Transcript:A Tangled Web

Pre-Show
MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

TRAVIS: (hollering) We play Dungeons & Dragons!

MATT: Indeed. We missed you guys for last week but you had a chance to check out our amazing Vox Machina Wedding One-Shot. We hope you had a chance to check it out. If you haven't yet, it's available on our YouTube. It's kind of awesome. We do have a few announcements to get to before we get into tonight's episode, beginning with one of our two sponsors, NordVPN. Sam, if you don't mind taking it away?

SAM: Guys, new sponsor tonight, NordVPN. But bleep, block, blork, leet haxors, don't call me Sam, use my Dark Net user name, blackwillow73@aol.com. Yeah, I've been spinning my web, cracking some crypto all day. You know, doing some brute force spear fishing, jail-breaking the malware, all for the lulz, hacker style. Now it's time to jack into the mainframe. (laughter) With some crash code I devved up. Here we go, oh, firewall with a data net, (scoffs) easy money, I'll go through the backdoor. Password, (scoffs), it's swordfish, it's always swordfish. What's this? NordVPN is protecting my target? Oh guys, NordVPN is a personal virtual private network service provider with more than 5,000 servers in 60 countries and they're sponsoring tonight's episode of Critical Role. Let's see if I can hack through NordVPN's elegant, yet easy to use system. Running syshack.exe. Uploading the virus. Re-flopping the binary. God, no! Iced out, me, blackwillow73?! Listen, cybersecurity may seem complex but NordVPN makes it easy with cutting edge tech that shields your internet activity from hackers. (laughter) From hackers like me. It protects you on public wifi networks, even blocks annoying ads. But I've got one more digital ace up my sleeve. Debugging the worm, defragging the root kit, gleaming the cube. No! My system's offline, I've been sliced. These NordVPN servers are super fast and their users get unlimited bandwidth for all their internet needs and right now, they have a special offer for you Critters when you sign up at nordvpn.com/criticalrole and use the code Critical Role, you get 75%, 75% off? Jesus, that's a lot. 75% off a three year plan and an extra month free. Protect yourself online today. Back to you, Matt.

TRAVIS: Wow.

LAURA: Are you looking at Matt?

MATT: I can't tell, I feel like somewhere, Matt Lillard's getting a nosebleed and doesn't know why. I'm so sorry.

TALIESIN: Angelina Jolie owes us a sequel to Hackers now.

TRAVIS: We hacked a new hope.

MATT: Hack the planet, guys. Hack the planet.

TALIESIN: I love how they--

TRAVIS: Hack the planet.

TALIESIN: They can see your screensaver in the reflection in your glasses.

SAM: Oh no. (laughter) I'm hacking right now, guys.

MATT: All right, thank you, Sam. Thank you, Sam.

TALIESIN: Thank you, Sam.

MATT: Thank you, NordVPN. The other part of good news is because NordVPN came in today, D&D Beyond, you are absolved (laughter) of Sam Riegel skewering your wonderful service. So I get to say huge thanks to D&D Beyond for being a continued sponsor and supporter of Campaign Two along with us for now looking up like two years in the next few months, which is crazy. If you guys haven't checked it out or if it's your first time hearing about it, D&D Beyond is an amazing online digital service for keeping track of all your D&D character elements, all your campaign elements, monsters, magical items both official and home-brewed, adventure settings, it's good stuff. We use it here on the show, it's amazing, check it out at d&dbeyond.link;/criticalrole for additional information and what they're all about. Next week, we're taking a break from our regularly scheduled episode of Critical Role. I will be flying to Sweden because I will be at Heroes Comic-Con Stockholm in Sweden. I'm excited to meet a bunch of the Critters up there in the Northern European area. I've only been to Sweden once like 15 years ago in Goteborg, so I've been really excited to actually check out Stockholm for the first time and meet a bunch of you folks. If you want to check out details about it, go to critrole.com/events to figure out what's going on that weekend if you happen to be coming. I'm excited to see you guys.

TRAVIS: Marisha, you can do an accent from Sweden, right?

MARISHA: Oh, ja. Hallo.

MATT: No, I have to go there.

MARISHA: Oh, ja. Kitty cat fireball, ja.

MATT: That's really not--

LAURA: It's from Sweden, I understand now.

MATT: I've been there and most people don't have accents, actually. And, this fly is going to be a problem. Can you hack the fly for us, Sam?

LAURA: Hold on. Let me get a kitchen knife.

SAM: Starting my sys.ini file.

MATT: Oh, god.

SAM: Got my Gateway 2000. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Netscape baby, Netscape.

SAM: Hacked. That fly will be dead in 15 to 20 days. (laughter) He just doesn't know it yet.

MATT: As a person that did IT for a number of years, this hurts my soul. All right, anyway. Stockholm. Also, as we continue work on the animated series, The Legend of Vox Machina, we want to start including elements of you guys as part of the creative process. We are now asking for your help to design a tavern keeper character that will be appearing in the series.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

MATT: Check out our poll at critrole.com/wanted to chime in and join us on Tuesday, December 17th as well at 7:00pm. here on Twitch where we get to announce what the tavern keeper's going to be that you guys have helped brought to life. Head there now, critrole.com/wanted to be part of this and when the poll's over, go ahead and join us that Tuesday to figure it out, super excited.

LIAM: ♪ Wanted. ♪

LAURA: I can't organize my dice because of all of Sam's hacker gear.

SAM: Let me see what I can do. It's been hacked.

LAURA: I don't understand.

MATT: I'm not going to lie, I kind of like this Mr. Robot re-inventioning. I would watch the shit out of this version.

TRAVIS: Just un-jack him, Laura.

SAM: Oh, yeah.

LIAM: The Rami Malek thing is--

MARISHA: I was going to say, too far.

SAM: No! I've been sliced.

MATT: Okay. (laughter) Oh my god.

LIAM: Could you give us a solid six seconds of monotone, please?

SAM: Mono, oh, you mean Rami Malek monotone?

LIAM: Yeah.

SAM: (mumbled) I don't know what you're talking about.

MATT: That's really good. All right. Laura.

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: Hi.

LAURA: Hi. Oh well, darlings, I don't know if you noticed during the one-shot but--

TALIESIN: Oh look, look at that.

LAURA: Our fabulous Vex and Percy wedding ring which we designed.

TALIESIN: We did.

LAURA: Well, we helped design.

TALIESIN: Yeah, they helped, too.

(laughs)

LAURA: Are available for pre-order right now in the shop in the US, so check them out if you want to. They're pretty, they're fancy, they're Vexy.

TRAVIS: Oh boy.

SAM: Wow.

LAURA: Yeah, I just made that up on the spot. There's a reason I don't do the promos.

MATT: There's something so elegant about the contrast of this beautiful ring and a Vex'ahlia persona and a Casa Bonita Dive Team t-shirt. (laughter) It just spells quality.

SAM: ♪ Casa Bonita ♪

MATT: Oh, yeah. Thank you, Laura. Liam, you wanted to have a cool little announcement.

LIAM: Oh man, we have got a little treatsie for you tonight. Since we are rolling into this game at level 10, we thought it was the perfect time to unveil our new character art by artist Ariana Orner, @ornerine. She did the first batch of official art for this campaign. She's doing this one, she's doing the whole campaign. They are mouth watering, just put her on the fucking screen.

MARISHA: Cooler clothes!

ALL: Whoa!

MARISHA: Look at how dope we are!

LAURA: Look how tall you are, Caduceus.

TALIESIN: I'm very tall. He's a tall, tall guy, well, to be fair.

ALL: Yeah.

LIAM: Look at those fucking abs on Beauregard!

TALIESIN: Look at that purloined coat.

MARISHA: Hell yeah.

LIAM: Look at that anxiety-whited hair on Fjord.

SAM: Look at that sword.

TALIESIN: Oh, that sword is so nice.

LIAM: David Bowie Caduceus.

TALIESIN: Yep, yep.

LIAM: Yasha metal. Jester bluebells.

LAURA: Look at the beading on her coat, you guys, it is so pretty.

LIAM: Can we get a zoom in on Nott's face? Man, look at those eyes.

TALIESIN: Let's talk about the button necklace.

SAM: The button necklace is pretty great.

TALIESIN: The button necklace is amazing.

TRAVIS: The details are so amazing.

LIAM: As we've seen in game, that goblin will straight up kill you.

MARISHA: Yeah, that quilted jacket. I want that in real life.

LAURA: Nott's embracing her sexy.

LIAM: The yellow is great.

SAM: Keep scanning around. Let's see some other people details. Wow.

LIAM: You got hacked.

LAURA: You got sliced.

SAM: DDoS. Right? Denial of service.

TALIESIN: You're un-jacked.

SAM: I'm un-jacked.

LIAM: By the way, if anyone wants to see this art in full, individual portraits, you can go over to critrole.com right now, it's there now.

MATT: Yeah, all those awesome Xhorhasian outfits you guys had made while you were in Rosohna, I love it.

LIAM: Ariana killed it, thank you, Ariana.

MATT: Thank you, Ariana.

TRAVIS: So much.

MATT: All righty.

TALIESIN: Oh, man.

MATT: Without further ado, let's go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role.

LIAM: (goat screaming)

(water bubbling) (thunder rumbling) (explosion booming) ♪ Role, Critical ♪ ♪ Role, Critical ♪ ♪ Role, Critical ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪ ♪ The adventure begins, they were always beside you ♪ ♪ Your nerdy best friends and the DM to guide you ♪ ♪ And they rise from the flames for the battle ahead ♪ ♪ Villains beware 'cause you're 'bout to be dead ♪ ♪ They got magic and flare, they got falchions and cunning ♪ ♪ They don't see over there, there's a monster incoming ♪ ♪ Inspiration is waiting, rise up, don't think twice ♪ ♪ Put your fate in your hands, take a chance ♪ ♪ Roll the dice, roll the dice ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪ ♪ Can you answer the call, diggin' deep in your soul ♪ ♪ As the legend unfolds, now it's your turn ♪ ♪ Your turn, your turn ♪ ♪ To roll ♪ (flames whooshing)

Part I
MATT: And welcome back.

LAURA: What?

MATT: I don't know what that was, but sure.

TALIESIN: Panic.

MATT: Last we left off, the Mighty Nein had made their way northward to the Greying Wildlands, had made contact with the keepers of the Cinderrest Sanctum, the Burning Lodge where the Dust family with the connection to the Clay family was brought with an interesting challenge of the Clay family trying to bring some of these visions to bear in some way to protect their home grove.

ALL: Oh.

SAM: There's an audio glitch tonight.

MATT: Got you.

SAM: I hacked it.

MATT: Goddamn it. You managed to acquire some of this refined residuum and processed it as per this vision in the Underforge and in doing so, completed one aspect of this vision. You also made friends with Reani, an amazing aasimar druid who was living in Uthodurn and aided you towards the cavern lair of an ancient white dragon where you enchanted mithral to iceflex and returned to have two halves of a long, shattered magical sword reforged. Now, at the hands of Fjord, who had tossed his previous blade and his pact with Uk'otoa into the flames and spent a period of time powerless and in search for direction, accepted a charge from the Wildmother herself and begins his first day on the path of a paladin. So, as we pick up here, you guys have said your goodbyes to Reani, who has returned to Uthodurn to hopefully take on some of that contract that she had agreed to, to aid you guys in configuring your Circle of Teleportation to Uthodurn and it seemed like she was interested in going into some adventure and some bad insanity anyway. Says her goodbyes. It's now midday or so, you guys are at the Cinderrest Sanctum. It's warm and it's sweaty on the inside. It is cold after a fresh snow on the outside. What would you like to do?

SAM: What do we do?

LAURA: What are we doing now that we have this sword?

MARISHA: Yeah, we found the forge.

SAM: Did you do the thing that you needed to do, Mr. Caduceus?

TALIESIN: I'm having a dice attack. I've started what I need to do.

TRAVIS: I want to thank you all, I'll be leaving now, thank you. Goodbye, it was lovely knowing you all. Appreciate it.

SAM: You can't leave.

TALIESIN: Roll for initiative.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Take his stuff!

TRAVIS: Fools!

LIAM: Well, Caduceus, is there a next step in what you wish to get accomplished? I will need to return to Rosohna for a short spell, but--

TALIESIN: I think we should gather and regroup and I definitely have some next steps that I have to take. Let's figure out where we all are first and maybe have a moment of celebration. This is about you right now.

TRAVIS: I'm so thankful, this is incredible. It's more than I could have expected. It's a beautiful sword. Truly.

SAM: What did you do to deserve it?

TRAVIS: Nothing. (stammers)

LAURA: Everything.

TRAVIS: Well, Caduceus gave it to me.

LAURA: Fjord is very noble and he turned down ultimate power so that he could be a better person.

SAM: Wow, that's pretty bold.

TRAVIS: Well, some, some power.

LAURA: Like it would have been, he could have controlled the seas basically and he said "No, I don't want to do that. I'm going to say no and I'm going to be just a normal person." And we rewarded that with his, um, sword.

SAM: Why'd you say it like that?

LAURA: I don't know.

(laughter)

SAM: I mean, it sounds like you did a lot to deserve it, then.

TRAVIS: I won't lie, it feels good to have this back and to not weigh you all down. I know you said that I didn't, but it means a lot.

SAM: I mean, it seems right that you would give back all of our stuff now though, right? I mean the stuff that we loaned you?

TRAVIS: Yes, yes, of course, there were so many. I have the glove and I have the dagger, of course. And the whip. Did you want the whip?

LAURA: You're so strong now, though. I feel like the whip is really appropriate for you.

MARISHA: Yeah, you do feel like, are you like an endomorph? You just like stack on some muscle--

TRAVIS: I got a little swole, yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah, but it was like two workouts.

TRAVIS: I slept like nine hours last night, it was amazing.

LAURA: That seaweed wrap, man, it'll get you.

MARISHA: Maybe I should start eating better.

LAURA: Potentially.

TRAVIS: Yes, but those push-ups and sit-ups I'm sure helped as well.

MARISHA: I feel called out.

LAURA: You're still very swole.

MARISHA: Thank you.

LAURA: But you always were.

MARISHA: Thank you.

TRAVIS: The Glove of Blasting, would you like it back?

LIAM: Oh. No. You hold onto that.

TRAVIS: Thank you.

LIAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Would you like the dagger for its lock-closing abilities?

SAM: If you don't want it, I wouldn't say no. You know, whatever you need. I mean, I don't want to upset a holy man.

TRAVIS: Hah! Uh. (clears throat) Nott, I don't know if I'm holy. I'm just committed to affecting good, positive change.

SAM: Does this mean you can't have sex ever again?

TRAVIS: I did not read that in any bylines of any dream that I had.

SAM: Is that how it works?

TALIESIN: I'm pretty sure that's not how that works, no.

SAM: I think it is, I've read about holy people and I think you have to take a vow of chastity and a vow of silence.

TRAVIS: Is that right?

SAM: That's what I read.

LAURA: This is why you should've followed the Traveler.

TRAVIS: No sex and shut up.

SAM: You can't talk or have sex. Which weirdly, if you don't talk, it makes sex even better. It's like cool and mysterious.

LAURA: This is not what I've heard.

TRAVIS: I don't want to upset the Wildmother, so--

LIAM: Those two things aside, do you plan to go about your business in a different way now somehow?

TRAVIS: Mm.

LIAM: Too soon to tell.

SAM: Vow of silence.

TRAVIS: Mm.

LIAM: All right.

TALIESIN: This is going to be-- Yeah.

MARISHA: This is weird.

SAM: For the next 60 episodes. Oh no, he's a mime!

(laughter)

He's a mime-lock.

LIAM: Yeah, but now try that with your original accent that you introduced us.

TRAVIS: (grunting) ♪ (Grunting) ♪

SAM: It's Slingblade!

LIAM: Very good with accents.

TRAVIS: Perhaps not the silence part, though.

MARISHA: You shouldn't go without the sex part, either.

TRAVIS: Fair enough.

MARISHA: Because like that's stupid.

TALIESIN: Perhaps we make our way home or at the very least, do we have any further research to do on the King Who Crawls? The creatures that we're going to be meeting? It's hard to concentrate with this thing.

MARISHA: Fucking fly!

TALIESIN: It's really driving me insane.

LAURA: Where did that even come from?

TRAVIS: Don't ask questions.

SAM: It came from the Wildmother.

LAURA: Oh my god, if you can get it--

LIAM: Hexblade Warlock.

TRAVIS: It'll be great.

(electric shocks)

ALL: Whoa.

SAM: Did that hurt?

LAURA: Oh, shit!

TRAVIS: Not a paladin.

(laughter)

LAURA: Ow.

TALIESIN: How hard would it be to return home at this point?

LIAM: Not hard at all.

TALIESIN: Do we continue up here in?

LAURA: Like home, home?

TALIESIN: Well--

LIAM: Yeah, which home, do you mean Rosohna or to the Xhorhaus? I can take us there, Jester. Oh dear.

TALIESIN: We will be able to concentrate again someday.

LIAM: Perhaps maybe you could message ahead this time. I need to visit that prison again.

SAM: Oh, yes.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: A couple of days maybe, at the most.

LAURA: Do you want me to, okay, yes.

LIAM: Yeah, we just need to alert them at that library that we plan to come.

LAURA: Oh yes, I can send a message to the library.

MARISHA: What are you planning to get out of that woman that you haven't already?

LIAM: I didn't get anything out of that woman already.

TALIESIN: There was a time element to that, though, was there not?

LIAM: I was not prepared to run into my past, perhaps. I think that I need to-- That's behind me and I have not walked as far as that woman has and I think I want to try to understand her better.

MARISHA: All right.

LIAM: She's going to die.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

LIAM: I will watch it if they will permit me.

LAURA: Why?

LIAM: She deserves it.

LAURA: She deserves, like how do you mean she deserves it?

LIAM: I assume she has not had much empathy offered to her. And thus, she offers no empathy, nor will she anymore, but things maybe would be better for me if there had been a little more empathy and there was not.

LAURA: But there is now.

MARISHA: This isn't some sort of, like, weird, masochistic self-projection type of thing, is it?

LIAM: Oh, why not both?

(chuckles)

LAURA: Should I send a message to Scribewarden Uvesic then right now? Are we going like now?

LIAM: Does anyone have anything they wish to wrap up here before we go? Caduceus.

TALIESIN: I've taken care of everything I need here. I believe. The next part of what I need to do isn't here, if I recall.

MATT: No, you were given visions of a jungle oasis.

SAM: Then let's go, oh wait. We're going back to Rosahna, Rosohna, Rosahna. Yeah, that's right. I was just making sure. There was some other things that we learned recently last night. The Jagendoths, the Jagendohths.

MARISHA: The Jagentoths who funded--

SAM: But that's not around here.

MARISHA: -- The Iron Shepherds. Well, kind of, hang on.

TRAVIS: They were around the ruins of--

TALIESIN: Little catch-up.

MARISHA: It was that-- the people from Reani's past. She also had dealings and were searching for the Jagentoths as well, if I'm remembering correctly.

MATT: She's had negative experiences with the Jagentoths in the past and there was a connection that was made.

SAM: We had a letter, we found a letter, right?

MATT: Correct.

MATT: The Tumblecarve residence seemed to connect their business.

MARISHA: That's right, Tumblecartes. Tumblecarves.

MATT: The Jagentoths were based in Shadycreek Run.

MARISHA: Yeah, and dealt in the slave trade.

SAM: That's not pressing to us right now. We have to figure out what the Laughing Hand's doing. Get back to business, real business.

MARISHA: Unfortunately, there are thugs and shitty people all over the world.

LAURA: And Traveler-Con is coming up.

MARISHA: Yeah, when is Traveler-Con?

LIAM: How far off is that, yeah? LAURA: It's, um-- pretty, kind of soon.

MATT: It's roughly seven to eight weeks.

LAURA: Seven to eight weeks?!

MATT: If I recall correctly.

MARISHA: We've got to start building our costumes.

LAURA: I know, there's like a lot of crap that goes in. I need to talk to the Traveler a lot about it. You all want to come? It's going to be super fun.

TALIESIN: I think I'd definitely have to say yes.

SAM: I've never cosplayed before.

LAURA: You'll be really good. I can make us all Traveler outfits and stuff.

SAM: Ooh, great.

TRAVIS: Do we need to check in with the Bright Queen at all?

TALIESIN: Yes, that would be a smart thing to do, I think.

LAURA: Okay, I'm going to send a message then, okay?

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: All right, I'm going to send a message to Scribewarden Uvesic.

MATT: Scribewarden Uvesic at, within the--

LIAM: Steeple.

LAURA: So that they know we're coming. Right? That's what you want us to do?

LIAM: So we don't blow up their shit like we did that last time.

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay.

MATT: You guys are going to Uthodurn first?

SAM: No.

MARISHA: Rosohna.

SAM: No, we're going to Xhorhas.

MATT: The Scribewarden is in Uthodurn.

LAURA: I'm glad that you asked that.

MATT: I know it's been a couple of weeks.

LAURA: Yeah, I'm going to send a message to Essek and let him know that we're coming to the palace.

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Yeah? Or does it matter? Because we can just show up there.

MARISHA: Yeah, we can just show up, right?

TALIESIN: What's the easiest travel?

LIAM: Let's, as an act of good faith, let's Essek know that we are coming.

LAURA: Okay, I'm going to send a message to Essek.

