Transcript:Red Rural Revelations

Pre-show

MATT: Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

ALL: (garbled) We play Dungeons & Dragons!

LIAM: (silly) Oh!

(laughter)

MATT: Yep.

(laughter)

MATT: But before we get into tonight's episode, we do have some announcements to get through, beginning with our first sponsor, NordVPN.

TRAVIS: (whispering) NordVPN.

MATT: Sam?

SAM: You've heard me talk about NordVPN before. It's the best cybersecurity on the market. That's it. Matt, hack to you.

(exhales with relief)

MATT: Wait, there's no ad?

SAM: We're on the moon. I really want to start exploring it. So let's just skip the ad. NordVPN, they sponsor us all the time. They're not even going to notice. Go on.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: (laughs)

MATT: On with the show then. [beeping timer begins] Up next-- ASHLEY M.: Sam! Sam! You have to do the ad.

SAM: What the hell, Ashley Middlebrook? (laughter) ASHLEY M.: Don't freak out. But we found this bomb on the set, and once you start an ad, which you did, if you stop the advertisement, it will explode!

SAM: Exactly like the movie Speed? ASHLEY M.: Exactly like the movie Speed!

SAM: Oh god!

ASHLEY: Such a good movie!

MARISHA: Sam, don't-- ASHLEY M.: You have to keep doing this ad, or the whole place is going to blow up.

MARISHA: Oh god! Oh god!

ASHLEY: Oh my god!

SAM: If lives are on the line, I have no choice but to continue.

(tense music begins)

MARISHA: What do we do with it? What do we do?

SAM: NordVPN software can protect you from all kinds of threats, DDoS attacks, phishing, malware, password, ransomware, even malvertising. That's when you click an ad, which I've done many times, and the ad will share your IP address or configuration with hackers, but NordVPN-- (gasping) I'm parched. I'm parched! I need water.

LAURA: Oh no!

SAM: I need water.

MARISHA: Damn it, Sam! You have to keep going!

SAM: (gags)

(tense music ends abruptly)

ASHLEY: (laughs)

LIAM: (laughs)

SAM: Right in the back of my throat!

(wheezing laughter)

SAM: And it is definitely rum!

MARISHA: Keep going! (laughter)

(tense music resumes)

SAM: With NordVPN, threat protection blocks ads for smooth and safe browsing. It also scans and downloads mal-- (gasping for air) It also scans and downloads mal-- (gasping for breath)

MARISHA: No time for air! No time for air!

(laughter)

SAM: Okay, okay. Okay, I'll keep going while you guys defuse the bomb!

MARISHA: Okay, we'll diffuse the bomb.

SAM: But I don't know what to say.

TRAVIS: This is what you were born to do, Riegel! Now advertise!

SAM: Okay, okay. If someone tries to shut down your server, they might try to DDoS you--

MARISHA: What do I do?

TRAVIS: Oh! Oh wait! Okay.

SAM: -- send a high volume of data to your--

TRAVIS: Which wire do we cut?

MARISHA: The red one.

SAM: (softly mumbling ad) On your network.

TRAVIS: Why?

MARISHA: Because it's always the red one!

TRAVIS: You sure?

MARISHA: I don't know!

TRAVIS: Okay, okay.

MARISHA: Someone call Keanu!

TRAVIS: I'm doing it, I'm doing it, I'm doing it!

MARISHA: Okay!

TRAVIS: One, two--

SAM: (softly) -- someone posting--

TRAVIS and MARISHA: (frantic panicking)

MARISHA: We got to do something! [powers down]

TRAVIS: (heavy breath of relief) We're clear.

SAM: Oh, I can stop?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

SAM: (sighs)

MARISHA: You did it, Sam. You saved my life. How can I repay you?

ASHLEY: (laughs)

SAM: By subscribing to NordVPN, Marisha.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: What a great read! That's a good read.

(laughter)

SAM: They've been sponsoring the show for a long time, and supporting them helps support the channel. So go click on over and grab the NordVPN deal at nordvpn.com/criticalrole.

MARISHA: Did I spit in your face?

SAM: (laughs) I like it. (laughter)

(groaning)

ASHLEY: Spit in my mouth!

SAM: -- and get an extra four months. Try it risk free now with a 30-day money back guarantee. Matt, I'm sorry your wife had to do that.

(laughter)

MATT: Not as sorry as she is. Thank you, Sam. Thank you, NordVPN. Marisha, you got announcements.

LAURA: That's a lot of rum you still have in that.

MATT: Yeah, you still thirsty, Sam?

SAM: It is definitely rum.

ASHLEY: It is?

LIAM: Don't we always have rum, guys?

SAM: It hit the back of my throat!

ASHLEY: It was so intense.

MARISHA: (laughing) Sorry!

MATT: You're used to it.

LIAM: You've been there before.

ASHLEY: Ooh! That is rum.

LAURA: Is it?

LIAM: Ah!

(laughter)

LIAM: Yeah, it's good.

(laughter)

MATT: Marisha!

MARISHA: Candela Obscura--

TRAVIS: Candela Obscura!

MARISHA: -- Tide & Bone has come to its thrilling conclusion. But you can now peek behind this curtain with our Session Zero Character Creation video, as well as our Crafting a Mystery interview with the uncomparable Aabria Iyengar.

TRAVIS: Aabria Iyengar!

(whooping and cheering)

MARISHA: Both VODs are now available on Twitch and YouTube. Then also, we just had the brilliant creators and narrators of Midst over for a fantastic round table!

SAM: We did. It was fun.

MARISHA: Yes, it was really awesome.

SAM: It was fun.

MARISHA: You can now check that out. It's out on VOD now. Season three launches next week on February 14th!

TRAVIS: (whispering) February 14th.

MARISHA: It's crazy! It's the best season yet. Get caught up.

ASHLEY: (party horn)

MARISHA: Subscribers get the first three episodes, as well as lots of other perks. So consider subscribing at midst.co.

TRAVIS: (whispering) Midst.co.

MARISHA: Get ready for this new thrilling installment of this mind boggling story!

MATT: Woo!

TRAVIS: Whoa! (laughs) That's good!

MATT: That's great. Thank you, Marisha. Laura, you're up.

LAURA: We have merch. (laughter) Starting with--

TRAVIS: Nice.

LAURA: This is for you, baby!

ASHLEY: (triumphant fanfare)

LAURA: (triumphant fanfare)

(cheering)

MATT: What?!

ASHLEY: Hey!

LAURA: It's a Chetney Pock O'Pea woodworking shirt.

ASHLEY: That's cool. That's cool!

LAURA: By artist Alexis Lampley. You can find them on Instagram @latenightletterer.

ASHLEY: It's cool.

LIAM: World's best dad!

LAURA: We have two colors. We have this. Wait. We have this one that's in the US It's kind of a heathered gray. Then we also have this one. It's a solid gray.

SAM: Oh! Solid.

LAURA: This is available in the UK and EU. This one is the US and Canada.

ASHLEY: I don't know which one I like better.

TRAVIS: Calling up some dinosaurs over here?

LAURA: Check them out.

SAM: Those are cool.

MATT: Thank you.

LAURA: Also, guess what else we have?

TRAVIS: Oh.

ASHLEY: Wait, what is this?

LAURA: We have more merch! I'm going to tell you right now.

SAM: You're going to take those shirts home, right?

LIAM: Yeah.

(laughter)

LAURA: Okay, get ready.

MARISHA: (laughing) Sorry.

LAURA: Because you know we have this Bells Hells collection. Well, now we're releasing an Orym of the Air Ashari bomber jacket!

SAM: Oh cool!

LIAM: Whoa!

ASHLEY: That's awesome!

MATT: Cool!

MARISHA: I love that!

LIAM: What?!

LAURA: I know!

TALIESIN: Holy shit!

LIAM: That's so cool!

LAURA: Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait.

TALIESIN: Whoa!

LAURA: Look at the back.

ASHLEY: What?!

LAURA: It's like your tattoo! Big moon and little moon!

TRAVIS: Hold it up to the light.

LIAM: I'm taking that home.

LAURA: It's super cool.

SAM: That's really cool.

LAURA: And it's so comfy.

SAM: Yeah, you are.

LAURA: It's got this really beautiful lining.

SAM: Oh wow.

TALIESIN: Ooh!

LIAM: Wow!

SAM: We made good stuff.

LAURA: I know, and it's super comfortable! Anyway, it's in all our shops. Go check it out.

SAM: Wow. I love it.

LAURA: Here. You can't take it home. We have to keep these here now.

LIAM: But I can take it home, right?

LAURA: But you can wear it.

LIAM: Okay.

SAM: You have more to say, Laura.

TRAVIS: At the studio.

LAURA: I'm saying more! Also, we have more of some stuff that I am going to talk about.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Bro.

LAURA: Our friends at Sideshow, guess what? They have a beautiful Yasha statue that's coming out. It's open for pre-order--

ASHLEY: It's so good!

TALIESIN: It is really pretty.

LAURA: -- right now!

LAURA: Channel your inner storm with flowers in your hair. I didn't read the prompter right at all there.

(laughter)

LAURA: You can also, if you already bought Beau--

ASHLEY: Let's see, let's see.

LAURA: -- you can pair Yasha up with Beau.

ASHLEY: That's really cool.

LAURA: Look how much-- You can't see Yasha right now.

ASHLEY: Look how hot she is!

LIAM: She's so lonely.

TALIESIN: Mm.

SAM: I thought you were going to show us how they pair.

LAURA: No, just saying Beau's hot.

SAM: Okay.

(laughter)

LAURA: Yasha's also hot and would be hot right here.

ASHLEY: Beau's hot, bro.

SAM: Oh, okay.

ASHLEY: Obviously very sad to be standing alone.

LAURA: Look it, she's so lonely. Visit side.show/orderyasha to pre-order Yasha.

SAM: Oh!

LAURA: Or you could check out any of Sideshow's other stunning Critical Role statues. They have prints.

ASHLEY: They're all real cool.

LAURA: They have other stuff. Check it out. Now I'm really done.

MATT: Awesome. Thank you, Laura.

LAURA: You're welcome.

MATT: I believe that concludes our announcements.

ASHLEY: Oh boy, oh boy. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!

MATT: While you manage to take care of your parched mouths, let's go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role.

LIAM: Hit me with the rum gun!

Part I

MATT: And welcome back. So, last we left off: Bells Hells, after fighting and sneaking their way to the center--

SAM: ♪ Sneaking their way ♪

MATT: -- of the Tishtan Excavation site, stepped upon the Bloody Bridge and found yourselves transported to the surface of the red Moon of Ill Omen, Ruidus itself. Upon arriving, you used the still-lingering spell from Keyleth the Air Ashari to transform into mist. Once you had managed to escape a brief encounter at the center of the receiving encampment on the moon, and managed to evade discovery long enough to escape over the windy and dust covered landscape. Upon traveling and traversing to a region that seemed safe, you found a cavern where you could rest and collect your thoughts. Imogen reached your mind out to try and connect to the weird drawing essence of the very moon that you stand on. In doing so, you seemed to draw some attention, but learned some very important things. As you now continue to seek information about what's happening here, what's important about it, who's responsible, and what you can bring back that might offer an advantage to all those that lie in wait on Exandria. You continued on through a storm, met some of the local wildlife from a distance, and then settled down in a mountain nestled city, or a village, where it seemed a lot of farm folk and livestock were being tended to, gathered in a very simple life. Still with a Reiloran presence, some working, some walking with authority. But here in the shadow, five of your troop have traveled down into one of the little farm sections, an offshoot of the village proper, again, to transform back into your physical selves from the mist form within a storage structure of some kind. Upon nearly completing your structure, your transference, an entity walked in and noticed. About to squeal for a moment, you shouted towards it to stay quiet. Through a brief moment of persuasion, the tension seems to have been abated or not crossed over into anything dangerous, as the somewhat hulking looking, round backed, tree trunk-like armed creature, its hood pulled up over its eyes, its cherub-like cheeks, its curled thin nostril, elephant type nose that just pushes past the mouth. It looks up at you with dark eyes and is now quivering, asking you in Common, "What are you doing? Who are you?"

MARISHA: We're here to help against the Ruby Vanguard. We're not with them.

MATT: "I don't want to get involved. I don't want anything to do--"

LAURA: Are you Imperium?

MATT: "No. Yeah, we all are Im--"

LAURA: What is Imperium?

SAM: (laughs)

SAM: We're friends. Don't worry, we're not here-- Oh, hi. Hi, smiley day to you. We're friends. We're not here to harm anyone.

MATT: "Are you friends of the Imperium?"

LAURA: Are you friends of the Imperium?

SAM: (laughs) Oh boy, that's not shady.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: I think--

MATT: "Yes, we are friends of the Imperium."

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: Then we're friends of the--

MARISHA: A friend of yours is a friend of ours!

SAM: Wait. No, they're bad.

LAURA: Yeah, I know.

TRAVIS: No, the Imperium's good.

LAURA: No, Imperium's bad.

LIAM: Insight check him.

SAM: Friends of the Imperium.

MARISHA: Yes.

SAM: But he's just saying that because he thinks that--

LAURA: We're friends with them.

SAM: -- we're friends with the Imperium.

LAURA: I'm going to, wait, I'm going to--

(laughter)

LAURA: Wait, let me see if I have the spell slot. Spells. Yes. I'm going to Detect Thoughts.

MATT: You're going to Detect Thoughts?

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: Surface?

LAURA: Sure.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: I want to see what he's thinking of about the Imperium.

MATT: Okay. The immediate emotional journey that the surface of this creature's mind gives you is that of panic, fear, a hint of curiosity. But in their head, they're like, "It's a test. A test, I think it's a test."

TALIESIN: If we said we are not friends of the Imperium, would you turn us in? Because if we said that--

LAURA: No, that sounds like a test.

SAM: Feels like a test, too.

TALIESIN: It is a test!

(laughter)

MATT: "Of course, immediately."

TALIESIN: This is a test.

SAM: Wait.

TALIESIN: Look, we're ridiculous.

SAM: We hate the Imperium, all right? Let's just be out with it.

MATT: "You are dressed like the friends of the Imperium."

SAM: No, we're not. We don't like them.

MARISHA: We had to sneak in because they're everywhere. So this is how we got in!

SAM: We're here to take them down.

MATT: "I have to turn you in."

MARISHA: No, no, no, no, no, no!

SAM: You don't have to.

ASHLEY: Wait, was I--

LAURA: Yeah, you're here.

ASHLEY: Hi.

SAM: (laughs)

MATT: Hi.

ASHLEY: Hi.

TALIESIN: I'll tell you, we can figure that out later. Would it be okay just to have a conversation? Just because we're a little confused.

ASHLEY: Listen, listen.

TALIESIN: You're confused.

ASHLEY: I don't know what you're talking to your chest right now. I don't know if you're alerting somebody about something. But listen.

SAM, TRAVIS, and LIAM: (laugh)

MATT: "Yes."

ASHLEY: Listen.

SAM: No, you don't have to say yes.

ASHLEY: Yeah, you don't have to.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Listen, listen, listen.

MATT: "Yes?"

ASHLEY: We are not friends of the Imperium, okay? We're here to just scope things out and try to get answers. But we're not friends with the Imperium. But we really don't want to alert them that we're here.

LAURA: Yeah, we're trying to help you.

MATT: Okay. You see he looks down at his chest again. Make a persuasion check for me, Fearne.

SAM: His chest.

MARISHA: What is he looking at? Can I see what he's looking at?

MATT: Make a perception check.

SAM: This is popped in instantly.

TRAVIS: Can I aid her by taking--

LAURA: But I'm still also still detecting his thoughts. So would I have-- Okay.

TRAVIS: Can I aid her by using the Monocle of True Essence?

LIAM: You and I are floating up in the sky.

MATT: You are in a cloud.

TRAVIS: Oh, balls!

LIAM: Itty bitty clouds. Which-- Maybe I did this a week ago, I can't remember. I want to make sure that everything's quiet on the lunar front and see if anyone else is coming, if there's any problems.

MATT: Sure.

ASHLEY: Did you say persuasion?

MATT: Yes.

ASHLEY: 14.

LIAM: That's cocked. Very cocked.

MATT: 14, okay.

SAM: I'm also looking around the room for other exits or anything odd in here.

MATT: Certainly. It's a perception from you as well.

MARISHA: I rolled a 21 for perception to see what he's looking at.

MATT: Okay. You see something shifting underneath the cowl that's put over the shoulder, it's there's movement over here.

LAURA: Like he's got a creature in his pocket?

SAM: Or a third arm or something. I rolled a 23. Just look around there.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Quaid!

MATT: So--

ASHLEY: The weasel.

MATT: Looking around, the only real exit is the entrance where you all, and this figure came in. There's no windows here. It's a sizable storage shed, but it's just a storage shed with no other discernible exit. Yeah, you see something moving here and looking at you, you see this conflict in its expression. Its thick brows are turned upward and a knotted bit of being caught in their own decision making process.

ASHLEY: It's okay, it's okay.

MATT: "But this-- (stuttered mumbling)" You see as he--

MARISHA: Do you have a little friend?

LAURA: Can I hear any distress in their brain?

MATT: You hear distress, and you hear, "(panicked, doubtful mumbling) It's too young. It's too young." You hear this faint noise go, (adorable babbling)

MARISHA: Oh!

MATT: You see the figure, "I need to talk to someone. I--"

MARISHA: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Wait!

TRAVIS: Kill them.

MARISHA: Wait! Please, we just want to have a conversation, and then we'll leave, and you won't--

SAM: Where's this person you want to talk to?

MATT: "The Imperium."

SAM: No.

MARISHA: No, no, no, no, no. No!

MATT: "Well, I--"

LAURA: Please, our lives are depending on you. If you turn us in, they'll kill us.

MARISHA: What's your name?

MATT: "I am Dono."

ASHLEY: Dono?

MARISHA: Do--

SAM: You don't know?

MARISHA: Don't know? Or your name is--

MATT: "Dono."

SAM: Dono!

MARISHA: Dono! (laughs)

ASHLEY: Dono? Dono!

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MARISHA: Dono.

ASHLEY: Dono, Dono.

TRAVIS: You-- (laughs)

ASHLEY: Dono.

TRAVIS: Unbelievable.

LAURA: Uh, Dono. Did you notice that?

TRAVIS: Don't know!

ASHLEY and MARISHA: I don't know!

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Oh!

ASHLEY: Wait, I am going to--

LIAM: Dono.

MARISHA: Dono. (laughs)

(laughs)

ASHLEY: Stand by, stand by.

TRAVIS: I don't know.

LAURA: What are you yelling for?

(laughs)

ASHLEY: I don't know!

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Okay, I am going to--

TALIESIN: We're going to die.

ASHLEY: -- create a little flower, a little Druidcraft.

SAM: Oh, nice, nice, nice.

ASHLEY: A little flower.

LAURA: That's really smart.

ASHLEY: With a beautiful lavender calming scent, but it's just a beautiful purple flower.

MATT: Okay. You create the flower. He's backing away, still holding the glowing amulet--

SAM: He's never seen a flower before.

MATT: -- that he had procured and stops, looks at it.

ASHLEY: For you, if you want it.

MATT: In his head, you hear, "It's too many tests. I don't want to fail it."

MARISHA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Oh no! I was trying to give him a present. There you go.

MATT: Big old meaty fingers. Takes it carefully and then moves it down, and you watch as underneath the robes, these two, what you didn't see, a much smaller additional set of folded arms that are right in the sternum area come out with these long, thin, very dextrous fingers--

LAURA: Is it part of his body?

MATT: -- that grab the flower and begin to turn it over in his face as he glances. The bigger ones, not suited for delicate maneuverability.

LIAM: But there was a voice, too.

MATT: As it looks at it--

ASHLEY: Was it the baby?

MATT: -- you hear that weird babbling again. "(adorable babbling)" The cloak shifts a bit.

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

MATT: You watch as this small, almost an iguana-like humanoid crawls out from underneath and up the smaller arms, long, thin, almost fey-like ears. At first glance, it looks almost like an imp, but its thick-scaled hide and its thin body, its thin limbs as it crawls along deftly, it also looks weirdly adorable. Its eyes have this gold shimmer to it, and it curls up along the smaller arms and looks at the flower and starts chewing on it. It's like "No, no, no." "No, don't eat it."

ASHLEY: It's okay, you can eat it.

MATT: "It's okay?"

ASHLEY: Yeah, if he needs a snack. I'm pretty sure.

MATT: "Okay, eat the flower."

SAM: I'm going to cast Tongues on myself, so I can understand if that creature murmurs again.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Is this your-- Who is this?

MATT: "This here is Kaniey."

ASHLEY and MARISHA: Kaniey?

SAM: Kaniey?

MATT: "Yes."

MARISHA: I have a little pet, too. Would you like to meet him?

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: "Okay."

MARISHA: All right. I reach in the bag and pull out Pâté.

MATT: (Pâté) "How's it going?"

MARISHA: Shut up! Shut up!

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: Backs up, the creature curls up and is like, "(hissing babbles)."

MARISHA: You don't have to immediately talk.

MATT: You pick up the babbling. It's not language.

SAM: Oh.

MATT: It's just babbling.

LAURA: Aw, it's a baby!

SAM: Okay, I'll relay that to my friends.

TALIESIN: We're clearly not from around here, if that isn't--

MATT: (Dono) "You are Dreamers, yes?"

LAURA: Dreamers.

SAM: Dreamers.

LAURA: I do dream.

ASHLEY: What do you mean by that?

MATT: "You are Dreamers."

LAURA: Is that what they call them here?

MATT: "You're not with Imperium? You promise?"

SAM: Oh no.

MARISHA: No.

SAM: We don't know what that is. I mean, we know what the Imperium is.

TALIESIN: I pull the cloak back. We're wearing really not Imperium stuff under this. This is-- Yeah, no.

MATT: "Oh!" Reaches out. Big, thick calloused fingers rub against the material. "Whoa."

TRAVIS: Work it.

TALIESIN: It's new.

MARISHA: I pull out my membership card for the Dreamscape Theater in Jrusar.

MATT: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Wow.

MARISHA: I don't have any identification. But look, see? This is where we're from. We're from a place called Jrusar.

MATT: Small arms grab it and the little creature curls up a little bit to inspect, and starts nibbling on that, too. "Stop eating, I want to keep flower. I have not seen one before."

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MARISHA: Can I have my membership card back?

MATT: "Oh yes, of course."

MARISHA: It gives us VIP access. Thank you so much.

MATT: "Take it. There, it's okay."

MARISHA: Thank you.

MATT: "Sorry, this-- Wow."

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: "We're not supposed to talk to the Dreamers when they come through."

LAURA: How often do they come through?

MATT: "Not often. More in past weeks, but recently, not many."

ASHLEY: Are Dreamers not from around here? Is that what you--

MATT: "Dreamers are from the--"

ASHLEY: Yeah, okay.

MATT: "This is really, this is very neat. I've not met a Dreamer or talked to them before."

LAURA: I'm Imogen.

MATT: "Imogen. I'm Dono. I told you that already."

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: "That's embarrassing."

LAURA: This is Kaniey?

MATT: "This is Kaniey." Kaniey goes (snarls). "Kaniey, be friendly."

(Kaniey babbling sullenly)

LAURA: I think you're cute.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: (adorable babbling)

(laughter)

MATT: Curls back in.

ASHLEY: Oh my goodness.

MATT: "Kaniey is still a baby. My cytaa."

SAM: My sight?

MATT: "Cytaa."

SAM: Oh, cytaa.

LAURA: What does sita mean?

MARISHA: Is that what they're called?

MATT: "Yes.

MARISHA: (whispers) Cytaa. How do you spell that?

MATT: "We are bormodos."

LAURA: Bormodos.

TRAVIS: Bormodos.

MATT: "People of the land."

MARISHA: Tormodos?

MATT: "Bormodos."

LAURA and TRAVIS: Bormodos.

MARISHA: Bormodos.

MATT: "Every bormodo bonds with a cytaa at a young age. I lost my last cytaa, so this is new cytaa. But it is very young, so I'm still teaching them. They're very rambunctious, is the word, right?"

TALIESIN: Do cytaa get bigger or do they stay that size?

MATT: "They get bigger." You see his hands go, boop!

TALIESIN: Oh!

LAURA: Aw!

TALIESIN: This is the first sita I've ever seen, and bormodo as well. This is new.

ASHLEY: How do you connect with them? What do they do?

MATT: "They help clean us. They help keep watch. They are there to be a companion and a lookout, and we keep them warm, and we feed them scraps, and it is-- What is the word? It is... Symbiotic."

LAURA: Symbiotic, yeah.

MATT: "Yes."

ASHLEY: Oh, yes. Yes, yes.

SAM: How do you speak the language that we speak?

MATT: "Many of us learned through your dreams."

SAM: Through our dreams?

TALIESIN: Oh!

MATT: "Yes."

SAM: So you can hear--

MARISHA: You can see?

SAM: -- and see us when we dream?

MATT: "As we have experienced and told, we do not dream. We dream yours."

SAM: Oh!

MATT: "You are the Dreamers, and when we go to rest, we get to witness your dreams."

LAURA: Wow.

SAM: The good ones and the bad ones?

MATT: "Yeah."

ASHLEY: Is it all different people's dreams that you experience, or just one person?

SAM: Yeah, are you locked into one person? Yeah.

MATT: "No, it depends. Sometimes, it's--" You see this wistful look come over the eyes of Dono. "Sometimes it's very beautiful. It's like getting to see all these little stories every night."

SAM: That's amazing. Do you ever-- I'm just so curious.

LAURA: I'm suddenly feeling a little embarrassed about some of the dreams that I've had.

SAM: I've been poking around in dreams myself with a lot of these Dreamers. Some of them are a little disturbing, and some of them are a little bit not safe for work.

LAURA: (laughs)

SAM: (laughs)

MATT: You see this--

ASHLEY: NSFW?

MATT: -- odd, purplish tint begin to rise to the cheeks of Dono. "The Dreamers have very vivid imaginations."

SAM: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Nice. Good, yes.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah.

SAM: You don't recognize any of us, do you?

MARISHA: Yes, do you tap into our dreams?

MATT: "I don't believe so."

MARISHA: Oh, good!

TALIESIN: Sometimes we walk through, Dreamers just come through? Do we even know that you're there? Do we normally acknowledge or talk to anybody?

MATT: "I have not experienced--"

TALIESIN: Oh.

MATT: "I am but simple farm folk. If you want to know more of that philo-solophical element, better in capital city."

LAURA: Where is the capital city?

MATT: "The capital city is-- I have not been there, but--"

SAM: It's one kilometer away.

MATT: Yes. It is not a kilometer away.

(laughter)

MATT: "The city is called Kreviris."

SAM: Kreviris.

MARISHA: Kreviris.

MATT: "Kreviris. This is what the-- Kreviris Imperium is the capital that."

TALIESIN: Oh.

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: "I have not visited, but the elder has been, when they were young."

LAURA: Oh, the elder of your town, of your village?

MATT: "One of them. I can take you to speak to Elder Barthie."

SAM: We would love that. Before we go, there's a couple more of us who exist and might appear at some point.

MATT: "Also not Imperium?"

SAM: No, definitely not.

TALIESIN: That would be weird.

SAM: Even less Imperium than us. Also, do you need anything? Do you need help with anything? You're a farmer, what do you farm? Is there anything we could do to help, to show that we are 100% on your side?

TALIESIN: Actually, what do you farm? I'm really curious.

MATT: "I will turn you in to the Imperium."

LAURA: What? Why?

ASHLEY: Wait, why?

MATT: "I just had to check."

SAM: Oh.

MATT: "It might still have been a trick. I don't know. I've not done this before."

SAM: I think the rule is, if you ask Imperium if they are Imperium, they have to by law tell you that they are.

LAURA: Don't tell people that because I don't think they really do.

SAM: So if you ask us--

TRAVIS: Entrapment.

SAM: -- and we say no, then you can believe it.

