Transcript:The Mighty Nein Reunited Part 1 – Unfinished Business

Pre-show
MATT: Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

ALL: (garbled) We play Dungeons & Dragons!

LIAM: We do?

MATT: Yeah. We have a cool little special reunion of our second campaign characters, The Mighty Nein.

TRAVIS: Oh boy.

MATT: Excited for that. But yeah, we do have some announcements to get to before we jump into this. Beginning with that, we do have our sponsor for tonight. D&D Beyond. Sam.

TRAVIS: ♪ D&D Beyond ♪

SAM: It's a classic sponsor for a classic show. D&D Beyond's digital tool set is the best way to start playing Dungeons & Dragons. That's why we use it. They're having a massive-- Oh, are they having a massive Monday-- Are they having-- We're going to cut this out, right? (laughter)

SAM: Are they having a massive Cyber Monday sale? You bet they are. However, due to scheduling issues we taped this before the sale details were finalized. So here is a non-legally binding list of things that I think will be on their sale for Cyber Monday. Digital Dice.

LIAM: Safe bet.

SAM: Some new books for your DM, like "Explorers Guide to Wildemount," or "Call of the Netherdeep." Matt's first vest, the one he was born in. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Uh oh.

SAM: My used cat hairballs. A hot water bottle from the backseat of Ashley's car. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Or 10.

SAM: 20 feet of rope. My baby teeth, all 400 of them. Liam's musk, Marisha's seeds and stems. 19 feet of rope.

TRAVIS: Seeds and stems.

SAM: Pockets. Purple Stuff, Sunny D, an extra one foot of rope. A ghost that looks like Taliesin, a ghost that doesn't look like Taliesin. A clock thing.

MARISHA: Wait, wait.

SAM: A box.

MARISHA: Sam, are you--

SAM: A rope.

MARISHA: Have you just started naming things that you see around the set?

SAM: Yes, I have. No! I'm naming stuff that you can buy from D&D Beyond, like oars, an old ship wheel, Marisha's body double. If you can buy yourself stuff, you can gift stuff for your friends.

MARISHA: I'm supposed to read this disclaimer. "Literally none of those, past the first two, are real. And Sam's an idiot."

SAM: Who wrote the disclaimer?

MARISHA: D&D Beyond.

SAM: Oh!

MARISHA: Including the idiot part.

SAM: Okay. Well, handle your whole holiday list in a single click. Don't miss D&D Beyond Cyber Monday Sale. D&D Beyond is the best place to play. Cyber Monday is the best time to buy. (laughter) Then there's a big link, DNDBeyond.link/crsale. Then there's a big link, DNDBeyond.link/crsale. Matt, back to you.

LAURA: H-T-T-P-S, colon slash slash.

SAM: Matt, back to you. I'm reading this for the first time. Hashtag, which Marisha is it? I guess we're implying that you're not real.

MARISHA: I don't get it. (laughter)

MARISHA: Reminder! To tune in at 7:00pm Pacific.

TRAVIS: Roll copy, roll copy.

SAM: I like it. I like it.

MARISHA: On December 1st, on Twitch, YouTube, or in participating Cinemark theaters.

SAM: Cinemark? That's my favorite movie theater.

MARISHA: Yes, that's the same Cinemark. For part two.

ASHLEY: Part deux.

MARISHA: Part deux of the Mighty Nein Reunited, which is the second part of this thing that you're watching right now.

SAM: Wow.

MATT: Indeed. Sam, you have those announcements--

SAM: I have something else? Apparently.

MATT: Yes, you do. Keep talking, Sam! Go!

SAM: A lot of cold reading tonight. Tonight, guys, you're going to be here. Hey, everybody. (laughter)

SAM: I feel like Laura Bailey. Hey! I've got some things to say! (laughter)

SAM: Tonight, you'll be hearing tracks from our recently-released-- I love you.

LAURA: I like that everybody laughed that hard at it.

SAM: Tonight. (laughter)

MATT: It was a really good impression.

SAM: Tonight you're going to be hearing tracks from our recently-released full-length soundtrack album called "Welcome to Wildemount." The album contains 20 immersive tracks inspired by the continent of Wildemount, and the adventures of the Mighty Nein. The music was composed by members of the Hexany Audio roster, Omar Fidel, and our friend Colm McGuinness. The album features *stunning** cover art by Kent Davis. "Welcome to Wildemount" is out on all major digital music platforms under Critical Role. Go buy or stream it now. That's it.

MATT: Awesome.

SAM: (shouts) Do I have more to do? Jesus!

LAURA: I don't know.

SAM: I feel like I've been talking for an hour.

MATT: There should be another script over there. No. I'm excited. On top of all the music that's on there, there's also the Lucien boss battle music at the end of Campaign 2 that Colm McGuinness collaborated with me and made incredible-- Ahh, I'm so excited the world gets to actually listen to that more.

SAM: Do you not like music?

TRAVIS: Not a single sound.

MATT: Anyway.

MARISHA: (laughs) (laughter)

SAM: Is it really just me? I'm doing all the announcements.

MATT: Yes, yes. Well, you're so good at it. (laughter)

MATT: So. I'm going to be breaking format here a little bit tonight. As opposed to jumping into our intro, we're going to jump into a little prologue here in a minute. But before we do that, I want to say. First off, thank you for coming to this. The Mighty Nein mean a lot to us, and we've missed them very much these past-- God, a year and a half almost. Getting a little later in that point. It's been a while since we've touched on these characters. And it's nice.

ALL: ♪ It's been a while ♪

MATT: It's nice to settle into this space again. So thank you for coming along for this silliness. But to that point. It has been six months since the fall of Cognouza, and the destruction of Lucien. The Mighty Nein, returning back to Wildemount and Exandria proper, have dealt with the immediate ramifications of the decision that they've made, the arrest of Trent Ikithon, the reality that the arrest of Trent Ikithon, the reality that they've come to a point of closure across many stories. And now have their lives to continue on from this point. After some tearful goodbyes to friends and allies, until you meet them again, to deciding what the next journey was before you. The group that you know as the Mighty Nein fractured a bit to pursue personal journeys, to discover who they are outside of the struggles that brought them together. But never losing the binds that originally brought them as a team, and since made them a family. Now, in this time that has passed, not too much has changed in Exandria at large. The struggles, the dangers that you undertook and succeeded at, only really known by a select few. In some circles you are highly regarded and lauded, though they are themselves semi-secretive circles. For now, your paths have somewhat scattered. And here, six months later, let's go ahead and begin in Nicodranas with you, Veth Brenatto.

SAM: Again? (laughter)

SAM: I just talked. (experimental Veth sounds)

MATT: There you go. Dial it in, dial it in.

ASHLEY and SAM: (like Veth) Ahh! Aah.

TRAVIS: Tuning fork.

MATT: Yes. Here we come down in the midday of a sunny Nicodranian afternoon. The sun is high in the sky, which is piercing blue, but a small few tufts of white clouds in the distance. A warm breeze blows in from the ocean. You can hear the waves crashing from pretty much anywhere in the city, at the rate in which the surf is quite invitational to those who enjoy swimming, surfing, or being battered against the rocks if they're in the wrong place along the coast. But here, in the city, it is lively. It's filled with color, and laughter, and people running through the streets, taking on their business, looking forward to when the evening takes hold, the lights and colors change, and more merriment and revelry takes the city of Nicodranas. However, for now in this afternoon you, Veth. Where are you right now? What are you doing?

SAM: Oh boy. Veth is making-- making plans to to receive the first ever crop of new campers at their new the first ever crop of new campers at their new camp that they've just been setting up for the past six months. It's a camp for talented young adventurers, young arcane practitioners, majors in training, fighters, rogues. We will receive these talented youngsters, and train them into fighters or defenders for their own villages, wherever they might come from. The camp is called the Wildemount Wildlings. (chants) Wild Out. (laughter)

SAM: We have t-shirts that are made with "Wild Out" on it. The different cabins that they might be staying in. There's the Happy Fun Cabin. There's a cabin called the Shakäste Cabin. There's A5 Cabin. There's the Balleater Cabin. Yeza recommended against that one. (laughter)

SAM: We're going to receive a few, a few students, campers, from around the world. Some are sailing in. Some are coming by carriage, or by horse, or by foot. There's folks from the Xhorhasian wild, a young male wizard named Soldes. There's someone coming from Zephrah, Naphalene of the Air Ashari. There's a young dragonborn rogue named Pidge who's coming all the way from Draconia. Luc is a little young to participate, officially, but definitely, definitely does all of the activities but definitely, definitely does all of the activities that everyone else does as well.

MATT: Interesting. What is the average age of these arriving campers?

SAM: 13, 14, 15.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Even a couple that are older, 16, 17. There's a few phenoms that are slightly younger than that. But Luc is a little bit too young. These are kids who can stay overnight by themselves without being scared for Mommy and Daddy.

MATT: Understood, understood. Okay.

SAM: Also, the program is very rigorous. There's an obstacle course, and there's-- There's also fun activities. We do beach camp activities, surfing. (laughter)

SAM: Yeah, I don't do that. But Yeza teaches them alchemy. We have guest lecturers sometimes. We're trying to get Caleb to come down to teach a wizarding workshop. Yasha has said that she has a lot of time on her hands. She was going to come down and run them through some strength training, and some fighting techniques. Dagen was maybe going to, if I can get Dagen to come down and teach survival skills. There's all sorts of things. But this is the first crop of kids. So we don't know what's going to work or not. I'm a little nervous.

LAURA: Did you ask Jester to help?

SAM: I haven't...

LAURA: You should ask Jester.

SAM: I don't know how to reach Jester. I don't know where she is. (laughter)

SAM: There's a mess hall. Oh, everyone who starts at the camp, they get their own little custom Wildemount Wildlings-- (chants) Wild Out! They get their own flask, which they can keep water in. You know, because it gets hot out. They get their own flask.

TALIESIN: A canteen, I think, is what--

SAM: It's called a flask. (laughter)

SAM: The last thing I'll say about this camp. I'm so excited about, I'm sorry.

MATT: I can tell.

SAM: Going on and on about it. It's free. It's free. You don't have to pay for it, because we have a wealthy benefactor named The Gentleman. He and I have this lovely arrangement, wherein he takes his blood money-- (laughter)

SAM: -- and launders it--

TRAVIS: Oh no!

SAM: -- by having a legitimate charity that he donates it to.

TRAVIS: Boy...

SAM: Whatever I don't use, I send back to him.

TRAVIS: There it is.

SAM: It's clean, you know. It's a clean arrangement. The kids get something. He gets something. Everyone gets something from it.

TRAVIS: Oh jeez.

TALIESIN: You're the one who camps. (laughter)

MATT: Well. Indeed, this is quite an endeavor that you've developed, it seems. Effectively waiting for the first crop to arrive, by sunset, if not later this evening. You're uncertain to the specific arrival time. But you do know that some preparation is required. A part of that, of course, is groceries, perhaps for a necessary meal to greet this new crop. Make them feel at home. Make them feel welcome. So you are walking down the streets of Nicodranas, towards the southern sector of the Opal Archways, with Luc in tow, carrying two large canvas shopping bags. He drags on the ground behind you. Likely going to tear a hole in one of them by the time you arrive. But you don't want to bother him too much with it. He's basking in the afternoon sun. You watch folks continue to streak by, bustle about their business. Couple of people you recognize, giving a nod or a wave as you go. Luc rubs his nose and looks up to you, as you pass down the stone street going, "So Mom? Mom? Mom?"

SAM: Yes, Luc. Yes?

MATT: "Mom? Are there going to be-- How many friends are coming?"

SAM: I think 13 or 14 are coming in. You don't get assigned a cabin. You can go to any cabin you want, and you can be in any class that you want. You can learn magic. We've already taught you some, but we'll teach you more.

MATT: "Okay, okay. That means I can go into any of them any time?"

SAM: Well, I mean, if someone's changing, or if it's someone that wants privacy, you should knock first. You shouldn't be doing your scampering thing where you--

MATT: "What if I'm practicing not being heard?"

SAM: At the camp, there will be times when we practice and times when we're just a camp. We're just having fun. We're swimming-- Well, not me. But other people are swimming, or doing archery. But fun archery, not deadly archery. That sort of stuff.

MATT: "Okay."

SAM: So just know when it's the appropriate time to sneak, and an appropriate time not to. We've been working on this.

MATT: "Right. And I learn through action. Okay."

SAM: Yes, you do. You'll figure it out. You'll make some mistakes. That's what kids are supposed to do. It's fine.

MATT: "Make lots of mistakes."

SAM: Yeah, exactly.

MATT: He's walking down, clutching the bag, swinging them side by side. As you're traveling down, you look to your left, and passing by your husband's recently-opened shop here in Nicodranas, The Brenatto's Better Self, his reinvention of his alchemy business here in the town of Nicodranas. Hasn't seen a whole lot of business yet, but you're-- He's very eager and excited that word will catch on. But as you walk through the street, you see him putting up a new sign, (hammering) nailing it to the front, that says, "Grand Opening!" He's put up the sign three times. But it's been there for the better part of a month. He finishes nailing it, wiping off the sweat of his forehead, and sees you walking by.

SAM: Looks good, honey!

MATT: "Oh hey, thank you. Yeah, just excited to bring in some more folks. It's really hot today."

SAM: Yeah, it's this-- You would think that there's a sea breeze. They say there's a sea breeze, but there really isn't.

MATT: "I mean, well, there is. It's just right now it's being blocked by all the buildings. I didn't think about that when we bought this real estate for the business. It's kind of not getting the ocean."

SAM: Well, let's see. I think once the customers start coming in and out we'll be able to buy some fans or something, I don't know.

MATT: "Maybe something like that. We'll figure it out, but anyway."

SAM: Do you have any new mixtures that you're peddling, or any new things that we can offer to the people?

MATT: "I've been thinking about it. I've been-- The holistic, non-medical treatments seem to have been going well. The various oils, scents. I'm not much of a-- You know I lost my sense of smell for the most part, when I was a kid from that one accident when I jammed the thing in my nose. But, you know-- Well, with Luc and working on some elements. Mrs. Vinia next door, I've been getting her input on a few of these oils. If ever you have an opportunity to come by and try out some of these new--"

SAM: I'd love to try whatever you have, yeah.

MATT: "Oh great. Come on, yeah. Come on in. Luc! Luc! Luc."

SAM: Where do you go? Where'd he go?

MATT: You look behind and he's currently in the process of sneaking behind one of the carts across the street, which seems to be carrying a number of heavy tunics laid over. So he's watching, and he's like bags still blossoming out, way too noticeable, like two little airbags. But he's like. He's looking down, hears his name and peeks out. (grunts) Darts off and joins.

SAM: You would've-- That was a good sneak. That was high quality stealthing.

MATT: "Maybe I won't do it with bags."

SAM: Yeah, that's a good lesson learned.

MATT: He darts inside. Yeza sighs for a second and smiles. "Well, do you like grapefruits?"

SAM: For the purpose of this, yes, I do. Yes.

MATT: "Okay. I got a whole plethora of new grapefruit-based oil scents that I think I'll go ahead and--"

SAM: It's just for like...

MATT: "To open your nasal passages and for general--"

SAM: It's not for a specific condition or anything?

MATT: "No, no, no. The medical treatments are more chemical in nature. This is just where I'm trying to branch out from, so."

SAM: Oh, got it.

MATT: "Come on in. We'll try to pass on this."

SAM: Let me smell.

MATT: So as the family drifts into Brenatto's Better Self, we're going to pull away from Nicodranas, and instead, head over towards Zadash in the middle of the Dwendalian Empire. Here, we come in over the triangular city. Its walls tall. Its people busying themselves in their own unique ways throughout the afternoon as the sun slowly gets further and further in the sky. Here, we now glance in the exterior beautifully kept walls of the Library of the Cobalt Soul here in Zadash. Within, we see the numerous keepers of the library. Trained monks and scholars and archivists and protecting guards and warriors. Below there still, the protected traverse ring where all of the various teleportation circles are linked to the other libraries and locations networked through the Cobalt Souls network. Here, one of the Cobalt Soul archivist guardians sits reading through a book as one of the central rings, just still and quiet, flares. And out comes barreling a busied, intense-looking Beauregard Lionett. Beauregard, if you could describe your exit Beauregard, if you could describe your exit from the circle and where you're off to.

MARISHA: With a deep intent to be off the clock as quickly as possible and at home and on the couch with my woman and her home cooked meal, and I'm fucking done. Fucking done. (laughter)

TRAVIS: She's grace. She's glamor. (laugher)

LIAM: When are you going to start role playing? (laughter)

TRAVIS: I'm fucking done.

MARISHA: Need a fucking cocktail.

MATT: As you're charging out, the library guardian sitting there stands up and notices your arrival and quickly tries to hail you.

MARISHA: Off the clock.

MATT: "Beauregard--"

MARISHA: I'm off the clock.

MATT: "Okay."

MARISHA: Work-life boundaries. We've talked about this.

MATT: "Of course, of course." Sits back down and continues to read, not even making eye contact.

MARISHA: I'll be in tomorrow, 8:00am.

MATT: (laughs)

MATT: Charging up the stairs to the center of the library floor, you can see it's a calm and quiet interior at this time of the day. Generally, it's busy more in the center of the day or late evening. For the midafternoon period, most folks are in their own transitional work points in the day. The quiet doesn't faze you as you push through, though you see a number of the other monks and archivists turn their heads to take note of your brisk exit from the premises. As you head out from the streets, you arc over towards the Innerstead Sprawl to your home. If you wouldn't mind describing what your home looks like.

MARISHA: Oh. I imagine we would have to do this together.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: I imagine it's like, you know, it's nothing super elaborate.

ASHLEY: Nothing wild.

MARISHA: Super cozy.

ASHLEY: Very cozy. We have a garden that I've been working on with Caduceus so we could plant and have a little piece of land just for ourselves.

MARISHA: Yeah, absolutely.

ASHLEY: Quaint.

MARISHA: We got nice little ivy growing up the front, or at least trying to get it to grow.

ASHLEY: A small fireplace with our cushy couch and a furry rug.

MARISHA: Yeah. I took a spare room and I turned it into my office.

ASHLEY: Yes, you have to have an office.

MARISHA: I have to have my own office.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MARISHA: It's a bit of a mess.

ASHLEY: I also have a side. I have my own cave also. It has some workout gear, but mostly, you know--

TRAVIS: It's a closet.

ASHLEY: -- painting and different cooking things. I've been learning a lot from our neighbor, Martina Steward, who's a very good cook. (laughter) She's taught me so much. She's taught me so much.

TRAVIS: Good old Martina.

MARISHA: Good old Miss Steward.

ASHLEY: Good old Miss Steward.

TRAVIS: M.S.

ASHLEY: I am-- (laughs) When you come home, I'm outside with my little basket, and I'm collecting edible flowers to put in the basket.

MARISHA: Oh. Oh, like nasturtiums, with those little--

ASHLEY: Yes.

MARISHA: Yeah. Baby.

ASHLEY: Baby!

MARISHA: Come here.

ASHLEY: Baby.

MARISHA: I miss you.

ASHLEY and MARISHA: (smooching)

ASHLEY: Okay. I went a little crazy for dinner tonight.

MARISHA: What did you do?

ASHLEY: We're going to have a wedge salad.

MARISHA: Mm.

ASHLEY: With tomatoes from our garden.

MARISHA: Okay.

ASHLEY: Heirloom, of course.

MARISHA: Fuck, those are in season. I forgot.

ASHLEY: Yeah, they're in season, which is why they're so juicy and delicious.

MARISHA: (groans) Fuck yes.

ASHLEY: Eat them like an apple.

MATT: "I would maybe recommend them with a soft saute and salt." As you turn around and see the halfling graying blonde hair of Martina Steward-- (laughter)

MATT: -- who is out in front of her yard now in a billowing blouse with her own basket, leaning forward.

ASHLEY: Hello, Martina.

MARISHA: Martina. Earlier today--

MATT: "Beauregard, nice to see you."

MARISHA: Hi. You were listening?

ASHLEY: Earlier today--

MATT: "I was in my house yard and you walked by, yes."

MARISHA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: We churned some blue cheese together today. I think that's what you can do with blue cheese.

MARISHA: You churned blue cheese?

TRAVIS: Is that what you do with blue cheese?

ASHLEY: Actually, I don't know if that's how it works.

LIAM: It's a one-step process.

ASHLEY: Well, it's a weird kind of a way to present it and make it.

MARISHA: Okay. Okay.

MATT: "She's still learning."

TRAVIS: It accelerates the blue cheese process.

ASHLEY: Still working on it. But going to sprinkle that on top with a little bit of a nice peppery scorpion tail.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I know. Your favorite. What we're going to have for dinner, this is a little bit of a wild card. Don't tell Jester, but it's going to be a weasel tongue intestine stroganoff style.

MARISHA: Interesting, okay.

ASHLEY: Yeah. Give it a go. It's heating up, so when you go inside, you're going to smell it. And of course, the best year of Lionett wine.

MARISHA: Fuck, I love you.

ASHLEY: I love you so much.

MARISHA: You're so hot.

ASHLEY: You're so hot.

MATT: "That sounds like an incredible meal. A wonderful dinner."

MARISHA: Martina, you're still here. (laughter)

MATT: "Just picking things from my garden for my own solitary dinner for myself."

ASHLEY: Martina, we are going to work on this. We've talked about this. You need to get out there. You know, for women of your age, there's many, so many people out there for you.

MATT: "Oh, I do fine, darling."

ASHLEY: If we found each other--

MATT: "Don't be giving me any sort of lip for my ability to pull."

MARISHA: Yeah, you're quite a catch, Martina.

ASHLEY: Quite a catch. I mean--

MARISHA: You deserve-- You know, I'm pretty sure the Reserve is actually, you know, the Library, I think they're starting up a new book club night Thursday nights.

ASHLEY: There it is, book club.

MATT: "I didn't know that."

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah, you know, it's a little way they're trying to do more community initiatives to try and help.

MATT: "Well, I'd love to talk more about that sometime. Maybe over dinner."

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah.

MATT: "Okay."

MARISHA: You should just tell them-- Not tonight. Not tonight.

ASHLEY: Not tonight, we have--

MATT: "No, no, no. I wouldn't possibly intrude. Of course, that would be rude of me."

MARISHA: No, yeah.

MATT: "But we'll work on the cheese another time."

ASHLEY: We'll work on the churning for sure.

MATT: "Yeah, it's not churning. Good night."

ASHLEY: That's butter.

MARISHA: Night.

ASHLEY: I think I made it--

MARISHA: Yeah, I think it is butter.

ASHLEY and MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: She heads into her chambers.

ASHLEY: Okay, come, come, come.

MARISHA: Okay. I just kept going and I just plop, and I kind of face plant.

ASHLEY: How was your day, honey?

MARISHA: It was fine. It was fine.

ASHLEY: What's wrong? I feel like-- Put your feet up. Come, come, come.

MARISHA: Okay. Oh my god. Oh, thank you. Oh god, these fucking boots that they're making us wear now.

ASHLEY: Yeah, these are intense.

MARISHA: (groans in relief)

ASHLEY: I actually kind of like them. Can I try them on, actually?

MARISHA: Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

ASHLEY: They're very cute.

MARISHA: They might be a little small for you.

ASHLEY: Yeah, they're a little small.

MARISHA: I can also just swipe you a pair and they'll never notice.

ASHLEY: I mean...

MARISHA: No, it's fine. It's just, you know, I keep going back and forth to Rexxentrum and trying to track the Assembly, but they're all so skittish right now after everything, so they're not doing anything. It's so fucking boring.

ASHLEY: Yeah, they're a little quiet. Which I don't know if that's a good thing, but it also kind of makes me more nervous.

MARISHA: I mean, they're always-- They're clearly still up to stuff. So I was just trying to figure out how to get in, and I keep trying to convince Caleb to go in and take this teaching job, that way we can have an inside man, but he's like, (Caleb) "Oh, I just, you know, want to dip my feet in."

ASHLEY: Why? He needs to just do it. He needs to do it. He needs to do it.

MARISHA: Then Yudala Fon is like, (Yudala) "Oh, patience and time reveal all truths." Blah.

ASHLEY: Blah.

MARISHA: I don't know. If I have to file one more report or do one more security watch, I'm just going to go insane.

ASHLEY: I'm sorry, baby.

MARISHA: It's okay. How about you? How's your day been?

ASHLEY: I totally had a really good day. It was really... I had a relaxing day. I mean, since hanging up my sword, I really have enjoyed home life, you know?

MARISHA: You're so good at it.

ASHLEY: I feel like I'm pretty good at it, too. Thank you. I mean, for not really having one, this is nice.

MARISHA: I don't know how I got so lucky.

ASHLEY: I don't either.

MARISHA: Oh shit, but remind me again when your trip to the Wildemount Wildlings camp is.

ASHLEY: Oh, yes.

MARISHA: It's coming up, right?

ASHLEY: Yeah, it's coming up again because I was helping build the Happy Fun Cabin.

MARISHA: Oh, that's right.

ASHLEY: So I think that's the one that I'm going to mainly be working with those kids.

MARISHA: The Happy Fun Cabin.

ASHLEY: But I've been preparing a class of certain type of self defense, and I was thinking of maybe also maybe teaching a cooking class on the side.

MARISHA: Oh, I love that.

ASHLEY: But just a little something, you know, something foraging from wherever you're from.

MARISHA: Foraging is a good idea.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: I like that.

ASHLEY: I think it's a nice skill to have and all the bugs that you can actually eat for protein. So, I'm excited.

MARISHA: You should teach them your grasshopper frittata.

ASHLEY: Yes, oh my god, because that one's pretty easy, too, for kids.

MARISHA: Yes.

ASHLEY: Classic, classic. I love you.

MARISHA: That's a good one. I love you.

ASHLEY: Well, would you like to eat? Or do you want to just sit by the fire and have some wine first?

MARISHA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: Let's do that.

ASHLEY: Here you go, baby.

MARISHA: Cheers.

ASHLEY: Cheers.

MARISHA: Clink.

ASHLEY: I'm going to go finish cooking.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: (laughs) Settling in for the night in your abode after a long day of frustrating busy work and bookkeeping, we now draw our attention away from Zadash, and instead, far off across the Menagerie Coast, the Swavain Island, somewhere amongst the waters, there is a ship. The Balleater itself has been at sea for some time. If Fjord, Jester, and Kingsley, who are aboard of this, describe where you are currently amongst the ocean, Captain, I imagine, and what your current business is.

TRAVIS: Well, I think we've established a trade route where we monitor the waters in between the Menagerie Coast and Darktow. We're also starting to try and put to sea, if you will, a venture called Stone's Throw Shipping.

ASHLEY: Woo!

TRAVIS: Stone's Throw. We're work-shopping it.

MATT: No, I like it. It's good.

TRAVIS: Every time I say it though, Jester kind of winces and smiles with her teeth.

LAURA: No, it's good. It's really good.

TRAVIS: Like that. That face. You know, we're trying to make a name for ourself, but after buying a very small, a little piece of property in Nicodranas because we didn't want to live under--

LAURA: I think it would've been fine if we would've stayed at the Lavish Chateau.

TRAVIS: It was weird.

LAURA: But I understand that you feel a little bit strange about.

TRAVIS: We're exploring each other, and it's a weird place to have that happen.

LAURA: Right. Right. I really like our place, though. It is very little, but we've painted it up. Every time we come into port--

TRAVIS: It's a lot of color.

LAURA: -- we're fixing it up. It's really nice.

TRAVIS: Maybe too much color.

LAURA: Then there's a little side section where I have my own art studio, you know? Which is really fun.

TRAVIS: Yes. The studio is the house.

LAURA: Well.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: The couch is on the one side, and then the other side, it's the art studio is the specific--

TRAVIS: My haven: the couch. We don't spend much time there, but the sea really called to both of us, and we've taken it in stride. So Stone's Throw Shipping, every time we save a ship or thwart some pirate activity, we have really nice cards. Really nice cards.

LAURA: Yes, I've made a whole bunch of them, actually.

MATT: Fantastic.

TRAVIS: We just make sure that that name is out there and proliferating, but also--

LAURA: Stone's Throw!

TRAVIS: Your shipping is just a Stone's Throw away. We're working on it. But Kingsley has also been a tremendous help and is learning the ropes.

TALIESIN: It's a bit of a problem, if you think about it, that your shipping company is always a Stone's Throw away. That means that it hasn't gotten very far, isn't it?

TRAVIS: Look, we didn't go that deep with it.

LAURA: He didn't go that deep with it.

TRAVIS: Unless you have incredible strength, there are also ballista, and that is a very far-- It's okay. We weren't sold on anything. We only printed how many of the cards?

