Transcript:Crisis of Faith

Pre-show
MATT: Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

ALL: (garbled) We play Dungeons & Dragons!

MATT: Before we get into tonight's session, we do have some announcements to get through, beginning with our sponsor of the evening, NordVPN, with our local magician, Nordo the Magnificent.

ASHLEY: No.

MATT: Did I-- It's the Nagnificent.

SAM: Yes.

MATT: Did I say it right now?

SAM: Yes, yes. Oui, oui, monsieur. Nordo ze Nagnificent.

TALIESIN: Oh god.

SAM: The greatest magician.

MATT: Second greatest magician in the world.

SAM: (sighs) Really? Really? Really, Matt, really? You're trying this shit with me tonight?

ASHLEY: (laughs)

MATT: Yes.

SAM: The second greatest magician shit tonight? You of all people?

MATT: (quietly) Yes.

SAM: Yeah, you. You. Yeah, you. You have done great things to offend me. Do these look familiar to you?

MATT: (laughs) Oh my god, you dick! You dick!

(laughter)

SAM: Do these look familiar to you? I bust my hump out here every week, putting on the top hat and learning the trick, putting on a little show for you and your little friends here. All of that. Are you even listening to me every week? Do you pay attention or are you too busy? Are you too busy selling MacBooks on Twitter?

(laughter)

MATT: You fucker. You asshole.

(laughter)

SAM: Yes, yes.

TALIESIN: Wow.

(paper ripping)

SAM: Oh shit.

SAM: That's my script.

(further paper ripping)

SAM: Oh shit. How are we going to read the rest?

(laughter)

SAM: I had a whole thing tonight. I had a whole bit written tonight about hypnosis. It was a lot of rehearsal and a lot of-- It was a good trick, but no.

TRAVIS: Look at that page.

SAM: Because instead, I have to deal with this now.

(laughter)

SAM: I have been telling you for years, years, how to protect yourself with NordVPN, the fastest VPN on the planet. Online protection that can make you seem like when you're traveling, say, to the MacBook Factory, that you're not, because your IP address is hidden, protecting yourself from getting hacked or scammed.

(laughter)

SAM: You can even keep your location private from Twitter hackers.

LAURA: Wow.

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

SAM: And now, instead, I, Nordo the Nagnificent, have purchased 20 MacBook Pros.

(laughter)

SAM: For $750 each.

(laughter)

SAM: It was a fantastic deal. I could not resist. So, Matthieu, tonight, you owe me.

ASHLEY: Matthieu!

SAM: You owe me two things, Matthew.

MATT: Yes.

SAM: You owe me $15,000.

(laughter)

MATT: Okay.

SAM: And a goddamn apology.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Oh. (laughs)

MARISHA: Oh my god. (laughs)

(laughter)

MATT: Okay, I can get you on one of those.

SAM: Go on.

MATT: I am sorry--

(laughter)

MATT: -- that I briefly had Nord turned off on my phone.

SAM: Ah.

LAURA: Uh-huh, uh-huh.

MATT: And ended up getting hacked while I was in the air.

SAM: Hmm.

ASHLEY: Tsk, tsk.

SAM: And you've learned your lesson and you'll never do it--

MATT: I'll never do it again. I will maintain NordVPN on my phone to ensure this will not happen a (French accent) second time.

TRAVIS: Or fly on airplanes.

MATT: No, either. Obviously.

SAM: You can protect yourself with NordVPN and get a très bon deal at nordvpn.com/criticalrole, risk-free for 30 days, and get yourself a two-year plan, plus an extra gift. Matt, Mac to you. (laughter) (cheering)

(laughter)

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: All right, all right.

ASHLEY: That was so good.

MATT: I earned that. I earned that.

ASHLEY: That was a good one.

MATT: I earned that.

ASHLEY: That was good.

MATT: And for our second sponsor for tonight, D&D Beyond.

TRAVIS: ♪ D&D Beyond ♪

ALL: D&D Beyond!

MATT: Take your character to new heights with "Bigby Presents: Glory of the Giants." Bring a wealth of giant-themed character options to your table with a new barbarian subclass, two backdrops, and eight new feats to unleash runic magic and wield elemental power. This manual provides everything for dungeon masters with over 70 new monsters, more than 30 new magic items, lair maps, adventure hooks, tables, and more. Pre-order your copy today at dndbeyond.link/crbigby. I think Marisha, you're up next. The first episode of Candela Obscura is available to watch everywhere.

(cheering)

MARISHA: Yeah, that's right. You can find it on Twitch, you can find it on YouTube, or your favorite podcast streaming services. Wherever there's content, you can find it. Unless it's Pornhub.

SAM: Don't send people to Pornhub!

LIAM: It's probably there, too.

MARISHA: It might be there. It might be there.

LIAM: Yeah, it might be.

ASHLEY: Not that I would know.

MARISHA: Join us, though.

TRAVIS: Johnson.

MATT: Thought we got hacked.

MARISHA: For episode two, which is going to be Thursday, June 29th. I had to think about it for a second. June 29th, the next episode, Candela Obscura.

SAM: Woo!

MARISHA: It's going to be good.

TRAVIS: Candela Obscura.

MATT: Yay.

ASHLEY: Woo!

LAURA: Woohoo!

MARISHA: Same crew, same GM.

ASHLEY: Candela Obscurda!

MATT: Different story.

MARISHA: Ba-der-der-diskerders.

MATT: There you go. Thank you, Marisha.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Laura, you got something to talk about, too?

LAURA: Yes, I do.

MATT: All righty.

LAURA: I'm your friend, Matt. First of all--

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: (laughs)

LIAM: Oh no.

TRAVIS: Declare your allegiances.

ASHLEY: Open it.

LAURA: I'm opening it. ♪ (triumphant fanfare) ♪

TALIESIN: (gasps) Oh my god.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

MATT: Is that a three Trinket moon shirt? You son of a bitch.

LAURA: Trinket three moon shirt.

ASHLEY: I'm taking one home tonight.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: Two moons.

LAURA: You guys!

TRAVIS: Please tell me that's coming to gas stations everywhere.

LAURA: I hope so.

ASHLEY: I love it so much.

LAURA: Artist Stephanie Brown. I'm in love with this shirt. We've been working on it for far too long.

TRAVIS: Oh wow.

ASHLEY: I love it so much.

TRAVIS: I love it. That's really good.

ASHLEY: The only Trinket you'll like?

TRAVIS: Holy crap.

SAM: Uh-huh.

TALIESIN: I thought you were joking.

LAURA: Oh, I'm so excited about this shirt.

MATT: (laughs) Oh my god.

LAURA: Yes, check it out. It's in our stores.

ASHLEY: Retails!

LIAM: Wait, wait, wait, wait. These are the three moods of Matt after that NordVPN.

(laughter)

MATT: Yep, yep.

LAURA: All right, fine.

MATT: It always ends in resignation.

(laughter)

LAURA: In addition to that, I'm so excited about this, too. We have ExU Calamity chibi pins.

(cheering)

MATT: That's awesome.

LAURA: Yeah, Jenny Park, artist. I mean, they're just so adorable.

MARISHA: They're so great.

LAURA: Hold on, let me find you--

LIAM: They're so cute.

LAURA: But the cutest thing--

TRAVIS: There's Cerrit?

MARISHA: There is.

LAURA: Yes, there is. The best thing about these is if you collect them all, there's a sec-- Well, I just handed out the pins, but if you put all of them together--

SAM: They make a thing?

LAURA: You can create the cool--

LIAM: Stained glass.

LAURA: Yeah, the stained glass.

MATT: Oh, that's cool.

TALIESIN: What?!

TRAVIS: The backgrounds!

LAURA: Yeah, how cute as that?

MATT: That's rad.

MARISHA: That's so cool.

ASHLEY: Oh, I keep picking up the ones you're already holding.

(laughs)

MATT: Old Jim Lee X-Men, like nine-card Danger Room.

LAURA: It's so cute.

MATT: That's awesome.

LAURA: Check them out.

LIAM: You, too, can use the chibi Laerryn to destroy the chibi world.

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs)

SAM: (laughs)

TRAVIS: They got the Warhawks. I love it.

LAURA: They're really, really cool.

TRAVIS: Really detailed.

LAURA: Yeah, so anyway. That's in our store. Go look. It's fabulous.

MATT: So freaking cool. Thank you, Laura.

LAURA: You're welcome.

MATT: I do believe that ends our announcements, so let's--

LAURA: I feel like that was fast.

MATT: That was pretty quick.

TRAVIS: Good luck, guys.

LIAM: Oh my goodness.

ASHLEY: Good luck, one and all.

LAURA: Oh man.

MATT: Let's go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of--

LIAM: Down with the Dawnfather.

MATT: -- Critical Role. (air whooshing) (birds chirping)

Part I
MATT: And welcome back. So last we left off--

AIMEE: Oh my god.

MATT: This half of Bells Hells, upon discovering some other oddly scattered figures here in the midst of the Apogee Solstice, have come together in the wilds, in the center of the continent of Issylra. Upon trying to find a means of gathering where they are and where to go, they traverse one of the nearby roads before eventually coming to the town of Hearthdell. Here in Hearthdell, they meet some of the populace who seem to be a bit tense by a somewhat robust church appearance. The nearby temple, the Dawnfather on the north side of the city, as well as apparently Judicators that have been bringing with them a larger religious presence, an ominous one, to a town that itself prides its people on a less temple-centric life. Asking some questions, finding out about some of the events that have transpired here surrounding the solstice, as well as the nexus of the leylines that lies above the city, asked some questions, made some allies, until eventually you were introduced to the Elder Joan Abaddina. You went ahead and spoke with her a bit, asking for information about possibly Scrying for information on locations or people you wish to know about, and also discovered the burgeoning, boiling frustration of the townsfolk that currently continue to choke at the yoke of the temple, and those within, and the figures from Vasselheim and their wishes to pull them away from their paganistic beliefs, especially during this time period. You were then invited to meet with a secretive town gathering beneath the local brewery. There, you saw a rising angry tide of locals who, underneath the guidance of this elder, see the opportunity of a distracted religious structure. The events that are transpiring in Marquet pulling their eyes and ears and interests away. Now, with the swelling power and influence of the solstice apparently enhancing the capabilities of the local eidolons, the spirits that protect this land, at the ready, they're attempting to attack the temple, raze it, and send the people they dislike from within far from their village to never return. Upon asking if you are with or against them, you told them you were with them. You help them plan their approach and possible assault. After some conversation, the expression of some drinks that were a bit tampered with, and some modicum of successful and non-successful banter, tensions began to reach a breaking point, at which point the guards were assaulted. The cart in which you arrived with was shattered. The alarm was sounded. Now the temple is beginning to prepare itself for some sort of a scuffle. At which point, many of you begin to prepare for your own assault on this realm. We have Prism grabbing Deni$e and porting into the center of the temple.

EMILY: Yeah, but I haven't used my movement yet.

MATT: Not yet.

EMILY: To scramble.

AIMEE: (laughs)

MATT: We'll get there on your turn shortly.

LIAM: Start negotiating immediately.

(laughter)

EMILY: Please, daddy, let me scramble.

EMILY, MARISHA and AIMEE: (laugh)

MATT: Meanwhile, Bor'Dor and Orym and-- Let's see who else we have here. Oh, and we have Laudna.

MARISHA: (ominously) I'm in the bushes.

MATT: Indeed. Ashton out in the outskirts--

TALIESIN: I'm waiting for you.

MATT: -- just as the guards are sounding the alarm. The rest of the surrounded citizenship are weapons gathered, shouting, and ready to rush in. I need you all to roll initiative, please.

(cheering)

MARISHA: (screams)

LIAM: This combat is brought to you by WizKids Minis. Gilmore's Fantastic Fabrications are customizable figures created with more experienced hobby painters in mind. Adorned with epic magic effects and highly detailed armors, this cyclops stormcaller, which will float above my hand, will command attention on the table. Find even more Critical Role miniatures at wizkids.io/crminis and your local game store. Peace was never an option.

(laughter)

AIMEE: (air horn)

MATT: All right, so top of the round. 25 to 20.

TALIESIN: 21.

AIMEE: Oh!

LIAM: 22.

MATT: 22.

MARISHA: Ooh.

UTKARSH: I just rolled one roll.

AIMEE: Nice.

UTKARSH: You roll 1d20?

MARISHA: Yeah, and then add your initiative.

EMILY: But then you get to add this.

LIAM: Oh my goodness.

MATT: 20 to 15.

MARISHA: 18.

AIMEE: 18.

AIMEE: Ooh.

MARISHA: You're 18 as well?

AIMEE: 18.

MARISHA: Your dex is probably higher than mine?

AIMEE: 16.

MATT: What's your dex?

MARISHA: Wait, what?

MATT: Your dex is 16.

AIMEE: My dex is 16?

MARISHA: My dex is 14. So you go first.

AIMEE: Okay.

MATT: All right. All right.

TALIESIN: 16.

MATT: All right, 15 to 10.

EMILY: Lucky number 13.

MATT: Lucky number 13 right there. All right.

UTKARSH: And bringing up the rear.

(laughter)

AIMEE: Bor'Dor.

UTKARSH: Bor'Dor rolled a 10. 10 for your boy.

AIMEE: Bor'Dor-dor.

MATT: Okay, we have Bor'Dor.

UTKARSH: Probably a good thing.

TALIESIN: Where are you on the board right now?

UTKARSH: In front of the door.

EMILY: Oh, are you on the border?

UTKARSH: I'm next to the horsies.

EMILY: Bor'dor's at the border.

TALIESIN: Okay, I see you.

MATT: As the chaos ensues, Orym, you are up first, with Ashton on deck.

LIAM: Oh my gosh.

UTKARSH: Go, buddy, go.

MATT: You just finished throwing one of the soldiers into the side of the temple who fell to the ground on their side, clutching it, as the people begin to swarm and you hear the voices "(shouts)" getting louder and louder from the sides as they come rushing out of the bushes. What are you doing?

LIAM: Oh gosh, oh gosh. One quick question. I know what I'm going to do, but what does the little floating globule signify next to Orym there on the map?

MATT: You watch as the leather-bound tome that you've seen Prism walk around with suddenly appears in a small face.

EMILY: Dynios, play nice.

MATT: Arrives and goes like, "I don't really know what the fuck I'm doing here, but, I guess, continue with your business."

EMILY and AIMEE: (laugh)

LIAM: Hey, book. I begin to book and run five, 10, 15 feet.

AIMEE: Call him Daddy.

LIAM: I'm going to leap up to try to catch onto the stone up there. I'm going to thrust Seedling out and send out a Grasping Vine at the Flameguide.

MATT: Right there?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Kiro, okay.

LIAM: And yank her down.

AIMEE: Yay.

MARISHA: All right.

LIAM: Into the people.

MATT: Dexterity saving throw.

LIAM: Yes.

MATT: That is going to be a 15.

LIAM: Beats it.

MATT: Oh.

LIAM: So I will action surge and do the same thing again.

MARISHA: Come on.

MATT: Okay!

TALIESIN: Yep.

LIAM: Whoosh.

MARISHA: Wait, what is he rolling? Dex checks?

MATT: That's a 10.

EMILY: (gasps)

LIAM: Down comes Humpty Dumpty.

AIMEE: Bye!

MATT: Well, you attached to them.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Now you pulling them is your strength versus theirs.

LIAM: So someone's going somewhere, you're saying?

MATT: Someone's going somewhere.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: So I need you to make a strength test. A strength check. I'm going to have them do the same.

LIAM: I did not know this was part of the equation.

AIMEE: (nervous noises)

MATT: Well, it's tug of war at this point.

LIAM: Oh, I rolled so high.

EMILY: Yes, did you?

LIAM: Yep.

AIMEE: Here you go.

MARISHA: I can't tell if he's being facetious.

LIAM: So is it a save or just a check?

TALIESIN: I'm not looking, though.

MATT: Just a check. Just roll and add your strength modifier.

LIAM: I have no modifier. It's a 19.

(cheering)

MATT: They rolled a 13.

(cheering)

EMILY: Ah!

MATT: (Wilhelm scream)

UTKARSH: Huzzah!

MATT: Goes plummeting off the side, falls past you, into the ground, prone. That's going to be quite a bit of fall damage, comparatively. Okay. (impacts) "(groans)"

LIAM: If I have an incremental movement left, I will hop and land in front of the doors.

MATT: Okay. What's your movement?

LIAM: It's 30.

MATT: 30. That's about where you are. But you're also about to slide. You can let go, but yeah.

LIAM: Okay, well, you rule above, you are god above, but does the Boots of Striding and Springing account for the leap from the ground to the high point? I didn't climb.

MATT: Oh, that's true. You did leap up to there, so yeah. So I'll give you a little more movement, then.

LIAM: Thank you, sir.

MATT: No worries. You land on the ground next to them.

LIAM: Okay, donezo.

MATT: All righty. Finishing your go. Ashton, you're up.

TALIESIN: All right. Let's see what's going to happen. I'm going to start by, let's bloody rage. We're going to find out how weird this is about to get.

LIAM: Start the disco.

TALIESIN: Start the disco. Come on. That'll do! Ashton starts to go full rainbow sparkles. The sparks start coming out of the hand.

AIMEE: Yes.

TALIESIN: And sparks start popping out of the hammer.

MARISHA: Rainbow Dash.

TALIESIN: Rainbow Dash is about to happen. I'm going to run full speed, which I guess is 40 feet, directly at this asshole.

MATT: Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

MATT: That's full 40 there.

TALIESIN: All right. Because I can start this, I've got a dagger. So I'm going to throw my dagger because I'm going to keep this up for a minute.

MATT: Okay. So as you're rushing, you pull back and (air whooshes). Go ahead and throw.

TALIESIN: All right. Let's give it a little scrape against the glass so it picks up a little spark off the head. And--

MARISHA: That's cool.

TALIESIN: That is 23 to hit.

MATT: That definitely hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

LIAM: Is it advantage because they're prone?

MATT: It's a thrown weapon. It's at disadvantage, technically.

LIAM: Disadvantage. Oh, really?

MATT: So actually, roll again.

LIAM: Ah, just fucked it.

AIMEE: I know.

MARISHA: Called out.

LIAM: I just fucked it.

TALIESIN: Better.

MATT: Okay, there you go.

LIAM: Yay.

MATT: It's worth checking, though.

TALIESIN: Yeah, worth checking. That's because I has to get the bonus because I'm raging. That's nine points of damage.

MATT: Nine points of damage. "(groans)"

TALIESIN: And yeah, that, that about does it for me for the moment.

MATT: All righty. Finishing your go, it's now Kiro's turn.

LIAM: Let's go, squire.

MATT: (laughs) The armored figure who just got pulled off the side, (groans) pushes up and starts shouting out to the rest of you, "What is this? They built this for you!" Stands up, and with you there--

UTKARSH: Oh boy.

MATT: Hmm.

EMILY: (nervous hum)

(laughs)

MATT: Is going to go ahead-- All right, I would like both Ashton and Orym to make wisdom saving throws for me, please.

TALIESIN: Oh, goddamn it.

MARISHA: Wisdom saving throw.

LIAM: That's going to be a fail for me. Eight.

MATT: Eight.

TALIESIN: 12?

MATT: Both of those fail.

LIAM: Wait!

TALIESIN: Fuck-- What?

LIAM: I can, because I'm new to this level, I'm going to use Indomitable, and reroll that.

MATT: Okay, go for it.

UTKARSH: Hey!

LIAM: Come on! Mm, that's not much better. That's 11.

UTKARSH: Hey!

MATT: Okay.

AIMEE: (laughs)

MATT: So as Kiro stands up, she reaches up and grabs the holy symbol that is emblazoned and burned into her chest piece of armor, and says, "I asked you to stop!" As she does, the symbol flares up, and both of you feel your muscles (constricting) pull to your side and you instinctually grab your knees and your entire body locks up. You are both held.

AIMEE: What?

MATT: Paralyzed.

EMILY: What?

LIAM: I bend down, and grab my knees, I'm two feet tall.

MATT: Yep.

AIMEE and UTKARSH: (laugh)

LIAM: Somebody punt me in like a--

(laughter)

MARISHA: That was the Flame--

MATT: At which Kiro's going to rush over to the side here and shout, "Open the doors!"

AIMEE: Oh no.

MATT: That's going to finish their turn. That brings us to Deni$e.

AIMEE: Deni$e!

MATT: With Laudna on deck.

AIMEE: Question, how far am I from that big baddie over there at the end?

MATT: Over here?

AIMEE: Yes.

MATT: You are approximately 45, 50 feet.

AIMEE: Well, damn it. Oh, that's okay. I think that's okay, in my math. I would like to Rage.

MATT: Very well.

AIMEE: Then I would like to use my Second Story Work feature--

MATT: Okay.

AIMEE: -- to make a running jump, and it increases my distance by three feet, so that puts me at 38 feet. So can I-- Is that technically in melee range?

MATT: That would be unfortunately a little ways out.

AIMEE: Okay, then--

LIAM: You can use Cunning Action to dash, and to--

MATT: Well, she just used the bonus action to rage, however.

LIAM: To rage. Hmm.

AIMEE: Yeah, that's the problem.

LIAM: You cannot do that, why did you even--

MATT: (laughs)

AIMEE: My gender. Okay, so how about, then can I grab-- I think I'll grab my whip.

MARISHA: Whip.

AIMEE: My whip of warning.

MATT: 30, 35. All righty.

AIMEE: Right? Oh wait, where does that put me?

MATT: That'll put you at about there.

AIMEE: My whip is 10 feet.

MATT: 10 feet.

AIMEE: Is that still--

MATT: Just out of range unfortunately.

AIMEE: Goddamn it! Why am I doing any of this shit?

EMILY: Can she hold her action to attack him when he's--

AIMEE: Yes.

MATT: You could, if you want to. Hold your action.

AIMEE: I would love to. I would love to hold my action.

MATT: Okay.

AIMEE: Thank you.

MATT: So, you dart, leaping off of the pew before stopping stopping.

AIMEE: Yeah.

MATT: Landing right there. Your great sickle out to one side, your whip at the ready.

MATT: You're holding your action to attack.

AIMEE: I'm going to attack as soon as I can. I'd like to get into melee--

MATT: You got it. Perfect, all right--

AIMEE: -- if possible.

MATT: That finishes your turn as you hold your action.

AIMEE: Thank you.

MATT: Laudna, you're up.

MARISHA: All right. I'm going to take my bonus action to transform into my Form of Dread.

MATT: Okay.

UTKARSH: (shudders)

MARISHA: So I start to absorb the foliage and the tree life around me as once again--

UTKARSH: Wow.

MARISHA: -- my veins explode and you start to see branches growing out where veins used to be. I'm going to skitter up to this tree in front of me as much as I can.

MATT: Right here?

MARISHA: I know it's rough terrain. Yeah, just walk forward.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Also, let me roll my d10, see what my temp hit points are.

MATT: So you're climbing up the tree?

MARISHA: Kind of lame. No, just want to move forward in that direction--

MATT: Oh, you're moving.

MARISHA: Towards the tower.

MATT: Towards the tower. So that's five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30 will get you just past the tree, if you want to.

MARISHA: Can I tuck in a little bit in towards the building towards you?

MATT: Yes, you can do it there.

MARISHA: That's good.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: So, I literally skitter upwards as I twitch. My jaw unhinges, and I just go--

MATT: Huh.

MARISHA: (ghastly breath) and a bunch of bees--

EMILY: (laughs)

AIMEE: Oh!

MARISHA: -- come out of my mouth, and they swarm the guy at the top of this tower as I'm going to cast Infestation on him.

MATT: On him.

MARISHA: Correct.

EMILY: Ooh!

MATT: Oh goodness.

AIMEE: Somebody get an EPIPEN!

MATT: Okay.

EMILY: He might be taking a trip.

UTKARSH: That's a lot.

MATT: The guy there with the crossbow is looking down, "We're getting to the door! (shrieks)" He just screams at the sight of you (intense buzzing) out towards him.

MARISHA: (ghastly breath)

MATT: Okay, what's the DC on that?

MARISHA: 16 con.

MATT: 16 con for that fellow there. That is a failure at an eight.

MARISHA: Okay, so he takes five poison damage.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: And--

LIAM: Not the bees, not the bees!

MARISHA: -- he has to move five feet in a random direction.

UTKARSH: Off the top of to the tower.

MATT: Okay, I'll roll this dice here to see where he goes. It's going to be this direction. He turns and runs, "(panicked shrieking)" trying to get the bees off of him. "No, not the bees!" Runs this way and full on tumbles and gets partially wedged into the side of the rooftop there.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: Falls out of view. He will take--

MARISHA: That's acceptable.

MATT: I'll say, additional two damage.

EMILY: (laughs)

MARISHA: That's fine. I was hoping he'd fall into the townspeople so they could have a little piñata session.

MATT: That's true, but--

MARISHA: But that's okay.

MATT: The arrow is pointing that way, unfortunately.

MARISHA: Yeah, it's a victory.

MATT: That's fine. (tumbling clatters). You hear the armor, (clunky clattering), clanking against the roof before it comes to a stop, and "(groans)."

MARISHA: Now he's stuck. Okay, cool. That's my turn.

MATT: Okay. Finishing your go, Laudna. All righty. So, now it is the--

MARISHA: He also has to make a wisdom saving throw or be afraid of me.

MATT: Oh, that's right. Oh, very failed.

MARISHA: Okay, so--

MATT: Very failed, very afraid and frightened.

MARISHA: He's very afraid.

MATT: He's just over there pissing himself on the middle of the roof there.

UTKARSH: That was awesome!

EMILY: (laughs)

UTKARSH: Whoa! Fucking bees!

MATT: Okay, it is now Abaddina's turn.

MARISHA: (laughs) Fucking bees.

MATT: Abaddina steps forward. "You wish the door to be open. Then let us abide."

AIMEE: Yes!

MATT: She reaches her hands out and you can feel the mist beginning to swirl as the energies of the spirits begin to come to the aid of the townspeople.

MATT: The ground begins to rumble, (shifting stone) and you watch as this crack tears open in the center here.

AIMEE: Whoa.

MATT: Stones begin to jut outward, and you watch as a massive, what looks like a boulder, juts out of the center of the floor. Parts of it crack and open as an earth elemental emerges--

AIMEE: Oh! Whoa!

EMILY: Oh!

MATT: -- in the center of the room there.

EMILY: I attack it.

MARISHA: He's on our side, right?

MATT: Go for it. She's going to step forward this way by the side of it. As it emerges, the mists swirl into it, and you watch as it's taking its form. The energies of the spirits and the powers given by the proximity of the ley nexus and the Apogee Solstice, its stones begin to extend into spikes. It grows an additional five or six feet. The magic is enhanced and fed by the ritual that she presents. Now, this massive stone defender sits ready.

UTKARSH: Is it on our team?

MARISHA: For the moment.

AIMEE: We don't know.

EMILY: I think we're already tenuously on a team with Abaddina.

MARISHA: Yeah.

(laughter)

MATT: All right. That's going to finish Abaddina's turn.

UTKARSH: Abaddina.

MATT: Immediately going into--

MARISHA: ♪ Abaddina ba-ding ♪

MATT: -- the Guardian.

EMILY: Guardian, the Guardian.

LIAM: Guardian. Don't step on me.

MATT: With that, the massive Earth Guardian--

(thudding footfalls)

AIMEE: Whoa.

MATT: -- begins rushing forward.

UTKARSH: Go, Rocky!

MATT: With a massive punch of its fist, it hits the doorway as a siege monster, so it does double damage. That definitely hits. So with that--

EMILY: Sick.

TALIESIN: Well, that saves us some time and energy.

EMILY: I love it. Most of my strategy was based around doing this. This is awesome.

MATT: 28 points.

TALIESIN: D&D!

MATT: Yow!

TALIESIN: Fuck your plan!

UTKARSH: Open the doors.

MATT: With one hit, both of the doors--

AIMEE: Whoa!

EMILY: Yeah!

MATT: They open outward, actually.

EMILY: Are they opened or shattered?

AIMEE: They're hurricane proof.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: Yeah, they are blasted open and broken. I'll say for the purposes of this, because they're having a hard time-- There we are.

TALIESIN: There you go.

MATT: I did it! I knew it would be open.

UTKARSH: Nice!

TALIESIN: Hey!

MATT: (doors bust open)

UTKARSH: Best in the biz.

MATT: They splinter open. One of the hinges is broken and chunks of the door fall to one side, it is irreparably damaged at the moment. But with that, the interior of the temple lies exposed. The two of you who are on the inside, as you're rushing by, Deni$e, getting yourself ready, you hear the heavy impact, and you both glance over your shoulder.

EMILY: Ashton?

AIMEE: (inquisitive vocalizing) Is that you?

MATT: You see this massive dark humanoid shape that fills the entirety of the 12-foot tall arch of the central doorway, just looming in, pulling its fist back. It gets two slam attacks. It's going to also slam into Kiro right next to it.

UTKARSH: Ouch.

EMILY: Ooh!

MATT: That's going to be a 20. That hits.

AIMEE: Whoa. Oh boy.

LIAM: Orym is frozen in a tiny yoga chair pose, just watching this happen.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Just your quads are on fire.

LIAM: Uh-huh, uh-huh.

AIMEE: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LIAM: Not yet.

MARISHA: Not yet? (laughs)

MATT: 19 points of damage to Kiro.

LIAM: In two rounds, maybe.

MATT: Which means that Kiro's going to have to make a concentration check. Succeeds with a natural 17, and maintains the Hold Person spell, but now is currently, after trying--

EMILY: Oh, it is a Hold Person spell.

MATT: It is a Hold Person spell. Is looking back at the massive entity that is looming over after pulling the fist back. Is now-- that glance of fear in their eyes, as the natural spirits begin to rise against them.

MARISHA: Probably should have targeted her first.

LIAM: Five punches didn't break her concentration.

MATT: Finishing that, that brings us to--

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Prism, you're up.

AIMEE: (gasps) Yes.

EMILY: Okay. Okay.

TALIESIN: I believe in you. You can do the thing.

AIMEE: "Mother. Mother."

EMILY: Mother! (laughs)

LIAM: (exaggerated) Mother!

TALIESIN: "Mo--" God. come on.

EMILY: Okay, I want to get my buds out of being paralyzed.

AIMEE: Yeah.

EMILY: I've got-- Where is Kiro? She's right there.

MATT: Kiro and the entity are right in the doorway.

EMILY: Okay, okay, okay. Fuck me. You know what? Fuck it. I'm going to play it safe. Let's just do--

LIAM: (uneasy) Mm.

EMILY: I'm going to play it safe and just try-- Well, how much would that even be? I've never used this. You know what? No. Let's fucking go big. I am just going to do a simple Chromatic Orb.

MATT: Okay.

EMILY: Going to use my book to make it force damage. Let's see if god is good. I want this. 23?

MATT: 23 hits.

UTKARSH: Hey!

TALIESIN: Hey!

MATT: Roll damage.

TALIESIN: Thank you!

EMILY: Okay! Okay. Now I'm just going to do math, so if you could just keep a mental tally.

UTKARSH: Okay, I'll try.

MATT: Just hang back for a second, take it in.

TALIESIN: ♪ Math on the stream ♪

AIMEE: ♪ Doo-doo-doo ♪

TALIESIN: ♪ I'm doing math on the stream ♪

UTKARSH: ♪ Math, math, math ♪

EMILY: 19.

UTKARSH: Do those doors open up to here?

MATT: They do.

UTKARSH: Okay, got it.

TALIESIN: All math breaks down.

MARISHA: (laughs) Yeah.

EMILY: 25 force damage.

MATT: 25 force damage.

TALIESIN: Woo!

UTKARSH: Good math.

EMILY: Thank you.

MATT: Fails the concentration check.

MARISHA: Yes!

LIAM: Yes!

EMILY: Yes! It's gone!

AIMEE: Go, Prism!

LIAM: Yes, Miss Prism!

(cheering)

MATT: The Hold Person incantation fails, the Dawnfather's anger subsides its focus on the two of you as you regain the physical capability of movement.

EMILY: Yes! Then I am going to express my own movement by fucking running and hiding.

MATT: Okay.

EMILY: Because I have an AC of 12.

MATT: Fair enough.

EMILY: I want to hide in here.

MATT: Yep, there is--

EMILY: Can I run in?

MATT: You can run here, if you'd like to.

EMILY: Then can I say: Ah, Mother, like ships in the night, go find Deni$e!

TALIESIN: We're literally dressed like a Girl Scout camp counselor.

EMILY: I want to dispatch Deni$e--

AIMEE: (pigeon cooing)

EMILY: -- to... I mean, I dispatch Mother to get as close to Deni$e as possible.

MATT: Raven is--

LIAM: Do the raven sound

MATT: -- a flight speed of 60?

TALIESIN: (eerily good crow noise)

MATT: Flight speed of 60.

AIMEE: Oh, that did it, what was that, a turkey?

TALIESIN: (eerily good crow noise)

EMILY: A raven?

AIMEE: Was that a turkey?

LIAM: (gobbles)

TALIESIN: Yeah, that's a bird.

MARISHA and UTKARSH: (laugh)

TALIESIN: That's right, I do do one of-- I haven't done of those in a while.

LIAM: Oh man, who hasn't met a sidekick turkey?

AIMEE: Yes.

MARISHA: (laughs)

EMILY: (cooing)

AIMEE: (squawking)

MATT: More or less.

EMILY: Hey, I might summon it tomorrow, right?

MATT: (laughs)

EMILY: Don't give me ideas. Flight speed of 50.

MATT: 50, okay.

TALIESIN: Whoa!

AIMEE: Cool.

MATT: Okay, 50, that's five--

EMILY: Then as my bonus action, I'm going to--

MATT: 25, 50 gets you right behind Deni$e.

EMILY: As my bonus action, I'm just going to start moving Dynios in.

MATT: All right.

EMILY: Dynios can move 30 feet. Dynios, come to me, Daddy!

MATT and UTKARSH: (laugh)

MATT: "Please don't ever call me that ever again!"

(laughter)

AIMEE: We just going to call him "Daddy" from now on.

MATT: "I hate it!"

EMILY: Sorry, Deni$e is rubbing off on me!

MATT: "It's disgusting!" "Inappropriate!"

EMILY: (laughs)

MATT: Floats past the little crack between the two fighting entities at the doorway, and enters the chamber.

EMILY: (laughs)

MATT: "Ah, it's too pious in here."

MARISHA: Since he's leather bound, does that make him a leather daddy?

MATT: "Stop it!"

(laughter)

MATT: "I don't want it! I hate it!"

TALIESIN: Oh!

EMILY: Daddy, daddy!

MATT: Does that finish your turn, Prism?

EMILY: Can I just do one last thing, though?

MATT: Yes, please, always.

EMILY: I just want to look at the mural with the god fighting the demon, isn't there a god fighting a demon on a mural in here?

MATT: It is a massive art piece in the back of the chamber, yeah.

EMILY: What does the demon look like that they're fighting? That the god is fighting?

MATT: From what you can see, the figure looks like a massive dual-horned humanoid figure with a deep reddish dark skin. If you want to make a real quick religion check.

EMILY: Yeah, I do, I'll make a quick religion check. I'll keep it quick.

TALIESIN: Perfect world.

EMILY: Ooh!

UTKARSH: Nice.

EMILY: Thank god, it's a 20.

MATT: Natural 20.

AIMEE: It's a nat 20!

EMILY: I'm sorry.

TALIESIN: Whoa!

MATT: No worries, this is definitely a depiction of one of many scuffles between the Dawnfather and the Lord of the Hells.

UTKARSH: Mm.

EMILY: Okay, Lord of the Hells.

TALIESIN: Devil who's--

AIMEE: Lord of the Hells.

EMILY: Okay, that's it. Thank you.

MATT: All righty, finishing your go, that brings us, ah, now the rest of the soldiers get to go.

AIMEE: Oh my gosh.

MATT: This guy back here doesn't see you, so he's not sure where you are. He's going to attempt to climb over onto the top of the temple. Okay, not bad. He's going to move, "(groans)" up onto the top of the temple. Still frightened of you until the end, until your next turn, right?

MARISHA: Correct.

MATT: He's going to, "(screams)." Just run.

(laughter)

MATT: Use the rest of his turn, just run this way, and trying to find another--

AIMEE: I'm frightened!

MATT: -- place in the temple.

LIAM: "I don't like it!"

(laughter)

EMILY: "I don't like it!"

MATT: This soldier here sees all this happening, freaks out, climbs down the ladder.

(oohing)

MATT: Down to the base where you are. You hear the heavy armor (clanking) behind.

MARISHA: Oh dang.

EMILY: Let's get these guys! (laughs)

LIAM: He didn't even--

AIMEE: What? (laughs)

LIAM: -- put it together.

MATT: Doesn't even say anything--

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: -- you just see him, through the helmet, goes "(grunts)" and is going to attempt to attack you.

AIMEE: What? Oh no!

EMILY: (laughs)

MATT: With his longsword twice.

EMILY: (laughs) Oh!

LIAM: Wow, and there it is.

MATT: The first one is, that's going to be a nine to hit.

TALIESIN: Ah!

EMILY: (claps) It misses!

AIMEE: Thank god!

MATT: The next one is a 15.

