Transcript:The Deceiver's Stand

Pre-show
MATT: Welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of nerdy-ass voice actors and awesome writing guest play Dungeons and Dragons. Before we get into the chaos for tonight's episode, let's go ahead and knock through our announcements. First and foremost, tonight's episode is brought to you by Magic Puzzle Quest.

(all cheer)

SAM: Marvel Puzzle Quest!

MATT: It was written "Magic" on here. Marvel Puzzle Quest.

SAM: Mazel tov Puzzle Quest.

MATT: Yay! Marvel Puzzle Quest, our sponsor for tonight. Sam, you had a few words?

SAM: Marvel Puzzle Quest is available now on Apple and Android devices. The latest update adds Riri Williams, a.k.a. Ironheart. You can check it out at bit.ly/criticalmpq-- that'll be posted all over the place, but I got a chance to play this game, and let me just tell you, I'm a pretty good gamer. I just loved being able to play this game through. I tried it on a PS4, I tried it on a PS3, I tried it on Xbox 360, because I'm a 1337 gamer. I tried it on Steam Engine, because that's how you get games, and it was amazing. You can play as all your favorite Marvel characters, like the Avengers. The Avengers include characters like Elrond Man, Nick Furry, Red White and Blue Shield Guy, the Hulch, and there's other characters like Lord Star, Dice Man, Carnage, Aunt Man, Professor Triple X, and the Medical Team; that's what I call these characters called Dr. Doom, Dr. Strange, and Dr. Octopus; they're all medical doctors and they all fight for good. There's Kamala Chaka Khan, there's Juggs or Not--

(all laugh)

SAM: You can play as the Human Porch, he just relaxes. Nic Cage. One of my favorite X-Men is Jennifer Grey, from Dirty Dancing. There's Rocket and Poot and everybody's favorite Canadian tough-guy, Walford Rains. Snicket! Yeah. And you solve puzzles and it's really addictive.

MATT: Thank you, Sam.

TRAVIS: Oh my god. Jugs or Not.

MARISHA: We're like the only show that a sponsor's going to let us get away with botching their product.

SAM: That's the names! You haven't played like I have. That's the names of the characters, I'm pretty sure.

PATRICK: I love the team of Professor Triple X and Dr. Strange.

SAM: They all have PhDs. It makes sense.

TALIESIN: They're pronounced Centennials, actually.

MARISHA: I don't like millennials. I'm a Centennial.

MATT: Thank you very much, not Magic, but Marvel Puzzle Quest, for being our awesome sponsor tonight. Check out their stuff. All right, also, Marisha, do you want to talk a bit about the promo code?

MARISHA: If you watched Talks Machina this week on Tuesday night, you saw that we gave away a promo code, hashtag-- no, no hashtags. It's just a code. Just the code "TALKS." Like if you're talking, like I'm doing right now. "TALKS" as in Talks Machina, and that gives you 30 days free trial on Alpha, so if you're a good gamer like Sam is--

SAM: I'm 1337.

MARISHA: You know what those things stack, so you can use your free subscription from Amazon Prime, and then use another 30 days, and then it's only 30 more days before your checks expire and then they're not good anymore.

SAM: Is this like a Columbia House thing where you keep doing a new subscription?

LIAM: You're dating us.

TALIESIN: I think our audience gets the joke. The camera's laughing.

MARISHA: Anyway, yes. Promo code "TALKS."

PATRICK: Columbia House is where the X-Men used to live. Before it was the mansion, it was Columbia House.

MARISHA: Oh! You should also go watch Talks Machina, too.

MATT: It's our crazy little aftershow. We have silly discussions, answer community questions, and generally just hang out and make fools of ourselves for your entertainment.

MARISHA: It's good fun.

LAURA: Along with Brian W. Foster!

MATT: Laura, Travis, me, and Marisha once again will be guests at Anime Milwaukee next month. We'll be up there Friday through Sunday doing panels, signings, all kinds of chaos. Come see us, come say hi. Bring things we'll sign them. Bring questions and we'll answer them. Bring handshakes and we'll touch them.

LAURA: What are those dates again?

TRAVIS: February 17th through the 19th.

MATT: February 17th through the 19th. Yes.

TRAVIS: Or whatever the dates say.

MATT: Sorry, I'm going off what I have. And merchandise, Laura.

LAURA: Hey, guess what?

MATT AND TRAVIS: What?

LAURA: There's some merchandise!

(all cheer)

LIAM: Can you buy it?

LAURA: You can buy it in the shop on Geek and Sundry. There's nothing new this week, but there's all the stuff that I talked about last week, like socks and hoodies and hats and bracelets and pens--

SAM: Wait, we have socks now?

LAURA: Oh, you missed it!

SAM: Socks Machina?

LAURA: Socks Machina!

MARISHA: So we have Critical Role socks, which apparently they've done really good, we've already sold half, and people are already super excited for us to have character-driven socks.

TALIESIN: They're really comfy, but then I took them off and my cats found them and now they will not give them back.

MATT: Don't give them to your cats.

TALIESIN: No, this is really true, they've taken them and they're not giving them back.

MATT: For context, Socks Machina was a joke of ours over a year ago, and now it's happening.

SAM: It sounds pretty stupid.

TRAVIS: They're really nice, man.

MARISHA: We came up with Socks Machina at the same time that we came up with Lox Machina, which is our branded smoked salmon.

LAURA: That's someday soon, guys. I'm hoping for that in the store.

TRAVIS: There'll be Grog socks with just tons of holes in them.

MATT: Perfect.

TRAVIS: Made by me.

LAURA: Gross, really stinky. No, they should look like barbarian boots, fur-lined boots since you're--

TRAVIS: Not as cool.

MARISHA: Oh, with little fur on top?

TRAVIS: They're going to smell like balsamic vinaigrette or something.

SAM: Can mine have garter belts?

LAURA: If you want.

SAM: Thank you.

MATT: All righty. And last but not least, we have International Tabletop Day coming up April 29th, where we here are going to be celebrating everything tabletop. We'll have more announcements as the week gets closer and closer to it, but we're excited for it. A bunch of us, if not all of us, are going to be involved in some way or another, and just keep an eye out for announcements as they roll out. So mark it on your calendar. April 29th.

TRAVIS: April 29th.

MATT: I think that's it, if anyone has anything else they want to announce?

LIAM: Oh, I got a quick one. Taliesin and I were playing Ubisoft's game For Honor this morning for Nerdist and Geek and Sundry.

TALIESIN: And it was fun!

LIAM: It was fun.

TALIESIN: It was nuts.

LIAM: There'll be more of it tomorrow. We got a couple of warriors in there. I'm playing the knight. The chivalrous knight in that game.

TRAVIS: I play a viking.

TALIESIN: No, it's good fun. I'm back in tomorrow morning. Actually, you can see me tomorrow morning at 9AM Pacific Time.

LIAM: You got a major renfaire boner playing that game today.

TALIESIN: It's hot. It's pretty hot. It's great. I want to collect all the things and basically use it as a play on the little Renaissance-era barbie doll. And just paint him and put things on and change armors.

TRAVIS: Okay, all right, okay. Jeez.

MATT: PVP Renfaire adventure. For Honor. That's awesome, cool. Anything else? All right. Then let's go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role.

[INTRO]

Part I
MATT: Welcome back, everyone. So, picking up where we left off from my esteemed panel of extremely mature--

TRAVIS: No one can hear it, man. It doesn't exist.

SAM: (singing) In the morning.

MATT: Anyway. Bringing us into tonight's episode, leading up to where we are currently in the story: Vox Machina, having spent a period of time battling with the Chroma Conclave, a collection of evil and allied chromatic dragons that terrorized the Tal'Dorei countryside, have acquired artifacts called the Vestiges of Divergence. After traversing the planes and locations to gather allies, they made war on the current occupying armies of Thordak the Cinder King in the center of the capital city of Emon, managed to eke out a victory, destroying Thordak, and apparently go into battle with a dragon they'd made an alliance with, known as Raishan, the Diseased Deceiver, a member of the Conclave with which they had a very tenuous agreement to work together. After being nearly killed by Raishan as she flew the coop, essentially, you managed to collect the remaining armies of the city, made sure everyone was okay. You ran into an old friend from Westruun, Kerrek, who had brought a number of his able-bodied warriors with him to aid in this battle. You then made your way to Whitestone with Kerrek to ascertain the location of Raishan, the Diseased Deceiver, of which apparently she had absconded to what's called the island of Viskon. It used to belong to a necromancer and then briefly became the lair of Thordak the Cinder King before his original attack on Tal'Dorei roughly 16 years ago. You then gathered your weapons, your armor, and your reserve strength, and with a couple of allies traversed through teleportation all the way to this island, managed to battle your way through a deep dungeon that once this necromancer called home, going past traps and chasms filled with undead, and gravity reversed through magical means. You made your way into a small tunnel just past this area into what seemed to split into two sides. Behind that, what appeared to be the necromancer's sanctum, some sort of necrotic laboratory, where you discovered there within two of the eggs of Thordak's lair that were taken by Raishan, the corpse of Thordak, folded in the corner, and apparently Raishan's female human form, currently poring through books and rummaging through what currently appears to be the relatively untouched necropolis chamber. So, last we left off, the two twins had snuck ahead to take a look and take in the information of this vicinity, while the rest of the party began to slowly approach from behind. As the rest of the party is coming behind, I would like everybody else to make a stealth check, please.

MARISHA: Do we have Pass Without a Trace?

LAURA: Yes. No.

MATT: I don't believe you cast it. Did you?

TALIESIN: Ages ago.

LIAM: Yeah, ages ago. I just don't know how long it lasts.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it's been a while.

MATT: You've lost concentration since then.

LAURA: Yeah, I don't think I've cast it since we came out the other side.

LIAM: Flying up on the broom, all that.

LAURA: Natural 20 for Pike!

TRAVIS: That's a good thing.

MATT: Great. She has disadvantage because of her armor. Roll again. Well, no, she put on the elven boots, didn't she?

LAURA: No, Kima did.

MATT: That's right. So yeah, roll again.

LIAM: Just roll another 20.

TRAVIS: Just do it again. Here we go. Hi! Hey!

MARISHA: We've done it before and we can do it again.

TRAVIS: Not as great.

LIAM: Never mind.

TRAVIS: What is it?

LAURA: Four?

MATT: Four.

TRAVIS: Plus? Plus?

LAURA: Nothing.

TRAVIS: Cool. 13.

TALIESIN: Eight with a natural one.

MARISHA: Ten total.

SAM: Not good.

TRAVIS: Let's be honest, she fucking knows we're here.

PATRICK: This was my one 20 of the night, folks, everyone else--

LAURA: Failed you.

MARISHA: It just means you won't die first.

TALIESIN: She doesn't know you're here.

LAURA: Yeah, you're invisible. You have an invisibility ring.

PATRICK: I put on the ring and I just leave.

(all laugh)

PATRICK: Just gone.

MATT: One step.

TALIESIN: And that's how Bilbo's insurance company started. Just going home. We can start again with a real job. I'm done.

LIAM: 30.

MATT: 30?

LAURA: Wait, the twins are rolling too? I should've taken that 20 for myself, then.

LIAM: Yeah, I thought you did.

MATT: You guys are still on the same stealth roll as last time. You're fine. Grog?

TRAVIS: 13.

MATT: 13.

LIAM: What the fuck was that?

LAURA: I don't know. Trinket's still in my necklace.

MATT: Trinket's still in your necklace.

LAURA: I left him in because he healed. He's in my necklace.

MATT: He is.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: All right, so. As you guys turn the corner on the right side of this hallway, you saw this laboratory filled with bookshelves, chains, candelabras on the walls, a large door across the back wall. There are two pillars in the center of the room that are strewn with various magical engravings. You see this bunch of books scattered across the ground, pulled out of the bookcase, and there's one that's opened against this book-holding platform. You see two cages in the back of each corner that seem to contain some sort of slumped corpse or body of some kind. It's hard to see in the low light of this room because the only light you're getting is from the candelabras in the space. There you see the woman with long, dark green hair, silverish pale skin, robes, piercing eyes of yellow and emerald. As the rest of your party catches up from behind you with the ever-so-subtle sounds of metallic footfalls and plated armor against plated armor, the female figure seems unfazed by it and just continues to turn a page and grab another book. Takes a book and reads a passage of it and throws it off in the corner. There's a pause before the female figure stops, and still facing away, begins to speak out into the air of the room. "Well, you certainly proved quicker than I anticipated, but I unfortunately have business here, and I would kindly ask you all to leave. The Conclave has served its purpose, as you have served yours. We have nothing more to discuss." Turns another page of the book and continues facing away.

LIAM: Can I look at the ceiling, every other part of this room except for where she is, to see if she's also somewhere else?

MATT: Sure, make a perception check.

TRAVIS: I think we should just leave.

(all laugh)

LIAM: 22.

MATT: Okay. Glancing about, even with your low-light vision, the halls here are roughly 20 to 25 feet wide and about as much in height as well, 25 to 30 feet tall, carved arches. You don't see any other alcoves or hidden spaces. It appears to be just this figure in this room amongst the rotting corpse of Thordak and the two eggs tossed to the side.

PATRICK: I'm going to burn my final Divine Sense, just because I've never been exposed to this creature at all. She's got a lot of extra names like "the Diseased" and "the Corrupter" and whatever, so I don't know if she might be-- I have no idea. I'm just trying to draw a bead on whatever's in the room.

MATT: Right.

PATRICK: It's 60 feet, and I think it's fiends, corrupted, and undead. Location and type.

MATT: Correct, okay. So as you hear these words echoing through the hallway around you, the rest of the group, the tension rising. You watch as just through a quick glance, each ally in the room, their bodies just instinctually tighten, their muscles getting ready for anything at this point in time. You close your eyes and focus on the presence around you. You do not sense anything.

PATRICK: Okay.

MATT: No celestials, no fiends, no undead.

LAURA: Did the party, as they were clomping along, did they catch up with us at all, or are they still that far back?

MATT: They're still this far back, nobody has-- this is where you guys stopped upon the discussion happening, so the twins are still up ahead. The rest of the party is halfway through this unit here. The actual chasm ends over on this side here, and this is the entranceway with the fountain you had discovered.

TRAVIS: Somebody should roll off to the left.

LAURA: Before any of that happens, though, I want to get Pike to step forward so she's within 30 feet of everybody. As many people as possible. Can she be right in the middle?

MATT: That's about as close to middle as she can get right now.

MARISHA: Can we all move up a little bit?

TALIESIN: I'm going to peel off a little bit to the left--

LAURA: But wait just a fucking second so she can cast Beacon of Hope on everybody! Just one second. She's trying to help you.

TALIESIN: I just got yelled at in my earpiece, so I will not--

LAURA: Pike's like, "Just a fucking second! Let me cast Beacon of Hope!"

TALIESIN: Sorry, sorry.

TRAVIS: Pike swore.

MARISHA: Pike!

MATT: What's the range on Beacon of Hope?

LAURA: 30 feet.

MATT: 30 feet. All right. So that would get... that would be everybody. Everybody is currently under the effect of Beacon of Hope.

SAM: What does that mean?

PATRICK: Which is...

SAM: We are very hopeful now.

LAURA: Which means that you are hopeful and vital.

MATT: Is it a perpetual radius of her, or does it affect each person at the time of casting?

LAURA: It affects everybody at the time of casting.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I think. It just says range is 30 feet. Choose any number of creatures within range. For the duration, each target has advantage on wisdom saving throws and death saving throws, and regains the maximum number of hit points when healed.

MATT: Yes, that's correct. All of you guys have this effect on you as long as she maintains concentration. So keep tabs on maximum healing and wisdom saves and death saves.

TALIESIN: Is she really there, or is that an illusion?

LAURA: I can't tell. Can I tell if it's really an illusion, or does it look like she's really there?

MARISHA: Can you sense her?

TALIESIN: Yeah, try to sense.

LAURA: Well, I couldn't sense her before when she was in her human form, so I'm assuming I can't sense her now.

MARISHA: Like she's got something masking her, that whole thing?

LAURA: Yeah, I mean.

TRAVIS: She's the Deceiver.

LAURA: I did the dragon-sense right before we came down this hallway and I sensed three dragons down here.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MARISHA: Right. Okay.

MATT: Okay. In the time it's taken you guys to deliberate and discuss this, and the long awkward pause that's transpired after Raishan said the previous thing she did, her voice picks up once again and says, "Whereabouts is your brass pet?"

LAURA: Whereabouts are you?

MATT: No response.

MARISHA: Keyleth steps forward a little bit towards the twins.

TRAVIS: Percy and Grog are going to roll off to the left.

TALIESIN: We're peeling off to the left, and I'm going to wall-walk. I'm going to keep going until I'm on line-of-sight with the red eggs against the back wall.

MATT: You can get there.

TRAVIS: Cool.

TALIESIN: Not that far, not even that far, like there. Yeah.

LIAM: I would like to move across from my sister and move forward up to-- I can't tell from the overview, but a little bit of rock's right there?

MATT: Right there, yeah.

LIAM: And stay hidden.

MATT: There?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: All righty.

MARISHA: Keyleth just says, "Did you find what you were looking for?"

MATT: "I did, actually. I discovered Thordak's original intent. Before the soul anchor drove him insane and he lost sight of his purpose. Well, it appears that it holds the same answer that I've been seeking as well. So. In a word: yes."

MARISHA: And this is the answer to your... disease you were looking for? Your curse?

MATT: "Perhaps."

MARISHA: I'm assuming it has something to do with the soul gem. Do you think you can resist the same type of madman mentality that Thordak fell victim to when you anchor yourself?

MATT: Still facing away, you see the shoulders shift with a chuckle. "I would not dare touch such a piece. It is far too dangerous. The soul gem is destroyed. It is of no use to me."

LAURA: While that conversation's going on, I want to bamf Trinket out and send him around the other way.

TRAVIS: To the left?

MATT: Around this way?

LAURA: With Grog.

MATT: Okay, have Trinket roll a stealth check, if you could.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Being a big bear.

LAURA: Come on, Trinket! You're so quiet-- ooh! Trinket rolls a 19.

TRAVIS: Why a stealth check?

SAM: Maybe the lair or something.

LAURA: Well maybe she doesn't know Trinket's here.

PATRICK: I'll move up a little bit, too.

MATT: To how far?

PATRICK: Enough so that hopefully I can get as many people within ten feet as possible, and ideally within 30 feet, if I need to rush and attack.

MATT: Okay. Currently, you are in a space to get three people in your area. You could either move forward with them, or if you wish to push forward on your own, you are currently not visible.

PATRICK: Right, yeah.

MATT: Okay. Kima is going to follow along with Grog and Trinket. Allura feels the lack of magical force on this side, is going to follow up behind you guys as well.

TRAVIS: I'm over there.

(all laugh)

MATT: Even with her hood up, she gives you a glance like--

TRAVIS: Stay behind me.

MATT: Well, of course I am, that's part of the reason.

MARISHA: Magic Grog, the Magic Mike sequel.

MATT: Scanlan?

SAM: I'll inch up a little, still hiding behind those outcroppings there, and then I'm going to call out the dog.

LAURA: Ooh, nice! Pike's going to walk to the middle, where she's in between the two parties.

TALIESIN: Ooh, that's really clever.

SAM: I'm going to summon the dog. I just say, "Good doggy!" Right? And I throw the figurine.

LIAM: (posh voice) Hello.

(all laugh)

LAURA: Like Reginald or something? What was his name?

SAM: I forget-- we never figured out his name. We know it, or something. You said-- it was very cryptic.

MARISHA: I did write it down at one point in time, but I'm not going to look for it right now.

MATT: The dog hops out. I'll use this badger for the time being.

SAM: You put a badger down?

MATT: I couldn't find an actual dog figure.

MARISHA: The badger? That's even better!

LIAM: I've got a mastiff. I'll donate it.

MATT: It still works fine!

SAM: Badger doesn't give a shit.

LAURA: And then Pike wants to walk in between the two parties, so hiding behind that wall outcropping.

MATT: Okay. All right. At this point, the air itself is still very still, and the closer you get to this as you approach, the smell of decay is as overwhelming as it was in the chasm that you crossed before. Raishan continues to speak and says, "You may also come to notice a curiosity about this island that explains a lot of the legends around it. Sadly, the pressures of time left me forgetting until I arrived, which has limited my options. I had only used the glyph once before, years ago, but... it is as it is. So I ask you once again: we made a deal. You rescinded on that deal and punishment was required. You survive only by my grace and your stubborn need to cling to your insignificant lives. Regardless, I have what I sought now, and I offer you this opportunity to leave freely. Decline, and you choose your resting place here, away from your loved ones, to be forgotten and join the undying dregs of a long-passed madman's fancy."

TRAVIS: Somebody do something.

SAM: Maybe we should just leave.

MARISHA: Keyleth steps forward again, a little bit more, and says--

MATT: You bump into the shoulders--

MARISHA: "Excuse me. Sorry. I just want to, I just, okay." I want to keep walking up to her as much as I can.

MATT: Okay. So you step out of the shadows.

MARISHA: Yes.

PATRICK: Shit, I've got to follow-- if I see her moving-- I can't. I'm not good with that.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: I would also, on the other side, like to advance as far as I can without reaching her eyeline.

MATT: You would be about there. Kima sneaks up behind you, Trinket follows up behind there, and Allura stays just to one side there.

MARISHA: While all this is happening, Keyleth is speaking to try and keep her attention. "You know, Raishan, you've taught me a lot about myself, these past few weeks; arguably more than I've learned about myself my entire years of living."

MATT: "Good. I'm glad I could enlighten and inspire in these final moments."

MARISHA: Inspiration's a word I guess you could use. I would say more of a cautionary tale. In an odd way, I hope I never become you. All those years of long life That some many call a blessing. I'm sure there are many lonely moments, and I hope, in my darkest of times, I don't turn to rage and anger and selfish actions the way you did.

MATT: "You know nothing about me, child. Nothing."

MARISHA: That may be true.

MATT: She turns around for the first time to meet your eyes, and you can see the gleam of bright, sickly yellow and dark, deep emerald green for pupils as she turns with a slight smile just curling across her porcelain skin.

MARISHA: I see I have your attention after all.

MATT: "You've had my attention since you entered this place. You aren't the subtlest of adventurers."

MARISHA: No. We... I mean, we know.

(all laugh)

TALIESIN: That's what I was waiting for. Thank you.

MARISHA: Touche.

MATT: "So what is it? You've come here to speak on your enlightenment and die? Or do we wish to maintain the agreement we had, go our own separate ways--"

SAM: I'm going to really quickly whisper to the dog, "Do you see anything that we don't?"

MATT: The dog looks around. "No."

SAM: Good doggy.

MARISHA: You're correct. We reneged on our deal, just as you did on your end. There was a mutual distrust. We knew that from the beginning.

MATT: "That makes us even, then, does it not?"

MARISHA: It does. But, in terms of negotiation, you presented your deal, so we will now present ours.

LAURA: I'm backing up, but I'm drawing an arrow and just notching it and waiting to see if she does anything to Keyleth.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: My want for revenge against you, while still strong and very palpable, I now understand was ultimately selfish only in the sense that everyone else in Tal'Dorei should share in the revelry of bringing you to justice. I am not the only one-- we are not the only ones-- who have felt the ramifications of your destructive actions. And as much as I would like to make do on my promise that I told you weeks ago, and end your life right now, I desperately want the rest of Tal'Dorei to feel that satisfaction as well. So. You surrender now, you come with us under means of temporary control, we take you back to Emon-- maybe the Fire Ashari; we'll work that out, we're going to take you and you face trial amongst the Tal'Dorei Council, the people of the Ashari, and on behalf of the rest of the citizens of Exandria. If you choose to not take this offer, then I guess we will see whose final resting place it will be in this cave.

MATT: The book that she currently had in her hands closes in her grasp as her eyes don't flicker or shift or blink from your connection. She looks to you with her chin raised a bit.

MARISHA: I mirror her. Puff up a little bit.

MATT: You act as though the laws of the anthill affect the foot that crushes it. You speak words of importance, but I've seen laws and people come and go, change, die, turn to dust and rise again. People kill neighbor. Families die from the inside and out. You see, I'm diseased, but look upon you. You insignificant creatures. You do more to your own people than I've done in an entire lifetime.

MARISHA: That might be true, but at least that is the fate of our own consequences and our own doing, not some outwardly force forcing their repercussions on us. And you should know, Raishan, I've stepped on plenty of anthills in my day. Those that don't die revolt. And guess what? There are some pretty nasty stings from some ants out there.

LAURA: They'll leave a welt. You'll itch for days.

MARISHA: The strength of a colony is stronger than the individual of one great diseased foot.

MATT: "You are truly not intending to leave me be, are you?"

MARISHA: Nope.

MATT: "Well, that is such an unfortunate disposition on your part. Interestingly enough--" And she thumbs a couple of pages in the next book, closes it, and throws it to the side. "My needs do happen to call for a handful of powerful magic-users. And there are proper tools within these caverns to keep you in line. So we shall call your foolishness kismet."

MARISHA: I guess we can say the same for yours. I guess it's a matter of who wins, now.

MATT: Very well.

MARISHA: I'm giving you one last shot.

LAURA: I Hunter's Mark her. At 2nd level, because that's what I have.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Same.

MATT: What do you do?

LIAM: Hunter's Mark.

MARISHA: Surrender, and if you choose not to, at least we can go forward in our consciences and know that we gave you a choice.

MATT: So as you guys are casting the spell and she's saying this, Raishan responds with, "I shall relish closing the final chapter on your brief, pitiful tales, and beginning a fresh, new chapter of my own." As you guys both mark, the spell has no effect, takes no root in the space. You maintain concentration, but nothing was marked. There is nothing there, physical.

TALIESIN: The dog, in theory, sees invisible things, by the way.

SAM: It's not invisible. She's not there.

MARISHA: Is she a hologram? Is she an illusion?

TRAVIS: What are we doing?

MATT: What are you doing? Aside from rolling initiative, which I think probably would be a good thing to do right now. So let's go ahead and roll initiative now.

MARISHA: Wait. That's the dead body of Thordak, right?

MATT: Correct.