LAURA: Well, I didn't print them. I made them all by hand.

TALIESIN: Handmade. So.

TRAVIS: Shit.

LAURA: There's five of them so far. (laughter)

TALIESIN: I mean, to be fair, I think it's all you need at this point because if you're shipping something, then you're not going to be meeting a lot of people.

TRAVIS: I think it's catchy. I think it's catchy.

LAURA: Yeah. We'll make it work.

TALIESIN: Like a thrown stone.

TRAVIS: Yeah. So we monitor those waters and do what we can.

LAURA: Yeah, we look at the water a lot.

TALIESIN: Branding is not your strong suit.

TRAVIS: No.

MATT: Well here, in the middle of this hot midafternoon out amongst the Lucidian Ocean, you come in on the somewhat rocky, but not too intense waters beneath the Balleater. Here, the captain overlooks the bow, surveying the path you are traveling. Keeping senses on the not-too-worrying clouds on the horizon. You are greeted briefly on the deck by your navigator, the familiar darkened shell and hunched form of Orly Skiffback as he saunters up on the deck towards you.

MATT: "Captain. Whereabout you thinking we'd be looking to avoid this untoward weather?"

TRAVIS: Yes, good question, faithful Orly. I have to get my maps out, one minute. You know, I think--

TALIESIN: I'm pretty sure they're a stone's throw away. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Can I cast Augury? (laughter)

SAM: Is that a spell you have?

TRAVIS: It's new, baby! (laughter)

TRAVIS: It's called Fjord's 2nd-level spell.

MATT: All right. Yes, you may.

TRAVIS: I take out a little pouch that's full of sea shells that Jester and I have gathered off the shore and shake them.

LAURA: They're so beautiful.

TRAVIS: I kneel down on the deck, dump all the sea shells out.

MATT: "M-m-mean no disrespect there, Captain. This is highly unusual for the--"

TRAVIS: Oh, yes.

MATT: "-- betterment of ship and ship-m-m-mates, but you are the captain."

TRAVIS: Well, the Wildmother, she speaks to me so abundantly clear. I just wanted to make sure that I'm making it a reciprocal conversation.

MATT: Okay. So the course of action that you are attempting to focus on for this is?

TRAVIS: Is what is the most prime direction for the least amount of kraken fuckery and storm shit.

MATT: All right. Do you pick a direction?

TRAVIS: Yes, I would like to-- Is west a good direction in this moment?

MATT: All right. As you cast the shells across the floor, the results west seem more of a weal and woe reading.

TRAVIS: Uh-huh. (laughter)

LAURA: Oh, are we playing jacks? I come over and throw some jacks down in amongst the shells.

TRAVIS: I don't know how this spell works. I feel like I need to divine something. Can you help?

LAURA: Sure. I pick up all the shells and jacks and throw them back down on the deck. We should go north, is what it says.

TRAVIS: Wildmother, you work in mysterious ways. North it is.

LAURA: Can we go north, Orly?

MATT: "I've been north a few times in my day, so I think that is very doable, M-m-miss Jester."

MATT: He goes ahead and saunters off.

TRAVIS: Orly, don't tell anyone about the shells.

MATT: Thumb goes up.

TALIESIN: You basically threw stones. I can see where this is coming from.

TRAVIS: It's shells, all right, it's pulverized.

LAURA: Maybe if you're going to do that spell, you can do it in your captain's quarters so no one sees you do it so that they think you're more confident.

TRAVIS: Right.

LAURA: We don't want a mutiny.

TRAVIS: Yeah, of course.

LAURA: Kingsley keeps eyeing you.

TRAVIS: That's what the Star Razor is here for. (whooshes, stabs, vibrates)

MATT: Orly stops and turns. "(sighs heavily)" Continues walking.

TRAVIS: You look around, there's a dozen impacts where the Star Razor's been shoved. Just to make the same sort of point. You've seen it before.

LAURA: I drop the shells into your pouch. You've got this, Fjord, okay?

TRAVIS: Thank you.

LAURA: Have confidence in yourself.

TRAVIS: I do!

LAURA: You're a good captain.

TRAVIS: So many directions that you could take a ship, literally--

LAURA: It's literally anywhere you want to go.

TALIESIN: Just keep it from going down, and you should be fine.

LAURA: You could just tell Orly, next time he goes, "Where do you want to go?" Just say, "Keep going in the same direction."

TALIESIN: Such command.

LAURA: Just keep going.

TRAVIS: What if we're facing towards the storm?

LAURA: Say, "Go around it!"

TRAVIS: Into the storm?

LAURA: No, say go around it.

TRAVIS: Oh, around it.

LAURA: Then he'll go around it. He's the navigator.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LAURA: You know, you could just say, "You choose. You're the navigator, that's what I hired you for."

TRAVIS: Oh, right, like I know best and he has to prove his knowledge--

LAURA: Exactly, exactly!

TRAVIS: -- as navigator to me.

LAURA: It probably won't work now, because now he knows--

TRAVIS: Then I-- with the sword.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: While this is happening, Kingsley, you do notice, as Orly makes his way towards his--

SAM: ♪ Makin' my way ♪

MATT: -- usual place up on the upper deck of the ship, one of the newer crew members that you picked up along the way, Nyla Ko, the powder monkey on the ship, walks up towards Orly. They talk for a moment, and then starts walking over towards you. You see the excitable female orc with her sea air tossed mane of dark brown hair, the light gray to slight olive skin tint to it color, a vibrant smile, and a very intense left eye that's always a little wider than the right comes hopping towards you with a leather bodice over her open sea sleeves and rushes over. "Hey, so, Kingsley."

TALIESIN: Yes, Nyla?

MATT: "I was just told that we're going north."

TALIESIN: That, apparently, is what the jacks on the ground are saying.

MATT: "Is it because we're going to go get in trouble with different other ships and pirates and monsters and stuff because--"

TALIESIN: Oh, I hope so.

MATT: "-- I'm itching to shoot something real bad."

TALIESIN: I'm really in the mood for something.

MATT: "It's been weeks. Been real bored."

TALIESIN: I need a little bit of cash. I want to add a few things to the coat. It's doing well. I'm feeling a little underdressed. You've got to dress for the job you want, after all.

MATT: "Is this too much?" Tears their sleeves off and throws them on the ground. "Is this better?"

TALIESIN: You're so intimidating!

MATT: "Good, good."

TALIESIN: Chills!

MATT: "I have a lot of time below deck. I'm cutting the fuses shorter and shorter every time."

TALIESIN: I know, and I do appreciate that you let me down there just to observe you doing masterful work. I'm trying to get to the point where I can do anything up here, you know. I'm learning so much.

MATT: "Good, well, you see anything, let me know."

TALIESIN: You'll be the first to know after me.

MATT: "Great."

TALIESIN: Then the captain.

MATT: "Captain! Jester."

LAURA: Looking good, Nyla. Myla. Which one is it? I always forget.

MATT: "Nyla."

LAURA: Nyla, I knew it!

MATT: Runs below deck.

TALIESIN: The management on this ship.

LAURA: Do you need those sleeves, or can I keep them?

MATT: "You can keep them." Had to stop and think about it for a minute.

TALIESIN: The power of branding. Jester understands.

MATT: The sails shift, pick up the wind, and the boat begins to slowly rotate in a northward direction here across the seas of the Lucidian. Now, we pull away from the ship and the ocean, instead back to the massive capital city of the Dwendalian Empire, known as Rexxentrum. Here, we get closer to the continuously sprawling skyscape of numerous towers and buildings, archways, and multi-layered neighborhoods upon others. The topography of this town is this intense, central cityscape where people can easily get lost, whether they choose to or not. But here, towards the center, not too far from Ungebroch Castle, there is the Soltryce Academy grounds where the finest of academic learning within the empire partakes in the student body that comes to learn from it here. In the late afternoon, we come to the second floor of one of the various academy halls. Heading through a series of glass windows, we come into a classroom where a smattering of just over a dozen students sit behind desks as they all look up to the front of the room, where one small, gnomish character, looks like he's in his later middle age, this grumpy-looking male gnome, this way too dark comb over that is expressed way over his obviously balding head that curls past his ear to have almost an oddly emo look.

TRAVIS: (like Chetney) There should be whiskers.

MATT: Sits on a stool with a heavy robe over a pair of suspenders and pants that ride up a little bit too high, well creased, well pressed. Here, he's just rapping his fingers on a desk as he glances in the direction the students are, where at the front we see, in the process of finishing a lecture, the guest teacher, Caleb Widogast.

TRAVIS: Ooh, shit!

LIAM: On the tail end of a guest lecture, because I don't have tenure here or anything. Astrid has been trying to coax me, Beauregard as well, to take a position, but I'm not quite ready for that. I've only been home for a few months, but here I am, speaking to these students, and I'm on the tail end. Caleb looks around the room and resorts to his notes, pausing. With that, I think we can all see the importance of a strong grasp of the alchemical base as you climb the higher rungs of the transmutative ladder. But if I could leave you with one challenge as we break for today, it would be to set aside the what and the how for some time and to consider the why. Now, as each of you leaves the academy and you go on to poke and prod at the edges of reality, ask yourselves what the knowledge and power you've gained here is for. Transmutation is a powerful tool for change. How will you use it to alter the world around you, and to what end? And ask yourself, how will it change you? When I studied at this school myself, that question was never on any exam. Maybe it should have been. Also, make time in your studies for history or you will be doomed to repeat it. History is littered with sharp-minded individuals like yourselves who bit off more than they can chew, and it somehow always comes back to bite them in the butt. But that is all for today. *Bis später.**

MATT: "Please, students, give a warm round of applause and thank you for our guest speaker, a previous alumni student of the academy, Mr. Caleb Widogast. Thank you so much for coming."

SAM: Sign my spell book!

MATT: "Class dismissed." The students begin--

LIAM: All right, Gunther, just quickly.

MATT: -- gathering their things, their books, and picking up their satchels, and the bustle of them all discussing things completely unrelated to the class.

SAM: Do you have office hours later?

TRAVIS: Professor Jones?

LAURA: The eyes.

MARISHA: I love you.

LIAM: *Ich liebe dich.**

MATT: As the students do leave, there is one young, 16-year-old looking half-elf girl, bookish, spectacles, and her hair, this strawberry poof of blonde red hair. She nervously walks up to you, books clutched in her hand. "Mr. Caleb Widogast."

LIAM: Yeah, your name was Root, wasn't it?

MATT: "Yes, Root Frenilda. I just wanted to say thank you for your lecture. It was very nice to have you back in here. It's always very nice to have you here in class. We learn a lot."

LIAM: It's becoming a bit of a habit, isn't it?

MATT: "Please. Anyway, hope you come back." She nervously shuffles out of the room, a blush on her face, and leaves the chambers.

LIAM: Well, I'll walk over to the gnomish gentleman.

MATT: His smiling demeanor as the students leave immediately shuts to a tense, dark, tired expression. "A fine seminar, Mr. Widogast. Hopefully, the students have grappled onto any of it."

LIAM: Well, I would like to think that the student body here would learn thinking skills and the ability to think for themselves.

MATT: "Of course."

LIAM: Not just memorize by rote.

MATT: "Indeed, that is the purpose of academies of higher learning, and while many of them show variations in aptitude, I must say, it is at least notable the attention that is paid when you do come into the class, though I find the presentation a bit dramatic and theatrical, at times, for my tastes. To each their own, I suppose, and so is the arrogance of youth."

LIAM: *Ja.** Well, I don't want to impose any longer. I will retreat to my private practice.

MATT: "Please do, and we'll reach out as soon as we find a portion of our coming curriculum would use some of your unique insight."

LIAM: Good day.

MATT: "Good day." He brushes his hand on the door, it's going to open up.

LIAM: What an *arschloch.**

MATT: It closes behind you, and you stand for a moment, alone in the long, familiar hallways of the academy.

LIAM: Still feels beyond surreal to be here, and Beauregard has been pushing me to take up permanently. Maybe I will, but not quite ready yet. Anyway, she'll want her report for the day. We share a Sending Stone now to share information back and forth between the cities, so I'm going to head back to my own small cottage, which is very much in the style of the home that Bren was raised in. There's two small planter boxes out front full of green beans, and a room at the back where he teaches a handful of students who were not accepted where he teaches a handful of students who were not accepted at the academy who still show great promise, and occasionally Veth brings Luc by for a starter class or two. Not that she is incapable of teaching the boy herself. She is very capable, but it is fun to teach.

MATT: Fair enough. Upon walking through the halls, exiting the academy, eventually finding your way to your own comfortable, familiar, personal space. What is it you'd like to do with the rest of your evening?

SAM: Masturbate.

LIAM: (sighs) Yeah, I probably will masturbate. That'll probably be what I do. Can we just role play masturbating?

MATT: Please don't. Please don't.

TRAVIS: With the mood lighting?

TRAVIS: Bottle of wine. Warm it up. Warm it up.

SAM: Just to confirm, Caleb still looks and smells like shit, right?

LIAM: Yeah. He's--

SAM: Just covered in--

LIAM: -- a branded cologne. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Next to his green beans, it says, "I love dung."

TALIESIN: It's basically roll a d6, but really it's roll a d4. Let's be, yeah.

TRAVIS: "Masturbate."

TALIESIN: God.

LIAM: I think that he will put up the tower inside his home, the home is really more of a front, and he'll spend time in the study, and wonder if he'll get a visit from his Kryn friend this week.

MATT: All right. From there, we remove ourselves from the capital of Rexxentrum and return back to the sea- faring vessel, the Balleater, which is heading northward as the sun begins to set, the sky growing orange and purple in anticipation for the coming night, but the wind is picking up a bit, and Orly eventually shuffles back over to where you're keeping an eye on things, whether it be above or below deck. Are you above or below deck?

TRAVIS: Above deck.

MATT: "Captain. Other direction."

TRAVIS: Sorry, what was that?

MATT: "Other direction."

TRAVIS: Other? Other direction?

MATT: Grabs your shoulders and spins you around.

TRAVIS: Oh.

MATT: And you can see the direction which the wind is coming from.

MARISHA: The NPCs are hazing you!

MATT: A dark storm is looming on the horizon. A breadth of dark clouds are beginning to spread out, and as you take it in for second, you've noticed in the distance, but hoped that the northward travel would not be much of an issue, but you realize now the northward direction is heading directly towards it.

TRAVIS: Remember what Jester said. Orly, which direction do you think we should go, as the navigator for the boat?

SAM: Boat?

MARISHA: Ship.

TRAVIS: Ship, ship.

ASHLEY: The dinghy!

TRAVIS: The vessel.

LIAM: The water car. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Oh boy.

MATT: A low grumble settles within the throat of Orly, along with a heavy sigh, before his bright eye gleams in your direction, like the most stern of turtle Popeyes you've ever experienced. "Well, if I were to be honest, westward would've been more safe."

TRAVIS: See, I knew I should've trusted my instinct, Orly. Your confidence means the world to me. If you agree, I think a turn westerly would be--

MATT: "I'll do my best. I will say, the storm is coming rather quick. We may have to batten down the hatches, try and keep things nice and safe."

TRAVIS: I'll find Jester and Kingston. Kingsley!

LAURA: Jesus. (laughter)

MATT: There's another deep sigh from Orly.

TRAVIS: Do you want any of this rum, Orly? It's really good. Here, have a little.

MATT: "No, no, thank you, Cap'n."

TRAVIS: Sure. Okay.

MATT: He grabs it from you. "But I'm happy to go and put it back where it belongs."

TRAVIS: Okay, I'll make sure the crew is alerted.

MATT: All right, so, the crew begins to scatter about here on the deck of the ship. The sails begin to be prepared for the coming of some heavier winds. The darker storm, you can see the rain on the horizon blurring the light and space beyond it, but with that, the waning day of light brings you a very dark coming evening in the midst of this storm.

TRAVIS: With Orly leaving, any time something moves this quickly, he's been at sea enough that he tries to discern whether it's just a natural, moving storm, or if there's anything that pings a more foreboding sense for Fjord.

MATT: Make a nature check.

TRAVIS: Nope, I don't have advantage. What the hell is that about?

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah. Eight.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: (laughs)

MATT: (laughs) Is your survival any higher? (laughter) I only say because as a captain, either of those skills would be helpful in this circumstance.

TRAVIS: Survival is much lower.

MATT: Okay. No, we're going to go with an eight. We're going to go with an eight.

LAURA: Could I help you at all, Captain?

TALIESIN: Could I help you with that rum, Captain?

MATT: So now, the storm, you've seen storms move quickly, especially with some of the higher jet stream winds that push through. If certain storm fronts hit, some of these various pathways of jet streams that run through the Menagerie Coast, they can move rapidly and this looks to be one of those. So at the very least, if it's battened down well, everyone takes care, and nothing goes too bad, at this speed, it'll blow over pretty quickly, which is the benefit of its travel. But the rest of you hear the word, begin getting things prepared for the coming darkened storm. Eventually, the rain hits the surface of your ship. It's cold. But you get a colder sensation, Fjord. Less a new layer of chill, more like a present warm that begins to fade revealing the ice that's always been beneath. The winds grow louder as the rain begins to pick up heavier and heavier. The crew begins to panic a bit. The sails are completely bound and situated for the coming storm. Anchor is placed best it can. These are not the deepest waters, but whatever can be done to try and prevent any major storm flows from taking the ship under. You've been through some terrible storms in your time. This doesn't look like it's any worse than some of the worst you've been through, but that sense still eats away inside. Usually in such spaces, you feel the Wildmother's eyes upon you and a sense of guidance and direction, but here it's absence. What are you two doing?

TALIESIN: I've just woken up from all this. I don't know where you were.

LAURA: You're sleeping through this?

TALIESIN: Well, it's just-- Well, everyone got called up. I'm on rigging right now because we've got to pull the sails down, put everything together.

LAURA: I'm standing next to the captain because I'm the first mate, in case he didn't know that and everyone else didn't know that. Kingsley, I'm the first mate.

TALIESIN: I'm well aware. I'm working.

LAURA: I will ask our captain: Hey, Fjord.

TRAVIS: Yes, first mate.

LAURA: Do you want me to try to use Control Water and try to part these waves to make it easier us for us to get through the storm?

TRAVIS: We certainly could. Also--

LAURA: Or is it not a big deal? I don't know.

TRAVIS: Mm, I mean, it's best just to push through unless it gets really dangerous. I mean, Control Water is excellent if we start to take on, yes.

LAURA: It starts coming, okay.

TRAVIS: But also I think the morale of the men would be good so anything you can do to keep it, you know, positive, encouraging.

TALIESIN: I'm going to swing over, run up the stairs. You know, you could actually just say something to the crew right now. They could use a bit of a morale boost. Everyone is freaking out pretty hard right now.

TRAVIS: That's fair. Do you want to maybe put something up while we're doing it.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah. I'll use Thaumaturgy. (explosions popping) Fireworks.

TRAVIS: Yep. Ah yes, rough seas. We've seen this before. We shall see its like again.

LAURA: Behind him there's a light-up neon "Applause."

TRAVIS: Man your positions. You know your duties. We'll see this through.

SAM: Do you have office hours later?

TRAVIS: No. (laughter)

TALIESIN: All right, everybody. Get to your work. You're too pretty to die today. Go, go, go!

MATT: Everyone scatters a bit as the rain comes in harder and harder in sheets. After the next 20 or so minutes, the true force of the storm really begins to batter the side of the ship like sheets of ice-cold needles smattering across your skin as everyone begins to double tie down the ropes. Briny waves begin to break and crash off the sides of the ship, running down as it begins to rock side to side.

TRAVIS: Oh boy.

MATT: The chop, the surf begins to roll heavier and higher, breaking, crashing against the wood. You hear it creak and shift. An endless quaking of rolling danger underneath the flashes of jagged lightning helping to momentarily light up the void-like abyss around you. (lightning and thunder)

LAURA: Should I use Control Water now?

MATT: The crew is shouting over the chaos, protecting the sails to the best of their ability. Are you using a spell at this point? What are you doing?

LAURA: Is it crashing over the sides of the boat yet? The ship?

MATT: I mean, it's beginning to. I mean, the waves are getting heavier and heavier, louder, and the rolling of the ship is beginning to slam down in between the valleys, and other bits of crashing surf begin to crest over and splash against the top of the deck. The crew holds on, elements of the not battened down barrels and loose crates shift off and collide and gather on the opposite side along the railing.

LAURA: I'll run around and start trying to tie the barrels to the side so that they don't keep doing that.

MATT: Okay. All right. (lightning crashing) Another flash hits. At this moment, one heavy wave is now looming and swelling up. Captain.

TRAVIS: I think if we see that, I would tell Jester to-- I thought I had Control Water.

LAURA: Okay, I go for it.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: I think you do have it, too, but--

MATT: You have it as an ability you were granted by your patron a long time ago.

TRAVIS: It's not in my spell list.

LAURA: I'm going to go for it. Control Water on the giant wave as it comes towards us. I'm going to try to split it in half so that it goes around the ship.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: I will join her in that.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: If you have it.

TRAVIS: I don't know why it's not showing up.

MATT: So which element of the spell are you using? Part Water?

LAURA: Part Water.

MATT: Okay. So between the two of you utilizing your abilities, you focus and you watch as the large, rolling heavy swell of wave water that careens toward your ship suddenly divides in half and crashes down just past the bow and the stern. (waves pounding) The ship rights itself for a second, it seems to spin of its own volition from the streaming of the intense waves around you. (lightning crashing) Another flash of light hits. I would like those of you who are on deck to roll perception with disadvantage--

SAM: Ooh, here we go.

MATT: -- based on the heavy rainfall around you.

SAM: Here we go.

LAURA: Oh, whoa, whoa.

SAM: First Jester roll.

TALIESIN: I have advantage on perception so is it just a straight roll?

MATT: Just a straight roll.

LAURA: Oh, a natural 20, but it's disadvantage.

SAM: Terrible.

LAURA: No!

LAURA: Perception?

TALIESIN: (groans) That's terrible. 17.

LAURA: What's five plus eight?

SAM: What's five plus eight?

MATT: 17's not too bad.

ASHLEY: Wait, what?

LAURA: 13.

TRAVIS: 14.

LIAM: They all die.

MATT: 14.

SAM: Oh cool, there's water droplets going on.

MARISHA: Spray, yeah.

SAM: So cool.

MATT: The two of you currently are focused on the shouts of the current crew rushing around, holding on, screaming from below deck, trying to gauge what's happening, what's coming, how best to prepare for the next dangers that erupt. Kingsley, as you glance over, another flash of light off in the distance backlit against another rising wave and you see something in the wave for a split second as it crashes over and diminishes. You see what you think looked to be shoulders and a head, but they're humanoid and far larger than a person should be before the waves swell up again and it's gone.

TALIESIN: Captain, there's a big thing in the water!

TRAVIS: You've got to be more specific than thing.

TALIESIN: It's like a giant, bigger than a giant. There's a giant person in the-- There's something coming at us and it looks like a person.

TRAVIS: Okay.

TALIESIN: A very big person.

TRAVIS: Just off of the bizarreness of that statement, can I use Divine Sense and see if there's anything that pings off of that?

MATT: Right, which engages undead, fiend, and fey?

TRAVIS: Celestial, fiend, or undead within--

MATT: Got you, yeah. Celestial, fiend, or undead. So as you concentrate and let your consciousness expand beyond you, nothing pings you within your immediate vicinity of any of those types. That is unexpected.

TRAVIS: I didn't ask, but on the Balleater, how many souls do we have aboard the ship?

MATT: You tell me. You're the captain.

TRAVIS: I have--

MATT: How many can you afford?

TRAVIS: 10?

MATT: 10. All righty. 10 souls upon, including still--

LAURA: Are we technically Nein Heroez now?

ASHLEY: The Nein Heroez.

LAURA: We're the Nein Heroez. We renamed our boat. It's not the Balleater anymore.

TRAVIS: Oh, the Nein Heroez.

LAURA: Yeah. (laughs)

TRAVIS: What a great name.

TALIESIN: It is actually, I like that.

ASHLEY: Dani was like, "The Balleater got eaten by a--"

LAURA: If you want to be the Balleater again, that's okay.

TRAVIS: Nope, Nein Heroez is way, way doper. Just because I didn't detect anything, can I also cast Water Breathing just as the red button just in case on--

MATT: Certainly.

TRAVIS: -- all of the members of the ship.

MATT: All right. So you gather the crew quickly getting everyone within a visual radius and instill everyone with the ability to breathe water here in the midst of this chaos. While this is happening, you see another large swell coming up and you catch it just as it crashes onto the ship. I need all three of you to make dexterity saving throws for me as you just managed to turn it in time.

LAURA: We have Control Water up for 10 minutes.

MATT: Indeed.

LAURA: Okay.

TALIESIN: Dexterity saving throws.

LAURA: This is good. (chuckles)

SAM: You're doing great. You're doing great.

LAURA: Doing good, doing good. It's because I have these dice out.

TRAVIS: 10.

MATT: Spell's area here.

TALIESIN: Wrong dice.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: 100 feet to a side, so yeah. So you still have it up for 10 minutes.

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: I'll say for this, dexterity saving throw is to see if you can see it coming and control it in time.

TALIESIN: Bless you.

MATT: Because that way you can avoid it entirely. What did you roll?

LAURA: Nine.

SAM: (laughs)

MATT: Unfortunately, no.

LAURA: Nein.

MATT: Uh.

ASHLEY: Nein.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: And here (burbles)

ASHLEY: Nine for Nein.

MARISHA: Level 17.

TALIESIN: Natural one.

MATT: Wow, okay. Fjord?

TALIESIN: Yeah, this is done.

TRAVIS: 10.

MATT: 10.

SAM: Oh boy.

ASHLEY: Oof.

LAURA: That was fun. This was a fun game, guys, bye.

MARISHA: 17!

TALIESIN: It's been great. It's been great, everybody.

MATT: The wave crashes into the side. You try and part it just in time, but it parts into two different waves that aren't quite wide enough to avoid the entire width of this ship as it hits two different sides and the ship lists and spins a little bit to one side to the other before it begins to rotate to one side. Everyone holds on, but you all slide down and slam into the railing, catching yourself but you all do take seven points of bludgeoning damage with a crack in the side of your torso as you hit the railing. The railing itself, you hear the wood splinter a bit upon impact.

LAURA: Mending!

MATT: Except for Fjord. For a brief minute as you hit it, there's a white, hot flash of pain and then you feel almost like yourself is drowning. You try and breathe and it's water filling your lungs, a terrible familiar sense, the slipping of the warmth of your body, but you suddenly see darkness in front of you and you're reaching for kelp, you're reaching for surface, and you're being pulled away into darkness. The shadow takes you and a voice long unheard quakes in your ear. "I found you." A yellow eye opens before you before a bolt of lightning strikes nearby. The rain's hitting you and you're holding onto the side of the ship, back conscious amongst your friends as the ship creaks back, landing back in the moving surf. What are you doing?

LAURA: Sorry, I didn't see that wave until it was too late!

TRAVIS: I think we have company. I saw the eye. I saw the eye of Uk'otoa.

LAURA: Uk'otoa. Uk'otoa.

MARISHA: Uk'otoa.

ASHLEY: Uk'otoa.

TALIESIN: Nyla, get the guns ready. Orly, can we turn? We've go to move right now!

LAURA: Do you know about Uk'otoa?

MATT: "Okay, Captain."

TALIESIN: I would know some basics.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I've told him enough.

MATT: Okay. He goes ahead and tries to prepare the sails now to try and spin in the middle of this storm. He's not a bad navigator. We'll see if he can take the helm and carry in that proper direction. As he's doing that--

TALIESIN: Orly, to port.

MATT: Okay, yeah. That's a great roll. All right, he begins to turn the ship and try and coast in the direction that the storm is traveling from to try and pierce through as fast as possible. (lightning crashing) At this point, the storm is getting heavier. The lightning is striking around in the distance, and it's odd because storms and heavy rainfall like this is normally the territory of the Wildmother, but that loneliness, that sense of vacancy where that protection normally sits is not present.

ASHLEY: Oh my god, give me some of that popcorn.

LAURA: May I?

SAM: Yeah. Go ahead.

MATT: (forceful cracking) A heavy, heavy, angry crack sound of breaking, splintering wood and the entire ship lurches upward for a second from below before slamming back.

LAURA: Oh my god. Sam. Sam! (laughter)

SAM: I'm just having a drink of water. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Why are you like this?

LAURA: It's everywhere!

TRAVIS: Why are you like this? (laughter)

MATT: Returning to the dramatic moment you interrupted. (laughter) The lurching ship slamming back down under the heavy wave as everyone holds on, and you hear Orly shout from the back, "I'm trying! (groans)" As he is now taking the helm of the ship, what are you doing at this moment?