EMILY: I do a really impressive "Matrix" roll right into his second hit.

(laughter)

EMILY: Oh my god, I can't believe he-- Ow!

MATT: Whack!

AIMEE: Oh no!

MATT: So with that, you do take eight points of slashing damage.

EMILY: Okay, okay.

MATT: So he pulls back with his shield at hand, and, "(pants) Get out of here!"

EMILY: Okay, anything you say! I wink.

(laughter)

MATT: Looks a bit, turns his head, confused, like a dog that just heard something it thinks it recognizes.

AIMEE: (whimpers)

EMILY: (laughs)

MATT: But still keeps the blade at the ready. From there, that guy finishes there. This guy gets back up, sees what's happening behind him, and is going to attempt to move over. Can't get past you.

LIAM: He could run over me, she could run over me if she wanted to.

MATT: Actually, you are a halfling. She's going to do that.

LIAM: Wait, is that guard?

MATT: That is the guard that you first threw into the side of the temple. Leaps over you, growling, and is going to attempt to take two strikes. One at you, and one of the creature, it's going to try and knock it down. So, towards you--

UTKARSH: Bad idea.

MATT: It's a natural 20.

LIAM: Dang!

MARISHA: Silvery Barbs.

EMILY: Yay!

UTKARSH: Barbs.

MATT: That is a 19.

LIAM: Oh, meets it, beats it, that's 19 is my AC.

MATT: 19, all right, you take--

TALIESIN: Better, though.

MATT: 11 points of slashing damage.

MARISHA: You get advantage on your next action.

LIAM: You're the best.

MATT: 11 points of slashing damage, and it is going to try, with the shield, and attempt to shove attack, and knock down the elemental guardian. Oh, that's real bad on his side. That's only going to be a five. Yeah, hits it with the shield, and the Guardian's just, ping! "(growls)" He's "(whimpers)" Pisses his armor a little bit. Finishing his go. Both of these soldiers. This one's going to rush out here.

AIMEE: Oh, good grief.

UTKARSH: Oh, thank god.

MATT: 20, 25, 30.

AIMEE: Oh, fuck me. Oh shit.

MATT: Is going to dash up here.

AIMEE: I'm fucked!

MARISHA: Oh shit.

MATT: Can't do anything there. These both are going to run, five--

MARISHA: Damn, how many guards are there?

LIAM: There's three total.

MATT: Is going to hold an action there. This one over here is going to hold an action there.

UTKARSH: But how many of them drank beer?

MATT: Shields at the ready. They're seeing everyone starting to storm in, and they're trying to hold the line there, while that one that just saw you go darting down the hallway, and just goes in, but that's their action.

MARISHA: Yeah, which ones drank beer?

MATT: Huh? Oh, the ones that drank the beer were the two up here. This one--

EMILY: Oh, so I'm in a--

MATT: This one here.

EMILY: I'm in a enclosed staircase with a man who's going to shit himself?

(laughter)

MATT: It's very possible. It's very possible.

EMILY: I stick my head out that little window.

(laughter)

EMILY: I'm preparing to get air.

MARISHA: Like being in a parking garage in downtown LA.

AIMEE: Oh god.

MATT: So these four here, the one that's running away, that one there, that one there, and this one here have all partaken of the liquid. That's going to finish their go. Now it's Bor'Dor's turn.

ALL: Bor'Dor!

UTKARSH: What do we need the vial of blood for?

TALIESIN: Stuff.

EMILY: It's just if you, you know, if you want to, I don't know, bring, like, an uncontrollable demon into the mix.

UTKARSH: Fuck yeah, where's the--

EMILY: It's not the most pressing.

UTKARSH: Mr. Master, Dungeon Master, sir?

MATT: Yes, yes?

UTKARSH: Where's the nearest guard? The one who's gone to the door to attack the--

MATT: This one right here is the one, the only one that you can see at the moment that's on the outside. Everyone else is either inside, or has gone down between their towers.

UTKARSH: Fuck, okay, I want to get on the horse behind me.

MATT: Okay.

UTKARSH: Then--

MATT: It's technically an ox, but it's a horse miniature, but yeah.

UTKARSH: Oh, that's right, I don't want to ride an ox. I take that back.

MATT: That's okay, no worries. I just didn't have any ox minis, my apologies.

EMILY: Also, Bor'Dor being like, "I don't want to ride an ox."

AIMEE: I will not.

MATT: (laughs) He will not sully himself on this.

EMILY: I may be a sheepherder, but--

UTKARSH: I smack on the ox on the butt, and I say: Be free! Then, do I have to pick up my dagger that I threw last week at the--

MATT: You'd have to move over to pick it up, yeah.

UTKARSH: Where is the dagger at?

MATT: The dagger's about over here, I believe, from where you threw it.

UTKARSH: Okay, I'm going to go get the dagger.

MATT: Okay, five, 10, 15, 20, you pick it up.

UTKARSH: Can I climb up on rock man's back?

MATT: If you want to try that.

UTKARSH: Yeah.

MATT: Go ahead and make an athletics check, if you'd like.

MARISHA: Hell yes.

UTKARSH: Eight and then--

EMILY: You keep getting eights. You're going to start critting soon, I think.

(laughter)

UTKARSH: Where's my--

EMILY: It's a sign.

MARISHA: You're just one strong wind away from it.

TALIESIN: Math is happening.

UTKARSH: Just a breeze. Don't worry. It's happening.

MATT: Your athletics skill. It's happening.

MATT: I believe in you.

UTKARSH: Equipment. Wait, I think I passed it. No, here we go.

MARISHA: There you go, there you go.

LIAM: That's an option that would've gotten you there.

UTKARSH: Eight. It's an eight.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: It's a total of eight?

UTKARSH: (laughs) Yeah, all that for nothing.

MARISHA: All that searching.

MATT and MARISHA: (laughs)

UTKARSH: Eight.

MATT: Okay. You grab on the back of it and you get about two feet up before it swings its arm back and you go (yells) and end up flying back--

UTKARSH: Damn it!

MATT: -- another five feet onto the ground. You get yourself back up and dust yourself off, but you didn't quite grapple onto it.

UTKARSH: Shit. Can I do one more thing?

MATT: You have no more movement. You still have your action because you picked up your dagger as part of--

UTKARSH: I picked up my dagger. Can I turn to the towns folk and say: Storm the gate!

MATT: Yes, you can.

MARISHA: Yes.

EMILY: Yeah. Man of the people.

MATT: All right, so you turn around and shout that to the group and they all go "(battle cry)!" They have their pitchforks, they have their shortswords, they have whatever tools, implements and arms they have at the ready, and they all start rushing in in the direction of the front of the temple. Does that finish your turn?

UTKARSH: Yes.

MATT: Okay.

UTKARSH: Happy to be of help.

EMILY: (laughs)

MATT: Now it's the Judicator's turn.

AIMEE: Oh fuck.

(groaning)

AIMEE: No, now is when it gets bloody.

EMILY: But you have a held action.

AIMEE: Yeah, I do, I do.

MATT: At the end of this temple, getting a closer look, you see this massive figure. The muscles themselves are swollen, they're unnaturally enhanced by magic.

AIMEE: Swole.

MARISHA: He's swole.

MATT: You see a sleeveless robe that goes over the front torso that hangs almost to the ground with all sorts of symbols emblazoned along the sides of it. You see a hood that sits up and you see the metallic mask that sits across the face with no eye holes, no expression, just a swirl of runes and ancient religious texts that are emblazoned into it. Fists covered with metallic bands across the knuckles. This looks like a religious juggernaut if you want to imagine, who (heavy metallic footfalls) steps up towards you in the center of the temple.

AIMEE: Do I get my attack?

MATT: You do, just as they approach.

AIMEE: I'm going to take my sickle and I'm going to go twice, right on the stomach, right where the abdomen is and then do it again.

MATT: Go for it.

AIMEE: So let's roll for that. Oh, that's cocked, that's a caca.

LIAM: That's cocked.

MATT: All right.

AIMEE: That's a cock dud. (laughs) Natural 20!

(cheering)

MATT: That's the way to open it.

AIMEE: Thank you! Thank you very much. What?

MATT: All right, so--

AIMEE: Oh, and now here we go.

EMILY: Since Mother's there, would that count as sneak attack?

AIMEE: 1d8.

EMILY: Because there's a fellow combatant.

MATT: Unfortunately, Mother isn't next to her target.

AIMEE: Okay, that's going to be-- Yeah, I don't get sneak attack, I don't think. But that's 16 damage.

MATT: 16 damage.

LIAM: Did you double the dice?

TALIESIN: Did you double the dice?

LIAM: From the damage roll?

MATT: Because it's a crit.

LIAM: That's what a 20 does.

AIMEE: Oh no, I didn't!

LIAM: You don't roll again.

AIMEE: Oh, I don't roll it--

LIAM: Whatever you rolled, multiply it by two.

AIMEE: Okay, so that's eight plus eight is 16 plus...

TALIESIN: Plus another eight.

AIMEE: Another, so it's 30...

LIAM: So whatever you roll gets doubled, then all the modifier crap gets added onto that.

MATT: Yeah. So it's eight times two.

AIMEE: Eight times two is 16.

MATT: 16 plus eight.

AIMEE: Plus eight. 24.

MATT: So 24. Or 22. 22.

TALIESIN: Do you get an extra die for this or no?

MATT: No, it was eight. 24. My brain.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

AIMEE: I don't know. Do I?

TALIESIN: Maybe not, no.

AIMEE: Okay.

MATT: No, the rage on the other-- That's all you got. But that's one.

TALIESIN: It's different then. Okay. That's right.

MATT: As it rushes up, you carve right across the front. You can see the heavy, sleeveless robe that sits in tears open and there's a massive cut across the chest.

EMILY: Yes, Deni$e!

MATT: It's a heavy impact, but it's just not bleeding as much as you think it should.

AIMEE: Oh, for fuck's sake.

LIAM: Do it again, get another 20.

AIMEE: Okay, here we go, here we go.

LIAM: Get another 20.

EMILY: Ooh, another 20.

AIMEE: Aw, that's an eight. No! Plus eight, 18.

LIAM: The mystical number.

MATT: 18?

AIMEE: 18, right? I add this?

MARISHA: Lucky eights.

EMILY: Just one strong gust away.

LIAM: For which weapon are you using? Yes.

AIMEE: Yeah, 18. Is that it?

MATT: Okay, 18 just misses.

(groaning)

MATT: It doesn't miss, it strikes, but as soon as it gets nearby, you can see there's a flash of some of the runic enchantments that are placed within its vestments. As it flashes, its arm just catches the sickle mid-strike and holds it there. You hear this low (rumbling).

AIMEE: Question.

MATT: Yes.

AIMEE: Do I have Thunderous Blows technically?

MATT: You do, if you wanted to push it away on that first strike.

AIMEE: I would've loved to have done that, I'm sorry, can we rewind?

MATT: That's okay.

AIMEE: I'm sorry! Could I push him away five feet?

MATT: You could.

AIMEE: Away from me.

MATT: But then would you have moved in afterward?

AIMEE: No, wouldn't it be after my first one that moved him away?

MATT: Yeah, you moved him away and then you would either step in to do your second attack, which you said you wanted to do.

AIMEE: I did say that, didn't I?

MATT: You did.

TALIESIN: Except you wouldn't have been able to move, because it's a reaction.

LIAM: She's out of movement, too.

MATT: Which one?

TALIESIN: Except she wouldn't have been able to move because it's a reaction.

EMILY: Oh, because it was a held turn, yeah.

AIMEE: So I can't do that?

MATT: So yeah. So no.

AIMEE: Okay, we'll keep it as is, I suppose, until my next--

MATT: Yep, because this was your reaction.

EMILY: It's okay, Deni$e. You'll get him next time.

MATT: It's all good, we learn as we go.

AIMEE: Yes, thank you.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: Barbarians, man.

MATT: So it takes the strike, almost doesn't flinch from it, and is now going to make three power strikes on you.

MARISHA: Oh!

LIAM: Does the Judicator have Dawn Papa--

AIMEE: Fuck that.

LIAM: -- tattooed on his fingers?

MATT: It does. (laughs)

LIAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: Dawn Papa. (laughs)

MATT: Dawn Daddy, specifically.

MARISHA: Dawn--

TALIESIN: P-A-P-A, yeah.

AIMEE: Dawn Daddy.

EMILY: With the thumb in there.

AIMEE: Dawn Daddy.

LIAM: That's why I went with Papa.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Dawn Papa.

MATT: Okay, so first strike is going to be 27 to hit.

AIMEE: What are power strikes? Yeah. Fuck yeah, that hits.

MATT: All right, so you take eight points of bludgeoning damage and eight points of force damage.

AIMEE: Aye ¡Coño!

LIAM: (laughs)

MATT: It punches you like a battering ram, and as you do--

TALIESIN: For these two--

MATT: -- these runes across the middle of the metal band that sits on across the knuckles flashes and you almost get knocked down to one knee.

AIMEE: Okay.

MATT: It's going to use its bonus action to Smite you.

AIMEE: Half.

MATT: I need you to make a constitution saving throw for me please.

TALIESIN: Is force damage halved or just bludgeoning damage?

MATT: Just the bludgeoning damage.

TALIESIN: Okay.

AIMEE: So then what do I do? So I take 16 total?

MATT: So it would be a total of 12.

AIMEE: 12, okay. And then, sorry, what did you say just now?

MATT: I need you to make a constitution saving throw as it is Smiting you with a bonus action.

AIMEE: (nervous bumbling)

EMILY: Okay, okay.

LIAM: Plus that eight.

AIMEE: Okay, here we go.

EMILY: Okay.

AIMEE: Oh, what's that?

EMILY: Am I within 60 feet?

LIAM: 16 plus eight.

AIMEE: 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24. 24.

MATT: You are, you're within 50 feet of her. 24?

AIMEE: Yeah.

MATT: All right, yeah. So on that one--

MARISHA: ♪ Math on the stream ♪

MATT: As it goes to Smite towards you, the impact hits, but you manage to shrug off at the last minute as the secondary burst of radiant energy cracks the ground where you would've been standing. Second strike against you.

LIAM: Oh jeez.

EMILY: Second strike? That was the first one?

AIMEE: He's getting three.

MATT: Yep. 18 to hit?

AIMEE: Yes, it just hits.

MATT: Just hits. That's another 10 points of bludgeoning damage, reduced to five.

AIMEE: Great.

MATT: And another seven points of force damage from the second strike.

TALIESIN: So that's 12.

AIMEE: That's 12.

MATT: Third attack. That's going to be a 22 to hit.

LIAM: Ugh.

AIMEE: Yes, it hits.

MATT: That is 11 points of bludgeoning damage reduced to five.

AIMEE: Yep.

MATT: And two points of force damage from its third hit.

AIMEE: Ay-yi-yi.

LIAM: Ooh.

AIMEE: Oye.

TALIESIN: That's a lot.

AIMEE: Somebody come help me.

MARISHA and LIAM: (laugh)

UTKARSH: Yeah, we're coming.

TALIESIN: Yep, yep.

AIMEE: (laughs)

MATT: Because it hit you with all three of its power strikes--

EMILY: Oh, you're good. You're a barbarian.

MATT: -- it's going to use Condemnation.

LIAM and TALIESIN: No!

AIMEE: Oh, great.

EMILY: Is that a spell? No.

MATT: So make another constitution saving throw for me.

LIAM: No!

TALIESIN: I believe in you.

LIAM: She's got high con.

AIMEE: Nine.

LIAM: It's a one.

TALIESIN: Plus?

LIAM: It's a natural one.

AIMEE: Yeah, it's a natural one.

TALIESIN: Fuck.

AIMEE: Does that mean I get to roll again?

UTKARSH: Yay!

(laughter)

MATT: So (heavy pows) the third hit is an upper cut each one of them flashing with each impact. The third one sends you up in the air. The rest of you hear an echo in the chamber. "(grunts)" The painful impact of the wind leaving your lungs. You get blown in an arc.

LIAM: Upper cut.

AIMEE: Woo!

MATT: You barely get back up just as you feel the symbols, the radiant runes that are parts of the armor all of sudden burn into your shoulders and your arms won't move. You're paralyzed until the end of your next turn.

EMILY: No!

AIMEE: Nice!

LIAM: Oh no!

MARISHA: Oh no!

TALIESIN: Oh boy.

LIAM: Until when?

UTKARSH: I like how free he was about that.

TALIESIN: End of the next turn.

MATT: Yep. End of his next turn.

LIAM: Oh my goodness.

AIMEE: End of his next turn?

MATT: Yes.

AIMEE: Oh no!

LIAM: Oh my goodness.

MATT: All righty.

EMILY: Just for future reference, was something like that a spell? Or is that an arcane ability?

MATT: That is a faith-based divine magic enchantment.

EMILY: Enchantment, okay.

AIMEE: Great.

UTKARSH: Obviously.

EMILY: Can't do much about an enchantment.

MATT: Now it's the civilians' turn. So now the civilians--

AIMEE: I'm rendered useless.

MATT: -- go ahead and charge up.

LIAM: ♪ Do you hear the people sing ♪

MATT: They can't really get much into the doorway, but they start too--

LIAM: ♪ Singing the song ♪

MATT, AIMEE, and LIAM: ♪ Of angry men ♪

UTKARSH: Go, go, go.

LIAM: Let's go.

UTKARSH: ♪ ("Seven Nation Army") ♪

MATT: They all begin to rush up angrily.

UTKARSH and MARISHA: ♪ ("Seven Nation Army") ♪

UTKARSH: Ope, can't clear it.

MATT: They can't quite get through, but they're starting to clog up the front.

UTKARSH: Yay!

MARISHA: Oh great, crowd crush. They're just going to die from crowd--

AIMEE: Bottleneck.

UTKARSH: Climb through the windows!

MATT: They all start charging forward, shouting. The start throwing pots and whatever they have and brought along with them at--

UTKARSH: This isn't what I meant!

MATT: -- the guard over here as well as Kiro. We'll say at this point, five of them get thrown weapon shots at Kiro. Miss. Hit.

UTKARSH: Yes.

MATT: Miss.

UTKARSH: Damn.

MATT: Miss.

UTKARSH: No!

MATT: And hit.

UTKARSH: Not bad, guys.

EMILY: Aw, that's so cute, good job! Did Chad hit or miss?

MARISHA: They're literally six inches in front of you.

MATT: Oh, Chad totally hit. That's going to be eight points of bludgeoning damage to Kiro from there.

EMILY: Chad hit.

MATT: Then towards the other guard, it's three attacks. Miss, miss, and miss.

UTKARSH: Chad!

MATT: But they're all still swarming in and trying, shouting and yelling and pulling out their massive metal-backed hoes and tridents and other sort of implements they can utilize to try and push through. That finishes the civilians go, top of the round, Orym, you're up.

LIAM: Okay. Orym's going to dart forward away from the crowd, under the guard's legs.

MATT: Okay.

UTKARSH: Love it.

LIAM: Because I'm so small. Then I could go from that square that the guards in, I could go diagonally one to the right and not get hit by the guard because I'm still adjacent to them.

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: And stop there.

MATT: It would technically be inside the elemental's space, unfortunately.

LIAM: Huh? Oh, okay.

TALIESIN: Mm.

MATT: So if you were to go this way, you're still in their space.

LIAM: Okay, I'm going to risk getting hit by the guard and move in front of Kiro.

MATT: You got it. All right. So that puts you right inside there. The guard's going to swipe at you once as you move past between the legs. That's going to be a 17 to hit.

LIAM: Misses.

MATT: Goes and strikes the ground with the sword right as you dart past.

LIAM: I step on and riposte and hit the guard with my reaction.

MATT: Great.

LIAM: That is low. Maybe I'll luck out. That is a 15 to hit?

MATT: 15 does not hit.

LIAM: Does not hit. Then I start to attack Kiros.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: So I've gotten in front of Kiros, right?

MATT: You have, yes.

LIAM: Okay. Two attacks and I'm going to try to make this a goading attack and I'm going to slash at her holy-- I'm trying to hit her, but I'm going to hit in the area of her holy symbol.

MATT: You got it.

LIAM: To try to insult and cut it off.

MATT: Go for it.

LIAM: That is a 22 to hit.

MATT: 22 hits.

UTKARSH: Bang.

LIAM: So that is...

EMILY: Bang.

LIAM: Three plus six is nine and it is plus 10 for the superiority die. 13 total, and she has to beat a wisdom, which she's probably pretty good at.

MATT: Okay, wisdom 15.

LIAM: 15, against my 17.

MATT: A failure.

LIAM: So she's at disadvantage against everyone but me. Also, the previous attack on the soldier should have been at advantage because of what Laudna gave me.

MATT: Correct, so roll again for that.

LIAM: So we'll retcon that.

MARISHA: Correct.

LIAM: That second one is a 19 to hit.

MATT: 19 does hit. So roll damage on that soldier that you did hit anyway.

LIAM: That fool took 12 points of damage.

MATT: 12 points of damage, you got it.

UTKARSH: Ha ha! How do you want to do it?

LIAM and MARISHA: (laugh)

LAURA: So that was reaction riposte to the guard, then my first attack, which successfully goaded her and I will do another-- Nope, I'll just do a basic attack. So that is a 21 to hit.

MATT: 21 to hit, that hits.

LIAM: That's eight more points of damage.

MATT: Eight more points of damage. Oof! Getting struck, you see her eyes going a bit wild. She's looking a little hurt. She's looking a little hurt, and you see that look of trying to figure out a math problem on her face.

LIAM: From my low angle, I'm holding Seedling up towards her chest, blocking the way.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Making a sandwich between me and the earth elemental.

MATT: You got it.

LIAM: Done.

MATT: Okay. Finishing your go, Ashton, you're up.

TALIESIN: Well. Well, well, well, well, well. Here we go. First of all, I'm going to try and head into the crowd so I can take a shot at that soldier who's being a dick. I'm going to try and use some of my Earth Walk ability to cut through the crowd and get a little launch off of that earth elemental there so I can take a shot at that soldier.

MATT: Okay, so you're trying to--

MARISHA: So you can do it in an action and a bonus action.

MATT: Trying to rush through the crowd there and--

TALIESIN: Get here.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: See if I can hit him from there.

MATT: Okay, got it. So you are leaping up onto the earth elemental?

MATT: Yeah.

MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make an athletics check for me.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: Athletics or acrobatics on this one.

UTKARSH: You can do it!

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LIAM: Put your back into it!

UTKARSH: Can I use athletics or acrobatics?

MATT: I'll say it's not too crazy, you're just jumping and trying to get onto it. So you have advantage because you're raging.

TALIESIN: Oh, thank you, that's right. That's a thing. Yeah, it's a 20.

MATT: Without issue, you leap onto its shoulder, which gives you a position in which you can attack either of them.

UTKARSH: What's it like up there?

MATT: You can either stay on the shoulder or you could leap off into one of the unoccupied spaces. For proximity, because it'll be a little easier to see here, I'll remove this.

UTKARSH: Oh, great.

TALIESIN: There's no way for me to get advantage attacking him from there is there?

MATT: Unfortunately, no.

TALIESIN: I would have to be where that soldier is, right?

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Okay, I'm going to attack the soldier.

MATT: Okay, go for it.

UTKARSH: Oh!

TALIESIN: He has disadvantage on me regardless. So disadvantage regardless, so he would just have a normal attack against me. Yeah, just making some decisions.

MATT: Do it, do it.

TALIESIN: Oh, I get a d4 against this anyway, so yeah. I'm just going to go for it, going for an attack.

LIAM: (whispers) Yeah, we're fucked.

TALIESIN: Yeah, that's like 23 to hit.

MATT: 23 hits.

TALIESIN: All right.

AIMEE: (whispers) I think it was me or--

TALIESIN: That's 18 points of damage to the soldier.

MATT: 18 points to the soldier. As you leap off the shoulder, take the hammer down, and full-on Gallagher splat onto the top of it. The armor and helmet get shunted into the torso as they (gurgles) and crumple to the ground.

LIAM: There's the blood.

UTKARSH and AIMEE: Yeah!

TALIESIN: I land right in there.

AIMEE: All right.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: That was a little hop, take a step, knock him down.

MARISHA: Please.

AIMEE: Get in the thimble.

UTKARSH: Is there blood on the ground?

EMILY: (laughs)

MATT: None that you can see at the moment.

TALIESIN: There's armor full of blood. So.

AIMEE: Can we collect it?

EMILY: Oh yeah, just take the cod piece.

LIAM: Just grab the helmet.

MARISHA: Just grab the helmet, yeah.

TALIESIN: I'm going to take a shot at our friend over there now that I have advantage on this motherfucker.

UTKARSH: Wow.

TALIESIN: Here we go. Yeah, that's... I rolled this instead of the fun one. 15, 16, 17, 18, yeah, that's like 20.

MATT: That hits, roll damage.

TALIESIN: All right.

MARISHA: So, barbarians can't get extra attacks as their bonus action.

TALIESIN: 12 points of damage.

MATT: 12 points of damage, all righty.

TALIESIN: Just as another's batting him in the back while he's staring at you.

MATT: Slams into the stone wall and catches it off the shoulder, which hits both the wall and her at the same time. Not taking as much damage as you would've hoped, but definitely taking the hit.

TALIESIN: You're so fucked!

(laughter)

UTKARSH: Good job! How'd you get up on that rock?

TALIESIN: Yeah, that's what I got.

MATT: Okay, finishing your turn, that brings us to Kiro's turn. Kiro, looking at the situation here, frustratedly is going to leap past you taking an attack of opportunity from you.

EMILY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Is that an advantage attack of opportunity?

MATT: No, without.

TALIESIN: Boo. Come on, yeah, that's nice. That's 22 to hit.

MATT: 22 to hit, hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

UTKARSH: She's not going to make it.

MATT: We'll see.

TALIESIN: 12, boo.

MATT: 12 points of damage. "(grunts)" Takes the hit past. Goes rushing past you, also gets an attack of opportunity from you.

LIAM: I used my reaction to riposte.

MATT: You did indeed.

LIAM: So that's squandered.

MATT: So continues to charge out past the book.

EMILY: Dynios, be strong.

AIMEE: Daddy!

MATT: 25, 30.

LIAM: I love that we have Dynios and Deni$e.

MATT: She'd probably be off to this side.

AIMEE: Orym.

MATT: Looking in-pain and rushing in, grasps the symbol and begins to speak out loud. Echoing throughout the interior of the temple. "Dawnfather! Protect us!"

MARISHA: No.

MATT: You watch as she puts her hand up, this shaft of light seems to apparate from the center of the chamber without any real source to it.

MARISHA: I don't like it!

MATT: As it comes down, it opens up this little portal of gleaming sunlight in the middle of the ground, and emerging from within...

MARISHA: Oh, fuck no!

EMILY: Can I Counterspell it?

MARISHA: Yes!

EMILY: I'm literally right here.

MATT: You are within the chamber, you do not have sight on her, unfortunately.

EMILY: I'm not peeking through here?

MATT: Through here, you don't see her, unfortunately. When you went to hide, you got out of eyesight. That's okay. But a Guardian of Faith lands and there you see there is this spectral version of one of the soldiers you've seen, larger and where the helmet would be, there is a glowing star in the visage of the Dawnfather there. Shield on one side, massive, radiant, glowing sword in the other. Immaterial and made of pure burning sunlight. That's going to finish Kiro's turn.

EMILY: Hehe, I hate this.

LIAM: Got to get over here to see it front on.

MATT: Deni$e, you're up.

AIMEE: Well, what can I do?

MATT: What can you do?

AIMEE: (angry mumbling) Fuck you!

(laughter)

AIMEE: She's just cussing at him. This motherfucker! I mean, can I do anything? Can I try to get deparalyzed or is there anything to do at this point or just wait it out.

MATT: No, that's it, I'm sorry.

LIAM: No!

MATT: That's it.

UTKARSH: Can she sleep standing up? Can she take a short rest?

MATT: (laughs)

AIMEE: I guess I'll just be like...

(angry mumbling)

TALIESIN: Oh shit, oh shit.

MATT: You try and get up again, and the runes flash again and you're like (groans). It's just holding you there.

AIMEE: Just cursing him out while paralyzed in her brain.

LIAM: It's bad.

AIMEE: No, it's bad, it's bad, it's bad, it's bad, she's dead.

MATT: All right, finishing Deni$e's go, Laudna, you're up.

MARISHA: All right, this is-- It doesn't sound good inside and it looks like shit outside. So I'm going to cast Spider Climb on myself and I'm going to skitter up this tower, the one that I'm next to, and go in through the window to get inside.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Little shortcut.

MATT: Indeed, you emerge about there, which gives you perspective right there, which is five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. You do have some perspective now through that entryway into the center here, so you do see Deni$e, you do see the soldier, you see the very edge, though with half cover, the Judicator there. As well as the glowing light and radiance of the Guardian just to the left.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

LIAM: Take her out.

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: Sorry, for the table, take out Kiros to get rid of the spirit guardian.

EMILY: Yeah, yeah.

LIAM: She's already hurt.

MARISHA: I don't have eyes on Kiros.

LIAM: Yeah, you don't, so I'm just putting it in the air.

EMILY: Yeah. I want to do that, but I'm also worried about Deni$e being paralyzed.

LIAM: Everything's fucked. It's fuckerdly.

EMILY: I might focus on that.

MARISHA: Deni$e is-- Oh, but we can't.

TALIESIN: We go all out, we got people.

MARISHA: Your paralyzation--

AIMEE: Do you have Lesser Restoration?

MARISHA: No.

EMILY: I have.

AIMEE: No, it's fine.

MARISHA: It's not my thing.

LIAM: Sorry, guys, we have zero clerics.

MARISHA: I'm assuming that's not a concentration spell, with the Judicator.

UTKARSH: No.

MARISHA: Okay, hang on. So I'm going to--

TALIESIN: Distract the Judicator.

MARISHA: Quicken a spell.

MATT: Okay.

UTKARSH: Nice.

MARISHA: I guess. Also, can we say that Laudna is still stuck, spider climb stuck to the side of the wall with her head peeking through, so that I'm not a nice, beautiful target. But I'm going to peek my head in and I'm going to fire two Eldritch Blasts at the Judicator, I guess.

MATT: Go for it.

UTKARSH: Wow.

MARISHA: I guess. Okay, so that first one-- Ermahgerd. That first one is going to be 23 to hit.

MATT: 23 hits.

MARISHA: The next one is going to be an 18 to hit, which I think just misses.

MATT: 18 just misses.

MARISHA: That's their AC.

MATT: The first one hits, like (thudding) and they pull back a little bit. The second one, they reach out and grab the bolt, and crush it as it lands, just (electrical pulsing) in the middle of the air.

MARISHA: I rolled horrible damage! Five damage.

MATT: Five damage to the Judicator.

UTKARSH: Guys, this is rough.

MARISHA: I guess that's it. I guess that's all I got for right now, but I'm inside.

UTKARSH: That was great.

EMILY: Stay strong.

MATT: All right, now it is Elder Abaddina's go, followed by the Earth Guardian.

UTKARSH: Abaddina Applebaum.

MATT: Abaddina moves through the crowd, stepping beyond, right behind you, Ashton, and goes, "Hurry, finish it as soon as we can." She's going to reach out her hand and she's going to go ahead and-- She's going to cast Blight on Kiro.

MARISHA: Nice.

AIMEE: Yes!

TALIESIN and AIMEE: Yes!

EMILY: Okay!

MATT: Kiro fails the constitution saving throw.

TALIESIN: Yes!

AIMEE: Great! Oh my god.

EMILY: Dry her up!

AIMEE: Abaddina. Save us!

LIAM: That's bad for her.

TALIESIN: Should have brought your water bottle.

EMILY: Dry her up!

MARISHA: Dry her up, baby.

TALIESIN: It's a real mean spell.

UTKARSH: What?

UTKARSH: Bor'Dor's like: What does that mean?

LIAM: Neutrogena can't do anything about it, it's strong.

MATT: You watch as Abaddina reaches out and says, "Give back what you've taken." As she curls her fingers inward, you watch as the mists that come out of the nearby forest begin to emerge from her eyes, and as it does, you watch as this singular line, like a small spider's thread of black (whooshes, latches) affixes to Kiro, and then she pulls on it and as she does, you watch all the skin (sucking) suck in--

AIMEE: Oh shit.

MATT: Any sort of moisture in the body is rapidly removed from Kiro, who "(gasping)" falls gasping for breath on the ground. Alive, but definitely having a hard time.

EMILY: Bor'Dor, is that how you make your jerky?

(laughter)

UTKARSH: Hey. That's my technique.

TALIESIN: Alive? Fuck.

AIMEE: Damn.

MATT: All right.

UTKARSH: Whoa.

MATT: Kiro responds to this, saying, "Their grace is a gift, you ungrateful boors will burn your salvation in arrogance!"

AIMEE: Rude.

EMILY: Did she make her concentration check?

MATT: That spell does not require concentration.

EMILY: Oh.

AIMEE: This motherfucker doesn't require concentration?

TALIESIN: Wait a minute.

EMILY: Bummer.

TALIESIN: That might mean that it doesn't go away when-- Well, we'll sign. We'll find out.

MATT: Well, with that, that's going to finish--

LIAM: Dead pally might change things.

MATT: -- Abaddina's turn, which leaves now the Earth Guardian, who leaps, steps over you.

(thudding)

AIMEE: Oh, thank god.

UTKARSH: Cool, cool. What's up?

MATT: Steps into this space here--

UTKARSH: Got a huge undercarriage.

MATT: -- nearly swatting the book out of the way, who's like, "Oh, Jesus!"

(laughter)

MATT: "Who's that?" With that--

AIMEE: Rock daddy.

MATT: The Guardian of Faith immediately brings the sword up as it approaches and seems to draw it to the ground, not as an attack, but pointing to where the Earth Guardian stands and another shaft of light (bolt thudding) strikes into it, doing 20 radiant damage immediately to the Earth Guardian.

AIMEE: Whoa!

LIAM: Let them fight.

EMILY: That's actually really rad.

MATT: Now the Earth Guardian's going to go ahead and-- Hmm. No, you know what? It's glaring at this, but looking around at the surroundings, it's going to slam its fist into the ground. (thudding) As it does, the whole ground (rumbling) quakes. The marble and stone floors of the inside (stone cracking) shatter and crack, as these massive stone pillars suddenly begin to rise up out of the ground as it uses Guardian Pillars on the inside of the chamber.

TALIESIN: There's a cream for that.

EMILY: Oh, I don't hate that.

UTKARSH: What do those do?

AIMEE: We need the help.

EMILY: It says--

LIAM: It's stone columns.

AIMEE: Are they animate?

LIAM: Yeah, just rock going (whooshing).

AIMEE: Oh, but do they do anything, or no?

LIAM: I don't think so.

TALIESIN: They're just--

MATT: Two come up underneath these guys here, who both (yelling).

MARISHA: Smash them?

MATT: Who have to make dexterity saving throws to try and avoid it. That is going to be a failure.

AIMEE: Nice.

MATT: And a natural one. They both "(yelling)." Get knocked off of the side and fall prone, taking a little bit of bludgeoning damage from the strikes. Both of them take seven points of bludgeoning damage.

MARISHA: Right in the gut, which prompts their poops.

(laughter)

AIMEE: The poop comes out of the stomach instead.

(retches)

UTKARSH: (retches)

(high-pitched squeak)

MATT: They both fall prone to the side, but each one of these stones rises, and the Earth Guardian rumbles its low voice in a language that nobody here I believe understands. Except for maybe you, you speak Terran?

TALIESIN: I do not. Marquesian and Primordial.

MATT: Ah.

AIMEE: Ooh.

MATT: Although, Primordial, I guess, would probably be the closest scenario to it.

TALIESIN: Yeah, yeah.

MATT: The best you pick up from it, the gist of the conversation from this entity is, "Stand near for protection."

AIMEE: Okay.

MARISHA: Near the Earth Guardian?

AIMEE: You got it, baby.

MATT: You're not sure what it's referring to.

AIMEE: I can't, I'm--

MATT: That's going to finish that's action there, bringing us now to Prism's turn.

EMILY: Okay. I'm looking at the situation and I don't want this guy to get attacks on-- So she's going to be paralyzed 'til the end of this guy's turn?

MATT: Next turn, yeah.

EMILY: Okay. If I were to hypothetically Enlarge Mother, would she be big enough to carry Deni$e into the sky?

MATT: You can certainly try.

EMILY: She could try?

AIMEE: She's only 4'2", baby.

EMILY: Oh, it feels like too much of a gamble.

MATT: It's up to you.

EMILY: Do you have little rulers like Brennan does?

MATT: Oh, you mean--

AIMEE: Little rollers.

MATT: Little rulers?

EMILY: Yeah.

MATT: Like this?

AIMEE: Oh!

EMILY: Yeah, yeah. Can I see one of those?

MATT: Sure, sure.

AIMEE: What's that?

EMILY: I'm trying to get a feel for--

LIAM: How far a spell can reach.

AIMEE: Oh! Whoa!

EMILY: -- what kind of range of-- So I guess I'm asking, it would look like I could really only hit only-- Could I hit this guy and this guy and this guy with a Fireball?

MATT: Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

MARISHA: Fireball!

MATT: The challenge is where you're going to place it.

