Transcript:Umbrasyl (episode)

List of Transcripts

Pre-Show
MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight’s episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us

nerdy-ass voice actors roll dice and play Dungeons & Dragons. So, welcome. I know we had a two-week

hiatus. We had some birthdays– in fact, the twins had a birthday.

(cheering)

MATT: Awesome. A lot of really amazing community art came out of it, because you guys are

ridiculous, and we’ll probably see some of that at the break today. But before we kick into the

game, let’s get through our announcements for the evening while we also wait for Mr. Sam Riegel,

Scanlan, who I think we all can consider is pretty important to tonight’s events, seeing as how he’s

currently being digested in the belly of the dragon.

LAURA and TRAVIS: Oh shit!

LIAM: That didn’t happen.

MATT: Yes it did. Yes it did. No. So. Starting off our announcements for the evening: first off, I am

going to be flying out bright and early tomorrow morning to A-Kon in Dallas. I’ll be out there

doing panels and signings with a bunch of other great guests. I understand the same weekend is

also Dallas Comic Con, because what the fuck, Dallas? At which Mary and Steve are there also, so

don’t choose: come to both! No.

TRAVIS: Wade the waters.

MATT: Exactly. But I’ll be doing signings, panels, and meeting a bunch of you Critters that are out

in that area, so come by and say hi this weekend. And if not, go say hi to Steve and Mary, wherever

that happens, in the lesser part of Dallas. I don’t know if it is, I just like–

TRAVIS: Yeah, there’s a lesser part of Dallas, totally, over with the lesser– are you guys

throwing up because of how nervous you are?

LAURA: What? No. Oh, my dice! Where are my dice?!

MATT: Where are your dice?

LAURA: I’m so nervous, I don’t even have my dice!

TRAVIS: I’ll go find them, I’ll go find them.

MATT: Travis is going to get them. Wow. Two weeks to stew on this and it’s already falling apart.

LIAM: This is the exact icy, steely demeanor that I depend on.

LAURA: Oh my god, are they in there?

MATT: While he looks for those–

TALIESIN: I have extras, if you need some.

MATT: I do want to also say the newest Dear Abby article series for Critical Role characters went

up– or goes up tomorrow, right?

MARISHA: Tomorrow, Fridays.

MATT: Friday. And whose is that one?

MARISHA: Who goes up next?

LAURA: What? Who goes up what next?

MATT: The next Dear Abby?

LAURA: Oh, I think it’s me!

MATT: Oh! Then we’ll have Vex tomorrow coming up. See her answering questions to various distraught

people throughout the realms of Exandria, and her I’m sure very astute–

LAURA: I’m a really good giver of advice. I learned that about myself.

ASHLEY: It’s true.

LIAM: More about quantity than quality? Maybe?

MATT: Possibly. This is very true. So look for that tomorrow on geekandsundry.com, that’ll be fun

and exciting. Also, for those who didn’t catch it yesterday, we had an awesome event at Meltdown

Comics with the official Dungeons & Dragons crew announcing: one, their new storyline, which is the

Storm King’s Thunder, I think is what it’s called. Really awesome, bringing the giants back into the

world with a very fleshed-out story. I’m super excited about it, and keep tabs on that whenever

that comes out, should be in the next few months, I think. I’ve seen some stuff behind-the-scenes

and it looks really, really cool. But as part of that event yesterday, we also kicked off and

announced a new video series campaign that I’m doing with the actual Wizards of the Coast

Dungeons & Dragons team. Me and Chris Perkins wrote and designed together a story that I fleshed

out and am running for a series of celebrity guests, one of which is our fantastic Ashley

Johnson there.

ASHLEY: Hey!

LAURA and MARISHA: You’re a celebrity!

MATT: That was pretty great, guys. I’m not going to lie, that was pretty legit.

LIAM: Just keep vamping. Keep vamping until the bard gets here.

MATT: That’s right, we’re waiting on Scanlan to get here. Other guests include Utkarsh, Shelby,

Jonah– I wrote all the first names down because the last names, some of them were hard to pronounce, but

you can look up the actual announcements to get the full names. I’m really bad at this. It’s been

two weeks, give me a break.

LIAM: You’re busy. You’re busy.

MATT: Nah! I’ve got so much free time. But it’s going to be a great group, and I look forward to

announcing it soon on when those will begin to air throughout the summer, because it’s going to be a

lot of fun. And I get to play in Forgotten Realms, which is something I’ve wanted to do again for a

long time, and hope I don’t mess up all the existing fantastic lore that Ed Greenwood has

developed since he– oh, are you okay, Laura?

LAURA: No, I really feel like I’m going to throw up.

TRAVIS: There’s literally up-chuck going to happen. Just do it in a little thing and I’ll feed

it back to you like a little bird

LIAM: Just go in there.

LAURA: (retching noise) I threw up so many dice!

TRAVIS: I’ll talk about our sponsor this week.

MATT: You want to jump into that? Yeah, so we have a new sponsor coming in, sponsoring this episode

of Critical Role this evening.

(cheering)

MATT: So Travis, you want to take it away?

TRAVIS: Our amazing sponsor this week is Backblaze. Backblaze is an amazing, unlimited

cloud backup company for your Mac and PC, for just five dollars a month, it’s incredible. We have an

amazing representative from Backblaze in the studio. He’s a crazy, crazy uber-fan. Yev, wave

to me baby, blow me a kiss. He’s incredible.

LAURA: You should check out his Twitter page because he has printed out Flat Mercer and he’s

chronicling his adventures, and I’m pretty proud of it.

TRAVIS: Yes! We’re on you, we’re talking about Backblaze right now.

SAM: Hey guys. Backblaze is a great service.

(laughter)

SAM: It offers unlimited cloud backup for Macs and PCs for just five dollars a month. They’re

supporting the show tonight. I was saying this in the car on the way over.

(laughter)

MATT: Well, please continue, we’re not stopping you.

SAM: Guys, no shit, I just installed it yesterday on my home computer. It’s currently backing up

right now. It’s an online file backup system for all your stuff. Your documents, your media, your

Critical Role fanart, your videos of Scanlan singing things. There’s no gimmicks or additional

charges, it’s just five dollars a month, and! You don’t want to go to Backblaze.com, you want to go

to backblaze.com/criticalrole, where you can get a fully-featured 15-day trial.

TRAVIS: How many days, Sam?

SAM: 15 days, free! If you like it, keep getting it, pay five bucks a month, that’s nothing. Or if

you don’t, whatever, it doesn’t bother me. But it’s only for Critters, and also if you go to

backblaze.com/criticalrole right now, you’ll see pictures of us, quotes from us. It’s actually

really cute.

TALIESIN: Yeah, it was pretty cute.

SAM: And I am such a supporter of these guys that I even wrote a song for them.

MARISHA: What?

SAM: It’s very short. Okay.

MATT: Please, go ahead.

SAM: (singing) I’m backing up in Backblaze of glory! Take me now, download the truth. I’m

backing up– okay, that’s it.

(cheering)

SAM: I need a drink now.

MATT: You did good Sam, you did good.

LAURA: There’s some Guinness in the fridge.

MATT: It’s been cool having sponsors come to the show, partially because they all come to us from

being fans of the actual show, and that’s the driving force behind this, so we want to make

sure that things are on-brand from people who are genuinely interested in our community and have

things to offer that’ll be useful. I can say this as I have a web series I directed many years ago

and spent a whole year doing, I lost all the files because of the hard drive that I had– the

external hard drive failed, and I don’t have any of those anymore. And so since then I’ve been

very, very careful about backing everything up. So this service would have been really helpful back

then. So don’t make the same mistakes I did. There Will Be Brawl only lives as final video files. It

kills me. I couldn’t even fix stuff. Still have the watermark on the last three videos for the

Escapist that I can’t remove. Anyway. Learn from my mistakes. So! Do we have anything else any of

you folks want to announce?

LAURA: E3’s next week!

MATT: E3 is next week.

LAURA: Oh wait, no it’s not. It’s two weeks from now.

MATT: No, it’s two weeks from now.

LAURA: It’s two weeks from now. I’m sorry.

MATT: I believe nothing coming out of that mouth now!

TALIESIN: E3 is two weeks from now, and I’m also going to be at Amazing Comic Con Vegas two weeks

from now. And Signal Boost is currently in its second week, which is hilarious, and amazing, and

you should totally check it out because it’s weird.

MARISHA: Yeah. You’re like the most interesting man in the world.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

MARISHA: It’s fantastic.

LAURA: I’ve always thought that about you, Taliesin.

TALIESIN: Oh. Thanks. I’m now… yeah. I’m going to die today, thank you.

(laughter)

LAURA: No you’re not!

TRAVIS: Pike’s got us covered. Right, Pike?

MATT: All right, great. So, without further ado, and no further delaying the inevitable–

TRAVIS: You got a little something on your–

MATT: Little thing on my nose, right there?

TRAVIS: You might need to go the bathroom, check it out.

MATT: No, it’s great. So let’s go ahead and roll the intro and start playing Critical Role.

[dramatic music]

Part I
MATT: So. Continuing where we left off two weeks ago. The intrepid party of adventurers known as Vox Machina, after recently freeing the town of Westruun from being occupied and ruled by the roving Herd of the Storm, which Grog once hailed from, cut down their brutal leader Kevdak and temporarily restored power to a combination of himself and Kevdak’s son, Zanror. An accord was made between the two of you to agree to go after and destroy the ancient black dragon Umbrasyl, a member of the Chroma Conclave, and marked for you to eventually destroy anyway, but who had currently made a deal with the Herd in exchange for goods, gold, and ruling over the town, would let them live and be essentially undisturbed, seemingly. You gathered an army, you forged a plan, and an ambush was set for the next time the dragon swooped down from atop the mountain Gatshadow to retrieve its package. At this time, the trap was sprung, the dragon held fast by hooks and chains, a giant metallic trap designed and orchestrated by Percival, and everything was going great. The dragon had sustained quite a bit of damage and seemed to be in a rough place until it broke free and left much of the Herd fallen, dissolving and screaming. Also, Scanlan and Vax Dimension Doored into the inside of the dragon and have spent a number of rounds now deciding how to get out of it maybe?

SAM: Tiny Vax. Tiny Vax.

MATT: Tiny Vax. Thanks to a potion that does that. You managed to go ahead and put in an Immovable Rod within its stomach, which held it up for a moment before it decided to truly gain the advantage it needed to escape the circumstance, allowed it to tear through its body, as well as an arrow that was shot by Vex towards her brother, in hopes of– I don’t know, being a signal of hope or to put him out of his misery? I’m still trying to figure it out. At this point in time, Umbrasyl took to the sky and began to coast off towards Gatshadow, seemingly the domain that it’s carved for itself in this region. On its way out, Grog had thrown his newly acquired Bloodaxe and his Chain of Returning into the dragon, left it, and is now being dragged behind it now, dangling as it flies off. And that, my friends, is where we kick back into the story.

TRAVIS: That’s when they knew they fucked up.

(laughter)

MATT: So we have, as you guys– Grog, your feet leave the ground as you swing forward, unable by the momentum pushing forward to keep up with the sheer speed of this dragon and its size, its mass, its full stretched wings, it is far faster than any of you expected and it whooshes off towards the mountaintop. You, just looking behind as the ground just fades further and further away. The rest of you, Vox Machina, seeing this happen, see essentially half of your friends, your party, only one of them visible, now beyond your reach. With that being said, for this circumstance, let’s pick up where we were on the initiative order between you three.

LAURA: Just straight into it!

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: I’m ready.

MATT: We left at the right time for that, guys.

LIAM: I cannot feel the lower half of my body.

(laughter)

MATT: Here, how about this? Because I can’t find the original initiative order, we’ll just say for this circumstance we’ll roll initiative based on what action’s going to happen here. So we’re going to have you three roll initiative.

TRAVIS: Come on, lucky dice. I get advantage on that.

SAM: I got 12.

LIAM: 13.

TRAVIS: 13 also.

LAURA: Oh jeez.

SAM: Starting off right.

MATT: All right. So. As it crests into the sky (whoosh), blackish dragon blood dripping from wounds, you can feel every single tension of its upper torso muscles with each swoop of the wings crushing against you in this rhythmic pattern. What little bit of air currently has been placed at the top of the stomach, based on your Thunderwave, is all you have to maintain any semblance of hope. You, there’s an arrow in darkness. However, Umbrasyl at this point, who does go first in this order, is just concentrating on survival and continues gliding upward. You hear a rumble within the inside of the body, and the essence of a growling, angry voice creeps through. “These foul creatures. Get out of me!” (straining sound) I need you guys to both roll strength saving throws right now.

LAURA: He’s trying to puke you up?

SAM: Or just crush us.

LIAM: Strength saving? Nine.

SAM: Yeah, not great. 15.

MATT: 15. You manage to put your arms against the side, and using whatever forceful arcane cantrips to keep the walls at bay before it actually finds you, and you slip out in time. You, however, do suffer six points of bludgeoning damage as the muscles once again tense against you. Umbrasyl is very much aware that there are now living things inside the stomach squirming around and as the muscles relax, the voice just growls again, “Try all you want. Don’t worry. I can eat you now or later.”

LIAM: Can’t hear you.

MATT: So. We had two 13s and a–

SAM: 12.

MATT: 12. All right. So Grog, Vax, what are you guys doing?

LIAM: I’m taking–

MATT: The Bramblewood is now beneath you, you’re heading towards the mountain, you can see the edge of the forest now.

TRAVIS: Maybe I go first, just in case something–

LIAM: Yeah, go for it.

TRAVIS: The Bramblewood? I’m holding on, right? With the Titanstone Knuckles. Whereabouts is the axe lodged? Can I see where the chain is attached to?

MATT: You can see it curving up ahead of you and with how high the sun is in the sky, it’s around noon, there’s a heavy bit of shadow, and at this distance? Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: (laughs) That went one and then a 13. Minus– zero. 13.

MATT: 13. It seems to be somewhere around the base of the tail, like where the tail meets the rest of the actual body itself, the torso area.

LAURA: It’s in his butt.

MATT: No, it’s not quite in his butt, it’s more in his side.

TRAVIS: How high am I?

MATT: Looking down? Numbers are hard for you to pick up. It’s a long way.

TRAVIS: A long way.

MATT: It’s a long way. Like– yeah.

TRAVIS: Well. Only one way to go. And that’s up. I would like to try and pull myself up the chain towards Umbrasyl.

MATT: All right. Go ahead and make an athletics check.

TRAVIS: Athletics or strength?

MATT: Athletics. Which is better, technically.

LAURA: It’s a strength saving thing, so–

MATT: Yeah, it’s strength plus your proficiency bonus.

TRAVIS: Oh! I get an advantage or?

MATT: You get your proficiency bonus. You’re no longer raging, because this is more fear-struck at this point.

TRAVIS: Oh, 14 plus five– 19.

MATT: 19, yeah. You begin to ascend the chain. You get closer to it, and you can now see the axe itself is embedded and is starting to wiggle and pull out. So you’re making your way up the chain with the full round at this point, you’re almost to it, but that’s going to be the rest of your action this turn.

TRAVIS: Yeah, okay!

MATT: So what are you doing?

LIAM: I’m taking the dragon sword and I am shoving it along the angle of the arrow that’s coming in toward it, to try to go parallel. MATT: Okay. The arrowhead is still poking through–

LIAM: Through, and I’m sending it along that line.

MATT: Okay, okay. All right. Go ahead and make a general dexterity check. To see if you’re able to–

LIAM: Natural 20.

(cheering)

MATT: Okay. Using the essence of where the actual shaft of the arrow has pierced the hide and is stuck through, you take the blade and use your understanding of precision weapons and implements to find the slight opening. And the blade thankfully is very thin. Slide it through with minimal resistance. You can see the muscles are still pushing against it, but the already preset wound from the arrow does guide it through, and you manage to go straight to the hilt, and it’s found its way all the way through the wound. No additional damage is dealt necessarily, but it has gone–

LIAM: This does not count as an attack on the creature?

MATT: You said you wanted to put it through an existing hole.

LIAM: The hole is this thick.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: Like a straw, and the blade is this, that’s not piercing damage? There’s no piercing damage. Whatever you want.

MATT: Do you want to roll an attack for this?

LIAM: Yes, I want it to be an attack.

MATT: Right, now you would make the attack as the blade. The idea being that you wanted to guide it through the hole.

LIAM: I’m going to use one of my Lucks. I’ve got two left. Better.

MATT: Didn’t you use any Luck for the battle?

LIAM: I used one last time.

MATT: Right, so you have two left.

LIAM: 12 plus strength, which is low, is 14. The dragon sword– is the dragon sword plus anything, guys? I don’t know that I have the–

MATT: Plus one.

LIAM: Plus one. All right.

MATT: Yeah, and then it does additional damage against dragons.

LIAM: Oh, and I have to roll– I’ll just say I missed. For my bonus action, I’m going to slide the dagger up along the same line and try to widen that gap.

MATT: Okay. This roll will be at disadvantage.

LIAM: The last one was too, which is why I just scrubbed it.

MATT: Right, right, right. Go ahead and make the secondary attack.

LIAM: No.

MATT: Yeah. Okay, so, the blade is in there and it has found its way through the existing wound, but you don’t quite have the strength to actually wrench it enough to do any real, serious damage as it is a very, very hardy and well-defended creature from its natural mass. The fleshy interior of a dragon is almost as dense and as protected as the armored hide on the outside, and that’s one thing you weren’t counting on when entering its form.

LIAM: And what did I just do, though, with the dragon sword, did I widen the hole?

MATT: You’ve put the blade through the hole and so now you have that blade lodged in, you can then use that to try and widen it in successive turns in itself and that will prevent you from having disadvantage on the attacks with that blade going forward, because it’s already in a soft place and you can just wedge it, but it’s going to be a strength attack for each of those rounds. The dagger unfortunately, you just can’t find any purchase at that point there in the time given, because of the movement and the squishing. You do also suffer an additional seven points of crushing damage.

LIAM: Okay, and I forgot. One other thing I want to do– I have movement too, can I use my legs to push as hard as I can forward a foot or something? I know with movement over difficult terrain it’s halved, and I’m in the most difficult terrain.

MATT: You are in the most difficult terrain there probably is.

LIAM: But if I use my movement could I shove and go like a foot towards the outside, half a foot or anything?

MATT: Pushing towards the wound?

LIAM: Pushing in. Using my legs to go–

MATT: Okay. I would say that would be part of your attack next round. Actual movement within, you would be able to move a few feet but you’d have to release the blade to do so. Any actual blade pushing forward would be your next action, so hold off for the next round. Scanlan, what you got?

SAM: Oi. So I’m in a beast. As we all know, intestines are my favoured terrain–

(laughter)

TRAVIS: I remember him saying that years ago!

MATT: This is true!

LAURA: Back when we first made these characters, I remember you saying that.

SAM: So I held up that rod, clicked it, and then it was pulled out of the body pretty close to where I am right now. When it went, did I see air? Did I see daylight, when it went out of there?

MATT: It was very small. It’s the equivalent of a bullet going through, because the rod when it punched through it didn’t– it’s a very thin, elongated object, so it pierced through like a metal rod at a very high speed.

LIAM: So the dragon got very lucky and it went through like that, and not like that.

MATT: If it would have hit– at whatever angle it would be, even then, it’s only that wide and it would still puncture a tiny slit, and due to the density of both the muscles of the creature and its body, it took damage and there’s a little bit of blood coming from the wound, you imagine, but it’s not like it’s going to leave an open, cavernous hole.

SAM: It’s a cut.

MATT: Yeah, it’s a cut.

SAM: Got it.

MATT: But you did see where it (tearing noise) through.

SAM: And when it went out, I didn’t see any daylight or anything. Just disappeared.

MATT: You just saw it (tearing noise) through the creature’s stomach. You do see a little bit of blood beginning to pour out of where the wound was.

SAM: Okay. Oh boy.

TRAVIS: Do it, baby.

SAM: I don’t know, I got nothing. All right, I’ll just try something and we’ll see if it works and then I’ll try something else next time. I won’t die in one round, right? I’m going to Polymorph into a Tri– not-a-ceratops. Into a small, poisonous snake.

MATT: Okay!

SAM: And I’m going to go straight into that wound.

MATT: Okay, well, before that happens you do take four points of acid damage from the stomach before you take the form, because that would be the top of the round. So, at which point you turn into a small poisonous snake, now floating amongst the acids, and find your way along the surface. And you’re heading towards the wound?

SAM: I’m going into the wound.

MATT: Okay, all right–

SAM: With a swim speed of 30!

MATT: Right, you do.

(laughter)

MATT: Let me check.

SAM: But I don’t know if it’s swimming, it’s more squeezing.

MATT: Through the acid, it’s swimming. Once you get to the actual wound, this is more squeezing. And that’s going to be more of a strength-based element. So that being the case here, a poisonous snake, I’m going to need you to go ahead and roll a strength check to push against the wound.

SAM: Sure, man. This is a strong snake.

LAURA: Really?

SAM: Natural one.

(laughter)

MATT: Which, just as a heads up, is a minus four to its strength, so that’s technically a negative three.

SAM: (bink) Going well, guys!

MATT: Yeah. You just dive in headfirst and with all your snaky might, you slither and slither and slither, just getting nowhere. No headway. This is bad.

(laughter)

LIAM: Why don’t you bite it, dude?

SAM: Oh yeah! Sure, I’ll take a bite.

LIAM: Poisonous bite.

MATT: Sure, go for it. Roll for an attack.

SAM: 14 plus– I have no idea.

MATT: Plus five.

SAM: Hey! That’s a 19. That doesn’t hit.

MATT: A 19? The inside of the stomach is not as well-armored as outer parts of the body. A 19 would hit. Go ahead and roll damage.

SAM: What do I roll?

MATT: This would be– oh no, you don’t roll. It takes one piercing damage.

(laughter)

SAM: Guys, we knocked it down a point!

MATT: And it has to make a constitution saving throw versus your poison. That’s an eight plus 14, at a DC of ten. So yeah, it doesn’t take any additional– oh, it takes half damage. So go ahead and roll 2d4.

SAM: Ooh! Seven.

MATT: It takes three points of poison damage.

(laughter)

SAM: And it is considered grappled. Okay. Plan A, cross it off the list.

(laughter)

MATT: All right. Top of the round. Okay, so, Umbrasyl is still flying up, looking down at its form, is glancing about…

TRAVIS: Don’t see me! Don’t see me!

LAURA: You’re in its butt. How can it see you?

MATT: Grog. As you’re holding onto the axe, you see before you, just pass underneath the leg and the front arms that are reaching down, this giant, dark, looming projection comes down and looks right towards you. The horned front of the dragon as Umbrasyl stares right into your face and goes, “There you are.” (draws in breath, exhales) And unleashes a torrent of acid towards you. I need you to go ahead and make– this is going to roll a dexterity saving throw. You have disadvantage.

TRAVIS: I do?

MATT: Because you’re currently holding onto the chain, but I believe you have advantage on them because you are a barbarian.

TRAVIS: I have Danger Sense. So just one roll?

MATT: Yeah. So just roll.

TRAVIS: That’s not great. 11.

ASHLEY: Can I– do I see them?

MATT: No! They are way over– they’re like a tiny little dragon speck in the distance. We’ll get to you guys here in just a moment, but their situation is a little more dire and immediate, so I have to figure out what’s going on with them right now.

LAURA: What if we could’ve chased after them? Right away?

MATT: You can if you want to. Did you want to go after them?

LAURA and TALIESIN: Yeah.

LAURA: I would have chased after them, immediately, when it took off.

MATT: Okay, we’ll get to that in just a minute. As it is– the dragon’s speed is it can fly 80 feet per round.

LAURA: That’s really fast, though.

MATT: Yeah, and it’s making double-dash manoeuvring here, even at your fly speed on the broom–

LAURA: What do great eagles have? Giant eagles, I think, have really fast speed too.

MATT: Let’s check that real fast. Giant eagles–

MARISHA: 80.

MATT: 80 feet. So the eagles are able to keep up. Do you want something that way?

LAURA: So, if the eagles were to pick up somebody–

MATT: First off, Grog, you take 62 points of acid damage.

TRAVIS: Nice.

LAURA: Wait, you have acid resis– no, you don’t, because Keyleth– it went away.

TRAVIS: It went away?

LAURA: Yeah, remember? Because she used–

MATT: She took damage and it dropped.

MARISHA: I took damage, I’m sorry. It wasn’t my fault. I lost concentration. Blame the dragon that did 40 damage.

MATT: So, as the stream pours past you, you feel your flesh burning, and elements of your skin are actually sloughing off and plummeting beneath you like a thick oatmeal.

LAURA: Gross!

MATT: You still maintain your grip on the axe through sheer force of anger and willpower. Umbrasyl slows down a little bit in not doing the double-dash maneuver. That’s going to end Umbrasyl’s turn. So you sent the eagles after–

LAURA: Well no, I wanted the eagles to pick up Pike and Percy.

