Transcript:Bittersweet Reunions

Pre-show

MATT: Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

ALL: (garbled) We play Dungeons & Dragons!

MATT: Before we jump into our episode tonight, we have some announcements to get through, beginning with our sponsor for the evening, Nordverse.

TRAVIS: Nordverse.

MATT: Marisha.

MARISHA: Folks.

TRAVIS: Oh.

MARISHA: We all witnessed Sam's pop culture masterpiece that was the Nordverse, with the incredible plot, memorable characters, and NordVPN's threat protection guarding your every click, NordVPN holds a special place in our hearts. Which is why it's time to reboot it. You see, reboots are everything these days. They capitalize on nostalgia, fill nerds with familiarity, and tweak old IPs just enough so it's not divisive. And most importantly, they make bank.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Which is why I am thrilled to announce NordVPN's reboot of the Nordverse, the ReVerse.

(oohing)

MATT: Okay, I'm down, I'm down.

MARISHA: It's million dollar idea, baby. Okay, let me ask.

TRAVIS: Oh no.

MARISHA: Question for all of you.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: What is the most important part of a blockbuster reboot?

TRAVIS: A compelling narrative?

TALIESIN: Relatable characters?

MATT: Challenges, characters--

ASHLEY: Relatable challenges to overcome.

MARISHA: Unnecessary CGI. That is correct. The ReVerse promises a digital feast with headache-inducing special effects that definitely, probably could've been done practically. Like this! And we're hitting all the reboot must-haves, like modernizing fan favorite characters.

ASHLEY: Woo!

MARISHA: You see, Cryptonic Override is back, baby. But she's--

LAURA: Yeah!

MARISHA: -- no longer defined by her love of BlackWillow69. Oh, no no no no. She's an impendent woman who passes the Bechdel test.

MATT: She's impending.

LAURA: I'm impending!

MARISHA: She's an independent woman!

TRAVIS: You've been drinking.

MARISHA: Yes! Don't take her mommy juice, okay? Because she is a Hashtag GirlBoss, okay?

ASHLEY: Let's go!

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MARISHA: Also, to capture your TikTok-addled brains, we have to open with a gratuitous fight scene framed perfectly for vertical overlay.

LIAM: That's true.

ASHLEY: Oh shit.

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: All right, Hall H. Are you ready for a sneak peek of Nordverse / the ReVerse?

(cheering)

MARISHA: Come on, give it to me! That's right! And, action.

ASHLEY: Holy GoGurt, Cryptonic Override, we sliced through the Binary Barrier.

LAURA: Great gatekeeping, GaleBoss69. Now all we've got to do is activate the quantum guillotine before the Bro Bots destroy the Multi-Nordverse.

ASHLEY: Bro Bots? Jeez Louise. Like their bath towels, their cybersecurity is--

ASHLEY and LAURA: Crusty.

(laughter)

LAURA: They should've used NordVPN, the fastest VPN on the planet with a dark web monitor that guards your online accounts.

ASHLEY: Say it with your whole chest, sister.

TRAVIS: Oh boy.

ASHLEY: With their Threat Protection Feature-- I can't see with these on. NordVPN will--

(laughter)

ASHLEY: NordVPN can easily foil scams and "mallware"--

LAURA: Malware.

ASHLEY: Malware! Like this spoon-gagging... I just like going to the mall. Malware, like this Spoon-Gagging Gigaflop I'm about to poundcake out of these sweaty Fuddruckers.

LAURA: Tweedle-D and Tweedle-C are Jorp Jomped.

ASHLEY: Cryptonic Override?

LAURA: Yeah?

ASHLEY: Send those Bro Bots back to Outback Steakhouse!

LAURA: Bloomin' Onion Online in three, two, one. (gasps) Oh no, it can't be.

ASHLEY: What is it? Did your snotty kid brother--

(laughter)

LAURA: You can do it.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Did your snotty kid brother-- (laughter)

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Did your snotty kid brother-- (laughs) put a-- (laughs) Fuck. Put a tuna fish sandwich in your G-Drive again?

LAURA: Negatory.

ASHLEY: Fuck!

LAURA: I sense an anomaly at the edge of the multiverse. But it can't be. It looks like an obstacle my character has faced before, but somehow bigger, more elite, more computer generated.

ASHLEY: That is so rebooty.

LAURA: We need to warn the Space President and tell her to go to NordVPN.com/CriticalRole to get four extra months of protection risk-free with a 30-day money back guarantee.

(electronic train whistle)

LAURA: That's our ride, GirlBoss69. GaleBoss69. Hashtag. Let's go save the Multi-Nordverse!

ASHLEY: My girls-only STEM club isn't even going to believe this.

LAURA: I know.

MARISHA: And scene. It's already been greenlit for three seasons. Matt, ReVerse to you.

ASHLEY: Wow.

MATT: I mean, I'll watch it.

TALIESIN: I will--

(laughter)

MARISHA: Correct.

TRAVIS: I mean, that was golf clap.

MARISHA: That's what what we're banking on.

TRAVIS: I don't know if we've ever had to take three restarts.

MATT: Well done.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I'm very sorry. I can't read.

TALIESIN: Sold the show, honestly. Sold the show.

MATT: You did great.

ASHLEY: I'm hot.

(laughter)

LAURA: Got a lot of gear on right now.

MATT: Marisha, you got something to talk about, too.

MARISHA: I do, the finale of Candela Obscura: Circle of the Crimson Mirror aired last week. Kudos to landing the plane, my guy.

TRAVIS: Yo.

MARISHA: Huge shout out to our incredible cast. Taliesin Jaffe.

(cheering)

MARISHA: Aimee Carrero.

ALL: Yeah!

MARISHA: Alex Ward.

(cheering)

MARISHA: Imari Williams.

TRAVIS: So good, man.

MARISHA: And the heartbreak prince himself, Liam O'Brien.

TRAVIS: Man, that title.

ASHLEY: Heartbreak prince!

TRAVIS: Put it on the back of those sweatpants.

MARISHA: Ooh! A little Juicy Couture action.

LIAM: I'm not against it.

TRAVIS: Heartbreak prince.

ASHLEY: Heartbreak prince.

TALIESIN: No, don't, stop.

MATT: You lose the middle of it in the crack. The heartbrea-ince.

(laughter)

LAURA: That's my birthday present to him this year.

MARISHA: If you have not seen it, this chapter truly teeters on the edge of survival as the investigators work together to confront their past deeds, traumas, relationships, and all in an effort to try and aid their poor, poor mentor. It's really good. Go watch it. I personally love how Liam brought in some of his heritage, which was super cool.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Lemur.

LIAM: (German accent) I am very German.

ASHLEY: Lemur.

MARISHA: Speaking of Candela Obscura, you guys, join us on May 25th for an immersive live show.

TRAVIS: What?

LIAM: Oh shit.

MARISHA: At the United Theater on Broadway right here in Los Angeles, baby.

(cheering)

MARISHA: Candela live show. It's going to be spoopy. Come dressed in your best Newfaire attire. You're going to watch the Fairelands come to life--

LAURA: That's exciting.

MARISHA: -- for a special one-shot assignment led by Game Master Spenser Starke.

ASHLEY: Woo!

LAURA: (claps)

MARISHA: Creator of the game. He is lovely, he's incredible. Alongside players Matthew Mercer.

TRAVIS: That guy?

MARISHA: Laura Bailey.

ALL: Ooh!

TRAVIS: J'adore.

MARISHA: Marisha Ray. That's me.

TRAVIS: What up, fam?

MARISHA: And Khary Payton.

TRAVIS: Khary Payton!

(cheering)

MARISHA: With the inimitable Taliesin Jaffe serving as our master of ceremonies.

TALIESIN: I was told I could not bring my T-shirt cannon, but that's okay.

ASHLEY: Aww, boo!

(laughter)

MATT: Not after the last time.

MARISHA: No, that's OUP property.

TRAVIS: My eye!

MARISHA: VIP ticket holders will get to witness the 75-minute character creation process, and the formation of the evening's Candela Obscura circle. So basically, what you guys see when we film our session zeroes, we are going to do that that day, for the VIPs.

TRAVIS: So sick.

MARISHA: Then we're going to go.

LIAM: Without a safety net?

LAURA: I know.

MARISHA: So, anyone who does VIP, does the whole kit and caboodle, you basically get to see the whole thing from start to finish, so it's going to be really cool. It's going to be a little bit of a challenge, but I'm here for it! Anyone that can't join us in person, you can watch the VOD on our Twitch and YouTube channels on May 30th. Tickets are on sale right now, and you can find all the details at critrole.com/events.

MATT: Awesome. Thank you so much, Marisha. Laura, you got a few things to talk about real fast.

LAURA: Oh, you guys! If you tuned into our Creators in Fashion, you may have seen this--

ALL: Oh!

LAURA: -- walking the runway on one Robbie Daymond.

TRAVIS: I need it. I want it, I need it.

ASHLEY: I wants it!

LAURA: This is our Dorian Storm camp shirt by Adriann Helton.

ASHLEY: Are we smelling it?

LAURA: Our Mollymauk camp shirt--

TALIESIN: It's worth it.

LAURA: -- is just so comfortable and so wonderful, and I've seen so many people styling it in so many fabulous ways.

TRAVIS: Is it as soft as it looks?

LAURA: Yes.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah.

LAURA: So we were very excited to do a Dorian one as well. In addition to that, this is all just, you know, in tribute to the Crown Keepers, we have a Dorian Storm dice set.

(cheering)

TRAVIS: Oh snap! Let's see!

LIAM: What do they look like?

LAURA: I've been wanting to do this for a long time.

TALIESIN: Ooh.

LAURA: Hold on, they're in this baggie, and I've got to open it. Help me!

MATT: Walter White would be very proud.

LAURA: I should've taken them out of the bag before.

ASHLEY: Walter White would be very proud?

LAURA: Ooh, so pretty.

TRAVIS: Crush them up, and then do not do anything with them.

LAURA: They're all Air Ashari, and they've got his little lute.

LIAM: His little instrument on it.

TRAVIS: Are those things blue?

MATT: Right?

LAURA: They're so beautiful.

TALIESIN: That's really pretty.

ASHLEY: Those are gorgeous.

LAURA: Oh, so beautiful.

MATT: I have vanished forever.

ASHLEY: Yo, Mr. White.

LAURA: I said Air Ashari. He's not Air Ashari. I know what I'm talking about.

ASHLEY: Air genasi?

LAURA: Shut up, Laura. Artist Leia Rondeau, thank you for doing these dice.

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: In addition to this, we are delighted to announce-- Do I have the thing? Do I have the thing?

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

TALIESIN: There was a thing.

ASHLEY: It was right here.

LAURA: Where's the thing?

MARISHA: Wait, we moved it for photos.

LAURA: Uh-oh. It's okay, it's coming.

LIAM: We're flying it in.

MARISHA: It's flying it.

LAURA: Guess what we're going to do? Our first ever spirits collaboration with Quest's End, which is--

ASHLEY: Oh!

LAURA: Oh, look at this!

MARISHA: This is just for me.

LAURA: It's a spirits company founded by lifelong gamers, whiskey nerds Matthew Lillard and Justin Ware.

MARISHA: Yeah!

LAURA: This is Sandkheg's Hide.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Booze!

LAURA: Oh my gosh!

MARISHA: We've been talking about this for so long.

TRAVIS: Yeah, for real.

LAURA: It's a fierce concoction, ordered by Grog at The Shade in Ank'Harel, and it's now a real world whiskey. It includes an exclusive coin medallion. Is that this?

MATT: Yep.

LAURA: I think that is this.

MATT: That is it.

LAURA: Oh my gosh, and a found journal, which is so cool, of spirit's maker, written by Jasmine Bhullar. Along with all original art--

MARISHA: Oh, that's cool.

LAURA: -- by Tyler Walpole, and a map by Deven Rue, you guys!

LIAM: Nice.

MARISHA: The whole kit and caboodle.

TRAVIS: So great. Guaranteed to make your tongue go numb.

MATT: Big old contribution.

LAURA: It's really amazing. We've been so excited about everything they've been doing. Get yours while they're on sale for three weeks only at SandkhegsHide.com. That's everything I have to say.

MATT: Thank you so much, Laura.

LIAM: Give me the--

MATT: Well--

LAURA: Give me the booze.

MATT: I believe that concludes our announcements.

ASHLEY: Bah!

TRAVIS: Ooh!

MATT: But I'm going to go ahead and cede the seat here for another GM.

(oohing)

LIAM: But why?

MATT: If you don't mind.

LAURA: Yay!

TRAVIS: What?

AABRIA: Hi.

TRAVIS: Replace the power!

AABRIA: Hi, my name is Aabria. I'm reading for Madame President Malia Obama in the future for NordVerse.

(laughter)

AABRIA: But I need all of you to fuck off. It's time for my story. Go!

(screaming)

AABRIA: For this, the next episode of Critical Role.

Part I

AABRIA: And welcome back. Previously on the finale of the Crown Keepers Saga. Oh, we're going to call that shot now because I'm not leaving anything but corpses and my girl, Opal, in my wake. You all were making your way southeast from where you were laying low from Kymal, hopefully to get to Zephrah to find the Tempest. Yet only a couple days out from where you were keeping cover, Opal had a bit of a moment, exploded out a bunch of gems and spiderwebs, like you do, triggering the forceful conversion by the Spider Queen of Opal into Opal, the Twice-Crowned Champion of the Spider Queen. Opal, your friends love you so much and they are currently fighting to the death to save you. And that's where we're going to pick up. Currently, just as a little reminder for the group, we have a big old bubble of Darkness in the middle of the field, so none of you saw Ted disappear back into Opal's body as Opal grows, stretches out a little taller, three sets of arms, and renewed specific violent purpose to shake you off to get away, so that she can take her place beside, in front of the Spider Queen for whatever's coming as the Moon of Ill Omen turns its gaze. [spooky ambient music]

AABRIA: Oh, thank you for doing the sounds, I don't do the sounds, the buttons are confusing to me. (laughter) As the Moon of Ill Omen turns its gaze on the gods of Exandria. We have Haste, we have Darkness, and a Bless I swear to god, Matt, I will knock off of you before I leave. I just got to call that shot now because we're in it.

ERICA: And we've got my Vow of Enmity.

AABRIA: That's not technically--

ERICA: Isn't it a minute?

AABRIA: No, no, it's still up, it's just not a concentration spell.

ERICA: Oh, sorry, never mind, never mind, cut that.

AABRIA: Yeah.

(laughter)

AABRIA: Yeah.

ROBBIE: This is live.

AABRIA: This is live.

(laughter)

AABRIA: They are responding in the Discord right now.

ERICA: I'm so ashamed. Don't read the comments.

(laughter)

AABRIA: With that in mind, we also have two instances of illusory magic up on the field because both of our boys over here having a high ground bestie moment.

MATT: Yeah.

ERICA: They are fully holding hands.

AABRIA: They're fully holding hands.

ANJALI: How else are they supposed to stay on that thing?

ERICA: I know.

AABRIA: They've got to, they're keeping each other safe for balance. Dariax, you see your friend Opal has turned into a massive drider.

MATT: (yelps)

AABRIA: Which is fine, it's cute, it's actually, it's very cute, don't you worry, don't you worry. And Dorian, whew, I got both your names right. Last time in the episode.

ROBBIE: Double D!

AABRIA: Dorian, you see your worst fear, which is all of your friends, all of your allies, everyone here has succumbed to the darkness that you saw threatening Fearne when you first set out on your adventures down to Niirdal-Poc. I think it's time to get back into it. Opal.

AIMEE: (nervously) Mm-hmm?

AABRIA: The Spider Queen, you feel as your body stretches out, growth pains of summer after summer of you being stretched. You can feel it in your joints, in your back, in your muscles. Spider Queen puts a hand on your shoulder and another, and pulls you close and in your ear you hear her say, "You finish this fight or I will."

AIMEE: Whoa, whoa, wait, wait.

AABRIA: She does laugh, okay.

AIMEE: Oh good. Hey.

AABRIA: "Hi."

AIMEE: Hey, Spidey.

AABRIA: "Mm, hate that."

AIMEE: Oh, ma'am.

AABRIA: "Love that."

AIMEE: Listen, why can't we do both? You know what I mean? Why can't I keep my memories and keep my friends and still be your champion? You know what I mean?

AABRIA: "The fact that you're negotiating already."

AIMEE: I'm not negotiating.

AABRIA: "You are."

AIMEE: No.

AABRIA: "You want me to change my behavior?"

AIMEE: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, not change, not change. Pivot, pivot, and it's so easy for you to do because I could still be me and still be yours. You know what I mean? Besides, I think what makes me a good champion is that I am who I am, you know what I mean?

AABRIA: "Are you willing to do whatever is required?"

AIMEE: What's required?

AABRIA: You get a sudden download, the Spider Queen has held so much from you. You've felt her fear and her trepidation and the closing of her fingers around you choking you. And now you are shown why. You see Ruidus, you see the moon, and deep within it, something monstrous. You feel the fear of the Spider Queen and the Betrayer Gods and the Prime Deities. Not as a human fear or dread or loathing, but a primal. They are prey to whatever sits at the center of Ruidus.

AIMEE: Wait, are you scared? It's okay to be scared. I'm scared all the time.

AABRIA: Make an insight check.

AIMEE: I'm going to use my Opal dice.

AABRIA: Yeah.

AIMEE: Oh shit, hold on. (grunts)

(grunting like Aimee)

MATT: It's happening, it's happening, she's turning!

AIMEE: No!

(laughter)

AIMEE: That's 17. Oh no, I don't like that smirk.

AABRIA: She leans in so close, wherever you both are now. "The price just doubled."

AIMEE: What price? What price?

AABRIA: "Kill two and the rest get to walk away."

AIMEE: I don't understand, listen, listen. I'm not trying to negotiate with you. Obviously, you're very powerful.

AABRIA: "I'm not negotiating!"

AIMEE: I'm not negotiating.

AABRIA: "Get to work."

AIMEE: One more thing, just one more thing.

AABRIA: It is so funny that I wanted to transition out of it, but you said it so caszh, I have to honor that.

AIMEE: Just one more thing.

AABRIA: Great.

AIMEE: Just one more thing.

AABRIA: Worst champion ever.

AIMEE: Why do you need them to die?

AABRIA: "Because they won't leave you. And if you can't see it, maybe you're not smart enough to be my champion. How do I know that truth about your friends better than you do? You chose my crown. You took this power."

AIMEE: You kind of pressured me into it, but I understand. Okay.

AABRIA: "You get one more or my price goes up."

AIMEE: Okay, okay, thank you.

AABRIA: "Send them away."

AIMEE: Yeah, yep, absolutely.

AABRIA: "Or bury them."

AIMEE: Yeah, okay, thank you so much. Here's-- (liquid spray)

(laughter)

AABRIA: Do you just spritz the Spider Queen?

AIMEE: Yeah, it helps with the stress.

AABRIA: It smells really good.

AIMEE: It's Gourmand.

AABRIA: It's a Gourmand!

(laughter)

ANJALI: Commit to the bit.

AABRIA: You fucking goof. Give me a persuasion check, you silly girl.

(laughter)

AABRIA: I want it to be with disadvantage, but that was just so buck wild. And it smells really good.

ROBBIE: It's intense.

AABRIA: The map smells great now.

AIMEE and ERICA: One spritz!

ANJALI and AABRIA: One spritz.

ROBBIE: Sheesh.

AIMEE: What is this roll?

MATT: Persuasion.

AIMEE: It's an 11.

ANJALI: Plus whatever you got.

AIMEE: Plus what? I have inspiration! I have one inspiration.

AABRIA: No, inspiration--

AIMEE: Because of the shot, so I can roll twice.

AABRIA: You have to call your shot before you roll.

ANJALI: But don't you have a plus to your persuasion?

AIMEE: No, that's it.

ANJALI: That's with--

AABRIA: That's how good you did, and that's just where it lies.

AIMEE: Okay, all right, all right, I can take it, here we go.

AABRIA: Well, they're about to.

AIMEE: Okay.

AABRIA: Before everything begins, once again I need everyone to make an intelligence saving throw.

ANJALI: Oh no.

AABRIA: The difficulty is 18.

ERICA: Oh no.

ANJALI: Oh, thank god.

ERICA: Wait, would this be a time? Never mind.

AABRIA: If you want to use your inspiration, say it now.

ANJALI: Plus we all also have Bless.

AABRIA: Yeah, you have Bless.

MATT: We've got Bless, we've got Bless.

AABRIA: Goddamn it, I will get-- Hey, I've never hated a spell more than Bless.

ERICA: Is Bless every time?

ANJALI: Yep.

AABRIA: Until I figure out how to smack the shit out of Dariax.

MATT: Come at me.

ERICA: 12.

MATT: Come at me, Queen.

AABRIA: Oh my god, wait, I like it, though.

ANJALI: Oh wait, 14.

AABRIA: 14?

ERICA: Wait.

ROBBIE: Could I use your inspiration as well? Can you stack with Bless?

MATT: Yeah.

AABRIA: Yes, absolutely.

ROBBIE: Okay. (defeated sigh) 16.

AABRIA: 16.

ERICA: Wait, inspiration is a d20.

ROBBIE: No.

AABRIA: No, he's using bardic inspiration.

ERICA: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

AABRIA: So bardic is different than me being like, "I love what you're doing."

ROBBIE: I stacked my Bless and inspo, and I still got a 16.

ERICA: No, I knew that, I was just testing you.

AABRIA: Thank you so much. Hey, I love you keeping me honest.

ERICA: Yeah, no problem, I'll keep you honest forever.

AABRIA: Thanks, girl.

ERICA: Yeah.

AABRIA: 14?

ERICA: It doesn't matter, it's under.

AABRIA: Okay.

ANJALI: 23.

AABRIA: Let's fucking go.

MATT: 14.

AABRIA: Amazing.

AIMEE: 18.

ANJALI: Boof.

AABRIA: Of course, we wouldn't want you to catch this effect.

(groaning)

AABRIA: Everyone but Fy'ra Rai and Opal takes 14 points of psychic damage.

MATT: Ah, okay.

AABRIA: It lances through your mind. You all feel spiderwebs covering up the part of you. It feels like she reaches out and touches your imagination. The part of you where hope lies, where you can see a world where you save Opal, where you walk away, where everything can be what you thought it would be when you set off just two days ago. You see yourselves making it to Zephrah, finding the Tempest, doing whatever is needed, making it okay, making it safe, staying together. It's covered over with sticky, dark webbing. You feel burning behind your eyes and a ringing in your ears as the Spider Queen attacks hope.

AIMEE: (groans)

AABRIA: The last thing to die before you will. You all feel the chill of something incredibly powerful that is no longer toying with you.

ERICA: May I ask a question?

AABRIA: Of course.

ERICA: I have Aura of Protection.

AABRIA: Yeah.

ERICA: Whenever I or a friendly creature within 10 feet of me make a saving throw, the creature gains a bonus to saving throw equal to my charisma modifier, which is 11 for saving throws or is it a plus three?

MATT: It's just your plus three.

AABRIA: It's just plus three.

ERICA: Okay, does that affect anyone? No, not me, it doesn't. I'm still at 17, it doesn't matter.

AABRIA: The only person technically close enough for you for that was Fy'ra Rai and she crushed it.

ERICA: Eight, nine, 12, 13.

AABRIA: Would you have made it?

ERICA: No, it would've been one under, but good to keep in mind. Sorry.

MATT: Very good to keep in mind.

AABRIA: Yeah, always keep that in mind.

ANJALI: So we all get plus three.

AABRIA: We love a paladin be like, "Are they within 10 feet of me?"

MATT: Channeling our friend, Luis.

ANJALI: Yeah! Luis!

AABRIA: Zerxus! Arc words.

MATT: It saved Avalir.

ANJALI: It sure did. (laughs)

AABRIA: Oof. Too soon. Too fucking soon. Mor.

ERICA: Yes.

AABRIA: You're up.

ERICA: Oh. Where am I?

AABRIA: You were here.

ERICA: Oh, I had a whole plan.

AABRIA: You had a whole plan.

ERICA: Yeah, I did.

MATT: What's the whole plan?

ERICA: I can't say it out loud.

MATT: I hope it's good.

ERICA: I mean name your names, you know.

(laughter)

AABRIA: A callback.

ERICA: So I'm trying to figure out where I can, I can't see super well. I'm trying to figure out where I can be in range of the spiders within 30 feet. As many spiders as possible within 30 feet.

