Transcript:Trial of the Take: Part 4

List of Transcripts

Pre-Show
MATT: Good evening, everyone, and welcome to tonight’s episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons and Dragons. My name is Matthew Mercer. I am the dungeon master for the show, and we’re excited to have you. A couple of cool things about this, for those who are checking in or aren’t aware of what’s going on: our main party, Vox Machina, has been split for two different trials. We’ll get into that story in a little bit, but because of that, we have some guests playing. This will be the second week of our two fantastic guests, Wil Wheaton and Will Friedle. We’re excited about them. They’re pretty nice. This is the second week of the Wills; we’re excited to have them. Also, do we have any other announcements anyone wants to talk about? Anything crazy coming up?

MARISHA: Speaking of the Wills, just to talk about the first two giveaways that we reached. That’s it. Once it hits the board, it’s done. It’s like the American flag. These are TableTop nail wrap-specific.

WIL: Oh yeah, these are from our friends at Espionage Cosmetics.

MARISHA: Yes, these are Espionage Cosmetics nail wraps, and they’re actual TableTop–

WIL: Yeah, they’re official licensed TableTop merchandise that we made happen. I’m very happy.

MARISHA: So yes. Wear the support on your fingertips.

WIL: I have two announcements. Announcement the first: for the next four hours and 56 minutes, Pacific Time, I am the King of the Internet because I won yesterday on @Midnight.

MATT: Congratulations!

WIL: Also, Hardwick hipped me to this movie that I want everybody to see, so I’m telling everyone I know about it, and I won’t shut up about it. It’s called What We Do in the Shadows. It is a comedy that is a documentary about a group of vampires who live together in a house in Wellington, New Zealand.

MATT: Oh wait, is this the one that has Jemaine Clement in it?

WIL: Yeah.

MATT: Yeah, I’ve heard of this.

WIL: It is one of the most amazing, hilarious, pitch-perfect, well-done genre comedy and horror films I have ever seen. It is a delight, and I want everyone to watch it because I’m afraid it’s not going to get the attention it deserves.

WILL: This is a new movie? This isn’t something from years ago?

WIL: From this year, yeah.

MATT: This episode sponsored by What We Do– no, I’m kidding.

ORION: Tomorrow, Friday, on Gather Your Party, I had a thumbtack comedy buddy, Alex Lewis, and Keith Habersberger–

MATT: That’s not a real name.

ORION: I know. From Buzzfeed. Together, they are Lewberger, and they’re going to be playing here, and I’m going to be doing some songs with them and performing with them, as well. Check it out for Gather Your Party tomorrow. What time is that, sorry Zac?

ZAC: 7:00PM.

ORION: 7:00PM.

MATT: Tomorrow. Wondrous.

LIAM: I would like to announce that I am nervous as shit.

MATT: Why? I can’t imagine why you would be.

WIL: Is it because you’re sitting so close to me that you’re worried that you’re not going to roll anything well tonight?

LIAM: No. I should feel comfortable that you’re going to soak it all up.

WIL: Look, you’re the regular. I’m the guest star. I can die, and it’s fine.

WILL: It’s not fine.

WIL: It doesn’t matter. No, it’ll be dramatic and great. I plan to sacrifice my life for someone in this group who deserves it.

ZAC: Spoilers!

MARISHA: Hopefully you don’t fail at that, too.

ALL: Oh!

WIL: Not for you!

WILL: Wow.

WIL: Not for you. No, not for you!

WILL: It’s a hug-worthy moment. This is a good day.

MARISHA: Only because of the dice, not because of your choices.

WIL: Too late!

LIAM: Come on, guys. Just like we did in rehearsals.

(laughter)

MARISHA: So 826LA, our charity. Everyone should go check them out; they have amazing storefronts in cities all across the country. The one here is themed after time travel in Echo Park. And also in Marina Del Rey; that’s the other city that I’m trying to think of. But yes, a portion of all of our donations go to them, and they’re amazing, so thank you so much. And thank you for everyone who has donated in the past. We love you. And I think we are going to be doing a video. I know I’ve been saying that for a while, but we have a date scheduled now! It is happening. We have a way for everyone to get back in town, but it’s going to happen, and we’re going to have a field trip.

MATT: Yeah, to 826 and deliver all your wonderful donations. Last announcement I have to make. Let’s see. The wonderful folks at Midnight Syndicate– for those who don’t know who they are, they make fantastic music and soundtrack tracks. They’ve done an official DND soundtrack years ago, and they’ve done stuff for World of Darkness and Call of Cthulhu. They do great atmospheric music. They finally got back to me, and they gave me permission to use their songs on this feed, so my playlist expands even further. They’re really cool guys.

MARISHA: How long ago did you send that e-mail?

MATT: That was a while back. It was before we started the stream. But they responded, and they’ve been really cool about it, and if you’re looking for your own soundtrack stuff to work on, they have a great array of stuff. I highly recommend checking out Midnight Syndicate.

WILL: Are you still trying to get Queen, too?

MATT: I’m trying, but Freddie hasn’t returned my e-mails.

WIL: Hey, guys? This is weird. He’s not going to return your emails. No. He’s not a fan.

LIAM: He’s more into Shadowrun.

WIL: He’s really a Shadowrun guy.

MATT: That’s okay, Shadowrun’s cool.

WIL: Very much a Shadowrun guy.

ORION: I played that on Genesis.

LIAM: We need to build bleachers back here. We’ve got this thing.

MATT: We lost Wheaton.

WILL: All right, so now we got a shot!

LIAM: Well, step into camera if you’re going to make such a big to-do. Come in and say hi, and then get out. You already pulled Wil out of the picture.

MATT: Thorbir died really fast tonight. Yay, we got a Laura!

WIL: And by the way, unlike Thorbir, I did not trip over anything or fall down trying to go down one step.

MATT: That’s true.

WIL: Just so we don’t mistake the actor for the character.

MATT: Indeed. There’s a distinction. It is a creative character. No buckets were harmed in the announcement here. All right, so. I think if we’re all ready, let’s go ahead–

WIL: Oh, I don’t have a pencil.

MATT: You don’t have a pencil? I’m going to throw a pencil at you.

WIL: Throw a pencil at me, dungeon master!

MATT: I mean, gingerly hand it to our fantastic overlord, who will deliver it.

MARISHA: Oh, are we going into our intro?

MATT: Yeah, so let’s go ahead and get ready to play ourselves some Critical Role.

[dramatic music]

Part I
MATT: Welcome back. As we left off last time, to give you a little backstory: Vox Machina, put into some sort of legal trouble in the city of Vasselheim, found themselves breaking a contract for a guild called the Slayer’s Take that was essentially a monster hunters’ guild, and all kills near the city of this magnitude required approval. So to make sure they weren’t sent to the seat of judgment to essentially be arrested and/or tried for this infraction they didn’t realize they made, they were given the opportunity to actually join the guild, which they chose to do. However, as part of joining it, they had to go through a small trial, in which the party was split and had to go off to their own smaller contracts. One half had journeyed through with our guests Mary Elizabeth McGlynn and Felicia Day, and they went after a white dragon. They were awesome. Everyone survived, barely. It was pretty rough. And this adventuring party met as the second contract and were given the task to seek out and destroy and harvest pieces from a rakshasa, a demonic entity that stems from the Nine Hells and apparently was somewhere in the city masquerading as the assistant to the owner of the Velvet Cabaret, an establishment for upper-class pleasure-seekers. The party, after essentially forcing this individual to reveal themself, the rakshasa fled through a tunnel underneath its room into a long subterranean tunnel fraught with traps that were set to protect it. The party managed to avoid these rather deftly until the steady decline of the hallway, combined with the increasing moisture and scent of refuse, caused a slick surface, and our fantastic cleric, Brother Kashaw, slipped and fell down. Two party members, Keyleth and Tiberius, decided it’d be a fun time to go slip-n-sliding, joined him at the bottom of the tunnel, where Thorbir and Vax stayed at the top, shaking their heads with frustration. Upon splashing down into what appeared to be some sort of underground cistern or a collection of compost and refuse that had been just rotting food and all kinds of nasty stuff, the party pulled themselves up, nearly waist-deep in this nasty substance. Began to hear skittering and screeching sounds throughout the room– hundreds of small ones– while two large thorny tentacles jettisoned out of this, call it a dung heap if you want, and pulled itself to the surface, with a central body filled with teeth and one giant toothy maw. And that was where we left off. So. In the nature of that, I would like everyone to roll initiative.

WIL: Even those of us that are very quietly walking slowly? Okay.

MATT: You can continue slowly on your turn, if you’d like. That’s entirely up to you.

WILL: Natural 20! Plus two.

MARISHA: Good start.

ORION: I’ll take it. That’s 20 for me.

WIL: Well, I guess that just leaves me, then.

MARISHA: Come on, Wil.

WIL: Two.

(laughter)

MATT: And they’re off!

WILL: We pick up where we left off.

LIAM: We never left.

WILL: MIT is just going, come on.

MATT: As a note, because I forgot, guys. For subs tonight, every hundred subscribers we get, one person in the chat will be chosen to win a signed cast picture and a signed poster of one of our artists, Kit Buss’s wonderful art pieces for Critical Role, signed by us, as well.

MARISHA: And Espionage Cosmetic nail wraps!

MATT: So we got some cool giveaways. Forgot that at the top. Anyway. 20 and up?

WILL: 22.

ORION: 20.

MATT: All right. Ten to 15?

LIAM: 13.

MATT: 13? All right.

WIL: I don’t know if you have numbers low enough. Two.

MATT: Keyleth, what do you have?

MARISHA: Six.

MATT: Six, okay. All right. As the skittering seems to go to a fervored frenzy, you can see masses and masses of extremely matted fur moving and quivering through this refuse as a series of rat swarms pour out of the edges of this giant dung pile. And where at the center that giant entity has revealed itself to be a terrifying visage of some kind. I’m going to have you go ahead and roll an arcana check.

ORION: 22.

MATT: 22. Immediately, as soon as this creature comes out (squelch), this horrible guttural bubbling sound its throat makes as it pulls itself out of this nasty collection of refuse. You’ve read of this in quite a few tomes before in your travels. This is known as an otyugh.

ORION: A what?

MATT: An otyugh.

ORION: Oh. Nasty things, these otyughs.

MATT: Usually riddled with disease, they’re controlled garbage disposals for those that can keep control of them. And it is Kashaw’s turn.

WILL: Do we get to know how dangerous they are to us?

MATT: You currently have no idea.

WILL: Are these creatures dangerous to us?

ORION: Yes.

WILL: So should we just try to get rid of everything right now, then, as it were?

ORION: They’re not even there yet.

WILL: They’re not with us at all yet, are they?

MATT: About 15 feet up, you can see the opening of the tunnel where you guys slipped out, and you have no visual sight of the rest of your party– which, you guys were left in darkness, by the way. You can see. You have dim light, so you’re fine.

ORION: Whatever you do, don’t go up next to it right now.

WILL: Yeah, can I cast some light? Turn on some light and see what we can see down there?

MATT: Well, he still has his Light spell.

WILL: Oh, we’re still lit up? Oh, okay. Good.

MATT: You can see this creature now. (growls)

WILL: Okay. Now, is there any chance that any kind of spell that I cast could hurt them, even though we can’t see where they are?

MATT: It depends on the spell’s radius. If it’s relatively small, then probably not. They’re not even within visual range, so you’d really have to try hard to hit them at this point.

WILL: And how about the rest of us, though? How close are we to this thing and this cylinder?

MATT: You guys are all about ten feet away from this giant creature right now.

WILL: Yeah, that’s a pretty tight thing. Okay. You know what, I think I’m going to try to at least slow this thing down as much as I can before everybody else gets down here. I think that’s the best thing to do is just slow it down. I’d like to cast Sacred Flame.

MATT: Sacred Flame.

WIL: Kash money.

MARISHA: (laughs) Kash money.

MATT: (laughs) Kash money. All right, so go ahead and look at the spell. What’s it require from you?

WILL: Let’s see, it’s one action.

MATT: Okay, so the target makes a dexterity saving throw. Let’s see if it makes this. What is your spell DC?

WILL: My spell DC?

MATT: Should be at the top of your spell list.

WILL: Where is that? Oh, I see what you’re saying. Yeah, okay. It’s a 16.

MATT: 16. Okay, it does not make it. As you bring out your holy symbol for a moment from beneath your armor, you look forward and thrust your spear forward. This energy travels from the middle of your torso, across your arm, down the spear, and fires off as this burst of vibrant whitish-blue light that blasts into the front of this otyugh creature. You deal 3d8 damage to it. So go ahead and roll eight-sided dice three times.

WILL: Eight. Now we need the full set, right?

MARISHA: Wait, they’re all here. Here’s an eight.

WILL: All right, I got the eight here.

WIL: If you need to roll a one, you can use one of mine.

MARISHA: Wait, that’s a ten. That’s a ten-sider. This one.

WILL: So three, right? Here we go.

MARISHA: Big money, no whammies.

WILL: That’s all right. Eight and five and four.

MARISHA: That’s really good.

MATT: Eight and five and four. 17 damage. (impact, growling) You can see now it has the two giant tentacles with these jagged spines that look covered in whatever it’s been climbing in and this one central stalk that has eyes across it, and the eyes flicker in pain and wince and then focus in on you and looks across your companions. Do you wish to move, or do you want to stay where you are?

WILL: Yeah, I would like to move. Once I’ve struck, I’d like to get at least a little bit farther away from it to try to distract it from the opening where these guys might be coming down, so the opposite side of the opening where these guys might drop in.

MATT: Okay, so you can try and move closer this way, probably. You’re now adjacent to one of the rat swarms, but you’re pulling it away from the entrance here.

LIAM: Are they rats or are they ROUS’s?

MATT: It looks like normal-sized rats. Not that you would know, because you’re not in the room, but there’s clusters and clusters of these rats swarming over each other.

WILL: Were any of them affected at all by the Sacred Flame?

MATT: No, it’s just the singular target, but if you have things that hit larger areas, they can hit multiple guys. That ends your turn. Next up is Tiberius.

ORION: I can move first, right?

MATT: You can, yes.

ORION: I’ll move around next to Kashaw.

MATT: Next to him? Okay, you will get free strikes from both the rat swarms, currently, because you’ll be passing through there and out of their melee range. You cool with that?

ORION: No, I’m not. Can I take a step back?

MATT: You can. This guy will still get an attack of opportunity on you.

ORION: Really? I thought I could move five feet.

MATT: You can use an action to disengage.

ORION: Okay. I won’t do anything. Here’s what I’m going to do instead. I’m sorry, I don’t know what was wrong. I’ve been off, and I apologize for how I’ve been sounding. What I’m going to do is I’m going to lift my finger and I’m going to aim behind that three-headed bastard and I’m going to release a 4th-level Fireball.

MATT: Over here?

ORION: Yes.

MATT: Show me with your laser pointer where you want the impact to be.

ORION: Behind him where it won’t hurt Keyleth and will just hurt him. Wherever that is.

MATT: Okay. I’d say that’d probably be right around this area here.

ORION: I’m going to immediately spend two sorcery points and quicken spell, and I’m going to turn around and do three Scorching Rays to follow up the Fireball right at that dude, each head.

MATT: Okay.

ORION: I’m going to, on that spell, spend another–

MATT: Wait up, let’s do the Fireball first.

ORION: Okay.

MATT: One thing at a time. So as you use your ring, you focus. The ray streaks past. Slams into the wall behind (explosion sound) with a deafening roar, and you guys definitely hear this. The hallway in the distance suddenly brightens up, and you can see a bit of flame roll up, and the scent of smoke comes wafting past you as a wave of heat blasts through the tunnel.

LIAM: Yeah, he does that.

MATT: What’s the DC on your spells?

ORION: 17.

MATT: Does not make the save, so full damage on the otyugh.

ORION: Wonderful, so let’s see. Here’s a six.

MATT: That rat swarm would also be hit.

ORION: Here’s a five. Okay, so I’m going to now–

MATT: What’s the damage on the Fireball?

ORION: Hold on, I’m going to spend one sorcery point to empower the spell, and I’m going to pick the six and reroll these four dice, because I can reroll up to that many when I empower. For that damage. Perfect. What’s the total for that, guys?

MATT: (singing) Math. Wizard math.

WIL: Math has no power here.

LIAM: Math is for everybody, guys. Really.

ORION: What is that? Nine. That’s 24. And then (counting).

MATT: We’re going to pimp out a calculator for him one day.

MARISHA: Yes, abacus.

ORION: 48.

MATT: 48 points of damage. Boom. All right. Well. After the fireball explosion settles, you can see there’s a big char mark in the front of it. Some of its teeth have been blown into the inside of its mouth. The rat swarm behind Keyleth is completely incinerated with a hundred-squeak screeches, and you can smell charred fur and hair and flesh in the air.

MARISHA: Oh, you burned my new robes! Ugh.

ORION: So I’m going to do that. Okay, and then the Scorching Ray happens. And I’m going to heighten that spell, which gives you disadvantage against the save? Is that what I want to do? Yeah, that’s what I’m going to do.

LIAM: It feels like you just did 17 things.

MATT: Well, no. You have to make a ranged spell attack for each one. There is no saving throw for it.

ORION: Oh. Actually, I don’t do that, then. I don’t spend those points. I was supposed to do True Strike to make that work. d20s, right?

MATT: Yep, so roll for each ray.

ORION: Wonderful. Yeah, they all hit. I got a 14, an 18, a 19, and my spell attack bonus is plus 11.

MATT: Okay. They all hit.

(laughter)

WIL: I saw that DM move of, I’ll tell you if it hits. I felt that.

MATT: It was there, and he was right. 6d6 fire damage.

ORION: Ooh, that’s gross, and I’m going to empower that spell, as well. So it’s four, and I’m going to pick four out of these six– no! I rolled a six. (counts quietly) 29.

MATT: 29? All righty. As each ray (impact sounds), you can see the flashing of the flaming light in the air. This darkened room is suddenly illuminated in bursts as each of these rays of burning fire go blasting into the side of the otyugh. It’s nearly pushed back into the pile that it pulled itself from, but steadies itself. Does that end your turn?

ORION: Yes, it does.

MATT: All right. Tiberius’s turn has come to an end.

MARISHA: I’ve knitted a sweater while Tiberius took his turn.

MATT: All right. Next up is the otyugh, who is extremely unhappy with how that went down. (growls) You now see as it pulls from the front of its body one giant backwards-looking elephant leg that steps into the front of the material, a second one, forward. It pulls itself completely out of the pile, and you can see a third one, like a giant tripod. These thick legs carry it forward. It is going to do a bite attack and a tentacle attack on you, and a tentacle attack on Keyleth, as you’re the nearest to it. So as it rears back with its mouth, this giant maw opens with all these nasty jagged broken teeth, and the smell that comes out of its mouth is horrifying, even for your experience as a dragonborn. That would be… 18 to hit.

ORION: Did you roll at disadvantage?

MATT: Why would I have disadvantage?

ORION: Cloak of Displacement?

MATT: Oh! Good call. Oh, that’s even higher. 19. But thank you for the reminder; that’s good to know.

ORION: AC is 18.

MATT: So it hits.

LIAM: Now go home and get your shine box.

MATT: So as you’re hanging back and your image is shifting and shimmering nearby, its mouth is just too big, and as it bites down, while it would have partially hit the side, it manages to find your proper location. The teeth clomp down onto you. You take 16 points of piercing damage. As you (grunts) reach back in pain, you push yourself out of its mouth. I need you to make a constitution saving throw.

ORION: 22.

MATT: 22. Okay, so you pull off and away. You can see where it dragged across your scales, it left this nasty trail of black– whatever you would call it, saliva– but you manage to slip it off your hand, and you feel like it’s probably not going to bother you too much. However, as you steady yourself, one of the tentacles comes swinging down towards you. That is also with disadvantage. That would be a 21 to hit.

ORION: Yeah, that hits.

MATT: All right. You take seven points of bludgeoning damage from the impact. That’s only four points of piercing damage as the spines slam into your side and seem to stick onto you. You are also considered grappled and restrained for the time, as the tentacle wraps around you and the spines are digging into your body. It now has you by your waist and is holding you in place.

ORION: This is fun. How much damage is that, total?

MATT: That’d be a total of 11 damage.

ORION: Really? Plus the other damage?

MATT: Plus the bite, no. Did you not write down the bite damage I told you?

ORION: That’s 16, so 26? 27. So what’s half of that?

MATT: Half of that?

ORION: Because of the Stoneskin. My Stoneskin is still up.

MATT: Stoneskin is still up. That is correct. How long does that last?

ORION: Hour?

MATT: Hour. Yeah, that should’ve lasted long enough. You’re fine, yeah. So half of that would’ve been–

ORION: I cast that when we were chasing him–

MATT: Yeah. 13 points of damage.

ORION: Okay. 13 points.

MATT: That was a lot of technicality in one turn. Well done, Tiberius. All right.

WIL: Spellcasters.

MATT: That will be a 23 against you.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: That turn’s done. That’ll be a total of 14 points of bludgeoning damage to you and five points of piercing damage, and you are also grappled by the other tentacles here. You are both currently being held to the sides of the creature.

MARISHA: 14 and five, you said?

MATT: Correct. That brings us to Vax.

LIAM: We’re how high up from here?

MATT: About 15 feet up, and you’re that far back.

LIAM: We’re that far back? All right, so it takes my whole movement just to run to the edge probably, yeah?

MATT: (counting) Yeah, pretty close, right there. That’s your turn?

LIAM: And that’s it? Bonus action, right?

MATT: Bonus action if you want it, yeah. LIAM: But I can’t see. Can I see past the lip of the edge to the top of that?

MATT: Whatever you’re trying to hit might have three-quarters cover.

LIAM: (sighs) That’s it.

MATT: Okay. That ends your turn. Now the swarms. Moving in. Each one of these rats swarms start crawling up towards your body, and they’re starting to find their way into your armor, and they’re biting. It’s a terrible experience. Swarm attacking Keyleth is going to be a 16 to hit.

MARISHA: Nope.

MATT: Nope. You brush them off yourself.

MARISHA: I look at them and I go, (rat noises).

MATT: (laughs) The rat whisperer. Attacking you, Brother Kash. That looks like it’s going to be a ten to hit?

WILL: Okay, so now what?

MATT: What’s your armor class?

WILL: My armor class is where? There. It’s 20.