TRAVIS: Uh... I guess I would run to the-- Did you see that humanoid shape on the starboard or port side?

TALIESIN: We were heading towards it and I had Orly turn to the port so I was about to get the cannons on the starboard side loaded and ready.

TRAVIS: Okay. I'd run to the starboard side. I'll summon the Star Razor.

MATT: Appears in your hand.

TRAVIS: I will-- Do I want to do this? I'm going to cast-- Boy, it's been a minute. I'll cast Fly on myself.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Yeah. Get off that ship and leave everybody to die.

LAURA: Ooh, yeah.

MARISHA: Hell yeah.

LAURA: Fjord, where are you going?

SAM: Goodbye!

LAURA: Where are you going?

TRAVIS: Workshop the name in my absence!

MATT: Okay. (laughter)

MATT: You go over to the starboard side. You pull out the sword and you cast Fly on yourself. Just as you finish concentrating and uttering the words of the incantation looking at the blade, you look back just as a massive hand--

ASHLEY: Oh!

SAM: (yells)

MATT: -- slams onto the deck of the ship.

SAM: What is it?

ASHLEY: No.

MATT: The entire ship lurches again, the heavy impact sound of numerous wooden boards splintering and cracking. Five fingers on this humanoid hand immediately glances. You step back out of the way, drifting about 10 feet off the ground, instinctually flying backward. You see another hand--

SAM: (gasps)

LAURA: Ah!

MATT: -- grapple up as a humanoid head about 10, 15 feet almost in width begins to climb up looking just over the ridge. You can see long, wet, scraggly white hair, a somewhat teal green-blue skin, pale, pupil-less eyes and a thick, heavy knotted beard filled with kelp and all sorts of broken materials that drift through the sea as it comes and glances over maybe just a few feet from your head.

LIAM: Oh, Jesus.

MATT: What do you do?

TRAVIS: Kingsley, fire the cannons!

TALIESIN: You hear that? Now!

MATT: At this point, there's a brief moment of quiet as it pulls one hand back like this. Then you hear (cannons firing) from below.

TRAVIS: Probably shouldn't miss.

TRAVIS and MATT: (laughs)

MATT: Well, not for what's right in front of at least two cannons.

TRAVIS: Oh man.

MATT: So I will say--

TRAVIS: His head is 10 feet wide?

MATT: About 10 feet wide, yeah.

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

MATT: Between five and 10 feet, we'll say.

SAM: Those two hands, Matt, was there a wedding ring on any of those fingers?

MATT: No, you didn't see a wedding-- You're not even there. You didn't see a damn thing.

TALIESIN: I was afraid of a yes--

MATT: So if you can, you roll cannons twice with advantage, so two cannons are within the radius, so roll 2d6 for two different shots. That's plus six to hit.

TRAVIS: 2d6. Oh, plus six to hit.

MATT: Yes.

TRAVIS: That's a 24 to hit and 2d6. Seven points of cannon damage.

MATT: Sorry, that's just a hit.

TRAVIS: Oh, great. It was just a--

MATT: So one hit and there's two different attacks so roll to hit twice.

LAURA: Stop it, stop it!

MATT: The first one hit.

SAM: I'm thirsty.

TRAVIS: And an 18.

MATT: 18. Both hit. So the damage is 8d10 bludgeoning damage.

TRAVIS: Oh, Jesus Christ.

ASHLEY: Oh!

ASHLEY: Holy cow.

TRAVIS: Okay, 8d10. 20...

ASHLEY: It's very salty.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: 19. 29. Oh my god, these are some--

LAURA: (laughs)

TALIESIN: They're all ones, aren't they?

TALIESIN: Nothing but ones.

TRAVIS: 43.

LIAM: I'm very excited.

TRAVIS: 43. 50.

MARISHA: Sorry.

TRAVIS: 54. Last two.

MARISHA: I don't think I've ever done that successfully.

TRAVIS: No, it was just 8d10. 52.

MATT: 52. For the second one? Same damage.

TRAVIS: Same thing?

MATT: Yeah, two cannons, so--

ASHLEY: 52? Oh, these are those.

MATT: All right, so it's another 8d10.

TRAVIS: Oh, oh, I got to do it again, okay.

SAM: 106? What did you just say?

ASHLEY: She just did 52 points of damage.

MATT: These are two cannons firing off at point blank range from under the ship at the--

SAM: Oh, damn.

LAURA: You said when it came up, it looked like it had milky, white eyes and scraggly hair?

MATT: The eyes were just white. They weren't milky. They were a glowing white--

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: -- energy to them.

TRAVIS: 43 on the second one.

SAM: Damn.

MATT: 43, got it. You hear the cannons, (multiple booms) many of them splashing into the waves beneath, but the creature you see react from the impact--

LAURA: Stop it!

MATT: -- still clutching the side of the ship before it pulls its hand back, and you watch between its fingers electrical energy (crackling) gathering up, and it throws this massive lightning spear that heads right towards you, and arcing behind you--

SAM: Huh?

LAURA: Oh my.

MATT: If you can roll a d6 for me.

LAURA: Me?

MATT: Jester, yes. Just roll a d6.

SAM: Oh no.

MATT: On a one to three, it hits you. On a four to six, it goes after Kingsley. It arcs straight towards to go towards Jester, as well. So I need you both to make dexterity saving throws for me.

TRAVIS: Wow, wow, okay. This shit's happening. All right.

LIAM: The head is, like, one eighth of the human body.

TRAVIS: Cool, cool.

ASHLEY: That's--

LIAM: So this being is 40.

TRAVIS: Dirty 20.

ASHLEY: It's a big boy.

MATT: Okay, that's a success.

LAURA: 16.

MATT: 16 is a failure.

LAURA: (sighs)

SAM: Don't you have some reaction or something?

LAURA: I don't know.

SAM: Reaction shield or something?

LAURA: I don't think so. I don't have Shield.

SAM: I don't know, what are you?

LAURA: I don't know.

MARISHA: Drown her. Drown her storm giant.

MATT: 61 points of lightning damage to you, Jester.

SAM: Oh!

MATT: And 30 points lightning damage to you, Fjord.

TALIESIN: Oh god.

ASHLEY: Sheesh!

MATT: As this lightning strike arcs past both of you, slams into the other side of the ship and dissipates throughout the rest of the wet, wooden surface, some of the other crew get shocked a bit and backs up.

LAURA: Hellish Rebuke--

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: -- back.

MATT: Also roll a concentration check for your Control Water.

LAURA: Control Water?

LIAM: Damn.

SAM: Mm-hmm, Mm-hmm.

LAURA: Jesus.

SAM: Wait, concentration has to be more than 30?

LAURA: 20. I rolled 20.

TALIESIN: No.

MATT: 20? So, yeah, no, you lose--

LAURA: Doesn't matter.

MATT: Control magic, unfortunately. Control Water.

LAURA: What was it, 63?

SAM and MATT: 61.

LAURA: 61?

MATT: So 30 is the DC.

LAURA: Okay. So it's going to take 3d10.

MATT: Go for it.

SAM: Whoa.

MATT: While this is happening, Kingsley--

LAURA: Seven plus five is--

MATT: -- Fjord--

LAURA: -- 12.

MATT: -- you notice around as you recover from this--

LAURA: 21 points of cold damage.

MATT: Actually, you're focused on this creature. You wouldn't notice this. Kingsley, you notice this. After this flash of lightning energy streaks across the deck of the ship, impacting both Fjord and Jester, you notice other shadows beginning to climb on board. Smaller creatures, other humanoid entities begin to board the side of the deck.

TALIESIN: Make ready! We've got company! Draw weapons!

LAURA: Fjord?

SAM: This guy's a good captain.

LAURA: This is bad. What do you want us to do, fight them all?

TRAVIS: Fight! Yeah.

MATT: All right, I would like the three of you to roll initiative, please.

LAURA: Oh god.

SAM: Oh boy.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LAURA: It's 13.

TRAVIS: Really?

LAURA and SAM: (laugh)

TRAVIS: Woo, woo!

MATT: All right.

LAURA: (laughs) 25 to 20?

TALIESIN: 25.

MATT: 25.

LAURA: (garbled) - on my initiative.

SAM: What?

MATT: All right, 20 to 15.

LAURA: (garbled) What'd I roll? 13.

SAM: 13.

MATT: Asshole. Oh, is that what she rolled?

SAM: 13.

MATT: Oh, I thought you were putting in your initiative in the order.

SAM: No, no, hers is 13. She can't speak.

ASHLEY: 13.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: I rolled a four.

MATT: Oh boy.

SAM: Dear lord.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: 17.

SAM: Wait. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Just throw it away?

MARISHA: Level 17.

SAM: Oh. (laughter)

LAURA: Level 17, yeah.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Do you want me to--

MATT: And so, Fjord, you're back over here-- Okay.

TALIESIN: Sure.

MATT: So, Kingsley, as this is happening, what do you do?

TALIESIN: I am trying to get a good sense of what's the vibe I'm getting from the creature.

MATT: You glance over and you start seeing they're humanoid-like, as they clamber over. But you see these long, thin tendrils that come out of their head, that dangle behind them. You watch as their faces, what little glimpses you see in the low light here, look humanoid, but without a nose, and the mouths, you watch as some of them growl and hiss. Their jaws open up into these larger, wider, toothy flaps.

TALIESIN: All right, so they're not giving me an undead vibe? They're giving me a terrible thing from the sea vibe?

MATT: More that direction, yes.

TALIESIN: I'll invoke Rite of the Flame.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: So I pull my truly overcooked sword with a black blade. It's not in a hilt. I grab it with my hand and pull, and so it is nicely covered in blood. And I take way too many points of damage for that. That's fine. I'm going to, with a big grin, head right towards the first one in position, ready to tear it to shreds.

MATT: Easy enough to do. One of them just clambered over the edge, looks towards you. (gurgles) You see it's screeching, its inner throat itself is these layers of fleshy rings that are squeezing together, almost like a very visible vocal cord.

TALIESIN: Fucking basic, and I'm going straight into it.

MATT: Go for it.

TALIESIN: First attack. 27 to hit.

MATT: That hits.

TALIESIN: Yes, it can. Then that's a--

MATT: Back to 17.

TALIESIN: I had to write it up. I'm going to use some sneak attack because fuck it. Plus 1d8, plus 1d8, plus-- I don't actually-- As long as nothing's-- because of some fun stuff I have--

MATT: That's right, yeah. Yeah, you can sneak attack.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: Even though nobody's around it.

SAM: Ooh.

MATT: It's because nobody's around it.

TALIESIN: So that's-- (sighs) It's four, five, six. I can also reroll one of these if I like, which doesn't matter.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: So that's eight, nine, 10, 25 points of damage.

MATT: Slick.

TALIESIN: Eight of them are fire-- Well, yeah, eight of them will be fire damage.

MATT: Great. So that first strike-- (whoosh) right through (snarls) You cut deeply into it.

TALIESIN: Then I'm going to give it a nice, little twist around.

MATT: You got it.

TALIESIN: That's attack number two and that's a 22 to hit.

MATT: That definitely hits. You can roll damage.

TALIESIN: Just these two. So that's another eight fire damage plus 11 points of just stab.

MATT: You got it.

TRAVIS: Welcome, Kingsley. What the fuck?

TALIESIN: Then I'm going to withdraw the blade and gently skip back about 10 feet and be ready for the next attack.

MATT: Got it. (gurgling snarls) It looks extremely angry. All right, that finishes your go. All right. At this point in time, the far bow of the ship, one creature floats up, gliding in the air, humanoid like the others. The same long tendrils skimming from the back of its head, but it has a tattered cloak that drifts in strips from its back. Same dark, deep gray skin, that odd pale yellow eyes with these slivered pupils to them. As it drifts forward, the massive what you can see now to be a giant, the massive what you can see now to be a giant, a humanoid, extremely tall, extremely strong giant that is climbing up the side of the ship, larger than any giant you've ever seen or probably heard of, shouts out in this deep, resonant, bass-y voice that quakes the wood you stand on. "Where is your traitor? Where is the key?" The creature that now drifted up off the side of the ship. floating in the air says, "You made blasphemy of their gifts and your arrogance will cost you all that you love unless you do as Thoonum commands," and rushes, gliding over in your direction. Coming towards you, about 10 feet off the ground, meeting you in your floating space in the air. As it comes towards you, its jaw open, flickering as the rain and wind hit it. It's going to go ahead and-- It begins to speak from within its throat. Its hands carve this strange, oval loop in the sky before it brings him forward and these tendrils of light blue energy drift across and seem to wrap around you and try and sink themselves into your body. I need you to make a wisdom saving throw for me.

LIAM: Squid mage, squid mage.

TRAVIS: Cool. You know, it's not a problem. Woo! Six plus 18, 24!

MATT: 24? Fantastic. All right. So as this spell attempts to grab your muscles and hold onto them and keep them locked in place, you resist the effect and the magic dissipates off of your body.

SAM: Yes.

MATT: It (growls) angrily flies up about another 20 or so feet above and holds itself there, just gliding. The rain, as it patters down, smashing across its face and causing these streaks of water to drift and drip down past its legs. With that, the giant takes its turn, angrily growling. It puts one hand-- Well, actually, let me see if it gets its--

TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Does not get its lightning strike back, but it is going to attempt a Thunderous Stop, or in this case, a Thunderous Slap, as it brings one arm up, down onto the center of the deck of the ship. At this point--

TRAVIS: This is a problem.

MATT: -- if I could have Jester and Kingsley both make a constitution saving throw.

LAURA: Oh my god.

TALIESIN: What kind of attack is this?

MATT: It's a physical attack. It's a thunder clap on the--

LAURA: It's a three. I rolled three.

SAM: So tiny.

LAURA: It's cute.

TALIESIN: (groans)

LIAM: ♪ Thunder clap ♪

TALIESIN: This is going great.

LAURA: I rolled seven.

MATT: What'd you roll?

LAURA: Seven?

MATT: Seven, okay.

TALIESIN: 14.

MATT: 14.

LAURA: What if I died right now?

MATT: Unfortunately, both of those are failures.

SAM: Don't get ahead of yourself.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: (laughs)

SAM: ♪ Thunder clap ♪

MATT: You both take 38 points of thunder damage--

LAURA: Woo!

MATT: -- as the impact slams the deck of the ship, the wood splinters up, leaving a crater where it was. The middle of the ship's deck now is broken downward about 10 or so feet where the arm pushed into it. You hear a scream below deck, and as it pulls its hand up, you see wood breaking from it as it does so. Both of you, upon the damage, you also hear a high-pitched sound and nothing else.

TRAVIS: (gasps)

MATT: You're both deafened.

MARISHA: Ooh.

TRAVIS: Deafened is a condition?

SAM: Yes.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: (exhales)

LAURA: Oh no.

MATT: That's going to finish its turn. That brings us now to Jester. Jester, in the air, you hear this very faint, high-pitched whine and nothing else. The storm, you look around you and you see the rain spattering and the dark shape here you see shouting commands. You see Orly holding onto the helm and trying to yell out there, and nothing, no sound is coming towards you. What do you do?

LAURA: Where's Fjord? Where's Kingsley?

MATT: You see Kingsley, blade out, is currently facing off with one of these wounded creatures. You see about seven of them clambering up at different parts of the ship. You see Fjord is 10 feet off the ground and a little ways back, was unaffected by this because of the distance. You had gone to the edge of the ship and pulled up.

LAURA: How far away are they both from me?

MATT: Both of them? I'd say Fjord's about 40 feet from you. Kingsley's about 30.

LAURA: Okay. Oh god. How close is that giant to me?

MATT: The giant is about 15 or so feet from you, 20 feet.

LAURA: Am I the most hurt of everybody?

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: How many hit points do you have left?

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LIAM: You took two big hits.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LAURA: Two big hits.

TALIESIN: I got stuff I can do, too.

LAURA: The giant is how many?

MATT: About 20 feet from you.

LAURA: About 20 feet.

MATT: 15, 20 feet.

TRAVIS: How many hit points do you have?

SAM: You don't know.

LAURA: You don't know. You flew away.

TRAVIS: I didn't fly away; I flew up to get a better view!

MATT: It put itself forward to slam and then pulled back on the side of the ship, and it's almost using the ship as partial cover.

LAURA: (laughs) I want to run. No, I can't.

MATT: What are you doing?

LAURA: It would take another big hit. Oh no! (shouts) All I want to do is run up to the giant and touch his hand.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I'm going to run up to the giant and touch his hand.

MATT: Do it. You rush up. It's easy to grab. It's clutching on, its fingers dug into the actual deck itself.

LAURA: Maybe you should let go! I'm going to Inflict Wounds.

MATT: Okay. Roll for a spell attack against it.

LAURA: I'm going to Inflict Wounds at... 7th-level.

MATT: Okay. (laughs)

SAM: Dude!

LIAM: (laughs)

SAM: Dude!

TALIESIN: Nice.

SAM: That's hardcore.

TALIESIN: I'm sort of in the--

LAURA: Oh god. He's really big.

SAM: Yeah, yeah.

LAURA: 18.

SAM: Easy.

MATT: 18 hits.

LAURA: Okay, great. (laughs) 9d10. (laughs)

SAM: 9d10? (laughs)

LAURA: One. (laughs)

LIAM: 10-sided die.

MARISHA: 9d10.

LAURA: Two, three, I don't need it.

MATT: Yeah, even with the half cover from the ship.

LAURA: Five, six--

MATT: It was just 18 for his AC, so well done.

LAURA: Seven, eight. Nope, nine, I got him.

LAURA: Woo!

SAM: Whoa, whoa, whoa!

LAURA: Whoa! Okay, 30.

MARISHA: One of those is a d8.

LAURA: 30, oh, it is?

MARISHA: The one by your pen.

SAM: No.

LAURA: No.

SAM: No, that's a 10.

LAURA: No, no, no.

TALIESIN: No, it looks weird because the edge is off.

SAM: She's just got weird dice.

LAURA: 44--

MARISHA: Oh. Yeah, it's okay.

LAURA: 45.

MARISHA: My bad.

LAURA: 48. Huh?

SAM: Keep going.

LAURA: 54.

SAM: 54?

LAURA: 54 points. (laughs)

ASHLEY: Wait, did you count your yellow one, too?

LAURA: Oh, I didn't, but he did.

ASHLEY: Okay. It was tucked in with the popcorn, so I was confused.

MATT: 54 points of--

TALIESIN: Oh wow.

LAURA: 54 points.

MATT: -- points of necrotic damage, as you reach out and grab--

MARISHA: We're all giving notes on Laura's dice. We're like, "I don't--"

MATT: That pulse of dark energy spreads from your fingers into the veins of this entity, this massive, meaty, blue-green hand. As you grasp it, you watch the black shoot up and all the veins in the hand, thick and thin, which on this scale are still massive, all immediately become visible as this dark, awful, black tar material pulses through the blood stream. As you do so, the hand, (groans) the other arm grasps the side and comes up and seems to shake it. (growls)

LAURA: I'm going to use the rest of my movement to back away from the giant.

MATT: Okay. It gets an attack of opportunity on you. As the hand that's up in the air comes down towards you.

TRAVIS: Oh.

SAM: You're fine.

LAURA: I'll be fine.

SAM: Yeah, she's fine. She's fine.

MATT: That is going to be a 30 to hit.

LAURA: Oh, I guess kind of it does, though.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: It's all right--

SAM: Meets it, beats it!

LIAM: We got two healers. (laughter)

LIAM: We got--

LAURA: (laughs) I'm going to die right now.

TRAVIS: Hmm?

ASHLEY: One healer.

TRAVIS: We got one healer. We got one cleric.

LAURA: Right out of the gate.

LIAM: I don't think that's right.

MATT: You take 42 points of bludgeoning damage.

LAURA: 42. Cool, cool, cool.

MATT: As the hand squash-slaps you onto the deck and you are pinned and grappled for a minute.

LAURA: Whoa. Fjord?

MATT: Does that finish your turn, Jester?

LAURA: I mean, if I'm pinned and grappled, then yes. Wait, let me look at what I--

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm. I know, this gets hard. There's so much new stuff.

LAURA: Oh, oh.

MATT: I'll say it doesn't actually give you the grapple condition. It's more narratively it does that. You can pull away, if you'd like to, and still move.

LAURA: Oh, oh.

SAM: Oh yeah, this was still your move. You were walking away from it when you--

LAURA: Oh yeah, then I'll continue to move.

MATT: Okay. So you go another 15 feet back and away from it, gets you to where you were standing, pretty much, when you started. Okay.

LAURA: Great, cool.

MATT: That brings us now to the rest of the scions' turns.

TRAVIS: (laughs) "The rest?" How many are there?

MATT: There's seven on the deck.

TRAVIS: Seven?!

MATT: One of which is--

TRAVIS: You said-- I think you meant three. You did some math wrong. There's only three.

MATT: No, no.

TRAVIS: Plus the giant.

MATT: There's seven. The one that you attacked--

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm?

MATT: Is going to charge towards you.

TALIESIN: I think it's got some problems, depending on. Are there some things that happen if I attack it that make it hard for it to hit me? I just--

MATT: You tell me.

TALIESIN: Ah.

MATT: But it's going to one bite and two claw attacks against you. That is a 23 to hit.

TALIESIN: Oh, that hits.

MATT: A 16 to hit.

TALIESIN: That does not.

MATT: And a 19 to hit.

TALIESIN: That also does not.

MATT: Great.

ASHLEY: Dang!

MATT: Okay.

SAM: That would be amazing.

MATT: So you take eight points of piercing damage as it bites into you, and as its claws come towards you, you batter them away with your shield.

TALIESIN: Nope! Nope!

MATT: All right. You are up in the air, so the two that are there can't quite reach you. One of them is going to Psychic Shriek beneath you. It screams and emits this horrible, high-pitch (shrieks) sound that emerges. All of you here, those of you within 30 feet, which would be Fjord and Jester--

LAURA: Aren't I deaf?

MATT: You cannot hear it. Indeed, neither of you can hear it.

MATT: So you are protected from it, but Fjord, I need you to make a wisdom saving throw for me.

TRAVIS: Yep. Makes my hands hurt. 24, natural 19.

MATT: 24. You instinctually close your ears, and in doing so, prevent it from striking into the center of your eardrums and further into your mind and consciousness. Another one's going to rush over towards you, Kingsley, from behind. It is now trying to make up for the other one that failed. This one, because it is a pincer attack, has advantage from the other side, that is going to be 16 to hit.

TALIESIN: That does not hit.

MATT: Misses.

TALIESIN: Also blocking.

MATT: Wow, awful. A one and a two. Misses. So the claw strike--

TALIESIN: Spins around, gets it again.

MATT: The third one is going to be-- That one will hit with a 24, I'm pretty sure.

TALIESIN: Yep, that'll hit.

MATT: All right. With that, it does get one claw strike against you which does 10 points of slashing damage to your back. Two are rushing up to you, Jester.

LAURA: Yuh-huh.

MATT: Okay, that's going to be a 12 to hit?

LAURA: Nope.

MATT: A 25 to hit.

LAURA: Uh-huh.

MATT: And a 20 to hit.

LAURA: Uh-huh.

MATT: So with that, you take 10 points of slashing damage and eight points of slashing damage.

LAURA: I'm unconscious.

MATT: One of them rushes up behind and double strikes Jester from behind, and you watch as the impact of it sends her chest forward and she slides, like (body sliding) into the wet surface of the ship for a second, now unconscious. The other two are now rushing up to try and engage. They're on the other side of the ship, and they're actually engaging with two other crew members. They're not able to get into this fray. Bringing us to Fjord's turn.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I use 60 feet of my fly speed to Superman towards Jester as I see her fall unconscious.

MATT: Rocket over to the body.

TRAVIS: I reach out and cast Cure Wounds as soon as I reach her.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: On Jester.

MATT: What level?

TRAVIS: Fifth.

MATT: Okay. So it's 5d8.

TRAVIS: I should just roll that now.

LAURA: Ooh, 35 points? Oh, did you roll in the game--

SAM: He's got to roll.

LAURA: Okay, you've got to roll them.

MARISHA: That was a good roll.

TRAVIS: It was a good roll.

LIAM: ♪ Reach out and touch faith ♪

TRAVIS: Ugh.

MARISHA: Damn.

LAURA: Should have taken the digital.

TRAVIS: Should've.

SAM: D&D Beyond.

TRAVIS: 35. Oh.

LAURA: Exactly the same?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: 35.

TRAVIS: That's random.

MATT: Great. Heal you back to consciousness at 35.

LAURA: Amazing.

TRAVIS: 5d8 plus five.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: 40.

LAURA: Woo hoo!

MATT: 40 hit points. There you go, even better.

ASHLEY: Nice.

SAM: Whoa. Look at that. You're fine.

LAURA: Look at that.

SAM: It's like it never happened.

LAURA: Amazing.

TRAVIS: I look at Jester and I say: Forgive me. And I will push up off the deck and reach into the bag of holding and pull out the Cloven Crystal, the third eye.

MATT: Okay. The minute you pull it out and present itself, you watch all of the scions, the ones that are clambering and attacking other crew members, all of a sudden just stop and stare and look over in that direction. The one that's flying in the air that had initially tried to entrap you with the magic drifts and looks down at you. The giant, both of its hands dig in deeper into the ship. That's going to finish your turn. Kingsley, you're up top.

SAM: Oof.

LAURA: Oh.

TALIESIN: As a quick bonus action.

MATT: Yep.

TALIESIN: I'm just going to tap one of them with just-- Just do a (taps) on one of their-- Just to see if they're paying attention at all, because they've just all stopped.

MATT: Mm-hmm. The one that's looking up to it, the one that's closest to you that you previously wounded--

TALIESIN: It was the one I've already hurt.

MATT: Yeah, it "(wet snarling)."

TALIESIN: I'm going to do a full disengage and run up to them.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: It's been wonderful. And spin around them and run up. There's nothing they can do and I can make 70 feet in one round. There's nothing they can do about it.

LAURA: How far away are you from me?

MATT: Slip through both of them as they strike out at you. No impact.

TRAVIS: I think I'm like 10 feet above you.

LAURA: You're five feet above me? Okay.

TALIESIN: Is there a plan? Please, there's a plan. What are you holding? (laughter)

MATT: The giant now, both of its arms push up, and it's doing like a-- You can see now past its shoulders and its torso, this heavy, intricate breast plate across its chest that is covered in kelp and all these runic symbols that seem to almost glow a similar color to its eyes as it pulls forward, looking down upon you. Its voice deeply bellowing out and shaking the ship once more. "Relinquish the key and be spared a cold, forgotten grave below." The mage that's floating above you drifts down and puts out its hand and goes, "Give it to me."

LAURA: It's not your turn! It's not your turn! It's not your turn! You can't do it yet. (laughter)

MATT: As the creatures turn, presenting its arm forward. "Wise move."

TRAVIS: I'll see you again.

MATT: "(snarls)" Drifts back in a large arc, and begins to direct itself back over the side of the ship. The rest of the scions begin to pull away, "(wet snarls)" jumping off the ship into the stormy waters below. The giant "(rough laughing)" (giant crawling) beneath the boat. You hear wood splinter. The whole ship lurches again. (wood splintering) A third time, and you hear now on the deck, a bunch of the wood beginning to strain and pop. A fourth hit and one of the masts falls on the ship.

TALIESIN: Is it time? Everybody up!

LAURA: Everybody get close to me!

TALIESIN: Yeah, we're calling for the crew.

MATT: Okay. The crew's beginning to gather. At this point, you see seven individuals.

LAURA: Seven individuals.

TRAVIS: Of 10. Oh, we are three, right. Seven plus three.

LAURA: Oh, gods, there's seven?

TALIESIN: I've got a plan B.

LAURA: I can only take five of us.

TRAVIS: Where?

LAURA: Home.

TRAVIS: You can teleport?

LAURA: Yeah. That's what I was going to do before you gave the fucking key to the fucking people! I could've just made us go away!

TRAVIS: I'm sorry I saved you from dying.

TALIESIN: How is the storm going right now?

MATT: The storm is still raging. It is not stopping, and the ship right now, you can see, and you especially know the health of a ship. You can hear the water rushing in from below, and the sides of it, you can see where the railing is, it's splintering upward. Something is impacting it from below.

TALIESIN: Worst case scenario, we've got to do something. You've never saw this before. I pull out a thing. I pull out a small box, and I say: Abandon ship. Gather the crew, I toss it off and it folds into a small boat. Boat.

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: You have a boat-in-a-box?

TALIESIN: I have a boat-in-a-box.

MATT: (laughs)

ASHLEY: ♪ Get in my boat-in-a-box! ♪ (laughter)

TALIESIN: It's not that I don't trust you, but I have a boat-in-a-box.