AABRIA: Right now, your maximum spider efficacy--

ERICA: Could I hop over? How?

AABRIA: It would either be getting up to right here to catch-- Yeah, you would catch four if you get up to here.

ERICA: That sounds great.

AABRIA: Just get dick adjacent.

ERICA: Can I get dick adjacent? Is that easy for me? I mean, I am a bunny.

ERICA: You are a bunny.

MATT: Not dick adjacent.

AABRIA: You have Haste up, so you have so much movement.

ERICA: I get to move pretty much for the rest of the session. I think it's going to be all about me now, right?

AABRIA: I'm not going to disagree with you because you're right.

ERICA: Yeah, all right, cool.

AABRIA: So you've got four spiders in your area of bunny effect.

ERICA: Four spiders?

MATT: Is she in the Darkness to get there, though?

AABRIA: Four spiders. Yeah, you have to be-- Oh yeah, that's a very fair point.

ERICA: Wait, wait, let me look at what this is.

AABRIA: Yeah, you're right.

ERICA: Okay, I have to see them within range.

AABRIA: Thanks, Matt.

MATT: Sorry, my DM brain.

ERICA: Well I don't know that I don't want to do that.

AABRIA: If you get over here to this edge, I can give you these three.

ERICA: Great, okay. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to cast, hold on one second. Wait, wait, wait.

AIMEE: God, that shot was a mistake.

AABRIA: Oh no.

(laughter)

AIMEE: I'm old!

(laughter)

ERICA: I'm actually going to cast--

ANJALI: The Spider Queen has got you.

AABRIA: This is the Spider Queen's reach.

MATT: It's a role play tool, use it.

ERICA: I'm going to cast Bane.

AIMEE: Yeah you are.

AABRIA: On whomst?

ERICA: On the spidies.

AABRIA: Okay.

AIMEE: Bane.

ERICA: So I'm going to cast Bane at-- Can you cast Bane at 1st-level, yeah?

AABRIA: Yeah.

MATT: You can, it is concentration, so it'll overwrite your Haste.

ERICA: (gasps)

AABRIA: Yep.

ANJALI: Oh no, no, no.

AABRIA: Damn it, you have to be so happy you got a little buddy there. I was like, "Yeah, let's do it."

AIMEE: Yeah, do it. Give it to me, give it to Opal.

ERICA: Literally that was my entire plan and now I don't know what to do.

MATT: Kill spiders with your weapons.

(laughter)

MATT: When all else fails, stab shit.

AIMEE: Use the crystal!

AABRIA: Hit it with your stuff!

ANJALI: Yeah, kill the bad guys.

ERICA: Does that spider look like it's about to hop on the dick gem, though? That one down there?

MATT: It's pretty close.

AABRIA: Yeah, this one is currently, I didn't really--

MATT: But Cyrus is a nice distraction, right?

AABRIA: Yeah, Cyrus is here.

MATT: The squishy brother.

ANJALI: It's kind of going after squishy.

ERICA: All right, cool.

AABRIA: Give me an insight check for the spider.

ERICA: An insight check?

AABRIA: Yeah.

AIMEE: Remember the handies.

ROBBIE: You brought him into existence, Matthew.

MATT: I did, and I can take him out.

AABRIA: He was sort of-- Oop.

MATT: Actually, no, you can take him out.

AABRIA: I'm about to.

ROBBIE: Don't!

AABRIA: How'd you do on your insight check?

ERICA: Well, it's a plus zero, so it's a 14. Oh wait, do I get a plus four?

ANJALI: Yes, you--

ERICA: Blessed.

AABRIA: Yeah, oh, no, no, no, Bless is just for attack rolls and and saving throws.

ERICA: I also knew that for sure, so--

AABRIA: It's all good, thank you for quizzing me, I love that you keep me honest.

ERICA: 14, yeah.

AABRIA: There's not a lot of subtlety to a spider. So the insight check is to get a sense of do you see this thing looking back and forth between the thing it's currently grappling and pinning down and attacking and the gem? No, this thing is absolutely focused on Cyrus and is going to end him before finding a new thing to do. There's not a lot of like, "I'm going to multitask. I'm a spider."

ERICA: Then I'm going to go for the spiders that are up there.

AABRIA: Okie dokie.

ERICA: Great, okay, cool. So I'm going to use my--

AABRIA: Do you want to move into melee?

ERICA: Yes.

AABRIA: You have again, nothing more fun than a paladin of the Matron of Ravens with Haste.

ANJALI: Fuck yeah.

AABRIA: I'm glad history repeats itself again and again.

(laughter)

ERICA: Love it.

AABRIA: You said that, and I felt a fear and I went, "I understand Matthew Mercer better than I ever did before." My god.

AIMEE: You're friendly in the brain.

MATT: Be glad she doesn't have wings.

AABRIA: (laughs)

ERICA: I'm sorry I wasn't listening when I messed up for Bless.

AIMEE: That's too real.

ERICA: For Blessed. That's for attack rolls?

AIMEE: Attacks.

ERICA: Okay, sick, great.

AABRIA: You're good, we'll say it again and again, you're perfect.

ERICA: All right, so that is a 17 to hit.

AABRIA: Absolutely hits.

MATT: Plus the d4.

ERICA: Yeah, well do I need to do more or, okay.

MATT: It's up to you.

ERICA: So a 19 to hit.

AABRIA: It hits just as much as it did before.

ERICA: Great, awesome. Okay, cool. Then.

AIMEE: My precious.

ERICA: 1d8 plus two. That's a four, so that's a six. Then I'm going to add my passive Divine Smite and that's going to be another one, so that's going to be--

AABRIA: Total of seven.

ERICA: That's what that is, for sure.

(laughter)

ANJALI: Yes.

AABRIA: The energy here is insane.

AIMEE: Cut it with a knife.

AABRIA: Okay, that's one attack.

ERICA: Yeah, well, how does he look?

AABRIA: You slash into it with your crystal rapier and you feel that, the first hit, you feel like-- You hit it across its carapace, its armor, and then the blade slides into the junction--

ERICA: Sick.

AABRIA: -- between thorax.

ERICA: It's wearing armor?

AABRIA: No, it is armored because that's how spiders are.

ERICA: Oh!

AIMEE: (laughs)

ERICA: Okay.

AABRIA: You're good.

ERICA: All right.

AABRIA: You're good. No one's like you. You're the most armored that's ever been.

AIMEE: "It's wearing armor?"

AABRIA: Yeah.

ERICA: What?

AABRIA: I'm so sorry for implying that even a little bit.

ERICA: I've been hanging out with Opal for too long.

(laughter)

AABRIA: Yeah, I hate this energy so much.

(laughter ends in pleasant sighs)

AABRIA: So once you slip it into the junction--

ERICA: Yeah.

AABRIA: -- you feel this thing, you're cutting in and you're like, "Oh, I've really worked my blade into here." It is bloodied.

ERICA: Sick. So I chuckle to myself internally, obviously, and then--

AABRIA: I'm assuming you're attacking front guy.

ERICA: I'm going to attack that guy, but I also get another attack after, so it doesn't really matter.

AABRIA: You absolutely do.

ERICA: It's neither here nor there.

AABRIA: Are you using it on the same spider, or are you trying to turn and attack the other one?

ERICA: No, I'm going to go one and one and then I'll go probably for my last one, probably do it again.

AABRIA: Okay.

MATT: Let's go.

ERICA: That is a-- (grumbling) Wait. (counting softly) 14 to hit.

AABRIA: 14 just misses.

ERICA: Are you kidding me?

AABRIA: No.

ANJALI: You did your Bless.

ERICA: I did it.

AIMEE: Did you do the Bless?

ERICA: Okay, cool.

MATT: That was with the Bless. It was with the Bless.

ERICA: That's no fun for me. Okay, I'm going to use--

AIMEE: That's no fun.

ERICA: -- my final action, my final, my Hasty boy.

AABRIA: Mm-hmm. Really quick.

ERICA: Oh no.

AABRIA: As a reaction--

ERICA: Oh.

AABRIA: -- this spider, you turn to the second spider behind you, you pull your crystal rapier out from the first spider. It's covered in this dark purple, but somehow you have a sense of there's no black light around, but you know that there's a weird fluorescence to this that you can't see, but you feel with the part of you that is divinely touched by the Spider Queen.

ERICA: Hmm.

AABRIA: There's something inside you, the same place you go to when you use your Divine Sense knows that there's some extra funk on the spider. This is not a monster that exists in the world, other than when the Spider Queen wills it and brings them here.

ERICA: Gotcha.

AABRIA: You turn and wheel your blade on the second spider. You attack. You aren't able to hit that same junction between its armored segments. Because you miss, this thing rears back while you're in melee with it. It's going to spit in your face. Please make a dexterity saving throw. The DC is 19.

ANJALI: You have Bless.

ERICA: Damn.

AABRIA: But you have advantage on dex saves because you're Hasted.

ERICA: Yeah, I do.

ANJALI: And you have the Bless.

ERICA: And I have Bless.

AABRIA: And you have Bless.

ERICA: That's an 11.

AABRIA: Motherfucker.

ANJALI: Okay.

AABRIA: (laughs)

ANJALI: You did roll and extra dice.

AABRIA: I love Bless--

ERICA: No, that's a 14. That's a 14.

AABRIA: -- so much. It's really good, actually.

ERICA: 15.

AABRIA: Okay.

ERICA: Then, please be more. 16, 17, 18, 19, 20.

AIMEE: Oh!

ROBBIE: Yay!

AIMEE: Oh, shit!

ANJALI: That's more.

ERICA: Fuck yeah.

AABRIA: With a 20--

ERICA: I get that it spits into my mouth and then I (spit) right back in its face.

(laughter)

AIMEE: Do it, do it, do it!

ROBBIE: Nice.

MATT: That's hardcore.

ANJALI: I eat spider spit for breakfast!

AABRIA: That's so cool, it absolutely happens.

MATT: That's some high desert shit is what that is.

ANJALI: That is some high desert shit.

ERICA: Can you imagine?

AABRIA: That is exactly what that is. You take it, you swish it, you give it back, baby.

ERICA: Yeah.

AABRIA: You feel that there is something inside of it touching the-- This would have poisoned you if you weren't able to reject the whole of it. So you do not take the poison condition, but you still take 15 points of poison damage. Oh, I'm sorry, what part of, "I'm not fucking around anymore," are you not hearing?

MATT: (laughs)

ERICA: Oh my god!

AIMEE: Ee, ee, ee, ee.

AABRIA: You missed the rest of it. It would have been worse.

ANJALI: Yeah.

ERICA: Wait, did we take damage at the beginning? We took psychic damage, right?

AABRIA: You took psychic damage.

ANJALI: 14. You took 14.

ERICA: All right, I need to add that in.

AABRIA: So, yeah.

ANJALI: So it's 56 total.

AABRIA: I also need--

ERICA: Nice.

AABRIA: -- two concentration checks to maintain your Haste.

ANJALI: Oh shit, for Haste.

MATT: Yes. That's right.

ERICA: Okay, what is the concen--

AABRIA: Both of them are for-- They're just a 10.

ANJALI: You just have to roll a 10.

AABRIA: So you just have to roll over 10 twice.

MATT: It's okay. We'll be fine. You got this.

AABRIA: d20s.

AIMEE: That's true, but not for me.

ERICA: That was a nine.

MATT: Oh, yeah.

AABRIA: You're going to make it, because you have to add in your con.

AIMEE: I'm going to go with grace.

ERICA: I rolled a four.

AABRIA: Oh.

ERICA: So it's a nine.

AABRIA: Just nine?

ERICA: Wait. Saves, saves.

MATT: Yes.

AABRIA: Correct.

ERICA: Plus three. Nine, 10, 11, 12.

AABRIA: Okay. First one makes it. Second one, roll lower.

ERICA: 18.

MATT: Okay.

ERICA: So that definitely makes it.

MATT: Okay.

AABRIA: You maintain your Haste.

ERICA: Thanks so much.

AABRIA: You're so welcome.

ERICA: Honored to be nominated, happy to be here.

ANJALI and MATT: (laugh)

AABRIA: So great. Stay here, keep going.

ERICA: Yeah, so I'm going to take that Hasty action and I'm going to try to hit the guy, the one who spit in my face.

AABRIA: Yeah.

ERICA: Sick.

AABRIA: Okay, you aim for back spider.

ANJALI: Come on baby, come on.

AABRIA: Who's like--

ERICA: I'm so pissed. So that's 17 to hit?

MATT: Plus d4.

ERICA: Oh. (begins adding)

AABRIA: Plus d4. It hits.

ERICA: Okay. I'm going to add the d-- Oh.

AABRIA: Just so you all all know--

ERICA: 19 to hit.

AABRIA: -- the AC for the spiders is 15.

ERICA: Cool, sweet. Okay.

ANJALI: Great.

MATT: Sorry. Playing the part of Caduceus over here.

AABRIA: Yeah, no, I love it. Thank you so much.

MATT: The d4 Clippy. It's great.

ERICA: Of course Caduceus would do that.

MATT: Yeah.

ERICA: Yeah, okay. So 1d8 plus two.

AABRIA: I'm coming for you. I love you with my whole heart and I hate Bless.

MATT: Come at me.

ERICA: That's an eight. So that's 10 damage and then I get to add my passive Divine Smite. That's a seven.

MATT: Nice!

AABRIA: a Amazing.

ERICA: So I don't know what that--

AABRIA: Your passive Divine Smite happens every time you hit?

ERICA: Oh. Let me look.

MATT: I think it is every attack, yeah.

ERICA: I think it-- Is it every?

AABRIA: We like making sure everyone understands their abilities the whole time.

ERICA: Let me look at this. Yeah, it actually says, "Fuck Aabria."

AABRIA: (gasps)

AIMEE: Oh!

MATT: Whoa!

AABRIA: It's crazy. I customized it so it would say that, because I like it.

ROBBIE: What edition is that?

(laughter)

ERICA: It actually says, "Whenever you hit with a melee weapon attack, the target--" It's an extra 1d8.

AABRIA: 6th Edition is weirdly mean.

(laughter)

ERICA: Yeah, it's weird. Specifically against you.

AABRIA: It's really specific.

MATT: Took it to a different level.

ANJALI: I feel, I don't--

MATT: So that's eight plus seven?

ERICA: Yeah, eight plus seven.

ANJALI: Okay, 15.

ERICA: Yeah.

AABRIA: Guh.

AIMEE: Guh-guh-guh.

AABRIA: Total of 15?

ERICA: Yeah, 15 damage, baby.

AABRIA: The spider in the back, you see the way in which you missed in this thing rearing back, going (disgusted) bleh, bleh. "I didn't like-- You spit in my face."

(laughs)

ERICA: Yeah.

AABRIA: You're able to catch it on its underside and work your way in between bits of its carapace, and you sink your blade deeply into it. There's no scream, there's no sense of a thing alive feeling it's life force drained away. I think you understand better than you ever have before that this thing is only real and called in by a god. So it's simply going to fight until it doesn't exist anymore, or it wins.

ERICA: Or the god calls it back? Says: No more.

AABRIA: Yeah, that's a thing she could do, too, but probably not.

ERICA: Obviously not, no.

AABRIA: Probably not.

AIMEE: She's busy.

ERICA: Is this an okay time for me to--

AABRIA: (laughs) What a question.

ERICA: Is this an okay time for me to be like: Raven Queen, tell me what to do. Or: Matron of Ravens, tell me what to do, baby.

AABRIA: What does it look like? You've run so quickly. You scrambled up here, you're on the edge of this bubble of darkness, inside of which is Opal, unseen, but you can feel the change in her. You can feel the change in this place. You hit both spiders. They are doing badly.

(laughs)

ERICA: Yeah.

AABRIA: What does it feel like as you reach towards your patron, the Matron? I didn't mean to do that and I'm sorry.

(laughter)

ERICA: My patron, the Matron of Ravens.

AABRIA: Watch out for my album. It's dropping at the end of this episode.

(laughter)

AIMEE: Produced by Lin-Manuel.

ERICA: I think--

AABRIA: (laughs)

MATT: ♪ Eliza ♪

ERICA: I think it's interesting because there's something that feels inherently wrong about destroying something that was made of a god, especially because I'm now in servitude to the Matron of Ravens.

AIMEE: Ooh.

ERICA: So there's weird feelings. I think Morrighan's a very primal person, especially being from the Feywild. That was her instinct, but then sitting there and covered in whatever it is, spider blood and acidy goo, she's like: What the fuck am I doing? Is this what I'm supposed to be doing? Is this wrong? Should I let this happen? I don't know.

AABRIA: You reach out. Give me-- Give me a persuasion check.

ERICA: That's a (quietly counting) 16.

AABRIA: 16. You reach out with all of your feelings of confusion, and even warring with the discomfort you feel attacking things that are so clearly of the gods, there is the part of you that understands fight the feral bit of you. You remember a bit of your home, and all of that wars within itself.

ERICA: I would say she even looks down at the spider blood. I'm assuming they bleed.

AABRIA: Yeah.

ERICA: Ichor or something, ichor. I don't dunno how to pronounce it, either.

AABRIA: No one knows how to say it.

AIMEE: (laughs)

AABRIA: It's impossible to know.

ERICA: She would probably, especially because blood magic is a big proponent of the Matron of Ravens and all that.

AABRIA: Yeah.

ERICA: I would say she even would look down and maybe slice her hand a little and mix it with--

AIMEE: Ooh!

ERICA: Do you know what I mean?

AABRIA: Love it.

ERICA: Am I a thing of the gods too?

ANJALI: That's hardcore.

ERICA: Am I no different from these spiders? Am I the same?

AABRIA: Please take inspiration, as your blood mingles with that.

ANJALI: Hardcore.

AIMEE: Come sit over here.

ERICA: It burns.

AABRIA: Yeah, okay, sure. (laughs)

AIMEE: Come sit here.

AABRIA: You see--

ERICA: (laughs)

AABRIA: (laughs) Soon.

AABRIA: The mixing of the two, your blood, this thing's blood or goo, or whatever life force, you turn, and it's like a Rorschach image appears, wide. Two points, slit, a mask, that which you know to be the visage of the Matron of Ravens. You send out not words in a question, but a question, nonetheless. You feel the answer. "What do you hope to do? I understand the fighting. These things are abominations created by a betrayer. Defend your life. But why are you fighting?"

ERICA: Because I just thought that was what I was supposed to do.

AABRIA: "I have made you. I have given you martial prowess, I've offered you magic to serve my aims. Perhaps it is my fault for not telling you the stakes. There's a being, a beast, a monster that followed my siblings." Here you feel a little strangeness as the Matron of Ravens, who you know was once a mortal that walked this world in the time before the Calamity, as she tries to hold herself at the status of her brethren. "This thing followed them, chased them, and threatens to return. I have no love for the Spider Queen or her working, but she fights now to defend her life. And I serve life and death. That means so do you. Morrighan Ferus, why are you fighting, and what are you fighting for?"

ERICA: I don't know. I don't know, I need you to tell me. Am I to become your abomination?

AABRIA: "You are no abomination, and what was asked of--" You feel a flash inside of you. The name Georgina, quickly walked back.

AIMEE: That's me.

AABRIA: Opal.

ANJALI: That's Opal.

ERICA: Oh!

ANJALI: That's her real name.

ERICA: I don't think I knew that was your name.

ANJALI: No.

AABRIA: She didn't mean to say it. The Matron of Ravens has a strong thing about names. (laughter) And goes, "Oh! My bad."

ERICA: Uh-huh.

AIMEE: Is she a Virgo?

AABRIA: (laughs) She is a Virgo.

ERICA: (laughs)

AABRIA: That's canon. "When she agreed to wear the vestige, she knew, or didn't consider, what that would entail. I have asked-- I have not asked that of you yet. It is a conversation. What she agreed to, she agreed to. So you have a choice to make." "I can tell you. Should I tell you?"

ERICA: Yes, please tell me anything.

AABRIA: You feel it like a rushing. A raven is a massive thing up close. It's like a bird frenzied, in your face, you feel pecking at your eyes and your mouth, wings flapping, talons clawing. "Run! This is not where you die. I did not make you mine to fall here." Then all of that flapping goes away and the thing you are aware of is the cool, dispassionate visage, the removal of the Matron of Ravens again. She showed you something deep within her that she did not offer lightly. Panic, and maybe a hint of cowardice. The blood trails away. No longer a face, no longer a portal or a connection. You are yourself again, and here and now in a fight.

ERICA: I'm going to use the remainder of my move to move out of range of the spiders.

AABRIA: Knowing that moving out of the range of the spiders will incur opportunity attacks, do you continue to do so?

ERICA: No, I'll stay. I want to finish the last one off--

AABRIA: Okay.

ERICA: -- at some point, thanks.

AABRIA: You good?

ERICA: Mm-hmm.

AABRIA: Yay! Next up is Dorian! We're having a great time.

ROBBIE: We are, everything's fine.

ERICA: So good. Everything's fine.

AABRIA: So good.

AIMEE: It's really light in here.

AABRIA: It's super light. The energy in this room is not fucked.

ROBBIE and MATT: No.

ANJALI: I love this game!

ROBBIE: Dorian's frustrated at himself for his failed attempts to dispel that Darkness. It's eating at him because he had a engagement with the spell before that went his way and he feels like it's beating him this time. But he can't help but see his sweet, sweet idiot brother being tackled by a spider over that dome.

AABRIA: Yeah.

ROBBIE: So, how far away would you say that is ish?

AABRIA: Okay, I can ish. Bless you for asking an ish question. We'll call that 60. It's 55 to 60.

ROBBIE: Okay, great. So he's going to hover straight up from where he is, so he can get over the top of the dome and see what he's looking at.

AABRIA: Sure, sure, sure.

ROBBIE: He's going to look down at Dariax and say: All right old, friend, call it. Change up sink or a fastball?

MATT: Well, I mean, fastball sounds the most fun, so I'm going to say I probably go with a fastball, right?

ROBBIE: Yeah.

AABRIA: Why is every game I'm in, someone invents fucking baseball?

ROBBIE: (laughs) He is going to look and he's--

MATT: Goat-Ball, technically, and it was Chris Perkins.

ROBBIE: Ah, there we go.

AABRIA: (laughs)

ERICA: Chris Perkins turned me into a werewolf in my private campaign.

ROBBIE: Really?

ERICA: Yeah, he's the reason I'm a-- Yeah.

MATT: What a dick.

ERICA: Yeah.

(laughter)

AABRIA: Or, I'm sorry, or you're welcome. I don't know where on the monsterfucker spectrum you lie.

(laughter)

ERICA: It's very to the right.

(laughter)

ANJALI: Oh, interesting.

ROBBIE: He's going to get a light on the spider on top of his brother. He's got this little row of diamonds that sits in his thing, but he's there's only--

AABRIA: His thing? His what?

ROBBIE: His chest plate has been bedazzled previously, but there's one--

AIMEE: He's wearing armor.

ROBBIE: Yeah, there's only one left, and he's going to tink it off his shoulder, grab it. Because you said fastball, there's going to be this energy of sound crackling from his hand and he's going to try to cast a Chromatic Orb.

AABRIA: (gasps)

AIMEE: Ooh.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

AABRIA: No, thank you.

ANJALI: Fancy.

ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

AABRIA: What if I say "No, thank you"?

ROBBIE: (gasps)

AABRIA: Does it have to?

ROBBIE: Does it have to?

AIMEE: Yes, yes.

AABRIA: If I don't want to?

ROBBIE: Well yeah, you want to fight about it? Or I can't.

AABRIA: Like Aabria fight about it?

ROBBIE: We're about to find out. Does a--

MATT: Let's go!

ROBBIE: Does a 26 hit the spider?

AABRIA: Just barely.

ROBBIE: Okay, good.

(laughter)

AABRIA: Dorian's done it. He's finally hit--

ROBBIE: A thing.

AABRIA: -- a thing.

(laughter)

ROBBIE: I had to do it once. Last time he launched this, it was lightning, but he's working on something new. It's the essence of a storm, but it's just sound, but sound solidified into matter. It sort of rumbles in his hand, and even faster than lightning at the speed of sound, that might not be scientifically correct.

AABRIA: Sure. Okay.

ROBBIE: Launches through the air, straight at that spidey.

AABRIA: Okay.

ANJALI: Bye, spidey.

AABRIA: Please hit my little guy.

ROBBIE: I'm going to do my best. Fuck.