MATT: 20. These rats come forward and you (whack) knock them out of the way with your shield. Against Tiberius, that is going to be, with disadvantage–

ORION: Man, they can’t touch me. I’m up in the air, yo.

MATT: You’re grappled, but you’re not floating in the air.

ORION: Aw man, I thought he was whipping me around.

MATT: Not yet.

MARISHA: (laughs) Not yet.

MATT: That’s going to be a 13, so it’s going to miss you. So the rats, no effect yet. That ends their turn. Keyleth, you’re up.

MARISHA: I take the tentacle that’s grappled around me and I grab onto it, and I cast Blight.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: It has to make a constitution saving throw.

MATT: What level is Blight? Blight is 4th?

MARISHA: 3rd.

MATT: All right, constitution saving throw. That is an 11. What’s your DC? I’m pretty sure it fails.

MARISHA: 18.

MATT: Okay, it takes 8d8 necrotic damage. Go ahead and roll damage.

MARISHA: Yes, it does.

WILL: Nice work.

MARISHA: Where’d all my d8s go?

WILL: You gave them to me. You very nicely gave them to me.

MARISHA: Here’s one. Ooh, there’s four, so five, six. Seven. I just like rolling all of them I could roll. Okay. That’s all right. There’s ten, there’s 20, there’s 35. Sorry. Yes, 36 damage.

MATT: 36 damage.

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: Nice! As you grab the tentacle, you can see the slippery, slimy flesh, and it has the residue on it. As your fingers grasp into it, its brownish-yellow color all of a sudden turns into this grayish sickly dried landscape, as you can see the flesh cracking to dust around it. The tentacle’s still grasping onto you. The magical energy travels up the side of what would be its torso and body, and you can see it beginning to withdraw through severe pain. It manages to eventually shrug off any further spread of the magical disease, of the Blight, but it has left this horrible scarring across one side of its whole body. You can’t really move this turn, since you’re currently restrained.

MARISHA: It’s fine.

MATT: Yep. All right. That brings us to Thorbir. What you got?

WIL: I’m going to continue down this corridor to get close to the half-elf.

MATT: That’s a full round of movement there.

WIL: That’s all I can do. Leave something for me!

MATT: All right, that ends that. That’s going to bring us to the top. Kashaw. Your turn.

WILL: Is the side that she damaged useless at this point? The one tentacle?

MATT: No, it’s still functional, still wrapped around her. There’s scarring across it and a large part of its upper torso. Torso. It’s weird to say parts of its body when it has that strange construction.

WIL: Don’t attach your body norms to it, man.

MATT: (laughs) I apologize.

LIAM: Are you body-shaming that otyugh?

WILL: Shouldn’t we? I’d like to move as much directly in front of the creature as possible.

MATT: Okay. That’ll get you there. That one rat swarm does get a free attack on you as you move past it. That is going to be an 11. You can see the rats swarming up your legs and trying to get past, but the armor’s too thick and the chain mail’s too strong underneath the plate you have, and you brush them off as you move to the side. Pulls you right up in front of it, now. Its giant mouth is (chomping sounds) angrily gnashing and biting down in front of you, and it’s sending bits of that brackish spittle across your face and smells horrifying. What are you doing?

WILL: I’d like to try to take control of it with Geas. See if I can tell this bitch what to do.

MARISHA: Do it!

WILL: Not you.

MARISHA: I was hoping you weren’t talking about me.

WILL: I’d never call you bitch.

MATT: Okay, the casting time for Geas is one minute.

WILL: Okay.

MATT: Knowing that, every combat round is equivalent to six seconds, so you could try it. It probably won’t survive that long, but hold onto that spell for now. Is there another one you’d like to use?

WILL: I will hold onto that. Yeah. I think then I’m going to try… How about just another Sacred Flame for now?

MATT: Sure. Go ahead and roll to attack, sir. No, this one it just makes its saving throw. I forgot. All right, cool. It’s going to attempt at making another dexterity saving throw. That is a 14, and that does not beat it, so go ahead and roll 3d8 points of damage to it. Radiant damage. Tiberius, you’re on deck.

MARISHA: Oh, nice. Not bad.

WILL: 16.

MATT: 16 points of damage, nice. Yes. (impact sounds) Once again, the flames burst up, and you can see parts of its body where the scarring is across it all of a sudden explode with light, and beneath you can see the freshly exposed grayish-brown fleshy muscle beneath its outer armored structure. It is looking a little rough. That ends your turn. That brings us to Tiberius.

ORION: He’s got me like this, right? Yeah, sure. I’m going to cast True Strike on him. Cantrip.

MATT: True Strike on yourself?

ORION: On him.

MATT: On him.

ORION: I’m going to look for a weakness. That’ll give me advantage on my next–

MATT: Attack roll against the target? Okay.

ORION: Then I’m going to quicken spell and spend two more sorcery points to cast– well, I’m going to look over. Can I see where Vax and him are coming?

MATT: Currently, no. There is so much going on in the room, and the only light source is you right now. You have no inclination that they’re even at the top at this point, and you’re currently wrapped in a tentacle and being swarmed by rats. You have no way of telling that they’ve even arrived at this point.

ORION: I can see behind the creature, though, because that’s within range. So I will do Misty Step behind him and get out of that grip.

MATT: All righty. Misty Step is a 2nd-level?

ORION: Yes.

MATT: All right. To where do you want to go?

ORION: As far away behind him as I can go.

MATT: There you go.

ORION: And that is my turn.

MATT: All righty. Ending your turn, the otyugh turns around angrily. Now it looks, it has its empty tendril. It’s going to step away. You do get one, Brother Kash, as it steps away. You get one free attack with your spear as it tries to move away from you.

WILL: Okay.

MATT: So go ahead and roll an attack with your spear.

WILL: That is a d20? 14.

MATT: Plus your attack bonus.

WILL: Attack bonus is–

MARISHA: Oh, plus nine.

MATT: Oh, that definitely hits. So go ahead and roll damage for the spear.

WILL: Damage for the spear?

MARISHA: Which is 1d8 plus three.

WILL: 1d8 plus three. Where’s my d8? Ten.

MATT: So as it moves away (stomping sounds) you reach out and (whoosh) hit it with the spear, leaving this big old gaping wound in the side where more of its dark blood begins to spill out from the wound. As it moves over, it’s going to go ahead and do one bite attack towards Keyleth with its open mouth. That’s going to be a 24.

MARISHA: That hits.

MATT: All right. That’s going to be 16 points of piercing damage to you, and make a constitution saving throw.

MARISHA: 16.

MATT: 16. You can feel the diseased liquid that fills the inside of the otyugh’s mouth begin to pulse into your arm for a second. You tense, and eventually the pain and numbness tends to fade within a few seconds. However, as you take that moment to yourself, as it’s still grabbing you with the one tentacle, it’s going to reach and attack twice towards Tiberius. That is going to be a 16?

ORION: Nope.

MATT: Okay. That’ll be a 19.

ORION: Yes.

MATT: So the second one hits you. That is eight points of bludgeoning damage and five points, so 13. Half that because of Stoneskin. That puts you at seven points of damage. And you are once again grappled and wrapped up by it.

ORION: I think he likes me!

MATT: I think you pissed it off when you set it on fire multiple times in a row.

WILL: We could use a little help down here!

LIAM: Coming!

MATT: That ends its turn. Vax, you’re up.

LIAM: Okay. I’m going to run up to the edge of it. Are any of my friends right up against this nasty shit?

MATT: Currently, Keyleth is right next to it.

LIAM: Keyleth. So if it’s occupied with my friend, I can take a second, aim really well, and sneak attack from up here. Okay, so that is 24.

MATT: 24? That hits, definitely.

LIAM: All right, so sneak attack.

MARISHA: Oh good, you showed up!

LIAM: That’s a two plus nine. This is Keen Dagger. Nine. Plus 12, 17, 21. That’s 21. 30.

MATT: 30 points of damage. All right.

LIAM: And the second dagger, which is Life-Stealing, hits with a 24.

MATT: That hits, definitely.

LIAM: That is eight.

MATT: Eight. All right. You still have the rest of your movement if you want to stay up there or wish to move somewhere.

LIAM: Nope, just going to perch.

MATT: Okay, cool. All right.

MATT: Ending Vax’s turn, the rats now move up. This one is going to go there, attacking Keyleth. You are currently restrained. Tiberius, you are also restrained, so attacks against you have advantage. That’ll be a 19 against you.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Against Tiberius, it just has a general attack roll because you give it disadvantage on attacks. That is going to be a 17, which I think misses you. All right. Keyleth, you take nine points of piercing damage as the rats are now swarming up over the side of the tentacle and biting at your neck and shoulder area, and you’re trying to brush them off of you.

MARISHA: No! (squeaking noises)

MATT: Rats aren’t your friends anymore. That finishes their turn. It is now your turn, Keyleth.

MARISHA: My turn? Okay, are rats swarming me?

MATT: Yep.

MARISHA: This guy’s looking pretty close to dead, yeah?

MATT: He’s looking pretty hurt.

MARISHA: He’s looking pretty hurt? I’m going to do it again. I’m going to do Blight again.

MATT: Blight again against this guy?

MARISHA: Yeah. I’m still grappled, right?

MATT: You are, yes.

MARISHA: So just same thing, I’m just going to (sucking sound) try and suck the life out of this guy.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Constitution saving throw.

MATT: That is going to be a 13.

MARISHA: (laughs, counts) I need one more, where’s it at? Big money, no whammies. Ooh, that’s not bad. Okay, so that’s 14, 15, 16, 24, 30, 32, 35, 41, 45.

MATT: 45 points of damage from Blight. So this time, as the rats are swarming over you, you reach up your hands. They’re glowing with the energy that you’re drawing from this. You can see the actual air around her hands beginning to turn black and the air is beginning to be pulled in. What was once a very moist and warm vicinity gets strangely cold as now her hands embody the end of life. She grasps the tentacle, and the rats scatter as the proximity grows. As you touch it, you can see now what was once the Blight’s scarring begins to fill the entire tentacle, and as it turns, it hardens around you, almost like a brittle piece of concrete. The rest of its body (cracking) you see it begins to (roars), starts thrashing about. Its tendril releases you, Tiberius, dropping you into a pile of refuse. As it reaches around to try and grasp its own tentacle, (shattering sound) it breaks through its own arm. As it reels back, you fall onto your butt, the rest of the broken pieces of otyugh crumbling into dust around you. You look up and see the creature as it attempts to back up, each one of its legs pulling up against the one door that’s partially buried in the far corner. It slams into the side as the Blight spreads across its body. Its teeth begin to shatter and turn to dust within its mouth, which begins to slowly curl inward as it ages extremely rapidly in a short period of time. Suddenly, it slumps to the ground, (gurgling sound) and joins the refuse of which it once came from.

MARISHA: Dead?

MATT: Thorbir?

WIL: You were supposed to save something for me!

ORION: There’s a bunch of rats down here!

WIL: Rats!

WILL: Walk faster.

WIL: (clunk clunk) To the edge, there. How far down is it?

MATT: 15 feet. And it is soft ground.

WIL: Can I jump and land on those rats?

MATT: You know what? Sure. Go ahead and make an athletics check.

MARISHA: Come on. You can do it.

WIL: Okay. 17.

MARISHA: It’s rats!

MATT: You leap, slam down on top of the rat swarm that just jettisoned off the side of Keyleth. I’m going to say for that impact, go ahead and roll 1d6. It takes 1d6 bludgeoning damage from you stepping on a few of the rats.

WIL: Six.

MATT: Six! All righty. And they’re now all around you on the ground and they’re trying to swarm away from the impact zone. You still have your action.

WIL: Okay, so. I haven’t played a character this high-level in this system, so bear with me while I walk through this. I believe that I can attack three times in a round, right? I have the extra attack feature?

MATT: Yes, as a fighter, you do. You have three attacks.

WIL: Okay, so I’m going to take my axe and just try to kill as many of these things as I possibly can. So I swing my axe.

MATT: All right.

WIL: And I roll a two.

MATT: All right, you swing your axe for the first batch of rats. Unfortunately, it’s hard to see where the compost pile and the rats separate. You cleave through a bunch of the slimy mess, slinging a bunch of it against the wall, and as you spatter a bit against Keyleth, who’s behind you. Roll for your next attack. WIL: Very unhappy about that. Okay, three. How’s that hole looking? It’s a great hole, right?

MATT: You decide, as opposed to a small swath, let’s make it a wider one, and your axe swings again. This time you catch a singular rat, but with the flat of the blade, and you send it flying about ten feet, where it comes back unharmed and joins the rest of its crew.

WIL: Just getting warmed up! And a one.

WILL: It can’t be real! It can’t be real.

LIAM: That is CG. That is computer-generated.

MATT: This time, in an angry fury that you are being stifled by what is essentially sewer rats, you lift your axe up in the air as one rat has climbed up your pants bites you right in the crotch.

WIL: Don’t touch it, don’t do that. Okay. Yes, it does.

MATT: In pain, you drop the axe behind you and reach down and grab the rat and tear it in half out of frustration and anger, and I will give you a point of damage for that.

WIL: A point of damage? The rat bit through my metal codpiece?

MATT: It snuck up past the small little gap there and ate through your leather britches, and you are in severe pain, nearing prone.

WIL: Well, I mean us dwarves are known for our dicks that are sensitive to rat bites.

MATT: This is true. They didn’t put that in the Player’s Handbook, but I think they’re going to amend it, too.

WIL: Oh, it’s canon in my game.

MATT: And with that, Thorbir’s turn is up.

WIL: Yeah, it sure is. Excuse me, I must inform the internet of my majesty.

LIAM: You got your dick bit by a rat, son. You’re a man now.

WILL: (laughs) You’re a man now.

MATT: Every dwarf, when they hit the tender age of 30, has to wander waist-deep into the rat pits. All right. Kashaw, you’re up.

WILL: First I would like to turn to Thorbir and say, are you kidding me?! How many rats are left?

MATT: You have the group that is currently swarming around Thorbir, one immediately to your left that you’re batting away with your shield, and one group that is currently trying to get all up in Tiberius’s shit.

WILL: Can we tell who’s in the most danger at this point?

MATT: For the most part, everyone seems to be doing okay. He’s looking the roughest from a situational–

MARISHA: That’s just a bruised ego. That’s different.

WILL: Yeah. I think I would like to move to come to Strongcastle’s defense over here.

ORION: Stormwind.

WILL: Right.

MATT: All right, so. There we go. The rats do get a swing at you. That is going to be– that’s not going to hit. Once again, you hear the little small tings against the back of your armor, but it’s not even a bother at this point. All right, what are you doing? You move up to the rats.

WILL: Once again, because again, people, I need some help. I’m a healer for god’s sakes, so I’m going to try Sacred Flame again.

MATT: All right, which I’m going to say you stayed a step back on, because it’s a ranged attack. So you get real close, once again set your spear down real fast, grab your holy symbol, and then release that burst. Go ahead and roll for attack. Actually, no, it’s a saving throw again. That’s my end. The rats roll a one. Go ahead and roll straight damage on that. It’s 3d8.

WILL: Oh, the 3d8s. That’s right. I’m sorry.

MATT: It’s all good.

WILL: Here are the d8s, right?

WIL: You know, if you’re me, you only have to roll once.

WILL: That’s not that great. Eight.

MATT: Eight points of damage. You release it and you can see about 13, 14 rats get thrown and scattered, their lifeless burnt corpses (pattering sound) around, and the little hole that you left in the middle of that pile closes up as the rats form once again into a coalesced swarm. That ends your turn, I believe. That’ll bring us to Tiberius.

MARISHA: Kill some rats.

ORION: What the hell are we in?

MATT: It’s a giant cylindrical– it looks like it was once a cistern that has been turned into some sort of a refuse–

ORION: Is there a roof?

MATT: From what you can see? Roll a perception check.

ORION: What do I use?

MATT: Perception. It’s a skill. You don’t use it very often.

ORION: 15. No, 14.

MATT: As far as you can see, it goes up maybe 30 or so feet beyond the radius of your Light spell and fades into darkness. You have no idea if there’s a ceiling or end to it or how far it would be if there was one.

ORION: Okay. Well, I’ve got one right next to me, right?

MATT: You do.

ORION: I’m going to put out my hand and I’m going to do a Firebolt right next to that one.

MATT: Okay. Go ahead and roll to attack with disadvantage.

ORION: Why, are they on me?

MATT: Yeah, they’re right up against you. Ranged attacks, when you’re in melee with the target, it’s at disadvantage.

ORION: Oh, right. Well, then I’m going to not do that. I’m going to cast Obelisk of Stone and then quicken spell and then I’m going to do a Firebolt. That’s what I’m going to do.

MATT: Okay.

ORION: Yeah.

WIL: Avenge me!

MATT: Obelisk of Stone puts you up on top there.

ORION: About ten feet. And then I’ll do the 2d10 damage.

MATT: All righty.

ORION: d10s. Here’s one.

WILL: All right, I think I have one.

MATT: Roll to hit first.

ORION: Is it a d10? Do what now? Roll to hit first?

LIAM: You need d10s.

ORION: Yes, thank you. Is that a spell attack roll? That’s 31.

MATT: 31? Yeah, that hits. Swarm of rats: not too hard to hit, really.

ORION: Cool, so that’s 11, so that’s 16.

MATT: 16? All right. You lift up onto your ten-foot platform as this stone pushes up from beneath all of the slime, and as it emerges, it sends this spilling cluster of whatever was at the bottom of this. You have to keep your footing as you go up. In fact, because of this room, I’m going to go ahead and have you roll a dexterity saving throw.

ORION: What is that, 12?

MATT: 12. So you get the attack off, but you lose your footing from the slick nature of the obelisk you just created, and you will plummet off and fall prone into the refuse to the side of the obelisk, but you still get the damage off on the spell. As you blast– whoa– and Tiberius, you tumble off the side. It’s a soft impact. You only fall ten feet. It doesn’t do any damage, but you are currently prone on the ground next to your obelisk.

LIAM: Refuse is code for shit.

MATT: I believe that ends your turn. You haven’t moved yet, so you could technically use your movement to get up from prone if you wanted.

ORION: Oh, I’ll do that.

MATT: Okay. Cool, that ends your turn. He’s gone. Vax, you’re up.

LIAM: I’m staying safe up here. I’m going to throw more daggers. There’s a little pile under Thorbir’s hiney? And a little bit out by itself, right?

MATT: Right here, yes.

LIAM: Are they spilling out from under the dwarf’s hiney? Or are they all hidden?

MATT: No, they’re all around him. They’re sharing the same space.

LIAM: Okay. I’m going to throw daggers at the one that’s biting his ass, so it’s a sneak attack. That’s not good. That’s 13.

MATT: So a 13, that hits.

LIAM: Oh hey, rats.

MATT: Rats are easy to hit.

LIAM: Oh, right.

WIL: No, they’re not.

(laughter)

WILL: Usually, they are.

LIAM: That’s two plus seven is nine, plus 11, 12, 17, 18, 19, 21 is the first dagger, and I send the next one down. If the last one hit, this one hits. So that’s 21 and the second dagger is a ten, so 31.

MATT: 31 damage total? All right. You notice that because of the nature of the swarm, what would normally be a creature that you could do a shit-ton of damage to, knowing its physicality, it seems like a lot of the physical attacks aren’t as effective as you would like. However, this swarm has already taken a few hits, and as you carve through, dagger after dagger, eventually you pick off the remainder of the rats and the swarm is dissipated. The few ones that are stragglers, realizing that safety in numbers is missing, begin to curl their ways back underneath the piles they clawed from originally.

WIL: I was doing fine.

MATT: That ends your turn? At the end of your turn, the other two rat swarms, also realizing the circumstance is bad, fight-or-flight kicks in and they flee and crawl back underneath.

MARISHA: Smart rats.

LIAM: Cheese!

WILL: (Mickey Mouse voice) Haha! I think I’m going to flee. Let’s all swarm, come on, we can do it.

MATT: So you all take a moment, take your breath. You get back up.

LIAM: I’m going to hop down in the shit and loop an arm under Thorbir’s arm. Come on, old man.

WILL: How’s your dick?

WIL: I don’t want to talk about it.

ORION: I Prestidigitate all the crap off.

MATT: Okay.

WILL: Is she still on the ground, or has she gotten up?

MATT: You’ve gotten back up. She’s still spattered–

WILL: You ruined your new dress.

MARISHA: I know. I got scorched by Tiberius’s fireball.

WILL: You fought well, though.

WIL: I’m looking for the way out of here. I’m looking to see where the rakshasa went.

MATT: Looking on the far side, it’s partially buried in the ground from the collection here, but you can see there is a bit of a push, like the door had been opened briefly and pushed things away, then slammed shut, and it’s slowly starting to coalesce back towards it.

LIAM: All right. Hold on, everybody. I walk right toward it, perception checking the area around it and the door itself. That’s 24.

MATT: 24? The door appears to be a normal door. Nothing strange about its presentation. However, upon checking the handle on the edge of it, it does appear to be locked.

LIAM: Locked. All right, well, I pull out my little sack and I pull out one of these (twing) and go to work on it. That is a 28.

MATT: 28. In a matter of seconds– this is an old-school lock, and one that is generally used for not very security-required rooms. Flick of the wrist, (click, creak) the door pushes inward a little bit and you have to get your strength in to push back the cluster of dried and liquid plant matter that is rotting against it, with just enough of a gap to push through into a dark room beyond, it looks like.

LIAM: I Fonzie’d it.

MATT: You did, kind of.

LIAM and MARISHA: (Fonzie impressions) Hey.

LIAM: Okay, Tiberius, are you still lighting up this room?

MATT: He is currently the only light source, yes.

LIAM: Okay, so there’s probably a little bit of light going in there, so I’m trying to look in to see what I can see from his spill-in there.

MATT: Okay. Glancing into the next room, you can see there’s a little bit of a trickle of liquid that has spilled from underneath the doorway from this room. And you get the feeling this door isn’t open very often, if at all, and the little bit of slime that has coasted through only goes about five, ten feet into a long stone hallway that disappears in the darkness no more than maybe 20 feet from you. Even with the low light, you can see pretty far. To the right and left of you, though: sets of iron bars.

LIAM: Okay. Tibs. Follow that. Try and keep behind me. And I throw up the hood and go as low to the ground as I can, and I start to Gollum along the floor, looking at the ground in front of me in the dim light, trying to see if I can see any traps ahead of me.

MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make a perception check.

LIAM: 25.

MATT: 25. As you begin walking into the hallway, you go past, and you start to notice from the visual around you, there’s smooth stone floor. The iron bars are all the way across with some partitions between. This is in particular a subterranean holding facility, some sort of an underground prison, and it’s very quiet and there is no light in here. There are sconces set up, but it looks like there have been no recent torches set.

LIAM: Hear anything?

MATT: Hearing? You hear nothing. It is absolutely still and quiet.

LIAM: I grab my earring. Let’s do it. And I start moving forward.

MARISHA: I follow him.

MATT: The rest of you guys continue with him?

WIL: I come up to the door and see what I can see with my darkvision.

MATT: Okay. Glancing inside as well, you can see the prison goes on for as far as your visual range is, about 60 feet. There are four sets of prison cells on each side, so there are eight cells total, and the hallway continues past that. But you can’t quite see beyond those initial four on each side. You can glance on the inside. You can see what looks like dried and brittle thatch that was once used to cover the floor has slowly molded over time. To your left, you see what looks to be elements of a skeletal corpse that was left for a very long period of time in the cell immediately to your left as you look through the doorway.

WIL: I’ll continue on.

MATT: Okay. As you enter this area and start stepping in, the air itself has a very chemical smell to it. It’s hard to describe. There’s something musty and untouched to the air, but there’s also some sort of gentle hint of an acrid scent. Do you guys continue forward through this prison area?

LIAM: I’m looking at the floor and everything as far out as I can see ahead of me.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: What’s above us?

MATT: Looking up, it’s about 15 feet up, and it is another smooth stone ceiling. The construction here looks old. You, specifically, go ahead and make a perception check. With advantage, because you are a dwarf.

WIL: 12 plus whatever. Do I roll again?

MATT: Yeah, roll again. As you’re a dwarf, and this is an underground stone structure.

WIL: Oh, nine. So 15.

MATT: Okay, that’s not bad. Looking at the stonework here, it’s definitely created for function more than any sort of presentory functionality. You gather from looking at the nearby pieces of the stone wall that connects with the first set of metal bars that this was probably carved a few hundred years ago, and the metal bars as you move past– you guys see this too– the doorways that lead into these, some appear to be locked and some are completely open, easy to swing, and as you pull it open, (creak) very heavy rust against those iron doors, probably affected largely by the nearby moisture emanating from the room and whatever chemical’s hanging in the air.

WILL: Are we still lit?

MATT: You’re still lit by his Light spell, yes.

MARISHA: And there’s nothing really in the prison cells, with the exception of one skeleton?

MATT: Well, that was in one room. If you want to go ahead and check around, go ahead and make an investigation check.

LIAM: I thought we would have seen it here.

MARISHA: Yeah, I’ll look around in the cells. Natural 20!

MATT: There is balance to the universe. As you’re walking past, Keyleth, looking over on one side, you see further up, with a bunch of the thatch pushed around it, there appears to be a corpse that doesn’t have the layer of dust that a number of the other skeletal piles in some of the other cells seem to have. The door to get into the cell, though, does appear to be locked.

MARISHA: Vax. Need your help; this is locked.

LIAM: What’s in there?

MARISHA: Looks like a fresh dead guy?

LIAM: Okay. Out comes the pick. I’m going to perception check that corpse through the cell. That’s a 12.

MATT: It’s hard to tell. It’s mostly covered with a lot of this thatch. It doesn’t look like it was intentionally covered, but some sort of a struggle took place in this room.

LIAM: Now for the door. Natural 20.

WIL: You’re welcome.

(laughter)

WIL: I work in mysterious ways.

MATT: The lock on this, it’s not an intricate lock, but it is very heavily rusted, and as soon as you start moving in there, you realize that there is actually something metal that has been broken off inside, whether by a previous key, just through accident, or intent, it was broken off inside. You manage to find a way to remove it, pull the piece out, and still get the lock open. The gate swings open, and you guys enter to inspect this corpse. Looking at it, you notice that the body has been probably dead for a couple months. It is in prolonged state of decomposition, but there is still some semblance of flesh sloughing off the remnants of the bone. You can see from the wounds that it has received that a large portion of it has been torn open very violently and elements of it have been removed. The softer organs.

WIL: Is it wearing any clothing?

MATT: As you inspect it, you look and see that while smashed with blood and dirt and dust, the outfit does appear to be that of a Duskmeadow Bastion.

LIAM: I feel really terrible, but I’m going to give him the old half-elven pat-down and see if I can find anything on his personage.

MATT: Looking about his entire body, anything of value has been taken.

WILL: Can I speak with him?

MATT: Can you what?

WILL: I’d like to cast Speak With Dead.

MATT: You can.

WILL: Let’s find out what killed him.

LIAM: You can do that?

WILL: Yes, I can do many things.

LIAM: That’s badass!

MARISHA: And he’s a dusk-what Bastion?

MATT: Duskmeadow, which is the section of Vasselheim that worships the Raven Queen. The guys that you encountered earlier in the road? The dark, studded leather armor with the cloak swept over one arm.

LIAM: You know he’s dead, right?

WIL: I cast Annoyed Dwarf to know that he was likely killed by the rakshasa. Why are we standing in this room?

WILL: I want to know when he was killed.

WIL: I’m not stopping you.

MATT: Okay, so as you sit down and you begin preparing your ritual, you once again mutter under your breath and begrudgingly pull out your symbol. As you continue casting the spell, there’s a slight shimmer of greenish-blue light that slowly pours over the corpse, seeps into the bones, and for a moment you see Kashaw go into this trance-like state. Kashaw, you see from within the corpse, the face sits up with this horrible cracking bone-like sound. The skeletal element with this partially mummified and mostly rotten face steps forward, and the vacuous sockets that once held its eyes turn towards you, and you could swear you see the bone of its grimace grin as it airily whispers towards you, “Why do you bother me?”

WILL: Because I have questions.

MATT: “What questions do you have?”

WILL: What killed you?

MATT: “Something that was not supposed to be here. Something vicious, something untrue. It wasn’t what it seemed. This woman was asking for help, and no one’s supposed to be down here if it’s not their route. Occasionally, we come and check on these abandoned parts of the prison. A woman was here. A woman should not be down here. I went to ask what was wrong, and she took this from me.” And the bony hand reaches up and gestures to the throat, and you can see there’s giant claw marks across the front of its spinal cord where its neck is that give the sensation that something tore its throat out.

WILL: A woman did this to you?

MATT: “Aye.”

MARISHA: Shapeshifter.

WILL: Or there’s more than one. When? When were you killed?

MATT: “14 weeks have passed. I was resting.”

WILL: Anybody have questions? He’s not going to be here long, I can tell you that. Not at 14 weeks.

MARISHA: Ask him if he knows which direction he went, and if he has a hideout.

WILL: Which direction she went, you mean.

MARISHA: Well, he or she or whatever it was.

WILL: Did you see which direction she went after she killed you?

MATT: “She walked away, laughing and eating parts of me. I have not seen her since, but others walk these halls. I’ve seen a dwarf pass through two or three times, and as it did and passed my cell, it laughed. Sometimes guards come to inspect, but none have found me. None have found me yet.”

WILL: Are all the guards that come Bastions of the Raven Queen?

MATT: “We are the ones to protect the Amaranthine Oubliette. That is our job here. You sit in the lower forgotten halls of the Oubliette. My final resting place.”

WILL: Stormcloud? Any questions?

ORION: I think we’ve learned all we can from this one.

MARISHA: Which direction was the dwarf walking?

WILL: You can answer her. What direction was the dwarf going?

MATT: The other hand creeps up from underneath the thatch. As you guys are watching this, the corpse is doing nothing, it’s just lying there, he is talking to an unmoving corpse. For your vision, the hand reaches over and points in the direction you guys came from.

WILL: So it went the way we came.

MATT: “That was two weeks ago.”

MARISHA: But he said he’s been coming and going, so maybe he was just leaving?

WILL: Coming the same direction we came from, though. That seems odd. And a man, a dwarf, and a woman.

LIAM: Weeks ago. Not five minutes ago.

MATT: The spell fades, and the corpse falls back to its original pose, jaw left open, aghast in its final moments.

LIAM: Thorbir’s right. We’re burning time. We need to go in.

WILL: Go in where? Do we go back the direction the dwarf came?

ORION: I rolled a 23 arcana check on Thorbir’s jeweled knife that he gave me.

MATT: Just so you guys are aware, you are essentially in this vicinity of the prison. This was the room where you found the corpse, here. And you’ve seen just enough light begin to reveal there is a secondary prison room up here.

WILL: I’m sorry, but we came from that direction?

MATT: From this door, yes. This would’ve connected right there.

WILL: Okay.

WIL: Every second we’re here, it’s getting away.

ORION: I agree.

LIAM: You’re absolutely right. We’re going in. When we’re in there, you keep it busy, and I will carve it up.

WIL: I will keep it busy.

WILL: Try not to get your dick bit by a rat.

LIAM: I slide past Tiberius, crouch down to the ground again, and start scuttling along the ground. Looking, listening.

ORION: What was the ruling on the arcana check?

MATT: For?

ORION: The jeweled knife that Thorbir gave me.

MATT: The knife does not appear to have any sort of magical aura about it. It’s just a very well-crafted and probably relatively expensive piece of functionality or ornamental use. It’s a very fine blade, though. It would be a fine thing to enchant, if you were inclined to.

ORION: Kashaw. How close are you to your god?

WILL: At one time, very close. Now? I don’t think you’d want to be anywhere near her.

MARISHA: And which god is that?

WILL: My god is called Vesh, and I am the only one on the planet who has ever heard of her. Yeah, she killed everybody else. Want to talk to her?

ORION: I don’t.

WILL: No. Neither do I.

MARISHA: Why did she spare you?

WILL: Because I’m her husband.

ORION: Oh. How is that, being married to a god? That’s rather inconvenient.

MARISHA: And how does that happen in the first place?

WIL: Thorbir sighs heavily and steps into the room, and follows Vax.

MARISHA: We can walk and talk. You guys go.

MATT: So you’re walking forward.

WILL: She married me at birth. My mother was told that I was a special child, which is why I had the yellow eyes. I had two when I was born. We were married at birth. She killed everyone in the village. On my 15th naming-day she came to consummate the marriage. I made the first 50 slashes on my right arm. She made the next 50 for a ritual called the Sting of the Hundred, and when my blood mixed with her sweat, I gained all her memories. That’s when I found out she was essentially the devil. I was raised as a healer because I wasn’t just supposed to be her husband, but also her balance, because the universe wouldn’t accept somebody as black as her in it. Tried to kill her at 15. Haven’t seen her since.

ORION: Ooh. So it’s not like you can ask for a favor, I suppose.

WILL: I suppose I could, but there’s a good chance she’ll kill you, me, and everyone around at the same time.

MATT: At this point in time, as you guys are having this conversation, you moved up and looked and you can see there are two humanoids walking from this direction further down this hallway, which you can see leads this direction.

LIAM: I’d like to imagine that Thorbir and Vax left that conversation behind a little.

MATT: As you see them approaching here, stepping in your direction, they are both dressed in full Duskmeadow Bastion armor. The one on the far end appears to be older, balding with thinning gray hair. The one who’s further up is in his forties. Big thick brown beard, hair pulled back into a ponytail, and they’re both lightly conversing to each other. Not paying much attention, like they’re running through a routine.

LIAM: I start pushing back on Thorbir, backing everybody up, silently pushing backward and trying to steer everyone in a heap backwards and to the side of the cell we just came from. Just trust me.

MATT: Make a stealth check.

LIAM: 19.

MATT: 19? Okay. As you’re pushing everyone back, (shushing) whispering all this, you hear a voice say, “Hello? Hold on. Hello?” The one with the beard approaches with his hand on his weapon, the other one moving along the back.

LIAM: Did I get them into the cell?

MATT: You pushed them far back and into the cell?

LIAM: Yeah, that was what I wanted to do, just backwards to everybody.

ORION: Yeah, and as this is going on, I dissipate the Light spell.

MATT: Okay. Light spell vanishes. He walks up and turns the corner.

LIAM: I give everybody a group hug with my Cloak of Elvenkind and try to make a big rag pile out of this corner. I’m very uncomfortably pressed against Thorbir’s backside.

MATT: Okay. The cloak can only really cover you and partially another person. The rest of you all make a stealth check.

MARISHA: So who’s it partially covering?

LIAM: (laughs) Thorbir.

MARISHA: Thorbir.

MATT: No, it’s not enough to really effectively do it to another person. It’s just more for flavor.

LIAM: It’s the thought that counts.

MARISHA: 15.

WILL: Five.

ORION: 20.

WIL: A viewer whose chat name begins with a U– I won’t identify the viewer in case this goes badly– sent me these dice and said, may they roll well. I would like to apologize in advance for what is about to happen to this person’s beloved dice. It’s a 15. Oh, look at that! It turns out that there are two-digit numbers on these dice.

(laughter)

WIL: And my stealth is two, so that’s 17.

MATT: 17, all right. So the guy walks into the room, looks back and forth. The one behind him steps forward into the room a bit. The other one steps behind him. Looks about. Looks from one side of the room, looks over to your room. There’s almost a glimmer of recognition in his eye, and continues walking past. They just start walking back the direction you guys came from.

MARISHA: Uh.

MATT: The other one–

MARISHA: I throw up a Wall of Stone.

MATT: Where?

MARISHA: Right there.

MATT: Right there?

MARISHA: To lock them in.

WILL: That wasn’t quiet.

MATT: Wall of Stone goes up.

LIAM: (muffled) What the fuck?

WIL: How long does that last?

MARISHA: It’s permanent!

WIL: Let’s go.

WILL: It’s time to move.

LIAM: All right, back around the corner, following around, looking, listening. Everybody the same.

MATT: That chemical smell is getting stronger and stronger. It’s burning your nose a little bit.

MARISHA: So Kashaw. If you’re the only one who knows about this goddess, that means she also killed your parents?

WILL: Yes. Thank you for bringing that up.

LIAM: Perception? I got you, baby. Well, that was perception.

WIL: So I’m attempting to make a perception roll to see if I can pull anything out of these smells, maybe based on my experience with smithing and the chemicals that are associated with all that sort of thing, but I did roll a three. So I guess I would add a three. The best I can get out of that is a nine.

MATT: Okay. You (sniffs) and it clears your sinuses up pretty well. Much like a fresh dab of wasabi, your nostrils are a little more open. Because it’s not sulfurous, it doesn’t have something similar to what you’d find in smithing in your experience, at the very least. It’s hard to really place where it comes from. You said you’re going which way?

LIAM: Towards that other door that they did not come out of.

MATT: This here? All right.

LIAM: 23 I rolled, perception.

MATT: 23. You approach the door. This door is locked. It does not appear to be trapped.

LIAM: Okay. Let’s unlock it.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: That is a 21.

MATT: Okay. As you reach down to the lock and you place the picks inside, start fiddling, you look at the iron around it, and the actual metal seems to be frosting over. You pull back your head, and as you exhale, your breath becomes visible and the temperature seems to drop significantly, and as soon as you look up at the wood, something shimmers in the wood, and it’s a humanoid face that just pushes out of the wood.

LIAM: Can I use Uncanny Dodge to roll backward right now?

MATT: Right now?

MARISHA: Oh my god.

WIL: Do we see this happening?

MATT: You guys are hearing his reaction to this just happen in the front, there. I’m going to go ahead and say sure.

ORION: Are there torches down this hallway?

MATT: So one of the hands comes through, reaching out for you, this ghostly arm just swings towards you.

LIAM: And I say, nope!

MATT: I’d like to have everybody roll initiative.

MARISHA: Oh, again? Man, we’re going to run into everything.

ORION: Are there torches in this hallway?

MATT: No.

WILL: Lighting, open flame of any kind?

MATT: Currently, no.

WILL: Ten.

WIL: 11.

MATT: All right. So we have 20 or higher? Anyone?

ORION: Yes. 21.

MATT: All right. 20 to 15? 15 to ten?

WIL: 11.

WILL: I had ten, yeah.

MATT: There we go. All right, nine to five?

MARISHA: Nine.

MATT: All right, and then?

LIAM: 11, as well. I roll back, going (squeals).

MATT: All right. Tiberius, you’re up first. As you see these two drifting humanoid translucent ghostly entities drift out the door that Vax was at as he leaps backward, a second one drifts out of the stone down the hallway and turns towards the group, both of them giving these horrible low moaning sounds. (moans) Their feet are dragging about a foot off the ground.

ORION: I’ll point to the one coming from opposite of Vax.

MATT: There?

ORION: That guy.

MATT: That guy, all right.

ORION: And then I’m going to do True Strike on him. And I’ll back away!

MATT: Back away.

ORION: That’s good. That’s my turn.

MATT: Cool. All right. They go next. This one is going to drift forward. Now, the one that swiped at you, as you dodge backward, it drifts forward and its arms reach out for you and attempt to pierce the front of your chest. Go ahead and make a charisma saving throw.

LIAM: Okay. I will do that.

MATT: Keyleth, you do the same as the spirit suddenly–

MARISHA: A charisma saving throw?

MATT: Yes. Flickers and appears right before you.

LIAM: 11.

MATT: 11.

MARISHA: Okay. 11.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM, MARISHA, and WILL: (cartoonish ghost noises)

MATT: You guys watch as both of these ghostly entities (whoosh) completely slip into the physical form of Vax and Keyleth, who each shudder for a second as their eyes glaze over. Both the entities are no longer visible. However, you feel the presence of a cold, invading mind full of anger and distant loss and rage fill your brain, and your body is not your own.

MARISHA: Sorry, guys.

LIAM: This is going to be fun.

MATT: Suddenly you see Vax pull his daggers out and turn around and look at the rest of the group. Keyleth turns around and snarls at the rest of the group, this twisted grin.

LIAM: (whispering) They call me Count Chocula.

(laughter)

MATT: Thorbir, you’re up.

WIL: I am going to make a goading attack to try and draw whoever’s closer.

MATT: Closest to you would be Keyleth. Keyleth is right next to you.

MARISHA: I don’t even know what to do.

WIL: Yeah, so I’m just going to make a goading attack, and if I hit, then they come after me. Or she comes after me. I’m pretty sure I don’t hit. I don’t know why I’m rolling. Sorry, that’s a four on my first roll.

LIAM: Use this one; it’s quicker.

WIL: (laughs) Oh, 14. I’m sorry. I can’t remember. Oh, plus ten. 24.

MATT: 24 versus Keyleth? What’s your armor class?

MARISHA: 17.

MATT: 17. That hits Keyleth.

WIL: Sorry about this.

MARISHA: It’s okay. Just keep me alive, Cashew.

WIL: Can I pull the attack to not do as much damage? I mean, other than the way I usually roll dice. Can I hit her with like the blunt side of the axe–

MATT: You can say subdual damage. It’ll still damage her.

WIL: Okay. Should I roll my regular attack dice?

MATT: Yeah, your regular attack dice.

WIL: 15 points of damage.

MATT: 15 points of damage to you, Keyleth, as you get smacked broadside with the blunt edge of Thorbir’s axe. You see this happening, and in your head you’re screaming, trying to push this out, but no matter how hard your will imposes itself, your body is not your own. You feel like you’re restrained in a dark closet, watching from a distant hallway as somebody else controls your body.

WIL: So I have to expend a superiority die, and I add this– yeah. Oh, fuck you! Now you’re going to work? So that’s nine more points. Sorry.

MATT: Nine more points of damage on top of that.

WIL: And then the target needs to make a wisdom saving throw.

MATT: All right. I will make that the ghost creature. That is a 16.

WIL: Yeah.

MATT: What’s the DC on it?

WIL: I don’t know. It doesn’t say.

MATT: Is this for your battlemaster, for goading attack?

WIL: Yeah.

MATT: Goading attack with battlemaster.

WIL: Sorry, nerds. I don’t play this version.

LIAM: Would it be his wisdom?

WIL: My wisdom saving throw is two. My wisdom is plus two.

MATT: Okay. Oh, the DC is eight plus your proficiency bonus, which would be 12, plus your– what’s your strength modifier?

WIL: Four.

MATT: Four, so that’d be 16. 16. So yeah, it just makes the saving throw.

WIL: Oh. Well. Glad I wounded my friend for no good reason. Okay.

MARISHA: It makes its saving throw?

WIL: So it makes its saving throw, so nothing happens.

MATT: Right, so that was your first two strikes.

MARISHA: So he just punched me for no reason?

WIL: Yeah, I’m not going to make my third attack. I don’t want to hurt anybody.

MATT: Vax, you don’t get a turn. You are unable to control your body, and you also do not get a saving throw. You are considered possessed. Kash, you’re up.

WILL: I don’t know if this is possible. Can I use Banishment and target one of the ghosts that’s actually possessing them?

MATT: You have no way of knowing how to target the creature. There is no visual or physical form. You just see your friend with a glazed-over look in the eyes, and that cold sensation around them. You have some experience with undead, and you know you have some tools against them, but Banishment is something that you have no way of targeting the spirit within them. You would have to target them physically.

WILL: I think what you said was right; we might have to knock them out. So maybe we target one at a time? I hold Vax, and you come in.

MARISHA: I have 13 hit points.

ORION: Yeah, you should definitely–

WILL: Should do that. Okay. Yeah, I’m going to cast Hold Person, and I’m going to hold Vax as tight as I can.

MATT: All right. What’s the spell DC for you?

WILL: It is 16.

MATT: And is that wisdom saving throw on that?

WILL: Is that right?

MATT: Let’s see, Hold Person. Wisdom, all right. Go ahead and make a will saving throw, Vax. Or wisdom saving throw.

MARISHA: Fail it. Something I’ll never say to you.

LIAM: 17.

MATT: 17.

MARISHA: What’s his DC? What’s your DC? Or is it versus his wisdom?

WILL: 16.

MATT: 16. Defeats it. The spell effect shimmers off.

LIAM: Right now, me and ghost in my mind are doing that scene from Ghost with the pottery.

WILL: And my spell just can’t get to you. Damn it.

MATT: All right, so that finishes your turn. Do you want to move anywhere, or are you going to stay where you are?

WILL: Yeah, I think I’m going to have to tuck tail and run. Let’s try to split them up, at least, if we can.

MATT: Okay. Which way do you want to go?