MATT: So the eagles swing by–

MARISHA: Wait, not yet. Stone! Stone!

TALIESIN: Throw her the teleport stone!

ASHLEY: Gatestone! I pull it out of my bag. Pass it to her.

TALIESIN: I’m going to hop on an eagle.

LAURA: I literally am sending the eagles as this is happening and I dash out of the tree on my broom, and go for the Immovable Rod, just long enough to stop and grab it and keep taking off after the dragon.

MATT: Okay, so you retrieve the rod, grab it, and head off in that direction. So we now have both of you, on eagle-back, heading off, with you trailing behind as you can’t quite travel at the same speed as the eagles.

TALIESIN: I’m going to try and clear my gun while I’m up there, too.

MATT: Okay. Keyleth, what are you doing?

MARISHA: You’ve got a ride. Animal handling. I’m going to drop and I’ll start focusing on the Gatestone.

TALIESIN: So, situated, I’m just going to try and clear the gun and see if it’s an easy fix.

MATT: Go for it.

TALIESIN: Nope. Gun’s broken.

LAURA: It’s broken?

TALIESIN: Yeah, gun’s broken. I’ve got another gun, but big gun’s broken.

MATT: Yeah, Bad News is out. All right. As you’re flying off you’re having a hard time with the bumpy ride, as this eagle also has been near death due to being partially dissolved by the acidic attack from the dragon before. It wasn’t the acid, it was something else that wrecked it.

LAURA: No, it was a bite or a claw.

MATT: Yeah, I think it was a bite or a claw, because the acid would’ve destroyed it. So the eagle’s heavily wounded, and due to it shuddering and trying to keep up it just causes you to end up bending a portion of the actual weapon.

TALIESIN: Damn it. I put it away.

MATT: All right. So you guys are keeping up. You’re concentrating on the stone.

MARISHA: One minute, baby.

MATT: Bringing us back now. Grog, you’re recovering from this attack.

TRAVIS: I look down and I see my beautiful body tattoos melting away like instant oatmeal. Not even like the nice apples and cinnamon kind, it’s like the maple brown sugar that no one–

LAURA: That’s my favorite kind of oatmeal.

TRAVIS: Nobody likes that; you’re alone in this. And it makes me so angry that I go into a rage?

MATT: Do recall, you do have one point of exhaustion since your frenzied rage did wear off beforehand.

TRAVIS: Right, yeah.

MATT: So you go into a rage.

LAURA: Oh but we have Heroes’ Feast, is that good?

MATT: It doesn’t help with that, no.

TRAVIS: All right. So I go in a rage, and I would like to try and continue climbing up the remainder of the distance to Umbrasyl.

MATT: Okay. Athletics check, with advantage.

TRAVIS: That was a one.

LAURA: Oh, that’s way better!

TRAVIS: That’s much better. That’s a 29.

MATT: You find your way up, grabbing onto the edge of the tail, and you actually pull yourself up onto the base of the tail. You’re on the back of Umbrasyl right now. The chain is still currently attached to its side.

MARISHA: Khaleesi!

TRAVIS: Mother of dragons! Do I have any more movement?

MATT: It’s taken your whole turn to really get up there. Are you going to dislodge the Bloodaxe, or leave it there?

TRAVIS: I’m going to dislodge it, because it was already so weak.

MATT: Okay, so go ahead and make your check to remove it. It’s a DC 12, I think.

TRAVIS: That’s a one. Yep.

MATT: You pull on the chain, but the reason it managed to hold your weight this whole ride up was it was wedged pretty well into its armored hide. And thank god it did. However, at this point, it’s proving that that is now coming back to haunt you, as it is really hard to pull it from where it’s stuck in the dragon. That’s going to be the end of your turn. Vax.

LIAM: First turn I’m going to use the dragon blade to attack and slice downward and try to wedge that hole open a little bigger.

MATT: Go for it.

LIAM: That hits. Well, I don’t know if it hits. Nine plus my strength for this sword, right, not dexterity?

MATT: Correct. I’m letting this one be a finesse.

LIAM: I probably hit him before. So that’s a 25.

MATT: 25? You carve an opening in the side about a foot and a half in full length there. As you drag it you hear a roaring. Go ahead and roll damage on that.

TALIESIN: It’s 1d8 plus your dex–

LIAM: Yeah, I know, I got that written down, thank you. 16.

MATT: 16? All righty.

LIAM: And then, this is a game rules thing. Grog’s within five feet of this thing and I’m no longer at disadvantage. Or am I?

MATT: This is less rules and more narrative. You don’t understand the body or where you really are in the body of the dragon. He’s not threatening the creature right now. If anything, it’s potentially threatening you. This would not be a sneak attack.

LIAM: I’m not arguing, I’m asking what’s possible.

MATT: No worries.

LIAM: I’ll use the dagger to hit. Am I at disadvantage with the dagger still?

MATT: I’d say yes, because the only reason you didn’t have disadvantage with the other blade is because it was within an existing wound and then you pulled back.

LIAM: Then I miss.

MATT: Okay, the other dagger, you go ahead and stab again, this time it hits a dense part of muscle and does sink in, but not enough to do any serious damage from the inside.

LIAM: And there’s air queefing in and out of this slot?

(laughter)

MATT: A little bit, yes. It’s about that wide. You staying there?

LIAM: Yes. No. I’m going to slide my body and try to stick head and dagger arm out of it and hang half in and half out, if possible.

MATT: Yeah. Go ahead and make a straight strength check.

LIAM: 13.

MATT: 13? That’s fine. Thankfully, the DC’s lower because you managed to carve the large wound in. You plant your feet against the other muscle wall that you are between and you push off and get yourself through. And in the most awkward, tiny birth, just above your armpits, your head and arm emerge out the side. Immediately a gust of wind hits your hand as you realize and look down: you are hundreds of feet above the ground. Bramblewood right beneath you. But you are partially out of the dragon.

LAURA: You can breathe!

LIAM: (gasps for air)

MATT: Take a deep breath. You take three points of crushing damage as the muscle walls around you are still squeezing in on you in your current placement. That ends your turn. You! At the top of your round, your snake takes acid damage. Only one point of acid damage. How many hit points does your poisonous snake have?

SAM: I don’t think he has very many.

MATT: It may have less than one hit point, in which case, you’re just going to turn right back into Scanlan.

SAM: I think he’s dead.

MATT: Let’s find out. It has two hit points!

SAM: Oh god! Oh no, but wait, I took damage last round, too.

MATT: That was before you transformed. It was at the top of your round.

SAM: Hey, I’m still a snake!

(laughter)

SAM: Well, I’m not going to try that any more. If I drop form, is that my whole round?

MATT: No, you just let it go.

SAM: I’m going to drop the snake. Snake was a try and fail.

MATT: It was a good idea. Just not a very strong snake.

SAM: I drop the snake, try to get that little bubble of air (gasps), and I’ll fucking cast Bigby’s Hand.

MATT: Okay! So, using that little pocket of air, you bring your hand up, you do your quick somatic components, shouting the phrase, and Bigby’s Hand appears and is currently being squished between some of the walls of the stomach.

SAM: Can he move at all?

MATT: Yeah!

SAM: Okay. I would like to fist the wound. Jam it, find a finger and– how you like that?

TALIESIN: You’re fingering the wound. Okay!

(laughter)

SAM: This wound will never heal.

MATT: I don’t– yeah.

(laughter)

SAM: So would it be a forceful hand?

MATT: This would be a very forceful hand. This would be the definition of Bigby’s Forceful Hand. Go ahead and roll an athletics check for Bigby, which is strength 28, so add plus eight to the roll.

SAM: 12?!

MATT: Total of 12?

SAM: Yes!

MATT: The finger pushes partway in and gets about halfway up to its second knuckle.

(laughter)

MATT: It is just chilling right there.

SAM: This is so embarrassing! Wow!

(laughter)

MATT: I’m blushing, man!

LIAM: All about phrasing.

SAM: Wow! Okay!

MATT: All right, that’s your turn.

SAM: I have movement, right?

MATT: You do have movement, yes.

SAM: I can’t move anywhere! I have climbing stuff with me. Can I move my arms at all?

MATT: You can move your arms, yeah.

SAM: I would like to take out a grappling hook and grab onto the inside lining of the stomach.

MATT: Okay, make a strength check.

SAM: Nope! Six!

MATT: Six. You take it and (ting, swish). It just slips along the very heavy mucous material lined interior of the stomach. There’s a little scrape line, but that’s about it.

SAM: I can’t do anything! It’s great.

MATT: Top of Umbrasyl’s round. Breath weapon does not return. However, is going to use one of its legendary actions and attempt to beat its wings to shake you off of it, Grog.

LAURA: Are you raging?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: I need you to go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw.

TRAVIS: Which I have advantage on. 18.

MATT: 18. You take 15 points of bludgeoning damage, which is reduced by half, so you’re only taking seven. However, you are knocked prone.

TRAVIS: (laughing) On his back.

MATT: Yes, which causes you to begin tumbling off the back of the tail. The wind of it– (thump thump)

TRAVIS: Shit!

MATT: The chain of returning is still attached to you, however, and as you go tumbling off the back of the tail, it catches you, and you are now swinging towards the back of the creature, of the dragon now, back where you started. Only the dragon is very aware of your presence. But you didn’t plummet to your death!

TRAVIS: That’s good!

MATT: That was the end of your turn. Now it’s the top of Umbrasyl’s turn.

SAM: These dragons are hard to kill!

MATT: Yeah, imagine that! At this point, now, as this has gone on for a little while as you guys began to ascend and it went upward, it’s now partway up the mountainside. You can see the forest has gotten more sparse. There are trees scattered across the top of the mountaintop.

LIAM: We’re close to Gatshadow already?

MATT: You can see it. You’re not there, but it’s going across the forest top and it’s coming towards the actual mountain base. It hasn’t quite ascended it completely.

LAURA: What about giant eagles with people on them?

MATT: They’re keeping in tandem with it. They’re not able to quite catch up entirely, just due to the nature of the fast dragon.

LIAM: Arrow range?

MATT: Not for her, unfortunately, no.

TALIESIN: We’re not within 400 feet of it, are we?

MATT: You, at this point, jumping on, would just be on the outside of the range if you wanted to try. You’re at disadvantage on these attacks because you are on the back of a flying, wounded bird.

LAURA: Don’t let the bird get hit by Umbrasyl!

TALIESIN: Fuck it. Taking a shot. At least taking one shot to see what happens. Ooh yeah. Natural 20.

MATT: With disadvantage.

TRAVIS: Do it again.

TALIESIN: 18, that’ll do. 27 to hit.

MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

TALIESIN: Oh, and he still has– no, I lost Hex.

MATT: You lost Hex, yeah.

LIAM: You’re doing great, de Rolo, come on! Keep your head in the game.

TALIESIN: 14 points of damage.

MATT: Gun goes off. You hear a whizz go by your ear as the bullet hits the side of Umbrasyl. (grunting) The head looks back towards the rest of you, now approaching at a distance.

LAURA: Do not let the bird get hit! You will plummet to your fucking death.

TALIESIN: I’m going to spend the rest of my attack pushing the eagle down to fly at tree level.

MATT: So, at the top of Umbrasyl’s turn, as you guys are pushing forward and you’re still concentrating, the dragon growls under its breath. (spellcasting) You can’t hear it. You’re too far away.

ASHLEY: She can read lips!

LAURA: I’m so far away! I just want to know what he’s saying.

MATT: The outer view of the dragon shimmers for a second and then vanishes from sight.

LIAM: Are we visible?

MATT: No.

LIAM: We’re not like Wonder Woman inside the jet? What about my hand hanging out?

MATT: Yeah. You see the dragon.

SAM: What about Grog?

MATT: Grog is dangling from nothing right now. Grog is kiting through the air.

TALIESIN: You have Hunter’s Mark.

ASHLEY: So we can see Grog?

MATT: In theory, yeah, if you can keep a bead on him.

TRAVIS: I’m enlarged.

MATT: A very heavy Grog.

LAURA: Is he Hunter’s Marked still–

MATT: He would be. You haven’t taken a lot of damage yet, or at all.

LAURA: I haven’t taken any damage.

MATT: Then you still have Hunter’s Mark on him, yeah. Continues upward. That comes to the next part. Grog, you’re up.

TRAVIS: I had one question. I drank that Potion of Speed. It hastes me for a minute. How many rounds is a minute?

MATT: That has gone away, unfortunately.

TRAVIS: Well, there’s nothing to do but to climb back up the chain!

MATT: Make an athletics check.

TRAVIS: Up the chain! Fucking weiner snap. 15.

MATT: 15? All righty. You manage to pull yourself halfway up the chain. You get back to where you were towards the base of the tail. That’s the extent of your round there. The wind resistance itself, you can see the axe itself, after you tried to tug it forward, did bring it a little loose. So its position is still a little precarious.

TRAVIS: Might as well say something cool. I can do this all day! I’m really not confident.

MATT: All right. Vax.

LIAM: I would like to use my movement, if I can, with the blade I used to go this way, and I cut a big foot-long thing. I want to try to use my movement to reverse the direction of the blade and stab inward.

MATT: It would be part of the attack to draw it out and attack. It wouldn’t use your movement. It would be part of the attack to draw it out and attack with it. It wouldn’t use your movement.

LIAM: My dagger hand’s the one that’s out. I want to try to maneuver the sword around and stab inward and keep cutting bacon in here. I want to attack the dragon, but still from the inside with the hand that’s inside.

MATT: Okay. You’re in a weird position now where the blade’s at your side, so pulling away from the body, there’s very little strength to pull that way, since you punched through the wound. So you’re essentially holding the blade right here.

LIAM: Then if I did this, can I just continue to saw in the same direction and do an attack?

MATT: You’d be at a disadvantage on it.

LIAM: Visual. I don’t know what I’m seeing.

MATT: You stabbed through, you cut a wound. Holding that blade, you punched through, and the thickness is about most of your body’s length. So most of your body is still in the wound. You’ve just barely pushed through, and you’re still holding the blade back this way. There’s no real strength to attack from this position because you’re being squished.

LIAM: Then I’m going to attack at disadvantage with the dragon blade, and then I’m going to stab with the dagger that’s outside.

MATT: Go for it.

LIAM: Dragon blade on the inside rolled a 15.

MATT: 15?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: There’s just not enough strength to get it though. You try and pull upward and the blade comes loose, comes towards your body, but doesn’t actually find any additional part of the muscle to cut through.

LIAM: Dagger on the outside is 21.

MATT: 21? Just scrapes across the hide. Not strong enough to pierce it from the outside. You do also take one point of bludgeoning damage as the wound tenses around you once more. Scanlan!

SAM: For my bonus action, I’m going to fist the dragon again! Just going to jam it in there!

MATT: Roll an athletics check with plus eight.

SAM: 20!

MATT: 20! The hand pushes into the wound, causing it to tear open and rupture part of the stomach. As it punches through, temporarily leaving an open wound in the side of its stomach area, Bigby’s Hand is partially outside the dragon now.

SAM: Great!

MATT: It takes 11 points of damage from the wound. And you currently have a little bit of light that’s visible before the wound closes.

SAM: Before the wound closes.

MATT: The muscles re-tense. You watch it punch through and everything (gasp). It’s the moment of impact.

SAM: I’m going to jump in the hole.

MATT: You leap in after Bigby’s Hand just in the wake of it slamming into the side of the muscle of the stomach walls. In that one moment, you’re rushing past, you can feel the actual muscles tensing behind you. Go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw.

SAM: Dexterity saving throw. 18!

MATT: 18! Okay! You manage to leap behind Bigby’s Hand and grab onto the side of it as the hand punches entirely out of the dragon’s body, the wound slamming shut behind.

SAM: Oh god, I’m outside the dragon?!

MATT: You are now outside the dragon.

SAM: (screams) Shit!

MATT: Holding onto Bigby’s Hand.

SAM: Is he flying? Does he stay still? What does he do?

MATT: He is flying.

SAM: He can fly?!

MATT: Bigby’s Hand!

SAM: Not as fast as the dragon.

MATT: Bigby’s Hand can move up to 60 feet, so no, it’s slower than the dragon. Starting to drag a little bit behind as it’s moving.

SAM: God. Okay! Hand can’t do anything else, right?

MATT: No, that was its action. That’s most of your turn, really, at this point. That was your movement to push through after the bonus attack, so you have your action. I’ll give you your action.

SAM: You’re not going to let me cast another spell, probably.

MATT: You have an action, so you could, technically. You look out as you punch through. You look down below you suddenly after you take a moment to look, and you can see part of Vax emerging from the side of the dragon. And then the whole dragon and Vax vanish.

SAM: Oh shit! Wait, I see Grog?

MATT: You do see Grog, dangling from the chain, slowly pulling his way up towards the back.

TRAVIS: (screaming) Scanlan!

SAM: I’m holding onto the hand?

TRAVIS: (screaming) What the fuck?!

MATT: You are now right there with Bigby’s Hand.

(laughter)

SAM: The Hand can’t do anything else.

MATT: Not this turn, no.

SAM: Shit. I just got out of the dragon. I don’t know what’s going on. I didn’t even know we were flying. I’m just going to shoot a Lightning Bolt at him.

MATT: Okay!

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: All right. Advantage on the dexterity saving throw. What’s the DC of it? The DC of the Lightning Bolt?

SAM: It’s my spell. It’s not through the Hand Cone, I assume.

MATT: Nope, you are clutching both hands onto the side.

SAM: 18.

MATT: 18. It makes the save. Roll damage, and it takes half damage.

SAM: 26.

MATT: 26. All right, so it takes 13 points of lightning damage. (blast) The bolt streaks upward, hitting the sides of the wound that you just came out of it, and arcs up the side of the body. Most of it is absorbed from the hefty, scaled hide of the black dragon, but it does (unhappy groan) roil with pain. You hear it yelling, and with a very slight shifting of light, you notice the dragon is still there, and you recognize this. This is an Invisibility spell. That ends your turn.

SAM: I guess so.

MATT: So, the rest of you guys, trying to keep up. The dragon’s far out of range of anything you have, and it’s just seems to be coasting as fast as it can out of the way, so you have nothing, I don’t think, that can really go past a 300, 400 foot range. So you’re just keeping on that eagle, holding on. You as well, you’re behind the others, just slowly falling behind.

LAURA: How fast can my broom go?

MATT: I think it’s 50 feet. I can look it up again real fast. It’s not a racing broom. Quidditch broom. I’ll find it for you.

LAURA: And my boots of haste don’t do shit to a broom.

MATT: I’m going to look it up right now, just to let you know, so we can all relax.

TRAVIS: It’s the fastest model yet! I love Harry Potter.

MATT: I gather that.

(laughter)

MATT: I love it, too. Broom of Flying. Flying speed is 50 feet. You can’t even see it now. Grog’s just become this little speck in the distance. All right, so as that’s going on, are you doing anything?

TALIESIN: I’m going to keep my eyes peeled on what I can see and try to keep up as best I can at treeline, like below.

MATT: Back to the top of the round. The dragon, Umbrasyl, now (wings flapping). Even you are being dragged behind nothing, you can hear the wings beating. You still have full sight of the dragon at this point. The voice growls out of its throat, “Fine. Let’s see how well you hold on, insects!” It begins to spin and do a barrel roll. I need both of you, as also its muscles tense, to roll strength saving throws.

TRAVIS: I have advantage on those.

LIAM: Six.

MATT: Six?

TRAVIS: 26.

MATT: 26. You get swung around, the chain taking the brunt of all the weight across its back. (popping) Comes free. Thankfully, you were in an up arc, but you are now arcing in the air. You also get ejected from the wound from the muscles tensing behind, it almost squeezes you out. Before you can even get a grapple on, the dragon vanishes from sight and you’re now falling backwards.

LIAM: I’d like take a chance to say, here, that when I went into this dragon, I was lost, and a wanderer. As I am shat out its side, I come forth a paladin of the Raven Queen. I have multiclassed and leveled up. And the last thing I’m thinking as I shoot out this hole in its side is: if you have any wings to lend me, now is the time.

MATT: Okay. As you emerge from the body of Umbrasyl, there is a streak of shadow that scatters into a burst of darkened raven feathers that fill the air around you. You still plummet, but as a nature of your prayer, that brief moment of understanding, it appears there is some reaction. That’ll be that element there.

MARISHA: Where am I in my minute?

MATT: Oh, you’re like 20 seconds in. 30 seconds in.

ASHLEY: Are they all falling?

MATT: You guys now watch as, suddenly, Grog and Vax just (rush of air). Vax appears out of nowhere and is falling. Scanlan’s being held aloft by a distant Bigby’s Hand, and Grog is arcing in the air. At that point now, Grog, Vax, what are you doing as you’re falling backward?

TRAVIS: I take out a case of fancy wine and–

(laughter)

TRAVIS: I pull out a fancy robe, of which there are two, and pull it out. I’m going to drop the Bloodaxe. I’m going to grab both ends of the fancy robe and just make the shittiest parachute of all time.

MATT: (air puffs)

TRAVIS: There ain’t much else to do.

MARISHA: Shitty G.I. Joes.

MATT: Yeah, it’s like 25 cent quality, above you, Grog, as you squeeze your eyes and hold on. Plummeting down towards the Bramblewood. Vax.

LIAM: Hey, I’m a brand new paladin. Lay on Hands, which is going to do fuck all for me, but is that a bonus action?

MATT: I believe it’s an action.

LIAM: An action? Okay. I’m going to cast Lay on Hands on myself. And I’m going throw my poison dagger at the dragon as I fall. That’s a 23.

MATT: 23 does hit.

LIAM: That is ten points of damage with poison on it. It’s a DC of 15 for poison. I’m sure it makes it.

MATT: Yeah, it makes it. It would’ve had to roll a one to not make it, unfortunately.

TRAVIS: Could I add one bonus thing at the end of mine?

MATT: Sure.

TRAVIS: Can I see Scanlan and Bigby’s Hand at all? Or is the world just a clusterfuck?

MATT: Make a perception check, just glancing around you.

TRAVIS: Four.

MATT: Four. No. You see earth beneath you, sky above, mountain to your left, and the inevitable plummet coming at you.

LIAM: I’m thinking about my mother as I fall backward through space.

SAM: Distance between me and them?

MATT: Vax is about 20 feet from you, Grog’s about 60, 70 feet from you.

SAM: What’s the range of– shit.

TALIESIN: 50 feet.

TRAVIS: Remember, we’re going to be going the same direction.

MARISHA: They’re both falling, yeah. Vax will hit the ground first.

SAM: Vax will?

TRAVIS: I’m higher.

MATT: The dragon’s moved ahead to this point now since you guys have fallen off.

SAM: Is anyone higher than me?

MATT: Grog is. Vax is a little bit below you.

SAM: And he’s not flying or anything, is he?

MATT: He’s trying. He’s holding a scrap piece of fabric that’s just (rustling fabric).

TRAVIS: I’ve seen Percy make shit, I can do it, too! (blows puffs of air)

TALIESIN: You’re doing very well. You’re doing very well.

SAM: Wow. This didn’t go well.

MARISHA: I’m hoping you can hold on for a minute.

SAM: Okay. Yeah! I’m going to drop Bigby’s– 60 feet is not plummeting speed? I can’t catch up to them as they fall?

MATT: Right now, you could catch up to one of them.

SAM: All right. Because Grog is over me, right?

MATT: Yeah, Grog is in an arc, so you would have to meet him as he fell.

SAM: I’ll try to catch him then.

MATT: Okay, so you clutch onto Bigby’s Hand and move as he plummets.

SAM: Shit, wait. Wait.

MATT: What are you doing? What are you doing, Scanlan?

SAM: Shit. Vax is below me, though.

LIAM: He said you can get to one of them, so it’s just a Sophie’s Choice.

SAM: It’s a Sophie’s Choice.

MARISHA: But who’s on the lowest hit points?

SAM: Yeah, I would go for Grog if he’s above me, with the hand.

MATT: Okay. The hand comes forward, sends out this cupping motion, the fingers below. You, eyes closed, clenching tight, (impact). All of a sudden, the wind stops, and it’s like you’re being held by your mother again, a memory you haven’t recalled since you were a child. You open your eyes slowly, and you’re still above the ground! Holy shit! But there’s a giant purple hand around you and a very freaked out Scanlan clutching the outside.

TRAVIS: Look what you did!

SAM: Hi, friend. Shit. We’ve got to go to Vax. I’ll start moving us slowly down, I guess.

MATT: That was the turn to even get to him and catch him.

SAM: Then– fuck.

MATT: You still have an action if you have anything.

SAM: I can’t see the dragon anymore, right?

MATT: No. You have a vague idea of where it might be.

MARISHA: Do you still have Polymorph?

SAM: Yeah, concentration.

MARISHA: Fuck.

SAM: Yep. I mean, I can make Grog deaf so he won’t hear us die.

(laughter)

MATT: That’s useful.

TALIESIN: That seems like a really good use.

SAM: I got Grog. Fuck. Okay. I’m going to drop Bigby’s Hand and Polymorph Grog into an eagle.