LIAM: Yes, please.

LAURA: Hi Essek. We're wrapping it up up here. On our way back to the palace. Just wanted to give you a heads up because we are very polite.

MATT: "It is very good to see that you survived your encounter with the dragon. I guess we will prepare for your arrival."

LAURA: He sounded really excited.

SAM: That's great.

TALIESIN: Who wouldn't be?

MARISHA: Okay.

SAM: Where do we do this?

LIAM: Well, we could do it here. Are we sure we are ready to go?

SAM: Yeah, let's go.

LAURA: What else are we going to do?

MATT: There was something you commissioned--

TALIESIN: I picked it up already.

LAURA: I'll just make snow angels while--

TRAVIS: Actually, while you're preparing, I wouldn't mind spending a moment with this sword. I think I might be able to use it in the same way I did my falchion before.

SAM: Great. You mean like make it disappear and reappear?

TRAVIS: Yeah, precisely.

SAM: Cool.

LAURA: Ooh! I'm going to do snow angels and watch you concentrate.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: So for an hour, you make snow angels and concentrate on Fjord as you sit and center yourself, connecting and extending your blade pact with your new weapon.

MARISHA: Hey Fjord, hey Fjord.

TRAVIS: I'm trying to really focus in on--

MARISHA: Okay, I'll give you a minute. Let me know when you're done.

TRAVIS: I'm going to be here for a minute. Was there something you needed immediately?

MARISHA: I'm just curious, could you theoretically do this with anything? Could you make anything disappear and reappear? With the power of your mind?

TRAVIS: What do you mean anything?

MARISHA: I'm just saying, this is prime territory for some real good pranks. Like could you bring a toilet back or away, like--

TRAVIS: No, no.

MARISHA: Say Nott is on the toilet and then you will it away. What happens, can you do that?

TRAVIS: Nott and the toilet or just the toilet?

MARISHA: Can you do Nott, too?! Can you do people?!

TRAVIS: I don't think I can do either. I think it's only weapons.

MARISHA: You should try it sometime.

TRAVIS: All right.

MARISHA: I'll let you finish. Just think it over.

TRAVIS: I will.

MARISHA: Okay.

TRAVIS: And I will try and push the image of Nott on the toilet out of my head.

MATT: Okay. All right.

LIAM: Nott on the pot.

TRAVIS: (screeching)

SAM: (screeching)

LIAM: Just white-knuckling a chamberpot. (screeching)

MATT: It's strange. Whenever you've connected with a pact weapon, whenever you've bonded with your blades previously, it's always been like a relay. Like you're borrowing a tether from something dark and cold but from below, representing Uk'otoa's gift and then using it to tether the weapon to you. This, the tether comes from within. It's still the same dark tether that you recall in your mind's eye as you concentrate, but the source is just yourself and it's weirdly comforting to not, to not sense it being something so directly borrowed. As soon as you finish your period of concentration, you feel the blade connect. You can feel the cold of the iceflex curl across your fingers and your skin numbs momentarily as you feel this blade become one with you and whatever this dark seed you still hold within you is. As you open your eyes and look at it in your hands, you turn it over and (whoosh). You guys watch as the blade seems to crumple to snow and then vanish from his hand.

TRAVIS: Oh, ho, ho, ho.

MARISHA: That's so cool.

TRAVIS: That's pretty incredible.

SAM: Can you get it back?

TRAVIS: It's a one time usage, that was it.

SAM: It seems like such a waste.

TRAVIS: I know.

SAM: We have to go to the dragon again.

TRAVIS: I'll be going now, thank you, I'll go. Yes, I will try and re-summon the broadsword.

MATT: You see a flash of blue light and the blade itself just emerges out of where his open palm was. He grasps the edge and a familiar splash of water shoots forth, similar to where he had previously summoned his weapon. Except where it lands, it's freezing cold and a bit of frost is left behind.

LAURA: That was really cool, Fjord.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: I walk over where Jester is doing snow angels and I'll make it disappear and make it snow. Thank you, Jester.

(light clapping)

TALIESIN: It's the little things.

TRAVIS: You've been more than accommodating, I'm ready now.

LIAM: This has mostly been finished for like 40 minutes. I just need to do a couple lines, are we ready?

SAM: Let's do it.

LIAM: Okay. Remember, quickly.

LAURA: Hold on, I need about 10 more minutes.

SAM: Oh boy.

TRAVIS: How many snow angels have you made?

LAURA: 50.

MARISHA: It's really pretty, she's making like a mandala, you see that?

(laughter)

MATT: At that moment, out of your moment of concentration looking upon the mountainside with the fresh snowfall, there are dozens and dozens of Jester shapes.

LAURA: All right, all right, all right. You can go now, I'm done.

TRAVIS: What if somebody was like "Oh my god, the forces on that peak."

MARISHA: It's crop circles, it's Ancient Aliens, dude.

MATT and MARISHA: Ancient alien theorists suggest--

LIAM: Sword-voring. (laughter) There is also a small, poorly drawn Jester angel outside the circle because he was bored. (whooshes) Go, go, everybody go.

SAM: Go, go, go, go, go.

MATT: The circle glows, you all rush inside of it. Feel yourselves pulled through that familiar thrust of teleportation, dragging you into the darkness and then all of you stepping out beneath the Lucid Bastion in Rosohna. Remember to mark off your material components for it. The guards turn but now they seem to have grown a little more used to your independent visages and there isn't any sort of moment of extreme tension. They turn and then go back to their post.

LIAM: That change in temperature, so good.

SAM: Do we need to check in with anyone at the palace or just go straight to the prison cell, or?

LIAM: Don't go straight.

MARISHA: We have been avoiding the BQ.

TRAVIS: You've literally blocked your mouth from everyone who can see you.

MARISHA: Sorry.

TRAVIS: It would serve--

MARISHA: -- the BQ.

TRAVIS: There you go.

SAM: The Bright, the Bright Queen.

LIAM: BQ.

MARISHA: BQ.

(laughter)

SAM: Should we go see her BQ-ness?

LAURA: If she'll see us. I mean, we can't just walk in on her. She's really important.

LIAM: Yeah, we have to make a request.

SAM: But do we have anything to report? We haven't done anything towards our--

LIAM: Yeah, I don't think that we should bother her straightaway. I think that we should talk to Essek. I need to make my request. I've already been told it would be all right, but I don't know the timing.

TALIESIN: It's possible to see if there's been any sightings of the creature.

SAM: Essek would know.

TALIESIN: Yes.

LIAM: Are we making ourselves more readily-- oh, that looks good.

LAURA: Yes.

LIAM: Readily available to the Queen?

TALIESIN: For the moment, maybe, now that we're--

TRAVIS: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Well, we've--

TRAVIS: Certainly.

TALIESIN: Now that we're all--

LIAM: Off as long as maybe we can without putting in a little bit of hard work and elbow grease in.

MARISHA: We were a bit vague about the whole Laughing Hand thing. We were just like "Oh, handling it, ha ha ha."

TALIESIN: Doing research, amassing power. These are the appropriate things to do when facing a difficult obstacle.

LIAM: I think probably we should check in with our housekeeping.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LIAM: And talk about next steps.

MARISHA: They did want me to consider going back to the Empire.

SAM: Who is they?

MARISHA: Dairon.

SAM: Oh. To do a mission?

LIAM: Why don't we wait 'til later to talk about that?

MARISHA: These walls definitely have ears.

SAM: For right now, we're just going to find Essek. Do you know where he was going to meet us?

LAURA: Nope.

SAM: Well then, I guess we'll just go home, assume that he'll meet us there?

TALIESIN: That's fair.

LIAM: Let's just head there for now.

SAM: To the Xhorhaus.

MATT: All right. You guys make your way through the Lucid Bastion and then follow on to the neighborhood where the Xhorhaus awaits you. Walking through the neighborhood, you're catching a few stares, but once again, you've established yourself with the neighbors at least. So people still turn, a motley crew in the capital of the Dynasty. You do look and see the familiar glow of the gargantuan tree that marks your arrival upon the exterior of your abode. Entering the house, it's quiet and still.

SAM: No one's there to greet us at the door?

MATT: Not if-- you have a means of entering the house. Would you prefer to not, or do you wish to just enter?

SAM: Oh, no, we'll just enter.

MATT: You walk into the home to silence.

MARISHA: Dairon?

SAM: But Dairon's not around? Dairon!

LAURA: Hello?

TRAVIS: Or whatever name they have.

SAM: No answer? I turn invisible and walk upstairs.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I look around. Does anything look disturbed? Does it look like, anything out of place from where we left it last, any signs of?

MATT: Make a perception check, or this'll be investigation for this one. One or the other.

MARISHA: Why, why? Every freaking time with all these checks.

MATT: Stealth check with advantage.

MARISHA: Nine.

MATT: It's hard to tell. It's been awhile since you've been here and you haven't spent enough time to have a strong--

MARISHA and TRAVIS: ♪ It's been awhile! ♪

MATT: I knew it was coming. A strong enough memory of the placement of things in this house with the limited time you've spent here to be able to corroborate if anything's been shifted.

LIAM: Well--

MARISHA: This doesn't feel right.

LIAM: I can look around.

SAM: 31 on stealth and I'm just walking around the upstairs.

LIAM: With the Keen Mind feat, am I able to tell if anything is amiss?

MATT: A few pieces of furniture, like chairs have shifted slightly, but then been replaced.

LIAM: I would also like to check my room and make sure that everything is exactly as I left it.

MATT: Everything is your room is exactly as you've left it. As you un-stealthily step upstairs, or wherever your room is.

SAM: Downstairs.

MATT: Downstairs I think is your room.

SAM: He's the only one.

MATT: Correct.

TALIESIN: I'm heading upstairs.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I'm going to look in the kitchen.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I'll look-- we have a basement, right?

MATT: You do. Well no, you don't have a basement. You have a hot tub in your tower.

MARISHA: I'll look in the hot tub.

MATT: It's filled with liquid.

MARISHA: Fuck.

MATT: Clear, clear liquid. It's water!

LIAM: Seemingly.

MARISHA: I just panic and get in.

TALIESIN: You're having a panic soak.

MATT: It appears to be water.

MARISHA: I'm having a panic soak. Leave me alone.

LIAM: He's going to Wil Wheaton me in that hot tub. (giggling)

SAM: Anything upstairs?

MATT: No. The house appears to be empty.

LAURA: Well, man, I wonder where our housekeeper is?

MARISHA: Maybe she's just out--

LIAM: Yeah, should we just have--

MARISHA: On a mission.

LIAM: Dinner for now and maybe she will come home?

LAURA: In the kitchen, does it look like food was recently bought and stored or does it look like?

MATT: Make an investigation check.

TALIESIN: This cigar burning on the--

LAURA: 10.

MATT: It's hard to tell.

LAURA: It's hard to tell, I'm an expert at food.

SAM: She's a good housekeeper, then.

MARISHA: Let's wait a little while longer. If we don't hear from her, maybe we can send her a message.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Okay. I can send her a message now if you want.

MARISHA: Yeah, okay.

LAURA: I'm going to send her a message. Hey yo, is everything okay? We're back at the house. Just wondering where you are. Let me know, we're all curious.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: Doo doo, doo doo, hmm, hmm. Donuts!

(laughter)

MATT: You have too much power with this spell.

SAM: It's the last six words that are always the thing.

TRAVIS: "Doo doo doo, donuts."

TALIESIN: It's how people know it's really us, to be fair.

MATT: Jester scats her way through the final phrases.

SAM: ♪ Da ba, doo, ba doo ♪

TRAVIS: That was on a billboard in the 50s somewhere. ♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo, donuts ♪

MATT: Oh no. Okay. The only response you get is (exhale) "Wait."

LAURA: Oh no.

LIAM: "Oh no," what?

LAURA: I'm waiting, hold on.

MATT: Nothing else.

LAURA: I think maybe she meant wait longer. She said, "Wait," and she sounded whispery and she made like a (faint groan) noise beforehand, like I couldn't tell if it was like a struggly sort of sound or if like she was annoyed with me.

LIAM: I don't think she's on a shopping run.

MARISHA: Okay, okay. Okay.

LAURA: Maybe she's pooping.

TRAVIS: Does anyone feel like there's something off here?

MARISHA: She must just be in the middle of something, someplace she can't talk. Okay, well, we'll wait.

TRAVIS: Can I use--

SAM: Where's Dairon's--

TRAVIS: Can I use Divine Sense?

MATT: Sure.

SAM: Using it early.

MARISHA: Getting that paladin itch.

TRAVIS: Why not, right? Just to see if there's any celestial, fiend, or undead within 60 feet.

MATT: Okay, as you concentrate, closing your eyes, just extending to sense if anything considered uncouth in the eyes of the Wildmother is in the proximity, nothing.

TRAVIS: What I thought.

SAM: I don't know where Dairon was sleeping, but can I go sort of investigate around their bunk or stuff?

MATT: Sure, you spend some time and then you hear a sound on the balcony.

SAM: I'll run over there.

MATT: Okay. Coming through the balcony entrance, you can see Dairon in drow attire. "Hello."

SAM: Hi. Are you okay?

MATT: "I am fine, thank you," and then steps past you and begins to head downstairs.

SAM: Dairon's home.

MARISHA: Huh?

SAM: Dairon's home.

MARISHA: Oh shit, I wasn't waiting at all.

MATT: Dairon continues downstairs.

TRAVIS: You were in the hot tub. (laughter) Was that the stairs, you slipped down the stairs?

MATT: The monk skills coming to use.

TRAVIS: You run up trees and you slipped on the fucking stairs out of the hot tub?

LIAM: I saw my whole life flash before my eyes as those elbows flew. I saw myself at five, 10, it was good.

TRAVIS: (thudding)

MATT: You get this once a week, I get it the rest of the week. It's worth it.

MARISHA: You're fine.

MATT: Yeah. As you gather and Dairon steps in, you can see her a little out of breath. "I am sorry, I was in the middle of some reconnaissance. So how go your travels?"

MARISHA: It's fucking nuts. We tricked a white dragon. We found a cool volcano lava forge. He's a paladin now.

LIAM: Show them the sword.

TRAVIS: Oh. Yes, we've acquired some new toys. I'll summon the broadsword. It's a powerful weapon.

MATT: "You are certainly full of surprises and chaotic would be an adjective that comes to mind."

MARISHA: We went to Uthodurn. I met some other Cobalt Soul people. Oh, Archivist Demid.

MATT: "Ah. Yes, I'm sure he had much to talk about.

MARISHA: Uh-huh.

MATT: "A lot of lunar interests."

MARISHA: Yep.

MATT: "Yeah."

MARISHA: Yep. So what about you?

MATT: "Well, having to play the part of your housekeeper has been demoralizing. There have been curious neighbors peeking in occasionally."

SAM: Imagine how we feel not being able to hire a real housekeeper. It's also demoralizing.

MATT: "My apologies."

LAURA: We're very sorry to have provided you a very good cover.

LIAM: It does sound like you have extracurricular activities. Do you mind us asking what you are surveilling?

MATT: "No, I prefer to spend all of my time cleaning up your household."

MARISHA: Okay, okay, let's all chill the fuck out just a little bit.

TRAVIS: I'm actually quite calm but--

TALIESIN: I feel fine.

MATT: "I have been busy while you have been away, doing what I do best, which is skulk and listen. I've been trying to get a bead on all the various dens in the vicinity and pursuing any threads that might connect to the Assembly. No particular luck, but I have been hearing rumors of another military push."

LIAM: In which direction?

MATT: "Oh, what direction would they push if not westward?"

LIAM: You're talking about the Kryn?

MATT: "Yes."

LIAM: Thank you.

MATT: "Best I can tell, more are pushing towards Urzin, which is one of their mobile swamp cities."

SAM: Urzin?

LAURA: Oh, do you think the turtles come from there?

MATT: "I believe that is one of their main places, yes.

LAURA: Whoa.

TALIESIN: Well, we have the map.

SAM: The turtles?

LAURA: The big turtles, you know?

SAM: Oh, yes, yes, yes.

LIAM: The shanty towns on their backs.

MATT: "Kinespaji is what the goblins call them."

SAM: Kinespaji?

MATT: "Kinespaji."

SAM: Kinespaji.

MATT: "It is difficult for me to get information on my own. I don't know how likely it is, but if ever there is an offer or a chance to meet with or have conversations in the home with some of these den leaders, just let me know and perhaps you'll need an assistant to stay around and search. Just keep your ears open. It would be very useful. I've had a few close calls while you've been away."

MARISHA: Like what?

MATT: "Like getting somewhere hopefully interesting and then having to flee before I am found, then hung, quartered, and left on display as a traitor."

LAURA: That would be bad.

MARISHA: Okay, clearly you're feeling a little abandoned.

MATT: "I was intending to come here by myself at the beginning. Us in our current position is just a boon. I'm just thinking of ways where this could be more useful to myself and our general interests for the Empire."

SAM: That makes sense.

LIAM: We are on the same page, yeah. We also wish to learn what we can and take that back home.

MATT: "So what are you doing now, since you are finding strange artifacts, fighting dragons and other such nonsense?"

LIAM: We are not entirely sure of our next move precisely. We need to check in with the powers that be here. Reestablish our allegiance.

MATT: "Of course."

LAURA: How do you feel about the Traveler?

MATT: "This is that strange figure that you worship, yes?"

LAURA: Not strange but--

SAM: Eccentric.

LIAM: That's pretty accurate.

SAM: Energetic.

LAURA: Amazing, I think you mean.

LIAM: Idiosyncratic. Quirky is the nice way to put it.

MATT: "It is an interesting cult, relatively new."

LAURA: You think we're a cult?

MATT: "You tell me."

LAURA: Well, I never thought of it that way but it sounds pretty fun.

MATT: "Then a cult it is."

LAURA: No, it's not a cult! It's an organized religion. We are very powerful and there's a lot of us followers and-- oh shit, are we a cult?

(laughter)

SAM: Do you follow one sort of charismatic leader?

LAURA: Well, yeah, but--

SAM: Does he make you do-- well, does he encourage you to do things that are out of the ordinary and destructive to normal society?

LAURA: Obviously.

SAM: Does he encourage you to flock to him en masse, sort of, and possibly worship him?

LAURA: We do worship him, but it's not like it's just a random person doing this. He's a god.

LIAM: A cult implies that it's hogwash. This is not hogwash. We have seen miracles from Jester.

LAURA: Yeah, do you want to see more?

SAM: Yes.

LAURA: Well, okay.

(laughter)

LAURA: I'm going to use a spell right now, a really cool one. I'm going to use Command. No. Yeah, I'm going to use Command on Nott.

SAM: I will let it happen.

LAURA: I'm going to say dance!

SAM: I will dance.

(laughter)

MATT: You make a saving throw or do you resist it at all?

SAM: No, I don't resist.

(laughter)

LAURA: See? This is the power of the Traveler.

TRAVIS: She's really--

LAURA: We can make people happy.

TRAVIS: --terrible at this.

LAURA: We can make people--

MARISHA: Awful.

LAURA: What? I think it's wonderful. You can stop.

SAM: Thank you.

MATT: "I will be sure to take this information to the Archivists."

LAURA: You should; it should be archived. Also, we're having a big Con soon, so if you feel like joining, it's super fun.

MATT: "What do you mean?"

LAURA: There will be food and costumes and--

MARISHA: A convention.

LIAM: An event.

TRAVIS: A gathering.

LAURA: A gathering, really.

MARISHA: She kind of has a point towards the cult thing, just throwing that out.

MATT: "I would be careful."

SAM: Why?

MATT: "Well--"

TALIESIN: In general or specifically?

MATT: "Both, but in this instance, strange new forms of worship and gatherings of worshipers can sometimes lead in a negative direction."

LAURA: Well, I mean, he's been around a really long time. So it's not like it's anything new.

MATT: "Well."

TALIESIN: I like new things, new things are nice.

LIAM: This got awkward very quickly.

TRAVIS: Yes, should we find Essek and try to follow up on those loose ends we've mentioned?

LIAM: Yeah, I think we need to do a little bit of fact finding of our own before bringing you into the fold of our conversations. Although I personally would wish to soon, but I feel like we should touch base and I don't want to spook any of the people--

MATT: "It is all right, if you require me, I will be upstairs," and they turn around and head upstairs.

MARISHA: I thought we were talking about-- mmkay.

SAM: It's all right, we need some private time anyway.

TALIESIN: Hard to believe the two of you were friends.

SAM: It's always so awkward to have a personal relationship with the help, you know? It makes things very awkward.

LAURA: Is it? I don't know, we always were very friendly with the people helping around our place.

SAM: That's true.

LAURA: Bluud is really cool.

SAM: What is our next move?

MARISHA: Well, we've-- okay hang on, DM question.

MATT: Yes?

MARISHA: Stepping out of game.

MATT: Sure.

MARISHA: We more or less got confirmation that the demon holes that were splintering in from the Abyss were only happening on the Xhorhas side, right?

MATT: Actually no, you heard word that apparently similar activity seems to have been occurring--

MARISHA: Also happening--

MATT: Somewhere in the Empire. You have only heard tidbits.

MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay. I knew we got confirmation one way or the other.

MATT: From Yussa while you guys were in Nicodranas.

TALIESIN: Our two week break is our attempt to be more like a real D&D; game and like--

LIAM: I forgot how to be--

TALIESIN: Trying to remember--

MATT: I know it's been two weeks, it's okay.