TRAVIS: I don't have a boat-in-a-box.

LAURA: How many people fit in the boat-in-a-box?

TALIESIN: Well, that's the nice thing about it--

MATT: At that moment, as you're answering this question, the ship cracks open, the center of it, a massive teal fist emerging from the center of the deck of the ship. The entire wood lurches upward, the ship breaking now in two around it. As it withdraws, the ship then bows downward with it. Once known as the Balleater, now the Mighty Hero, splintered in twine.

LAURA: Nein Heroez.

MATT: Nein Heroez, sorry. One of the two. It's been a year and a half. (laughter)

TRAVIS: It doesn't matter, it's going underwater.

SAM: It's destroyed.

TRAVIS: No, it doesn't matter. (laughter)

LIAM: The Balleater's going down.

MATT: Immediately begins to take on the ocean, rapidly being swallowed by the ocean around the Swavain Islands. What are you doing? Crew are sliding and falling off into the water. People that were trying to gather with you are now stumbling into the ocean. I need the three of you to make dexterity saving throws for me.

LIAM: If Orly dies, we riot.

TRAVIS: They can all breathe underwater.

MATT: They can. That was a clutch maneuver.

TALIESIN: It is straight dex.

SAM: There's no other explanation.

TALIESIN: Oh, I have-- Do I have? I have advantage on dex. Yes, I do.

TRAVIS: Seven.

TALIESIN: I'm learning this.

LAURA: Eight.

MATT: I don't think you do.

LIAM: What?

TALIESIN: No, I don't.

LIAM: Bailey!

TRAVIS: A seven and an eight.

SAM: She's rolling dog shit over here.

TALIESIN: I'm rolling like crap. 20.

LAURA: Bailey!

MATT: 20, okay.

MARISHA: Jester rolls are back.

LAURA: No. Jester wasn't a bad roller, was she? (laughter)

MATT: So, as you all are gathered around, the impact of this sends you flying off the ship into the ocean around you, lightning still (crashing) off in the distance, as you all come up from the top of the ocean, but you can breathe, thankfully, though the waves are still pulling you around. You glance about, there is no light source beyond the flashes of lightning, and you're not entirely certain where your comrades at the moment are. What are you doing?

LAURA: Can we still breathe water or did that break?

MATT: You can still breathe water, it's not concentration.

LAURA: Okay, that's good.

TALIESIN: There is now a very large boat that will definitely hold everybody sitting in the water next to the ship. Can we light it up? I'll head towards it first, and I'm going to--

LAURA: We head towards the boat, I guess.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Is it dark of night or is there any light from a setting sun or anything?

MATT: No, the storm has completely engulfed, and by now, it is early night time, so the only light that you have is the light you create or the occasional flashes of lightning in the distance that give like a sudden brief moment of shape around you.

TRAVIS: If you want to save anything, I'm holding the Star Razor, I'll cast Faerie Fire up into the sky, so it (light glowing).

MATT: It creates this cloud of faint pale green energy that drifts around. As it hits the surface of the water and illuminates the space around it, you can see there are a handful of survivors. You see Orly is now floating on the surface, the shell up, and it's drifting there in the water. You see Marius is over to the side going, "Help, help!" (laughter)

TALIESIN: I dive.

MARISHA: Fucking Marius.

MATT: Okay. You begin to gather some of the crew around you. A handful get to the boat. And what do you do?

LAURA: What about the ones that are having trouble? Can we help them?

TRAVIS: Yeah, if they can't swim very well, we would put them up in the boat.

TALIESIN: I've got a swim speed that's very, very intense.

MATT: Okay. So, in the middle of the storm--

TRAVIS: Can't drown.

MATT: No, no, that Water Breathing is saving the majority of your crew and yourselves right now.

SAM: Ooh, nice.

MATT: You're still in the process of now trying to recover them amongst the wreckage of a recently destroyed ship as you watch the final element of the bow of the ship sink underneath, and with that, the ocean water begins to pull down. It drags a number of you down with it.

LAURA: Oh god. I'm going to cast Control Water again.

MATT: Okay. With that, you reverse the process. All of this would be much more dangerous if you didn't breathe water.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: But as you get back up to the surface, a few of the crew begin to scavenge themselves up, nine in total. You did lose a member. Shelda Delles, who was the previous first mate under Orly, does not come to surface, seemingly probably crushed at some point during the battle. But the rest of them do, one by one, come back to the surface, the rolling waves battering them about, but through your ingenuity and your spell casting, are protected from the normal terrors of the dark deep beneath. You place some of the members up onto the ship. Who do you take with you?

LAURA: Well, I think-- Should we take the ship? Maybe we can make it to shore on the islands close by, and then, I don't know, I can send a message to somebody to help us.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we were just out at sea, I don't--

TALIESIN: How close were we to the shore?

MATT: You're probably a good half a day's travel to the next island.

TALIESIN: And on a row boat, I might add.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: I mean, if the danger stays away, then we could continue to use what we have to move towards shore in this small ship. I don't mind being in the water, but yeah, we need to look out for them, otherwise they're just on their own. Does your box, boat-in-a-box, come with oars and stuff?

TALIESIN: Oh, yes, there's--

TRAVIS: A sail? Is it more of a dinghy?

TALIESIN: Actually, I can give you a quick-- Its basics. It's 24 feet long, eight feet wide, six feet deep, it has a deck rowing, seats five, five sets of oars, steering oar, anchor, deck cabin, and a mast with a square sail, so it can actually--

TRAVIS: Oh, that actually helps. We'll keep that down for now--

TALIESIN: Sits 15.

TRAVIS: -- because it sucks outside.

TALIESIN: Yes, it does.

TRAVIS: All right. Let's see if the danger can subside. Otherwise, you have to make a tough choice.

TALIESIN: We can always, a few of us can be sent for help and then pick everybody up, find a way of getting everybody back.

MATT: As you gather the crew you can find into this ship, you notice, unnaturally, rapidly, the storm's intensity begins to subside. The power of the raging rain and thunder around you begins to slowly go away. Eventually within the next hour, leaving you with a somewhat first clear view of the stars above. The water's coming to stillness, cold, as a nautical fog takes over much of the land around you. But through Orly's keen sense of direction, you continue pressing on to what you hope to be the next most available section of land, if you're lucky, by morning.

LAURA: I'll Mass Cure Wounds everybody in the boat.

SAM: Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

TALIESIN: Mm.

LAURA: Because I'm a healer.

TRAVIS: Good job. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Good choice.

TALIESIN: And take a shot.

MATT: Sore, groaning, lamenting the loss of one of their own, but pushing on restlessly through the night, the sound of oars splashing in the sides of a ship that is nearly overloaded, pushes its way towards hopeful salvation.

TRAVIS: In the night, can you send a message?

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: How many times?

LAURA: You know, a good amount.

TRAVIS: I think we need to alert our friends, probably Caleb the most, that the eye's been taken, and it might be a race to try and get to the third location before they do. But they have a terrible head start.

LAURA: That was so much more power than I expected them to have, I think. That was like a giant, Fjord, and--

TRAVIS: Yeah, I've heard tale of storm giants. That was far greater than anything I've ever seen or heard of.

LAURA: How will we even get here that fast?

TRAVIS: I don't know. It's a good thing we have powerful friends.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: With that, as you contemplate the next steps in engaging what options you have at your disposal here in the eerily quiet, lonely, still coldness of the ocean, we're going to take a break.

ASHLEY: Oh.

TRAVIS: Oof.

MATT: As part of this break, let's kick off the end of this prologue and the true story behind this episode of Critical Role.

TRAVIS: Oh, that was the prologue?! (water bubbling) (thunder cracking) (explosion blasting) ♪ Role, Role ♪ ♪ Critical, Critical ♪ ♪ Role, Role ♪ ♪ Critical, Critical ♪ ♪ Role, Role ♪ ♪ Critical, Critical ♪ ♪ Role, Role ♪ ♪ Critical, Critical ♪ ♪ Role, Role ♪ ♪ Critical, Critical ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪ ♪ Critical, Critical ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪ ♪ Role, Role ♪ ♪ The adventure begins ♪ ♪ They were always beside you ♪ ♪ Your nerdy best friends ♪ ♪ And the DM to guide you ♪ ♪ And the rise from the flames ♪ ♪ For the battles ahead ♪ ♪ Villains beware 'cause you're 'bout to be dead ♪ ♪ They got magic and flare ♪ ♪ They got falchions and cunning ♪ ♪ They don't see over there ♪ ♪ There's a monster incoming ♪ ♪ Inspiration is waiting ♪ ♪ Rise up, don't think twice ♪ ♪ Put your fate in your hands ♪ ♪ Take a chance, roll the dice ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪ ♪ Role ♪ ♪ Critical, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪ ♪ Critical, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪ ♪ Critical, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪ ♪ Ooh, whoa ♪ ♪ Can you answer the call ♪ ♪ Diggin' deep in your soul ♪ ♪ As the legend unfolds ♪ ♪ Now it's your turn ♪ ♪ Your turn ♪ ♪ Your turn ♪ ♪ To roll ♪ (flames whooshing) (haunting music) (music builds) (intense music) (intense music continues) (intense music continues) (intense music continues) (haunting music) Hey Critters, Laura Bailey here to guide you through what's new in the Critical Role shop. This holiday season, give the gift of effortless style. These holidays, you know, they're just around the corner. Style should be a dump stat, darling. Oh, so comfy-cozy! (gasps) Could anything be more perfect? I mean, the Traveler always says impulse purchases are a good decision. This is a lot of stuff, you guys. We have like so many cool things right now. And hey, if you want, you could head over to the Critical Role shop right now. (festive music) (knob clicks) ♪ Upon a sea that's tossed and gray ♪ ♪ We fight to keep the dreams at bay ♪ ♪ For in our sleep we hope for peace ♪ ♪ Les the nightmares have their way ♪ ♪ Uk'otoa, Uk'otoa, keep him locked away ♪ ♪ Chilling thoughts and watchful eyes ♪ ♪ Await for those who seek the prize ♪ ♪ But all is not as it was thought ♪ ♪ For the serpent always lies ♪ ♪ Uk'otoa, Uk'otoa, keep him locked away ♪ ♪ And if the creature is released ♪ ♪ Our peaceful days will surely cease ♪ ♪ The winds will wail as waves assail ♪ ♪ To herald what lurks beneath ♪ ♪ Uk'otoa, Uk'otoa, keep him locked away ♪ ♪ A haunted fog comes rolling through ♪ ♪ The sea begins to toss and strew ♪ ♪ With cutlass and cannon we makes a stand ♪ ♪ Though little might it do ♪ ♪ Uk'otoa, Uk'otoa, keep him locked away ♪ ♪ As the serpent rises tall ♪ ♪ His many eyes now seeing all ♪ ♪ The ship won't keep above the deep ♪ ♪ If our steadfast sailors fall ♪ ♪ Uk'otoa, Uk'otoa, keep him locked away ♪ ♪ A flick of tongue and sharpened teeth ♪ ♪ Are the only gifts that he'll bequeath ♪ ♪ And those who fought to stay aloft ♪ ♪ Will be swallowed and drowned beneath ♪ ♪ Uk'otoa, Uk'otoa, keep him locked away ♪ ♪ So heed the words from sailors old ♪ ♪ Beware the dreams with eyes of gold ♪ ♪ And though he'll speak of quests and powers blessed ♪ ♪ Ignore the lies you're told ♪ ♪ Uk'otoa, Uk'otoa, keep him locked away ♪ ♪ Uk'otoa, Uk'otoa, keep him locked away ♪ ♪ Uk'otoa, Uk'otoa, keep him locked away ♪ ♪ Uk'otoa, Uk'otoa, keep him locked away ♪ (thunder rumbles) (water gurgles) (mysterious music) (voices whisper) (calm pastoral music) (peaceful pastoral music) (music builds) (playful music) (typewriter taps) (sweeping classical music) Oh, hi everyone, it's me, Jester. So the Traveler and I were going to tell you guys all about subscribing to Twitch, but it sort of seems like he's not really here right now, which is so stupid. Traveler? Traveler! Artie! (huffs) You know what? It's fine, I can do it by myself. With myself. (clears throat) I invoke Duplicity. Oh, hello Jester. Hi, Jester. Okay, so what we're going to do today is tell the people at home all about the good stuff they get when subscribing to Twitch. Oh, I don't know what Twitch is, but that sounds good. Let's go! No, that's perfect, 'cause this works for you too then. Okay, so there's a professionally moderated live chat and if you subscribe, you can post the links in the chat. Like a link to a cool hamster video? Exactly like that! So what we do here is tell really cool stories, right? And sometimes crazy shit happens when we're telling those stories and people that subscribe get special emotes so you can express how you feel. What if you live on the side of Exandria where it's really late and you're like, "I'm just gonna close my for a few seconds," and then it's two hours and the music is playing and you're like, "Oh no, I missed the whole show!" Oh no, that's a great question. Well, if you subscribe to Twitch, then you can just watch all of our VODs as soon as the live broadcast ends. So cool, right? So cool! I know! Another really cool thing is you can gift subscriptions to people. I could buy a subscription for you, Duplicate Jester and for other, what are you doing? Look what I found! Oh my gosh, paint brushes. Look, I could draw a dick. Oh, well, technically, technically that might break Twitch's terms of service, so... But there's no rule against drawing chubby little snakes. Yeah, or a really long balloon sword! Or like a really thick rope with two honkin' knots at the end of it. Cucumber with two tomatoes. Yeah, a banana, you know, sitting next to an onion and an avocado. A mushroom with a little cap on it. A weenie dog with just two feet. Yeah! Artie, where are you? Should we go look for him? Yeah, sure, why not? Oh, don't forget to subscribe to Critical Role. Okay, let's go! Okay!

MATT: And welcome back. So, for those that survived the attack on the now destroyed and sunken ship previously known as The Balleater, previously known as The Nein Heroez, you slowly make your way on towards the nearest bit--

MARISHA: ♪ Makin' my way ♪

MATT: There it is. (laughter)

SAM: He said slowly, he said slowly make your way.

MATT: Towards the nearest bit of land. While you're there, you were preparing to send out messages.

LAURA: Yes, that's right. I definitely was. It's still the same day, and I definitely wasn't already changing my spells for the next one. (laughter) I'm going to cast Message. I'm going to send a message first to Caleb, since you said Caleb would be the one that needs to know immediately. Caleb, our boat sank. Everybody, well--

TALIESIN: Ship. (laughter)

LAURA: Oh no.

LAURA: Uk'otoa is awake or something. Fjord gave away the key. We'll need you and Essek, probably, too. We're in-- (laughter)

TALIESIN: You ran out of words again, didn't you?

SAM: It's so hard, jeez.

MARISHA: Counting is weird.

TRAVIS: Brain bubble stuff, you're like-- (laughter)

SAM: (like Jester) Everybody.

LIAM: Jester, it's so good to hear from you. If you message me back, tell me where you are?

SAM: Spell slot.

LAURA: That's all I said, that's all-- (laughter) Where are are we, Fjord, exactly? Orly, where are we, exactly?

TALIESIN: There we go. (laughter)

TRAVIS: I don't know.

MATT: Do you have the map, Captain?

TRAVIS: I do not. It's over there.

TALIESIN: A stone's throw away, which means it's at the bottom of the bloody sea.

TRAVIS: Yep. (laughter)

SAM: This map?

LAURA: No. (laughs)

TRAVIS: We were in the Lucidian Ocean, last I heard. (laughter)

MARISHA: Yes, yeah.

SAM: This map is brought to you by nothing.

TRAVIS: Going west now.

SAM: We don't have a map sponsor.

TRAVIS: I don't know.

MARISHA: Still going west.

SAM: We have a combat cam sponsor, but not a map sponsor.

MATT: There we go. Look at that Menagerie Coast Map there.

SAM: Whoa!

LAURA: Hey.

SAM: It's all weathered and old.

MATT: Where were you?

MARISHA: Do we have coordinates in Exandria?

LIAM: Cords.

MATT: Yes, but they're not on the map, because I don't want to put coordinates on the map.

TRAVIS: I don't fucking know, I mean--

MATT: Tell me where you were last.

LAURA: We were by the island.

MATT: You're the captain.

TRAVIS: We were right here--

LAURA: We were a half day's--

TRAVIS: We were real close, right on the shore.

SAM: You were right on the coast? (laughter)

SAM: You were like 50 feet from the shore?

TRAVIS: Let's say we had just passed--

MATT: On the trade routes that are up here and all throughout here.

TALIESIN: Oh, boy.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we can say we had just gone past, whatever that is, in cursive.

LAURA: We were next to the island. The something island.

MARISHA: Who still writes in cursive?

MATT: Okay. I'll put you probably right in the middle of here, between Brokenbank and Port Zoon, in that area.

TRAVIS: Cool, what is that?

MATT: The Twinward Isles.

TRAVIS: Twinward Isles, okay, cool.

MATT: So we'll say you can-- you're partway through there. You can head towards that land mass and will be there by morning, likely.

TRAVIS: Great.

LAURA: We're heading toward the Twinward Isles.

TRAVIS: As I tuck the map back into my airtight bag of holding--

LAURA: Airtight?

TRAVIS: Uh-huh.

LAURA: Okay, I'm going to send another message to Caleb. Right, that's important. We are going to the Twinward Isles. We'll be there in the morning. Our boat sank. Can you make sure that-- That Beau and Yasha know? You can tell them, right? That's it. (laughter)

LAURA: That's all I have.

TRAVIS: Really?

LAURA: I thought I had another hand. (laughter)

LAURA: How far did I get? (laughter)

TRAVIS: Can you tell Beau and--

MARISHA: I think you got Beau and Yasha.

LAURA: Okay, okay, great.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LIAM: *Ja**, understood. We will be there in the morning, all of us.

LAURA: Yes. Caleb's got this covered. He'll be there with everyone.

TRAVIS: Good.

LAURA: Should I-- Do you think he meant everyone like Beau and Yasha, like I said? Or do you think I need to tell Veth as well?

TRAVIS: Well, did you run out of words for your spell or did it all get in?

LAURA: I mean, I didn't say anything about Veth.

TRAVIS: I'm sure he'll let Veth know.

LAURA: What if Veth doesn't know, and she's just running her camp and we're all dying? She'll be so sad.

TRAVIS: I don't--

LAURA: Don't you think?

TALIESIN: Eh.

TRAVIS: I'm sure she loves the camp, but, I mean, this is the big cheese. This is Uk'otoa we're talking about.

ALL: (creepy whispering) Uk'otoa.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: I'm going to send a message to Veth. You won't believe what just happened. Our boat sank. Fjord gave away the key. We need your help. Twin. Isle.

SAM: You have all that.

TRAVIS: All four. You're trying to give fucking coordinates to Veth? You got three more words.

SAM: No, no, no, she's got eight.

TRAVIS: Oh, eight.

LAURA: Twin something islands. Look it up. See ya.

SAM: Hey!

TALIESIN: Twin, twin.

SAM: You hear back: (pants) (laughter) One second, Yez. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Oh my god. (laughter)

SAM: (continued panting)

TRAVIS: Amazing.

SAM: I heard (pants) "Twin Isles" something. (laughter)

SAM: I was distracted. (laughter)

SAM: Really good. (laughter)

SAM: Uh, yeah, okay. Okay, great, yeah, I will. We'll see you then. We'll see you there. Okay, come on, come on! (laughter) (laughter) (laughter)

TRAVIS: Yes!

LAURA: Veth is coming, too. (laughter)

TRAVIS: That's so good.

MATT: Well played.

TALIESIN: Wow.

ASHLEY: Excellent. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Oh, man.

MATT: All right. So lest there be any other messages, spells, or inopportune moments to converse with your friends, pushing through the evening, oars to water, eventually the sun does rise right as you make landfall on the Twinward Isles. With that, the rest of the crew comes to the surface, exhausted and ready to sleep in a safer space. They begin to take what materials they have to set up a camp here, while you go about what business you need to. So, with the morning here, Kingsley, Jester, Fjord, what would you like to do?

TALIESIN: I'd tap the boat a couple times. Could've been worse. (grinding) And it folds back into it.

LAURA: Oh, that's great. It's not like a one-use sort of thing?

TALIESIN: Oh, no. That's not even the first time I've used it, to be honest.

LAURA: Do you sneak out? I can't believe all the shipments we've been stealing from the shipping company got sunk to the bottom of the ocean.

TALIESIN: That's so amazing that that happened, yes. It's crazy how many of them sank. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Absolutely. (laughs) Oh, so what do we do in the meantime, Cap'n? Off then?

TRAVIS: Fire, shelter, get comfortable.

LAURA: We have to wait until we can get off of the island. I mean, I don't want to abandon the rest of the crew here. Technically, we could get off of the island, but you know.

TALIESIN: I hate waiting. Is there anything-- oh.

MATT: As Orly saunters up now, looking spent and sweaty, for as much as a turtle man sweats-- (laughter)

MATT: "Mm, Captain, looks round here like we got m-m-materials to set up a shelter and take on a waiting period to get back to civilization. Don't let us weigh you down if you got things to do. I saw what you did."

TRAVIS: Materials, on this island?

MATT: He gestures out to the trees that sit along the coastline.

TRAVIS: What will you do for food, water?

MATT: "Well, I got my ways, and everybody here but M-M-Marius, I think, can survive on their own."

TRAVIS: I don't want to leave you on this island. You're in my charge.

MATT: "Very well. I'm going to sleep now." He curls up and goes to sleep right there on the beach in his shell. Just gives up and is (snoring).

LAURA: How fast do you think they'll be able to wake him up? Not Orly, (whispers) Uk'otoa.

TRAVIS: Well, they're in the water, of the water. Last I remember-- the vision was ages ago-- but even if I was guessing it, the location is east of Nicodranas, east of the Menagerie Coast. We're terribly behind.

LAURA: You look like you're giving up already.

TRAVIS: No, no, no, no, no, we're terribly behind.

LAURA: So what do we do?!

TRAVIS: We wait for our friends.

LAURA: And then...?

TRAVIS: Or if you'd like, if you do have the ability to go join with the rest, you should and perhaps find a way to get back here. But I can't leave the rest of this crew stranded on an island.

LAURA: I don't understand what you're saying. So I need to get everybody else from the Mighty Nein, go defeat Uk'otoa, and you're just going to stay here with the crew because you don't want to abandon them?

TRAVIS: What do you want to do?

LAURA: Well, I want to keep Uk'otoa from taking over the world? That seems like a smart start, right?

TRAVIS: I think if we're waiting for Caleb and the others, they'll find us, yes?

LAURA: I mean, I told them we were here.

TRAVIS: Where can you send us anyway?

LAURA: Home to Nicodranas, that's pretty much it. Or, if I get some sleep, I could take us to the Feywild.

TRAVIS: Either of those places are not where you told people we would be, right?

LAURA: Correct.

TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: I mean, once everybody gets here.

TRAVIS: Right.

LAURA: But I don't know what good that would do either.

TRAVIS: What do you mean?

SAM: (laughs)

LAURA: Well, going back to Nicodranas, what good is that going to do us, once everybody gets here? Or going to the Feywild, while it could be fun-- we could escape there if Uk'otoa does, you know, explode out of the water and take over the world. Maybe we can just go live in the Feywild.

TRAVIS: Just jump, yeah, we jump dimensions.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah. That's a good option.

TALIESIN: Well, since we have time to kill, we could help the crew with the basics of food and shelter and water and such, while we're waiting. Also, what is Uk'otoa and why are we so concerned about this? That whole thing felt very personal, and I'm just saying, I don't know where y'all have been, what you've been up to, but that felt, I don't know, that wasn't random, I suppose. That had a lot of very personal, "Give me the key, I'm going to sink your ship, arr--"

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: -- sense to it.

TRAVIS: Yes, Uk'otoa is an ancient creature that I saw in dreams that gave me the first of my magical abilities. And I have two of the three keys and just gave up the third, which he needs to be released upon this plane and to wreak havoc.

LAURA: So once they use that final key to open the final portal or chain, or whatever it is that's shackling Uk'otoa to his prison, then he'll come out and kill everyone, maybe?

TRAVIS: It's real bad. It's very, very bad.

TALIESIN: That was surprisingly clear, actually. Yeah, all right. All right, yeah, that is a problem.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: That's fair.

LAURA: All of the people that were fighting are very comfortable in the water and obviously belong in the water and--

TALIESIN: So just staying away from the water is not an option?

LAURA: Probably not.

TALIESIN: No, that's fair.

TRAVIS: Yeah, in hindsight, it probably would've been smart to make sure that I was in safe keeping, but I held onto it and stayed at the sea at the same time with no clear exit strategy or plan for attack. But, you know, what can you do?

TALIESIN: Honestly, it's one of the things I respect about you the most. That's a bold move.

TRAVIS: Yeah, bold.

TALIESIN: Very bold.

LAURA: I'm sorry I died and went unconscious and you had to give over the key to save us.

TALIESIN: It's a very intense relationship.

TRAVIS: You got bitch slapped by a storm giant. There wasn't much to apologize for. We were all dead in a matter of seconds after that.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Well, I'm going to walk away from whatever it is that this is. That's great. I'm going to go--

TRAVIS: Yeah, food, water.

TALIESIN: -- make something out of sticks.

TRAVIS: Shelter, fire, all that.

TALIESIN: Right! Have fun.

LAURA: Fjord, are you okay?

TRAVIS: No, I'm not okay!

LAURA: You seem really disheartened.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

LAURA: I know!

TRAVIS: Yes, I'm very disheartened! Yes, you almost died.

LAURA: I know.

MATT: (Orly) "I'm going to go and sleep over there." (laughter)

LAURA: Sorry, Orly.

TRAVIS: The fuck are you still doing here?

LAURA: I thought you had gone.

TALIESIN: He was sleeping.

TRAVIS: Oh, shit, that's right.

TALIESIN: Right there. (laughter)

TRAVIS: He fell asleep at our feet. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Such a choice. (laughter)

TRAVIS: I'm sorry, Orly. Don't mean to shout.

MATT: "(grunts)"

TRAVIS: Yes, I'm disheartened. I didn't want to give away the Cloven Crystal. Yes, they'll take it to unleash Uk'otoa and the world's probably fucked for it, and our friends aren't anywhere around here to help and--

LAURA: They will be.

TRAVIS: Sure, sure. It seems very irresponsible now. Would I have done it any differently? (laughs) No.

LAURA: (laughs) We'll stop it from happening.

TRAVIS: We'll try.

LAURA: We defeated an entire city. We can defeat a sea creature.

TRAVIS: (inhales) Yes.

LAURA: Maybe not just us, because obviously we didn't do too great last night, but with everybody else here.

TRAVIS: It'll be a start. I think the difference is when we were fighting the city, it was just us. If we failed, there was a whole dimension that had to be skipped through. If Uk'otoa is released and we are not there to stop it, we're really not sure what will happen until we're able to engage him. And even then, the dreams I have are awful. They're awful.

LAURA: We'll make it right.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: We always do.

MATT: Meanwhile, Caleb, upon receiving this message from Jester--

LIAM: Night before, yeah?

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: Yeah. Immediately, I pull out my sending stone. Hello, Beauregard, I know that it is outside working hours and that can be a bit of a prickly pear with you, but we have a bit of an emergency. Are you available to talk?

MARISHA: (panting) (laughter)

ASHLEY: Who is this?

MARISHA: Sorry.

ASHLEY: Hang up!

MARISHA: Oh, give me one second, babe. Yeah, Caleb, hi, how can--

LIAM: I set the stone away from me, two feet away. (laughter)

MATT: Oh my god.

TRAVIS: Really?

ASHLEY: Worst timing, every time.

MARISHA: I know, every time he does this timing.

ASHLEY: Goddamn it.

MARISHA: Pass me Martina's prune juice she gave us. (sniffs) Yeah, no, what do you need?

LIAM: I just got a message from Jester. They are in trouble, big trouble. Fjord has apparently handed over the last of his crystals. You know what that means, *ja**?

MARISHA: He did what now?

LIAM: Right, so I'm going to Nicodranas now and I'm going to attempt to swing by and pick up Veth. Get your guest bedroom ready, because we might be staying the night. I'll let you know.

MARISHA: Oh, well, I'm in Zadash. Wait, are you coming here? Are you coming here? Are we road tripping?

LIAM: In a bit.

MARISHA: Are we getting the gang back together?!

LIAM: Yes, you know--

MARISHA: Yeah!

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, that's actually exciting.

MARISHA: Babe, babe, let's go!

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, let's go.

MARISHA: Okay, okay, put your clothes on.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: Okay, what, are you coming right now?

LIAM: No, I'm not, I'm by myself, but I will visit you later.

ASHLEY: Wait, later tonight?

