Transcript:High Seas, High Stakes

List of Transcripts

Pre-Show
MATT: Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

TRAVIS: (hollering) We play Dungeons & Dragons!

MARISHA: For five years!

MATT: Five years, our five year anniversary, which is insane, it's insane.

SAM: ♪ Insane in the membrane ♪

MATT: Indeed.

OFF-SCREEN: ♪ Insane in the brain ♪

MATT: Yeah, a lot of things are insane now. Right now, today in particular, things are really insane. So I just want to take a moment tell everyone, like, things are crazy right now. We're all doing the best we can with it. Do your research, stay healthy, take care of yourselves, we're doing the same here. Let's make tonight a celebration, that is also a distraction from today's chaos and a moment of respite amongst the rest of our focus.

SAM: (giggling)

LIAM: A time to remember what's important.

MATT: Exactly, exactly. And tonight, we have been streaming this crazy little D&D group for five years, which is-- I can't even fathom considering what this could have been, so thank you for joining us and being a part of this celebration. And let's go ahead and get into some of our announcements for tonight before we can jump into our session. Beginning with our first sponsor of the night, our friends at Griffon's Saddlebag. Sam.

SAM: Tonight's episode is sponsored by our friend and fan of the show, The Griffon's Saddlebag. Maker of illustrated and game-ready magic items that can be applied to any 5e campaign, campaign--

(chuckles)

LAURA: Campaign, campaign.

SAM: The first book, a 200 page compendium containing 365 illustrated magic items, treasure tables, subclasses, settings and villains is available on Kickstarter. Each item, designed, written and balanced with 5e in mind, making them easy and exciting to pick up and implement in any campaign that might need a little upgrade from the standard loot. You can support the effort and check out the exciting Kickstarter rewards and stretch goals like the awesome official Griffon's Saddlebag.

ALL: Whoa.

SAM: You see here.

MATT: Where did that come from?

LAURA: Is this real?

SAM: This is a real Kickstarter reward.

LAURA: This is really cool, that's so cool.

SAM: You can check it out at thegriffonssaddlebag.com. That's G-R-I-F-F-O-N. Your support makes a big difference. Let's see what mine came with.

LAURA: Oh no.

SAM: All right. Oh, I always carry this with me wherever I go. Sure, that's standard. Oh, I was wondering where my change went.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: You're so rich.

LAURA: Is this real money?

SAM: A good year, a good year.

LAURA: No, it's fake.

(laughter)

SAM: And oh, what's this? A song I wrote to commemorate the five year anniversary of our show.

(giggles)

MATT: Oh, boy.

LAURA: Yeah. Cheers.

SAM: It's actually sentimental, it's not stupid.
 * ♪ We gather together, Matt tells us a tale ♪
 * ♪ His monsters to slay and his oceans to sail ♪
 * ♪ Just some good friends rolling dice on Thursday ♪
 * ♪ We don't play to win, but we win when we play ♪
 * ♪ It's been five years of broomsticks to steal ♪
 * ♪ Of goldfish to heal ♪
 * ♪ of Sprinkles to kill ♪
 * ♪ It's been five years of me getting sliced ♪
 * ♪ Don't touch Laura's dice ♪
 * ♪ And hey, do you spice? It's been five ♪

That's it.

(cheering)

MARISHA: Aw, that's great!

SAM: Go check out The Griffon's Saddlebag thing, I threw it away, but The Griffon's Saddlebag's really cool and it smells like leather, get it!

MATT: I've actually been following them on Instagram for a long time, the illustrations are badass.

ASHLEY: Wait, I got to see this.

MATT: It's really cool. I'm a backer of it, you should be, too. They're really good.

TRAVIS: Some graduating class is going to sing that during graduation ceremonies.

LIAM: You've spent five years conditioning us to bullshit.

(laughter)

MATT: Thank you, Sam. That was really sweet and check out The Griffon's Saddlebag.

TALIESIN: That's super fancy.

MATT: Second sponsor for the night, are our friends who have been following us since the beginning of the campaign, D&D Beyond.

TRAVIS: ♪ D&D Beyond ♪

MATT: If you haven't yet checked them out and you haven't heard it, then is this your first time watching the show or just-- What the hell are you doing? Give it a shot. It's an awesome online digital tool for keeping track your campaigns, your characters and everything about fifth edition D&D and beyond. They have a bunch of great tools on there for preparing your campaigns, encounter builders, all kinds of other stuff making custom items, check them out at dndbeyond.link/criticalrole. And on that note, you will be able to get all the stuff from the Wildemount Guide, which comes out next week on D&D Beyond. You can pre-order that now. It will be available next Tuesday. As part of that, too, next Tuesday is the actual release of The Explorer's Guide to Wildemount! (cheering) Super weird to have that coming out finally. Super stoked for you guys to check it out. Me and a bunch of other really talented people worked hard on making this as awesome a book as we possibly can for you. For players, GMs alike. Even if you don't play, it's a lot of fun stuff in there to follow along with the world lore, but hopefully it'll inspire you to write your own campaigns in Wildemount, and throw your friends in the same chaos that I do mine. So it comes out next Tuesday. And if you haven't yet, you can reserve your copy now at your local game store or at the Critical Role shop or Amazon, wherever else books are found online in the Tabletop RPG Space. Next announcement we have, this Monday, March 16th. At 7:00pm Pacific here on our Twitch channel, we will be streaming the Doom One-Shot.

(cheering) (singing intense rock music)

LAURA: This is going to be so awesome!

MATT: Yep, to celebrate the coming release of DOOM Eternal. I have been a fan of the DOOM franchise since way back in, god, it was in middle school for me, like, yeah, early-mid '90s. I've a hard time removing my memories of DOOM II with Nine Inch Nails' Downward Spiral, and Soundgarden. There's certain songs that came out of that era that we listened to while playing DOOM II that to this day, all I can think of is, like, "Knee Deep in the Dead". When I hear "The Day I Tried to Live" and stuff like that so anyway.

ASHLEY: Downward Spiral was on repeat for me.

MATT: Oh god, that album was so good. Anyway, enough about that. This one-shot's going to be amazing. We have some fantastic guests coming to join us as well some players here at the table. We have our own Sam Riegel--

SAM: Oh.

MATT: Laura Bailey--

LAURA: Oh!

MATT: Coming to join for this cast as well is Taliesin Jaffe--

TALIESIN and LAURA: Ooh.

MATT: We have Anjali and Jasmine, two amazing players and friends. It'll be Jasmine's first time with us on stream here in the studio, so excited to have her down here. And Anjali will be joining us here at this table, I believe, for the first time for the game as we had her as part of UnDeadwood before. So I'll be playing a bunch of awesome demons, involved in the assault on earth, as it is hell on earth. And super stoked about it. I'll be GMing it myself and I'm super excited for you guys to check it out. I've been, like, super way too excited for this game. (laughter) It's absurd. I haven't had this much fun with a one-shot in a while. Like, I have fun with them, this one I'm super stoked for. So definitely check it out.

MARISHA: The crew's been busting their ass on it, too, so it's going to look great.

MATT: Everyone's been kicking ass on it. Check it out, the VOD will be available immediately on our Twitch channel, for all of our channel subscribers and on YouTube immediately on Wednesday, March 18th. You can check it out. DOOM Eternal itself lunches next week on Xbox, PS4, PC and Stadia, March 20th, next Friday. Not this coming Friday, but the next. Yeah, check it out. Laura, you have some announcements to make, I think.

LAURA: We have a poster! (laughter) To celebrate our fifth anniversary. We asked our buddy, Hugo Cardenas to illustrate this thing, holy moly.

TRAVIS: Hugo, it's so good.

ALL: Wow.

LAURA: It's big! It's got all of our characters, like, ever. It's got all the guys from the first campaign, the second--

SAM: Oh, the player characters.

LAURA: We got the Darrington Brigade, we got a lot of Matt's characters, too. There's just a whole bunch of people.

LIAM: We've been staring at this thing in the office for weeks; you just get lost in it.

MATT: There's so many little, like, Easter eggs in there, little character--

LIAM: That's it, that's all you get.

LAURA: That's the sneak peak, that's all you get. It's in the US and UK stores right now.

MATT: There it is.

TALIESIN: Hey, that-- okay.

MATT: I think one of my favorite little moments in that is the Bright Queen and King Dwendal both looking up at J'mon Sa Ord in their dragon form, all just like, "Hi." It's a lot of fun little Easter eggs in there.

LAURA: I'll show you, but you have to, like, look at it in person to see that.

TRAVIS: Nice. Good, good, good.

SAM: By the way, we have like, Jesus.

LIAM: (cat yowling and hissing)

SAM: We have, like, I think I counted 17 beverages on the table right now.

TRAVIS: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15--

TALIESIN: And then two--

TRAVIS: 16--

SAM: That hydro flask over there.

TRAVIS: 17.

MATT: What better time to drink yourself into a stupor than during a pandemic?

MARISHA: Kyle, we need more drinks.

(laughter)

MATT: It's like Andromeda Strain, right? If you drink enough alcohol, it can't get into your system.

ASHLEY: Yeah, sure.

MATT: Anyway.

TALIESIN: Why not?

MATT: Much love to you guys, happy five year anniversary to this incredible community. To many years more of supporting each other, of being lights in the dark for each other, for telling stories to inspire each other. And to jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role.

(cheering)

(water bubbling) (thunder rumbling) (explosion) ♪ Role, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Role, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Role, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Role, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Role, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Role, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪ ♪ The adventure begins ♪ ♪ They were always beside you ♪ ♪ Your nerdy best friends ♪ ♪ And the DM to guide you ♪ ♪ And they rise from the flames for the battles ahead ♪ ♪ Villains beware because you're about to be dead ♪ ♪ They got magic and flair ♪ ♪ They got falchions and cunning ♪ ♪ They don't see over there ♪ ♪ There's a monster incoming ♪ ♪ Inspiration is waiting, rise up, don't think twice ♪ ♪ Put your fate in your hands, take a chance, ♪ ♪ roll the dice ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪ ♪ Critical Role (roll the dice) ♪ ♪ Critical Role (roll the dice) ♪ ♪ Ooh, ahh ♪ ♪ Can you answer the call ♪ ♪ Dig in deep in your soul ♪ ♪ As the legend unfolds ♪ ♪ Now it's your turn (your turn, your turn) ♪ ♪ to roll ♪ (flames whooshing)

Part I
MATT: And welcome back. So last we left off: The Mighty Nein had made their way to Nicodranas. They had discovered some secrets in regards to one of their allies, Essek, and his involvement with much of the events that led to the current war between the Kryn dynasty and the Dwendalian Empire. After a deep discussion, you had left business in Nicodranas, gathered your ship and made your way with the armada towards the meeting point. Where a negotiation between these two factions is to take place. After some days at sea, the storm began to brew, dreams were had, invoked by an element of divinity and one's path to embrace who they are. And whatever this path may be, as well as being awoken by a pained nightmare-come-reality, as Fjord found himself under attack by what was immediately obvious to be agents of Uk'otoa.

ALL: (whispered) Uk'otoa.

MATT: Seeking the still-hanging elements of his unveiling and freedom. A battle took place where these various deep sea creatures, these mutated and altered entities here under the will of Uk'otoa, stormed the ship, crawling through its many decks, to assault you as Fjord fought valiantly to keep them at bay, and you manage to come and support him in dire need. During the final moments of this climactic battle in the midst of the rolling seas, the flashing lightning, curling thunder and the waves of rain battering down upon the deck, both Orly, the bard tortle, and your friend and companion, Fjord, lay slain before you dealt the final blow to the assailants. And that is where we left off. Mighty Nein, as you gather here on the wet decks of this ship, still rolling with the ocean as the storm batters onward, you look down upon the scattered bits of blood and your unmoving allies.

LAURA: Caduceus, Caduceus!

TALIESIN: I'm going to walk over and--

LAURA: I'm going to run over.

TALIESIN: Quickly--

SAM: Caduceus, why are you walking?

LAURA: Come on, Caduceus!

TALIESIN: Going to quickly cast Gentle Repose really quickly.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: On-- which should give us a second.

SAM: What's that do?

MARISHA: What are you doing?

TALIESIN: Gentle Repose means that the time limit is extended.

LAURA: On both of them or who?

TALIESIN: I'm going to do both of them really quickly.

MARISHA: How do you mean?

SAM: Time limit?

TALIESIN: So that's--

MATT: "The target is protected from decay and can't become undead." It also extends the time limit on raising the target from the dead since days spent under the influence--

LAURA: Why not just cast Revivify?!

TALIESIN: Quickly detecting magic. Do I see anything inside Fjord?

SAM: It's two rounds.

MATT: You do not see anything.

TALIESIN: That's a bonus action.

MATT: I will say that the purposes of this, there is nothing emanating an aura.

TALIESIN: And then taking the diamond and pushing Revivify as quickly as possible.

MATT: Okay. So I've rolled this privately in the past, because I misremember my own rules. So I'm going to have you, which is part of the intended design to go ahead and roll a d20 for me and add your spell casting modifier.

LAURA: I'm going to be holding onto Fjord's hand.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Does anybody else want to do anything in the time it took me to do that little thing?

LAURA: I'm going to reach over and try to cast the same thing on Orly because I don't know how much time I have on Orly.

MATT: So you have a diamond as well?

LAURA: Yes, I've just got a 300 gold.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Where is my spell casting--?

MATT: It's your wisdom modifier.

TALIESIN: Oh, wisdom modifier?

LIAM: Last episode was land by Fjord, so I guess I'm sitting him up towards Jester.

MARISHA: And I'll take his other hand.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Just hold onto him. Come on, Caduceus.

TALIESIN: Don't suck, come on, don't hit it. Okay, that's 11.

MATT: That's an 11.

MARISHA: With your modifier?

LAURA: Why would, why would?

MATT: Okay. Because Fjord had not previously died, that leaves the DC at a certain number. So as you focus and pushing the diamond down towards where the most gaping wound is. You watch as it slowly turns to dust within the wound and become a congealed, like gray material into the exposed blood. There's a moment of pause before the divine energy you channel through the Wildmother creates a mess of vines that begin to grow from the wound and wrap around his torso. As the vines begin to condense and create a small nest or a cocoon above where the wound is, you watch as they turn bright green, then turn brown and die. And wither, the leaves of the vines immediately crumbling and decaying to dust. As they do, leaving the wound, partially healed and you pause for a moment and you hear the breath begin to come back into the lungs.

TALIESIN: Cure Wounds level three.

LAURA: Thank god.

MATT: Go ahead and roll for that.

LAURA: I reached and I kiss Fjord on the forehead and I immediately spin around and cast Revivify on Orly.

MATT: Okay, you may join the table again.

TRAVIS: Some ups and downs in that description.

TALIESIN: Is he technically unconscious?

MATT: Revivify?

LAURA: No, he comes back to one hit point--

MATT: One hit point, so he is conscious.

TALIESIN: Okay, nevermind then. All right, I'll tell you how many hit points you have in a second.

MATT: But the DC has increased for the next time, too.

TALIESIN: 23. So you're at 24 hit points.

TRAVIS: 24?

LAURA: Do I need to roll for Orly?

MATT: You do. So in that moment you reach over, holding on and wishing for the aid of The Traveler, and you all-- now that you've seen him for a brief moment, you can see as Jester, her small, diminutive form on this massive deck of the ship, the storm battering around her, putting her hands on this large, shelled, unmoving, still creature. You see the green cloak momentarily engulf her before it vanishes when you blink. Not sure if it was there even to begin with. And what did you roll?

LAURA: 19.

MATT: 19? There's a moment of stillness before the chest inhales and the body begins to stern, as it does it leans into one of the bagpipes and you hear this. (discordant bagpipe notes) Before a hand "(grumbling). Well. Hmm. M-m-mighty sore."

LAURA: I'll cast third level-- oh wait. (giggling) No, I won't heal you because I don't have, I'm going to Healing Word you, no.

SAM: Because you didn't.

LAURA: Because I that prepared.

SAM: Because you didn't--

LAURA: Shut up.

SAM: You didn't prepare the Cure Wounds spell.

TALIESIN: I'm starting to Prayer of Healing, so in 10 minutes, the six most hurt people on deck are going to get a boost.

LAURA: Okay, well I'll still Healing Word him. Because why not? At 2nd-level.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: In 10 minutes, the six most hurt people get 21 hit points.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: 11 points of healing to Orly.

MATT: That's decent.

LIAM: Still propping Fjord up with both. Just breathe. Breathe slow.

LAURA: I spin back around to Fjord.

MARISHA: You all right? I mean aside from no?

TRAVIS: Yeah, no, I'm fine. Thank you. Are they all gone?

LAURA: I think so. Yeah, they were really, really hacking you up.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it feels pretty shitty inside of my chest right now. Not going to lie.

MARISHA: I think your lung is still punctured.

TRAVIS: Really?

MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Oh god. Like, you can see it?

MARISHA: You can see a little bit of a puncture wound.

TRAVIS: Just push it back in.

MARISHA: Okay, ready, one, two, three.

TRAVIS: Don't touch it, don't touch!

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: Did you feel the stone?

TRAVIS: The what?

LAURA: The what?

TALIESIN: The stone. I can't talk right now.

TRAVIS: Oh, the orb?

SAM: The ball.

LIAM: What else are they here for?

TRAVIS: It has to be that, I didn't know I still had it. I can't feel it now. I don't I don't know where it is. I thought it was in the sword, I thought it was-- MATT: You hear this strange guttural impact, a resonance that sounds familiar to you. It's the arrival of a Dimension Door spell.

SAM and LAURA: Oh.

MATT: Immediately you hear a brief incantation beneath someone's breath a little ways away, the storm swirling entirely, but Caduceus, you're in the middle of chanting and it picks up. I need Beauregard, Caleb, Veth. Yeah, I need all six of you to roll wisdom saving throws.

MARISHA: Son of a bitch.

MATT: All but Fjord.

LAURA: And me too?

MATT: Yep.

TRAVIS: Can I make a reaction?

MARISHA: Oh god, natural one.

MATT: What kind of reaction are you making?

SAM: That's a natural one.

TRAVIS: Cast a spell.

MATT: Is it a reaction spell?

TRAVIS: No.

MATT: Then no, you can not.

TRAVIS: Okay.

TALIESIN: Wisdom saving spell?

MATT: Saving throw, yeah.

ASHLEY: Two.

MATT: Hmm!

TALIESIN: 25.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: 11.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Natural one.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Natural one.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: 22.

MATT: All right. Caduceus and Caleb, you feel this influence try and climb within your body and you manage to shove it away, while Beauregard, Veth--

MARISHA: I'm so sorry.

MATT: -- Jester, and Yasha. Your bodies immediately lock up, and you find yourself unable to move, your muscles frozen in space by some of arcane influence.

LIAM: Do I see anyone from the Cerberus zooming in on the boat?

MATT: You turn around and on the deck you see, freshly arrived, a half-elven woman, with short, brown hair standing there, long robes flowing in the wind, hand out.

LIAM: Ja, hello, identify yourself, please.

MATT: "(French accent) I would like you to identify yourself first. Get away from the wounded one."

LIAM: We are The Mighty Nein, he's one of us.

TALIESIN: Just had a lot happen here in a very short amount of time.

MATT: "Very well." The paralysis fades.

SAM and LAURA: (exhaling)

MATT: You can hear now other bells are ringing and you can see, off in the distance, other ships that have slowly began making their way in your direction.

TRAVIS: Oh, I was wondering if anyone noticed. Oh, fuck.

MATT: "My apologies, I am "just taking the necessary precautions."

LIAM: Is she dressed like a volstrucker?

MATT: No. Very fine robes. You've seen her once before from a distance in Felderwin.

LIAM: Oh.

MATT: This is Lady Vess DeRogna.

MARISHA: Oh, shit.

MATT: The Archmage of Antiquity. "Well, I assume then, based on your confusion at my arrival that you are not responsible for the wounded on this deck? Please tell me immediately what has transpired in the past minute?"

LIAM: The boat came under attack.

TRAVIS: Yes, please keep telling the story. I'm going to cast Cure Wounds on myself at 5th-level, if you don't mind.

TALIESIN: Anyone have Minor Illusion or something?

LAURA: No.

TRAVIS: 5d8 plus--

LIAM: Some sort of creatures out of the sea swarmed the ship.

TALIESIN: Did any of the swords ping when I cast Detect Magic?

MATT: No.

LAURA: Can we just describe to her what that people looked like? The (hissing).

SAM: Oh, okay. Sure, I'll cast Silent Image and make an image of what one of them look like.

MATT: You do find the sword that the leader of them seem to be holding. It is currently just a regular weapon. It has lost any sort of visual representation of the Sword of Fathoms that it used to have.

LAURA: Could we, during the fight did any of us notice-- I mean- obviously Caduceus did, but did we notice that they look like swords old Fjord-- Fjord's old sword?

TALIESIN: Fjord's old sword?

MATT: I would say Beauregard would have noticed, probably. The people that were fought most of the time on the deck, Caleb as well, actually, you would have noticed. Because you guys were closest and with the most immediate visible range until the very end. Jester, your passive perception isn't bad. I'd say you probably noticed it, too, before the the moment where Yasha ended up snapping its neck and throwing the corpse overboard. The corpse is still hanging on the edge of the boat, by the way.

LAURA: Oh, well there, that's what they look like right there.

ASHLEY: I'll pull it back up.

TRAVIS: 38 points of healing from the Cure Wounds.

MATT: Not bad for a new paladin.

LIAM: Did you say she was all alone, or with other people?

MATT: Alone currently.

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: You should learn it, that's useful.

SAM: I will.

MATT: "So these creatures you point out responsible for this attack. Could you please tell me if you have any inclination as to why?"

SAM: Seemed random, random attack. This is a fearsome vessel that we command--

LAURA: Yeah, that's true. I mean, we were, you know--

SAM: Pirates.

LAURA: -- pretty famous pirates on the sea so maybe that they just recognized our flag and--

MARISHA: I have a feeling it has something to do with the location that we're at currently in the ocean, as well. We might be over their domain.

MATT: I will say, go ahead and make a deception check, Veth, with advantage because they did help you.

SAM: Oh, natural 20. Minus two.

(laughter)

MATT: Vess gives you a look and goes, "Very well. These are dangerous waters, the closer we get to the reef itself. We were prepared for such a thing. Well, I'm glad that you apparently are safe. The Mighty Nein, correct?"

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: Yes.

