Transcript:A Race for the Prize

Pre-show
MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

ALL: (hollering) We play Dungeons & Dragons!

MATT: Our first sponsor is Quip. Okay, I-- I know what's going to happen. Sam's going to pop up as a lounge singer, Ludo McGillicutty, I think was his name, and perform some stupid public domain songs. So, you know, come out! Come out, Ludo! Ludo, just get it over with. Hello?

ASHLEY: Hello. Hello. Hello. It is me, Dallas Baumgartner-Bouvier, the best female lounge singer this side of the Pacific! ♪ Scibby-doo wap bi doo ♪

MATT: Isn't everything in America this side of the Pacific?

ASHLEY: Don't you steal my punchline, Mistoffelees.

SAM: Sorry about him, Dallas! (chuckles) Mufasa here is the Quip Public Domain Lounge's most abrasive customer. That's right, abrasive, like those other electric toothbrushes.

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MATT: So there's two of you now?

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SAM: She's also here because Ludo McGillicutty was running out of ideas for this bit.

ASHLEY: This bit is getting ♪ o-ho-ho-old ♪ ♪ Zabba-do bo ♪

SAM: D'you dig, McGruff the Crime Dog?

MATT: For the last time, my name is Matt! Matt!

ASHLEY: Marzipan!

SAM: Michigan!

ASHLEY: MMMbop!

SAM: Missy Elliott!

MATT: That's not it.

ASHLEY: Mitsubishi Galant!

MATT: That's a car.

SAM: Meek Mill.

ASHLEY: Magnum PI!

SAM: Middlemarch!

ASHLEY: ♪ Ma ma ma map ba-bi-boo ♪

MATT: Now we're just scatting.

SAM: Okay, Marge from The Simpsons!

ASHLEY: Martin from The Simpsons!

SAM: Maggie from The Simpsons!

ASHLEY: Milhouse from The--

MATT: No one from The Simpsons! Look, I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but can you please talk less and sing more?

ASHLEY: Absolutely, Murder She Wrote.

SAM: Okay! Here's a song, a public domain song. A-two, three, four. Can't see it, though. (laughter)

SAM: There it is! A little higher. There it is. A-two, three, four. (melody of "Ode to Joy") ♪ Quip's smart electric toothbrushes ♪ ♪ Are great for adults ♪ and children too ♪

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ASHLEY: ♪ Quip will encourage good habits ♪ ♪ Like brushing two ♪ minutes twice a day ♪ (laughter)

SAM: Keep scrolling, keep scrolling!

SAM and ASHLEY: ♪ Quip ♪

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SAM: (scatting) (laughter)

SAM: And we leave. And we leave. (laughter)

MARISHA: Wow.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

MARISHA: Wow.

TRAVIS: New top five?

MARISHA: Yeah!

TRAVIS: New top five?

MARISHA: I don't know about that. I don't. (laughter)

ERIKA: They're putting on a novel for us.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Time Life.

MATT: Wow, thank you, Sam and Ashley.

LAURA: It was so good.

MATT: And Quip.

TALIESIN: Yep, yep.

MATT: What have you done? This episode is also sponsored by Thorum, makers of handcrafted unique wedding bands out of everything from meteorite to whiskey barrel, right here in the USA. Thorum has been making rings for 10 years now, and takes great pride in their amazing customer service, quality, and original designs. Every single purchase includes a free silicon activity band, so when you got to take the ring off and do stuff and you don't want to damage it, and a wooden ring box. Plus, they make the process as easy as possible by offering ring sizers so you can get sized at home. So whether you need a wedding band, anniversary ring, or you just want a ring that looks awesome, head on over to thorum.com and use promo code Criticalrole, one word, to get 20% off a truly unique epic ring. Marisha.

MARISHA: Guys. Guess what? We have our first in-person event with all of the lovely Critters in almost three years.

TRAVIS: Three years!

MARISHA: I know, it's been a long panini. On July 23rd at 5:00pm Pacific, we're going to be doing a panel at San Diego Comic Con! We're back, baby! The amazing Christian Navarro will be moderating. For our far away Critters, the panel will be available on our YouTube channel at 10:00am Pacific on July 28th. Laura!

LAURA: We have a shirt.

TRAVIS: The terror.

LAURA: We have a new logo shirt! (cheering)

TRAVIS: It's beautiful!

LAURA: It's called our Critical Role Gradient Logo T-shirt.

MARISHA: Cool.

TRAVIS: It's called that.

LAURA: It's on our website. Check it out.

TRAVIS: Gradient logo.

LAURA: It's got our logo, and it's a gradient, and it's really pretty.

MARISHA: It looks like our sunset setting on the set.

LAURA: That was the inspiration! You guys!

MARISHA: That's so great.

LAURA: Anyway.

MATT: I think with the arrival of our fantastic bards at the end of the table.

TRAVIS: Holy shit.

LAURA: I didn't think I could crush on you harder, but...

ASHLEY: Well, you know, I just--

LAURA: It got me.

MARISHA: It's pretty good.

ASHLEY: It's really something else.

TRAVIS: Oh, Dallas.

ASHLEY: Just Dallas is a...

MATT: It's a thing. Well, I believe that finishes our announcements. So let's go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role.

Part I
MATT: And welcome back. Some folks were a little late on the draw that time. So last we left off: Bells Hells, here in the city of Bassuras, on the central southern side of the Hellcatch Valley, have come at behest of Lord Eshteross to hunt down and return Lord Armand Treshi who is responsible for much of the chaos in the city of Jrusar. Upon arriving, you've gotten some interesting revelations through meeting a new friend, who themselves have lost some of their memory, but have unique ties to the past of Fearne Calloway. Fearne, in reaching out to your mother, realizing that they're not that far away. In fact, should be coming to Bassuras fairly soon. Upon trying to find a way into or decide how to get towards Armand Treshi, who is currently confirmed to be held within the Seat of Disdain by the Paragon's Call faction of Crawlers, you have plotted some possibilities. In preparation for one of these possibilities, the event known as the Deathwish Run, the terrifying deadly race that is utilized as a means of celebration or conflict management, or just searching for glory or death within this city could be a means of getting in with the faction of the Paragon's Call and get closer to your goal. You went and spoke with the resident chief engineer, Imahara Joe, who apparently does a lot of the repairs and construction of the automatons and the crawler machines throughout the city and beyond. Through this conversation, one, began to commission one of these skirmish-crawlers to be utilized in such an event with the possible lien that if you appease one of the factions or at least beseech them for membership and this is your test, they might give you a loaner or two with an emblem that they would give to you. Imahara Joe also took a glance over here at FCG and seemed to be quite entranced by the history that you may not have been aware of, the seeming possibility that you were not built by Dancer, but indeed may have been something much older. Speaking of Dancer, also found out that Dancer is still alive and had passed through town--

LAURA: This fucking bitch.

MATT: -- a short time ago.

MARISHA: This bitch right here.

TRAVIS: I'm sure there's a reasonable...

ASHLEY: Sure.

MATT: But as we finished up--

ASHLEY: A reasonable "but".

MATT: -- with a lot of these events stacking around the corner, you all decided to find a new place to sleep, given that the previous one was found after you were followed by the Paragon's Call, and begin making your path to--

SAM: ♪ Making your path ♪

MATT: Yeah, can't even dodge it. Can't even avoid it. Fine. (sighs) Towards The Undercarriage, which is more seedier elements of the city there, this specific caravan-serai of which Ashton had memory of. Were headed there when we finished. So picking up from where we left off, you are trudging now through the nighttime streets of Bassuras, pushing through the crowd of strangers and individuals that peering eyes might be hopefully not seeking you for their own particular mischievous reasons, heading towards the caravan-serai. What would you like to do? We could pick up upon you arriving and gathering rooms, if you'd prefer. Unless you have something to do on the way?

TALIESIN: I think that's a great place to start.

MATT: Okay. So arriving here at The Undercarriage, this element of the city, the buildings are quite close together. There isn't a central city street as much as there are extensions of the alleys. It's a maze-like walk network. Knowing the city well, Ashton, you also advise everyone to stay close, when you go through here and to make sure you're holding onto your coin purses. But upon turning a few corners, you come to the exterior of The Undercarriage, which is a clustered series of platforms, a number of large standing ladders that connect to almost catwalks. Upon these upper catwalks, there are networked platforms between them that where they intersect, tents are set up. The individual rooms are like scattered little bits. It looks almost like a smattering of nests that are built atop this strange, awkward positioned structure

LAURA: But there's also rooms underground, too, in addition to these?

MATT: Indeed. From what you can tell, most of these tents are shops. These are not the various inn based rooms here.

LAURA: That's so cool!

MATT: But as you approach, you look and see where the lights are, and people are climbing up and around and they're going from little shop to shop, little tent and setup distribution sales points. Then towards the base of it, within the walls that surround it, you can see there are openings and stairways that curl below, where you assume is where the rooms for the night reside.

LAURA: I want to go to there for real! That sounds so cool.

MATT: If only.

LIAM: You are there for real.

LAURA: I am there for real!

LIAM: We're here.

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay!

MATT: Acquiring some rooms here, relatively inexpensive. How many rooms are you needing for the night?

TALIESIN: I think four would be a good call?

SAM: Are they rooms or are they...

TRAVIS: Tarp walled.

SAM: Tarp walled hostels?

MATT: No, these are underground. It would almost be a dungeon if it wasn't furnished a little better. So it feels like a series of cells underground, but they're closed doors and they have means to rest.

TALIESIN: They're rooms with a dungeon theme.

MATT: Yes. Yes.

SAM: Cool.

LAURA: Do they have a solid wall on all four sides or is one side bars? (laughs)

MATT: No, it is a solid door.

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: One side's glass. (laughter)

LAURA: Don't worry, nobody watches you sleep in a creepy way.

ASHLEY: Well, are we sure we want to do four rooms? Because I feel like we always end up in the same, in a couple rooms.

TALIESIN: We can do a couple rooms. I'm pretty easy.

TRAVIS: Well, I mean, four's good. You know, just in case anybody wants to celebrate anything.

TALIESIN: No, three rooms. Three rooms, then? Two rooms?

TRAVIS: Okay.

TALIESIN: All right. No, she makes a good point. Three rooms? Two rooms? Maybe two rooms.

ASHLEY: I don't know how many beds are to a room.

MARISHA: Let's split the difference and do three rooms.

TALIESIN: I think three rooms is a nice middle ground. Yes, please. Three rooms.

LAURA: Five? Five rooms?

TRAVIS: Yeah, they tend to pile up together.

MATT: Three silver.

TALIESIN: Oh wow. Okay. Big spender.

MATT: Exactly. The somewhat thick-shouldered ogre that is currently running the front area glances across the rest of you. There's a big cloven gash across the lips where you can see even when the mouth is closed the teeth peek through over so slightly and it's just a continuous little dribble heads down the chin. Looks past the rest of your group. "Okay. You got rooms." His lips whistle a little bit as the breath comes through as he closes it. Hands over a few keys. Each of the keys, you could see, has a tag on it. Some sort of a cloth tag that has a number on it that designates which chambers you look for. And you don't get them back to back. There's two that are next to each other, and then one appears to be three numbers later, so there was a slight separation.

LAURA: There's the boning room for you and Chet.

ASHLEY: Oh, okay. Okay.

MATT: But you descend upon the stairs into the dark earth underneath. It is quite chilled down here, especially the night that is far below where the sunned surface of Bassuras keeps a decent warmth throughout the early portion of the evening. So the chill immediately hits you, especially since you've probably been sweating through most of your clothes and that dampness immediately begins to grow cold in this temperature, but--

LAURA: How far away are we from All-Minds-Burns?

MATT: I'd say you are about a 15-, 20-minute walk.

LAURA: Okay. All right.

LIAM: We came in the dark, right?

MATT: Yes, the night has come, yeah.

TALIESIN: Yeah, other than shopping and a little bit of drinking, not particularly good drinking, which is surprising. This is just a good place to chill out, not be found, and maybe solidify the plan for tomorrow, which I feel like we're pretty reasonably solid on, at this point.

LAURA: Yeah, at this point, I mean, all we can really do is talk to that dwarf guy.

TALIESIN: I could just show up and be myself.

LAURA: Then you show up and say, "We are recruited to work for General Ratanish."

ASHLEY: Wait, who's the dwarf guy?

LAURA: Then if all goes south, then we challenge him to a race.

TALIESIN: That also may be-- There's a couple ways that this may end in races in the cars and death, but that's okay, it's going to be fine!

LAURA: Then once we're in there, then that's how we gain access to finding out where Treshi is hidden, right?

TALIESIN: I mean, it's easier than sneaking in.

MARISHA: Or are we going in when we're like, "We challenge you to race for Treshi!"

TALIESIN: I think they would actually just kill us, at that point. I think this is the nice middle ground between sneaky, which we're not particularly good at, and intense and straightforward, which we're also not particularly good at. I think that--

LAURA: Are we good at anything? Really?

TRAVIS: Yeah!

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: You're good at woodworking.

TRAVIS: Well, sure. That's obvious.

ERIKA: You're all very attractive!

TALIESIN: We know.

TRAVIS: I'm good at carnal pleasures. I'm also very flexible.

ASHLEY: Oh wow.

MARISHA: Are you?

TRAVIS: Yep. Yep.

ASHLEY: Like, going with the flow, or like in your body?

TRAVIS: Both, I did miming back in my 100s.

ASHLEY: You did?

TRAVIS: Yep!

ASHLEY: Could you do--

MARISHA: Oh, you go. I'm sorry.

ASHLEY: Wow.

LAURA: Insight check!

TALIESIN: I demand insight and I also demand a performance check.

TRAVIS: Why do you even need to ask for an insight check? What the fuck?

MATT: You demand a performance.

ERIKA: To see if there's actually glass in front of you!

TRAVIS: Oh! (laughter)

TALIESIN: I demand a performance check. I have feelings about miming.

LAURA: I buy it. I got an 11.

TRAVIS: I use Minor Illusion to cast glass.

ERIKA: What is this? A shield?

MARISHA: And a rope.

TRAVIS: Then a rope!

ERIKA: Yeah, spectral rope or something?

SAM: What's that fierce wind blowing in? (laughter)

ERIKA: Did somebody use Gust?

ASHLEY: Wow!

MARISHA: I think he's a bit rusty.

MATT: Hey, Chetney.

TRAVIS: Hmm?

MATT: Roll a performance check. (cheering)

SAM: First one of the campaign.

TRAVIS: Oh god, I almost destroyed my computer. I've never looked at this tab before. It's a four! (laughter)

TALIESIN: All I wanted.

ASHLEY: Well, it's probably been a while.

TALIESIN: Wow, great, you're really talented.

MATT: The illusory rope looks like the T-shirt that Laura's held up in previous post things. It just doesn't quite fit, and shakes in place.

LAURA: I don't know what you're talking about. Those T-shirts are amazing.

SAM: Oh.

LIAM: What are you bringing that out for now?

LAURA: I don't know. Why not right now?

LIAM: It's not proper.

ASHLEY: They're not supposed to see that one yet. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Completely sequined?

MATT: Mm.

MARISHA: Oh no.

TALIESIN: That invisible box is a little wet. I feel like you're pressing through it a little.

TRAVIS: Too much? It has been a couple hundred years.

TALIESIN: Yeah, it shows.

TRAVIS: But you know, we're all onions. You just have to peel the layers to get to the good stuff.

ERIKA: (gasps)

MARISHA: You know, Chetney, I don't know if I ever asked exactly how old you are.

TRAVIS: You know, I stopped counting after the three-somethings.

MARISHA: Wow.

TRAVIS: Because then you're just fucking guessing. A couple hard nights of drinking and other stuff, and you wake up after a certain birthday, and you're like, shit, which one is it?

LIAM: You think north of four?

TRAVIS: Probably.

LAURA: How old do gnomes live?

TRAVIS: I don't know. I guess we'll find out! Woo-hoo! (laughter)

LIAM: Hey, Travis.

TRAVIS: It's been a minute!

LIAM: Roll that d100. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Oh shit. Is that how many years I have left? (laughter)

LIAM: No, it's if this the day.

TRAVIS: Oh! (laughter)

TRAVIS: Yeah, one out of 100, I just, ah! (laughter)

TRAVIS: (groans) (laughter)

TRAVIS: Now I have to.

LAURA: What happened to your hands?

MARISHA: What?

ERIKA: What happened!?

LIAM: What is going on this studio?

MARISHA: What keeps happening? (laughter)

MARISHA: First it was Ishii and now it's you?

ASHLEY: It's cursed. It's cursed.

SAM: I tried to write something and I didn't realize this is filled with liquid.

ASHLEY: It's really pretty.

LIAM: You guys can't come straight to the game after trying to rob a bank.

TRAVIS: You can't touch unicorns like that, Sam, okay?

LIAM: You got to separate it out.

MARISHA: Oh my god!

ERIKA: You got to remove the ink packets.

LIAM: Well, it matches his shirt.

MARISHA: Man, insults only.

LAURA: So basically we know the plan.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: The plan.

MARISHA: Right.

LAURA: So that's it?

ASHLEY: Yes. I know the plan for sure.

LIAM: Are we at all nervous that if we are recognized, Treshi bugs out of town?

TRAVIS: Sure!

LAURA: There is a risk, right, that Treshi will catch on.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Well, we were all at that-- I mean, we all had a pretty reasonable excuse for being at that party in the first place. I was working, clearly you all were working. He didn't necessarily have to know that we were working to fuck with him.

LAURA: No, but--

LIAM: But it's weird that we were there.

LAURA: You were there Ashton, and you had a mask of the Nightmare King on.

TALIESIN: I did.

LAURA: He's the reason that Treshi had to leave town.

TALIESIN: That's true.

TRAVIS: That's also assuming that Treshi actually talks to Ratanish and then shares those details and blah, blah, blah.

TALIESIN: Ratanish ain't going to say shit. He don't give a fuck.

LAURA: Right, Ratanish won't care, but I don't know.

TALIESIN: Honestly, if Treshi sees us out in the courtyard, honestly, that's just really bad policy letting someone that you're actually guarding be out in the courtyard--

TRAVIS: This is good! We're diversified in our approach.

TALIESIN: -- when a bunch of random fucking people show up.

ERIKA: Do we know that they're guarding him?

TALIESIN: I mean, that's what--

TRAVIS: No.

LAURA: No.

TALIESIN: -- they would be paid to do, I suppose, since they are hired muscle.

LAURA: Did it seem like he had guards with him when you were watching him smoke?

LIAM: He had two escorts with him and he seemed really jumpy.

TRAVIS: Ah, escorts.

MARISHA: I mean, he could just be jumpy because he's on the run from lots of people--

LIAM: Could be.

MARISHA: -- not just us.

LIAM: Could be, but we were in the place where he was, and now we're in the place that he is.

TRAVIS: Yeah. So only the people that he was around and saw through the ring fiasco, they stay behind. Everybody else goes in.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: And you're going to do the talking, Ashton? I mean, you've been doing a bang-up job.

TALIESIN: How are you sweating ichor right now?

MARISHA: I'm trying not to lie.

TALIESIN: You have a big tell. I'm aware that this is definitely a flaw in the plan, and I'm hoping I can communicate in our base language of punching people, and I feel like we have a little bit of a rapport in that direction, and maybe it will go in that direction. I don't know.

LAURA: Can you make him better at talking before we go in there tomorrow?

TALIESIN: Maybe, I don't--

SAM: I think I can, yeah. If we have a little heads up, yeah.

TALIESIN: Is this some sort of-- I have to take some sort of classes on how to be proper or anything like that or is this--

ERIKA: (gasps) I sense a montage! (laughter)

TRAVIS: I have a feeling.

TALIESIN: I don't montage.

MATT: The rain in Spain.

MARISHA: This is a salad fork.

TALIESIN: Falls mainly.

ERIKA: I place a book carefully on the top of his head.

TRAVIS: ♪ Gonna need a montage ♪

LIAM: Well, it feels to me like we should be ready to brute fort this, brute force this if we have to.

TRAVIS: Brute fort also.

TALIESIN: Brute fort is actually--

LIAM: Bruce Fort, actually.

TRAVIS: Bruce Fort.

LIAM: We got to be ready to Bruce Fort this because if Ashton isn't able--

MATT: He knows what he's doing.

LIAM: -- to chat our way in-- I mean, first of all, if we do get in their good graces and we go in, we're hoping to fly under the radar and get near Treshi, I think it's going to go south. If it does go south and we see Treshi, are we trying to grab him and yank him out of this place?

TRAVIS: What do you mean, when we're in there working for them?

LIAM: What if we walk up and it all goes south immediately.

LAURA: And he's right there.

ERIKA: So remember how when we had that amazing plan the other night, and then the next morning it all went to shit and we just adapted to it? Maybe we could do that.

TALIESIN: I'm always a fan of that, to be honest

MARISHA: Who has the little bubble bead?

ASHLEY: I think I have it.

LAURA: Oh, no. I actually still have it.

ASHLEY: You have it.

LAURA: I have it.

TALIESIN: This is what happens when we keep stealing from each other.

TRAVIS: I think I have it. (laughter)

LAURA: Listen, did you take it from me, Fearne?

ASHLEY: I probably did. (laughter)

LAURA: I check my pockets and see if I actually have it or if she has it.

MATT: Yeah, she has it.

LAURA: (gasps) (laughter) Fearne!

ASHLEY: I actually don't remember when I took it.

LAURA: Fearne.

ASHLEY: I was just keeping it for safe keeping.

LAURA: All right. Can I have it back? Do you want it?

LAURA: Yeah, I would like that.

ASHLEY: Let me just...

TRAVIS: Oh!

ERIKA: Where does she hold--

MARISHA: Oh my god.

ASHLEY: I think it's in my...

ERIKA: -- everything?

TRAVIS: That's a good question. I've been interested to find out myself.

LAURA: You had it in your ear?

ASHLEY: Well, just for safe keeping.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Because it sticks.

LAURA: Oh, that's true, yeah. I've never noticed you have a little--

ASHLEY: Yeah, there's a little spot for stuff.

TALIESIN: There's a lot of pouches.

ASHLEY: Pouches everywhere. You just wouldn't even believe it.

LIAM: Guess that's why you weren't responding to our questions half the time.

ASHLEY: Hmm? (laughter)

ERIKA: Whomp, wah.

ASHLEY: So stupid.

TRAVIS: Show of hands! Who was not a part of the ring fiasco? Dusk, Chetney. Laudna. Put your fucking hand down.

ASHLEY: I wasn't a part of it!

TRAVIS: You were part of the ring fiasco.

LAURA: 100% you were dancing with him!

TRAVIS: Jesus!

ASHLEY: The first ring! I thought we were talking about at the store.

TALIESIN: Well, I was a loud asshole at that party, let's be fair.

TRAVIS: That's true. That's okay. But they know your faces.

ASHLEY: I understand. We were talking about that party.

ERIKA: Can't you be a quokka or something?

ASHLEY: I mean, I could! I could turn into something and hang out in somebody's pocket. There's multiple possibilities.

TALIESIN: That's actually a pretty good idea.

LAURA: I could shave my head again.

TALIESIN: I mean, it's growing back so nicely.

LAURA: So that he wouldn't recognize the purple hair.

ASHLEY: Wait, didn't you have-- Weren't you blue?

LAURA: Was I blue at the party? No.

TALIESIN: No, that was after.

MARISHA: No, after the party. After the party. I was just normal me--

MARISHA: You became blue in the jungle.

LAURA: -- with a mask on there.

ASHLEY: Oh, that's right.

LAURA: That's all.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LIAM: So metaphorically blue.

TALIESIN: If everything goes to plan, which clearly it won't, going to go in there, say we're looking for little work while we're in town because we're filling out some of our own contracts in town. Which if I have to get called on it, we'll talk about your parental issues, and that we need a little extra cash on the side. He said call them up when we're in town, and we're in town and I'm calling them up.

MARISHA: But we do need to be prepared, right? To get Treshi?

TRAVIS: No, we're not going to do that. No, if we come across him inside, we're not going to make a move. We're gathering intel, getting close. We're rubbing elbows.

LAURA: Unless he makes a run for it because he realizes it's us--

TALIESIN: Unless something weird happens.

LAURA: -- and then we strike!

TRAVIS: Sure.

TALIESIN: But if something weird doesn't happen--

LAURA: We throw him in the hole!

TALIESIN: -- we get to walk in and out of that place just when we'd like to, if we're just getting a little bit, if we're doing contract work.

MARISHA: Right.

TALIESIN: So no one's going to look twice at us going in. If we're very clever, which clearly we're not, no one will look twice at us leaving. I mean, it's almost a good plan. It is so close to a good plan. It's the closest we've been.

LAURA: Then we say, Deathwish!

TRAVIS: Yeah!

TALIESIN: If anything goes wrong, we say Deathwish very loudly.

LAURA: All right. This is great.

ASHLEY: Wait, so the race that we're going to be in. That doesn't have anything to do with Treshi?

TRAVIS: Not yet.

ERIKA: Not even a little bit.

ASHLEY: That's just for funsies?

TRAVIS: It's just a fallback.

TALIESIN: That's just the emergency escape.

ASHLEY: That's our emergency fallback.

TRAVIS: Yeah. At worst, we've got a vehicle to use.

TALIESIN: I'll also say since only so many of us can be on that vehicle, it also means it's the distraction if other people want to go in and take care of that shit. There's a lot of options here! It's very flexible!

MARISHA: It's good.

TALIESIN: It's very flexible.

ASHLEY: It is. This is very loosey-goosey and I like it.

TALIESIN: Yeah!

LAURA: All right.

MARISHA: All right!

TALIESIN: This is playing to our strengths of chaos.

TRAVIS: Plus we're getting to know the city better.

MARISHA: Yeah!

TALIESIN: It's a little nicer than when I lived here, I will admit.

MARISHA: So the inside team that's going to be like, "Hey, we want to be a part of your cool gang," is going to be Ashton.

TALIESIN: Yep.

MARISHA: Laudna.

TRAVIS: Yep.

MARISHA: Dusk.

TRAVIS: Yep.

MARISHA: Chet.

TRAVIS: You fucking know it.

LAURA: So great. Our best talkers are going forward.

TRAVIS: Yes!

LAURA: Just the people that--

TRAVIS: Calm, level-headed negotiators.

MARISHA: I'm quite charismatic!

TALIESIN: Going to just be picking up some work on the side.

ERIKA: You are.

MARISHA: It's true.

TALIESIN: We're not joining the gang, we're picking up some work on the side.

LAURA: You are very charismatic.

TALIESIN: They're not even listening to me.

TRAVIS: That's true.

MARISHA: No, we're listening.

TRAVIS: We're basic thuggish ruggin' it.