TRAVIS: Are you a narc?

MATT: "Oh, all right." What's interesting is--

ASHLEY: Entrapment was a good movie.

MATT: -- you watch through a lot of the communication, the really small arms at the front, they're very expressive now that he's feeling more comfortable. As he talks, they open and react and curl up and frame the cheeks a little bit. It's like having this little additional form of physical expression that's usually tucked and hidden within the cloak. "Well, you can bring more. Just be quiet and please don't say I helped."

LAURA: Of course not. How many of the... Reilorans? You probably don't call them that here.

SAM: The locals?

LAURA: Yeah, the tall--

MATT: "The Reilorans."

SAM: Oh, okay.

LAURA: How many of them are in this city, in this town?

MATT: "Maybe a few dozen, maybe more. We have farmer Reilorans as well, those who help with the wuukors, those who help with the avadons, those who help to gather the--"

SAM: Is that those big creatures that are out there? Those beasts of burden?

MATT: "The wuukors, they have the many horns."

SAM: Duvokors?

MATT: "Wuukors."

SAM: Wuukors.

MATT: "With all the many horns."

TALIESIN: They run straight into the dust storm. I don't know how they do that, but that was really impressive.

MATT: "They're very big."

TALIESIN: Well!

MARISHA: Wuukorns?

LAURA: Wuukors.

ASHLEY: Wuukors?

MATT: "Wuukor."

LAURA: Wuukorkor.

MATT: W-U-U-K-O-R.

LAURA: Oh!

TALIESIN: How much of the Imperium is in this city? We're trying to keep-- We don't want to get in trouble.

MATT: "There are, right now, probably about a dozen or so Imperium. They're--"

TALIESIN: Pretty relaxed, all things considered?

MATT: "No, it's been pretty intense as of late. Some left recently, three days ago. There's been a lot of movement, and they've been pushing for us to produce double amounts in recent months."

SAM: Amounts of--?

MATT: "Of materials, of training avadons."

LAURA and MARISHA: What's an avadons?

MATT: "Avadons, it is beast for burden, but also can be trained as a war mount for the--"

LAURA: Oh, yes yes yes.

SAM: Did we see those?

TRAVIS: The buffalo.

SAM: Wait, no, the buffalos are the wuukors.

TALIESIN: Those are the dogs that came--

SAM: Avadons are the dog things?

MARISHA: They look like headless dogs.

MATT: "Yes, that is the avadon."

MARISHA: That's an avadon.

MATT: "We use them for hunting, usually, but there have been more and more of them needed to be given over to the Dominion of Cruth."

ASHLEY: Who do you train them to kill? You train them to be mounted, and--?

MATT: "We train them to hunt with us. There are Feskul, which is the storm-riding winged beasts. There are all manner of small critters that we use for food and/or pelts to keep warm when the cold storms come through."

TRAVIS: Shout-out Critters.

MARISHA: (laughs)

SAM: You are so fascinating to talk to. We love it, we want to keep going, but we don't want to get you in trouble, so if you're going to march us somewhere, do we need to cloak ourselves or make ourselves look--

TALIESIN: If we took a minute, we could all just vanish, and then follow you to the elders, and then you would warn them that we would be appearing, but we could get there undetected, if we so desired.

ASHLEY: Your elders, are they against the Imperium as well?

MATT: "I don't know. Prob--"

LAURA: I'm a little nervous about meeting anyone else.

MATT: "Elder Barthie's very nice, and would be who I trust."

MARISHA: Barthie?

MATT: "Barthie does not-- Speaks in hushed tongues about frustration with recent pressures."

LAURA: My worry is that--

MATT: "Known me since I was a small."

SAM: If he trusts him, or they trust him--

LAURA: Yeah, but the Reilorans tend to read thoughts. I'm sure you know that.

SAM: But if he knows more about the capital city, that might be worth-- Dono trusts him!

LAURA: I know, I just don't want to get them in trouble. The more people that are-- This is all in our brains. The more people that are exposed to us, the more people we put at risk.

TALIESIN: I'll say--

SAM: Yeah, but--

LAURA: But it's worth it?

SAM: Yeah, we're on a mission for god!

LAURA: Sure.

(quiet laughter)

LAURA: You're right.

MARISHA: Would your elders be open for counsel tonight?

MATT: "Maybe, I could go look. We've definitely put most of our livestock to rest for the night, other than the shadow-hunters out with their mounts."

MARISHA: Shadow-hunters?

MATT: "I can look into--"

MARISHA: We're learning so much vocabulary.

SAM: You've got so much lore, Dono.

LAURA: (laughs)

TALIESIN: We'll turn invisible again, and we'll follow you.

LAURA: We could stay here.

TALIESIN: Well, we can follow and wait outside, and then you can just wave, and then we can come in and appear, if we need to.

ASHLEY: Do you happen to know when the Dreamers started coming here for the first time? Or was that too long ago?

MATT: "A number of weeks back, couple months, maybe."

LAURA: It was when we made the bridge. A number of weeks.

ASHLEY: Oh, that's soon. That's not long.

LAURA: No. Maybe the first time we got Ruidus close enough to Exandria.

ASHLEY: How did you know that you were dreaming our dreams?

MATT: "This is what the Weave Mind tells us."

MARISHA and SAM: The Weave Mind?

LIAM: Lore, lore, lore.

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: Who is the Weave Mind?

MATT: "The Weave Mind are the masters of the Imperium."

LAURA: Masters?

MATT: "They are the ones that connect us to the dream. That connect us to The One Who Sleeps."

LAURA: Predathos.

SAM: (stage whispers) The One Who Sleeps. That's Predathos. I know that one.

ASHLEY: Do you know who sleeps?

MATT: "That's what they say, I--"

ASHLEY: It's what they say. Did you ever hear about The One Who Sleeps prior to?

MATT: "It's not my business. I just focus on my work."

ASHLEY: Okay. I think I ask something.

LAURA: I have a question. Avadons. Is there anything that can make them lose focus? Do you know of any scents that they don't like?

MATT: "Loud noises tend to spook them, and they can become unruly."

LAURA: Got it.

MATT: "I know that while we have to keep them calmed through, they have places on the shoulders where it's sensitive, where with right petting they can become docile, or ready to eat. It's how we keep them under control, for training purposes. The Reilora, however, they can get into the avidan's head, and directly control at times, depending."

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: Sorry, we're doing a lot of notes, I'm sorry.

SAM: Sorry, sorry. How far away is the elder? Is it across the way, or down the path, or--?

MATT: "It's closer to the center of this outpost, this is Razora."

SAM: Razora?

MARISHA: This is the town.

MATT: "Welcome to Razora."

(laughter)

MARISHA: Razora outpost. Razz... razz...

TALIESIN: Well, I think we should do this. Let's vanish, and then we'll follow. So we're going to slowly disappear, and then we will follow you to the elder's house, and then once you give the signal, we'll come in and appear.

MATT: "Very well."

TALIESIN: I think that's a good plan. This is a good plan.

SAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah! We're going to turn into a dream for a second, and then we'll come back.

MARISHA: We'll be able to see you.

MATT: "Can I watch?"

MARISHA: Sure.

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: He just stands there, looking at you all.

SAM: (grunts)

LIAM: (dusty poof)

(laughter)

MATT: "Wow."

SAM: Bye.

LAURA: Bye.

MATT: "It's very impressive."

LAURA: Bye, Kaniey.

MATT: (babbles) Pulls the hood forward a little bit, sets the dangling amulet down for a bit, and turns around, and you can see as you drift out and around, you can see squat-like, lumbering mountain of a creature does the best it can to hop and heel click with excitement before heading back towards the doorway, and slowly opening it, and stepping out. The wind kind (whistles) blowing past, amid the dusk, and plumes pushing by.

LIAM: That was Chetney.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Do we see Chetney and Orym, floating around?

MATT: It's hard to see where they are at a first glance in the space, but upon communication, you can quickly--

(laughter)

MATT: -- communicate.

ASHLEY: We're going to go meet the elders.

SAM: What?

ASHLEY: Or, an elder.

LAURA: There's an elder we're meeting. This guy's really nice. His name is Dono.

ASHLEY: But he does know a lot, which is pretty cool.

MARISHA: We are in Razora. That's the name of this outpost.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah, there's a sign right over there that says Razora outpost.

SAM: (laughs)

MARISHA: Ah, shit!

(laughter)

SAM: And population, Dono.

(laughter)

MARISHA: All right.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Are we following him?

TALIESIN: Oh yeah.

LAURA: Yes, okay.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Subtly.

MATT: You can see now, throughout the evening village, there are a number of figures that walk, patrol through the various walkways, carrying these lanterns that are a blue, spherical glass that maintains a steady, almost magical light source around it. There's not a lot of torch, or firelight out here, probably because the heavy winds would scatter, and put things out rather rapidly. But you can hear the shifting of the wuukors, of other smaller creatures and such that are put off into small paddocks, and areas to bundle up and sleep for the night. So it's still a little quiet. There's a little bit of life to it, but usually people finishing up their work for the day, or keeping eyes out. You follow past a number of these other dome-like mud and rock homesteads and structures, watching the slightly swaying gait of Dono as he looks around, glancing in the sky around, keeping an eye out for where you might be, and looks over, and gets lost for a second before remembering what he's doing, and continues on the path. You watch as one Reiloran comes by, and you can see it's wearing standard rough and tumble work clothes, and it gives a nod. Dono gives a nod back, and walks by, continues past a small, what would be a trade square, where there are a number of collapsed tents and tables, not in use at the moment. Moves around the left hand side of that square, towards a cluster of three larger buildings that sit next to each other, like a mass of ellipses. Stepping up around it, you can see another pair of Reiloran come by, one that is smaller than the juggernauts you've encountered, but definitely more muscular than some others you've seen, and is well armored. These metallic shoulder pauldrons that scoop up into these large spikes. You can see chains that dangle from edge to edge, and they have the bony crest of their head itself is adorned with a similar chain, as one of the ones that you had previously met through summoning before. You can see Dono keep a wider berth to keep around, as they glance over, and keep walking. Eventually, Dono circles around towards the center of those three larger buildings, and comes up at the door, and looks around to see if he sees you, and takes him a good solid minute or so before he can find the wisps of dust cloud that aren't going anywhere.

LIAM: Can I ask a question?

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: So, we're spending minutes, at least minutes, floating overhead and looking down. Couple questions, one, what's the ratio of Donos, to Reilorans, to--

LAURA: Bormodos.

LIAM: Bormodos, thank you.

MATT: You don't see many bormodos out at this time. Many of them seem to have gone into their homes, and you can see, within all the homes, there's either dull firelight inside, crackling, or similar light sources like that pale blue that you saw before. There's maybe about three dozen figures that you see throughout this entire village, total, that are currently out and about moving. Some of them are carrying the last of their workload for the day. Some of them appear to be, not unlike the Reiloran that you just saw, in the process of just keeping watch, making sure that nothing untoward is going on.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: But when you first came down into the town, and got a quick glance as you were looking over, this town's probably 75% bormodo at least.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: But there were working Reiloran as well.

LIAM: Okay, and then follow up questions, looking at these two, which look like sort of guards, or warriors of some kind, using the fighter ability, Know Your Enemy, can I ask if their total class levels are lower than Orym's, and if their armor class are lower than Orym's? Those are the two traits that I'm assessing.

MATT: Their total class level?

LIAM: Yeah, total class level, in comparison to Orym's.

MATT: Right. In comparison to Orym's, they're a little bit lower. They're no pushover, but you do not see them as seasoned soldiers.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: You know, you don't feel threatened by them, to a degree. You just know it would be work.

LIAM: Orym's AC is 19. AC is lower, higher?

MATT: AC is lower.

LIAM: Lower, and then the last question, what kind of attitude do those warriors have towards the bormodos around them? That's not a feature or anything, I'm trying to see, are they chill together? Is it antagonistic?

MATT: Make an insight check.

LIAM: Terrible. That is a two plus three.

MATT: Hard to tell at night when you're a fart.

LIAM: Thanks.

TRAVIS: It's hard at night being a fart.

(laughter)

MATT: Dono comes to the back of the large dome structure, and you can see, at a distance, it looks like one massive rock mud dome. As you get closer to it, you can see there's scalloped edges with circle window holes and portholes that themselves have bits of glass that's a little warped, and natural in its shape that fits into the window spots. You can see there are strips, like banners of painted art, or some sort of flags, or decoration that brings a little color to the exterior. These particular buildings have a little more of an aesthetic to them than what you've encountered on the outskirts of the village. You watch as Dono eventually makes eyes towards your group, nods, looks around nervously, leans out against the wall.

(laughter)

MATT: Looks around.

TRAVIS: Slick, slick, smooth.

ASHLEY: Real smooth.

MATT: Leans in, and one of his small hands goes, (sharp, quick knocks) Waits, looks back at the rest of you.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: (rapid soft knocks)

LAURA: He's a really good spy.

ASHLEY: Yeah, he really doesn't look obvious.

MATT: You hear a sound of shifting chain.

TALIESIN: He's real good.

MATT: The door opens slightly, and you see a figure just framed in shadow as the door opens. A similar hunched shape. Not able to make out much detail, and Dono talks for a moment. The tiny hands get together, and tap nervously.

(laughter)

MATT: The big arms come together, and tap nervously in a much slower way.

TRAVIS: He's got small hands coming out of his chest.

LAURA: Yes, he does.

MARISHA: Yes, yes, yes!

SAM: Know what they say about small hands coming out of your chest.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: It's fucking weird.

(laughter)

MATT: Yep.

ASHLEY: And awesome.

MATT: Slowly, the door opens a little further, and you can see the figure lean out for a minute, and you can see on the other hand, they have a large gnarled stick, it looks like, that they're leaning on. They glance out, and you watch Dono go, and point up to all of you, and the creature takes the staff and knocks him in the head, and is like--

TRAVIS: I break for the open door, (whooshes).

LAURA: Yeah, same.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: Dono lumbers in, and all of you shift into the interior.

LIAM: Casually, though.

SAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

TRAVIS: I move into the lungs of the elder. (gasps)

(laughter)

TRAVIS: (goopy explosion)

ASHLEY: (yells)

MATT: Oh my goodness. So--

LAURA: It was a test!

(laughter)

MATT: Heading into the interior of this chamber, you can see this low light, these candle-like lanterns that are lit. You get the smell of unique spices that you've never really smelled before. There's almost a sweetness to the air, but it also meets a charcoal-like burnt scent that creates this incense-like aesthetic on the inside. You can see there are all these wide, squat tables that have been carved from stone, and other materials that you can't quite make out what the source may have been. There are a number of heavy, look almost like chairs that can also be beds. They're in a heavy reclined position, and they're thick with heavy woven material that's put over them, and cushions. You can see there's a unique-looking tea kettle that almost seems to curl upward in a spiral before a spout stops. There's a little flame beneath that that's burning, and a number of these little metal cups that are these massive metal cups that come to a small domed bottom that are set around this table, and you watch as the two of them shuffle over towards the sides of the table. Dono's like, "Is it okay for you to meet my friends?" The elder turns around, and you can see the long, stringy elements of gray white hair that tumble and tangle out from underneath their hood, as they pull it back. You can see they have a very similar facial structure to Dono, but much older. You can see the wrinkles are very deep set. You can almost not see the eyes, they're so deeply pushed back. As they turn around to look at Dono, there's a very stark intensity to their expression that then immediately, as it curls into a smile, melts away into the most grandfatherly-like expression you've seen. This figure sets the staff down to the side on the table and goes, "Well, yes, you can have them apparate if that seems appropriate."

LAURA: Okay.

ASHLEY: Is anyone going first, or are we doing it all at the same time?

(grunting)

MATT: "Oh my, that's--"

LAURA: Oh, all at once, huh?

MATT: "Quite a majestic arrival for your friends here, Dono. Wow. Very wild."

(laughter)

MATT: "All right."

SAM: It's Johnny Carson.

MARISHA: Carson?

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Oh no.

ASHLEY: Hello.

LIAM: (like Johnny Carson) We got a really big moon here.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: W-w-what's your name?

MATT: "Well, Dreamers, friends from the world beyond."

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Yes!

MATT: "I am your humble Elder Barthie, the honor is mine."

(laughter)

MATT: "I believe you've met Dono?"

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: "Well, thank you, Dono, for your time. You can sit down for a second."

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

MATT: "Anyway."

LIAM: I guess we know whose dreams he's been invading.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Yep.

MATT: "If I might ask, before things get too hairy, what can you give me assurances that you are indeed aligned with the Imperium?"

SAM: I mean, have you ever seen the Imperium turn into mist?

MATT: "No, but we've seen a lot of really wild things as of late, so."

SAM: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Wait, did you say that we are aligned with the Imperium or not?

LAURA: No, to make sure we're not.

TALIESIN: Not aligned.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay.

TRAVIS: Open up that bag of holding. I'll reach in and pull out the head of the--

TALIESIN: Oh yeah.

SAM: That's a good proof.

TRAVIS: The head of the--

SAM: That's a good proof.

MARISHA: Oh, that's right!

MATT: Immediately, you watch him reel. "Dono, close that window, and that window and that window and that window."

MARISHA: I use Thaumaturgy to go--

TRAVIS: We're friends. Listen to us.

MATT: "That's extremely disturbing."

MARISHA: I'm so glad we ended up keeping that.

ASHLEY: Me too, me too.

MARISHA: That was a good idea.

ASHLEY: It's already in--

SAM: Good job, good job.

LIAM: I'm sure that's put him at ease.

ASHLEY: It's already been worth it.

SAM: (laughs)

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN and LIAM: (laugh)

MATT: "All right, so you're Dreamers."

(laughter)

LIAM: It's going to take 10 minutes--

LAURA: I've got to seriously do this.

LIAM: -- to settle into this, Matt.

(lingering laughter)

TALIESIN: Dream to some, nightmare to others.

MATT: "Now look, I've been working in this Imperium for the majority of my life, and I'm no pushover. So, you brought in a dead Reiloran juggernaut. That's quite an impressive feat, I'd say so. But what's your business here? What are you doing? What do you want? What can we possibly offer you if you're powerful enough to traverse that weird red beam and just show up on my doorstep?"

LIAM: We don't know anything about this place. Your history, your lives, the differences between the folk that are here.

MATT: "Mm."

SAM: Yeah, you've been hearing and learning about us through our dreams, I guess, for a long time now, but we didn't even know you existed until just a few weeks ago.

LIAM: Yeah, you're a mystery to us and everyone.

MATT: "I always wondered if you, if any of our experiences got through to you like a trade, but I guess that's not how things work."

LAURA: Maybe for some people. I mean, obviously we don't speak for everyone on Exandria.

ASHLEY: How did you know you weren't dreaming your dreams? Because you know sometimes you have dreams, and you're like: I don't even know who I was, I don't even know where I was.

LAURA: Well, I don't know if they know that. Maybe they don't.

ASHLEY: Oh yeah.

MATT: "We're told at a very, very young age--"

ASHLEY: You're told.

MATT: "-- that's how things are. You know, when you've been dreaming for the majority of your life, and nothing in it seems to reflect your own personal life experiences, I don't know, it's as lonely as it is beautiful."

ASHLEY: (sympathetically) Oh.

LIAM: You maybe know about our world, then. You must.

MATT: "We have guesses. We have fables we tell. All manner of interesting interpretations that we spread between ourselves on cold nights, talk of theories, but even that's a dangerous route of conversation in public places these days."

SAM: Well, consider this an exchange of information, then. We'd love to learn about this place from you, and we'll answer any questions about our home.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we're not some rogue faction. We represent, actually, a much larger contingent of people that are against the Ruby Vanguard and everything they're doing up here, including the Imperium.

MATT: "Well, I cannot confirm or speak to any sort of disloyalty that I hold towards the Imperium."

LAURA: (laughs) Of course not.

ASHLEY: Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LAURA: We wouldn't expect you to.

SAM: Not outwardly.

MATT: "But I would be happy to give you some tea."

LAURA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Absolutely.

TALIESIN: I love tea.

LAURA: Please give us all the tea.

MARISHA: Spill the tea.

TRAVIS: I'm 400 years old, is he being literary? What does that mean?

ASHLEY: But also, I would love to try--

LIAM: Wait to see if he spills some.

ASHLEY: -- literal tea, because I'm sure it's something that we've never tried before.

MATT: "Let me go ahead and get another batch going."

ASHLEY: That sounds like something else is going on. That doesn't sound like just tea.

SAM: I feel like he's going to cut to commercial.

LAURA: I feel like he's about to--

(laughter)

TRAVIS: We'll be right back.

(laughter)

MATT: Lumbers back over to the table. You watch from underneath the robe, another secondary set of long, thin hands emerge--

TRAVIS: Oh, yeah, yeah!

MATT: -- and begin pulling and opening jars and shifting and taking bits of an odd dried loose leaf looking tea, and putting together a combination between multiple jars into--

SAM: Mm. A blend.

MATT: -- the base of this spiraling piece while looking over their shoulder, and you can see movement beneath the hood.

SAM: Oh, he's got one too?

LAURA: A cytaa. They all do.

SAM: A cytaa?

ASHLEY and LAURA: Cytaa?

LIAM: This is Elder Barta, correct?

TRAVIS: Bartha.

MATT: Barthie.

LIAM: Barthie?

SAM: Barthie.

LIAM: Barthie.

MATT: "So. You're just here to learn. Just on a mission of information to broaden your horizons, eh?"

TRAVIS: A little bit. How long have the Imperium, neither against nor for them, how long have they been exerting their influence over this area?

MATT: "The Imperium's been pushing around here for well over about 500 or so years."

LAURA: Wow.

TALIESIN: Wait, that's--

TRAVIS: A minute.

MARISHA: How long do your people usually live? How old are you? Not to be rude.

TRAVIS: Or morbid. Jesus.

MATT: "I stopped counting the real specifics when I hit about 300, so I've been around quite a while."

MARISHA: Oh.

LAURA: Yeah, that is--

SAM: Chetney!

TALIESIN: Were you here--

SAM: A peer!

TALIESIN: I mean-- According to our understanding of things, Rudius was not always here.

LAURA: Rudius.

TRAVIS: Rudius was not always here. I am just thrown.

LAURA: Rudy!

LAURA: No. Don't do it. Don't do it.

SAM: Don't do it! Don't do it!

TALIESIN: No.

MATT: Yeah.

SAM and MARISHA: (laugh)

LAURA: Don't do it.

ASHLEY: Oh, it's close to coming out of my mouth.

TALIESIN: I know, it just fucking--

MATT: It's okay. What were you saying?

LAURA: Sorry.

LIAM: Moving on.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Were you here when this happened? When the moon--

TRAVIS: Was formed? Hatched?

TALIESIN: -- happened? Yeah, that's our understanding is this place was created, it wasn't always here.

TRAVIS: That was like 800 years ago.

TALIESIN: Are there stories about it?

MATT: "No, I mean, as far as we understand, we've been here as long as it's been here, and it's always been here."

LIAM: What's your origin story?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LIAM: Your myths?

LAURA: That's a lot of questions.

MATT: "We were all carved from the very rock of this moon at the will of The One Who Sleeps, and shaped in to be reflections of the dreams that we were then given windows into, so."

LAURA: Wow.

MATT: "That's what we've been told for a long time."

LIAM: Is your history here oral history, or are there writings? Do you know?

MATT: "There were writings, but they've been mostly long destroyed."

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LIAM: By the Imperium?

MATT: "By the Weave Mind and their various communal sects."

LAURA: They have communal sex?

SAM: (laughs)

LIAM: This place is okay.

ASHLEY: Wait, this place is amazing. Where is that?

SAM: (laughs)

TALIESIN: We've learned so much.

TRAVIS: Intense fact-finding mission on the moon.

LAURA: Sorry.

TRAVIS: Intense fact-finding mission on the moon.

ASHLEY: Right, right, right. We can have a little fun, it's fine.

LIAM: Hold on, let this play out.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: We get dirty every week!

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Weird, wild stuff.

SAM: The Dreamers, to you, we've got to get it down to more specifics. But still, on a broader level, the Dreamers to you, we're not like gods or anything. We're just curiosities, interesting-- It seems like we're crucial to the sort of philosophy of this place, or religion?

MATT: "Up until as of late, and this is a point of contention in some of our more periphery societies, which, this would be considered one by some of the more civilized folk. We looked up to that great, beautiful blue ball in the sky as the eventual afterlife we'd go to, and the dreams that we see of the Dreamers, the spirits that give us visions of what would await us. Then they started walking through here in recent weeks. There's been a bit of a crisis of faith, I guess you could say."

LAURA: Understandably.

TALIESIN: Were we like ghosts, or just walking through physically?

LAURA: No, this is people coming to visit.

TALIESIN: This is definitely people coming.

LAURA: This is Ludinus.

TALIESIN: Yeah. Damn.

TRAVIS: The Weave Mind, in your 300 years, have you ever interfaced with the Weave Mind? Communicated with, seen?

MATT: "I certainly hope not, and if I have, maybe I can't remember."

TRAVIS: Mm.

TALIESIN: Oh.

MATT: "The Weave Mind is a council of extremely old and powerful Reiloran mystics that themselves act as a conduit to the mind of The One Who Sleeps. They're the ones that usher the flares. They're the ones that control the city. They're the ones that tell us the design that we must follow, and if we speak up, we become fairly pliable rapid afterwards."

LAURA: Wow.

TALIESIN: Wow.

ASHLEY: The One Who Sleeps. What do you all call The One Who Sleeps? Just The One Who Sleeps, or is there a name?

MATT: "We colloquially refer to it as The One Who Sleeps. That's what most of the mythology is based around. I've had a few conversations with friends who live in various places around here, closer to the main city, and there's a few other names. They refer to it as the beating heart. They refer to it as the Dreamkeeper. They keep a specific name that is not to be said publicly under fear of Imperium questioning, torture, or disappearance, and that is--"

ASHLEY: Does it start with a P?

MATT: "I think you know the name already."

LAURA: Do your--

SAM: Penis.

LAURA: -- lore, do your stories ever talk about what would happen if The One Who Sleeps were to wake?

MATT: He looks over at Dono, who's wide-eyed, listening to all of this, and goes, "Most folks that live outside of Kreviris, they live simple lives with simple interests and simple beliefs. At a certain point, the complication becomes a challenging decision point. It's easier to just ignore it and go with what feels right and natural. That ignorance is comfortable. But the belief is that these dreams are promises. That one day, we'd all be able to step away from this harsh land and step over to where the Dreamers are."

TALIESIN: (exhales heavily)

LAURA: I want you to be able to do that. Not in the afterlife, but in this one. There's a path. It goes both ways.

MATT: "I worry if most of our folk are even ready for such a transition. Maybe there's some who are, but we've got some sociological challenges here on our home world."

LIAM: It would be a strange awakening for folks back where we come from, to know about all this.

MATT: "Well, we've seen a lot of what you all seem to be dreaming of. The colors and spellbinding majesties that surround you, the endless rolling mountain-scapes and winding river-falls. So much wanton bloodshed. To be honest, I'm not certain it's all that's been promised to us either, but I also can't deny that I have a distinct curiosity, so."

LIAM: Well, it's not all bad. Orym will start growing, over the next 30 seconds or so, different blooms that are specific, any colors that I have not seen present on this world or in this room that would seem rare or unusual to Barthie, and I'll start laying them on the ground in front of them.

MARISHA: Laudna gets out a handful of ball bearings, puts those on the ground, too.

MATT: (metallic clanging and rolling)

ASHLEY: Yeah, those are very rare.

SAM: The floor isn't level here.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Of all the things you were going to pull out of your pocket, that was so low on my list of possibilities.

LAURA: Telekinetically pulling the ball bearings back together so they form a little pile.

LIAM: Like a magnet.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: As we were traveling in, we noticed that this area seems to have a fair amount of agriculture. Looks like you're working the land and livestock. What are those bloody buffalo called?

SAM: Wuukors.