LAURA: Oui!

MATT: "I have been made aware of who you are. The Martinet speaks highly of the aid that you provided back in Rexxentrum."

LIAM: Are you traveling with the Martinet or are you on your own ship here?

MATT: "I am traveling where I please, but I'm here on the same mission. But nevertheless, we appreciate your contributions to ending this conflict. This is unfortunate that you have been pulled into whatever entities wish to see it not come to fruition, but glad you're all safe." At which point, Orly limps up behind and goes, "We appreciate your appreciation." (thudding footsteps) She's like-- "Anyway, I'll leave you to your recovery. If you require anything, if any of you have the means of reaching out, I'm not far. And when all of this is over, if you're looking for work, there maybe some possibilities in the north, should we work together."

LIAM: I drop into Zemnian. (American accent) We greatly appreciate your aid out here. And it's nice to know that we can count on each other in this difficult moment.

MATT: She leans in and responds in Zemnian, (American accent) "Of course. And it's this forthrightness that lets us know who our friends are in times of confused politics."

LIAM: Good way of putting it.

MATT: "Hmm."

LIAM: But we all want an end to pain and suffering as much as is possible.

MATT: "As much as possible. (original accent) But anyway, hopefully there's still time to get some sleep. And myself, I'm a bit frustrated that the storm made it difficult enough to bed down and I'm a bit winded.

LIAM: Hopefully we can talk about the north on a different day.

MATT: "(American accent) There's plenty of time on the sea. You'll know how to find me, I'm sure."

LIAM: Very much so.

MATT: "(original accent) Sleep well. Gute nacht." And then the Dimension Doors away. The other ships ding, ding, ding, other bells start going off.

MARISHA: Fucking bitch.

SAM: She seems nice.

LAURA: Were you hitting on her? Were you hitting on her?

LIAM: (original accent) Do you think that would have been useful?

LAURA: It could've been, I'm not sure. It's like you were talking to her and of a sudden she starts talking about bedding down.

TALIESIN: Let's take a look at this.

ASHLEY: The body I was holding, is still. I'm going to put this back in the side.

TALIESIN: No, no, I needed that.

SAM: Fjord, do you recognize these creatures?

TRAVIS: I don't think so. Do I recognize these creatures?

MATT: Here's the odd thing. In the brief moments that it's been dead, like when you've noticed is this very humanoid creature with, like, a dull gray, blue skin, these yellowish eyes, very reminiscent of the entity of which you were once bound to. As opposed to hair, it has these long, rubbery tendrils that emerge from the back of its head that are long, like it has a set of thick tentacles that protrude from the back of the head. Its jaw seems to open on both sides, there's a smaller mouth surrounded in teeth and whereas these additional sides open up as part of its screech, claws, fin-like protrusions from the forearms and the knees. But as you guys are inspecting it, its form begins to slowly shift and change into that of a 40 something, scruffy-chinned, slightly balding man, a fisherman.

LAURA: What the heck.

SAM: Do you recognize that dude?

TRAVIS: What?

LIAM: What happens to the jaw? Does it remain in pieces? Or does it--

MATT: No, it reverts and seals back to a normal human--

LAURA: Whoa. Fjord, do you know this guy?

TRAVIS: I don't think so.

MATT: No sense of recognition.

LAURA: Oh my gosh, if you would have kept doing--

MARISHA: Yeah, would you look like that? Yeah!

SAM: If you had kept--

LAURA: You'd turn into--

MARISHA: To tentacle man?!

TRAVIS: I don't know, I can't imagine that's a reward. But it might be.

ASHLEY: Do you think he has one of those things in his chest?

LIAM: Caleb starts inspecting the body and feeling for a seam in the jaw just to work on the cadaver.

MATT: There are two other bodies of a similar type creature on board, though not quite as prominent in, it seems, the hierarchy upon their arrival. They, too, have reverted to a normal form, one of which appears to be elven. One, looks to be, a, best you could say is a goliath, in a half giant body. The elf being female, and they're both, they're a little gaunt, little sallow.

TRAVIS: Female goliath?

MATT: No, female elf and a male goliath. The gender was difficult to discern in the creature form in which you battled them.

TALIESIN: Beau, do you want to search through the pockets? See if there's--

MARISHA: Yeah, you have a knife? Who's got a knife?

SAM: I got a knife.

LAURA: I got an axe. Do you want--

SAM: Here's an old rusty dagger.

LAURA: Should we open them up and see if there's, like, orbs inside?

LIAM: I was-- We're all on the same page.

TALIESIN: Keep the heads--

LAURA: I'm going to help; I'm really good at this stuff.

MARISHA: All right.

MATT: What are you doing?

LAURA: Yeah, I'm going to search for, like, a worm in the body.

MATT: Okay, roll medicine check.

SAM: You want a blade, or you going to use your axe?

LAURA: Well, you got a blade there.

MARISHA: I'll fillet back the skin a bit and hold it kind of--

LAURA: I mean, I've only--

TRAVIS: I thought you said you're really good at this?

LAURA: I am, but this is really gross every time. (vomiting)

LIAM: Just grab it like a book and open it real fast.

MARISHA: I already opened it for her. Just got to really--

LAURA: Okay, okay, I'm just going to-- I'm just going to reach it up and look for a hard orb or something. Ooh my god, oh my god, oh my god.

MARISHA: Yeah, what do you got? Anything?

LAURA: Let me check.

MATT: Make a medicine check.

TRAVIS: Describe the spell.

LAURA: Do I get advantage because everyone is helping me?

TALIESIN: I'm giving you a d4.

MARISHA: Does she get advantage because I'm there, like, helping you know, pry back ribs and sternum and shit?

MATT: Sure.

MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: Is that triple advantage?

TRAVIS: Sure, sure.

LAURA: Oh, I'm just rolling the four the same time. 25.

MATT: 25. First, as it opens and you dig in, it's a unique smell, in the sense that the interior of a human body has a not pleasant scent.

LAURA: This is really fucked up.

MATT: But this is briny. All the organs seem in order for a human body. Though everything has a slightly dull grayish blue tint similar to the coloration of the skin of the creature's form that you first encountered.

LAURA: Does that mean they've been dead for a long time something?

MATT: Or there's some sort of transition that has happened that has left their organs just miscolored and the scent adjusted accordingly. After spending a few moments giving a thorough, jolly search--

TRAVIS: Great forearm pocket.

MATT: -- does not seem to be anything else in there that wasn't originally intended.

(laughter)

LIAM: Aliens 3.

SAM: Maybe you should check the other two, just in case.

LAURA: No.

TALIESIN: No, I don't.

LAURA: It's just organs, I have a feeling Fjord would not have turned into one of these things. I feel like they were, like, a servant in a different way. Do you know what they mean? MARISHA: Maybe Fjord could have controlled them if he were to kept going.

ASHLEY: The thing is if, they were probably trying to get it out of you. So maybe they, none of them have one.

MARISHA: But it was the big guy. They were like the bigger guys who definitely seemed to be calling the shots and running the show.

TALIESIN: We have one of the big, we have the big one here.

MATT: Which one?

TALIESIN: The main one.

LAURA: That is what, I was just, I was just, yeah.

LIAM: It might be a little presumptuous of us to try to understand the hierarchy of Uk'otoa's minions.

TRAVIS: We had falchions. We had the same sort of curved blade that I didn't see an eye or orb in the sword though, right?

MATT: No, it was just a similar shape, same barnacled growths on them similar perpetually wet, oceanic essence to it.

TRAVIS: I've spent enough time with it and it was the same sword.

MARISHA: Even the swords have reverted back.

LAURA: Should we search for an orb in you, Fjord? I mean, not like that, but should we? Do you have one inside of you still?

TRAVIS: All evidence seems to suggest yes.

LAURA: How do we get it out?

TRAVIS: I don't, I don't know!

SAM: How did you get it in?

TRAVIS: I...

MARISHA: Do we have to go back to that temple? Do you have to give it back?

LAURA: Oh my gosh.

TALIESIN: I don't know if you can.

LAURA: What if-- no.

TRAVIS: I mean (mumbling).

LAURA: What if, what if we blink into the Ethereal Plane? Do you think we would see it in the Ethereal Plane?

TRAVIS: What do you mean, like, in me or outside of me?

TALIESIN: I mean, you would have, probably-- I don't know.

MARISHA: It's true, I've seen something with True Sight. Do I remember back to the party if I saw something in Fjord with True Sight?

MATT: Not in that instance, no.

TRAVIS: I had a dream where I'm ingested a sword. I could try and throw up? There was another one where I just, I pushed it into my chest.

LAURA: You have two orbs in you still?!

TRAVIS: No, no, I'm just saying I consumed--

LAURA: Do you have two orbs in you?

TRAVIS: No, no I only have--

LAURA: How do you know?

TRAVIS: Because I opened the key to one of the locks of Uk'otoa with the sword.

SAM: How did you get it open? Did you pull it out?

TRAVIS: There were two eyes in the sword, that I placed it down into the ground but I had to use the pommel of the sword--

MATT: There are two that you've placed actually.

TRAVIS: Two that I've--

LAURA: So you have two orbs inside of you! You have two orbs inside of you!

MATT: No, you've placed two orbs, there was a one at Urukayxl.

TRAVIS: Avantika placed one. I placed one from the pommel.

MATT: Correct, sorry, there were two that have been placed, yes.

MARISHA: Yeah, because the third one unleashes the gates, right?

TRAVIS: Right, I was holding the last key.

SAM: Does your sword, falchion whatever right now have an eye on it?

TRAVIS: It did when I threw it in the pool of magma.

MARISHA: Wait.

SAM: But your current sword does not.

TRAVIS: (whooshing) No eye! Right, no eye, no eye, no eye, no eye?

MATT: No eye.

MARISHA: Can you try and make it a thing? Can you try and make it have an eyeball?

TALIESIN: I don't--

LAURA: Why would you do that? That's the Wildmother's sword.

TALIESIN: -- think that's how that works.

TRAVIS: If we get it then we just toss that bitch in the ocean and keep going, it'd be fun. Make me an eye.

LAURA: No, Fjord.

MATT: Nothing happens.

TRAVIS: No, it doesn't work.

SAM: But how do you get this orb out of you?

MARISHA: It seems like--

SAM: Should we slice him open?

LIAM: Jester, you've been able to find things. Would you be able to--

LAURA: Like locate an object? I mean, I could if I--

SAM: Have you seen?

LAURA: If I sleep on it, you know what I mean? I got to sleep on. I got to think about that.

LIAM: I feel you.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Beau, Yasha. You can, like, divine aspects or whatever. If I lift my arms can you, like, push around in my guts and my rib cage to see if there's any-- Like feel if there's a tangerine in that bitch.

MARISHA: Can I try and basically, like, hit some pressure points.

TALIESIN: If we're doing this, I cast Locate Object level three--

LAURA: Oh, you have it already fucking prepared? Well, good for you!

MATT: Okay. And you are?

TALIESIN: Trying to find the the orb.

MATT: Okay, you can sense that there is something of the essence that you're seeking for within Fjord's body. Though--

TALIESIN: It doesn't feel like an orb, does it?

MATT: I mean, it resembles an orb, but it's-- it's there, that's as much as you can make out--

LAURA: It's not, like, "Ooh it's definitely in the thigh."

MATT: Right.

TRAVIS: When that thing was in my chest before I decided to take, you know, just a quick repose. Was he, like, doing the same thing that we were just doing? Was he trying to grab something out of my chest or?

LAURA: He was, like, hacking--

ASHLEY: He was hacking into your chest with a sword.

MARISHA: Felt very centralized.

TRAVIS: So it's not me that he wanted; he wanted something out of me.

LAURA: I don't know, he also was trying to pull you down into the ocean so--

SAM: They really wanted to kill you.

TRAVIS: Wait, they were trying to take me off the boat?

MARISHA: I think he was trying to take you off the boat. After they knew that most of the team had been compromised.

LIAM: Yeah, we weren't giving him time to do his work, and so he needed to leave with your corpse.

LAURA: Or they just really--

TALIESIN: Or they had to take you somewhere dead or alive.

MARISHA: He seemed very much like he knew what he was doing and what he was going for in his chest. I think he ran--

TRAVIS: So maybe if I die, something happens.

TALIESIN: Or maybe it doesn't matter.

ASHLEY: So you, you had a dream that you swallowed this orb and the orb is there?

LAURA: Open your mouth.

TRAVIS: Yes. Ahhh.

LAURA: Do I see anything in his throat?

MATT: Make a perception check.

SAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: Are his tonsil swollen?

TRAVIS: Strep.

(chuckling)

LAURA: 20, what is it, 24.

MATT: 24?

LAURA: No, did I add that right? Yeah, no, 22.

MATT: 22, okay. Mild discoloration around the tonsils.

TRAVIS: I am--! (laughter) I gargle with sea water every night!

TALIESIN: Throw him overboard.

MATT: Actually fairly healthy, but no orb.

LAURA: Don't see anything--

SAM: You've got mono.

LAURA: I don't see anything.

MARISHA: Well look, I mean, you had wet dreams for months about trying to--

TRAVIS: Not quite as that makes that it sound.

MARISHA: Get Uk'otoa free.

ALL: (whispering) Uk'otoa.

MARISHA: We know very clearly what Uk'otoa's mission is and I'm assuming--

SAM and LIAM: (whispering) Uk'otoa.

LAURA: Maybe it's bad, maybe it's like Beetlejuice, if you say his name three times in a row, it's really bad then they'll show up on the boat.

LIAM: What is Beetlejuice?

LAURA: The ship. You know, like Candy Man.

TRAVIS: Is that a drink?

TALIESIN: It's not helpful. I don't know what Candy.

LIAM: Is that the Traveler?

MARISHA: Like the Blair Witch.

LIAM: What is Blair Witch?

(laughter)

TRAVIS: I don't know how to get this out, but I think it's fair to assume. How is the ship, by the way?

LAURA: Not too bad.

SAM: Below decks is a little tored up.

TRAVIS: A little to'ed up from the flo' up?

MATT: Gallan at this point arrives the deck and goes like, "Whoa! Everything okay?"

TALIESIN: I mean--

TRAVIS: Yeah, just fine, you know. Spilled a bit of wine.

MATT: "Should I start getting the repairs?"

LAURA, MARISHA, and SAM: Yes.

MATT: "Okay."

SAM: Start with the cannons.

LAURA: You know what? Oh, I have an idea. What if I send a message to Essek?

SAM: To say what?

LAURA: To say come over here and help us get this orb out of Fjord.

TALIESIN: I think that would be-- let's wait.

LAURA: Why?

TALIESIN: Just there's too much happening all at once. This feels like so many moving parts.

LIAM: I think my only question. Not my only question. One of many questions is, were these creatures that came for you, was one of them or all of them, actors or operators like you yourself were at one time or like Avantika was? Or are they just sent by, you know?

TRAVIS: I don't recognize the goliath or the female elf, correct?

MATT: No, upon inspecting their corpses, these are all just--

TRAVIS: My question is, and I don't know if there's an answer to this. Is there a way to determine if a body is cursed? After death or during life? I just don't--

MARISHA: You want me to try the pressure points thing?

LAURA: Greater restoration cures curses.

TALIESIN: Well, yeah, I don't know if it detects curses. Detect Good and Evil, maybe?

LAURA: Detect Good and Evil. I don't think I have it prepared.

TALIESIN: No, I don't have that prepared. Well maybe I do. No, I don't.

MARISHA: You know it's a service that I offer.

TALIESIN: I've burned every spell I have at this point.

SAM: I'm going to go investigate just the other dead bodies. There is some down below deck, right?

MATT: Mm-hmm.

SAM: I'll just go around and collect stuff.

LAURA: I'm going to feel Fjord's chest.

TRAVIS: It's such an extreme transformation.

LAURA: And, like, this area.

SAM: The abs area or the pecs end?

LAURA: No, like, that abs you know, like the solar plexus.

MATT: Sternum?

SAM: Maybe you should get all up and down.

LAURA: I'm really going to really, like, tickle him. You know what I mean? I need to feel to see if I can feel anything. Do you mind, is this okay? I just, I want to see if I feel an orb.

TRAVIS: I was just dead. So have at it.

LAURA: No, I mean, if this is uncomfortable for you, let me know.

TRAVIS: I'm actually enjoying it, it's fine.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Roll a medicine check.

LIAM: Bing!

TRAVIS: Yeah! (gagging)

LAURA: 18.

MATT: 18.

LAURA: I didn't get a Guidance-- Guidance! Too late.

MATT: It seems sound, you don't feel any odd...

LAURA: Hardness?

MATT: Hardness. The other bodies that are around the sea spawn in particular. The lesser, strange, aquatic fish, mutated creatures did not. Yeah, they did not revert to their form they are still their mutated, torn asunder selves based on their various means of being destroyed. Only the three elevated entities that you battled, the ones that returned to some of natural humanoid body.

TRAVIS: Can't you speak with dead things?

TALIESIN: I can, tomorrow.

TRAVIS: Okay. We should try to, if we can. It might provide some answers. Until then?

TALIESIN: Think about what you want to know.

TRAVIS: Well, I'm also a bit of a homing beacon. I was sleeping in the captain's quarters like a dingle... bubarfed.

LAURA: You know what, we should all-- we should all sleep in the captain's quarters.

TALIESIN: Together?

MARISHA: Maybe you can string us up a little alarm, Caleb?

LIAM: I think that we maybe need to follow on old practices, even though we're on the ship.

TRAVIS: If I could add to the protocol, perhaps, Caleb, about what time is it today?

LIAM: Oh, it's exactly--

MATT: (laughs) I'd say, at this point, it's around 2:30 in the morning.

TRAVIS: Could you remind me? Oh god. At 2:30 in the morning every day, and I'll cast Underwater Breathing just on everyone, just in case they don't just come for me or us.

LAURA: We should do it at, like, 2:00am.

LIAM: How long does that last about?

TRAVIS: 24 hours.

SAM: What about bed time every night?

TALIESIN: Do it right before you go to bed.

TRAVIS: 24 hours.

TALIESIN: Right before bed?

TRAVIS: Just in case they blow up the ship and then we're all in the water.

LAURA: Or Uk'otoa comes up and, like, tentacles around the whole ship and, like, cracks it in half and then brings it down into the ocean.

TRAVIS: Nope. It hasn't been released yet, I don't think that's very--

TALIESIN: The fact that you're walking around means that's not going to happen.

TRAVIS: I mean, I don't think he's been released yet. I actually don't know. I just assumed with the sword being thrown in and the last key and the sword were destroyed, but--

LAURA: Well, obviously not.

TRAVIS: Fucking clearly.

TALIESIN: I think they need you to release him.

LIAM: Seems like a rumor that would spread pretty easily. If you were released.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: Uk'otoa's going to get what he wants whether you help them or not.

TALIESIN: Well, I don't know.

MARISHA: Is it worth taking a swim? Seeing what we're parked on top of.

LIAM: In the pouring rain? At 2:30 in the morning?

MARISHA: I don't know.

TRAVIS: It's also really cold.

MATT: The two other ships have now closed in the check and other bells are ringing and Orly is interfacing with them, letting them know that things are-- the danger has passed and a bit of shouting back and forth from ship to ship. You know, "Do you need aid?"

TRAVIS: Nearing the Inkclaw Reef, right?

MATT: You guys are just north of Inkclaw Reef. You have about, I'd say, with the weather as it is right now, between six and seven days if the storm continues. It might be less if it lights up.

TRAVIS: I think the temple is inland. It's not out here, the last one.

MATT: You believe, based on the visions you had, that it was north of Nicodranas.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Like just west and south of the gate entrance--

MATT: Yeah, the Wuyun Gorge, yeah.

LAURA: I just mean we're near the other temple, the one that you already opened.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: You are, you are just north of Urukayxl.

LIAM: Sometimes, the two of you--

TRAVIS: I thought it was out here.

MATT: No, no, the first one you went to, which is to the lower right of the map.

LIAM: Inkling of things that we cannot understand.

LAURA: Commune.

TALIESIN: That may be a thing to do tomorrow as well.

LAURA: Yeah, I will. I can commune tonight, I can ask the Traveler if he knows anything, or if he can sense the orb in Fjord.

SAM: We know the orb's in Fjord.

LAURA: Yeah, but if you could, like, find out where it is or, like, if he knows how to get it out, if he's heard about anything like this. I going to sit down, I'm going to Commune. I'm going to set up 10 minutes and I'm going to set up a ritual.

TRAVIS: Actually could we join you and just see if the Wildmother might have anything to say about his orb? Maybe just to meditate.

LAURA: Do you have Commune?

LIAM: Caduceus has fought very hard for you when you are down. I don't know if he's feeling up to it.

TALIESIN: I'll give it a try, but I don't promise anything. I'm a little little burnt.

MATT: Have you spent you this time focusing on casting the healing spell by the way?

TALIESIN: I thought I got interrupted by it. I assumed that, that paralyze will power roll just completely blew that.

MATT: You succeeded.

TALIESIN: Oh, did I succeed?

MATT: Yeah, you succeeded so you manage to continue it.

TALIESIN: Oh, yeah. Extra 21 hit points, then to, you, you, you, and then anybody else one, two, three, four. And then two crew members.

LIAM: I'm at full, if anyone needs some more healing.

LAURA: Orly could probably use it.

TALIESIN: Yeah, Orly--

MATT: Orly will take that happily.

TALIESIN: So that worked. I thought I'd blown that.

LAURA: Oh my gosh.

TALIESIN: I'm going to use my my percentile dice to try and cast Commune if that makes sense.

MATT: Oh, so you're using your Divine Intervention to commune with the Wildmother? Okay, give it a shot.

LAURA: I'm going to set up all my little statues that we've spent all this time making. I'm going to have so many little teeny Traveler dicks sitting around me.

MATT: Perfect.

LAURA: Ooh, Caleb! Will you cast pretty lights or something? So that it makes it extra special pretty?

TRAVIS: Yes, cast Widogast's Pretty Lights.

LIAM: I cast Widogast's Pretty Lights. They are green, they are glowing a pale green and floating around Jester's head.

TRAVIS: That's really pretty.

MARISHA: Widogast's Hues.

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: This is pretty great! Now that I know that you're not actually a goddy-god god, I can just, like, talk you right now like I would normally talk to you. So hey, can you call me here really fast? Because I've got some major questions I need to ask you and we need your help.