MATT: Okay. So, as you look over at Scanlan, with a big look of relief and thank you, he gives you a cursory look as the hand vanishes.

TRAVIS: What. What?! (screams)

SAM: Holding on to him!

MATT: He grabs you real fast, and suddenly you have feathers! What the shit! And, strangely, you become smarter! As giant eagles have an intelligence of eight.

LIAM: Quick, come up with a plan!

TRAVIS: It’s a new day, baby.

SAM: His brain is just geometry.

MATT: It’s a Beautiful Mind moment in the middle of the sky. Suddenly you understand, the instinct hits you, and (whoosh). You have wings. You feel Scanlan’s tiny hands grasping the back of your neck.

SAM: And I just yell at him, dive, motherfucker, dive!

TRAVIS: (caw)

MATT: All right. You guys start seeing this happen in the distance and a little sparkle of hope hits you, whatever it may be. Coming back around to the top, Umbrasyl is taking a double dash motion. He’s past.

LIAM: He got away.

MATT: Grog, it’s your turn.

TRAVIS: Can I see that flurry of black feathers streaking downwards of this guy?

MATT: You do, and it is a perpetual flurry. They’re coming out of nowhere. It is this long, visual line of black feathers that are being tossed from beneath Vax’s flapping cape.

TRAVIS: We’re going full Point Break terminal velocity, straight down towards Vax.

SAM: I hope I can hold on! There’s nothing to grab onto, is there?

MATT: There’s just heavy feathers and digging in.

SAM: Luckily, I have a grappling hook. (dink dink dink)

TRAVIS: Maybe in my dive position I could squeeze your legs with my wings, how about that?

LAURA: You’re really smart. You would think to do that.

TRAVIS: I would.

ASHLEY: Yeah, you would.

TRAVIS: I would also think, what idiot was just flying behind the back of this dragon on a chain? What a fool.

MATT: So as you go into a full dive, that’s 80 speed, that’s 160 feet. (whoosh) You manage to just crest underneath the plummeting Vax, the trail of black feathers, trailed by a long line of brown feathers being plucked out from Scanlan, feverishly trying to grab onto your back for some sort of purchase. Pain. You deal with pain all the time. It doesn’t dissolve your focus. Vax, I need you to go ahead and attempt to grab onto the eagle as it swoops beneath you. Go ahead and make a single strength saving throw.

LIAM: No, wait, Luck! I have one last Luck.

MATT: This is the time to use it.

LAURA: Oh my god!

LIAM: 21.

MATT: As the eagle swoops underneath you, you reach out. You don’t even see it, you’re looking up into the sky as you plummet, the trail of feathers going past as you concentrate on the acceptance you’ve made to the Raven Queen, and the understanding that perhaps, if there is a chance to survive, let it be through this leap of faith you’ve taken in the direction of an entity that you’ve been so fearful of and scoffed at since she came to you in your dreams. A moment, you see the feathers begin to trail off and subside from beneath your cloak, and a voice whispers in your ear and says, “Left.” Without thinking, your hand reaches out, without even seeing, and you (impact) grab the edge of Scanlan’s cloak.

SAM: Oh no!

MATT: As you’re dragged behind, you (choking) from behind.

SAM: It’s worth it, it’s worth it!

MATT: You can barely breathe as the eagle swoops up, you can feel the heartbeat, the blood flowing in the back of your head, your ears hot (heartbeat) as you slowly reach over and grab the back of the eagle. Is this Keyleth? You don’t know. All you know is Scanlan swooped in and in this moment of need, seemingly, a prayer was answered. So what are you guys doing?

LAURA: And you’re itty bitty still!

LIAM: I prefer raven-sized.

MATT: Yeah, he’s tiny. That’s the only reason I’m not having him tear you off the back of the eagle, because of the size.

TRAVIS: Unless I hear otherwise, I’m making a controlled descent towards the ground.

MATT: Okay. You guys see this in the distance as now the eagle captures the falling Vax and then begins to head down towards the base of the mountain where the Bramblewood meets.

LAURA: I guess we head down that direction.

ASHLEY: Yeah. Make the eagle follow.

MATT: Okay. You guys make your way downward towards the bottom. Keyleth, you finish your concentration on the stone. (whoosh) Suddenly, you step through, being pushed through a tunnel of blue light and energy, and for a moment, all you see before you is Vax’s face, his tiny little raven-sized face.

MARISHA: So cute!

MATT: (whoosh) As you guys watch Keyleth apparate right in front of Vax, and go speeding past you, as she’s now plummeting from the air, having summoned to your side.

MARISHA: I’m technically an earth elemental still.

MATT: You’re still earth elemental? So yeah, you see Keyleth as a giant boulder that appears at the side. You have to dodge out of the way (whoosh) as this giant rock being, out of the corner of your eye, appears before you. However, she sinks straight past you. You’re flying as low as you can, you’re going terminal velocity, and there is this (rumble) rock entity plummeting at the same rate.

TALIESIN: A meteor.

MARISHA: You know, it was a good idea when he was still in the dragon.

MATT: Yeah, I know. It was.

LIAM: (singing) I came in like a wrecking ball!

MATT: At about 200 feet up, you continue to plummet.

MARISHA: 200 feet? That’s all right.

MATT: All right. You’re not doing anything else? You’re going to take the fall?

MARISHA: Well, what’s below me?

MATT: The very edge of the Bramblewood and the base of the mountain. You’re not quite sure where you’ll land. You see treetops and rocks.

TALIESIN: What’s the worst that’s going to happen?

MARISHA: I would hit zero hit points as an earth elemental and go back to Keyleth.

MATT: And then the rest of the damage would carry over.

MARISHA: Right, but 200 feet. That’s survivable.

MATT: That’s 20d6.

SAM: You’ll be fine. What’s that? 60 points.

MARISHA: Yeah. It’s roughly 60 points, and I’ve got 67 left as this earth elemental.

MATT: All right, so you’re going to take it?

MARISHA: Hang on, wait. Wait, wait. If I’m going to do this, I’m going to do it right. I’m going to ball up like a cannonball and light up my hands, that I keep forgetting because I didn’t know I could do them in elemental form, by the way. Thought it was only beast form. I’m going to light myself on fire and go meteor. MATT: All right. You guys watch as the earth elemental curls up, forms this streak of flame and smoke behind, and now a plummeting Keyleth meteor goes slamming into the base of the mountain just past you as you pull up from impacting at terminal velocity.

MARISHA: I was trying to leave an impression. No pun intended.

MATT: You suffer 76 points of bludgeoning damage upon impact.

SAM: Of Jor-El damage.

(laughter)

MATT: (boom) This giant crater is left around your form as now there is this somewhat smoke-swirled Keyleth sprawled out in the center of this.

MARISHA: I drop, and I stand up, Keyleth, in the middle of a giant crater.

MATT: The rest of you all eventually catch up. The eagle-back carriers, you on broomback, finding your party bruised, hurt, but ultimately survived this moment of the encounter. As you’ve all had this moment to yourself, Vex, you hear a noise to your left coming from the exterior of the Bramblewood.

LAURA: Can I see what it is?

MATT: You glance off to the side, and you can see, emerging, slowly from the forest, a single humanoid standing before you.

SAM: Is he single?

MATT: No. You see, slowly coming forward, a woman. An older woman, an older goliath woman, missing one eye and missing her forearm– her left arm, right at the elbow. The right arm clutches a very tall quarterstaff that is being used as a walking stick as she wanders up. You can see dirt smeared in her face, darker dreadlocks pulled tight against the back of the head that dangle past the shoulders, tattoos similar to the ones that adorn Grog across the face and shoulders. She slowly walks towards the party. Let’s go ahead and bring our guest for the evening out. You can go around the other way. Let’s welcome Chris Perkins!

LIAM: Welcome, Chris, welcome!

TALIESIN: Is he coming to this side?

MATT: Right to the edge, next to you, Keyleth.

SAM: Do you know how to play this game?

CHRIS: Keyleth meteor, what?

MARISHA: Yeah, that’s me.

MATT: As she steps up and emerges from the forest, everyone turns and sees the worry on Vex’s face.

LAURA: (laughs) Vax pours a drink.

LIAM: It was very frightening.

LAURA: Halt! Who are you?

CHRIS: My name is Shale.

LAURA: What’s your business here?

CHRIS: I was following a scouting party out to the mountain. But these old bones don’t take me as far as fast as they used to.

TRAVIS: Do I recognize Shale?

MATT: You do, actually. Not very well. Shale has been around longer than you have as part of the herd, but is mostly considered past her prime as a warrior. Since she lost her arm, was set to the side, and a lot of the herd seems to not value their elders when they become less powerful in battle, but even still, she carries a bit of spit and vinegar to her. But it’s been a while since you’ve seen her, and to see her surviving out here, both curious and honorable.

TRAVIS: Shale.

SAM: Sorry. You’re still an eagle.

MATT: (caw)

TRAVIS: (caw)

SAM: Grog, do you want to say something?

CHRIS: I will brandish my quarterstaff, my rune-covered quarterstaff, and try to hold this big creature at bay.

MATT: Shale’s holding her staff out.

CHRIS: Stand down, bird!

LIAM: I love you! Let me love you!

SAM: All right, all right. I’ll drop the form. I’ll drop the form.

TRAVIS: Thank you, god. Shale.

CHRIS: Grog? Is that you?

TRAVIS: Yeah, it’s me. I know, you can’t tell.

CHRIS: You’re kind of a blur. What’s on your face?

TRAVIS: It’s a beard.

CHRIS: You’ve gotten big.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Lots of lifting. Lots of running, getting strong.

CHRIS: Last time I saw you, you were the runt of the goatball team.

TRAVIS: Oh.

LAURA: You were a runt, Grog?

TRAVIS: No, when I was born, she means. When I was born.

LAURA: Was he rather small?

CHRIS: He was puny.

TRAVIS: Puny compared to mountains and stuff.

ASHLEY: What’s goatball?

CHRIS: It’s a game you play. You stand on pillars of rock, and you hurl balls at each other.

LAURA: Made of goats?

CHRIS: Made of goatskins. Skins, my dear.

MARISHA: Sounds kind of fun.

CHRIS: The object of the game is to knock the other opponents off their pillars.

LIAM: That’s more civilized than what we were imagining.

TRAVIS: It’s a lot of fun, actually.

LAURA: Shale, what were you doing out here with a scouting party? It seems–

CHRIS: We were spying on the dragon. Damnable beast.

LAURA: Did you succeed?

CHRIS: No. The scouting team did not fare well.

MARISHA: Are any of them still alive?

CHRIS: No. They’re all dead.

SAM: How did you survive?

CHRIS: I was slow and stupid. I shouldn’t have gone at all. I couldn’t keep up with them. By the time I got to them, they were corpses.

SAM: You sound like an excellent addition to our team, then.

CHRIS: She says, I would have killed the dragon as soon as it came upon us, when we first arrived in Westruun, but that damn Kevdak formed an alliance with the beast.

LAURA: Wait, you think you can kill a dragon?

ASHLEY: Wait, what did you just say? Oh.

SAM: We knew that.

ASHLEY: Yes. Realized it as I was saying it.

CHRIS: That is how I wanted to die. Fighting the dragon.

MARISHA: It’s funny, we almost just died fighting the dragon. How ironic.

TRAVIS: We put a good hurting on it, yeah. Do you– I mean, not like I’m questioning what can you do, because I don’t think it’s very much.

MARISHA: I’m actually great. I’m just in a smoldering meteor and look like a badass.

MATT: Which caught your attention, the large, crashing boom.

CHRIS: That was it.

LIAM: I yank on Vex’s hand from down below and say, pick me up! Put me on your shoulder!

LAURA: What’s the matter? Can you not see anything down there? I pop Trinket out and put Vax on top of him. Don’t you feel so tall now?

LIAM: I am tall.

MARISHA: How much longer is he going to be tiny?

MATT: How long does the potion last?

LIAM: I rolled a three, so that’s three hours.

MATT: Yeah, three hours.

TRAVIS: Sweet.

LIAM: We have to decide what to do. He’s gone back to his hole. He’s going to rest. He’s going to heal.

MARISHA: I just have such a hard time taking you seriously right now. I’m so sorry.

TRAVIS: So you had to have been a part of this party for a reason. What’s in your bag of tricks? What can you do?

CHRIS: I smash things with my stick.

TRAVIS: With your stick. Does magic come out of your stick?

CHRIS: It is a magical staff.

TRAVIS: Oh, well, that’s good.

SAM: Yeah, we could use more of those.

TRAVIS: Is it a magical staff of dragon killing?

CHRIS: It will be if we get on with it.

TRAVIS: I like that.

LIAM: I like her, too.

MARISHA: So, Shale, did you and your scouting party find out any additional information that might be handy?

LAURA: Maybe how to get into the lair without it knowing?

MARISHA: What she said.

CHRIS: I know nothing of use.

LAURA: That’s wonderful.

LIAM: You never made it up to the cave entrance, did you?

CHRIS: I made it up to the dead ones. That’s as far as I got.

LAURA: How far were the dead ones?

CHRIS: A ways.

MARISHA: All right.

SAM: I hate to tell you this, but Kevdak is gone.

CHRIS: No great loss.

SAM: Your whole herd may have perished fighting this same dragon.

LIAM: Not all of them.

MARISHA: A lot of them.

TRAVIS: But it will all be worth it if we can remove the head of this shitty black dragon.

CHRIS: I agree.

LAURA: Plus, Zanror is still alive, as is his wife. I think.

SAM: Maybe.

MARISHA: We hope.

TALIESIN: Possibly.

TRAVIS: So, how far would you think that we are from his lair?

CHRIS: I’ll just crane my neck up the mountain.

MATT: It’s a sizable climb. Gatshadow– While this portion is the south part of the Cliffkeep Mountains, which get higher the further north you go, this mountain is called Gatshadow because it is dark and ominous and stands out amongst the rest of the mountains. While the other ones crest at about maybe 4,000 feet up, this one’s nearly a mile, a little over a mile high.

LAURA: Well, we can obviously fly.

MATT: There are sparse trees, most of them dead or dried out towards the top, but other than that the vegetation is pretty sparse.

TRAVIS: Look, I’m a little jacked up. I think those two are a little jacked up.

MARISHA: I could use a short rest.

TRAVIS: It’s fair to assume that he will do the same thing, yeah?

SAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Go brush his teeth, have a deuce, all that stuff.

MARISHA: We’re trying to catch the dragon while he’s still debilitated, right?

LIAM: The longer we wait, the harder it will be.

ASHLEY: What if I just heal everybody and we keep on?

SAM: Yeah, that’s great.

ASHLEY: I don’t want to lose the damage that’s on him.

SAM: Yeah, heal us and let’s keep going. Quickly. How long has it been, a minute? Two minutes?

MATT: Since you guys landed here? It’s probably been about two, three minutes.

SAM: We’ve got to move.

TRAVIS: Can we travel a mile up a mountain quickly?

SAM: We have eagles.

MATT: Even at your fastest pace, eagle speed…

LIAM: The broom and the two eagles at this point?

MATT: The broom is slower than the eagles. Eagle speed you’re looking at about– I’m estimating somewhere between ten to 20 minutes.

LIAM: That’s enough for a short rest for it. He’s not going to go back to full strength, but he’s going to go back up a bit.

LAURA: Would we know that?

MARISHA: We don’t know what he has access to.

MATT: You would know, being as dragons are your favored enemy, and you have information on that. Generally, they don’t– They themselves can recover over time, and if given a full day or so, they can largely recover from the wounds they have sustained almost entirely, especially a dragon as powerful as an ancient. You would know that, because they understand and fear their demise, or at least are arrogant enough to think it’s not possible, they will have certain reserves to try and help them recover if they ever find themselves in a dire circumstance. Occasionally, depending on the intelligence of the dragon and what resources it has at its disposal.

MARISHA: Reserves. What do you mean?

LAURA: Healing stuff?

MATT: Some semblance of healing magic, items they may have acquired that can help. The longer you wait, the more it can recover, is essentially what it comes down to.

LIAM: We need to go now. We need to go.

SAM: Should we mist form it there? Can we do that?

LAURA: That takes too long to think about.

MARISHA: I can get us there via trees.

SAM: But you’d need to know a tree that’s there.

MARISHA: I need to know a tree that’s there. I could Scry, look for the closest tree, teleport us there, but by the time I’m getting there, I’m exhausted.

LIAM: Are you able to see a tree from a great distance?

MARISHA: If I Scry.

LIAM: Not even by eyesight?

MARISHA: I mean, I guess I can look around and take a guess.

ASHLEY: I’m going to cast Mass Cure Wounds on everybody.

MATT: All right. Go ahead and do that. And Shale, you feel nice and warm at full health as the Mass Cure Wounds tickles you.

LAURA: Is your arm back?

MATT: Unfortunately, no. If only!

SAM: The temporary hit points never go back up, right?

MATT: Correct, no. They were just for that little bit of damage.

CHRIS: Lost it in an avalanche, I did.

SAM: Today?

CHRIS: No, turd.

MATT: The Scrying will take you about ten minutes or so.

LAURA: Are we going to Scry it or are we just going to go? How long would it take if we just flew up? 20 minutes?

MATT: That’s if you were all on eagle-back. Which you don’t. You have eight people, and you currently have two summoned eagles.

LIAM: Speed of the slowest.

MATT: Yeah, the speed of the slowest here, you’re looking at walking up the mountain.

MARISHA: Yeah. So I can teleport us closer and then walk, or we can take a very short rest so I can get my beast shaping back, and then could fly a few more of us. It’s a gamble.

CHRIS: You take your rest, love. I’ll start up the mountain.

MATT: Shale walks away and starts hiking up the rocks at the very base of Gatshadow.

TRAVIS: Can I just say that we agree that the reason we didn’t do what Zanror wanted and go to the lair is because it’s a fucking death trap?

SAM: Yes, but the dragon is injured now.

TRAVIS: But he’s going to heal up by the time we get there.

SAM: Not all the way.

TRAVIS: Pretty good.

LIAM: It’s still the best chance we have. We have to kill it now.

TRAVIS: In its lair?

CHRIS: It’s your destiny to fight the dragon, Grog.

MARISHA: Wait, what? What was that, Shale? Is that true?

CHRIS: No, it’s not true.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Everybody is healed 27.

CHRIS: It’s just a thing old women say.

MARISHA: Just let him believe it.

LIAM: Kiki, may I have my– Sorry. (higher voice) May I have my cloak back?

MARISHA: Oh, yeah, sure.

LIAM: Thank you. (flump, whoosh)

MATT: To attune to it will take you a short rest.

MARISHA: So are we resting?

MATT: That’s up to you guys.

LIAM: I don’t know. But I’m still putting it on.

TRAVIS: When I turned into the eagle, what happened to the Bloodaxe and chain?

MATT: Actually, you check, and the equipment that you have attuned to you and attached go into the form with you, so at this moment you realize, “Oh, the axe!” You look behind you, and it’s just been dragging behind you in the dirt, carving this path in the rocks and rubble.

TRAVIS: Yeah. That’s nifty.

MATT: Like a kid with a deflated balloon you’re just dragging behind you.

LAURA: Can I– well, I can’t sense anything about it with Hunter’s Mark, I just know where he is.

MATT: You know where it is.

LAURA: And he’s up in his lair.

MATT: He is up at the top of Gatshadow, somewhere in that mountain.

LAURA: Moving around, or is he chilling?

MATT: At the moment, seems chilling.

SAM: Let’s go.

MATT: Short rest or not, what are you guys doing?

MARISHA: How long would the hike up the mountain be? An hour?

MATT: It’s about a mile up. You’re looking at the better part of a day.

SAM: Oh, a mile up.

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: Unless we fly.

TALIESIN: What if we take shifts with the eagles?

MATT: Take shifts with the eagles? Back and forth?

TALIESIN: Eagles fly a group up, fly down, pick up another group and bring them?

MATT: Probably about an hour.

TALIESIN: But that’s an hour with a short rest for everybody as well.

MATT: If you’re going to do it that way, yeah.

LIAM: Half could rest at the top while the eagles fly back, and the ones at the bottom could rest.

TALIESIN: So there’s a short rest.

LIAM: Shifts of resting, yeah.

MATT: You’re still looking at about an hour and a half at that point, with people moving there and back and getting enough rest. You can’t short rest on the trip, and the short rest is about an hour, half an hour.

LIAM: Eagles drop off, they rest while the eagles return, and the people at the bottom rest while the eagles are making the trip, no?

MATT: Right, but you still have to have the eagles that went to the bottom to pick up the second team to get there, so you’re still looking at about an hour and a half to two hours.

LAURA: I could also use another spell and summon a couple more eagles.

SAM: Sure.

LAURA: I could summon two more eagles.

LIAM: That’s worth it.

LAURA: And that could get how many of us up?

LIAM: All of us up at the same time.

SAM: But one is just for Grog, right?

LAURA: But two more eagles would get all of us up?

MATT: It’s a concentration spell. You can only have one of it up at a time.

LAURA: It is?

MATT: Yeah. And it only lasts for an hour, and you’ve already been at this for probably about ten, 15 minutes.

LAURA: So they’re about to go away.

MATT: You have about another 40 minutes of the eagles.

MARISHA: So we couldn’t do round trips anyway. They’d dissipate.

MATT: You’d just have to recast it.

MARISHA: Well, yeah.

SAM: That seems like our fastest option. What’s the other option? A short rest and then we bamf.

MARISHA: We rest and then go. If we rest for 30 minutes, and then I switch and then we have the eagles, then we can get up in another 30 minutes, and then it’s an hour. Theoretically, short resting is our shortest.

MATT: You said you have Transport Via Plants, right?

MARISHA: I do.

MATT: If you wanted to Scry up that mountain and look at one of the trees at the top, you could do that. That would be, technically, the fastest way.

MARISHA: But then we’d still have to hike. How long would the hike be?

MATT: It depends on how close the nearest tree to the cavern would be.

SAM: Let’s do that.

MARISHA: I’m tapping myself– I can do it, but I’m tapping myself out. I’m burning literally all my top level spells and I have no beast shapes left. But I can do it. It’s what we think is most important.

LAURA: What if we use the eagles, send them up. Once they’re used up, they’re gone at the top, and then I’ll just summon two more and send everybody else up? Once the people make it up the top, that way it takes less time. A couple people hop on the eagles right now, because we only have a little bit of time left.

MARISHA: Can I rest? Can I rest while the first round goes?

MATT: Sure.

TRAVIS: We’re fighting a dragon in its lair! In the worst place we could possibly fight it!

SAM: We’ve also dealt so much damage to it.

MATT: Umbrasyl was looking pretty rough.

SAM: I fisted through it!

TALIESIN: He said looking pretty rough.

TRAVIS: That’s because he’s a liar and a bringer of death, and he is smiling at you while he does it.

TALIESIN: I know.

SAM: What are we going to do today with Chris Perkins? Talk, or go fucking kill a dragon?

TALIESIN: Would you like a tour of Whitestone? It’s really lovely this time of year.

CHRIS: I’m judging you!

LIAM: Grog, she’s right. It is your destiny.

TRAVIS: In your tiny voice.

LIAM: What are you laughing at?

LAURA: Everybody hop on an eagle.

ASHLEY: I hop on an eagle.

TALIESIN: Hopping on an eagle.

SAM: Well, no, half of the people hop on an eagle.

LAURA: Two of the halflings– two of the gnomes can get on.

ASHLEY: Scanlan.

SAM: I’m in back?

ASHLEY: Yes.

LIAM: I’m sort of a halfling. Can I get on too?

MATT: At your size? The three of you would probably be able to take one eagle, because you are tiny.

SAM: Oh, that’s right, he’s a little one.

LAURA: All right. You guys go.

LIAM: See you in a bit, sis! Bye, Keek!

MATT: So we’ll say, for the purposes of this, it’ll take an additional cast of your spell, so mark off a second casting of Conjure Woodland Beings. However, that brings– What level is that?

LAURA: That is level– Oh, good. Level three.

MATT: Conjure Woodland Beings?

LAURA: So I’ve got two level threes left. With my Pearl of power.

MATT: Conjure Woodland Beings is a 4th-level spell, Laura.

LAURA: I have Conjure Animals, not Woodland Beings.

MATT: Animals, there we go. Sorry, so yeah, that is 3rd-level. So yeah, mark off your second casting there. You guys manage to make a short rest between the journeys, making your way up towards the dark, blackened rock peak of Gatshadow. We’re going to take a short break here for restroom. We’ll be back here in a few minutes. In the meantime we have an awesome video from Backblaze to show you guys–

ASHLEY: Yay!

TALIESIN: It’s really cute.

MARISHA: It’s for you guys!

MATT: We’ll be back here in a few minutes guys, stay tuned for apparently the attack on Umbrasyl’s lair. See you in a minute.

