Grog's One-Shot

is the seventeenth one-shot episode of Critical Role. Grog plays a game of 'Bunions and Flagons' with Percy, Scanlan, Vax, and Vex.

Announcements

 * All BM mistakes are the fault of Grog, announces Travis.
 * Team up with Thor for prizes in Marvel PuzzleQuest! Download for free on Apple Store, Google Play, Amazon, or Steam. Sam imitates Grog as he reads the ad copy that Pike Trickfoot transcribed from Grog.
 * Merch Alert! Vox Machina dice from the previous week and a scarf with "How do you want to do this?" emblazoned on it.
 * Matthew and Marisha will attend Pax Unplugged in Philidelphia. Festival begins on Friday, November 17, 2017. Travis and Laura will attend Australian festival Supanova during that time. Some will attend BlizzCon. As such, Gather Your Party will be replaced by Tales from the Loop.
 * Next week, Marisha will DM a game of Honey Heist, where all characters are bears.
 * Join the cast after the finale at the regular Thursday time in the upcoming "Critical Role: Vox Machina wrap up," a Talks Machina episode that will touch on the entire campaign.
 * Laura joined the cast of The Last of Us Part II.

Part I
Grog assembles confused friends Vex, Vax, Scanlan, and Percy around a B&F table located in Scanlan's Magnificent Mansion and describes what the game is.

The session begins in a nearly deserted tavern in the wee hours of the morning. Pike has too much to drink and vomits over everything and everyone, enraging a patron enough that a a few jabs before dissapating. Grog pays for a room and chucks Pike in it. The party fetches a second round from the cellar and pig stye at the barkeep's request. During the resumed festivities, all five become woozy and fall through the floor.

They awake in a dim cavern that definitely doesn't resemble genetalia. The five and Trinket travel down a corrider and pass through a poison arrow trap. Scanlan is hit three times, including in the rear, and Vax sucks out the poison from it. Once crossed, a spectral form rushes them from behind. Succeeding in the skermish, the party enters the next room, which certainly doesn't resemble a secondary sex characteristic.

Break

 * Marvel PuzzleQuest: team up with Thor and compete for prizes in lightning-rounds.
 * Game Engine: Blizzard Some-Access Tour! Brandy Camel, the Associate Community Manager of Diablo, and company tour what's new in Diablo with us.
 * Learn how to play Mountains of Madness, a Lovecraftian board game, from IELLOW Games with host Becca Scott.

Vox Machina

 * Keyleth (absent; mentioned only)
 * Percival de Rolo
 * Scanlan Shorthalt
 * Grog Strongjaw (DM-controlled)
 * Pike Trickfoot (DM-controlled)
 * Trinket
 * Vax'ildan
 * Vex'ahlia

New

 * Bobaline, barkeep of the unnamed tavern
 * Timothy, son of Bobaline

Quotations
(Laura, Liam, Sam, and Taliesin burst into laughter) Taliesin: Too real Liam: Dimensional distortion there for a second Vex: Okay...erm, a 31 Grog: You don't see anything, unfortunately. It's just unforuntate. (Sam, Liam, and Taliesin roar with laughter. Laura is not amused) Vex: Grog, Grog! 31 is higher than 15! 31's really high. It's high! Grog: (Pause) Right, so you see, uh, her geneology going back like, uh, four generations. You see... Vex: Do you even know what geneology is? Grog: Yeah, it's like, you know, a blue denim. Vex: Wow, this game's so smart. Vax: You made that, you just made that up. Grog: No, that's how this goes, I promise. Vax: Where did you learn this game? Grog: I was in a tavern and this long-haired guy was just playing a game at a table and I thought it was fuckin' great. I watched for a while, like hours. I was hooked. I might go back next week and watch. Grog: No, no, they're not points. They're XP. Scanlan: What does that stand for Grog? Grog: Xylophone Players (Sam bursts into laughter) Percy: 300 Xylophone Players. My God, you could retire on that. In fact, you can retire quite well on that. Grog: (doing a Trinket impression) Well, I had the worst stomachache. Oh, I don't know...I ate that meatball from Scanlan and then I fuckin' died... (The cast laughs) ...I don't want to make any assumptions, but... (The cast and crew of Critical Role burst out laughing)
 * Travis: (Takes long drink from flagon) Ahh! We're fucking doing this.
 * Grog: Hey, hey. Look, I know we've got a night to ourselves. I was wondering if maybe we could all like play a game I heard about...right, so I was in the tavern the other day, right? And I heard about this game, uh, I think it's called: 'Bunions and Flagons', right? And you all are going to play little, itty-bitty, versions of yourselves. And all you have to do is use your imaginations. I'm going to tell you a story and then, like, you contribute, tell me what you want to do, and I'll draw out little maps and we'll go on an adventure.
 * Grog: Pike gets up and she's like...(drunken slurring) you guys, I---I love being...your friends
 * Grog: Make a perception check
 * Grog: In this game, if you notice something, call it out to each other. Because what one person sees, the other...some of you might not see. And just cause you know it at the table, doesn't mean you know it in your minds.
 * Vax: But, you said that there were no points, and you got points?
 * Vex: Trinket what happened?!

Trivia

 * The idea for Grog to run a one-shot seemed to be invented on the spot in, ten months earlier.
 * The half-orc and tiefling couple with a baby that the party meets early in their adventure is an early reference to Fjord and Jester, and to Travis and Laura's then-unborn baby. Laura's pregnancy wasn't publicly announced until a few months later.