AABRIA: (laughs)

ROBBIE: 17.

AABRIA: 17 points?

ROBBIE: Yeah, 17 points of damage, of thunder damage.

AABRIA: Thunder.

ROBBIE: Yeah. 3d8.

ANJALI: Oh no.

AIMEE: Oh no.

AABRIA: Do I want to be mean?

ROBBIE: Sure.

MATT: Yeah.

AABRIA: Yeah.

MATT: Always go mean.

ROBBIE: Play fair, but play mean.

AABRIA: You picked a thing--

ROBBIE: Yeah?

AABRIA: -- that implies an AoE.

ROBBIE: Okay, yep.

AABRIA: In a way that a lot of the other ones don't.

(oohing)

AABRIA: It's hard for one person to hear thunder, you know?

ROBBIE: All right. All right.

ANJALI: (sighs)

AABRIA: Yeah?

ROBBIE: I didn't pick the thing, Dariax picked the thing.

MATT: What'd I do?

(laughter)

AABRIA: Hey, you know what?

MATT: I say go for it.

AABRIA: Leave it to chance.

ROBBIE: Mm-hmm, I know.

AIMEE: Stickball.

ROBBIE: A little RTS is fun.

MATT: Yeah.

AABRIA: We'll let Dariax roll. So you're going to roll a d20 for me.

MATT: Cool.

AABRIA: You're going to pick high or low.

ROBBIE: (gasps)

AIMEE: Oh!

AABRIA: Right now, pick.

MATT: Three, two, one.

ROBBIE: Low!

MATT: 12.

(laughter)

ROBBIE: (pained) Matt! The one time you roll well.

MATT: The one time.

ROBBIE: You dickhead!

ANJALI: (wails)

ROBBIE: I thought we were friends!

ANJALI: Okay, okay, okay.

ROBBIE: Oh man.

MATT: This is going to be great, this is going great.

ROBBIE: Oh god.

MATT: We got this.

AABRIA: This is going so good.

MATT: Hell yeah.

ROBBIE: Fuck! Oh man.

AABRIA: You send your magic out and it seems to build momentum. You can feel it. It crescendos as it slams into the wall of this spider and you can hear it and feel it in the way that someone that is musically-trained can tap on a table and be like, "Oh, I understand the resonance of this thing." It hits that external carapace and you can feel in the resounding Thunderwave within it that you've done something to shake it at its core. But in your zeal, in your moment of triumph and your bonding with your buddy, your brother--

ROBBIE: No.

AABRIA: -- below you.

ROBBIE: (squeakily) No.

AABRIA: -- below it--

ROBBIE: (squeaks) I can't!

AABRIA: -- is also going to take those 17 points of thunder damage.

ROBBIE: Oh, come on.

AIMEE: Ooh.

ROBBIE: (scoffs)

AABRIA: Cyrus howls.

AIMEE: Aww, buddy.

AABRIA: While the spider simply, you see it recoil on itself before it starts to stretch back out and it's jerky. You see its mouth almost gasping. It is bloodied, but you only have a sense of that by how much its bell has been rung by your hit and your brother doesn't look great.

MATT: Hey, everything going okay up there?

ROBBIE: I'm sorry. No. I'm going to immediately use my movement to fly to Cyrus.

MATT: I'm going to be like: Wait, uppies, uppies!

(laughter)

MATT: As he flies away.

ANJALI: Baby.

AIMEE: Cute!

AABRIA: How much movement do you have?

ROBBIE: Let's get as close as I can.

AABRIA: Jesus.

MATT: And we're dead.

AABRIA: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

ANJALI: We weren't holding hands anymore.

ROBBIE: I've got 40 feet now.

AABRIA: 40 feet, okay.

ROBBIE: So not quite enough.

AABRIA: So that's going to put you over the edge of the bubble.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

AABRIA: So we're going to do that here.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

MATT: That checks out.

AABRIA: With a gentle mental implication that you're only 20 feet away, even though that's not what we're seeing visually.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

AABRIA: I just want you to have eyes over the edge of that bubble.

ROBBIE: Playing the fucking lute.

MATT: (lute strumming)

ROBBIE: (rhythmic yell)

AABRIA: ♪ This is going great ♪

AIMEE: ♪ Highway through the danger zone ♪

ROBBIE: That ends my turn, yeah.

ANJALI: (laughs)

AABRIA: Bonus action?

ROBBIE: Nothing I can do, yeah. Not really.

AABRIA: Okay.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

ERICA: Oh, what I was going to--

AABRIA: Why don't you give me, sorry, really quick and then I'll come to you. Why don't you give me a wisdom saving throw?

ROBBIE: You pick my best stats.

AABRIA: Yeah, of course.

ERICA: Are you within 10 feet of me?

AABRIA: No!

ANJALI: No.

MATT: (laughs)

ERICA: (whines)

ANJALI: But we do have Bless.

AABRIA: Naur. (no)

ROBBIE: Hiya.

ERICA: Naur. (no)

ANJALI: Ugh.

ROBBIE: Unbelievable.

AABRIA: Add a d4.

ROBBIE: Yeah, still not going to do anything.

MATT: Add one.

ROBBIE: Then subtract one.

MATT: Okay, okay.

ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah, just a nine.

AABRIA: (through laughs) A nine?

ROBBIE: A nine.

AABRIA: You Fly and the damage done to your brother, it's hard to shake off the effects. You can feel the magic of the Spider Queen touching you, but you cannot shake the visual of all of your friends and your brother, that burned, charred, corrupted version of them. That's what you're facing on the battlefield now.

ROBBIE: Hmm.

AABRIA: I think you wonder, without putting anything in your heart, but what your mind might give you as it struggles and scrapes together any sort of meaning or explanation for why what happened happened, maybe part of you allowed the damage to Cyrus because it's better to rid yourself of the corrupted version of your brother than to let him move through the world.

ROBBIE: All right.

ANJALI: Oof.

AABRIA: We're swinging big and we're swinging for the heart. Did you have something to add, my love?

ERICA: Yes, I have Rabbit Hop.

AABRIA: Okay.

ERICA: I don't think I used my bonus action.

ANJALI: Ah.

ERICA: That does not provoke an opportunity attack.

AABRIA: Okay.

ERICA: That was all I was going to say.

AABRIA: I love you so much.

ERICA: It's okay.

AABRIA: I'm going to leave you here for now, but keep that for the future.

ERICA: Yes. Because I can use that later.

AABRIA: Yes.

ERICA: That's what I realized.

AABRIA: That's great.

ERICA: Right after I interrupted you twice.

AABRIA: That's okay. I love you and it's perfect.

ROBBIE: You're not going to get spanked or anything, that's good.

AABRIA: No.

AIMEE: She might.

ERICA: Oh no!

AABRIA: It's a good thing to note and clock and now we're all aware of it.

ERICA: Yes.

AABRIA: So just in case.

ERICA: Now everyone's aware of my Rabbit Hop.

AABRIA: Yeah, and we can all keep that on the table for you. So you're good.

ERICA: Thank you, sorry.

AIMEE: Bounce, bounce.

AABRIA: No, you're great. Next up, Fy'ra Rai.

ANJALI: Okay, so--

AABRIA: It's going really good actually.

ANJALI: I can tell. Okay, so--

AABRIA: (soft claps)

ANJALI: -- stuff on the field, I see Cyrus looking completely fucked up. But I see Dorian can see him, so I feel like he's--

AABRIA: Yeah. You saw that Dorian also fucked up Cyrus. (laughs)

ROBBIE: Well.

ANJALI: He didn't mean to, but I know he's learning. I see Mor is doing fine because I can see around that dark. I can see her, right, or not?

AABRIA: You know what? I'm going to say that you've got probably an angle on part of her.

ANJALI: Okay.

AABRIA: But you see that she's--

ANJALI: She's up and running?

AABRIA: She's up and running and that she landed a couple blows.

ANJALI: Okay.

AABRIA: She's holding a be-nastied rapier.

ANJALI: I can see baby boy up there.

AABRIA: Baby boy.

ANJALI: The only person I cannot see is Opal.

AABRIA: Oh, that sucks so much.

ANJALI: It fucking sucks, so--

AABRIA: What you going to do about that?

ANJALI: Okay, sorry, I have to ask lots of questions.

AABRIA: No, this is great.

ANJALI: There's a lot going on here. So the last time I spoke to the Wildmother, I sensed, you said fear, that was the final thing. A little bit of fear as she put the Wall of Wind up in front of me.

AABRIA: Yes.

ANJALI: I just want to say, out loud I'll say it to her: You sent me here to protect them. You found me when I needed help, when I needed direction. Let me help her and I will return to you. I will do whatever you ask. But let me bring her from these awful queen's clutches. Please, I will, I will come to you. I will protect you from whatever it is.

AABRIA: Give me--

ANJALI: Fuck.

AABRIA: Give me a persuasion check.

ANJALI: ♪ Not my strongest stat ♪

AABRIA: Or deception if you're lying.

ANJALI: ♪ Not my strongest stat ♪ That's cocked, I knew that was cocked.

AABRIA: Am I finally making you roll not your best thing?

ANJALI: Yeah.

AABRIA: Great, we did it.

ANJALI: 17 plus three is 20.

AABRIA: (sarcastically) ♪ Not my greatest ♪ Shut up.

(laughter)

ANJALI: No, no it wasn't because it was cocked over there. Thank god, it was cocked.

MATT: Sure.

AABRIA: Did you add your Bless?

ANJALI: No.

AABRIA: Oh no, no, no. It's just a--

MATT: It's an ability check.

AABRIA: Even I did it.

MATT: It doesn't add to the dice.

AABRIA: Yeah.

ANJALI: Yeah, it's 20.

AABRIA: You feel something in the wind change and everything gets a little still. you smell, for the first time in a long time, the heady, heavy scent, orchids and plant life and water that reminds you of the southern reaches of Tal'Dorei when you would move to and from Qoniira. She reaches toward you and you feel an opportunity, an offer on the wind. She is not speaking to you now. Do you commit yourself to the Wildmother fully without the conversation of what that might entail? I will say above the table, feel no obligation to do this. I am not bullying you into it.

ANJALI: Oh, I know.

AABRIA: So don't fucking come for me.

MATT: (laughs)

ANJALI: No, I know. I know. I know the Wildmother to be a-- No, she's not fair, no, she is not good, but no, she is not evil. I know her to simply be-- She protects what nature wants, not what these aberrations and these abominations are in the world. And I believe that the Spider Queen is-- Okay, I'm just talking my way out of this. I don't know.

AABRIA: That's okay.

AIMEE: Does Opal hear any of this?

ANJALI: This is hard.

AABRIA: This is inside-- Unless you are externalizing this across Rary's Telepathic Bond, this is happening entirely within Fy'ra Rai's heart and mind.

ANJALI: Well, I said I was saying it out loud.

AABRIA: Oh, you're saying it?

ANJALI: What I said was out loud, I don't know about what she--

AABRIA: Sure, but the part that you're thinking right now.

ANJALI: Oh, the part that I'm thinking right now?

AABRIA: I think Opal is asking if she can hear it.

ANJALI: I mean, aren't we all on Telepathic Bond? Is that a thing?

MATT: Telepathic Bond I think is also about what you're trying to communicate versus what you're feeling.

AABRIA: Yeah.

ANJALI: Oh, what you choose. Like: Tap, tap. Is this thing on?

AABRIA: It's not everyone's errant thoughts.

MATT: Correct, yeah. That would be--

ANJALI: It's not like: What are we--

AABRIA: I kind of got to fart.

ANJALI: -- having for dinner?

(laughter)

ANJALI: You guys, what are we having for dinner?

MATT: You would be taking psychic damage from having Dariax on this line.

AABRIA: Oh my god.

ANJALI: Yeah! Fair, fair, fair.

AABRIA: It's just "The Girl from Ipanema" on a loop.

MATT: Straight up.

AIMEE: ♪ (humming) ♪ Elevator music just (hums).

ERICA: Yeah.

AABRIA and MATT: (laugh)

AABRIA: The moment you think about the Spider Queen and the thoughts aberration and abomination, you feel the scent get stronger in agreeance, but then you also hear or think or feel a second shoot punching out of long-dormant earth as the spring resumes next to its friend, sister. Not yours, hers. That whatever you think of the Spider Queen now, the Wildmother is making it clear that there is a connection between the Prime Deities and the ones known as Betrayers that was action, but who they are and what they are to each other is family.

ANJALI: (indecisive groan) I don't know if I have to make this decision now.

AABRIA: You don't got to. You could do some punches.

ANJALI: Yeah.

AABRIA: Let that shit simmer.

ANJALI: Fuck it.

AABRIA: (laughs)

ANJALI: How far is that jump across from where I am to the darkness?

AABRIA: To go from here to darkness?

ANJALI: Yeah.

AABRIA: 20 feet.

ANJALI: How do I know what my jump is? Is it half my movement or what is it?

AABRIA: Oh god, there's a little thing on there.

ANJALI: Does it say on here?

AABRIA: Oh, what's the how it affects horizontal leap? I'll find it.

MATT: It's all weird.

ANJALI: Sorry.

AABRIA: Yeah. No, you're good. You're good.

ANJALI: I ask so many questions.

AABRIA: No, no, no, this is so good and it's a thing, it's one of the few things that my brain doesn't automatically calculate.

ANJALI: Yeah, I remember trying to look it up and not even being able to find it.

AABRIA: Yeah. It is something to do with your-- It's like your height times--

MATT: I looked it up, it's move at least 10 feet on foot before the jump.

AABRIA: Yeah, this is from--

ANJALI: Standing jump.

AABRIA: This is standing broad jump.

ANJALI: Nowhere for me to run from.

AABRIA: I don't think you've got more than 10 feet in a standing broad jump unless you have an ability that allows you to be very good at jumping.

ANJALI: Well, I could spend a ki point and double my jump distance.

AABRIA: Oh, sure.

ANJALI: If I needed to.

AABRIA: If you spend a ki point, you can get there.

ANJALI: If I needed to, but it sends me straight into darkness, right?

AABRIA: Yeah, and you'll land in darkness, but you have seen-- Look, you've rolled a very high intelligence check. We know Fy'ra Rai is incredibly smart. I will say that if you spend a ki point, I'll allow you to make the jump into darkness. You don't know what has changed inside of darkness since you left, but you know where the ground is and you didn't hear or see any sort of erosion that would suggest that the ground isn't there anymore.

ANJALI: Right, right, okay. So I will do that. I'm going to--

AABRIA: How many ki points do you have?

ANJALI: I think I have 12 left.

AABRIA: Okay.

ANJALI: Yeah.

AABRIA: Yeah, spend one.

ANJALI: I'm going to spend a ki point. I see that face.

AABRIA: I just got the dirtiest fucking look.

ANJALI: I see that face, I know that face.

AABRIA: You're doing it.

ANJALI: Okay. So I'm going to spend one ki point and jump directly across from where I am and in the direction that I feel like-- Why am I half doing this accent? It's kind of there, it's kind of not.

AIMEE: I love it.

ANJALI: It's very hard for me not to think like Fy'ra Rai without the accent. Excuse me.

AIMEE: Do it.

MATT: I respect that.

ANJALI: It's a part of who she is.

AABRIA and MATT: Yeah.

AIMEE: Do it.

ANJALI: Then directly charge in the direction that I remember Opal to be being at, whatever I can, with arms wide and telescoping staff out I want to tackle, if she's there, I want to tackle whoever, whatever is there.

AABRIA: I would say give me a history check with disadvantage.

ANJALI: A history check. 16 plus one is 17. 12.

AABRIA: Okay. With a total of 12, you remember the last time Opal was visible to you all, she was standing here.

ANJALI: (nervous groan)

AABRIA: You didn't hear nor did you see her slide back--

ANJALI: Okay.

AABRIA: -- across the darkness.

ANJALI: Okay.

AABRIA: So you would just run straight forward there. Is that what you would do?

ANJALI: (groans) No.

MATT and AIMEE: (laugh)

ANJALI: I'm just going to run in the direction that I jumped, which was straight across. Just run across the darkness, but still with my arms out, if I can.

AABRIA: Go ahead-- We have to honor the fact that you are in magical darkness.

ANJALI: Correct.

AABRIA: The fact that to get to here--

ANJALI: I went in that direction.

AABRIA: Yeah.

ANJALI: Right, so I would run into a tree, okay. Fuck.

AABRIA: Give me a dexterity saving throw.

ANJALI: 18 plus--

MATT: Plus a d4!

AABRIA: Fuck you.

ANJALI: 21.

AABRIA: A 21, I will give you a straight shot in this direction, but you will not trip and hit the rocks.

ANJALI: Okay.

AABRIA: But I cannot, in good conscience, give you the straight shot towards Opal.

ANJALI: No, that's okay.

AABRIA: Since she slid across.

ANJALI: In that case--

AABRIA: You would have landed in the direction you thought she was facing.

ANJALI: Great.

AABRIA: So a forward run would move you.

ANJALI: So that ki point is, what is this? It is a bonus action, right? That Step of the Wind?

MATT: Step of the Wind is a bonus action.

ANJALI: It's a bonus action, excellent. I think I can do this. I'm going to say in my head-- No, you don't have to move her, leave her.

AABRIA: You said you ran forward.

ANJALI: No, I'm going to keep it back.

AABRIA: Okay.

ANJALI: Sorry. Sorry, sorry.

AABRIA: All good.

ANJALI: Because I changed, change of plan.

AABRIA: Why would you know to change the plan?

ANJALI: Huh?

AABRIA: Why would you know to change the plan?

ANJALI: Because I can't see anything.

AABRIA: Okay.

ANJALI: I thought somehow that there would be something right there.

AABRIA: Mm-hmm.

ANJALI: If you say no, then no.

AABRIA: No, you're good.

ANJALI: Okay, then I'm going to say in my head to Opal: I am sorry, sister. I am going to cast Fireball. I'm going to cast it with myself as the epicenter, which should get the whole Darkness area plus that spider and theoretically the other spider, right?

AABRIA: What's the range on Fireball?

MATT: 20-foot radius.

AABRIA: Mm-hmm.

ANJALI: I thought it was 20.

AABRIA: Well, does it hit?

ERICA: I have PTSD about Fireball.

ANJALI: Radius.

AABRIA: It's going to hit.

AIMEE: Counterspell.

AABRIA: Good girl.

ERICA: (gasps)

ANJALI: (sighing) Okay.

AIMEE: I'm sorry, too.

AABRIA: You see her begin to cast a spell. Your hands move. You summon that energy deep within you, the part that is a genasi that connects to fire and heat, intensity. As you reach out to extend it over your head, knowing full well that you would catch yourself, probably Opal, and definitely Dorian.

ANJALI: I'm fucked if that goes up.

AABRIA: You feel just a little bit of relief as a cool gust that turns cold and sticky, like webbing over your hands. Counterspell from Opal.

ANJALI: (sighs) All right. Can I finish my movement then?

AABRIA: In what direction?

ANJALI: I would like to go along the edge to the side, out of the darkness. If I do see those gems--

AABRIA: What's your movement?

ANJALI: What's my movement? It's 50 feet. But I did Step of the Wind, so it's--

MATT: 100, technically.

ANJALI: 100, technically.

AABRIA: Okay.

ANJALI: Do I see those do I see those fucking, do I see those-- I'll get behind that bush, if I can.

AABRIA: You want to get over here?

ANJALI: Yeah, just get behind, find some cover.

AABRIA: Yeah.

MATT: Ah, Fy'ra rai, there you are!

AABRIA and AIMEE: (laugh)

ERICA: (laughs)

ANJALI: Damn.

MATT: Opal's jaw split. She's getting all sorts of crazy weird. She's a spider and it's scary.

AABRIA: (laughs)

ANJALI: I accept.

(laughter)

AIMEE: What?

MATT: I don't know what I offered, but I'm glad you went for it.

ANJALI: No, she said it out loud, too. You know. (laughter) I didn't pay any attention to him is basically it.

AABRIA: Incredible.

MATT: Gotcha. No, it makes sense.

AIMEE: It's very (spritzing) coated.

ANJALI: Yes, exactly.

AIMEE: I did what I have.

AABRIA: Yeah.

ERICA: Sorry.

ANJALI: I love you very much, but he's not-- He's fine.

ERICA: It's all I have.

AIMEE: That's all I have.

MATT: I'm just talking out loud now.

AABRIA: All of you over here feel that heady scent that you have not smelled since the jungle began to give way to more manicured grasses and trees and flowers. Your Darkness is dispelled, Opal.

AIMEE: Yeah.

AABRIA: You can see her again.

MATT: Oh, the whole orb vanishes? Ooh.

ROBBIE: Oh, okay.

AABRIA: With that, something has been sealed within you.

AIMEE: Welcome to the club, bitches.

AABRIA: Opal.

AIMEE: Hmm?

AABRIA: Do you want to go? Do you want the Spider Queen to go?

AIMEE: Oh, I'll go.

AABRIA: Or do you want Ted to go?

AIMEE: Oh!

AABRIA: You got so many options.

AIMEE: Is it my technical turn, or--?

AABRIA: No, this is--

AIMEE: Okay.

AABRIA: This is legendary actions.

AIMEE: Then Ted can go. Ted can go.

AABRIA: So just so you know, Ted's inside you.

AIMEE: Okay.

AABRIA: So are you giving the reins over to Ted to make a choice?

AIMEE: Yeah, because I trust Ted. Should I not?

AABRIA: Okay!

AABRIA: No, I think this is so fun.

AIMEE: Wait!

ROBBIE: You said it, you said it.

ANJALI: Yeah, yeah.

AABRIA: Hey, we've allowed people to walk a lot of shit back.

ANJALI: Yeah, I've had a lot. I walk back--

AABRIA: I think you are deeply aware of--

ROBBIE: You've walked back so much shit.

AIMEE: I'd rather anybody go but the Spider Queen.

MATT: Drive it like you stole it, y'all. Make hard choices and run with it.

ROBBIE and MATT: (laugh)

AABRIA: (laughs)

AIMEE: I think that the reasoning behind that is--

MATT: It's okay. No, it's okay.

ANJALI: I'm sorry, I'm trying.

MATT: You're doing great.

AIMEE: I think the reasoning behind that is Opal is still trying to figure out what to do. You know what I mean? Doesn't really know, really doesn't want the Spider Queen to go. I think that she understands that Ted's instinct is to protect her, but Sted is still, Ted is still half of her. I had a tequila shot, you guys. It's fine.

AABRIA: It was water!

AIMEE: (doubtful) Mm. I think that she knows Ted's heart and can also say: Can you back me up while I think about something to do?

AABRIA: Give me an insight check before you make this choice.

AIMEE: Okay. That is a 10.

AABRIA: You reach, out and what you get back from Ted as you turn the eye inward with a 10, is that Ted is in full tunnel vision fight or flight. Everything inside of her is bent on keeping you up and alive. It feels like when you reach, you reached out for your sister to say, "Can you give me a second? I need to think." The feeling you got was like suddenly holding a leash as a dog is tearing at some, wants to be let loose on something.

AIMEE: Okay, never mind.

AABRIA: I don't think you have a strong--

AIMEE: Yeah, no, no.

AABRIA: -- belief that Ted's cool, calm, and confident right now.

AIMEE: All right, so never mind.

AABRIA: But you can let her go.

AIMEE: No, never mind.

AABRIA: It'd be fun for me.

AIMEE: Everyone can see me, right?

ERICA: Mm-hmm.

AIMEE: So I'm going to use one of my Mystic Arcanum spells.

AABRIA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Ooh!

AIMEE: I'm going to cast Mass Suggestion at 6th-level.

ANJALI: Holy fuck.

AABRIA: Okay.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

AABRIA: I love it here.

AIMEE: Do you?

AABRIA: I mean, obviously yeah.

AIMEE: I'm going to say to everyone-- What am I going to say to everyone? (laughs)

ERICA: Is there a range on that, or does that just get everyone?

AIMEE: No, it's--

AABRIA: 60 feet.

ERICA: Oh god.

ANJALI: It's okay.

ROBBIE: We're all grouped up.

AIMEE: Can I reach everybody?

AABRIA: Yeah.

AIMEE: Okay.

AABRIA: Yeah, you can.

AIMEE: I mean this isn't-- This is going to be what it is. It's probably not going to work.

AABRIA: You know what? Hold up.

ROBBIE: Hold up.

AABRIA: Let's get the roll first.

AIMEE: Do I have to roll?

AABRIA: No, everyone does.

