Transcript:Into the Frostweald

List of Transcripts

Pre-Show
MATT: Hello everybody! Welcome to tonight’s episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and roll dice and play Dungeons & Dragons.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we do.

MATT: My name is Matthew Mercer. I am the Dungeon Master of the show. Before we get started, let’s go ahead and run through our announcements for the evening. First, I wanted to let you guys know that tonight– tomorrow, I’m sorry. Tomorrow is the last day to preorder your Dagger Dagger Dagger shirt. Is it also the last day to do the Strongjaw Ale?

LAURA: It is!

MATT: Strongjaw Ale and Dagger Dagger Dagger shirts.

TRAVIS: Also ale.

ASHLEY: I need them!

MATT: You do need them.

LAURA: You do. Actually, Ashley, I think I got shirts for you.

MATT: Yeah, we’ve got some shirts held for you.

SAM: Extra large!

TALIESIN: But if you’re not Ashley, you’d better get yourself a shirt.

MATT: Yep. So you have until tomorrow to get those, so go to the Geek and Sundry store to preorder if you’re interested. Yay! Next up, a reminder, me and Marisha are flying out bright and early tomorrow morning to Pittsburgh for Tekko! We’re going to be doing awesome panels on voiceover and gaming and all points nerdy on the Internet in between, as well as signings and autographs and all that fun stuff. So if you’re in the area and you want to find a place that’s warm, we’ll be there in the convention, so hopefully we’ll see you guys over the weekend.

MARISHA: And I went to college there, so I’m going to be finding my old homies and getting drunk.

TALIESIN: Do you have a college sweater that just says “college”? You could really use one.

MARISHA: I went to the performing arts school, and we did make football t-shirts, because we thought it was funny, as our performing arts shirts.

TALIESIN: That sounds like a performing arts joke.

MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: Fascinating.

MATT: Indeed.

MARISHA: Cool story, bro.

MATT: Next up, I get to announce, coming up as part of a celebration for International Tabletop Day and a sponsorship by Pathfinder and Syrinscape, who have been fantastic in getting this program for me in this game as well, we’re going to be doing an event called “Critical Role One Shot” on April 18th, Monday, at 7 to 10 PM. We’re going to be taking over Ivan’s No Survivors slot that evening to run a Pathfinder one-shot that I’ll be running. However, Ivan will actually be playing as a player in that one.

ALL: What?

MATT: I know! What, what? (gunshot) Mind blown. Destroyed. Ivan will be playing. We also will have guesting players of Taliesin and Marisha in that game as well, and we have two special guests that evening who will be playing with us: the illustrious Ashly Burch will be joining us for the evening, and the wonderfully talented Phil Lamarr as well.

SAM: Wait, what? I didn’t know that.

MATT: Yeah! So it’s going to be a fun night playing Pathfinder.

LAURA: When is that, again?

MATT: That is April 18th, Monday at 7 PM, Pacific Time.

TRAVIS: Aren’t taxes due that day?

MATT: When you’re done with your taxes, this is a great way to celebrate.

MARISHA: A great way to celebrate. I’ll be filing an extension, like everybody else.

MATT: It’ll be a fun event, we’ve got some cool surprises set up for the story, and I’m excited about it, so come and join us 7 PM Pacific, Monday, April 18th for Critical Role One Shot. Also, those of you out there who are members of the Nerd Block, or are looking to be, this upcoming, now live, Nerd Block that is going out has a little surprise in there, a little artistic surprise for fans of Critical Role.

SAM: Oh? What is it?

MATT: They’ll have to see.

SAM: Oh, a tiny poop. I’m in.

LAURA: A teeny-tiny poop, just from Sam.

MATT: But yeah, those of you out there who want to check it out, we have a fun little insert there in the box. You get to see if you grab one, so check it out and see if it’s to your liking. Liam, did you want to talk about–?

LIAM: Oh, yeah, hey! You know my love for Wyrmwood Gaming and their boxes. We have these beautiful ones. Lift up a Wyrmwood box.

LAURA: Oh! Oh my goodness.

LIAM: They make great, beautiful boxes. They have all kinds of woods to hold your dice in, and if you use the code “critrole,” you will get free shipping. But also, today, I would like to let you all know that Wyrmwood Gaming has a kickstarter for their Sentinel box. I’m sure I’m forgetting the actual name, but it’s a beautiful box. It’s good for D&D, it’s good for Magic: The Gathering, and it holds cards, it holds dice, there’s a Bluetooth in it so that if you lose it, you can find it.

TRAVIS: Satellites can see it?

LAURA: I wish we had the box in front of us, but go look it up, it’s got this box on the top, and then it separates on the bottom and you can put your dice in the bottom.

LIAM: It’s called the Sentinel deck box. There’s also a version of it called the Vox Machina, which is a premium item, and it’s gorgeous.

TRAVIS: Premium, premium, premium.

LIAM: Premium. But tossing this out, too, if you guys want any of the other Sentinel deck boxes and you want to get the logo etched onto it, that’s also an option. I don’t know if it’s on the site or not, but it will be.

MARISHA: It’s an off-the-menu item.

LAURA: Yeah. Check it out!

LIAM: ‘Twill be there. Gorgeous box.

ASHLEY: That sounds like something Gilmore would sell.

MATT: There you go. Oh, he would. Don’t worry. He would be happy to sell that.

SAM: And because of the Bluetooth feature, the NSA will track your every roll.

MARISHA: You’re now on the Homeland Security list.

MATT: All right. Do we have anything else you guys wanted to announce before we get started?

TRAVIS: That fucking Rogue One trailer! Holy shit!

TALIESIN: I haven’t seen it yet!

TRAVIS: All right. No words. No words. No words!

SAM: Is it like Batman vs. Superman good?

TALIESIN: Don’t set expectations you can’t match.

LAURA: Did you see it, Ashley?

ASHLEY: Yes! Gimme!

TRAVIS: Yeah. All the things.

MATT: I’m sure it’s cool. I haven’t seen it yet.

TRAVIS: Oh, on the break! On the break, on the break.

LAURA: Yeah, we’ll watch it on the break.

MATT: I haven’t had a chance, I’ve been busy working on this shit for you guys!

TRAVIS: What, you don’t just make this stuff up as you go?

MATT: (mock weeping) No, I have to prepare.

TALIESIN: It’s imaginary, how could it be? You just flow with it. Right?

MARISHA: Oh, I thought this was scripted.

LAURA: I’ve been in rehearsal all day for this.

SAM: Hey, Wyrmwood crashed.

LIAM: Wyrmwood crashed? Sorry, Wyrmwood. Or you’re welcome, Wyrmwood.

TALIESIN: I’m Instagramming my Wyrmwood box right now, too.

TRAVIS: Well done. Well done, legion.

SAM: Colbert Nation.

LIAM: I should say, the etching is a new development, so if that’s not happening today, it’ll be there tomorrow-ish.

MARISHA: Yeah, so don’t yell at them. Don’t be like, “Bullshit!”

TRAVIS: It’s either going to be there tomorrow or very soon.

LAURA: Because we literally got an email about it as we were starting.

MATT: Cool. All right.

TRAVIS: Now we go to our deaths.

Part I
MATT: Now, we bring it back. I will ask if we could turn that speaker down a little bit. A little bit more. That’s good. Great. All right, guys. Let’s plug in to the world of Exandria, as we begin tonight’s episode of Critical Role. So, last we left off, the adventuring party of Vox Machina, traversing the lands in search of lost artifacts of wars of old, referred to as the Vestiges of Divergence, in hopes of eventually tearing down and defeating a conclave of chromatic dragons called the Chroma Conclave that have destroyed society all across the continent of Tal'Dorei and beyond, you returned to the outskirts of a city named Westruun that was very important in your early adventures, to find it, from a distance, partially destroyed by the dragon attack but a couple weeks before, and since taken over by what seems to be the remnants, now swelling in power and size, of Grog’s old herd of wandering barbarians and various savages. Having taken the city by force and ruling it with an iron hand, it was also deemed not the right time to face this foe, and as such the party continued venturing southward in the direction of the Frostweald, where somewhere at the base of the Stormpeak Mountains, the mate of Osysa, the gynosphinx you had met in Vasselheim– her mate resides somewhere in this vicinity. That’s all the information you have to go on as you head down towards the frozen forest. So. That’s where we begin. As you guys continue pushing south from Westruun, seeing the distant pillars of dark smoke that slowly drift into the atmosphere disappear as the town itself vanishes over the horizon, you continue to push southward through the open grass fields. You continue traveling for the better part of a day, eventually coming up along the side of the Silvercut Channel, which is the river that comes down and cuts through near Kraghammer to the west of Westruun. It goes past Kymal and then eventually heads down in this direction, towards the Foramere Basin. You guys, travelling fairly quickly, as you’re in your mist forms, which is making up a lot of the normal travel time you would have to worry about here, by the time the sun finally begins to set across the mountains– pay attention, please.

SAM: Yes!

MATT: Sorry.

LIAM: It’s another beholder!

MATT: I’ve got plenty of things I could throw in here if you guys aren’t paying attention!

TALIESIN: That’s not funny.

MATT: No, it’s really funny for me. As you guys continue pushing southward, as the sun slowly begins to set in the distance, you glance over towards the Foramere Basin. You can see, just over to the right, the city of Kymal, which has lights glimmering in the far distance. But what you see by the basin itself is this large lake that is centered in this region just north of the Frostweald. You can see where the two main rivers diverge before heading southward towards the ocean. There’s a smattering of various tents that are clustered right towards the side of the riverbank and the edge of the lake itself. As you continue coasting overhead in your mist forms, you see small trails of smoke from smoldering campfires, clusters of people and families wandering the shore in this small group. You continue going forward?

SAM: I mean, we should check it out.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: You don’t have to, you can keep going.

SAM: It’s a tent city?

MATT: It looks like it, yeah.

LAURA: They’re refugees, probably.

SAM: Hundreds, thousands?

MATT: There’s probably a few dozen, close to maybe 50, 60.

MARISHA: What do the tents look like? Do they look like military encampment tents, or refugee tents?

MATT: You can’t really tell from this distance, especially as the light is beginning to slowly diminish.

TRAVIS: Can we float closer?

LAURA: We float down, we float down.

SAM: Oh, are we still mists?

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: Oh my God.

TRAVIS: That whole description, and yes, we’re still mists.

MATT: As you coast down closer, you get a better look, and yeah, there are about 50, 60 or so people on the outside. You don’t have an idea of how many are inside the tents. Even more, most likely. But these tents are fairly ramshackle, barely standing, the people look destitute. They look like they’re holding onto survival here on the outside of the city. You see a few boats that are going in and out on the shore, probably fishermen. There are a few bonfires that are now starting to kick up as the night’s cold begins to swell in. It looks like this is a fairly “thriving,” a fairly functional refugee camp.

TRAVIS: Well, those that give a fuck, speak up.

LAURA: We can’t, we’re in mist form.

TRAVIS: Then like (hissing) in a direction.

LAURA: (hissing) I think we should help them. Maybe we can –

TALIESIN: (buzzing fart sound)

SAM: Good point.

LAURA: Maybe we can send them back to Whitestone.

TALIESIN: Maybe, if we could talk, which we can’t right now.

LAURA: I float down. Into the trees, outside of the camp.

TALIESIN: I follow.

MATT: Okay. These are open grasslands, there aren’t a lot of trees, and they’re spotted around. There are a few rock formations and small hills, you might be able to get out of sight.

LAURA: Around there.

MATT: So you coast around there and you go back into your physical form. The rest of you follow?

TRAVIS: Tall grass? Low grass?

MATT: It’s probably thigh-length.

LIAM: Following.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we go.

MATT: For you, close to the knee.

LAURA: Near the rocks, so that we’re in camouflage.

MATT: So you guys set down maybe 300 feet from the outside of the nearest part of the camp, reconstitute into your physical forms. At this point, the sun has now disappeared over the horizon and the blues have now gone to orange, to purple, and you can see in the distance the darkness of night is starting to crest over the sky. What do you want to do?

TRAVIS: What are we stopped for? Are we here?

LAURA: No, it looks like a refugee camp, Grog.

TALIESIN: They may have information.

LAURA: People that escaped from Westruun, potentially.

TRAVIS: Oh, really?

LAURA: Yeah. I mean, it’s a large group of people, I’m assuming they came from a city of some sort.

TRAVIS: Hey, Scanlan.

SAM: Oi.

TRAVIS: If we go over there and it gets a little hairy, you’ve still got old magic door, right?

SAM: Old magic doll?

TRAVIS: Hugh Hefner house!

SAM: Oh, yeah, magic door. Yes.

TRAVIS: Magic doll if you have it, too, for later, but yeah.

SAM: I mean, I have a little Pike figurine that I keep with me.

TALIESIN: Oh.

SAM: What, no, it’s a keepsake!

TRAVIS: Yeah, I’m sure it is.

SAM: Why is everything I say creepy?

LIAM: I don’t know, why is it?

LAURA: Maybe we should pop them back to Whitestone. I feel like it might be good, if we find out if they’re hurting. That’s where we’re putting our survivors.

LIAM: They look like they’re hurting.

MARISHA: I couldn’t help with that today.

LAURA: Oh. We could rest overnight, and you could pop them in in the morning?

MARISHA: What time is it?

LIAM: It’s late. Sun’s gone down.

TRAVIS: Super late. Yeah, and if they’re from Westruun–

LAURA: Are you out of all your– oh, mist form.

MARISHA: Mist form got us here.

TALIESIN: It’s worth talking to them at the very least.

TRAVIS: Yeah, Pike and I are from Westruun. If they’re of that village, or that city, I’d like to make sure they’re all right.

MARISHA: Maybe they’re friends.

LAURA: Maybe we’d find Pike’s grandfather.

TRAVIS: Grandfather Wilhelm.

LAURA: Percy, would Whitestone be able to sustain this many more people?

TALIESIN: I think at some point we’re going to have to have that conversation, but for now I think we’ll probably be all right.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

LAURA: All right.

TRAVIS: You’re good for it. You’re rich.

TALIESIN: For now.

LIAM: Here’s an idea. Scanlan, you said that a lot of people can go into your house, yeah?

SAM: I can fit many people into my hole.

LIAM: Could you– (laughs)

MARISHA: I wonder why everything he says is creepy.

LIAM: Could you invite the folk in, and then they live in your hole for a little while, and then when we get to Whitestone, you open your hole and out they come?

SAM: No, not quite.

MARISHA: That’s some cartel shit right there.

TRAVIS: Yeah. We become “Vox Machina: Coyotes.”

LIAM: Scanlan is the mule.

SAM: No, the house is mainly for us and a few guests, for one night at a time.

LAURA: You can’t, like, leave them there.

LIAM: Didn’t you say 100 people, the other day?

SAM: 100 servants are in there. I don’t quite– I haven’t jammed people in there. I don’t know how many it can totally hold.

MARISHA: You mean, you’ve never thrown a party?

MATT: Go ahead and roll an intelligence check

SAM: First roll of the night: Natural 20!

(cheering)

SAM: Wasted it on an intelligence check.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Smile upon us, dice gods!

MATT: Though the magic is new to you, you’ve spent in your first time casting it and a large part of the evening, especially since you realized you weren’t going to have as fun a night as you thought, after the broom had been taken and Vex left your room, learning the intricacies of the spell itself and the pocket dimension that is created. You can fit quite a few people in there. However, it is stationary in its entrance and exit and then once the spell comes to completion after a 24-hour period, it expels anyone and anything that was brought into it, on the spot where it was originally cast.

LIAM: I see.

LAURA: Oh.

TRAVIS: Like gently, or like–

SAM: Like a flush.

TRAVIS: Like (sweetly) “Please leave.” or like (angry) “Get the fuck out!”

LIAM: Is that a yes or a no?

SAM: It’s not a transporting-type spell. It is a temporary shelter, at best.

LIAM: You just don’t want to bring them in.

SAM: I have a cold, cold heart.

(laughter)

SAM: Listen, I’ll consider taking the females in.

TRAVIS: That is very noble of you.

LAURA: So noble, Scanlan.

TRAVIS: I will join him in this charity.

LAURA: Oh, yes.

MARISHA: Well, all right, why don’t we just walk around and talk to these people? Maybe they’re not even interested in being transported. Let’s just find some citizens around.

LAURA: Should we make sure they’re actually innocent, nice people?

MARISHA: We should probably do that as well, not like a band of thieves. Bandits.

LAURA: Stealth ahead.

TRAVIS: That could be fun.

LAURA: Can I sneak ahead and just listen to them?

SAM: Yes, sneaking up on them will definitely put them on our side.

LAURA: Hey, like 100 yards out. I just want to hear what they’re saying.

SAM: All right, all right.

LIAM: She can read lips so she doesn’t even get that close.

LAURA: It’s pretty dark, though. But I do have good darkvision.

MATT: This is true. As the night takes over, it’s still quite a distance to be able to make out a lot of detail. You’d probably have to get closer. But you’re going alone?

TRAVIS: No, twins.

MATT: Twins going together?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Why don’t you both roll a stealth check?

LIAM: Oh, I guess I’m going then.

TALIESIN: I’m keeping an eye also, to see if anything– From a great distance, I’m just keeping an eye out.

LAURA: We’re in the woods, right?

MATT: No. You are in the plains.

SAM: There are no woods, tall grasses

LAURA: Just kidding, we’re in the grasslands.

LIAM: Grass, grass. 32.

TRAVIS: I’ll roll this big bastard.

TALIESIN: White manna, not green manna.

LAURA: 18.

MATT: All right.

SAM: I’m hiding in a tree.

MATT: There’s no– (annoyed hmm)

LAURA: There’s no–

(laughter)

TRAVIS: “There’s no (grumbles)”

SAM: The grass to me is like a tree

MATT: This is true, actually. It’s more of a rose bush. So as you guys push forward, pushing and stalking through the grass, you come to about 40, 50 feet outside. And there’s a little bit of chatter, it’s hard to make out at this distance but the people seem to, not necessarily be jovial. Almost like they’ve accepted the circumstances and are just surviving it for the time being. There are a few individuals that are armed, though the armor itself seems patchwork, or you know, not the best or most trained of individuals currently guarding this group of survivors. But there are patrols going around, people keeping a close look, there are torches being lit now as people begin walking–

LAURA: Do we see anyone that we recognize from Westruun?

MATT: Not from this distance.

LAURA: No.

MATT: With your darkvision you can make out the outline of the very, very nearest individuals, the guards in particular. But at this distance, nobody catches your eye that you’d be able to make out much detail on, that you would recognize.

LIAM: Can we just sit for five or ten minutes?

LAURA: Well, the guards are coming through with torches, I don’t want them to find us and think we’re spies.

LIAM: But we are.

LAURA: Yeah, but I don’t want them to think that.

LIAM: But we are.

LAURA: Yeah. I think you can stay ‘cause you’re more hidden than I am. I’m going to go back to the group.

LIAM: All right.

LAURA: I feel like they’re going to see me.

LIAM: All right.

MATT: (chuckling) You don’t know that. As far as you know, you’re so hidden.

LAURA: “I’m so hidden.” Shit.

TRAVIS: Come on.

LAURA: All right, all right, all right. Just a second.

LIAM: I’m just going to stay here for a couple of minutes longer. Wait, you said they were coming our direction or they’re just– ?

MATT: No, they’re just wandering. Just patrolling

LAURA: Oh all right.

LIAM: You’re paranoid!

LAURA: Okay, fine fine fine fine.

LIAM: Let me listen for a bit.

MATT: Okay. I’ll have you both roll perception checks, if you could.

LIAM: All right. 22.

LAURA: 23.

MATT: Okay. You two, at about the same time, focus best you can. You have to scoot a little bit closer once the guard that’s nearest to you passes by. You wait for your moment, scoot up close, get by one of the tents, and look off to the side. There are a few folks that catch your attention a little bit. There’s one that was Elowen Brist, who was the mother of the first child that went missing in Westruun. You see her, with her daughter who’s a little bit older now that you guys helped save her.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

LIAM: All these throwbacks are blowing my mind.

MATT: A little dirty but alive. They wander off. You scan through the crowd, keeping an eye out for the guard as well. No one really catches your attention. You see one older gentleman that walks by, 60s, not completely withered away. But, you know, older but carries himself with much importance. Very expensive clothing, reds and blues. It seems like he’s attempting to hold a social station, even though in his current location, society has crumbled. He doesn’t really catch your attention as anyone you recognize, but the person to the left of him is a very familiar-looking elven man, with long brown hair slicked over and behind his ears. This is Drez Vina, who originally contacted you when you arrived in Westruun.

LAURA: Holy– (whispers) That’s Drez Vina!

LIAM: Yeah, yeah.

