Transcript:Talks Machina 10: Deadly Echoes

Thanks to fanmade CR transcript!

After Dark
BRIAN: So I said “I don't have a sister” and they said “that's her” and I said “I've never seen her in my life”–Welcome back! I'm sitting here with the same guests.

BRIAN: Question for Critical Role team: once all of the Chroma Conclave have been killed, will there be a photo on the website of all the busts with the team underneath them? I would like that as a screensaver.

TALIESIN: There will be the busts with the team over them

TRAVIS: Thordak looks amazing

MATT: Thordak glows from the mouth

BRIAN: Four have come in?

TRAVIS: That was quick

TALIESIN: He's got a remote

MATT: Yeah, we'll eventually do that

BRIAN: (messes up name) This print is quite small and I am very old. Any tips on new accents? Valley girl and cockney are the only two I've got

MATT: From a pro standpoint, there's IPA

TALIESIN: Which is great

MATT: Good standard way to learn any dialect once you learn the basic structure

MARISHA: You can't recognize IPA> It's like learning a new language.

MATT: If you're more of an ear-learner like I am, there's the IDEA website that has a collection of audio files of people all across the world organized by country, region, even city and you select areas and have examples of people you can just listen to (ed. http://www.dialectsarchive.com/dialects-accents)

TALIESIN: And the things they do on the clips that's cool is they do an interview, men women different ages, then a paragraph about rainbows that has every —

MARISHA: (Marisha quotes some)

TALIESIN: every sound combination possible

MATT: Every audio file begins with the same dry British man reading (passage) You'll get used to it

TRAVIS: I always like watching Trainspotting. Just watch it twice in a row

TALIESIN: There's also accents for actors, nice table book. I have an app. If you want a clean British accent, RP accent – no one is born with it, you learn it in school – there's an app even Brits download to refine their accent that teaches you how to be posh. BBC worldwide, this is Kris Kristoffeson

BRIAN: He's reporting for the BBC!

BRIAN: Travis, each member of VM has gone through some highs and some lows. What event including prestream has had the biggest impact on Grog and his relationships in the game?

TRAVIS: Jesus ,what event has had the most impact?

MARISHA: Dem titties

TRAVIS: Hard to beat dem tittays

TRAVIS: Probably pulling Craven Edge away against his will, even after him dying

TRAVIS: They're like he's gonna use that against us but they're all it's going to kill you – and I wanted to use it against Kevdak. From a char perspective, it really meant they care. With the herd, they didn't give a shit. “Where's Greg?” “Oh, he's gone. Moving on.” I think Craven Edge was pretty big

TALIESIN: I still imagine you at night like Feivel at your window “Somewhere out there”

ALL: Sooooomewheeeeeeeere….ouuuuuuuuut theeeeeeeereeeee..

TRAVIS: Then I hear somewhere across the plains…

MATT: “Someone feeds me more souls”

TALIESIN: This is what we do all day

BRIAN: We need VM the musical.

BRIAN: Brian, what's your favorite NPC?

BRIAN: Gilmore, dude. I love that shit. Plus if he were real, I might try to kiss him

MATT: You might?

BRIAN: He dresses really well.

MATT: He also smells really good.

BRIAN: If Percy didn't give the jug he had to Allura, what would she have traded or done to Grog?

MATT: I don't know, she probably would've froze the water. She was trying not to burn a spell. She would've just been pfft, look, we're fine. Some people were like that's Matt pushing them along, but no that was Allura

ALLURA: Ah, it's been awhile since I've done this….hmmm…You're all taking too long

TRAVIS: I think Grog responds to women with a firm hand. He'll mess around with guys and try and rip them off, but you get one mom look and “I'm sorry”

BRIAN: Strength responds to strength.

BRIAN: Marisha, you said you once thought about giving Keyleth a point in Barb. What do you think would push Keylet over the edge?

TRAVIS: I didn't know this!

MARISHA: I didn't tell you?

TRAVIS: No!

MARISHA: Remember all our talks? There was a time where I was waiting to see what played out, like if something went terribly wrong. One of the things angry in Keyleth is that she was never really told how bad and horrible the world can be so she went off thinking it was magical wonderland and it's not

MARISHA: Then, hearing from my friend Grog, the little anime speech, she still has her humanity first ,so she started pulling out of that anger, and it didn't go that way. It could still, ‘cause she still has a ton to learn about the world, but it depends how much the world shits on her. Right now she has a strong enough support group that she's trying to pull back out of her anger

TRAVIS: Everything's a lie

MARISHA: It would take a lot. If she runs into her mom again. I've thought about that a lot. If Keyleth found her mom alive and well, she'd be like “Ohmygod you're alive! …What the fuck?!” She'd be angry about that. It's tough.

TALIESIN: So many parental issues in this group, ever noticed that?

MATT: That's D&D

MATT: Most dangerous thing to be in D&D is a parent. You're either dead or you've broken enough people – having a kid is the scariest thing in a D&D game

TRAVIS: That's a challenge. Our next characters will have perfect parent relationships

(All talking at once)

TALIESIN: It's too late for my next character, he's fucked

BRIAN: If Percy ran into a goblin engineer who claimed his grandfather invented black powder, would he be amused, aghast, or curious?

TALIESIN: He would very irritated. He would want to try to confirm that information and would probably end up shooting him. It would not end well. He does not like the notion that anyone else would go in this direction. It would not end well. He's way too snobbish and frightened.

MARISHA: You're like the pandora's box of people.