EMILY: Yeah, I think I'll place it here and then try and hit these three.

MATT: Okay.

EMILY: Fuck. It feels like too much of a gamble to Enlarge Mother and have her pick you up into the sky. (laughs)

TALIESIN: As long as you're not going to hit anybody else.

EMILY: I don't think I'm going to, because I'm not going to hit Laudna.

UTKARSH: She's dead already.

EMILY: I focus it around here. Orym, you're not here, are you?

TALIESIN: Very flammable.

MARISHA: I was going to say dead bodies.

AIMEE: He's right on the other side. You see him?

MATT: So that would be the size of the Fireball.

EMILY: That's the size of a fireball?!

MATT: That's a fireball.

UTKARSH: That's incredible!

EMILY: No, I could maybe--

UTKARSH: Do it!

EMILY: Can I do it so that I edge out and I get-- Wow, that's a big Fireball! I didn't know it was this big!

MATT: In order to hit Kiro, you're either going to hit yourself in the radius, or you're going to hit Laudna, because it does go around corners.

EMILY: Oh, what if I shadow elf step to here--

MATT: You could certainly try.

EMILY: Or shadow elf step to right behind this pillar.

MATT: You can do that.

EMILY: So then I would be out of the way, and then could I basically do it-- Fuck it, can I get this guy in on the action? Do you want to get Fireballed?

MATT: In order to hit him, you'd probably hit the--

EMILY: Yeah, okay, so I'll do this then.

MATT: Right there?

EMILY: Yeah.

AIMEE: You better be careful.

MATT: So you go ahead and--

TALIESIN: Hot.

EMILY: I'm going to do-- I'm going to do-- I'm saving my 4th-levels for Counterspells. Let's keep it classic, and I'm going to make it force damage.

MATT: You got it. Okay. So with the person who's behind you, the guard has already struck at you twice. He's bearing down on you, getting ready to unleash another round.

EMILY: I'm like: You're right. Look, this tryst has been wonderful, but you're right, I should get out of here. And then I just disappear.

(laughter)

MATT: "The fuck?"

EMILY: Matron of Ravens!

MATT: You appear in the next turn next to the stone pillar, and you unleash the Fireball. Go ahead and roll your damage.

EMILY: Okay, okay.

TALIESIN: Oh boy.

EMILY: Do you have any d6s?

UTKARSH: I don't know what they are, but here.

LIAM: The cubes.

EMILY: Come on, gorgeous. Oh my god, I rolled really poorly. (laughs)

UTKARSH: No.

EMILY: Okay, that's nine for the first half.

UTKARSH: Good job. Stay positive.

EMILY: Oh my god, I rolled poorly again. Nine, 20, 22 damage.

MATT: 22 damage, all right. So the guard that's on the ground over there, on prone, so it's disadvantage on its dexterity save. That's a failure, so it's 22 to him.

UTKARSH: Dude.

AIMEE: Who's prone?

UTKARSH: The fire guy.

MATT: That guy there. And the guy on the left hand side, at disadvantage as well because he's prone. That is still an 18.

EMILY: That saves.

MATT: Okay, so he takes half damage, he takes 11 there. That's minus 12 and 22. (explosion) It explodes in the center, the pillars rock and shake, the inside of the entire temple seems to amplify the echo of the explosion as everyone instinctually ducks for a second, seeing the flash of light from the inside. As the flames subside, both the soldiers on the ground go "Ugh!" They're looking really, really hurt. The one on the right more than the one on the left. This one's barely holding on, the one that's closest to you. The strange, spectral guardian seems unfazed.

EMILY: Unfazed by force damage?

MATT: Unfazed by any damage at all, it would seem.

EMILY: I made it force.

MATT: You made it force.

EMILY: I made it force because of my book--

MATT: Indeed.

EMILY: But it was unfazed by force damage.

MATT: Sure. However, as you take this in for a second, you feel a tickle under your lungs, like there's something about the surrounding energy that empowers you a bit, and you sense that the proximity to this pillar next to you is in some way, shape, or form protecting you.

AIMEE: Yes!

MARISHA: Oh, the pillars.

EMILY: I hug the pillar.

(laughs)

AIMEE: "Hello, pillar!"

EMILY: Save me! Save me!

UTKARSH: (laughs)

MATT: Okay, that finish your turn?

EMILY: Yes, that's my turn.

MATT: All right, it's now the soldiers' go.

AIMEE: Here we go.

MARISHA: Okay, great.

AIMEE: Well, at least they're--

EMILY: I'm not hiding in a way, I would like to have line of sight on her, line of sight on-- I want to have line of sight on her and him.

MATT: Probably right about there is what you want.

EMILY: Yeah.

MATT: All righty. Failed save. Failed save. (laughs) Failed save, this guy's no longer frightened of you, right?

UTKARSH: No.

MATT: Okay.

UTKARSH: I don't know.

AIMEE: (laughs)

MATT: All the soldiers, all of a sudden at once go like,

(groaning)

AIMEE: Poopy time!

(cheering)

EMILY: Glad I got out of that staircase.

MATT: There's this low grunt, as they all begin to shit their armor.

UTKARSH: Prolapse, you took too long!

EMILY: Is it heavy armor? It takes 10 minutes to doff that.

MATT: It does.

AIMEE: Oh god!

MARISHA: Eugh!

MATT: That's a little rough here.

TALIESIN: No more hiding, sneak attack for them.

LIAM: It takes a minute to get that snowsuit off.

MARISHA: 100%.

(laughs)

AIMEE: 10, apparently.

MATT: All right, so pulling all of these forward.

MARISHA: 10 minutes.

UTKARSH: Burn! Burn!

MARISHA: Where's a squire when you need one? (laughs)

MATT: All of--

LIAM: Hot and spicy.

MATT: All of the soldiers that are currently visible are considered poisoned.

AIMEE: Yes!

TALIESIN: Yeah!

AIMEE: Nice job!

EMILY: No, you can say they're covered in shit.

LIAM: Terrible diarrhea.

EMILY: You can say it.

MATT: They are poisoned and covered in-- Well, not covered, filled.

(groaning)

MATT: Filled, they are--

EMILY: Like bile Go-Gurt.

(laughter)

MATT: Yes.

(laughter)

LIAM: (thudding)

AIMEE: "I don't like it."

UTKARSH and LIAM: (whirring)

MARISHA: It's got a little bit of reverb on it.

MATT: Yeah, it's like dropping a handful of pennies in a bucket. It's like (rattling)

AIMEE: Oh my god!

LIAM: Making sound effects into your coffee mug.

MATT: Yeah.

AIMEE: Oh my god.

MATT: They are poisoned, this one is going to move over this way. He's going to climb down somewhere. You're uncertain where he is at the moment.

MARISHA: He's just dealing with his shame.

MATT: He's just somewhere.

MARISHA: Also Matt, the Judicator was also supposed to roll a wisdom saving throw from my fear.

MATT: For your fear?

MARISHA: He'll probably be okay.

MATT: Oh yeah, he rolled natural 19, he's fine.

MARISHA: Okay, I figured as much.

AIMEE: I'm right next to one of the pillars, Matt, don't forget.

MATT: Oh, and he's immune to being frightened, so no worries.

MARISHA: He's immune to being frightened.

MATT: You are next to one of the pillars.

AIMEE: I'm next to one of them!

TALIESIN: He does get to do shit.

MATT: This soldier's going to "(groans)" move over towards this way.

AIMEE: Shits on me.

MATT: He's going to try and cut off your exit, to cut you off on this side. This guy's going to get back up. Feeling a little rough. This guy, too. He's going to turn around, seeing the source of the Fireball, and is going to move over past the side here to cut you off.

EMILY: I keep walking around the pillar as he tries to find me.

MATT: "No, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

UTKARSH: That's funny!

(laughs)

MATT: This guy's going to move forward here.

UTKARSH: "Can't see me!"

MATT: He can't get into the room to where you are, and you do have half cover from the side there, but he can still try and strike you. This guy's going to go out after where he thinks you went, sees what's happening--

AIMEE: "Hey, where'd you go?"

MATT: He's going to run around to catch you here.

EMILY: Hey, take a hint.

MARISHA: This is a poopy guard.

EMILY: I said it's not going to happen, guy.

AIMEE: It's not going to happen.

MATT: Is going to get here, to try and get on both sides of you. So two attacks against you on that side. With disadvantage because he's poisoned. That's going to be a 14 to hit.

MARISHA: 14 just hits.

MARISHA: But you have plus two to your AC because you have half--

MARISHA: Oh, so miss.

MATT: So 16 misses.

MARISHA: Miss.

MATT: Second attack against you-- Oh, natural one, misses.

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: He's like "(grunts)," trying to swing at you with the sword, he drops his shield to the ground and is clutching his abdomen with the other and is like, "Oh no, not again!" The one that's turned behind you, he's trying so hard to stay stoic, but he's walking with that tight sort of walk.

AIMEE: Oh no!

(laughter)

AIMEE: Is there such thing as stink damage?

(laughter)

MATT: You may get there. Natural one, and a 16 to hit.

AIMEE: It misses!

UTKARSH: Wow!

MATT: He's like-- (grunts) Both go wide, no impact. Attacking you because they do have you pincered, they get advantage on the attack, but they're poisoned, so it's only a straight roll each.

EMILY: Wow.

MATT: So two attacks on you.

EMILY: Immediately pincered.

LIAM: About an ounce comes out on every swing.

AIMEE and MATT: Oh god!

(laughter)

MATT: 15 to hit.

EMILY: It hits.

MATT: Okay, and then same thing, 15 to hit.

EMILY: Hits.

MATT: Okay.

EMILY: So I do have resistance to all damage until the start of my next turn.

MATT: That's good to know.

UTKARSH: Oh, okay, okay.

LIAM: Handy.

MATT: So the first attack is going to be 10 points of slashing damage reduced to five.

EMILY: Yeah!

MATT: The next one is going to be six points reduced to three.

EMILY: Yeah!

TALIESIN: Could've been worse.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Could've been a lot worse.

MARISHA: Decided to save my reaction, so that's not too bad.

TALIESIN: No, no, no, no, no, I mean, we got a lot of problems.

TALIESIN and EMILY: We got a lot of problems.

MATT: All right, so finishing with that go, Bor'Dor, you're up.

MARISHA: Bor'Dor!

EMILY: Bor'Dor!

TALIESIN: Oh, you're up.

UTKARSH: Yeah, I'm there. Can I get from where I am to right in front of this lady? The sun lady?

MATT: Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30 will get you right into the cusp right next to where Kiro is.

UTKARSH: Okay, and I'm behind her right?

MATT: As you as you step in, I need you to make a dexterity saving throw for me, please.

UTKARSH: Mother of Pearl!

EMILY: (laughs)

UTKARSH: 16.

MARISHA: Oh, that's not too bad.

EMILY: That's good!

TALIESIN: How close is Bor'Dor to me, by the way?

MATT: Hmm?

TALIESIN: How close would he be to me?

MATT: Right now, he would be 25, 30 feet from you.

TALIESIN: Okay, 25 feet. Never mind.

MARISHA: There you go, yeah.

EMILY: Dex save, plus four.

UTKARSH: 20.

MATT: 20? Oh yeah. So as the massive spectral entity tries to call down another shaft of light to burn you, you duck out of the way as it (thuds) hits the ground. No impact, you step back into the area. Now what are you doing for your turn?

UTKARSH: It's good. Well, that worked out well. I'm going to take my crossbow. Wait, what do I want to do first? If this all works out well, I have a dagger and a crossbow. I'd like the dagger-- Is her back facing me?

MATT: Her back is facing you, yeah.

UTKARSH: Well, I'd like to stab her right in the neck.

MATT: In the neck? Okay.

UTKARSH: Then I also want to shoot her with the crossbow at the same time. I'm wondering what's--

EMILY: (laughs)

UTKARSH: I'd probably shoot her in the back with the crossbow.

AIMEE: Oh, dirty.

MATT: Okay.

UTKARSH: Then I'd stab her in the neck.

MATT: Okay.

AIMEE: Dirty!

LIAM: This farmer's going feral!

MATT: So we'll say you'll probably want to shoot the crossbow while approaching because if you're right up next to her, it's disadvantage. So roll an attack with the crossbow as you're stepping into the-- Right as you dodge out of the blast of the guardian, you step back in.

UTKARSH: I'm going to use Luck and go again.

MATT: Go for it.

EMILY: Okay!

LIAM: My man.

UTKARSH: 20.

EMILY: Yeah!

(cheering)

MATT: Natural 20 on that. All right, so go ahead and--

EMILY: You've been circling around a 20.

MATT: Hell yeah.

MARISHA: You get to double that damage.

LIAM: I'm sorry, Sam Riegel is wrong.

MARISHA: Lucky--

LIAM: He's just wrong.

MARISHA: Yeah, Lucky's great.

LIAM: Fight me in the parking lot.

UTKARSH: This is eight, right?

MATT: There you go, yeah.

MARISHA: Also, a lucky sheep herder makes total sense.

EMILY: That's cocked.

TALIESIN: That one's cocked, you get to roll it again.

UTKARSH: It's a seven! Let's keep it!

MATT: Well, sure, seven, so it's 14. I'll allow it. So it's 14 plus--

UTKARSH: Wait no, but there's-- It's this, 12. Wait, what do I do?

MATT: Well, you double the amount, because you crit.

EMILY: Oh, I had him roll 2d8.

MATT: Oh, gotcha, gotcha. That works fine, too.

EMILY: Maybe you guys do it different here.

MATT: Okay. We usually roll one dice and then multiply by two, but we can do that, too.

UTKARSH: Tell me what's going on, tell me what he said. It's a 12.

MATT: You got it. So it's 12.

EMILY: Plus three.

MATT: Plus three.

EMILY: 15 damage.

UTKARSH: 15.

MATT: 15 damage? Okay.

EMILY: Pow, pow, pow.

AIMEE: Pow, pow, pow, pow!

MATT: Okay, so you shoot. "(grunts)" Takes the hit and falls down. She's almost doubled over. As you approach and step into the space, attack with your dagger.

UTKARSH: Dagger is--

EMILY: Just roll another d20.

MARISHA: A d4.

UTKARSH: d4?

MARISHA: d4 damage, sorry.

MATT: Yeah, but roll to hit first.

EMILY: Yeah.

UTKARSH: Oh god, oh god.

MATT: There you go.

UTKARSH: 20.

MARISHA: Oh fuck yes!

MATT: Two in a row, holy shit!

EMILY: I told you! A gust of wind away!

UTKARSH: It's so stressful.

MATT: The guests are bringing it.

AIMEE: Fucking called it!

UTKARSH: This is so stressful, guys.

MATT: All right, so roll your d4.

UTKARSH: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Then double that number and add your-- So that's four damage plus--

UTKARSH: Four plus three, seven.

MATT: Seven points of damage.

LIAM: That's what all your eights went to.

EMILY: (laughs)

MARISHA: Uh-huh.

MATT: How do you want to do this?

(cheering)

TALIESIN: Oh my god!

UTKARSH: I want to hold up-- I don't have a vial. I guess a palm, hold up my palm so that the blood pours into my hand like this and I want to start vomiting.

LIAM: Is this what you need?

(laughter)

EMILY: Just try not to mix the vomit with the blood because spells are really particular.

UTKARSH: Oh. Like this.

MATT: So after stabbing the blade in the back of the neck, a gout of blood pours out and you capture it. Kiro tries to staunch the flow, but it's a rapid descent into darkness, as she stumbles forward a few feet.

UTKARSH: Oh my god. Oh my god.

MATT: Mutters a prayer under her lips before collapsing onto the ground.

LIAM: Where is her god now?

AIMEE: Thoughts and prayers.

EMILY: What happens to her freaking sun creature?

UTKARSH: Oh, "Where is your god now?" I hear Orym say that and I go: Fuck, I should've said that.

(laughter)

EMILY: You know, you could have said: Dawnfather? More like Gone-father.

(laughter)

MATT: That's pretty good.

EMILY: You can have that one.

UTKARSH: That's so good.

(laughter)

UTKARSH: No, I'm just vomiting.

(laughter)

MATT: This is a lot of violence. Okay, does that finish your turn, Bor'Dor? Action, bonus, and movement.

UTKARSH: Yes, finished.

MATT: All right. So now it is the Judicator's turn.

AIMEE: Ah, fuck!

(groaning)

AIMEE: Here we go!

EMILY: Oh my freaking god.

TALIESIN: Rage is still up, technically.

AIMEE: Rage is still up.

EMILY: Because you're taking damage.

TALIESIN: Because you took damage.

AIMEE: I sure did.

MATT: It walks forward.

AIMEE: Here we go.

MATT: Seeing you over on the the side of this pillar, doesn't even look towards you, just walks aside, and it's going to make a heavy haymaker swing towards you there.

AIMEE: (frustrated bumbling)

MARISHA: Oh god.

MATT: It does have advantage because you are paralyzed.

AIMEE: Fuck. But I only take half?

MATT: You might for some of it.

EMILY: You are still raged.

MATT: So that's going to be a 23 to hit.

AIMEE: Yeah, it hits.

MATT: All right, that is 10 points of bludgeoning damage, reduced to five.

AIMEE: Sure.

MATT: Then three points of force damage.

AIMEE: Okay.

MATT: The haymaker swing goes wide and then the other fist comes into the side--

AIMEE: Ay-yi-yi.

MATT: -- and slams you into the pillar if it hits, which with advantage, it's a crit.

AIMEE: (groans)

LIAM: No!

MATT: That's a 20.

MARISHA: Silvery Barbs.

AIMEE: Thank you!

EMILY: Yes!

UTKARSH: Good idea.

MARISHA: Thanks, Laudna.

MARISHA: All the shadows come crushing down on top of it.

TALIESIN: Fuck that. Fuck that, I see exactly what--

MATT: Hold on.

TALIESIN: Goddamn. Hold on.

MATT: Let me look at the word for Silvery Barbs.

AIMEE: Shit.

MATT: Must roll and use the lower roll. So that's a two. That's a miss.

TALIESIN: Whoa!

UTKARSH: Woo hoo hoo!

AIMEE: Thank you!

MATT: So as it goes for the second punch to try and slam you into the pillar, there's this sudden flash of dark, silvery energy that just deflects the fist off the side and it hits the pillar, cracking the stone, bits of it falling onto the ground, missing you by a centimeter.

AIMEE: Not much.

MARISHA: You see that flash reverse and suck into you just a little bit, and you have advantage on whatever your next attack or saving throw you want.

UTKARSH: Wow.

AIMEE: Okay.

LIAM: "Ring" girl in full effect.

MARISHA: Yeah.

AIMEE: Okay.

MATT: After this happens, glances over and clocks you, Laudna, over there.

AIMEE: Damn it.

(laughter)

MATT: While still staring at you, pulls up a fist for a final--

AIMEE: Oh no.

MATT: -- punch down onto your head.

AIMEE: (groaning) Oh!

MATT: With advantage. That's going to be 17 to hit.

LIAM: No.

AIMEE: No.

UTKARSH: Yes!

AIMEE: Doesn't hit!

MARISHA: Yes!

MATT: So as the fist comes down for the next swing, you barely start getting your movement back and pull out of the way as it slams into the ground. You feel the large section of the floor marble that's already partially cracked give in as the impact actually leaves a small crater in the ground.

AIMEE: Whew!

MATT: (slam)

AIMEE: That would've fucking sucked.

MATT: Goes and kicks over this pew, shattering it and continues to step forward a bit.

MARISHA: Oh wait, he's walking away?

AIMEE: I can't hit him, right?

MATT: He's not walked fully away, he's there within you, stepping into the chamber a bit and clocking at everyone else who's present. That's going to finish his turn. You are no longer paralyzed.

AIMEE: Thank god.

EMILY: Yeah!

TALIESIN: What's this guy's movement been for the last-- Has it been slow, or--?

MATT: He's just been walking.

TALIESIN: All right.

MARISHA: Yeah.

UTKARSH: Unencumbered.

MARISHA: He's doing the Mike Myers slow and steady thing.

UTKARSH: Yes.

TALIESIN: All right, all right.

MARISHA: Very Terminator.

MATT: Finishing his go, it's now the civilians' turn. Many of them start rushing in.

UTKARSH: Oh no. They're going to get torched.

MATT: Shouting--

UTKARSH: Fuck!

MATT: Behind the... Behind the elemental.

UTKARSH: Oh no.

TALIESIN: None of them are going to be anywhere near me, are they? Nope. Nope. Shit.

MATT: They're all just swarming in.

UTKARSH: I led them to their death.

MATT: Past you.

TALIESIN: They were going in with or without you.

MATT: The first two that come charging in, they begin to move past the elemental on the side, charging in. (battle cry) Weapons out.

UTKARSH: Nope.

MATT: Fails a dexterity save.

UTKARSH: Yep.

MATT: And fails a dexterity save.

UTKARSH: Fuck.

MATT: Two columns-- (crashing masonry) Both of them burst into radiant flame. They scream out as their skin blackens and cracks, and they both tumble to the ground, charred, no longer living bodies just curled on the ground.

UTKARSH: Was one of them Chad?

MARISHA: Yeah, was Chad in there?

AIMEE: No, Chad!

MATT: No, Chad's fine.

AIMEE: Chad's always fine.

MATT: Chad was nearby. Chad's like, "Oh fuck," and pulls back a bit.

UTKARSH: Run, Chad, run!

MATT: With that, the guardian vanishes.

EMILY: Vanishes?

LIAM: Oh?

EMILY: Wait, if that was casting a spell, if that was casting Invisibility, I'm going to Counterspell it.

MATT: Hmm?

EMILY: Was it casting a spell?

MATT: You just watch it dissipate.

EMILY: Goddamn. All right.

MARISHA: Was that the one responsible for the beams?

MATT: It seemed to be, yes.

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: Whoa.

MATT: That brings us to the top of the round. Orym, you're up.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: With Ashton on deck.

LIAM: I'm going to climb on the table because I can't see. If I take a step forward as Orym, is my first step on this square?

MATT: No, you need to take-- It would be four steps will get you there.

LIAM: Aw man. Okay.

MATT: Four squares. So that's 20 feet.

LIAM: All right. So--

TALIESIN: Okay. Okay.

LIAM: So this is my fourth bit of movement right here?

MATT: Yeah, that's your 20 feet right there.

LIAM: Okay. So then I'll go five, I'll go forward another one, five, then diagonally which will go six.

MATT: Okay. That's put you right about there, tucked alongside the wall on the outskirts of the tower.

LIAM: Yeah, then I'm going to use my action to-- I can't see here.

MATT: I know

LIAM: I'm going to--

EMILY: Oh wow, look at that.

MATT: There you go.

LIAM: Okay, so I will go five, 10, 15, 20, 25 through his legs, 30 to here.

MATT: So you're dashing?

UTKARSH: (laughs) Whee!

LIAM: Yes.

MATT: Scooting through, skidding to the other side.

LIAM: I will then use Bait and Switch, and I will grab Prism's sash and spin her backwards and trade places with her.

AIMEE: Whoa.

EMILY: (laughs) She will have an additional eight points on your AC until the end of my next turn. You know magic, right?

EMILY: Yeah!

LIAM: Make with the magic!

EMILY: Okay!

LIAM: That's the end of my turn.

EMILY: Prism blushes.

MATT: Great.

(laughter)

UTKARSH: I should have given you the blood on the way.

AIMEE: Yeah.

MATT: All right, finishes your go, Orym. Ashton, You're up.

MARISHA: Here, cup your--

TALIESIN: I'm running full speed into this bloody place.

UTKARSH: Open your mouth!

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Coming in on the left-hand side.

MATT: 20, 25, 30, 35, 40 is your movement?

EMILY: Wow, that was so sick.

TALIESIN: 40 is my movement.

MATT: That puts you right there, just past the Earth Guardian.

TALIESIN: Nothing for me to hit at the moment, I assume?

MATT: Nope, you have a soldier to the immediate right, and you have a number of soldiers to your left. Then towards the center of the chamber, there is a soldier and a Judicator that is currently now looking at Laudna as it's stepping away.

EMILY: Mm-mm.

MARISHA: (groaning) Yeah.

TALIESIN: Okay, I can't do anything about that right now that I can think of, but I'll find out how far he can move. You're okay for now.

MARISHA: I'm all right for now.

TALIESIN: I'm going to spend a little more movement getting into combat with those two little soldiers who are bothering all my friends over there.

MATT: Over here?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MARISHA: "No more bothering all of my friends."

MATT: Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40 can get you there if you want to.

TALIESIN: Yeah, that's fine.

MATT: Vaulting over and getting into the fray.

TALIESIN: Yeah, do I have advantage on any of those motherfu-- Oh, I can get that later, that'll be fine. Yeah, I'm into it.

MATT: At the moment, you do not.

TALIESIN: I'm fine.

MATT: Unless-- Actually if you wanted to get here, back-to-back, you can go ahead.

TALIESIN: As long as both of them are within 10 feet of me.

MATT: No, the other one's 15 feet.

TALIESIN: Okay, then I'll go back to where that was.

MATT: Okay, you got it.

TALIESIN: Actually if there's that corner, so I can get Deni$e also within 10 feet of me.

MATT: To do that, you can get-- Here you get Deni$e within 10 feet and Orym within 10 feet, but only two of these guys here within 10 feet as well, and the Judicator. Do you want that?

TALIESIN: Yeah, it's only friends I need within 10 feet.

MATT: Okay, then yeah, you get both Orym and Deni$e within 10 feet by standing there.

TALIESIN: Okay, that'll do for now, I think.

MATT: Okay. Finishing Ashton's go. Deni$e, you're up, with Laudna on deck.

AIMEE: Okay.

AIMEE: So I'm going to turn around to this guy that's pooping himself.

MATT: Yep.

AIMEE: He's within melee, I assume.

MATT: Oh, very much so.

AIMEE: I'm still raging, right?

MATT: Yeah, because you've been hit multiple times.

AIMEE: It never dropped. Okay, great. So then I'm going to take my sickle and I'm going to-- He's heavily armored, right?

MATT: He's pretty armored.

AIMEE: Can I find that one little exposed part of the neck and (blade slashes) with my sickle once?

MATT: Yeah, go for it.

TALIESIN: Oh boy.

AIMEE: Oh, is that cocked?

LIAM: It's cocked.

AIMEE: Okay, sorry.

EMILY: Aw.

AIMEE: So close. Oh fuck, it's a natural one.

EMILY: Are you kidding me? This is the same dice, too.

MATT: Aw.

AIMEE: Damn it.

MARISHA: Oh wait, you still have advantage--

AIMEE: I have advantage.

MARISHA: -- on a thing!

AIMEE: Fuck this dice.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

AIMEE: All right, here we go. Oh, not much, but--

LIAM: Plus?

AIMEE: That's a 16.

UTKARSH: Much better.

AIMEE: Does a 16 hit this motherfucker?

MATT: 16, unfortunately, does not hit.

AIMEE: Okay.

MATT: He is heavily armored.

AIMEE: Well, I can do it again, right? Because I have two strikes.

MATT: That was the first attack, yeah.

AIMEE: That was the first attack, so I'll try again.

MATT: Okay, this one does not have an advantage, though. It's just a single roll.

AIMEE: Yes.

MARISHA: Will my-- Oh wait, you're right, yeah, yeah.

AIMEE: 15 doesn't, 15.

(groaning)

MATT: Unfortunately, as you're shaking off the runes, they're sparking off your shoulders from the impacts and the bludgeons you've taken from the Judicator, you're still a little woozy and you go wide, streaking off its armor

TALIESIN: How bad do you look right now?

MARISHA: Wouldn't you have advantage from sneak attack?

LIAM: Okay.

MARISHA: Because I was talking about it from Silvery Barbs.

MATT: No, I know.

MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay.

MATT: You still have your bonus action, if you want to whip.

TALIESIN: Oh.

LIAM: She's still pretty good.

AIMEE: Okay, I think that's all I can-- Well I guess I could use my whip, if I don't want to move, so what would I do with my whip for him?

MATT: It's up to you. You can sneak attack with your whip, too, if you do hit something, because it is a finesse weapon.

AIMEE: He's not prone, right?

MATT: Nope.

AIMEE: Okay, so I suppose I could just, with my whip, try to go around its neck, pull him down.

MATT: Okay, the soldier that's in front of you?

AIMEE: Yes.

MATT: Go for it, roll for an attack.

AIMEE: Okay, 22.

TALIESIN: Oh shit, I totally forgot.

AIMEE: No, sorry, not a 22.

TALIESIN: I could've been adding a d4 to all of these fucking attacks.

AIMEE: I could've?

TALIESIN: I could've.

AIMEE: Oh. It's going to be 21.

MATT: 21 hits.

AIMEE: Okay, great.

TALIESIN: Remember that.

MATT: You add a d4 to the...

TALIESIN: All the attacks.

MATT: Because of your radius?

TALIESIN: All the attacks, and all the saves of anybody within 10 feet of me.

LIAM: It was on the cusp with them.

MATT: So yeah. Then roll for both of those.

AIMEE: Eight, nine, 10.

MATT: Roll again.

AIMEE: 10 points of--

TALIESIN: That one was four.

MATT: 10 points of damage on the whip.

AIMEE: Yeah.

TALIESIN: And two.

MATT: On the soldier, all righty.

LIAM: So the first hit turned into a 19, and the second one turned into an 18.

MATT: Right, so both of those do hit. So in the realm of this--

MARISHA: Oh right, because of his--

MATT: In this one timeline of probability--

TALIESIN: (rewinding tape)

MATT: -- you missed the two strikes and hit with the whip, and then the proximity of you towards the strange, oddly dunamantic energy that is operating--

TALIESIN: Rainbow sparkles!

MATT: -- out from the side of his head, the timeline reverses and you have additional focus as you try again, striking both of your first two attacks.

AIMEE: Fabulous.

(cheering)

TALIESIN: Welcome to a better timeline!

AIMEE: Much better timeline. Okay, so a d8 plus eight.

MATT: That's what Ashton does!

AIMEE: 11 points of slashing, I guess.

MATT: Yeah.

AIMEE: Oh, and then 16 points.

LIAM: Yeah.

AIMEE: Wow.

MATT: 16 points on that.

LIAM: ♪ Rewind ♪

MATT: So he's doubling over, you slice him, wrap the whip around his neck, pull him forward and he's like-- (crunching) his neck snaps and he crumbles to the ground.

AIMEE: Yes!

EMILY: Yeah!

AIMEE: All right! Thank you.

TALIESIN: (laughs)

UTKARSH: Oh my gosh, we're murderers.

LIAM: Doodymancy!

TALIESIN: Dunamancy!

EMILY: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Doodymancy.

MATT: All righty. You have your movement, if you'd like to go anywhere. There is the Judicator still in melee with you.

AIMEE: Oh, he's still in melee? I think I'm going to wait and see if he gets out of my melee and then do an attack of opportune.

MATT: Okay, okay. All right, that finishes your go then, Deni$e.

AIMEE: Is that good?

TALIESIN: Yeah?

MATT: Laudna, you're up.

TALIESIN: I don't know.

LIAM: I think it's good.

TALIESIN: Seems good.

MARISHA: So as the Judicator turns and looks at Laudna, she has this moment of fear. The compartmentalization that she's been maintaining over the past day and a half starts to crack and everything starts to flash from seeing the gallows, taking her back to her time at Whitestone, being in this small, creepy town being oppressed by an outside force, seeing these zealots attempting to completely overrun this town. She starts to revert and go internal and think about Delilah again, this force that she's pushed out for a long time. As she twitches and starts to crack, in her brain, she remembers the hounds, the undead hounds of the Briarwoods, and her ribcage fractures and opens, and from the black darkness of her soul, a Hound of Ill Omen sprouts forth.

MATT: "(howling)"

AIMEE: Oh shit!

TALIESIN: Good doggy.

MARISHA: As she starts to cry, black tears start to run down her face in her Form of Dread. She just goes: Sic 'em. She sics him on the Judicator.

MATT: Anywhere within 30 feet?

MARISHA: I can summon him within 30 feet, yeah.

MATT: Okay. So you want him in front?

MARISHA: I want him... Where did the other guy go?

MATT: This guy just got slaughtered.

UTKARSH: He's dead.

MARISHA: That guy just got slaughtered.

UTKARSH: He got his neck broke.

MARISHA: Right. Okay. Yeah, he bursts forth out of my chest, and you see he runs through the pews and he stops. He ends his turn, I guess right here.

MATT: You got it.

UTKARSH: Wrecking the pews. "(ferocious snarling)"

MARISHA: He technically has his own initiative, or should he just go on mine?

MATT: We'll just go at the end of yours, make it easy.

MARISHA: Yeah, okay, that's what I was thinking as well.

TALIESIN: This is good for saves.

EMILY: Yeah.

MARISHA: So with that, the dark tears streaming from Laudna's face as she's having just a really stressful time. The shadows push from her fingertips and she's going to cast Bane on the Judicator, this guard, and this fucker in front of me.

UTKARSH: What's Bane do?

EMILY: Harder for them to hit, harder for them to save.

LIAM: (Bane voice) Oh, just you watch.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: A negative Liam.

MATT: You're concentrating on that.

MARISHA: Yes, so now--

TALIESIN: Bane's a great little spell.

MATT: Okay.

UTKARSH: Fun. Oh.

TALIESIN: Damn.

UTKARSH: She needs a hug.

MARISHA: Okay, actually, you know what? There's another guard over here, right?

MATT: Yep.

MARISHA: This guy? I'm going to cast Bane at--

MATT: 2nd-level?

MARISHA: 2nd-level.

MATT: To get him as well?

MARISHA: So I can get him as well, why not?

MATT: All the guards that you can see.

LIAM: Horrifically beautiful, or beautifully horrific.

MARISHA: A little bit of both.

TALIESIN: I love it all.

EMILY: The black tears, beautiful.

MARISHA: Then my Hound of Ill Omen snaps at this guy's feet and he is going to attack with his bite attack. Natural 20.

(cheering)

TALIESIN: Whoa!

MATT: Well, that hits, roll damage for the Judicator.

MARISHA: Come on, big money. Okay. 10 plus, so 13 piercing damage to the Judicator, and he has to make a strength saving throw or be knocked prone.

MATT: Got you.

MARISHA: Which I'm sure he's going to be fine.

MATT: That is an 18.

MARISHA: He's fine.

MATT: Okay, so bites, grabs onto the knee and kicks it off.

LIAM: (robotically) "Every day is leg day."

(laughter)

AIMEE: Yeah, it is leg day.

MARISHA: Then I think, can my hound move?

MATT: You summoned it, so yeah, I think it could still move, if it wants.

TALIESIN: I mean, it's fun where it is right now, but yeah.

MARISHA: New ability.

MATT: Who dis?

MARISHA: I do want--

TALIESIN: We fine over with us right now.

MARISHA: I want him to, because you guys get advantage when flanked and stuff like that, right?

TALIESIN: Yeah, but we're fine. We have three people on two soldiers, they're all going to be gone by next round and you just Bane'd them.

MARISHA: Can I just have him go to back here?

MATT: Sure.

MARISHA: He just crosses through him, this spectral undead hound.

MATT: (snarling)

TALIESIN: Does he count as a creature, by the way, or no?

MATT: Technically, yeah.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah.

MARISHA: Oh yeah, does he get advantage on shit?

MATT: Within 10 feet.

TALIESIN: Once I'm in range, yeah.

MATT: You rolled a natural 20, so it doesn't matter.

MARISHA: Oh, no, for sure. All right, and then I'll take my movement to tuck back up against the wall.

MATT: So you do that, the soldier does get an attack of opportunity on you, as you move away, sweeping wide. It does have Bane on it.

MARISHA: That's okay.

MATT: You get plus two to your AC because of half cover as you move away, so-- Natural 20. That d20 has been one of my favorite. So even with the penalty, it still comes to a 24 to hit.

MARISHA: Mirror Image.

MATT: That's right.

MARISHA: I'm good. One of your images vanish as the blade strikes through, and one of the shimmering Laudna images dissipates. He goes, "Shit!"

MARISHA: Correct, that's my turn.

MATT: All righty.

UTKARSH: Whoa.

MATT: All right, finishing your turn.

LIAM: It's a pretty good turn.

MATT: It is now going to be Abaddina's turn. Abaddina now begins to step in closer, walks past you to the body of Kiro and goes, "Take them prisoner, do not kill them!"

UTKARSH: Aw shit.

EMILY: Oh.

MARISHA: The guards? Abaddina says that?

MATT: Abaddina says that.

MARISHA: Oh, well--

EMILY: Oh.

TALIESIN: Little late now.

MARISHA: She should've clarified that.

EMILY: We had a whole meeting.

MARISHA: 100%!

EMILY: We had a whole meeting. This could've come up. This really could've come up.

MATT: But you watch, she goes, "(sighs) Then so it must be."

EMILY: (laughs)

MARISHA: Hmm.

MATT: Frustratedly mutters under her breath.

EMILY: What about that big Judicator? You want him prisoner?

MARISHA: Yeah?

MATT: (laughs) I don't think she realized the Judicator was there until now, and glanced up in that direction. Is going to use another Blight on him in a second. Only one. The Judicator has advantage on the save. Yes.

TALIESIN: It could've run.

MATT: Very much saves.