MARISHA: Thuggish ruggin' in? (laughter)

TRAVIS: Thuggish ruggish. ♪ Bone ♪

MATT: Yeah, there it was. I was waiting for it. (laughter)

TRAVIS: '90s, woo!

TALIESIN: How have we done so well already? Okay. Yeah.

LAURA: So that's what we're doing. We're going to wake up and do that.

TALIESIN: Yep.

LAURA: Head straight over.

TALIESIN: Yeah, well I'm going to grab a drink on the way in, but yes. Yeah. That's the plan.

LAURA: All right. Great.

TALIESIN: Breakfast drink.

ASHLEY: Oh.

MARISHA: All right.

LAURA: Good talk.

TRAVIS: Unless they ask us to sleep in the barracks or whatever, we'll come out afterwards.

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: You look very distraught, Orym.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MARISHA: With an edge of pensive.

LIAM: No, it's going to be--

MARISHA: Pensively distraught.

LIAM: It's going to be great.

MARISHA: I believe you.

LAURA: We can just stand outside and have an anxiety attack together.

LIAM: I'm just going to be ready to throw down. It's going to be great.

ASHLEY: What should we do?

LIAM: It's going to be great.

TALIESIN: We should have an emergency thing to yell if everything goes to shit.

SAM: The outside team?

ASHLEY: We could always go eat or--

MARISHA and MATT: (laugh)

ASHLEY: -- go see a show.

TALIESIN: Other than help.

LAURA: Yeah, that's what I was thinking. We might just go get some food.

ASHLEY: Just go eat or something.

TALIESIN: Although, I suppose that would work.

SAM: Don't we have to pick up some items?

ASHLEY: Mm-hmm. Oh yes, we have to get our-- We have a surprise. Did we tell you?

ERIKA: We told them.

ASHLEY: We told you.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: We also have-- I pull out the dynamite sticks. We have these, too.

LAURA: Those are dangerous.

ASHLEY: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: You just (whoosh)

LAURA: Yeah. Oh!

TALIESIN: Constantly remind me why I like you.

ASHLEY: I'll hide it again.

ERIKA: Can I have one?

ASHLEY: I'll hide it. Yeah.

ERIKA: Yes!

TRAVIS: Yeah, Fearne, if you do your flame hands thing, try not to be holding one of those until you're ready for it to go boom because the fuses probably go fast.

TALIESIN: Yeah, don't slash and put your hands in your pocket when you're doing that either. That'd be real bad.

ASHLEY: I feel like I'm going to-- Who wants one? We have five. So we have one for Dusk.

LAURA: I'll put one in my pocket. Yeah.

ASHLEY: Maybe you should take one.

MARISHA: I mean, if no one wants--

TRAVIS: Yeah. Fuck it, I'll get some.

MARISHA: I'll take it. Sure! (laughter)

ASHLEY: Loud-na.

TALIESIN: I'm perfectly confident.

TRAVIS: Holy shit!

SAM: Loud-na.

MARISHA: So strange. My name just changed suddenly!

ASHLEY: Ashton, would you like a dynamite stick?

TRAVIS: What are the stats on fucking dynamite?

TALIESIN: Sure.

MARISHA: What are the stats on dynamite?

ASHLEY: Here you go.

LAURA: One, two, three, four, five.

TRAVIS: Inventory.

LAURA: Oh wait, you passed out all of them.

TRAVIS: Thank you!

ASHLEY: I did.

LAURA: Now you don't have any.

ASHLEY: Well, I can do it myself with my hands.

LAURA: Oh, I guess that's true.

ASHLEY: I mean, maybe not-- Well, we'll see what happens.

LAURA: All right.

ASHLEY: It's okay. If I need one, I can take one from you guys.

MARISHA: Stick o' dy-no-mite.

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Throw up to 50 feet. Five feet. Awesome.

LIAM: Were those shops open when we came into this place?

MATT: A handful of them, yeah.

LIAM: A handful? At that moment, I'm going to head back up and just sort of pretend shop and see if anybody-- I'm going to spend like 15 minutes seeing if anybody is staring at this place or if I recognize--

MATT: You got it.

LIAM: -- any of the people from--

MATT: Sure. Roll perception.

LIAM: And I'll call out. Yeah. That's 14 plus... I don't have my shit open.

LAURA: You didn't even have your thing open!

LIAM: I think it's a 19. Let's say that. I rolled a 14.

TRAVIS: Come on, big whammy! Nope.

LAURA: Nope.

TRAVIS: Big money, no whammy.

MARISHA: Come on, big whammy.

TRAVIS: Come on, big whammy!

ASHLEY: Come on, big whammy

MARISHA: Come on! Fail!

LIAM: It's a 20. It's a dirty 20.

MATT: Dirty 20? Okay. From what you can tell in the time you're up there glancing around, some of the shops are selling some oil for lantern maintenance, there's some that have some nicer incenses for those who want to rent rooms that maybe don't smell as good when they first enter them. Minor tools, some simple weapons. Yeah, it's a whole essential oils thing. But you do not see anybody specifically who is wandering strangely or is familiar from your previous encounters. So you feel fairly comfortable that you're not in immediate danger.

LIAM: Okay. And oil for what? Lighting lanterns?

MATT: Yeah. Lantern oil.

LIAM: I'll throw some silver or gold down to get a little bit of that.

MATT: Sure. I'll say two silver--

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: -- for two vials of lantern oil.

LIAM: Okay. A flammable material. Thank you.

MATT: No worries.

ASHLEY: Should we pick up our-- Is it time to go pick up the piece?

SAM: It's not time right now.

ASHLEY: No. Okay.

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Did we want to see if there's a hidden puzzle in your postcard?

ERIKA: (gasps)

ASHLEY: We certainly could!

ERIKA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

ASHLEY: Yeah.

ERIKA: Put them all out.

MARISHA: Mention that.

TALIESIN: Oh god, crafting.

ASHLEY: Just go ahead and have a look see.

MARISHA: It's not craft time! It's puzzle time! Two very different things, Ashton!

ERIKA: I have string!

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: I lay them all out.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Are there dates? Is there an order of...

MATT: There aren't dates set to them. They're just, you were given them over a period of time at different intervals.

ERIKA: What does the handwriting look like?

MATT: It's all consistent handwriting.

ERIKA: Okay.

MATT: So there's no variation, but it looks like handwriting. Kind of nice, if a little chicken scratchy at times, but it's consistent.

LAURA: Who gave you each card?

ASHLEY: These were from my parents. So I would get them-- We would get them I guess in the mail at our home. Me and Nana. Sometimes they would come on my birthday, sometimes just out of the blue and just a surprise.

ERIKA: Do you know how they were delivered? Did you ever see them get delivered, or--?

ASHLEY: I don't know how our mail system works. (laughter)

ASHLEY: I think it's something to do with probably someone walks them from a place. I really don't know.

ERIKA: Do I know of the mail system, the postal service of the Feywild works?

MATT: There isn't so much a postal service more than there are couriers that work for the different courts. So various fairies, pixies, fey, whatever the case may be, and other quick fey, in fact, quicklings, in particular, which you'll recall from Campaign 2.

ERIKA: Is there a lot of mail that goes back and forth between--

MATT: Not often. It's usually political missives, occasionally letters.

TALIESIN: So there's a pixie that just serves people. Bam! (laughter)

ERIKA: Ah.

TALIESIN: Meet you in the Seelie Court! Oh! (laughter)

TALIESIN: Got another one! Sorry, sorry. Had to get that out of my system the minute got in there.

MATT: There it is.

SAM: Sus.

TALIESIN: Dun dun. Dun dun. (laughter)

TRAVIS: The defendant is dumb.

MATT: I would watch the shit out of that.

TALIESIN: I would!

ERIKA: So it is plausible that there would be mail within...

MATT: It's plausible.

ERIKA: Okay.

MATT: Yeah. Letters, missives, all those things get passed around. Some of them magically, some of them by hand by very fast fey, like I said, specifically, the quicklings. If it's really important, they travel extremely fast.

SAM: Who's going to be trying to find the pattern, I guess, in these things?

MARISHA: Well, I figure if we just stare at it.

TALIESIN: Not that I care, but are there any markings on these that are inked on that are not writing, like lines that don't necessarily connect to the impression on them?

SAM: Before y'all leap in, who's going to be investigating this so I can help?

ERIKA: Well, aren't we all looking at it?

MARISHA: Yeah, who's got a good investigation? My investigation's not great.

LAURA: Mine's not awesome.

ASHLEY: Mine's negative.

TALIESIN: Five. We have a five.

MARISHA: Yours is negative?

MATT: I hear a five. Anybody better than a five?

LAURA: Is Chetney?

TALIESIN: I think Chetney is the closest we have to a monk character.

TRAVIS: Don't look surprised! I'm wise as fuck. (laughter)

MARISHA: Wise as fuck.

SAM: Yeah?

MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: All right. Wise or intelligent?

LAURA: It's intelligence.

MARISHA: It's intelligence.

TRAVIS: You don't know!

LAURA: We know. (laughter)

SAM: Well, I'm going to enhance your ability, then. I'll give you Fox's Cunning.

LAURA: Ooh!

TRAVIS: I remember that from Campaign 1, but don't remember what it is. It's temporary.

ASHLEY: I'll give you Guidance.

MARISHA: Advantage.

MATT: Advantage on intelligence-based checks.

TRAVIS: This is Fox's Cunning?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Okay.

TALIESIN: And do you have-- a d4 that you add to that.

TRAVIS: d4.

TALIESIN: I believe. Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yes, and Guidance as well.

MATT: All righty. So with these all spread out in front as you're all gathered, Chetney, you begin to go into full modern Sherlock mode.

TRAVIS: I stretch first. I really get my ankle behind my head, get the hammies loosened up.

SAM: You got this, Chetney.

TALIESIN: This is much better mime than before.

TRAVIS: Slap. I take out the wood chisel and I slice down my palm, ah! I wipe it down one side of my face.

LAURA: Why is this the method?

TALIESIN: No, this is his art. Let it happen.

LIAM: Does that help?

TRAVIS: It's been proven through the centuries, okay?

ASHLEY: Wow.

TRAVIS: I open my view, looking for patterns, anything that jumps together, anything that's consistent among all the postcards. I tap into a trance.

SAM: He's got the look in his eye!

MARISHA: He's got blood in his eye. That's why.

SAM: Oh, that's what it is.

MATT: It does sting a little bit.

TRAVIS: It's starting to sting! Fuck! I'm down to one eye. (laughter) Which is all I need.

MATT: Perfect. So roll investigation for me with advantage and then add a d4 as well.

MARISHA: (laughs) Yeah.

LAURA: Please be good.

TRAVIS: Yes, sir. d4, that's going to help a bunch. Wait, what?

LAURA: It's the one that looks like a triangle.

SAM: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Got it. 20... 25.

MATT: 25? (oohing)

TALIESIN: Wow!

SAM: Whispers! Oh my goodness, gracious.

MARISHA: You got whispers?

SAM: Just in time to find out that if you become a D&D Beyond subscriber and unlock exclusive monthly perks. This month, unlock the clockwork digital dice set and the Vecna dossier to add Vecnas to your game. To add Vecnas?

TALIESIN: Add Vecna to your game.

SAM: Multiple Vecnas? It says Vecnas with a possessive Vecna. So it's Vecna's something, maybe it's Vecna's smell? (laughter)

LAURA: Vecna's...

LIAM: Eye, hand.

TALIESIN: Vecna's something.

LAURA: Well, Vecna's dice.

LIAM: Gooch.

SAM and LAURA: Vecna's dice

SAM: -- to your collection. Okay, good. (laughs) Sorry.

TRAVIS: (gasps) (laughter)

TRAVIS: My god.

ASHLEY: Where did you go?

TRAVIS: Did you know that at the beginning of time, there was only Chetney... (laughter)

TRAVIS: And then there's-- No, I'm just fine. You know, it's strange as I gaze upon this beautiful collection of postcards. Fearne, these must be very, very dear to you.

ASHLEY: Very, very dear.

TRAVIS: Did you receive them your whole life? Like at random birthdays?

ASHLEY: Random times. Yes, random birthdays, random times of the year. I think... You know, whenever I would ask about, think about them, they would just show up.

TRAVIS: It's amazing. Yeah. And you've had them for all that time?

ASHLEY: Oh, yes. I mean, they've... For the past... I mean, since they left.

TRAVIS: 90 years?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: It's just so strange because all of the corners seem to be what I would call a mint condition almost and there's very little wear and tear. It just seems strange for something that's 90 years old or even half that long. That just seems so... mint.

ASHLEY: Well, I take such good care of them. I mean, I think they're the only things I have of my parents. So...

TALIESIN: We should pick one. I was ready to bid a gold that you had nothing. I'm really glad I didn't do that now.

MARISHA: Wha-- it's-- I... Hold, pause.

LAURA: There's multiple reasons that this could...

TALIESIN: There's one way to find out.

MARISHA: Well, you just said... What did you just say? That you would just think-- whenever you would miss them you would think about them and then they would show up?

ASHLEY: Well, I mean, I think about them often but definitely for birthdays, something would show up or just when I would reminisce with Nana and we would get to talking sometimes. It's like, maybe they heard. Maybe there was some type of connection. And--

TRAVIS: There's another thing Fearne, you know, these postcards, I can tell the mass produced shit from stuff that's handmade. Nothing like it. The art on the back of these postcards is beautiful, but they're all one offs.

LAURA: They were handmade?

TRAVIS: They look like one of a kind paintings of locations.

TALIESIN: FCG. Could you do a Detect Magic on one of these things? I feel like we're being led somewhere.

TRAVIS: We did it, didn't we?

ERIKA: Well, I did--

TRAVIS: We did Identify.

MARISHA: Identify.

MARISHA: It was non-magical.

LAURA: Fearne, wait, what if-- Are you sure it's been 90 years?

ASHLEY: I'm pretty sure. I mean, around that. I think... It's been a long time. I mean, it *feels* like 90 years. I know-- I think I'm 112 and I think they left when I was...

TALIESIN: There's too many variables in this shit.

ASHLEY: Three? 12?

ERIKA: I'm telling you.

ASHLEY: I don't know, it's a weird--

LAURA: What if time is so weirdy, weird? What if when you came over or something, what if it's only been like a little bit since they left? Is that strange? Is that possible?

ASHLEY: I think that would be a wonderful thing. The only reason I say that is because I don't know why they would stay away so long. You know? I mean, I know they had a lot to do, but I imagine if you have somebody in your family, you probably wouldn't leave them so long. So, maybe it's just been like a year for them or you know--

LAURA: Right.

ASHLEY: -- just a couple months. So...

ERIKA: Pretty sure I've only been here a couple of months. But then, all again, I didn't know where in time or location they got dumped out.

MARISHA: Ooh!

LIAM: You're going to them in a couple days.

MARISHA: You might have gotten dumped out and it's been only been a couple months but for them it's been 90 years. Well, to Chet's point, too...

LAURA: What did you see, Chet?

TRAVIS: What? (laughter)

ASHLEY: Did you see something else?

TRAVIS: I saw really nice artistry.

LAURA: That means they've--

MARISHA: They're in such good condition. Normally, you know, when things go through the post, they get a little--

TRAVIS: Wear and tear.

MARISHA: -- beat up.

SAM: It's not just the post that you've been holding these things for your entire life.

ASHLEY: Oh, yes. I keep them-- very good care--

LAURA: How often do you read them?

ASHLEY: I read them... I don't know, a few times a week. Just checking in on them.

SAM: And they're mint.

TRAVIS: Exposure to the air, the elements, the sun.

MARISHA: I don't mean--

SAM: It's like they've never been touched?

MARISHA: -- any offense. You're bit of a messy bitch sometimes.

ASHLEY: I know, and I totally understand. I think just these-- I've just tried to keep really clean, but I mean--

TRAVIS: We may also have done you a disservice not asking you more about Nana. Have you told us much about Nana?

ASHLEY: Well, I mean, I can. She's wonderful.

TRAVIS: Is she also from the Feywild?

ASHLEY: Mm-hmm.

SAM: How's her painting skills?

MARISHA: Her art, yeah.

ERIKA: Is she Ollie or Birdie's?

ASHLEY: She was an amazing painter.

MARISHA: She was an amazing painter.

ASHLEY: Mm-hmm.

TALIESIN: Huh.

LAURA: Do you know what her handwriting looks like, Fearne?

ASHLEY: Huh. That is something I didn't quite think about. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Oh, I don't think these are from her.

MARISHA: From Nana?

ASHLEY: From Nana.

ERIKA: Are you sure?

ASHLEY: I mean, the writing is similar, but also my writing is kind of similar to hers. You know.

MARISHA: Who was the one who told you? Because if you were so young when they left, did your parents say that they were leaving to go save the world? Or was that told to you by Nana?

ASHLEY: Well, I remember they told me they had to go. I remember giving them hugs and I was very sad, of course. But very happy to be with Nana because she's one of my best friends.

ERIKA: How are you related to your grandmother?

ASHLEY: She is my... I think she's my mother's mother. She's my mother's mother.

SAM: You think?

ASHLEY: I feel like I've forgotten now.

LIAM: Fearne, I'm just going to say it out loud. Do you think there's a chance that Nana was protecting you from what your mom and dad might have gone off to do or had been doing?

ASHLEY: Maybe. That's possible.

LIAM: I mean, in theory, we're about to meet Birdie and Ollie. Pretty easy way to get to the bottom of it.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I'm sure there will be some explanation that we'll get to, you know? If they didn't write the postcards, then-- I mean, it's very possible that it was Nana or maybe they would tell her and then she would pass it along.

LIAM: Maybe, yeah.

ASHLEY: But we'll find out. We'll talk to them. We'll see. I'm sure there's, of course, answers all around. Well--

MARISHA: Well, we love you.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: Very much.

ASHLEY: I love you guys, too, very much.

MARISHA: Whatever comes out in the wash, as they say you know, you have us and we're here for you.

ASHLEY: Yeah. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Wow, I feel so weird.

ERIKA: What do you feel like?

ASHLEY: I feel like-- I feel very confused, like my brain is a jimble jamble.

SAM: Oh, do you need a moment?

ASHLEY: No.

LAURA: Do you want us to send--?

ASHLEY: I think--

LAURA: You want to try to talk to--

ASHLEY: I think I'm just going to...

ERIKA: Let's head to bed, maybe. We'll sleep on it--

ASHLEY: Yeah, we'll sleep on it.

ERIKA: -- and get a good night's rest for the plan tomorrow.

TRAVIS: Yes, very wise.

ASHLEY: Yes.

TRAVIS: Things are always clear in the morning.

ASHLEY: Yes, we have such a big day. We just have so much to do so we should all get super, super rested. Don't be down. You guys all seem like you're so sad. It's fine. We're going to figure this out.

LAURA: Yeah, it's totally fine.

ASHLEY: It's totally fine. It's totally fine.

LAURA and ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: We're going to see them in just a little jiffy.

ASHLEY: In just a little jiffy. We'll figure it out. It's going to be great.

ERIKA: We have all the time in the world to catch up.

ASHLEY: Yes, I think it'll be wonderful. Okay, well.

TALIESIN: It's going to be a disaster.

ASHLEY: Wait, are we at the--?

SAM: We're in our place right now.

ASHLEY: I'm going to go to sleep so I can get an early head start. You guys all sleep great.

SAM: All right.

ASHLEY: Turn those frowns upside down and we're going to get to it tomorrow.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Unless I should do a watch.

TRAVIS: I'll stay up with you for a watch.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TRAVIS: Just because it's a first night in a new place.

SAM: Sure.

TRAVIS: Don't worry about getting a sneak on us.

LAURA: I'm going to pull out the pencil.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: My ToT pencil.

TRAVIS: Top?

LAURA: And use my Mage Hand to float it over in front of Laudna. I'm just going to write on her notebook in front of her: Can we talk?

MARISHA: I just nod.

LAURA: I'm going to get up and walk out the room.

MARISHA: I follow.

ERIKA: Before you go, can I grab you for a second?

MARISHA: Oh, uh.

ERIKA: Just really quick. Just really, really quick.

MARISHA: Yes, yes.

ERIKA: Okay, she'll be right there.

LAURA: You didn't see--

ERIKA: Oh, right. So, um... so, do you want go to dinner sometime, maybe? MARISHA: To just, like, get to know each other, or how do you mean?

ERIKA: Like. Yes. To get to know each other better. Just you.

MARISHA: Oh! Would you-- I mean, we could just go as a group, too, because like a big bonding. Is that what you mean? Or like--

ERIKA: Hmm. I kind of get the fact that maybe you like me and because I kind of like you, and I asked, you know, Imogen, because it seems like there was some sort of tension between you two and I asked her and she said there really wasn't anything between you two. So, maybe, like, she was like--

MARISHA: Ooh.

ERIKA: -- okay, yeah. I did sense vibes when I asked her. So, um. Do you--

MARISHA: So you're ask-- Like a date?

ERIKA: You okay?

MARISHA: Yeah, no, I'm good. I'm just--

ERIKA: You're doing--

MARISHA: Mm. Uh.

ERIKA: Oh god, there's something in the back. No, it's fine. It's fine.

MARISHA: Oh, that's just Pâté.

ERIKA: Oh, okay.

MARISHA: Um. Oh, wow! Uh. This hasn't really happened to me before.

ERIKA: Wait, really?!

MARISHA: I'm sort of, you know, off-putting, I think, to people, you know, being, like, the whole not fully alive thing. So, um, I need--

ERIKA: Hey, hey.

MARISHA: -- a moment.

ERIKA: Hey, you're awesome. And you are funny, and you're friendly, and you have great hair.

MARISHA: Do I?

ERIKA: Yeah.

MARISHA: I pull another chunk of it out.

ERIKA: Oh, see?

MARISHA: Um, oh! This is-- Um. I... will... I have to go! And I leave. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Left her a parting gift of a chunk of hair.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: Hold this.

ASHLEY: Yeah. I'll be right back.

ERIKA: All right. You know. I've received worse. (laughter)

MATT: Frazzled as you are, you dart out of the room and follow suit to where you--

LAURA: Yeah, I'm just standing in the hallway.

LAURA and MARISHA: Hi.

MARISHA: This has all been a-- You.

LAURA: No-- I told FCG he could help with this, but I just don't know if we need, if we... I'm sorry.

MARISHA: I don't want to fight anymore.

LAURA: I don't either.

MARISHA: I miss you so much.

LAURA: I miss you so much. And I don't-- I know that you didn't do that on purpose. I know that fucking--

MARISHA: She's crazy.

LAURA: -- and she's in your head--

MARISHA: And I don't know what's going on.

LAURA: It must have been so scary--

MARISHA: It was.

LAURA: -- to have that happen.

MARISHA: But it was more terrifying is feeling like there's a rift in our friendship and that's more scary than anything. I'm sorry.

LAURA: I'm sorry. Yeah, okay. (giggles) Thank you for the pencil.

MARISHA: Oh!

LAURA: I got you something, too.

MARISHA: Really?

LAURA: I'm going to pull out the ring that I bought. It's two snakes and a ruby.

MARISHA: Oh my goodness. This is a lot better than a pencil.

LIAM: (laughs)

LAURA: It reminded me--

MARISHA: Oh my goodness.

LAURA: I don't know why.

MARISHA: It's kind of like us.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: The ruby kind of reminds me of--

LAURA: I know, like a rock coming between us. But it's not gonna!

MARISHA: It's not. No more rocks! Between us, at least. There are more rocks.

LAURA: It's felt so weird with this thing going on. And we can't talk to each other about it.

MARISHA: It's been so much--

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: -- and we just haven't stopped going since we got here. And then, Dusk is here now.

LAURA: Dusk is here.

MARISHA: Did she just hit on me?

LAURA: She did?! She did ask-- I got the impression she was interested.

MARISHA: What do I tell her?

LAURA: What do you want to tell her?

MARISHA: I don't know. I've just been so... really just wanting to make sure that we were okay. And--

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: And just, you know-- I don't think-- I haven't accessed that part of my brain in like 50 years. So.

LAURA: It would be strange, I know, to access that.

MARISHA: Yeah, I don't want to hurt her feelings or anything.

LAURA: Oh, no, I'm sure. She seems sweet. They seem sweet.

MARISHA: Yeah. But that's-- But that's-- Um.

LAURA: Um. I had a--

MARISHA: I want to hear about your dream.

LAURA: I had another nightmare, yeah!

MARISHA: Oh my god, and I'm sorry that it. We couldn't talk about it. Tell me about it.

LAURA: Oh, I had FCG draws this. It was-- I wasn't in the field. I was in the middle of the storm already, and I looked around and there were people in front of me and he talked to me. They-- she talked to me? She talked to me.

MARISHA: The figure?

LAURA: The figure, and she said, "Oh, this is interesting." There were people around her and she was wearing armor. She had gray hair and--

MARISHA: "This is interesting"?

LAURA: She said, "This is interesting." She looked straight at me and she had gray hair. She didn't look like anyone I knew, and then she lunged at me!

MARISHA: (gasps)

LAURA: And then I woke up, and Laudna, I went to the window, and the moon was flaring. It was all orange outside, and there were other people looking up. Other people who were aware of the flare, and I felt drawn to it, and it was weird because at the same time, I was scared, but it also felt like something was right. I don't know, maybe that's more scary.

MARISHA: That's crazy.

LAURA: Why is part of your hair missing?

LAURA: I-- I-- (laughter)

MARISHA: I had a little anx-- it was--

LAURA: Why are you wearing white?

MARISHA: Orym--

LAURA: It's a very strange-- I didn't want to s--

MARISHA: (sighs) (tearily) It's been a lot since we've got to this godforsaken city. Orym--

LAURA: You're all right. It's all right.

MARISHA: You're okay, too. You're okay, okay. Orym didn't want me to look like me, so he'd be bought me this white linen.

LAURA: Your black is just coming straight through it. It's all over.

MARISHA: I know. I know, and I'm just sweating ooze.

LAURA: It's fine. You look fine. You look great.

MARISHA: (sighs) Well, the moon is flaring.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: That's got to mean something, and it's continuing to make its way, ♪ makin' its way ♪ up to the sky. (laughter)

SAM: You self made "makin' your way"?

LIAM: In character. (laughter)

LAURA: And, and, and they're very aware, whoever's in the dream, whoever's in the nightmare, is very aware that I'm there.

SAM: That rhymes.

LAURA: That rhymes.

MARISHA: They're aware that you're there.

LAURA: Yeah. I think. I think, you know, FCG wants to try this thing where he's watching us sleep. Not in a creepy way.

MARISHA: Creepy.