MATT: He’s looking a little rough, too. This has not been the kindest time to any of these people.

LAURA: Well, should we go back to the group or tell them to come on in?

LIAM: Do we have to go back to tell them to come on in?

LAURA: We have earrings.

LIAM: Well, yeah, that’s true

LAURA: (whispering) Hey, you guys.

TRAVIS: What?

SAM: What, what what what what?

LAURA: You guys! Hey Percy, pay attention.

TALIESIN: Oh, yeah, yes. Hello. What?

LAURA: Hey, guess who I’m looking at right now?

TALIESIN: Your brother.

LAURA: Well–

SAM: God, you’re so good at that.

LAURA: Drez fucking Vina

MARISHA: (gasps) Drez!

SAM: Wait, remind us, who– ?

LAURA: Drez Vina was that dude that sent us on our very first mission together, you guys.

TALIESIN: Ooh.

MARISHA: Yeah! He protected us, he’s a magic user.

SAM: Oh. I was mostly drunk that time.

LAURA: Yeah, Percy you weren’t there yet.

TALIESIN: Oh, at the Winter’s Crest festival, I remember.

MATT: (laughing) That’s not him at all.

LIAM: No. He was– Drez Vina.

TRAVIS: “That’s not it at all.” (chuckles)

LAURA: Percy, you weren’t there–

MATT: That’s Abjurist Noja.

MARISHA and TALIESIN (in unison): Oh. Abjurist Noja.

LIAM: Drez Vina was the dick. Drez Vina’s a dick.

LAURA: Drez Vina’s the guy. Drez Vina was the asshole.

SAM: Doesn’t he work for someone else?

MATT: He had a Master.

MARISHA: Wait, was he the guy that we stole from, kind of?

LAURA: Hey, keep it down. I don’t know who all can hear over these earrings!

TRAVIS: Oh, did he have the tower with the magical items?

MATT: Here, I should step in here and clarify–

(laughter)

MARISHA: It’s been like three years.

LIAM: This was only three years ago.

MATT: No, I know. Drez Vina came to you under the pretense that he was working for an individual called the Master, he called him his Master, who was interested in hiring your services. Originally sent you into the mage tower of Eskil Ryndarien, the Realmseer, to steal the brass box with the pearl top. However, you did not steal it and instead you ended up befriending the Archmage.

TRAVIS: He let us pick something.

MATT: Yes, he let you pick something from his array of items.

SAM: That’s right!

MATT: Drez then found you guys at your inn, a number of weeks later. And Drez was very unhappy that you both didn’t return with the item, and used a very powerful and expensive object that was part of this endeavor, and never paid it back. So, to pay back your debt, he sent you guys to the Druid Barrow where you had to retrieve this cortex, this magical gem that was embedded in the center of–

MARISHA: And that was where we fought the golem!

MATT: Yep. Where you fought the golem. And you retrieved the cortex successfully, and that’s the last you’ve seen of him.

LAURA: See? He likes us now! We totally helped him.

SAM: But he has magical items–

LAURA: Well, maybe not anymore.

SAM: Had. Well, we should–

LIAM: What was, DM, can you remind me the name of the mother that we spoke to all that time ago?

LAURA: The one you just mentioned.

MATT: Elowen.

LIAM: Elowen? Elowen. I’d rather go talk to her.

MATT: I’m pretty sure, let me check my notes. Yeah, Elowen. Elowen Brist.

LAURA: Do you guys want to just come on in?

SAM: Yes, let’s go in.

TALIESIN: I don’t see what the harm is.

TRAVIS: We go in.

LAURA: Make a nice, pleasant chattering– maybe you should sing, Scanlan, as you approach so that people know we’re nice

SAM: I would love to sing. Oh. Right now? (singing) Sunny days, chasing the dragons away, On our way to where the air is clean, Can you tell me how to kill, How to kill some drag-eens?

MATT: Go ahead and roll a performance check.

SAM: Performance check.

MATT: Yes.

LAURA: What is it? What is it?

SAM: It fell off the table. And it is– a six. But plus 13.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Wait– plus 14.

MATT: Plus 14? Okay. Okay, so, as you guys begin strolling up, immediately you see torches (fire sounds).

LIAM: Hands up. No weapons.

MATT: You see guards come forward, two of them with nocked crossbows. “Who goes there?

LAURA: Hey, you guys!

MATT: And they don’t really recognize– they’re all looking at this source of singing. Crossbows–

SAM: (singing) It’s a magic carpet ride. Except we burned our magic carpet so we can’t–

(laughter)

MATT: The guards slowly drop their crossbows. “What’s your business?”

TRAVIS: Hey, hey, that’s not necessary. We’re friends.

MATT: “We’ve already got enough mouths to feed. Move along.”

TRAVIS: No, we’re not looking for food. We’re here to provide aid if we can, if it’s in need, if people need our help.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

TRAVIS: Oh, shit.

SAM: Persuasion? You?

LAURA: Grog–

TRAVIS: Ten.

MATT: While their crossbows are notched, they haven’t lowered them completely, they’re still on guard and still nervous of your approach.

LIAM: We also think there’s a woman with you named Elowen. She knows us. We’d like to speak to her. We’ll wait here.

MATT: One of them glances over at the other one. One of the guards who was paying attention walks away and they all raise their crossbows again and just train them on you guys for the next few minutes.

TRAVIS: I mean, it’s really not necessary. Even if you were to loose those, it would just be a tickle. I mean, trust me, we come from Westruun, all right?

LAURA: Don’t you remember us? In Westruun?

TRAVIS: Yeah. Winter’s Crest festival?

LAURA: Vox Machina?

TRAVIS: Grog? Pike? Wilhelm?

MATT: One of the guards takes a moment and gives you an eye and just goes– “I remember seeing you around town. You were– Oh man, jeez, it’s good to see you.”

TRAVIS: Right? I’m as psyched about all this–

MATT: “Sorry if I gave you any trouble back in the day. I was young and stupid.”

SAM: Why don’t you all lower your crossbows, for a second?

MATT: “I mean no offense, but we’re very guarded with your kind at the moment.”

TRAVIS: (inhales) Right. Yeah, yeah, understandable. Right. We just actually came from Westruun. It seems to be a bit occupied at the moment.

MARISHA: And he’s with us. So– He’s not with them.

LAURA. He’s different than the other guys, see? He’s got a beard.

TRAVIS: No, I, listen. It came about my own. I just got the genetics for it. (stage-whispers) Would you shut up?

MATT: At which point the guard that had left comes back with Elowen. She walks up with her tightly braided reddish hair with a little bit of grey on the sides, that probably has come since the last time you’ve seen her and the experience of having her child gone so long. It’s taken a physical toll on her. But there is a smile on her face. Now she looks over and focuses her eyes–

LIAM: Elowen!

MATT: “That’s them! That’s them! Let them in, let them in.” And she runs forward immediately and gives a big hug to you, Vex.

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: And starts moving through, and, you know, just this big smile and surprise. And you can see her little boy Simon come up to the side.

ALL: Oh! Simon!

MATT: Simon, who last time you saw, you were retrieving him from the pocket dimension that the Dread Emperor had called his domain. At which point, there’s a few quick pleasantries, as she says hello again. She says: “Please, please come in. Please. It’s fine. They’re trustworthy.” And the guards nod. And they follow behind, not in an aggressive way but just in a being-careful kind of way. So you have two people, two armed individuals flanking you the entire walk that you guys are doing, but it’s at ease.

MARISHA: Keyleth goes up to Simon.

MATT: “Hi!”

MARISHA: How old are you now?

MATT: “This many– ” He puts up nine fingers.

MARISHA: You’ve grown up so well.

MATT: “Thank you.”

MARISHA: And I just give him a big hug.

MATT: He freezes up. He’s gotten a little shy at the interaction.

LIAM: I kneel down next to him and I say: do you want to see something cool? Look at this. And I take off the serpent belt. And– (snake hisses)

SAM: Oh, Jesus.

LIAM: And I put him around my neck. I named him after you.

(laughter)

MATT: “Really?”

LIAM: He’s my pet. Do you want to, he’s gentle as a lamb. Do you want to tickle his neck?

MATT: “Yes.”

(laughter)

LIAM: Yeah. Here, you hold him. I set it down around his neck. Don’t worry. Nothing’s going to happen. It’s fine.

MATT: He locks up again. Snakes and women have the same reaction to this poor little boy.

LIAM: Simon, fart in his ear. Go ahead and fart in his ear.

MATT: He gives you a stern look. And the snake just wraps around him for a second.

MARISHA: Keyleth does a little wind gust and goes (poof).

MATT: He goes (giggles) and starts laughing. Reaches up and rubs his ear from the tickle.

LIAM: It’s good to see you again, kiddo. Come here, Simon Jr. I’ll put him back, now.

MATT: He has a big smile on his face now. “That’s so cool.”

LAURA: While that was happening, I pulled aside his mother. Is this everyone that made it out of Westruun?

MATT: (sighs) “Well, we’re one group. Many went to Kymal, but they’re at capacity now, and based on many of the farming fields that were destroyed or burned by the dragon ransacking, there’s only so much food to go around, so they had to turn us away. But there were some small farming communities along the river that were kind enough to take us in and we’re… we’re getting by.”

LAURA: But you’re searching for a home?

MATT: “Hoping to find out if anything takes care of the problems in Westruun. You should probably talk to Cornelius. I don’t know the details of everything happening.”

LAURA: Cornelius. Is he the man I saw in the finer robes?

MATT: “No, no. Cornelius is rather– he’s not very well-dressed. He–” And she scratches her head. “He used to be the bookbinder in Westruun but when everything fell apart, he rose up and took the lead in keeping everyone safe and so, I mean, he won’t say it, but we kind of look to him as a leader for now.”

LAURA: Did he work in the Cobalt Reserve?

MATT: “I think he did business with them, but I don’t think he worked directly with.”

LAURA: Oh, okay.

MATT: “Here. Let me take you.”

LAURA: Oh, wonderful.

MATT: She walks over and, as you guys are talking to Simon, she scoops Simon up and pulls him to her side and gives you guys a smile of acknowledgement. “Come,” and leads you guys–

LAURA: We’re meeting Cornelius.

SAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: (softly) Who’s Cornelius?

LAURA: He’s a bookbinder.

TRAVIS: Never heard of him.

MATT: You guys are led through. Most of the folks stop what they’re doing and pay attention. Some look wary and guarded. Others, you see their faces brighten up as they begin to connect the dots between the whispers they’ve heard of Vox Machina throughout the landscape and the individuals walking through. Most everyone seems to have a somewhat visceral emotional reaction once Grog passes by. It does catch you. You know, as a person who has always stuck out against the society as it was, and you’ve worked hard to a degree to get some respect, especially in that city. Having so many eyes on you, and you can feel the, while unearned from your standpoint, the heaps of hatred that are thrust upon you by how you look right now is uncomfortable. Eventually, the guards and Elowen bring you guys up to a central tent around what looks like a larger bonfire in the center where a lot of people are starting to bring their big nets of fish over and starting to divvy it out and set up small cooking arrangements so that people for the evening can have their dinner. She walks up to the edge of tent, speaks to one of the guards, mentions you guys and your wanting to talk to Cornelius. The guard leans in, shouts off to the side, “Cornelius, you’ve got some visitors. Is "that okay?” A voice muffles through, “That’s fine. Go ahead and let them in.” The guard pulls open the tent, and at this point Elowen says, “I’m going to go get my son some food. If you need anything, just ask around.”

LIAM: We’ll see you again.

MATT: “Thank you guys, again.” She rubs Simon’s head and walks off. And as she walks off with him, he keeps looking over his shoulder at you the whole time, with a big smile on his face. You guys walk into the tent, and it smells like a tent that’s been lived in for a couple weeks. The interior’s not fancy by any means. It’s blankets and burlap, and whatever functions to guard against the relatively muddy shores of the river. And you get a sense that most places here, just because of the landscape and how close it is to the river, mud is tracked everywhere. So it’s mostly caked ground. There is a small cot on the far edge and there is a table set up and some elements of dried fish that are just being pulled from a sack on the side. And there are two guards, and you can see what appears to be Cornelius coming to greet you, as you enter. A man in his mid-40’s, blondish hair with a scruffy, unkempt beard. You get the sense that he’s a working man. His hands look calloused. He’s got a layer of just dirt and grime across his brow that tells you he’s definitely one who gets in the thick of it when it’s needed. And you can see why in this circumstance people put trust into a person that can rise up amongst all the chaos from simple means and prove themselves to want to help everybody. And in the moment he smiles, you immediately see also why people follow him. He’s got this bright, toothy, white smile, and he puts his hand out immediately to each of you. “Pleasure to meet you. I’m Cornelius.”

LAURA: Vex'ahlia.

MATT: “So, I’m told that you all are here to talk to me? What’s this about?”

SAM: We know that you’ve been driven out of your homes by an attack of dragon or dragons. How many have menaced your city?

MATT: “Well, counts all say that we have upwards of three dragons that came through here and tore into this city and– They were gone for a while, and we’d hoped they weren’t going to return, but that’s when–” He kinda looks over to you, Grog. “That’s when the savages came in and took what was left. And I mean no offense to that. I recognize you; I’ve seen you around the town before. You seem like you’re not like your ilk.”

TRAVIS: No. No, I’m sorry, I don’t know who you are.

MATT: “That’s okay. No one really knows who I am and I want to keep it that way, when all this blows over.”

TRAVIS: Understandable.

MATT: “Don’t like all the attention.”

TALIESIN: How long have you been nomadic for?

MATT: “We’re going into our second week now, I think. We sent a few of our most able-bodied up north in hopes of trying to figure out if the city was safe to return to, and, well, only a few made it back, and those that did said it was a bloodbath.”

LAURA: It’s quite dangerous there right now.

MATT: “Yeah.”

TRAVIS: How many do you have here, in your encampment with you?

MATT: “Let’s see.” He kind of takes a moment to think and does couple marks on the dirt in front of him to do a count. You can see he’s not a very numbers-guided person.

TRAVIS: I like him.

(laughter)

MATT: “I’d say we got probably about close to 60, 70 people left. We used to have more. Then we lost the scouting parties up north and, well, these past four days we’ve had a few of these orcish fuckers been raiding the outskirts of our camp every night and taking goods, people–”

MARISHA: What’s your current destination?

MATT: “Hah, we got none. We’re just staying here and staying alive.”

MARISHA: And what made you camp out here?

MATT: “Fish, mainly. I mean, all the farming grounds are destroyed or they’re being guarded currently, and there’s no space for us in Kymal. We can keep going east, but–”

TRAVIS: If I could be selfish for a moment. Have you seen Wilhand? Pike, Pike Trickfoot. Her grandfather.

LAURA: A small, older gnome?

MATT: “We got a few older gnomes from the city. I don’t think we have any among us though, no.”

TRAVIS: Fine. Thought I’d ask.

LIAM: If we could help you relocate quite a ways away, would you be open to that?

MATT: “How do you mean?”

LAURA: There’s a city. A lot of the refugees from other cities that have been destroyed by the dragons are finding their way there and–

MARISHA: Percy actually has family who’s in charge there.

LAURA: We could give you safe passage.

TALIESIN: Possibly find you someplace to work.

LAURA: Very quick, safe passage.

MARISHA: Can they account for 70 extra people in Whitestone?

TALIESIN: We lost a lot during the attack with the Briarwoods.

MARISHA: Right.

TALIESIN: There’s room, but there’s only– We can maybe make room for a few more.

LAURA: There’s farmland, there are some empty buildings.

MATT: “I appreciate the offer, and–”

MARISHA: It hasn’t been touched by dragons yet.

MATT: “Hah. 'Yet.’”

MARISHA: Yet.

MATT: “I tell you what. We greatly appreciate the offer, and we’re liable to take you up on that at some point in the near future. But right now, we have too many of our people that are unaccounted for to the south. We got a couple scouting groups who’re trying to find out where these orcs are, where they’ve taken them. See if we can retrieve our own before we go ahead and find a new place to live.”

SAM: How many are missing right now?

MATT: “Well, we lost 11 in the last few nights of exchange, to blade, and we’ve lost about nine to the actual bands themselves, so. There’s nine unaccounted for. We’re hoping–”

SAM: If we found them, would you be more likely to take your people to somewhere safe?

MARISHA: And what is necessarily stopping you from at least sending a handful of women and children ahead? Families that don’t need to be nomadic.

MATT: “Do you have the means to keep them safe for that kind of travel? That’s a long way, up to Whitestone. We don’t have the guards to keep them up on that.”

LAURA: We have very safe means of travel.

TALIESIN: A shortcut, one would say.

MARISHA: They’d be there in an instant.

MATT: “I don’t know anything about any of that weird magic stuff, but you seem like a reliable group.”

LIAM: You can tell we’re a motley bunch of assholes. We’ve seen shit and we’ve done shit and we can do shit.

MATT: “Ain’t that the truth. Well–”

TALIESIN: We’d also like to talk to you, perhaps, to see if you’ve seen some shit. We’re actually looking for something out here.

LAURA: Oh.

LIAM: Are we?

TALIESIN: We are. Well, you’ve been traveling, we’re looking for a creature who may have what we need to help defeat these dragons.

LAURA: Possibly a bit deeper into the Frostweald.

MATT: “Into the Frostweald?”

TALIESIN: Yes.

MATT: “That’s where we’re thinking our scouts are saying these orcs are holed up, anyway.”

LAURA: Really?

TALIESIN: That’s useful.

MATT: “At least, that’s where we’ve been sending our folk. And follow them out there. Only one group went in after them and they never came back, so–”

MARISHA: No one’s returned who’s come back?

MATT: “Oh, we’ve gotten one group that came back. That’s how we know they’re there. But they were just a scouting party. They got to the outskirts and came back.”

MARISHA: Can we speak to them?

MATT: “I think they’re out right now, actually. Going to get more information. Sorry.”

TALIESIN: Well, that works out well, then. We can go up that direction, perhaps take care of this problem, possibly.

LAURA: Yes.

TALIESIN: It’s on the way.

TRAVIS: I wouldn’t mind a good stretch.

LAURA: Kill some orc.

TALIESIN: I could use some breathing.

MARISHA: Do you know your way around the Frostweald at all?

MATT: “Can’t say I do. But I do have some stake in this personally, if you don’t mind me asking. We don’t have much to offer you, at all, really, other than my gratitude. Tell of a few friends of ours that’ve found their way wherever these savage creatures are stationed. One of the individuals that was taken in a raid two nights ago was my brother, Cyrus. Don’t know if he’s still amongst the living, but if you are indeed planning on taking a look at where these orcs are and bring folks back safe, if you could just keep an eye out for him?”

LIAM: Well, I’ll tell you, in times like these, it will feel good to be able to do a bit of good.

TALIESIN: Hear, hear.

LAURA: What does your brother look like?

MATT: “He’s about 15 years younger than me. Shaggy brown hair, bit of a puffy goatee. He looks like a lazy man. He is a lazy man, but I love him. If you’re looking for someone who’s hiding in the corner, shaking in their boots, it’s probably him.”

LAURA: Understood.

TRAVIS: Check the corners.

MATT: “It’s his defense mechanism.”

LAURA: (laughs) A very safe one.

MATT: “I hope.” His eyes go a little colder at that moment. “I hope.”

LAURA: Well, we’ve been to the Frostweald before. I’m not afraid to go in there again.

MARISHA: No.

TALIESIN: I say we take the evening to rest, and first thing in the morning, head out.

LAURA: Would there be any injured members of your camp that would want to head out in the morning to Whitestone? Somebody that needs any medical attention?

MATT: “We’ve got plenty of folks who aren’t feeling too well. Illness and disease, unfortunately, tend to go hand-in-hand with these type of nomadic lifestyles. We can probably– about seven or eight people that could use some relatively immediate attention. Couple survivors of the recent raids. If you can indeed do this, you might be saving some lives, here.”

MARISHA: Are we camping the rest of the night?

TALIESIN: Yes.

LIAM: That’s wise.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we promise you no one will bother you tonight.

MARISHA: Question. Question. Can I do my Transport via Plants as a ritual cast to not burn a slot level?

MATT: Nope.

MARISHA: That’s what I thought.

MATT: It would say it next to the spell. Ritual.

MARISHA: That’s what I thought. Okay. Keyleth spends the rest of the evening burning up my remainder spell slots to do curing on those who need it.

MATT: Okay. You guys are given a relatively ramshackle tent in which you can sleep for the evening, cooked fish– that’s about all they have to offer– with a few leftover potatoes that appear to have been recently either located amongst their remaining crates, you have no idea, but a passable meal is presented if you’d like, and a place that has cloth over your head.

TRAVIS: No, I don’t need to sleep tonight. I’ll be on the watch.

