Transcript:Chasing Nightmares

List of Transcripts

Pre-Show
MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

ALL: (hollering) We play Dungeons & Dragons!

MATT: Before we get into our game tonight, we do have some announcements to get through, beginning with our first sponsor of the night, Skillshare. Sam, if you don't mind.

ALL: (whispering) Skillshare. (somber guitar music)

ASHLEY and TALIESIN: Oh wow!

SAM: Hi. You got a second? (laughter) Okay. You remember when you were younger, how I would do all these super zany ad bits as Rode Slater or Bob Matthews, Dave Matthews' younger brother, or BlackWillow69@aol.com, and everyone was like, "Man, Sam's so funny, so original, objectively the handsomest member of Critical Role." Then one day I was like, "Oh hey, guess what? Big news, I'm not going to be in the ads anymore. This is Travis, he's the new hacker guy." And my chauffer drove me away and we didn't see each other in the ads for a very long time. Well, I left to study at SkillShare.com-- (laughter)

SAM: -- an online learning community--

MARISHA: Oh my god.

SAM: -- with thousands of inspiring classes for creative and curious people. Skillshare offers classes designed for real life and all the circumstances that come with it, including graphic design, creative writing, and music, or even Intro to Calligraphy.

LAURA: It's upside down.

MARISHA: Looks the same both ways.

MATT: Yep.

SAM: Can we just talk about that? Great. Because that was really abrupt. I mean, suddenly I wasn't doing the ads, I was studying wheel pottery and ceramics. (laughter) And that was really challenging, by the way, but also really great because with memberships starting as low as $10 a month with an annual subscription, Skillshare is a great way to learn and unlock your creativity for social good. Because, like, we started out with "I'm a cat" skits, and now we have student loans, and families, and jobs, and the howling void of existential oblivion, and special offers, like the first 1,000 Critters to join Skillshare by following this link on your screen will get a free trial premium membership. You know? I know you do. I guess I just wanted to say that after all these years--

MARISHA: It's been like a week.

SAM: After all these years being gone from the ads while I was using Skillshare to learn Minimalist Interior Design.

LAURA: Oh wow.

SAM: I never forgot you. Ever. And I'm super glad we're still friends. Thanks for listening. Matt, Blue's Clues to you. (laughter)

MATT: That was well done.

TALIESIN: Holy--

TRAVIS: Wow!

MATT: That was well done. I got a little--

ASHLEY: Why did you have to leave to do an online thing?

TRAVIS: Where was that vase? Where were you hiding the vase?

ASHLEY: In the comfort of your own home. Isn't that the thing?

SAM: I guess I could've done it from here. (laughter)

LIAM: That is the clearest the actual ad copy has ever been.

ASHLEY: It really was amazing. Skillshare's actually pretty dope, guys.

MATT: It was so well done, I got really close to fully puckering. (laughter) It was... Thank you, Sam. And thank you, Skillshare, for this heartfelt moment with Sam. And to our second sponsor, Forteller Games with Fabler. This episode by-- Actually, I should say, this Fabler, which is the tool for game masters to power and amplify their games with professionally composed music, ambience, and sound effects. It is awesome whether your players are exploring a dungeon, or tipping a local bard, enjoying some dwarven ale. Fabler gives you easy control over your scenes to keep the focus on your game and not the tool. Some fantastic features of the tool include a powerful search to instantly find the exact sound for the moment, pre-built collections themed to help jumpstart any campaign and they're always adding new assets to your growing library for you to explore. So start your three-day free trial by going over to bit.ly/getfabler and using code CRITROLE during checkout and get 25% off your first two months. Thank you so much for supporting the show, guys, and go check it out.

SAM: Always good to laugh at the URL of the sponsor.

MATT: Yeah, yeah. (laughter)

TRAVIS: She's out.

MATT: Yeah, she's gone. We'll come back to her later.

TRAVIS: It's a blue screen over here.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: We'll just cut that out. (laughter)

MATT: Also-- (laughter) Tal'Dorei Campaign Setting Reborn is available now! (cheering)

MATT: This gorgeous fifth edition source book features contributions from a huge team of talented artists, writers, and designers. We're so happy to finally share it with you all. We've been working on it for a while now. Check out Tal'Dorei Reborn in all Critical Role stores, as well as Darrington Press Guild stores and it's coming out in US game stores in a few weeks. But, for more information, check out DarringtonPress.com. I'm going to give another little show and tell here.

SAM: Show us!

LIAM: That read is fucking gorgeous.

ASHLEY: Give us a preview.

SAM: This is a real book that really exists.

MATT: It does. It's out now and it's awesome. So, over here we got, let's see. There's a blood magic tradition for wizards, so you can delve into some--

ASHLEY: Oh, that looks so cool!

MATT: -- Hemocraft as a wizard, which is fun. And I'll jump over here and see there's also-- Ooh, Circle of the Blighted Druid. Those who the fanes of their land have been--

MARISHA: What?

MATT: Where the land they've connected with has been corrupted over time, and as such, your features also have become corrupted.

TRAVIS: Oh!

MARISHA: Uh! That's cool.

MATT: Stuff like that.

SAM: That is cool.

MATT: So anyway, check it out. Hope you enjoy it. Laura, you got some stuff to talk about.

LAURA: Yes, I do. We have a store in Europe!

TRAVIS: It's always the best kick off.

LAURA: We have a store in Europe!

TRAVIS: Yeah!

LAURA: It's open!

TRAVIS: EU!

ALL: (chanting) EU! EU! EU! EU!

LAURA: Go and check it out at shop.critrole.eu.

SAM: Wow.

MATT: There we go. Thank you so much--

LAURA: There's stuff in it!

MATT: Yes.

LAURA: Okay, I'm done.

MATT: Cool, good job, Laura. Thank you.

LAURA: Thanks.

MATT: Marisha.

MARISHA: Hey, our final one-shot--

TRAVIS: Oh, good god.

MARISHA: -- unlocked during The Legend of Vox Machina Kickstarter campaign--

SAM: Hype, hype!

MARISHA: -- all those years ago airs next Thursday, January 27th at 7:00pm Pacific on Twitch and YouTube. This is the special Guest Battle Royale that's going to be GMed by our one, our only, Sam Riegel.

LIAM: Oh!

MARISHA: And of course, it features returning guest players, Anjali Bhimani, Darin De Paul, Will Friedle, Sumalee Montano, and ND Stevenson.

SAM: Yeah!

MARISHA: It's great. You're not going to want to miss it.

SAM: Check it out. I survived my GMing experience.

MARISHA: You did so good.

SAM: Yes, thank you. Well.

TRAVIS: Unfortunately.

SAM: Also, next Friday-- (laughter) Next Friday, January 28th, a little thing is happening. The first three episodes of The Legend of Vox Machina will premiere worldwide. (cheering) Only on Prime Video. New episodes will air weekly with the finale airing on February 18th. Every Tuesday following each release, we're going to host a watch party for all of the new episodes.

MARISHA: That's right.

SAM: Right here on our Twitch, with a few members of the cast, special guests, and our wonderful moderator, Mica Burton. (whooping)

SAM: Yes, it's exciting. These streams will use Twitch's Watch Parties feature, so folks with a Prime Video subscription can watch right along with us during the stream. To learn how to join, check out our article on CritRole.com. And tune in to our first watch party on Tuesday, February 1st at 7:00pm Pacific. It's happening, guys.

MARISHA: You nailed it.

ASHLEY: It's happening, it's happening.

MATT: Cannot wait.

MARISHA: We did it. Yes, you did it.

MATT: Oh man, okay.

TALIESIN: (groans)

TRAVIS: The eve of.

MATT: I know, it's wild. Hope you folks enjoy. We've worked really hard on it for a very long time and we're really proud of it and we think you might like it, so check it out, please.

LAURA: Long live Vox Machina! (cheering)

MARISHA: Yay, Vox Machine-a.

MATT: MA-keen-A. And with that, I think it's time to go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role.

♪ Critical ♪ ♪ Critical ♪ ♪ It's Thursday ♪ ♪ It's Thursday night! ♪

ASHLEY: ♪ One-by-one, we climb until we reach the top. ♪ ♪ Two-by-two, we fall. ♪

LAURA: ♪ Will we meet our end or meet our destiny? ♪ ♪ Hold your breath and roll! ♪

MATT: How do you want to do this?

ALL: ♪ It's Thursday night ♪ ♪ All ye Critters, come join us ♪ ♪ It's time to continue our plight ♪ ♪ There is magic and mystery ♪ ♪ Who knows what will happen? ♪ ♪ He might! ♪ ♪ But one thing's for sure, ♪ ♪ We never give up on the fight! ♪

TRAVIS: ♪ From the healer ♪

LIAM: ♪ To the renegade ♪

MATT: ♪ We all share the same goal ♪

MATT and TALIESIN: ♪ Adding more allies ♪ ♪ Taking more chances ♪

SAM: ♪ Hold your breath and roll ♪

MARISHA: You can certainly try.

ALL: ♪ It's Thursday night ♪ ♪ All ye Critters, come join us ♪ ♪ It's time to continue our plight ♪ ♪ It's Thursday night. ♪ ♪ There is magic and mystery ♪ ♪ From darkness, our friendship will rise ♪ ♪ But one thing's for sure: ♪ ♪ We never give up on the fight ♪ ♪ Oh, get ready, ♪ ♪ Get ready, ♪ ♪ It's Thursday night! ♪

(flames whooshing)

Part I
MATT: And welcome back. So last we left off, our heroes had been on the trail of a certain Gurge Kisgregg. (snickers) A friend, patron-like character to this newcomer to the entourage, who had apparently been confiscated by some of the wardens, some of the Wilders of the city. Upon looking for information about it, you found that they were hunted by a bounty hunter named Artana Voe. Upon finding this bounty hunter, you discovered that she was hired by an individual named Vali, Vali Dertrana, who works in the Moon Tower higher up the Core Spire. Upon looking into this individual, this fine gnomish figure here, Chetney, snuck into it and barely escaped by smashing through the window. He managed to avoid being found that evening as you convinced most of the denizens of that hour that the place was haunted and, in that brief window before you heard they might be moving any sensitive and possibly important information or details in this space, you decided to go back in. You had discovered that there was some sort of odd hidden passageway within and heard conversation from below. So, while finishing a date with the chef, Pretty, you all reconvened and decided to, before the morning sun were to rise above and trigger what sort of relocation might transpire in the morning, you delved back into this burgled office and descended these hidden stairs into some sort of an odd workshop. Here in the center of it, you saw a large arcane contraption glowing blue with some sort of crystalline blue device in the center. You heard it whirring. In the center, you saw tables with strange devices and alchemical implements scattered about with sheets and papers. You saw bars that marked various alcoves in the side like small prison cells. In the distance across the way, you saw a man who was being held and there in the center of all this, an elongated, strange, spindly, humanoid-like figure, a male creature that had two arms and two legs of thin and long gaunt features, long fingernails, long fingers, a hairless, strange, pale, sallow head with no hair, black eyes, no nose, and a jack-o-lantern-like fanged smile, long, pointed ears that curled to the back. As he spun around on his stool and seemed to be aware of your presence as you arrived, "So." As I turn the lights to bring it to the proper mood. "What brings you all to my temporary workshop?"

TRAVIS: We're looking for a friend.

MATT: "Who?"

TRAVIS: Gurge?

MATT: "(cackles)"

TRAVIS: Huh?

MATT: "You have friends?"

LAURA: (whispered) It's Gurge.

MATT: "Surprising. Spending a bit of time with him, he's a bit of a, I don't know, a limp figure. But, if you say you're friends, I believe you.

TRAVIS: We are, and he's not the only friend I have. They're also my friends and there are more of my friends than you have, so you behave.

MATT: "Well then."

MARISHA: That's pretty good.

MATT: "If you say so, then behave I must. What are you all so worried about? I see tension in your brows. You came, you found your friend. Then, leave."

TRAVIS: As he's monologuing, can we check out what actually is behind him now, now that we're in here, in the room with him?

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: 16.

MATT: 16. You can see on the table behind him, there is a fist-sized piece of blue crystal that's giving off a faint blue glow, not unlike the device you see in the what is now to the right of you guys in the corner of the chamber. You can hear the low hum emitting from it and the occasional (crackling) spark, Tesla-coil-type sound of arcane energy gathering and sparking in the center. Across the way, you can see there are all sorts of odd devices. You've seen alchemical contraptions. You've seen things that resemble elements used in the creation of small arcane devices. These are all are haphazardly put together in a way that feels alien, makeshift, but seemingly functional and everything has this grime to it. It looks corroded or like it's just been growing moss or mold on the edges and corners. You can see liquids bubbling slowly within. Across the way, you can indeed see that man in the cage. You can see the tossed hair as he holds onto the bars and stands up looking through and he's not making a sound, just watching in the shadow. You get the sense from the beard and the shaggy hair that this is likely Gurge and the acknowledgement from the figure upon your conversation.

TRAVIS: Gurge? How you doing?

MATT: "Great, can't ya tell? It's going great over here."

TRAVIS: Any other creatures in any other holding spaces next to him or behind him?

MATT: At the moment, you can't tell, not from this far away. You can see the bars and very little light in here aside from a couple of faint oil lanterns and the glow of the spark in the corner.

ASHLEY: Do we know how many cells there are in here?

MATT: At first glance, I'd say you could see three.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LAURA: How are we from the cells? We had just come down the steps, correct?

MATT: You had just come down the steps, so across the way. It's probably somewhere in the neighborhood of, at a guess, 60 to 80 feet from you.

LAURA: Oh gosh, okay.

MATT: To the right, maybe about 40 feet. It's about halfway across the chamber.

LIAM: Tall and Spindly is how far from us?

MATT: He's about 30, 25 feet from you.

LIAM: Oh good.

ROBBIE: Is spindly man obviously armed?

MATT: You don't see any weapons on him, no.

LAURA: Does he have clothes on?

MATT: He has clothes. (laughter)

ROBBIE: That's nice.

LAURA: I didn't know what to picture. I didn't know what to picture.

LIAM: He's got short pants and halter top.

MATT: Yeah. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Got great hips.

MATT: In ways, it looks like a tattered bit of formal gear. You can see there would have been tails dragging behind, but they're stripped into ribbons of five or six different strands. They just flow with an unseen, unfelt breeze.

LAURA: Do they look like they were made for his shape, or are they smaller than his limbs?

MATT: The sleeves are short on the arms, but they are form fit up until just past the elbow where they tend to bell a bit into similar tatters.

ASHLEY: Oh, what fashion.

MARISHA: It's tough for tall guys.

TRAVIS: Victorian harness.

LAURA: Yeah, I know, it's kind of cool.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MARISHA: Does he have a tiny hat? (laughter)

MATT: No. (laughter)

ROBBIE: No!

MATT: At least--

SAM: ♪ Hello, my baby, hello, my honey ♪

MATT: Not yet. (laughter)

LAURA: You just wait!

TRAVIS: ♪ Just you wait ♪

SAM: Matt, I was upstairs waiting so as not to be noisy, but hearing mumbles and talking, I'm going to start rolling down the steps.

MATT: "And even more of you come to discuss, interesting. So, what else besides your friend? This is a lot of people to just be seeking somebody who, let's be honest, doesn't seem to be making quite a large fan gallery."

LAURA: What are you planning to do to him?

MATT: "Him? Nothing. He's been very helpful."

ASHLEY: Helpful how?

MATT: "He, um-- He carries a very particular curse that my employer was eager to experiment with."

ASHLEY: Oh.

MARISHA: Your employer being Vali?

MATT: "Hmm. Vali is my overseer."

MARISHA: Oh. Is that? Is there something? Is that? I don't know the difference.

LAURA: Maybe they've got a--

TALIESIN: Middle man.

LAURA: A higher boss. Is--

MARISHA: I see.

LAURA: I don't want to give away too much.

TRAVIS: I'll do it. Are you the one they call The Nightmare King?

MATT: "(laughs)" As he laughs, a second tone joins it, and a third tone, an octave lower, and an octave higher that seems to fill the space for a moment. He turns back over and for a moment the eyes seem larger than they were before. The grin seems to stretch past the boundaries of the face. "In some spaces."

MARISHA: (gasps)

MATT: Before they draw back a bit.

MARISHA: Oh my goodness, it is a pleasure to meet you! I feel like I'm meeting a celebrity!

TRAVIS: Oh, I don't like it. Listen, Gurge is-- he's important to me, he owes me. I need him alive.

MATT: "Well, then you'll have to take it up with Armand when we're done."

TRAVIS: Armand? Who's Armand?

MATT: "Armand's the one footing the bills for this."

MARISHA: Oh, he's your employer.

MATT: "More or less."

MARISHA: So, are you Ira?

MATT: "I am."

TRAVIS: Oh!

MARISHA: Oh my goodness! Such a pleasure meeting you. I feel like we just killed two birds with one stone. Oh, fantastic.

MATT: "Well. Are we done here?"

TRAVIS: Well, I hate to rush your timeline, but how long do you think you might need my friend Gurge there for, another hour or so?

MATT: "Hmm. We have a few more weeks of work to get done on the timeline that I was given and I am a thorough worker."

TRAVIS: Oh, I'm sorry. I don't think that's going to work for us.

MATT: "Oh? Tell you what. This particular kind of work requires volunteers."

MARISHA: (giggles)

LAURA: No, Laudna.

MARISHA: Oh, what?

LAURA: Don't.

MARISHA: Nope, no.

TRAVIS: What kind of volunteer work? I'm listening.

MATT: "(sniffs)" With a sudden flash, he's leaned an additional five or six feet beyond the limits of the shoulders. The head seems to telescope outward a bit and he's leaned so far forward that that 20 or so foot distance has now been cut in half, but he's still sitting on the stool going towards you. "(sniffs)" You hear the sniffing sounds, but see no nostrils, no nose.

LAURA and TRAVIS: Ugh.

MATT: "Nothing you can help me with."

TRAVIS: Are you sure? While I was peeping all pervy-like, I heard you talking about him having a gift that he needed to share. What gift would be that be? I'll take my beanie off my head and unbutton my cloak.

TALIESIN: All right, this is getting weird now.

MATT: "Any other volunteers?"

TRAVIS: No, no, I think I'm the one you want to mess with. I spin a wood chisel and I use it to unlatch my leather harness and take my shirt and my tools off so now I'm all bare chested and flexing. (laughter)

MATT: "Oh! This one seems to be game for a different kind of encounter."

LIAM: Orym steps up behind Chetney and pulls the sword off of his back slowly.

MATT: "Well, this certainly makes it more abrupt. It's a shame. You all could have been very useful."

MARISHA: Well, you know, maybe if we just knew what your end goals were. What's the assignment? What do you need?

MATT: "Well, mainly just to sew a bit of chaos."

ASHLEY: Well, we can give you that.

MATT: "Oh. I've got it handled."

ASHLEY: I like this crystal. What's that?

LAURA: I'm going to cast Detect Thoughts.

MATT: You cast Detect Thoughts? Okay.

MARISHA: Come on, girl, come on.

TRAVIS: Is it brumestone?

TALIESIN: I think so.

MATT: Okay. You probe into the mind and you hear these growing whispers (whispers) and then this streakingly painful static that spikes into your mind.

TRAVIS: Oh!

MATT: All you hear is a voice in your head go, "Ah-ah-ah. No peeking." (aloud) "Well, this has been a fine conversation, but your approach leaves manners a bit lacking. You want to see what I'm working on?"

ASHLEY: Is Gurge a volunteer, or is he here as a prisoner?

MATT: "I wouldn't consider him a volunteer. Few seem to be eager to volunteer. It's frustrating." You hear the door at the top of the stairs (whooshing) shut.

SAM: Oh no.

MARISHA: Hello?

TALIESIN: Yeah, I saw that coming.

LAURA: Uh-oh.

MARISHA: I don't know.

TRAVIS: Do I know what this creature might be that's standing front of us? Do I have any idea? Go ahead and make an arcana check.

TRAVIS: Okay.

SAM: Arcana check.

TRAVIS: Can I make it--

MATT: You can make it with advantage.

TRAVIS: Okay. That's 16.

MATT: 16? Based on the features, based on the movements, based on the essence and presentation, the grace and the just the odd comfort in a very alien movement, there's something very strongly fey about this creature. (chuckling) You watch as he stands up from the stool. The knees that have been bent this whole time knocking together and standing up straight, this rail-thin being probably crests at about 10, 11 feet.

TRAVIS: Oh no.

LAURA: Oh god.

MATT: The arms drape down low, the fingers almost reaching the ground.

LIAM: Chetney and Orym.

TRAVIS: Yeah. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Chetney and Orym reach out and hold hands. (laughter)

ROBBIE: That's four of y'all.

MARISHA: Yeah!

MATT: The arm curls back towards the table behind him and three long, thin fingers just pluck the small glowing stone from the table.

ASHLEY: For me?

MATT: "No."

ASHLEY: Oh.

MATT: (small thud)

SAM: Oh.

MATT: Tosses it on the ground. It hits.

SAM: Oh.

MATT: (explosion) There is a wave of warm arcane energy that just flashes outward. Your eyes brightly try and hold back the flash. You pull back your arms and hold it at bay. For some of you, it's familiar, this strange burst of purple-bluish arcane energy and then it subsides. One leg steps back over the tables and he steps back behind it as you all begin to shake your vision clear, and the two tables in front of him (thudding steps)

SAM: Oh!

MATT: (thudding steps)

LAURA: (gasps)

ROBBIE: Oh, you motherfucker!

LAURA: This is dude! (yelling)

TALIESIN: I knew it!

MATT: Let's roll initiative. (cheering)

LAURA: Oh god!

SAM: Oh boy!

TALIESIN: Fucking knew it.

SAM: We found the furniture man.

LAURA: (groans)

LIAM: Rolled a one.

ROBBIE: (nervous noise)

TRAVIS: Not great, not great, not great, not great.

SAM: Ooh, look at this room.

LAURA: Okay, ooh!

MATT: All right, you all have been down in this space. You guys were near each other. Fresh Cut Grass is at the top of the steps, coming down the stairs there a bit. The rest of you--

LIAM: Fresh Cut is so cute.

MATT: Where had you been situated? The rest of you, tell me where on the steps you had been arranged.

TALIESIN: I had been probably scooting my way slowly towards the cage.

SAM: ♪ Scootin' my way! ♪

TALIESIN: So maybe-- (laughter)

MATT: Right here?

TALIESIN: Yeah, maybe right there.

TRAVIS: Like an all-eating amoeba.

LAURA: I would say, I would be-- I would be three steps up.

TALIESIN: I want it to leave my brain one day, I don't know what day that'll be.

MATT: Right there?

LAURA: No, still standing on the steps.

MATT: Oh, gotcha, so we'll say about there.

MARISHA: Yeah, I'll be next to Imogen.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Orym and I are up front, holding the front--

SAM: Holding hands.

TRAVIS: -- line.

MATT: Yeah, you guys would be probably about there, we'll say.

TALIESIN: We could certainly use your friend.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Okay. Dorian?

TRAVIS: Look at that intimidating--

ROBBIE: Yeah, I'd say mid-pack, probably. Yeah.

MATT: There?

ROBBIE: Oh, no, sorry. I'm sorry!

LIAM: Reroll.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I'm probably next to Dorian.

MATT: Okay, about there?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: All righty. Now, I didn't have a specific figure for the Nightmare King, but this'll give you an idea of the proportions of it. So I'll just use this boneclaw.

ASHLEY: Oh! (laughter) He's a big boy!

TRAVIS: No, Matt!

LAURA: I don't like him! I don't like him!