Break
[break]

Part II
MATT: Welcome back, everyone. We’ve had a little break here. A quick announcement for you guys, the rebroadcast tonight will be delayed for about 30 minutes as we have to shoot something directly after this so we can all go home. So, if you guys are in chat after and folks are showing up going, “Where’s the rebroadcast?” Just let them know it’ll be around, about a 20-30 minute break between. We appreciate you guys carrying that thread over to them when they arrive. So we’ve had a break. If you wanted to use any of your hit dice to heal up during the short rest, now’s the time to do it. You’ve re-attuned to the Dragon Slayer Longsword. And just so you guys know, both Grog and Vax leveled up to 14 as well. Vax took a level of paladin during the short rest. Grog also took his 14th level as a barbarian. As a berserker, a lot of you know what that means.

SAM: I don’t know what that means.

LIAM: We’ll find out. I’d like to re-attune to the Cloak of Displacement. And the Boots of Haste, are they spent for the day for anybody? If I were to wear them, could I get the juice or no? They’re done?

LAURA: They’re too big for you, teeny.

LIAM: They would shrink to me. I’m going to re-attune my Keen Dagger, then, for the moment. So it’s Deathwalkers Ward, Keen Dagger, Cloak. Three items.

MATT: Okay. I’ll let it happen. Usually, you attune one item in a short rest.

LIAM: Oh, okay. No, I can do one.

MATT: I think it’s fine for this. You get attuned as you walk up the rest of the way. It’s fine.

TRAVIS: I’ve rolled all nine of my hit dice.

MATT: So you’re out of hit dice?

TRAVIS: Yes.

MATT: All right. Everyone else good? Ready to jump back in?

TALIESIN: Nope.

MATT: (laughs)

SAM: Does anyone need more healing? Are we okay?

MARISHA: Yeah, we’re good.

LAURA: And because I Conjured Woodland Animals, I lost my Hunter’s Mark.

MATT: Yes, you did, but you know loosely where it was.

SAM: All right, let’s hurry.

MATT: As you guys slowly make your way up towards the peak of Gatshadow, you all come to rest maybe, from what best you can tell, is the entrance cavern that Umbrasyl currently calls its home. Across this blackened, dark craggy surface, you see clumps of dead, petrified trees. Leafless, gnarled, and devoid of any life. There are signs of melted stone, soot. Long ago, there may have been a fire that claimed the top of this mountain and set its visual presentation that got its name. However, this is your moment, should you wish to make your way towards your conflict with Umbrasyl. How do you wish to prepare?

LAURA: I want to sleep for a day.

MARISHA: Yeah. I want to rock back and forth in a corner.

LIAM: I’d like to go stealth and I’d like to see– is there one clear, main entrance to this place?

MATT: There is a cavern opening.

LIAM: Yes.

MATT: There are a few small little inlets into the mountain at certain points, but the path that you guys land on that ends? You’re going to have to climb around the mountain to get to the entrance of this. There is no walk-up path. Actually, just an opening on the side of the mountain.

LIAM: So we’re further down still. We’re not near the entrance?

MATT: You’re about 400 to 500 feet away from the entrance.

LAURA: I’m going to cast Pass Without a Trace on all of us.

MATT: You stealth ahead and look a little bit and you notice the path comes to an end. You probably have about a hundred feet that you have to scale the side of mountain to get to the entrance.

LIAM: From where I am, I can tell that we need to climb around it. If I look very hard, do I see any little holes or cracks or anything above?

MATT: You see one other small entrance about maybe 60 feet below it, a little bit to the left.

LIAM: All right.

SAM: Pretty cool sound effects

CHRIS: It’s freaking me out.

LAURA: Is that your music?

MATT: That is not my music. That’s the atmosphere.

TALIESIN: Shale, Shale. The scouting party. Where did you find the bodies? Where were they left?

MATT: Which actually you– this was probably a couple hundred feet back. They made it near the peak. However, they were spotted upon the approach, and you heard the battle. The very short battle that ensued. Heard the screams of them, far from your eyesight.

CHRIS: I will have pointed them out, then.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: So that’s why I cast Pass Without a Trace on us.

LIAM: How far above our position is that smaller entrance–

(noise of hissing gas)

MATT: It’s all atmosphere, guys. I paid them to do it. I know. All right. Towards where the actual walkable portion of this mountain cliff ends, you have about 40 feet of scaleable wall, at an upward angle, before you can reach that small little inlet that you saw there. An additional 60 feet beyond that is the larger entrance where you saw, the best you can tell, Umbrasyl retreat towards– or exit before, when you were watching him emerge from the mountain. That’s it.

LIAM: What do you think? Do you think I should climb in that little hole?

LAURA: Do you want– say that again?

LIAM: There’s a main entrance above. But there’s also a smaller, little gap lower down. He cannot fit in there.

MARISHA: I can try and scry inside the cavern.

LAURA: See if it’s something that would be worth–

MARISHA: Get a battle perspective?

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: All right. You have to give me a few minutes. Is everyone all right with that?

LAURA: Can I use my ranger skills to try to camouflage us into the side of the mountain? To make us even more non-seeable? MATT: Yeah. Totally. So we’ll say for the purposes of that, anyone at this point who’d like to make a stealth check, to go ahead and keep yourselves hidden from any onlooking parties.

MARISHA: Natural 20.

LAURA: Add ten.

LIAM: Natural 20!

MARISHA: Hey!

MATT: Add ten for Pass Without a Trace.

SAM: 17.

TALIESIN: 24.

CHRIS: 22.

TRAVIS: 16.

ASHLEY: 29.

ALL: Whoa!

ASHLEY: What?!

(laughter)

LIAM: Why, I do declare.

ASHLEY: Well, I do declare I’m invisible.

MATT: The armored cleric cannot be seen.

(laughter)

LAURA: 32.

MATT: With Vex’s help, you guys manage to take bits of the mud, soot, and the burnt remnants of the once lush forest that dotted this mountainside, and darken your exteriors to help obscure the vision of anything that wished to pry, along with the magic drawing the shadows to your forms. You’re pretty confident that most of you would be fairly difficult to be spotted by most creatures.

LIAM: I would just like to point out that my complete total is 45.

ASHLEY: Of stealthing?

LAURA: Thank you. Thank you for pointing that out.

LIAM: Yes. It’s mostly for your benefit.

LAURA: I appreciate it.

MATT: That’s ridiculous.

ASHLEY and LAURA: How?

LIAM: Natural 20, plus my 15 benefit, plus Pass Without a Trace. Poof! (vanishing sound)

MATT: You’ve stealthed through time. People who had seen you previously in your past, have no recollection of ever actually seeing you.

(laughter)

LIAM: Marty McFly’s holding a photograph.

MATT: Exactly. All right. So, what’s up now?

MARISHA: I take a little of the soot, and I give myself some druid battle make-up.

MATT: There you go, just smear it.

LAURA: Yeah. Did you scry yet?

MARISHA: I’m about to.

LAURA: Okay. I do the same thing. I soot my face up, too. Let’s all make battle paint while she’s scrying.

TALIESIN: Absolutely not.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Pretentious asshole.

ASHLEY: I want to do a hand.

(laughter)

LAURA: I get soot on my finger and walk up to Percy and just put a line from his forehead down his face.

TALIESIN: I feel violated, but thank you.

CHRIS: I’ll ask Grog if he wants any soot on his face. I’ll walk over.

TRAVIS: I’ll put soot on your face if you come near me with that wicked, wicked staff of yours.

CHRIS: This is not wicked. It’s just a staff. It doesn’t even have a name.

TRAVIS: What?! How could you have a staff and not give it a name?

CHRIS: Only men name their things.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Yeah. My staff doesn’t have a name. It’s so true.

CHRIS: You know, if you kill this dragon, you’ll be the greatest goliath that’s ever lived.

TRAVIS: No.

CHRIS: Yes!

TRAVIS: Really?

CHRIS: No one else has killed a dragon of this size. Not among us. Not among the Herd.

ASHLEY: Grog.

TRAVIS: Pike killed a dragon.

CHRIS: Did you, now?

ASHLEY: Well, we all did. But it wasn’t this big.

LAURA: It was pretty small.

ASHLEY: It was pretty– it was a lot bigger than me.

CHRIS: I’m sure that experience will come in handy.

SAM: All right, let’s do this.

MARISHA: All right. I scry. I focus really hard on the dragon.

MATT: Okay. On Umbrasyl?

MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: Do you need any of his stomach bile to help you scry?

MARISHA: Sure! Can I have some of the– I scrape a little stomach bile–

SAM: Does that help? Does that help?

MATT: Well, here. Let me pull up the actual specifics for Scrying here.

CHRIS: This is going to go well, I can feel it.

MARISHA: Wait. He’s going to sense what I can scry, can’t he? Maybe I can just try and scry inside the lair?

MATT: It largely depends.

SAM: What do you want to do?

MARISHA: I mean, he knows we’re coming, yeah?

LAURA: Can you scry that little cavern to see where it leads to? Can you scry your mind up the cavern?

MARISHA: Yeah. Actually, can I do that? Like it’s a camera drone?

MATT: It’s more like picking a location, as opposed to an actual–

MARISHA: Sure. I want to try and focus on Umbrasyl’s whereabouts, but I want to see if I can get a nice bird’s-eye view of inside the cavern.

MATT: Okay. You are familiar with the target as you’ve done battles, that does adjust the saving throw for the scry. So, without further ado, what’s the DC of your spells currently?

MARISHA: 19.

MATT: 19. Hmm. As your eyes close, your vision projects itself beyond your form, beyond the craggy landscape of Gatshadow, out beyond the mountain pass that ends abruptly. Beyond the cavern entrance, you are pulled within the darkness. Suddenly, you find a little bit of light scatters across the damp stonework of the inside of this cavern. You see stalagmites. You see pools of murky, greenish-brackish liquid, ever so gently disturbed by the wind that curls in and out of this cavern. You see towards the back an elevated platform next to another pool, where a large outcropping of stone that has just slowly pulled itself out of the rock, nearly touching the very height of this cavern. You don’t see anything in there. All you hear is (low breathing sound).

SAM: He’s asleep.

CHRIS: (loudly) What do you see?

MARISHA: Ah!

(laughter)

MARISHA: Well, nothing now. That’s it? That’s all I see?

MATT: That’s all you see.

LAURA: Did you see Umbrasyl?

MARISHA: No, but I heard him. He sounds very rough, or possibly sleeping? I don’t know, there was a lot of heavy breathing. Very deep– not, you know, shallow breathing. Not impassioned breathing, Scanlan.

LAURA: Could he still be invisible?

MARISHA: He could I guess still be invisible. Also the cave was covered in acid pools and dark and dingy and everything else we would expect.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: I know.

TRAVIS: Let’s do it.

SAM: Okay. We’re going in the small hole or the big hole?

MARISHA: I don’t think he caught my presence. I don’t think he’s necessarily expecting us. We can have the element of surprise, here.

LIAM: Let me check out that hole on top. You guys can watch me do it.

LAURA: Go in the little hole, then.

LIAM: I’m little now. It’s a big hole. It’s quite big, actually.

LAURA: It’s roomy.

LIAM: I’d like to climb up to it.

MATT: Okay. Go ahead–

LIAM: Spider-sense tingling the whole time.

MATT: All right. So you manage to find bits of rock and pull yourself across the way. It’s not too long a distance but enough to the point where I need you to go ahead and make a basic strength check.

LIAM: 14.

MATT: 14. Okay. It’s hard and you feel part of your muscles build up lactic acid from the exertion, from the previous round with Umbrasyl and you not being necessarily the strongest individual of the troupe, but you do manage to scurry your way up to the edge of this small opening in the mountainside. Getting inside, you get a look: this hole continues for about 15 feet into the mountain before it ends abruptly. The only other thing you notice is there are currently four long-dead skeleton corpses within this hole. Perhaps some sort of mountain-climbing expedition or travelers that found their way there, and couldn’t escape. There are remnants of a small camp. Perhaps a small fire that is long iced-over through winters past. A layer of dust sits on everything and other than the occasional gust of wind that finds its way in here, largely undisturbed for a long period of time.

LIAM: I want to look through the remains.

MATT: Okay. You rummage through the remains. You find roughly 85 gold pieces amongst their corpses and spare change in silver and copper–

LIAM: I don’t take that.

MATT: Copper. The pennies of D&D. Poor things. Copper dragons everywhere are just so disappointed. You do find an oil lantern, climbing gear for four people, some long-spoiled rations. And you find a very moldy diary.

LIAM: I take out the Flametongue Dagger and give myself some light.

MATT: As you’re scanning through most of the pages that are still intact and not completely molded over or destroyed, it appears to be a journal that contains writings of what was an expedition to reach the peak of Gatshadow, because there was some sort of movement, some sort of activity up there that nobody could really discern. The rumors speak of some sort of creature that would stalk out in the night and steal mountain goats. (belches) Pardon me. Goats! Steal mountain goats, steal or find and kill anybody who lived in– there used to be a smaller village that lived north on the mountainscape that is now abandoned because of this creature the folklore of the time said supposedly lived at the top of the mountain. It speaks of the entrance, the place that Umbrasyl now calls the lair, and this leads you to believe that this is a fresh lair. Umbrasyl did not appear to always live within Gatshadow, but is only currently making it its lair at the moment.

LIAM: Is this a dead end? Does it look like it goes further in?

MATT: Make a perception check.

LIAM: By the light of my dagger.

MATT: Actually, this would be investigation.

LIAM: Investigation? All right. 20. No, wait– Yeah, 20.

MATT: 20. Feeling along the walls, you find elements of the rocks that are easier to break off than others, but this is predominantly the end of this cavern.

LIAM: It’s a cave. Okay. I tell my sister: it’s a dead end. It’s nothing. Coming.

MATT: So Vax finds his way back to the group.

SAM: It’s a dead end? Jesus. This ain’t going to be good. Shale, would you like to lead the way?

CHRIS: Yes. Now, I may not survive this. I’m quite old, and I can only see about 30 feet ahead of me–

LAURA: Well then, maybe she doesn’t lead the way.

(laughter)

LIAM: My sister and I should lead the way. You stick to Grog, will you, grandma?

CHRIS: I whack him.

(laughter)

MATT: (whack sound)

LIAM: Wait! I don’t get to dodge?

MATT: No. Because, unexpected, she is swift, and she is strong for being one-armed and of her age. The sting hits the side of your shoulder before you have a moment to really understand and your diminutive form is thrown about three or four feet back before you catch yourself.

TRAVIS: (laughter)

LIAM: I skitter off ahead of the group.

MARISHA: I cast Protection from Acid on Grog, again.

CHRIS: Now, if I don’t survive, loves, I do have some magic on me. So this staff has runes. You can scratch them off and magical things will appear! And this horn, if you blow it real loud, it will let out a tremendous thunder that could bring down the entire cave.

SAM: I don’t think you should be planning for your own death!

LAURA: I’ll take the horn.

CHRIS: It might explode.

SAM: It might explode?!

CHRIS: It’s a little unstable.

LAURA: Scanlan, you should take the horn.

SAM: She’s not dead yet!

LAURA: I’m saying when she dies. If she dies.

SAM: We’re not going to divvy up her stuff! That’s bad luck!

LIAM: She’s bequeathing it to you in her will.

CHRIS: And this pendant here, which looks like a dragon tooth, it’s a dragon tooth. And if you wear it, it will close your wounds.

LAURA: Could I insight check her? I feel like she’s lying through her teeth.

(laughter)

MATT: Make an insight check.

SAM: Maybe we should just kill her now and take the stuff.

LAURA: Natural 20.

MATT: Really? So, Chris?

CHRIS: I’m being super sincere.

LAURA: Oh. I really want all those things–

CHRIS: She honestly believes.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Shale, you seem almost like you’re–

CHRIS: My hide armor ain’t worth shit.

MARISHA: As I was saying, you seem like you’re almost expecting to die, or you’re looking forward to it?

CHRIS: Well, I’m very old. And if I could die fighting a dragon, well, there’s no better way to go. If I don’t die, great! Wonderful!

MARISHA: All right. Just checking that we wouldn’t disappoint you if you don’t die.

TRAVIS: Wait, just to be clear: if we kill the dragon, are you going to say you killed the dragon or would you say I killed the dragon? Who’s going to be the greatest goliath?

CHRIS: Why, you, of course.

TRAVIS: Yeah?

CHRIS: I’m past my prime.

TRAVIS: We’ll shake on it?

CHRIS: I will shake on it.

MATT: Which is easy because you put out the proper hand for the one arm she has.

CHRIS: You want to mess with her, put out your other hand.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Shale, what type of magic do you wield, exactly?

CHRIS: I wield this staff.

MARISHA: Okay. Very clear.

TALIESIN: This is going to be great! I’m on board and committed to this. This is very exciting!

SAM: Thank you, Shale. Let’s try to live.

MARISHA: So remember, acid pools everywhere. Do we have any type of cohesive plan, or just–

SAM: We’re just going to go in.

TALIESIN: Just be very quiet.

LIAM: I’m already looking for traps, looking for danger.

MATT: So you’re coming up to the entrance.

LIAM: I’m not going to go in the entrance, but I’m going to try to climb up and peer over the edge and look as carefully as I can.

MATT: Go ahead and make another strength check.

LIAM: 17.

MATT: You manage to climb your way up to the larger mouth of the cavern. It’s about 40 feet across at the very front of it. And about 50 feet up. It’s this large–

LIAM: 40 feet, 50 feet?

MATT: Yeah. And the rest of you guys? Are you pursuing?

SAM: I’m going to come.

MATT: Rest of you climbing along the mountain as well?

SAM: Wait, is that the way in?

TRAVIS: Is there anything you can do to make the dragon visible with his invisibility? Set fire, or your faeries?

MARISHA: I do have Faerie Fire. You combine the two things that you said and it’s fantastic.

TRAVIS: Totally meant to. Okay. I’m just climbing. I’ll follow them.

MATT: All right. Everyone who’s climbing, I need you to roll a strength check.

MARISHA: Wait! Who’s climbing where?

MATT: There’s no actual walkway to it.

LAURA: Does anybody want to ride the broom with me?

TALIESIN: I’ll ride the broom. I’m not a climber.

SAM: My Gloves of Swimming and Climbing, are those attuned items?

MATT: I don’t think they are, no.

SAM: I’ll put on my Gloves of Swimming and Climbing, which I got two years ago.

TRAVIS: 26.

MARISHA: 19.

SAM: I don’t know what they do.

MATT: Advantage on the roll.

SAM: Oh, great! 16.

MATT: 16? Okay.

CHRIS: 18.

MATT: 18. All right.

ASHLEY: 12.

MATT: Okay. And you’re floating up?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: All of you begin to shimmy across the surface. The wind is piercingly cold. The clouds up here are dark and there isn’t enough moisture to rain, but there are flashes of some sort of wild lightning storm that go off in the distance in the roiling clouds. As you’re making your way across, Pike, your foot skips across one of the stones, it breaks and falls beneath you and you almost lose yourself. Grog grabs you, and holds you in place, and pulls you back up.

ASHLEY: Sorry, Grog.

TRAVIS: Nobody saw anything.

ASHLEY: I thought I would be stronger, but I’m still not.

TRAVIS: You’re a champ.

LAURA: Wait! Aren’t you wearing the strength gauntlets?

ASHLEY: Yes, I am. That brought me to 12.

(laughter)

MATT: You all slowly make your way to the very mouth of the cavern. You’ve been at this point, as well. You wanted to go ahead and make an investigation?

LIAM: Scootching in, yeah.

MATT: All right, go for it.

LIAM: 24.

MATT: 24. Feeling around the exterior, there are two rocks that are nearly identical, placed at each side of the cavern entrance. Upon approaching, their texture and their weathered appearance is far younger than the rest of the stone around them, and that catches your attention.

LIAM: Do I need a further investigation check to discern their nature?

MATT: The nature is some semblance of a magical enchantment. This is a little beyond your understanding unless you want to try and roughshod it in the way you know how.

TRAVIS: Call me up to the front. We got this.

LIAM: Scanlan, do you want to grab that big…

SAM: Big what?

LIAM: Shale.

SAM: Oh, Shale.

LIAM: And yourself.

SAM: You got a trap up there, friend?

LIAM: Something. There’s rocks up here that look a little funky and I don’t think they actually are rocks.

SAM: Rocks? Hey Keyleth, you should go. There are rocks. You could do something with rocks–

MARISHA: I love rocks!

SAM: Yeah, I know. Go up there with Shale. Shale’s a rock. Go.

MARISHA: Okay. What’s happening? Where am I?

LIAM: Just come up a little bit slowly. There are a couple of rocks up here that look a little funny to me. Don’t step on me.

MARISHA: Oh right! You’re so tiny right now. I keep forgetting that.

CHRIS: You’re very brave for someone so small!

MARISHA: Do you want me to put you in a little pouch? Could be like a kangaroo?

SAM: We’re going to die!

LIAM: Another time.

MATT: As Keyleth and Shale approach the threshold that you’re currently standing at, the rest of you are a little ways behind. He points out these two stones. Go ahead and both of you guys make an arcana check. Shale, just from what you’ve seen in the world.

CHRIS: Right. 13.

MARISHA: I think like, seven. Pretty sure my arcana– It’s seven.

MATT: Oh, druids. You ascertain, Shale, just from stumbling upon such constructions, this is– There’s some sort of magical essence to these rocks. It’s old magic, which is the only reason you really recognize it. It’s not the hoity-toity-learned-in-a-tower magic all the stupid people in the world tend to learn. This is old magic. That’s all you were able to pick from it.

LIAM: You know what it is?

CHRIS: Old magic.

(laughter)

LIAM: Hey, dirty bard, could you come up here?

SAM: Oi! I’m here now. Sorry. I thought that the rock people could handle it.

LIAM: All hands on deck.

MARISHA: Scanlan, it’s a very pretty rock–

SAM: 11 on arcana.

MATT: It’s old magic.

SAM: This is old magic.

(laughter)

SAM: Not the kind you learn in those hoity-toity towers.

ASHLEY: What’s going on down there?

(laughter)

SAM: Can’t you just melt the rocks, Keyleth?

MARISHA: Pike, these are very attractive rocks. What does it look like?

SAM: It looks like a rock. Melt it!

MARISHA: No. What does it look like? Is it like a slate?

MATT: There are two stones about three to four foot in diameter that are almost matching, that are younger, less weathered than the rest of the stonework around them.

CHRIS: Is there any way to circumvent them? Or are they in opposite sides?

MATT: They’re on opposite sides. You could circumvent them, they’re not in your path.

MARISHA: I can alter their shape. I can melt, I can do something with them.

LIAM: No. Just, they’re not real. A few steps back. Trickfoot’s–

MARISHA: What do you mean, they’re not real?

ASHLEY: I walk up.

LAURA: Can you dispel that shit?

ASHLEY: Yes. Is it magic–?

SAM and CHRIS: It’s old magic.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Not the kind of magic you learn in ivory towers.

CHRIS: Older-than-me magic.

ASHLEY: That’s just old.

(laughter)

SAM: It sort of has that old smell to it.

LIAM: Hey, fuck it. I’m going to take a good, hard look at this rock.

MARISHA: Hang on. We might be able to circumvent it. Right? Can we go around it?

ASHLEY: I have Dispel Magic, but I wonder if we should use it.

SAM: Dispel that magic!

ASHLEY: But that’s one of my last spells!

LAURA: Well then, let’s avoid them. Let’s just go around them.

MARISHA: Is there room on either side of them?

MATT: They are embedded in the sides of the wall. So you could pass through them, over them, however else you want to try and circumvent them.

MARISHA: How about this? I’m going to cast Stoneshape, and can I carve out a little path around one of them, on the edge? Carve a little recess?

MATT: You can, yeah.

SAM: See? Rocks! I told you!

MARISHA: Rocks!

TALIESIN: Old rocks. Not the kind of rocks one finds in ivory towers.

MATT: Yes. Your 4th-level Stoneshape. You cause a portion of the rock wall at the side of the cavern to actually forge itself into a tunnel, circumventing the exterior rock on the left.

LAURA: Could you just do that the entire way into the cavern?

MARISHA: I can do it two more times. All the way into the cavern.

SAM: Okay. Let’s go through the new hole.

LIAM: I’m going to go ahead and I’m going to keep doing the same. Come on, you big giant dummy.

LAURA: I’m on a broom, do you want to ride it with me? Just kidding– Percy’s already on.

LIAM: I’ll stealth ahead and look around.

MATT: Okay. So roll your stealth check.

LIAM: A new stealth check?

MATT: Yeah, because you’ve come out of stealth and back into it.

LIAM: Okay. Well, I still have Pass Without a Trace, right? So I’m at 40.

MATT: So you make your way into the next portion. You’re actually able to start seeing–

TALIESIN: Whoa! Slowly!

LIAM: You people don’t see shit.

LAURA: Oh, that’s acid!

MATT: –in a raised platform, in a pool of somewhat pungent-smelling liquid as you get even remotely close to it, the fume causes your sinuses to open and burn and tingle.

LIAM: They barely get in.

LAURA: Yeah. (cutesy voice) It’s too small…

LIAM: I’m just going to hold still for a second and listen. Do I hear anything?