LAURA: No, yeah, but it feels kind of creepy, but he says that maybe if he sees when I start to dream, he can try to access my mind or something, and maybe he can be there, too. But I remember at one point when I had the stone, I had it in my dream, right? When I was holding it in my hand, and I talked to you about this before and we just haven't been doing it. But I really think maybe I should just hold onto you and then--

MARISHA: Maybe I could be there because what if it's real? I know we've said this before that we think maybe it's more than just a, you know, dream, but that feels, if they can recognize that you're there--

LAURA: It's weird, because every time that it starts, it's like I forget myself. I forget anything I can do. It's like it's so scary that I can't remember--

MARISHA: Your magic.

LAURA: Yeah. To try anything, you know?

MARISHA: What if this is-- What if you're tapping into an actual event that's happening right now in real time?

LAURA: There's people up on the moon, just standing in a swirl?

MARISHA: It sounds crazy.

LAURA: And every time I dream, I'm teleporting there? I don't think that's happening. What if that's happening?

MARISHA: I don't know.

LAURA: There's no people on Ruidus.

LAURA and MARISHA: What if there's people on Ruidus?

MARISHA: We should go to the moon. How do we get to the moon?

LAURA: I would have no idea.

MARISHA: Well.

LAURA: Well, I'm glad that everything's okay. Everything's okay?

MARISHA: Yes, yes, just, you know.

LAURA: You know what? Maybe we can pretend to still fight, and we can let FCG work us through this because I know it would mean so much to them, yeah. It would make them feel so good to think that this was because of--

MARISHA: Be a part of it, right?

LAURA: Yeah, and especially finding out all the stuff about Dancer, you know. I think they really need it right now.

MARISHA: I mean, they've got to be going through something.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: They seemed-- If they could be pale--

LAURA: Maybe we could let them sort through this and then we can also help them through their shit.

MARISHA: All right. Okay.

LAURA: All right, I'm going to go and act like I'm-- Should I act like I'm really mad when I go?

MARISHA: Oh, when you go, and I could come in and I could--

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, okay. I open the door.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: (cries) That did not go well. (laughter)

SAM: Oh no. Are you okay?

LAURA: (tearily) FCG, I need your help.

SAM: I'm here. I'm here. What do you need?

LAURA: (tearily) Can you please come out into the hallway?

MARISHA: I open the door and I go: That's what I think of your stupid rock.

MARISHA and LAURA: Ugh!

LAURA: Oh no. (cries)

TRAVIS: Oh god.

LAURA: (tearily) I need your help.

SAM: Okay, okay. I'm coming. I'm coming I'll--

LAURA: I storm out.

TRAVIS: Escalation.

MARISHA: (laughs)

SAM: Okay. As I leave I'll just hit Laudna

SAM: Okay. As I leave, I'll just hit Laudna with a quick Transfer Suffering. Just to sort of absorb some of her stress. (laughter)

MARISHA: (laughs)

SAM: Calm, calm. It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. I'll hit her with Calm Emotions as well. (laughter)

LIAM: (powering down)

SAM: It's going to feel tingly.

TALIESIN: It's a human Xanax.

MARISHA: Ooh, tingly fingers.

SAM: Just try to keep it together for just a little bit longer. All right?

MARISHA: (tearily) All right.

SAM: I'll go see what's going on. I'll go out to the hall and try to track down Imogen.

TALIESIN: Before you go, I'm going to walk up to Laudna. Nice ring. Who gave it to you?

MARISHA: None of your buis-- Imogen.

LAURA and ASHLEY: (laugh)

TALIESIN: See. She gave you a rock. It's all good now.

MARISHA: (snaps) Shut up!

TALIESIN: I'm always right.

MATT and LAURA: (laugh)

SAM: I'll go--

LAURA: Oh my god. (laughter)

SAM: I'll go out to the hallway.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

SAM: Imogen, what happened?

LAURA: Oh no. It just didn't go well. I just really wish we would've had you out here.

SAM: I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking about it. I'm sorry. I was distracted.

LAURA: Oh, no. You're so distracted right now.

SAM: No, I--

LAURA: FCG.

SAM: I should've been there.

LAURA: No, you shouldn't have, no. You didn't know. Oh god.

MARISHA: Oh no, this is backfiring. (laughter)

SAM: It's just, I know we have to do so much you know. TRAVIS, MARISHA, and LAURA: (laugh)

SAM: We have to get out of the city and we have to get Cyrus out of the city and it's, you know, my--

LAURA: And Dancer and then-- FCG?

SAM: What?

LAURA: Cyrus? Wait, Cyrus?

SAM: What happened with you? What happened with you and her? Is she-- are you okay?

LAURA: Are you okay?

SAM: Yeah, I'm fine. Do you need me to do the thing?

MARISHA: Are you guys-- is this just you or--

LAURA: I'm going to cast Calm Emotions on FCG.

SAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: It's just the two of them.

LAURA: Are you all right?

SAM: Maybe, maybe.

LAURA: It's been a hard day for you.

SAM: Well, you too, apparently.

LAURA: Well, look. Now that you're here, I think everything is going to be just fine.

SAM: Well, you had a bad dream, you know, and that could really mess with you, right?

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: You need to get-- you need to figure out what it is.

LAURA: I'm going to hold his hands. Do you want to talk to Dancer?

SAM: I do, but what if she doesn't want to talk to me?

LAURA: Then she's a dumb bitch.

SAM: Well, that's not nice.

LAURA: FCG, you are special.

SAM: Apparently. What does that mean, though?

LAURA: You're a good person.

SAM: I know. Apparently I am, but what does that mean? Why-- Why- Why did I-- why did she go away and why did--

LAURA: I'm sure it was a genuine mistake.

SAM: But also, what was I before?

LAURA: I don't know.

SAM: All I've wanted this whole time is to have friends and experience things and have a life and have successes and failures, and well, it sounds like I had all those things and I just can't remember any of them.

LAURA: Maybe you were-- maybe you were freshly born back then and you didn't have any experiences. Maybe that's why everything feels so new. You know? I mean, it's a possibility.

SAM: Yeah. I don't know. Didn't sound like it, though. It sounded like I'm from a place where--

LAURA: Maybe--

SAM: There was lots of people like me and I never got to know any of them, or maybe I did and I don't remember them or... I just, I feel like if I can if I can find her, you know, and talk to her, she'll be able to explain, you know, what's going on with me or something.

LAURA: Yeah, we should definitely talk to her. Maybe she didn't have the answers and that's why she stepped away. Maybe she doesn't know you're alive.

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Maybe... Maybe she has a clue about your past and we can research it that way, you know. Joe said other people were waking up like you. Maybe we can find one of them!

SAM: Yeah, yeah.

LAURA: He seemed to know some leads. If we could find someone that was around at the same time as you, maybe from the same city.

SAM: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah she'll know, right?

LAURA: She might, and if she doesn't, we'll make it our mission to find out.

SAM: Yeah, yeah okay. Well, if I don't-- if I can't-- I-I-if she doesn't, you know, answer me, would you reach out to Delilah for me?

LAURA: Delilah?

SAM: Dancer for me?

MARISHA: Why did you say that?

LAURA: Oh, Laudna, come here.

MARISHA: Are you all right?

SAM: Yeah, I'm fine.

LAURA: I feel like something's going on with you, FCG, deeper than... deeper than you know.

SAM: Maybe.

MARISHA: FCG, you don't look good.

SAM: I'm pretty sure I look the same as always.

MARISHA: Well, it's about your disposition.

LAURA: Your metal looks paler than usual.

SAM: I don't think that that's possible.

LAURA: It is. It is. It is. You've got a flesh tongue, I mean, maybe--

SAM: My optical sensors are saying that it's the exact same color as it always is.

LAURA: Well, maybe they're acting up too, so. (laughs)

SAM: Still no taste.

LAURA: Your tongue looks pale.

SAM: No taste.

MARISHA: You know, FCG, there's been moments where you've had these little brain lapses. Can you remember when those happened?

SAM: I don't know... I don't know what you-- I mean, it feels fine to me. I don't know.

MARISHA: This Dancer...

SAM: Mm-hmm.

MARISHA: I think you should just prepare yourself to expect that she's maybe not fully who you thought she was.

SAM: Well, I... Okay. I don't know why-- I mean, she seemed like she was... Okay.

LAURA: What did Dancer look like?

SAM: Well, she was furry and tall.

LAURA: She was furry?

SAM: A little fur.

MARISHA: Like Fearne?

SAM: I mean, no, not the same. Just sort of like a light fur, I guess.

LAURA: All right.

SAM: Had a little floppy ears and--

LAURA: Was she very tall?

SAM: She was pretty tall.

LAURA: All right.

SAM: I mean, taller than me. She was riding a horse at one point through a field and she had... or was it blue skin?

LAURA: Oh no.

SAM: I think it was a horse. Yeah, and she had a moon tattoo.

LAURA: A moon tattoo?

SAM: No.

MARISHA: Like Orym?

SAM: No, no, no, that's Orym, yeah, no. She was tall and she had a light sheen of fur.

LAURA: You can't remember what she looked like, can you?

SAM: No, that's what she looked like, and she had blood coming out of her. She looked scared, and she had blood all over her-- all over her hand.

MARISHA: FCG, um... You do so much for the group in terms of taking on a lot of our emotional stresses and protecting us from our own mental traumas. and protecting us from our own mental traumas. That can wear on a person, too. You know, you-- You just said Delilah.

LAURA: And Cyrus.

MARISHA: And referenced Orym. You've been in a lot of our heads and we've been in yours and maybe you're...

SAM: I don't know.

MARISHA: It's a lot to take on.

SAM: Yeah, maybe. Maybe I just need to take a nap or something, or shut down for a bit.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: Sorry. I'm sorry. I should be helping you right now.

LAURA: Oh no, look at this. Look.

MARISHA: We're great. We're good.

LAURA: We're just talking to you.

SAM: You were just having a fight.

LAURA: No, but you know what coming together over you--

SAM: She really was upset, Imogen. She was so upset.

MARISHA: Ahh...

SAM: She was pouring out her heart to me.

MARISHA: You know--

SAM: She was.

LAURA: I believe you, and you were pouring out your heart?

SAM: She was, yeah.

MARISHA: She was-- I'm sorry.

LAURA: I'm sorry. Thank you, FCG, for helping us.

MARISHA: See!

SAM: You don't have to do that just for me. I mean, you wanted that rock, and she broke it and you shouldn't have.

MARISHA: I shouldn't have.

SAM: But she felt terrible and--

LAURA: Yeah, you're right. Did you-- you felt real terrible?

MARISHA: I felt horrible.

LAURA: Yeah, all right. Apology accepted. I'm sorry that I reacted the way that I did.

MARISHA: You were very warranted in your reaction.

LAURA: Thank you for your help.

SAM: Okay, good. You're okay, then?

LAURA: I'm great.

MARISHA: We're good.

SAM: You're okay?

MARISHA: We're great.

SAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: FCG! FCG, come on, come on.

SAM: What?

TALIESIN: Shit, you look pale.

SAM: I don't think that's physically possible, but all right.

TALIESIN: Come. Sleep. They have to sleep. You have to sleep.

SAM: All right.

LAURA: Who's taking first watch?

LIAM: Hold on, I got to rewind.

TALIESIN: (rewinds)

MATT: All right.

LIAM: During that whole conversation, as soon as they left, Orym looks across at Dusk and sees her looking a little out of sorts and walks over. You all right?

ERIKA: (dragged out) Yes! Yes. Thank you for asking.

LIAM: Sure. Can I ask you a question?

ERIKA: I may or may not answer, but yeah.

LIAM: Okay, well, you're really good with that sword, and I've never seen anyone fight quite like that. Did you pick that up in the Feywild?

ERIKA: As far as I can imagine, before I was in the Feywild, I was a fighter of some kind? Like a--

LIAM: Zero recollection, though?

ERIKA: Hmm?

LIAM: Zero memory of that either? It's a really unique style.

ERIKA: So I have different flashes, right? So, I remember being a kid running around by an ocean, but when did that happen, or where? Don't know. I remember training with a bunch of other teenagers, but I don't know if it was in the Feywild or somewhere else.

LIAM: Do you remember any of the kids you trained with?

ERIKA: Hmm, not by name. (sighs) Do you think that *we* could've trained together? Is that what you're driving at?

LIAM: I mean, I would remember. I'd remember you. I also have a very different technique. Look, I'm a little stressed out.

ERIKA: Yeah, yeah, are you okay?

LIAM: I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm far from home. I'm not optimistic about tomorrow, but that's fine. I just want to let off some steam. You want to fight?

LAURA: Oh my god.

LIAM: I hold out one of the toy swords from the Taste of--

ERIKA: (gasps)

MATT: (laughs)

ERIKA: Yes, I do! Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

LIAM: I pull out the other one. Maybe not in here. Let's go up.

ERIKA: Yeah.

LIAM: Top-side.

ERIKA: Okay, cool.

LIAM: Okay.

ERIKA: Amazing.

LIAM: All right, I'm leading out with two toy swords.

MATT: Okay, as you're having the heated conversation, we'll say there's a brief moment where you both stop and watch the two of them exit quickly back top-side.

MARISHA: Hi, hi.

LIAM: Sorry.

MARISHA: Dusk, hi. Hi!

MATT: Then you continue with your conversation. The two of you head back up.

ERIKA: (groans) Stupid, this is stupid. Hey, I'm so excited for our fight, yeah.

LIAM: So they're wood. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want you to hurt me, but maybe we could just try to--

ERIKA: Just a little bit, though, because we don't want to get too worn out for tomorrow.

LIAM: How about best... Let's do first one to score five hits.

ERIKA: Okay, all right.

LIAM: Does that work?

ERIKA: Yeah, sure.

LIAM: All right, I'm going to take 15 paces back.

ERIKA and LIAM: Okay.

ERIKA: Then I also take 15? Oh, I don't, no. We take 15 paces back and then--

MATT: Okay, you guys are standing as you emerge from the upper staircase. You're standing in between this small open dirt patch between two of the large rising clusters of scaffolding-looking structures where the upper tents and shops glow above you. There are a handful of folks out here that are just walking past, and as you both begin to square off with wooden weapons drawn, some folks just usher out of the way quickly while a few others begin to lean up just to watch, curious as to what's happening, but in this moment of tension, you take paces apart from each other.

LIAM: I say: This is going to be awesome.

ERIKA: Oh, and you don't have magic, right? We're not using magic?

LIAM: Orym's hair blows in the wind--

ERIKA: Oh, cool.

LIAM: -- and he spins his sword and I fucking run at you.

MATT: All right, let's roll initiative, y'all.

ERIKA: Exciting!

MATT: Initiative.

ERIKA: Okay!

MARISHA: Oh shit, we're rolling. (cheering)

TALIESIN: Rollies, motherfucker.

TRAVIS: Yes, yes.

TALIESIN: It's time for rollies.

ERIKA: A 10. You go first, I assume

TRAVIS: You do not truly know someone until you fight them.

TALIESIN: Until you've tasted their wood.

LIAM: 19.

MATT: All right, so this halfling, with a burst of speed, rushes before you are properly ready and you get to go.

ERIKA: Oh shit!

LIAM: Oh my god, it's been so long since we fought.

TRAVIS: You remember what she does-- or they.

TALIESIN: It's been a while since we had a fight.

LIAM: Okay, so I am attack-attack. All right, so I run straight at her and swing the wooden sword up in a sweep and try to knock her toy sword out of her hand with first blow.

MATT: All righty.

LIAM: That is a 19 to hit.

MATT: Does 19 hit?

ERIKA: Yes.

MATT: Okay, so you strike the sword and you're attempting to?

LIAM: I'm using one of my battle techniques, a disarming attack. You have to make a strength save, DC 16.

ERIKA: Oh god, that's-- 16. Ooh, it's cocked, fuck!

TRAVIS: So close to that 20.

ERIKA: That would've been (laughs).

TRAVIS: Oh, on the ledge! Holy shit, you got some daring dice.

ERIKA: Did you all see that jump?

MARISHA: I did, I did.

ERIKA: (laughs) I can't figure how to make it do the thing, but that's a two, a straight two.

MATT: So, in but a flash, there's the sound of heavy wood-on-wood crack! Your fingers let your weapon fly as it arcs--

SAM: Oh shit.

ERIKA: (gasps)

MATT: -- and lands on the ground about 10 feet from you. You are currently disarmed.

ERIKA: (screams)

LIAM: I'm not done, and then I just roll under their legs and swing around and swing in the air and whap them in the butt or attempt to.

TRAVIS: ♪ Whap in the butt ♪

ERIKA: (laughs)

LIAM: That's cocked.

MATT: That's cocked, yeah.

LIAM: That hits. That's a 27.

ERIKA: (gasps) Yep, yep! Oh my god, you get right between the cleft. It sticks there, and I'm like: Oh my god.

LIAM: Like a locker room rat tail (whopping) on your butt, and then I keep rolling and go another 20 feet away and come up to a position, blade in hand, shield up, wooden toy sword at the ready.

MATT: It's your go. The blade is about 10 feet from you in the other direction, and he's about 20 feet from where you're standing now. So it's 30 feet between the blade and him.

ERIKA: Okay, okay.

MATT: What's your speed?

ERIKA: 30.

MATT: So you cannot get your blade and walk to him in the same round.

ERIKA: So the blade is between the two of us.

MATT: No, he rolled away. It's actually behind you. So you're in between the blade and him.

ERIKA: Oh, I turn around and book it towards the sword.

MATT: Right, so it's 10 feet of movement. He's now 30 feet from you, and you have 20 feet of movement left. What are you going to do?

ERIKA: I'm going to ready an action to dodge.

MATT: Dodge action, okay, okay. You watch as she goes into a fully defensive position glaring back at you with a grin. You're up.

LIAM: Orym-- you're quite a bit taller than me, eyes you up and down, looks at your stance, tries to figure a little bit out, and then runs at a-- runs-- shit, I'm just coming at you. (laughter)

MATT: Runs at you to hit.

LAURA: Does this exactly.

SAM: Do a cool move? Nah, I'm just going to hit you real fast. (laughter)

LIAM: Oh boysies, oh boysies.

MARISHA: ♪ Oh boysies ♪

LIAM: Okay, I'm going to run at her and barrel roll again and try to swing the toy sword at her ankle and try to knock her down with an attack.

MATT: Okay, so with disadvantage on the attacks, because they took the dodge action.

LIAM: That is an 18 to hit?

ERIKA: (laughs) You got me.

SAM: Oh man!

TALIESIN: Wow.

LIAM: You have to do another strength save of 16.

MATT: So strength save 16-- this is the first real hit because you disarmed, but you went for the blade, unless you were going to hit.

ERIKA: Oh god!

LIAM: Hmm?

MATT: On the first hit--

MARISHA: You're rolling dog shit, dude.

MATT: -- were you going for the sword or were you going for her?

LIAM: I'm going for Dusk. I'm trying to get my five tags in.

MATT: Okay, so this'll be the second tag.

ERIKA: Yeah, yeah, I rolled a five.

MATT: Okay, so (whoosh)

LIAM: So you're--

ERIKA: Yeah. Fuck! (yells) My baby deer ankles!

LIAM: Then with the Boots of Striding and Springing, I pop 10 feet up in the air--

MATT: Well, now here's a point. You were holding your action-- No, no, you dodged.

ERIKA: To dodge, yeah.

MATT: You dodged, right? Yeah, so never mind, go ahead.

LIAM: All right, he fleas up and I'm going to land one foot on either side of their body and try to bring the wooden sword all the way down and I'm going to come within an inch of their face, and if I fuck it up, I'll-- Well, let's not fuck it up. Oh, I fucked it up. It's an 11.

MATT: 11.

ERIKA: So what happens then?

LIAM: Well, that's, I mean--

ERIKA: You try to--

LIAM: I'm just trying to tag you.

MATT: So he's coming down and you know the move he's going for. How do you react to get out of the way?

ERIKA: I grab the blade and try and flip it.

MATT: Okay, so you go to strike downward. You notice as Dusk just barely dodges out of the way, parrying with a hand, and then as it strikes the ground, grabs hold of it. So for your turn, you can try and disarm him if you want to take your action doing that.

ERIKA: Yes, I do.

MATT: So this is going to be a contested strength.

LIAM: Oh, my strength is balls.

ERIKA: Oh god, same.

ERIKA: Oh, okay, 18.

LIAM: Would you call that cocked or would you call that 16?

LAURA: That's a 16.

TRAVIS: "Would you call that cocked?"

LAURA: You can definitely read that 16.

LIAM: Yeah. This is a--?

MATT: Strength.

LIAM: It's not a save. So that's just a straight 16 for me.

ERIKA: 18.

MATT: So with that, your blade is pulled from your grip.

ERIKA: Pull it, I reverse it, point up towards your neck and go (boops).

LAURA: ♪ ("Work It" by Missy Elliot) Ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod gnaht ♪ (laughter)

TALIESIN: Technically, it would be down towards his neck.

MATT: That's true.

TALIESIN: Technically, it would be down towards his neck, because it's only like--

MATT: That's true.

ERIKA: Oh, I'm on the ground, though, I thought.

MATT: I mean, it's true, but you can use half your movement to get up if you want to because it's your turn now.

ERIKA: Okay. Yeah-- No, yeah, okay, yeah. I get up, I flip it, roll to the side, and hold it up to his neck.

MATT: Okay, all right. So now you have no weapon, but you have your shield. You have his weapon and are holding it aggressively.

ERIKA: And I have an offhand weapon as well.

TRAVIS: Shave and a haircut.

LIAM: What's the offhand weapon, a real weapon?

TALIESIN: The other sword.

ERIKA: No, the sword that I picked up.

LIAM: Oh, so Dusk has picked up both swords.

MATT: Both swords.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: All right, so it's your go.

LIAM: Okay.

SAM: I exchange your sword for a face. (whoosh) (laughter)

LIAM: So the one blade that you got pointed up, I basically monkey grasp the stripper pole and bend backwards and try to wrest it out of your arms.

ERIKA: (laughs)

SAM: There's a monkey stripper pole?

LIAM: No, I'm doing this, and I just throw my body back in an attempt to wrest the toy sword out of your hand.

TRAVIS: ♪ We've been paying attention to the wrong thing ♪

MATT: Okay, so you're attempting to--

LIAM: I'm just trying to pull it out, but--

MATT: Right, not-- the sword or are you trying to take Dusk and pile drive her?

LIAM: No, I'm just trying to take a sword out of Dusk's hand--

MATT: Okay, gotcha.

LIAM: -- so I'm not weaponless.

MATT: So take another, this is a contested strength roll.

ERIKA: I want to-- Okay, what'd you get?

LIAM: 19.

ERIKA: I let him take it and I fling it.

MATT: Okay, so--

ERIKA: Are you going to try and back flip away, or--?

LIAM: I'm assuming my action is just to--

MATT: Exactly, yeah--

LIAM: -- take the sword.

MATT: -- because it's an action to try and do it, unless you have a special ability, like what you have with disarming strike.

ERIKA: Because you grab it assuming that I'm going to also grab it.

LIAM: All I'm trying to do mechanically is take the sword from you.

ERIKA: Okay.

LIAM: Flavor-wise, I threw myself onto my back to try to lever it away more and then, as soon as I know that I have it, I'm going to flea jump away.

MATT: Okay, as a note, there was no resistance in the pull, which does set you a little off-guard as you end up checking, though no major issue there other than just caught off-guard, and you can attempt to flea jump away.

LIAM: Okay, so roll, roll (ping).

MATT: Okay, you do get an attack of opportunity as part of the strike as he darts away.

SAM: Finish him.

ERIKA and TRAVIS: (laugh)

MARISHA: Club him. Holy shit, dude. So bad.

ERIKA: Not great. Nine plus-- is that my dex or?

MARISHA: Oh, it's not as bad as I thought.

MATT: With this weapon, it would be strength.

ERIKA: Okay, then that's a straight nine.

LIAM: Straight nine, spirals away into the air, lands--

ERIKA: (slashing)

LIAM: -- three-point landing with a shield face down on the ground, blade up. That's the end of my turn.

MATT: Okay, now your go.

SAM: Put him in a body bag.

ERIKA and TRAVIS: (laugh)

ERIKA: Oh, wow.

MATT: More folks are starting to gather and watch over the side, some chuckles and some whispers.

MARISHA: Are you each-- are you tied right now?

LIAM: I have three.

ERIKA: I have one.

SAM: So, tied. (laughter)

MARISHA: That's what that means.

ERIKA: I take a run at you, sword outstretched and I leap and jump over you at the last second.

MATT: Okay, make an acrobatics check for me, if you don't mind.

SAM: Like a bunny rabbit.

MARISHA: Parkour.

ERIKA: 12.

ASHLEY: Parkour.

MATT: 12, okay.

LIAM: I'm pretty short. That's why.

MATT: He's very short. So the DC wasn't super high.

ERIKA: All right.

MATT: So yeah, you leap over and land on the other side.

ERIKA: Boom, back of the head.

MATT: All right, roll an attack--

ERIKA: Cool.

MATT: -- as you try and strike from behind.

ERIKA: Yes.

SAM: Come on, come on, come on.

ERIKA: What, are you serious? Strength... 10.

LIAM: I throw my shield onto the back of my head, sensing it's coming.

MATT: All right, that finishes your go, unless you have a bonus action.

ERIKA: I do not.

MATT: Okay, you're up.

ERIKA: I don't think so.

LIAM: Okay, pivot around with the shield in place, drop low and roll under them, and try to stick them in the back twice.

MATT: You got it.

TRAVIS: ♪ Stick them in the back ♪ MARISHA, ERIKA, and LAURA: ♪ Stick them in the back ♪

LIAM: The first one misses, both miss. SAM, ASHLEY, and LAURA: Ooh!

LIAM: A three and a two.

MATT: You are now prepared, no longer caught at the jump and with the roll and the strikes, you're starting to glean the technique that Orym seems to be utilizing to his advantage and in doing so you just (whoosh) dodge out of the way, quick parries with the sword.

LIAM: That's got to be fey shit! ERIKA, TRAVIS, and MATT: (laugh)

ERIKA: Man, so I step over, because you're still--

LIAM: I'm in range.

ERIKA: You're in range. I step around and do, god, what is it called? Fuck.

LIAM: Peepee dance.

ERIKA: Yeah, yeah. The peepee dance.

SAM: Flurry of Blows.

TRAVIS: The peepee dance.

ERIKA: So it'll tap your side.

MATT: Gotcha, so you to bypass the shield.

ERIKA: Go under, yes, to go under shield. A nine.

MARISHA: (laughs)

SAM: Good lord.

ERIKA: (groans)

MARISHA: These dice are rolling like shit.

ERIKA: Instead of whacking off, I hold it there--

LAURA: Instead of whacking...