MARISHA: She's not possessing Thordak, is she? She's speaking through him--

LIAM: No, the paladin checked for undead.

LAURA: I sensed three dragons.

MARISHA: Oh, undead, that's right.

PATRICK: I would've probably sensed, unless there's some sort of masking going on here.

LAURA: Which she's good at.

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: Oh man, I don't like hearing that.

MARISHA: Lucky green, lucky green, come on!

TALIESIN: (laughs) I'm sorry.

MARISHA: Ah, if it wasn't so ironic...

LAURA: That's a bad Taliesin laugh.

TALIESIN: (singing) It's like rain...

TALIESIN AND MARISHA: (singing) On your wedding day!

TRAVIS: Please do not sing that song.

TALIESIN: We'll be doomed to die if we sing that song any further.

MATT: So. Folks. Initiative tracking going down now. We have 25 to 20.

LIAM: 25.

LAURA: 24.

TALIESIN: 22.

SAM: 21.

PATRICK: Jeez!

MARISHA: Thank god you guys are alive. Thank fuck.

MATT: 25, 24?

SAM: 21.

MATT: 21.

TALIESIN: 22.

MATT: 22. All right. 20 to 15?

TRAVIS: 16.

PATRICK: Did you roll for Pike?

LAURA: Yeah, I did, I rolled for Pike. She got eight, Pike got eight.

MATT: Pike got eight. Keyleth, what did you get?

MARISHA: Four!

MATT: Kerrek?

PATRICK: You don't add proficiency bonus. It's only a dex bonus, right?

MATT: Just dex bonus, correct.

PATRICK: Then 11.

MATT: Okay. So we have...

TALIESIN: You don't add proficiency bonus?

PATRICK: That's what I was asking about for dex. For initiative, rather.

MARISHA: I think that's you, because you're a fancy fighter.

TALIESIN: I'm weird, okay. That's a weird thing.

TRAVIS: So Keyleth got the lowest? You got the lowest one?

MARISHA AND TALIESIN: Yeah.

MARISHA: I was talking. I was giving a very compelling speech.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I was writing it down. With my inability to write.

MATT: All righty. So. Top of the round, currently. Vax, what are you doing?

LIAM: And we see nothing.

MATT: You see nothing now. You just see the apparently not-physically-there humanoid form of Raishan, still standing on the opposite side.

LIAM: And two eggs.

MATT: Two eggs here, and the corpse.

LIAM: All right, I'm going to cross back across, north, to the-- I mean, I click on the Boots of Haste. I'm going to move straight towards you, Matt, across the hall so I'm by the corner there.

MATT: Over here?

LIAM: No, not that far. No, closer to me. Right there. And I'm going to throw at the eggs.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: And it's... I'm going first, so with Assassinate, I get advantage on all these because I'm the first to go in combat? Yes? Yep.

MATT: Sure.

LIAM: Starting at third level, you are deadly, so you get the drop on your enemies. You have advantage on attack rolls against any creature that hasn't taken a turn in the combat yet.

MATT: Okay. Sure. The eggs have not taken a turn in the combat yet.

LIAM: That's great. And I'm going to use sharpshooter, so I get a negative five on these.

TRAVIS: The eggs have't taken a turn yet.

MATT: Vax'ildan, the Egg Assassin.

LIAM: Yeah! 21 for the first.

MATT: That hits.

LIAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: (trailer voice) This Easter, the eggs have not taken a turn.

MATT: (trailer voice) Prepare to be scrambled.

LIAM: (laughing) The second one is 18.

MATT: 18 hits.

LIAM: Okay. And that is-- oh, that's not that good. Is 14.

MATT: 14? Okay.

LIAM: Do they all three hit, or just the first two?

MATT: First two.

LIAM: First two. Okay. So the first one gets sneak attack damage.

LAURA: Those eggs don't even know you're coming.

LIAM: That's right. What, you want them to take less damage?

LAURA: Oh no.

LIAM: Yeah yeah. Yeah yeah yeah.

MATT: These eggs are caught unaware.

TALIESIN: This'll be over easy.

TRAVIS: Taliesin.

TALIESIN: I'm so proud. So proud.

(all laugh)

LIAM: 32 for that one.

PATRICK: Eggcellent.

(all groan)

PATRICK: I didn't start this, but I will finish it.

LIAM: And what the heck, I'm going to poison that egg, so that is (laughing) Seven. That egg has to make a DC 15 success against poison.

(all laugh)

MATT: Succeeds with a natural 17.

LIAM: So, does it get half? Or... half, right? Or none? I don't know. I've never killed an egg before.

MATT: I mean, it still takes the full sneak attack damage, and it is not poisoned.

LIAM: Not poisoned. So give it another seven hit points of damage from the dagger itself.

MATT: A total of...?

LIAM: Seven for that second attack. The earlier one was 32. Isn't Dungeons and Dragons fun?

LAURA: Eggs, you guys. Eggs.

MATT: So as you rush past, and careening around the corner, throwing these three daggers out to the side, the first one just smacks into the side, and the egg, which had already been previously damaged structure-wise by a somewhat resistant but still impactful burst of druidic magic energy in the previous conflict, the first dagger cuts through like a hot knife through butter, out the side of the egg. You watch as the shell on the other side just scatters, causing this splatter of some sort of thick liquid against the wall. The other two daggers, one just careens off to the side, the second one that does impact continues and causes the egg to actually crack and fold in on itself, causing it to leak out the side of the shell as it collapses in on itself somewhat.

SAM: That's one egg down?

MATT: So that egg there I will mark as currently--

LAURA: Scrambled.

MARISHA: Sunny side up.

MATT: Destroyed.

TALIESIN: Florentine.

TRAVIS: Benedict.

LAURA: Poached.

MATT: There you go. That one is destroyed.

TALIESIN: Poached.

MATT: All right. Does that end your turn?

LIAM: Yeah, I'll stick with it.

MATT: Okay. Next up is Vex.

LAURA: That's me. I'm going to immediately say over the earring, "I don't think she's really there," and then try to look and see anything, any sign of her that I can spot. Can I see anything?

MATT: Make a perception check.

LAURA: 30.

MATT: 30. Glancing around you in the current space, that is definitively an illusion, and in fact the way it shimmers-- and you look at the books that it was using and messing with. While you were keeping more of an eye on the area, you notice now that the books that she dropped just vanished.

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: It was all part of the illusion. Definitely not there, but you don't see anything around you that resembles a hidden or stealthed dragon-sized creature.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: What else would you like to do with your turn?

LAURA: Fuck. I think I'm going to save-- I'm going to back up against the wall, just straight back.

MATT: Right here?

LAURA: Yeah. Because I feel very uncomfortable with the situation and I'm going to save my attack for if Thordak moves, if anything moves at all, I'm going to wait to attack it.

MATT: Attack it? So you're holding your attack action in case something moves.

LAURA: Yeah. In case Thordak moves or I see Raishan or something.

MATT: Okay, cool. Percival. Still on this back wall here.

TALIESIN: Okay. First things first. I'm going to take a shot with Bad News at the remaining egg.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: So let's just do that. Why are you doing that? Okay, good. That's a 22 to hit?

MATT: That hits.

TALIESIN: So that's... ooh, that's nice. 25 points of damage.

MATT: All righty. The first shot hits. You see the front of the egg spider-crack inward, like how you shot in the Thordak battle, but the egg still holds firm. As you begin loading for your next shot, you watch as part of the egg begins to crack outward, like something's pushing out from the inside of the egg.

TALIESIN: Okay, never mind. Then I'm going to take another-- okay, I'm going to take another Sharpshooter shot at it. I'm going to try to hit it and kill it dead. Yeah, I'm having a weird premonition that's making me really uncomfortable. 16?

MATT: 16 to hit?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: With its armor, that probably won't hit, unfortunately. The bullet ricochets off the outside of the hardened eggshell and just (ricochet sound).

LIAM: I don't know if it makes a difference, I called Sharpshooter on my shots before but forgot to add the additional ten per attack.

MATT: You destroyed the egg. You threw them all simultaneously at a single egg.

LIAM: Okay.

MARISHA: Did you add ten to yours just now?

TALIESIN: No, sharpshooter I lose five to hit, which is why I didn't hit it, but I get ten extra points of damage. I'm feeling like now is the time to take this out of play, so I'm going to burn an... Action Surge right now. I'm going to burn an Action Surge.

MATT: Sure, buddy.

TALIESIN: And I'm going to take another shot with Bad News. (nerdy voice) Action Surge.

MATT: Go for it.

TALIESIN: Same thing, sharpshooter shot.

MATT: Do it.

TRAVIS: (nerdy voice) It's time for an Action Surge.

LIAM: (nerdy voice) Raishan!

(all laugh)

TALIESIN: That misses.

MATT: Ricochets off again.

TALIESIN: Oh man, regular shot, because fuck it.

MARISHA: That's better!

TALIESIN: That hits. That's 32 to hit. I should've just taken it. But that's okay, we'll see what we do damage-wise. That's not bad. 22 points of damage.

MATT: With the second shot, you tear the top half of the egg off. As it goes splattering to the side of it, you can watch as what looks to be some sort of a very, very young primordial dragon like the ones that you had yanked out of the eggs before that was trying to pull its way out of the egg, slumps lifelessly over the side of the egg you destroyed.

SAM: Aw. You're terrible, Taliesin. You're so hard-boiled.

MATT: That's awful.

TALIESIN: I don't suppose I have time to run a weird perception check, do I? Really quickly? Do I have a moment for a perception check?

MATT: You've used all your action and your bonus action...

TALIESIN: I haven't burned any movement, though.

MATT: What are you looking for?

TALIESIN: Is that center wall real?

MATT: This center wall here? This would be an investigation check.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm calling that. 23?

MATT: 23. Glancing over across the way, best you can tell, the wall appears to be solid and is an actual, natural barrier in the cavern.

TALIESIN: Okay, just wanted to have my moment.

LAURA: Oh my god, that would've been so smart, though.

TALIESIN: I had a moment of horror like, oh god, that's dragon-sized. Okay, cool.

MARISHA: Yeah, that's her. It could still be her.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MARISHA: He could've just not rolled high enough.

MATT: So that ends your turn. At the end of Percy's turn, the human figure across the way with the dark green hair gives a deep bow.

LAURA: Oh no.

MATT: And then vanishes from the field.

LAURA: No.

TRAVIS: That wasn't so bad.

SAM: We won!

LAURA: Good job, guys.

MARISHA: We just made her leave.

MATT: The dog turns around and faces this direction and starts barking.

SAM: Yes. Yes!

TALIESIN: Good boy.

MATT: You just hear (heavy footsteps) and then suddenly (flapping wings), there's suddenly a torrent of wind blowing within the area as something is disturbing the air quite heavily. So that's that.

LAURA: I am holding my action until Raishan does anything. I hope she attacks-- well no, I hope we get to attack her soon.

MATT: That's going to be the end of Raishan's turn.

TRAVIS: Really? Just the sound?

MATT: Yeah. You all of a sudden hear the mastiff barking over and over again in this direction.

LAURA: Do I see, did I-- oh god, I can't, it's not my turn.

MATT: But you don't see anything.

LAURA: No. Did my hair go whoosh?

MATT: A little bit.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: It's kind of always doing that a little bit, though.

LAURA: I mean, a little bit.

MATT: Scanlan, it's your turn.

SAM: I turn to face in the direction that my dog is looking. And... shitballs. Who's that near me back there?

MATT: This is Vex. That's Pike.

SAM: Okay. Vex I will inspire with a quick limerick.

LAURA: Oh?

SAM: Gern Blanston wept and wept-o, his wonderful broom had been swept-o, first our Vex spied it, then she Shanghai'd it, because it turns out she's a total klepto.

(all laugh)

MATT: You can take your d12 inspiration.

LAURA: Bringing it back.

SAM: And then I will-- balls. I want to hold my thing to-- but I'm not going to. I'm going to hope this works and the dragon's coming at us. Maybe. I'm going to step forward as much as I can towards the sound I heard and blow my horn of fog just everywhere.

LIAM: Can't you put that drug pipe down for like five seconds?

SAM: Don't take it away from me, man!

TRAVIS: Blow one note.

SAM: It's for tobacco, okay?

(all laugh)

MATT: All righty.

PATRICK: This is going to settle a lot of bets on who vapes.

MATT: All right, so yeah, 20-foot radius... so you create this area here, and obscures it. So currently, this whole tunnel is just filled with fog. You have no vision beyond the outside of it, right where you are.

SAM: All right. Good. But if something comes through, it will disturb the fog, correct?

MATT: It may.

SAM: Oh, shit.

(all laugh)

TALIESIN: Congratulations, we can play Laser Tag now.

MATT: All right. That ends your turn, Scanlan?

SAM: Yeah, I'll just say, "I think she's over here, guys!" And that's it.

MATT: All right, Grog, your turn.

TRAVIS: I rage and-- I would like to rage.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: With my 50 feet of speed, can I try to make it to Thordak's corpse? See how far I get?

MARISHA: Yes, yes, get it. Get it!

MATT: You get right up to it, yeah.

TRAVIS: Okay, cool. Can I take-- I found out that the hammer, the dwarven thrower, is a versatile weapon.

MATT: Yeah, you can hold it with two hands if you'd like.

TRAVIS: With two hands, can I take a shot at his big stupid cranium?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Okay. I want to squash the watermelon.

MATT: All right, roll for it.

TRAVIS: Oh, reckless.

MATT: Sure. You didn't need it, but go for it.

TRAVIS: Oh. Okay. Come on, crit on the dead skull-- natural 20!

MATT: Natural 20.

(all laugh)

TRAVIS: It's like a beached whale.

MATT: How do you want to do this, Grog?

TRAVIS: I talk to the new dwarven thrower-hammer. "This is the beginning of a beautiful relationship!"

MATT: As you leap in the air, using the momentum of your leap, you smash the dwarven thrower down onto the already partially-destroyed skull of Thordak's corpse, the skull immediately caving inward with the force of the blow. As it hits and curves inward, it releases this sudden burst of heavy ash into your face that fills your lungs and burns your eyes, and you cough. As you pull back, you try and wedge the hammer out, and as you do, you can see there is actual molten rock still dripping off the outside of the hammer. Any sort of general normal unenchanted metal would probably be slightly bowing or melting in the presence of such heat. It looks like even in its dead state after a day of rest, Thordak's corpse still maintained some sort of internal volcanic life as it slowly subsided, but the skull is destroyed. You see bits of the upper palate just scattered like bone chunks across the stonework of the floor, stopping at the outside of one of the cages. Thordak's head is thoroughly destroyed.

LIAM: J-E-L-L-O.

TRAVIS: Well played. I have another hit, but I want to get close enough for it. With my bonus action, can I use the Boots of Feral Leaping to make a horizontal leap 20 feet towards the remaining egg?

PATRICK: Oh, the second egg did get destroyed.

TRAVIS: Oh, they're all toast.

MATT: But you're welcome to, if you'd like.

TRAVIS: I want to leap.

LAURA: There's potentially corpses in those cages that could be something.

TRAVIS: I'm focused on the egg, all right?

LAURA: All right, sorry.

TRAVIS: I leap toward the eggs.

MATT: Okay, how far can you leap?

TRAVIS: 20 feet.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: And I have to make a DC 16 athletics check.

MATT: Go for it.

TRAVIS: 18.

MATT: All right. So you (leaping sound). Not as far as you'd like, but that egg is staring you down. There is an unmoving baby dragon corpse that is-- you've got a date with your hammer.

TRAVIS: If I touch down, may I throw the dwarven hammer at baby egg corpse?

MATT: Go for it.

(all laugh)

TRAVIS: Reckless.

MATT: Yeah, advantage. All your attacks are reckless, man.

TRAVIS: Yes! Do it again! No, not quite.

LAURA: That's okay, it's dead. It probably hits.

TRAVIS: 24.

(all laugh)

MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

TRAVIS: But this is just a d8 because it's one-handed, right?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: 21--

MATT: Plus an additional d8 because you threw it.

LIAM: I don't know if we're going to kill Raishan, but we smoked those eggs.

MATT: It's part of the enchantment of the hammer.

TRAVIS: I think it's just if it's a giant it's a 2d8. Yeah, you're right. Ranged attack. So that's 26 total.

MATT: 26 total. The currently-lifeless limp corpse of this nearly-hatched primordial dragon-- whatever this new entity was through the merger of the power of the soul anchor in the fire elemental plane and Thordak, the ancient red dragon, this remaining dragonkin-- is turned into red oatmeal against the table and the stone wall behind it.

TRAVIS: Yeah! Start the morning right. Come back from that, bitches!

MATT: Well done, Grog.

TRAVIS: No? We're not worried about that?

TALIESIN: No, you're good.

LAURA: Trinket's fighting every urge to go lick up the egg.

(all laugh)

TALIESIN: Oh, don't eat that. Don't eat that. No.

LAURA: Come on, he's a bear.

TRAVIS: I'm good.

MATT: You're good, all right. At the end of your turn--

LIAM: That hall looks dangerous right where he is.

MATT: Let's see here.

LIAM: There's two magical columns right there.

TRAVIS: Those aren't even there at all.

MATT: Scanlan, you feel a strange, warm sensation in your chest--

LAURA: Oh, you've been dispelled.

MARISHA: Bitch.

MATT: Also at the end of your turn, Grog, or as soon as your turn ends, you hear this (undead inhale) strange sucking breath-like sound.

TRAVIS: Don't do it. Listen, I like you the way you are. Don't--

MATT: (laughing) Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah, that's a fucking five.

MATT: Five. You are talking fervently at your hammer. "Please--"

TRAVIS: Please don't. Look, come on. In my previous relationship, I've been burned before. Okay? I want to start fresh.

SAM: Then I also lose my--

TALIESIN: No, that's only-- well, that may be something else. That's Beacon of Hope. That's a different thing.

MATT: That'll do it.

MARISHA: But is it still dispelled?

TALIESIN: It depends on what she dispelled.

MATT: The time you're focusing on the hammer, you aren't paying attention to your surroundings until you just see the shadows coalescing closer to you than you expect, and by the time you look up, you watch as two black smoked, wraith-like entities that had slowly pulled themselves out of the two cages on the sides have shifted beside and lashed out at you.

TRAVIS: (shrieks) I scream like I'm in a haunted house.

(all laugh)

SAM: You are in a haunted house.

MARISHA: Yeah, I was just going to say, I've seen that. That's legit.

TRAVIS: I jump like a bitch. The Boots of Feral Leaping are nothing, y'all.

MARISHA: Halloween Horror Nights is only fun when watching him.

MATT: 19 to hit.

TRAVIS: Oh, that hits.

MATT: They have advantage against you. I forgot. So 19 and the other hit is two and a 22.

TRAVIS: Both hit.

MATT: So both hit you. All righty. You suffer 21 points of necrotic damage from the first hit.

TRAVIS: Necrotic, huh?

SAM: You don't have anything against that.

TRAVIS: I'm going to Forrest Gump up this bitch. Real quick.

MATT: And 20 points of necrotic damage, so a total of?

TRAVIS: 42.

MATT: 41 points of necrotic damage.

TRAVIS: 41, 21 and 20.

MATT: I need you to make two constitution saving throws.

PATRICK: Which I think we have advantage on right now.

TRAVIS: Is this a saving throw or just a constitution--

LAURA: Oh yeah. Well, wisdom.

MATT: You have advantage on wisdom. This is a constitution save.

PATRICK: It was from the Hero's Feast.

MATT: Hero's Feast isn't constitution, it's wisdom.

PATRICK: Okay, sorry.

TRAVIS: Minus two to everything, right?

MATT: You're at minus two to everything.

TRAVIS: That is a three minus two equals one.

LIAM: It's not a natural one, though.

MATT: And the second hit?

TRAVIS: Is an 11.

MATT: All right. So your maximum hit points are also reduced by 41 as both of the wraiths drain the life force out of you, their claws rake through your body like it's nothing, and as they pull back, you feel the breath sucked from your lungs, and you instinctually cough for a second, almost stumbling to one knee, as both the wraiths chuckle at the side of your face.

LAURA: I feel like we aren't taking this seriously enough, you guys. 'Cause I feel like this could be really bad, right now.

SAM: No, no, we made some good omelets.

LAURA: Oh my god.

MATT: All righty. Kerr.

SAM: This is important work.

LIAM: The room was empty.

MATT: You watched this happen.

PATRICK: Oh yeah, oh yeah.

MATT: Over here, as well as seeing the fog cloud suddenly fill the opposite side of the cavern, and for a brief moment, you're-- you feel like you're a little bit out of your element, but you click in and your combat sense kicks in. What do you want to do?

PATRICK: This is my game, right there. Horrible things from beyond the grave. Plus--

MARISHA: What up, paladin!

PATRICK: -- my new boyfriend is in a bad way, so.

TRAVIS: That's me. This guy.

SAM: I missed one episode.

TRAVIS: Total Kerr-bear.

PATRICK: I've got movement of 30, that'll get me up there?

LIAM: Play-date!

MATT: Yeah. You have five, ten, 15, 20, 25, you can get right-- you can go 30 and get right next to both of them, if you'd like.

PATRICK: There's probably advantages to that.

MATT: Up to you. Doesn't matter.

TALIESIN: There's advantages to both.

TALIESIN and MARISHA: There's advantages to both.

(all laugh)

PATRICK: I will make one attack, the one closer to me for lack of a better choice.

MATT: Go for it.

PATRICK: 25.

MATT: 25 hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

PATRICK: Okay, now, I'm not going out on a limb here thinking that this is an undead creature?

MATT: This-- in your time, and you've come across quite a few undead creatures, based on what you've walked through in this endeavor? You-- while he did not see it, you watched these things rise out of the pile of corpses that are jammed at the bottom of each of these small cages. You have a pretty good sense that these are undead.

PATRICK: I misjudged the scale before, I thought my Divine Sense was big enough to cover this whole area.

MATT: Right.

PATRICK: So I am going to use my paladin ability, and I'm going to burn a first-level spell slot for my special paladin ability.

MATT: Divine Smite?

PATRICK: Yes, Divine Smite.

MATT: All righty. So that is 2d8--

PATRICK: Plus a d8 because they're undead.

MATT: Undead, so plus 3d8 to your attack damage.

MARISHA: Oh, hell yeah.

PATRICK: Yeah, so.

TRAVIS: Dammit.

PATRICK: Four, and then another 11 is 15 plus one more is... 31 radiant damage.

MARISHA: Fuck yeah.

MATT: Ooh. So as you rush in--

LIAM: But he's only seventh-level!

MATT: From your perspective, Keyleth, you watch as this flash of light, and from thin air you watch armored Kerrek just streak down with his glowing-headed warhammer, and slamming the side of this wraith-like entity. As it hits, you watch as the creature turns, the radiant energy just consuming part of its torso in the blast, and it shrieks out in pain as the radiant energy tends to burn the side of its undead form with a secondary flash as the divine energy bursts outward. That-- you watched the wraith go from eager and smooth to looking like it's shimmering in place and its form is starting to shake and hold itself present.

MARISHA: Keyleth just says, "I've never seen a gardener do that."

(all laugh)

TALIESIN: Landscaper.

MARISHA: (laughs) Landscaper.

PATRICK: And I will take my second attack.

MATT: Same one?

PATRICK: Yeah.

MATT: All right, go for it.

TALIESIN: Jesus.

PATRICK: That is not as good. Now, if I'm coming in invisible, do I get advantage due to surprise?

MATT: On the first strike you would've, yes.

PATRICK: Only the first, okay. So this is a 17.

MATT: 17 still hits.

PATRICK: Yay. And I will burn another spell slot.

MATT: Go for it.

PATRICK: I don't want these hanging around.

MATT: So weapon damage plus 3d8.

LIAM: Divern Smert!

PATRICK: Eight... 16-- oh! um. 16 plus 13, somebody help out the English major.

MATT: 29.

LIAM: Oh, good roll.

PATRICK: And 35. And, just to let you know, the Dusk Hammer also gives me plus 1d8 against undead. So I'm taking that extra one too. So those of you at home see I'm not fucking around.

MATT: Yeah, it's actually the ability of the weapon. Okay, so.

PATRICK: 35 radiant.

SAM: Rothfuss.

MATT: Nice.

SAM: OP.

PATRICK: That's how we do at level seven, folks.

(all laugh)

MATT: As the second strike, using the momentum of the first swing, you pull back and backhand it right in the face. As it cuts clean through with no resistance, the wraith seems to scatter, and the shadow reforms in the space it was, but barely. It's like--

PATRICK: Oh, you're kidding me.

MATT: You're watching as part of it is flickering and bits of shadow are dripping and disappearing into the stonework behind, and its original kind of chuckling evil hungry visage is now this fearful "oh shit" look on its spectral, skeletal face.

TRAVIS: (singing) My boyfriend's back and you're going to be in trouble.

ALL: (singing with terrible harmonizing) Hey-na hey-na my boyfriend's back.

(all laugh)

MATT: That got weird.

LAURA: That was like the Addams Family version of 'My Boyfriend's Back'.

TALIESIN: I am so pleased that got so awful.

MATT: Really terrible.

TRAVIS: Somebody's cat at home just died. That was awful.

MARISHA: Just exploded.

TALIESIN: I might get my socks back, I'm very excited.

MATT: That ends Kerrek's turn--

MARISHA: They have only five hit points. We know this. Kitten damage.

PATRICK: When Invisibility goes off, is my displacer cloak still in effect? Do those things layer or--

MATT: Yeah, they're still in effect.

PATRICK: Okay.

MATT: You have three things you could attune to, and so--

PATRICK: Right.

MATT: While the ring is no longer invisible and--

PATRICK: I know that'll be out for a while.

MATT: That's out for a while, but the cloak is still in effect, and your hammer is still in effect.

PATRICK: Okay.

LIAM: The way that cloak goes is they're at disadvantage if they hit you once, then it goes away until the start of your next round.

PATRICK: Next turn.

LIAM: It keeps resetting.

PATRICK: I was mostly wondering, if I was invisible and displaced, if they can detect invisible do they see me displaced? But let's not worry about that until it becomes an issue.

MATT: Yeah, yeah. Well, in this circumstance, since you're no longer, since you are visible for the foreseeable future, it won't make any difference.