MATT: The dried and rotted bits of vine and leaf that originally congealed around Fjord's wound begin to blow with the wind. (air whooshing) As they blow, they seem to scatter wider and create more in their space. As the swirl passes your vision, it seems to wipe into the cloaked figure that's so familiar to you as Artagan steps forward and goes, "Hello my dear."

LAURA: Hi.

MATT: "You have some questions?"

LAURA: Oh my gosh, did you-- I'm not going to ask you that. We just had a crazy fight.

MATT: "(laughter) You're learning. Proud of you.

LAURA: So Fjord has a thing like, a ball, an orb, an eyeball stuck inside of his body.

MATT: "Mm-hmm."

LAURA: And these dudes are, like, coming after him for it. They're like we really want to let Uk'otoa (Uk'otoa) out.

MATT: "No!"

LAURA: And I was wondering--

MATT: "Mm-hmm."

LAURA: If you know how to get the orb out of him?

MATT: The questions--

LAURA: (laughs) Okay, okay.

MATT: Hold on, hold on. No, no, you asked your question. The answer is, "I believe I have an inkling, yes."

LAURA: Aw! Come on, man!

MATT: "Not my rules."

SAM: Is that the only question you get?

LAURA: No, I get two more.

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: Okay, okay. I got to think of how I'm going to phrase this.

TRAVIS: Does it involve me dying?

MARISHA: (laughs) Yeah.

LAURA: Do we have to, like, cut him open to get it out?

MATT: "I... wouldn't recommend it."

LAURA: Okay, okay, that's good to know.

TRAVIS: I like him more.

MARISHA: (laughs)

LIAM: Let's not be hasty.

LAURA: Is it something that's within my skill set, now?

MATT: "I think you are quite capable, Jester."

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: (whooshing) And vanishes into in to the air.

MARISHA: Magic eight ball bullshit.

LAURA: He's so, so smart. Okay, so something that I can do.

LIAM: You have removed types of curses before, have you not?

LAURA: I mean, yeah, Greater Restoration, but does that remove a ball from somebody?

SAM: You know a lot of spells.

MATT: I will say, you guys expended a hell of a lot of Greater Restoration diamonds when you were at the Clay family. More than you had technically had at the ready.

TALIESIN: That's true.

MATT: So unless you guys have picked up specifically?

TALIESIN: No, I don't think so.

MATT: Beyond the diamonds that you just used on Revivify, you do not have Greater Restoration--

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: -- capabilities.

LIAM: What do you need for it?

LAURA: I need diamond dust, at least 100 gold's worth.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LAURA: I have a diamond--

TALIESIN: Yeah, but we--

LAURA: -- but I shouldn't use it, no.

SAM: I have gold dust.

LAURA: I don't need that, I need diamond dust. Orly!

MATT: You see him interfacing with the second of the ships that's now currently turning back and slowly making its way towards its position in the armada formation. Turns back, "Mm-hmm?"

LAURA: Orly, do you have any diamond dust on you because I know you do your enchanted tattoos and stuff. Did anybody--

MATT: "Well, my skill set definitely allows m-m-me to work with it, but my customers have to provide the components. You understand?"

LAURA: Yeah, of course, of course, of course.

MATT: "Yeah."

TRAVIS: There's no way that being stabbed by one of those swords is like a slowly growing disease, is it?

SAM: Sure, I mean, everything is possible--

TRAVIS: I might slowly change into that? Is there any way to detect a disease or a poison or--

LAURA: Detect Good and Evil, maybe, or detect, do we have Detect Poison? I don't have anything like that prepared--

TRAVIS: I just don't know if I need it.

LAURA: I'm going to send a message to Essek.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Don't want Orly turning into a fish person.

LAURA: Hey Essek, do you have any diamonds on you that you'd be willing to give me like something worth, like, 100 gold or something? I promise I will pay you back or I could give you some gold now. I really need it. Can you just come over here if you have it?

MATT: For the element of that message that he did receive. He responds. "Ah. (sniffs) It is early, Jester."

LAURA: Oh shit, it's 2:30 in the morning.

MATT: "Unfortunately, that is not the type of component that I prepared for the journey." That's it.

SAM: I have this stuff that we got way back in, I don't know Zadash, Rexxentrum, have no idea where we got this, this bag of green glass dust stuff.

TALIESIN: I mean--

SAM: Does that do? Does that do something?

LAURA: It's not diamond dust, though.

SAM: I know, but does it take the place of that?

MATT: How much do you have?

SAM: 800 gold worth of residuum.

MATT: Residuum, by its nature, can be used to replace any amount of money's worth of a material component. That's part of the reason why it's also so sought after and so rare.

TALIESIN: Can I get 100 gold?

SAM: I mean, sure, yeah, I don't know.

TALIESIN: We can do this, if you like. This is, let's give this a roll.

LAURA: Caduceus is going to do it.

SAM: You've done a lot tonight.

MARISHA: (laughs)

TALIESIN: I would recommend, I would recommend holding his hand, this may hurt.

SAM: Or his abs.

TALIESIN: Or his abs.

LAURA: Hold my hand, Fjord.

TRAVIS: Just a second. What are we doing?

TALIESIN: It's going to be fine--

LAURA: We're just going to try something.

SAM: Have you ever gotten a tooth pulled?

TRAVIS: Yes.

SAM: It's like that.

TRAVIS: That didn't feel very good.

SAM: Well.

LAURA: Then hold my hand. You can squeeze it as hard as you want.

ASHLEY: Do you want to bite down on something?

MARISHA: You can use my bo staff.

TRAVIS: This is making me feel--

MARISHA: You want to bite on the bo staff?

TRAVIS: (groaning)

MARISHA: Oh, it's a little big, that's really big.

SAM: Do you want me to tell you a joke to lighten the mood?

ASHLEY: Take a swig from the flask.

TRAVIS: I have a bo staff in my hand.

ASHLEY: Okay, you'll be fine.

TALIESIN: Just for added bonus, I'm going to cast this at, like, 6th-level.

TRAVIS: Fuck you--

MATT: So you're casting Greater Restoration?

TALIESIN: Yep.

SAM: I'm going to cast Tasha's Hideous Laughter on him.

LAURA: No!

MATT: On Fjord?

SAM: Yeah, just so he's laughing while this happens.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: (manic laughter)

MATT: Roll a wisdom saving throw, Fjord.

TRAVIS: (manic laughter)

LIAM: Love that Joker.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: 18.

SAM: He beat it. Well, I'll still tell you the joke anyway. Why did Captain Tusktooth start smoking cigarettes at the dock?

TRAVIS: Why?

SAM: Pier pressure.

ASHLEY: Oh, wow.

MATT: Yeah, everyone takes psychic damage at that one.

SAM: Didn't work, he didn't laugh, everyone. Sorry.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm just going to take the residuum and I'm just going to pulse it through you and see what happens and give it a--

MATT: Mark 100 gold's worth of residuum off of your list.

TALIESIN: That's my level six for the day.

MATT: As you concentrate, Caduceus, and reach out towards Fjord's chest, you find your vision darken and your instinct immediately is that fight or flight, that fear impulse kick in. But you find yourself surrounded in warmth, like you were dropped into a warm bath. Caduceus, as you concentrate the same lichen that grows upon your armor begins to grow from your fingertips and find its way, gathering at the center of Fjord's chest, this bright pink plume of fungus begins to just grow and generate around the sternum. In you, in this moment with your eyes closed that warmth, you feel this twinge of pain right there that begins to grow and grow and burn and sear.

LAURA: You can squeeze my hand.

MATT: And you feel him, his hand squeeze tightly. Nausea begins to kick in wave after wave as this horrible pain begins to just burn from the inside. It is awful. It begins to come in such heavy waves that you find yourself falling to your knees and that nausea is burning heavily within the depths of your chest and belly. Caduceus, as you hold tightly, you watch as Caduceus falls to his knees and begins to just shutter. All of you begin to grow nervous with what is happening, especially with how now barely recovering from the edge of death. He seems to be convulsing in the way that he is.

LAURA: You're hurting him.

ASHLEY: I'm going to link my arm and his arm just to keep them there and to keep them upright and safe.

MATT: Okay. The pain begins to entirely consume your perspective, the warmth isn't there. The darkness is barely something you could concentrate on. It is just the pain and it feels like a burning white hot poker right in the center of your chest. Moving up towards your sternum, up to your clavicle. As the nausea kicks in, you find yourself retching. You watch as Fjord suddenly doubles over and vomits what seems to be gallons of frothy sea water onto the deck of the ship. (groaning) This horrible, guttural, all muscles tensing vomit, and as the seawater splashes onto it, with a heavy (thudding), you see a singular cloven crystal.

TALIESIN: Don't touch it. Somebody pick it up with an object and let's put it in the bag as quickly as possible.

MARISHA: I--

MATT: Your vision returns.

MARISHA: -- take off my sash and scoop it up and tie it off.

LAURA: I hold back his little teeny man bun.

SAM: You okay, Fjordy?

MARISHA: Holy shit!

TALIESIN: Put it in the bag as soon as possible.

SAM: It's coming out of your nose.

LIAM: If I put it in this, it will gone.

TALIESIN: Perfect.

LIAM: Gone.

SAM: What does that mean, "gone"?

TRAVIS: It's the, (groaning).

TALIESIN: How gone?

TRAVIS: It's the amber stone--

LIAM: Well, no one can see me.

TALIESIN: Perfect.

LAURA: Use my long sleeve to wipe up Fjord's face and mouth.

LIAM: Caleb starts placing out the pieces of amber around it on the deck, and as a ritual, casts the Vault of Amber and just goes (whooshing).

SAM: Widogast's Vault of Amber?

LIAM: No, just Vault of Amber, you don't have to say the Widogast part every time. Most of the time will suffice, but occasionally you can just dial it back to the actual function of the spell.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: It's WGBA.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

LIAM: I'm going to take all those, I collect them and I put, I keep the one piece of amber on a chain.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Hang it next to the other.

ASHLEY: How do you feel, Fjord?

TRAVIS: A few gallons lighter. I mean, I feel, I feel... fine?

MATT: I mean, given the circumstances, you don't sense any physical difference before or after, beyond just a sense of well being that washes over you knowing that that thing is out of you.

TRAVIS: Can I make myself look like Jester?

MATT: Certainly.

LAURA: Whoa.

TRAVIS: Does it work?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Whew. Okay.

LAURA: Whoa. What was that about?

TRAVIS: I'm just making sure I could still, you know, do things. I hadn't realized that was there.

LAURA: It's not the source of your power, Fjord.

TALIESIN: Not anymore.

TRAVIS: That's good. What did it look like?

MARISHA: (groaning)

LAURA: Really slimy.

MARISHA: Crazy.

LAURA: (retching)

LIAM: Strangely like an eyeball.

TRAVIS: Did it move?

LIAM: No, it just rolled and stopped.

TRAVIS: When you throw up that much, the eyes and the nose just go. It's like being on a carwash; I couldn't see anything.

MARISHA: Speaking of-- Marius!

MATT: (quick footsteps)

TRAVIS: How did he survive this?

MATT: "Hey."

MARISHA: Get a bucket and a mop. Clean up this puke, okay?

SAM: I think you mean swab the deck.

MARISHA: Swab the deck, Marius.

LIAM: Stopped raining at the wrong time.

MATT: "Aye, aye."

TALIESIN: Actually.

MATT: It's still raining, but he's just--

MARISHA: Marius, did you kill a guy? Did you kill that guy?

MATT: "I grievously wounded him."

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

LAURA: Good job, Marius!

MATT: "Thank you."

TALIESIN: How bad is "grievous"?

LAURA: It's pretty bad.

TALIESIN: Okay, well done.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Good work.

MATT: "I'll get the mop."

TALIESIN: Might get rid of the bodies of the three fish people. Keep the--

ASHLEY: Yeah, hopefully he's better at cleaning then he is at killing--

TALIESIN: Why do you want to help with that?

ASHLEY: No.

SAM: Do you think that maybe Caduceus should cast that spell on all of us just in case we all have strange curses or things inside of us?

TALIESIN: That's--

LAURA: Did you go around swallowing weird balls, too?

SAM: I mean. (laughter) My teenage years.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: College was interesting.

TALIESIN: I think Yasha and I are going to go downstairs and start gathering up the fish people.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: I'm going to cast Decompose on them, too, just--

TRAVIS: Actually, if you wouldn't mind bringing them up here first just to see them.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Yep. (wet plopping)

MATT: Yeah, they do make a weird (wet plopping) sound as they hit the deck.

TALIESIN: Like Donald Duck hiccuping.

TRAVIS: It's like (wet flopping)

MARISHA: I know people did some passes of them.

MATT: Bass physics. (laughter) Thanks, Oblivion.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Can I strip them down and turn around and, like, see if they have any tattoos, like look at the back of their neck--

LAURA: These are the people, people?

TALIESIN: These are fish people. We have all of them up here now.

TRAVIS: Could be a bite, could be a stab wound, could be--

MARISHA: Yeah, I just want to look for any markings on their body.

MATT: Make an investigation check.

MARISHA: Hell, yeah. That's what I do good on my good days.

TRAVIS: Usually.

MARISHA: Okay. 19.

MATT: 19, okay. On the the sea spawn creatures, the ones that maintain their fish form. You don't see any particular tattoos. You do notice they have heavy gills, they are very physically altered and there are mutations, the ones that have, like, the heavy quills that project from the body. They are far from human, but no particular markings is beyond just their physical alterations. The tentacle arms are quite disgusting. They have their own like a shark skin where from one direction it's moving then the other, and it pricks up into a very grating texture. The humanoid bodies that have reverted from the three there. You do notice on the leader, the lead one in the middle of the chest there is a familiar single yellow tattoo of an eye.

MARISHA: Was this is the one we cut into?

MATT: Yes. So you would have already noticed it, but it didn't come up earlier.

MARISHA: Right.

MATT: But yeah.

LIAM: Well, it's half, half of it's here--

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

LIAM: -- and half of it over here.

MARISHA: Yeah, you'd have to put it back together.

TRAVIS: And these ones that have been brought up, have they transformed back into their original states?

MATT: Yes. That's the elf and the Goliath.

TRAVIS: Oh, okay, sorry. There's no others, right?

LAURA: Does it look like the Avantika's tattoo?

MATT: It's similar, but the design's different. It's a similar type of, you know, a very much a tattoo scarring experience that is part of a worship or a symbolism for a familiar entity.

SAM: Did you have one of those tattoos?

TRAVIS: I did, but you don't want to see where it is.

MARISHA: Mm.

TRAVIS: It's very painful.

LAURA: Right on the taint.

TRAVIS: Yep, right on the in-betweenus, just--

SAM: Wow.

TRAVIS: Had to hold my ankles and ride the lightning. Just (tapping).

SAM: Oh ho ho! That's right, there's no machines.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Yeah. "(pained) Ah, ah, ah, ah!"

(laughter)

MARISHA: That's what they call an Uk'otoa.

TRAVIS: Just a couple of times that orb came up, and swallowed back down.

LIAM: Five years, everybody!

(laughter)

TRAVIS: The art that's going to come out of that--

(laughter)

SAM: Oh no! Hopefully a gif.

TRAVIS: (like Orly) Mm. (laughter) I don't know if we're counting. (laughter)

LIAM: (like Orly) Mm, mm.

TALIESIN: Chiseled. Chiseled, is as it was described.

TRAVIS: So it's--

MATT: (as Orly) "M-m-- Might want to bite down on this--"

(laughter)

LIAM: Boy, that was a two minute detour, guys.

TALIESIN: Yeah, we needed it. We needed a good laugh.

MATT: It is still raining, it is still freezing.

LAURA: Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

TRAVIS: A.M. hours?

MATT: Yes.

LAURA: It's still 2:45 now.

SAM: We should go to sleep. We got to go to sleep.

LAURA: We got to go to sleep.

TALIESIN: I'm going to--

SAM: Let's toss this bodies over.

TALIESIN: Let's keep the humans and toss the fish. I'm going to Decompose the fish if we want to drop them.

MATT: They don't grow fungus, but you watch as the body begin to grow a little more translucent and bits of foam begin to gather at the joints, before you throw them overboard. (splashing)

LAURA: I should really wash my arm off.

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: I'm going to wash my arm off.

MATT: Yeah, you're like halfway to the bicep.

SAM: Should we make a dome?

TRAVIS: Would you like to come to the captain's quarters? Or should I join you in the small room?

LAURA: I feel like it's safer if we're in the captain's quarters

SAM: He doesn't want to be alone.

LAURA: Well, he shouldn't be.

LIAM: Is there room for all of us in there?

TRAVIS: The last time I woke up there was a blade sticking out of my chest. I don't know, is there enough room?

MATT: I mean.

TRAVIS: It's cozy.

MATT: It'll be super cozy because you have a desk and a bed in that chamber.

TALIESIN: Is there a room for a dome? We can go downstairs and there's room for the dome, I guess.

TRAVIS: We can always get rid of the desk and the bed. No that's fine, we'll go below. Below decks.

LIAM: We should do the mid level, not the bottom.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: Yes.

MATT: Okay, so you guys head to the gun deck. There is a chamber that is definitively large enough to fit all of you comfortably.

LAURA: I had a big bed in my--

MATT: Yeah, okay.

TRAVIS: And I did cast underwater breathing at two in the morning. Okay, you guys ready yourselves for an evening's rest, eventually going to complete the rest of your night's sleep. So go ahead and take your long rest.

TALIESIN: Oh my god.

LIAM: I'm also-- Any time we do this, Caleb will go down to the bottom level of the ship and use his silver wire to make an X across the ceiling for where he believes we have stationed the dome so that there is an alarm set beneath the dome.

MATT: Okay, fair enough.

LIAM: That will be part of the bedtime ritual.

MATT: Okay, sleep doesn't come all that easy. As there is the sound of Gallan. (hammering)

LAURA: Wow, 2:30, good for him.

MATT: You told him to go fix stuff and it was their-- They're sleeping during the day when you guys are running the ship. So you guys are running odd hours, so there's always some crew manning it as you continue. But you manage it. The gun deck does have a bit of damage, both from the fight, the scuffle and you can see about three of the cannons have just hundreds and hundreds of tiny gash marks across the iron. Not enough to damage them or make them non-functional, but they definitely look textured and weathered. Some of the wood around them is splintered. The wood in the ceiling has a couple of moments or a couple locations that look a bit damaged. That's what's Gallan's currently working on repairing and getting some patching elements--

LAURA: Whoops.

TALIESIN: Look at all these lovely spells I got back. That's so nice.

LAURA: (chuckles)

MATT: The next day comes to you without issue.

LAURA: Without issue!

MATT: The rain does, however, greet you in the morning as you awaken. So at this point, you guys have a few more days to continue. The next day progresses, which I believe is the sixth day...?

LAURA: The fifth day, I think.

MATT: Fifth day, okay.

TALIESIN: Want to interrogate the bodies?

SAM and TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.

SAM: Do we eat breakfast first, or while we're interrogating? We should eat breakfast.

TALIESIN: Let's have breakfast first.

TRAVIS: And Caleb, your magic is so impressive. I sometimes take it for granted, where does that go? Just to another dimension or is it just hidden, or?

LIAM: Yeah, well, it is with me, but it is not on this plane. It is anchored to a point within this one specific hunk of amber. So anchored to that, and wherever I bring said anchor, that pocket travels with.

TRAVIS: So if someone were to trace or try to locate it, it wouldn't point to your hunk of amber?

LIAM: Well, I also have this. And I pull out the necklace I've had since the beginning of our story. This keeps me and all my possessions hidden. Not you or any of the rest of you, but your cat's eye marble is now erased.

LAURA: Wow. That would've been really useful when we had the beacon on us.

TALIESIN: Your--

LIAM: I haven't figured out how to do it yet.

TRAVIS: I'd prefer that. I just didn't want all of a sudden the attention of this thing to be pointed at you.

TALIESIN: Probably know what you look like.

LIAM: I think attention is still probably pointed at you. You know, people have tried to find us as we have tried to find other people and you're still the last one who had it so they would come with questions, perhaps.

MARISHA: Unless they were tracking the ball directly.

SAM: And we just killed five or six of his men. So maybe--

LAURA: Oh man, Uk'otoa is so pissed at you.

SAM: (whispered) Uk'otoa.

LAURA: (whispered) Uk'otoa.

MARISHA: I have a feeling Uk'otoa's not the sentimental type.

SAM: Yeah, but--

LAURA: He's a ragey type.

MARISHA: Feel like he can get more fish people.

SAM: There are more fish people in the sea.

MARISHA: There are plenty of fish people.

TRAVIS: We should see if these are just devotees, or if they were taken.

LIAM: Yeah, that's what I'm wondering.

MARISHA: What do we do with the ball now that we have it?

TRAVIS: What do you mean? It's in his hidden dimension of nowhere.

LAURA: We just keep it forever, hidden away.

LIAM: Possibly find a way to destroy it.

TALIESIN: I don't know if it can be destroyed. At the very least we could take it to the happy fun ball at some point.

SAM: Put a ball in the ball?

TALIESIN: Put a ball in the ball.

MARISHA: Meta-ball!

LAURA: What if we actually put the ball into the lava.

LIAM: We are-- yeah. Going to volcano, I was about to say.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: Maybe it'll have some cool effect that you can use to enthrall the guests.

LAURA: Ah, that's a good idea. Maybe we can turn all of the other people that worship the Traveler into fish people.

SAM: Wow!

TRAVIS: You know, you throw those pine cones into the fire they burn like blue and green, but this one's like, yellow.

LAURA: Yeah. Like a crazy big eyeball.

SAM: Crazy fire colors.

MARISHA: Whoa!

TRAVIS: I'm still a little woozy.

LIAM: Maybe it would anger a titan at the bottom of the sea and create a tidal wave, it's hard to predict--

LAURA: You never know.

TRAVIS: Let's ask some questions.

TALIESIN: Think about what you want to know.

TRAVIS: Oh, me?

TALIESIN: I mean, yeah.

TRAVIS: Okay. I haven't thought about it at all, let's do this.

TALIESIN: Which one do you want to start with?

SAM: The leader.

TRAVIS: Yeah, Tattoo McFuck Ribs.

MARISHA: Mm, I love the McFuckRib.

TALIESIN: You don't want to work up to it?

TRAVIS: We can ask all of them?

LAURA: It only comes every once in a while, but--

TALIESIN: I got a lot of these.

TRAVIS: It's true, let's ask the--

TALIESIN: One at a time and only once.