TALIESIN: That weekly game is so easy to pick up.

MARISHA: Okay, yeah. Word from Nicodranas that it was happening on both sides.

MATT: Correct.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: The last you saw of the Laughing Hand, Obann and Yasha was when you escaped--

MARISHA: The mountains.

MATT: The mountains. You caught one glimpse of them via scrying, seemingly exiting the space outside of the King's Cage. That was the last you saw of them.

MARISHA: Okay.

SAM: So Essek's not here. Do we contact Essek again?

LAURA: Or we can go to his house. He said he was going to prepare for us or something.

SAM: Do we know where he lives? Have we been to his house?

LAURA: Caleb does.

LIAM: Did I go there?

TRAVIS: I don't think we've been to his--

MATT: I don't think you've been to his abode. He's always come to yours.

TRAVIS: We should go see the Bright Queen.

SAM: All right.

TRAVIS: Or...

LIAM: I think Essek makes a better intermediary. I get the sense the last time we saw her that we shouldn't be hitting that button willy-nilly, you know?

TALIESIN: You have an appointment with someone you need to see.

LIAM: More or less, yeah.

TALIESIN: We definitely need to catch up and figure out what's happened. See if there's been any reports. If there's been any news. Maybe take a night, meditate, think about what the next move is.

LIAM: Yeah, we're beating around the bush. Let's-- if we can just summon Essek.

LAURA: I'm going to try to summon him.

LIAM: Thank you, Jester.

LAURA: You're welcome. I'm going to send him another message.

MATT: Okay, what message do you send?

LAURA: So we're here. Should we come see you? Are you going to come here? Man, we miss you so much. We don't want to summon you or anything.

MARISHA: Do we still have cupcakes? Bribe him with cupcakes.

LAURA: It's too late. I already ate them all.

MATT: You have other spell slots. No.

TALIESIN: Summon Cupcake.

MATT: He responds a moment later with "Ah, so you have returned. Then I will gather myself and head to your abode posthaste."

LAURA: He's on his way.

SAM: Perfect.

LIAM: Okay.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: A short time later. (knocking)

LAURA: He's here.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: He's here.

SAM: I'll get it. Mage Hand, open the door.

MATT: It opens.

TALIESIN: Ting, ting, ting, ting.

MATT: Yep.

TALIESIN: I have needs.

MATT: Indeed. He makes his way in. "Well, it is good to see that you have survived your encounter, it would seem, with the dragon's den, of which I last sent you."

LAURA: Yeah, we were amazing.

TALIESIN: Quite successful.

TRAVIS: A bit of a close shave, but we made it.

MATT: "Good."

LIAM: Good at improvising.

MARISHA: The dragon's name was Gelidon.

LAURA: Never even saw us there.

TALIESIN: Well...

LAURA: Mostly.

TALIESIN: Mostly. Somewhat, a little.

MATT: "Still, very impressive. Not many have done what you've done and come back unscathed, it seems. I'm impressed myself. So, what is it you've summoned me for?"

LIAM: Well, we have been running our errands and we are back. We feel it has been awhile since we have checked in with the Queen and yourself and we mean to be of use, if we may and I hope--

LAURA: And I want to say a big thank you again for taking us to where we needed to go. I just want you to know that, but okay, keep going.

LIAM: No, it's fine.

MATT: "Of course."

LIAM: Our track record has been a little less stellar than I would have liked, but I would hope that this encounter with a White Dragon would--

MARISHA: Wait, what? We're fucking great.

TRAVIS: Well, we also haven't heard about any reports from, you know, our last incident.

MARISHA: Oh.

TALIESIN: We were curious if there had been any word of any sight of the Laughing Hand or this creature?

MATT: "At this point, no. We have been researching and putting out requests for any sort of sightings of the creature that you had mentioned, as well as perhaps this individual that was once among you. None have come back, but we are indeed looking, so do not worry."

TRAVIS: To be clear, did you send anyone to the location that we mentioned? I mean, certainly there must have been some sort of remnant or sign that they were there.

MATT: "There were indeed signs within the interior of this King's Cage that you mentioned. However, there was no sign beyond the exit and what winds and sands of the Barbed Fields have washed away what symbols or footsteps may have led us in their direction. But we are looking, do not worry."

LIAM: I think we are also possibly curious about-- the Queen mentioned beacons still within the Empire and if we can, perhaps, steal the breath from a dragon, it stands to reason that we could help with those as well.

MATT: "Good, so you are now in a place to call in some of the debt."

SAM: Yes.

LIAM: Indeed.

MATT: "Good. There is indeed one beacons that still remains in the grasp of the Empire. We have numerous ways of pushing towards that goal. However, should you have been careful in your dealings, you have a little more reach within the Empire than someone such as I would, of course. I would request on the behalf of the Bright Queen to see if you can discover where this beacon is being held."

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: "I get the sense that perhaps you've had some encounters with members of the Academy. Maybe the Assembly or at least people who can connect you? From what we understand, they seem to be directly involved in the acquisitions of the beacons and most likely hold or know where the current one is being held. If you can bring us this information, you may be aiding in bringing an end to this conflict sooner than later."

LIAM: Have you any ideas of individuals?

MATT: "Well, I could name off the Assembly for you, if you'd like. But I get the sense you already know them."

LIAM: I am familiar, ja.

MARISHA: Can I get the sense he's being genuine when he talks about ending the conflict?

MATT: Make an insight check.

LIAM: Second time.

TRAVIS: You need to fucking warm it up.

MARISHA: Yeah, I do.

LIAM: Yeah, right? Two threes.

TRAVIS: Because that will not fly.

MARISHA: No. I'm supposed to be good at this shit.

LAURA: Oh can, oh wait, can I give you Guidance? Is it too late?

MATT: It's too late. You've got to do it before the roll, sorry.

LAURA: Everybody take longer to pick up your dice.

MATT: Yep.

LAURA: So I can remember.

TALIESIN: I think we both can do Guidance.

MATT: He's pretty much always been Essek, his manner and demeanor rarely changes. So it's kind of hard to read.

SAM: ♪ It's just Essek ♪

MARISHA: God damn you, Essek. Okay.

LAURA: All right.

LIAM: We do have ties in the Empire.

MATT: "Good."

LIAM: Some connections. In all these rumors that you are parsing out, is there any area of the Empire in particular you have heard of this thing being seen last?

MATT: "Unfortunately, such information changes. You see, they know as well as I do that it's dangerous to keep it in one place for more than a period of time. Such a central artifact would be moved often, most likely. Your guess is as good as mine. Should you learn this information, for this reason, you need to let us know soon."

TRAVIS: Do you happen to have any other teams on this sort of quest?

MATT: "Oh, we have a few spies throughout, yes."

TRAVIS: Any way that we would be able to identify them just in case we happen to cross each other's paths?

MATT: "Not at all."

TRAVIS: I figured.

SAM: What about that prisoner that they're keeping, Caleb? Would that be a place to start?

LIAM: It couldn't hurt.

MATT: "You have a couple more days before the execution is carried out, so I would recommend you doing what you are looking to do soon."

LIAM: If today works, I will do it today.

MATT: "I could escort you."

TALIESIN: You want help?

LAURA: You want some company?

LIAM: Definitely someone, ja.

LAURA: I'll come with you.

TALIESIN: I'd be happy to as well.

LIAM: All right.

SAM: Are you going to threaten her?

LIAM: I'm going to talk to her.

SAM: All right.

LIAM: No time like the present.

MATT: "Very well then, come with me, Widogast."

TRAVIS: Both the fucking clerics are going. We should go, too.

MARISHA: I guess we'll go.

SAM: Are we all going? We're all going to go?

MARISHA: I guess so.

SAM: Okay. Is that okay?

MATT: "A party, then. Well come, we leave immediately," and he whooshes around and glides through the open door. You guys are all heading with him?

SAM: Yeah, if that's all right with you, Caleb.

LIAM: As long as we don't, you know, crowd the cell itself.

TRAVIS: No, of course not. Here for support, if you need it.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: And Guidance, whenever you need it.

TRAVIS: Before the roll.

LAURA: Yes.

LIAM: That's touch, right?

LAURA: Yes.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: All right, following Essek, you're brought through the familiar space of the Shadowshire beneath the center of the city of Rosohna towards the Dungeon of Penance through the strangely off-putting interior and you're feeling the central enchantment of the space clouding your mind but a bit, but eventually you find yourself standing at the familiar cell where you first had met the prisoner. Glancing through the small hole in the doorway, you can see the female figure currently sitting, arms bound behind her back. It looks like shackles holding them to her ankles from behind. Chains from each arm and each leg affixed to all sides of the room and there are multiple guards at all times keeping watch.

LIAM: Outside the cell?

MATT: Outside the cell, yes.

LIAM: The chains, does she look like taut or is it loose?

MATT: They're somewhat lax. They're not taut like she's being suspended.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: She can't probably move more than a foot in any direction, should she wanted to.

LIAM: Would you trust me enough to enter the cell with her?

MATT: Essek looks to the guards. The guards give a nod. He looks back to you. "I just would recommend nothing funny. For should such things occur--"

LIAM: I would not jeopardize our place here in the Dynasty.

MATT: "I would hope you would not and you seem like an upstanding practitioner of the arcane arts with interests in the greater mysteries of life, that you would not throw your life away so quickly. Open the door." (door creaking) It's pushed open. Essek's hand glides out of the cloak and gives the universal hand motion for "you first."

LIAM: You said, is she facing away from the door?

MATT: She's currently facing the door but the head's down, straggly, greasy hair on her face. There's very little light in here, if at all. Most of the people who work this area don't need light to see in the area. So darkness is a consistent thing. You get the sense at this point that the prisoner, who is human-- I believe so, let me double-check real fast. Yes. Has been in darkness for quite some time. She also looked quite emaciated, pale. There's a stench to the chamber. This prisoner has not been kept comfortably in the time that you've bought for her life.

LIAM: I enter and I sit on the cell floor a safe distance away, but directly in front of her. (American accent) I'll confirm what you already know.

MATT: You guys hear Zemnian. If I recall, this is what we did last time.

TRAVIS: I was like, "What?!"

SAM: That's right.

LAURA: I'm just going to come in the cell behind Caleb and like lean against the bars and keep my head down, just like behind him.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: I'll join with a Disguise Self as an elf so I don't stick out.

LIAM: I am Bren Aldric Ermendrud. Do you want to tell me your name?

MATT: "It doesn't matter, does it?"

LIAM: Well, you will be dead in a few days, but I wouldn't say that it doesn't mater.

MATT: "Do you have a way of getting me out, friend of the Dynasty?"

LIAM: I don't know. But I do have something to offer. I'm curious. You've done a lot for the Assembly. I know that you've killed many enemies of the Empire, of the throne. I am very curious to know how it would affect you if you knew that some of those you robbed of their breath were innocent, completely innocent. As loyal as you. What would that do to you?

MATT: At this point, you've just seen the hair on the front of her face. The head slightly moves up and peeking through a sliver of the greasy, dark hair, you can see one eye look up to you. "We both trained under the same man. You know the answer to that. There are things bigger than innocence."

LIAM: It doesn't haunt you at all to know that some of the deeds you've committed were predicated on lies?

MATT: "I had my heart beaten out of me a long time ago. Now, it's about guiding history. It always has been."

LIAM: I don't know how my brothers and sisters could stomach wearing that mantle of loyalty, knowing that it was woven so thoroughly from sin and I am very sorry for you.

MATT: "Good men don't conquer. They die and are forgotten. I'll die and be forgotten, but at least I know some of my deeds will have changed the course of history."

LIAM: You've certainly learned your lessons by rote.

MATT: "You still have a few to learn too. I'm sure he'll find you. (Caleb nods) He'll be happy to finish what he couldn't. He doesn't like it when people don't do as he says."

LIAM: I'm sure it galls him, very much. Do you know, I think I'm a better friend to the Empire than the lot of you. You didn't have to have this. You shouldn't have had this.

MATT: "It's a shame. So much potential and so little foresight."

LIAM: Did you know Astrid and Eadwulf? (a slight nod) Still alive? (a very slight nod)

MATT: "Hmm. I know them better than you do."

LIAM: That's probably true. It was folly thinking I could change your mind, I know. Why would I?

MATT: "What do you want? Why did you come here? None of this is surprising. "What do you want from me?"

LIAM: Maybe if I could talk plainly with you and see one inch of change, then I wouldn't believe we're all damned.

MATT: "No. I hope this lesson has been very useful."

LIAM: It has. You've made what I have to do very plain. I don't know if you want it or not, but I'll be staying around for the end. I consider you a sister still, even if you don't share the sentiment.

MATT: She leans against the chains a bit, tensing and you hear them pull and rattle. "Well, "I've always been a little impatient." You see a whip of motion as one of the chains goes slack and the arm arcs around towards you--

LIAM: Counterspell.

MATT: You go to cast Counterspell but there's no spell.

LAURA: Can I leap forward?

MATT: It's a surprise round-- does not. Does that hit? A 16?

LIAM: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Okay. You suffer--

SAM: Cheat damage

TRAVIS: No spells.

LIAM: Yeah, it's the prison.

MATT: 26 points of piercing damage as it looks like in one of the hands where a chain had been wrenched free is clutching a pointed piece of metal that has been thrust into your clavicle and throat. You guys watch as a spray of blood begins to (spraying) out of Caleb's chest as she pulls back to go in for another stab--

LIAM: I pull out the transmuter's stone and beat her across the face with it.

MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make an attack roll.

LIAM: Natural 20.

TRAVIS: Boom.

MATT: All right, go ahead and– actually, it's one point of damage plus your...times two. So we'll say two points of damage plus your strength modifier.

LIAM: Yeah, that's zero. I think it's zero. Oh, it's plus one. No, wait, is it? No, that's saves. Zero.

MATT: Okay, so (whacks). And what are you guys doing?

LAURA: I am leaping forward, I'm going to yell: Caduceus!

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LAURA: Then I'm going to bash her upside the head with my shield.

MATT: All right, roll for an attack with the shield.

LAURA: I don't know what I add to that.

SAM: Is it an unarmed strike, or?

LAURA: That'd be an unarmed strike.

MATT: This would be considered an unarmed strike, just for flavor with the shield--

LAURA: 20.

MATT: To hit?

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: Yeah, so that would definitely hit. It's one damage plus your strength modifier. What are you doing, Caduceus?

TALIESIN: I'm running in to separate them and get Caleb out of there.

LAURA: Yeah. I'm trying to push her back with the shield. Four.

MATT: All right, so yeah, you push her back. The chains pull taut against the backside as she's now pressed against the other half of the taut weight. You pull Caleb back, the blood just (gushing) out of the wound, she managed to not strike quite as vitally as she had hoped. Though in the moment, it still frightens you to see the amount of blood with a simple puncture. The guards immediately rush in and raising their crossbows, fill her chest with bolts.

LIAM: Wait!

MATT: At which point, you watch as she begins to lift up off the ground from the chains, and you see Essek, his hand out of his cloak, lifting her off the ground. And you see her (choking sounds) and blood pouring from the corners of her mouth, her eyes wide. Essek kind of just looks to you.

LIAM: I walk up to her and just stare into her eyes from six inches away. (Holds up one hand and clenches his fist.) to Essek.

MATT: (clutches his fist with a cracking sound) And you watch as her entire central torso crushes inward, the chains go taut and you hear the metal bend as some of the chains begin to pull and break in places before she is dropped to the ground limply.

LAURA: I'm going to look into Caleb's eyes as that was happening. I wanted to see what he was--

TALIESIN: I am helping apply pressure.

MARISHA: You got any healing spells with that pressure, Cad?

TALIESIN: We can't do them in here, we got to--

MARISHA: Move him out, here, I'll help Cad move him out.

SAM: We can't do it in here?

MARISHA: Out of the cell, out of the cell.

SAM: Why not?

LAURA: Can we heal him, can we heal him? We can heal him, we can heal him.

TALIESIN: Okay, I'll go do it.

MATT: They've already loaded new bolts into the crossbow and they're all just keeping an eye on the somewhat mashed corpse.

TALIESIN and LAURA: Cure Wounds.

TALIESIN: I'll just do like a level three Cure Wounds. That ought to do it.

LAURA: Let's see what you got because if not, I'll do it. Look at those dice.

TALIESIN: I know. Isn't that nice? 12. 18 points of healing.

LAURA: I'll do Cure Wounds. It looks like he's still bleeding a little bit. I'll do a level two.

MATT: All righty.

TRAVIS: That took an unexpected turn.

MARISHA: I kind of saw that whole thing coming, not going to lie.

SAM: Did she, are you okay? Did she give you any useful information?

LAURA: 12 additional healing.

LIAM: Oh yes.

SAM: Yes?

LIAM: Oh yes.

TALIESIN: Do you have anything else you want to talk to her about?

SAM: Oh.

TRAVIS: I don't think she's going to hear it.

LIAM: I don't think she would be willing.

TALIESIN: That can always be handled.

TRAVIS: Oh.

LIAM: Oh yes.

TALIESIN: Death is just a pause.

LIAM: Oh yes.

SAM: She still might not want to talk.

MARISHA: It kind of seemed like--

LIAM: Essek. Would you allow us to use this corpse for an interrogation?

MATT: "Under our supervision, quickly and do not mention that I allowed this to anybody." Essek looks to the guards there and he says, "And that goes for you as well." The guards all--

TRAVIS: Taking a risk, I like it.

MATT: Nod and step back a bit and move away from the chamber.

TALIESIN: I don't know if I have it ready today but we just have to keep the, we don't need much.

SAM: It got weird.

MATT: So what are you guys doing?

LIAM: Sorry, I've got an idea.

SAM: ♪ And I know I'm a fool ♪

TRAVIS and MATT: ♪ Get my baby to love me tonight ♪

TALIESIN: If you give me a day.

SAM: ♪ The fecal of carton ♪

LIAM: To speak with her.

TALIESIN: I just need a head.

LIAM: Oh. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought my friends were prepared.

TALIESIN: I wasn't ready to do it immediately, but--

LAURA: We could take her head with us.

SAM: Oh, god.

MATT: "Unfortunately, no."

SAM: You can't do it right now?

MATT: "This need to be notified immediately to the rest of the dens and the body needs to be produced. So if there's something you cannot do now, I'm afraid it cannot be done."

LIAM: But we would find information in a way that we were not just able to do. I think that we could speak to her. I have seem him do it.

MATT: "Are you attempting to speak to the corpse?"

TALIESIN: Yes.

LIAM: As her master, yes.

MATT: "Then I cannot allow it. That is standard procedure after execution and the body cannot be utilized in the same way again. If they attempt to make the body available for such a ritual and it does not work, they will know that it has been done in advance. Which will lead them to me, which will lead them to you."

MARISHA: Can't we just request to be in the room when they do it?

MATT: "I think that might be stepping beyond the bounds of which your arrangement here is--"

TRAVIS: That seems fair.

MATT: "--situated, my apologies. I want to help as much as I can but there are limitations."

TALIESIN: You know, I think she did this intentionally. I think this was--

LAURA: Well, yeah.

TALIESIN: Well, I mean, all things considered, it's a clever way of making sure you can't ask any more questions.

TRAVIS: She was also waiting for this opportunity.

LIAM: What if she knows where the beacon is now?

MATT: "Then we will find it from the body. But you can't be the ones to do it. There is protocol and the last thing you need is anything like this to be traced back to me or you."

TRAVIS: You've been more than generous.

LAURA: You really have.

LIAM: Very much so. Caleb wanders over to her corpse and kneels and with his own bloody hand wipes her hair out of her eyes. I'm sorry. I think we are done here.

MATT: "I think we are."

TALIESIN: Are there any scars on the body?

MATT: Well, the arms and legs have been nearly pulled out of their sockets. Where the torso has been crushed inward and the chains have been pulled taut, essentially the body was pulled away from the limbs to the point where they're still attached, but definitive separation internally. Most of the torso has been crushed inward. The jaw has been broken in and it's--

TALIESIN: I was specifically curious about the arms and legs.

MATT: The arms and legs, you do notice there are scars among the forearms that are similar to the ones that Caleb has.

TALIESIN: I'd like to, if it's all right, quickly just approach the body for a second.

MATT: As you do, Essek goes "Careful. You do have to leave soon."

TALIESIN: Of course.

MATT: "No funny business."

TALIESIN: Nothing funny. I want to palpate the region. I want to press the arm and see what the scars feel like.

MATT: Okay, make a medicine check.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

LAURA: I'm going to look over Caduceus' shoulder because I know what he's doing.

MATT: What are you trying to figure out from this?

TALIESIN: I want to know what caused the scars.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: I want to know--

LAURA: I don't know what he's doing.

TRAVIS: You thought he was trying to milk it?

LAURA: No, I thought he was going to see if there's still crystals in there.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I don't think I would know that yet, but I do know they're magic scars because I've seen his.

MATT: Well, you know the scars. Go ahead and make a medicine check to ascertain the nature of the scars.

TALIESIN: 25.

MATT: Okay, looking them over, you can see there are multiple, probably for each arm somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 to 30 individual scars that are puncture scars. They aren't seemingly violent and they've healed over fine, but they are placed in... While at first glance it appears to be random, you can see faint patterns in their placement in the arms, intentional.

TALIESIN: Does it look like runes or anything like that?

MATT: Not like runes but you get the sense that at least these scars are deliberate and they're mirrored on each arm.