MATT: Make a perception check.

LIAM: 27.

MATT: 27? You hear a very faint breathing. Breathing that is trying to stay quiet, but by the sheer immensity of the beast creating the sound, you can pick up the very subtle movement of air through the normally still cavern. (faint breathing noise)

LIAM: I’m going to quietly take– I’m going to back up 15 feet. (whispers) For everyone who’s next to me, and for those who are not, it is in here. It is awake. And it is waiting for us.

CHRIS: What did he say?

LIAM: Pike. Don’t. Move.

ASHLEY: I’m so still.

LIAM: Just coming running to go when shit goes down, but don’t move.

TRAVIS: (whispers) What about putting her on my back?

LIAM: Grog, don’t move yet. I’m going to go back in for another look.

SAM: Alone?

MATT: Stealth.

LIAM: Well, yeah. I’m not a barbarian. I’m going to go along the edge closest to you and move back to where I stopped to listen.

MATT: About there would be in tandem with where you were.

LIAM: And I’m going to go another ten feet in, looking.

MATT: As he curls back, the cavern is revealed further. The pool does come to an end. There are pieces of stone that jut out of the floor. You do see now, scattered across the grounds, occasionally a bit of shine, a little coin– gold, silver– elements of wealth that’ve been dragged deeper into the cavern that have left behind them some remnants in the process of being carried and carted in.

LIAM: If I look back, can I see my sister from where I am?

MATT: Actually, no. Because she’s really well stealthed.

LIAM: She can’t see me either?

MATT: No. You guys have no visual perspective on each other. You’ve all stealthed away from your own party.

LIAM: Okay. There’s a pool of acid right by me, yeah?

MATT: Yes, there is.

LIAM: Is there dim light here?

MATT: The light grows dim at about this point, then it becomes darkness at about this point.

LIAM: But you said that I can see a pool of liquid, right?

MATT: Yeah. What little bit of daylight that’s coming in the cavern entrance would be over here.

LIAM: Is the surface of the liquid flat as far as I can see?

MATT: What you can see, it is flat. There’s a little, very faint breeze that occasionally comes through so there’s a slight disturbance here and there, but no specific visual disturbance.

LIAM: How far along that pool can I actually see? If you had to do a cut-off point?

MATT: Because of your darkvision, being an elf, you can see pretty much to the edge of this.

LIAM: Okay. So it doesn’t look like there’s a big divot?

MATT: There’s no displacement of the pool.

LIAM: I’m going to creep along the wall towards that pillar. I’ll stop in that corner, and then move towards you one. Does it give me a better view?

MATT: A little bit of a further view, just the cavern continues in that direction.

LIAM: Can I still hear the same thing?

MATT: You can hear it very faintly. You can’t quite make out the source. There is something about the room and the air that’s traveling through here. The sound itself, you’re just barely catching it and it seems to be reverberating to a small extent off the walls of this cavern, which carry sound very well.

LIAM: What do I see if I look up?

MATT: You look up, you see about 60 feet, 70 feet in the air, just past where your vision begins to fade– The only reason you know there’s a ceiling there is because there are a few points of rock, the top of the cavern does descend into stalactites– it is?

CHRIS: Stalactites, yes.

MATT: Yes. Thank you.

LIAM: There’s no large outcrops that this thing could be sitting on?

MATT: Not from what you can see, no. The mineral build-up of the inside of this cavern leads to a direct, slick surface in the walls. The minerals rounded off most of the stone.

LIAM: I’m going to backtrack. I’m going to find my sister. And I’m still very little. It’s at the back of that cavern. It’s not in the pool of acid that’s near the front, and it’s not just past that. It keeps going back. So if we’re going to do this, and we’re all just going to throw ourselves into it, and let the chips fall where they may. The best thing that I can do right now is take it unawares, hurt it for as much as I can–

LAURA: Are you kidding me right now?

LIAM: I’m not kidding you! I want to kill this thing. This is the first stepping stone, and I could potentially take it out. Catch it unawares before it vomits on all of you. I want to do it, and I just want to know that you’re going to come in after and finish it if you need to. I told you what I want to do.

LAURA: All right. I will give you a minute head start to get across the room. After that, I’m coming in. So you better hope you’re at the dragon by that point.

LIAM: I start off. Come back and tug. (whispers) Jenga.

MATT: Make a stealth check.

LIAM: I’m going back to where I was.

MATT: All right. What is it?

LIAM: With Pass Without a Trace? 43.

MATT: All right. So you’re back where you were. The rest of you, what are you doing?

CHRIS: Well, he’s a mad little one, isn’t he?

SAM: He’s not usually little.

(laughter)

LIAM: I’d like to go around the column, and around the edge of the wall.

MATT: This opens up slightly more, and you get to see a portion of the mineral growth– a lot of the moisture that has coalesced into the ceiling has come into a central point, and over time, it just built up these central columns of rock and natural materials. A few pools have gathered towards the base. You see portions of the ground where elements of the acrid liquid that filled the pool over here just dripped in. Whether they began this way or turned by the dragon’s presence, you are unaware. But that’s as far as you can see.

LIAM: Further along the wall, that little rock– yeah. And just a little bit past it. And then closer to you.

MATT: At this point, you can make out that additional pool of acid, the far back corner and a risen platform, you see the portion of the cavernous stone beginning to mass into a higher level towards the far back corner.

LIAM: I listen.

MATT: Roll a perception check.

LIAM: 20.

MATT: 20. You listen in… Silence. Stillness. The very faint whisper of wind far behind you.

LIAM: Around the entire wall. Further, past that pool of acid, even. Further corner.

SAM: Has it been a minute yet?

TALIESIN: About half a minute.

MATT: As you come around this corner, being as careful as you can, looking around you– (impact). Your shoulder hits something.

LIAM: Stab.

MATT: Roll initiative.

LIAM: I’m going to call it. I mean, mostly I’m 14. I’ll take it, that means 19.

MATT: All right. So you have just bumped into the currently invisible form of Umbrasyl lying in wait in the far corner of the cavern. That would be a 20 initiative from Umbrasyl.

LIAM: Fuck. You.

LAURA: How long has it been?

MATT: At this travel pace, it’s been about 45 seconds or so.

LIAM: Jenga!

(laughter)

MATT: You hear “Jenga!” out of the back of the earring as, let’s say the rest of you guys are right here.

LAURA: I still want to be stealthed on the broom but I take off into the cavern.

MATT: I assume Trinket is in your necklace?

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: All right. This is going to be you, with your big stick.

CHRIS: Awesome!

MATT: Chilling here with the rest of the party. So, at the top of this round, you just hear the growl, the snarl. (snarling) You say “Jenga,” blades already at the ready, you go to stab as (swooshing) all of a sudden, you hear this swishing sound of air being cut through at such a speed that it causes a high-pitched whine. Claws and teeth come spinning out of nowhere. You can’t even see your attacker but you feel the brunt force behind each of these blows.

LIAM: Because it’s invisible, is there no Uncanny Dodge?

MATT: No, you’ve still got Uncanny Dodge on one of the attacks. Just from your roguish instincts.

LIAM: Displacer Cloak.

MATT: Correct. It gets disadvantage on the first attack, which is going to be a bite. That’s a natural 19, and a two! With the two, that brings it to a 17.

LIAM: Nope.

MATT: So with that, you (whoosh) see for a split second, the ripple of teeth snap before you, missing your face by mere inches before they disappear once again. Two more claws (whoosh) towards you. The first one, that’s a 19 again and a seven. That’s going to be a 22.

LIAM: Just hits. Uncanny Dodge.

MATT: Oh, your AC would be 20 because you’re not hasted right now.

LIAM: Oh, you’re right. Thank you.

MATT: So that would put you at 18 points of slashing damage.

LIAM: Halved to nine.

MATT: Halved to nine. Also your displacement is gone from your cloak.

LIAM: For this round?

MATT: Yeah. For the next attack, it’s a 19. Misses you? 20? Yeah. The second claw swings through, at this point, from the pain of the first strike of the dragon claw hits you, you back up to the very edge of the cave and duck out of the way as you hear the wind change. As you do, you hear the stone crash behind you as the claw misses you, slamming instead to the side of the cavern wall. It’s now your turn.

LIAM: I’m going to stay right here. I’m going to hold my turn until one of my friends is on top of this thing and then I’m going to stab it.

MATT: You hold your action until one of your friends is on it and then you move? Okay.

LIAM: Not on it, but against it, attacking it. Melee attack.

MATT: So that ends your turn. Everyone else, I need you to roll initiative.

MARISHA: Oh, shitballs!

TRAVIS: Balls of shit.

MARISHA: Whoa! Percy!

MATT: Your initiative from before was–?

LIAM: 19.

MATT: So 25 to 20?

LAURA: 22.

TALIESIN: 30.

MARISHA: He rolled a natural 20!

MATT: (laughs) Percy!

LAURA: Are you on the broom with me still?

TALIESIN: Yeah. I’m hanging so I can drop.

MATT: So that’s 20. 20 to 15?

CHRIS: Another 19.

MATT: Another 19! Nice!

MARISHA: 17.

ASHLEY: 18.

LAURA: Nice, Pike!

MATT: So Pike then Keyleth.

TRAVIS: A mere 16.

MATT: Scanlan, what did you get?

(laughter)

SAM: I got an eight.

MATT: And Scanlan taking the rear. As you guys hear the crashing of stone at the far corner accompanied directly after the whisper of Vax’s cry-out of “Jenga!” you already know shit is going down. Percy, you’re up first. Clutching the bottom of the broom that has not moved yet, what are you doing with your turn?

TALIESIN: I’m going to drop down. I’ll let go of the broom. I’m going to just fire blind where I heard the noise coming from.

MATT: So you’re firing in this direction?

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: Go ahead and make your attacks at disadvantage.

TALIESIN: Disadvantage. That is a 25.

MATT: Due to the massive size of this currently still invisible entity, you do manage to catch an odd bullet towards its form. Go ahead and roll damage.

TALIESIN: Oh my god. Ten points of piercing damage.

MATT: All righty. (gunshot sound) Gun goes off, echoes, little bit of dust comes loose from the ceiling and falls down as you ready for your next shot.

TALIESIN: I’ll take the next shot. Forget it. Might as well go for it.

MATT: At disadvantage.

TALIESIN: That’s 20.

MATT: This time, the shot goes the second time (gunshot sound) poofs against some stone in the distance, not hitting its mark.

TALIESIN: Third shot for the run. Fucking–

MARISHA: Natural 20.

TALIESIN: And a one.

MATT: So with that, the third shot (click), nothing emerges from it. And you look down. It’s not been a day for Percy.

TALIESIN: It’s not been a day for Percy. I’m going to start making a dash into the corner there, up in the–

MATT: Not a dash, because you used your action.

TALIESIN: No, I’ll make a run. Yes, to the wall.

CHRIS: Is that some sort of weapon?

TALIESIN: Not anymore, it’s not!

MATT: As she takes her one good arm and cleans out, missing an eye now or maybe missing an eardrum. (laughs) That’s going to end your turn, Percy?

TALIESIN: Oh god, this is a terrible idea. I’m going to roll and hide behind that pillar behind me. If that’s okay?

MATT: This one, right here?

TALIESIN: Yeah. I’ve got to fix this.

MATT: That brings us to Vex.

LAURA: Yes. I’m going to fly on my broom as far in as I can. And land, maybe on that? And just shoot arrows towards where I heard it coming from. I feel like I have one blazing bowstring left, because I used it once in the last battle, right?

MATT: You would still have one more use, yes.

LAURA: Okay. Then I’m going to try it through the blazing bowstring.

MATT: Go for it. At disadvantage on this shot, as you cannot see the actual entity. You’re firing into the darkness.

LIAM: Natural 20. And another natural 20?

LAURA: Piece of shit! 19.

MATT: 19? Nope!

ASHLEY: Oh! War God’s Blessing.

MATT: Okay. As your reaction, you guide her– though the blazing bowstring was unfortunately used on the first attack that missed.

LAURA: That was just for the first attack. I rolled twice for disadvantage. So that’s the blazing bowstring.

MATT: Okay, I misunderstood. As you go for the attack, you see the actual arrow bursting into flames, not quite sure where to fire. You’re about to pull back and aim and Pike shouts to you, putting her hand out. Suddenly, a spark of divine energy hits the front of the bow and corrects its course, beyond your actual arm motion, and you release, based on the faith you have in Pike. The arrow strikes true. You hear a slight growling roar from the distance. Go ahead and roll damage.

PIKE: Strike good and true!

LAURA: 22.

MATT: 22, nice.

LAURA: On my first attack! If I release Trinket, is that an attack? Or is that a bonus action?

MATT: It would say in the actual item.

LAURA: Raven’s Slumber. You can make a melee attack. No, that’s not it. Bonus action to release it! I’m going to use a bonus action, and I’m going to shout at Trinket to go run towards my brother. I’m going to attack it again.

MATT: You send Trinket out, ten feet in front. Trinket is going to go– it’s 40 feet, right?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Trinket rushes forward there. You go make your second attack. Trinket goes: (angry bear growls) big old grizzly bear charging into the darkness, growling echoing through the cavern.

LAURA: Oh, disadvantage. 27.

MATT: 27 with disadvantage still hits, yeah. Your honed senses to dragon-kind, you can remember the mass, and general size and placement based on the sound you heard from the growls from the first impact you made. You just strike again in the same direction, hitting true. Roll damage.

LAURA: 12.

MATT: 12 damage.

LAURA: Is that sneak attack because my brother is next to it?

LIAM: It’s occupied with me.

LAURA: So I would have gotten the sneak attack on both those? Or just on the one?

MATT: Just on the one. Yes, I’ll allow it because he is currently threatening it. It was a lucky shot. It was a very lucky shot.

LAURA: Additional five.

MATT: All righty, good to know. So, total of–

LAURA: 17.

MATT: 17. Thank you. Both arrows done. Trinket rushing in–

LAURA: I want to duck down if I can, behind that whatever that I’m standing on now.

MATT: You can duck down, but you’ve used most of your action in this turn to sail in, and you can’t hide per se.

LAURA: Okay. I just want to duck behind it so I’m away from anything flying at me.

MATT: Makes sense. All right, so we’re now at 20. At this point in time, the roar hits (roaring), echoing through the cavern. As the echoing begins to vibrate and the noise doesn’t subside, the low hum turns instead to a (buzzing) as seemingly out of the pool of acid, a cloud of biting, stinging insects emerges.

MARISHA: He did Insect Plague.

MATT: (buzzing) Floats in this direction, getting the three of you right there. I’ll say for the purposes of this that you guys are both in that radius. Anyway, this cloud of insects moves in to– I need Percy, Shale, and Vex to make constitution saving throws.

CHRIS: Aw, eight!

TALIESIN: 21.

LAURA: 18.

MATT: 18. So you guys both, being dexterous and quick, but also able to maintain your form– the best you can at this turn– manage to pull out of the way without too much impact. However, poor Shale is surrounded by the insects.

CHRIS: Slow and half-deaf.

MATT: You take 12 points of piercing damage as the insects riddle you with bites and stings.

SAM: Shale, do you have any gold teeth or hidden savings accounts that we should also know about?

LAURA: She can’t hear you, she’s deaf.

MATT: At this point now, you hear a few footfalls, Vax. You see a splash in the pool next to you that almost scatters against you, bits of it hitting the edge of your armor, but the armor absorbs the blow, being attuned towards acid resistance. A few other steps as it begins to walk away. I’ll allow you to make an attack of opportunity with disadvantage–

LIAM: With disadvantage, but– Yeah, okay.

MATT: Yeah, as you sense that it’s moving away, you wildly swing out in front of you.

LIAM: Nah. 15.

MATT: 15. Whiffs on air. However, (heavy footfalls) moving forward. A voice comes roaring out into the area, “You dare soil my home after what you’ve done below?! I will watch you dissolve before I suck down your liquid forms!” I need Vex, Pike, Keyleth, Scanlan, and Percy to all make dexterity saving throws.

TALIESIN: Do I not have cover?

MATT: Not enough to prevent this. It’s a lobbed stream of liquid acid that comes and surrounds, corroding.

LAURA: Do we get advantage on any of it?

MATT: Not unless you have something that gives you advantage on him.

TALIESIN: I’m spending a Resolve because that was bullshit. Can I burn another Resolve? Goddamn it.

MATT: Nope. All right, so.

SAM: Can I use Cutting Words to buff my roll?

MATT: You use Cutting Words to reduce the damage.

SAM: But not to– That seems right, yeah. All right. 18.

MATT: 18, all right. Hold on, I’ll just double-check while you’re saying this. Just to bring up the ability.

SAM: I should know this.

MATT: It would have to be a damage roll, because there’s no attack roll. There’s no other roll incorporated on this other than the damage roll.

SAM: Got it. It just happens.

MATT: Right. But it reduces the damage roll, which affects everybody.

ASHLEY: Wait! I think I cast Resistance. I cast it on Keyleth, I cast it on–

LAURA: Me. And I think you cast it on Scanlan.

MATT: It’s faded since it’s a concentration spell.

TALIESIN: Scanlan’s got the armor.

MATT: Yeah. If you were to use Cutting Words on this, it would reduce the damage all of you would take from it.

SAM: All right, I will use Cutting Words to reduce the damage.

MATT: What are your cutting words, Scanlan?

SAM: My cutting words are, “Your lower intestine smells like shit!”

(laughter)

MATT: Go ahead and roll your bardic inspiration die.

SAM: A ten? Shit roll. Three!

MATT: So 18 saving throw. What was yours?

TALIESIN: Ten.

MATT: Keyleth?

MARISHA: 14.

MATT: Vex? One. Pike?

ASHLEY: Seven.

MATT: Seven. Okay, reduced by three, you all suffer 47 points of acid damage.

SAM: Including me, with my acid armor?

MATT: You take half of that.

LAURA: Aren’t you glad I gave you the armor?

MATT: You take 23 points of acid damage. After its long, angry, boastful diatribe, as it rears back to blow, your words confuse it, and the spray seems a little off-center than what it intended. However, most of you are now currently dealing with the searing pain of the acid pressed against your bodies. Ending that turn, Vax, you’re up.

LIAM: Did I see where the ejection of acid came out from?

MATT: You did. It came from there, this area.

LIAM: Am I still at a disadvantage even though I saw right where that crap came out?

MATT: Correct. Because you don’t know if it moved away or not. You don’t know exactly where it is. You just know it’s somewhere in that vicinity.

LIAM: I’m going to throw two daggers at it. I hope that Trinket’s near it, but we’ll see. So, at disadvantage. Bollocks! That’s 15.

MATT: Nope.

LIAM: 22.

MATT: 22 just hits. Trinket, however, is actually adjacent to Umbrasyl. So you could do sneak attack damage.

MARISHA: Whoa! What’s up?

LIAM: Keen Dagger. It’s 26.

MATT: 26. All right. So one dagger just vanishes into the darkness. The other one sticks into the hide for a second before disappearing in a plume of smoke, reappearing at the side of your belt. You hear a low (snarling grunt).

LIAM: Can I use my movement to go along the back edge of the cave as far as I can? Directly opposite from my family.

MATT: All right. Looking at the rest of this cavern–

LAURA: Look at all the gold, hiding over there!

MATT: There is what seems to be the majority of the funds that were gathered from Westruun, and whatever else of the previous dragon’s hoard have currently been brought over to the new lair. Who knows how much has been–

LIAM: I thought that was his magic healing spot, but I guessed wrong.

MATT: So, that end your turn?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: All right. Now it comes to Shale.

CHRIS: I’m with insects, right?

MATT: You are currently surrounded by stinging, biting insects.

CHRIS: Okay. I will stride forth. I’m slow and old. I move 20, so I’ll use all my movement, 40, to advance.

MATT: There you go. You come pushing through, brushing them off with your stump and your staff, waving it in front. Angrily growling, you come to rest at the side of this one pillar that juts out of the ground, with Vex right above you.

CHRIS: I’ll dimly look into the darkness and see if I can see, hear, or there’s just gray mist in front of my eyes right now.

MATT: You can’t see anything. But you do hear right in front of you a growling, snarling bear. You see elements and flashes of the bear that you saw Vex summon forth from her throat.

TRAVIS: And the dagger disappeared into something, right?

CHRIS: All right. But I can’t hear the dragon? At all? It’s stomping around.

MATT: It’s stomping around a little bit. You saw where the actual projectile came from, so you know it’s somewhere in this vicinity.

CHRIS: Well, you’re not very brave, are you? Invisible! Hiding! Afraid to show your face? Taunt it. Oh, bollocks!

(laughter)

CHRIS: Well, that would be a nine.

MATT: A nine. You hear, slowly curling out from the darkness ahead of you, “Bravery means nothing. Survival and victory mean everything!”

CHRIS: Oh, shut up, you flying suitcase!

MATT: And that’s how you end a round. Pike, you’re up.

MARISHA: Oh, it’s something my grandma would say. So good.

ASHLEY: Yeah. I’m going to hold my action and I’m going to backpack onto Grog.

MATT: Okay. So you move over and leap up onto Grog’s back, holding tightly. What’s the trigger for your action that you’re holding?

ASHLEY: On his next attack on somebody.

MATT: The next time you sense the dragon is attacking somebody?

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: All right. What action are you holding? Is it a spell?

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: So you begin preparing the spell. You are now concentrating on it, as you’re holding the back of Grog. Okay. Holding that bit, that brings us to Keyleth. What are you doing?

MARISHA: If I move through Insect Plague, will I take damage? Or is it if I end in it?

MATT: You don’t know.

CHRIS: I seemed to waltz through it.

MARISHA: That’s true. You waltzed through it. And you didn’t start in it, did you?

CHRIS: I did.

MARISHA: Oh. But you took the damage up top, you didn’t take damage again after you got out of it. All right. I want to see if I can move. I’m having a hard time seeing, Matt. Can I get my full movement of 30 feet into this corner here?

MATT: Over here?

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: You’re going to get up around there, unless you want to try and go over the top of the rocks. That way is going to require a climb check.

MARISHA: Oh really, I can parkour it? Yeah!

MATT: All right, go ahead and make a strength check.

MARISHA: 14.

MATT: Yeah, it’s not too hard. You ran up, grab, leap over the side. You can get right there.

MARISHA: Oh, okay. I think the dragon is roughly here?

MATT: In this vicinity. You can see Trinket is currently snarling and lashing out and biting in this area of the cavern.

MARISHA: I’m really sorry, Grog. I’m going to cast Faerie Fire, roughly– Yeah, somewhere where I think he is.

LAURA: Why is that bad?

MARISHA: Means you don’t have acid resistance anymore. It’s a concentration spell. But none of us can see him, yeah.

MATT: All righty. So, Faerie Fire. You guys watch as suddenly, this burst of somewhat violet-ish blue light, like a small, tiny explosion of glitter and starlight just hits the area and outlines the entirety of the large dragon Umbrasyl.

MARISHA: And with my bonus action–

MATT: Yeah, failed saving throw.

MARISHA: Damn right, he did. With my bonus action, I’m going to go into my–

MATT: Actually, you know what?

MARISHA: He’s going to do his thing, isn’t he?

ASHLEY: You know, you don’t need to.

MATT: Yeah, I do. Third and final legendary resistance. You get a glimpse of where Umbrasyl is and then the magic dissipates. Umbrasyl vanishes from sight.

SAM: Shit.

TALIESIN: You’ve burned his third legendary action. You’ve burned it. It’s gone.

SAM: Matt, did it also negate my disadvantage from Cutting Words, on the save?

MATT: He can succeed automatically. It’s a choice to succeed.

SAM: Balls. So that’s dead, too?

MATT: Nope.

SAM: Does he use the legendary action before he fails?

MATT: No. That’s true. Yeah.

SAM: So it kills that too?

MATT: It does, yeah.

SAM: Nice. No, my thing’s dead too. He double-fucked us.

MARISHA: Great. Fuck you, asshole!

LAURA: He doesn’t save it like that?

MATT: Well, no. Essentially he rolled at disadvantage to make the saving throw. Failed it. And then decided to succeed using legendary resistance.

MARISHA: Okay. But it’s gone! They’re gone.

ASHLEY: They’re gone, gone?

MATT: As far as you know, from previous experience with dragons, there are no further uses of its legendary resistance.

MARISHA: What a dick.

MATT: Does that end your turn, Keyleth? It’s a level one spell, you still have more up your sleeves if you wanted to try it later.

MARISHA: I know. I don’t think I’m going to go into my beast shape form so I can do another spell next turn. Can I just tuck and see if I could take a bonus action to hide in this little nook and cranny here?

MATT: You can’t use a bonus action to hide, unfortunately.

MARISHA: Because I’m not a rogue?

MATT: Because you’re not a rogue. Sorry, girl.

MARISHA: Can I hug that pillar and say, (panting)?