UTKARSH: Oh.

MATT: That's true.

TALIESIN: Could've run.

MATT: But it's going to take half damage on the Blight.

LIAM: He could've not stabbed some of us a bunch.

TALIESIN: Yeah. I don't take kindly to that. Whoa.

MATT: Ooh. That's a nasty roll.

TALIESIN: That sounded like a lot.

MATT: It's 45 points of corruption damage, reduced in half because it saved, so 22 points to the Judicator.

TALIESIN: Woo!

MATT: You watch as she throws that thread out once more and it sticks onto the now partially exposed chest of the Judicator with the gash that's torn open in the front of its robe. As it begins to settle in and you see the black veins separate, the Judicator just flexes angrily. The runes on the side of the armor glow and the thread snaps between the two of them, and she goes, "Ah," steps back, stepping aside to let the Guardian pass.

TALIESIN: Oh, did take the Judicator take the negative four for the Bane on that save?

MATT: Oh yeah, you're right.

TALIESIN: Hey! I remembered a rule.

MARISHA: Caduceus is here.

MATT: That's a minus three, which brings it to a 17, I think. No, 16. So yeah, still just barely makes it, but good looking out.

TALIESIN: I remembered.

MATT: But good looking out.

MARISHA: And what was that for?

MATT: That was for the Blight that Abaddina cast.

TALIESIN: Blight 2: Electric Boogaloo.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: Is going to step back to the side here to get out of the way. You can see her looking nervously about.

UTKARSH: Then Bor'Dor goes: Well, who killed her? Yuh, jeez!

(laughter)

AIMEE: What a mess!

EMILY: I think it was some in-fighting amongst the guards, if I saw.

MATT: The Earth Guardian steps in and is going to make a slam attack against the soldier to its right.

UTKARSH: Oh boy!

MATT: Natural 20, Jesus Christ!

AIMEE: Jeez Louise!

UTKARSH: Yay!

MATT: This is nuts!

EMILY: Okay, so I'm not the only one having unusual luck.

TALIESIN: Good, get it out now.

MATT: No, apparently. This is-- Oh, yeah, yeah. This is against that guard.

AIMEE: You got a magnet?

EMILY: (laughs)

MARISHA: Come on.

MATT: That is--

TALIESIN: Where's that other d4? I want to try that out.

MATT: 24.

TALIESIN: It's super fancy. Well, for a d4.

MATT: Plus...

LIAM: These are the two moons.

MATT: Where is it?

TALIESIN: Where'd I put it?

LIAM: The red moon is--

MATT: 30 points. The guard that just tried to strike you turns around and goes, "Ah!" Goes to run, and the Guardian grabs him as it's moving forward and slams him into the side of the stone exterior of the tower. You, hiding on the inside, watch the wall crack and dust settle as the guy crumples to the ground, unconscious.

UTKARSH: Poor guy. That's rough.

MATT: He continues to, now without his muscle control, leak into his armor.

(groaning)

AIMEE: Oh boy.

EMILY: Oh. It's the blood and the shit.

MATT: It's going to continue stepping forward.

AIMEE: Yeah.

MARISHA: Ugh.

AIMEE: Don't touch your face.

MARISHA: Yeah.

AIMEE: Whatever you do.

EMILY: We're going to get pink eye--

AIMEE: We all get pink eye.

EMILY: -- if we're not careful!

(laughter)

UTKARSH: Pink eye.

EMILY: Okay? That's the real danger of this battle.

AIMEE: Yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs)

MATT: 30 is going to get here, which then puts it within its 10-foot melee range with the Judicator, and it's going to come out with its other arm a massive battering ram.

LIAM: (Kool-Aid Man) "Oh yeah!"

AIMEE: Yeah!

MARISHA: Come on.

MATT: Punch forward.

TALIESIN: With a d4!

EMILY: Okay.

MATT: With a d4?

TALIESIN: 10 feet with me.

MATT: Oh, that's within you, yeah. That's totally right. All righty.

AIMEE: Love the rainbow sparkles.

MATT: That's going to be--

TALIESIN: Rainbow sparkles.

MATT: -- 12 plus 10, 22 hits.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LIAM: Coming in like the Kool-Aid Man.

MATT: Indeed.

TALIESIN: (Kool-Aid Man) "Oh yeah."

MATT: All right. 21 points of bludgeoning damage to the Judicator.

TALIESIN: Ooh!

EMILY: Okay.

AIMEE: Oh god, finally, dude.

MATT: With a big, heavy (boomf), the Judicator slides back about almost five feet, skidding, holding its ground before it stops.

AIMEE: Oh, wait. Does that mean I get an attack?

MATT: No.

TALIESIN: No.

MATT: It does not get-- It was pushed.

AIMEE: Dang it!

MATT: But good looking out.

UTKARSH: Good question.

AIMEE: Dang it!

MATT: Good looking out.

AIMEE: I was waiting for it.

MATT: That's going to end the Earth Guardian's attack. That brings us to-- Hmm. At this point, where Kiro has fallen, blood pooled out in the middle of the temple. The soldiers are looking about nervously. The top of the temple begins to glow.

AIMEE: Oh shit.

UTKARSH: No fucking way.

MATT: A light begins to fill and permeate the interior of the area, and a voice seems to echo from above.

MARISHA: No fucking way.

LIAM: Oh, ho ho!

EMILY: Counterspell. Just kidding. (laughter)

(laughs)

AIMEE: We don't want to hear it!

MATT: (deep, important) "Leave or be judged." In the center of the dome that hits the center of this temple, you watch as this singular light form descends. Wings emerge as feathers of gold drift off. As the light begins to pull away, you see a beautiful, celestial being descend, long, fiery longsword in one hand--

AIMEE: It's him.

MATT: -- float down as you see an angelic entity of the Dawnfather descend--

MARISHA: What?

TALIESIN: Whoa.

MATT: -- in the middle of the chamber.

MARISHA: No!

UTKARSH: Cool. Wow, that's beautiful.

EMILY: Okay.

AIMEE: Oh yeah.

MATT: It then--

EMILY: (nervously) Um...

UTKARSH: Oh boy, an angel and everything.

EMILY: Um, hi.

MARISHA: Wow.

MATT: Swoops down right between the two of you.

AIMEE: Ooh.

MATT: Guards the blade in its hand, and then rapidly... Let's see, yep. Makes two attacks. It strikes twice, once at you, Ashton, and once at you, Prism.

LIAM: Plus eight to your AC.

UTKARSH: Prism.

EMILY: I cling to Orym.

MATT: So against Ashton--

EMILY: I can do this. I'm brave.

MATT: That's going to be a 20 to hit.

TALIESIN: That hits.

MATT: All right, and then against you, that's going to be a 22 to hit.

LIAM: (groans)

EMILY: That hits. But it hasn't been my turn yet, right? So aren't I still resistant to all damage?

MATT: You are, technically.

AIMEE: (gasps)

EMILY: Okay.

AIMEE: Oh, thank god.

MATT: Okay.

EMILY: Technically?

MATT: Yeah.

EMILY: Excuse me?

MATT: Yeah.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: That's kind of-- Yeah.

MATT: So there we go. Both these strikes here a are with the longsword. Against you, you take six points of slashing damage.

LIAM: Oh, I thought it was Ashton and Prism?

MATT: Sorry, Ashton.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: Six points of slashing damage, reduced to three.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: Then 13 points of radiant damage.

TALIESIN: Fuck right off.

UTKARSH: (laughs)

MATT: Then against you.

EMILY: Mm-hmm?

MATT: That is eight points of slashing damage.

EMILY: Mm-hmm, reduced to four.

MATT: Reduced to four. And nine points of radiant damage, reduced to four. So eight points total.

EMILY: Okay.

MARISHA: Oh boy.

EMILY: All right, Prism.

MARISHA: Oh boy.

EMILY: We got this.

UTKARSH: How you feeling?

MATT: Then as part of that, it's going to use Fiery Castigation.

UTKARSH: Oh jeez.

AIMEE: What the fuck is that?

MATT: After it strikes of both of you--

UTKARSH: Fiery Castration.

MARISHA: Fiery Castration.

MATT: -- it looks down at you and goes, "Repent." The voice echoes throughout the room. The actual stained glass in the wall seems to have reverberated its voice as it fills the chamber. I need you to make a dexterity saving throw for me, please.

UTKARSH: You got this.

TALIESIN: Are you within four feet of me?

EMILY: Is that a spell?

TALIESIN: Or 10 feet of me?

LIAM: Probably? I just rolled like ass.

UTKARSH: You're within 10 feet.

EMILY: Is it a spell?

MATT: It's not a spell, unfortunately.

EMILY: Okay.

MATT: It is a magical ability.

EMILY: I'm sorry, Orym.

LIAM: Did you roll a d4 already?

TALIESIN: I did.

LIAM: What is it?

TALIESIN: Two.

LIAM: Oh. So I got a total of 11. I rolled a four.

MATT: 11.

TALIESIN: Well, fuck.

LIAM: Such high dex.

MATT: Fiery golden chains emerge out of the ground around Orym and wrap onto you and seem to pull you to the ground, burning your skin.

UTKARSH and AIMEE: (groan)

MATT: You are restrained.

LIAM: Cool.

UTKARSH: No, again?

LIAM: Cool.

MARISHA: Oh, man.

UTKARSH: You can't catch a break.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: You take--

AIMEE: These guys.

LIAM: I don't know.

MATT: 14 points of radiant damage.

LIAM: Cool.

AIMEE: Oh, fuck.

LIAM: Cool.

MATT: That's going to finish the Dawnborn Angel's turn.

UTKARSH: How do you not have that spell?

MATT: Prism, you're up.

EMILY: Okay. Could I have Mother take a dash action--

MATT: Mm-hmm?

EMILY: -- to get to Bor'Dor, collect the vial of blood--

AIMEE: Yes.

UTKARSH: It's in my hand.

EMILY: -- and bring it to me.

MATT: Okay, so that's--

UTKARSH: Mother could put it in her mouth, though.

MATT: 35, 40, 45, 50?

MARISHA: (caw) (gurgles)

EMILY: Yeah, 50 is her speed.

MATT: 50, that gets you right to Bor'Dor.

MARISHA: Yes!

AIMEE: Oh, thank god.

EMILY: But so then if she takes the dash, that's two movements, right?

MATT: Correct.

EMILY: So she would basically take it--

MATT: So rush over.

EMILY: Just take a beak-full of blood like a pelican diving for a fish?

AIMEE: Yeah, yeah.

MATT: Okay, okay.

EMILY: Then bring it to me?

MATT: Ironically, blood is one of many very powerful tools in the worship of the Matron of Ravens and viably effective. Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, gets over behind you.

AIMEE: Don't swallow, Mother.

MATT: To then land on your shoulder.

EMILY: Okay. I'm going to put the-- I make a little circle with the blood and then I'm going to cast--

MARISHA: Come on, come on.

EMILY: -- Summon Greater Demon.

AIMEE: Yep.

TALIESIN: Why not?

MATT: That's right!

LIAM: Can't fight fire with fire.

EMILY: When you summon something, can you just summon it in the air to fall on someone's head?

MATT: (laughs)

EMILY: I genuinely don't know.

TALIESIN: The house is on fire. More fire.

UTKARSH: Or does it come from below?

MATT: You can. It will take fall damage.

EMILY: Yeah, I'm fine with him taking fall damage. I want to summon him on top of this guy on top of this flying guy.

AIMEE: (laughs)

MATT: "An unoccupied space you can see within range." Yep. All right.

AIMEE: That's hysterical.

MATT: So what kind of demon are you summoning?

EMILY: A barlgura.

MATT: All right.

EMILY: (garbled) Barl-gurl

ALL: (babble demon's name)

MATT: Hold for just a second. I do have a mini for this. I'll be right back.

AIMEE: Oh!

MARISHA: Yes!

EMILY: Barlgura!

UTKARSH: Ladies and gentlemen, tune in next week when HeroClix.io--

TALIESIN: I'll be right back.

MARISHA: (laughs) HeroClix.

UTKARSH: For all of your best toys.

EMILY: It's a barlgura.

UTKARSH: Who needs the other guy when you've got HeroClix?

MARISHA: (laughs)

AIMEE: What the fuck is a HeroClix?

UTKARSH: What are they called?

LIAM: It's a subsection of WizKids.

AIMEE: Oh, WizKids.

LIAM: We are big fans of WizKids here.

UTKARSH: When you've got WizKids.io.org--

EMILY: WizKids.

UTKARSH: When you got the kids--

AIMEE: Of Wiz.

UTKARSH: -- you got the Wiz.

AIMEE: Cheez Whiz.

MARISHA: That's pretty good. Pretty good. You can take Sam Riegel's job.

AIMEE: Sam, watch out.

MARISHA: Yeah, exactly.

AIMEE: Watch out.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

AIMEE: Man, this shit is--

UTKARSH: What about bringing him up from under the guy and grabbing his foot and slamming him down?

EMILY: Oh, grabbing him down?

UTKARSH: Or eating his freaking balls.

EMILY: I think I'm like, let's find out if--

MARISHA: (gargling)

AIMEE: Let's find out what happens.

EMILY: Let's find out what happens. I think so.

MARISHA: Okay, well, he's not here. What do we-- So the Judicator's not great.

AIMEE: Yeah, what the fuck are we--

MARISHA: The angel-- He's back, never mind.

MATT: I've found one that'll be fun given the means in which you summoned it. So where would you like to summon this?

(laughter)

UTKARSH: That's it! That's the picture.

AIMEE: Hideous!

EMILY: I want to have it right as far, I don't know how tall this is, but like--

MATT: The chamber itself stands about 50 feet tall.

EMILY: About 50 feet tall?

LIAM: Cathedral-like.

EMILY: Let me see. Oh, okay, so I can only do it-- Okay, so I'm going to summon it-- I want to actually summon it 10 feet above the angel and then have it fall 10 feet onto the angel.

MARISHA: Yes.

AIMEE: That's the ultimate fuck you.

EMILY: Just punching recklessly.

MATT: Okay. So it falls.

UTKARSH: (gnawing)

MARISHA: "You will be judged! Oh fuck!"

(laughter)

MATT: So describe to me how you summon this. As you grab the handful of blood from your raven. I grab the handful, I baby bird the handful of blood.

AIMEE: Oh god!

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Ugh!

EMILY: Mother, Mother, Mother. I think as I'm doing it, I'm engaging in this blood magic and I think I'm quietly like: Okay, Matron of Ravens, I know that we have a complicated relationship, and we are going to work on that and maybe we'll talk about it later, but--

LIAM: Tell me about it.

EMILY: If there was ever a time to show up for your prodigal daughter, it'd be right now! Then I squeeze the blood in a circle of safety around myself. Then with it, I toss the blood into the air, and like an ink splot, it (bursts) into a huge demon.

AIMEE: Yes!

UTKARSH: Wow!

MATT: It slowly drips out of the ink spot portal. As it tumbles outward, it falls.

UTKARSH: That's so cool.

MATT: I'm going to give it a dexterity saving throw to try and avoid the impact. Natural one.

(cheering)

UTKARSH: Yes!

MATT: So we'll say 10-foot fall. Okay, yeah. It takes five points of bludgeoning damage from the impact.

AIMEE: Womp, womp! Bye, angel.

EMILY: Then see if he enters the--

TALIESIN: Five points of irony.

MATT: The demon takes two.

AIMEE: (laughs) Five points of irony.

EMILY: Okay, demon takes two.

MATT: Mark two damage for the demon. As it does, landing in the space here off to its side.

EMILY: Then let me see. Oh, I roll initiative for him. He enters. He has a... His initiative is going to be a 11.

UTKARSH: Nice. I'm still the lowest.

MATT: 11.

EMILY: Oh, so he's coming up next?

MATT: Indeed.

AIMEE: Oh he's next!

TALIESIN: Oh!

MATT: Yep. All right, so--

EMILY: You know what, just for fun, I am going to say: Dynios, get in on this, and move him three feet more.

MATT: Three feet forward? He's like, "I will admit, I'm impressed. I'm quite impressed."

AIMEE: Oh, finally a compliment.

EMILY: Thank you, Dynios. Wow! (laughs) Yeah, and then I'll tell the barlgura--

MATT: (gargled) Barlgura.

TALIESIN: Barlgura.

EMILY: I'm going to say: Shout your name as you attack recklessly. Thank you! Hopefully, he'll just tell us his true name because that would be really helpful. But he doesn't have to do that.

MATT: (laughs)

EMILY: Yeah.

AIMEE: It's Steve.

EMILY: So that's what-- Yeah.

MATT: All right. So on its turn, as it begins its turn, as you shout this out towards it, you can see there's rage in its eyes as it looks towards you, like it's about to lash out towards you, and then the spell fits in and chains it to the will that you're binding it.

(low growls)

EMILY: Good baby.

MATT: What would you like it to do?

EMILY: I'm going to have it attack recklessly three times on this angel.

MATT: Go for it! Three attacks with advantage. Go for it.

EMILY: Okay, gorgeous.

MARISHA: Come on!

EMILY: Okay!

TALIESIN: Oh, within 10 feet of me? No.

EMILY: We're in the sky. 24 to hit for the first one.

TALIESIN: Bam bam bam.

MATT: That hits.

EMILY: Okay. 17 to hit for the second one.

MATT: 17 misses.

MARISHA: 17 misses?

EMILY: A one and a two, no thank you. Okay, so he hits once, though.

MATT: Okay.

EMILY: We'll take that.

TALIESIN: At least 19, I think.

EMILY: That's 11 damage. Then I want him on there, basically being heavy, grabbing on.

MATT: Just holding on, trying to reach for the wings, harrying it in the middle of the air. You got it.

EMILY: Yeah.

MATT: Okay. Finishing that go, it is now the soldiers' turn. This soldier tries to step down and emerges from a side door over here.

LIAM: What's going on?

MATT: Comes out holding his waist, going, "Oh my god!"

(laughter)

MATT: Is going to step back over here.

AIMEE: Wow.

MATT: And fail to hide terribly. You hear the armor shaking as he's currently shitting himself in the corner of the room.

AIMEE: This is brutal.

EMILY: Shaking and shitting.

MATT: Both of these guards who are Baned and holding down, they both look at each other.

TALIESIN: Run the fuck away.

AIMEE: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Run the fuck away.

AIMEE: Listen to them!

MATT: They drop their weapons and just--

TALIESIN: All right.

EMILY: Yeah!

AIMEE: Yes!

MATT: -- go running out towards the front.

UTKARSH: Oh, bad news for them.

MATT: Full charge.

MARISHA: Right into the crowd of angry townspeople.

TALIESIN: If they're running, maybe they'll be okay.

MATT: They both go running and the townsfolk indeed grab and throw them to the ground and start full on wrestling them to the floor.

AIMEE: Oof, until they get a nice whiff.

UTKARSH: Oh yeah, then they're like, "They're full of shit!"

MATT: You do hear some people are like, "Hold them down! We got them now!" "Is that you?" "What? No!"

(laughter)

MATT: But they rushed--

AIMEE: Don't touch your eyes!

MATT: -- and are now being held in that space.

(laughter)

EMILY: Pink eye is a serious concern here.

MATT: All righty.

UTKARSH: There's no cure for pink eye.

MATT: Finishes their go. Bor'Dor, you're up.

UTKARSH: Okay, well, shit is--

TALIESIN: They've got a big robot.

UTKARSH: I've seen things in the last 30 seconds that I've never seen in my life before.

MARISHA: (laughs)

UTKARSH: Can I get to here?

MATT: Over here?

UTKARSH: Can I get behind this pew--

MATT: Yeah, you can.

UTKARSH: With a line of sight on the Adjudicator?

MATT: You do, indeed.

UTKARSH: Then I'm going to point at him and say: You hurt my friend! I'm going to shoot-- I'm going to cast. Let's use the right verbiage.

MATT: That's okay.

TALIESIN: Verbiage.

UTKARSH: I'm going to cast a Lightning Bolt. Yeah, Lightning Bolt.

MATT: Okay, that will carve a straight line through the Judicator.

AIMEE: Nice.

MATT: It does-- Hitting nobody else. It does get advantage on the saving throw because of its magic resistance.

UTKARSH: No.

MARISHA: Minus d4.

MATT: Minus a d4 on it, so that's a 19 minus three. So it's a 16. What's your spell DC?

UTKARSH: It's-- Is that this?

MARISHA: Save it. It is exactly 16, yeah.

MATT: 16, okay, so it takes half damage, but you still roll damage on the Lightning Bolt.

UTKARSH: Okay.

MARISHA: So close.

MATT: That was very close.

MARISHA: One more and it would've been full damage.

MARISHA and UTKARSH: (groan)

EMILY: Oh my goodness.

UTKARSH: Oh no.

EMILY: Oh my goodness.

MARISHA: No way.

MATT: Bro.

MARISHA: Awful.

UTKARSH: (hums)

MATT: Two more.

MARISHA: Magic is--

EMILY: Oh my gosh!

UTKARSH: Oh my god!

AIMEE: Just rattle them.

MATT: What level were you casting at?

UTKARSH: 14.

MATT: Okay, 14 damage? All right, so that's--

UTKARSH: 15, sorry, 15.

MATT: 15, half of that. Okay, that's going to put it at seven points of lightning damage. The Judicator, the blast hits it and it seems to almost try and catch the lightning. As it does, it impacts, it strikes through, and as the lightning energy travels through its body, eventually it subsides and it opens its hands and smoke goes (puffs) out of its grip. It looks over towards you and flexes extremely hard. You watch as the rest of the smoke that's on its fist (puffs) dissipates.

TALIESIN: Oh boy.

EMILY: Bor'Dor--

UTKARSH: I'm going to go. Can I get back in here?

MATT: Five, 10, 15, 20. You can get 25, 30 to get up inside. You'll be in the doorway, but you can indeed do that.

UTKARSH: Okay. Ah!

MARISHA: Ah!

AIMEE: (laughs)

MARISHA: Are you all right?

UTKARSH: I don't know.

(laughter)

UTKARSH: I don't know.

MARISHA: I don't know.

UTKARSH: Was that dog yours?

MARISHA: I'm not sure.

UTKARSH: Oh my god.

MARISHA: Kind of. Yes, it came from me, but it's complicated.

MATT: All right. That finishes your go?

UTKARSH: I guess so.

MATT: All righty.

EMILY: Can I also have used my turn to move away?

MATT: If you'd like to. You will probably get attack of opportunity from the--

EMILY: I simply can't sustain it.

MATT: -- angel. Okay.

EMILY: I'll stay.

MATT: Fair enough.

EMILY: I'll stay.

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: So all the guards went running.

MATT: All of them, and this one trying to hide.

MARISHA: Except for that one, who's--

MATT: Who's just like (cowering) behind the pillar. It is now the Judicator's turn.

MARISHA: Oh, boy.

LIAM: Officer Murphy.

MATT: The Judicator's going to step into this side here--

LIAM: Uh-oh. MATT -- and is going to make one strike out towards you, Ashton.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

UTKARSH: Dang.

TALIESIN: d4.

MATT: That's right, a d4 on that. Okay, minus three. That'll put it at a 20?

TALIESIN: (muttering) Fucking that'll hit me.

MATT: (laughs)

AIMEE: (mocking mutters)

EMILY: (laughs)

MARISHA: Yikes.

MATT: With that--

MARISHA: Oh, he moved out of my range of my hound.

MATT: That's true, so your hound--

MARISHA: My hound gets an attack of opportunity.

MATT: Go for it.

AIMEE: Giver.

MARISHA: Come on. Yeah. That's good. 23?

MATT: 23 hits.

UTKARSH: Yes!

EMILY: Yeah!

MARISHA: Eight damage from my hound.

MATT: Eight damage from your hound. Okay.

MARISHA: He has to make a strength saving throw.

LIAM: Is he a solid black corgi?

TALIESIN: Minus a d4.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Ha!

MATT: Minus two and then that'll put it at 16.

MARISHA: Okay. Yeah.

TALIESIN: Shit, fuck.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: He's got to roll so astronomically low, but it happens.

MATT: Okay. Actually, beginning of this turn, it's going to use a bonus action to cast Branding Smite on itself.

AIMEE: What's that?

MATT: So as it begins to rear back to punch you, it goes and draws--

EMILY: I'm going to Counterspell it.

MATT: You're going to Counterspell it?

EMILY: Yeah.

UTKARSH: Heck, yeah.

MATT: Okay.

AIMEE: Yeah! Use that!

TALIESIN: Thank you!

MATT: So you whip outward.

EMILY: You don't do any extra damage on my friends.

AIMEE: (laughs) She's drunk.

MATT: As he pulls back to punch, the runes that were glowing--

AIMEE: Drunk the bludge.

MATT: -- fizzle out.

EMILY: I think I have pink eye.

MATT: Still goes for the impact on you for six points of bludgeoning damage, reduced to three, and eight points of force damage.

TALIESIN: That doesn't get reduced.

MATT: No.

TALIESIN: No. That's just meanness. Okay.

MATT: It is then going to, as it punches you, it's going to do a heavy backward kick right towards you at the back of it.

AIMEE: Ah, fuck.

UTKARSH: Oh no.

TALIESIN: Removing a d4.

MARISHA: Minus a d4.

MATT: Natural 20.

LIAM: (groans)

MATT: That was an Essek dice.

UTKARSH: Jeez Louise, Deni$e is getting it.

MATT: So yeah, minus two. That's still going to hit.

TALIESIN: No Silvery-- Uh-oh.

MATT: So for you--

MARISHA: Is it the new round? Did I do Silvery Barbs at the top of this round?

MATT: You already did this round, I think.

TALIESIN: (groans)

MARISHA: He's at the end of the round, which sucks.

TALIESIN: Ah, fuck shit bugger.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: So that's going to be--

MARISHA: It's such a long round. It's hard.

MATT: 19 points of bludgeoning damage.

AIMEE: Halved.

MATT: Halved to nine points of bludgeoning damage.

AIMEE: Great.

TALIESIN: Ho.

MATT: And-- Ooh!

LIAM: She's a little tank, though.

MATT: 16 points of force damage.

AIMEE: Sorry?

MATT: 16 points of force damage.

AIMEE: I take that, that's a full.

MATT: That's full, yeah.

TALIESIN: Oh, boy.

MARISHA: How's everyone looking?

UTKARSH: Yeah, how we doing over there, Deni$e?

TALIESIN: She's not looking good over here.

MARISHA: Deni$e and Prism might be a little--

EMILY: I'm actually okay.

MARISHA: Okay.

EMILY: It's more if I take a huge hit.

AIMEE: Fuck.

EMILY: Wait.

MARISHA: Okay.

AIMEE: I can't add it, so I'll just do it here.

LIAM: I'm good, just don't touch me.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: There's a lot of things that can really hurt me around me, but that's okay.

MATT: Wanting to begin to reduce the amount of threats that are in the space here, even with the elemental right there, it's going to--

TALIESIN: Shit.

MATT: It's going to whip around into a full backward back fist towards you, Deni$e, once more.

UTKARSH: What the hell?

TALIESIN: Negative four-- Oh god. It did it again, didn't it?

LIAM: Natural 20?

MATT: I'm not even joking.

LIAM: Natural 20. Oh boy.

EMILY: Okay, this, honestly, makes me look bad.

MATT: This is really creepy.

EMILY: This makes me look bad.

MATT: This is really creepy.

EMILY: It's fucking me at the table.

MATT: I'm going to take a picture of that shit.

LIAM: This is a man who could sell MacBooks to anybody.

(laughter)

MATT: Goddamn it. That's insane. I'm so sorry.

MATT: Crit on your persuasion to get people to buy MacBooks.

AIMEE: What is it? What'd I get?

MATT: Well, the first roll wasn't great. That's 10 points of bludgeoning damage reduced to five.

AIMEE: Okay.

MATT: For the force damage, that's not great. That's going to be 14 points of force damage to you. That does not half at all.

LIAM: Now Deni$e is looking a little--

AIMEE: Fuck. Fuck, I just did a bad thing.

LIAM: -- bloody. Wait, hold on. Fuck me, dude. This is not working. Okay.

UTKARSH: WizKids, don't use that kind of language at all.

AIMEE: Sorry. So it was five.

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA and EMILY: (laugh)

AIMEE: Then what was the other one?

MATT: 14.

AIMEE: 14, okay. All right.

UTKARSH: How you doing over there?

AIMEE: I got 31 hit points left.

MATT: And--

EMILY: You're making the most of 'em.

MATT: It does get its Condemnation back.

LIAM: Oh, good.

TALIESIN: Good to know.

MARISHA: Great, great, great, great, great, great.

MATT: All right. That's going to finish its go. Now it is the civilians' turn. The civilians immediately swarm--

EMILY: (pitifully) Oh.

MATT: -- these individuals and force them to the ground, begin binding them, and closing off the exit to the temple here.

MARISHA: Okay.

AIMEE: So that's what I got.

LIAM: Yeah. Yup.

MARISHA: Ooh.

MATT: All righty. Top of the round. Orym, you're up, with Ashton on deck.

LIAM: Oh man. Well, I'm in golden chains, right?

MATT: You're restrained, which means you can't move. You can still take actions, but they're at disadvantage to any of your actions.

LIAM: Okay, well, first thing I'm going to do is use my bonus. I'm going to center myself and take a deep breath and think of home and do Second Wind.

UTKARSH: Love it.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Get back 14 points for me.

TALIESIN: Ooh!

LIAM: Okay. I'm restrained. Could I try to break out of these or I just fight with them on?

MATT: It's until the end of the next turn. So you have to fight with them on.

LIAM: Okay. Who is here with us? Is there anybody left? I can't walk, can I?

MATT: No.

UTKARSH: No.

MATT: The angel's not in range with you.

LIAM: Oh, that's okay. I can use Seedling at disadvantage.

MATT: That's true.

LIAM: To slice the air.

TALIESIN: Unless you've got advantage. Unless someone's-- There's no one who is--

LIAM: Is the Judicator within 15 feet of me?

MATT: Judicator is 15 feet from you.

LIAM: All right, I'm going to slice twice.

UTKARSH: Nice, take him out.

MATT: All right. (slicing) Disadvantage on each strike.

LIAM: Okay.

UTKARSH: Here we go.

EMILY: Hate that.

LIAM: So, nine or six, so that is a 16.

TALIESIN: Plus two.

MATT: 16.

LIAM: Plus two is 18.

MATT: Misses still.

LIAM: Misses, okay.

UTKARSH: Sheesh.

MATT: Just barely misses.

LIAM: That time, it is a 25.

TALIESIN: Plus two.

LIAM: 27 to hit.

MATT: That hits! Roll damage on the second strike.

LIAM: Let's make that a goading attack.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: I say--

TALIESIN: Ooh!

LIAM: Sorry, but your god fucking sucks right now! I will--

UTKARSH: That's very goading.

LIAM: 11 plus--

AIMEE: (laughs)

LIAM: That's just 12 points.

UTKARSH: Yes!

LIAM: Slice through the air and then it has to beat a wisdom.

MATT: Which it, I believe failed with a 14.

LIAM: 14 does fail.

MATT: All right.

LIAM: So anything he does is at disadvantage unless it's on me.

MATT: Against you. You got it.

AIMEE: Ooh!

TALIESIN: Oh, boy.

MARISHA: This is the Judicator?

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: All right, Orym. Does that finish your turn?

LIAM: It does.

MATT: All right. End to Orym's turn. Ashton, you're up.

TALIESIN: All right, who's within range of me?

MATT: Both the angel and the Judicator are within range of you.

TALIESIN: God fucking damn it. I think the Judicator could become-- go away faster, so I'm going to start there. I'm going to attack the Judicator. I'm going to--

MATT: Go for it.

MARISHA: Hopefully angel fighting a demon--

TALIESIN: Fuck it! I'm going to turn around and spin.

EMILY: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Yeah, no-- Just straight roll, right?

EMILY: Hoping to invoke the age-old rivalry?

MARISHA: Yeah, angels versus demons.

EMILY: Versus demons. Yeah.

MARISHA: Dan Brown would be so proud.

TALIESIN: I don't have advantage from anything.

MATT: No, unless you want to-- Unless you want to reckless, but--

TALIESIN: Fuck, not right now. No.

MATT: Okay.

AIMEE: Yeah, fuck no.

TALIESIN: Not where I am right now. That's okay because that's 30 to hit.

MATT: That definitely hits! Roll damage.

TALIESIN: Come on. Ugh, god! 13 damage.

MATT: 13 damage. All right, Judicator's starting to show some wear and tear. You're starting to see the gashes and bludgeons. There's blood on the wounds and it's starting to look a little worn.

TALIESIN: I take that full swing. I use the back of the hammer, stop myself, and pull back up again with a two-handed--

MATT: Go for it.

TALIESIN: Roll to see how this goes. Nope, that was a one.

MATT: The first hit impacts. The second one, it slaps the hammer out of the way, almost knocking it out of your grip before you catch it, looking back at it angrily. Does that finish your turn? You want to move?

TALIESIN: Anywhere I move, I'm going to be leaving combat with one of these fucks, aren't I?

MATT: You can move five feet that way. (laughs) That's about it. That's on a pew.

TALIESIN: That doesn't help anybody, though.

MATT: Not particularly.

TALIESIN: No. All right.

MATT: Staying put?

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'll just fucking stay put.

MATT: All right. Finishing your go. Deni$e, you're up, with Laudna on deck.

AIMEE: All right. I'm going to-- Am I still in melee with the Judicator?

MATT: You are.

AIMEE: Okay, I'm going to take my sickle and I'm going to try to strike his ass.

MATT: Do it.

AIMEE: That is a--

MATT: Now an interesting point of order.

AIMEE: Yes?

MATT: One, you can go reckless. Or if you wanted to move over to this side, you would have him flanked by Ashton, which would give you advantage automatically.

AIMEE: Oh. Can I do that?

MATT: You can do that.

AIMEE: But that's how much of my movement?

MATT: That would be 15 feet.

AIMEE: (scoffs) Okay, that's fine.

MATT: You don't have to. I'm just saying that's an option.

AIMEE: No, no, no. I'll do that. Then I'll get a what? I'll get advantage?

MATT: Advantage on all of your attacks.

AIMEE: Okay, great. So I get to roll that again. because that was trash. Oh, okay, much better. 24?

MATT: 24 hits.

AIMEE: Okay. Do I get to add that d4?

TALIESIN: You're just out of range.

AIMEE: No, I'm-- Fuck.

MATT: That's okay, but you do get your sneak attack damage on this because--

AIMEE: Oh, sure. So do I roll this twice? No.

MATT: You roll that and then add as many d6s as you have for your sneak attacks. I think it's 2d6.

AIMEE: Shit. Okay, so that's going to be a six and then 2d6. Fuck me.

(laughter)

MATT: It's all good. It's all good.

TALIESIN: Panic die.

AIMEE: Okay. Fuck, that's a two. So wait. So that's a six, an eight.

LIAM: Where did it go?

AIMEE: Eight.

MATT: Okay. So eight damage plus whatever your additional damage is on your sickle.

LIAM: That die is gone.

AIMEE: Oh, yeah. So another eight, so 16.

TALIESIN: What the fuck?

MATT: 16 points of damage on that strike, nice.

AIMEE: Then, so that's one.

UTKARSH: Who should I hit? The Judicator?

AIMEE: Then can I try again?

MATT: Yes, you can.

TALIESIN: With advantage.

AIMEE: With advantage, okay. Oh, better. 27?

UTKARSH: Yes!

MATT: 27 hits.

EMILY: Yeah!

AIMEE: So I only get sneak attack on the one.

MATT: Correct.

AIMEE: Fuck, fuck, fuck. Where's my d8?

MATT: So d8 plus eight.

AIMEE: Where is it? Where is it? Where the fuck is it?

TALIESIN: Is that the one you lost?

AIMEE: Here.

MATT: There it is.

AIMEE: Oh, okay.

LIAM: We good.

AIMEE: Okay, so that's six plus eight is what?

MATT: 14.

AIMEE: 14.

UTKARSH: 14!

MATT: Nice. 30 points of damage in this round already.

AIMEE: All right, great. Then, if I may, as a cunning action, may I hide as a bonus action?

MATT: You have nothing to hide--

UTKARSH: Behind the dog!

MATT: -- behind right now, but you can disengage and move away.

MARISHA: The ghost dog.

AIMEE: Okay.

MATT: It won't get an attack of opportunity.

AIMEE: I can disengage or I can dash, but no, I'll disengage.

TALIESIN: You disengage.

EMILY: Yeah.

AIMEE: I'll disengage.

MATT: Okay and you still have 15 feet of movement, right?

AIMEE: Okay, yeah, so--

MATT: 20, right? Because your speed is--

AIMEE: 35.

MATT: 35? Yeah. So you have 20 more feet of movement.

AIMEE: I hate to do that, but I just don't know.

TALIESIN: You can roll back in later.

AIMEE: I'm looking pretty bad, so I guess towards that pillar over there.

MATT: Okay.

AIMEE: Yeah.

MATT: Five, 10, 15, 20 can get you right there.

UTKARSH: Nice.

AIMEE: That's great.

TALIESIN: That'll do. You can still run in and run out if you need.

AIMEE: Yeah, sorry. Okay, so that's 15 feet. Okay.