TRAVIS: He's large.

MATT: So--

ROBBIE: That ceiling's--

TRAVIS: Large!

ROBBIE: Large!

MATT: 25 to 20.

MARISHA: Uh-oh.

TRAVIS: Come on, guys!

ASHLEY: 20, 20.

SAM: Okay, okay, okay. We got a Fearne.

TRAVIS: My hand's shaking.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: 20 to 15?

LAURA: 19.

ROBBIE: 19.

MATT: 19, Dex?

TALIESIN: 15.

LAURA: Plus three.

ROBBIE: Plus three.

SAM and TRAVIS: Rollies!

MARISHA: Rollies!

ROBBIE: Let's go!

LAURA: Ready, one, two, three!

SAM: Standard Rollies?

ROBBIE: Three.

LAURA: 12.

SAM: Oh!

LAURA: Kind of cocked. I don't know if you want to count it.

LIAM: That's pretty twelvey.

ROBBIE: I'll take the L.

SAM: That's pretty twelvey. (laughter)

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: That's what I tell every 12-year-old.

TRAVIS: Fearne, Imogen, Dorian, Ashton.

SAM: You're acting kind of twelvey.

MATT: Ashton, you got it.

TALIESIN: You're right in there.

LAURA: Wait, wait, Ashton is after?

TALIESIN: After Dorian.

LAURA: Dorian, okay.

MATT: All right, 15 to 10.

LIAM: 11.

MARISHA: 11.

TRAVIS: 10!

TALIESIN: Hey!

MARISHA: Definitely.

LIAM: Yeah, no Rollies. (laughter)

ROBBIE: Not today.

TALIESIN: Who's first? (laughter)

TRAVIS: Orym, Laudna, Chetney.

LAURA: Ol' Chet.

LIAM: Chet?

TRAVIS: Then F.C.G.

SAM: Oh, I'm three.

MATT: All right. So, top of the combat round--

TRAVIS: Oh fuck.

MATT: As he finishes stepping over the table and these two tables here begin to lurch and moving forward, Fearne, what are you doing?

ASHLEY: Okay. How far, where's Gurge? Oh, he's back in there.

MATT: Way back there. You can start to see off to the side here, there's something moving within the cell over there, something long and green with many legs. (groaning)

MATT: But it is held.

TRAVIS: Fuck.

ASHLEY: Okay. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Oh boy, well, I'm going to try to-- I am going to send Mister, because I brought him--

MATT: You did, indeed, so Mister would be right over here with you.

ASHLEY: I'm going to try to send him as close to Gurge. I want him right up on the bars.

MATT: What's Mister's movement?

ASHLEY: It's probably not very much. Let me double check.

MATT: As a monkey.

ASHLEY: As a monkey.

TRAVIS: 30?

TALIESIN: 60?

TRAVIS: 90?

LAURA: I feel like this thing isn't coming for--

ASHLEY: Oh boy.

LAURA: You don't need a mind--

ASHLEY: I'm trying to find it.

LIAM: Yes, wisdom shields on high, for sure. Artagan will help.

ASHLEY: I don't know where to find that.

SAM: What you looking for?

MATT: If you go to his stats, it'll say speed. Usually on the upper-left.

TRAVIS: How long can Mercer hold his monkey?

ASHLEY: Why am I, how do I--

TRAVIS: How long before it escapes?

LIAM: Go to 5e monkey.

LAURA: It's escaped.

SAM: It's gone. (laughs)

MATT: And it's gone!

ASHLEY: It's probably 30 feet or something like that.

LIAM: 5e monkey.

ASHLEY: Yep. Thought I'd have this on. Sorry.

MATT: Wildfire Spirit should have its own speed for that stuff.

ASHLEY: Let's see, why am I--

LAURA: Wait, go back to it, that's the same as there. You had him up, Wildfire Spirit. Range.

ASHLEY: Oh, speed right here. No, that's his hit points.

TALIESIN: Vacation, vacation brain.

LAURA: Flame Seed is 60 feet.

SAM: Vacation brain? It's late January.

LAURA: ♪ It doesn't say. ♪

MATT: ♪ Wheedle ♪ (laughter)

LAURA: It doesn't say?

ASHLEY: It doesn't say.

TRAVIS: Thank you. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Wait, let me see here.

MARISHA: It's late January.

SAM: It's Thanksgiving somewhere.

MARISHA: It's not.

MATT: Speed of 30, and it can fly up to 30 feet, if you want to.

LAURA: Ooh, he can fly?

MATT: He can fly if you want to.

LAURA: ♪ He can fly! He can fly! ♪

MATT: Because he can just burst into flames and be a floating flame.

ASHLEY: Okay, so.

MATT: So moving there with one, 15, 20, 25, 30. He can get about there.

ASHLEY: But if he can somehow be hidden.

MATT: He can move half of that speed and try and stealth and not be a flame, which is hard to stealth. So you can have him go ahead and just roll stealth check on his end.

TRAVIS: "Not be a flame."

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: So go ahead and roll his his dexterity modifier onto his-- Which would be plus two, so roll d20, add two.

ASHLEY: Okay. 12.

MATT: Okay. (monkey chittering) And what are you doing?

ASHLEY: Okay, so for me, I am going to-- Jeez. Where did it go? I'm so sorry, this is-- Oh my god, this is freezing, I'm so sorry.

SAM: Never have Ashley go first again.

ASHLEY: I know!

ROBBIE: Set the pace!

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: "I rolled a natural 20." "No, you didn't!"

ASHLEY: Okay. (laughs) I am going to cast Flaming Sphere.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: Okay!

ASHLEY: Right at the table that is coming to life.

MATT: Right there?

ASHLEY: Just right in the middle of it.

MATT: It just erupts as the air (explodes) and this burning sphere of fire is now spinning in that space, catching flame around the wooden table in its space.

SAM: Yeah!

MATT: So as it arrives, the table has to make a dexterity saving throw, I believe. Which it-- That's a 10. It's a table. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Yeah, but an evil, malevolent table.

MATT: That's true.

ASHLEY: Sorry, guys, this was freezing on me.

SAM: Oh, blame the technology.

ASHLEY: I know.

TRAVIS: Blame the generic tablet! (laughter)

ASHLEY: It's not my fault, it's certainly not me that doesn't know how to play this game.

SAM: Come on! Fuck up that four-top.

MATT: You go ahead and roll, it is 2d6 fire damage.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: To the table.

ASHLEY: Eugh, five.

MATT: Five points of fire damage to that table. You got it.

LAURA: Woo! (claps) (laughter)

ASHLEY: Now I have--

SAM: 25 minutes.

ASHLEY: -- your page on my iPad.

LAURA: What is happening? She really does, I'm on her screen, instead of mine.

MATT: I don't know how that happened.

ASHLEY: I'll figure it out, I'll figure it out.

MATT: You cast the spell and you can move still, if you'd like to, or stay put, your call.

ASHLEY: Yeah, so I will move to-- I'm going to move behind that pole, kind of, right next to Mister, if I can.

MATT: All right. Right there?

ASHLEY: Yes, but just keep cover.

MARISHA: So we're for sure going to fight Spindly-Man, right?

LAURA: I think there's no way out, at this point.

MARISHA: We're definitely fighting Spindly-Man. I don't know, maybe if we kill the furniture first, then he'd be like, "Actually, you did pretty good. We're cool now."

SAM: Oh, it's a test?

MARISHA: Yeah!

LAURA: Maybe it's a test.

TRAVIS: Yeah, because he's a promoter. (laughter)

MATT: Well done, well done. We'll talk now.

ROBBIE: He's Nightmare Don King. That's it.

MATT: There you go. There it is, perfect. All right, does that finish your turn, Ashley?

ASHLEY: That finishes my turn.

MATT: All right, it is now, Ira Wendagoth's turn.

LAURA: Oh, Ira!

MATT: Who rolled really high on initiative.

TRAVIS: Shit.

MATT: Actually rolled 19, but had a higher dex bonus than both of you guys.

LAURA: Balls!

MATT: Behind the tables, as they're (thuds) moving forward, goes, "Hmm. Who am I not to seize an opportunity?" Puts a finger forward, and you watch this blue spark glow before (crackles) this arcing blast of lightning--

LAURA: That's not good!

SAM: It's right in a line!

MATT: Strikes forward.

LAURA: We're so dumb.

MATT: I'm going to say that gets, aimed right there, for the maximum effect, would hit, now thankfully Fresh Cut Grass is out of the way at the moment. But it's an arc upward-- All right, so that would be, Ashton, Orym, Laudna, and Dorian, I need you all to make dexterity saves.

LIAM: How about his pet table?

MATT: His table does, yes. (laughs)

LIAM: Dex save.

MARISHA: Mm-mm.

ROBBIE: Oh.

LIAM: F-f-fail.

TRAVIS: Why'd you fuck me, die?

ROBBIE: Wow!

TRAVIS: Why'd you fuck me?

ROBBIE: That hurts.

LIAM: Rolled a three.

LAURA: We're going to die.

ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: That's not good.

SAM: All right. It's got magic.

MATT: Okay, so--

ROBBIE: Seven.

MATT: Seven?

ROBBIE: Yeah.

MATT: 22 points of lightning damage. Laudna?

MARISHA: Nine.

MATT: 22 points of lightning damage.

MARISHA: Yikes.

TRAVIS: We got to go hard.

ROBBIE: Yep.

MATT: If I could have--

LAURA: That's my-- I didn't roll, you told me to not roll.

MATT: That's right, you did not, so it would be-- 22 points of lightning damage.

TALIESIN: 11.

MATT: 22 points of lightning damage.

TALIESIN: Okay, yep, yep.

SAM: I'll take half off of Laudna's.

MARISHA: Oh!

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Thank you.

MATT: So you go ahead and shield it a bit with your mind and take the damage unto you.

SAM: (groans)

MATT: You feel the influx of the impact from the trauma, you absorb it into yourself and you get your temporary hit points for the time being.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: All right, and--

TRAVIS: We shouldn't fight him.

SAM: We have to, we have to!

LAURA: I see that fire and all I can think is that it's a strawberry and I'm like, in my head, every time I look at the table, I'm like, "That looks really yummy."

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: 22 points is a big hit.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

LIAM: He's not the Nightmare Clerk. (laughter)

MATT: He's going to dip back that way, and just cross his arms.

MARISHA: You'll have to take a ticket.

MATT: All right, that finishes his go. That now brings us to Imogen, with Dorian on deck. What are you doing?

LAURA: Okay. I'm going to move away from the group because I don't want that to happen again.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: So I'm just going to strafe to the side.

SAM: Strafe, you're farting as you run?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Any corner, or--?

LAURA: Yeah, I just want a visual on him as I do this--

LIAM: I'm just going to go over here, just 'cause.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Can I see him?

MATT: You can see him just past the pillar.

LAURA: This is not going to work, but I'm going to try it. I'm going to try to hit him with a little Blindness/Deafness--

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: -- as I'm strafing to the side.

MATT: All righty. He had advantage on that and still rolled a 12.

LAURA: (gasps)

MATT: So--

SAM: Which do you want, Blindness or Deafness?

LAURA: I'm thinking Blindness.

SAM: Sure.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah. Blindness.

MATT: Unless those big dark eyes of his can't even see.

LAURA: Who knows, he's got giant ears! ♪ We don't know! ♪

MATT: So as you rush past--

TRAVIS: ♪ We don't know about Bru-no-no-no ♪ (laughter) What? It's a good movie.

SAM: It is!

LAURA: It's a really good movie.

ROBBIE: One for dad.

TRAVIS: Yeah. (laughter)

MATT: My brain went to "Possibly in Michigan" instead. ♪ No, no, no, no, no, no-- ♪

MATT, ASHLEY, and LAURA: ♪ No, no, no no ♪

MATT: All right, so as you rush past, you reach and extend out your arcane capability towards those dark eyes and as you clutch your hand together, you watch him, arms crossed, now standing at full height, in the back go--

ASHLEY: Yes!

MATT: "Interesting. They've got some fight in them, have they?" Just looking and addressing the general space in front and you see him, arms out, long fingers, each one probably now extended is about a foot and half long each, and he's just--

LAURA: Oh god, I don't like it! I'm going to use the rest of my movement to get away from the spot that he last saw me in and I'm going to keep--

MATT: Which way?

LAURA: Moving--

MATT: This way?

LAURA: Can I move to the corner?

MATT: You can move that far.

LAURA: Okay. I don't want to get hit by that thingy in the cage.

MATT: Then there, or--?

LAURA: Yeah, sure.

MATT: Okay. (laughs) That's the end of your movement. Dorian, you're up, with Ashton on deck.

ROBBIE: How far away am I from him, roughly?

MATT: Roughly, about 30 or so feet.

ROBBIE: Okay. Oh man.

TRAVIS: Just don't run through the flaming sphere.

ROBBIE: Yeah. (laughs) I actually have a question, if that's all right, about one of my spells. It says that if I use Shatter, it says, "A non-magical object that isn't being worn or carried, also takes the damage if it's in the spell's area." Is that any magical item that I choose, or is it where the Shatter is originating from? I guess that's the question.

MATT: All right. Let me look at the spell real fast here.

ROBBIE: Thank you.

TRAVIS: Oh, I see where you're going.

MATT: So it is a range of 60 feet. It's a 10-point radius sphere.

ROBBIE: Right.

MATT: It's everything that's in there, takes the damage, any non-magical object that isn't being worn or carried within it also takes damage.

ROBBIE: I can pick what that object is?

TRAVIS: Anything.

ROBBIE: Anything in that space.

MATT: So everything in that space would take damage.

ROBBIE: Okay, so I'm going to turn to Chetney and I'm going to go: Can Gurge fight?

TRAVIS: Yes!

ROBBIE: All right. And I'm going to cast Shatter, and I want to make the origin point somewhere where it would get his lock on his door, I'm going to try to free--

MATT: Right there is 10-foot radius.

ROBBIE: I'm going to try to free Gurge.

MARISHA: Get the table.

MATT: That'll hit the table, that'll hit him, and it'll hit the door.

TRAVIS: Yeah, dude, yes! (cheering)

MATT: All right, let's roll some damage on that. That's 3d8 thunder damage.

ROBBIE: Con is 13, all right.

MATT: Okay.

ROBBIE: 12.

LAURA: Does he have disadvantage on dexterity saves now that he's blind? How does that work?

MATT: This is a constitution saving throw.

LAURA: Oh, okay.

MATT: This is physicality. Dex save, though, yes, he would be at disadvantage on that.

ROBBIE: 13.

MATT: 13, okay. Ira does succeed, so he takes half damage. How much damage was it?

ROBBIE: Oh, yeah, 13. So whatever half of that is. Do you round up, though?

MATT: Round down, technically.

ROBBIE: Six.

MATT: Six damage.

ROBBIE: Thanks, thanks, you tried.

MATT: The table fails and takes--

ROBBIE and LAURA: 13.

MATT: 13 points of damage. And the bars they're bars, they take the damage. You watch as the stone work there blast, the bars bend inward with a sudden impact of it, and you can see the mooring that holds it is still in place, but after the dust begins to settle, part of it is broken forward, you can see heavy cracks in the wall on either side of it.

LAURA: Come on, Gurge, break yourself out!

TRAVIS: Get the lead out, Gurge!

ROBBIE: I will use the rest of my move to move far away from the man. (laughter) Can I actually break for Fearne, and be next to her, but also slightly hiding behind a pillar?

MATT: You can be over there.

ROBBIE: Yeah, that sounds nice.

MATT: Okay. (laughs) You're hiding behind Fearne and the pillar, using them both--

LAURA: He gets his sight back and everyone's just hiding. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Cowering.

MATT: He's probably used to it. Okay, that finish your turn?

ROBBIE: Yeah.

MATT: Dorian's done, Ashton, you're up.

TALIESIN: How far away am I from that prison wall that seems to be bent in, at this point?

MATT: You're about 35 feet from it.

TALIESIN: I'm a little far, then.

MATT: Unfortunately, yeah.

TALIESIN: Okay, okay. That's fine. But I am perfectly close to that table, right?

MATT: You are.

TALIESIN: So I'm going to run to the far side of that table. I'm going to rage.

SAM: Yeah!

ASHLEY: Yes, you are!

MATT: Five, that gets you about there to the far side of the table.

TALIESIN: Interesting. Okay, this is going to be very interesting.

MATT: You push the chair over as you rush past it, (slams) it hits the ground.

TALIESIN: I'm going to take an attack on that table while I'm running by, towards the gate.

MATT: You got it.

SAM: What are the pieces of furniture that are alive right now? The table, and--?

MATT: You can see there's two tables right there that appear to be moving, at the moment.

SAM: Got it, got it.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm actually going to keep the table between me and Mister Creepy.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: At the moment.

MATT: So you're going to stay over on this side, then?

TALIESIN: Yeah, that's a... 19 to hit.

MATT: That hits the table, without issue.

LAURA: (whispers) That's why I didn't step near the gate.

TALIESIN: Okay, that's-- Thank you for writing this down, this is so much easier now. That's 16 points of damage.

MATT: 16 points of damage.

TRAVIS: Let's go.

SAM: Come on.

ROBBIE: Smash 'em.

MATT: Okay, as you slam your hammer into the table, it splinters up in the center and you can see it's sustained some heavy damage. That table is barely standing at this point, it's (thuds). It's trying to now rotate around. Wherever its front might even be, it's trying to address wherever this impact came from, but it's looking hurt.

LAURA: I imagine he sounds like Pretty.

TALIESIN: I'm going to curl a little bit further, I don't want to be in a line there.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: So there we are. Yeah.

MATT: You got it, okay.

TALIESIN: I ain't dumb.

MATT: As you move over to the side, the table that was knocked on the ground from the Shatter spell, the chair that's on the ground, you can see it (tapping). The chair is moving slightly. It's damaged from the Shatter spell, but it is also animated. It seems that everything in this particular radius has been affected. So that finishes your go, Ashton?

TALIESIN: Yep, yep.

MATT: All right, it is now the table and chair's turn.

SAM: Okay, okay.

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

MATT: So this table here--

TRAVIS: ♪ Beauty and the Beast ♪

MATT: -- cannot charge you. It's going to go ahead and just try and slam into you. (thuds) It's going to try and kick up two of its legs and just hit you from the side.

TRAVIS: Slammin' you.

MATT: That is going to be a 23 to hit, rolled pretty well.

TALIESIN: That hits.

MATT: Okay. You take--

LAURA: Damn you, table!

MATT: -- from the table--

LIAM: Table!

MATT: That's a terrible roll to damage, though. Eight points of bludgeoning damage, reduced to four because of your rage.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

SAM: You got a leg up on it.

MATT: That finishes its turn. This table here is going to try and (footsteps) rush forward.

LAURA: Oh no, there's another table?

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Was that table within 15 feet of me?

MATT: The other table is not.

TALIESIN: Okay.

LAURA: Oh no--

TALIESIN: What else is within 15 feet of me?

MATT: It is going to try and slam into you. You watch as all the different bits and bobs on it start spilling off, the containers of liquid begin rolling off onto the ground and shattering, leaving these little puddles, and as it goes (rushing) over towards you, it's going to attempt to slam into you. That is a 16 to hit.

LAURA: 16 is my armor.

MATT: That does hit you.

MARISHA: Shit, no.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Can I take it from you?

LAURA: It's okay. Oh no--

SAM: It's a table.

LAURA: That means it's really good.

MATT: No, that means it's really bad. I rolled double ones on its dice there.

TRAVIS: Nice!

ASHLEY: Yes!

MATT: But it does get to add dice because it charged you.

TRAVIS: Damn it!

MATT: Okay. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Three ones?

MATT: You take 12 points of bludgeoning damage.

LAURA: That's still a lot for me, so, okay.

MATT: Should've been a lot more. But yes, nevertheless, the table, as you're focusing on him--

LAURA: From a table.

MATT: You see him blinking, you hear the impacting crack from Ashton and glance over with a smile, as you see this table being thrashed, and immediately you hear the (tapping), glance over, wham! Smacked in the side, but thankfully, you just managed to pull enough out of the way that it only clips you in the hip and knocks you on one knee.

ROBBIE: That's the worst.

MATT: It is rough, it's rough. It has not been child-proofed; it is a sharp table edge. (laughter)

ASHLEY: No foam corners.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: This chair is going to--

TALIESIN: That chair is going to have to make a constitution saving throw, by the way.

MATT: Yes, okay. Oh, you rolled for your rage ability?

TALIESIN: I'm having a weird little red and blue shift and the Temporal Morass begins to take over that chair.

MATT: Okay. Ah no, it fails.

TALIESIN: Okay. So, yeah, that speed is halved and has no reactions.

MATT: Got it, good to know. Now, the big table, as well, I think, has to make one. It also fails.

TALIESIN: Okay, anything within 15 feet, that's right.

MATT: No, just the ones that are close to him.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: The other chair here is going to go ahead and move-- It's going to move forward to here. This other chair just (tapping), comes right towards you, Chetney, and is going to attempt to slam into you.

TRAVIS: Don't make me do this! (laughter)

MATT: That is 17 to hit.

TRAVIS: Misses!

MATT: Misses, nice! As it comes towards you, you have your hammer the off-hand and just deflect it off to the side. You know furniture well. How dare it try? You've created and destroyed more of its kind than it knows.

TRAVIS: Face your maker and weep! (laughter)

MATT: That finishes their turn. Orym, you're up, with Laudna on deck.

LIAM: Okay, so Orym's eyes were trained forward on all the chaos up there, but corner of his eye, he sees the table lunge at Imogen, so he bails on that, takes a breath, Second Wind. I gain back 14 hit points.

SAM and LAURA: Whoa!

LIAM: I rolled a 10 out of 10.

TALIESIN: Watched that happen.

LIAM: He's going to hook around Chetney, run up, actually, onto this machine right behind Imogen, and I'm going to use a superiority technique, Bait and Switch. Orym barrel-rolls under Imogen's feet and then pushes her backward, away from the table--

LAURA: For a moment in time, I'm riding on his shoulders before I hop off. (laughter)

LIAM: Giddy up.

MATT: Perfect.

LIAM: So she doesn't take an attack of opportunity, and your armor class-- Your armor class until the start of my next turn is up seven points.

ASHLEY and LAURA: Whoa!

TRAVIS: Seven!

MATT: That's awesome.

LIAM: That's the first time I rolled high on that maneuver. Every time I'm like, "Oh, two."

LAURA: My armor class-- I will never have a higher armor class!

LIAM: And I'm going to action surge and try to cut the legs off this table.

TRAVIS: Let's go, brother!

MATT: Go for it.

ROBBIE: Come on!

TRAVIS: Get the fuck out of here with this turn!

LIAM: That is--

LAURA: Whoa!

MATT: Fighters are no joke.

LIAM: 15.

MATT: 15 hits.

LIAM: All right. Doodle-doodle-doodle- doodle-doot.

ROBBIE: Yes.

LIAM: Doodle-doodle-doodle-oot. Oh, and it's a Goading Attack.

MATT: Okay, got it.

LIAM: Five.

TRAVIS: ♪ It's a Goading Attack. ♪

LIAM: 11.

TRAVIS: Nope.

LIAM: So it has to make a wisdom save--

MARISHA: Too far?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LIAM: -- and the total damage on that is 18.

MATT: 18, nice.

TALIESIN: That was messed up to watch.

MATT: It does make the save with a natural 20.

TRAVIS: Dude.

LIAM: That's okay.