WILL: Really? You want to get them together? Then let’s do that. All right, fair enough. Let’s get them together.

ORION: Over here, Kashaw!

WILL: Yeah. Let’s move. I want to go with Stormdragon.

MATT: As you move back, Keyleth, you get an attack of opportunity on him. Go ahead and roll an attack with your staff.

MARISHA: Sorry, Cashew. Ooh, critical fail. I don’t want to!

WILL: I think she might like me!

MATT: As there is the mental struggle going on in Keyleth’s mind, this swing has extreme intensity and then halfway through, just streaks off and slams into the stone wall. Part of the staff splinters and breaks at the edge. It’s still functional, but definitely took a hit from the wall.

MARISHA: My favorite staff!

MATT: All right. That ends your turn. Keyleth, you lose your turn. Up at the top of the round, Tiberius.

MARISHA: Can we not try and save from it? We can’t do shit? We’re just on auto-pilot, at this point?

MATT: Does anyone here at the top of this round want to make a religion check? Does anyone here want to make a religion check?

WILL: Might as well, right?

MATT: Yeah, you’ve had some experience with death and undeath in your history.

ORION: 20?

MATT: 20. Not you.

WILL: So plus seven. It’s a six. No, it was nine. 16.

MATT: 16. Okay. You’ve heard of certain creatures, ghosts, that can possess certain entities. When a creature is possessed, you know from your experience that it is very difficult to remove the possession unless it’s through some sort of a ritual that forces undead away, or if the actual person is brought to unconsciousness and near death themself. Tiberius, you have the same visual on this, though a little part of your brain says, wait. You’ve seen Pike do something that scared undead before. Top of the round, brings us to Tiberius.

ORION: I take no pleasure in this. I cast Obelisk of Stone and crush them.

MARISHA: Crush who?

ORION: Both of them.

MATT: You don’t have visual on Vax, currently. There’s a wall.

ORION: I’ll move forward and then do it.

MATT: Okay. You move up to there and do it?

ORION: Or as close as I can, as far away as I can see Vax.

MATT: Cool. So currently, these two stone pillars slam and crush both of you towards the ceiling.

LIAM: No, Tiberius– !

MATT: Well, it’s a dexterity saving throw, right? So both of you make a dexterity saving throw.

LIAM: I rolled 22.

MARISHA: It’s not going to be good. Yeah, I rolled an 18.

MATT: So take half damage.

ORION: No, they take the damage. They’re not pinned. They just take the damage.

MATT: So they both take the damage.

MARISHA: Probably unconscious.

ORION: 31 points of damage.

MARISHA: I’m unconscious.

MATT: Keyleth, you fall unconscious on the ground, forcing the spiritual entity out of your body.

ORION: I’m going to spend two sorcery points to quicken a spell and then cast Scorching Ray right at it. (fire blasts)

MATT: Okay. Go for it. So go ahead and roll for the attack on each of them. Since it was forced out, it is not in melee with you because it is far enough away, so you straight roll for these.

ORION: What is that? Oh, plus my spell attack. Okay, so 16 was one, 19, and 19.

MATT: All hit. Go ahead and roll damage for each. Just give me a total damage.

ORION: Two, four, six.

LIAM: Rock that math, come on.

ORION: Okay, that’s ten and 15, and then 18, 23.

MATT: 23? Okay. You release all three Scorching Rays blasting into the ghost. It’s impacting, but the bursts seem to detonate through it. You can see it’s taking the hits, but it seems almost like because of its ethereal form, it’s not feeling the full brunt of the attacks. It’s affected by it, and you can see its form being shuddered around by it, but it’s not as effective as you’re used to them being. That ends your turn, Tiberius. This creature here. Okay, it does not regain its possession ability. It is going to use Horrifying Visage. All of a sudden, the ghost (roars) Ghostbusters style. It grows and it’s just a horrible screaming entity. I need all of you except for Vax to go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw.

ORION: That’s negative. That’s 16.

MATT: 16?

WIL: 13.

WILL: 12.

MATT: 12. All of you guys manage to shrug off the effect. You, however. There’s something about the way it screamed that for a moment, you swear it had a face similar to Vesh from your wedding night. It clutches your heart, and you are considered frightened for the next minute. That means you cannot move closer to it, and your attacks against it are at a disadvantage until you shrug it off. All right, then the possessed Vax is going to, as his bonus action, attempt to make a stealth check and back out of the way. Goes against the wall. If I could have Thorbir and Tiberius make perception checks.

LIAM: Don’t I make a stealth check?

MATT: I’m making it for you.

WIL: Oh, look at that!

LIAM: He got 19!

MARISHA: Oh my god!

WIL: All right. 24.

MATT: 24. Nice.

ORION: I failed.

MATT: You failed? Okay. You see, out of the corner of your eye, a couple of footsteps as Vax comes rushing up. You do not see it, though, and as Vax turns the corner right here, brings out the daggers and goes towards Tiberius, out of the corner of your eye, you see a flash of light. Actually, no. You make the attack roll on this. Attack roll against Tiberius.

LIAM: Oh, yeah.

MATT: Okay.

ORION: Wait, he has to roll at disadvantage. Cloak.

MATT: Right, but he has advantage on you because you didn’t see him, so it cancels it out.

LIAM: That’s true, yeah. My cloak gives you disadvantage.

MATT: All right, so go ahead and roll with sneak attack damage against Tiberius.

LIAM: Okay. That is a nine plus five, ten, 22, 24. That’s 33.

MATT: 33 points of piercing damage against you.

ORION: What’s half of that?

MATT: No Stoneskin. You’ve already cast a concentration spell. Right, but when you cast one, the other one lasts for two more rounds, and you started with True Strike.

MARISHA: It’s also been way over a minute.

ORION: It’s an hour-long spell. I can still hold another one and do a different one, and hold the other spell.

MATT: How it works is whenever you cast a new concentration spell, the other one lasts for two rounds, and then vanishes. I think this should be the last round that you have it, because it’s been two rounds since you moved back. So this would be the last round that you have it. So you still have it, but it fades after this round. So halve that.

ORION: That’s 16? 17 points?

MATT: Actually, and Stoneskin only works against non-magical. So no, you take full damage because his daggers are magic.

ORION: Both daggers are magical?

MATT: All of his daggers are magical.

MARISHA: Yeah, we’re only rolling with magical weapons at this point, yo.

MATT: So you take full damage.

ORION: Okay, cool. That’s actually great to know. I’m actually happy about that.

MATT: And you do not have your bonus action because you used that to hide. So that’s the one attack you got. That round’s over.

LIAM: There’s no save or anything?

MATT: Not for this. Not until someone somehow forces the undead entity out of your body or drops you to zero hit points.

LIAM: Let’s go to the bar.

MATT: All right. That brings us to Thorbir.

WIL: (sighs) If I see this correctly, there’s this spectral creature in front of me and my possessed friend to my left. Is that right?

MATT: Correct. Actually, Keyleth, make a saving throw.

MARISHA: I’m unconscious. Oh, right. Because I’m unconscious. Seven.

MATT: Mark off a death saving throw. Thorbir?

WIL: Okay. Thorbir is going to– I’m sorry. 16.

MATT: Total of 16?

WIL: Yeah, total of 16.

LIAM: 17.

MATT: 17. Whiffs. He’s too fast. He ducks underneath the depth of the axe swing.

WIL: Okay. Second attack. 18?

MATT: 18 will hit. Go ahead and roll damage on that.

WIL: And I want to do that same thing.

MATT: Goading attack? Okay.

WIL: Sorry, no. Those are 20-siders. I’m like, how did I roll a 19 on a d12? 15 plus six. 21.

MATT: Are you rolling 2d12 for damage on that?

WIL: Yeah. My damage is 2d12 plus six slashing damage.

MATT: For a great axe, I think it should be 1d12. I’m pretty sure.

WIL: I’m happy to make it 1d12.

MATT: (laughs) Just as a note, yeah. The great axe is 1d12 damage.

WIL: Oh. Well, I don’t know why it says 2d12, then.

MATT: That’s okay.

WIL: All right, so that’s ten.

MATT: So ten damage to you. Goading attack, it failed its saving throw. It rolled an 11. It failed its saving throw. As you slam, you can see the spiritual anger in the eyes (growls) turn towards you, and it’s focused on you at the moment. WIL: And I’m going to make my third attack. So everyone knows that things have gotten back to normal.

WILL: The world is right again!

WIL: Everything’s fine.

MATT: The third strike, you swing and you swear it’s going right for the torso of Vax, and for a second you almost want to restrain because you’re afraid of what it’s going to do, before all of a sudden both daggers catch the axe in midair and scissor-hold it before it shoves off the blade. However, it does appear to be focused on you. Does that end your turn?

WIL: Oh, I’m sorry. I’m supposed to expend another superiority die. I’m sorry, this is a whole new mechanic.

MATT: That’s okay. It’s a new mechanic for me, too.

WIL: Okay, so I add one more to my damage roll, and that was it. That was the only attack that landed.

MATT: All right, that brings us to Brother Kash.

WILL: Who still can’t move, correct?

MATT: You can’t move closer.

WILL: Well, what I’d like to do is, if I know I’m going to be rolling everything essentially at a disadvantage, I’d like to at least help the people that are still standing as much as I can, so I’d like to Bless Stormwind and Thorbir. And can I do myself, as well? It’s up to three creatures.

MATT: Then yes, you can.

WILL: And myself, as well.

MATT: Okay, so you are all currently affected by a Bless spell. What a Bless spell does– if you want to read it real fast.

WILL: Bless up to three creatures of your choice within range. Whenever a target makes an attack roll or a saving throw before the spell ends, the target can roll a d4 and add the number rolled to the attack roll or saving throw.

LIAM: It’s hard to accept love from others when you hate yourself.

WIL: No one hates themselves as much as I do.

MATT: All right, so do you want to move?

WILL: I can only move back and forth, right? Then let me stay there so I can concentrate as much as I can on holding the blessing.

MARISHA: An attack roll or saving throw?

MATT: Yes.

MARISHA: Can he target me? And would it work for my saving throws?

MATT: I think you have to be a conscious creature for the Bless spell to affect you. You do, however, get your saving throw at the end of your turn to try to shrug off the fright, so roll that. And you can add a d4 to it.

WILL: So it’s a d20 plus a four.

MATT: Yeah, with your wisdom, and then add a d4 to it.

WILL: 19. Was that right? And wait, it’s for wisdom?

MATT: Yes.

WILL: So it’s 19, then, plus– where is wisdom? Plus nine, so 28.

MATT: Okay, yeah.

WILL: Plus d4, right?

MATT: Plus d4 if you want to add it. Go for it.

WILL: One. 29.

MATT: You slam your foot into the ground for a second and focus, and for a second the divine energy pulses through your body, and you let a little bit of Vesh’s essence seep into you, against your better judgment. It gives you that sense of bravery to shrug off the fear you felt, and for a second there, you’re like, as a healing cleric, undead should be afraid of you. And you remember that there’s an ability that you have called Turn Undead that may come in handy, going forward. That ends your turn. Keyleth, make another saving throw.

MARISHA: (sighs) Let’s use this one. This is a big, shiny die. 17.

MATT: 17? Okay. So you’re still unconscious.

MARISHA: I’m good!

MATT: Tiberius, you’re up. (louder) Tiberius! You’re up.

ORION: Keyleth is right next to me, right?

MATT: She’s currently on the ground. You can see a little bit of blood trickling out the corner of her mouth from the injury she sustained from the crushing pillar. You can see a little of the light fading from her eyes.

ORION: Vax is right next to me, also? Can I move, probably take a hit from him, and drag her with me?

MATT: You can do that, yeah. That will be your whole turn, but yeah, you can do that.

ORION: That’s what I choose to do.

MATT: Okay. So Tiberius, you reach down, you grab Keyleth’s body, and you pull her back through the hallway. You can get her, probably about half-speed, which is 30, so 15 feet. That far back, out of the fray. Go ahead and make an attack of opportunity against Tiberius as he moves away.

LIAM: Okay. That’s shit. I rolled a 12.

MATT: Total of 12? Okay. As you swing back, you dodge out of the way as you’re pulling her along the floor. That’s your turn. This ghost entity here does not get its possession back. It’s going to make a Withering Touch against you, Thorbir.

WIL: Damn it!

MATT: With a 13.

WIL: Against my–

MATT: Yeah.

WIL: No. 20.

MATT: As you reach out, you manage to pull back with your axe and swing in its direction. It dissipates its form for a second, and the attack whiffs through the air. However, as you pull on that side, Vax comes up from behind you. I want you to go ahead and do two attacks against Thorbir, with advantage.

LIAM: With advantage on both attacks or one?

MATT: You currently have him flanked.

LIAM: Because of my ghost friend.

MATT: Yes.

LIAM: So the first is high.

MATT: That hits.

LIAM: 28. Second is a one.

MATT: And another roll. They both have advantage because you have him flanked.

LIAM: Come on, one. (mutters) 19.

MATT: Okay, so roll damage for both. First one with sneak attack.

LIAM: Doesn’t he have an armor class of 20? Doesn’t one of them miss? Wouldn’t a 19 miss his 20 armor?

MATT: It was a total 19. I thought you rolled a 19.

LIAM: No, one was a total 19.

MATT: Oh, then the second one doesn’t hit. Just the first one does.

LIAM: So the first one does, and that is– okay, that’s the lowest this could possibly be. Seven plus nine, 12, 16, 17, 24.

WIL: Ouch. That’s a lot of damage.

MATT: All right, that ends the ghosts’ turn. Thorbir, you’re up. You’ve now got the attention of both spiritual entities and your possessed friend, and they’re both swarming around you at the moment.

WIL: Okay, great. I have this deal. (chuckles) I’m sorry, I don’t remember what it’s called. I have a maneuver where if I hit a thing, I can hit a second thing. Let’s just see if I hit. I’m going to go ahead and try to hit Vax again.

MATT: Okay.

WIL: Two is probably not going to hit him. Probably not going to happen. I’m thinking two’s probably not going to be– it’s a total of 12, but I’m still pretty confident that 12 doesn’t hit him. Yeah. I’m pretty sure that misses. Okay, let’s try again. I get three attacks. That’s right. Let’s see here. Oh, a four. Okay, so four. Let’s see, so that’s 14. So I’m thinking the 14 is probably not going to hit him. All right, let’s try one more time. Come on, right? And oh, that’s a seven. So that’s a 17.

LIAM: Tag.

WIL: Oh!

MATT: You find purchase with your third strike with your axe.

WIL: I just need time to warm up! I’m thinking about my daughter. So I guess I hit you.

LIAM: I don’t like this game. I don’t really like this episode.

WIL: I make a precision attack, so I can add one more die to the roll.

LIAM: Come on, clock me, War and Peace. Let’s do this.

WIL: I’m working on it.

MARISHA: War and Peace?

WIL: Oh, good. So that’s a one on the d12, plus six, seven, plus nine is 16.

MATT: 16 points of slashing damage to you.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: Do you wish to move, or are you going to stay where you are, Thorbir?

WIL: I would like to no longer be flanked by them, if that’s at all possible. So I will move back. Sure.

MATT: I’ll say you can move there pretty safely. Move the other way. All right, that brings us to Kashaw.

WILL: Okay. I’m going to Channel Divinity: Turn Undead.

MATT: Turn Undead. Okay, what’s the radius on that?

WILL: 30 feet.

MATT: 30 feet. You’re probably going to have to move a little closer to get them both in there.

WILL: I want to get as close as I can, right on the 30-foot radius.

MATT: All right. Not a problem. So you’re going to go ahead and Turn Undead. As you reach up and grab your holy symbol, pulling it out from under your armor once again, clutching it tightly, you can feel the blood begin to pour from the inside of your hand, you’re holding it so hard. And with a flash of extremely vibrant white light with this strange halo of pitch black that surrounds it, a force wave billows out from you throughout the hallway. For a brief moment, you see Vax look over, and his eyes widen for a second as the blast wave hits him.

WILL: You’re stronger than that.

LIAM: You have a fan.

WILL: I just think it would be funny. Hit pedals like a guitar. You can just change your thing. Fan. Rain.

MATT: Both fail. All right. So suddenly, as the blast wave hits Vax, the spirit is forced out of his body against the wall. It pushes it out, and all of a sudden, you have control of your form again. Blown against the wall, and they both halfway slide into the wall. They both have a severe look of fear on their face. That’s going to end your turn. Keyleth, make another saving throw.

MARISHA: Eight.

MATT: So a second failed death saving throw.

MARISHA: Someone pump some life into me!

MATT: Tiberius.

ORION: Yeah, I’m going to pop one of my simple potions.

MATT: Okay, just the level one?

ORION: Yeah.

MATT: All right, go ahead and roll. That is 2d4 plus two.

ORION: Okay. That’s seven.

MATT: Seven? Okay, you heal seven hit points. You come to consciousness.

MARISHA: (gasps)

MATT: You get rid of the saving throws. You look around. Your eyes focus and you can see now, there’s these two glowing entities, the ghosts that attacked. The one that was inside you is now over against the wall and looks like it’s dissipating and is extremely frightened by something.

ORION: Can I use the rest of my turn to help her up?

MATT: Sure. You go ahead and prop her up to her feet.

ORION: All right, and that’s my turn.

MATT: Okay. For their turn, they both fade into the wall and vanish from sight.

MARISHA: They were so cold.

MATT: So all of you take a moment of stillness, as the spiritual entities seem to have vanished into the wall.

MARISHA: Oh, they left?

MATT: They left after he blasted them with his shockwave of positive energy. They just went into the wall.

MARISHA: You scared them with positive energy?

WILL: Unfortunately, the only kind of energy I’m allowed to use, most of the time.

LIAM: You told me, when I pick-pocketed that guy topside, it was a healing potion. It was blue, right? That’s what you told me.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: I’m pulling that out of my pocket and walking over to that door in a daze and I just down it, push the door open with my foot.

MATT: Okay. That is a greater healing potion. 4d4 plus four.

ORION and MARISHA: Are you moving forward?

LIAM: No. Well, yeah. Sort of.

ORION: Vex, no! Stop! What are you doing?

LIAM: My name is Vax! And I keep going.

ORION: That’s what I said.

MATT: Okay, you kick the door open. You have very little light source in here, but with your vision, you manage to look in past there, and it looks like it’s a hallway that was once used for storage of some kind, but the first thing that catches you is that strange chemical smell is extremely strong in this room, and your eyes burn as soon as the doorway opens and you have to close your eyes. Thorbir, you see Vax kick the door open.

MARISHA: Wait. Vax, slow down.

WIL: I follow him.

MARISHA: You guys.

ORION: I do not follow.

MATT: You do not follow? Okay, Tiberius stays back. You guys are all staying there?

WILL: I’d like to call everyone together, if I could, first. Let’s take a moment.

LIAM: I’m just looking. I take another potion, because I have one more. And I’m going to look down the hall.

WIL: Wait, friend. I give him a potion of superior healing.

WILL: You know I’m a healer, right? You can save your potions.

LIAM: Save it. What’s that? Superior is a 4d4?

MATT: Superior’s another 4d4, yeah. You guys can take a short rest, if you wish to, and also use your hit dice.

MARISHA: Can I get some healing? Will you use some of that positive energy on me?

WILL: Of course I will.

ORION: I will go no further until I take a proper rest.

LIAM: I’m just going to look down that hall.

MATT: Okay. Both of you guys, as you enter the room, and your Darkvision looks out, you see the room that has that strong chemical scent, parts of the wall have crumbled in sections, ruining this long, empty hallway. You can see there are elements of broken boxes and crates that have been sundered or removed or destroyed in the collapse. But what catches your attention, too, is a large portion of the floor seems to be lower than the rest of it. There is some sort of a liquid that has largely overtaken the entirety of this room. Something has seeped through from some unseen source, and has slowly, over time, dissolved a large pit into the center of this hallway. This dull yellowish-green liquid now fills the entirety of the center portion of this hallway for a good, let’s say, about that distance, there.

LIAM: Okay. I put my hand on Thorbir’s hand and guide him back out and shut the door and say, it’s fucking acid in that room. I just sit on the ground.

WIL: Of course it is.

MARISHA: Vax?

LIAM: I’m back in the hall with you. Acid-filled room. I’m going to rest. Let’s all just take a breather.

MARISHA: Can we make camp? I’m hurting really bad.

WILL: Let’s take a moment here.

ORION: I agree. We’ve been hit pretty hard, pretty quickly.

LIAM: Do you want to camp, or do you want to take a breather?

MARISHA: Just take a rest. Actually, I have something that I think will make us all feel better. And I prepare a Heroes’ Feast.

ORION: You have those?

MARISHA: I do now.

ORION: What does that do?

MARISHA: I’ll tell you.

ORION: Are there bananas?

LIAM: It’s a 20-foot-long hoagie.

MARISHA: Yes, it’s the 20-foot-long Subway dealio.

WILL: No, not Subway.

LIAM: Too soon.

(laughter)

MATT: Marisha. Just a heads-up. One of the material components is a gem-encrusted bowl that costs 1000 gold pieces that is consumed by it. You can totally cast this, but you’ll have to deduct a thousand gold off your personal gold supply.

WILL: How much money have you got?

MARISHA: Like 3k, I think.

WILL: You have 3k? You said you were single?

MARISHA: All right, fine. I’ll do it.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: You guys, I’ve just had a near-death experience. I’ve been craving some lasagna. Okay? So I’m going to make some of the best goddamn lasagna we’ve ever had in our life. I’m going to spend a thousand dollars and make some amazing fucking lasagna.

ORION: What are dollars?

MARISHA: A thousand gold.

WILL: What’s lasagna?

LIAM: It’s a tribal food that her people eat. It’s vegetarian.

WILL: If she’s spending the money, I’ll eat.

MATT: So as you guys take a few moments to tend to your wounds and catch your breath, Keyleth finds a section of the center of this dank, dreary prison and concentrates, taking this gem-encrusted bowl and setting it in the center of the floor. As time goes on, you begin to see this strange, shimmering energy in the center of the room. At the end of the ritual, she raises her hand in the air, and through a plume of whitish-silver smoke that slowly dissipates, you can now see there is a long table. A very well-crafted table in the center of the room, with chairs and benches, and an extremely well-prepared, incredible-smelling meal. Fruits and breads and meats all just strewn about this table in the center of this prison.

MARISHA: Okay, everybody. Close your eyes. Okay? Tiberius, will you make the little forks dance for me with Mage Hand?