TRAVIS: Yeah, let's start with the female elf, then.

TALIESIN: All right, that helps if they see a friendly face. So hold on. I'm going to look like Avantika.

SAM: Oh.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: This is weird.

LIAM: Will she be able to see all of us or just you?

LAURA: Do you sound like Avantika or do you sound like--

TALIESIN: I sound like me, really.

LAURA: That's great.

TALIESIN: I can, I can try and--

LAURA: No, that's not very good.

TALIESIN: But they're not really that smart, so. I think that they only really pay attention to the person who casts the spell. I think everything else is just not there.

MARISHA: This is so weird right now.

TALIESIN: This is not life. I'm really glad that I can't see what this looks like right now. It feel, whoa, but yeah. I'm also so short.

MARISHA: I feel like that's what Avantika sounded like on Sunday mornings.

TALIESIN: (chuckles) All right, I'm going to put one of them up.

MATT: Which one?

TALIESIN: Which one do you want, the half orc or female.

SAM: The female.

LAURA: The female elf.

TALIESIN: Let's put the elf.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Start burning some of the fungus underneath, getting the spores out and I'm going to cast Speak with Dead.

MATT: Okay. The dull, lifeless look in the eyes is maintained though the eyes do (slurping), roll to look towards you.

TRAVIS: So great.

MATT: Just looking at you.

SAM: He's such a good sleeper.

TALIESIN: Who gave you your mission to find the orb?

MATT: "(raspy breathing) Uk'otoa."

ALL: (whispering) Uk'otoa.

MATT: I got to finally do it back to you guys.

TRAVIS: I would ask, was she a willing follower and the other one would be does she now has she came to take that previous shape?

TALIESIN: Were you willing follower of Uk'otoa?

ALL: Uk'otoa.

MATT: "Always."

TRAVIS: And ask her how she took her previous shape.

TALIESIN: Did the power to take your previous shape come from you or something else?

MATT: "It was granted. Reward."

TALIESIN: It's probably the end of that.

MATT: You have two more questions.

TALIESIN: I know that's three.

LAURA: You have five questions.

TALIESIN: I have five?

SAM: Five?

TRAVIS: Were they coming for the orb? or were they coming for me?

TALIESIN: A reward for what?

MATT: "Allegiance."

TALIESIN: Were you following the orb, or the one who carried it?

MATT: "Yes."

MARISHA: Fuck.

SAM: Dead people are the worst.

TALIESIN: Well, that's no help--

MATT: A bit of froth stumbles out of the mouth.

TALIESIN: Decompose.

ASHLEY: Decompose.

TRAVIS: Get the fuck out.

MATT: It's Caduceus's version of "talk to the hand"?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I'll toss that one over in a minute.

LAURA: Do you think those fish people were, like, fiends? Or do you think they were just like, just regular old creatures?

TRAVIS: Should we ask them, like, do they have a headquarters?

SAM: Where do they come from?

TRAVIS: Congregate? Yeah.

SAM: Where did they go to commune with-- I'm not going to say the name.

TALIESIN: I'll find out also, I think will ask also if they know who you were? If that makes sense. Or if they just--

TRAVIS: I would say yes, because I had it, but maybe you can ask, like, if, if he didn't have it anymore. Were you still going to need him?

SAM: It's a little complicated.

TRAVIS: Well, they're dead.

(laughter)

MATT: So the goliath and the human.

TALIESIN: Which one's the leader, is it the--?

MATT: The leader would be the human man.

TALIESIN: So let's start with the goliath, then.

MATT: All right. The thin, but very tall, half-giant figure's brought into the center, placed where you had previously set the ritual and sits there lifeless, jaw open.

TRAVIS: (laughs) Oh no, not the open mouth.

MATT: (growling)

TALIESIN: I'm going to prop the head up in my hand.

TRAVIS: Terrible, terrible.

MATT: Tongue lolls out a bit.

TALIESIN: Where do the disciples of Uk'otoa congregate?

MATT: "Wherever there's water."

TALIESIN: Do you know the name of the bearer of the orb?

MATT: "Maybe."

SAM: Maybe?

LAURA: They can lie to you.

TRAVIS: Oh.

TALIESIN: Uk'otoa.

SAM and LAURA: (whispering) Uk'otoa.

TALIESIN: Demands honesty. Tell me the name of the orb bearer.

MATT: "I don't know your face, I say what I wish."

TRAVIS: Do you still look like Avantika?

SAM: Yeah. Ask what color the fire would be, if we through the orb in the lava?

(laughter)

TALIESIN: How long have you been a follower of Uk'otoa?

SAM: (whispering) Uk'otoa.

MATT: "Not long enough."

LAURA: This guy sucks, this guy sucks!

MARISHA: Asshole!

SAM: He's the worst.

TRAVIS: What happens if Uk'otoa can't retrieve the orb?

SAM: You'll find out.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Has Uk'otoa been released?

MATT: "Soon."

LAURA: He hasn't. That guy sucked.

SAM: That guy was the worst.

LAURA: What a dick!

MARISHA: Like talking to Shelda, ugh.

SAM: Oh yeah.

MATT: "I'm right here."

MARISHA: Oh, hey Shelda, sorry.

TALIESIN: Last one if you want it.

SAM: Wait, do you want to change your appearance to make yourself more imposing?

LAURA: Make yourself look like one of the fish people!

SAM: Make yourself look like Fjord.

LAURA: Make yourself--

TALIESIN: It won't talk to Fjord.

LAURA: Look like one of them--

SAM: Fjord is a follower, or was.

LAURA: The bad guys.

TRAVIS: You could try and make yourself look like Vandran.

TALIESIN: I could, if I could do this more than once a day.

LAURA: I could do it.

TALIESIN: Yeah, sure.

LIAM, TRAVIS, and MARISHA: (fast tongue lolling)

TALIESIN: If someone wants to do that, then I'm okay with that, but I don't think I should look like you. I think that would be a very bad idea.

LAURA: What if we just looked like--

LIAM: This elven woman?

TRAVIS: You could. I don't have any objections to looking like me. Why would that be bad?

TALIESIN: If I were a follower of Uk'otoa, why would I tell you anything?

SAM: Because you could lie to them say, "It worked, you killed me. I'm now a follower, also." I don't know, you could just lie.

TALIESIN: If I said that to you, would you believe any of it?

SAM: You're very convincing.

TALIESIN: I'm not that convincing.

TRAVIS: Can you roll a deception check against a dead?

MATT: You can. If there's grounds for deceiving, yeah.

TALIESIN: Usually finding from a friendly face is the best--

TRAVIS: How's your deception modifier?

MATT: Unfortunately, that was not a face recognized by the individuals.

SAM: What about if you show them the orb?

TALIESIN: I think that would be a mind-bendingly bad idea.

SAM: That be like, "I'll give this to you if you answer my question."

MARISHA: Well, you know, they ran with this crew. Why not just make yourself look like the other woman?

LIAM: Yeah, the elven woman and brainstorm with this last one about what to do next.

TALIESIN: Well, if someone wants to do that--

MARISHA: Maybe you pretend to be him.

TALIESIN: If someone wants to do that, that's fine I--

TRAVIS: Jester, you could do that.

LAURA: Sure.

LIAM: Is the elven woman who--

LAURA: I will make myself look like the--

TALIESIN: Oh, you need to make me, because they won't talk to you.

LAURA: Oh, I was going to Speak with Dead.

TALIESIN: Oh, then you do it, go ahead.

LIAM: I pull out the pearl and place it against Jester’s forehead and spend a moment making geometric air shapes around her head, for lying to the dead.

LAURA: Okay, okay. What am I asking her?

SAM: That’s a good question.

LIAM: Well, let’s talk it out. They came to get Fjord. You are talking to presumably your leader.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: We don’t know if they came to get Fjord or the orb, if they know who Fjord is.

LAURA: Okay.

TALIESIN: We don’t know.

MARISHA: We still haven’t gotten the question answered on if they needed Fjord alive.

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: Are more coming, maybe?

LAURA: Okay, so I’m going to be like, “Oh, man, everyone got killed, except for me.”

LIAM: The target got away.

LAURA: The target got away.

LIAM: What should we do next?

LAURA: Do we have reinforcements coming? Should I go after him, or should I go after the orb? They threw the orb away. Should I go after– no, does that work?

LIAM: What should we do next, Fearless Leader?

TALIESIN: The dead can’t really– they’re not that bright. So... making them think complex thoughts doesn’t often go very well.

LAURA: Oh, okay. So I should just be like–

LIAM: I don’t know what to do without you. Who should I go to? What is our next move?

LAURA: Yeah, they used to-- I can't remember anything. Tell me where I'm supposed to go now? Okay, cool. All right, I'm going to Disguise Self as the elven woman.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: You know what makes me? I wonder-- I'm already the elven woman. I wonder if-- how long they were the creatures? Have they been like that for a long time? Or did they change at will?

TALIESIN: That's a good question, I bet they were like creatures--

LAURA: For along time?

TALIESIN: Probably for a long time.

LAURA: So I probably should've made my self look like.

TALIESIN: Yeah, you probably should've like blah, blah, blah. It's probably an easier voice.

LAURA: Did they speak? Could they talk?

TRAVIS: Can you do the Mercer sound? Can you do (staccato hissing)?

TALIESIN: They made a lot of--

LAURA: (staccato hissing)

MATT: There you go!

TALIESIN: Were they talking?

LAURA: I don't know. I'm just going to be the elven woman, because fuck it, I already did it.

SAM: Great.

MARISHA: They were saying commands to each other, Weren't they? Do I remember them saying commands to each other?

MATT: They were communicating.

LIAM: But they were doing fish sounds.

MARISHA: Were they speaking in Common, or they were speaking the fish sounds, right?

LIAM: They were Predator talking.

LAURA: All right, I'm going to Speak with Dead on the, what is it, the goliath guy?

SAM: On the leader?

TALIESIN: The human.

SAM: On the leader.

LIAM: No, the human.

LAURA: That's the one that haven't talked to yet.

LIAM: The one that we chopped up.

LAURA: The one we chopped up?

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Oh, okay. Good thing I'm not looking like myself, okay. Cast Speak with Dead.

MATT: Okay, so the final, the human man as you reach forward and finished the completion of the spell on it you can see one of the eyes, because one of the eyes is damaged and ruined from the battle. The other one like (slurping).

LAURA: Fjord should definitely, like, be away from (mumbling).

TRAVIS: What did you say, come over there?

LAURA: Don't, no, no.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: (giggling)

LAURA: Oh my gosh, they really fucked up your body! (laughter) Ooh!

MATT: The eye's just looking at you.

LAURA: Well, that battle did not go well, huh? Looks like, we got defeated and they got away, but what do we do now, leader?

MATT: Roll a deception check.

SAM: (imitating Laura) "Oh, what do we do now?"

(laughter)

TRAVIS and ASHLEY: (imitating Laura) What?

TRAVIS: Look at your pretty star necklace.

LAURA: Guide me, guide me.

TALIESIN: It's too late for that.

LAURA: No, it's not. Guide me!

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: Shit! Oh.

MATT: That was a very Stanley Spadowski reaction of you.

LAURA: That was really good! That was 23.

MATT: 23.

TALIESIN: She found the marble in the oatmeal.

MATT: She found the marble in the oatmeal. "Speak with him for guidance."

LAURA: That's a good idea, I don't know why I didn't think that first. So I got hit in the head pretty hard in that fight. I can't remember if we're supposed to follow the orb now or I was supposed to follow the green guy?

MATT: "One and the same."

LAURA: But not if the orb can get out of the guy, huh? which is what happened. Where should I go? What should I do? Should I keep going after the guy?

MATT: "Find the betrayer!"

SAM: Okay, okay, okay.

LIAM: That's you, Tarv.

LAURA: Okay, good idea. And then once I get him, I'm going to take him back to the temple close by. Maybe. Is that where we should take him?

MATT: "(drawn out) Yes. The final seal."

MARISHA: The final seal.

LAURA: Should I ask him anything else?

SAM: I mean, you got one question, you might as well. Are you pooping?

LAURA: I mean--

TRAVIS: What does Uk'otoa fear the most? Maybe that's a shit question.

LAURA: Yeah, so. Our god, man. He's pretty scared of that green guy, huh. Is he super scared of him? What is he scared of the most?

(laughter)

SAM: What are his weaknesses?

TALIESIN: Strongbad wants to know.

MATT: "I can't contemplate something far more than-- (groaning)"

(laughter)

TALIESIN: And Decompose..

LAURA: I really wanted to show him that I wasn't actually the elven chick at the end there.

SAM: You were so good!

LAURA: Oh my god, he totally bought it!

SAM: Yeah! So that's the trick, then, we have to play dumb with dead people.

LAURA: I'm going to switch back to myself.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Okay, they're just not real.

SAM: Wow!

TALIESIN: And they're now fish food.

LAURA: They were going after you, Fjord, they wanted you: the betrayer.

MATT: (splashing)

MARISHA: And they also want him to open up the last seal.

SAM: Wow.

TALIESIN: I get the distinct impression this is probably going to happen every time we get on a boat.

TRAVIS: This was a success. I feel rejuvenated and enthused.

SAM: You got rid of the ball.

TRAVIS: Yep, no problem.

SAM: We know that they're searching for you still and we need to protect you at all costs.

TRAVIS: I feel like if we just tied a little flag and a bell to the sphere, just, like, throw it over the side of the boat we could just fish with it. Wouldn't really worry about me so much.

SAM: Maybe.

LAURA: Hmm.

TRAVIS: No?

LAURA: They'd come and get it and then Uk'otoa would be released and then we'd all have to fight the giant--

TALIESIN: I get the distinct impression that the Uk'otoa really wants to find you, too.

TRAVIS: Okay, good.

TALIESIN: Traitor's not a nickname you--

LAURA: We just need to be prepared to have a fight every single night before we go to sleep.

LIAM: Pretty much, yeah.

TRAVIS: No fucking way!

TALIESIN: Just have to string up the ship and--

ASHLEY: Well, now would be prepared for it, you know?

TRAVIS: Should we try and ally ourselves with one of the other ships? Just work out what would we say?

LAURA: We should tell Essek.

TRAVIS: We're still going to be attacked, every night, by a bunch of fish people.

SAM: We might not be attacked every night. I mean they-- it's going to take-- we killed all of those, so it'll take time for word to get back, right?

LIAM: How many days are we out from the--?

MATT: This is the fifth day-- you guys. Depending on how long the storm lasts, it can be anywhere between another four to six days. You'll have to gauge it as the weather comes.

TALIESIN: I'm going to ask the Wildmother to end the storm.

LAURA: Ooh.

MATT: Are you going to try again?

TALIESIN: I mean it's a new day.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: 74. No, I don't think that works.

MATT: Ah, sorry.

TALIESIN: Nah, it's okay. It's the Hail Mary.

SAM: Are the other ships going full steam ahead? Full mast?

MATT: They're all going as quickly as the slowest ship. So it's not extremely quickly. Because they're all traveling, but they're also traveling in a formation to be ready for any sort of attack or assault that were to transpire on a mass scale, towards the ships that are in the center of the armada, which are the Winds of Aeons and the Blue Heaven, those that are transporting the artifact and the prisoner for this negotiation. So all of rest of the ships have encircled and they all travel at a continued pace. You guys are on the outskirts in the back right.

TRAVIS: Did we ever [inaudible]?

SAM: No.

TRAVIS: We don't know who the prisoner is? Is it prisoner? Or prisoners?

MATT: The prisoner is Vence.

LAURA: Vence, yeah.

LIAM: Blondie.

TRAVIS: Sorry.

MARISHA: They're going to be trading.

TALIESIN: As long as the two of us look forward, we should be--

MATT: Yeah. Nah, I'm giving you a break.

TRAVIS: I'm re-uploading from the cloud.

MATT: That's okay. (laughter)

TRAVIS: New phone, who dis?

MARISHA: Do not unplug your phone during this time.

LIAM: Veth is correct; we need to be ready every single night. It won't be every single night. It might not be at all, but we need to be ready. And I think it is likely, that if they come back, It will be more than the first time.

TRAVIS: That's true.

LIAM: They will learn from their mistakes and see that we were able to handle ourselves.

SAM: Well, that might be it for a while.

TRAVIS: Right. Maybe we should try and moor next to the other ships.

LIAM: Hope for the best, expect the worst.

SAM: Well, we should continue repairs on the ship and just keep plowing ahead as fast as we can.

MATT: Okay, all righty. (die roll)

TRAVIS: Agreed.

MARISHA: Caleb, are you going to take this Vess DeRogna?

TRAVIS: Did you just roll dice?

MATT: Hmm?

TRAVIS: Did you just roll dice?

MATT: (negative) Mm-mm.

MARISHA: Are you going to take her up on wanting to talk with her? Is that something we're actually going to do right now?

LIAM: Well, she asked us if we wanted work in the north. But we are far too busy at the moment to accept any work.

TALIESIN and ASHLEY: (giggling)

MARISHA: I mean, beyond us accepting work out of being too busy, wouldn't we want to avoid working for Vess DeRogna?

LIAM: We are not working for Vess DeRogna.

MARISHA: I know, I'm asking.

LIAM: Yeah--

TRAVIS: Can I summon the sword and cast See Invisibility?

MATT: Sure. Summon the sword.

TRAVIS: Any orbs--

MATT: Roll a perception check.

TRAVIS: 12.

MATT: Okay. At the moment, you do not see any orbs any sort of scrying beacons around you.

TALIESIN: I think it's not insane to at least tell Vess DeRogna what we know now. I mean, we know it. I don't see what the harm of just letting them know that we know what's up.

LIAM: That is complicated.

SAM: Super complicated.

MARISHA: Yeah, how do you mean know? Let them know what?

TALIESIN: That it was a call to the, sea god that's got a--

SAM: A grudge against us.

TALIESIN: Grudge against one of our people.

SAM: What would that benefit us though?

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: They'll just be like, "Oh great, well then don't follow us any more in formation. You're making us unsafe."

TALIESIN: I mean, I can't imagine that half the people in this group don't have weird stuff like that.

LAURA: Yeah, but they're not telling anyone else.

MARISHA: Exactly.

TALIESIN: I mean--

MARISHA: Everyone's got their shit. And you keep it on lockdown, man.

TALIESIN: Well. You're not worried that no one's talking to anybody else?

LIAM: Well, I am worried, Caduceus, but we are gambling a bit here. If we let them know that there is an all-powerful monstrosity under the ocean that is going to stop at nothing to unleash itself by murdering us. Probably the peace talks will be called off.

TALIESIN: That's fair. LAURA: Man, you slowed that guy for a while, dude, that's crazy.

TALIESIN: I'm just going to find out, they were they were surprisingly chill about the last time this happened.

TRAVIS: How many people are actively repairing the boat? Just one?

TALIESIN: I'll go with what the group thinks.

MATT: Well, you have Gallan is the carpenter assigned. The other carpenter is Jester, so currently it's just Gallan.

LAURA: I’ll go find him. I understand what you’re saying. I'm going to go out (mumbling).

TRAVIS: Jester, take someone with you and also someone go help Gallan. I just had a horrible thought that maybe since these humanoids could turn into those things. I just don't want to make sure we have some Black Pearl thing happening and some fucking ship comes up out of the ocean.

SAM and TALIESIN: I don't know what that means.

TRAVIS: Like a black pearl, you've never seen a black pearl before? Comes up out of the ocean turns into a ship and then we're fighting, like, an undead sea person ship.

TALIESIN: Is this a real thing?

TRAVIS: I don't know, I just vomited a ball, what do you want from me?

MARISHA: It's true.

LAURA: I'm going to go.

SAM: You want us to go check out on Gallan?

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Just start working on the ship just in case, we're all healed. I don't know if ol' Balleater is.

LAURA: We're going to fix the ship.

MATT: All right. Gallan's done quite a bit. Gallan's currently sleeping, because Gallan was up all night doing repairs.

LAURA: I'll start where he left off and keep going.

MATT: So you continue going. No worries.

SAM: I'll supervise.

LAURA: Don't supervise me.

SAM: I'm the cannon master.

LAURA: I'm an equal with you.

SAM: Yeah, but I'm in charge of the cannons.

LAURA: Then look at your cannons while I look at this wood.

TALIESIN: Cannons are kind of scraped up, I might add.

SAM: Yeah, I'll--

LAURA: Yeah, fix those cannons, somebody fucked them up.

SAM: I'll like--

TALIESIN: Polish your cannons?

SAM: Sand and polish the cannon metal. (chuckles)

MATT: Let me tell you, sanding iron: it's a great use of your time.

(laughter)

SAM: Then I'll stop after five minutes and start working on other stuff.

MATT: You feel accomplished. Sure, sure.

TRAVIS: (like Veth) My hand's tired.

MARISHA: Caleb.

MATT: Day-- Go.

MARISHA: My point was why would we even want to go talk to Vess DeRogna? Beyond us being too busy. She's, like, one of the prime murderous candidates of the Cerberus Assembly.

LIAM: Yeah, we are on the same page.

MARISHA: I was just asking if you're going to take her up on her offer. And you're like, "Well, we're really busy." And I was like, "That's not the point, though."

LIAM: Yeah, but Beauregard, we want to at least create the semblance of cooperation. I mean, we don't trust them. They know that. They don't trust us. We know that, but if there is even a hair of doubt in their minds that perhaps their empire citizens feel the need to cooperate or feel--

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LIAM: -- allegiance to country.

MARISHA: No, I'm with it, it hit.

LIAM: So keep it hazy.

MARISHA: Yeah, I was just checking in with you, man. Just want to know what the greater plan was on how we were going to do this.

LIAM: How we're going to turn these peace talks into actual peace?

MARISHA: No, you know what? Never mind. Think we're on the same page.

LIAM: Think so?

MARISHA: Yeah. Do you want to go talk to Vess DeRogna today or no? Because she was like, "Oh, we're going to be here on this boat and we got time if you want to, like, come and talk to me. I'll be here." So it was just wondering if that was a plan. But if not, then, like, fuck her.

LIAM: No, I think sometime in the next few days, it would make sense to try to, again, put out a show of good faith that we are trying to coordinate and also not wait until the day and see what happens.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm. So, what, tomorrow? You want to do this shit tomorrow?

LIAM: Let's go tomorrow.

MARISHA: All right.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: If you wanted an escort over to the Cerberus ship you could have just asked outright.