SAM: Boy.

(laughter)

LAURA: Should we scour the camp for her grandfather?

TALIESIN: I’m sleeping tonight. I don’t know what’s wrong with him.

LAURA: I know he said there were no gnomes, but–

TRAVIS: There’s only 60 people. I feel like he’d know with 60.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: That’s like this many, like–

LIAM: And it’s not a lot of gnomes. I’m assuming it’s a handful of gnomes.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: Right. I just, I don’t know. I wish Pike were here.

TRAVIS: Yeah, me too.

LIAM: Always wish Pike was here.

MATT: You do recall, last time you were in Whitestone, you left the other half of your gatestone with Pike.

TALIESIN: I’ll write a letter.

MARISHA: We’ll write a letter.

TALIESIN: I’ll write a letter that will travel with them to Whitestone and–

SAM: Oh.

MARISHA: Ooh, that’s a good idea.

LAURA: That’s wonderful, and she can pop over.

TALIESIN: Mm-hm. Take about a minute.

TRAVIS: Really?

MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: Wait, we’d have to send them tonight, though.

TALIESIN: No, in the morning.

LAURA: They could go in the morning and just go find her immediately.

MARISHA: Yeah, could task someone to find her immediately and then, as soon as she gets the message, she’ll beam to us.

SAM: All right.

LIAM: I’ve still got the other one. Right here.

TRAVIS: Great. We take the night, then.

LAURA: All right.

TALIESIN: I write a letter to my sister, letting her know that I do apologize that we’re sending more people, but it’s necessary, and I write her a letter insisting that Pike be sent here by stone immediately.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: (singing) D-E-A-R C-A-S-S, how are you? I’m fine.

LAURA: What the fuck are you singing?

TALIESIN: (singing) Everybody else is too!

LIAM: Wow! You know what I’m doing!

TRAVIS: Holy shit, what the fuck just happened?

LAURA: What was that?

TALIESIN: You are a nerd!

LIAM: A theatre nerd, yeah.

TALIESIN: Yeah, you are a theatre nerd.

LAURA: Wow.

LIAM: Secret Garden, ladies and gentlemen.

TALIESIN: Secret Garden: The Musical. It’s magical.

LIAM: Can we have the break so Taliesin and I can go make out in the other room?

MATT: Don’t go on break for that! Just move your seating arrangement.

TALIESIN: And suddenly the YouTube hits just go through the roof.

(laughter)

SAM: What injured people are going back? Have we met these people yet? Can we meet them?

MATT: You haven’t met them, no.

LAURA: Let’s go find the injured.

MATT: You guys are led with Keyleth as well. There are two armed guards that are hobbling their way through their patrols tonight as they’ve been wounded in the previous orc raid that happened the couple nights beforehand. There are a number of just relatively sick people. Couple of children. Whether it be having to eat whatever was around to stay alive but some of the food had spoiled in travel, or just catching disease as when you have clusters of people in cold environments, especially cold, wet environments like this tonight. It does tend to happen. Nothing seriously life-threatening, but, you know, definitely worrisome.

SAM: I try to find the one who’s the most able-bodied. Right? We’re going to need someone to go find Pike or deliver a message, right?

LAURA: Yes.

TALIESIN: It’s going to be whoever’s organizing it.

SAM: Is someone going who’s not injured to transport these people?

MATT: Possibly. And you can organize whoever you’d like. Someone you know, you could bring along.

MARISHA: Well, I start attending to the children first.

MATT: Okay. So you tend to the children, helping them feel comfortable, deal with any wounds, scrapes, relative inconveniences, and it’s easy enough for you to take a moment to cure disease if need be.

LAURA: Can we find any families with children and maybe see if there’s able bodies in there that we could send through?

MATT: Okay. Yeah, you manage to– and with Elowen and her son Simon as well–

LAURA: Yes. Maybe Elowen could go?

TALIESIN: Elowen would be perfect.

MARISHA: Well, remember, we were able to get about 25 or so people through last time with the spell.

LAURA: How many sick people are there?

MATT: You see about seven or eight people that could use it.

LAURA: Perfect.

MATT: So you can get a bunch of other folks through as well.

MARISHA: Okay.

LAURA: I talk to Elowen and ask if she can go find Pike in the morning, if she wants to go through, and all that kind of stuff.

MATT: “I’d be happy to, I–”

SAM: You remember what Pike looks like?

MATT: “Yeah. About your size, lightish hair–”

SAM: Hair the color of the sunset, eyes like waves that crash in the night, breasts, supple, firm–

TRAVIS: Okay, Scanlan. Scanlan.

ASHLEY: True, true, true.

(laughter)

MATT: “Right. Yes, I remember. I’ll find her, yes.”

SAM: Smell of morning dew as it touches–

MATT: She begins to cover Simon’s ears.

(laughter)

MATT: “All right, I think we should turn in for the evening, but yes, I’ll be happy to take care of it.”

LIAM: Also of note, you’re going to be going through a tree.

MATT: “What?”

LIAM: Just go with it. You’re going to be–

MARISHA: Well, you know, you didn’t have to tell them that now. Could’ve just let it be a surprise.

LAURA: It’s really fun, actually.

LIAM: It’s kind of frightening, though, if you don’t know it’s coming.

LAURA: You’ll pop right out in Whitestone. It’s amazing.

LIAM: It’s still a little weird for me, to be honest.

MARISHA: Is it? Okay, that’s good to know.

MATT: “All right. All right.” So, as the evening comes to completion, you’re taking guard for the course of the evening.

LAURA: I pop Trinket out and I sleep on him.

TRAVIS: Very attentive.

MATT: (bear sound) He curls up.

LAURA: Hugs and hugs.

MATT: Yeah. Warm, fuzzy. Trinket makes for a very good bed for one.

LAURA: Yes.

LIAM: I’m going to curl into the butt end, which is all I get. All I ever got while we were traveling.

LAURA: Yeah. He farts on you all the time.

LIAM: I fart on him all the time.

MATT: It’s just a fart exchange. Back and forth, forever.

LIAM: Bada-lang-lang-lang-lang-lang-lang-lang.

MATT: (laughs) That got weird. Did you want to do anything for the evening?

TRAVIS: No.

MATT: Okay. Make a perception check.

SAM: Oh boy.

LIAM: Oh crud. Big two!

TRAVIS: Big watch, big watch. Nine!

LAURA: Ey-oh!

LIAM: Ey-oh! (exploding sounds)

MATT: Okay. All right. The evening goes by without a hitch.

(groans)

LAURA: What would you have seen? What would you have seen?

MATT: You all come to consciousness. You eventually get your rest as well for the evening.

MARISHA: What didn’t you see? Tell me what you didn’t see.

MATT: At this point, the tent city is back to a bustling sound of folks going about their business for the day, what kind of business that can be done. The people that you’ve requested be sent over to Whitestone have been gathered on the outside, the western side of this small city area, and some of the guards there are prepared to greet you in preparation for sending these people over.

SAM: Keyleth, before we do this, there are no trees here.

MARISHA: What? What do you mean? Are there trees here?

MATT: No. It’s a plain. I mean, there are the occasional small tree, scattered in clusters around, but you’re in the grasslands.

MARISHA: I thought we were on the edge of a forest.

SAM: There’s no forest here.

MATT: The forest is south of you guys.

LAURA: We’ve got to walk them to the forest.

MARISHA: How fucking far are trees?

MATT: I’d say, probably–

SAM: Four days’ journey.

MATT: No, from this area, it’s most of a day’s travel. There are trees closer, but the forest is that far.

MARISHA: I just need a tree to fit people through. I need a person-width tree.

SAM: A giant tree.

MATT: To find a tree large enough to do this is probably going to be about two hours’ walking distance.

LAURA: Okay, we can walk for two hours.

MARISHA: That’s a nice morning hike.

LAURA: You know what, I’m going to fly up. I’m going to (hacking spit) and fly up and find a fucking tree.

SAM: Oh, you’re going to scout?

LAURA: I’m going to scout for a tree.

MATT: All right. Go ahead and make a perception check.

TRAVIS: Why did you pick that as the word?

LAURA: I didn’t think about it. I forgot.

TALIESIN: That was a great decision.

LAURA: 23.

MATT: 23. You find, actually, hiding just around the bend of a series of small hills that butt up against the southwestern side of the Foramere Basin, there is a small cluster of trees, one of which is the largest of the group, that may function as a function of this that is only about a 30-minute walk from these.

MARISHA: That’s doable. There we go.

LAURA: Fly back down and I tell them. I look along the path, though, and make sure it’s safe, the walking back. Is it okay?

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: Hopefully nobody saw the comely half-elf flying through the bright blue sky.

LAURA: I wear turquoise to blend in with the blue surroundings.

MATT: You didn’t blend in too well, as when you crested over, a number of the families and kids that were prepared were pointing up. “Mom, she’s flying!” People were excited to see you take off into the distance. It was quite a display. Well done.

LAURA: I do some circles around and wave.

LIAM: Maybe you can join Dr. Dranzel in the circus.

LAURA: I hang off of it as I come down, like woo! And then come back up.

MATT: Go ahead and roll a dexterity check.

LAURA: Dexterity or acrobatics?

MATT: Dexterity.

LAURA: Damn it.

TRAVIS: Outstanding.

LAURA: I said as I come down. It was low. I was low.

MATT: So as Vex takes a moment to do some unique tricks with her elaborate and long-running experience directing brooms across the sky, she gets a bit cocky and does a “look, ma, no hands” moment. However, in doing so, the broom sputters out from under the grasp of her legs, and suddenly goes limp as it begins to fall almost as fast as you are, as you both begin to plummet.

LAURA: I grab for it! And (hacking spit) as I’m grabbing for it.

LIAM: You can’t fight the power of the one.

MATT: Unfortunately, you don’t have any momentum to go forward, and it’s already coasted about 15, 20 feet away from you, and there’s nowhere to swim. All the kids are like, “Yay!” Cheering, and all of a sudden you start falling, and they go (screaming). And starts yelling.

TALIESIN: Which child in the crowd is going to become Robin? I’m so excited.

MATT: I want you to go ahead and roll an acrobatics check.

TALIESIN: This is how we make a vigilante.

LAURA: Okay, okay. 25.

MATT: 25, okay. So you only suffer nine points of falling damage as you hit the ground and do a tumble, land arms out and catch the broom, smiling amongst the serious pain in your legs and back.

LAURA: I’ll bet you thought I was really falling!

MATT: All the kids are like, “Yay!” And start cheering, clapping. Even the parents start clapping. The guards start clapping, like, “That was genuinely impressive.” Played it off.

TRAVIS: Blood trickles out of the ear from the brain trauma.

(laughter)

SAM: Does the broom just fall, or does it shoot off like a missile?

MATT: It shoots off for a second, carrying the momentum of the propulsion, and then it falls limp as it no longer has the immediate connection with the person. But she did catch it after she tumbled.

SAM: Oh, okay, that’s cool.

TALIESIN: Working on it.

LAURA: I’m going to work on that trick, you guys, and it’s going to be amazing.

TALIESIN: I think it’s perfect.

LIAM: Blood for the blood gods.

MATT: All right. Finding the tree, you guys walk, and bringing the families and the children and the people that were chosen to go to Whitestone, Keyleth, you create your Transport via Plants spell. (whoosh) The doorway opens, and it barely fits onto this one half-dead willow that’s cresting the side there. Everyone (gasps).

MARISHA: We form the line, the ranks.

LIAM: Climb through, climb through, you have to move quickly.

MARISHA: Go, go, go, go!

MATT: At the very end, Elowen’s the last one through, and she’s holding the letter and she looks back and says, “Promise,” and leaps through right as it closes in the tree. You look toward the guards that were with you guys, who are just watching this whole thing with their eyes wide open.

TRAVIS: Glad you let us in, aren’t you?

MATT: “Yeah.”

MARISHA: I turn to him and I go, high five! Okay.

MATT: At this point, you see two figures walking towards you at this southern forest.

SAM: Two figures walking towards us?

MATT: Towards you guys, rather hastily.

SAM: I draw my whip.

MATT: Okay. Whip’s out. You glance over and, easy enough to see, it is Drez Vina and this older individual, both rushing up. Drez has his hand up. “Excuse me, I’m sorry, pardon me!”

TALIESIN: Yes, hello? Hello?

MATT: “It has been some time, everyone. Pleasure to see you again.”

LAURA: We remember, dear.

MATT: “Wondrous, wondrous. I’m here with–” And as he gestures, the old man puts his hand in front and goes, “Would you please just let me talk for once? Hello. I am–” And he looks over. “Has he been giving you my– I am Master Quall. Pleasure to meet all of you.”

SAM: Quall?

MATT: “I was the collector that had hired you in previous times as Drez has recently made me aware, and while our track record has been spotty, you seem to be rather able-bodied, and whispers this morning that have come to my ears mention that you have interest in returning to Westruun. Is that correct?”

SAM: To set it free, yes.

MATT: “Wondrous, wondrous.” He looks over to Drez. Drez goes, “Yes, well, you see, the master here lives within Westruun, and– ” “I’m talking, I’ve got this. My abode, which is a relatively humble structure, two stories, bricks and dark wood, southeast of the town square, right by the fountain crossroads, I’m sure you’ve seen it before. Since this whole endeavor has happened, it has usurped a bit of progress in my experimentation, and I would be remiss if I didn’t request your assistance in perhaps retrieving a very important piece of my collection so I might continue this research in this desolate place.”

LIAM: What are the subjects of your experimentation?

MATT: “Various things. I enjoy finding out the base elements of existence and life.”

LAURA: Insight check.

MATT: Insight check.

LAURA: He’s lying. 18.

MATT: 18.

TALIESIN: God damn it.

TRAVIS: Whispers!

SAM: Dagger Dagger Dagger is one of the shirts that’s available. There’s Strongjaw Ale. Strongjaw Ale available for sale. Check it out. Geek and Sundry.

TALIESIN: That’s very interesting. Did you know that I’m a collector as well, actually?

MATT: “Really? Oh, quaint.”

TALIESIN: Of specifics.

MATT: “Of what?”

TALIESIN: Specifics. I see that you have not really handed any over.

MATT: “It may be a bit beyond your understanding.”

LAURA: Very few things are beyond his understanding.

MATT: “Very well. I appreciate the synergies between various elements and the ability to link the essence with that of a living organic entity, or the transition of such living essence into what is normally non-living matter.”

MARISHA: So you’re a necromancer.

MATT: “No! I don’t deal with that ridiculous stuff.”

TALIESIN: He’s talking about transmutation of some kind.

MATT: “Yes, yes! Thank you. The transitioning of essences or sparking essence within what was once non-living matter. I’m talking about elements, I’m not talking about flesh.”

MARISHA: Like natural elements?

LAURA: Like golems.

TALIESIN: It’s the veganism of necromancy. It’s just kind of dull.

MATT: “What was that?”

TALIESIN: Nothing.

MATT: “Now, I had previously asked you to retrieve an item in the past. That was part of this research and I was nearing a breakthrough, I believe. However, if you could find your way into this abode and retrieve for me– It’s in the basement, amongst my work desk area. It’s a simple dark iron and cobalt circlet. A band, if you will. If you could retrieve that for me, I would make it quite worth your while and be ever-grateful and in your service.”

LIAM: What are we talking about, a pile of coin, or something else?

MATT: “As I said before, I am quite the collector, and while I do hate to relinquish my grasp on various parts of this collection, for someone who does me a grand favor, I am willing to look the other way as one might disappear.”

LAURA: What does the circlet do?

MATT: “It’s more of an experimental piece.”

LIAM: Come on. Don’t treat us like a bunch of fucking assholes. It’s in the middle of shit right now. We’re not going to go in there for a trinket. It’s obviously something very worthwhile. You would have a better chance with us if you’re honest.

MATT: Drez at this point steps forward and goes, “I would appreciate if you respected the master for his research. He is going to offer you a great guide.”

MARISHA: Oh, shut up, Drez.

LIAM: Yeah, you’re an asshole. You’re the biggest asshole. I’m not talking to you. I’m talking to you. I’m not talking to you, I’m talking to you.

MATT: “Sir, perhaps we need to–” At which point he looks over and the master’s like (cackling). “About time someone called you on it.”

SAM: Master Quall. We’re looking for the Vestiges of Divergence.

LAURA: Scanlan, what the fuck?

SAM: Oh, am I not supposed to say that? Do you know where those are? That’s what we want. If you can offer us one of those, we’ll do business with you. Otherwise, we’re going to fuck off.

MARISHA: Wait, he might. Look, Master Quall. Finish what you were saying first.

MATT: “Yes. I’ve heard of this title before. You say you’re seeking them, are you?”

SAM: I am. Not them.

MATT: “Where are you seeking these? Whereabouts are you off to?”

MARISHA: Well, we were headed towards–

SAM: We don’t know where they are.

LAURA: They’re all sorts of different places. We’re trying to figure that out right now. We’re not exactly sure. We’re not exactly sure, Keyleth.

SAM: We thought you might know.

MARISHA: How is what we’re seeking less important than where we’re seeking it? I’m really confused.

TRAVIS: Oh, you know, just in case we mention where we might be looking for them, in front of these people.

LAURA: Because what if he goes to find them?

MATT: “Don’t worry.”

MARISHA: Does he look like the man capable of going and finding things? He’s trying to send us back into his own god damn basement to get his own shit.

MATT: “See, there is a woman who speaks both her mind and a mind of quite acute truth.”

SAM: She is cute.

LAURA: Is it morning yet? Can Pike come join us yet?

SAM: She is being sought.

MATT: As you guys are having this conversation, there’s a little (crackling) flash of divine energy before you, and a slight popping sound as out of the middle of the air next to you, there comes, jogging in, a freshly winded, fully armored Pike.

SAM: What an entrance!

TALIESIN: See, you start arguing and you just make a gnome. This is what happens.

TRAVIS: I run over and I pick up Pike and I spin her around in a big bear hug.

ASHLEY: Hey, Grog!

TRAVIS: Oh, my little buddy Pike. We missed you.

ASHLEY: Oh, I missed you guys.

MARISHA: Hi, Pike!

ASHLEY: Hey guys! Oh, who are these two?

MATT: At this point, Master Quall is going through a series of notes. He goes, “I’m very certain this gnome was not created.”

MARISHA: And you remember Drez.

ASHLEY: Oh, yes. Mr. Vina. Drez Vina.

MATT: “Yes. It is a delight to see you as well, small one.”

ASHLEY: Hi!

MATT: “Well, this grew very complicated.”

TALIESIN: Master Quall.

MATT: “Yes.”

TALIESIN: Let’s lay the cards on the table. If we find this thing of yours in your basement, and if we go to your home, we are certainly going to go into the basement and find it now regardless, we’re going to figure out what it is before we give it to you anyway. The world is dangerous right now, and it is not appropriate to just be handing mystical artifacts of great strength willy-nilly to anybody who asks. The world is dangerous and we need to make sure that power is flowing in the correct direction. Now, you can either be forthright with that and get your property, or we can find it in your basement and experiment on it until we know what it is.

MATT: “Good luck even attempting such an endeavor.”

TALIESIN: I have very good luck attempting these endeavors.

MATT: “Well. Let’s just say that it’s a device that, when completed, to the specialty of my own training and studies, would enable me the means of personal defense to get me through these rather difficult and dangerous times. As I am not getting any younger and it seems that we’re having entities of great power and mischief intent on destruction continuously tearing down my very doorways–” He looks off in the direction of Westruun. “I would feel more comfortable if I could keep myself well guarded. And that is what this circlet is intended to provide.”

LAURA: Tell you what, Master Quall.

MATT: “Yes?”

LAURA: We’re not heading there now, but we’ll be going back, and when we do, we will find your home, and we will search out this circlet.

SAM: Well, hold on, before we just say no, what’s the reward? Do we know what you’re paying for this?

TALIESIN: Well, he’s got a collection.

MATT: “A simple trade of my collection. You bring me one of my items, and I gift you one of mine as well.”

TALIESIN: I personally feel this is reasonable.

MARISHA: I’m curious if you could be more beneficial in paying us with information. With knowledge.

LAURA: As well as something from your collection.

MATT: “I am more than willing to offer information for trade. It is quite a grand trade indeed. If that is acceptable.”

LAURA: No, we would want something as well, physically.

TALIESIN: This is a deposit of information.

MATT: “All right. Then, as part of the deposit, what do you require of me?”

MARISHA: Are you familiar with a sphinx named Osysa?

MATT: “Can’t say that I am.”

MARISHA: Resides up– No?

TALIESIN: What does he know, perhaps, of the– no?

MARISHA: Are you familiar with any other sphinxes that reside in this area? Do you know the address?