ERIKA: -- for a second.

MATT: Yeah, all right, Orym.

SAM: (laughs)

LIAM: I smile at Dusk over the top of my shield, and I jam a toy sword down into their foot for a--

ERIKA: Oh ow.

LIAM: -- 21.

ERIKA: Oh, fuck yeah.

MATT: (impacts) It hits the toe. The sting hits that little like (beats) throb in the foot.

ERIKA: Ow!

LIAM: Then I lean away from you since you're leaning into me. I pull the shield away and pivot a bit so that you fall forward a bit and try to spank you as you go by. That is a 17.

MATT: What's your armor class?

ERIKA: (whispers) 16.

LIAM: (whacking)

ERIKA: Fully, I... do I-- Let's see if can roll. See if I make the roll. Yeah, okay, so I go over, I crouch into a tumble, and spring up, but before that you get me full on the ass. (laughter)

ERIKA: You can hear across the courtyard. Everybody else in the deadly underground bunkers can hear this.

MATT: Yeah, about five or six voices in unison go, "Ooh." (laughter)

LIAM: I'm really sorry. That's a little more than I meant to do, and I start gusting to cool the smack. (laughter)

MARISHA: You Gust her ass?

LAURA: Gust.

TRAVIS: You pull a ash mat?

TALIESIN: It's a reverse wind.

SAM: Is he a guster? (laughter)

LIAM: I lean the full three inches because you're so much taller than me and help you back up.

ERIKA: (groans) (sighs)

LIAM: Sorry.

ERIKA: Rousing.

LIAM: Thank you.

ERIKA: No, thank you!

LIAM: It really is not like anything I've encountered before. I'm tempted to say fey.

ERIKA: Probably. Well, thank you for helping me discover a little bit about myself, both about my style and about the tenderness of my, you know. Anyway. (laughter)

ERIKA: Would you mind giving me some pointers?

LIAM: Yeah, I mean, I've never taught anyone, but--

ERIKA: You schooled me already.

LIAM: Pretty good. Tell you what, if we make it through tomorrow, absolutely.

ERIKA: What are you doing tonight?

LIAM: Oh. Um...

LAURA and MARISHA: (laugh)

ERIKA: Sorry, I don't know, sorry. That's fine. It's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's okay.

LIAM: It's really complicated.

ERIKA: Yeah, okay, all right, yeah.

LIAM: You're gorgeous.

ERIKA: No, no, you don't. You do not have to justify it. (laughter)

ERIKA: We're fine. We're fine.

MARISHA: This is fucking scatter shot. (laughter)

LIAM: I... I only like guys.

ERIKA: Great, cool.

LIAM: So it's not a-- and it's more than that. It's complicated. I just start walking away.

ERIKA: What?

LIAM: I'm red in the face.

ERIKA: Wait, it's all right. Do you want to talk about it?

SAM: (laughs)

ERIKA: I mean, no harm, no foul here, right? We're good?

LIAM: Absolutely, absolutely, rain check.

ERIKA: Okay, yeah. (laughter)

MARISHA: Dusk's no good, very bad evening. (laughs)

TRAVIS: I love it.

LIAM: He's really blushing intensely. You can keep the sword. And he just awkwardly walks back towards the marketplace.

ERIKA: I hold out a sword and a hank of hair, and I'm like (groans).

MARISHA: They're little tokens of rejection.

MATT: Yep. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Make a little shadow box thing. (laughter)

ERIKA: My summer. (laughter) (laughter)

TRAVIS: Holy shit!

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: That was good.

TRAVIS: My summer. (laughter)

MATT: Is there any other business for the evening?

TALIESIN: Just--

MARISHA: Don't think so.

TALIESIN: No. Just going to walk back to the room with you and open the door and--

LAURA: Oh, darn, that's what I wanted to add, back to that moment. Who's taking first watch tonight?

TRAVIS: We are.

ASHLEY: I think I am, yes.

MATT: Yes, the two of them.

ASHLEY: Chet and I.

ASHLEY: Can you-- Oh, are you? Okay. Well, if you're-- (laughter)

ASHLEY: We will do everything that you need us to do and get it done for sure.

TRAVIS: Yeah, do you have any requests?

LAURA: If you're taking a watch, if you're really watching.

ASHLEY: For sure. Eyes peeled.

LAURA: Can I request-- I'm just going to lean over to Fearne. Can I request that you keep a close eye on FCG? Because I just feel like they're-- I just want to make sure they're okay and I don't know what exactly is going on.

ASHLEY: Oh, yes. I absolutely will.

LAURA: Okay.

ASHLEY: Just, I'll make sure that FCG's watched.

LAURA: Okay.

ASHLEY: I don't know what that sound was.

LAURA: Okay.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TRAVIS: I'm sure Fearne will be responsible and communicate to me whatever you just told her.

ASHLEY: I will, I will.

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: So that we can both do our job!

LAURA: In your head, I repeat what I just told Fearne.

TRAVIS: (gasps) Ah!

LAURA and LIAM: (laugh)

LAURA: This is why I don't--

TRAVIS: Huh?

LAURA: Nothing.

TRAVIS: Did you need to say it again? Go ahead.

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: (laughs)

LAURA: (flatline beep)

TRAVIS: I'm dying! (laughter)

TRAVIS: Flatline.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: As we go into the room, I am very, very exhausted and I turn and I get way up close to your face. If anyone ever makes you feel bad, I'm going to fucking kill them.

TRAVIS: Ooh.

SAM: I believe you. I really do.

TALIESIN: You're the best of us. Sleep well. I'll fucking kill them. (laughter)

MARISHA: The most ominous compliment. You're the best of us. Sleep well.

SAM: Thank you? (laughter)

MATT: Perfect.

TALIESIN: This is what you picked up in the fucking mine.

SAM: Great.

MATT: All right. So you guys take first watch?

ASHLEY: Yes.

TRAVIS: Yep.

MATT: Roll perception checks, if you'd like.

TRAVIS: 18.

ERIKA: Oh my god.

MARISHA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Perception, where is it? That would be 21.

MATT: 21, okay. Your watch goes by uneventful, thankfully. Relaxing evening. Everyone else is taking the rest, some pushing through levels of anxiety others might not be as strongly steeped in. But nevertheless, you--

TRAVIS: I wanted to show you the progress on the music box.

ASHLEY: Yes. Show me. I was going to ask.

TRAVIS: It's got really brilliant filigree around a nice cursive font that says, To Mama Birdie and Papa Ollie.

ASHLEY: Perfect. (gasps)

TRAVIS: Pretty good, right?

ASHLEY: That is incredible.

TRAVIS: Oh, it's not done. This is just a work in progress, but--

ASHLEY: Oh my gosh, already.

TRAVIS: -- I just wanted to make sure we were in the right direction.

ASHLEY: Absolutely. I didn't know you could write like that. It's so swirly.

TRAVIS: Oh, I'm a wonder with my hands.

ASHLEY: I really bet you are. I can see that.

TRAVIS: But you know, such untreated wood is usually good as-is, but I just wish I had something to add, just little flecks of color in some of the indentations I've made. I just don't have any paints or anything like that.

ASHLEY: Oh. Oh, well, I don't think I have any either, but I think it's beautiful. Just the natural quality to it, and when you carved in it sort of changes the color of the wood, and I think it's perfect.

TRAVIS: Do I believe her?

MATT: Make an insight check. You can make a deception or persuasion, your choice. Based on--

TRAVIS: Ooh. That's not bad.

MATT: Based on what your response means to you.

ASHLEY: Natural one.

TRAVIS: 23.

ASHLEY: 100%. Loves it.

TRAVIS: You do not have paints. I want to know if you have paint or not.

ASHLEY: Oh, you want to know if I have paint?

TRAVIS: Any paints, anything like that.

ASHLEY: Hold on. Let me look at my tchotchkes. (laughter)

TALIESIN: That is a 200-page fucking book.

LAURA: Yeah, that is the biggest--

LIAM: That you can't open.

ASHLEY: There's one page that I have them written down on. I'm not going to read through this whole thing. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Paints and paintbrushes would be good.

ASHLEY: I don't have any. I don't.

TALIESIN: Did you check the index?

ASHLEY: I don't have anything that I think could work for paints.

TRAVIS: I love that you were wondering if I was to ask you-- Of course you fucking love it, it's amazing.

ASHLEY: Yeah, it's amazing. (laughter)

TRAVIS: I don't need to roll for that. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Oh, I thought-- Yeah, no. It's wonderful. How about that FCG thing? What do you think she was talking about?

TRAVIS: Do you have paint? Do you have paints?

ASHLEY: I don't have paints. (laughter)

ASHLEY: I have... (laughter)

SAM: I don't think she painted on Travis.

TRAVIS: That FCG thing?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: What about it? (laughter)

ASHLEY: Well, what do you think is wrong with him? How Imogen was saying something's wrong.

TRAVIS: I mean, he's probably just tired. Fucking busy day.

ASHLEY: Yeah, like he needs a reboot?

TRAVIS: Yeah. You ever stayed up really late and you haven't eaten anything and your blood sugar fucking (yells).

ASHLEY: Oh my god. Yes, and you just plummet. Your energy is--

TRAVIS: Hangry is a term--

ASHLEY: Hangry as all get out.

TRAVIS: -- I coined 300 years ago.

ASHLEY: Hangry?

TRAVIS: Hangry. You're hungry and you're angry.

ASHLEY: (gasps) What a good coupling of words, I've never heard it before. Wow!

TRAVIS: But sometimes you also just have to understand that you got to grab your circumstances by the scruff. You got to find your inner alpha.

ASHLEY: Because RTA.

TRAVIS: Right?

TRAVIS: Yes. You've got to recognize it.

ASHLEY: You got to recognize it.

TRAVIS: Find it within.

ASHLEY: I got to recognize mine.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: (laughs) I'm going to walk over to FCG.

TRAVIS: What are you doing?

ASHLEY: I'm just checking on him.

TRAVIS: Oh, okay.

ASHLEY: I'm going to put my hand on his forehead. Their forehead.

MATT: It's cold. Cold metal.

ASHLEY: Well, he doesn't seem to have a fever. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Do you think he would get a fever?

ASHLEY: Well, I don't know. He's sentient.

TRAVIS: Okay.

ASHLEY: So maybe he could get sick. I'm going to open the eyelids.

TRAVIS: Oh boy.

LIAM: There are no eyelids.

LAURA: There's no eyelids.

ASHLEY: There's no eyelids, that's right.

SAM: Just like (scrapes). (laughter)

ASHLEY: Wait, so your eyes are just open?

LAURA: Yeah, but they dim.

TALIESIN: Lights.

LAURA: I think they dim.

SAM: They're just like glasses. It's like you're scratching glasses.

ASHLEY: What do you look like again?

SAM: What do I look like again.

MARISHA: Flesh tongue, and flesh eyelids. (laughter)

SAM: (screams)

TRAVIS: All of a sudden.

ASHLEY: No, it's cursed!

ERIKA: He can do that thing where he flips them inside out!

LIAM: No! (laughter)

ASHLEY: I always wished I could do that.

MATT: I hate it. Not canon, nope, continue.

LAURA: I love that slowly over time, you're just going to get covered in skin.

TALIESIN: Someone's going to make a Snapchat filter.

ASHLEY: I'm going to lean my ear--

LAURA: He's a real boy!

ASHLEY: -- on their chest.

MATT: Okay. You listen in?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: There's a very, very low, low hum, if anything. But yeah.

ASHLEY: I don't know what I'm trying to accomplish right now. (laughter)

TRAVIS: I thought maybe you had a plan or former specialty in, I don't know, machinery.

ASHLEY: I do. But I just was wondering if I would maybe hear clanking or something falling apart on the inside if he's not feeling well. But--

TRAVIS: If you did hear something, do you think you would be the one to fix said problem?

ASHLEY: Yes.

TRAVIS: Yes, of course. Okay.

ASHLEY: Yeah. I mean, I don't have that much experience, but I feel like if it came down to it and I had to fix FCG, his insides, I probably would know how.

TRAVIS: I'm sorry about your postcards.

ASHLEY: Oh, there's nothing to be sorry about. I was really glad that you were able to glean some information from them.

TRAVIS: Okay.

ASHLEY: Is there anything else that you got? No?

TRAVIS: No.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TRAVIS: You know, everybody here cares about you a ton so I think they just hate to see you hurt, but it's also okay if you want to, you know, tell us anything.

ASHLEY: Well. I mean, I guess I didn't tell this to anybody. I pull out a little gem, a little green gem. My Nana gave this to me so that if I found my parents ever that this was a very important gem that I had to give them when I saw them because it would help them save the world, I guess. So this is a very important piece of the puzzle.

TRAVIS: That's incredible. What is it?

ASHLEY: I don't know. (laughter)

MATT: Make an arcana check, if you'd like.

TRAVIS: Sure!

LIAM: More excellent mime work.

LAURA and ERIKA: (laugh)

TRAVIS: You know it.

LAURA: I saw the gem. I saw it!

TRAVIS: 19? No, 18, sorry.

MATT: 18.

MARISHA: That's pretty good.

MATT: When you look through it and move it around it plays in what little bit of light there is in the room in an odd way. It seems like some of the shadows flatten a bit, just slightly to the point where you're like, this isn't just glass or a gem, there's something special to it. Looking along the way it's cut, you can see there's faint grooves along the edges of it and it's about that big. The grooves on the sides look like they are built to carry some sort of enchantment. So it definitely seems to have some enchantment within the gem.

TRAVIS: This is amazing.

ASHLEY: Isn't it beautiful?

TRAVIS: Yeah. I mean, can I give it a sniff?

ASHLEY: Of course.

TRAVIS: Any kind of a scent, trace, anything that's new?

MATT: Where were you keeping it?

TRAVIS: Nature's pocket.

ASHLEY: Between my belt and my dress.

MATT: It smells very much like sweaty fur and a little bit of leather.

TRAVIS: (sighs deeply)

LAURA: Ew.

ASHLEY: Are you getting anything off of it?

TRAVIS: You know, just the scent of everywhere, it's so decadent. This is amazing, you should guard this. It clearly has some magical properties that I don't understand.

ASHLEY: I think so, too. I just...

TRAVIS: Your Nana gave that to you to give to your parents?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Your Nana was also from the Feywild? What did she do? Was she a powerful sorcerer? Did she rule anything? Did she make stuff?

ASHLEY: She's just my grandmother. I mean, she's very artistic. She's an excellent cook. But, you know, we live away from everything and we live a pretty nice and quiet life and I very much enjoy her company. She is one of my very best friends. She's the only one who's really taken care of me. So, I know her so much better than I know my parents, but I wonder if they'll remember.

TRAVIS: Boy, I hope they do.

ASHLEY: I do, too.

TRAVIS: Don't worry, if it gets weird, we'll fuck them up for you.

ASHLEY: Okay. Where are your parents?

TRAVIS: Oh. I haven't thought about that in a long time.

ASHLEY: Oh.

TRAVIS: Boy, it's been a couple of centuries, at least. I left pretty early because I knew I wanted to go into the trade, but I jumped around a lot. It wasn't until a long time later that I came home and they were gone.

ASHLEY: Your parents-- What do you mean?

TRAVIS: Well, I had a couple of siblings and they all scattered, too, but they just never really stayed in one place so when I went back home, they were just-- they'd moved on, didn't really leave word.

ASHLEY: Oh.

TRAVIS: Oh, it's not a bad thing. It's kind of common.

ASHLEY: Oh, it is?

TRAVIS: Yeah, we didn't have a tight familial thing or anything like that.

ASHLEY: Oh, okay.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

ASHLEY: So you guys just are raised and then you're thrown out of the nest?

TRAVIS: Not thrown. Just curiosity takes hold and you just find a passion and follow it.

ASHLEY: Wow.

TRAVIS: Yeah. I meant to go back earlier and I just didn't and they were gone.

ASHLEY: Do you want to go back again?

TRAVIS: No.

ASHLEY: Oh. All right.

TRAVIS: I'm all about life's, you know, what happens the next day.

ASHLEY: Yeah. Just moving forward.

TRAVIS: Mm-hmm. Kind of like you.

ASHLEY: Yeah, absolutely, I go with the flow and just keep on going.

TRAVIS: Yeah, the flow.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Listen, I meant to give you this. You know, it's not the right time, but I made yours first. If you ever want to roll with the flow, this is for you.

ASHLEY: Oh my goodness!

MARISHA: It's so pretty!

ASHLEY: Chetney!

TRAVIS: Yeah, you know. Sometimes you got to take a ride on the wild side so, you know. The invitation's out there, but there's been some personal shit tonight, so it feels a little tone deaf. (laughter) (laughter)

TALIESIN: Oh! Feels like the punchline to the longest joke I've ever heard.

ASHLEY: I just think that this is just the way to make things better. I honestly just feel so much better just because of this. This is probably my favorite thing I have.

TRAVIS: I know. Just remember, when it feels like you're getting moved around by life, just grab it and let it know who the alpha is.

ASHLEY: Okay. Thank you.

TRAVIS: You're welcome.

ASHLEY: Well, I guess I'll wake up who's next.

TRAVIS: No, no, no, I got to keep working on this music box. You just keep an eye out.

ASHLEY: Okay. I will. I just sit next to FCG and just play with the three sprigs of hair.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: His cables?

ASHLEY: His cables.

MATT: The head cables, yeah.

MARISHA: Now it's hair, it's canon.

LAURA: Gross!

TALIESIN: Hair, eyelids, tongue.

MATT: Stop making this the most nightmarish Pinocchio story ever!

LIAM: It's just some cadaver hair that's been put there.

MATT: Oh, I hate it!

TRAVIS: Stroking the head cables.

LAURA: What if every bit of lore that gets dropped about FCG, more human parts appear?

MATT: Ugh!

ERIKA: Where are you getting these?

ASHLEY: I put them in a braid.

TALIESIN: I find them around.

LIAM: At the end of the campaign, they're just Leatherface.

TALIESIN: Kind of already in the direction, really.

SAM: I have elbow skin all of a sudden.

TALIESIN: Like jacket patches!

ERIKA: There's elbow patches, yeah.

TALIESIN: Patches and a pipe.

LIAM: But it's wattle.

MATT: We'll say, for the sake of brevity, that the remainder of the night's watches go without issue and seeing as how we should probably get to a brief respite ourselves here for a minute.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: We're going to go ahead and take a break. (cheering)

MATT: Our-- the long night first half of the session.

SAM: Sorry, Matt. Sorry, buddy.

MATT: Oh, don't apologize to me.

MARISHA: A long, dark night.

MATT: Yeah, this is all-- Don't apologize to me, this is--

MARISHA: That last episode was a lot. We all had to process.

MATT: Exactly.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yes. We had a lot we needed to discuss.

MATT: Trust me, it's easy on me, I don't have to do much when you guys talk to each other like this. But yeah, we'll back here in a few minutes to pick up in the following morning and the events that may transpire thereafter. So, see you in a few minutes.

TRAVIS: Yes!

Part II
MATT: And welcome back. So, the night now completed, the morning is yours. The sun rises across the Hellcatch.

MARISHA: Oh boy.

MATT: Your plans for the day of Bassuras are before you. What would you like to do?

MARISHA: To the...

LAURA: I guess we should just head straight over, right?

TALIESIN: We're supposed to check in. So, this will go great. Let's go.

LIAM: Can't dance around it forever.

MARISHA: Yep.

TALIESIN: So we're going to make our way...

ALL: ♪ Makin' our way ♪

TALIESIN: Thank you.

MARISHA: To the Seat of Disdain!

TALIESIN: Seat of Disdain.

MATT: All right. Early-ish in the morning. We'll say you arrive probably two hours off of dawn. As you approach the familiar outer walls of the Seat of Disdain, following the paths, where you had previously cased the location itself. There was the front gate and a back gate. Which do you approach and which of you are doing so?

LAURA: Oh, right.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we've gone over this. We split up.

ALL: Yeah.

LAURA: We're hanging back.

TALIESIN: I think the back gate is funnier.

TRAVIS: It's your town.

ERIKA: Funnier?

TALIESIN: Yeah, the back gate.

MATT: Okay.

ERIKA: You mean back-- Nevermind.

ASHLEY: -- Door?

TALIESIN: Well, that too. That's funny, too.

ERIKA: Nobody calls it a back gate.

TRAVIS: No?

TALIESIN: I live with some weird people, apparently.

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: So we're just going to be stuck outside in the--

TRAVIS: ♪ Open your back gate ♪

TRAVIS and TALIESIN: ♪ Baby ♪

LAURA: Should we not go in at all? We're not going to go in at all. We're going to stay outside?

MARISHA: Just try and stay nearby.

ERIKA: Ooh. Or if you want to come in, you can turn into a little mouse and be in my pocket.

ASHLEY: What do we think? Do we need extra backup?

LAURA: I mean, I think more hands--

ERIKA: If things go south--

LAURA: -- in there...

ERIKA: -- I think we might need more power.

ASHLEY: Let me... Okay, start planning and I'm going to turn into something.

MARISHA: Druid panic. I recognize it.

LIAM: How are we going to bust that door open if we need to get in in a hurry? I mean, how are *we* going to bust that door open?

SAM: I have an item on order. We can go over and pick it up.

MARISHA: Oh yes!

LAURA: Before we head--

SAM: It's a breacher. It's a breacher device.

LAURA: So, we just breach on in.

TALIESIN: Just go pick that up--

LAURA: If something goes south, just fully create some sort of event.

SAM: It would have to be very south.

LAURA: All right.

SAM: Have to be very south.

ERIKA: We got a big bomb.

TRAVIS: I know.

LAURA: Yeah, let's stop by there before we head over then and--

MARISHA: Pick up the boom boom.

LAURA: All right.

MATT: Okay, so before heading to the exterior here, you instead go to Finders Takers to meet up with Esmer?

SAM: Yes. That's who is building our bomb, yes?

MATT: Indeed.

SAM: Yes.

MATT: You approach and it is currently not open.

MARISHA: (groans)

MATT: Or at least it hasn't yet opened. It's still an early enough morning for Esmer.

SAM: Well, you all go ahead and I'll wait here. I'll wait here until we get it. Then I'll...

LAURA: Were you going to go in?

SAM: Well, yeah. This is where the object is.

LAURA: No, I mean, were you going to go in with--

SAM: No.

LAURA: All right, all right.

ASHLEY: I feel like I going to get something from there, though. Something else.

SAM: Just like shopping?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

SAM: (laughs)

LAURA: I think, probably you bought everything yesterday.

ASHLEY: Well, I just really wanted a tiny pepperbox for Little Mister, because I feel like my monkey needed a pepperbox.

MARISHA: You want to give the monkey a gun?

ASHLEY: To put his flame seeds in.

SAM: (laughs)

LIAM: I've read that issue of "Hellboy."

ASHLEY: Like a little, a little pepperbox for him.

SAM: I can order one for you because she'll probably have to custom make a smaller one for the little hand.

ASHLEY: Yeah, little hands. Flaming shit goes inside and then... So, something that will be okay with heat.

SAM: Sure.

ASHLEY: Okay.

ERIKA: Yes.

ASHLEY: My monkey just needs a pepperbox. Okay. I'm going to turn. I'm just going to do my regular. I'm just going to be a little rat. Just get in your pocket.

LIAM: I hope de Rolo is proud.

TALIESIN: de Rolo is spinning. Spinning constantly, like it's generating electricity for all of Whitestone. Just spinning.

LAURA: Before we leave, you hear in your head: Are you sure you're all right being by yourself? Do you need company?

SAM: Oh, you hear in your head back: If I'm not, I can reach out to you.

LAURA: All right. All right.

ASHLEY: Wait, you're going to be alone?

SAM: Oh, I'm just going to wait until the store opens. Then I'm going to follow up and come over.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: What if you're abducted?

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: Kidnapped robot.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

LAURA: That's true. I'm going to stay with you.

ERIKA: Robotnapped!

MARISHA: Yeah, robitnapped.

LAURA: I'm going to stay with you and I'll meet up...

LIAM: There is zero reason for us not to wait 'til the store opens, get what we want and go out to that place *all together*, so we are *all* ready to deal with whatever comes.

ERIKA: Well, that sounds very complicated.

TRAVIS: Yeah, boring.

MARISHA: (laughs)

SAM: We don't know when this store's going to open. She might not open today at all.

LAURA: Is it a tent--

LIAM: We can't show up in two hours?

LAURA: -- or is it a real store?

SAM: Because they're going to come to us.

MATT: It's a building.

TALIESIN: Is there a sign on the door that says what time they open?

LIAM: Do they know where in the city we are?

MATT: You go and check and it just says, closed. You glance around. There is another sign that's scrawled on the right-hand side. It's a little off kilter. But it says, "Opens when I feel like it."

TRAVIS: (laughs)

LAURA: (urgently knocks)

TALIESIN: That's the spirit.

TRAVIS: That's a good way to get the thing that we want.

MATT: No response.

TALIESIN: Is there an apartment above the... No, it's a tent. Never mind.

MATT: No, the roof is blackened in places from fires and/or explosions.

TALIESIN: That's fair.

MARISHA: Ashton mentioned that they wanted a breakfast beer, anyway. So we can go get some quick breakfast.

TALIESIN: Thank god, my head is killing me. Yes. That would be great.

MARISHA: Come back and then go.

MATT: For the ease of the narrative, you acquire your breakfast beer. Catch up a bit.

LAURA: We are wasting time.

TALIESIN: Kill some time.

MATT: As you arrive, let's say about an hour and a half later, the shop does appear to be open now. The sign is adjusted.

MARISHA: All right, let's get it and go!

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: Okay, you walk inside and there you see Esmer is currently in the process of snacking on some sort of a... a heavy breaded sandwich. It's mostly just bread with some sort of slop or like a thick sauce in the middle, but just soaked into it. And you watch. She's currently reading. Looks like a small ledger and breaking off parts of it and just chewing on it before glancing up.

SAM: Smiley day to you. We came for a-- hi.

MATT: "Hello. Good morning."

SAM: Ah... Are you open yet?

MATT: "Yeah, I'm open."

SAM: Well, we're here to buy our item. We were here yesterday.

ASHLEY: Picking up our explosive.

MATT: "Okay. Some people don't come back and I just get to keep the money. So just making sure."

ASHLEY: Not today.

MATT: "So it's not the most inconspicuous thing, but it will definitely do the job of which was promised." She goes around and opens up a case and as she stops and then carefully and gingerly pulls this thing out and sets it onto the edge of the table where she was sitting. What you see, it looks like a leather backpack. But it is* packed to the brim*. As she releases it and carefully opens the front, on the inside, you can see a similar material the dynamite's wrapped in, but it is wrapped in a spherical shape around this oddly... It would be round, if it weren't so bulbous in places. It looks like a whole manner of contraptions and heavily packed explosives have been placed within this device. She shows in the front. "Now, I can give you a fuse option as well as an arcane detonation option. So you either can just light the fuse or for little extra money, you can take this and it'll light fuse for you anywhere between five and 10 minutes."