TALIESIN: Burn that 20 out of--

MATT: But you do, as you come across the way, the table is rearing itself around to try and slam into Imogen again, until you manage to swap places and then instead, it comes into your shield, and you push it to the side, and then come up with your blade and just jam it right to where the cross-legs underneath it attach and you watch as some of the bolts go free and it falls to one side, and now it's (scrapes and thuds). It's having a hard time keeping itself up.

LIAM: Huh.

LAURA: You hear in your head: Thank you.

LIAM: That was way better than all the things I thought I was going to do for the first two minutes of this fight. (laughter)

MATT: Awesome. All right, that finish your turn?

LIAM: Yes, yes.

MATT: All right. Laudna, you're up, with Chetney on deck.

MARISHA: All right. So Laudna's fangirling a little bit. So she's going to back up into this corner, around the--

MATT: Over here?

MARISHA: Yes, yes, and back up into the shadows as far as she can.

MATT: There is a box there. Yeah, I say you can go ahead and sneak over to there, yeah.

MARISHA: And she's going to-- She's emulating creepy nightmare man. You see her eyes go black, and her mouth tears a little bit. She starts cackling, and it echoes amongst the chamber like he did, and she casts Hex upon him.

SAM: Okay, okay.

LIAM: Yes.

SAM: That's a lot of necklaces.

MARISHA: And then she's going to take all the goopy--

MATT: Just Mardi Gras-ing it over here.

MARISHA: -- potions and the gross muck that's on the ground, and it starts to vibrate. It lifts, defying gravity. And Eldritch Blast.

MATT: Go for it.

SAM: Ooh, nice.

MATT: You have an advantage because he is blinded.

MARISHA: A natural 20. (cheering)

ASHLEY: Let's go!

MARISHA: (vocalizing)

MATT: That doubles the Hex dice as well.

LAURA: Woo.

MARISHA: So that's-- I do 2d10 plus--

SAM: Hex?

MARISHA: My d6 as well.

MATT: One d10 doubled, and then d6 doubled.

LAURA: All 10s and sixes.

MARISHA: Oh, right. Eldritch Blast is 1d10.

MATT: Correct, yeah.

LIAM: Get it, Nightmare Queen.

MARISHA: It is, yes, it's 1d10.

TRAVIS: King, meet your queen.

MARISHA: What, 1d6? Oh god, I'm panicking, okay.

LAURA: Oh no, what if he's your soulmate? (laughter)

MARISHA: Hi.

LIAM: Best way to find out.

MARISHA: Oh, man, why? But that's okay. 10, 13, 14 total.

MATT: 14 damage from the blast.

MARISHA: Yeah, I rolled a one on my Hex die.

MATT: As the dark shadows and liquid begin to swirl around the space, "Oh, that feels colder than I expected." (groans) Gets hit in the chest and knocked into the stone, and you see the wall behind give slightly. He's like, "Ah. Hmm. It's been a while."

MARISHA: (giggles) And then it echoes.

MATT: There it is.

LAURA: He likes that.

MATT: Awesome, does that finish your turn?

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: All right. Chetney, you're up.

TRAVIS: Fuck it. I take my pants, and I pull 'em down.

SAM: What?

TRAVIS: So I just got my undies now. It's just me in all my glory. I got my mallet and my wood chisel. I walk over to the chair and say: The wood shop's open. (laughter)

TRAVIS: I'll draw the wood chisel across my pec and make an attack.

MATT: Go for it. (laughter)

MATT: That's amazing. (laughter)

TRAVIS: That's a 14 to hit.

MATT: That hits.

TRAVIS: (squeals) Great. What do I roll? Fuck, what's this character? Six plus seven, 13. 13 points of damage.

MATT: 13 points of damage?

SAM: Nice.

MATT: Nice. So you jam the chisel into it and drag it upward. You watch the wood splinter in the center. It's still holding together, but it is heavily hurt.

TRAVIS: I'll use my bonus action to make another attack.

LIAM: Yeah!

MATT: Go for it.

TRAVIS: No, it's a two. That's nine. It's not great.

MATT: That's fine. Well, technically, bonus action, you have to have two-handed fighting.

TRAVIS: Oh, well then, I would just-- I put the mallet away. (laughter)

MARISHA: It's there for flavor.

TRAVIS: I'll hide it, but you get to think about where.

MATT: There you go. (laughter)

MATT: No worries. All right, that finishes your turn. It is now-- It is now Gurge's go. The creature behind this.

LIAM: Come on, Gurge.

MATT: The creature on that side, you watch as the table that's now adjacent to it, the insect-like arms begin to reach out and scrape against the side of the table. It misses. But you watch as the table now, all of a sudden, these long insect-like pincer extended arms and legs begin to pull forth and begin to scrape into the wood and dig grooves into it before it pulls back slightly. Gurge over there is going to go ahead and-- (panting, snarling) You watch as fur begins to burst from all parts of his skin. (cheering)

MATT: You watch his form begin to grow, muscles expand, and you see his snout extend into a wolf-like bipedal form.

LAURA: Ooh.

ROBBIE: Yes!

LAURA: Look at that Gurge figure.

MATT: And is going to go ahead and attempt to grab the bars and (roars) try and pull them free.

LAURA: Come on, Gurge!

ROBBIE: Come on, Gurge!

MATT: With advantage. That'll do it. With the damage that was sustained from it, pulls the bars free. This whole section of the door is now on the ground.

MARISHA: Cool.

MATT: And is going to turn the corner here and get right next to the Nightmare King and be like, "(snarls) Oh, it's on then, buddy." That's all he's got because he did use his action to pull it free.

SAM: Sure, sure, yeah.

MATT: Yeah, that finishes Gurge's go. With that, we come to Fresh Cut Grass.

MARISHA: Also, he gets disadvantage from my Hex on one ability. I'm going to do... wisdom.

MATT: Okay, you got it.

ALL: Ooh.

TRAVIS: There was also two points of damage against the chair that I missed.

MATT: Oh, good to know.

SAM: Okay, so we still got two tables and a chair.

MATT: Two tables, two chairs.

SAM: Two chairs, oh my god.

TRAVIS: Four Weddings and a Funeral.

MATT: Yes.

SAM: But the tables are looking rough, right? Somebody already did--

MATT: Both tables are looking pretty rough. Both chairs looking pretty rough, actually.

SAM: Maybe I'll take out a table. I will focus and cast my Spiritual Weapon and make it a form that all tables fear most, which is a really wet beer stein with no coaster. (laughter)

MATT: I'll use this to represent it. But sure, that'll work. Where do you want it to be?

TRAVIS: Not the white ring of death!

SAM: Yes. (laughter)

SAM: I will smash it down on the table.

MATT: To the table here?

SAM: Yeah, the one next to Ashton. Actually, you know what? I should do the one next to Imogen.

LAURA: No.

TALIESIN: Mm-mm.

MATT: Have it near Imogen, then?

SAM: Eh.

TALIESIN: Whatever.

SAM: I mean, they're both-- Orym's over there. They're both good. I'll stick to the Ashton one, yeah.

MATT: All right, got it.

SAM: I'll free him up to do some damage to the big guy.

MATT: The range on the spell is 60 feet, right? So you're fine to do it from there?

SAM: Sure.

MATT: You got it, okay. So go ahead and roll.

SAM: Do I roll? I don't know.

MATT: You do, you roll to attack and add your spell modifier.

SAM: Oh boy, five. Plus five.

MATT: It goes and strikes the table. But as opposed to an impact and cracking, it's more of a beer stein hitting a table for a cheer.

SAM: Oh no! (laughter) It had a coaster on it the whole time! I just didn't see it from across the room! Oh no!

MATT: But you do sense upon impact, the table almost begins to quiver in the presence of its hated, long-loathed nemesis. (laughter)

SAM: I've just got to move it over a little. I will-- I guess I'll stay put. You know what? Maybe I'll bumpa-bumpa-bumpa down the stairs a little bit to join.

MATT: How far do you want to go?

TRAVIS: Jump down and a leg roll.

SAM: I mean, is there a banister I can hold onto? Or do I just roll down? (laughter)

MATT: No, you're just (bouncing). (laughs)

SAM: I get to the bottom, and--

MATT: You can move two more feet, if you want to, or you can stay put.

SAM: I'll turn right and head over towards Imogen.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Then I guess that's it. I don't really have a bonus action I can do because I already cast a spell. So maybe I can just--

TALIESIN: You can attack, I think.

SAM: Hmm?

TALIESIN: I think you can attack, right? No, because--

LAURA: You can still attack.

MATT: You can still attack. You have a physical action. It's a bonus action to do your Spiritual Weapon.

SAM: Oh. Oh, wow, clerics.

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: Well, I don't have-- I think I have my hands on. I don't have any--

TRAVIS: That's all you need, baby.

SAM: I can do--

LAURA: Just a little--

SAM: -- unarmed strike against the chair.

MATT: You can, against the chair.

SAM: All right, I will do that. I will roll up to it and just headbutt it.

MATT: Okay, go ahead. Go ahead and roll and add your strength modifier.

SAM: 12-- uh-oh. It was sort of a cocky 12.

LIAM: That wasn't as twelve-y as the other one.

SAM: I'll do another one. 15! Plus, what was it, strength?

MATT: Your strength modifier.

SAM: One. 16.

MATT: 16 hits.

LAURA: Hey!

MATT: So you do one damage plus your strength modifier, which is two, plus the temporary hit points you have on you.

MARISHA: Oh, yeah.

SAM: Which I think you said I can only do up to seven points of damage when I-- Is that right?

TRAVIS: I'm storing it up?

MATT: I believe it's your proficiency plus your wisdom modifier.

SAM: Yes, which is seven points.

MATT: Yeah, so it'd be seven.

LAURA: Seven plus two plus one.

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: That's 10 points of damage.

ASHLEY: Dang!

TRAVIS: That's a good headbutt.

ROBBIE: Yeah, come on.

ASHLEY: That is awesome.

TRAVIS: That's a big headbutt.

SAM: Wow. All right, I'll take it.

LIAM: Discharged.

MATT: So Chetney, as you pull your chisel out and put your hammer to the side for a second, figuring out what to do next, just unclothed in the middle of this chamber-- (laughter)

MATT: -- Fresh Cut Grass comes up from behind, and angrily, you punch this chair, and it splinters across the ground, broken apart into pieces--

SAM: Hey!

MATT: -- no longer animated.

ROBBIE: Let's go! (cheering)

SAM: Would you cover yourself up?

TRAVIS: Hot damn, I'm going to draw blood! (laughter)

TALIESIN: Sam, you can draw Sam. (laughter)

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: Somebody grab Chetney. We're going to jail! (laughter)

MATT: Fearne, you're up.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LAURA: Oh my god, oh god. It's all happening.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay.

MATT: That table also did start its turn within-- I forgot to roll for the table because of the Flaming Sphere, which it failed its saving throw against, so roll another 2d6 points of fire damage, because it did start-- The table started its turn next to your Flaming Sphere.

ASHLEY: Oh, great. Oh, so I roll additional--

LAURA: Your teenies.

ASHLEY: That's stuck in there, so we'll do these ones. Okay, six points of damage.

MATT: Okay, six points damage to it, nice. The table's looking real rough.

ASHLEY: Okay, so what I'm going to do is... I am going to summon a Flame Blade and shoot it at Mr. Nightmare Man.

MATT: Okay, so the Flame Blade, you create a--

ASHLEY: It's concentration.

MATT: It is concentration. You will lose the Flaming Sphere.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LAURA: Can you move your Flaming Sphere?

ASHLEY: I can move the Flaming Sphere as a-- Yeah. Okay, so you know what? Because I want to do something-- Okay. I'm going to have Mister come around a little bit behind Ashton.

MATT: You got it.

ASHLEY: He is going to shoot some flaming seeds. I got Southern. (laughter)

ASHLEY: I heard it. (laughter)

SAM: (Southern accent) I wonder why. (laughter)

LAURA: What was that?

TRAVIS: Just stick with--

ASHLEY: I'm going to have him shoot-- It's been a while, guys. We're still a little rusty. I'm going to have him shoot--

SAM: Late January.

ASHLEY: -- his flame seeds, flaming poop at the table.

MATT: You got it. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Which is-- Good lord.

MATT: I love this game.

TRAVIS: It's the best.

MATT: Just go ahead and roll an attack, and add your bonus for the flaming spheeds-- no. It's seeds? I think it is. My brain is melting.

ASHLEY: Yep, same. Oh my god, where is everything going? Okay. Oh, yeah, that is-- Um, um, um, what am I adding, what am I adding?

MATT: It's your spell attack modifier.

ASHLEY: Spell attack modifier, oh yeah. Okay, that's really high. That's 25.

MATT: That definitely hits.

TRAVIS: Yeah! Let's do it.

ASHLEY: So that is-- Where is my-- Jeez louise, you guys, I'm having such a brain fart right now. Okay.

LIAM: (fart sound)

MATT: It does 1d6 plus your proficiency bonus of fire damage.

ASHLEY: Okay. Oh okay, so that's a six. And-- Eight points of damage.

MATT: Eight points of damage. The table, you see now, is catching fire from the flaming sphere. It's still cracked heavily from the impact that Ashton and this beer stein kind of, sort of, maybe didn't do. But the table is starting to turn and is getting ready to rear up and slam into Ashton for a second time as the flaming turd-- (whooshes) Scatters across it like napalm, and the table just ignites. You watch it move for a second before it collapses inward and just smolders in space.

ASHLEY: Good boy! Okay, and then--

LAURA: That's a good poop.

ASHLEY: I'm going to move the flaming sphere.

MATT: Okay, that's a bonus action.

ASHLEY: Shove it into Ira.

MARISHA: Trust the caca.

SAM: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

MARISHA: Yeah.

ROBBIE: Find comfort in it.

MATT: Now here's the thing. It's the bonus action--

ASHLEY: Yeah, that's two bonus actions.

MATT: Yeah, so you either can-- So you did the flaming seed. The flaming sphere just sits there until your next bonus action to move it.

ASHLEY: Okay. So then in that case, let me shoot out-- A Scorching Ray--

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: -- at him.

MATT: At him, go for it.

ASHLEY: Yes.

TRAVIS and ROBBIE: Mm-hmm.

LIAM: Act II: A bunch of assholes killed my furniture. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Wow, that crept up on me.

ASHLEY: 19.

MATT: 19, yeah, that'll go ahead and hit.

ASHLEY: That'll hit, okay.

SAM: I'm Ira Creepy Guy.

ASHLEY: So 2d6.

TALIESIN: Morning becomes horrific.

ASHLEY: Seven points of damage.

MATT: Seven points of damage, okay. Nice.

TALIESIN: Try and find it.

SAM: Nice, nice.

MATT: Now it should be shooting for the-- It should be three different attacks on that one, too.

SAM: Whoa.

ASHLEY: It sure is. Jeez louise, you guys.

MATT: It's okay, it's okay, we got there.

ASHLEY: Natural one.

SAM: Yes.

MATT: Okay. You have advantage on these because he's blind.

ASHLEY: Okay, good. So let me roll these again.

MATT: So it's one and whatever you roll here.

ASHLEY: That is a six. Good lord, 13. That probably doesn't--

MATT: 13 misses. The second one misses.

TRAVIS: This is advantage, too.

SAM: This is better.

SAM: Roll it again, advantage.

ASHLEY: Okay, that's better. That is-- Uh, uh, uh, 24.

MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll another 2d6.

ASHLEY: Okay. Good grief, I am like--

MARISHA: These are all poops?

ASHLEY: One of them was a poop.

TRAVIS: Flaming sph--

ASHLEY: No, no, no. This is Scorching Ray.

MARISHA: Oh, this is Scorching Ray.

ASHLEY: Seven.

MATT: Seven points damage again, you got it.

MARISHA: How much shit is in this monkey?

MATT: So it impacts.

LIAM: "Shit" is her subclass.

TRAVIS: I main it a lot.

MATT: (sniffs) (groans) You see is picking up another odd scent in the air.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

MATT: Aw, dang it.

TRAVIS: No.

ASHLEY: What are you doing?

SAM: I'm doing some Wordles.

LIAM: Doing Wordle.

TALIESIN: I'm so glad I don't know what that is yet.

TRAVIS: I don't either, and I refuse to know.

LAURA: I don't know how to play it.

MARISHA: I keep seeing blocks.

TRAVIS: I see trends, and I run the other way.

MATT: Eh. All right, does that finish your turn?

ASHLEY: That finishes my turn.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LIAM: Simple game.

MATT: It is now--

LIAM: Word game.

MATT: -- Ira's turn. (groans) Ira goes--

LAURA: Boo, hiss.

MATT: "(sighs) I guess let's take the weights off."

TRAVIS: What?

MATT: As a bonus action--

LAURA: Oh no.

LIAM: He's Rock Lee. He's about to go--

MATT: You watch as the air around him shimmers for a second. The limbs seem to stretch even further. All the light seems to bend, and the shadows begin to shift under their own will. I need everybody within 60 of feet of him to make a wisdom saving throw.

ROBBIE: That's everybody.

TRAVIS: Is this magic?

MARISHA: Is that including Laudna?

MATT: This is a magical effect, so yes. Laudna--

LIAM: Come on, come on.

MATT: Yes, it does.

MARISHA: It does. Wisdom saving throw?

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: Colville die. Come on, Matt Colville. Meteorite.

ROBBIE: 16.

MATT: 16, all right. You are fine. You just made it.

TRAVIS: 15.

LIAM: Aw, damn it.

MATT: 15. You are frightened.

TRAVIS: Frightened!

LAURA: Oh no, Nightmare King.

ROBBIE: You're frightened?

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'm frightened.

LIAM: I have advantage on saving throws against being frightened.

MATT: You do, so roll again.

LIAM: Come on, Matt Colville, come on, do it. Yep, I rolled a 19.

MATT: Okay, success.

LIAM: Yeah!

TALIESIN: Natural one.

MATT: Natural one.

ROBBIE: Oh no.

MATT: You are frightened, Ashton.

TALIESIN: Boo.

ASHLEY: 17.

MATT: 17, you succeed.

SAM: Eight.

MATT: Eight, you are frightened, my friend.

LIAM: I was scared and frightened.

MATT: You may have already been frightened, so this just continues.

LAURA: I was already frightened?

MATT: No, I'm just saying--

LAURA: Oh. (laughs)

MATT: You can progress to the next stage of fear.

ASHLEY: I was already scared?

LAURA: I was scared?

MATT: I know you succeeded.

ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: That's everybody, right?

ASHLEY: That's everybody.

LAURA: Yes.

MARISHA: 12. But I think I'm immune to being frightened, aren't I?

SAM: Oh, that seems right.

MATT: If you're going to tell me that makes sense, then yeah.

SAM: Go under Features and Traits.

MARISHA: That's what I'm looking at.

SAM: Then just make it up.

LAURA: Me, too! I am, too! (laughter)

MARISHA: When my form of dread is up, which I did pop it at the very top--

MATT: You did, yes.

MARISHA: Okay, so I'm good.

MATT: It says you're immune to frightened?

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Then yeah, you're good.

MARISHA: Yay.

MATT: You don't care. Okay.

LIAM: I'm dead.

MARISHA: He's so cool.

MATT: So with that, he's going to go ahead and-- Hmm. "You're already a bit of a problem." Is going to go ahead and look towards-- Not even look towards you. Actually, he's still blind.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Oh, okay.

TRAVIS: That's the only thing keeping us alive.

MATT: Yeah, okay then.

ROBBIE: Is it, though?

ASHLEY: Yeah. (laughter)

MATT: He hears Gurge to the side and goes, "Ah, don't be a bother right now."

TRAVIS: That's my Gurge.

MATT: And is going to go ahead and step forward, into the flaming sphere.

TRAVIS: Oh!

ROBBIE: Into it?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

TALIESIN: He can't see it.

TRAVIS: Can't see anything.

MATT: So go ahead and roll a 2d6.

ASHLEY: Just going to tickle the taint a little.

LAURA: (like Fearne) Why am I so hot? (laughter)

ASHLEY: Seven points of damage.

MATT: Seven points of damage, all right.

LAURA: He's down to 400 hit points now, guys.

MATT: He's going to step through it--

ROBBIE: Almost got him.

MATT: -- and continue until stepping into the space of people that he senses were in a similar arrangement before. Suddenly, there's Fresh Cut Grass and Chetney within a specific range. He goes, "Very well. My apologies for whoever is right here." He's going to go ahead and unleash a barrage of claw strikes.

SAM: Ooh.

ASHLEY: Oh.

TALIESIN: Mm.

MATT: It's going to be one against each of you, actually.

SAM: All right, all right.

MATT: Natural 20 on you. (groaning)

ROBBIE: Oh no.

MATT: Against you--

LAURA: Are they at disadvantage?

LIAM and MARISHA: Because he's blind?

MATT: That's true, it's at disadvantage. Thank you for reminding me. So you, that would actually be a-- 16.

TRAVIS: Misses. AC is 18.

SAM: Wow.

MATT: (whoosh) Just goes past.

SAM: Luck.

MATT: Angrily, he's going to backslash towards you, Fresh Cut Grass.

SAM: Sure, sure.

MATT: Disadvantage. That's going to put it at a 15.

SAM: 16 is my armor class.

ALL: Oh!

TALIESIN: Oh my god.

ASHLEY: Yes!

SAM: We're shorter than he is.

LIAM: Short kings! (laughter)

MATT: That's exactly what happens. You both go to defend yourself, and everything just goes way over your head. He's like, "Oh, right, right. That's on me." (laughter)

TRAVIS: Maybe we let him live, he's funny. (laughter)

MARISHA: You made us laugh.

TRAVIS: Right, right.

MATT: Then it's going to go ahead and-- It's going to stay there for the time being. Then-- 18, I believe, does succeed. So he's no longer blinded. But is still--

MARISHA: But--

ASHLEY: He's still hexed.

MARISHA: That was awesome.

ASHLEY: That was so helpful.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: That actually was super helpful.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

MATT: All right. That finishes his turn. That brings us to Imogen, with Dorian on deck.

LAURA: Great, cool.

SAM: All right.

LAURA: I am frightened, which means that I cannot attack him.

MATT: You can attack him. Just all of your rolls, as long as he's within your vision, all your rolls are at disadvantage.

TRAVIS and MATT: And you can't move towards him.

MATT: You can move away from him or adjacent to, like you're staying the same distance.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: (scared noises)

LAURA: Okay. I am going to-- Use a bonus action to regain one of my spell slots.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: So I'm going to get a 2nd-level back because I had two sorcery points left.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I'm going to try to--

MATT: The sorcery points to spell slot level is a little different. It's not one per one, if you go look at the--

LAURA: It isn't?

MATT: Nope.

MARISHA: It takes two.

LAURA and ASHLEY: ♪ It takes two, baby ♪

MATT: I'm pretty sure it's two for-- Yeah, for a 1st-level spell slot, it takes two sorcery points. For a 2nd-level, it's three sorcery points.

LAURA: Oh.

TALIESIN: There's a base cost.

LAURA: I understand.

MATT: It's okay. It's the first time really using the conversion.

LAURA: I've never done that. Okay, then I'm going to get-- I'm not going to do that then.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I'm just going to cast, at 1st-level, Witch Bolt on him at disadvantage.

LIAM: Which one?

MATT: By all means. Go for it.

LAURA: (laughs) I shouldn't have laughed at that. (laughter) Aw! I had a natural 20!

TRAVIS: It rolled over?

LAURA: No, it's at disadvantage. But that's still-- 17 to hit.

MATT: 17 just hits. (cheering)

ASHLEY: Yes!

ROBBIE: Oh, nice.

MATT: Go ahead and roll your d12 damage against it.