MATT: “I’m sorry, but they don’t really wander in open daylight.”

LAURA: Do you know where they wander?

TALIESIN: In darkness, if they don’t wander in open daylight.

MATT: He gives a curious look at both of you. “I am not a master of mythology. I do not know of such entities and where they might reside or exist. I apologize.”

MARISHA: Well, you do seem to be a master of items. We are looking for certain special Vestiges.

MATT: “So you say. And you’re saying this sphinx may want to help you in this endeavor?”

MARISHA: We’re not sure yet.

TALIESIN: It’s a long walk.

MARISHA: We thought maybe he could help us find them, but maybe you could be of a similar service.

MATT: “Well. What I do have–” And he turns around. “Come with me to my tent, please. I may have something that can be of service to you.”

MARISHA: Sure.

LAURA: I give Pike a hug as we walk to his tent.

SAM: Actually, I pull Pike aside and say– Well, not aside. I just ask her, how’s Whitestone? What’s going on there?

ASHLEY: Well, it’s okay. I think I got to the point where I couldn’t build anymore, heal any more people. I needed a little adventure. But everything is as you would think it would be.

SAM: No dragon attacks?

ASHLEY: None at the moment. We’ve been trying to hold down the place as much as we can, and getting there seems to be okay.

LIAM: I did not go up to Pike. I hung way the fuck back.

MATT: All right. You guys eventually make your way back to the small outpost, at this point, to the tent of Drez Vina and Master Quall. Master Quall steps inside. You hear him rummaging through some things. Something rolls and breaks, and you hear, “Oh, damn it!” from the inside. He comes back out and goes, “All right, so, this.” And he holds up this small glass bauble. The inside has a spinning, looks like a brass gyroscope-type interior. He goes, “This item, when clasped and concentrated on, should light up any sort of nearby magical incantations or enchantments. This, if you are in the presence of such objects as you are seeking, should be quite helpful in locating their presence. It does not have an incredibly long range, but it should, at the very least, be somewhat helpful.”

LAURA: That’s pretty cool.

SAM: You’re giving this to us?

MATT: “I’m lending it to you. Should you wish this to be part of the trade instead of something from my collection…”

LAURA: No no no. Lending is–

TALIESIN: Lending is perfectly agreeable.

MATT: “Now I have lent you something in the past, and not only did it not return to me, but I had to extract the funds by forcing another contract on you. Can I trust you to complete this endeavor?”

SAM: You can trust us, as far as Grog can throw me.

TRAVIS: Pretty fucking far.

TALIESIN: You can trust her.

MATT: “Deal.” And he hands it out.

TRAVIS: We will make our way into the city, and when we do, we will look for your items.

MATT: “Thank you. I appreciate that.”

SAM: Or we could just send Vex on a broom right now to get it solo–

MARISHA: Wait, what? What?

TALIESIN: We are not flying a half-elf into the city on a broom that she has already fallen off of in the last 24 hours.

LIAM: Archers!

LAURA: I am recovering a bit right now, but thank you for the wonderful, wonderful idea, Scanlan!

SAM: I think you can do it. I think you can do it.

LAURA: Thank you! I appreciate the vote of confidence.

LIAM: He is a tactician.

MARISHA: Hey, what might this item be called, Sir Quall?

MATT: “I haven’t named it, actually. I made it for myself. Call it what you like.”

SAM: How about “The Hunk of Quall”?

MARISHA: The Hunk of Quall.

MATT: “Should you wish, certainly.”

TALIESIN: Didn’t we had a conversation about letting him name things? I feel like we had this conversation.

TRAVIS: Always do it, right?

MATT: “Enjoy carrying among yourselves The Hunk of Quall.”

TRAVIS: Thank you. Drez Vina, it hasn’t been a pleasure, nice to see you.

MATT: Drez crosses his arms, “Indeed. All right, good luck.”

TRAVIS: And can I take Pike around the shoulder and lead her out of the tent?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Hey, hey… hey, Pike?

ASHLEY: Yeah?

TRAVIS: So I’m glad things have been good at Whitestone. They’ve been good, yeah?

ASHLEY: Yeah, they’ve been all right, I mean, it’s okay, I’ve been missing you guys, though.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we miss you a whole lot. Listen, I’ve got some rough news, actually. We made it back to Westruun, and the city has kind of been ransacked and overtaken. It was attacked by a bunch of dragons, and what’s worse is that after it was attacked– you know that herd of wandering goliaths that left me for dead in the woods?

ASHLEY: Of course.

TRAVIS: Yeah, they’ve kind of taken control of the city, and I think that’s my family that’s in there.

ASHLEY: Oh no.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Look, we wanted to go in, I wanted to look for Wilhand, but we haven’t done it yet, and–

ASHLEY: Have you heard anything else? Do you think they are okay?

TRAVIS: I don’t know. Some of us went in via mist and they haven’t seen him, but they don’t really know what he looks like. The place looks pretty rough, he’s not here in this little encampment. I’m not really sure where he is.

ASHLEY: Okay. Well, I wonder if we should go look for him

TRAVIS: Yeah, I want to, but like, listen. I’m afraid to put everybody in the group in jeopardy. They’re going to be there, in the city, and I was wondering what you might think about going to look for a few other more Vestiges, trying to find Osysa’s mate and seeing if we can find anything that can help us, because it’s going to be a fight, right? And you know me: I fucking love a fight, but–

ASHLEY: That’s a lot of them.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it’s a lot.

ASHLEY: I think we should wait until we’re fully prepared.

TRAVIS: Yeah, you think so?

ASHLEY: I think so. I don’t think it’s safe any other way.

TRAVIS: I missed you so much!

ASHLEY: Oh Grog, I missed you too!

TRAVIS: And I cry a little bit into my beard, and I wipe it away I’m like: Oh! The pollen out in these fields is awful!

(laughter)

ASHLEY: It’s okay, Grog! I give him a hug, and I take my blue scarf and I pat his eyes.

ALL: Oh!

TRAVIS: (crying) It’s raining!

(laughter)

TRAVIS: As soon as we find this out, if we find nothing– I promise, I pledge to you that we will find Wilhand.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TRAVIS: All right.

MATT: All right.

SAM: So, is the task then to go find the orcs that are keeping their people hostage up in the Frostweald?

LAURA: We head into the Frostweald, we find the orcs and send them back and keep going and find this Sphinx-y mate.

MARISHA: Did we have any other information of where he is in the Frostweald or do we just know Frostweald?

LAURA: We just know Frostweald. Pike?

MATT: The information that you received was, somewhere in the base of the Stormcrest Mountains, past the Frostweald.

MARISHA: Past the Frostweald?

LIAM: Through it to the base of the mountain.

LAURA: Of the what mountain?

MATT: Stormcrest Mountains.

LIAM: That’s a real place.

TRAVIS: Actually, Pike.

ASHLEY: Yeah?

TRAVIS: I’ve been holding on to something, and I think you might like it. I have these Gauntlets of Ogre Power, and I can’t wear them anymore, because I got some new stuff, and if you wear it, your strength score goes up to 19.

ASHLEY: What!

TRAVIS: Do you want them? You have to attune to them.

ASHLEY: Do you think they’ll fit?

TRAVIS: I think they might shrink. I don’t know, though.

TALIESIN: Do you know what 19 means?

TRAVIS: Isn’t it like a French dish?

LAURA: Yes.

ASHLEY: I would love to wear those.

TRAVIS: All right, and I give Pike the Gauntlets of Ogre Power.

MATT: As you guys take a short rest to prepare for this, Ashley, you take some time with the gauntlets, and while you’re looking them over and taking your own armored gauntlets off and replacing them with these, your hand goes– It’s like placing a baseball into a bucket. It’s so big around your arm. But then as you take a moment to see the metal and reflect upon it, you can feel the hum of magical energy that begins to invisibly intertwine with your forearm as the metal begins to creak almost, and it shrinks down, encases itself to your forearm. While it doesn’t match the metal of your armor, the silver-gold theme that goes on along it with this weird ogreish face that’s built into the plate there, you feel suddenly this surge of strength begin to spill through your body, and you’re pretty confident that this may be useful in the near future.

LAURA: You’re stronger than Grog now!

MATT: You are technically now stronger than Grog.

ASHLEY: I let out a little battle cry. (battle cry)

TRAVIS: Yeah, and I go to give her a fist bump.

ASHLEY: I fist bump him!

MATT: And it hurts you a little bit.

LAURA: Oh, shit! Pike is so strong!

TRAVIS: Holy shit. Nice, Pike!

MATT: Pike, what was your strength before?

ASHLEY: 13.

MATT: Okay. At a 19, you’re now at a plus four as opposed to a plus one to all your hit and damage with your physical weapons.

LIAM: You just Tyler Durden-ed out, son!

MATT: So on your sheet, where it has your attack bonus with your mace, or with your morningstar, and the damage, add a plus three to both the attack bonus and damage.

ASHLEY: All right, because right now my attack bonus is plus seven, so I add three to that.

MATT: It’s now plus ten.

LAURA: Holy moley!

MARISHA: That’s so cool! You’re a beast!

LIAM: Little golden bullet.

ASHLEY: I can’t find a pencil! That’s okay, I’ll make a note. I can do it later. I am unprepared. Yes, I am unprepared for all this strength!

TRAVIS: Right, so now we have all our stuff. Should we make our way towards that area they said that the orc raiders were coming from?

SAM: Yeah, it’s a couple days from here?

MATT: On foot travel, it’s about a day and a half.

SAM: For mist form?

MATT: Mist form, you’ll get there by nightfall.

LAURA: But we can’t use it, because she already used the travel through the trees.

MARISHA: Sorry.

LAURA: But we saved all those people, Scanlan.

SAM: Pike, can you make us mist?

ASHLEY: No, I can’t do anything like that.

SAM: All right.

LAURA: Let’s walk.

ASHLEY: I feel like I haven’t spent any time with Vax.

SAM: With Vax? Oh, he’s around. You know, he’s probably just sulking.

LIAM: I walk away.

MATT: You glance back and see Vax towards the back of the group. Noticing this conversation, Vax immediately turns around and walks away and dodges around one of the nearby tents.

LIAM: Big nope to that one.

TRAVIS: What is the weather like outside?

MATT: Actually, today it’s spotty clouds, but blue sky. It’s actually pretty good weather, versus a lot of the rain that you had over in Vasselheim.

TRAVIS: Cold, snowy on the ground?

MATT: No. Because you’re getting a little further south than the northern area of it, the temperature is probably around high 70s, low 80s.

LAURA: It is going to get cold, though, once we head into the Frostweald. We had all those fancy cloaks. I had winter’s cloaks for all of us before.

TRAVIS: I still have mine.

LAURA: Does everyone still have their winter’s cloaks from a long time ago?

MARISHA: I do.

TALIESIN: Oh, wow, yes, look at that.

SAM: I didn’t burn it.

TRAVIS: Let’s go.

SAM: We’re just going to walk? Do these refugees have any horses or anything?

LAURA: They’re refugees.

MATT: The few horses they do have are currently quartered to wagons and look to be more beasts of burden for, if they have to move, to carry most of their goods with them, as opposed to riding horses.

TRAVIS: Come on, man, let’s just hoof it.

SAM: All right, we’ll walk.

MARISHA: Oh my gosh, are we walking? We haven’t walked anywhere in so long.

LIAM: It’s like we’re back in New York again.

MARISHA: It’s like we’re level three again.

MATT: And those horses will survive, because you didn’t take them.

TRAVIS: Oh, that’s fucked up.

LAURA: That’s really sad.

TRAVIS: Take a walk. Save a horse.

MATT: That’s a good Vox Machina bumper sticker.

TALIESIN: My other horse is walking.

TRAVIS: Coming to the Geek and Sundry store.

MATT: All right. You guys make your Fellowship trek southward with the sweeping camera drone shot.

LAURA: I constantly keep an eye out for anything in the front of us and behind us.

MATT: Thankfully, most of these fields, of varying degrees of grass height, but for the most part it’s pretty wide vision of where you’re heading.

MARISHA: I paint pictures in the clouds as we go.

LAURA: Oh, that’s good. That’ll definitely not let anyone know magical people are on their way.

TALIESIN: Just point arrows in the opposite direction.

TRAVIS: Graffiti as we go.

ASHLEY: Can I insight-check Vax?

MATT: Sure. Roll an insight check.

ASHLEY: Natural 20.

MATT: I believe you.

MARISHA: This never happens.

SAM: You just saw all of his dirty dreams.

MATT: What does she see and read on your face and body language, Vax?

LIAM: I got to say this?

MATT: I can say it, if you want to.

LIAM: I don’t want these assholes to know what I’m thinking. I don’t know. Can’t whisper it to her.

MATT: You can text it to her real fast, if you want.

LIAM: Yeah, I’ll text it to you.

LAURA: But put it on Twitter so that everybody else knows what it is.

LIAM: No.

ASHLEY: I’ll post it.

MATT: Okay, so you’ll have an incoming text of information. As you guys continue walking, these are the observations you make of Vax as you travel southward. You travel for the better part of a day. You get quite a bit south. You do see in the distance a few times what appear to be some pack animals, some larger beasts that roam the land, none that are necessarily aggressive unless you encroach upon their territory, and Keyleth, you have experience with some of these beasts, so you manage to keep people at bay and traverse around what they claim as their own landscape. No terrible detriment to your traveling speed. You make your way to the point where the sun goes down. You can stop and camp for the night or you can push through the evening. What do you wish to do?

MARISHA: Are there any trees nearby?

MATT: Little periods here, little tiny groves that might be spotty along your journey, but for the most part it’s open fields.

MARISHA: How much further do we have, do you think?

MATT: One more day. One more eight-hour period of travel.

LAURA: We should probably rest, then, right? We’ll be hitting the Frostweald at night tomorrow.

TALIESIN: We’re not in a rush.

LAURA: Not anymore. The dragons are bunkered down, I believe.

TALIESIN: Everything we do now is measured in weeks and months and not days.

LAURA: And I still have a little dried blood on the outside of my ear. I could use a bit of rest.

TALIESIN: Actually, yeah, do you have a concussion? Is that something that we can– how many fingers am I holding up?

LAURA: You’re really blurry, Percy, I have no idea.

TRAVIS: Nine!

MATT: Save versus brain swelling. Are you guys setting up camp?

LAURA: I want to pull my brother aside when we set up camp.

SAM: Do we want camp, or do you want to sleep in a mansion?

LAURA: Pike hasn’t seen your beautiful mansion!

MARISHA: Oh, you have to show her the marble floors.

TALIESIN: Do we want to do it now, or do we want to do it tomorrow night, is the question?

SAM: We can do it both.

LAURA: Oh, that’s right– We can do it both nights?

SAM: I can do it every day, right?

ASHLEY: Where do you have a mansion?

LAURA: Scanlan has a mansion, Pike!

SAM: I inherited some money. It’s a long story. There was a great-uncle Vesuvius.

TALIESIN: Also known as Uncle Touchy. Uncle No-No.

LIAM: Canon, that’s canon.

SAM: The court said that he had to give me– No. We’ll sleep in the mansion tonight, and they all know where they’re sleeping, but I’ll personally show Pike to her chambers, which are right next door to mine at the end of the long hallway. My room, obviously, the biggest, tallest. Pike’s a close second. Beautiful, covered in yellow rose petals as far as you can see.

MATT: So, Pike, as Scanlan creates this somewhat shimmering door of mystical energy in the middle of the air off of the path you guys have been walking, in the middle of this field. It’s just the open grass that’s blowing with this gentle night breeze, a little bit of the moonlight is coming through the clouds, giving enough of a visual of this change in the air space. He pushes open the shimmering door, and on the inside is this beautiful mansion. Tall foyer with marble floors, pillars that raise to the ceiling with gold trim. There’s a giant portrait in the center of the main stairway now that has both Scanlan and you on horseback over a beautiful landscape. There are a number of mystical servants that are somewhat transparent and spiritual, arcane energy in form, that take your coats and offer food. A delicious meal is presented for all of you.

SAM: Mostly chicken.

MATT: It’s mostly chicken. It’s a lot of chicken.

LAURA: I’m having a lot of talk with the servants about different ways to prepare food.

SAM: Please do.

TALIESIN: They keep clucking it up.

MATT: Protein, bro! Scanlan does lead you to your room, which is right next to his, and covered in yellow rose petals, a beautiful interior. The color scheme is marked tailored specifically to your tastes that he’s been able to glean from conversations with you over the past couple years.

SAM: Blues, silvers. There’s a little mini prayer area for her to pray to Sarenrae, and there’s a little statue of Sarenrae, and if you pull it, a little secret door opens to my room. But it’s a small door that only a gnome could fit through.

ASHLEY: Oh, great! Is there a lock on that, maybe?

(laughter)

SAM: Only on my side.

ASHLEY: Okay. Oh, this is beautiful, Scanlan!

SAM: I did it for you. And, hey, while we have a moment alone, can I just mention something to you? Listen, I’m not really concerned with other people’s vices or bad behaviors, but Grog has this sword, and it’s sort of not good. It could be used for good, possibly, but I’m just worried about it. Just keep an eye on it. I don’t know what it is, and maybe you could just check it out next time you’re friending it up with him.

ASHLEY: Okay. When they had that fight with Percy, up in the house, I felt like there was something weird with that sword. I’ll check it out.

SAM: I don’t want to judge him or what he does, but just make sure that it won’t kill any of us. That’s all I care about.

ASHLEY: Yeah, that’s a good plan. Okay, I will. Thanks, Scanlan.

SAM: Sleep tight. And if you hear any footsteps in your room, it’s not me. It’s the servants, I assure you.

LAURA: Can I find– Is there a library in the mansion, Scanlan?

SAM: Of course.

LAURA: Can I pull my brother into a library or something? I just want to talk to you.

LIAM: What? What?

LAURA: Okay, weirdo. I couldn’t help but notice, anywhere Pike was, you were not, all day today, and I have a feeling it’s because–

LIAM: You want to talk?

LAURA: Yes. I do. Don’t walk away from me, please. I have a feeling it’s because of this Raven Queen situation. I don’t know. I know that you offered yourself to her to save me, and I can’t put into words how much that means to me. I’m worried that she took you up on the offer, and I know you’re worried about it, too. And I’m afraid that’s why you’re avoiding Pike. You’re afraid she’s going to see something in you. But I wanted to tell you, I’ve been looking through this book. It’s the best 35 gold I’ve ever spent. Maybe it was 30 gold, I don’t even remember anymore.

LIAM: It was 30.

LAURA: It was 30! It would have been worth 35 for all the things that I found in it! Look, it’s got all this information about the Raven Queen, and I’ve been looking at it all the time. I don’t think she’s as horrible as you’re afraid she is. Can I tell you what I found?

LIAM: Yes, please.

LAURA: It says that those that follow her must hold no pity for those who suffer and die, for death is the natural end of life. That’s not bad. Bring down the proud who try to cast off the chains of fate. As the instrument of the Raven Queen, you must punish hubris where you find it. Bring down those who try to cast off the chains of fate. The Raven Queen represents death, right? Therefore she hates those that live an immortal life. She hates vampires! We hate vampires! They’re terrible people, right? That’s not bad! Watch for the cult of Orcus, and stamp them out whenever they arise. Orcus is bad. If she hates him, then she must not be that terrible.

LIAM: She’s already speaking to me.

LAURA: Oh. And?

LIAM: I don’t know, Vex'ahlia. I don’t know what this means. I know that she’s not a force for evil. Neither are funeral homes. I don’t want to bed down in one.

LAURA: Well, that’s understandable.

LIAM: But it doesn’t matter. And I’d do it again, because I did it for you, and I am trying to come to terms with it, not knowing the terms.

LAURA: Well. We’ve lived half our life in the shadows. You’ve made them your home. Am I right?

LIAM: Maybe so.

LAURA: This is a time you can either let those shadows swallow you down and keep falling into a hole, or you can use them to your advantage. You can become a champion. It’s pretty fucking badass, if you ask me.

LIAM: Do you know how bad this armor smells?

LAURA: I can smell it, actually. Pretty terrible.

LIAM: It’s several centuries old. It’s not pleasant.

LAURA: Maybe we can get you some oils or something to put on it.

LIAM: Maybe.

LAURA: What I’m saying is, brother, I’m proud of you, and I’m happy for you, and I’m so, so thankful for you. And you don’t need to be frightened! This is a wonderful thing. Not many fucking people can say they’re a champion of a fucking god.

LIAM: Listen. I’ll take what you say under consideration. Again, none of us, you and I don’t know what this means. I’m waiting to see.

LAURA: All right. But as someone who’s seen the other side and has come back thanks to you, there’s no use living your life in fear. I love my reckless brother, as much as he hurts my heart. I love you for that, and don’t be afraid to be that.