TRAVIS: Wuukors! Can I ask what you produce here and what the Reiloran want with it?

MATT: "Well, we're one of a number of outposts, you could call them, once sovereign villages that are part of the Imperium and have been for generations. We are capable and well-versed in turning the land into livable space. We gather materials that are edible. We train beasts and use them for their meat, their hides, their milk, use them to carry and build. We have a special connection with many beasts of the land here, in some ways, ones the Reilorans do not, so we're useful."

LIAM: You were impressed by the, you said juggernaut's head that came out of our bag. How copacetic are things between you and the Reiloran who are here?

MATT: "Well, many of us do what we've always done and don't want to cause any sort of trouble. So, there's many that are friends, many who are just trying to get by like the rest of us. Then there are those that come over here from Kreviris and carry the will of the Weave Mind and the Dominion, any of the various politicians of The Tectus and just tell us what we have to do and how soon we have to do it."

LIAM: Politicians of The Tectus, you said?

SAM: Mm-hmm.

MATT: "Yes."

LIAM: Okay.

SAM: The Tectus.

LAURA: What's The Tectus?

SAM: Is that in the Dominion of Cooth?

MATT: "Dominion of Cruth is their military wing."

SAM: Cruth.

MATT: "That's where many of these more militaristic watchguards come from."

TALIESIN: Krevirig is possibly where we would find them.

TRAVIS: The Reilorans have always been here as long as the bormodos have?

MATT: "We've all carved together at the same time in history."

MARISHA: Are there any other--

TRAVIS: Peoples?

MARISHA: -- peoples? Or is it just the Reilorans and the--

SAM: Bonobos.

MARISHA: Bonobo, the bonobos.

MATT: (laughs)

SAM: The bormodos.

ASHLEY: The Boromirs?

LIAM: Bormodos.

TRAVIS: The Boromirs.

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: The Bor-- All of them.

TALIESIN: Bormond.

MATT: "There are a number of different folks that live all throughout the layers of Ruidus."

SAM: Layer? Layers?

MATT: "Kreviris is, only the top half of the city is really visible here in the landscape, much of it. Much of the societies before even myself are carved through the moon."

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: "That's where most of the farming takes place, see? The topsoil farmers like us, we work under the harshest of conditions. Now, the subterranean fungal farmer network, that's where the majority of the society's food comes from."

ASHLEY: Wow.

LAURA: Are there any openings to the subterranean--

TRAVIS: What did you call it? What kind of network?

MATT: "The fungal network."

TRAVIS: Fungal.

LIAM: How far-reaching?

SAM: Fungal network.

ASHLEY: I mean, fungal networks are pretty spectacular.

SAM: We have those where we're from, too.

MATT: "I assumed that might be the case."

LAURA: How do you get down there?

MATT: "Well, you have to venture through any of the various Krevirian gates, the majority of which are within the capital city."

LAURA: The actual city, okay.

MATT: "Most others have been closed and prevented from being as easily accessible."

LIAM: So none around these parts.

TALIESIN: Things being what they are. No.

MATT: "Not anymore."

ASHLEY: So where do they say that the Dreamkeeper sleeps? Just in the center of this moon?

MATT: "That's what we've assumed for a long time. They've said it sits as the beating heart--"

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: "-- of the land."

SAM: We've asked you so many questions. We have a few more.

LAURA, SAM, and LIAM: (laugh)

MATT: "Can I ask you some questions, actually?"

SAM: Oh, yeah, yeah. Go ahead, go ahead.

ASHLEY: Sure, sure, sure. Yeah.

MATT: "What does... What does a pastry taste like?"

SAM: (gasps)

LAURA: Oh my gosh.

TALIESIN: Oh boy.

LAURA: Oh! We have some. Do you want to show him one?

SAM: We do, actually. I baked some this morning. Then we also probably have some in the bag.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

SAM: Yeah, whip them out.

LAURA: Do you want to try one of these? Pass him one of the those.

MATT: "Are you serious? You have some with you? That's amazing. I wasn't expecting something quite so immediately available."

LAURA: You never used to have those kind.

TRAVIS: We're Dreamers!

TALIESIN: I knew those things would be in the bag of holding.

TRAVIS: What are we good for if we're not a Dreamer?

LIAM: Do you taste in your dreams?

MATT: "What we assume might be." The small hands reach out, and as one of them grabs an element of the baked good--

LIAM: Oh my god.

TRAVIS: Eat it in character. Eat it in character! (grunts)

(laughter)

MATT: Right as he grabs it, something lightning fast leaps from underneath--

LAURA: (gasps) No!

MATT: -- the bead-dangled hood and shawl that sits over the elder's shoulders, and you see a larger cytaa with with this curved tail that curls up from the back into a tight spiral. Reaches out and grabs it and pulls it back and starts munching on it rapidly. The elder goes, "What, you-- You need to stop and share there! Sorry, Chu's a very--"

LAURA: Chu.

MARISHA: Chu! (laughs)

MATT: "-- uppity entity."

(laughter)

SAM: Oh!

TRAVIS: Yes, let's go.

MARISHA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Let's go, Chu!

TRAVIS: Shout out Chu.

MARISHA: Chu!

MATT: After a bit of a--

SAM: What's up, Chu?

ASHLEY: What's up, Chu?

MATT: -- a bit of a crackling bite, gnawing on this leftover piece of baked good, passes it over to the elder and looks back at the rest of you. (Chu) "Okay, so what you doing here? What's the plan?"

LAURA: Oh! You can talk!

SAM: Wait!

MATT: "You're just coming in here and bothering me and the elder?"

SAM: You can talk?

MATT: "I heard everything you said! I heard every single thing you've said, and I'm not convinced that you're not a severe danger to all of us!"

TRAVIS: That's very fair.

(murmured understanding)

MARISHA: Honestly, we could be.

TRAVIS: We're welcome and open to questions.

SAM: Chu's a little bit of a dick!

(laughs)

MARISHA: The cytaa--

LIAM: Do the cytaa--

MARISHA: You all seem to be a little saucy.

LIAM: -- also dream?

LAURA: Oh my gosh! Do you dream?

ASHLEY: Oh yeah. Do you--

LIAM: Do cytaa dream as well?

MATT: "We all dream here. What, you think you're special?"

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Well, we're here to answer--

LIAM: Sometimes.

TRAVIS: -- your questions. How can we put your mind at ease?

MATT: "(sighs) What are your plans when you get to the capital city?"

(laughter)

TALIESIN: See a show, see the sights.

LAURA: We're just planning--

SAM: Right now we're just--

LAURA: -- one short day there.

SAM: Right now, we're just scouting. Obviously, people that we are working with and trying to protect might want to do more than just scout on another visit, but right now we just want to know the layout. Where things are, who runs it, if there's any easy way in or out.

LAURA: There's some really terrible people right now on Exandria that are trying to do some stuff with your Dreamkeeper, and we're trying to keep that from happening.

MATT: "You promise you're not here to hurt Barthie? Hm?"

ASHLEY: No.

LAURA: No, definitely.

TALIESIN: No.

MARISHA: Of course not.

LAURA: We promise that.

ASHLEY: Unless he tries to hurt us.

SAM: Okay.

ASHLEY: Okay? So.

MARISHA: I mean this with no offense. If we wanted to hurt Barthie, we would have done it by now.

MATT: "(crunches)"

MARISHA: Okay.

ASHLEY: Do you like your pastry?

SAM: It's good, right?

ASHLEY: Do you like it?

MATT: "It's really good."

(laughter)

LIAM: The beings that are causing problems for you all here, they're doing the same thing up on the blue ball, and we just know so little about them. We're really just trying to understand.

MATT: "Things are real tough here. They have been for a long time. Aren't they supposed to be better on the other side?"

LAURA: They're supposed to be, I guess.

LIAM: They're supposed to be.

SAM: The grass is always redder.

MATT: "Well, just positing, if you don't mind me, Elder, speaking out of turn here."

TRAVIS: Jeez.

SAM: (laughs)

MATT: "What if maybe this is a good thing for us? What if after all this time, this is the opportunity for us to become the Dreamers we were always meant to be?"

LAURA: That's what I was saying!

ASHLEY: Yeah, I like this.

LAURA: If we could find a way for y'all, whoever wants to, to come across that bridge, I'd be all for it.

TALIESIN: More than all for it.

MATT: You see the elder's about to speak up before Chu goes, "Uh-uh. Not done with my point. Given all the dreams we've had--"

(laughter)

MATT: "-- you think these Exandrian folks are going to be just eager to welcome us with open arms?"

SAM: Well, technically, this whole place was from Exandria.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

SAM: So in a way, we're all, not me, but they're all kin of yours.

MATT: "Where's your proof?"

LIAM: That's a--

MATT: "Who's to say Exandria didn't come from us, huh?"

SAM: Oh. Well, that's true. Our legends could be false.

LAURA: 100%.

TALIESIN: If you're asking if there are pieces of shit and you're asking if there are pieces of shit who control some shit down there, yes, absolutely, of course. It will be hard. People will be shitty, but we have plenty of good people. Plenty of people who would love to fucking meet you and--

LAURA: To fuck and meet you.

TALIESIN: Well, both. We're special that way.

LAURA: I'm sorry. I don't know what is wrong with me.

TALIESIN: I know.

ASHLEY: It's fine, it's fine.

SAM: (laughs)

LIAM: Well, they have open sex here.

ASHLEY: It's fine because, you know.

MARISHA: It's an impulse.

SAM: Communal.

MARISHA: There's zero impulse control.

LAURA: Bombarded with all these thoughts all the time!

TALIESIN: A lot happens.

ASHLEY: You might as well give it a go. You never know what you're going to like.

MATT: (Barthie) "That's true. Your folk are quite perverted. We've noticed over the generations."

LAURA: I know!

LIAM: Right now, the exchange program is just not really that friendly.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LIAM: So we'd like to improve that, if we can.

LAURA: Yeah. There's nice people and there are definitely people that would treat you poorly.

MARISHA: I guess I'm a bit--

LAURA: Everybody's unique. I'm sorry, Laudna.

MARISHA: -- confused, though. You're connected to the Dreamkeeper through the Weave, and the Reilorans make you all peek in on our dreams. Why? To what end? Does it feed The One Who Sleeps?

MATT: "Not really certain myself. It's just kind of how it's always been."

MARISHA: Okay. If The One Who Sleeps were to ever wake up, (laughs nervously) what would that mean?

MATT: "I think it's a little beyond my purview, but I bet it'd be real interesting."

MARISHA: Do you think you would cease to exist? Would you still have a purpose?

MATT: "Well, I'd like to think we'd still be around."

TRAVIS: Yeah, don't be dark, jesus. I have a question for Chu.

MARISHA: He said we might be made up of dreams. I might not be real. I'm having a mild existential crisis.

TRAVIS: Get it together. We're guests here.

LIAM: They're pretty big questions, though. That's like asking us what happens if the gods are gone. We don't know.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Hey, Chu.

MATT: (Chu) "The bushy rat-man wants my attention. What you want, boy?"

TRAVIS: Bushy rat-man.

(laughs)

TALIESIN: Nickname finally sticks!

TRAVIS: I like it.

TALIESIN: Yes! Been waiting for one.

ASHLEY: Rat-man.

SAM: That'd be quite a name.

TALIESIN: Bushy rat-man.

TRAVIS: Since you seem to be in charge around here--

MATT: "Thank you."

TRAVIS: -- I was curious, are there any areas either within your outpost or just generally that are forbidden, we are not allowed to go, where travel is restricted, prohibited, or that you might be destroyed upon entering?

MATT: "Well, we have free rein of the open plains here 'cause we're plainsfolk here in the moon."

TALIESIN: Mm.

MATT: "But we have to make sure that we have proper escorts when we're in the capital city or anyone who travels through. Most everything has some sort of an Imperial guard keeping watch. So as long as your businesses is front-facing and you're honest about it, then you'll be fine."

TRAVIS: Is there protected entry into Kreviris?

MATT: "There's gates."

TRAVIS: Gates.

MATT: "There's walkways, and I'm certain there's probably all sorts of interesting ways to stumble in on accident and get thrown into prison!"

TRAVIS: Ooh!

LIAM: You got any tips or tricks? Heard any rumors?

TALIESIN: Not for getting thrown into prison, but for not getting--

LIAM: For avoiding that stuff.

TALIESIN: Avoiding all of that.

LIAM: Also, are all cytaas sassy as you or is it just you?

MATT: (laughs) (Barthie) "Oh, they're-- Chu's a very special cytaa. She's definitely a firecracker."

TRAVIS: (laughs)

ASHLEY: I like her.

TALIESIN: Mm.

MATT: (Chu) "I don't trust them."

LAURA: (laughs)

LIAM and ASHLEY: (laugh)

LIAM: By the way, I've sized them both up over the past five minutes. Are their total levels lower than Orym's?

MATT: Oh yeah.

LIAM: Okay. Okay.

TRAVIS: (squishy squash)

MATT: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Oh! I noticed on the way here that--

MARISHA: Oh my god, Fraggles.

ASHLEY: -- your trade square is a little beaten down. Do you not use it anymore?

MATT: (Barthie) "Oh, we just, we have certain times that we open business here when there's large caravans. We're supposed to have one coming through here soon, but it hasn't arrived yet so it's in a docile waiting period."

ASHLEY: Was it supposed to be here already kind of a thing?

MATT: "It's a bit delayed."

ASHLEY: Oh. Okay.

MARISHA: Aside from more Imperial presence since the big blue ball and your moon got sucked together, has there been anything else that's been a little weird, a little horky dorky?

TRAVIS: (laughs)

LIAM: That's a good one.

ASHLEY: (laughs)

MATT: "Well, the arrival of folks like you and other Dreamers walking through here has been rather odd. There's been a lot of unique equipment that's been dragged through here as part of these Imperial caravans from the large red spooky beam. Looks like the Blue Promise, as they call it, the world you're from, has just stopped turning."

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: (Chu) "Of course it stopped turning! It's been a disk this whole time!" (Barthie) "That is incorrect, and I think you are upsetting our friends that come from there!"

SAM: A disk the whole time, you said?

MATT: (Chu) "Yeah."

TALIESIN: Oh no.

MATT: "You would know if you're from there, unless you're not and you're lying."

SAM: You're right. Maybe I'm not from there. Maybe that's how I have this secret knowledge.

TRAVIS: Oh god.

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: It's a sphere! A sphere!

LAURA: Why would you say that, Chu?

SAM: I like Chu.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: And then there were two.

(laughter)

SAM: We should start a club of some sort.

LAURA: How far away is Kreviris from here?

MATT: (Barthie) "Kreviris is a few days' travel."

LAURA: Oh shit.

TALIESIN: Well--

MATT: "There's a few-- A few Reiloran checkpoints you got to get through as well, depending. Some of the landscape just north of here tends to get a bit sticky, so you want to make sure to stick to the approved Imperial lanes otherwise you start getting into worm territory and--"

SAM: Oh.

TRAVIS: Worm?

TALIESIN: No.

TRAVIS: What do you mean, worm?

SAM: Lunar worms.

MATT: "Bane worms are our biggest threat out here."

SAM: Bane worms! Sounds amazing!

LAURA: Bane worms. I heard bean worms. I was like, okay, cute.

MARISHA: Bean worms!

ASHLEY: They're no big deal.

LIAM: (like Bane) Worms!

LAURA: Just little bean worms!

SAM: (laughs)

LAURA: Bane worms.

TRAVIS: How could you?

ASHLEY: (like Bane) Oh!

SAM: (like Bane) Oh! How do folks normally travel? Is it via wuukor or is it some other means? How could we travel and not rouse suspicion?

MATT: Looks down at Chu, and Chu's giving this pouty-looking face. "Don't you do it. "Don't you do it."

SAM: We can be trusted.

MATT: "It's going to bite you in the ass!" He's like, "I have a few friends, I think, that might be of interest for you to talk to, if you're heading that way."

SAM: Is this like a biker gang or something, or--?

MATT: "Don't know what that is, but I'm going to say probably."

SAM: Oh, sure. Yeah, I guess they wouldn't know about that. I wouldn't know what that is.

TRAVIS: No bikes on the moon, idiot.

MARISHA: Crawler gangs. It would be Crawler gangs.

SAM: Crawler gang, yeah.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: "So. Things have been pretty intense as of late. The Imperium has been demanding double yields and supplies in preparation for this event, something big on the horizon that they're all riled up on. They sent the Willmaster Edmuda to come and enforce their will upon this village."

SAM: Helmuda?

MATT: Edmuda.

MARISHA: Edmuda?

SAM: Edmuda.

TRAVIS: Willmaster Edmuda?

MATT: "Edmuda is a particularly cruel being, a high ranking enforcer for the Dominion recruits disciplinary division."

LAURA: Oh shit.

MATT: "Known as The Will."

SAM and LAURA: (whisper) The Will.

MATT: "She's an unassuming Reiloran with a terrifyingly penetrating mind. Definitely try not to call too much attention. The one thing the Cruth's also trying to snuff out are friends of the Volition."

SAM: Volition!

LAURA: Mm!

SAM: That's the goodies!

MARISHA: Are they good ones? Are they good ones?

SAM: Wait, we've heard that name before, haven't we?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "Volition is what you might call a generational resistance against the Imperium." You see there's a nervousness to his eyes as he's looking towards the windows and his voice grows a little more hushed. "I'm not sure where they're based, but there've been a number of attacks at and under Kreviris that shows that there's been ramping up combat around the swells of Imperium activity. So I imagine their base operations isn't too far from the capital city itself."

SAM: You don't know exactly where?

MATT: "No, but I've had a longtime friend of mine that comes through on occasion to do some trading. It's a glassmith who has an affiliation with the Volition."

SAM: Oh!

MATT: "Occasionally looks for a place to hide when they're passing through and things get hairy. Her name is Zhesh."

SAM: Zhesh.

MATT: "A reformed Shrike once under the Imperium."

ASHLEY: A reformed what?

MARISHA: Shrike.

LAURA: It's a type of Reiloran.

MATT: "She might be able to help you if you can find her."

MARISHA: You said, you're expecting traders to come through. Would she be with them?

MATT: "I mean, it's certainly possible. We have to look in if they make themselves known, hopefully in the next day or two."

SAM: Oh. They come by in the dead of night to visit you, or--?

MATT: "Usually not in the dead of night, but unless they're close enough where it's safer for them to come and roost up for the evening. But it's been a few days overdue."

LAURA: Usually they come through, pop by for a few hours and keep on going?

MATT: "There's been a lot of supply drops from running to and from the capital to where the beam is."

LAURA: Right.

MATT: "They built an encampment or something there."

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LAURA: Oh yeah.

MATT: "Yeah."

LAURA: They'd be heading back to the capital?

SAM: Or their headquarters?

MATT: "They go either direction. The caravan was supposed to be coming from Crevaris."

LAURA: Got it.

MATT: "So I imagine it'd be making its way out to that base."

LAURA: Got it.

ASHLEY: Did you know about the sky? How it's like a magical weave?

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: "Don't think I follow."

ASHLEY: Oh.

SAM: Well, yeah, the weave. Is it still there?

LAURA: I think it is.

TRAVIS: You mean the cloudy wall at the distance?

SAM: The Divine Gate?

ASHLEY: The magical weave that was around it?

TRAVIS: Oh, you mean the lattice work.

MARISHA and LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: The lattice work, yeah.

LAURA: It's still there?

SAM: Is it visible from here?

TRAVIS: I don't think when we look up, we see it, though.

MATT: You haven't really focused too hard on it, but you can still see the network of leylines across Exandria in the far distance if you focus hard enough. You haven't taken a moment to look for it, it's that moment of going, "Huh, I don't think we've seen it yet."

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Might not be here.

LIAM: The Divine Gate and the lattice work is metaphysical, right? That's not...

LAURA: No, we can see it. We saw it.

ASHLEY: Maybe it's over that way.

SAM: From the telescope we saw it.

LAURA: Maybe it's over that one, just the city.

LIAM: So looking into space?

LAURA and TRAVIS: Yeah.

TRAVIS: It was covering the moon.

LIAM: The magical fey lens allowed us to see it, but not with the naked eye.

TALIESIN: No.

LIAM: Look up at the sky and see it.

TRAVIS: I could use this monocle.

LAURA: Yeah, the monocle!

MARISHA: Yeah, it was with that green lens that we got from Nana Morri.

TRAVIS: I'm not going to waste it on that.

MARISHA: Also, just as a reminder, above the table talk, Ira is here somewhere.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I was thinking that, and also we should probably check the magic "Are we being followed ball" again pretty soon?

MARISHA: I pull it out right now.

MATT: Nothing there.

TRAVIS: Should we set up an ambush for this caravan?

SAM: Wait, they're the good guys.

LAURA: The caravan?

TRAVIS: So are we.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: I'm going to say it in our heads. Should we ask about Ludinus and what's her face?

SAM and LAURA: Otohan?

ASHLEY: Otohan.

LAURA: I mean, we can try, but I don't know if he's... Maybe they passed by here.

SAM: Can we show them images?

TALIESIN: What would they even know?

ASHLEY: Do you-- do you ever--

LAURA: Do you have a way to do that?

MARISHA: I can, yeah.

ASHLEY: I mean, I don't know how that would help us.

SAM: Yeah, I mean, maybe if they've seen them walking through.

TRAVIS: Do it.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: I will do a--

TRAVIS: (whispers) Minor Illusion.

MARISHA: -- Minor Illusion, thank you. That's the name of the spell.

TRAVIS: I'll do the other one.

MARISHA: Oh, and okay. I'll do Ludinus and Chet will do Otohan.

SAM: Have you seen these people?

MARISHA: Have you seen this person?

LIAM: Help us, Elder Barthie, you're our only hope.

MATT: (laughs) "Indeed, we've definitely made contact with these individuals from a distance. It's been quite a few weeks, but they did come through with the initial wave of Dreamers that stepped upon our land."

ASHLEY: How often do they come here?

MATT: "Oh, we haven't seen them in particular for a long time. There's been other droves of Dreamers wearing the same robes y'all are wearing and very few coming through to say many words."

TALIESIN: How about someone who wasn't? I suppose if we're here we should ask about Ira.

ASHLEY: Yes.

TALIESIN: Big, spindly. If someone wants to conjure something, I'm going to--

MARISHA: I'll switch my illusion to Ira.

TALIESIN: Pull out the mask.

MATT: "It doesn't ring a bell, unfortunately. Kind of a weird looking fella."

MARISHA: He is.

TALIESIN: Yes.

TRAVIS: You said you had to triple your production for some big event on the horizon. Do you know why they need what you make?

MATT: "Never really questioned it."

TRAVIS: Is the production of the meat and the hide and the milk and all the things that you said, or is that what you live off of? What are they interested in you producing so much of?

MATT: "Supplies, probably to feed or clothe or armor. They've certainly been looking for an accelerated rate of training avidan."

ASHLEY: Building an army.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Supplies.

MARISHA: Well.

SAM: Should we go to sleep?

TALIESIN: I think we can make our way further in, if this... They're coming from the gate or the...

SAM: They're coming from the city, so we stop here.

MATT: I may have misspoke. My intent was they're heading towards the city. They're heading from them.

LAURA: Got it.

MATT: That's on me. My brain switched it.

SAM: So we should be here to meet them.

MARISHA: Yeah, we should--

LAURA: Meet them and ride with them.

LIAM: What you meant was beam to city?

MATT: Beam to city is what I meant. That's on me.

LIAM: No worries.

MARISHA: So, you're saying the traders are coming here?

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: From the beam. Then we can the hitch a ride with the caravan--

SAM: To the rebel base.

LAURA: Exactly.

MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: If they like us.

LAURA: The caravan is with the Volition? Or they're just suppliers?

MATT: "The caravan's Imperium, but my contact does often travel with the caravan, and I can't guarantee they're even with this one."

LAURA: Right.

MATT: "That's who they travel with on occasion to get through the city."

LIAM: So, in theory, we'd be traveling with folk that are not necessarily friendly to us, but there is a potential friendly within their ranks?

MATT: "That's certainly possible."

MARISHA: Is there any way you can get in contact with Zhesh? See where she might be?

MATT: "I don't really have a means of doing so. She just occasionally wanders through."

LAURA: What does Zhesh look like?

SAM: We could do Sending.

LAURA: That's what I would try.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: "She's a lithe looking Reiloran with a slightly faded purple-gray tint to her body. Her crest has a large cloven mark on the right side from some previous scuffle."

LAURA: Do you have anything that belongs to her?

SAM: (obnoxious scuffling)

MARISHA: Oh, Jesus Christ.

TRAVIS: Only in our show.

(laughter)

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: "I am."

LIAM: You must be fun at the theater.

MATT: "I have some recovered sub glass over here," and walks over to a cabinet and reaches up and-- (grunts) "Okay, great. You mind?" You watch as Chu clamors with the arm and goes, "Sure, yeah, I'll do whatever you ask. Don't worry, skit." Grabs it right down.

(laughter)

MATT: "Here's your glass shard, Master." (Barthie) "She's just showing off because we got company. She's very sweet." (Chu) "You shut up!"

SAM: (laughs)

MATT: You've seen bits of this glass used in the landscape and some of the construction for the walls, for various structures, pillars, and some elements of it you think you may have seen in some of the chasms and stuff with landscape. But this is a piece of oddly naturally bending almost like a turquoise obsidian.

ASHLEY: Oh!

LAURA: Cool.

LIAM: So like a blue tinged black?

MATT: Yeah. Well, a blue green coloration, but the texture and edges of it are very obsidian flake-like.

LAURA: That's cool.

ASHLEY: Is it opaque? Is it clear? Can you see through it?

MATT: It's semi-opaque. You can see through it for the color, but it isn't a perfect clear glass.

LIAM: That's in contrast to reddish earth everywhere.

MATT: Right.

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: Woo, pretty.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

ASHLEY: That's pretty.

LAURA: Oh, that's what I saw! That's what I saw! That stone. I saw that in my vision when I was--

ASHLEY: Going down?

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: Right, when you were going down through the layers.

MATT: "This is the glass of the land. It gives a particular strength to a number of wonderful tools and implements throughout, and Zhesh is a master glass shaper."

SAM: Oh.

MATT: "So, Zhesh is a talented crafter, and that is her trade and where she travels along and has..." Looks out the windows again. "Been very instrumental in providing some very important utility to the Volition, of which I am not a member."

SAM: (laughs)

ASHLEY: So, I have another question.

MATT: "Yes?"

ASHLEY: So when these Reiloran masters, when they usher in the flares, why do they do that?

MATT: "I can't rightly tell you. That's Weave Mind business. All I know is it's been quite often in recent decades and we've all assumed it was leading to either some terrifying cataclysm or maybe others feel it's a great miracle in the horizon above."

LAURA: Maybe it's all bullshit and they can't control it at all.

MATT: "Also very possible, but also a little scary when you think about it. I'm old enough where it doesn't, shrugs off my shoulders relatively easily."

LIAM: More frequent in the last few decades, but did it happen at all before then?

MATT: "It did, it did."

TRAVIS: It's bright where we are. Is it just fucking the whole ground starts to glow?

MATT: You see this odd smile curl across his face. "I hope you get to see one while you're here because it is quite a sight."

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

MARISHA: Whoa.

TRAVIS: (explosion booms)

MARISHA: Whoa.

ASHLEY: What do you guys think of Catha?

(laughter)

SAM: Softball league?

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, at The Greek. Good band.

LAURA: That was fun.

MATT: "Catha, I assume, is the white moon counterpart to the Blue Promise that you--"

ASHLEY: Yes, maybe you have a different name for it.

MATT: "-- speak of as Exandria. A beautiful, soulful, lonely, white entity. We've always looked up to this white, beautiful pearlescent twin to where the Dreamers dream. It's like a solitary mirror. Some believe maybe it's where the good dreams go to be kept. Others think it's where the bad dreams go to die and are left to become silt and dust. Others... it's a symbol of what happens if we don't focus on the things that we want to accomplish, and we too will be left there in endless darkness, alone and pale."