MATT: You can totally do that. And you are currently hugging in the pillar going, (panting). At the end of Keyleth’s turn, it’s going to use two of its legendary actions to wing attack. It’s going to beat its wings, everything within 15 feet, which right now would only be Trinket, has to go ahead and succeed on a dexterity saving throw. Go ahead and roll a dexterity saving throw for Trinket.

LAURA: I’m going to roll the brown dice for Trinket. Dexterity? 12.

MATT: 12. Okay. So Trinket takes 15 points of bludgeoning damage–

LAURA: He’s resistant to bludgeoning!

MATT: Because of the armor?

LAURA: Yes!

MAT: So takes seven points of bludgeoning damage. However, he is still knocked prone from the blast of wind that whooshes through the entirety of the cavern, causing dust to raise up. The cloud of insects gets shifted a little bit before having to reform back into its place from the sheer force. In doing so, suddenly, there’s a rush of air, and two giant slamming sounds, as feet have placed themselves right up front with Shale and Vax. Vex. I’ve got a lot to concentrate on.

SAM: When I die, I’m coming back as a character named Vix.

MATT: Then you can find another Dungeon Master. All right, so that ends Keyleth’s turn. Grog, you’re up.

TRAVIS: I take the tiny Pike backpack, and I would like to run along the right, the farther wall from you. Opposite direction.

MATT: This way?

TRAVIS: Yes.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: 50 feet, using diagonals to try and get as far around that pool as I can.

MATT: That’s about as far as you can get there. So that’s movement with Pike on your back. So, that’s your movement?

TRAVIS: Yep. And I’ll use my bonus action to go into a rage.

MATT: All right. (growling)

TRAVIS: Hey Pike, gimme a slap!

ASHLEY: (slap)

TRAVIS: (growls)

MATT: Sends you into the rage. You still have your action. Anything you want to do?

TRAVIS: Nope.

MATT: Are you holding your action for any particular thing?

TRAVIS: Well, I can’t really hit him from here.

MATT: All right. That ends Grog’s turn. Scanlan, you’re up.

SAM: I can’t see him, right?

MATT: Not from what you can tell, no.

SAM: Balls. I can see Vex, right? And Shale? Oh, shit. I can’t do much without seeing him. Oh, here’s what I will do: I’ll start by inspiring Shale. I will just step out and sing, (singing) And I will always buff you! And then I will pick a place and cast Stinking Cloud.

MATT: Okay. You take your d10 inspiration die.

CHRIS: Excellent.

MATT: And Stinking Cloud. Haven’t seen that in a while.

SAM: No! Oh well, it’s too late, I already said it.

MATT: Stinking Cloud. Where are you setting it?

SAM: Can I have a pointer? Well, I’ll just come over. Right here.

MATT: Right there? All right. We’ll put this over here to keep track of the Stinking Cloud, we’ll just know the insects are in this vicinity as most people have passed beyond it. With that, Umbrasyl is going to attempt a constitution saving throw. Three plus 14, that’s a 17. What’s the DC?

SAM: 20.

MATT: All right. That will technically be at the start of its turn, but we will carry that over. All right. The cloud appears in this space. You can already hear (coughing). Are you going to move or stay where you are?

SAM: There’s no more cloud of insects, yeah?

MATT: It’s still in this vicinity.

SAM: Is there any way to avoid it? Move up to where Kiki is or anything?

MATT: Yeah, if you want to make a strength check to climb.

SAM: All right, I’ll do that. I’ll move up to where Kiki is. 17.

MATT: 17. Yeah, you actually hopscotch up, leap over Percy and get up on top next to her over there.

SAM: Oh, Percy! Didn’t notice your bald spot there.

TALIESIN: It just grows in lighter.

SAM: Sure.

MATT: All right. That ends your turn, Scanlan. With that, it’s going to use its third legendary action this turn to attempt a tail attack against you, Vex.

LAURA: Thank you.

MATT: You’re welcome.

LIAM: That’s Vix.

MATT: I will stab you. That is a 19 to hit.

LAURA: Nope. 20.

MATT: 20! With that, you dodge out of the way. You feel the impact of some large, heavy slam onto the stone right next to you. Pieces of it break off, and then withdraws, barely dodging it in time. All right, that ends–

ASHLEY: Since he made an attack, can I?

MATT: Yes, you can.

ASHLEY: I would like to Command him to be visible. Reveal himself.

MATT: What’s the word?

ASHLEY: Reveal! Appear!

MATT: Appear. There you go! Oh, that’s cocked. All right. That is a19 plus 11. I’m pretty sure it makes the save.

ASHLEY: Fuck you!

MATT: Sorry.

ASHLEY: Do I still get a bonus action?

MATT: That would’ve been during your turn. You can only hold your action.

ASHLEY: (snarls frustratedly)

MATT: Good try. Brings us to the top. Percy, you’re up.

TALIESIN: Oh god! Okay, I’m going to take a second to try and pray that my second gun doesn’t break because that’s going to get really ugly! And it doesn’t! My gun is fine.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: My gun is fine. But that’s it. I’m going to start running straight down, as far as my legs will take me. Not that way, towards the pool.

MATT: Towards the pool?

TALIESIN: Right there. Oh no, that’s the insects, that’s right. So, yeah.

MARISHA: As long as you get out of it.

TALIESIN: I’m going to roll around to the stone to the right, then. As far as I can go.

MATT: You can get there. You’re outside of the insect cloud, not a worry. As you’re running, you’re cleaning it, polishing, loading it. Okay, looks good.

TALIESIN: Oh, yes. I’m going to spend my bonus action to do a quick heal.

MATT: Okay, your Second Wind?

TALIESIN: My Second Wind.

MATT: Go for it.

TALIESIN: Oh, god. That was awful. That’s okay. So, yeah. Good. You can move on, sorry.

MATT: Okay. Vex.

LAURA: Do I have any kind of sense of– Ugh, your Stinking Cloud is right there.

MATT: Yeah. You do see some elements of the cloud are displaced in places. It’s not showing you exactly where it is, but you are aware that the entity of Umbrasyl is directly in front of Shale, and nearly directly in front of you.

MARISHA: Enough to negate the disadvantage?

MATT: No. Not to mention the fact that you are technically in its melee range. So any of your ranged attacks–

LAURA: Are at disadvantage again, right?

MATT: Unless it’s five foot. Is it five foot, or is it melee? Trying to remember. I think it’s five feet. But regardless, it’s close to you, it’s bad news.

LAURA: If Trinket gets up, does that use any of my stuff? Trinket can move freely–

MATT: Trinket can move independently of you.

LAURA: So Trinket is going to get up.

MATT: It’s half-movement, yeah.

LAURA: And he’s going to bite Umbrasyl’s tail to try to distract him, so I can run between his legs.

MATT: Okay. So Trinket’s going to go ahead and– roll a perception check for Trinket.

LIAM: Trinket, snack attack!

LAURA: Oh, he’s got a keen sense of smell, so he’s got advantage on smell perception.

MATT: But there is a Stinking Cloud right there. Roll again. We’ll see if Trinket can discern between–

LAURA: Well, I rolled a 15. And I don’t know what I add to it.

MATT: That would be Trinket’s wisdom–

LAURA: –oh, perception, seven. So 22

MATT: 22. Okay. Trinket (bear sniffs and growl) runs past here, but can only make 20 feet of its movement because he used the rest to get out of prone. However, strafes aside and begins reaching out and starts snapping, so you want to give Trinket–?

LAURA: He’s going to attack him.

MATT: Okay. As part of your attack action? Is that what you’re doing?

LAURA: Yeah, I’m going to have Trinket do one of his attacks so I can move and run.

MATT: As your bonus action on it? Okay, go for it. Have Trinket roll for an attack. With disadvantage because it is invisible.

LAURA: That doesn’t count? I feel like it still counts, though. It’s only 15.

MATT: 15. Trinket slashes out in the air. With the obfuscation of the Stinking Cloud and the invisible dragon, Trinket’s just getting mouthfuls of air.

LAURA: What does Stinking Cloud do to me?

MARISHA and SAM: Makes you sick.

LAURA: Fuck. I try to run away. I try to run around and run past Umbrasyl.

SAM: You’re not in the cloud.

LAURA: But I would go through it if I tried to run between its legs. I’ll just try to run along to the side.

MATT: On the broom, still?

LAURA: Sure! Why the fuck not?! I’m on the broom. Does it matter?

MATT: I mean, that will give you a little more action, you just can’t attack from the broom because you’ll have disadvantage on your attacks since you haven’t finished your set-up yet.

LAURA: Jesus. I just want to run, on the broom, and use my bonus action. Is that as far as I can get?

MATT: As far as you can get on your regular feet.

LAURA: On my broom, though?

MATT: There.

LAURA: And can I use my bonus action to hide? Can I try to hide?

MATT: You are completely out in the open. You have no way of hiding right now. You be can like, “Hide! You don’t see me!”

LIAM: You can dash and get further away.

LAURA: I’m going to dash and I’m going to get further away.

LIAM: Rogue bonus action? Hide, dash, disengage.

MATT: Yes, you can.

LAURA: Yeah! I’m going to hide behind those things.

MATT: There?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay, you can get there. However, as you rush by, Umbrasyl does get an attack of opportunity on you. He’s going to make a bite as you rush by. That is going to be a 30 to hit?

LAURA: I think that hits.

MATT: All right.

ASHLEY: Isn’t it at a disadvantage since he’s in smoke?

MATT: Huh?

LAURA: Because he’s in farts?

MATT: No. That’s not quite what it does.

(laughter)

MATT: Oh, that’s a d10. Sorry. You take 25 points of piercing damage. Plus an additional eight points of acid damage from the inside of its mouth.

LAURA: Cool. Tight, tight.

MATT: A total of 33 points of damage as you rush past. All right, that ends your turn, Vex?

LAURA: Oh, that it does.

MATT: All right. The insect cloud fades away, insects just dying off and dropping to the ground in piles of currently twitching insects. However, the acid pools suddenly begin to rumble and expand and reach out.

LAURA: I’m glad I hid by another acid pool.

MATT: Any creature within 20 feet of the pool has to make a strength saving throw. So that will be Shale, Grog, Pike and Vex.

LAURA: Yay.

CHRIS: Five!

SAM: You have inspiration, if you want to use it.

ASHLEY: What are we rolling for?

LAURA: A strength or a dex saving throw?

MATT: Strength.

TRAVIS: 23.

MATT: 23, good to know. Pike?

ASHLEY: 21.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: 13.

MATT: 13. And? Five. All right, so you guys both manage to, as the pool swishes out and comes up to your knees, Grog, and you just pull back and lean against the wall. As the pool subsides back, no immediate effect. Just barely manages to catch you. However, both Shale and Vax are pulled 20 feet into the pool–

LAURA: Vex.

MATT: I’m sorry. Vex. I keep saying it now. Over and over again. Pulled into the actual acid pool.

LAURA: It’s like adding insult to injury. You’re going to die and I’m going to call you your brother the entire time.

MATT: Yep. I’m sorry about that. You both are knocked prone and pulled into the water. Because it is an acid pit, you both also suffer 12 points of acid damage. Both Shale and Vex.

MARISHA: That’s a thing that can happen. All right.

MATT: All right. Now Umbrasyl, who failed the saving throw–

SAM: Gets to spend his entire turn coughing.

MATT: I can’t believe Stinking Cloud worked.

SAM: Spends his entire turn.

MATT: The creature spends its action retching and reeling.

LIAM: I hope he coughs his innards out the hole in his gut. Dragon hernia.

MATT: Yep. So the action is spent, the dragon is just (coughing), which is good because it rolled a five and got its breath weapon back. But it can’t use it this turn because it’s coughing and “You– I will– ” It rears back, about to spit the acid before (coughs) and bits of it come streaming out of the nose, like the milk-in-the-nostrils thing except for it’s acid. That’s the dragon. Okay. That ends its action. It is going to move out, see if it’s– I forgot to roll concentration for the Invisibility on the last attack that happened. I just rolled a one. With that, it appears once again on the map. The Invisibility spell no longer there.

MARISHA: Oh, thank god!

LAURA: Now we can watch it kill us.

MATT: It’s going to stomp over, out of the cloud, right there.

SAM: Does Trinket get an attack?

MATT: He does, actually. Go ahead and roll for Trinket.

LAURA: Yeah, he does! I don’t know which one to roll here. They’ve all been betraying me. 17.

MATT: 17? That misses. Or it hits and Trinket’s claws streak across the back of the dragon’s hide. No damage sustained. But good job, Trinket. All right, so– LAURA: He’s trying, man. He’s out. He’s so brave.

MATT: He’s doing great. Vax, you’re up.

LIAM: Okay. I’m going to dart out behind the pillar of stone there. And I’m going to chuck a dagger at it.

MATT: All right. What’s the far range on it?

LIAM: 60. I’m a Sharpshooter, so there’s no disadvantage.

MATT: He’s out of range.

LIAM: Then I’ll move closer. I mean, I know how far I can throw a dagger, so I want to get up close enough to be within range to throw a dagger.

MATT: Still can’t get close enough, not with your full movement. You can move 30 feet.

LIAM: Where are you? You’re in the acid?

LAURA: I am in the acid.

LIAM: Oh! I’m going to go to my sister, I’m going to drag her out and I’m going to pop the one healing potion I have down her gullet.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: I’m going to pull her behind, so we’re both behind that pillar.

MATT: Okay, so you pull her behind the pillar. You go ahead and feed her the healing potion. That is your turn. He dragged you out of the acid pool.

LIAM: Potion of greater healing.

MATT: All right, so that is a 4d4 plus four healing to you. That ends Vax’s turn. Shale, you’re up.

CHRIS: All right. I’m going to stand up if I can and make my way back onto firm rock. Do I take any damage when I start my turn?

MATT: You do, actually. You take six points of acid damage. You’ve now stepped up right there. The dragon is fully visible to you.

CHRIS: Pick on someone your own size! And I whack him on the derriere with my staff.

MATT: Go for it. You have three attacks, correct?

CHRIS: The first one is a very sad 14. I’m not going to waste the d10 on that.

MATT: Across the hide, no damage.

CHRIS: Oh my god!

MARISHA: No, Chris, no.

SAM: Inspiration?

CHRIS: Natural one.

MATT: As a level 13 fighter, don’t you get a third attack with your action?

CHRIS: What’s that? Oh, yes, you’re right. That one, I rolled a 19. I will spend the inspiration die and turn it into a 26.

MATT: Okay. Roll damage with the quarterstaff.

CHRIS: I do 11 points of whacky-whacky damage and try to bait this thing into turning on me.

MATT: Okay.

CHRIS: I will also use my second wind.

MATT: All right. Go for it.

CHRIS: To regain 15 hit points.

MATT: 15 hit points to you, go for it. Ending Shale’s turn, that brings us to Pike. But at the end of Shale’s turn, the dragon is going to use a legendary action to attempt a tail attack against you, Scanlan, as you are the source of the Stinking Cloud that caused it to cough. It goes, (growls) “Foolish bard, get back into my stomach!” And as it whips around, its tail comes streaking overhead and it rolls a natural one!

(cheering)

MATT: As it spins around, that’s when your staff actually hits the back of its hide. As it does, it gooses it a little, in a sensitive place, and the tail arcs strangely and slams into the stone, next to you, missing you by about six inches.

SAM: Ah! Great. I’ll take it.

MATT: Pike, it’s your turn.

ASHLEY: All right. (sing-song) I’m going to Guiding Bolt him right up the butt!

(laughter)

MATT: You’re in the position for it.

ASHLEY: Yep!

MATT: What level are you casting Guiding Bolt?

ASHLEY: Third.

MATT: Third level on Guiding Bolt. All right. That will put it at 6d6. So go ahead and roll a spell attack.

ASHLEY: Natural 20.

MATT: Go ahead and roll 6d6 and we’ll double it.

ASHLEY: And double it?

MATT: It’s a critical hit.

ASHLEY: I’ve never done that before!

CHRIS: Right up the butt!

MARISHA: Monstah! Kill him!

LIAM, TALIESIN, and MARISHA: Kan-cho!

ASHLEY: Oh my god, 24! One more! So, 50 points.

MATT: 50 points of radiant damage right up Umbrasyl’s posterior. Suddenly as Pike, still clutching onto the back of Grog, you reach and grab the symbol of Sarenrae, leaving your sword to the side of your sheath, hold it forward. And as you do, you concentrate, a glowing beam of radiant energy shoots forward just as Shale knocks the backside of Umbrasyl. The tail streaks overhead to hit Scanlan, leaves you a nice, direct shot right at the dragon rump. There’s a dull (impact) sound, and Umbrasyl sits straight up for a second (confused noise, explosion) as there’s a burst of divine, explosive energy right in the posterior (painful growl). Looking back, there’s now a shiny glow, pulsing from the back of Umbrasyl’s body. And the next attack has advantage against Umbrasyl.

ASHLEY: Still alive!

MATT: That’s your action. You still have your movement and bonus, if you want.

ASHLEY: Okay. I think I’m going to stay, and then bonus action, I’m going to throw up a Spiritual Weapon.

MATT: Okay. Where do you want your Spiritual Weapon to go? What level is Spiritual Weapon, Second level? Yep.

ASHLEY: Yeah. A really large meathook.

MATT: All right. Where are you setting it?

ASHLEY: Right at his back.

MATT: All right. Sitting right there at the tail of Umbrasyl, this giant, glowing, radiant meathook appears and makes its strike. Go ahead and make your spell attack against Umbrasyl.

ASHLEY: 27.

MATT: All right. That hits. Go ahead and roll damage. It’s a 1d8 plus five.

ASHLEY: Ten.

MATT: Nice, all right. Going to stay where you are? Or you going to move?

ASHLEY: I’m going to stay with my Grog.

MATT: So you’re still piggybacking on Grog. Got it. Okay, that ends Pike’s turn. Keyleth, you’re up. Actually, at the end of Pike’s turn–

ASHLEY: You know what, I’m sorry, I’m going to get off his back.

MATT: Okay. You’re staying where you are, though?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: Okay, so you’ll be there. At the end of your turn, Umbrasyl’s going to use another legendary action to make a second tail attack at Scanlan again, frustrated by this whole circumstance.

SAM: I’m sure he is.

MATT: That’s a 20.

SAM: Can I use Cutting Words?

MATT: You may, if you want to.

SAM: All right.

MATT: It’s a natural 20.

SAM: Oh?!

MATT: You could reduce the damage though, with your Cutting Words.

SAM: All right, I’ll do that.

MATT: Probably for the best. For that, you suffer 28 points of bludgeoning damage. As the tail swoops down, finding its mark, slamming into you, sending you against the wall of the stonework, and you stumble forward back into place, feeling already the impact of the bludgeoning wound.

SAM: That’s a four, so.

MATT: So you reduce that to 24.

TALIESIN: That halved? No, that’s not halved. Sorry– brain!

MATT: So 24 points of bludgeoning damage from the attack. However, Umbrasyl’s next saving throw is at a disadvantage because of Mythcarver. Now, Keyleth, what are you doing?

MARISHA: Okay. Faerie Fire (poof) right in front of me. Right on top of him. It gives everybody advantage on attacks against him.

MATT: Yes, it does.

LAURA: That’s great.

MARISHA: I hope he’s got enough hit points to make it worth it.

MATT: With disadvantage on the saving throw.

MARISHA: Yeah, take it, bitch! Glitter bomb! It’s like a Kesha music video.

MATT: So that’s a four plus nine because of the disadvantage. I rolled a ten and a four. That will bring it to 13. It does not succeed. You watch as a second burst of purplish energy surrounds Umbrasyl, radiating a glow.

CHRIS: Who’s the prettiest dragon?

MARISHA: You’re so pretty!

MATT: Gilmore would love this right now. “Fancy dragon! Now we’re talking!” You went from being not able to see the dragon to very much being able to see the dragon. All right.

MARISHA: I’m going to use my bonus action to turn into a water elemental.

MATT: Okay! Look at you being a druid and shit.

MARISHA: Yeah. That’s how I roll.

TRAVIS and MARISHA: Get it, girl! Get it, get it, girl!

MATT: Water elemental Keyleth. Are you going to stay there?

MARISHA: Can I move?

MATT: If you’d like to.

MARISHA: Am I in his range of attack?

MATT: You gather, yes. Pretty big range.

MARISHA: Honestly, Umbrasyl is so fucking big, I can’t see what’s going on in front of me.

MATT: You’re right there.

MARISHA: Is Scanlan in front of me?

MATT: Scanlan is right next to you, to the right.

MARISHA: Can I step in the front and shield Scanlan?

MATT: Unfortunately, the cliff ends right there. So you couldn’t get in front of Scanlan without dropping onto a lower platform.

MARISHA: What about anybody else?

MATT: Percy is down there. You could fill some of Umbrasyl’s space but you’re not going to be able to guard anybody from an attack, unfortunately. Especially being an entity made of water, not a whole lot of defensive strategy in there.

MARISHA: Okay. I’m next to Shale as well, right? We’re all in the shit together?

MATT: Shale’s over here.

MARISHA: Oh, Shale’s over there.

MATT: Flanking from the side.

MARISHA: You know what, I’m just going to stay there!

MATT: All right. Grog, you’re up.

TRAVIS: I would like to run along the side of the pool, and up on his left side, closest to the entrance of the cave. Right there would be delicious.

MATT: There you go.

TRAVIS: I would like to go into a frenzied rage. A regular strike on the first.

MATT: You already have advantage on all the attacks because of Faerie Fire. So you don’t need–

TRAVIS: Yeah, not reckless. Not great weapon.

MATT: Yeah. Go for it.

TALIESIN: Is that a 20?

ASHLEY: Oh, oh! That would be a natural 20!

SAM: Oh! That’s not going to be good for him.

MATT: Barbarian crits, man.

TRAVIS: I keep rolling, yeah?

MATT: Well, do the damage for the critical, yeah.

TALIESIN: This and the next round are going to be really ugly.

MARISHA: Kill it. Fucking kill it!

TRAVIS: 24.

MATT: 24. Okay.

TRAVIS: Is the roll and then, what? Double it or add another–?

MATT: The dice roll is? Well, you roll 1d12. What was that, the first d12 you rolled?

TRAVIS: That was a 15. Oh, the dice roll? 12.

MATT: 12. So make a– it was a 12?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: Oh, shit! Okay, that’s a 24. And then you add your modifier. And then roll two more d12s. So, that’s 24 plus, is that seven?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: Plus the two for the axe. Oh my god! That’ll be at 33. Plus the necrotic– oh, fuck! And that’s doubled too.

TRAVIS: So that’s an 11 for the second d12.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Should we write these numbers down?

MATT: Yeah, we have to now. So it’s 24 plus two for the axe, plus seven for the strength.

TRAVIS: Plus five for the necrotic–

MATT: Hold on, getting there. We’re getting there. It’s getting math crunchy here, guys. So 24 plus nine, so that’s 33, plus– the necrotic?

TRAVIS: Five.

MATT: Times two, which is ten. That’s 43, plus the two other d12s, which is an 11. So that’s 54. Plus your last d12.

TRAVIS: It’s a ten.

MATT: You did 64 points of damage with this one critical hit.

ASHLEY: He’s a monstah!

TRAVIS, MARISHA and LAURA: Monstah!

MATT: All right. So that’s your first attack.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

CHRIS: Dragon’s like, hello!

MARISHA: Disco dragon!

TRAVIS: 20.

MATT: 20. The first strike swings wide and slams deep into an already open wound left by a rogue earlier in the sky. This time, the axe sinks deep into its body, and Umbrasyl roars out in immense pain. You see spittle and blood both being jettisoned from its mouth under the sheer pain that it’s feeling. You take the axe, and you push even deeper, and push even deeper and withdraw. As you do, the blade is entirely covered in deep purplish-black dragon blood. You swing for a second strike. This time it puts its claw out and catches the axe in the middle of the air. You manage to wrench it free from its grasp, but it turns its head toward you, angrily.

ASHLEY: Can I use War God’s Blessing again?

MATT: That is Channel Divinity? I’ll go ahead and double-check here real fast.

MARISHA: We also have Heroes’ Feast up, by the way, if that makes any amount of difference.

MATT: It won’t do anything. It helped you with the temporary hit points, it helped you with–

SAM, MARISHA and LIAM: Fear?

MATT: It helped you with the fear-resistance to begin with. That was a big one. Channel Divinity, War God’s Blessing and you can Channel Divinity twice. So you can do it a second time, you can. Wait, didn’t you use it– between rests, yeah. You could do it a second time if you want to.

ASHLEY: Yeah!

MATT: All right. So with that, with a plus ten brings it to 30. So, as Umbrasyl grabs the axe, stopping it in mid-air, you just grin, reach forward with the axe, and push it into its actual claw. Go ahead and roll damage.

TRAVIS: You nasty, boy! 27.

MATT: 27 points of damage. All right. And do you want to use your bonus action?

TRAVIS: I do.

MATT: Yes, you do.

TRAVIS: Let’s do it great weapon master, just for kicks.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: 26 minus five is 21.