MARISHA: I've got you on speaker.

ASHLEY: (louder) Later tonight? Because it's already pretty late. I mean, we still have some food.

MARISHA: Yeah, you want to come get dinner?

LIAM: Yeah, give me about an hour.

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: Then I will instantly teleport outside of Yeza and Veth's home.

MATT: As you arrive here mid-evening in the streets of Nicodranas--

LIAM: Sorry, sorry.

LAURA: Everyone-- (laughter)

MATT: "(gasps)"

LIAM: Okay, I twist the Ring of Telepathy on my finger and I think, because it's not that big a place, within 120 feet of Veth: Hello, Veth, I'm sorry to be interrupting. I see the scoutmaster sash hanging out your window.

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

LIAM: But I have a bit of an emergency. What is going on tonight?

SAM: It's fine. It's fine. Good timing. (laughter)

ASHLEY: That so stupid.

SAM: Good timing.

LAURA: Stupid.

SAM: I'm fine. I'll be right down. Hold on.

LIAM: Hello?

SAM: Three hours go by. (laughter)

SAM: No, I pop out in my silk chemise. What's a chemise?

LAURA: It's just a shirt.

MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: It's a shirt. I wanted a robe or something.

LAURA: Just say your silk robe.

SAM: I know, but isn't there a cuter name than robe? It's a chemise. (laughter)

LIAM: Yeah, hello, it's good to see you.

SAM: You, too! (screams) Okay, I just had to get my voice back.

ASHLEY: Yeah, you got it right.

SAM: Yeah, yeah. It's a chemise!

ASHLEY: It's a chemise. Or well, these ones are--

TALIESIN: Those are Korean chemises, I don't know.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, sorry.

LIAM: Crazy story, I think that--

SAM: I know, I heard already. Jester telepathically told me what's going on. We have to get there to help her on some island.

LIAM: Okay, well, we need the ladies, the other ladies. Are you good with a stop off in Zadash?

SAM: Sure, of course.

LIAM: We're gone.

SAM: Bye, family!

LIAM: Wait! (laughter)

SAM: It's okay, it's okay. Jester can message them later. Let's go!

MATT: Yeah, you're already gone.

LAURA: You have none of your armor.

TALIESIN: You're in your chemise.

SAM: My stuff! Oh, it's fine.

LIAM: We get your stuff.

SAM: I keep a spare set at your house.

LIAM: We'll get your stuff.

SAM: It's fine.

MATT: No!

LIAM: No. Not all your magic items that you have.

SAM: I have my wondrous rare item dupes.

LIAM: Take 10 minutes.

SAM: Okay, okay. I get everything. We go.

LIAM: That'd be so cool, though. All right, so--

MATT: As you're rushing out, by the way, as you have all your stuff and you're rushing out, the door opens a bit and Yeza goes, "Honey?"

SAM: Oh, camp! Camp!

LIAM: Oh, hello.

MATT: "Yeah, we just had all of campers arrive. What do you--"

SAM: The first day is tomorrow. Can you just do me a solid and just run the camp for a few days? I promise, it's fine. You just have to teach them basic shooting, basic hunting, basic tracking skills, how to pick a lock, how to disarm a bomb. Can you just sort of-- it's basic stuff. You'll be fine.

MATT: "Okay. Hi."

LIAM: Hey, good to see you.

SAM: Oh, yeah.

LIAM: Awkward timing. So sorry. It's very important.

MATT: "I assume."

SAM: You know what, just make day one about showing them the facilities, finding their cabins, and you can actually let Luc teach them the art of stealth.

MATT: "Okay, that should be fine. Hmm, no, series of issues possibly could arise. I will take care of them as a co-parent, and I will handle this responsibility with acceptance, gusto, and... I apologize in advance."

SAM: If you need a little confidence booster, try your grapefruit odor thing. It'll just sort of pep you up.

MATT: "No, you're right, you're right." (sniffs) "Okay."

SAM: Yeah, you got this.

MATT: "Okay, okay."

SAM: All right. Be back in 24 hours, maybe.

LIAM: Maybe 48 hours.

MATT: "Okay, well, as long as you're not going anywhere dangerous. Travel safe and, I don't know, pick something up for Luc while you're out."

SAM: Yes, a present, of course. Yes, that's a great idea. Okay, mwah!

MATT: "Mwah."

SAM: Okay.

MATT: "Okay. Caleb."

LIAM: Too quick.

MATT: "Always."

LIAM: I mean, not... Okay.

SAM: We go!

MATT: He blushes. The last thing you see is his cheeks redden as you vanish out, appearing where?

LIAM: I think by the heirloom tomatoes in their garden.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: (squish)

MARISHA: Oh, the heirlooms!

LIAM: Still ripe. (light knocking) Hello, hello?

MARISHA: Swing open the door, and I've got two bottles of wine already open.

SAM: Whoa.

MARISHA: We're getting back together! (laughter)

MARISHA: (triumphant yell)

SAM: Some action!

ASHLEY: Come in, come in. I've been heating up leftovers. I have on an apron that says, "Zadashian in the streets, Xhorhasian in the sheets." (laughter)

ASHLEY: We are warming up some stew, you know. Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit.

MARISHA: She made a stroganoff.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah.

SAM: Is this the recipe that what's her name gave you?

ASHLEY: Yes, weasel tongue. Martina Steward.

SAM: Martina Steward?

ASHLEY: Oh my god, she's so great.

MARISHA: She's so annoying.

ASHLEY: She's annoying, but she's a very, very good cook.

SAM: Her positivity is just sort of grating.

ASHLEY: She's too much. It's a lot.

LIAM: With cooking like that, though, the rest does not matter.

MARISHA: That's true.

ASHLEY: You are exactly right.

SAM: We eat. We-- We have to figure out way. Can you just get us there? Is that how it works nowadays?

LIAM: I can, but I think it would be better if we just get a good night's rest, get ready for the trip.

ASHLEY: Wait, where?

MARISHA: Yeah, where are we going?

SAM: Oh yeah, we fill you in.

LIAM: They are on the Twinward Isles.

MARISHA: Do we have a boat? Because we're fighting... If they're shipwrecked, are we fighting Uk'otoa on the... How do we do that?

LIAM: I can't bring them a boat. The best I could do is make a simple boat once we're there, but I can get us to them, and I can take them from there, and maybe a better plan can be crafted. But I just told them that I would get there as soon as possible.

SAM: We can't message them, right? Should we ask them--

ASHLEY: I think I can.

SAM: Wait, what? That's right, you have that magic, don't you?

ASHLEY: Yes, I think I could give it a try.

SAM: Will you ask them-- If we could hire a boat in Nicodranas, we could sail it there. It would take a few extra days.

ASHLEY: It's only worked a couple times. So I don't know if I could.

LIAM: I get the feeling, though, that we are on a strict timetable here.

SAM: But if they don't have a boat, and we get to an island, what do we do?

ASHLEY: We're going to a deserted island to be with them on the deserted island.

MARISHA: Do we know if the Twinsack Islands or--

LIAM: Twinward Isles.

MARISHA: Is it deserted?

SAM: History check.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Can I roll, too?

MATT: Yes, you may.

LIAM: I just want to ask, because it's been a while--

ALL: ♪ Been a while ♪

SAM: What am I rolling?

MATT: History.

LIAM: Did we pass within view of those islands on our sailing along the routes?

MATT: You would've, yes, on the return to Nicodranas.

LIAM: Did I get eyes on it?

MATT: You would've. It's the closest set of islands towards Nicodranas and Port Zoon, so you would've passed by at a distance. You never, probably, would've stopped there.

LIAM: Once, twice?

MATT: I'd say the one time that you guys were returning from the original trip with Fjord out there on the Menagerie Coast.

LIAM: Okay, asking for teleportation reasons.

MATT: Yes, you would have familiarity with it.

LIAM: Okay, okay.

SAM: 19.

MARISHA: 19!

MATT: Okay, the Twinward Isles, which are a cluster of them--

MARISHA: There's more than two?

MATT: Meaning that it is not a singular island.

LAURA: No, no, no!

LIAM: No! They just cleaned it up, man.

SAM: I was thirsty.

MARISHA: Oh, okay, okay, okay.

MATT: Yeah, it's the two of them.

MARISHA: Two.

MATT: They're not abandoned. There are small villages and trade posts there. It's not a bustling cityscape by any means, but there are people that live there. There are people that trade there. There are a couple of--

SAM: Might be other ships there?

LIAM: So we'd be aware of that.

MATT: Yes.

SAM: Okay, okay.

MARISHA: Okay, all right. Should we bring some cash, maybe some rare goods in case we need to, you know, bribe somebody?

LIAM: I just want to repeat the key point. Fjord has hastened the release of Uk'otoa.

ASHLEY: Excuse me?

TRAVIS: Yeah, I did that.

LIAM: That was the limited message that I received, so we are going in guns blazing, I assume, or prepared as such.

SAM: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Great.

MARISHA: I knew this day would come.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: I'm so happy.

SAM: Is there anyone else we need to bring? Essek?

MARISHA: Should we call Caduceus? Nah.

SAM: Nah, he was sort of useless most of the time.

LAURA: (laughs)

SAM: He talked really slow.

MARISHA: He had good healing, though.

ASHLEY: We could check in just to see.

SAM: Did he?

ASHLEY: You know, because what if he finds out that we went to go do it, and then he was like, why didn't you call me?

MARISHA: He feels left out?

ASHLEY: Yeah, that's shitty.

LIAM: I don't think any of us are able to do that at the moment.

ASHLEY: I can try. (laughter)

SAM: Yeah, you know what? If he responds, then we'll know.

ASHLEY: Okay.

SAM: And if he doesn't, we can assume that he doesn't want to respond and that he doesn't want to come.

TALIESIN: Literally saved your kid, just saying.

ASHLEY: Okay. Hello, Caduceus. Your old pal Yasha here, from Mighty Nein. You know that.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: So great.

ASHLEY: This is hard. Problem. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Good qualifier.

ASHLEY: Oh no.

TRAVIS: Try to list it out.

MARISHA: You got this, babe.

TRAVIS: How about this?

ASHLEY: Deserted.

MARISHA: Get the important stuff first.

ASHLEY: Twinward Isles.

MARISHA: Okay.

TALIESIN: What's going on?

ASHLEY: Uk'otoa is free.

MARISHA: Good work, babe.

ASHLEY: You know, I figured--

LAURA: You got five more.

MARISHA: It's still recording.

ASHLEY: Love you. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: There is no response.

ASHLEY: Just give him a minute.

SAM: He must not want to join us. It's perfect.

ASHLEY: It's late, it's late. I'm being rude. He's probably asleep, never mind.

SAM: It's fine.

TALIESIN: Hey!

LAURA: She doesn't actually have it.

TALIESIN: Oh, she doesn't actually have it?

MATT: She doesn't actually have the spell. (laughter) (laughter)

SAM: Commit!

MARISHA: Caduceus is alone and he just saw a beetle, and he was like, "Hey!"

LAURA: Hey! (laughter)

TALIESIN: Caduceus would've been laughing for a solid two minutes before getting back to you.

ASHLEY: Should we all have a sleepover next to the fire?

MARISHA: (gasps)

SAM: No. We should go to them immediately.

TRAVIS: Yeah, what part of that message wasn't fucking clear?

LIAM: I do want to rest tonight. I used a little bit of my juice to jump to Nicodranas and to here.

ASHLEY: Me too. I just used my Message.

MARISHA: We can rest later, though, and at least get there. I'm sure they're not going to want to go out tonight anyway. We can go camping. Beach camping. It'll be just like when we fought Vokodo.

LIAM: That did not go so well.

MARISHA: That went great. What are you talk-- I opened a bar. Jester threw a great con.

ASHLEY: We beat him.

MARISHA: We watched the Traveler almost get sucked up into the sky. It went fucking awesome. Man, that was a good time.

ASHLEY: That was a really good time. That place was kind of great. We have to go again.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LIAM: Well, it's up to you.

SAM: Let's go.

MARISHA: Let's go.

ASHLEY: Let's go. Oh, Caleb, come on.

LIAM: Yeah, all right. So I will burn... I've used a 7th, I've used an 8th. I will use a 9th.

SAM: But we're going to rest. It's fine.

LIAM: But we're going to rest, we think, so that's what I do.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: I take us to the Twinward Isle on my 9th-level spell slot.

MARISHA: -- he's got to go up.

MATT: Okay. And with that, you gather your friends here.

LIAM: Tiny hut.

MATT: At the center of the Beauregard-Yasha residence here in Zadash, all four of you vanish, leaving the abode, and instead appear on the outskirts of the Twinward Isles, as you all apparate in the middle of the night upon a sandy beach, the edge of the southern coastline of the southernmost isle.

LIAM: This is the only part of the island I remember. We saw it from three miles away. We're very lucky to be alive. (laughter)

MARISHA: All right.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: Which, to that point--

SAM: Uh-oh.

TALIESIN: Everything I ever wanted.

MATT: Could you roll a d100 for me?

LIAM: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Oh no.

MATT: As the magic still drifts.

MARISHA: You going to go for a little midnight swim.

LIAM: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Swimmies. Seven.

MATT: Seven.

LAURA: Seven out of 100?

SAM: Yes.

MARISHA: Is that lower is better?

LIAM: That's the bad end.

MATT: You've viewed once, so.

LIAM: Yeah. That's the bad end, I believe.

TRAVIS: You've viewed once?

LAURA: He saw it from a distance. ♪ From a distance ♪

SAM: You can't "From a distance" yourself.

LAURA: I did. (laughter)

MARISHA: There are rules?

SAM: Yeah, you can't Middler yourself.

MATT: As you are all pulled from the living space, you begin to see the beach, but you feel like parts of you are being pulled through, while other parts are not. The magic is imperfect. With that, all of you take--

LAURA: Cut in half.

MATT: -- 18 points of force damage as the feedback tears your forms for a second before it pulls back, and then I'm going to roll on the table to see what we get. That is a... Okay. Not bad, not bad.

SAM: (laughs)

MATT: That's only a little off target.

LIAM: Wrong island.

MATT: Oh, you are so lucky. All of you pull back and then re-apparate into the water of the ocean.

SAM: Oh shit!

MATT: All of a sudden, you're all breathing in the waves.

SAM: (screams)

MATT: You're hating this.

LIAM: It's okay, just a slight mishap. I need to recalculate.

ASHLEY: Come here. Get on my back.

SAM: I have a ring of water walking. I'm fine. (laughter)

LIAM: Is there an island in view?

MATT: Roll a perception check.

LIAM: Okay. As Orym?

MATT: Nope.

TRAVIS: There's also a--

LAURA: Who is that?

TRAVIS: -- fire on the shore.

LIAM: 16.

MATT: Indeed, there is.

TALIESIN: There is a big fire.

MATT: With a 16, this deep in the middle of night, you do indeed see a flicker of a flame, maybe about a half mile, about a mile or so from where you currently are.

MARISHA: Ooh.

LIAM: Oh *Scheiße**. Okay.

MARISHA: Have you been working on your cardio? Are you good for this?

LIAM: *Nein**.

ASHLEY: You want to get on my back or something? I don't know.

LIAM: Yeah, that sounds good, Yasha. Your back is enormous. Here we go.

ASHLEY: I work out.

MATT: All right.

SAM: Wait! I can float us all on a floating disk.

TRAVIS: What?

LAURA: You can do that?

SAM: I have a floating disk. Yes, of course. I've been working on my spells.

MATT: What disk is this?

SAM: This is a floating disk.

TRAVIS: Did you just write floating disk in your notebook?

SAM: No, it's a spell. It makes a circular, horizontal plane of force three feet in diameter. Wait, that's not very wide, is it?

TRAVIS and MARISHA: No. (laughter)

SAM: I can float one of you on a disc!

LIAM: Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Sorry. I've got my bearing. There's a giant great white shark on your back for a split second before I roll off, and the shark just starts circling the group.

TRAVIS: That's good.

ASHLEY: Okay, this works.

SAM: That's better.

TRAVIS: That's positive.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Not at all dangerous.

ASHLEY: I'm going to grab onto his fin.

MATT: There you go. Through the odd combination of abilities and skills here exhausted, you all eventually come to the southernmost beach of the Twinward Isles. There, not too far from where the flames flicker at the coastline. Within a short time, you do gather and begin to see the still conscious and concentrating, looking into the flames of the firelight, surrounded by a few small, makeshift huts and tents, Fjord Stone. You, glancing there, concentrating for a second, you hear the sound of footfalls and glance over, and you can see some figures stepping from out of the ocean.

TRAVIS: Oh, I see you got our message.

MARISHA: Fjord?

ASHLEY: Hello!

MARISHA: Jester?

ASHLEY: Kingsley?

LAURA: Beau?

MARISHA: Hey! (cheering)

MARISHA: Give her a big hug.

LAURA, ASHLEY, and MARISHA: (excited noises)

ASHLEY: Captain.

SAM: Fjord! Did you-- You lost weight. You seem thinner, frailer.

TRAVIS: I think it's the seawater.

SAM: Oh, maybe.

MARISHA: Oh, you do look wet.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: Fjord's really bummed, you guys.

SAM: Why?

LAURA: Because he woke up Uk'otoa and he blames himself, I think.

SAM: Was it his fault?

LAURA: But it's not his fault, it's my fault because I'm the one that died!

SAM and MARISHA: You died?

LAURA: Well, I went unconscious.

TRAVIS: Jester went unconscious. Uk'otoa's not awake yet. But I did give up the third Cloven Crystal and that's what they needed to release him.

TALIESIN: You also managed to wake up the entire crew, so you're on a roll! Oh man, you brought all of them!

LIAM: A big shark catches up on the sand.

TALIESIN: Hey!

ASHLEY: Hey!

SAM: It's Caleb Shark!

LAURA: It's Caleb Shark!

ASHLEY: Ooh, good to see you.

LIAM: (groans)

LAURA: You are not-- There you are.

LIAM: Sorry, I tried to get us here faster. I did my best.

SAM: You did great.

LAURA: Hug. Hug.

TALIESIN: You should have just teleported not into the water. You just look terrible.

MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: It's okay. It's unavoidable, I assume. Was it unavoidable?

TALIESIN: It was pretty unavoidable.

LAURA: It was pretty unavoidable.

MARISHA: I mean, to Veth's point, I'm surprised this hasn't happened sooner, so.

LIAM: Do you want to give us the play by play now that it's not under 25 words?

TRAVIS: Yes. We were out at sea and the sky started to turn, I saw a vision of Uk'otoa, and he said, "I found you." Then a giant storm giant crested over the side of our ship along with seven sea people and knocked Jester unconscious, gave Kingsley what for, and almost took us to an early grave. In a moment of panic, I took out the orb so it would stop killing us and gave it over.

SAM: And now there is a brewing supernatural force that could affect the entire world. And no one knows about this but us, and we are the only ones who can stop it? I mean, this is our thing. If we succeed, no one will know what we've done. If we fail, the world will end? This is what we do!

MARISHA: This is what we're good at!

LAURA: That's what we're good at!

MARISHA: The heroes no one asked for, yes!

SAM: Come on! This is a proble-tunity.

TALIESIN: How did you people ever kill me? This is really ridiculous, all of you.

TRAVIS: It is.

LIAM: Yeah, okay so--

LAURA: To be fair, you're much cooler now.

TALIESIN: I would hope so. Thank you.

LIAM: Fjord, how do we do this?

TRAVIS: I've been thinking about that up until the moment you arrived. I have no idea. I don't know where they're going. I don't know where the third location of the lock is.

SAM: I thought you knew all of them.

LAURA: Yeah, I thought we knew.

TRAVIS: No.

SAM: What do you mean?

TRAVIS: No, I saw a vision once, and I have a vague idea of an area that could or could be anywhere on any map.

LAURA: Wasn't there a vision of an area between the mountains or something?

TRAVIS: Mm-hmm. Some jungle and stuff like that.

MATT: What you do recall, the visions of the third temple were in a heavy jungle realm behind three lights.

SAM: Three lights.

MARISHA: Behind three lights.

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: So that's good! Then it's not in the water! I thought we had to go underwater to fight them.

TRAVIS: Nope.

LAURA: That means they have to get all of their forces out of the water to the jungle, too. So really the fact that we can teleport means we may beat them!

SAM: Describe it to us as vividly as you can. Maybe even show it to us with some sort of illusory spell. We have all of our combined knowledge plus that of Kingsley.

LAURA: Three lights. Three lights.

SAM: Maybe we can figure it out.

ASHLEY: What does that mean?

TRAVIS: Sure, I'll use Major Image to conjure a version of my dream. Yep. Cast. Three lights in a jungle area.

MATT: The lights are not in a jungle. It is a very blurred rapid movement and you see like three lights spread out. As you rush to pass them, you hit jungle. Then through the jungle you see a ruin. That's the last of the vision.

TRAVIS: Three lights spread out, and as you rush past them--

LAURA: There's a jungle.

SAM: But we don't know what the source of the light is? Is it a torch light? A volcano light?

MATT: The vision was unspecific.

SAM: Does it jog anything for anyone?

LAURA: How many major lighthouses are on the Nicodranas-- or on the coastline?

MATT: The coastline? I mean, there are a number of cities that are coastal. There are some that are just-- Like, there's Port Zoon and Nicodranas, both are cities that are coastal with lighthouses that are nearest to where you are.

LAURA: But I know the Wildmother is at Nicodranas, right?

MATT: Correct, yeah.

LAURA: Do any of the other cities have a Wildmother lighthouse?

MATT: You have not been to Port Zoon, but as far as you know, they have a lighthouse, as it is a port city, a coastal city. The other port city is Port Damali, but that's quite a ways to the west of there. That has a lighthouse as well.

SAM: That's three.

LIAM: I just gave a speech to a classroom of students talking about how important history was. Does this ring any bells from all my reading?

MATT: Roll a history check.

LIAM: Yeah, that'll do. That's a 30.

MATT: It's a 30. I mean, there are many cities up along the coast of the Menagerie Coast. Cities themselves tend to be the points of visual reference when traveling along a darkened coast in which the horizon itself is pitch black against the ocean, especially when the moon is not in the sky. So whether or not-- Port cities would be the only ones that have a lighthouse, but all cities themselves are themselves a beacon in the dark.

MARISHA: Any notable jungles that would house the temple ruin?

MATT: There are a number of jungles and forests along the Menagerie Coast.

MARISHA: But from his memory, anything that would strike my memory?

MATT: You've not traveled much along the Menagerie Coast, I would say. Beyond a few of the port cities in Nicodranas you've been, this would be a map looking perspective, if that's what you're looking to see.

TALIESIN: Would Grim Psychometry, I think I'm probably pronouncing that, I'm pretty sure I'm pronouncing that wrong.

MATT: Grim Psychometry?

TALIESIN: Psychometry, thank you. My god. I've never had to say it before. Would that be something, considering I just saw all this happen that maybe there's, just because I have had some weird side-wise psychic connection to some of this stuff before. Would this be a roll that would make sense?

MATT: It would, if you had an object or location that you were at to read the sense around it.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: It's less about knowledge and more about feeling the history around a specific location or object.

TALIESIN: I was curious if the vision would count as an object, but that's--

MATT: Technically, it would not.

TALIESIN: Yeah, that's fair.

TRAVIS: There don't seem to be any islands that are a collection of three islands, Bisaft Isle has four, the Gravid Archipelago... Arch-ipelago? Archipelago has three.

SAM: But it doesn't sound like it even needs to be an island, right?

TRAVIS: No, I'm just looking for threes.

TALIESIN: I mean, I know what I would do.

SAM: I would hate to delay us any further, but is this something that the Cobalt Reserve would have knowledge of? Books that you all could do your book diving?

MARISHA: We can hit the books, but it might take some time, especially with everything so vague. I was actually going to inquire how your relationship has been with the Wildmother here lately.

TRAVIS: Pretty fucking vacant, actually.

MARISHA: That bitch.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: Fjord, since you have been looking at the map, I'd like you to make an investigation check for me.

MARISHA: Come on! come on.

TRAVIS: That's cocked.

MARISHA: Come on!

TRAVIS: Natural 19.

SAM and LAURA: Ooh!

SAM: Seems strong.

TRAVIS: 27.

MATT: 27?

TRAVIS: Bussin'.

MATT: Glancing across the map and based on the conversation you've heard, various lights of threes, things that could represent lights, lighthouses, cities, there are three cities fairly close to each other, two along the coast and one to the north of Port Zoon, that can be three lights clustered. Then a little ways north of that little trio of lights looks to be a jungle referred to as the Cyrios End Forest.

TRAVIS: Mm. Mm. Mm. (laughter)

SAM: We're being told what to look for on the map.

MATT: The three lights being Port Zoon--

TRAVIS: There's Cyrios Mountains.

TRAVIS: But that's all the way down here.

MARISHA: Wait, what? Where? It's in Cyrios Mountains or the jungle?

MATT: The jungle. The Cyrios End Forest is what it's referred to as.

MARISHA: Cyrios End Forest.

TRAVIS: Can you see Cyrios End Forest?

MATT: There's Port Zoon.

TRAVIS: I see Port Zoon.

MARISHA: I see that.

TRAVIS: Nicodranas, Port Zoon, Feolinn?

MATT: Feolinn is another city, yes.

TRAVIS: And then Port Damali, and then--

MATT: Or Nicodranas is also another city.

TRAVIS: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. (laughter)

MARISHA: (whispers) It's not written on. It's not written on the map.

MATT: That's not written on the map. That's-- I'm sitting here like trying to point you that direction.

SAM: The game's over, everybody.

TRAVIS: The Plum Groves? Or the--

MATT: No, no, no. It-- Uh. Hmm. (laughter)

MATT: It's been a while since we looked at that map.

SAM: ♪ It's been a while ♪

MATT: It's in the Explorer's Guide to Wildemount.

TRAVIS: Oh!

MATT: That's on me.

TRAVIS: I bet that's on a different map of Wildemount, right?

MATT: That's all good. So what you see here, just north of Nicodranas, east of Feolinn, and northeast of Port Zoon, that cluster of jungle. That meets the-- right there.

MARISHA: That?

TRAVIS: This little armpit right here?

MATT: Yep, that is referred to as the Cyrios End Forest.

TRAVIS: See, I thought it was over here.

MATT: Sorry.

TRAVIS: That was a--

MATT: My apologies, that's on me.

SAM: I would like to apologize.

MATT: I apologize.

TRAVIS: Well, we could check out this nondescript patch of forest on the map.

SAM: The one with no name written on it?

TRAVIS: Yeah, I have a feeling.

ASHLEY: I feel good about that.

SAM: It can't be important, no one bothered to mark it!

ASHLEY: That's exactly why we would go!

TALIESIN: Some would say suspicious.

SAM: Yes. Its silence is deafening.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we're here, we're right here. To be fair, I thought it was over here, this side.

LIAM: Hold on, Fjord, I'll come look over your shoulder, around the fire to see what is around there.

SAM: Oh, someone's showing off his pants. (laughter)

LIAM: My time pants!

SAM: Oh, excuse me!

ASHLEY: This old suit?

TRAVIS: Your what?

LIAM: Don't worry about it.

SAM: How do we get there, Fjord? How do we get the-- Can we row a boat? Can we steal a boat? Can we buy a boat?

TRAVIS: Kingsley has a boat.

TALIESIN: Well, I do have a boat, that's true. This is the first proper usage of that word that I've heard in 48 hours.

SAM: Can it make the journey? How far is the journey?

TALIESIN: It can make the journey to a proper ship. We need a proper ship, if we're doing this.

LAURA: How close is Nicodranas?

TRAVIS: We need a proper ship!

SAM: Oh yeah, is it close to Nicky?

TRAVIS: No, it's a day from Port Zoon, at least, I think.

TALIESIN: How far are from we from Darktow?

LAURA: And it's definitely--

TRAVIS: Much, much further away, four days.

LAURA: A ship journey, not an on-foot sort of journey?

TRAVIS: From Port Zoon?

SAM: From Nicodranas?

TRAVIS: It's a little further from Nicodranas than it is Port Zoon, but it's on foot once we get to Nicodranas.

MARISHA: Wait, why can't we just Teleport?

SAM: We can just go to Nicodranas instantly.

LIAM: We can just go to Nicodranas easily.

TRAVIS: I thought you could only take a limited number of people with you to Nicodranas?

LAURA: Well, I can only take five, including me. Five.

LIAM: But I could take the rest.

LAURA: That's true.

TRAVIS: Oh, great!

LAURA: Or you could-- Can you not take all of us?

TRAVIS: The crew. I didn't want to leave the crew. It's real shitty to leave the crew.

LAURA: But at least we know this place isn't deserted! I saw like there's a village right over there.

SAM: There's a Shakey's.