TRAVIS: Circle it up.

LAURA: So I'm going to-- My eyes are going to ignite white.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: I'm going to reach out my hand while I'm really scared and send out a lightning bolt of purple towards him.

MATT: You've got it.

TRAVIS: (like Imogen) Purple.

LAURA: Purple.

LIAM: Purple.

LAURA: Purple.

MATT: It arcs past--

LAURA: Like, it's going to arch towards--

LIAM: (like Imogen) Towards.

LAURA: His navel.

MATT: You've got it.

MARISHA: (exaggerated) Arch towards his navel.

SAM: His nipple or his navel?

ROBBIE: (slurred) Arch towards his navel. (laughter)

SAM: Ermahgerd, nervel.

MATT: Okay. So as it arcs into him and gathers around, the head flashes in your direction. The grin just stays plastered there.

LAURA: Mm-hmm. I'm going to back up.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I'm going to keep the-- It doesn't matter because he can walk really far, I'm sure, but I'm going to walk towards the steps.

MATT: Okay, how far?

LAURA: Oh, I don't want to be right-- Hmm. Wherever I go, I'm just lining up another lightning attack, aren't I?

SAM: He can't see. We'll be fine.

TALIESIN: Yeah, he can now.

LAURA: He can see now.

SAM: Oh, well, forget that then.

MATT: Where do you want to go?

LIAM: There's nothing in my text about her extra AC decreasing if she moves away from me.

LAURA: Oh.

LIAM: Does that-- It doesn't say that. But--

MATT: Just until the next turn?

LIAM: Just says the end of my next turn.

LAURA: Your next turn?

LIAM: But it doesn't say anything about the other character needing to stay by.

MATT: That's interesting. I'll allow it.

LAURA: Okay, I'll back up.

MATT: Do some more research.

LAURA: Back up.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Back up.

LAURA: Back up, yeah.

MATT: To here?

LAURA: Yeah, that sounds good.

MATT: Okay. You got it. All right, that finishes--

TRAVIS: No way. I'm between you and him now.

LIAM: At the top of it, it says, "When you're within five feet." So that probably does mean that.

LAURA: When you cast it?

LIAM: Well, it's not a spell. It just means I'm getting in the way.

LAURA: Oh.

LIAM: I'm doing this with a shield in front of your--

TRAVIS: He flexed his tricep.

LAURA: Oh, well, if that's the case, I don't have to move.

LIAM: You do whatever you want to do.

LIAM: You're the leader of your own story.

MATT: So.

LIAM: AC dropped back to normal.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Finishing your go. Dorian, you're up.

ROBBIE: Cool. I am going to-- I'm un-afeared. Right? I'm not scared.

MATT: You are not scared.

ROBBIE: All right.

MATT: You've seen more terrible things in your time.

ROBBIE: I'm going to sprint--

TRAVIS: Have you?

ROBBIE: I'm going to sprint over to Imogen.

MATT: Okay.

ROBBIE: And--

LAURA: Hi.

ROBBIE: Hi, how are you doing?

LAURA: Oh, great, just fine.

ROBBIE: Okay.

SAM: Oh, good, line up. (laughter)

ROBBIE: I'm going to cast-- I'm going to try to cast Dissonant Whispers.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Ooh.

MATT: All righty, that is a--

SAM: ♪ ("Careless Whisper") ♪

ROBBIE: 13 wisdom, which he has disadvantage on, right? Or no, something like that. Isn't he affected by the Hex?

LAURA: Oh yeah, he has wisdom.

LIAM: Because of Hex.

LAURA: Gets disadvantage because of the Hex, yes, he does.

MATT: That's ability checks, not saving throws.

ROBBIE: Shoot.

LAURA, LIAM, and MARISHA: Aw.

ROBBIE: I thought I was so smart. For 13.

LAURA: That's where we-- Every time, we think that.

MATT: That is a 17 on his end, so he saves. But you still do damage.

ROBBIE: Yes, and it's-- 1st-level is--

MARISHA: It's a little bit weaker.

ROBBIE: 3d6, but it's halved. Oh shit!

MARISHA: Oh, that's good.

ROBBIE: 12, 17, eight.

MATT: So eight, all right. Even with that impact, it still seems to not do as much as you think it should've. You can see him twitch a little bit, like, "Ah, music to my ears."

LAURA: I think he's got some sort of psychic block.

ROBBIE: Sure, sure.

MARISHA: He likes whispers.

ROBBIE: Yeah. All right, well you seem to be doing better than me. I'm going to put my hand on her shoulder and give her Bardic Inspiration.

MATT: All righty.

LAURA: Thank you.

MATT: Go ahead and take your d6.

ROBBIE: That's it for me.

MATT: All right, finishing Dorian's go. It is now Ashton.

TALIESIN: I'm before--

LAURA: I'm going to take a blue one for Dorian.

TALIESIN: Is that chair still a thing? Or is that chair--

MATT: It is. That chair is still a thing.

TALIESIN: Okay, I'm going to-- I smack that chair, and I'm going to use a reckless attack because that will make my attack normal.

MATT: Yeah, go for it.

TRAVIS: Nice.

TALIESIN: Let's actually hit something. Yeah, that hits. So that's, yeah, that's 20-something to hit.

MATT: Okay. By the way, Imogen, roll another wisdom saving throw--

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: -- to see if you shook off the fear.

LAURA: Oh! Ah, 18 plus two!

MATT: Yeah, you are no longer a-feared.

TRAVIS: Is that at the end of our turns?

MATT: It's at the end of the turns, yeah.

TRAVIS: Got it.

TALIESIN: So just still staring at that giant fucking pumpkin king motherfucker, I'm just going to pull up the hammer and just drop it hard onto that fucking chair for--

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Yeah, baby.

TALIESIN: For 14 points of damage.

MATT: 14 points of damage. The chair (smashes) just crumbles beneath the weight of your hammer and splinters into a hundred pieces.

TRAVIS: (echoed splintering)

TALIESIN: I'm going to slowly make my way--

MARISHA, SAM, ROBBIE: (slowly) ♪ Makin' my way ♪

TALIESIN: You're welcome. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Is there something--

TRAVIS: Deep space.

TALIESIN: You guys are adorable.

TRAVIS: Challenger deep space.

TALIESIN: Is there something in that cage, or is there not something in that cage?

MATT: You haven't seen anything in there yet, no.

TRAVIS: Houston, we're receiving--

LIAM: There's green, slithering--

TALIESIN: In the other one? Oh, in both of them? That's the other one.

LIAM: This one, right, was the green slithering?

MATT: This one, you haven't seen anything in it yet.

TALIESIN: All right, I'm going to just back up to that column and just take a look in there to see if there's anything in there.

MATT: Okay, you back up to the column.

TALIESIN: Is there something in there?

MATT: It appears to be empty.

TALIESIN: All right. I'm just backing up to get a little run, then.

MATT: Okay. That finishes your turn. Go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw.

TALIESIN: Thank you. Please, please, please, please, please.

SAM: What was I doing? I was doing ♪ ("Careless Whisper") ♪

TALIESIN: Hey! 19.

MATT: 19. You are no longer afraid.

TALIESIN: Boom. Oh, it's on next round.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: All right.

MATT: At the end of your turn, he's going to use a legendary action.

TRAVIS: Oh no!

LAURA: Oh--

SAM: Legendary?

TRAVIS: Shit.

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: Saving it up! That means he's playing with us, if he's had them this whole time.

SAM: No, we've almost got him. He's almost down.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we totally want to deal with a legendary action creature at level four.

SAM: He's looking rough.

MATT: He looks at the electrical arc that's shooting around his body and tethering you two together, and goes--

LAURA: Oh god.

MATT: "Aw, adorable."

TALIESIN: (whines)

LAURA: I'm adorable--

MATT: Flicks a finger, and this one little bead of fire go (whooshes) and ignite right in front of your face. That is going to be a 19 to hit.

LAURA: Aw.

LIAM: Damn it.

SAM: Even with your AC--

LIAM: No, she moved away from me.

MATT: She moved away, yeah.

LAURA: Well, I didn't know!

LIAM: No, I know. (laughter)

LIAM: Listen, there's a thousand rules in this game, you learn bit by bit by bit.

ASHLEY: Weren't we going to allow it?

LIAM: No, we're not going to allow it.

MATT: No, after thinking about the actual ability and looking at the text too, it doesn't make sense. So, you take 11 points of fire damage.

LIAM: "An ally within five feet."

ASHLEY: Oh, okay.

TALIESIN: How you doing?

LIAM: I'm doing this with my shield.

MATT: It hits you and curls up and burns across your torso and your shoulders. You have to pat it out for a second. Dorian helps you pat it out.

SAM: Maybe I'll take half of it.

LAURA: I've got this many.

LIAM: Maybe a third?

SAM: I'll take half the damage.

LIAM: Make it a quarter.

MATT: Okay, so--

TALIESIN: Five.

SAM: Six to me, five to me?

MATT: We'll say five to you, and you still take six points of fire damage.

ASHLEY: Oh god.

MATT: You get five temporary hit points.

ROBBIE: Stressful.

MATT: Okay. That finishes that reactionary point. That was Ashton's go.

TALIESIN: That shit's some devil shit.

MATT: The table here is now going to go attempt-- the only standing piece of animated material is going to attempt to back up.

LIAM: Attack of opportunity!

MATT: You do get an attack of opportunity.

LIAM: That is an 18. That hit-- I assume.

MATT: Indeed.

LIAM: Okay, so that deals-- Oh fuck. That's eight points of damage.

MATT: Eight points of damage to it. Got it. You strike out, swipe, and it cuts off a chunk of wood that you see hangs for a second before slamming into the ground. (rolling thuds) It backs up 20 feet and then rushes into you.

LIAM: (groans)

MATT: (crashes)

LAURA: (groans)

MATT: With a slamming strike, as part of its charge.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: Ooh, that is going to be a 22 to hit.

LIAM: Yeah, that hits.

TRAVIS: Drawers out or in? (laughter)

LIAM: My pants are up. (laughter)

MATT: There we go.

TRAVIS: Missing out. (laughter) (laughter)

MATT: Take 22 points of bludgeoning damage.

LIAM: From a table!?

LAURA: 22 points!

LIAM: Holy cow!

TRAVIS: How many?

LAURA: It's a little table.

LIAM: 22 points of damage from the table.

TALIESIN: Oh my god!

MATT: It backed up and charged and when it moves 20 feet at least, it gets an additional 2d8.

SAM: Slide it out, and put another piece in to make it a bigger table. (laughter)

MATT: No, it's solid mahogany. This is some really good craftsmanship. You would appreciate it.

TALIESIN: This is so bad right now. (laughter)

MATT: Yeah, and it's been raining a lot-- So the wood's swollen, you know?

LIAM: I thought it was a coffee table, not a boardroom table.

TRAVIS: Oh my god! Swollen wood!

LIAM: He's looking rough, guys. (laughter)

MATT: That finishes the table's go. Orym, you're up with Laudna on deck.

LIAM: Oh, well, I'm going to fight back and I'm going to jump on this motherfucker. I leap up into the air and land on it.

LAURA: On the table.

LIAM: Yeah, and I stab down twice. So, first time is a natural 20!

TRAVIS: Yeah, let's go, baby! (cheering)

LAURA: Kill that table!

MARISHA: Stomp is in town!

LIAM: The second, oh, that's a tiny die, is an 18.

MATT: So, you're attacking twice?

LIAM: Yeah, attack-attack because of my level as a fighter, no?

MATT: At level four, you only get one attack.

LIAM: Oh, has it been that long? Okay, then I attack once.

MATT: At fifth level, you get your double attack.

LIAM: All right, eight--

LAURA: We're babies!

LIAM: Eight plus-- that is a 13.

MATT: 13.

MARISHA: Matt, can we be level 5 after this? (laughter)

MATT: That's enough to do it. So, as you leap into the air and you come down with your blade, you strike it and as you hit the center of the wood, the rest of your weight hits, and you turn the blade in the actual center of where the different wood slats are, splits in the center and it falls into two pieces, as you (crashes) back on the ground.

LIAM: Nice.

ASHLEY: Yes.

SAM: Good table kill.

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, surf that bastard.

LAURA: We killed all the furniture, y'all. Now we've only got the Nightmare King left. (laughter)

SAM: And his gigantic praying mantis friend. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Does somebody want to hop into the giant machine over there?

TALIESIN: There is a possibility that mantis--

MATT: You still have more movement, if you want to move.

TALIESIN: The mantis is in a cage, clearly.

MATT: You still have your movement, if you'd like it. You have another, that'd be about, let's say about 10 feet you used to get on top of it, so another--

LIAM: Man, I'm really fucked up. I'm going to actually run because I'm so hurt. I got five, 10, 15, about 20.

MATT: Okay, there you go.

MARISHA: Complete that daisy chain.

LIAM: No, no, no.

MARISHA: Just going to make a nice circuit. (laughter)

LIAM: I'll go there. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Yeah, healing's a thing.

LAURA: Witch Bolt is a constitution-- Okay. I can keep it up--

MATT: You can maintain it?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay, you got it. All right, does that finish your go?

LIAM: Sure.

MATT: All right, Laudna, you're up.

MARISHA: Eldritch Blast!

MATT: (laughs) All right, roll for an attack.

SAM: It's that thing that I can do.

MARISHA: It is exactly what I can do! (laughter)

MARISHA: Warlocks, oh, wait, well, okay. (groans) Oh wait, no. (laughter)

MATT: That was a journey. (laughter)

MARISHA: I don't have advantage anymore.

MATT: No, you do not.

MARISHA: Nah, I think that misses.

TRAVIS: Exited the highway, got back on, drove over the median.

MARISHA: Wait, 11.

MATT: 11 does not hit.

MARISHA: No, it was nine. It wasn't even that good.

MATT: You go and fire towards it, and it looks like an impact, but the way the shadows are moving, he wasn't there at all. He's manipulating the space around him, and it's creating this scarier more nightmarish feel in the space, and it goes wide and hits the far stone. (explosion)

MARISHA: Oops, I missed.

MATT: All right, you staying put?

MARISHA: Mm-hmm, I like my corner.

MATT: All right. Finishing your go, that brings us to Chetney.

TRAVIS: (groans) I look up at Ira, and I'll start to make my way around to the right.

MATT: Over here?

TRAVIS: Yeah. Keep going, keep going. Just opening it up so that if anybody wanted to flank on the other side, they could. As I walk, I look up at him and I say: Boy, I bet you think you're real scary. You think Gurge has a gift. (grunts) (growls)

ASHLEY: Oh, there it is! There it is!

MARISHA: Oh!

TRAVIS: Wait 'til you get a load of (ferociously) me! (wolf howl) (yelling)

TRAVIS: My shoulder pops out--

LIAM: Is this real?

TRAVIS: My back cracks.

LIAM: (screams) Yes!

TRAVIS: (grunts)

ASHLEY: (shouts) Let's go! (cheering)

TRAVIS: (roars)

ASHLEY: Oh, look it! (cheering) (clapping) (cheering)

ASHLEY: Yes! (laughter)

LIAM: Oh yes!

SAM: He's a tiny werewolf!

LIAM: He's a terrier!

ASHLEY: I fucking knew it! Yes!

LIAM: Wow!

LAURA: Oh my god!

SAM: Blood Hunter?

LIAM: Wow!

LAURA: Whoa.

ASHLEY: Look at him!

LIAM: Yes!

TRAVIS: Order of the Lupe.

LIAM: Boy.

ASHLEY: Yes!

TRAVIS: You see these claws start to crawl out of his fingers, and as they do, the blood drips out of them and fire comes off of them and he goes: (low growl) I lied. And swipes right into Ira. (cheering) (clapping)

MATT: You're still technically frightened, so you have disadvantage on the strikes.

TRAVIS: Sure.

SAM: A fire werewolf?

ASHLEY: Dude!

TRAVIS: Oh, they're both total balls. (laughter)

TRAVIS: 11 points, or 11 to hit.

MATT: 11 to hit misses, so--

SAM: You also forgot he's tall. (laughter)

MATT: You strike towards him. He pulls the leg back. He's like, "Interesting and unexpected." You still have your bonus action. No, you did transform. You do not.

TRAVIS: I did the change, yeah.

MATT: That finishes your go.

TRAVIS: It does.

MATT: Make a wisdom saving throw to try and resist it. (laughter)

SAM: (yells)

ASHLEY: Yes.

TRAVIS: ♪ I'm not a rogue. ♪ (laughs) Four.

MATT: Four. You are still a little frightened. You're a werewolf but you're like (groans).

TRAVIS: Is it a magical effect? No, it's just against the condition, right?

MATT: Correct, yeah. Okay, that finishes your go.

SAM: Wow.

MATT: It is now Gurge's turn.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

ROBBIE: Sounds like Gurge!

MATT: He goes like, "Ah, that's my boy!" Let's go ahead--

LAURA: Is it your dad? Is Gurge your dad?

SAM: Or brother or husband or?

MARISHA: Uncle.

TALIESIN: Son, possibly.

MATT: Is going to move in. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Travis is just messing with us. We all know that face by now.

MATT: With the advantage of the flanking that you set up, that's going to hit with a 21.

ROBBIE: Gurge, Gurge, Gurge! (laughter)

MATT: He actually attacks twice on this. Okay, yeah, the second one hits too. So Gurge strikes twice.

LAURA: Nice!

MATT: For 12 points of slashing damage. And six points. There we go. So, just try and sinks his claws in once and then strikes a second time from the side of the arm. You see it streak up the side of the sleeve of Ira, flicker for a bit. You can see where the wounds are struck. You expect blood to spatter out, but instead it's this gray mist that (whooshing) just slowly drifts out, like a dark steam from each wound. That's going to finish Gurge's go. From that, that brings us to Fresh Cut Grass.

SAM: Oh god! I haven't been paying attention. People are hurt very badly, correct?

LIAM: Yes.

TALIESIN: Everybody, but yes, these two in particular.

MARISHA: I'm good.

SAM: Oh. (laughter)

LIAM: (undead wheezing)

TALIESIN: I imagine you like the girl in The Ring.

LAURA: ♪ You can't see me. ♪ Oh yes, dang.

LIAM: Just floating with her neck broken.

TALIESIN: Up on the roof.

MARISHA: I need Spider Climb boots real bad.

TALIESIN: Oh man, Spider Climb would rock your world.

LAURA: Oh my god.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Good to know. Keep an eye out.

SAM: I can't charge him. If I use that as a bonus action, I can't use an action. Wait, do I have an-- Oh, I have a Cure Wounds action. That's an action. That's a thing I can do. I'll do that. Okay. Oh, but it's still a spell, so I couldn't use my Spiritual Weapon--

LAURA: No, you can because you're not casting Spiritual Weapon again. Now, you can just attack as a bonus action. You can just attack with it.

SAM: Is that how it works?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT and TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

SAM: I don't believe you. (laughter)

MATT: It's not concentration, just a bonus action, move 20 feet and you can take another attack.

SAM: Okay, okay. I believe you now.

LIAM: That's why it's such a good spell. (laughter)

SAM: Great, great. Well, seeing Chetney turn into a wolf, I will turn to him and say: Well, let's make this a party. And fur starts to crawl out of-- Nah, I'm just kidding. (laughter) (clapping)

LAURA: Mechanical werewolf!

SAM: I am Werebot 2000. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Wow!

MATT: Oh my god.

SAM: No, I'll roll on over to Imogen. I think I can, right? Where is she?

LAURA: I'm behind Dorian.

SAM: Oh, he's going to get an attack, isn't he? Oh maybe not.

MATT: No, he does.

SAM: Oh, okay.

MATT: That's going to be a 23 to hit.

SAM: Sure, sure, that hits, yeah.

MATT: All right, you take--

LIAM: He got a big reach.

MATT: -- eight points of piercing damage and four points of necrotic damage.

TALIESIN: Oh!

LAURA: We need to go, y'all.

SAM: We're doing fine.

ROBBIE: Are we?

SAM: Oh wait, I didn't do that right. I'll fix it later. All right.

MATT: So, now you move back.

SAM: I did and then I will lay my mechanical mitt on her and cast Cure Wounds. Bloop! Which is 1d8 plus three.

MATT: Indeed.

SAM: Seven plus three, 10 points.

LAURA: Oh, wow! Wow!

MARISHA: Oh, that's great.

SAM: Then, I will-- I can't get closer to Mr. Man, but I can say: l'chaim to your health! And I'll take my beer stein and smack him in the back of the head with it.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

MATT: Shifts around to there-- Actually no, he can get it from there. So, yeah.

SAM: Sure.

LAURA: It's a flying beer stein.

SAM: Terrible, five plus five or something like that.

MATT: 10, that misses.

LAURA: I always missed with my lollipop, too.

TALIESIN: It's one of those things. It's just--

SAM: It's all good.

MATT: It's great against enemies with a lower AC. Can be a little tough against the higher enemies.

SAM: I also take her five points of damage from the previous round. Because I wasn't able to get rid of it.

MATT: That's true, yeah.

LAURA: Oh god! Are you okay?

SAM: I'm still alive. I'm a healthy cleric.

MATT: All righty, that finishes your go. At the end of your turn, it's going to use another legendary action. As it sees you doing that across the way, it goes, "Hmm, you spoke, little tin man?" As it leans forward, the head still telescoping towards you, the shadows growing wide, and it's almost like black fire wreathing his face around you as your fear sinks deep into your heart.

SAM: Oh!

MATT: With that, it's going to open his mouth (roars) and a burst of flame shoots forth towards you. That is going to be a 20 to hit.

SAM: Sure, hits.

MATT: You take--

LIAM: He's kicking our asses.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: No, I think fire hurts him.

MATT: You take two points of fire damage.

SAM: (triumphant laugh)

MATT: Double ones on that shit, that's some bullshit.

TRAVIS: That's your second double one.

MATT: Yes, it is fucking lame!

LAURA: It's just telling you that Ira doesn't want to hurt us.

TRAVIS: He wants to hop in his teleporting machine and leave.

MATT: That's true.

TRAVIS: Which is what it is.

MATT: All right, so anyway, that finishes your go. We're back at the top. Fearne, you're up.

ASHLEY: Okay, question.

MATT: Yes?

ASHLEY: Two questions.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Is his wisdom still down? Is he still at a disadvantage?

MATT: Not saving throw, just ability checks.

ASHLEY: Ability checks, okay.

SAM: Doesn't help us in a fight.

MARISHA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: So, that wouldn't work if I--

TRAVIS: Your hex's kind of--

LAURA: Mm-mm.

ASHLEY: Okay. Where is the crystal?

ASHLEY: Did that explode?

MATT: The crystal exploded that he threw on the ground. This device over here still has a glowing energy in the center, but it's a massive arcane device.

ASHLEY: Okay, so I'm going to start with Mister. He's going to throw some flaming shit.

MATT: Go for it. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: (whoosh)

ASHLEY: (sighs) Oh, I don't know if that's going to hit. Wait. Dex, his dex?

MATT: You roll and then add your spell attack modifier.

ASHLEY: Oh, oh, 17.

MATT: 17 just hits.

SAM: Hey!

LAURA: Yeah!

ROBBIE: (whistles)

ASHLEY: I don't know where my brain is, I'm sorry, guys.

MATT: That's okay.

ASHLEY: This is insanity. Nope, it's just one.

MATT: Takes one damage?

ASHLEY: Good grief!

SAM: No, one dice.

MATT: Oh, got you.

ASHLEY: Okay, four.

MATT: Okay, four points of fire damage. Shot him from behind. (splat) (flames roaring) (laughter) And dusts off his shoulder. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Then I am going to walk up to him, sort of next to Gurge--

SAM: "Hey."