MATT: We have to roll.

AIMEE: Yeah, wisdom saving throw.

AABRIA: Wisdom.

ROBBIE: Oh come on.

MATT: What's the DC?

AABRIA: What's the difficulty?

AIMEE: 17.

AABRIA: 18.

AIMEE: Oh, is it 18?

AABRIA: Yeah.

AIMEE: It's 18. Remember, you have a 20 now.

ROBBIE: 18, what?

AABRIA: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 18.

ANJALI: Where's my wisdom save? Okay, 20.

ERICA: What is this? Just to clarify, when it says plus 3 on saves--

ANJALI: Oh, plus your--

ERICA: -- am I then adding that or is that added in?

ROBBIE: Plus it. You're plus ocho.

AIMEE: Did you roll in the app?

ERICA: With that plus three?

AABRIA: It should be rendered into whatever your saving throw currently is.

ERICA: Right, I just wanted to make sure. I'm sorry, what's the save?

AABRIA and AIMEE: 18.

MATT: Haven't been through a round yet.

ERICA: And it's a wisdom. Okay.

AABRIA: Yeah.

ANJALI: You haven't gone.

MATT: I haven't gone yet.

ERICA: Oh hell yeah. Okay.

AABRIA: Don't forget your Bless.

ERICA: 24.

MATT: That's what happens when combat's tense.

ROBBIE: Oh my god. It rolled off the 18 onto a five.

AABRIA: How'd you do?

ANJALI: 18.

AABRIA: Meets it beats it.

MATT: 15.

AABRIA: (laughs)

AIMEE: I only got my two little bimbos.

AABRIA: You feel--

MATT: Pop.

AABRIA: -- for the first time, your magic catches Dariax--

AIMEE: Oh.

AABRIA: -- and Dorian like flies in your web. Make your suggestion, Opal. You get two sentences, so you got to really--

AIMEE: I know.

AABRIA: Keep it tight, baby.

AABRIA: Can I give two options in my two sentences?

AABRIA: No. It's not Mass Conversation, it's a fucking suggestion.

AIMEE: No, but two options in one sentence. If I can whittle it down to one sentence, can I give two options?

AABRIA: No!

ROBBIE: Tell us what to do, tell us what to do. We're your meat puppet boys.

AABRIA: I love you so much. Naur. (no)

ERICA: Aur naur. (oh no)

AABRIA: (laughs) Stop it.

ERICA: (laughs)

ROBBIE: Just say kiss.

(laughter)

AABRIA: It would make the fans so happy.

ANJALI: Yeah, just kiss. Just kiss.

AIMEE: Make out, make out. As a bonus action, make out.

AABRIA: I cast Ao3 at 9th-level.

ROBBIE: Be nice.

(laughter)

ERICA: Oh my god.

MATT: Oh, you've summoned them now.

ROBBIE and AABRIA: (laugh)

AABRIA: They were already here.

MATT: They've always been here.

AABRIA: (laughs)

MATT: Opal, what's up?

AABRIA: Oh!

ANJALI: Aw, baby.

MATT: You still in there?

ROBBIE: Do I hear something? What is that? Is that my friend's voice?

ERICA: (laughs) Oh, man.

AABRIA: Ah, shit. Okay. Don't push the buttons.

AIMEE: It's tough, right? Because-- What percentage would you say Opal is in herself?

MATT: (laughs) How much is-- Who's winning? Is it Opal that's winning or is it the dark, dark thoughts that are winning?

AABRIA: Right now, I am happy to say that this is Opal casting. The Spider Queen is giving, because you've chosen yourself to do this thing, it is Opal casting a spell. But know that if the Spider Queen doesn't like what you do, it will get worse.

AIMEE: Just walk away. Go see Orym.

MATT: I trust you. If you're still in there, I trust you. As he starts putting his healing spell away.

(laughter)

AIMEE: I don't want to do it, I don't want to do it. Can I take it back?

MATT: Nope.

AABRIA: You can leave him on the battlefield.

MATT: I heard it.

AABRIA: Do you want to? Do you want him to stay?

AIMEE: I don't because I don't want to kill him.

AABRIA: So are you doing the most merciful thing you could in this moment? Opal, you're still in there and you have chosen the path of preservation. Dariax and Dorian have been with you since the beginning. They know your name. They fought with you to save Ted, and you know, you know if they stay, what will happen, either at your hands or Ted's or hers.

AIMEE: Yeah. Go see Orym.

ROBBIE: Do we have any kind of recompense against this? Like any kind of checks or any kind of anything we can do?

AABRIA: The spell lasts 24 hours.

ERICA: Oh my god.

ROBBIE: Oh, come on.

ROBBIE: 24 hours?

AIMEE: It's 6th-level. I guess you could Counterspell it. If you have that.

AABRIA: If you or any of your companions damage a creature affected by this spell, the spell ends for that creature. So if you are hit, this goes away.

ANJALI: Interesting.

AIMEE: Sorry.

ERICA: Do any of us know this? Like those of us who did just nothing, did she just nothing us? Or did we have any sense?

ANJALI: Or did we hear it?

AABRIA: Did you say it out loud or in your head?

AIMEE: I said it out loud. I said it out loud to the people that are affected by the spell.

AABRIA: Everyone heard it.

ERICA: Okay.

AABRIA: But you don't feel magically compelled to action.

ERICA: Do we see anything with Dorian and Dariax?

AABRIA: Dariax, what do you do?

MATT: I haven't taken my turn yet, so.

AABRIA: Yeah.

MATT: Yeah.

ERICA: Okay.

AABRIA: Yeah.

MATT: We'll see.

AABRIA: She simply turns, and says, "Just walk away. Go to Orym." A strange moment. There is no other effect. Mark off the spell, and we continue to move forward.

AIMEE: Actually, it doesn't take a spell slot, but.

AABRIA: Yeah. You're right, that's on me.

MATT: It was the dab that really punctuated everything.

AABRIA: Just the full--

AIMEE: I still have some spell slots left.

AABRIA: -- Candace from "Housewives," like--

MATT: Yeah. (laughs)

ANJALI: Yeah.

MATT: So good.

AABRIA: Perfect. Perfect.

AIMEE: (liquid spraying)

(laughter)

AABRIA: Well, next up is Ted. I need you to make a strength saving throw to hold onto Ted's leash.

ROBBIE: Oh boy.

AIMEE: Oh, good thing I have a negative one on strength.

MATT: Oh, great. (laughs)

AABRIA: You have to beat a 14.

AIMEE: (laughs) That's a one.

AABRIA: Oh!

ROBBIE: Oh no, no, no!

MATT: Oh boy.

AIMEE: So that's a zero.

AABRIA: You rolled a zero?

ANJALI: Wow.

AIMEE: Yeah.

ANJALI: Impressive.

AIMEE: Didn't think it could happen. There's no zero on the dice.

AABRIA: That's unfortunate.

MATT: Congratulations.

AABRIA: I mean, there is, but not in the way that you think.

AIMEE: Yeah.

ROBBIE: Oh boy.

AABRIA: You feel yourself let go of that leash. Who would she go for first? Weirdly. Who are you more afraid of being hit, Fy'ra Rai or Morrighan? This is a hard day for you.

AIMEE: Yeah, no shit.

AABRIA: I know that. But making you pick the targets is the funniest thing I can think of.

AIMEE: Okay, well, I just know that Fy'ra Rai is a tank. I love you so much. She'll be okay.

AABRIA: Okay.

AIMEE: So Morrighan. I think she's not doing so well, right? You took like 30 points of damage?

ERICA: Yeah.

AABRIA: Bless you. So you choose Morrighan.

AIMEE: Yeah. Oh no, is it something fucking reverse psychology shit?

AABRIA: No, not at all!

(laughter)

AABRIA: Like there is a sense that in your shared headspace.

AIMEE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

AABRIA: You're like, "It's okay. Fy'ra Rai is so strong, she's going to be okay."

AIMEE: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

AABRIA: Ted goes, "You're right."

AIMEE: (shouts) No! Oh!

AABRIA: Turns to-- Well, that's what you did!

AIMEE: Walked right into it.

AABRIA: Yeah. No, there's nothing you walked into. I feel like that's what you said.

AIMEE: No, I said--

AABRIA: I'm listening to what you said!

MATT: (laughs)

AIMEE: No. Am I getting gaslit or is it the tequila shot? I don't know.

(laughter)

AIMEE: It's been an hour, why is it still working?

AABRIA: It's okay.

AIMEE: I'm so sorry.

AABRIA: She hit Ted first. So this isn't unfair. You see Opal rush up to you. There's something in her that goes dark. It's like a shadow, instead of trailing behind, is leading up to you. That's what reaches you before her body does. Three sets of arms, three attacks.

ERICA: Oh my gosh. My AC is 20.

AABRIA: It's what?

ERICA: What? My AC is 20.

AABRIA: Okay. The first one misses. Second one hits with a 22. There it is. Natural 20.

ERICA: Oh my god.

ROBBIE: Oh no!

ERICA: Okay, all right, all right.

AABRIA: Thank you for these dice. A very nice fan sent me very good dice.

MATT: Goody good.

AABRIA: Yeah. Okay. Second hit. Let's do it all at once. Yeah, she would put a little more than that. Three sets of arms.

AIMEE: Oh.

AABRIA: The first attack that comes from Opal's little opalescent daggers.

ERICA: Mm-hmm.

AABRIA: They're clearly her hands. They're the ones in the middle of her body, and they just don't want to do this. They swing wide in front of you, they catch a bit of your clothing, they glance off of your newly gifted armor from your deity. Second set of arms, Ted's arms, catch you. They reach a little farther and a little faster with that dark shadow blade, and it cuts across your midsection. You take, well no, let's do it. It is two different hits. 21 points.

AIMEE: Oh my god.

AABRIA: Of piercing, well, slashing damage.

ROBBIE: (blows raspberry)

ERICA: Okay.

AABRIA: Third set of arms.

ERICA: Cool.

AABRIA: Dark, mottled skin. It's purple and sickly, like something that died a long time ago, but hasn't had the opportunity or moisture or desire to rot away. No weapon held, just too long of fingertips ending in points grab you at your shoulders and tear down and away for another 23 points of piercing damage.

ROBBIE: (whistles)

AABRIA: I need you to make a constitution saving throw.

ROBBIE: Whoa. Come on.

ANJALI: You got this.

ROBBIE: Come on.

ANJALI: Plus the 1d4.

ERICA: What's the save?

AABRIA: Plus 1d4.

ERICA: What's the save?

ANJALI: Con.

AABRIA: 20.

ERICA: 20?

AABRIA: 20.

ERICA: Oh. I rolled a two.

AABRIA: Mm-hmm. You could still get it. You add 47 things.

ERICA: I add one, three, eight.

AABRIA: You are poisoned by the Spider Queen.

ERICA: Wait. I'm immune to disease, does that not count as poison?

AABRIA: Yeah, she didn't give you syphilis.

(laughter)

ERICA: She didn't give me the syph?

AIMEE: Going to have chlamydia.

AABRIA: Bitch, you don't have the clap!

ERICA: All right. How much poison damage is that for each turn? Like what's the--?

AABRIA: So this is the poisoned condition.

ERICA: Okay, and what--

AABRIA: The additional poison damage will kick in later.

ERICA: Oh, great.

AABRIA: Which, unfortunately, I don't get to give you now with her natural 20, so.

ERICA: Okay, cool. That's great.

AABRIA: You're welcome.

ERICA: I should have rabbit hopped out of the way. ♪ I should have rabbit ♪ hopped out of the way ♪

AABRIA: I need two constitution saves to maintain, or, yeah.

ERICA: What's the save?

AABRIA: It's just a 10, or it's a 10 and an 11 because I divided the damage.

ERICA: I get to use Bless still?

MATT: Yes.

AABRIA: Yes, you do.

ERICA: Okay. All right, that's an 18, so that's probably enough.

AABRIA: Yep, you're good. You don't roll.

ERICA: I don't need to be Blessed. And that's a five. So five, 10, and then--

AABRIA: Just roll any number.

ERICA: 11.

AABRIA: You did it!

(laughter)

AABRIA: As long as it shows up, on a side.

ERICA: Morrighan is like: Oh, I'm still okay.

(groans)

AABRIA: How are you still fast?! Oh my god--

ERICA: It's so bad, but I'm still standing.

AABRIA: As someone who has a lot of constitution spells, I feel like it's always easier than I'm experiencing in this moment. And that's sad for me.

ERICA: Yep.

AABRIA: Okay. That is Ted's turn. Opal, you're up.

AIMEE: Okay. I am going to--

AABRIA: Dariax, you're on deck.

MATT: Good.

AIMEE: Oh, he didn't leave?

MATT: I haven't had my turn yet.

AIMEE: He hasn't had his turn yet.

AIMEE: Oh. What does that mean?

ANJALI: He hasn't gone yet.

AABRIA: He hasn't gone yet.

AIMEE: No, I hear you. But does that mean my spell maybe didn't work on him? We don't know.

AABRIA: You have no idea.

AIMEE: We have no idea.

AABRIA: All of this, we're living in a weird liminal space.

AIMEE: Gotcha, gotcha.

AABRIA: All of this is happening within six seconds and we're kind of--

AIMEE: Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Okay, okay, okay. Okay. Okay. I'm going to walk over to Morrighan.

AABRIA: She's already there. You're already there. Your body went when Ted took over.

AIMEE: Right.

AABRIA: So you're in front of Morrighan and you just punched some holes into her body-ody-ody.

AIMEE: Okay. I'm so sorry. I am going to very gently, as my bonus action, touch her with the butt end of my dagger and I'm going to cast Banishing Smite.

ROBBIE: A gentle Banishing Smite.

ERICA: What does that do?

AABRIA: A gentle Banishing Smite.

ERICA: I've never heard of Banish.

AIMEE: I don't want her to die.

AABRIA: Yeah.

AIMEE: So I'm going to hit a creature with a weapon attack before the spell ends. Your weapon crackles with force, the attack--

AABRIA: So the thing is, this spell's great, (deeper) but you have to hit her first.

AIMEE: Wait, actually, I don't know if I can use it. Is your HP under 50?

AABRIA: You can't ask and she can't answer.

AIMEE: I think it is, I think it is, I think it is. I think it is, okay. We're going to go.

AABRIA: You know how you're going to get it under 50? You have to hit her first.

AIMEE: Sure, okay.

(laughter)

AIMEE: Okay. So I'm going to take the butt end of my dagger and I'm going to hit her behind the knees.

AABRIA: It's so crazy that you're in front of her face and you're like, how do I get the back of her knee vagina?

AIMEE: Yeah.

AABRIA: Per our earlier conversation.

ROBBIE: Yeah, an earlier conversation.

AABRIA: Yeah, don't worry about it.

ROBBIE: Off-camera, off-camera.

AABRIA: You're not here for all of it!

MATT: It worked for Scott Pilgrim. It can work for you.

ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

AIMEE: All right. Am I good to go, or do I have to roll to see if it hits her?

AABRIA: You got to roll to hit, baby.

AIMEE: Okay.

AABRIA: Do you remember how your actions work?

AIMEE: ♪ Do you remember? ♪ Naur. (no)

AABRIA: So you're going to roll d20 plus 10 to hit with your dagger.

AIMEE: That's just a 17.

ERICA: Yeah, my AC is 20.

AIMEE: It doesn't hit.

AABRIA: Okay.

AIMEE: So I guess, what does that mean? Maybe you're going to die here?

AABRIA: No, the Banishing Smite requires you to have hit her.

AIMEE: Right, so I didn't.

AABRIA: Mm-hmm!

AIMEE: So that's it.

AABRIA: Okay.

AIMEE: So that's my bonus action.

AABRIA: So you didn't cast Banishing Smite.

AIMEE: Oh, I didn't?

AABRIA: That idea that you--

AIMEE: Oh!

AABRIA: You are holding onto it for when you hit her.

AIMEE: Great!

AABRIA: Because you can hold onto this until it's the next time you hit a creature with a weapon attack. So now you have a Banishing Smite on deck on you.

ANJALI: Oh wow.

AABRIA: Does that make sense?

AIMEE: Uh-huh.

AABRIA: Cool. So this is your new concentration spell that you've got up and you're ready to pop off with. But you didn't catch her.

AIMEE: I didn't, I didn't.

AABRIA: Okay, so your action was to attempt to tap her with a dagger.

AIMEE: Didn't do it.

AABRIA: You did a bad job.

AIMEE: I did a bad job and now I've used my weapon. So that means I can't cast a spell or do a cantrip. I have to use my weapon again.

AABRIA: You've already-- Your bonus action was preparing the Banishing Smite.

AIMEE: Yeah, so now I have an action left.

AABRIA: Your action was attacking with the dagger.

AIMEE: Oh, oh! Gross!

AABRIA: So you've used your action and your bonus action. You've got movement.

AIMEE: Oh! Oh. I guess I'm going to stay right where I am.

AABRIA: Okay. So I love the idea that Opal attacked you and then all of a sudden, Opal said, "I'm sorry," tickled the back of your knee and just is sort of there.

ANJALI: What is--

AIMEE: What do you think?

AABRIA: Big--

(laughter)

AABRIA: Big mixed signals.

AIMEE: Underpromise, underdeliver.

(laughter)

ERICA: Morrighan's just bleeding all over and is just like--

AABRIA: I'm sorry, I tried.

AABRIA: Fucking crazy.

AIMEE: I tried to banish you. It didn't work.

ERICA: It's fine.

AIMEE: I'm sorry!

ERICA: I've never wanted to be banished more.

AIMEE: I know.

ERICA: In my entire life.

AIMEE: I'm so sorry.

AABRIA: Anything else you want to do?

AIMEE: What can I do?

AABRIA: Movement away would potentially incur--

AIMEE: No, no, no. I'm going to stay, I'm going to say,

AABRIA: Okay, and that is your turn. Dariax.

ANJALI: (groans)

MATT: All right. So a lot's going down around here.

AABRIA: Mm-hmm!

MATT: As the magical influence has tempted to find me previously, looking about the battlefield and the chaos that's ensuing, watching the multi-armed, twice-crowned over here slicing into one of our friends.

AABRIA: Yay!

MATT: But I trust she's got a plan. I shout out everyone: We got to go! Opal says we got to go. I trust she knows what she's doing. I'm going to cast, at 7th-level, Mass Cure Wounds at a path just beneath where Dorian is so I can get you, and Cyrus, and Dorian in it. I think I'm outside of 30 feet from him. Am I?

AABRIA: Oh.

MATT: Shit.

AABRIA: I don't want to not give that to you. Oh god, this is the one--

MATT: Play by the rules.

AABRIA: I'm not going to play by the rules. You cannot make me.

MATT: (laughs)

AABRIA: There we go. I got it here.

ERICA: Is it just a straight line?

AABRIA: You made it!

MATT: I made it?

AABRIA: You made it!

MATT: All righty, it's a radius. I can choose multiple targets in the area. That's not too bad.

AABRIA: You would, tech-- Yeah. You would make it. I think Fy'ra Rai is just out of it.

ERICA: Am I out of it?

MATT: 23 points.

AABRIA: No. It would also catch, yeah. It would also catch Morri.

ERICA: Oh, okay, gotcha.

MATT: Yeah, so 23 points of healing to Dorian, Morrighan, and my myself.

ERICA: Oh my gosh.

ANJALI: Well done.

ERICA: Whoa!

MATT: With that, I'm also going to start climbing down and start moving past Fy'ra Rai with the intent of heading off the map that way over time.

ANJALI: Where are you going?

MATT: But we got to leave. We're out of here.

ANJALI: What, no.

MATT: I'm just climbing down.

AABRIA: Just slowly making his way down. ♪ Makin' his way ♪

AIMEE: ♪ Makin' my way ♪

MATT: I'm finding Orym. Don't worry. We got to go. That's my turn. Actually, as a bonus action, I turn back and be like: We got this. Give you an inspiration die.

(laughter)

ANJALI: I think I already have his bardic inspiration from last time.

AABRIA: Yeah, take it!

ANJALI: Can I take two? Does it stack?

ERICA: By the way, when you gave me inspiration, do I have two inspirations?

AABRIA: No, you only have one at a time.

ANJALI: Okay, so I only have one.

ERICA: Oh.

MATT: Well, you have his. I didn't know. But I spent it anyway.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

ERICA: So I just still have one?

AABRIA: Nope.

MATT: I didn't know any better.

AABRIA: You can't stack more than one GM inspiration.

ERICA: Oh okay.

AABRIA: So the fact that I was like, "another one," if you didn't have one it did something.

ANJALI: But you can stack bardic and regular.

AABRIA: Yeah, bardic is different, but GM inspiration.

ANJALI: Oh, if you can stack bardic then I can take it. Yeah yeah.

MATT: So you get a d6.

AABRIA: Yeah, you get it. You're good.

ANJALI: A d6?

MATT: d6 for me. I'm not a cool bard. Yet.

ANJALI: Yeah.

AABRIA: Aw, buddy.

MATT: I'll get there.

AIMEE: ♪ (recorder "Jurassic Park" theme) ♪

MATT: Hey.

AABRIA: (laughs)

MATT: People sleep on the recorder, man. I'm bringing it back. My jazz 'corder. It's going to be great.

AIMEE: ♪ ("Jurassic Park" theme) ♪

ROBBIE: (sighs pleasantly)

AABRIA: Can I get--

MATT: Just spilled on myself. I'm a mess right now.

AABRIA: I didn't see that at all.

ERICA: I don't know.

MATT: It's a good thing my shirt doesn't show it at all immediately.

ANJALI: That first round so hard.

AABRIA: Not at all immediately.

ROBBIE: I think it looks nice.

MATT: I'm a messy baby. I'm so bad at this.

AABRIA: You're a messy baby.

ROBBIE: It looks nice.

AABRIA: Matthew, can I get a wisdom saving throw from you?

MATT: Yes, you may.

AABRIA: Thank you.

MATT: And I'm Blessed. That is going to be, ooh, 16 minus one, 15.

AABRIA: (laughs)

ANJALI: Baby doll.

MATT: I'm rolling great, y'all. Oh, by the way, before I forget, this combat is brought to you by WizKids Minis!

(laughter and cheering)

MATT: Uk'otoa!

ANJALI: WizKids! WizKids!

MATT: Uk'otoa painted and unpainted miniature is available now.

AABRIA: (whispered) Uk'otoa.

MATT: It's awesome. You can join forces with the Mighty Nein to take on the terrifying Uk'otoa or throw Uk'otoa at your party and watch them scream as you destroy them with this terrifying underwater monstrosity.

ERICA: Oh my.

AABRIA: I like him.

MATT: But you can order the behemoth today. Expand your collection of Critical miniatures at wizkids.io/CRminis and your local game store.

AIMEE: Eyy!

AABRIA: Eyy!

(cheering)

ANJALI: WizKids!

MATT: 15 wisdom saving throw. Am I good?

AABRIA: (laughs) No.

MATT: Okay.

AIMEE: (laughs)

AABRIA: I will say, though, you see a flicker before-- It's almost like if Dariax had any experience with TV where you turn a channel or you turn the TV off and you have that, old school TVs, that burned-in after image on the TV.

MATT: Yeah, yeah.

AABRIA: You get a little flash of an after image as you're looking at Opal and informing Fy'ra Rai, "Hey, here's a little inspiration. We've got this. Opal knows what she's doing." As you say that, you feel that little after image of what Opal actually looks like, not the massive drider that you saw. Different, three sets of arms, but not as bad as you see and believe and understand. It's like adding that second compulsion, that bit of enchantment magic that sits on your mind, the signals are starting to cross, and then it resolves back to the big spider drider situation. But for a minute, for a moment, you see things as they truly are as you continue to climb down.

MATT: Very confusing, but I'll sleep on it.

AABRIA: Buddy.

MATT: That's my turn.

AABRIA: Okay.

ANJALI: Uh.

AABRIA: Spiders.

AIMEE: Sorry.

MATT: I got this. I got this.

ROBBIE: Spiders.

AIMEE: Live to fight another day.

MATT: Yeah.