MARISHA: I was just looping you in on a potential plan, man.

LIAM: All right... man? (chuckling) And I walk away confused.

MATT: Okay. The rest of the day goes by without issue. The storm still maintaining, though not as thunderous as the night before. The rain is not relenting. The evening comes to and you guys are sleeping below deck with the same arrangement, I assume.

LAURA: Ooh, we should put a Fjord dummy in the captain's bed.

TRAVIS: A what?

SAM: A Fjord dummy.

TRAVIS: Oh, like a decoy.

LAURA: Yeah!

TALIESIN: A Fjord, dummy.

LIAM: I will also send Frumpkin the monkey to hang from the rigging of the ship within 100 feet so that he can tell me if anything is climbing onto deck.

MATT: Okay, easy enough, pardon me, okay. The rest of the day--

SAM: We'll take some shirts and pants and--

LAURA: Yeah, stuff them.

SAM: Stuff them with straw.

LAURA: Put them in the captain's bed. I'm going to paint--

MATT: Massive amount of straw that you guys keep below deck of your ship at sea.

LAURA: You know.

SAM: Rags.

LAURA: Rags, some rags.

MATT: All right, you can find some rags.

LAURA: I'm going to-- just the head.

MATT: Gallan is like, "I didn't need this bedsheets anyway, it's fine."

LIAM: Just put Marius inside.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: LePual, did you kill anyone? Surrender your bedsheets!

LAURA: I'm going to use my paint--

SAM: Yeah, yep.

LAURA: Thank you. To paint a Fjord head. That looks like Fjord's head.

MATT: You're using your magical paints, right?

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: It's going to become a Fjord head?

LAURA: Well it's not going to be-- it's not going to come alive, but it's going to look like Fjord.

MATT: Okay, you finish it and it looks creepily realistic.

TRAVIS: Wow.

MATT: It's just Fjord's face going--

LAURA: Oh, Eric, here.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: "Oh, Eric"?

SAM: Are you going to practice making out with it?

LAURA: No, he's sleeping, it's weird.

SAM: All right.

LIAM: It's also just a head.

LAURA: Yeah. Well, I put it on the decoy body.

SAM: Yeah, it's good, it's good.

MATT: Mark the used paint on it.

MARISHA: She has this, just this face. It's a little weird when you look back. Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Fjord, (groaning) okay.

MATT: The decoy is set. You guys complete the sixth evening rest.

LIAM: Actually, before everyone--

MATT: Yes.

LIAM: -- beds down, Caleb finds a moment to wander off to Yasha as she's just staring out at the ocean.

MATT: Two square feet with the back as well.

LIAM: Hey.

ASHLEY: Hey.

LIAM: You're awfully quiet the last day, are you all right?

ASHLEY: I think so.

LIAM: What's out there?

ASHLEY: Just watching the storm, I guess. Keeping tabs, making sure nothing else climbs aboard.

LIAM: You'll come to bed in a bit, yeah?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LIAM: Okay.

ASHLEY: How are you?

LIAM: Oh, very good.

ASHLEY: I-- (sighing) You know how Fjord said he had a dream that he swallowed that ball and then it was there?

LIAM: Yes.

ASHLEY: Does that make sense to you?

LIAM: That he dreamed and it became so?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LIAM: Well, that has never happened for me. But there are a great many things in this world, are there not?

ASHLEY: Yes, I seem to find that to be true every day.

LIAM: You're having colorful dreams lately?

ASHLEY: Yeah. Well, they're usually, you know, not very colorful, just strange, I guess. Yeah. Well, I guess we should get some sleep.

LIAM: Yeah, dream again.

ASHLEY: I hope so.

LIAM: You, for what it's worth. You seem a little more steady.

ASHLEY: I feel a little more steady. Which is weird because we're on a boat. Sorry, that was a bad joke.

(laughter)

LIAM: It's pretty good.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I feel like this group is pretty special. I know you and I both have gone through some things and we carry a lot of weight with us. But boy, do I feel lucky to be with these people.

LIAM: It's all about who you choose to surround yourself with, I think, that makes all the difference.

ASHLEY: I think it does. I feel safe with these people.

LIAM: We feel very safe with you.

ASHLEY: I hope so.

LIAM: Caleb pats her arm. I'm going to go get things ready down below. Join us when you're ready.

ASHLEY: I will. Continue to look out for a bit and I'll head downstairs.

MATT: Mmkay. As you all find rest for the night.

TRAVIS: Don't look over here. I don't want it.

MARISHA: ♪ Dream ♪

TRAVIS: Oh, you really are?

LIAM: (deep voice) ♪ Dream, dream, dream ♪

(laughter)

MATT: The bold face that you've grown to carry gives way when consciousness does as being captain of the ship requires a certain amount of strength in face. But in those solitary moments of sleep, the memory of what it felt to give away to darkness, a finality of it, the experience and memory of the life leaving you. It's cold. It's scary. Especially knowing that thing was still inside you. In that quiet, cold, isolating memory as you close your eyes and give in to sleep, and there is that bloom of green and warm blossom that helps wash away the anxiety. And while you don't see the face, you can feel her there with you, comforting. What was once a recurring nightmare of dark, lightless, abyssal depths. It's nice to have a, a warm, motherly embrace to greet you on the other side. And even in that cold moment of loss there's a part of you to believes she would've caught you. And that's comforting. Day seven comes to you all in the morning. As the storm subsides, the clouds break. The rain halts. And you all are getting closer and closer to your destination. Is there anything you want to accomplish today? Or do we move on to the next day? You look like you maybe have, with the weather clearing up all things going according to plan, maybe two, two and a half days to your destination.

LIAM: Oh, yeah. Can we see the Cerberus ship within view?

MATT: You can, yes. It's cloistered in the center next to the Blue Heaven.

LIAM: How far off is that about?

MATT: I'd say it's maybe about 350, 400 feet off approximately.

LIAM: Okay. Do you want to go for a walk?

MARISHA: Yeah.

LIAM: I cast Fly on the both of us.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Awesome.

LIAM: Come on.

MATT: ♪ Think of a wonderful thought ♪

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah.

ASHLEY: ♪ Any happy little thought ♪

LIAM: Back in a bit!

TRAVIS: ♪ Dun, dun, dun, dun ♪

SAM: Sure, fine, fly away.

MATT: ♪ Breaking faces people ♪ You guys coast through the sails amongst all the Dwendalian ships and the handful of Shore Warden cl--. My brain short circuited there for a second. The Concord ships as part of this armada as well. It's a beautiful sight now with the sun bright in the sky, the clouds mostly broken the reveal blue above. It's energetic and you coast your way through and over the water towards the maroon colored, stylized ship that is the Wind of Aeons. As you draw closer, you can see the crew on deck in the process of keeping eyes out someone looks up in points with a spyglass in your direction and stepping behind them, you can see the Martinet kind of--

MARISHA: Knock knock, don't shoot us.

MATT: (laughs) (explosion) (laughter) The arcane anti-air gun swivels into place.

TRAVIS: Turns around.

MATT: Yep.

TRAVIS: (shots firing)

LIAM: As they're as flying through the air, Caleb just gives a half grin to Beauregard because flying as is dope.

MARISHA: Yeah, this is great.

MATT: You guys touchdown on the deck.

MARISHA: I do, like, air back flip and then gracefully land, kind of Silver Surfer shit.

MATT: Hell yeah.

LIAM: I just land normally.

MATT: Right, of course. As you guys land, the Martinet stands there looking and goes. (clapping) "So by what do we owe this pleasure of a visit?"

LIAM: I think we just want a bit of a check in as we draw near to the hour at hand, yeah.

MATT: "So far so well. Things have been prepared and guarded and there has been no anomalies besides what I've heard is the apparent attack upon your ship."

LIAM: Yeah, we met Lady DeRogna the other evening. Is she here traveling with you?

MATT: "She is." He looks genuinely surprised to hear that you met with her, he's like, "Huh."

MARISHA: She was very kind to check in on us after the attack.

MATT: "Indeed, she's quite kind."

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: "Would you like me to fetch her for you?"

LIAM: Well.

MARISHA: Please. What? (Travis laughs)

LIAM: No, I thought I heard something on the ship breaking, but I was mistaken.

LIAM: Yes, yes. I think it'd be good if we all spoke together including anyone who is here who would be involved in deliberations.

MATT: "Hmm." You see him do a familiar hand motion as the one you've seen Jester produced many a time. "Lady Vess, you are being requested to the deck, please, if you don't mind. We have guests."

MARISHA: You got, like, five more words. Maybe 10. No, he's succinct. I forget.

LIAM: Yes, pithy.

MARISHA: Yep.

MATT: She just apparates next to him. (as Vess) "Well, it's very nice to see you both, sooner than anticipated." (as Ludinus) "Yes, they were just saying that you had met and checked in on them. So what is it you would like to discuss with us? Is it something that requires privacy?"

MARISHA: In time, with the lady, but until we get to that point, I think just a general sync up on what we're going to be doing.

LIAM: I think the expositor wouldn't like to know what your plans are for the moment.

MARISHA: And how do you see us functioning into these?

LIAM: Yes, the Bright Queen very specifically requested that we be there to ensure that not no funny business--

MATT: (as Ludinus) "And you are, that is why you're part of this Armada. The discussion is to transpire between both our lead ship and theirs. They will be anchored together. And this deliberation is to be helmed by the emissary Lord Zeddan Graf himself, I will be present for this as well as a few designated Righteous Brand elite soldiers and they will have their dignitary as well as protectors as well.

LIAM: Will Master Ikithon and any of his protégés be present?

MATT: "No, he is not part of this discussion."

LIAM: Is he sailing with us?

MATT: "No. But during that time, Athesias Uludan may join as well. Which should be interesting having to keep him and Zeddan civil. He's already taken quite a bit of my attention. Lady Vess is here as a-- I would say ancillary force, much like you are. She will not be part of the discussions, but will be keeping an eye on the perimeter. As will you. That is your purpose here."

LIAM: Are you expecting any interference?

MATT: "I'm always expecting interference."

MARISHA: What have you done to prepare?

MATT: "I have my means. And the key to preparing for interference is not letting all of your plans known. But trust and be assured, I've taken precautions."

LIAM: Trust comes slow.

MATT: "If at all."

LIAM: Very true. I think perhaps something that would assuage our nerves in this endeavor is inspecting the beacon, as discussed.

MATT: Lady Vess speaks up and goes, "That is of course--" and Martinet put his hand up and says, "And you would wish to inspect right now?"

MARISHA: No time like the present.

MATT: "Very well," looks to Lady Vess, who goes, "Come." Turns around and the two of them begin to walk towards the stairway that leads beneath into the ship. And you follow?

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

LIAM: Yes.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Are we alone or are we being followed?

MATT: Make a perception check.

MARISHA: Okay, 20.

MATT: 20. There are two Righteous Brand soldiers that just keep perimeter on the deck. They come together behind you guys and step to the top of the stairs, following you and then stopping at the top to just play vigil.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: You're led below to the center deck, which is where the gun deck would be. And you've seen some of the weaponry before. Ass opposed to cannons here, they have these-- they look like cannons, but there are a number of arcane runes burned into the sides of them. They're beautifully made, very elven in construct and they have a brass coil towards the edge of it.

LIAM: School of evocation?

MATT: Yes. Yes, you recognize those actually immediately and there's four of them below two on each side.

MARISHA: It's the magic cannons.

LIAM: Magic cannons.

MARISHA: That's cool.

MATT: You passed down.

LIAM: Depends which side you're on.

MATT: Yeah, this is the deck where you had previously seen the discussion between the Martinet and Essek. You head down to a lower deck which has a very, very heavy, enclosed door with no handle. As you approach to it, you can see the Martinet and Vess look at each other. They both mirror an incantation silently. You cannot hear what they say. And they face away from you so as to not have have lips read, but they both place their hands in the door simultaneously. There's a brief flash of energy and the door just disappears. Like, flickers and then varnishes. And there, inside a chamber, you can see there are some tables, there's a tea set on one of the tables in there. It's beautifully decorated. The interior here doesn't feel like it's the middle of a ship. It feels like it's the center of a guest pavilion or some sort of a, a meeting space for high end political figures. A beautiful rug on the floor, tapestries and paintings in the walls. It seems very out of place. But as he steps in, you see he lifts a finger and tea is poured into a couple of cups. "Are you thirsty?"

MARISHA: Sure, yeah. Thank you.

MATT: "Lady Vess." Lady Vess goes ahead and lifts up a secondary cup and they both lift them over to you before pouring some of their own.

MARISHA: This is truly a deck of many things.

SAM and TALIESIN: Oh, oh.

LAURA: (cackling)

SAM: (retching) (laughter)

MARISHA: Sea water, sea water!

(laughter)

MATT: Well played.

LIAM: Single sweat drop just starts to go down Caleb's--

(laughter)

MARISHA: I'm just going to get like, nudge Caleb, his drinking hand and I take a sip first. Do I taste anything off about the tea? Anything weird? Sense anything?

TRAVIS: Because you're immune to poison?

MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: You piece of shit.

MATT: Okay. (chuckles) You taste it. It is, it's quite delicious. It has a bit of a fruity, mango-esque flavor to it, but not overwhelming to the point where it, it feels like it's a juice. It's just enough to make it pleasant, but still light. It's nice and does not seem to carry any sort of toxin that you would recognize or discern.

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: It's a lich's phylactery.

MARISHA: Yeah.

(chuckling)

MATT: Both campaigns, got you! Eventually, they both sit down and Lady Vess motions for you guys to take a seat.

LIAM: Thank you. Do we see the beacon in this room with us already?

MATT: You do not.

LIAM: So how is it you will be a help to the negotiations in a few days, Lady DeRogna?

MATT: "I had been brought here as a an associate to the Martinet to ensure the transition of this artifact continues without issue, to answer any questions that are brought up, and to assure and hopefully discuss possible future alignment between the interests of various arcane projects between the Dynasty and the Empire. We are not confident, but at the very least, every beginning conversation is challenging. But it is the beginning of a conversation."

MARISHA: Is the Martinet here in the room with us?

MATT: Yes, the two of them are sitting at the table next to you.

LIAM: They'll open that door for us.

MARISHA: Okay. Didn't know if he left or not.

LIAM: You have hopes, then, not just to end the war, but to create agreement and collaboration between the two nations.

MATT: "Well, it make for a much more effective series of programs to work together than against."

LIAM: I agree.

MARISHA: Is that have something to do with the potential work offerings that you mentioned to us before?

MATT: You see the Martinet gives her a look.

MARISHA: Yeah. MATT: "Possibly, of course, which is why I was saying after this negotiation, that would greatly set the stage of what was possible. So if it is possible, and things go well, then maybe there is work for you to do at the behest of the Assembly.

LIAM: Well our calendar--

MATT: She looks back at Martinet.

LIAM: Our calendar is a little full in the short term.

MARISHA: Yeah. Got a few stops to make. Going to be on the sea for a little bit.

MATT: "There is no pressure at the moment, of course. There is always time."

LIAM: Miss Lionett and I are very curious what your proclivities are? What you are trying to achieve or discover in the north?

MATT: "Well, those would be on a need to know basis."

MARISHA: I'm looking at the Martinet, is he pissed? Is he intrigued?

MATT: Make an insight check.

MARISHA: Natural 20.

(cheering)

MATT: Be right over.

SAM: Whispers!

TALIESIN: Who's bringing these whispers to us< Sam?

SAM: There's no sponsor for the whispers but I'll just say, nope, this isn't a page. (laughter) If this was a combat cam, it would be from Dwarven Forge, but it's not, it's just a whisper. So I'll just say that it's sponsored--

LAURA: Happy five years.

SAM: Sponsored by--

ASHLEY: Happy five years.

SAM: The fifth year anniversary of Critical Role. Cheers.

ASHLEY: Cheers.

LAURA: No more champagne for us.

MATT: Martinet says, "Oh, but nevertheless. you're here for a reason." And he goes ahead and snap his fingers and on the floor next to him he watches an iridescent chest (poofing) appears in the space there, this slight drifting smoke around it.

LIAM: Chitty bang bang.

MATT: Yep. (car engine sputtering) (laughter) As soon as it appears here (creaking) and opens the lid and there inside, with a faint, familiar, undulating gray glow. You see a beacon.

MARISHA: Can I tell from this distance if it's the one that we saw at Pride's Call?

MATT: Make a perception check.

MARISHA: The one that we know is lost.

TRAVIS: It's bacon!

MARISHA: What is it did you say?

MATT: Perception.

MARISHA: Balls, titties and balls. Five.

MATT: A five total?

MARISHA: Yeah, I rolled a two.

MATT: (inhalation)

TRAVIS: You die.

MATT: You can't tell.

LIAM: Do I recognize it? I know it's not.

MATT: Make a perception check as well, you guys can both roll.

LAURA: I would guide you, but you didn't take us.

LIAM: No, we didn't. Sometimes players just run off and do shit on their own.

(laughter)

MATT: She wouldn't know about that.

LIAM: No. Where'd she go? She's painting dicks in a church somewhere. I don't know.

(laughter)

SAM: She's fixing your ship right now.

LAURA: Yep.

LIAM: 15, not my ship. 15.

MATT: 15. Glancing over, it's not too far from you, but giving it a once over and you guys have a moment there is a pregnant pause at its reveal, and they're allowing you to inspect there isn't any sort of haste to break the purpose that you're here for. But its size is larger than the one you saw at the Vergessen Sanatorium. The handles and inlay match those of the ones the Assembly had-- not the Assembly, the Dynasty had constructed. This is not the one that was recovered from Pride's Call. This appears indeed to be.

MARISHA: One of the stolen ones.

MATT: One of the stolen ones.

LIAM: Not the one that we toted it around for a while.

MATT: No, that one you gave to the Bright Queen, but this one is nearly identical to that one in the structure around it.

LIAM: May I?

MATT: (as Vess) "Of course. Martinet?"

MARISHA: Do it.

LIAM: Lift it up, and set it down, there's little tables, tea tables?

MATT: There is a table, and as you look for a space, that Martinet wipes his hand, and you watch the tea set shift over and--

TALIESIN: Crash, bang.

MATT: And float there in the air.

LIAM: Beauregard, will you have a look at this with me?

MARISHA: Same yeah, samesies, yeah.

LIAM: I would like to slowly take time to check it for anything hidden or affixed to it.

MATT: Make an investigation check.

LIAM: Okay.

MARISHA: Balls. Eater of balls.

LIAM: 15.

SAM: That's not terrible.

MATT: You take some time you inspect it, look over look at the the casing, looking at the handles, looking within it, it is unmarred. There are no cracks or imperfections in the dodecahedron. The beacon seems solid. The, the golden materials and the inlay that holds it there and affixes the handles to it seemed pristine. Doesn't appear to be altered in any way.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: It's different than the one. Yeah, it's different because it is a unique beacon, but it is familiar to the one that you had lugged around for quite some time.

LIAM: I'm going to inspect it further. Don't mind me and begin to go through the process of casting Detect Magic upon it.

MATT: Okay. They do not flinch. You cast the spell and a very, very strong, magical aura emanates from it,

LIAM: And is it all dunamancy?

MATT: It's all very heavily dunamancy. Like while all the schools of magic are contained within dunamancy in a sense, the dunamantic essence from it is so strong and so esoteric, and in much like when you had first inspected the beacons upon arriving it is almost overwhelming. It's like looking into the sun.

LIAM: And finally, I will place both my hands on it and stare into it.

MARISHA: I'm going to step in front and just not take my eyes off of the two of them while he takes a minute.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Going to take a dive.

MATT: All right, you continue to focus and lean towards it. As you do you feel your essence extend, and the interior of the chamber fades away as you feel your consciousness drawn into a nexus of possibility, infinite and endless around you. Starscapes, stars, are they people? Are they points in time? Historical moments? Future moments to happen? It is so much information at once. And you feel a part of yourself pulled in and a part of it comes into you. And in that space of endless possibility. You can see the threads of fate and the bodies that walk in the world around you. You feel like you have an outside look on Exandria and beyond the tapestry that creates it, but yet so small in this one infinitesimal moment and have both at the same time overlapping. It's starting to pull at the edges of your sanity for but a moment, and you withdraw as the mote is carried with you, and you have a fragment of possibility within yourself. You keep an eye, they don't flinch. They seem almost impatient. (chuckling)

MARISHA: I don't say anything, I just look at them like those tough ass bodyguards. See.

LIAM: Those tough ass Beauregards?

TRAVIS: What do they look like?

MARISHA: Yeah, those tough ass Beauregards. Just this, just this. Right now.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Slay.

MATT: I've seen her get in a dude's face before with that look, it's not pretty.

MARISHA: Oh, that's a story for another time.

MATT: Oh yeah, I know.

SAM: No, let's stop the show and tell everyone.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: We're doing sand kings? Oh, never mind. Carry on.

(laughter)

MATT: So it's always great when there's that instinct as a guy to, you know, intervene when somebody else is bothering your girlfriend or wife, but I don't need to. I just get to watch her destroy them every time. Anyway, Caleb?

LIAM: I see why this is of such value and two nations are at odds over it. I commend you on letting go of it

MATT: (as Ludinus) "It is important to keep things under control and hopefully without disrupting society."

LIAM: To Lady DeRogna: So much to learn. I am surprised you are able to let it go.

MATT: (as Vess) "Well, it is not easy by any means, but it is just how things have to be."

LIAM: Seems like a missed opportunity for our home.

MATT: "Well, if these talks go well, maybe there will be opportunities to share without bloodshed."

LIAM: Does she seem bullshit?

MATT: Roll an insight check.

MARISHA: Come on.

SAM: Does she seem bullshit?

MATT: She is made of bullshit.

TALIESIN: 100% pure bull manure.

MATT: It's like the guy that turned to jelly in Airplane II.

LIAM: 10, 10 total. I just rolled a two. 10 total.

SAM: Whispers.

MATT: I mean, she's generally pretty guarded and hard to read. You're not sure if she's telling the truth, she's lying. She's putting a statement forward and then sticking to it.

MARISHA: I hope you have a very understanding contact on the side of the Dynasty.

MATT: "I hope so as well."

MARISHA: We'll be keeping our fingers crossed.

LIAM: Yes, this all seems to be in order. I feel confident this will go very well.

MATT: (as Ludinus) "As do I. We have all the pieces in place."

MARISHA: We'll keep our ship very close by on the day of the negotiations.