TRAVIS: Jeez.

ASHLEY: Oh.

LIAM: Have we seen Catha in the sky since we've arrived?

MATT: I'd say you've seen a little bit of Catha, a little bit of that curling just beyond when you first got here and now it's out on the open space.

LIAM: Cool.

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: So-- above table talk again, the Weave Masters--

MATT: Weave Mind.

MARISHA: The Weave Mind usher the flares? Did you say what that looks like?

SAM: It's just bright.

LAURA: Those are the Ruidian flares.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: But yeah, we don't know what they look like on the surface.

TRAVIS: Because I asked if it was like (booms)

MARISHA: Yeah.

LIAM: They've been doing it a lot lately, which is their fuckery, which is whatever their big dick plan is.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Did you say what happens to them when the flares happen?

SAM: The Weave Mind, you mean?

MARISHA: The people.

TRAVIS: He didn't say.

MATT: You can ask.

MARISHA: Okay, I wanted to make sure I wasn't retreading territory.

MATT: No, it wasn't clarified.

MARISHA: Yeah, so I ask: When these flares happen, when they usher in flares, what does that do to you all mentally?

MATT: "Well, a flare, as you call them, we refer to them as a beat. It's the beat of the heart of The One Who Sleeps. In these moments, the land alights with a vibrant near-blinding red hue and a euphoric unified dream washes over all of us."

LAURA: What's the dream?

MATT: "It's not experiential. It's the closest I could experience to spiritual. It feels connected. like something-- Any sort of loneliness you felt suddenly cast away for a moment."

LAURA: Oh.

TALIESIN: Oh.

ASHLEY: That sounds--

LAURA: Oh.

SAM: You feel connected to everyone on this world? On Ruidus? Or feel connected to people? The Dreamers?

ASHLEY: Wait, what? What?

MATT: "I don't know. Maybe? Maybe."

LAURA: In your head, I'll say to the group. If a flare happens, there might be a way for Predathos to pull people, get control. That sounds very much like when I reach out to him, that's what I feel. It's hard to fight. The flares might--

SAM: Oh, like it binds them to him?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LAURA: Yeah, under his control. If we're here when that happens, that'd probably be pretty rough.

MATT: You also do know from the lore that you've acquired and the knowledge that you've both learned of your past that the Ruidusborn are those that are born under a flare. Historically, through all of Exandria's history, since the flare's been spoken of, that's what the Ruidusborn-- That's where the Ruidusborn started.

ASHLEY: I actually have a question. Another one.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Sorry, I don't know why I started with that, because I'll probably have more. When people are born here during a flare, does that mean anything?

MATT: "Generally, it means it's a rude awakening when they come to from the reverie, but, it's just considered a cause of celebration."

ASHLEY: Wow.

MARISHA: Not to get graphic, but you mentioned you're all carved from Exandria. Do you-- Are babies--

SAM: Are babies?

MARISHA: Are babies? Do you babies?

ASHLEY: Good question, actually.

MATT: "We babies, I suppose."

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: "A little curious, this question you're putting forward."

MARISHA: You're, like, born?

LAURA: Where do babies come from?

ASHLEY: As you were, saying, you come--

SAM: How do you fuck?

ASHLEY: I understand.

MATT: "We've seen many of your dreams. If that's what you're asking, yes, it's not too dissimilar."

ASHLEY: I know you were saying you were made from rock. Do your babies come out of your bodies?

SAM: Come out of your p--

ASHLEY: Or do you come out of a rock?

SAM: What were you going to say?

ASHLEY: How do you conceive? How do you all have kids?

SAM: What's your favorite sexual position?

(laughter)

MATT: The elder takes a step back with a curious brow twist as Chu goes, "Yeah, why don't you tell them? Tell them all about it! Give them all the info they want!" (Barthie) "Not dissimilar to how I'm sure you also give birth."

ASHLEY: Okay, carry on.

MATT: "We're living, breathing beings."

MARISHA: Okay, all right, yes.

TALIESIN: Is there anyone who thinks that the flares are the Sleeper being listless, waking for a moment, just being on the edge of wakefulness?

MATT: "There are those who might believe that. There's all sorts of strange, philosophical takes on these goings on. There's the classic mythology, and then there's those who have their own ideas. Having your own idea can be a little dangerous these days."

TALIESIN: I'm getting that.

MATT: "It's not discussed often."

ASHLEY: Maybe, if the Weave Mind is ushering in the flares, maybe it's like they're trying to pump them up.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm, yes.

ASHLEY: Ga-goosh, wake it up.

LAURA: Also, it could be--

ASHLEY: Those electric things.

LAURA: Ruidusborn are born under the flare. Maybe they're trying to create more and more people of the Dreamkeeper, people that they can recruit into the army.

MARISHA: That's interesting.

LIAM: You've dreamed about us. Have you dreamed about our gods?

MATT: "We've seen the symbols. We take it as your mythology, as we have our own. We think your interpretations of miracles are very beautiful."

(chuckling)

LAURA: Cute.

TALIESIN: That's impressive.

TRAVIS: You've been very patient with our questions.

LAURA: A lot.

ASHLEY: Thank you.

TRAVIS: Before we leave, because we are going to take a run at this Kreviris place and roll the dice a little bit, is there anything that we can take care of for you here in the outpost? Anyone you want us to rough up or disappear?

MATT: You hear Chu go, "(laughs) So it seems they've revealed their true intent! Looks like they're a bunch of thugs coming through here to just knife some of the locals. I like them even more now."

SAM: Or we could just gather some materials that you need.

MATT: (Barthie) "If I could--"

LAURA and SAM: ♪ Turn back time ♪

TRAVIS: Wow.

MARISHA: Holy shit, wow.

TRAVIS: That was not enough for you both to do that at the same time.

MATT: Wow!

TRAVIS: Not nearly enough.

LIAM: It's also the wrong campaign.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Jeez.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: ♪ If I could find a way ♪

(laughter)

SAM: Give us three minutes.

MATT: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll come back to you guys after the break. "To be perfectly honest, I'm certainly very curious about many facets of your cultures and your lived experiences. I'm cur-- Have you ever been to a place called--"

SAM: Taste of Tal'Dorei?

MATT: "-- A Taste of Tal'Dorei?"

LAURA: I knew it! I knew it! We actually have.

TALIESIN: Quite a few times.

ASHLEY: Yes.

LAURA: Wait!

MATT: "It looks like a raucous time."

ASHLEY: It is.

SAM: How many people dream about Taste of Tal'Dorei on a regular basis?

MATT: " I mean, more than you'd think. It tends to be a recurring event. All manner of celebrations around. There's something about that that's just-- I don't know." (laughter)

(laughter)

MATT: "It's got a certain quirk to it."

LAURA: Does anybody have their tankard left?

SAM: Oh, didn't we have a shirt?

MARISHA: I got you a-- Didn't you have a shirt?

MARISHA: We got a shirt.

LAURA: I have a Whitestone is for Lovers T-shirt that was going to get rid of. I also have a Taste of Tal'Dorei little pencil.

MARISHA: That's right, we got a grab bag.

LAURA: I can't remember what all I gave--

LIAM: I have that toy sword.

LAURA: -- because I gave one of my Taste of Tal'Dorei things away to get out of the Fey Realm.

MARISHA: Oh my god, that's right.

TALIESIN: We need to make some friends here.

LAURA: But here, I think I have a pencil.

LIAM: I have a toy sword, so I'll stand next to Imogen.

LAURA: Which one do you want?

SAM: Give them both.

LAURA: All right.

MARISHA: You know--

MATT: "Oh wow!"

TRAVIS: You're giving away two bartering chips? We're on the fucking moon. That's two get out of jail free cards. People dream about this shit.

TALIESIN: It's not free if you have to give it away. It's get out of jail for a price.

LIAM: I still have the novelty cup from my Ashari Breezer.

LAURA: Okay, good, good.

TALIESIN: Technically correct.

MATT: "This is--"

MARISHA: The Taste of Tal'Dorei is a franchise so, you know, maybe after all of this hullabaloo is done--

SAM: We could open one?!

MARISHA: We could open one here on the moon!

ASHLEY: A Taste of Tal'Dorei here.

TALIESIN: That's actually a great idea.

SAM: You could be the manager and the assistant manager.

ASHLEY: Oh my gosh, what if we had A Taste of Tal'Dorei here, and then back home, we could have the Taste of Kreviris? No, what's it called again?

LAURA: We could have A Taste of the Razora Outpost.

TRAVIS: Cerberus?

ASHLEY: Taste of Ruidus. No, wait.

TRAVIS: Kreviris.

SAM: Razora.

ASHLEY: No, what's the town called?

SAM: Razora.

LAURA: Well, this one is--

MATT: Razora.

TRAVIS and SAM: Kreviris?

ASHLEY: Kreviris! Taste of Kreviris.

LAURA: Kreviris is the bad town.

ASHLEY: The bad town, okay.

TRAVIS: Taste of (mumbling).

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay.

MATT: "There are a lot of good people in Kreviris. There's just--"

LAURA: I thought it was all Imperium controlled.

MATT: "It is, but just because the Imperium controls it, doesn't mean everyone they control is--"

TRAVIS: It's got to be burned to the ground.

SAM: By the way, if we make it there--

LIAM: Sounds like home.

SAM: I hate to pepper you with more questions. Two more. If we make it there, is there anyone that we should check in with or seek shelter with? Anyone who's an ally of yours who lives in that area?

LAURA: Outside of Zhesh.

MATT: "Zhesh is the only individual I trust."

SAM: Okay.

MATT: "Because I know their affiliation. Anyone else I've encountered around here might be very aligned."

SAM: Got it. Second question, unrelated. Can we sleep somewhere here?

MATT: "Here?"

SAM: Near?

LAURA: We have four more hours left of travel. I feel like we should take advantage of it.

MATT: "I got a room--"

ASHLEY: I do, too.

MATT: "I think we can make it work."

SAM: We're only going to get halfway there.

LAURA: Even so, that's halfway.

TALIESIN: It's still days.

SAM: Then we don't know where to go and we're in the middle of nowhere!

TALIESIN: There's a road.

LAURA: Can you keep your voice down? You're shouting.

SAM: I'm sorry. I only have two volume settings.

ASHLEY: I'm having trouble controlling (loudly) the volume of my voice!

TALIESIN: Line in an aux.

LAURA: If we go on foot or with the caravan, it's a couple of days of travel. If we at least use the cloud form, we can get there so much faster and then it just takes an extra day.

TALIESIN: We can do it by tomorrow.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: But we'll be--

MARISHA: But then we won't know.

SAM: We won't know where it is, and we'll be on a road with no beasts of burden or anything.

LAURA: I have a very strong idea of where it is.

MARISHA: Right, but I think I'm kind of with FCG here.

SAM: Also, I'm out of spells.

MARISHA: Because I thought Imperial guards and everything are escorting everyone everywhere, so I thought that was the pro to go with Zeth.

ASHLEY: Then wouldn't we miss the caravan?

SAM: Zhesh.

ASHLEY: Wouldn't we miss the caravan if we leave?

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Isn't it coming through here?

SAM: We would.

MARISHA: Well, all right, hang on.

LAURA: All right, all right.

MARISHA: Hang on, we have--

SAM: If we were to stay here, would there be a place to sleep?

MATT: "It probably wouldn't be the most comfortable, but I think there could be--"

LIAM: It's all right.

MATT: "We have a storage basement beneath this abode here that you'd be able to stay out of sight. I assume you're all fairly comfortable amongst yourselves."

TRAVIS: You mean where you'd put us while you turn us in, Chu?!

MATT: She's like, "My god! They've found me out, oh no!"

TRAVIS: I'm watching you.

LIAM: Side note, above the table, Liam thinks spending days traveling across the lunar landscape is fucking rad.

ASHLEY: I know, I do, too.

TALIESIN: Yeah, no, I'm totally into it.

MARISHA: Well, hang on. I guess--

TRAVIS: Are you above the table? Or are you, (like Laudna) hang on?

MARISHA: (exaggerated Laudna) I'm-- I'm, hang on!

SAM, ASHLEY, TRAVIS: (exaggerated Laudna imitations)

TALIESIN: Came up for air, and back down.

LIAM: (raspy) Who am I?

MARISHA: We can always, we have this glass from Zhesh.

TALIESIN: Yep.

LAURA: Uh-huh.

MARISHA: Nailed it. From Zhesh. So we can get in contact with her, right? Maybe just see if she is expected here, and then if she's not, then we can, you know, maybe--

LAURA: If Sending works here, on the moon. We could always try.

LIAM: Mm-hmm.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MARISHA: How far is it? Did you say? Did anyone say how far--

TRAVIS: Days.

MARISHA: Days.

SAM: A couple days.

MARISHA: Okay.

ASHLEY: A few days.

LIAM: Also, the chance of us just being able to waltz into any other situation and be as lucky, as fortunate as we were here, is slim. I feel like we should be--

TALIESIN: I've just been too anxiety-ridden to even look the fuck up yet for more than 10 seconds.

MARISHA: Barthie, be honest with us. How are our Imperial disguises? If we were to just waltz through Cir-- Ce-- Ka--

TRAVIS: Kreviris?

MARISHA: Kreviris, without a--

TRAVIS: Circe Lannister.

MATT: Va-see-lu-dah.

MARISHA: Sorry, Ashley got in my head.

TRAVIS: ♪ Fah who doraze ♪

ASHLEY: Sorry.

MATT: ♪ Dah who ♪

ASHLEY: It was me.

TALIESIN: Kreviris Cafe, finally.

ASHLEY: There it is, there it is. Alliteration.

MARISHA: Yes, if we were to just walk around without an official escort, would we pass? Be honest. Be honest!

MATT: "I haven't visited Kreviris in probably 40 or so years, so I'm not certain just how intense the populace might be, looking for your kind. You are definitely Dreamers, so you're going to draw attention."

LIAM: Right, we're aliens from another world.

MATT: "You're wearing the garb of the Dreamers that come escorted, so that might help."

MARISHA: They come escorted, all right.

MATT: "But, I mean--"

MARISHA: But there's normally a Reiloran escorting them.

MATT: "You're all extremely strange-looking," he says as the small arms grab the teacup and pull it in.

LIAM: Even at home, that's true.

ASHLEY: What if we're escorted by, you know, someone that-- Because I could disguise myself. I could look like you.

MATT: "If you're escorted by any sort of Imperium figure of some import or force of personality, it'd probably improve your chances, I'm sure. The closer you get to the Weave Mind, though, the harder it is to deceive."

LAURA: They kind of have access to everyone.

MATT: "Well, to a degree."

MARISHA: Imogen, I say in her head: Are you able to summon your little Reiloran friends here? Does it work like that now that we're on the moon?

LAURA: I haven't tried it. I don't know.

LIAM: That might be something to do if we do take a day or two here and rest, so that it's not a surprise in a heated moment.

LAURA: Sure. I also don't get control over which one I pull, so--

MARISHA: You could get a farmer.

LAURA: Potentially.

LIAM: Or you could get Willmaster Edmuda.

(laughter)

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: I mean, we could spend a few days here just being farmers. That kind of sounds fun.

TALIESIN: I'm honestly into it.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I like it.

TRAVIS: I'm not. Fuck that!

LAURA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: I'm not coming to the moon to farm.

LAURA: No offense.

TALIESIN: Moon farmer.

MARISHA: Get engaged with local culture!

SAM: You could also--

MARISHA: Learn about their ways!

SAM: You could fuck Chu.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: I'm not fucking any rock people!

TALIESIN: Tension's been very thick, we just assumed.

MARISHA: Would you fuck wood people?

LIAM: Is there any wood here?

MARISHA: Yes!

LIAM: Is there any wood?

MATT: You do see bits of wood.

(gasping)

MATT: Most of it's stone crafted. Make an investigation check for me.

LIAM: Investigation, you say? 15.

MATT: 15.

SAM: Guidance.

MATT: A lot of the stonework that you see here in the interior, the furniture, it's very well-carved, angular in places, very, very well-smoothed and detailed. A lot of it has a very-- It reminds you, but it's not dwarvish. It has a very similar kind of a cunning take on the stone carving aesthetic. There are bits of wood that you see in here, usually used sparingly, as opposed to Exandria, where wood is a very plentiful resource. It looks like wherever it's sourced here, whether from Exandria or otherwise, it's used mainly as a flourish or is very sparingly done in very necessary intricate ways, or as a small bit of decoration.

LIAM: It's a rarity.

SAM: I feel like, (deeper) above table--

MARISHA: You go Laudna when you go above table.

SAM: Yes, Matt is going to want us to choose what we're going to do, stay here or go.

LAURA: We'll vote. Why don't we vote?

MARISHA: Let's check in with Zhesh.

SAM: Is that something you can do?

LAURA: I can do it right now, yeah.

TRAVIS: Try and send him a message.

LAURA: I still have a 3rd.

SAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

SAM: Guidance!

LAURA: God, that's a lot of-- I mean, I can't Scry.

SAM: No, but you can Send?

LAURA: I can try to Send. I don't know if it'll work here. But I can try.

TALIESIN: Just go for it.

TRAVIS: Can Orym and I go to the windows and do a little peek to make sure we're still cool?

MATT: Sure. Both of you make perception checks.

LIAM: Let's go, Pops.

LAURA: How do I frame this?

MARISHA: Say you're here with Barthie.

LIAM: 26 for me.

TRAVIS: 17.

MATT: 17.

SAM: When are you going to be at Barthie's house? Yeah, what do we need to know? Just, when are you going to be there?

MARISHA: Are they passing through?

TALIESIN: We need an escort to the city. We're friends.

MARISHA: Friends of Barthie's.

MATT: You, glancing through, can see that a number of the blue orb lanterns are all converging and gathering on the far end of the village, near where you had arrived. It seems like it's a little more commotion than what you saw on the way here.

LIAM: How far off are they?

MATT: It's hard to tell distance, but you can gather--

LAURA: That's the caravan.

MATT: -- it's towards the outskirts of the village.

LIAM: Mm-hmm. Okay. I elbow Chetney and point it out.

TRAVIS: Hm?

LIAM: Some kind of hubbub out there.

TRAVIS: Hmm.

TALIESIN: Hubbub? What?

TRAVIS: Hey, Elder Barthie, do you think that caravan could be arriving now? Because there's a little hubbub on the outskirts.

MATT: "I mean, it's certainly possible. They've been a little delayed, so if they're trying to get here before it gets too late, that's within the realm of possibility."

TRAVIS: Where do they usually stay when they come in?

MATT: "As a caravan, they usually set up themselves. We don't have a lot of travel space here. Folks generally carry their own means of sleep around here or stay with some of the local farmers, if they need to."

MARISHA: Is Dono still in the room?

MATT: Dono is taking this all in quietly with a big grin.

MARISHA: Dono.

MATT: "Yes?"

MARISHA: Do you mind--

SAM: ♪ Much! ♪

MARISHA: Do you mind going and taking a little peeksie, see if that's the caravan?

MATT: "I can go do that, all right. I'll do it."

TRAVIS: Not a word to anyone.

MARISHA: Don't say anything!

TRAVIS: Zip!

MATT: "No word."

TRAVIS: Same to your sidekick.

MATT: "Whatever that means, yes. Okay! (clearing throat)" Opens the door.

TRAVIS: Good. Good face, yep.

MATT: Saunters out into the night.

LAURA: Elder. Do those within the Volition, which you have nothing to do with--

MATT: "At all, in the slightest."

LAURA: Do they have a phrase or a word that they speak to each other so that you know you're friendly? They know they're friendly?

MATT: "Unfortunately, codes, to what you're saying, tend to be unreliable. It's more of a-- Well, it's more of a feeling."

LAURA: So in his head, I'll say: Do y'all speak to each other?

MATT: "Reilorans can speak to us, and there are ways to safeguard the parts inside that don't want to be revealed. So you've just got to be open when it's someone you think you can trust."

LAURA: Got it.

MATT: In his head, back to you, "The fact that you're poking around in here is more than I was expecting from a Dreamer."

LAURA: I ain't poking around, don't worry. Just talking.

MATT: "But just saying, that's a useful tool in where you're going."

LAURA: All right.

LIAM: How is Dono doing?

LAURA: Dono already--

LIAM: I know. How is Dono doing?

LAURA: You can see.

SAM: You do know.

MATT: He walks out for a bit, talks to another figure out there, nods, and walks back in the most not chill fast run.

LIAM: Did Dono speak in Common there? Because I can read lips. Or is there another language spoken when we're not around?

MATT: I'd say at this distance, at night, it'd be too hard to see with the low light.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: So you're uncertain. Dono comes back to the door, opens it up. "The caravan has arrived."

MARISHA: (sneezes)

SAM: (startles)

TALIESIN: (startles)

MARISHA: (Laudna groan)

LAURA: Bless you.

MARISHA: Sorry!

MATT: "Gesundheit."

TRAVIS: Good job.

MATT: "That is good news?"

LIAM: I think so.

TRAVIS: How many are in the caravan?

MATT: "I did not stay to look. I just checked in on it. I did not want to raise suspicion."

TRAVIS: Very, very wise, Dono.

ASHLEY: Good job.

LAURA: Maybe, should we still Send a message?

SAM: They're here.

LAURA: If they're here, it's kind of stupid.

ASHLEY: Maybe we should wait.

SAM: Go say hi?

LAURA: Elder, do you think-- Well, we shouldn't go say hi.

SAM: No.

TRAVIS: We could send Dono to say that Elder Barthie wants a little quick word with Zhesh.

SAM: Or we could just wait 'til Zhesh shows up here? We don't want to draw his attention to Zhesh, part of the caravan, right?

LAURA: I don't know.

MARISHA: We don't even know if Zhesh is with this caravan, too.

LIAM: Another reason to--

SAM: Barthie!

LIAM: -- try reaching out, Imogen, because that's low key--

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: All right, sure. I'm going to reach out to Zhesh.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Guidance!

LAURA: Thank you.

ASHLEY: Good job.

(quiet laughter)

MARISHA: You've got this. You're very capable.

LAURA: We're here with Elder Barthie. Are you with the caravan in town? Would love to speak with you.

MATT: There's a long pause where you worry that the spell continues to not function, but there's also no static that strikes to the center of your mind, like you're beyond the knotted leylines for that interference to carve its way into the spellcraft. A voice responds a moment later. "I do not know who you are and what you want with Barthie. I'm just here to do some business."

MARISHA: So she's here.

LAURA: Yeah. Y'all, I'm out of spells, so.

ASHLEY: Well, she's here.

LAURA: Yeah, if Zhesh is here, then we can find them.

TRAVIS: You want me to go get her?

LAURA: Or Barthie.

SAM: Barthie, does Zhesh come here, or do you go to Zhesh?

MATT: "This late at night, I'm not much for wandering the premises unless there's a reason. You think it'll arouse suspicion if I leave my homestead?"

SAM: I don't know that, but if you would prefer, we can go. We can go, right? You're invisible.

LAURA: Do you normally greet the caravan if it comes into town?

MATT: "During the day, yes. They don't normally arrive this late at night, so this is a little out of the ordinary."

ASHLEY: I don't think you should do anything out of the ordinary.

LAURA: They're out of the ordinary!

MATT: "This is all out of the ordinary, to be fair. So maybe--"

MARISHA: Send the invisible guy, and the rest of us hang back.

SAM: All of us can be invisible, also. Don't we still have clouds?

LAURA: We can still be clouds.

TALIESIN: Dono, would you be surprised if you saw the elder wandering around tonight? Just, since the caravan came in, would that be unusual to you?

MATT: "I mean, it wouldn't be entirely unusual. It would just be a hello, maybe."

TALIESIN: Okay. I mean--

MATT: (Barthie) "Well, I suppose-- Well, here, at the very least, I can try and see what the commotion's about." He goes ahead and--

LAURA: I'm going to turn into a fart.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Goodbye.

SAM: Just you. Bye, Imogen!

TRAVIS: I'm going to start looking for the little subterranean entrance to go below the floor that he was talking about.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Barthie.

ASHLEY: Oh, he said there's one inside?

TRAVIS: Hm?

ASHLEY: He said there's one inside?

TALIESIN: Mm-hm.

ASHLEY: Cool, I missed that.

MATT: As you begin to concentrate and shift your form, you go to glance over there and Barthie turns to open the door. There's a (knocking) on the door. Barthie pushes it open as it continues to pull its way even wider open, and you can see standing, just the lower half of the head peering down, the tall form of a Reiloran, thin, with long tangled and tied robes in the front, a set of spaulders that come out into these central curls on each side. It looks like there are elements of it that feel rugged, but are thrown over some sort of adornment that denotes station, an ornateness to some of the metals and the bones that are set within the set. Immediately, Barthie goes, "Oh, wow, well. Willmaster, wasn't expecting you quite so--"

SAM and MARISHA: Oh god! Oh god!

MARISHA: Can we hide?

MATT: "-- presently, here."

MARISHA: We should hide!

LAURA: (laughs) I'm a fart!

ASHLEY: I'm going to go into fart, too.

LAURA and MARISHA: It takes a minute!

ASHLEY: Never mind, never mind, never mind, never mind!

LIAM: You'll be there like this.

SAM: Go ahead and start!

MATT: And that's where we'll come back after the break.

(yelling)

LIAM: You can't start, you're frozen in place and can't do anything while it's happening.

SAM: You can still--

LIAM: You're vulnerable.

MARISHA: No, I'm not doing it. I'm going to hide. I'm going to hide.

MATT: Well, you've got a little bit to think about what the hell you're going to do, except for Imogen, who's turning into a fart now.

LAURA: I said it, though. It would've been, what? How long before that person arrived?

ASHLEY: Willmaster Edmuda? Okay.

TRAVIS: 30 seconds?

LAURA: 20 seconds? 30 seconds?

SAM: Oh, we're going to find out.

MATT: Roll a d6 for me.

ASHLEY: Oh boy.

LAURA: Okay. Four. 40 seconds.

MATT: Okay, so you've got 20 seconds left.

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Guess we'll see what we do when we come back.

MATT: Yeah, we'll see then.

TALIESIN: Four rounds. Four rounds, if something goes--

LAURA: 20 seconds, that's--

TALIESIN: Four rounds.

LAURA: That's not that long when you're talking to somebody.

MATT: We'll find out, but yeah, nevertheless, we'll see what we all do shortly.

SAM: Yay!

Part II

MATT: And welcome back. So, here with the door open and the sight of what looks like the Willmaster standing there beyond the threshold, you mid-transformation, you towards the back of the chamber, what do you do?

TRAVIS: Did I successfully find an access point to underneath the floor?

MATT: Make an investigation check, actually.

TRAVIS: That's fair.

LIAM: In this split second of time--

MATT: Yeah?

LIAM: -- are we really hidden from view or is there full on gaps past our host's shoulders where we're all just going--

TRAVIS: 22 investigation.

TALIESIN: If I heard the knock, I would've gotten out of way of that anyway.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

TALIESIN: I don't trust this.

LIAM: Are we saying that we're all diving behind furniture and stuff and rolling stealth?

MARISHA: That's what I would--

TRAVIS: I'm fucking not.

MATT: All right, well.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: Those of you that wish to, you can make a stealth check with disadvantage.

MARISHA: I will dive behind the nearest chair. With disadvantage? Wow.

MATT: Yes.

MARISHA: That's shit.

LIAM: Ugh. (laughs) Terrible! Whenever I get a two or three, I'm so sad.

MATT: All right.

ASHLEY: Oh, disadvantage?

LIAM: A one is great.

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Dang it.

MATT: (laughs)

ASHLEY: I rolled a 20 and a 19.

LAURA: Hey!

MATT: Not too bad.

ASHLEY: So whatever, it's fine.

TALIESIN: 11.

MATT: So 11.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LIAM: Six.

MATT: Six.

LIAM: I'm standing behind a coat tree.

LAURA: I can't hide.

MATT: Yeah, you're just lying there.