AABRIA: Let's go one at a time. Let's start with Cyrus. I'm sending someone home. With a 19 on the die, that's going to do it. Hold up. The spider digs in, pressing with multiple sets of legs into Cyrus' chest. Though he is screaming and howling in pain from the thunder from being pressed upon by this massive spider, his body gives way. A set of arms, pincers into, at the juncture of his shoulders and his chest. The second pushes. It takes a little longer. There's more resistance as it pushes between the bones of his rib cage, but they sink down. You all watch the spider over Cyrus drops down by maybe half a foot as its pincers make it all the way to the ground beneath, and Cyrus stops screaming. That's all you know. Next up. That's one hit from the spider and the second misses. Both of these spiders turn, rounding on you. The first one, the one in the front, swings and hits. The second one, just a little too dazed and disoriented from you spitting in its face and then absolutely bodying it with your crystal rapier. The first one does 14 points--

ERICA: Jesus.

AABRIA: -- of piercing damage. As you just get-- It rears back, that same surprise spider, and one of the lower arms, you're looking up at the bigger arms, and one of the lower arms upper cuts you and finds its way under your rib cage. These things are now pushing towards vital organs and you feel it pierce in and pulls back. My other spiders are going to make their way over to Fy'ra Rai.

ANJALI: Come at me, bro.

AABRIA: This one will come up, too. You know what, no. I'll give it a chance. Sure. The second one doesn't make it. You see it booking towards you, Fy'ra Rai. Instead it goes over to the gems--

ANJALI: (groans)

AABRIA: -- and crushes them. Opal, you don't remember-- You remember deciding that an Opal was your favorite gemstone one day in by Byroden. So pretty and interesting. There's something in the milkiness of them, they're a little mysterious in a way that colored gemstones aren't. The cloudiness, the thing that's obscured in them is a part of it. You remember that suddenly, and you are suddenly aware that you don't remember what you were called before you chose the name Opal. That's gone from you. Fy'ra Rai.

ANJALI: Mm.

AABRIA: Does a 21 hit?

ANJALI: It sure does.

AABRIA: Please let me hit a monk. That's my only goal in life is to hit a monk once, and I finally did it.

ANJALI: I don't even know if I have any defenses on this.

AABRIA: You take 11 points of piercing damage. God, that you're going to negate somehow with your 96 things. I hate it here. Monks are hard and scary. Same thing. This spider rears back and one of its top arms is going to push down through your trap at the top of where your neck meets your shoulder. You feel it slide past your clavicle as it reaches for something, aorta, where blood moves. These things. I think you know it because of your connection to the Wildmother, suddenly stronger, that these things are abominations. But they are still based on things that exist in nature and nature knows how nature lives and how nature dies. This thing is reaching for vital parts of you, getting past your little carapace and seeks to end you.

AABRIA: You can't have me either. It's not a missile. You can't deflect it.

AABRIA: It's not a missile. Sorry. It's not a ranged attack. This thing is right up in your grilly-grill.

ANJALI: Okay.

AABRIA: Here. And there's now one.

MATT: You also got this cool little spider guy in the front.

AABRIA: Right, yeah. That's my one last little fuck you.

ERICA: Is the spider that's on top of Cyrus messed up at all? Or is he totally trapped?

AABRIA: Yeah, he took some damage from the thunder.

ERICA: I'm trying to figure out how strong these spiders are, but I don't--

ANJALI: You almost ended those two.

AABRIA: You bloodied two of them. "Bloodied" is usually DM code for half damage.

AIMEE and ANJALI: Oh.

MATT: The other ACs are 15.

AABRIA: ACs are 15.

ERICA: I can't read, so this is tough and I can't do math, so.

AABRIA: Thank god you're pretty. You all feel--

AIMEE: But a different kind of pretty. Not the same.

ERICA: Kind of different.

AIMEE: Yeah.

AABRIA: Oh, I missed a spider. This one makes it up.

AIMEE: But you're so tall.

AABRIA: And crushes something else in you. Opal.

AIMEE: Am I up?

AABRIA: No. Another spider makes it to another point and pillar of your personality.

AIMEE: Great.

AABRIA: And there's now a stranger inside you and it's not the Spider Queen.

AIMEE: Who is it?

AABRIA: It's Ted. You don't know Ted anymore.

AIMEE: (gasps) No.

AABRIA: With a loud--

ERICA: Oh my god!

MATT: What?

ANJALI: What the actual fuck?

ROBBIE: Fuck you!

ERICA: Excuse me?

ROBBIE: That thing's got people mouth.

AABRIA: (laughs) He's got a people mouth.

ROBBIE: I don't like it.

ANJALI: I don't like it in any way.

AABRIA: One more buddy--

ROBBIE: That's pretty cool.

AABRIA: -- appears on the field.

ERICA: Feels Miyazaki-esque.

AABRIA: You hear in your ears, Opal, "Good, you're sending them away. Make sure they go, or I'll make sure they stay gone." As this massive spider, and with every step it takes, it seems to pierce into the stone of this ground. It leaves a snail trail as it goes. Poison, acid, this thing actively corrupts where it is. You are suddenly aware, I'm not going to make you roll about it because you are the champion of the Spider Queen. This is simply known to you. She is locked behind the divine gate. Before she had you, this was one of the strongest shows of force that she could bring into the world of Exandria without violating the wholeness of that gate. So essentially, she brought in her secondary closer.

AIMEE: Okay.

AABRIA: A little bit for you, a lot of it for you. Keep going. With that, we come back up and around-- Oh no! Cyrus.

AIMEE: Wait, didn't he just get the pincers in him?

AABRIA: Mm-hmm.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

AABRIA: What's more interesting, if I roll or if you do?

ROBBIE: Fuck you, I'll do it.

AIMEE: (laughs)

AABRIA: Okay.

ROBBIE: All right.

AABRIA: Make a death save with disadvantage.

ROBBIE: A dex save with disadvantage.

AABRIA: No, no. A death save.

ROBBIE: A death save with disadvantage.

MATT: With disadvantage.

ERICA: Can you still heal someone when they're--

AABRIA: Mm-hmm.

ROBBIE: Mm-hmm.

ERICA: Okay.

ROBBIE: (scoffs)

ANJALI: Aw.

ROBBIE: 17 and two.

AABRIA: Thank god it wasn't a one.

ROBBIE: Mm. (laughs) Yeah.

AABRIA: Dorian, I think you know, in whatever part of you knows your family like you know yourself, that Cyrus is dying. Back up to the top. The Spider Queen sits back in your mind. You know that this would be a time for her to exert more influence. What you feel from her is sitting back and watching to see what you do next. Do you do or say anything to her before we get back to the top? Morri, you'll be up. Dorian on deck.

AIMEE: Yeah. I think she says: I think you need me more than I need you.

AABRIA: Intimidation, disadvantage.

ERICA: (gasps)

ANJALI: Mm.

AIMEE: Can I use my inspiration?

AABRIA: If you want to. Call it now.

ERICA: Is it a save? Is it a save?

ANJALI: Yeah, there you go.

AABRIA: Huh?

ERICA: Is it save?

AABRIA: No, it's just an ability check that you're rolling flat now.

MATT: Yeah, so one roll.

ANJALI: So one--

AIMEE: Oh, just one?

ANJALI: Because you used your inspiration.

AIMEE: Oh.

AABRIA: Yeah. You negated what was going to be rolling it twice and taking the lowest one.

AIMEE: Got it, got it, got it, got it. Okay.

ERICA: Okay.

AIMEE: 15. Nine plus six is 15.

MATT: Yeah.

AABRIA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: (sighs)

ROBBIE: Hmm.

AABRIA: You feel her lean forward again. "I don't know if that's true."

AIMEE: You've taken everything from me. I have nothing else to lose.

AABRIA: "That's definitely not true." Your awareness is pulled towards Cyrus as the spider, she activates her action. She rears back, the spider rears back. But what's the difference between them? Double hits. Hey, Matt, what's the rule on death saves when you attack someone while they're down and it's in melee?

MATT: Well, it's advantage on the attack roll.

AABRIA: Yeah. Yeah, okay. Okay.

MATT: Or, I think if it's in melee, it auto hits.

AABRIA: It does. Does it auto crit?

MATT: It auto crits, yeah.

AABRIA: Yeah.

AIMEE: Aw, fuck.

AABRIA: And a crit would be?

MATT: Two death saves.

AABRIA: Two death saves.

MATT: Yeah.

AABRIA: That would be, because you failed it--

MATT: Yeah.

AABRIA: That's all three, yeah?

MATT: Yeah.

AABRIA: That's what I thought.

MATT: Okay.

AABRIA: Cool. Thank you. Opal, you are not looking at Cyrus, but you cannot help but see it. You feel it under your own hands like it was your daggers and not the pincers of the Spider Queen's minions doing it. A punch and blood rushes up, and then it slows because the heart pushing it stops. Cyrus Wyvernwind is dead. The Spider Queen leans in, "Well, at least they know it wasn't your fault because you decided to run your fucking mouth.

MATT: (exhales)

AABRIA: "Who needs who?" Even through it all, you cannot help but hear the slight shake in her voice. Morrighan, you're up.

ERICA: I had a plan. I had a whole plan.

AABRIA: Oh, give me insight or perception with advantage.

ERICA: Okay. That's a 15. Then that's a-- Yeah, so 15.

AABRIA: You feel it because the goddess you serve is one of death and transition. You don't see, you could guess, but you know you had-- There were six of you and now there are five. There is more a depth of feeling and you can feel wings surrounding you and covering you, and that she is hiding more of the information from you. It is enough to know that he is gone.

ERICA: Okay. Morrighan's been watching that like a hawk, because that was going to be her next move. Is the spider still alive that killed him?

ERICA: Yes. Yes.

ERICA: Okay, great. So I'm going to roll to attack. I'm going to rabbit hop, use my bonus action to rabbit hop. It's 25 feet, so I think I can get to the spider, right? Can I jump up in the air and over, or how does that work?

AABRIA: 25 will get you-- If you angle it off, it'll be about here and you'll still have a little bit more movement to get over.

ERICA: Okay, because I just don't want to provoke an opportunity attack.

AABRIA: No, your rabbit hop will clear you of your three opponents.

ERICA: Okay, so I want to rabbit hop down.

AABRIA: God, you rolled so good on that. Mass Cure Wounds, too.

ERICA: Okay. Then--

AABRIA: You move all the way over?

ERICA: Yeah, I'm going to move all the way over.

AABRIA: Cool.

ERICA: I'm going to get in striking range and then I'm going to roll to hit. Yeah, I'm going to roll to hit and then I get a blessed busting, right? Are we still Blessed or did you--

AABRIA and MATT: You're still Blessed.

ERICA: Still Blessed. All right, let me--

MATT and AIMEE: Hashtag blessed.

ERICA: Are you fucking kidding me?

AABRIA: Stop! No!

MATT: Always Blessed. Never goes.

ERICA: Six. What is it, 15? Is that--

AABRIA: Yeah, it's a 15 to hit it.

ERICA: Wait. Oh god. Six plus seven is 13.

MATT: 13 plus?

ANJALI and AABRIA: Plus.

ANJALI: Plus four!

ERICA: Four! So I hit.

AABRIA: You hit.

ERICA: Okay. So going to take--

AABRIA: Do you want to roll both of your attacks on this?

ERICA: Yes.

AABRIA: Yeah.

ERICA: So I'll roll again.

AABRIA: Yeah, do it again.

ERICA: That's an 11.

AABRIA: Plus, plus.

ERICA: Plus seven. So that's going to hit.

AABRIA: Oh yeah. Yeah, you're great.

ERICA: So I have two attacks?

AABRIA: Yes, and they both land.

ERICA: They both land. I'm sorry I'm like this. It sucks.

AABRIA: No, it's okay.

ERICA: So I'll roll to hit twice with my rapier. Okay. Yeah, I think Morrighan's just-- She was going to do a whole thing. Okay. So, that's a seven, and then that's an eight. Then I get two more because of my passive Divine Smite. Right?

AABRIA: Yeah.

ERICA: Yeah. So that's an eight. Ooh! And that's a seven.

ANJALI: 23 and seven is 30.

AABRIA: The wrath. You, Morrighan, are devastated, but the wrath of your god shines through. Tell me how you destroy this spider that destroyed your friend.

ERICA: I want to start stabbing it and never stop. I just want to fucking-- I want to kick it off of him. I don't want to stop until it's minced meat.

AABRIA: You kick it and it rolls off and away and exposes that underbelly. But I think before Cyrus slips off of it, you see where he has run through in two places. His body slides away and then you stab and you destroy this thing. There's no glory in it. There is no justice or revenge, but it is gone.

ERICA: I watch as my blood mixes with the spider's. I stagger up to my feet, because I think I was probably on my knees at this point, as close as I can. I look over to the dick gems.

(laughter)

AABRIA: You said that with all of the heat.

ANJALI: Yes.

AABRIA: Damn! Beautiful.

ERICA: With my Haste, I use my second action to stumble over to those stupid fucking dick gems. I grab them in my hands.

AABRIA: Every other one of these interactions has come with a memory specifically triggered. But Morrighan, I want you to tell me what of Opal you save. It can be anything. You feel it, as you grab those gemstones, you feel the parts of her, how many holes, like a tiara cheaply made where the gemstones fall out. Battered. You can feel the things missing. Her sister's name, her own. Morrighan, this fight is cruel and your god doesn't even want you to stop it. But you can save it, some part of her. Tell me what.

ERICA: I just want her to know, I want you to know that no matter what you do here, you can always come back, no matter what. I know you don't mean it. And I know that you'll never ever be her abomination.

AIMEE: Thank you. Sorry.

ERICA: You don't need to be. This is bigger than all of us.

AIMEE: I love you.

ERICA: I love you, too. And I'm sorry. (sniffing)

AABRIA: Is there anything else you want to do?

ERICA: No, I think Morrighan just keeps looking at all the blood. There's so much blood and it's all over the dick gems.

(laughter)

AABRIA: Please take inspiration. Way to make a joke through truly the roughest shit.

AIMEE: Yeah.

ERICA: You keep giving me inspiration, but I've never used it. So I just have one and then it rolls over to another one.

AABRIA: Bitch, you have to use this inspiration, please. I'm losing my mind!

(laughter)

ERICA: I think I did everything I can do. So, yeah.

AABRIA: I think you look down at the gems and the blood and blackness that mars those parts of Opal that are left. You look down at Cyrus's body. He was so fucking stupid, but one of the nicest people you have ever met in your time in Exandria. He was sincere in his kindness and awful with money, and truly the worst at cards you had ever seen.

ERICA: Yeah.

AABRIA: You know exactly why he got into the money problems--

ERICA: Yeah.

AABRIA: -- that sent him toward you. But you also know because he told you, even as you cleaned him out for the fifth night in a row.

ERICA: Yeah.

AABRIA: He had never had a better time than getting absolutely fleeced by the prettiest card shark he had ever met.

ERICA: Yeah.

ANJALI: Oh.

ERICA: I actually do have one more thing, because I have more move action, right?

AABRIA: Mm-hmm.

ERICA: I want to leave.

AABRIA: Yeah. You turn, and with an intention to go. As you turn your back on Opal, taking with you the dick gems and the sense that there is some part of her that the Spider Queen will never take away from her. You are joined at your side by the spirit of Cyrus, as your time with the Matron of Ravens is just beginning. But one of the duties of her chosen is to escort people home.

ERICA: Oh! What?

AABRIA: Cyrus will leave with you if you go. Do you leave?

ERICA: I leave.

AABRIA: Morrighan turns and leaves the battlefield. [minis clattering]

AABRIA: Ah! Tree!

ERICA: And I take all the trees with me.

AABRIA: You take--

(laughter)

AABRIA: You take one tree with you, because you keep what you kill.

ERICA: Yeah.

AABRIA: Dorian. Oh god, Dorian, you're up.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

ERICA: I have to pee.

AABRIA: Yeah.

ROBBIE: Go pee. It's a good time.

AABRIA: I think you've earned it, bud.

ANJALI: Yeah, please.

ROBBIE: It's a good time it.

MATT: You're allowed.

AABRIA: It's a stress piss.

ERICA: It's a stress piss.

AABRIA: Brought to you by WizKids. Wiz.

MATT: The best pisses are.

ANJALI: Wiz.

AABRIA: There you go, you get it.

ROBBIE: Yeah. Am I still, because of Opal's previous spell from a while, am I compelled to walk away as her suggestion commands?

AABRIA: Yeah.

ROBBIE: Okay. Can I buck against it, is it a wisdom saving throw?

AABRIA: Yeah.

ROBBIE: Okay. I'm going to try.

AABRIA: Technically, no, but--

ROBBIE: Technically no? No, tell me.

AABRIA: I would say that perhaps seeing the death of your brother counts as taking damage sufficient to allow you a wisdom save at the top of your turn.

MATT: Emotional damage.

ROBBIE: Emotional damage.

AABRIA: Emotional damage.

ROBBIE: What is the rule? Is it when I take a big hit?

AABRIA: Hey, look at me.

ROBBIE: Yeah?

AABRIA: The rule is whatever the fuck I say it is.

AABRIA: Yes!

ROBBIE: I was not questioning you.

AABRIA: No, I know. I know.

ROBBIE: All right.

AABRIA: You asked an honest question and I'm telling those of you out there that are like "Mass Sug--" Fuck you. That hurt, please make a wisdom saving throw. The difficulty is 18.

ROBBIE: 18? Oh wow. (sputters)

AABRIA: You could do it.

ROBBIE: I could.

ANJALI and AABRIA: You still have Bless.

ROBBIE: I'll try. And bardic inspiration?

MATT: Yeah, if you haven't used the one I gave you.

AABRIA: And DM Inspiration.

ROBBIE: No, no, no.

ANJALI: Yeah. You also still have your DM Inspiration, too.

ROBBIE: I did use that one.

MATT: You did use mine.

ROBBIE: I thought I did.

AABRIA: Look at me, look at me.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

AABRIA: Eye contact.

ROBBIE: Inspo?

AABRIA: You have DM Inspiration if you want to roll this with advantage.

ROBBIE: 18?

AABRIA: Mm-hmm.

ROBBIE: Boy, this is tough, tough stuff. That's a one.

MATT: Now, you roll with advantage, though.

AABRIA: Yeah.

ROBBIE: Yeah, I know.

MATT: With the DM Inspiration.

ROBBIE: (groans) Trash. 13.

AABRIA: Okay.

ROBBIE: Yeah, so I guess, I think Dorian is so shocked, he can't even change levels. So he does what he's told and he starts to walk away against his own will. His feet move and he doesn't really feel, he doesn't really feel as if he's walking. He's just moving through air and he can't control his body and I think he's thought about this before. I think when you only have a sibling, I think you sort of think about what it would be like to be without them and I think he's surprised by his own feelings and he feels like he would cry and break down and whatever. But he doesn't do any of those things, he's just angry. Like angry-angry. Pure sort of anger.

AABRIA: At what?

ROBBIE: Something ineffable, indescribable. He knows this isn't a person's fault, necessarily. Maybe it's resulting from a person's actions but this is just the way things go when you live a life that's free. So he just starts to walk. Rule question. And he's seething. Can I do anything as I leave? Are my actions negated in my turn or can I continue to just do as told?

MATT: It's up to the DM.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

AABRIA: You failed the save.

ROBBIE: Sure.

AABRIA: But I like your anger.

ROBBIE and ERICA: (chuckle)

AABRIA: You can do whatever you want as you leave. My question to you, just a point of clarification on your way out, do you leave in the direction of Dariax?

ROBBIE: Yeah, I'm walking in the same path.

AABRIA: You say walking like you're not in the sky.

ROBBIE: I imagine him--

AABRIA: I hate--

ERICA: Air walking, baby.

ROBBIE: Walking through the sky.

MATT: Like a "Super Mario Bros. 2" Princess with the lighting.

AABRIA: Yeah!

ROBBIE: Exactly, exactly.

ANJALI: Watching him overhead.

ROBBIE: He's surveying--

AABRIA: Yeah.

ROBBIE: -- the scene. This seething anger, walking the only direction he knows how and as he does, as he passes over this, I'm going to whisper to myself and whisper at this second-in-command that just was so--

AABRIA: Oh, that big spider?

ROBBIE: Uh-huh, that was just--

AABRIA: Yeah.

ROBBIE: -- summoned.

AABRIA: Hell yeah. Sorry. I'm going to cast 7th-level Geas.

AABRIA: (gasps)

ROBBIE: And just say--

AABRIA: (laughs)

AABRIA: Just say: Kill your mother. And then keep walking and it's a wisdom save 16.

AABRIA: Oh, I know how Geas works.

ROBBIE: I know. (laughs)

ANJALI: What is Geas? What? (stutters)

AABRIA: There is no King Daddy compulsion worse.

ERICA: King Daddy what?

AABRIA: What's my difficulty?

ROBBIE: It's a 16 wisdom save from the creature, yeah. All right. It's been a night of failures. It's in your hands.

AABRIA: You whisper that.

ERICA: I really thought I was going to fucking save him.

ROBBIE: Me too. It's all right.

AABRIA: And you feel it hit. It takes effect. This thing now has one understanding. If it has the opportunity, if it has a shot and it does not try to destroy the Spider Queen, 5d10 damage.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

AABRIA: That it can take once a day until the spell wears off.

ROBBIE: And at--

ANJALI: What is it?

AABRIA: No compulsion's stronger.

ROBBIE: And at 7th-level, it lasts for one year.

ERICA: Wait.

AABRIA: Yeah.

ERICA: Oh. (sputters)

AIMEE, ERICA, and ANJALI: (gasp)

AIMEE: That's fucking amazing.

AABRIA: You hear something in your ear as you go.

ANJALI: Is it--

AABRIA: A last little taunt. She didn't stop the spell. Too focused, too at the edge of her victory to risk it all to magically make her point, but she will add a little insult to injury as you go. "It could've been you and you could've put on the crown. Maybe it all would've gone differently. I wanted you first. You were too much of a coward to do what needed to be done and now your brother is dead and my favorite beast is turned against me. So I guess I'm going to have to make Opal count, huh?"

ROBBIE: I don't respond, I just keep on walking and turn my back on the whole scene.

AABRIA: You want to give me a little intimidation roll on the way out?

ROBBIE: Yeah!

ANJALI: Yeah.

AABRIA: Nothing bad will happen if you don't beat a--

ERICA: I like the idea that he just turns around and goes--

(laughter)

ERICA: -- and turns back around.

AABRIA: The spiders are all like, "Jesus!"

ROBBIE: I'm sure this roll will go the way the rest of the night's has.

AABRIA: It's not opposed.

ERICA: Ooh!

AABRIA: Just show me what you got.

ROBBIE: 19.

AABRIA: The image-- The images that the Spider Queen put in front of your eyes fall away in a moment. There is something in that flex of not acknowledging her, her deceit, her lies, her ability to break hearts and turn minds. She attempts to cast despair and wants to see you bleed and you don't offer that to her and a creature, a monster flinches at your disdain and you go.

ROBBIE: To the bathroom.

AABRIA: Yay, everyone goes to pee when they leave the game.

ROBBIE: I know, I know.

ERICA: I've peed twice.

ANJALI: (moans)

ERICA: Listen here. (laughs)

AABRIA: Sorry, bud.

ANJALI: Fuck.

ERICA: Oh, Dorian.

AABRIA: It's going great. Hey Fy'ra Rai, how you doing? (laughs) Everyone's going fucking through it right now.

ERICA: It's a lot.

AABRIA: I didn't do any murders.

ANJALI: All right, just above table--

AIMEE: You did, you killed Cyrus!

AABRIA: Meh, he's a--

MATT: There's still a few of us on the board.

AABRIA: Thanks, bud!

MATT: (chuckles)

ANJALI: So how much has happened telepathically?

AABRIA: Do we maintain telepathy?

ANJALI: Yes, I was going to say, what do I know has happened telepathically? Because I'm behind cover hanging with the spider.

AABRIA: Yeah, you and the spider.

ANJALI: All I know is Dariax is taking off and I don't understand why.

MATT: No, I told you. No, I told you, Opal said we got to run.

ANJALI: Yeah, but--

AABRIA: You heard Opal say that. You heard Dariax go, "We got to go, buddy. Here's some inspiration," as he slowly climbs down.

ANJALI: Don't leave!

MATT: And then I could climb--

AABRIA: And passes by those spiders unmolested. There is a narrative being built here by those actions.

ANJALI: Yeah, yeah.

AABRIA: Something powerfully magical happened.

ANJALI: Yes, and it's taken my boys, and did I see in the air Dorian take off?

AABRIA: Dorian's fucking dipped.

ANJALI: Yeah, I saw him.

AABRIA: Morrighan has dipped.

AIMEE: Can I say something to her telepathically? Is that a free action?

