Bar Room Blitz

is the twenty-first special episode of Critical Role.

Player Characters

 * Jayne, human cleric
 * Clothesline, Tabaxi fighter
 * Kingston LaForge, elf bard
 * Gryffin, Eladrin half-elf sorcerer
 * Frankfurt, dwarf paladin

Quotations
Kingston: I just want to- Clothesline: So choose the next few words carefully! Kingston: Catnip and chill? Ashly: Can I attack Kingston? Sam: Sure! Clothesline: I'm going to- Sam: She's prone. Ashly: I'm prone? What can I do then? Sam: You can get up and you can Liam: It's half your movement, but you can fuck me up still. Ashly: I can get up? Clothesline: Then I'm going to clothesline that motherfucker there Sam: Great! Roll an attack. Liam: I haven't lost a hit point this entire game. Ashly: NATURAL 20! Mary: Boom, karma's a bitch. Sam: That certainly hits. Roll 1d4+4. Mary: Karma's a beeotch, beeotch beeotch beeotch. Ashly: Come on, baby. Sam: 1d4+4 Ashly: 3+4--7 Sam: Double it, 14. Mary and Ashly: FOURTEEN Liam: Nonononono, 3--the dice are doubled. Sam: OK. 6--it's 10. And you're knocked--you're not knocked prone but- Ashly: Did I take my second action surge? Sam: No, do it. Ashly: I'm gonna clothesline you again! Liam: Do it, do it. Mary: Action surge! Ashly: A NATURAL 20! Liam: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? GET OUT OF THIS BUILDING, GET OUT OF THIS BUILDING. Ashly: *howls* Mary: This die...[inaudible] this die--you could sell this die for millions. Sam: So Clothesline turns around, delivers a right arm clothesline to you--it hurts. Mary: Kaboom. Sam: She kisses her bicep, uses the other arm, left arm clothesline on you. Ashly: Gimme a 4, baby, give me a 4. A FOUR! Sam: A 4! Ashly: And you're prone, motherfucker!
 * Clothesline: You are this close from a claw in your goddamn eye Kingston.
 * Sam: Kingston just saved you. Clothesline, you are alive, it is your turn.