ORION: Sure.

MARISHA: Okay. Are you guys ready? (singing) Be our guest, be our guest, put our service to the test!

WILL: Is this a thing? Is this happening right now?

MARISHA: Look, I’m making a musical out of our food. People pay a lot of money for this.

LIAM: She set it out. Have a seat. Eat the food.

ORION: Thank you, Keyleth.

MARISHA: I thought that was funny.

LIAM: I just start eating. I’m wiped out.

MATT: All right. You guys can use as many hit dice as you want to heal yourself. If you check on your sheet, it has a hit dice number. Use those to heal yourself naturally.

MARISHA: So after we eat all of this food, we are cured of all diseases and poisons. We become immune to poison and being frightened, and all of our wisdom saving throws have advantage. Also, our maximum hit points increase by 2d10.

WILL: For how long?

MARISHA: 24 hours. And you gain the same number of hit points. So don’t spend any of your hit dice. We’re going to eat our way to health.

MATT: Well, no. You still spend your hit dice. Meaning, you gain 2d10 hit points.

MARISHA: And it gains the same number of hit points. Oh.

MATT: So you increase the maximum and you heal up what you gained.

MARISHA: Okay. I see what it means.

WILL: So how do you heal yourself, then?

MATT: Where it says hit dice, on your page? It should be toward the middle, right above your attacks.

WILL: Yeah.

MATT: You can spend up to your top level and you roll a dice with the number you have for your hit dice, and you heal that much. So what’s the number that you have there?

WILL: Total is 11. 1d8 plus three.

MATT: So you can spend up to 11 if you want to, and heal up that much naturally.

WILL: But I wasn’t taking any damage. That’s the thing.

MATT: Then you don’t have to worry about it. You’re fine.

MARISHA: Why did you burn all of your sorcerer points? We told you not to burn all of your sorcerer points. We don’t have time to sit here and take a full rest.

WILL: I can still cure everybody, you know. I can heal everybody. The wounds.

MATT: Use your hit dice to heal yourself. You commence on the meal, and it is a very delightful meal.

MARISHA: You can ask the group, but I have a feeling that Vax and Thorbir aren’t going to want to take a full rest down here.

LIAM: He’s going to get gone. That guy or that gal.

WILL: Both of them.

WIL: It’s a thing.

LIAM: I don’t want to go on a date with it. I want to kill it.

WILL: So while we’re sitting here, can I cast Locate Creature? Oh, wait. Here’s a question that I have. How much time has passed since the last time I cast it?

MATT: I’d say, with shopping time, it’s probably been about six hours.

LIAM: We’re on the clock, here.

MATT: How long does it last?

ORION: We’re still on day one.

WILL: It lasts for up to an hour.

MATT: So yeah, you’d have to re-cast it.

WILL: Yeah. But that’s my question. My level-4 spells, I cast three of them last game, so do I get those back for this one? They’re gone, right? I can’t cast. So that’s what I thought. I can’t cast Locate Creature. I wish I could help.

MATT: Yeah, Locate Creature currently cannot be cast. You spent all your 4th level.

LIAM: How long does everything last from that feast, Keyleth?

MARISHA: 24 hours. So we can still take a long rest and still have benefits from the feast. It lasts for 24 hours.

WIL: If we wait, it escapes.

WILL: He’s a day longer away, and we only have three days to do this.

WIL: And who’s to say more guards won’t come down. How will we explain ourselves to them? And what if those things come back?

MARISHA: I actually have a Locate Creature spell. I can do it.

ORION: Well, I’ll tell you this, everyone. I have only a limited amount of spells left to be effective in a fight against a creature like this. I have no melee offenses towards this creature, whatsoever, so that’s going to be up to you with magical weapons and whatnot, I’m assuming. I’m virtually tapped out of all my spells. So is the cleric, as well. So if we move forward, that’s fine. We’re only six hours in on the first day of this contract.

MARISHA: Well, the cleric is burned out of 4th-level spells. Cleric is good.

WILL: It’s time or it’s strength. That’s what we’re talking about. We wait and we go in, fully charged. Or we go now and we have a much better chance of catching up to it, but weakened.

ORION: I will follow the group.

WILL: As will I.

WILL: You’re in charge. What do you say?

WIL: Oh, now I’m in charge?

WILL: You’ve always been in charge. Because you chose not to lead was your own fault.

WIL: We go.

WILL: We go.

MARISHA: Can I get another healing spell, then, Cashew?

WILL: Why don’t I do Mass Cure Wounds on everybody?

MARISHA: Oh, that would be great.

LIAM: I’m already good.

WILL: You’re good?

LIAM: Yeah. I flip my last potion to Keyleth. It’s a superior.

MARISHA: So what are those? 2d8?

MATT: It’s 8d4 plus eight. Did you use your hit dice to heal yourself?

MARISHA: I did. 8d4?

MATT: 8d4 plus eight. Big heal.

WILL: Let’s see if you’re even going to need me to mass cure.

MARISHA: (quietly) Let me get more d4s out. I’ll do this twice. That will be enough. Four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. Oh, that’s good. Eight, so that’s 15, 19, 22, plus another eight?

MATT: Plus another eight, yeah.

MARISHA: So 30. Cool. Awesome.

WILL: So is everybody good? Anybody need healing?

ORION: I’m fine.

WILL: You sure?

MARISHA: I mean, you knew we were on a time crunch, Tiberius.

ORION: We have days left.

MARISHA: We were chasing him down a hall.

LIAM: We don’t have an egg timer. He just ran down here. He could fly to Timbuktu. Go to Kraghammer. Hang out with Johnny Kraghammer.

ORION: (laughs) I like Johnny Kraghammer.

WILL: Johnny Kraghammer.

LIAM: Long story, Kash. Let’s go. I’m going to slowly push that door open and try to use perception in the room.

MATT: In this room?

LIAM: Yeah. If that crud is moving.

MATT: Okay. Were you about to do something, Keyleth?

LIAM: And try to see a door on the far end.

MARISHA: Actually, you know what? Here’s what I’m going to do instead. Let me double-check and make sure I can do this.

MATT: As you look inside, you walk up to the liquid. It looks like there is a very slow flow to it, coming at an angle. It’s very thick and looks like it’s melted through the basis of the floor and almost like it would continue under, around, and out of this room into whatever is beyond. You get a feeling there is something to why this part of the prison was probably abandoned.

LIAM: Wait a tick. Wait a sec. I back out slowly, and I’m going to creep back to the other door. That other one, yeah. Perception check there, as well. That’s 16.

MATT: Okay. The door is not currently locked.

LIAM: Okay, and does that count for the traps, as well?

MATT: Yeah, it’s not trapped, either.

LIAM: Okay, so I’m going to open it an inch and see what I can see.

MATT: Look inside. There is a large collapsed pile of rubble. Whatever this room once was has entirely collapsed on itself. You can see, it’s pushed up against the door. Something made this room inert, and it’s not currently functional.

LIAM: Acid, it is.

WILL: Acid alley is the only way to go.

WIL: Wait, there’s a door at the end of this hallway.

LIAM: That’s what I just looked in.

WIL: A third door.

LIAM: Oh, a third door. I thought there was two.

WIL: There’s a third door. I once knew someone who met a bad fate in acid. I would prefer to not encounter it myself.

ORION: Yes, I agree.

WIL: He was a good man.

ORION: I heard he was brave. Very brave.

WILL: I never heard about this. How did you hear about this?

WIL: He was a good man who was murdered by the gods.

ORION: It is legend.

WILL: The acid guy is legend? All right.

WIL: I go walking down the hallway, this way.

MATT: Okay. Keyleth, what are you doing? You’re meditating?

MARISHA: Let me wait until he opens this door.

MATT: Okay.

WIL: I’ll make a perception check at that door.

MATT: Go for it.

WIL: 11.

MATT: All right. The door does not appear to be trapped. You don’t know if it’s locked yet. It’s hard to tell.

LIAM: Just, allow me. You’re strong.

WIL: That’s what they say.

LIAM: That’s 27.

MATT: It is also, from your perspective, not locked or trapped.

MARISHA: Okay, now I’m going to drop to my knees and cast Locate Creature.

MATT: Okay. As you’re finishing your small ritual for Locate Creature, you open up the door, and it is a spiral staircase that leads upward. You get the sensation this is where those earlier Bastions were coming from.

WILL: No acid.

MATT: No acid in this room, no.

MARISHA: Just a staircase up?

MATT: You finish Locate Creature, and you sit there, and you can sense, grasping on that one encounter you had with the rakshasa, though it was still disguised as a dwarf, and the descriptor you have. And you recognize this immediately. This is the same type of ritual that you did earlier, and so there’s now this weird, synchronous moment that you share magical knowledge.

WILL: And she has money.

MATT: And she has money. Though a thousand less, now. You finish your concentration for a second, and the divine energy pulls you in a direction, and it pulls you in the direction of this way.

MARISHA: I’m sorry. I think we’re going to need to go through the acid.

WIL: Very well.

LIAM: My armor is resistant to acid. Let me lead the way. Is there any shit sitting around? Any rubbish?

MATT: There are clumps of what looks like a destroyed crate, pieces of stone that have fallen from the partially collapsed walls.

LIAM: I’m going to pull up a plank of that crate.

ORION: As he’s doing this, I cast Fly on Thorbir, Keyleth, the cleric, and Vax. And myself.

MATT: You can only cast it on three people.

ORION: I can cast it at 6th level.

MATT: 6th level. It’s one additional person per spell level.

ORION: I’m terrible at math. Not Vax.

WIL: With your math and my rolling, we are a formidable team.

ORION: Us four.

MATT: All right. It’s a 3rd-level spell, so you can do four. Okay. So against who?

LIAM: Everyone but me.

MATT: Everyone but you. Okay. So.

MARISHA: Oh, wait. We brought the flying carpet with us. It’s in your Bag of Holding.

WILL: You have a flying carpet?

ORION: Oh. Yes.

LIAM: Well, there’s that.

WILL: That would be helpful. To fly over things. Like pools of acid.

MARISHA: Why don’t we pull that out?

WILL: Yeah. That’s a good idea.

MATT: As you’re pulling out the flying carpet, we’re going to go ahead and take a break. Quick restroom break for about five minutes or so, and we’ll come right back to continue as they enter the room with a rather large pit of acid. We’ll be back in five minutes, guys. See you in a second.

MARISHA: Acid pit!

Break
[break]

Part II
MATT: Welcome back, guys! Before we get back to the game, Orion, you want to talk

about that video?

ORION: Yeah. That Disney princess shit you saw was Lewberger, and they’re playing tomorrow at Gather

Your Party on this channel, and I will be performing songs with Alex Lewis, who’s half of

Lewberger, and I get to call Zac a dumdum for once. Zac the dumdum played the one video that I’m

not in.

ZAC: Technically, the video I was sent ten minutes before show started.

ORION: Was through Alex, so he’s the dumdum now. Sorry about that, for the confusion. That’s what’s

going on. You’ll see me dance like a monkey tomorrow.

MATT: Yeah. That’s okay. It was a hell of a way to break the tension, so it worked out well. All

right, so as the rest of you have found your way into this long, partially eroded hallway

containing this thick green viscous liquid, you have pulled out the flying carpet?

MARISHA: Yes. We all fit on it, right?

ORION: Oh yeah, we can all get on this one.

LIAM: Do you maybe want to sparrow across, Keyleth?

MARISHA: Oh! We took a short rest. I could.

LIAM: Then I get to come.

WIL: What’s happening?

MATT and MARISHA: We have flying carpets.

MATT: Built by some of our amazing Critters. I’m going to go ahead and go with the crocheted one

tonight.

WIL: That’s fantastic.

WILL: Crocheting is fantastic, and a wonderful way to spend your time.

WIL: You guys have the best fans.

MATT: We really do.

LIAM: You guys are pretty great.

MARISHA: Okay, we all fit! We’re good.

LIAM: Oh, we all fit on it? Oh, look at that.

MARISHA: Let’s go.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Onward!

MATT: You drift down the hallway on the flying carpet.

LIAM: Staring at the slime on the ground.

MATT: The air itself, like I said, it hurts. You have to continuously rub your eyes

and keep them shut.

MARISHA: I make a nice little wind zephyr to give us a little airflow.

MATT: Okay. As you move partway through this section, everyone make a perception check.

ORION: Oh, natural 20.

WILL: Nice.

WILL: 19.

MARISHA: 19.

MATT: Who’s helming the magic carpet, by the way?

LIAM: Looks like Kash is.

ORION: I am helming the damn magic carpet, of course.

MATT: All right. So you’re helming the magic carpet.

WIL: I rolled a six plus a 12 total, 12.

MATT: And you rolled a total of what?

ORION: Natural 20.

MATT: Natural 20.

LIAM: 26.

MATT: So pulling forward, as you come around through the sections of the wall that are

collapsed in rubble, you notice that there are some sigils in the wall. Two-foot-high

carved-stone sigils about five feet ahead of you guys. There’s one on each side.

ORION: Are they infernal?

MATT: It is not infernal. They are arcane in nature, though. Make an arcana check.

LIAM: Sometimes I really hate this old-world shit.

WILL: Can I do a religion check on them?

MATT: You can, yes.

ORION: I got ten, so I figured.

WILL: 15.

MATT: Okay. There doesn’t appear to be much religious connotation to these symbols, but

they’re old, and it looks like they were placed there for a specific reason. That’s as much as you

can get from it.

LIAM: Can I make out any traps or anything in the ceilings or the walls?

MATT: You can make a perception check. Tiberius points it out to the rest of you guys, and you can

see it.

LIAM: But nothing in addition to that.

MATT: No. Especially for you, your experience doesn’t fall too much in the realm of the arcane.

MARISHA: Could I do a history check?

MATT: You can try.

MARISHA: Why not?

LIAM: How about handle animals, man?

MATT: Try every skill. Just go through the whole list.

MARISHA: 12.

MATT: Yeah, there’s nothing really historic about this, other than the fact that you’re in the

historic Amaranthine Oubliette prison here.

WIL: Did anyone make an arcana check? And we didn’t find anything out? Is this something that

my stonecunning skills would be relevant to?

MATT: It’s not structural. In looking at it, it looks like these were added to it once it was

built, although it is a storage room, so it’s strange that these would be placed in the center

of the room.

WIL: Would I make an insight check, perhaps? No, that doesn’t apply.

MATT: Insight’s more for individuals and motives.

MARISHA: Wisdom saving throws. Continue.

WIL: I just don’t want to be over this acid anymore.

MATT: Okay, so you push forward?

LIAM: It’s going to be all right.

WIL: That’s what my friend thought.

MATT: You push forward. You get about here as you’re passing through the two sigils, and there’s

a flash from the sigils. They glow bright, and it’s almost like two flashbulbs go off from side

to side. You stop. The carpet dips. As in, the carpet goes limp.

ORION: I cast Fly on all of us.

MATT: Okay. As the carpet goes limp, you all begin to plummet forward. You need to go ahead and make

a concentration check.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

MATT: It’s with your constitution modifier.

ORION: 16.

MATT: 16? Okay. So you cast Fly multiple times? People begin to lift up, and then the spell fades.

There is something about these sigils that is cancelling magic. However, the carpet is now going

limp and all of you are now plummeting down towards the acidic surface below. Your action was

casting Fly. There is one piece of open ground here that can fit maybe two people.

WIL: Thorbir dives for it.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Can I cast Wall of Stone and make a big stone underneath of us to support the carpet?

MATT: Go ahead and roll a concentration check.

MARISHA: Let’s use this one. Add my what?

MATT: Constitution saving throw, essentially, is what it is.

MARISHA: Constitution saving throw? Why?

MATT: This is to maintain your concentration as you’re falling.

MARISHA: 13.

MATT: Yeah. Unfortunately, due to the jostling, you’re unable to get the spell out in time.

Thorbir. Who else is jumping for the platform?

MARISHA: I go eagle.

MATT: Okay, you go eagle form. Keyleth catches herself before plummeting inside and goes giant

eagle form, gliding past without an issue. Tiberius is falling. I want you guys– Tiberius,

Thorbir, Vax, and Kash– to all make dexterity saving throws.

LIAM: Tell me how I would go about doing this. As I fall with the carpet, I want to try to pull up

on the carpet and land in the shit.

MATT: Okay. Make an acrobatics check.

LIAM: 27.

MATT: 27. All right. What was your dex?

WIL: 14.

MATT: 14.

ORION: 17.

MATT: 17.

WILL: 12.

MATT: 12. So Thorbir and Tiberius make it onto that small platform and barely catch yourself

before plummeting into the liquid. However, Brother Kash, you (splash). And it’s about

waist-deep from where you impact. (sizzling) Immediately, you feel this horrible corrosive

burning sensation. You, grabbing the carpet, lift and drift and come down into the section. This

section has eroded more, and you are about to go up to your shoulders. Immediately, the two of you

suffer 18 points of acid damage.

LIAM: I’m wearing acid-resistant armor.

MATT: So you take nine points instead.

MARISHA: Can I fly and pick up Brother Kash, as an eagle, and try and fly and drag him to the shore?

ORION: Don’t worry about him. Is he a gnome?

MARISHA: No, he’s a human.

ORION: Get the carpet from him instead.

MATT: You’re barely catching yourself. She’s over the other way right now. You, however, are

submerged in the liquid now.

LIAM: Am I under?

MATT: You’re having to tread. You are now underneath. Yep. You are completely submerged.

LIAM: Is the carpet with me?

MATT: Carpet is with you.

LIAM: Under the acid.

MATT: It is currently (sizzling) in the acid.

LIAM: Well, that did not work.

WILL: (laughs) No.

MARISHA: Wait, carpet’s in the acid?

MATT: With him, yes. You guys are still on the edge there. You reach over and grab him–

MARISHA: Grab the carpet. Grab the carpet with you, Kash!

WILL: (grunts) He reaches out and grabs the carpet, even though it’s sizzling.

MATT: The carpet takes 16 points of acid damage. As you’re taking your turn to pull it out as opposed

to trying to escape from that point, you take another 15 points of acid damage, until eventually

you’re pulled out from the entire pool and carried over to the other side and then dropped on the

other side, both of you guys pulling the carpet out. The carpet itself, its color has dampened.

Portions of the corners of the carpet have dissolved, and you can see the liquid on it is

still eating away at the actual fibers of the carpet. You’re still submerged. You take another

18 points of acid damage, reduced to nine again. Same as you took last time.

And what are you doing?

LIAM: Me? I’m trying to climb up onto the rock that is right there that I didn’t jump onto.

MATT: Right here? There’s only enough room for two people.

LIAM: Who’s on it now?

MATT: Currently, Tiberius and Thorbir.

LIAM: Well, I guess I’m swimming through acid, then.

MATT: You can try and get on there, but you’d probably push somebody else off.

LIAM: No, I’m just going to start wading towards the other side.

MATT: Okay. Athletics roll. It is a very thick, gloopy liquid.

LIAM: That’s all right because I rolled a 19, so that is a total of 21.

MATT: 21. That’ll be enough to get you just towards the edge and you (grunts) pull yourself

out onto the side of the stonework, taking a final 13 points of acid damage, halved because of your

armor. You take seven. (pants) On the side, both you and Kashaw are catching yourself, wiping it

off the parts of the flesh. You can see, there’s scarring on your skin from where the liquid began

to dissolve some of the flesh on the outer layers. The carpet itself is still (sizzling). The edges

of it are starting to burn away and dissolve.

MARISHA: Can you Prestidigitation that shit off?

MATT: He’s across the way right now, currently on the small platform with Thorbir. What are you guys

doing right now?

WIL: I want to look at the walls and see if there’s hand-holds or some other way that I can

try to go across the wall. You know, God of War style.

MATT: Looking at it, there are parts of the walls that have slowly become pockmarked from the

proximity of this caustic vitriol. They’re few and far between. You can attempt to do a leap,

parkour-style, but that would be a pretty hefty feat of acrobatics to do so.

WIL: Well, as you may know, acrobatics is something we heavy plate mail-wearing dwarves are

extraordinarily good at. Is she still an eagle? Eagle! Hey, eagle!

MARISHA: (caws)

MATT: Swoop over.

LIAM and MARISHA: (screech)

MATT: You grab Thorbir?

MARISHA: Actually, eagles sound like shit. They use a raptor or something like that. Eagles don’t

actually sound like that. Eagles are actually like, (weak squawk).

MATT: They use an actual raptor sound they record from the wild to dub the eagle.

WILL: They carry tiny little microphone things right here.

MATT: Yeah, they have to construct eagle noises in post.

WIL: It’s all part of the great eagle conspiracy.

WILL: It’s all Foley. Everything with an eagle. Frank Welker is the sound of every eagle that’s

ever been out there.

(laughter)

LIAM: I saw this great documentary about it on YouTube.

MATT: Giraffes, foxes, eagles.

WILL: It’s all Frank Welker.

WIL: Every other animal, Dee Bradley Baker.

ALL: Dee Bradley Baker!

(laughter)

MATT: So are you grabbing Tiberius or Thorbir?

MARISHA: Tiberius. (caws) Sorry! He’s more important. (caws)

ORION: I’ll take out my Mending Wheel when I land, and grab the carpet.

MARISHA: Fix that shit.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: And then I go back for Thorbir.

MATT: Okay. You take Thorbir and lift him back over. Magic carpet has sustained fairly hefty

damage and currently, the way you’re reading it, its enchantment is fading.

MARISHA: Hurry. Quick! Come on, Tiberius.

ORION: What, I’m fixing it! I’m using the Mending Wheel.

MATT: Okay. You take the Mending Wheel, and you set it up.

MARISHA: Maybe get the acid off it first.

ORION: I Prestidigitate it off, first. There.

WILL: How are you doing?

LIAM: I can walk. I can fight. I’m not as pretty.

WILL: Let’s heal.

MARISHA: And remember, if everyone rolled 2d12, you get that added to your maximum hit points,

from your meal.

WIL: Thorbir is pushing himself back as far away from the acid as he can possibly get. He doesn’t

care how ridiculous he looks.

