Transcript:Diablo One-Shot

List of Transcripts

MATT: Welcome to Sanctuary. We here at Critical Role are thrilled to be part of this celebration of the 30th anniversary of Blizzard. And, of course, the announcement of Diablo II: Resurrected I'm super excited about! And as part of that, we are putting together this very special, 100% original Diablo one-shot today, set in this awesome universe. I've been a fan of Diablo since the first one. It was one of the reasons I first bought a PC back in middle school. I'm old. And just super excited to be able to play in this space today with these wonderful people. Speaking of wonderful people, let's go ahead and do a round of introductions to our players for this one-shot, beginning with Mica Burton.

MICA: Hi, I'm Mica. I'm going to be playing a wizard and I'm super excited to kill a lot of things, 'cause that's what Diablo's about, right? That's what Diablo is about?

MATT: That's kind of what Diablo's about.

MICA: Sweet.

MATT: You got this.

MICA: Awesome. I got this.

MATT: Yeah! Laura Bailey.

LAURA: That and looting because that's what I'm here for. I am Laura Bailey and I'm playing a druid today.

MATT: Brilliance.

MARISHA: Ooh.

MATT: Liam O'Brien.

LIAM: Hello, I'm Liam O'Brien and I'm going to be the crusader for the group and I'm excited to be the tank in a D&D game for the first time ever. (laughter)

MATT: Carlos Luna.

CARLOS: Hey, I'm Carlos Luna. I'm gonna be playing a necromancer with a little demon worm in his brain. So yeah.

LAURA: (laughs) Like you do.

MATT: Perfect.

CARLOS: Yeah, like you do! (laughter)

MATT: And Marisha.

MARISHA: I am Marisha Ray and I will be playing a demon hunter, not voiced by Laura Bailey, even though she's at this table. Pew pew!

MATT: Meta awkwardness.

MARISHA: Those were my crossbows. (laughter)

MATT: Is that the sound they make? Pew pew?

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: I love it. Perfect.

LIAM: Maybe we can find one moment in the game, though, where you could throw your voice and you could just sort of ADR.

LAURA: Yeah. Could you--

MARISHA: Oh, sure, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: ADR it? Perfect.

LAURA: Watermelon. Watermelon.

LAURA OFFSCREEN: Yeah. Ooh, that's good, Marisha. (laughter)

MATT: All right. No more of that. (laughter)

MICA: Squash that immediately.

MATT: Exactly. If you want to to watch this campaign again or check out any of the other amazing free content as part of these BlizzConline event, visit blizzcon.com and tonight's adventure that you'll see here shortly will be available on our Critical Role YouTube channel soon enough. Thanks to Blizzard and BlizzCon for bringing us to be a part of the celebration and to make this game possible as part of the event. I think that's it. So that all being said, let's go ahead and jump into this special one-shot for BlizzConline. Diablo.

MARISHA: Ooh hoo hoo hoo.

MATT: In the world of Sanctuary, darkness carries far. The mortal realm between the high heavens and the burning hells, life in his lands is ever a struggle, caught in the middle of this eternal conflict. The hearts of men fall easily to corruption and ancient evil ever seeks to spill into this world to sow chaos and blanket the realm in fire and shadow. In a time of shallow peace, you've each set out to make your fortunes in the world, whether to combat the evil that lurks in every lightless space or to seek the answers to the countless forgotten mysteries. that call out to the curious. You've come together in finding common purpose against the plague of evils and made a name for yourselves in the region of Westmarch here. You found yourself summoned by a Horadric scholar called the Deckard Cain. Under the dim call of candlelight, Deckard asked for your aid, "Hello, my friends! I have heard of your great deeds already and find myself in need of others with such skills as yours. The home of my youth, the humble village of Tristram fell to flame and evil years ago. Abandoned, the ruins of Tristram have since been nothing but ash and memories often targeted by looters and grave robbers. However, rumors swirl of something dark and violent stirring beneath the cathedral. And, given the history of that place, I've foreboding worry of what might be lingering there. I would ask you five to journey to the ruins of Tristram, seek the source of these rumors, and cleanse the cathedral of what terrors might reside below. I'd like to put the souls of those lost finally to rest." After braving days of freezing wind and the persistent rain that still haunts you.

LIAM: 10 out of 10.

MATT: Indeed. (laughter) Sorry, Michael Gough. You finally reach the edge of the surrounding hills, looking down to the ghastly echo of the village once known as Tristram. Walking through the mud and charred foundations of what you imagine was once a modest township, you can't help but imagine what horrors must have fallen upon the denizens. Slowly, your eyes fall upon the partially crumbled stone structure to the north, the cathedral. You grasp at your weapons tightly as you enter the semi-fallen structure, finding solace within here from the rain. Stepping across the stone floor, your vision skips from broken window to fallen candelabra until you find the staircase descending to the depths below. The shine catches your eye, seeing a single gold coin resting atop of the first stair. As you descend these steps into the first layer of the crypt below, what do they see as the demon hunter sets in?

MARISHA: Two heavy footsteps step in, and you see a big skull, a cow skull first, that has detail of gold filigree emblazoning it with the general calf skull motif on the rest of her armor, little flecks of golds, and two crossbows. This is Tauro, the Demon Hunter, returning home to her hometown of Tristram, but she hasn't been here since she was a little girl, growing up on her cattle farm and she is most definitely no longer recognizable to anyone who might know her.

MATT: Fair enough, all righty.

MARISHA: (British accent) Laslo, come on, get in here.

CARLOS: Yeah, of course, of course. And you see Laslo step in. He's a young man, his forearms are missing flesh and skin. It's just bone that you can see and it's surrounded by this purple glow around it, same thing with his left calf as well. He has two scythes and they look like barber blades, like shaving blades. That's how they're shaped, like L-shapes. And he's very wide eye, but at the same time, you would notice that his body language and his eyes change sometimes and he starts hunching and smirking. And then back to wide eye again. Oh, yes, right away, yeah, okay.

MATT: All right, as you tumble down the stairway to follow the Demon Hunter companion. Mordred, if you don't mind.

LIAM: (gruff) Shining in the darkness is Mordred the Gaunt. (laughter) Not a hair on my head, bald and pale and dark of eye. Sallow-cheeked. In golden armor of latticework shining with my Zakara, a word I looked up on Wikipedia earlier today. I carry a morning star and a tall, slender shield and I look with a lean and hungry gaze, wanting to eliminate corruption. Stay close.

MATT: As Mordred steps into the central landing chamber, if you wouldn't mind.

LAURA: (sinister whisper) Well, before you ever see Remuil, you hear the swarm of insects that follows her, a buzzing that enters the room before she does. She steps in, hair over one eye, a bit of a mess. Green and black armor that's more like vines and reptile skin. Two snakes encircle her arms. They look around, her fingernails very long. She seems happy to be here (laughs faintly).

MATT: And following in, the final member of this troop.

MICA: At first Indra walks in and she fixes her hair as it's been messy on the ride in. She immediately goes to the gold and picks it up off the floor and scoffs at everyone who didn't realize there was treasure lying there.

MATT and LAURA: (laugh)

MICA: And you see these beautiful raven feathers encircling her neck like a collar, very beautiful cleavage on display. (laughter) And a tiny, raven-feathered bra top. I also, on Wikipedia, saw that this is the wizard couture. (laughter) Just one swath of blue fabric going across making this very skimpy dress. Interestingly, her right arm is completely burned up to her forearm and she has some gold fingernails, probably smelted from all of her loot and she has a large staff that swirls with dark magic at the end of it. She says nothing, but she pockets the gold into her cleavage.

MATT: You got it. As you all finally descend the last bit of stairs, you finally land in the crypt entryway chambers. You can see immediately in the torchlight that you have carrying into this lightless space, glistening sparkles and other smattering of scattered gold coins, maybe a dozen or so, that spill out in the middle of the old dusty stonework that greets you here. The smell of decay and old, musty, stale air catches your nose. You can see alcove displays nearby in the sides of stone walls and the low ceiling. Statues, angelic statues, sit within these little alcoves, though in various states of disrepair, while numerous puddles of wax form at the corners of various elements of decor, where candles once lit these chambers before they burned down to nothing. A faint growl echoes in the shadow beyond your sight. As you all continue on a bit, keeping your eyes peeled, the pathway splits into three directions, a T-intersection, so early in this crypt.

MARISHA: Any indication of which direction the growl's coming from?

MATT: Make a perception check.

LAURA: Are there any clay pots around?

MATT: Make a perception check. (laughter)

MARISHA: 17.

MATT: 17. Very good, actually. The growl, while the echoes seem to be somewhat amorphous to the distance, you listen closely and can hear a faint bit of grinding and another low guttural rumble, similar to that initial growl from the path directly ahead. You rolled a--?

LAURA: 13.

MATT: 13. Yeah, there's a pot right to the left of you.

LAURA: (growls)

MATT: (smashing) It smashes and breaks to the ground leaving four gold pieces because why wouldn't there be gold in a pot in a crypt? (laughter) Diablo. (laughter) All right.

MARISHA: Well, it seems as if trouble might be awaiting us ahead. Do we want to start there or pick one of the sides?

LAURA: Straight ahead, I say.

LIAM: We're here to eradicate the darkness.

MICA: No point in wasting time. Let's go.

CARLOS: Bag of bones, so scared on the inside. Bag of bones does not want to go. Onyx does, and he scurries off.

LAURA: That guy creeps me out every time.

MARISHA: Every time.

MARISHA: Laslo is in a mood today. All right. (laughter)

MATT: Well, moving forward, as Laslo, you are taking point on this one. Creeping forward, you initially stepped through the stone arches and you can see they're deep set with cracks all around you. The crunch of shale and bone breaks beneath your bootfalls as you step, it loud in your ears amongst the still silence that surrounds you. The hall carries on for quite a bit forward, but the walls begin to narrow ever so slightly before finally coming to an end where you can subtly see with the torchlight as it approaches behind you, it looks like a pile of corpses lie on the ground. Human at one part, but even just at a quick glance, you can see they're bloody and torn apart. You guys would notice that the back of Laslo has changed from hunched over to up straight and darting his head left and right. Um, there are-- Uh, ooh, uh. There are corpses everywhere.

MARISHA: Yeah. We're in a cathedral. Yeah, there's a tomb down here.

MICA: Are you surprised by the fact that people are-- we knew people were dead down here.

CARLOS: Well, I know that. I just meant, yay for us, we picked the right way, okay?

MARISHA: Yeah. You're not wrong.

LAURA: How fresh do the bodies look?

MATT: If you want to make medicine check to inspect.

LAURA: Do I have medicine?

MATT: Should be a skill there. It doesn't mean you have to be good at it, necessarily.

LAURA: There's no medicine; there's survival.

MATT: Sorry, medicine-- Oh, I did remove that one. Nature, then.

LAURA: Nature.

MATT: Sorry, my bad.

LAURA: That's not good. Which is weird! Seeing as how I grew up in a swamp and all. 17.

MATT: 17, not too bad. Inspecting the bodies as you lean down and look across the corpses. The blood is congealed. They've been dead for a little bit of time and some of them look fresh, some of them look old, like something keeps coming back to feed at times. But some of them are very fresh and you can see where bone has been splintered and broken. There are gouges in the exposed elements of the heavier white bone that peeks out. Teeth marks, claw marks.

LAURA: An animal did this. I would know.

MATT: (growls) That growl creeps back in and you, hearing that, glance up and just as you catch the edge of the torchlight, the height of the building, your eyes now see lining the upper roof and ceiling of this chamber, a dozen or so of these gray-skinned humanoid beings with elongated limbs all just hanging, quietly waiting as the torchlight glistens past their eyes, reflecting once and in that brief moment of tension as you hear that growl. (roar) They all begin to leap down towards you. I need everybody to roll initiative.

MICA: Oh my god!

LAURA: Right into it. Aw, come on!

MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay.

CARLOS: Nat 20.

MARISHA: Ooh!

LAURA: Good for you, Laslo.

CARLOS: Onyx loves 20s.

MATT: All right, initiatives. 25 to 20?

MICA: Dirty 20.

MATT: Dirty 20. And what's your initiative?

CARLOS: 19. (laughs) Negative one.

MATT: There you go. All right. So we have Indra, and Laslo. There is an ambush round because nobody inspected the vicinity beforehand for the signs of that, so they do go first. 20 to 15?

MARISHA: 15.

MATT: 15, all right. That's Tauro. 15 to 10.

LIAM: 12.

MATT: 12, all right, we have Mordred. And?

LAURA: Four, baby.

MATT: We have Remy. All right. As it begins, you see swarming down ten of these ghoulish creatures begin to just surround and tear and gnash. Three of them are going after you, three of them are going to be swarming you, and then it's going to be-- so we'll do yours first. So the three against you. It's a miss. Does a 12 hit? Miss, and that does hit. So two of them go streaking up towards you, claws towards you, one of them holding a giant hooked rusted blade, swings it wide and cuts into you for three points of physical damage. So that three on you, not much of an effect. The three that are storming you, Laslo. That's going to be a 10, which I believe misses, 18, which does hit.

CARLOS: That hits.

MATT: And 21.

CARLOS: Yeah.

MATT: So as you're backing away, you start seeing yourself swarmed as these creatures rush towards you, their jaws open with horrible, spiked teeth thick, greenish, phlegm-like liquid pouring out of the inside of it as they run towards you, claws out. (growls) As they slash, you takes six points of physical damage from two that managed to break through your defense. (laughter)

LAURA: Our hit points are not very high.

MATT: Two end up swarming towards you, Tauro. 21.

MARISHA: Hits.

MATT: And an 11.

MARISHA: Miss.

MATT: All right. As they both come swarming up towards you, one jumps up and you manage to catch it with the side of your forearms and shove it off of you. But at that point, another one crawls up and ends up biting into the side of your shoulder and clavicle area. You take three points of physical damage. And the last two would be against one against each of you. That is a 24 versus Mordred.

LIAM: That hits.

MATT: And a nine versus Indra.

MICA: Doesn't hit.

MATT: All right, so you take three points of physical damage, Mordred, as one of them jumps up onto your shield and claws over and just catches the side of your forehead there. You can feel the blood begin to run down into your eye.

LIAM: (growls)

MATT: Top of the round now, Indra, you're up first.

MICA: I'm going to electrocute-- You said there are three over here on Remy?

MATT: There are three on Remy, yes.

MICA: Okay, I'm going to try and electrocute one of them and two other next to it.

MATT: You've got it, all right.

MICA: Which is a DC of 16.

MATT: Gotcha. So as you reach out with your staff in one hand, you see this energy begin to charge up into your arm and then suddenly rocket out towards the one and spread off and forks into the other two that are right next to you, Remy. You watch as the electricity charges through their body. What's the DC on that? Is it 16?

MICA: 16 dexterity.