MATT: 21. As you push the blade into Umbrasyl’s hand, (angry snarl) it rears back its head and snaps toward you. You duck out of the way, pull the blade back and go for a third strike. This time however, it actually rears its torso up, putting its claws in the air, and you (slicing) find air right beneath it. Does not strike true.

TRAVIS: Cool. Good beans.

MATT: Yeah. That finishes Grog’s turn. At the end of Grog’s turn, it’s going to use its third legendary action to go ahead and make a– Actually, no, its going to hold onto that legendary action. All right, that brings us to Scanlan.

SAM: Jesus, it’s not dead yet?

MATT: Scanlan, because you took the tail attack earlier, I’ll have you roll a concentration check for Stinking Cloud. You have advantage on it though, so add your constitution bonus.

SAM: 20.

MATT: Yeah, you’re fine.

SAM: Great. I’ve got my Stinking Cloud, still. I would like to move the Stinking Cloud. Oh! No, I can’t do that.

MATT: You can.

SAM: You can move a Stinking Cloud?

MATT: I think it moves from a short breeze, actually.

SAM: Eh, it’s fine.

MATT: Older versions, I think you could.

SAM: I don’t want the Stinking Cloud to move. All right, he’s right on us, he’s got a legendary action. This is not good. Okay, I will reintroduce him to Bigby’s Hand, (singing) Bigby’s Hand! And I’m going to use it as an– Ugh, so weak! Interposing Hand.

MATT: Bigby’s Interposing Hand, all righty.

LAURA: What is that?

SAM: It will block him. It’s a talk-to-the-hand move.

MATT: The idea is, you can use your bonus action to set it each turn to what you want it to do. So right now, you’re having it as an Interposing Hand. So, yeah. It prevents it from moving–

SAM: Wait, just moving? It can still attack?

MATT: The Interposing Hand interposes between you and a creature you choose until you give it a different command. It stays between the two of you, providing you half-cover against the target. So it helps from ranged attacks.

SAM: Oh. But it won’t block an attack. So in that case, I’ll just attack with it.

MATT: Okay, so you’re just going to go and Clenched Fist?

SAM: I’m going to try to finger it right in the hole that I came out of before.

MATT: Of course you are! Go ahead and make a melee spell attack.

SAM: He’s the Bigby and the dike!

MATT: That would be over here

SAM: What do I roll? d20?

MATT: d20, add your spell attack modifier.

SAM: Oh! 27. Oh! With advantage? 27.

MATT: 27, that hits. Go ahead and roll 4d8 force damage, as Bigby angrily jams the magical finger back into the wound.

ASHLEY: Rage fingering?

LIAM: This dragon is being violated in so many ways.

SAM: It’s just ten. 4d8 plus what?

MATT: It’s 4d8 force damage.

SAM: That’s it, ten.

MATT: Ten points of force damage.

SAM: Yes.

LIAM: Not like this!

MATT: All right, Scanlan, are you going to move or stay where you are?

SAM: If I move, he’ll kill me, so I won’t. Instead, I will– where’s Vax?

MATT: Vax is over here.

SAM: Way over there?!

LIAM: Playing medic with my sister.

LAURA: Hey!

SAM: Jesus. Who can I inspire? I guess I’ll inspire good old Shale again. You don’t need inspiration, you’re fine! This is an old lady! I’ll turn to Shale and say, I don’t normally do this, but I find you so attractive! For an old lady!

CHRIS: Focus on the dragon!

SAM: I can’t! With your eyes– eye? Eye so beautiful! So twinkling when it looks at me! I just want you to hold me in your arm tonight!

(laughter)

CHRIS: Have you ever had sex?

(laughter)

SAM: No!

TALIESIN: It was just hanging there!

SAM: Yes, I’ve had sex, Shale! I have a daughter.

MATT: He says this as a giant Bigby’s Hand is just (impact sounds) at the side of a giant, black dragon. That brings us to the top of the initiative round. Percy, it’s your turn. Oh my god.

TALIESIN: Okay. How close am I to this dragon?

MATT: You are about ten feet from it right now.

TALIESIN: I’m walking right the fuck up to it.

MATT: Okay, Percy. You walk right up to the dragon.

TALIESIN: I’m pulling out the sword. And I’m going to fucking town, screaming like a little girl the entire time.

MARISHA: Kill it! Advantage!

TALIESIN: With advantage.

MARISHA: All day! Advantage all day!

LAURA: Kill that fucking dragon.

TALIESIN: 26!

MATT: 26 hits.

TALIESIN: All right, first damage. 23 points of damage.

MATT: 23 points of damage, all right.

TALIESIN: For shot number one. Shot number two.

MARISHA: Big money, no whammies. That’s good!

TALIESIN: Natural 20.

MARISHA: Sorry, excitement.

TALIESIN: Ten, 16, 16 times two is 32. 39, that’s 39 points of damage. Number three! Oh, it gets worse. I’m going to die. Okay, I can do better than that. No, he can’t. 22.

MATT: 22 just hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

TALIESIN: That’s 18 points of slashing damage.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: Action surge, motherfucker!

MATT: Go for it.

CHRIS: Going Ginsu on this dragon.

MATT: I know, seriously.

TALIESIN: It is not an awesome hit, it’s just a hit. I’m really excited. 18 points of damage.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: Shot number two.

SAM: Oh my god.

TALIESIN: That’s a hit.

LAURA: Natural 20?

TALIESIN: Natural 20. This is to make up for all these fucking ones.

LAURA: Why doesn’t Percy just always attack melee?

MARISHA: He’s bad at it most of the time.

TALIESIN: 47 points of damage. Final attack.

SAM: Wait, what?

LIAM: How is this possible?

MARISHA: Because he’s a fighter, he gets three attacks per round.

TALIESIN: Plus an action surge for a second attack set of three. So I’m basically going– Yeah.

MARISHA: It’s like a John Wu film.

TALIESIN: It’s just a fucking John Wu attack. Oh my god, it hit. Just barely, because it was a one, otherwise. And that final hit is– oh, that’s good. 27 points of damage, and I’m done.

MATT: As you unload on Umbrasyl, the pent-up anger and frustration, you start slashing over and over again. You guys watch as the blade shines in the air in the presence of its naturally designed enemy. You see at the corners of his outfit little tufts of dark smoke beginning to appear. The scar of Orthax still shows when the fury builds within Percy. As each blow strikes, cutting away hunks and bits of dragon flesh and scale, Umbrasyl is heavily wounded and looking desperate. That ends your turn, I believe?

LAURA: Oh my god, he’s still alive?

MATT: You guys gave it time to rest.

TALIESIN: Fuck it, bonus action, I’m putting on the mask and standing my ground. Fuck it.

MATT: Amazing what a dragon can do in two hours.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I’m done.

MATT: All right. Vex.

LAURA: Hi. Okay. I’m going to–

MATT: Actually, at the end of Percy’s turn, he’s going to use his third legendary action, knowing the source of the Faerie Fire and extremely frustrated by the fact that it has lent to a very difficult round, it turns towards the now water elemental quivering before it, and the tail comes down to smash towards your liquid form.

MARISHA: (burbling)

MATT: Speaking of natural 20s.

TALIESIN: It’s okay.

MARISHA: Come on, bitch. Come on.

TALIESIN: You’re fine.

MARISHA: Totally fine. I’m an elemental for a reason.

TALIESIN: You are totally fucking fine.

MATT: 32 points of bludgeoning damage.

MARISHA: Halved.

MATT: Halved, because of your elemental. Does water elemental have resistance to damage?

MARISHA: Yeah, it has damage resistance against acid, bludgeoning, piercing, slashing from non-magical weapons.

MATT: All right, so half that. So 32 made to 16. 16 points of bludgeoning damage. I need you to go ahead and roll a concentration check.

MARISHA: What did you say?

MATT: Roll a concentration check. So roll a d20 and add your constitution modifier.

TALIESIN: Even if it goes, it was worth it.

MARISHA: Not bad, not bad. Hang on, sorry. Just my straight modifier, it’s not a save? Okay, 18!

MATT: You maintain concentration. You needed to beat the 16.

MARISHA: Whoa, daddy. All right.

MATT: Well, half the damage. No, it would’ve been ten, actually, because it’s half the damage you receive.

MARISHA: Half the damage I receive, so yeah, I’m good. I’m golden.

MATT: All right, cool. So Vex, what are you doing?

LAURA: Oh, jeez. Who all is within five feet of it? Is everybody within five feet of it?

MATT: A lot of them are. Pretty much the whole party aside from Pike, you, and your brother.

LAURA: Then I’m just going to attack it twice.

TALIESIN: With advantage.

SAM: Oi, Matt. My Bigby’s is concentration, so that cloud’s gone, by the way.

MATT: Correct, thank you.

LAURA: 19 plus 12 hits.

SAM: Did you shoot it in the back?

MATT: Yes, it does. Go ahead and roll damage.

LAURA: Can I Hunter’s Mark him?

MATT: As a bonus action?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: All right. Good memory on that one.

LAURA: 19 on the first hit.

MATT: 19 damage? All right.

LAURA: Then the second one hits as well, 17 plus 12.

MATT: Yep. Go ahead and roll damage for the second hit.

LAURA: 23.

MATT: 23. All right. So, ending your turn, comes to the top of the round. Umbrasyl, now gripping into the stone, “I will not fall!” Suddenly, darkness begins to sweep into the area. In this area, a 15-foot radius all completely around Umbrasyl, all of you in this area, your vision goes dark.

LIAM: Cancels out Faerie Fire and the golden butt?

MATT: Cancels out Faerie Fire. This is magical darkness.

SAM: It’s not a spell, right?

LIAM: For those of us on the outside, do we see a bubble of darkness where Key and the others–

SAM: A spell, Matt?

MATT: No, this is an effect of the lair. Actually, Faerie Fire would still affect it if you attacked it, per se, but it doesn’t reveal its location currently within the darkness. However, it is technically larger than the darkness. Regardless, all of you guys that are in there, it would negate the advantage you would have from Faerie Fire. It would just be a central attack.

MARISHA: So it wouldn’t give us disadvantage, it would just be straight rolls?

MATT: A little bit of it’s piercing through, because it is magic on magic. However, the rest of you see most of the party disappear into a giant sphere of magical darkness that fills the space.

LAURA: So we on the outside, we can’t use Faerie Fire? It’s just a bubble of dark? Or do we see Umbrasyl peeking out?

LIAM: He said he’s bigger than the dark, so we see his head coming out.

MATT: You see the wings poking out the sides of it. You still see where he would be. Okay, so with that, Umbrasyl is going to go ahead and take a risk. He’s going to lift his wings and head upward to move into an advantageous position.

SAM: No, it’s not!

MARISHA: Come on. Come on, Scanlan.

SAM: I’m going to say, you leave when Burt Reynolds says you can fucking leave! And I will Bigby’s Hand, and I will bring him back down, because I get a spell on his retreat.

TALIESIN: I love watching him look at the phone.

MARISHA: Consult the helix.

MATT: Unfortunately, you have to be grasping it or grappling it to attempt to–

SAM: No, I get a full spell action. It’s my lore feature. I get to cast a brand new fucking spell when he lifts off.

MATT: Which one?

SAM: College of Lore. If he retreats, I get to cast a spell. This is the exact same thing that happened last time.

MATT: Trying to remember how this works. College of Lore. I don’t know if it is. Because what you do is you grapple–

SAM: Oh, no, it’s a War Caster feature.

MATT: Oh, War Caster! Thank you, that clarifies it. I was like, I don’t see this in the College of Lore! You’re confusing me! So as a War Caster, when a hostile creature’s movement provokes an opportunity attack from you, you can use your reaction to cast a spell at the creature rather than making an opportunity attack. So yeah, if you wanted to go ahead and attempt to grapple–

SAM: I will grapple him and pull him back down.

MATT: You can totally attempt that. Bigby, go ahead and make a strength athletics check to beat a dragon’s strength. Bigby is just slightly under the strength of the dragon, so let’s see. It’s a roll-off.

SAM: It’s a roll-off! Oh my god. This is a critical roll. That’s a two.

MATT: It was a 19 on my end. Natural 19. As Bigby’s Hand reaches forward, the angry, wounded, frustrated, furious Umbrasyl just kicks the hand away, pulling up.

TALIESIN: Do we get an attack of opportunity?

MATT: Attack of opportunity from you, you, you, and you.

MARISHA: Down, bitch, down!

ASHLEY: And the Spiritual Weapon, right? And the Spiritual Weapon?

MATT: No, it does not get attacks of opportunity. MARISHA: Without advantage, even though he’s retreating?

MATT: Without advantage, because of the magical darkness that has surrounded you guys.

MARISHA: Even though he’s retreating in Faerie Fire? That doesn’t double it?

MATT: The darkness would give you disadvantage, the Faerie Fire negates that. I’m letting you do this.

MARISHA: Okay. Letting you do this! Be thankful of what you have! 22 exactly.

MATT: That hits.

TALIESIN: 20.

CHRIS: My staff bounces right off.

MATT: Okay. Grog?

TRAVIS: 23.

MATT: All right, so Grog and Keyleth both get a hit in. Go ahead and roll damage.

MARISHA: Shit. Balls. Low. Shit. Eight damage from the elemental.

TRAVIS: 20.

MATT: 20, all right.

TRAVIS: 25. Plus the necrotic.

MATT: Good to know.

MARISHA: And we decided I don’t get my fire hands when I’m a water elemental?

MATT: Because that’s bullshit.

MARISHA: Yeah, all right.

TALIESIN: That would just be steam.

MATT: So as you swing out, you arc, and the axe strikes across the back of Umbrasyl’s hide. You slam with your water elemental form. The flight is staggered, and barely lands on his feet. Umbrasyl, “I will take you all down!” Unleashes.

MARISHA: Here it comes.

MATT: I need a dexterity saving throw from Shale, Percy, Keyleth, and Scanlan.

LAURA: Oh, it’s that whole table!

SAM: Seven!

CHRIS: 24.

MARISHA: 12.

TALIESIN: 18.

MATT: All right. Shale actually succeeded on that one. DC 23.

MARISHA: DC 23!

MATT: So you take half damage on that one. That’s going to be, doing the dice rolls here. So that’s 62 points of acid damage down to 31 to Shale, and 31 to you because you’re resistant. So 62 points of acid damage to both of you guys.

SAM: My armor, does that do anything?

MATT: Your armor takes it by half, so you would take 31.

TALIESIN: 62? Okay.

CHRIS: Cursed lizard, we’re going to give all your treasure to the poor!

MATT: And with that, it takes the rest of its action to move further back at its 80 foot flight, and it’s going to end up right about there.

SAM: It’s too big to fit in its own house.

MATT: I know! Leaving the Spiritual Weapon there. All right, that’s going to end its turn. That now brings it to Vax.

LIAM: The twins still have advantage because it’s got the Faerie Fire on it, right? You said everyone in it?

MATT: Oh, you need to make a concentration check, by the way, from the damage you just took.

MARISHA: Did he get out of the darkness?

MATT: He did.

MARISHA: Ooh, ouch, not good at all. What am I making, just a constitution check?

MATT: Add your constitution modifier.

MARISHA: I don’t think it’s going to be enough. Eight.

MATT: The Faerie Fire fades as the acid consumes you, no longer affected by it.

MARISHA: Shit.

MATT: All right. Vax, it’s your turn. To answer your question, no.

LIAM: Nobody’s near it anymore, right?

MATT: Nope.

LIAM: Okay. I would like to scrabble up behind it, as close to its treasure pile as I can get.

MATT: Okay, that would be about there.

LIAM: And I’m going to throw. Shit. No, cancel that. I’d like to run up its tail.

MATT: Okay. You go rushing, clambering onto the back of its tail. It swoops around and sees you doing so, but you’re already quick and on it. What are you going to do?

LIAM: I’m going to hold my action until somebody gets up on this motherfucker, and as soon as somebody gets close and catches his attention I’m going to stab into it.

MATT: Okay. Good to know. All right, that takes the end of Vax’s turn. Shale, you’re up.

CHRIS: I stride up to the dragon and smack it on the nose.

TRAVIS: Atta girl, Shale!

MATT: Speed of 20 feet, you said?

CHRIS: Yeah.

MATT: You can’t quite get to it, unfortunately. That’s about as far as you can move this turn. You can dash if you want to, but even so, you still can’t quite get to it.

CHRIS: All right then. I will use all my action to get as close to it as I can.

MATT: Okay, there we go. All right! Ending Shale’s turn. Pike, you’re up.

ASHLEY: Okay. I didn’t realize I was up so quickly. All right.

CHRIS: Although, actually, I have action surge.

MATT: You do, actually.

CHRIS: So I will then whack him on the nose.

MATT: That’s true.

MARISHA: Fuck yes.

CHRIS: All right, so that’s going to be–

TALIESIN: I have 13 hit points.

SAM: 13? I thought that said 93.

TALIESIN: I count up.

CHRIS: 22.

MATT: 22, that just barely hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

CHRIS: So I whack it for nine.

MATT: Nine points of damage, got it.

LIAM: I’m above it. Do I get advantage for that?

MATT: Technically, because you are behind, you are flanking it, so as we’ll use the flanking rules for this, you do have advantage on the attack.

LIAM: Okay, so, good. 29.

MATT: 29 hits. Go ahead and roll damage with sneak attack.

LIAM: 24.

MATT: 24, all righty.

LIAM: And is the bonus action gone because of holding the action?

MATT: Correct, yeah, you just get the one action to hold.

LIAM: Add one point to that. It was the keen dagger.

MATT: So as part of your action surge, you get two more attacks.

LIAM: I didn’t add the damage! Add eight to that. Not one, add eight to that. Sorry.

SAM: Add seven more. Then add three.

CHRIS: Nope, and nope.

SAM: You have inspiration!

CHRIS: I used it already.

SAM: Goddamn it!

CHRIS: But thank you, it was very helpful.

SAM: You’re useless!

CHRIS: A fickle lover.

MATT: The one hit, it snorts in reaction to it. As it pulls back, you swing twice more, pretty sure the head was in the same place it was going to be, but unfortunately, meet air. Curse your sight!

CHRIS: He had a bit of an itch on his back, that’s what it was.

MATT: Caught the attention. All right, that brings us to Pike. What are you doing?

ASHLEY: I’m going to cast Prayer of Healing over to everybody over there. So, Keyleth, Percy, Scanlan, Shale.

MARISHA: Awesome. I’m into this.

CHRIS: I’m sort of right under the dragon. I’m actually quite far.

ASHLEY: Yeah, she’s gone. Who’s that down there? That’s you, Percy, right?

TALIESIN: Trinket.

MATT: What level is Prayer of Healing?

ASHLEY: I’m going to do it at fifth level. It’s a second level, but I’m going to do it at fifth level.

MATT: Within 30 feet of you, so five, ten, 15, 20, 25, 30.

SAM: You can heal my hand.

LIAM: You could also run closer and do it.

ASHLEY: Okay. Yeah, I’ll run closer. And I’ll run around, not into the pool of acid death.

MATT: That’s as close as you can get right now.

SAM: Is that close?

LIAM: It’s close enough for Scanlan.

MATT: It’s enough for Scanlan and Keyleth.

SAM: Don’t do it.

MARISHA: Percy needs it.

ASHLEY: Percy needs it?

MATT: Percy’s not in range.

ASHLEY: Fuck. Can I go the other way around?

SAM: You can go through the acid.

TALIESIN: No.

TRAVIS: It was only 12 points of damage.

ASHLEY: I don’t have a lot left. All right, then.

TALIESIN: It’s okay.

LIAM: Do what you can.

ASHLEY: Okay. Fuck. Can I stay where I was at, then?

MATT: You can. Stay right there.

ASHLEY: Okay. Sorry, I’m going to not do that. I’m going to Guiding Bolt then.

MATT: Okay. You can just barely make out the position of where Umbrasyl is. You can go ahead and make the attack, but it’s going to get cover bonus to the range.

ASHLEY: Can I peek out? Can I move out?

MATT: You can move here if you want to, and it’ll help a little bit. It’ll only give it a minor bonus. Go ahead and make your attack.

ASHLEY: What’s that?

MATT: Go ahead and make your spell attack. Is this basic level Guiding Bolt?

ASHLEY: Basic level Guiding Bolt.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Nope. Doesn’t hit.

MATT: You try and reach around and as it’s moving its wings about, you manage to strike the stone just blocking half of its form. It splashes with energy and dissipates with no effect, unfortunately.

ASHLEY: All right. Can I tuck back in?

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: And I’m going to move the Spiritual Weapon with my bonus attack, or can I not do that?

MATT: You can do that, yeah. 20 feet? To there.

ASHLEY: Okay. That’s it. That’s what I can do.

MATT: Is that as far as you can move it? Spiritual Weapon can move, I believe it’s 20 feet. Yeah, that’s as far as you can get it.

ASHLEY: No, 60 feet!

MATT: The range of the spell is 60 feet, but as a bonus action, you can move it 20 feet and repeat the attack.

ASHLEY: Oh.

MATT: Keyleth, you’re up.

MARISHA: I’m up? No shit. Wow. Okay. It’s really far away though now, yeah?

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Way more than 30 feet, right?

MATT: Yep.

MARISHA: What is he? How far away is he from me?

MATT: You’re not sure.

LIAM: He’s about 40 or 50 feet or something.

MARISHA: Yeah. You’re holding your action for someone to get up close.

LAURA: He already did it.

MARISHA: Oh, you already did it. Yeah, I guess I’m going to dash and see if I can get to him.

MATT: Okay, what’s your movement as a water elemental?

MARISHA: 30 feet.

MATT: 30 feet. 60, you’re so close. Fucking dragon wings. There you go, you’re so close. We’ll say you’re there, that’s fine. That ends your turn, Keyleth?

MARISHA: I guess so.

MATT: All right. Grog, you’re up.

TRAVIS: I would like to stride over to Bigby’s Hand, and can I take out a level– It’s not level two, what do you call it? Not superior, but the middle one.

SAM: Moderate?

TRAVIS: Can I take a moderate healing potion?

MATT: There’s healing and then greater healing, so I imagine it would probably be greater healing.

TRAVIS: Can I take the greater healing potion and chuck it to Percy?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Just a toss while standing at Bigby’s Hand?

MATT: Sure. Go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw to catch the tossed potion at that distance.

TALIESIN: Natural 20.

MATT: You don’t even look.

TRAVIS: And I will hold my attack.

MATT: You can keep moving if you want.

TRAVIS: I want to stay right by Bigby’s Hand. I’ll hold my attack until Bigby’s Hand twitches.

MATT: All right. Finishing Grog’s turn, Scanlan, you’re up.

SAM: I will inspire Grog with a little ditty that I like to call, Who Let the Grogs Out?

ALL: Who? Who who who who?

SAM: Who let the Grogs out?

ALL: Who? Who who who who?

MATT: I’m conflicted in giving that inspiration. Take it, it’s fine.

SAM: I can try a different one, if you’d like.

MATT: No, it’s perfect.

SAM: And I will pick him up, with his blessing.

TRAVIS: Please.

SAM: And throw him at the dragon.

MATT: Throw?

SAM: Or, you know, send him.

MATT: Okay, so Bigby’s Hand will move with you 60 feet.

SAM: You want to go up to his head?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

SAM: All right, yeah. He’s going up top.

MATT: Okay. We’ll go ahead and use some of the platforms today.

LAURA: Yeah! Cut his horns off!

LIAM: Don’t land on me.

ASHLEY: Kill him!

LAURA: Cut his wings off!

ASHLEY: Tear his head off!

LAURA: Jump off those head things!

TALIESIN: We have done a lot of damage to this thing.

MATT: Problem with leaving it to heal, man.

SAM: He’s only got 400 hit points left.

LAURA: He’s looking rough.

MATT: Should be more like there, we’ll say.

SAM: Release the hounds.

TRAVIS: Can I make two reckless attacks?

MATT: You may.

LAURA: Reckless?

TRAVIS: Yes, reckless. I’ll use the inspiration die. That’s a ten, so that’s a 29.

MATT: 29 hits.

SAM: Yeah! That helped.

TRAVIS: 23.

LAURA: Plus necrotic.

TRAVIS: 26.

MATT: 26, got it. All right, second attack.

TRAVIS: 24.

MATT: Both hit. Go ahead and roll damage.

TRAVIS: 24.

LAURA: Plus necrotic.

TRAVIS: Thank you. 29. I’m not used to that.

MATT: All right. As Bigby’s Hand lifts you up, you reach out and swing with the axe, one hit, a second hit, both streaking across the face, the second one actually cutting through one of the eyes. The eye bursts against the blade of bloodaxe, and you can see now the fluids and material that once were contained within are now spilling down the side of Umbrasyl’s face.

TRAVIS: Ain’t you pretty?

MATT: All right, Scanlan.

SAM: What, me?

MATT: That was your bonus action.

SAM: Oh! Well, okay. I didn’t know that. I will try something else then. I will send– shit. I will send my Lightning Bolt. Can I see any part of him that’s not inhabited by one of my allies?

MATT: I’d say there’s an arc you could probably hit, yeah.

