Scanlan Shorthalt

Scanlan Shorthalt is a gnome bard, a member of the group Vox Machina and the husband of Pike Trickfoot. He was played by Sam Riegel.

Intro
"Oh, you haven't heard of Scanlan Shorthalt? Well, gird your loins, ladies, because he has his eye on you. A talented musician, master of disguise, and dashingly handsome in his own mind, Scanlan sings songs almost as much as he sings his own praises.

''Born a poor gnome, Scanlan used his endless charm and soaring tenor voice to croon for coin and support his single mother. One day he was discovered by a half-orc promoter, and joined Dr. Dranzel's Spectacular Traveling Troupe, where he learned the ways of the world, and honed his skills as a bard extraordinaire.''

''A loner much of his life, Scanlan has never quite come to terms with the violent death of his mother at the hands of a goblin invasion. While his years on the road provided many, shall we say, educational experiences with the opposite sex, deep down Scanlan yearns for the one thing he's never known: the true love of a fellow gnome.''

''Still, Scanlan considers himself a lover first, performer second, and fighter distant third. On the battlefield, he'll support his allies, but rarely draws blood unless it's to protect fellow gnome Pike. Count on Scanlan for a hearty laugh, a rollicking song, and a twinkle in his eye that melts hearts and makes the females swoon."''

Appearance
he is the most wuderful creture l halve evar seeeen no man or woman can denie his dashing looks. uwu

Personality
Scanlan's alignment is "neutral good", like Keyleth (and, originally, Vex'ahlia). He tended to sit back and watch while his allies strategize and scheme, occasionally making a joke or two. However, when the situation became urgent (or ripe for comedy), Scanlan would eagerly jump into fray.

His quick wit and silver tongue made him Vox Machina's best negotiator and deceiver. Scanlan often acted as support for his allies by enhancing their abilities or weakening their opponents. He was also capable of holding his own with a combination of magic, improvisation, and courage, as exemplified by his solo fight against Duke Vedmire and his eight armed guards.

Scanlan (or rather Sam) created parodies of real-world songs, silly limericks, and comical remarks as part of his Bardic Inspiration, Healing Word, or Cutting Words spells. Some were improvised on the spot, while others were prepared in advance. CritRoleStats has compiled a list of Scanlan's songs used on stream.

Personas
Highly skilled in Deception, Scanlan sometimes found himself in situations where a simple lie or half-truth was not enough, so he adopted a disguise or false identity.
 * Burt Reynolds, Esquire: Initially used with a fake mustache and pretend badge to convince members of the Clasp that he was a customs inspector, the Burt Reynolds persona became Scanlan's deceit of choice when needing to impersonate an authority figure. Burt Reynolds later returned as a lawyer to rescue Keyleth and Tiberius from jail in Vasselheim.
 * Kingslayer: Not entirely a lie, Scanlan's "Kingslayer" title was earned when delivering the killing blow to King Murghol. However, his "Kingslayer" persona deceptively portrayed Scanlan as a more honorable and valiant warrior than his everyday actions might have warranted.
 * The Meat Man: Scanlan provided this pseudonym to the half-orc Rutur in Ank'Harel during a "drug deal". He later adopted it as his underworld moniker when he returned to Ank'harel for revenge.
 * Francois Bertrand Jean-Luc Australia: Scanlan used this name while under the illusion of Seeming to disguise himself as an azer slave-trader in the City of Brass.

Background
Scanlan is fluent in Common, Gnomish and Marquesian. His age is unknown, but he has hinted that there is a "significant age gap" between himself and Percy. It was later revealed in the final episode that his starting age was sixty-nine.

At some point in his past, at least fifteen years before the start of Critical Role, Scanlan encountered a gnome named Sybil (one of many women he has "encountered"). Scanlan unknowingly left her pregnant with a daughter, Kaylie. In fact, Scanlan implied that he had knowledge that he has fathered more children than just Kaylie in.

Scanlan joined up with Dr. Dranzel's Spectacular Traveling Troupe at some point. He left before joining the group that would become Vox Machina.

Scanlan is an extensive womanizer, but has been known to flirt with men as well, particularly Grog and Vax. He has said that Vax kissing him was not the first time an elf-man kissed him (but it was in the top three). When Vax and Grog pranked him with a potion of love, causing him to become infatuated with Percy, it was confirmed that Scanlan is bi- or pansexual:

Before the Stream
At some point, the group either accidentally or intentionally walked through the back door of the Clasp, the thieves' guild in Emon, and almost got into a deadly confrontation. Scanlan was able to trick the guild into thinking Vox Machina was part of the customs department, using a silver star he had made in a previous town.

The bard, by rolling a natural twenty on deception and putting a finger over his upper lip so it looked like he had a mustache, was able to get a man who had access to a tower into letting them in by tricking him into thinking that he was "Burt Reynolds".