MATT: That's a fail, a fail, and a success.

MICA: Darn.

MATT: So go ahead and roll damage on those.

MICA: All right. That's 11. So, yeah.

MATT: All right. All righty. So as it shocks through them all (shriek), they shrink back and scream. Two of them look extremely hurt, but they're still holding on and they're hungry and they're just running on starved instinct at this point. None of them fall, but they're looking pretty damaged. Did you want to stay put to towards the back?

MICA: As a bonus action, I'm going to teleport a little bit further just out of any physical range.

MATT: You got it. All right, so you watch as Indra suddenly (whooshes) vanishes from sight and you hear footfalls in the darkness behind you about 20, 30 or so feet. All right, finishing your go, Indra, that brings us to Laslo. Tauro, you're on deck.

CARLOS: Great. There's two in front of me now? There's two on me?

MATT: There's three on you.

CARLOS: Three on me, gotcha. I want to grab one by the head and cast Siphon Blood.

MATT: Okay, all righty.

MARISHA: That's cool. Okay, go ahead and roll an attack on that one.

CARLOS: And that is a 12.

MATT: 12 just hits. You reach out and grab it and pull it in, now with the light there, you can see its eyes. Its odd milky, white greenish tint to it. What's the damage on that one?

CARLOS: Nine.

MATT: Nine damage?

CARLOS: Yeah.

MATT: All right.

LIAM: Sorry.

MATT: As you (whooshes) pull out of it, you watch as it screams and squeals and you pull the life force, whatever element of life force still remains in this odd, twisted abomination. It damages it heavily, but it's still standing and wriggling in your grasp. But you do heal 1d4 for damage from that, though.

CARLOS: Three.

MATT: Okay, and don't forget to mark your essence you get from that one. Cool. Do you want to stay put or do you wish to move?

CARLOS: As a bonus action, I'd like to cast Devour.

MATT: Devour would require corpses nearby.

CARLOS: Aren't there corpses on the floor?

MATT: Actually, yes, there are.

CARLOS: There's a bunch of them.

MATT: You can totally do that, yeah. That's right. I was like, "They're not dead, but other people are." Yeah, you can.

CARLOS: How many are fresh within 30 feet?

MATT: Five "fresh" corpses, in the sense that their essence has not been taken.

CARLOS: Mmm! (laughter)

MICA: What a cheerful necromancer!

LAURA: Yep! (laughter)

MARISHA: Nom nom nom! Fresh corpses!

CARLOS: Fresh baked bread. Great.

MATT: So there you go. So you get your essence in that one.

CARLOS: Yep.

MATT: And you're staying put?

CARLOS: Will they get attack of opportunity if I--

MATT: They would.

CARLOS: They would? Yeah, I'll say put.

MATT: Okay, you got it. All right, cool, that finishes Laslo's turn. Tauro, you're up. Mordred, you're on deck.

MARISHA: Okay, I am going to try to shuffle this one that's on me off a bit. I'm going to pull out one of my crossbows and go (firing) Hungering Arrow twice into the side of its head.

MATT: You got it.

MARISHA: Pew pew! Ew. First one was a natural three, which I don't think hits with an 11.

MATT: Just misses, unfortunately. It's too close to you and it's fighting in your grasp and goes wide.

MARISHA: But the other one is a natural 19 for 27.

MATT: That definitely hits.

MARISHA: Which is 1d6. Okay, eight damage.

MATT: Nice. So that one also, it goes right in the head and part of the head breaks off and you can see the open wound there. It's heavily hurt, but it's still holding on, angry and hungry. Staying put?

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: All right, that finishes your go. Mordred, you're up. Remy, you're on deck.

LIAM: Roughly, how many of these are there to view?

MATT: They're all pretty clustered right now. Since you guys were all in the same area. There are 10 of them currently in the middle of this battle. All of them are within 15 or so feet of you.

LIAM: And there's one on me.

MATT: There's one on you.

LIAM: I'm going to back away from it intentionally, risking an attack and provoke all of them.

MATT: Okay, so it takes one swing at you (growling). For 20. So you take three points of physical damage, but you manage to pull away and you're going to provoke, you said.

LIAM: All 10 of them need to beat a DC 14 wisdom save. And for every failure, I wrack up Wrath.

MATT: Indeed, all right. What's the DC?

LIAM: 14.

MATT: 14. First one's a success. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail.

MARISHA: So wait, did you just?

MATT: Success. Fail.

MARISHA: You just lured them all onto him?

MATT: Fail.

MARISHA: That's cool.

MICA: That's a good tank.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Fail, so two succeeded. So it's eight.

LIAM: Eight total.

MATT: Eight that failed.

LIAM: So I'm going to back up and stop five feet in front of Indra, drawing them toward me. They have to attack me and I now have full Wrath.

MATT: There you go. So describe how that looks to the troop here.

LIAM: I just back up and say: Come, lost ones. (laughter)

MARISHA: Lost ones, yeah.

MATT: Perfect.

LIAM: Make your peace quickly. The armor just starts to glow through the lattice work as they start to (growl) as he backs away towards the mageling nerd.

MATT: Awesome. So you watch all these creatures, even the ones that are up in your face, all of a sudden turn, except for a couple of them, turn over towards Mordred, begin to make their movements when it's their next go. Remy, you're up.

LAURA: Okay, number one, the swarm of insect starts to get louder and louder, and for my bonus action, I'm going to have my swarm of insects, a-swarm the one that attacked me. The one that actually got the hit in.

MATT: You got it, all righty. That-- There it is. Go ahead and roll for the attack on that.

LAURA: 20.

MATT: 20 definitely hits.

LAURA: All right. So that does (thinking noises). 2d4. Five-- Seven points of damage to the little shit. And then I would like to hold my action, my attack, until the creatures move towards.

MATT: You've got it. All right. Although, actually keeping in mind in that, because you start with zero Spirit, you have to build it up, and that does cost Spirit.

LAURA: Oh, you start with zero!

MATT: Start with zero. Yeah, you got to build it up.

LAURA: Good to know!

MATT: That's all good.

LAURA: I understand now. In that case, screw it, I'm going to maul the one in front of me, too!

MATT: All right, you got that. Okay.

LAURA: I instantly (boof) and turn into a giant werecrocodile. Reptilian, very large, very large mouth.

MATT: You got it. All right, so using your action to maul the one that's in front of you.

LAURA: Yeah!

MATT: Go ahead and roll an attack on that one. Well, use the same attack since you already rolled for that one.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: So we'll carry that over, go ahead and roll damage for the maul against the one attacked you.

LAURA: Seven.

MATT: Seven damage. That's still enough. So as you swoop out, you watch as this giant crocodile face suddenly sprouts from the front of Remy and slams down onto one of these creatures. Its screams from the inside muffled one it's enclosed in the mouth and as the jaw tightens, it goes limp. Spitting it onto the ground.

MARISHA: Nice.

MATT: Cool. So you are a currently transformed, which means you do get your bonus to AC while you're shapeshifted.

LAURA: Sweet.

MATT: All right. That did generate Spirit, so now you could also swarm now that you have that to use, if you wanted to.

LAURA: Well, there you go. I'll do that, too, then. (laughter) So I'll roll for attack on that one.

MATT: You got it.

LAURA: That definitely hits. That's a 21.

MATT: All right. Roll damage for the swarm now.

LAURA: 10.

MATT: 10, yeah, that'll do it. So after that one falls and you pull back, angry in your gator form, you watch as the insects swarm around one of the second ones that was still recoiling from the shock that was delivered by Indra at the beginning of this combat round. As the insects swarm around it, it begins to screech loudly (screeches) before the silence hits, the insects pull away, and just see mostly skeletal, upper torso as it falls to its knees and splats on the ground, dead. All right.

MARISHA: Nice.

MATT: You finishing your round there?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: All right. Laslo, you're up. Tauro, you're on deck.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: Actually, you know what? Sorry, the creatures have to go first.

CARLOS: Yeah.

MATT: My bad. So the swarm that's there, two of them have fallen. There's still one against you, Remy. That's going to be an 11 to hit, which misses (growls), goes against you. Three still up against you, but this one actually is now going to-- The three against you are going to go after you. So they begin to rush away in your direction. Let's see there. That's a 24. It rolled a natural 19.

LIAM: Hits.

LAURA: Do you get of an of-- (blows raspberry) an attack of opportunity against the ones that ran away from you?

CARLOS: Oh, yeah.

MATT: Yeah, so you just take a singular strike against one of them, if you want to, with your Siphon Blood.

CARLOS: Okay, yeah, let's do that. 14.

MATT: 14 does hit. Go ahead and roll damage on that.

CARLOS: Cool. Seven, 13.

MATT: 13, all right. The one that's rushing away from you, which would have been the one that first attacked him, so that one's nullified, tries to scoot away and as it does, you manage to slam it with your Siphon Blood. And as you do, you pull the last bit of its undead life force out. It crumbles to the ground and withers in the spot like a spider curling its legs in. So that first attack does not actually come at you.

LIAM: Hey! That's my necromancer. (laughter)

MARISHA: Thank your local necromancer.

MATT: So one miss and the second miss. They both come at you rolling terribly.

LIAM: (impacts)

MATT: The other two that were coming at you, one of them stays.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: The other one that succeeded. So that's going to be against you. That is going to be an 11 to hit.

MARISHA: Miss.

MATT: Misses. The other one runs towards you. You do get an attack, although you are ranged at this point. So I will say that you don't necessarily have that.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: That is a 12 against you.

LIAM: (whooshing)

MATT: All right, and then there's the two that were already on you. 12 and 14.

LIAM: No.

MATT: Does not hit. And the last one that's against you rushes past and heads over towards you as well. That's going to be a 12. They're rolling real bad.

LIAM: Back to the darkness. (laughter)

MATT: So now there is a mighty swarm of these surviving ghouls that are all just scrambling over and around the proximity of Mordred, who's just pushing back at the shield, flail spinning in the air angrily, getting amped up. That finishes their go. Now, we're back to Indra and then it's Laslo.

MICA: I'm going to just electrocute in the middle, if they're all piling around him just to try and hit three again.

MATT: Sure, you can do that, yeah.

MICA: Yeah.

MATT: Go ahead and roll for an attack.

MICA: All right. Oh wait, no, it's a DC 16.

MATT: Oh, that's not a roll attack roll.

MICA: Yeah.

MATT: That's a success. Success. Wow, they're rolling high, And a fail.

MICA: All right.

MATT: So go ahead and roll damage on that.

MICA: 10.

MATT: 10 damage, all right, so that's five. Still takes out one of them, who was previously damaged by the electrocute before.

MICA: Dope.

MATT: And then the other two take half damage. So the energy sparks off and the other two that it hits after the first one pops from the pulse of electrical energy. The other two get shaken by it, but still continue to focus their attention angrily on Mordred, though some of them are starting to lose their luster fighting against this iron wall of a person. All right, anything else you want to do from your side?

MICA: Yeah, since Mordred brought all of them to me, I'm going to teleport again on the other side.

MATT: (laughs) Okay, go for it.

MICA: So I'm going to use a bonus action to--

LAURA: Thanks a lot, Mordred. (laughter)

MATT: All right, so Indra is just playing teleporting chess piece over there.

MICA: Yeah.

MATT: Finishing your turn. Laslo, you're up. Tauro, you're on deck.

MARISHA: Okay.

CARLOS: As soon as the other guy hits the floor, Laslo's demeanor changes again and now he's near the ground pushing corpses aside to look for one that looks just about right. And Onyx is just like: Oh, second chance friend, yes, second chance. Ooh! And I'm going to cast Command Skeletons and bring one of them back.

MATT: Okay, so you're currently in the process of this harried combat. You reach over to find one of the corpses mostly eaten and as you draw forth the undeath from within, you watch as this body-- suddenly, a skeletal hand pushes through its own flesh. It's like watching a skeleton claw its way out of the body that once contained it and the bones that were ones broken and pulled apart snap together until eventually, you watch this humanoid skeleton, in all of its still gashed and clawed glory, stand (crackles) right next to you.

CARLOS: Gruesome. I also love how you have a spot for-- I can name this skeleton.

MATT: Yes, you can, if you want to.

CARLOS: As if it's a pet of some sort.

MATT: Yeah!

CARLOS: Like, that would be great to, you know.

MICA: Well, what's his name?

CARLOS: God, what do you think would be-- Spellslots. That's his name.

MICA: Spellslots?

CARLOS: Yeah, Spellslots, 'cause I will be out of him soon. (laughter)

LIAM: You trying to find the right one gave me a vision of being at the grocery store and going like, "Which one's the right avocado? No, no," squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, "no."

MATT: That skeleton right there.

CARLOS: This got some good bones.

MATT: All right. And your skeleton can take a turn if he wants to.

CARLOS: Oh, really, on this turn?

MATT: Yeah.

CARLOS: Okay, I'll send him out to go hit one of those bad guys that it's running after.

MATT: You got it. So the skeleton immediately after forming up, (crackles) lunges forward and takes a swing at one of the ghouls.

CARLOS: 14.

MATT: 14 does hit, actually, so go ahead and roll damage.

CARLOS: (laughs) Three.

MATT: Three damage. Not a whole lot, but, you know, it doesn't hurt either.

CARLOS: Spellslots, come on, he's so cute.

MATT: Yeah!

LIAM: Good boy, Spellslots!

CARLOS: Spellslots is smaller than the other skeletons.

MICA: But he's trying his best.

CARLOS: He's really tiny. (laughter)

MATT: Perfect. That finish your turn, Laslo?

CARLOS: As a bonus action, I want to, while I'm still down there looking for corpses, I want to cast Bone Armor.

MATT: Okay, go for it.

MARISHA: Nice.

MATT: So from the other corpses that you did not choose from, two of the other nearby ones, you watch as sections of their bone begins to also pull out of the flesh, the soft, easy to tear through flesh, and then begin to assemble around you like this suit of white, pale, somewhat bloody armor.

CARLOS: I love it. (thinking noises) Six.

MATT: All right, so you have six temporary hit points from that.

CARLOS: Yeah.

MATT: Awesome, finishing Laslo's turn. Tauro, you're up. Mordred, you're on deck.

MARISHA: Okay, I'm going to-- just really pissed off at these ones that are here. I'm going to push the one that's on me off. I'm going to spend 12 Hatred to do rapid fire.

MATT: You got it.

MARISHA: And just go-- just full-on every moving body that I can see. So the one that's on me, first one, that was cocked. Okay, that is 13.

MATT: 13 to hit, you said?

MARISHA: Yeah, to hit.

MATT: That hits.

MARISHA: And let's see, these are d6 plus two. Ugh. Three damage on that one.

MATT: Three damage, all right. He's still standing. This is the same one you shot earlier. He's riddled with holes and (growls).

MARISHA: 15 to hit.

MATT: That hits.