PATRICK: Okay.

MATT: But if you were invisible, the invisibility would take over, they'd have disadvantage against attacking you anyway, but they'd have to know where you were to even try and make an attack, is how it would work.

PATRICK: Okay.

TALIESIN: Just somebody somewhere is dropping the bass.

MATT: Okay. So ending Kerr's turn... Pike feels--

SAM: Oh shit.

MATT: A warm sensation within her chest, a familiar one.

SAM: Oh boy.

MATT: Let's see here.

SAM: What just got dispelled?

LAURA: Probably the feast.

LIAM: Maybe.

LAURA: That's what happened before.

MATT: So that's Kima's turn.

LAURA: And the Beacon of Hope.

MATT: Kima's currently seeing these wraith- like entities start rushing into the room. One two three four five...

TRAVIS: Oh yeah, this is her wheelhouse.

MATT: She--

LAURA: Oh yeah, good thing we brought Kima.

MATT: -- movement-wise can't quite get all the way up to where they are now, but she gets her hammer at the ready, and Kima's going to go ahead and... let's see.

LIAM: Oh, we got three paladins.

MATT: She's going to go ahead and cast Crusader's Mantle on herself.

TRAVIS: What was it? Crusader's Mantle?

MATT: Crusader's Mantle is the ability. While she maintains concentration on it-- actually, you know what? No, I take that back. She's going to cast Aura of Vitality, which means she can use her bonus action to heal an ally within 30 feet for 2d6 damage.

LAURA: Nice.

MATT: Um, so she casts that on herself. She's going to-- seeing you damaged, Grog--

TRAVIS: Yeah!

MATT: -- she's going to use her bonus action to attempt to heal you 2d6, however, your maximum hit points have been lowered, so it has no effect on you, and she realizes this as she reaches out and, "Grog!" This bit of divine energy streaks from her hand, hits you, and seems to just peter out on impact. "Shit." And she steels herself with her weapon, getting ready for the next round of onslaught. Finishing Kima's turn, it is now Allura's turn.

PATRICK: Luckily, though, because of Pike's spell, the damage you didn't heal was maximum.

TRAVIS: Oh, that's good.

LIAM: (laughs)

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: Well that's just math.

LAURA: I didn't follow any of that.

LIAM: Silver lining, silver lining.

TRAVIS: I replied in a positive way because I didn't know any better.

LAURA: (laughs)

TALIESIN: We're probably going to want to destroy those cages, by the way.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Destroy them?

TALIESIN: I think that we're going to get more wraiths.

MARISHA: Just coming out--

LIAM: Did they come out of the cages?

PATRICK: They came out of the corpses in the-- I think there's only one corpse in each cage.

LIAM: I think they're like gauntlet generators and they're just like--

TALIESIN: Quick point of order--

MATT: Yes?

MARISHA: Spawners.

TALIESIN: Is there like corpse soup in those cages, or is it one corpse per cage?

MATT: You can't really see from your perspective this far away.

TALIESIN: Well, fair.

PATRICK: I wondered that same thing.

(all laugh)

MATT: For the sake of paying attention, go ahead and make a perception check.

PATRICK: Okay.

TALIESIN: I'm heading that way anyway, so.

PATRICK: 11-ish.

MATT: 11. It's hard to tell in the low light from the candelabra. It does look like, from the view here, there's at least two corpses in one of the cages. Like a pile. There's one that's slumped forward, but you can see more than two legs.

MARISHA: Total spawn location.

MATT: All right, so for Allura's turn she is going to--

PATRICK: My god, was that the Gauntlet?

MATT: --walk away from this area, Kima's got this, she steps over to this side, knowing that with the dog barking off to the side, that's definitely a sign that the dragon's coming from this direction. She pulls her hood back and she will cast-- she's actually going to hold her action. She's going to begin casting-- what would be a good one for this one? She's going to begin casting Disintegrate once something attempts to move by.

LIAM: Savage.

TRAVIS: Page out of Gilmore's book.

MATT: She's going to hold that as an action. All right, that brings us to Pike's turn.

LAURA: (Pike voice) Yeah! Pike is going to cast--

TRAVIS: (Pike voice) Yeah!

LAURA: (Pike voice) Yeah!

LIAM: (Pike voice) I'm going to--

LAURA: (Pike voice) I'm going to-- Pike's going to cast Spiritual Weapon at level four.

MARISHA: She would totally do that.

LAURA: Right?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LIAM: (Pike voice) In the shape of a--

MATT: She's putting it where?

LAURA: She's putting it right in the middle of the hallway.

MATT: There?

LAURA: (Pike voice) Yeah.

MATT: All righty. Radiant sword appears in the center of the air.

SAM: Right behind me.

MATT: Right behind you, yeah.

SAM: That's disconcerting.

LAURA: And then-- oh no, it's protection, Scanlan.

SAM: Ah, okay.

LAURA: And then she's going to use-- I guess that's only within ten feet.

LIAM: Can she move?

LAURA: She's going to cast Light. Just to create a little bit of better vision. On that pile of rocks in the middle of that.

MATT: Here?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay. So it's now a very bright--

LAURA: Very bright!

MATT: -- area here now in the center of the hallway. All righty.

LAURA: I'm thinking maybe that'll help spot Raishan or something.

SAM: Sure, yeah, yeah, great--

MATT: That ends Pike's turn.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Keyleth, you're up.

MARISHA: Okey-dokey. Whatcha doing?

TALIESIN: I was just trying to see if I could actually get, it was giving me a problem.

MARISHA: To get it to work? Is that like a stalactite?

PATRICK: Yeah.

MARISHA: Interesting. Okay. Keyleth is going to move a couple closer to the wall, that's she's close--

MATT: This wall here?

MARISHA: Yes. Two. Forward a little bit, going towards this tunnel. Other way, other way.

MATT: Other way.

TRAVIS: Taliesin literally has the laser pointer.

MARISHA: Right there's good, that's good. Thank you. He is literally-- yeah. Can I take my bonus action to do a perception check and see if I can sense any faint movements, fog being moved, pebbles being kicked?

MATT: Go for it.

LAURA: Gotta get a natural twenty on that.

MARISHA: 21.

MATT: 21, okay. You can see the fog cloud, there is a heavy swirling in the cloud. Looks like the fog, which is stationary because the magical effect of the spell creates it within a vicinity, the fog itself is (whooshing noises). And occasionally you see what looks to be almost a big gust rapidly right at the outskirts of it.

MARISHA: I got you, bitch. All right. I want to do right overtop of Scanlan's fog cloud, I want to do Faerie Fire. Glitterbomb.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Glitterbomb, yeah.

MARISHA: Glitterbomb.

LAURA: Ugh, so annoying!

TALIESIN: Oh god, it's everywhere.

LAURA: Jesus, we're never going to get it off!

MARISHA: Oh, man. I'm never going to Labyrinth again.

TALIESIN: The next three bathtubs, glitter.

MATT: As you step out of the way, coming towards the fog cloud, you focus it and you begin to bring your fingers across to deliver the incantation of Faerie Fire, and you watch a sudden slow blue spark of energy from inside the fog cloud. Just within, so it's like a little firework in a cloud, and when it happens, your spell fizzles at the tip of your fingers.

MARISHA: She fucking counterspelled me.

SAM: Or legendaried it away.

MARISHA: Or legendaried it away. She's in the fucking cloud, you guys.

SAM: Seems like it.

MARISHA: She's uploaded herself to the cloud.

LIAM: Druid's going country.

MARISHA: Look. Never forget your roots.

TRAVIS: Going country!

TALIESIN: This is why you never upload anything to the cloud.

MATT: That brings us to the top of the round--

MARISHA: Yeah, the cloud could get hacked.

MATT: Vax, you're up.

MARISHA: It's a Black Mirror episode all of a sudden.

LIAM: Uh... shite. Are there still dead things with Groggy?

MATT: Correct, there are two of them flanking him currently.

PATRICK: They're full of piss and vinegar.

LIAM: I'm going to attack them. I'm going to throw, but I'm going to go one dagger at the one above him.

MATT: This one?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: All right.

PATRICK: I think the one on this side is the one that's hurt most.

LIAM: On this side.

PATRICK: Yeah.

LIAM: Okay.

PATRICK: Yeah, that's the one that I roughed up real bad.

LIAM: They were both roughed up real bad.

PATRICK: No, I hit one of them twice.

MATT: He attacked one, one is untouched, one is flickering.

LIAM: So the one that's fucked up I will attack.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: So I'll throw one at that. That is good. That is a 31.

MATT: 31 hits.

PATRICK: Jeez.

TRAVIS: Pretty sure.

LIAM: Yep. And I'll throw-- yeah, I'll throw another one at that one.

MATT: Same one? The damaged one?

LIAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Don't you want to see how much damage--

LIAM: That is 18. Can I wait and see how much damage I do?

MATT: Yeah, you can roll damage.

LIAM: Oh, then yeah, then I'll just attack one at a time, I'll save that roll, though, for the next. So that is two plus eight is ten. Plus...

LAURA: Is there anything standing next to it?

PATRICK: Yeah, a bunch of us.

LIAM: Oh, Grog is, so it's flanked!

LAURA: So it's Sneak Attack!

LIAM: So it's Sneak Attack. Thanks, buddy.

LAURA: (whispering) I'm your sister.

LIAM: You're also my buddy. 16.

MARISHA: You ain't my guy, friend.

TALIESIN: You ain't my friend.

LIAM: I mean, it's got to be gone.

LAURA: Whoa.

PATRICK: A bajillionty damage.

MATT: Yeah. It screams as its shadowed form is sent to join the rest of the shadows in the room, unmoving, cold, and without life or undeath.

LIAM: Okay, then the next two--

MATT: Go for it.

LIAM: The first one gets 18.

MATT: 18 hits. Vex, you're up next, by the way.

LIAM: And then the second one is a 17.

MATT: Also hits.

LIAM: Okay, so there it goes. I'm going to roll this one. That's three plus eight is 11 plus the psychic damage has gone missing--

MARISHA: Oh, fuck!

LIAM: Where is everything, where's my dice? 18 for the first.

MATT: 18 damage.

LIAM: Eight for the second.

MATT: Eight damage?

TRAVIS: Help me!

MATT: Eight damage for the second one, without the attack modifier, right?

LIAM: Without the attack?

MATT: So you don't add your dex, you don't add your dex bonus for the offhand attack.

LIAM: Oh, sorry, so, well if I rolled a two, okay. So then just two.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: So 18 plus two, 20.

MATT: Okay. So both of the daggers, after destroying the one, slam into it, and the magical effect of them manages to cause the form to shimmer slightly with the impact as the daggers pass through and then vanish on the opposite side of the room, returning to your side. The creature seems to have taken a few hits, but it's still strong and still swirling around Grog as Grog's trying to find a way to get a bead on it so he can smack it with the hammer.

LIAM: Okay. And I see that Grog is in pretty good hands with Kerrek, so I'm going to use my movement, which is hasted, to slide around this way and crouch ten feet in front of Keyleth. There.

PATRICK: I think that's Keyleth you're moving. Oh no, I'm sorry.

LIAM: Ahead of Keyleth. Between Raishan and her.

MATT: Right there?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Cool. All right. Vex, you're up.

SAM: We're just in a nice line.

LAURA: Okay, I'm going to-- I saw Keyleth say that she was in fog, so can I come around that corner and see her?

MATT: Make a perception check.

MARISHA: Come on, come on, dragon sense and shit.

LIAM: Smell that dragon.

LIAM and TRAVIS: Yeah!

LAURA: 31.

MARISHA: Yeah!

MATT: You can see within the fog, as difficult as it is, a winged form swirling in there. So you can make your attacks, it's still at a disadvantage because it's invisible, but you can actually attack her right now, yes.

LAURA: Okay, I'm going to attack her, and I'm going to try to do Bramble Shot.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: With the Blazing Bowstring.

MATT: Okay. Before you do that, you still have Hunter's Mark up.

LAURA: Oh yeah!

MATT: It's concentration.

LAURA: Okay-- Bramble Shot isn't concentration, though. Can I shift it over to her?

MATT: You can, technically, yeah.

TRAVIS: Didn't your Hunter's Mark just disappear because she wasn't there?

LAURA: No, no, it was up.

MATT: It's still up. It's concentration, you just have to choose another target, use your bonus action to shift it over.

MARISHA: Because the illusion isn't considered a target?

LAURA: So once I-- it's like up. So once I knew where she was I could shift it.

LIAM: So sorry, since I'm new with Hunter's Mark, later I can take my floating Hunter's Mark and bring it over to Raishan?

MATT: Eventually, once you have a bead on where she is, yes.

LIAM: Sweet.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: So now you can take your attack. Go for it.

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: Big money, no whammies, come on.

LIAM: That's good.

LAURA: Okay, that's good, that's a-- what is that? 30. Or something.

LIAM: 32.

LAURA: 32.

MATT: Rolling with disadvantage, right?

LAURA: That was-- okay, that's--

LIAM: That's okay.

LAURA: 26?

MATT: 26, uh. 26 hits, yeah.

LAURA: Okay. So that's a Bramble Shot.

TRAVIS: Just hits, or hits?

MATT: It hits.

LAURA: Bramble Shot with the Blazing Bowstring.

MATT: All right, so go ahead and roll damage. And then let me know what the saving throw is.

LAURA: Oh, wait. Let me (Scottish accent) get my d8s out here.

SAM: Wow, good Indian accent.

LAURA: Thank you.

(all laugh)

TRAVIS: She was at 24 last time.

LAURA: 28 plus two lightning damage plus... six for Hunter's Mark.

TRAVIS: 34.

LAURA: 34. Plus the blazing bowstring is nine. So 43.

TRAVIS: 43.

LAURA: Points of damage.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: And then she has to do a strength saving throw of--

MATT: Well, first a concentration check. She succeeds, yeah, okay. And then what's the--

LAURA: And then a strength saving throw.

MATT: That is a nine.

LAURA: Oh, so she's restrained!

MATT: She is.

MARISHA: Shut up! Shut up.

SAM: She's still invisible, though. She's still invisible, we can't see her.

MARISHA: You badass!

LAURA: But she's restrained in the fog.

MARISHA: You badass!

MATT: You hear a (growl and impact).

(All yell and cheer.)

MATT: You watch as some of the fog billows out. You can still vaguely make out the form, as she (struggling sounds).

LAURA: All right. I'm going to pull out a sleep arrow and do my second attack with a sleep arrow through the Blazing Bowstring.

MATT: Okay, go for it. Invisible gives you disadvantage, but because she is currently restrained, that gives you advantage, so it's just a straight roll.

LAURA: Just straight? 26.

MATT: That hits.

LIAM: You will be a golden god if this works.

LAURA: 14 plus one lightning plus two for sneak attack... so four more. And then, oh, and then a sleep arrow.

MATT: What's the total damage?

TRAVIS: 18.

MATT: 18.

LAURA: Thank you.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Thanks, you math genius, you.

MARISHA: Do those arrows work like the spell?

MATT: She maintains concentration. So for the purposes of the spell...

TRAVIS: (heavy breathing)

MARISHA: I know, I know.

MATT: Roll 5d8.

LAURA: 5d8?

MARISHA: Oh, I think you have to beat her hit points.

LIAM: Higher than her hit points, yeah.

MATT: Yep.

LIAM: Well, that's--

MARISHA: That's going to be tough.

LIAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: But she's diseased. And whatnot.

TRAVIS: She got that Hep C, y'all.

(all laugh)

LAURA: 18?

MATT: 18.

LIAM: No way.

MATT: You fire the arrow, but you still hear thrashing about.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: It does not seem to be--

LAURA: Well, it was worth a try.

TALIESIN: It was valiant.

MATT: All right. That ends--

LAURA: Oh, and then I'm going to use the rest of my move to duck around that corner and back up.

MATT: Duck around this corner here?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: That's as far as you can get right there.

LAURA: I want to be behind that stalactite or whatever--

MATT: There?

LAURA: Yeah. Mite. Stalagmite.

MATT: Yeah, like mite.

LIAM: You might what?

MATT: All right, cool.

LAURA: I might hide behind that stalagmite.

MATT: That ends your turn. Percy, you're up.

TALIESIN: Did I see this go down?

MATT: You're over here watching the egg off in the distance, and you watch her fire a couple arrows and then rush around the corner, and you hear the slam into the ground. Though you can see the fog moving around and there's thrashing. If you wanted to try and attack something, you'd have to roll a perception check.

TALIESIN: All right. I'm making my way along the wall anyway in that direction, so while I'm walking I'm going to see if anything looks worth shooting at over there.

MATT: Okay, go for it.

TALIESIN: Perception check. Hey! Let's call that a 25.

MATT: 25, you can just make out the outline of a form thrashing within the fog cloud, so yes, I would allow you to take attacks, with disadvantage.

TALIESIN: I'm going to cast Hex.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: And she now has disadvantage on strength saving throws.

MATT: (laughs) Okay.

PATRICK: (laughs) Nice.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm being a dick.

MARISHA: Strength saving throws, hell yeah.

TALIESIN: So I'm going to burn a grit to cancel out the disadvantage.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Better mark that like a clever person. And I'm just going to try and take a shot and see what happens.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: So this is with Bad News. That's a 21.

MATT: 21? Vanishes into the mist. Does not seem to have made an impact.

TRAVIS: I think it's 23.

LAURA: Really?

TALIESIN: One more shot. Oh, yeah. 29.

MATT: 29 does hit. That's with disadvantage?

TALIESIN: Yeah. No, that's with a grit to cancel out the disadvantage.

MATT: Oh, gotcha. Then yeah, that does hit.

TALIESIN: So, okay, I'm going to use that, since it hit I'm also going to shove all six of my charges through that shot as well.

MATT: Okay, then.

TALIESIN: For fun.

PATRICK: Actually, does he have disadvantage because she's bound? Didn't those cancel out when she attacked?

LAURA: She's invisible, though.

PATRICK: Invisible but restrained.

MATT: Right, so you would've had... so it would've been just a straight attack.

LIAM: So you don't need the grit.

LAURA: So you don't need to burn the grit, that's great.

TALIESIN: I'll get that back later, okay.

MATT: Good call, thank you.

TALIESIN: So. Thank you, thank you, that's going to make life better later. So that's--

MATT: Just roll damage and then pump 6d6 lightning damage from your cloak into the hit.

LAURA: Holy moly!

TALIESIN: So that's-- oh god, I got to get more dice, I didn't even think this through.

MARISHA: Do you need d6s? I've got a line.

TALIESIN: Sure.

MARISHA: Here's some d6s.

TALIESIN: I just need three more.

MARISHA: One two-three.

TRAVIS: Here's all of them.

MARISHA: Here's all of them.

TALIESIN: So 6d6 plus... d12s plus... one more 1d6 because there's some necro there.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Thank you. Okay. That'll do. Here we go.

LIAM: Necro.

TALIESIN: Oh wow. Okay. I'm going to make that the necro because that's fun.

MARISHA: That's hot!

TALIESIN: Yeah, that's pretty good. I wish I had your power to do that crazy. All right, let's see how we did.

LAURA: C'mon Percival!

TALIESIN: That's... hahaha.

(all laugh)

TRAVIS: The most random line-fillers.

TALIESIN: 23 points of normal damage.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: 23 points of normal damage, six points of necrotic damage.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: And 25 points of lightning damage.

MATT: Nice, that's a total of 54 points of damage.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah, that felt good.

MATT: She still makes her save for her maintaining concentration.

TALIESIN: Wow, all right.

MARISHA: How?

MATT: Dragons have really high constitution.

TALIESIN: I'm going to keep moving my maximum move in that direction along the wall.

MATT: Dragons have high constitution. It's plus 14 modifier.

TALIESIN: If I can move any further I will, but that's--

MATT: You can move, from where you were? No, that's as far as you can go, unfortunately, yeah.

TALIESIN: That's fine. I just call over the headpiece, "She's down and vulnerable!"

MATT: All right. As you finish your turn, you watch as the fog shifts and you hear (footsteps) and a voice retorts out, "Not as down and not as vulnerable as you think."

TALIESIN: Oh, shit.

MATT: Backs up into the fog.

MARISHA: Oh, jeez.

MATT: You just barely see, Scanlan, as it steps away, this form vanish into-- well, you said you were holding your action for something?

SAM: I was not holding my action. I thought about it.

MATT: That's right, that's right. So you watch the figure back away into the fog ever-so-slightly going (soft chanting).

LAURA: She's casting something.

TALIESIN: Did she-- even with disadvantage on her strength check on that one?

MATT: Hm? Well, she can't move anywhere, because she's restrained.

LAURA: Oh, she is still restrained?

MATT: Correct. She can't move.

MARISHA: She's switching form?

LAURA: Oh.

SAM: She's still restrained?

MATT: She's still restrained. For the item, what does it say? Is it a saving throw at the end of the turn, or is it has to use an action to break free?

LAURA: Let me find out, because let's see. You wrote it, I mean.

MATT: I know, but I haven't looked at it in a while.

LAURA: The restrained target can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns.

MATT: Okay, cool. So. So yes.

LAURA: Oh, and it's a DC of 17. Not 16. I have it written down wrong.

MATT: Okay, that's fine, she still rolled poorly for that one. As the face pulls back into the mist, you feel this shaking within the room as the ceilings of the cavern begin to shift and form into what appear to be small rifts.

SAM: Oh shit. What's all that?

TRAVIS: The air conditioning?

SAM: Yeah, that's what it is. Central.

MARISHA: HVAC.

LAURA: Oh no. Oh no!

MATT: You hear the sound of rocketing stone and flame being pulled from a realm or plane beyond the material--

MARISHA: She's doing a Meteor Swarm. She's doing a Meteor Swarm!

LIAM: Final Fantasy.

LAURA: There's nowhere to take cover, is there?

MARISHA: Hold onto your butts.

LAURA: Hold onto your knickers!

MATT: One... two...

MARISHA: Yeah, that's fair.

MATT: Actually, it would be two... three... four. All of you.

TALIESIN: Four?

MARISHA: One day, I'll have that spell.

TALIESIN: Four?

LAURA: Scanlan even got hit? Scanlan got hit in there?

SAM: I was on the edge of one of them.

LAURA: Ah, balls.

MATT: Yep, everybody got hit. So. I need everybody... Go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw, please.

TRAVIS: Nobody can counter that or anything, hey?

LIAM: Natural 20!

PATRICK: Grog, you get a plus three from me.

TRAVIS: Oh, nice.

PATRICK: Who else is next to me there? Is she close enough to be within my aura?

MATT: Who, Kima?

PATRICK: Yes.

MATT: Kima has her own aura, thankfully.

PATRICK: Okay.

MATT: She's a paladin as well.

PATRICK: Am I close enough to get hers?

MATT: So it's ten feet, you guys are not close enough to affect each other, no. So you do not get to receive each other's bonus, unfortunately. All right. So. Scanlan.

SAM: Eight.

MATT: (laughs) Eight. Okay. You suffer... that's 118 points of damage.

(Incredulous laughter.)

MATT: Bludgeoning--

SAM: I'm immune to meteors.

(all laugh)

MATT: It's 20d6 fire damage and 20d6 bludgeoning damage, and half as much on half. So yeah, so that's 118 points--

SAM: Tell me this: do I have-- how many hit points do I have, because when she dispelled the Hero's Feast, do I lose those temporary hit points?

MATT: You do.

SAM: Okay. So... got it.

MARISHA: So you're unconscious, aren't you?

SAM: No.

TALIESIN: No.

MARISHA: No?

MATT: He's a hardy little gnome, man.

LAURA: Wow, that's impressive.

MATT: Percy.

TALIESIN: 18.

MATT: 18. You suffer 118 points of damage.

TALIESIN: 19, I'm sorry, 19.

MATT: Still suffer it.

TALIESIN: Okay. That's fine. 118.

SAM: When she dispelled things, did I also lose my Pike advantages things?

LAURA: The Beacon of Hope?

SAM: Beacon of Hope?

LAURA: Or was it just the one?

MATT: No. No, the only thing she dispelled was a single specific effect, which was the Hero's Feast.

MARISHA: So you have to pick an effect.

SAM: So you have to tell what you're dispelling? Okay.

MATT: You have to pick a singular effect.

MARISHA: Okay. That's good.

MATT: Yeah. And Raishan is well aware that you guys prepare with a Hero's Feast.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: Keyleth.

MARISHA: 24.

MATT: 24. You suffer 59 points of damage.

MARISHA: Okay, that's half. That's half. Nothing better. Don't you guys wish you were me?

TRAVIS: Well, yeah, yes.

TALIESIN: Really, we do. That's genuinely a thing.

MARISHA: 54? 59?

MATT: 59 points.

MARISHA: Okay.

TALIESIN: I'm alive. Nice.

MATT: Oof.

LAURA: This is like instant run away (laughs). One spell she does.

MATT: Kima is already down, unconscious.

LAURA: No, Kima!

MATT: Sorry, Allura is down, Kima is still up.

PATRICK: Christ.

MARISHA: I'm at 57 hit points.

MATT: Kerrek.

TRAVIS: She started to cast.

PATRICK: Just no, not even close.

LAURA: That's right, wasn't she saving her action?

TRAVIS: Allura, wasn't she preparing Disintegrate?

SAM: Yeah, until she saw something.

MATT: She never saw something come through. So that--

SAM: Is that like a hand-grenade where you fall and--

TRAVIS: And it goes ting-ting-ting (explosion).

MATT: Not so much.

LAURA: I'm disintegrated.

PATRICK: Six.

MATT: Six. Kerrek, you suffer 118 points of damage.

PATRICK: Yes I do.

SAM: What's he down--

MATT: Kerrek is unconscious.

PATRICK: I am unconscious.

SAM: I mean, how far down?

LIAM: There is no negative, he's just down.

LAURA: No, no, it's not like that.

SAM: It's not like past--

LIAM: You have to surpass your total--

SAM: I know, that's what I'm asking.

PATRICK: I'm not that bad, not that bad.

TALIESIN: The world's cruel.

MATT: All right. Next up is--

LIAM: Natural 20.

MATT: So zero damage to Vax.

LIAM: Hip hop hippity hop.