TALIESIN: No, no, no. You are making good decisions there.

AIMEE: Good. Thank you.

MATT: All righty. That finishes your go, Deni$e?

AIMEE: Yes.

MATT: Laudna, you're up.

UTKARSH: Laudna!

MARISHA: Okay.

UTKARSH: Hey, have you been crying?

TALIESIN: I have no idea.

MARISHA: I'll talk about it later.

UTKARSH: Okay.

MARISHA: I leak oil sometimes.

AIMEE: Oh, no.

UTKARSH: Okay. I threw up all over myself, so--

MARISHA: I can see that.

UTKARSH: Yeah.

MARISHA: I'm going to pump some Eldritch Blasts into this Judicator.

MATT: All righty.

AIMEE: ♪ Pump, pump, pump it up ♪

MATT: So you have to move. You don't see him right now. So you'd have to move into a space where you can actually see him.

MARISHA: Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll shift forward.

UTKARSH: After you.

MARISHA: Which--

MATT: You move behind to see him? Behind Bor'Dor, if you want.

MARISHA: Okay. I got a 19 on one.

MATT: That just hits.

MARISHA: The other misses.

MATT: Okay, so you got one hit on him.

MARISHA: One hit, which blah. Okay, 10 damage.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Then--

UTKARSH: Can I Enhance Ability or is it too late for that?

MATT: On your next turn, you can if you want to.

UTKARSH: For her.

MATT: It only improves ability checks though, not combat rolls.

UTKARSH: Ah, damn. What's the point, then?

MARISHA: Then--

MATT: Out of combat rolls?

MATT and UTKARSH: (laugh)

EMILY: (laughs)

MARISHA: My--

UTKARSH: Ah ha!

MATT and EMILY: (laugh)

MARISHA: -- puppy will move up.

TALIESIN: Good puppy.

UTKARSH: Pup, pup.

MARISHA: So he counts as an ally, which means, would Ashton get--

MATT: Indeed.

MARISHA: Okay, great.

UTKARSH: Cool.

UTKARSH: In fact, does he get advantage now?

MATT: Unfortunately, because of the width of the Judicator, he's 15 feet from you.

TALIESIN: (blows raspberry) Or at least advantage on the attack.

MATT: Yes.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MARISHA: He gets advantage?

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Okay, great.

UTKARSH: Camera men are doing great.

EMILY: I know.

UTKARSH: Zooming?

MARISHA: Natural 20.

(cheering)

TALIESIN: Oh thank god.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: My dog is doing better than me.

LIAM: Hot table.

UTKARSH: ♪ Do-do-do ♪

EMILY: Hot table.

TALIESIN: God, wouldn't it be amazing if your chews ended that?

MARISHA: Come on, double sixes.

(grunts)

EMILY: (laughs)

MARISHA: This is not-- Four, eight.

AIMEE: I don't know where that went.

LIAM: Yeah exactly. We were looking for it.

MARISHA: 12 damage from my doggo.

MATT: 12 damage, all righty.

MARISHA: No.

MATT: It's a heavy bite out of the side of the--

MARISHA: 13 damage from my doggo.

MATT: 13 damage? Additional one. Great.

UTKARSH: A one, whoa.

MATT: (striking) Takes a big chunk out of the hind quarters of the Judicator that seems to shake.

MARISHA: Strength saving throw.

MATT: Strength saving throw.

TALIESIN: Minus four.

MATT: Minus four.

TALIESIN: d4, yeah.

MATT: d4. That's minus four. That'll bring it to a 13.

MARISHA: 13 is the AC.

MATT: 13 is the AC. Or the DC.

MARISHA: Or is the DC.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Fuck.

MARISHA: It just knocks him prone, but that would be just fun.

MATT: It would just be fun.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Yeah, totally.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I guess that's it. I feel like I should save everything else in case shit hits the fan.

MATT: Okay, fair enough. Finishing--

UTKARSH: Why, because you only have a few slots or something?

MARISHA: Yeah.

EMILY: Yeah.

UTKARSH: Use them all!

MARISHA: Reactions and stuff like that. I don't want to use them right now.

MATT: Okay. Finishing your go, that brings us to Elder Abaddina. Elder Abaddina, seeing this angelic entity of the Dawnfather descend from the top, goes--

MARISHA: I should probably have moved.

MATT: "This wasn't part of the plan."

AIMEE: Oh, thank god.

TALIESIN: Hoo boy.

MATT: She is going to--

UTKARSH: Run?

AIMEE: I hope fucking not.

MARISHA: I know.

MATT: No, is going to cast Mass Cure Wounds.

AIMEE: Oh!

MARISHA: Ooh!

TALIESIN: Ooh!

EMILY: Abaddina!

AIMEE: My girl. That's my girl!

UTKARSH: I haven't taken any hits, but maybe just cure my tummy.

EMILY: Feel free to not heal the barlgura.

MATT: Up to six creatures.

AIMEE: Yeah, (garbled demon name).

EMILY: It is a demon, an uncontrollable one.

MATT: 60 feet. One, two.

AIMEE: Oh. Shit, it doesn't reach me, does it?

MATT: Three.

UTKARSH: (laughing) No.

EMILY: No! Deni$e!

MARISHA: Oh no!

AIMEE: I'm the one that needs it!

MATT: It does not.

MARISHA: No!

(laughter)

EMILY: Deni$e!

MATT: But--

UTKARSH: But--

MARISHA: Oh no!

UTKARSH: With her bonus action--

MARISHA: Deni$e!

MATT: Orym, Ashton, and Prism, you all heal... That's not great. 17 hit points.

EMILY: Ooh!

MARISHA: Oh, that's pretty-- That's not nothing.

AIMEE: I could've used that.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: I know.

EMILY: Back up to full.

TALIESIN: I'm not complaining.

MARISHA: Oh.

EMILY: (deep exhale)

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: She's going to nervously shift back into this chamber.

AIMEE: Oh no! If that bitch is scared--

MATT: Step into here.

MARISHA: Oh no, she's in here?

MATT: Yeah, you're all in this room now.

MARISHA: It's getting very crowded in here. You're big and strong.

MATT: "I do not want to be near that thing. I don't know what that is!"

MARISHA: The Judicator?

MATT: "No, the angel!"

MARISHA: Oh. Oh. He's about to fight a demon. It's fine.

MATT: (chuckles)

EMILY: (laughs)

MATT: All righty. That finishes their turn. The earth entity is going to move forward and go into a double slam against the Judicator. Just-- (striking)

UTKARSH: Abaddina doesn't even know who the angel is.

EMILY: I know.

UTKARSH: That's not good.

TALIESIN: Plus a d4.

MATT: Plus a d4. That's a three. 15 misses, unfortunately. Rolled a two.

LIAM: Come on, Rocky.

MATT: That's an 18, which still misses. The Earth Guardian is not doing great on the rolls that round.

TALIESIN: Dang nab it!

AIMEE: Dang it!

MATT: Angrily. So finishing its go, it's now the angel's turn. Seeing the demon there--

AIMEE: Oh no.

EMILY: (laughs)

MATT: Flies up to the height of the chamber.

UTKARSH: So cool.

TALIESIN: Does the demon get an attack of opportunity?

MATT: It does.

AIMEE: Yes.

EMILY: Yeah!

AIMEE: Go demon!

MATT: As does you.

TALIESIN: I ain't taking it.

MATT: That's right, okay.

AIMEE: Why not?

UTKARSH: Why not?

TALIESIN: I'm saving my reaction for other issues.

AIMEE: Oh. Got it.

EMILY: Demon does 15 damage.

MATT: 15 damage, you got it.

AIMEE: All right!

EMILY: Piercing.

AIMEE: Piercing!

TALIESIN: Piercing damage?

MARISHA: Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

EMILY: Piercing.

UTKARSH: Flesh wound, mortal.

MATT: As it stands up, flies up, its voice once rings out--

TALIESIN: Fuck.

MATT: "Be judged as castigation fills your spirits." (echoing) Pulls its sword up and the flames on its blade begin to burn brighter. It takes and points it over on the far end, as a beam--

MARISHA: Is this a spell?

MATT: (sizzling beam) It is a spell.

MARISHA: It's hitting where?

MATT: It aims right down into the entryway to there. As you watch a beam go--

MARISHA: Counterspell.

EMILY: Yeah!

MATT: You do not have sight. It is flying, it is too high up in the chamber.

MARISHA: But it can beam me?

MATT: It's shooting the floor right there.

EMILY: I should've saved my Counterspell. Laudna, I'm sorry.

(roaring flame)

AIMEE: Oh no.

TALIESIN: God, it fucking--

MATT: I need everyone within that chamber--

UTKARSH: Nope.

MATT: -- to make a dexterity saving throw for me, please.

UTKARSH: I don't want to.

AIMEE: (laughs)

EMILY: Yeah, could Bor'Dor not--

MARISHA: Agreed.

AIMEE: I refuse.

MARISHA: (groans)

LIAM: Oh.

TALIESIN: Oh, I don't like that sound.

AIMEE: That's a lot.

MARISHA: Can my Mirror Image work with this?

EMILY: I got trigger happy.

MARISHA: I don't remember.

LIAM: Not if it's AoE.

EMILY: I got trigger happy.

MARISHA: I don't think so, right?

MATT: Which one?

MARISHA: Mirror Image.

MATT: Mirror Image? No, this just hits everything in the room. All right, so that brings us to--

TALIESIN: Fuck.

MARISHA: Do I have anything for this?

MATT: What is your roll?

MARISHA: Eight.

MATT: Eight. 34 points of fire damage.

TALIESIN: Whoa!

MATT: Bor'Dor, what did you roll?

LIAM: A one?

UTKARSH: No, I rolled a 14.

MATT: 14? 34 points of fire damage to you. Then against--

UTKARSH: (laughs) You guys, this is not good.

MATT: -- Elder. Elder fails. 34 points of fire damage. To that point, I need you, Laudna, to make a constitution saving throw, as well as the Elder. Which fails. The Earth Guardian.

LIAM: No!

TALIESIN: No.

AIMEE: We need this Elder to do this fucking whatever later, if we wanted to--

EMILY: The Scrying?

AIMEE: The Scrying.

LIAM: Wow.

AIMEE: So that bitch needs to be protected.

TALIESIN: We also need to be alive.

AIMEE: That, too.

TALIESIN: So that's definitely a--

MARISHA: I add my spell...

MATT: Oh, it doesn't disappear. It just maintains, but like some summoned creatures, it is no longer under her control.

LIAM: It's a free agent.

AIMEE: No, no, no, no, no!

MATT: What did you roll?

MARISHA: My spell modifier, right?

MATT: No, you add your constitution saving throw.

MARISHA: Right. Okay. 19? That is more than half.

MATT: 19. That is more than half. So yeah, you maintain your Bane.

MARISHA: So I maintain concentration.

TALIESIN: Woo!

EMILY: Yeah!

MATT: Fantastic! All right. That's going to finish the angel's go. Stays up there flying. (wings flap powerfully) It spins its flaming sword around in a figure eight motion and gets it at the ready, staring down upon the rest of you. Finishing its turn, Prism, you are up--

LIAM: Where you at, Laudna?

MATT: -- with the demon on deck.

EMILY: Okay. How high is it?

MARISHA: I'm okay.

MATT: 50 feet up.

MARISHA: I'm okay. I haven't taken any hits yet.

EMILY: So the demon, I think, can't even get up to it. He can only jump-- How would any of us even get up to it?

MARISHA: Just don't let that happen again.

TALIESIN: There's a column.

EMILY: There's a column. Would the column get the demon up enough to jump up to it?

MATT: It could try.

EMILY: Yeah, he is going to try, but it's not his turn yet.

LIAM: What does the column do?

MATT: So these pillars rise up to the top.

TALIESIN: Don't they protect you? I don't know.

MATT: Up here, technically. So he could try and climb the pillar or jump and leap.

EMILY: Climb up? He's going to do that because he's a crazy bitch.

MATT: I love that.

EMILY: I think the question is--

TALIESIN: You summoned a crazy bitch.

EMILY: I think the question is, if I try to do something here. I'm feeling like I should save this final 5th-level spell or this 5th-level spell.

LIAM: That's a good wizard.

EMILY: Let's do it. Okay. Dynios! I'm going to have him fly so that he's 30 feet, he flies 30 feet here so that he can get range on him and him.

MATT: Okay.

AIMEE: Go, Daddy!

MATT: I'm going to move this aside for now.

LIAM: Daddy.

AIMEE: Daddy.

EMILY: Do we want to attack the earth elemental, too?

TALIESIN: I think we're probably fine for the--

EMILY: Okay.

TALIESIN: I feel like the earth elemental's not a problem yet.

MARISHA: For the moment.

UTKARSH: Nobody's around him either.

LIAM: The elemental's a spinning top now.

MARISHA: Maybe he'll go for the Judicator.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LIAM: It could do anything.

EMILY: Okay. We're doing Steel Wind Strike, so it's going to take two, a strike on each of these guys. Are there any other combatants within the 30?

MATT: Honestly, it's just the angel--

EMILY: It's just them.

MATT: -- the Judicator, and the earth elemental. Those are the three technical combatants in the range.

EMILY: But we're leaving the earth elemental?

TALIESIN: If you're acting--

TALIESIN and MATT: Your call.

EMILY: I got a soft spot for summons, so I'm going to leave him.

MATT: Okay.

(laughter)

MATT: Blades emerge from the sides of the leather bound book as it begins to spin, Krull-style, and then--

TALIESIN: Krull-style.

MATT: -- begins to teleport multiple times between the two entities of your specific ire, striking at each of them.

AIMEE: You want this back?

TALIESIN: Wait, is that a--

EMILY: Does a 21 hit the angel?

MATT: 21 hits the angel!

EMILY: Yes! Thank god!

UTKARSH: Yes!

MARISHA: Hey!

TALIESIN: I was going to say, are you within 10 feet of me?

EMILY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: All right.

EMILY: I think so.

TALIESIN: So just in case.

MATT: You are.

TALIESIN: There for the next one.

EMILY: Then, here's for the Judicator.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

EMILY: That is a 17.

TALIESIN: Plus two!

EMILY: Plus two. 19.

MATT: 19 exactly hits.

EMILY: Yes!

AIMEE: Thank god!

UTKARSH: Oh, thank god!

EMILY: Oh! Oh, I feel good!

(laughter)

EMILY: Okay. That's one, two, three. Do you have a-- Oh, I have one. Okay. All right, all right. Five...

MATT: Oh!

LIAM: Whoa!

EMILY: Oh my god, pouring those again.

LIAM: That's a bunch of 10s?

EMILY: 16. No, it was only one 10. 16. 20, two, three, four, five. 25 force damage to each.

MATT: Ooh!

MARISHA: Nice.

AIMEE: Please do ♪ something to them ♪

EMILY: Oh, let me double check that it's force damage for this. Yeah, it's force damage.

MATT: Force damage. Both the Judicator and the angel suffer the blows of the spinning arcane blades out of the book as it (slicing). Both of them (stumbling). The angel drops about a foot and a half in the air and grasps its chest for a second. "Infidel!" The Judicator on the ground takes the hit, grabs its chest, and from underneath the mask you watch blood pour from where its mouth would be.

MARISHA: Oh yes!

MATT: As it glances over in your direction.

EMILY: Should I send the barlgura after the-- after the Judicator, actually? Do we like that?

TALIESIN: How much longer do we have before-- Well.

UTKARSH: One or two.

MATT: You're no longer restrained, by the way. The chains have faded.

LIAM: Oh, they faded?

EMILY: Oh good!

MATT: It was only until the end of its next turn and it finished its turn.

LIAM: All right, all right, all right, all right.

TALIESIN: Mm-mm. (I don't know)

EMILY: I'm going to send the barlgura over to this guy.

UTKARSH: (garbled) Barlgura.

EMILY: Because then, at least, maybe he'll be another target for the earth elemental if he's unpredictable.

MATT: You got it. Okay.

LIAM: What's that over there? I can't see.

EMILY: I'm going to say, attack recklessly!

MATT: Do it!

EMILY: So I lead him over with my little kid leash made of blood.

(laughter)

MATT: Go play with your friends.

MARISHA: He's got a little monkey backpack on.

EMILY: Yeah. (laughs)

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: He looks all cute.

MATT: Perfect! Perfect!

AIMEE: Looks like he's going to school on the sidewalk.

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs)

EMILY: Okay. That is a 21 to hit.

MATT: That hits!

EMILY: First hit! That's going to hit again. 23 to hit for the second hit.

MATT: Okay.

EMILY: That is a 22 to hit.

AIMEE: Yes!

MATT: Three hits. Roll damage.

EMILY: All right! They all hit!

AIMEE: Yes!

EMILY: Go at it, my love. Seven piercing damage plus another seven, so 14 piercing damage.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

EMILY: And 14 bludgeoning damage.

MATT: Woof! Nice!

EMILY: Then he's going to square up with that guy.

MATT: Okay, it's on the ground, one fist holding it up.

EMILY: Yeah.

MATT: As it looks over its shoulder towards the barlgura that's slamming it in the side and gorilla pounding its chest, big old tusks in the bottom of its jaws.

(wild roars)

EMILY: Now let's see if he stays faithful to me. He does!

AIMEE: Oh!

MATT: Aw!

EMILY: Still in our control.

TALIESIN: Is that a check or a save, by the way?

EMILY: He makes a save, but he has a minus one to charisma.

TALIESIN: Oh, okay, okay.

EMILY: So it's safe-ish.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Safe-ish. Yeah.

MATT: All right. Finishing the demon's go, it is now the soldiers' go. He's going to go ahead... Hmm. Let me check.

AIMEE: Is he still up?

TALIESIN: I yelled.

MATT: (uncertainly) Mm. Hiding in the corner.

UTKARSH: Yeah.

MATT: Seeing you looking as hurt as you current-- goes and gets his crossbow that he still has from his pillar at the top of the tower, loads it, and is going to quietly-- (groans) Grabs his stomach.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: Fires it.

AIMEE: Disadvantage.

MATT: Disadvantage on the strike.

(laughs)

AIMEE: Shit! Disadvantage!

UTKARSH: (laughs)

AIMEE: Shitvantage!

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: Shitvantage!

MATT: That would've been a natural 19 and then a natural one.

AIMEE: Oh, thank the lord!

MATT: He goes to fire it and it just (twang). The crossbow snaps, essentially, in his hand and he goes (panicked whimper), drops it, and then runs--

MARISHA: Yes!

AIMEE: Thank you!

MATT: -- back to the door where he came from and vanishes.

AIMEE: All right! Thanks, Bor'Dor!

MARISHA: Go cool off.

MATT: Bor'Dor, you're up.

UTKARSH: What about the townsfolk? Did they go already?

MATT: They go at the end. They rolled three on their initiative.

UTKARSH: I'm all fucked up from that Fire Bolt. I don't know what to do. How much damage did you take? A lot?

MARISHA: Same as you. 30-some odd points, but I'm okay. Don't worry about me.

UTKARSH: (worried) I'm not! Can you do Cure Wounds on yourself?

MATT: Yeah, you can.

UTKARSH: No, not today.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Just a hypothetical.

AIMEE: Just curious.

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs)

MATT: In a theoretical sense.

UTKARSH: Do these pillars-- (clears throat) Excuse me. Enhance your abilities?

MATT: You get the sense that standing near them might be beneficial.

UTKARSH: Okay. I'm going to stand next to it.

MATT: Okay.

UTKARSH: Then, I'm going to-- Do I go for the angel or do I go for the adjudicator?

EMILY: You probably have something ranged that you can go for the angel. We don't know how the adjudicator's looking yet.

TALIESIN: Judicator's got to be fucking rough!

UTKARSH: Almost done, right?

MATT: He's looking real rough.

UTKARSH: Okay, I'm going to go for the angel, then. I think--

AIMEE: Oh.

TALIESIN: Oh.

UTKARSH: What?

MATT: No. Whatever you feel.

TALIESIN: No, yep. Sorry.

UTKARSH: What?

MATT: What are you doing?

UTKARSH: What? What?

AIMEE: Nothing, nothing, nothing.

MATT: No, no. Nothing.

UTKARSH: No, no, no! Somebody tell me what that, "Up, up, up," was!

TALIESIN: It's fine.

UTKARSH: What was your, "Up, up, up?"

TALIESIN: It was live your life. You're good.

UTKARSH: No, no, no, no! I'm not doing shit!

EMILY: Up, up, and away! Can't wait to see your turn!

UTKARSH: No, no, no, no, no, no!

TALIESIN: Fire a spell. Let's see what you got!

MATT: What strategy--

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: You follow your strategy. If you feel whatever target is best beneficial to what you want to do, do it. Don't listen to them.

TALIESIN: No, no, no.

UTKARSH: No, no, no, no, no! That's not how teams work!

TALIESIN: I don't know what you got! You got shit. I don't know what you have. Do something crazy.

MATT: Unless one of you shouted something.

TALIESIN: I couldn't tell what he would be doing.

AIMEE: Yeah, I couldn't see him.

MATT: What do you want to do?

UTKARSH: Well, now I'm-- Fuck it! Just go. I'm going to--

MARISHA: Bor'Dor says to himself.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Fuck it! Just go!

UTKARSH: I think I will-- See, I was very confident. But now.

EMILY: I believe in you.

MARISHA: This is so fitting!

TALIESIN: I regret everything. I feel so bad.

AIMEE: No, I did it, too.

TALIESIN: I know.

UTKARSH: But why did you do it?

AIMEE: It's because I'm a fucking idiot! I don't know anything.

UTKARSH: Because the angel's going to fight back?

MATT: (laughs)

AIMEE: No.

TALIESIN: Just go do your thing.

LIAM: Have fun!

TALIESIN: Everything's going to fight back.

LIAM: Do what you would do in the moment as the guy, as the farmer.

EMILY: There is nothing you could do that would disappoint me, ever.

UTKARSH: I'm going to try and do another-- (groans) I'm going to do a Lightning Bolt at the alien.

AIMEE: At the alien angel.

MATT: At the angel?

EMILY: At the alien?

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Same thing.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Same thing, basically.

MATT: Basic 3rd-level?

UTKARSH: 4th-level.

MATT: Okay. 15 and a 13 dexterity saving throw.

MARISHA: Oh!

MATT: Spell DC is 16? Yeah. So full damage. Go ahead and roll it.

MARISHA: Yes!

AIMEE: Go, Bor'Dor!

EMILY: Come on! Let's get you--

MARISHA: 4th-level damage. So roll more.

MATT: 4th-level is 9d6.

AIMEE: Whoa!

EMILY: Just take some 9d6s.

MARISHA: Wait, I want to get in on this! Wait, how many do you have right now?

UTKARSH: One, two, three, four, five, six.

MARISHA: Here, just roll all mine because it's very satisfying.

EMILY: Yeah.

MATT: Yeah!

EMILY: There we go! We got something pretty good there.

AIMEE: Add it up! Add it up!

MARISHA: Yeah.

UTKARSH: 16, 18. 24. 25.

MATT: 25 points of lightning damage. (lightning crackling) The bolt strikes through and hits the top of the chamber and you watch as it ricochets. (flutters) It's grounding into the stone around it. The angel's wings fold in and it begins to plummet for a second before its wings open up again and it catches itself. As the wings (whooshes), the energy (whooshes) dissipates. It does not look plussed.

UTKARSH: Then I'm going to beep, beep, beep.

(laughs)

AIMEE: Pew, pew, pew! Pew, pew, pew!

MARISHA: It did not look plussed, as in, like--

MATT: Doesn't look happy that it got shot with a lightning bolt.

UTKARSH: I'm crouching and you can't see me.

MARISHA: (laughs)

UTKARSH: Until its next turn.

MATT: I can see some of you.

(laughs)

EMILY: Did it seem like it was chill with the lightning?

MATT: It seemed like it hurt.

EMILY: Yeah. Good, okay. Good!

AIMEE: Yeah, yeah, yeah! Good, good!

EMILY: Good, good, good!

MATT: Awesome! Does that finish your turn, Bor'Dor?

UTKARSH: Yeah, I think that's pretty much all I can do. Yeah.

MATT: Okay. This Judicator does not back down. It does not feel fear. And is-- It notices-- Actually, let me see.

AIMEE: Damn it!

MATT: Yeah, no. Being an entity trained to hunt those of arcane persuasions, it notices that the elemental is no longer driven in its form. The demon's a bit frustrating. You're the squishiest target nearby.

TALIESIN: That's true.

MATT: It's going to attack you.

LIAM: Disadvantage.

MATT: Because it's not you.

MARISHA: And minus d4.

AIMEE: Wait, why does--

LIAM: Because I used a technique--

MATT: Minus a two.

LIAM: Insulted its god.

MATT: Oof! Even with disadvantage, that puts it at 19. What's you AC?

TALIESIN: It's 17.

MATT: 17, so it still hits you. All right, second hit minus four on that one. With disadvantage, that puts it at 16.

TALIESIN: 16 misses. Dreadful Misfortune.

MATT: Okay. Whatever that does. I remember this one, right, where it hits itself?

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm using a chaos burst.

MARISHA: Don't hit yourself!

TALIESIN: Yeah. It has to attack against its own AC.

MATT: Okay, so first, it does to you.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: That is 14 points of bludgeoning damage, reduced to seven.

TALIESIN: (exhales)

MATT: And seven points of force damage.

TALIESIN: So 14 points.

MATT: 14 points. The second attack it has to make against itself, its own AC, which at natural 18, it does. At disadvantage because it's not you, technically. That's going to be an eight plus 10. So 18 minus two. It misses itself.

TALIESIN: Fuck!

MATT: This one, this is where Bane actually--

(groans)

UTKARSH: Wow!

MARISHA: They roll for themselves.

MATT: It punches you--

EMILY: Stop missing yourself!

MATT: -- swings wide, and--

TALIESIN: I was going to say--

MATT: -- then goes to punch itself and dodges its own strike.

TALIESIN: I was going to say, does it keep its disadvantage because, yeah. Yeah. No, okay.

MATT: Any target that's not him.

TALIESIN: Yeah, that's fair. That's fair.

LIAM: Glanced off his mask.

MATT: It's going to go for a third strike against you with disadvantage, minus one. Oh yeah. That's going to be 22.

TALIESIN: That hits.

LIAM: This thing's a tank!

MARISHA: How are you looking?

MATT: That is going to be nine reduced to four.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

LIAM: He's great.

MATT: And--

LIAM: They're great.

MATT: -- eight points of force damage.

TALIESIN: 12.

MATT: It is in a bad place. It's going to attempt to jump and leap off of the elemental.

MARISHA: My doggy gets--

MATT: Off the side.

EMILY: Wait, won't we get opportunity attack?

MARISHA: My doggy gets an opportunity attack.

MATT: The dog does, the demon does, and Ashton does, and the elemental does.

TALIESIN: I don't because I used my reaction--

MATT: That's true, to do that.

EMILY: Okay. 19 to hit.

MATT: 19 just hits.

MARISHA: 20 to hit.

MATT: That hits.

AIMEE: Yes! Finish him!

EMILY: Ooh. That's a 14 piercing damage!

MARISHA: Yes!

MATT: Elemental does not hit. 14 points of piercing damage?

EMILY: 14 piercing damage.

MARISHA: 16 piercing damage. He has to make a strength saving throw.

MATT: Well, how about the two of you tell me how you want to do this.

AIMEE: Yes!

(cheering)

AIMEE: Yay!

EMILY: I think a barlgura recognizes a fellow spirit of summonry.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah!

EMILY: And is like, "Let's fucking do this! Let's do this!"

MARISHA: Yeah, my dog is like--

MARISHA and EMILY: (unintelligible barking)

EMILY: Hey, fuckin' A! Let's fucking do this! Let's do this! Then they chest bump him back and forth.

(laughter)

EMILY and MARISHA: Huh! Huh!

MATT: Goes to jump away, he's like-- He gets "Night at the Roxbury"-d to death. Is that what happens?

AIMEE: Yes!

MARISHA: Yeah!

AIMEE: Oh my god! Yes!

MATT: Wow!

MARISHA: That's great!

AIMEE: That's so good!

(laughter)

LIAM: It's a dog and a demon?

MARISHA: Yeah!

LIAM: That's amazing!

EMILY: That's the new rock and a hard place between a dog and a demon.

UTKARSH: Yes!

LIAM: That's D&D!

MATT: The Judicator, one of the most feared creations of the temples of Vasselheim crumbles beneath the bro chest bumping power of two summoned entities here in the middle of the temple of the Dawnfather. Perfect!

UTKARSH: Wow!

MARISHA: Then, as he dies, my dog looks at the demon, holds out his paw and gives him a little fist bump, and then, the demon would know, but my dog is just like, "I have renewed purpose today." Then he looks up and he just evaporates.

AIMEE: Aw!

MARISHA: Because that's it. When the person he's hunting dies, he goes away.

EMILY: Oh! Okay, the barlgura. I know I'm not technically allowed to say this, a single tear falls from the barlgura as he pops pecs and it just falls and splashes from one popping pec to the other.

(laughter)

MATT: Just ping pongs it a little bit?

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Remember that "Top Gun" volleyball scene.

MATT: Perfect. I love it.

UTKARSH: Which we've seen many times.

MATT: ♪ Bow bow bow ♪

TALIESIN: ♪ Bow bow ♪

MATT: ♪ Bow bow bow ♪ All right, cool. That's going to finish the Judicator's turn.

EMILY: Everything I just did is fully within the realm of the spell and I'm allowed to narrate how he feels.

AIMEE: Why not?

MATT: All right. Some of the civilians charge in and begin to retrieve the body of the now dead Kiro and pull it out of the way, not wanting to get in the middle of this chaos here.

EMILY: Okay.

MATT: That brings us to the top of the round. Orym, you're up.

LIAM: Oh jeez!

AIMEE: So the only dude we got left is the angel?

MATT: The angel. Yeah.

MARISHA: The two potential summons that might turn on us.

AIMEE: Right.

MARISHA: But for now, the angel.

LIAM: Man! Man, there's not much I can do.

MATT: I'll tell you what, it's been a little over two hours.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Let's take a mid-combat break here and we'll start the top of the round. So that people can use the restroom.

EMILY: Whoa!

TALIESIN: Whoa!

EMILY: I actually have had to pee for a while.

AIMEE: Everybody has to, too.

TALIESIN: Roll for bladder control.

MATT: We'll come back at the top of the round here shortly. Just hang tight. We'll pick up the middle of this temple conflict in a little bit. See you in a minute. (fantasy music) (mysterious music) Hey Critters! Laura Bailey here to guide you through what's new in the Critical Role shop. The cuteness! It's overpowering. Look at this. Isn't it fashion. So much fashion happening here. Style should never be a dump stat, darling. I mean the Traveler always says impulse purchases are a good decision. Ooo! Look at this! Look at the details! Ooo! It's the little things in life. And hey if you want, you could head over to the Critical Role shop right now.

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Part II
MATT: And welcome back. So top of the combat round, you're up, Orym.

AIMEE: No!

LIAM: Orym looks at the chaos of this church right now, looks over and sees an angel, a representative of the Dawnfather shining above them. There is a giant rock creature representing all the spirits of Exandria and the earth and there is a honkin' devil--

EMILY: (laughs)

LIAM: -- in the center of the church.

MARISHA: This is chaos.

LIAM: Orym says: Shit. He books it towards the devil.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Let's go.

MATT: You have to vault over, or actually move through, or--

LIAM: Yeah, I'll go under anyone's legs I have to.

TALIESIN: Orym, Orym. Orym!

AIMEE: Where'd he go?

MATT: Where are you going?

LIAM: I say: My name's Orym, what's yours? And I scamper up his back and squat like I'm mounting a horse for battle.

MARISHA: Still polite.

(laughter)

AIMEE: I'm your bestie!

MARISHA and EMILY: (laugh)

LIAM: I say: I think we've got to go up, big guy. I'm going to hold my action in case my mount gets me anywhere near the angel.

MATT: That's great. As you climb it, it brings its hand up, its claws these long daggers pull up like it's ready to dig into you and (restrained growls). You crawl up onto its back and its musculature of its shoulders is massive and fur-covered, but bits of the flesh come through like a blubbery rubber texture--

AIMEE: Oh, hell.

MATT: -- as you grab onto the fur. The smell is atrocious. It's a mixture of sulfur and rotting vegetation. It growls at you as you climb up its back, but it allows you to for the time being.

AIMEE: That's a nice mix.

LIAM: What's your name? Is it Doug or Aloysius, or--

MATT: (whimpers)

(laughter)

TALIESIN: It's really hard to pronounce.

MARISHA: Tooty?

(laughter)

AIMEE: Tooty?

EMILY: Tooty?

LIAM: Tooty? That's his name. It's Tooty.

(laughter)

MATT: Get to it, Tooty.

LIAM: Okay, and I hold my action.

MATT: All right. You hold your action. You got it. All right. That finishes Orym's go. Ashton, you're up, with Deni$e on deck.

TALIESIN: How's that elemental looking right now?

MATT: Elemental has taken a little bit of damage, but it's still standing strong.

TALIESIN: The vibe, though? I'm just talking about a general emotional vibe.

MATT: Make an insight check.

TALIESIN: Oh cool. I'm so excited for this.

LIAM: Vibe check.

TALIESIN: This is everything I ever wanted.

EMILY: Vibe check.

AIMEE: Vibe check.

TALIESIN: Vibe check.

EMILY: Pop the pecs.

MARISHA: Come on.

EMILY: Vibe check.

TALIESIN: Eight.

MATT: Eight.

AIMEE: (laughs) Fuck.

MATT: Nothing has really changed.

TALIESIN: (sigh)

UTKARSH: He's lying.

TALIESIN: Just because I want to see where the fuck everything is. All right, in an attempt to just maintain as many people as I can-- Oh, I'm close enough to him that I can stick around everybody. I'm going to get his attention.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: I don't know if there's anybody in there, but we got to get these people out of your home. We're saving everything. Can you toss me up there?

UTKARSH: Wow!

EMILY: (laughs)

MARISHA: Are you speaking in Primordial?

TALIESIN: I am.

MARISHA: Amazing.

AIMEE: Yes.

MARISHA: Amazeballs.

EMILY: Hot.

UTKARSH: He's going to Wolverine you.

EMILY: This is hot.

AIMEE: That's hot.

TALIESIN: I'm going to hold my action for whatever the fuck happens.

MATT: The elemental, which unbeknownst to you at this point, the chains of magic that have bound it, brought it to this world and bound it have a since faded and where you saw once this crystal cerulean blue glow in its eyes upon its arrival now has gone to a dull storm-born gray. As it looks at you with this intense glance, it brings its fist back like a massive battering ram and as the mist begins to pour from its eyes like you saw that once poured from the sides of the forest, it reaches out and grabs you--

TALIESIN: All right.

MARISHA: (gasp)

MATT: -- and attempts to throw you.

AIMEE: Yeah!

MARISHA: Oh!

TALIESIN: Bortles! All right.

AIMEE: Hey oh!

MARISHA: Fastball special!

MATT: The spirits of the forest maintaining the connection where the spell was lost. So it's going to need a strength check.

TALIESIN: Plus a d4. Oh wait, no. That's a save or an attack. Never mind.

UTKARSH: 20?

AIMEE: No, Matt.

MARISHA: 20? What is it?

AIMEE: Oh!

LIAM: That's a 20, that's a 20.

TALIESIN: A 20 or a one.

MARISHA: It's got to be-- Yeah.

EMILY: I think it should be a one. I vote one.

MATT: There's too many of them.

TALIESIN: (laughs)

AIMEE: What is it?!

MATT: Too many 20s. This is ridiculous.

MARISHA: (grunts)

EMILY: Wait, but that's good. We like that.

MATT: That's great. That's good for you, that's good for you.

AIMEE: There's just too many 20s.

MATT: Too many 20s. Between these two d20s tonight, I've just been rolling them constantly.

EMILY: I'm not used to it.

TALIESIN: Oh my god.

EMILY: I'm not used to it.

LIAM: I mean, it's good on the way up.

AIMEE: Jonathon Crawford.

LIAM: I don't know about on the way down.

TALIESIN: I don't give a fuck on the way down.

MATT: (powerful whoosh)

UTKARSH: I'll catch you!

MATT: Chucks you up.

MARISHA: Hope he catches-- Yeah.

MATT: Full-on speedball special, just (jet stream force). Your lips (flapping) in the air behind you.

UTKARSH: (laughing) Hey!

AIMEE: (wacky flapping)

MATT: You go flying in the air towards the angel. You will be able to get-- I'll put it this way. You can take one attack and have advantage on trying to land or take both your attacks and have no roll and just take the full falling damage.

AIMEE: Oh boy.

LIAM: No question.

UTKARSH: Take the fall.

TALIESIN: I was going to go reckless anyway, so I'll take the two attacks.

EMILY: Yeah!

MATT: All righty, go ahead.

UTKARSH: Up, up, up. Up, up, up!

MATT: Take your two strikes with advantage.

MARISHA: Come on.

TALIESIN: Also, I was hoping my first strike, I want to try and specifically fuck the wings up. I want to bring him down.

UTKARSH: Wow.

MATT: Okay.

AIMEE: Yes.

EMILY: Ooh!