TRAVIS: Did we check if that chain got broken?

TALIESIN: Caleb?

LIAM: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Is this the same thing that happened to you?

MARISHA: Afraid to touch anything, I'll get yelled at.

LIAM: Yes, all of his... (quietly) students.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MARISHA: I think we should get out of here.

LIAM: Yes.

TRAVIS: One last thing, did she just manage to break that chain or file it down, or? It seemed like she was under lock and key. How did that happen?

MATT: "Yes, I am very curious about that myself." And the other guards look at each other. Getting back to their posts, one of them begins talking. None of you speak Undercommon, correct?

LAURA: Fuck.

SAM: Just Overcommon.

MATT: So yeah, none of you here. There is some conversation back and forth between Essek and one of the guards. Essek gets a little more infuriated. The guard backs down a little bit. He seems to curtail and step back into his position. Essek looks back at you. "Well, it seems that these Scourgers, these Volstrucker are well-trained."

SAM: We should get going. Just out of curiosity, I'm going to just go over and check out the body. How tall was she?

MATT: Best you can glance beside the crushed status of the body, from what you've seen, probably in the neighborhood of between like 5'2" and 5'6".

SAM: Can you study her features?

LAURA: I've been doing that while they were having the conversation.

SAM: You think you could make yourself look like her?

LAURA: Obviously.

SAM: All right, good.

MATT: Okay, so you study--

SAM: But like a slightly better looking--

LAURA: Right, she's real crazy right now.

TALIESIN: A haircut.

LIAM: Also out of character, did she seem younger or older than Caleb?

MATT: Younger than Caleb. You'd probably guess looking at her-- it's hard to tell with how emaciated and unhealthy she is from the time she spent here after being captured but you surmise somewhere in the mid to late 20s.

TALIESIN: Xhorhasi High, the next generation.

TRAVIS: Stop it.

MATT: Goddammit.

TALIESIN: Sorry.

TRAVIS: Let's get out of here.

SAM: Okay, home we go.

MATT: All right, Essek leads you out of the prison and back to your home above ground. What would you like to do?

SAM: I don't know, what do we do?

MARISHA: Are we going to check in with the Bright Queen? Do we need to like--

LAURA: No.

MARISHA: --apply for that?

LAURA: I don't think we need to do that.

SAM: This is our mission.

TRAVIS: Towards our debt.

LIAM: Is Essek still with?

MATT: He would still be with you, unless you tell him to leave.

LIAM: So is it on us? There are no resources of any kind that you could provide in our foray back to the Empire?

TRAVIS: A lead, or...

MATT: "What kind of resources would you require? Everything is being placed into the war effort right now. So it is a bit stretched."

LIAM: Information. Do you know the last place this beacon was seen?

MATT: "The last place that we know of it was in Felderwin."

LIAM: Felderwin.

TRAVIS: Felderwin. You don't happen to have any safe houses or bases of operation behind enemy lines?

MATT: "We have a few locations that we've established. For the purposes of keeping them safe, respectfully, I cannot tell you."

SAM: Felderwin. The tripod, we have the tripod. Does that help us at all?

LAURA: We'll find out.

SAM: Did it touch it, does that count? Can we scry on that or anything? No, I guess not.

LIAM: Are you able to scry on things you have never seen before? It would be similar obviously to the one that we possessed.

TRAVIS: How would it pick between the two?

LAURA: Let me think about that for a minute.

TALIESIN: If I was clever, I would have it very protected from such things.

LAURA: Yeah, like--

LIAM: We've got to start somewhere, though.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, hold on, let me look at my spell. I know a lot about it, I just--

SAM: I mean we could go back to Felderwin and retrace their steps, I suppose. We could--

MARISHA: You know--

LIAM: We could try to get our hands on a living Scourger.

LAURA: It's a creature sort of thing. I can scry on people.

MATT: You can scry on a location, but you had to have seen the location before.

LAURA: I can scry on a location or a people, but not like an object, right?

MATT: Correct.

SAM: Well, going back to what Essek said, the members of the Assembly, do we know all the members of the Assembly?

LIAM: I mean, Caleb does. I would need to go through notes. There's a lot of them.

MARISHA: What if we go back to--

SAM: Should we start scrying on each one?

MARISHA: What if we go back to Yussa Errenis in Nicodranas?

LIAM: Yussa?

MARISHA: Yussa.

SAM: What would he say?

TRAVIS: At the tower.

SAM: What would he know?

MARISHA: He's a sort of on-the-outs arcanist. He might have--

LAURA: He doesn't like the Academy.

MARISHA: He doesn't like the Academy, but you know how like all rich people know each other?

SAM: I do know that.

TALIESIN: You don't know that.

MARISHA: You know, he might've heard rumor.

LIAM: I don't really know--

SAM: Seems like we're closer--

LIAM: --where his allegiances lie.

SAM: --to the thing than he is. I mean, we've met in person a lot of the people we're talking about.

LAURA: You know, somebody that seemed to have a lot of information about lots of different things.

TALIESIN: If I had some incense and some ivory.

LAURA: The Gentleman.

SAM: Papa?

TALIESIN: What?

LAURA: Potentially Papa. You know, I mean he had his hands in--

TRAVIS: He is well connected.

LAURA: --a lot of different things.

LIAM: That is true.

LAURA: He might have heard about such a big artifact crossing the lines.

MARISHA: Also--

TRAVIS: But he's back in--

LAURA: Zadash.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: We have all these leads and this name Jagentoth keep coming up and they tend to be expert smugglers.

LAURA: That is true, too.

MARISHA: If I was the Academy, I would try and distance myself from any of this on my hands as much as I could.

LIAM: Well, they were in possession of one in Zadash.

MARISHA: Exactly, why couldn't they move the others?

LIAM: Well, they would, they are.

TRAVIS: The military is moving in Urzin, you said?

MATT: They're sending more military towards Urzin, yes.

LIAM: But they would still be trying to use it in the way they were using the one that we stole. Experimenting with it.

MARISHA: Can you like sense dunamagic now that you have tapped into that?

LIAM: That's what you call it right, Essek? Sensing dunamagic?

MARISHA: Yeah, dunamagic.

SAM: Are you talking about... jacking into the mainframe?

MARISHA: Yeah. Can you do that?

LIAM: Love those glasses.

MATT: "It is referred to as dunamancy."

MARISHA: Yeah, dunamagic.

LIAM: Oh, boy.

MARISHA: I'm just shortening it.

TRAVIS: He just turned someone into a pretzel with the dunamagic. Tone it down.

MATT: "It's fine, it is difficult for many to grasp its elaborate and esoteric depths."

MARISHA: I'm making a pun, you don't have to be patronizing.

MATT: "But I always do."

MARISHA: That's true.

TALIESIN: Puns by their very nature are. I could meditate upon the piece if I had, I would need some incense and some ivory, but I could maybe glean some information that we didn't have.

TRAVIS: That's not a bad idea. I actually like Jester's idea of the Gentleman. He is very well connected and if they're trying to move, albeit discretely through the Empire.

LIAM: And while I think that my good friend Beauregard is being somewhat facetious, it's not a bad point, either, if there is any other arcane tricks of your kind that you think would help us in our search. Know that I love my home. My home is out of control. I want to end the conflict. I know many here think that that is insanity. I do not. And everything that I am learning here, I mean for the good of both our people.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

LAURA: I touch Caleb on the shoulder.

MATT: Sneak it in there! There it is!

LIAM: That's a d4?

MATT: Add a d4 to it, yes.

LIAM: That is crazy cocked. 22.

MATT: 22. Alrighty.

LIAM: 18 plus four.

SAM: Ooh, good four. That's a good four.

MATT: “Gather your books.”

LIAM: They are on me at all times.

MATT: “Good. Then to the den.”

SAM: All of us?

MATT: “If you wish to watch, but I gather this might be a bit above your respective levels of understanding.”

TALIESIN: I have some shopping to do, personally.

LAURA: Well, now I feel like he's just...

MARISHA: Now he's laying it on thick.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "I'm just being honest."

TRAVIS: No, we could gather some things while they're doing this.

MARISHA: Yeah, we'll prep, we've got our own notes and books we have to hit.

TRAVIS: No, you don't.

MATT: "Perfect."

MARISHA: Yes I do, yes I do! As I punch your book in the fucking face, shut up.

SAM: We could go get some ivory, I guess, for you, Caducy.

TALIESIN: A little ivory and a little incense would go a long way.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: I'm going to go fucking watch it.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: You earned it. You earned a show.

TRAVIS: The most boring show.

LAURA: I'm going to go make my popcorn in the kitchen and I'm going to go sit down and watch them do it.

TALIESIN: Caramel corn.

TRAVIS: I'm going to go watch people study for the SAT.

LAURA: Yep, I'm going to-- (laughter)

TRAVIS: Fuck.

LIAM: Were you referring to your den or ours?

MATT: "Yours."

LIAM: Ah, okay.

MATT: "What is it you wish to do? Do you wish utility in the manipulation of the world around you?"

LIAM: Always.

MATT: "Okay. Perhaps, do you enjoy the idea of drawing the potential from discarded timelines?"

SAM: What?!

LIAM: That is intriguing. How do you mean?

MATT: "Let me show you," and he pulls out a book from beneath the cloak. I'm going to text you two spells. I'm going to text you two spells when we go on our break which will be just, I guess about now while we're doing this. (cheering)

TRAVIS: I smell a shopping break.

MATT: Since it is nearly 8:40 and it seems like a good rest point for us to take a quick break and then pick up from there. We'll be back here in just a minute as the wizards convene and have a lesson.

LIAM: Yo, Widogast, you up?

(laughter)

MATT: We'll be back here in a few minutes. In the meantime, we do have our Wyrmwood giveaway this evening, tonight. Oh, what?

LAURA: Is it one of the--

MATT: What?!

LAURA: Good ones?

LIAM: Is it pretty? M

MATT: Ah, it's so good. All right, so this is the new, redesigned Hero Vaults with art by Deven Rue and Crystal Sully, friends of the show.

SAM: What?

MATT: Which is this amazing piece here. This specifically is, I think it's the Purpleheart, right?

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: Yep.

MATT: Purple wood, this is freaking cool looking. One lucky person will have this bequeathed to them at the end of this break. The keyword tonight is faith, F-A-I-T-H. Faith once in the chat. ♪ Faith ♪ We can't, we don't have the rights. Goddamn it, Sam. But yes, so once in the chat, more than once and you'll be disqualified. Once again, US and Canada only, excluding Quebec. We'll be back here shortly with the winner.

ALL: Whoa!

LAURA: He did it again.

Break
(upbeat electronic music) ♪ You got her big warlock ♪ ♪ Her weapons and supplies ♪ ♪ But you need a place to track your stuff ♪ ♪ 'Cause you're so disorganized ♪ ♪ You click open the webpage ♪ ♪ You heard about on Critical Role ♪ ♪ And now you're ready to kick some butt ♪ ♪ In a mineshaft full of gnolls ♪ ♪ It's D&D;, D&D;, yeah, ♪ ♪ D&D; Beyond, yeah, D&D; ♪ ♪ D&D; ♪ ♪ D&D; Beyond ♪ ♪ You've got your stats, you've got your swords ♪ ♪ And you got your invisible wand ♪ ♪ It's D&D;, D&D; ♪ ♪ D&D; ♪ ♪ D&D; Beyond ♪ (classical violin music) SAM (V.O.): You are both unique. You've faced death together, multiple times. You've entertained each other, created for each other and now it's time to show that special someone just how deeply you feel for them. Instead of choosing a vengeance-filled smoke monster living inside a pistol or staying with an acrimonious tree spirit with deep-seated toxic masculinity, choose each other. With these dazzling new rings from Critical Role and Han Cholo. (classical violin music) By the Dawnfather's sweet blessing, be the champion of each other's hearts. (classical violin) (classical violin) (classical violin) TRAVIS: The studio's haunted! (high-pitched) Marisha. Marisha! (wailing) We'll burn it all down! (classical violin music) (classical violin) TRAVIS (V.O.): Last time on Yee-Haw Game Ranch. BRIAN: I guess now we're just going to be here in the fucking Jungle Ranch for the foreseeable future. I just wish we knew a little bit more about this place or what it's about. TRAVIS: Yeah. DANI: "Oh my god, lads, it's him, we've found him." TRAVIS: A fucking boat? DANI: "Chosen one, we've found you! "I can't believe it's you. "Goddamn, Ruby was right. "You're a little fucking snack pack, aren't ya?" BRIAN: Howdy, new critter, who might you be? DANI: "My name's Kermlin the Frog and I'm "the lead explorer here on the Jungle Ranch." TRAVIS: It's nice to meet you, Kermlin the Frog. DANI: "I was just doing my infamous "Jungle Ranch Cruise while searching for ya. "If you've got the time, I got best tour." (laughter) BRIAN: I don't know, Travis, we're supposed to be playing games and parching up the game soul here. TRAVIS: Who's actually driving the boat? BRIAN: I don't know who's driving the boat, man. I don't know if we have time to go-- DANI: "I could give a monkey's ass "if you wanted to go or not, "you cheeseless quesadilla-looking orphan." (laughter) "On your left, you can see the robust "green foliage of the vast Jungle Ranch. "Isn't it ribbiting?" TRAVIS: Did she say ribbiting? BRIAN: Yes. DANI: "Now on your right, "you can see the beautiful flowers that blossom here. "Isn't the frog-rance just delightful?" TRAVIS: Frog-rance? BRIAN: Goddamn it. DANI: "Oh, and I almost frog-got." TRAVIS: Oh god. DANI: "Off in the distance over there, "you can see the Shattered Temple of Zolgrux the Mad." BRIAN: Zolcrase, wait, what? TRAVIS: Zolgrux? BRIAN: Wait, what the fuck? Zolgrux the Mad? What do I-- TRAVIS: Whoa! Go get my--! Come get my-- I'm dying! BRIAN: I tried to double, how do I double jump? Nope, nope. TRAVIS: (screams) Oh, I fucking missed him. How are you supposed to miss that? (speaking gibberish) A game full of multiple levels when all you need is one to want to murder your entire neighborhood. BRIAN: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It's kind of like-- TRAVIS: One and done. BRIAN: Oh shit, oh god. TRAVIS: I bet if we researched it, no one's ever beat a single level of this game, I'm pretty sure. BRIAN: I'm pretty sure. Max, can you look into that? How do I double jump? TRAVIS: You know that in Contra-- BRIAN: I got a pinky. TRAVIS: They made the first level passable. BRIAN: I got a pinky. TRAVIS: If we just stay here-- BRIAN: I don't think we're going to kill him, man. BRIAN: No. Fuck, gimme, gimme, oh fuck, oh! TRAVIS: (high-pitched screaming) BRIAN: I got this. TRAVIS: You'll take over the title if you can get it. BRIAN: I got this, man. TRAVIS: Yeah, you're there. BRIAN: What is that? What is that thing shooting at me? Fuck you, dude. TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah. BRIAN: Oh, god. TRAVIS: I think you're the new chosen one. BRIAN: That is all the time we have for-- I mean I got a C minus but-- TRAVIS: A brand new record. BRIAN: A brand new record. (intense ensemble music) MATT: (groaning) Oh. Would you look at that, I think it worked. You were right, Pumat number three. All we had to do was invoke that subscription cantrip. Pumat number three? Oh boy. Well, hello there, I'm Pumat Prime. It's good to finally join you here in the Prime dimension. I see this is the Twitch Prime realm I think and, whoa, we're on the Critical Role channel, aren't we? Well, would you look at that? You got chat and everything. Respectfully, I was looking for the prime rib realm, but this isn't too bad. You see, if you already have access to the Amazon Prime realm, you can get a free subscription to the channel of your choice in the Twitch Prime realm. The two realms have a pretty good working relationship after that peace treaty the Prime Minister signed a few years back. You just have to remember to renew your Twitch Prime subscription at the top of each month, respectfully and hey, if you're already a subscriber, you can spread the joy by gifting a subscription using the Gift a Sub button. That is, assuming the Empire hasn't sent the tax man to your shop here recently. All right, well off to find that darn elusive prime rib realm. Who knew the Prime dimension had so many pockets? Good luck. Pumat three? TALIESIN (V.O.): Subscribe. Re-subscribe. Brian Foster is not a cabbage. [dramatic music]

Part II
MATT: Welcome back, everybody. Before we get into the game, we have a winner. The winner of the awesome Wyrmwood giveaway box is musicmaiden97.

TRAVIS: Musicmaiden97.

MATT: Congratulations, musicmaiden97. We'll be in contact with you and get this sent out to you ASAP, well done.

SAM: (as Daft Punk) ♪ Musicmaiden97 ♪

MATT: Just like that.

TRAVIS: Electronic music from your hacker-- okay.

LAURA: That's the kind of music that a hacker listens to.

MATT: So, Jester, as you're watching this inspection, the glyphs are being shown, the pages are brought one after the other and the instruction comes to Caleb. The first spell in which Essek describes: "There are ways which you can manipulate "the gravity around specific objects "to become a fixed point in space. "Like for instance," and he takes out a small, it looks like a sack of some kind and pools up some gold dust in his hand and scatters it across one of the nearby chairs and takes it and lifts it up and he does a small series of finger motions that creates this slight spectral glyph. The gold-like dust pulls towards the glyph and then (poof) vanishes and he releases the chair and the chair remains fixed in space.

(clapping)

LIAM: I tug on it a little bit.

MATT: It does not budge at all.

LIAM: That is useful, yes, I know. That is useful.

MATT: "It's a meager trick, but it has many creative applications."

LAURA: Can you do it to people?

MATT: "No. To non-magical objects of a smaller size, but-- I mean, give it a tug. You're pretty strong; see if you can move it."

LIAM: Yes, Jester.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LIAM: Give it a tug.

LAURA: I'll give it the hardest tug I can.

MATT: Goddamn it. Make a strength check.

LAURA: Can I dangle from it?

(laughter)

MATT: Yes, you may dangle from it as you tug.

TALIESIN: Wow, that tugging's--

LAURA: Can I give myself Guidance? I'm a willing creature.

MATT: Sure.

TALIESIN: That was a dive bomb.

MARISHA: Is that real? Is that real?

LAURA: It was.

MARISHA: Was it like yours? That's sick.

LAURA: Oh, that's not good, 12.

MATT: 12, it does not move at all. You actually lift your entire body up off of this chair that is just frozen in place there in the middle--

LAURA: This is really awesome!

LIAM: Can you climb up and sit on it?

LAURA: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: It's at an angle, but you can do it--

LAURA: I'm going to hold onto the back of the chair.

MATT: So yeah.

LIAM: Is that comfortable?

LAURA: I mean, it's pretty cool. It's worth it.

MATT: "It lasts for about--"

LAURA: You can't see it, but my feet are kicking.

MATT: "It lasts for about an hour or until you wish it to stop." He snaps and the chair (thudding) onto the ground with Jester.

LAURA: (strained) Worth it.

MATT: "So. Hopefully this Immovable Object spell will be useful to you."

LIAM: I can come up with a few applications for it, yes.

MATT: "Here is something a little more... interesting and I will request that you be careful when using this in any public space outside of Rosohna."

LIAM: Understood.

MATT: "These are tricks that are pretty well-guarded."

LIAM: Are you putting yourself at risk by sharing these with me?

MATT: "Maybe, but let that be an extension of my trust in you and your friends. I expect hopefully the same trust in return."

LIAM: It is fairly established, I would like to think.

MATT: "Good."

LIAM: We are friends now.

MATT: "I like that. Friends. So, time. When you move through it, from moment to moment, you make choices. Each choice guides the next path of where this timeline will go. But when you make that choice, so many potential timelines are left to decay. So much potential lost to redistribute into the universe. Why not put some of that unused potential to use?" He procures a small piece of obsidian from inside and draws this quick (swoosh) across the air and you watch this line carve across and where it does, it looks like shadow pours out of it, but the shadow forms legs and a cloak. (Laura gasps) You see a black, shadowy, spectral copy of Essek.

LAURA: That's like (gasps).

MATT: "These are referred to as echoes. They are potential selves left to fade in unrealized timelines. Some elements of dunamancy have allowed us the ability to call them. After all, they are a piece of us. Why not make use of them before they are reabsorbed by time and space?"

LIAM: That is fascinating. I had some notion of this being in contact with your beacon. We had it for awhile and if you spent time with it, you sensed that very possibility.

MATT: "Some of our elite warriors known as Echo Knights specifically focus on this technique. But us as practitioners of arcane arts, it's a little more specific. For you see this version here contains a facet of my magical capabilities. It can cast one spell but when cast, it vanishes. And it can easily be destroyed as well. So, keep it safe."

LIAM: An even weaker wizard than I am.

MATT: "Don't tell it that. But anyway, come, I'll show you how to copy these down," and these spells become now available to you. The Resonant Echo spell and the Immovable Object spell.

LIAM: Hot dog.

TRAVIS: Shit.

LAURA: Can I practice them, too?

MATT: "Sure." He takes his book and hands it to you. "Tell me, what of these particular glyphs can you ascertain connections?" Make an arcana check.

TRAVIS: Come on.

LIAM: Roll high.

TRAVIS: Now is the time, now is the time.

LAURA: Guide me, Traveler.

LIAM: Commit to the bit.

LAURA: Fuck me running.