MATT: Lowers the beacon to the same chest and it closes and vanishes.

MARISHA: We'll make sure we're stationed on the other side. Where are the prisoners? Where are you keeping them?

MATT: "Those are being maintained by the Lord Graf in the Blue Heaven.

LIAM: Well, I think we've done what we set out to do.

MARISHA: I have no further questions.

SAM: The prosecution rests.

MATT: "It was a pleasure to see you and to our victorious peace talks."

LIAM: Yes. Thank you so much, both of you for your time.

MATT: They both stand up, guide you back to the deck.

LIAM: Bis später.

MARISHA: Catch you later, DeRogna.

MATT: (as Vess) "Looking forward to it, Beauregard."

MARISHA: Yep.

LIAM: And I pull out the raven's feather again and I cast Fly on the two of us.

MATT: Fly lasts for how long?

LIAM: 10 minutes

MATT: 10 minutes, yeah, so it would've have faded, yeah.

LIAM: So we Mary Poppins away. MATT: All right. As you guys glide your way back towards the ship we're going to go and take a break. Because it is 9:15.

TRAVIS: A serpent comes up out of the water and snatches both of you.

(laughter)

LAURA: We never knew what happened

MATT: Don't spoil my return, man.

ASHLEY: Can you do the noise again?

MATT: Which one?

LAURA: The (poofing).

TRAVIS: You know the one.

MARISHA: The Chitty--

MATT: (poofing)

(laughter)

ASHLEY: I love it so much.

TALIESIN: You're making me feel so bad.

(chuckling)

MATT: That sound in particular reminds me of the poor wolf coyote from Sword in the Stone that can't catch up and at one moment, where he is super tired, he's like, (heavy panting). I love it so much. Anyway, we're taking a break, we'll back here in a few minutes. Before we get to that, we do have our Wyrmwood giveaway of the night, we have a fantastic black walnut table tray with leather for one lucky winner in the chat. Tonight's chat keyword is punish. Punish. Enter it in once and only once. More than once, you'll be disqualified. Once again for US and Canada only, excluding Quebec, maybe only for a little while longer because I saw the article that Quebec is trying to loosen their giveaway laws.

ALL: Wow!

MATT: So fingers crossed, because we would love to get some Quebec people into this.

TRAVIS: Chill, Quebec. (laughter)

SAM: Hey, chill, Quebec.

MATT: Anyway, we'll be back here in just a little bit with the second half of today's session. We'll see you shortly.

Break
(bright upbeat music) ♪ You got the perfect warlock ♪ ♪ Her weapons and supplies ♪ (tape rewinding) (Ashley, out of tune) ♪ You got the perfect warlock ♪ ♪ Her weapons and supplies ♪ ♪ But you need a place to track your stuff ♪ ♪ 'cause you're so disorganized ♪ ♪ You click open a web page ♪ ♪ You heard about on Critical Role ♪ ♪ And now you're ready to kick some butt ♪ ♪ In a mineshaft full of gnolls ♪ There it is. ♪ ♪ It's D&D, D&D ♪ ♪ D&D Beyond ♪ SAM: Good, that's good! ASHLEY: ♪ D&D, D&D ♪ ♪ You got your staffs ♪ ♪ You got your swords ♪ ♪ You got your stuffs ♪ (laughter) ♪ And you got your invisible wand ♪ ♪ It's D&D, D&D ♪ ♪ D&D ♪ TRAVIS: (bass imitation) Do do do, do do do do ASHLEY: ♪ D&D Beyond ♪ (cheering) SAM: Yay, Ashley! It was a pitch perfect performance. MATT: Hello everyone, Matt here. Just wanted to say happy five year anniversary to Critical Role. This is, it's insane. I have no other way to express it. We're here on our fifth year of telling these stories on the internet and building the greatest community and fandom around the property on the internet, in my opinion. I'm just so thankful. I'm thankful, I've no other word to describe it. You've all been absolutely incredible. Your support for the show and what we're doing, your support for each other. And we're just super excited to continue to tell these stories with you to make fun content with you and be silly on the internet and hope you guys still continue to come along with us. So happy five year anniversary. I love you guys very much. And I guess to the next five, I guess! We'll see. (kiss) ASHLEY: Critters, happy five year anniversary! Oh my gosh, I can't believe it's been five years. And to all the OG critters that were with us from day one, to the critters who have joined us in campaign two, we are so beyond grateful for all the love and support that you've shown us and for coming along this journey with us. You all have absolutely changed our lives, and we can't thank you enough. And for those times where I was in New York, and I wasn't able to be there and all your love and wishes and your amazing character art-- That pulled me through a lot. So thank you so much. And thank you for being there for us and to another five years. (kiss) Love you. TRAVIS: Hey, you beautiful people. I can't believe it's been five years since we first started streaming our show, what? I do distinctly remember early in that spring of 2015 Matt Mercer coming over to our game and telling us that we were going to take a shot, putting it on the internet, whatever that means, and just not knowing how to feel about that. I mean, it was ours and it was private and who's going to want to watch a bunch of voice actors play D&D for a few hours every week? Turns out the last five years have been just evidence to the contrary of that, shows what we know. But we're so insanely grateful for you guys. Thank you for sharing your hearts and your minds and your energy and your art and your talent, your compassion with us. It's been so insanely rewarding, and we feel like we're the luckiest group of people in the world. And even though it's been five years, it really feels like it's just the beginning. We have so much cool stuff to share with you guys coming up and so many more adventures to go on and we just can't wait for you to see it. So here's to the next five years. We love you guys and I really hope that I'm not dead. LAURA: Hi. So I just put Ronin to bed. That's our son, that we've had, since doing this show. Five years. Five years! You realize that's longer than most relationships. I mean, longer than any relationship I had before Travis, that's for damn sure. Wow. I mean. I can't-- I can't believe how much we've all, you know, grown and changed since we started doing the show. And I feel like you guys have been there with us every step of the way. I feel like you guys know us better than some of our best friends because you see us in our best moments, in our worst moments, in our ups and our downs and-- I-- god. I have so much love for you guys. I have so much love. Thank you for-- god-- I'm not going to cry. Thank you for your continued support and your excitement and your imagination, your creativity, and everything that you guys put-- put forth to us. Oh god. I just love you so much. I mean five years, it's nothing in the long run. We're going to be doing this for at least another hundred. I mean, Taliesin will, for sure. I'll see you guys in another five. I'm not going to cry then either, because I'm really tough, so. LIAM: Dear critter community, the world around. Thank you. Thank you for journeying with us for five years of this show. I remember sitting down for the very first game, on the very first episode, and somehow it's five years later. This has been an adventure born out of friendship and love. And it still is. And even now, after everything that's happened, we-- none of us can fathom how far down this road we've come together. And I just feel like expressing some gratitude for it. Really, thank you. Getting to tell stories together the way we have for all this time, every week, has been one of the greatest gifts in our lives, certainly in mine, and your support and enthusiasm has meant the world. So how lucky we've been to have had all of you with us. How lucky indeed. Thank you. TALIESIN: Hey, everybody. It's been five-- been five years of this strange show. And thank you so much for joining us every Thursday for our ridiculousness. And I cannot wait to show you all what we've been working on for this year. It's going to be pretty cool. (chuckles) Thank you all so much. And see you next Thursday, this Thursday, as many Thursdays as we can manage. Thank you. MARISHA: Hello and happy five year anniversary, all the critters all over the world. I can't believe it's already been five years of doing this show. I think if someone would have come to me five years ago and told me that my D&D game was going to be a part of a global nerdy phenomenon, I probably would have punched them in the face and then asked to borrow five bucks for gas money. So every day is just a wild ride, and I think what I am most grateful for is the way that this entire experience has really given my faith back in humanity. And that's because of you all. Also, Dagon thanks you for making her a bird-lebrity. I don't think she could ever go back to the lifestyle that she lived before being a famous bird. So that's, that's on you all. Thank you. Happy anniversary. Love you all so much. I'll see you next Thursday. SAM: Happy fifth anniversary, everybody. Wow, I can't believe that we're really here five years into this crazy experiment called Critical Role. We're so grateful for you guys. The critters who've been with us this entire wild ride. I don't know what the future holds. I don't know what our next adventure will be. But I'm so excited to explore it with you guys and to share it with you. I'm looking forward to five more years of role playing and shows and adventures and excitement and five more years... of shirts. Because, I mean, look at these guys. There's so many. And they've there's so-- they're ridiculous and I get to make them for maybe another five years. So hey, watch out, Matt, because I'm coming for you. I'm coming for you. And the shirts won't stop. (upbeat jazz music) MARISHA: Hello everyone. It's me, Marisha Ray, Creative Director for Critical Role content. And I want to take a moment to speak from the heart about how much we appreciate your support. No frills, no crazy gags, just honesty. Over the past five years, we've made a lot of ridiculous promos in an attempt to earn your subscription here on Twitch. We've leaned on juvenile prop humor, cheap costumes, and putting our loyal employees in slightly embarrassing situations eagerly hoping that we've captured your attention. Today, I am not resorting to edgelord jokes written by Brian W. Foster. Or dressing Sam as a celebrity to recreate an obscure commercial most people haven't seen to remind you that subscribing with a Twitch Prime account requires you to re-subscribe each month. We don't always need an elaborate green screen gag or have to put Matt in cosplay to tell you that you can easily give subscriptions to fellow critters if you're feeling generous. I mean, hell, I've consumed entire production days shooting complicated parody promos featuring Taliesin Jaffe as a vintage spooky boy in full monochromatic glory all in the hope that your smile may turn into a sub. But not today. No weird graphics. No puppet murder. No Sam Riegel. It's just me, here to say: thank you. Love you all. Good night. (kiss) (upbeat jazz music) (intense electronic metal music) (upbeat electronic music) LIAM: Cheers SAM: Should we do another inhale-exhale? SATINE: Yeah. SATINE, LIAM, and SAM: (inhale) (exhale) (upbeat electronic music) BRIAN (V.O.): Last time on Talks Machina. BRIAN: "Did Fjord have any trepidation about being on the sea? "Were you as a player expecting this "or did Matt blindside you?" TRAVIS: No, I'm a fucking moron. BRIAN: I guess, yeah, we kind of know the answer to that one. TRAVIS: I didn't think about it at all! (laughter) TRAVIS: I'm sure people are like, "How the fuck did you not think the first time "you were back on the sea Uk'otoa's coming correct?!" Well, I didn't! I'm sorry! BRIAN: We went to Disneyland the next morning, right? It was the next morning? ASHLEY: Yeah. BRIAN: The next morning I was like, "Hey man..." (as Travis) "Nope! Nope!" I was like, "Oh no." TRAVIS: I thought, like, you know well, ASHLEY: Funny. TRAVIS: There'll be some RP, and we'll get out there, and there'll be this deal that happens, and I don't really know what's going to happen next, maybe I'll have to check on some elements from my backstory TRAVIS: You thought for sure you'd be able to see it coming? TRAVIS: Yeah, I mean, I don't have anything that the old snea snake wants any more. BRIAN: Yes, you do. Yes, you do. TRAVIS: Well, I didn't know that! BRIAN: Read your inventory. TRAVIS: I didn't get an MRI, I didn't know I had a grapefruit in my chest any more. BRIAN: Does D&D Beyond have an inner body inventory part? They should add it. Adam, if you're watching. Ashley: "Yasha is continuing to play her harp more "and prioritize it as a method of self care "at the end of her day out. "Can you share a little bit about "how it feels for her to have this gentle and safe outlet "for some of her pain and emotion?" ASHLEY: I'm using the harp as, yes, for self care for her, but also I think music can be a form of therapy. So, you know, and there was a moment where I was like, "Man, it'd be so fun to multi class as a bard." But then I remembered my wisdom is so low. BRIAN: That's right, yeah, that's right. ASHLEY: So it just, I wouldn't be able to-- It wouldn't work. And I actually I talked to Matt about it and he's like, it, "Ah, it would just--" There's more that I want to explore with that. And I don't quite know what it is yet, but I think where it sits right now, I think it's just-- it's a form of therapy for her. BRIAN: I would like to thank Travis. I would like to thank Claudia Schiffer from the film Love Actually. (cheering) TRAVIS: You saved it for the end and it is definitely-- DANI: That was a pull. TRAVIS: -- the winner! DANI: That was a pull. TRAVIS: Wow! It it totally Claudia Schiffer with Liam Neeson. Oh my god. DANI: She's in one scene. ASHLEY: How?! How do you think of these?! DANI: It was three minutes on camera. ASHLEY: Oh my god. TRAVIS: You saved it. (dramatic orchestral music)

Part II
MATT: Welcome back everyone. Let me see if I have the information on our winner tonight. It hasn't come yet, strangely.

SAM: Oh, interesting.

LAURA: Ooh.

SAM: It's suspenseful.

MATT: It is, but when it arrives I will announce it.

SAM: Ooh man.

MATT: But that's okay, until then, let's go ahead and jump into this story. Yeah, we'll jump now into the episode. Totally fine. All righty, so. You both return, flying through the air landing back on your ship where the rest of your crew awaits, on day seven.

LIAM: Hello.

LAURA: Hey, where were you guys?

LIAM: You know--

SAM: Did you find out anything?

LIAM: Over there.

MARISHA: Yeah, it appears to be the beacon that was stolen not the beacon we saw on Pride's Call.

LAURA: You went and looked at the beacon?

MARISHA: Yeah, we checked it out.

SAM: It's the one that was stolen from-- in-- when we saw it be stolen, no, we recovered that one.

TRAVIS: Yep, gave that back.

MARISHA: There were two.

SAM: This one was stolen from where?

MARISHA: At the Dynasty.

SAM: When, did we witness this?

MARISHA: Around the same time. SAM: Around the same time, okay.

MARISHA: The one in Pride's Call we saw was smaller.

SAM: So they still have an extra one that, they that no one's accounted for?

TALIESIN: That they found buried, I believe.

LIAM: Correct.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

SAM: That's good, right?

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

TALIESIN: Good as it can be.

LIAM: It's complicated, but they seem, as best Beauregard and I can tell to be-- we couldn't find anything wrong with it. And--

SAM: Well good, I mean, as long as they didn't give you anything to drink, I think we'll be okay.

TALIESIN: Oh, yeah, that'd be bad.

MARISHA: Yeah, it went great.

SAM: Cool.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: We were attacked while you were away.

SAM: Yeah, fish people.

LIAM: More fish people? LAURA: Lots of fish people.

TRAVIS: More prepared this time.

LIAM: We were only gone for like 40 minutes.

MARISHA: 15 minutes, it's crazy.

SAM: Fjord threw up four more balls. LAURA: Battles happen in less than a minute, you guys, like, it's in and out.

MARISHA: Wow.

TRAVIS: I'm like a Skee-Ball machine over here.

(gagging) (laughter)

SAM: Some of them weren't even balls, they were, like, triangles.

LIAM: Today's lotto number is 22.

TRAVIS: Like a great white shark.

LIAM: 16! Two!

MATT: There you go.

SAM: I think they're eggs. I think he's laying eggs.

TRAVIS: You know too much.

MARISHA: Also, there were some pretty interesting interactions and glances between Vess DeRogna and the Martinet.

LAURA: Oh, are they boning?

MARISHA: I think he definitely hates her.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: So yes.

MARISHA: Yeah, they might be hate fucking. I mean, it's a good time. If I do say so-- but that's not the point. My point is--

SAM: It's just good color.

MARISHA: It's-- yeah. It seems like she's running her own show, separate from Ludinus Da'let-- Ludinet? The Martinet.

LIAM: Ludinus Da'leth. There is a friction amongst all of them, it seems like. They are all vying for power for the Assembly, but then within the Assembly, they're all vying for power.

MARISHA: Kind of threw her under the bus by mentioning the job offer that she gave us the other night.

LAURA: Ooh.

MARISHA: And The Martinet did not look too stoked.

SAM: Oh, nice. Nice work.

MARISHA: Just sewing a little, you know, in-party fighting.

TRAVIS: Seeds of discord.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LIAM: So if you look at it right, it was a complete and total victory.

LAURA: Is it normal? I mean, didn't... Who was it that said that-- was it Yussa that said wizards have a hard time working with each other because they're very powerful? Or was that Halas?

LIAM: No, it was Yussa. And ego plays a great part in it as well.

LAURA: Do you think, as you get more and more powerful, you'll become, like, egotistical Caleb instead of nice like you are now?

SAM: No, no, he's getting more and more warm every day.

MARISHA: He's nice?

SAM: Of course he's nice.

TALIESIN: He's very nice.

MARISHA: (laughs) I'm just fucking with you.

LIAM: I don't know.

LAURA: I think you should stay like you are.

SAM: But get incrementally more powerful until you can achieve your goals.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: If we recruited, like, another wizard would you guys butt heads?

LIAM: Well, you know, Essek and I get along fairly well. I think.

LAURA: That's true.

LIAM: And wizards I've known in the past, we did not butt --

MARISHA: Heads. Butt heads.

LAURA: You butted other things?

TALIESIN: Are you saying butt heads or buttheads?

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: Or bump--

SAM: Speaking of wizards, I would love your help. I've been working on a new spell.

LIAM: Oh, yes?

SAM: Yes and I would love your help at some point.

LIAM: My alarm bell's going off, tell me more.

SAM: No, I just started tinkering with it. So maybe when we have a quiet moment, we can work on it.

LIAM: I'm curious to hear and to see.

SAM: Mm-hmm.

LIAM: Well, that's all I want to talk about now.

SAM: I mean yeah, but everyone's here then. We have work to do on the ship so let's that's tallyho.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: What?

LAURA: Yeah. I'm going to go keep working on the--

TALIESIN: I'm going to boatswain, I guess.

LAURA: I'm going to wander off and stop working on the repairs because it's boring.

MATT: Okay, checks out.

(laughter)

LAURA: I'm going to wander up and sit up in the crow's nest.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: There are still pillows and possibly some blood up there.

LAURA: Ooh!

TRAVIS: Fair bet.

MARISHA: Ooh, yeah.

MATT: Yep, most likely.

TALIESIN: Blood-stained pillows.

MATT: Well, the rest of the day goes on.

LAURA: I'm going to send a message.

MATT: Okay, send a message, the rest of the day continues with Jester.

LAURA: I'm going to send a message to the messenger that I summoned, that's bringing the cupcakes.

TRAVIS: Oh, the running fucking 90 miles an hour.

LAURA: Hey, it's Jester, did you deliver the cupcakes? I'm just wondering because I haven't heard from you and then I realized we're at the sea so you probably can't find me.

MATT: Okay, the spell that you cast was--

LIAM: (high-pitched) I'm on another plane of existence!

SAM: Gotta go fast.

MATT: Planar Ally, right?

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Finally [inaudible].

SAM: [inaudible]

TALIESIN: Planar Ally's such a fascinating spell.

MATT: There is no response.

LAURA: Okay, so they're probably either dead or they did it. I'm going to send the message to the hag.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Sure, sure.

LAURA: “Hey, it’s Jester! I sent you some cupcakes. Did you get them? Oh my gosh, they’re black moss, just like I promised you. Are you thinking about–?”

MATT: A moment passes before you hear, “I did. They were... tasty. (Ominous breathing)”

LAURA: I feel like I could feel her breath on my neck as she was sending me a message. That’s really weird.

SAM: Six more messages.

LAURA: One last thing. Okay, so. I want to Scry on the Traveler.

SAM: Ooh.

MARISHA: Oh shit.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: What?!

SAM: (quick back and forth movements)

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Dude!

TRAVIS: Feverishly beating it. In the Feywild, just wank in a bank.

MATT: As you sit down and set up your ritual and begin concentrating on the divine gifts-- LAURA: This is hard, because he gives me power.

MATT: -- that are granted to you by The Traveler, (laughter) you beseech him to take your vision to show you The Traveler. As you sit there and complete your incantation, all you hear in your ear is, "Curious."

LAURA: Oh shit. I wasn't really thinking about that one.

MATT: "No, you were not."

LAURA: Look, okay, here's the thing.

MATT: That's all you hear.

(laughter)

MARISHA: He just hang up on your ass.

LAURA: I just lay down on the crow's nest and take a nap.

TRAVIS: On the bloody pillows?

LAURA: I'm going to flip them over, the bloody side down.

MATT: There you go.

TALIESIN: Unlocked his phone and--

LIAM: Are you purple with the sunburn when you wake up?

MATT: All right, so the rest of the day progresses uneventful to the night. The same preparations are made to rest safely.

TALIESIN: I'm going to add one more to it, actually. This is something that I have seen before, but I've never tried, but I thought it might help you sleep a little better. I take my staff and concentrate for a second, say a couple words, tap it on the ground, and cast Guardian of Faith, which is the spectral suit of armor with a shield with the emblem of the earth, of the earth mother out here and then and a giant sword and it just crystal for where the head should be, just a big amethyst crystal-- appears right by your bed.

SAM: What does that do?

TALIESIN: It'll stay there till the morning and if anything comes within its very impressive reach, it'll just start dealing with it.

TRAVIS: That's very thoughtful. Thank you, Caduceus, conducive. (chuckles) Sort of distracted by the jewel face.

TALIESIN: The Wildmother is-- yeah. Yeah, I haven't seen this done in quite a while.

TRAVIS: That's cool, okay, thank you.

TALIESIN: Just for for now while we're on the boat.

MATT: All righty.

TRAVIS: You'll be able to sleep?

TALIESIN: Oh yeah, that's fine, it'll just stay there.

TRAVIS: Strange.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: So we got dome, we got an alarm, we got a crystal head, we got monkey in the rigging.

LIAM: Yeah. Come at us, fish men.

LAURA: With Jester up in the crow's nest because I'm still asleep in the crow's nest.

MATT: Yeah, Jester was the only one who's unprotected.

MARISHA: I go outside.

LIAM: We would see that.

MARISHA: And just like, look up and look around check see if I see her.

MATT: Yeah, I mean, eventually you discern that if Jester's missing from everywhere else in the ship.

TRAVIS: Just a tiefling tail hanging over the side.

MATT: Yep, just curling, uncurling. Yeah.

MARISHA: Jes! Jessie, are you asleep?

LAURA: Wow.

MARISHA: Don't roll out of bed. LAURA: How long was I? What time is it?

MARISHA: Ah, Caleb would know. He's not here, but we're getting ready to go to bed. Do you want to come to bed? Are you going to stay up there?

LAURA: Well, I just was sleeping.