TRAVIS: That's true, that's true, that's true. Orly, Orly!

TALIESIN: Got some Skee-Ball playing.

MATT: "(heavy breathing) Yes, captain?"

TRAVIS: Here's a hundred gold.

MATT: "Oh!"

TRAVIS: Hopefully, you'll be able to--

MARISHA: Hi, Orly!

TRAVIS: -- manage. You remember these fuckups?

MATT: "Good to see y'all, been a while."

TRAVIS: We're going to try and prevent the end of the world. No telling how that will go, but just in case anyone does take coin over there, do you think you'll be all right?

MATT: "I think we'll be all right."

MATT: All right, here's a hundred gold.

MATT: "Oh, thank you, Captain."

TRAVIS: Eat well, treat yourself. Make sure no one comes down with, you know, dysentery. We'll be back! No, we won't.

SAM: Nope, never again.

TRAVIS: Yeah, well, we'll find you.

MATT: "All right, hmm."

MARISHA: I do think we have to, like, sleep, though, if he's going to--

LIAM: Well, no, I actually could get all of us, including the crew, to Nicodranas. We would have to go into Yussa's tower, so we would be arriving unannounced, but it'll work.

LAURA: I could Send him a message.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LIAM: We could warn him for a first time, yeah.

MARISHA: Have you kept in contact with Yussa?

LIAM: A little bit.

LAURA: I have! I call him every once in a while!

MARISHA: Oh, really?

LAURA: Yeah!

MARISHA: Oh wow. How how does that go?

LAURA: It goes, you know, he doesn't always answer me, but sometimes he does. I can call him. I'm going to Send him a message.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Yussa! We're going to be coming through your tower with a whole bunch of people, but don't worry, we're going to go right out. The minute we come in, straight down! Is that okay? Don't answer if it's not.

MATT: "Hello, Jester, it has been some time, I am sleeping. Sure, whatever."

TRAVIS: Thumbs up, green light?

LAURA: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

LIAM: Okay. I'll find the largest flat stone I can and begin to draw a chalk circle on it, so I can do Teleportation Circle.

MATT: Roll an investigation check or perception check for me, your choice.

LIAM: I will do investigation because that's much better. That is 28.

MATT: 28. Now just past the beach, you do get to some rather root-filled and earthy portions of this outer island. But you do manage to find one section of rock, that while it is imperfect, is large enough to house a hopefully--

LIAM: Working.

MATT: -- functional circle of teleportation, so yes.

LIAM: So I go through the process, knock away crab every once in a while. Get away, get away, get away. Finish it up, all right, I'm about to finish this. Do we want to bring the crew and everyone over here?

LAURA: Oh yes.

TALIESIN: That'd be appropriate.

LAURA: Yeah, I go and wake everybody up. Caleb is making a circle so we can get back to Nicodranas, so you don't have to stay here, if you want to not stay here, come over to the circle! Wake up!

MATT: Everyone gathers their stuff. (grumbles)

MARISHA: Oh, we can just bring everybody? Cool, okay.

LIAM: Okay, but everyone has to run in really fast. So why don't we get into like a line and once I do this, everybody run, okay?

MARISHA: Flying V, flying V!

MATT: "Okay, I'll go first," Marius steps forward.

LIAM: *Drei, zwei, eins.** (whooshes)

MATT: The circle immediately immolates with arcane energy and one by one, you all start jumping through, emerging into the Tidepeak Tower in Nicodranas. The room immediately fills up, the breadth of it, just large enough to comfortably fit everybody who travels through, yourselves and the rest of the crew all shoulder to shoulder as you stand there and there you see just around the corner as the door opens, the visage of a small goblin fellow with a long night cap that dangles almost to the ground and a little night shirt over it. Wensforth.

MARISHA: Wensforth!

MATT: As he stands, he turns and goes, "Oh, hello. Ah, I was just notified of your arrival. The master wishes not to be disturbed, but I will rapidly lead you to the exit."

LIAM: We wish not to disturb the master, thank you.

MATT: "Of course," and he reaches over and grabs his little candle, or it looks like a candle, but at the top it's just this small orange orb that flickers and glows to emit the type of light without actually burning the wax.

LIAM: Orly, I think you have to go first, you're sort of the cork in this bottle.

MATT: (Wensforth) "Yes, yes, this way." He leads you all out into the street. The door opens and you exit from the very well furnished and familiar interior of the Tidepeak Tower. You all come out into the still dark, slow, slow rising morning of the next following day. The bit of sunlight now just cracking over the horizon. The door behind you, as you all exit, Wensforth gives a wave. "Hello, I am also going to sleep, so whatever you're doing, good luck and goodbye." (slamming) (door locking)

TALIESIN: A strange little person.

LIAM: We got your back faster than anticipated.

SAM: I know, should I go home or no? We got to keep going, right?

TALIESIN: This is your, this is?

LAURA: Yeah, me and Fjord have a place if you guys want to stay there for the night or the morning?

TRAVIS: Yes. I don't know if we have room for everyone.

LAURA: Well, they can sort of lay on the couches and we have those two chairs.

SAM: I've got a whole camp with cabins.

ASHLEY: We're easy.

TALIESIN: Well, there's a whole crew--

ASHLEY: The rug, the floor. That's fine.

TALIESIN: -- as well.

MARISHA: The camp?

SAM: We have a whole camp with cabins.

MATT: "I don't take up too much m-m-room."

MARISHA: Are there kids in the camp? Because I don't like kids.

SAM: There are kids, yes.

MARISHA: No, no.

SAM: But there's not very many of them. We would outnumber them.

TALIESIN: I think it would be appropriate, if you don't mind, to get the rest of the crew, maybe, somewhere to sleep, somewhere nice somewhere, the nicest place in town.

SAM: They can sleep at the camp.

TALIESIN: The nicest place in town? For the crew?

LAURA: Well, I mean, they can stay at the Lavish Chateau, if there's room. I don't know if there's plenty of room at the Lavish Chateau.

TALIESIN: Well, if there's room, it would only be appropriate. They did almost drown.

LAURA: They've almost drowned several times with us. Let's be real. But yes. You guys go to the Lavish Chateau and tell them that Jester sent you.

MATT: "That sound about around what we are willing to do tonight, crew?" As he jingles the 100 gold in his hand and the rest of the crew gather up and nod and Marius is like, "Oh goodness. It's been a while since I've been to such a fantastic establishment. That would be wonderful. Thank you. I can handle the face man aspect of our arrival, if you don't mind, Orly." Orly just clutches it and goes, "Mm. Ain't no face prettier than mine." (laughter) He begins to tortle waddle his way in the direction of the Opal Archways, towards the Lavish Chateau.

MARISHA: How is your mom, Jester?

LAURA: She's good. She's really good. Yeah.

MARISHA: That's great.

LAURA: I think she's really liked having me and Fjord around every once in a while, you know, more.

ASHLEY: How's it going with your mom and The Gentleman?

MARISHA: Are they still together?

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah! No, they're, yeah! It's, you know.

MARISHA: Has it been weird having your dad around?

LAURA: I mean, he's not there all the time, you know? But yeah. We're not there all the time. We really have only seen him a couple times.

MARISHA: And Veth, are you still laundering his money?

LAURA: Wait, you're what?

ASHLEY: Oh that's right!

MARISHA: Oh, was I not supposed to say that?

SAM: I mean...

LIAM: So imminent doom, *ja**?

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: Do we have time to sleep? I will be in a lot of trouble if I don't sleep before we go and face Uk'otoa.

SAM: (whispers) Uk'otoa.

TRAVIS: We have to sleep.

LIAM: I think we should. I know that we're pressed for time, but I'm pretty depleted.

SAM: Great!

LAURA: Come to our house! Or Veth's house, or the cabins.

SAM: No, no, no. Whatever you want. We'll go to your house.

LAURA: That's really great, you guys!

SAM: Yeah, let's do it!

LAURA: Come on!

SAM: We're doing it!

MARISHA: Okay.

LAURA: We're going to our house.

TALIESIN: It's very exciting.

LAURA: It's just to sleep, you know? You can lay down on the ground.

TALIESIN: The house never sleeps.

ASHLEY: We've slept in some wild places, you know?

SAM: Fine.

ASHLEY: This is a roof over our head. This is great!

LAURA: Yeah!

TALIESIN: The house doesn't sleep.

SAM: Go to your house.

LAURA: ♪ Lead the way to our place ♪

TALIESIN: It's going to be a lot.

MATT: As the sun rises in the early morning, you arrive on the outskirts of Jester and Fjord's abode. What do they see as they arrive?

LAURA: They see a bunch of potted plants stuck outside, some of them half-dead. (laughter)

LAURA: But there's vines painted up on the side of the house, so it looks like they're growing out of the pots, even though they're not, really. All sorts of different colors.

TRAVIS: All sorts of different colors.

LAURA: Lots of different colors. A little fence that we are building, that's trying to look like a white picket fence, but it's falling down a little bit. And a blue turquoise door.

SAM: But what about the house itself? Is it large? Small?

LAURA: Well, it's less like a house and more like one sort of shed-y sort of room. It's big. It's a big one. It's a big room, you know?

TRAVIS: It's a studio.

LAURA: It's a studio!

MARISHA: Open concept.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LIAM: Studio apartment.

LAURA: You come in--

ASHLEY: Very modern.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LAURA: It's right underneath the water tower, you know?

ASHLEY: Cool.

TRAVIS: We decluttered a lot of the equipment that was kept there before we changed out the flooring.

SAM: They have a water tower?

ASHLEY: That is cool.

TRAVIS: What?

SAM: You live in a water tower?

TRAVIS: No, no. Below the water tower.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Below.

LAURA: But that would be really cool. That's the dream, right, is to get that place.

MARISHA: Yeah. Can you guys climb the water tower? Do you ever climb it and watch the sunset?

LAURA: Yeah! We do.

MARISHA: That's cool.

TRAVIS: Yeah. That's good viewing up there.

MARISHA: That's romantic.

LAURA: It is super romantic.

MARISHA: Wow!

TALIESIN: It's nice to know that you can actually drown like you would on a ship if something goes wrong, even when you're on dry land. I think that's very romantic of you. Either way, you end up in the sea.

TRAVIS: That's true.

TALIESIN: It's like the Sea of Damocles.

LAURA: Anyway, come inside, you guys! Come inside! Come inside!

SAM: Yeah, we'd love to check it out.

MATT: "I'm going to call the center of the room."

LAURA: Oh wow, I guess Orly's coming with us.

TRAVIS: I thought you were going to the Lavish Chateau.

MATT: "Oh." (laughter)

MARISHA: Orly just followed.

TRAVIS: Orly, get the fuck out of here! (laughter)

TRAVIS: Just go! (laughter)

MATT: You look behind and all the crew has followed him and he's like-- (laughter)

MATT: "I got lost." (laughter)

MATT: They all turn around and head back through the city.

SAM: He only navigates on the sea! (laughter)

MATT: You spread out amongst the wide space of the chamber, as comfortable as it is amongst the scattered furniture. You do manage to get yourself a long rest--

SAM: Oh, thank you.

MATT: -- for the night.

SAM: Long rest, recover hit points.

MATT: With that, you all eventually come to consciousness in the early afternoon, some of you more exhausted and physically strained than others, but the day is now yours. What do you wish to do?

ASHLEY: I'm glad you have those blackout curtains.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: Oh yeah. Me too. Well, yeah, we kept sleeping in so much that it made sense.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: What are you doing? You spritzing your plants?

LAURA: No, I'm playing with Sprinkle's paws.

SAM: Oh. (laughter)

LAURA: He's awake.

ASHLEY: Aw! Sprinkle!

SAM: He's awake? How can you tell?

ASHLEY: Hello! (laughter)

TALIESIN: It's the shaking and shivering.

LAURA: Yeah, he missed you guys!

TALIESIN: Yeah, nope. Nope.

LAURA: He missed you!

ASHLEY: Such a sweet-- Such a sweet, sweet.

MARISHA: He's gained a little weight.

LAURA: I know! I know!

MARISHA: He doesn't look so--

LAURA: He's been living it up!

MARISHA: Yeah, he's not so emaciated.

ASHLEY: A little portly?

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: (Sprinkle) We just don't die. (laughter)

TRAVIS: (Sprinkle) I thought that was it. (laughter)

LAURA: Okay, so. We're here, we're awake. Now--

SAM: Can we teleport there?

LIAM: I've never been there, so that's a real roll of the dice to do that.

TRAVIS: Yep. Yep.

LAURA: I run out of the house while everybody's making plans.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I go to the closest bakery and buy everybody the cinnamon pastries that are so good that you guys need to get.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: Okay. Okay. Easy enough to do.

LAURA: Yeah.

LAURA: And then run back.

MATT: For the whole batch for everybody here, it would be, we'll say nine silver.

SAM: 200.

LAURA: Great!

SAM: So--

MATT: I'll say eight silver because they gave you a discount because you're from here.

SAM: So it's risky to teleport. How many days travel would it be on foot or horse?

MATT: On foot, you're looking at about three days on foot. On horse, about one and a half to two.

SAM: (groans)

TRAVIS: Horse it is, unless we can fly somehow.

LAURA: Can you teleport us, Caleb?

TRAVIS: No, he said it was risky.

LIAM: I can, but I have never been there. Do you know how it really got--

LAURA: Oh, we could end up in a tree or something?

LIAM: We got a little hurt coming to you--

SAM: A little hurt's okay.

LIAM: -- and ended up in the ocean. So we could end up 200 feet in the air or stuck halfway into the mountain side, if you're unlucky. (chuckles weakly)

MARISHA: Could be worth the gamble. Time is of the essence.

LAURA: Is there any way I could like boost your ability to get there better?

TALIESIN: Or if any of you know somebody who can help, maybe? Perhaps?

TRAVIS: What are you hinting at, Kingsley? (laughs)

TALIESIN: Clearly--

ASHLEY: Maybe Essek or something? I don't know. Does he?

LIAM: The only way we could up-- Well, I don't know if he's been there or not. We could fly, Jester. We could fly us all.

LAURA: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah!

LIAM: That's a lot of us, though.

LAURA: Turn both of us and one other person, right?

LIAM: Yeah.

SAM: Into giant things that fly?

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

MARISHA: We've done this before and it worked.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: How did it work? Oh, Caduceus, right? Fuck.

TRAVIS: I could do it, too.

MARISHA: You can do it, too?

SAM: You can what? You can turn into a giant flying thing?

TRAVIS: Yes. I've really done it only for large swimming things, but I'm sure the flying part would work as well.

SAM: There you go! We got three flying things!

LAURA: That's great!

LIAM: Okay, well that would cut down on three days of travel. It might get us down to one or one and a half, I think.

SAM: Great! That seems like the best.

LIAM: Or it would be a coin flip. It's almost a 50% chance that it would go south.

SAM: But how south? Like dead south, or just like, ow! But we're okay.

LIAM: There would be a bit of a mishap, probably.

MARISHA: You don't seem confident in the teleportation thing.

SAM: You're such a good wizard! You're so smart! I think you could do it.

LIAM: Yeah, I'm smart enough to avoid adverse risk. (sighs)

TRAVIS: They have a tremendous lead on us. I don't want to force anyone into making a hasty decision, but if we could catch up a day, it'd probably help us.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: It might be worth it.

SAM: I mean, this is your thing, Fjord. What would you rather do, risk the port or go for the fly?

LIAM: We're risking the entire Menagerie Coast if we don't stop this from happening. Yeah?

TRAVIS: Yep.

LIAM: So maybe it's worth the risk?

LIAM: Yep.

LAURA: I am going to--

SAM: Ooh, yeah.

LAURA: Mm, I don't want to waste that now.

SAM: Do you have any of those motes of possibility or anything that could help?

MATT: Unfortunately, for this particular roll--

LIAM: It has no bearing.

SAM: Okay.

MARISHA: I mean, I could theoretically try and get more information. Eh, nah, that's going to take too long.

SAM: That's bullshit! Let's just do it!

TALIESIN: Hate chance. I don't like chance. I'm just putting it out there.

MARISHA: You don't like chance?

TALIESIN: I don't.

MARISHA: Since when? That's a weird new you thing.

TALIESIN: Oh, there's a lot of new me.

LAURA: There's a lot of new him.

TALIESIN: That's true.

MARISHA: Is it? Wow!

TRAVIS: He has a boat-in-a-box.

TALIESIN: I'm so excited! This is actually for shenanigans. I've been hearing about this for ages. I've just got to see if any of what she said is true.

LAURA: It's all true.

TALIESIN: God. They are a *mess**!

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: So excited!

ASHLEY: We can't... A boat is out of the option, right?

TRAVIS: A boat?

ASHLEY: A boat. A ship.

TRAVIS: We're on land and we're just going more into land.

ASHLEY: We're on land. That's right. There's no water.

LAURA: If we got in a boat, we would just stay here.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I understand. For some reason, I thought there was a water journey.

TALIESIN: Is there an airship port in this town?

MATT: In Nicodranas? No. Port Damali, there is a sky port.

TRAVIS: Much further the north.

MARISHA: But okay. To Yasha's point, though, you said that the people--

SAM: Could we sail there?

MARISHA: The people who were (nonsensical vocalizations), the people who attacked you were all sea people.

TALIESIN: Mm.

TRAVIS: Yes.

LAURA: Yes.

MARISHA: But you're sure that they're going to be ahead of us?

TRAVIS: They moved throughout the night in their favored terrain and probably did not stop.

MARISHA: But then, can they-- I guess they could walk on water, on land.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: Or on land.

TRAVIS: Or have things that help them.

LAURA: Plus, they have a giant.

TRAVIS: Also, may not have slept or rested.

MARISHA: A giant walking through the coast--

LAURA: I'm going to sit down on the ground. The floor's covered in shit. I'm going to get some of my little figurines and set that up around me and I'm going to Scry on that--

MATT: Okay!

ASHLEY: (gasps)

MATT: All righty!

LAURA: Fancy one.

MATT: On which one? Which fancy one?

TRAVIS: The mage or the giant?

ASHLEY: Big boy?

LAURA: I'm not going to Scry on the giant because--

SAM: You touched one of them.

LAURA: Well, I did, but I saw all of them.

SAM: Okay.

MARISHA: Yeah, the mage. That's a good idea.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: On the mage?

LAURA: The mage might be more likely to block it.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Depends. You tell me.

MARISHA: True, too. That's true.

TALIESIN: The mage will be there, though. There's no saying if--

LAURA: Yeah, that's true. I'm going to try, I'm going to do the mage because I know that that one will probably be going.

MATT: Okay. What's the spell DC?

LAURA: 19.

MATT: 19. As you sit, your figurines placed out around you with Sprinkle curled up in your lap, as you begin to concentrate. As you close your eyes, you focus on that terrifying face. The rain battered against this dull gray, almost rubbery flesh exterior. The jaw hanging open, the multitude rows of teeth exposed within, the pale eyes looking down at you. As you reach into yourself to gather the spell, little voice whispers in your ear, "Well, it looks like you've gotten yourself into some more trouble, have you?"

LAURA: (whispers) Yeah. It's not good.

MATT: "Well, who would I be to deny you such a journey?"

SAM: Yeah!

MATT: You feel the hands of Artagan on yours, say, "Open your eyes. See if this helps." These fingers flick your eyelids open.

LAURA: Ow!

MATT: As you glance forward, you see here in the mid-afternoon sun, the figure wrapped in a tattered cloth, a hood clutched underneath his head, like this, with one arm and the other hanging at the side, pushing through bushes and across a raggedy looking hill-ish field, keeping low and seeming to be not enjoying the bright sunlight. Roll a perception check for me.

LAURA: 19.

SAM: Nice!

MATT: 19. You can see in its left hand, which hangs to its side, clutching in its fist is the same glowing, yellow, Cloven Crystal and it keeps it like near its side, almost like it's holding it like a precious object. You also pick up the sound (impacting footstep rumbles) Glancing past the blurry radius of the Scry spell's capabilities, you can see the looming shadow, a massive humanoid.

LAURA: (whispers) Wow!

MATT: It was crouched a little low and also large strides. (impacting rumbles) It scoops up the mage figure, places him onto his shoulder and looks back towards it. "Now?" The mage opens his other hand. "Keep going!" (rumbling footsteps) You can just barely, with that roll, you can make out other shadows following in its path. But it is out in the open of a hillside.

LAURA: No water to be seen that I could see?

MATT: No water to be seen.

LAURA: Okay. Okay. It was shrubs, bushes or was it like jungle-y looking trees?

MATT: Shrubs and bushes. Rough coastal land.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: So not quite in the jungle.

LAURA: Okay. Well, they're on land, but they're not in the jungle yet. They have the giant with them, though. That sucks.

MARISHA: What was the landscape?

LAURA: It was hilly and rocky and shrubbery, but I didn't see the ocean anymore. But I think... Does that sound familiar to me? Anywhere that I would know?

MATT: Mm. Not really. You haven't seen much outside of Nicodranas that wasn't part of the Dwendalian Empire and beyond. You haven't really traveled the coastal roads outside of the city.

LAURA: Yeah. I did go down to Port Damali.

MATT: You did. Hmm.

TRAVIS: Up to.

MATT: Up to, you mean, up that journey, that way.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Nothing within the small radius of the Scry spell was indicative of any major milestones or any sort of landmarks that would've caught your attention memory.

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: Well, we know they haven't hit jungle. That's good.

LAURA: That's really good.

MARISHA: You still feeling confident about this, Caleb?

LIAM: It's a big risk, but we are up against the wall.

LAURA: What's the closest place you know of to that jungle that you have seen?

LIAM: We are there.

LAURA: Oh. Okay.

TALIESIN: Not that I want to encourage this, but is there any way to get the idea out of your head, into his head, what it looked like?

LAURA: Not that I know of.

TRAVIS: Well, the Gilded Roadway, we've both been on before and I could remember the part where the forest was off to the northern edge of the road, but won't be *in** the forest, just at the beginning of it.

LIAM: Can I see the map?

LAURA: Something.

MARISHA: Do a little half and half?

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: How far of a travel would it be from there?

LIAM: We get down from...

TRAVIS: Half a day into the middle of the forest, if it's in the middle.

LAURA: The jungle?

LIAM: And it's in here?

TALIESIN: That doesn't seem too bad.

ASHLEY: Doesn't seem too bad.

LIAM: So we came down to the Wuyun Gate.

TRAVIS: Yeah, and I've been here.

LIAM: That's where we hit Nicodranas.

MARISHA: Yeah, and to his point, I think we've all gone through the Gilded--

TRAVIS: I think this is where we're going ish.

MARISHA: -- through the Gilded Roadway.

LIAM: What did we go on the Gilded Roadway for?

LAURA: When we passed through Nicodranas up back into--

TRAVIS: Port Damali?

MARISHA: Heading to--

LIAM: Yeah, but the other side, not the side-- Nicodranas is here, right?

MARISHA: This side would have us crossing some mountains.

MATT: I would say when you guys went to Port Damali you-- When you went there you teleported via the teleportation circle at the Library of the Cobalt Soul.

LAURA: Right.

TRAVIS: I just meant you and I.

LAURA: Yeah, we used the--

MATT: The two of you have traveled up in that space to get to the road. No one else has been.

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: I always tell my campers, you never know until you go. I will tell them that once camp starts. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Wild out!

SAM: I think we should just go for it.

LAURA: You can show him--

MARISHA: Here you think? And then cut through?

LAURA: -- what it looks like, right?

LIAM: The face.

MARISHA: I know. That sucks.

TRAVIS: So I'll Minor Illusion to show you the roadway, the Gilded Roadway at the southern edge of that forest.

LIAM: What about if we go halfsies. Here, I'm going to take this. We travel through the Wuyun Gate. What if we travel to the center of the Wuyun Gate, which I can get us to no problem, and then we fly over--?

MARISHA: Over the mountains?

LIAM: Over the mountains.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: That would be quite a bit quicker.

LAURA: Yeah, let's do it.

LIAM: Maybe a day. Does that add up to you?

SAM: Great.

MATT: That could likely work, yeah.

LIAM: Okay, yeah. Center of the Wuyun Gate, and then we eagle it up. And we can search. Yeah, that's our plan.

TRAVIS: Cool.

TALIESIN: Mm.

MATT: All righty.

LIAM: So many spell slots.

MATT: Do you have your things? Everyone ready to travel?

SAM: We're ready.

ASHLEY: I have my stuff.

MARISHA: Ready.

SAM: I've got my backpack.

LAURA: Got my Sprinkle.

SAM: My sash.

SAM: If we get through this--

LAURA: Oh here!

SAM: -- we all get a survival badge.

LAURA: Everybody have a pastry for in the morning.

MARISHA: Oh, fuck yeah.

LAURA: Be strong for the trip.

TALIESIN: So much better than a potion, excellent.

TRAVIS: What are those?

LAURA: Cinnamon pastry. It's your favorite, Fjord.

TRAVIS: Thank you.

ASHLEY: Oh, these are so good.

TALIESIN: I know they haven't said anything, but I love the hair.

ASHLEY: Well, thank you very much.

LAURA: Oh my gosh. You look so beautiful.

LIAM: (muffled) Are we ready to go?

MARISHA: It really accentuates your--

SAM: We're ready to go!

ASHLEY: I just wanted to give it a chop, yeah. Start fresh.

SAM: Everyone gather near.

LIAM: Hold hands.

ASHLEY: Thank you.

TALIESIN: No, it's-- Oh.

MARISHA: Your hands are sticky.

LAURA: Oh, why are you so sticky?

SAM: Because I've been eating popcorn all night.

TRAVIS: Yeah, that's why.

LAURA: (laughs)

LAURA: You've got to hold his hand.

SAM: Oh, I forgot.

LAURA: (laughs)

LIAM: All right, here we go. *Eins, zwei, drei.**

SAM: No, don't do it! (laughter)

MATT: Like The Fly, the Mighty Nein becomes the Mighty One. (laughter)

MATT: Just a Cronenberg beast. Go ahead and roll a d100 for me, Caleb, please.

SAM: d100.

LIAM: For a place that I've been already?

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: Of course, yeah. You've been there before, which means you have--

LIAM: But there's still a tiny bit of risk.

MATT: Of course. You have seen it casually.

LIAM: I traveled through it!

MATT: That's seeing it casually.

LIAM: We were not casual. We were very tense.

SAM: Just roll the dice. (laughter)

MARISHA: Wait, is this something bad?

LIAM: 94. We're okay.

MATT: 94. You're fine. (laughter)

ASHLEY: It was very stressful, so.

TALIESIN: I don't know if anxiety is really the--

MATT: The difference between-- The next step up is very familiar. So I wouldn't say you're not very familiar with that place you visited once or twice. You traveled it twice.

LIAM: Twice, that's right. I went both ways.

MATT: Yeah. So with that. You all now land, feet touching the dirt and dried grass clotted floor, the bottom of the Wuyun Gorge. The gate, a little ways north of where you can see. But the rocky mountain-scape on both sides of the gorge, rising up and climbing over to the east and west of where you stand.

SAM: Now we're going to do flying?

LIAM: Now we're going to fly, head west, and try to find these fuckers.

SAM: West is always the way we should head.

LIAM: You ready to play our old game, friend?

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: You too this time?

TRAVIS: Yes.

SAM: You going to turn into a sea hawk?

LAURA: Okay, so that's--

TRAVIS: Why would I do that? (laughter)

SAM: Because you're oceany.

LIAM: A big one, please. A big one.

MATT: So what is the order of operations here?

SAM: Ooh, a giant pelican. You can put us in your mouth.

LAURA: I'm going to turn into a giant blue eagle.

MATT: Okay. I'm going to keep some of these just as my basis of understanding here.

SAM: Sure, sure. It's not blue, but okay. (laughter)

TRAVIS: How could you? How could you? (laughter)

MARISHA: Such a douche bag.

LIAM: Execute him!

MATT: I'm keeping tabs. (laughter)

MATT: All right, so we have a blue eagle. Who is Jester carrying on the eagle?

LAURA: I will carry-- I will carry Yasha.

MATT: All right.

ASHLEY: Let's go, girl.

SAM: Bloop.

ASHLEY: (laughs)

SAM: Well, there.

MATT: That's fine. Great. All right, so. Who else is doing what and carrying who?

LIAM: I will use my one transmuter slot, special slot to become a giant amber and brown eagle. I will scoop up Beauregard and Veth.

SAM: Let's go.

MATT: All righty.

LAURA: It's sad that your eagle is so much smaller than my eagle.

LIAM: Is it? Why would it be sad? Is small so bad? I'm still technically a giant eagle.

SAM: Small is beautiful.

LIAM: I mean. (eagle screeching)

MARISHA: Veth, do you want big spoon or little spoon?