(laughter)

LAURA: (whispered) Fuck me running. 12. A measly 12.

MATT: It looks like absolute gibberish to you on the page.

LAURA: Balls.

MATT: "So what do you see?"

LAURA: I see... great peril... and... lots of time changing and I see, this little part kind of looks like a mouse and then over here, that's definitely, that's a tree, that's a tree because you can see it's got this line right here and then--

MATT: Make a deception check.

LAURA: Oh, fuck me. The dice hate me tonight. I got a natural one.

TRAVIS: You didn't guide yourself.

LAURA: It wasn't worth it.

MATT: As you're pointing out the tree, Essek slowly pulls the book away. "I think we'll keep this between the learned individuals."

LAURA: I'm learned in other ways.

MATT: "Of course you are."

LAURA: I could probably teach you some things, Essek.

MATT: "I--"

LAURA: I bet I could.

MATT: "I'm certain you might, but I am not particularly interested in what you have to teach. Nevertheless," he takes the book back and tucks it into the cloak. So, I will bid you goodbye. But remember, be careful. Echoes are definitely indicative of Dynasty abilities. It would be very easy for someone within the Empire to question your allegiance, should you be carrying one out in the open."

LIAM: (wryly) Why would they question my allegiance? With discretion, I understand perfectly.

MATT: "Very well. Good luck."

LAURA: Thanks.

MATT: "And, remember, should you find the location of such a beacon, time is of the essence. All right, goodbye."

LAURA: Hey, Essek.

MATT: "Mm-hmm?"

LAURA: Could you put that chair back in the air? It's just really cool up there.

MATT: "Your friend Caleb is able to do that now. It is not inexpensive."

LAURA: Oh. Okay.

MATT: "Do you have 25 gold to pass along?"

LAURA: Well, I mean, yeah, but I don't know if a chair in the air is worth that.

MATT: "That's exactly what I mean. But if you can convince him. All right."

LIAM: Auf Wiedersehen.

MATT: He leaves you to your devices, but with two more facets of dunamancy in your midst.

LIAM: (grunting)

TRAVIS: Fucking Timecop over here.

LAURA: I couldn't understand what those glyphs actually meant. I don't know if he thought that I did, but I didn't.

LIAM: Listen, you could've knocked that guy's block off, Jester. I wouldn't try to compare.

LAURA: Not if he was using spells against me at the time, I probably couldn't.

LIAM: I have seen you decimate a person with a giant piece of confection. I think that you can hold your own.

LAURA: Thanks, Caleb.

LIAM: It's an easy compliment to give.

LAURA: I walk up and I grab his hands. I just want to say that I know what you went through today in the cell was very, very hard and probably didn't go the way you were hoping it would. So if you need anyone to talk to about it or anything, I'm here for you, okay?

LIAM: (Caleb is speechless. He finally manages to mouth, “Okay.”)

LAURA: Okay. You got two new spells!

LIAM: So many more! You're a good friend.

LAURA: So are you.

LIAM: Will you do a little bit of boring shopping with me on the way back?

LAURA: Fuck yes.

LIAM: Okay. Nothing complicated. I would look for a place to buy chalk, gold dust, paper and ink.

MATT: Okay. Would you want a piece of obsidian as well?

LIAM: Oh, thank you for the reminder, yeah.

MATT: Okay, so for the obsidian, it's 50 gold.

LIAM: 50, right.

MATT: And for the gold dust, as much as you wish to purchase in equal amounts.

LIAM: 25 per?

MATT: Per casting, correct.

LIAM: Casting, yeah. Okay.

LIAM: (speaking gibberish)

TRAVIS: (more gibberish)

LAURA: Wah wah wee wah. I can help.

LIAM: I'm close to broke, actually.

TRAVIS: Same as it ever was.

LIAM: Um, you know-- I've got it. I will spend the money on the obsidian and 100 gold pieces worth of gold dust and I will write them out when I am able to.

LAURA: I'm going to buy him some paper and I'm going to buy 50 gold worth of gold dust as well. Just-- these are for special pranks that I want you to cast, okay? Like, I'm going to call in--

MATT: Oh no.

LAURA: -- the favor a couple times, I'm sure, and I just want you to be prepared.

MATT: I didn't think even about that.

TRAVIS: Oh, shit.

LIAM: We did. We definitely did.

MATT: What have I done?

LIAM: I will take this larger sack, and put it over here, and tie it off–

MATT: This'll be interesting.

LIAM: And your gold dust will go in here.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: That's yours.

MATT: This is exactly what the dunamancers of the world envisioned with their various space-bending secrets.

LAURA: ♪ This is why I wanted ♪ ♪ to be there. ♪

SAM: Immovable dick.

LIAM: What is this rusty trombone and why won't it move?

LAURA: How much is the paper? What are you needing? How much is paper that he wants?

LIAM: Oh gosh.

MATT: That would be his purview.

LAURA: How much do you need, what do you need?

LIAM: 50-- hold on.

MATT: 50 gold per level.

LIAM: Per level.

MATT: Yeah. So you need 300 gold.

LIAM: 200.

LAURA: Okay, 300 gold.

MATT: That's for the paper and ink.

LAURA: Got it.

LIAM: That is very generous of you. (She gives him the thumbs up. He starts to say something, hesitates.) I'll tell you later. We should meet up with everybody.

LAURA: Okay.

TALIESIN: I will have wanted to buy 250 gold worth of incense and 200 gold worth of ivory strips if I can find such things in town.

MATT: Yeah. It takes you a little bit, but you manage to find what you need across, I'd say, three different shops. But you manage to do so.

TALIESIN: Perfect.

MATT: Anybody else, anything?

SAM: Buy some lightweight but strong string, like fishing wire.

MATT: Yeah. Fishing wire is available.

TRAVIS: Piano cord, fishing wire.

SAM: And then like two ball bearings, but a little bigger than like marble size.

LIAM: Big balls.

SAM: Yeah, big--

TRAVIS: Brass balls?

SAM: Minotaur balls.

TRAVIS: Those are like eggs.

SAM: Maybe not that--

MATT: Yeah. I mean there are--

SAM: I'm trying to make like a bolo-- is that what you call the thing?

MATT: A bola, yeah.

SAM: Bola.

MARISHA: Yeah, sure.

TRAVIS: Bolo.

MATT: Bolo. Ba--(mumbles). There are fishing weights, actually, that are about the size that you need for that.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: You can get some cable, I wouldn't say-- you can probably get fishing line, but it's not going to be very strong.

SAM: Whatever you think is right.

MATT: Wound cable has a little more tensile strength. If you just want one set of-- you said two weights and one--?

SAM: How about two in case I fuck up.

MATT: I'll say, because there's some custom knowledge to it, I'd say five gold for the two.

SAM: Okay. Great.

MATT: All right, anyone else, anything to do here?

MARISHA: Mm-mm.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Start reaching out and touching someone tonight.

MATT: All righty. So, while the night sky is ever present over Rosohna, you assume and you know from just your general awareness of time passage, though the constant shifting of location does take you a little bit of adjustment from having to figure out where you are versus what time of day it is, especially in Rosohna. You gather the evening has come. So the night, after a day of traversing, investigating, conversations and learning, the evening is here.

LAURA: Should I Scry on some people?

SAM: For sure. So we should make a list of all the people we should Scry on.

LAURA: Scry and chill?

SAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Good idea.

SAM: How many Scrys do you got?

LAURA: I got two Scrys.

SAM: Nobody else does it?

TALIESIN: I can after-- if I take a nap.

SAM: Like tomorrow.

TALIESIN: Tomorrow I can do it. I have some stuff I can do today though.

SAM: Who's on our list? We got the blond guy.

TRAVIS: Yep.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: We got Trent Ikithon.

LAURA: Yeah, I have a feeling he'd be pretty hard to Scry on, but I could try it.

SAM: We got--

TRAVIS: The Gentleman.

LAURA: We've got the Gentleman.

SAM: But we could just talk to him.

LAURA: Well yeah, but he could be lying.

TRAVIS: And he might not be where he last was.

SAM: But we can start by talking to him.

LAURA: We've got--

SAM: We've got Astrid.

LIAM: Yes, I would be curious. That's probably not going to work, but I would be curious to see-- the same with Trent. It would be an experiment with very--

LAURA: Could you disguise yourself? Could you make yourself look like her so I would know exactly what she looks like?

TALIESIN: That's--

LIAM: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Clever.

SAM: We also got--

TRAVIS: The Laughing Hand, Yasha.

MARISHA: Yasha.

SAM: Vess DeRogna. These are other--

LIAM: There are quite a few of them.

SAM: Martinet Ludinus Da'leth.

LIAM: Trent Ikithon--

TALIESIN: Didn't occur to me until just now, we have pissed off a lot of people.

LIAM: Ludinus Da'leth is in charge.

SAM: What did you say, Ludinus--?

LIAM: Ludinus Da'leth, Martinet Ludinus Da'leth.

SAM: Ludinus Da'leth and then there was--

MARISHA: Your other friend.

LIAM: Here we go, there is--

SAM: Vess DeRogna.

LIAM: Yes, Vess DeRogna, Archmage of Antiquity. There is Lord Athesias Uludan. Master Doolan Tversky.

LAURA: There's a lot in the Academy members. Aren't they all going to be pretty guarded as far as this goes? I imagine their blocking capabilities might be higher than my scrying capabilities.

SAM: Maybe.

LAURA: I don't know.

TALIESIN: Hard to get a handle on.

LIAM: There are eight positions that rule the Assembly and then beneath them, somebody's-- what's the right word? Deputized is not it, they are what are referred to as Annexes. They have a lot of responsibility, but there are eight at the top, always. When one of them is no longer for this world, they either bequeath it to one of their children or it is handed off to someone deemed worthy.

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: So they only pass off power when they die?

LAURA: So they're pretty old, all of them?

LIAM: Not all of them.

MARISHA: It feels like their interest in dunamancy makes a lot more sense.

LIAM: Jenna Iresor, Archmage of Industry is younger. She handles business.

SAM: We've seen her, no, we've heard of her. We saw her in Felderwin? Maybe not.

LIAM: It's been a long time in-game. I feel like we came into contact with Oremid Hass or heard of Oremid Hass.

MATT: Oremid Hass you came in contact with briefly at the-- If I recall, you saw him at the tournament where you guys battled in the center during the festival.

MARISHA: Yes, I'm actually looking at that.

MATT: In the center, during the festival.

LIAM: And we heard about Vess DeRogna when we were–

MATT: Vess DeRogna you saw her in Felderwin.

LIAM: With the dude in charge.

MATT: Yes, with Ludinus Da'leth.

LIAM: Ludinus Da'leth and--

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: DeRogna's the Archmage of Antiquity. She would've been the one who would've understood or known what the beacon was.

MATT: Supposed to be closest.

LIAM: Could be, could be the person who had the tripod. She knows about--

LAURA: We need to check out that tripod. You know we've never checked it out?

SAM: What do you mean checked it out, just like look at it?

LAURA: Yeah, we've never fully inspected it, have we?

TRAVIS: I think we identified it.

SAM: We could, maybe we could ascertain where the metal comes from or how it was made.

LAURA: Can we pull out the tripod?

LIAM: Yeah, let's do that.

TRAVIS: We never talked to your husband about the tripod?

LAURA: No.

SAM: Oops!

LAURA: We never did.

SAM: We could also do that.

LAURA: I could send a message to him.

SAM: Sure, sure, sure.

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: I'm adding him to the list.

TALIESIN: A message, which is much easier than scrying.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

TALIESIN: Should I begin a ritual for this, for the Luxon?

SAM: What ritual?

LAURA: Oh, so you can find out some stuff about it, yeah?

TALIESIN: I can ask the Wildmother to tell me as much about-- we've never really delved deep into what it is or what it can do.

LIAM: We need all the information we can get.

TALIESIN: This might be a good start.

LIAM: It's a wonderful suggestion, Caduceus.

SAM: You know, Jester, this feels a lot like a good old fashioned mystery.

LAURA: It really does. We just have to gather up the clues and the evidence and then we will find exactly what we're looking for.

SAM: And then question the suspects.

LAURA: Yes.

SAM: And one'll crack.

TALIESIN: It's very impressive that you've learned to meditate in this crowd. It's not easy.

LAURA: The beacon will be ours.

TALIESIN: I am going to begin lighting, making a little corner and beginning Legend Lore.

MATT: Legend Lore, okay.

TRAVIS: Can I assist you in some way?

TALIESIN: You could get everyone to quiet down a bit.

TRAVIS: Everyone, shut the fuck up.

SAM: See, see, vow of silence right there. He's already doing it.

MATT: Okay. So, it takes you a brief moment to set up. It's not extremely extensive. The incense is consumed at the moment of invoking the Legend Lore spell. You watch Caduceus' eyes go wide and suddenly the irises are just clouded over. At first, you look snow blind, but you can see a slight movement, like there's some sort of a shifting fog within the eye.

LAURA: I'm drawing the shit out of Caduceus right now.

MATT: All righty. You are asking about The Luxon.

TALIESIN: Specifically and especially the one that we're missing.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: The other of the pair.

MATT: The one that you're looking for?

TALIESIN: Yes.

MATT: The one that you're looking for, that beacon is one of many, of which only a few have been found. This was uncovered probably 700 years ago.

TALIESIN: 700.

MATT: And was carved out of what is now known as Blightshore from the Penumbra Range that divides Blightshore and Xhorhas. This beacon, like many are considered to be parts of the Luxon. Remnants left behind of some light being pre-history. Each one of these legendary objects contains within it much potential. It contains the prospect of time, the prospect of decision, of destinies and breaking them and those who bind themselves to the Luxon through the beacon find themselves brought into the ever-spinning cycle of rebirth.

TALIESIN: No stories of this particular object, of where it's been, who's been in contact with it?

MATT: Many figures have been in contact with it. The Bright Queen, through two different lives. It has seen open worship on days of chosen sunlight in which the nightfall is dispelled and the people of Rosohna and Xhorhas bask in the sun. Even those who find pain and challenge in its presence, as it is part of the worship. You've seen it grasped and ushered out in the night and given to figures who are not meant to hold it.

TALIESIN: How long ago, can I tell how long ago, for how long it's been in other hands? I know.

MATT: It's not really of legendary importance. I would say no.

TALIESIN: Fair.

MATT: You get brief images of just the timeline that it has tumbled through and that's about as much as you can grasp. Unfortunately, a lot of the information you already knew.

TALIESIN: That's okay, it's nice to have some confirmed timeline and it's nice to have--

TRAVIS: Location to start.

TALIESIN: We also know that there's more than two.

LAURA: Yeah, we knew that already.

TALIESIN: I guess we did know that already. That's fair. At the end, we also know where it was made.

MARISHA: Blightshore?

TALIESIN: Blightshore and Xhorhas.

LAURA: The Penumbra Range.

TALIESIN: Penumbra.

LIAM: Is Blightshore the name of a mountain?

MATT: The Penumbra Range is actually the mountain range on the eastern side of Xhorhas.

LIAM: Blightshore is a mountain there, or...?

MATT: From what you ascertained, it was found somewhere near the base of the mountain range on the Blightshore side, which is the eastern land to Xhorhas. It's also known as the Miskath Strand, that's its classic historical name, but Blightshore is what it's called since the Calamity.

TALIESIN: Interesting. Well, if it was 700 years ago, then it was probably not the Blightshore quite yet.

MATT: It would have been shortly after the Calamity. The Calamity was over 800 years ago.

TALIESIN: All right, all right. Well, that's a start.

SAM: Well, let's start the scry parade, shall we?

LAURA: Yeah, who should I start with?

SAM: Caleb, this is really--

LAURA: Do you want, ooh, ooh, ooh, do you want me to send a message to Yeza first, Yeza?

SAM: Okay, well if we're going to do that, we're going to ask him where did the tripod come from, who gave it to him?

TRAVIS: What's it made of?

SAM: Well.

TALIESIN: How about everything he can tell us about the tripod.

SAM: In 25 words.

TALIESIN: In 25 words.

SAM: Where did it come from, who gave it to him?

LAURA: What's it for?

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Do we know what it's for?

SAM: It's for holding the--

LAURA: Yeah, but--

TRAVIS: Amplifying maybe.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Why not four feet?

TRAVIS: They we're also trying to create, anyway.

MARISHA: Like siphons.

LAURA: Udders. Dunamancy udders.

SAM: Oh wow.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Secrete time.

TALIESIN: It's dairy-mancy.

LAURA: Got to milk the time.

LIAM: I remember dunamancy.

TALIESIN: Caleb remembers.

(laughter)

SAM: So, 25 words.

LAURA: Yes.

SAM: We're safe.

LAURA: We're safe.

SAM: Question.

LAURA: Question, question.

SAM: Where was tripod made?

TRAVIS: Don't plan, just go for it.

SAM: Who gave to you?

LAURA: I'm going to send a message to Yeza, stop it.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Just omit all the verbs, talk like a cave man.

LAURA: Hey, we're safe.

SAM: No.

LAURA: Tripod. Who made? Where from? What for?

(laughter)

SAM: Fire bad.

MARISHA: How's Luc?

LAURA: How's Luc?

TRAVIS: Don't waste that shit.

SAM: Be brief in your responses. You can tell him that too, right?

LAURA: You've got 25 words to respond to this message. Poop.

SAM: Oh, there's one more.

MATT: I love this spell so much.

LAURA: So we beat a dragon up.

MATT: "Wow."

TRAVIS: "Poop."

MATT: "I am confused."

LAURA: He's wasting some of it.

MATT: "Luc is fine."

LAURA: Luc is good.

SAM: I mean, that's good, but...

MATT: "A dragon's a lot. I'm not sure I know what you meant. Tripod?" And that's it.

LAURA: He doesn't know what a tripod is. Let's pull it out, is this a tripod?

SAM: Pull it out, wait, who has it? You have it.

MARISHA: It's in the Bag of Holding.

LAURA: He has it.

TALIESIN: Thup, thup, thup, thup.

MATT: It is, it's a platinum tripod and it has a couple of--

MARISHA: It's platinum?

LAURA: This whole thing is platinum?

MARISHA: We've been fucking sitting on platinum!

LAURA: Okay, keep going.

MARISHA: Sorry.

MATT: It is lighter than you'd expect a solid platinum tripod to be.

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: (to Caleb) Does it, is this magical?

LAURA: Let him keep going.

SAM: Let him finish his sentence.

MARISHA: Sorry.

MATT: The top of it, it has, it's like, the triangular portion where the three pieces come together, there are protrusions that look like they were in place to hold where the beacon would settle into, what the handles would rest on and where the bottom part of it would be held. So it had multiple points of contact to keep it in place. It looked like there were a couple of other small mechanisms beneath it where things could be affixed, whether it be, you actually as an alchemist recognize there are portions at the bottom where it looks like you would affix vials or jars or things that would gather and collect--

LAURA: Oh, it's a milking device. It really is.

TRAVIS: Thank you.

MATT: That's the best you can ascertain.

SAM: So if he didn't know about it.

LAURA: Maybe he just didn't remember that I was talking about that tripod. I mean, it is kind of--

SAM: You should've been more specific.

LAURA: (sternly) Nott.

(laughter)

SAM: I'm just, this is one detective to another. It's constructive criticism. All right, who's next?

MATT: My instinct was to hide and then run away from the scene.

MARISHA: Wait, is it magical, though? I still want an answer to that question.

LIAM: I take the tripod and I put it down.

TALIESIN: Detect Magic.

MATT: It is not magical.

LAURA: It's not magical.

TRAVIS: It's money.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: It seems light for platinum, though.

MARISHA: Can I--

LAURA: Is it hollow?

MARISHA: Yeah, is it hollow?

MATT: It's hollow.

MARISHA: Can I--

TRAVIS: Then it's less money.

MARISHA: I want to take it, and I want to whack it against the ground.

MATT: Okay, make a strength check.

MARISHA: Just a strength check?

TALIESIN: You're going to break it.

MARISHA: Goddammit.

LIAM: That's another three, that's the third time she's done that.

LAURA: Are you rolling with the same dice every time?

TRAVIS: This is the second time.

MARISHA: Yes.

LIAM: Yes, she is.

MARISHA: I am.

TALIESIN: Perhaps the d3.

MARISHA: Just a strength check, three.

MATT: Three, okay. You don't bend it, you don't permanently damage it. It hits the ground, (boof) you hear the hollow tube element at the center of the side that impacts.

TALIESIN: It's collapsible, right?

MATT: Somewhat, yeah, like there's two pieces--

MARISHA: Are you getting the same idea I'm getting?

TALIESIN: No, probably not.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Shit, I'm not talking to Percy anymore.

TALIESIN: No.

TRAVIS: "No, probably not."

MARISHA: Okay.

SAM: All right. Stay on task, stay on task. It's not about the tripod.

MARISHA: It could be a cool new weapon.

LAURA: Scrying.

TRAVIS: The Penumbra Range is not far from where we are and on our map, there are these little islands out in the lake that have runes on them. I don't know if that matters or not.

LIAM: We've read those.

MARISHA: We've read those.

TRAVIS: Oh, okay.

LAURA: We could maybe go to the mountain range and just find another beacon in the range.

TALIESIN: Let's prod a bit more before we get there.

LIAM: We're going to--

SAM: You mean like someone who is watching someone else's cat and it dies and you go to a pet store and get a cat that's the same color--

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: And bring it to the person?

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: People do that?

