Talk:Kryn Dynasty

Sweeping Updates to Kryn Dynasty Page

Hello! As promised, a list of starting points for edits:

Most of the descriptions regarding the artificial darkness, while not all inherently incorrect, should likely be updated—it's confirmed that Rosohna is under the effects of the Nightfall Pearl, as are the garrisons that the Dynasty held during the war, but to my knowledge neither Asarius nor Bazzoxan are confirmed to be under the same effect. (They might be, but I don't think there's a concrete source suggesting that the same effect is in place in either city.) Most of those comments are cited from Yasha's description, which were exaggerated, per Ashley's comment on Talks.

On that note, anything that is cited to Yasha (as well as the Cobalt Soul) from "Whispers of War" probably needs to be at least sourced differently if it's not outright incorrect, as there's obviously plenty of updated information that clarifies matters. The Description section should probably be entirely rewritten, and the summary may need the same treatment as it is largely (i.e., the phrase "dominates the northern reaches of Xhorhas" is a fun bit of editorializing that should probably just be burned in a housefire, you know, if you've got a wizard on speed dial).

The "Notable People" section is pretty rough, and some of the pieces of information there seem like bizarre choices; I'm not sure why Essek not being consecuted is more relevant than, say, being a closet heretic, and it seems more relevant that Leylas was the first follower of the Luxon among the drow than that she remembers the Calamity.

The "Politics" section is unsourced; the line about dens adopting members into their ranks should probably be altered and expanded beyond "indicating a familial structure of some sort," especially given Den numbers do impact political standing, which feels more relevant. In general, there's plenty to say on the subject of the Dens under the banner of Politics beyond what's listed here.

The "Public Offices and Titles" section may wish to be separated into titles that seem to be tied only to one person versus titles that span multiple positions, though some of those are clearer than others, so that may not work in practice.

This is already marked as citation needed, but under the Aurora Watch description: "The Aurora Watch seems to consist mostly of well-armed, well-equipped, and well-trained drow. Allied and/or subject peoples of the orcish, goblinoid, gnoll and other communities seem to provide many additional supplemental forces." Per various members of the Watch in Bazzoxan named in CotN, I don't believe this distinction is accurate, and implies that racial communities are more segregated in the Dynasty than they're suggested to be in EGtW. There are some distinctions of course, but the dens alone certainly aren't uniform in their racial makeup.

(However, it may be worth mentioning more clearly elsewhere that most citizens with any titles or distinction, politically or militarily, are a member of a den, thought not always—Waccoh is at least not confirmed to be in any Den, while every other individual listed as a notable person in EGtW is either in a den or mentioned as consecuted. I believe this is specified at some point on-stream, though I'm not sure by whom and it may also be cited in the setting guide.)

The pieces of information in the first paragraph of the "Religion" section are either poorly-informed Cobalt Soul editorializing or flat-out erroneous. The Cobalt Soul commentary may be fine to remain on the page in the Trivia section, but I don't believe that it should remain where it is, particularly as the first comments on the matter. Ditto for the first sentence of the "Culture" section, which is sourced from Yasha's exaggerated description.

The "Dunamancy" section should be updated—it's not exclusive to war mages, or even mages at all, which is relevant to the Dynasty's military, theocratic, and academic workings.

Most of the "History" section is fine, but it cuts off at episode 99, and given that it describes the origins of the war and the beacon theft, it may want for commentary on, you know, who actually caused that problem, given it was a fairly high-ranking member of the court. It may also want more description on the activities of the Vurmas Outpost through the end of the campaign, but otherwise is probably fine, since the Nein never return there after the peace treaty.

This is everything I've caught from a quick run-through, though I of course cannot promise it's exhaustive.

98.59.250.120 22:19, January 11, 2023 (UTC) Megs

You seem to have a lot to say about it, if you have the citations and time on hand, by all means you can start editing the article yourself! OccidentalAvian (talk) 22:57, January 11, 2023 (UTC)

To clarify - I asked someone who I knew knows a lot about the Kryn Dynasty to take a look since I realized the shape the page was in while working on the plagiarized portion. I told them they could leave their feedback on the talk page if they didn't have time to do the edits. I'll get to this soon, or if another editor does, this is a good starting point! Untropicalisland (talk) 00:08, January 12, 2023 (UTC)

Good to know, apologies if my reply came off as standoffish! OccidentalAvian (talk) 00:46, January 12, 2023 (UTC)