LAURA: How much is that little extra bit?

MATT: "It's an additional 20 gold pieces."

TALIESIN: I'll throw that cash down. Hell.

LAURA: How delicate is this?

MATT: "Quite. (laughs) I mean, you can carry it fine in the backpack which is why I placed it where it is. But you don't want it to be jostled too much. You definitely don't want to get it near any fire. Definitely don't want to... Just don't do anything with it, really, except for move it."

LAURA: All right.

TALIESIN: How much for the case?

LAURA: That's part of it. I assume that's-

TALIESIN: The case comes with it?

MATT: "Yeah. The backpack is part of it. That's how you would carry it."

TALIESIN: Well, I mean, the backpack was in a case that you pulled it out of.

MATT: "Oh, no. This is my storage case."

TALIESIN: All right. Okay. 20 gold. All right.

MATT: "20 gold."

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: You watch as she shows you this device. It's a piece of polished stone, almost like a river stone. But on the front of it, there is a small, almost like a secondary portion of the stone that she rotates it and turns it. As it does, these little lights blink on around the outskirts of it. "You go ahead and set it. It's one minute per one of these little notches, up to 10. It'll count down and then you go ahead and stick it." She pulls back the opening once more, and there is a fuse insertion point on this device, "Place it on here, and it will ignite when it counts down."

LAURA: All right.

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: Who wants to wear an explosive backpack?

ASHLEY: I can wear it.

TALIESIN: We do have a magic black hole.

SAM: You're going to be an animal?

LIAM: I'll do it.

LAURA: Is it okay? Is it too big for you?

LIAM: Is it too big for me?

TRAVIS: Will it negate some of his nimbleness?

MATT: Your strength is...?

LIAM: 10

MATT: 10. I mean, it's not comfortable. But you can carry it. I'd say it weighs about 35 pounds. So you can carry it, but it definitely, if you were to stand up straight, you would start to fall back a bit. So you have to compensate by hunching a little bit.

TALIESIN: I still don't know why--

MATT: But you can do it.

TALIESIN: -- we just don't put it--

LIAM: Well, it's--

TALIESIN: -- in the hole.

LAURA: Because it gets jostled around.

TALIESIN: That's fair.

LIAM: Well, we want it for the outside crew. Yeah?

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: To get in.

LAURA: So maybe FCG wears it.

SAM: Sure.

LAURA: You have a pretty smooth gait.

ERIKA: Or can you put it inside--

SAM: I do. I already wear a backpack.

ASHLEY: In your tummy?

SAM: I'll just swap it out.

TRAVIS: Things start to melt inside of--

LAURA: What's in your backpack now? Should I carry your backpack? (laughs)

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Okay. I'll take FCG's backpack and put it on, and then you can put on the...

SAM: Great.

MATT: All right. "Well, it's been a pleasure doing business. If you come across Dancer at all, tell her I say hi."

SAM: Yeah, yeah. I'm going to reach out soon.

MATT: "Okay." Motherfucker.

SAM: Oh, well, you said it was inconspicuous, so no one would see.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MARISHA and LIAM: (laugh)

ASHLEY: Question.

MATT: You've been wearing that the whole time?

ASHLEY: Yes.

SAM: Just now.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Since break. (laughter)

LIAM: You literally just saw it?

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: It's been staring at you for eight minutes.

MATT: I've been in the world.

SAM: He's *in* the story! He's immersed! (laughter)

LAURA: We're terrible. He's amazing.

ASHLEY and LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: (laughs)

LIAM: I just thought you were above it. I was like, man. Cool as a cucumber.

SAM: He's just cool--

ASHLEY: He's like, "I'm not even going to address this."

MATT: No. (laughter)

ERIKA: You treat this as, "You must ignore the child."

ASHLEY: Yes.

LAURA: What did you want to say, Fearne?

ASHLEY: I wanted to actually see. Do you have, kind of like baby-sized pepperboxes?

MARISHA: Just the way you phrased that.

SAM: My first pepperbox?

ASHLEY: Yeah. Almost for a child.

MATT: "No."

ASHLEY: What's the smallest one that you have?

MATT: "The standard size."

ASHLEY: What's the standard size?

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: Pulls up and you see it's about that long, thick barrel, big handle. It's a fairly decent size.

LIAM: That's a big shotgun.

ASHLEY: Would you mind if my monkey just tried it out?

SAM: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Just to see if it fits in his hands? Just to see if it's a possibility for him at all?

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: Oh my fucking god.

TRAVIS: I bet this DC's really high.

LIAM: You thought Ripley was bad.

MARISHA: Yeah. Because I would want to see what happens.

TALIESIN: God fucking damn it.

ASHLEY: That would be...

TALIESIN: Nothing good has ever come from that decision.

ASHLEY: 28.

SAM: (guffaws)

TRAVIS: No fucking way.

MARISHA: What?

ASHLEY: I rolled a natural 19.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

ASHLEY: I have a very high persuasion.

LIAM: Wait, what was the roll for?

MATT: "You have a monkey?"

LIAM: Persuasion?

ASHLEY: Yes. Come on!

MATT: (monkey oohs)

LIAM: Oh my god.

MATT: (monkey chitters)

ASHLEY: Okay, Mister. I was just trying to see if maybe we could get you something that you could put your flame seeds, your poo into, and then you just pew-pew. Just shoot it, maybe have better aim.

MATT: "That's not how it works."

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: "Hello, monkey."

ASHLEY: Does it fit his hands?

MATT: It's about the size of Mister, just slightly smaller. So, Mister was like... and reaches out. It's like a baby holding a remote. It's not--

SAM and MATT: (laugh)

MATT: It's not compatible.

LIAM: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Do you like it?

MATT: (monkey hooting)

ASHLEY: Is it too big?

MATT: (snarling)

LAURA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Okay. I'll find you a smaller one. Okay? All right. Come on.

MATT: He looks back at her. (monkey disapproval) Little flames like (whooshes) as the flames rise up off of Mister for a second. "Ah! Uh. Get him out."

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: "Not here."

ASHLEY: It's fine. It's fine. It's fine.

MATT: "Not here!"

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: Points to three different things that look like they could probably be flammable in the vicinity.

ASHLEY: Oh.

LIAM: That's right. It's a fire monkey.

ASHLEY: Bye-bye.

TRAVIS and MARISHA: Uh-huh!

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LIAM and MATT: (laugh)

LAURA: Probably the worst combo ever.

MARISHA: There's a bomb still on the counter.

LIAM: I think a plain monkey with a gun is a bad idea, too. (laughter)

MARISHA: A bomb on FCG!

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: There's no good answer here.

MARISHA: No.

TALIESIN: Thank you. Thank you. Someone had to say it. I'm glad it was you.

ERIKA: Unless...

TALIESIN: No.

LIAM: Some mage is going to imbue that monkey with dark intelligence.

MATT: ♪ Unless ♪ All right.

ASHLEY: Onward ho.

LAURA: On the way out, after everybody's left, can I hang back for a second?

MATT: Sure.

LAURA: You knew Dancer? Know Dancer?

MATT: "Yes and yes."

LAURA: Sorry. Do you mind me asking what did she look like?

MARISHA: Yes.

LAURA: Does she look like, I'm sorry I keep...

MATT: "Dark black hair. Kind of olive skin and a bit of fuzz fur on the edges."

LAURA: All right.

MATT: "Tattoo of a star on the right cheek."

LAURA: You said fuzz fur on the edges. Is she a... firbolg?

MATT: "I actually never really asked. Not the kind of question you toss into a conversation."

LAURA: Yeah, you're right. All right. What kind of relationship did she have with FCG?

MATT: "I don't know who FCG is."

LAURA: Oh, my small mechanical companion.

MATT: "Oh, right. I mean, she kept them. One of many different contraptions that she built and worked on or scavenged and renovated."

LAURA: Did she treat them like they were special?

MATT: "I mean, she was proud of them."

LAURA: Okay. Would you say that Dancer is a good person?

MATT: "Dancer's a complicated person, but I would say, in comparison to this place, shining."

LAURA: All right. Thank you very much for your troubles. I'll pass the silver across the counter.

MATT: "All right."

LAURA: All right.

MATT: Goes back to eating her sandwich.

ASHLEY: Well, all right.

MARISHA: Seat of Disdain, Seat of Disdain, Seat of Disdain?

TALIESIN: Oh, yes please.

MATT: Okay. So as you return to the Seat of Disdain in the central neighborhood that it's settled in, you can see the high walls and the stronghold pushing beyond that boundary with its own guard perches and balconies. Occasionally, you can see the sentries of the Paragon's Call keeping watch and cruising along the parapet with all manner of heavy crossbows and/or rifles at the ready. The team that was planning to go forward, you're going in the back door? Back gate?

TALIESIN: Does the back gate seem a little bit more subdued, subtle?

MATT: They're both massive, but you can tell there's a size difference. The main gate itself is like 15 feet, 20 feet. The other side is about, let's say 10 by 15. So it's slightly smaller, but you know.

TALIESIN: That'll do. I'll knock there.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: I am going to go over to Dusk, turn myself into a little rat, and scurry up and get into their pocket.

MATT: Okay. The rest of you, what are you doing? The folks who are not approaching.

SAM: What are we doing?

TRAVIS: That's you two, twins.

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Huh?

SAM: Who aren't paying attention.

MATT: What else are you doing, Orym?

LIAM: We're talking about this game.

LAURA: We're figuring out what we're going to do.

SAM: Sure, sure, sure.

MATT: No, I was just asking what are you guys doing right now while they're going up?

TRAVIS: That's my wife's lying face right there.

LIAM: Immediately after we left the shop, Orym immediately fell in next to FCG and is staying within three or four feet of him at all times.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Just as a side note.

SAM: They're going in the back--

TRAVIS: Nope.

SAM: -- the back gate.

LIAM: Yeah.

SAM: Some people call it a back door.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: Should we go in the front, near--

LAURA: I feel like we should just head to a little cafe or something and chill--

LIAM: I don't really--

LAURA: -- so that we can see what's going on, but we're within--

TALIESIN: Yeah, okay.

SAM: Oh okay, like across the street.

LIAM: I lead them to the--

ERIKA: (laughs)

LAURA: Is that shitty? Is that dumb?

LIAM: -- dilapidated building that Laudna hid out in--

MATT: You got it.

LIAM: -- the other day. There is no cafe.

LAURA: Loud-na.

LIAM: Loud-na.

TRAVIS: All of a sudden it's Loud-na.

MARISHA: How did this happen?

TALIESIN: All of them allow smoking on the patios.

LIAM: Isn't it--

TALIESIN: There's nowhere comfortable to sit.

LIAM: -- because of laudanum.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Laudanum.

TRAVIS: Laudna.

ERIKA: I assumed that that was why you--

TALIESIN: Laudna.

LAURA: Is it Loud-na or Laudna?

LIAM: I don't know.

MARISHA: That's where I get it from.

TALIESIN: Laudanum.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: Laudanum.

TALIESIN: Laudanum.

ERIKA: That's good laudanum.

MATT: But-- Indeed. Not so much a plethora of cafes to choose from in the environment, but Orym--

LAURA: It's not like Paris, where you can just sit and have some wine.

LIAM: There's a Panera Bread one and a half blocks that way.

TALIESIN: It's rough, though.

MATT: Yeah, and three Subways.

TRAVIS: There's a little crepe station.

MARISHA: Three Subways.

TALIESIN: No one goes in there, man.

TRAVIS: Some Grand Marnier and Nutella.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: It's dark.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: But Orym does lead your troop towards a partially collapsed building of which he had become familiar with the previous day while keeping an eye on the Seat of Disdain.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: So while you wait there, first off, I would like you all to roll a group stealth check for those who are--

LIAM: Outside.

MATT: -- heading into that space outside.

MARISHA: As we head in, I'm going to just do a quick range check to Imogen, and just send her a message and just say: Imogen, check one, two. Check one, two.

MATT: (creepy whispering)

LAURA: I am here.

TALIESIN: One, two.

LAURA: Am I good?

MARISHA: Don't go too far. (creepy whispering)

MATT: All right.

LAURA: I missed that.

MARISHA and LIAM: (laugh)

LAURA: 20 for stealth.

MATT: 20.

LIAM: Natural 20.

MATT: Great.

SAM: Nine. Just wanted to throw it out there before we separate from the other group.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

SAM: I was supposed to, and I will--

LAURA: Mm.

SAM: -- cast something on you to help you with your persuasion--

MARISHA: We talked about this.

SAM: -- and charm. Right? I will throw--

TALIESIN: Deception, persuasion, any of it.

SAM: I will do a, whatever Enhance Ability.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

SAM: It's the one for charisma, right?

MATT: Something Splendor, if I remember.

SAM: Owl's Wisdom, no.

MARISHA and SAM: Eagle's Splendor.

MATT: Eagle's Splendor, yes. So you have an advantage on charisma checks for the next hour.

TALIESIN: Oh, thank god, because my charisma checks are really, really bad. Really bad.

SAM: Okay. But nine for stealth.

MATT: Which makes sense, and you're being very careful with this satchel on your back, but the rest of your group is very, very good at trying to facilitate your maneuvering, and getting to a space where you're no longer directly visible by the light. While the rest of you head towards the back gate of the Seat of Disdain. As you begin to approach, you can see some of the sentries clock you and your arrival, and begin to gather along the wall and start talking to each other a bit. Looking down, one of them shouts, "Hey, what's your business?"

TALIESIN: Uh, here to see, uh, uh, Rake? Uh, Rake sent me, uh--

LIAM: Tanvir.

TALIESIN: Tanvir, Rake.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: "Someone here for Tanvir."

TALIESIN: Did any of you call him The Rake? (laughter)

MATT: "He calls him The Rake."

TALIESIN: I fucking knew it. (laughter)

ASHLEY and LAURA: I fucking knew it. (laughter)

ERIKA: Even with advantage!

MATT: There's a pause, and there's some chuckling and some conversation. Then you watch as dwarven figure with a mohawk approaches the top of the wall and looks down at you and goes, "Oh, I remember you."

TALIESIN: Hi.

TRAVIS: Don't wave. What the fuck?

TALIESIN: Well, doesn't fucking see me.

TRAVIS: Be tough.

TALIESIN: Told us to come on by, we're coming on by.

MATT: "Why are you looking for work? You said you know Ratanish?"

TALIESIN: Yeah, I know Ratanish. Are we literally going to do this outside, or can we not yell?

MATT: "Let me go get Ratanish."

TALIESIN: Fine.

MATT: "Open the gate." He turns around and some of the folks look at each other. One of them makes a large rotating arm motion in the air, over the side, and then a moment later you hear, (large door opening) The two main doors begin to shift inward, revealing the interior of the courtyard from this other side. This is on the back end of the central stronghold of the Seat of Disdain. All eyes are on you. In the courtyard now, you can see what, at least what you experienced when you first went through here, the half dozen or so individuals that were here. There was maybe four or five that were patrolling, and now others are coming out of the citadel to see what the hell this weird, interesting, unexpected commotion is. As you all step inside, they form a semi-circle to the point where you can enter the courtyard, but you get the sense immediately that you're not supposed to step too far in. One of them puts up a hand. "Wait. They're getting the general."

TRAVIS: How many bodies in this courtyard, ish?

MATT: Now there's eight of them. And, you can see at an immediate glance on the nearby wall parapets, as well as the balconies of the stronghold itself, an additional five that are paying attention to you.

TRAVIS: Cool.

MATT: When I say paying attention to you, it's like looking at you, but they're also looking over the wall. They're still keeping--

TRAVIS: Doing the lifeguard sweep?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: An awkward two minutes or so of just people staring--

TALIESIN: (whistles)

MATT: -- talking to each other, some of them chuckling under their breath, one of them spitting in the dirt. All wearing their casual mismatch of armor. The only continuation you can see between them now that you have seen more Paragon's Call and been around, there are themes of gold or brass bands on parts of the armor, and things that match that Duskmaven pendant, which you can see a consistency that they all seem to wear. Eventually, a crew of two more figures emerge from the citadel. One of them is the familiar visage of General Ratanish. The large, half-giant figure briskly walks up and looks over.

TALIESIN: Hey.

MATT: "Well, this is very unexpected."

TALIESIN: Oh yeah. I know, I know. It's good to see you.

MATT: "Quite unexpected."

TALIESIN: Well, honestly, I've had a little, uh, little work up here, and doing a few favors for a few friends and visiting some old haunts. I'm actually born and raised, would you believe, of course you would believe, look at me. I figured I was going to hit you up for maybe some, I don't know, if you ever got some smuggling, some bodyguard work, I figured since I'm going to be up here for a little while. Except your asshole over here, Rake, whatever his name is. I'm so sorry. I can't keep these things in my head.

MATT: "The Rake."

TALIESIN: I know. He interrupted us on our time, and so I am forced to put this offer forward way before I was expecting to, and make a scene out of it because of this fucker.

MATT: Make a deception check.

TALIESIN: Is it deception?

LIAM: Come on.

TALIESIN: Was I really actually lying?

MATT: Well, actually I'll say you can choose between the two, depending on the angle you're pushing.

TALIESIN: I'm angling for persuasion, not deception.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Which is good for this natural 20 that I just rolled.

MATT: Oh shit. (cheering)

TRAVIS: There you go.

ERIKA: Good shit.

MARISHA: Best Ashton's ever sounded.

MATT: Honestly, there was a tension on the arrival. You can see a little bit of math behind the eyes, and a reticence to this unexpected arrival. But they quickly slacken and lean onto the back foot as he glances over the troop and goes, "Huh. I'm glad our conversation took root."

TALIESIN: Oh yeah, no, I was fascinated by what you were talking about. I mean, when I lived here, Paragon, really? Getting out of the town? It's nuts.

MATT: "Trust me, it's been a-- Otohan has definitely been changing the way we run business for the better. We are expanding beyond just the dust of the Hellcatch."

TALIESIN: Well, I can tell you some other people I know in town will be happy that you guys are spreading out and maybe giving them a little more room, or maybe you'll be holding on to what you have here. Well done, regardless.

MATT: "Who are your companions?"

TALIESIN: Oh god. Just a few friends--

TRAVIS: I'll start. I mean, if we're naming ourselves after the instruments we use, you can call me Chisel. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Oh my god.

MATT: "That's a very--"

TRAVIS: It's a finesse tool, but I mean, it could be pretty damaging in the right hands.

MATT: "I know what a chisel is."

TRAVIS: Oh, okay.

TALIESIN: I want to see him use a rake, actually, now that you mention that. I want to really see what that looks like. Sorry.

MATT: "Tanvir, you have a rake?" He's like, "No, I don't have-- That's not what it means."

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MARISHA: Are you trying to make Rake happen?

SAM: (laughs)

MATT: "No, it's--"

MARISHA: It's just a self-proclaimed title?

ERIKA: You can't give your--

ERIKA and MARISHA: -- self a nickname.

TRAVIS: Someone else has to bestow upon you.

TALIESIN: I mean, if you made a crazy-ass rake then, I don't know, beheaded somebody with it--

MATT: "Fuck all you." He just walks off.

TALIESIN: I was just trying to help. I really-- Oh fuck.

MATT: "It's all right."

TRAVIS: This lovely person.

ERIKA: I'm Dusta.

MATT: "Dusta?"

MARISHA: Dusta?

SAM: Good alias.

ASHLEY: Good.

MATT: "All right. So we have Chisel and Dusta. And?"

MARISHA: I'm Nightmare.

SAM: Mm.

MARISHA: I don't have a weapon, really. I don't know what tools I have--

TRAVIS: Nightmare's good.

TALIESIN: You are your tool.

MARISHA: I am my tool.

LAURA: Uh-oh.

MATT: "Hmm."

TALIESIN: (laughs)

ERIKA: But the other thing is, is that he referred to himself as Tanvir, The Rake.

TRAVIS: I know.

ERIKA: So we can't be--

TALIESIN: I know they're ridiculous, but I swear to god--

ERIKA: -- Chisel.

TALIESIN: -- I've actually been making a ton of money with these fucking people. Better money than I've made in a long time.

MATT: "So, okay. All right."

TALIESIN: I'm just putting it out here. Probably going to be here for a week or two, maybe longer and--

ERIKA: Better go to you guys than the Fists of the Ruiner.

TRAVIS: Oh.

ERIKA: Ugh.

TALIESIN: No, I figure since we have history, and this is interesting. I would love to see what it's like to work with you rather than off to the side, if you know what I mean. I'm sure there'll be plenty of time for that in the future.

MATT: "We don't commonly just take passing dalliances

MATT: We don't commonly just take passing dalliances at face value. There is a... While you and me have definitely squared off in a way that was in line with many of our intense means of judging an individual's character, I am not the person who makes these decisions."

TALIESIN: Oh shit.

MATT: "At least not when it comes to strangers entering our midsts. I have a keen eye, but this goes above me."

TALIESIN: Well, I'll say that we're not necessarily looking to join, we're just looking to pick up whatever work you want off the books, which is a whole different field. I'm very, very big on off-the-books work. I mean, look at me, but--

ERIKA: We're contributing to the gig economy.

MATT: "Well, you can talk to her."

TALIESIN: Talk to who?

MARISHA: To who?

MATT: "To her." He turns around and walks off for a second. And, as he looks over towards the stronghold and gives a loud whistle, some of the individuals enter the stronghold.

TALIESIN: Why does this make me nervous?

TRAVIS: Some of the individuals enter the stronghold?

MATT: Indeed.

MARISHA: Are they flanking us? Starting to--

MATT: No, they're still in a circle facing you. They're not flanking you, but they're definitely preventing you from getting closer to the stronghold.

TALIESIN: Sure.

MATT: They're just keeping you a little bit beyond the gate. A moment later, those figures return and a woman walks through the front of the stronghold. You see a, I want to say almost like a dancer's body, very fit and compact, wearing dark leathers, a heavy cloak with a mantle that goes across the shoulders, and it's either a hood or a heavy scarf that buries the bottom of her head and face. From what you can see, her leather armor goes all the way up to the arm, but then the fingers themselves are exposed at the end. She has dark, tan skin, piercing eyes, and short, gray hair that's folded to one side of it, that bundles a bit to the side and curls under this way.

TRAVIS and SAM: (gasp)

LAURA: (whispers) I fucking knew it! I'm not in here. Motherfucker!

MATT: She steps forward. Now, make a history check.

MARISHA: What, what, what?!

LAURA: Neither are you!

MARISHA: But I got a--

LIAM: Quick audience question.

MARISHA: I've got the drawing.

MATT: Yes.

LIAM: Has this moved inside?

MARISHA: It's in my book.

LIAM: Or are we still outside the gate? I can't remember.

MATT: Oh, you guys are outside the wall.

LIAM: No, I know we are. I'm just asking as an audience of this scene. Have they moved inside?

MATT: Yes, yes. They moved inside the wall. The gates are open and they're inside the courtyard, but they're being kept just beyond the gate.

LAURA: All right. Great.

TALIESIN: This bodes really poorly. This bodes so poorly. Natural 20.

SAM: Hey!

LAURA: Wow.

TALIESIN: I'm burning them all on some really dumb shit.

MATT: Holy shit. (laughs)

TALIESIN: No!

LAURA: This is not dumb shit.

TALIESIN: I'm going to be rolling ones for every fight. Knock on wood.

MATT: That's hilarious. So as the figure approaches, and you've--

TALIESIN: I've read a book.

MATT: You've not seen this figure, but you've heard the name Otohan.

ASHLEY: Otohan.

MARISHA: So this is Otohan?

ASHLEY and MATT: This is Otohan.

LAURA: Otohan?

MATT: Otohan. O-T-O-H-A-N.

LAURA: Otohan.

MATT: Otohan--

SAM: (in distress) Otohan?

TRAVIS: I'm sorry. Spell it one more time.

MATT: O-T-O-H-A-N.

MARISHA: Is there an apostrophe in there?

MATT: No.

MARISHA: Just Otohan.

MATT: Otohan Thull.

LAURA: (groans)

LIAM: Ooh.

MARISHA: Thull?

MATT: Yeah. T-H-U-L-L.

LIAM: Thull.

MATT: You know the second name, because as soon as this all comes together, you're like, I know this figure. It's been rumored that they're, or at least long been involved with Paragon's Call for the past five or so years, but then took leadership and are responsible for expanding its influence beyond Bassuras and the Hellcatch Valley. That fucking natural 20. The reason they have a reputation is because they were a famed warrior in the previous Apex War between the Stratos Throne and Aeshanadoor. They were essentially considered one of the greatest warriors under the Stratos Throne, both as a general who was a tactician and a strategist, but as--

TALIESIN: Not the family, but this person?

MATT: This person.

TALIESIN: Okay. Would I have been in this city for all that? Or this would've been before my time?

LAURA: Stratos?

MARISHA: Stratos.

TRAVIS: Stratos.

MARISHA: Stratos?

MATT: Well, you would've been very young.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: You would've been very young. You do not have memory of the actual conflict. Because a lot of it did go through Bassuras, and a lot of these Crawler gangs were hired up by whoever was paying the most money at the time. In fact, a lot of the wealth and materials they have now is based on what they acquired during the Apex War. But, when the war was done, they just vanished for a while and then popped up here, I guess trying to find some sort of fortune or meaning outside of conflict, and have risen the ranks to become the head, the rumored head of the Paragon's Call.

MARISHA: I'm assuming Laudna would immediately get a ping that this looks very familiar.

LAURA: I don't know how good that drawing is, though.

MARISHA: To (mumbling).

LAURA: It's kind of vague.

MARISHA: Gray hair, poof on the side.

SAM: No, it wasn't very--

MATT: Make a perception check for me.

SAM: It was a 12 performance check to draw it.

MARISHA: Come on.

LAURA: It's a sketchy sketch.

MATT: This is a perception check.

LAURA: Oh no! No!

MARISHA: 11.

TRAVIS: It's okay.

MARISHA: 11.

TRAVIS: Don't rush it.

MATT: 11? You don't clock it.

LIAM: (cooing)

MARISHA: I don't clock it?

MATT: You don't clock it. Not yet.

ASHLEY: And none of us know.

TRAVIS: We wouldn't know what to do with it.

LAURA: No, nope, nope, nope.

MATT: She approaches, hands folded behind her back, as she steps up. Kind of looks, though she's not entirely, you know, taller than you, she still almost feels like she's looking down at you. She leans back a bit. There is a presence about her. Everyone else goes from this slap happy, you know, fuck-off band of brigands, to still and reverent as she steps out. You can just sense they take up a lot of space.