ASHLEY: And I'm going to put my hand out on his chest and cast Burning Hands.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Give me two seconds.

MATT: You can do that without hitting your allies, yeah.

TRAVIS: Oh.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: So, it takes a dexterity save? It's level one?

ASHLEY: I'm going to do two, sorry, unless--

MATT: Oh, two, you got it.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: That's a success. So, you roll the dice damage and he takes half.

ASHLEY: Okay. Ehh, that's okay. 10, so five points.

MATT: Okay, five points of fire damage. So, you step forward and (flames roaring) the fire burns past and you can see it charring the bits of his exposed skin and he takes it. The flame vanishes and he leans forward, down towards you, the head towards you and you hear the (sniffs) sniffing sound again, and goes, "You smell familiar, like home. Like (sniffs) Calloway."

SAM: What?

ROBBIE: Whoa!

TRAVIS: Oh shit! Oh shit!

MARISHA: He knows--

MATT: "Interesting."

ASHLEY: You are a-a-a very bad representation of where we come from, but okay.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Oh man.

MATT: Does that finish your turn?

ASHLEY: Yes, that finishes my turn.

SAM: Did you go to high school together?

MARISHA: I know, did he stand up your grandma?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Maybe!

TRAVIS: Not good.

ROBBIE: No.

TRAVIS: Never good.

MATT: So, that finishes your turn. It's now his turn. "I take such pride in my work, and you're spoiling all my fun. Frustrating." He brushes off the edge of his sleeves. He's going to go ahead and Fey Step.

MARISHA: Oh.

ROBBIE: What's that?

MATT: You watch as he folds into shadow and vanishes before appearing right here next to you three.

SAM: (yells)

MATT: (whooshing)

LAURA: You're okay.

MATT: And is going to go ahead and... Hmm. Going to look to you and be like, "Take a little break, my friend."

MARISHA: Oh no.

MATT: I need you to go ahead and make a--

SAM: Counterspell.

MATT: (laughs) Make a wisdom saving throw for me, please.

SAM: 13.

MATT: 13. Where Fresh Cut Grass stands, suddenly his form (whooshes)

SAM: (yelps)

MARISHA: Oh shit.

MATT: Condenses down into a tiny little turtle.

TRAVIS: Oh shit!

ROBBIE: You're a turtle, bitch!

TRAVIS: Shit!

SAM: Is it a yellow turtle? (laughter)

TRAVIS: Oh god!

MATT: I'll use this rat to signify you as a frightened little turtle, because I don't have a turtle on me right now.

TRAVIS: Somebody step on his ass.

LAURA: How can you not have a turtle?

TRAVIS: Change him back.

MARISHA: That's true.

MATT: They're in the other room. I didn't think it would come up again this early. (laughter) Do I have one? I don't have it on me.

LIAM: It's early in the month.

MATT: It is. I prepared things that I thought you would turn into. But you're right there in that space. After that, goes, "There we are." Looks back over towards you, Imogen. "Now." That's going to finish his turn. Rubbing his large hands together. The fingers curling around, grasping the back of the hands.

MARISHA: What? Come on.

MATT: All right, that brings us to Imogen's turn.

ROBBIE: (sighs)

LAURA: I have a question.

MATT: Yes.

LAURA: When somebody has been transformed into something so small-- this probably wouldn't work. Could I... pick F.C.G. up?

MARISHA: Telekinesis his ass.

MATT: Oh yeah.

MARISHA: Throw the turtle at him. LAURA: No. (laughs) (laughter)

MATT: You could physically pick him up, yeah. He's a small turtle.

LAURA: Let me just check my thing because I don't want to do it if-- is there anything, oh gosh. I don't know if it's going to work.

LIAM: He'll take fall damage regardless.

SAM: The turtle has little spinning saw blade hands. (laughter) (saw buzzing)

LAURA: (sighs) I don't know if I can do it, but I'm going to try.

MATT: What are you going to try?

LAURA: I'm going to crouch down and I'm going to hold on to F.C.G. while I'm crouching down and I'm going to go: That's a neat trick. I'm going to try to do the same thing and fold in on myself and cast Misty Step.

MATT: Okay, so as a bonus action, you Misty Step 30 feet, where you want to go?

LAURA: I want to see if I can take F.C.G. with me, if I'm holding onto him. Probably can't do it.

MATT: Does Misty Step say whatever you're holding as well?

LAURA: It just says you can teleport.

MATT: So, no, you would leave him behind unfortunately.

LAURA: I just didn't know because I can take my weapons with me. I can take stuff, so--

SAM: I look up at her with big, bright, hopeful eyes. This is going to be great.

LAURA: That's why I crouched, in case I didn't do it, I didn't want you to fall, too, you know?

MATT: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Where'd she go?

LAURA: I'm going to Misty Step over by that crate against the wall.

MATT: Over here?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: All righty.

LAURA: Yeah. Then I'm going to use my action to hit him again with Witch Bolt.

MATT: Go ahead and roll damage.

LAURA: Oh yeah. Five points.

MATT: Five points of damage to him. "(grunts)" Looks over the shoulder, the head swivels on the top of the neck. "(chuckles)" All right, does that finish your turn?

LAURA: (high-pitched) Uh-huh!

MATT: All right, end of your turn, he's going to go ahead and use a legendary action to make a melee attack against you, Dorian.

ROBBIE: Oh fuck.

MATT: That is going to be a 21 to hit.

ROBBIE: Yow.

MATT: You take 11 points of piercing damage and three points of necrotic.

ROBBIE: And just like that, as if you picked the perfect number from the air. (groaning)

SAM and TALIESIN: Oh no!

ROBBIE: I'm out like a light, baby.

SAM: Our two healers are down.

LIAM: Shit.

MARISHA: (grunts)

LIAM: Shit.

MATT: Spins a bit, looks down at the turtle. looks at the unconscious blue boy on the ground and glances back to you and goes, "You're next, my friend. Unless you'd like to volunteer."

LIAM: I'm good.

MATT: That is going to go ahead and finish Imogen's turn. Now it's Dorian's go. I need you to make a death saving throw.

SAM: A death saving throw!

TRAVIS: 10 or above.

ASHLEY: Come on, come on.

SAM: Don't fail!

ROBBIE: It's a natural 20. (oohing)

SAM: Wait.

MATT: You get a hit point, you come back to consciousness. (screaming, cheering)

ASHLEY: Oh my god! (laughter)

MATT: Yes, yes! That's some luck!

MARISHA: Amazing!

ASHLEY: That is awesome!

TRAVIS: It did you right, man!

ROBBIE: I only speak the truth.

TRAVIS and LAURA: (chanting) I only speak the truth!

TRAVIS, ASHLEY, and MARISHA: I only speak the truth! (laughter)

ROBBIE: What happens now?

MATT: So, I'm going to double check, because I believe--

LAURA: I think that means we just won.

MATT: Whenever you start your turn with zero hit points--

LAURA: That means we won.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: It's the start of your turn, you make it. So, you are at one hit point, you're conscious, you're on the ground, but you still get your turn.

LAURA: Oh, amazing!

ROBBIE: Wow!

SAM: Whoa, at the start of his turn?

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: Is rolling a death save an action or it's just--

MATT: No, it just happens at the start of your turn if you're at zero hit points.

SAM: Amazing.

MATT: So, you fall to the ground and for a second, you slip into the darkness and then something, something inside you, some well of heroic energy, some sort of drive, some willpower pushes you back into a point of consciousness. (pants) You see him turning his attention off of you and back towards Orym as they're having their exchange, not even aware that you are back and full of your capabilities.

ROBBIE: (gasps) Uh. (uncertain sound) He's not focused on me?

MATT: Not at all.

ROBBIE: Okay. And Chet's to my right?

MATT: No, that's--

ROBBIE: Here, kind of?

LAURA: That's F.C.G. as a turtle.

MATT: Chetney's over here.

ROBBIE: F.C.G. as a turtle.

MATT: Tiny turtle.

SAM: Robot turtle. (laughter)

SAM: And the small man is a werewolf.

ROBBIE: Okay. (laughter)

MARISHA: The tables are alive.

ROBBIE: Okay.

SAM: The tables are dead.

ROBBIE: Oh.

SAM: They were alive.

MARISHA: Right now.

ROBBIE: I have a question. He was severely injured before he was turtlefied. Is he a fucked up turtle? Is he still very hurt?

MATT: No, he's a perfect turtle.

ROBBIE: He's a perfect turtle.

MATT: He's a perfect turtle. This is a prize-winning turtle. This one takes home the ribbon at the fair.

ASHLEY: It's beautiful.

SAM: Uh-huh.

ROBBIE: All right, so I am going to quietly-- I've done it before. I'm going to alligator roll away from the bad guy toward those, behind the scary machine.

MATT: Okay, roll a stealth check for me.

ROBBIE: Fuck!

SAM: Stealth.

ROBBIE: ♪ Please let me be stealthy. ♪ 17 plus four is 21.

MATT: So here's the thing. He's not paying attention, he's focused on you, and he's not even considering you as a threat at this moment. So you have a chance to stealth away if you had rolled higher than a 20.

LAURA: (yells)

MATT: So you slowly begin to roll out of this space and begin crawling over into this corner.

MARISHA: The visual in my brain!

ROBBIE: What I really want to do, I don't know if it's within the bounds of reality, but as I roll away, I want to try to reach out for the turtle and grab him with me and roll away with him.

MATT: I'll allow it.

ROBBIE: Is it possible?

MATT: I'll allow it. You are with frightened turtle. Oh, and I need you to go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw to see if you can resist the fear effect, by the way. Because your turn did end.

LIAM: Scared turtle.

SAM: 13 plus five is 18.

MATT: You are no longer a frightened turtle.

SAM: I am embracing you now.

ROBBIE: Oh good, I really hope so. I've got you, it's okay, shh. (laughter)

LIAM: You're a turtle, but you're not turtling. (laughter)

ROBBIE: Do I still get an action?

MATT: You do.

ROBBIE: I will just--

MATT: Stealthily crawl away.

ROBBIE: I'm alligator rolling with a turtle in my arms.

SAM: Wait, I'm not a turtle, or I am a turtle?

MATT: You're a turtle, you're just not a scared turtle.

ROBBIE: I'm going to roll, roll, roll, and get as far as I can, and I'll cast level one Cure Wounds on myself.

MATT: Go for it. Shh.

ALL: (shushing)

ROBBIE: Shut the fuck up.

MARISHA: Don't tell people I'm being selfish.

ROBBIE: Eight.

MATT: Eight, you heal up eight to a total of nine hit points.

TRAVIS: It's not selfish when you have one hit point.

ROBBIE: Yeah, one hit point.

MARISHA: 100%.

ROBBIE: And that'll end my turn.

MARISHA: We need you.

MATT: Okay, you got it. Finishing Dorian's go. Ashton, you're up.

TALIESIN: I'm going to run full fucking speed.

MATT: Right.

TALIESIN: As quietly as I can, roll full speed and I'm going to take--

MATT: Where abouts you want to go?

TALIESIN: I'm going right to the side so that people can flank with me at some point, unless there's a flanking point for--?

MATT: That's one, five, 10, 15 feet here. You can go 15, 20, 25, 30. You can get there, maybe.

SAM: Let's leave. (laughter)

ROBBIE: I was going.

TALIESIN: The door is locked, guys.

MATT: Or you can stay put. Tell me whereabouts on you want to be. There are many ways you can do a flanking point.

TALIESIN: Yeah, if that's the best flanking point I can get right now, I'll take it.

MATT: Okay, so you're not flanking, but you're setting other people up for it. There's no way that you can get flanking this turn.

TALIESIN: All right, and I'm going to-- yeah, fuck it, we're at that point. I'm going to take a Reckless Attack.

MATT: Do it.

TALIESIN: Just going to take a big jump and swing the hammer right at the head.

LAURA: Let's go.

TALIESIN: Yeah, that'll do it. Thank god I did that. That's a 20.

MATT: 20 hits, go ahead and roll damage on that.

TALIESIN: I'm going to throw a Chaos Burst in there, too, just because, you know, we all going to die. Cool, that's a little acid. Let's add that last. So that's okay. 14 points of damage plus one point of acid damage.

MATT: Okay. 15 points of damage on the strike as you rush around. Wham, and as you use the momentum, you sweep with the hammer and as it impacts, you watch this splash of acidic energy (splashes) across the body. Impacts from it, looks back at you.

TALIESIN: We haven't actually met yet.

MATT: "No, but I feel like I'm getting a feel for your capabilities."

TALIESIN: Love the outfit.

MATT: (laughs) He's looking a little hurt. Okay.

MARISHA: A little--

TALIESIN: That's what I got.

MATT: All right, that finishes your turn, Ashton.

ROBBIE: A little hurt?

LAURA: The fact that we've affected him at all is--

TALIESIN: Pretty good, pretty good.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Maybe he's saying that to goad us into staying.

MATT: End of your turn.

TALIESIN: The door's locked upstairs.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Thought I could open it from the inside.

MATT: Let's see, at the end of your turn, he's going to go ahead and take another swipe at you.

LIAM: He is?

MATT: Yeah, he's going to go ahead and use another legendary action.

LIAM: It's a legendary action, oh.

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Can I-- I thought he had emptied those.

LAURA: He had two of them already.

MATT: Well, he's used one already this turn since he had gotten back.

TALIESIN: Is Temporal Morass only at the beginning of his turn, or can I--

MATT: Yes.

TALIESIN: Okay, so this is technically not his turn, this is just him being a dick. Never mind, okay.

MATT: Just being a dick. So as you slam into him, he addresses you, and then without even looking, over towards Orym, rakes his claws in your direction.

LIAM: Mm-hmm.

MATT: That's a natural 20.

LAURA: No!

TALIESIN: (groans)

LIAM: Oh, I got to be down. I mean, roll for damage, but I'm really low.

TALIESIN: Yeah, no.

LIAM: Yeah, I'm down.

MATT: Well... That is 11 points of damage.

LIAM: Down.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Ay-yi-yi.

MATT: He rolled really low, but--

LIAM: I was at nine.

MATT: Okay, yeah, that'll do it. So with that strike, you hear the yelp in pain as Orym crumbles unconscious to the floor. From your perspective, you can now see just based on the shadow there two of your party members on the ground. You have no idea where F.C.G. went and the--

TALIESIN: This is going really badly.

MATT: The figure is beginning to turn around now with a big smile that curls back threatening to crack the head in half as you watch as the edges of the smile begin to expand further and further back almost reaching the holes of the ears, like a trap.

LIAM: Okay, I'm up. (laughter)

MATT: All right, so with that, Orym, make a death save.

LIAM: Natural 20. (cheering)

MATT: No fucking way!

TRAVIS: Are you serious?

MATT: 20, 20, 20. That is insane!

TRAVIS: Come on! Come the fuck on!

MATT: Take a picture of that shit! That is nuts!

ROBBIE: That's karma, let's go!

MATT: I love this.

TRAVIS: What's your heart rate you son of a bitch? (laughter)

LIAM: It's still not good. Okay, so if I come to and I see that, and he's right over me and there's just arms and legs that are like a gigantic arachnid.

MATT: Yeah, this terrifying Slender Man of a figure has written you off now as a threat and is spinning towards the rest of your group.

LIAM: Yeah, I'm going to roll under his legs, body roll, loudly so he sees me.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Then I'm going to spring up and stab him in the fey anus. (laughter)

LIAM: So, the fanus.

LAURA: The fanus!

LIAM: No, I know.

TALIESIN: That close, that close.

LIAM: I was debating whether or not to say that or not I didn't know if it was funny enough or not. Anyway, I stab him in the fanus.

TALIESIN: No, no, no.

MATT: Is that where you wanted to roll through?

TRAVIS: CR-approved. (stamps) Fanus.

LIAM: No, I will roll in and out almost like a Homer Simpson so I'm opposite Fearne.

MATT: Okay, so here?

LIAM: Is that flanking, would you say?

MATT: Fearne is not in combat, so.

LIAM: Yeah, but I have to be in the right place and I was already flanking, so bonus action Feint, that's what the whole roll was for anyway, and I leap up and spring from my back like seven feet into the air because of these boots and stab him in the butt.

MATT: Do it.

LIAM: At advantage. 17 plus six hits.

MATT: That definitely hits, go ahead and roll damage.

LIAM: Five plus six is 11 points of damage.

MATT: 11 points of damage, nice.

LAURA: Plus two, because it's in the butt.

MATT: I mean, yeah, it's true. As you come back down and strike across, looks down and sees that you're no longer where you were, glances back, the head rotates back over to where you are as you land, looking down at you. "Fun!"

LIAM: Covered in blood.

LAURA: Oh no, Orym.

LIAM: I could do this all day. (laughter) That's it, my turn.

MATT: All righty, finishes your go there, Orym. Laudna, you're up, with Chetney on deck.

MARISHA: (gasping) I'm going to come out a little bit and get a little bit closer to Imogen.

SAM: ♪ I'm coming out ♪

MARISHA: Yes, I'm going to try and: How are you? Okay. I'm going to say: Do you give lessons? Eldritch Blast.

MATT: Go for it.

MARISHA: Doing what I do, because I'm a warlock. Okay. All right. 17, 17?

MATT: 17 hits.

SAM: That's good.

MARISHA: Okay, okay. Right?

SAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: No, no, no, I haven't updated that, I don't think that's right, I don't think that's right.

SAM: Is it plus your spellcasting modifier? Plus five?

MARISHA: Plus five, so 16.

MATT: 16 just misses.

LAURA: (groans)

MARISHA: That's what I thought.

MATT: As you release, glancing over in that direction, much like what you're used to exhibiting, you watch as the shadows around his form shift and you once again try and aim towards it, and the body just was always in another position and it goes wide off of the far back wall, splashing against the stone. No effect.

MARISHA: Second turn in a row.

MATT: All right, does that finish your turn, Laudna? All right, ending Laudna's go, we are now up to Chetney with--

TRAVIS: It's not going to be a good turn for me, either, because I'm still frightened. So I can't approach him at all?

MATT: At the moment, no.

SAM: Your attacks are at disadvantage, right?

TRAVIS: Well yeah, even if I could get to him. So I'm going to try and move towards the machine.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: The Machina?

TRAVIS: Can I look at the machine and make an investigation or perception check to figure out what the fuck it does?

MATT: Make an arcana check.

TRAVIS: Sure, arcana, sounds good.

SAM: Everyone's looking and mocking it.

TRAVIS: Ah, no, wouldn't be at advantage.

MATT: No, this is just a straight roll.

TRAVIS: 21.

MATT: 21?

ROBBIE: Shit.

MATT: Uniquely, only because there've been similar devices in where you once hailed from in Uthodurn, there, you glance over, and see that this is a device designed to channel and place arcane energy within a receptacle, arcane receptacles that have a temporary time period before they are detonated. It's used in warfare. It's also used to translocate effects short-term into devices to keep magical effects hidden. It is essentially a power source. It is a massive arcane power source, like a small localized reactor.

TRAVIS: It doesn't look like a weapon I can aim at him in this moment.

MATT: No, nothing you can aim necessarily, no.

TRAVIS: Okay, I will get as close to him as my frightened will allow, which is not much, and I will try and break this thing. By the way, the wisdom saving throw, because it was from magic, do I get advantage on it, or just a single roll?

MATT: It a magical effect, so it would be advantage.

TRAVIS: Hunter's Bane, okay.

MATT: It's at the end of your turn, but.

TRAVIS: It's the end of my turn; I can't do anything else.

MATT: You're not going to do anything--? Okay, cool.

TRAVIS: Well, I mean.

TALIESIN: You could--

MATT: You still have your action, so it's up to you.

TALIESIN: There's stuff you can do.

TRAVIS: To the machine?

TALIESIN: Mm-mm. I mean, there's lots, I'm not going to tell you.

SAM: You don't have any ranged attacks?

TRAVIS: Ranged, nuh-huh. I mean, I-- I guess I could throw a chisel at him. I throw a chisel at him!

MATT: Go for it. You fling it with disadvantage, but go ahead and make your strike.

TRAVIS: Oh, son of a bitch.

LIAM: (like Chetney) Ah-woo.

TRAVIS: (excited noises) 17 to hit!

MATT: 17 just hits. (cheering)

LAURA: Chetney comes out when he's throwing chisels.

TRAVIS: God fucking damn it! Oh, oh, oh! God fucking damn it!

MATT: Well, did you cast your Rite on your claws or on the weapon?

TRAVIS: I only ever first cast it on the chisel.

MATT: That's right, so yeah, you get the extra damage.

TRAVIS: But it wasn't a ton, so it's 10 points of chisel damage.

MATT: 10 points of chisel damage.

TRAVIS: It could've been more!

MATT: (vibrating) It sticks into the back. (grunts) Doesn't even acknowledge you at the moment.

TRAVIS: (low-pitched) Fucker. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Can I roll to try and break this frightened at the end of my turn, since it's the end of my turn.

MATT: Yeah, go ahead and make your wisdom-- Yeah, wisdom saving throw.

TRAVIS: Oh god, 15?

MATT: 15 will do it. (cheering)

ASHLEY: There we go.

ROBBIE: Who's a big tough werewolf? You're so tough, you're so tough.

LAURA: He says, while laying down in the corner.

TRAVIS: With a turtle. (laughter)

ROBBIE: This is my moment.

LIAM: I like turtles.

MARISHA: I like turtles.

MATT: Gurge is going to rush over and take two strikes at-- One is a miss, one is a hit.

LAURA: Yes!

LIAM: Hit and a miss.

MATT: Okay, this does 10 points of damage to Ira. Strikes for a second time as Ira pulls a leg up and ducks out of the way. You watch as it lifts the leg and almost goes to a full extend in the other is now just this pole with a curled spider body above before he extends back down onto his legs. He seems to like take up so much space and then take none and then restore himself to where he was. Very creepy, very graceful, and threatening, even with its soft gentle landing. Gurge is just growling and snarling. That finishes his go. Fresh Cut Grass, with Fearne on deck.

SAM: I will... search for grass.

MATT: Okay. There's none around.

SAM: Well, I'll just walk around Dorian's chest.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Maybe just leave a little poop trail.

TRAVIS: Yep, it'd smell real bad.

SAM: Little snail trail.

MARISHA: Should've hit you.

SAM: And that's it.

MATT: Okay, finishing your go. Fearne, you're up.

LIAM: With great power.

ASHLEY: All right. What do I have the ring around me from?

MATT: You're concentrating on your--

ASHLEY: That's right, that's right, okay.

MATT: -- Flaming Sphere.

ASHLEY: This is so dumb.

LAURA: You're going to do it.

ASHLEY: This is-- I'm going to cast Charm Person.

MATT: Charm Person. Just so you know, Charm Person person affects humanoids. You get the sense that he might be not quite a human.

ASHLEY: Yes, yes, yes.

MATT: May be a little bit beyond that. So just letting you know.

ASHLEY: No, no, no.

MATT: You would know that.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I would know that, okay. Where's Mister? Okay, so I'm going to move Mister.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Up to near me. I think he can get there.

MATT: Is he over here, yeah?

ASHLEY: Yeah. Flame poops.

SAM and MATT: Flame poops!

ASHLEY: 17?

MATT: 17 just hits.

ASHLEY: Okay. Okay. So it's six plus two. Eight points of damage.

MATT: Eight points of damage, you got it.

SAM: I'm like going to die.

ASHLEY: Now can I move the Flame Sphere into him?

MARISHA: Just we all die and you have a turtle life.

SAM: Yeah!