ASHLEY: 22.

MATT: 22.

SAM: I didn't try yet.

ASHLEY: 21, I'm sorry.

SAM: I guess I'll try.

TRAVIS: We're trying to hide behind furniture?

SAM: Yeah, that's a one.

LAURA: What else would we do?

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Attack!

MARISHA: 15.

TRAVIS: Fight!

LIAM: There's a lot of people out there, though.

TRAVIS: How do you know?

LIAM: Because we saw them through the window.

TRAVIS: How many did we see?

LIAM: Many, many lights, and it was a returning caravan.

MATT: As the door is shifted open and the majority of you leap off to the sides of the room, half of you (clumsy clattering) knocking into a bit of furniture and--

LIAM: Oh shit!

MATT: -- scraping. After that brief exchange of you hearing the Willmaster's words filter into your mind, you see them duck their look below the doorway into and see this partially translucent concentrating Imogen just standing in the middle of the chamber in robes and a number of you barely hidden off to the sides as you're in the back. You found the doorway that leads into the basement area.

TRAVIS: I found the door! No.

(laughter)

LIAM: Can we see anyone beyond this individual?

MATT: There are people out in the streets behind, yeah.

LIAM: (sigh) Okay.

SAM: Are we allowed to take an action, or--?

MATT: Well, you all dove and stealthed and the figure--

SAM: We shouldn't have done that.

MATT: -- looked into the chamber now.

LAURA: (laughs) Should not have done that.

MATT: The dark, shark-like eyes of this particular Reilora figure glancing.

TRAVIS: Well, invite them in. Don't be shy.

MARISHA: Yeah, what's going on with the elder?

MATT: The elder's just looking stunned.

ASHLEY: Fucking say something, bro!

SAM: Okay, I'll step forward. I'll step forward into the open.

LAURA: Don't forget, we're in the robes.

SAM: I understand, and say: Come! Come inside, join us. We're having tea and biscuits. I'll cast Fast Friends on them.

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Good idea.

LIAM: (sighs)

LAURA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Little action.

SAM: Wisdom 16.

MATT: Wisdom 16.

TRAVIS: Willmaster shit.

SAM: They're very wise.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it should crush that.

LAURA: We've got to get your spell buffed.

MATT: You speak and give the spellcraft itself drifts through your phrases and words, and the dark eyes clarify on you for a moment and you watch them tense and then-- (grunt)

SAM: Uh-oh, they resisted.

MATT: -- open wide and you see them take a step out of the doorway.

SAM: Uh-oh.

MARISHA: Oh shit, oh shit.

ASHLEY: Wait. Wait!

MATT: As they're glancing over their shoulder, you can see other figures begin to step in.

LIAM: (moans)

SAM: Uh-oh.

MATT: Let's roll initiative.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

(exclaiming)

MARISHA: Oh shit.

MATT: Sorry.

MARISHA: Oh shit!

SAM: Oh no!

MATT: Immediate failed spellcast was too strong of an indicator.

LIAM: Oh no, I'm so upset.

ASHLEY: Oh my gosh.

MATT: It was worth a shot.

SAM: Hey guys, heed the call to adventure alongside the Heroes of Exandria, the Darrington Brigade! Pre-order this unforgettable set today at wizkids.io/darringtonbrigade.

TALIESIN: Well, fuck.

SAM: The best team ever!

MATT: All righty.

ASHLEY: (sneezes)

MARISHA: Bless you.

SAM: Gesund.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

SAM: Stop it.

ASHLEY: Guys, this wind. I know.

MATT: There is the figure. Chetney, you are back here searching the basement area.

SAM: ♪ Searching ♪

MATT: I'm using these as proxies. The elder has stepped back here--

SAM: Oh shit, we're going have to kill a bunch of people.

MATT: -- a little confused. FCG, you had come forward to cast the spell there. Fearne, whereabouts were you?

ASHLEY: I was hiding somewhere real good.

MATT: Right, so you were--

MARISHA: (laughs) Real good.

MATT: -- here.

ASHLEY: Because I got a--

MATT: No. (laughs)

ASHLEY: Yeah. (laughs)

SAM: Oh shit.

LAURA: She actually rolled really well on stealth.

MATT: Yeah, you actually rolled really well, so you would be probably back into the side here where he couldn't even see you.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: I was pushing for behind the door-ish, but yeah.

MATT: I'd say you went for it and hit this table--

TALIESIN: Yeah, that's very fair.

MATT: -- and then (clattering thud).

LIAM: I think Orym is behind one of the table chairs in plain sight.

SAM: Table chairs?

TALIESIN: The table chair.

LIAM: The chairs by the table.

MATT: Right there.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: You got it.

TALIESIN: It's called a table chair.

LIAM: As opposed to the big green plush one.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: We're trying to invite them in.

MATT: Imogen is mid-transformation here.

SAM: I tried!

TRAVIS: I know, thank you.

MATT: It rolled really high to resist it.

TRAVIS: Then we have numbers.

MATT: And Laudna?

MARISHA: I rolled a 15, so maybe I'd be behind that green chair, more hidden than Orym.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: But not that much more.

MATT: Okay, great. So you see this figure step back and there are other Vanguard figures--

SAM: That's a whole handful.

MATT: -- waiting behind them.

TRAVIS: Awesome.

MARISHA: Does that guy have a Carmen Sandiego kit?

LAURA: Yeah, it looks like Carmen Sandiego.

MATT: It does look like it, yeah.

LAURA: We found her.

MARISHA: That's awesome.

LAURA: She's been hiding on the moon!

ASHLEY: There she is!

LAURA: (laughs)

SAM: That's why she wears the red coat.

TRAVIS: ♪ Where on the moon ♪

TRAVIS and ASHLEY: ♪ Is Carmen Sandiego ♪

MATT: Initiatives 25 to 20?

SAM: ♪ (scatting) ♪

LIAM: 20.

MATT: 20.

TRAVIS: Orym.

MATT: All righty.

SAM: Orym.

ASHLEY: Orym!

MATT: 20 to 15?

MARISHA: 18.

TRAVIS: 16.

ASHLEY: 15.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Laudna, Chet.

TALIESIN: 16.

SAM: Uh-oh, uh-oh.

LAURA: Laudna, Chet, Ash.

TRAVIS: Let's say it again.

MATT: Sorry.

TRAVIS: Who had 18?

MARISHA: I did.

TRAVIS: And then?

MATT: Laudna did.

TRAVIS: I had 16, what did you have?

SAM: Also 16, Ashton.

TALIESIN: Also 16.

TRAVIS: Okay, dex?

LAURA: Rollies.

SAM: Rollies.

LAURA: Oh, dex I mean.

TALIESIN: Dex?

SAM: Rollies.

TRAVIS: Rollies instead.

TALIESIN: Dex is-- Oh, even better.

TRAVIS: Seven.

TALIESIN: Seven.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Rollies again!

MATT: Re-rollies!

MARISHA: Rollies!

TRAVIS: 12.

TALIESIN: Five.

SAM: Oh! Tense.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: So--

TRAVIS: Chet, Ashton.

ASHLEY: Fearne.

TALIESIN: Okay.

TRAVIS: Then Fearne.

TALIESIN: Did you roll also, FCG?

SAM: I haven't announced yet.

TALIESIN: Okay.

SAM: I haven't proclaimed.

TALIESIN: Gotcha.

MATT: Fearne, you got 14, you said?

SAM: Am I the last one? Nine.

ASHLEY: I got a 15.

MATT: 15, okay. What's your dex?

LAURA: Ugh.

ASHLEY: You want to Rollies?

MATT: Sure.

SAM and LAURA: (laugh)

ASHLEY: You want to Rollies, fool?

MATT: Let's do it, let's do it. Let's fucking go.

SAM: You think you can Rollies?

TALIESIN: Are you in--

LAURA: I rolled, but I don't know if I--

ASHLEY: 11.

MATT: 11? Okay.

ASHLEY: Yeah. Oh, you're not even going to tell me?

MATT: No.

SAM: You don't know.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay.

SAM: It's a secret Rollies.

LAURA: I think baddie is before Fearne.

MATT: All right.

ASHLEY: I do, too. I do, too.

LAURA: I rolled a 13, but I don't know if I count because I'm a fucking piece of wind.

SAM: Fart.

MATT: No, it's good to know because we might come back around to it. Okay.

LAURA: In the amount of time it took for FCG to try to cast Fast Friends and it failed, was that 10 seconds passing?

SAM: That's six seconds at least.

MATT: Yeah, we'll say it's six seconds. So you got we'll say roughly two more rounds.

LAURA: Before I can try to re-turn myself into--

SAM: Before you're a cloud.

MATT: Correct.

LAURA: Yeah, so I'm just out--

SAM: So 12 more rounds.

LAURA: -- this entire fight pretty much. Cool.

TRAVIS: This entire fight, yes.

MARISHA: Yeah, because it takes the same amount of time to de-cloud?

LAURA: Yeah, it takes a minute.

MATT: Yes.

MARISHA: (laughs) Shit.

MATT: Now mind you--

LAURA: My friends will--

MATT: To remind you, combat has initiated, meaning that there is an aggressive stance taken because a spell was cast on a particular figure.

SAM: Yes.

MATT: The rest of the actions are up to you.

MARISHA: To try and deescalate you mean?

MATT: Deescalate or go in and finish it quickly or get out or whatever you want to try and do. The choices are yours. But FCG, what'd you get?

SAM: Nine.

MATT: All righty. All righty.

TRAVIS: Just to talk it out above the table, if we try and deescalate, there's a person there that can read minds, so it probably won't go very well.

SAM: Unless we tell the truth.

MARISHA: They also can't read our minds--

SAM: We could surrender.

MARISHA: -- right now. We have the scroll up.

LAURA: Yeah. They can't read our minds I don't think with that scroll active. They can't.

SAM: That's right. We could surrender.

LAURA: Force their-- Right?

MATT: That was the intent of this--

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: -- set up, yeah.

MARISHA: Surrender?

SAM: Well, we could!

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: Well Orym, you're up first.

LIAM: Ugh. Cool.

SAM: Cool, cool, cool.

LIAM: I tell you what I'm going to do.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LIAM: I'm going to walk under that table like it's a person, because I'm a halfling.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: Five, 10, 15, 20. I'm going to move behind the elder and use Bait and Switch to move the elder back and I will stand forward next to the door.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: I am guarding the elder. I don't know what we're doing yet and I don't want to attack because I don't know if that's the right thing to do. It might be, but I don't know. The elder has an additional five to their AC with my shield up.

MATT: Good to know.

LIAM: That's all I'm doing.

MATT: Okay. All right, finishing Orym's go. Darting out of the sides--

MARISHA: Oh, jeez.

SAM: (winces) There's more of them.

TALIESIN: Well, here we go.

LAURA: Oh fuck.

MATT: -- two Shrikes rush up. They use their movement to get right up to the sides here and are keeping close by.

LIAM: Well, that's bad.

LAURA: Maybe one of them is Zhesh. Maybe one of them is going to help us.

MATT: All right, finishing the Shrikes' go. Laudna, you're up.

MARISHA: Oh.

ASHLEY: What are we doing?

MARISHA: Okay, what am I doing? Okay, I want to get them inside I feel like.

TRAVIS: We can try and talk out of it if you want to, or we could get captured. Either way, it takes us to the city we want to go to. I ain't worried about going to jail.

MARISHA: To get captured?

SAM: I can't go back!

MARISHA: Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

TRAVIS: I did feel like we just increased numbers to incentivize something besides a violent encounter.

MARISHA: A fight?

LAURA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Just to talk it out.

SAM: Or--

LAURA: That's a lot of, it's our equal to our party.

SAM: Yeah, but we're fucking badasses. We're Bells Hells.

TRAVIS: Always. Always.

SAM: We never lost a fight, except for that time that Laudna died.

TRAVIS: We definitely want--

LAURA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Is the Willmaster a she?

ASHLEY: And Orym.

SAM: And Orym.

TRAVIS: Willmaster is a she?

MATT: The Willmaster appears to be female, yeah.

MARISHA: Okay.

TRAVIS: What?

MARISHA: Appears to be female.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we definitely need her.

LAURA: To suck her energy out.

TRAVIS: Access to the city.

LAURA: And to suck her energy out.

TRAVIS: Pick her mind, suck her energy.

MARISHA: Suck her energy out.

SAM: Suck her energy out.

MARISHA: I really want to suck her energy out.

MARISHA: (laughs)

LIAM and ASHLEY: (laugh)

SAM: I want to suck your energy so hard.

LIAM: I'd suck your energy.

(laughter)

LAURA: I'd suck my energy. Fuck it!

SAM: It's all you, babe.

MARISHA: I'm setting the tone here.

MATT: What you doing, Laudna?

MARISHA: I'm going to Hex the--

SAM: That seems aggressive, let's do it.

MARISHA: -- the Willmaster.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MARISHA: I'm going to Hex the Willmaster.

MATT: Okay, so you--

MARISHA: Then-- Shit, shit. Shit, shit, shit.

LAURA: You just shit on the floor.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Shit, shit, shit.

MATT: (rapid fire shit)

TRAVIS: Shot, shot, shot, shot.

LIAM: Black diarrhea.

MATT: (laughs)

LIAM: Just ichor out the ass.

SAM: There is Calm Emotions. I could-- Oh, it's not going to work. They're all--

LAURA: One of the negatives of using the misty form.

TRAVIS: They're all souped up.

SAM: They can't be charmed.

TRAVIS: They're all souped up.

LIAM: Like an octopus.

MATT: The shadows congeal around the Willmaster. They don't seem to have noticed the effect lying on them because they're standing in the middle of the night right now. They're just stepping back and shoring up the rest of the figures that are standing at their sides.

LAURA: Ruh-roh.

MARISHA: I'm going to Fireball them.

SAM: Oh shit.

LIAM: Oh shit.

TALIESIN: What?

LIAM: Well.

TRAVIS: (laughs) For that face, it's worth it alone.

(laughter)

SAM: That's a good area.

LIAM: Well, we've made a choice.

MARISHA: I know.

SAM: That's a really good area.

MARISHA: I know. I know.

LAURA: Oh my god.

SAM: Is that person behind them with the bow and arrow, is that a friendly?

MARISHA: Is this a bad idea?

SAM: No, this is a great idea.

TRAVIS: You make a bold choice when you see them clumped up through a fatal funnel.

MARISHA: It's my thing. That's my thing.

TRAVIS: Flip your coin.

MARISHA: All right, well.

LIAM: I didn't ask how close they were. I said I cast Fireball.

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah! (laughs)

MATT: Fireball.

SAM: Are we getting any friendlies in there?

MARISHA: I don't want to get the-- It looks like there's no friendlies, if I can. That looks good, right?

MATT: I mean, you don't have a really good view from back here.

LIAM: Yeah, you have limited.

MATT: But to that point, even if striking the Willmaster, it does not look like you get any immediate friendlies from the explosion. I-- In danger would be Dono, but the building itself stops there so it prevents the flames from reaching them.

TRAVIS: Dono's like, "I'm living!"

(laughter)

TRAVIS: (explosion)

MARISHA: I mean hey, we want to make a display.

SAM: I can heal.

LAURA: Slow motion?

MARISHA: We want to make a display, right? That we're on their side.

MATT: All right.

SAM: I can heal people.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: So wait, Hex gives-- (mumbling spell description) deal extra damage.

LIAM: "Yes, and," folks. Here we go.

MATT: Go ahead and roll damage.

TALIESIN: Well, here goes shit!

MARISHA: I'm also going to--

SAM: With your tea, ma'am?

TRAVIS: Yeah, this isn't also--

LAURA: I already had two.

TRAVIS: This might not be the caravan, right?

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: They're so good!

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: No.

MARISHA: I'm also going to do this--

TRAVIS: We might have reinforcements coming from the rear or something.

LAURA: Stop.

TRAVIS: Maybe.

MARISHA: At 4th-level, by the way.

MATT: 4th-level, so it's 9d6 points of fire damage. Go ahead and roll that.

TALIESIN: Oh boy.

ASHLEY: Wow.

LAURA: Yes!

SAM: Yes!

LAURA: Yes, my baby!

MARISHA: (laughs) I'll do this three times and then there's an extra d6 on the Willmaster. Okay, so that is-- Okay wait, that was three. Okay, so that is seven.

LIAM: You're so brittle, there is a chance of spontaneous combustion.

LAURA: (laughs)

MARISHA: I said seven?

MATT: Mm-hmm.

SAM: That's 19.

MARISHA: Eight, nine.

SAM: You're up to 19.

MARISHA: 19, I trust Sam. So that's three, one more.

LIAM: That was your first mistake.

SAM: Oh! Cocked.

MARISHA: You said 19?

SAM: Mm-hmm.

MARISHA: 20, 21.

SAM: 32.

MARISHA: 32, I trust him. 32 fire damage with an extra three on the Willmaster.

MATT: Okay. All right.

SAM: Oof.

MATT: Okay, what's the DC?

MARISHA: The DC is 17 dex.

MATT: Okay. So one of the Shrikes manages to take half damage as it darts out of the way. Other one gets full blast as well as the Willmaster taking the full brunt of it. The other figures, that's a fail.

SAM: Look at those cute wuukors feeding over there.

MARISHA: I know, I love them.

MATT: Natural one.

TALIESIN: Yee.

MARISHA: Natural one.

MATT: Natural four. Oh my god. This is the lowest saving throw rolls.

MARISHA: So the one with the natural one takes double damage? No, that's if I crit.

MATT: No. Yeah.

MARISHA: I've been playing this game for a long time.

MATT: It's okay.

SAM: They keep changing the rules, though.

MARISHA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: (explosion booms) This massive burst of flame and the sound of an explosion (booms) echoes out through the middle of the night. Flames swirl in the space and as they reside or pull back, you can see many of the figures down almost to one knee, charred and flames licking off the sides of their arms and robes. You can see the four Vanguard figures are all going (screams). Just screaming in pain--

(laughter)

MATT: -- and there's one back here who looks about 16 or so.

LAURA and LIAM: Oh!

MATT: Who's like, "What's happening, what's happening?" They look near death and terrified.

LAURA: Oh!

TRAVIS: Good.

LAURA: They're little Vanguard.

MARISHA: I just scream out: Run!

(laughter)

MATT: Okay!

TALIESIN: Wow!

MATT: Staying put?

MARISHA: Can I move away, back as far as I can go?

MATT: You can go back about there.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: That's the back of the chamber of the domed abode.

MARISHA: That's great. That's great.

MATT: All right, that finishes your turn. Now is the Ruby Vanguard--

LIAM: Oh boy.

MATT: All of them start screaming and running. This guy goes charging off this way. This guy wanders this way, shocked, goes like, "What's happening? What's happening?"

SAM: (whispers) No.

MATT: This guy here, he's going to stand back, a little angling and get behind this side.

TRAVIS: Carmen Sandiego.

(laughter)

MATT: The young one is going to go, "(pants)," (magic exploding) and you watch as a familiar burst--

LAURA: Oh!

MATT: -- of semi-purple energy suddenly flashes from within him--

LAURA: Ruh-roh.

MATT: -- and he lifts off the ground about a foot.

MARISHA: Oh, I just awokened a bitch.

MATT: (electric charges) Kind of crackles, and the flames still burning off his shoulders.

LAURA: Yeah, you awoken them. You exalted someone.

MARISHA: I just exalted somebody, didn't I?

TALIESIN: He's doing it, Peter.

MARISHA: You're doing--

(laughter and clapping)

ASHLEY: You're doing it, Peter.

TALIESIN: Starting to believe.

(laughter)

LIAM: Wow, this got messy.

TALIESIN: It got real messy.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Oh yeah.

SAM: Why are they terrified of us, they're brutal soldiers?

LAURA: No, these were just people.

TALIESIN: These were just people.

LAURA: These were just dreamers. These were just Ruidusborn. They weren't necessarily--

LIAM: Well, they're in some level of cultishness, right?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: There are degrees, yeah.

LIAM: That doesn't mean that they're big, hard warriors.

TRAVIS: They're still alive for the moment.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LAURA: They could also be mentally controlled, you know what I mean?

SAM: Sure, sure, sure.

MATT: The Willmaster was like--

MARISHA: Did I do a bad?

SAM, TRAVIS, ASHLEY and MATT: No.

MATT: The Willmaster--

MARISHA: (laughs) Laura did not answer.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Everyone was like, "No!" and Laura went.

TALIESIN: Laura can't answer right now, she's in a torpor.

(laughter)

MATT: The Willmaster just skidded back a bit. Sees this exaltation of this teenage boy. As he floats there, and you all feel it, too, both of you feel this like, (air whooshes) this weird pressure pushed back on your mind. as the blast of it comes through you and you recognize another node of that network has come online. As the boy stands there, the Willmaster just, without even glancing at him, just points forward. It's still their turn. Most of them ran. The newly Exalted Vanguard newcomer is going to use Telekinesis.

LAURA: Oh wow, he upgraded.

MATT: I need you to go to make a strength check for me, Laudna.

MARISHA: Oh! Oh.

(uncertain noises)

SAM: You can do that.

MARISHA: No.

SAM: Guidance.

MARISHA: Really?

SAM: No.

TALIESIN: No.

(laughter)

LIAM: Oh, that works.

MARISHA: 10.

MATT: 10?

MARISHA: Yep.

TALIESIN: Oh boy.

SAM: Yikes.

MARISHA: Yeah, it's not zero.

MATT: You get lifted and you are pulled up and you are currently now held aloft in the middle of the air just above the headroom of the center of this chamber.

TRAVIS: Yeah, Laudna going beast mode! Show them!

SAM: Is this your form of dread?

MARISHA: (panicky) It's not me, it's not me.

MATT: And is going to hold you there, grappled, and going to start drifting back, (air whooshes), this way and backward. Finishing their go, that brings us to Chetney, with Ashton on deck.

TRAVIS: Amazing! Can I use 25 of my feet so I can come up near the table in between Imogen and the table, get a visual on the Willmaster.

MATT: Yes.

TRAVIS: Can I, with my bonus action, cast Blood Curse of Binding?

MATT: Sure.

TRAVIS: It is a DC strength saving throw.

MATT: Natural 17.

TRAVIS: He saves.

MATT: Sorry.

TRAVIS: She! Sorry.

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: She saves, yeah.

TRAVIS: That's okay. With my action, I'm going to take Turmoil and I'm going to cast Shatter.

MATT: Ooh.

TRAVIS: On the Willmaster.

MATT: You got it. Natural one.

(collective "Mm" of approval)

TRAVIS: Oh! Beautiful. Oh, we pull out a ♪ Sha-Shatter ♪ Great, 48.

SAM: There's a whole caravan of these fuckers.

TALIESIN: Do we go outside or do we--

LAURA: They might be traders.

TALIESIN: Do we go outside or do we--

TRAVIS: Traitors? Yeah, they're traitors.

TALIESIN: Trying to hold up.

SAM: (laughs)

TRAVIS: 14. Oh! 28...

LIAM: Orym doesn't feel like they have a read on the situation at all.

TALIESIN: No, I really don't.

SAM: That's good.

TRAVIS: 28 points of thunder damage.

MATT: Ooh, ooh.

TALIESIN: Oh boy.

MATT: Ooh.

TRAVIS: Big roll.

MARISHA: We're being very loud about this.

TALIESIN: We're being very loud about this.

MATT: (explodes) This massive secondary detonation--

TALIESIN: Oh boy.

MATT: -- blasts the air with concussive energy that ends up cracking the ground beneath where the Willmaster stands, and it echoes off, (echoing explosions) through the valley of nearby mountain tops. Like, (quieter explosions)

SAM: Oh no.

TRAVIS: If I had it right, it's a 10-foot sphere.

LIAM: -- hard to hide in the caravan.

TRAVIS: So could I also hit the--

MATT: Oh right, yeah, next to him.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: Yeah, that would actually get the other, of the Shrike to the side.

TALIESIN: Fast Friends--

MATT: Which is a 13.

TRAVIS: All right.

MATT: So.

TRAVIS: Doesn't save, con 14.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Just want to suck the magic out of the Willmaster. That's all I want, though.

SAM: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Working on it.

TRAVIS: With the last 20 feet of my movement, can I slide behind Ashton?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Just out of the line of sight.

MATT: There you go.

TRAVIS: That's my turn.

MATT: All right, finishing your go, Ashton, you're up.

TALIESIN: Oh, of course. That's funny. All right, so let's fucking rage. Let's see what the hell tools I'm playing with. Interesting. Okay. I'm going to, where's my pen? So, I rage. I am--

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: -- start to go a little black and white cinematic as everything around me starts to turn gray.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Which means gravity.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: So this is good.

MARISHA: I never know what Taliesin's talking about.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: So basically everything is starting to lean toward me in this very odd fashion.

ASHLEY: "Pleasantville" style?

TRAVIS: Yep.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: Nearby knick-knacks are like

(thumps)

TALIESIN: Just slowly dragging over.

LIAM: It's a vibe.

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs)

TALIESIN: It is definitely a vibe. I'm going to-- how many feet to, in getting in this guy's face?

MATT: Two, though, which one?

TALIESIN: Is that Willmaster?

MATT: That's the Willmaster there. It's about 30 feet to get there.

TALIESIN: It's about 30 feet?

MATT: 20, 25-ish, yeah.

TALIESIN: 25 feet. Okay. Let's see how this goes. I'm just doing a little reading.

MATT: As soon as you rush out there, the Shrike that was holding its action--

LAURA: Oh.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah?

MATT: -- is going to unload into you.

TALIESIN: Awesome.

(laughter)

SAM: Into you?

LIAM: Here comes that communal sex.

TALIESIN: Okay.

LAURA and MATT: (laugh)

MATT: First, no, first it's going to do multiattack with its three arm blades on you.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: That's going to be a 14 to hit.

TALIESIN: Miss.

LIAM: So dumb.

SAM: We hear a cloud snoring in the corner.

MATT: Natural one.

TALIESIN: Nope.

MATT: That's going to be a 19.

TALIESIN: Erratic Defense.

SAM: Erratic?

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: What is that?

MATT: All right, to which, go for it.

MARISHA: It's Erratic Defense.

TALIESIN: That means we hit a Space run, so I have resistance to the attack.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: He just got the high score on Galaga.

MATT: Yeah.

(laughter)

MATT: All righty, you take then from that one--

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

MATT: It's going to be 10 points of slashing damage.

TALIESIN: Reduced to five, reduced to--

MATT: Two.

TALIESIN: Two points of damage. Okay, so it just went (minor impact). I feel that tiny hit. I turn to that little Shrike: Oh, fuck right off. and cast a teleport disc right below him and I'm going to send them 30 feet into the, as far into those animals as humanly possible.

TRAVIS: Into the pen?

MATT: Over here?

TALIESIN: Into the pen.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

MATT: Using which one?

TALIESIN: I got Space so I'm resistant to the attack and it's teleported to an empty space of my choice within 30 feet.

MATT: Oh yeah. So, 20, 25, 30.

TALIESIN: Yep. (whooshing), into the pen.

MARISHA: Wuukors are violent.

TALIESIN: Fuck off! Now, I'm going to turn and hit the--

MATT: Go for it.

TALIESIN: -- that hit our friend. Okay.

TRAVIS: Oh my god, if you create a stampede in there--

LIAM: Can we headcanon the Exalted as Billy Mitchell?

(laughter)

TRAVIS: And his hot sauce.

TALIESIN: Yeah, fuck it. Let's go--

MATT: I think he cheated his way into Ruidusborn.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Whoa, oh, oh.

LIAM: I think he was reinstated.

MATT: I think he was pulled away again.

LIAM: Again, in like days?

TRAVIS: Those VHS tapes, man.

MATT: Oh no, recent recently?

LIAM: Recent recent.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: Eh, he's still an asshole.

TRAVIS: It never ends.

TALIESIN: Yeah, and I'm going to--

LIAM: Ah!