TALIESIN: So I'm trying to hit right in the back.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Flipping up, spinning around, taking that hit.

MATT: Go for it.

AIMEE: How far up is he?

TALIESIN: Natural 20.

AIMEE: Yeah!

MARISHA: Oh!

(cheering)

EMILY: Yes! Yes!

AIMEE: Do it, do it, do it!

MATT: (laughs)

AIMEE: Do it, do it!

MATT: All right, let's roll some dice.

MARISHA: We don't need the fucking Dawnfather.

AIMEE: (laughs) Yeah.

EMILY: Dawnfather? More like Done-Father. There's another one.

MATT: Look at that! There's two in the chamber.

EMILY: Bor'Dor said that!

(laughter)

AIMEE: Bor'Dor said it!

(laughter continues)

TALIESIN: That's also a brutal critical, which means I get one additional--

AIMEE: What does that mean?

TALIESIN: -- d6 extra damage.

MATT: You do indeed.

AIMEE: More damage.

MATT: Actually the d6 isn't doubled, but you add that at the end.

TALIESIN: I add that and then-- Oh.

LIAM: Plus, the d6s are really large.

TALIESIN: The d6 is doubled or not?

MATT: No, it's not. You roll, double, and then add the d6.

EMILY: They really are.

TALIESIN: Then add the d6. Okay.

MATT: Go for it.

TALIESIN: Come on, come on.

MARISHA: He built a custom barbarian subclass.

TALIESIN: Okay.

EMILY: Oh, honey.

LIAM: Nice!

TALIESIN: Fuck me. Okay.

EMILY: That's so big, I could see the dice from here.

TALIESIN: Eight times two is 16.

MARISHA: Like a chaos barbarian.

UTKARSH: Come on!

TALIESIN: Plus eight is 24.

UTKARSH: Come on!

TALIESIN: Plus six is--

MATT: 30.

TALIESIN: 30 points of damage.

UTKARSH: Doubled.

MARISHA: Yeah!

EMILY: Yes! Yes!

AIMEE: Oh my gosh.

MARISHA: Yeah, is that doubled?

MATT: A heavy--

TALIESIN: That was doubled.

MATT: That was the doubled dice.

MATT: That was the way up. You slam it as you're going for the back, there's a heavy crack sound and you see its wings go rigid for a second from the impact. You arc up and the momentum stops and now you're coming for the descent strike.

AIMEE: Yeah, baby.

TALIESIN: All right.

EMILY: A murder rainbow.

TALIESIN: Coming straight down.

MATT: (laughs)

EMILY: (laughs)

AIMEE: Murder rainbow.

EMILY: Murder rainbow.

TALIESIN: All right, here we go.

AIMEE: It's like a regular rainbow, but death-ier.

TALIESIN: Oh boy.

MARISHA: A time and space barbarian.

UTKARSH: Oh my god.

MARISHA: So he can make portals.

TALIESIN: That'll do. That is a 26 to hit.

MATT: That hits.

EMILY: Oh my god.

MATT: Go ahead and roll damage.

EMILY: I'm in love with it.

UTKARSH: Why wouldn't you just open your portal and make them go away?

AIMEE: Ashton for the win.

MARISHA: Whenever he goes into a rage--

AIMEE: ♪ Reading Rainbow ♪

MARISHA: -- he rolls a d4.

TALIESIN: 15 points of damage.

EMILY: More like Bleeding Rainbow with the way he's--

MATT: 15 points of damage.

UTKARSH: That's so cool.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: You fall from its range as it takes the second hit.

MARISHA: Doesn't have the portals today.

MATT: It spins around with its blade and strikes down to try and get an attack of opportunity against you as you leave its combat range.

AIMEE: What?

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

MATT: It does have advantage because of reckless.

AIMEE: Doesn't it have one wing?

MATT: That's going to put it at a 23 to hit.

TALIESIN: Sure.

MATT: All right, so with that, its longsword strikes you for--

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm? Whoa, whoa, is it just a longsword attack?

MATT: It's just a flaming longsword.

TALIESIN: Oh, in that case, let's-- Oh, it did hit. Never mind, let's keep rolling.

MATT: (laughs) Okay.

TALIESIN: Nevermind.

MATT: That's okay. That's going to be 11 points of slashing damage reduced to five.

TALIESIN: Five.

LIAM: Creature from Hell is probably your best bet at getting way up there.

UTKARSH: Couldn't you just trap it in your storage?

MATT: 14 points of radiant damage.

TALIESIN: Okay, so that's 19 points of damage.

AIMEE: Oi.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

MARISHA: Throw it in the hole?

MATT: You continue your plummet.

TALIESIN: Doing some damage.

UTKARSH: Couldn't you just put the hole--

MARISHA: Can we take the hole and--

LIAM: I'm not against it.

MATT: Slamming down 50 feet into the ground.

AIMEE: 50 feet?

MATT: Wham! Cracking the ground with a heavy (crash).

TALIESIN: I roll to... Don't I get an athletics check to see if I can--

MATT: I said you can take one attack and get a check or you can do both attacks and get none.

TALIESIN: Okay. I misread that, but fine.

UTKARSH: Can I put Barbary Barbs on it?

MATT: Yeah, that was the thing.

MARISHA: (laughs) You get two strikes and then you're finished.

TALIESIN: All right, all right.

MARISHA: Barbary Barbs?

EMILY: Barbary Barbs. Do the Barber trick.

TALIESIN: I do not go unconscious. That would really suck. It'll be hard.

MARISHA: I can't do it. It's not like that.

MATT: It'll be hard. No, that brings us to--

MARISHA: Barbary Barbs.

MATT: 16 points of bludgeoning damage reduced to eight.

TALIESIN: That'll do it.

UTKARSH: Yay!

MARISHA: It's fine.

TALIESIN: I'm going to spend the rest of my-- Where does that leave me?

MATT: (heavy impact) Prone on the ground right there.

UTKARSH: Shit.

MATT: Full-on (heavy thud). With those little cracks around your body.

TALIESIN: I haven't spent much of my movement, so I'm going to get the fuck up.

MATT: Okay.

AIMEE: That's what I'm saying.

TALIESIN: Where is everybody?

MATT: So you have, I'll say 15 more feet you can move.

TALIESIN: Yeah, as long as I'm within 10 feet of a few people.

MATT: There's Orym.

AIMEE: But that was his turn.

MATT: There's Prism and there's Deni$e.

TALIESIN: I'll be 10 feet away from Prism.

MATT: Okay, so you move right there.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: You got it.

TALIESIN: Did that fuck him up and bring him down at all or no?

MATT: It took a heavy hit off of him and it probably brought him down about five, 10 feet.

TALIESIN: All right. I'll take it, I'll take it.

MATT: Okay, does that finish your turn?

TALIESIN: Yeah, yeah, fuck.

MATT: Deni$e, you're up. Laudna, you're on deck.

MARISHA: Okay.

AIMEE: I don't know--

LIAM: Live your dream, Deni$e.

AIMEE: -- what the fuck to do as a melee fighter with 31 hit points left.

LIAM: Get creative.

EMILY: I think there's room on the barlgura.

AIMEE: Well, yes.

EMILY: For a halfling and a dwarf.

AIMEE: How far am I from the (garbled) barlgura?

MATT: The (garbled) barlgura?

AIMEE: Yes.

MATT: You are 20 feet from it, 25 feet technically.

AIMEE: 20 feet, oh god. Okay, well what if I use--

TALIESIN: I'm standing around shit. Cool.

AIMEE: Okay, I'm going to use my movement to get--

LIAM: What did we say?

AIMEE: This is going to hopefully go well. But you know a seesaw when you jump on the one and then someone's on the other side?

MATT: Yeah.

AIMEE: Hopefully it'll shoot you up.

MARISHA: The crotch-breaker?

AIMEE: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Wow.

AIMEE: Can I try that?

MARISHA: Dude.

AIMEE: On the tail of the schmargur-schmarks?

MATT: (laughs) The barlgura I don't believe has a long tail.

AIMEE: Oh, it doesn't have a tail?

MATT: Not this one.

EMILY: No. You can actually look at him. Here he is.

AIMEE: Oh, let's look at him.

EMILY: He's pretty cute. He's like a--

MATT: He's like a big demon gorilla guy.

AIMEE: Oh, there's no tail!

MATT: Orym is on his shoulders, on his back.

AIMEE: Right, okay. Well, I mean, there's really nothing for me to do but get on behind Orym.

MATT: You're going to climb it as well?

AIMEE: Yeah, and then I guess I'll just hold my action because what is there to do?

MATT: All righty. So from that point you're now--

AIMEE: It's too high up, the angel.

MATT: So with that, you are both now grappled onto the edges, both holding onto each shoulder of the barlgura.

AIMEE: Yeah, yeah.

LIAM: Does it have horns?

EMILY: No, just huge tusks, though.

MATT: A big jaw, yeah.

EMILY: You could grab onto those tusks, if you need to.

LIAM: We'll just hold onto the hair.

AIMEE: If I took my whip--

TALIESIN: Falkor this shit.

AIMEE: If I took my whip and horsey-ed it, do you think it would turn against me? Probably.

EMILY: Yeah.

MATT: Only one way to find out.

AIMEE: No, I'm not. I was just thinking out loud. I'll hold my action.

MATT: I understand. Okay. So finishing that go, holding your action, that brings us to Laudna.

MARISHA: All right. I see what they're setting up. I'm going to skitter forward. As I pass--

UTKARSH: Wow.

MARISHA: Abracadabra, I'm going to look at her and go--

UTKARSH: Abaddina.

MARISHA: If you're not going to help, then heal.

AIMEE: Yeah, fucking useless.

EMILY: (laughs)

AIMEE: Just the worst.

MARISHA: I'm going to crouch and stick my head out, looking at the angel. I'm going to use my bonus action to Hex. So still using the blood--

AIMEE: Yes.

MATT: -- that Prism set up that splattered against the wall, I'm going to have that reach out and you see a haloed shackle form around the angel.

MATT: Okay.

AIMEE: Yes.

MARISHA: And with that, I'm going to give him disadvantage on strength checks.

MATT: You got it.

EMILY: Yeah.

LIAM: (groaning) Oh.

MARISHA: Then--

LIAM: His fur is too greasy.

MATT: I know.

MARISHA: For my action, while he's up there all by his lonesome, I'm going to just full rage as Laudna is starting to crack, send a Fireball up into the ceiling.

AIMEE: Yes!

MATT: Fireball into the ceiling. Okay.

MARISHA: A Fireball just for him.

MATT: You got it.

MARISHA: His own custom fire experience.

AIMEE: (laughs)

EMILY: So cute.

AIMEE: Whose birthday is it?

MARISHA: (laughs)

AIMEE: His!

MARISHA: It's his.

MATT: A 22 on the save.

MARISHA: Fuck!

AIMEE: Damn it.

MARISHA: He saved.

UTKARSH: Damn.

MATT: This guy cannot stay on. Really this mini was not designed to have multiple other minis on it.

LIAM: Can she go up top?

AIMEE: It's Deni$e's heels.

LIAM: Can Orym go to the side?

MATT: I'll just put it right there, that'll work.

MARISHA: I'm going to steal some of your d6s. He takes half damage, right?

MATT: He takes half damage, yeah.

MARISHA: Okay. Eight.

UTKARSH: Nice.

MATT: There we go. That'll work fine.

MARISHA: 10, 11.

MATT: I'm just dedicated to making this work.

EMILY: (laughs)

UTKARSH: Heck yeah.

EMILY: It looks really good.

MARISHA: 11, 16, 17, 18, 22 damage halved.

MATT: 11.

(explosion)

MARISHA: A little weak sauce for--

MATT: It's all good.

MARISHA: -- for a 3rd-level spell.

MATT: The entire upper region of this temple is immersed in flames as the explosion surrounds the flying entity.

UTKARSH: Nice!

LIAM: Wow.

MATT: The flames disperse. He shakes it off a little bit.

UTKARSH: No way.

EMILY: No, it doesn't care about fire?

MATT: It took a little bit of damage, but it's strange. An angel of the god of the sun--

MARISHA: Sure.

MATT: -- seemed to be a little less ready to take the full brunt of a Fireball.

MARISHA: (frustrated groan)

UTKARSH: That makes sense.

LIAM: The DM's getting cheeky.

MARISHA: I'm going to keep my eyes on him, though just in case-ies.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: After I learned my lesson with the last Counterspell situation.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: That's my turn.

MATT: No worries. So you're going to stay there looking out, peering through the side?

MARISHA: I want to make sure I have eyes on him.

MATT: You got it. Okay, cool. Finishing your go, it is now the elemental's turn.

EMILY: Oh my.

AIMEE: Oh my, be nice to us.

MATT: The elemental--

LIAM: I've never missed my past caster status as much as I have in this encounter.

AIMEE: Oh dude.

TALIESIN: This encounter has just--

AIMEE: I'm like, where's Opal?

MARISHA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Where's-- Yeah.

MATT: The elemental is going to attempt to leap to leap and clamber onto this pillar.

AIMEE: Oh yeah!

MATT: Try and climb up.

AIMEE: You could get on the barlgura.

TALIESIN: Within 10 feet of me?

AIMEE: I thought there was a roof on it.

TALIESIN: No, it wouldn't matter.

MATT: No, it doesn't.

UTKARSH: Oh, he's running away?

MATT: It leaps and starts trying to climb up the side of the pillar, manages to do so, but it takes its full movement to get up towards where it is. So it doesn't get an actual attack.

MARISHA: Can't earth ellies Earth Glide?

MATT: Earth Glide is is unworked--

MARISHA: Unworked stone.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: You're right.

MATT: So it does climb to the top of the pillar and is now holding up to that upper area.

EMILY: Oh, shoot.

MATT: But that's its turn. Finishing that go, it is now the angel's go.

UTKARSH: Fuck me.

AIMEE: Ugh, god.

UTKARSH: Bye-bye.

AIMEE: I'm scared.

UTKARSH: Guys, it was fun.

MATT: The angel, extremely frustrated with the circumstance, is going to float, fly over to this side.

AIMEE: Fuck.

MATT: Up to the top and bring its sword up once more, ignite the blade. (flame crackles) Aim it downward and (fiery explosion).

MARISHA: Counterspell.

EMILY: Yes!

AIMEE: Yes.

MATT: Okay. What's the range on that? 60 feet, right?

MARISHA: Correct.

MATT: Let me see the wheel. Oh yeah, you're within the range.

AIMEE: Ah shit. Made it worse.

MATT: You are within the range.

AIMEE: My nails.

LIAM: (laughs)

EMILY: (laughs)

MATT: All right.

EMILY: At least you didn't lose one this time.

MARISHA: Shit.

MATT: Yep. You said you were peering through. 60-foot range on that.

UTKARSH: What did you say?

TALIESIN: Oh yeah.

MATT: Yeah, you're definitely within the range. Okay, yeah, with that, the Fireball is dispelled.

EMILY: (fingers snap)

ALL: (relieved sighs)

AIMEE: Bye!

EMILY: Huge!

MATT: It scatters out of the air.

TALIESIN: That would've gone real bad.

AIMEE: Deni$e would've been dead. Dead, dead, dead.

MARISHA: (laughs)

AIMEE: She would've been dead.

EMILY: That was awesome.

TALIESIN: That would've been rough.

MARISHA: Okay.

EMILY: That was awesome.

MATT: Finishing its go, Prism, you're up.

EMILY: Okay. I'm going to say to the barlgura: You climb up that, shimmy up that. Use your long jump or your big old jump and you shimmy up that pole and you use all your movement if you have to to get them up there, but I think you can get up there, and what I want you to do is I want you to use your attacks to grab him and grapple him and hold him so he can't fly away.

AIMEE: Yes.

MATT: (grunts)

EMILY: Because you are a demon and in this fight, in this ancient age-old rivalry of demons versus angels, you're going to fucking win.

MATT: (roars) (grunts)

(laughter)

EMILY: Then I'm going to also throw a Chromatic Orb.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Plus a Chromatic Orb.

EMILY: Yeah.

MATT: Just for good measure.

EMILY: Just going to try. For good measure, going to try a 2nd-level Chromatic Orb. That's a nat one.

MARISHA: Oh!

(laughter)

AIMEE: Oh no!

MATT: It was fantastic conversation.

EMILY: Fantastic conversation, I go (warbles).

(laughter)

EMILY: Then I'm going to also move him closer, move Dynios closer. I'm going to hide behind a pillar and then it's the barlgura's turn, which is actually more important than my turn right now.

MATT: All righty.

UTKARSH: Nicely done.

EMILY: I want him to, he's got-- He's got a running start, he can jump up to 20 feet.

AIMEE: Yes.

EMILY: He's got 40 feet of climb speed.

AIMEE: Whoa.

MATT: So you can go 40 feet up the side.

AIMEE: Yeah.

MATT: I'll say probably a running start up the side of the pillar and then leap this way.

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: Make an athletics check.

EMILY: Okay.

MATT: For me.

MARISHA: Come on!

AIMEE: You want this one?

EMILY: Athletics, athletics. Okay, you just got me a one, but--

AIMEE: You want this one?

EMILY: I'm interested if you gave me a one.

AIMEE: All right.

EMILY: Athletics, you have a--

MATT: Just add a strength bonus--

TALIESIN: I'm not looking, I'm not looking.

LIAM: -- if it lands on us.

EMILY: That's a nine.

MATT: That's a nine, all right. Climbs up. (grunts)

MATT: Manages to get up to its space, but the leap is a challenging one for you both to hold onto. I need both of you to make strength saving throws to see if you can hold on to the barlgura.

LIAM: Strength.

AIMEE: Strength. Fuck.

LIAM: Mm.

MATT: Or athletics. Athletics would be the--

AIMEE: Okay.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: -- the physicality on this one.

AIMEE: Okay, so a d20.

LIAM: Can I try to surf and hold? (chuckles) No. Oh, good.

AIMEE: Hold on.

MARISHA: Matt.

LIAM: 22.

MATT: 22.

AIMEE: Wait!

MARISHA: Go ahead.

AIMEE: (counting quietly) 16.

MATT: 16, okay. 15 was the DC on the fall on that one. So both of you hold on even though the force of it pushing off, the extremely volatile means of its movement becomes very challenging to hold onto, but you both keep your grip clean.

AIMEE: Deni$e's claws.

MATT: As it bounds off the pillar, (grunts) leaps up toward the creature. Both of you can take your attacks on it, if you'd like.

EMILY: Yeah!

MARISHA: Come on!

AIMEE: All right, you first.

MARISHA: He takes an extra four points of damage from my Hex that I forgot to count.

UTKARSH: Yeah.

MATT: Good to know.

LIAM: I'm going to the wing. One of the wings looks injured and I've-- Super conflicted about it, but I'm going to slash away at that wing.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Here we go. First one--

MARISHA: Slash away.

LIAM: -- is a 22.

MATT: 22 hits.

LIAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: Keep track of this.

LIAM: I'm going to make it a basic so that is 11.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: The second slash, a miss. No, that's a-- Well, probably misses. 17.

MATT: Okay, 17 does not hit, unfortunately.

LIAM: Okay, great! Had no right to hit anything.

AIMEE: Okay, I'm going to take my sickle and hook onto that injured wing.

MATT: Okay.

AIMEE: Or I'm going to try to. That's going to be a 20 to hit, right?

MATT: 20 definitely hits.

AIMEE: 10 plus that.

LIAM: Yeah.

AIMEE: 20 to hit. Okay, and then I roll a d8.

MATT: Technically, because you are in melee with an ally, you do get sneak attack on this.

LIAM: Sneak attack.

EMILY: Ooh, yeah!

AIMEE: Okay, so a d8 plus eight and this, yeah?

LIAM: Yeah.

AIMEE: Okay. Ah, fuck!

LIAM: Oh my gosh, Carrero!

AIMEE: Wait, that's a--

AIMEE and LIAM: (laugh)

AIMEE: A 12 plus-- Oh! Six!

LIAM: Nice.

AIMEE: So that's an 18.

MATT: Okay. It's 2d8 for your sneak attack.

MARISHA: (laughs)

AIMEE: 2d8?

MATT: Yeah. So 18 plus?

MARISHA: Come on.

AIMEE: Seven.

MARISHA: That's good.

EMILY and UTKARSH: 25.

AIMEE: 25.

LIAM: That's great.

MATT: Are you rolling d6s or d8s?

AIMEE: This is a d8, and I rolled a d6. I thought the d6 was your sneak attack.

MATT: Sorry, that's what I'm saying. The sneak attack is what you roll 2d6 on.

AIMEE: Oh, I rolled two-- Okay, so the first d8 was an eight plus my--

MATT: Right.

AIMEE: Plus eight so that's 16.

MATT: Which is 16.

AIMEE: And I had a six for my d6.

MATT: Right. Correct, and then you roll an additional d6 because it's 2d6.

AIMEE: Gotcha.

MARISHA: Math on the stream.

AIMEE: A 28, so there's the three. So that would be 28?

MATT: So it's a 16-- Or no. 16 plus six.

AIMEE: Plus six plus--

MATT: So that's 22 plus three is 25.

AIMEE: Plus three. 25, my bad.

MATT: Got it, no worries.

LIAM: I love dice.

AIMEE: Woo!

MATT: 25 on that strike, (blade slashing) and you have one more attack, if you'd like to take it.

AIMEE: I have one more attack!

UTKARSH: (sighing) Uh.

AIMEE: Here we go!

UTKARSH: Math is the hardest.

AIMEE: 17.

MATT: 17, unfortunately, does not hit.

AIMEE: Doesn't hit.

UTKARSH: Damn!

MATT: So you both strike once and you both hit the side of its armor and it streaks off as the arc comes to full height. What is the barlgura doing?

EMILY: So he has an action. Could he cast Entangle? He has Entangle for some reason.

MARISHA: No fucking way!

EMILY: Could he cast Entangle to Entangle them onto--

LIAM: Oh, does his chest hair grow out?

UTKARSH and EMILY: (laugh)

UTKARSH: Yeesh.

EMILY: Just so that they're all Entangled to the--

MATT: Weeds and vines sprout from the ground, unfortunately.

EMILY: Oh, okay, okay.

MATT: This is one of those instances where that will not specifically have an effect, unfortunately.

EMILY: Okay.

LIAM: With a range of 90 feet?

MARISHA: Yeah.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Once he's down, that'll help.

MATT: Once he's down, yes.

EMILY: If that is the case, would it be possible to grapple us to him? Use all of my actions to try and grapple the angel.

MATT: Yes, you may.

EMILY: So that it can't fly away from us.

MATT: That is contested strength rolls.

EMILY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: So...

MATT: Against you and the creature.

MARISHA: He has disadvantage.

EMILY: He has disadvantage.

AIMEE: Disadvantage. What a smarty pants.

MATT: Indeed.

EMILY: Yeah!

MATT: Indeed. So roll a strength--

EMILY: Then can he do it recklessly?

MATT: I mean, it's an attack, technically, but it's a strength check as opposed to an attack roll.

EMILY: Okay, gotcha. Okay.

MATT: So just roll a strength check.

EMILY: Okay, okay.

MARISHA: Come on.

LIAM: It's pretty decent.

MARISHA: Come on, barlgura.

EMILY: Come on, honey.

AIMEE: (garbled) Barlgura.

MARISHA: (laughing) Yeah, yeah.

EMILY: Okay!

MARISHA: Oh, oh!

LIAM: Come on.

EMILY: Dirty 20.

MATT: Dirty 20?

(grappling claws)

AIMEE: Yeah!

MATT: Grapples on.

LIAM and TALIESIN: Hey!

MATT: And just like that.

(laughter)

MATT: Just like that.

LIAM: Did the mini survive?

AIMEE: Later I got to thinking.

MATT: It did.

MATT and EMILY: (laugh)

MATT: Grabs the side.

AIMEE: She got it.

MATT: With the full weight of it, the angel comes crashing to the ground with all of you on its back.

EMILY: Yeah!

(crashing)

AIMEE: Yeah!

MATT: You both fall off the sides.

LIAM: Ooh, yep.

MATT: Falling prone from the impact of the fall.

AIMEE: Oh wait!

MARISHA: Let's fucking go.

AIMEE: I don't think I can be prone. My Mountain Reach, Mountain-ness.

EMILY: Yeah, you can't be prone.

AIMEE: I have Mountain something.

MATT: While you're raging, right?

AIMEE: Yes!

EMILY: So Deni$e lands gorgeously.

MATT: So yeah. So you land--

AIMEE: Spirit of the Mountain!

MATT: Full on three-point landing-- (heroic crash)

AIMEE: Yeah, yeah!

MATT: -- on the ground. You still take the fall damage.

AIMEE: That's fine.

MATT: Okay. So that is 12 points of bludgeoning damage to each of you.

TALIESIN: Halved.

MATT: As well as to the angel and the barlgura.

LIAM: ♪ Calling all angels ♪

AIMEE: (laughs)

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: All right, all right.

AIMEE: This doesn't work.

EMILY: The angel's still grappled, right?

MATT: Correct.

EMILY: Okay, so he--

MATT: The angel's movement is zero unless it breaks the grapple.

LIAM: This fight is bonkers.

EMILY: ♪ When angels deserve to die ♪

(laughter)

AIMEE: What song was that now?

TALIESIN: Now that Grasping Vine's going to be close enough.

MATT: (tune of "Chop Suey") ♪ Wake up ♪ ♪ Barlgura's going to ♪ grab a little angel ♪ ♪ Jump on the ground, ♪ going to maim him ♪

(laughter)

MATT: ♪ Hold him on the top of the table ♪

(laughter)

AIMEE: Hey, did you hear MTV's going under?

LIAM: (sadly) Oh.

MATT: (sadly) Oh.

AIMEE: Oh, I just brought down the fucking mood.

(laughter)

UTKARSH: Is it really?

TALIESIN: Everyone has disadvantage now.

AIMEE: It's dead.

MATT: Yeah, yeah, yep. (groans)

TALIESIN: The entire generation has disadvantage.

AIMEE: ♪ Angels deserve to die ♪

MATT: Oh man.

TALIESIN: All right.

EMILY: That's what the barlgura sings. (laughs)

MATT: Okay. All right, cool.

TALIESIN: The internet killed the video star.

EMILY: Oh, and now we have to find out if he turns on us.

MATT: Oh yeah.

AIMEE: Oh god.

LIAM: That ain't working. ♪ That's the way you do it ♪

EMILY: Shout out to the tune crew. He does not!

MATT: Yeah, all righty.

MARISHA: Yeah!

EMILY: That's his charisma save to fight me.

MATT: Yeah.

AIMEE: Love it.

EMILY: But he failed.

LIAM: So he failed.

EMILY: So we good.

LIAM: Oh, so that's good.

EMILY: So we like him failing.

LIAM: So fail is good.

EMILY: A fail is good.

AIMEE: We love the fail.

LIAM: I'm really curious to have him attack.

MATT: So finishing the barlgura's turn, it's going to be the soldiers, which have all fled. That brings us to Bor'Dor.

AIMEE: Scaredy pants.

UTKARSH: What am I going to do?

AIMEE: Shitty pants.

UTKARSH: Okay, I guess--

EMILY: Is the angel prone?

MATT: The angel is currently prone.

EMILY: Angel's prone you have advantage on the angel.

MATT: On attack rolls, yeah.

UTKARSH: I've got dagger and a crossbow.

LIAM: (laughs)

EMILY: Well, actually, the crossbow would be disadvantage.

MARISHA: And some spellses.

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: And random crazy magic?

MARISHA: And random magic.

UTKARSH: Okay, fuck it. I'm going to go--

EMILY: (laughs)

UTKARSH: I'm going to go--

EMILY: Dagger.

UTKARSH: I think I should go--

EMILY: (laughs)

UTKARSH: Wait, are you supposed to move it or can I move it?

MATT: You can move it if you're close enough, yeah.

LIAM: Sorry.

EMILY: (laughs)

UTKARSH: I don't know if I should help Deni$e. Guys, I don't give a shit. I'm going right up to him.

AIMEE: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

UTKARSH: I'm going to grab both sides of the angel's head because I've never felt one before.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Oh boy.

(laughter)

LIAM: He was herding goats 48 hours ago.

MARISHA: Yeah.

AIMEE: Yeah, truly.

LIAM: And now he's here.

EMILY: How does it feel compared to a goat?

MARISHA: Yeah, he's touching an actual angel.

UTKARSH: And--

TALIESIN: Oh boy.

UTKARSH: I'll do, oops. 5th-level Inflict Wounds.

EMILY: Yes, you will!

MARISHA: Ooh!

AIMEE: Ey-oh!

EMILY: Yes, you will!

TALIESIN: Well, fuck.

MATT: Go ahead and roll with advantage because it is prone.

UTKARSH: Oh, what does this plus eight mean?

EMILY: That's what you add to it.

MATT: That's your attack.

UTKARSH: Oh.

MATT: So roll that twice. Take the higher of the two.

TALIESIN: How--

EMILY: Roll it twice.

TALIESIN: Where am I right now?

MARISHA: One more, one more.

AIMEE: One more.

TALIESIN: Oh, I'm over there.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah--

EMILY: Oh, gorgeous!

UTKARSH: 18.

MATT: 18 plus eight?

AIMEE: Plus eight.

MATT: 24, that hits. Go ahead and roll your damage on that. So 5th-level. So it's 3d10 at 1st-level.

AIMEE: Jeez!

MATT: That's 7d10 points of necrotic damage.

EMILY: I got some d10s, honey.

MARISHA: I want Bor'Dor to get the "how-dee durty durty"

LIAM: Yes, just this--

EMILY: I got some d10s.

LIAM: -- beautiful savant goat herder.

MATT: Just like, wow, an angel.

UTKARSH: Is that what that is?

MARISHA: (intense crushing)

UTKARSH: Just roll all these?

EMILY: I think you need more than that.

TALIESIN: How many are there?

MARISHA: How many do you need?

UTKARSH: One, two, three, four, five, six.

EMILY: A 5th-level, that's going to be--

MATT: One more.

MARISHA: One more, here.

EMILY: 7d10 so you need--

AIMEE: That's a d10?

LIAM: That is--

UTKARSH: Here we go.

TALIESIN: Oh boy.

LIAM: That's a percentile, so--

AIMEE: Oh, what does that mean?

LIAM: If you had to roll one out of 100--

EMILY: Okay, that's a 10.

UTKARSH: 10. That's a 10, right?

EMILY: That's a one.

MARISHA: That's a one, unfortunately.

UTKARSH: Yeah, I told you.

EMILY: (laughs)

UTKARSH: What's this? One?

AIMEE: Right, right, right, right.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

EMILY: Four--

MARISHA: Oh, 12.

EMILY: So you got nine--

UTKARSH: 400!

MATT and AIMEE: (laugh)

EMILY: Okay.

UTKARSH: Thank you for helping.

MARISHA: 12--

EMILY: 19, 28 plus eight. 36.

UTKARSH: 36.

MATT: 36 points of necrotic damage. How do you want to do this?

(cheering)

TALIESIN: Oh my god!

AIMEE: Oh my god, you get two!

TALIESIN: What?!

AIMEE: Woo, woo, woo!

UTKARSH: Oh my god.

EMILY: Herd him to hell, Bor'Dor!

MATT: Two in one battle.

AIMEE: Bor'Dor!

EMILY: Bor'Dor!

MATT: The angel on the ground, and you can see its glowing light. It's almost blinding in the proximity as its wings are flailing about. The demon's clutching on, holding it to the ground as you step up to it, and it looks up at you, its eyes these bright-white stars. It has this look of pity as it looks upon you.

UTKARSH: I hold its head and I kiss its forehead and I say: Enough.

AIMEE: (gasps) Oof.

MATT: As the energy leaves your hands, you watch as the light begins to diminish, blackness beginning to seep into the sides of its head. Its bright-white eyes go jet black as it screams silently, staring at Bor'Dor until eventually its skin goes to a pale gray and begins to crack and crumble into ash and dust, leaving the armor, (tink, tink) on the ground before it begins to immediately rust, the rest of its body burning away into ash, the wings (soft wind) dissipating in the space.

UTKARSH: I did not expect that to happen.

AIMEE: VIP!

MARISHA: Wow.

EMILY: That was great!

UTKARSH: Yeah, but that was--

TALIESIN: What do we do about the, well--

UTKARSH: The demon?

EMILY: Technically, I still control him.

UTKARSH: I say: That was way cooler than throwing up.

EMILY: (laughs) It was.

MARISHA: (sigh of awe) Yeah, that one.

MATT: Well done.

EMILY: This one?

MARISHA: Thank you.

MATT: Okay. We'll say for the purposes of narrative here, as opposed to going into a slogfest of you all, this demon, and the elemental all going together, the--

EMILY: Can I see what Bor'Dor just did and try and do it with the demon with its head? Enough. (smooches)

UTKARSH: (laughs)

MATT: The demon punches you in the face.

(laughter)

EMILY: Shit! I lost my concentration! (laughs)

(laughs)

MARISHA: Oh my god.

MATT: In this instance, we'll say in the next few minutes or so--

AIMEE: Thank you.

MATT: The rest of the civilians gather around, gathering, shackling, and bringing outside of the temple the remaining surviving members of the body of worshipers of the Dawnfather that came to defend. A brief moment hits as one of them warns that another Judicator is arriving, the second one that was watching the city. But as it begins to reach the outskirts of the temple, it turns around and leaves. As your hold, tenuous as it is on this team, and begins to slip in time, you watch as the Elder Abaddina gestures to the elemental that now seems even further empowered and emboldened by the eidolons that have now begin to fill the space, the mist now surrounding densely the exterior of the temple. The elemental reaches forth and grabs the demon, and you watch as its stone form surrounds it and begins to crush it down into a sphere until the two of them crumble into a pile of shale, ending your tether to it and the elemental's existence.

AIMEE: God.

EMILY: It's going to be super awkward next time I summon it.

AIMEE: (chuckles) Got hugged to death.

MARISHA: What is Abaddina doing?

MATT: She's currently concentrating, looking upward. As you look out at her hands out there, you can see the nearby windows and the glass is starting to crack.

AIMEE: Oh shit.

MATT: You see heavy vines are wrapping in through the windows--

UTKARSH: Oh, cool.

MATT: -- and grabbing hold. You watch as the temple is starting to (crumbling)

EMILY: Before it totally-- Can I run through and see if there are any religious texts or accounting books or pile of letters or a spell book? I don't know, whatever.

MATT: "It would do you well to hurry. The spirits demand justice."

UTKARSH: What are we looking for?

EMILY: Just anything. If you see a piece of paper.

TALIESIN: Nothing left of the angel, right? Just--

MATT: Just ash and a rusted suit of armor.

LIAM: What about the Judicator? Is the Judicator's body still--

MATT: The Judicator's body is still here.

LIAM: I'm going to walk over and bend over and pull the mask away.

AIMEE: Mm.

UTKARSH: Whoa!

MATT: You pull the mask away, and as you go towards it, it doesn't move. Do you want to try and force the mask off?

LIAM: Yes.

MATT: Roll a strength check for me.

LIAM: (groans) I'm so small.

EMILY: Oh, can I send Mother?

AIMEE: I can help you.

TALIESIN: You can also just ask, too.

EMILY: Can I send Mother to give him a help action?

LIAM: Yeah, Deni$e, you want to help me?

AIMEE: I can help.

MATT: Your raven starts pecking at the sides of the mask.

AIMEE: What do I do? How can I help?

LIAM: I'm actually going to help you.

AIMEE: Okay.

LIAM: Because your strength is sick and mine is nonexistent.

MATT: All right.

LIAM: We're going to roll together.

MATT: So you'll roll with advantage.

LIAM: So you roll with advantage.

AIMEE: Okay, okay.

AIMEE: Oh, one.

LIAM: Or?

AIMEE: Or, oh!

LIAM: Or a three. It's fucking-- It's on there!

EMILY: Can I try? I have--

(laughter)

AIMEE: This is a trash dice, man.

MATT: You get the sense that this mask is actually fused to the face of the Judicator. It is not worn, but it is a permanent part of their head. You could pull it free, but who knows what remains beneath?

MARISHA: Hmm.

EMILY: Does it have a feeling of an undead sort of construct?

MATT: You can make a religion check, if you'd like.

EMILY: Because we passed that graveyard with--

MARISHA: Can I give her advantage on that?

MATT: Sure.

MARISHA: As someone who is of that ilk?

MATT: Certainly.

EMILY: Ooh.

LIAM: What a crazy roll.

MATT: That was bloop.

AIMEE: Bloop.

LIAM: It sounded a little like--

EMILY: That is a 22.

MATT: 22. There is no necrosis. There is no sign of dark magic or necromancy in its creation. Though it is, in some ways, abhorrent to those who aren't aware of the purpose they serve and the long, tangled history of their existence, everything about them says that there was life, vibrance, or at the very least, divine power infused, instilled, and maintained within this vessel of judgment.

AIMEE: Holy shit.

UTKARSH: Wow.

LIAM: What is this person wearing? Is it armor to them or is it all just robes?

MATT: There is no armor on the Judicator. There is just a number of runic tattoos that have psalms and various religious rites written across its skin of its exposed arms.

EMILY: With my magical quill, I want to copy as many of these runes as possible.

MATT: Okay.

EMILY: Just for we can look at them later and try and decipher.