MARISHA: Are you super awake now?

LAURA: No, I'm still tired. I'm going to come down and go to bed.

MARISHA: Okay. Be careful, it's dark. Don't trip on your tail.

LAURA: Oh, my skin hurts.

MARISHA: You have a sunburn? Oh, wow, it's weird, you get, like, a little purple-ish when you get a sunburn. Oh, it's super cute. I mean, it's deadly. You could get sick from that.

LAURA: It's bad for you, right?

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: You know most tieflings can't get sunburns because we're resistant to fire.

MARISHA: Interesting.

LAURA: But I'm not.

MARISHA: Because you're blue and not red?

LAURA: I think it's because my dad--

MARISHA: Water, sweaty. Yeah. Well, you look good with little purple. It's nice.

LAURA: Thanks.

MARISHA: You look healthy.

LAURA: Oh, thank you.

MARISHA: Okay, we should go to bed.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay. First off, I do have the winner.

SAM: Oh!

LAURA: Eyy!

MATT: A little delayed there.

TRAVIS: The winner is called-- sabotage!

TALIESIN: Meanwhile you dream of a winner.

MATT: It's all me. I had it on airplane mode and figured the text would come through via the internet WiFi and it did not. But the winner is Lady Lucara, Lady Lucara, congratulations. We'll get that sent to you ASAP.

SAM: Congrats.

MATT: So coming into the eighth day of your journey, you're not too far from your destination. The wind is picking up, however, in the morning it is colder, a bit of marine layer has curled in, but the wind is blowing in your favor which does help you catch a little bit of ground throughout the day. Unless there's anything else you would want to attempt on this day, we will continue onto the next, as not every day of this journey is eventful. Very well.

TALIESIN: We're good.

MATT: Continue on to the ninth day. And on the 10th day on the horizon, you begin to see a number of small shadows appear. As you grow closer, they are ships. As you grow closer, it's pretty easy to tell this here before you is the Kryn Dynasty armada, about a dozen or so vessels out there, nearly all made of familiar purple wood with gold detailing hoisting gray sails that carry the familiar symbol of the Dynasty. Within a certain radius, you can see the sky suddenly takes a midnight hue.

TRAVIS: Oh, we'll bring that shit with them.

MATT: As the armada you're with grows closer, at a certain point you fall under this veil and the sun vanishes. Though it may be, we'll say, two o'clock in the afternoon, it becomes pure midnight where you sail.

LIAM: From-- on all sides of us at this point?

MATT: On all sides of you. You pass through and eventually just the sky is enveloped. You hear gasps and whispers throughout the crew. You can see a mirrored formation of ships on their end and it begins to break at the front as the Blue Heaven comes to the front line of the armada. On the opposing side, you can see a main Kryn ship begin to approach as well. What was once two oval like armadas as far as formation goes, break into two triangles, flat end to flat end, as they tend to merge and meet each other in a guarded stalemate of military positioning. The two lead ships come into contact. You then watch as the lead Kryn ship that has approached. Which, let's see here, the passive perception here, Caduceus would probably be the one to notice it. You do not know Undercommon, do you?

TALIESIN: I do not know Undercommon, no.

MATT: You recognize that the ship has script on it, but you cannot read it.

TALIESIN: No idea.

MATT: But approaches the Blue Heaven, they both drop anchor right against each other as they coast close. Now with them side to side, plank walkways are set up between the two of them and the stage of the negotiation is being set.

SAM: How far away are we?

MATT: You guys are, at this point, probably 800 or so feet back

TRAVIS: 800?

MATT: Mm-hmm, closing in as the formation begins to tighten.

MARISHA: I speak Undercommon?

MATT: You do.

MARISHA: But I don't see anything?

MATT: You're not quite close enough yet to see the ship.

MARISHA: Okay.

SAM: Captain Tusktooth, cannons are loaded and aimed at the ships.

TRAVIS: Which ships, because they're right next to each other?

SAM: Yeah, both.

TRAVIS: You're prepared to take out both vessels?

SAM: If need be, sir.

TRAVIS: You are excellent at your job. Stand fast, stay ready.

SAM: Aye aye, captain.

TRAVIS: Oh god, we're going to get him killed, okay. MATT: All right. All right. You can see now between these two ships, Lord Zeddan Graf approaches and begins to meet with Kryn dignitaries and the opposing side, led on there and by the Dusk Captain, who you've recognized previously as the hand of the Bright Queen. Elite soldiers lead both sides, the Wind of Aeons approaches, but it does not get immediately close, it doesn't need to. You can see the conversations begin to ensue. And eventually, a flag goes up on the mast of each ship signifying the beginning of these negotiations.

LAURA: Do we have a looking glass on our ship?

MARISHA: I have a looking glass.

LAURA: Let's look at what they're doing.

MARISHA: I bust out the looking glass.

SAM: I have a magnifying glass, I can make it even more powerful.

MARISHA: No, you'll burn your retinas. Don't do that.

TALIESIN: We've got an eclipse, you don't want to do that.

MARISHA: I pull it out and I pass it around to everybody do the binoculars at a stadium thing.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Orly has one as well so I'll share his.

MATT: Okay. With that and the proximity as the armada tightens in, you do recognize the name of the ship that is affixed to the Blue Heaven, is the Vin-Radethak, which is Undercommon for The Everstorm.

MARISHA and SAM: The Everstorm?

LAURA: That's cool.

MARISHA: That's dope.

LIAM: Vin-Radethak.

MATT: At this point, you can see all the ships the Righteous Brand soldiers are now coming to the decks as a show of power. On the opposite end, you can see Aurora Watch soldiers are coming to the decks as well and there's very much a just a display of--

TRAVIS: Might.

MATT: -- tense might on both sides holding the line as the two center ships become the core of what is to transpire.

TRAVIS: Play nice, play nice.

MARISHA: How close are we in in terms of, like, is there a rough feet?

MATT: When the ship comes to a stop, you're about 500 feet from them.

MARISHA: And there's no way we can get closer?

MATT: You could if you want to tell Orly or the captain wants to push ahead.

LIAM: Yeah, I think we do.

SAM: Captain.

MARISHA: What do you say? Maybe get closer?

TRAVIS: What are the other ships doing?

SAM: We just maybe circle?

TRAVIS: Is there, like, a--

MATT: There is a formation.

TRAVIS: A halo, like, a distance that--

MATT: Yeah, they're keeping their distance from the ship. And there is a network. They've all hit a formation around it, which is what your ship is currently maintaining is the following the formation of other ships around, you can break it if you want to.

TRAVIS: And just for a visual idea if they're in the middle, are the ships maintaining a clockwork pattern around it?

MATT: Partially. There are almost two sides. If you're seeing, it is a loop around the two ships in the center. It's two halves of the circle are where the two armadas came together.

TRAVIS: And they're stopping, it's not constant movement?

MATT: Correct.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: They're all stopping and currently holding their position.

TRAVIS: No.

LAURA: How far out are we from their ship?

MATT: About 500 feet.

TRAVIS: Our range, so you know, is about 480, so we would have to pick up and move if we wanted to fire from a distance, but if we move, so will they. We really shouldn't do anything unless we have to.

SAM: Get me 20 feet closer.

TRAVIS: Veth, just so you know. If shit goes down, I want you to pack the good powder. Are we clear?

SAM: Yes?

(laughter)

TRAVIS: That is a thing that you can do as the master gunner.

SAM: Pack in the good powder.

TRAVIS: Yep. You remember what that means, right?

ASHLEY: I feel like I know what it means.

SAM: Yep.

ASHLEY: I don't have a job on the ship yet, but I feel like I know what it means.

TRAVIS: I feel like you should maybe stick with Veth and just, you know, oversee--

ASHLEY: Pack the good powder?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I'll help you.

SAM: I'm the powder monkey, though. So what's Yasha?

TRAVIS: You can teach Yasha what that means.

SAM: Co-monkeys?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Co-monkeys? Cool.

SAM: Yep. All right.

MARISHA: Is Frumpkin still a monkey? Is there a trio of monkeys?

SAM: Yep.

TALIESIN: Can you actually teach a monkey to be a powder monkey or is that?

SAM: We'll find out.

LIAM: Mine can.

ASHLEY: It's like co-jaegering--

LAURA: I'm watching through the looking glass while everyone's talking.

MATT: All right. As you watch, you can see other figures that appear to be members of higher noble station joining in flanking the sides of the Dusk Captain. You can see Ludinus is now joining the right hand shoulder of Lord Zeddan Graf.

LAURA: Oh, Ludinus is there. I'm just letting everyone know.

MATT: You got it.

TRAVIS: With my spyglass, of that circle--

TALIESIN: We have two?

TRAVIS: Knowing that they're in the middle--

SAM: Oh, pack the good powder, it's right here!

TRAVIS: Let's say it's a clock. Are we at three o'clock, six, nine o'clock? Are we on the left or right of that meeting area?

MATT: If you're looking, if the division line between them is the three o'clock to nine o'clock, upper part is the Kryn dynasty, and we'll say the bottom half is the Empire and the Clovis Concord. You guys would be at the five o'clock.

TRAVIS: We are fucking back there, aren't we? Okay. At the nine o'clock and three o'clock positions, can I just check to see what the Dynasty side ships look like they're doing? Can I check their port holes, can I check their decks? Are they armed? Are they more for show?

MATT: They're all armed. You can see they all have, much like all your ships, so weapons are on display the gun holds are down. There's definitely a, this is a peace talk, but everyone's also making sure that the other side knows that they're ready to defend if anything goes poorly. Very much this tense, neutral ground with the outside threat of any foul play, we'll attack.

TRAVIS: Last question, are there any ships, in just a scan across, knowing that the vision is limited, are there any ships that are empty of crew on top of the deck?

MATT: Currently, no.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: They all have crew or they have, almost every deck has soldiers on it except for yours. Everyone else is approved armada and has a military presence on the deck as well as crew members.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: Everything's out for show right now. Weirdly enough, a figure steps up from below your deck. You see a what looks to be an elven figure with blond hair. This is Lord Dezran. This is Essek in his illusory form.

TRAVIS: Ah.

LAURA: Is he with us?

MATT: Yeah, steps up from below your deck.

TALIESIN: Hey.

LAURA: When did you get here?

MATT: "I arrived but a few moments ago."

MARISHA: Why do people keep bamfing onto our ship without permission?

SAM: We do that a lot to other people.

MARISHA: You're not wrong, it's fair.

LAURA: It's good to see you.

MATT: "You as well. It is best that I am nowhere near these negotiations. The Martinet has the beacon's transference handled. I'm just here to be watchful."

LAURA: Will they know it's you? Like will the people on the other side--

MATT: "There are many wards placed around the proximity of this negotiation, I'm certain, so I would not wish to put myself in a precarious situation. I figured this was the safest place to be. If you don't mind."

TALIESIN: Borrow that spyglass for a little bit.

TRAVIS: Of course.

TALIESIN: I'm going to keep an eye. I want to slowly pan through the other ships, not the two main ones. I just want to look for anything unusual or anybody.

MATT: Okay. Roll a perception check for me.

TALIESIN: Just in general. 21.

MATT: 21, okay, looking around, you can see there are all forms of deck side ballista that are armed, but not aimed yet. You can see, at the front of some ships, there are figures that appear to be, at least, magic practitioners on display. Everyone is fully armored and just at the ready.

TALIESIN: Right.

MATT: You do not see any sort of funny business at the moment.

TALIESIN: No funny business, all right.

MATT: But everyone's as tense as you'd expect, given the circumstances.

LIAM: May I?

TALIESIN: Oh, yeah, yeah.

LIAM: I want to see who is standing and representing for the Empire on their ship.

MATT: Okay, you see the Dusk Captain is the primary conversant, the two figures to the right and left of her, you do not recognize. But they are they're both drow. And they're conversing back and forth. You can now see, at this point, soldiers are bringing up, from two opposite sides, looks like large metallic boards and then you realize they're mirrors. A mirror placed on one ship and a mirror on the other.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Upon this center space between the two where this heavy gangplank has been assembled slowly over a period of an hour or so, there is now an open walkway, like a 20 by 20 foot portion of solid deck between these two ships and mirrors are placed there along with the chairs and this is where the discussion is to happen.

SAM: Chairs.

TRAVIS: Caleb, what form is Frumpkin in right now?

LIAM: He's a monkey.

MATT: At this distance, you can begin to see now the mirrors begin to shimmer. And from the perspective that you have, you cannot quite see the one that's facing away from your ship, but the one that's facing this direction, you gather with a couple of glances and the angle that you're at: You can see the Bright Queen, her visage appearing on the other mirror.

LIAM: I feel like we should be there.

MARISHA: I know. Do a few of us need to get closer? We've got Water Breathing.

TALIESIN: I don't know if we should.

LAURA: They've got a lot of wards, you know.

TALIESIN: Yeah and if we get, if we even rattle that, the whole thing falls apart. Let's just see if it crows on its own.

MATT: "Do not think you are the only ship keeping a very close eye on every other ship on this armada."

TRAVIS: Plus, it's 500 feet. You'd be trapped in the middle take you too long to get there and if something happened, you'd be stuck.

MATT: "Do as you will, but--"

SAM: I can just walk over there.

LAURA: Yeah, that would go well.

SAM: I can be invisible.

TRAVIS: The only problem really not looking at--

LAURA: They have wards, they would know that there was not really, you know, they would be able to see you.

ASHLEY: They'd probably be able to see.

TRAVIS: I think the only thing that's not being watched is beneath us. That's it. I don't know how to remedy that. I think we're here for the show.

SAM: By the way, Captain, Yasha reminded me what "pack the good powder" means. I think we're all set.

TRAVIS: Oh, you reminded Yasha of what they--

SAM: No, Yasha reminded me.

TRAVIS: Oh, okay.

SAM: So we're all good.

TRAVIS: Is the good powder packed, Master Gunner? Did you--

ASHLEY: The powder is packed--

SAM: Co-monkey, co-monkey reports a fine packing.

TRAVIS: Of the good powder?

SAM: Of the good powder.

ASHLEY: And they have been-- each of the wads have been prepped.

MARISHA: Wow. Yeah, what the fuck, Veth?

SAM: She's a natural.

MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: She's a killing machine over there.

TRAVIS: Yasha, do you have extensive experience on the water?

ASHLEY: No. (laughter) I do not.

SAM: She didn't have harp experience, either.

LAURA: She's just good.

SAM: She's just good, she's a fast learner.

LAURA: She picks things up, you know.

ASHLEY: I do it, yeah, I have experienced packing.

TALIESIN: You do pack, you're very good at packing.

ASHLEY: Definitely packing, yeah.

SAM: She learned how to knit while we've been sailing in the last three days.

TRAVIS: Any other languages?

ASHLEY: Not yet, but we'll see.

TRAVIS: Nein!

TALIESIN: Pig Common.

MARISHA: (laughs) Pig Common.

TRAVIS: About what time is it?

MATT: At this point, it's, well, it's hard to tell. It's just perpetual midnight where you currently stand.

LIAM: But if remember every hour of the day leading up to this moment?

MATT: Correct, you keeping tabs on it. At this point, I'd say, as time progresses into the afternoon, these negotiation talks go on for a few hours. Lanterns are lit across the decks of the ships to give this still slightly swaying with the waves firefly light-type look across both armadas as they meet on that edge.

TRAVIS: Just for color, if a sun was in the sky and the Dynasty fleet came forward does the sun appear in the night sky, but just without light, or does it disappear?

MATT: Currently, looking up, you can see the outline of where the sun would be. But it appears to look like a very dull moon.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: That's so cool.

TALIESIN: I wish I had that.

LAURA: Hey, Essek. I mean, sorry. Should did not call you that?

MATT: "In mixed company, it would not be preferred. Yes, please."

LAURA: Hey. (laughter) Can you scry on them?

MATT: "I would probably say, I would prefer not to."

LAURA: Would they know that you're scrying?

MATT: "They would know they are being scryed upon if they have the right wards, which I have to assume they have every sort of ward present on this for that reason."

LAURA: How do we hear?

MATT: "We don't, we trust--"

LAURA: This is really boring, without knowing what they're saying.

MATT: "Jester."

LAURA: Huh?

MATT: "Welcome to politics."

LAURA: Oh, I hate politics.

TRAVIS: Jester, boring is good. Also, not boring is, with this many people, probably not.

LAURA: That's actually a really a point. (heavy sighing)

MATT: The hours progress until what would probably be early evening. And then at a point, people leave their chairs. The mirrors are taken. And it looks like the negotiations for the day have ended.

MARISHA: For the day.

MATT: There's no signs of completion. There's no movement of any ships.

MARISHA: There's been no handoff of beacons or prisoners?

MATT: Not yet.

TRAVIS: No one said this is a one day thing.

TALIESIN: There's only so much food--

LAURA: How long until Traveler Con?

MATT: You have somewhere from this point in time, I'd say, looking through my details here. Roughly two weeks.

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay, we got time.

MARISHA: And how far away are we from Rumblecusp?

MATT: From your current meeting here, you're about a six to nine day journey, if you go above the Inkclaw Reef or about an eight to 10 day journey on the southern side of the Inkclaw Reef.

MARISHA: Okay, six to nine or eight to 10?

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: All right.

MARISHA: Okay. All right.

MATT: So you've got over two weeks before it happens. You have time.

TRAVIS: We've got about a week for this to conclude.

MATT: Until this runs into that time, yeah.

LIAM: How would you like to send a message to the Bright Queen?

LAURA: Oh, my god, I was thinking about doing that.

SAM: But she's in the middle of a negotiation.

LAURA: No, she just finished, she's not talking. What should I ask her? Be like, "How's it going?"

LIAM: How's it going is the first thing to ask, yeah. Does she feel it's going well? Does she trust that it is going to reach completion smoothly? Just an update.

LAURA: Yeah. I'm sure she's, totally wants to talk to me.

LIAM: No, she does not, but I think it's a good idea.

LAURA: I'm going to send a message to her.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Sure.

(laughter)

LAURA: Oh, we took a long rest.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

MATT: You did the night before, yeah.

LIAM: Oh, we took a long rest.

LAURA: Oh, we took a long rest.

MATT: You're right.

LAURA: I'm going to send a message to the Bright Queen. Oh my gosh, I could see you in the mirror. You looked so beautiful. What were you guys saying? Did it go well? Are you happy?

MATT: "I am in the middle of a discussion, but I will respond that things are progressing as expected. Not poorly yet."

LAURA: She thinks they're going decent. "Not poorly yet," she says.

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: Don't, I do not think she wants me to send another message.

TALIESIN: What does Orly have to do with this?

LAURA: Heh. I don't think that she--

LIAM: We won't push it.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: Maybe one day at a time.

LAURA: Should I send a message to King Dwendal and find out what he thinks?

TRAVIS: Oh my god. How did negotiations fall apart?

(laughter)

LIAM: We didn't have as good a relationship, I feel, with King Dwendal.

LAURA: That's true. What about the Martinet?

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: I'm going to send a message to the Martinet.

TALIESIN: Okay, there we go. Yeah.

LAURA: "Hey, so you were there! Oh my gosh, what happened? What did they say? We're just so curious. I really want to know how?"

(laughter)

MATT: "It seems, things are open to progression in the morrow. The ice has been broken. Nobody's killed each other. I call that a win."

LAURA: He used the good amount of words in the response and he says it was going really good.

MARISHA: Where's not-Essek? Is he still on the boat with us?

MATT: He's still with you guys. He's nervously watching and checking for your responses and stuff.

LAURA: Oh my gosh, not-Essek, are you going to stay on the road with us tonight? Because you can't go any closer, huh? Are you going to sleep here? Or are you going to sleep on our boat?

MATT: "I can probably handle myself, do not worry."

LAURA: Where are you going to sleep?

MATT: "I can return to my tower."

LAURA: Oh, and then just come here tomorrow?

MATT: "Yes."

LAURA: That's pretty cool.

TALIESIN: That is pretty cool. Technically speaking, nobody's sleeping in the captain's quarters.

LAURA: Well, we have our Fjord decoy.

TALIESIN: That's fair, there's a dummy in there. Oh, yeah. No, never mind.

MATT: "Very strange, but okay."

LAURA: Essek. (whispered) Should I tell him?

SAM: What?

LAURA: Never mind, go to your tower.

TALIESIN: He doesn't know about that yet. It's one problem at a time.

LIAM: We have a lot of irons in the fire.

MATT: "I can only imagine."

LAURA: Hey, when you come here tomorrow, will you bring some, like, pastries because you'll be-- you'll, like-- something good? Will you bring us a present?

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

TRAVIS: ♪ Something good-- ♪

(chuckling)

LAURA: Aw!

(laughter)

ASHLEY: and LAURA: It looked so good.

LAURA: Eight, but you like me, Essek, come on.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Just top it off.

MATT: "Things are a bit tense for me to head to a bakery. But should all things go well, maybe another time. Nonetheless, I will take my leave for the night. Thank you for not throwing me into the water."

LIAM: And you're keeping it together?

MATT: "As well as expected."

LIAM: Okay.

MARISHA: You're going to bamf in tomorrow?

MATT: "I feel safer being closer to the information, just not close enough."

MARISHA: Yeah, that tracks.

MATT: "Anyway." (imitating whooshing) And he's gone.

SAM: Counterspell.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: This usually works.

MATT: That'd be really funny. But he is gone.

MARISHA: Huh.

LIAM: (repeated spellcasting whooshing)

MATT: But, yeah, evening's rest comes to you guys, if there's anything you want to discuss, you can, otherwise we will continue on for next morning.

TALIESIN: Going to bed early.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: All the protections, all the protections.

MATT: You got it. All the same setup, guardians and such.

TALIESIN: Crystal heads.

LIAM: Crystal heads. This boat has got everything.

LAURA: I'm going to send a message to Essek.

SAM: Jesus.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: You have, like, assistants! Like, send one of your guys out and then just have them come back and then you can have it in the morning for us.

LIAM: Ask him if he has any paper.

LAURA: What a good breakfast that would be. Bup, bup.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Bless you.

SAM: Excuse me.

MATT: "I'm trying to sleep, Jester. There is no bakery open at the moment. My sincerest apologies."

LAURA: Being on the water is lame.

MATT: Not a lot of seaside bakeries out there floating, sorry.

MARISHA: He's a war criminal, you know. What are you going to do with him?

SAM: After we fix the war, then we'll punish him.

MARISHA: I don't trust him.