TALIESIN: Holy shit, for real? Like... No!

MATT: "So Ratanish tells me that you are interested in working with us."

TALIESIN: (chuckles) Y-y-yeah. Wow. Are you, you're you? Oh, holy shit. Sorry, fuck, shit.

ERIKA: Should we know who this is?

TALIESIN: I'm cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.

MARISHA: Hello!

MATT: "Hmm."

TALIESIN: I'm normally... Wow, yeah.

ERIKA: He seems deeply impressed.

MARISHA: I know.

ERIKA: She's a deeply impressive woman.

MARISHA: I mean, I like her leather armor.

MATT: "What are your skills? What can you do for us?"

TALIESIN: On the surface, I'm a very good brawler. I know how to keep myself together in a fight. Otherwise, I have a lot of experience with B&E, some experience with smuggling, a little bit of bodyguard work. But moving things from one city to another, very, very high on the list. I've done a little bit of work with The Clasp in the back, back in the time. Wow, you are a lot. I'm not normally...

MATT: Crosses her arms in front.

TALIESIN: I need to tell you, I'm not normally, wow.

ERIKA: Our friend seems quite starstruck by you.

MARISHA: Are you famous?

TALIESIN: I had nightmares about you when I was a kid. Holy shit.

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: 17.

MATT: 17. From what you can tell, now that you glance over, the cloak that she has on, it goes a little bit past the back of the thighs. It's not a long cloak. It's a short cloak. You can see, in the small of the back, there are two crossed sheaths that carry two blades behind. With that high enough roll, there's an odd, I don't want to say like a hunch, but there's definitely, the shoulders where the cloak is, there's something in the back.

TRAVIS: Against the cloak?

MATT: Yes, something within the cloak that is not in line with the rest of the body shape.

TRAVIS: Cool.

LIAM: Options there.

MATT: "Well, there are many ways to ascertain the will,

MATT: Well, there are many ways to ascertain the will, the talent, and the drive to succeed in this city. The choice is yours. You fight... or you race."

LAURA: (gasps)

TALIESIN: I mean, you're kidding, right? I'm a local kid. I want to race.

MATT: "Very well."

MARISHA: Before we choose, though, what does fighting look like, just theoretically?

MATT: "Theoretically?"

MARISHA: Hypothetically.

MATT: "You choose your two finest champions."

MARISHA: Hmm.

MATT: "I choose two of mine."

TRAVIS: (giggles)

MATT: "And we go until down or dead."

ERIKA: Out of curiosity, who are your two finest?

MATT: "That is--"

ERIKA: May we see them before we decide? (laughter)

MATT: "No."

TRAVIS: I'd hate to, you know--

LIAM: Just fight all the cronies.

TRAVIS: -- remove two of her champions. So, the race is probably better. We want to make a good impression.

MARISHA: Heard a lot about these races. It seems very exciting.

MATT: "To be honest, it's been some time since we've had one, and I've been itching to watch. So. Do you accept these specifications?"

TALIESIN: Oh my god. I am a Greymoore. This has been practically my dream since I was five. Yes, I want to do this. This sounds fucking great.

MARISHA: Real quick, any clocking of Treshi?

MATT: Make a perception check.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

LIAM: Get it, get it!

TRAVIS: Assist you.

MARISHA: What, assist?

LAURA: Look around, look around.

TALIESIN: I have utterly lost the fucking round now.

MARISHA: Jeez Louise. Jeez Louise. Nope, that is the worser one. So, 16.

MATT: 16.

LAURA: That's not terrible.

MATT: Not too bad. Right now, there are a lot of bodies around the citadel. Like there were more, there were some that were watching you, but then with Otohan stepping out of the stronghold, it is all hands on deck, because obviously something's happening. No sign of Treshi you can see.

MARISHA: All right.

MATT: Fairly confident that he's not visible.

MARISHA: Sure.

TALIESIN: So, just to set some ground rules here. Am I capable of looking up a sponsor? Do I have to put this shit together myself? I have a little bit of time, obviously, to gather myself and get this shit together, and figure out who I want on a crew if we're going to do this?

MATT: "We race at dusk."

TRAVIS: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Tonight?

MARISHA: Tonight?

MATT: "Part of the resourcefulness is how you can adapt when the unexpected catches you off-guard. Do you have means of racing?"

ERIKA: The thing about our crew is we are always on our guard. (clicks)

MATT: "Good."

TRAVIS: When was that shit going be ready?

TALIESIN: That's fucked up, and that's cool. Okay.

TRAVIS: I thought we'd have a couple days.

TALIESIN: Hi, sorry, yeah, yeah.

ASHLEY: Oh, I want to do something really bad.

TALIESIN: At dusk? It's early. We got time.

TRAVIS: While we're sitting here talking amongst ourselves, can I take a big (sniffs) of the air, and detect any fey, fiends or undead, just from her or from anybody else? Since we don't know what we're dealing with.

MATT: Make a perception check with advantage.

LAURA: (yells)

TRAVIS: 13.

MATT: 13. Not picking up anything specific.

TRAVIS: Cool.

MARISHA: What would be our route as we race through this city?

TALIESIN: Well, it's--

MATT: "There is one route."

TALIESIN: It's the route.

MATT: "Follow his lead. He is indeed a local."

TALIESIN: Yeah.

ERIKA: Yeah, you run through The Skids, you go into the booby traps, there's the ravine and the carbine, and then all back to the base of Bone Tree.

MARISHA: We've heard things.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: "Do you have means of racing?"

TALIESIN: I think so. I'm going to try and put it together right now.

MATT: "All right. For all of you?"

SAM: Mm? Mm-mm.

MATT: "Good then."

ASHLEY: Ah.

SAM: We don't, no.

TALIESIN: We only have one car right now.

MARISHA: If we, like-- Well, I mean, because of course we do, but if we didn't, what would be our options?

TRAVIS: Yeah, any loaners?

MATT: "(laughs)" She turns around and begins walking off, and says, "Give them an emblem," and she just walks back--

MARISHA: Yes!

MATT: -- into the stronghold. Yes, Fearne?

ASHLEY: Before she goes--

TRAVIS: Goddamn it.

SAM: Fuck you!

TRAVIS: What are you doing? (laughter)

TRAVIS: What are you doing?

TALIESIN: That's going to be the phrase on my--

ASHLEY: Yes!

TALIESIN: -- fucking tombstone. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Oh god. Okay. Oh god, this is so dumb.

LIAM: Do it now. Show us what you've got.

ASHLEY: I am going to crawl out of Dusk's pocket, and try to, just real discreetly, just try to run up Otohan's back, and just get into the bits in here. Just try to see what it is.

SAM: On who's back?

ASHLEY: On her mantle. On mantle, under the cloak.

LAURA: On Otohan's?!

TRAVIS: You're going to climb up her back?

LIAM: What animal are you?

ASHLEY: This is really stupid.

SAM: The war hero legend?

ASHLEY: I'm a rat.

SAM: Sure, go for it.

LIAM: You're a rat?

TALIESIN: This is going to go, okay.

LIAM: So, you're this big. You're about as big as a banana with a tail.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: It's probably a shield or a weapon or...

ERIKA: (cackles)

TALIESIN: I am so tempted to kick as this thing runs by.

MATT: Roll--

MARISHA: You made Erika maniacal.

MATT: Roll stealth for me.

LAURA: What color, are you the color of the ground, rat?

TRAVIS: It's very high risk, low reward.

MATT: Too late to make that decision.

ASHLEY: It is, it is. I am just like a, with a little tinge of green.

LAURA: Oh, okay, cool.

ASHLEY: You know? With just a little ribbon. So, definitely somebody's pet.

TALIESIN: I'm assuming this is far enough that we've already, I don't know. Have we turned around and started heading out by now already, or no?

MATT: You all exhale, right as you just see at the periphery of your vision, something skitter across the ground. Go ahead and roll stealth check, using the rat's dexterity check.

TALIESIN: Fuck my life. Fuck my life.

LAURA: But I thought you, wait, I thought you used your own stats, no?

MATT: Your own mental stats. But the physical stats are of the creature.

ASHLEY: Natural 20. (cheering)

TRAVIS: Get out of here!

MATT: For, for a total of?

TRAVIS: It's a high DC.

ASHLEY: Total of 20.

MATT: For a total of 20.

LIAM: Bring it down, bring it down, bring it down. Bring it down.

MARISHA: Sorry.

ASHLEY: Sorry, Dad.

LAURA: But still, natural 20!

TRAVIS: Well...

LAURA: She can't totally fail with a natural 20.

SAM: Matt can do whatever he wants.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: So.

LIAM: If she were punching a god, she probably wouldn't succeed.

MATT: You dart from shadow to shadow, of the other people that are standing in a circle. You cruise through, preventing the majority of the sunlight to make you stand out so starkly against the very light dust across the ground. So you just (whooshing) rapidly, before you realize that she's even gone. As she turns around laughing, and says "Give them the emblem," you lunge up, and then, not going for the armor, but towards the back of the cloak, actually catch the bottom of like, (grunting) and you swing, and pull yourself underneath the back of it. As you're holding on, you're tapping the small of her back, where the weapons are.

ASHLEY: (squeaks)

MATT: On the inside of the cloak. It is just a dark shaded interior, with just bits of light that peek through as the cloak swings, as she's walking towards the stronghold. What are you doing?

ASHLEY: Okay, I just want to just nuzzle up into this area, and just see what she's hiding. Well, I guess I wouldn't have known that you pinged something. I'm just trying to get a feel of what's going on in her business.

TRAVIS: Business.

MATT: Make a perception check.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LIAM: Queen of chaos.

MARISHA: Come on, business rat.

SAM: Natural 20, come on.

LIAM: Queen of chaos.

MARISHA: Yep.

TALIESIN: Breathing deep. I'm breathing deep.

MARISHA: ♪ Business rat ♪

MATT: The thing is, her shape, everyone can see it's a little odd. You picked up the weapons and the details there.

ASHLEY: Yeah, 18.

MATT: 18. Glancing up into the cloak, her body is tightly wrapped in very finely-made leather armor, layers and layers of very well-made leather, with all manner of metal bits that are woven into it. Along the back, from what you can see, there is a strange contraption. It looks almost like a very small backpack, but it's got a lot of gold and brass elements of it, that are affixed over the shoulders, and in the middle of the shoulder blades. It has two cavities in the middle of it.

TRAVIS: Holy shit.

MATT: That's all you can make out of it. You don't know the detail of what it is.

LIAM: She just is the Mandalorian.

TRAVIS: She's the fucking Rocketeer.

MARISHA: She's fucking-- yes.

ASHLEY: Okay. Are there any--

TRAVIS: That's so dope. (laughs) That's so fucking cool.

ASHLEY: That's really cool.

MARISHA: What?

ASHLEY: Are there any little pieces of metal that I could maybe just take out?

LAURA: Oh my lord!

ASHLEY: Is this so stupid?

TRAVIS: Did you not want to play with us anymore? You just didn't want to...

ERIKA: (yells)

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, let me just--

SAM: You're doing it, you're doing it.

MATT: Are you attempting to climb closer up within the cloak to get a better look?

ASHLEY: (sighs)

TRAVIS: Do it.

ASHLEY: I feel like I have enough info.

MATT: It's up to you.

MARISHA: Rats chew wires.

ASHLEY: I am going to see if there are wires. (laughter)

ASHLEY: I'm just going to peek.

MARISHA: Sorry!

ASHLEY: Just a peek to see if there are wires.

SAM: (coos) Shut up, Marisha.

ASHLEY: If there aren't any wires, I'm going to haul ass.

MATT: Roll one more perception check for me.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay.

TRAVIS: We know how she better end, Marisha.

LAURA: (laughs)

ERIKA: (yells)

ASHLEY: 19.

TALIESIN: I'm so excited.

LAURA: 19!

TRAVIS: Wow!

MATT: Damn!

ERIKA: (yells)

TRAVIS: You are really, really, really good.

TALIESIN: All that luck will run out.

MARISHA: Oh my god, oh my god.

SAM: Oh, whispers!

ERIKA: (yells)

SAM: Whispers!

TALIESIN: I'm not okay.

SAM: What is happening right now?

TALIESIN: I'm so not okay right now.

SAM: If only.

ERIKA: (yells) (laughs)

SAM: Erika's into it.

MARISHA: She's going full chaos gremlin.

TALIESIN: She is purely fueled by chaos.

SAM: Oh my god, this is so stressful.

TALIESIN: This is so stressful that I feel--

SAM: It's so stressful that I can't find the details of the D&D Beyond ad I'm supposed to read right now. But just know that D&D Beyond--

LIAM: It's pretty good.

SAM: -- exists.

TALIESIN: I'm staring at it right now. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Okay.

LIAM: Ay ay ay ay ay ay.

TALIESIN: Oh god, god, god.

ASHLEY: Okay. That changes things a little bit.

SAM: She saw four other rats in there.

ASHLEY: Yeah. Hey! (laughter)

ERIKA: They're all in a little wheel.

ASHLEY: Yeah!

MARISHA: You here for family reunion?

MATT: Yeah, Otohan is actually 87 rats, just holding onto each other.

TALIESIN: 87 rats in a trench coat.

ERIKA: Rats in a trench coat.

LIAM: It's The Nutcracker.

ASHLEY: I'm going to take a sniff, to see if I can pick up on if there are any elements or things that I can (sniffs) gather. I'm going to put on my best Chet and I'm--

MATT: Well, you rolled a pretty high perception in general. I'll say for this, roll an arcana check for me.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: Oh boy.

ASHLEY: That's not my best. No. Nine. No! Seven. (laughs) Minus.

TALIESIN: Well.

MATT: Nothing--

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: Nothing is catching your interest or memory.

ASHLEY: I am going to, since I'm underneath her cloak, I'm just going to jump, put my claw on the cloak, and just (whooshes).

LAURA: Ride it down?

ASHLEY: Ride it down.

LIAM: Errol Flynn down the cloak?

ASHLEY: Yes, Errol Flynn down the cloak. And haul ass to Dusk, and get back in their pocket.

MATT: Okay. Roll one more stealth check for me.

LIAM: (like Pinky) Oh, what we going to do tonight, Brain?

TALIESIN: And this was the last we--

LAURA: Please, please, please.

LIAM: Trying to break the game.

ASHLEY: Eugh. Uh-oh.

MARISHA: Yep.

SAM: The streak--

MARISHA: This is where--

ASHLEY: Seven.

LAURA: Oh!

TALIESIN: This is where it all goes wrong.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: (whistles)

MATT: So. As you scamper down the back of the cloak, by scraping through, you flip out and emerge onto the ground. As you begin to scamper back to the group, the first thing you see is Ratanish, who has been watching Otohan leave, as they all focus over, and goes, and immediately clocks you, and just gives this snarled look, before stepping towards you briskly, with the intent of engaging.

ASHLEY: I just roll on my back.

LAURA: (squeals)

MATT: Okay, you roll onto your back.

MARISHA: Do we see this happening?

MATT: Yes, well, at this point, at that low of stealth check, yes. You realize that Fearne's gone, no longer in the pocket, and then now see a rat darting away from Otohan, and Ratanish turning, and marching towards her.

ERIKA: Poots! (yells) I run over. I scoop her up.

SAM: What did you say?

ERIKA: Poots!

MARISHA: Poots.

SAM: Poots?

TRAVIS: Poots?

LAURA: Oh, I miss him, too.

MATT: Because he was ready to stomp it, as you ran and rushed over. Make a deception check for me.

MARISHA: Come on.

ERIKA: Okay, okay, okay, okay.

MARISHA: Don't fuck this.

ERIKA: (yells)

MARISHA: Don't fuck this.

LIAM: Come on, Dusk.

MARISHA: Come on, Ishii.

LAURA: Duster.

MARISHA: Oh. (muttering)

LAURA: You got this.

MARISHA: Come on, come on.

ERIKA: Dirty 19.

LAURA: Ah.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: That's pretty good.

MATT: Ratanish says, "It would be preferred that you keep your animals close by, or else they're liable to get squashed."

ERIKA: I'm so sorry. It will never happen again, sir.

ASHLEY: I nuzzle in and just give all the-- all the rat nuzzles and all--

MATT: Fair enough.

ASHLEY: -- things.

LAURA: Ooh!

TRAVIS: Fair enough.

TRAVIS and MATT: (laugh)

LAURA: Fair enough.

MATT: Reaches in, pulls out a small coin. It looks like a pressed emblem of a gold bird skull, and goes ahead and flicks it over towards you. "Take that to Joe. He'll give you a loaner."

TALIESIN: This is everything I ever wanted, thank you.

MARISHA: Joe will give us a loner.

LAURA: Ooh!

MATT: "All right, at dusk, meet at the Bone Tree. Bring your rides," and steps inside.

LAURA: Oh my lord.

SAM: Everything about this is cool.

MATT: With that, the rest of the guards glance at you.

TALIESIN: (cackles)

TRAVIS: Yeah, be glad it wasn't a fight. Be the last face you ever see.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: He's not kidding.

MARISHA: Honestly, he's ripped as fuck under there.

TALIESIN: Fuck shit up.

MARISHA: He's got a 12-pack.

TALIESIN: On a six-pack.

MATT: Couple of laughs chuckle through. They're not taking you seriously.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we'll fix that.

MATT and MARISHA: (laugh)

ERIKA: We'll fix 'em good.

TALIESIN: We got a bunch of shit to do. Oh no.

MARISHA: (high-pitched mumblings)

MATT: You exit the gate. The gates close behind you, and the afternoon is yours.

TALIESIN: Wow! We got stuff to do.

MARISHA: Imogen!

SAM: They're taking too long in there! I'm going to set off the bomb.

MARISHA: Imogen!

LAURA: Oh! Oh yes? No hold that thought. Yeah, Laudna, what, yes?

MARISHA: All right, we just got out.

TRAVIS: (deep-throated growls)

MARISHA: We're heading your way.

LAURA: Heading our way.

MARISHA: There was-- My adrenaline.

LAURA: Adrenaline, what? (creepy mumblings)

MARISHA: Very high.

LAURA: Yeah?

MARISHA: There was a crazy badass woman. I'll tell you all about it.

TRAVIS: (deep-throated growl)

MARISHA: Where are you? Are you at the Panera? (laughter)

LIAM: (deeply) Panera!

LAURA: We'll meet you in the street.

MARISHA: All right.

MATT: All right. Covertly, you dovetail back into a singular group, a little ways away from the Seat of Disdain. As you gather, what do you want to do?

MARISHA: As we walk and talk, with the five minutes before we reconnect, I just: Ashton, who the fuck was that?

ERIKA: You got pretty tongue-tied.

TALIESIN: Yeah, that was Otohan Thull. That's like--

MARISHA: Is she royalty?

TALIESIN: Kind of. Back when I was a kid, if you wanted to talk about the most fucked up, crazy, please correct me if I'm wrong, DM, insane motherfucker in the history of this town, who just killed and fucked everything up. This was the person. This was nightmare fuel, this person, and they had been gone for, I mean, they were gone when I was a kid. and what the fuck are they doing back? This is--

MARISHA: Running a Crawler gang.

TALIESIN: I'm trying to think of anybody that you would know that isn't a pop culture reference from an entirely different universe and it's really hard.

MARISHA and MATT: (laugh)

TALIESIN: They're that cool. This is-- These are serious-- This is a serious person, like don't fuck with person.

LAURA: What's their name?

MARISHA: Oh Imogen! Hello, hi.

LAURA: Hey.

MARISHA: Hello, you're here.

LIAM: Hey guys.

TALIESIN: Otohan Thrall.

ASHLEY: I'm just on your shoulder.

LIAM: Thull?

TALIESIN: Thull, Thrall, Thull. Thull, yeah, that's right. I have handwriting.

LAURA: Otohan Thull, have I ever heard of Otohan Thull?

MATT: Roll a history check.

MARISHA: Come on.

TRAVIS: Come on, bubs.

LAURA: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, 12.

MATT: No.

LAURA: Nope. Oh, yeah.

MARISHA: It was crazy! We were locked in, and there were, there were guards everywhere and they were like, "Ooh, we're going to circle around you." We were like, "We're cool." Then Ashton talked really well. He did a very good job, and then--

TALIESIN: Thank you.

MARISHA: We saw Ratanish, and we were like, "Ratanish, what's up? We want to work for you," Then Ratanish was like, "Well, that's not my call, so I've got to call in *her*." Then she came out and it was this Otohan Thull woman, who is, had a really nice body.

TALIESIN: She keeps it very tight, especially considering how old she is.

LAURA: It makes sense, if you're leading something like Paragon's Call.

MARISHA: Yes.

LAURA: You would be like--

ERIKA: She said we either had to fight with two of our champions, or do a race.

MARISHA: A race!

ERIKA: And we decided to do a race!

MARISHA: Race!

LAURA: Yes!

MARISHA: They gave us a token.

ERIKA: So we get two vehicles.

LAURA: Oh!

MARISHA: Yes.

LAURA: We can surprise them with our second vehicle, because they only think--

MARISHA: Right.

TALIESIN: We are walking to All-Minds-Burn at the moment, by the way, I'm leading everybody--

LAURA: We're walking to All-Minds-Burn? We're not walking to fucking Joe's?

TALIESIN: Well, you guys can hit Joe's, but I'm going to hit All-Minds-Burn up first.

ERIKA: You've got the token!

TALIESIN: Still, there's some stuff I need to take care of, real quick.

LAURA: Is it going to be fast? Because I feel Joe needs, when are we racing?

TALIESIN: Tonight.

ERIKA: Tonight.

ASHLEY: Dusk.

LAURA: He needs all the time he can get!

TALIESIN: I'll meet you guys at Joe's.

MARISHA: They were like, "Take this and then you can have a loaner." We just have--

LAURA: Wait a minute.

ERIKA: Fearne scampered up her cloak.

LAURA: Okay, wait.

ASHLEY: Yes!

ERIKA: What'd you see in there?

LAURA: Amazing.

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

SAM: Doesn't Joe only have the two vehicles that--

LAURA: I mean, he might have some for loaner, but here's the thing. If this is specifically an emblem that Paragon's Call gives and we're going against Paragon's Call, don't you think there's a chance that they might give us a shitty one?

TALIESIN: Joe's going to-- we've already got one that we paid for.

TRAVIS: I don't think Joe knows who we're going up against. We've just got the backing of Paragon's Call.

LAURA: All right, all right.

SAM: No, you do make a good point. Why would they want us to have an amazing vehicle if they're trying to beat us?

ERIKA: Because it's not about the vehicle.

SAM: Although wait--

ERIKA: It's about the drivers.

SAM: Is that true?

LAURA: All right.

TRAVIS: Well, if we get a loaner, it's going to be shitty. Loaners are always balls, but two against one will help.

LAURA: We don't know if they'll have more.

TALIESIN: They're going to have more than one.

SAM: But wait, hold up. They're challenging us to a race to decide if we are good enough to hire?

TALIESIN: Yes.

MARISHA: Yes.

SAM: So they probably--

LAURA: So if we don't die they'll hire us.

SAM: Yeah, so they want us, they want it to be more or less even.

MARISHA: Yes.

SAM: So they can judge our worth.

TALIESIN: You don't judge somebody's worth by seeing how they do in a fair fight. You judge them by how they do in a not fair fight.

TRAVIS: Yeah, to be fair, it sounded like they wanted more entertainment than actual additional employees.

TALIESIN: Despite that not being fair, that is fair.

ERIKA: Did you clock your man at all? Did anybody check for your man? No?

MARISHA: I looked, but I didn't see him.

TALIESIN: I got distracted.

LIAM: It's also, there's a lot of talk, not just about the vehicles, but what's laid on the road. So that's totally separate.

TALIESIN: Which is why I'm going to be going to All-Minds-Burn in a second.

MARISHA: Also, we should be very mindful the fact that the four of us were the faces that walked in. So then it's got to be one of the four of us or two of the four of us on the skirmisher.

LAURA: Why?

TALIESIN: We can fuck around with that.

MARISHA: Because if it's two other randos on the skirmisher, then that would be weird, right?

TALIESIN: They're our people. It'd be all right.

ERIKA: What did you see under there?

ASHLEY: Okay, so I was a rat and I went over to this Otohan and just crawled up her beautiful, lithe, very in-shape body.

LIAM: You keep returning to that detail.

ASHLEY: And went up her cloak and she had this backpack underneath. I got in there and it was two cylindrical, nine-inch holders, and there was a crystal in there in each kind of a thing.

ERIKA: A crystal?

TALIESIN: What kind of crystal?

ASHLEY: I couldn't tell. That is not my specialty.

SAM: That was filling the cavity or waiting at the bottom?

LIAM: At the top?

ASHLEY: It was in the--

LIAM: Outside?

MATT: So to help explain what you saw--

ASHLEY: Yes.

MARISHA: (laughs)

SAM: I'm picturing two crystal dildos right now.

MATT: Well, they looked like crystal or glass containers.

LAURA: Like canisters?

MATT: Like canisters or vials of some kind.

SAM: Oh, the cylinder was not made out of--

MATT: Correct. There were two fittings in there, and then when she glanced up within there, there were two of these about that long crystal containers that were embedded or placed up inside.

SAM: Empty?

MATT: Mm-mm. ("I don't know").

SAM: Oh, are they translucent? Could she see inside?

MATT: There was very little light, What little bit of light showed you some of the shape and the general surface of it. But that was all you got.

ASHLEY: So it wasn't much, but it was obviously something a bit strange and she was, you know, just a really cool leather suit and--

MARISHA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yeah, like this--

MARISHA: She had this really smooth, tan skin, and gray hair. It was all pulled to the side, you know?

LAURA: Wow.

MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: I'm curious to know what Matt was going to try to tell Taliesin five minutes ago.

TALIESIN: Who was going to tell who?

MATT: I was going to just note that from the experience of you watching various races in the past, it's generally not a singular faction because then it would be the faction beating the shit out of its own faction.

TALIESIN: Oh, so it's going to be a bunch of people.

MATT: It's usually, when one happens, other people who are looking for an excuse to get some anger out or to work through some sort of a disagreement, people usually jump on when they hear something's happening, and it fills out the ranks pretty quickly.

TALIESIN: Like a noise music club. Okay, I'm into it.

MATT: Yeah!

SAM: "Like a noise music club."

TALIESIN: It's a thing.

TRAVIS: Same.

TALIESIN: When they happen.

MARISHA: It's a whole thing.

TALIESIN: People get into it because they're having issues. All right, I will meet y'all, unless somebody wants to come to All-Minds-Burn.