MARISHA: Okay, that should do it. Eight damage?

MATT: It takes him out (screeches). Falls to the ground.

MARISHA: Okay, that was two shots.

MATT: Four more attacks.

MARISHA: To the one that's-- Actually, I'm going to go to the ones that are on Laslo. Okay. 18 to hit.

MATT: There's only one left on Laslo. The other one's rushed towards-- or I think, actually, all of them rushed towards Mordred, yeah.

CARLOS: Yeah, their backs are probably towards me now.

MARISHA: All right, the ones that are rushing away from Laslo. So 18 to hit on that one.

MATT: That hits.

MARISHA: It's seven damage.

MATT: Seven damage, all right. That one still standing, but it's looking real rough.

MARISHA: I'm going to hit him again. Ooh, yikes, 11?

MATT: 11 does not hit.

MARISHA: Okay, I'm going to shoot at him again. That should do it, 18 to hit.

MATT: That hits.

MARISHA: And that's eight damage.

MATT: That one falls (groaning).

MARISHA: And I've got one more shot to the next one that I can see. That's a seven, so 12 to hit.

MATT: 12 just hits.

MARISHA: Great. Ugh, one? Three damage.

MATT: Three damage, all right. So after you angrily turn around, channeling your Hatred, (rapid firing) unleash this barrage of crossbow shots in the direction, you watch as three of these creatures, (thumps) fall to the ground, no longer moving. (exhales loudly) You steady yourself.

MARISHA: Filth. (laughter)

MATT: Perfect. That finish your turn?

MARISHA: That finishes my turn.

MATT: All right, Tauro is done. Mordred, you're up. Remy, you're on deck.

LIAM: I heft my shield and it begins to emit white radiant fire and I will use Shield Bash and I will charge one of them and any of the others that are within five feet of it must all make a dex save and take holy damage.

MATT: You've got it.

LIAM: By the light, be damned!

MATT: You watch as the shield suddenly begins to fill with this radiant energy and with a sudden impacting blast like iron on stone, this echoing explosion (crashing) across the inside of this crypt catches your ears as you see this flash of energy. What's the damage of this?

LIAM: 20 points, if they fail.

MATT: Good roll. Well, that's a fail, fail, fail, and fail. With that final flash, you watch as the bodies go flying and the few still standing ghouls are scattered in pieces across the far end of this chamber. A silence once more takes the interior of this dungeon.

LAURA: I (whooshing) and turn back into my human form.

MARISHA: (relieved sigh) That was a nice one.

LIAM: [Inaudible] (laughter)

MICA: But I think it's agreed: Next time we walk into a hallway, we check the ceilings. That was unnecessary.

LAURA: But it was fun!

MARISHA: I know. Feeling really good, actually.

MICA: You're not the one covered in goblin parts.

MARISHA: No, I actually looked pretty good damn good. All right, shall we continue on?

MATT: This is the end of the hall, actually. It ends here at the bodies. It narrowed and then came to a finishing end.

LAURA: Shit, we went the wrong way. Turn around!

MARISHA: Is there anything else here? Any clay pots?

MATT: There are three pots, no chest, there are the tattered corpses and the three pots. That's all there is.

LAURA: I run to one of them. (growls) Is anyone else going to claim the other pot, because I'm going for it.

MICA: Matt, I want to Magic Missile one of the pots.

MATT: All right. You'd have to teleport there. I'm just saying, because right now there is a weregator that is just wading into them.

LAURA: (growls)

LAURA: Can I use my maul action to maul the clay pots?

MATT: I'll allow it. You don't gain any spirit from it, but you can.

LIAM: I've got a whole sheet of unpopped bubble wrap for you.

MATT: Okay, you can do that.

MICA: Okay, I want one pot. I call one pot.

MATT: All right, there you go. So one pot bursts with a blast of arcane energy from your Magic Missile, causing it to scatter across the chamber. Four gold drops from that one.

MICA: Yes! (laughs)

MATT: The two other ones that you tear into, Remy, one of them contains 40 gold pieces. (exclamations)

MATT: And the other is empty.

LAURA: Okay, well, that was worth it.

LIAM: It is strange, though, most things you hit in this world do tend to erupt into gold coins.

MARISHA: I agree.

LAURA: Strange? How's that strange?

LIAM: I try not to question it, but where do they come from? I once hit a waffle and it turned into three gold coins.

CARLOS: We're, like, one act away from The Truman Show right here? (laughter)

CARLOS: Video game? (laughter)

MARISHA: Maybe there's another realm, where there's just piles of gold.

LIAM: Pocket dimension.

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: A distant echo of some distance screech suddenly cuts you off this deep metaphysical conversation.

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughter)

LAURA: Did it sound like it came from the left or the right path?

LIAM: Do you hear that? The narrative structure is calling us.

MATT: Make a perception check. (laughter)

MARISHA: I feel a deep calling.

LAURA: Nine.

MATT: Hard to tell. It sounded pretty muffled, but nothing beyond that, really.

LAURA: Did you hear a call? Something's around.

MARISHA: Which direction? I don't know. I couldn't tell, it was muffled.

MARISHA: Did anyone else hear it?

MATT: No, you guys were having conversations.

MARISHA: We were talking about metaphysics.

LAURA: Oh yeah. I'm going to go back out to where the three branches start.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Back it up, everyone.

MATT: All right, so you're back at the T-intersection facing the other direction, you have right and left.

LAURA: I'm going to hold my wrist up and let my snake lick the air and see if it points in a certain direction.

MARISHA: Oh, that's cool.

MATT: Okay. (laughter) The snake is unfamiliar with crypt environments and is uncertain how to tell which direction to go.

LAURA: It's all right, baby. You'll get it some day.

MATT: It slithers sadly back onto your wrist.

LAURA: It's okay.

LIAM: Familiars can sometimes be disappointing.

MICA: I'd like press my ear to the ground and see if I can hear where the call and rumbling is coming from.

MATT: Okay, make a perception check.

MICA: Okay. 19.

MATT: 19, not bad. As you put your ear against the stone in the ground, you hear faint scraping noises from both directions.

MICA: Which scraping sounds eviler?

MATT: There's more of them to the right. More independent and fainter one to the left.

MICA: Okay. The right seems dangerous. The left also seems dangerous. Take your pick.

LIAM: What are you feeling?

MICA: I'm feeling if we're looking for some fun, we go to the right. If we're looking to stay safe, we go to the left.

LAURA: Right, it is.

MARISHA: Let's go to the right.

MICA: You guys are psychopaths.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: All right. You all travel to the right and for about 15 feet, you all have your weapons at the ready, eyes peeled. You come upon a massive, solid iron door that has chains pulled across the front of it and a heavy lock affixed to it.

MARISHA: Hmm. I actually might be able to handle this. I'm going to to try and pick it.

MATT: Okay, go ahead and roll a d20, add your dexterity modifier.

MARISHA: Okay. Just my straight dex?

MATT: Just your dex mod.

MARISHA: Okay. Aw, poop, that was almost great! 15 total, or sorry, 13 total. Rolled an eight.

MATT: 13. Okay. With a 13, you watch as your awesome, badass, on her home turf Demon Hunter gets down and takes out her thieves' tools.

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: And with a whip of the wrist, achieve nothing. It is not budging.

LAURA: Do we need to get a key?

LIAM: What about your horns?

MARISHA: Nope, just give me a moment. I just punch it. I just try and punch it like the Fonz.

MATT: Make a strength check.

LIAM: Tauro, Tauro.

MARISHA: Why couldn't have that been my lockpicking check? What's my strength? I have no, but 18.

MATT: 18, good roll. Your knuckles are bleeding.

MARISHA: (frustrated panting) Blast. Yeah, I think we need to find a key.

MATT: With the heavy impact against an iron door, the echo on the other side (vibrations) definitely reverberates throughout the nearby chambers. You get the sense that any sort of sense of surprise you may have had at this point, you've definitely made your presence known in the proximity of this door.

MARISHA: It was the door's fault.

MICA: Well, if the surprise is ruined, I'll just Magic Missile the lock.

MATT: Okay, go ahead and roll some damage.

MICA: All right, just damage? I don't even need to roll the hit?

MATT: Roll to hit, just in case.

MICA: Okay.

MATT: 'Cause I like ones.

MICA: Okay. 17.

MATT: 17.

MICA: Does that hit that a door?

MATT: It hits.

MICA: Okay.

MATT: Go ahead and roll damage.

MICA: I shall. Four plus two, six.

MATT: Okay, you blast it once. Glancing at it, this is a very heavy door and while the magic missile, the arcane blast from it is generally pretty powerful against softer, fleshier things, it's not really getting any purchase against this door's lock, unfortunately.

MICA: Yeah, it's door's fault.

LIAM: Find another way around.

LAURA: Maybe there's a key down the other hallway.

MARISHA: To the left.

LAURA: Look for keys all the while.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: Key, keys, keys.

LIAM: Place my hand on the door before we go. We'll play later. (laughter)

MARISHA: Fucking doors.

CARLOS: Spellslots goes like-- (laughter)

LAURA: Aw, Spell Slot. Glad you're with us, buddy.

MARISHA: Spellslots is the best.

LIAM: He's my favorite character in this.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Continuing onward in the other path, this is a relatively lengthy hallway that continues on for a bit. There are pots here, but they're already broken.

LAURA: Oh!

MATT: What? You do eventually, quietly come upon a left hand turn and in the next hall, you can just faintly hear movement, scrambling, footfalls, and shifting scrapes against the stone.

LIAM: Is there anything on the ceiling?

MATT: Make a perception check.

LIAM: Okay.

MARISHA: Someone knows the secrets of the pots.

LIAM: It's a very competent four.

MICA: Oh jeez.

MATT: Glancing up at the ceiling above, it only hits about a 10-foot ceiling at this portion of the tunnel and with the torch that you do carry, you're pretty sure there's nothing on the ceiling, but who knows?

LIAM: We're absolutely safe.

MARISHA: I'm going to scurry ahead.

LAURA: Yeah, peek around.

MARISHA: Yeah, can we see what's making that scurrying noise ahead?

LAURA: Can we like (squeaks)?

CARLOS: Scooby Doo?

MATT: One by one, the heads appear in a totem. You can see in this next chamber, a cluster of pots and small cases all open or broken in various states, and there is a dressed humanoid you see from the back that is currently rummaging through one of these right now. You can see some coins spill out of his grasp and quickly reaches down and snatches them and puts them within a pocket and is just talking to itself (mumbles).

MARISHA: Is this sort of a treasure goblin?

LAURA: Is it a treasure goblin?

MATT: It's hard to see from the side.

MARISHA: "Kill him!" I just yell. I bust out-- pew pew pew pew!

MATT: Roll attack. (laughing) Roll attack.

LAURA: Don't let him get away!

MARISHA: Don't let him get away!

LAURA: I block the door. I block the hallway, so it can't run.

MATT: So roll to attack twice.

MARISHA: Actually, do I-- would I get Hatred for this?

MATT: It is the first round of combat.

MARISHA: Actually, no, I wouldn't have enough Hatred. So no, Hungering Arrow, Hungering Arrow. Okay, those are both-- That's a natural 20 and an 18.

MATT: A natural 20?

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: That's a critical hit, yeah. Roll damage on both, doubling the dice damage on the first one.

MARISHA: Okay, okay, what do I roll? New class. Okay, first one, that's a four. So eight doubled plus five. So 13, wait, no.

MATT: Yes.

LIAM: Eight double plus five.

MARISHA: No, four doubled.

MATT: Got you, so four doubled to eight. So eight plus five, yeah, that brings it to 13.

MARISHA: 13 damage on the crit and then for the other one, I rolled a one on damage, so six total.

MATT: Got you. Okay, so 19 damage total. So as you (crackles) fire both of these, the individual turns around and you see for a brief second, just a dude, in just normal clothes. (laughter) With a small package, who just goes, "What?" (crossbow fires) (screams)

MARISHA: Treasure goblin.

MATT: Just spits blood out of his mouth and there's these two crossbow bolts in his chest. He's like-- (coughs, screams)

MARISHA: Was I not-- Was I not supposed to--?

MATT: He falls onto the ground and he's bleeding out.

LAURA: I run over... Run over to him. Do you have a key to the lock on the other side? (laughter)

MATT: Who are you? (choking) Spitting blood up.

MICA: Wait, just let him die. And then Laslo--

LIAM: I consecrate the ground under this man.

MATT: Really? Okay. Okay.

LIAM: Yes.

LIAM: He starts to heal, so does anybody else standing around him.

LAURA: Ooh. Thanks.

MARISHA: Ooh, we're getting healed? Okay.

LIAM: Four rounds of 1d6 plus two.

MARISHA: What were you saying, Indra?

MICA: I was going to say, if you just let him die, Laslo could have just talked to him. It would have been much easier.

MATT: He begins to heal up a little bit his wounds.

LAURA: I'll take the arrows out.

MATT: (groans) He sits up, he's like, "No, no, what do you want? (panting) I can't stop, I can't stop. I have to get to him." And he goes over and grabs the bag and ignoring you entirely, he goes back to the boxes and starts just taking whatever he can find and throwing it into the sack.

MARISHA: Get what for whom?

MATT: "For the child, for the child. It needs all the treasure, valuables."

LAURA: Don't even think about it.

MATT: His eyes glance past all of you as his wounds heal him back to full.

LIAM: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

LAURA: I just transform my arm into a crocodile arm. (laughter) I'm a werecrocodile! That means my arms are bigger.

MATT: I know, I know, I know.

LAURA: I'm not just like a crocodile.

MATT: Fair enough.

CARLOS: Is anyone else picturing the crocodile with fur, though?

MICA: Me, too, yeah.

MARISHA: It's got a mane.

MATT: Sanctuary ecology is a little different than earth ecology. Crocodiles here be furry. Okay.

LAURA: It's however you want to picture.

MATT: Wild look in his eyes, he's surrounded by five well armored dungeon delvers at this point. He is wearing normal clothing and currently holding on one hand, this half open bag and the other pulls out a dagger and goes, (growls) "Give me your belongings. Give me your valuables."

MARISHA: I pull up my crossbows and point them at him.

CARLOS: Onyx is very happy at all of this. Kill him again. Do it again.

MICA: See, Onyx knows what's up.

MARISHA: Honestly, you are about five seconds from that being your reality if you don't stop and tell us what you're doing.

MATT: "He'll kill me if I don't bring enough back for him."

LAURA: Who's the child?

MATT: "The child below." (pants heavily)

LAURA: Through the door with the lock?

MATT: "Beyond there, yeah. Aye."

LAURA: So you have a key?

MATT: "Maybe."

LAURA: Tell you what.

MATT: "Do you want it?"

LAURA: We'll bring all your treasure to the child for you.

MATT: "No, no! I-I have to do it. I have to."

MARISHA: All right, well, how about in exchange you can come with us.