LAURA: 22.

PATRICK: You have Evasion?

LIAM: Yep.

MATT: 22, you suffer 59 points of damage.

PATRICK: I got so used to playing a rogue, nothing can stick on you.

MATT: The DC is 22 for the spell.

LAURA: Oh my god.

MARISHA: 22, wow.

LAURA: Trinket got three. But he is, he is resistant to magical bludgeoning damage.

SAM: Is that true?

LAURA: Or bludgeoning damage, rather.

TALIESIN: Wait a minute. Is this magical damage?

MATT: Yes?

TALIESIN: Does Cabal's absorb it?

MATT: What's it say for Cabal?

MARISHA: Oh, come on.

TALIESIN: You keep going, I'll let you know, I'm going to read.

SAM: You have advantage.

MATT: So Trinket takes...

LIAM: A skillion hit points.

MATT: So Trinket failed the save, Trinket would actually take 85 points of damage.

LAURA: Oh, he's unconscious and in my necklace. Good job, Trinket. He was within 100 feet of me, right?

MATT: Yes, he was. He was over here.

LAURA: I'm glad I moved back. (gasps) Would he have been further than 100 feet if I hadn't moved back?

MATT: No, he'd have to be pretty far to be further than 100 feet from you.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Grog?

TRAVIS: 11.

MATT: 11. You take 118 points of damage.

TRAVIS: Now, is it-- do I halve the bludgeoning because of raging?

MATT: You know what? I believe you do, yes. So you actually suffer the same, eighty--

LAURA: 85, you said.

MATT: 85.

LAURA: Okay, and Pike got a nine.

SAM: This is the big one.

MATT: Pike takes 118 points of damage.

LAURA: But she's fire resistant.

MATT: Right, so that's true. So she takes 87 points of damage.

LAURA: All right.

MARISHA: She still up?

LAURA: She's still up.

TALIESIN: I'll wait until you guys are done. I'll wait until they're done and then I'll pop in with my reaction.

TRAVIS: That's the single most powerful attack we've ever had hit, right?

PATRICK: Actually, I'm really glad to hear that, because if I'm going to go out--

TRAVIS: You might as well go out with the ace, man.

TALIESIN: Literally in a hail of bullets.

TRAVIS: That had some stank on it.

TALIESIN: I'm going to activate-- I'm going to use my reaction to activate Cabal's Ruin. I'm going to absorb the spell and the damage I take is halved and the cloak gains the number of charges equal to the spell's level, the level of the triggering shot.

MATT: Yes, it does.

LAURA: Wow, that is a clutch--

LIAM: Yeah, Perce!

LAURA: That is major.

MATT: Which, it's a ninth-level spell.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I don't get all nine, do I, because-- does the spell hold nine charges?

MATT: The cloak holds six charges. However, as you absorb the spell, the cloak flares out and actually grows an additional six inches in length. The inside begins to sparkle with electric energy as it pulls one of the meteors into the cloak itself. It arcs inward and vanishes into the side. It bursts behind you, and the damage is taken, but the cloak now is shimmering with a very vibrant but continuous spark of arcane energy.

LAURA: My eyes are like--

SAM: It awoke, it awoke!

MATT: Pass this over, please.

LAURA: You got upgraded!

(All sing.)

TALIESIN: Oh shit. What! Okay, so.

SAM: 'Exalted', it says. Not just awoken. Exalted.

MARISHA: It has ten charges in it.

LAURA: Oh my god. I'm so jealous! What do I do?

TALIESIN: So I'm at nine, the damage is still halved?

LAURA: What if I die without upgrading my bow?

MATT: The damage is still halved, yeah. So you took a total of 59 points of damage.

TALIESIN: 59 points of damage, okay. So I'm going to add 59 hitpoints to that.

LIAM: De Rolo just went full peacock. He suddenly has a giant cowboy hat on.

SAM: It says anyone who wears the exalted Cabal's Ruin has permanently oiled skin.

(all laugh)

MATT: It's a full paragraph descriptor of it on the actual item.

TALIESIN: I'm back at 81 points, so that's nice. And I have nine charges in the cloak.

MATT: Yes you do.

TALIESIN: Okay, that's awesome.

SAM: You should've used that shit.

TALIESIN: It's never come up.

MATT: All right. Now, Raishan, trying-- so by the way, I don't think it's possible for you to have spells up to even make the concentration saving throw on this, because of the sheer amount of damage you took. Make a concentration saving throw, Percy? Yeah, Kima lost hers.

SAM: Did Pike lose hers?

MATT: Pike-- roll a constitution saving throw for Pike.

MARISHA: You have to do over the damage you did.

TALIESIN: That's 16 is my concentration save.

MATT: Yeah, so your--

TALIESIN: My Hex--

MATT: Your Hex is gone.

LIAM: Am I good with my Hunter's Mark?

MATT: You didn't take any damage, so you're fine.

TALIESIN: I was busy.

LAURA: You're fine, you're fucking fine. I can't believe you haven't taken any damage.

MATT: You haven't tagged her with it yet, but you've still got it up.

LAURA: I mean, you'd better save all of us when we all die when you're flying around like--

LIAM: Our relationship is very complicated.

LAURA: I guess just like walking around.

MATT: What was Pike's saving throw?

LAURA: No, she didn't make it, she got five.

MATT: All right, so yeah, her spell is gone as well.

LAURA: Great.

MATT: And Vex, I need you to make your concentration saving throw.

TALIESIN: Oh shit, okay.

MATT: Constitution.

LAURA: Nope.

MATT: Lose your Hunter's Mark as well. All righty.

TRAVIS: Yeah, get rid of that one now.

MATT: And Raishan's going to make a strength saving throw--

SAM: Ooh. Ooh.

MATT: That is a 19, so she is no longer restrained.

MARISHA: Fucking fuck.

SAM: Did the dog get hit?

MATT: Oh, the dog got hit.

TRAVIS: No! Not McGruff!

MATT: As the impact hits you and you're like--

SAM: Can I roll for the dog?

MATT: It won't even matter.

SAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: He is smoked.

MATT: The dog takes enough damage to immediately revert back to the onyx figure that it was, but the impact sends it careening through the room like a pinball.

SAM: Every time we use this dog that's what happens.

PATRICK: Imagine his life.

(all laugh)

PATRICK: Just moments of like-- (explosions)

TRAVIS: How's it going? (barking, explosion)

SAM: I think we've only brought him out twice and he's been blown up both times.

LAURA: He's been exploded, yeah. It's so sad.

PATRICK: It's worse if you imagine how a dog always greets you when you come home.

LAURA: He's just so happy.

PATRICK: Imagine-- that's how he comes out, it's like, hey! Hey!

MARISHA: I'm so happy to see you!

MATT: (explosion)

LAURA: No, he's a bit of a snooty dog, actually.

PATRICK: Oh, okay.

TALIESIN: Kind of a snooty dog.

LIAM: We need a scene with the dog and Trinket commiserating over a bowl of--

TRAVIS: Earl Grey.

LIAM: Constantly getting blasted up.

MARISHA: Kibbles and bits for you too?

MATT: All righty. So, ending Raishan's turn. Scanlan, you're up.

SAM: Oh man, that smarted.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

SAM: Um. Okay, is Kerrek around me?

MATT: Kerrek is way back here, so he's about 100 feet from you.

SAM: 100 feet.

MATT: Yes, roughly.

PATRICK: There's a paladin over there that'll probably-- hopefully--

SAM: Well, I can't reach you anyway, so.

MATT: Allura's down, and everyone around you is pretty--

SAM: Oh, can I see Allura from where I am?

MATT: Allura is right over here, so yeah, you can see Allura.

MARISHA: So the only people who've gone down are Allura and Kerrek?

MATT: Kerrek. Everyone else seems to still be standing.

MARISHA: Okay.

LAURA: Barely, but standing.

TALIESIN: The wraiths didn't take any damage, did they?

MATT: The one wraith that was there... yes, actually, that wraith was destroyed. Thank you for the reminder.

TALIESIN: Silver lining.

MARISHA: Silver lining.

TRAVIS: Second one is still there, right?

LAURA: The other one was--

MATT: The other one just got destroyed by the Meteor Swarm.

LAURA: And Thordak is just even more watermelon.

MATT: Yeah. It is just-- the room already had old carnage on it, now it has new carnage.

TALIESIN: Fresh paint.

MATT: It looks kind of like the Butcher in Diablo I, when you get to his room and it's just covered.

LIAM: It's everything he deserves.

MATT: All right. So, Scanlan, what are you doing?

SAM: I'm going to heal Allura.

MATT: Okay, you'll have to get a little closer if you're doing-- is it 30 or 60 feet for your--

SAM: It's 30.

MATT: 30? So you'll have to be a little closer.

SAM: Well then, I'll walk that way as much as I can, actually.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Yeah, right there.

MATT: As you pull back--

MARISHA: What? No!

TALIESIN: No.

SAM: Sure.

TRAVIS: High five? High five me, bro?

MATT: Yeah, high five you with the claw. Raishan takes an attack of opportunity on you, her invisible form right at the edge of that fog cloud. Oh, that is a 15.

SAM: Yeah, that hits. Unless I Cutting Words it.

MATT: That's up to you.

MARISHA: Yeah yeah yeah! Do the thing, do the thing.

SAM: Shit. I'll Cutting Words it. Sorry, Allura. Oh wait, no, that's not a bonus action--

MATT: That's your reaction.

SAM: --that's a reaction. So yes, I will Cutting Words. I will yell at the claw I see coming out of the cloud of smoke, I will say, "You're so dumb, you get your yearly checkup from Dr. Dranzel."

(Weak laughter.)

MATT: Roll a d12.

TRAVIS: That was like some six-week-old orange juice.

SAM: Two.

MATT: That reduces it to 13.

SAM: That does not hit.

MATT: So you hear this voice go, "Wait, who?"

(all laugh)

MATT: From the fog, and this wisp of wind just misses you. A claw just catches the back of a hair. But yeah, you move fine and you are within range now.

SAM: Jesus Christ. Okay, so I will do a Healing Word on Allura.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: I will sing to her, (singing) "Scanlan singing in the dead of night, take your broken bones and learn to fly..." That's all I got.

MARISHA: I love that song.

MATT: (singing) "You were only waiting to get up and cast a spell."

SAM: Yes! Do I roll?

MATT: Yes, you roll for that.

SAM: Yes. d4, right?

MATT: d4 plus six.

SAM: Four! That's ten!

MATT: All right. She is at ten hit points. Conscious.

SAM: Double-dig.

MATT: Allura now (gasps). "Oh dear."

LAURA: I look down at her like--

MATT: (nervous laugh)

SAM: I will also boopadeeboopboop (raspberry sounds). Yeah. So I still have an action, right?

MATT: You do.

SAM: And when I saw the form rise up in the cloud, it did not move away, it just rose up.

MATT: Correct, yeah. It was right at the cusp of the fog.

SAM: So I have a vicinity. I saw a claw, I saw something like--

MATT: Kind of, yeah.

SAM: I can take a shot.

MATT: If you want to.

SAM: Yeah, I'm going to take a shot.

MATT: What're you doing?

SAM: I am going to cast-- let's do Bigby's Hand at level six.

MATT: Okay!

SAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah, dude. Yeah!

SAM: Sure.

TRAVIS: Commitment.

MATT: Right at the outside of the radius? Where the dragon is?

SAM: I mean, it's probably got to punch into the cloud a little bit to get--

MATT: Yeah, but it's right, it's right at the cusp of where you saw the dragon's form moving.

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: Okay. And so at level six? So for that-- and you're using the punching?

SAM: Yes, please.

MATT: All righty. So go ahead and roll a d20, adding your spell attack modifier.

SAM: That was a cocked roll, but I'll take it, because I'm a man of honor, and it did not work. 13.

MATT: 13, no, that misses.

TRAVIS: Was it cocked?

LAURA: But if it was cocked, then it doesn't count.

SAM: Didn't actually roll. It hit the side of my box.

MATT: It's still a roll, it's fine. So the fist-- whoosh-- into the fog, just manages to move past the form, does not actually hit the side of it.

SAM: Balls. All right.

MATT: Does not hit balls either. But Bigby's fist is up and around.

SAM: Okay, good.

MATT: All right, that ends your turn.

PATRICK: Oh, what about the radiant weapon, did that-- was that a concentration spell?

LAURA: It was.

PATRICK: Oh.

LAURA: Oh wait, no, it's not a concentration. No.

MATT: Yeah, that's still around.

LAURA: Spiritual Weapon's still up?

MATT: When it comes to Pike's turn, Pike can still do that.

PATRICK: Okay.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Good looking out.

TRAVIS: (singing) Stay alive...

MATT: That's going to be the end of your turn. Raishan is going to use two legendary actions to--

TALIESIN: Burn 'em, baby.

MARISHA: How many does she have?

TALIESIN: Too many.

MATT: Four per turn.

MARISHA: Four per turn? Jeez.

MATT: Is going to go ahead and cast Disintegrate at Pike.

LAURA: What? Disintegrate? What'd he say?

LIAM: Disintegrate toward Pike.

LAURA: No!

TALIESIN: No.

LAURA: No.

SAM: Is that bad?

LAURA: Please tell me that's a natural one that you just rolled and you're taking a picture of it.

MARISHA: I know, right? Yeah.

MATT: I'm taking a picture of it right now.

TRAVIS: Throw the laser pointer over here.

TALIESIN: He somehow rolled a 46 and they're trying to figure out what to do about it.

TRAVIS: Laser pointer!

TALIESIN: Laser pointer?

LIAM: Pass it.

TALIESIN: Okay, fine.

MATT: I'm checking to make sure this is how the spell works.

TRAVIS: Blind him. Blind him!

MATT: This is going to be really funny. Don't blind me, I'm trying to help.

TRAVIS: Take the shot!

TALIESIN: I have the shot.

MATT: Oh, has to make a dexterity saving throw, so that roll wouldn't matter. I rolled a one, but it doesn't matter because it's not an attack. Dexterity saving throw on Pike, please.

LIAM: Fuck.

LAURA: I don't want to roll it, it's too much pressure.

MARISHA: Can we just pretend that one was like a nat 20 for Pike?

LIAM: I'll roll it, one of us has to roll it. Here's what it is, this is what it is. It's a 14.

LAURA: 14?

MATT: Total 14? That's not enough.

PATRICK: Is she by anyone with the paladin radius? We got a bunch of pallies here.

LAURA: She's not by any of the paladins.

MATT: Uh, you know what? Actually, Allura is conscious on the ground. Allura is going to attempt to counterspell that. That is a sixth-level spell. 'Cause Allura's going to try and get that out at the last minute. So.

LAURA: With Disintegrate, does the body go away? I don't understand.

LIAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it ain't good.

TALIESIN: Will the armor retort that or no?

SAM: Yeah, the armor brings her back to one point, doesn't it?

MATT: Okay, fourth or higher... DC equals 10 plus the spell level. Allura's spell modifier is five, so-- That is an eight. That's not enough. She rolled an eight plus five, that's not enough to counter the spell. Okay, so that goes to... Pike suffers, so that's 72 points of force damage.

LAURA: Well, she's knocked unconscious, but the armor should bring her back.

MATT: Pike, as the beam hits her, you watch her flesh begin to turn to dust as the fingers begin to disperse... as a burst of flame from the armor flares outward, bringing her back to her feet at whatever the effect of the armor is, so she gets up.

SAM: Is it five?

LIAM: She gets like one hit point, I think.

TRAVIS: What's the effect of the armor?

LAURA: The effect of the armor--

LIAM: She's up, she's up. She's not dead.

LAURA: Brings her back to five hit points.

MATT: I had forgotten she had that.

LAURA: And she's on her feet.

MATT: So she's on her feet.

LAURA: Is-- no, Raishan's not within 15 feet of her, is she?

MATT: No.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: Okay, she's not dust.

MATT: She's not dust. Okay. That brings us to--

SAM: (laughs) Oh, Jesus.

LAURA: I can't, if Ashley's not here, you can't kill her when she's not here.

MATT: Grog, you're up.

SAM: She's not dead, she's walking around.

MATT: She's not-- I'm acting like she would!

MARISHA: That would be the worst fucking phone call, Matt.

MATT: I know!

LAURA: If Ashley dies when she's not here--

MATT: She's also the cleric, that's exactly what Raishan would do! Grog, you're up.

TRAVIS: I take out the cask of ale and I start drinking.

(all laugh)

TRAVIS: No. Now that I don't have any more wraiths, I'm going to run towards this wall if I can. This one.

MATT: This one over here?

TRAVIS: Yeah, right there.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: 50 feet, and I'll leap the rest, just to get up to the--

MATT: That's as far as you can get, there.

TRAVIS: Yeah. And that is--

MATT: So go ahead and roll your athletics check to leap.

TRAVIS: 22.

MATT: Yeah, that's fine. So you can leap 20 feet. Yeah, Mr. Badger, you're gone, you are scattered. All righty.

TRAVIS: Oh, I can throw!

MATT: Well, you have to roll a perception check to see if you can see the invisible form in there.

TRAVIS: Oh, this'll go well.

LAURA: Natural 20.

TRAVIS: Nope.

LAURA: Damn.

SAM: Oh, when Bigby's Hand went at rest, it just started to just-- yeah.

MATT: Just pointing.

(all laugh)

MATT: Here! Perfect.

TRAVIS: That is a 16.

MATT: Okay. I'll say between that roll and the Bigby's Hand pointing at where the dragon is, I'll let you make your attacks, but they're at disadvantage.

TRAVIS: Awesome. Well, I'll make 'em Reckless, so I'll zero them out. Can I throw the dwarven thrower?

MATT: Yes you can.

TRAVIS: Okay. One roll. 21.

MATT: Nope. The hammer just disappears into the fog and returns back to your grasp.

TRAVIS: That's better. 31.

MATT: That does hit.

TRAVIS: 18 points of damage.

MATT: 18 points of damage?

TRAVIS: Oh, thrown.

MATT: Yeah, plus the--

TRAVIS: 20.

MATT: 20. Okay. Constitution saving throw, yeah, makes the concentration one. Are you Frenzied or not?

TRAVIS: I would like to go into a Frenzied Rage.

MATT: Yeah, Frenzied Rage, so make your bonus attack strike now.

SAM: Was that a saving throw?

MATT: Yeah, it has to maintain concentration on Greater Invisibility every time it takes damage.

SAM: Technically, disadvantage because of Cutting Words.

MATT: That's true. And that would be a 19. Still makes it, yeah.

SAM: Damn.

MATT: It needs to make more damage.

TRAVIS: 28.

MATT: 28 damage.

TRAVIS: No, no, 28 to hit on the third throw.

MATT: Oh, that does hit, yeah.

TRAVIS: 22 points of damage.

MATT: 22. Saving throw. Yeah, it succeeds, so it maintains invisibility. All right. Ending your turn, Grog?

TRAVIS: Yeah, it does.

PATRICK: Does the Cutting Word-- how long does that last?

SAM: Just the next saving throw.

PATRICK: The next saving throw.

SAM: That's it.

PATRICK: That's cool.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: Words are mean, man.

PATRICK: Words hurt.

SAM: Well, that's not from words, that's from the sword.

TALIESIN: That's the sword?

SAM: From my Mythcarver.

TALIESIN: Oh, shit.

MATT: At the end of your turn, Grog, she's going to use her other two legendary actions here to go ahead and cast Cone of Cold.

TRAVIS: Not that shit again, I didn't do well on that last time.

SAM: Cone of Cold? Again. I die.

MATT: So that's everybody there. I need Scanlan, Vex, Pike, Vax, Grog, and Keyleth, and Allura, to all make constitution saving throws. Constitution, yes.

TRAVIS: (nervous laughter)

PATRICK: Not with your plus nine?

TRAVIS: No no no.

MATT: Keyleth?

MARISHA: 13.

MATT: 13. You take 42 points of cold damage.

TRAVIS: How much?

MATT: 42.

TRAVIS: Cool.

MARISHA: Is that the full damage, or did I--

MATT: That's the full damage.

TALIESIN: You're up.

MARISHA: I'm walking.

MATT: Vax.

LIAM: 16.

MATT: 16, you take 42 points of cold damage. Vex?

LAURA: 12.

MATT: 12, you take 42 points of cold damage.

TRAVIS: Seven.

PATRICK: Don't you have Evasion?

LIAM: It's a constitution saving throw.

SAM: Am I in there?

MATT: You are as well. What'd you roll?

SAM: 15.

MATT: 42 points of cold damage.

LAURA: 20 for Pike.

MATT: Pike takes 42 points of cold damage.

SAM: Shit.

MATT: So Pike is unconscious. Who else is unconscious?

SAM: I am unconscious.

MARISHA: Fuck.

MATT: You are unconscious. Bigby's Hand is gone.

TRAVIS: Grab that popcorn, this movie's interesting.

TALIESIN: Nothing I have is useful.

SAM: (belches) Oh, I forgot we're on TV.

(all laugh)

LAURA: What did you do? Did you just burp really gross?

SAM: Burped, yeah.

MATT: Allura is unconscious again.

MARISHA: This isn't TV, this is the internet.

TRAVIS: At least people can't smell it.

MARISHA: The wild west.

MATT: So Allura's unconscious, Vex, you still up?

LAURA: I'm still up.

MARISHA: Allura's down again?

LAURA: Yep.

MATT: Allura's down again, yeah, she got hit.

LAURA: Pike's down.

MATT: Pike's down.

MARISHA: Fucking--

MATT: All right. That is all of her legendary actions this turn. Ending Grog's turn, all righty. That brings us to Kerrek. I need you to go ahead and roll a death saving throw.

PATRICK: I've been down this road before.

TRAVIS: (said extremely quickly) Don't you get advantage on those death saving throws?

PATRICK: (laughs) What was that?

MATT: Unfortunately, the spell that did that faded.

SAM: I think he's auctioning something over there.

TRAVIS: (auctioneer's babble)

PATRICK: Now, is that just a straight-up--

LIAM: Straight roll.

MATT: Just a straight d20.

LIAM: Seven.

PATRICK: Straight d20. Seven.

MATT: So that's one fail. So you've failed one death saving throw.

PATRICK: Well, you could call that a failure... it really depends on what I'm trying to accomplish here.

MARISHA: Don't call it a comeback.

SAM: In the Hindu faith, you would welcome it.

PATRICK: Yes, you know. If what I'm trying to accomplish is a lot of drama, I consider that a great success in a roll.

MATT: All right, so Kima, as it's now Kima's turn, sees you on the ground, convulsing from the blast of the impact, the giant crater in the ground where the meteors struck, and hearing these blasts of arcane energy around the other side, she has practically no vision of what's happening right now. All she sees is you down, and Grog run off, and she says, "C'mon, my bearded friend." Runs up and is going to go ahead and hit you with Lay on Hands for... let's see, for Kima she can do up to-- she's going to give you 30 hit points.

PATRICK: Oh, that's nice.

MATT: As you come to consciousness, you see the scarred halfling paladin in her golden armor and half-cocked grin. "Come on, we still have work to do." Puts her hand down to try and lift you up.

PATRICK: Okay.

MATT: We'll say for the sake of the fun of it, bonus action pulls you to your feet.

PATRICK: Okay, thank you.

MATT: All righty. That ends Kima's turn.

TRAVIS: Shit.

MATT: Allura has to make a death saving throw.

TRAVIS: No!

MATT: With a seven, that is a failure.

TRAVIS: Fuck!

MARISHA: Fuck!

MATT: She loses a death saving throw. That brings us to Pike. Pike I need to make roll a death saving throw.

LIAM: Do you want to do it? I'll do it.

TRAVIS: I could do it.

LIAM: Go for it.

TRAVIS: It's a five.

TALIESIN: God damn it.

MATT: Pike fails a death saving throw.

LAURA: Okay. Okay. Nobody else just willy-nilly make some rolls, okay.

MATT: Keyleth, it's your turn.

MARISHA: (nervous laughter) That's nice.

SAM: Do I need to make a death saving throw? No.

MATT: When it gets to your turn, you do.

SAM: Okay.

LIAM: New campaign next week.

(all laugh)

MARISHA: Shut your fucking face right fucking now. Fuck me. Okay.

TRAVIS: Who's got the This Is A Bad Dream spell?

MARISHA: Okay.

TALIESIN: The Dallas? I don't have a Dallas left.

MATT: There is a spell for that. It's called Wish.

LAURA: Do we have any wishes?

SAM: Don't move, just heal.

MARISHA: Laser pointer, laser pointer. Just shut up, laser pointer.

MATT: You going to try and draw a card?

TALIESIN: Travis.

MARISHA: Anybody laser pointer!

TRAVIS: Oh, sorry.

(Impressed noises.)

MATT: That's my girl.

MARISHA: Who's-- shhh-- who's that?

MATT: That is the water fountain.

(all laugh)

MARISHA: All right, fuck that water fountain! All right.

TALIESIN: I've been wondering this whole time.

TRAVIS: Who's that? It's a fountain.

MARISHA: Who's that?

TALIESIN: It was very lifelike.

MARISHA: Okay. Keyleth is very not okay, comes around the corner, and I'm going to do, with my staff, and I'm going to pray to Melora and be like, "I know you hate this bitch as much as I do," and use my staff to do Firestorm right where I know she is.

MATT: Over here? All righty.

MARISHA: Just boof-boof-boof-boof--

MATT: Sure.

SAM: What's the radius?

MARISHA: I get to pick.

SAM: Oh, thank god.

MATT: So you send fire sneaking all through there--

MARISHA: All of that, all through this area, just that whole tunnel gets lit up.

MATT: I'll say for the purposes of the Fog spell versus a seventh-level fire spell and the item, the fog cloud is just burned off, it is done, it is gone. All right, so roll that 7d10 fire damage. Saving throw... that is a failed save. She will use her first legendary resistance.

LAURA: First?

MARISHA: First?

MATT: To ignore that.

TALIESIN: Burn 'em up.

MARISHA: 7d10?

MATT: 7d10 fire damage.

MARISHA: Five... do you have two more?

TALIESIN: I do.

LAURA: Did she gain them all back? Did she heal all the way? I mean, what's going on?