TALIESIN: So many issues. So many issues. Not healthy.

BRIAN:  Running theme tonight.

BRIAN: Matt, the chasm and the bridge–the book Travis didn't read. If any characters had ended up in the undead reverse gravity pit of despair–

TALIESIN: WElCOME TO THE PIT OF DESPAIR! DON'T EVEN THINK (hack, cough) Don't even think about trying to escape.

BRIAN: Say the characters ended up in the pit of despair, would there have been a way to get them back?

MATT: For each round staying down there, it would have been a harder and harder DC strength check to escape from the mass

MATT: If Pike had been caught, she's stronger than a lot of members of the party. If Vex had been caught with low Strength, someone would have had to go down there and that person in turn would be put in danger of being grabbed. Was gonna take it as it happened, but the longer they were in there…

TALIESIN: Pike would've been fine. She has that point-one blast.

MATT: She's got one more Channel Divinity…

TALIESIN: I mean the fiery blast from the vestige from falling to 0 hp

MATT: She has that, but she also has Destroy Undead which would have cleared out a wide area which would allow them to escape. Ah, Clerics. Clerics are awesome

BRIAN: Do you think Raishan heard all the commotions you made on your approach?

TALIESIN: Yes

TRAVIS: We were just making everything activate

BRIAN: There was an explosion

MARISHA: I'm sure she has her dragon senses that were tingling

TALIESIN: It would be foolish to expect surprise

TRAVIS: She's got some NEST cameras up in the house, CCTV

BRIAN: By the way, neat Tom Waits reference this week

TALIESIN: (Taliesin impersonates Tom Waits)

BRIAN: When you made the reference, I was like “Yes, Tom Waits reference”, then we ended up in the chat –

TALIESIN: (something something Step Right Up)

TALIESIN: One of my favorite Tom Waits quotes

BRIAN: Mine is “I'd rather a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”

BRIAN: We must have driven everyone insane

TALIESIN: Is that actually his?

BRIAN: That is his

BRIAN: Question for Brian–nope, I'm not important. You know I have two favorite people – arsqueeef and gummibearwookie. Gummibearwookie asks: who's going to bite the bullet and take a level of Architect to get through doors?

TALIESIN: We need a “Please Stand By” image of all of us stuck in a door. Pushing on a pull door

TRAVIS: Is that a real thing? Is there a level in architect?

MARISHA: It's a new class called the Artificer

MATT: They're making a joke about an architect. Artificers are specialists in items and artifacts.

TALIESIN: Not a gunslinger

BRIAN: Have you thought about the ultimate door that will end the Vox Machina campaign? Like you had everything planned out, but you have to change it because you have to make it one massive door

TALIESIN: Just gonna end like Time Bandits, with a toaster and we touch it and we die

MATT: Vox Machina, don't touch it! It's evil – (explosion noise)

BRIAN: If you guys get a real shot to kill Raishan this week, will you try to steal the kill from someone else so you get that dragon plushie from the Critmas periscope?

MARISHA: I don't know how I would steal…

TRAVIS: You answer that honestly

MARISHA: It's not like it's an RPG MMO where we have to tag it first. I don't control that

MATT: The final blow, no, but the instructions per those specific small plushies, they were to be given to each person who got the final kill

MARISHA: But…but…but..

BRIAN: This person is telling you to steal the kill shot

MARISHA: I can steal the dragon easier than I can steal the kill shot. It's in my living room right now. I can hide it and no one will ever find it.

MATT: She can beat..most of us

TALIESIN: You technically have more combat training than easily 70% of this group. That's terrifying. Not thinking about that anymore

BRIAN: Is Tarvis Wellingrod your porn name?

TRAVIS: My porn name is Vagina Thrillswim, which is all the letters of my name rearranged

All: WHAT?

TRAVIS: Yeah, it's all the letters

BRIAN: Why is your PSN name not that?!

TRAVIS: What a missed opportunity!

BRIAN: You used Tarvis Wellingrod for a one shot, right?

TRAVIS: Tarvis

BRIAN: Where'd you get that nickname?

TRAVIS: I don't remember. Is it you?! (ed. It was Liam)

BRIAN: We went to a con 7-8 years ago and I gave your name at check-in and they said they didn't have anything so then I asked for “Tarvis Wellingrod” and she wouldn't tell me, so I left a note for Tarvis Wellingrod

TRAVIS: I forgot. I knew it had your stank on it

BRIAN: Vagina Thrillswim? I'm so mad I picked my D&D character already

MATT: That's a Barbarella character!

TALIESIN: She has a Loknarr!

BRIAN: If Grog stumbles upon headband of intellect, will he turn evil?

TRAVIS: Probably. If he all of a sudden knows everything he's never known and realizes all the things he's had denied, results wouldn't be great

TALIESIN: The minute he understands the concept of evil, we're fucked

MARISHA: Ignorance is bliss

TRAVIS: Indeed, so is froyo

MARISHA: Oooh, I know where we're all going after this

BRIAN: Yeah, we can all go to Pinkberry

ALL: (looks of disgust from Matt and Marisha)

BRIAN: Final question. Can you ask Taliesin to sing Pure Imagination?

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, do it!

TALIESIN: (Taliesin sings Pure Imagination)

ALL: (Join in)

ALL: (Applause)

TALIESIN: We have a Signal Boost thing and now that joke is ruined

BRIAN: This is on Alpha nobody saw it

BRIAN: (wrap up)