MATT: Impacting him that way, he fails his saving throw. (cheering)

MATT: Go ahead and roll 2d6.

ASHLEY: Okay.

ROBBIE: Nice.

ASHLEY: 10 points.

LAURA: Nice!

MATT: The sphere slams into the side of his knees, the knee buckles for a second. The flames begin to curl up and he has to pat out the flames for a second, glance over in your direction, gives you a nod of respect. All righty, that finish your turn?

LIAM: Jeez, here he comes.

MATT: You still have your action.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: Well, hold on, it's a valid-- So the Flaming Sphere is-- I just remembered your Flame Seed is a bonus action Flaming Sphere slam is a bonus action, you get one or the other.

ASHLEY: Oh, either the Flaming Sphere or the flaming poo?

MATT: Technically.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, let's do the Flaming Sphere because that was better, so I'm going to keep--

MATT: We'll say from a thematic standpoint, the flaming poo hit, but it just brushed the shoulder.

ASHLEY: Yeah, that's fine.

LIAM: It was diarrhea, it didn't really. (groaning)

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was a little liquid-y.

MATT: That's okay, you still have your action, though.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MARISHA: Little flamethrower.

ASHLEY: Okay, so an Ice Knife, I'm going to shoot an ice knife out of my hand.

MATT: Ice Knife, go for it. Go ahead and roll for an attack.

MARISHA: I'm hateful.

LIAM: Snife.

ASHLEY: 16.

MATT: 16 misses, unfortunately. You throw the ice knife and he catches it in the air and it freezes around the fingers for a bit, and he goes, "You are a Calloway," and it scatters out of his hand.

LAURA: Ah, what the fuck? We should talk to him.

ASHLEY: We should talk to him, we should talk to him.

MATT: That finish your turn?

ASHLEY: I mean, yes, but let me just see if I want to move somewhere.

MATT: Yeah, you haven't moved yet.

ASHLEY: I'ma stay, I'ma to stay, I'ma stay.

SAM: Like a Calloway.

ASHLEY: Like a Calloway does. I'll stay.

MATT: All right, that brings it to Ira's turn.

TALIESIN: Just as it is Ira's turn. I'm just going to have a-- there's going to be a little pulse of red-blue energy that's just going to buckle out and they're going to need to make a constitution saving throw.

MATT: That is going to be a seven.

TALIESIN: Yep, nope, so.

MATT: It is a magical effect. He does have advantage on that.

TALIESIN: Is it a magical effect?

MATT: That's a 10.

TALIESIN: Okay, well.

TRAVIS: ♪ Is it a magic ♪

TALIESIN: Yeah, no reactions and their speed is halved for the rest of the round.

MATT: Good to know, okay! So as--

LAURA: No reactions?

MATT: Yep, as the radius around, you watch as the shadows suddenly start moving at half speed and as Ira, after finishing this glance at Fearne sees the rest of you surrounding, looks over and there's like a weird trail as the body moves slightly sluggishly, looks confused for a second, reaches back into the device and flicks something on it, is going to Fey Step over here, brings the clawed hands up and says--

MARISHA: Nope.

MATT: "Friends."

MARISHA: No, no, no, no.

MATT: "This has been an absolute pleasure." You see this dark green energy begin to billow and pulse and angrily you see bits of acid begin to spatter off the sides and glances over towards you, Fearne, "(sighs)" Lets it go.

TRAVIS: What?

MATT: "I hate to leave work unfinished, as I take much pride in what I do, but--" reaches back into the desk behind him and grabs a chest, a heavy chest under an arm, "I've been paid half, good times were had, and I have other ventures to ponder. You were as resourceful as I would hope, hopefully enough to survive," (clicks tongue) winks at you with his dark pupilless eye, "Safe travels," takes a bow, and then Dimension Doors out of the room and is gone.

MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: He spared you?

LAURA: He spared us.

TALIESIN: Are we still in-- Is there still, still initiative?

MATT: There is no immediate threat in the room to be fighting.

TALIESIN: I'm going to look at the machine he just clicked.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Is it doing things?

TRAVIS: The one that he was--

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: -- over by over here?

LAURA: Yeah, he turned a switch on it.

TRAVIS: Oh, we got to get the fuck out of here.

TALIESIN: Yeah, 19.

MATT: 19. You glance into the machine and there are these crystal devices, not unlike the ones that he threw to the ground and shattered earlier, just both pointed towards the center, and they're just very faintly humming.

TALIESIN: It's not growing or anything, though?

MATT: It's hard to notice in a short period of time.

TALIESIN: Okay, I'm just going to keep staring at this, that for as long as this conversation is going on.

MATT: Okay, while that's happening and you're focusing on this, what are the rest of you doing?

MARISHA: Should we try and find him chase after him?

LAURA: He's gone.

TRAVIS: I'm going to race across the room and run back up the stairs just to see what our exit-entrance area looks like.

TALIESIN: Get everybody up, we've got to get out of here.

MATT: You run back and where you were, the door is closed, or the bookcase has been closed back over it.

TRAVIS: I look around, trying to remember what I heard from when Vali came up. Is there a candelabra, or something to pull, or a switch along the door or the backside of the bookshelf?

MATT: Make a perception or investigation check.

TRAVIS: 23.

MATT: 23. Even in this lightless space, actually, yeah, you would have disadvantage on this because you do not have a blindsight. There's no light source up here, so.

TRAVIS: Oh, but I have darkvision.

MATT: That's why you do. So yeah, it wouldn't matter. 23 it is. You see amongst the stone interior, there is a small little slip alcove with an iron bar there and as you reach up and grab it, it gives just about an inch, slides, as it does, the bookcase moves to the side, revealing the inside of the chamber.

TRAVIS: (gruffly) We have an exit.

ASHLEY: (shivers)

LIAM: Orym's racing, limping racing over to that desk, is it as chockablock with stuff as the mini would suggest, or--?

MATT: That's a lot busier than the actual desk is, but glancing at it, you can see there's some odd papers with scribbling that you don't necessarily understand. You can see there's a number of-- It's in a lot of disarray. There is not a lot of order, and it seems a cleanliness to the work that this figure--

LIAM: Well, I jump on the chair and started digging through for anything of importance.

MATT: Okay, so you just grab whatever seems to be--

TALIESIN: I'm going to slowly start edging towards the cage.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I'm going to go over with Ashton.

TALIESIN: Hey, hey, big puppy. Is the thing in here cool?

MATT: "Oh, no, not at all. It's supposed to be delivered out there tomorrow."

TALIESIN: So we're not letting it out?

MATT: "Oh, I would not recommend it."

TALIESIN: Okay.

TRAVIS: Glad we didn't do that.

TALIESIN: Okay, okay. I'm keeping my eye on the machine.

MATT: That hum is getting slightly louder.

TALIESIN: We got to get out of here.

MARISHA: I go and Orym is throwing papers and looking for things of value, I scoop up all the papers.

MATT: Okay, okay.

MARISHA: Just shove them in my belt.

LAURA: You just hear in your head: He spared us for you. What was that about?

ASHLEY: I have no idea. I have no idea. I mean.

LAURA: Calloway?

ASHLEY: Well, we're very famous in the Fey, so very, very, just very, very well known.

LAURA: Is there anyone you can contact about it?

ASHLEY: I could try to ask my Nana somehow?

LAURA: We should do that.

MATT: (electricity crackling)

TALIESIN: As everybody gets out right now. Everybody out, out, out, out.

LIAM: Okay, bolting.

TALIESIN: Go. Bolt.

SAM: I'm going to walk as fast as I can.

SAM: The little turtle.

LAURA: We got you.

ROBBIE: I'll stand up, I'll pick F.C.G. up and put them in my little thing with a little head sticking out right here out of my breastplate.

LAURA: You just drop the turtle poop down your shirt.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: (electricity crackling)

TALIESIN: We're booking up.

ASHLEY: But before we run out, I'm going to--

TALIESIN: I am not waiting for you, so.

ASHLEY: Don't, you don't have to. I'm going to take one of the legs of one of the broken tables and I'm going to throw it in for the creature. Just in case you want to get out. I hate when people are stuck somewhere or things. Bye.

MATT: (growls) All right, as you all begin to charge up the steps, you, one by one, begin to emerge into the familiar office of Vali, the exterior very cold, still raining wind of the night waits for you outside the shattered window.

LAURA: Shit.

MATT: You begin to hear just faintly down the hallway. (loud humming)

LAURA: Run, run, run.

TALIESIN: Keep going.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Out the window.

LIAM: Orym's just pushing Laudna.

TALIESIN: Jumping out the window.

MATT: You all jump out the window as you do so, there is one patrolling guard that is wandering and about 30 feet away from the window who turns over and sees you all leaping out the window onto the ground. "Hey, hey, what are you doing?"

LIAM: Ghosts!

LAURA: Run, run!

MATT: "What, no," looks over at you, "What?"

TRAVIS: (roars)

MATT: Roll an intimidation check.

TRAVIS: 19!

MATT: 19. "(screams)" Just runs the other way. ROBBIE These guards are having a tough one.

MATT: Yeah, no joke.

MARISHA: I quickly scan-- as we're running-- quickly scan the horizon. Do I see Crispin Glover anywhere? (laughter)

MATT: Roll a perception check.

TALIESIN: Wow.

MATT: You figured out my plot so easily! It is him.

MARISHA: No, I can't roll like-- 10.

MATT: No sign. Nothing here in what is now currently the--

TRAVIS: Didn't we leave a rope over the wall?

MATT: Yeah, there's a rope.

LAURA: Run back towards that.

MATT: Okay, as you now step, or are now in the rain that's been hitting you in this point in the wee, dark pre-sunrise hours of the morning. You rush over to the wall and, one by one, climb over it. You manage to step onto the cobblestone and the exterior street there. What do you do?

TRAVIS: I change back into Chetney.

SAM: Are you naked?

TRAVIS: You bet your ass, but I grabbed all my clothes on the way out.

MATT: Did you grab your chisel as well?

SAM: Oh, no, it was in his back.

TRAVIS: I don't have a chisel.

TALIESIN: We can get you another--

TRAVIS: A man is not made by his tools! The man makes the tools.

LIAM: Do we hear anything behind us in the distance?

MATT: You hear this distant. (quiet crackling)

TALIESIN: Let's keep walking.

LIAM: A slow walk.

LAURA: Yeah, a slow walk look like all the sudden we--

MATT: Gurge reverts back to himself. You can now see Gurge, his rough looking burly physique, sun scarred skin, and unkept dark beard with streaks of white in it and with this long curly mop of oily dark brown hair.

MARISHA: Is he naked now, too?

MATT: He's wearing pants, but that's it. You can see there are scars of many wounds carved across his body that have like long healed and a few that are fresher. He says, "Does anyone have a cloak I can borrow?"

ASHLEY: Do you want my cape?

MATT: If you don't mind.

ASHLEY: There you go.

MATT: Throws it on, "Might smell after."

ASHLEY: That's okay.

MATT: There's a lack of manners and just a generally rough persona around this--

ASHLEY: I just tie the bow in the front.

MATT: "Thank you kindly. Let's move." As you all begin to walk, you can hear some shouts over the wall, some voices go, "What's? You hear that? What's happening?"

MARISHA: As it's happening, I turn around to see what happens as we're going.

LAURA: I want to stay off the main road, too, like shuffle everybody off the main walkway.

TALIESIN: Yep, I'll turn. Start walking backwards.

MATT: You can hear the sound of crackling and the hum getting louder and louder, and you can just barely see just past the wall little flashes of blue and it goes quiet.

MARISHA: Uh oh.

LAURA: Run.

MATT: (explosion) There is a massive flash and this wave of blue purple energy and then (air collapsing) silence. Pieces of rock and stone and pebbles begin to rain from above. (crash) A heavy chunk, about 200, 300 pounds just hits the ground next to you.

ASHLEY: Run!

TALIESIN: Now we run again.

ALL: Run, run, run, run!

MATT: You all just start running into the rain. (impacts) I need-- (laughter)

MATT: -- Dorian and Chetney to go ahead and make dexterity saving throws.

TRAVIS: Not a problem.

ROBBIE: Ooh, not great.

TRAVIS: (screams) Natural 20!

MATT: Nice!

ROBBIE: Half of that, 10.

LAURA: Oh, and you're carrying F.C.G.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

TRAVIS: 24.

MATT: Okay, you just manage to-- Your lupine senses kick in. You hear the sound coming before anybody else does. You just dart out of the way as a heavy piece of rubble from the Moon Tower slams in the ground next to you. You just duck out of the way, feeling the spray against your face as you continue forward. Dorian, you're not so lucky. A chunk ends up barreling and hits the ground behind you. You hear the sound. You have just enough time to go, "Uh oh," and look over your shoulder as it rolls and slams into you, sending you and the turtle forward. You both take 10 points of bludgeoning damage.

TALIESIN: You're back down again, aren't you?

ROBBIE: I am back out like a light, but I've got a tiny turtle cradled in my arms as I'm unconscious.

MATT: As you lay on the ground, the turtle emerges back into Fresh Cut Grass.

SAM: It's one point of damage to the turtle and nine points to me? Okay. Great.

TALIESIN: I am guarding the two of them now. I saw them go down. Turning around and watching for debris to fall.

MATT: The debris is now starting to lessen, but you can now see lights going on all throughout the district. People are starting to come out through doors to glance over in that direction. You can hear more shouts. More guards and wardens begin to charge from past the direction that you were heading towards heading into where the towers were.

LAURA: I get my arms under Dorian's armpits.

TALIESIN: With a potion! Get Dorian up.

SAM: I got him! I got him! I'll touch him and I'll cast Cure Wounds on Dorian, giving him five points of healing.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: You okay?

ROBBIE: (gasps) You're not a turtle anymore!

SAM: You're not dead anymore. Here, you're injured. Hop on my back. I'll wheel you like you carried me.

ROBBIE: Okay, like a unicycle?

SAM: Yeah, like a unicycle.

ROBBIE: Do you have little pegs on your wheels?

SAM: Yeah!

ROBBIE: All right, okay! (laughter)

SAM: Just pull them down.

MATT: As you all begin to charge away from the chaos, you can see people emerging into the street, asking questions, spreading rumors on thoughts of what might've happened. More wardens begin to appear, as the bits of stone still begin to gently rain down with the drops of water from the sky around you. The heavy fog still gathered around your knees and below along the streets, this side of the Core Spire.

MARISHA: Let's get off this fucking spire for a bit.

TALIESIN: Oh please, yes.

MATT: Darting back further into the rain.

LAURA: I want to look around, at the last moment and see if I see the Nightmare King around in the shadows anywhere.

MATT: Make a perception check.

MARISHA: ♪ Roll higher than me ♪

MATT: With disadvantage because it is a dark night and there are not a lot of lights around.

TRAVIS: And shit is exploding.

LAURA: I know, I know. No, terrible.

SAM: Two natural 20s!

LAURA: Two natural 20s! Who knew?! No, it was like a five.

MATT: Peering as far as you can, the anxiety within you and the quickened breaths prevent you from focusing too much as the rain is now soaking you through, and the instinct to just survive takes over. As a crew, you begin to head as far away from this portion of the district as you can, towards wherever safety might be in the city, and that's where we're going to take a break. (groaning)

SAM: That's fine, it's fine.

ROBBIE: What a fight!

TALIESIN: We got our asses handed to us.

MARISHA: I did not do good that one.

TRAVIS: That's a big boy.

ASHLEY: That was rough.

SAM: He killed a lot of furniture. It's fine.

TRAVIS: I feel like we know more about each other now. (laughter)

MATT: Well, we'll pick up from there in a few minutes. We'll see you guys here shortly.

Break
(raven cawing) Narrator: Evil rises. Our only hope lies in these brave warriors. (dramatic music) (dwarf grunting) What the fuck? Narrator: Right. Who else have we got? Crowd: Chug, chug, chug! (Trinket moans) (Grog burps) I'm sorry, who the hell are you? We're Vox Machina, we fuck shit up. (upbeat music) Let's go. (gun fires) Come on, come on, work. ♪ Scanlan's hand ♪ Man: You can't be seriously considering them for such a task. Vex: Our reputation is less than stellar. (upbeat music) If killing for gold isn't getting us anywhere, maybe we try doing some good this time. Group: Nah. Grog: Boring. (upbeat music) Woman: Kill Vox Machina! (upbeat music) Vax: If this evil persists, the kingdom will starve to death. (upbeat music) Oh, oh yeah, oh, oh. Shh. Light 'em up. (upbeat music) I suggest we run right now. Fuck that, we fight! (Grog roars) (dramatic music) (Pike screams) (upbeat music) Grog, you're hurt. No big. Question, is this normal? Oh no. Holy shit. (upbeat music)

MATT: From Darrington Press, experience the dawning of a new age with Tal'Dorei Campaign Setting Reborn, the definitive 5e source book that brings the land of Tal'Dorei to your game. Rediscover the land of Critical Role's Vox Machina 20 years after their campaign, with new maps, detailed guides for each region, and a fold-out map of the continent. Delve into Tal'Dorei's hidden histories with this nearly 300-page tome containing nine dazzling subclasses, five rich backgrounds, and dozens of new creatures, feats, and magic items, including the Vestiges of Divergence. Explore uncharted waters with the Oath of the Open Sea paladin, unlock the arcane secrets of hemocraft as a blood magic wizard, defend the land from elemental chaos with the Ashari background, or even come face to face with the legendary heroes of Vox Machina themselves, complete with official stat blocks, portraits, and biographies, detailing their lives 20 years later. The future of Tal'Dorei is in your hands now. How do you want to do this? Tal'Dorei Campaign Setting Reborn, available now at Critical Role's shops.

LAURA: Hey Critters, Laura Bailey here to guide you through what's new in the Critical Role Shop. (gasp) Could anything be more perfect? Oh, so comfy cozy. Look at this! Isn't it fashion? So much fashion happening. The cuteness! It's overpowering. It's so cute. I can't handle it. And hey, if you want, you could head over to the Critical Role shop right now.

(mysterious music) (typewriter clicking) (mysterious music) (inspiring music)

MARISHA: Hey Critters, it's me, Marisha Ray. I had exactly a minute and a half of free time today, so I thought I'd make a little unboxing video for y'all unpacking everything you get with a Twitch subscription to Critical Role. (bright music) Okay. Safety third. (ethereal voices laughing) What the fuck was that? (Marisha exclaiming in awe) So the first thing we've got here is our live and professionally-moderated chat. Twitch is the only place that you can actually get this. You know, it's a little strange to hold because it's an amorphous concept, but honestly, you can't deny this craftsmanship. It's really well made and, aw, oh, you can post links in this, too! That's really cool, so yeah. Put that in your chat and click it. Oh yeah, this is cool. This is the ability to watch all of Critical Role's VODs immediately after the live broadcast ends and before they're uploaded to YouTube. Oh, it smells like ranch. Oh wait. Oh no, that's me. I had ranch on my salad earlier. Yeah, this smells like nothing. Oh, oh, here we have (Marisha grunting) gift subscriptions, which you can either give to a fellow Critter by name or at random using a fancy Twitch algorithm. You can give away a lot of subs with this, which I guess is why it's so heavy for something that's technically non-tangible with a value that's deeply subjective to the consumer. Oh, sick, yeah, I'm so excited to show y'all this part. With a Twitch subscription to Critical Role, you can use all of our incredible custom emotes in chat. We have so many emotes in here. Let's see, we art dad, super cool. We got Ashley hype, fun one. Look at Trinket here. He's so, oh, oh god. (clattering and crashing) Oh god. Broom, broom. Hang on, I can fix this. I can fix this. I'm fixing it! Jerry! Oh god, okay. I'm sorry, Trinket. (machine whirring) Yeah, that'll work. I need more glue, this is not gonna be enough. (tape ripping) Don't tell Rachel, okay? Okay, please nobody. (metal clanking) Shapiro, will you cut all this out? (electronic buzzing)

Part II
MATT: And welcome back. (laughter) So, as we left off, you were all carefully, quickly escaping into the rain of the evening, away from the Moon Tower. Or at least, the destruction left behind, you assume, from where the Moon Tower once stood. As you all headed back to wherever you thought safety was. Which by the way, where are you headed?

LAURA: Where are we going?

SAM: Oh yeah.

LIAM: Gondola ride, anyone?

SAM: Wait, which spire are we on?

MARISHA: Maybe we should go by--

MATT: You're higher up in the Core Spire.

MARISHA: Maybe to the Lantern?

TRAVIS: Will they shut down the gondolas?

LAURA: The Lantern Spire.

SAM: You were a wolf!

TRAVIS: What?

SAM: You were a wolf!

TRAVIS: Yeah, but you're a turtle.

TALIESIN: I feel like this is a conversation for the ride.

LIAM: Yeah, put a pin in it.

TALIESIN: Guys, guys?

LIAM: Put a pin in it.

TALIESIN: We can cover who was who over drinks.

ASHLEY: Yes, yes, yes. I think that's a great idea.

MATT: "Good call."

LAURA: Lantern Spire.

MATT: "Right."

MARISHA: Yes, Spire By Fire. Spire by fire.

SAM: You were a wolf, too!

MATT: "Big whoop-de-doo. Let's get--"

SAM: Did you "big whoop-de-doo" me?

MATT: "I think I did."

SAM: Wow, all right. I like this Gurge. All right, we're going to the Spire By--? You sure we don't want to go visit... No, we just saw him.

LAURA: We just saw him. We need to give him some time. Or rather, I need some time.

ASHLEY: Pretty?

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Oh yeah. It's not going to work out anyway, so.

SAM: We can still be friends. Anyway, let's go to the Spire By Fire.

MATT: All right, so taking the gondola. That's a silver from each of you. Gurge looks over to you and goes, "I got no cash."

TRAVIS: I got you, I can float you.

LIAM: Chetney's buying.

TRAVIS: I'll cover everybody.

LAURA: (whispers) Chetney.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

SAM: You will?

LAURA: You keep saying it like "Chutney."

MATT: The--

LIAM: I said Chetney.

MARISHA: Deep pockets.

SAM: Secrets.

MATT: The green scaled dragonborn that's currently running this side of the gondola entryway, as he's collecting your change goes, "So did all of you hear this loud noise up from the--"

SAM: Nope!

MATT: "What is happening up there?"

TALIESIN: That shit was crazy.

SAM: Crazy. What?

MATT: "What? People are rushing over that way. I've seen more wardens coming around the corner. What happened up there?"

TALIESIN: No fucking clue.

MARISHA: It's just weird. We should just go then, shouldn't we? Before it gets too busy.

MATT: "Okay, no, come on. Keep safe, keep safe." He closes the doors behind you. (doors shutting) At this early of the hour, there is nobody else in this gondola. So it's just the eight of you and Gurge.

SAM: Early, like early at 1:00am? Or early at, what time is it now?

LAURA: 3:00, 4:00. It was right before sunrise, right?

MATT: It is pre-sunrise. You're not quite sure the hour right now. If you'd like to, someone can make a survival check to ascertain the specific.

TRAVIS: Is this warden on the gondola with us?

MATT: There's no warden with you. It's just Gurge and you guys. So the person you were talking to was the person who was manning the gondola entry. And just closed the door behind you.

TRAVIS: Oh, okay, so he stays where he was.

MATT: Yeah, he's one who's letting people on and off.

SAM: I got 11.

TRAVIS: He's going to rat us out.

TALIESIN: 11.

MARISHA: Are we all rolling survival checks? To see if we know what time it is?

SAM: Yeah, that's it.

MARISHA: It's so cloudy. 11.

SAM: I think it's 11. It's about 11.