MATT: "Okay. Okay. And when we get to him, you'll give me your belongings?"

MARISHA: Sure. What's your name?

MATT: "Johnny."

MARISHA: Johnny?

MATT: "Johnny, yeah."

MARISHA: Nice to meet you, Johnny.

MATT: "Yeah, give them to me."

MARISHA: Not now.

MATT: "Okay, but then."

MARISHA: Sure.

MATT: "Okay." He lifts the bag over one shoulder like this half-crazed Santa gnome figure, blade still out in front. "So go on, I'm following!"

LAURA: I really did think he was a treasure goblin.

MARISHA: I did, too. It was about to confirm all of my theories for this other dimensional realm just filled with gold and treasure. I was this close. I know it's real.

LIAM: I'm regretting my choice to bring this man back from the brink.

MATT: Looks over at you you with this mostly gum filled, occasional tooth grin. And he reaches in his pocket and pulls out this long rusted key and goes, "Here." Pulls the dagger out, "Lead on."

LIAM: You know what, have a seat. If you want me to be able to help you all, I need to meditate for a while.

LAURA: How long?

LIAM: 30 to 60 minutes.

LAURA: Shit, really? We just got started.

MARISHA: Oh what? I know!

LIAM: We'll just do a montage, it's fine.

CARLOS: What's a montage? (laughter)

MICA: Well, it's a great hotel. (laughter)

MATT: "It's when a bunch of activities are partaken in very long bit of time and shortened down into a much more easier to grasp scenario for the audience."

CARLOS: I love how he's saying that with arrows in him, too.

LAURA: I love it.

LIAM: Tauro does pushups.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Are you taking a rest here?

LIAM: If the game and the group will allow.

MATT: That's up to you, guys. I'll just mark it here.

MARISHA: Marking it.

LAURA: Things are happening below.

LIAM: It's up to you. It's skin off your backs, not mine.

MARISHA: All right, I guess fine.

CARLOS: Yeah, I think it's a good idea. We could ask our little friend a little bit more about-- I'm sorry, Johnny.

MATT: "Yeah, yeah. We're not going?"

LIAM: Hmm?

MATT: "We're not moving."

MARISHA: 30 minutes.

LAURA: Well, you were hurt and he had to heal you, so now he needs to rest.

MICA: It could have been avoided if we just let him die, like I said, but whatever.

MATT: He starts rummaging through his bag. He's ignoring your questions for a moment. He's just checking, counting things. "What is it? Okay."

MARISHA: Spellslots, do you know any good musical routines?

CARLOS: Laslo is not excited about Spellslots. (laughter) He has become a stepdad overnight. (laughter)

MARISHA: He's getting all the attention. (laughter)

CARLOS: Laslo's not very happy about Spellslots. But what did you ask? I'm sorry.

MARISHA: If he knows any good musical numbers.

CARLOS: Hey, buddy. (laughter) Can you, like, play those things? Like a xylophone or something? Do you know any, like, Kanye or do you know... What can you do? What is, like, his--

MATT: Sir Kanye of the Zakarum was a very well-known traveling bard crusader.

CARLOS: Obviously. (laughter)

CARLOS: Just deep tracks? God, Spellslots! Give me some hits. (laughter)

MATT: This skeleton mainly sits in, like, a dark wave house vicinity. So it's not quite hitting the right vibe for you, unfortunately, but it's the one skeleton you've got at the moment, so. We'll say you finish your 30-minute period of time of rest, which, when it comes to an end, as you all stand at the ready, you can see that Johnny is looking very impatient at this point and pacing, going "C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon," to himself. His eyes looking at nothing in particular. And you hear this distant shriek down the distance of the hallway. This like, (echoing shrieking)

LAURA: Oh, come on.

LIAM: Oh, cool.

CARLOS: That was really cool.

LAURA: Creepy.

MATT: So what do you do?

MARISHA: All right, are you feeling better?

LIAM: Come on, auto-tune skeleton. (laughter) Let's go.

CARLOS: It's not even early Kanye, it's later. (laughter)

MATT: All right, you head back towards the large iron door. Indeed, the key does open it. And as the door (creaking) opens to the side, you can see, within the next portion of the chamber, the hallway curves to the right slightly. And following with the light, eventually, you see that opens into wide archways and this faint glow of candlelight that greets you on the opposite side. You can see a beautiful display of large statues depicting angelic figures, a central one in heavy armor and hood that's looming over a wide staircase, the hood itself empty, sword in front. You can see the staircase descends below, but standing before this armored figure you see a humanoid shape wearing its own haphazard armor a humanoid shape wearing its own haphazard armor turned away from you, and as it spins (bones cracking) you see this skeletal entity wearing old, rusted, dusty, Horadric armor. wearing old, rusted, dusty, Horadric armor. As it looks back towards you all, as you spin around the edge. It kind of (bones cracking) And as it raises its hands, you hear the sound of scratches as the walls, you now notice, are filled, ceiling to floor, with stone tombs that begin to spill. (tombs crashing) The lid, spilling open, as skeletons, scramble out in your direction and begin to swarm towards you as the one armored skeleton begins to curl its hands in the air and you see arcane runes beginning to swirl on the floor in front of it. I need all of you roll initiative.

MARISHA: Oh boy!

LIAM: Whatever, we got a skeleton, too. It's fine.

MATT: It's true.

CARLOS: ♪ Now keep your love locked down. ♪ (laughter)

MATT: All righty, so 25 to 20.

MARISHA: Wow, that's terrible.

MICA: Oh, it couldn't be as bad as mine.

MARISHA: I rolled a natural one.

MICA: Oh, it is worse than mine.

MATT: 20 to 15?

LAURA: 17.

CARLOS: 17.

MATT: Nice! All right, we got Remy and Laslo up at the top. 15 to 10?

LIAM: 11.

MATT: All right. 10 to five.

MICA: Got a hot six.

MARISHA: Also a six.

MATT: Tauro and Indra. All right. Top of the round, Remy and Laslo are up. You can see now, between, there's this one central armored skeleton that stands taller than the rest that is currently in the process of some sort of dark purple incantation. You see the energy swirling off of it and the rune in the ground in front of it beginning to brighten. You can see now four other skeletons that have crawled out of the tombs, drawing rusted weapons and beginning to scatter their way towards you. And in the back of the room, two of the skeletons that fell bringing a total of six, have bows and arrows and begin to reach back, pulling them taught. So.

LIAM: Here we go, 8d8s and heartbreak. (laughter)

MATT: What are you two doing?

LAURA: I'm going to whip my arm up and my snake's going to shoot forward from my arm and a spiritual blade is going to shoot forward towards the armored creature. And I'm going to cast Wind Shear.

MATT: You've got it, okay. Go ahead and roll an attack for that. At which one, the one in the armor?

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: 17 to hit.

MATT: That indeed hits.

LAURA: Yes! So that's 3d8.

MARISHA: And Matt, you said there was one big baddy and two--

MATT: Two archers and then four melee skeletons.

MARISHA: Okay, and one big baddy?

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: That's okay.

LAURA: So 11 damage. (blows raspberry)

MATT: 11 points of damage, not bad.

LAURA: Ooh, but my movement is increased by 10 feet until the end of my next turn.

MATT: Indeed, so you have some faster movement and don't forget, you generate eight Spirit from that.

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: All righty, so as the blast of razor sharp wind arcs out from your hand, you see it strikes the creature and actually shears off part of its shoulder armor. (wind shearing) It cracks in the bone. You can see it sustained damage from the impact, but it still stands there continuing to cast, its arms still undulating in space.

LAURA: How far away is it from me now?

MATT: You guys are right at the entrance, so that's about 15 feet from you and the melee skeletons are quickly rushing in, at the same plane. The archers are about 30 feet from you in the distance.

LAURA: I'm going to run forward since I've got extra movement speed now, and I'm going to run forward. I'm going to run towards the armored guy, just straight into the middle.

MATT: Easily enough.

LAURA: I'm going to, for a bonus action, cast Swarm at him.

MATT: You've got it. All right, as you rush forward towards the front in your awesome druid, swamp druid form, dart towards him, as you do, you bring your arm up and out of the inside of your outfit these insects begin to crawl out and then just whip around this creature. What did you roll to attack?

LAURA: 15 plus seven.

MATT: 15 plus seven definitely hits. Go ahead and roll damage for that.

LAURA: Six points of additional damage.

MATT: You got it. It's swirling around inside, since this is not a fleshy creature. You can hear them, like, buzzing and hitting the inside of the rib cage in the armor from the interior. You see it's sustaining damage, but not as much as you would hope given the circumstances, but nevertheless, you are now there right up in front of it. You can see within its deep sunken, dark sockets, these faint points of glowing purple energy matching the same arcane force that it's currently calling to it. That finishes your turn. So you are right in the center now and all eyes are currently on you. Laslo, what are you doing?

CARLOS: Yeah, as Remy starts to run forward, Laslo gets down on one knee and starts punching the cement and I'm going to cast Death Nova.

MATT: Ooh!

CARLOS: So all this smoke is coming up above him, but below him, I guess.

MATT: You've got it.

CARLOS: So it's a DC 15 constitution save.

MATT: It is. It's also all creatures, just so you know. That does include your friends, too. So you're going to want to try and maneuver.

CARLOS: Yeah, so, if he's 15 feet, is she right at 15 feet? Or is she at like 10 feet?

MATT: She's at 15 feet ahead of you. You'd have to probably go far to one side or the other to try and avoid her.

CARLOS: Yeah, let's do that.

MATT: Okay. (laughter) Right or left corner?

CARLOS: Left, we've been avoiding left this entire game, so.

MATT: You got it, to the left. You Zoolander it over to the left-hand corner, punch the ground, and this green energy swirls up and with the impact, darts outward as all this toxic, poisonous, magical energy radiates outward. It swarms into and hits the two skeletons and the central skeleton to minimal effect. Go ahead and roll damage.

CARLOS: 12.

MATT: 12 damage, all right. You've got it. It hits them. When you watch as they withdraw from this. They do all fail their saves, but even so, poison doesn't seem to have the same impact on skeletal entities. And you realize that moment like, "Ah, dang it!" Did some damage, but not as much as you'd hoped. And Spellslots can take his turn as well, if you'd like.

CARLOS: Oh yeah!

MICA: Go Spellslots!

CARLOS: Getting ready for it. Yeah, he's going to make a melee attack at the closest one.

MATT: You got it, all right.

CARLOS: 11.

MATT: 11 does not hit.

CARLOS: Aw, Spellslots.

MATT: He goes (yells) and arcs wide and just hits off the bones. Now it's just skeleton and skeleton slap fight.

CARLOS: He's a college dropout. (laughter)

MATT: Hey, same in the room for a lot of us. All right, that finishes your turn, Laslo?

CARLOS: Yes.

MATT: All right. Mordred you're up.

LIAM: Yes, I'm going to charge in and run up along side of Remuil. And as I do so, I'm going to recite the Laws of Justice so that I and my companions are resistant to cold, fire, and lightning damage for a bit. Takes away four points of Wrath. And I will punish the big baddie with two swings of my morning star.

MATT: You've got it. As a note for you as well, which I just recalled, after you strike the creature, the insects swarm around it, this pulse of energy comes off of it. And you watch as these arcane needles shoot out in your direction. And you did, on that one, you took five points of fire damage as they blast on you. It seemed to almost reflect some of the damage back at you. What do you do on your turn?

LIAM: So bonus action for Laws of Justice, which gives resistance. I don't know if it was in time.

MATT: Not for her, but it will for the next one.

LIAM: Cold, fire, and lightning 'til the start of my next turn.

MATT: You got it.

LIAM: And then I used Punish, so I got two attack actions, essentially. And I rolled, I got 22 on both.

MATT: Both of those hit, yeah.

LIAM: So that is 1d8. Five plus seven. Six is 13.

MATT: This is against the armored one?

LIAM: Hmm?

MATT: The armored one or?

LIAM: Against the main--

MATT: You got it.

LIAM: So that buffs up my own AC a bit and charges my Wrath again. And that's the end of my turn.

MATT: Okay, that was 13 damage from both of those together?

LIAM: All told, yeah. 13 total.

MATT: You got it. All righty. So as you go ahead and strike with both of those, your flail hitting at the side and then once again, over the top of the shield, each impact blasts in and you can see it reel from the impact and that same arcane energy seems to fire that damage back out at you as these two spears of burning white-hot magic. That is a 13, I believe misses you.

LIAM: No.

MATT: But a 24 does hit you.

LIAM: That hits.

MATT: You take, it would be seven points of fire damage, but because of your resistance, it reduces it to three.

MARISHA: Nice, good call.

MATT: All right, finishing up Mordred's turn, it is now Kresh The Unforgiven's turn.

MARISHA: Kresh?

LAURA: The Unforgiven?

MATT: The armored skeleton you can see now, finishes its casting and as does, in the center of the floor, (whooshes) a new skeleton appears. You get the sense this one can just bring more skeletons.

CARLOS: That's a sense we get, guys.

MATT: You get a sense of that. It's a weird thing. Weird thing about that one. Let's see if that recharges on its turn. Yeah, it recharges, okay. It is going to then do a burning dart as it's standing right there. And it's going to go ahead into fling the dart at you since you're the one who first came at it and you're the one-- No, it actually is going to go for you since you're the one who did the most damage to it. Natural 19,. That puts it at a 22-- 23 to hit.

LIAM: Yes.

MATT: All righty. So you take 10 fire damage reduced to five, as it blasts into your face, the shield catches part of it and the rest of your lawful defense manages to shrug it off.

LIAM: Ah, it feels good.

MATT: Finishing its turn, that brings us to Tauro and Indra.

MICA: Question.

MARISHA: Do you want to go first or--

MICA: What is the new skeleton holding? Is it a melee or is it an archer?

MATT: That is a melee.

MICA: Okay.

MATT: Giant executioner's axe, actually.

LAURA: (unhappy noise)

MICA: Why did I ask?

MARISHA: Charming.

LAURA: Cool, cool, cool.

MICA: You can go first.

MARISHA: Okay, I'm just going to slowly walk up, drawing my crossbows. I'm going to say: If it bleeds, you can kill it. And I'm going to cast Marked for Death.

LAURA: (laughs)

LIAM: But they don't bleed.

LAURA: They don't bleed, though!

MARISHA: Well, the big-- He bleeds a little, right?

CARLOS: It bleeds a little, guys. (laughter)

MATT: You all go, "Yeah!" (laughter)

MARISHA: And I'm going to do Hungering Arrow, pew pew. (laughter)

CARLOS: The whole group is like, "Yes, and! Yes, and!" (laughter)

MICA: Don't stop her improv!

LIAM: You know that I don't want to yuck your yum. Go for it. (laughter)

MARISHA: It's not my fault this is the lines that they're set for this ability, all right.