SAM: Well, I-- you know, yeah.

TALIESIN: Wow. That's dark.

LAURA: Have you ever done that?

TRAVIS: Are you talking about the plot to Meet the Fockers?

LIAM: We're going to try to scry on someone.

LAURA: Yes.

LIAM: Okay. Do you know who you would prefer to start with?

LAURA: No.

SAM: Someone that we've seen would probably be the most successful.

LAURA: We could try with Vess.

LIAM: So I cast Seeming and I make Beauregard look like Astrid and I make Fjord look like Eadwulf and I make myself look like Trent Ikithon and I make Nott look like a tiny Vess DeRogna and I make Caduceus look like, oh, Marquise Jenna Iresor, Iresor?

MATT: Jenna Iresor; technically, she's a Baroness. The Marquise was a temporary title.

LIAM: Okay. Archmage of Industry. Trent is, well you've seen Trent before but it's been awhile, so that's a refresher.

TRAVIS and MARISHA: (mumbles) ♪ It's been a while ♪

TALIESIN: Don't do it.

LIAM: Astrid is roughly Jester's height, but she has short brown– she looks like she's 17. That is when I saw her last. She has got short brown hair, maybe four-five inches long. She is slight. She has attractive but severe features. Eadwulf is taller than Caleb is now, and is fairly muscular, and has like a buzzed shorn head of black hair. A serious look until Fjord says something. And he's got thick black hair on his forearms.

SAM: But Vess DeRogna and Lunidus De'Leth we saw in the proximity of–

LAURA: Yeah, we saw them at–

LIAM: We saw Vess DeRogna and we saw Ludinus Da'leth.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: And then Oremid Hass.

LIAM: Oremid Hass we saw, yeah.

MARISHA: But in a different place.

LIAM: In Zadash.

SAM: Maybe we should start with those since we've seen them near one of these Luxons.

LIAM: We're looking at some of them right now.

LAURA: Okay. I'm going to just remember what Astrid looks like.

SAM: Astrid?

LAURA: Well, just so I have it. I'm going to try to not get bogged down with the details in their hairstyle and everything because it's probably changed by now. How long ago was this that you knew them again, Caleb?

LIAM: Uh. 33. Ten, 13, shit, I've got all this down somewhere. It's a long time ago. I was 16 years old.

LAURA: Oh. A long time, then.

LIAM: 16, 17.

LAURA: 'Cause you're like super old now, right?

TALIESIN: Almost 20 years.

LIAM: I'm 33 years old.

LAURA: Wow, you're so old.

(laughing)

TALIESIN: That's funny to everyone at the table for some reason.

MATT: Shut up, Marisha.

MARISHA: Skewing that bell curve.

LIAM: The last time I saw her, I was 17.

LAURA: Okay, okay.

LIAM: She was 18.

LAURA: Okay. Going for those older girls. Okay. I'm going to try to scry on Vess.

MATT: Vess DeRogna?

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I'm going to sit down and I'm going to think real hard about her. I'm going to hold onto my Traveler symbol and I'm going to go: I know this isn't a cult, okay? I know. And then I'm going to think about her.

MATT: Okay. As you clutch your hand and you say that, you feel the hands clasp yours and he says "Cult? That's amusing."

LAURA: Right?

MATT: "Quite amusing. Unfortunately, something keeps our vision at bay."

LAURA: I knew that was going to happen. These people are super powerful.

MATT: "So it would seem," and the hands relax and you see as you look back around, the brief scattering of green cloak before it vanishes out of your periphery and you look back and there's nobody there.

LAURA: Did you see him?

SAM: No.

LAURA: You didn't see him?

TRAVIS: See who?

LAURA: You guys, you're so crazy. You've got to pay attention when I'm scrying because he always comes around when I'm scrying.

LIAM: So one of the Assembly was shielded from you, which is not surprising to me because I am shielded from them.

LAURA: Oh, well yeah.

LIAM: Probably the same is true for one of the Volstrucker, but not definite and then we have scryed on this blond fellow before.

LAURA: We can try him again.

LIAM: And Yasha we have scryed on before.

LAURA: Yeah. I don't think Yasha will know about the beacon, but we could scry on her just for shits and giggles.

MARISHA: I wonder if she's even still on the same plane as us.

TRAVIS: Oh god, is that even possible?

MARISHA: What?

TRAVIS: That she could be on another plane?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah. Did you see the black anus-looking void that the fucking thing was coming through?

TRAVIS: Yes, I hadn't quite paired that with a rectum, but yes.

LAURA: It did look like a really big butthole, didn't it?

MARISHA: A giant butthole.

TRAVIS: Never be able to shake that imagery.

LAURA: Oh, poor Yasha. Just having to go into a butthole all the time.

SAM: Do you want to message the Gentleman then? That's a surefire winner.

LAURA: Message him or scry on him?

TALIESIN: Message him.

SAM: Message him.

TALIESIN: He's just going to be doing things.

LAURA: I don't know, what if he's doing secret business meetings?

TALIESIN: I don't think it's going to be business meetings.

LAURA: If he's anything, you know, like my mama, the business meetings are the other things. You can accomplish a lot.

TALIESIN: That's a fair point. Still, a message might be the better way to go.

LAURA: All right.

SAM: Before you go--

LAURA: Mm-hm.

SAM: "Gentleman, Assembly, you have contacts?"

TRAVIS: Oh, god.

TALIESIN: No.

SAM: "You have connection?"

LAURA: This is the stupidest--

SAM: You're omitting just unimportant words to save space, is what I'm saying.

LAURA: It's stupid! It makes me sound dumb. I don't like it.

TALIESIN: Would we also be asking about the beacon?

SAM: "Beacon, where?"

TALIESIN: No.

TRAVIS: Poop.

TALIESIN: Poop.

LAURA: No, I'm not doing that.

MARISHA: It's her version of stop.

LAURA: This is possibly my father, you guys. I have to sound cool.

TALIESIN: Yeah, you do.

LAURA: Okay, I'm going to send a message to the Gentleman. He is always really happy to hear from me.

MATT: Right.

LAURA: Hi, dad.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Oh my god! Right out the fucking gate?

TALIESIN: Wow.

TRAVIS: Where is your chill? Shit!

LAURA: So looks like we may be coming back to the area you're in. Do you know anything about this, like, beacon thing? Also would love to see you.

SAM: (groans)

LAURA: What are you doing right now?

TRAVIS: Nope, that's it.

MARISHA: I love Sam's disapproval.

MATT: "I assume this is Jester."

TRAVIS: No announcement. (pounding)

MATT: "I'm not your father. I don't know what a beacon is and I'm busy. But come say hi if you're in town. Might be work."

LAURA: He super duper misses us, you guys.

SAM: Oh, really?

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

TRAVIS: Did you know in the beginning of your message that you said "Hi, dad?"

LAURA: Yeah!

TRAVIS: You led with that.

LAURA: Well, I've already told him I know he's my dad.

TRAVIS: Oh, and how did he take it?

LAURA: He said, he's like, "Oh my gosh, Jester, I've been waiting for a long time to talk to you and see you and gosh, I missed you growing up and I can't wait to learn more about your life and stuff."

TRAVIS: This was all in the reply?

LAURA: Not this particular time-- he said that before. This time he was just like, "Oh my gosh, Jester. I'm so glad it's you and I miss you so much and please tell your friends to come and visit me. I don't know what the beacon is though," is what he said.

TRAVIS: Sure.

SAM: A potential lead maybe.

TALIESIN: For the record, I'm going to drop a pair of percentile dice right now just because I'm curious.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Ooh.

MATT: What are you--?

TALIESIN: What? Nope.

SAM: What are you--

LAURA: What do you have to get?

TALIESIN: I was just going to ask what direction we should-- in what direction we should find the beacon.

LAURA: You have to roll lower than your level? Is that how this works?

MATT: Yeah, because you have Divine Intervention now. It's a 10% chance. You have to roll a 10 or lower on the percentile dice.

TALIESIN: I rolled an 18.

LAURA: So if this had been a zero, you would've gotten--

TALIESIN: No, well yeah, actually yeah. If this had been a zero, I would've gotten it.

MATT: Do make your requests before you roll.

TALIESIN: Okay, that's fair. I already knew what I was asking but I was--

MATT: Right, right, fair enough.

TALIESIN: I know it's down for the long rest.

MATT: It's all good.

TALIESIN: All right.

SAM: Well.

LIAM: Well.

LAURA: I haven't scryed on a second person.

LIAM: I think it is probably a safe bet that all the Assembly are equally protected. So our options are--

TRAVIS: Blondie.

LIAM: Blondie.

SAM: Or Yasha.

LIAM: Or a student. Yasha-- let's figure out where we're going tonight and then Yasha, we could do tomorrow.

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: Do you think Astrid is--

LAURA: Probably the same way that you are.

MARISHA: Yeah, if she's been in the-- in with the Volstrucker for that amount of time.

LIAM: I would have received this had I finished my training.

MARISHA: Did you get that from prison lady?

LIAM: Nope.

LAURA: Did you steal it?

LIAM: Pretty much.

MARISHA: What's it do?

LIAM: Makes sure that I cannot be seen or found by someone like Jester.

MARISHA: Oh.

TALIESIN: So.

MARISHA: So they have to have not completed their training yet.

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: Would anyone who's even finished their training be entrusted with something like knowing where the beacon is?

LIAM: No, I was fairly isolated while I was being instructed.

TRAVIS: No offense, it seems like those of his ilk are used more for offensive or upsetting, clandestine missions.

LAURA: Maybe I'll scry on...

TRAVIS: Blondie.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: Blondie, I guess.

TRAVIS: Maybe we'll get lucky and he'll overhear something.

LAURA: Although I think Blondie was just in it for the portals, right? He didn't have anything to do with the beacon.

TALIESIN: Well, we honestly don't know what's connected to what yet. Although it is strange that all this is happening at the same time.

MARISHA: We scryed on him because we got a fraction of his robe that was left behind with one of the portals.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: So are we even sure if what's his demon face that abducted Yasha wasn't that guy, but under disguise?

LAURA: I don't think it was the same person.

MARISHA: A different person, okay.

LAURA: I don't know.

MARISHA: Because we were trying to like track--

LAURA: Yeah, he had the book.

MARISHA: He led us; he had the book. I mean, we can try because he was in the room with Dol-- Dalan? Kingidoo.

LIAM: Dwendal.

MARISHA: Dwendal! Like you said, I don't know--

TRAVIS: Do it.

MARISHA: But do it.

LAURA: All right, I'm going to scry on old Blondie.

LIAM: We'll learn something.

MATT: All right. What's your spell DC?

TRAVIS: One day we'll get a man inside of a teacup.

LAURA: I think it's seven-- yeah, 17.

MATT: Feeling the proximity of the Gentleman-- not the Gentleman, the Traveler a second time. So many "the, the" male characters in the past half hour.

TRAVIS: The waiter.

MATT: The Traveler sits at your side. Puts his hands around yours. "His will's strong, I'm sorry."

MARISHA: Fuck.

SAM: Again.

LAURA: Mother bitch.

SAM: Balls.

LAURA: I'm useless today, I'm absolutely useless.

MARISHA: It's been a long day.

TRAVIS: I wouldn't say that. Some of us have just been sitting here watching, so. (The Fly returns)

TALIESIN: Well.

MARISHA: Get the fucking-- gods!

MATT: The battle continues.

TALIESIN: I think that's a mosquito now. I think we've upgraded.

LAURA: I hope not, I've gotten bit up.

TRAVIS: He's more nimble than his predecessor.

TALIESIN: Yeah. Well, there is still one option available to us.

SAM: Which is?

TALIESIN: There's always the Wildmother.

SAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: Do you want to help me go through this?

TRAVIS: Of course.

TALIESIN: All right, the last ditch is some Commune. I'm going to burn my last fifth of the day and let's have a Commune with the Wildmother.

MATT: All right. As you concentrate, you feel your consciousness expand a bit. You focus in your mind on the tree above you and through that tree, use it almost like a-- a divining rod to gain her attention. The warmth washes over you and you sense that she can hear your request.

TALIESIN: We're following many strange directions on this path that we're on. We currently search for a beacon of the Luxon. Would you know which direction or where we might travel to find that which we seek?

MATT: Unfortunately, the questions have to be yes or no.

TALIESIN: Or they-- that's right, they need to be super-- so they can be answered, that's right.

MATT: They need to be answered with a yes or a no or an uncertain answer.

TALIESIN: Or an uncertain. All right, sorry.

MATT: Yeah, it's the Ouija board of special spells.

TALIESIN: All right. May I take a re--

MATT: I'll let you retake because you would know this.

TALIESIN: Yeah. Will we find what we're looking for in the islands to the south?

MATT: "Yes."

TALIESIN: Does our friend Yasha work against us at this moment, on this quest?

(zap)(Travis electrocutes the fly) (cheering)

LIAM: Dead for a ducat, dead!

(zap) (Travis shocks it again, just making sure) (laughter)

LIAM: Jesus.

TALIESIN: That which is dead cannot die.

MATT: All righty.

LIAM: Revenant.

MATT: The question was?

TALIESIN: Is Yasha working against us?

MATT: Against the quest?

TALIESIN: Against this particular quest, yeah.

MATT: "No."

LAURA: (whispering) Does this look like Uk'otoa?

TALIESIN: Have we met those who would keep us-- those who would keep us from this artifact? Are they known to us? Have we seen their faces?

MATT: "Uncertain." You get the sense--

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: That when you made a request about the mission or quest you were on--

TALIESIN: The quest, the islands seemed to ping. But it could be a lot of--

MATT: There are many quests you are on.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: That answer pertained to one of them.

TALIESIN: Okay. There is something in those islands at the very least.

LAURA: Are they looking at the fly?

TALIESIN: They're looking at the fly.

SAM: It's still alive?

MARISHA: It still lives.

LIAM: You're gone, Vax, you're gone. (zapping)(Travis presses the swatter down shocking it repeatedly.)

SAM: Oh, god.

LAURA: Is it dead?

MATT: Jesus.

LAURA: Is it finally dead?

SAM: That was horrifying.

LAURA: I don't like it when they're still alive.

TALIESIN: The ones we were just speaking of with the rune.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Oh no-- I mean-- yeah.

MATT: Those are in a lake.

TALIESIN: Those are in a lake, okay.

MATT: So those are what you were referring to.

TALIESIN: That was. But not, I--

MATT: Uncertain.

TALIESIN: I'll also say that there was-- in the spell, you don't actually have to answer with a yes, no, or uncertain. You can be vaguely more specific if you choose to. I can only ask questions--

MATT: Okay, now. Fair enough, fair enough.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: Fair enough, then--

LIAM: The magic eight ball says--

TALIESIN: The magic eight ball says, yeah.

MATT: So for the first question, the answer would be--

TALIESIN: Not those islands, apparently.

MATT: "In that direction."

TALIESIN: All right. I have a very vague lead towards something at the very least. So if we want to-- if we have nothing else, that is a way to go.

SAM: What is your lead?

TALIESIN: I would have said most of this out loud, so. There is something worth our attention to the islands south of us.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: Southwest of Rosohna.

TALIESIN: Southwest. Yeah, the one's back in that--

MATT: Somewhere in that direction is something of interest perhaps.

SAM: Well, poop. What do we do? You know, the one-- we could-- do you think Dairon would know anything about where this thing might be kept?

MARISHA: I don't know if she would know anything currently, but she may have directions, she might be able to answer some questions.

TALIESIN: Would she tell you?

MARISHA: Yeah, she would tell me. She wants to work together. If anything, it's us that's been aloof. Did you see that?

TALIESIN: I don't think I can be aloof.

SAM: Well.

MARISHA: Natural 20. I accidentally dropped it.

SAM: What do we do?

LIAM: We should bring Dairon--

MARISHA: I need to talk to Dairon at some point.

LIAM: --further into our plans.

LAURA: Well, then--

MARISHA: We could go and maybe-- I don't.

TRAVIS: You know, Rumblecusp Island on the Menagerie Coast also has a volcano. That's southwest of--

TALIESIN: Since we have to be there anyway. And there is a wizard we can talk to.

MARISHA: If-- If we're going to try and make it to Traveler Con, we're going to have to get back on the boat.

SAM: We have months for that.

TALIESIN: Weeks.

MARISHA: Six weeks.

LAURA: Seven weeks.

SAM: Yeah, but it seems like this is a bit more-- no offense but this is a bit more pressing, no? We're not going to wait six weeks to start looking for the Luxon.

TALIESIN: I think we have to keep shaking bushes, personally. And I don't know if it's-- this thing has been lost for a while and I don't think we're going to find it in the next 48-- I don't think we're going to find a state secret in the next 48 hours.

SAM: No, but we also don't need to go to get ready for Traveler Con six weeks early.

TALIESIN: No, there's other things to do.

LAURA: Speak for yourself

TALIESIN: And there's people to talk to there. At least it's a place to go to start shaking bushes.

MARISHA: I'm just pointing out that it's going to take a little bit of time to get on a boat and travel. Not six weeks' worth.

SAM: Sure, sure, sure. It just would be nice to have one lead somewhere in the Empire.

TALIESIN: Well, if we get into the Empire, then we have to get out of the Empire.

SAM: We have a teleport guy.

TRAVIS: We do.

LIAM: I think that we should let Beauregard discuss with Dairon and then we should return.

MARISHA: What are y'all's comfortability with Dairon?

SAM: Return to what?

LIAM: Home.

SAM: To the Empire?

LAURA: If you trust her, Beau, then we trust her.

TRAVIS: Seconded.

MARISHA: I know she wants in a little bit more. It's just tricky.

TALIESIN: Maybe they'd be willing for me to... get a sense of just how trustworthy they are.

MARISHA: It's not a doubt of my trust.

TALIESIN: I'm talking about our trust, my trust.

MARISHA: Do you feel like you need that?

TALIESIN: I'd like it.

MARISHA: All right. What are you going to do to her?

TALIESIN: Cast a bit of a truth spell.

MARISHA: Okay. Good luck.

TALIESIN: I mean the idea would be not sneakily, but to ask if--

MARISHA: Yeah, no, asking would be polite.

TALIESIN: Asking if we could, you know, just make sure that all the cards are on the table.

MARISHA: What do we want to have her do? Do we want to have her try and stay here and be like our liaison while we're gone?

SAM: Whatever she wants to do. I'm mostly concerned with any leads or information she might have about how they move things around in the Empire.

LIAM: Yes, she's a little restricted here on her own, but perhaps this is where she prefers to be. I too, Nott, would like to know. We tell her everything, what we are trying to accomplish, what we need to find, and maybe it will ring a bell for her. Something. By the way, just as a bit of flare here, everyone is still under Seeming and people may or may not notice Caleb occasionally just staring at Seeming Astrid for stretches of time before shaking out of it multiple times.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I'm going to go get Dairon.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Dairon, I look like Caleb's ex, don't be weird.

MATT: Dairon comes back down the stairs. "I appreciate the warning."

MARISHA: We were doing a little thought experiment.

MATT: She puts the dagger away. "This is very... curious."

TALIESIN: Oh, I forgot.

MATT: "I am not one to ask. What do you require?"

LIAM: I drop Seeming.

MATT: "Ah, much better. So?"

MARISHA: We're trying to figure out our plan going forward.

MATT: "Mm-hm."

MARISHA: We've been tasked to try and find the last lost beacon, to potentially bring this whole war to the end that I think we all want to see. I figured I'd come out of the gate with it.

TRAVIS: That's good, yeah.

TALIESIN: I'm impressed.

MATT: "So you are on a mission for the Dynasty? Correct? To return an artifact of great power to the Bright Queen. Again."

MARISHA: I am on a mission with my team and my family that we believe could help bring an end to this conflict. It has nothing to do with sides. It has to do with wanting to see the end to death and suffering.

MATT: Dairon--

MARISHA: If some-- sorry.

MATT: Continue.

MARISHA: If a bunch of wizard fucks stole an artifact in their ostentatious and vain search for more fucking power or eternal life or whatever the fuck, I don't honestly care. I'd rather give it back and not continue to watch my people die because of some aristocratic, powerful, highfalutin piece of shit's overall mission.

LIAM: You've expressed your problems with the Assembly yourself. Their intentions are not... worthy. The Empire would be better without them.

MARISHA: Yeah, I've seen racism, I've seen bigotry, I've seen hatred coming from both sides. All of that only added fuel to this giant fucking fire. If we can maybe remove one of these... bombs, I don't know, whatever, remove any amount of pressure, don't you think that's fucking worth it?

MATT: Dairon's eyes have not moved to Caleb or anyone else and have just been focused on reading you. She takes a few slightly aggressive steps in your direction and looks you but a few inches from your face. "And you truly believe this? As an Expositor, for everything that we represent, under the gaze of the Knowing Mistress herself, you believe this and would stake your life on it?"

MARISHA: You told me to seek out the corruption. You told me to trust no one. You told me to find the information. I could be fucking wrong. But I'm doing exactly what you told me to do. What you told me to do. Fuck the Cobalt Soul. You're the first person who even ever fucking believed that I could make something of myself. I don't know who vouched for me over there, but I'm assuming it was you. I've always assumed it was you.

MATT: "I am proud of you. You are a fine Expositor, which you now are.

LAURA: (gasps)

MATT: "Because I say so. Now, I will not mention that you said, "'Fuck the Cobalt Soul.'"