TALIESIN: Roll for time.

ROBBIE: Five, but I'm enjoying the unicycle ride.

SAM: Oh yeah, you can hop off now. I mean, if you want.

ROBBIE: Nope, this is nice.

MATT: As a note, half of your group is still covered in your own blood.

LIAM: Yeah, I was about to say. Orym is sitting with his hands clasped. He looks over at Dorian riding on F.C.G., and with a stream of blood coming from his hair down into his eye: You don't look so good.

ROBBIE: You look worse.

LIAM: I can't see.

LAURA: Oh.

ASHLEY: What do you mean?

LAURA: I don't have any healing, but--

TALIESIN: I have cloths.

SAM: I can cure some wounds.

LIAM: I can see.

TALIESIN: Okay.

ASHLEY: I'm going to go stand behind Orym and cast Cure Wounds.

SAM: Oh!

MARISHA: You can do--

LAURA: What?

MARISHA: Sorry, what?

TALIESIN: She's been holding onto that.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Man, we're so dazed. Did you get anything from him?

LAURA: Yeah. I tried, I tried. He laughed inside my head and said--

MATT: Not to interrupt, but where are you guys going?

LAURA and MARISHA: The Lantern Spire.

MATT: Okay, got it.

SAM: Just drive, all right? (laughter)

MATT: Fucking dick.

TRAVIS: Holy shit. All pleasantries out the window.

TALIESIN: Wait, do you have Charter?

TRAVIS: Whoop-de-doo.

MATT: I think I might!

TALIESIN: Just as a point of reference for everybody. Because since clearly I... Hmm. When you leave the site of an explosion covered in blood, there is nothing more suspicious than saying, "I didn't hear or see anything"!

MARISHA: That's a good point.

TALIESIN: Just say, "Yeah, that shit was crazy, and I don't know what fuck the happened, but we're bleeding and going home." We're going to get caught, motherfuckers.

ASHLEY: Well, from as far as they knew, we just had a wild night. I understand where you're coming from.

TALIESIN: I feel like you know, though. I feel like you know. You of all people.

TRAVIS: Anyone else in this gondola? Can you stick your hand out and get some rain?

MATT: Yes, there are open exterior portions.

LAURA: There's open exterior points?!

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: Cool, I knew that.

TRAVIS: Stick your hand out and get a little.

LAURA: No, I'm all right.

TALIESIN: I'll get a little.

MATT: Gurge, at this point, is reaching out, and (slurps) sipping from the rain and collecting it.

LIAM: I'm sticking my head out Blade Runner-style.

TALIESIN: There you go.

LIAM: (groans)

MARISHA: I toss Gurge my water skin.

MATT: (whip crack) (gulps) He squeezes it dry.

ASHLEY: I take out my straw. Would you like something a little more substantial? Booze?

MATT: "No. What?"

ASHLEY: All right.

MATT: "No."

LIAM: You can see Sam's tonsils.

MATT: He tosses you the empty skin.

SAM: I don't know what I have in me right now. Is it coffee? Or is it old coffee, or is it booze?

TRAVIS: Do you want some peanuts?

TALIESIN: Possibly a bit of both now.

MATT: "Yeah."

TRAVIS: There you go, here's three peanuts.

LAURA: You're becoming your old tankard.

SAM: Uh-huh!

TRAVIS: Jrusar peanuts are the best.

MARISHA: Gurge, he said he was trying to extrapolate your curse? I'm assuming he means your little wolf situation?

MATT: "Yeah, yeah."

MARISHA: Did he succeed? What was?

MATT: "He had me bite three volunteers."

SAM: And turn them into lycanthropes?

MATT: "There's a good chance, aye."

ASHLEY: Wait, three what?

SAM and LAURA: Volunteers.

LAURA: That's what would've happened to us? You would have bit us?

MATT: "I guess so. That probably is why he was keeping me."

LAURA: Is that what happened to you, did you bite him?

MATT: "No, I didn't bite him. I don't where the fuck this one came from!"

SAM: Did-- Oh.

ASHLEY: Is that how you all know each other?

TRAVIS: I mean, you know? Same smell.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: "By the way, you all smell."

TALIESIN: I know.

SAM: I can't smell.

TRAVIS: Except for Letters. He doesn't smell much.

MATT: "You smell like old whiskey."

TRAVIS: Oh, yeah.

MATT: "No, I passed."

ASHLEY: How long were you there?

MATT: "Just a couple of days. Three days maybe, I don't know. Wasn't much sunshine down there where they kept me, so that's a guess."

TRAVIS: You didn't happen to catch the names of these volunteers, did you?

MATT: "No, no. They were all just dressed up in leathers. Looked like they were armed to the teeth. Some sort of a, I don't know, sellsword?"

SAM: But they were willing volunteers?

MATT: "Yeah, they were all brought in by whatever."

TRAVIS: Like weapons?

SAM: Super soldiers.

MARISHA: They all lived?

MATT: "Aye, they just put their hands through the bars. You know, either had me bite them, which I didn't do at first, but they went ahead and strapped me down to the table, and cut me until I did."

ASHLEY: How hard do you have to bite? Just a little nibbies?

MATT: "Just have to break blood. Same way I got us."

ROBBIE: I don't know much about-- What exactly are you?

SAM: Kind of rude.

MATT: "I'm just a man who lives on his own."

ROBBIE: Ooh, sorry. I hop off. (laughter) I forgot you were between my legs.

TRAVIS: Off the pegs.

MATT: As the cables shaking back and forth, he goes, "(heavy sigh) I-- I'm a-- I'm a retired wanderer."

MARISHA: People call you a wild man. It's pretty cool.

MATT: "Boo."

MARISHA: So did you ever hear mention of the Paragon's Call?

MATT: "No."

MARISHA: Oh.

SAM: You've been here for a long time, or--?

MATT: "I've been living in Marquet for about I don't know, better part of a decade."

SAM: Marquet?

MATT: "Aye, aye."

SAM: But then you got here, you came here for a visit, or you were kidnapped?

MATT: He's just eyeing each of you intensely.

TRAVIS: It's okay.

LAURA: We just saved your life.

MATT: "I know, I know. It's just it's been a fucking week."

TRAVIS: I hired them to come and find you after I couldn't find you at your spot. I came and you were gone, and the place was tossed.

MATT: "I had a strange feeling you weren't going to just go away. So, I mean, thank you. But also, (sighs) I am originally from Wildemount. I had some friends, we were kind of a band of hunters. And then I caught the disease. When I realized this disease was a bit tough to keep a tamp on. Tamp. On." (laughter)

SAM: I'm with you.

MATT: "I--"

ASHLEY: Those come in useful sometimes, once a month.

MATT: Goddamn it. (laughter) "I was sent this way to find some folks who could help me try and keep a leash on it, if you will. And they did. So yeah."

MARISHA: It sounds like your story.

LIAM: Yeah, do you want to revise that story, at this point?

SAM: Are we at the bar yet?

LAURA: We're still on the gondola.

SAM: Long ride.

MATT: So we just now will say, for the purposes of this, you arrived back at the Lantern Spire.

TRAVIS: Oh, we're here.

MATT: Where are you going at the Lantern Spire?

TALIESIN and MARISHA: Spire By Fire.

MATT: Spire by Fire is-- Okay.

LAURA: Spire By Fire's in the Core?

MATT: It's in the Core.

LAURA: Which one's in the Lantern?

MARISHA: Which one's the Lantern Spire one?

ASHLEY: Wearies?

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: Lantern Spire has The Weary Way.

ALL: (mispronunciations of "Weary Way")

MATT: The Babwa Wawa?

LIAM: So the rural juror?

MATT: Yes.

ASHLEY: Rural juror.

TRAVIS: We should make a shared note card about spires and locations.

TALIESIN: I have it all, actually, I'm just, yeah.

LIAM: Hoarding it.

TRAVIS: Make a note card for us. [ice in liquid clanging against metal]

SAM: To the Weary Way.

LAURA: (imitates ice clanging)

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: I actually did this right before break, what's on which spire.

LAURA: You did.

LIAM: I should use it.

MATT: I should send you guys a sketch, actually. I'll do that. I'll do that. But I don't have it tonight, so.

LIAM: So we're in Lantern?

MATT: So you arrive in the Lantern Spire. The rain's still coming down. Not quite sure what hour it is. With the mists growing high above the jungle and starting to caress the streets, and the faint, distant bit of twilight, you get the sense that either the sun's going to rise in the next half an hour, the next hour, next two hours. It's hard to pick out at this point. So you head to the Weary Way tavern. Kamala is not currently holding the front. It looks to be a young tavern hand that seems to be staying awake through the hours in which it is mostly empty. And it is. There's going to be one person whose conscious is in the process of just writing notes in a small journal. Everyone else who's in the room is either passed out drunk at their table, or is in the process of heading up to their room and leaving. But if you want to gather a room for privacy, you can.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Pay for a chamber. Multiple rooms, or a singular room to fit all of you? There is one room that can fit the whole troop of you.

LAURA: Yeah, let's do that, and ask for a couple of basins of water as well, please.

MATT: Okay, easily enough done. That'll cost you one gold for the room for the night.

LAURA: All right.

ASHLEY and LAURA: I'll--

ASHLEY: I'll take it, I'll do it.

LAURA: Are you sure, Fearne?

ASHLEY: Oh yes.

MATT: Okay. You all settle inside the chamber, close the door behind, and you can see Gurge takes off the cloak that was borrowed to him by Fearne over there. Hands it back, then immediately shakes off the rest of the rain that's gathered around him before sitting down on a stool. "Anyone got, like, food?"

LAURA: Oh, I think I have... (laughs) So appropriate. A pink bear claw, that's pretty stale at this point.

MATT: (chewing) He just, without question, begins to bite into what, you can hear by the sound of his eating, is a very stale pastry.

LAURA: Yeah, I forgot about it.

MATT: Doesn't bother him at all. Finishes is cramming it.

ASHLEY: I take a big sniff of the--

MARISHA: Leftover from Campaign 2?

SAM: The cape.

ASHLEY: The cape, I put it on. (laughter)

MATT: It is quite musky. (laughter)

TRAVIS: I've been slightly subversive in my story to you originally. I'm sorry to have sold a story that sent you down a long and detailed river, only to have you buy in completely, then have the rug pulled out from under you.

ASHLEY: Oh.

TALIESIN: How are rivers detailed, and why is there a rug in the river?

TRAVIS: You've never had a rug in the river?

TALIESIN: No.

TRAVIS: Oh, you're missing out.

LAURA: We could've gotten killed. That thing brought down an entire tower.

TRAVIS: You're getting paid!

SAM: Are we?

LIAM: I spent a hundred gold for you.

SAM: Maybe we should forgive and turn over a new leaf, and start by being honest with each other.

TRAVIS: Oh, sure. This is Gurge.

MATT: "Hey."

TRAVIS: He's a lycan. My name's Chetney Pock O'Pea. I'm also a lycan.

MARISHA: I mean, that works for me.

LAURA: Yeah, I mean.

MARISHA: Yeah, it's great.

SAM: Do you know each other?

TRAVIS: No!

MATT: "Briefly."

TRAVIS: I mean, yeah, sort of. He's not a master craftsman, and he's not really going to help me find work. That was all horseshit.

SAM: Why did you want him so badly?

TRAVIS: Well, he told you, he sort of used to run with a group of hunters.

MATT: "It's a group called the Claret Orders in Wildemount."

SAM: The Clariotas?

MATT: "The Claret Orders."

TRAVIS: Orders.

ASHLEY: Claret Orders.

MATT: "They are, the best I can explain, a group of fringe society monster hunters. Kind of fell in with them for a bit. It was, you know, best prospects for a bit of change. It was better than begging on the streets for a bit. Learned a few skills, learned a bit of a unique craft, until I contracted this disease in a hunt. Kind of exiled myself for a bit until I heard tales of intelligent werebeasts out here in the Gloomed Jungles of Marquet. Was nearly killed multiple times trying to get myself here. 'Til I finally found the Gorgynei. Which is a sect of... Well, do they know about where you're from?"

TRAVIS: No, well, no. You can-- Hit them.

MATT: "There's a bunch of warriors who use hemocraft, a blood-based arcana that you can harness your own life essence to smite your enemies, if you will. One sect of these hunters was known as the Gorgynei. Apparently, they've learned to harness this curse that I acquired in Wildemount. So, I was told to go seek them out before I went absolutely wild and started murdering everyone around me as a crazed wolf man. Came down here, found and ran with them for a few years. Learned to harness this beast. Worked out fine 'till I had a falling out with the leadership, and preferred my existence out here in the wilds where I could just be a lone... wolf, if you will." (laughter) "It's great for a while, living on my own. Did my hunting for my food. Built a little knot in the middle of a jungle. No one bothered me."

MARISHA: What was your falling out? What was the drama? Spill the tea.

MATT: "No. 'Till this gnarled stump of a man wandering into my life about a week ago. Wouldn't leave me alone, until I agreed, so I showed him a few things. Helped him, maybe, rein in his beast a bit. Got a bit greedy, so I was going to pawn him off on my only friend here, Ajit. And maybe they could direct him to the Gorgynei, and where they run about these days, because I lost track of them a long time ago. I was barely here as I tried to find Ajit. Hopefully to introduce you two before I got swept up by this whole fucking... conspiracy, if you will."

LAURA: Did they search you out?

ASHLEY: Ajit?

MATT: "Seemed to be."

TRAVIS: Yeah, you didn't wolf out around any guards or anything, they just seemed to get the jump on you? Like they knew?

MATT: "I guess some folks know more than they let on. I've lived in this space for almost 10 years, so I guess a few folks have their rumors. So I don't come into the city 'til someone fucking shows up and forces me to walk the streets. It's fine. It's fine."

LAURA: You called it a disease or a curse? Aren't those kinds of things curable?

MATT: "But they come in handy on occasion."

LAURA: All right.

MATT: "Which only occurs if you don't know how to utilize it properly."

ROBBIE: Yes, exactly that. I always thought it was a full moon kind of thing. And then you couldn't really control it, and you two seem to do it at will.

MATT: "Oh, it gets a bit dicey around the full moon, aye. But, for the most part, we've learned a few things. See, this blood magic I mentioned earlier, it helps keep the chains on it, like a muzzle. You can just let it go at times when you're feeling frisky."

MARISHA: But what happens on a full moon?

TALIESIN: Which moon?

MARISHA: Oh, that's true.

MATT: "Catha drives it mostly. But when Ruidus is high in the sky, well, everyone's kind of at a disadvantage."

TALIESIN: That's pretty fucking cool.

MATT: "Which, by the way, we're getting close to a zenith here in the coming weeks. You best be looking out."

TRAVIS: (nervous laugh)

MATT: "You all best be looking out if you're traveling with this one. (chuckles)"

LIAM: Are you traveling with us at this point, or--?

TRAVIS: Well, I mean, now, look, I'm sort of invested because I also, your toys are in production. So, I mean, you could pay me for the services rendered up to this point, or I could continue to engage with you on a professional basis.

ASHLEY: How are you going to do that if you don't have a chisel?

TRAVIS: I don't need a chisel to make love out of wood.

SAM: Oh my god.

ASHLEY: Whew!

TRAVIS: I have other tools. I pull out a wood file, pull out a hook. There's a whole assortment of tools here. A chisel is just the most direct line to success.

MARISHA: We can get you another chisel. There's got to be a chisel in this city.

TRAVIS: For sure.

SAM: Are you a new lycan?

TRAVIS: Relatively.

SAM: Does it scare you to be this way?

TRAVIS: I mean, a little, but it's pretty fucking great.

ASHLEY: How did it happen to you?

TRAVIS: Oh, well, when I was chased out of Uthodurn by the Glassblades guard, I messed up my employer something fierce. We had a disagreement, and I got chased down into the woods and I was trying to trap some food and came across a creature, I thought. It ended up biting me, and when I killed it, it turned back into a human. Anyway, some of these hunters that he's talking about, they found me and they were going to (cries) Going to do it. But I was able to keep the change at bay. I had some control.

MARISHA: You said you're from Wildemount as well. Are you both from Uthodurn?

MATT: "I am not from Uthodurn, no."

LIAM: And now, what? You are going to head off with Gurge, and learn to better master all this?

MATT: "No, fuck no. I'm leaving this behind and I'm done. I'm out. Going back to my hole. Stop bothering me."

TRAVIS: I just need a little more information on where they are and then I won't bother you.

MATT: "I don't fucking know where they are. I haven't seen them in five, six years, at least."

TRAVIS: But you got to know somebody here that could point us in the right direction? You got a Rolodex or something that's...

MATT: "Okay." Make a persuasion check.

TRAVIS: I only saved your ass.

MARISHA: Come on.

TRAVIS: What? (laughter)

TRAVIS: How do you feel about a three? (laughter)

TALIESIN: Even by fantasy world basics, also, Rolodex makes you sound old. (laughter)

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Well. Dewey Decimal. (laughter)

MATT: "I mean this in the nicest way possible for me, the day you stepped into my life It's been nothing but a tangle. So please, step out of it. I'm going to go back home. I'm fine on my own, but go and find Ajit Dayal. He is in the Dayal Hall in the Core Spire."

MARISHA: Dayal?

MATT: "I don't know where he lives anymore. Tried looking for him, and that's when I got picked up."

LAURA: What was his name that we're looking for?

MATT: "Ajit Dayal."

LAURA: Ajit.

ASHLEY: Ajit Dayal.

ROBBIE: So are you just going to go back to your home in the woods?

MATT: "Yeah."

TRAVIS: Hovel.

ROBBIE: Well, pardon me for questioning your logic, but they found you in the city. Don't you think they'd be able to find you in your home? It's not a hidden place, is it, or--?

MATT: "It's quite hidden. It's the reason why they waited until I came into the city to come after me. If they want to come after me, oh, (chuckles) they're welcome to try. I've got some defenses, and now I'm going to build some new ones."

MARISHA: If we wanted to come visit you from time to time, though? We're welcome, or we're not welcome?

MATT: "No, you're not at all. I do appreciate you helping out and helping this man. You know what, that's great. I hope you take this kind thing you've done, and it helps resolve your soul of some past sin that some wayward deity might hold over you. Or that's what people do these days, I don't know. I'm going to go back to eating squirrels."

ASHLEY: Right, but do you not believe in reciprocity?

MATT: "Sure. Name something you want from me?"

ASHLEY: Well.

LAURA: I can think of something Fearne wants.

MATT: "What you want? Tell me your price."

ASHLEY: Bite me.

SAM: What? No, no, no, no. (laughter)

MATT: "Yeah, no, that's not happening."

TRAVIS: Give the girl what she wants.

MATT: "I took an oath many years ago to not do this."

TRAVIS: No, I know, but I mean, who's honestly keeping track, you know what I'm saying?

ASHLEY: It's fine, I can turn into what you are just like that.

MATT: "Show me."

ASHLEY: Okay. Give me two seconds to look through my cards. (laughter) Well, I can do it. I'm just not going to do it right now because I also can't, because I'm tired. And I realize I'm just all tapped out.

MATT: "Well then, enjoy your beauty sleep. I'm going to go nap because I'm exhausted. You know, from all the beatings and torturing I've endured for days. Don't get me wrong. I am appreciative, I'm also going to fuck off in the morning. I hope that's okay."

ASHLEY: One last thing.

MATT: "(sighs) Yes?"

ASHLEY: I know, we're going to let you go to bed and leave all of this behind. Was there anything else that you heard about Ira while you were in there and with him that could help us?

TRAVIS: You were in there for days.

MATT: "There's not much conversation. It was mainly just the creepy-ass motherfucker just taunting me. Apparently..." Trying to think for a second, focuses hard and tries to remember. "Really just enjoyed his fucked up work, really. Made a lot of weird, glowing things. Brought folks in that were escorted in by that fancy-looking fellow. Or his boss with the dark hair."

TRAVIS: Vali?

LAURA: Vali was the in-between. Who was the big boss?

MARISHA: I don't think we have that yet.

ASHLEY: Armand?

LAURA: No, we did. Armand.

MATT: "Right, whatever that was. Forced me to bite a few folks. Occasionally, that spindly fuck would leave for a bit and come back with equipments, chemicals, and the like. Just quietly mutter to himself."

ASHLEY: Do you remember who you bit?

MATT: "I don't know who they were, but they were well-armed. They were well-dressed and they all seemed to be-- They weren't wardens or anything. They looked like they were more brigands."

LAURA: When Ira left and he would come back, what did he smell like?

MATT: "He--" It seems like he's calling a sense memory, begins to snarl a bit and sniff heavily. He goes, "He smelt strange... It's not like something that I've ever smelled before. Like the jungles, maybe, but crisper, sweeter."

LAURA: I wonder if he was going to the Feywild?

ASHLEY: Do you want to smell me? To see if it's like a similar--?

MATT: Leans forward, brushes his beard a bit to give some space under his nose and (sniffs)

LAURA: Is he licking your neck?

ASHLEY: Maybe that's sometimes how? I mean, that's how snakes smell, by licking. So maybe?

MATT: "No, it's just the air near it. Don't get any ideas. Kind of similar. Anyway, highly exhausted."

SAM: Wait, wait. Just one more question, sorry. Armand? Armind?

TRAVIS and LAURA: Armand.

MATT: "I don't know."

SAM: You saw him, though, right?

MATT: "I saw people!"

LAURA: Oh yeah, you said they were brought in by Armand.

TRAVIS: Do you have a physical description you can relay?

MARISHA: Dark hair?

MATT: "He was a tall, I guess handsome looking fellow. Dressed real fancy, all sorts of jewels and rings and necklaces. Yeah."

SAM: Human?

MATT: "Looked to be human, mostly. He had kind of a--" As I'm looking up stuff here.

SAM: Oh, oh, looking at notes.

MATT: "He was wearing a fine, fancy, shiny pants. A nice Sherwani coat with a high collar. Button in the top there. Blues and golds."

LAURA: (whispers) Blues and gold.

MATT: "Had a nice kept goatee. Short hair with a wave to it."

LAURA: What color hair?

MATT: "Black."

LAURA: Did you notice any kind of symbols on his clothing? Like animals or any kind of crests?

MATT: "Nah, I'm more of a scent-oriented person."

TRAVIS: Go rest.

MATT: "All right." He gets up from his stool, and wanders back, walks in a circle two or three times. Then just plops down on the ground and passes out. (laughter)

SAM: Well, what a turn of events.

LIAM: Who could have seen any of that coming?

TRAVIS: I don't know, anybody with two eyes. So, I have more information than I did before. I understand if, you know, the trust has been broken. But I do enjoy working with you, and I feel like I can be of service.

ROBBIE: You know, you keep saying all these things about service, and we're in your employ, and you're in your ours. We're working, working. But I do recall you calling us your friends. Did I hear you say that earlier? Did you call us your friends?

TRAVIS: (mumbles) Maybe.

ROBBIE: What was that? Say again? I didn't quite hear that.

TRAVIS: (mumbles) Maybe. Yes.

ROBBIE: Yes? All right, I just wanted to touch base.

TRAVIS: I meant friendly! Friendly.

ASHLEY: That's not a bad thing.

TRAVIS: No.

LIAM: What happens next? We just went to great pain to find this man, and you're just going to bounce off, and you're... with us?

TRAVIS: I'd like to. I mean. I don't know. First of all, I don't even know how to spell half of these words. (laughter)

LAURA: But he told us about Ajit.

TRAVIS: Ajit Di-holy.

LAURA: Dayal?

ROBBIE: Dayal Hall?

LAURA: At Dayal Hall, yeah.