TALIESIN: -- to roll with advantage, and take my lumps if they happen.

MATT: Sorry. You're fine.

TALIESIN: Okay. Actually, I shouldn't, shit's about to go down. That's 19 to hit. No, that's 20 to hit, excuse me.

MATT: 20 hits.

TALIESIN: Okay, that's 2d6 plus 12. I get to reroll this now because I did not like that roll. Better, eight, 20 points of damage.

MATT: 20 points of damage. Slick.

TALIESIN: Coming back down for another hit.

SAM: Oh my god. So we're talking our way out of this, right?

TALIESIN: Yep.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: 19.

MATT: 19 hits.

TALIESIN: It's going to knock out, not kill.

TRAVIS: In space, no one can hear you talk.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Don't like that roll. I have to stick with it. That's seven, 19 points of damage.

TRAVIS: Jeez.

MATT: Ooh-ooh. All righty.

TALIESIN: Then, I have a little bit of movement left. I am going to, let's see, that's the wrong one. I'm going to try and back off about, three, about 15 feet, if I can get 15 more feet back.

MATT: 15 more feet.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: Back this way? Okay, so you get right there.

TALIESIN: I'm going to get right there. Wait, yeah, I'm going to get right there so that I'm kind of--

LAURA: Oh no!

TALIESIN: I'm going to make it a little harder for them to get Laudna out of the house.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: I'm taking a defensive stance.

MATT: You got it. Okay, that finishes your go.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: All right. It is now the Willmaster's go. Top of the Willmaster's turn, Willmaster, taking a bunch of hits, angrily falling to the ground and like, "(snarling)" and you see this dark red, purple blood (splashing) onto the front of its robes and outfit.

TALIESIN: He's going to get pulled 10 feet towards me so, because it's the start of his turn and I've got the Gravity up.

MATT: Right, does he make a save against it or just--

TALIESIN: I think it's you just, within 15 feet. There might be a save, I might have fucked it up. Carry on in the meantime, sorry.

MATT: No worries.

TALIESIN: There we go. I can find it fast now. Yeah, there's a, start their turn, 15 feet towards you.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: Moving 15 feet.

TALIESIN: Yeah, pulled 10.

MARISHA: Matt, I'm also going to say that the Willmaster has disadvantage on--

TRAVIS: Oh, from your Hex.

MARISHA: Right.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Strength checks.

MATT: Well, at the beginning of the turn they get pulled in. Looking towards you, their eyes flare a bright white coloration.

TALIESIN: Oh shit.

MATT: Every single person in the village that has come out to see the commotion, their eyes also turn white.

TRAVIS: Oh no! (laughs)

TALIESIN: Got to knock this motherfucker out fast.

MATT: They immediately rush in, flank them.

TRAVIS: Huh?

MATT: I don't want to kill them, yeah.

TRAVIS: Oh, you got to take out the source.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: Dash into there.

TRAVIS: Or get them unconscious, right?

TALIESIN: Yep. Anyone feels like grabbing them and shutting the door behind them?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: Is going to go ahead. Bonus action, telekinetic shove to you. (whooshing) Go ahead and make a strength check for me.

TALIESIN: Okay, I'm also checking, I cannot be knocked prone, pushed, pulled or forced to move.

MATT: Because of the Gravity?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: Oh yeah, so--

TRAVIS: Yay.

MATT: It just (magic whooshing)

MATT: Full stop on that one. Okay.

TRAVIS: Fuck.

TALIESIN: I'm just giggling like a fuck.

MATT: Okay.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Giggling like a fuck.

TALIESIN: Yep.

TRAVIS: It's the thing, the heels dig in. It's like, (screeching)

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: Yeah. Okay, well, let's jagged dart, then.

TRAVIS: What?!

TALIESIN: Do it.

TRAVIS: Jagged dart.

ASHLEY: Jag and dart?

LIAM: Jagged dart.

ASHLEY: Jagged dart.

TRAVIS: Yes, Jack and Dart.

MATT: They take this long, thin pointed dart out of the side of a leg sheath.

TALIESIN: I don't like that.

MATT: (whooshing) Flings it over towards you. As they throw it, it seems to like, (whooshing) speed up through some sort of unseen force.

TRAVIS: Oh.

MATT: That's going to be a 22 to hit.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah, that hits.

TRAVIS: Nice. 22 to hit.

MARISHA: Who's hitting you?

TALIESIN: Oh, I've finally pissed them off real bad.

MATT: That's going to be 22 points of force damage.

TALIESIN: Halved.

MATT: Not force damage.

TALIESIN: Force damage is not halved?

MATT: Nah. Just regular damage.

LIAM: Brain shit.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: They're going to move backward to try and get away from you.

TALIESIN: That's fair.

TRAVIS: But all of his, their followers.

MARISHA: His friends are there.

TRAVIS: Oh, he can just fucking fly.

MATT: They're still going, just back out of there.

TALIESIN: There's nothing I can really do about that right now.

TRAVIS: Can Reiloran hover levitate or just on foot?

MATT: He's on foot.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: That's going to finish his go. Fearne, you're up, with Imogen on deck.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: Good to know, yeah.

ASHLEY: All right, I'm going to peek around outside the door.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: And see the Willmaster.

MATT: Indeed, you see them stepping back into the crowd of many of the other nearby villagers. They're all just standing and blocking the way.

ASHLEY: So I lock eyes and just like: Psst, you need to come inside. And I'm going to cast Charm Person.

MARISHA: Come on, come on, Fearnie.

MATT: Charm Person. Okay. Charm Person, because they're in an aggressive, hostile environment with you, they have an advantage on the save.

ASHLEY: Oh, okay.

MATT: It's a will save or sorry, wisdom.

ASHLEY: It's a wisdom.

MATT: Wisdom, sorry. That's going to be a 16.

ASHLEY: Doesn't, it's an 18.

MATT: It's an 18?!

(cheering)

ASHLEY: All right, so I'm going to say: Psst, hey, you got to get inside right now! Come here.

TRAVIS: Oh, he's checking, he's checking.

SAM: You're doing this to the--

TRAVIS: To the Willmaster.

ASHLEY: The Willmaster.

SAM: The Willmaster.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: But also--

MATT: So they treat you as a friendly acquaintance.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: So you tell them to come inside.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: Right? They look at you like--

ASHLEY: You need to come inside right now.

MATT: You hear in your head. "It's too dangerous. They're attacking."

ASHLEY: No, no, no, it's not, I promise.

MATT: "Come, we have to take a defensive position."

ASHLEY: No, no, no, I'm stuck in here. I'm shackled.

(laughter)

MATT: Make a deception check.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Shackled.

LIAM: Oh yeah, they've got me chained to the wall.

(laughter)

SAM: Oh.

TRAVIS: You're good at deception!

SAM: Oh.

TRAVIS: You're good at deception!

LAURA: You're good at it.

ASHLEY: I rolled a one.

LAURA: Oh no!

LIAM: Oh!

SAM: Shackled.

ASHLEY: That's not what it's called. That's not what I meant.

(laughter)

MATT: They give you a look like--

ASHLEY: Okay, I'll come outside.

MATT: "Yeah, come join."

TRAVIS: Shackled by fear.

ASHLEY: I'm going to go outside.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Wait, what am I doing?

SAM: Yeah, what are you doing?

TRAVIS: What are we doing? What are you doing, we're leaving the cover?

SAM: It's fine, it's fine, do whatever--

LAURA: She's friendly, they're not going to make all the--

MATT: Where are you going?

LAURA: -- villagers attack her.

ASHLEY: I'm going to stay--

MATT: You have 15 more feet of movement, if you want.

ASHLEY: Okay, but I'm going to tuck around.

MATT: Over here?

ASHLEY: To the other side. Yeah, that side, like I'm just staying there.

MATT: Okay, so you move through. It's not even focused on you now and it's still looking out in the direction of--

TALIESIN: Oh boy.

MATT: -- onside the household with the rest--

ASHLEY: Please go in there. Please go in there. Please go in there.

(laughter)

MATT: All right, that finishes your turn.

TRAVIS: He's like, "I don't know why we're friends."

(laughter)

TRAVIS: This one has a terrible sense of self preservation.

MATT: It seems very much rapidly took you as an ally due to still wearing the robes of the Vanguard, and is like, more like, I have to get you out of there where it's dangerous.

SAM: Even if we can calm them down, what do we do with them?

MATT: Imogen. A turn goes by.

ASHLEY: Shit.

SAM: FCG.

SAM: It's me?!

TALIESIN: Yep.

SAM: Are we killing these things?

TRAVIS: ♪ It's me ♪

TALIESIN: Just trying to knock one of them out, really.

TRAVIS and MARISHA: ♪ I'm the problem, it's me ♪

TRAVIS: You could also go see if Zhesh is in that caravan, right? I don't think that's what--

LAURA: Yeah, I'll do stuff as soon as I can move. I'm still not a--

TRAVIS: Oh yeah. You're transforming.

LAURA: I'm just--

MARISHA: (laughs)

LIAM: She's just this.

LAURA: Like a fucking moron.

TALIESIN: It was a good call.

LAURA: Was it?

TALIESIN: At the time.

SAM: I'm going to try to shoot my grapple canon.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: At elder-- Nope. (laughs) Willmaster.

MATT: Edmunda.

SAM: Edmunda.

LIAM: Is it Edmuda?

MATT: Edmuda the Willmaster.

TALIESIN: Force damage.

SAM: As I ready my grapple canon I say: Edmuda! Any response?

MATT: None that you necessarily--

SAM: Damn it! (laughs) I will fire my grapple canon!

MATT: At the Willmaster.

TRAVIS: Double eyelid.

SAM: At the Willmaster.

MATT: (laughs) All right, roll for attack.

SAM: Let's see if it works. Oh, that's terrible.

TRAVIS: How many eye lids do they have, Matt? The Reiloran.

MATT: You haven't gotten a close enough look to know.

TRAVIS: Son of a bitch.

SAM: 15.

MATT: 15?

SAM: Versus armor class.

MATT: Right. That hits.

SAM and LAURA: (gasp)

MATT: But hold on. Ah. So, as part of the Meat Shield ability--

SAM: Meat Shield.

TRAVIS: The Meat Shield ability?!

MATT: As you fire it, one of the other villagers--

LAURA: Oh no!

MATT: -- jump in front of the way and take the hit instead and your grapple canon sinks into one of the--

SAM: Oh no!

MATT: -- local farmers.

TRAVIS: How could you?

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: Go ahead and roll damage.

SAM: Oh shit, I rolled a 10.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: For a total of?

SAM: 10.

MATT: 10 damage?

LAURA: Oh no!

LIAM: A villager? They're toast.

MATT: This villager--

SAM: Wait! Wait! Oh.

LAURA: It pulls towards you, at least you can heal them.

SAM: Okay, okay.

MATT: You pull them into the room, smashing just past Ashton onto the ground.

TALIESIN: What the fuck?

MATT: They're on the ground, (dying groans) bleeding out.

SAM: As a bonus action--

TRAVIS: Bleeding out.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

SAM: -- can I take half their damage to myself?

MATT: Yeah, you can.

SAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: Oh, snap.

MARISHA: Wow.

MATT: So they only take five.

MARISHA: Wowsers.

TRAVIS: Meat Shield ability. We didn't know that was a thing. We're learning.

LAURA: We're learning, we're learning.

TRAVIS: You know how you don't learn their abilities?

LAURA: You're learning, I'm not doing anything.

TRAVIS: By getting captured.

MARISHA and MATT: (laugh)

MARISHA: That's true.

LAURA: You were the one that was leading the attack them fray.

TRAVIS: I am very happy right now.

LAURA and MARISHA: (laugh)

ASHLEY: (laughs)

MATT: All right, so they stumble to the ground, prone. It's sticking into their chest for a minute, like--

(pained groaning)

SAM: I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!

MATT: "(gasping for breath)"

SAM: I missed.

MATT: They blink and the dark eyes return for a minute. "(grunt) What's going on?"

SAM: I don't know.

(laughter)

MATT: Do you want to move, or stay put?

TRAVIS: FCG! Speak words of comfort to them!

SAM: You're going to be fine. Everything's all right. I'm a dreamer, this is a dream. You're having a dream right now. Everything's going to be--

MATT: "I'm in a dream. Okay."

SAM: This is a dream. Everything's going to be fine.

TRAVIS and LAURA: (laugh)

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: Oh my god!

TALIESIN: Why does it hurt?

TRAVIS: In six seconds, his eyes are going to flash.

SAM: I'm not going to move. I'll move off to the side if someone wants to get around me, I guess. But I want to stick close to the door.

MATT: You got it. All right, finishing your go, FCG. That brings us to the top of the round, Orym.

LIAM: (distressed moan) Okay. So Orym is going to step diagonally--

SAM: Meat Shield.

LIAM: -- into the doorway.

MARISHA: Meat Shield!

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Okay. As soon as he gets there, he quickly sizes up what's going on, looks at the Willmaster.

MATT: Uh-huh.

LIAM: I'll say that his eyes go a deep, deep green. He's going to start running forward, casting Hex as he goes.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Small little black blooms, almost like Druidcraft, start to blossom out of the Reiloran's chest around the neck and small little tendrils. Orym's going to slide under her legs. I should have 30 feet to get right behind her.

MATT: Oh yeah.

LIAM: I will start to attack her using the flat of Seedling to do non-lethal damage to try to continue to knock her out.

MATT: Go for it.

LIAM: (heavy sigh) That is a--

(babbling nonsense)

TRAVIS: It's a necrotic power.

LIAM: -- 22 to hit.

MATT: 22 to hit. You strike and you watch the nearby figures pulse, their muscles try and go, but you're too quick and you strike the Willmaster. So roll damage.

LIAM: Okay. All right, so that is six plus six is 12, plus a d6 for the Hex. So that's 15 for the first smack to the side of her noggin.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Nice.

LIAM: Leaping there and doing the next is a 22 to hit again.

MATT: 22 to hit. This strike, as you go to swing, one of the local farmers darts right in front of the way and blocks the Willmaster with their body and you strike them across the chest.

LIAM: Well, it's still non-lethal, so knocking, so that's 15 points.

MATT: 15 damage, they go unconscious on the ground. You hit them with the flat of the blade.

MARISHA: Fuck.

MATT: That farmer just--

TRAVIS: Unconscious, unconscious.

MATT: -- crumples unto the ground.

MARISHA: Unconscious, okay.

TRAVIS: You just beat the fuck out of of them, it's okay.

MARISHA: Non-lethal damage. Okay, okay, okay.

TRAVIS: He's drooling.

LIAM: I'm going to finish.

SAM: (laughs) You're going to unload on them?

LIAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

SAM: (laughs)

LIAM: This is communal. That's a natural 20. Of non-lethal.

TRAVIS: You don't think they have rodeos in this place? I mean, come on, these people get knocked out all the time.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: One of the other farmers runs in as the Willmaster is backing out.

LAURA: Oh man!

LIAM: So, it's not a reaction. It's just ongoing continual?

MATT: It seems that as long as there are any within the immediate vicinity of the Willmaster, I roll and there's a chance that any of them will take the blow for her.

LIAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: That's an awesome feat.

LIAM: Wow.

LAURA: It's really, really cool.

SAM: It really is cool.

TRAVIS: You just got to remove the shields.

LIAM: Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so I've just knocked out--

SAM: Or else you'll just beat up everybody.

LIAM: -- two citizens here and jumped forward.

MARISHA: We swear we're on your side!

SAM: Set fire to the place. We're the good guys!

LIAM: Damn it. There's still a couple more people around?

MATT: There's these three here.

LIAM: Yeah, citizens.

MATT: There's one that's right next to them.

MARISHA: Oh, it's a little man!

MATT: There's one over here that hasn't quite--

SAM: It's an old man. It's a cute old man who's about to get Meat Shielded.

(laughter)

LAURA: Oh my gosh. You can't Meat Shield an old man.

LIAM: Oh my gosh.

SAM: "I'm headed over to bingo. Oh, fuck!"

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: Anything else, Orym?

SAM: "This little halfling shithead."

MARISHA and LAURA: (laugh)

TALIESIN: This is tricky.

LIAM: This is dark.

SAM: (laughs)

MARISHA: (laughs)

LIAM: I'm going to action surge.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: I'm going to leap up and grapple her head and hang on.

MATT: Okay, all right. So you action surge and then go on. You can grapple multiple attacks. Each attack can be a different grapple attempt.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: So for the first one, make an athletics check versus their athletics.

LIAM: That's a natural one, which I'll reroll.

MATT: Okay. Natural 20.

LAURA: (gasps)

LIAM: Okay, so that one fails.

MARISHA: Silvery Barbs.

LAURA: What is that? They have to reroll a 20?

MATT: That's going to be an 11.

LIAM: That was a 12.

LAURA: (gasps)

ASHLEY: Oh!

MATT: All right, so yeah. So your first attack--

ASHLEY: Yes, let's go!

MATT: -- you reach over and you grapple onto. They're now currently grappled and unable to move away.

SAM: That's so good.

ASHLEY: ♪ Silvery Barbs ♪

LIAM: Now, if I'm holding onto her head, I can't use the other attacks at all, right? Now I'm locked and I'm done? Or can I--

MATT: No, you can keep attacking.

TRAVIS: Are you going to give a little--

LIAM: I'm going to elbow her in the eye with Hex.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: I don't know how a person's going to run in the way of that. That's what I'm doing.

TRAVIS: Well, they should try.

MARISHA: Matt, question. Was that a strength ability check that they just did?

MATT: That would have been-- No, strength or dex and they did dex. Because they can choose either athletics or acrobatics.

MARISHA: They did dex, okay.

LIAM: So this would just be the Hex damage. I got a 22 to hit with my elbow.

MATT: A 22 to hit? I'll say because you're so close, I'm going to give myself disadvantage on the roll for them to try and Meat Shield.

LIAM: How?

TRAVIS: You never know.

MATT: Because they can grab the back of your arm as you reach back and hit them.

LIAM: Okay, sure.

MATT: But no, they fail. So this damage goes straight through. How much was that? That was--

LIAM: That is six points of Hex damage coming through Orym's tiny elbow.

MATT: As you're like, (grunts). The next one is?

TRAVIS: It glows through the tattoo as it, (contact slam).

MARISHA: (laughs)

LIAM: (laughs)

TRAVIS: The moons light up. (laughs)

LAURA: (laughs)

LIAM: That is a 17.

MARISHA: That's pretty sick.

MATT: 17, that does hit. They did not manage to Meat Shield because of the disadvantage. So, roll the next bit of damage.

LIAM: That is four points of elbow Hex.

MATT: Four points of elbow Hex!

TRAVIS: Yeah, bro!

MARISHA: You got to charge it.

MATT: You got it.

TRAVIS: How is she looking?

TALIESIN: Fuck.

MATT: She's not looking great. She's looking kind of hurt. She got that Fireball and Ashton combo right out of the gate really rocked her more than she was expecting.

TRAVIS: We'll pull her guts out soon. It'll be fine.

MATT: Okay. That finishes your go, Orym?

LIAM: Jeez, yes.

MATT: All right.

LIAM: That was awful. That felt awful.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

MATT: The Shrike group over here, these various wuukor start going. (disgruntled moos) They start getting agitated and starting to rally out of their sleeping position.

MARISHA: Run with the bulls!

MATT: The Shrike's going to run and leap over this high fence.

SAM: H'yah!

MATT: They have 40 feet of movement. Yeah, they can get there. They're going to rush up to you, Orym.

LIAM: Oh, and one last detail. My Hex will give her a disadvantage on dexterity checks.

TRAVIS: So now you're covering strength and dex checks.

MATT: So now we know that.

ASHLEY: Nice.

MATT: Good to know. Okay.

LAURA: Are you still hanging onto her head?

LIAM: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: She ain't going anywhere.

MATT: This Shrike is going to dart up--

LIAM: Just doing this into her.

SAM: Oh no, they're surrounding Orym.

MATT: -- and is going to--

LAURA: If they miss Orym, they'll hit the Willmaster, though.

SAM: Maybe Orym can use the Willmaster's Meat Shield.

LAURA and MATT: (laugh)

MATT: All right, so because they have you pincered, they have advantage on the strikes.

LIAM: Yeah, sure.

MATT: The--

ASHLEY: Meat Shields, sheet shields.

MATT: All right, so they're going full in arm blade on you.

MARISHA: Also, I'll give you advantage from Silvery Barbs.

TRAVIS: On the save?

MATT: On the next roll he gets, you mean?

MARISHA: On--

LIAM: I mean, they're rolling to hit my AC.

MARISHA: Hang on. What is it?

TRAVIS: You're giving Matt advantage?

TALIESIN: I keep reading to see whether there's anything else I can fucking do.

MARISHA: You have advantage on the next attack roll, ability check, or saving throw within one minute.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: Okay. So the first strike from the guy on the left here is going to be 20?

LIAM: Yep.

MATT: Okay. So with that, you take, for the arm blade over there, 16 points of slashing damage.

LIAM: Got it.

MATT: Second strike. Not great, 15.

LIAM: No, miss.

MATT: Last one, that's going to be a 22.

LIAM: That hits.

MATT: Okay, and that one's going to be--

LIAM: Crawled out of the way like a spider monkey for the second.

MATT: -- 18 points of slashing damage.

LIAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: Oof.

MATT: The other one is going to now open up on its attacks. First one is going to be, that's another 20.

LIAM: Hits, yeah.

TALIESIN: Shit.

MATT: Ooh, that's going to be 19 points of slashing damage.

TRAVIS: Oof.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: Next one, that's going to be a 21.

LIAM: Hits.

TALIESIN: Jesus.

MATT: That's going to be a 24 points of slashing damage.

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: Oh my gosh.

MATT: Then their last strike is going to be natural 19. Yeah.

LIAM: Hits.

MATT: Hits you. That one's going to be 15 points of slashing damage.

LIAM: Okay. He's doing better than you might think.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm. That's real bad.

LAURA: Now there's another Shrike?

MATT: Then they're going to use their bonus action. One of them is going to look at you, and a bonus action is going to use Mind Blur.

TALIESIN: Aw, fuck.

MATT: They just disappear from your sight.

TRAVIS: Oh, cool!

MATT: You watch them. They put a hand up and all of a sudden, (dissipating) they're gone.

TALIESIN: Ah, fuck me.

TRAVIS: Amazing.

SAM: Imogen!

MATT: The other one is going to glance over in your direction too, after seeing what you did to the Willmaster and is going to do the same thing. So, both of them phase out of your eyesight.

TALIESIN: I can still see--

MATT: You can see him, yeah.

TALIESIN: Perfect.

MATT: But yeah.

TALIESIN: I can see one of the Shrikes?

MATT: No, they both vanish from your sight.

TALIESIN: They both vanished.

MATT: They both focused on you.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: They're less worried about him as they are you at the moment. Finishing their go, Laudna, you're up.

MARISHA: All right, I am going to Quicken a spell--

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: -- to do Mirror Image on myself.

TRAVIS: Mirror Image.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Then--

TRAVIS: (demonic whispers) Mirror Image.

MARISHA: And then-- Does it seem like even if I hit with projectile spells against the Willmaster he can still Meat Shield?

MATT: You don't know.

MARISHA: Or is it just--

MATT: You don't know.

LIAM: I think that's actually--

TRAVIS: I think as long as anybody's near him.

MARISHA: I am going to-- I'm actually going to unload some Eldritch Blasts at--

MATT: Just so you're aware, you are lifted and pulled up inside the chamber.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: So, he has three quarters cover from you currently.

MARISHA: I have Spell Sniper.

MATT: You do, so it doesn't even matter.

MARISHA: Can I see the kid that's holding me?

MATT: No, the angle you have down, you are unable to see the kid.

LIAM: The kid's behind that big rock, right?

TALIESIN and MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Hmm. Okay. Jeez Louise.

MATT: What ya doing?

MARISHA: I will-- Okay. I'm going to do, I'm not going to do Eldritch Blast. I'm going to hit him with a Ray of Frost in case, and see if that works.

MATT: Okay, Ray of Frost. You can roll for attack or does he use his dex?

MARISHA: Oh, I roll for attack.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: ♪ (hums) ♪

MARISHA: Yeah, that's a natural 18 for 29.

MATT: That definitely hits. Okay.

SAM: Meat Shield.

MATT: Nope, Meat Shield missed on that.

SAM: (sighs)

MARISHA: Okay, so he's 3d8 and he's slow now.

MATT: Slowed, good to know.

TRAVIS: Which one?

MARISHA: The Willmaster.

TRAVIS: Oh okay, gotcha, gotcha.

LIAM: The View-Master.

MATT: Pagemaster.

SAM: ♪ He's the last laser master♪

TRAVIS: What does slowed mean again?

MATT: Speed is halved.

MARISHA: His speed is--

TRAVIS: Disadvantage on stuff?

LIAM: He can only do one thing.

MARISHA: His speed is reduced by 10.

LIAM: He can't do an action--

MATT: That's the Slow spell.

LIAM: Oh, okay.

MATT: Yeah, the slowed status is just half speed.

TRAVIS: Gotcha.

LIAM: Ah.

MARISHA: 15 frost damage.

LIAM: (waggles tongue)

MATT: 15 frost damage, all righty.

MARISHA: And he's got reduced speed.

MATT: No worries. So that was your Quickened spell?

MARISHA: I Quickened Mirror Image.

MATT: Oh right, no, sorry, that's what it was. Okay, does that finish your turn?

MARISHA: That finishes my turn. So I have Mirror Image up now.

MATT: Okay. The youth of the Ruby Vanguard comes out and is like. (pants, grunts) and is going to go ahead and--

TALIESIN: Can I use my reaction to try and stop that?

MARISHA: Help.

MATT: If you weren't holding an action to do so, probably not.

TALIESIN: Okay, so there's no reaction I can use for someone to grab something or attempt to block that or shut the door?

MATT: That would be the kind of thing that you hold an action for. Unless, a reaction is just something that happens automatically in that regard. So in this instance, I'd say no.

TALIESIN: That's fair.

SAM: -- no choice other than to kill everyone.

MATT: But is going to pull you out open into the space here and--

LIAM: Show of strength.

MATT: He's like. You can see the light glowing in the eyes. He's going to hit you with Blight. So make a constitution saving throw for me.

MARISHA: He's hitting me with Blight?

MATT: Correct.

LAURA: He brought you out?

LIAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: I was hoping that there'd be shit in the door, but. Ooh, that's bad. That's really bad.

TRAVIS: How bad?

MARISHA: I rolled a five, so for 10 total.

MATT: Okay, 33 points of necrotic damage to you.

MARISHA: Okay.

TRAVIS: (panting)

MARISHA: Um, now I have to roll to save.

MATT: Yes, you do.

MARISHA: But does Mirror Image work on this one?

MATT: Mirror Image-- This is a-- It is not an attack roll against you. It is--

TALIESIN: Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

LAURA: It's a save.

MATT: -- a reaction. Let me go check on Mirror Image real fast. Mirror Image.

SAM: This is tense!

MATT: "Each time a creature targets you with an attack during the spell's duration." It's not an attack roll, so no. It's a save.

MARISHA: Okay. 33 points you said?

MATT: Correct.

MARISHA: All right.

SAM: No problem.

MARISHA: That's all right.

MATT: Go ahead and see, make a constitution saving throw, concentration saving throw to see if you can maintain concentration on-- Yeah, you're fine.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: Right?

MARISHA: Yeah, I think so.

MATT: What's your total on that?

MARISHA: Right? Plus my spellcasting modifier.

MATT: You have to beat a 16.

MARISHA: Yes, I do.

MATT: Plus your constitution saving throw.

MARISHA: Oh, my constitution is five, so that is 16.

MATT: So yeah, so you're fine. You just meet it.

TRAVIS: Woo!

MATT: It's going to dart back this way for the rest of his movement.

MARISHA: Not my spellcasting modifier. Okay, that's good to know.

MATT: Holding it from that way.

MARISHA: Oh, well it's the same. So okay.