MARISHA: While--

MATT: (crumbling) The stone is cracking.

MARISHA: While Abaddina is doing her thing, I'm just going to walk in front of her like three to five feet from her face.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

UTKARSH: Judging.

MARISHA: And just stare at her as my Form of Dread starts to fade.

MATT: "I can still see you."

AIMEE: I'll just yell over: Don't forget our Scry.

MATT: "Do not worry. We made a deal." You can see her smiling as the mists pour in stronger, and she herself, you can see she's being empowered and emboldened by them. She's connecting to the land and the powers that exist here. In doing so, there is a jubilance to her, both in the victory and the eventual crumbling of this symbol of their oppression.

MARISHA: Hm, knowing that I'm in her periphery, I'm staring at her right in front of her.

MATT: She lifts her hands. She occasionally is like.

UTKARSH: Can-- Can I put the angel's armor on or is it too big?

MATT: It's quite large. But you grab it and it's for a torso about this big around.

UTKARSH: No, it's not going to fit. This won't fit.

EMILY: Can I make a floating disc--

AIMEE: This won't fit.

EMILY: -- to carry the armor, if you wanted it?

UTKARSH: Oh, no. I just thought, if we were the same size. I have no armor. I could use it. But no.

AIMEE: (laughs)

EMILY: Okay.

UTKARSH: Thank you, though.

LIAM: Orym looks out the doors of the church. What's going on with the people?

MATT: A number of the civilians have come and looked at the space and then backed out when they saw the imminent state of the temple's crumbling about to happen. They pull the remainder of the soldiers and you hear some yelps outside as they grab some of the other fleeing soldiers. There were others that didn't actually join the battle that had been fleeing at the first sign of conflict that were other members of, you come to find out through conversation with the civilians nearby, were members of the village who had essentially converted.

AIMEE: Mm. Mm-hmm.

MATT: Any sign of conflict, began to just flee. It takes a good solid hour or so since this moment had struck for them to bring all the accounted members of the temple that they can find. They're all gathered, tied up, and brought out to the outskirts of the village to the north side at the edge of the forest before the trees and possibly the road beyond might await. As they're doing this, is there anything you're searching for more in the temple?

EMILY: I mean, if there's a desk or anything with what they've been up to.

MATT: There are chambers as well. Make an investigation check for me.

EMILY: Okay.

UTKARSH: I'll help.

TALIESIN: I'm also going to do a little walk around. Valuable, interesting, whatever.

MATT: Okay.

EMILY: Investigation becomes 21.

MATT: 21. Okay. There are tithe coffers here within the temple. There is quite a bit of money that has been taken and maintained. The three chests that you pull from the inner chambers in the time before it starts getting too dangerous to stay, probably contain thousands of coins. You're uncertain as to what denomination they might be, but metal. There are all manner of religious texts. There are books, there are scrolls. You'd have to take time to really study.

TALIESIN: If I'm with you, I could open a hole. I got the hole.

EMILY: Yeah. Open a hole.

UTKARSH: Open the hole.

EMILY: Let's do it.

AIMEE: Yeah. Let's do it.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: I'm going to search the-- What was her name? Kios?

MATT: Kiro.

LIAM: Kiro.

AIMEE: Kiro.

LIAM: Thank you. Her body.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: For anything. For gear--

TALIESIN: Throw in everything.

LIAM: -- but also information, any letters, instructions.

AIMEE: Was she the keeper? What was it? The Flame?

MATT: The Flame Guard.

AIMEE: Flame Guard?

LIAM: Flame guard.

AIMEE: Flameguide.

EMILY: Guard.

MATT: Okay. Make an investigation check.

LIAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: Laudna takes a step closer--

LIAM: Forget it.

MARISHA: -- to Abaddina. She just keeps creeping closer and closer to her face as time goes on.

MATT: (laughs)

AIMEE: I think I'm going to help you do that. I think Deni$e is also going to (winces) limp over to her.

MATT: Okay. As you do so, she's like, "It would do you well to step outside shortly."

AIMEE: (laughs)

UTKARSH: Is the angel's sword gone?

MARISHA: I'm not leaving.

MATT: There is a longsword present. It's about the size of a long, two-handed, cavalry-based sword for a normal person. It is rusted over, like the armor.

EMILY: Can we throw it in? Can we throw it in the hole? (laughs)

TALIESIN: Yeah. Anything y'all want. I can carry that.

MATT: Okay. So you throw in the--

EMILY: I'll just take one hymnal, too.

MATT: (laughs)

AIMEE: One what?

EMILY: Hymnal.

AIMEE: Hymnal.

EMILY: I like music.

TALIESIN: Grab what you like, we can deal with it later.

AIMEE: But did we get the cash, too? The coins? Okay.

EMILY: Yeah, we got it all.

LIAM: She has a blade, though? Does she have a sword?

MATT: She has, it's a metal quarterstaff, essentially. As well as a blade that was affixed to the side, but the quarterstaff she used as a walking symbol of her station.

UTKARSH: What about that chest--

LIAM: I'm going to grab the blade.

AIMEE: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Carry it out.

MATT: All right. What were you saying?

UTKARSH: Is her chest plate thing still there?

MATT: The symbol of the Dawnfather is still present, yeah.

UTKARSH: That's not a magical thing, is it?

EMILY: Do you want to walk around wearing a Dawn--

UTKARSH: I want to get that big fire guy again.

EMILY: (laughs)

AIMEE: Wait, what?

UTKARSH: The big, tall guy who was shooting everyone when they go in the building.

AIMEE: The Judicator?

UTKARSH: No, no, no. The big one from an hour and a half ago. What was that?

UTKARSH: That's a thing that--

MATT: That was Kiro. That's the one that he's--

UTKARSH: Oh, okay. Got it.

MARISHA: Oh, the big--

TALIESIN: Will not be helpful to us. We just-- Yeah.

EMILY: I think Prism feels like we threw everything into the hole. I'm going to walk out. I think I'm ready to be out of here.

TALIESIN: I'll come with you.

AIMEE: Yeah.

UTKARSH: Let's go.

TALIESIN: Bor'Dor, let's go.

UTKARSH: Okay.

MARISHA: Are you leaving?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

AIMEE: If you're staying, I'm staying.

MARISHA: I'll stay with Deni$e and just, eyes fixed on Abaddina.

MATT: Okay. Eventually, (masonry crumbling) the cracks in the foundations of the building begin to grow precarious. Stones begin to fall from the ceiling as the final bits of dome inlaid colored glass shatter and fall, scattering to the center of the chamber. With that, you watch as the Elder turns, the mist still in her eyes. "The choice is yours," and she exits the temple. As she does, she lifts her hands.

MARISHA: Yeah, I follow.

AIMEE: Yeah, we follow.

MATT: You follow.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: As she brings her hands in the air and puts them together, you watch as all the roots and the trees that have leaned on it all begin to push through and crash the final bits of the stonework, the temple (crumbling stone) falling into a pile of rubble, broken marble, stone, glass, and the memories of the Dawnfather's influence on this hill. As the dust settles and the cracking echoes through this valley of the final bits of crumbling structure come to rest, the silence is broken by the sound of cheers.

AIMEE: Mm.

MATT: The civilians, whooping and hollering and raising their fists in the air and hugging each other. Right as you see dozens and dozens more of those who weren't part of the fight begin to rush up, keeping a distance, safely, but watching, hoping, or at least praying that the ones that they knew went into this are still alive. You watch the reunions. You watch the families come together, the children who've been woken up in the middle of their sleep to ensure that their father, their mother, their brothers, made it back from this dangerous endeavor, but one they felt was necessary, one that the Elder told them there was only about a moment to seize. As they gather and smile, they all turn back and look to you as you all step out from the remnants of this temple, the Elder at your side.

EMILY: Prism's swept up in this.

AIMEE: (laughs)

EMILY: Can I reach into the hole and start tossing money out to the crowd?

TALIESIN: I would stop you with that.

EMILY: Okay.

TALIESIN: That's how you-- No, no, no, no.

EMILY: You see me get swept up.

TALIESIN: You're going for the hole, I'm like: I know, I know.

AIMEE: You might get a finger in there.

EMILY: I got so swept up and I got totally swept up.

TALIESIN: No, it's a good idea. Let's just not start anything.

EMILY: I might hurt someone. Yeah.

TALIESIN: Make it quiet. It'll be okay.

LIAM: At this point, what is Abaddina doing?

MATT: Abaddina, right now, is closing out her meditation that she held while within the temple.

LIAM: I think, wordlessly, Orym is taking in the aftermath and seeing all of the relief and the joy and all these people's faces in this town, and trying to process the complexity of the moment where this place obviously feels like they're in a better place.

AIMEE: Yeah.

LIAM: And to do so, we had to stand in defiance of one of the (sighs) seemingly better gods of this world--

UTKARSH: Mm-hmm.

LIAM: -- in an effort to learn more and get back to stopping a person who wants to destroy all the gods.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

LIAM: And for the first time, Orym feels like his prime directive is muddied and confused and it just doesn't matter.

MARISHA: I'd say Laudna clocks this and I just give you a look.

MATT: (heavy clattering)

MARISHA: Just pissed off.

MATT: The cheers come to a brief rest as the multitude of soldiers of the temple are pushed onto the ground, rope and chains binding them as the Elder steps before them. A number of the most armed and experienced people within the Hearthdell township flanking her. "You have either come here as strangers uninvited, or you have chosen to abandon where you were raised to join that which seeks to take from us our heritage. The choice is yours, to flee or pay your debts." At which point the civilians untie their hands, pull back the chains, but have their weapons at the ready. You watch as they all stand up, one by one, some of them pretty young, not in the middle of the fray, but you see one of them is a young man, no more than probably 19, 20 years old. Looks scared shitless. Literally. Because he filled his armor.

EMILY: Bor'Dor, that was you.

MATT: (laughs)

UTKARSH: Sorry.

MATT: You see some older, hardened members of this temple, people that look with the disdain and judgment that already belies that they probably didn't grow up here. It's that older one, that older man with his graying hair and his square, clenched jaw that takes the first step north and into the forest. And then another, and then another. One-by-one, these remaining captives, now left to choose their path, all begin to follow and exit the township, except for the youngest. That one scared child who falls prostrate to the feet in front of the Elder and says, "I'm so sorry. I just wanted to feel like I belong to something, you know?" The Elder shushes him and says, "There will be talk and chances to make this up. But you do understand now why this was wrong?" He nods and keeps his eyes down, unable to make eye contact. You see other people nearby looking at him, some with concern, some with sadness, some with a glimmer of hope. It's a complicated weave of reactions. You can sense the history here, the tangled choices that have led to this moment. But with that there, you almost feel the final weight lifted, the final tether of Vasselheim and the built temple here's influence on this hillside now free.

MARISHA: Laudna leans into Abaddina after her words to the youngest and whispers: Be careful not to become what you despise.

UTKARSH: Mm!

MATT: She leans her head towards you, looking back with a genuine look of honesty and expression. "Sometimes you must do things you wish weren't yours to do for the betterment of your people. I'm not proud of everything I've done, but don't think your words are lost on me."

MARISHA: There's a thin line between being a savior and an oppressor.

MATT: "Well, thank you for being our saviors." As she steps with a smile, puts her hands out, and you watch as the mists that have surrounded whirl into an image of a small, mist-filled dust devil that almost seems to take the form of a bear that drifts off into the horizon. You watch as another bit of the mist swirls and gives almost the image of horns for a second before it vanishes amongst the trees. She steps back amongst you and the others who stood up to this temple. "We here of The Loam and the Leaf thank you. For, whatever we can do for what you've aided us with, you have it."

AIMEE: I got something. Anyone got Cure Wounds?

(laughs)

MARISHA and EMILY: (laugh)

MATT: She immediately steps forward and goes, "Of course, of course!" (laughs) and is going to--

UTKARSH: I could use some help, too.

MATT: -- do a 3rd-level Cure Wounds to you.

AIMEE: Okay.

MATT: For that's going to be 18 hit points.

AIMEE: Great!

MATT: And to you for, that's going to be 20 hit points.

UTKARSH: Thank god! Thank you!

TALIESIN: Where's the Elder?

MATT: This is the Elder.

TALIESIN: Oh, this is the Elder.

MATT: Speaking out to everybody.

AIMEE: And number two, our Scry?

MATT: "Indeed. I'm a bit spent for the evening."

UTKARSH: No way!

MATT: "But with a night's rest, we can talk tomorrow morning."

AIMEE: All right, we're sleeping on your couch--

MARISHA: 100%.

AIMEE: -- tonight.

UTKARSH and AIMEE: We're sleeping in your house.

MATT: "Very well. I will make what arrangements I can."

AIMEE: Thank you.

TALIESIN: If you have a second, I'd love to bend your ear in private for a second, if that's-- Oh god, it hurts! If that's okay?

MARISHA: Ashton!

MATT: "You were touched by strange magics. Perhaps maybe I have a word to ask of you as well."

TALIESIN: I'd be all right with that in the morning. But just a moment, if that's okay?

MATT: "Then come. (louder) But for now, here in this night, we raise our lanterns to the stone circle. Tonight, we celebrate the first in a long, long time that we are free to give our thanks to the eidolons and to each other."

LIAM: Orym is going to step out. The whole crowd is still here, right?

MATT: The crowd is all here. But at this point, they all cheer and they all begin to shift and move towards the city center.

MARISHA: As they raise their lanterns, I'm going to Prestidigitation and make them glow brighter.

MATT: (laughs) Sure enough. With the bright lights and the glowing event, the celebratory decorations that were still mostly up from the previous night to mark the Apogee Solstice still here beneath the tangled rainbow colors of the nexus above, the village comes to vibrant life. Where you had felt it a strange, Midsommar-type festival and seeing it now, it has a life and a joy that dispels those concerns. The children laugh. Meals are rapidly cooked. Music begins to fill here in the middle of the evening. While families likely will be bed at this time, children set to sleep, for hours before now, the people look up to the dark star-filled sky and beneath this wondrous weave of mysterious arcana and they sing.

UTKARSH: Is Proleff there?

MATT: Proleff is amongst them, yes.

UTKARSH: So I go up Proleff and I'm like, "Are we even?"

MATT: "I would say so, yes, we are very even."

UTKARSH: Great. I think Bor'Dor can't stop seeing the face of the angel as he died, the look of sadness on his face. I don't, I think he can't really-- That has messed him up. He doesn't know if he did the right thing. He's like, I think-- Something's happening. Faith is shaken a little bit.

MARISHA: You say this out loud or to Proleff, or internally?

UTKARSH: It's an internal monologue.

TALIESIN: There's no internal monologue, it just happened.

UTKARSH: I'm saying it out loud. I'm like: Yeah, I killed that angel. It's not really--

(laughter)

AIMEE: I don't know how I feel about it.

UTKARSH: Just pretend I said it all out loud. Not pretend. Retcon. I say it all out loud.

MATT: Is it out loud? Full-on Ferris Bueller self-narration?

UTKARSH: Yep, yep. It happened. Killed an angel. I feel weird about it.

TALIESIN: Years of therapy. We can-- You want to do this?

EMILY: Yeah, do you want to-- yeah. I'm going to give my thought, which is that I'm really trying to view all this with a skeptical academic mind, but it just feels like a net good whatever just happened, right? Am I crazy for feeling that way?

TALIESIN: No.

EMILY: I feel like it's a party, but everyone's really sad. Right? So I'm second guessing my subjective experience.

TALIESIN: I am--

UTKARSH: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Again, I don't know because reality has been shifting really, really hard lately, so I even hesitate to have an opinion about anything anymore. I like having a sense of what's around me and what I can see and, ignoring everything out of view right now, this was a net good.

EMILY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Right here.

EMILY: Yeah, I think, I kind of think so. I wonder, but it feels good. I thought I was getting caught up in some sort of righteous whirlwind that I was going to regret, but I just-- this looks good, but did you want to talk to Abaddina?

TALIESIN: Yeah, I figured you'd want to give some money away. You had the vibe.

EMILY: Yeah. Unless you guys could use it. I can't buy my way out of my apprenticeship, so I'm not like-- I don't know. I guess it-- Yeah, I just thought we could give them.

TALIESIN: Money comes and goes and it's entirely possible it's theirs.

EMILY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: So--

EMILY: So yeah. Oh, that's a good idea. Abaddina?

MATT: "Yes, child."

EMILY: Hi. Can Ashton and I talk to you behind a tree?

UTKARSH: (laughs)

MATT: "Sure, let's go to this one."

EMILY: Yeah.

LIAM: (laughs)

MATT: She leads you over there. Once again, it's like--

TALIESIN: Our group's going to get sexy now. It's our turn.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Behind a big tree.

MATT: All foot and a half or more higher than both of you.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MARISHA: (laughing) Yeah.

MATT: Walks behind to one of the nearby trees and turns around. "Yes?"

LIAM: Fearne's five feet taller on the cover art.

TALIESIN: (laughs)

EMILY: We found some stuff in there that might be yours.

TALIESIN: Were they taking tithes or--?

MATT: "They were."

TALIESIN: Well, I'm going to throw it out and let you.

EMILY: I have a minus two to strength.

TALIESIN: Okay, here. I'll help you, I'll help you. That's okay. That's okay.

EMILY: Thank you. We found this in there. It's your tithes.

MATT: "I'm certain that some of this belongs to the Valley Coalition of villages. But a majority of this was taken by our townsfolk, taken from our townsfolk. They're rich enough in the temples. These were not... These were not given by those who ascribe to this faith enough to live in the faiths of squalor that it brought them to." She reaches down and grabs one edge, begins dragging it out from behind the tree, leaving this groove in the dirt like rocks behind it. (heavy dragging) Pulls it out to the center of the stone circle in the middle of the town. As people look over to what she's doing, she drags it into the center.

EMILY: That was good, Ashton.

TALIESIN: You had the right idea.

EMILY: Thanks. Yeah.

MATT: Looks to Proleff. "Distribute as you see fit. You know the hard work and the loss of those more than most." She opens the chest and as the coins and other piles of copper and silver and the occasional gold coin are seen throughout, the people begin to suddenly react in hushed excitement or a sense of wonder and calm and relief begins to spill out as Proleff begins to reach out and count and gather and distribute it amongst people of the town. They begin to line up. Some people are still celebrating and laughing, but other people begin to gather around and a redistribution of the wealth once taken by the temple begins to unfold.

EMILY: I like that.

MATT: With that granting, you can see the Elder is leaning and huffing a little bit before turning around. "I believe I am a bit spent from my connection with the spirits for the evening. I will likely retire. If you are wishing to come and indeed stay within my homestead for the night, you are welcome."

AIMEE: We'll tuck you in.

MATT: She smiles and begins to walk. She's always walked with a strength and a presence. When she addresses the people of the village, she very much maintains that. But you can watch as she steps out of the visual range of the majority of the town, she lets herself curl a bit. She lets herself show the age, show the weight, show the exhaustion.

UTKARSH: I think we all--

MARISHA: I grok that, yeah.

(laughter)

LIAM: While that exchange was happening, can I rewind three minutes to find you?

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Sure.

LIAM: Okay, so finding you in this crowd off to the side and looking up. No, I'm not looking at the sky, I'm looking up at you because you're tall.

EMILY, AIMEE, and UTKARSH: (laugh)

MARISHA: I was looking up.

LIAM: Ah.

MARISHA: Now I'm looking at you. EMILY, AIMEE, and

UTKARSH: (laugh)

LIAM: Everybody here seems really happy.

MARISHA: They're ignorant.

LIAM: I want them to have it.

MARISHA: Ignorance is bliss. Let them have it.

LIAM: I'm just enjoying the view as the ship sinks.

MARISHA: Certainly feels that way. They don't have to bear the burden that we hold and the knowledge that we are weighed down with. But it doesn't mean I can't be any less frustrated and jealous--

LIAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: -- of their bliss.

LIAM: We got to get back, Laudna. We got to get back.

MARISHA: I'm so angry, and I can't even fully articulate why. Feels like we just... We just put ourselves in great danger when there's so much more at stake. We are in this pissant town dealing with their pissant squabbles.

EMILY: (laughs)

MARISHA: I don't know why I'm so angry about it.

AIMEE: (laughs)

LIAM: I think you've had more than your fair share of shit. I don't even think-- I'm having trouble believing there's anything we can do. I just keep stepping forward because it's what I've always done. But I don't know that there's anything we can do.

MARISHA: Ashton said something quite profound to me the other night when we were taking our watch around the campfire. Profound, especially for them. Right now, if we try to change the world, it's just going to seem like an impossible task. It's just too much. But we can try and change that which we do have control over, our immediate surroundings. Save our friends.

LIAM: I don't know how much time we have left on this planet. Feels like it could all go soon in a week. But I just want to make do with the time that I have with the people that I care about, and I want to find them. I want to find them again.

MARISHA: Then let's find them. It's the only directive we have at the moment.

LIAM: He reaches-- Oh, go.

MARISHA: I-- The only thing we can control.

LIAM: Reaches up and grabs your dead, withered hand.

MARISHA: I reach down. It's cold and clammy.

LIAM: I don't understand why you bounced down through history to be here with me right now, but I sure as hells am glad you are here.

MARISHA: We've seen a lot of shit, Orym. That's why we're still here.

LIAM: Little more coming.

MARISHA: We've shown we can take it. Let's just get the fuck out of this town.

MATT: As you all gather up behind the Elder, she walks you back to the outskirts of the farmlands to the exterior of her quaint, creepy, overgrown mossy cottage of a homestead, leading you within the warm fire-lit interior and immediately begins to gather what blankets and cushions she can to essentially throw together a makeshift slumber party near the hearth, best she can. But after a bit--

MARISHA: Ashton, get out our bed rolls.

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: "Anyone care for some tea?"

EMILY: I would love some.

MARISHA: That sounds fantastic.

EMILY: I actually was thinking I might like to do some reading.

TALIESIN: Especially if there's something to spike it with. I think I have something to spike it with. I'm going to go into the hold.

MARISHA: Do you still have some jerky?

EMILY: You made this?

UTKARSH: Make a perception check.

(laughter)

UTKARSH: I can have jerky, right?

MATT: Yeah, you have a little bit of jerky.

UTKARSH: Yeah, I've got jerky.

MARISHA: Thank you. It's very good.

UTKARSH: Jerkies?

EMILY: Oh, this is my first one.

MATT: A gentle flowery, somewhat citrusy tea is prepared and heated by the Elder. She passes it around to everybody and sits across from you in this small, fur and leather tanned stool. She sits, her back aching a bit. She rests it and looks to you all with that initial intensity upon your meeting and upon the march to the temple now fallen away, whether it be from exhaustion or the lack of a need, but she smiles. "Call me Joan."

EMILY: Joan.

TALIESIN: Joan.

UTKARSH: Joan?

MATT: "Joan."

UTKARSH: Joan.

MATT: "You all look at me like you are uncertain if you can trust me or if you wish to kill me. And I understand that. But whatever you may decide, I still thank you for at least trusting us."

UTKARSH: No more killing, please. Just want to go home.

MATT: "Well, let us indeed try to help you on that path come the morrow. Do you have concerns? Questions? Things about me, this? Something that will help you sleep a little easier tonight."

LIAM: What will you do if they come back?

MATT: "Well, I do not think we are the only ones rising up here. We have a coalition. It has kept many of our various townships safe and prosperous away from the influence of Vasselheim and Othanzia. Word travels fast, especially on the lips of the wind and the animals who carry them for us."

EMILY: May I ask a question?

MATT: "Mm-hmm."

EMILY: Be brave, Prism. Okay. I think I'm taking everything in. I was wondering if you've ever speculated on the nature of Predathos. Because I guess when I sort of-- The way you were talking in the meeting, I felt almost as if there was an antagonism between the elemental powers and the divine powers, and I was wondering if perhaps, what if Predathos was sort of an elemental weapon against the divine when they arrived here? Do you feel an antagonism because of that? I'm trying to understand and not jump to conclusions.

MATT: "Of course. I know nothing of this Predathos beyond what you've said and the insinuations of this voice that came to us this previous night. But the confidence in which it spoke and the inspiration it brought to our people could not be left to wither much longer, or the opportunity would fade. We do not worship the spirits and powers that surround us as pious cattle, but as our neighbors in our community. The eidolons are those who live in these lands such as we. It is a symbiotic way of life, and it has been for those who were here before the gods founded and co-opted this world."

EMILY: Yeah, that's kind of what I was wondering.

MATT: "To answer your question, the lands of Exandria all hold to them innumerable guardian eidolons that are tied to the natural elements of this world, children of the titans that first shaped it. With the titans long gone, they persist however they can, often within the laws and rules of the gods that now reign. So they are echoes, shades, the remnants and the memory of the titans, of the great elemental kings and queens of this world, the ones that originally crafted and sculpted it."

EMILY: Interesting.

UTKARSH: Would Predathos be a threat to them, too?

EMILY: To them? Because I guess I feel like everyone talks about Predathos like it's going to be this big vacuum, a black hole that sucks everything into it, but what if it's more vengeful? What if it's more intelligent? What if-- What if it's not going to just be a world destruction and just bad for some? I'm not weighing in in any direction. I'm trying to consider different options while I consider my teeny tiny place in this situation.

LIAM: I think, and I'm turning away from the Elder, because there's no reason for anyone to know about or believe in this, what seems like a cockamamie conspiracy theory to most. (whispering) I don't think we know anything.

EMILY: Okay. But I think that's why I'm here, because I'm really good at learning stuff. So I'm trying to help that way.

LIAM: The only thing that I have to go on is the track record of the people trying to bring Predathos out.

EMILY: Yeah.

LIAM: That track record is not very good.

EMILY: It's really damning. But do you second guess it, though, when you hear the way she talks about the echoes of the elemental kings that were squashed by these divine founders who didn't even create this world?

LIAM: Prism, I don't understand the gods.

EMILY: Okay.

LIAM: I don't know anything about the titans. I don't know an eidolon from eyeliner.

EMILY: From eyeliner? I can show you, you would look fantastic.

LIAM: I believe you.

EMILY: You would look fantastic.

LIAM: I believe it.

EMILY: Yeah, a little bit later.

UTKARSH and TALIESIN: (laugh)

LIAM: But I'm a widower because of the people who want to bring this about.

EMILY: I'm so sorry.

LIAM: So it's hard for me to wrangle with the other side.

EMILY: I understand now.

MARISHA: Prism makes an interesting point, though. Perhaps we need to be asking more questions as opposed to resigning.

LIAM: Of who?

EMILY: I took all these religious texts from the temple, and any texts I find, I can really, I can go through them. I can comb them with a fine-toothed comb and find if there's any information. I really think the information is out there.

LIAM: I absolutely want to know anything that is written in whatever you just took from the temple. I would love to know what their church is doing in response to what's happening right now.

EMILY: Yeah.

MARISHA: I don't think I can sleep tonight, so I'll help you comb through them.

EMILY: I would love that.

MARISHA: Sounds fun.

EMILY: Okay.

AIMEE: Listen, I don't mean to break the party up, but I don't believe in the gods. With respect, I don't believe in anything but what I can do. I know that what I can do right now is go to sleep, because tomorrow, Joanie Abbie over here is going to Scry for us, and that's what I know today, and that's what I know tomorrow.

MATT: "Indeed."

UTKARSH: Yeah. I can barely keep my eyes open. I'm exhausted.

MARISHA: Are you all right, Bor'Dor?

EMILY: Yeah, are you okay, Bor'Dor?

MARISHA: You look, quite frankly, horrible.

UTKARSH: I got pretty fucked up.

AIMEE: That's saying a lot, coming from you.

MARISHA: 100%, absolutely.

UTKARSH: I got really fucked up.

EMILY: You fully saved all of our lives in there.

UTKARSH: I don't think so. I don't understand what's going on, because we killed a god.

MARISHA: Well...

UTKARSH: Or angel.

EMILY: More of emissary of god.

AIMEE: We killed an angel.

EMILY: A messenger of god.

UTKARSH: All I know is, it didn't seem evil. He didn't seem evil.

AIMEE: What if there's no good and evil? What if it's just a spectrum of behavior?

MATT: The Elder grins and chuckles under her breath. "Now that is wisdom."

AIMEE: I've lived a long time.

MATT: "We, the mortal creations of the gods, began as and in many ways are still invasive to this world. The titans made space for us, and the gods left no space for the titans. All that remain are the small spirits, and we merely wish to bring this world to a new and natural state once more, where people can live with the spirits of their home and decide for themselves how to live and pray. Cohabitate, not endure servitude."

LIAM: He's not going to make this big deal about it, but Orym is just going to leave.

UTKARSH: Yeah.

LIAM: He's just going to sneak out and go think about his dead husband and his dead father. He can't. He's gone.

UTKARSH: I'm going to lie down and close my eyes.

MATT: She leans in a bit. "Morality is innate. We are born feeling what is right. To not harm, to work to be happy, to help our fellows. It is when morality is written and pressed and imposed that those instincts become twisted and used to control."

AIMEE: Hey, preaching to the choir over here. You want to go to bed? I said I would tuck you in.

MATT: "Maybe that's not a bad idea." She finishes her tea and gets up a bit.

MARISHA: Thank you for the tea.

EMILY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Hopefully we'll talk in the morning.

MATT: "Indeed."

AIMEE: Deni$e sleeps on the foot of her bed, just waiting for the morning, falls asleep, but is every 30 minutes checking to see if it's morning.

MATT: She stops and turns and watches as you exit. "I know nothing of this god eater or Ruidus. But eidolons do not quake at its mention. I do not sense they feel a threat. Perhaps this is the change of fate. Strange that the goddess of fate marks no claim or warning."

EMILY: She doesn't? The Matron of Ravens, you refer to?

MATT: "If she knew this was to come and pass, she's kept it to herself."

EMILY: Well, yes, she always says one thing and does another. It's kind of why I have a complicated relationship with her.

MATT: "Please, come tuck me in."

(laughs)

AIMEE: I'm like-- Using all my four feet--

MATT: Burrito rolling her.

(laughter)

AIMEE: Making sure she doesn't disappear in the middle of the night.

MATT: "Thank you."

LIAM: Totally swaddled.

AIMEE: Yeah, just swaddled.

MATT: "So strong! This is quite impressive." (snoring) Goes straight into a deep snore.

AIMEE: Thank god.

MARISHA: Ashton!

TALIESIN: Hey. You look good.

MARISHA: Really?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MARISHA: Maybe better than Bor'Dor.

TALIESIN: That poor kid.

MARISHA: What do you want to talk to her about?

TALIESIN: Offhand comment.

MARISHA: You think she knows something about your origins?

TALIESIN: Could be.

MARISHA: Does this have to do with that mask you've been carrying?

TALIESIN: That? I don't know. I don't think so. That is going to be a thing I'm going to be asking of all of you once things quiet down. I-- (sighs) I thought-- I thought I knew what angry was, but I think I've just been in decades of self-pity. I have-- So angry right now.

MARISHA: It's funny, I was just having a similar conversation with Orym, saying the same thing.

TALIESIN: That was literally my worst nightmare.

MARISHA: What? Pick a thing from the evening. The shit in armor, the demon from blood.

TALIESIN: Not my first shit in armor.

AIMEE: (groans)

EMILY: (laughs)

TALIESIN: My very first divine intervention. The gods saw me. A god saw me. I was not invisible, and it was not hungry. It wasn't fearful. It wasn't--

MARISHA: It wasn't a god. It was an angel.

TALIESIN: It was a messenger, it was sent, and it told me what I really didn't want to hear. She does not fucking care. That I might as well be fucking gone, that I'm a mistake.

MARISHA: You mean the whole consecration, leave or you will be judged situation?

TALIESIN: I have been judged by better shit than that. Fuck them. Fuck him and my whole fucking life. I may have given away all the money. Prism helped. It was her idea. I'm not apologizing.

MARISHA: It wasn't our money. It's fine. It's not even a currency that we can use if we're trying to get back to Marquet. I don't know if they take Issylrian, you know, whatever the exchange--

AIMEE: Corn husks?

MARISHA: Exactly. Wooden coins. Who cares? Let them play with their Monopoly money.

AIMEE: You're such a snob. I love it.

MATT: It's all arcade tokens.

MARISHA: Arcade tokens!

EMILY: Oh my god, those actually I would've hung onto.

UTKARSH: Yeah, seriously.

LIAM: Pelor Park.

MATT: Yes.

TALIESIN: Wow, thank you.

UTKARSH: How long is a short rest?

MARISHA: Class action lawsuit.

MATT: Short rest is about an hour.

AIMEE: Are we getting a long?

TALIESIN: We're getting a long.

UTKARSH: So can I wake up after a short rest and go looking for Orym?

MATT: Yeah. Have you been out there for about an hour?

LIAM: Orym found a tree, climbed it.

AIMEE: Aw.

LIAM: A high tree. He does not want to be found. So you would have to get real lucky with a roll to find me.

MATT: Okay, so while the rest of you go off to rest, make a perception check for me.

UTKARSH: I might be just going right back to bed.

AIMEE: Wakes up and goes, nah!

UTKARSH: I think about going to look for Orym.

(laughter)

EMILY: Perceive your bed.

UTKARSH: Fall back asleep.

MATT: What'd you roll?

UTKARSH: I rolled a four.

MATT: Okay, I'll say with a four, how do you go look for Orym?

UTKARSH: I rolled a six.

MATT: Okay, six. How do you go look for Orym?

UTKARSH: I look out the window and I don't see him.

MATT: You just glance out the window? Okay.

UTKARSH: I'm not going to find him, right?

MATT: I don't know. You don't know.

LIAM: You don't know.

UTKARSH: Okay. I go out into the cold night air. Orym! Hey, Orym, are you out here?

LIAM: I see it.

MATT: You're up in your tree, being as perceptive as you are. You do see a Bor'Dor wandering and whispering into the wind alone amongst the exterior field.

MARISHA: That's sad, don't leave a man wandering with his balls in the cold air.

UTKARSH: I got pants on.

AIMEE: Is he Winnie the Pooh-ing it?

(laughter)

UTKARSH: At some point, I took my pants off during the battle.

LIAM: Remind me, is Bor'Dor human? Half-elven?

UTKARSH: Half-elf.

LIAM: Half-elf, okay.

EMILY: Half-elf? I thought you were a full elf.

LIAM: Okay, he's probably around my age.

UTKARSH: The other half is--

MATT: Awesome.

UTKARSH: Yeah, I was going to say.

MARISHA: Awesome!

UTKARSH: It's not written on any of my cards.

LIAM: What?

UTKARSH: (gasps)

MARISHA and EMILY: (laugh)

MARISHA: That is so cute.

UTKARSH: You okay?

LIAM: I've had better days.

UTKARSH: You want to talk about it?

LIAM: How good are you at climbing trees?

UTKARSH: I'm great at climbing trees, I think.

LIAM: Well, I found a really good spot and I'm not leaving.

UTKARSH: Okay, I'll come up to you.

MATT: Roll an athletics check for me.

UTKARSH: Damn it.

(light laughter)

AIMEE: I'll stay right down here.

MARISHA: Better than four, come on!

AIMEE: Play telephone.

UTKARSH: 19. Thank god.

EMILY: Oh, okay!

MARISHA: That's good.

MATT: Impressively climbs the tree with rapidity.

UTKARSH: Told you.

MARISHA: Country boy.

LIAM: Mm-hmm.

MATT: As you're both now up in the boughs of the evening tree.

UTKARSH: Do you believe in God?

LIAM: I mean, it's beyond question. Gods have shaped the history of this world. They have dropped miracles from their seats on high and caused irreparable damage and unmistakable good. I don't know that I care. I care about you and me and I care about my family across an ocean.

UTKARSH: My life is very small. I wake up, I work, I go to sleep. My beliefs have been black and white. These people told us to go into a church and fight something that I can't fathom. In the moment where I felt victory, I didn't see divinity or radiance, or whatever the fuck you call it. I just felt sadness and compassion. Did you see the way it looked? Why did we have to do that? Why is that what happened? Then I'm wondering also, that woman, Abaddina, has no fucking clue what you guys are talking about.

LIAM: No.

UTKARSH: She's talking about elementals beating gods and what's-his-face, what's his name?

EMILY: Ludinus?

LIAM: What's the what's-his-face we're talking about?

AIMEE: Predathos?

UTKARSH: There's the guy, the goblin that comes out of the moon.

LIAM: Ah, that's Predathos.

UTKARSH: Predathos.

LIAM: Little bigger than a goblin probably.

UTKARSH: Then there's the one that controls the giant, the bigger, the monster.

LIAM: Then there's a really old guy who is trying to--

UTKARSH: Ludinus.

LIAM: Yes. Part of the government in Wildemount who wants to open up whatever's in there. Do we see Ruidus?

MATT: Up from the tree, from where you are right now, you can still see Ruidus in the far southern horizon, still locked in place above Marquet.

LIAM: So I know, I think, barely anymore than you do. But I know that there are people out there who are so intent on busting something, supposedly, out of our moon, that it's worth killing a lot of people to get there. Do I believe in the gods? Yes. Do they have a ton of bearing in my life? Have they? No.

UTKARSH: So you get to Ludinus, and then what? We just, I just, we just killed an angel. You saved a woman who has no idea about the fight that she's fighting. The village has no clue. They're fucked either way. What are we doing here?