AABRIA: Interesting. You are kind of on the Spider Queen's shit list. So I want this to be (clicks tongue) a charisma saving throw against a difficulty of nine.

(laughter)

ANJALI: Sorry.

ERICA: Can I give anyone my inspiration that I have from you?

AABRIA: Can I have it?

ERICA: Three times-- No!

AABRIA: For me?

ERICA: I had inspiration three times. No!

ANJALI: Your charisma is 900.

AIMEE: Yeah, 10, it was 15.

ERICA: (laughs)

AIMEE: I rolled a five, but I have plus 10 charisma, thank god.

AABRIA: You punch a hole in the webbing that the Spider Queen is throwing in front of you to try to wall you off.

AIMEE: Yeah.

AABRIA: In this telepathic bond to your friends. Go ahead!

AIMEE: Fy'ra Rai. Trust me. Do as much damage to me as you can.

AABRIA: You have to say that louder, there's no universe. The microphones can't be that good.

ERICA: (gasps) (whispers) I don't know if these ones are shock--

AIMEE: (whispers) These are pretty good.

AABRIA: (whispers) I know, these are very good.

AIMEE: (whispers) This is an ASMR episode now.

AABRIA: (whispers) I'm sorry.

AIMEE: (whispers) ASMR episode now.

ERICA: (tongue lolling)

ANJALI: (purring)

MATT: We got to go!

ANJALI: Sorry.

AABRIA: (laughs)

ANJALI: Go.

MATT: That was Dariax.

AIMEE: Just do as much damage to me as you can. Just trust me.

ANJALI: I hear it very much in her voice, the way she just sounded?

AABRIA: Mm-hmm.

AIMEE: This isn't someone else, this is her?

AABRIA: Mm-hmm.

ANJALI: If I were to run in a straight line toward her, I know the spider gets an opportunity attack, that's fine. I know there's a ton of terrain, but I also have--

AABRIA: A scrilliondy movement.

ANJALI: Yeah, and acrobatics, and I have the walking up walls and--

AABRIA: Yeah.

ANJALI: -- across water and shit. So can I get to her?

AABRIA: Yes, make a strength saving throw as the attack this spider attempts is a grapple.

ANJALI: Okay, so nine plus 10 is 19 plus--

AABRIA: I hate monks.

ANJALI: Two is 21.

AABRIA: I hate them. Yeah, you make it.

AIMEE: Pretty good, it's pretty good.

AABRIA: He does not do any damage to you. Because it thought it would roll better. It didn't roll bad, it got a 19.

ANJALI: Also, just for flavor, I am so angry because everyone is leaving and part of me knows that they can't do anything about it, but I know there's no way, I just gave myself to the goddess to save Opal.

AABRIA: Mm-hmm.

ANJALI: I'm either going to tear that shit off her head or I'm going to be fighting beside her for the gods.

AABRIA: What is your intention in this moment?

ANJALI: (heavy exhale) My intention in this moment is to grab the crown and pull as hard as I can.

ROBBIE: She's very strong.

AABRIA: Arcana, medicine, religion, or insight. Your call.

ANJALI: Insight. 21.

AIMEE: Whew.

AABRIA: You are strong enough to tear this from her.

ROBBIE: Wow.

AABRIA: She will not survive it.

ERICA and ROBBIE: (gasp)

AIMEE: Oh fuck.

AABRIA: How badly do you want to free Opal, twice-crowned?

ROBBIE: You okay?

ERICA: Yep, I'm just sad.

AABRIA: I'm going to run up to her and I'm going to stop right at her and reach for it and hold it and I know that it will pierce my hands.

AABRIA: You bleed freely.

ANJALI: What do you want? Do you want to go? I think they're in the same place, I will go beside you. I am here to protect you from anything, including myself, if you need me.

AIMEE: I want you to go.

AABRIA: Opal.

AIMEE: Yeah?

AABRIA: Insight, religion, nature, or medicine. Your call.

AIMEE: Shit. They're all trash.

AABRIA: Yeah.

(laughter)

AIMEE: Did you look before?

AABRIA: No, I know what those stats do.

AIMEE: 12.

AABRIA: Which one did you go for?

AIMEE: They're all the same.

AABRIA: It just cut--

AIMEE: What were they?

AABRIA: (sputters)

AIMEE: Insight, religion, medicine, and what?

AABRIA: Nature.

AIMEE: Nature? I guess insight.

AABRIA: She is holding your crown and you feel it grow a little wider. It reaches in, pushing past the bone of your skull as it touches your mind and it touches your brain and you feel it extend out, piercing into Fy'ra Rai and it touches her blood and that touches her heart. You are connected in this moment and I think you see something or you know something. Her connection with the Wildmother, stronger than ever, not what you have or experience. You are unique. In this world, there are only a couple like you. But she is as devoted to her deity as you must be now and all of the gods of Exandria are bent to equal purpose in your estimation and belief. I'm not going to speak for Matt when he comes back with the side campaign.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

AIMEE: You do what you want, Matt.

AABRIA: You do what you want with your little guys.

MATT: I don't know who you're talking about, I'm Dariax.

(laughter)

AABRIA: He's so deep in it!

ERICA: This is such a nice break for you, isn't it?

MATT: Oh, it's great. I just get to let go.

AABRIA: (laughs)

ERICA: Yeah.

AIMEE: Let go and let Aabria.

MATT: No thoughts.

ERICA: No thoughts, head empty, one brain cell working hard.

ROBBIE: Mm-hmm.

AABRIA: If you are fighting the same enemy, she can stay by your side. Even this, I think you could sell to the Spider Queen.

AIMEE: Anything that keeps her alive, I want to do.

AABRIA: Okay.

AIMEE: So--

AABRIA: So we're going to enter into negotiations now.

AIMEE: Okay.

AABRIA: The three of us: You, me, and the Spider Queen.

ANJALI: The one thing I can say is the second she says: I want you to go, I release the crown.

AABRIA: Okay.

ANJALI: But I'm not moving.

AABRIA: You release the crown and you see where it has pierced your hands. At the point it presses in that dark black, it feels more like iron than bramble. You pull back just enough to see that where it has pierced you, it's given way to green, like the plant that it was before it was forged, or at least what it was imitating. Circlet of Barbed Vision.

ANJALI: Oh.

AABRIA: An awakened vestige has let you go at the Wildmother's behest. You feel yourself still pierced, still connected to Opal, and because you are connected to Opal, you are connected to the Spider Queen. She leans in. "(snide huff) Talk to me. Why is she still alive?"

AIMEE: Because you need her, just like you need me.

AABRIA: "You know what happened the last time you told me what I need."

AIMEE: I know.

ANJALI: I'm here for my god. I believe she has similar purpose for you, even if she has different methods of going about it.

AABRIA: You can see and feel the Spider Queen's like, "How the fuck did you get on this call?"

(laughter)

ANJALI: Tap, tap. Am I on? Did we do the three-way calling?

AIMEE: She did the conference call.

ANJALI: Did it work? Yes. I joined the call, right? I joined the call.

AABRIA: She's like, "How do I kick her from the room?"

AIMEE: (AI voice) "Now entering: (Fy'ra Rai) Fy'ra Rai."

AABRIA, ANJALI, and AIMEE: (laugh)

AIMEE: (AI voice) "Is on the call."

ANJALI: Nice.

AABRIA: Who gave her the meeting code?

AIMEE: Yeah.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

AABRIA: "Okay. What? Who are you? All right, I know who you are. What do you want, other than to stick around like a bug I can't seem to squish?"

ANJALI: If you won't leave her--

AABRIA: "I won't."

ANJALI: -- and I won't leave her. But if both of our--

AABRIA: "Don't you have a sister to go kill?"

ANJALI: No, I have a sister to walk beside.

AABRIA: "I feel like I set you up for that."

ANJALI: Mm. The Wildmother and you, I don't know how you are connected, but I know you are both in danger. I am here as a protector for Opal, and now for the Wildmother, which I believe means, whether I like it or not, our purposes are the same.

AABRIA: Persuasion check.

ANJALI: Got a bunch of inspiration.

AABRIA: If you roll below a 20--

ROBBIE: (gawks) (laughs)

AABRIA: Don't roll below a 20.

ANJALI: Cool. Do I get to add all my thingies?

AABRIA: Add everything you got.

ANJALI: Excellent, because I have held all of the things back.

AABRIA: Yeah, buddy.

ANJALI: All right. So that's a one, so that one's not going to count because that's one of them.

ROBBIE: (hyperventilating)

AABRIA: Yeah, of course, of course, of course.

ANJALI: I have inspiration.

AABRIA: That never happened, that never happened, bud.

ANJALI: I have inspiration, so I'll roll that again.

AABRIA: Never happened.

ERICA: Oh, that's where it is.

ANJALI: Can I add my bardic-- Do I have to say ahead of time that I'm adding my bardic?

AABRIA: Nah.

ANJALI: Okay.

AABRIA: You're good.

ANJALI: That's a two.

MATT: How do you get to reroll?

AABRIA: Where are the rolls coming from, bud?

ANJALI: That's it, the reroll--

AABRIA: You got the reroll from using your inspiration.

ANJALI: -- was the inspiration.

MATT: Yeah.

AABRIA: She got a two the second time?

MATT: Yeah.

ROBBIE: No, our queen of high rolls?

AABRIA: (laughs) They had to run out sometime.

ROBBIE: (sighs)

MATT: Now here's the thing.

AABRIA: (laughs)

AIMEE: (laughs)

MATT: What's your bonus to persuasion?

AABRIA: Yeah, is it a plus 18?

AIMEE: Dariax has now entered the call.

ANJALI: No, it is three.

AABRIA: Okay. Can you please--

ANJALI: So it's a five.

MATT: So that's a five.

AABRIA: -- add a participant waiting room?

MATT: You have bardic inspiration.

ANJALI: I can use both of them?

AABRIA: Opal, put the waiting room back up!

ERICA: What bout mine? I'm bleeding inspirations!

ANJALI: Oh, wait, wait!

ERICA: Can she just have one more?

ANJALI: I have two bardic inspirations--

AABRIA: Okay.

ANJALI: -- that I can add on.

ERICA: Oh my god.

MATT: All you have to roll is a 10 on-- You have to roll a 15 on both dice.

AABRIA: Before you do this--

ROBBIE: You can do it!

AABRIA: I will offer you something.

ANJALI: Yeah. Okay.

ERICA: Oh my god.

ANJALI: I guess that's not really physically possible.

AABRIA: That two was real bad.

MATT: It is.

ERICA: Could I have bequeath-ald my inspiration?

AABRIA: That's not how any of this works.

ERICA: (wailing) Bah!

AABRIA: You can continue the conversation, but it will cost you.

ERICA: I had so much and I never used it!

ROBBIE: Can't do shit.

AABRIA: A little pound of flesh.

ERICA: All I can do is shit myself.

ANJALI: Okay.

AABRIA: Take nine points of piercing damage, as the wounds in your hands flare hot like the beginning of an infection. But what is heat to you?

ANJALI: Do I see her in this conversation or only hear her?

AABRIA: Do you want to see her?

ANJALI: I do.

AABRIA: She steps forward.

ANJALI: As she steps forward and I feel this pain, it's like I have my hand on a hot-- It's like I had my hand on this, but I am not flinching and my eyes flare more fire.

AABRIA: "Look, I let you stay on the call, don't push your fucking luck, I'm listening. Keep talking."

ANJALI: I am a strong champion. I am here.

AABRIA: "You looking to enlist?"

ANJALI: No, that spot is taken.

AABRIA: "Sure, what'd she offer you? I could do better."

ANJALI: She offered me Opal's safety to help. That's all I wanted. Whatever it would take to keep her safe and to be able to be by her side.

AABRIA: "You mean it?"

ANJALI: I do.

AABRIA: I think this part of the conversation, you see the Spider Queen's lips moving and you do not hear her words.

ANJALI: I have lost one sister completely on this planet. I was born to be a protector. I was not born to walk alone for solitary purpose. This is my sister now. And if you take her, you will have to let me come beside her in some way. This, I believe, is a reasonable compromise.

AABRIA: "You are aware of the danger. Do you know what she's up against? What your goddess is up against. Ludinus doesn't know. He is a petulant child."

ANJALI: Whatever it is, if it has scared all of you, I know our chances are slim, but I'm not leaving this planet without a fight and I don't want to leave the Wildmother or Opal without a fight. I will not walk away.

AABRIA: Intimidation check with advantage.

ANJALI: Aw, come on, just for fuck's sake. If you don't want to use your charisma, you can use your strength modifier instead.

AABRIA: Okay, strength modifier?

AABRIA: You can decide.

ANJALI: Whichever is bigger?

AABRIA: Yeah.

ANJALI: Okay. Oh, that would be the modifier, not that, that's okay. Then let me stick with this. It would be this because that's the saving throws. So that's the five, so it should be, I would rather take the eight.

MATT: Well, it's eight when it's charisma. But because your strength modifier is two higher, it would be a 10.

ANJALI: Oh, I see, thank god for you, Matthew Mercer.

MATT: I've played this a few times.

(laughter)

AABRIA: Just a little bit.

ANJALI: 11 plus, what was it, eight, 10?

AIMEE: 10, right?

MATT: 10.

ANJALI: 21.

AABRIA: You are locked in a moment with the Spider Queen, a long one. In the time that you have known them, you knew that she'd circled your friends, finding her way in through the vestige you all found. Though you were not there when it was found, you were part. Who to tempt, who to bring over. And the Spider Queen is many things, but not a fool, and she knew better than to bark up your particular tree too hard. But she is rattled. You know that all of this, the death and destruction and compulsion is from someone with no other recourse. And pride, god-- The things that separate gods and mortals, mortality. But for me, Aabria, pride. Who calls themself a god? And what happens when that pride is shaken, when mortality is back on the table? You are looking a woman in the eye and she needs all the friends she can get. She takes you off of mute.

AIMEE: Hello? You guys still there?

ANJALI: I'm here.

AABRIA: "She means it. She can stay."

AIMEE: You know, it's tough for Opal because she doesn't want her friend to have the same fate. But it's not her choice, it's not Opal's choice.

AIMEE: Is it Opal's preference inside of her heart that Fy'ra Rai run away?

AIMEE: I mean, I don't want my friend to have this as her future.

ANJALI: But I don't have that in my future. I'm the Wildmother's champion.

AIMEE: Yeah.

ANJALI: We are at similar purpose, from what I can tell, from what the gods have told us.

AIMEE: So I'll ask the Spider Queen: What will you do to her?

AABRIA: "Fy'ra Rai? Nothing. She has agreed to fight. She's agreed to stay. I have told you many lies in our time."

AIMEE: Yeah, you're a liar.

AABRIA: "Takes one to know one. I'm not lying now. There's nothing she wants more than to stay by your side. Opal wants a lot of things, and one of them is for you to leave and be safe."

AIMEE: I can't make that choice for you.

AABRIA: "I will not tear you from this purpose, but I spend a lot of time obscuring truth, and maybe it's worth it to try a little honesty."

(chuckling)

ANJALI: I have no purpose without someone to protect. It's who I am. I'm sorry if you want me to leave.

AIMEE: No. I couldn't protect someone, I think, I don't remember. I'd like to protect you. I was so young when I started and now I feel like I've aged 100 years. But I'll never say no to a sister.

ANJALI: And I will never leave another one.

AABRIA: "Then it's settled. She stays. The others are going. If I see them again, keep them away. You know as well as I do what's coming, It's worse than you think."

AIMEE: I have nothing else to lose.

AABRIA: "You're so young. Hopefully you will not learn the lesson too soon that that is not true. There's a whole world and it may not feel like yours, but it will be. It would be if it was gone. Perhaps, if we see the other side of this, I will tell you more of where we began."

AIMEE: If we see another side to this, I'm going to call you a cunt with my whole chest.

AABRIA: "Hey, I know what the fuck I am."

AIMEE: Good.

AABRIA: "I chose my champion well. You ready to go?"

AIMEE: I'm ready.

ANJALI: Wildmother--

AABRIA: "Ugh. Don't bring her into this call, please. She's so fucking-- She'll be like, 'I'm the smell of freesias in the wind,' or stupid shit. What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? You want her to sound like a duck or something to tell you it's going to be okay?"

ANJALI: I'll just say I am on my way.

AABRIA: "She knows, she's the babbling of every brook or whatever her fucking deal is. Oh my god, her and the Lawbearer, just-- So fucking-- She knows, she's watching."

ANJALI: Then yes, I am ready.

AABRIA: "Okay. Is she going to be in the call the whole time? I don't like it."

AIMEE: I don't know. I don't know, bitch, figure it out.

AABRIA: "All right, language." You feel yourself move out of this space. You stand together. Dariax has reached the bottom of the cliff.

MATT: Yeah, how much time is this conversation?

ROBBIE: (laughs)

AIMEE: Three long years.

(laughter)

AABRIA: 20 minutes later.

MATT: No, no, but legitimately, while this is happening, like is this in an instant or is it like, could I take Dariax's experiences while this conversation's happening?

AABRIA: What's more interesting to you? I'll give you a little, you could put your thumb on the scale, oh, fellow storyteller. Did you want this to happen over time? So like Dariax is just fully doing a whole background gag?

MATT: No, not a gag.

AABRIA: While two women stare into each other's eyes?

MATT: Not a gag, not in this moment. I think Dariax climbs down the mountain, looks up and watches Dorian just coasting off in one direction. He goes: We got to get Cyrus! He goes around the corner--

AIMEE: Aww!

MATT: -- and sees the corpse on the ground, sundered and bloodied, and he sees Morri charging the opposite direction. Confused, but starting to put the pieces together, he begins to back up in the direction that Dorian's going, looking over the hill as his line of sight begins to reach and can see the clutching of the crown and the apparition of some entity that he can't even really fathom, let alone focus on. All he hears in his head once more, the words from Opal, "Run." He just looks to where Dorian's going and charges after him.

AABRIA: Yeah. (sadly) And I think this is the end. The Crown Keepers, it started off so light. (through tears) Peepee spear on a roof in Emon.

ANJALI: And Glitter Shitters.

AABRIA: A Glitter Shitter. The ash hole, god, I owe you a lot, fuck, I could have killed more. I think you all feel the breaking of something as you go your separate ways. But not everything is forever, and not every story gets ground down to a bitter end. And most of you left standing, scattered across the world in many directions to start telling new stories. Morri, you leave with a spirit by your side, Fy'ra Rai and Opal head off into the darkness, following the footsteps of the Spider Queen. Dariax and Dorian, do you stay together? Do you follow for 24 long hours, Opal's final mercy, sending you away from what surely would have been a last stand?

ROBBIE: I think so, yeah.

MATT: Yeah.

AABRIA: You make your way south and east towards Zephrah. Find the Tempest. (desperately) Find the Tempest. Dariax, is there anything else, you tempest-tossed more than most, you follow whichever way the wind blows and your friend is the wind incarnate.

MATT: And we're walking to the place where the wind is home, right?

AABRIA: Yeah.

MATT: I don't know. Dariax has a lot to figure out. He just kind of lost most everything in a very short time and still hasn't seemed to lose anywhere near as much as his friend has. I think it's a very quiet walk, these 24 hours as the sun rises and sets again, starting to climb up the base mountain pillar walkways that lead towards the Ashari city, he feels scared to say anything.

AABRIA: You feel it, the moment that compulsion leaves, the lessening of magic, not an idea from your own head or heart. Continue.

MATT: I don't think he's going to wrestle with that betrayal yet.

AABRIA: Yeah.

MATT: Right now, he's more focused on Dorian's wellbeing, I think. Hopefully, whatever this Tempest is, maybe she can help him figure some stuff out, too.

AABRIA: Yeah. It takes a couple days. You make your way across the world, the roads are clear and anyone you see or meet, there's no talk of the Myriad, or the Clasp, or the Nameless Ones, or all of the things that you were scared of when a person and her agenda was the worst thing you could be scared of. They speak of Ludinus Da'leth, and the moon, and the gods, great doings and workings of magic, solstices. Undeterred, you push forward, you have a shred of divinity beside you. But the Observer neither directly threatened by the goings on here, nor particularly worried about themselves or their place in the world. You see that that deity, that spirit, that lesser god that you are connected to is content to sit and watch as you wander. Take that however you will. Eventually, you make your way to Zephrah. Do you go straight toward wherever you think the Tempest might be? Is there anything else you want to do or say or have or prepare?

ROBBIE: How well do you think you got to know my brother?

MATT: I mean, we bonded pretty quick because I don't think there's a lot either of us hold back.

ROBBIE: That's true. You know what's funny? I've known him my whole life. He's always been there. Now that he's gone, I can't imagine what he would want me to do. Does that make me a bad person?

MATT: No. I don't think you can be a bad person.

ROBBIE: Maybe. What do you want to do, Dariax?

MATT: Honestly, it's a question that I've never really asked myself and I think it's because I'm scared that I don't have an answer.

ROBBIE: There are no answers. I think for the first time I'm beginning to understand what I want.

MATT: What's that?

ROBBIE: Do you know what a trope is? A thematic element, you are a apprentice bard, are you not?

MATT: Okay, hold on, let me write this down.

ROBBIE: Mm-hmm, go on.

MATT: Trope.

ROBBIE: (giggles) It's one of my least favorite. Yeah, it is where my heart guides me. I want revenge, Dariax, badly. Do you think you can take revenge against the universe? Do you think you can fight back against gods and monsters?

MATT: Uh... may, may-- Do I have to answer now?

ROBBIE: No.

MATT: Okay, let me think on that. All right, gods and monsters.

ROBBIE: I take it all back. You know what we should do?

MATT: What?

ROBBIE: Let's put the question in a song. You ever done this before? It's a great exercise. You put the question in the verse and you put the answer in the chorus. The tune that first pops into your head is almost always right. Here, you'll need this. I'm going to take off my lute with my scimitar twined around it. And say: It's time to graduate from recorder to stringed instrument. It's a big jump, I know, but a long time ago you gave me a gift and I would like to return the favor. Would you accept?

MATT: Of course, do I have to get rid of the recorder?

(quiet giggling)

ERICA: Please say no.

ROBBIE: No.

MATT: Okay.

ROBBIE: Here you are.

MATT: Only because I just cleaned it like the past couple days. Wow!

ANJALI: Yeah, exactly!

(laughter)

MATT: I've watched you do this a lot so like--

ROBBIE: Okay.

MATT: It is awful.

(laughter)

AABRIA: Fuck you. Give me a performance check.

MATT: It's not as awful as you think!

ALL: Yeah!

ROBBIE: Let's go!

AABRIA: You had to roll good one time.

MATT: It starts awful, it starts awful.

ANJALI: It's pretty amazing, actually.

MATT: You're like, "Oh god, this was a mistake." But then like he picks it up.

AIMEE: Is it "Wonderwall?"

(laughter)

MATT: It's like the beginning of "Freebird."

AABRIA: Yeah! (laughs)

MATT: He's like, okay, okay, I guess I can pick up a little bit from keeping an eye out. All right, well, as an apprentice, I'll keep practicing.

ROBBIE: All right.

MATT: I don't know if I'm in a place right now to be fighting gods and monsters, but I can certainly be in a place to help those that are. Maybe at the very least, writing some new songs and legends about what they're doing.

ROBBIE: How close are we to any sort of civilization? Like a village?

AABRIA: You are at the edge of Zephrah.

ROBBIE: Oh, okay.

AABRIA: Yeah, a whole city of cool-ass druids.

ROBBIE: Can I see any kind of tavern anywhere that looks lively?

AABRIA: Yeah, I think at, there's a couple places. There is the more central gathering hub, more in a like public house, and on the outskirts with the edge of the wilderness, a little nicely constructed tent facing out into the woods, and you can hear even from here at the far end of this place, a little rowdier, a little louder, a little more energy.

ROBBIE: A few nights before all this horrible shit went down, you asshole. The three of us were--

AIMEE: Getting called all the words, dang.

AABRIA: When he's so clear, I love it.

ROBBIE: I'm saying it out of love. We were having drinks and my brother had left his cup behind, his favorite cup. One last thing I want to give to Dariax, and I say: I think you're good enough to make a few coin. Here, take this cup, yeah. Set it out, there's a group right over there. Look for the one that's not the most drunk, second to most.

MATT: Okay.

ROBBIE: Play a little tune and I want to watch from here. May I watch?

MATT: Yeah.

ROBBIE: But I can't be seen too close. I just want you to go and do the best you can do. Go, go, go.

