Transcript:Trust

List of Transcripts

Pre-Show
MATT: Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight’s episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons and Dragons. Tonight, picking up from a crazy episode last week, we have Percy among us still.

TALIESIN: Hi! Ugh, my product!

MATT: We’ll get through a few announcements. One, apparently this is the night where we all wear the same shirt, because that happened. Also, three of us may have gone to a CHVRCHES concert on Monday and are obsessed with them, so there’s that. Anyway. Let’s jump in here. First and foremost, tonight is our fantastic sponsor returning as often as they do and thank you so much, Loot Crate!

(cheering)

SAM: Loot Crate. The theme of this month is horror. I’ve been dabbling in the hip-hop world lately, so I prepared a little rap. It’s pretty street, guys.

LAURA: Oh no! No, you are not doing that right now!

SAM: It’s going to be pretty hardcore, so buckle up. Maestro, I need a track.

[hip-hop music]

SAM: A little louder. Got to feel a jam here. My name is MC Sammy, and I’m here to say, I love Loot Crate in a major way. Their boxes are fly and full of loot. You’ll feel real dope and that’s no bull shoot! Yeah! (record scratch) I’m funky fresh, a real hip-hopper and we got a discount to save you some copper. If you use our code you can save three bucks! And if you don’t, I don’t give a fu– beatbox break down. (beat boxing)

(laughter)

SAM: There’s more.

TRAVIS: I have the hiccups!

SAM: So in conclus– oh.

(laughter)

SAM: So in conclusion, listen up, G, I’m down with Loot Crate and with OPP. Their swag is the bomb, and their threads rocks. You want horror? It’s in the box! Word!

LAURA: Wow!

MATT: Thank you, Sam!

SAM: Sure.

LAURA: That made me sweat.

SAM: Man. That went really well.

MATT: That did not at all send hip-hop back to 1991.

MARISHA: I think I saw that in my D.A.R.E. class.

(laughter)

MATT: Thank you, Loot Crate, for allowing us, week after week, to have Sam do this. Thank you. Thank you, Sam.

SAM: Also, lootcrate.com/criticalrole now goes to a custom Critical Role page within lootcrate.com, and you should check it out. Love you all. Word to your mama.

(laughter)

MATT: All righty! Next up on the list.

LIAM: I knew this episode would start in tears.

(laughter)

MATT: It hasn’t even started yet! Laura, do you want to talk about merch stuff coming up here?

LAURA: Merch stuff coming up?

MATT: Preorders are still going?

LAURA: Yeah, preorders for the hoodies are still going on, aren’t they? How about that, guys? They’re still happening. You can still order those for I think a whole other week. No? Am I wrong? I’m stroking out so hard. For another week!

MARISHA: Continuing the 1991 trend.

MATT: All right. The next thing we want to mention, as ‘tis the season of Halloween, we are announcing tonight, leading up to the end of the month, we’re having a Critical Role Halloween costume contest. If any of you guys are dressing up as anything Critical Role related whatsoever, go ahead and tweet it at us or Instagram it at us with the hashtag #CriticalCostumes. Together, one word. #CriticalCostumes. We’ll have a winner and a runner-up. Prizes are to be determined. Sam is dead-set on giving away a bunch of his old shirts. That might be one of them. We’ll figure it out.

TALIESIN: It’s going to be a Halloween treat.

LAURA: We don’t know what we’re doing yet.

MARISHA: No. I also didn’t tell Geek and Sundry we were doing this.

MATT: This isn’t a Geek and Sundry contest. This is our contest. We are doing this with you guys. We’ll be figuring out prizes. Yeah. #CriticalCostumes. You’ll have to the end of the month up until Halloween proper. We shall determine a winner and runner-up. Excited to see what you guys do. Laura and Travis, you want to talk about another episode of another project you guys are working on?

TRAVIS: I will! We’re both in Telltale’s the Batman series, which is great. Laura plays Catwoman. I play Harvey Dent. Episode two released last week or the week before. I think it was last week. It’s really great. It’s on major consoles, PS4, Xbox One. You can get it on your phone now, too, so check it out and watch us be a part of the Batman rogues’ gallery. Yeah. And save Harvey Dent. Don’t worry about Catwoman. She’s a piece of cat poop.

MATT: There you have it.

LIAM: That’s a line straight from the game!

TRAVIS: You can look forward to that kind of writing.

LAURA: In addition, though, to Batman: The Telltale Series, Gears of War is launching on the 11th. We just did a big live event yesterday. Gears of War 4. If you got the Ultimate Edition, you can download it and you can play it early. As in, tonight. Which, you shouldn’t do. You should be watching us. But you could do it after you’re done watching us. TRAVIS: It’s pretty sweet. I played it a bunch. It’s really great.

MATT: That’s fantastic.

MARISHA and TALIESIN: War harder.

MATT: Other couple of announcements. Really amazing isometric RPG that me and few of you guys have worked on. Liam, you worked on it. Sam, did you work on Masquerada?

SAM: Which?

MATT: Masquerada?

SAM: Nope!

MATT: Nope! Me and Liam worked on Masquerada. It came out last week on Steam, and I believe it will be available on consoles later in the year. It’s a great story, incredibly well-written, fantastic cast.

LIAM: Matt is very fancy in it.

MATT: Yes! I highly recommend it. I’m really proud of the game. If you like really good narrative stories and great character development, I highly recommend it. Check out Masquerada on Steam. Coming up towards the end of this month, too, Titanfall 2.

LAURA: Your trailer looks so good!

MATT: I play the protagonist in the single-player mode. You should check it out. You get to have a fun buddy cop experience with me and your titan. Check that out in a few weeks, guys.

LIAM: That’s all I’m allowed to say. I also play a guy. Yeah. Okay. That’s it.

LAURA: That’s as far it gets right now.

TRAVIS: We’re basically in all the video games, you guys.

SAM: I’m not in that one, apparently.

TALIESIN: Apparently not.

SAM: Yeah, well, Matt, are you in Blue Robot 13? Yeah. Are you in Verdant Lightning? Yeah.

LAURA: Are those real games?

SAM: No, they’re not real.

TALIESIN: They could’ve been, though. I was nodding like, yeah, Verdant Lightning. I have that.

MATT: Couple of other quick announcements. Me and Taliesin, not this weekend but the weekend after, will be in New Hampshire at Another Anime Con. We’ll be doing panels and signings and fun stuff there. Those of you guys in that vicinity, come say hello to us. Bring things and books to sign and bring questions for our panels, because we will be lonely otherwise. (German accent) And it would be a great time to meet you, and make your way to Another Anime Convention. We’ll see you there.

TALIESIN: (German accent) We’ll be doing these accents–

SAM: That’s your New Hampshire accent?

MATT: (German accent) That’s what they sound like in New Hampshire, is that correct? (normal voice) Last but not least, guys, please don’t forget to vote.

TALIESIN: Register!

LAURA: Register to vote! You’ve still got some time.

MARISHA: And then vote.

MATT: Deadlines for most states are coming up pretty soon. California has until October 24th as the deadline to register. Please register so you can go out and vote. It’s so important, you guys. Oh my god. Seriously, we’re living in an Orwellian fantasy right now. Please vote.

MARISHA: We’ll be there, waiting in lines at public schools just like everybody else.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we’re going to come to the line that you would go to if you vote because we know which ones you’re going to be at. We’ll shake your hand. We’re going to be there for each one of you. Individually. Like Santa Claus.

MATT: Travis will be there at each individual one at the speed of light.

TALIESIN: My voting center actually has a tank out front that’s a National Guard center that we play on the tank. There’ll be a picture of me with a tank later.

MARISHA: That’s cool!

TALIESIN: Yeah, it’s nice.

MATT: Unless we have any other announcements, I think it’s time to bring us down to tonight’s episode of Critical Role.

[dramatic music]

Part I
MATT: Hello, and welcome back. So! Picking up where we last left off. Vox Machina, our band of adventurers, had been collecting the Vestiges of Divergence, a series of artifacts to prepare for their coming encounter with Thordak the Cinder King and the rest of the Chroma Conclave, a group of evil, ancient dragons that banded together to tear across and dominate the Tal'Dorei countryside. During their most recent journey, they were tailing a competitive group searching for these same artifacts led by a forgotten villain of the past known as Dr. Ripley. They were led into a trap, and a heavy battle took place, one that claimed the life of Percival. The party retrieved his body, took it back to Whitestone, and through a series of very lucky rolls and imploring his soul to return, once freeing it from the devouring jaws of Orthax the shadow demon, he was restored to life. Celebration was short-lived thus far. After an evening’s rest, they were asked by their old ally, Seeker Assum, to meet them upstairs in Castle Whitestone in the war room for a very important meeting. Upon arriving around the central table, Assum revealed himself to actually be Raishan, the green dragon and member of the Chroma Conclave that you had not seen since the original attack on Emon, and left you last with the bombshell and bit of information that Raishan’s here to make an alliance and as you are, as well, Raishan is interested in the destruction and downfall of Thordak, the Cinder King. And that’s where we’re going to pick up. Having just revealed through the somewhat transformed eyebrows, eyes, and upper face of the hairless, tattooed and scarred side head of Seeker Assum, you can see the reptilian green scales billow out and become glowing yellowish reptilian eyes peeking through. The voice modulates into more of a deeper, but thin, reedy hiss after Assum looks to you all as Raishan and says, “I wish to kill the Cinder King. Now, do you accept my alliance?”

LAURA: That’s it? We’re just supposed to trust you?

MATT: “No! I assumed you’d ask questions. I’m an open book. What do you require?”

LIAM: Why in the fuck should we trust you?

MATT: “You shouldn’t, to be perfectly honest. I am a being that rides the line between what’s true and what’s false, and I know your research has spoken the same. However, strange circumstances make for strange bedfellows. And circumstances as they are, I think you have very little choice, as do I.”

LIAM: What do you claim your motives to be?

MATT: “Listen for a moment, and I’ll tell you a bit about the history of this green dragon before you. My home is south of here within the jungles of the Rifenmist Peninsula along the southern side of the Stormcrest. That is where I met the Cinder King nearly two decades ago. He encroached upon my territory. We battled then, an exhausting struggle over days. Thordak is keen of eye, however, and older than I. He held his assault. He saw me, and he saw my disease. I was cursed a half-century ago, when I infiltrated and toppled a temple of Melora that was being built by a high druid for her roving peons. As I consumed her last follower, broke the druid upon her altar, she gave her dying breath to spite me. This sickness that she imparted was merely an inconvenience, but as the years wore on, it spread and worsened. I left my pursuits of base interests and began to obsess over a cure for this before it took me. I burned through servant after servant to find anything on such a disease. Everything failed. Everything. Thordak somehow noted and recognized my ailment. He said, ‘You are unwell. A rare malady upon you. It will claim you, in time. However, I’ve traveled the world, I’ve gathered many secrets, and I know how to be rid of it. To burn it out of your system with a fire you will never find. I’ve done it before. I can burn away the worst of illnesses.’ Now, I am a creature that can pierce any lie by nature. I know in my heart that he spoke the truth that day, that dragon. When asked what he wanted in return, he said, 'Your servitude.’ We made an agreement. He would return once he marked his domain. We discussed the terms. However, he did not return. I grew furious and sought answers only to find that he was brought low and sealed away by some assembled others, some fools from Emon. It took me years of seeking, but I found his whereabouts. I was not going to let my chance to strike away this bloody curse slip from me, so I met him on the fire plane. Over the years, I saw his swelling, his pained form. He spoke of plans, ideas for vengeance and domination, but he would not relinquish the secrets he promised me until I released him. I proposed the Conclave. I assembled the others. I negotiated the agreements. I corrupted the binding stone. I prepared the Pyrah gate. I did everything!

"As time went on, Thordak’s clarity muddled. It seemed his bindings, the power that he was absorbing, was beginning to drive him mad, so we did not have any more time. I needed to initiate the escape before he lost enough to forget our agreement, the means to even fulfill his side of the bargain. No celestial solstice as planned, but Winter’s Crest would have to do. And with Thordak freed, the Conclave assembled, Tal'Dorei was razed, divided, and won. But Thordak still withheld his words. He laughs at my requests. I see now that he does not mean to tell me, and never really did, as his mind began to go. He enjoys his seat of power over all of you, over me. I want him dead! I want to watch him be torn apart, I want to see his eyes go cold and in that very moment, I want to call his spirit back and bind his word to tell me how I can save myself. And then laugh at his misfortune as I tear what’s left of him. That is why I come to you. I have not the power to take him myself.”

MARISHA: Thordak will experience all of those things. He will burn and he will suffer and you will not be there to watch it happen.

LAURA: Keyleth?

MARISHA: You want to feel the burning inside of you? Oh, you will feel it, Raishan. But it will not be from Thordak or whatever proposed cure he made up. The burning you feel will be from the souls of ten thousand Fire Ashari as they sear your flesh, and the last thing that you will see will be my face as I watch you suffer, as you watched a quarter of my civilization burn!

MATT: “Child, I commend your bravery in the face of certain doom, but think before you give in to such base passions. There is much to be gained by us working together, and so much more to be lost.”

MARISHA: Oh, you commend me for bravery? Oh, Raishan, for someone who is supposed to be so smart– I am not afraid! I know what you are. You are a parasite. You walk around calling yourself a magnificent ancient dragon. You are nothing more than a leech. You consumed the energy of my people for years! And we’re supposed to just trust you?

MATT: “Child, your anger is misplaced–”

MARISHA: (shouting) Call me child one more goddamn time!

TRAVIS: I move behind Keyleth.

MATT: “I did not slay a single one of your people. Thordak’s release destroyed the top of that mountain–”

MARISHA: (shouting) Which you did! You unleashed the mad dog, you bitch! This is your fucking fault! (quieter) He’s just a mad king. As you said so yourself, you’re the master planner! But your plan backfired, didn’t it? So now you’ve come to us, and you think that you can formulate some other master plan that’s still going to somehow get you what you want! You dumb fool. When will you fucking learn?

MATT: “Keyleth.”

MARISHA: Raishan.

MATT: “Do not mistake my grace in this room for need of conflict, nor foolhardy wishes. If I wanted each one of you dead, I would be chewing on your bones right now.”

TALIESIN: I think, perhaps, if I may be so bold as to tidy up what Keyleth is trying to drive home here, is that for all intents and purposes from this side of the table, you strike me as a desperate creature who’s pretending that he has a choice to be here and has brought– she, excuse me. That is another conversation. You’ve brought very little to the table. We are not impressed with your notions that somehow we can work together. You need us, and this is all you bring?

MATT: “I bring information–”

TALIESIN: (scoffs)

MATT: “I bring knowledge of Thordak–”

TALIESIN: Where is Assum?

MATT: “I know where Assum is–”

TALIESIN: Where is Assum?

LIAM: Let’s start with that.

TALIESIN: Let’s stop pretending you have a choice here.

MATT: “The one you call Seeker Assum is alive, in Emon, still working amongst the Clasp. The story I gave you was mostly truth, peppered with necessary deceit to place me here amongst you for the time I needed. He is there to secure survivors against Thordak. I infiltrated the ranks of the Clasp, gained his trust, which allowed me to find your whereabouts, and so I came. He sent me on a mission to notify you of his plans, which, by the way, along with Brotoras, Goldhand, and the Clasp’s cooperation, they have a plan to strike at the Cinder King.”

LIAM: Insight check. Well, hold on. No. 13. Never mind.

MATT: Slippery dragon.

(laughter)

MATT: There’s no reason for you to believe or disbelieve. It’s just words to you right now.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: What’s their plan?

MATT: “One that’ll fail, of course. You see, they put their knowledge in what a red dragon is capable of. They believe that by quelling the flames or stoking some nature of the crystal in its belly’s magic, there would be a way to stop him. And there is a path to be taken there, yes, but their knowledge is faulty. They don’t understand the nature of the enchantment, and should they attack, they will burn in the flames of their own righteousness.”

LAURA: What’s your illness?

MATT: “I wish I knew the extent of it–” And you watch as Assum’s form grows a little more green in places, the scales unfolding, and as the image, though still in the halfling form, where the scales rest you can see a series of deep, purplish-black veins that ride up the side of the throat, and across the chest and the arms, and they pulse with each heartbeat. “It withers my constitution. It makes me weary. I’ve sat with this for nearly a hundred years. My brain is not dull, but I wish not to have this brilliant intellect waste away into ash because I couldn’t find an answer.”

LAURA: So you come before us and you tell us you’re weak?

MATT: “Well, weak by my standards.”

MARISHA: You’re weak by mine, too.

LIAM: If we were to work with you, and that is a massive fucking if, if we were to work with you and Thordak were to fall– Paint us a picture, what can we look forward to after that? What happens to you, where do you go, what happens to Tal'Dorei?

MATT: “I have no interest in this mass domination. Most of these petty creatures that you call your brethren, they live amongst their cities, and that’s fine. My happiness lies in returning to my home in the Rifenmist, where I can pillage the eastern and southern coasts. Or I can ride out amongst the Viridian Ocean and steal what is necessary to survive and enjoy my network of followers and spies. Far away from where you live.”

LIAM: You might as well be feeding us nursery rhymes.

MARISHA: Sounds like a life happily ever after.

MATT: “If you’re uncomfortable with my proximity, post the fall of the king, I will happily take my presence elsewhere. Gather my people, my belongings, and find a roost, somewhere across the Ozmit perhaps.”

TALIESIN: I’m comfortable with that being a conversation that happens later.

LAURA: Well, obviously, but I don’t believe anything she says.

TRAVIS: You’re sure that Thordak has a cure for you?

MATT: “I have spent many years trying to untangle what could be the lie behind those eyes, and I am certain. There is a confidence with knowing and withholding. It is stronger than the strongest of bluffs, and I’ve seen that confidence in the Cinder King. A cruelty in that knowledge, that smugness.”

LAURA: Is he still insane?

MATT: “By most standards, has been for some time, but it continues to slip. His narcissism grows to dangerous bounds.”

TRAVIS: What about the white dragon?

TALIESIN: Before we would consider any terms, we would need the white dragon removed from the playing field.

MARISHA: Could be a good way for you to show us your loyalty, even though you have none. But know, Raishan, whatever deal we strike does not end in you leaving my sight. You’re going to die. You’re going to die, even if I have to die doing it.

MATT: “Amusing.”

TALIESIN: Really, this is a conversation about whether or not we wait to try and kill you until before or after the Cinder King. That’s fair, I think.

MATT: “You think that because you took surprise upon Umbrasyl, the brute, his inferior intellect, that you will have the opportunity to strike me down? You have no idea what I’m capable of, no matter what malady festers within me.”

TALIESIN: Oh, we know.

MATT: “This is your home, right, Percival?”

TALIESIN: It is.

MATT: “It would be a shame for it to suddenly no longer exist.”

MARISHA: Can we please just fucking kill her now?

TALIESIN: I’m not Keyleth. Your threats, they won’t bend me, because I believe you. I believe that you would rend this entire city asunder. That’s why I’m at the table. I am conscious of where we are, I’m conscious of who you are, and I’m conscious of what you need. I’m just trying to make sure that everybody’s clear that the minute that red dragon dies, all bets are off. You know it as well as I do. And you should be wary, because only one side of this table is underestimating the other.

TRAVIS: Which side is it?

TALIESIN: Thank you, Grog.

SAM: Can I do a perception check to make sure that this being is actually in the room and is not just some sort of phantom?

LAURA: We’ve seen this before.

SAM: 17. Oh wait, am I proficient? No, 19.

MATT: 19, okay. The entity you see before you does appear to be physically present, to the best of your knowledge. No one’s touched it or attempted to, but it does seem to be present with you.

TRAVIS: All right, I love a good story, so do you have a plan?

TALIESIN: One step at a time. White dragon.

MATT: “Vorugal is a beast. Simple of mind. Eager to kill, eat, sleep. That’s about the extent. As long as it’s given enough land and cattle to devour, it seems happy. It enjoys the hunt; it enjoys the challenge.”