MATT: Yeah, she rested, she got 'em all back. You guys rested a whole night to get your shit back, so did she.

LAURA: Well, fine.

MATT: It's like enemies can do that too.

LAURA: That's stupid.

MATT: Don't forget your staff's ability--

MARISHA: Reroll ones!

MATT: Yep.

MARISHA: Which I have one that I will reroll, and it's a one. Do I get to reroll it again?

MATT: So you get to reroll it, yeah.

MARISHA: Fuck yeah.

TALIESIN: There are no ones here.

MARISHA: That's better.

TALIESIN: That's much better.

MARISHA: Nine... 12...

LAURA: I like how red your face is getting.

MARISHA: Is it? Am I hot? I'm pale. I'm a redhead, so I show everything that happens. It's true. 17...

SAM: I don't think that came out right.

MARISHA: Don't worry about it. I'm distracted. God damn it. Now I'm distracted out of my math. 17 plus four is 21, correct? Plus another five is 26 plus another four is 30, plus another four is 34. 34 damage.

MATT: 34 damage. 17 points of fire damage.

MARISHA: Did you get hit?

SAM: No, that's half of 34.

TALIESIN: No, that's half.

MARISHA: Oh, that's right. She saved.

MATT: So yeah, it succeeds.

MARISHA: Does it being a staff of Melora do anything?

MATT: No, other than the mention of the name caused the sound of growling in the distance. "Why won't you all just stay down and die with dignity?"

LAURA: We don't do anything with dignity.

(all laugh)

SAM: Scanlan's lifeless corpse has a pool of urine around it.

(all laugh)

MATT: All righty. Is that the end of your turn, Keyleth? Are you going to move forward?

MARISHA: I'm going to-- can I see Pike?

MATT: Pike is right there next to you, yeah.

MARISHA: Okay, I'm going to reach around the corner and do a Healing Word.

MATT: All right, Healing Word.

MARISHA: What, is it because I said "reach around"?

LAURA: No, no.

MATT: Not at all.

MARISHA: Jesus! Everything I say. Everything I say.

MATT: Level one, level two? What do you do?

MARISHA: Level one. Because I'm pale and I just show everything.

MATT: d4 plus six.

MARISHA: Nine.

MATT: Nine. So Pike heals nine hit points and is conscious.

TALIESIN: Clapping from the void.

TRAVIS: It's because of that saving throw.

PATRICK: And that resets the death saving throw?

TALIESIN: Yeah, everything pops back.

MATT: All right. Bringing us back up to the top, Vax, you're up.

LIAM: Now, with the boots of haste, one of the extra actions has to be for an attack, right? I couldn't do--

MATT: Correct. Well, it's attack, disengage, or dash, I think. It should say on the card.

LIAM: Yeah, it says the extra action can be used to attack, dash, disengage, or hide. Shite. So I'm going to... balls. I'm going to go to the gnome on the ground and I'm going to cast Lay on Hands--

LAURA: Which one?

LIAM: Pike is up, isn't she?

MATT: Pike is conscious.

LIAM: Conscious is what I mean. To Scanlan.

MATT: There you go.

LIAM: And one hit point, just to get you up.

MATT: You're conscious.

SAM: Is this my urine or someone else's?

PATRICK: Someone peed on me while I was dead!

(all laugh)

TRAVIS: (laughing) Is this my urine or someone else's?

SAM: I don't know which is worse.

TALIESIN: Only one way to find out. Does it taste like anything you've had recently?

SAM: Asparagus. That's me.

MATT: Oh, god. All right.

LIAM: I'm going to use a little more movement to move to the same spot that Bigby's was before it was gone. Maybe into the-- the cloud's gone, right?

MATT: Cloud's gone, it got burned off in the Firestorm.

LIAM: Maybe I'll even go ten more feet forward--

MATT: Okay, you slam into the physical form.

LIAM: Vow of Enmity.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: As a bonus action.

MATT: All righty.

LIAM: And I will use the extra action to disengage and get the fuck out.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Whoa!

MARISHA: What's that? What's that? What'd you do?

MATT: Back up how far?

LIAM: I'm going to go that way. Back towards Scanlan.

MATT: This way? Okay.

LIAM: I should have 60 feet of movement hasted.

MATT: Yes, and as you back up--

LIAM: Disengage.

MATT: Yeah, disengage, yeah.

PATRICK: Nicely done.

LIAM: I will actually go along the wall.

MATT: So you'll be like over here.

LIAM: Yeah, yeah.

MATT: Okay. All right, that ends your turn. Vex, you're up.

LAURA: Okay. I'm going to... Jesus Christ. I'm going to run over to Allura and I'm going to cast 3rd-level Cure Wounds on her.

MATT: Okay. Healing her--

LAURA: 3d8 plus three. Fifteen points.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: And then... 30 feet, no. Fuck! That's my action, isn't it?

MATT: Mm-hm.

LAURA: I guess as a bonus action I'm going to... hide? I'm such a loser.

MATT: So you're going to move over here and hide?

LAURA: Yeah? I guess?

MATT: Okay, so go ahead and roll a stealth check.

LAURA: Okay, let me see if I have any health potions left, though. I have a regular healing potion left.

MATT: Go for it.

LAURA: So I'm going to take that.

MATT: It's 2d4 plus two.

LAURA: Ooh! Eight points healed.

MATT: All right. Percy, you're up.

LAURA: And a stealth check.

MATT: Stealth check, yes.

TALIESIN: Do I still have any theory of where she is, or do I have to roll another perception check?

MATT: I mean, just where she was previously standing.

PATRICK: He just bumped into something.

LIAM: Yeah, you would've seen me go--

TALIESIN: So yeah, again, as I'm scootching further and further back along the wall, I'm going to pull out the Animus box and take a few shots in there to see what happens.

MATT: Okay, disadvantage on all these strikes because she is invisible.

TALIESIN: Because she is invisible.

LIAM: Get it nerd, get it.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm going to burn a grit for the first one to neutralize that.

LAURA: Can I not have gone back behind the stalagmite, I want to go around the corner. Yeah, like that.

MATT: That's as far as you can get, unfortunately.

LAURA: Okay. That's fine. I rolled a 16.

TALIESIN: So, shot number one. Natural 20.

MATT: Is this with disadvantage, or did you use the grit point?

TALIESIN: I used the grit point to cancel out the disadvantage.

MATT: You did, all right. All right. Roll some damage.

TALIESIN: And that will not affect the Cabal's Ruin damage I was going to add to it, because that's a different thing, right?

MATT: Um.

TALIESIN: Because that seems unfair because I can add that later.

MATT: Yeah, adding that to a crit is a little intense. I'd say no.

TALIESIN: Okay, I'm just going to add the standard damage. I'm not going to crit the Cabal's Ruin damage, but I'm adding--

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: The dragon doesn't blow up?

TALIESIN: That's a thing.

MATT: The benefit is you can choose to apply it after the hit.

TALIESIN: After the hit.

MATT: The downside is you can't add it to the crit.

TALIESIN: Totally worth it.

MATT: So you never waste it.

TALIESIN: No. So that's, let's see, that's six points of psychic damage.

MATT: All righty.

TALIESIN: And 18 points of normal damage.

MATT: So 24.

TALIESIN: And then I'm going to add three points of Cabal's Ruin, which is--

SAM: Whoa!

TALIESIN: 14 points of lightning damage.

MATT: 38.

TALIESIN: Yep.

SAM: Does all that double because it was a crit?

TALIESIN: No. No, that is doubled.

MATT: That's 38 points to that first hit. She's going to make a concentration check.

TALIESIN: And I also get my grit point back because I critted.

MATT: It's true.

LAURA: I think it's time for some Advil.

(all laugh)

LAURA: Critical Role, brought to you by Advil.

MATT: Fails the concentration check on the invisibility.

TALIESIN: Yes!

MATT: Is going to spend another legendary resistance to succeed it.

MARISHA: So she's spent two?

MATT: She's spent two.

LAURA: That's good, that's good.

TALIESIN: That's fine. Now for my second shot, I'm going to spend a second point to-- oh, she's not visible, she's--

MATT: Correct, she maintained concentration.

SAM: Did she blink into visibility?

MATT: No.

TALIESIN: So I still have disadvantage so I still need to--

MATT: You do.

TALIESIN: Okay, that's fine.

MATT: Are you doing another grit point to cancel it?

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: Not quite as good, but still good. 27.

MATT: 27 hits.

TALIESIN: So that's, ooh, that's nice. That's 17 points of normal damage.

MATT: All righty.

TALIESIN: Two points of psychic damage.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: And ten points of lightning damage.

MATT: All righty.

TALIESIN: For my next shot--

MATT: Natural 20 on the save, so she saves concentration. It's maintained.

TALIESIN: I'm doing the same thing again, so I'm at two grit points.

MARISHA: Kill that resistance, kill that legendary resistance.

TALIESIN: I'm trying.

MARISHA: Come on, Percy.

TALIESIN: Not going to hit, that's going to be 19 to hit. That doesn't hit.

MATT: No.

TALIESIN: So that one misses. I still have three Cabal's Ruin, though, so that's nice. I'm going to use my bonus action for a heal surge, for my little healing, my little pick-me-up.

MATT: Great.

TALIESIN: So that's going to give me back 16 points of healing points, so that's 16 to me, so that's... 105, I'm at 105. And I'm going to keep just scooting back along the wall. I want to keep where I'm shooting in my line of sight, but I just want to get there. Yeah, and still on the wall.

MATT: Okay, gotcha. That ends your turn, Percy?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: All righty.

MARISHA: Good turn, man, good turn.

TALIESIN: Thank you, thank you, thank you.

MATT: It is now Raishan's turn.

SAM: Oh balls.

MATT: Let's see here.

TALIESIN: Look, every time I have a reaction I can do something. That's crazy. This is mean.

PATRICK: Can I see that?

MATT: Uh... hm. Raishan is fed up with this whole down-then-up, down-then-up yo-yoing.

TRAVIS: Good, flee, do it again!

MATT: Raishan, Scanlan, as you're on the ground, just getting your bearings back to consciousness, you watch as your head is across the ground, the rocks kind of (impact sound), and something seems to hit the ground right next to you. Raishan's going to do a full round of just physical attacks on you.

SAM: Great. It won't take very much since I've got the one hit point. But maybe my 14 AC will protect me.

MATT: You are prone, so attack rolls on you have advantage within five feet, which is good, because the first attack was a one. And an 18 plus... so the first hit, which is its bite, hits you for 13 plus eight--

SAM: I mean, I'm unconscious now.

TALIESIN: Do you have any reactions you can do?

SAM: I don't know. I can't remember when the last time I used a reaction was. Was it this round or the round before?

MATT: Round before.

LAURA: So you could.

MATT: Well, your turn's next, so you have used it... no, you're right, it was, it has been since the last time. So yeah. It was an 18 to hit.

LIAM: This could be the difference between--

MARISHA: Yeah, life and death.

LIAM: Because one or two death saves, three death saves.

SAM: All right.

LAURA: Because a full round is four attacks? Or three attacks?

MATT: For Raishan? You don't know.

LAURA: I bet it's four attacks.

LIAM: This is down to the wire, dude.

LAURA: This could be it, Scanlan!

MARISHA: Yeah, do it, do it. Do all you can.

SAM: Okay, I'll say to Raishan this time, "You so dumb, when thieves stole your horse, you chased them down and said, 'You forgot the saddle!'"

(all laugh)

MATT: He utters, with a weak breath on the floor of the necromancer's sanctum.

LAURA: These could be Scanlan's final words.

MATT: Go ahead and roll a d12, please.

MARISHA: Come on, Scanlan.

SAM: Six.

MATT: So it's 18 minus six is a 12.

(All cheer.)

MATT: So whoosh.

MARISHA: You did it with your shitty retort.

SAM: Now just three more attacks to dodge and I'll be okay.

LIAM: That was the bite, wasn't it?

MATT: There's two more claw attacks.

LAURA: Raishan gets four attacks, so if you would've failed that, your instant death save would've failed.

MATT: So that's 21 to hit.

SAM: Oh, that'll hit, sure.

MATT: So with that you take 4d6 plus eight.

TALIESIN: Let's just call it.

MATT: Yeah, you're unconscious. And the final claw attack has advantage, which hits you, and it's a crit. So you lose two death saving throws.

TALIESIN: We're going to have to deal with that very, very quickly.

TRAVIS: Where are you? Can you point to him on the map?

SAM: I'm the pink one.

MATT: Right there. And the impact seems to be coming from this area, here.

SAM: So wait, they can see my body sort of like moving?

MATT: Yeah, getting hit on the ground.

MARISHA: We can see him getting beat the shit out of.

MATT: Getting mangled by something that's not currently there. And then (whooshing sounds), the wind kicks up as something seems to shift the air.

LAURA: Can anybody feel it flying past?

MATT: You can feel it move in this direction.

LAURA: Great.

MATT: With that, yeah, I can just make it through without an attack of opportunity--

LIAM: Yeah, can I do an attack of opportunity as it flies by?

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'm right there too.

MATT: You sense it not far enough from you to be able to attack something with an attack of opportunity.

LIAM: All right.

MATT: That ends Raishan's turn. Scanlan. Death saving throw.

LAURA: Oh my god, oh my god.

SAM: Three.

MATT: And with that, the breath escapes Scanlan's lungs, the smile across his face, as life leaves his form.

SAM: This time I died with a bad joke and piss all over me.

(All laughing.)

MATT: He died as he lived: hard or after a bad joke with piss all over him. All right. That ends Scanlan's turn. Grog, you're up.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Uh. Dragon moved. Scanlan dead. (raspberry) Did I detect which direction el dragon flew in?

MATT: Roll a perception check.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Sure. Three.

MATT: You're not entirely certain. You just saw something (whoosh) through the air in this vicinity.

TRAVIS: I am just going to throw a hammer in that direction.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: In there.

MATT: Roll with disadvantage.

TRAVIS: Yup. Can I make it reckless?

MATT: Sure.

TRAVIS: One roll? Does that zero out the disadvantage?

MATT: Yep.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: She has a higher AC because she's technically heavily obscured.

TRAVIS: Right. 27.

MATT: 27? 27 just hits. You got lucky and just flung it out in the middle of nowhere, because of the AC bonus of her being heavily obscured. So yeah, go ahead and roll damage.

TRAVIS: Nice. That's good.

PATRICK: Now you have a better idea of where she is.

TRAVIS: Yeah, can I keep track of where it hit her--

LIAM: Can we all see the hammer fly through the air?

MATT: You can see the hammer impact somewhere, and you watch it somewhere right up here.

LAURA: Great.

MATT: Like, right above you.

TRAVIS: 23.

MATT: 23 damage.

TRAVIS: 23 damage.

MATT: Okay. Maintains concentration. Hammer comes back.

TRAVIS: Can I be thrilled that I hit something that I didn't see and smash the Titanstone Knuckles together to enlarge?

MATT: Sure. With that, your hammer grows in size as well.

TRAVIS: Can I try and throw the hammer again?

MATT: You can.

TRAVIS: At the same general area. One roll. Unless I know where she is now, but I doubt that.

MATT: I mean, you're still at disadvantage on the attacks. But you're going reckless, so it's all just straight hits.

TRAVIS: That's a one, so I'm, no.

MATT: On both? With reckless?

TRAVIS: I thought I couldn't see her, so it was disadvantage, reckless advantage, so just a single--

MATT: Oh right, yeah. Misses past, breaks into the rock and stone off the wall.

TRAVIS: That's better. 31.

MATT: That hits.

TRAVIS: Okay. 18... 26... plus four for enlarged... 25. 25 damage.

MATT: 25 damage.

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, I'm freaking out right now.

MATT: She fails her saving throw. Concentration... no, she wants to maintain that spell, so that's her last legendary resistance.

MARISHA: Yeah, Grog! Yeah!

MATT: But she maintains concentration on the invisibility. So that was 25.

TRAVIS: 25, I think.

MATT: Yeah, I got it. So that's the end of your turn, Grog?

TRAVIS: Yes, it is.

MATT: Okay. You can move if you'd like. You just threw, it's all you did.

TRAVIS: Oh, right. Yeah, I'm going to move in the direction that she flew.

MATT: Something hits your head as you get about there.

TRAVIS: Ah! I get angry again.

MATT: All right, that ends your turn, Grog. At the... hm. Yeah. At the end of your turn...

TRAVIS: Not a word. Not a word.

(Nervous laughing.)

MATT: It's going to go ahead and--

SAM: Surrender.

LAURA: She surrenders.

MATT: It's too close now. Yeah, just, we're done!

LIAM: Sorry, sorry, I'm sorry, so sorry.

PATRICK: Did we mention that this is all subduing damage?

MATT: (laughs)

PATRICK: So glad you got that joke.

MATT: Ah, subdual damage. Back in the day.

TALIESIN: It was a kinder, gentler world.

MATT: I know. She's not going to use that ability yet. Instead is going to... oh, everyone's kind of moving around her.

TALIESIN: I'd give money for a popcorn grenade right now.

MATT: Okay, you know? Is going to use two legendary actions to use a wing attack.

TRAVIS: Two legendary actions.

MATT: So the wings start beating furiously in the air. I need Vax, Kima, Grog, and Vex to make a dexterity saving throw.

TRAVIS: Minus two, because, yeah. But advantage.

MATT: Wow. Allura actually made it.

SAM: Vex. (coughs) Inspiration.

LAURA: Doesn't matter.

SAM: What?

MATT: That is a shitty roll. All right, so.

LIAM: 27.

MATT: 27, so.

LIAM: Zero.

MATT: You take no damage. Vex? One! You take 13 points of bludgeoning damage and you are knocked prone.

SAM: Are you still alive?

LAURA: I'm still alive, you guys!

SAM: Wow.

LAURA: Still standing. I'm not standing. Still--

MATT: Allura succeeds and takes no damage. Grog, what'd you roll?

TRAVIS: 17.

MATT: 17. Grog, you also, you take 13 points of bludgeoning damage and you're knocked prone.

TRAVIS: Halved, halved.

MATT: Yes.

TRAVIS: Six.

LAURA: Did you say 21 points of damage?

MATT: 13.

LAURA: Oh, that's it? 13.

MATT: Yep. And the dragon moves half its flying speed.

LIAM: Is it close, ah.

MATT: Yeah, just moves away at--

TALIESIN: Do I get an attack of opportunity?

MATT: People who are not prone, yes. So Vax, you get to make an attack of opportunity with disadvantage.

LIAM: Oh, okay.

LAURA: Oh, damn it. Sucks that you were knocked prone.

TRAVIS: I know.

LIAM: I'm going to use one Luck.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: What does that mean, if I use luck? Disadvantage, and then I rolled a six and--

MATT: Your Vow of Enmity gives it advantage, though, doesn't it?

LIAM: Say again?

MATT: Your Vow of Enmity?

LIAM: That's right, it does. So that cancels out. So the first one-- but I'm still using Luck, so the first one was a six, the second one was a 31.

MATT: 31 hits. Yeah.

LAURA: Yay!

TRAVIS: Hit him!

SAM: Her.

LAURA: Hit her!

TRAVIS: Her!

LIAM: Nine plus psychic damage... ten. 25.

MATT: 25 points of damage.

PATRICK: One more.

TRAVIS: Kill all the other dice.

MATT: Yeah, maintains concentration and pulls away.

TALIESIN: Do I get an attack of opportunity?

MATT: No. She hasn't moved past you.

TALIESIN: She has not moved past me.

MATT: Nope. All right. That ends that turn. Kerrek, you're up.

PATRICK: I'm assuming-- yeah, I've got to be hearing that over on that side.

MATT: Yeah, you're hearing all the impacts, the slashing, the battle on this side.

PATRICK: Okay. Boy, 30 move. I can dash, right?

MATT: You can, yeah, as an action, so you can do twice your movement.

PATRICK: Oh, so you just-- it's a movement, and then I burn my action to do another movement?

MATT: Correct, yeah.

PATRICK: How far over does... how far over does 30 get me there?

MATT: 30 would just get around the corner here.

PATRICK: Can I get 25 and just-- actually, I don't know she's invisible. So I go, dragon's coming around the corner, I want to hang at the corner and then effectively wait to attack.

MATT: So you're holding your action in case something shows up that you can hit.

PATRICK: Yep. Well, actually, I'm going to be around this corner, waiting for it to come into this.

MATT: Right there? Okay.

PATRICK: Gosh, I think... I think that's all I got.

MATT: Okay. All right, that ends Kerrek's turn. Let's see here. Kima sees you doing this and is going to go ahead and back you up right there. Sorry, Percy.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: Spiderclimb makes you so easy to knock over. Kima, on her turn... is going to use Aura of Vitality again on herself and, utilizing that as a bonus action, is going to heal you for 2d6, Kerrek. So-- oh, not bad. 11 hit points. All righty. That ends Kima's turn. Allura. Allura, who is barely conscious with 15 hit points, is going to get to her feet. Perception check... natural 20.

MARISHA: Allura is bae!

(all laugh)

MATT: And is going to-- no, not third-level. She's going to go ahead and cast a fifth-level Dispel Magic.

MARISHA: Yeah yeah yeah.

MATT: Which would-- yeah, it's just dispelled. And with that.

LAURA: Finally!

MATT: Finally revealed on the field.

LAURA: And she's just like covered in blood, she's just so beat-up.

MARISHA: Yeah, she's barely hanging on.

LIAM: She's looking pretty rough.

MARISHA: She's got a single tear coming from her eye.

LAURA: Oh god, she's like right there.

TALIESIN: (nervous exclamation)

LIAM: Look out, Perce.

TALIESIN: I get the idea.

LIAM: Put a counterweight.

MATT: Further over, just appears right in front of your face, Percival.

LAURA: Just her butt.

MATT: (menacing growl, wing-sounds) And then Allura, using the rest of her movement, is going to here, here, here, and then actually Misty Step over here next to Keyleth to get out of the area. (breathing hard) "Keyleth, you have to finish this."

MARISHA: Okay?!

MATT: That's going to end Allura's turn. Pike is up.

LAURA: Pike. Okay.

MARISHA: Is she still unconscious?

LAURA: No, she's up. She's going to stand up and, if she uses her sprinter's boots, can she run over to Scanlan and cast Revivify? Would she be able to get to him?

MATT: She would just get to his side, yeah.

LAURA: Okay, then she's going to cast Revivify on Scanlan.

MATT: All right, so. Go ahead and roll a d20 and add her wisdom modifier.

TALIESIN: Do you also have inspiration still?

LAURA: Pike didn't have it.

TALIESIN: No, Pike, oh-- okay.

MATT: He died twice, the DC is 12.

LAURA: So...

LIAM: Plus her wisdom, whatever you roll plus the wisdom.

MATT: Yeah, so d20 plus five.

LAURA: (small voice) Nine.

MATT: Nine, okay.

TRAVIS: What?

MATT: So the Revivify fails. Reaches out and doesn't hit.

LAURA: God fucking damn it!

MATT: You're still dead. You're not permanently dead, but you cannot be revived for the remainder of this battle. You can only use a ritual to return, and the DC does go up to a 13.

TALIESIN: Okay, okay.

SAM: Ritual of return?

TALIESIN: It's the last-ditch.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: Currently, you get-- Pike touches and releases the energy of the spell into Scanlan's body, and you feel the necrotic essence of this necromancer's sanctum, the very dark nature of this place, is preventing the connection between the spirit and the body of Scanlan at the moment. The spell having no effect. Pike still has a bonus action if she'd like.

LAURA: She's going to throw Sacred Flame at Raishan.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: And that's at 17th level, which she's at now, right?

MATT: Sacred Flame is an action.

LAURA: It is.

MATT: Needs to be a bonus action, unfortunately.

LAURA: Balls. Great. Tight. She-- can she do like a heal--

MATT: She can do a Healing Word.

LAURA: Healing Word, tight. She's going to do that on herself, then.

MATT: Level two?

LAURA: Sure.

MATT: All right, so 2d4 plus five.

LAURA: 11.

MATT: 11. All righty, so that heals her up.

PATRICK: God. If I can just fucking get close enough to stick one on her.

TALIESIN: I'm going to get stupid, so.

MARISHA: I know, samesies.

MATT: All right, that ends Pike's turn. Keyleth, you're up.

TALIESIN: Well. Things have gotten simpler.

MARISHA: Okay. Hearing Allura's words and seeing Scanlan down, can I get a movement to where I can get over here and see her? Keep going, keep going.

MATT: You can see her there.

MARISHA: I can see her there?

MATT: Yes.

MARISHA: I'm assuming she's within 150 feet of me.

MATT: Yes.

MARISHA: This is kind of like a hail mary. Oh, jesus fuck. All right. I am going to cast... (laughs) my one 8th-level spell, and I'm going to attempt to Feeblemind her.

PATRICK: Oh, she's used up all her legendary saves.

MARISHA: Exactly. Exactly.

MATT: All righty. And it is an intelligence saving throw--

LAURA: Oh, she's really smart.

MARISHA: Yes, which she's really good at, but we could get lucky.

MATT: Four plus four. Rolled a four. She has an intelligence modifier of four, and it is not one of her saving throws.

MARISHA: Shut up!

MATT: Her intelligence and charisma become one, cannot cast spells, cannot activate magical items.

PATRICK: Up top, up top!

MARISHA: Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!

TRAVIS: Did that really happen? Did that work?

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: It's permanent, right? For 30 days.

MARISHA: She can keep saving from it.

MATT: Yeah, at the end of every 30 days she can repeat the saving throw.

(Cheers and yelling.)

TRAVIS: Oh my god, she fell, she fell off.

TALIESIN: Holy fuck. That looks painful.

LAURA: Are you okay?

LIAM: Marisha, what a beautiful moment! Get it, get it!

TALIESIN: We've still got problems.

MARISHA: We still have problems.

MATT: As you reach out, you watch as the tendrils of nature's energy begin to spill out of the cracks in the vicinity.

MARISHA: And I just say, "Melora, come on, girl! Come on, Melora!"

MATT: You watch as Raishan chuckles. One of the tendrils lashes out and wraps around the throat. And as they wrap and begin to strengthen around the neck, pouring into the cracks of the flesh where the disease currently holds her throat, her brow begins to sink, the jaw hangs open, and slobber begins to drip from her jaw as Raishan just, as opposed to speaking, now does a guttural (heavy breaths and growling).