MATT: I got you.

ROBBIE: Then I watch as he makes his way toward, you know, in his typical Dariax fashion, hurriedly toward the crowd, super excited, and I can't help but smile, and I have, just like real life, my fucking eyes are a little wet, and as I watch him go, my smile falls and Dorian's face turns stern (snaps) and he casts Invisibility.

(sighing)

AABRIA: Yeah.

ROBBIE: And I'll end my turn.

(laughs)

AABRIA: It's not about a turn. Where do you go from here?

ROBBIE: Straight to try to find the Tempest, yeah.

AABRIA: Well hidden. But you can hear a plucky tune on your lute.

ROBBIE: Don't do that!

MATT: It's not as good as last time.

AABRIA: It's not as good as last time. He does the thing of a little kid that turns around at the end of daycare to be like, "I'm doing--" He can't see you.

ERICA: Daddy's gone.

AABRIA: Mm.

AIMEE: He left us, he left us.

AABRIA: But even still, builds confidence, builds purpose, and the song begins to become something. You don't ask anyone because you are not seen, but you listen. It's like the breeze. You feel how it moves and flows between people and buildings. You listen for the words of the Tempest, and you move to the center of this place. It isn't very often that you go to a settlement with no sense of discovering your place in it, trying to make a mark, even in your most discreet and subtle, you flying under the radar the most you can, titties out, in blue and chiffon, you are always noticeable and noted, except for now. There is no understanding of this place or its people, just purpose and a mission. You overhear, "Oh, she's not here yet. She'll be back, she's on some important mission," and you see them looking towards a grove in the center of this place and you feel it before you see it. Magic. The magic of life, of growing wild things, and birdsong and sunlight, and storms and crisp, cold night as the Tempest makes her way through an old and gnarled tree, steps through, silhouetted against the golden light of her magic. You see the antlers of her headdress and you lose the shape of her to her massive mantle, the leaves and feathers flow out and away from her. Somehow, even though you are invisible, even though she probably doesn't know you're coming, it does not cause you anything but the knowledge and the understanding of the rightness of this moment that she turns to the empty spot in space where you are standing and nods. And that's where we're going to pull back from here. Okay, now it's time for me to be emotional. (laughter)

(groaning)

AABRIA: The Crown Keepers are my little loves. They're my little family, and I didn't kill nearly as many of you as I thought I would, and that's a skill issue.

(laughter)

AABRIA: So I'll be back, a little meaner in the future. But thank you for telling the story with me. I think it's time to go. Hey, Matt, you want to come back over?

MATT: Sure, let's do it.

AABRIA: Let's do it.

AIMEE: (groaning)

MATT: I'll give you a proper long hug in a moment. But I think, with that, let's go ahead and go to break. Thank you all. Tremendously.

ERICA: Thank you.

ROBBIE: Thank you.

ANJALI: Thank you.

MATT: We'll see you all here shortly.

Part II

MATT: And welcome back. So it is here, Dorian Storm, after emerging from the tree, the Voice of the Tempest that you've briefly encountered in your previous travels with Orym, before you and Fearne and him made your way to the continent of Marquet, to adventures that have thrown all manner of chaos, challenge, and sorrow into everyone's lives since. Still holding close to that pain, you watch as Keyleth approaches, acknowledging you, present, though magically cloaked, and says, "Dorian, it is good to see you."

ROBBIE: (snaps) I'll drop my invisibility.

MATT: "What brings you to Zephrah?"

ROBBIE: Wow. Being lost. Only waypoint on the map, I suppose. I-- I'm looking for guidance. I lost my group. I'm feeling as though the winds are sending me somewhere I don't understand and I need an anchor. I know it's not your duty, but I'd like to continue what we started, if I can.

MATT: "Well, in a way, it is my duty as a leader of my people and my people are and have always been but a collection of wayward souls that needed a home. So you found your way here. I wish I could say that my guidance in the moment here is ever-present. Many of us are needed many places all at once these days." As she looks at you, her soft presentation gives way to a very hard, stern look as she seems to read your soul in a glance and goes, "I gather the challenges in Exandria have left scars in you as of late as well."

ROBBIE: Yes. I have a brother. Had a brother that I didn't want to leave behind, but I have. I know this world is full of magic I don't understand. But you have resources. Do you not? I hate to beg a favor. I've never begged, but-- If I told you a spot in the wilderness, would your people be able to find it? I don't ask for miracles, but retrieve my brother's body?

MATT: "Hmm. You are a friend to us and have been a great friend to one of my most trusted protectors, one who has himself given much. I promise you, I will do this for you."

ROBBIE: Just make sure your people stay safe.

MATT: "Of course."

ROBBIE: I don't know where to go from here.

MATT: "And that's all right. You can stay here as long as you wish. Many of our warriors are fighting a grand fight far from here, and that is where much of my attention will be as well. But we have many wonderful sages and caretakers and philosophers and anyone that you wish to tell your troubles to."

ROBBIE: What about armorers?

MATT: "We have those as well. Are you sure you don't know where you're going?"

ROBBIE: Perhaps I don't know where, but I'm starting to believe I know why. I'd like to see Orym again, and Fearne.

MATT: "They're away at the moment, doing a very, very important mission. And I've-- I have never felt prouder. I'd know if something had happened to Orym. I know I'd feel it. So I take solace in knowing that he's still up there, or at least safe where he stands."

ROBBIE: I knew he would be.

MATT: "Mm-hmm. Well, I need to confer with a handful of folks before I continue my journey this early morning. Do you need lodging? Do you need to resupply? You look a bit haggard and like you've been on the road for a bit by the wornness of your boots and the tatters at your elbows, but--"

ROBBIE: Very much so. I've imposed enough, but if I may, can you house me?

MATT: "Of course."

ROBBIE: All right.

MATT: "Of course. You look weary. Come rest. I have rooms in my domain amongst the chambers. They're for friends and allies as they stay. If you wish to, gather what you can find. I'll have a few compatriots call forth what you think you may need and take whatever time you wish."

ROBBIE: Thank you.

MATT: "Of course."

ROBBIE: I think this sort of motherly, powerful sort of feminine energy of compassion is something that Dorian's longed for since leaving home. You can see the tension and the emotion and the anger sort of leave his body, even if just for a moment, as he feels at ease for the first time in a long time.

MATT: "Come," she walks a little bit ahead and as she steps, and you've encountered her for, you know, times passing through Zephrah. You've always kept a reverence, likely in these passings. But she was always Orym's charge, you know? I think this may be one of the few times that you've had any true one-on-one time with her where she was not distracted.

ROBBIE: Hmm.

MATT: There is a kindness there and there is almost a shared solace and grief that you can sense. As she steps with you, here is still night as it was, where she steps the winds pick up and swirl. The dust and leaves drift but a few feet before her, her cloak billowing ever so faintly like the weather itself likes to carry her to her next destination. She brings you towards the center of Zephrah, amongst the various domiciles and large tents. Elements of it almost remind you a little bit of your home, if more stationary, and allowed to grow into the rock as opposed to picking up when they needed to find a new path. That's welcoming in its own right. She brings you to the multi-level central establishment with its naturally grown and shaped balconies. At this early morning hour, quiet, you can hear the sound of the various crickets and evening creatures themselves settling into the end of their night's activities. It doesn't take long after some few introductions for a number of the various helpers and caretakers of these premises to start gathering you whatever materials you need and start prepping your chamber for a night down of rest. They can call for replacements for your torn and weathered clothing and they'll put in some orders for an armorer, should you need one in the morning. As Keyleth leaves you to your bed chambers, she heads upstairs, followed by other footsteps, and you can just barely hear the muffled sound of what looks like conversation, but not casual, serious, militant even. You can't pick up the words, but you've always been keen at picking up tone. For as kind and as warm as she's been to you since she's arrived, there is a darkness and a seriousness that just manages to barely creep through the thickness of the ceiling. It's about now that a clearer voice rings into your mind unexpectedly, here in the wee hours of the morning, as you hear Orym say, from the ether itself, "We're home. Can you hear me? Northeast of Bassuras. Can you get there? I'm struggling. Sorry. Can you get there? Fuck, I miss you."

ROBBIE: I haven't gotten anything from the sending stone in a long time, right?

MATT: Not in a number of days, not since, or weeks even, probably, since the messaging returned as of late. So it catches you off guard.

ROBBIE: Yeah, I've put it away.

MATT: You got one message from him not but a couple days ago.

ROBBIE: Okay.

MATT: It seems, but it felt crackly and only partially understood and heard. It didn't sound worried, but also it seemed to taper off into distraction.

ROBBIE: Mm. Yeah, I think normally Dorian would try to think of the most eloquent thing to say. He likes to make things of words and he's specific about their meaning and he can't think of a thing. But the only thing that's in his heart's just three words. It's just: I'll be there. And tries to send that back into the sending stone to return the message.

MATT: You send it back off as you sit there in quiet, just looking at the stone in your hands. Any semblance of exhaustion and rest that you were about to slip into fade and you're now more awake than you've been in days. So you sit there. The conversation above continues for the 20 or so minutes as you contemplate the stone passing through your fingers, thinking about what's happened. Aimless as you were, you're needed somewhere. As you hear the conversation close upstairs and the footsteps begin to descend, you hear the Voice of the Tempest come and knock on the door.

(knocks softly)

ROBBIE: Open it.

MATT: "Dorian, stay as long as you'd like. I have to be going. There's some business I need to attend to. But it's been great to see you."

ROBBIE: Thank you. Business? I don't mean to pry.

MATT: "How much do you know of the goings on between the Ruby Vanguard and the Moon of Ill Omen?"

ROBBIE: Stories, whispers in the town square. We've been in the wild for a long time, hunted and preoccupied. Why?

MATT: Her face grows stoic and hard. "The world is in great turmoil and I'm sure the lingering leylines that twist and pull in the sky have filled even the furthest farmers with dread. It all comes to the Hellcatch, where the god eater that sits in the core of that moon seeks to be released and devour the pantheon. All of the forces that can are gathering to prevent this from transpiring, an invasion that looms from entities that have long plotted from afar and beyond our imagination. That is where Orym and your friends have been, on Ruidus."

ROBBIE: Ruidus? The message, I-- He said he was on the moon. I'm such a fool. I thought it was a code or a place I didn't know. Ruidus, it's been lost from the sky.

MATT: "Not lost, but locked. And there it sits, unnaturally bound above the continent of Marquet, looming, and pulling, and tearing at the very fabric of Exandria's magic. All of nature sits still as the whole world holds its breath, as riots and chaos begin to mount and burn, faith fades. There is much happening. Where I walk, there is fire, and there is loss."

ROBBIE: I'm not afraid of loss anymore.

MATT: "And there is purpose."

ROBBIE: I want to go.

MATT: She doesn't hesitate, looking at your eyes. "Then come with me."

ROBBIE: Yeah, no hesitation on his part. He follows her.

MATT: She steps out as the Care Hands have come up and brought you the clothing you requested, the materials and supplies that you had brought with you, and also wanted to pull together in the short time they had before this transpired, you didn't get a full suite of what you could have spent days here for, but the nature of the now has called you in response to that message.

ROBBIE: Hmm.

MATT: Now she quietly steps away from you, you following in her wake. The wind still follows her every step, but it's colder. She steps towards a far street of the city, towards a bounding, beautiful cherry blossom tree that you've not seen with your own eyes at night in quite some time. As it climbs up, its colors now muted with moonlight of Catha casting across it in grays and whites. She steps up to it and runs her fingers along the branch. "We're here to save the world, I think, again, and I wish to save a friend."

ROBBIE: Well, what's the point in saving the world if there's no one there to write a song about it?

MATT: She smiles for the first time since you left. "Well. We're happy to have you for as long as you're willing to come. We need all the help we can get."

ROBBIE: Well, I would say to the ends of the earth, but it seems as if we're already there.

MATT: She turns to the side of this cherry blossom tree, and as she raises her hand up, you watch as the glow of pure, nature-based spiritual magic tears across the front of it and you watch as the crooked doorway glowing a faint greenish color opens. On the other side, you can just barely make out a quick flash of what looks like a military encampment. You can see the cusp of war wagons and fires crackling. She turns back to you. "Quickly." She steps through and you follow suit. As you do, you emerge from the other side of this tree from a much smaller leafless one, that sits jaggedly, climbing up about 15, 20 feet. A number of other trees spotted around this barren and shale-cracked landscape of gray, reddish dust. Even here in the evening light, you can immediately look upward and see the ominous, red glowing sight of Ruidus for the first time in so many weeks, like a burning coal of hate settled in place, as a singular thin thread of red light anchors it to the surface of Exandria. Looking upon it, you cannot help but feel the chill wash over you. But you also look around and see the hundreds of soldiers that are either up too late or up too early, that are walking patrols, bantering quietly, eating their first or last meal of the day. Even in the midst of this ominous light, there is an undertone of camaraderie and familiarity. You see armored and flagged figures of different colors and tabards and designs, a mix, a multitude of cultures Exandria over. Some you recognize, some you'd want to study more. But indeed, as Keyleth said, it looks like a number of figures from around the realm are gathering. For what? Who may know. You take this in for a little bit. It's just beyond the massive gates that hold the eastern side of the stronghold's perimeter walls, massive heavy walls of rock that have been sculpted out of the very ground itself up 25, 30 feet as you hear the gates shift open and a few calls down from below. You see seven figures come walking in. You have to blink for a moment, and you can see the shape of tall, thin, feminine form. You see the lavender hair of a familiar face. You see the multifaceted rocklike skin surfaces of a violence-prone figure of familiarity. You see a tiny, exhausted, crotchety looking elder gnome in the oddest little tracksuit.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

MATT: You see your friend, Fearne, and you see Orym, and you see the seventh figure, a squat, lumbering creature that is entirely unfamiliar to you. And no sign of the little metal creature of jovial voice, and upbeat persona that was ever there to lend an ear whether you wanted to or not. They all look up and see you as well. Bells Hells, if I can have you back to the table, please.

ROBBIE: (sighs)

(vocalizing)

ROBBIE: Hello, friends!

LAURA: Oh hi!

ROBBIE: I missed you!

LIAM: Full circle.

ROBBIE: Oh boy.

TALIESIN: So, how's things?

ROBBIE: I've been good.

TALIESIN: Ah, okay. You look good.

ROBBIE: Got a little squat buddy with you?

MARISHA: Yeah.

ROBBIE: Oh my goodness. Here we are.

LAURA: (excited squeak)

MATT: As the rest of you are still processing the grief and weight of your journey from the Moon of Ill Omen, step into the massive gates that guard this west side encampment. You look up to see a sight you weren't expecting, especially so fast after you reached out. There, not far from the billowing cloak and mantle of the Voice of the Tempest, you see Dorian Storm.

LIAM: Orym's eyes just kind of dart back and forth between the Tempest and Dorian, totally gobsmacked.

ROBBIE: I heard this party could use a humble bard!

(laughter)

LIAM: He starts running--

TALIESIN: Oh shit.

LIAM: -- and gets about 20 feet away and just goes (bouncing) and miniature tackles into a total hug.

MATT: (clattering)

ASHLEY: I start clopping over and get in on the hug and just (many kisses) kisses, kisses all over.

ROBBIE: Oh, that's very nice. Smells surprisingly good.

ASHLEY: That's a shocker. Hi!

ROBBIE: Hi, how are you?

LIAM: Are you here?

ROBBIE: Yes, I'm really here, hi.

MARISHA: What are you doing here?

LAURA: (relieved laugh)

MARISHA: Hi!

LAURA: You are a welcome sight!

ROBBIE: I've missed you all!

ASHLEY: What are you doing here?

TRAVIS: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Nothing is as it seems. Say something only Dorian would know.

ROBBIE: That's right.

TALIESIN: That's kind of pretty good right there.

ROBBIE: Chetney, I'm surprised of everyone here to see you alive.

TRAVIS: It's Dorian!

(laughter)

TRAVIS: You son of a bitch! I'll go up and I'll hug his knee.

ROBBIE: Oh, okay, yeah, that's strong on my thigh.

TRAVIS: Yeah, you know, it's like wiry.

ASHLEY: Wait, what are you doing here? How did you get here?

ROBBIE: Well, I got your message. Is the Tempest nearby us?

MATT: The Tempest is still maybe about 20 feet back, just watching this all transpire with a smile on her face.

ROBBIE: I take Orym and look him deep in the eyes and gently set him down. She brought me. I'm going to gesture back to Keyleth.

MATT: "Hi!"

MARISHA: Oh, it is quite a small Exandria, that is.

(chuckles)

ROBBIE: Oh, well, we knew each other and I didn't know where else else to go.

LIAM: How long have you both been here, Tempest?

MATT: "We just arrived, naught but a few moments back."

LAURA: What perfect timing.

MATT: "He seemed driven by the winds, as many of us are, and it seemed that maybe fate has some strength in store for us," as she glances in the direction of the Malleus Key. "Fate does work in strange ways, doesn't it?"

MARISHA: (stammering)

ROBBIE: My story's much shorter than yours. You asked where I've been and I'd be glad to tell you at some point, but from the looks of things, you are in it a bit deeper than I was. What's going on here?

LIAM: We learned a lot.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: Her stoicism cracks as much as she tries to hold it together and goes, "I am so glad you're back and alive, oh, wow, I was so nervous and I'm so proud. I was scared, but I believed you could do it. And I-- Oh, sorry."

ASHLEY: I put my hand out to her.

MATT: She takes your hand.

LAURA: We wouldn't be here-- FCG.

LIAM: It came at a cost.

MATT: "Right. As all things do in war."

ROBBIE: What happened to FCG?

MARISHA: They sacrificed themselves.

LIAM: Saved us.

MARISHA: For us, yeah.

ROBBIE: Oh, surely, he could be--

TALIESIN: No.

ROBBIE: I understand.

LAURA: But we wouldn't be here if they hadn't.

TRAVIS: You wouldn't believe what it's like up there. No offense, Evoroa, a whole new creatures and organisms and geography and--

LIAM: A whole new world.

TRAVIS: The inside of the moon. It's incredible.

LAURA: Yeah.

ROBBIE: The inside of the moon?

LAURA: Under the surface. There's so much to tell you, Keyleth, Voice.

MATT: "Keyleth is fine." She looks past you all and you can see other soldiers have not just noted the return, but also many are looking past you towards the unique creature that's accompanying you at the interior. What you see.

ROBBIE: What do I see?

MATT: You see a squat, humanoid creature with a rounded, broad set of shoulders. The head seems almost set within the shoulders. There may be a neck, but you can't tell. But with a cloak and hood that's pulled up over it. You see these muscular, long arms that almost touch the ground with squat legs and a smaller, secondary set of hands, like arms that curl up into an opening in the front of a chest shirt.

LIAM: Aliens!

MATT: The figure has dark eyes and almost a featureless nose. It's almost like a bump with just like some slits on it, a wider mouth that's pulled back. The eyes are bright with, you can't tell if it's fear or wonder, but you've never seen a creature like this before. It seems to be sticking close to the rest of this troop and just taking in with curiosity and fear as much as everyone else in the vicinity are taking them in. Keyleth raises a hand and goes, "Please be respectful, don't gawk, go amongst your business. We have much to discuss."

ROBBIE: I'm trying to feed it a something.

LAURA: I mean, actually, she is probably quite hungry.

MATT: (Evoroa) "If you got anything to eat, I'd really appreciate it."

ROBBIE: Yeah.

MARISHA: She's very intelligent.

MATT: "Hi."

ROBBIE: Oh!

MATT: "I haven't seen--"

ROBBIE: You say words!

LAURA: Oh, yes. Evoroa is a scientist and--

ROBBIE: Oh, you say lots of words and know lots of words!

MATT: "Indeed."

ROBBIE: Here, I still--

TRAVIS: Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!

ROBBIE: I still try to feed it like a pet.

(laughter)

ROBBIE: I got, it's just a ration, some rations.

LIAM: Not Reese's Pieces?

ROBBIE: Yeah, not Reese's Pieces.

MATT: So, as you--

ROBBIE: It's like some flatbread.

MATT: Some flatbread, as you pull it out and reach it, you see, she puts a hand up, and out from underneath the cloaked mantle, a smaller creature skitters out rapidly, leaps to your arm like a tiny monkey, grabs it from your hand and goes "Ah!" And runs back, jumps back under her arm and curls up underneath.

TRAVIS: That too.

ROBBIE: I see, I like her very much.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MARISHA: Keyleth, and Dorian, this is Evoroa.

ROBBIE: Evoroa.

MARISHA: We rescued her.

LAURA: She was working intimately with Ludinus.

MATT: "Indeed, as one of the numerous minds set towards one of the multitude of projects that the Imperium had set for us to develop alongside the Ruby Vanguard to work towards."

LAURA: That's the moon resistance.

ROBBIE: Moon resistance.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: There's a lot to unpack here, Tempest.

MATT: (Keyleth) "I can already imagine. Well, is there immediate danger? Did anything follow you? Is there anything that we should be currently looking to the east towards the Tishtan site for at the moment?"

LAURA: Nothing followed us out, as far as we're aware.

LIAM: Not at this moment, but I think the timetable is ramping up.

MARISHA: We were sort of a part of a mission where there were explosions, a lot of explosions, and it sort of pissed everyone off.

TRAVIS: The hive has been kicked.

MARISHA: Yes, literally.

MATT: "Very well. We'll make sure that we--"

TALIESIN: That's a good call.

MATT: "-- increase our patrols and keep an eye out there. You all look like you could use some rest."

TALIESIN: (joyless laugh)

MATT: "I won't dare pry at the moment for all the details, as I think you'll probably speak with a clearer mind after a bit of recovery, for a multitude of reasons. But when you do wake, I want to hear everything. I have to speak with a few figures as well and coordinate between some other encampments. So I'll get to my business while you all get to some rest."

LAURA: Were you able to find the secret entrance that we pointed you towards?

MATT: "Indeed. That was an unexpected boon, and I think might give us some other options when it comes to infiltrating Ruidus once we've, well, taken in everything you've hopefully learned."

LIAM: Did you use it?

MATT: "We've only sent a few figures to check into it, though we are still slowly figuring out how many individuals we could probably fit through there. It's a very tight spot, but we do have some very, very powerful Ashari out of Terrah I think that can definitely helped us make that a little more useful."

TRAVIS: Ooh, Terrah.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: Earth Ashari!

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: "Nevertheless." You can see it too. You're all exhausted, and you can see in her eyes, she likely probably hasn't slept in a day, two days. But she nods, motions for some of the higher guard to come and escort you to some of the nicer living tents, quarters for elite soldiers, guests. These are still military tents, but they're not poorly outfitted. As she walks along with and leads you to one of the large guest tents, it's a clustered net of beds and personal chests at the foot of each, some low-lit ever-burning candles that hang from chains held at different points inside with this low burning flicker of light within. It's nice, it's cozy, and it's far better than Ruidus has been to you in recent days. As you all step in, she goes, "I'm just so glad to see you here. And I'm sorry."

LAURA: Thank you.

LIAM: You're a sight for sore eyes, Tempest.

MATT: "So are you, Orym. So are you."

LIAM: Kaitiake.

MATT: "Kaitiake." She leans forward and takes your chin in her hand and goes, "Wasn't a doubt in my mind you could do this. Rest well. Rest the rest of heroes. You've earned it." She turns around and you watch as the cloak billows for a second and (magical transformation) her form shifts into that of a large hawk that flutters off into the evening sky.

ASHLEY: She's so cool.

LAURA: I mean, you can do that too, Fearne.

ASHLEY: My god, I know, but it's just, she has such good flare, when she does it.

TALIESIN: It really is.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: It's really, it's a whole thing.

TRAVIS: It's effortless.

ASHLEY: Yeah, it really is.

LAURA: Maybe you can work on your transition.

ASHLEY: The transition?

LAURA: Make it a little bit more--

ASHLEY: I think my transitions are what are kind of weird.

TRAVIS: You got to work on grace.

LAURA: Yeah, sometimes you look like a blob person.

ASHLEY: Sometimes I look like a blob, sometimes I fart, sometimes I let out some poos. I'm going to work on it.

TALIESIN: I must be fucked, I'm happy to see you.

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

TALIESIN: Clearly everything is wrong.

LAURA: So happy you're here, Dorian.

ROBBIE: I wish I came at a better time. It seems as if you've been through a rough road.

ASHLEY: No, it was the perfect time.

LAURA: No, because if you'd gave come earlier, you'd be dead too.