SAM: Little. (laughter)

MATT: That leaves Kingsley and Fjord.

TRAVIS: Fjord turns into a giant green eagle, and just leaves Kingsley in the road. (laughter)

TALIESIN: I know where you live, and I'm going to go take all your stuff.

TRAVIS: Turn around and pick him up.

MATT: I don't have a third eagle, so we'll use this chimera.

SAM: Great.

LAURA: Awesome.

MARISHA: He's kind of green, his tail.

MATT: Ish. Okay. So, with that. (wings flap) You all end up taking off, careening up towards the western peaks of the mountain range. As all three of you shoot up, back on the trade roadway that exits the south of Dwendalian Empire there are two trade carts that are heading northward. We see there, briefly, an older gentleman with a sun hat on, glancing up, looking as you all take off and just go, "Fucking hell." You continue your path up, towards the top of the mountain range. The wind picking up a bit. But as practiced flyers, most of you. Some of you a little out practice, maybe. You use those gusts of wind to carry you up before eventually you peek over the top of the Wuyun Gorge Mountains, here at the Cyrios Mountain range. Looking down over it, you now have this incredible view, both of the mountains that surround the Dwendalian Empire to the north, all the grass, and green, and jungles and forests that dapple the coastline, and the distant ocean blue horizon, where you see the various points of islands from this distance just laid out before you. Familiar with the map, but being terrestrial for so long, it's a wonderful, freeing, exciting, exhilarating moment to see this high above these familiar lands below. It's beautiful. There focusing, further to the west and below, you can see the large cluster of old trees that makes the Cyrios End Forest. Begin to shift downward, and head in that direction. How long do these spells last?

LIAM: One hour.

LAURA: One hour.

MATT: One hour.

LIAM: Yep, me too.

MATT: Now looking at all the speeds. Everyone's moving the speed of a giant eagle?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: What is the speed of the giant eagle?

SAM: 500.

LIAM: It's like super sonic. 80 feet.

MATT: 80 feet. Pretty quick, pretty quick. Movement, dash speed. That's quite a bit of distance covered in a short time. Swooping down on the opposite end of the sloping gorge, the Cyrios Mountains now carrying you down towards the valley where this jungled forest resides. The beautiful, soft texture growing more and more dangerous and ominous as you approach.

MARISHA: I'm going to keep an eye out for changing of landscape, breaks in the canopy, any signs of ruins.

LAURA: Yeah, I'm going to keep an eye out for a giant walking around.

TALIESIN: Oh yes.

MATT: You both roll a perception check.

TALIESIN: Can I get in on that as well? Well, we're all on a different--

MATT: You're on a different eagle right now.

LIAM: Oof.

MARISHA: Cool.

LAURA: 17.

MARISHA: Cool story, bro. Six.

MATT: Six, okay. I'll say, since there are different eagles, I'll allow you a roll as well, as you're being held by Fjord and being carried along the way.

TALIESIN: 22.

MATT: 22, better. Looking for the--?

TALIESIN: Looking for our problem people.

MATT: Gotcha, okay. You don't see anything at this distance, not much of an issue. You are having a hard time seeing any break in the canopy. The canopy is pretty dense, fairly solid throughout. You do see a couple of small breaks, but they're definitely more in the outskirts of the jungle. You do see, not far from the southern edge of the jungle, cresting over a hilly valley, a large, dark, humanoid shape stepping, and maybe about half an hour's distance from the edge of the jungle.

TALIESIN: There we are. Right. As we're flying, I will attempt to speak into Fjord's not ear. They're just about to hit the jungle. I found them. When we land, we can tell everybody. Do you understand what I'm saying to you?

SAM: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Do I understand?

MATT: You do.

TRAVIS: Yeah. (eagle cawing) (laughter)

LAURA: Bwak bwak.

ASHLEY: What, what? What did you say? Could we hear you?

MATT: Yeah, different eagle. (chuckles) All right, so. Looking down below, you don't see any particular--

LAURA: We're just going to fly like--

MATT: -- breaks in the canopy that call to you. What's your plan of action? Where are you headed, and what are you planning to do? Now that you've traversed the majority of the mountains, and are about to reach the jungle, what's your plan?

LIAM: I'm looking for a safe place to land, where there are no giants. I think Caleb Eagle is.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: (eagle caws)

MATT: There are all number of places that are relatively safe to land on the outskirts of the eastern side of the jungle that's closest to you.

LIAM: So outside still of?

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: No landing...

MATT: Beau had a hard time finding one. I'd say you can make a perception check as well. But you have to use the perception of the eagle.

MARISHA: Eagle, eagle perception, eagle eyes.

LIAM: 21.

MARISHA: What do your eagle eyes see? Yes.

LIAM: 22. 22, 22.

MARISHA: Legolas shit!

MATT: 22. That's pretty decent.

LIAM: (eagle caws)

MATT: You do see one break that's a short ways in from the eastern side. It's not like a clean break. But you do see where the canopy gets a little thin. It looks like there could be a small, a small opening, maybe a mile or so into the forest. a small opening, maybe a mile or so into the forest.

LIAM: Okay, so I'll just go (eagle caws) and start to veer down in that direction.

MARISHA: What do you see, Caleb Eagle? Ceagle? (hard C) (laughter)

TALIESIN: Oh, I felt it coming from over here. (laughter)

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Hit.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I'm going to follow Ceagle.

MATT: All right.

ASHLEY: I'm putting my fingers in the little scruff under the feathers. I'm just giving her scritches.

LIAM: (eagle caws)

MATT: Are you following suit as well, as the two other eagles (whooshing)?

TRAVIS: Oh yes.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Grab the head, and sort of turn Fjord's head towards everyone else.

TRAVIS: Snap that goddamn arm off. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Keep that fucking hand to yourself. (laughter)

MARISHA: Hook bills.

MATT: All right. As the three multicolored eagles all take off in the direction of this one semi break in the canopy. You rush down and approach. You can see there are a number of thick branches at the top that can probably be latched onto. Though, probably landing comfortably with the size of your eagle is going to be a little challenging but possible, if you'd like to attempt it.

LIAM: I want to give it a go.

MATT: You going to give it a go?

LIAM: I'm going to try.

MATT: All right. I would love for you to make an acrobatics check using the eagle's physical dexterity modifier. Does it have an acrobatic skill?

LIAM: Oh yeah, I got five.

MATT: You got a five?

LIAM: Yeah!

MATT: Okay. Following suit, you watch as Caleb Eagle goes into a comfortable dive.

MARISHA: Easy.

MATT: Wings pick up.

MARISHA: Watch it.

LIAM: (rapid whooshes) (laughter)

MARISHA: You got this.

MATT: (hard impact)

SAM: (screams)

MATT: Crashing into the top branches, you watch as splintered bits of green and brown bark just flying (crashes) into branch after branch. Stopping part way down, you do crash through the canopy. You don't hit the ground, but you do get caught up in clusters of bramble and bush and tree, roughly 15 or 20 feet up, which is about halfway through the height of parts of this jungle. You do, in your eagle form, take 12 points of bludgeoning damage.

LIAM: (eagle caws in pain)

MATT: The rest of you can come to stop on the top of the canopy, unless you wish to continue to push through.

MARISHA: So wanting to avoid this, I launch myself from Ceagle, and monk hop down the tree branches.

MATT: Then you make an acrobatics check for me as well.

MARISHA: I do have my unarmed movement, which means I can do... Dope monk shit!

MATT: Yep.

MARISHA: 18.

MATT: 18. You leap from the back of the eagle, and as you hear it crashing around you, you're Tarzan sliding down the sides of the jungle tree, watching as the eagle crashes down, and is about to hit the tree you're on, and you just leap off to the next one. It almost becomes like a quick time boss moment, as you're dodging the Ceagle as it hits every branch. But without issue, you're one step before it. Where it gets caught up in the tree above you land onto the soft jungle floor.

SAM: Seeing her do that, I'm going to do the same thing.

MATT: All right. (laughter)

LIAM: What a roll!

SAM: Terrible.

MARISHA: Please tell me it goes as well as that roll.

SAM: Acrobatics?

MATT: Acrobatics.

SAM: 30!

LAURA: Whoa.

MATT: (laughs) As you land (slight impact) you feel this pfft on your back as you three-point land on her three-point landing.

LIAM: Wild out. (laughter)

SAM: Wild out.

TALIESIN: This is bullshit. I'm going for it, too.

TRAVIS: Do it, do it.

MATT: Acrobatics check for me.

TALIESIN: Acrobatics.

ASHLEY: Fine, me too.

MATT: (laughs)

LIAM: You guys are flying.

SAM: He's just doing this because.

TALIESIN: Natural 20 for 36.

SAM: (yells) Oh!

SAM: It's a nine-point landing!

LIAM: Squirrel suit out of the sky.

MATT: You feel a three-point landing from Kingsley onto your back.

SAM: Whoa!

LAURA: Onto your back.

ASHLEY: I rolled a 19.

MATT: For a total of?

ASHLEY: For a total of 19.

MATT: Of 19? (laughter)

ASHLEY: That was my total.

MATT: You, thankfully, don't land on the troop, but definitely impact, leaving a small dirt crater in the ground next to them.

MARISHA: Okay. Get off my back, get off my back.

SAM: Yeah, sorry.

TALIESIN: All right, that's fine.

SAM: We are so cool.

MATT: The two eagles. What are you doing?

LAURA: I land on top of the canopy.

TRAVIS: You are?

LAURA: Uh-huh.

TRAVIS: Yeah. How do we get down? (laughter)

TRAVIS: I'm going to go for a landing.

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Just flacka flacka flacka.

MATT: So keeping in your eagle form, you begin to leap from branch to branch to make your way down.

LAURA: Yeah, I want to land on the canopy, and then (eagle caws) wiggle down. (laughter)

MATT: For that, you get the choice of acrobatics or athletics, using the eagle's physical.

LAURA: What am I rolling?

TRAVIS: What are the?

MATT: Athletics or acrobatics. If the skills aren't there, then you can just use--

LAURA: Do you have it out?

LIAM: You have a plus three.

MARISHA: Plus three.

TALIESIN: I'm just so proud of that. I should do it every time.

LAURA: 13!

TRAVIS: What's the-- strength?

LIAM: Plus three. Both plus three.

TRAVIS: 14.

MATT: 14, okay. It takes a moment, but you both gingerly, as eagles, land--

ASHLEY: Oh, what's going on here? That's a weird way to come-- Okay.

MARISHA: Yeah, watch for falling branches.

ASHLEY: Ooh, look at--

MATT: The density of the canopy, and the surrounding forest makes it incapable of flight for any further use of the eagle form. Unless you wish to maintain the hit point boundary that you have with it, it won't be the fastest form of locomotion here.

LIAM: Just long enough to walk around in a limping circle.

LAURA: I know. I kind of just.

MATT: Caleb is still stuck in the tree, by the way.

SAM: Oh. (laughter)

SAM: Come down, Caleb.

LIAM: Ah! (thumps) (laughter)

MATT: Do you transform back when you impact?

LIAM: Yes!

MATT: Boof! Feathers rain down, before magically vanishing at the end of the spell. There you see, in an eagle shaped soft crater next to where you landed, Caleb Widogast sitting up.

LIAM: Oh, I can't tell if my back hurts from the fall, or from Beauregard kegeling me like a vice for the entire trip.

TRAVIS: "Kegeling me."

MARISHA: Sorry, I got a good grip.

TRAVIS: (exasperatedly) Okay. (laughter) (laughter)

MATT: This is a horny episode.

LAURA: Yeah! (laughter)

MATT: And that's saying something. (laughter)

MATT: Anyway.

SAM: On we go. Does anyone have eyes on the giant?

TALIESIN: I saw them where we were.

SAM: Oh, thank god. (laughter)

TALIESIN: My-- All of you.

ASHLEY: Did you see?

TALIESIN: Oh yeah, I saw them when we were up in the sky. They're that way about, how was it, they were mile and a half, two miles away, or--?

MATT: Yeah, they were maybe a half an hour away from--

TALIESIN: That's right.

MATT: -- arriving at the jungle on the southern side. You guys are a little bit inward from the eastern corner or eastern edge.

LAURA: Oh gosh.

TALIESIN: Congratulations, we're doing better.

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So far.

MARISHA: Go, go.

SAM: Yeah, we go. We got to run.

MARISHA: Go where? We don't know-- We're in the middle of the jungle. We don't know where this is.

LIAM: We're on the eastern edge, where we landed, and we know north is that way.

SAM: Because he knows everything.

LIAM: They were going in which direction?

TALIESIN: They were going in the direction that the Dungeon Master was pointing to.

MARISHA: From the south. (pigeon coos) South.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

MARISHA: From the south.

LIAM: From the south,

MATT: They were from the south, heading north.

LIAM: Direct north? Okay. Well, that's that way.

SAM: Well, let's go.

LIAM: We can beat them, hopefully, to wherever they're going.

MARISHA: Well, they're entering from the south side. That doesn't necessarily mean the temple is south from us or north from us.

LIAM: Yeah, yeah. What do we want to try to do? Stop them from reaching the destination?

TALIESIN: We could try and cut them off.

LIAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: Yes.

SAM: At all costs.

TRAVIS: That would be preferable.

LAURA: They have a mage, a giant, and I don't know how many people. It looked like a lot of shadows following the giants.

TRAVIS: At least six others. A half dozen.

LAURA: But, you know, we're pretty powerful all together. We're pretty powerful all together.

SAM: Yes, we're the most powerful. If any of you get poison oak or poison sumac as we're hiking along, tell me. I can try to dress the wound and it would give me good practice to teach my campers.

LAURA: Oh, great!

ASHLEY: How do you fix it? Pee on it or something?

SAM: No, no. You make a balm or a salve.

ASHLEY: Oh.

LAURA: If you want your campers to learn anything about healing in other ways, you know, you could always have a teacher--

SAM: Oh! That's a great idea.

LAURA: -- come and teach them.

SAM: I should call Caduceus.

LAURA: Yeah, probably.

MATT: An odd sensation as the light seems to dim ever so slightly and with what was once a semi-clear sky, a shadow seems to brew overhead.

LAURA: Oh no.

MATT: Then you feel the (light pattering) of the sudden flash rain that begins to drip down from the leaves above.

MARISHA: Wait, did it look like rain when we were flying 10 minutes ago?

MATT: No.

MARISHA: Oh boy.

LAURA: This is them. This is them. This is what they brought before.

MARISHA: This what happened?

LAURA: Uh-huh.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LIAM: Like Charlie Brown.

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: We have to push on.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: We have to push on. There's no choice.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: So.

LIAM: Braun.

MATT: Who is helming the attempt to--

MARISHA: Braun, with a U-N?

MATT: Travel through this jungle? Who is being the navigator, if you will, for the group and guiding the path?

TALIESIN: That would be a--

LAURA: Survival?

TRAVIS: Survival. Don't look at me.

LAURA: I could try.

TRAVIS: My wisdom sucks.

MATT: Jester, you want to guide the group through the jungle?

SAM: Yeah!

LAURA: Sure! I would guide them through the jungle. I totally know where I'm going.

MATT: Great. Make a survival check for me.

TALIESIN: What was I thinking?

LAURA: 20.

MATT: 20, okay, okay. So the rain now bringing a cold and a sogginess to this experience that is immediately fraught with a bit of additional misery that you were hoping not to have to endure. You continue to step through the now progressively muddier and wet interior of this jungle. You can still hear the calls of nearby creatures and insects. The sound of rain makes it a little challenging to hear the approach or footfalls of other indigenous or otherwise creatures. But Jester seems to have a knack for finding the paths of least resistance, and guiding past a few dangerous clusters of local fauna and flora. You do, within a short time, come upon an abandoned camp, left in tatters. Immediately at a glance, you can see it's old, and it looks like it has seen a very violent end before being sundered by the elements. There's aspects of a mostly destroyed tent, There's aspects of a mostly destroyed tent, but bits of the cloth still attached to some broken twigs. You can see what would have been a stone ring for fire and bones.

MARISHA: Can I attempt to discern what left this camp in tatters?

MATT: Make an investigation check, if you'd like.

LIAM: Was it months, years?

MARISHA: How long ago it was?

LAURA: Did the camp get destroyed months ago? Was it an old destruction or a new destruction of an old--

MATT: That would be an investigation check here.

MARISHA: Natural 20.

TRAVIS: Let's go!

ASHLEY: Yes!

MATT: For a total of?

MARISHA: For a total of, hang on--

TRAVIS: Dear god.

MARISHA: Yes. 36. (laughter)

ASHLEY: That is my bitch.

MARISHA: I love you.

MATT: So immediately--

MARISHA: Your love gives me strength. (laughter)

MATT: Immediately, this camp had probably been destroyed at least 50 or so years ago. So depending on your expectations, it could have been much more recent or much older than you expected.

MARISHA: 50 years.

MATT: But the weathering, the decomposition of the canvas, you get the sense that this is within the last century or so. The bones that remain you can see are just bare remnants of much more bones that have been taken and probably eaten, broken, or absconded with other creatures that lived nearby. From what does remain here, you can see marks that represent predatory creatures, predatory beasts, tooth marks, claw marks, and chewed and broken bones with the marrow removed.

MARISHA: Hmm.

MATT: Though the marrow could've been removed by the predator or other creatures that scavenged along the way. It's hard to tell. You do see, within the sundered camp, because you rolled so fucking high, though most of the materials are gone, there is one partially buried satchel that, within, does contain a potion of superior healing.

SAM: Hey!

LAURA: Hey!

MATT: Because that was a fucking 36.

TRAVIS: Damn!

LAURA: Whoa!

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LIAM: Those things keep forever.

MARISHA: I was going to say--

ASHLEY: Woo, big boy.

MARISHA: -- probably a little vinegar-y by now.

SAM: Uh-huh.

MARISHA: But it's still good.

LIAM: Half life is good.

TALIESIN: That little bag of Skittles.

MATT: You also, with a 36, you also find amongst everything here that's been destroyed by the elements, now even further harried by the rain, you find, under one barely dry section of the canvas, it looks like it's been undisturbed for a long time, a hand that is mostly just bone and aspects of shreds of mummified skin and a destroyed, torn apart journal. You go and try and find it and all the paper disintegrates and it's gone. But there are two semi-legible scraps that you pull from underneath.

SAM and LAURA: (gasp)

LAURA: Yes.

SAM: Clues, clues!

LAURA: Yes, yes, yes!

SAM: Clues, clues!

LAURA: Ooh, clues!

SAM: Clues, clues!

LAURA: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

TALIESIN: That's very impressive.

MARISHA: "Taking the less traveled pathways within the depths of the ruin, markings of the sun are a deadly invitation."

LAURA: Markings of the sun.

SAM: It could be the yellow eye?

MARISHA: "Regardless of the seemingly endless sou--," it says, skipping ahead, "seemingly endless source of venomous serpents," fun, "seem to re..." re-something. Ser, something.

LAURA: Oh no.

MARISHA: "-- seraine, nightmarish curse upon the stone itself, dormant as they might be. Light of--"

TRAVIS: M?

MARISHA: "M seems to begin their exodus from hiding. And we know not when they will stop."

TRAVIS: Right. So in the ruins, the sun markings mean danger is near and the light of something will release really--

TRAVIS and MARISHA: -- horrible, venomous serpents.

MARISHA: Yeah, light of--

LAURA: The light of what?

SAM: So, no light?

TRAVIS: "The light of," and it looks like it starts with an M.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: Light of mm.

SAM: So we're not allowed to put light in there? Is that what's going on?

LAURA: The light of the moon. Moonlight!

TRAVIS: "Light of" could be light of moon, but it would seem like it would be light of the moon.

MARISHA: Light of moon? Light of man? Light of--?

TALIESIN: Hm.

MARISHA: Oh, well, pass it around.

SAM: Good investigating, though.

ASHLEY: Very good.

MARISHA: Thanks.

LAURA: These guys, by the way, they did seem like the daylight bothered them when I was Scrying on them. It seemed like they were covered in rags and the daylight was making them uncomfortable.

TALIESIN: Huh.

MARISHA: That's good to know.

TALIESIN: Interesting.

LAURA: Maybe they work better in darkness.

MARISHA: That's good to keep in mind.

MARISHA: All right, well.

SAM: Press on?

MARISHA: Press on.

TRAVIS: Yep.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Watch out for venomous creatures.

MATT: Pushing on to the next length of your journey, heading deeper into the jungle, who is helming this next leg of the journey?

LIAM: I'll give it a go.

MATT: All right. Make a survival check for me.

LIAM: All right. 19.

SAM: Ooh.

MATT: 19. Very good. Continuing to push on deeper and deeper, the pathways that seemed like a semi-natural conscious choice between the ever-growing dense clusters of trunks and gnarled roots become harder and harder to find, and you find yourself now climbing at times over these trees that reach outward and knot and tether their root systems together. The soft compost ground of the jungle at times seems to be a welcome relief to your feet after clambering over bits of stone and multitudes of densely-packed jungle trees. But you eventually stumble upon an odd statue that is partially obfuscated by the roots of one of these thick jungle trees wrapping around it. The older carving appears to be feminine, the features round. But it looks like it's been here for quite some time and the tree roots themselves, you're hard pressed to find if it's been a recent grapple, though tree roots don't usually move that rapidly, or if it's been here long enough that the tree has grown around it.

SAM: The tree's growing around a statue, you said?

MARISHA: Statue of a female figure.

LIAM: We don't know if it's just slowly grown that way or if it went (roots rapidly wrapping).

TRAVIS: Or if it's a statue.

LIAM: Right. Is there any writing anywhere on this statue?

MATT: Make an investigation check.

MARISHA: Or if it's a statue.

LIAM: Yeah. That is a 26.

MARISHA: Ew.

MATT: 26. No writing, none on it. But it does look carved. It's not detailed. It's simple in its design. It is feminine in its form. The features seem to be weathered and shaved down by just time and the elements. Roll a religion check for me.

LIAM: 18.

MATT: 18. Looking at the design, looking at the body, looking at the shape-- You, Fjord, clocked this about the same time. there's an aspect of the presentation of it that reminds you of the lighthouse in Nicodranas. That cold sense that feels like it was pulled free and exposed to the stars above since the night. A hint of that warmth begins to return to your body.

SAM: Mm. Hmm.

LAURA: (gasps softly) The Wildmother.

MARISHA: Wildmother people?

TRAVIS: Yep. It looks like it could be a statue of the Wildmother.

TALIESIN: Want to be careful. "The nightmarish curse upon the stone itself," whatever that-- Just saying, it's there.

LIAM: You think there's any use peeling this vegetation off her?

MATT: Okay. You going to try and break the roots? Make a strength check for me. These are heavy roots on very large jungle trees.

LIAM: Still got those muscles.

LAURA: Guidance. Natural 20!

SAM: Oh!

ASHLEY: Yes!

MATT: You guys are just rolling like crazy! I mean, I guess it's a balance to the how game started.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Lot of single digits there the first hour.

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: Adding my strength modifier and my Guidance--

SAM: Plus your Guidance.

LAURA: -- which is three. 26.

MATT: Dang. Okay. So you begin to pull at some of these roots. Some of them appear to be old enough to have lost some of their true strength, and begin to break and peel in places. You could feel cracks as you pull. Others, you're going to have to pull out your handaxe likely and start cutting away to try and remove it. Just from sheer brute force alone, you probably can't get them off, but you can definitely get them started.

LAURA: Finally using this thing. This is great.

MATT: (laughs)

MATT: Slowly but surely, you begin to hack away the roots to expose the statue beneath. You can see the areas where the roots had pulled in, the stone surface seems to be less weathered, well kept, and there's a little more detail to the design beneath which leads you to believe, especially with the passive investigation you have, this has been here for quite some time.

MARISHA: The roots or both?

MATT: The roots, but longer, the statue. So you gather these trees grew around it.

MARISHA: Could be some indication that we're getting close to whatever ruins or temples?

LAURA: And it's definitely the Wildmother?

MATT: As far as you can gather and the feel that you get when in proximity to it, it definitely seems to evoke the energy of the Wildmother, yes.

LAURA: That's good. She can be a source of protection, right, in here?

TALIESIN: Can you talk to her, maybe? I don't know. Just, you know.

TRAVIS: I don't know. No, I don't know if that's something we can count on at all, actually. Is anything revealed by removing the roots?

MATT: As you approach, and you can see as you finish hacking away some of the heavy elements that hold it in place, and it doesn't come completely free yet. It'll probably fall forward if you do, and it looks fairly heavy, but you carve away much to reveal it. You see the hands of it are pulled into the center of the chest. There where the sternum is, between where the form of the statue's breasts are, you see an inset polished green jade gem.

SAM: Ooh.

TRAVIS: I only mean that when we were on the sea, normally the warmth of the Wildmother is something that's become more familiar to me. Then the moment when the storm rolled in, it was removed entirely and replaced by an icy feeling. It's not often that a non-deity or its scions would be able to do that. So no, I don't know if we have her help here.

LAURA: What is this? What is this stone?

SAM: Yeah, maybe the gem is connected to her or something.

TALIESIN: At the least, maybe it's expensive.

LAURA: (laughs) Can I look at it? Can I get a good look at the stone?

MATT: Yeah. It looks beautifully carved and it looks like it's handled the elements well enough, captured and held behind one of the major roots that had grown around it over time. You can see the design of the hands and fingers that held it in place that were also held behind the root. The fingers are much more vividly visible, having been protected from the harsh elements for quite some time.

LAURA: If I touch the stone, what happens?

MATT: You touch the stone? Okay. Smooth.

LAURA: (sighs)

LIAM: Give me 10 minutes.

LAURA: (laughs)

LIAM: Give me 10 minutes with it. Caleb will pull out his book and begin to ritually cast Identify. It takes 11 minutes to do.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: But I'll see if there's anything ominous.

MATT: So take a bit of time.

SAM: While he's doing that, I'm going to take all of our food and put it in a bag and wrap a cord to it and throw it over a branch and show everyone how to protect against bears. (laughter)

SAM: You have to hang your food up at night.

LAURA: Wow! That's so interesting.

SAM: Yeah, they can't get to it.

LAURA: Wow.

MARISHA: Jungle bears?

SAM: Do bears not go into jungles? (laughs)

MARISHA: I don't know. I've never seen one in the jungle, but, I mean, I don't know.

TRAVIS: The Nicodranian jungle bear is a fearsome, fearsome carnivore.

ASHLEY: What about the animals that--

TRAVIS: Omnivore.

ASHLEY: -- live in the tree?

TALIESIN: I was about to ask.

SAM: They get the food very easily. (laughter)

SAM: They love it. It's like a treat for them! (laughter)

TALIESIN: It's like a YouTube video of someone releasing a kitten and a bird just--

MATT: Yep!

TALIESIN: And it's gone.

MATT: And it's gone. All right. At the end of your 11 minute period, the jade itself does reveal a magical essence to it, a divine magical essence, a enduring blessing upon the gem. While the name has been long-lost to the annals of history and time, you know that it brings a blessing of luck and good... good faith and good will to whoever wields it.

LIAM: This is a gemstone that comes with some blessing. I don't know if we want to remove it.

TRAVIS: Typically, you would not want to disturb ruins, especially when there's a statue of a deity holding a gem, but if it comes with a blessing...

LAURA: I mean, I won't draw a dick on this one if we take the gem.

SAM: We can also put it back on the way out.

TALIESIN: You've changed.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LIAM: It's interesting, too. I wonder. It's strange to find her here. I wonder if your old patron and your new have always been at odds.

TRAVIS: Good question.

LAURA: Maybe she's here on purpose. Maybe she wants you to take the blessing.

TRAVIS: Let's take it and go.

TALIESIN: Is there anything, any other feeling that this was once a thing around here or is this just some...

TRAVIS: A marker?

TALIESIN: Statue sitting in a jungle holding a jewel?

MATT: Make a perception check for me, perception or investigation. Your choice.

TALIESIN: Perception, always.

LAURA: I'm going to wander away a little bit from them prying the gem and see if I can hear anything.

MATT: Who's prying the gem?

LAURA: Well, I--

SAM: Are you going to pry?

TRAVIS: Sure.

SAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: 17.

MATT: 17. Looking around, you don't see anything else that connotates the positioning of it. You don't see any other pieces of stone, anything that resembles a temple, anything that resembles an intentional placement of it here. It is at an angle. You're not sure if the angle of the statue was by the gradual push of the tree or if it fell on its own accord. It does feel a little out of place.

TALIESIN: Is there a... If I were to triangulate where we would be heading, is it looking at the... is it looking where it seems like their destination is going to be?

MATT: It does look like it's facing further north, northwest of where you currently are.

ASHLEY: Snake?

SAM: Hmm.

TALIESIN: Hmm.