TALIESIN: How willing do you feel to be a participant in his demise?

LIAM: A lot better if you’d be willing to shed a bit of blood.

TALIESIN: Get your hands dirty.

MARISHA: Oh, she’s already done that.

MATT: “Our agreement, should this go forward, does not end when the Cinder King dies. I demand the opportunity to converse with the spirit from the corpse. Once that’s done, then you may pull your rug out from under me, if you will. I wish you the best of luck.”

TALIESIN: Well, I assume once he’s dead, either you’ll turn on us or you’ll run away. Either way works for me.

LIAM: Yeah, we’re getting a bit ahead of ourselves. Are you going to scrap with the white dragon with us or not?

LAURA: Can you talk him into flying off, leaving everyone alone?

TALIESIN: No, I want a dead dragon.

MATT: “You see, whereas I have the aptitude to know where my alliances stand, Vorugal is, of the entire Conclave, the closest Thordak has to a lap dog.”

LAURA: So dead, then.

MATT: “Probably the best bet, yes.”

TALIESIN: Yes, Grog?

TRAVIS: I have a question. Do you want to talk to Thordak’s dead spirit, or are you after the big shiny jewel in the middle of his chest?

MATT: “I have no interest in whatever enchantment shackles him to his insanity. I merely wish to draw from him the secret I’ve been promised.”

TRAVIS: Insight check to see if he’s lying.

LAURA: Ditto!

MATT: Insight check, both of you guys, go.

LAURA: Oh, that was terrible!

TRAVIS: 18.

LAURA: Ugh, 13.

MATT: Seems to be telling the truth.

TRAVIS: Yeah, sure.

LAURA: Well, yeah, sure she does.

TRAVIS: He’s telling the truth.

LAURA: She.

TRAVIS: She’s telling the truth.

TALIESIN: Once the white dragon’s off the board, then we will hammer out whatever promises can be made, but until then, there’s just many players on the field to say one way or another.

LAURA: Have you been here as Assum this whole time? What have you been doing?

MATT: “Gathering information, like I do.”

LAURA: What do you do, sleep in his room like a halfling?

TRAVIS: Yeah, do you wear his clothes, and use his soap, and brush with his toothbrush?

MATT: “No, I moved down to the stables and found a soft bit of hay. Yes, I sleep in his bed and his clothes.”

TRAVIS: That’s a lot of attitude to what I feel is a simple question. It’s gross.

MARISHA: It’s pretty gross.

TALIESIN: It must be so humiliating for you that you need to turn to us for help. You do have my pity in that regard.

MATT: “It isn’t the most optimal circumstance, but I think we both have much to gain.”

MARISHA: Why do you think Thordak is the only one with knowledge of a cure?

MATT: “Because everywhere I’ve sought the information seems to have been destroyed by Thordak once we made the accord.”

LAURA: If you tell us what the disease is–

MARISHA: Because that puny little druid that cursed you– well, don’t forget you’re dealing with a puny little druid right here.

MATT: “You could take a look if you like, but I myself do not know its nature.”

LAURA: Have you tried Greater Restoration?

(laughter)

MARISHA: That seems to be the solution to all of our problems.

TALIESIN: It’s the chicken soup of Dungeons and Dragons.

MARISHA: Chicken soup for the DND soul.

LIAM: It’s feed a curse, starve perma-death.

TRAVIS: Please, go ahead.

MATT: “Yes, I have.”

MARISHA: What was the question?

MATT: “I’ve tried all forms of cleansing magic. I’ve bent many diviners to my aid, and all have failed! This isn’t a simple magic, this was a spirit curse, this was something far more powerful.”

TRAVIS: Sounds like a job for me. (spits) Come on.

TALIESIN: You don’t have to.

MATT: “I don’t want to.”

TRAVIS: Spit smells funny, you know.

TALIESIN: Is it two days until the white dragon?

LAURA: How long do we have?

TRAVIS: Wait, will Thordak know if we do something to Vorugal?

TALIESIN: Of course.

MATT: “It’s likely. Very quickly, yes.”

TRAVIS: Why?

MATT: “Keeps a close watch on his subjects. He’s paranoid. Requires us to continuously check in, which I have been.”

LAURA: You’ve been checking in from where? Here?

MATT: “I have my means in my room, yes.”

LAURA: Does he know where you are?

MATT: “No. As far as he knows, I’m currently somewhere on the outskirts of Westruun attempting to forge some sort of vengeance for what happened to Umbrasyl.”

TALIESIN: If he did find out he was here, it would be very easy to turn the two of them against each other.

LAURA: So when Vorugal flew over… did he not sense you?

MATT: “I’m very good at avoiding the sight of those who would seek me if I wish not to be seen.”

LAURA: Was he seeking you, or was he seeking Whitestone?

MATT: “Based on the correspondence that was put out by Thordak, he was very perturbed at the death of the black dragon that you’ve slain. As such, sent a rather large assortment of his and Vorugal’s wyvern army to sweep the entire middle eastern side of Tal'Dorei in search of you, I presume. Thankfully, your allies put up some sort of illusory barrier, which I did not disturb during that time, to whatever consolation that is to our agreement.”

TALIESIN: It is of great consolation. In fact, I would go so far as to say that I am willing to say that these talks will continue post the destruction of the white dragon, so long as these talks take place in Whitestone.

LAURA: We won’t have much time to talk after the destruction of the white dragon.

TALIESIN: We’ll have enough. And if there is no Whitestone to hold talks in, there will be no talks.

MATT: “This is true.”

SAM: One moment. Game this out for me, friends. If this is all bullshit and Thordak has sent this little lady here to trick us into traveling with her to Draconia, where Thordak is lying in wait to kill us the second we get there, well, then if we’re making a deal for this little lady to kill on our behalf, why do we need to go? Can we just stay in Whitestone and you go kill the white dragon for us? You’re powerful, aren’t you? Why do you need us?

MATT: “You see, if I were to utilize my full potential, which would be required to fell Vorugal– as idiotic as the creature is, it’s still a very dangerous and cunning foe.”

LIAM: Not for you. You’re so clever.

SAM: Yeah, you can pretend to be Vorugal’s– something, pet hamster– for a while until you kill him in his sleep.

MATT: “Maybe I overestimated your intelligence, but in doing so, would immediately paint a target on my back for Thordak. I think it’s best that I remain in his good graces, as we all flank up unexpectedly when the time is right.”

TALIESIN: He is correct.

MATT: “She!”

TALIESIN: I’m really enjoying that.

TRAVIS: I would also say that if she wanted to set a trap with three dragons on us, they would all be here right now.

TALIESIN: Also, they could’ve avoided it entirely and waited for us to go to Draconia, as opposed to having someone come by to remind us that we were going to Draconia in the first place. It seems like an awful lot of work.

MARISHA: I still don’t really know why we need her to begin with. We’re powerful enough. Why don’t we just kill her now?

TALIESIN: Honestly? Because it would damage the castle.

TRAVIS: No, don’t provoke–

SAM: What is that move? Don’t do that.

MARISHA: Are you inviting?

MATT: “I’m saying the choice is yours. Either we work together, or you all fall.”

TRAVIS: Come on. Even my simple mind sees the advantages here.

LIAM: Keyleth. All we’re debating is the order in which they die.

MARISHA: She was first on my list.

TALIESIN: I don’t recommend lists. The only reason I’m stopping you from doing this– and I swear this is the truth– is because this is my home.

MARISHA: But this could be our best chance.

TALIESIN: There would be nothing left.

MARISHA: Could be the easiest–

MATT: “Half-elf. Look at me. Your worldview is clouded by optimism that does not belong in Exandria. There is good, there is evil, but this world has been remade many times because life is destruction. You should know this as a purveyor of life in its own right. The cycle lives on. The chaos perseveres. Everything grows, eats, then dies or is eaten. You can put whatever fine dressing on it you like.”

LIAM: Yeah, shut the fuck up, sick bag.

MARISHA: She’s not making this easy to walk away, you guys!

LIAM: Percy is right. We don’t want the people of Whitestone to fall like the people of the Ashari.

LAURA: More deaths do not make it right, Keyleth.

TRAVIS: You’re going to get yours. You’re going to get it.

MATT: “Are you telling me you have not claimed a life or two in your time? Do you think your goals and your attempts to save those close to you have not been wrought with bloodshed?”

MARISHA: Oh, I know the consequences of every step of my actions. It is you, Raishan, who did not realize the biggest consequence is standing in front of you right now.

MATT: “Do you think you have not stepped on an anthill to get to your destination?”

MARISHA: I don’t give a flying shit.

MATT: “I merely stepped on an anthill to get to mine.”

LIAM: You’re just fucking winding her up, man.

MATT: “Understand, there are different levels of thought, intellect, and intent here. I come to you because we have much to gain together. Or lose everything by not listening to what I have to say.”

TALIESIN: You will join us in the fight against the white dragon.

MATT: “I will, if you promise to let Thordak’s soul be mine.”

TALIESIN: Nope, that’s not the deal.

LIAM: We’re talking about a second round of negotiations.

TALIESIN: We will consider your offer once the white dragon is dead, not a minute before.

MATT: “This isn’t a negotiation.”

TALIESIN: This is everything of a negotiation, you fool.

MATT: “What am I getting out of this?”

TALIESIN: Your life!

SAM: An opportunity to prove yourself to us.

TALIESIN: A cure to yourself.

LAURA: A chance to take down Thordak. You said yourself you can’t do it on your own.

LIAM: We haven’t danced with a dragon that now stands breathing.

TALIESIN: Your desperation is so obvious.

MARISHA: We walk away, and you die. Or we stay, (whispering) and you die.

MATT: “If I aid you with the tearing of Vorugal as a show of goodwill, in response, you keep my true nature secret between those in this room.”

TRAVIS: Oh. Yeah.

MATT: “You maintain that I have access to the length and breadth of Whitestone.”

TRAVIS: Wait a minute. Why the length and bread of Whitestone?

MATT: “Largely because I have interests in deciding my plan against Thordak. Let’s just say some of it may include a trinket or two that have come in your way on your travels.”

TRAVIS: Are you fully aware of what lies beneath Whitestone?

MATT: “I have some ideas.”

TALIESIN: Would you like to see it?

MATT: “I have seen it already.”

TALIESIN: Have you?

LAURA: You’ve been down there?

MATT: “I’ve been here for some time, my dear.”

LAURA: Then why didn’t we meet down there? Why are you so scared of it?

TRAVIS: Yeah, if you’ve seen it, tell us what it is.

MARISHA: I know. You know.

TALIESIN: Of course he–

SAM: You say it first.

MATT: “I’m not telling you anything. That was not part of the negotiation.”

TRAVIS: How big is it? If you’ve seen it.

(laughter)

SAM: Describe it.

TALIESIN: One dead white dragon and then–

MARISHA: Oh jeez, what is that?

MATT: Raishan snaps her fingers. You see a spark, and you notice a brief burst akin to a minor illusion. No sound, nothing, just the image of a tiny black orb.

TRAVIS: Shit! She’s seen it.

TALIESIN: One dead white dragon, and then the negotiations continue. We will speak to no one of what you truly are, although we may caution others that we’re looking a bit sideways at Seeker Assum.

MATT: “I would recommend none of that. Any suspicion means I’m being followed. If I’m followed and feeling threatened, the person you told may not survive. We do not want that, but I’m going to look out for myself, so anyone you tell, you’re putting in danger.”

TALIESIN: That’s also fair.

MARISHA: Anyone you touch, you’re then putting yourself in danger. If any of our friends wind up dead, we’re looking at you first.

MATT: “Fair enough.”

LAURA: Have you done anything with the rest of our friends?

MARISHA: Where’s Assum? Did we already cover that?

LAURA: Yeah, we already covered that.

MARISHA: I was very angry. I couldn’t hear a whole lot.

TALIESIN: Whitestone will not fall. If Whitestone falls, all deals are off. If Whitestone is attacked, all deals are off. You keep it off the radar.

MATT: “It’s already off the radar. I just will not touch the radar.”

TALIESIN: That’ll do.

LIAM: What is radar?

MATT: “I don’t know.”

TALIESIN: Do you never go into my room? Do you never look at what I’m working on?

SAM: What room are we in right now?

MATT: This is the old war room, which is upstairs facing the front.

LAURA: The old war room, because we moved the new one down into the ziggurat and she didn’t respect that!

MATT: Nope.

MARISHA: (whispers) Bitch.

LIAM: I said (singing) bitch.

SAM: How big is the room?

MATT: It’s about, I’d say– close to 30 feet by 60 feet.

SAM: How many entrances?

MATT: There’s two doors that enter, and then two windows that face out the front.

LAURA: Are you going to attack her all of a sudden? Are you going to attack her right now?

SAM: We should probably kill her right now.

MARISHA: I agree with that! Can I do a scan of the room, like a perception check to see if I notice magical traps or anything weird set up?

MATT: Make an investigation check.

MARISHA: Investigation?

MATT: If you’re looking for traps, it’s investigation.

MARISHA: No, is there anything off? Does it look like there’s an opening?

MATT: Make a general perception check.

TRAVIS: We can kill her whenever. Might as well use her.

MARISHA: General perception? 21.

MATT: 21? Glancing about the room, it does not appear to have anything that you notice different. It has the two banners on the side walls. It has the table in the center with some chairs scattered about and there’s the two windows opposite. One window that currently Raishan has to her back.

LIAM: I don’t think Scanlan is wrong. I think he is weak.

LAURA: Why?

SAM: It.

LIAM: However, she will try to destroy as much as possible out of spite in her death throes.

TALIESIN: Thus also exposing the city. We will be attacked. That will be the end of Whitestone.

TRAVIS: I walk up very gingerly to Keyleth, and I grab one of her antlers very gently, and I say: Look, if you want to go, we’re with you, but if you exercise a little patience, I think we’ll get more out of this, and you’ll still get yours in the end.

MARISHA: Is Grog talking to me about patience right now?

LAURA: That’s very important.

MARISHA: That’s so extreme.

TRAVIS: Don’t get me wrong, I want to crack it open right now, but we’ll get more later.

LIAM: He’s learned a lot.

MARISHA: Grog–

TALIESIN: I guarantee you, the complete lack of satisfaction that you feel when she’s finally dead will be just as potent two days from now.

MARISHA: Did Thordak tell you about the trinkets of ours that you wanted?

MATT: “Thordak has no idea what lies beneath this city. Thordak is too obsessed with himself.”

MARISHA: About what we have, I mean.

MATT: “Are you referring to your Vestiges?”

MARISHA: She knows.

MATT: “You already told me everything. You informed me of your entire journey.”

LAURA: I know, okay! Because we’re really smart and we totally–

SAM: We knew it was you all along. We want you to know what you’re up against.

LAURA: That’s right.

MATT: “Of course you did.”

LIAM: Taunting you all along.

MARISHA: We thought she was Assum. We talked, and she knows. She knows. We told her everything. What does he want?

MATT: “What does Thordak want? Thordak wants everything. Everything. Thordak is using the crystal in his belly to slowly build a volcano beneath Emon. To turn the surrounding city and the countryside into a new mountain of his visage.”

LAURA: How long until that happens?

MATT: “That’s going to be another hundred years before the entire mountain is complete, but the physicality is already adjusting. The molten rock begins to swirl and flow beneath the Cloudtop District.”

TRAVIS: Wait, you said he’s building a volcano?

MATT: “Well, the volcano is being summoned beneath him. Such is the nature of the crystal he carries. The energy he absorbed from the fire elemental plane carried over with him, and it’s still hungry. It’s why he swells; that’s why he’s in pain. But he just laughs amidst it, as it also gives him extreme power and nigh invulnerability.”

TRAVIS: And you said you knew Thordak before he was trapped in the elemental plane. Was he, in any way, on what is now known as Glintshore before the elemental plane?

MATT: “It’s possible. I have no knowledge of this Glintshore.”

LIAM: What do you know about the Briarwoods?

MATT: “I don’t think I know anything about some Briarwoods.”

LIAM: Really? What do you think about the wall surrounding that beach ball down there? It’s a little creepy down there, isn’t it?

MATT: “It’s a little off-putting, yes.”

LIAM: You expect us to believe you know nothing, as smart as you are, you know nothing of what happened there in the months past.

MATT: “I know what I’ve been told.”

LIAM: Are you sure you’re not trying to summon something awful out of that marble?

MATT: “Do you think I wish to have another creature that I pay subservience to?”

LAURA: No.

TRAVIS: Maybe if he can heal you.

LAURA: Is Melora an enemy of Vecna? Do we know that?

MATT: Essentially, Melora is the goddess of the wilderness and the sea. Very nature, life, elemental-based deity. Vecna is not a god. Vecna was very powerful, wanted to become a god and was balked and scattered, supposedly destroyed a long time ago but the cults still endure and infiltrate and wander various parts of Exandria.

LIAM: What do you want to do with that thing?

MATT: “It pertains to what I think is a sound plan to bring Thordak down to our level.”

LIAM: Well, tell me a little bit more.

MATT: “I will tell you, once we finish this next length of your journey, since you are so eager to have made the agreement.”

LAURA: Makes sense.

LIAM: I think you’re lying through your teeth. I think you want something you’re not telling us about, but I do want the white dragon dead, and we can work on it later.

SAM: Let’s all agree that this is definitely bullshit.

TALIESIN: No, I’m going to disagree. I think that everything that she said is the truth, and I think that she’s not saying an awful lot more. Deception is far less interesting if you’re not telling the truth all the time, and I think she’s telling a lot of truth, just not nearly all of it.

LIAM: Lies of omission are a tricky thing, aren’t they?

TALIESIN: They’re far more tricky than simple lies, and I think that we’ve heard an awful lot of truth.

TRAVIS: I’m confused.

TALIESIN: So yes, I’m willing to work with what we have.

MARISHA: Do you have any ideas on how to defeat Vorugal?

MATT: “Well, for one thing, I will be peripheral to the battle. I will aid you, but I cannot be seen on the battlefield, or Thordak will know immediately there has been a turn of allegiance.”

LAURA: So what good are you? What can you do?

SAM: Can you shapeshift into other beasts?

MATT: “I can change my form into a number of creatures and be of assistance in that way. I have a series of arcane talents that I can bring to the battlefield, as well.”

SAM: We needed a beast to bait Vorugal with.

LAURA: I have an idea with that.

TALIESIN: I believe we’re all on the same page.

MARISHA: What’s interesting is the way that stacks, too.

TRAVIS: Go ahead, or do you want to save it?

LAURA: If we’re in this together, can I say it in front of her?

SAM: Sure.

TRAVIS: No, don’t.

SAM: Well, she’ll need to know, at some point. Once we get there.

TRAVIS: I say we agree on principle. We agree–

TALIESIN: Yes, we agree.

TRAVIS: I agree. Hands?

SAM: What are we agreeing on?

TRAVIS: To fight with Raishan.

TALIESIN: I’m in this far.

SAM: You don’t need our votes. It’s already decided.

TRAVIS: You’re abstaining? I really wish you would vote. Your vote matters.

SAM: Is voting this time important, particularly?

LIAM: Jump on the carpet and go kill her, anyway.

SAM: But if I don’t vote, won’t someone else vote for me?

TRAVIS: No, you actually sway the vote in greater ways than you can possibly imagine. Very important.

SAM: I don’t even know how. Is it easy to find out?

TRAVIS: I’m sure the internet has all your answers.

SAM: I should go online and find out how to register to vote.

LIAM: Look, it’s never an easy choice, but you have to fall down on one side or the other, Scanlan.

LAURA: Preferably one that doesn’t rely on hate as a message.

TALIESIN: Okay, we’ve gone far enough off the track. Okay, reeling it back.

SAM: All right, let’s kill a dragon and feel that burn.

(laughter)

LIAM: Oh, Chris Hardwick as Gern, coming in for the political joke!

SAM: All right, I’m in, for now.