MATT: This one here is going to-- Hmm. The tide seems to be turning a bit. So this one here, and this one here is going to turn around and is going to both fire crossbow bolts at you since you're up in the air.

TALIESIN: Shit.

MATT: I'd say because you're unable to really move around. You're currently restrained up there.

MARISHA: I'm Mirror Imaged, though.

MATT: Correct, so they have advantage on attacks to hit you, but you roll to see if it hits you or not. So first one is going to be 12.

MARISHA: Miss.

MATT: Rolled to so low with advantage. They're rolling dog shit. Okay, and then the one over here.

TRAVIS: Don't say that.

LIAM: You're doing pretty good here, Matt.

MATT: That's going to be a 23.

MARISHA: Hit.

MATT: It hits you?

MARISHA: Yep.

MATT: Okay. So you take nine points of piercing damage. (thudding impact) Then make another concentration check for me.

TALIESIN: Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

MATT: This one here--

MARISHA: Oh my god.

MATT: -- it's actually going to come forward.

SAM: (whispers) Oh. Right there?

MATT: No, this one's going to keep running.

MARISHA: I rolled a natural one, so Hex is dropped.

SAM: You got something! You got something.

MATT: Okay, so yeah, that one is-- This one is just running away. All right, that finishes their go. Now it is Chetney, with Ashton on deck.

TRAVIS: God, I love being on the fucking moon!

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Running out from cover and I'll run straight through the doorway and I will leap--

TALIESIN: About fucking time.

TRAVIS: -- halfway through my jump, you'll see my head go (fwoomp) like a mascot head and just wolf head.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: I will leap up and fucking headbutt (laughs) the Willmaster with my head before (fwoop) into (deeply) a giant fucking werewolf.

MATT: Go for it.

TRAVIS: Great.

(vocalizing)

MATT: That's first attack?

TRAVIS: First attack.

MARISHA: Is this your first time as a werewolf on the moon?

TRAVIS: No, I arrived here on the--

MARISHA: Oh that's right, that's right.

TRAVIS: A 28 to hit?

MATT: 28 definitely hits.

TRAVIS: Amazing.

MATT: Hold on.

SAM: Roll for Meat Shield.

MATT: This one. As you dart in the air, transform, and you go to headbutt, you watch as this older elder looking figure comes into your periphery, like a side view.

LAURA: Just smiling.

MATT: Like toasty!

(laughter)

MATT: To the side, and (thuds).

TALIESIN: Bastard. Oh god.

MATT: So roll damage on them, what is it?

TRAVIS: It's nine points of damage.

MATT: Nine point of dam--

(laughs)

LAURA: Oh.

TRAVIS: Good headbutt.

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: Is he out?

TRAVIS: Unconscious?

MATT: They are unconscious, yeah.

TRAVIS: I'm like: (deeply) Fucking stay back! I'll try to headbutt him again.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: That's 18 to hit?

MATT: 18 hits. They have no other targets to use their Meat Shield ability.

TRAVIS: That's 11 points of damage?

MATT: 11 points of damage.

TALIESIN: Oh, there's no other Meat Shields within?

LAURA: Within range currently?

TALIESIN: Have we knocked everybody out--

LAURA and MATT: Yes.

TALIESIN: -- who could possibly be Meat Shields? Cool.

TRAVIS: A 20 to hit for the very last one.

MATT: That hits as well.

TRAVIS: And a three plus six, nine points of damage.

MATT: Nine.

TALIESIN: Get out of the way if you can!

TRAVIS: Oh it's so close, isn't it?

SAM: It's close.

TRAVIS: He's doing the.

MATT: The Willmaster is starting to slip. The Willmaster is staggering a little bit on their feet.

TRAVIS: Amazing.

TALIESIN: (shouts) Clear the room, Chet!

TRAVIS: Yeah, that's my-- Yeah, I'll slide to the side here.

TALIESIN: Thank you!

TRAVIS: Just one half step.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Don't--

TRAVIS: I'll-- I'll step over the old man.

LAURA: Non-lethal, non-lethal.

TALIESIN: Oh, I know.

MATT: Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!

TRAVIS: (deeply) Oh, sorry.

(laughter)

MATT: Ashton.

MARISHA: I don't know if there's such a thing as non-lethal damage on an old man.

TALIESIN: How many feet is it directly at what I am attempting to assume?

MATT: 15 feet to get to--

TALIESIN: Only 15, damn. I'm going to take 10 feet back, and I'm going to run straight at the fucker for 25 feet.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: This should be fun.

MATT: You full on.

TALIESIN: I'm--

MATT: -- do the rear up in the charge.

TALIESIN: I've got the hammer like a battering ram. I'm going for what I hope the jaw is. I'm shoving it right in that direction.

TRAVIS: On the button.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Reckless, also, so I assume this is disadvantage?

MATT: Huh?

TALIESIN: Because I can't actually see the fuck? I'm making a very educated guess.

MATT: Well, is this against the Shrike or is this on the Willmaster?

TALIESIN: The Willmaster.

MATT: The Willmaster is not invisible.

TALIESIN: Oh! The two Shrikes.

MATT: Sorry, both-- The two Shrikes are invisible.

TALIESIN: Oh, well, that's fine, then.

TRAVIS: Just to you, right?

MATT: Correct.

LAURA: Yeah, just to him.

TALIESIN: So yeah, in that case, yeah, reckless, fuck it.

MATT: Sure, go for it.

LAURA: This is non-lethal?

TALIESIN: No, yeah, no, I'm using the butt of the-- I'm using the glass to try and knock, you know, knock right in the head.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: 24 to hit.

MATT: That hits, roll damage.

TALIESIN: That is, I don't know why I have to still look this up. Oh, I actually, I think I get a special thing from that. Hold on. Sorry.

SAM: I turn purple and green.

(laughter)

SAM: I have Galactic Invader.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: I think I get an extra d6.

LAURA: Oh, for the space run, yeah.

TALIESIN: When I do the 25.

MATT: Sure.

TALIESIN: I'm so sorry, I'm looking this up again. I'll just do this. I'll start with the damage. Fuck that, I don't like that roll. That's 10, 22 points of damage.

MATT: How do you want to do this?

TRAVIS: Yeah!

LAURA: Yay.

TALIESIN: I am going to run like I'm about to knock down a fucking door and I'm going to scooch up right below you and go for the fucking glass jaw.

MATT: Full on like (shattering echoes).

TRAVIS: Yes!

MATT: They get lifted off the ground by the sheer force of the uppercut.

TALIESIN: Technically they should fly 15 feet.

MATT: And they do.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: (Mortal Kombat announcer) You win!

MARISHA: Holy shit.

MATT: Unconscious on the ground over there.

TRAVIS: (deeply) Damn!

MATT: Orym, I assume you let go at the moment of impact to ensure you don't get dragged along, or do you wish to be dragged along?

LIAM: Well, can I see your initiative order really quick?

LAURA: I'm 13. Oh.

TRAVIS: Orym, Chet, Ash, Fearne.

LIAM: Ashton, oh, there's a ways.

TRAVIS: Orym, Laudna, Chet.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I had another d6, that's fine.

LIAM: I'm going to go with.

MATT: You're going to go with? Okay.

LIAM: I'm going to ride him like a skateboard.

TRAVIS: Damn right.

SAM: Whoa!

MATT: You land of top of the unconscious bleeding body of the Willmaster. Okay.

TRAVIS: ♪ Wipe out ♪

TALIESIN: That, I believe, is all my movement.

MATT: That is.

TALIESIN: I am, I suppose, going to spend a bonus action.

MARISHA: That's pretty good.

TALIESIN: Just making the (guttural shouts) noise, trying to bring it in.

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Yeah, now there's a big raging barbarian and wolf out here, so maybe it's not as appealing to come back.

TALIESIN: Just the people unconscious are slowly vibrating towards me.

MATT: All righty, that finishes your go. All of the various villagers that were running in, including the elder.

TALIESIN: Mm.

LAURA: Aw.

MATT: And Dono were all starting to charge inward. They all (quick gasp).

TRAVIS: You mean Elder Barthie was, too?

LAURA: He was going to attack us.

MATT: Yeah. You were only looking outward. You didn't really notice nearby to see that they themselves were also pulled in by the influence of the Willmaster. But that breaks free for a minute and you see a bunch of them look panicked, looking at what's happened, what's in the middle of here, the fight, the unconscious and bleeding members of their village, and the Willmaster now knocked unconscious and thrown 15 feet through the air. They start to scatter.

TRAVIS: (deeply) Seek shelter.

MATT: That brings us to the end of Ashton's turn. Willmaster is gone. Fearne, you're up, with Imogen on deck.

MARISHA: What do the Shrikes look like? Are they still raring to go?

MATT: The Shrikes are-- watch the Willmaster fall and hit the ground.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: Kind of glance at each other, look, and they're taking in as much detail about you as they can.

LAURA: Oh, shit, kill them. What?

TRAVIS: This is a change of heart for them, Imogen. Why? Why so quick to judge them?

LAURA: Kill them!

(laughter)

MARISHA: Okay, okay.

TRAVIS: We don't learn if we don't communicate.

ASHLEY: Willmaster's still alive?

MATT: Possibly?

ASHLEY: Unconscious? We don't know?

TALIESIN: Unconscious.

SAM: Unconscious.

LAURA: Yeah, we want to suck his... magic.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: (squeals)

SAM: Ask your questions. Awesome.

ASHLEY: How--

(laughter)

ASHLEY: How many feet is the Willmaster from the door?

MATT: How many feet?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: He's about 30 or so feet from the door.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LIAM: It's Will.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LIAM: It's the Willmaster. Will-O-Rama.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Wow!

ASHLEY: All right, so--

SAM: What a pull.

ASHLEY: What we're going to do here--

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Look it up, kids.

ASHLEY: -- is I'm going to use my ring and Telekinesis and take the Willmaster and pick her up and try to bring her inside.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: It's a strength check, but.

LAURA: She's unconscious.

MATT: Right.

ASHLEY: She's unconscious.

MATT: She's unconscious. The ring works towards objects, right?

ASHLEY: Also creatures. Well, maybe? Because it says creature. "You can try to move a huge or smaller creature. Make an ability check with your spellcasting ability contested by the creature's strength."

SAM: Is this the ExU ring?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: Yeah, I think you changed--

SAM: That's totally overpowered? I love it.

LAURA: Yeah, I think he changed--

SAM: Use it!

LAURA: Didn't he change it to just objects?

LIAM: Grab her by the belt buckle.

ASHLEY: Did he? My overpowered ring?

SAM: Yeah, I love it.

MATT: It's okay.

TRAVIS: Grab her by the piercing.

ASHLEY: All right, yeah, he might have.

SAM: You know, like--

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: You can only turn objects that aren't being worn or carried.

ASHLEY: Got it.

MATT: If they were dead, I'd say they'd be an object.

ASHLEY: That's fine.

MATT: They're still alive.

TRAVIS: (off stage) (blowing nose)

(laughter)

LIAM: Wow!

MATT: Aw, Travis.

ASHLEY: All right, you know what?

MARISHA: I'm a "Loony Tunes."

LIAM: Allergies are bad right now.

MARISHA: Short.

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yeah, they really are.

TALIESIN: Those spiky ones. That would be very good if we can make those spiky ones.

TRAVIS: Had a big schnoz.

ASHLEY: Ash, can you help me?

TALIESIN: What do you need?

ASHLEY: Can you go pick her up?

TRAVIS: (sneezes)

SAM: Oh, geez!

TALIESIN: Once these fucks are done, yes.

ASHLEY: How many are left standing?

MATT: There's two Shrike here that were focused on Orym for a minute. There are these two figures, this one that's running away and the one that's floating and glowing that's currently holding Laudna in the air.

TALIESIN: Is he looking weird yet or no? Or is he-- I was hoping that he was telepathically controlled as well. But we'll find out.

MATT: Seems to not be the case.

TALIESIN: Okay.

LAURA: Wait, who? Oh, the Exalted?

MARISHA: The Exalted.

MATT: The 16 year old boy over there.

MARISHA: Yeah, no, he's just awake.

LAURA: Controlled by the--

LIAM: He just turned into a X-Man, he's feeling it.

LAURA: Sleeping one.

SAM: (warbly) I got my learner's permit.

TALIESIN: So we still have some problems.

ASHLEY: We still have some problems, okay. I'm going to Scorching Ray. Put out some Scorching Rays. I'm going to start with the one that's running away.

MATT: Running away? Okay.

ASHLEY: Yes, because--

MATT: The ranges on it is?

ASHLEY: Is I think it's 120.

TALIESIN: 120. That's right, we do--

ASHLEY: Yep, 120 feet.

MATT: 120? Oh yeah, I don't even have to.

LAURA: Which one is running away?

ASHLEY: I think Carmen Sandiego.

MATT: That one.

LAURA: Oh, Carmen Sandiego.

MATT: Carmen Sandiego (laughs). All right, you got to roll for an attack on that.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LIAM: We're burning them up?

TALIESIN: Knocking them out at least.

ASHLEY: 19?

LAURA: Carmen Sandiego!

MATT: 19 hits.

LIAM: Scorching Ray to knock people out?

TALIESIN: No, that's--

LAURA: Some of them are bad.

LIAM: Scorching Ray? Which ones?

LAURA: Carmen Sandiego is bad.

ASHLEY: 16?

LIAM: You don't know.

MATT: 16...

SAM: I don't know either.

TALIESIN: Don't know.

MATT: 16 hits.

ASHLEY: Or, well, let me see here. I wonder if I should do one of each.

TALIESIN: Or I'll also say, we are in combat with a few that nearly killed Chet in one round, so.

ASHLEY: Okay, so I'll do the one to the running away and then the other ones to--

MATT: The two other Shrikes?

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: You got it. All right, so--

ASHLEY: If they land.

MATT: 16 would miss.

ASHLEY: Okay, yeah. 16 miss?

MATT: 16 misses the Shrike.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: The first Shrike. And the second one?

ASHLEY: Another 19.

MATT: That does hit.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: So you have one on him and one on the Shrike.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: Is it my imagination they don't like fire?

ASHLEY: 11 for the first hit.

LAURA: Or it might've just been a surprise.

TALIESIN: It might've just been a surprise fire? No one likes surprise fire.

TRAVIS: I don't really--

ASHLEY: Great.

MATT: The guy's running, (implosion).

MARISHA: Oh hell yeah.

ASHLEY: Great, great, okay.

MATT: He's burning now on the ground across the way.

ASHLEY: Second hit.

TALIESIN: Oh. Well.

ASHLEY: Nine.

TALIESIN: No.

LIAM: We come in peace.

TRAVIS: Was that Carmen?

MATT: Nine damage on the other Shrike?

ASHLEY: Yeah, on the other Shrike.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: And then. Damn, it's a little late, but wait, hang on one second. Question.

MATT: Yes?

ASHLEY: With my spark.

MATT: Yeah?

ASHLEY: Only when I have transformed, do I have--

MATT: Do you get the bonus damage, yes.

ASHLEY: Got it, okay.

MATT: But you get it for an hour.

ASHLEY: I get it for an hour, okay, so good to know. Then as a bonus action a little late, but I'm going to take out Mister.

MATT: Okay. (monkey chittering) Is Mister going to appear by the Shrike or by you, or--?

ASHLEY: I'm going to keep him by me.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Perfect.

MATT: You got it.

TRAVIS: Have you used that pirate thing yet?

ASHLEY: No.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: No. There's a specific context for that one. All right, finishing Fearne's go. Imogen?

TRAVIS: What kind of context?

MATT: You're now mist.

LAURA: Great.

LIAM: Pew.

MATT: FCG.

(laughter)

LAURA: All right.

MATT: Sorry, Laura.

LAURA: No, it's my fault. You know?

SAM: Can I see the floating Exalted from inside? Probably not.

MATT: From where you are? No.

SAM: I can't really see many of these guys.

MATT: Not inside the house, no.

SAM: It's nice in here, though.

MATT: (laughs) You can kind of see one Shrike. That's about it.

SAM: How many? Okay, I'm going to step to the doorway.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Magic? Magic?

SAM: How many hostiles are there that I can see?

MATT: You can see the two Shrikes, one that looks more damaged than the other. You see two Ruby Vanguard figures that are on the sides with crossbows that are also looking like (pants)

TRAVIS: Can you point with your fingers to the Ruby Vanguards with crossbows?

MATT: Right there.

TRAVIS: Right there.

MATT: And right there.

TRAVIS: Got it.

ASHLEY: So wait, there's four left standing? Five?

MARISHA: Yeah, and the Exalted.

LAURA: But some of them--

MATT: The Exalted right there.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: Yeah, we're still a little fucked.

SAM: I am--

(sighs)

MARISHA: Tell the kid to knock it off.

SAM: I'm going to Calm Emotions.

MATT: Calm Emotions on?

SAM: Everybody.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LIAM: Is that a sight thing or is just a range?

SAM: It's a range, 20-foot radius sphere, so--

MATT: Correct.

SAM: 40-foot sphere.

MATT: About as large as a Fireball. So where do you want it to go?

SAM: I mean, I want to get everyone I can see.

MATT: Everyone you can see would be probably if you wanted to get closer over here, you could get--

TRAVIS: You should get the Exalted and leave the guy by the door alone and I'll take care of him.

SAM: I don't know that I know where the Exalted is. Or that he exists.

TRAVIS: Fair.

LIAM: Orym sees him, and I'm up next.

TRAVIS: Fair, fair, fair.

MATT: Okay. So that will get the two Shrike and the gentleman over there. That is a charisma saving throw.

TRAVIS: What's Carmen Sandiego doing?

SAM: Yes.

TRAVIS: Oh, it's her cape.

TALIESIN: Carmen Sandiego's on fire right now.

TRAVIS: I was like: Why is this sticking up?

SAM: It's a low DC because I believe I'm using a feature to cast it.

MATT: That Shrike is going to be an eight.

SAM: Fail.

MATT: Other Shrike. It's going to be an 11.

SAM: Fail.

TRAVIS: Matt, it's okay. It's okay, buddy.

MATT: That guy over there is going to be a 15.

SAM: Succeed.

MATT: Okay, so that--

MARISHA: Which guy?

MATT: This guy right here.

TRAVIS: The guy on the far side.

MATT: Yeah, so the Vanguard guy is still (fearful panting).

SAM: Yeah, I'm going to say: Everybody, there's been a misunderstanding. Let's just talk it out like reasonable adults.

TRAVIS: A little robot comes out of the hut.

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs)

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: As that falls, you can see the various villagers that have taken heavy hits are still groaning unconscious on the ground. The two Shrike, after watching the Willmaster tumble to the ground, blades out from their jagged-looking armaments that are Predator-style coming out of their bracers, look at you, (sighs) and stand resolute and calm for a moment.

SAM: Amazing.

TALIESIN: Does it last?

SAM: It lasts for a little bit.

TALIESIN: What's a little bit?

SAM: You know.

TALIESIN: A round?

MATT: A minute.

SAM: A minute.

TALIESIN: Okay, a minute's fine.

MARISHA: Okay.

ASHLEY: Let's get her inside.

SAM: And if I have any more movement and if I can with my bonus action--

MATT: You got, I'd say 20 more feet of movement.

SAM: I'll move to the old guy on the floor.

MATT: Right here? Okay.

SAM: No, I'm sorry. The elder that the werewolf headbutted in the--

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: Oh, over here, okay.

SAM: -- crushed his skull.

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS and LIAM: (laugh)

TRAVIS: "That the werewolf headbutted."

TALIESIN: Can you do Mass Healing Word?

MARISHA: "And crushed his skull."

LIAM: With the only wolf part of the body.

SAM: I can, but--

MARISHA and LAURA: (laugh)

SAM: I really only have one spell left.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

SAM: So I want to save it just in case.

MARISHA: Little top heavy.

TALIESIN: Fair, fair.

SAM: So I'm going to dump a little healing po-po--

MATT: Okay.

SAM: -- down his old man, down the gaping hole in his face that Chet created.

(laughter)

LIAM: It's just a slit.

LAURA: Sprinkle it.

MATT: Yeah, it's full on "Fist of the North Star" now. The head's just concave.

(laughter)

MATT: As you pour the potion over, it (slurp and pop).

TRAVIS: (laughing) Yeah, yes!

MATT: Like they blew on their thumb hard enough and cartoon reformed.

TRAVIS: Incredible.

MATT: Like, "(weak groans) Thank you."

SAM: (laughs)

TRAVIS: He's being straddled by a werewolf. (laughs)

MATT: "(screams)"

(laughter)

SAM: It's this plus four also?

MATT: Correct.

SAM: So that was, I think it's nine plus four. It's back up to full.

MATT: Yeah. They're back to full health, okay.

SAM: Take it away from me.

MATT: Thank you.

LAURA: Take this from me.

MATT: All right. Finishing FCG's go, Orym, you're up.

LIAM: Okay, so Orym does the Orym thing and tabulates everything that's going on. FCG comes out and plays peacemaker, but he looks up and sees Laudna contorted in the air and then looks over and sees the Exalted hovering.

ASHLEY: Oh, I forgot about that.

LIAM: So he turns to the Exalted and little dark green bordering on black vines and flowers start to snake along the ground towards him and erupt up his body as I transfer the Hex to him.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: I calmly walk forward and I try to knock him the fuck out.

MATT: Go for it.

SAM: Also, I took five points of damage that I had absorbed earlier.

MATT: Right, from holding it.

LIAM: Let's make it a goading attack for extra damage. That is a seven, 18 to hit?

SAM: Goaded!

MATT: Okay, 18 does hit.

ASHLEY: Why did he turn those around?

LIAM: Okay, so that is six plus four.

MATT: Actually, hold on. 18 to hit?

LIAM: Mm-hmm.

MATT: He's going to Shield.

(magical block)

LIAM: Okay.

SAM: Oh, this guy has so many powers!

MATT: Not even looking at you. All of a sudden, one of the hands goes (swoosh) and the Shield (scrape) deflects your first hit.

LIAM: Okay.

MARISHA: She just has--

LIAM: The next one is a 22.

MATT: 22 hits.

LIAM: Okay, so I'm going to go six plus four is 10.

ASHLEY: I mean, you're pretty badass.

MATT: 22 just hits with the Shield up.

MARISHA: He has like one glorious hour of being fully realized before we strip him of it.

LIAM: So he takes 19 points of damage for that one because of the Hex.

MATT: How do you want to do this?

SAM and LIAM: Oh!

LAURA: Oh!

LIAM: Well, it's the flat of the blade. So I'll say that I strike out and the sword just ricochets off of nothing, (disappointed sigh) (quick thud) and I spin the blade around and the flat goes wa-pang onto his forehead.

ASHLEY: Cool.

MATT: He actually turns and is like, "You do not know what you--" (thud) (laughter) (heavy thud) like a sack of potatoes on the ground. But once for a moment there was this terrifying conduit for some sort of power that you've seen do astronomical things through your ally crumple into a scared and unconscious 16-year-old boy.

LIAM: Right, right. Then I'm going to stand, that was 20 to get there, you think, or 15?

MATT: 10 because you went one, two. So yeah, you still have--

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs)

MATT: -- 20, 25 feet of movement.

LIAM: (sighs) Fuck it. I will run to that one and take a swipe at it.

MATT: To the other Shrike?

LIAM: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Oh, the calm one?

LIAM: They're both calm?

MATT: As you look towards them, they're both standing, blades at the side.

LIAM: Then I'll say I run halfway back and see that.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Then I will just hold.

TALIESIN: There's a crossbow person if I recall.

TRAVIS: Yeah, the one closest to you with armor.

TALIESIN: Gotcha, all right.

MARISHA: By the fence.

MATT: Yeah, both of them actually.

LIAM: I can't make it that far.

TRAVIS: No, no, it's that guy.

MARISHA: No, the guy next to you.

TRAVIS: 11:30 on your right at your midnight.

LIAM: Somebody point at it because I can't see.

MATT: This guy's down.

LIAM: That guy's down. What crossbow guy are you talking about?

MATT: Both of these guys are still on the board.

TRAVIS: Yeah, the one that his right hand was pointing to.

LIAM: None of them are in range for anything I can do.

TALIESIN: No.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we were just telling you which one was--

TALIESIN: Letting you know who's still in.

LIAM: Sorry, yeah, I remember they're awake.

TALIESIN: If they see us being violent, do they come out of their calm?

SAM: Let me check my spells.

LAURA: I think only if you do violent stuff against them.

TALIESIN: To them, yeah.

SAM: I don't want to pull a Keyleth here.

TALIESIN: Wow.

SAM: Alternatively--

(mumbling spell description)

MATT: Or if it witnesses any of its friends being harmed.

TRAVIS: Thanks, Keyleth.

SAM: Okay.

ASHLEY: Thanks, Keyleth.

LAURA: Oh, witness? Okay, good.

TRAVIS: Some gifts--

MARISHA: I'm never going to live it down.

TRAVIS: -- keep giving.

SAM: So they're already out of it?

TRAVIS: Is that the Dread Emperor?

TALIESIN: No, they didn't see that.

MATT: You don't know.

SAM: Oh, they didn't see him fall? Okay. Cool, cool, cool.

TRAVIS: The chains.

MARISHA: Oh, when I broke the guy's neck?

MATT: So that finishes your go.

MARISHA: The kid's neck? Yeah, that was the Dread Emperor. Yeah.

MATT: It's now the Shrikes' turn.

LIAM: Somewhere Keyleth's saying, "War. War never changes."

MARISHA: War never changes.

(laughs)

MATT: They turn and lift the unconscious body of the Willmaster, the two of them and pick it up.

TALIESIN: They would've actually, even if I didn't see them, in theory, they would've been in the density well if I can affect, I don't know if I can--

MATT: Would you prefer to affect them?

TALIESIN: It would just slow them down and bring them 10 feet towards me.

MATT: Okay, they shift back.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: Their movement ends there, getting there and they use their action to pick it up and begin to bring it this way, past you, Orym.

TALIESIN: They get that far?

LAURA: Are they trying to bring the Willmaster?

ASHLEY: Do you have a reaction, Orym?

MATT: They have high movement. What's up? It looks they're collecting their boss and they're just backing away.

TALIESIN: Mm. Shit.

MARISHA: I'm not in the sky anymore, right?

MATT: No, you (thud) plummet to the ground.

SAM: Oh shit.

LIAM: Only if they keep moving. Well, they moved past?

ASHLEY: They moved past you.

SAM: Both your ankles break.

MATT: You take--

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs)

MATT: -- five points of bludgeoning damage.

TRAVIS: At least one of them made it.

SAM: Hey!

MARISHA: Me? Ashton, catch me! Oh.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: What? Oh.

LIAM: If they were moving past me, Matt, can I take an attack of opportunity?

MATT: If you want to, yeah.

LIAM: Yeah, I'm going to do a tripping attack on the one closest to me, try to knock him down.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: That's 22 to hit.

MATT: 22 hits.

LIAM: So that's six plus the, 12 plus the Hex dam-- No, no Hex damage. 12, and it's a strength save.

MATT: All right, strength save on him.

TALIESIN: Shit.

MATT: 11, not great.

LIAM: That's not enough. He's down.

MATT: Yep. So he-- (thud) He gets knocked down. From that, Calm Emotions on both of them ends immediately from witnessing--

SAM: Damn it.

MATT: -- the attack on their allies. The body of the unconscious Willmaster (heavy thud) tumbles off to the ground again and both Shrikes both spin to you.

(blades slicing)

TALIESIN: Goddamn it.

MATT: Blades out and at the ready.

LAURA: Isn't that a failed death save?

TRAVIS: That's all right, they used their turn to move the dude instead of attack.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Yep, they wasted their turn.

MARISHA: Great.

MATT: With that, Laudna, you're up.

TALIESIN: No, he's unconscious.

MATT: Well, I mean you're down. You're on the ground.

TALIESIN: He's not dying.

MARISHA: I'm on the ground. Yes, but I'm up.