Scanlan and Grog managed to intimidate a group of hostile mages in a fighting pit when Scanlan summoned a pony that Grog abruptly decapitated and smeared the gore of on his body while screaming. Scanlan also had Percy build him a bomb to use in that event, but since Grog's intimidation worked, Scanlan kept the bomb, which was later used in.

Scanlan spent much of his time trying to convince Percy to create an exploding donkey, a request that Percy eventually complied to.

He was able to convince some guards to free Keyleth from prison after convincing them that she had pubic lice. She played along by foaming at the mouth and acting insane. Percy acted as her lawyer.

Scanlan was the one who brought Pike back to life after she perished in combat fighting a glabrezu, both by using a small figurine of her he carved two months before and kissing her on the brow. He still keeps the small figurine wherever he goes.

The bard accidentally crashed through a stained glass window when attempting to charge at the Dread Emperor by rolling a natural one. He crashed into a bramble bush three stories down while glass and wood from the window rained down on him.

Chapter 1
Scanlan made his very first kill ever when he killed a multi-headed naga with a Lightning Bolt at the entrance to the Greyspine Quarry.

Chapter 6
Scanlan was killed in battle by the Green Dragon, Raishan, but Pike's quick Revivify spell returned him to life. His death had a serious impact on his state of mind, leading to him trying to develop a drug habit.

Scanlan was later killed by Raishan a second time. Pike's attempted Revivify failed, so Vox Machina took his body back to Whitestone where they performed a successful resurrection ritual.

Leaving Vox Machina
When Scanlan woke up after being resurrected, he was furious that Vox Machina had brought Kaylie and shown her his dead body, since he had previously promised her that he wouldn't die. He blew up at the group, accusing them of not caring about him. Although they did their best to reassure him otherwise, he announced that he was leaving the party and walked out of Whitestone Castle with his daughter. The two of them were later seen walking down a road together, smiling slightly.

Several weeks later, Percy used the Scrying Eye to check in on Scanlan. He saw him and Kaylie performing for a group of farm folk in the Turst Fields.

Several months into the one-year time skip, Scanlan and Kaylie traveled to Ank'Harel and Scanlan reclaimed his self-made title of "The Meat Man". According to Scanlan, "one thing led to another", and the Meat Man ended up becoming one of the three biggest crime lords in Ank'Harel. At some point, Scanlan adopted an illusory disguise for the Meat Man: a Marquetian human named "Aes Adon". Aes hired Lionel Gayheart as muscle for the Meat Man's operation.

Returning to Vox Machina
After the one-year time skip, Scanlan found some information that he judged important, important enough for him to want to deliver it in person to Vox Machina. He then traveled to Whitestone with Lionel to do so, disguising himself as Aes Adan. Lionel accidentally revealed to Vox Machina that his employer, Aes, was known as the "Meat Man". This former alias of Scanlan's tipped them off, and eventually both Vex and Keyleth were able to see through Scanlan's disguise.

Scanlan revealed to the group some information that Lionel had managed to acquire: there was a second Ziggurat in the deserts of Ank'Harel, and it housed another Vecna cult that was making offerings to an Orb of Annihilation. Vex and Vax were quick to welcome Scanlan back, but the other members of Vox Machina (particularly Grog and Pike) were less forgiving towards him. As they made their way to Ank'Harel to investigate this second Ziggurat, he returned to being an active member of Vox Machina.

Dr. Dranzel
Scanlan found himself learning and perfecting his skills as a bard from a half-orc named Dr. Dranzel, and ended up joining his Spectacular Traveling Troupe. During his time with Dranzel, he honed his skills and became knowledgeable of the world around him. They reconnected years later in Emon just before the Chroma Conclave attacked, then reunited on several occasions afterward.

Grog

 * &rarr; Main article: Relationship between Grog and Scanlan.

Grog and Scanlan are best friends, occasionally pursuing the same things.

Kaylie
Scanlan first met Kaylie in the Diamond Nest Tavern, where he was also reunited with Dr. Dranzel and his old troupe. They had a flautist duel—which was mostly a distraction so Vox Machina could pursue Riskel Daxio—and Scanlan forfeited the competition (and all of his money) to the young gnome girl despite having the clear advantage. After that, he invited the girl to his room in Greyskull Keep for the night.



Later that night, Kaylie revealed to Scanlan that she was his daughter that he never knew existed—news that greatly bothered Scanlan. She had trained at the College of the White Duke and traveled with Dranzel in order to hone her skills and, one day, not only find Scanlan and shame him, but also kill him. She then pulled out a dagger, intending to kill him, but couldn't go through with it upon hearing Scanlan's impassioned speech and witnessing him offer his life without resistance. Scanlan mentioned that he knew there was something missing in his life, and that it may well have been his daughter before him. The two shared a tearful hug and, unable to face him anymore that night, Kaylie ran out of the keep.