MATT: “All right.”

MARISHA: Keyleth holds her hand out to shake her hand.

LIAM: I am drawing a blade behind my back.

MATT: Assum walks around the table slowly, making eye contact with you, those yellow, reptilian slits for eyes. Brushes past you. “You’ve grown quite a bit in just these few moments, young Keyleth.”

MARISHA: I heat up my hands a little bit with my flame hands. Feel the burn.

SAM: The dragon dies.

(laughter)

MATT: She stands there, keeping the grip, and then releases your hand. “Very well. What’s your plan against Vorugal?”

TRAVIS: We need a moment. I feel like the emotions in here are a bit raw. Can we please?

TALIESIN: We will reconvene tomorrow for battle. Plan for travel. Tomorrow morning to arrange travel and the battle plan towards–

SAM: Shouldn’t we keep an eye on this one all night?

TALIESIN: No.

LAURA: What? We haven’t kept an eye on her the whole time.

SAM: I know, but she could be sneaking around, creeping into rooms–

TALIESIN: That she hasn’t already creeped into?

MATT: “I can guarantee you you’re not wrong, but I have been and I will, regardless of what you try.”

SAM: She could come into my room at night and do things to me that I don’t want to be done.

TRAVIS: Let’s be honest, there’s nothing–

TALIESIN: Let’s be fair.

LAURA: You’re giving her ideas right now, aren’t you?

TALIESIN: I’m not changing the status of the castle. She has the same status she had before, there’s no sense in changing them.

SAM: I’m going to have sex with every beast on every continent.

TALIESIN: Thank you, Captain Kirk.

MATT: (singing) Gotta catch 'em all.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: I’m content with this.

MATT: “Very well. I’ll go check in with the boss, if you will. Alleviate any concern on his end.”

TALIESIN: Thank you.

MATT: “We shall meet tomorrow.”

TALIESIN: See you tomorrow.

MARISHA: Can I get an insight check on that “check in with the boss?” See if she’s going to turn around and tell him everything.

LAURA: Natural 20!

MARISHA: Come on, natural 20! It wasn’t bad. It was a 15, so 26.

TRAVIS: That’s not a 20.

SAM: Whispers.

TALIESIN: While you’re whispering, Sam’s got another rap for you.

SAM: Do I?

LIAM: (rapping) Whenever I go to the Loot Crate, somebody kill me now 'cause of the embarrassment I’m experiencing, live in front of the Internet.

TALIESIN: Hey-o.

TRAVIS: Holy shit. I was alive for that. I was alive for that just now.

LIAM: I didn’t have a sideways hat. I needed a sideways hat.

TRAVIS: The glasses didn’t help, either.

LIAM: What is this? Manure Movers of America?

SAM: That’s my hat.

TALIESIN: The feather shirt really adds the whole–

(laughter)

SAM: Yeah, boi!

MATT: Raishan looks very confused.

MARISHA: All right, let’s go.

MATT: “Very well. See you tomorrow.” The image of the veins, the scales, everything, reverts back to normal. Seeker Assum nods and leaves the room.

TALIESIN: Downstairs, to the real room. To the real room, downstairs. Downstairs, to the real room.

SAM: To the real war room, magically incapable of–

LAURA: Yes.

SAM: Okay, but wait, before we go down there, two things: Keyleth, can you scry today?

MARISHA: Yes, I can.

TALIESIN: Do not!

SAM: We could check in on Vorugal. Make sure that Vorugal is actually there.

LAURA: Don’t actually look at Vorugal, look at something near Vorugal.

SAM: Just to make sure Vorugal is in town and not here. We could look into Raishan’s room right now and watch how it communicates with its boss.

TALIESIN: Absolutely do not think that’s a good idea.

LAURA: I don’t think so, either. She’ll know.

MARISHA: Yeah, let’s go down to the war room.

SAM: She’ll go ape-shit and what? So we kill her. We’re better than she is!

TALIESIN: We’re really not.

LIAM: She’s obviously hiding shit from us, and if one of us goes and pokes our nose in there, she’s going to start a draw, right there.

MARISHA: Are we in the war room? Can we go down and talk about this in the war room?

MATT: All right, so you guys make your way through Whitestone through the tunnels to the location of the ziggurat. The war room is a series of tables and chairs that have been assembled on the top of the ziggurat, near the spinning bead of death, as you call it. But yeah, it’s makeshift, it’s functional. There’s currently nobody else in here even though there are a couple of guards stationed to make sure that nobody comes in here without approval. You are currently stepping up to the top of the ziggurat, and there it rests, still spinning silently in place.

TRAVIS: Drop it on them.

LAURA: I sit on the table. What’s going on?

TRAVIS: No, tell them your plan.

MARISHA: Keyleth screams her head off for a second.

LAURA: You did well, dear.

TALIESIN: I know how hard that was. I know. And I wish I could say I did as well as you did, when it was my turn.

MARISHA: I don’t think I understood until that moment what you did.

LIAM: You’ll have your day. Absolutely.

TALIESIN: We can’t spy on her. Well, we can spy on her, but we have to be careful. We shouldn’t spy on her when she’s speaking to Thordak because Thordak might see it, which would mean that plan or no plan, everything would be ruined.

LIAM: If Thordak senses, sees, any one of us in the same place as her, he will go mad.

TALIESIN: And then if I were her, I would destroy this city and all of us as quickly as possible and run.

LAURA: I feel like she needs to talk to the spirit because she’s going to try to absorb his power or something.

MARISHA: She’s a fucking idiot. What do I know about Melora and this curse? Because there are a lot of druids who worship Melora.

MATT: Make a religion check.

MARISHA: That’s not good. I never do religion checks. Nine.

MATT: You know that Melora is worshipped by druids of nature, hunters, societies that exist in a more natural setting, as well as ship captains, oversea merchants, in hopes of getting good luck in getting across large bodies of water and weather. She is considered by some to be good, some consider her to be in a neutral space and more of like a mother nature type entity amongst the pantheon here, if there was one. And as far as curses go, you don’t have too much experience with curses outside of the minor ones that you’ve seen used or have yourself at your disposal. But even just from the few of you, Sam especially, Sam, go ahead and roll an intelligence check.

SAM: Who, me?

MATT: Yes.

SAM: I need my thing. Hold on. Intelligence? Straight intelligence?

MATT: Yes.

SAM: 16.

MATT: 16, and you get to add your plus two.

SAM: 18.

MATT: And if you wanted to, add your inspiration die.

SAM: I will inspire myself, which is d12 now, right?

MATT: Yeah, d12.

SAM: 26.

MATT: 26, okay.

SAM: Wow. That escalated fast.

MATT: That’s what you can do as a bard; it’s pretty rad. Through the two of you conversing over this, there are simple curses that can be imparted for a temporary period of time, usually as some sort of a penance to someone who slighted you. Some that are part of a corruption on the land, a blight that spreads to a life source. And there are soul curses. Usually where someone feels so wronged in their final moments that they basically burn their soul and any possibility of the afterlife purely to scourge whoever was responsible for their pain. It’s rarely ever done, because it is essentially accepting oblivion. Your existence is done. The gods don’t hold any sway over your immortal soul; there is no afterlife. However, you die knowing, for whatever that means in that brief moment, that you have scarred the individual in some degree for possibly the rest of time.

SAM: Do we know anything about how it can be reversed or undone?

MATT: No, you have no idea. You’ve heard of it in stories. And as far as you know, it was mainly a folklore element, and you’re like okay, no, I’ve kind of heard of this. So if there was anything, this might be it.

LIAM: I worry about her intentions with this thing. Help me remember. When Pike has spoken to dead things, they cannot lie.

TALIESIN: That’s true.

LIAM: So she wants to talk to Thordak’s spirit. Who presumably cannot lie, right?

TALIESIN: Yes.

LIAM: Which could mean the cure to this disease. But it could mean something to do with that thing.

TALIESIN: It could. It also, and this is a third option. (sighs) Thordak could have tasked her with bringing us to him in a way that he feels comfortable with, and only then will he cure her. I believe he holds the cure as sway.

MARISHA: This whole thing could be an entire trap.

TALIESIN: Which means that we do have an ally for defeating the white dragon.

SAM and TALIESIN: And should use it.

SAM: But then right after.

TALIESIN: Well, if the opportunity presents itself.

SAM: Or shake her.

TALIESIN: If the opportunity presents itself to kill her there, in a way that is fitting and where we have advantage, then yes.

LIAM: Away from this city.

TALIESIN: In Draconia.

LAURA: We never mentioned J'mon Sa Ord when we got back, so Assum does not know about that, or Raishan doesn’t know about that.

MARISHA: Unless she was scrying on us, which is highly possible.

TALIESIN: Which is highly possible.

LAURA: Do we have no way of having knowledge of when someone scries on us? They can do it.

TALIESIN: Sometimes we can notice, but often–

MARISHA: I would have to have a super high perception in order to maybe sense it?

MATT: If someone were to scry on you and you were to succeed on your saving throw, they would fail to scry, and you’d have some sort of inkling that something weird is going on. If you are a person who’s capable of casting the spell like you are, you would be like, “Okay, someone’s trying to peer through the veil.”

LAURA: So you would know. She would know if someone was trying to scry on us.

MATT: Unless she–

SAM and MATT: If she picked up on it.

MATT: You have no recollection of that happening.

MARISHA: Is there a way I can start looking out for that?

MATT: You can be very conscious of that possibility and keen on intercepting should anything like that occur, sure.

TALIESIN: The other thing that can happen is we can set different forms of attack when we finally go against Thordak so that we have our mode of entry and the way that we are going to be moving that attack forward and make sure we have secondary lines of attack that she will have no knowledge of, that we will keep separated from her.

SAM: Is there any way to move Whitestone, to reinforce Whitestone, to get something here to protect Whitestone?

TALIESIN: A bit. But not a lot. There’s just not enough time.

TRAVIS: How many Vestiges are left?

LIAM and LAURA: Two?

TALIESIN: That we know of.

LAURA: Speaking of Vestige, this is part of the plan. So?

MARISHA: The Spire of Conflux was born from Melora, so I’m wondering–

LAURA: (gasps) The Spire of Conflux. That’s why we’ve heard of her!

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: Shit!

MARISHA: Oh, I’ve been thinking about that staff for a while. I’m wondering if I can get to the staff quick enough, it could be the key to really defeating Raishan.

LAURA: It’s resting in the belly of a terrible beast in the Abyss, right?

MARISHA: Correct.

LAURA: So. Gate scroll.

MARISHA: And Vorugal loves something to hunt.

LAURA: What if we bring it through, let it fight Vorugal, kill Vorugal, get the staff–

MARISHA: Kill Raishan. I like this plan.

LAURA: Not like anything could go wrong with it but–

TALIESIN: It’s a good start. It’s brazen. I like it.

SAM: (sighs)

TRAVIS: Yes?

TALIESIN: There’s no easy way to do this.

SAM: We don’t know what that thing is that has– what the beast is.

MARISHA: Apparently, it’s a goristro. A goristro?

TALIESIN: Can I make a history check?

MARISHA: It’s a barista?

TALIESIN: There’s no defeating a barista.

MARISHA: And she’s really angry, because it’s fall time. Pumpkin spice lattes.

MATT: No, I’d say this would be a religion check.

TALIESIN: Not history, it’d be religion?

TRAVIS: I got this.

MARISHA: On what a goristro is?

MATT: Let me double-check just to be sure. Specifically, this is knowledge of fiends is what this is.

MARISHA: Apparently, his name was Yenk. Yank?

MATT: Yenk. Y-E-N-K.

MARISHA and LAURA: Yenk.

TRAVIS: All those yanks.

TALIESIN: One day, there will be a creature whose name we don’t make fun of.

LIAM and TALIESIN: Not this day!

MATT: And every creature you make fun of is going to hurt that much more when it kills you.

TALIESIN: We are the Peter Parker of this game. We walk around mocking things.

MATT: It’s great. It’s so wonderful.

TALIESIN: There’s like this seventh ring of hell where they’re all hanging out going, “And then they called me Purvan.”

LIAM: “It’s pronounced 'Purvin.’ That’s so much better.”

TALIESIN: “I was named after my grandfather, man.”

MATT: I’d say honestly, like I might give a religion check or a straight intelligence check. It’s going to be a hard DC for anybody that doesn’t have any specific knowledge or training in anything fiend-centric.

MARISHA: In anything fiend-centric?

MATT: A goristro is a fiend. It lives in the Abyss. Most things in the abyss are fiends.

SAM: You said religion?

MATT: I said possibly religion, if you have it trained. If you’re proficient in religion.

LAURA: Can Pike–

MATT: You can go ask her.

MARISHA: She’s here.

TALIESIN: I’ll send one of the guards to go bring her in.

MATT: You wait about an hour. Pike quickly jogs up. You hear the clanking of the armor as she ascends the steps. “Hey, guys! Hi! What do you need?”

TRAVIS: Barely heard you coming that time.

MATT: “Oh, thank you, Grog.”

LAURA: Pike, have you ever heard of a goristro named Yenk?

MATT: “No?”

LAURA: Nothing? It’s a fiend in the Abyss. Anything about a goristro?

MATT: “Fiends are bad, but I don’t know anything about a goristro.”

LAURA: At least you know how to pronounce it.

TALIESIN: Do we have a library to consult?

TRAVIS: What would be wrong with summoning it? What if it’s really bad?

TALIESIN: I think it’s a great idea. The worst thing that happens is it’s going to have to fight two dragons.

SAM: It’s a cool idea, but I don’t think we can. We need to know the beast that we are summoning.

TALIESIN: We have its name.

MARISHA: Yeah, we know what it is. Can we go to a library, find a picture?

LIAM: Maybe Allura knows.

LAURA: Where is Allura? We haven’t seen her in forever. She’s out–

SAM: She’s a dragon.

TALIESIN: They can’t all be dragons!

TRAVIS: I have something to confess. I farted.

LAURA: Just now?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Does the little black orb absorb that? And suddenly the demon-portal-hell opens. “Oh, that’s all it took!”

(laughter)

MATT: What do you guys want to do?

TALIESIN: I’m going to go research.

LAURA: Yeah, can we go in the library and look in the books there?

MATT: Sure. Okay. Who’s going to the library? Okay, those two. What’s everyone else doing?

LIAM: I need to talk to you for a minute.

MARISHA: Okay. I stare blankly into space.

MATT: Okay, roll for perception. No. Grog, Scanlan, what are you guys doing?

SAM: Nothing for us to do.

TRAVIS: What are you talking about? We’re the masterminds of this portion of the adventure.

SAM: You’re right. What do you want to do?

TRAVIS: I’ve got nothing.

LAURA: Is there somebody religious, outside of Pike, in the city? Oh yeah, ask Kash!

MATT: Kash is in Vasselheim right now.

TALIESIN: But we do have priests. We have two priests.

MATT: You have Keeper Yennen.

TRAVIS: Yeah, ask him about a giant fiend-beast. I’m sure they know all about it.

SAM: All right, Grog and I will go talk to Keeper Yennen about Yenk.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

TALIESIN: You could also always pray to the Raven Queen.

LAURA: Oh yeah, you do have a shrine, after all.

MATT: We’ll go with your guys’ conversation first. Vax and Keyleth.

LIAM: Come on, that’s a good idea. Let’s go to the temple. I’ve been thinking a lot about your longer life that you told me about. Once you’re leading your people, you’ve come into your own, yeah?

MARISHA: If I live past killing these dragons, yeah.

LIAM: A thousand years or so, yeah? Now, I’ve thought a lot about that, and I think we should make a point of seeing that it happens. Well, once you come out the other side of this. I want that for you.

MARISHA: What do you want? I have a born duty to my people that’s hard to escape.

LIAM: Well, if we’re all alive in a month, we can work that out.

MARISHA: I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.

LIAM: In the meantime, I want you to have this. And I undo my cloak and shove it into her hands.

MARISHA: (whispers) Which cloak?

LIAM: I only have one. Made from the–

MARISHA: Oh, the displacer cloak.

LIAM: I’m so used to you smashing across our enemies, shoulder-to-shoulder with Grog, I get complacent. You’re so strong. I know that. So much more powerful than I am. Lulled me into a false sense of security. But I can’t have you gone. I need you here, so anything we can do to stack the deck in your favor. When you fell yesterday, it shook me.

MARISHA: Seems to be a trend, watching all of us fall.

LIAM: Kiki, will you wear that?

MATT: You’ll have to attune to it on a short rest, but you can do that. While you guys are doing that, Percy and Vex, could you guys roll an investigation check, each of you? Percy, minus three, because you’re still suffering resurrection issues.

LAURA: Investigation? Oh! No, this has nothing to do with dragons.

SAM: It’s okay. You’re fine.

LAURA: Ten.

TALIESIN: I did.

LAURA: Did you get a 20? Does it still count as a 20?

TALIESIN: Yeah, a 20’s a 20.

MATT: It’s still minus three. What’s your total?

TALIESIN: Investigation? 21, after that minus three. But this is a natural 20.

MATT: And ten? All righty. You guys spend the better part of the next two hours or so poring through the various libraries. You know them very well. You’ve read through a lot of these growing up. There aren’t a lot of tomes or books that deal with anything terribly fiendish. You do find one that deals with tales of the Betrayer Gods. It’s more of an old history tome that deals with pre-Divergence. It deals with the Founding, which is the first era; the Age of Arcanum, which is the second era; this is all pre-Divergence. It speaks of the Betrayer Gods and many of their creations and their followers that began to lay waste to civilization and began to enslave the creators of those that remained on the side of light. You do see mention in there of various fiends and demons and princes of evil. It’s all very thick religious text, but there is one page that has artwork on it. Sketched and simple, but it shows this strange, almost long, lithe vulture-like creature, with wings and clawed hands, and a beak-like mouth, called a vrock. You see another section that has a woman, but the lower half of her body is serpentine, like a snake, and she has six arms carrying six different blades. It says “marilith.” Behind them, you see a looming creature of hulking fur and muscle with fists like battering rams, a turned up, pug-like nose with a toothy jaw, and giant horns adorned with brass rings that curve forward. Under that it says “goristro.”

LAURA: Did you find it?

TALIESIN: Well, that’s intimidating.

LAURA: That’s enormous.

TALIESIN: Yes. I think the dragon will be pleased.

LAURA: I hope the dragon kills it.

TALIESIN: I’m fine either way.

LAURA: Well, that’s helpful.

TALIESIN: It’s very helpful. Whoever survives–

LAURA: We kill them. No problem. Anyway! And I leave. We should probably show everybody what we found.

LIAM: It feels really third-grade in here, all of a sudden.

MATT: The awkward pause dissipates, and you both bumble your way out of the library to find the others.

TALIESIN: We both go out the door at the same time.

LAURA: No, you first–

TALIESIN: Please–

MATT: Grog, Scanlan, you guys make your way over to–

SAM: We are the worst people for this mission.

TRAVIS: We’ve got this on lock!

MATT: There’s Keeper Yennen there with his small temple to Erathis, I believe. There’s nobody in there, currently. It’s empty. He’s sweeping up with one of his assistants that’s helping keep the place clean.

SAM: Tally-ho, Keeper Yennen.

MATT: “It’s been some time. I’m glad to see that you’re all safe and sound.”

SAM: Yes, well. We come seeking knowledge that only you have. Maybe.

MATT: “Well, I am at your service. What can I do?”

SAM: We needed some information about something that is beyond our scope.

TRAVIS: Wait. I don’t know if he’s cool, man. Maybe you should check him.

SAM: Check him? All right. I’ll check him.

MATT: “What?”

TRAVIS: Yennen, you keep your hands where I can see them.

MATT: “This is very–”

TRAVIS: Just keep them where I can see them.

MATT: He’s got the broom in front.

SAM: I’m going to slowly touch his arms, make sure he’s real.

MATT: Your hands meet cloth and somewhat wrinkled older gentleman skin.

SAM: I’ll pat him down.

MATT: Make an investigation check.