LIAM: I have no clever answer to give you.

LAURA: That’s wonderful. I love you. And I walk away!

(laughter)

LIAM: I go to bed.

TALIESIN: Before Scanlan disappears, I grab him as he’s leaving.

SAM: I’m just making the rounds, make sure everyone’s tucked in for the night.

LIAM: Scanlan’s like, wasn’t looking in on Pike. Wasn’t looking in on Pike.

TALIESIN: Have you, perhaps, installed some sort of workspace in this wonderful home of yours for me? I’ve got a few little projects I want to poke at.

SAM: You mean the all-purpose room?

LAURA: The Room of Requirement?

TALIESIN: I’m a little worried by what all-purpose necessarily means.

SAM: Don’t look in there with a black light.

TALIESIN: It’s not really a work table, is it?

LIAM: It is the danger room.

SAM: It’s all purposes, Percy. All purposes. But yes, it is a private room. No one can hear you scream in there. It’s the farthest wing we have. I can give you some servants to help you set something up, bring in some tables, whatever. We don’t have much in here, we’re not prepared for chemical reactions.

TALIESIN: Nothing complicated, just some very basic blacksmithing and a little bit of leatherwork.

SAM: Do I have that stuff? Anything to help him?

MATT: Yeah. If it was prepared within the house.

SAM: I tried to make enough stuff for all of us to have our basic needs met.

TALIESIN: I can think of some very sexy things that can be done with an anvil. Think about it.

SAM: All my anvils are gnome-sized.

TALIESIN: That’s comical.

MARISHA: Keyleth pops her head out into the hallway. Did I hear something about working? Are you working?

TALIESIN: Yes. Scanlan’s helping me find a room that apparently is so sound-proof we don’t actually have to hear anyone else’s drama.

MARISHA: Oh, that’s fantastic.

TALIESIN: I know. Grab a book. It’ll be fun.

MARISHA: I might join you.

SAM: Are you going to have a working dinner? I’ll send some chickens down.

MARISHA: I can’t sleep, so, yes.

TRAVIS: What about cows?

TALIESIN: No cows in my room either, please.

MARISHA: I join Percy and help him.

MATT: Okay. You guys find the all-purpose room, which does have the basics required for smithing. The smithing gear that is brought to you by the servants in itself is very, very finely crafted and nearly weightless. It’s really impressive, and you look at the label, and it has a small timer on it before it becomes immaterial.

TALIESIN: I can work with materials that are in the Bag of Holding, that are real materials, as long as I put them back in the Bag of Holding and take them with me? I can’t leave anything, obviously.

MATT: Yeah. Anything you leave in here will just be spat out.

TALIESIN: Oh, it’ll just be spat out. That’s lovely.

MATT: Yeah, onto the ground where it was.

TALIESIN: For the moment, because I don’t have everything I need for the broom yet, I want to work on a piece of jewelry, if that’s okay. I want to work on the thing.

MATT: Work on jewelry?

TALIESIN: I want to construct a little piece of jewelry if that’s okay. Not magical.

MATT: Do you have a jeweler’s kit?

TALIESIN: Do I have a jeweler’s kit?

MATT: It’s a whole different skill set, man.

TALIESIN: I can’t tinker something?

MATT: You can tinker something, but jewelry is different from tinkering.

TALIESIN: No, well, this is a piece that has purpose. It actually is going to be a functional object.

MATT: What is the function of this object? You need to tell me these things.

TALIESIN: I know. This is something that I– I’m so sorry.

MATT: I’m going to make something! Make me roll for it! I got to know what you’re doing.

TALIESIN: I want to make a– I’m so sorry, I’m losing the word.

MARISHA: Hey, Percy, what are you trying to make?

TALIESIN: Something that’s too complicated to explain to you. I’m blanking on it. I may have to just give you the name at the break. A little herb pouch, like one of those cages that close up to put herbs in them?

SAM: Oh, like you make tea with?

MATT: Okay. It won’t be pretty, but you can make it functional. Yeah, go ahead and make a tinkering check.

TALIESIN: All right, I’ll make it pretty later.

LIAM: Like a Shoprite bag with a bunch of shit in it?

MATT: This will be a dexterity mod, because it’s not a very complicated piece based on what you’ve constructed in the past. It’s more about your ability to make it work.

TALIESIN: Dexterity? Thank god, because that’s a terrible roll. 14.

MATT: 14. Okay, it takes you the better part of the night.

MARISHA: Do I assist him at all?

MATT: With a job this small, there’s not a whole lot you can assist with except handing him tools.

TALIESIN: I’m not going to run the whole night. At some point I’m going to be like, I don’t have the design yet. This is something I want to get right, so this is going to be working towards it.

MATT: Okay, so you get the first stage of that set and ready to go.

TALIESIN: I can’t think of the name of what it is. I’m so embarrassed.

MATT: You all eventually find yourselves to rest, tasks completed to the extent of which you wanted to, conversations finished. You find yourselves at breakfast, a delightful spread of breakfast chickens prepared for you.

MARISHA: I pick one up off the table and I say, hey Vex! (whoosh)

LAURA: Shit! I’m not even on my– (grunt)

MATT: All of you duck instinctively as the chicken has enough time to arc and begin to plummet down before she gets her arrow out, and you see her aiming downward as it falls. As she releases the arrow, it manages to catch it. Go ahead and roll for an attack, see how well it hits.

LAURA: Oh, that’s good. 30?

MATT: (arrow impact)

LAURA: Oh, wait, 28, 28.

MATT: (slightly quieter arrow impact) It pins the chicken to the wall, and then it just sags. The wooden shaft slowly snaps under the weight of the chicken before it hits the ground. One of the servants scoops it up and sets it back on the table in front of Keyleth with the broken arrow shaft sticking out.

MARISHA: I like that game. It’s my new favorite game.

LIAM: Do you want some more broom target practice?

LAURA: I need to practice with this broom.

LIAM: You do need to practice, seriously.

MARISHA: We have more chickens.

TRAVIS: We’ve got stuff to do.

LAURA: Yeah, we have stuff to do.

LIAM: I’m still eating. I would love to see you, for five minutes, get up on that broom and fly around and fucking put some arrows in some chickens.

LAURA: All right, fine, I’ll fucking practice. Does it help me at all to practice on this broom?

LIAM: It helps me.

SAM: I will command seven servants to each have a loaded chicken at the ready.

LIAM: Pull!

LAURA: I start flying.

SAM: Vax, you can do the honors and say the pulls.

LAURA: I clench really hard with my thighs to try to hold on to this broom.

MATT: As the rest of you enjoy what is the strangest of Medieval Times experiences you’ve had, glancing upward to the raised ceiling of this dining room area, you watch Vex spiral around on her broom before, Scanlan?

SAM: Vax is saying pull.

LIAM: Pull!

TALIESIN: (chicken clucking)

MATT: Roll, with disadvantage.

LAURA: Oh, Jesus. Okay.

TRAVIS: Say it. Say it!

LAURA: One!

TALIESIN: Easiest number to count to.

MATT: So as the first chicken goes in the air, she reaches and goes to aim. However, she catches herself. The broom throws her off, and she stops just in time and haphazardly focuses on just the chicken, not realizing where the chicken had now fallen past. Releases it. Scanlan, I want you to make a dexterity saving throw.

SAM: Nine.

MATT: Go ahead and roll damage.

LAURA: Okay, that’s not that bad. Damage? Oh, it’s automatic hit?

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: Okay. Oh, no.

LIAM: Full damage.

LAURA: That’s 17.

MATT: So, Scanlan, as you’re watching this, chewing, suddenly, (impact).

SAM: (screaming)

LAURA: Shit! Scanlan, Scanlan, I’m so sorry! I land, I land. I land and I instantly cast Cure Wounds on him. Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

MATT: A big old chicken dangling at the end of the arrow.

LAURA: Pike! Pike, help, help, help, help!

TRAVIS: I’m just applauding. Again! Again! I pick up my chicken and I throw it at Scanlan.

TALIESIN: Does this mean when the night’s over there’s going to be a little pool of blood where the door was?

MATT: You’ll find out. Go ahead and roll for healing.

LAURA: Oh, God, okay.

MATT: As Vex reaches out and grasps you and manages to heal some of your wounds.

LAURA: Oh, good, that’s good. It’s just 1d8, do I add anything?

MATT: 1d8 plus your wisdom modifier.

LAURA: 11.

MATT: So you heal 11 hit points.

SAM: Can I pull out the arrow?

MATT: Sure. A gout of blood sprays out.

LAURA: I hold my hand there. Pike, can you help?

ASHLEY: I’ll help, I’ll help. That broom is amazing!

MARISHA: Isn’t it, Pike?

ASHLEY: Yes! And there are too many chickens in here, anyway. Healing Scanlan.

MATT: Pike, you’re just casting a Cure Wounds?

ASHLEY: Yes, I’ll cast Cure Wounds.

MATT: The wound closes as Pike reaches out and, with a small chuckle, heals how many hit points?

LIAM: The chicken comes back to life!

ASHLEY: What did you say, Matt?

MATT: How much do you heal? Roll 1d8 plus five, I’m pretty sure. That was amazing.

LAURA: Sorry, Scanlan. You can blame my brother.

ASHLEY: Nine.

SAM: I’m back.

MATT: You’re back to full. The wounds close. Pike’s there holding her hands on your shoulders, closing the wound.

SAM: Thank you, Pike.

ASHLEY: You’re welcome.

SAM: All right. Well, let’s say breakfast is over.

LAURA: I’m going to practice a bit more, you guys.

MATT: The other servants are holding their chickens at the ready.

SAM: Pull.

MARISHA: Go, go, go!

ASHLEY: Can I try punching one in the air with my new gauntlets?

MATT: Okay. As he’s about to throw it up, Pike runs over and grabs the chicken and throws it and (boom) punches it in the air. Pike, roll a strength check. Roll a d20 and add plus four to it.

LIAM: 20 chicken McNuggets fly through the air.

ASHLEY: This is so dumb, why am I doing this? What am I doing?

MATT: Roll a d20, add four to it.

LIAM: For the greater good.

ASHLEY: Okay, it’s not that high. 11.

MATT: 11, okay. You (boom) bat it up with a Pike punch. We’ll say for the sake of brevity on this, go ahead and roll one more attack, and this will count for the rest of the shots. With disadvantage.

LAURA: Oh, come on. 16.

MATT: 16, okay. You do manage to recover your sense of self-esteem as you manage to pin a couple more chickens against the walls and the table in here, but each arrow is just a reminder of the one stray that began this whole breakfast excursion.

LAURA: Sorry about that, Scanlan.

SAM: Great job, Vex.

MARISHA: Guys, this is the best brunch we’ve ever done.

LIAM: I will never forget it.

MARISHA: That was great. Thank you for that, Scanlan.

SAM: Sure, sure.

LAURA: We should probably get a start on a walk.

MARISHA: Yeah, so, question, before we leave, you guys–

TALIESIN: This is going to make the archery booth at Ren Faire hilarious. Sorry, okay. Carry on.

MARISHA: Do we want to travel via Wind Walk, or are we okay?

SAM: We’re only eight hours away?

TALIESIN: It’s only eight hours. Save your strength.

MARISHA: Because I can save my strength.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, save it.

MARISHA: Okay. All right. Thank you.

LAURA: We might come across some orcs.

MARISHA: That’s true.

TRAVIS: Hopefully. Shit.

LAURA: I know, right? I could use some.

SAM: All right, let’s set out.

MATT: You guys say good-bye to your servants, gather yourselves as you step out and the door closes behind you. Do you choose to leave the spell up, or are you going to fade it as you walk along?

SAM: If I leave it up, can anyone go in there?

MATT: Anyone that you allow into it.

TALIESIN: I want to see if the blood comes out.

SAM: No, I’ll shut the door and hide the key under a rock.

MATT: Okay. You guys continue walking southward towards the Frostweald. About another seven to eight hours of travel along that way, you begin to see the Stormcrest Mountains in the distance get closer and loom larger and larger, and you get the feel of the Stormcrest Mountains especially because there is a very large storm surge that seems to rise from the ocean to the east of it that has caused a very heavy thunderstorm that’s blasting through. You can’t see the peaks of the mountains from this distance. There are clusters of trees and forest areas along, but ahead of you, you can see, coated in a very, very bright, visibly white forest, this is the Frostweald itself, with snowfall. Once again, you’ve been here before, and there is an essence, and you don’t recall the specific reason for it, but there is a purpose, an ancient purpose, as to why this one area is perpetually sitting in the heart of winter. Amongst what is a relatively temperate, in some places almost tropical temperature layer, it is very strange, and part of the mystical calling to the Frostweald is that it is perpetually locked in a winter state. You– don’t worry, I’m working on it.

MARISHA: Keyleth takes a second to meditate on the previous time that we were here in the Frostweald, and I cast Find the Path. 6th-level spell. Which gives me the most direct, shortest route as long as I’m on the same plane existence of where I’m going, if I have a vague idea of where I’m going.

MATT: Where are you going?

SAM: We’re going to the Stormcrest Mountains, right?

MARISHA: We’re trying to get to the Stormcrest Mountains through, but we’re also looking for the band of orcs travelling.

MATT: If you name a destination on another plane of existence, a destination that moves, or a destination that isn’t specific, such as a green dragon’s lair, the spell fails.

MARISHA: But we’re in the Frostweald, right?

MATT: Yes. You’re approaching it now.

MARISHA: Is the Frostweald considered on a different plane?

MATT: No. But do you have a specific location that you’re familiar with that you want to go to?

MARISHA: Well, I can find us the shortest, most direct route to the Stormcrest Mountains.

SAM: Have we been there?

MATT: Yeah, you can see them. I’m trying to figure out. For the spell to work, you have to choose a specific location that you’re already familiar with to lead you to it.

MARISHA: Right.

MATT: So what are you saying?

MARISHA: Stormcrest Mountains. But just because I can see them doesn’t necessarily mean we’re going to find the most direct path, shortest direct path towards it.

MATT: That’s true.

MARISHA: Right? Or is this a waste of a spell and I should just do something else?

MATT: I will give you the benefit to say that you can see the mountain range. This is more useful if it’s trying to find a place that you’re very familiar with, seen a picture of, or you had a very specific bit of information for it. For a general location or a location that you’re unaware of, the spell wouldn’t have an effect.

LAURA: Maybe you could think of the location of her mate, the sphinx’s mate.

MARISHA: I don’t know it, so it fails. That’s why I was trying to do Stormcrest Mountains, but apparently that’s not specific enough.

LAURA: Well, is it specific? It’s just we can see them.

LIAM: Yeah, it’s right there.

MATT: It’s a large range that’s very visible.

LIAM: Let’s move on, let’s move on.

MARISHA: I’ll do something else.

TALIESIN: Save it for something special.

MATT: So as you guys press forward to the outside of the Frostweald, the snow- and ice-covered treeline is a very familiar sight from your last time traveling here. There are canopies of pine-like trees that interlock with windless snowfall, that leave a fairly dark interior set from the frozen-over canopy. Slick surfaces and knee-deep snowbanks permeate this entire forest region. Your breath is immediately visible as you step past that threshold, and the temperature drops about 40 degrees from what it was before, getting steadily colder the further in you travel.

LAURA: Bet you’re glad you have that beard now, huh? Keeps you warm? No?

TRAVIS: It’s actually quite nice out here. This is like spring for me.

LIAM: Are your people– Did you grow up in the cold?

TRAVIS: Yeah, we’re pretty cool.

LIAM: Wow.

MATT: Pressing in, as the temperature drops further and further, you occasionally come across a broken sunbeam that manages to penetrate aspects, different places in the canopy, and even stepping into those, they don’t lend any change in temperature or warmth. The enchantment that surrounds this entire forest doesn’t seem to be moved by such natural incursions. Everyone go ahead and roll a perception check.

LAURA: 25. Are we in the woods? 29.

TRAVIS: Two.

MARISHA: 18.

TALIESIN: 15.

SAM: 20.

ASHLEY: 25.

MATT: As you guys are walking through, keeping your eyes peeled, Vax, you’re so lost in thought that your eyes glaze over for a second and you forget where you are. Pike and Vex, the two of you get a little bit ahead of the rest of the group, pushing through the snow. You come around from a tree and you can see, this is about an hour or so into your entrance to the Frostweald, you see a small clearing with a few patchy trees outside of the heavy canopy, and what appears to be a couple of small stone ruins and a single obelisk, a monolith-like pillar of stone that juts out of the snow. It’s about 200 feet away from you guys, 250 feet. LAURA: Can we see anything around it? Any people, any trace of tracks in the snow?

MATT: From this distance, no. You don’t see any, there are no figures, there is no movement. There is just that stone piece that, at a slight angle, stands out amongst the rest of the treeline.

TRAVIS: What do you see?

LAURA: There’s a, look. There’s a fucking obelisk. It’s a tall stone thing, Grog.

TRAVIS: Yeah? So?

SAM: Let’s go over.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Vex, you and I should hang back, but we’ll let everyone else.

MARISHA: It’s a big obelisk? Are there any birds or anything like that around?

MATT: Listening, that’s what’s interesting. Usually forests, because they’re teeming with so much life, there’s a perpetual sound of things that live amongst the boughs and the treeline. Because it’s so cold here, it’s eerily silent. Every footfall that hits the snow, you can hear the crunch resounding and echoing through the nearby vicinity. It is just a still, silent atmosphere in this forest.

LAURA: (clanging) Pike!

TRAVIS: Let me check if it’s safe to move on. And I reach down and scoop up a handful of snow, right? Just snow? How’s it taste?

MATT: It’s the clearest snow you’ve tasted in a long time.

TRAVIS: Shit’s crazy pure, yo.

SAM: So then we’re safe to move ahead?

TRAVIS: Yeah, we’re good. Let’s go check out the scary obelisk.

LIAM: Everybody starts inhaling snow.

MATT: Are you moving ahead, Grog?

TRAVIS: I’m moving ahead. Who wants to come with me to the obelisk?

LAURA: I’m going to hide behind a tree and watch.

LIAM: To the what? What obelisk?

TRAVIS: For what? Why are you hiding?

LAURA: I’m just going to keep guard!

MARISHA: I’ll come with you, Grog.

TRAVIS: There’s nobody out here.

TALIESIN: I’ve had bad luck touching things lately. I’m letting other people touch things.

MATT: Grog, Keyleth.

SAM: Pike’s coming.

MATT: So Grog, Keyleth, Pike, and Scanlan are all going forward. Looks like Vex, Vax, and Percy are staying.

TALIESIN: I’m getting another angle so that we have two different vantage points of what may happen.

LAURA: Getting a little closer, but keeping.

MATT: Are you going with Percy?

LIAM: I’m brainfarting, so I’m just following Percy.

MATT: Okay. Percy and Vax splinter off to the left, Vex you go ahead and take the right, and you head around this clearing while the rest of you walk into the center of it.

TALIESIN: We’re keeping an eye on that thing in the–

LIAM: Look at that!

TALIESIN: I know, it’s a thing. We’re going to let Grog touch it and see what happens.

MATT: You guys approach, and as you’re stepping through the snowfall, which right now is, for you, up to just past your knees, like the grass was. For Keyleth it’s just up to your waist. Scanlan, you and Pike are both (grunting) like the dogs jumping through the snow that vanish with each leap as you’re having to find your way through this heavy snowfall.

TRAVIS: Do you guys want a ride?

SAM: Yes, please.

TRAVIS: I pick up each gnome on my shoulders.

ASHLEY: Thanks, Grog!

TRAVIS: No problem!

MATT: Go ahead and make an investigation check as you guys approach this obelisk.

SAM: 25.

TRAVIS: It’s a two, minus three.

MARISHA: 11.

MATT: What did you get, Pike?

ASHLEY: 14.

MATT: 14, okay. So as you guys approach, from this vantage point, it’s carved, definitely, and the carving is very old. Weathered somewhat, but not too heavily, so it’s either not very old or there’s not a whole lot of weather that comes through here, and by the stillness of the wind since you’ve entered, you get the feeling that’s probably more the case. It’s hard to gauge how old or how long it’s been here. But there are various carvings amongst it. There is a big symbol. I want to have you guys roll a religion check real fast.

TRAVIS: Awesome. What the fuck. Natural one.

LAURA: You need to not use that dice right now.

SAM: 12.

MARISHA: Religion? Nine.

MATT: Pike?

ASHLEY: 15.

MATT: 15, okay. It looks familiar, but you’re having a hard time really getting the essence. Pike, you recognize this. This is not the largely understood or most commonly utilized symbol of Ioun, but it is a very ancient, the basis of the religion of Ioun, which is the same goddess of knowledge that Osysa was overseeing the temple beneath.