LAURA: Let's be real about it.

ROBBIE: Well, I think I would've done all right. Immediately dead is what you jump to?

LIAM: Were you just--

ROBBIE: I have missed you as well.

LIAM: Were you by Zephrah when I reached out?

ROBBIE: Yes. That's when your message came through, but only the one. It's a long story. My brother died.

(gasping)

ROBBIE: My two best friends became the champions of the Matron of Ravens and the Spider Queen.

ASHLEY: Wait--

LAURA: What?

ROBBIE: It's a long mess.

LAURA: How long ago was that, Dorian?

ROBBIE: Yesterday.

TRAVIS: Are you serious?

ROBBIE: It's all right. We all deal with grief in different ways.

LAURA: It's not all right.

ASHLEY: Is Opal okay?

ROBBIE: Yeah. Not really.

ASHLEY: What do you mean?

ROBBIE: I don't know. I'll be all right.

MARISHA: Seems like we've all been through a lot. You are underplaying it.

ROBBIE: Oh, no, no. Just-- What have you been up to?

ASHLEY: Just need a moment?

ROBBIE: Yes, a moment maybe.

ASHLEY: Okay.

ROBBIE: A rest. I haven't slept much.

ASHLEY: I'm going to grab a blanket off one of the beds and just wrap it around and just sit on the floor.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

ASHLEY: What a day.

LAURA: Yeah. This has been a doozy.

MARISHA: FCG, we lost them--

ROBBIE: How did they--

MARISHA: -- yesterday as well.

TRAVIS: We got ambushed, caught in the tunnels. I think that was going to be a picture wrap on all of us.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: FCG, you know, he's like something no one's ever seen and whatever powers him, he accessed it and--

(explosion)

ASHLEY: It was the only way we got out.

MARISHA: We thought we could take her. It was--

LIAM: She's pretty high level with the folks we're tangling with. It was the woman who led the attack on my home all those years ago.

ROBBIE: What's her name?

LAURA: Otohan.

LIAM: Otohan Thull.

MARISHA: But fuck her. She's--

LAURA: She's fucking dead.

MARISHA: She's dead now.

TRAVIS: We got her shit.

ROBBIE: I like this energy.

TALIESIN: She's a stain on the fucking wall.

TRAVIS: But man, Dorian, the stuff going on up there is truly otherworldly stuff that predates most history that we know about. I mean, it is a blank slate with this stuff. It's hard to wrap your head around and when you see it, it makes you wonder if we can do anything to change it. I have to admit, I've seen some stuff. This made me feel like I was as green as they come.

MARISHA: We've got some stuff. Actually, here. I got you something, a little souvenir from the moon.

ROBBIE: Immediately, Dorian starts to sweat.

MARISHA: (laughs) This one's not a dead thing, but I did bring back dead things. I can't wait to show you.

TALIESIN: There was a gift shop right beyond the murder tunnel.

ASHLEY: Yeah, you exit through the--

MARISHA: Yes.

ROBBIE: Always.

MARISHA: It's kind of true. I pull out the crystal Dancer carved--

LAURA: That's really beautiful.

MARISHA: -- from the red crystal from the moon.

ROBBIE: You've been carrying this in your backpack all the way from the moon?

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: "Backpack."

ROBBIE: Right. Got you.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

ROBBIE: It's beautiful. What does it look like?

MATT: It's a teal green glass colored dancing figure. In some ways it begins looking rough-hewn towards the base, but then it becomes this smooth, wonderful, organic shape. It's in mid-motion, just captured an instant. A pretty well-crafted piece of art out of material that you're unfamiliar with, something you would not expect to see recovered from the moon.

MARISHA: This crystal, we've also gathered a few weapons. It seems to have magic properties and also, as we recently learned, may be connected to Predathos.

ROBBIE: Would I know anything about the specific material?

MATT: No.

ROBBIE: No. It's a complete mystery.

MATT: Yeah, and even the name Predathos--

LAURA: It's moon glass.

MARISHA: It's moon glass.

TRAVIS: This is big shit. We're dropping a lot.

LAURA: Oh, yeah.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

LAURA: We fill you in on everything about Predathos.

ROBBIE: It almost feels like years of lore.

(laughter)

LAURA: There's this bad guy named Predathos. He wants to eat the gods.

ROBBIE: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: We're fighting him.

ROBBIE: Eat them? Like a little snack.

LAURA: Gobble them.

ROBBIE: Okay, Predathos--

LAURA: Like a big snack maybe.

ROBBIE: -- god eater.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

TALIESIN: Predathos is one of the titans, but he doesn't look-- They all look humanoid. He's the only one who's perfect.

ROBBIE: I remember the titans. Okay.

TRAVIS: Eternals.

LAURA: Predathos--

TALIESIN: Oh, the Eternals. Fuck me. Thank you.

LAURA: -- is trapped in the core of the moon, basically.

ROBBIE: So boo Predathos. We don't like him.

LAURA and LIAM: Boo Predathos.

ASHLEY and ROBBIE: Boo Predathos.

ASHLEY: Boo Predathos.

ROBBIE: Yay the gods?

LIAM: If all the gods-- Well, that depends on who you ask, but if the gods are--

MARISHA: It's been debated.

LIAM: -- Inky, Blinky, all the ghosts and Predathos is Pac-Man--

ROBBIE: Okay.

LIAM: -- from out in space.

ROBBIE: Pac-Man.

MARISHA: (laughs)

ROBBIE: What is this word you say?

LIAM: Maybe Ms. Pac-Man, I'm not sure.

ASHLEY: It's a guy who just like eats a lot of other little things.

TALIESIN: Have you not seen-- It's a classic stage show. I'm really--

ROBBIE: Ah, got it.

ASHLEY: Packs it in.

MARISHA: It's dwarven.

ASHLEY and LAURA: yeah.

ROBBIE: Okay. But all of this is very interesting.

MATT: Jonathan Pacman.

ROBBIE: Very, very interesting.

(laughter)

ROBBIE: What is your plan in all of this?

LAURA: We--

LIAM: (uncertain hum)

ROBBIE: That's not a good sound.

ASHLEY: No.

(laughter)

LIAM: Well, we had a plan. We were running recon on the moon.

LAURA: Keyleth sent us there because we're just a little, a little group.

ROBBIE: Okay.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Expendable.

LAURA: A sneaky little group.

MARISHA: (laughs)

ROBBIE: Did you sneak a good sneak?

LAURA: No.

TALIESIN: No. (laughs)

TRAVIS: Actually, for the most part, we really didn't do too bad.

MARISHA: We did all right.

TRAVIS: We could've gotten dumped out there.

LAURA: We learned a lot.

TRAVIS: We learned a lot. We came back with stuff. We know about the hive mind. We know about the five, Imogen's mom is crazy!

MARISHA: Oh, I brought this back! I pull out the Juggernaut finger.

LAURA: Now we're talking dead things.

MATT: Yes, there's a massive--

MARISHA: It's a severed finger.

MATT: -- severed--

ROBBIE: Tradesies.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: -- red-fleshed finger.

ROBBIE: Oh, yes. I see.

TRAVIS: If you eat from it, it'll give you invulnerability for 10 seconds.

ROBBIE: You are lying, obviously.

TRAVIS: Goddamn it.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Oh! Oh! I got this little guy. I pull out the little alien fetus in a jar.

ROBBIE: This is horrible!

(laughter)

LAURA: I like that Dorian's just holding it.

(laughter)

LAURA: You don't have to hold it all.

LIAM: It's Steve Martin in "The Jerk."

MARISHA: I want these back. Those aren't for--

ROBBIE: You want them back?

MARISHA: These aren't for you.

ROBBIE: Wait, but the dancer is a gift?

MARISHA: The dancer is a gift.

ROBBIE: I'm definitely fumbling all of this.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Don't drop it. I'll take the dead things.

ASHLEY: But the glass, rare rare.

LIAM: Yeah, that blue glass--

MARISHA: You keep the dancer.

LIAM: You know when you go to Carmel and there's driftwood art everywhere?

ALL: (laughing in agreement)

LIAM: It's the same way.

MATT: Kind of, yeah.

(laughter)

ROBBIE: So this is low rent.

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: That's really good.

LAURA: But you can't get it here.

ROBBIE: Local artisan. I understand. I always support them, for certain.

ASHLEY: Yes.

ROBBIE: All right. What to do with this?

TALIESIN and LIAM: (laugh)

LAURA: Maybe you can leave it--

ROBBIE: I'll just look at it.

LAURA: -- for some child, set it adrift.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: Like other pieces of fine art.

ROBBIE: It was one bit.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: It's really good to see you. It feels good to laugh.

TALIESIN: Yes.

ROBBIE: It does. It does.

TRAVIS: We're going to have a score to settle, though. So if you stick with us, just fair warning, we're coming for blood.

ROBBIE: Oh.

LAURA: Are you back, Dorian? Are you going to stay with us?

ROBBIE: If you'll have me.

LAURA: Gladly. I speak for myself, I guess. But gladly.

MARISHA: We missed you a lot. We talked about you often.

ROBBIE: That's very nice, but-- I'm just glad for the invitation, and I'll do my best! I've been learning so many new tricks, so many new songs. I promise I will kick ass, but I'll also do it in a new stylish way you've never seen before. Yes, the road's been long and hard, but I--

LAURA: Is it as stylish as the sheer shirt you're wearing?

ROBBIE: Oh, well, this is just the start of the ensemble. Give me a few moments.

ASHLEY: It's great, it's great, it's great.

ROBBIE: I've got some things in my backpack. I'm going to put them together, and if we've got the evening--

TRAVIS: It's always something to put together.

ROBBIE: Yeah, you're going to see.

ASHLEY: You're always so put together.

TALIESIN: Are you going to play ska? Because this is how ska starts.

(laughter)

LIAM: How ska starts or how it started?

TALIESIN: How it-- Both. This is how an infestation happens.

ROBBIE: Are you saying you want to learn a woodwind instrument, is that what you want?

TALIESIN: I've got a brand new thing--

LIAM: A galaxy long, long ago? Is that where ska came from?

(laughter)

ROBBIE: Baritone.

TALIESIN: It's a musical virus, and it's infecting-- Yeah.

ROBBIE: Trumpet.

(laughter)

ROBBIE: Tenor sax.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

MATT: ♪ (ska beat) ♪

TRAVIS: (buzzes lips)

ASHLEY: Wait, wait.

LAURA: What are you pulling out? What are you talking about?

TALIESIN: This is where--

ROBBIE: What?

LAURA: You said you had a lot of other shit in your bag.

ROBBIE: Oh, yes. I think at this point, since we had no time where we were, I think Dorian started to redress and put his new clothing on, but not really. He's not there just--

LAURA: So you're half-naked?

ROBBIE: Sort of. Yeah, yeah. It was like he got--

LAURA: I'm trying to get a visual.

ROBBIE: He only has the shirt on now. He's got a sack full of shit that was the supplies that he copped from the Tempest squad.

LAURA: Oh, nice.

ROBBIE: When he has a quiet moment, his plan is to put it together and level up, if you will.

LAURA and MATT: (laugh)

MARISHA: (laughs)

ROBBIE: If you'll allow it.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Well, I have a question.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Because now that-- You probably don't want to talk about this right now. But now that your brother is gone--

ROBBIE: Mm. Mm-hmm?

ASHLEY: What does that mean for you?

ROBBIE: Well. (sighs) That's a larger question than you may think. I asked Keyleth's people to potentially retrieve his body.

LIAM: Wait. Did he just pass?

LAURA: Yesterday.

MARISHA: He said yesterday.

LIAM: Dorian.

ROBBIE: What?

LIAM: I'm so sorry.

ROBBIE: Me too.

MARISHA: It was in battle?

ROBBIE: If you can call it that. He did his best. I never thought there was real evil in the world. Not real evil. I think there are bad people who do bad things, but what we've seen these last days is irredeemable. I think for the first time in my life, I'm a bit angry.

ASHLEY: Oh.

LIAM: So she wasn't able to get rid of it.

ROBBIE: That's true. (laughs) Another failure, so they say.

MARISHA: No. An opportunity.

ROBBIE: For what?

MARISHA: Redemption.

ROBBIE: Hmm. Right now, I'd prefer revenge.

MARISHA: I like that.

ROBBIE: I knew you would.

MARISHA: Mm.

ROBBIE: Give it some more time. I'll answer your question.

MARISHA: You said one of your friends went off with the Matron, and the other for a Spider Queen?

ROBBIE: Opal. I'm sorry. We tried. I can't be certain, but whatever forces are enacting on this world go deeper than we imagined.

LIAM: And Fy'ra Rai and Dariax?

ROBBIE: Fy'ra Rai stayed with Opal.

ASHLEY: Oh.

ROBBIE: Dariax, (laughs) well, he's all right.

MARISHA: You know, it's so odd. But we-- We met someone--

TALIESIN: Oh.

MARISHA: -- in our travels.

TALIESIN: My god.

MARISHA: Speaking of a small Exandria.

TALIESIN: (laughs)

ROBBIE: Really?

MARISHA: Yes.

ROBBIE: Well, whom?

MARISHA: Her name was Deni$e.

ROBBIE: Deni$e!

LAURA: Oh!

MARISHA: She knew Dariax!

ROBBIE: Really?

MARISHA: Yes.

TALIESIN: I miss Deni$e.

ROBBIE: Oh.

MARISHA: She was trying to get back to him. Of course, I've never met this Dariax, but you know.

ASHLEY: He was wonderful.

LIAM: Barrel of sunshine.

ASHLEY: He is wonderful. Yeah.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

LIAM: She was a real firecracker.

TALIESIN: Apparently they had some sort of thing, if I recall.

ROBBIE: A romantic thing?

TALIESIN: Yeah, that was the vibe.

MATT: You begin to recall a handful of stories that Dariax had mentioned in passing of a particular woman that taught him that you can be both attracted and deeply afraid of a person.

ROBBIE: Wait.

MATT and TALIESIN: (laugh)

ROBBIE: Was this the woman that, was she fond of a deep red lipstick?

TALIESIN: Oh, yeah.

ASHLEY: I think so. I remember him talking--

ROBBIE: Did she have any tattoos, or--?

MARISHA: Yes!

ASHLEY: I didn't get to meet her.

TALIESIN: Tattoos had her.

ROBBIE: Yes, yes! I've heard these stories.

LIAM: All the tattoos.

MARISHA: Yes.

ASHLEY: Yes.

ROBBIE: Yeah, he was very frightened of her.

MARISHA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Wow, she sounds like an amazing woman.

TALIESIN: She was great.

ROBBIE: Hmm.

MARISHA: She was fantastic.

ASHLEY: Just to incite fear in her man.

MARISHA: Yes. (laughs)

ASHLEY: Wow.

TRAVIS: Sounds spicy.

ROBBIE: What's that, then?

TALIESIN: The plants themselves tremble.

ASHLEY: Man.

MARISHA: She was a force to be reckoned with. I hope she finds him. Maybe now if Dariax is--

LIAM: She'd keep him safe.

MARISHA: -- on his own. Yes! Maybe they'll find each other.

LIAM: We didn't get a lot of time with her, but it was--

TALIESIN: It was nice.

LIAM: -- impactful.

ROBBIE: (pleasant laugh) Well.

ASHLEY: So she-- Opal is--?

ROBBIE: Alive. Corrupted.

ASHLEY: (heavy-hearted sigh)

ROBBIE: I feel as though Fy'ra Rai was walking down the same path.

ASHLEY: Well, maybe they'll be safe together.

ROBBIE: If they are, we are to be concerned. As I said, it's not limited to the moon or even this continent. The gods are frightened of something, and I can only assume it's this--

LAURA: Predathos.

ROBBIE: Predathos? With a O, with a ah? O?

LAURA: Ah-thos.

ROBBIE: Predathos.

LAURA: Predathos.

LIAM: Like getting in the bath.

ROBBIE: Bath, bath, Predathos. The medial A.

LAURA: With an O.

LIAM: Mm-hmm.

ROBBIE: I'm well-studied.

LIAM: There's the theater kid.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Everything's coming out of the woodwork, huh?

(laughter)

ROBBIE: Chetney, how have you been? You've just been sort of giving me the summary. How's life for you?

TRAVIS: Stellar. I came across an old flame who'd been dead like a hundred years.

MARISHA: Oh, yes.

TRAVIS: 200 years? Fuck, what is time? But hooked up again. It was great.

ROBBIE: After dead? She'd been--

ASHLEY: She was alive again.

TRAVIS: Came back.

ROBBIE: She was alive again? All right, just making sure.

ASHLEY: She was alive.

TRAVIS: Gods are throwing out favors for your boy, Chetney Pock O'Pea!

LAURA: Yes.

TRAVIS: Went to the moon. Survived.

LAURA: He died on the moon.

ROBBIE: You died on the moon?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Practically.

ROBBIE: And came back?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Kind of.

TRAVIS: FCG.

MARISHA: It was grim, to be fair.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MARISHA: For a lot of us.

TRAVIS: We got our asses handed to us. It feels like all the rules are off. Magic first, gods are pissed. Taking our friends. I don't know. I'm just trying to make sure that I can even the score a little before I bite it. It was a pretty good spot I had picked out up there, I'm just saying, though.

ROBBIE: A spot for what?

TRAVIS: You know, for the, for the end.

ROBBIE: For the-- Whose end?

TRAVIS: Well, I mean not that I wanted to go or anything, but I mean, it was a pretty, the moon's pretty cool.

MARISHA: It is, yes.

TRAVIS: Especially if it's going to disappear soon and start eating the rest of the world.

MARISHA: Mm.

LIAM: There's whole civilizations up there. As many different folk as there are here on Exandria, and there's one entire city where the beings who run the place are in league with the Vanguard. But then there's a whole other people who are trying to tear it all down.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

LAURA: The Vanguard--

(laughter)

MARISHA: That's basically--

MATT: Yep.

MATT: Campaign three, right there.

LAURA: Don't you worry, we'll fill you in.

ROBBIE: Sure, sure, maybe--

LIAM: No, no, give me 10 minutes.

ROBBIE: No, no, no, we can--

TRAVIS: We should get a drink.

ROBBIE: We'll talk about extending our prose--

TALIESIN: We should get a fucking drink.

ASHLEY: Want to get a drink?

ROBBIE: Storytelling--

TRAVIS: A drink and we can toast.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a great idea.

TALIESIN: Do we need a drink?

MARISHA and LAURA: Yes.

TRAVIS: We do need a drink.

TALIESIN: I'm going to go find a fucking drink. I'm going to go find a bottle--

MATT: Mm-hmm.

TALIESIN: -- of whatever the fuck is around, and I will throw away the round to get it.

MATT: It doesn't take you much. I mean, people are aware of what, where you, of who you are and what you've done. To return from that--

ASHLEY: Get all of it.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm going to get--

MARISHA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: More than three.

MATT: The first soldier you come across is like, "Y-yes, sir?"

TALIESIN: Liquor. Good, bad, don't care.

MATT: "Y-Y-Yes, sir, right away, sir!"

LAURA: Barely know her.

TALIESIN: Is Evoroa around also, or has--

LAURA: Oh, shit.

MATT: Evoroa has been taken alongside the Tempest.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: You go to ask, and you can see in a tent just aside from where you are, there's three Ashari guardians to the side. Just looking past, you could see Keyleth is crouched down and having a conversation with Evoroa.

TALIESIN: I can't do this drunk. Fuck. I'm going to walk in and say: Excuse me, let me in. So I'm just going to barrel to her.

MATT: Okay.

MATT: (Keyleth) "Ashton, hi."

TALIESIN: Hi. I'm going to-- Yeah, hi. I'm just going to turn to Evoroa, I'm going to be really rude. I was kind of shitty back there. I don't like it. I put a lot of my shit on you. This isn't math. You don't, you don't-- I know you don't trade people for people, and I'm sorry. And I wasn't, that wasn't okay. And I don't feel good about it. And I'm sorry. Just do good. Just do good. That wasn't-- Sorry.

MATT: (Evoroa) "Apology accepted. I appreciate your--"

TALIESIN: I'm going to go get drunk now. Carry on. Shit. And, yeah.

MATT: Keyleth kind of looks. "All right."

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: "You met Ashton," as you walk away.

TALIESIN: Fucking--

(laughter)

MATT: As you leave the tent, you can see the soldier's already returned with three bottles of wine under his arm.

TALIESIN: Yep, thank you. Yep, that'll do.

MATT: "And--" Pulls up a bottle of a brackish brown liquid that's smaller with a heavy cork on it and hands it over.

TALIESIN: Thank you. (laughs) Oh yes, thank you.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

TALIESIN: I am, yeah. What am I going to do with all these limes?

(laughter)

MATT: You all hear the welcome clattering of filled glass into the chamber.

TALIESIN: I don't have a lot of feeling in my right arm, so I don't actually know how much I'm-- Thank you.

ASHLEY: Let me help you.

TALIESIN: Okay.

TRAVIS: Limes of the desert.

MARISHA: Oh my gosh, that's right! (gasps) The two of you have to tell him about sucking in scales of titans!

ASHLEY: Oh!

TALIESIN: I did something really stupid and got this arm.

TRAVIS: We will. Drinks first.

TALIESIN: But now I can turn into--

MARISHA: Drinks first!

TALIESIN: Yes.

MATT: (laughs) As they're saying this and they're pouring the drinks, you notice in Ashton, his right arm does not match the rest of his body. It is thicker, more broken, like obsidian and volcanic rock sort of a feel.

ROBBIE: Okay.

MATT: Jagged up along the shoulder with little--

TALIESIN: Something went wrong, clearly. Yeah.

TRAVIS: Or right.

ASHLEY: Cheers.

ROBBIE: Cheers. Are you sure you're all all right?

TALIESIN: Oh, not even a little!

LAURA: No!

ASHLEY: No.

TRAVIS: Not really. To the reunion of old friends.

TALIESIN: To not being all right.

ASHLEY: To not being all right.

ALL: (sadly) Cheers.

ASHLEY: Hey, hey!

MARISHA: To reunions and damage.

ASHLEY: And to Letters.

TRAVIS: Letters.

TALIESIN: To Letters.

TRAVIS: And your brother.

MARISHA: Cheers.

ASHLEY: And to Cyrus.

LAURA: And Cyrus.

MARISHA: Cyrus.

TALIESIN: And the friends we hope to see again.

ASHLEY: Mm.

TALIESIN: Another.

MATT: As you drink down your wine, your liquor, taking in the flavor and reminiscing on those you've lost, those you've found. In the midst of all this fear and chaos, the unexpected and necessary grounding that moments like these provide, you pull away from the dull glow of the tent here, in the mid-morning darkness over the Hellcatch Valley, ever warmed by the distant dark red glow of the ominous moon. And that's where we're going to finish the night's episode.

(pleasant groaning)

TRAVIS: Robbie!

TALIESIN: Welcome back, boy!

(exclaiming)

MATT: We're so happy to have you back.

LAURA: So excited!

MARISHA: Ah!

TRAVIS: It's good to have you back.

ASHLEY: Yay!

ROBBIE: (goofy) I'm glad to be here.

LAURA and MATT: (laugh)

TALIESIN: All this trauma we're going to get to unfold.

ASHLEY: Look at all of the trauma--

ROBBIE: All aboard!

ASHLEY: -- at the table.

ROBBIE: Woo!

MATT: Yeah, man. I know the intent was to bring you back later in the campaign. I didn't realize it would be under such traumatic circumstances for everybody involved.

ROBBIE: It's okay.

LAURA: It's fine. It's all good.

ASHLEY: Woof.

ROBBIE: It's the only way to get through this, together.

ASHLEY: Hell yeah.

MATT: (sighs)

TRAVIS: That hat, though.

MATT: Anyway. Happy to have you back, bud.

ROBBIE: Thank you.

TALIESIN: So much.

MATT: Love you all.

TRAVIS: Love you, Mattie.

TALIESIN: Love you, Matt!

ROBBIE: Love you!

ASHLEY: Love you, Mattie!

MATT: Let's go ahead and pick this up next week as the rest of the troop fills you in likely between episodes so we don't have to have an hour of you getting you up to speed. We'll send you everything.

LIAM: First, there was the dinosaurs.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: There's something happening in my pants!

(laughter)

MARISHA: Oh, god.

TRAVIS: This one itches!

(laughter)

(exclaiming)

MATT: Thank you all so much for joining us. We love you very much, and is it Thursday yet? Good night.