SAM: 19.

MATT: You find a small pouch, seems to contain a few coins. A somewhat stale piece of half-eaten bread. A couple of unlit candles. That’s about it.

SAM: I sniff the bread. (sniffing) He’s clean.

TRAVIS: All right. As you were.

MATT: “Most unusual.”

TRAVIS: Don’t worry. Can’t be too careful.

SAM: There’s dragons around.

MATT: “Right, right. That’s all right.” He picks the bread up off the ground and puts it back in his pocket.

SAM: Sorry about that.

TRAVIS: We’re actually hoping you have some information on a fiendish beast named Lucas.

SAM: Nope.

TRAVIS: Named Victor.

SAM: Yenk. Yenk. And he is a– what’s the type of beast? A goristro.

MATT: “I have come across texts that speak of a goristro. I do not know of one named Yenk, specifically.”

SAM: Well, it’s very important that we know his name– or her name– accurately, because, well, for many reasons. But we need to know its true name. Is there any text you can point us to?

TRAVIS: Or tell us what you know of goristros.

MATT: “They were dangerous front-line behemoths when the fiends attacked these lands, back in the pre-Divergence era. They were 20-plus feet tall and living battering rams that tore through stone like it was paper.”

SAM: Force is their weapon, not fire or any magic?

MATT: “I don’t know the specifics, but the texts I have read speak of it being an unstoppable fist in the service of the Dark Princes.”

TRAVIS: Right, now, we are totally up to date on how to fight these things, but we are also part of a group that’s making sure you are at your best in case they come round here. If I were to ask you how to fight one of these things, what would you bring?

MATT: “Everything?”

(laughter)

TRAVIS: An interesting answer. Might you be a little less vague for my simple friend here?

SAM: Do they have any resistances? Acid, poison, fire?

MATT: “I have no idea, unfortunately. I’m not extremely well versed in fiendish things. I know a bit offhand from my teachings, but it’s a very specific–”

TRAVIS: I expected more, really. I did.

SAM: Are we going to play bad Grog, good gnome?

TRAVIS: I don’t even know if it’s worth it, at this point. I expected more.

SAM: Oh, you’re going to guilt it out of him.

MATT: “I’m not withholding any information. I genuinely–”

TRAVIS: You want to protect Whitestone, right? See its people to prosperity?

MATT: “That’s what I’m doing.”

TRAVIS: All right, then, maybe you should learn more about hellish fiends!

MATT: “We’ve rebuilt half the city–”

SAM: (voice breaking) Grog, I don’t think I can– I’m emotional thinking of all the people in Whitestone who are going to die.

TRAVIS: Look what you’ve done.

SAM: I can’t keep it together. Is there any information you might know that can save your people?

MATT: (strained) “I don’t know!” And he rushes off toward his room. You start hearing him turning over blankets, things tumbling onto the ground. He’s tearing through his room in the back of the temple.

TRAVIS: Well done. You’ve got to lick your fingers and then wet–

SAM: Oh, good, yeah. Ooh.

MATT: About ten minutes go by before he comes out, sweat pouring down his face. He’s like, (panting) “I have nothing. I’m sorry.”

TRAVIS: It’s all right. We all have room to improve. I suppose we know now where yours lies. You have your orders. Don’t make me tell Percy about this.

MATT: Make an intimidation check.

LIAM: That guy’s going to go back to his room and flagellate himself.

SAM: We’re shaking down our friend.

TRAVIS: 24.

MATT: He goes, “Yes, right, of course. I will further my research, and perhaps I could send someone to scour the rubble of the Cobalt Reserve. It may take a couple weeks. I’m so sorry.”

TRAVIS: Not a bad idea. You’ve done lovely work in here, by the way. The rebuilding effort looks great.

MATT: “Thank you.”

TRAVIS: I’d like to see that passion in the rest of your projects, that’s all.

SAM: Is there anyone else who has knowledge that you can think of that we should speak to?

MATT: “Not that still lives in the city, unfortunately. You’re in the service of the greatest minds of our city now, up in the castle. We’re trying to put homes up for those who need them.”

TRAVIS: Shit.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: Thank you for your service to Whitestone.

MATT: “Also, thank you for yours.”

SAM: We’ve had a weird, rough week, so sorry if we–

MATT: “Apparently, now so have I.”

TRAVIS: Just curious, do you need any money for these homes? Or anything?

MATT: “Cassandra’s taking care of the costs.”

TRAVIS: Right. Shit.

MATT: “She’s sending up materials from the Turst Fields.”

TRAVIS: You should know, we’ve been taking surveys around the town, like, “A, B, C, people most important in the rebuilding of Whitestone,” and role models, and you’re always the first name. Isn’t that right, Scanlan?

SAM: I don’t think we can talk our way out of this one.

TRAVIS: I’m just trying to make him feel better. It’s you.

SAM: You’re top five in Whitestone, for sure.

MATT: “I appreciate– It’s very kind.”

TRAVIS: You’re doing good work. (strained) All right.

MATT: “I have a lot of sweeping to do, if you don’t mind.”

SAM: We did a good thing in there, Grog.

MATT: The assistant is over there wide-eyed, watching this whole circumstance. He’s a young, maybe 17-year-old boy in a similar robe. “Sebastian, stop staring and help me clean!” “Yes, sir!” They both start sweeping the rest of the temple as you guys walk out.

SAM: He’s going to kill you someday.

TRAVIS: We clearly got the most info out of anybody.

SAM: I think we got all there was. High-five.

MATT: All right. The two of you finally make your way to the recently constructed temple of the Raven Queen that Percy had built. What would you like to do?

LIAM: I want to go in and have a moment. Pray.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: So I will go in and kneel down where Percival showed me and stay quiet for a few minutes, then ask a couple of questions. I haven’t spoken in a while. I’m trying to grow stronger. Whatever it is you need. Maybe it is selfish, but I seek vengeance against my mother’s killer. Once I have it, I will go to the ends of this world for you. To help me go stronger, is there anything you can tell me about the fiend named Yenk? We need to use it.

MATT: Roll a religion check.

LAURA: You can do it!

LIAM: I will stick with that. No, I’ll stick with that. 21.

MATT: 21. The door still left ajar to the temple as Keyleth walked in earlier, a bit of a breeze swirls in for a second, carrying a few leaves. They scatter around, come to rest. The candles flicker for a moment and the light dims ever so slightly. Nothing beyond that from your perspective, Keyleth. You, Vax, feel a familiar cold embrace. It’s interesting. It’s chilling and causes your skin to goosebump, but it’s still comforting. While you see nothing within your closed eyes, you can sense a pair of cold lips to your left ear that whispers toward you, “Knowledge of this is earned. You seek this with your allies. Some have already found secrets. I can only say that the path you walked to the sphinx gave you what you need. Stay alive.” You feel the lips fade from your ear. Warmth comes back to your sides, and your eyes flicker open, knowing that her presence is no longer there.

MARISHA: Any luck?

LIAM: Sort of. She told me something, but I’m too stupid to understand.

MARISHA: I don’t think that’s true. Gods really enjoy being vague. What’d she say?

LIAM: She said that the path to the sphinx told us everything we want to know.

MARISHA: Which sphinx? We’ve seen two now.

LIAM: She didn’t say.

MARISHA: Damn it. Why do they have to be so cryptic?

LIAM: Because they can.

MARISHA: Ugh.

LIAM: Come here. That’s on crooked.

MARISHA: I don’t think I wear it as well as you. It’s a little baggy.

LIAM: Here’s to a thousand years of you.

MARISHA: That made me a little nauseous. Let’s go.

MATT: As you guys all go to convene in Castle Whitestone to discuss the next length of your plan, we’re going to take a restroom break. See you guys back here in a few minutes. Thank you once again, Loot Crate, for being awesome, our sponsor. Thank you guys for sticking around. See you guys in a minute.

LAURA: “Is it Thursday yet?” Did you almost say “Is it Thursday yet?”

Break
[break]

Part II
MATT: Welcome back everybody from the break. Before we get started, I wanted to bring this up in case you guys were not aware. I was made aware of it at the end of last week, but they announced Twitch Prime. What that allows is for anybody out there that has an Amazon Prime account you get automatically one free subscription to a Twitch channel of your choice, so if you are not a subscriber to Geek and Sundry’s Twitch, to help support the show, and you have an Amazon Prime account, you can do that now, free of charge.

TRAVIS: You’ll be in the chat room; you’ll get all the goodies.

MATT: All the goodies, you’ll have access to the VODs immediately. You won’t have to wait until Monday for the YouTube videos to come out for the episodes, and it is of no additional cost to you as long as you have a Prime membership. I wanted to make sure you guys were aware of that, because I was recently made aware of that. All righty. Picking up where we left off, the rest of you guys have done some research, gathered some information that may or may not be helpful. What do you want to do for the rest of your preparation for whatever you wish to do going forward?

LIAM: This is before beddy-bye time?

MATT: Yeah, you guys are still–

TALIESIN: I’ve a few things I think we should do.

LAURA: Okay?

MARISHA: I think there’s a lot we need to do.

TALIESIN: First, I think we should brew some tea and not drink it.

LAURA: Oh. It only lasts for how long?

TRAVIS: What?

LAURA: The venomous tea.

MATT: It’ll probably last for the day.

LAURA: All right, yeah. It’ll last for 24 hours.

SAM: So wait, you want to make poison and not do anything with it?

LAURA: We’ll keep it.

MARISHA: Just in case.

SAM: In case someone comes over for tea?

MARISHA: Emergency poison.

TRAVIS: Why wouldn’t you make it in front of her, and then it’s way less conspicuous.

LAURA: (gasps) That’s true! Let’s make some and put it a flask, and then we’ll do it later.

LIAM: Are you talking about for Raishan?

TALIESIN: No, just to have some poison.

LIAM: She’s a poisonous dragon.

LAURA: Just to have some poison in general. Not necessarily for Raishan.

TALIESIN: Maybe we’ll make it in the morning.

LIAM: Maybe an enemy will come over. You’re right.

MARISHA: Maybe an enemy will come over.

MATT: As a specific master of dragon and dragon knowledge, so you’re aware, green dragons are–

LAURA: Poison.

MATT: Poison by nature.

LAURA: I don’t think this is for Raishan!

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: I was actually thinking if we had a bit of poison and if we could get it into the system of one of the larger creatures at some point. A big pot of poison, maybe.

LAURA: I knew you didn’t think it was for Raishan.

TALIESIN: Raishan’s not going to drink tea and die.

MARISHA: Right, internet? We knew it wasn’t for Raishan.

MATT: (laughs) All right.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I want to go downstairs, and I want to see if Grog will give me all of the guns to go upstairs and look at our giant cache of guns that we suddenly have.

MARISHA and TALIESIN: All the guns.

SAM: That reminds me. On the walk home with Grog, I turn to him and say: Oi, Grog, got any of those guns?

TRAVIS: I do!

SAM: How many?

TRAVIS: Two pistols, two rifles, really long skinny guy. And I’ve got a greatsword.

SAM: Why should Percy have all the fun? What say you and me take a pistol each, just as a backup plan? An insurance policy.

TRAVIS: I don’t want a pistol. How about you take one?

SAM: You don’t want a pistol?

TRAVIS: No!

SAM: You’d look so cool!

TRAVIS: It’s not as intimate as what I do.

SAM: You are about the personal touch.

TRAVIS: I need the connection.

TALIESIN: What are the actual chances that he will even know how to operate it? I’m not talking to either of you. I’m talking to the powers that be.

TRAVIS: It’d be like a little GI Joe handgun. Do you want a pistol?

SAM: Do you have any ammo?

TRAVIS: I do. I have 185 rounds.

SAM: Holy shit!

TRAVIS: So I take out one of the two pistols. Do they look the same?

MATT: They look comparable, yes.

TRAVIS: Which one?

SAM: Is there any blood on either of them?

TRAVIS: Are there?

MATT: A little smattering on each of them, yeah.

TRAVIS: I’ll give you the super bloody one.

SAM: I want the bloody one.

TRAVIS: Yeah! I toss it to him, and I give him–

LAURA: Six ammo. (laughs)

TRAVIS: (laughs) 15 rounds of ammo.

SAM: Thank you, Grog. Thank you very much. I don’t know what to do with this, so I’ll pocket it.

TRAVIS: I’m pretty sure if you look into it–

LAURA: Don’t even encourage that–

SAM: I’ve seen Percy do that a lot. Stares right down the barrel and make sure it’s working.

TRAVIS: Yeah, that’s where the expression comes from: “right down the barrel.”

TALIESIN: Don’t do that at home, kids. Just don’t do that.

LAURA: Just don’t.

MATT: All right, so you go looking for Grog who is not around the castle, and eventually, as you step out, you notice Scanlan and Grog both walking up the pathway to the front of Whitestone Castle.

TALIESIN: Oh good! We need to go through the guns, we need to see what we have, we need to clean them up. I’ve got a plan.

TRAVIS: Yeah, right, yeah. We need to– (sniffs) you need to clean up the guns.

TALIESIN: I do. I need to clean up the guns.

TRAVIS: Who has those guns? I have the guns.

TALIESIN: You do. That’s right; you were very clever.

TRAVIS: What you have?

TALIESIN: I have a book. It’s a very nice book.

TRAVIS: Are you joking?

TALIESIN: No! No, I have a cloak. Would you like a cloak?

TRAVIS: For what?

TALIESIN: The guns. I thought we were making a trade here.

TRAVIS: Yeah, no, we are.

TALIESIN: All right, do you want a cloak, then?

LIAM: A Vestige?

TALIESIN: No, I’ve just got a cloak.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: What does it do?

TALIESIN: It looks smashing, and it’s quite warm.

TRAVIS: It’s a cloak of smashing?

TALIESIN: Yes, it is a cloak of smashing.

TRAVIS: Deal. All right. I will trade you that for the long barrel thing.

TALIESIN: I’ll need them all.

TRAVIS: In a minute.

TALIESIN: No, I need them all. I really don’t have anything else.

SAM: You don’t have any guns? What happened to your guns?

TALIESIN: Well, no. I need to clean–

TRAVIS: What about your glasses?

TALIESIN: (chuckles) I sort of need those glasses–

TRAVIS: Do you?

TALIESIN: Yes.

TRAVIS: Give me your glasses. Just let me hold them. Show us some faith.

SAM: We’re friends here, right, Grog?

TALIESIN: Is everybody here? Is everybody watching us?

MATT: Just the three of you guys and three guards back by the front of the castle.

SAM: I don’t know what he’s doing. I would not trust him. But then again, you don’t have a choice.

TALIESIN: I don’t trust him, either. I did have siblings; I’m aware of how this happens.

TRAVIS: How many fingers am I holding up?

TALIESIN: Four.

TRAVIS: Was he right?

SAM: He was right!

TRAVIS: I don’t know why you need the glasses.

TALIESIN: I need the glasses because I can’t see things that are up close. I can see things that are far away perfectly fine.

TRAVIS: How many fingers am I holding up?

TALIESIN: I don’t know.

TRAVIS: Is he right?

SAM: He doesn’t know.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Very well. You passed. Glasses. And I give him the two rifles.

TALIESIN: He also has Ripley’s gun?

MATT: Yes.

TALIESIN: Why don’t we come inside so I can explain to you my plan so that you can feel good–

TRAVIS: No, this is very important for me out here. I have a position of power, and I’m not about to give it up. What else have you got?

TALIESIN: I have a title. I can title you.

SAM: Oh, yes! Title him!

TALIESIN: Would you like a title?

TRAVIS: Take note, Scanlan: this is how you get shit done. I’m listening.

TALIESIN: All right, I will title you if you give me everything that I need. I need all the ammunition, all the guns, especially the complicated guns. I’m going to need everything.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I have one other pistol, I have 170 rounds for the little bitty guy, and I’ve got 26 rounds for the (belches) rifles.

TALIESIN: All right.

TRAVIS: Do you want the full plate armor and the greatsword, too?

TALIESIN: No, plate armor and greatsword are completely up to you.

TRAVIS: (belches) Okay. I give it all over. What’s my title?

TALIESIN: Grand Poobah de Doink of All of This and That.

SAM: Grand Poobah de Doink of All of This and That.

TALIESIN: Of All of This and That. It comes with no money and no land, but it is a title.

SAM: I’m unfamiliar with protocol. A Grand Poobah, how do you address them? Is it a “your Majesty,” a “your Highness,” “your Grace?”

TALIESIN: No it’s “Hey you, over there.” “Hey, you guy.”

SAM: Hey, you guy.

TRAVIS: Yes, my humble servants.

TALIESIN: “Sweet chestnut.”

TRAVIS: Are those all official names?

TALIESIN: Oh, yes. They’re used in very different ways.

TRAVIS: Well look, let’s keep it on the low-low, right, I don’t want too many people getting jealous, so like only in private quarters will you address me by my official title.

TALIESIN: Okay, or the shortened versions thereof.

TRAVIS: Yeah, which I look forward to learning.

TALIESIN: You will enjoy them. I’m sure we will all enjoy them.

SAM: This is a great day, Grog.

TRAVIS: It is, right? Man, I just keep coming up in the world. Coming up, against all the odds. I feel like an Eminem song in the background right now. Eight Mile, bitches. Let’s go inside.

TALIESIN: Didn’t even bother to insight check, did you? That’s great. That makes me so happy.

SAM: Percy, don’t forget, you promised me one of those guns.

TALIESIN: I’d actually have to teach you how to use it, you are aware of that?

SAM: Maybe you can teach me first, and when I’ve learned, you can give me one.

TALIESIN: Maybe we’ll have that conversation. I’m going to take a look at their various levels of repair. I want to take a look at how they look, how many of them need work, how many of them are at least functional.

MATT: Most of them need work. A number of them backfired during the actual battle, and the other ones were not taken very good care of, so you’re probably going to need to run a few repair checks on that. You have the materials at your disposal, you have your workshop.

TALIESIN: I’m going to do this not in private, but I’m going to be, then I want to look at Ripley’s gun.

MATT: Okay. You take a good solid look at Animus, get a feel for it.

TRAVIS: I’ve got it!

MATT: Thank you, Travis.

SAM: (belches)

LAURA: Wow.

TALIESIN: Oh my god, really?

LIAM: That was Laura Bailey-esque.

TRAVIS: Can I find Vax while he’s looking for the gun?

MATT: Yep.

LAURA: Yeah, I want to go find Vax and Keyleth, as well.

TRAVIS: I’m sorry, I meant Vex.

LAURA: Oh, me?

TRAVIS: Yeah, you.

LAURA: You want to find me? Hi, what’s up?

TRAVIS: Hey, so remember when you showed me your boobies during the fight with Kern?

LAURA: Oh, you saw them?

TRAVIS: Only out of the peripheral.

LAURA: Okay, yes?

TRAVIS: I wanted to say thank you on a very delayed timeline by giving you this potion of superior healing.

(laughter)

LAURA: Thank you so much, Grog.

TRAVIS: Yeah, so if they ever get jacked up again, heal them, because I fight better with boobies around.

LAURA: I’ll remember that.

TRAVIS: Okay, cool.

LAURA: All right.

TRAVIS: Deal.

LAURA: Thank you so much.

TALIESIN: This is mean.

LIAM: That was spectacular.

TALIESIN: I missed everything. I’ll watch it on the preview because this is a–

MARISHA: Isn’t it breast cancer awareness month? It is, right?

TALIESIN: Now I’m aware.

MARISHA: Check your boobs, ladies.

LAURA: It’s important.

LIAM: Don’t let them get jacked up.

TALIESIN: Okay, I’m going to do my best to clean and work on these guns tonight, and at some point, I’m going to send a guard to find Vax.

MATT: Vex, you’ve gone and looked for Vax and Keyleth. After you guys had your conversation about everything, eventually you catch up to– are you guys still together? Yeah, so you find the two of them.

LAURA: Hey, did you find anything?

LIAM: Sort of. I wanted to talk to you and probably Percival, as well.