Scanlan did not reveal this information to the group until the following day, when he asked for their help to get Kaylie out of the stockade for causing a brawl in a bar. She and Dranzel's troupe soon left Emon shortly before the Chroma Conclave attacked. The two later reunited in Westruun when the Herd of Storms occupied the city. Working together, father and daughter aided in the escape of a few of the survivors alongside Dr. Dranzel.

They later reunited in Kymal after the slaying of Umbrasyl. During their reunion, Scanlan admitted that he had been going about his life all wrong, that the gnome he was supposed to love and protect wasn't Pike but Kaylie, his daughter. Scanlan gave her his Singing Dawnblade (which also contained a piece of his Magical Poop of Scrying in the scabbard) for her protection and for him to check in on her on occasion. Kaylie then made her father promise to stay alive and be there for her when the Chroma Conclave was defeated, so they could make up for lost time.

Pike

 * &rarr; Main article: Relationship between Pike and Scanlan.

Scanlan had very strong feelings toward Pike, and it was a source of great humor and emotional moments within the Critical Role campaign. Pike eventually did willingly kiss Scanlan on the cheek when he saved her life once more during their escape from Yug'Voril. He once proposed marriage to the cleric, but Scanlan later rescinded the offer and he and Pike chose to remain close friends.

Following Scanlan's departure and eventual return to Vox Machina, Pike was initially angry and resentful towards Scanlan for leaving the way he did and saying the things he had, leading to some tension between the two. As the group journeyed to stop Vecna, however, Pike quickly warmed back up to Scanlan, and their close friendship was restored.

Once Vecna was finally defeated, Scanlan asked Pike out on a formal date, just to see how things go, to which Pike answered by saying that she was going to ask him the same thing. The two dated for several years before Pike asked for Scanlan's hand in marriage. They have since settled down to live together alongside Grog in Wilhand's old home.

Tiberius

 * &rarr; Main article: Relationship between Scanlan and Tiberius.

Scanlan and Tiberius had a bullying form of friendship, which started at some point before the stream. On many occasions, the two of them took jabs at each other. However, when Tiberius was discovered to have died defending Draconia, Scanlan showed the deepest respect for his fallen friend.

After Vorugal was slain, Scanlan requested that the Ravenites give the sorcerer a proper burial and a statue to mark it with the epitaph, "I Encourage Peace".

Trinket

 * &rarr; Main article: Relationship between Scanlan and Trinket.

Scanlan frequently picks on Vex'ahlia by making jokes about her beloved bear companion, Trinket. He repeatedly suggests that the group leave Trinket behind.

Taryon Darrington
When Taryon Darrington first talks to Pike in gnomish, he recalls only learning it from books that he read and had been taught only briefly by a fellow gnome from a musical group. He describes the "fellow" as "part of a performing troupe" that his father has hired for New Year's Eve, and how he vividly remembers him leaving quickly because something occurred with his "father and house maiden" and was chased out the house. Taryon also says although he doesn't know what exactly happened, his father had to "burn his bed sheets and I think he got a new bed." It is implied that this unnamed gnome bard is in fact Scanlan Shorthalt.

Quests
Originally seeking to win Pike's heart, Scanlan realized that the gnome he was meant to love and protect is his daughter, Kaylie. After successfully slaying the ancient black dragon Umbrasyl, Scanlan promised Kaylie that he would return to her and be the father she needs once he has finished slaying the other members of the Chroma Conclave.

Current Items

 * Aberration Bane Longsword
 * Brass flute (received from J'mon Sa Ord; became tarnished after being used to summon them to battle Raishan)
 * Drow Poison
 * Earring of Whisper (made by Tiberius)
 * Handcone of Clarity (made by Tiberius)
 * Horn of Fog
 * Ioun Stone
 * "In the Belly of Dragons: The Legend of Scanlan Shorthalt and Vox Machina" (working title of Scanlan's book)
 * Mythcarver
 * Pistol and ammunition
 * Ring of Mind Shielding
 * Small statue of Pike
 * Studded Leather Armor of Acid Resistance (received from Vex'ahlia)
 * Wand of Fireballs
 * Wand of Magic Missiles
 * Whip

Former Items

 * Coldsnap Leather Armor (traded to Vex'ahlia)
 * Magical Poop of Scrying
 * Placed in the ruins of the temple to Sarenrae that Pike was rebuilding in Vasselheim.
 * Placed in the kitchen of Greyskull Keep.
 * Placed in the scabbard of the Singing Dawnblade.
 * Scroll of Chain Lightning (expended against K'Varn)
 * Scroll of Gate (expended to summon Yenk)
 * Singing Dawnblade (given to Kaylie)
 * Suude (no doses remaining)
 * Tome of Isolation (given to him by Ioun for use against Vecna; now returned to the Endless Atheneeum)
 * Tome of Leadership and Influence (successfully used by Scanlan; recharging for the next hundred years. given to Keyleth)

Abilities
Because Scanlan is a bard, he has a large array of spells and skills, which he utilizes both in social and combat situations. His spells run the gamut of offense, defense, and support. Due to his expertise as a College of Lore bard, he is capable of inspiring not only his allies, but also himself.