TRAVIS: I'm going to try the jewel. If it doesn't come easy, I'll let Nott try and remove it.

MATT: Okay. As you reach out and feel for the side of it, the gem itself seems to have an unexpected warmth to the touch like the outside of a mug filled with a hot coffee and that warm sense to your fingers catches you off guard for a moment and as you feel the front of the gem, it seems to come loose of its own volition and you catch it in your hand as it (clunks) tumbles out of the statue already partially leaning forward.

TRAVIS: Got it.

SAM: Do you feel any different?

TRAVIS: It's warm. Feel.

SAM: Is it warm to me?

MATT: No, it feels like standard sense to the rest of the jungle.

SAM: I think it's responding to you.

TALIESIN: I'll carry it.

SAM: Maybe you should--

TALIESIN: I just walk up and touch it. I don't want it really.

SAM: Maybe you should shove it in your stomach.

TRAVIS: In my stomach?

SAM: Well, you know, that's what you do with rocks that are important to you.

TRAVIS: That was just the crystals. Also, it's a very traumatic thing.

SAM: Sorry.

TRAVIS: I could try it. (laughter)

SAM: Want me to help?

TALIESIN: Maybe you have to shove harder.

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Is it in a particular shape?

MATT: It's kind of an oval shape.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: It's maybe about twice the length of a gold piece on its longest end.

TRAVIS: Aah! (laughter)

TRAVIS: No, I'll just hold onto it.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Do I hear anything farther away from the group?

MATT: Make a perception check.

SAM: Can you attune to it?

LAURA: Hmm. 13.

MATT: 13. It's still the sound of the rain pouring through the leaves above and the various insects that feel comfortable and dry enough to continue to make their general jungle racket.

LAURA: I go back to the group. I feel like we've been here long enough. We should probably keep moving because those guys were like entering and (murmurs).

SAM: Yeah, yeah! 100%!

TRAVIS: Go in the direction of the--?

TALIESIN: I was thinking, considering where we were heading, and I did a little trigonometry to--

LAURA: Trigonometry?

TALIESIN: I've been learning how to navigate a bloody ship. What have you been doing?

LAURA: I've been also doing that.

TALIESIN: Right.

LAURA: A lot of that. I've been learning a lot of trigonometry.

TALIESIN: I'm trying to make sure I can do a little bit of everything.

SAM: Look at us, back together again.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: For the first time.

MARISHA: I was going to say, he's the new guy, though.

SAM: Well, the new old guy.

MARISHA: Yeah, that's fair.

TALIESIN: I was just very curious what this was all like. I don't know. So far, not disappointed.

MARISHA: Not disappointed?

TALIESIN: Not even a little.

SAM: It's a good review.

MARISHA: Yeah, that's, you know, what else could you ask for?

SAM: That's right.

LIAM: We still ruffle feathers, albeit in a slightly different way.

TALIESIN: Yes.

LAURA: I'm walking in the direction of the trigonometry.

MARISHA: We're losing Jester.

MATT: All right, Jester. Are you making another survival check then?

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Sure.

SAM: Yeah!

LAURA: Yeah, I am. I'm doing that.

TALIESIN: (laughs)

MATT: All right.

LAURA: God, I keep rolling eights. But, I'm Guiding myself as I do it. That's a 13. 17.

MATT: 17. Got it.

MARISHA: Popcorn's good.

MATT: You continue on, following Jester's lead, the tangled jungle growing more and more difficult to traverse. The slickness of the rain, some of the mud, and other natural excretions of, whether it be the natural plants or other indigenous creatures causing a bit of the moss and exteriors of these trees and roots to be slimy and impeding a bit of the speed of your movement. Within a short 15, 20, 25 minutes, you're starting to lose track of time as you push inward trying best to keep tabs on the direction you're going. You, Jester, hear a sound. (monkey hoots)

MARISHA: Oh no.

MATT: You glance up and see about 10 feet above you in a branch, a small, bright red and green monkey with a dark gray face and these bright yellow eyes that's just looking at you. A long, curled tail and it's clutching a branch looking down at you. (monkey hoots)

LAURA: Um-- (whispers) Hi. I pull out some pastry and hold it up for it.

MATT: As soon as you move, it leaps another branch (whooshes) and holds on, looks back. (monkey hoots)

LAURA: I throw it on the ground.

MATT: It just keeps looking.

LAURA: I don't know if this is, this animal is cute. I don't know if it's good for anything--

SAM: I know everything about jungle animals!

LAURA: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

TALIESIN: I take three steps back.

MARISHA: Yeah, uh-uh.

MATT: You can make a nature check, if you'd like.

SAM: I will try to coax the animal down using the movements of the jungle.

MATT: Ah. Well then, never mind. Make an animal handling check.

SAM: 19.

MATT: 19. As you coax it down and tell Jester to give it a little distance, it climbs down (clattering), looks at you...

SAM: (monkey hoots)

MATT: Rushes forward, takes it and darts back and (munches).

TRAVIS: Eldritch Blast! (laughter)

LAURA: Sprinkle, can you talk to monkeys?

MATT: Sprinkle curls out. (chitters)

LAURA: Can you talk to monkeys?

MATT: (chitters) (laughter)

MATT: And curls back in.

SAM: Only undead monkeys.

LAURA and MARISHA: (laugh)

MATT: The monkey (flitters) scrambles back up in the branch and it hangs watching you.

MARISHA: He's going to call his friends or something. We should run. Monkeys suck.

SAM: No, but maybe it knows something and none of us can talk to an animal?

TRAVIS: No, let's go.

LAURA: Yeah, keep going.

TRAVIS: It's a fucking monkey.

MARISHA: It's a fucking-- I'm with Fjord. It's a fucking monkey.

TRAVIS: We got no druids.

SAM: It knows the jungle!

LAURA: But if we can't talk to it, then what difference does it make?

ASHLEY: Maybe he knows where the temple is.

TRAVIS: Sure, he does.

SAM: You're not a druid in this campaign.

LAURA: Do you know where the temple is, monkey?

MATT: (monkey hoots) And starts yelling loudly in the jungle, hooting out loudly. Immediately, the sound is partially deafening by proximity, but you know that it is definitely making a racket that is audible for quite a distance.

LAURA: Maybe we should move. We should move, definitely move.

TALIESIN: I think we should stay and discuss this for a minute really.

LAURA: No, go, go, go, go.

SAM: Should I kill the monkey?

LAURA: No, just go.

MARISHA: Let's go.

MATT: All right, so you all continue moving onward, keeping an eye. It stops hooting.

LIAM: We got to figure out these monkeys, guys.

MATT: You continue moving.

TALIESIN: Check for traps.

MATT: Beauregard, you clocked the monkey as behind and following.

MARISHA: Ah!

MATT: Branch to branch.

MARISHA: Fuck! Fucking cool!

MATT: Branch to branch.

SAM: You want me to kill the monkey?

MARISHA: It's fucking following us now. Yeah, just keep it trained. Yeah.

SAM: Should I just kill it?

TRAVIS: I mean, it's just like a fucking--

LAURA: Don't kill it. I'm going to keep throwing out pastries.

TRAVIS: It's a smoke alarm above our heads as we move through a jungle.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah.

MATT: It occasionally (flitters) darts down, grabs the pastry, (chitters).

ASHLEY: She's just giving him gifts, you know, so he'll probably be nice to us.

MATT: (hoots)

SAM: I'm going to kill the monkey.

LAURA: I'm going to take a pastry and I'm going to break it.

MATT: Its throat opens before it gives out a big hoot sound.

MARISHA: Oh, no, that's creepy.

LAURA: I will leave a little pile of them on the forest floor.

MARISHA: Dude, throw it away. Can you throw it? Can you make it go away?

LAURA: Well, I left a pile. I'll pick up the pile and just kind of throw it. (laughter)

MATT: It (chitters) scatters up like kind of afraid of the large offering.

LAURA: Oh, you know it's good stuff, you... Let's keep walking.

MARISHA: Shoo!

MATT: All right, you continue on the path. (laughter) Who is leading this next portion of the jungle venture?

TRAVIS: Somebody with a good survival?

MARISHA: I have very mediocre survival. I'll go.

SAM: Hey, let's go!

MARISHA: I got-- Stupid fucking monkey. Natural one. There's a fucking--

MATT: You do notice the monkey is still following right behind.

MARISHA: God, I can't concentrate.

ASHLEY: Go, go, go.

MARISHA: As you're flicking off the monkey, the back foot (creaks) hits something soft. What the rest of you see--

TRAVIS: Cool.

MATT: -- is you've been walking for a bit through these thick patches of multicolored mud that's seeping from the ground through various pits and splattered up against the base of some of these trees. The smell has been sharp and odorous. A little biting to the nose, but you've been avoiding it, stepping from root to root. Beauregard's back foot has stepped into a hardened patch that, as you step (puffs), it carves in and you notice that a lot of these hardened patches aren't dried mud, but some sort of a fungal growth and as your foot hits it, (blows).

MARISHA: Not good.

MATT: Spores begin to emerge into the air around you and I need everybody to make a constitution saving throw.

LAURA: Oh no. Oh no.

SAM: Always take a well-worn path. Constitution.

TRAVIS: Constitution for a 22.

MARISHA: Constitution saving throw?

MATT: Correct. What'd you say?

TRAVIS: 22.

MATT: You take six points of poison damage. Beauregard?

MARISHA: 25.

MATT: Six points of poison damage.

MARISHA: I'm immune to disease and poison. Purity of Body.

MATT: So you take none.

LIAM: 19.

MATT: 19, take six points of poison damage.

SAM: 18.

MATT: Six points of poison damage.

LAURA: Six.

MATT: Six. (laughs) You take 12 points of poison damage, and you are poisoned. Kingsley?

TALIESIN: 19.

MATT: 19, you take six points of poison damage.

ASHLEY: 20.

MATT: Six points of poison damage.

SAM: Wow, good rolls.

MATT: So most of you take a little bit of the poison damage. You pull away real fast, trying to prevent the majority of getting you. Jester inhales it all and starts coughing.

LAURA: (coughs)

TALIESIN: Six points of poison damage.

MATT: The nausea kicks into your body and these slow chills take over and you can feel yourself very much not your maximum self.

TALIESIN: Okay, let's take a second.

LAURA: No, keep walking. They're ahead of us.

TALIESIN: Okay, do you?

LAURA: We should go.

TALIESIN: Do you want--

ASHLEY: You want me to carry you? Do a little fireman's carry?

SAM: Restore yourself?

LIAM: Do anything for yourself, Jester?

LAURA: (strains) Of course I can. I'm the healer.

TALIESIN: Oh.

LAURA: (strains) Keep walking.

LIAM: We will wait.

SAM: You've got pus coming out of your eyes.

TALIESIN: This is a terrible time for pride. Get on the--

ASHLEY: Do you want me to give you a little bit of a carry?

LAURA: I might throw up on the back of your head.

ASHLEY: That's okay.

MARISHA: Is it giving you a bit of a high? I'm just curious.

LAURA: I wouldn't recommend this kind of high.

MARISHA: Okay.

LAURA: I'm going to climb on Yasha's back.

ASHLEY: Come on, let's go.

MATT: Okay. So you're carrying Jester on your back.

TALIESIN: Is there still a monkey, out of curiosity?

MATT: Make a perception check.

TALIESIN: All right. That's a 28.

MATT: 28. It is still following you.

MARISHA: Douche bag.

MATT: A little ways back.

LAURA: I have an idea!

MATT: It is leaping from upper branch to upper branch.

TALIESIN: Can I--

LAURA: Wait, wait, no. I have a good idea. I have a good idea.

TALIESIN: All right.

MARISHA: Fire Plane!

LAURA: Hold on. I am going to... Let's see. I wonder if I can do this. Maybe not. Can I try to use my Rod of the Solitary Scout and record the monkey hooting?

MATT: If you'd like to, sure. Does it have that capability to it?

LAURA: Well. (laughs)

TRAVIS: No, it doesn't say anything about that. (laughter)

LAURA: Well, let's see. "You implant a message within an object in range. Choose an object that you can see and isn't being worn by another creature." Oh, I have to speak the message. Or, just speak the message. What do you think?

MATT: So the idea is you leave a message somewhere behind you.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Not so much in the realm of copying the monkey's sound, but you can try and listen to it and learn it for yourself and try and replicate it.

LAURA: I'm going to try to replicate the monkey's sound and leave it on a tree.

MATT: Okay. Make a performance check for me.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: This is very Jester.

LAURA: Performance. 10! Guidance. No, I said it too late. (laughter)

MATT: So about every five to eight minutes or so, you hear behind you that (monkey hooting) very loudly and it keeps rocking you to this point of unease like (groans). You attempt to do that into the rod. How does that sound like?

LAURA: Well, it wouldn't be in the rod. I'm going to try to get it on a tree.

MATT: Okay. How does it sound when you put it on the tree? (laughter)

MATT: For a 10.

MARISHA: Come on.

LAURA: (monkey hooting)

MATT: That's about a 10. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

LIAM: Super cute.

ASHLEY: It's a baby one.

LIAM: Not convincing but adorable.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: There you go. So.

LAURA: Just trying to attract the monkeys to that tree.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: To leave us alone. It's going to play-- It can go-- It can be 25 words or less and delivered as long as 10 minutes. So I'm going to make it happen every, you know, every couple of minutes.

MATT: Okay. A reoccurring--

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "Monkey hoot."

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: In quotes. Got it. Okay, cool. It is placed upon the tree as you continue onward. Yet the monkey continues following.

LAURA: Aw, come on!

MATT: Now--

LIAM: We hear that in the distance every--

MATT: Yep! (laughs)

MARISHA: It's just like a Rainforest Cafe now.

LIAM: Yeah. (laughter)

MARISHA: Oh god.

MATT: You do begin to notice long-fallen structures, or at least the very faint outline of pillars, fallen bits of stone, things that are even more ancient than the Wildmother statue that you encountered before, themselves fallen and heavily overgrown and taken back by the jungle itself. And judging by the over watch visual that you had of the jungle as you flew into it, you get the sense you're getting close to the center, if not the center-north part of the jungle.

MARISHA: Any iconography, things carved, things that look like suns or eyeballs?

LIAM: Any language here?

MATT: I will say no language in the proximity, but you can continue to search and follow some of these elements of the stone towards what you hope to be a destination or a centralized gathering of these ruin-like structures.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LIAM: Okay, we should do that. Yep.

MATT: Okay. I would like somebody to make a survival check, and/or-- Sorry, a survival or perception to guide the group.

TALIESIN: I'll perception if you like, unless somebody else--

MARISHA: Who's got a--

LIAM: I've got a good perception.

MARISHA: Mine's pretty bad.

TALIESIN: Mine's pretty--

TRAVIS: All right. I'll do perception.

TALIESIN: Mine is 15.

LAURA: I'll Guide you.

SAM: Fjord's on it.

TALIESIN: Okay.

TRAVIS: 23.

SAM: Yes.

TALIESIN: That'll do it.

MATT: 23.

LAURA: Plus a d4, if you want it.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: I have--

ASHLEY: You have a 15? Plus 15 to your perception?

TALIESIN: Yep.

TRAVIS: 25.

MATT: Great. That's awesome.

TALIESIN: I'm very paranoid.

MATT: Pushing onward, two things catch your attention. One, you follow a pattern of small plinths, or crumbled stone pillars. They seem to have a pattern of creation that they grow higher and higher each one you find. Some have been overturned, some have been retaken, but their height increases. With the increased height, you get the sense that it's like a signal towards a location. That's the first thing you notice. The second thing you notice is the distant westward sound of the crushing of vegetation and roots rhythmically. (heavy thud)

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

MATT: (heavy thudding) You see just barely beyond the furthest horizon of your visual perspective before it gets lost into the sea of trunks and trees, a bit of canopy brush fall, far to the west.

LIAM: And these plinths are pointing in one direction and they share the same direction as--

MATT: These plinths are heading in a northwestern direction. This is to the immediate west.

TRAVIS: It's to our west, but is it moving in a northwestern direction?

MATT: You're uncertain. You just hear the sound coming from that direction and you see something move that far away.

TRAVIS: Unless there's another really unfortunately large creature in the jungle, that seems like our quarry over there.

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: Now, the giant does not have the Cloven Crystal, the mage did, and mages do mage shit. You know.

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: But we could try to intercept, or we could try to get to the location first and lay an ambush, either way.

SAM: First step, don't panic. Second step, find shelter for the night. Third step, find a body of water that you can follow to civilization.

MARISHA: Veth.

TRAVIS: I don't know if that applies. That's excellent stuff, though. Those kids are going to be in good hands.

SAM: I can make a tent out of just a few objects.

TALIESIN: Is a tent one of those objects?

SAM: Yes.

TALIESIN: I had-- (laughter)

SAM: I need a tent.

TALIESIN: I feel like it's all coming back to me. I mean, slowly it's all coming back to me.

MARISHA: What about a murder of a giant, giant murder.

SAM: I haven't gotten to that chapter yet.

MARISHA: Okay.

TRAVIS: They don't know that we're here yet. We could try and move ahead. We've made up some ground.

LIAM: I would be for arching around, trying to get ahead, letting those of us who are good at getting the jump on people get the jump on people.

MARISHA: Ambush.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: If we fail to ambush them, we're going to have to meet them head-on regardless.

TRAVIS: Yes.

SAM: So it's going away from us right now?

TRAVIS: I don't know. I can't tell.

LIAM: We've got plinths going in a direction, and vaguely it feels like giant is going along--

LAURA: I can--

MATT: You get the sense based on the direction, there might be a convergence of these two paths at some point along the way.

TALIESIN: Tip of the triangle.

SAM: So maybe--

LIAM: So we follow these plinths--

SAM: -- some of us run--

LIAM: As fast as we can.

SAM: Yeah, run up ahead.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Quietly? Some of us run up ahead.

LAURA: See if I have Pass Without a Trace.

MATT: Who's traveling stealthily, who's moving quickly? The two are two different paths, especially through a jungle.

LIAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: Are you going for speed, or are you going for lack of awareness on their part?

SAM: I think we go fast.

TALIESIN: We would have to deal with the monkey if we're going to--

MARISHA: Fucking monkey.

LAURA: That's true. Then we go fast because the monkey would give us away.

TALIESIN: Yep.

LAURA: I say we go fast.

TRAVIS: We'll go fast, fast, fast.

SAM: All of us?

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Let's go.

SAM: Okay.

LIAM: Let's get there before it--

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: Someone have Pass Without a Trace? No.

LAURA: I mean, I do.

LIAM: If we're doing fast--

SAM: Let's do it.

LIAM: -- we're not doing stealth.

LAURA: But we don't need it if we're going quickly.

MATT: This is non-stealth. This is just rushing forward.

SAM: Got it, got it. Okay.

MATT: Which to that point.

LAURA: I'm going to--

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I'm going to--

SAM: Should we--?

LAURA: I'm going to cast Lesser Restoration on myself.

SAM: Should we kill the monkey?

LIAM: I could turn the monkey into a butterfly.

SAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: You're going to Polymorph?

LIAM: Sure.

TRAVIS: Sure, cool.

TALIESIN: Seems intense, but sure.

LIAM: Well, it would get us there quietly. But slow, I don't know if we can keep apace with a giant.

ASHLEY: Can you turn a giant into a butterfly?

LIAM: Maybe.

LAURA: I could try to do that, too.

TALIESIN: Oh.

LIAM: No, let's go for speed. I change my mind.

MARISHA: All right, let's go.

TALIESIN: Yep. Yep, let's go.

MARISHA: Move.

MATT: Okay. As you all begin to pick up pace, leaping over bits of stone, rushing between trees, hanging roots and vines, you push past, continue to go. Who's leading the charge, by the way? Who's at the front of this line?

ASHLEY: Survival check?

TRAVIS: The rogue?

LAURA: I'll do it again. I'll Guide myself and try to do it.

MATT: Okay, Go ahead and make a survival check.

SAM: Okay.

LIAM: Not bad, not bad.

SAM: Damage the table.

LAURA: Okay. What's that? 16 plus five. 21.

MATT: 21. Avoiding any sketchy clusters of unfamiliar flora that exists in this path, you guide the rest of the group around these stone plinths, eventually cresting up to a bit of a rising hill and heavy roots where there is a circle of trees that seems to block the path, like a wall that has been intentionally grown. As you clamber up the side and climb, you find one V gap between these heavily pushed trees, and there as you look through, there is a minute clearing. The canopy curls back up to consume it with a few broken bits of what would be probably shafts of sunlight piecing through if not for the clouds above and the rain that falls within. But here, you can see a green clearing of vines and ferns, and all manner of jungle bush and compost along the ground, and a temple of some kind, a gray, yellowish, sandstone coloration temple that looks like it has mostly fallen into itself. Looks like larger pillars at the corner that have crumpled inward. You can see partial step-like formations on it that have fallen in and been overgrown. A series of heavy, different types of trees have taken root and grown out of the broken stone. But it appears to be a central structure, quite large comparison to anything else you've come across at this point.

MARISHA: This is where we stage our ambush.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Keeping your ear still perked, Fjord, you can still hear the occasional crunching sound and distant footfall not terribly far from where you are.

MARISHA: How high up is the canopy? Do I see any type of easy enough boughs to jump on?

MATT: The canopy, since it curves around to meet at the top, there's a dome vacant space surrounding this temple before the canopy meets. So there are areas you can climb. It's probably about 40, 45 feet up.

MARISHA: Jester, can I borrow that axe? Unarmored Movement, start to climb up the tree, and I want to start hacking away and see if I can make more light pockets. Inside the top of the canopy.

MATT: Okay. Roll an acrobatics check or athletics check, your choice in how you wish to clamber up the tree.

MARISHA: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Very interesting.

LAURA: No?

MARISHA: It's a natural one again.

MATT: So, you rush around and begin running up the side of one of the curved trees that's being pulled inward. You now see on the backside as you begin to climb up that they are leaning inward to create this canopy that hides where this temple's location is, unnaturally pulled inward. As you're running along the tree, axe outward, looking for a position to go, you hear this horrible-- (cracking) A crack sound of wood. As you look down, you see one of the trees here seems to have died long ago and has been held up by the others that pinched and surrounded it. Unfortunately, this is the tree that you chose to be the load-bearing one, and as it cracks and snaps beneath your feet, the top of this tree falls with you on it. The good news is, it does open a bit of the canopy here, but you also plummet 50 feet to the ground.

MARISHA: Slow Fall.

MATT: But you do have Slow Fall, and you ride this tree down, and right before it impacts the ground you push off, that counteracts some of the inertia of you falling-- It's not inertia, this is momentum. Momentum as you fall and reduce the amount of damage you would've taken by enough to do some dope monk shit and take no damage.

TRAVIS: Wow.

ASHLEY: So cool.

MATT: But a loud heavy crack (bashing) as part of this dead tree.

SAM: Hide, hide, hide, hide, hide.

MARISHA: Fuck.

SAM: Hide!

TRAVIS: Is there a clearance between the jungle and the temple, or is it overgrown all the way up to the temple?

MATT: I mean, the floor is overgrown heavily. It's difficult terrain to run across, but there was a clearance of about 35, 40 feet from the edge of the treeline to the base of where the stone temple begins. The temple itself is probably about, though it looks like a lot of it has fallen, rises about 25 or so feet from the base of the ground. It's about 80 or so feet across from side to side.

TRAVIS: Is there an obvious door or entrance, or something that looks like an entryway?

MATT: Make a perception check.

MARISHA: Following Vex's-- Or-- Vex.

MATT: Wow.

MARISHA: Veth's lead.

TALIESIN: Wow.

MARISHA: Too many campaigns.

TALIESIN: All over.

MARISHA: Been doing this for too long.

SAM: It's Vath.

MARISHA: I hide.

TRAVIS: 19.

MATT: Okay, stealth check, stealth check.

SAM: Hide.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LAURA: This is the temple, Fjord?

TRAVIS: I think so.

LAURA: Okay, I'll run and hide as well.

MATT: Okay. Stealth check.

SAM: Would it help-- I can send an Unseen Servant out there to make noise. Would that help, or should we just leave it?

TALIESIN: Mm.

SAM: Okay, I'll leave it.

LAURA: I mean, I can-- I can do a big spell if we see them. I just--

MARISHA: To kick us off?

LAURA: I don't know if this is the temple.

SAM: It seems like a temple.

TRAVIS: Was there a clear entryway?

MATT: All right, so--

TRAVIS: 19.

MATT: With your 19, you do not, from where you're standing, here at the treeline, you do not see a clear entryway. What do you do see is, amongst the various fallen pillars, the remaining bits of stairs at certain areas that are still intact and visible seem to climb up to the larger 25, 30-foot up part of the platform. You do not see any other entryways or openings.

TRAVIS: Veth, I need you to climb to the top, see if there's an entryway up at the top.

SAM: But I was just going to hide. I'm scared.

LAURA: Go.

SAM: Okay. I take a swig of booze and I start climbing up.

MATT: (laughs) Okay. So stealth checks around, you got a?

MARISHA: 15.

MATT: 15.

LIAM: 18.

MATT: 18.

LAURA: Oh. (laughs) Nine.

MATT: Nine, okay.

TALIESIN: 22.

MATT: 22.

ASHLEY: 18.

MATT: 18, great. Fjord, are you hiding as well?

TRAVIS: No.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Yes, no, I'm hiding. (laughter)

TRAVIS: (thinking noises) 18.

MATT: Okay. As you all hide amongst the nearby bush, you start running and running.

SAM: I guess I'm going to scramble up.

MATT: As you scramble up there, you can see the-- More up close, the ruins are quite dilapidated. There's an essence they've been aggressively reclaimed by the wild magical nature of the surrounding jungle, like it's been willed to be swallowed and forgotten. These trees around it, probably once cut free and an open path above this ruin, the jungle itself bending to try and enclose it back in. You can see, while the temple spires litter the grounds, as you begin to head up these broken stairs, you can see scattered reliefs of the sun, with the rays around it along different parts of the wrecked platform near its apex.

SAM: The note said--

LIAM: Suns of--

SAM: -- suns are bad, so I'm not going to look at those. (laughter)

SAM: I'll keep scrambling up looking for an entrance.

MATT: Okay. There are steps with the sun reliefs on them.

SAM: I don't have to climb, I can just walk.

MATT: You can just walk through them, if you want to.

SAM: Great.

MATT: All right, so you avoid the suns. Above the top of it, you can see there's the two fallen trees that appear to have grown out of it and fell and wrapped over the part of it. You can see gaps between the overlapping chunks that show a broken opening along the stone platform up top. While a lot of it has fallen inward, you can see it looks like crumbled rubble and ruin, like it was a piece of stone that has fallen into itself, but where these two trees are overlapping, you can see there's a gap, about a three-foot gap between them at its widest. More like two, two and a half feet. There within, you can see there is a deeper path below.

SAM: I will Message Fjord. There's an entrance at the top. It's very small, but we can get in. You can reply to this Message.

TRAVIS: (laughs) Hmm, fight out here, or fatal funnel. Everybody to the top.

MARISHA: All right.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: You all go running, (whooshes) scattering from the tree edge to where the temple is. To this point, you hear the (crackling) crashing sound of one of the nearby trees on the southern ring of this interior come falling with it. (banging) As it hits the ground, you can see its boughs shake. Bits of dust and water end up scattered to the ground. There you see now pushing through, arms, pulling itself out from the hole left in this ring-like canopy cage around this temple ruin, a storm giant pushing through. And that's where we're going to stop this episode. We'll pick up there for part two.

SAM: Part two?

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: What is this bullshit?

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

SAM: I have to put on this hat again? (laughter)

TRAVIS: Going to be a fight.

MATT: I mean, yeah.

MARISHA: Match that makeup, bitch.

ASHLEY: Yeah. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Yeah, we got to match makeup. You better put on a hat.

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughter)

LIAM: He got makeup on.

LAURA: Yeah, Sam's got beautiful swirlies.

TALIESIN: Got little swirly--

SAM: Binky, binky, binky.

TALIESIN: Swirly bits.

ASHLEY: Oh, that's true. That's true. What am I saying? Yeah, that's really hard to do. (laughter)

SAM: I did it myself.

MATT: All right.

SAM: Take us home, Matt.

MATT: Indeed. Well, we are off next Thursday for Thanksgiving, but please join us the following Thursday, December 1st, for the exciting conclusion of our Mighty Nein Reunion.

MARISHA: Reunion! (laughter)

MATT: But until then, enjoy, for those who celebrate it, Happy Thanksgiving, for whatever that means to you. Thank you for joining us for this. Excited for the next bit. We love you very much, and is it Thursday yet?

SAM: Yay!

MATT: Good night.

ASHLEY: Yahoo!