SAM: Of course not, that's why we'll punish him.

TALIESIN: He could bring baked goods, I agree.

LAURA: Maybe if he brings some baked goods, then we will punish him less.

SAM: One year off his sentence.

LAURA: Sure, for every pastry.

LIAM: There's plenty of people in your own nation to be furious at.

SAM: Sure, yeah, we should get them, too.

MARISHA: What are you talking about? What are you saying?

LIAM: I'm saying she has a lot of vitriol for Essek and that is understandable. But there is just as much fault in our own country.

SAM: Oh, yes, no, I think the order should be punishing everyone in the Empire first. Because we're going to become a team of ninjas that just does that for a while.

MARISHA: Yeah, and it's not a pissing contest of evil or who's the bigger war criminal.

SAM: And then after all of the Empire folks have been punished and killed by us, team of ninjas. Then we will punish Essek or at least see that he gets some sort of-- I don't know know. He has to, there has to be some sort of... We can't just let it go.

MARISHA: Justice.

SAM: Yeah.

LIAM: Add him to the list.

SAM: He can be at the end.

TALIESIN: We'll be at the end.

TRAVIS: I'm going down--

LAURA: (chuckles)

TRAVIS: -- below decks.

SAM: Sure, sure.

LIAM: Actually, I'll leave the deck late. On my own.

LAURA: I'll go to sleep.

MARISHA: Sleep.

MATT: All right, everyone's going to sleep. The night goes on quietly and the morning comes as dark as it left you. As you all come to consciousness, have your morning meal as flavorful as it possibly can be, with Caduceus as--

TALIESIN: I'm going to try and bake. I'm trying to bake.

SAM: Wake and bake.

MATT: Okay. (laughter) Try and bake.

LIAM: Wake and bake.

TRAVIS: On the ship?

TALIESIN: Yep. There's a mess, I'm going to do my best.

MATT: Okay, go ahead. Go ahead and roll intelligence check for me.

TALIESIN: Oh, awesome.

LAURA: Oh no.

TALIESIN: That's the best because I'm so intelligent. That's a 14.

LAURA: Oh, that's not bad.

LIAM: Pretty good.

MATT: Not bad. With the sort of spell craft you have at your disposal the materials that you've already brought along with you. You manage to pull out some, they're technically baked. What are you making?

MARISHA: "Technically baked?"

TALIESIN: Well, I'm attempting to make, like, a cake. But a healthy cake. I mean, with what, you know, we're not crazy people.

LAURA: Like a mushroom cake?

TALIESIN: It's not a mushroom cake, it's more of attempting a truffle cake, but, you know, we'll see what comes together.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Truffles are mushrooms.

TALIESIN: I know. (laughter) I don't know much to know that. I don't think I have chocolate, so I'm finding what I can and throwing something together it's going to be okay.

MATT: This is the-- you succeed in creating what you set out to create and as you all come to, you are met with the curious smell of something baked on the sea by Caduceus. For Caduceus and the rest of you.

MARISHA: I try it.

LAURA: Caduceus!

MARISHA: Is it good?

TALIESIN: It's adequate.

MARISHA: Yeah, do I feel poisoned? Do I feel?

MATT: You do not, you are immune to poison.

MARISHA: Well, can I recognize?

MATT: It's not poisonous.

MARISHA: It's not poisoned.

TALIESIN: To you. (laughter) Remember the last of that psychotropic fruit that I've just been holding onto?

LAURA: No.

LIAM: Instant diarrhea.

TALIESIN: We're all going to find our best selves. It's going to be great.

MATT: It's a bit dry, it's a bit crumbly. It's sweet enough that, compared to a lot of the rest of the high seas, flavorless food you've gotten used to, it has something to it that is different and unique and a little sweet.

LAURA: Perfect. Thank you, Caduceus.

TALIESIN: No problem. I'll get better at this.

LAURA: No, you don't need to--

TALIESIN: I'm excited.

LAURA: This is the best thing I've ever tasted.

TALIESIN: I mean, I'm excited to learn. This is good.

ASHLEY: It's very tasty.

MATT: Requires a lot of water to drink with it, though.

TALIESIN: Yeah, it's real dry.

MATT: The negotiations begin once more. The deck is filled with all the figures. The ships are once again populated with a show of power as the two sides continue conversations. Another hour and a half continues. Essek, in his illusory self, appears once more on the deck. "I hope I had not missed anything."

SAM: Literally nothing has happened.

MATT: "Wonderful, wonderful."

LAURA: They've just been talking.

MATT: A moment passes as you're having this conversation where you see there's a mild flash at the location of this discussion.

SAM: Oh.

LAURA: Looking glass, looking glass.

MATT: You look over and you can see a lot of the ships suddenly grow tense and people begin doing the same everyone is looking over and you see Ludinus opening a chest.

MARISHA: Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

SAM: That's good.

MARISHA: This is it, this is it.

MATT: You see the beacon is removed from it.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: Ludinus hands it over to Lord Zeddan Graf, who takes it.

TRAVIS: I'm so nervous right now.

MARISHA: I know, me too.

MATT: Steps forward and presents it to the Dusk Captain. She steps forward and takes it, there's a moment where they both hold the handles together looking directly into each other's eyes wordlessly. Lord Graf's expression is smiles, confident, charismatic. The Dusk Captain is cold and reading. Eventually, he lets go. She takes two steps back and hands it to one of the other Kryn at her side and they begin to do a thorough investigation of it. While she does not break eyes with the Lord Graf.

SAM: Why me?

MATT: Because you're right there and it's in front of you.

SAM: (fake sobbing)

MATT: Tense moments continue until eventually, it seems they finish their investigation and they begin walking the beacon below the deck of the Everstorm. More conversations continue as they sit back down in their chairs in the mirrors are having this conversation. Then you watch as two figures are brought to the decks in chains.

LAURA: Those are the prisoners.

MATT: You see one of them, a familiar visage of the Taskhand Adeen Tasithar.

MARISHA: Adeen Mazel.

LIAM and MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Adele Dazeem.

LIAM: (coughing) Get it right.

ASHLEY: Get the wrong name right.

MATT: And coming up on the Blue Heaven in chains as well. Vence Nuthaleus. Two figures are brought to the center and they're both traded off, the chains given to the other and they are then brought to the opposing ships and brought below deck.

LAURA: Essek, did you ever talk to him? Did you hang out with him?

MATT: "We once knew each other for a while.

LAURA: Does he suck?

MATT: "That is a word, yes."

LAURA: Okay, he looks like he sucks.

MARISHA: How does it feel seeing him in chains and not you?

MATT: "Honestly? Freeing."

SAM: Looks like things are going well.

MATT: You hear a horn go off.

LAURA: (pathetic horn imitation)

MATT: (low horn imitation) It's everything.

TRAVIS: Is it?

MATT: Sure.

TRAVIS: It's all about growth, right?

MATT: It's low guttural. Yeah. I hate you all so much.

(laughter) (various pathetic horn imitations) (laughter)

LIAM: It'll pass, Matt. Just give us two minutes, it'll pass.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Anyway, that was a good one, though.

TRAVIS: Guys, I don't want to fight a fucking sea dragon.

LAURA: No, no, no, no.

MATT: Okay. (laughter) So as the horn blares, everyone stands to attention at the edge of the boat decks. And you watch as the initial flags that were placed at the beginning of this negotiation that signified its start, come down and are replaced with new flags. These, you can see, hold a deep blue color and on a political nautical standpoint, you're told by Orly, as he looks over and turns back, "Mm. Seems it's all's gone well. It came to a close." You can see as skiffs beginning to make their way away from the Blue Heaven. And people on those ships are shouting up to decks as they pass by. You can see the mirrors being brought away and below deck and that platform between the two ships is being deconstructed. As the skiff comes close, you could hear the voice shouting out. "Negotiations have completed and King Dwendal has declared the war come to a close. All armada ships return to Nicodranas. Guest vessels are free to disembark and travel as they please."

SAM: Thank you. Do we tip? I don't think we tip.

TALIESIN: We wait.

LIAM: Waiting and watching still.

MATT: Time passes as the remnants of that platform are finally disassembled. The anchors are pulled up. And you can see the two tense groups on each deck just looking towards each other. Give a tense nod. The horns blast once more. And the armadas begin to break and separate to their sides. The sails begin to unfurl once more and pick up the wind. And it seems the negotiations are over.

LAURA: That's it, huh? War's over?

TALIESIN: No.

SAM: Figured there'd be some sort of fireworks or something to signify, but I guess that's it.

LAURA: Hey, guys, we did it.

SAM: We won. LAURA: Yeah. Good job.

TRAVIS: Doesn't really feel that way though, does it?

LIAM: Really expected--

LAURA: Them to fight?

LIAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Something to go wrong at the last minute, with our luck.

TALIESIN: Well.

LIAM: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Sometimes, no matter how hard everybody tries, everything quiets down for a while.

MATT: (as Essek "Outwardly, at least."

TALIESIN: For a moment people won't get hurt.

LAURA: Do you think it'll really end?

TALIESIN: Nothing like this ends, it just calms down.

MATT: "I think this will help pull eyes away from whatever next tense endeavor both sides are attempting to beat the other towards. The war may have come to a close, but their business continues on. It has for a long time."

TRAVIS: Where will you go now?

MATT: "Well, I have to take care of a few loose ends and ensure that all of this can be laid to rest."

MARISHA: What are their names?

MATT: "It's not 'their' names, they're not people. I just have some business to attend to. And then maybe I could take a breath for the first time in months. And if you're interested, we could still do good things together."

SAM: Very interested.

LAURA: Yeah, just, you know, send a message.

LIAM: Yeah, I think we need to let this settle.

MATT: "That we do. Just hope everyone's travels home safe."

LAURA: Well, we're heading to a volcano.

MARISHA: What does that mean? What did that mean? Insight check.

SAM: Insight check.

MATT: Make an insight check, go for it.

LIAM: He's made of chairs.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: It's chairs all the way through.

TRAVIS: (groaning) Oh shit.

MARISHA: Pooper muffin. 18.

MATT: 18?

SAM: Oh! 18, whisper. It's, like, a half whisper.

MARISHA: It's a halfer.

LIAM: (whispering) He's made of chairs.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Guys, wash your hands, as often as you can. Remember to cover your mouth if you sneeze.

TALIESIN: I've been so bad about that.

LAURA: Cover your nose if you sneeze.

SAM: Try to avoid your hands shaking and hugging

TALIESIN: Got to do the elbow sneeze.

SAM: Or any personal contact that's unneeded or necessary.

LIAM: Don't enjoy each other's company.

SAM: No fun. If you have a wife or a loved one or a husband, or don't kiss them or touch them in any way.

TRAVIS: No, that's not--

SAM: That's what they recommend.

TALIESIN: You overread.

LIAM: Cut them out of your life. Don't do any of that.

MATT: "Whenever you finish what you're doing, just let me know. We can talk in a more safe environment about the tangled web that all of these people have built."

MARISHA: These people?

MATT: "These--"

LIAM: Seems like you've spun a thread or two yourself, Essek.

MARISHA: Yep, a little humdinger, you did.

MATT: "I do not exclude myself from these statements."

LIAM: Well, we have our peace, so. Happy days.

MATT: "Happy days. Until then."

LAURA: Send cupcakes.

MATT: (whooshing)

LIAM: And Counterspell.

(laughter) (thudding)

SAM: Fuck.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Nope.

LAURA: Oh shit, I have some cupcakes, we should eat them before they go bad.

SAM: You've had them for, like, weeks now.

LAURA: Well, just a week.

TRAVIS: I think they're probably already bad.

LAURA: I've had them for, like, a week.

TRAVIS: Do they put preservatives in your cupcakes?

SAM: If you heat them up a little, they still taste good.

LAURA: Do they look good? Do they look like they're not moldy yet?

TRAVIS: Week old, non preservative.

LAURA: They're a week old. That's a week old in a bag of holding, in a haversack.

TRAVIS: It's a fantasy world, rules still apply.

MATT: They look quite stale.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: And starting to show a little bit of white dust on the edges.

LAURA: You cut it off.

TRAVIS: I know that white dust.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Can I or can't I? (chuckles)

MATT: Yep it's on the cusp. You can cut away and go for it.

LAURA: Yeah, I'm going to cut just around the dust and try--

MATT: Okay, it's very dry, very stale, but functionally edible.

TALIESIN: I cast Decompose on the trunk with a dust.

MATT: It is immediately covered in gray fuzz.

TALIESIN: (poofing)

ASHLEY: (poofing)

LAURA: It's pretty cool.

TALIESIN: Yeah. (chuckles)

MATT: You just want that? (poofing)

SAM and ASHLEY: (poofing)

MATT: There you go.

ASHLEY: I'm going to keep trying it until I get it.

MATT: I believe in you, Ashley.

ASHLEY: Thank you.

LAURA: Wow. That was, like, I didn't expect it to really happen. What do we do now? like do we just go and--

SAM: Go to volcano and party until we drink our faces off.

TRAVIS: We got to make sure it's, you know, clear the area make sure it's secure, you know.

LIAM: Yeah, we wait a day.

TRAVIS: Assign the landing area, prep.

TALIESIN: I mean, can we even see any of the ships any more?

LAURA: Yeah, they all left. Yeah, they all sailing away are they, are they gone out over the horizon or?

LIAM: What is the occasion?

MATT: They're leaving.

SAM: Okay.

MARISHA: I mean, I think we ended war amongst our people. Maybe for time being.

LIAM: Maybe.

MARISHA: Do I need an occasion to hug you?

LIAM: No. No.

LAURA: Oh you're going in again, do it again.

MARISHA: Yeah, well, with this one I want him to, like, reciprocate, though.

SAM: He's not a reciprocating hugger.

LAURA: Look at them he's doing, he's going to do it. He's going to do it.

SAM: Ooh, it's awkward.

LAURA: Put that arm around her, give her a big hug.

TRAVIS: It's a Voldemort hug.

SAM: (howling) It's sort of okay.

MATT: (laughs)

SAM: It's like when he dances.

LAURA: He doesn't look like he's frowning quite as much.

LIAM: I just hope it sticks.

MARISHA: Yeah, me tot.

LAURA: All the coronavirus that you just spread between the two of you.

LIAM: We've been doing that for a week and a half.

ALL: Ugh!

SAM: Purell your faces!

MATT: I can hear the stubble grinding the flesh off of you.

MARISHA: My grandpa used to do that to me as a joke.

LIAM: Burn the Marisha off of me.

(laughter)

MATT: Careful, fire top and (whooshing). All righty.

SAM: Tusktooth, are we setting sail for the volcano?

TRAVIS: I believe so. I mean, time is on our side. We don't know what the weather will be, Master Gunner, I believe ♪ if we want to enjoy this voyage. ♪

LIAM: ♪ Agony! ♪

TRAVIS: I think north of the Inkclaw Reef is probably the fastest way.

LAURA: Is it more dangerous to go that way or something?

TRAVIS: Orly, is there any advantage to go into the south side of the Urukayxl area?

MATT: "Hmm. As far as I understand, the only real benefit is avoiding main sailing lanes. M-m-maybe try to not stick so close to dangerous coastal denizens. But we are armed."

TRAVIS: That's true, and we do need a little bit of excitement after that political soiree. Take us south of Urukayxl and of the Inkclaw Reef. Let's make our way towards Rumblecusp.

MARISHA: (yelling) Make our way towards Rumblecusp.

TALIESIN: Wow, wow right in my ears.

MARISHA: The captain has declared--

MATT: "Aye, aye, Captain."

MARISHA: We are going to south of--

TALIESIN: Wow.

SAM: Rumblecusp.

MARISHA: Hoist the anchors!

MATT: "Aye aye."

MARISHA: Drop the sails! Captain Tusktooth has declared.

(laughter)

MATT: You see Marius LePual goes.

MARISHA: Fuck you, Marius.

MATT: "What, hmm?" Pulling up the anchor.

LIAM: Ocelot, Big Dipper!

MATT: The sails pick up the wind and you begin heading southward from the meeting location. You watch as the midnight begins to subside as it travels with the armada. And the bright noonday sun blares down upon you. It takes moment to adjust, but the warmth is welcome.

LAURA: Why wouldn't they just, you know, I mean, do you think they just teleported away with the beacon, went straight back home, they wouldn't take it on the ship, right?

SAM: No, I don't think so.

LAURA: That'd be dumb.

LIAM: They would be risking it at sea.

MATT: As the armada, between the joined interests of the Dwendalian Empire and the Menagerie Coast make their way westward. You break away from both factions as you see them vanish on the horizon, along with the southern tip of the continent of Wildemount. You can just barely see westward, elements of the island of Urukayxl is this distant little bump. And you continue southward for the day, for a second day. For a third day, making your way around the southern edge of the Inkclaw Reef, making sure, carefully, with the aid of Orly, and the map that you have there to avoid any of the dangerous elements of the reef's tops and you can see there are areas where it breaks the surface and you use those to guide yourself and not get too close to what would be a very damaging experience across the razor-like reef. It's about the fourth day or so that-- who's keeping a watch on this one?

TALIESIN: I usually do.

MATT: Okay, make perception check for me.

TALIESIN: All right.

TRAVIS: Yeah,

TALIESIN: 21.

MATT: 21, okay. It's a, (laughter) the fourth day or so--

TALIESIN: I'll remember that.

MATT: -- ff traveling here as you're crossing around the reef and starting to head upward in a northern swing towards Rumblecusp. That you, keeping a watch towards where the back of the ship is. You can see there's a small, like, looks like a piece of land that's breaching the surface of the water. Like a small part of the reef behind, but it's keeping pace.

MARISHA: Oh, son of a bitch.

TALIESIN: Captain, we're being followed by a tiny island.

TRAVIS: I'm sorry. Could you say that again?

TALIESIN: Said we're being followed by a tiny island.

MARISHA: Would I have any recollection--

LAURA: I go back and look at it.

MATT: Okay, you can see it now that Caduceus points it out.

TALIESIN: Tiny island.

ASHLEY: Yeah, it's moving.

MARISHA: I've heard stories about moving tiny islands.

TRAVIS: How--

MATT: Make.

TRAVIS: -- far away?

LIAM: Make a tiny island check.

MATT: Yes, exactly. You're proficient in that, right? I would say go ahead and make a history check with disadvantage.

MARISHA: With disadvantage.

MATT: Fjord, you can make a history check.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MARISHA: Okay. Two 20's.

LAURA: What the heck.

MARISHA: Five year anniversary luck.

LIAM and MARISHA: One is cocked.

LIAM: One's really good, though.

MARISHA: One's really good. Shit.

LIAM: It was the two and then you roll a two again.

MARISHA: Two and a 19.

TRAVIS: 19.

MATT: Both got 19.

MARISHA: Okay, well, mine was a disadvantage. So 10 total for me.

MATT: Okay. Nothing comes to mind and you both watch this, tiny island is gaining and the water around it is starting to rise as it cuts a swath through the waters. As you look over when you're called to the edge and you glance over and you can see it and if you've heard, you've heard tales of certain entities of various types that are spoken of in mythology of people that traverse the waters of the Lucidian Ocean and seas beyond.

TRAVIS: Don't.

MATT: This looks, indeed, like an island. But just below the surface, you can see limbs pushing through the waves. As it continues to grow closer and closer and you meet these thoughts, these myths, these tales that you've heard across the Lucidian Ocean, and the Swavain Islands. You see the snout rise, pointed, the nostrils flare. As you realize you are being chased by a dragon turtle.

TRAVIS: (yelling) No, no! Have you seen what a--

MATT: And that's where we're going to finish the episode.

(screaming)

TRAVIS: I just told somebody in Chicago that it's the monster I want to see and not see at all. Oh no!

TALIESIN: This is going to go great.

ASHLEY: A dragon turtle?

SAM: What does that mean?

TRAVIS: Have you seen a picture of a dragon turtle?

MATT: I'll show you.

MARISHA: It's, like, a giant dragon turtle.

LIAM: It's what it sounds like.

SAM: Is it a dragon or is it a turtle?

LAURA, TALIESIN, LIAM, MARISHA: Yes.

TRAVIS: It is awful, we are fucked.

LIAM: It's big, they're big.

MATT: You guys are fine.

MARISHA: It can house people.

SAM: Inside of it?

MARISHA: On it.

SAM: Oh, it's like an island?

TALIESIN: It's an island.

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah if the island is the tip of the iceberg.

LIAM: Yep. There it is.

ASHLEY and LAURA: Ooh!

MATT: That's a fun one.

TRAVIS: I love you on the five year anniversary. I feel like this was a gift.

MATT: (chuckling) You say that now, wait till next week.

LAURA: If we would have not fucked around so much. We would have fought that today, potentially?

SAM: No, we didn't fuck around.

MATT: You didn't fuck around at all.

SAM: We just watch.

MATT: This was a--

LAURA: I tried to scry on my Traveler.

TRAVIS: If we went north of Urukayxl--

MATT: You wouldn't have come across this.

TALIESIN: I mean, yeah, that was a perfectly reasonable--

TRAVIS: No regerts.

MATT: No regerts.

ALL: No regerts.

MATT: We'll pick up from there next week. (cheering) (clapping) But from there, happy five year anniversary.

(cheering)

LIAM: We love you all.

TRAVIS: My legs can't stop moving.

MARISHA: Empire kids!

LIAM: Yeah! Freeze frame.

MATT: Tenuous peace has been found and nobody fucked it up and I'm really proud of you guys.

LAURA: Look at that.

SAM: We're the best.

MATT: You've set some right pieces in motion--

LIAM: I was waiting for boats to go like this. Mushroom cloud.

MARISHA: Oh, 100%.

MATT: Of course. Of course. Of course.

TRAVIS: Both sides would be like. (groaning)

MATT: And based on a lot of decisions and things that had happened in the past everything was coming to this moment and it seemed to go okay.

LAURA: Wow.

MARISHA: Wow.

SAM: We are the best at D&D.

LAURA: Go team!

MATT: So with that, we'll see you guys next week. Thank you for coming with us for these crazy five years, super excited to see where it goes from here. Take care of yourselves, take care of each other, be safe. Do your research, wash your hands, all this stuff you know.

ASHLEY: Wash your hands immediately.

MATT: We're going to get through this together, guys.

SAM: Wash your stubbly face.

TRAVIS: Gross.

MATT: We love you very much and is it Thursday yet? Good night, guys.

(cheering)

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

(dramatic orchestral music)