MARISHA: Oh, don't tell anybody that. I meant it more on like principle.

MATT: "And I hope that your instincts are correct. Survive this, then the others will know what I know as well, of what you've done and what you are capable of."

MARISHA: (shakily) Okay. I hope I'm right, too. I hope we're right.

SAM: Do you know where we could start?

MATT: "Well, I imagine if you're looking for the Assembly and where most of its business is done, you would look for wherever any of the Academies are. The Candles in Rexxentrum, where many of them live. You can look for-- if you have the means of discovering where some of their personal laboratories are, perhaps there are answers there as well. But this is information even I've been seeking. Pry. Ask. Demand. Extract."

MARISHA: What are you going to do? You going to try and stay here?

MATT: "Honestly, I came here for a reason and I feel like I am getting close to some sort of answers."

LAURA: What reason did you come here for?

MATT: "While you go to try and discover what the Assembly is doing, I've had a long set hunch that there is someone or some people here that are involved with the Assembly. If I could find the right whispers and figure out who is this group, these individuals that are working against the Dynasty and the Empire on both sides, I could also bring it all down, yes?"

LAURA: I wonder if you should find out if anybody else went to visit the prisoner? Somebody let her out of her chains, right?

LIAM: Maybe.

LAURA: Whoever it was might be working--

MATT: "I could ask some questions. This is good information."

MARISHA: I don't know if you heard about that, but she filed it down to like a dagger, shank type thing. It was crazy.

TRAVIS: She also could have had it given to her.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: "If she was set to be executed and was bound in this way, there would have been no possibility of filing anything down. If she was indeed wielding something, it was most likely given to her."

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: "Well, I will look into this amongst other things while you pursue your goals to the west."

MARISHA: We've been scrying on some guy, we've just kept calling him Blondie.

LAURA: I'm going to disguise myself to look like him.

MATT: Do you do that?

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

SAM: You know this guy?

MATT: She gives it a look.

MARISHA: Oh, shit.

LIAM: He has access to the king.

SAM: Or someone important.

MATT: Gives you a tight look over. Seeing glimmers of recognition in spaces, turns your head from one side to the other.

LIAM: Monk shit.

MATT: Hold on just a second.

LIAM: Monk shit. Monk shit.

MARISHA: She knows who this guy is.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: "You look somewhat like Vence."

SAM: Vince.

MARISHA: Vince?

TALIESIN: Vince.

MARISHA: Fucking Vince.

LIAM: Goddamn D'Onofrio.

MATT: Vence, like V-E.

LAURA: Vence.

LIAM: I know what I heard.

MATT: "Vence Nuthaleus."

MARISHA: Nuthalees?

MATT: "Nuthaleus."

LAURA: Nuthaleus.

MATT: N-U-T-H-A-L-E-U-S.

LIAM: Vence Nuthaleus.

LAURA: I was really close to the way he spelled that.

MATT: "Why are you looking for this one?"

LAURA: Is he a shitty person?

MATT: "I don't know him personally. I've only seen him around a few times. He is the Annex to Ludinus."

MARISHA: The Annex to Ludinus, one of the lead guys?

LIAM: Yes, assistant to the main.

MARISHA: Oh, shit, oh.

SAM: Would Ludinus have been called "my liege?"

MATT: "No, 'my liege' would be used primarily for King Dwendal."

LAURA: Oh my gosh.

MARISHA: Well, we found a piece of Vence's robe along with the portal or one of the portals--

LAURA: He was helping to open the portals!

MARISHA: To the Abyss.

LAURA: The buttholes to the Abyss!

MARISHA: We did, we heard rumor that there were portals opening on both sides, right?

SAM: He could be working with someone on this-- he was working with someone on this side. We know that person, we chased them up to the north and they opened up The Laughing Hand.

MARISHA: I've said so many times I feel like this war is a giant distraction.

LAURA: Did you look up anything else about the Angel of Irons or something?

MATT: "I have not been able to go to any of the existing archives since I've been here. As you know--"

LAURA: It's probably important.

MATT: "I understand that, but I am not in a place to do research. Once I return maybe to one of the archives, but now I have no means of doing so."

SAM: Ludinus would be primarily stationed in Rexxentrum, correct?

MATT: "That is where his abode is, but he moves around a lot. He oversees much, both politically and within the business of the Assembly. He is one of the founders."

LIAM: He's very old.

MATT: "And quite capable."

LAURA: Yeah, he looked really scary when we saw him, right?

TALIESIN: Well, that makes things more difficult.

LIAM: I do have one idea.

SAM: Yes?

LIAM: Bouncing off of Dairon. I do know where the home of Trent Ikithon is, outside of Rexxentrum. Probably a death trap, but I know where it is.

TALIESIN: I don't know, that seems--

LIAM: He doesn't spent most of his time there.

TALIESIN: It's possibly a better idea than trying to extract information from a fortress or something like that. This seems more--

LIAM: We would be breaking into the private residence of one of the most dangerous men in the Dwendalian Empire.

LAURA: Yes, but does he have access to these badass paints?

MATT: You see, you watch as Dairon's head turns, slowly cocked to one side, then turns back to Beau.

MARISHA: They're magic paints.

MATT: "I was hoping."

LAURA: You should see the wonders they are capable of.

MATT: "I trust."

LAURA: I don't think Dairon thinks I'm cool.

MARISHA: Dairon doesn't think anyone's cool.

MATT: "It's true."

MARISHA: It's what happens when you're too cool for school.

SAM: How do we get to Rexxentrum?

LIAM: I enjoyed school.

TRAVIS: Would we take a Teleportation Circle?

SAM: We don't know how, we wouldn't know--

LAURA: We don't have one to Zadash.

LIAM: We don't have that.

MARISHA: Where's the nearest one we have to?

LAURA: We don't have one into the Empire.

LIAM: No. I'm not forgetting one, correct?

MATT: Into the Empire, no. You've only encountered them in Nicodranas, Uthodurn, Asarius, and Rosohna.

TALIESIN: Nicodranas could, might be a good--

LIAM: Essek could--

MARISHA: Dairon.

LIAM: -- teleport us.

MATT: "Yes?"

MARISHA: Does the Cobalt Soul have a Teleportation Circle hiding in it?

MATT: "There is one, yes."

LAURA: Do you know the symbol?

MATT: "No, it is not of my bailiwick, I'm sorry."

MARISHA: That's all right, we'll get that when we get back to Zadash.

SAM: How do we get to Zadash?

MARISHA: I wouldn't know it, would I?

MATT: No, no, no, you would not.

LAURA: We have to go to Nicodranas, I guess, and then cross over.

SAM: That's super far.

LAURA: Yeah, but that's the only safe way--

SAM: We could ask for Essek.

LIAM: Well, Essek could do it again. We could stack up the favors that he is owed.

SAM: I mean, we're doing this mission on his request.

TALIESIN: I don't know if he'd be willing to teleport us to the middle of the Empire.

LAURA: Into the Empire.

MARISHA: We're asking Essek to go into enemy territory.

LAURA: I don't think he's going to do it and honestly, he seemed a little bit peeved that we keep asking him to take us places. Like an older sibling or something.

SAM: You don't even want to ask? He can always just say no.

LIAM: He did say time was of the essence.

SAM: Yeah, and we can have him take us to a totally safe place that's near Rexxentrum.

LAURA: Do we know of a totally safe place near Rexxentrum?

SAM: We know Hupperdook. It's a few days away, but at least we can go--

LAURA: Oh, and we can see Kiri.

SAM: We could go somewhere safe.

LAURA: We could tel-- bamf right into the room where Kiri is staying.

SAM: Or Nogvurot, yeah, we've been there.

LIAM: Blumenthal.

SAM and LAURA: Hmm?

SAM: Blumenthal? Oh, this is a place close to Rexxentrum that you know. A safe place?

TALIESIN: Nothing's safe.

LIAM: I think so. Relatively. It's where I was raised.

LAURA: This is all, you know, fine and dandy that we're trying to figure out where to go, but none of it matters if he won't do it.

SAM: Well, we got to go ask him. Oh wait, he just left here, didn't he?

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: Well, call him back.

LAURA: I can't, I don't have any more Sending spells today.

SAM: Fucking shit balls.

TRAVIS: Where are we going, what are we doing?

SAM: We're going to sleep.

LAURA: Then, worst case scenario, we're bamfing to Nicodranas so we can cross into the Empire.

TRAVIS: Cool.

MARISHA: So we are checking in with Essek?

TALIESIN: I say we do that in the morning. Ask if he can bamf and if he can't, then we go--

LAURA: We do it ourselves.

MARISHA: Okay.

LAURA: We are capable.

MARISHA: We're trying to get to Rexxentrum so we can invade--

SAM: That's where all these people are.

LIAM: Yeah, we are just trying to guess, I mean, Dairon?

MATT: "They have homes in Rexxentrum, but they travel all over. I cannot guarantee they will be there."

SAM: For sure, but that's where, I mean--

MATT: "The Candles is not a disparate place. Are you familiar or have you been there?"

SAM: The what?

MATT: "The Candles."

LAURA: It's like the fancy district, I bet.

MATT: "Have you seen the symbol of the Assembly?"

TRAVIS: No.

SAM: Yes.

MATT: You saw it once, you saw it in--

TRAVIS: Yes, once.

MATT: The Invulnerable Vagrant on the wall.

LIAM: Oh right, because he is affiliated.

MATT: He's affiliated and had been doing work for the Assembly for awhile.

MARISHA: That's right.

MATT: You saw three diamond-like shapes that are pointed inward towards themselves and then underneath, there are eight spires that curl up around it. Dairon says, "This symbol represents the Candles. The Candles are eight towers that encircle the stronghold."

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: "Where the King sits. These homes, well they may or may not be under extreme watch. One of the most well-guarded and dangerous places to even attempt to break into or skulk around. Many thieves have tried and let's just say that the Assembly doesn't lose many favored antiquities."

SAM: Well, they lost one to us already.

MATT: "Mm."

LIAM: I have a DM question.

MATT: Yes?

LIAM: I'm trying to remember, I'm actually fuzzy on my backstory stuff. Was I-- was Caleb trained, were they sequestered in one of those towers or taken out of town?

MATT: You were taken out of town.

LIAM: Out of town which, and Caleb would know--

MATT: Yes.

LIAM: -- where that is.

MARISHA: Does the last name Jagentoth ring a bell?

MATT: "I am familiar with the Jagentoths, yes, from Shadycreek Run."

MARISHA: Could you think of any other criminal ring, including them that might have contacts with the Cerberus Assembly that would move items under secrecy?

MATT: "It's possible. There are still elements of The Myriad."

MARISHA: The Myriad.

MATT: "They were thought destroyed maybe, almost two decades ago, but they still permeate both the Menagerie Coast and the outskirts of the Empire."

MARISHA: Great.

MATT: "But those are largely just either rumors or individuals."

SAM: Let's go to sleep.

MARISHA: Okay.

SAM: Contact Essek, see if we can--

MARISHA: I'm kind of into this Zadash idea, speaking as Marisha for a second.

SAM: But speaking as Nott the Brave, why?

MARISHA: Zadash, we can check in with-- Cobalt Reserve is there. We can check in with The Gentleman.

TALIESIN: We do have a better support structure there.

MARISHA: Going straight to Mordor doesn't seem right.

TALIESIN: Seems a little-- seems like eight people running at a fully armed castle with eight towers.

MARISHA: Naruto running at it.

TALIESIN: Yeah. This feels like a Naruto move.

LAURA: If it's like super duper, super, super duper guarded--

LIAM: To weigh, I think that's right, I think, speaking, going out of character, what Zadash has got going on is that network. What I'm talking about outside of Rexxentrum is like a home out in the countryside.

TALIESIN: Okay, like a country--

LIAM: Away from the city.

TALIESIN: If it's not in the city, then that's a whole 'nother--

LIAM: It's not, it's Trent--

MARISHA: But then what?

LAURA: Yeah, but we still don't have allies--

MARISHA: There.

LAURA: Powerful allies.

LIAM: No, but--

TALIESIN: We could find something.

LIAM: He could presumably have records or something.

MARISHA: But we still are breaking into one of Trent's, you're pitching breaking into his vacation home as opposed to his fortress?

LIAM: It's not a vacation home, it is where, I'm slipping back into character now. It is where I was made.

LAURA: Oh.

TALIESIN: The school.

LIAM: No, the school is in Rexxentrum, but--

LAURA: Is it like a secret place?

LIAM: Ikithon took us away out of town for several days a week, every week.

MARISHA: Camping trip?

LAURA: Creepy camping trip.

TALIESIN: It would possibly be something that wouldn't have a lot of connection to the city if he didn't want to be disturbed.

LIAM: It was his own personal playpen, yeah.

LAURA: Ew, I don't like him at all. He's so gross!

TALIESIN: I am now slightly more in favor of this plan.

MARISHA: I don't know what we're going to find.

TRAVIS: Well, there's only one way to find out.

TALIESIN: That's fair.

TRAVIS: Let's pick a spot and go.

LAURA: Well, we have to fucking ask Essek first.

SAM: Let's go to sleep.

MATT: "Make sure you have all the information before you end up making any big choices."

SAM: Of course.

MATT: "Just be careful."

SAM: Careful planners.

LAURA: I do have a 4th-level Sending left, I mean, a 4th-level spell slot. So I guess I could use a 4th-level spell.

SAM: Yes!

TALIESIN: Then you'll sleep anyway.

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay, I'm going to send another message to fucking Essek.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Sorry to bother you again. Would you be able to provide transport into a place within the Empire? Is that something you're willing and able?

MATT: You hear a (yawning).

LAURA: He was sleeping, I think he was sleeping.

MATT: "Respectfully, you have a capable arcanist in your midst. I have already shuttled you to places far away."

LAURA: I knew he was going to say that.

MATT: "You should not have a problem returning to where you came from, right?"

SAM: Well...

TALIESIN: Well, that's the end of your spell session.

LAURA: No, I've got two more 4th-level. I'm going to send a message back. For the record, that's totally how I was feeling about it, too. I was just double-checking, you know? Because we needed to check because, that's it.

MATT: That was all filler words.

LAURA: Yes, the whole Sending message was just--

MATT: "I wish you luck. Let me know should you discover where this beacon may be."

LAURA: Okay, I'm going to send him another message back. Yes.

(laughter)

We definitely will do that, Essek. Also, I hope you have a really good night's sleep and thank you for everything today, the chair was really cool. Sweet dreams. That's it.

MATT: The response comes through, "Hah."

TRAVIS: That's it?

MATT: That's it. That's it.

SAM: Caleb, can't you get us into the Empire?

LIAM: No, I mean, let's go to bed. Perhaps they have records here of different, no, they wouldn't, why would they have records--

LAURA: No. We just have to go to Nicodranas and we have to fucking travel up, that's the only way to do it. (shrilly) We have to go to Nicodranas, we have to travel up. That's the way it is, okay? Let's go to sleep.

TALIESIN: Who can argue with that? We're not going to find a cheat code to where we need to get. Yeah, there's no cheat code to get there. I'm fine with Nicodranas, I got no problem with Nicodranas.

SAM: It's going to take forever.

LAURA: We don't have a cheat code, Nott.

SAM: That's thousands of miles away.

TALIESIN: What's your thought, then?

SAM: I feel like we're closer here than Nicodranas.

LAURA: Yeah, but we have to cross through battle territory. We can't do that.

MARISHA: This border is contested. That one, not as much.

LIAM: War zone.

MARISHA: Unless we go back to Uthodurn. Is Uthodurn closer?

MATT: If you'll look at your maps, you can see which is closer, Rosohna or Nicodranas.

LAURA: Okay, let's do that.

MATT: Mister map keeper.

SAM: Which is closer, map man?

TRAVIS: Rosohna is closer.

LAURA: Wait, what about Uthodurn?

TRAVIS: That's further.

SAM: Yeah, what about Uthodurn?

LAURA: Obviously, Rosohna's closer.

TRAVIS: Nicodranas is the farthest one.

MARISHA: Uthodurn, we don't have to cross enemy territory and Nicodranas, we don't have to--

TRAVIS: Sorry, there are four maps, give me a minute.

TALIESIN: The northern border is also less of a problem, if I recall.

MARISHA: That's what I'm saying. Uthodurn, we just drop down. Nicodranas, we go up.

TRAVIS: This is Rosohna.

TALIESIN: This is what one week away does to us.

TRAVIS: This is Uthodurn.

TALIESIN: All right.

SAM: Oh, boy.

LAURA: You guys, this is a big world, okay?

SAM: Matt, can you make your next world smaller?

MATT: No.

LAURA: Nah.

MATT: So that goes there.

LAURA: Ooh, this is cool, though. I'm actually excited about this happening right now.

MATT: Then this here. So, Nicodranas. There you go, Nicodranas is there and this is the Empire's space. This is Rosohna.

LAURA: It's about equidistant to get up to Rexxentrum.

LIAM: From Nicodranas, this is smaller than this really though glued to here, isn't it?

MATT: A little bit.

LAURA: Then where's Uthodurn?

MATT: Uthodurn is up here.

SAM: They're all the same fucking distance.

MATT: They're actually all a pretty similar distance.

LIAM: Fuck you, Rexxentrum, you're right in the middle.

MATT: I don't know how that worked out, but it did. Look at that. All righty.

LIAM: I agree with Jester, we should go to Nicodranas and just get it over with.

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: If we go through Nicodranas, we can stop in Zadash on the way.

LAURA: Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun!

TALIESIN: We can also set up the trip to Traveler Con.

LAURA: This is true.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

SAM: We sleep.

MATT: All right.

SAM: We wake.

LIAM: Caleb spends two hours working on the higher level dunamancy spell before bed.

MATT: You got it, get that inscribed into your book.

LIAM: It takes some time, but two hours.

MATT: As you're going to sleep--

LAURA: Mm!

MATT: You curl up in bed and you feel something shift at the foot of the bed and you look over and you see sitting at the edge of the bed, a familiar green cloak.

LAURA: I sit up.

MATT: He turns back towards you. "So what do you think, Kravaraad or Rumblecusp?"

LAURA: Well--

MATT: "I know you said your preference may have been with the new volcano, but you seemed less intrigued the last time we spoke."

LAURA: Yeah, I don't know. I thought it was going to be cooler than it was. I mean, don't get me wrong, it was really cool, but it kind of felt like the Wildmother's territory, if that makes any sense. And, like, why would we want to go somewhere that's already been stamped upon by somebody else? Why can we go and claim something as our own, you know? Plus it's, you know, it's barren there and we haven't been to anywhere tropical in awhile.

MATT: "So tropical?"

LAURA: Is the other place tropical? I am assuming.

MATT: "It's fairly tropical, as an island. Let's do that."

LAURA: What is it like, what should we do? What are we going to do there?

MATT: "Well, we'll figure this out as we get closer to the dates. What kind of things should we prepare?"

LAURA: I already told everyone that I would make them Traveler cloaks so that they could all look really fancy when they're worshiping you.

MATT: "I'm sure they'd appreciate that."

LAURA: Do you want me to make like lots of idols to you or do I need to get word out to the rest of your followers? Do they already know?

MATT: "They've all been notified."

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: "Any trinket you wish to bring along, of course."

LAURA: I'll make sure there's some good stuff.

MATT: "Your friends are coming, yes?"

LAURA: That's the plan, is that okay?

MATT: "Yeah."

LAURA: They're not in any danger, right?

MATT: "No."

LAURA: Okay. I don't know why I was asking that. I just guessed like, you know, you think volcano, you think somebody's going to be sacrificed or something and that seems weird.

MATT: "That's definitely not my--"

LAURA: Right?

MATT: "-- realm of preference or expertise. I'm looking forward to this."

LAURA: Me too. I miss hanging out with you.

MATT: "I'm never that far."

LAURA: Well, I know, but I know. It's weird that nobody else can see you.

MATT: "Faith's a funny thing."

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "But if you ever get lonely, just call. Call my name."

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: "And know that if I'm not there, I'm thinking of you."

LAURA: All right, you don't know anything about this weird beacon thing we're going to look for, do you? It's got everybody up in arms.

(laughter)

MATT: "It's certainly intriguing, that's for sure. I'm as curious as you are."

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "Maybe not so much to be up in arms, but I'm certainly curious."

LAURA: It does some cool things. Dunamancy's crazy. Did you see that guy get squished? I mean I guess she was a girl, but...

MATT: "Well, I'll continue with my preparation."

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: "It's getting close."

LAURA: I know, we're so close, I'm like so excited.

MATT: "Me too, very much so. I'm excited for you to meet the rest of your brethren."

LAURA: Me too.

MATT: "Thank you, Jester."

LAURA: Thank you.

MATT: "Sleep well." He runs the hand over the side of your head.

LAURA: Good night.

MATT: You turn around and nestle into your pillow and look back and he's gone.

LIAM: I just envisioned Santa Con.

MATT: Apparently, it's part of the plan here. Oh, wow. All right, the next morning comes to you. The familiar darkened mornings of Rosohna. You come to consciousness, eat your breakfast and have your day's plans about you. What would you like to do?

LAURA: Caleb.

LIAM: Yeah?

LAURA: Are you ready?

LIAM: Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry.

MATT: Is there anything you'd like to do before you leave?

SAM: You want to just scry on that Vence guy one more time?