TRAVIS: I'm just curious, they're all-- their minds are connected hive mind to what? Do you know?

SAM: To drugs.

TALIESIN: I don't know, no.

TRAVIS: You don't know if there's a big insect under the ground?

TALIESIN: There is, in fact, a giant, big insect under the ground, but I think it's just there, I don't think it has anything to do-- I don't know what the fuck they're doing, no. It's just drug shit.

TRAVIS: I just want to know. Okay, no, I'm good.

MARISHA: What do you want to do with them? You always so enigmatic, Ashton.

TALIESIN: They owe me a favor. Well, you can come. They owe me a favor. I'm going to take care of it. You're welcome to join in. Actually, on that note, I'm still hyperventilating from that shit. Chetney, are we being followed?

TRAVIS: Are we being followed?

LIAM: As soon as he says that, I start looking around.

MATT: Make a perception check.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah, thank you.

TRAVIS: Didn't ask you, motherfucker.

MARISHA: (laughs)

LIAM: I know that. I have super high perception, so tough shit. 21.

MATT: 21.

TRAVIS: 20... two. (oohing) (oohing)

TALIESIN: No. (oohing) (laughter)

MARISHA: You could hear him making it up on the 20... TRAVIS, MARISHA and MATT: Two.

MATT: Nothing clocks. You know, you don't clock anything that sets on your alarm bells.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

LIAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: They owe you a favor or you owe them a favor?

TALIESIN: They owe me a favor and when they do this, I'll owe them a favor. They're friends. They're friends.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LIAM: (bird squawk)

TALIESIN: You're welcome--

MARISHA: All-Minds-Burn, and Joe's, or are we going to divide and--

TALIESIN: I'm going to meet you at Joe's. All-Minds-Burn's not going to take a long time. I'm just hopping in and letting them know what I need and hopping--

TRAVIS: Imahara Joe's, let's go.

MARISHA: Let's go.

ASHLEY: Let's (trills) go.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Did you need company there or are you good?

TALIESIN: I was just offering, because I know you had such an interesting time last.

LAURA: Yeah, but it was pretty fucking terrible at the same time.

TALIESIN: Yeah, that's why I was offering.

SAM: The drug place if you want to--

MARISHA: I'll go with Ashton just because I'm curious as to what the fuck he's talking about.

TALIESIN: They'll love you.

ERIKA: I'll go to Joe's.

MARISHA: They'll love *me*?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MARISHA: (gasps) Then I have to go.

MATT: Okay, so as you divide here for the moment, most of the group going off to The Ends to Imahara Joe's, we're going to follow the two of you as you head back towards the palace, or are you going through any other establishment?

TALIESIN: I'm just going straight to talk to Justi and get her on board.

MATT: Okay, got it. So at this point, it's a little after noon. You approach the familiar sight of the green glass domed palace, the center of a lot of the All-Minds-Burn business network in the city. You continue up the familiar stairs to the open archway and enter the shaded interior of the building. Another smattering of probably eight, no, nine figures are in there in different places.

TALIESIN: That bodes well.

MATT: But what would you like to do?

TALIESIN: As we enter, just taking a look around, see if anyone clocks us. You're going to love this place. It's fucked up.

MARISHA: Oh!

TALIESIN: Yeah!

MARISHA: It's like inspiration for nightmare fuel?

TALIESIN: Honestly, I think you might be inspiration for them, but we'll see how it goes.

MARISHA: (gasps) I can be someone's muse.

TALIESIN: Well...

MARISHA: This is all I've ever wanted.

TALIESIN: There's no-- some*one*'s here. Anyway.

MARISHA: What?

TALIESIN: You'll see.

MARISHA: All right.

TALIESIN: Is anyone clocking us at this point?

MATT: As you're having this conversation, yeah, everyone in the room who's in the process of either reading a book or sitting in eyes closed either meditating or falling asleep, some other individuals, there's an odd hammock that's hung against a part of broken sconce to one side that's attached to one of the various load bearing pillars here.

MARISHA: Seems pretty boring so far.

MATT: They all immediately glance over as you enter, and then they all begin to relax and go back to whatever they were doing.

TALIESIN: Just loud enough to be heard: Hey, y'all, I just need a minute with Justi, if she's around.

MATT: They all turn back towards you again, almost in unison and they all look up towards the top and you hear the shifting and moving of something up in the rafter and then (flaps) in a large spiral flying down the red cardinal individual that you know as Justi. You see an eisfuura of deep red crimson feathers who lands onto the front of the steps where you are. You just walked in, and they're greeting you right at the front. They land. "Hey, hi."

TALIESIN: Hi. Thank you so much for, oh yes.

MARISHA: Hello.

MATT: "Hello?"

MARISHA: Oh! Ooh.

MATT: "You are?"

MARISHA: You're in my personal bubble. I am Laudna.

MATT: "Laudna."

MARISHA: Yes, pleasure. You don't do shakesies, all right.

TRAVIS and ERIKA: (laugh)

MATT: "Hi."

MARISHA: You must be Justi.

MATT: "Mm-hmm."

MARISHA: That's fun.

MATT: "Sometimes."

TALIESIN: I'm so excited. My two favorite nightmare fuels in the same room together.

MARISHA: It's an honor to be nightmare fuel with you.

MATT: "You're adorable."

TRAVIS: There's a singularity forming between the two of them.

TALIESIN: This was everything I hoped. You were right. We race at dawn.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: "Ha ha ha."

LAURA: (whispers) Dusk.

TALIESIN: Dusk! (laughter)

TALIESIN: I'm so used to saying dawn.

MARISHA: We planned at dawn.

MARISHA: We race at dusk.

MATT: We race at dusk. There it is.

TALIESIN: Shit, fuck. Yes, any help that you can give would be greatly appreciated, possibly compensated with information, a favor.

MATT: Make a persuasion check with advantage since you have a positive relationship with Justi from the past and they do owe a favor. This will determine how far they can go.

TALIESIN: ♪ Don't fuck with me ♪ That could be worse. Persuasion. I rolled an 11. Oh, I rolled an 11, which means 10.

MATT: Gotcha, okay, all right.

MARISHA: Wowzers, what?

TALIESIN: Oh wait, do I still have? Oh yeah. That wouldn't matter. That would still just be advantage. No, I'm sorry, that means nine. I have a negative two to persuasion.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MARISHA: What?

TRAVIS: I hit things, yeah.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: That sounds right.

TALIESIN: I'm a lot.

MARISHA: You are.

MATT: "Yes, there are favors owed. I, we can help."

TALIESIN: I would deeply appreciate that, and I might have some information that you might already know, you might not, but if things go well, I might be able to feed you some interesting gossip.

MATT: "Hmm."

TALIESIN: About things going on at the Paragon, right?

MATT: "Fair trade."

TALIESIN: Always.

MATT: "Fair trade." You hear the voices go "Fair trade, fair trade," all through the room.

MARISHA: Fair trade. I just, I instinctually add to it.

TALIESIN: She has voices in her head, too.

MATT: "Ah, would you," and reaches out their hands to you, grabs your hand and just holds it for a second and looks you over.

MARISHA: What are you about to do?

MATT: They pull their hands away and there's a small satchel in your hand about the size of a gold coin or so.

MARISHA: What is it?

MATT: You open it up inside, and there is a dark, crushed, slightly earthy, damp powder.

TALIESIN: We're in a bit of a rush. I think maybe this might be a post-game.

MARISHA: Is this for right now? What do you-- What do you--

TALIESIN: We are in a bit of a rush.

MATT: "If ever you want."

MARISHA: Hee. Okay.

MATT: "There is much that are offered within these walls if you join the wavelength."

MARISHA: Oh. I've got a few-- I've got a few wavelengths kicking in my brain.

MATT: "Maybe we can help."

MARISHA: Hmm! I just look around to the others. What are they all doing?

MATT: "Clear the attic."

MARISHA: Clear the attic? I don't think you can clear my attic.

TALIESIN: We'll discuss further. Actually, that's not a bad idea. I'll keep you posted. As always, you are such a sweetheart.

MATT: "Ah, one moment." (wings flapping) Then grabs onto one of the hanging cords from the ceiling that swings back and forth a bit before scurrying up. Goes from this graceful bird flight to a rapid spider climb up into one of the holes of bundled rags, and repurposed bags, and burlap up there. It's forming a small nest before they emerge and then drop down with a full dive before (whooshes) (clicks) and perching once more before the two of you. Under one arm, you see this bright yellow cloth sun bleached a bit, the colors faded a bit, takes it, and tears it in two. "Wear this. So we know who not to target." (clicks)

TALIESIN: There'll be one. We have two vehicles. We'll have one on each, if that works.

MATT: "Good, I'll let them know."

TALIESIN: Thank you.

MATT: "They know."

LAURA: (chuckles)

TALIESIN: I will, one day, get used to that. We'll see you soon. Thanks, Justi.

MATT: "Of course."

MARISHA: Thanks. Thanks for the dime bag, all right.

MATT: "Good luck." (laughter) (laughter)

TALIESIN: That bird used to party so fucking hard.

MARISHA: Apparently, they still do.

TALIESIN: Well, it's complicated. That's a very nice thing. You should hold onto that for later, and we'll have a discussion about, they do have some therapeutic prop-- Well, we'll get into it later.

MARISHA: Do you think drugs--

MATT: Make a--

MARISHA: -- could get rid of the dead woman in my head?

TALIESIN: What do I know?

MATT: Make a--

TALIESIN: I know, I'm trying to walk the line here.

MATT: -- history or medicine. History or medicine, your choice.

TALIESIN: They're both the same. I suppose if it would be local knowledge, so I guess it would be history.

MATT: So go history. Yeah.

TALIESIN: No advantage on that. No, a five.

MATT: Five, okay. Best that you know is that this is one of the premier substances that is cultivated and put out by All-Minds-Burn, and everyone that begins using it ends up kind of like everybody in that room.

TALIESIN: Okay, I had a feeling, all right. We'll save that for later.

MARISHA: All right.

MATT: "Goodbye."

MARISHA: Toodle-oo.

MATT: (wings flapping) Back up to the glass green ceiling.

TALIESIN: We'll head out. About 2/3 of the walk, walk down towards Joe's.

MARISHA: Towards Joe's.

TALIESIN: Yeah, keep that on you, but don't take that. It's just it'd rude not to take it.

MARISHA: Sure.

TALIESIN: But it means they like you. It means they like you a lot. Don't take it.

MARISHA: Okay.

TALIESIN: Unless things get real bad up there, but you know.

MARISHA: I wonder what Delilah would do on drugs.

TALIESIN: Well.

TRAVIS: Instant reinforcement.

TALIESIN: She would certainly suddenly find herself going from the mansion of your mind to a cramped apartment complex.

MARISHA: With a lot of other people.

TALIESIN: With a lot of other people who are very used to being in heads.

MARISHA: Could be kind of funny.

TALIESIN: It could be kind of funny. Nah, okay.

MARISHA: No, all right.

MATT: So you head over to Joe's then?

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Double dare. Double dare.

ASHLEY: Don't do that.

MATT: The rest of you make your way to The Ends to the familiar neighborhood of all the numerous tinkerers, engineers, and the scavengers that are colloquially referred to as the Roaches to the exterior of Imahara Joe's Shop. Now early afternoon or so, and the front doors are open, and the shop appears to be functioning, and you can hear the distant sound of work being done in the workshop.

SAM: Who wants to sweet-talk Mr. Joe?

ERIKA: I mean, how often do we have sweet-talking?

LAURA: Sweet talking?

SAM: Well, I mean, he's got to do a lot more work a lot faster.

LAURA: That's true.

ASHLEY: Mm. Oh.

LAURA: I have deception, but I'm not very good at persuasion.

ERIKA: We don't need to deceive him. We can just tell him.

SAM: I did hear he was enthralled by me or--

MARISHA: I agree with Dusk.

ERIKA: It's okay.

LAURA: He wants to bone you. You should fucking talk to him.

ERIKA: Is that how it went?

LAURA: Yeah.

ERIKA: Oh, no wonder my signals are getting so mixed.

MARISHA and MATT: (laugh)

ERIKA: (groans)

MARISHA: (snorts)

ASHLEY: Hello.

SAM: Oh, okay.

MATT: So you step into the workshop. You can see the familiar hanging chains with tools and pieces of scrap that are either going to be gotten to at some point or are just an ongoing project. You can see there are other people who are actually assisting different smaller projects here. Previously when you came in later in the day, it was just Joe, but you now see other people who are probably working under him that are in the process of polishing, or scraping, or cleaning, or just tending to the interior space. You do also see the familiar glowing baubles of the various arcane power devices that run a lot of the automatons and the crawler-based machines that are brought here for repairs or built from scratch depending on what is needed. As you walk in, they acknowledge you and keep an eye, but continue their work. Then as you go through the back door to the open workshop area that's caged in where you had your final conversation with Joe, you can see now there is one familiar looking crawler, skirmish-crawler, that previously was unfinished, now is on the cusp of completion--

SAM: Wow.

LAURA: Oh, good.

MATT: -- with additional armor plates put upon the front--

LAURA: (gasps) Sick.

MATT: -- and the front wheel. You can see Joe currently stands atop this, it's a raised platform with multiple sets of stairs that lead to the top. There is a chained device that affixes to almost like a girdle that he wears that allows him to lean really close to the device without falling over into it. Because you could see there are many, many pieces of jagged pointy metal that just protrude from this device at all angles, and it would be very bad to fall onto it. He has a large welding shield on the face that has some sort of a spyglass extension on it. He's down there with that long device with the pronged fork at the end, and as he's placing it along the edge of the metal, you see this bright arcane spark that flares off of it with this long drifting blue flame that leaves a trail from wherever he moves it around as it arcs across. As he pulls it through, you watch as the metal fuses without leaving a trace of it once being two separate pieces. He finishes the work he's doing, pulls back, and pulls up the front, looks over. Face just covered in dirt and soot, and wipes it a little bit. Glances over, "Oh. Oh, hi! I--"

SAM: Hi.

ERIKA: Hi.

LAURA: Hey, Joe.

ERIKA: It's looking real good.

MATT: "Thank you. I take pride in my work, and this is going to be functional."

ERIKA: Fun question.

LAURA: In how many hours exactly?

MATT: "Oh. I mean, I can have this done by the end of the afternoon, probably."

SAM: Oh!

ERIKA: Oh, amazing! And fun question for you.

MATT: It was a couple of days for the two.

ERIKA: In theory, if you had any loaners that we would need imminently for Paragon's Call.

LAURA: I hold up the Paragon's Call.

MATT: "Oh, so you went ahead and got an emblem. Okay, okay."

ERIKA: Would that be ready by dusk?

MATT: "Yeah. I mean, I have a couple loaners here that, I mean, they're not for sale, which is why it wasn't something we were talking about before, but I can get you one, yeah."

SAM: How do they stack up quality-wise?

MATT: "They run."

LAURA: Uh-huh.

TRAVIS: (chuckles)

ERIKA: Is there any way to soup them up a little bit before dusk hits?

MATT: "I mean, I can call in some of the team, but it's going to cost extra."

ERIKA: How much extra?

MATT: "What kind of upgrades do you want? Do you want mounted weaponry? Do you want the same armor upgrade that I gave to this device here?"

ERIKA: Armor upgrade, speed, and agility.

MATT: "I mean, upgrading a loaner, I'm just saying, is normally not done because you pay for the upgrade, and then the car comes back to me."

LAURA: Right.

ERIKA: Hey, it's an investment in you.

MATT: "I mean, yeah. It's your coin to burn, I guess."

LIAM: This is good for one?

LAURA: The loaner.

MATT: "Oh, yeah. One loaner from them, yeah."

SAM: Also, we could just pump all of our hopes and dreams into this one.

ERIKA: No, all four of us--

TRAVIS: Greased lightning!

ERIKA: All four of us have to prove ourselves.

SAM: I understand we would still take the loaner out, but more as a scout decoy--

LAURA: Defense?

SAM: -- defense sort of vehicle and not as the one that's going to win the day.

MARISHA: One that throws the others off.

SAM: Or we could try to improve both of them, I suppose.

ERIKA: What would it cost to do a bump in agility, armor-plating? No need for any more extra guns.

MATT: "Armor plating for a loaner? I'll cut you to about 150 gold."

LAURA: How much money you got, Dusk?

ERIKA: I got some. I got that. Could we do 100, considering it's coming back to you?

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

ASHLEY: Come on.

LIAM: That's decent. That's a decent argument.

LAURA: Decent.

ERIKA: 17.

MATT: 17? "Sure, I'll throw it in for 100."

LAURA: Nice.

ERIKA: Okay. We'll do it.

MATT: "Okay. I just got to pay the team because I'm pulling folks on their day off to get this done in time, so."

ERIKA: And we really appreciate that.

MATT: "No, of course. I just make sure I take care of my team, so. (sighs) Okay, when-- So by dusk?"

LAURA: Yeah, there's race at dusk.

SAM: Oh, and also, I don't know if you charge for this, but how do you drive one?

MATT: "Oh no. Well, they're-- Okay."

TRAVIS: Oh no.

MATT: He goes to show you. Underneath the main chassis, there is one of the large blue glowing arcane powering spheres. Same make of a lot of the ones you've seen throughout the shop, but this one's relatively large in size. He goes, "These, the larger ones here, we have to import. But this here is what powers the entirety of the device. Here, in order to function, it has to be connected in a certain ways." He shows you where it sits within there. "For the most part, just don't bother with it once I have it situated there on top." Then he shows, because there's two seats. There's the recessed one that sits in the middle of the chassis where there is a set of handlebars, a T-handlebar. He says, "Turn this way to turn, you rotate the wheel, and this way to go this way. If you pull back on it, there is a spring mechanism that can push the front wheel up if you need to jump onto a ramp of some kind or to come down upon someone. The backseat here," there's a second raised seat portion, is where the passenger sits. "This is usually used as a spotter, or a gunner, or whatever the assistant would like to assist with from the back of the vehicle. There are also a number of--" He points to the front of the windshield. You can see there's a whole manner of spikes, like a lower jaw that's open with teeth protruding forward. "This is a lot of ramming power. I would be lying if I didn't say I have to clean these a lot because sometimes people get thrown onto them."

LAURA: Oh my.

MATT: "Or after losing, they get thrown under them and ridden around as a victory lap. It gets a little brutal around here sometimes. But these wheels are pretty sturdy, but with a proper side swipe with enough damage done, you can probably take out a front wheel. Also, front wheels when you're moving really fast, if those get destroyed, that's real bad. That means the vehicle's likely to spin out of control and detonate. You're going to want to abandon the vehicle if you feel the front wheel starting to go as soon as humanly possible and if you have a chosen a Prime Deity, to pray hard."

SAM and LAURA: (laugh)

MATT: "These are all imperfect designs because they are built largely from other devices. So they're, I don't want to say prone, but there's always a chance of a little stutter, a skip, a malfunction. Very rare. Very rare. Very funny when it happens, but very rare. So just don't jostle it too much, I would say, best you can."

TRAVIS: How long is the factory warranty on these pieces?

MATT: "(laughs)"

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: "Just be careful. Be careful with it."

SAM: Is there a way, just out of curiosity, in the back behind the cockpit area, is there a way that an automaton's head could just sort of come out and--

TALIESIN: I knew you would.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

SAM: Just sort of--

TALIESIN: I knew you would.

SAM: Just sort of be there?

ASHLEY: Oh, let's go.

MARISHA: Pew, do do do do do.

MATT: "I mean, if you're going to be in the back of it, I can go ahead and quickly throw on a little bit of a--"

SAM: Oh, I don't know. We haven't chosen our drivers yet.

LAURA: Yeah, should figure out our drivers.

MATT: "Fair enough. Then there's the loaner." He points over to the back, and you can see in the corner, hanging on another chain hook, a similar chassis to the one that you have, but does not have any of the additional armor. It has a number of scrapes and holes, and parts at the sides where you can see it's been brought into a few other races before and taken a few hits. It looks definitely serviceable. It doesn't look like it's, you know. (junker car puttering) Like a jalopy about to fall apart.

ERIKA: That was incredible.

MATT: But it definitely looks like it's seen a few runs. It shows the wear and tear. But he assures you. He's like, "But it will definitely run. Just maybe don't push it, don't push it too hard."

SAM: Do you think-- Oh sorry, Dusk.

ERIKA: Please, go ahead.

SAM: I was just going to say, do you think if given what time of day it is right now, which we all know because we're sentient beings so we can see the sun, but I don't know what time it is right now.

MATT: To help illustrate to you, this is actually what it looks like.

LAURA: Oh!

SAM: Ooh!

ASHLEY: Whoa!

MATT: Oh my god.

ERIKA: What? Matthew!

TRAVIS: So good.

LAURA: Oh my god, with the legs in the back.

MARISHA: When did this happen?

LAURA: So fucking cool.

MATT: Recently.

TRAVIS: Gently.

TALIESIN: Gently.

LAURA: Gently.

ERIKA: Gently!

SAM: If the race is tonight at dusk, do you think folks might already be on the track, on the course setting traps and sabotaging?

MATT: "How soon was the race set?"

SAM: Today.

LAURA: Like a few, maybe an hour ago, max.

MATT: "Oh, I'm sure word's gotten around. People are probably gathering to pick their places along The Run to set up chairs, and barrels, and whatever else to watch it from. People are probably jumping into it now throwing their interests into the ring of at all. Probably over the next few hours, I mean, it's pretty rapid turnaround. There's not going to be an opportunity for a lot of set up. Usually, if there's more runway to it, people can really get around planning, but I'm sure folks are going to be trying all sorts of weird last minute shit. That's part of the game."

LAURA: If you throw something in from the sidelines, is that against the rules, or--?

MATT: "Not really, just make sure whoever it hits, none of their friends are near you in the crowd."

LAURA: Makes sense.

ASHLEY: Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay.

SAM: There's a crowd lining the entire course or are there parts where it's more desolate?

MATT: "I mean, it depends on who's racing. We've had a few races where major figures, top-end generals, and the various Crawler gangs are going neck-to-neck, and everyone turns out for that. For this quick turnaround and, no offense, bunch of no-names probably on the road, might be a bit, maybe a little thin, but--"

ERIKA: The arcane batteries, where are they from?

MATT: "I mean, all over the place. Why?"

ERIKA: Just, they're... I've never really seen things like that.

MATT: "Oh. I mean, they're all over Exandria. Many great artificers, crafters, mages, they craft and enchant them and utilize them to run automatons, make them run defensive, protective magic matrices for larger construction spaces. A lot of these run short-run teleportation circles. They are utilized in larger ritual magics. They're multi-use and they're very effective. They're just hard to make and that construction process is fairly guarded by a number of interests out there."

ERIKA: Is there anything we should keep away from them?

MATT: "I mean, anything really pointy coming at it very strongly."

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: "Because they can explode."

ASHLEY: Oh.

SAM: I just realized something.

LAURA: What?

SAM: One wheel, two arms. Am I a skirmisher-crawler?

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: Technically, are you? Like, if you went down, could we enter you into the race?

SAM: I'm going to go on my back and try to--

LAURA: I'm going to sit on top of him. (laughter)

MATT: It is both awkward and terrifying.

ERIKA: (squeaking noises)

SAM: (robotic grunting)

LAURA: But, like, could we technically--

ERIKA: Watch out for the bomb! The bomb! Lift up the bomb!

MATT: Yeah, you are-- your bomb is scraping the floor as you do this. (laughter)

SAM: All right, maybe not.

ERIKA: So just don't jostle the power source too much. But it's like, I mean, it's not like lightning--

LAURA: You could face the ground.

ERIKA: -- or fire is bad for it or something.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: "I mean, it can probably take a little bit of both."

SAM: And you'll sit on my ass.

MATT: "It is arcane power. If it's natural fire, probably resist it pretty well. Lightning, I can't tell you I know what lightning will do to it. There are some devices that it uses magical lightning to channel through, but there is always a point of it being overcharged and things go south from there. It also depends on how old it is and how stable it is. There's a lot of variables involved here. It's an imperfect science."

ASHLEY: Do most of them run on these sort of arcane batteries?

MATT: "Yes. I mean, the larger crawlers have multiple. But for the skirmish-crawlers, they only need the one."

ASHLEY: So the best way to destroy them is with something pointy and explosive?

MATT: "I mean, yeah. You got to really-- it's got to be pretty strong, though. They're sturdy."

ASHLEY: Okay, thank you.

SAM: We're talking this fellow's ear off. He's got to go to work.

ASHLEY: Yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry.

MATT: "You're right, I do."

LAURA: Sorry, Mr. Joe.

MATT: "That's okay. 100 gold?"

ERIKA: Oh, 100 gold. Yeah. I can, if you guys don't have it in the store--

LAURA: No, yeah, I'll contribute 20 to that.

ERIKA: Okay, I'll do 80.

MATT: "All right, between that, can you give me about four hours? It's not going to leave much wiggle room 'til dusk, but you can come here, grab them, ride them over to the Bone Tree, which is usually where it starts."

SAM: Yep.

MATT: "And good luck. I'm going to get back to work." He pulls the face mask down and calls out to somebody inside the shop, "Get me Stanley and Adorna." And the people inside the shop begin to talk and scatter a bit and he shakes his head. "All right, let's bear down." Gets back to fusing the heavy armor onto the crawler that you had purchased.

LAURA: Woo.

SAM: Oh man, this is going to actually happen.

LAURA: Oh man.

SAM: Should we? What?

TALIESIN: We're probably already walking, we're probably close to where you guys are because we did not stay at the--

SAM: We got to figure out how to drive, but we can't do that without the vehicle.

LAURA: Right.

SAM: We could go walk the course?

LAURA: We should go to the course, probably look at it and check it out.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

SAM: We have a bomb we can drop off the back of it.

LAURA: Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.

SAM: What other--

MARISHA: Or plant ahead.

SAM: Or plant ahead. We have folks who can be on the sidelines casting spells.

LIAM: Well, we should figure out who's driving, right?

TALIESIN: Are we together now? Have we joined up the group again? Yeah, okay, that's fine.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

TALIESIN: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

ERIKA: I can ride shotgun and lob stuff.

TALIESIN: Well, shotgun--

LAURA: I feel like shotgun should have somebody with magical spells should be in shotgun.

TALIESIN: The shotgun is a spellcaster.

LAURA: Right?

SAM: The driver should be super agile, right?

TALIESIN: Is this a dex?

SAM: And has got good hand-eye coordination, I suppose.

TALIESIN: Diving is mostly, what skill would you say is most important for that?

MATT: I would say driving with this, you describe to me how you want to apply your abilities to it and that'll determine what it is. There are all sorts of ways that you can try and drive. Certain things will have higher DCs than others. But if you have no dexterity, it doesn't mean you're incapable of driving. You just have to lean on other skill sets.