MATT: Okay. As you’re keeping yourself at the back, you can see it’s all flowing in this

direction, slowly. It looks like there’s a section of the wall here that’s somewhat open, and you can

see there’s a pathway where it’s flowing through this direction, and it’s coasting and flowing out

underneath the wall on this side. So you’re keeping a close eye on that. You’ve finished

assembling the Mending Wheel. You take the flying carpet and set it on there. The wheel begins to

rotate, and as it does, the carpet curls up, almost like heat to a hair. Curls up on its own

and begins to formulate this small cluster of material. You can see where a lot of its vibrant

color is gone and left with dark, charred, and partially eaten-away cloth and cotton. I’m going

to ask you to make an arcana check to attempt to use your concentration and knowledge of magic

enchantment to maintain it.

ORION: 18.

MATT: 18 vs the damage dealt. Okay, as the Wheel spins and spins, you can see as the color is

fading and fading and fading, the spark of enchantment sputters and sputters, and then the

threads of the flying carpet begin to reattach and reform, and areas where the damage to the carpet

begin to ravel back out into a fully functional formed carpet. The Mending Wheel eventually comes

to a stop. The spokes of it collapse inward, and the carpet unfurls. A solid, seemingly untouched

piece of material… A mundane carpet.

WIL: Well, that could have gone better.

WILL: It was a nice carpet.

ORION: It was a waste of fucking time. Let’s press on.

WILL: I’d like to Mass Cure Wounds first.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Fuck.

LIAM: Vex is going to kill us.

MARISHA: Yeah.

WILL: Who is that?

LIAM: My sister.

MARISHA: Oh god. We just heard them scream from the other room. Oh my god.

LIAM: On a delay, they just saw it.

MARISHA: Yeah, they did. We’re sorry!

LIAM: The other half of the party saw it die. 20 seconds after it happened, and we heard them

scream from out there.

MARISHA: Why are you being so poopy today, Tiberius?

ORION: I’m cranky because I haven’t slept, that’s why.

LIAM: Can we just take a moment for the carpet, please? We’ve had a lot of good times

with that carpet.

ORION: Yeah. Too bad, right?

MARISHA: We’ve had a lot of good times.

WILL: You’ve had that carpet for a while?

LIAM: We found Clarota on that carpet. Never mind. Let’s not talk about that. (sighs)

MARISHA: Fuck.

WIL: Thorbir has no attachment to this carpet. I’m looking for exits.

MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make a perception check.

ORION: Nor does Tiberius.

LIAM: Well, I do. And my sister’s going to kill me, specifically.

MARISHA: Vex is going to be so angry.

ORION: This is a death march.

WIL: 15.

MARISHA: I give Vax a hug.

WILL: Are we curing the wounds, too?

MATT: Yes. What’s the total amount of cure? Mass Cure Wounds?

WILL: I want to cast on everybody, if I can.

MATT: I would say Mass Cure Wounds, as a tactical standpoint, is a better thing to save for combat

because it’s a thing you can do one round, and you can heal everybody.

WILL: Oh, okay.

MATT: So you’d more want to spend your level-1 spells and cure people as you go.

WILL: Yeah, I think I’d like to do that. I’d like to at least cure myself with

my level-1 cure, then.

MATT: Okay, go for it. Looking at this area, the wall is solid stone. There is no apparent exit.

You take a while and inspect the wall, but it just seems to be solid walls. Either the exit may have

been part of the collapsed wall, or there is no exit to this room.

WILL: Equal to 1d8 plus my spellcasting ability.

WIL: I can’t seem to find a way out of here.

LIAM: (groans) Sorry.

WIL: Maybe your skills could be useful. There’s time to mourn the dead. And the carpet.

MARISHA: It’s like a member of our family, man.

LIAM: Got an 18 on perception.

MATT: 18 on perception.

LIAM: So we’re at a dead end on the other side of this shit?

WIL: I certainly hope not.

MATT: Looking around the wall, you can see there’s a section where you both look over on the far end

in the corner, and there is a small panel of stone that seems to have a slight mismatch in the

texture of the rest of the wall. As you both look at the wall, you see it and you take that cue

and walk up and shove the plate at the side and it (stone scraping) glides to the side, slightly. And

there is a small three foot by three foot entryway that exits this side of the room.

MARISHA: We almost lost the carpet that one time, too, and we found it.

WILL: She’s still talking about the carpet.

MARISHA: I’m sorry.

WILL: I was literally just swimming in acid.

LIAM: Look, Tiberius, it has sentimental value. We’ll put it in Greyskull Keep.

Just put it in the bag.

MARISHA: We can hang it up like a tapestry. That would be nice.

ORION: No, we can make it fly again.

MATT: As you guys are having this conversation, Thorbir has disappeared through a small pathway

that he and Vax both found.

LIAM: Folks, we’re moving! And I follow him.

MATT: You step through a 15-foot corridor that immediately opens into another room that has a

small lower foyer area and a slight step up into a large contained room. This room is not as dark as

everything else you’ve gone through, as far as light source. This room has a very faint series of

braziers along the walls. They have almost a slight ember torchlight lighting the vicinity.

Looking inside, you can immediately see what looks to be another small stream of that same acidic

vitriol that is slowly pouring across the floor, and this appears to be the source that you saw

before that has been trickling through and is eating into the side of the wall immediately to your

left. Along the walls, there are sets of armor of varying size. They’re set up as ornamental pieces.

In the center of the room, there is a ten-foot-tall stone statue that stands before you.

Humanoid, male, with slicked long hair that goes to about mid-back. You see fine robes that look

beautifully carved out of this dark gray stone. The face is very chiseled and handsome, but

at the top of the forehead, you see these two hooked horns that continue upward. There is not

two legs, but one singular cloven hoof at the bottom of its torso as it stands. And you can see,

from the eyes, the source of the green acidic liquid that drips down like tears, pools on the

ground, and spills out of the room.

WILL: Well, that’s not good.

MARISHA: Kashaw, does this mean anything to you?

MATT: You guys are entering after?

WILL: Yes.

WIL: I step away from the acid to my left.

WILL: Can I do a religion check on the statue?

MATT: You may, very much so.

WILL: 18.

MATT: 18. You recognize, very clearly from your religious studies and your travels, this is

Dispater, who is one of the archdevils of the second layer of Hell. Also known as the Iron Duke,

and is considered a master of politics and manipulation.

WILL: The Iron Duke.

LIAM: I’m going stealth now.

MATT: Roll stealth.

MARISHA: Master of politicians and deception.

MATT: Politics and deception.

ORION: I cast Greater Invisibility.

MATT: All righty. I will say, it’s at this point that as you all assembled, you hear a voice echo

through the room. It starts off as this low simmering growl. (growls) “I ask you all this

"question: Why do you hunt Hotis? Why do you come seeking me dead so fervently that you would

"continue past such terrible losses and dangers?” Looking around the room, you see no source of the

voice that seems to be either omnipresent or loud enough that the echoing of the walls doesn’t give

away any location.

ORION: Our hand is forced. We are bound by contract. I do not personally wish to be here.

MATT: “What if I could tell you this contract you are bound to, there are ways of getting around

"such magics?”

WIL: Why should we trust someone who chooses not to reveal itself?

MATT: “Why should you trust someone that with very little reason sent you to your death beneath a prison

"cell to die a pit of acid?”

WILL: We’re not dead yet.

MATT: “Yet.”

ORION: What is this offer that you speak of?

MATT: “You could try and kill me, and you may very well destroy me, but I’ll be back. Or we could

"choose to make a deal. Perhaps a separate contract. Equally binding, but nowhere near as

"dangerous as this one. And I would say as part of this deal, perhaps we could do some business down

"the road. You’ve already walked into my place of business and disturbed my customers and briefly

"nearly ended my business venture for the time being. This is a very angering thing for one who

"spends a very long time building these ventures. And I have plans. I have plots. Looking at the

"both of you, I can see that perhaps you are not bound by the moralities that such silly folks in

"Vasselheim seem to cling to. Am I incorrect?”

MARISHA: Why don’t you come out and speak to us face to face, Hosier? Or Hosien?

MATT: “Hotis.”

MARISHA: Ah, so your real name is Hotis.

ORION: If that is your real name.

MATT: (chuckles) “It is the name you know. That is all that is required. But I think you know as well

"as I do. For my safety, I will remain unseen, just as your friend has. Now, will you let me leave? We

"can have this conversation in the comfort of my own room. In fact, we can throw a small party. I

"have the means to do so. You’ve already proven quite skilled at combat, and I would hate to think

"you would throw away an opportunity for what paltry sum they’re offering you

"for a temporary victory.”

WIL: Thorbir steps back and blocks the door.

MATT: Okay.

WILL: Does anybody trust this guy?

WIL: No deal.

ORION: I don’t think it’s a bad idea.

MARISHA: He serves the god of politics and deception.

WILL: Does he?

MARISHA: I’m assuming.

ORION: That same guy?

MARISHA: Well, I’m assuming if he’s got the statue of–

WILL: The Iron Duke himself.

WIL: I’d like to make an insight check and see if I can get a sense of how confident he feels.

20, motherfuckers!

I want to know everything about him. I want to know his parents’ name. I want to

know his social security number. I want to know what his bank account balance is. And I want to

know his Ashley Madison password.

(laughter)

LIAM: I want him dead. I want his house burned to the ground.

MATT: As you’re all taking in this still and very creepy omnipresence of this Hotis character, you,

in hearing the voice, it is a very trained voice. This is an individual that has spent the entirety

of their life manipulating and toying with the emotions, minds, greed, and goals of others to get

its desires itself, both self-preservation and progressive expansion of its own territory. You

can tell in its voice, there is a hint of fear and a very heavy coating of words that are very well

practiced and silver-tongued. But you gather that there is very little intent to follow through on

its side of the bargain, and everything is designed as misdirection to send whatever it’s

made a deal with to its eventual doom.

WIL: It dies in this room. Do you hear me? You die in this room.

MATT: “That is unfortunate.” I would like all of you to make a perception check right now.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

WIL: 13 total.

MARISHA: Not bad. 23.

LIAM: 22.

WILL: 19.

MARISHA: 23.

ORION: Five.

MATT: Okay. Both Keyleth and Vax, looking around the room, there is a little hint of movement, and

you look over at the statue itself. There’s a little glimmer of something shift. You see what

appears to be this amulet or necklace of some kind that was resting around the statue. It vanishes.

MARISHA: Oh, son of a bitch. I want to cast Faerie Fire in that direction, right where I see the

glimmer.

MATT: Okay. First off, everyone roll initiative.

MARISHA: Oh shit.

WIL: Just in case anyone was worried. If you thought perhaps we’d slipped into some sort of odd

parallel universe where I was competent or in any way able to do anything. Just to let you know that

we are, in fact, in the same reality, I did just roll another one.

WILL: Good god.

LIAM: I can fly!

MATT: Okay.

ORION: Well done.

WILL: You got us so much insight, though.

WIL: Thorbir is just slow because he is processing and dealing with the rage and anger and the

memories of betrayal that he has experienced, having heard these sounds come from the mouths of

others before.

MATT: And with that, 20 or higher? 15 to 20?

LIAM: 19.

MATT: 19. All right. 15 to ten?

WILL: 14.

MARISHA: 13.

ORION: 12.

MATT: (laughs) Look at that. All right, so 14 was Kash?

WILL: Yes, sir.

MATT: 13 was?

MARISHA: Me.

MATT: Keyleth. And then Tiberius. All righty. (laughs) All right. Top of the round. You hear some footsteps.

There is a brief shimmering, and you see across the room, a form appear in the far corner. You see

immediately this humanoid figure appear. Long, reddish robes, humanoid body, but the head itself

is this dark gray feline tiger-like entity. This long, pronounced feline snout. Big fangs dripping from

it, long whiskers, a sadistic grin on its face. The amulet that was once adorning the statue now

around its neck. Where its hands are, you can see the hands are actually backwards and upturned in

these nasty-looking claws. It continues and releases its hands in some sort of arcane form.

ORION: Rakshasa.

MARISHA: Rakshasa.

MATT: Rakshasa.

WILL: A rakshasa!

(laughter)

MATT: And with that, Tiberius.

MARISHA: So I don’t get Faerie Fire off on him first?

MATT: No, that’s going to be on your turn there. That’s what the initiative roll was for. I need

you to go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw.

ORION: Hold on, what is he doing? Is he casting a spell?

MATT: He is, currently, yes.

ORION: 4th-level Counterspell.

MATT: 4th-level Counterspell.

MARISHA: You have advantage on wisdom saving throws. Just throwing it out there.

MATT: So you do that.

ORION: No. It shall not do nothing on my watch.

LIAM: To quote the bard. Scanlan.

MARISHA: I love that you felt like you had to clarify.

MATT: So he goes and finishes a Charm Person spell towards you. You release that with your ring and

the spell dissipates from his grasp. (growls) It growls under its breath.

ORION: How can he see me, by the way? I’m invisible, still.

MATT: He can see you.

ORION: Bastard!

MARISHA: He’s smart.

MATT: Yeah. Even though you’re invisible, he looked right at you and cast the spell. You gather

that there’s something about him that can see through invisibility. With that, he’s going to

move in that direction. And at the end of that, that brings us to Vax.

LIAM: All right. Well, I earlier rolled a 32 on stealth, but I don’t know if that means shit right

now, but I’m clicking my Boots of Haste and moving along the wall.

MATT: Along the wall here?

LIAM: No. I’m going to stay put. I’m going to attack him. I’m going to throw– dagger, dagger,

dagger– through the air. (flying blades) From the shadows. I have no idea. He might be able to see

me like the Predator.

MATT: Okay. Go for it.

LIAM: He already moved, right? So I don’t get advantage for Assassinate, but we’ll see if I get

sneak attack damage. That’s a three, so that’s shit. That’s a nine– 15.

MATT: 15? Misses.

MARISHA: Dagger, dagger, dagger.

LIAM: That is 21.

MATT: 21 does hit.

LIAM: That was the Dagger of Life-Stealing.

MATT: All right, so first one spins off. Second one, he ducks out of the way. The third one hits

him in the side of the shoulder.

LIAM: Now you tell me: I was hidden in the shadows and rolled a 32. Does that matter with him?

MATT: Right, you can roll sneak attack damage.

LIAM: Yeah! Okay. (counts quietly) 22. Yeah, 22.

MATT: 22 damage? All right. It smacks into him. It hits him. The impact, though, seems to almost be

partially absorbed or shrugged off. You’re not entirely certain. It feels like it should have hit

harder, but nevertheless, he took damage. All righty. Are you going to stay put?

LIAM: I’m going to move through the group, directly counter to him, behind the statue.

MATT: All righty. That’ll end your turn. Now Kash, you are going. At the same time, one of the nearby

larger pieces of armor comes to life and steps forward. You can now see, there is a large

humanoid form that is built out of a giant breastplate with the shoulder pauldrons, a helmet,

and these giant stone-like fists and feet that come lunging forward. Portions of its body are

made of a thick leather or wood structure. As it comes bursting forward. (impact noise)

MARISHA: What’s that?

MATT: You can hope to make a check on your turn. Brother Kash, what are you doing?

WILL: Let’s see how tough this guy is. Let me cast a quick Sacred Flame– well, first I want to move

into the room.

MATT: Okay, move there? Further in?

WILL: Yeah. I want to get it to where eventually we’re going to try to get a semicircle around him.

So closer to that area around there to get a crescent going.

MATT: Okay, cool. This is about as far as you can get on this turn.

WILL: Okay. Perfect. And then let’s try a quick Sacred Flame on him.

MATT: Against which guy?

WILL: Against the new entity.

MATT: All right, go for it.

WILL: That’s you, right?

MATT: Yeah. He gets a saving throw. All right, it does make its saving throw. I just rolled a

natural 19. So as you release the Sacred Flame, it seems to almost ricochet off. There’s some sort of

magical essence about this creature’s construction. That ends your turn. This entity

here is going to step forward, and you can see it brings its fist up for a second. There’s a small

gem that’s embedded in one of the stone fists, and you can see it’s pulsing with stored energy. It

puts the fist forward as the rakshasa in the background as Hotis instructs it and points

forward towards you guys. It puts the fist forward. The gem glows red and then releases a

very familiar-looking bead of red energy.

ORION: Is that a spell? Do I recognize that as a spell being cast?

MATT: It is a spell.

ORION: Counterspell!

MATT: You’ve already used your reaction this turn.

ORION: Damn it!

MATT: (laughs) You guys look over and see this as the red beam comes and hits the back wall and

(explosion) detonates in a large Fireball blast that encapsulates the entire

opposite side of the room.

LIAM: I’m using Evasion. I’m going to hit the ground and roll.

MATT: Okay. That would be a dexterity saving throw for all of you.

MARISHA: Ooh, yeah! Natural 19. 19.

WILL: Seven.

MATT: Seven? (laughs) Fail.

ORION: 19.

MATT: 19.

MARISHA: 24.

MATT: 24.

WIL: Well, I mean, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, oh, clearly I haven’t touched my

die because the last time I rolled my die, it had a one on it. But in fact, I did roll another one.

MATT: I feel like we’re this close to starting the apocalypse. With each one that you roll–

WILL: One small black hole is getting a little bit bigger in the universe?

MATT: Yeah. Somewhere deep beneath the Vatican, there’s some monk who’s running around screaming

as their artifacts are cracking in half. That’s amazing. All right. Well, that is 33 points of

damage to Thorbir and to Brother Kash. Half of that to both of you guys.

MARISHA: How much was the first one?

MATT: It was 33. So half of that would put you at 16.

LIAM: Well, what did we have to hit? I rolled a 16.

MATT: You rolled a 16? It would be a 16.

LIAM: So I made it?

MATT: So you made it. You take no damage.

LIAM: Nothing. I hit the ground and roll. Stop, drop, and roll, people! Stop, drop, and roll.

WIL: Little busy right now, on fire.

MATT: (laughs) All right, so. That is the creature’s turn. It finishes its spell, pulls

back. However, the gem goes to a dull, dark state. No more stored magical energy.

Kash, what are you doing?

WILL: I’ve got to heal myself, unfortunately, because I’m getting down there. So I’m going to

Cure Wounds.

MATT: Okay. At what level? You can cast it at a higher level.

WILL: I know. I’m not sure I want to, yet. You know what? I am. I’m going to Mass Cure Wounds

right now, just because I’m so low.

MATT: Okay.

WILL: So it’s level 5.

MATT: Okay, so Mass Cure Wounds.

WIL: Did you do this to them? Did you come to watch them die when they were playing?

MATT: So that is 3d8 plus five.

WILL: 3d8 plus five. Where are the d8s?

MATT: Plus, you get a healing bonus, as you are a healing cleric, as well.

Look under your special abilities.

MARISHA: Yeah, you get plus two to all your healing spells.

WILL: So 3d8.

MARISHA: Nice!

WILL: Nice, okay. That’s good. So 17 plus five, you said? So that’s 23.

MARISHA: Plus two.

WILL: Plus two.

MATT: Plus seven to each, since it’s plus your spell level, too.

So it’s plus seven on top of that.

WILL: Plus seven? Okay, now you’ve confused me. Now there’s all these numbers. 17 plus two, so

that’s 19. Plus five.

MATT: Yes.

WILL: Okay. So it’s 24. Okay. So everybody gets 24, is that right?

MATT: 24 hit points.

MARISHA: Back up to full. And remember, you get plus 2d12 to your max hit points because we ate

good food. Nothing beats a home-cooked meal.

MATT: Did everyone keep track of that? All righty. So Kash, that’s your move and that’s your spell.

That’s your turn. You’re done. Keyleth, you’re up.

MARISHA: Faerie Fire, right on the rakshasa.

MATT: All righty.

WILL: Rakshasa!

MATT: You cast Faerie Fire, and you can see the energy coalesce and dissipate.

MARISHA: Son of a bitch.

MATT: The rakshasa: unaffected entirely by the spell.

ORION: None of our magical works against– you know what I’m going to say! I’m speaking Draconic

again, sorry.

(laughter)

MARISHA: I look at him, and I go, um? And now I’m going Minxie.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Going Minxie!

LIAM: Tiger on tiger?!

MARISHA: Tiger on tiger!

WILL: There’s a website for that.

WIL: I saw the show at the Bellagio. It’s amazing.

MATT: You guys watch as Keyleth now angrily morphs into this large, white saber-toothed tiger that

roars on the ground where she once was. You can move, still, if you wish.

MARISHA: I’m going for rakshasa, so I’m going to head this way.

MATT: You have a speed of 40, I think?

MARISHA: Speed is 40.

MATT: So you can get right up next to it. Yep. So you run around the side of the giant statue and

right up in the face of Hotis, personally.

MARISHA: Yeah, that’s fine. Bring it.

MATT: End of Keyleth’s turn. Tiberius, you’re up. Thorbir, you’re on deck.

ORION: Okay. Fine. I’m going to attempt to cast Slow on both of them.

MATT: On both of them?

ORION: 40-foot cube, 120-foot range. Center it where it won’t hurt anybody else except for them.

Actually, I think I can pick who I affect. And that’s what I do. Slow down. I think that will

affect the rakshasa.

MATT: What’s the DC on it?

ORION: 17.

MATT: 17. The golem-like creature– which, if you want to make an arcana check right now, see if you

can ID it.

ORION: 21.

MATT: 21. You haven’t seen one of these before, but you’ve heard about it in passing, and you feel

like there was a story once about it. It’s referred to as a shield guardian. It is linked to

whoever wears the amulet and manages to share damage, should the wearer take damage.

WILL: Oh, that’s interesting to know.

MATT: It also slowly repairs itself over time. So yes. You cast Slow. The rakshasa appears

unaffected. However, the guardian’s movements do seem to shimmer and shake as it’s forcing its way

through the arcane net you’ve now cast around it.

ORION: Cool. So now it takes a negative two penalty to its AC and its dexterity saving throws,

and it can’t use reactions.

MATT: Yep.

ORION: Sweet. And I move as far away from everything as I can.

MATT: Okay. So where are you going? Over here? That’s about as far as you can get away from

everything.

ORION: That’s what I do.

MATT: All righty. That brings us to Thorbir.

WIL: Am I close enough to charge up and hit that guardian?

MATT: You could. You could probably leap over these. You could do that.

WIL: I would like to do that.

MATT: Okay. You leap across, grin and bear it as you dodge over the bits of acid, cringing.

WIL: I’m accustomed to failure.

MATT: And you rush up to the side with your axe and?

WIL: I’m going to use an action surge, so I get an additional action. So that was my move, right? So

my additional action will be to make my attack. Does that mean I get to do six attacks?

WILL: That’s going to be six points! Go for it.