LIAM: Poetic justice, motherfucker!

TRAVIS: Still got a dragon. Still got a dragon.

MARISHA: She can still attack. "Grog! Grog, get her down!" Is all I can scream before I just, my mind is blown.

MATT: Okay, so is that the end of your turn?

MARISHA: And then, panicking--

MATT: You still have a bonus action, right?

MARISHA: I do.

MATT: And technically ten more feet of movement.

MARISHA: Uh-huh. I'm going to go back towards Allura. Huh?

MATT: All these spells. Cannot use them now.

LIAM: That's right, Matt! That's right.

MARISHA: (yells) Okay. I'm going to go--

LAURA: That's karma for trying to kill Pike while she's not here.

MARISHA: Towards Allura, and heal the fuck out of myself.

TRAVIS: You killed one of our gnomes!

MATT: I didn't, the dragon did.

MARISHA: I going to do a-- Jesus, I can't speak. I'm going to do a third-level Cure Wounds on myself--

MATT: You can only do up to second level because you cast an eighth-level.

MARISHA: I'm sorry. I'm going to do.

MATT: It's a Healing Word, bonus action.

MARISHA: Oh right, it's a bonus action. I'm sorry. I will do a second-level Healing Word.

MATT: All right. 2d4 plus six.

LIAM: Wow. Wow.

TRAVIS: Wow.

MATT: That brings us to the top. Vax, you're up.

LIAM: I'm just going to unload on her.

MATT: Except for, at the end of your turn, actually, going to go ahead and use a legendary action to do a tail attack against you, Percy.

TALIESIN: Do I get a reaction against that?

MATT: A reaction?

TALIESIN: I can't react to her attack. Okay, she's just going to do a legendary attack against me.

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: I mean. That is 23 to hit.

TALIESIN: Oh, that hits.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Keyleth is at 28 hit points.

MATT: You take 21 points of bludgeoning damage. All right. Now, what are you doing, Vax?

LIAM: I'm unloading, dagger-dagger-dagger.

MATT: Go for it.

LIAM: At advantage on all of it. And can I do-- I've got two spells left, so can I do Smite and Smite? Because it just says on melee attacks, it doesn't say how many a round or anything. I don't know, I've never tried to do it.

MATT: No, on each attack you can do Smite, that's fine.

LIAM: All right, so. First attack is-- hits, it's 32. Second attack--

MATT: With a melee weapon attack.

LIAM: Oh, okay.

MATT: So you have to be up next to her.

LIAM: Well, let's just say I Whisper onto her neck.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: He's whispering sweet nothings.

TALIESIN: Into her neck?

MARISHA: Into her neck.

LAURA: Her feeble little mind.

MARISHA: Into her feeble mind.

TALIESIN: It's called a hickey.

LIAM: So that's the first attack, and I get Smite. Second attack is a 27.

MATT: That hits.

LIAM: I'm just going to do dagger-dagger, actually.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: And the first attack--

MATT: Neither of these are sharpshooter because they're melee.

LIAM: That's all right. I didn't ask for that. So that's one plus eight is nine, plus the psychic damage makes it 12, plus Smite is... 22, plus sneakies. Yes, yes, yes. (counting) 53 is the first attack.

MATT: 53 points of damage.

TRAVIS: Come on, come on.

LAURA: Come on!

LIAM: Second attack is also getting, okay, so one, just one, okay. Plus five and... eight. All right. And I'm going to use my bonus action to disengage and just leap away from her and just tumble-crash to the ground.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Does she still have an attack of opportunity against disengagement, or did that legendary action--

MATT: No, disengage doesn't have to. Make an acrobatics check, though.

LIAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: Well, I'm just curious because I'm going to have a problem in a moment.

LIAM: 25.

MATT: 25, you land on both feet without an issue.

MARISHA: I got really excited and forgot to roll the damage that Feeblemind does. Which is 4d6 psychic damage.

MATT: Oh. You did.

MARISHA: I just got real excited that it worked. I'm sorry.

TRAVIS: You fell off a bench!

LAURA: You're going to have a big ol' bump on the back of your head.

MATT: Roll 4d6. Go for it.

MARISHA: Okay. It'll be fine. The adrenaline-- I don't feel it right now. 4d6.

MATT: 4d6.

LIAM: And I have 60 of movement, so leaping off and rolling, does that use it all up, or can I move against the wall? Just keep going after I disengage from her?

MATT: You can move against the wall and get there.

LIAM: Thanks. Tuck and roll.

TALIESIN: Technically, wasn't she flanked, too?

LIAM: I already get advantage.

MARISHA: 13 points of psychic damage.

MATT: No, because you were-- how much?

MARISHA: 13.

MATT: 13? All right.

LIAM: I got the paladin eyes on her.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: All righty. That ends your turn. All right, at the end of her turn she's going to use her last legendary action to attack Percy once more. That is a 27 to hit.

TALIESIN: Oh, yeah.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: She's just whaling on you.

TALIESIN: I'm the only thing within reach.

MATT: 23 points of bludgeoning damage.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MARISHA: You're doing okay.

LAURA: Jeez, how are you?

PATRICK: You're pretty good.

TALIESIN: I'm fine.

LAURA: Oh yeah, he was in the hundreds.

TALIESIN: 23 points... 61 right now. I'm at 61. Not wonderful but, you know.

LIAM: That is the most perfect, poetic moment.

MARISHA: It's like you and Thordak, man.

LIAM: Could not have been better.

MATT: All right. Vex, you're up.

LAURA: Okay. Using disengage, can you run past them with disengage?

MATT: Yeah, essentially disengage, you go into combat and then you can leave combat without getting an attack of opportunity on you.

LAURA: Okay, but I'm already in range of her.

MATT: You are just outside of her range, technically.

LAURA: Oh, really?

MATT: Yeah, her reach-- actually, with the tail? No, but she's up in the air. I'll say you're just out of the range of the tail.

LAURA: Okay. How far away, if I ran past her, would I be able to get? If I ran to the other side of her.

MATT: You can get just to the side of Kerrek.

LAURA: Okay, then I'm just going to back up.

MATT: Okay, so half your movement there to get up from prone, so you can move fifteen more-- you've got three more squares you can move.

LAURA: I'm just going to back up into that-- dink dink dink--

MATT: To there?

LAURA: Yeah, and I'm going to shoot her.

MATT: Go for it.

LAURA: Yeah, I already used blazing bowstring.

MATT: That Feeblemind.

LAURA: Okay. 17.

MATT: 17 does not hit, no. Or the arrow hits and it just splinters across the outside of her body.

LAURA: Oh my god. I'm just doomed today. 18.

MATT: 18. The second arrow does manage to strike the side of the shoulder, and then the arrow actually breaks against the dragon's hide and scales. That's going to end your turn. You still have a bonus action if you want to do something else.

LAURA: I'm going to use-- well, I didn't use disengage.

MATT: You didn't use disengage.

LAURA: Well, that's okay, I'll use my bonus action, fuck it, to do Grasping Vine. It's a bonus action.

MATT: All righty. From where and to where?

LAURA: From the ground. I'm going to grab Raishan and pull her to the ground.

MATT: Pull her down? Okay. All righty. So Grasping Vine, here, that's going to be a dexterity saving throw.

LAURA: Mm-hm.

MATT: That is a five plus nine, that is 14. What is your spell DC?

LAURA: 15!

(All cheer.)

MATT: All right. So.

TALIESIN: Do I get an attack of opportunity on this one?

MATT: No, because it is forced down. Raishan is pulled to the ground there.

MARISHA: Like a dog who just peed on the carpet.

MATT: All righty.

LAURA: I say, "You stay down, bitch!" And I'm going to go to the bathroom.

MARISHA: I am too.

(all laugh)

MARISHA: I'm going to go too, while she's going.

LIAM: In character, in character.

TRAVIS: Leave the Mario way. (Mario sound effects)

MATT: All righty.

PATRICK: Just out of curiosity, I see there's-- from here, I can see there's plexiglass around there. How close is that, like, the edge of her character to me?

MATT: Right now, she would be ten feet from you.

PATRICK: Okay.

MATT: All right. That brings us to Percy's turn.

TALIESIN: Weird question.

MATT: Yes.

TALIESIN: Am I still-- if I try to disengage right now, would I get attacked?

MATT: Yes. You are in melee.

TALIESIN: I'm in melee. Okay. That's fine. I'm going to run around, I'm going to hit her with my sword. I'm pulling-- putting the gun away, pulling out the sword, and just taking some shots.

TRAVIS: The Dragonslayer, right?

TALIESIN: Yep. Okay. Let's see. The first one definitely missed, which is a 19, did not hit.

MATT: 19 misses, unfortunately. (guttural growling)

TALIESIN: 22?

MATT: 22 just hits.

TALIESIN: Okay. 22 and the other one is a 28, so I got two shots.

MATT: Yes, so two ones hit.

TALIESIN: So let's do the first one, which is...

TRAVIS: You aristocratic bastard.

TALIESIN: 22 points of damage plus... 10 points of lightning damage.

MATT: All righty.

TRAVIS: Total of 32.

TALIESIN: Total of 32. And the second slash is... 21 points of damage.

MATT: Nice. Okay.

SAM: He was aiming at the eggs, though.

TALIESIN: The whole time.

MATT: The entire time. That's perfect.

TALIESIN: So I'm... I'm now going to disengage, I'm going to let him take that shot and I'm going to run towards--

PATRICK: If you can pull her towards us?

TALIESIN: We'll see. I'm heading towards the eggs.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Full speed.

MATT: So as you go rushing, she's going to go ahead and make a claw swipe at you.

SAM: I died again.

MATT: That is--

PATRICK: (laughs) You died again.

MATT: That is a natural 20.

TALIESIN: Okay, that hits.

MATT: Sorry, buddy.

TALIESIN: That's okay. I regret nothing.

LIAM: No, no, no.

LAURA: No, stop it, stop it.

TALIESIN: Stop making noises, it's not polite. Stop counting.

MATT: 40 points of piercing damage.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: As the claw strikes you from behind.

TRAVIS: So like, retaliated against it?

MATT: So. Where are you going now?

TALIESIN: I'm running six spaces towards the eggs and turning around and pulling the gun back out and sitting on the wall like Spiderman, like an angry Spiderman.

MATT: All righty. That ends your turn, Percy?

TALIESIN: Anything I can do with my bonus action? No.

SAM: Drink something.

PATRICK: Before she goes-- because I'm not familiar with the hold action rules. I was waiting around the corner for the dragon to show up.

MATT: Correct. It's not in range to you. The moment the dragon comes into range, you can strike.

PATRICK: Okay, so that's the deciding factor--

MATT: Correct.

PATRICK: -- even though she showed up, I can't finish my move that I delayed?

MATT: Unfortunately, with the fifth edition rules, they make it so it's like a quick reaction.

PATRICK: Okay.

MATT: However, the dragon does fly past to get around the edge to this side here.

LAURA: God, she's just going after Percy. She had a crush on you, man.

TALIESIN: I... no. She may vaguely remember that I was not cool.

TRAVIS: You tried to kill her, yeah.

LIAM: In this state, she's just going to mount you.

MATT: You do get to make your attack as she comes into range, flying past for you.

PATRICK: Oh, okay. That's all I need, just a chance.

LAURA: My hand-dragon's on your shoulder.

LIAM: Not like this. Not like this.

LAURA: (laughing) Not like this.

SAM: Guys, now that I don't have to play, I'm playing Marvel Puzzle Quest.

(all laugh)

SAM: It's addictive!

LAURA: Like seriously, Sam has stacked up his binder, he's closed everything like he's getting ready to go.

MARISHA: This is sad. This is sad.

SAM: I can't do anything.

TALIESIN: No, this is the rest of the day for him, there's nowhere to go for-- yeah.

LIAM: Just put your head down on the desk, student.

TALIESIN: Think about what you've done.

MARISHA: Heads up, seven up.

LIAM: Heads up, seven up.

SAM: It was not your fault, Laura. It was Ashley's.

PATRICK: 20, which is not going to make it, I'm guessing?

MATT: A total of twenty? No, unfortunately.

LAURA: (tearfully) I just rolled bad, I'm sorry.

PATRICK: Mother. Fucker. I miss with both. Got no juice to throw on it either.

MATT: First swing just goes wide, the second one hits the side, but you haven't hit hard ancient dragon hide before, and it scrapes across the outside with no noticeable damage and a little seed of fear wells in your heart once more.

PATRICK: Yep, that's okay. I got to use these actions that were going to be wasted anyway.

MATT: All right. As Raishan slams down onto the ground--

PATRICK: Was she holding action alongside me?

MATT: No, she cast a spell to heal you last turn as a bonus action.

PATRICK: Okay.

MATT: Raishan is going to unleash upon you, Percy, who has avoided the Meteor Swarm, who has shot her in the face, and right now in her feral state is just focused on what's closest and angry at her.

TALIESIN: Okay, yeah, all right.

MATT: First strike, that is a 26 to hit.

TALIESIN: Oh Jesus, how is this happening?

MATT: With the bite. That is 17 plus eight... 25 points of piercing damage.

TALIESIN: Oh, I'm out.

MARISHA: Oh no, oh no.

MATT: So you fall to the ground.

TALIESIN: Yep.

MARISHA: No no no no no.

TRAVIS: Here we go. (clears throat) Jenga?

MATT: So you lose a death save.

TALIESIN: I know. Oh, is that lose a death save? I was only a few feet up, it wasn't like a-- it wasn't-- okay. All right.

MATT: You were just a few feet up? As opposed to?

TALIESIN: I mean, I was-- yeah.

LIAM: I mean, an eight-foot drop on your head is pretty bad.

TALIESIN: Yeah, it's pretty bad. I'm taking it.

PATRICK: You could leave him with one foot stuck to the wall.

TALIESIN: Ow. Ow.

(all laugh)

TALIESIN: Like a punching bag.

SAM: It's going to be Shorthalt and de Rolo in heaven, just--

TALIESIN: Oh, it's so cute that you think either of us are going to heaven.

MATT: Going to angrily take a claw attack at your body, which hits, a critical, that's two death saving throws--

PATRICK: A critical?

MATT: Percy, you're dead.

TALIESIN: I'm out.

MATT: As the bite knocks you to the ground, the claw slams down onto your torso, and just tears out the side of your body, your entrails scattered across the stone floor--

SAM: You're up, Laura. Roll good.

MATT: -- and your breath just escapes out. Kerrek, you and Kima both there watch this happen as Percy is now partially spread across the stone immediately to the right of you.

TALIESIN: The blood is in fact blue.

MATT: And Raishan gets her legendary actions back. That's going to end Raishan's turn. Grog, you're up.

TRAVIS: Yeah! Grog would like to get up.

LIAM: Stand up.

TRAVIS: What does that take for me to do that?

MATT: That's half your movement. 25.

TRAVIS: Half my movement. Can I use the rest of my movement to run towards dragon-dick?

MARISHA: Towards dragon-dick?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: 25. That's as far as you can get.

TRAVIS: Can I use the boots of feral leaping to leap even further.

MATT: Make your athletics check.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LAURA: Wait a minute, did she even roll to break her Grasping Vine?

MATT: Grasping Vine doesn't keep her restrained, it just grabs somebody and pulls them there, it's meant to move things--

TRAVIS: Natural 20 on that one.

MARISHA: Natural 20?

TRAVIS: Yeah, on my leaping.

(all laugh)

MARISHA: Well, I mean, that's still cool.

TRAVIS: I leap through her chest. Boom!

LIAM: Pacman through it?

TRAVIS: Yeah. So I have my three attacks, yes?

MATT: Yes. You're not in melee, you didn't quite get far enough to get--

TRAVIS: Imma have to throw 'em. Reckless, not negated because I can see her now.

MATT: Correct.

TRAVIS: Right. 30.

MATT: Yeah, that'll hit.

TRAVIS: Okay. 23 for the first one.

MATT: 23 damage? All righty.

TRAVIS: The second one I'll make reckless and great weapon master.

MATT: Sure.

TRAVIS: Okay. No, I can't do great weapon master because it's one-handed.

MATT: Yeah, no, well, it's thrown, you can only do it with melee.

TRAVIS: Right. Jesus. 24.

MATT: 24 hits.

TRAVIS: 23 for the second one.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Piece of shit for the third one. Wait, where's--

MATT: 23, you said?

TRAVIS: 23.

LAURA: Does Kima have Revivify, do you think?

SAM: Don't you have two of them?

TRAVIS: Third attack.

MARISHA: Maybe, she might. Are you guys out of Revivifies?

LAURA: No, Pike has lots more spells.

TALIESIN: We've got time.

TRAVIS: 27.

MATT: 27 hits.

TALIESIN: In a minute. That's a long time.

PATRICK: A minute's a long time.

TALIESIN: Ten rounds.

LAURA: She's got little legs.

MARISHA: Matt gets weird about the minute rule. Just keep that in mind. I think the sooner you do it, the easier.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I know.

TRAVIS: 26 for the third one.

TALIESIN: Matt does get weird about the minute rule, that is also funny.

SAM: Right now, Scanlan's getting fed grapes by little cherubs that are the same size as him.

(all laugh)

SAM: And he's like, come on, Percy, we've got red and green grapes.

MATT: All right, that ends your turn, Grog?

LAURA: Like, the ultimate punishment for Scanlan is he would show up as a spectral servant in somebody else's mansion?

SAM: Oh god!

TRAVIS: No, the last one I rolled a one on the damage, I reroll ones or twos with that first thing of fighter?

SAM: You want what? Oh. All right.

MATT: That's for the larger weapon. I'll double-check real fast.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I don't remember what the number was, anyway.

MATT: Well, here, just to remind myself. The weapon... a melee weapon you're wielding with two hands, which as you're throwing it, you're not.

TRAVIS: Thank you.

MATT: So no. All right, got it. That ends Grog's turn. Kerrek, you're up.

PATRICK: Oh please, please just let me, all I want to do is stick at least one on this god damned dragon.

MARISHA: Come on, Kerr-bear!

LIAM: Yes!

PATRICK: Okay. So there is 26.

MATT: 26 hits.

LAURA: Yeah!

PATRICK: And a 20. I'm guessing the 20--

MATT: 20 misses, unfortunately.

PATRICK: Unless this dragon is so surprised that I finally made a successful attack.

(all laugh)

MATT: No, unfortunately, the feral angry unintelligible state of Raishan right now as just a beast, no. Not surprised. Instinct now.

PATRICK: So I'm going to burn my second-level spell for Smite and she is not anything that is specifically affected by Doomhammer here? She's not undead technically or--

MATT: No.

PATRICK: Just regular old evil?

MATT: Yeah.

PATRICK: Okay.

MARISHA: Regular old evil.

TALIESIN: She's just awful.

MARISHA: Classic evil.

PATRICK: Just... just bad. So that's ten... 18... one more. 28.

MATT: 28 points of damage?

PATRICK: 28.

TRAVIS: She dies suddenly. A cardiac arrest.

MATT: At a max hit points of 520... How do you want to do this?

(Screaming and cheering.)

MATT: Literally had seven hit points left. As far as my math goes, yeah.

LIAM: Level seven!

MATT: I can't fucking believe-- I can't fucking believe that happened!

LAURA: Kerrek just like leveled up to like...

MATT: So. How do you want to do this?

LAURA: Oh my god.

MARISHA: Oh my god, Kerrek!

MATT: The feral beast there, tearing the innards out of Percy on the ground, Grog slamming into it, just seemingly bashing against the world, watching everyone drop around you like flies, your warhammer in hand.

PATRICK: What I would like to do is step over to be over his body, and it's like, no, no further. And as the dragon is coming in, just trying to mindlessly claw at this poor destroyed corpse... I like to think of the anime slow-mo strike, where the hammer comes back and it slows down and then when it connects you get the big starburst. Wow, okay.

MATT: As the hammer arcs downward (slow-mo sound effects). It just slams into the snout of Raishan just as the head turns up, the eyes that were once reptilian and intelligent are now just filled with bloodshot rage and feral intensity. The jaw is attempting to snap up and catch the blade, however, you're too fast. Your old adventuring reflexes are kicking in. As the glowing hammerhead comes down onto the snout, the divine energy blasts forward, and you watch as the dragon's face explodes, inverting inward, the front of the skull being blown backward, and you guys watch as this flash of light fills the entirety of this necrotic space. This one plume of radiant smoke kind of pssssh. And left behind, you see Kerrek standing there, holding the rod, the actual head of the hammer now dismissed as part of the burst of radiant energy, and there the smoking ruin of the throat, headless, of Raishan the Diseased Deceiver, collapsing to the ground, unmoving. And we're going to take a quick break. Take a break, and we're going to take a little time to take in the aftermath of this moment before we finish tonight's episode. So we'll be back here in a few minutes, we're going to go ahead and use the restroom. We'll see you guys here shortly.

TRAVIS: Oh my god!

MARISHA: Holy shit!

Break
[BREAK]

Part II
MATT: And welcome back. So. Last we left off, the battle with Raishan ended with a victory for Vox Machina but at a rather high cost at the moment. As you stand now in the still silence, the aftermath of the fray, looking down, seeing your allies beaten, bruised, disheveled, Scanlan lifeless on the ground on one side of this cavern, and a partially gutted Percy lifeless on the other, the smoldering ruin that was once the head of Raishan lifeless and still on the ground as Kerrek clutches the hammer. Kima walks over and grabs your shoulder and tightly squeezes it, going, "You did what had to be done. Thank you."

PATRICK: I mean, I've been around, I can't help him, can I?

MATT: "I think he's beyond either of our power now. Allie? Please tell me she's alive." And Kima runs off, realizing that she doesn't really know the status of the rest of the group. Allura shouts out to her on the side.

LAURA: What's happening?

MATT: I'm all right!

PATRICK: I get down there, and I'm doing, I'm doing useless combat triage.

MATT: Trying to gather what you--

PATRICK: You do what you can.

MATT: What's outside, putting it back in. Yeah.

PATRICK: And I've-- yeah.

LAURA: Vax?

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Are you up?

LIAM: Yeah. Yeah.

LAURA: Good. Percival? How are you?

MARISHA: Sound off if you're alive.

TRAVIS: Alive.

LIAM: I start stumbling over towards Scanlan.

MARISHA: Percy.

LAURA: "Percy?" I go running around the corner.

MARISHA: Same.

MATT: As you guys both kind of run, Keyleth a bit behind, Vex, you turn and you see Raishan's corpse just piled, and then on the ground you see Kerrek slowly and methodically, almost staring off into a memory, trying to gather a bit of Percival's scattered innards from the side torn open.

LAURA: "No. No!" And I run over to him. "Help him! Pike!"

MATT: Pike comes running around the corner. "Oh, God." And she runs up real fast and begins gathering her Revivify spell.

TRAVIS: Wh-where's Scanlan?

LIAM: I pick him up. I start walking towards Grog with him.

MATT: Did either of you guys want to roll for Pike's Revivify?

LIAM: On Percy?

LAURA: On Percy.

MATT: Percival, yeah.

TRAVIS: Do you want Matt to do this, so that there's no--

LAURA: I--

LIAM: I'll do it. I don't want you to have-- I don't want you to-- get out of your head, I'll do it, I'll do it. I'll do it. It's just dice. It's the universe. That's low.

LAURA: Oh, no. Is that a five?

LIAM: Plus six.

LAURA: Plus what? It's not going to work.

MATT: Six plus five?

LAURA: Eleven.

MATT: Percival has died... how many times?

LAURA: I don't know.

MARISHA: Once.

MATT: I think just once for him, right?

LIAM: The big one.

MARISHA: It works. It works. It's just enough. It's just enough.

TRAVIS: Wait, how many times has he died?

MATT: We're double-checking. Taliesin.

TRAVIS: Taliesin, how many times have you died?

TALIESIN: Does the necklace count, or does the necklace not count?

MATT: The necklace does not count.

TALIESIN: Once. As far as I can remember.

LAURA: 'Cause the necklace just instantly bamfed him back.

MATT: Yeah, similar to the effect earlier.

LIAM: Yeah, it's a shield.

MARISHA: Oh, come on, come on.

PATRICK: If that's going on, I've got like 30 points of Lay on Hands just that I have not had a chance to use, and I'm probably not in great shape. I'm probably going to be trying to use it even though I know better.

MATT: So as you're trying to grab the body and trying to make it form, it's not-- it's not doing anything and the healing magic is not taking effect into the now-still cold body. As Pike's metallic hand comes into your visual frame, Kerrek, you watch in that slow breathless motion as her gauntleted arm reaches down and touches the clavicle of the bloody mess of Percy's torso. And as the divine energy pulses warmth once more through the chest, you watch as the bits of exposed organ that you had pushed in close over with skin. (breathes) And breath comes back to Percival's body. You come to consciousness. Barely.

TALIESIN: Quick question.

MATT: Yes.

TALIESIN: Okay, just checking. Okay. Good to know.

LAURA: I just kiss-kiss-kiss-kiss, tears-tears-tears-tears.

TALIESIN: Oh, that's nice.

LAURA: Welcome back. Don't look down, you're a bloody mess.

TALIESIN: (panicked laughter) Oh. Is this mine?

MARISHA: No?

TALIESIN: Okay. I'm going to pass out.

TRAVIS: Are we all here, then?

LIAM: Grog!

LAURA: Scanlan was down.

MARISHA: Scanlan's down.

TRAVIS: I take off running for Vax.

MATT: Okay. As you turn around the corner--

LIAM: I've got him in my arms.

MATT: Kima and Allura are rushing up to you now as well. "Is he--" And you turn the corner, Grog, and you see Vax holding the still body of Scanlan, just dangling out of his arms.

TRAVIS: No. No. No! Fix him! FIX HIM!

LIAM: I just start to rock him like a child.

TRAVIS: Well, somebody do something.

TALIESIN: We have to take him home.

MARISHA: We have to get him out of here.

TRAVIS: Well, we got all these people with magic, you've all got magic spells, you just brought him back. Fix him!

LAURA: Pike looks at Kima. "Can you do anything?"