ERIKA: I think I can lob magic.

TALIESIN: Charisma will be a tough one.

ERIKA: I think Laudna might want to lob magic. I feel like, Chetney, I feel like you're an older gentleman and there's nothing safer driving a vehicle.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah, just technical statistics, I'm the most lethal person behind the wheel.

ERIKA: Yes.

MATT and MARISHA: (laugh)

ERIKA: Exactly.

TRAVIS: I was made for this.

LAURA: I actually think Chetney would probably be really good at driving, honestly.

ERIKA: So Ashton and Chetney take the wheel and Laudna and I--

LAURA: You guys have to be the ones on the vehicles. Like none of us can contribute?

ERIKA: No, because we all have to prove ourselves.

MARISHA: I don't know. But well we just have to prove ourselves with the one. Right? So the others could be--

TRAVIS: It doesn't have to be everybody.

ASHLEY: We can always put on costumes and things so they couldn't see us.

ERIKA: Well, we all said we wanted to join, but I guess we don't all have to join.

TALIESIN: I think the whole point of this is that rules are very shaky in this particular sport.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if whoever's not driving or is riding shotgun has to engage with someone from the Paragon's Call out on the course.

ERIKA: Oh.

TALIESIN: Would I know this? Would I have a sense of whether or not that is a faux pas of pulling outside people for your team? MATT: No, it's not considered a faux pas, as long as somebody who's representing is there, it's pretty flexible.

TRAVIS: Your car has to get there first.

ASHLEY: Because Otohan is using her champions.

MATT: There have been instances where people have started shit, and agreed to meet on The Run and then they show up and their backseat person is a renowned fucking Runner.

TALIESIN: Mm.

MATT: And it's like, "Oh."

TALIESIN: They paid to win.

LAURA: Oh, should we find a renowned Runner?

MATT: Yeah, it happens all the time.

MARISHA: That's kind of cool.

SAM: In a couple hours?

LAURA: Oh.

ERIKA: I say, do you want to ride shotgun in one of the vehicles? You seem like you're pretty powerful with spells.

ASHLEY: I feel like you actually could be pretty good in there.

SAM: A spellcaster would be great. One of the witches.

ERIKA: You want to do that?

LIAM: Yeah, I feel like witches in the back of both, probably.

TALIESIN: As long as nothing bad happens. I'd hate to lose one of you because we crash.

TRAVIS: I mean, there is a rifle back there in one of them. Excuse me, carbine.

LIAM: Also, do they work for all statures, the front seat?

MATT: Yeah. You can see that there are adjustments, both belts and elements of the seat--

LIAM: Boosters.

MATT: Yeah. Elements of the seat that can be adjusted for different body types.

LIAM: Just raise the seat like a bike?

ERIKA: It fits four smaller folks.

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: That's true.

ERIKA: Four smallest folks, if you want to tag along on Chetney's vehicle.

LAURA: That's true.

ASHLEY: That's not a bad idea.

LIAM: That'll do.

ERIKA: You in Chetney's vehicle with one of you two riding shotgun and then Ashton drives.

SAM: I've got some spells.

MARISHA: Would you be like a hood ornament just in the front?

LAURA: (laughs)

SAM: Technically, I've got a wheel, so I can be pushed along in front of the vehicle or dragged along behind on a chain.

MARISHA: That's very Fury Road.

MATT: So here's the thing. The vehicle can fit up to four small folk. Having four people crammed in a space like that, it makes driving challenging and maneuverability very dangerous. You can do it.

ASHLEY: So maybe three smalls?

LAURA: Yeah, the more we put on there, the worse we're going to do as far as driving maneuverability.

MATT: But it's doable.

MARISHA: -- ground fuckery? That's another thing, too.

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: Fearne just had a very devilish smile.

ASHLEY: And I mean, I'm-- I'm pretty good at fuckery in general.

TALIESIN: Well, definitely fuckery is your artform.

LIAM: I also had an idea. Maybe if we checked out the course, I could find a good spot to wait and try to jump on one and take over.

LAURA: Oh, you could jump on another vehicle.

ASHLEY: Ooh.

MARISHA: That's pretty cool.

LIAM: Because I'm only good at driving, really. I can't really do anything if I'm the plus one, I'm just this.

MARISHA: Yeah.

ERIKA: I'll be your plus one.

ASHLEY: That's up close and personal stuff.

LAURA: You'd be a good driver, though.

TRAVIS: Jump on is fucking awesome, I'm just going to say.

LAURA: That's a really good idea.

ASHLEY: Well, I feel like you would be a good driver, Orym.

LIAM: Well, let's see if we can get us a third vehicle.

LAURA: Ashton, you've got to be on one. It's your lifelong dream.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I'm well aware.

LIAM: You'd also just look--

LAURA: You'd look badass.

LIAM: You're getting to be badass.

TALIESIN: I know, thank you. I'm very excited by this.

TRAVIS: Yeah, but Ashton's good for shooting a car and being a driver because he doesn't have any range. Well, that's not true. He bamfed into fucking portals and shit.

LAURA: It's true.

TALIESIN: My range is-- what's the word I'm looking for?

MARISHA: It's pretty dope. It just depends on what we get on the day, though.

LIAM: It's a random roll.

TALIESIN: Yeah, it's temperamental.

TRAVIS: Who wants to drive? Raise a hand.

LAURA: I could try, but--

TRAVIS: No. I mean, who wants to drive?

ERIKA: Now, I say what we do is we have the two vehicles, Ashton, Chetney driving. Chetney and Ashton, pick your seconds.

TRAVIS: No.

LAURA: Oh yeah. (laughter)

ERIKA: All right. Do you two want to do the shotgunning?

LAURA: I could do fuckery.

ERIKA: For these two?

LAURA: I could do some fuckery.

ERIKA: You'll do fuckery with Ashton, you'll do fuckery with Chetney. You and I will wait out on the course waiting for commandeer a third vehicle.

LIAM: Okay.

ERIKA: Fearne, you wanted to do back up on the course?

ASHLEY: Yes. I can just run around and just--

ERIKA: Can you be a flying animal of some sort?

ASHLEY: -- do what I do best. I can't. I don't know how to fly. Maybe one day.

LAURA: I'm sure one day you'll be able to fly.

ASHLEY: I'm think one day maybe, yeah. I'm going to work real hard on it.

LAURA: You're going to figure it out.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I'll figure it out.

SAM: If Chetney's driving one, I can technically fit on that one as well.

ASHLEY: Maybe next time.

ERIKA: That's true, you wouldn't add much weight.

LIAM: Fearne.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LIAM: You could blast vehicles from the side. You could throw a hole down on the ground. I've seen you do some nutty things.

SAM: You could throw our hole of holding.

LIAM: That's what I'm talking about.

MARISHA: Just make a big old pothole.

LIAM: That's what I'm talking about.

ASHLEY: Are you saying you want me on a vehicle or are you saying on the side of the road?

LIAM: I think you're an ambush squad, a one-woman ambush squad.

ASHLEY: Yeah. I have some ideas.

MARISHA: We also have a bomb that we haven't used.

SAM: Which we can toss of the back of a moving wheel--

LAURA: Yeah, that would be great.

SAM: -- or we can throw from the ground.

MARISHA: You'd place it.

SAM: Yeah.

TALIESIN: We do have dynamite.

ASHLEY: Oh goodness, I have such good ideas.

LAURA: Dynamite sticks.

MARISHA: We do have dynamite. Oh my gosh.

TALIESIN: And if something goes horribly wrong, we'll have you on the sideline to hopefully get there real fast to undo some damage if something bad happens.

SAM: Or I could ride on Chetney's vehicle.

ERIKA: What do you feel like you could contribute on Chetney's vehicle?

SAM: I do have some spells that are of a range a little bit. But I could also heal y'all if you get in trouble. Is Chetney going to be driving the better vehicle or is Ashton going to be driving the better vehicle?

TRAVIS: Ash should be driving the better vehicle. It's your dream, right?

TALIESIN: Yeah. I mean, it is. I've wanted this since I was young. But still, we've got to be-- This is also about being practical and being smart.

LIAM: Danger zone.

LAURA and TALIESIN: ♪ Danger zone ♪

TRAVIS: Speaking my language.

TALIESIN: As much as I want to drive, I also want to win.

ERIKA: We also don't have to win. We just have to survive.

TALIESIN: We don't have to win. So that's actually really good.

TRAVIS: I think we actually do have to win.

MARISHA: Yeah, we're kind of here for winning.

TALIESIN: Winning is actually the point.

MARISHA: I really want to win, though.

TRAVIS: I like that idea, but--

TALIESIN: Yeah. I mean, surviving, yeah, that's the hope. That's definitely second place, surviving.

LIAM: These are your stomping grounds, though. You're familiar. I think you should be in the best vehicle.

TALIESIN: That's fair, I do technically have some idea of the track.

MATT: You do. The track is generally divided or considered to be divided into three major stretches. There's The Skids, which is where it starts at the Bone Tree, which is a massive 20-foot tall tree, constructed from all manner of bleached bones from creatures that have been scavenged across the Hellcatch Valley that spiders out towards the top. A number of skulls and horned skulls set around the middle of its trunk looking outward.

ERIKA: Let me ask you this something. You can cast Fly, but just on yourself?

LAURA: Hmm. Let me think about it.

MATT: While you're thinking about it, so it begins at The Skids--

ERIKA: Just thought you could make--

LIAM: Part two is--

ERIKA: -- the robot with the healing spells fly, yeah?

LAURA: I can make anybody fly.

ERIKA: Then you can probably make the robot with the healing spells fly along with the rest of the crew, yeah?

TALIESIN: He'll get shot down. FCG will get shot down.

LAURA: It's like a very--

TALIESIN: That's too much of a target.

LAURA: -- very open target.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LAURA: But I could make anybody fly, technically.

TALIESIN: Flying automaton, that's definitely a target. I would take it down. That's just what I would do if I saw one. So that would be my first impulse.

LAURA: And a lot of people look at him.

ERIKA: How high up can you go?

TALIESIN: It's just more fall--

LAURA: As high as they want, but it's a 60-feet movement.

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: He can go pretty decently fast, but not as fast as probably one of these skirmishers.

ERIKA: Okay. I say that he goes above the whole course, fly in if anybody needs anything.

SAM: We can also do that during the match, if we need it.

ERIKA: Yeah.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah.

TALIESIN: Worst case scenario.

MATT: To continue breaking it down. So the first part is The Skids, where it begins, and goes through a large portion of the urban environment of the city. A lot of tight road turnarounds, a lot of hairpin turns, a lot of--

ERIKA: And that's where most of the booby traps are.

MATT: That's where a lot of them are usually. There are a number that are placed towards the beginning and there are some that are placed towards the end because it bookends at the same location. The Bone Tree marks the beginning and the end of the actual race. Going through The Skids, the main road eventually ends or emerges from the city and heads down into the ravine on a switchback course that goes down the cliff side into the ravine that surrounds the platform-like mesa bit of rock that the city of Bassuras is built upon. Down into the ravine, it eventually goes into a cave network within the rock itself before emerging on the other side of this large mountain platform, and there it begins to switchback up the side. That's the ravine portion, the middle section.

LAURA: That would be a good place to jump on.

MATT: With more time, there are people that set traps or ambushes in there. With this sort of a circumstance, you're uncertain. But there are natural dangers occasionally that are found in that area. Or if there are flash floods, if they ever do a Run during one of the monsoons that blows through here, that place can flood and be a huge danger. There are all manner of indigenous creatures that live in the Hellcatch that sometimes call that area home. But when you find your way out of the ravine, what's called the climb, which is the switchback up the side, which is challenging because it's much easier to go downhill than uphill.

LAURA: ♪ I can almost see it ♪

MATT: A lot of the race here tends to be vehicular combat as opposed to just racing.

TALIESIN: So you get knocked out if you're fallen.

MATT: Correct. And everyone's moving at a slightly slower speed. So it tends to offer a little more of a moment to focus on your opponents. Once the climb is finished then it comes to the Carmine Curtain, which is the giant red walls that surround the city.

LAURA: The Carmine...?

MATT: Carmine Curtain is the massive red wall that surrounds the inner portion of Bassuras and separates it from the Outer Skids. This brings you back into The Skids and is the second urban part of the race. More dangerous road turns, but it's a little more of a straightaway. But this is where a lot of the people gather, which means there's also more spectacle and more dangers set. Most folks like to set their bigger traps towards the end to try and even the score or to just make a spectacle of the finale.

TALIESIN: Sure.

MATT: So that's what you have to look forward to.

LAURA: How long of a race is it? Does it normally take...

MATT: Oh, the full race? We'll say, if you run uninterrupted, will take about 15, 20 minutes.

ERIKA: Ooh.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Maybe a little shorter if you're rocking it pretty well and the weather's good. It's a long trek. It goes down into a ravine, through the caverns, up the side, and back into the city.

TALIESIN: Banana peels.

ASHLEY: How fast do the--

TALIESIN: Turtle shells.

MATT: Oh yeah.

ASHLEY: How fast do the vehicles go?

MATT: You don't know.

ASHLEY: We don't know, okay.

ERIKA: Okay.

TALIESIN: Pretty fast.

MATT: When you pick up your vehicle, you'll find out.

ASHLEY: Okay.

ERIKA: My proposal, if everybody doesn't mind, is Ashton and Imogen on the good vehicle, Chetney and Laudna on the loaner, Orym and I wait in The Skids area on a higher enough vantage point to ambush and acquire a third vehicle. FCG gets slapped with a Fly spell beforehand, just in case.

SAM: Not happening.

LAURA: It only lasts for 10 minutes.

SAM: Not happening.

LAURA: So it won't last the entire--

SAM: No, I'm not flying, sorry. I'll be on one of the vehicles. I don't want to be in the air.

ERIKA: Why don't...

TRAVIS: Yeah, if you get shot down, they fall all the way.

SAM: Yeah, I'm fine. I just--

LIAM: Everyone who meets FCG--

SAM: I want to be close to the people that I need to protect.

LIAM: Also, anyone who sees you, meets you is immediately taken aback, so we would be putting you in the air like a weather balloon.

SAM: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: That's true.

LAURA: It's like a flying target.

MARISHA: Robotnapped.

ASHLEY: Okay.

ERIKA: Okay. I guess Fearne is running support along the sidelines. I suppose you can be an animal that's fast enough, maybe, to take on these skirmishers.

SAM: A rat.

ASHLEY: I have some--

LAURA and LIAM: (laugh)

ASHLEY: I have some very, very naughty ideas already.

MATT: (laughs)

ASHLEY: So, I think. Actually, let me see if I have something that could go faster. Question.

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: As an animal, I can't cast my own spells, right? That's a total--

MATT: No.

ASHLEY: That's right, okay.

MATT: You can cast a spell and then go into animal form and maintain concentration on it. But you can't cast spells while in your beast form.

ASHLEY: Yeah, okay. Okay.

ERIKA: Does that sound good?

LAURA: Do y'all think that's the best place for an ambush, as far as jumping onto a skirmisher in The Skids? Or would you--

ASHLEY: I feel going cliffs.

LAURA: I feel like the ravine--

ASHLEY: Or the ravine.

LAURA: -- is probably right, when it switches over to the ravine, would be a good place to--

LIAM: You could grab switchbacks.

ERIKA: That's almost halfway through the race, though. You think you'll be able to hang on before then?

TALIESIN: Oh yeah.

MARISHA: It's all just about crossing the finish line.

LAURA: It's the first thing out once you leave The Skids, I mean, then you enter the ravine. There's a lot more after that.

MARISHA: That uphill climb is interesting, too, if we could blast someone off the cliff.

ERIKA: I say we take the ravine. It's a good, high--

LIAM: Early in the ravine.

ERIKA: -- vantage point.

ASHLEY: I'm just trying to figure out how to keep up with you guys.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: I know.

TALIESIN: Whatever looks doable is, I suppose, what, we should head down to the track and check it out right now.

LAURA: You could always be in animal form on one of the cars and then bamf out as you need to.

MARISHA: That's true.

TALIESIN: Ooh. That sounds dangerous, but--

MARISHA: That's very true.

ASHLEY: Mm, once I bamf out once, I don't think I can go back into it.

LAURA: Yeah, no, you'd have to bamf out--

MARISHA: You'd have to have good timing.

LAURA: Then create mayhem and then you'd be probably where you are.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LIAM: What if you were the closer? What if you were in the last stretch?

MATT: You can beast form--

LIAM: Or set traps crazy, and you're there with your portable hole--

ASHLEY: Okay, maybe that's where to go.

LIAM: And all your ideas.

LAURA: You get to beast form twice?

MATT: You can do beast form twice per rest.

LAURA: Oh, you can do it twice.

SAM: But she did it already once.

ASHLEY: Twice, I did it already.

ASHLEY: Oh, once today because I was a rat.

MATT: But it's per short rest, if I recall right.

ASHLEY: Say again?

MATT: Short rest to do it.

ASHLEY: Oh.

MATT: So you can get a short rest in the interim and you should be able to do it again.

ASHLEY: It's an option. The ideas that I'm thinking in my head all are just me, but I can definitely--

SAM: That's all the ideas I've ever had.

ASHLEY: So--

MARISHA: All right, well, we can continue to chat.

MATT: Yes, you can continue to chat.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: This is a good enough plan that I'm worried.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I like it.

MATT: We will say, as you talk and discuss and plot your day, eventually, the sun gets lower and lower in the sky. You return to Imahara Joe's--

LAURA: Oh god.

MATT: And there waiting for you is the second. (cheering)

SAM: We requested red.

MARISHA: We did request red.

SAM: So... No, I'm kidding.

MATT: They did not finish the red.

LAURA: No, he said that we could paint it ourselves if we wanted to, they weren't going to do that.

MATT: He doesn't do body--

MARISHA: We'll paint it with the *blood of our enemies!*

MATT: These are all the statistics for both of them.

SAM: Ooh, stats, stats!

LAURA: We should put Bells Hells' logo on one of them, at least. The one that's not the loaner.

LIAM: Here, pass that to that side of the table.

ASHLEY and MARISHA: ♪ Stats stats stats ♪

MATT: One of them has slightly higher armor class than the other.

ERIKA and ASHLEY: ♪ Everybody! ♪

MATT: The one that has the lower one, that is the loaner.

LAURA: Okay.

TALIESIN: AC 18.

LIAM: What's the AC on that one?

SAM: 17.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: That's the loaner.

MATT: So that's the loaner there.

SAM: This one's only 60 feet speed.

TALIESIN: Same.

LAURA: Oh, okay.

MATT: It's 60 feet speed, but if you look. It can bonus action dash. So you can spend your action to dash and bonus action dash. So in one round, you can do 180.

SAM: Oh, got it, got it.

LIAM: Nitrous! (deeply) Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

SAM: Oh, we're not going to pass it--

LAURA: Okay, we really got to fucking think about this shit.

MARISHA: All right.

MATT: So.

ERIKA: Do we?

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: Those of you that are taking to the vehicle, you receive them, Imahara Joe shows you the process of how to get behind them, how to start the proverbial arcane engine behind it and you hear the (engine roaring). It hums--

ERIKA: (whispers) These have passive perception?

MATT: And growls.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: It's an automaton, technically, it is a creature. Technically.

ERIKA: Are you saying these things are sentient?

MATT: No.

LAURA: Not sentient.

MATT: But it is technically a creature. It can be targeted like a creature.

LAURA: Cool.

ERIKA: It has passive perception?

MATT: Yeah.

ERIKA: Okay.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

ERIKA: (laughs) It has negative five charisma. Would we get a charisma bump if we Prestidigitate it red?

MATT: Only one way to find out.

ERIKA: Okay.

SAM: (laughs)

MARISHA: It's like a Tesla. It's got cameras in it, you know?

MATT: (laughs) Oh god.

ERIKA: Good.

MARISHA: It can see around it.

MATT: There you go. You have your vehicles and getting onto them and feeling that growl, that purr of it, it's frightening, and at the same time, oddly intoxicating. As you begin to lean into the handle in the front, you feel it (revving) begin to take off at a faster speed than you expect. From the outside, you can see the arcane battery, the engine-like device beneath flash and spark bits of energy, just arc across it little spider threads of lightning and it picks up a bit and it begins to just carve through the dust. Takes a second to get your bearings, but you who are driving it, you have enough time to get a little more affiliated with it and take it for a test run through some of the streets.

LAURA: Nice.

SAM: Ooh, nice.

MATT: However, dusk is rapidly approaching.

ASHLEY: (whispers) Oh shit.

MATT: As you begin to feel the mounting tension, you also see people out in the roads along the path as you begin to approach the area of the Carmine Skids where the Bone Tree is supposed to be, at your guidance and behest. People are gathering.

SAM: Oh boy.

MATT: Clusters of three, five, a dozen. At certain corners and areas in the sides, people are putting up big wooden barriers on the edges to connotate the edge of the roadway, and to both give people a level of protection to stand behind as they watch the race scream on by. You can see there are also dividers that are large log barriers with all manner of spikes jutting out from it. Boundaries, as well as possible engagements, should someone be so interested as to push it out in the middle of the roadway. You can see folks are mounting themselves up on top of buildings to get higher vantage points upon this race. While it's not the streets being entirely flooded with individuals, there's definitely a growing air of excitement and energy that you haven't yet felt since you've arrived in Bassarus. Though it's something that you are familiar with, but haven't felt in quite some time. As you eventually round the corner, you can see there along the edge, maybe a good 15, 20 or so feet from the outside wall of the Carmine Curtain, the towering deep crimson walls of the city, you can see twisting upward and spreading out and then clustered elements of antlers, and clawed hands of larger beasts that are all held together with large wires that have been bound through and twisted through hundreds and hundreds of creature bones and skeletons to create this large standing tree of death, that is a unique, terrifying landmark on the outside of the city. There, a larger crowd is gathered, all manner of lanterns that dangle from the long stretched cables and threads between the buildings and large lamppost-like poles that hold on the top, glowing, flickering baubles of energy or hanging oil lanterns. Here you can see in the ground carved a little ravine, if you will, or a groove in the ground that marks the line where this begins. There, you can already see four other skirmishers that have gathered with a unique array of individuals who have come to embark in this. You see two of the drivers, their crawlers already side by side, are in the process of screaming at each other and pointing. They're just shouting angry curses at each other. One of them goes like, "Take that, Erad, I'm going to kill you tonight! You fucking fuck fork!" (laughter)

MARISHA: Fuck fork?

SAM: Amazing.

MARISHA: That's a good one.

ASHLEY: That's a good one and I love it.

MARISHA: Going to have to remember that one.

MATT: As you're saying that, somebody in the crowd next to you goes like, "Oh, no, that's his name, Erad Fuckfork. That's his name." (laughter)

MATT: You see one meaty-looking orc, dark tan, grayish skin tone, arms muscular and built. They have all manner of bright orange paint that looks like it's been dragged across their shoulders and arms, almost like a war paint look. They wear on their face a cracked human skull that's a little bit too small and it just rests over the front of their features, their eyes poking through. They're just standing or sitting in the middle of the chassis of the crawler, leaning up and looking over the rest of the crowd, chewing on the remnants of some gamey turkey leg. Just eating it through this skull mask. It's smearing this grease across the front of its bleached white bone. In the back seat, you can see this tiny goblinoid figure that you see he has this bulbous pumpkin of a nose in the front and a large underbite that curls outward, where these large pointy tusks stick out the bottom. The long goblin ears fan outward, and one of them, you see ends prematurely where it looks like it got clipped or cut off. On his face as well, the same orange spray is pulled across the front of the face to match the theme of his driver. In the back, you can see mounted, he's currently loading in with a large satchel that he's tying on the back, a built-in ballista to the back of this crawler. Already upon arrival, a unique spread of both onlookers and participants in this race.

ERIKA: Oh boy.

MATT: But as you gather your thoughts and prepare for the coming tension, we're going to go ahead and call it there.

ERIKA: Are you kidding me?

MATT: So we have some time for you guys to think and plan--

LAURA: And figure out--

MATT: And figure out what you want to do between sessions.

SAM: We're going to go watch "Days of Thunder," is what we're going to do.

ERIKA: Ha, ha, ha!

MARISHA: Everyone go watch "Fury Road," everyone go watch "Days of Thunder."

ASHLEY: Ooh, I'm excited. I have ideas.

MATT: Next time, we get to-- (oohing)

SAM: Are you going to make a little Hot Wheels track for us?

ASHLEY: How fun!

ERIKA: Slot cars! Slot cars!

MATT: I got plans.

MARISHA: "Gone in Sixty Seconds," all the things! We got to research, you guys.

ASHLEY: Maybe we need to research--

ERIKA: Family!

ASHLEY: -- by going to a go-kart racing place.

LAURA: Oh my god. Oh my god, we should all go go-kart racing together--

ASHLEY: We should go go-karting just to like--

LAURA: -- before the game.

SAM: Just for research.

MARISHA: To prepare!

LIAM: That'll solve it.

SAM: Business expense?

MATT: (laughs) That'll solve it.

MARISHA: Sounds pretty good.

LAURA: Oh my god, that sounds amazing.

TALIESIN: Isn't there one in town that actually does "Mario Kart" where you actually can like--

ERIKA: No, that's in Tokyo.

TALIESIN: That's in Tokyo. I thought we had "Mario Kart"?

MATT: We're not that cool.

MARISHA: No, that's in Tokyo.

TRAVIS: Well, I guess we're going to Tokyo.

ERIKA: (shouts) We're going to Tokyo!

MATT: There we go. Business expense.

MARISHA: Oh my god, all right--

SAM: Wow.

MATT: I cannot fucking wait.

TALIESIN: I'm so excited.

ASHLEY: Oh my god, I'm so excited.

TALIESIN: Hurt us, hurt us bad.

MATT: All right, we'll be back for the next session to pick up here at the start of the Deathwish Run.

MARISHA: Oh boy.

MATT: As well as the numerous interesting mysteries that are still coming and shortly after this race, the following day, it looks like we have a possible reunion with Mama Calloway.

LAURA: (groans)

MATT: So--

MARISHA: Wait before the race?

SAM: No, after.

TALIESIN: Right after.

MATT: The next day.

SAM: During.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

MATT: Yeah, mid-race--

ASHLEY: Hang on, Mom!

MATT: She's on this one! (laughter)

SAM: Birdie!

ASHLEY: (high-pitched) Mama?

LIAM: (old timey) Good to see ya!

MATT: Super excited. Thank you all for coming along with us. We love you very much, and is it Thursday yet?

TALIESIN: No.

ASHLEY: No, it's not!

MATT: Good night!