LAURA: Yes?

LIAM: Well, I communed with my deity–

LAURA and MARISHA: The Raven Queen.

LIAM: That’s the one! And she said something that I don’t know what she meant.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: I asked about this Yenk, and she said everything we needed to know we saw on the way to the sphinx.

LAURA: Which one?

MARISHA: That’s what I said!

LIAM: She didn’t say.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: I’m drawing a blank, I don’t know.

LAURA: Everything we need, we saw on the way to the sphinx.

LIAM: So I remember the more recent trip better. What happened the first time?

LAURA: Well, it’s here–

LIAM: It was under the Slayer’s Take.

LAURA: No.

LIAM: Yes, under the Slayer’s Take.

LAURA: But there was a ziggurat, as well.

LIAM: Yes. Then the second time–

LAURA: We went down a cavern, and there was a name.

MARISHA: Right. Had to do the whole name trial.

LIAM: Grog almost drowned.

MARISHA: So the first one was near where the Cindergrove is.

LAURA: Right, and she worshipped the goddess of knowledge.

MARISHA: Osysa was her name.

LIAM: We just spoke to her.

MATT: Osysa was the gynosphinx who works at the Slayer’s Take. The goddess she worships is Ioun.

LAURA and MARISHA: Ioun!

LAURA: So maybe we need to talk to Ioun, no? Maybe we just talk to a god. That’s impossible unless you’re–

LIAM: I just did it, yeah, but I didn’t understand what she told me, so six of one, half a dozen of the other.

LAURA: Worthless, really. Yeah. That’s a nice cloak you have there, Keyleth.

MARISHA: It’s a little baggy, but thank you.

LIAM: I gave you a cloak once, and you stopped using it.

LAURA: This is true. It looks lovely, though, stacked next to the rest of my clothing. Do you want it back?

LIAM: No, I do not want it back.

LAURA: He only gives cloaks to those he really cares about, Keyleth. Really cares about.

LIAM: This is really awkward, and I’m going to walk the fuck out of here. Good night, ladies.

MARISHA: I got a wink from Vex!

LIAM: I go off looking for Percy.

TALIESIN: Good man.

MATT: While they share their awkward smile, you find Percival down in his workshop, currently repairing weaponry with Ripley’s gun placed down out on its own in the middle of the table.

LIAM: Hello?

TALIESIN: Oh, good. It’s you.

LIAM: Do you mind?

TALIESIN: Not at all. I was actually hoping you would stop in.

LIAM: Gods! What does all this shit do?

TALIESIN: Mostly break, quite successfully.

LIAM: Just like us. I just broke in the temple that you–

TALIESIN: I assume it was vague and unhelpful?

LIAM: It was.

TALIESIN: Excellent!

LIAM: First, I don’t think I ever officially thanked you for it.

TALIESIN: You’re welcome.

LIAM: Thank you. How are you feeling, buddy?

TALIESIN: (sighs) I’m terrified, but other than that, I think I’m good.

LIAM: I came here for a reason, you’re the brain, you’re the one that hangs brain. I don’t know what to make of my conversation with the higher power. I asked about Yenk. I asked what we should do, and she talked about the sphinxes. She said that everything that we needed to know we learned on the way to the sphinx. I don’t know which one? I don’t know if it was the gynosphinx or the not-gynosphinx?

TALIESIN: I would assume it was the sphinx that was guarding her treasure. Oh! You should take a look at this. And I point at the open book with the picture. Look what we have. That is our friend.

MARISHA: Oh, is that Yenk?

LAURA: Well, it’s one of Yenk’s brethren.

LIAM: Did you follow me down here? I said I didn’t fucking want to–

LAURA: Well, obviously Keyleth’s there, so I figured I was, too!

MARISHA: I thought you were working in the middle of–

TALIESIN: My door’s open. I’m in my thing, but it’s open, and I’ve already sent people to send for–

MARISHA: I said “Hi, Percy.” It’s not my fault no one notices I’m around. It’s not my fault I’m a fucking wallflower.

LIAM: You scared the shit out of me. This is some nasty business. This is what we’re dealing with?

TALIESIN: Yes, and if all goes well, which it never does, that will be fighting the white dragon, and possibly the green dragon. And one of the two of them will kill the other, and then we swoop in and clean up what’s left.

LIAM: I don’t know if it’s smart, but I’m really curious.

TALIESIN: I know. I understand; I feel the same way. It’s probably not going to work. It’s probably going to go terribly.

LIAM: I think it might.

TALIESIN: I think it might work. I’m feeling good about that.

LAURA: Do we even know how to use the Gate scroll exactly? Scanlan has to use it, right?

LIAM: Yeah, the little guy can pull it off.

MARISHA: It’s going to have to be either Scanlan or me but–

SAM: Hey, guys!

MARISHA: Scanlan! Hey!

SAM: Door was open, thought I’d come in. Grog’s right outside in the hall.

MARISHA: Hey, Grog! Come on in.

LIAM: Have you ever been here? Look at all this fucking esoteric bullshit!

TRAVIS: Wow.

SAM: It’s crazy! Is that a brain in a jar?

TALIESIN: No– yes, that is something in a jar. It’s not a brain, though.

TRAVIS: What’s that a picture of?

LAURA: Oh, that’s the goristro.

TRAVIS: Oh. What are the other ones?

LAURA: Well, one is called a snake lady. A marilith.

TRAVIS: Are they all together, or is it the one guy?

LAURA: I think it’s just the one guy. Hopefully, other things can’t come through. Can they? Read that scroll again, Scanlan.

SAM: What, my Gate scroll? Yeah, well, I left that at home today, but I think it calls the thing that you call for. You give it a name, it goes, it grabs it, it brings it in.

LAURA: It doesn’t bring other things through? Doesn’t leave the gate open?

SAM: The gate does stay open for as long as your conjuration, which is about a minute.

LAURA: So other things could come through.

SAM: Yes, that is true–

MARISHA: But you could close the gate once it passes through.

SAM: I could drop it, yes. However, this is a tricky spell for me because I am not– as much as it pains me to say this, I am not good enough to cast this spell.

LIAM: You’re selling yourself short.

SAM: I’m really good, but I’m not quite that good, so I can cast it, but it carries a risk. If luck is not on my side, it will not work.

TRAVIS: Like, it burns when you pee risk, or it’s going to fall off in three months risk?

SAM: Like it won’t work forever. I get one shot. If I don’t do it right, it’s gone forever.

TRAVIS: Are we talking about your penis, still?

SAM: Yes. My penis will fall off.

TRAVIS: That is terrible.

LAURA: We will have Raishan with us.

SAM: I’m not giving this thing to Raishan. But do we know anyone who is at a slightly higher skill level than me?

LIAM: Allura or Gilmore.

MARISHA: Also, Kima wanted to come with us to fight the white dragon, remember?

SAM: Is she an arcane caster?

MARISHA: She’s not, but if Kima is going, then maybe Allura will.

TRAVIS: We can’t bring them. We’d have to tell them that Raishan’s with us.

LAURA: No, we wouldn’t. Raishan will be in disguise.

LIAM: Raishan has had everyone fooled for a long time.

SAM: Do we know where Kima and Allura are?

MATT: You haven’t checked in to see if they’re here or not.

LAURA: Oh, they could be at the castle?

MATT: They wouldn’t be at the castle. They stay at one of the houses at the northern end of the city.

TRAVIS: Should I call for a guard?

TALIESIN: Call for a guard.

TRAVIS: (loudly) Guard!

TALIESIN: There’s one literally down the hall.

TRAVIS: Oh. (stage whisper) Guard!

MATT: Who has now arrived and steps up. “You called, Grog?”

TRAVIS: Yeah, no, please don’t use my official title. If you would, could you go see if Lady Kima and Lady Allura are around?

MATT: “Do you wish for me to fetch them?”

TRAVIS: Yes. Go forth, quickly, with haste.

MATT: He rushes off. You hear the armor and chainmail clinking in the distance.

LAURA: What time is it?

MATT: It’s mid-afternoon. You guys have spent the day doing research and checking things out. You woke up in the morning and you had your conversation with Raishan, so it’s two, three in the afternoon.

MARISHA: I have another question. How far are we, timeline in the year? How close are we getting to Winter’s Crest?

MATT: You are close to three months past it, so you have a ways to go before it’s Winter’s Crest again.

MARISHA: When’s the next solstice?

MATT: The celestial solstice? You’re not sure, actually. Make a nature check.

MARISHA: There’s not a summer solstice and winter solstice?

MATT: There are solstices, yes.

MARISHA: 24.

MATT: 24. The next solstice is going to be in about a month. Roughly 28 days.

LAURA: Whatever relevance that has.

TRAVIS: So none at all.

TALIESIN: No, I see what you’re getting at.

MARISHA: Thordak was busted out on the winter’s solstice, right? Also, the Briarwoods were rushing to try and get the ziggurat up and running in time for the solstice.

LAURA: Right. Important day, is that?

MARISHA: Very important day, where nature and stars tend to align and planes can blur a little bit.

TRAVIS: Can I ask a quick question? I really like this plan to use the gate thing and go attack Vorugal. I don’t even feel like we need Raishan for it. Shouldn’t we lure her away to somewhere and then fucking kill her?

TALIESIN: This is luring her away somewhere.

MARISHA: The sooner she dies, the happier I’ll be.

LAURA: We get her over there, and then we kill her afterward.

TRAVIS: But we’ll be weak and she’s on the fringe, because remember, she’s barely helping out?

SAM: What is she going to be doing to help us, anyway?

TRAVIS: We haven’t decided.

LAURA: She was going to be another magic user, dressed as a human, or something.

TRAVIS: I like tricks, but Ripley got us pretty good, and I don’t feel like walking right into another trap one week before another fight.

LIAM: I think better to get Raishan away from here, and in that fray, she might not be touched, but she might be whittled down a little bit. That’s better than nothing.

TALIESIN: She’ll spend some power.

LIAM: We have to get her away from Whitestone. We have to.

TRAVIS: I guess we couldn’t get her anywhere with a low ceiling, where her dragon form doesn’t have such an advantage?

TALIESIN: I think the ceiling would give.

TRAVIS: No, I mean a cave or something.

SAM: We could do that.

TALIESIN: How?

MARISHA: Vorugal lived in a cave.

LAURA: Yeah, but a little cave. A cave that Assum would fit in.

MATT: That wasn’t a cave, it was inside a chasm. A giant ravine.

TALIESIN: I think far away on another continent is a great idea.

TRAVIS: What about the little cave in Glintshore?

TALIESIN: I’m happy just to take her. She’s going to follow us already.

MARISHA: Well, here’s my question. I’m sure she’s anticipating us turning on her. What would you do if you were a green dragon anticipating people turning on you?

TALIESIN: It depends. If I needed them, I would put myself in a position of safety, make myself useful, and then make sure I was back somewhere where they would not attack me as quickly as possible. If I didn’t need them, I would turn on them immediately after the fight.

LIAM: She’s going to put out the barest amount of effort to help us from behind.

TALIESIN: If we die, her plan foils. If we do not feel she put in enough effort, her plan also foils.

TRAVIS: I picture Thordak going, “Raishan, use your treachery and intellect and go kill Vox Machina.”

TALIESIN: My feeling is use your treachery– Where are we? We’re in my shop right now? Okay.

MARISHA: Keep that in mind. We could be getting spied on. Are we being watched?

MATT: You have no sense of being watched by any exterior force.

LIAM: Also, we know we’re walking into this shit. That’s no surprise.

SAM: And our plan doesn’t necessarily have to be kill Vorugal, turn and kill Raishan right there. We can keep playing with her for a little while longer.

LAURA: She can sense lies.

TRAVIS: All right, so we buck up. We go through with it.

TALIESIN: We go through with it. We made an agreement. I say we honor it until such point as it is deeply inconvenient.

TRAVIS: I’m down.

LAURA: Can I go find Zahra?

MATT: You can, yes.

TALIESIN: Vax, your boy.

LIAM: Arguably so, yeah.

TALIESIN: Your boy. I’m thinking of creating a company of shot for the castle with these guns. Do you think that would be a position that would suit him? Guards that would be forbidden from carrying these weapons outside the walls of the castle itself, and would arm the parapets if there was an attack from a dragon.

LIAM: I do. I don’t know how good a judge of character I am, though.

TALIESIN: Hopefully, a better judge than I am.

LIAM: You know, I have face-planted more than any of you, maybe. I have with that boy. I can see it in his eyes. We’re up to our elbows in blood. There has to be room for a little bit of redemption in this world.

TALIESIN: I’m a big believer in second chances. At least, I am now.

LIAM: It’s a good idea.

TALIESIN: I wanted to check with you. I thought this was something that I assumed you would have some insight into.

LIAM: Do we have time to teach them how these things work?

TALIESIN: He may already know a bit. He spent some time around them, which is also why I thought it might be helpful.

LIAM: Do you want to talk to him?

TALIESIN: Well, I figured we would talk to him. I’m still not 100%. We are going to be fighting these dragons, and I am not at my best.

LIAM: Well, you probably need to get to bed, but why don’t we go find him before it grows too late?

TALIESIN: I’ll continue to work on these. Bring him down when you find him.

LIAM: I will. Thank you. I head out.

MATT: Okay. Percy, can you make three tinkering checks for me?

TALIESIN: Tinkering check?

MATT: Yes.

SAM: Three.

TALIESIN: Stop that. Where did all my dice go? Okay, apparently I have three. Dex, proficiency, if I recall? Okay. That’s a 29, a 27, and a 13.

MATT: Okay. Rudimentary in their design, but functional. You manage to clean them all and repair the ones that were heavily damaged earlier and make them functional again without an issue. During that time, Keyleth, you were going to mention something, you said?

TRAVIS: And Zahra.

MARISHA: What did you say about Ioun, and why is Ioun important right now?

MATT: Ioun is the god of knowledge and spreading of knowledge and was what the temple that Osysa watches beneath the Slayers’ Take is based around. It’s also what the ziggurat beneath the city used to be: a temple to Ioun, before it was corrupted by the Briarwoods.

MARISHA: Scanlan, do you still have those Ioun stones?

SAM: I have an Ioun stone.

MARISHA: Okay. Was Raven’s Slumber the name of the temple?

LAURA: That’s my necklace.

MARISHA: That’s your necklace that’s got Trinket in it.

LAURA: When we’re not in the city. He’s out of the necklace. Yes, he’s always around.

MARISHA: What if we go back to that temple?

SAM: And do what?

MATT: Vax is gone right now.

LAURA: I’m also gone.

TALIESIN: She’s been helping me clean.

MARISHA: Never mind, keep going. I’m just trying to figure this out.

MATT: All right. Vex, you go ahead and find Zahra, who’s in the process of still researching in her room, her and Allura, while she was focusing on the ziggurat and the essence of it. So you find her and her tomes are spread out, and she’s actually fallen asleep on her desk in her room.

LAURA: Knock-knock? Zahra?

MATT: Puts her wand out in your direction. “Darling, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean that.”

LAURA: How are you? How are things?

MATT: “Tiring, if anything.” She wipes this bit of drool from the side of her chin. Immediately sits upright in her chair.

LAURA: I never noticed the drool, don’t worry.

MATT: (chuckles) “Good, just trying to figure out what we can from these siphons.”

LAURA: Anything interesting?

MATT: “Not yet, though it’s been a lot of fun throwing things into them and watching them go away.”

LAURA: Speaking of, you’ve been very busy, I know, with all of your research, but do you remember what we spoke of before we left?

MATT: “Remind me.”

LAURA: Arrows of dragon-slaying?

MATT: “Oh, yes! I was able to muster one.”

LAURA: Okay, that’s wonderful! One is better than none.

MATT: “That is all I’ve been able to get done in time.” She pulls out a small case and opens it. It looks a little roughshod, not quite as perfect, but she says, “The enchantment took.”

LAURA: Wonderful! This is costly, what do I owe you?

MATT: “Oh, for this?” Let’s find out.

LAURA: I hope this isn’t a lot.

TRAVIS: 5,000 gold.

MATT: “That would come to roughly– on the market, about 30,000 gold pieces.”

LAURA: But she made it, so that’s not how much it would be, right? Zahra said it wasn’t that much before.

MATT: “It’s mostly done? I could keep working on it, if you like, and make it all done.”

LAURA: Oh. Okay. But that’s 30,000 gold pieces?

MATT: “Well, for cost and time. I’d put it more about 12, for a friend.”

LAURA: Jesus. Man.

TRAVIS: Better make it work, then. Better wait.

LAURA: I’ll wait. You keep making this awesome.

MATT: “Okay. Sorry dear, I haven’t had a lot of time.”

LAURA: (dryly) No. I know you’re so busy.

LIAM: The romance is over.

(laughter)

LAURA: Mark it back down to one in my– Zahra, you’re amazing.

LIAM: (dryly) No, it’s great. It’s super cool.

LAURA: We’re going into battle pretty soon. These fuckers are pretty dangerous, so I’m concerned.

MATT: “So should I balk on the research and focus on–”

LAURA: Keep doing what you’re doing. If you find the time–

MATT: “Noted.”

LAURA: Thank you, Zahra.

MATT: “No worries, dear. I should make some tea.” She rubs her eye a little bit, gets up. “Have a good night, Vex.” Walks by. As she exits the room as you stand there, her tail whips you in the back.

LAURA: I deserved that!

LIAM: Mary is going to see this!

LAURA: Mary said it was only five, okay.

TALIESIN: Mary says a lot of things.

TRAVIS: Did Kima and Allura show up yet?

MATT: Kima shows up.

TRAVIS: Kima shows up? Kima!

MATT: As she walks up, it’s midday. She’s not armored at all. She’s wearing a standard linen shirt that’s sweat through. It looks like she’s been doing physical labor work and she comes up with dirt smeared in her face. “Grog, it’s been a while!”

TRAVIS: It has! Yeah, you little badass.

MATT: (chuckles) “You big badass. What can I do for you?”

TRAVIS: Oh. Yeah. The thinkers are inside the room.

SAM: Hey. Where’s Allura?

MATT: “Do you need me to get her, as well?”

SAM: Yeah, the guard was supposed to get you both.

MATT: “Ugh. I’ll be right back.” She leaves for a bit. You wait a little bit longer. Eventually, she comes back with Allura. Allura not quite as dirty as Kima. They both arrive. “Hello, I’m glad to see you’ve returned. Can I help you?”

SAM: Yes, I don’t normally need to ask for help with magic, but this Gate scroll that I have here, is this something that you can do?

MATT: “This is beyond my magic.”

SAM: Forget I ever showed it to you. Doesn’t exist.

MATT: “No, this is incredible. This is very powerful magic.”

SAM: I know it’s really cool, but you shouldn’t know about it. It’s bad news.

MATT: “I think it has quite a bit of utility, to be honest. Do you need this, or could I–”

SAM: No, I do need it, desperately, yes. It’s very vital to our mission.

MATT: “Well, all right.”

TRAVIS: Whoa, wait. Do you have a use for it in mind, in particular?

MATT: “Well, this is the kind of spell that I could copy into my spellbook, and once I’m able to utilize it down the road it would be at my disposal.”

SAM: Would that make this scroll inactive?

MATT: “It would destroy the scroll, but I would be able to utilize the spell in a few years, maybe.”

TRAVIS: How long does it take to copy down the scroll? A couple seconds?

MATT: “It takes a few hours, maybe.”

TRAVIS: What is this voice I’m hearing?

LAURA: I just wandered back. I’m done talking to Zahra. Hey. The door’s open.

MATT: “Be careful with that. From what I can glean from the enchantment, it offers you quite a chance to pull pretty much anything to your side, but no real bindings on what you pull through.”

SAM: Yes. I think I understand how it works, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it when the time comes.

TRAVIS: No bindings on what comes through? You might get more than you bargained for?

MATT: “There are many a mage who ended up trying to bend something to their will and weren’t seen ever again.”