TALIESIN: He's stabilized.

SAM: Matthew?

MATT: Yeah?

SAM: Mercer?

TALIESIN: Everyone's stabilized.

MATT: Yeah?

SAM: The Willmaster--

TALIESIN: Except for that one guy.

SAM: -- is unconscious and making death saves or stable?

MATT: Unconscious and currently, we'll find out on their turn.

SAM: Okay.

MARISHA: Well, we did non-lethal damage, though, right?

TALIESIN: Yes.

SAM: I guess.

MATT: Correct.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: If you do non-lethal damage and bring him to zero, they're going to be okay. You're not trying to kill them.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: It's in the lethal damage since-- Now you haven't really seen the blow--

LAURA: He's bleeding out.

MATT: -- that took him down necessarily, not clearly, but he's not-- I'll just tell you. He's not in danger yet.

MARISHA: Okay.

SAM: Way to break my immersion.

MATT: I know.

(laughter)

MARISHA: These guys are focusing on Orym.

LIAM: They are.

MARISHA: They seem to be very focused on him at the moment.

MARISHA: And are no longer focused at trying to get away with their boss?

MATT: Not at the moment.

MARISHA: Not at the moment.

SAM: Kill them.

MATT: There was a moment of--

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'm going to fuck him up.

MATT: -- pause and parley in which their strategy was--

TRAVIS: They got swords in their arms. Fuck them.

MATT: -- take him and leave.

MARISHA: They do have swords on their arms, which is pretty cool. But I'm going to unload some Eldritch Blasts. I'm going to Quicken a spell and I'm going to Quicken Eldritch Blast.

LIAM: Non-lethal Eldritch Blast.

TALIESIN: Well, to them?

TRAVIS: Not these guys.

(laughter)

MATT: I'm going to say there's not much of a non-lethal Eldritch Blast.

LIAM: No, I know! (laughs)

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: So wait there's--

MATT: I know.

MATT: -- the one that's on the ground.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: He's just fallen over.

MATT: He just got ripped by Orym.

LIAM: Yeah, I hit him in the shin.

MARISHA: I'll hit the one that's standing.

LIAM: I aimed upward.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Ooh, yes.

SAM: With all three?

MARISHA: With all three because I'm going to do it again.

SAM: Oh, shit!

MARISHA: Quicken an Eldritch Blast.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: (rapid fire)

MARISHA: Okay, so that is going to be, the lowest one is 14.

MATT: 14 misses.

MARISHA: Wait, 11 plus five is 16.

MATT: Still misses.

MARISHA: Okay, so one misses, the other one is 25 and 24.

MATT: Hits. Hits.

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: Are you sure that's a video game?

SAM: No, it's a movie.

LIAM: That's Contra.

MARISHA: 18, 10, sorry. Here we go. Okay, okay.

SAM and LAURA: (laugh)

MARISHA: And then that is going to be-- Ooh! Ooh, that's good.

TRAVIS: Oh, that is good.

MARISHA: Okay, that's going to be 15 and 14--

ASHLEY: Woo.

MARISHA: -- damage on those two hits. I rolled a 10 and a nine.

MATT: How do you want to do this?

TRAVIS: Yeah!

LAURA: Yes!

ASHLEY: Let's go, bish.

MARISHA: I'm real mad, so they're just like homing beacons. I want to arc them around this rock and it just like fucking sandwiches them.

MATT: You got it. So as you see the blades out, it crouches down and goes to leap towards Orym, but before its feet can even leave the ground, one (impact) hits it up in the air. The other one hits it from the side and it almost corkscrew gets blown off of the side and lands.

LAURA: Sweet.

ASHLEY: Cool.

MATT: (clattering thud)

MARISHA: Okay.

LAURA: That's sick.

MARISHA: That was Quickened one. So I'm going to do it again to the other one.

MATT: The other one? Okay. Now, the other one because it is prone, your attack's at disadvantage.

MARISHA: Spell Sniper.

MATT: Spell Sniper, does that ignore prone?

MARISHA: Well, I guess it just ignores--

MATT: I think it just ignores--

MARISHA: -- three-quarter cover.

MARISHA: -- three-quarters cover. So I didn't know if that-- Okay.

MATT: So yeah. So it's still--

TRAVIS: Do it.

MARISHA: Well, one's a natural 20. Well, now they're all at disadvantage. I rolled three.

TALIESIN: There's the other, you got the two other fucks too.

MATT: I'm going to double-check this just to make sure.

TALIESIN: I'm pretty sure prone is still a problem.

MATT: Yeah, you just ignore half-cover and three-quarters cover. Yeah, so it's still--

TALIESIN: Prone-- So is Percy.

MARISHA: Oh boy.

MATT: Yeah, you know.

MARISHA: Okay.

TALIESIN: De Rolo says no.

MARISHA: I think, if that's at disadvantage, then I think they all miss.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Fuck.

MARISHA: Yep.

MATT: The other ones (dull thuds) slam into the dirt next to the one that's on the ground. The one on the ground is like, "(grunts)" grabbing its side and seeing the tide turn rapidly.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: That finish your turn?

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: All righty. Laudna's go. It's now the two Ruby Vanguard figures. They, actually, actually no, at the end of your turn--

LAURA: Oh, here they come.

TRAVIS: What?

ASHLEY: He's been turning those around.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: The cattle are spooked.

TRAVIS: What?

SAM: Whoa!

TRAVIS: What?!

LIAM: The cattle are spooked. (ramming impact)

(exclaiming)

MATT: Ram through the gate.

TALIESIN: Oh no.

MARISHA: Oh my god!

TRAVIS: Oh shit!

LIAM: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Watch out!

LAURA: Oh no, they're going to trample everyone.

LIAM: Oh no!

SAM: No!

LIAM: It's like "City Slickers."

LAURA: Oh no, it--

TALIESIN: Oh fuck, no!

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Fuck, this is bad.

LAURA: Are they trampling the old man?

TALIESIN: This officially got bad.

MARISHA: Oh my god!

MATT: The one that you just poured the potion in is like, "Thank you."

(laughter)

LIAM: (moans)

MATT: "(screams)"

LAURA: Oh no!

(laughter)

SAM: ♪ Rum da-ba-bum-dum ♪

MATT: Well here. They don't quite get to him.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: No!

MATT: Impacting and pushing it through and then getting their movement, they're just on the cusp of it.

TRAVIS: (intense cattle bray)

LAURA: Oh god!

MATT: You have an opportunity here to try and quell this sudden stampede.

LAURA: Chaos.

TALIESIN: Are you going to be okay?

LIAM: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Okay.

LIAM: Yes.

MARISHA: Can you calm their emotions?

MATT: Okay.

SAM: I don't know.

TALIESIN: Yes!

SAM: They have to be humanoid.

MARISHA: Oh, really?

SAM: But I do Speak with Animals.

MATT: This guys is going to--

MARISHA: Oh, that's right.

MATT: -- run this way--

LAURA: Oh no. He's going to tell people.

MATT: -- and dart off that way. This guy also is going to run off this way.

LAURA: Fuck.

MATT: All right, finishing their go. Chetney, you are up with Ashton on deck.

TRAVIS: (laughs) Fucking amazing.

MARISHA: Wowzers. Wowzers!

TRAVIS: I'm going to look down at the old man who's about to be trampled and say: I fight for the user. (laughs) I'll take off running this way.

MATT: This way?

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'm going to run in front of the bulls.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

LIAM: Oh man, you are--

SAM: Pamplona?

LIAM: -- cresting--

TRAVIS and LAURA: Yep.

LIAM: -- in front of a charge of bulls.

TRAVIS: I'm doing the Heisman on their heels.

LAURA: Awesome.

(laughter)

MATT: Whoa!

TRAVIS: Whoa!

LIAM: They're on your left the whole way.

ASHLEY: Run across their backs.

LAURA: (mock dramatic) Ah!

TRAVIS: Let's see, so five, 10, 15, 20, 25.

LAURA: Mufasa!

TRAVIS: I think I have 15 more feet. Can I get all the way up to--

MATT: The Shrike on the ground? Or what are you trying to get to?

TRAVIS: He's out of sight, right?

MATT: Correct.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Yeah, I'll go up to the Shrike on the right because nobody can even see him.

MATT: You got it.

TRAVIS: I'll use my bonus action to scrape alongside my thighs with my (laughs) my sweet ass claws, with my Crimson Rite and I'll take five points of damage.

MATT: All righty.

TRAVIS: I will take the first of two swipe attacks (slashes) at the downed--

MATT: Go for it.

TRAVIS: Okay. That's a natural 20. Awesome.

MATT: You have advantage on him by the way, because he's prone.

TRAVIS: I got a natural 20.

MATT: Yeah. So the first attack, it's fine.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

SAM: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Just to make sure.

MATT: Just letting you know for the next one, you can do that.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

TRAVIS: 16.

SAM: ♪ (humming) ♪

TRAVIS: 22 points of damage.

MATT: All righty, on that first hit. All righty.

TRAVIS: And then I think I roll, I have not rolled a lot of crits. I think when I crit, I roll a, I don't see it, it's fine. I'll take the second one.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: With advantage. I thought I rolled an extra damage die. 27 to hit.

MATT: That hits.

TRAVIS: That's awesome. Seven plus six plus five, 11, 18 points of damage.

MATT: 18 points of damage. How do you want to do this?

TRAVIS: Hey.

MARISHA: (fingers snap)

TRAVIS: Actually, I come over at once and I go (grunt) and open his thorax.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: Just the the rib cage--

TRAVIS: Just silly string.

MATT: Is just, yeah, open. (splatters) across the-- (laughs). The well-like structure to the right of you is splattered with dark purple and red crimson gore. He is done.

TRAVIS: Amazing. I think that was all my speed. Bonus action, action, that's my turn.

MATT: All right, finishing Chetney's go. Ashton, you're up.

TALIESIN: Okay, so we have a problem over here.

LAURA: Because this guy's running?

TALIESIN: No, I've got people on the ground. Somebody else can deal.

LIAM: He's behind you.

TALIESIN: There is nothing I can do about him.

ASHLEY: I can try to take care of that.

TALIESIN: Okay.

LIAM: I think I can get the other guy, too.

TALIESIN: All right, I'm going to--

MATT: Both the guys running are still heavily wounded from the Fireball that opened this up.

TRAVIS: This guy over here, you mean?

MATT: Both of them, they're like "(pants)."

MARISHA: One of the runners.

TRAVIS: I think we saw them take off, so maybe we can try and chase them down.

LAURA: Were there any other ones that got away or is that everybody that was there?

MATT: All the ones that you saw. It's only been a few seconds, at this point, and you've made a lot of loud noises. So you get the sense everyone in the village has heard this.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: All right.

SAM: We can still join the caravan, right?

LIAM: (laughs)

LAURA: If we kill everyone on the caravan, we can take the caravan.

SAM: We are the caravan.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Well, shit's going sideways.

MATT: What you got, Ashton?

TALIESIN: I'm going to try and hop. I see where the animals are about to trample a bunch of people who are unconscious on the ground. There are two people that are-- How many people are in the--

MATT: One, two, three that are immediately in danger.

TALIESIN: Okay, I do not have enough action to carry all of them.

MATT: I'd say you can carry two, since they're limp, or one of them is conscious.

SAM: Get what you can get. I'll get the other guy.

TALIESIN: You can get the other guy?

SAM: Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

TALIESIN: Well, the stampede-- Okay, I'm going to assume--

(questioning moan)

SAM: I'll have to. You can't do it all, Ashton.

TALIESIN: Okay, so I'm going to grab the two that I can get in the front, and I'm going to pull them 10 feet back.

MATT: Okay, into the house or off to side?

TALIESIN: No, no, just onto the, right there. I want to leave myself a little bit of running room.

MATT: You got it. So both of these pulled off to the side.

TALIESIN: So that's my action and part of my movement? Or is that just movement?

MATT: That's your action. Because you have to grab him and grab and then move back with them.

TALIESIN: Okay, then the last thing I'm going to do is I'm going to try and head in front of FCG and sort of be a meat shield. Right in front of the bulls.

MATT: Okay, yeah. Carrying both of them would halve your movement, so I don't think you have the movement--

TALIESIN: I would drop them then, at that point, though, and then I would. I'm going to try and use the rest.

MATT: Right, so five, 10, 15, 20 to grab them. 25, 30, 35, 40 to bring them back here and drop them.

TALIESIN: Oh, I'm done then?

MATT: How much movement do you have left?

TALIESIN: 40 is my movement.

MATT: So yeah, that's where you are, unfortunately.

TALIESIN: Okay, I'm just going to have (grumbled) faith that you're going to do your thing.

SAM: Have faith in the Changebringer.

TALIESIN: (grumbling) Yeah, all right.

SAM: She's got a plan for everyone.

MATT: Ashton's done. Fearne, you're up.

TALIESIN: Some that might be--

MATT: Imogen--

TALIESIN: -- getting trampled.

MATT: -- and FCG on deck. What you got?

ASHLEY: All right.

TALIESIN: Fuck.

ASHLEY: I'm going to Scorching Ray again to the runners. I know he's already down, right?

TALIESIN: Oh yeah.

MARISHA and MATT: Yeah, he's down.

MATT: There's one guy over here that you can't even really quite see--

MARISHA: This guy and that guy.

MATT: -- from where your vantage point is. You can try and move.

ASHLEY: All right. I'll try to move around and try to look around.

MATT: You have to move in front of the bulls to do so, just so you know. Are you cool with that?

MARISHA: If you try and get--

ASHLEY: That's fine.

MARISHA: -- that guy, I can get the other runner.

LIAM: I have a good chance on the runner as well.

ASHLEY: Which one are you thinking?

MARISHA: I can probably get this guy.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: And Orym can, if you can get that guy over there.

ASHLEY: Okay, so I'll grab--

MARISHA: To keep you from getting trampled.

ASHLEY: I'll send some Scorching Rays that way.

MATT: To this guy? Okay.

ASHLEY: Is this one down? I know we knocked him down, but.

TALIESIN: He's on fire.

MATT: Yeah, he's on fire and not moving.

ASHLEY: Okay, so we'll just leave him be.

MATT: All right, so this guy's running away.

ASHLEY: All right, so I'll unload on him.

MATT: "(heavy breathing)"

LAURA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Okay. We got a natural 20.

MARISHA and SAM: Ooh!

ASHLEY: We got--

SAM: I'll take that.

ASHLEY: We got a 19.

MATT: Hits.

ASHLEY: And we got a 17.

MARISHA: Damn!

MATT: Okay, all three hit. The first one doubles. Go ahead and roll the first 2d6.

ASHLEY: Then since Mister's out, I get an extra d8. Is that for each hit or just once?

TALIESIN: This could've gone worse.

LAURA: Is there Benadryl in the medicine cabinet?

MATT: Let me look at your ability.

TALIESIN: Use your imagination!

LAURA: Go look. I don't know, go check.

TALIESIN: (laughs)

SAM: What is that?

LIAM: This is a shit storm.

TALIESIN: This is a serious shit storm. This went really poorly.

MARISHA: Stuck in my elbow crease.

SAM: You need one of ours?

TALIESIN: This is my fault. Well, no, I'm blaming Travis, too.

SAM: It doesn't do that.

MARISHA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: It feels like that would be a lot to do for each.

TALIESIN: Some combat would be great.

MATT: I don't think that's--

MARISHA: It's okay, it's possible I've never washed this hoodie.

MATT: Well, it might be. Anyway, roll damage and I'll let know in a second.

SAM: A million.

ASHLEY: Mm, it's fine.

MATT: So the first two were doubled.

MARISHA: (laughs)

SAM: 13.

ASHLEY: Oh, first two are doubled?

MATT: Because you crit, yeah.

ASHLEY: Because--

LAURA: I would just roll it all again.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay.

LAURA: Because, yeah.

TALIESIN: Mm.

ASHLEY: Oof. So five.

SAM: 10.

ASHLEY: So 10.

MATT: So you did 10 damage on the first, okay.

ASHLEY: Nine for the second one.

MATT: Okay, 19.

ASHLEY: Oh yeah, that's-- There's a third. Nine again.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: And the d8? Two.

LAURA: It's so frustrating.

ASHLEY: It's so annoying.

MATT: To one damage roll or spell. So there's an additional d8 on top of that.

ASHLEY: Okay, so it's an additional two.

MATT: Okay, so 30 points of fire damage. He is very much running away.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: "(frantic breathing)" (spell impact) "(groaning)" (spell impact) "(heavy, anticipatory breathing)" (intense impact)

(laughter)

MATT: Falls to his knees and crumples.

ASHLEY: Sorry!

TALIESIN: Are we?

ASHLEY: All right, so it's Mister's turn now.

MATT: It is.

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: "(monkey hoots)"

ASHLEY: Hi, boo. All right, so--

MATT: He can fly.

MARISHA: He can fly?

LAURA: ♪ He can fly♪

TALIESIN: Yeah, he's a flying monkey.

MARISHA: Wait, since when?

SAM: Flying monkey that can throw poop.

TALIESIN: Always. He's a flying monkey with a gun!

MARISHA: Could he always fly?

LAURA: Yeah!

TALIESIN: Poop gun!

MARISHA: When has he been able to fly?

MATT: Yeah, he has a fly speed of 30 feet, yeah.

LIAM: I didn't know that.

ASHLEY: Oh yeah.

LAURA: He's a magical--

ASHLEY: Yeah, oh yeah! He can fly.

(laughter)

LIAM: I don't remember that at all.

MATT: Yeah. (laughs)

MARISHA: (laughs)

LIAM: I don't think I've ever seen it.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: All right, so--

SAM: He starts talking, (as Pâté) "Hello, it's me!"

(laughter)

SAM: "I've always talked like this."

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Who else is still conscious that we have up?

MARISHA: Pâté just possesses--

MATT: That guy.

ASHLEY: Just him?

MARISHA: -- Mister.

TALIESIN: Wait, what? No.

LAURA: Who?

MATT: (laughs) Wait, what? Huh? Who?

LIAM: Mister doesn't see me either.

ASHLEY: Maybe he doesn't really need to do much of anything.

LAURA: Oh, that guy running.

SAM: Just set fire to the village.

MATT: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Yeah, might as well.

MATT: Scorched Earth.

MARISHA: May as well.

TALIESIN: It's the only way to be sure.

LIAM: We just got to go back into the house and destroy everything.

ASHLEY: I think that's good, because--

TALIESIN: Break all the pots.

ASHLEY: -- he can throw Flaming Seed at 60 feet. Is he even remotely close to that if he moves forward?

MATT: His movement is 30.

ASHLEY: Because if not I'll just stop.

MATT: 30, he can get up to there. Nah, nah.

ASHLEY: Yeah, that's okay. That's my turn, and that's Mister's turn. We'll just wait it out.

MATT: All right. FCG, you're up.

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: Wait, no, I can go.

MATT: Oh no, you can move! Right, yeah.

LAURA: I'm a cloud.

MATT: You are.

LAURA: Can I fly out?

MATT: This is you.

LAURA: What's my movement?

SAM: Really make the most of this turn.

TALIESIN: Super fucking fast.

MATT: 300 feet.

LAURA: I am going to make the most of this turn.

TRAVIS: 300 feet!

LAURA: I'm going to come out and fly up.

LIAM: Yeah, scout.

LAURA: I want to see how many people have noticed the sound and how many people are coming to run to the area that we're in.

MATT: Okay. (zooming takeoff) You dart out, high up into the sky. Make a perception check for me.

TALIESIN: You can scout for us.

LAURA: Yeah, I can still let you guys know what I see.

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: Overwatch.

LAURA: Nine.

SAM: (laughs)

MATT: Okay. You don't pick up any specific details. But indeed--

LAURA: I can see people moving!

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah.

MATT: You see that a lot of folks have run to their homes. People came out to see the commotion of the arrival of this late night caravan. With the explosions and the sounds of violence, people have scattered back to their homes. You can see the little bit of flames of the caravan as it arrived on what would be the same southern edge of the village that you would come to if you were heading northward. You can see there are some figures that are gathering to come here. It will be a little bit of, you know, it was a brief time. But that's the best you can make out.

LAURA: Okay. I'll say that to the group. People are definitely heading this direction.

MATT: Okay, and you can dart back down just as fast.

LAURA: Sure.

MATT: (rapid ascent and descent) If you wanted to. Or stay up there if you want to.

TRAVIS: It might help, it might help us keep an eye on--

MATT: That's true.

LAURA: To stay out? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LIAM: On the runner.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: I'll denote this as you being up in the sky.

LAURA: All right.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: With that, FCG?

LIAM: We've got Imogen on the ones.

TRAVIS: You never looked better.

SAM: Question that will form what I do here.

MATT: Yeah?

SAM: Is the ground stone?

MATT: The ground around here appears to be mostly stone and shale with a bit of, yeah, rocky earth.

SAM: Enough to perform a Stone Shape on?

MATT: You know what?

TALIESIN: Ooh! I like where you're going.

MATT: Yeah, I'd say so.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: Yeah, you can definitely do that.

SAM: Okay, then I will. Where's the guy?

TALIESIN: Right behind you.

SAM: He's right behind me. And what kind of a fellow is he? Or she?

MATT: On the ground?

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: You see what looks to be a rough and tumble-- Sorry, a roughly dressed, a Reiloran figure that looks a little gaunt. Definitely a farm hand in disposition on the ground, unconscious.

SAM: Okay, I will--

TALIESIN: That might Stone Shape him.

SAM: -- turn to him, get down sort of covering him up with my body, and I'll just say: Just stay low. I'm going to Stone Shape a ramp over us.

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Sick!

MARISHA: Cool.

MATT: That is awesome!

TRAVIS: (intense braying)

MATT: (rock shifting) You form this thick, red rock ramp that shoots up over the two of you as you protect their body. Is that your turn?

SAM: That's my action, yeah.

TRAVIS: This map is fucking chaos. I love it.

MATT: Okay, Orym you're up.

LIAM: All right with a passive perception of 31 I totally heard the runner going, so Orym's going to then sprint to try to catch the runner. He's going to get to here. I'm going to use Seedling and throw out a vine and try and yank the guy back.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Yes!

MATT: So he gets a dex save.

LIAM: Mm-hmm.

MATT: That is going to be a 12.

LIAM: 12. Fails.

MATT: "(comical grunt)" (yank) Gets pulled back--

TRAVIS: Wow.

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: -- and banged into the shit around it.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

(rapid thudding)

MATT: Yep.

LIAM: As soon as I yank, I turn Seedling around and I have the hilt ready to catch it in the back of his head. That's a 25 to hit.

SAM: Ooh!

MATT: That definitely hits.

LIAM: We'll call it a tripping attack.

TALIESIN: Definitely trippin'.

LAURA: (laughs)

LIAM: (laughs) Plus six is eight.

TALIESIN: (groans) I feel bad, that was stupid.

LAURA: Yeah. (laughs) I feel bad laughing.

ASHLEY: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Such a lazy delivery.

TALIESIN: Damn it.

LIAM: 18 points of non-lethal damage just waiting.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: You know.

TRAVIS: I do.

MATT: Takes the hit and is out cold in your grasp before (thuds).

TALIESIN: God damn!

TRAVIS: Atta boy, Orym! Atta boy!

ASHLEY: We did it, we did it, we did it!

TRAVIS: Hex him. (laughs)

MATT: All right, so.

MARISHA: (laughs)

TALIESIN: We still have cattle.

MATT: The cattle begin to scatter. I'll say for the purposes of this, the people that were immediately in danger of this have been pulled off to the side or have been situated in a protective place as the two cattle that were rushing your direction begin to dart forward, their massive horns in front of them, the weight clamoring unto the stone. Yeah. No, it holds. You feel it crack and bits of dust and stone clamoring off, as you hear the (stampeding hooves) of the heavy, thunderous hooves begin parading over before-- (heavy thuds) They continue to rush out into the streets. The rest of you dart off to the side and keep low and keep off to the side.

TRAVIS: Matt, I'm definitely suplexing a buffalo and starting to eat it in front of everybody.

SAM: (laughs)

MATT: Fuck yeah, dude.

TRAVIS: No, I'm just--

MATT: Let's go.

(laughter)

MATT: Let's go!

TRAVIS: (bestial roar)

(laughter)

TRAVIS: (vicious gnawing)

(laughter)

SAM: We're friends!

TRAVIS: (roaring)

SAM: We are allies.

TRAVIS: (roars) We're friends!

(roars)

MATT: I've often said, there's nowhere near enough suplexing in this campaign. So, I hold you to task on this.

TRAVIS: Okay, I'm doing it.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: I get one. It's been so long!

(growling)

ASHLEY: Chet!

MARISHA: The old man wakes up. He's like, "Not Joseph!"

MATT: I know.

MARISHA: "My entire livelihood!"

LIAM: For a split second, it's not Chetney. It's just Travis on the moon just tearing into it.

TRAVIS: Ah!

MATT: All right, so at this moment, as all the chaos is happening, the hooves begin to scatter throughout the surrounding parts of the village. You can see the lights gathering over by where the caravan is and you're still in a very seriously tense moment. Elder Barthie steps out of the doorway to the rest of you goes, "This has gone real tits up." "What-- What do we do? What do you do?" "What's the plan?" "You never saw me. We didn't talk."

ASHLEY: Right.

MATT: "What can we do to help?"

ASHLEY: Let's start gathering the bodies.

TALIESIN: We got to clean up.

ASHLEY: We got to clean up.

TRAVIS: Yeah, bodies go, I think underneath the floor in the house.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: And maybe the Willmaster goes in the hole with somebody else, and we leave it open?

MARISHA: Yes.

ASHLEY: I'm going to start dragging the guy from over here.

LIAM: Do you got any Stone Shape left in you, or that's done?

SAM: I--

ASHLEY: I'm going to start dragging.

SAM: To do what?

LIAM: To make a little hidey hole.

SAM: I can cover something. Don't we have a portable hole?

ASHLEY: We have the portable. We can put him in the portable for a second.

LIAM: Awesome.

SAM: When others come, we can just say that it was a stampede. That's what caused all the chaos and they knocked over a lamp, which made a 40-foot-wide explosion.

TALIESIN: I am already opening up the hole.

MARISHA: I mean--

TRAVIS: And one of the bulls exploded when it went through the fence.

(laughter)

MATT: It's an odd moment where there's been so much chaos in this point. And then after a brief few moments of you conversing and figuring out the plan begin to push around, the silence falls in the space behind it as the creatures begin to push outward. And you can hear the shouts and conversation on the periphery. You begin to pull the bodies back into the dome of the Elder. And you set down the hole and you begin to prepare whatever it is you wish to do in the time that you have to keep from furthering the chain of danger that seems to be following at your heels every step since arrival. As you clamber in, seeing shapes approaching from the far end of the village pathway. Closing the door into the Elder's hut, the Elder walking in circles. We're going to finish the episode there.

TRAVIS: Oh my god! That was the most chaotic map. I fucking loved it.

MATT: That got wild.

TRAVIS: We had a stampede, dude! That was great!

TALIESIN: I feel so bad about this.

MATT: That was wild.

TRAVIS: Have we ever had a stampede before?

TALIESIN: They need those cattle, man. I want to run after them.

ASHLEY: It's a good distraction.

MATT: They're good wranglers.

TALIESIN: Yeah, okay.

MATT: They'll pull them around. They know what they're doing.

TRAVIS: They'll fuck up the ground. They won't be able to tell footprints.

MATT: It ended up working in your favor.

TRAVIS: And I'm super full now.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: That teleport was fucking great.

MATT: Yeah, that really set it off. Like the explosion already spooked them, but they had no real point of reference. So then as soon as the Shrikes appeared, it spooked them further and turned them in a direction. And then they all charged the edge of that fence.

LAURA: That's amazing.

MATT: It was a perfect chain of events. But anyways, we'll pick up from this tense moment and see what transpires after next episode. Thank you all for joining us. We love you very much, and is it Thursday yet?

SAM: Yeah!

MATT: Good night.