MATT: All right, so what are the attack rolls? And you're attacking which ones here?

MARISHA: I'm going to attack just two hits to the big baddy.

MATT: You got it.

MARISHA: Okay. So that first one is a 17. And the second attack is a 23.

MATT: Both hit, go ahead and roll damage.

MARISHA: And these are extra d6s, because he is marked. So for the first one-- Okay, that's-- 11 damage total.

MATT: 11 damage. You got it.

MARISHA: For the second one--

MATT: Go ahead.

MARISHA: -- is 13 damage total.

MATT: Nice! So as you come around and you fire twice out of the arrows, hit the arm and you can see another chunk of armor falls off of it. The bones are now splintering from the impact of the damage it's taken. It's looking like it's having a hard time holding itself together. And all the other skeletons around it are eager to rush in and try and offer protection. You also notice, not bleeding.

MARISHA: Hmm.

LIAM: Not yet.

MATT: Yet, exactly.

MARISHA: Go back to the writers. (laughter)

LIAM: Systemic dialogue and you have to roll with it. (laughter)

MATT: All right. Finishing your go. Indra.

MICA: Question.

MATT: Yes.

MICA: Big baddy is here. My friends are in front of him, directly in front of him. However, the archers are behind him.

MATT: Correct.

MICA: How close would you say these archers are?

MATT: They'd be about 15 feet from it.

MICA: Wonderful! As in a 15 feet diameter could catch both this big baddy and these archers?

MATT: Yes.

MICA: Cool! Then I am going to flick my hair behind my-- while I get it caught on my lip gloss like a really cool person, and I'm going to cast a Meteor right in the middle.

MATT: Oh, okay! Okay.

MICA: On all of them. Hoping to end this quickly. And she's just going to scoff as she summons a giant meteor from above.

MATT: Yeah! So as you watch as Indra pulls the staff forward, scoffs frustratedly and spins her staff in the air, you're all engaged in these skeletons that you hear this (tearing) this horrible tearing sound and you all can't help but glance up as into the air above the staircase and where this battle is taken. You see a sliver of reality is suddenly carved and open. You see a dark expanse of stars and purple-ish blue mist. And from that, a bright light as a flaming rock (heavy impact) apparates out of it and slams into the top of the staircase and explodes! You can see flame just spirals around and almost engulfs both of you at the front of this battle, but just manages to just singe your eyebrows. You don't have any eyebrows, so you don't have to worry about that. But it does catch you a little off-guard.

LIAM: Not a single hair on my body.

MATT: Go ahead and roll damage on that.

MICA: I had to bring out extra d6s for this one. Good lord. Ooh! 12. Who's good at math here?

LAURA: (laughs)

MARISHA: Hmm, no.

LIAM: Spellslots.

LAURA: Just say it, just say it.

MICA: Okay, 12 plus eight, plus five, plus five, plus seven.

MATT: 37 points of fire damage.

MICA: 37 points of fire damage!

MATT: And your spell DC on that one is?

MICA: 16 dex.

MATT: Got it. Failure on Kresh the Unforgiven. Failure on the archer.

MICA: Love hearing it.

MATT: Failure on the other archer.

MICA: Love hearing it.

MATT: As the flames and explosion die down for a second, the next sound you hear is the clattering of scattered bones raining down from the opposite side of the chamber. As the two archer skeletons are blown apart and thrown across the opposite side, the central skeleton, the armor, you now see, as it looks out, the purple light in its eyes blinks out. And the bones scatter on the inside, hitting the ground, destroyed.

MICA: Indra just brushes off some dust on her shoulder. She's like: Pathetic.

LAURA: The big guy? The big guy?

MATT: Yeah, he just fell to the ground, but there are still four other skeletons, five technically, one with a giant axe. And it's now their turn.

LIAM: Where's our dude? Where's the dude we came in here with? Is he hanging back?

MATT: He's not in the middle of this battle! He's just back in the hallway.

LIAM: He's back there?

MATT: Yeah, with his dagger like: (screams) (laughter) "I'm Johnny! Ah! What do you want from me?!"

MARISHA: That's his one-liner: I'm Johnny!

MATT: "I'm Johnny!"

CARLOS: He's in his own movie right now.

MATT: Exactly. Well, it's proper NPC: Once you cycle the dialogue, he just has the one thing he says to you, "I'm Johnny!" "I'm Johnny!" (laughter) Two skeletons rushing up towards you, Remy. Going to strike. Oh, that's a natural 20. That's eight points of physical damage. And the other one is going to be a, I'm rolling pretty well, a 20 to hit, four points of physical damage. So a total of 12 against you.

LAURA: Cool.

MATT: Other two are rushing up against you since you're right in the front. That's a 10, which misses, and another natural 20. You take eight points of physical damage from that secondary strike.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: They're just swarming at you hacking away and the one with the executioner's axe, let's roll to see which one of you he goes after. You. (laughter)

LAURA: I was in there going--

MARISHA: Just looking over at him suggestively. (laughter)

MATT: So here's the thing.

LIAM: If it bleeds, we can kill it.

MATT: They're aware. As the two skeletons are rushing out and you're fighting them off, you can't help but, in the background, see the one skeleton glance up at you, its head cocked to one side as it slowly lifts this massive axe that weighs immense, immense amounts.

LIAM: What's up, buddy?

MATT: Large swing right into the ground about a foot from you. Not a great aim on this skeleton. Probably not used to using an axe and just completely whiffs entirely. It looks at you. (bones cracking)

LIAM: I-- This is awkward. I feel bad for you.

MATT: (cracking) And is now wedging it out of the ground while he brings us back to Remy and Laslo's go.

LAURA: So wait, are they in a line?

MATT: They are pretty close to a line. Yeah. I'd say three of them are in a line.

LAURA: Doesn't matter, can't do it anyway. Hold on. But they're close to each other.

MATT: Yes.

LAURA: They're within five feet of each other.

MATT: Three of them are. Yes.

LAURA: Yeah, screw it. I'm going to-- I'm going to look up and I'm going to find a big piece of a rock from some of the pile of meteorite that fell down.

MATT: (laughs) You got it.

LAURA: I'm going to lift it up and cast Landslide on three of the creatures in front of me.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: And hopefully including the one with the giant executioner's axe.

MATT: Okay, roll an attack for all three of them. Executioner's axe and the two next to him.

LAURA: Mmkay.

LIAM: Get it, Stevie Nicks.

MARISHA: Aww, you beat me to it. ♪ And if I see my reflection ♪

LAURA: First one is-- Oh!

CARLOS: Who was singing that?

LAURA: Oh, no, dang.

LIAM: Spellslots.

LAURA: The first one is 17.

MATT: That hits.

LAURA: Do I add anything? Oh yes, I do. The first one is 24.

MATT: 24, that definitely hits.

LAURA: The second one is 13.

MATT: 13 just hits.

LAURA: Sweet! And the last one definitely hits; it's a 23.

MATT: Yeah, all right, so go ahead and roll damage for-- just roll damage for each of them, yeah.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: This is individual.

LAURA: 3d10.

MATT: Executioner first.

LAURA: Three plus nine is 12 plus six is 18.

MATT: 18. Other two?

LAURA: Nine, 15, 17.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Five plus six is 11 on the last one.

MATT: Got it. Okay. So as you pull up a chunk of the meteor that was summoned through space by Indra, you it lift up into the ceiling with the crack and impact, it brings elements of dirt and earth and rock from above. And as it slams down into the central space, broken apart from the multiple impacts, it causes this shower of sharp shards of rock, stone, and whatever piece of the nearby structure was carved free from it. And as it does, you watch as the executioner skeleton, axe high in the air for a secondary strike, is smashed beneath it and flattened into a bunch of broke pieces of bone. The two other the skeletons to its side look up and are simultaneously smashed as well. You're down to two skeletons. That brings us to you, Laslo.

CARLOS: Cool. Are they in a row at all? (laughter)

MATT: They're in a row, but they're distant from each other.

CARLOS: Okay.

MATT: They're on opposite ends about like, I'd say 30 feet from each other.

CARLOS: Okay, I'm just going to run up to one, place my hands on its head, and siphon its-- Well, can I siphon its blood? Does it have blood?

MATT: Siphon life.

CARLOS: Life, yes.

MATT: It's a little more of its essence.

CARLOS: Exactly.

MATT: 'Cause video game.

CARLOS: 19.

MATT: 19 does hit. Go ahead and roll damage. Mordred, you're on deck.

CARLOS: 10.

MATT: 10 damage. That does it. As you reach out and extend your hand towards it, you watch as its skeletons shake and what faint bit of magic that still remains holding it animated is pulled away and as it does, the skeleton seems to implode your direction, sending bones scattering to the ground by your feet. And you heal up 1d4.

CARLOS: Awesome. Four.

MATT: There you go.

CARLOS: And while I'm doing this, Spellslots is running to the other side--

MATT: To hit the other dude?

CARLOS: To hit the other dude.

MATT: You got it.

CARLOS: It's so sad because I'm picturing him a lot smaller than the other guy. (laughter)

MATT: (footsteps)

CARLOS: Let's see what he does.

MICA: He's trying so hard.

CARLOS: He's trying so hard, guys.

MARISHA: The way you keep describing him, I imagine him in, like, Yeezy's. (laughter)

MICA: Yeezy's and joggers.

MARISHA: Yeah! (laughter)

CARLOS: 14.

MATT: 14 does hit.

CARLOS: Okay, cool.

MATT: Go ahead and roll damage. Last standing skeleton.

CARLOS: Ugh, three. He rolled a one.

MATT: Oh, big old, heavy fist fall. And the other skeleton takes the hit, but it's still standing. It's looking damaged, but it's still standing. That finishes your go, or what else you got?

CARLOS: And I'm going to cast Devour again if there's a bunch-- Well, they're not corpses, sorry, they're skeletons. Do they count as corpses?

MATT: They technically would not count as corpses.

CARLOS: Okay. Then that's it.

MATT: Sorry. All righty.

MICA: Philosophical question: are skeletons corpses?

MARISHA: Yeah.

LIAM: So two are up right now, yeah?

MATT: One is up.

LIAM: Just one?

MATT: Yes.

LIAM: Oh, I just hoist up my morning star and say: I hate to do it. No, I don't. (whooshing)

MATT: Is this Pulverize?

LIAM: This is-- nope, just Punishment again. Ooh. Very low roll for the first, that's a 10.

MATT: 10 misses.

LIAM: And a very low roll for the second. So I hated to do it, so I don't do it. 12 for the--

MATT: 12 does hit.

LIAM: Does hit?

MATT: Yeah. Skeletons don't have huge AC, necessarily.

LIAM: Oh, but it's a one on the damage. So four points of physical damage.

MATT: Four points of physical damage. Still standing. It's like (bones cracking). You do about as much damage as Spellslots did. (laughter) The skeleton looks back at you--

LIAM: Trying to blow it over the rest of the way.

MATT: It's mad dogging you from its eyeless sockets. Kresh is gone, so now it's Tauro and Indra.

MARISHA: Oh.

MICA: Oh.

MARISHA: All right. I'll just look at Indra and be like: Mind if I do the honors?

MICA: Go for it.

MARISHA: And just pull out a dagger and just, (quick whoosh) and I'm going to do my impale.

MATT: Go for it.

MARISHA: Come on, 17 or 20! I got a 19-- or an 18! That's a crit!

MATT: That's a crit.

MARISHA: Ah! You can't see! We're far from each other.

MATT: Your expression says it all.

MARISHA: So it gets a critical hit on 17 or a 20?

MATT: Yep.

MARISHA: Or 17 through 20. And it's 2d12 damage. Wait, let me get another d12. I never get to do this!

LAURA: A skeleton with one hit point left is--

MATT: Oh, just wait for it. (laughter)

LIAM: Socially distant D&D.

MARISHA: Here we go. Here we go. I never get to roll d12s; this is awesome! Okay, so that's nine damage. So 18 plus five.

MATT: 23 points.

MARISHA: So 23 points of damage.

MATT: This skeleton has taken blow after blow and it's standing resolute against you and your companions around you. As it turns towards you, the dagger comes towards it. As time slows, it sits there and contemplates in that final moment. (laughter)

CARLOS: Gary Jules playing "Mad World."

MATT: Mad World!

CARLOS: Right now!

MATT: It considers nothing, since it's a skeleton. It has no mind. Whereas the other skeletons exploded into chunks of bone. The dagger just impacts, and as it hits the ground, it turns to dust. The sheer force of it causing whatever possible undead willpower held it together to just atomize.

MARISHA: You just hear my dagger go, (tinging).

LAURA: I think that's all of them.

MARISHA: That wasn't too bad.

MICA: Technical question.

MATT: Yes.

MICA: Since it was both of our turns at the same time, do I still get that six arcane power?

MATT: You get it back regardless, outside of combat. You're the few that generates-- You're usually at full arcane power at the beginning of the fight. The problem is a lot of your things cost a lot.

MICA: But so, what we're saying is, by the next fight I'll have full arcane power?

MATT: You will.

MICA: Oh, I didn't know that!

LIAM: Lucky.

MATT: There you go. The fun thing about wizards, they don't have to build up their resources, you start full. But you got to be careful what you use.

MICA: Yeah, it's the meteors and shit. You know, whatever.

MATT: Indeed.

CARLOS: Meteors.

MATT: All righty. So checking the body of Kresh, amongst the armor, you do find a couple of items because it's Diablo and that's one of the cool parts about it. You find a magical ring of silver and gold inlay and a, beneath its helmet, you can see this burial shawl or hood that it was keeping it there that seems to shimmer in the torchlight. The shawl is considered the Shawl of the Forsaken, and it gives whoever wears it a plus one to hit on any of their abilities that roll to hit. The ring is the Ring of the Zakarum, which gives a plus one to your armor class and saves while it's worn.

LAURA: Ooh.

MICA: As the one who casted the meteor that took out this asshole here, can I lay claim to the ring?

LAURA: Sure.

MICA: Thank you.

MATT: All right. So AC and saves go up by one. Who would like the Shawl of the Forsaken?

LIAM: I'm good with faith. (laughter)

MARISHA: Anyone feel like they need a little boost to their attacks?

CARLOS: We're good as well. Onyx is so polite. (laughter)

LIAM: What about you, Spellslots?

LAURA: Yeah!

MARISHA: Goes to Remy.

MATT: You got it. Plus one to hit on all of your abilities.

LAURA: Sweet.

MATT: Descending the stairway beyond this encounter with Kresh, the air grows slightly warmer and carries a hint of putrescence upon it. While the architecture remains continuation of the crypt above, these walls have seen more wear and tear. Odd, black iron chains dangle in places, some of them finishing in large metal hooks. The reoccurring cherub reliefs and holy iconography you see are often scratched out or gouged entirely from the wall around you. When the steps come to an end, you can see this is a much larger chamber, maybe a hundred or so feet across, but there are four smaller mausoleum-like doored chambers within. What would you like to do?