ASHLEY: Wait, how do you spell it?

MATT: Ioun. I-O-U-N. You actually carry a stone, enchanted with the essence of Ioun’s knowledge.

SAM: Oh, that’s my Ion Stone! Ioun Stone!

TRAVIS: Is it made of, it’s stone?

MATT: It’s solid, solid stone, and goes up about 35 feet or so.

TRAVIS: Hey, Scanlan, I heard if you touch your tongue to something like this, it’ll stick.

SAM: Wow. Wow, we should probably try that out. Keyleth?

MARISHA: What?

SAM: Can you go lick that obelisk?

MARISHA: Hell no.

TRAVIS: Why not?

MARISHA: I know that one. But you should do it, Grog. I can’t do it, just because of my elven abilities. It’s our saliva, it doesn’t work the same way. But you should try it, it’s crazy.

TALIESIN: Keyleth, that was very clever.

SAM: How far are we?

MATT: You guys are about ten feet from it.

SAM: I’m going to just look around it for any traps.

MATT: Okay. Make an investigation check.

SAM: 18.

MATT: 18, okay. You have to leap off Grog and start wading through. You’re finding pieces of broken stone, smaller chunks about that big and bits of stone dust that are scattered amongst the snow. You push around, because you see the ruined walls around. You do find a larger piece of stone that looks like a broken statue, like there must have been some sort of a statue here that had lost the hand, and it’s stumbled there on the ground.

MARISHA: Upon him seeing that, I pull out my Hunk of Quall and see if it lights up.

SAM: Oh, you have to concentrate on it.

TALIESIN: Are there orcs present?

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: I knew someone would laugh at that.

MATT: You hold it aloft. It has a small vibration of energy, as part of the crystal sliver itself, but it doesn’t seem to change in the environment.

MARISHA: Can I move a little bit closer to the obelisk?

MATT: As you’re stepping closer to the obelisk, you also notice there is some writing or some sort of scripture that is carved towards the base, that is partially buried by the snow that has gathered at its base. You find more pieces of statues. Arms, part of a torso, like somebody had knocked over a series of statues. A lot of them have deep grooves in them, like these statues were either carved to pieces, like they were physically torn down–

TALIESIN: Are you describing what you’re seeing at all?

SAM: Sure.

TALIESIN: I can’t have a reaction to this unless I’m actually hearing anything.

MARISHA: I do Control Water. Can I do Control Water and clear away all the snow from around it?

MATT: It takes you a little bit of concentration because it’s in a different state than liquid, but you begin to focus, and as you guys are watching, Keyleth focusing, a lot of the ice begins to rapidly melt into a water form and it begins to melt away, leaving the wet, muddy ground around it.

SAM: These statues that have been broken. They have gashes and slashes in them?

MATT: Yes, around the areas where they’re broken.

SAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: Can I see the statues at this point?

MATT: From this distance? You can’t, unfortunately.

TALIESIN: I want to get a little closer, just so I can make out the statues.

MATT: Okay. As the snowfall begins to melt away, you guys see around the base of this obelisk it is a garden of statue-pieces.

SAM: Hey, hey guys!

TALIESIN: Are they classical statues or are they people in weird poses? Are the poses weird?

MATT: Some poses look aggressive, some poses look surprised–

SAM: Okay, everybody hey hey hey.

TALIESIN: Back up, everybody. Back up now.

MATT: And we’re going to go ahead and take a break on that note.

LAURA: We fought basilisks in the Frostweald before.

LIAM: Basilisks here, yes.

MATT: So. We’re going to go ahead and take a quick break here for the restroom and–

MARISHA: Son of a bitch.

ASHLEY: Son of a bitch.

MATT: See you guys here in a few minutes.

TRAVIS: I don’t see what the problem is.

Break
[break]

Part II
MATT: Hello, and welcome back, everyone. So. As the snow is melted away, revealing this garden of statues in various states of– some of them are still solid, some of them are just missing pieces, some of them are entirely shattered, many of them crushed or torn, thick, heavy grooves visible on the pieces of them that have been torn asunder– the party begins to gather their thoughts and figure out what this might be. You did notice as well that there was writing or script among the bottom of the obelisk, and as the snow melts away, there is another large shape that is carved into it.

TRAVIS: Can I hold my hand up to the obelisk and just feel if there’s any, like, heat radiating off of it?

MATT: Sure. As you walk up to the edge of the obelisk and put your hand to it, no heat being radiated.

MARISHA: I pull out the hunk of Quall again. Anything? Hold it closer to the symbol.

MATT: It does not seem to be reacting to anything in the immediate vicinity.

TRAVIS: Man, somebody does not like sculptures.

SAM: That–

TALIESIN: Those aren’t sculptures.

MARISHA: Can I do a nature check?

TRAVIS: No, it’s art, I get it.

MATT: What languages do you know?

TRAVIS: It’s like, interpretations and it seems whimsical–

LAURA: Can I hop on the broom and fly up and see if I could spot some basilisks around?

MATT: Sure.

ASHLEY: Well, Percy, what do you think they are?

TRAVIS: Where is she going?

MARISHA: Sorry. Elven, Sylvan, Druidic, Primordial.

MATT: As you walk up and begin to hold the Hunk of Quall towards it, you see that the language– the script that is beneath the initial symbol of Ioun that Scanlan had seen is Elvish.

MARISHA: Oh, okay.

MATT: The rough translation is of old, old, old text, it reads, “A name is earned.”

MARISHA: A name is earned?

MATT: A name is earned.

TALIESIN: Oh, no.

MATT: And beneath it, there is what appears to be– the other large carving you saw on it– it looks like a triangle. A dark, recessed triangle that is just built beneath the text that tapers internally into a point. It is almost like a reverse pyramid on the inside. It is just an empty space that comes to a point.

TALIESIN: Oh, no. I think that there are basilisks nearby.

LAURA: Do I see any?

TALIESIN: I think these statues are victims.

MARISHA: Can I do a nature check? To see if I can see any signs of basilisks?

MATT: Sure. Make a nature check and you make perception check.

SAM: Are we having a short– is this a short rest?

MATT: No.

MARISHA: 21.

MATT: 21.

LAURA: 26.

MATT: 26. You glance up above, and you do not see any basilisks. What you can see, this clearing itself is visible from your height, but once you get above the tree-line, you can see the trees are pretty thick. You don’t see any signs of basilisks in the vicinity. You, upon looking around the ground, you can see– it’s very muddy now from all the snow that had melted down, and you see that some of the mud is slicking into holes in the ground. Like four-foot-wide cavernous holes that were dug, like little burrows that now have all this water and mud seeping into them.

MARISHA: Oh, it was made by a creature, it looks like?

MATT: It looks like. Which one of them (bubbling), expels a bunch of the mud and water, it just comes bubbling outward. At which point, you see something burst out and emerge onto the ground nearby. More of these holes start bursting forth, all the mud and liquid that has seeped into it is now being forced outward, and these creatures, now covered in mud, you can see long, lizard-like bodies with a toothy snout, multiple legs, rows of them down the spine, and its tail flickering about.

LIAM: I’m closing my eyes.

LAURA: Don’t look at them!

MATT: I would like you all to roll initiative.

MARISHA: Fuck. Shit. I’m standing right in the middle of them.

TRAVIS: Fuck you.

MARISHA: Got the fucking shittiest initiative rolls.

ASHLEY: Yikes.

TALIESIN: I have a terrible initiative roll.

SAM: Okay, this is it.

TRAVIS: Feral Instinct’s screwing me up.

SAM: Battle in the snow. But we’ve got Ashley.

MATT: It’s hard to see with the mud across their surface, but you do see hints of blue coming through. You have encountered these previously– these are referred to as the ice-scaled basilisks, the ones that are more specific to this indigenous region. All righty. So, going by initiative order here, folks, 25 to 20?

LAURA: 22.

MATT: 22.

TRAVIS: Percy?

MATT: 20 to 15?

LIAM: 18.

SAM: 19.

MATT: 15 to ten?

TALIESIN: 13.

TRAVIS: 11.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: I rolled really badly.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: Pike?

ASHLEY: I know, I know, my initiative is always shit.

TRAVIS: Welcome back, Pike!

LAURA: She likes to get the lay of the land before she attacks.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, you know, I do the clean-up.

MATT: Is that everybody?

MARISHA: Pike.

ASHLEY: I’m eight.

MATT: Pike? Oh. All right. Due to the series of rolls here, they’re going last.

SAM: Oh!

MATT: They rolled a five, minus one penalty to dex. So, as these– which more of them burst up right next to Scanlan right there.

SAM: Oh, great.

MATT: As they all burst out of the ground, shaking their heads off of the mud, swinging off, slapping into the stone, splattering across the white snow around them, across some of you, they snarl and hiss. As you see their eyes now (click).

LIAM: Merry Christmas.

MATT: So, top of this would be you, Vex. You actually would be on top here, on the broom, looking from above.

LAURA: We can’t look at them, right? We remember that from before?

MATT: You remember, you’ll want to try not to.

LAURA: Can we– we can look at them to shoot at them and look away? Just don’t look at them at all?

MATT: You can choose at the start of your turn whether to avert your gaze or not. You’ll have disadvantage on pretty much everything as long as you’re doing that.

LAURA: Ah, that’s so annoying! I can’t tell how everybody’s clumped. They’re– just basically they’re all amongst all of our friends.

MATT: There’s three right here, and one right there behind. It’s one, two, three, four.

LAURA: Okay. Can I fly down and land on a tall tree?

MATT: You can try to.

LAURA: Try to brace myself?

MATT: If you would like to try to.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Let’s say for the purposes of this, that you coast down to the height. Stupid broom. Let’s say you land down somewhere over here.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: All righty? There you are.

LAURA: Okay. I avert my gaze-ish, I look off to the side of one, but I can see it in my peripheral, is that how it goes, or it’s like–?

MATT: You kind of guess where it is real fast, in the peripheral and kind of–

LAURA: I Hunter’s Mark one.

MATT: Which one?

TRAVIS: Laser pointer.

LAURA: Is that Scanlan? That it’s next to?

LIAM: Yeah, it’s Scanlan next to one of them.

LAURA: I do the one next to Scanlan– That was my eye. That’s just a flashlight. Oh, that’s how I do it, okay.

MATT: And what are you doing?

LAURA: I’m going to–

LIAM: Professional D&D player.

LAURA: That’s right. And I’m going to shoot it!

MATT: Go for it.

LAURA: Through the Blazing Bowstring.

MATT: Okay. So go ahead and roll with disadvantage for the first strike.

LAURA: Oh, I don’t get regular because it’s my favored terrain, so I cancel it all out?

MATT: It’s disadvantage for averting your gaze, advantage for being your favored terrain– I don’t think you get advantage on attacks for being in favored terrain, do you? I think it’s just on ability checks.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Yeah. So you’re at disadvantage.

LAURA: I’m at disadvantage.

MATT: I’ll double-check this so the internet doesn’t scream at me.

LAURA: 18.

MATT: 18 with disadvantage?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: That still hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

LAURA: Plus the Blazing Bowstring, plus an additional d10.

MATT: First attack on the basilisk near Scanlan.

LAURA: 17.

MATT: 17 damage? All right, go ahead and roll for the second attack, with disadvantage as well.

LAURA: 17.

MATT: 17 does hit as well. So roll for that one. You included the Blazing Bowstring for the first one, right?

LAURA: Yes. 15 on the second.

MATT: 15 points of damage. Holding on the top of the tree, which is starting to bow a little bit with your weight, and you’re clutching the broom under one arm, and you pull back and release two arrows in succession, both finding their mark. You did Hunter’s Mark damage on top of those?

LAURA: Yes I did.

MATT: All right, good. You see, Scanlan, as you try and avert your gaze momentarily as you see the giant creature there, and you recall, two arrows streak past, which gives you a little PTSD, based on your morning. So that’ll complete your turn?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: All right. Scanlan, you’re up.

SAM: It’s right next to me?

MATT: Yes. Are you averting your gaze or not?

SAM: I’m averting my gaze.

MATT: All righty.

SAM: Well jeez, I mean, do I know where they are?

MATT: You saw them all burst out, once they shook off the mud, you heard her shouting and you were like, oh, hmm.

SAM: So I kind of know where they are. All right. I’m going to hop away five feet from the guy who’s– I’m going to get an attack– yeah, that’s a fine direction, sure.

MATT: It lunges out at you with a strike.

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: That is a 22 to hit?

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: All righty. As you pull away, pain strikes your body as the sharp, stone-crumbling teeth of the basilisk reach out and pierce your body for 12 points of piercing damage. You wrestle your elbow out of the way, you can feel the wound beneath your leather armor.

TALIESIN: That’s barely an arrow and a chicken in the neck.

SAM: (laughs) Okay. And I’m going to aim to the one in the middle there– does anyone have a pointer? Yeah, that one. The other two are within 20 feet of him, yes?

MATT: Yes.

SAM: So I will cast a Wand of Fireballs right there on him.

LAURA: Yeah!

MATT: On him or behind him, or where–?

SAM: Just behind him so it hits all three?

MATT: Right, and not yourself.

SAM: Yes?

MATT: I figured that’s probably what you want to do, okay. As you back up, release it in that direction, the beam of light streaks out from the wand, hitting the snowbank right behind it and exploding. Already the slushy atmosphere is– snow and fire scatter around it as they both screech out in pain. DC of what?

SAM: Oh! DC 15! I wrote it down.

MATT: 15. That’s… first one fails. Second one rolled a 15, with its minus one dex, that’s a 14, that’s a fail. And a natural one. So full damage for all three of them. Go ahead and roll that 8d6. Vax, you’re on deck, so be ready.

LIAM: All right, okay.

SAM: 25!

MATT: 25 points of damage total. The flames subside after the force of the explosion. The obelisk itself shakes from the impact. The three basilisks look notably charred, whatever mud was on them is immediately dried and is now cracking on the outside of their scales. You hear the hissing at their presence. You want to keep moving or stay where you are?

SAM: I’ll tuck around the obelisk a little bit.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: And I’ll turn to Pike, my love, and inspire her with a song. I will sing, (singing) I used to scry you on the shit phone…

(laughter)

SAM: (singing) Late-night when I need your love! I know when that poop phone glows, it can only be one gnome! Ever since you left the party, you, you–

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Yes!

MATT: Take your d10 inspiration die, Pike. All right, so d10 inspiration die for you. Vax, you’re up.

LIAM: Yes. I’m going to click my heels together, set the boots going. I’m going to go very far away towards you, your end of the map. I want to be about a little away from the tree, though, so I’ve got a clear sight on that one– further back, though. I know. I want to be 50 feet away. Yeah.

MATT: Okay. You’re far away, you’re off-map.

LIAM: And I’m going to dagger-dagger-dagger him from very far away.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Dagger-dagger-dagger!

LIAM: And I’m going to use that sharpshooter trick where I take a negative five to attack, but add ten to damage?

MATT: Okay. Go for it.

LAURA: On all of them?

MATT: Are you averting your gaze?

LIAM: No.

SAM: Whoa!

MATT: All right, so at the start of your turn, on your first part of the round, I want you to go ahead and make a constitution saving throw.

LIAM: From this far away?

MATT: When you started your turn, you were in melee.

LIAM: Okay. So constitution?

MATT: Constitution saving throw.

LIAM: 16.

MATT: 16 total?

LIAM: Yes.

MATT: Okay. The gaze is upon you as you glance over and see the basilisk turn its head over its shoulder at you and hisses, and the eyes catch you. You can feel the magical effects take hold of your body for a moment. You back away and quickly close your eyes, and you can feel that it begin to reach over but you shake it off.

LIAM: Oh yeah! Gamble worked out, man!

MATT: So you do not have disadvantage in these attacks.

LIAM: Yeah, I know.

MATT: Minus five for each attack.

LIAM: First one, and advantage because I’m going before it, so the first one is 18.

MATT: 18 hits.

LIAM: Second is 14. And the third is 27.

MATT: First hits, last hits.

LIAM: Last hits?

MATT: Yes.

LIAM: Okay. First one gets sneak attack damage, and plus ten to both hits because of the sharpshooter.

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: Right. So, here we go.

LAURA: (singing) There can only be one gnome.

LIAM: I can’t think! 33…. 43 for the first one.

SAM: 43?!

LIAM: No-no-no… 43 plus… 49 for the first one.

MATT: 49 points of damage.

LIAM: And the last one that hits is 19. Sharpshooter.

MATT: As you run backwards, at the basilisk glaring back at you, its toothy mouth opening and the breath out, you shake it off. Throw the daggers. One (impact) sticks into one eye, and the other just (impact) into the other, and it–

(cheering)

MARISHA: Damn!

LAURA: That was fast.

MATT: The snow nearby is spattered with this kind of dark-purple basilisk blood.

SAM: Ugh! My eyes…

LAURA: (gasp) Basilisk blood! We need to take the basilisk blood! Remember, that’s super good…

MARISHA: Yes! Yup. Uh-huh.

MATT: You want to stay where you are?

LIAM: I will take another ten feet back away from it all. Bye, guys!

MATT: All right. Percy, you’re up.

TALIESIN: Okay!

MATT: Avert your gaze or… ?

TALIESIN: No.

MATT: Roll a constitution save.

MARISHA: Gamblers!

LIAM: (singing) You got to know when to hold 'em!

TALIESIN: That’s a… (counts) 21 points.

MATT: 21?

TALIESIN: Constitution save.

SAM: Oh, it’s a save! That’s right!

MATT: What did you roll?

TALIESIN: I rolled a 14 plus seven.

MATT: That’s great!

TALIESIN: I look at it in the eye.

MATT: You stare it down and it kind of (snarls).

TALIESIN: (barks) Bark it down.

MATT: Orthax has left his mark on you.

TALIESIN: I know. I cast Hex on it. I’m looking at the one she’s Hunter’s Marked, I cast Hex.

LAURA: Ooh, nice!

LIAM: Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie?

MATT: Same one that she’s Hunter’s Marked?

TALIESIN: Yeah. And I’m taking… I’m giving it a disadvantage on willpower ability checks.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: And I’m going to take three shots with Sharpshooter.

MATT: Go for it.

TALIESIN: 12. Misses.

MATT: Misses, unfortunately.

TALIESIN: Oh my god, goodbye! Going to the good die, 12…. Better! 24.

MATT: Yeah, third shot hits. Go ahead and roll damage. With the Hex damage as well.

TALIESIN: Oh my god! I’m sucking. 22 points of damage.

MATT: 22 points of damage. So the first shot goes wide. Second shot goes wide again. For some reason, it’s moving faster than you expected at this moment, missing your sights. The third shot manages to find the front of its nose and (shattering) the front of its skull shatters and it kind of crumbles to the ground.

TALIESIN: So, while shooting, I ran from that one tree all the way to the other one. That was a running shot, so…

MATT: Okay, so you run this way?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LIAM: It was a lot harder the last time.

TALIESIN: Behind the tree over there.

MATT: Over here? Because you can only get about that far with your running.

TALIESIN: About there.

MATT: Right there? Okay. Then you got behind there. That’s fine. All right, that ends your turn, Percy. Grog, you’re up.

TRAVIS: I would like to avert my gaze, and go into an averted-gaze rage! (growls)

(laughter)

TRAVIS: And I would like to run at that little bastard right there.

MATT: All right.

LIAM: (Grog voice) I can’t see you but I’m so angry!

TRAVIS: I’m using my Feral– no, that’s wrong. I’m using my… what the fuck is it called?

TALIESIN: Slap Fight. Hair Pull.

TRAVIS: I’ve totally forgotten what’s it called. What the fuck is it? Reckless Attack!

MATT: All right, there you go.

TRAVIS: Yes. So can I cancel out the disadvantage and get just a normal roll?

MATT: Yes, you would have a normal roll on this.

TRAVIS: Yes! And Great Weapon Master on these two strikes.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: Shit! Nine.

MATT: (whoosh)

TRAVIS: (yells) (laughs) Shit! Nope.

LAURA: It’s a bad luck night for Grog rolling!

MATT: You rush forward (sword swinging). You thought it was there, you’re sure it was there, you heard it hiss. It’s about two inches below where you swung.

TRAVIS: I’m so mad that I come out of my rage because I don’t hit anything, right?

MATT: You don’t have to hit it. You have to attack. There’s a difference.

TRAVIS: Well, I’ve been swinging.

MATT: Yeah. (laughs) Ending Grog’s turn, Keyleth, you’re up.

MARISHA: How many are left? Two?

MATT: There are two left.

MARISHA: I am remembering what the basilisks did last time, and I’ve only done this once before, and am going to go…

MATT: Avert your gaze or not?

MARISHA: I’m looking down and transforming into a giant scorpion.