MATT: This is-- this is beyond any of my capabilities. I-- look, I have a certain skillset, and it's not this kind of skillset, I'm sorry.

MARISHA: Vax, the Raven Queen. You can talk to her, right? Vax?

TRAVIS: I mean, what do we need? Do we need, like--

MARISHA: Okay. We have to get him out of here, because this place sucks.

TALIESIN: We need to take him somewhere. To the temple. And we need to find his daughter.

MARISHA: Um, okay. Question. Oh, you didn't kill anything, did you, Vex? There's no, like Fenthras-trees?

LAURA: No.

MARISHA: There's no trees?

MATT: No trees.

LAURA: Can Allura do--

MATT: Allura says, "I do have a teleport spell I can utilize. Gather everyone around."

TALIESIN: I'm going to drop the gate stone that we have right in this room. I'm just going to leave it here.

LIAM: You know, you're very funny, but this is not very funny.

TALIESIN: I'm coming back here to dissect that monster once we're done.

MARISHA: That's fair. Okay, let's save our friend.

MATT: "All right. Let's all of us gather our hands together." She puts her hands out, Kima takes one side, and you all form a circle.

TALIESIN: I am lying down to do this, but yes.

MATT: She closes her eyes. She begins the incantation under her breath.

TRAVIS: Why did he roll?

LAURA: Why is she rolling?

MATT: There's a brief flux of arcane energy, and then it fades and you all remain in place.

TRAVIS: Fuck.

MARISHA: No.

MATT: She goes, "Um."

MARISHA: What's wrong?

MATT: I don't know, something is-- something is barring my--

PATRICK: It's this place. The dragon said that there were features to this place.

MARISHA: Oh, fuck. We don't have--

PATRICK: Kerrek has no affect in his voice.

TRAVIS: We have to get out of here.

PATRICK: Up and out.

MARISHA: Up and out. Up and out?

LAURA: Pike's going to cast Detect Magic and see where it's coming from. Can she see if it's coming from anywhere?

MATT: Okay, she casts Detect Magic. There are a number of magical sources in this room. There are a few vials on the back shelf, some of which appear to have been broken and scattered on the ground, and the magic is fading. There is one book that is actually in a chest that she goes and partially opens, there is a book inside that is emanating some magical essence. There is the doorway across the way. But there is just a general magical presence, like a faint magical energy everywhere in here.

MARISHA: Which doorway across the way?

MATT: On the far end.

PATRICK: There is a doorway.

TRAVIS: Oh, there is?

MARISHA: I run over to inspect it.

MATT: Make an investigation check.

MARISHA: Try and get us out of here. Perception?

MATT: Investigation.

MARISHA: Oh, jesus fuck.

TALIESIN: What hit points am I at right now?

MARISHA: Seven.

MATT: Seven. The door looks like-- the door doesn't look like it's particularly intricate.

MARISHA: Trapped or anything?

MATT: It looks like it's locked or chained by something.

MARISHA: Vax, can you check for traps?

LIAM: Grog.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: I'm going to third-level Cure Wounds you.

LIAM: Take him, take him.

TALIESIN: What am I at right now?

LAURA: You're probably at one.

TALIESIN: Okay, that'll do.

LAURA: So I'm going to Cure Wounds on you.

LIAM: All right. I head over to where Keyleth is and start looking for traps.

PATRICK: Can I Lay on Hands with him once he's back?

MATT: You can now, okay.

LIAM: I'm going to use my last Luck of the day.

PATRICK: So I can give you-- I'll give you 30.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

LIAM: I just used my last Luck of the day and I got two ones.

MATT: Two ones.

MARISHA: Are you fucking serious?

MATT: The door seems, not trapped, but it appears to be chained or locked from the other side.

TRAVIS: Fuck that shit. Titanstone Knuckles. I'm going through the door.

MATT: All right.

LIAM: Give him back, give him back.

MATT: All right. Roll a strength check.

TRAVIS: With advantage. That's good. 26.

LIAM: But it's not trapped, I checked it.

LAURA: 24.

MATT: 26. (punching sounds) You start slamming your fists against the door, and as it splinters and then breaks inward, and then outward, and rocks just start tumbling outward, where once was the door in this vicinity here now appears to be a cave-in on the opposite side.

MARISHA: Augh. I do my Stone Shape and I just punch the walls and try and blast a hole through the fallen rubble with Stone Shape.

MATT: Okay. As you slam through, you smash a cylindrical space in, and it just meets more rock. You get the sense that whatever chamber was beyond this room--

MARISHA: Is just a cave-in.

MATT: -- has just caved in.

TALIESIN: I'm going to say something awful. Put him in the bag of colding. It's not like he's breathing. It will keep him safe. Let's gather what we can. We have to walk out of here. There's no other way.

LAURA: Pike looks at the book that's emanating magic. Does it look like it's an evil book at all?

MATT: It has a sinister look to it. It is ancient, the leather itself is darkened not by initial color but by just weather, age. It has a very, very deep eathery-brown burgundy tint to it. It has ancient brass inlays, and it is locked shut on one side.

LAURA: Pike's going to take off her scarf and throw it over it and try to cover it and wrap it up in cloth.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: And ask Grog to put it in the bag of holding and wonder if that'll make the magic go away.

TRAVIS: Sure.

TALIESIN: I'm also just going to grab Grog really quickly and just scrape as much stuff off the shelves into the bags because we need to know what this shit is.

MATT: Okay. So you grab a number of the tomes. A number of them were destroyed from the impact of the Meteor Swarm, but the one-- you get a number of tomes in there, you get some odds and ends, some trinkets, some bones, some other things that're around the territory. And that all seems to go in fine.

MARISHA: Keyleth goes over to the corpse of Raishan. She takes the staff of Melora and shoves it down into her corpse. Just to see if any reaction happens.

MATT: Okay. The staff slams into the flesh, one of the exposed wounds on the side of Raishan's body. As it sinks in, the staff seems to right itself in a standing position. You let go instinctually, and you watch as the remaining visual of the black disease that had begun to spread across the body spreads rapidly across the entire body of Raishan. What remains of green scale turns to black, and very very quickly the corpse begins to wither and blacken and then turn to this rippled, fleshy husk. The staff disengages and falls to the ground, clattering against the stone, seeming that the remainder of the disease completed its cycle.

MARISHA: I just say, "That was for Scanlan from the Ashari. Bitch."

TALIESIN: I'm going to... Grog, help me pile all of the dragon remains into a pile. The eggs. Everything. I need a pile. We're going to try and remove anything useful, especially of the eggs. Anything to know what they were. But I don't want to take the whole thing, I don't want to leave anything. We're going to burn it. We're going to burn it all.

LAURA: I take the gate stone and put it back.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

PATRICK: Knock out these pillars, it'll cave this whole thing in.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: I still want to burn it, but yeah.

MATT: As you, Kerrek, walk toward one of the edges of the pillars there, there is a flash on the ground, a magical glyph or a symbol of some kind that triggers, and your body is immediately wracked with horrible pain. I need you to make a constitution saving throw.

TALIESIN: Jesus.

LAURA: Let's not walk around this place anymore.

PATRICK: 11.

MATT: 11.

PATRICK: No no no, wait wait wait, with constitution I get...

MATT: I'll make sure it's constitution.

PATRICK: Plus seven. 15. 18. I probably should've been making some of these saving throws by adding the right numbers to them.

LIAM: Eh, that's D&D, man.

TALIESIN: It's math-lite.

MATT: Let me see and make sure it was the right one. Yeah, okay. So as the excruciating pain takes over, you instinctually start screaming as your muscles lock up and you are unable to move. You guys all look over suddenly as Kerrek is just locked in place, all the muscles pulled into this tense moment, just screaming in place.

TRAVIS: Kerr?

MARISHA: What is he grabbing onto? Is he grabbing onto something?

MATT: Nothing. He just walked toward one of the pillars--

TALIESIN: And hit a glyph.

MATT: In the central area here.

TALIESIN: Someone shove him off.

LAURA: I'm going to use my Rope of Entanglement and grab him.

MATT: Okay. You pull him off, the glyph still remains glowing in place, and he clatters to the ground, still locked up. You don't even see color or shape right now, it's just white from the pain that is wracking your body. You are unable to move, make conscious thought. You are purely a primal entity that is suffering right now.

TRAVIS: Can you smash glyphs?

LIAM: I walk over, I'm going to try--

PATRICK: Actually, it's not much-- this is almost better than what I had before.

(all laugh)

LIAM: I kneel down and try Lay on Hands on him, because it can cure multiple diseases and cure poisons with a single use.

MATT: Okay. So you spend five of your hit points.

LIAM: Sure, five.

MATT: Doesn't seem to assuage him. Almost biting through his tongue. Allura immediately looks over and is going to attempt to dispel.

LIAM: Is he cursed?

MATT: Which succeeds, actually, she rolled a 15 plus-- so. The pain subsides immediately, and she puts her hood back up. As your breath begins to regulate--

TALIESIN: Let's get out of here.

MARISHA: What was that?

MATT: Dragon left a symbol.

MARISHA: A symbol?

MATT: Don't worry about it, it's gone now. Just do not touch that for the next ten minutes.

TALIESIN: I'm going to quickly search Scanlan's body for his wand.

TRAVIS: Of Fireballs, or--?

TALIESIN: Yeah. I'm going to shoot some Fireballs in here when we're on our way out.

MARISHA: You're going to burn it to the ground?

TALIESIN: I'm going to burn it to the fucking ground.

MARISHA: I can help you with that.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

MATT: As can I.

MARISHA: As we leave, we help burn this motherfucker to the ground.

MATT: All right. As you guys begin to walk out, the three of you, between your staff, your wand, and Allura's preparation, you guys just (fire, explosion sounds). And you watch as elements of the stonework begin to fall into itself and collapse. Not enough to the point where it causes a full cave-in to be endangering to you, but you ensure that this space is no longer used for whatever purpose it was being used for. You guys continue back out to the edge of the chasm where the bridge is currently--

PATRICK: The bridge got snapped, didn't it?

MATT: It did, yeah.

TALIESIN: But the gravity is off.

PATRICK: Now the gravity's regular.

MATT: Yes.

LIAM: We can ferry back and forth on the carpet.

LAURA: Yeah, ferry on the carpet and the broom.

MATT: Okay. You get across without issue.

LAURA: Pike casts Light on her mace so that it's a nicely lit thing, it's not all creepy and dark.

MATT: All right. You guys make your way across the chasm. You can still hear below, and occasionally as you glance down as the light opens the area below, you can see the masses of writhing bodies that are all reaching up from below, but with no magical gravitational trap in effect, they have no effect and are kept at a distance. You make your way across, heading back towards the spiral staircase upwards. The glyph--

MARISHA: Avoiding all that stairs-trap stuff.

MATT: Yeah, the glyph is still dispelled from earlier. You guys still make your way up in sections using your-- the broom and the magic carpet. As you make your way up into the next chamber, you begin to hear cackling laughter.

MARISHA: Are these the fucking ghostrider skulls again?

MATT: You hear (cackling) from ahead, and you see a little bit of a light source begin to appear from the iron door room that you guys had your first encounter with--

MARISHA: Are they all just like right down--

MATT: They're not quite in sight yet. You can just see the glow as they're descending down a grade.

MARISHA: And we're kind of in a hallway, right?

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: Are they technically undead?

LIAM: Yes.

LAURA: Then Pike's going to use her-- Yeah, she's going to use Turn Undead on those motherfuckers.

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: Okay. Looking at the radius of Turn Undead. I'll just double-check here, because it's pretty close.

LIAM: Destroy Undead.

PATRICK: If she's got it.

MATT: It would be Destroy Undead at fifth level, which she has. But yeah. It's 30 feet near you. So she can wait.

LAURA: But they can shoot Fireballs, so maybe that's not smart.

TALIESIN: I'll actually say, the second that we see them, I'm just going to empty the wand.

PATRICK: It's fire, though.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Oh, will they just be fine?

MARISHA: Yeah, they're immune to fire. We need radiant damage.

LAURA: I'm going to just shoot them with arrows and try to get them from far away, I guess.

MATT: All right. So you guys are holding your action for when they come into range, essentially.

MARISHA: Can I see them yet?

PATRICK: Is this like a straight tunnel, a straight featureless tunnel heading towards us?

MATT: It's a slow grade downward. You guys are heading back up the pathway, and you see them now coming in your direction.

TALIESIN: Can I just unload on them, I suppose?

MATT: Once they come into range.

TRAVIS: Is it all four of them?

MATT: You're not sure.

PATRICK: We just can't clump like we were before.

MARISHA: I've got a Sunbeam ready to go.

TALIESIN: Oh, well.

LAURA: Well, yours has a probably good range on it.

MARISHA: 60 foot. But I want to get them in a line.

LAURA: I've got 120 feet on my bow.

TALIESIN: I've got disgusting range.

MATT: All right, so you guys, hearing the cackling and seeing the glow coming, you hold your actions. You're holding your bow, you're holding a Sunbeam, you're holding your attacks.

MARISHA: I'm going to line them up.

MATT: That would give you guys immediate action as soon as they arrive. So. Sure enough, within a moment you watch as four of them come into view, the same four that you destroyed earlier, clustered around. There's two lines of two, essentially. So.

TRAVIS: Do they regenerate?

LAURA: So I'm going to do--

TRAVIS: They just grow back? Like, we shattered two of 'em.

MARISHA: I have a feeling there's a bunch of these guys.

TRAVIS: Fuck.

MATT: So, Keyleth. Sunbeam can only affect two of them. So they get their saving throw, right? Roll 8d6, if you could. They... (laughs) they do not make their saving throws.

MARISHA: That's right. Five, six, need two more.

TALIESIN: What do you need?

MARISHA: d6s.

TALIESIN: That's a lot of whiskey.

MARISHA: (counting) 27 radiant damage.

MATT: 27 radiant damage to both of them. All righty. Got you. All right. Percival?

TALIESIN: I'm going to try doing a sharpshooter piercing shot on another round of them with the Pepperbox. Sharpshooter piercing shot.

LAURA: Pike's going to do Sacred Flame on them, too.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: That's not bad. So that's-- the first shot is--

MARISHA: It's good.

TALIESIN: 16.

MATT: Hits.

TALIESIN: Oh, then they all hit. That's good. So that's 1d10 plus 1d6, so 1d10 plus 1d6. And this is piercing shot so it's the enemy line, so. Wow. That's nice. That's-- I have no brain. 27 points of damage, with five points of psychic damage for the first shot.

MATT: Okay, so 19 total. They appear-- the blasts of the bullets don't seem to be doing as much damage as other forms of attack.

TALIESIN: Okay, but it's hitting both of them in a row.

MATT: Right. Yeah.

TALIESIN: Next shot is-- ha! Is 28 points of damage with four points of psychic.

MATT: Okay, this is the ones she damaged with the Sunbeam?

TALIESIN: Mm-hm.

MATT: Both of those skulls just (explosion sound). As soon as the beam streaks past, blasting into two of them, two piercing shots in a row, you can watch as their eyes begin to glow, flames glowing within the back of the skull. Two of them immediately just scatter into dust and bone. The two on the other side.

TALIESIN: I still have one last shot, so. Let's do slightly less that time. 20 points of damage with one point of psychic.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: And that's my contribution to the world.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Pike does Sacred Flame.

MATT: What level?

LAURA: She's a 17th level cleric now.

MATT: Right, but what spell level?

LAURA: It's a cantrip.

MATT: Oh, that's right.

LAURA: So it's just 4d8 damage.

MATT: Okay, yeah.

TALIESIN: 4d8 radiant?

LAURA: Mm-hm, 4d8 radiant damage. Oh yeah, that's good. 22 radiant damage. They have to do a dexterity saving throw.

MATT: Nope.

LAURA: Cool. So one of them takes 22 damage.

MATT: Nice.

LAURA: I'm going to do the one that Percy just hit.

MATT: All righty.

TALIESIN: I hit both of them.

LAURA: Oh. Well, there's four of them.

TALIESIN: Two are down, the other two 0are damaged.

LAURA: Cool, well, she chooses one. And then I'm going to, as Vex, shoot arrows at them.

MATT: Go for it.

LAURA: That doesn't hit because the world hates me tonight. And that one hits.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: 17 damage.

MATT: All righty. 17 to the one that's over there. Allura, who is frustrated and understanding what their resistances are, she's going to go ahead and cast a high-level Magic Missile.

TALIESIN: Classic.

MATT: Okay. That one just explodes and scatters, so now there is one left that is just partially damaged from Percival.

PATRICK: Are they within 30 feet?

MATT: Not quite yet.

PATRICK: Then I leave the ring of invisibility off, and I just charge.

MATT: You just charge in?

PATRICK: I'm heading toward them, because if they hit me and I'm far enough away, it won't hit the whole group.

MATT: Okay. As you go rushing in, that triggers them-- or the one that's remaining to go ahead, and it's going to fire two Fire Rays at you.

MARISHA: Fire Rays?

MATT: That is 20 to hit?

PATRICK: Yes it will.

MATT: And 24 to hit.

PATRICK: That one won't, strangely enough. No, it did.

(all laugh)

MATT: That would be strange.

MARISHA: I want that class.

MATT: That is 13 points of fire damage in one.

PATRICK: Okay.

MATT: And seven points of fire damage on the other.

PATRICK: I will take that.

MATT: All right. You watch as both eyes streak out these burning rays of flame in his direction. Both blast him in the shoulder, one hits him in the side of the knee and thigh, but Kerrek keeps running forward. You can go ahead and make your attacks if you want.

PATRICK: 19.

MATT: Hits.

PATRICK: And-- actually, that's way better than 19, I'm counting dumb. This is 18.

MATT: 18 hits.

PATRICK: Okay. So for the first one, I'm going to burn one for Divine Smite.

MATT: All righty.

PATRICK: And these are undead.

MATT: Yes they are.

PATRICK: Eight... eh. 11. 17. 25.

MATT: 25 for both hits? That's the first one.

PATRICK: The first hit.

MATT: All right, so do the second hit now.

PATRICK: And that doesn't do it? Just to make sure I didn't kill it with the first one?

MATT: It doesn't destroy it, no.

PATRICK: Okay, then the second one--

MATT: It does crack the skull and you watch as the sutures cave in from below, the light of your hammer still--

LAURA: These are hardy skulls.

PATRICK: Right, and 12... 22... 23... 31. All radiant.

MATT: 31, that'll do it. With that, the first blow knocks it almost to the ground. As it begins to lift up again, its mouth (cackling), you hit it with the side of the hammer, and it just scatters into broken bone chunks and shards that splatter against the wall and rattle down the grade a bit towards your direction as Kerrek turns around, looking back over his shoulder at you guys, the pathway now clear ahead of you.

PATRICK: It's matter-of-fact, there was no serpentine, it was like-- and then it was just cutting wood.

MATT: Yeah. You guys continue forward. You make your way to the chamber with the iron door, still open, eventually walking to the outskirts of the entranceway to the sanctum. You now walk carefully around the previously noticed patches of dirt and sand.

LAURA: Oh, I grab those immovable rods when we get out of there.

MATT: Right. And as you pull them out, it seals the tunnel once more behind you.

LIAM: Let's find a tree.

TRAVIS: Yeah, how do we go?

MARISHA: Allura, do you have any more teleportations left?

MATT: No, that was the one.

MARISHA: Let's find a big ol' tree, then. I'll burn my seventh-level spell.

LIAM: Do we see any trees? Everything was dead the closer we got to the central--

MARISHA: We have to get to a living tree that we can all fit through.

MATT: Actually, she goes, "I do have a teleportation circle, so I may be able to bring us to Emon."

MARISHA: Do we want to go to Emon or anywhere else?

LAURA: We can go to Greyskull Keep.

TRAVIS: Why, what's there?

MARISHA: Can you get us to Greyskull Keep, or at least the--

TRAVIS: We need something that'll get Scanlan. What's the quickest--

LAURA: Sarenrae's temple.

TRAVIS: Is at Greyskull Keep, or--

LAURA: I mean, that's where our chapel is in our house.

MARISHA: Pike and I have a little temple, yeah.

TRAVIS: Oh, right.

MATT: That's one of the few teleportation sigils that still exist, in that vicinity at least.

TRAVIS: Yeah, do it, do it. Yeah.

MARISHA: If it doesn't work at Sarenrae's temple, I can use a treestride to get us elsewhere. Let's get to Greyskull Keep.

MATT: "All right." She gets down and begins marking out the symbol on the ground on the outskirts. She finishes, you watch the arcane flash.

TRAVIS: No. No. No.

MATT: She steps onto the circle and vanishes. The teleportation circle. And Kima's about to go behind her, and Kima goes, "I don't... it doesn't usually look like that."

MARISHA: What? Allura didn't vanish, did she?

MATT: Allura stepped onto it after casting it and then vanished. There was a weird sparkle of electrical energy.

TRAVIS: What do you mean, it doesn't look like that normally?

MATT: I don't know. I don't know!

MARISHA: Do we follow or do something else?

LAURA: I don't understand. No, Kima!

MARISHA: Kima!

MATT: And Kima just walks in after her. Sparks once more.

LAURA: Does anybody know what the fuck--

TRAVIS: What did that mean?

LAURA: What was that supposed to look like? What it was supposed to look like?

MARISHA: Can we do some sort of check?

PATRICK: I don't know arcane.

MARISHA: I don't either.

LAURA: (tearfully) Scanlan does.

MARISHA: (tearfully) Scanlan does. He would know.

MATT: You can make an arcana check.

TALIESIN: I'd love to make an arcana check.

MARISHA: For Scanlan!

PATRICK: I'll roll the bones in case it's a religious thing.

LAURA: I mean, as perception thing, if we've seen a teleportation circle before, would we at least know that it doesn't look like it's supposed to?

MARISHA: (yells) Nothing. I don't know shit.

TALIESIN: 22.

MATT: 22?

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: As you get closer and look at it-- you've seen a few teleportation circles, and once they're down they just kind of glow with this mild energy until they dissipate. Which is pretty rapid. Let's see here.

TRAVIS: We need those two, right, to do what we need to do. We have to go with them.

TALIESIN: We don't.

LAURA: We don't.

MARISHA: I can get us there via tree. If we need to. There's a tree in Sarenrae's--

TRAVIS: You'd better be right. If we leave those two behind.

MATT: Yeah, it only lasts for a round, so it's--

TALIESIN: Six seconds.

MATT: Yeah, six seconds.

LAURA: So we have to make this decision stat?

MATT: Now.

LAURA: But what if it took them somewhere--

MATT: You glancing at it, there is a flicker to it and weird (crackling), very similar to the weird flash that you saw when you were inside and attempted the original teleportation. There's something-- you get the sense that there's something about this-- either this mountain or this underground area, there's something that has some sort of influence or impact on any sort of transportation magic.

MARISHA: Who knows where they just got teleported to?

PATRICK: Or if they ended up anywhere at all.

TRAVIS: Do we need them?

LIAM: I mean, the amount of talking we're doing, it's already closed at this point.

MATT: It's gone.

LAURA: Oh my god.

MARISHA: Fuck.

TRAVIS: Go find a tree. We all start running.

MARISHA: No no no.

TALIESIN: No.

MARISHA: Yeah, we find a tree, we find a tree.

TALIESIN: We go to the beach and we find a tree. We get as far away from this cave.

PATRICK: As far away.

LIAM: Yes.

LAURA: What if-- where did they just go? What if we just sent them to some plane of existence?

MARISHA: I don't know. I can try to scry on them. I can try and scry on them and see, but that's going to take time.

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, now.

TALIESIN: One crisis at a time.

LIAM: We just start walking. Grog and I start walking.

TALIESIN: We start walking to the beach.

MARISHA: Can I scry while we're walking?

MATT: The ritual requires you--

TALIESIN: The ball.

LAURA: What about the ball?

MARISHA: Can I get a piggyback from Grog and scry while we're walking?

TALIESIN: On the carpet.

LAURA: Yeah, on the carpet.

MATT: You could probably try that. I'd give you a concentration check to maintain it for the duration.

MARISHA: Let's do it, let's do it.

TALIESIN: I'm going to take a rest on the carpet and I'm going to fly the carpet while you do your thing.

TRAVIS: Vax and I are still walking.

MARISHA: I'm going to cast-- I haven't burned any fifth-level spells, I'm going to scry.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Pike's going to cast healing on people.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: She might want to save-- well. We'll see. Seems like we know where--

MATT: Okay.

PATRICK: Whoever's low. I know some people are pretty low.

MARISHA: I'm really low.

LAURA: Everybody's low, super low.

MATT: You guys slowly make your way through the forest, avoiding the patches that you noticed before, the weird collapsing earth.

MARISHA: I'm just laying back on the carpet in a trust-state as they guide me.

MATT: Go ahead and make a constitution saving throw, Keyleth.

MARISHA: Just straight constitution?

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: 15.

MATT: 15, okay.

MARISHA: No no no, 17. Plus five.

MATT: What are you focusing on?

MARISHA: Allura.

MATT: Allura? Okay.

MARISHA: Oh no. Oh no.

MATT: Okay. So. You focus on Allura's life force, form, face, and as you close your eyes, slowly moving along with the gradual movement of the flying carpet, your vision pulls out of you and above. An island. It then shifts suddenly and pulls you over blue. Over water. And then there's another flash, and there's nothing but water around you. You don't know where you are, you don't know where it is, and it flashes once more. And there in the center of this open expanse of water and ocean, you see two figures swimming. And you glance down and there in the middle of the ocean waters you see Allura treading water, shouting Kima's name. "Kima!" And looking across the way, you can just barely hear in the distance, "Allie, I'm coming!" She swims over in that direction. They eventually grab each other's hands and together hold each other and look around, keeping treading water, as the sun is slowly beginning to set in the distance and nightfall comes. You just see Allura holding her there, trying to keep both aloft. "It's all right. We're alive. I don't know where we are. But we'll figure this out. We'll figure this out." And they both begin swimming, looking at the direction of the sun and picking what looks to be a northern position. And then the scry--

MARISHA: Do I see any land, is there an island?

MATT: You cannot see-- the scrying is specifically on her. But they are both just plopped somewhere in the ocean.

LAURA: If we would've gone through...

TALIESIN: We would've been in trouble.