SAM: I think what she’s referring to is once we pull the thing through, it acts of its own volition. We can’t tell it what to do.

LAURA: We stay clear.

TRAVIS: Okay. But will its friends come through?

SAM: Probably not?

TRAVIS: Probably is good enough for me.

SAM: (sighs) All right.

LAURA: Once we pull it through, how do we keep it in place long enough for–

SAM: We don’t, we pull it through right in front of–

LAURA: How do we get in front of–

SAM: I could be invisible.

TRAVIS: Allura, thank you so much for your time. Please don’t let us disturb you any longer.

MATT: “No worries, I’m about to ready continuing to strengthen the veil with Shaun–”

SAM: Also I don’t know if you’d heard, but Tiberius fell.

MATT: “Oh. I’m sorry to hear that. These are dangerous times. I’ve got something I’ve got to do. Stay safe. Be careful with that.” She walks out of the room, a little dazed, and rubs the top of Kima’s head, and you watch her leave.

LAURA: How is she?

MATT: “She’s stretched a little thin these days, to be honest.”

LAURA: Her and Gilmore both.

MATT: “Well there’s a lot going on, and a lot needs to be found and a lot needs to be done, and a never-ending barrage of responsibility. Which I despise. Where are you guys off to?”

LAURA: Well, something you might enjoy, actually.

MATT: “Really?” You see this big, toothy grin curl across her face, and her fingers twitch. “So?”

LAURA: Feel like killing a dragon?

MATT: (excited chuckles) “I was hoping you’d say that! Let me get my armor. How soon? When?”

TRAVIS: Pretty soon. We only save you for the big fights.

MATT: “All righty! Stay right here. I’ll be right back!” She darts off with a spring in her step and a little chuckle as she heads down the hall.

TRAVIS: Quick, before she comes back.

LAURA: No!

TRAVIS: What? It would be the best bag ever, come on.

SAM: Won’t she ask why Assum is with us?

LAURA: No.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: Here’s what I think. She’s going to find out eventually, and then what do we say when they all know we’ve known the whole time?

TRAVIS: Look, when we start attacking Seeker Assum, then we kill Kima. What? She’s probably a dragon, too.

LAURA: Shit. I totally did that, didn’t I? But she wanted to come! And fight the dragon. I’m an idiot.

TRAVIS: Look, we don’t have to tell her. As soon as we hit Raishan, she’ll reveal herself, anyway. That was our agreement, not tell, right?

MARISHA: But then what happens when Kima goes, did you guys know?

TALIESIN: Yes.

TRAVIS: Yeah. She didn’t ask.

SAM: Paints us as pretty shady folk.

MARISHA: These are the people we need to trust us. They are our allies.

TALIESIN: She has kept secrets from us, and we have a perfectly legitimate reason for not telling.

TRAVIS: I’m with Percy on that.

MARISHA: That was also years ago!

TALIESIN: No, we have a very– fine! We still have a perfectly reasonable reason for not telling anyone, which is that if we tell people the city gets destroyed.

LAURA: And they get destroyed!

TALIESIN: You are welcome to tell her, and then we have to deal with the city being destroyed.

TRAVIS: Plus, Kima is a total bash brother, and if she gets to find out she gets to kill two dragons instead of one, I don’t think she’s going to be upset.

SAM: I don’t know, we’re putting her in a lot of danger.

TALIESIN: As opposed to staying here.

MARISHA: And we were aware, and we could have told her. She going to be angry at not telling her the full parameters.

TALIESIN: She will.

TRAVIS: Yeah, did see her, though? She’s sweaty. She’s working on the outside of houses.

MARISHA: This is not someone we want to lose our trust.

SAM: She could help protect the city, it could go under siege.

TALIESIN: She’s a soldier. They’re used to not being told things.

MARISHA: No, she is not a soldier in our manifested army! She is our friend and ally. There is a difference right now. This is a different duty and relationship.

LAURA: I feel like I got us into this, and I’m really sorry about that.

SAM: We can get her out of it really quickly.

TALIESIN: We can tell her not to come.

SAM: We can tell her that it never happened.

TRAVIS: You saw how excited she was! It’s her choice! If she’s our friend and ally, let her choose.

SAM: She’ll choose a fight every time.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

MARISHA: But she’ll choose a fight unaware of exactly what she’s getting into.

TALIESIN: Well, we can make that clear, then. Tell her that there are aspects of this fight that sadly must remain secret, that it’s far more dangerous than we could possibly even explain–

TRAVIS: Yep, what he said.

TALIESIN: And that things may go completely tits-up.

MARISHA: This is Lady Kima we are talking about! She is one of the most hard-headed people we know. She is going to push until we tell her what happened.

TALIESIN: Even if we tell her the truth, she’s still going to want to come.

MARISHA: So then either we tell her the truth and trust that she can keep a secret, or she doesn’t come. She’s going to find out, and I don’t want to lose her trust.

TALIESIN: I don’t want to tell her.

MARISHA: Percy–

TALIESIN: No, I’m happy for her not to come because I don’t want to tell her, because I don’t trust–

MARISHA: I don’t trust anyone right now.

TALIESIN: I barely trust us to keep this secret, let alone another person.

TRAVIS: Oh my god, honestly. All right. To a vote.

LAURA: What are we voting on?

TRAVIS: Whether we bring Kima or not.

MARISHA: She’s going to be mad at us either way, so it depends on if she’s mad at us now or even more angry at us later.

TRAVIS: I want her to fight a dragon. All those in favor of Kima not going to fight a dragon, raise your hand. All those in favor of Kima going to fight a dragon, raise your hand.

LAURA: You’re abstaining?

LIAM: I’m not there.

LAURA: Oh shit!

TRAVIS: I grab my earring. I’m like, Vax, where are you? Can you hear me?

LIAM: I’m sure I’m more than 500 feet away.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Well, look, she’s then going to wonder why we uninvited her. We are lying to her no matter which way we take right now.

SAM: If you want I can wipe her memory of the fact that we offered–

TRAVIS: Oh my god!

LAURA: If she finds out, she is going to be really super pissed.

TALIESIN: I’m okay with this plan.

TRAVIS: Removing an ally from a fight.

LAURA: I feel like she should come.

TRAVIS: Taking one of the guns and going, nah! I want that gun to trust me.

MARISHA: Look, I want her there more than anything. I don’t want to lie to her and I also don’t want her dead and I don’t want to drag her into a situation she could have known more about.

SAM: I defer to the Grand Poobah’s will. I will change my vote to yes.

TRAVIS: There could be ears listening.

SAM: I know. Don’t worry, I’ll wipe their minds, too. Let’s bring her.

TALIESIN: You really won’t.

LAURA: Let’s do it.

MARISHA: So we’re bringing her?

SAM: Yes. And what’s our plan? Do we go to sleep and wake up and go? How do we get there?

TALIESIN: We go in the morning.

SAM: How are we getting there?

LAURA: Tree Stride.

SAM: We’re going to burn her spell in the morning to get there? Shouldn’t we go now, sleep there?

TALIESIN: No, I was assuming we would go there tomorrow, set everything up, and then have it happen the day after. We can go camp in our house, deep in–

SAM: With Raishan? In my house? Raishan’s not getting in the mansion, ever.

TRAVIS: By the way, that two-week time period we had. How far into that are we?

SAM: Two days?

MATT: Yeah, you got a handful of days left.

TRAVIS: Okay. Just checking.

TALIESIN: We go there, we set up. Raishan can handle herself.

SAM: Fine, let’s go.

MARISHA: We’re going? Well, you know what? I’ve got to handle something first.

SAM: Oh boy.

MATT: While this is happening: Vax. Eventually, you find your way to the makeshift training barracks that are established on the northeastern side of the city where Kashaw was earlier training recruits. You can see now that this late in the afternoon, most of the training has come to a halt, but Jarett is still in the process right now of instructing Kynan. Kynan has been given more standard Whitestone armor to get rid of the dark, roguish look that he had before, partially to help him mentally feel like he’s in a different place and has some connection to the city. But Jarett is in the process now of working him through some swordplay. As you approach, the two of them stop and Jarett looks over towards you. “Ah, Vax, it is good to see you. What can we do for you?”

LIAM: Well, first, how’s he coming along?

MATT: “Well he’s a bit rough around the edges, but he’s actually a pretty decently trained fighter.”

LIAM: Yeah, I’d agree with that.

MATT: Kynan’s quiet.

LIAM: I’m on de Rolo business right now. Can I borrow the boy?

MATT: “I don’t know. Do you want to be borrowed?” “I suppose. Did I do anything?”

LIAM: No, you’re fine. Take a walk with me?

MATT: “Sure.”

LIAM: I need to head back to the castle.

MATT: “Let me just–” And he hands the blade over to Jarett, who takes it and sheathes it on the side.

LIAM: Jarett. He’ll be back tomorrow for a little more, all right?

MAT: “All right. I shall prepare. Don’t do anything stupid, boy.” He smiles, and comes up and starts walking with you but keeps about a foot and a half, two feet between the two of you. He seems to still be putting a boundary there.

LIAM: Hey. Listen to me. I wanted to give you a little more time. I wanted to. And I don’t think we have it. Things are moving fast. You didn’t know what was going on. I don’t fault you; I fault myself. That day you showed up– look at me. I had a point, but I made sport of you while making it, and that is on me. And I’m sorry for it.

MATT: “I’m sorry, too. I should have taken it for the lesson it was, and I was too dumb and young to let it get through my thick skull.”

LIAM: Hey, man. I’m a little bit older than you, but I’m a massive fucking shithead. I’ve made plenty of mistakes, and I only knew how easy it was for shit to blow up in your face, and now it has. Percival and I want to offer you a means of squaring yourself off.

MATT: “What do you need?”

LIAM: This city is in danger, and it needs people watching it, and I know you’re training. Percy– I’m sorry, Percival– has a task for you, and I think it’s well suited for you. You were around Ripley, you were around her other men, and you know how to use a sidearm.

MATT: “I’ve toyed with it. I wouldn’t say I’m a great shot, by any means.”

LIAM: Sure. But the number of people who know how to use those things I can count on two hands. Here. We have guns now. We need people to use them, so I want you to come and talk to Percival for a bit, and we’re going to work out a plan for you to show some people the ropes.

MATT: “All right. Okay.”

LIAM: This is your second chance. I don’t doubt you’re going to make the best of it. I truly do not. And again, I was going to wait on this, because I can see the pain in your eyes, but there isn’t time. And I want you to be well equipped, so I want you to take these. And I hand him two of the three daggers that I bought that day, and I take out the Keen Dagger, which requires attunement. These are mine, and now they’re yours. Water under the bridge, and I don’t want to hear a word, just walk with me to de Rolo.

MATT: “Okay. Thank you.”

LIAM: I’m sorry.

MATT: “I’m sorry.” He walks along with you, eventually leading you back to Percy’s workshop where the instruction is given for the weapons. Anything beyond that he doesn’t understand about the rifles. Nothing construction, general outfitting. He seems to be more of an adept student than you expected. He’s got some intellect to him, at the very least, he can pick up the details pretty quick. Quick learner, when he puts his mind to it. About this time, as you’re having this discussion, you can hear the bounding of armored feet, and bursting through the partially open door you see, fully armored, eager, hair pulled back in a tight braid, big old maul scraping on the stone behind her. “All right. When are we doing this?”

TALIESIN: Tomorrow.

MATT: “Tomorrow? That’s–”

(laughter)

MATT: “Does it have to be tomorrow?”

SAM: Why, what are you doing tomorrow?

MATT: “It’s really quiet here. I’m getting extremely bored.”

SAM: Oh. You want to go now?

MATT: “I mean, whenever you need to, I’m just saying–”

SAM: We could go now and camp there.

TALIESIN: That’ll give Kik a chance to replenish.

LAURA: Yeah, that’s true.

MARISHA: I don’t see any difference in Raishan being able to kill us in our sleep here or there.

LIAM: She could stay in the shittiest room in the mansion, Scanlan.

SAM: She’s not getting in the mansion. She can go sit in the fucking snow and go to sleep, for all I care.

MATT: “I’m very confused right now.”

SAM: Oh.

LIAM: Do the thing.

(laughter)

LAURA: It’s only ten minutes now. It’s only ten fucking minutes.

SAM: The whole shebang, or just what we said right now? Just what we just said right now, just that? Great.

TALIESIN: No, wait! Might as well test the waters.

SAM: Okay, yeah. Good. Nine minutes and counting.

MATT: “Okay, hang on, whoa. I need some clarification here.” The hammer slams down onto the stonework.

TALIESIN: Shut the door, lock it. This is not how I wanted this to go down, but apparently this is how it’s happening– wait a minute. Your boy is gone by now, right? We sent him out.

LAURA: He’s gone.

MATT: (laughs) No, you guys were teaching him about the guns when she came back.

LIAM: You never know when it’s out of character or in character–

MATT: Mind you, he seems largely confused and doesn’t seem to know what’s going on.

TALIESIN: I’m going to go take the boy for a stroll and show him how this is going to work and explain to him everything. Gentlemen, you actually plan how we’re going to kill dragons. Excuse me. Give me strength.

LIAM: All right, quickly. Kima, we need to talk to you about something very important, and if it doesn’t go well, Scanlan is going to erase your memory, but–

MATT: “Excuse me?!”

SAM: I can do crazy things.

MATT: “No, nobody’s doing that to me!”

LIAM: Of course not, because you are so cool. Cool as a cucumber. We’re in a bit of a predicament. We are going to Draconia so that you can fight not one but two dragons. Here’s the thing: one of the dragons is here right now, is coming with us in disguise–

MATT: Immediately the maul gets grabbed, she says, “Here?”

LAURA: No, I think you’re doing it wrong. Scanlan–

LIAM: We’ve got eight more minutes!

LAURA: No, we don’t.

SAM: Lady Kima. We, in order to kill one dragon, are entering into a deal with another.

LIAM: Before we kill it.

MATT: “Are you crazy?!”

TRAVIS: I know, that’s what I said.

LAURA: Pure stupidity.

MATT: “Obviously, yes!”

TRAVIS: Hear him out.

SAM: If we do this, it could help us kill the dragon that killed Tiberius.

MATT: “And you think you can trust this dragon?”

ALL: No.

MATT: “Come on, guys!”

TRAVIS: All right, look. The dragon is actually poisoned by a curse. She’s very weak.

MATT: “Great! Perfect!”

TRAVIS: We plan to take advantage of that.

MATT: “Why don’t we kill the dragon here, and then kill the other dragon there–”

LAURA: She’ll fuck up Whitestone. It’ll give us away. We have to get away from the city.

SAM: Lady Kima, you’re looking at a group of idiots who have felled dragons, killed beholders, negotiated with sphinxes, gone to other realms and other planes, and somehow managed to get out of it more or less alive.

MATT: “You are a lucky bunch of sons-of-bitches, that I’ll give to you!”

LIAM: You know what also this is like?

LAURA: I’m keeping an eye on the time.

MATT: She leans on her hammer.

LIAM: This is what this is like: this is just like the Underdark, with one exception. We worked with that fucking asshole thinking he might have some redeeming qualities and he didn’t, he turned on us, right?

MATT: “Yeah, and who told you that? Who told you that was going to happen? Who at the very first moment you showed him to me said, 'This guy is going to try and kill you?’”

LIAM: But on the side, he helped us get as far as he did, but then he got shot through the head, but that’s water under the bridge! This time, we know that we’re dealing with a fucking piece of shit. We’re going to turn on the piece of shit and kill her. The whole plan is to get them all to turn on each other, and then we mop up the messy bits afterwards.

TALIESIN: Seven minutes!

LIAM: One dragon or two dragons? You want to play? Let’s play.

SAM: Or you can let us go into this without you. And probably all die.

MATT: “Yeah, you’re all going to die!”

TRAVIS: Oh.

LIAM: You were ready to run with us, girl!

MATT: “Oh, I’m coming with you, because I’m not going to let you die!”

SAM: Oh, you are?

MATT: “God. Stupid bunch of gits, I swear. Bahamut, are you serious? (scoffs) This is ridiculous. I’m not going to tell anyone you made this plan until it’s done, because this is stupid as shit.”

SAM: It could be. But with you by our side, it has a slightly better chance of going correct.

MATT: “Yes, it does.”

LIAM: Kimmy, can you be cool?

MATT: “Please don’t call me that.”

SAM: Lil’ Kim.

LIAM: Can you be cool?

MATT: “Where’s the dragon?”

LAURA: It’s in Draconia.

TALIESIN: Six minutes.

MATT: “What about the one that’s here?”

LAURA: It’s hiding.

MATT: “Hiding?”

LIAM: It’s going to show up after the fact. In Draconia.

MATT: “So this whole deal, you just don’t trust me enough to tell me where the dragon’s sleeping in our place right now? You’re all acting very weird.”

TRAVIS: We made a deal.

SAM: It’s for your own protection. We can’t tell you everything.

LAURA: What if you go running off? What if you go try to kill it in here, and Whitestone gets destroyed?

MATT: “Please.”

LAURA: It’s a temptation. Believe me, we know.

MATT: “It is very tempting, trust me, yes it is. But I’m also not stupid.”

SAM: After all we’ve been through–

LIAM: We’ve all almost died a hundred times.

SAM: We’re asking you to trust us blindly in this scenario, and I know that it’s not ideal, but we have saved you before.

MARISHA: And Kima, please remember: between me and you, of all people, before we trusted the illithid, we trusted you.

LAURA: Well we trusted her.

MARISHA: You’re right. I didn’t trust you.

MATT: “I was about to say–”

MARISHA: They trusted you. I didn’t. I’m getting to my point! But we grew past that, and now I trust you more implicitly than most people in this world.

MATT: “Good.”

TALIESIN: This is precisely why you people need me!

LIAM: I think all these words are fucking it up. She seems down. I think we should just get it on.

LAURA: Here’s the thing, though: you have to pretend like you don’t know. It’s super important.

LIAM: Right. Can you be cool?

MATT: “You’re asking me to lie?”

LAURA: Well. Pretend.

MATT: “I’m not real good at lying.”

TRAVIS: How about you just don’t say anything?

MATT: “That I can do.”

LAURA: Okay. Perfect. And don’t attack.

TALIESIN: Four minutes.

SAM: Should I wipe her memory?

TRAVIS and LAURA: No.

SAM: Might be easier, at this point.

TRAVIS: No, we’re good.

MATT: “You come near me with any sort of magic mumbo-jumbo, I’m going to clock you in the head, Scanlan.”

SAM: Lady Kima, I don’t know what you’re talking about.

MATT: “I love you, but I’m going to clock you in the head if you try and wipe my memory, little gnome.”

LIAM: Kima. We’ve got three minutes left. Kima.

MATT: “Until what?!”

LAURA: He can choose any ten minutes he wants, really.

LIAM: That’s true. You know our mind, you know what our plan is. You’re kind of a firebrand, do you think it might be better for you not to know– you know now, but to not know going in and then you kill everything on sight when we’re there?

MATT: “I have no idea what you’re talking about, and this is really starting to frustrate me. Are we going to kill a dragon?”

LAURA and TRAVIS: Yes.

MATT: “We’re going to kill two dragons?”

LIAM: One to two dragons, yes.

MATT: “Great, okay. What’s the plan?”

TRAVIS: We leave tonight.

LAURA: We go.

SAM: We go where the dragon is, we’re going to release bait. When the dragon is done with the bait, we go in and kill the dragon.

TRAVIS: Yep, pretty much.

LIAM: And then another dragon.

SAM: Maybe a third after that.

LAURA: If we’re totally weak, though, we can’t fight the second dragon right away, we have to save up our strength and then fight her after so we don’t die.

MATT: “I’m not going to lie, I admire your drive and gusto. Just be smart about this.”

TALIESIN: Look at that, she says she can’t lie, and there she did it so well.

SAM: I thought you were gone.

TALIESIN: I’m listening in to this whole thing through the earphone as I’m talking. That’s how I keep telling you how long you have, because I’m laughing so much.