WIL: I know, right? Okay. If I’m going to use a maneuver, do I have to declare it ahead of time?

MATT: I would say yes.

WIL: This is a commander’s strike.

LIAM: Here we go. This is science.

WIL: 23.

MATT: That hits, yeah!

WIL: All right. This is a commander’s strike. “When you take the attack action on your turn, you

"can forego one of your attacks and use a bonus action to direct one of your companions to strike.

"When you do so, choose a friendly creature who can see you or hear you and expend a superiority die.

"That creature can immediately use its reaction to make one weapon attack, adding the superiority die

"to the attack’s damage roll.” So I would like to direct the tiger thing to attack the tiger thing.

MARISHA: I’m there.

WIL: Can I do that?

MATT: You can, yeah.

WIL: So that’s with my first attack situation.

MATT: So first, roll your damage from the strike.

WIL: Six plus six slashing damage. 12 slash.

MATT: 12 slashing. Nice.

WIL: Do I roll the superiority die for her, or does she roll it?

MATT: You give it to her. You can roll it now, and she’ll add it to her damage.

WIL: You don’t want to touch this, so just roll a d10.

MARISHA: Good to know.

MATT: So now he looks to you and gives you the opportunity to attack the rakshasa as a reaction.

MARISHA: (roars) So I’m going to do my bite attack. And I get to add this?

MATT: To your damage.

MARISHA: To damage? Okay, so that’s 15?

MATT: 15 misses. You strike out and the rakshasa right at your face ducks out of the way and has a

small cane to its side that it knocks your strike to the side.

MARISHA: Sorry.

WIL: That’s all right. Second attack.

MARISHA: Do I get to keep this, or was that the only time?

MATT: That’s the only time.

WIL: Ha! That’s a two.

MATT: All right. You hit the side of its armor and deflects off the side with a loud ringing sound.

WIL: Attack number three is a three. I’m guessing 13 is not good enough to hit that thing?

MATT: Unfortunately, no.

WIL: Okay, attack number four is a 27!

MATT: Hits!

WIL: How about that.

MATT: Roll some damage on that one.

WIL: This is going to be– shoot, sorry. My thing got moved around. Apologies. Sorry! This is

ruining the dramatic tension. This is a precision attack, so I use a superiority die and I add it to

my damage roll, right?

MATT: That’s added to your attack.

WIL: Son of a bitch! All right. Never mind, then I’m just going to roll regular damage. That’s one

plus six is seven.

MATT: Seven damage.

WIL: Fifth attack.

MATT: You have two more.

WIL: That’s another one.

MATT: Roll your last one.

WIL: All right, here’s my last attack. Oh, it’s an 18! I crit on an 18!

MARISHA: You crit on an 18?

WIL: I crit on an 18. Son of a bitch! No, I don’t! Fuck me.

LIAM: Even your memory betrays you, Wheaton.

WIL: I know. It does. 28?

MATT: 28 I think will hit. Go ahead and roll damage.

WIL: Great. Oh, and let me look at these things and see if any of this useless stuff is going to

do any good for me at all. Oh, you know what? I’m going to use this as a maneuvering attack. I can

expend a superiority die to maneuver one of my comrades into a more advantageous position. One of

my comrades can move– there’s no point in doing that. I thought I could move the bad guy, which is

what I could do if I had a pushing attack. All right, so. Can I use my riposte? When a creature

misses you with a melee attack, use your reaction and expend a die to

make a melee attack against it.

MATT: You’d do that if it attacks you.

WIL: Great. Okay, so I’m just going to remember that I have that.

MATT: Just do your damage.

WIL: 13.

MATT: All righty. So out of the six strikes, three make contact. You’re starting to carve sections

into the leathery connecting areas of the shield guardian. You’re doing damage, but it’s still

pretty hardy and holding itself up. That ends your turn, Thorbir? Up at the top. Hotis, who is

unhappy and next to you, is going to disengage here.

MARISHA: Do I get a free attack?

MATT: You do, yes.

MARISHA: (growls) Nope.

MATT: Nope? Okay. He’s actually going to stay back here and is going to look over and glance at…

yeah, he’s going to glance at you, Vax. You see this time, it pulls itself back and with this

grin, it catches your eye and has a slight shine to its connection. It whispers something under its

breath. Make a wisdom saving throw.

LIAM: But with advantage.

MARISHA: Advantage! I’m so glad I made such a hearty meal.

LIAM: Ugh, 15.

MATT: 15 total?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: All right. For the second time in a row, your mind is not your own.

LIAM: (robotic) I will kill you all.

MATT: You feel the will of the rakshasa take your mind as you are dominated by it.

MARISHA: Is this something he can save from, though?

ORION: What happened? Is a spell being cast?

LIAM: I’m possessed, man.

ORION: Oh, Counterspell. 4th level.

MATT: You currently don’t have visual on him.

LIAM: Besides, you should have done that shit already! The moment already happened. I’m

possessed.

ORION: Shut up. I’m trying to save you.

LIAM: You can’t retcon that shit.

WIL: Same team!

MATT: There’s a big statue between the two of you, unfortunately, the ten-foot statue, so you

wouldn’t have visual on it when it cast the spell. This is the big statue, right there. So you are

currently dominated. It is now your turn. The rakshasa is going to send you up behind Kash.

LIAM: Let’s cut the guest visitor because really. Really?

MATT: (laughs) It makes sense. He comes in and heals the party and is closest to you and has no

idea that you’re currently turned against the rest of your allies. Make an attack on him.

WILL: I’m attacking him?

MATT: He’s attacking you.

WILL: You suck.

LIAM: And I’m hasted. My boots are hasted. So here I go. Oh, that’s good. That is a 23.

MATT: 23 hits.

LIAM: Should I do damage on all of these?

MATT: Go ahead and do your sneak attack damage on this one.

LIAM: All right, but there’s no sneak attack, so not that bad.

MATT: I will say this. Make a perception check.

WILL: Okay. I perceive I’m going to get my ass kicked. Oh, good! 23.

MATT: 23. You just catch, out of the corner of your eye, as Vax turns towards you, weapons drawn,

and swooshes up to your side. You get the sensation that his mind is not his own, since this

has already happened once today. Doing so, you turn to face him, negating the sneak attack.

You’re aware of it. So you don’t get sneak attack damage.

LIAM: Great. Good. I mean, let’s kill this guy. I love you, rakshasa! Okay, so that first one hit

for eight. The second one is a natural 20. (carving noises) You’re already cut up. You don’t

even know.

MATT: So first one was eight damage, so you take eight damage.

LIAM: This is not sneak attack, so it’s not the worst it could be.

WILL: (laughing) It’s not the worst it could be. Thanks. I’m not stabbing you the worst I could.

LIAM: That was my life-stealing dagger, and on a natural 20, I get the ten hit points that I cut

from him. Or whatever I get, I guess.

WILL: Do it without the smile. Do it without the little smile!

(laughter)

WILL: Just do it without the tiny little smile!

LIAM: It was seven, which is doubled to 14.

MATT: The dice is doubled, and then you add the modifier.

LIAM: Oh, okay. Oh, so that’s much less, then. That is an eight. And then I get ten hit points.

How does it work? It says I get ten hit points, so I just get ten, or

do I get up to what I cut him for?

MATT: You deal damage, and then you heal yourself ten hit points, draining the life of whatever you

damaged.

LIAM: Well, the good news is, I’m back up to full.

WILL: Oh, that is good news.

MATT: So you took another eight damage.

WILL: I took another eight? Sweet.

LIAM: Here comes that third dagger, man. This one is poisonous. And that hits.

WILL: (laughs) Shit.

MARISHA: Take Wil’s dice.

WILL: Again, you can’t get the smile off your face! It’s etched in there permanently! You suck!

Look at that.

LIAM: That is an eight, plus the poison has a DC of 15.

MATT: Take another eight damage, and then make a constitution saving throw.

LIAM: Roll a 15 or higher, please, Will.

MARISHA: Nope.

MATT: That’s okay. You guys are immune to poison, thanks to the meal that she made.

MARISHA: Oh, that’s right!

MATT: So as he eviscerates you with the daggers, most of the armor’s absorbing a lot of the blows

and you’re feeling the impact and one of them catches you in the side, and you feel the poison

pulse into your system, but your physical body shuts it down, and you feel yourself unaffected.

LIAM: Sorry! I’m so sorry!

WILL: And I want to look at him and go, why are you smiling the whole time?!

LIAM: He’s putting it on my face. I can’t help it.

WILL: The whole time, you’re smiling!

LIAM: I’m so guilty.

MATT: Your turn to make another wisdom saving throw with advantage to try and resist it.

LIAM: With advantage. 19 or a five. So I’ll take the 19. 21.

MATT: You’ve resisted the effect. Domination fades.

LIAM: Oh man. I feel so bad about this.

WILL: You don’t. I don’t buy that face at all. I don’t buy it at all!

MATT: Kash, it’s your turn.

WILL: Oh. Wow. My turn, huh?

LIAM: Channel it to where it matters.

WILL: (laughs) Yeah, but see, I’m the guest. Where it matters is just getting some revenge.

So he is still–

LIAM: No, I’m good. I’m out.

MATT: As he finishes attacking, he goes, (grunts, pants).

MARISHA: Oh, did you save from it? Dope.

WILL: I have to heal myself, somehow. I have to, or I’m just not going to be around for a while.

MARISHA: Do it. We need our healer.

ORION: Take a potion.

WILL: I don’t have any potions.

WIL: A healer dying would be like your warrior never being able to hit anything.

WILL: That would be crazy!

MARISHA: I know. It’s crazy, because it scales for players.

WILL: I have one more level five. Oh, I can do a level-6 Heal, if I wanted to, but I want to hold

onto my level six. I think I’m going to do my last level-5 Mass Cure Wounds.

MATT: Okay. Go for it.

MARISHA: And that does to everybody?

WILL: Yeah. Everybody within a certain radius. Hang on. Six creatures. Oh, you’re full? That must

be nice.

MATT: 30-foot radius sphere. You can hit everybody here, for the most part. You can hit all of your

allies there.

WILL: And 3d8 plus–

MATT: Plus five, and then plus an additional seven. So it would be plus 12. 3d8 plus 12.

WILL: 3d8 plus 12. Okay, that’s the same thing as last time, so 17 plus 12.

MATT: 29.

WILL: Again, 29. Yeah.

MATT: So everyone heals 29 hit points. That is the end of your 5th-level spells. You are out of

5th-levels.

WILL: I am now out of 5th-level spells.

MATT: All right. That ends Kash’s turn. The shield guardian is going to turn this way and is going to

attempt to pummel on you.

WIL: Let’s do this.

WILL: Dead or alive, you’re coming with me.

MATT: That is a 25 to hit.

WIL: Oh, it turns out that that hits me.

MATT: (laughs) The second one is a 13.

WIL: That does not hit me.

MATT: Okay, so the first one hits you for 12 points of bludgeoning damage as the fist slams

into you. Second one comes down, and you manage to knock it away with the edge of your axe,

bulldogging up in its face. It also heals itself ten hit points. As it begins to repair its form with

each progressive round, the magic energy is sealing up the cracks and divots its armor is

taking. This leads to the end of its turn. Keyleth, you’re up.

MARISHA: All right. I’m still pretty close to the rakshasa, right?

MATT: Correct.

MARISHA: All right, hitting it with my bite attack. Ooh, that’s much better.

Chopper, sic balls.

WIL: That’s not what I heard. I heard, Chopper, sic kid.

(laughter)

MARISHA: That just made my night, in many ways. Okay, 21.

MATT: That does hit. However, are your natural weapons magical?

MARISHA: Yes, they are, because Circle of the Moon, baby.

MATT: That’s right. So yes, you do bypass his nonmagical physical immunity.

MARISHA: Yes, I do. Circle of the Moon. So that does 1d10 plus six piercing damage. Where’s my

d10s? That’s eight piercing damage from my bite. (growls) And then I do my claws,

which happen twice.

MATT: So what’s the damage total on that?

MARISHA: That was eight damage. Piercing damage. And then yeah, that’s good, too.

MATT: And what’s your alignment?

MARISHA: What’s my alignment? I’m good. I’m Keyleth. I’m neutral good.

MATT: Just checking.

LIAM: She’s becoming the Destroyer!

MATT: And the other two attacks are?

MARISHA: 22 for the first one.

MATT: Hits.

MARISHA: Hang on, do I get two claw attacks, or just one?

ORION: Did you say “clow?”

MARISHA: “Clow.” My “clows.”

MATT: What does it say for the multi-attack of the tiger form?

MARISHA: It says– oh, wait.

MATT: Saber-toothed tiger is the form.

MARISHA: Yeah. I have a pounce. I guess I don’t have a multi-attack. So I just have the bite

attack? Or do I also get a claw attack, as well, as my two actions?

MATT: You do not have multi-attack with that creature.

MARISHA: One is piercing, and one is slashing, right? So I’ll do my bite. (growls)

MATT: You bite in and as you do, it (groans) hits you with its elbow, its backward-turned hand

trying to grasp out and push you off. As it tears you away, you got a chunk of its meat. And for

some reason, you did a lot more damage than you thought you would. You hit some sort of vulnerable

point in its body, or there’s something about the attack method that it did not like. (gasps, roars)

It hisses at you with this guttural tiger growl. Tiger on tiger.

MARISHA: I go, (growls) right back to him.

MATT: You going to stay put, or are you going to move away?

MARISHA: I’m up in his ass.

MATT: All right, so you’re staying right there.

WILL: There’s another website for that.

MATT: All right. Tiberius, you’re up.

ORION: Move me in sight range of both of them. As a good sorcerer would be positioned.

MATT: There.

ORION: I’ll cast Silence right in the center of the room.

MATT: Center of the room?

ORION: Yep.

MATT: All right.

ORION: Not hitting Kashaw.

MATT: Okay. There is an orb of Silence here that fills the vicinity. All righty.

ORION: And I sit in Indian-style position.

LIAM: It’s called crisscross applesauce now.

ORION: Now cast stuff, butthole! I dissipate my Greater Invisibility spell so it can see me.

MATT: All right. Your visibility comes back. All righty. That ends Tiberius’s turn.

Thorbir, you’re up.

WIL: I am attacking the guardian again, and I will be doing another one of my commander’s strikes.

MATT: Go for it.

WIL: 21.

MATT: That hits.

WIL: So I will direct you, again, to hit the dude.

MARISHA: (growls) Bite. No. Son of a cock.

WIL: I rolled a 12 on my die, so 18. 18 points of damage.

MARISHA: Nothing for me.

MATT: What did you roll?

MARISHA: Four, so 13 total.

MATT: It adds to the damage roll, not the attack.

WIL: Damn it! I keep looking at it and expecting it to change.

MATT: That’s okay. Your first attack hit. You have two more.

WIL: Yeah. My second attack against the guardian. 16?

MATT: 16 does not hit, unfortunately. It beats away the edge of your blade

with one of its giant fists.

WIL: And my last attack. 23?

MATT: 23 hits. As it pulls back from knocking away your blade, you use the inertia to spin it around

and come down on top with your axe.

WIL: Hey, I have a dumb question, and I’m sorry. This is at your discretion, but I can add a d10 to

my attack roll after I’ve made the attack roll.

MATT: You add it before I tell you if it hit or missed. So you can roll and be like, “I don’t know

"if that will hit or not. Let me add my dice to it.”

WIL: I get it. So I’m going to hit again. 11.

MATT: 11. All righty. Knocked away, and then come down with a third hit, cracking in the center of

the breastplate. The breastplate actually separates slightly. You can see a little of the

arcane energy holding it together underneath. Starting to knock some damage into it. You can see

it’s taken a little wear and tear. It’s still pretty hefty, but you’re starting to dig into the

shield guardian. Does that end your turn?

WIL: Can I use second wind? It says I can take it as a bonus action, but I don’t know how bonus

actions work.

MATT: You get one bonus action every turn, if you have an ability that uses one.

WIL: Oh, great. So I get hit points equal to d10 plus my fighter level.

MATT: Go for it.

WIL: 11 plus ten is 21.

MATT: There you go. Very nice. Ends your turn. Back at the top. That is Hotis’s turn. Hotis

begins looking at itself. It moves. It gets an attack from you, Marisha.

MARISHA: That’s 20.

MATT: So that does hit.

MARISHA: Awesome. I’m going to do my bite attack again. Oh, wait. That’s a d20. Eight damage.

Piercing damage again.

MATT: All right. You strike. Once again, as it runs by, you get a chunk out of it and it (grunts)

growls in anger and pain. You notice at the same time that she takes the bite out of it, the

guardian shudders, like it suddenly took an impact on its own. As it charges away, though, it runs

out of the field of Silence… It is going to begin casting a spell on itself, and immediately

drifts up toward the ceiling. It is now currently flying in the room about ten feet up right now.

WILL: He’s flying now?

ORION: I can do that, too!

MATT: That’s going to end its turn. Vax, you’re up.

LIAM: I’m going to use my bonus action to hide.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: 27.

MATT: 27. Okay.

LIAM: Two daggers out of the dark. I’ll keep that. That is a 30.

MATT: Remember, in order to properly hide, you would have to go somewhere where you would remain

out of the sight of the individual.

LIAM: Can I squat down behind Kash?

WILL: Wait, whoa.

LIAM: All right, you tell me. I don’t know how bright or dark it is in here.

MATT: Hiding behind another party member is a little hard to do.

LIAM: Can I run, Naruto-style, low, now he’s behind me, toward the statue and crouch at the

base of it? And then shoot up from there?

MATT: Yeah. Thanks to your stealth roll, the guardian does not see you. It can’t get a

reaction, anyway, because it’s slowed from you. So yeah, you’re able to scoot around to the side

there, and then fling the daggers around the corner. The rakshasa

apparently has not noticed you.

LIAM: Okay. First roll was a 30.

MATT: That hits, and it does do sneak attack damage.

ORION: Good job, Lara! I mean, Vax.

MARISHA: Kill this thing.

LIAM: (counts quietly) 38, for the one dagger.

MATT: 38 damage. Okay. First off, when you throw the dagger, and it strikes, it hits the side of

the ribcage of the rakshasa who is floating up, and (grunts) it doubles over in severe pain, more

than you expected it would be, and it clutches and tries to grab the dagger to pull it out before it

vanishes from the wound, leaving the blood pooling out of it. It looks like it was hurt significantly

by this attack, more so than you were expecting. However, at the same time, the shield guardian

doubles over for a second. The link appears to be sharing the damage between the two of them.

MARISHA: Piercing damage, yo.

WILL: When you hit either one, or just when you hit the rakshasa?

MATT: Apparently, just when you hit the rakshasa.

LIAM: Number two. Probably going to go astray. That was 14.

MATT: 14? Nope. All right. So that is Vax’s turn. The rakshasa, you can see, is clutching its side

now, and there’s blood beginning to pool around its robe and it (pants) is looking around with

nervous eyes. That brings us to the end of Vax’s turn. Kash, you’re up.

WILL: Who’s over here?

MATT: Over here?

WILL: No, near the shield warrior. Who’s over there? The shield guardian.

MATT: This is Thorbir and Vax.

WILL: Okay. I’m going to move a little bit. Even though he’s floating, I can still move closer to

the rakshasa, correct?

MATT: You can, yes.

WILL: I want to move a little bit closer and then cast Spiritual Weapon.

MATT: Okay. All right, so you create a spiritual weapon of some kind.

What weapon would you like to create?

WILL: How about a giant mace?

MATT: Okay, so as you clutch your holy symbol to yourself, now there’s a sudden pillar of bright,

vibrant healing light surrounded by that same halo of pitch-black darkness, almost like this strange

border around it. This duality hits the ground, and as it vanishes, you can see on the

ground this shimmering, almost static-y mace is left behind, almost flickering in and out of

existence. It drifts off on its own and is now hovering in the air next to you.

WILL: Sweet.

(laughter)

MATT: Do you wish to send it up?

WILL: I do. I wish to send it towards the rakshasa. Concentrate all fire on the rakshasa.

MATT: Okay. What’s the damage on the magical weapon?

WILL: When I cast the spell, I can make a melee spell attack against a creature within five feet

of the weapon.

MATT: All right, so roll a d20 and add your spell attack bonus.

WILL: Spell attack bonus is– 20.

MATT: 20 hits. Roll damage. It’s 1d8 plus five, which is your spell bonus.

WILL: 1d8.

MARISHA: All those blue guys. Yeah.

LIAM: Give him the Al Capone, Kash.

WILL: Five and five, so ten.

MATT: Okay. Ten points of damage. All right, so as it slams into the side, the rakshasa (gasps) takes

the brunt of it to its arm, and the shield guardian shudders slightly in the distance.

WILL: It says that now I can, as a bonus action on my turn, move the weapon up to 20 feet and repeat

the attack against the creature within five feet of it. So can I swing it around and attack him

again from the back?

MATT: You can use your bonus action to do that, yes. So it drifts behind and makes a second

strike. Roll a d20.

WILL: A d20?

MATT: A d20 to try and hit. And add your spell attack bonus.

WILL: Ten. Damn it.

MATT: Ten? This time, the rakshasa’s a little more wise to your plan. As it swings around, it

actually uses its Fly to dip down as it swings, and then comes back up around in its place,

gliding and staring at it with a snarl. (snarls) I believe that ends your turn. Now the shield

guardian turns this way and now it’s taken notice of the rogue that has run up and eviscerated a

portion of its master. It’s going to pivot in place and bring both fists

right down towards you.

LIAM: I’m going to uncannily dodge.

MATT: Okay. What does that do, again?

LIAM: Once a round, I can halve the damage.

MATT: For one attack, right? Well, that one will be a 25 to hit?

LIAM: Oh, yes.

MATT: And that will be a 14 to hit.

LIAM: No.

MATT: So the one that hits you– 15 damage. Bludgeoning damage,

which is halved to eight damage.

ORION: What’s above us?

MATT: Above you? It’s about a 15-foot ceiling. 15 to 20-foot ceiling.

ORION: Okay. Any light coming down?

MATT: Nothing in particular, no. You just have the wall sconces up there. This room has been

repurposed from its original construction and hidden away. It looks like it was initially some

sort of storage or altar room, based on how it was designed. All right, that ends its turn. Keyleth,

you’re up.

MARISHA: Okay. Since he’s floating, I’m going to go, (growls) and go for the spiritual guardian.

Ooh, the first one is a 21.

MATT: That hits.