TALIESIN: Scorpions are fascinating.

SAM: How so? They don’t have eyes, or something?

MARISHA: Yeah, they have blindsight.

SAM: Wait, what does that mean?

MARISHA: It means they don’t use their eyes to see things. They have blindsight.

MATT: So Scanlan, as you’re averting your gaze, you glance over as Keyleth goes (poof) into this giant scorpion, big tail, big pincers, black and red carapace. It’s upsetting.

SAM: I’m scared.

MARISHA: (clicking pincers)

TALIESIN: That’s really upsetting.

MARISHA: Where are they? The two are kind of in the middle there?

SAM: One’s next to Grog.

MARISHA: Okay. I’m going to move in between them and I’m going to do a multiattack on both of those. I’ll start on the one that Grog’s not focusing on.

MATT: Okay, go for it.

MARISHA: So I have three attacks, two with my claws and one with my stinger.

MATT: Do it. Disadvantage on all attacks.

MARISHA: No, why?

MATT: Because you averted your gaze.

MARISHA: No, I didn’t. I have blindsight as a scorpion.

MATT: Right, but at the start of your turn, before anything happens, is when it happens. Did you avert your gaze or not?

MARISHA: No, I turned into a scorpion.

MATT: Before that happened, at the start of your turn, did you avert your gaze or not?

LIAM: You said you averted your gaze.

MARISHA: I said I looked down, but once I’m a scorpion, I have blindsight.

MATT: Right, but the effect takes place before your transformation happens. So, yes or no, do you want to take the advantage or not?

MARISHA: Well, I said I looked down and turned into a scorpion to try and avoid it, so… I mean, I did, yeah.

MATT: All right, so disadvantage on the attacks.

MARISHA: That’s the whole reason I did the scorpion.

SAM: But it’s also looking cool.

LAURA: It’s okay, from here on out, you’re fine.

MARISHA: Miss. Six misses, for the first one. That’s a three, it misses again. Nope, that’s a two. Last one is an eight, plus a four… So that’s 12. Probably still nothing.

MATT: Let me think here for a second. The scorpion has blindsight?

SAM: Starring Ashley Johnson! Blindsight!

TALIESIN: How did we not walk into that? How have we been sitting here and that didn’t happen?

MARISHA: That legitimately made me spit my fucking coffee in my face.

MATT: No, you’re right. I was thinking more in terms of it averting the magical power of the basilisk, but you could still avert and blindsight would allow you to still know where it is without having the disadvantage, so yes.

LIAM: Although with coffee in the eye, disadvantage is back.

MATT: This is true. I’ll let you reroll those attacks.

MARISHA: All three? Okay, I wish I remembered them. Do you want me to reroll all three?

MATT: Just reroll all three. That’s on me. I was thinking in wrong terms.

SAM: Matt, you’re the worst.

MATT: I know. I know, I am the worst.

MARISHA: Jeez, I’m going to tweet at you later about this.

TALIESIN: Actually Matt, how blindsight works…

MATT: They’ve already been sent, I’m sure.

TALIESIN: I’m shutting the fuck up now.

MARISHA: These are just straight, they don’t have disadvantage? First attack, 14.

MATT: 14 does not hit, unfortunately.

MARISHA: Second attack was a natural 18, so 22.

MATT: That does hit. And for the tail?

MARISHA: For the tail, 16.

MATT: 16 hits. That was my bad.

LIAM: Just a bunch of idiots dorking around, guys.

TALIESIN: There is coffee everywhere.

MARISHA: That’s not very much. Four damage for the claw attack, and then for the sting, oh my god. Three damage, and they have to take a constitution saving throw.

MATT: 15, what’s the DC?

MARISHA: 12.

MATT: Yeah, so it makes the save.

MARISHA: Fuck.

SAM: Yeah, Keyleth, good one!

MARISHA: Okay, they take 4d10 poison, and on a failed save, they take half as much.

MATT: Okay, so roll 4d10.

SAM: 4d10 is a lot!

LAURA: You should be a scorpion all the time!

MARISHA: Thanks guys! Wow, these are fucking horrifying rolls. Six, seven, eight, nine, plus seven is 16 points of poison damage.

MATT: Total, so that would be eight for half of it.

MARISHA: No, that is halved.

MATT: Nice, that’s not bad at all. All right, so as your first claw streaks off its armor, the second one grabs hold and– hold on a second.

LIAM: I’m listening!

MATT: Thank you.

MARISHA: Sorry, it was eight damage.

TALIESIN: No, you did, because you did half the dice.

SAM: No, she did 4d10.

TALIESIN: She did 4d10?

MARISHA: Eight damage.

MATT: Eight damage, all right. All right, so as the first claw streaks across its armor, second one manages to grab and actually pince onto it, dealing some damage. As you’re holding it there, the tail strikes inward, manages to pierce the outside of the scaly basilisk hide. Not as effective as it could’ve been, but still you see its body tense with the sudden pulse of poison in its system. That brings us to Pike! What’s up?

ASHLEY: Okay. Since I can’t see it, is there any way that I can Guiding Bolt one of the basilisks without hurting anybody?

MATT: Yeah, but for Guiding Bolt I believe it’s a spell attack roll. Am I correct on that? Or does it automatically hit? I’m trying to remember which one it is. You guys have so many spells. Guiding Bolt, yeah. You can totally Guiding Bolt. You’ll have disadvantage on the attack roll, but you can do it still.

LAURA: Do it, Pike!

ASHLEY: All right, let’s do it!

MATT: All right, so go ahead and roll with disadvantage on the attack.

SAM: Which one, the one near Grog or the one near scorpion-face?

ASHLEY: Which one would I not hurt anybody?

MATT: It’s not so much you hurting anybody, you wouldn’t hit anybody. It’s about if you miss or not.

MARISHA: Grog and I can take it anyway.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LIAM: The one by Grog.

ASHLEY: Yeah, we’ll do the one by Grog.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Oh, natural 20!

MATT: But it’s with disadvantage, so you have to roll it again.

LIAM: Say it again.

TALIESIN: One in 20 chance.

ASHLEY: 13.

MATT: With that, unfortunately, as you’re holding your eyes at bay–

SAM: Wait! You’re inspired!

MATT: You can add the inspiration dice if you want to.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I’ll add inspiration!

MATT: Okay, so roll a d10 and add that to the attack. 13 plus…

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay. All right, seven. So 20.

MATT: Go ahead and roll damage on Guiding Bolt. So 4d6 radiant damage.

ASHLEY: Okay… 17!

MATT: Nice, all right! 17 points of radiant damage, and now there is a glowing hue of radiant light around it, so even though you’re not looking at it, it’s a pretty decent beacon, so it gives advantage on the next attack roll against it. Keep that in mind. Do you want to move at all or do you want to stay where you are, Pike?

ASHLEY: I’ll stay, yeah, I’ll stay.

MATT: All right. Now it is their turn. This one turns around and it’s going to go ahead and make a bite attack against you, Keyleth, in scorpion form. That’s a 17, plus six?

MARISHA: That hits.

MATT: All right. You take 11, plus three. 14 points of piercing damage, plus seven points of poison damage.

MARISHA: So that was 21?

TALIESIN: My brain is not doing numbers for some reason.

MARISHA: I know, and I keep looking at you.

MATT: Against you, Grog… It hits you regardless. It has advantage on you because you’re averting your gaze, plus you had your reckless attack last round. It still only rolls a nine, plus six, so that’s 14? 15 to hit.

TRAVIS: Misses.

MATT: This one bites out towards you, and even though it’s not there, because it’s so bright, you see it shift, and you (boom) hit it in the front of its snout with the base of your sword. That brings us to the top of the initiative order. Vex, you’re up.

LAURA: Awesome. So it’s the glowing one, I get advantage on the attack, because it’s glowing?

MATT: You do, yes.

LAURA: I’m going to Hunter’s Mark it.

MATT: Okay, so Hunter’s Mark moves over.

LAURA: I’m going to avert my gaze, and roll a regular attack then? Since it’s advantage?

MATT: Yes. It cancels out the disadvantage. So roll your first attack against it.

LAURA: That’s 31.

MATT: 31 hits, yeah.

LAURA: 15 plus Hunter’s Mark– Oh, I didn’t Hunter’s Mark it.

MATT and TALIESIN: Yeah, you did.

LAURA: Okay! What did I say, 15? 18.

MATT: 18, all right. So the first arrow strikes into it. It’s still standing. It’s looking a little hurt, but it’s still standing.

LAURA: And then do I still get regular attacks? This is at disadvantage.

MATT: Disadvantage on the next one, yeah.

LAURA: 19?

MATT: Yeah. What’s your total? 19 with disadvantage? That does hit, yep.

LAURA: 18.

MATT: 18, all right. This arrow, however, manages to strike through the top of the head, stapling the mouth shut, and it falls to the ground as its eyes slowly glaze over.

LAURA: I roar from up in the tree!

TALIESIN: Wait, do you let go of the broom to roar?

LAURA: No, I hold the broom in my hand!

MARISHA: Katy Perry style.

LAURA: Defying Gravity style.

LIAM: Holding it in your hand while you’re flying on it?

LAURA: I’m not flying, I’m in a tree, dude.

MATT: Yeah, she’s clutched up on top of a tree.

LIAM: I’m not looking at you.

MATT: All right, that brings us to Scanlan. Are you averting your gaze or not?

SAM: I’m not only averting my gaze, I’m looking towards the holes that it came out of, any of the holes that are near me.

MATT: There’s two that are near you.

SAM: Okay, I’m going to go over to one and throw a Fireball down into it.

MATT: Okay! So, Scanlan, you walk over to the nearby holes behind you, where the one that snuck up behind you essentially came out of, aim down, and make sure you mark off these charges for each use of the wand.

SAM: Yes.

MATT: You (whoosh) release the beam, which gets about 15, 20 feet down before it blasts. I need you to make a dexterity saving throw.

TRAVIS: Like putting yourself at the mouth of a cannon.

SAM: Seven.

LAURA: Oh no!

MATT: Roll 8d6. But take half damage, because it’s mostly guarded and this is a circumstantial, at the outskirts of it, you’re not taking the full brunt of the Fireball. However, you do get caught in the very edge of the backblast.

SAM: 29.

MATT: So you take half that. So you take 15 points of fire damage and are blown about five feet backward onto the ground. However, the ground shudders beneath all your feet, and the earth, the wet damp earth (squelch) sinks inward and the tunnel collapses. A few of the others (squelch) into it. There’s still a couple more on the opposite side that are open. There’s two more on this side that are open.

SAM: So the tunnels nearest me are not accessible anymore.

MATT: The two that were there and there both, the ground from it shuddering, collapsed inward, and now the mud has filled the space. There’s these small sinkholes where they were.

SAM: All right. I’ll spend the rest of my time in this round licking my wounds and studying the obelisk to see if I can see any other clues or anything on it.

MATT: Okay. You can see the text that she saw upon there, the Elvish script.

SAM: I can’t read it, though.

MATT: But you see it there, and you see the triangle, a dark recessed triangle about that big that is in the base of it.

SAM: Is it a hole, or is it…?

MATT: It’s a hole, but it’s carved. It’s not a perfect triangle, it starts as a triangle and slowly, as it recesses inward, comes to a point towards the back.

TALIESIN: Like a reverse pyramid.

SAM: I throw a snowball in it.

MATT: (impact)

SAM: It’s safe, guys.

MATT: Vax, you’re up.

LIAM: All right, I’m off the map, but I want to try to come down towards the tree that I think Percy’s at. He’s between two trees. I’m going to avert my gaze, I’m going to look at the ground, come up around the side of that tree, and I’m listening for scorpion clacking and basilisk hissing, and I’m going to throw, dagger dagger dagger, in the direction of the basilisk I hear near scorpion claws clutching. Does that make sense?

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LIAM: All right. So this is at disadvantage because I’m looking at the ground. So first one is… first one is a 21.

MATT: 21 hits.

LIAM: And second one is… 19?

MATT: Hits.

LIAM: Third one is 16.

MATT: Hits. These are not with Sharpshooter?

LIAM: No, not at all. So we’ve got ten, plus nine, plus ten.

MATT: With that, your final dagger hits in the side of its rib cage, and the creature slumps over on the ground, letting out a horrible, gurgling hiss as it slowly dies amongst the mud.

LIAM: Daredevil.

LAURA: Was that all of them?

MATT: Currently, yes. Make a perception check.

LAURA: Okay. Oh, I roll with advantage, because I’m in the forest! Oh my god, I rolled a one twice in a fucking row. I see nothing.

SAM: Two natural ones?

MARISHA: We are fucking eating it on rolls tonight.

MATT: You’re about to look down to inspect the vicinity. However, the tree is starting to bow forward and you (grunt) have to catch yourself, and you have no chance to even survey the territory.

TALIESIN: Pine sap gets in your eye.

LIAM: Laura Bailey dies on stream.

TRAVIS: I rolled a 16.

MATT: As you take a moment, the rage still in, you can hear the blood pumping in your ears, but you also hear the (hiss) rising hissing, what sounds like a distant echo coming up from a subterranean tunnel.

LAURA: Oh no.

MARISHA: Subterranean tunnel?

TRAVIS: Yeah. That Fireball, I think it might have pissed them off.

SAM: Good.

MARISHA: Can I use my blindsight tremor-sense to see if I can feel how far away they are?

MATT: You do. You feel beneath the ground. It’s less of a tremor-sense, more being able to sense the vibrations in the air around you. You can tell that there is motion coming from underneath.

MARISHA: Sounds like a lot of them?

MATT: A few more.

ASHLEY: Fireball the other holes?

MARISHA: I’m going to drop my scorpion form.

SAM: Oh, god, Keyleth, you’re horrible! Oh, wait, no, you’ve turned back to normal.

MARISHA: The things you say, Scanlan. I’m just going to do a Wall of Stone, flat over the area with the holes.

MATT: So from the stone chunks and portions of the shattered bodies that litter part of this garden, a giant stone wall forms around them and builds over it, sealing these holes. Eventually you hear a (knocking) (reptilian snarl) scraping sounds.

SAM: They’re friendly!

LIAM: “I can’t breathe down here!”

MATT: They’re not budging it, they’re just hitting it from underneath, and it’s getting more frantic as time goes on.

SAM: How long can you hold that?

MARISHA: It’ll last until they bust out of it, so we either keep moving or figure out where we’re going from here.

SAM: What is this obelisk? It seems important if these things are protecting it.

LAURA: What does it say?

MARISHA: It has writing in Elvish in it.

SAM: What does it say?

MARISHA: It says, a name is earned, in Elvish.

SAM: Should we say a name to it and see what happens?

MATT: One of the stone parts of the wall begins to crack from underneath.

LAURA: Didn’t Osysa say something about, her mate wouldn’t say its name?

SAM: That’s right, that’s right.

LAURA: And this is a symbol of Ioun.

TRAVIS: Should we say Ioun in Elvish?

MARISHA: I say Ioun in Elvish.

MATT: You say it out into the air.

SAM: Why don’t you say it into this triangle hole over here?

MARISHA: Ioun!

LAURA: Say knowledge in Elvish.

MARISHA: Knowledge!

SAM: Elvish is just English except muffled.

MARISHA: I’m going in the triangle hole!

MATT: A moment passes.

MARISHA: Osysa! Sphinx!

LAURA: A name is earned.

TRAVIS: What’s in the hole?

MARISHA: What’s in the hole?

SAM: I don’t know what’s in the hole. Nothing.

MATT: A basilisk face bursts through the stone wall.

SAM: Whack-a-Mole! Grog! Whack-a-Mole!

TRAVIS: Can I run over and play golf?

MATT: Yeah. Do you want to avert your gaze or not?

TRAVIS: Nah.

MATT: All right, I need you to make a constitution saving throw.

LIAM: Shite.

TRAVIS: 22.

MATT: Without an issue, the eyes find yours and you just grin as you bring… what kind of attacks do you want to do?

TRAVIS: Reckless and Great Weapon Master.

MATT: All right, go for it.

TRAVIS: That’s a natural 20. I’ll take that one on the first one.

MATT: Okay, and the other one?

TRAVIS: 19. 20.

MATT: Both hit. The first is a critical. This would be over here.

TRAVIS: 31?

MATT: Did you roll the… Is that times two?

TRAVIS: No, that’s just the attack.

LIAM: It’s critical.

MATT: Before you add your modifier.

TRAVIS: Before the modifier? It was 12 before the modifier.

MATT: So 24 plus the modifier.

TRAVIS: Which is 32, plus ten is 42.

MATT: 42. Did you roll the additional brutal critical rolls?

TRAVIS: Nope.

MATT: So roll 4d6 on top of that, because of your brutal critical. I think it is.

LIAM: I think we can all agree it’s the jelly of the month club at this point.

TRAVIS: 17.

MATT: For a grand total of…

SAM: 59?

LAURA: Do you double those ones though, because it’s the dice?

TRAVIS: That’s just the first hit.

MATT: Yeah, all right. 59 points of damage. You square up.

TRAVIS: Happy Gilmore-style.

MATT: You strike down with the blade at an angle, using the stone holding it in place like an executioner’s block, and the blade scrapes against the stone as you strike, finding itself embedding about seven to eight inches into the throat of the basilisk as its head’s protruding out. Immediately, blood begins to pour out of its side, and it’s gurgling at its attempt to try and push through. You wedge the blade out. Go for your next strike. You already rolled your attack, which was a 19, so roll damage on that one.

TRAVIS: Seven, 12, 20, 30, on the second one.

LIAM: Oh, that’s all?

MATT: With the second strike, you (whoosh) clean slice. The head (splat) onto the stonework there, the body still wedging the hole shut. The neck is a clean cut, and starts gouting blood out.

TRAVIS: I dip the tip of the sword into the little well and I pick up the head.

MATT: Which, by the way, both saving throws were failed, so you gain another plus two to strength.

SAM: Wow, you’re catching up to Pike!

LAURA: Ow! Nothing.

TALIESIN: Did you cut yourself on your cup?

LAURA: No, I just hit my tooth.

MARISHA and TALIESIN: Oh, I hate that.

MATT: All right, so you can feel the impact still attempting from beneath growing more and more frantic.

MARISHA: I say, earned!

ASHLEY: Can I go collect some of the (stuttering) basilisk– I can’t say that. Can I get some of the blood and collect it?

MATT: Sure. And you notice that the longer it stays out there, the blood itself is beginning to freeze in the general atmosphere and get slushy.

LAURA: We can get some and put it in my bag. It keeps things good.

ASHLEY: Can I stab the carcass then in another area and get some fresh in the body?

MATT: Yeah, there’s plenty of carcasses of basilisks around. As they’re inspecting, and you still feel the impacts from underneath the stone wall from the other tunnel, you manage to gather, we’ll say two small vials of basilisk blood.

ASHLEY: Vex!

TRAVIS: Yeah, put it in Vex’s little refrigerator Bag of Holding.

MATT: Okay. The slamming on the other side of the stone wall slowly subsides until silence comes.

MARISHA: Did they give up?

TRAVIS: Has anybody put their hand in the hole yet?

LAURA: It’s all you, Grog.

TRAVIS: All right, I put my hand in the hole.

MATT: Where the one you killed is?

TRAVIS: No, the triangle.

MATT: Okay. So you take your hand and you place it inside this empty recess in the obelisk. It reaches in, and the shadow of the obelisk completely takes it to the wrist. Nothing happens.

SAM: I’m going to take my Ioun Stone and shove it in the hole.

MATT: Okay. You take the Ioun Stone and place it in the hole, and it has a soft light that it gives off naturally from the magical enchantment, and it lights the inside of the dark recess, and as you place it inside, the top of the obelisk begins to glow ever-so-faintly, like a little beacon. The very top of the stone glows a matching color to your stone.

MARISHA: A matching color?

MATT: Yeah. I need you all to make a perception check.

SAM: 17.

MARISHA: 14.

LIAM: 16.

TRAVIS: 19!

LAURA: 25.

TALIESIN: 11.

SAM: Ashley Blindsight?

ASHLEY: 16!

MATT: Okay. You catch a little bit of this, Grog, and you perk up as you notice, and you see immediately. There is a matching beacon, a faint glow that appears to be streaking down the mountainside in the distance. It’s a little bit off-center from the direct south direction that you’re facing, but there is a slight marker, very faintly visible on the mountain range, just visible over the treetops.

LAURA: I drop a pin in that, and I tell Keyleth, now you can use that thing!

MARISHA: I hold up the Hunk of Quall.

LAURA: No, I mean your spell, Keyleth. Fastest way to get to this point!

MARISHA: I didn’t bring it because everyone said not to learn that spell.

SAM: That was today, wasn’t it?