MATT: “All right. Well, then.”

MARISHA: I’m going to go talk to the Sun Tree.

SAM: I thought we were going? We’re leaving now?

MARISHA: Just gather your shit. I’ll meet you there.

SAM: Where?

TALIESIN and MARISHA: The Sun Tree.

LIAM: She’s our ticket there.

LAURA: Don’t talk to anyone, Kima.

MATT: “If we’re leaving soon, I’m sticking with you guys.”

TALIESIN: I’m going to let Assum in on our plan.

LIAM: Hey, Scanlan, could you wipe Kynan’s memory, please?

SAM: Kynan?

LIAM: Yeah, he’s here.

SAM: Kynan didn’t really hear anything.

TALIESIN: No, I left with him.

LIAM: You left with him?

TALIESIN: I haven’t been in the room because I took him away.

LIAM: I redact that statement. Excellent.

LAURA: Yeah, that’s why Percy left.

LIAM: I see. I was focused on the fire–

TALIESIN: Oh, no. I’ve walked Kynan to show him how I would like things to function.

MATT: Yeah, and as you’re listening in you gave him all the instruction and he takes it in pretty well. Jarett catches up with you, and you both coordinate with that. All right. You head to the Sun Tree while the rest of you gather the rest of your materials and supplies.

LAURA: I’m going to– well, if we have time. I’m going to attune my cold-snap armor to me, so I’ll probably not have my bracers attuned.

MATT: Okay, so that’s two damage off any of your ranged attacks. So keep note of that.

LAURA: But I get, what, cold resistance and added AC, or something?

TALIESIN: I’m going to attune Animus and drop the gloves of missile snaring for this fight.

LIAM: Free wet willies.

MATT: As you attune the weapon, there’s a brief familiar dark glow on the weapon, and all the three names that exist on the barrel all dissipate. It’s now a clean barrel.

LAURA: Oh no.

TALIESIN: Well, all right. We’ll have to have a talk about that. Is it alright if I let Assum know what our basic plan is?

SAM: What, that we’re leaving now?

TALIESIN: We’re leaving now, we’ll be heading there, the fight will be tomorrow. There will be a creature that we will lure and bait the white dragon with, we will attack at the end. We expect to see her participation. If we are not acutely aware of it, all deals are off.

LIAM: Sounds good to me.

TALIESIN: I relay that information.

MATT: Okay. Do you go to Assum’s room?

TALIESIN: I knock.

MATT: You knock on the door.

TALIESIN: Assum?

MATT: A voice goes, (shushes). You hear lowered voices from the other side of the door for a moment.

TALIESIN: I walk away, assuming that Assum will know where to find me.

TRAVIS: That’s it?

TALIESIN: I go back to gathering my things, pulling powder and shot out of what was necessary.

MATT: Okay. About ten minutes go by, and as you’re gathering things Assum approaches. “I’m sorry, Percy. I was indisposed.”

TALIESIN: I apologize. I hope I didn’t disrupt anything important.

MATT: “No. I was keen enough to cover, but both the Cinder King and the Frigid Doom are under the impression that there is no mounting danger.”

TALIESIN: Tonight, we go to Draconia.

MATT: “Very well.”

TALIESIN: Tomorrow, we fight the dragon. We will bait him with another creature of great strength–

MATT: “Might I ask what creature of great strength you intend to bait Vorugal with?”

TALIESIN: I don’t think anything you’ve ever heard of before.

MATT: “Try me.”

TALIESIN: What the hell. I pull out the book and show him the picture.

SAM: (whispering) Her.

TALIESIN: Sorry. Thank you.

LAURA: Well, it’s Assum right now.

LIAM: It’s confusing, man.

TALIESIN: Yeah. There’s a lot of gender issues in this.

MATT: “Reaching into the Abyss! That’s curious.”

TALIESIN: I figured that quite possibly, in private, you and I have the closest dispositions.

MATT: “I can see that kinship, as well.”

TALIESIN: Once that fight has concluded, we mop up whatever is left. We expect to see your participation in some form. I understand if it can’t be direct. MATT: “I can be of aid, I just have to remain inconspicuous. I cannot be seen to be part of this confrontation.”

TALIESIN: Obviously.

MATT: “And all shall be fine.”

TALIESIN: We may have some extra people with us, as well.

MATT: “This was not discussed. Who would you intend to bring into this deal?”

TALIESIN: That, sadly, I cannot inform. Although there will be Draconians. They are disinterested in our politics.

MATT: “And disposable?”

TALIESIN: I would hope not. But I understand your point of view. I will say for the sake of this encounter, our point of view will be dominant. But I understand and respect yours. When dealing with ants, you must respect the needs of ants. Surely you understand?

MATT: “I follow. All right.”

TALIESIN: So there will be that. We will have a couple of accompanying members as well, but since you’re staying hidden, it shouldn’t be a problem. I would recommend not showing up in this form, at the very least.

MATT: “Oh, in this form? I have many forms I can take. I have an idea. Very well. Fetch me when you’re ready.”

TALIESIN: We will be leaving on our own. You will have to meet us there. I’m sure getting to Draconia shouldn’t be too much of a problem for you?

MATT: “Why not travel with you and your band? That seems like a waste of magic.”

TALIESIN: It does, but sadly we are trying to keep our own reality quiet. The needs of ants. And also, they don’t want you around. They don’t trust you.

MATT: “I understand that, but if you’re going now, it takes me at least three, four days of travel over the ocean to get to Draconia.”

TALIESIN: Surely you can find a faster way. You got here very quickly. You so rarely lie that I’m so fascinated that when you do, I think I’m starting to get your tells, just a bit of them.

MATT: “You’re a funny little man.”

TALIESIN: I take that as the highest compliment.

MATT: “Well, then. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

TALIESIN: See you tomorrow.

MATT: And Assum turns around and exits.

TALIESIN: I turn the corner, get far enough away, and drop to my knees and breathe deeply for a minute.

MARISHA: Well done.

TALIESIN: Head to the Sun Tree.

MATT: All right. You guys make your way to the Sun Tree. While you’re walking, Keyleth, you head there, as well. Is there anything you wanted to do before they arrive?

MARISHA: Yes, I wanted to go underneath in our little Sun Tree cave that we carved out.

MATT: Okay. So you go beneath the tavern, into the basement, down into the little tunnel beneath that leads to the Sun Tree’s roots.

MARISHA: Yeah. And I cast Commune with Nature.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: (laughs) There’s so much pressure on this. Is there a way I can put my hand inside the Sun Tree?

TALIESIN: Wow.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: It’s less of a merger and more as you touch and connect to the roots, your consciousness and the Sun Tree’s consciousness can combine.

LAURA: You’re holding the roots.

TRAVIS: Dear diary–

LAURA: Today I talked to the Sun Tree.

MARISHA: Dear Sun Tree–

SAM: It was so turgid.

TRAVIS: Turgid?

TALIESIN: It was an appropriate usage of the word! Very well done, very good.

MATT: Yeah!

MARISHA: Okay, I’m going to cast Commune with Nature and try and connect with the Sun Tree.

MATT: You grab the roots and feel the warmth flow through your hands and there your consciousness connects with that of the Sun Tree, and you are both present in that same plant space.

MARISHA: Sun Tree?

MATT: “Hey, Keyleth.”

(giggling)

MATT: “Been a while.”

MARISHA: Hey Sun Tree.

MATT: “Hey, Keyleth.”

MARISHA: Without burning a question, can I personally ask you, how are you doing, man?

MATT: “Doing all right.”

MARISHA: Yeah?

MATT: “A little cold, but… Whitestone.”

MARISHA: Okay, man, yeah. Hey, Sun Tree?

MATT: “Yeah, Keyleth?”

MARISHA: So you’re overtop all these arcane ley-lines across the whole globe, right? I’ve traveled a lot of places here lately. What are all the cities that the other arcane ley lines fall across?

MATT: “I don’t rightly know.” MARISHA: Can I sense it through the Sun Tree’s roots?

MATT: Which, as he converses with you, he says, “I’ve been here a long time. Don’t really get around much, being a tree.” But you do feel this light, fuzzy, blue, almost like a mist energy, like a particle energy that is coalesced around Whitestone and above it, and it shoots off in six different directions, some that curl up northwards, some that curl out over the ocean, and you see them spider out in places and then go beyond your peripheral. The ley-lines only spider out past the Alabaster Sierras; you can’t see much further than that.

MARISHA: Are there any cities, any places of interest I can see that we’ve been through before, where they happen to cross?

MATT: Let me look at the specifics of Commune with Nature real fast.

MARISHA: I’m trying to see if I can use the Sun Tree to extend my vision a little further.

MATT: Unfortunately, the spell only lasts for up to three miles.

MARISHA: Yeah. I want to extend a little further?

MATT: You sense that yes, these ley energies do travel much further and surround the world and make a network of various magical pathways, but unfortunately the Sun Tree and your vision right now doesn’t go far beyond Whitestone. “Yeah. It isn’t a lot.”

MARISHA: So the ziggurat, the spinning orb of death that happens to be right underneath you, are you in touch with what that might be feeding?

MATT: “Can’t say I do.”

MARISHA: Goddamn it, Sun Tree! Goddamn it!

MATT: “Keyleth, calm down. I’m happy to answer your questions, invite you to my space. Just because I’m not an all-seeing tree, don’t be angry with me.”

MARISHA: I’m not angry with you, Sun Tree.

MATT: “Angry in general. Just chill.”

MARISHA: That’s really easy for you to say, Sun Tree.

MATT: “Yeah, it is.”

(laughter)

MARISHA: Okay. All right. Sun Tree.

MATT: “Yeah, Keyleth?”

MARISHA: You’re a tree from Pelor, yes?

MATT: “More or less.”

MARISHA: Have there been the attention of any other gods on Whitestone right now? That you can sense? Or can I sense? I’m asking the Sun Tree out of humor, but can I sense it? I’m assuming the tree doesn’t actually know fucking shit.

MATT: The tree may know a lot, just, the right questions need to be asked. The Sun Tree says, “To be perfectly honest, Keyleth, even Pelor’s grace left this place hundreds of years ago. His presence is here in bits and pieces, but when I was first taking seed, the gods were much more present, much easier to read. Kind of lonely nowadays.”

MARISHA: That’s so sad.

MATT: “I know, Keyleth. I know.”

MARISHA: You’ve got me, Sun Tree. I’m here. You shouldn’t be lonely.

MATT: “When you’re around, Keyleth, nobody can be lonely.”

MARISHA: Aww, that’s so– aww.

LAURA: He’s saying that as you’re holding on to his roots.

MATT: Don’t make it weird, Laura.

LAURA: Sorry.

LIAM: It was weird five minutes ago, Matt!

MARISHA: Okay, Sun Tree. I don’t think I have much time left, but is there anything– you said you’re lonely. I just want to say if you ever want to talk, I’m here. You know you can confide in me. If there’s anything you want to say, I’m all ears, you know?

MATT: “I appreciate that.”

MARISHA: Yeah?

MATT: “You’ve got to come to me.”

(laughter)

MATT: “But when you do, hell yeah.”

MARISHA: You know, I didn’t really get any of the things I was looking for, Sun Tree, but I still feel a little better. Thank you.

MATT: “That’s all that matters, Keyleth.”

MARISHA: Yeah! You’re cool, Sun Tree.

MATT: “You’re cool too, girl.”

MARISHA: Aww! Not as cool as you.

MATT: “Probably.”

MARISHA: Yeah. Okay, I’m going to be walking through you here in a minute, so I wanted to let you know that there’s going to be eight people going through, so don’t feel alarmed.

MATT: “Oh boy.”

MARISHA: Does that hurt you?

MATT: “It tingles a little.”

MARISHA: Oh, okay.

MATT: “That’s all right.”

MARISHA: I’m sorry. I’m not going to stop doing it, but I’m sorry.

MATT: “I appreciate it.”

MARISHA: All right. Bye, Sun Tree.

MATT: “Bye, Keyleth.”

LAURA: Has anybody seen Keyleth?

MATT: As you go up top, the whole group is gathered there, currently.

TALIESIN: She’s downstairs with her wood.

LAURA: Oh. Did you have fun?

LIAM: You seem way more relaxed than even an hour ago.

TALIESIN: You smell of pine.

LAURA: And sap.

LIAM: Yep. I’ll have whatever she’s having.

SAM: Are we ready to do this?

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Sure.

SAM: Hey, before we go, Lady Kima. (singing) When the gnome hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you’ve been mind-melded! (speaking) I’m going to wipe her mind. It’s too risky.

TALIESIN: Of what?

SAM: Of the whole conversation. It’s too risky.

TALIESIN: That’s a lot of mind–

SAM: Nope! It’s a ten-minute conversation.

LIAM: Ten minutes, when he wants it.

MATT: All right, what’s your spell DC on this?

SAM: 21.

MATT: Well, you didn’t have your hand cone out, though, when you did it.

SAM: Oh, you’re going to bust me on that? 19, then.

(laughter)

MATT: Kima’s eyes blink for a second. “Didn’t I warn you, Scanlan Shorthalt, not to try and wipe my mind?!”

SAM: (yelps)

MATT: She’s taking a hit. Natural 20.

(gasps)

MATT: Right there. Okay.

SAM: (nervous laugh) This is how I die.

TALIESIN: I’m okay with this.

MARISHA: I was feeling relaxed.

MATT: You take 35 points of damage. 27 of it blunt damage from the actual impact with the hammer; the rest of it’s thunder damage. As her Holy Thunder Maul slams into the side of your head and sends you skidding ten feet across the ground, coming to a halt.

TALIESIN: That felt fair.

LAURA: Well, he deserved it.

MATT: “Damn right, he did.”

LIAM: Well, he had good– there’s a lot at stake–

TRAVIS: Vax. Let it be.

LAURA: How about we get through the tree before we talk anymore?

MATT: “I love you guys, but–”

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Oh, no, he had that coming.

TRAVIS: It was a good swing.

MATT: “Thank you. I’ve been tense recently, anyway.”

LIAM: I pull the gnome up and cast Lay on Hands and give him ten hit points. You all right, buddy?

SAM: (groaning) You passed the test. You’re worthy of coming with us on the journey.

TALIESIN: We can only apologize for him so much.

MATT: “This is true. Shall we get on with it?”

TRAVIS and TALIESIN: Yes.

LAURA: We’re popping in far enough away, right? In the tree grove up above the chasm?

LIAM: There was that sideways tree?

MATT: The sideways tree was where you came through, but you found a tree above that you could get to.

MARISHA: And I grew a tree, right? Didn’t I grow some trees?

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: I pick one of those trees.

MATT: Okay. You finish your Transport Via Plants spell. The portal opens. You all begin darting through, Kima darts through. Who’s the last one out?

TALIESIN: I’ll be the last one out.

MATT: Make a perception check.

TALIESIN: No. 11.

MATT: 11. Okay. You dart through the portal before it closes. You all emerge from the other side. The cold, snowy ice hits you. There is actually a bit of a snowstorm that is blowing through right now as you come on the other side. Immediately, the wind chill hits you, and it gets extremely cold. It was darker in the day; it was starting to get later in the afternoon. Here, it is night. It is blustery. Not quite blizzard, but definitely a heavy snow. Decent wind, night, on the bluff right outside the ravine that dips down into the remnants of Draconia, and the small, icy throne that Vorugal currently calls home.

TALIESIN: Let’s find a place to hide the mansion and sleep.

MARISHA: What time is it here?

MATT: It’s night. You don’t know what hour, but it’s black night.

MARISHA: I can scry once we get in the mansion.

LAURA: Can you set us up?

SAM: Sure, yeah. I’ll poof the mansion.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Also, quickly, I’ve attuned Whisper, and I’ve changed the Deathwalker’s Ward to cold.

LAURA: What’s my armor class now that I’ve put the cold-snap armor on?

MATT: You had armor on before, right?

LAURA: I did, so is it up two points from that?

MATT: The armor was plus two, right? You have the item card for it? Then yeah, your armor class would be up by two. All right, so. You guys enter the mansion. Kima comes in, looking around. “Well, that’s pretty damn swanky!”

TALIESIN: Yeah. Shut the door.

MATT: (shushes)

SAM: I was going to show you to your room–

MATT: “No.”

SAM: All right, well, then you can sleep in the fucking living room.

MATT: “Fine. I’ve slept in worse.”

SAM: Great. Servants! Don’t help her.

MATT: “I don’t need any help.” She leans up against the side of the foyer wall and starts taking her armor off. She’s keeping an eye on Scanlan the whole time.

LAURA: Kima, there’s extra rooms upstairs.

MATT: “I’m good here.”

TRAVIS: Are you hungry at all?

MATT: “I actually am pretty hungry, yeah.”

TRAVIS: I’ll find food for you. I go for the kitchen.

MATT: “Thank you.” What else do you guys want to get done in preparation for this?

LIAM: Do we want to have a Heroes’ Feast because of the terror that dragons inflict upon all those who–

SAM: Is it prepared?

LIAM: What else are we saving it for, other than this?

SAM: No, I mean, she has to prepare it ahead of time.

MARISHA: Can I cast it ahead of time? Sorry. Can I cast Heroes’ Feast at a higher level?

MATT: You can, yeah. But do you have it prepared?

MARISHA: No, I brought Transport via Plants. I can do it in the morning.

LAURA: But it uses one of your spells? Is that all right? I mean, it’s pretty important.

MARISHA: It is pretty important. Can I do it as a ritual spell?

MATT: I don’t think it works that way unless it says it’s a ritual. Sorry. Yeah, Heroes’ Feast is not a ritual, so you have to have it prepared.

SAM: You can do it tomorrow morning, or not at all.

MARISHA: I’m going to scry.

MATT: Okay. What are you going to scry?

MARISHA: I don’t want to necessarily scry on Vorugal, but can I scry in her–

TALIESIN: She has guards. We also have the leader of the dragonborn.

MARISHA: What do you mean?

TALIESIN: We can see where he is right now.

MARISHA: Instead of spying on Vorugal?

LAURA: Who? What?

SAM: Wasn’t the leader of the dragonborn a female, first of all? And wasn’t Vorugal a male?

LAURA: She was. Vorugal’s a male.

MATT: Tooma is the leader of the– They’re not Draconians. These are the Ravenites. Draconians were essentially wiped out. Ravenites currently hold the ravine.

LAURA: Scry on Tooma.

MARISHA: I can scry a few times.

MATT: Just so you’re aware, you can only scry on someone on the same plane of existence, so you’ll have to step outside the mansion to scry.

MARISHA: Oh. I’ll step outside the mansion to scry.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I step outside the mansion, and I take a good, hard look around.

LAURA: I’ll sit in the door, and I’ll keep an eye on this.

MATT: Okay, both you guys make perception checks.

SAM: I’m also going out there with them.

TRAVIS: I’m in the kitchen.

LAURA: Natural 20.

MARISHA: Hey! 14.

SAM: Ten.

MATT: What’s the total on that for you, Vex?

LAURA: 33.

MATT: Okay. For what distance that you can see, there is no light visible down in the ravine. It is pitch-black darkness. You can see around you, there are the trees that you guys came through, a couple of other barren, broken trees that have been long dead or at least leafless for a while, slowly curling over the edge of the ravine. The land has eroded over time and they’ve slowly begun to move with it. You don’t see anything else in the immediate vicinity. It is freezing cold, though. You’re doing okay because of your armor. You’re a little chilly, and you’re shaking naturally from the wind chill as you’re preparing the ritual. You begin to focus on the scrying. Who are you scrying on, currently?

MARISHA: First, I’m going to scry on Tooma.