Gnome Abilities

 * Darkvision
 * Gnome Cunning (advantage on INT/WIS/CHA saving throws against magic)
 * Speak With Small Beasts

Feats

 * Tough
 * War Caster

Class Features

 * Bard College: College of Lore
 * Additional Magical Secrets: Counterspell, Lightning Bolt
 * Bonus Proficiencies
 * Cutting Words
 * Peerless Skill
 * Bardic Inspiration (d12)
 * Countercharm
 * Font of Inspiration
 * Jack of All Trades
 * Magical Secrets
 * Ritual Casting
 * Song of Rest (d12)
 * Spellcasting (Charisma-based ability)

Bard Spells
As a level 18 College of Lore bard, Scanlan can know 24 spells at a time. He can also swap a spell out with another one when gaining a level, so some of these spells may no longer be known by him.

Cantrips

 * Friends
 * Mage Hand
 * Message
 * Minor Illusion
 * Vicious Mockery
 * Wristpocket

1st-level

 * Healing Word
 * Thunderwave
 * Unseen Servant

2nd-level

 * Blindness/Deafness
 * Hold Person
 * Invisibility
 * Suggestion

3rd-level

 * Counterspell
 * Dispel Magic
 * Lightning Bolt
 * Major Image
 * Stinking Cloud

4th-level

 * Banishment
 * Dimension Door
 * Dominate Beast
 * Otiluke's Resilient Sphere
 * Polymorph

5th-level

 * Bigby's Hand
 * Dominate Person
 * Greater Restoration
 * Modify Memory
 * Seeming

6th-level

 * Eyebite
 * Otto's Irresistible Dance

7th-level

 * Mordenkainen's Magnificent Mansion
 * Reverse Gravity

8th-level

 * Dominate Monster

9th-level

 * True Polymorph
 * Wish

Blessing of the Knowing Mistress
Upon becoming the chosen champion of Ioun, Scanlan has been granted the following abilities: During this hour you also have advantage on initiative rolls and on saving throws. Once this ability is used it can not be used again "for like a week".
 * A permanent +2 bonus to intelligence.
 * As a bonus action, you may channel the omniscience of Ioun. For one hour whenever you successfully hit a creature with a spell or attack you can learn one of the creatures stats of your choice from the following list:
 * AC
 * Senses
 * Saving Throw Bonuses
 * Damage Resistances
 * Damage Immunities
 * Damage Vulnerabilities

Quotes
Elowen Brist: "Yeah, about your size, light-ish hair..." Scanlan: "Hair the color of the sunset; eyes like waves that crash in the night; breasts supple, firm–" Grog, interrupting: "Okay, uh, Scanlan, uh, Scanlan–" Ashley Johnson: "True, true, true." Scanlan: "I will grant you cock lightning."
 * Scanlan: "You remember what Pike looks like?"
 * Grog: "If I pelvic thrust, will you...?"
 * Scanlan: "Hello. What a lovely dinner we had--LIGHTNING!"
 * Scanlan: "You can dwell on the shit, or you can leave it behind in people’s beds and keep going."
 * Scanlan: "I’m upstairs, trying to take it anally."

Trivia

 * The word scanlan means "scandal" or "scandalous" in Irish.
 * It is also the surname of Irish composer and musical theater actor William J. Scanlan and the stage name of Walter Van Brunt (who was known to have had a bigamous affair that resulted in a child with his mistress and a divorce from his wife). English guitarist for The Fall, Craig Scanlon, had his surname misspelled as "Scanlan" on every record he featured on for The Fall up until and including the 7" single "Lie Dream of a Casino Soul" in 1981.
 * However, despite it's highly appropriate nature, Sam did not choose Scanlan's name deliberately. He rolled for it randomly on a character name generator.
 * Scanlan has the highest charisma score of any player character thus far.
 * In the Critical Role Major Arcana Tarot Card Set, he represents The Fool.
 * When the home game began, Sam had never played before and didn't know what sort of character he wanted to be. Sam asked Liam what the "least cool" character and race combination would be, and ended up choosing to be a gnome bard. This matched his personality in real life as being more silly than imposing and relying more on charm than on skill.
 * Scanlan's background of not really having a father, having mother issues, and being discovered by musicians and growing in fame as a result is due to Sam basing him loosely on the rapper Eminem.