MARISHA: Oh, sorry. 22.

MATT: Is this a pounce?

MARISHA: Can it be a pounce? Was I far enough away?

MATT: If you move back and then pounce, you could.

MARISHA: Then fuck yeah, it’s a pounce.

MATT: You have the movement to do so. So you back up, (growls) leap, and pounce on the shield

guardian.

MARISHA: So does he succeed his strength saving throw, DC 14?

MATT: Nope! Not with a three.

MARISHA: Then he is knocked prone.

MATT: (impact noise) Slow and prone.

MARISHA: And then I make a bite attack, which is a 19. Ooh, that’s not good, in terms of damage.

Seven damage.

MATT: Seven damage. All righty. So as you jump on it, you force it to the ground. You see the thing

topple towards you, and you have to step back to avoid it, Thorbir. It crashes into the ground, and

now Minxie, the white saber-toothed tiger, is on top of it, and starts biting and clawing at it,

dealing a bunch of damage to the front of its armor. Very cool. That ends Keyleth’s turn.

Tiberius, you’re up. Strangely enough, none of this makes any sound. It’s a silent battle. It is

the creepiest, quietest fight over here right now.

ORION: I’m going to cast Obelisk of Stone. Rakshasa! The butthole. And smash the shit out of

both of them! 20 feet high. Maximum height.

MATT: Okay. I’m looking up the spell real fast.

MARISHA: Dex save.

ORION: It’s a dex save.

MATT: That’s a natural 20 for the rakshasa, and that is a six for the shield guardian.

ORION: So he’s pinned to the ceiling, and they both take 21 damage.

WILL and MARISHA: (laugh)

WILL: What’s that weird James Gandolfini breathing next to me? It’s really bizarre.

MATT: I’m clarifying this because the spell says this. They make a dex saving throw, or they’re

lifted by the pillar. If they make a save, they are not touched by the pillar.

ORION: Right. That means they don’t get pinned by it.

MATT: No, they don’t take any damage. If they make their save, they dodge out of the way. That’s how

the spell is designed.

ORION: All right.

MATT: It’s primarily intended to be a defensive spell that can occasionally be used offensively,

if they fail their save. The shield guardian takes the damage.

ORION: And he’s pinned.

MATT: And he’s pinned, currently. Yep.

WIL and WILL: Nice move.

WILL: Get him, Stormchaser.

MATT: All right. The rakshasa dodges out of the way, and there is now a giant pillar in the middle

of the room.

ORION: I look at him, and I’m like–

MATT: All right. That ends your turn, Tiberius? Thorbir, you’re up.

WIL: Can I hit the guardian?

MATT: Currently, it is pinned against the ceiling, so you cannot hit it.

WIL: Right, so I can’t do anything. Can I just delay?

MATT: You can if you want to. You can use your action to hold off until something triggers, which

could be moving into range, in case you could then take your action on it.

WIL: I’ll do that. I can’t get the rakshasa.

MATT: Not from that distance, no. So you’ll wait for this thing to try and find its way out. All

right, cool. So that brings us to the top: the rakshasa’s turn.

WIL: Oh, but I am calling out, and yelling at, and taunting at the guy. And it’s just this.

(mouthing words)

ORION: Oh, because of the Silence. I’ll dissipate the spell so I can hear him. Were you trying to

say something, Thorbir?

WIL: (shouting) And I will be naked and riding through the desert–

(laughter)

MATT: The rakshasa finishes scanning the room for a second, and he says, “Well, this has been a lot

"of fun. I appreciate this little scuffle. However, I have other business to attend to. Looking at the

"rest of you, at least I know where to hit you all the hardest. I know you have a father you seek. I

"know you have family in Draconia. I know you have a sister that is not too far from here. And you. I

"know you have one you hold dear to your heart. I can now see your minds, see their faces, and I

"will see them soon. However, I must say adieu.” And he begins to cast–

ORION: 4th-level Counterspell!

MARISHA: Tiberius!

MATT: You already used one 4th-level Counterspell from your ring earlier.

ORION: Yeah, and I have two stored in there.

MATT: How do you have two 4th-level Counterspells in a ring that can carry

up to four levels of a spell?

ORION: No. I can carry five up to 4th-level spells. It’s my Ring of Spell Storing. It can

carry up to five spells that go up to 4th level.

MARISHA: No, that’s not how it works.

MATT: It can carry up to four levels of spells.

ORION: I don’t understand that.

LIAM: You can do four level-1 spells. You can do one level-4 spell. You can do two level-2 spells.

ORION: That’s not how it worked before.

MARISHA: Yeah. That’s how my ring works, as well. It’s a level-5 Ring of Storing.

MATT: Welcome to Dungeons and Dragons. It’s all good. You have Counterspell as a spell you know,

though, right?

ORION: Yeah. Still 4th-level Counterspell.

MATT: Okay. Good to know. That makes a difference. Let me double-check one thing real fast, because

this will make or break the circumstance, really.

ORION: As a matter of fact, no. 6th-level Counterspell. (growling) You will go nowhere!

MATT: All right.

ORION: That’s far as I can go.

MARISHA: We go to 11.

MATT: All right. It is a 7th-level spell, so let’s go ahead and roll.

MARISHA: Come on.

ORION: Do I have advantage or anything?

MARISHA: I don’t think so.

MATT: Okay. Don’t roll yet.

ORION: Okay.

WILL: (laughs) That’s awesome. Okay. He’s in charge!

MATT: Okay, so roll a d20 and your spell-casting ability is five for this.

LIAM: Don’t piss off Tetsuo, man.

MATT: So you roll a d20. Add a five. I will say you have advantage on this because you were

expecting and waiting for this, so go ahead and make your first roll. Roll one at a time.

MARISHA: Okay.

ORION: 19.

MATT: 19? All right.

MARISHA: Oh, take that 19.

ORION: 19.

MATT: 19? All right. To counter this spell as a level seven, you needed to roll a 17 or higher.

You are targeting the spell, not the rakshasa itself. As you can see, its form begins to

shimmer, and you see a small gate begin to open around its form. You, as a reaction, reach up and

unleash your torrent of countering arcane energy. It hits this opening gate. The gate then

fluctuates and shuts. At which point, the rakshasa goes, (quiet growl) and for the first time,

really, in this entire battle, looks genuinely scared.

WILL: Yeah!

MARISHA: Fucking kill it!

LIAM: You were saying something about my sister?

ORION: (shouting) No one threatens a goddamn Stormwind!

WILL: What he said.

ORION: I think I just broke my hand.

(laughter)

MATT: Don’t break your hand! It’s going to fly– actually, it’s going to fly toward the door.

WILL: Towards the door?

MATT: Yeah. That’s all the movement it can get, there, but it is heading towards the exit.

MARISHA: Oh, he’s fucking trying to leave!

LIAM: He suddenly turns pink and says, (Snagglepuss impression) exit stage right, even!

(laughter)

MATT: He’s gliding toward the doorway over everybody. That brings us to Vax’s turn.

WILL: Come on, Vax! Don’t let this bitch leave!

LIAM: How far is he from that statue?

MATT: From this statue here? At that height, I’d say it’s about 30 feet.

LIAM: 30 feet? Okay. He’s not paying attention to me. Can I use my bonus action to go stealth?

MATT: You’re partially obscured by the statue. I’d say you can do that.

LIAM: All right. With advantage. Come on, you fucking motherfucker. That is 28. And I’m throwing

daggers at the back of his head. Yes. That is a 27. Do we call that sneak attack?

MATT: He did not see you stealth, actually. He did not roll high enough perception, so you have sneak

attack on him.

MARISHA: Ugh, I’m out of alcohol. It’s the worst time to be out.

WIL: Druid needs booze badly.

LIAM: 30.

MATT: 30 damage?

How do you want to do this?

(cheering)

LIAM: I’ve got the dagger in my hand, right? I see him flying away. I’m crouched down. I flip it over

so the blade’s in my hand. I don’t go fast. I just take my time, pull back, throw it harder than I

usually do, through its neck, out the front.

MATT: The dagger hits it in the back of the neck and the spine. It doesn’t quite cut through the

spinal column. You see it comes out the front of the throat. (choking noise) The spell falters.

(thud) It falls to the ground, taking a serious impact fall and is now, (grunts) dragging itself

towards the exit of the room as you start walking up to collect your blade. (coughing, gasping) It

brings up its hand to start trying to cast a spell. (wet choking sound) It coughs this big pool

of blood onto the ground.

LIAM: I grab it by the ear and lift its head back. You talk about my sister again.

MATT: (death rattle) With a spray of crimson across the ground and this horrible sucking sound,

you pull back the head as the life force of the rakshasa comes spraying across the stone floor. As

you release it and leave it to the ground with the last bit of life left in its body leaves its form,

you hear this chuckle. “I’ll find you.”

LIAM: And I boot it into the acid.

WILL: No, we need the eyes!

MATT: (laughs) The body tumbles into the acid. (sizzling sound) You guys run over really quickly

and pull it out.

WILL: What were you thinking?! (laughs)

LIAM: Don’t push my buttons, man.

WIL: Has the animation gone out of the guardian?

MATT: The shield guardian that was currently struggling has gone limp,

pinned against the ceiling.

WILL: Nice work.

MARISHA: Okay. I go over to it, and I bust out my book, and I start harvesting all the parts we

need. Who’s got the contract? What all do we need?

WILL: Who has it? I don’t have the contract.

LIAM: I never touched it.

WILL: We need the eyes. I didn’t have the contract.

WIL: You had the contract.

WILL: I did not. You were in charge.

WIL: I was not in charge. I was never in charge. I was sent here to be a babysitter.

WILL: That’s in charge, as far as I’m concerned.

MATT: Does nobody have the contract?

ORION: Is it behind us?

LIAM: Oh, come on.

MARISHA: We signed it, after, and left it somewhere.

MATT: It might have ended up in the storage.

LIAM: Oh, the actual, physical–

MATT: The actual, physical contract.

MARISHA: Might have ended up in storage.

WIL: Someone from production made us sign it.

LIAM: Here it is, clearly, right here.

MARISHA: The fangs and the tongue.

WILL: Ah, yes!

MARISHA: We found it!

MATT: That would have been a real shame to get all this far.

MARISHA: I got it. Cool.

WILL: We got it. It’s all good. What do we need?

LIAM: We’re fine here. Everything’s fine.

WIL, LIAM, and WILL: How are you?

MARISHA: Okay, I have my book, which I think gives me advantage, I think is how it works?

MATT: Gives you advantage on those, yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah. Okay, gives me advantage. So I have to do this individually for each one, correct?

MATT: Correct. Roll two at a time to make it more expedient.

MARISHA: Two at a time? Okay, first for the eyes and tongue. Ooh, I’ll take that 18 and 20.

Natural 20.

MATT: Well, it’s with advantage, so the first roll’s a 20. That’s for the eyes?

MARISHA: That’s for the eyes.

MATT: Without a problem, pop both eyes out.

MARISHA: Tongue. I’ll also take that natural 20.

MATT: There is a purpose you serve.

WILL: And it’s the balance on the sides of the room.

MARISHA: I’ll take that.

WIL: I am good for something.

MARISHA: And for the heart. That’s 16 total.

MATT: 16? All right. With some difficulty, you manage to eventually tear the heart out of the

chest cavity. It’s a very nasty process, and most of you guys– well, not so much you guys; you’ve

seen a lot of crimson, but watching this little druid girl, seemingly unfazed by the process of

tearing into the chest of this rakshasa, is very disconcerting.

LIAM: Come on, Mononoke.

MARISHA: Here, hold this.

MATT: And it is this dark, dull red, like overcooked meat.

MARISHA: Okay. The claws. Oh, I’ll take that 19! 30. Oh, sorry. 29.

MATT: You take each one of the hands of the rakshasa, the back-turned, strange, upside-down

humanoid hands, and cut them off at the wrists, very cleanly, and both are

harvested without issue.

MARISHA: And the canine teeth. I’ll take that 15 for 25.

MATT: 25 total?

MARISHA: Total.

MATT: You take the rest of the head. You can see this terrible grin, this perpetually pulled smile

from its final moments. You manage to pull out, very cleanly, both of the canines from the inside

of the mouth.

MARISHA: Tiberius? Do you have any vials left over? Empty vials?

ORION: Yes, of course.

MARISHA: Can I try and harvest some of the blood, as well, to keep for personal use?

ORION: That’s exactly what I was going to do.

WILL: (gags) For the love of– (gags)

ORION: I’m taking some of the blood, for sure. Filling some vials.

MARISHA: Are you squeamish about blood, Kashaw?

WILL: I’m a healer!

MATT: It’s a little difficult, since a rather large portion of the rakshasa’s blood is currently

spattered across the floor, thanks to Vax. You manage to harvest one vial of its blood.

MARISHA: One vial?

MATT: One vial.

ORION: I’m going to take my dagger out, and I’m going to shave trimmings from his fur and his

whiskers. I’ll take those.

MATT: You currently have a vial of rakshasa shave scum.

WILL: Thorbir, you want the taint? There’s tons of magic in it.

(laughter)

WIL: I take the jeweled dagger, and I walk down to the corpse of the rakshasa. I drive the dagger

through one of the eye sockets, and I say, you will never harm my daughter.

MATT: The dagger is left there as a proclaiment, and all of you feel the weight behind that

whispered statement and decide it might be best to leave that dagger where it sits.

WIL: Let us conclude our business.

ORION: Very good.

MATT: As you’ve completed the harvesting, you notice the contract, the sigils that currently

lock it, flash and seem to vanish from the paper, your contract completed. For the sake of brevity,

you all manage to make your way– arduously and with much difficulty– not through the Amaranthine

Oubliette, because that would be difficult, but retracing your steps back through a tunnel which

has been sealed shut by iron pillars.

ORION: We have to break through those first. Fireball, fireball, fireball. Breaky, breaky,

breaky.

MATT: That’s a terrible idea. Creating explosions in small, enclosed, earthen tunnels is a really

good idea.

WILL: (laughs) No problem.

MATT: They completed the contract, but then all suffocated due to a sudden cave-in. It was so

unfortunate, the second team.

ORION: I had a bottle of air!

MATT: Everyone’s just permanently breathing air. It is the worst fate ever for a PC.

LIAM: Gather around. Watch what I can do!

(laughter)

MATT: It takes you a long time to retrace your steps and find your way through the entrapment,

especially since as you remove the iron pillars, the boulder then begins to roll past, so you carve

your way through. You make your way precariously back to the Velvet Cabaret, back into the room

where the rakshasa once lived. Do you wish to walk into the center of the Velvet Cabaret, covered in

various fluids?

WIL: Fuck yes, we do.

WILL: Yeah, I think absolutely.

MATT: All right. (boof) The door slams open and you all step into the center of the Velvet

Cabaret. As you do, two of the guards turn and see you exit. “Hey! Hey, wait! What are you doing?”

And they go for their blades to the side.

WILL: Seriously?

ORION: I turn around and go like, you really don’t want to do that, friend. Trust me, please.

MATT: Make an intimidation check.

ORION: Oh, what is that? 14.

MATT: 14? He rolled a three. He looks to the other guy. “As long as you’re leaving.”

ORION: (garbled) Draconian again.

(laughter)

WIL: Thorbir just keeps walking.

MATT: He sheathes the sword, and they give a wide berth. You can hear the music playing, and

everyone’s laughing. As you enter the room, the music comes to a stop.

MARISHA: Right before we leave, I turn and have a piece of pelt from the rakshasa, and I throw it at

the guard’s feet, and I say, here. That’s what’s left of your boss.

MATT: He steps back for a second. Some of the other patrons are watching this. Some look scared;

some look intrigued by this whole sudden arrival of strange warriors covered in various ichor.

Watching as you step out, a swarm of them look at the feet, and one of them goes, “Oh! They killed

"some sort of tiger!” That’s not an accent.

(laughter)

MATT: Another who’s watching says, “They bought that down at the market.” The guards take it and

lift it up with the blade and look strangely, and you see, coming out of the far corner, the bashful

owner of the establishment that you had previously knocked unconscious, looks out. Not wanting to

engage, just watching you as you leave with a look of fear on his face. You step out onto the

thoroughfare, close the door behind you, back into the Quad Roads district, making your way towards

the Slayer’s Take guildhall.

LIAM: On the way out, I grab two glasses of ale, and I hand one to this guy and just walk and don’t

say shit.

MATT: No one argues.

WIL: Thorbir is genuinely touched by this gesture.

MATT: As you sip, you make your way through the main thoroughfare back to the center of the

Quad Roads to the Slayer’s Take guildhall. You step inside, and there across the way, in

mid-conversation with his wife, is Mertin, talking to the Huntmaster, Vanessa. As you enter, they

both turn with a look of excited surprise.

“I assume that this means the contract went well, right?”

WIL: It’s done.

MARISHA: I take a canvas bag and I plop it on the table, full of the rakshasa bits.

MATT: (excited chuckles) He shows it to the Huntmaster. She glances down with a smile. “Very

"good. I am glad that we gave you such a trusted member as your overseer. You did well, Thorbir.

"Thank you for your effort in keeping these fledglings alive.”

ORION: One more insult, madam, and you will find your whole establishment on fire.

MARISHA: Tiberius.

ORION: I’m not in the mood.

MATT: “It’s not meant as an insult. I’m sorry, perhaps you do not understand that we speak with

"terms of endearment.”

ORION: Oh. Well, in that case, I take it as a compliment.

MATT: “Very well. So, looking at the contract. Is everything hopefully in order?” She takes it from

you, looks into the contents of the bag. “Very well. You shall be paid out in full and scattered

"amongst your party as you see fit.”

MARISHA: And our counterparts? The rest of our party, have they returned?

Have they checked in yet?

MATT: “Not yet. They are still out at the moment. They’ve been gone for about as long as you have

"been. You’ve returned faster than they have. Let us hope that they are safe. But I have faith. They

"seemed very intent on completing this without issue, so I would not be too worried. I will

"notify you upon their return, though.”

MARISHA: Please do.

MATT: “Where are you staying?”

MARISHA: Where are we staying?

WILL: I thought as members of the Take, you got to stay here?

MATT: “You could, if you like. We have room, and technically, as of this contract, you are all

"officially members of the Take. You may stay here, if you wish.”

ORION: I need a bed. And I motion towards the thing. I’m sleepy.

MARISHA: We’ll wait here.

MATT: “Very well. We shall hold off the ceremony for when the rest of your team arrives.”

WIL: If the rest of this team is half as good as these members, the Take has grown much stronger

this day. They’re worthy.

MATT: She crosses her arms and her usual jovial, passive attitude grows a little more stern. She

gives a nod of genuine respect towards Thorbir. And for the first time she looks about the rest of

you with a slightly intense look of really understanding the essence of strength between and

behind each of you. “I believe you’re correct. I think there will be great things ahead for us.

"Welcome to the Slayer’s Take.” She reaches down, brings up a small wooden chest. Sets it on the

edge and opens it. On the inside, you can see it is rather abundant in gold and platinum, of which

the total comes to– (counts quietly) 5,100 gold pieces for this contract.

That is 1,020 gold each.

MARISHA: 1,020 gold?

MATT: Correct.

WILL: You can split up my take amongst them. I take it my obligation has been fulfilled?

MATT: “It has.”

WILL: You know I have no desire to stay.

MATT: “If you insist. But you know that whenever you come back to our little humble abode, you

"always have a place to stay and work at your disposal, Brother Kash.”

WILL: Thank you. He turns and looks at the rest of his party. Well. It’s certainly been interesting.

ORION: It has been a pleasure and an honor, Kashaw. You as well, Thorbir. You are brave

warriors and would do well in the Draconian Knights.

WILL: Thank you, Stormwind.

ORION: He said my name right!

WILL: And you. You might be the most annoying person I’ve ever met in my life. With that, he

grabs her around the waist, pulls her in, and plants one right on her.

(laughter)

WILL: Turns, winks, and walks out of the room.

WIL: Thorbir sighs heavily and is annoyed.

MATT: “Very well. Welcome to the Slayer’s Take.” And with that,

we’ll close this evening’s session.

(laughter)

LIAM: What a button on the night!

(laughter)

MATT: Well done, guys. There were a few seriously clutch moments in those encounters there. You were

one roll away from losing the contract. Congrats on that. Guys, well done. Please, round of

applause for our fantastic guests these past couple of weeks.

(cheering)

MATT: Happy to have you in the player’s seat. You’ve been an absolute pleasure, man.

WIL: Thanks very much. Like I said last week, it’s weird. This is out of my comfort zone, to be in

this place. But yeah, this was really fun.

MATT: Awesome. Thank you for coming to be a part.

WIL: Yeah. And I’m glad that you all got to see that the legends are true.

ORION: It’s mind-boggling.

MARISHA: It’s so insane.

MATT: Absolutely surreal.

WIL: People always accuse me of taking it easy on my players. I really don’t.

(laughter)

LIAM: Dice aside, great character.

MARISHA: Keyleth got her first kiss!

TALIESIN: That was so awesome.

MATT: And Will Friedle, guys, who had never played.

WILL: Oh, yeah. I’ve never played. This was a ton of fun.

TALIESIN: You were amazing.

MARISHA: So good.

MATT: You totally gave Keyleth her first kiss.

(laughter)

WILL: And then vanish like a thief in the night!

MARISHA: Moments that Keyleth has dreamed of.

MATT: Damn, guys. All right, so we have our donation list for the evening.

ZAC: Lots of donations tonight.

ORION: And our warlock.

(cheering)

MARISHA: We fucking lived!

MARY: How was the kiss?

MARISHA: Oh my god. I got pink in the face. In real life.

TALIESIN: You two totally made out on graph paper.

MARY: You did!

WILL: I want to see that artwork.

TALIESIN: Oh, it’s coming. I heard the sound of 300 pencils going.

MARISHA: I have a cowboy who just rode into the sunset, you guys.

TALIESIN: Ship. He just shipped all over.

MATT: Darin, get in here!

LIAM: Kash money!

(laughter)

WILL: I know what you’ve got to do to get invited back.

MATT: Also, guys, this is a friend of the show. Darin, another amazing voice actor who’s a fan of

the show.

(cheering)

MATT: For all you Warcraft players, you’ve probably killed him as Blackhand in

Warlords of Draenor.

DARIN: How dare you?!

(laughter)

MATT: And so many other great characters. I’m so glad he could come and watch tonight.

[end of captions]