MATT: All right. As the cold begins to hit, the tips of your fingers begin to go numb, you finish the ritual. Your eyes glaze over white, and your vision projects itself into the darkness in front of you. It rushes down like a sudden drop of a roller coaster into the bottom of the ravine, and is rushed to the side, inside the warm interior of the wall on the western end of the ravine. Darting through a number of familiar tunnels, you find yourself back to the small village that was built by the Ravenites, through the central circular opening where the small fountain was, and you’re thrust into the tent where you first met Tooma. There you see upon the throne is Tooma with four guards around, currently draped over and asleep. Slowly snoring as her head droops.

MARISHA: What’s going on around her? Do people seem to be preparing for a battle?

MATT: You can’t really tell. You only have focus on her. You see very fuzzy things. There’s not a lot of action around that you can tell.

MARISHA: I’m going to do it again.

MATT: The scry finishes. Your fingers are now getting more cold.

MARISHA: I take the cloak and wrap it around as much as I can.

MATT: Putting your flame hands to warm yourself up a bit.

MARISHA: Now, I’m going to scry on that outside entrance to Vorugal’s lair.

MATT: Well, Vorugal’s lair is in the open of the ravine. It’s a little ways up.

LAURA: Yeah, remember, it’s that raised ice platform.

MATT: Where you guys are up on top, it goes down into the ravine, and the ravine curls through and splits off in different directions. In the center of where a section of the ravine forks off, in the center there is that cluster of ice with all the spikes off it on top of the rubble of one of the central islands of Draconia. That’s where Vorugal is currently living.

MARISHA: Okay, because we were in there earlier, so can I scry on the location? Not trying to focus necessarily on Vorugal?

TALIESIN: There will be guards at the guard stations all around the outside.

MATT: Generally, a particular creature you can choose from. I can let you scry on the location, but I’ll have to make you roll for it.

LAURA: I think that’s dangerous.

MARISHA: Scrying on the dragon, or the location, or both?

LAURA: Both. Anything near Vorugal, I feel like it’s dangerous.

MARISHA: Not knowing could be more dangerous.

LAURA: Plus, Thordak has those scrying balls within the location.

MARISHA: Did Vorugal have any other allies? Do you remember some of the guards?

TALIESIN: Just the guards, and it’s not really allies at all. Everybody will turn the moment it looks–

MARISHA: All right. I abandon the campaign and go back inside.

MATT: Okay. Anything else you guys wish to do to prepare for the evening, before the morning comes?

SAM: Oh, I’m going to try to load the gun.

MATT: Okay. Make a dexterity check. Add your dexterity modifier to a d20 roll.

SAM: 16.

MATT: 16. You take a moment and take one of the pistols. The little barrel clicks out, and you go, “Oh!” You take–

TALIESIN: That’s your dex save, not your dex modifier.

SAM: Oh! Thank you. 11.

MATT: 11? You’ve seen Percy load a bunch, so you go and take this small bit of powder, put it in, put the bullet inside. It slides in, and it seems fine.

SAM: Okay. That’s it. Holstered.

MATT: All right. Anything else, guys?

TALIESIN: I have to sleep it off. I feel terrible, so I’m just going to sleep.

MARISHA: Where exactly are we going to– Do we have a plan on dropping this beast?

TALIESIN: We’re going to tell Tooma to tell the dragon that they’ve found something to kill, and take him out into the wastelands where we’re going to release it.

MARISHA: Should we go try and talk to Tooma now?

TALIESIN: We could send, I would say, Vax–

LAURA: I think Scanlan, Polymorphed, something very teeny.

SAM: What’s going on? Are we going to go talk to Tooma?

LAURA: And let her know the plan of releasing–

TRAVIS: If you leave the safety of the mansion, you have the chance of being ambushed at any time by a fucking dragon.

SAM: Can we all go as a group tomorrow? No?

LAURA: No, we can’t wander on down into Vorugal’s territory.

SAM: How far are we from Tooma?

TALIESIN: Very close.

LAURA: That’s why I said, if you Polymorph into a teeny, flying bug–

MARISHA: Fly there. I can Polymorph you.

LIAM: You can be invisible, as well, and I’m very sneaky.

SAM: You could fly.

LAURA: Dragons see a lot. A lot.

LIAM: Well, the dragon would know if I was really a mouse or not, though, as well.

SAM: We’re not going near the dragon. We’re going to see Tooma.

LAURA: Pretty close to the dragon.

MARISHA: Yeah, in the same area.

MATT: Maybe a half- to quarter-mile away from the entrance to Tooma’s area.

LIAM: Got that Dust of Tracelessness?

SAM: We could fly in as little birds or something. Stay low in the ravines, out of sight.

LIAM: I don’t know how to un-Polymorph myself. One of us has to talk, and you’ll do the talking, yeah?

MARISHA: I can drop Polymorph as long as you guys keep me in contact with the earpieces.

SAM: We’ll be out of range.

MARISHA: Then I don’t know.

LIAM: Hit us with the Dust of Tracelessness. You turn invisible. We’ll hoof it.

SAM: Sure.

LIAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: All of us?

TALIESIN: No, just them. If they run into a problem–

LIAM: We’re shit out of luck.

MARISHA: Are the earpieces going to stay in range?

LIAM: Not in a quarter-mile.

LAURA: Be safe. This is dangerous.

SAM: All right.

MATT: They don’t work from within the mansion to outside the mansion. It’s a different plane of existence, technically.

MARISHA: Then I’m going to go Minxie form, my white snow-tiger, and I will stay within earshot range so that way if anything goes bad, I can alert the rest of the group.

LAURA: How are you going to stay in earshot?

MARISHA: Earpieces.

LAURA: Just from the top of the cavern?

MARISHA: I’ll follow as close as I can.

LIAM: With Dust of Tracelessness.

TALIESIN: Should be fine.

LIAM: Hit us, Grog.

MARISHA: Let’s go without having some sort of–

TRAVIS: You know, the Dust of Tracelessness you sprinkle behind you.

MATT: Yeah, it gets rid of tracks. Makes you harder to track.

LAURA: I can cast Past Without a Trace on you.

SAM: I can make us both invisible, so we’ll be plenty stealthy.

TRAVIS: And real quick, we’ve got to tell Tooma that we’re coming? You don’t think if we start attacking her dragon, she’ll be like, “Oh! It’s those fucks from two weeks ago!”

TALIESIN: We’re not attacking the dragon.

LAURA: That’s true. If we bust out the thing and then–

SAM: No, but they need their people all ready to attack.

LIAM: We want them to know to stay clear, to not attack this thing if they can help it.

SAM: Also, they might be able to tell us where we should release the beast.

MARISHA: Yeah, they would know. They’ve been tracking down animals for it to hunt for a while.

LIAM: It’s a worthwhile risk.

MARISHA: They have to tell him where to find it.

MATT: You’re going there right now?

LIAM: Yeah, gather up. You, Scanlan, here.

LAURA: I don’t know if Pass Without a Trace works if I’m not near you.

MARISHA: I think you have to cast it on yourself.

SAM: We’ll be invisible. It’ll be fine. We’re the best in the business. We walked around here completely without any stealth protection last time. We did fine, and we didn’t even know anything about the culture or the people.

LAURA: Yeah, but there was no dragon last time.

MARISHA: I can enhance one of y'all’s abilities so you have advantage on rolls for a stat. I can do that to one of you.

SAM: Maybe you should enhance my stealth ability.

MARISHA: That’s what I was thinking. I’m going to cast Enhance Ability, and that’s a dex ability, the Cat’s Grace or whatever it was? Cat’s Grace on Scanlan. I’m going to turn into Minxie.

LIAM: Can I do the same? Does that stuff stack, or no? I could cast Bless, do the same thing, help with saves and–

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: All right, I Bless the three of us.

SAM: Oh, thanks. I will give us both Invisibility, level three Invisibility.

MATT: Okay. Both of you go invisible. You turn Minxie. What are you doing?

MARISHA: I’m going to stealth as far behind them as I can.

MATT: You guys are all stealthing along the top of the ravine?

SAM: Yeah. The top of the ravine? In the ravine, right?

MATT: How are you getting down?

SAM: Oh. Oh, it’s steep?

MATT: It’s a cliff. It’s the Grand Canyon.

LIAM: I shoot out the wings, and I glide Scanlan and I invisibly down to the bottom.

MATT: Okay. You guys disappear down into the ravine. You lose eye contact with them once they’re outside of 120 feet of you.

MARISHA: I’ll stalk the top of the ravine and keep an ear open.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: And keep an eye out for anything that looks horrifying and bad.

MATT: Okay. Make a–

SAM: Horrifying check.

MATT: Make a perception check.

SAM: Who, us? Her? Everyone?

MATT: Either of you.

SAM: 16.

LIAM: Perception, you said? 22.

MATT: 22. All right. You glide down, and it takes you a moment, but you do, over the next 30 minutes or so it takes you to finally find the area that’s familiar to you in this dark, that is where you guys previously were. You’re having to look around for quite a bit, and it’s a lot of having to go back up again and glide around. It’s a big space, and in the dark, in the middle of the night, it’s very difficult for you to figure out any sign of where you previously tread. You do manage to find it, but you’re now looking at– how long does Invisibility last?

SAM: One hour.

MATT: Okay, so you guys are about halfway through Invisibility’s functionality.

LIAM: And halfway through flying.

MATT: Marisha, make a survival wilderness check.

LAURA: I want to sit on the door.

MATT: A stoop?

MARISHA: What do I use? Just nature?

MATT: This is wisdom survival.

MARISHA: 15.

MATT: Okay. Best you can, you begin to follow the edge of the ravine and try and do your best, remembering the path of the ravine based on where you were previously and taking in what sort of outcroppings and structures were familiar to you. You think you may have found, over time, something near the entrance. You’re not sure. Best you can do right now. You guys eventually find the entrance where you were led in by the rest of the Ravenites. You zip through, and it begins to open up into the subterranean town, if you will. It is very quiet. There are a few walking, appear to be sentries, haphazardly armed and armored. But it seems like the majority of those here are sleeping.

LIAM: Whatever we do, we don’t want to scare the shit out of everybody and get attacked.

SAM: No. Should we become visible, or wait until we get right up next to Tooma and then become visible?

LIAM: I think we go visible now.

SAM: All right. Okay, yes, let’s do it. I’ll drop Invisibility.

MATT: Both of you guys appear. Do you begin to walk toward the central–

SAM: Yeah, so is anyone awake?

LIAM: No, we just hear quiet underground.

MATT: It’s a quiet, underground tunnel with a bunch of huts and tents and small abodes that are all silent. There are two wandering sentries that are armored. As soon as you begin walking through, they both turn and look, and see you.

SAM: Hi. Hello.

MATT: Spears out.

SAM: It’s fine. Yes, we’re friends of Tooma. We’ve come to parlay.

MATT: “Put your weapons down.”

SAM: I have no weapons. I play fiddles.

MATT: “I see a sword at your side.”

SAM: Would you like me to drop it to the floor?

MATT: “Yes.”

SAM: All right. Well, I’m already being asked to take off my belt.

MATT: “You, too.”

LIAM: All right.

SAM: We’re friends of Tooma. We have an important mission.

MATT: Persuasion check.

SAM: 22.

MATT: (Draconic words) The other guard walks off. There’s an awkward three-minute beat where he’s staring at both of you intently, with the spear out. Eventually the other guard comes back and talks back to him in a language you don’t understand. (Draconic words)

SAM: Oh yeah, we don’t speak this.

LAURA: I should’ve gone. I really should’ve gone.

MATT: “It is a strange hour to drop by, but Tooma will see you. Leave your weapons where they lay.”

LIAM: You’re going to take good care of them? You’re going to leave them there?

MATT: “They will stay where they lay.”

LIAM: All right.

MATT: “Come with us.” Both of them stand behind you guys, spears to your back, and nudge you to continue forward. You make your way to Tooma’s tent. The four guards inside are there, with their spears at the ready. Two of them have shields and they’re– not an aggressive stance, but definitely alert and making sure that you’re aware, by their physicality, that they’re paying attention to you and are ready to deal with anything you bring. Across the way, there’s a small fire in the center of the room, a small fire pit that is largely burned out now to small embers. The smell of smoke and sage is very prominent and strong in the room. Tooma, you can see, is now cupping a small goblet made of simple wood. You see steam rising off of it, and she’s sipping.

LIAM: I’ll leave this up to you, Mr. Reynolds.

SAM: Lady Tooma, sorry to wake you out of your slumber.

MATT: “It is a very strange hour.”

SAM: Well, where we come from, it’s a totally different time. We’ve come to complete our promise to you. The fact that we are here should give you at least some confidence that we are men of our words.

MATT: “Aye, it was close.”

SAM: As a show of good faith, could you please instruct your guards to go get our weapons and bring them close to us? Not for any use, we just want them close by.

MATT: “You are not among enemies. Your weapons will stay where they are while we speak.”

SAM: We really would like them close to us.

MATT: “Then you should leave.”

SAM: All right. Then we’ll leave, and the dragon will torment your people forever.

MATT: “That is your choice.”

LIAM: We came with a whole fucking plan. Do you want to hear about it?

MATT: “I would love to hear about it, but I do not talk to people who stumble into my home before the sun rises with weapons and arms at their side.”

SAM: We are not trying to have weapons by our side, we want them close at hand. I don’t trust them with people I don’t know.

MATT: “They will not be touched! Everyone is sleeping, foolish gnome.”

LIAM: We came to report, and we’ll get out of here, all right?

SAM: Here’s the plan. We’ll be quick so you can get back to sleep. Tomorrow morning, we’re going to release a beast that will, we hope, lure the dragon out of its lair. We want you and your people at the ready to attack. Can that be done?

MATT: “That can be done, yes.”

SAM: And where would you recommend we release this beast?

MATT: Her eyes curl up with a slight, slick sound of older, not-as-moisturized lizard eyes. You see these eyelids click across as she thinks. “Across, to the northern side of the ravine, the ramp leads up. Up that ramp, you will see a circle of stones, a hundred feet across. That should suffice.”

SAM: Insight check.

MATT: Make it.

SAM: 16.

MATT: 16?

SAM: I get a whisper! Who will talk about Loot Crate?

LIAM: Man, so many good things about Loot Crate.

TRAVIS: It’s a horror theme this month, you guys. Friday the 13th. Halloween. Nightmare on Elm Street. Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

TALIESIN: I’m a Halloween fan, myself.

SAM: Is there any particular time that the dragon would be hungry for a hunt?

MATT: “The dragon is always hungry for a hunt. It’s hungry now, I’m sure.”

SAM: And once this hunt happens, and hopefully weakens the dragon, will you be ready to pounce?

MATT: “We will be ready.”

SAM: All right. How do we get word to you that we’re in position?

MATT: “We’ll be ready.”

SAM: Okay. Anything else?

LIAM: The thing we’re going to release is gnarly, so give it a little bit of space.

MATT: “I will tell my men.”

LIAM: All right, good chat. Scanlan, want to head back to the pad?

SAM: Unless you’d like to talk about anything else tonight?

MATT: “Please, leave me.”

SAM: Not a morning person? Evening person?

LIAM: Hey, let’s go get our shit and get out of here.

SAM: All right.

LIAM: I grab him by the scruff of the neck and start pulling him out of the room.

MATT: You guys leave the tent, make your way back. Your weapons are right where you dropped them.

SAM: (hyperventilating)

LIAM: I’m so sorry, Simon. I should never have left you in there. Love you.

MATT: You make your way out toward where the cavern opens into the ravine itself. The snow is still a good foot and a half up now, up the ravine. What do you guys do?

LIAM: How long has it been since I bamfed out the wings? An hour?

MATT: I’d say it’s getting pretty close. You’re not quite sure of the exact time.

LIAM: Start going up toward the ridge.

SAM: I hope this doesn’t make us fall!

MATT: All right. You take the wind, the cold wind hitting the wings. Even though they’re an extension of the armor, you feel this twinge of cold hit you. Thankfully you have your resistance up, so it’s helping with that.

SAM: One more Invisibility for both of us.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: That’s important.

MATT: Thank you for noting that.

LIAM: This is intense.

TRAVIS: (laughing) His hand was like, all right.

MATT: All right. You guys invisibly coast up through the ravine.

TRAVIS: Did you hear the garment of the reaper as he walked past you?

(laughter)

TRAVIS: “Thank you for noting that.”

MATT: Making your way up onto the top of the cliffside, into a soft bank of snow. Keyleth, you do hear the (soft impact) of several footfalls maybe 40 feet to the left of you. You look over to see an indentation in the snow.

MARISHA: I start pacing that way, assuming it’s them.

MATT: You guys watch Minxie emerge from the darkness and snow.

MARISHA: (meows)

SAM: Hi, Random Cat Who Is Definitely Supposed To Be Part of This Landscape. Let’s go.

MARISHA: I got this form from being in the mountains of my hometown, so yes.

MATT: You hear, (nonsense meowing).

(laughter)

SAM: Can we ride?

LIAM: Yeah, can we get a lift?

SAM: I can, probably. I’m little.

MATT: You both could ride Minxie.

LIAM: You’re massive, aren’t you?

MARISHA: They can ride me? I’m that big?

MATT: I mean, not full, but they could both be on your back and you’d be like, (strained noises). You could carry them along.

MARISHA: (strained noises) Back hurts. Come on.

MATT: You eventually bring them back to the outside of the door, with Vex waiting for you on the stoop. You guys make your way into the warm interior of Scanlan’s mansion, where Kima is currently de-armored and snoring, leaning against the foyer wall. You guys prepare yourselves for an evening’s rest, for tomorrow, you battle one, possibly two dragons. And that’s where we’re going to leave the session for tonight. We’ll be back here next week for whatever this chaos is going to be.

SAM: Are you ready to rumble?!

MATT: We’ve got Yenk the goristro coming in versus Vorugal, the Frigid Doom, versus Raishan, the Diseased Deceiver.

LAURA: The Diseased–?

MATT: The Diseased Deceiver.

MARISHA: The Diseased Deceiver! Well, I’m going to write that down.

TALIESIN: Nothing is going to go wrong. Everything is great.

TRAVIS: And we set ourselves up for it.

SAM: I think we’ve got a really solid plan.

LIAM: Two massive enemies.

TALIESIN: And an army.

SAM: Also, there’s a really good chance that I won’t be able to summon that thing, and then we’ll have to improvise.

LAURA: Oh god, I didn’t think about that.

MATT: Don’t roll low. Don’t roll low, Sam. Please don’t roll low. That would be so bad.

SAM: Or so great!

MATT: Or so great.

MARISHA: Can I use Enhance Ability to help him out with his spellcasting?

SAM: The thing has a DC. A very high DC.

MATT: You’re probably pretty good because you have a high enough charisma. For you, Enhance Ability, let’s see.

LAURA: Can you inspire yourself when you’re casting a spell?

SAM: I don’t know, can I?

MATT: Let me look at the rules for this. It should say on the scroll. What do you have to roll?

SAM: I didn’t bring any of my stuff tonight.

MATT: Actually, Enhance Ability might help with that. It does give advantage on checks to the specific ability, which would be charisma. So it would be Eagle’s Splendor, you would get advantage on charisma checks.

SAM: Eagle’s Splendor?

MARISHA: Yeah, they’ve got fancy names for each one, like Cat’s Grace, Eagle’s Splendor.

MATT: So in theory, that could help. We’ll define it more. I’ll look at the scroll I wrote up, look at the rule, make sure we confirm that before next episode, but yes. That is probably a possibility. And if this is an ability check, you could also inspire yourself with a d12.

MARISHA: Honey badger Spock, is that what you just said?

MATT: Anyway, start thinking how you’re going to handle this next week, guys. You’ve got a week to pull this together.

MARISHA: Yeah, we can talk this time!

LIAM: Sure. We’re in the mansion.

MATT: Yeah, you guys are having a whole night where you can work this out.

TALIESIN: Yeah, and I’m annoyed that I know what that perception check was about, and that Percy doesn’t know. It really annoys me.

MATT: You don’t know.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I do.

MATT: Anyway, guys, well done. Great game tonight. Thank you guys for watching. We’ll be back here next week, on Thursday. Is it Thursday yet?

[music]