SAM: Right in the heart?

MATT: Sure. The heart region of the dragon.

SAM: I’m going to shoot him right through the heart with lightning.

MATT: All right. That is a dexterity 21 save, so I’m pretty sure it’s halved.

SAM: Yeah, that saves.

MATT: Go ahead and roll 8d6, half damage.

LIAM: Shot through the heart!

SAM: I don’t know that song, I don’t know what that is. I don’t know that song. 24, so just 12.

MATT: 12 points of lightning damage. All right. The bolt of lightning bursts through the body. All righty. That comes to the top of the round. At the end of Scanlan’s turn, it’s going to use a legendary action to strike down, with the tail, onto Vax behind, as you are already in that vicinity.

LIAM: Dex save?

MATT: No, this is instead going to be a 26 to hit.

LIAM: Yeah, that– oh, displacer cloak. Did you do that at disadvantage?

MATT: That is instead a 24 to hit.

LIAM: That does hit. I’ll use Uncanny Dodge, though.

MATT: All right. So what would be 18 damage, you take nine instead from the tail. Percy.

TALIESIN: I’m going to take three shots from where I’m at. First, I’m going to use my bonus action to chug down that potion I just got. What’s the superior worth?

SAM: Greater.

MATT: It’s a greater, yes. 4d4 plus four.

TALIESIN: 4d4 plus four. Where are my d4s at? I’ll just do this four times. 13 points up, so that’s a little bit better. All right, I’m going to take shot number one. I’m going to do a called shot to the face. I’m going to hit his other eye. Come on. Natural 20.

SAM: I feel like we need to retire the dice.

TALIESIN: Fuck no! No, I love this die.

MARISHA: You witnessed it!

CHRIS: Yeah!

MARISHA: You’re a third party, it’s good.

TRAVIS: Have you and Wheaton ever touched?

TALIESIN: Yeah, and I had a really bad day afterward. Let me tell you. That didn’t turn out too well. That’s just 16 points of damage, and I don’t think I get anything bonus for this, he has to make a constitution saving throw.

CHRIS: Eyeball saving throw.

TALIESIN: Or he’s going to have disadvantage on all of his attacks for the next turn.

MATT: Okay, that is nine plus 14, 23.

TALIESIN: Yeah, no, he’s fine.

MATT: Dragons.

TALIESIN: I know. It was worth a shot. I’m going to take another shot. Fuck it, I’m just going to go for a sharpshooter, to try and do a little bit more damage to this, and I’m going to burn another grit and get advantage on it.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: So advantage sharpshooter. And that’s a good thing, because that was terrible. And that was also terrible. So I miss.

MATT: All right, second shot. The first one (boom) slams and blasts near the ocular socket of Umbrasyl, shattering the bone, but not actually damaging the eye. The second shot manages to go through the wing, but unfortunately, the area was already damaged, and it’s minimal in the effect on the dragon. Third strike?

TALIESIN: Yeah, third strike. Here we go. Actually, you know what, I’m going to go for advantage. I’m going to go for sharpshooter advantage one more time, just for shits and giggles. Jesus. Do I call it?

MATT: It fell to the table.

TALIESIN: So, yeah, I miss.

MATT: Two other shots, unfortunately, (bang).

TALIESIN: I’m going to hide. I’m going to pull top right, and go up. I’m going up and I’m getting the fuck back there, as far back as I can get.

MATT: Okay. End of Percy’s turn, going to use another legendary action to slam with the tail once again towards you, Vax. This is going to be–

LIAM: This is in the same round, so there’s no more disadvantage.

MATT: Correct. 25?

LIAM: Sure. And do I blow Uncanny Dodge now?

MATT: You only get one reaction, so yeah. That’s going to be 22 points of bludgeoning damage. Whack! The tail comes down and slams into you, putting you face-first into the stone. You can feel the blood run from your nose from the impact as the tail picks back up again. Vex, you’re up.

LAURA: I’m going to attack him a couple times. How about that? No advantage anymore, though, huh?

MARISHA: No, it failed.

LAURA: 18 on the first one doesn’t hit.

MATT: Arrow just splinters across the dragon’s hide.

LAURA: That first one was way better, I should’ve kept it!

MATT: What was the second one?

LAURA: The second one was 16.

MATT: 16, the second arrow strikes the side of Umbrasyl’s face. Unfortunately, once again, the wood shaft streaks across, broken and destroyed by the impact. That ends your turn.

LAURA: No, I still have a bonus action, so I’m going to hide with my bonus action.

MATT: Okay, you can do that, roll stealth. Did you add sneak attack? Oh, no, because nothing hit. Sorry.

LAURA: Really?

MATT: Sorry, I was trying to be mindful.

LAURA: Did you really just do that?

MATT: Trying to help. Failing miserably, but trying.

LAURA: Do I still have Pass Without Trace?

MATT: No. Hunter’s Mark got rid of that.

LAURA: 20.

MATT: Okay, good to know. Top of the round. Magical darkness fills this entire sphere once more, encapsulating Grog, Vax, and everybody else in the area of the dragon. Vision is taken. You are all considered blind and have disadvantage on any attack rolls.

LAURA: Who all?

MATT: Dragon does not seem to be–

LIAM: And is it we’re blinded, or we’re blind where we are?

MATT: Blind where you are.

TRAVIS: Dragon does not seem to be–?

MATT: Affected by it.

LAURA: I’m not affected by that, though, because I’m outside of the bubble?

MATT: Correct, yes. Actually, let me see something.

TRAVIS: That dumb grin.

MATT: With a five. Yep.

MARISHA: Breath recharged.

MATT: Umbrasyl is going to turn up towards you, Grog. The head peeks out of the darkness for a second, right before it fills your space, and it just says, “I will finish this.” You hear a familiar sound of gurgling, and then (liquid spray) out another time. This is going to go for everything in that vicinity. That’s going to be Keyleth, Shale, Grog, Trinket, and Percy.

TALIESIN: Did I not get cover?

MATT: You couldn’t move that far, unfortunately. That’s as far as you could go with your movement.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: So I need a dexterity saving throw from all of you guys.

MARISHA: Fuck.

TALIESIN: Blowing my last reroll. That’s better.

MARISHA: It’s like a 23 save, right?

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Fuck no. I mean, I rolled good, but–

MARISHA: But it doesn’t matter.

TRAVIS: 18.

CHRIS: Ten.

MARISHA: Six.

TALIESIN: That’s 20.

MATT: And Trinket? Oh.

SAM: I guess I should do a Cutting Words, just to help a little bit.

MATT: What’s the range on Cutting Words, unfortunately?

SAM: Probably 60, 30? Is he further than that? Damn it.

MATT: Unfortunately. The distance of the bard. Just to make sure. 60 feet, yeah. So that’s 66 points of acid damage to Grog, Shale, halved to you, and 66 to Percy.

LAURA: Trinket’s unconscious.

MATT: Trinket is unconscious and dissolving.

TALIESIN: I’m unconscious.

MATT: Percy is unconscious and dissolving. Grog?

TRAVIS: I’m good.

MATT: You’re good. Hit points.

TRAVIS: I have a question. Because he attacked me, do I get my retaliation attack on him?

MATT: Yes, you do.

MARISHA: Kill him, motherfucker! Kill him!

MATT: Shale, what are you at?

CHRIS: This will depend on this roll. I’ve got Stone’s Endurance, so I’m going to try to use my reaction to reduce the damage, and I reduce it by enough to keep me up.

MATT: Fantastic! She’s got grit! She’s got perseverance!

SAM: So sexy!

CHRIS: I’m at two hit points.

MATT: All right, Grog, go for it. Not with advantage.

TRAVIS: It’s not reckless?

MATT: The reckless is for your actual attack round.

TRAVIS: The first one was an 18.

MATT: I’m pretty sure it is. Let me double check. Just so the internet doesn’t yell at me. It’s going to yell at me anyway, it always yells at me.

TALIESIN: I believe in you.

TRAVIS: It’s a 27, so.

MARISHA: This fucker’s got to be close to death, right?

TALIESIN: Nope.

MATT: During this turn, not round, so yeah.

TRAVIS: That was a 27 for the first one.

MATT: 27 was the hit? That hits. Roll damage.

TRAVIS: 18.

LAURA: Plus necrotic.

TRAVIS: Thank you. 22.

MATT: 22. How do you want to do this?

(cheering)

TRAVIS: Did the fucking necrotic do it?

(screaming)

SAM: Oh, god.

MATT: So. Held aloft by Bigby’s Hand, acid sprayed in your face, two of your friends on the ground, unconscious and dissolving, in the center of the dragon’s lair, Grog Strongjaw, how do you want to do this?

TRAVIS: I rear back with the bloodaxe and I swing for the hinge right where his upper and lower jaw meet, and I’d like to cleave up under his skull into his brain.

MATT: As you lunge forward, the darkness fills you, but the feral instinct that you’ve grown up with is enough to know the source of that pain, the source of that acid, is also the source of victory. And as you swing wide, the jaw, still extended from the blast of acid, you push through it, as it’s spraying into you, and the sheer force of your blade hits the edge of the jaw, and you push, and you hear from the back of the throat, as the acid is projected, the gurgle of horrible, shrieking pain. (groan) The stream stops as the blade goes towards the base of the skull, pushing forward and upward. You divide the actual mouth of Umbrasyl like that. The darkness (whoosh) flicks out, as you guys watch Grog descending, putting your foot now onto the front of the dragon’s neck, you stand up, getting hold onto where the wound is there, still living, the one working eye flitting about wildly, you reach up and grab the edge of the nose, bring the axe up with the other hand, and slam again, and again, and as you do, the eye rolls back. The whole body begins to fall limp as it crumples backward. Vax, I need you to go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw.

TALIESIN: Oh, yeah, I am very unconscious.

ASHLEY: You’ll be okay. I’ve got you.

LIAM: 25.

MATT: 25. Okay, you dodge out of the way as the dragon plummets to the ground. (heavy impact) What was Trinket’s maximum hit points?

LAURA: It was 60.

MATT: Let me check something here.

LAURA: But he was at 53 when he got hit.

MATT: The remaining damage. Yeah, you’re fine.

TRAVIS: Night saved.

MATT: Umbrasyl’s body hits the ground, the two arms reach up, and the body still continues to pull itself backwards. You pull out of the way. The head lolls around, the jaw now grossly, cartoonishly open, giving out these horrible choking sounds, as the blood and bile and acid all mingle. It tries to talk. The bubbles continue coming forward before it stumbles, the arms sprawled out, its head falls limp to the side as the eye twitches and then falls still.

ASHLEY: I run over to Percy.

LAURA: I run over to Trinket.

MARISHA: I drop my water elemental form.

ASHLEY: I touch Percy and I cast Heal on him.

MARISHA: Nice.

LAURA: I cast Cure Wounds on Trinket.

MATT: As you stand there, Shale, watching the dragon fall as Grog Strongjaw, the once runt of the Herd of Storms, slams the blade over and over again in the dragon’s head, a little part of you is a little jealous, and another part proud, and a little sad that this was not the time for you to lose your life in battle against a mighty dragon.

ASHLEY: Oh, Shale.

LIAM: Can you believe it?

SAM: Shale jumps into acid.

LIAM: Just walks in.

CHRIS: Dissolves.

MATT: (sizzle) I can make that joke in two weeks! As you go and bring Trinket around for a second, using the last bit of the magic that’s been afforded to you as a ranger, Trinket comes to. (bear grunt) A lot of the fur has been singed off, and spotted flesh with acid burn, but is conscious and alive, and weak, Trinket leans forward as you’re cradling his head and licks the side of your face and tucks his nose into the side of your shoulder.

LAURA: You were so brave in here!

MATT: (bear grunt) You go ahead and help Percy get off the ground. You come to consciousness again and you see Pike’s hand touching yours as she lifts you. Suddenly, a surge of invigoration hits your body, and you find yourself feeling a lot better than you did a few moments ago.

TALIESIN: Yeah, what am I at?

ASHLEY: 70 hit points.

LAURA: That’s major.

MATT: Heal, man. Clerics don’t fuck around.

ASHLEY: I saved it just in case.

LAURA and MARISHA: Holy shit, Grog!

ASHLEY: Grog! I run over to Grog and I jump up on his leg, I’m going to sit on his foot.

TRAVIS: Monstah!

ASHLEY: Yeah, monstah!

CHRIS: I will remove my dragon tooth necklace and pass it off to Grog.

TRAVIS: No, Shale.

CHRIS: You must take this. You’ve got many more battles left in you. This is going to serve you better than it ever served me. And just so you know, I don’t know what the Herd would do, but if you ever go into battle again against other dragons, you know who to call. I’ll be ready.

TRAVIS: Yeah. The wielder of the magic stick of nose-whappiness. I will wear this with honor.

CHRIS: All right. So whenever you, by the way, whenever you spend hit dice to regain hit points, you double the number of hit points restored.

TRAVIS: With the necklace?

CHRIS: Yes.

TRAVIS: Oh, snap!

ASHLEY: You what?

CHRIS: Double your hit points you restore.

TRAVIS: I thought it was bullshit, but it’s not! Dope!

LIAM: You finally have some hit points.

LAURA: You know, if you seek another dragon to kill, you might meet us in Whitestone. We’re forming an army there.

CHRIS: I just might.

MARISHA: Keyleth drops elemental form and goes over to Vax and grabs him by the face.

LIAM: You’d have to lean over for that.

SAM: He’s a little boy!

LAURA: It’s like kissing a child.

CHRIS: He’s like a little voodoo doll of Vax.

LIAM: I’m not pygmied or anything, I’m like a doll.

LAURA: Keep it going, Keyleth. Just mug down with him.

LIAM: Maybe this should wait till later?

MARISHA: I tap him on the face, and say: So glad you’re not dead. And I walk away.

LIAM: I’m going to shake that off, and then I’m going to do a once around the entire chamber and look around for any traps I can find, especially around that pile up top, but also, I don’t know that they’ll be here, but see if there’s anything like what we saw in Krieg’s cave with the crystals in the wall. Little peeky stones.

MATT: Make an investigation check.

LAURA: Can I look for those, too, since dragons?

LIAM: 22.

LAURA: Oh, he probably doesn’t need my help. I get advantage on all dragon things.

MATT: You do.

LAURA: It doesn’t matter. I rolled shit, twice. 12.

MATT: 12, okay. You guys spend the better part of the next 15 or so minutes glancing around and trying to find any sign of these strange obsidian spheres that were previously in the lair of Krieg, or Brimscythe. After coasting through the crates and barrels, gold piles, the various artifacts and trinkets and things that are strewn about this back corner, no sign of anything like that.

LIAM: What about weaponry in that pile of shit?

LAURA: What about all the stuff in that pile of shit?

TRAVIS: You want to rage loot?

MATT: There’s a lot of things in there.

LIAM: I was first on the pile. Are there any weapons in there?

MATT: There are weapons. There are two glaives, polearm glaives. There appear to be a number of pieces of ornamental armor, very beautiful, made of gold and platinum, that were either used for ceremonial reasons or just adorning some sort of popular hall.

MARISHA: Keyleth walks over and pulls out her Hunk of Quall.

SAM: Yeah, Quall it up.

MARISHA: I’m going to Quall it up all over top of the gold, see if anything lights up with my Wi-Fi detector. Since that’s what I feel like it is.

MATT: Strangely enough, no. Nothing seems to glow in the vicinity of the Hunk of Quall.

LIAM: And no other blades?

MATT: There are two glaives. Pulling the list up here. Going through the whole hoard, because it is 11:20, we may pick up the actual looting element at the beginning of next session. We’ll be here for a while if you want to do that.

LAURA: I like the sound of that.

MARISHA: We have to go back and get Fassbender.

LAURA: Yeah, we’re totally going to go back. We’re going to return a lot of this gold to Whiterun. Westruun. All the towns.

SAM: Well, all the gold that we can definitely prove came from Westruun, we’ll bring back.

LAURA: I agree.

SAM: With Westruun markings.

LAURA: All the other gold that’s just sitting around, I mean, we should probably just take to help the battles.

TRAVIS: Plus it would be nice to give Shale some gold to take back to the Herd.

SAM: Who?

TRAVIS: Shale.

SAM: The Herd? I thought the Herd’s– Okay.

TRAVIS: There was a great remnant. The Herd will live again, and with Shale’s wisdom.

MARISHA: There were still a few members of the Herd still alive. A good half dozen.

TRAVIS: Zanror’s baby mama is still preggo.

MARISHA: Yeah, exactly.

LIAM: It’s also very lean times in Westruun. Most of this gold should go back to Westruun.

LAURA: Most of it.

MARISHA: Did we contribute any of our own gold into this pile?

LIAM: That’s back in Westruun.

CHRIS: I can return with the remnants of the Herd and gather up whatever you don’t take.

LAURA: And bring it back to Westruun.

SAM: We’ll divvy it up later.

MARISHA: Let’s divvy it up.

LIAM: If we take most of the gold that came from Westruun, we’re a big pack of assholes.

LAURA: I said we weren’t going to! We’re going to take it back to Westruun.

SAM: You’re a tiny pack of assholes right now.

MARISHA: Is he still tiny? He’s still tiny.

LAURA: Three hours.

LIAM: Probably another two hours.

LAURA: It’s only been an hour? No.

MATT: You have, probably another 20, 30 minutes or so before it fades.

MARISHA: We need Fassbender.

TRAVIS: Keyleth, you’re going to butcher this dragon, right?

MARISHA: Yes. 100 percent. I start going to town on it.

LAURA: Because this is going to be worth a lot of fucking money.

MARISHA: Yeah. Percy, do you have any extra vials? Empty vials for blood?

LAURA: We should get some of the blood and put it in the Bag of Colding.

MARISHA: Hey, Percy! So glad you’re alive and not burning in acid. Do you have any extra vials?

TALIESIN: Do I?

MATT: Checking in your various pieces of equipment you have on you, as opposed to what you have stored elsewhere, you had a few vials. They are a little jangly when you reach for them, and you realize they’ve been crushed.

TALIESIN: We have some empty potion bottles.

LIAM: I hand mine over from the one I gave Vex.

TALIESIN: The one I used as well.

MATT: Go ahead and make a nature check.

MARISHA: I’ll take that 16 for a 27. Nature check, yeah? 27.

MATT: All right. So as you guys are gathering the elements of this dragon’s hoard, gathering the equipment, the art pieces, the relics, all things that were part of this– and it is, especially since you know, as far as dragon hoards go, especially for an ancient dragon, it isn’t huge. And with the recent moving in, you get the idea that this dragon’s true hoard probably exists elsewhere. This was either a temporary lair, or was intended to be the new lair, and the process of transitioning hadn’t quite begun. Most of the gold here seems to have been what was given to Umbrasyl by the Herd once they had taken over Westruun.

LIAM: Maybe he has to give it to Thordak in a dragon pyramid scheme.

LAURA: We don’t find any of those glyphs like there were in–

TALIESIN: We already looked for those.

LAURA: Not the circles, I meant the transportation glyph that we beamed into his–

MATT: That you saw in Krieg’s lair? No. You do know, from having one made by Allura within your keep before, that they take quite some time to ingrain. Dragon’s only really had over a week or so. So, gathering up the materials, the remnants of that hoard, you guys descend down the mountain if you wish, or is there anything else you wish to accomplish within the actual lair?

MARISHA: I want to harvest some scales, some blood, and some teeth.

MATT: Right, based on the roll you made. So we have two empty vials that you managed to acquire.

MARISHA: Plus he had three in his Bag of Holding.

LIAM: Can I help her out?

MATT: Yeah. It’s difficult because, with the nature of Umbrasyl’s death, as well as being a creature that is naturally caustic and acidic in a large portion of its body, there was a mixing of a lot of the blood that has caused it to become impure while vialing it, so you get three vials of the blood that are still pure and viable. Everything else seems to dissolve through the glass upon contact.

LAURA: I can put it in the Bag of Colding, and then it’ll keep it.

TALIESIN: I can assist with any of the cutting, because I’ve got the fuck-all sword.

MARISHA: I hand the three vials of blood to Vex to put in the Bag of Colding.

MATT: Many dragon’s teeth were sundered in the ravaging of Umbrasyl at Grog’s furious storm of axe blade strikes. However, you do manage to harvest from the body, unscathed, 14 ancient black dragon teeth.

MARISHA: We should make some sweet necklaces. Any scales?

MATT: Quite a lot of scales here, yes. It’s going to take you a long time to harvest what you can off this body. A lot of the areas have been damaged from the various wounds and such. How much time do you want to spend to harvest scales?

LIAM: Do you think we should just camp here for the night?

TALIESIN: We could just camp here for the night.

LAURA: As long as the other dragons don’t realize that we’ve just done this. Would I know if they would know?

MATT: You have no idea.

LAURA: I don’t know if it’s actually safe to just hang out in this dragon’s lair.

TALIESIN: You know what we can do, is we can make the magic mansion in that cave off to the side, in the very back of it.

LAURA: That’s a wonderful idea.

ASHLEY: And that magic trap, we didn’t set it off.

TALIESIN: We haven’t sprung the magic trap, either, so that’s just none the wiser.

SAM: Okay.

MARISHA: All right. I’ll spend as much time then, I’ll stay up as long as I can throughout the night. If I hear any disturbances I’ll come back to the mansion.

TALIESIN: I’ll help.

CHRIS: Once we get to the mansion, Shale will bid the group farewell and head down to Westruun to let the rest of the Herd know what’s happened, about the great triumph of the bearded king.

LAURA: Yeah!

MATT: As you come down and–

CHRIS: I’m killed by an owlbear.

MATT: Ravaged and eaten horribly in the Bramblewood, never to be seen again!

CHRIS: Nobody hears the tale of the bearded king!

TRAVIS: Son of a bitch!

TALIESIN: Forever, the Herd will just say, Grog, that asshole.

MARISHA: Such a dick.

MATT: No, you come down and as you speak with the remnants of the Herd of Storms, many of which, a number of them did survive the battle, though scarred horribly, and many did lose their life in the battle with Umbrasyl. Zanror, Worra, recovering all right. However, the number’s now thinned down to a simple 12 members of the Herd. As you speak with Zanror, he looks to you and says, “Shale. You live.”

CHRIS: Obviously.

MATT: “Have you word of the mountain? The dragon?”

CHRIS: I toss one of its teeth at him. He will trouble us no more. He is a bygone.

MATT: “Good. Good.” He takes the tooth and gives it to Worra. “Well.”

CHRIS: It’s the work of those adventurers.

MATT: “Vox Machina, they call themselves.”

CHRIS: They are truly great.

MATT: “Good. We need greatness in this world. We–”

CHRIS: Don’t be so glum, you old fool.

MATT: He grins to himself.

CHRIS: This is a day of glory. A great battle has been won.

MATT: “It is. But there’s been a lot of cost in it, too.”

CHRIS: There’s always cost. We will all die, it just depends on how. We died fighting a dragon, and we lived fighting a dragon. What more do you want? That’s the smile I want to see.

MATT: “I’m glad you’re back, Shale. Your wisdom stays strong.”

CHRIS: Well, now that Kevdak’s out of the way, maybe people will listen to what I have to say for a change.

MATT: “We’ve been talking here. I think the Herd of Storms died in battle with the dragon. There’s not many of us left.”

CHRIS: But there are other herds.

MATT: “There are. And while we lost the Rivermaw, I think maybe it’s time we went and joined them.”

CHRIS: I like that idea.

MATT: “They’re damper lands. Better for raising children. Take a break from all this warring and go back to a simple life. Will you come with us, Shale?”

CHRIS: Of course.

MATT: “Good. We’ll set out tomorrow. At dawn, we plan.”

SAM: He’s learned!

MATT: You guys set up for the evening, resting your sore, bruised bodies, smelling the ruin of the black dragon as you prepare for an evening’s rest, well-earned. We will close this evening’s session. Well fought, guys!

TRAVIS: Holy shit.

MARISHA: We didn’t die!

LIAM: Scanlan, is there a hot springs in this mansion?

SAM: There can be whatever you want.

LIAM: We need to bathe, soak. We need a good soak to get the stink off.

MATT: It’s amazing. You imagine why he didn’t mention it before, but Scanlan does indeed have a hot spring in his magnificent mansion.

TRAVIS: It’s amazing!

MATT: No, it’s magnificent. Guys, a big thank you and round of applause for Chris Perkins!

CHRIS: Thanks for having me! It’s a great honor to be here. Thank you.

MATT: All right, well. We’ll pick this back up again next week on Thursday to see what the next adventure holds for Vox Machina now that one of the four Conclave remaining have fallen! I can tell you with the death of one dragon, I doubt the others, upon hearing of it, will be anywhere near as careless as Umbrasyl was. But there are more Vestiges to find, more allies to acquire. Who knows what other dangers lie in the realms of Tal'Dorei and beyond, outside of the Conclave’s threat? We shall see in the weeks to come. Guys, thank you so much for staying up with us tonight. Rest well, and is it Thursday yet? See you guys next week.

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