LAURA: I can try. Sure, I'll try to scry on him one more time. Although if he's as up high as he is, I'm surprised I got any scrys in at all. All right, Traveler, here we go again.

LIAM: I start drawing while she does this.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: What was that, what does that mean? Is that a good Matt or a bad roll?

TALIESIN: I can't tell if that's a good Matt smile or a bad Matt smile.

LIAM: Everybody's going to die.

MATT: The Traveler sits across from you with your hands in his, facing the hood, obscuring everything but the jaw and the smile and the head cocks to one side and goes, "Not this one."

LAURA: I figured.

MATT: It was a natural 20.

LAURA: Worth a shot.

MARISHA: Dairon. You need anything else before we go? You need some sort of like written note?

MATT: "No, I think I am doing okay getting around by my preferred means. Quietly. Besides, should I need a note, I can always forge it. You all have very interesting handwriting, by the way."

LAURA: Don't be creepy, Dairon.

TALIESIN: It's a trick question. I don't have handwriting.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: "It was."

LIAM: The collection of Xhorhasian cat figurines that are in my room, I remember exactly how they are laid out and I don't like them changed around and I will know if they have been. So will you please leave them be?

MATT: "I will guarantee you they will most likely be somewhat close to their original position."

TALIESIN: You collect porcelain cats?

LIAM: Hummel figurines.

TALIESIN: That was Taliesin talking, not, wait, what? Okay, this changes everything, thank you, back, okay.

LAURA: I've left a secret for you in my room. I hope you find it.

LIAM: It's a pooper.

MARISHA: Dairon, can I talk to you in private for a second?

MATT: "Certainly." As Dairon follows you--

MARISHA: I'm not going to show you to a pooper, I swear.

MATT: As soon as Dairon walks with you out of the room, Dairon looks back at Jester with like a...

MARISHA: Are we behind closed doors?

MATT: If you want to, yeah.

MARISHA: I peek open the door. Are any of these fuckers listening?

SAM and MATT: Nope.

MARISHA: Okay. If you fucking tell anyone I did this, I'll beat your fucking ass, okay?

MATT: "Okay."

MARISHA: I'm going against all better judgment in my head that I should do this. You use this for emergency situations only. Only and if you need to, I know you know how to look like some other one of us, which might buy a little bit more validity to all of it.

TRAVIS: What?

MARISHA: But you had better not fucking use it. And I pull out the symbol of the Bright Queen that I have.

LAURA: No.

MARISHA: And hand it over to her.

LAURA: Oh my god!

LIAM: Sick. I'm fully in support of it.

MARISHA: I want it back. It's a fucking lender.

TRAVIS: It's not a fucking beer cozy.

TALIESIN: This is like some Dude, Where's My Car? shit.

MATT: You see a smile crawl across Dairon's face.

MARISHA: You know how to look like Fjord. People like him, he's charming but don't fucking abuse that shit, okay? Realistically, just don't use it. I don't know, they might have some sort of like registry noting all people that has those and you're not one of them, so, like, don't use it, but you have it.

MATT: "Any other lessons you wish to impart upon me, teacher?"

MARISHA: I just felt like I had to be stern in that point.

MATT: "It's appreciated. I will take much care, and thank you. I think this will definitely aid me in my endeavors."

MARISHA: Just tell them we like made out or something, okay? And then I leave.

MATT: As you go to leave, she grabs your arm and goes "Beauregard, don't die."

MARISHA: You tell me that every time, and I haven't forgotten.

MATT: "So far, so good, so I'll keep telling you that," and releases you.

SAM: All right, ready for the trip?

TALIESIN: Shagging your way through this game.

LIAM: (swooshing)

SAM: Let's go!

MARISHA: Women can do it do.

LIAM: Are we ready?

SAM: Yes, we're ready.

MATT: All right, you craft the Circle, all of you leap in. The familiar scents of being pulled through this strange arcane tether, through a dark space and then you all gather your feet under the stone floor within Yussa's tower in Nicodranas.

LIAM: Oh, we didn't message him in advance again.

LAURA: I'll send him a message.

LIAM: Do it right now.

LAURA: I'm going to send him a message. Hey, we're going to be at your house here. Real soon we're going to pop in, okay? We're just letting you know in advance before we get there.

SAM: This message might take a while.

LAURA: This message could take a while to get to you because we're--

TALIESIN: Beep.

LAURA: Running.

(laughter)

MATT: All righty.

TALIESIN: It's so good.

MARISHA: I hate it when the service doesn't send the message.

TALIESIN: Oh man, it was just like caught in a--

MARISHA: Just caught in a--

TALIESIN: In a thing.

MARISHA: In a loop.

TRAVIS: But it says four bars! Why?

MATT: "I do appreciate your brief heads up. I will send Wensforth for you. Please be patient, I am busy." A few moments pass and the door opens and you see the familiar face of the older goblin with his belly poking across his well-tailored pants. Kind of putting the glasses up.

LAURA: Right when he comes to the door, I jump and land like we had just got there.

SAM: Oh, we just got here. Crazy timing.

MATT: "Right, of course. Do you require a meeting with the master or are you just passing through?"

LIAM and LAURA: Just passing through.

SAM: He told us that he was here, though, on the premises though, is that right?

LAURA: He said he's busy though, he's busy.

MATT: "Certainly yes, he is."

TALIESIN: I mean do we want to ask about the beacon?

MARISHA: We could go check in while we're here.

TALIESIN: At some point, we could check in.

LAURA: He says he's busy, it could take a while.

LIAM: We would have to come back. He doesn't want to speak now. Maybe we could go--

MATT: You did very much just jump right in the middle of his day.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: We could be here for--

SAM: We'll come back.

TALIESIN: A day while we figure things out, yeah.

MATT: Which actually, all right. Wensforth leads you downstairs and out of the tower through the familiar exit. It is still night in Nicodranas.

LAURA and SAM: Ooh.

TALIESIN: Nice.

LIAM: What time is it?

LAURA: Are we still possibly in trouble here? I don't remember.

SAM: It's like 4:00 in the morning or 5:00 in the morning.

LAURA: Okay, okay, so we're fine.

MATT: You gather the time right now in Nicodranas, and I'm ballparking here based on early morning leaving there, it's probably somewhere in the neighborhood of, I'd say, 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning.

LIAM: Almost the middle of the night, but not quite.

MATT: Actually no, depending on what time in the morning you guys left. I'd say you left a little later in the morning. So I'd say you're about to hit dawn.

TALIESIN: Perfect.

SAM: Well, what do we do now?

LIAM: There's not much we can do except maybe go to your mother's. What are we going to do before the sun is up?

TALIESIN: Check in with mom, get the, start getting the shit together.

LAURA: See your fam.

SAM: I'm all for that.

MARISHA: Check in with Orly.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LIAM: Family, family, Orly, Yussa, arrange for travel.

LAURA: Oh man, do we have any gem dust yet?

MARISHA: We have gems, right?

LAURA and MARISHA: We can crush it.

TALIESIN: Crush gems.

MARISHA: I have a jeweler's kit.

MATT: So you would probably be able to crush gems pretty well.

LAURA: We have 2500 gold worth of gems.

MARISHA: 2500 gold's worth of gems?

TRAVIS: The gems are better served for other--

TALIESIN: I mean, yeah, everything--

LAURA: Is it? Do you know what he can do with it? It's really fucking cool. I was saving up my money, but I just--

MATT: Where can we go to get horses and carts and things?

LAURA: Oh well, the horses are carts are over here. I know, he's awake!

MATT: There's plenty of, there's places you know. There are liveries and all kinds of other places to pick up beasts of burden, to pick up riding horses, to pick up anything in that regard and you've made the journey to and from Nicodranas and from the Empire many times, so you can, you know the faster routes and the elements there.

SAM: Okay.

MARISHA: Let's go check in with mom.

LIAM: Yeah, we'll kill a couple hours 'til the sun comes up. Mom works later, right?

LAURA: Yeah, she's awake. She's for sure awake right now.

MARISHA: As we're walking to the Lavish Chateau, I keep an eye out for any owls.

MATT: Okay, make a perception check for me, please.

LIAM: Come on. Nope, you are rolling shit tonight.

MARISHA: Five total.

TRAVIS: What the fuck?

MARISHA: I know.

MATT: Definitely no owl.

SAM: (pigeon cooing)

MARISHA: Oh, a pigeon. Gah.

TALIESIN: Boo.

MATT: Where are you going, you heading to Lavish Chateau?

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: All right.

SAM: We've got a few hours.

MATT: You guys make your way towards the Lavish Chateau in the familiar landscape of the Opal Archways. At this point, the sun is rising. You can see to the horizon, the colors change in the sky. There are some white clouds dappled throughout above, but it's nice to see the ocean once more. The familiar smell of sea brine and nearby shore are very welcoming to you, Fjord, as well as to you, Jester, having grown up in this space. The Chateau front door is closed at this hour. They do not usually take people in without, but you know the tricks to opening the door without a key.

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: As you let your way in, you can immediately heard Bluud begin to like (stomping) down the steps, hearing the front door open. Looks like he has a hand crossbow at the ready as this large minotaur form pokes down.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're back.

MATT: "An unexpected arrival, a bit early."

LAURA: Or a bit late depending on where you're coming from.

MATT: "Valid point."

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "Good to see you. Your mother is sleeping."

LAURA: Yeah, that's okay, can we just get into some rooms so we can chill?

MATT: "Yeah, sure, give me a minute," and he walks over and lumbers behind the main bar area off to the left side of the interior main chamber and goes through a couple of keys which are very small in his large hands and you can see him just like (grunting).

LAURA: He's a minotaur.

MARISHA: Is he paying attention to the bar? SAM: Not my type.

MATT: At the very moment, no.

MARISHA: I'm going to swipe a bottle, take a few swigs, put it back.

MATT: Okay, make a sleight of hand check.

LAURA: You know you don't have to do that.

TRAVIS: You're rolling so well tonight.

MARISHA: I've been rolling so great.

(laughs) (clapping)

Natural 20. On a joke.

MARISHA: Rapid speed that is impressive to anybody who would have mentioned you. Which, at a natural 20 plus-- what's your--

MARISHA: 25 total.

MATT: 25. None of you notice. Not even you, Caduceus.

TALIESIN: Cocktails.

MARISHA: Shit.

LIAM: Just take the bottle.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: As Bluud gets up, the bottle like (rattling). He goes like "Careful. I found your key, let me show you to your room."

LAURA: Thank you.

MATT: Leads you guys up the opposite end of the top stairway where there's another hallway that leads down to where the other chambers are. This room you've already stayed in before. He apologizes, "There was only one available room. So you'll have to cram up."

LAURA: We've done it before, it's okay.

MATT: He gives you the key.

TALIESIN: Not going to be super long.

MATT: "I'll let your mother know when she wakes up that you've arrived."

LAURA: Thanks, Bluud. Looking good.

MATT: "Hey." Closes the door.

SAM: All right, so, what are we doing?

TALIESIN: We're arranging some horses. We're letting Orly know that we're going to be heading out at some point in the near future.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: We are literally having a bit of a stop for pleasure here so that Jester can see her mother. Sure.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Do we feel like we need to talk to Yussa or do we want to skip that?

TALIESIN: I wouldn't say no to talking to anybody at this point. I don't feel like we know enough of anything.

LAURA: Should I try scrying on someone else?

SAM: Good gravy.

LAURA: I could try Yasha.

TALIESIN: I'd like that.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

SAM: Sure, yeah.

MARISHA: Get some confirmation.

LAURA: Okay. I'm going to just sit down in the middle of the room. Everybody get back, I'm working on this important spell. I'm going to draw on the ground, I'm going to make some arcane rune-ish looking things like Caleb draws.

TRAVIS: Like a fork.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: It's beautiful, in a weird way from a distance, it looks like an actual arcane sigil. The closer you get, you can see where glyphs and runes would normally be. It looks like a continuous series of paintings of people folded in nude ways. It's almost like the--

LAURA: Kama Sutra.

MATT: The Mad Magazine, you know.

TRAVIS: Yeah, the fold-in.

MATT: Long miniature margin comics. It's kind of interesting. So you're starting to scry on Yasha. What's your spell DC?

LAURA: 17.

MATT: 17, okay. As you sit and focus, you feel the wind blow in from your window. The smell of the sea air calms you and the Traveler once more leans in across the other shoulder this time and goes, "I think we've found someone this time."

LAURA: Finally.

MATT: As you close your eyes, you feel your vision pulled forward through clouds and sky. (whooshing) To a flash of a metropolitan area. Just an instance, you see buildings, you see streets. There's another flash.

LAURA: Did I recognize the city, did it look familiar?

MATT: Make a perception check.

LAURA: Oh, nah, it didn't do it. 19.

MATT: 19. In the quick glance that you see there, the perimeter of it, at the periphery, though it is just a quick flash, there's something triangular to its shape.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Now, you're pulled through into a low lit hall of light marble pillars. Rows and rows of books and scrolls. Splashes of blood. Cold bodies swathed in gray and blue sprawled across the stone floor. Yasha walks. Step, step, the Magician's Judge at her side, crimson spray across the front of her face and shoulders. Make another perception check.

LAURA: Fuck. I am going to just hold my hands really tight for Guidance. Can I do that, am I allowed to do that?

MATT: Not in the middle of it.

LAURA: Okay, I know. Nine.

MATT: Nine, okay. You follow her stepping forward down the staircase. A person rushes by and her arms (swooshing) and the person crumbles out of view. Walking up to a door that is broken, Yasha stops and there at the cusp of the blurred vision of the sensor of the scry, you see a man of dark hair, smooth complexion wearing the similar gray-blue robes as the other figures around. A familiar voice comes through that says, as he's looking through a book amongst a pile of books on the ground, "Vence fails to pull his weight. The Angel will see my deeds superior." You recognize the voice as Obann's. Pulling back a bit, you can see Yasha's wings are unfurled, black, dark. Strands of tethered shadow holding them. You hear a distant scream that is silenced followed by a faint discordant echo of laughter. Many voices laughing together, blending and bending. The reading human's eyes go wide as he smiles. "Jourrael's remains were bisected. The heart buried within the Lotusden and the skull entrusted to the elves within the Veluthil." (chuckles) "It seems we have some questions to ask, my dear Orphan Maker. Come, Hand." You feel the presence and the footsteps (stomping) of the Laughing Hand pushing behind Yasha. The slight, light chuckles. (raspy cackling) "Let us find you a new friend." Obann reaches out and grabs the blade of the Hand and extents the other hand towards Yasha. Yasha, you can see the blood streaks across her face pierced by the tears that run down, reach out and grab his other hand. All three vanish and the scrying connection is lost.

LAURA: I tell them everything.

MARISHA: That was the demon.

SAM: What was all that?

LIAM: Jourrael's heart bisected?

MATT: Jourrael's remained were bisected. The heart buried within the Lotusden.

LIAM: Heart buried, Lotusden.

MATT: The skull entrusted to the elves within the Veluthil.

MARISHA: Vel- thil.

MATT: Veluthil.

MARISHA: Veluthil. Remains were bisected. And you said library--

LAURA: Was that the Cobalt Reserve?

MARISHA: Is it the Cobalt Reserve?

MATT: The Cobalt Reserve technically is in Tal'Dorei.

MARISHA: The Cobalt Soul in Zadash and--

MATT: Have you visited the Archive in Zadash?

LAURA: No, but I've seen the outside of it.

MARISHA: What about the--

MATT: You didn't get a full view of the city. You're not sure what the interior was.

LAURA: But I recognized a triangle.

MATT: Yes, you recognized the triangle shape of a city.

LAURA: In the city or the city--

SAM: Triangle, the city was shaped--

MATT: The city had a triangular shape to its outside, like wall perimeter.

MARISHA: Was that Zadash?

MATT: Zadash is pretty triangular.

LAURA: Oh my gosh. They're in Zadash right now.

MARISHA: That sounds a lot like the Cobalt.

LAURA: They were in Zadash, they just left. They killed so many people.

SAM: What were they looking for?

MARISHA: If they were at the Soul, they were looking for information, we have restricted books that hide secrets and information that should be kept from people just like Obann.

LAURA: He got it.

SAM: Who's Jourrael?

MARISHA: Have we heard, it feels like we've heard of that.

LIAM: History-wise?

MATT: Make a history check, both of, anybody who's trained in history, is proficient in history, go ahead and roll.

MARISHA: Yeah, it does.

LIAM: 17.

TRAVIS: Angel.

TALIESIN: I'm going to bless, I'm going to use a--

MARISHA: 20.

TALIESIN: You can add a d4 because, if I--

MARISHA: Plus?

TALIESIN: I was going to use a Guidance.

MATT: Oh, a guidance to--

TALIESIN: Yeah, if you're doing-- Can I do it after the roll or no?

MATT: I'll allow it.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: But normally you have to do that before the roll.

MARISHA: 21.

MATT: Okay. It doesn't ring a bell. This is something beyond the knowledge that you've learned. This would be something you'd need to research deeper.

LIAM: And Veluthil.

MATT: Veluthil.

LIAM: Same for history?

MARISHA: Is it on any of our maps?

LIAM: Elves in--

MATT: I'd say make another history check for that particular one.

MARISHA: Can I do that too?

MATT: Sure, both of you guys.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to give you a pat on the back.

TRAVIS: I think that's an old name for some place.

MARISHA: It's not good for me.

LIAM: 16 plus--

TRAVIS: Places change names.

MATT: Well, no.

LIAM: Are you both helping me?

LAURA: No, no. Only one at a time, he was helping.

LIAM: 17 again.

MATT: 17.

MARISHA: 15.

MATT: Once again, it doesn't quite ring a bell.

TALIESIN: Would a religion check make sense in any of this?

MATT: No. Well, I'll allow a religion check for you.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

MATT: For Jourrael.

TALIESIN: Eight.

LIAM: Shit.

MATT: Unfortunately, your experience learning and teaching did not contain any of the information that you seek in these brief statements that Jester managed to pull from the scry.

TALIESIN: Now we have a good excuse to take a meeting before we leave.

LAURA: Yasha was crying.

LIAM: And you're tapped, can you scry again?

MARISHA: You said there was blood all over the place.

LAURA: There were dead bodies all over the place.

LIAM: Well, we do not know where she has gone. There is nothing we can do about it right now. We continue as planned. See your mother, arrange travel, head into the Empire.

LAURA: Quickly.

MARISHA: Quickly.

TALIESIN: Horses, no carts.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: And that is where we'll pick up for our next session.

SAM: So frustrating.

LIAM: Super frustrating episode.

MATT: Sorry.

TALIESIN: You got used to teleporting.

LIAM: We had a really like defined goal for multiple chapters here and now we're just figuring out where to go next.

TALIESIN: And then two weeks gone.

MATT: There's a lot of things happening at once.

LAURA: Within the world, yeah.

LIAM: Let's run away from it all and do Traveler Con.

TALIESIN: There's an island. Traveler Con.

LIAM: Just Traveler Con.

MATT: Traveler Con will be there in seven weeks. You got time to handle some other things in the interim.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I want to find my menagerie soon. I can wait, but--

MATT: It's something you have to research as well.

LIAM: The menagerie in Traveler Con.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LIAM: A fucking rave.

MATT: Just fold it all.

TALIESIN: It'll be like the prisoner hotel. Be seeing you.

TRAVIS: Yasha, too.

LAURA: There's so many fucking things.

MARISHA: Yeah, it really sucks. You have to have authority figures to rebel against or else who am I?

TALIESIN: Yeah, it's like having hippie parents; it's so hard.

TRAVIS: And you just got a promotion.

LAURA: You're rebelling against yourself now.

LIAM: That's right.

TALIESIN: You're The Man now.

MARISHA: That's not what I meant when I said, "I hate you, mom," that's not what I meant.

TALIESIN: I am become mom, destroyer of worlds.

LAURA: I am become mom.

LIAM: Just rounding the corner.

TALIESIN: That was both frustrating and amazing at the same time. I'm so excited.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Well, the fly is dead, long live the fly.

MATT: The fly is dead, long live the fly.

TALIESIN: The brain is back.

TRAVIS: Two kills.

MARISHA: Two kills. LIAM: Pop.

MATT: All right. LAURA: Oh my gosh.

TRAVIS: He died because we were having so much fun.

MATT: There will unfortunately not be a game next week because I'll be flying to Sweden.

LAURA: Oh, shit.

TALIESIN: Oh my god.

MATT: That'll give you guys two weeks to figure out what you want to do and where you want to go--

TALIESIN: Are we going to do a crazy text thread like we used to?

LAURA: Yes.

TALIESIN: We should do a crazy, crazy, no-Matt text thread.

MATT: That's exactly what you should do.

MARISHA: (chanting) Level 10.

ALL: (chanting) Level 10.

TALIESIN: Yeah, no one's even seen you use your crazy sword yet.

LAURA: Soon.

TALIESIN: Thing has a card so long that it's practically a soliloquy.

LIAM: Should we do something dumb next week?

LAURA: No.

LIAM: No?

TALIESIN: Define dumb.

SAM: What do you mean?

LIAM: Traveler Con.

(laughter)

MATT: Perfect.

TALIESIN: Oh, man.

MATT: All right, well thank you guys so much. We missed you and we'll miss you next week. We'll be back then and probably consistently for a while after that. In the interim, we love you very much and--

LAURA: So much.

MATT: Is it Thursday yet? Good night, guys.

LIAM and MARISHA: No.

(dramatic music)