MARISHA: Four. And they're closed, the doors are all closed?

MATT: Seems to be, yeah.

LAURA: Do we hear any noise? Does Johnny have any inclination of where this child is?

MATT: Johnny goes, "Oh yeah, no, it's across the way. His door's on the other side. That's where it's supposed to be."

LAURA: What's behind the other doors?

MATT: "The room where the child is. Come on!" And you see him start walking ahead.

MARISHA: Just let him go first, like, 15, 20 feet, let's see what happens.

MICA: Also, he didn't answer our question at all.

MARISHA: No, no, he didn't.

MICA: Hmm.

MARISHA: So we're going to let him go and see what happens.

MATT: Okay. He walks along and picks up a gold piece and puts it in the-- (laughter) Takes a few more steps. "Ooh, ah, that's nice." Picks up a little candle holder, puts it in the bag.

MARISHA: Stop it.

LAURA: Stop it. I run ahead of him and kick any pots that are-- (laughter)

MATT: You're like (crashing) Breaking every one. He's like, "No, no, wait!" These pots are mostly empty. He does rush off into one chamber that has an open door and he goes, "Ooh, ooh!" and darts in there. He's like, easily distracted by his particular interest in finding worthwhile things in the vicinity. He rushes into the-- There are the four chambers. You passed the first two and the one on the right, actually, has an open door. And the one on the left is partially ajar. He rushes to the one on the left and begins to push his way in. And you see him disappear inside that chamber.

MICA: Are there any screams coming from that chamber?

MATT: You don't hear any.

MICA and MARISHA: Hmm.

LAURA: What about the one to the right?

MATT: One to the right? You don't hear anything from that one. You want to make a perception check?

LAURA: Sure. (grunting) 20.

MATT: As you glance through and look into this open doorway, this next room, it's far more grotesque than you were expecting. You can see all across the floor there are dozens and dozens of long rotted corpses. Mostly skeletal, bits of putrid flesh still hanging on the bone. There are many chains hanging from this room and bodies on hooks that have, since all the meat has, you know, sloughed off. And this is from-- It's been here for quite some time. It's been left still and filled with rot. Glancing inside, in the middle of it, you see this squat, tubby-looking, red and black-skinned demonic creature that is sitting with tiny scrawny legs and scrawny arms and this very, very wide midsection. Its horns are curled inward and it's just sitting there chewing on a bone like. (chewing)

LAURA: Does it see me?

MATT: It does not see you. Well, make a stealth check, actually, for me, if you don't mind.

LAURA: Oh god. Mm-hmm. 12.

MATT: It looks up at you, (startles) and darts off into the shadow nearby.

LAURA: Friend or foe?

MATT: There's a brief pause and a voice rings out from the shadow that says, "You step into the realm of Demashal, The Great Eater of Storms, Lord of Annihilation, and demon master of this dominion. Leave now or become devoured by his amazing, terrible form!"

LIAM: Does he sound full of shit?

MATT: Make an insight check. (laughter)

LIAM: Not great. 14.

MATT: It's not easy to notice. Yeah, he's full of shit.

LIAM: Do we waste our time here?

LAURA: I mean, are we supposed to eradicate all of the evil?

LIAM: I am. (stomping footsteps) (laughter) I'm going to go and try to drag him out of whatever cubby hole he's in.

MATT: Make perception check as you enter this chamber filled with bones.

LIAM: Not good. Four.

MATT: You look in the room. You have no idea where this thing is. You heard the voice boom from it, but you pushed through the chains and stuff and the voice says, "I said run away before it's too late! Please!"

CARLOS: "Please."

LAURA: How long have you been here?

MATT: "Since time eternal! About a year." (laughter)

LIAM: We're hearing about a child here. Do you know anything about that?

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

LIAM: That's much better. 21.

MATT: Stepping out from this cluster of bones that have melted together as the fats of the bodies have solidified around and he pokes out of you. This sad-looking demon creature, maybe about three feet off the ground, scutters out. "Hi. I'm Demashal, Eater of Storms. Avatar form. Much bigger and dangerous in true form."

LIAM: Yes, yes.

MATT: "You're looking for the child, right?"

LIAM: Seem to be.

MATT: "He's below, but the doors are closed and locked. You need a--" And he reaches behind the bodies and pulls out this stone circular seal. He goes, "You need this."

LAURA: So give it.

MATT: "How about we trade? I'm very hungry. Not a lot around here to eat anymore. Any fresh flesh?"

LAURA: Johnny! (laughter)

MATT: He comes out around the way with a small box and he's like, "Ooh, I found some-- Yeah?" Puts it in the sack, "Yes?"

LAURA: Someone in the room is asking for you.

MATT: Pulls a blade out. Make a deception check. (laughter)

LAURA: Nine.

MATT: "What aren't you telling me?"

LAURA: Go in the room.

MATT: Make intimidation check.

LAURA: Come on, big money! 17!

MATT: 17. He goes, "Oh, course, course, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, got to keep you all safe!" He creeps in with his dagger out, walks into the room and sees the creature. He goes, "Wh-wha--? Kill it, kill it! It's another one of them demons!"

LIAM: I nod and smile at our demon friend.

MARISHA: Make friends. Be nice.

MATT: (as Demashal) "For me?"

MARISHA: Yeah. Don't be rude.

MATT: The demon begins to walk forward.

LAURA: I feel terrible!

MATT: (as Johnny) "Wha-- What you mean?"

MARISHA: I just close the door.

MATT: "No, no, no!" As the door closes you hear-- (screaming and crunching) screams out of a section of the upper-- what you didn't notice is on the walls, there are these faint remaining elements of a stained glass reliefs that are on the top. And you see a bloody hand go (slaps and sliding) Like a terrible twist on the Titanic scene as blood smears down the glass.

CARLOS: Hey, buddy. What you saw back there? That's not how people usually act. You don't have to. We're going to get some ice cream later. It's going to be fine!

MICA: Spellslots is just crying. (laughter)

LAURA: You know, it started as a joke and then we just let it happen, so. I'm proud of us.

MATT: A few moments pass, it grows quiet and the door opens once more. (creaking) You see the squat demon come out, picking elements of muscle from a freshly exposed bone and goes, "Well, thank you very much. That's a fine trade. Good luck with the child," and then tosses the stone relief to you and I'm going to have leftovers for a little bit."

MARISHA: Oh, hey. Do you have any use for that bag of gold he had? Could we take that?

MATT: "Go ahead."

MARISHA: Thank you. All right.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: I believe Mordred was in that room. So he walks out and says-- blood spattered across him.

MATT: That's true, yeah.

LIAM: That was really something to see. Let's go.

MARISHA: All right. We go downstairs.

LAURA: We need to take care of him on the way out, though.

MARISHA: For sure. LAURA, MICA, and

MARISHA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Just let him enjoy his last meal.

MATT: Making your way to the double doors on the opposite side.

LAURA and MARISHA: ♪ Makin' my way! ♪

MATT: There it is. You can see the large angelic reliefs, both facing each other, arms meeting in the center where the circular imprint currently awaits the seal that you were given. Placing it into it, the doors open and lead you into a large stone spiral staircase that descends out of view.

LAURA: I feel so bad about Johnny. (laughter)

MARISHA: You're having guilt now?

LAURA: Too late, I know it's too late.

CARLOS: (as Onyx) It's really cool!

MICA: Do you want to go back and kill him? Would that make you feel better?

LAURA: No, no, no, no, it's fine.

MICA: Okay.

LAURA: Just take care of the child.

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: Got some reverse healing to do, let's go. (laughter)

MATT: Partway down the stairs, you find an alcove with a stone fountain of some kind that's just situated in the side. The water is still running after all this time. As you pass by, at a quick glance, the waters are red. Thicker than the average liquid.

MICA: Wine.

MATT: Totally.

MARISHA: Can I touch it and feel it to my fingers?

MATT: Sure.

LIAM: What's it taste like?

MARISHA: Well, I'm feeling it first, hang on.

LIAM: Make sure you taste it as well.

CARLOS: (as Onyx) Yeah, taste it!

MATT: It's thick and somewhat viscous. The smell is somewhat iron-like.

CARLOS: What does it taste like, though?

LIAM: I can't believe you tasted it! (laughter)

MARISHA: Wha-- What--? It's blood. Turns out this fountain bleeds. Maybe it can die, you know? All right, let's go.

MATT: Continuing down the spiral staircase.

CARLOS: I just like that that's how they're bonding. (laughter) (as Onyx) That was pretty good.

MATT: At the base of the stairs, you find an open, arched threshold that leads into a massive shrine. Long since repurposed as a catacomb. The intricate walls are lined with stone reliefs of angels and demons fighting mid battle. Rising tall to the 30-foot ceiling above where hundreds of still-lit candles fill every open pocket. Dual curving stairs rise against the sides of the wall to climb to a risen platform where a pulpit and altar sit on top to the back wall far from where you look up. The center of the room holds a half dozen heavy intricate stone tombs. Carvings of ancient warriors carved atop the lids a bit scattered in their positioning. And the floor. The floor shines with thousands and thousands of gold pieces glittering in the light between the scattered piles of bones. The air suddenly grows incredibly cold. Your breath immediately visible, the candles, all flicker in unison, their flame shifting from yellow orange to a dull blue, pale blue. You now see a spectral entity rise from the gold and the floor above. It's a child. A boy in his teenage years, his clothes dirty and tattered. His left leg seems to vanish past the knee. As he floats above within the room. "(gasp echoes) (echoing) More imbeciles come to help me out. Great. The bigger the network, the easier the profit. You! See this depressingly small hoard? It's nowhere near enough! Good help seems to always be a challenge to find and you all look slightly less useless than the others. You want to live? Go! Get out there in the western kingdoms and bring me some real treasure." Floats there, awaiting a response.

MARISHA: Oh, I don't know about you all, but I had no plans to go to the West.

MICA: I also work for no one, so.

MATT: Just make yourselves useful.

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: I need gold--

LAURA: We will make-- ourselves useful, darling.

MATT: “Get me some.” His face pouts a little bit. “Why has it been so hard to find help? Well, at least Johnny's still out there.”

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: “He'll bring me back some gold. I'm nowhere near close.

LIAM: What do you need it for, young one?

MATT: You can see the angry frustration in the face melt away for a second as the spirit's eyes go distant. “I need to help her, she deserves it. Made a promise that I'd help her and then this is nowhere near enough. I can't leave until I help her!” And as that echoes through the chamber, you can see a spirit flickers and grows wider. And you see the wind whip up a bit.

LAURA: Who is she?

MATT: “Gillian. Are you going to help me or not?”

LIAM: We are going to help you leave this mortal coil. Come boy, let's play.

MATT: The spirit's eyes narrow, and you watch as the chamber's temperature drops even lower. Blue flames flicker in his spiritual eyes and you watch as all the candles begin to dim. “If you want to walk to your death that's entirely up to you, armored boy. Fine, let your spirit die in some ways like mine did.” And you hear the rumbling as the bones begin to rise up and form. You watch as these massive skeletons begin to pull out of the hoards of gold, not quite humanoid, larger, stranger. Bipedal, but shouldn't be. Large, elongated skulls with curved horns, not unlike the one on your head. As you see massive bovine-like skeletons holding large glaives rise, two of them to each side of this spirit.

MARISHA: The cows.

LAURA: (laughs)

MARISHA: It's the cows.

MATT: “You want to step against the spirit of Wert? Then fine, join me.” Everyone roll initiative.

MARISHA: (laughs) Wert!

LIAM: Moo.

MICA: Ooh, natural 20!

LAURA: Moo with me.

MATT: Nice!

MAIRSHA: Cocked.

LIAM: Dang. Shitty initiative.

MARISHA: All right, all right, all right, okay.

MICA: That's going to be the only 20 I get of the game.

MARISHA: 20 on initiative is the worst.

MICA: It is!

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: It is, I hate it.

MICA: Because there goes my luck. Womp, womp.

MARISHA: Such a waste.

MATT: All right, 25 to 20?

MICA: I got 22 in total.

MATT: 22, almost as much as Wert did.

MICA: Oh! Ugh! I don't like that.

MATT: (chuckles)

MICA: He's a ghost, shouldn't he, you know, not count?

MATT: He's a sprightly child, or was, at one point.

MICA: Oh.

MATT: All righty, 20 to 15?

CARLOS: 18.

MARISHA: 15.

MATT: Nice, we have Laszlo, and then we have Tauro. All right. 10, 15 to 10?

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: 10 to five?

LIAM: Nine!

LAURA: Seven. (laughs)

MATT: All righty.

LAURA: Oh wait, wait, wait. No, I rolled seven, nine! (Laura, Liam, and Matt laugh)

MATT: There you go, Mordred and Remy.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: Perfect, so at the top of this, you see the spirit of this boy, Wert, angrily begin to rise and extend his hands. You see him try and push upward and it's like something's pulling him down and he gets frustrated for a second. He's going to go ahead and glance towards you, Tauro and say-- “Well, if Johnny's not going to help, I need someone else to help me-- You!” Make a wisdom saving throw for me.

ALL: Oh. Ah.

MARISHA: Saving throw?

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: Come on.

MARISHA: Oh, cocked. It keeps getting up in that... Ooh, that's real bad, I rolled a two. For a three total.

LIAM: Wow.

LAURA: I think that probably saved.

LIAM: Yep.

MATT: Blue flames now flicker matchingly in the eyes of Tauro as you have become Wert's thrall. You are charmed by him and now working on his side of the battle for the time being.

LIAM: Three cows! (laughter)

MARISHA: No, no, I'm not one of them!

MATT: “Good, good, the right attire for the right occasion. Kill them, please.” He says to the other skeletons and continues to float up, seemingly resisting some sort of force that's holding him down. Though, he's still 30 feet up in the air. That is going to bring us to Indra's go.

MICA: In all of my arcane knowledge, would I know if physical or magic attacks would hurt this ghost?

MATT: Roll on an arcana check.

MICA: Okay. (die clatters)

MATT: Arcana or religion, your call.

MICA: What's 17 plus 8?

MATT: Good enough.

MICA: Okay, cool. (laughter)

MATT: Magic of all different kinds definitely seems to have an impact on spectral entities. You would know that they probably, some physical strikes tend to not be as effective as well as cold and poison, seeing as how they're an undead spirit.

MICA: Good to know.

MATT: So, what you got going?

MICA: Thank you, I'm going to look at one of the moo-moo men and cast Ray of Frost at it.

MATT: All righty. Which is a, oh, dang. Does 15 hit?

MATT: 15 does hit.

MICA: Dope, that is 4d6. (dice clatter) 5, 9, 10-

MATT: Laszlo, you're on deck.

MICA: 15 points of cold damage.