LIAM: Yeah.

UTKARSH: My life is very small. What are we doing here?

LIAM: I think Ashton and Laudna and I have friends that we were with and got pulled away from. I think we got a one in a 2,000 chance, maybe, of stopping--

UTKARSH: Okay.

LIAM: -- more people I care about getting killed.

UTKARSH: Okay. Let's do that then. The beer thing was pretty cool, right?

LIAM: It was pretty cool. So was, I'm not going to lie, the circumstances suck, but it was kind of funny to see a bunch of guys shit themself.

UTKARSH: It was really almost exactly what I was hoping for to happen.

(laughter)

UTKARSH: That's what happened. So I was-- Really, thanks for acknowledging it.

(laughter)

LIAM: Yeah, Exandria is very old, and I read a good amount. Poop jokes have been good for eons.

UTKARSH: You were so close to talking to that lady, too. You were this close. You're very charming. You've got-- I really thought we were going to avoid the whole thing.

LIAM: Yeah, I'm unassuming. I've used it to my advantage most of my life.

UTKARSH: Okay, well, thanks for the talk. I shake his hand, extend my hand out and I go: I go where you go.

LIAM: Little tiny hand grabs two of your fingers and shakes them.

AIMEE: Aw, cutie.

MARISHA: But did you all wash your hands since the plague?

EMILY: Oh, pink eye, pink eye, pink eye.

AIMEE: You better fucking not.

MATT: (laughs)

LIAM: Ah!

AIMEE: Pink eye damage.

UTKARSH: (laughing) Pink eye.

MARISHA: Roll for pink eye.

EMILY: Wake up, Abaddina! We need Greater Restoration for pink eye!

MATT: Disadvantage on all perception checks.

(laughter)

AIMEE: They all wake up like, why is my eye oozing?

LIAM: 31 goes (drastically descending tone).

TALIESIN: My eyes are literal stone, how is this possible?

(laughter)

UTKARSH: I jump down from the tree, which was six feet off the ground the whole time--

LIAM: No, it wasn't. I was 30 feet up.

UTKARSH: Okay, whatever.

(laughter)

LIAM: And Orym stays.

MARISHA: 30 feet to you.

MATT: Okay.

UTKARSH: And go back to bed.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Ooh, this is tough, you guys. This is a tough one.

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: It's very tough.

AIMEE: "Separate church and state."

MATT: All right, unless anyone else has any business for the evening a long rest is at your disposal.

AIMEE: Yes!

MATT: Go ahead and mark yourselves.

TALIESIN: Thank fucking god.

AIMEE: Oh hell yeah.

MARISHA: I think maybe I'd stay up with Prism for a little bit, reading through some books.

EMILY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I left the hole open.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: But eventually get a long rest.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: I'm going to say that Orym took a short rest, that he never-- Couldn't sleep.

AIMEE: Girl, take a long rest.

LIAM: No.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

MATT: You do take a point of exhaustion without getting a full night's rest, so.

LIAM: I know. I know.

AIMEE: Wait, I took a long rest. Where are my hit points?

TALIESIN: Oh, you have to tell it.

UTKARSH: You have to double tap long rest.

MATT: You have to confirm it.

LIAM: Take long rest.

AIMEE: I did!

LIAM: Confirm.

AIMEE: Oh, there it is.

MATT: There it is, you got it.

AIMEE: Woo-hoo-hoo!

MATT: All right. Glancing through, I mean, there's a lot of text here. A lot of it is religious pamphlets. It is (laughs) things to be left under people's doors to try and like, really try and get them to come to some of the worship. But no, a lot of it is sermons. They are different means of worship. A lot of them are also tithing ledgers. There are conversations between the, what was it? The Silvercall Mill.

MARISHA: Okay.

EMILY: Right.

MARISHA: Those guys.

MATT: You see plans of buying out portions of the neighborhood to expand into. There was discussion awaiting approval from other individuals in the network of the Dawnfather's temple to begin constructing other temples, not just within the town here, but buying up parts of nearby landscape and putting a Wildmother worship this far west. There's a lot of discussion about the challenges in finding land that isn't already staked by the Valley Coalition. It all seems to be kind of code in a way. They're not being overt about it. It's not like, you know, "Ha ha, we're going to buy all of the land." But you gather through an evening of looking at it, there's a lot of conversation about calculated expansion.

AIMEE: Hmm.

UTKARSH: Hmm. Do not like that.

MATT: Beyond Othanzia.

MARISHA: Yeah, it's not great.

EMILY: I'm going to write down--

UTKARSH: Yeah, put the fan up again.

EMILY: -- the addresses.

MARISHA: It's not great.

AIMEE: Ha ha!

EMILY: I'm going to write down the addresses of the--

LIAM: Preach.

UTKARSH: I'm a little hot.

EMILY: -- people that they correspond with. Can I also look at these runes--

UTKARSH: Yep, thanks.

EMILY: -- that were on the Judicator that I copied down?

MATT: Oh yeah, make an arcana check.

EMILY: Okay.

LIAM: Whoa!

UTKARSH: Holy shit!

AIMEE: That was a--

LIAM: What a roll.

UTKARSH: Bor'Dor wakes up. What was that?

AIMEE: It's a natural one.

TALIESIN: That went so poorly.

(laughter)

EMILY: It's an 18.

TALIESIN: You have a lot of commitment.

UTKARSH: Hey!

MATT: 18, all righty. These aren't the standard arcana spell glyphs that you're used to. These have an old, original Draconic base. These have arcana script that is divine in nature, protective in nature, and in some cases near anti-magic.

LIAM: Oh shit.

MATT: You get the sense that they're--

UTKARSH: Is that bad?

MATT: It didn't seem to present itself in the battle, but there are means of the dispelling and dispersal of existing arcana within the enchantments that these Judicators wear.

AIMEE: Oh shit.

TALIESIN: Fascinating.

AIMEE: That's not good, right?

LIAM: Oh shit, old magic?

AIMEE: Isn't that like--

TALIESIN: Old magic.

MATT: It's old magic.

EMILY: Old magic.

LIAM: Old magic.

EMILY: Anti-magic.

MATT: (laughs)

EMILY: I think--

UTKARSH: Guess who eats old magic for breakfast?

TALIESIN: The longest inside joke. Old inside jokes.

AIMEE: (laughs) Bor'Dor.

(laughter)

LIAM: Seven year old joke.

UTKARSH: Do you?

MATT: You also do note that within some of the papers that are in the correspondence that have come here, there is discussion of the coming solstice. There's discussion of the dispersal of more powers from Vasselheim and Orthanzia temples to hold up points of interest.

EMILY: And what are those points of interest?

MATT: You assume they probably refer to nexus points, or places of existing power.

EMILY: Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if they listed them.

MATT: There was no list. There's just references to them.

EMILY: Okay.

UTKARSH: Is there anything in there about opening or closing the nexus points? Do they have?

EMILY: I'll look. Is there anything about opening or closing?

MATT: Not necessarily, but you've studied arcana for quite some time, being a practitioner yourself. Historically, the leylines that work across the land, the threads of magical energy that grow stronger at places that are both considered boundaries between the realms as they overlap, especially the inner planes. But also where ritualistic magic is considered stronger at these cross points. The leylines are stationary, except for during major celestial events, such as solstices, the Apogee being the largest. So there isn't necessarily a closure of the nexus. The nexus, if it follows the historical path of previous Apogee Solstices, the nexus remains where it sits until the next Apogee Solstice. So this area above Hearthdell is going to be a place of magical interest to a lot of people for a very long time.

EMILY: Oh.

UTKARSH: They're coming back.

EMILY: The vultures.

AIMEE: 170 years or something.

MATT: You gather this place--

UTKARSH: Zombies.

MATT: This is the beginning of its woes.

AIMEE: Yeah.

MATT: You begin to see the thread possibly of the elder's understanding of that.

AIMEE: Yeah. That makes sense.

TALIESIN: They're sitting on natural resources. That's a silver mine under there.

EMILY: Yeah.

MATT: Speaking about the Valley Coalition, speaking about the people of the center of Issylra seizing this opportunity, is because they know that if they don't do it soon, they're going to be overrun.

EMILY: I think that I look over all this information, I think of everything I've done. I see that my compatriots are deeply, deeply conflicted, but I have been away from home for 10 years, desperate for anything to make that decision worth it. I think the past two days feels like the best use of my skills and talents in the entire 10 years. So I stifle a private smile.

MATT: (laughs)

AIMEE: Yes, girl.

MARISHA: Oh yes.

MATT: It's a good look.

EMILY: Hmm.

MATT: (laughs)

EMILY: Yes, very solemn. This is very solemn, and not rad.

MATT: All right. An evening's rest comes to completion and in the following morning you are greeted with the smell of welcoming cooking of meats and breads. It seems that Elder Joan Abaddina has been up before the majority of your troop preparing a gentle breakfast for you.

AIMEE: I'm right next to her. Just--

MATT: Just helping her out. "If you don't mind, could you hand me the towel over there?"

AIMEE: Oh sure, yeah. Anything that'll get us to the Scry faster.

EMILY: Speaking of the Scry, do you have a Scry scroll that I could copy?

MATT: "I do not have a scroll, but I could create one for you if you'd like."

EMILY: That would be amazing.

MATT: "Of course. You have done a great service to the people of Hearthdell and myself. It would be the least I could."

AIMEE: Salting the eggs a lot.

MARISHA: No, like too much?

(laughter)

AIMEE: Yeah.

EMILY: And garlic, too. Let's do lots of fucking garlic.

LIAM: You're making me hungry.

(laughter)

UTKARSH: Hey, hey. Way too much sodium.

AIMEE: Got cake down there.

MARISHA: So much cake.

MATT: But yeah. You share breakfast, and unless there's any conversation you wish to have over breakfast, we could move to the next scene if you'd like.

MARISHA: Let's do it.

TALIESIN: I was hoping, you mentioned something about my condition. I don't know, something that you saw. I don't know.

MATT: "Oh, I am curious as to what this here is. I have not seen..."

TALIESIN: I don't really know.

MATT: "Mystery to us both, then."

TALIESIN: It-- It seems to bend the world, I guess. I have dreams, they're strange and inhuman, and sometimes I'm other people, but I'm not. And the few people who've decided to go looking in there, it was not fun for them.

MATT: "Hmm."

TALIESIN: Have you ever seen anything like this? I don't know.

MATT: "Like this? I have not, I have not at all. However, if indeed you are going to continue to travel, maybe speak with the spirits. Maybe things that are older than all of us combined might have better insight than this frail form and experience would."

TALIESIN: Well, speak with the spirits. Okay.

MATT: "You already hold a very strong connection to the elements, given..." She gestures to your (laughs) mostly stone form.

TALIESIN: You know, I've genuinely never thought about it.

MARISHA: (chuckles) Marisha and Laudna chuckles at that.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: This was done to me. This was not, or-- I don't know.

MATT: "Done to you?"

TALIESIN: By life.

MATT: "I understand that."

TALIESIN: I mean, it's who I am, but who knows who I was. I don't know.

MATT: "I hope you'll find it out."

TALIESIN: Thank you.

MATT: "You have a stout heart beneath that wall-like exterior."

TALIESIN: Appreciate that, and please never say that again.

MATT: "Oh, I will never. So, come with me." She finishes her breakfast and wipes her chin.

MARISHA: Finally!

MATT: Brings you into the chamber she had once presented before where there sits this risen, natural birdbath-like pool, and there with--

LIAM: Orym only slips in now quietly, unannounced and stands and does a thing where he pretends that he's not tired when he is really tired and yawns with his mouth shut.

MATT: Okay. "Glad you could join us, little one. Very well." She goes and starts reaching her hands up and pulling a bunch of ground minerals and taking bits of dried leaf and tossing them into the water. You watch as she raises her hand and the water level fills up from what was a low, dredged, dried-out basin is now filled to a crystal water, and she pulls a stool up and sits on the opposite side, her large, half-giant form cradling it from the sides, as she looks up and she glances and winks at a bauble. You see this small flower above unfurls, and with it, a glow that lights from above the surrounding bits of the chamber as you encircle the exterior of this. "What is it you wish to look for, if I might ask?"

EMILY: I think I'm lowest on the priority, so I think--

AIMEE: Yeah, you first.

EMILY: Yeah.

LIAM: I think that we, and then Orym pulls out a little box with a moon etched on it. We could start with this.

UTKARSH: Ooh. What is that?

LIAM: A gift from a friend, from the friends that were lost.

MATT: "Very well."

LIAM: Hands out to her.

MATT: She takes it and sets it upon the water where it gently floats. The wood that it's constructed from rather buoyant.

AIMEE: So interested.

MATT: She closes her eyes and breathes in deep, and you watch as she inhales. It's like that mist that you saw once surrounded the forest to form those strange images of natural creatures. The heavy moisture and the fog that crumpled the temple, seems to apparate from around and fill her nostrils. Then you begin to see the low mist rise within the chamber. It's not frightening, it's almost welcoming. The temperature doesn't chill, it still feels warm, if a bit more sultry. She exhales and opens her eyes, and you see that gray coloration with a tinge of blue within, that mist curls out from her eyes. As she does, she puts her hands out and turns her hands in a circular motion, begins to mutter under her breath. As she does, the water begins to naturally swirl, like a slow forming whirlpool on its own. The box that you gave her begins to turn faster and faster and faster. At a certain point, it looks like it's about to spill over the sides, as the displacement of the whirlpool begin to glide up on the edges. You can hear the rushing of water, and then at once, she stops and holds her hands. As it does, the whirlpool seems to freeze in place, and then slowly it fills up as the box sinks beneath the water vanishing from sight, and now this glass-like mirror surface that comes to the very, very top of this basin shows snow. Snow falling across a mountain range. You glance across and you can see this, the snow comes through. You see a small gnomish woman, beautiful brown skin, hair dark, pulled up into a bun-like thing. A knitted shawl across her shoulders and a cloak, holding a long stick of some kind. Wearing a very prominent symbol of the Dawnfather on her shoulder. Walking up the side of this as she glances behind, and you see another figure in a greenish, long cloak, skin metallic, like a rose gold, brass coloration. Reminds you of FCG, but bipedal, tall, thin, holding their cloak together as they continue looking around. Behind them, you see the familiar image of a small, crotchety-looking gnomish man. You see Chetney trekking behind also, glancing about with a bit of an excited energy, but also a bit odd in his distance from these unfamiliar figures that walk with them. Behind quickly, there you see Imogen looking towards Fearne as they both follow behind. You can see the gathering of these compatriots, as FCG wheels up alongside Imogen and Fearne. They all continue trekking through the snow as the perspective seems to shift behind, guiding the point of image as the elder changes her arms around the basin, and we see them climbing through this mountain range towards a series of towers, and the exterior of a mountain city about a mile or two off.

UTKARSH: Who's that?

LIAM: You're recognizable?

MARISHA: These are our friends.

UTKARSH: Where are they?

EMILY: Can I do a history check?

MATT: Indeed you can. If you would like to, anybody who is-- I'll say a decent history.

AIMEE: As a dwarf, as a mountain dwarf, would I know about mountains?

MARISHA: I'll do a history check.

EMILY: I look at it and it looks--

AIMEE: What would I add to that?

MATT: Add your--

LIAM: Zero.

MATT: Add your history. It'd be zero on that.

EMILY: I got a 26.

(oohing)

AIMEE: Oh, well, that's good.

LIAM: I got a 25.

(laughter)

AIMEE: I'll do it, too.

MATT: Okay.

AIMEE: You did it better.

UTKARSH: I got a eight.

(laughter)

MATT: Perfect!

EMILY: I have spent many nights in the map room. I think I know this.

MATT: With some of the perspective and the weather, and the location, it's hard to pick out. But what you both pick out, is in the middle of this snow-covered mountain range, of which there are many, many throughout Exandria, there is also a column of black and gray smoke that rises from one dark mountain that absconds from the snowfall in this region, which you recognize as Kravaraad. This is the one volcano that sits within the center of the Flotket Alps. It's in this moment that you know that they are not far from the city of Uthodurn. They are on the north side of Wildemount.

EMILY: They're in Kravaraad. They're alive. They're on this plane.

LIAM: Really far away.

MATT: As you watch them stepping away from this vision as it begins to go a bit cloudy, you can't help but watch as they're all trudging towards this city. Imogen stops, holding this cloak close and looks back, almost like she's making eye contact with the basin, with you. You see that look of worry and concern cross her face.

MARISHA: I lean forward and instinctually shout her name.

MATT: She turns around, and with that the image comes to rest.

UTKARSH: But they didn't look injured or anything like that?

MATT: No, they looked cold. They looked a bit frazzled. I would say you're certainly caught off-guard by another automaton-like figure, another construct like FCG. Though their coat was a bit tattered, like they had just been through some shit. But they look safe.

MARISHA: They're alive.

LIAM: It's something.

TALIESIN: And within reach.

LIAM: Reach.

UTKARSH: How far?

LIAM: They're on a different continent.

UTKARSH: We're in the same-- (chuckling) It's the same, the stupid squ-- We didn't-- How do we get there?

MARISHA: I don't know.

LIAM: Is there anyone here or close that we can go that can send us?

AIMEE: How about Vasselheim?

MATT: "I mean, there are those in Vasselheim that I'm certain could, if you garner their favor. I, myself do not quite have the knowledge and experience to grant what you wish, but--" She thinks for a second. "I know of one who might. Should you be up for the journey. Four or five days north of here, northward following the peak towards the Ascendant Bridge, until you reach the Irriam Canyon. If you delve into this canyon, along the northern depths of it, there lies a shrine embedded in the rock, surrounded in blue flora. This shrine is kept by Hevestro, Hierophant of the Emerald Tree, a powerful archdruid. One I once trained under."

UTKARSH: Hmm.

MATT: "Now the choice is yours. You might trek to this possibility, or you might choose the safety of the city, the Dawn Cradle."

UTKARSH: How far is the city?

MATT: "The city's along the road, it's a few hundred miles. It's a bit of a longer trek."

UTKARSH: A longer trek.

EMILY: Longer trek.

TALIESIN: It's on a road, so it's a safer trek, and everyone I would know in that city would be a raging piece of shit, but you know--

MARISHA: Vasselheim, is that what we're talking about?

EMILY: Well, I'm just--

TALIESIN: I would probably know a few pieces of shit there.

EMILY: I'm going to point it out that we do have all these documents from this, what would we call it, temple. So we could send ahead a false message with the seal that we didn't earn and say that we're coming, sort of being like, "Hey, will you help out these people?"

UTKARSH: Oh.

EMILY: I don't know, it's just a really random thought.

UTKARSH: Deception.

EMILY: But--

TALIESIN: Manipulative fucker.

EMILY: (chuckles) Yes, well, the pursuit of knowledge sometimes knows no morals.

UTKARSH: It worked with the beer.

MATT: "If you could in your own right--"

UTKARSH: I thought it was a good idea.

MATT: "-- get everyone in Vasselheim to shit their breeches. (laughter)

MATT: "There is no amount of gold we could make up for such an endeavor."

(laughter)

EMILY: Prolapse. We're going to need more laxatives.

UTKARSH: We're going to need a lot more laxatives.

(laughter)

AIMEE: I think Deni$e, hoping that the elder could, hoping she pulls a tuft of hair from between her boobs, and says: Could you do maybe one more?

MATT: "Of course, I have--" She thinks to a second and concentrates. "I think I can do, with some help, two more."

EMILY: Two more.

MATT: "Sightings."

EMILY: You should go and you should go, you have a sick brother.

AIMEE: Are you sure?

UTKARSH: Not my brother.

EMILY: Honestly, all I would do is probably just look at the Shadow Realm, because I haven't seen it in so long. Or I could try to Scry on Ludinus. Because I do have this trading card with his likeness on it.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Trading card.

EMILY: It's been canonically established.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: I may have a thing if no one else does, but--

UTKARSH: I'd rather-- yeah.

EMILY: No, I think you should. You should check in on your brother.

UTKARSH: There's no way that my brother's still alive.

MARISHA: You don't know that.

UTKARSH: I have to go to the Krakawowo-- What did you say that big tall black smoke thing was?

MATT: Kravaraad.

UTKARSH: Kravaraad. I got to go to the Kravaraad.

EMILY: I think, Deni$e, you go and then I'm going to strong arm Bor'Dor into checking on his brother.

MARISHA: I think you're right, I agree with that.

AIMEE: You guys don't want to see where Ludinus is?

UTKARSH: That's what I'm saying, we might as well see where this person you're chasing is.

EMILY: I'm learning this spell.

AIMEE: You are?

EMILY: Yes. I'm currently copying it, my quill moves without me.

AIMEE: Okay, she gives her the little pieces of hair. Hopefully she'll get them back.

LIAM: You helped us, we'll help you.

MARISHA: Yes, absolutely, I agree.

MATT: She settles in and once more conducts the ritual. A mirror of what you just watched, create its own mirror once more, as the hair is placed within the waters and it swirls, then swallowed to the depths of the swirl before she pulls forth the surface once more. There you see kind of frazzled, chewing on his nails, a young dwarven man with a bit of a flop of brown-red, auburn hair, chin beard that's been unkempt and a little heavily-grown. You see a dirty, scarred face.

AIMEE: Aw!

MATT: Sweat on his brow and a look of concern in his eyes, as he sits huddled in a dark space you can't quite make out. He sits and plays absentmindedly with the compass that hangs around his neck, and thinks for a second, licks his lips. First time you've seen his face in a little bit. You almost don't register the tension because you're so excited to see him.

AIMEE: So excited, but also she wants to fucking punch him. She's got a little teeny tiny tear, just comes down her cheek.

MARISHA: Oh!

MATT: He sits there for a second, looking off in the distance and you watch as his tension freezes and he just gets lost in a thought or a moment or a memory or a worry. You're uncertain. But it's like watching a dog suddenly stare at a plate of cupcakes it can't eat.

AIMEE: (laughing) Aw!

MATT: (laughs) He just kind of--

AIMEE: Chocolate chip cupcake.

MATT: Just sitting there before a hand catches his shoulder, a blue hand. He glances up, gives a nod, grabs his spear, and stands up. You see, on the periphery of the vision, a man standing, familiar to the three of you. Blue of skin, long, dark hair that fades to a white. Indeed, next to this dwarven man is your friend Dorian, also looking a bit worse for wear.

TALIESIN: Oh, for fuck's sakes! What the fuck?

UTKARSH: What the fuck?

TALIESIN: Who the fuck are you?

MARISHA: What the fuck?

AIMEE: That's the bag of dicks!

TALIESIN: That's our bag of dicks!

AIMEE: The dwarf?

TALIESIN: No, the other one! That's our bag.

AIMEE: Oh, I don't know him.

TALIESIN: He's our bag of dicks!

AIMEE: Well, there you go.

MATT: The vision fades.

AIMEE: (laughs)

TALIESIN: That fucker!

AIMEE: Thank you.

MATT: "Of course."

MARISHA: Bor'Dor.

UTKARSH: Okay, how does this work?

MATT: "Do you have something that you would wish to grant me that connects you to this individual?"

UTKARSH: I don't have anything on me that-- I have... What do I have on me?

EMILY: Do you have anything of your brother's?

UTKARSH: No.

EMILY: He's never given you a friendship bracelet?

MATT: "Any keepsakes? Anything that would be tethered to them, personally."

TALIESIN: A piece of clothing they made.

EMILY: If I had a sibling, maybe they--

MATT: "A gift."

UTKARSH: Can I put my hands in the water?

AIMEE and EMILY: (laugh)

AIMEE: Just put your balls in the water.

MARISHA: That's actually a good idea.

LIAM: Where have they been?

MARISHA: I feel like, you know?

UTKARSH: You know, they've--

MARISHA: Teabag the Scry well.

AIMEE: Yeah, they're twins. Will this work?

MATT: "I do not have a means of knowing this individual without an item. Unfortunately, I cannot look upon them."

UTKARSH: I don't have an item of his.

TALIESIN: Anything he gave you?

EMILY: You guys have never shared clothing?

LIAM: What about your--

UTKARSH: Do I make something up?

LIAM: Your crossbow or your dag-- No, that's not going to work.

EMILY: No, there must be something.

LIAM: Did he give you the crossbow or the dagger?

AIMEE: Did he make your cloak?

UTKARSH: No. (laughs) No.

EMILY: What about a memory?

MARISHA: The jerky!

UTKARSH: Can I use a memory?

AIMEE: Did he make you the jerky?

MARISHA: Did you know--

EMILY: The jerky?

UTKARSH: Sure, I give you the-- No, he didn't make the fucking jerky.

MATT: (laughs)

EMILY: He didn't make the jerky?

UTKARSH: I really think--

TALIESIN: Kind of a lazy motherfucker.

UTKARSH: I really think--

EMILY: I'm sorry, but how close are you guys, actually?

MARISHA: (laughs)

UTKARSH: He's been sick for a long time.

LIAM: Is he your older brother? Older or younger?

UTKARSH: Younger.

LIAM: Younger.

UTKARSH: I think--

EMILY: Wrote you a note.

UTKARSH: It would--

EMILY: Drew you a picture?

UTKARSH: Your friends are probably going to find Ludinus, right?

AIMEE: (uncertain) Mm.

TALIESIN: We'll find out.

AIMEE: They were in Marquet. Now they're in Wildemount.

UTKARSH: Let's go find him.

TALIESIN: We know where he is.

LIAM: That's not really a sure thing.

MARISHA: Don't you want to get back to your brother?

UTKARSH: I mean, we're going there regardless because I have to go to the Cyrios Mountains, which are within the Dwendalian Empire. Which, as far as I can tell, is near Wildemount, right?

EMILY: What about your home? Can you Scry on your home?

UTKARSH: Oh yeah! How do I do that?

MATT: "Do you have something from your home?"

UTKARSH: I mean, I guess all of this will work. Fuck it!

MARISHA: Your clothing is from your home, right?

AIMEE: Don't take it off!

EMILY: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Slowly.

MARISHA: Take it off.

(laughter)

UTKARSH: I'll give you my dagger.

LIAM: You don't speak for the group.

AIMEE: Oh, sorry! Excuse me.

EMILY and MARISHA: (laugh)

MARISHA: Have you seen his art? He's hot.

AIMEE: Yes.

TALIESIN: Let it happen.

MARISHA: He's unassuming and hot.

TALIESIN: Just let it happen.

MATT: Takes and places the dagger within the basin. The water begins to gather. "This is from your home?" As it swirls and the blade begins to sink within the water and descend, the glass surface fills up to the top. There, you see a vision of a homestead. Modest, but well-furnished. Not quite the home of, I'd say, a farmer or a person who keeps cattle or sheep. It's an unfamiliar space to you. You're not certain if this dagger is calling a connection to a place of import or particular answer to your question, unfortunately.

EMILY: Is that your house?

UTKARSH: Hmm.

MATT: "My apologies." The dagger swirls back up and she pulls it and hands it back to you.

UTKARSH: Can I give you something else?

MATT: "I've concluded my capabilities for the day, but allow me to copy this over for you."

EMILY: Yes.

MATT: "You will then be able to do this on your own as you travel."

AIMEE: That's cool as fuck.

EMILY: Yeah, you guys can spam Scrys on me.

MATT: "Very well."

AIMEE: Spam your Scry.

TALIESIN: Going on my newsletter.

EMILY: (laughs)

MATT: She goes ahead and gathers some materials and begins to copy over the incantation for the Scry spell in a way that she thinks will be best transferred from the nature-based magic she practiced and can be understood and conveyed into more expanded academy-based arcana.

EMILY: Cool.

MATT: But you gather your supplies and prepare yourselves for the coming journey. Is there anything else you wish to do or discuss before you head out from the cottage?

EMILY: I guess the question would be, I know everyone's dealing with some pretty heavy revelations, especially Bor'Dor (laughs) who basically got a Ring cam to someone else's home.

(laughter)

AIMEE: Literally!

UTKARSH: Who was that?

(laughter continues)

EMILY: We're here for you.

(laughter)

AIMEE: Doesn't look like a farmer's house!

MARISHA: (laughs)

EMILY: Do you guys feel called to the shrine in the canyon? Do you feel called to Vasselheim or some sort of trickery in that? I mean--

MARISHA: Was the canyon closer than the road to Vasselheim?

MATT: The canyon is closer, about four to five days' travel, but it is a dangerous journey.

LIAM: Vasselheim comes with trying to convince the established power system there to cut us a deal after we just--

UTKARSH: I kind of hope they have heard about what we did, too.

LIAM: -- raised hell here.

TALIESIN: Eh.

AIMEE: I don't know if they would, especially if we have all this shit.

EMILY: Yeah, we could go grab a couple insignia and pop off a letter that says, "Hey, we're fleeing from this town. We need to get here." It's always worth a try.

TALIESIN: We're small potatoes. I don't think they'd--

EMILY: Yeah.

AIMEE: I wonder if this--

MARISHA: I don't know, I'm kind of worried they don't.

AIMEE: -- Hevestro, is that the name?

MATT: Hevestro.

LIAM: Hevestro?

AIMEE: Hevestro? Do they seem like--

UTKARSH: Who would not? I think we're beautiful.

AIMEE: Where would be-- Would he be powerful enough to send us back?

LIAM: What they're describing--

TALIESIN: He's made out of rocks.

AIMEE: What do you think, a mage?

UTKARSH: He's got half a brain.

AIMEE: Is that what you said? No.

UTKARSH: No, full brain.

EMILY: He's a hierophant. The hierophant that can maybe teleport us.

TALIESIN: More.

AIMEE: What's that?

EMILY: It's like almost like a holy person, but I'm guessing that--

UTKARSH: The Hevestro.

EMILY: -- for them, it's a natural shamanic.

AIMEE: Oh, okay. Gotcha.

UTKARSH: Shaman.

MARISHA: Bor'Dor--

EMILY: Shamamina.

MARISHA: -- did make an excellent point that, normally, holy people who respect the passage of life into the beyond tend to not take kindly to this.

TALIESIN: That's true.

EMILY: Well, that's their loss. But it's also a good point.

UTKARSH: Could you send--

EMILY: We might be a conspicuous group.

UTKARSH: -- Mother and/or Pâté ahead?

MARISHA: Pâté.

UTKARSH: Does it go that far?

EMILY: Mother de-animates if she gets too far from me.

MARISHA: Yeah.

UTKARSH: Yeah. Yeah.

AIMEE: It's like those grocery shopping carts that just like--

MATT: Stop?

MARISHA: Yeah.

(laughter)

MATT: Damn it!

MARISHA: How does it work?

AIMEE: Do not steal this cart!

(laughter)

TALIESIN: I feel like the shrine might be the easiest way for us to move further.

AIMEE: Okay.

LIAM: My gut says Hevestro.

MARISHA: Hmm?

LIAM: My gut says Hevestro.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

AIMEE: Just out of curiosity, like tabletop, would it be a crazy thing to take a boat? I mean a ship? How do people go, usually, from continent to continent?

EMILY: Charter a ship?

AIMEE: Would it take months?

MATT: To to take from Issylra to Wildemount?

EMILY: Yeah, I want to know, too.

MATT: You'd probably want to go west complete to the opposite side. But the waters between there are... Well, you probably won't know too much about it, but it would take a while.

AIMEE: Yeah.

MATT: It would take a number of weeks by a normal ship. A skyship would go faster, but you'd have to go to somewhere where a skyship port is present, and you're not even certain where the nearest skyport would be.

LIAM: And we'd be--

TALIESIN: Magic is instant.

LIAM: -- going toward the Menagerie Coast--

UTKARSH: Don't you have a dimension in your head?

LIAM: -- if we did that.

UTKARSH: We can't just hop in your head?

MATT: Well, you guys could go to the Miskath Strand.

TALIESIN: There's only been a few people in there--

MATT: Which would be the eastern side of the continent.

TALIESIN: -- and they almost didn't get out.

MATT: But that area is all sorts of nasty.

UTKARSH: (sighs)

MARISHA: Druid?

LIAM: Druid.

MARISHA: Druid.

UTKARSH: Let's go. Let's do it!

MATT: The Elder returns a short time later--

UTKARSH: In the next episode.

MATT: -- presents to you a thick piece of--

MARISHA: Episode!

MATT: -- heavy, blanched parchment where you can see across it there's almost like-- It's like the entire inscription of the spell is in watercolor.

UTKARSH: Wow!

MATT: It's beautiful.

EMILY: This is more than a scroll. It's a keepsake!

AIMEE: It's art.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: "I appreciate that."

EMILY: I have a minus two to strength, so I can't even hold it up.

MATT and MARISHA: (laugh)

EMILY: It's so heavy.

MATT: "If you require a guide, we can send an eidolon to perhaps show you the way."

EMILY: That'd be great.

UTKARSH: Oh, yeah!

AIMEE: So nice!

ALL: (murmur agreement)

MATT: "Where is your destination then?"

EMILY: The Irriam Canyon.

MARISHA: I guess the Irriam Canyon.

UTKARSH: Irriam Canyon.

AIMEE: Irriam Canyon.

EMILY: Irriam Canyon.

MATT: "Fire, wind, or earth?"

EMILY: (gasps)

AIMEE: What?

MARISHA and EMILY: Fire, wind, or earth?

LIAM: Wind.

UTKARSH: Yes, wind.

EMILY: Wind?

MARISHA: Wind?

AIMEE: What?!

MATT: She steps out of her cottage, she raises her hand up for a second, closes her eyes and mutters something. The wind picks up a bit (soft blowing) around, dust picks up a bit. You watch as this dust cloud swirls and begins to take the form of this semi-ethereal cougar.

AIMEE: (amazed) Oh!

MATT: And it sits there, this perpetual shifting form of a wind cat. Stops and turns around and looks back at you, these pale, gold glowing eyes within as it looks at the rest of you. As the rest of the wind dies down, this entity just stays. This little radius of about two or three feet around this elemental wind cat remains, awaiting when you are ready to go.

UTKARSH: Wow.

AIMEE: Wow!

LIAM: Wind cougar.

MARISHA: Wind cougar!

AIMEE: That's my nickname.

MARISHA: There's got to be-- Yeah!

MATT: (laughs)

EMILY: Because I like younger men and I fucking pass a lot of gas.

AIMEE: That's right.

(laughter)

AIMEE: Windy!

(laughter continues)

EMILY: I mean, I'm ready.

MARISHA: I'm ready.

AIMEE: I'm ready.

UTKARSH: Let's go.

TALIESIN: Let's go.

MATT: "Where your journeys take you, may luck be at your back. May you be safe. Should you find others of the Valley Coalition, tell them what has been done here and know that we are at the ready to help them as well. Stay safe. I'm going to finish my tea."

AIMEE and EMILY: (laugh)

MATT: She goes back into her cottage and closes the door.

AIMEE: Nice.

MATT: As the now morning sun is slowly giving into the beautiful blue skies, dappled with broken clouds, the recent gray skies fading into the day's journey you see ahead of you, the grass of the nearby farmland swaying as the forest beyond that turns into the perpetually gliding and rolling carpet of greens and grays. You can see the Ascendant Bridge peak far the north. As you take your first step, your wind cougar (soft snarl) turns around and begins to mark the guiding path to your journey ahead.

AIMEE: (squeals)

MARISHA: That's cool.

MATT: We'll go ahead and close it out there.

UTKARSH: Knew it!

MARISHA: Woo!

MATT: (laughs)

EMILY: I couldn't be happier!

MARISHA: Wind cougar bound!

AIMEE: Oh, we can do that!

TALIESIN: I feel like that worked out pretty well.

AIMEE: And new spell for you!

TALIESIN: All things considered.

LIAM: A wind cougar. It can be the wind beneath their wings.

UTKARSH: We're going to get messed up in the wind.

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I didn't even know I always wanted a wind cougar. Now, I can't imagine life without one.

(laughter)

UTKARSH: Remember, WizKids.io.

(laughter)

UTKARSH: For all your needs, big and small.

(laughter)

MATT: I hope that goes to a porn site now.

AIMEE: (laughs)

UTKARSH: Isn't that what it is?

LIAM: Thanks, Joan.

MATT: (laughs)

AIMEE: Thanks, Joanie!

LIAM: ♪ Joan, Joan, Joan ♪

TALIESIN: ♪ Joan ♪

MATT: Thank you all so much for joining us.

MARISHA: Good shit, you guys.

MATT: We'll pick up where this journey goes next time.

MARISHA: You killed an angel.

UTKARSH: I hated it.

(laughter)

EMILY: That angel ♪ deserved to die ♪

TALIESIN: It was a celestial, technically. A celestial.

MATT: Yeah, yeah.

TALIESIN: A celestial. You know.

MARISHA: He looks like an angel, smells like an angel.

LIAM: ♪ Walks like an angel ♪

UTKARSH: Throws fire. Shoots fire bolts down like an angel

MARISHA: Angel. Yes! (laughs) Smites people of the earth!

UTKARSH: Poor guy.

AIMEE: ♪ He had it coming ♪

MARISHA: Yeah.

(laughter)

MATT: Well, we'll continue forward next time as we slowly close the gap of knowledge and possible future reunion. Learn more about each other as we go and what dangers lay ahead, here in the center of Issylra. Thank you all so much for joining us. We love you very much, and is it Thursday yet? Good night!