LIAM: Drowning.

LAURA: Well no, we have the fucking magic carpet.

TALIESIN: That can't hold all of us.

LAURA: Oh my god.

MARISHA: I tell them what happened when I wake up. I don't even know where they could be. They're in the middle of the ocean, they could be right off the coast or hundreds of miles from here. This ocean...

TALIESIN: This is fine. We're going to go to Whitestone now, we're not going to go to Greyskull, and we're going to get Gilmore's help.

LIAM: Gilmore, yes.

MARISHA: But they're our friends, are we just going to leave them behind?

TALIESIN: We're going to get Gilmore's help.

TRAVIS: One thing at a time.

LIAM: That's right. That's right.

MARISHA: I mean. Keyleth starts hyperventilating, panicking a little bit.

LAURA: Keyleth. We need you right now.

MARISHA: They're okay, right? Allura will figure it out, right?

LAURA: She'll figure it out. She's so powerful.

LIAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: One thing at a time.

MARISHA: This is taking everything to not stay here. Okay.

TRAVIS: Still moving towards the beach, looking for live trees.

MATT: A short time later, you eventually get close to the edge of the waterline, and you do find a handful of trees that appear to be alive enough and large enough to maintain one of your spells.

MARISHA: I do a useless scan of the ocean out of desperation to see if I see anything.

MATT: Perception check.

TALIESIN: I'll join.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: Natural 20.

LAURA: (gasps)

MARISHA: It's true. It was a Gil dice, it was Gil's dice. You can see, you can see.

MATT: And add your perception bonus?

MARISHA: 31.

MATT: 31.

MARISHA: Perception's 11.

MATT: You take a moment, and you don't know if it's the sense of the scry spell and something about the arcane winds that blow through the ley lines of magic that traverse across Exandria, but something guides your attention that way, and you focus real hard, and you see just at the horizon what looks to be a very, very faint speck of movement.

TRAVIS: Shut the fuck up.

MARISHA: There they are! Oh, shit--

LAURA: I take off on the broom.

MARISHA: I don't know if that's them, I think that's them!

TALIESIN: No, wait.

PATRICK: Kerrek puts his hand on her shoulder and says, "Oh, child."

LAURA: I take off on the broom, I'm out. In the direction that she went.

PATRICK: Wishing doesn't make it so.

MARISHA: No, I know. I know, but look! Look! There's something. It could be something else, but it's something.

TALIESIN: Keyleth--

LAURA: Yeah, I'm going, I'm going. I went.

MATT: You, arcing as fast as you can on the broom, full speed, holding on to the hat as best you can. The wind of the ocean air coming past your face, the salt and the briny spray of bits of reef and rock that surround the island--

MARISHA: I'm trying to give Vex over the earpiece like a, Warmer, warmer, warmer, colder, a little-- ten degrees to your left.

MATT: Yeah, you do look out and you see both Kima and Allura swimming through the ocean, exhausted and it looks like, based on both the heavy armor that Kima's wearing and their general physical state, they're both having a hard time treading water, and they're swimming in the wrong direction.

LAURA: I fly over them and just tell them, "Hang onto the broom!"

MATT: "Oh, that's the best thing I could've hoped for seeing." And Allura reaches up and grabs your arm and says, "Kima, hold on!" And grabs the edge. You can see Kima now is like coughing up water and is trying desperately to tread water. That's a natural 20 on a strength check for Allura. Holy shit. With no modifier. Manages to hold onto both you and Kima and keep you up. I need you to make an athletics check. Just to hold on.

LAURA: 13?

MATT: 13, okay. It's enough to maintain. Carrying them both back as fast as the broom-- which is not very fast at this time. It takes you probably a good 15 or so minutes, and as the tension's going on you can see Allura getting more and more exhausted.

LAURA: Keep holding, we're almost there, darling.

MATT: I'm trying.

MARISHA: I just keep saying, "Vex? Did you find them?"

TALIESIN: I'm taking the carpet that direction.

MARISHA: Vex?

PATRICK: If it's been this long, Kerrek has given The Talk, like.

MARISHA: I'm just crying in Kerrek's shoulder right now, just bawling my eyes out.

TALIESIN: "I'll be back in a moment." I'm taking the carpet towards the speck I see on the-- and probably ten minutes in is where, I would have given it ten minutes. I'm on the way with the carpet.

LAURA: I have them.

MARISHA: I swear I saw them, I swear.

MATT: At this point, you can see Allura's grip is getting shaky on the broom now. She says, "We're almost close enough. Now." And then her and Kima vanish in a puff of dark bluish energy and appear on the carpet next to you through dimension door.

TALIESIN: (yelps) I'm so tired.

MARISHA: Still sobbing into Kerrek's shoulder.

PATRICK: It's been a slow litany of, sometimes people go and you never get them back. It's, he's giving you the wrong pep talk.

MARISHA: Oh god. So wait, maybe they were just dead and I saw their ghosts?

LAURA: We have them! We have them!

MARISHA: What? And I just cry harder.

LIAM: Vax is also listening to that, sometimes you cannot get them back, while holding Scanlan.

LAURA: (wailing) Like little Dobby in Harry Potter.

MATT: Eventually you guys manage to gather the rest of your party at the beachside. Waterlogged, Kima shakes it out, leaving this trail as her hair's all matted and into her face, and she just looks really pissed and is like, "Not a word." Allura's squeezing out the sides of her braids. "Well, now what?"

LAURA: Whitestone.

MARISHA: Let's take a tree, shall we?

MATT: Let's try. I think this definitely explains why so many folks who went to investigate this place never came back.

PATRICK: Are we as far away as we can be, like, we came in on a tree, right?

TRAVIS: We're on the beach.

MATT: You came in on a tree, yes.

PATRICK: Okay.

TALIESIN: That doesn't mean a lot, but yeah. We're as far as we can get.

MATT: So you go ahead and find the tree? All right. Hm. As you reach out and touch the side of the tree, eyes clenched tight, hoping that this is enough, you watch as the bark splits into the transportation via plants portal, and as it splits apart, you can see further internal wood striations, those split. A third layer splits, it's having to force its way through this tree, and finally it divides out and you can see the sunset-lit outside of the center of Whitestone.

TALIESIN: Oh, thank god.

MARISHA: I hold the door open like it's a closing elevator. Am I sure it's fucking Whitestone?

MATT: It appears to be Whitestone.

LAURA: We've got six seconds, go!

MARISHA: Go!

TALIESIN: I'm running for it.

MATT: You guys all charge through, making your way through the portal.

MARISHA: And I go in last.

MATT: You all step out, catching yourself, just as the tree slams behind you. There you see the faintly blossoming branches of the Sun Tree greeting you to the center of sunsetting Whitestone, together as a group, clutching Scanlan's lifeless body in your arms still, Vax. What do you do?

MARISHA: I cry to Kerr a little bit more.

TRAVIS: No, no time for that.

TALIESIN: No time.

LAURA: Get him to the castle.

MARISHA: Okay, sorry.

LAURA: Right?

MARISHA: No, should we get him to the castle or the Raven Queen's temple?

LIAM: To the temple of the Raven Queen.

MARISHA: Okay, to the temple, to the temple.

TALIESIN: Scry-- find his daughter. Scry on his daughter.

MARISHA: Okay. I use my-- oh jeez. I can't remember-- no, I didn't use any of my Scrying Eye on Raishan at all, right?

TALIESIN: No.

MARISHA: That was my spell just now. I will use my Scrying Eye now to see if I can find Kaylie.

LIAM: I'm already 50 feet towards the temple.

MATT: Okay. You guys all make your way towards the temple of the Raven Queen and the graveyard outside of Whitestone. As you're making this scry attempt with the item, go ahead and make another concentration check as you're moving along and doing this on the carpet.

MARISHA: That's cocked. That's not bad. Just a regular-- what do I use?

MATT: It's a constitution saving throw.

MARISHA: Con saving throw? Then 16.

MATT: Remember, you have warcaster, so you technically have advantage on concentration, too.

MARISHA: Oh my god, oh my god.

MATT: Don't forget that.

MARISHA: No, 16.

MATT: Okay. Little bit of a show. Okay. Your vision pulls back and is dragged fast enough through the clouds to have no sense of direction. Suddenly you feel your essence thrust downward through the clouds once more towards the closing daylight around Kymal in the center of Tal'Dorei.

MARISHA: She's in Kymal.

MATT: Looking down to the rather dirty, destitute, gambling-overrun and light-law-enforced city that Kymal is, you're pulled once more into what looks to be a tavern room, and there you see a makeshift band of very terrible performers playing, and at the back table you see Kaylie with half a flagon of ale sitting there, dagger on the table, just staring and just giving those performers shit, she's like, "You all fucking suck, you know that?"

MARISHA: Oh, I love her so much right now.

MATT: Where I come from, they'd kill you for this. That's terrible. Certainly.

MARISHA: Knowing how scrying works, and knowing that certain magic-casters can feel it-- This is going on a limb. I just yell through the scrying and audibly amongst everyone, "Kaylie! It's Scanlan!" Trying to push through the magical boundary and see if I can at least get a reaction out of her.

MATT: Okay. You're shouting this, you guys hear her doing this, and you just keep pushing forward, occasionally checking to make sure she's okay. Kaylie just keeps drinking from the flagon and is shouting out, someone comes by and you watch as she deftly nabs a little bit of coin from the pocket--

MARISHA: And I scream again, "Kaylie!"

MATT: Doesn't seem to be having an effect.

TALIESIN: Kymal.

MARISHA: God damn it, I wish you could talk to people through scrying sometimes.

LAURA: Who can send me there?

MARISHA: She's in Kymal.

LAURA: Who can send me there? I'll go.

MARISHA: Allura might be able to send her a message. Allura, do you still have any messages left?

MATT: I can cast Sending, yes.

MARISHA: Has she ever met Kaylie?

LAURA: I don't think so.

LIAM: No.

LAURA: We need to get her and bring her here.

LIAM: Can we get the other gate stone and find Shaun.

LAURA: I've got the gate stone, yes.

LIAM: We have both of them, we have them?

TALIESIN: No, we have the one gate stone.

LIAM: Yeah, doesn't your sister have the other one?

TALIESIN: She has the other one.

LIAM: Yes, find the other gate stone and find Shaun.

LAURA: Find the other gate stone. I take off to find Gilmore.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: I will go get the other gate stone.

MARISHA: I'm tapped out of teleportations.

TALIESIN: It's fine. We can make this work. And in the meantime, take him to the Raven Queen temple.

MATT: And so is Allura.

MARISHA: Tapped out of teleportation?

MATT: Yeah.

PATRICK: Now, from what I know about the Raven Queen, she is not like, oh, you can get a do-over, right?

LAURA: No.

PATRICK: She is like, you are dead and that is the line you do not cross to not come back.

LIAM: It's a little more complicated.

LAURA: Well, he is her champion.

PATRICK: Yeah, but from what I know.

MATT: From what you know as Kerrek? Yeah, she's--

PATRICK: She's the one that fucking holds this line. Like, you do not come back.

MATT: She guides you. One way or the other. She's the mistress of fate, and if your destiny is cut short, there is exception.

PATRICK: Okay, okay.

MATT: However, her real loathing is for those people who go against that natural destiny.

PATRICK: That abrogate the natural order.

MATT: Exactly.

PATRICK: Okay, right.

MATT: Unnatural, unexpected death across one's fate line is unfortunate, but it can be corrected.

PATRICK: Okay, okay.

MATT: So. You go ahead and you look for Gilmore? You find Gilmore with a big mug of coffee in his comfort robes, still recovering from the war the previous day, his hair's tousled up and he's sitting there cradling it, looking out as the sun's setting in the main common mess area of the castle, and as you walk in. "Oh, Vex'ahlia, you return!"

LAURA: I just run straight up. "Darling."

MATT: Yes, yes?

LAURA: Do you have teleportation? Do you have anything that can send me to Kymal. Kymal?

LIAM: Kymal.

LAURA: To Kymal.

MARISHA: In a tavern in Kymal.

MATT: I-- (nervous chuckle)

LAURA: Please.

MATT: I don't know of a sigil there, I'm sorry. I normally don't frequent places like that. It's a bit dastardly for my tastes. I-- I'm sorry.

LAURA: (tearfully) Do you know of a city nearby? Anything?

MATT: I mean, there's Westruun, but that sigil got destroyed too. What's wrong?

LAURA: (tearfully) I don't know what to do. Scanlan's down. We have to find his daughter.

MATT: Puts his mug down and stands up slowly. His demeanor gets very stoic and very dark. "Well. Let's see what we can do. Follow me." And he begins walking down and leads you towards the home that he's been staying here in Whitestone. He goes in, and it's barely furnished based on the original attack on Whitestone when you guys had the assassins that came after you here. It's been cleaned up but it hasn't been replaced. He goes rummaging through some things up in his room, he goes through a few bags and goes, "I don't really have many options. Is it a--"

LAURA: I just need to get there.

MATT: Have you talked to Allura?

LAURA: She's out. Out of spells.

MATT: "Hold on." And he leads you back up to the castle. What are you guys doing?

LIAM: All this time, I have laid Scanlan down in the center of the temple, and with a wet rag I have cleaned his face and combed his hair out and laid Mythcarver out next to him.

LAURA: Probably gave him some clean pants because he's covered in piss.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Yeah, you've got to scrub that down a little.

TRAVIS: I'm waiting outside the temple because I probably can't go in. Right? I can't go in there.

LAURA: Why?

TRAVIS: I don't know. I'm just me.

LIAM: While I'm cleaning, I start talking as well. You know, if it is his time, then I can accept that it is his time. But he just did an awful lot for you. That dragon was tampering with your ways, and without him we would have not gotten as far as we have. He has done a lot for you, and this isn't even bargaining anymore. I am yours. I'm not bargaining. But this little man has more heart in his chest than any man I've met. And if there is anyone who deserves a second chance... I don't know, I don't know. Your will be done.

MARISHA: I grab Grog on the outside of the temple, also standing outside, and I just grab him by his massive gigantic shoulder and say, You were closer to him than probably anyone else in this group, you knew more of his secrets than anyone else. I think it would mean something if you talked to him from beyond.

TRAVIS: How do I do that?

MARISHA: His spirit still holds on. You can still speak to his spirit and convince it to come back. Convince it to come back, Grog. You knew him. You knew him. Look inside and you will know.

TRAVIS: What, I just start talking to him?

MARISHA: And I crack the door to the temple open and try and gesture him in.

TRAVIS: Oh, in there. I'm not really religious, though, like. I don't--

MARISHA: You don't have to be religious. You had the connection with Scanlan, and you have heart. That connection speaks far stronger than any religion ever could. It's up to you. We don't know if Kaylie will make it.

TRAVIS: Right. Okay. For Scanlan, then. And I go into the temple of the Raven Queen.

MATT: Okay. Are you guys having Pike prepare the Resurrection ritual, is that what's going on?

LAURA: I guess so.

MATT: I don't know what's happening. You guys are talking to air right now.

MARISHA: Well, I was talking to Grog.

MATT: Right, right, right.

TALIESIN: Trying to put together the Resurrection ritual.

MATT: Okay, that's what I thought.

LAURA: Trying to prepare that, yeah.

LIAM: I wasn't expecting-- that wasn't part of the ritual.

MATT: Right, right.

PATRICK: So everybody here is a mess, right? And when they brought them out of the ocean, Kerrek was like-- because that shook him, you know? Because he knew at this point, now is the point where all your friends die. But these guys I can't talk to, they are all messed-- how bad are you?

TALIESIN: Outwardly I'm fine.

PATRICK: Okay.

TALIESIN: I'm in get-shit-done mode.

PATRICK: Right. I get you a little aside.

TALIESIN: I'm probably coming back down now from the castle with the stone.

PATRICK: What-- can his sister do something, or his daughter?

TALIESIN: His daughter.

PATRICK: Why-- why the urgency, I mean?

TALIESIN: Because it's the only thing I can think of that could really drag him back from wherever he is. That's my thought. I've been there, I've experienced this.

PATRICK: Been where?

TALIESIN: I've died. And you need to... it's not easy. And you need to-- not everything cuts through. You need to find the right thing to cut through, and I think this might be it. So it's where I'm putting my bets.

MATT: Allura approaches and says, "If we can wait until tomorrow, I can take us there, but-- I just, I have no means of--"

MARISHA: What about--

LAURA: I feel like it's bad to wait.

MARISHA: Oh jeez, I don't know his name.

MATT: Vex, as you're brought up to the castle, Gilmore is tugging your arm, and you see he has a haste to him, and he's like, "Where's Eskil? Where's Eskil? Has he returned? Please, somebody, give me this answer. Anyone." And you watch as some of the guards come up and like, "Eskil's been back in his research at the ziggurat for the better part of a week, now."

TALIESIN: Guards, you're with Gilmore, you will get him into any room in the castle immediately without question.

MATT: Yes sir, yes sir.

TALIESIN: Now.

MATT: Pulls you down, and you rush down past the Ziggurat, and Eskil's returning with his servant. This older hunched form. It looks like they finished their work for the day and, as you all begin rushing down the hall to the ziggurat beneath Whitestone, he says, "Oh, hello. We're finished, there's no reason to--"

LAURA: Teleportation.

MATT: It's a very strange, very--

LAURA: Shaun.

MATT: -- unique magic, yes, of course.

LAURA: Can you do it?

MATT: Peh. Child's play, really.

LAURA: Then can you send me to Kymal, please?

MATT: Kymal?

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: Why would you want to--

LAURA: Urgently, darling.

MATT: "Shaun--" Shaun kind of goes, "If you want to be of use to anybody right now, buddy, this is the way to do it." (sputters) "Kymal. All right. Heh, that's a one-way trip, so you're paying for room and board."

LAURA: "Sure." I give Shaun a kiss on the cheek.

MATT: All right. Have you guys caught up at this point?

TALIESIN: I'm at the temple, I've sent them off to deal with this.

MATT: All right. So we go-- what are you looking for?

LAURA: I'm looking for a tavern, probably the only one in town.

MATT: All right, I'll take you there, and that's where we're staying for the night. We'll return tomorrow.

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: "All right. (sighs) It's been a while." And he reaches out and grabs your hand. "Be back in a day!" And begins doing this incantation. As he traces his fingers through the air, you watch these lines begin to connect, and he's tracing almost this mystical map of the portions of Tal'Dorei, and as each finger hits a point you see him connect a thread. As he connects a thread, both of you blink out and appear in the middle of this busy cobblestone street. You can hear what sounds like raucous laughter and shouting in the distance from two different directions. You can see now as the night has gone from a bright orange and purple to the dark reds and blues of post-sunset. There are a couple of what look to be guards wandering the street, but they themselves look to be laughing and probably a little tipsy in their own right. You see many humans, and you see a couple of half-orcs. You actually see two gnolls and what looks to be a goblin that are wandering amongst those people in the street. Kymal is, and you've passed through before. Kymal is-- it's the real-- it's the seedy Reno of Tal'Dorei, if you will.

MARISHA: I mean, Reno's already pretty seedy, so.

MATT: It's not Laughlin level. It's not-- sorry, Laughlin.

MARISHA: Sorry, Reno.

MATT: Go ahead and make an investigation check.

LAURA: I'm just terrified of all my dice.

LIAM: High rolls.

LAURA: 16?

MATT: 16, okay.

LAURA: Wait, but I didn't add anything to that. Investigation... that's a 23.

MATT: Okay, yeah. Asking questions rapidly around, dragging Eskil behind, he's like, "Where are we going? (grumbling)" Asking to where the worst performers you've seen perform in this town, and everyone keeps pointing you to this one place that's up on this one hill towards the back of the Ironseat Ridge, which is the mountain that Kymal is up against. As you walk into the tavern, you see a little more than a dozen people in various clusters. Some of them are ready to go, they've been drinking since sundown and they're already pretty sauced. There's a terrible off-key band in the corner of four people, three gentlemen and a lady--

TALIESIN: Terrible band name.

MATT: It's a terrible band name. And it's pretty bad. And there you see, half-slumped over in the corner at the table, you see Kaylie, just ready to pass out at the end.

LAURA: Fuck. Stay by the bar. I'll be right back.

MATT: Should I get our rooms?

LAURA: Fine. Yes, darling.

MATT: One room-- two rooms, she's paying, hold on.

LAURA: And I run off.

MATT: And he walks over towards the bar.

LIAM: He's going to be so pissed.

MARISHA: Yeah he is, he's going to be so pissed.

PATRICK: Ditch him.

MARISHA: I so approve of this, by the way. This is the way to do this. Okay, byeeee.

LIAM: Sorry!

MARISHA: Sorry!

MATT: Kaylie at the table.

LAURA: Kaylie.

MATT: What do you want from me.

LAURA: I smack her across the cheek.

MATT: "You--" She grabs the dagger and grabs you by the front of the shirt and brings it--

LAURA: Darling, your father! Scanlan. Tell me you're sober.

MATT: Oh, I remember you.

LAURA: Are you sober?

MATT: I'm never sober.

LAURA: Ah, fuck. Your father's hurt.

MATT: I don't want to deal with him right now. Tell him-- look.

LAURA: "Kaylie!" And I pick her up and bring her up to my eye-level.

MATT: I will kick your ass right now if you keep treating me like this.

LAURA: Your father. He died. But there's a chance we can bring him back, if you're willing to help.

MATT: "How'd he die?" And she's still being held up, reaches over and grabs her tankard. Her feet still dangling.

LAURA: Defending everyone. Saving the fucking land, can you believe it?

MATT: Who would want a death like that?

LAURA: He died with piss all over him.

MATT: That sounds like my father.

LAURA: Will you go?

MATT: And what?

LAURA: Will you help? Kaylie.

MATT: And help what?

LAURA: I set her on the table so we're still eye-level. All his words were of you. Look, I know a little bit about having a father who wasn't around. Right? Take it from me. It's not worth it. It's not worth harboring this hatred in your heart. If you can find it in yourself to forgive him, you'll live a much happier life.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

PATRICK: (singing) My father wasn't around...

LAURA and MARISHA: (singing) My father wasn't around...

MARISHA: Come on, Vex, come on.

LAURA: 25.

MATT: She looks at you for a second. You can see her kind of frustrated piss-off facade drops a little and her eyes sink below. "I really don't know what you think I can do, but, I mean. At the very least, I'd like to see his body before it's interred."

LAURA: I pull out the stone and I put it in her hand. Concentrate. Concentrate on him. It'll bring you to him, I swear.

MATT: (sighs) So much strangeness surrounds you folks every time I cross paths with you, it seems.

LAURA: Please. Kaylie.

MATT: Can I take my drink?

LAURA: You can take whatever you want. Just promise me you'll try.

MATT: She holds the stone for a second and looks at it. Squints an eye. "Listen, if you're trying to take the piss out of me--" And her form just vanishes from the table. It is pushing 11:20. I think we will pick this up right there next week here in Whitestone for the ritual.

LIAM: All night long, man, all night long.

MATT: I'm trying to push the narrative as long as I can get, trying to get to a point, but yeah, this is building and I don't want to drag us in here.

LAURA: It's just going.

MARISHA: Gah, it's going to be another Percy situation.

MATT: I know.

MARISHA: Scanlan's going to be dead for a week.

MATT: I can't force narrative.

MARISHA: Schrodinger's Scanlan.

MATT: Can't force narrative. All right, well, we will pick this up next week.

TALIESIN: Ironically of course, also, I don't think we have Sam next week.

MARISHA: Sam won't be here!

LAURA: Yeah, he's not here next--

MATT: Sam can't be here next week. Oh, that's going to be interesting.

LIAM: Push the narrative all night long like Lionel Ritchie, come on.

SAM: Get used to it!

(all laugh)

LAURA: No, Sam!

MATT: Oh, snap.

TALIESIN: Dick!

LIAM: If we wait, he's going to write us off.

TRAVIS: I hear him! I hear him from beyond!

LAURA: See, Grog? See?

MATT: All right, well, we'll figure it out. If worse comes to worst, I'll play him, or we'll see if he can Skype in. We'll see. I don't know what he's doing. I know he's gone. Like a tool.

MARISHA: Oh yeah, maybe he can Skype in.

TALIESIN: We can totally, like Zod in the mirror.

MATT: That's true. All right, well. With that, the Conclave lies destroyed.

LAURA: Oh my god.

MARISHA: (whoops)

MATT: Raishan's plot still not uncovered. One of two deaths reversed, one still on the line. The tethering of the soul to the body withering with each fall. And a surprisingly low-level paladin getting the final blow on an ancient green dragon.

LAURA: Nice!

TALIESIN: Way to David that goliath, man.

LAURA: Yeah, right?

MARISHA: Like, legit, we were all talking, we thought you were going to die.

PATRICK: Why do you think I showed up?

TALIESIN: We were like, I wonder if he's going to totally Coulson, I wonder if he's just going to Coulson on us.

MARISHA: We thought you were going to be our Agent Coulson, yeah.

MATT: I honestly prepared that to be this-- like, we talked about that on the break, it would've been an awesome heroic end to the story.

PATRICK: That's why I was here. I was going to throw my body in front of someone.

MATT: It just happened to work out that she was pinned straight to the side--

TRAVIS: Well, you didn't do a very good job of it, Patrick.

PATRICK: Oh, believe me, Kerrek much would've rather died than have this particular outcome.

MARISHA: Shoot for the moon, sometimes you'll land at the how do you want to do this.

MATT: I like that.

LIAM: Also, Feeblemind? Natural 20 on scanning the ocean?

LAURA: Pretty fucking great.

LIAM: Pretty amazing.

MATT: Yeah.

PATRICK: That was...

MARISHA: I had a few lucky rolls.

LAURA: Keyleth and Kerr MVPs for sure.

TALIESIN: Somebody conquered some personal demons, this week.

MARISHA: Yeah, I was waiting for this.

MATT: Well, Sam, we love you. Wherever you are.

TALIESIN: You're still an awkward mess, but you know.

MARISHA: Keyleth will always be an awkward mess. As much character growth as you can have, you're still always you.

TALIESIN: There will always be a pit of fire.

MARISHA: She will always be awkward. I will always trip and fall and faceplant in lava.

TALIESIN: It's beautiful.