MATT: 15 points of cold damage.

MICA: And the target's speed is also halved.

MATT: Nice. Awesome, so one of the hell bovines, it's now covered in frost and ice crystals across it, and you see like, (imitates bovine thudding) it's having to move and push through the parts of its body where joints are now frozen and locked. It's definitely slowed, and it's taken a nice little hit to its body.

MICA: Dope, okay.

MATT: Are you remaining there in the, in the the stairway entryway?

MICA: How far am I from everything right now?

MATT: You're about 20 feet from the two skeletal bovines. You are right next to Tauro, and the ghost is about 35 feet within the chamber.

MICA: Seeing as Tauro is ranged, I'm going to stay where I am, I'm going to stay put for a bit.

MATT: You got it, okay, finishing your turn, Indra, Laszlo, you're up, Tauro, you're on deck.

CARLOS: The opposite minion, I'm going to cast Decrepify on.

MATT: Ooh, very nice.

CARLOS: Curse creature within 60 feet, for four rounds, their movement is halved, and any physical attacks they use deal half damage. It's a DC 15, constitution.

MATT: Nice.

CARLOS: At the end of their turn.

MATT: Correct, so as you reach out, expend the essence, you watch as the shadows pierce inside of it and pull it to the ground like these tendrils of black and gray are now keeping it roped and its skeletal bone structure is now fighting against it, elements of it turning to dust by the contact. Both of these are pretty hindered at the moment. Well done.

CARLOS: I'm going to send Spell Slots after that guy. (laughs)

MICA: Oh, Spell Slots!

MATT: Do it.

CARLOS: He's going to, tup-tup-tup-tup-tup, as he's running up to him. (die clatters) 10.

MATT: 10 does not hit.

CARLOS: It's like a soft pillow.

MATT: Yep. (laughter) More of a gentle caress of the face.

CARLOS: And yeah, that's the end of my turn.

MATT: All right, finishing Laszlo's turn. Tauro, you're up. Your friends are your enemies, your choice.

MARISHA: Do I get to try and save from this at the top of my turn?

MATT: At the end of your turn you do.

MARISHA: At the end of my turn, ugh, okay. Who do I see in my nearest periphery?

MATT: You're right next to Indra. You are right next to all your friends, essentially. You guys are still standing in the stairway, where you were standing, so you have the pick of your litter.

MARISHA: Five, 10, 15, 20, I'm going to roll to see. I'm going to say, five, 10, I'm going to attack Mordred.

MATT: Go for it, as you're bearing down, looking at this, getting ready to charge in.

LIAM: Wait, what are you--? (laughter)

MARISHA: Moo, bitch. (imitates arrow shooting) (laughter) I'm going to do Hungering Arrow.

LIAM: I can't get out of the way. (laughter)

MARISHA: Two hits, oh, I rolled low.

CARLOS: That's a gif if I've ever heard one.

MARISHA: Moo, bitch.

CARLOS: Moo, bitch.

MARISHA: Can't get out of the way.

MATT: Can't get out of the way.

MARISHA: Okay, so the first one is a 10 to hit, which I don't think hits.

LIAM: (whooshing)

MARISHA: The next one is a 15.

LIAM: (whooshing)

MARISHA: Miss?

MATT: Both of them impact in the shield, no impact.

MARISHA: I rolled a nine and a three, great.

MATT: All right, now go ahead and roll another wisdom saving throw.

MARISHA: Or no, no, wait, eight plus nine, that's 17.

LIAM: No.

MARISHA: Right, am I doing this right? Yes, I am.

MATT: Eight plus nine would be 17, yeah.

MARISHA: So 17, but still no?

MATT: Still no.

MARISHA: Okay, still no, both miss.

MATT: All right. It's power of friendship. You fire.

LIAM: Tauro, Tauro! (laughter)

MATT: Oh no. Oh no. (laughs)

CARLOS: I'll allow it.

MATT: Things--

CARLOS: I'll allow it.

MARISHA: A different Tauro. I will do my bonus action to do, spend discipline, to do Shadow Power, so every time I attack, I heal myself.

MARISHA: So you watch now as the blue, glowing in Tauro's eyes, these black shadow wings appear from the back, these black tendrils in the shape of wings and this aura of black energy surrounds her.

MARISHA: Just pouring out from under the mask and the helm.

MATT: All right, that finishes your go, Tauro. Go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw for me, please.

MARISHA: That was, so eight--

LAURA: You can do it, come on!

MARISHA: All right, come on. Big money, big money. Oh my god, no, four, rolled a three.

MATT: Hell yes, okay.

MARISHA: No! (laughter)

MICA: That was small money.

MARISHA: Small money, four dollars.

MICA: Four dollars? Oh no, how you supposed to buy chicken nuggets?

MARISHA: No, don't--

CARLOS: Any pots in this room?

MARISHA: Very little value, kick it. Just go over, start kicking pots angrily.

MATT: Finishing Tauro's turn, the two hell bovine skeletons begin to lurch forward. They're both slowed and can only get to the very frontline, which means their only target is going to be you at the moment, since you're the one in front. So by slowing them down, they can't get to any of the meatier pieces, unfortunately. So both of them swing towards you. So they both have enlarged glaives, one of them--

LIAM: Two glaive.

MATT: That is, yeah, that's a 24 to hit.

LIAM: That does kind of hit.

MATT: Indeed, you take, ooh, 13 points of physical damage--

LIAM: Ooh.

MATT: From the one that is slowed by you. The other one, that's going to be a 19 to hit.

LIAM: Hits.

MATT: Hits again, this one, however, it's decrepified by you, which means you would take 11, reduced to five points of physical damage from it. They both also are jailers, so you watch as (imitates magical whooshing) suddenly, I need you to make a wisdom saving throw.

MARISHA: Jailers? Uh oh.

MATT: And you make--

LIAM: Real low.

MATT: A wisdom saving throw.

LIAM: Real low, that is a five.

MATT: Your movement is reduced to zero until the end of the next turn.

LIAM: I don't need movement.

CARLOS: Crit fail.

MATT: Crit fail, your movement is also reduced to zero. You're both locked into place by some sort of strange arcane power and your feet cannot move off the ground.

LAURA: Oh no.

MATT: That finishes their turn. That brings us to Mordred and Remy.

LIAM: All right, as a bonus action, I will recite more scripture from the church and use Laws of Justice to grant myself and allies within 30 feet resistance to cold, fire and lightning damage. And I will use my action to consecrate the ground we stand on. For the next four rounds, we will heal at the start of our turns. We get back 1d6 plus two. So at the start of your turns.

MATT: You've got it. All righty.

LIAM: Have pity, they are all moo-man beings. (laughter)

LAURA: Oh no.

CARLOS: How long did you have that? How long did you have it locked in place?

LIAM: Five minutes. (laughter)

MICA: Waiting for the right turn.

MATT: All righty, finishing your turn, Mordred, unable to move from your space, you slam your shield into the ground, you watch as this arcane circle (imitates magic booming) apparates out in a space around Mordred and as it does, you feel the soft, divine energy, beginning to close any wounds as they begin to arrive. Remy, what are you doing?

LAURA: Well, first, I'm going to heal three points.

MATT: There you go.

LAURA: And then I'm going to run up behind the bovine that's attacking Mordred. Actually, Mordred's probably got it handled, I'm going to run up behind Laszlo.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Just seem a little bit smaller, but both of you were actually pretty hardcore, aren't you?

LIAM: I'm pretty fucked up, actually.

LAURA: Then I'm going to run up behind you, all right, the one attacking him.

LAURA: All right.

LAURA: It's not going to kill him anyway, and I'm going to, as I'm running up, (imitates magic whooshing) turn into my crocodile form.

MATT: You got it.

LAURA: And I'm going to maul.

MATT: Go for it, maul. (die clatters)

LAURA: Whoa, that was aggressive. Plus nine, so 18.

MATT: 18 does hit.

LAURA: All right. (die clatters) 11 points.

MATT: 11 points of damage, all righty. As you reach out, transforming, (imitates crocodile snarling) reach out with your claws and bite towards it and you take a chunk of its bone off. You can see part of the ribs now broken on the inside, but it's still holding itself together. (hell bovine whines) Well done, does that finish your go?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: All righty, that now brings us to the top of the round. It is Wert's go. Wert is now shouting out into the field. “Jillian, I'm trying, but they're getting in my way! I'll stop you for her sake.” And as he raises his hands into the sky, the wind begins to whip up and the gold begins to (imitates gold whooshing) pick up in the wind. Faster and faster. Suddenly, you're all being pelted by a storm of gold coins. I need everybody in this space to go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw against his Affluent Poltergeist ability.

LIAM: Ugh.

MICA: What we love most is betraying us.

MARISHA: Including me I'm assuming?

MATT: Including you, yeah, and including the bovines. It's everything.

MARISHA: Well, that was a good roll, though.

MICA: Oh! I got an 18.

CARLOS: 19. Okay.

LAURA: Natural 20.

MICA and MARISHA: (gasp)

MATT: Nice.

LIAM: Natural six.

MATT and LAURA: (laugh)

MARISHA: 23.

CARLOS: Wait, is this how the pots get full? (laughter)

MICA: We figured it out!

MATT: So success on that one.

MARISHA: We're witnessing a natural phenomenon.

MATT: So you take what would've been 23 points of physical damage, instead you take 11.

MICA: Jeebus!

MATT: What'd you roll?

LAURA: Natural 20, for 22.

MATT: 11 points of physical damage.

LIAM: Six.

MATT: 23 points of physical damage.

LIAM: Mordred's down.

LAURA: (gasps) Mordred!

MATT: (thudding)

MARISHA: Not our crusader!

MICA: Is the ground still consecrated?

LIAM: Avenge me.

MATT: The consecration stays.

MICA: Oh, good, good. Okay, thank goodness.

LAURA: Oh wait, does Mordred, he will heal as he--

LIAM: At the top of--

MATT: If it comes to his turn, it will.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Uh oh.

MARISHA: Oh no.

LIAM: Mess with the bull, you get the horns.

CARLOS: 19, do I have to roll for Spell Slots?

MARISHA: Dab.

MATT: Yes.

MARISHA: (laughs)

CARLOS: 13.

LIAM: Please dab up, diagonally up and away from you.

MATT: 13, so you take 11 points of damage and as you're like, shielding it, you look past the storm of gold coins whipping past and you look out and you can see Spell Slots, turns around to you with this like, if a skeleton could make a sad face--

LAURA: Ooh. No!

MATT: It reaches.

CARLOS: In that moment, Laszlo realizes like, you've been my son this entire time. (laughter)

LAURA: ♪ Only time ♪

MATT: The jaw (imitates jaw cracking) gets torn off. The arm, (imitates arm ripping) torn off, and eventually the skeleton is just pulled apart by the pelting gold coins. Gone, gone, gone.

MICA: ♪ (sings taps) ♪

MARISHA: 23 total.

MATT: 23, you take 11 points of physical damage and make another saving throw.

MARISHA: And make another saving throw.

MATT: Correct.

MARISHA: Okay, so that brings me 27. Just a wisdom saving throw--

MATT: Bovine's safe.

MARISHA: –you mean?

MATT: Wisdom saving throw, yeah.

MARISHA: (chuckles) Rolled a three again.

MATT: Ah, still under his guise, all right, cool.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

MATT: So that finishes Wert's turn. You can see now, this angst in his face, this deep sadness and anger and is just, right now, conflicted in this moment that finishes his turn. Indra, you're up. Laszlo, you're on deck.

MICA: So, back to the 15 feet thing.

MATT: Yeah.

MICA: The bovines, they are within 15 feet of each other, like next to each other?

MATT: They are, they both swarmed towards Mordred, yes.

MICA: Right, is it possible--

MATT: You might, there's a chance you could hit Remy, but if you want to risk it.

LAURA: I'm behind.

MICA: You're behind, okay, then I rescind that.

MATT: Or go for it, your call.

MICA: You know, nah. (laughter) We already have someone down. Oh, you said one, I get a d6 plus how much?

LAURA: Plus two.

MATT: Plus two.

MICA: All right, going to put that, ooh, six! And I'm going to Ray of Frost at the same one.

MATT: Okay, go ahead and roll an attack again.

MICA: 16 plus, 26, does that hit him?

MATT: That definitely hits.

MICA: Wonderful, so now it's 5d6.

MATT: The damage is increasing because you're focusing the beam, yep.

MICA: Exactly. That's five, right? Yep, that's six, five, five, that's 16 plus six.

MATT: 22.

MICA: 22, 24. 24- 24 points of chilly.

MATT: So with that, the first bovine form, you've been focusing this beam on, you watch as you're pushing and just focusing this intense, arcane blast of frozen death onto it. And as it does, (imitates ice cracking) the ice builds up, builds up, and builds up around it, it's pushing forward and pulling its glaive into the air, and it's about to bring it down before, (imitates ice cracking) it freezes solid, and then as the coins hit it, (imitates ice breaking) it breaks away into thousands of tiny, frozen bone fragments.

LAURA: Nice.

MICA: Dope, dope, dope, dope, dope, dope, dope, dope.

MATT: All right, Laszlo, you're up.

CARLOS: Do I have a clean line to hit that other bovine?

MATT: With a little bit of movement you would.

CARLOS: Okay, can I take that little bit of movement?

MATT: Sure, shift to the side and you now can see it. It's between Mordred and Remy, and so you're now hitting them from a flank position.

CARLOS: Great, I'm going to undo my coat real quick, and Laszlo reveals his rib cage, and it starts coming out in twisting into a very long spear, right at this guy.

MATT: All righty.

CARLOS: So I'm casting Bone Spear on him.

MATT: You got it, go ahead and for that, he has to save.

CARLOS: He has a DC 14, yeah.

MATT: That's right, dexterity save. No, natural six, does not save.

CARLOS: 11, 11, 22.

MATT: 22 points of damage?

CARLOS: Yeah.

MICA: Damn!

MATT: That's just enough, actually!

MARISHA: Woo! Woo-hoo!

MATT: So as you come 'round, (imitates Laszlo whooshing) you form it, and then (imitates ribs cracking) the ribs come out and form into this spiraling drill, magical spear, and as it blasts into the side, you watch as it shatters the entire mid section. The pelvis and spinal column are just gone and the rest of it standing there (imitates bones thudding) hits the ground and just falls apart into pieces of bone.

CARLOS: Yeah, and as it goes down, under his breath, he goes-- You killed Spell Slots. (laughter) That's how origin stories start, guys. (laughter)

MATT: Awesome, finishing your turn, Tauro, you're up.

MARISHA: So, okay, five, 10, 15, 20, I'm going to do it again, see who I hit. I had natural 20. Whoa, oh now! On who to pick, so.

MATT: How much hatred you got?