LAURA: I thought you already learned it.

MARISHA: He said to learn something else because it wasn’t going to be useful.

LAURA: No, he said just don’t use that thing!

MARISHA: No, you said to learn something, it was at the beginning of the day!

SAM: You can’t unlearn things! It’s all good.

LAURA: It’s okay, it’s okay. I can see it.

MATT: You had it already memorized when you guys got to the edge of the forest, I’m pretty sure.

MARISHA: Okay. I thought you were saying to pick something else because it wouldn’t be handy. But I take it back, and I’ll use it now if you want.

TALIESIN: No, we’re good. We’re good.

MARISHA: I’m so confused.

MATT: Up to you.

MARISHA: Is it me tonight?

TALIESIN: It is a really weird pot of coffee. It’s not just you.

MARISHA: Do I need sleep? What am I missing?

MATT: It’s all good.

MARISHA: I can keep it.

TRAVIS: Just lick your finger and stick it in the wind.

LAURA: Just use the spell and pretend that you never unlearned it.

MARISHA: I never unlearned it! It’s been there the whole time! I didn’t use it. It’s not like I used a 6th-level spell. Look, guys! Find the Path! That way!

MATT: Okay. So what is it that you’re focusing on for the spell?

MARISHA: That beam of light!

LAURA: That I pointed out to her.

MARISHA: That she pointed out. Am I doing this wrong?

MATT: No, you’re not doing it wrong! You cast the spell and, concentrating on the source of this beacon, you feel the direction that would pull you the best way to travel towards that beacon is to travel towards that beacon.

LIAM: Look, you’re just doing what the bossy half-elf told you to do. Just go with it.

MARISHA: What, that one?

LIAM: That’s the only bossy half-elf here.

SAM: DM, can I experiment and take away, if I take away my Ioun Stone, does the light fade?

MATT: As you pull the Ioun Stone out of it, the beacon does fade, yes. But you have a direction.

MARISHA: I have it marked now. I have a pin in it. Right, that counts?

MATT: Right. No matter where you travel in this place, you will have a directional position towards that beacon.

LAURA: See, there we go.

MARISHA: Fucking handy, that one is.

TRAVIS: Yep, redemption.

MARISHA: Totally a great 6th-level spell I’m going to use all the time going forward.

LIAM: Oh, for fuck’s sake. Here we go, people. Here we go. And we’re moving.

TRAVIS: We take off at a jog now!

SAM: Wait, before we leave, is there anything else we need to do here? Do we need to go down into the tunnels? Do we need to piss on the obelisk? Do we want to do anything?

LIAM: You should piss on the obelisk just to be sure.

TALIESIN: You should lick it, too, after you piss on it.

TRAVIS: Let’s not.

SAM: Let’s go.

MATT: Are you guys leaving?

SAM: Wait, we need some basilisk blood and stuff!

LAURA: We got some!

MATT: You’re standing amongst the obelisk, a long series of mud with a bunch of mostly together stone statues of people and pieces of people around.

TRAVIS: Do we want to check the other building ruins? We didn’t check those at all. There’s a whole corner of a building over there.

LAURA: Sure.

TRAVIS: Well, go check it!

LAURA: I go look at it.

LIAM: Half-elves look at the building structure.

MATT: Make an investigation check.

TRAVIS: What the hot holy fuck.

LIAM: 26.

TALIESIN: It says it was forged by dwarves, that’s all I can understand.

LAURA: Investigation?

MATT: Investigation, yeah.

LAURA: 19.

MATT: 19, all right. You guys both start gathering around the sides of the ruin. Glancing about the outside, it looks like at one point it was a smaller structure, probably part of the construction, like this here was a satellite place of worship for Ioun, like a beacon as part of a journey. But nothing about it catches your eyes. As you’re stepping over the remnants of the stone individuals on the ground, you catch your eye on one of the individuals you see, lying partially submerged in the snow and mud. You glance down and see two arms that are out like this, although the right arm from the elbow down is missing. It’s broken off in stone. Both are reaching out. A young human male, shortish brown hair, spectacles at the end of his nose, thin body and tucked-in, nice buttoned shirt. Slacks. This is Tyriok, the mapmaker.

LIAM: The mapmaker?

TALIESIN: You’re a terrible person.

LAURA: No, why would you do that, Matthew?

MATT: I didn’t do this! He was traveling the world to take notes, people!

LIAM: I take… Wait! Everybody shush! I look at him for a moment and then I leave him, and I don’t tell anyone else.

MARISHA: What?

SAM: We have Pike with us!

LIAM: I don’t tell anyone else. Pike didn’t see him. His arm is broken off! You don’t fucking know he exists. He’s gone.

ASHLEY: But, but!

LAURA: That’s terrible!

TALIESIN: Why don’t you two just write a sequel to Batman/Superman while you’re at it? Just destroy everything. I don’t care anymore.

LAURA: We could heal him!

MATT: You don’t know. Eventually, after you guys do a perusal of the ruins, you find your way back to the party and you guys continue traveling which way, towards the beacon?

LAURA: Towards the beacon!

MARISHA: I’ve got it in my head now.

LIAM: Wait, wait, wait, I go to Pike. I go to Pike. Pike.

ASHLEY: Yeah? Hi, Vax!

LIAM: Do you remember that mapmaker? Were you with us? So much shit has happened. Do you remember Tyriok the mapmaker?

ASHLEY: I don’t think I was with you.

LIAM: There’s a man over there. His arm is gone. Can you fix stoning? Can you fix a man who’s been turned to stone?

ASHLEY: I can try. Remember one time we fixed Vex, when she was turned to stone, the last time we fought the basilisks.

LIAM: Two years ago, yeah. What did we do?

ASHLEY: We covered her in basilisk blood.

LIAM: I need to take a walk. Could you do that? Could you do that?

ASHLEY: Sure. Which stone is he?

LIAM: Look over there by that tree there. Do you see him? There’s two hands pointing towards the sky.

SAM: One hand.

LIAM: Two.

ASHLEY: One and a half. All right, can I head over there?

MATT: You walk over there, and you do see a number of broken body parts all turned to stone in various states of disuse and crumbling. You do see a young man who’s caught with his arms out, one broken off at the elbow, staring up, glasses at the end of his nose, looking both frightened and frozen in a moment of complete unaware danger.

ASHLEY: Okay. Can I try covering him in some of the basilisk’s blood?

MATT: Sure. You take one of the vials that you collected and take the basilisk blood and pour it over the statue. The blood congeals and spills over, crystallizing slowly as the ice cold gets to it. It doesn’t seem to have an effect.

ASHLEY: It’s been too long.

MATT: You gather, based on the last time it happened, the blood needs to be applied within a short period of time after the person turns to stone. Do you have anything else that might help?

ASHLEY: Probably Greater Restoration.

MATT: Do you have that prepared?

ASHLEY: I do.

MATT: You concentrate, grasping the symbol of Sarenrae around your neck and touch your hand out. The warm glow of Sarenrae’s divine energy transferring into the stone form. The form glows with energy, and the glow subsides and fades, the stone texture of his body beginning to slowly soften, and the color returning to his skin, and for a moment the head seems to shake, and the eyes clarify, and a voice begins to peek through these previously frozen vocal cords. “I mean no–” (screams) As all of a sudden his arm begins to spray gouts of blood.

TRAVIS: I got it! I got it! I start catching it with the sword.

MATT: (stuttering) He turns to you, and sprays right across your face.

TRAVIS: Good! Splash on! Yes!

MATT: “Help! Help me!”

ASHLEY: I grab his arm and Cure Wounds! I don’t know if that’s a really good move.

MATT: Go ahead and heal him up a bit.

ASHLEY: Can I try to reattach his arm?

MATT: You gather that might have been something to do before you had restored him.

SAM: Oh, shit.

MATT: However, go ahead and heal for Cure Wounds. Roll a d8 plus five.

TRAVIS: That’s kind of fucking hilarious.

ASHLEY: 5d8 plus five?

MATT: Depending on what level you want to use on him. A level one is 1d8 plus five.

ASHLEY: Oh, God, okay. I feel like I’m using all this, but I don’t know. Okay, so let’s do level five.

MATT: Level five. All right, go for it. 5d8 plus five.

TALIESIN: Not our finest hour. Pretty reasonable hour, but it’s definitely not the finest. We brought most of a mapmaker back.

MATT: So how much is that?

ASHLEY: 29.

MATT: 29, okay. As you reach out and grasp the edge of his bleeding stump…

ASHLEY: Stop moving!

MATT: “I just–” (yelps) The warmth causes the pain to fade and he calms for a second. “Oh. Sorry.” He looks down as the wound has stopped bleeding, skin is scabbed over, and it looks like it’s now in a place where it’s no longer an open wound. It is mostly healed over, though he is now missing part of his arm.

LAURA: Can you regrow his little arm like you regrew my brother’s little nubbin of a toe?

MATT: This is a bit beyond your healing capabilities.

TRAVIS: C'mon, Deadpool hand.

MATT: At which point he goes, “Thank you, small one. I–” And he goes to reach up for his glasses and… Other hand.

LAURA: Oh, we’re terrible.

TALIESIN: Technically saved seven-eighths of a mapmaker.

MATT: He looks around at the rest of you. “Oh! Hello, it’s been a while. We haven’t… Well, I seem to have gotten myself in a bit of a predicament.”

SAM: What happened?

MATT: “Well, I was… Well, I had two escorts. And I had been making my way through most of Tal'Dorei, and had gotten as far as this region, and… That’s all I remember.”

LAURA: Basilisks? Big lizard creatures?

MATT: “Yes. Very scary. I tried to run, and that’s all I remember.”

LAURA: Was it just the three of you, then? Not a large group of people?

MATT: “No, just three of us.”

ASHLEY: What were you doing over here?

MATT: “I was trying to finish this portion of the map. If I… Ah!” And he goes over and reaches through some of the snow and pulls up a large stone bag that is currently still attached to his broken arm.

TALIESIN: No!

MATT: “Um. Is this…?”

TRAVIS: Nope! No, no, that’s just part of a– It was a statue garden, it’s not a big deal. It’s just a fragment.

MATT: “All right. Well, these were my maps.”

SAM: Are they stone?

MATT: They are stone, currently.

LAURA: Can we– Oh, no.

TRAVIS: Is he on the ground still?

MATT: No, he’s standing. “Oh boy.” He takes his glasses off and goes to rub them into his shirt and… does it with one hand and puts them back on.

ASHLEY: Oh, buddy.

LAURA: I feel terrible.

MATT: “Well.”

TALIESIN: It’s like a one-legged duck walking around.

MATT: “What do I do?”

TRAVIS: Which hand does he have, his left?

MATT: He has his left hand.

TRAVIS: Are you right-handed?

MATT: “I’m kind of ambidextrous.”

TRAVIS: Thank gods for that.

LAURA: That’s good, that’s good. Well…

TALIESIN: A lot’s happened.

MATT: There’s shock on his face. He still hasn’t quite taken in all of this stuff.

SAM: Everything is going to be okay.

MARISHA: Well, you have a great story now.

TALIESIN: And a period of adjustment.

MATT: “This is very true. This is a valid point.”

TALIESIN: We should send him back to the encampment.

LAURA: It’s like a two-day walk.

SAM: These escorts you had with you who were also turned to stone, were they important to you? Were they friends of yours?

MATT: “I hired them as part of this endeavor. They were nice fellows. Hold on a second.” He starts walking off and starts rummaging through the pieces of stone and various people, picking up heads. “No. Well, that’s Alex. Golly, I don’t… I don’t know where Gerald is, but… Can I come with you for now?”

LAURA: Well, you’re more than– Actually–

TRAVIS: No.

LAURA: He’s rather smart, isn’t he?

SAM: He has knowledge of the area.

TALIESIN: That actually could be useful.

LAURA: Here’s the thing. It’s very dangerous, dear, and it’s quite possible you might be turned into stone again.

MATT: “I don’t want that.”

LAURA: No, we don’t want that for you, either.

TRAVIS: Also eaten alive, burned, shot, stabbed–

LAURA: Straight-up killed.

TRAVIS: – pulled apart, maimed–

LAURA: Beheaded.

TRAVIS: – Lacerated.

LAURA: All options.

TRAVIS: But that’s just in the mornings.

LAURA: But you’re more than welcome to join us, for a short amount of time. Or you can head back to a camp that’s about a day and a half away.

MATT: “All right. Whereabouts are you going?”

TRAVIS: We’re heading up the mountain.

MATT: I’ll head for the camp.

TRAVIS: Are you sure? We could always use you as a decoy– I mean, as an aid.

MATT: “I’m good. I’m all right. Thank you, though. I appreciate the offer. I have a lot to think about.”

MARISHA: I could…

TALIESIN: Well, we’ll run into him when we get back.

TRAVIS: Do you need a hand finding your way to the encampment?

SAM: Oh, Grog.

TALIESIN: Not cool.

LIAM: Groan.

MATT: He starts walking northward, basically trailing past the path where you guys walked from.

LAURA: I feel like we should help him or something.

LIAM: Not bad enough to actually do it, though, right?

MARISHA: I have Conjure Woodland Beings in my back pocket today, so I could conjure you a little posse to escort you.

LAURA: That would be good!

LIAM: Have some squirrels, buddy.

MARISHA: Have a little posse.

MATT: What’s the duration on that one?

MARISHA: I don’t know. That’s something else that I haven’t done, ever.

SAM: Untested high-level spell? Do it!

MARISHA: That always works so well.

MATT: It’s an hour of concentration.

TRAVIS: Is this as far as you got, or did you make it up the mountain previously?

MATT: “I was cresting through the base of the mountain, and made it most of the way down the Stormcrest and was heading back through the Frostweald.”

TRAVIS: Oh, you’ve been up there already?

LAURA: You’ve been to the base of the Stormcrest Mountains!

MATT: “I was kind of along the side. We were trying to make our way through the central portion of the mountain pass so we could keep track of the division of topography on both top and bottom.”

TRAVIS: Oh, man. Why you didn’t say so? We could really use your help here.

LAURA: Actually, did you see something similar to this obelisk at the base of the mountain?

MATT: “Uh…” He looks back and thinks to himself. “Not quite like this, though, but there are a number of cavern entrances that litter various portions of the base of the mountain.”

TRAVIS: Did you go in any of them?

MATT: “No, see, I was afraid those would be too dangerous. So I went into the forest.”

TRAVIS: Right.

MATT: “Anyway.”

TRAVIS: Well, look, you don’t really seem to have a lot on you. Why don’t you join us for just a little bit, to the areas that he knows, and then we’ll send you back on your way, maybe with a bit of ale, a little bit of food? Maybe a weapon?

MATT: “That would be fantastic. And… Thank you. I realize now that if you hadn’t come by, I probably would have been there forever.”

LAURA: Yes, well, we’re sorry about the arm, dear.

MATT: “There are worse things. And I can retrain to write with this arm. It’s totally fine.”

SAM: Yes. You’re lucky to be alive, and now you’re going on an adventure with us. Hey, who has two thumbs and is really excited? You and me, both doing this.

MATT: You know what, make a charisma check.

TALIESIN: You worry me.

SAM: Charisma?

MATT: Yeah, add your plus five charisma bonus.

SAM: 20.

MATT: 20? As you do that, he… “Yeah. You’re right! You’re right. I’m thankful to be alive today, and it’s because of you guys.”

LIAM: Technically true.

MATT: “Let’s travel!”

TRAVIS: Well, listen, I’ll walk with you. Lead the way.

MATT: “All right, so where are you going? Because this place was dangerous, and that place is dangerous, and we don’t want to go that way.”

TRAVIS: Yeah, Vex'ahlia will point where we’re headed.

LAURA: Why don’t you want to go that way? Have you seen orcs in this wood?

MATT: He points and says, “There’s a lot of them that way. We came through here to avoid them, and that’s when this all happened.”

LAURA: Ooh. Actually, we should probably take care of the orcs.

TALIESIN: Get the orcs really quick, and then we can send him back with the refugees from there.

MARISHA: We did say we were going to take care of the orcs.

LAURA: Yes, we did.

MARISHA: We did promise that.

LAURA: What do you say, Grog? Would you like to kill some orc?

TRAVIS: Do you always ask questions to which you know the answer already?

LAURA: Would you like to stay here while we fight the orcs, or could you walk us towards them and stay hidden?

MATT: “I don’t want to stay here.”

LAURA: Then you come with us, and then you stay very, very hidden.

MATT: “I can do that. I can definitely do that.”

TALIESIN: When it’s time, he can hide with the bear. Then a bear will be hiding with a mapmaker, or most of a mapmaker.

SAM: We’ll be fine. Let’s go.

MATT: “All right.”

LIAM: While all of that happened, for the last ten minutes, can I stealth away for a little bit?

MATT: Sure. Roll a stealth check.

LIAM: 31.

MATT: Okay. Based on passive perception, nobody notices your exit.

LIAM: I don’t want to go that far, I want to go so I can still hear all this bullshit behind me, and find a quiet spot… I know you can hear me. I’m going to need… I’m going to need more than nightmares. A deal has been struck, and I will honor it. I need to understand what this is. Any time.

MATT: In that moment, the white snow suddenly flashes to dark, and it’s like you were struck blind. You gasp instinctually as your vision goes dark, nothing, and you see come from the shadow, another flash, another vision. It’s of Vasselheim. Another flash. You look out and you can see there’s one large, darkened structure that you have not visited but passed by on the southeastern side of Vasselheim.

TALIESIN: Yeah! Temple! Temple of the Raven Queen.

MATT: The actual name of this, and you’ve heard it in passing before, when you were given your initial pass over of the… I’m trying to find the specific name here so I don’t mess it up. It’s in here somewhere. You see this dark, obsidian structure that is ridged, almost like an even rib cage along each side. It is ominous, and it stuck out in the middle of the city because, amongst the rest of the jovial atmosphere, it loomed over the Amaranthine Oubliette. But this was the central temple to the Raven Queen. You then flash once again, in a long chamber, and you see veils, dark veils passing by, one after another, after another. Another flash forward, and you see a chamber with dark brown, smooth floors. You see gold trim along large pillars that reach up to a dome-type stained glass ceiling of amber colors and white, and in the center of this chamber you see what appears to be a pool of still, crimson liquid. You see the crimson liquid shift, and a form rises up out of it. An arm rises up and beckons a finger. Your vision goes to black, and you’re back in the forest.

LIAM: Fuck. Not exactly what I was talking about. At some point, a little bit of clarification. Congratulations, you’re creepy as fuck. We’ll work it out. I head back to the group.

SAM: Good talk.

MATT: As you guys gather yourselves, your new companion, and start heading in the direction that he ushered you within the Frostweald, towards where supposedly these orcs have holed up and made their camp, you know that the good news is, you probably have the element of surprise in this, but you’re not entirely sure what it is you’re in for when you get there. That’s where I’ll end today’s session.

(groaning)

LAURA: That was a lot of sidetracks on this particular adventure.

MATT: That’s all right. Sidetracks make it fun.

TALIESIN: Nothing wrong with sidetrack.

LIAM: Heebie-jeebies.

LAURA: Oh, man, she’s creepy!

ASHLEY: Creepy as fuck!

LAURA: Creepy as fuck!

SAM: Hey, Pike, good job tonight, lady!

TRAVIS: Hey, Pikey!

SAM: You brought a guy back to life!

LAURA: 19 strength, say what!

SAM: You’re super strong!

ASHLEY: I’m a tank.

TRAVIS: Tank up in this motherfucker.

LIAM: (bang! bang! bang!)

ASHLEY: It feels so good to be back.

MATT: I know. Come back to us soon! Physically!

LAURA: Yes, please!

ASHLEY: Yes, very soon! A few more weeks, a few more weeks.

TRAVIS: She’s coming, she’s coming.

LIAM: We need our Pike.

MATT: All right, guys. We’ll pick this up next Thursday! Thank you for coming and watching us play around, make believe on the Internet.

SAM: Is next week any– It’s not our 50th episode?

LIAM: It’s our 49th!

LAURA: Next week is our 49th, two weeks from now is our 50th.

MATT: 21st is our 50th episode.

SAM: Last time in our 40s.

MARISHA: Got to enjoy it now.

TRAVIS: And don’t miss the 50th.

MATT: Don’t miss the 50th, it’s going to be fun.

LAURA: May be a couple surprises in store.

MATT: We’ll see.

TRAVIS: Nothing. Just us.

MATT: I don’t know where we’ll be in the story, because that’s definitely based on whatever you guys do. But we’ll have some fun things here.

LIAM: Shopping episode.

MATT: Yep. But yeah, thank you guys so much! See you next Thursday. Those of you in Pittsburgh, we’ll see you this weekend. Is it Thursday yet?