MARISHA: 10 hatred.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: So I'm going to (imitates arrows whizzing) Hungering Arrow again. (dice clatter) Great rolls, just great rolls. 19 for the first one.

CARLOS: That hits.

MARISHA: I'm going to go and do damage.

LAURA: I'm going to die.

MARISHA: Great roll, 10 damage.

CARLOS: Uh, okay. (chuckles)

MARISHA: And then 23 for the second one.

CARLOS: That hits.

MARISHA: For the second hit, nine damage.

CARLOS: Okay, that's cool.

MARISHA: And I'm going to spend--

CARLOS: We're still going to be friends if you spend this, that's fine. (laughs)

MARISHA: I'm going to spend six hatred to toss down a spike trap and back up.

MATT: All right, so after you (imitates arrows whooshing) fire twice into Laszlo's side, you're like, "Ah!" Reacting, you don't even see it at the moment, but you slip and throw this little trap right underneath Laszlo that he does not even notice.

LAURA: Ohh, so sad.

MARISHA: Okay, I'm going to hold.

CARLOS: It's okay.

MATT: All right, that finishes your turn. Both of the hell bovines are destroyed. Mordred and Remy--

MARISHA: Do I get to roll? I get to roll, right, to see if I save?

MATT: You do, yes.

MARISHA: Come on, come on, big money. Come on, come on. Okay, okay, it was a 15 plus my wisdom save for 16 total.

MATT: You break free of the influence of Wert.

MARISHA: So I'm about to, I back up and I'm about to hit the detonation on the trap, and I go. (laughter)

MATT: Perfect, all righty, that finishes your go. What are you guys doing?

LIAM: Well, I heal, I rolled a six on a d6, so I get eight hit points back.

MATT: Indeed, so you heal and come to consciousness on the ground. (Mordred groans) The wind still whipping around you, coins, and you can just barely see above the glowing spectral form of this infuriated child.

LIAM: All right, well there is nothing I can do to get up there, so I just, am I still held in place from, no, the--

LAURA: Bovine's dead.

LIAM: The bovines are dead so I can move, right?

MATT: Indeed, yeah, you are--

LIAM: So I use half my movement to return to standing.

MATT: You get back up.

LIAM: And I will continue to recite the Laws of Justice to keep up our resistance, because it's about all I can do.

LAURA: Maybe Gillian's under the gold. He keeps pointing down.

MATT: Make a history check for me.

MARISHA: Hmm. (die clatters)

LAURA: 10.

MATT: 10? It's hard to place, but you feel like you've come across a Gillian before. You can't quite pinpoint it though.

LAURA: She did sound familiar.

LIAM: Gillian Anderson of "The X-Files."

MATT: So that's your turn?

LIAM: That's it, yeah.

MATT: All righty. What are you doing, Remy?

LAURA: The only thing I can try to do, is Wind Shear, so I'm going to hold up my arm again and a spectral blade is going to shoot out towards the child.

MATT: You've got it. (die clatters)

LAURA: That's a 27 to hit.

MATT: That does hit.

LAURA: 3d8.

LIAM: Shit. (dice clatter)

LAURA: 17 points.

MATT: 17 points, nice. So it does strike him, (imitates blade thudding) but the Wind Shear doesn't impact him as heavily as you had hoped. The spectral form seemingly resistant to a lot of physical damage.

LAURA: Yeah, I can only do physical damage, guys, sorry about that.

MATT: And so he is still sitting strong, angry, and the storm is still whipping around. That finishes your turn?

LAURA: I'm going to (laughs) go with me on this.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I'm going to send my swarm of insects as a bonus action.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: But I'm going to swarm them down and under the gold.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Searching for something.

MATT: Okay, we'll come to you next round, then.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: All right, coming to the top of the round, it's now Wert's turn again. He's going to continue to whip this into a frenzy. Everyone, once again, make a dexterity saving throw.

LIAM: I'm going to go down again.

MARISHA: Oh boy, you're going to go back down again?

LIAM: Probably.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

MARISHA: Ooh, that's bad. Well, actually, might be okay.

MICA: 15.

MATT: 19 points of physical damage.

MARISHA: Is that halved?

MATT: No, she failed.

LAURA: Woo, 15 fails.

MARISHA: Okay.

MICA: 19.

LAURA: I fail.

MATT: 19 points of physical damage.

LIAM: 19.

MATT: You take nine points physical damage.

LIAM: Mordred is down.

LAURA: Ugh, Mordred!

CARLOS: 21.

MATT: You take nine points physical damage.

MARISHA: I failed, 15, so.

MATT: Take 19 points physical damage. You're getting, this is turning very badly. You're getting the sense that, on a physical feature, combat-on-combat scenario, you are at a severe disadvantage and this is already turning against you. That brings us to Indra.

MICA: So I'm going to start opening a tear in the universe.

MATT: Okay.

MICA: But I'm going to say-- Before I destroy all of your treasures and your gold, because I can, and I will, what do you want us to do?

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

MICA: Oh, I'm good at that.

MARISHA: Come on, come on, come on, Indra.

MICA: 13.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: He's, at this point, it's just in this rage at this point and glances over towards you and goes-- “You have already passed the point of being helpful by destroying my friends.”

MICA: What if we get you more friends?

MATT: “Just bring me gold for her. All you can find. She is too good for all of you!”

MICA: Who is she? We can't help you if you don't tell us things.

MATT: You did hear--

LAURA: Gillian, obviously.

MATT: You heard Gillian earlier.

MICA: And who is Gillian?

MATT: Make a history check.

MICA: Ma!

MARISHA: (chuckles) Come on. (die clatters)

MICA: 15.

MATT: 15, you did come across a Gillian in Caldeum once. She was raising a small child. This is a few years ago.

MARISHA: Oh no, mommy. She was raising a small child.

MICA: The tear won't close, but Indra will lower her staff. Is that your mom?

MATT: “No, not my mom!”

MICA: Sorry for assuming, sorry for assuming!

MATT: That ends your turn, he is not happy about that.

MICA: Oh god!

MATT: (laughs) What are you doing Laszlo?

CARLOS: How far up is he?

MATT: About 30 feet from you, 35 feet.

CARLOS: Oh, too far.

MATT: You can move to get closer if you want.

CARLOS: Yeah, if he's floating, I wanted to cast Death Nova again, the poison, but it's 20 feet from me.

MATT: Yeah, it's not going to reach him.

CARLOS: If my hair's really high? (laughter)

MATT: Not quite, not quite.

LAURA: What if he jumped up in the air?

CARLOS: Yeah, then I'm going to try to, there's nothing I can really do, this is all physical. I'm going to bone spear him.

MATT: Okay.

CARLOS: Yeah.

MATT: Go for it, all right, so he--

CARLOS: Dexterity save.

MATT: Does not save, go ahead and roll damage.

CARLOS: Okay. (dice clatter) So that's a nine plus nine, 18.

MATT: 18, all right. The spear (imitates spear thudding) strikes him. Once again, the spectral form shimmers as it hits, but as a physical damage source, it's not doing quite as much as you'd want it. That finish your turn?

CARLOS: That finishes the turn.

MATT: Tauro, you're up.

MARISHA: Okay, I'm going to use my discipline to cast Mark for Death on him.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: And then, so five it brings it back down to 13, and then I'm going to do--

MATT: Mordred, Remy, you're next.

MARISHA:: Spend 12 hatred to do Rapid Fire. So that brings me down to three hatred, okay.

MATT: All right, so six attacks at him. Go for it.

MARISHA: All plus five to hit. So first attack is an 18, natural 18, so 23.

MATT: That hits.

MARISHA: Should I do these one at a time?

MATT: Just roll your attacks up front.

MARISHA: Okay, so-- One hit. (die clatters) That hits, ooh, that's not as good. That is a 13.

MATT: Misses. (die thuds)

MARISHA: That's even worse.

MATT: Misses. (die clatters)

MARISHA: 15.

MATT: Misses.

MARISHA: Oh my god. What is this, attack four?

MATT: This is the fifth attack now.

MARISHA: Oh my god, a natural one.

MATT: Misses, last attack.

MARISHA: Okay, and a 13, so 18 total.

MATT: Yeah, so two hits.

MARISHA: Oh, yikes, six, okay. 2d6 on this one plus two, okay. So that is eight damage on the first one.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Okay, and 12 damage on the second.

MATT: Okay, so 20 damage, halved--

MARISHA: 20 damage total.

MATT: Physical damage not quite impacting heavily on a spiritual entity.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: This isn't looking-- not looking good. That finishes your turn, Tauro. Mordred, Remy, you're up.

LIAM: Okay, Mordred comes to again. (laughter)

MATT: (groaning)

LAURA: How you doing?

LIAM: As a bonus action, I will do Laws of Justice for everybody, but then I will say-- Come child, perhaps we can leave this place together. And I will provoke him.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: So he has to make a DC wisdom of 14.

MATT: Natural one. (Laura and Mica gasp)

LIAM: So he's got to come for me.

MATT: Yes, he does.

LIAM: And I'll just stay on the ground, smiling up.

MATT: Okay. Remy, what are you doing?

LAURA: I'm going to say-- Gillian, I've heard of a Gillian.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

MICA: Big money.

MATT: With advantage, using the name.

LAURA: Oh, okay. (die clatters) 17.

MATT: You watch as the anger and frustration in the middle of this child spirit's face goes-- “You do? Where, how, where is she?” The coins begin to slow down and (imitates coins clattering) fall around.

LAURA: Come down and we can tell you.

MATT: Looking back at Mordred, (Wert snarls) (die clatters) the coins begin to slow even further, and you're no longer being pelted like the middle of a terrible storm and more just the gentle battering. As the spirit glides down, the candles flicker brighter once more and floats there. The once extremely intense and angry, wrathful spirit now looks more age-appropriate. This child entity looks at you with this snot-nosed mid-teens face and goes-- “What, how–“

LAURA: How did you get taken from her?

MATT: “All of us did here and they destroyed the town, but, I mean, she got away in time, I think. I wasn't ready, the project wasn't ready. I was saving. It's not enough, I have to keep saving, make sure she's okay.”

LAURA: Child, we can take you to her.

MATT: “I can't–“

LAURA: This is more gold than she could ever want.

MATT: “I can't save myself from this, I can't leave. Not until I have enough. She's worth all of it.” Roll a religion check for me, if you would, Mordred. (die clatters)

LIAM: Ooh, very nice, 20.

MATT: Often, wrathful spirits that are left behind are bound by unfinished business or the thought of unfinished business or something is binding them there. You're not certain what the sense here is, but based on the words that he's saying, he does not feel he can leave.

LAURA: How much gold do you think you have here?

MATT: “13,261, not including what you brought here.”

MARISHA: And what were you trying to build for her?

MATT: “A future. Tristram couldn't provide for her. I was planning to take her with me when I got away. I know she's a little older, but I'd grow up eventually.”

MARISHA: You were in love with her.

MATT: “No, just wanted to make sure she was okay.”

LIAM: Can we look in on her for you?

MATT: Make a persuasion check. (die clatters)

LIAM: 21.

MATT: “Would you do that? Would you bring her this?” And he gestures to the gold in the chamber.

LIAM: If it will bring rest to you in this place.

MATT: The spirit glides to the ground, floating just inches above it and mimics sitting on the edge of one of the tombs. And this wrathful spirit, more than you've noticed at this point, just looks pitiful.

MARISHA: We're hoping to rid Tristram of this pain and suffering and rebuild. This could go a long way towards that life, happy life for Jillian.

MATT: “I don't care about Tristram anymore, this place is ruined. Too much evil's happened here and it's just going to keep getting worse, but if you can–“

LAURA: Tristram, smishtram, this gold's for Gillian. We'll take it to Gillian.

MATT: “Okay, okay.” And with that, you see the spirit begin to fade and drift into the ground. All the rest of the gold, ting-ting-ting-ting, falls around the stone. And it's hard to explain, but in that moment it feels like a tension, a thickness the air seems to lighten. And with that, you begin to gather the coin and the treasure and all the valuables that have been gathered over time, by whatever grave robbers and tomb raiders and such that have found their way into sub cathedral region.

MARISHA: I dig under where he was perched at the top of the mound. Is there anything of importance under there, as to why he was there?

LAURA: Yeah, a swarm full of bugs.

LAURA: (imitates bugs buzzing)

MARISHA: Oh god, ah!

MATT: True. What you do find is a small locket.

MARISHA: Hm.

MATT: With a drawing, not a very well-done drawing, but it looks to be a woman.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: Young, dark hair.

MARISHA: I show it to Indra and Remy. Does this look like the Gillian you remember?

LAURA: I just recognize the name, I really don't have any idea.

MARISHA: Oh.

MICA: Does it?

MATT: It does, if poorly drawn.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: It can kind of pass.

MARISHA: It's like the Ramona Flowers drawing.

MATT: Yeah. Yeah, straight up, just--

MARISHA: Yeah. Yeah. Put it over my neck. All right, I guess we're going to be messengers.

LIAM: Mordred shoves an empty pot into Laszlo's hands. Hold this, one--

LAURA: No! (laughter)

MATT: For the hours it takes to gather the treasure that is left here, you finally have the last gold piece in your grasp. And as you begin to exit up the staircase, the voice once more creeps in. “She gets every coin or I'll follow you for the rest of my days. I'm not above being a little shit for eternity.”

LAURA: (chuckles)

MATT: And that's where we'll end the session.

LIAM and MARISHA: Aw. Aww.

MARISHA: (clapping)

LIAM: Well, you're going to have to follow to Vegas because we're getting fucked up!

ALL: Woo-woo!

MATT: (laughing)

MICA: We go straight to a priest, we all get exorcized, we get rid of this little shit, we take all the gold.

MATT: That historically goes over really well in the land of Sanctuary.

MICA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: Spell Slot's got a new friend, you know.

CARLOS: Yeah.

MARISHA: It's great.

MICA: Justice for Spell Slot.

CARLOS: Yeah, none of you guys, none of you guys showed up for Spell Slot's funeral. I don't know why--

MATT: Oh.

CARLOS: We already buried him once.

LIAM: What can I say about Spell Slots? He was the best among us. (Marisha and Matt laugh)

MICA: He was a dirty little Kanye fan, but we loved him all the same.

CARLOS: I bury him like this. (laughter)

MICA: Next to his face.

MATT: Thank you guys for joining me into this rapid dungeon delve in the world of Diablo. Ran a little over, thank you for your patience, everyone. Thank you all for watching. We hope you enjoyed it as much as we did, being ridiculous and dark and silly and fun and killing monsters.

LAURA: And grave robbers.

MATT: And grave robbers, yeah, you guys hit the gamut today, worked out well. If you want to watch this campaign again or check out any of the other amazing free content as part of BlizzConline, visit blizzcon.com. Thank you for having us, we love you very much. And is it Thursday yet? Goodnight.

MARISHA: We'll get that treasure goblin one day!