TRAVIS: Look, it's going to take time to find those people. I don't have anybody else here in Jrusar. I know more about the Moon Tower, and all sorts of wacky shit that's happening. There's strength in numbers! And I am good with locks.

TALIESIN: Eh.

MARISHA: I like him.

TALIESIN: I do, too.

SAM: I do, three. I mean, the only thing more fun than a new friend is a new friend with a secret.

TRAVIS: Don't listen to him. I am actually very good at controlling the (gruffly) the wolf. That's why they let me live.

SAM: Well, it sounded like you still need some help controlling, or at least mastering.

TRAVIS: It sounds like there's more to be gleaned, but essentially, if I don't control it, or if I show an ability to hurt others, then I think they'll come for me.

MARISHA: Who's they?

TRAVIS: Those hunters.

MARISHA: Those hunters.

TRAVIS: The Claret Orders, they keep a tight lid on that shit. It is a curse or a disease. They don't want it running rampant.

LAURA: So what you wanted from Gurge was to teach you the ways of controlling it more?

SAM: Or introduce you to this group?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: The go...

MATT: Gorgynei.

ALL: Gorgynei.

TRAVIS: I'm okay on my own. I've made it from Uthodurn down all the way to here, but--

SAM: I mean, Imogen?

LAURA: Yeah?

SAM: Wanting to find someone who can help you control things is a worthy goal.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: So, I mean, it would behoove us to help him if he can help, you know, you as well?

MARISHA: When is the next time Ruidus is high in the sky?

MATT: Make a survival check.

MARISHA: 12.

TRAVIS: Can I help her out with that check?

MARISHA: Oh, wait.

MATT: You've already made your check earlier.

MARISHA: Yeah, 12.

SAM: (creaky noise)

MATT: Oh, it was for the time of the day. You can make a survival check if you want to, separately.

TRAVIS: I'll give her advantage.

MATT: Okay, roll again.

MARISHA: I'll take it. 13, total.

SAM: It's 11 o'clock.

MARISHA: It's 11 o'clock.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: On the dot.

MATT: While the two moons move on two separate cycles, Catha is the one that moves on a monthly cycle. Ruidus moves on a near six-month cycle. The-- Ruidus has been slowly rising on this horizon over the past few months. So you expect probably you're a couple months from zenith.

MARISHA: All right. A couple months. So you've probably had this long enough that you've experienced at least one cycle of Ruidus in the sky?

TRAVIS: Oh yeah. Mm-hmm. I mean, when it gets hairy, I usually isolate a little bit just in case it gets, you know, out of control.

SAM: Moody or something?

TALIESIN: Insight check.

MATT: Make an insight check.

TALIESIN: 12.

TRAVIS: I feel like I owe a debt of insight checks. There's a strong disproportionate amount of checks between me and everyone else. (laughter)

ASHLEY: It's just because we don't fully know you yet.

LIAM: I think we just want to ascertain if there are any more surprises.

ASHLEY: We all know everything about each other.

TALIESIN: Clearly, there is--

LAURA: You're a prince.

TALIESIN: Not a person to be trusted.

LAURA: You're dead.

SAM: I'm nice.

LAURA: You're nice.

TRAVIS: I'm telling the truth.

TALIESIN: Oh, I don't believe you for a moment. On the other hand, I'm really excited for you to stay with this group. I think it's a great idea. I think I want a werewolf, or at the very least, I want to beat up a werewolf at some point. So either way, I feel like this is just a win-win on my end.

MARISHA: Oh, I'm sure.

LAURA: You realize, Fearne, there's more than one wolf in here that could bite you. If ever you...

ASHLEY: Oh. Oh. Well.

TALIESIN: You might also turn into a tiny wolf.

ASHLEY: Maybe one day. You know?

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

SAM: You want to be a wolf?

ASHLEY: No, I'm just...

TRAVIS: Who wouldn't want to be?

SAM: You're just wolf curious?

ASHLEY: I'm wolf curious.

TRAVIS: Did you not see me down there? That was fucking amazing.

TALIESIN: It was pretty fucking cool, absolutely.

MATT: "You bite someone intentionally, I'll hunt you down."

TRAVIS: There's that problem, though.

LAURA: Oh, you're not supposed to.

ASHLEY: You can't.

LAURA: What if you just bite someone in the throes of passion?

MATT: "Can't hear you. I'm sleeping. (snores)"

TALIESIN: I guess you have to wear a retainer a lot, or something, like a mouth guard. That shit don't happen.

TRAVIS: Like a muzzle?

TALIESIN: No, no, just like--

TRAVIS: I don't fucking--

LIAM: Invisalign at level three.

TRAVIS: Level three!

TALIESIN: Level three Invisalign.

TRAVIS: Look, I won't lie. There are some things that I haven't told you yet, but I'm trusting you more, and I have selfish desires. There are people that need to die, and things that need to be righted, but that's down the road.

SAM: Well, tell us now! You can't just drop that and say--

TRAVIS: No, I'm pretty tired.

SAM: "I've got crazy secrets, but I'm not going to tell you any of them."

TRAVIS: I'm pretty tired.

LIAM: You have crazy secrets?

SAM: No, no, that's what he just said.

TALIESIN: What kind of secrets do you have? I thought we knew each other.

SAM: What?

TALIESIN: What are you holding back?

SAM: I'm not holding back nothing.

TALIESIN: I know, I'm fucking with you.

SAM: It's not my designation!

LAURA: You have secrets?

SAM: No!

MARISHA: Jeez! I had no idea you had such a cruel spark.

SAM: If I-- If metal could blush. (laughter)

TRAVIS: I knew he was dark.

MARISHA: Well, I have all these papers. I start laying out all the papers.

TALIESIN: That looks like a tomorrow problem.

MATT: They are blank. (gasping)

LIAM: We just scooped up blank paper?

LAURA: Were they blank in the room?

MARISHA: You said there was papers with weird writing on it that we couldn't understand?

MATT: Yeah, they weren't blank when you picked them up, but they're blank now. SAM and

LAURA: Oh.

ASHLEY: What if we hold them up to the window, next to the moon or something?

MARISHA: Yes! I got to-- Oh!

TALIESIN: You are underground.

MARISHA: Wait, wait, wait, though. Eyes of the Rune Keeper?

SAM: Ooh, what is that?

MATT: Okay.

MATT: They're still blank.

MARISHA: Fuck.

MATT: You can read anything that you can see. There's nothing on these paper.

TRAVIS: Wait, I've heard about invisible ink and stuff. We should try a reagent and heat. Do we have any lemons?

LAURA: I'm just going to breathe.

MARISHA: Breathe on it, yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah, like National Treasure.

MATT: No particular effect. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Let me see one really quickly. Let me just see one. I'm just going to tear a corner.

MATT: It tears.

TALIESIN: Well, it's not magical.

LIAM: You can do a handful of fire, right?

ASHLEY: Yes.

LIAM: Yeah? Can I trouble you?

ASHLEY: Yes, you can.

LIAM: I'm going to hold one piece of paper just--

LAURA: But don't burn it.

LIAM: -- with an inch away from the flame.

ASHLEY: Okay, let's see if--

LIAM: Maybe there's lemon juice?

ASHLEY: Let me see if I can heat it up.

TALIESIN: It's not a problem that lemon can solve.

LIAM: There is no problem that lemon can solve.

ASHLEY: All I have is-- I have Burning Hands right now.

LIAM: That's too much.

ASHLEY: Yeah, it's a bit much. (laughter)

TALIESIN: We may need an outside contractor to figure this out.

SAM: Could we just light a candle?

LAURA: I think we should go see Lord Eshteross. (laughter)

SAM: Wait, what?

LIAM: It's 4:30 in the morning.

LAURA: After we sleep.

ROBBIE: He's been asleep for nine hours, for sure.

LAURA: We need to sleep.

LIAM: Uh, yeah.

SAM: I guess he would help.

LAURA: He might be able to.

SAM: But I will say, you know, as we've discovered more about you and your unfolding mystery, there's more threads to be followed there, for sure. However, you know, we all have threads to follow. I, for one, am really interested in making sure that you all find what you're looking for. Especially Imogen, she's so close to...

LAURA: Why me?

SAM: Well, you're so close. It's an achievable goal, you know?

LAURA: Yeah, and I mean-- Lord Eshteross said that he would get us into the library.

SAM: Exactly.

LAURA: Super fast.

SAM: So I don't want to get too distracted. No offense, you know?

LAURA: But I mean, no, we're going to be here. We got to talk to your guy. We still got to talk to your guy.

MARISHA: Didn't you go talk to somebody?

TALIESIN: I actually wasn't going to bring it up tonight, but tomorrow morning over breakfast, I was, in fact, going to offer everybody a very exciting and interesting opportunity to get out of town for a few days. Maybe lie low. Do some traveling. See some shit.

MARISHA: We did explode a tower.

SAM: You sound like you're selling a timeshare.

TRAVIS and MARISHA: It does, yeah. (laughter)

MARISHA: Is there a buffet?

TALIESIN: There can be. There is money. There is travel. It could be fun.

LAURA: It may be wise to get out of town.

TRAVIS: It's true. That shit blew up pretty big. That warden up at the top of the gondola ride, we didn't kill him. So he's probably going to rat us out. I mean, or you know, not kill.

ASHLEY: Should we go kill him?

TRAVIS: Can you fly into a winged angel of death and open his carotid?

ASHLEY: Sure.

ROBBIE: Maybe we should just sleep?

LAURA: Maybe we should sleep.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LIAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: I'm going to sleep.

ASHLEY: With my hoof, I'm going to scratch my ear.

LAURA: Are there multiple beds in here, or has Gurge taken the only--?

MATT: Gurge is on the floor.

LAURA: Oh, okay.

MATT: There are three beds in this room. They're all larger beds. The room can fit all of you, but you're going to have to share some bed space, or some people put up your bed rolls for the floor space.

LAURA: We're 10 games in, I think it's time for an orgy.

ASHLEY: Yeah. (laughter)

ROBBIE: Is that the rule? I'm new here. I don't know. How many games does it take?

TALIESIN: It's been a long time since Campaign 2, wow!

SAM: Turn off the cameras.

TRAVIS: A-one, a-two, a-three.

MATT: Roll some constitution saving throws, you guys. (laughter)

LIAM: Master Owl.

TALIESIN: Spa episode, spa episode, everyone? Spa episode, we're going bathhouse episode? We're all doing that now, okay.

MARISHA: There's still one more lighting mode-- (laughter)

MARISHA: -- we haven't tried yet. (laughter)

ROBBIE: The disco ball.

TRAVIS: That's not rain. (laughter)

MATT: Ah, I can't find the button in time. Okay. (laughter)

ASHLEY: I'm going to jump and lie on one of the beds.

ROBBIE: Oh man.

MATT: Okay, so, you all can complete your long rest as you manage to sleep through the night. Battered, beaten, bloodied, but alive. Eventually, you sleep through the sunrise because it is only about two to three hours away at this point. Then eventually, you come to consciousness in the warm, bright sun blaring through the window you didn't realize you had left open as you all passed out rather quickly. But you get breakfast.

LAURA: It feels really bright.

MARISHA: I hate it. I hate it when you do that.

TRAVIS: You kind of sweaty when you wake up?

MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: It's the worst.

ROBBIE: Scan the room for Gurge. Is he here?

MATT: Oh, Gurge is still here.

ROBBIE: He is?

MATT: Yeah, he's still sleeping.

ASHLEY: Sleepy head.

MARISHA: I go and I check the papers. Anything?

MATT: Still blank.

TALIESIN: Could run them by Milo, too, if you want.

MARISHA: Yeah, think they might know something?

TALIESIN: They might. You never fucking know.

ASHLEY: Should we see if we can have breakfast in bed? Or should we go downstairs?

TALIESIN: I want to let him sleep. I think.

ASHLEY: Oh yeah. Good point.

TRAVIS: Breakfast is on me.

ASHLEY: Oh.

TALIESIN: Goddamn.

LAURA: Thanks, Chet.

ROBBIE: Thank you.

TRAVIS: Well, as Orym said, you guys have invested heavily.

MATT: So for food for everybody would run you about, let's say eight silver.

TRAVIS: Son of a bitch!

ROBBIE: (whispers) Didn't he steal all that platinum?

MARISHA: Something like that, yeah.

LAURA: Oh, that's right.

ROBBIE: He stole, like, a hundred platinum.

LAURA: He has it all on him?

ROBBIE: Yeah. No! He gave away a few.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I paid him back. And them back. Yeah, and you.

ROBBIE: We don't know that.

SAM: Last night, when we were all getting ready for bed, I took some materials and tried to repair myself. I took the one platinum that he gave me, and I ingested that as well. Just to fortify my inner workings.

MATT: You got it, okay.

ASHLEY: Is that what does it?

SAM: It helps.

LAURA: Really? Do the nicer coins improve you more?

SAM: We'll say yes.

TRAVIS: Video gamer logic.

LAURA: I like it.

MATT: Exactly. So, meals are had downstairs. You gather by the general energy in the streets beyond the exterior of the Weary Way that you're probably close to noon by this hour. So you all feel fairly rested. What would you like to do?

LAURA: I think we should avoid the Core Spire for quite a while.

MARISHA: It's probably a good idea.

LAURA: As long as possible.

ROBBIE: All right, pitch man, tell us about your idea?

MARISHA: Yes.

LAURA: Over breakfast.

TALIESIN: It is over breakfast. Well, and I recall that I've mentioned some of this before, except that despite the fact that in the real world it's been several, several weeks as opposed to 12 hours in game time. I have an employer that I do work for on occasion. It's been contract work for several years now. She's eccentric, a bit complicated, but the work is good, and she's in a bit of a complicated bet. She's looking for something to be retrieved. I said I might have a crew. If you guys are interested, it would be several days out travel to-- oh god, let me find the note.

TRAVIS: I'm in!

MATT: The Heartmoor Hamlet.

TALIESIN: Thank you. Travel to Heartmoor Hamlet, get a--

ASHLEY: Get a hamburger.

TALIESIN: Retrieve an object, probably pretty dangerous. Come home, she gets the item, gets to prove she's got the biggest cultural dick in the Spire. We make a little bit of money. Get me out of a little bit of debt. Get me out a lot of debt, to be honest. I'd appreciate it.

TRAVIS: How much debt? More than his brother?

TALIESIN: Funny you should say that. I should also add that it was her golem, just in case it comes up. It might come up, that was her golem that got stolen.

ROBBIE: Might come up?

TALIESIN: Yeah, it might come up.

ROBBIE: You know, I thought I was the king of cagey. What is it with this group? Everyone is sort of hiding their--

TRAVIS: Right, they're all hiding behind layers.

ROBBIE: I'm specifically talking about you. (laughter)

ROBBIE: My brother's involved in this somehow?

TALIESIN: Well, I don't think your brother actually is involved in this. I think that-- (laughter) I think your brother got this pinned on him.

ROBBIE: Right.

TALIESIN: And, for the record, I've made my opinion known to her that she's probably targeting the wrong person, and should probably take a minute to think about that.

MARISHA: Did you tell her that you know him?

TALIESIN: I was very discreet.

ROBBIE: What did she say?

TALIESIN: Well, is very hurt. She said, that's interesting. She would like to know more, but in the meantime, it stays.

LAURA: Maybe if we do this task for her, she'll--?

TALIESIN: I'm not going to say she's a particularly grateful human being, but I can imagine that it would amuse her to have the opportunity to be grateful. So yeah, couldn't hurt.

ROBBIE: Truly selfishly, this sounds amazing, Ashton.

TALIESIN: I'm promising nothing. I'm just letting you know the lay of the land.

LAURA: How long would we be gone?

TALIESIN: God, I'd say probably 10 days, tops. That's what I think. I think that's if everything goes horribly wrong.

LAURA: Well, isn't it-- I feel like it takes quite a while just to get to the Heartland, Heartmoor.

TALIESIN: The Heartland of the Heartmoor.

MARISHA: We can't miss the ball.

TALIESIN: When is the ball?

LAURA: Like four days out.

MATT: Just under a week.

TALIESIN: Well, we could make it to Heartland in about--

LAURA: Six? (laughter)

MATT: On foot-- (laughter)

MATT: On foot to the Heartmoor, following the paths, you have five to six days' travel. You can ride on trade carts, which could be a little safer. You can purchase a horse. That might take you there about three to four days' travel. You could, if you make the right arrangements, and make the right friends, you might be able to rent a simurgh, or a few simurgh to bring you. Which would only take you two to three days' travel. But it's pricey.

TALIESIN: I mean, no, we don't- We know a guy. We don't know a guy that well.

SAM: We know a guy.

TALIESIN: That's real well.

SAM: He's got a simurgh.

TALIESIN: That's not enough.

ASHLEY: What's a simurgh?

MARISHA: The flying dog things that we keep dodging because they've got authority on them.

TRAVIS: How much do those cost?

TALIESIN: We've got one week to the ball.

TRAVIS: Cool.

SAM: I don't know how much it costs.

LAURA: No idea.

ASHLEY: We could just ask one of them, and see if they would just do us a favor?

LAURA: I feel like we should've worked the wardens for--

SAM: But the wardens don't control the simurgh. I think it's just private operators. They're like taxis, or some can be.

LIAM: Little of both, right?

MATT: Yeah, there are wardens that are sky wardens, they ride simurghs to keep watch. But there are also privately owned simurgh riders that ferry individuals from spire to spire. As well as, occasionally, distance.

LAURA: It's like having your own helicopter instead of facing the traffic?

MATT: It's not inexpensive. Though none of you have purchased one, you can only imagine they're not cheap.

SAM: Want to go find out, or ask around how much they cost to rent?

TALIESIN: Let's figure out what it is, and if it's a little out of our budget, I can see if she'd be willing to foot the bill.

ROBBIE: Is there a time limit on this mission?

TALIESIN: I got the feeling that it's a soft time limit, but there will come a point where it's running a little late.

ROBBIE: I know this would be good for me, but I cannot allow us to miss the opportunity to go to the ball. It's not for me. I know you laugh, because you think I would like to go to a ball. Which I very much would, very much. (laughter)

ROBBIE: But...

TALIESIN: Genuinely not looking forward to that, but I understand.

SAM: It wouldn't just be good for you. I mean, this would get you out of a pickle as well.

TALIESIN: This would be a big deal for me, but--

SAM: You'd have freedom to leave and go have a life, right?

TALIESIN: I could get the fuck out of town if I actually wanted to. That would be very nice. Very nice.

MARISHA: Let's go back to the beginning, because you said this was all revolving around a bet? Are we her pawns?

TALIESIN: Yes.

MARISHA: Oh.

TALIESIN: Yeah, no, that tracks, that tracks pretty well. Yeah. God, she'd make patches. If I recall, she was giving-- It wasn't a hard deadline. It was a loose deadline.

MATT: It wasn't a hard deadline. It was, she hadn't fully accepted the proposal yet. The longer she was taking to accept it, the more it was-- More challenge was being added to it. So she was like, I mean, don't take too long. But it wasn't a definitive time period.

TALIESIN: So I could let her know that we can leave right after the ball. If that's something that we absolutely want to hit.

LAURA: Is that enough time for you, Orym?

LIAM: Well, I need to check in with Eshteross. I think so.

MARISHA: To go see The Anger?

SAM: Can I just run down a couple of to-do list items? So we all know what we're--

LAURA: I'm so glad you're here, F.C.G., to keep track.

SAM: Okay, the ball. Remind me why we need to go there, again?

LAURA: Because it seems like we could dress up. (laughter)

SAM: But was there another purpose for it?

LAURA: Yes, to be introduced to society so that we could get in to things easier.

SAM: It was just general society? I feel like there was a more specific reason for it.

TRAVIS: I thought we were going to represent Lord Eshteross.

LAURA: I don't think he wanted us to necessarily represent him.

TRAVIS: I think he said to go and use his name.

MARISHA: Oh, oh, oh! It was to maybe meet people from the Chandei Quorum.

LAURA: Yes.

MARISHA: Right?

LAURA: To be introduced to society.

SAM: Okay, the ball. Mission for Jiana Hexum?

TALIESIN: Jiana.

SAM: Jiana Hexum. Okay, that's on the to-do. Check in with Pretty.

LAURA: I mean?

SAM: That's a later thing.

LAURA: That's whenever. We'll give him some time.

ASHLEY: I don't know if we need to even, you know.

TRAVIS: What about you, Orym?

LIAM: Well, I'm just on a fact finding mission. I just need to speak to this man, Breshio.

SAM: The Anger?

LIAM: Yeah, which hopefully isn't too long.

SAM: How far away is he?

LIAM: He's here.

SAM: Oh, well, that's--

LIAM: He's here in town. Lord Eshteross is going to make an introduction. He already knows this Breshio. So it's really just if everyone's okay with it, I just need to check in with him and--

LAURA: We could do it today.

LIAM: And do it today.

MARISHA: Do you want us to join you? Or is that something you envision doing all on your own?

TALIESIN: At the very least, take some backup.

LIAM: Yeah, it's better than going alone, of course.

MARISHA: All right.

ROBBIE: Is there a chance he'd be at the ball? High society and all.

LIAM: Breshio? I don't pretend to know enough about Jrusar to know that, but he's still recuperating.

SAM: And then there's Imogen. She needs to go to the Starlight Conservatory.

LAURA: Yes, I do.

SAM: Could also do that today.

LAURA: Do we have the letter yet? No! He--

SAM: He said he was going to get it.

LAURA: He said he was preparing. Yeah, so I don't know if it's exactly ready just yet.

MARISHA: Because we did, once again, just see him yesterday?

LAURA: Yesterday.

MATT: You did, but he was like, I can handle these things for you.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Like, now.

LIAM: We could at least check in on those two things.

LAURA: Yeah! So we could go to the library, and we could go see The Anger.

LIAM: Sounds like fun.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: So Starlight, Anger, ball gown shopping.

LAURA: As long as-- but Lord Eshteross did say that he did not know if we could all go. He was trying to get us--

MARISHA: Right!

LAURA: -- an invitation.

TALIESIN: I'm fine.

LAURA: Or added to the list.

TRAVIS: I'm okay, too. I'll stay with Ashton.

TALIESIN: It sounds genuinely terrible.

TRAVIS: Yeah, awful. Like, diarrhea making.

TALIESIN: Thank you. Yes.

TRAVIS: Just gives me the gurgles. (deep stomach gurgles) (laughter)

TRAVIS: You know the sound?

LAURA: I know the sound. Thank you.

MARISHA: What else is on our list?

SAM: Maybe find Armand, Ira.

MARISHA: Ajit. We should add.

SAM: Ajit. Or finding his--

LAURA: Yeah, Ajit Dayal.

SAM: The people who can help him control his inner angers.

LAURA: Ajit Dayal will lead us to them.

SAM: But then there's also the bad guys, too, you know? The Nightmare King.

LAURA: Yeah, Nightmare King and Armand, who, I bet will be at the ball because he's a fancy guy with jewelry, wearing blues and golds.

TRAVIS: And wavy hair.

LAURA: Black, wavy hair and a goatee. Only rich guys wear goatees, I hear.

ROBBIE: I do not have one. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Can you grow one?

TALIESIN: It's weird. I feel like--

LAURA: I feel like he has a goatee!

TALIESIN: It's almost like your soul has one.

LAURA: Do you really not have one? (laughter)

TRAVIS: Can I make an investigation check for peach fuzz? (laughter)

ROBBIE: It is very soft.

LIAM: Oh no.

TRAVIS: Oh, god! It's like a baby's forearm! (laughter) I'm going to just give you one fang.

ROBBIE: Oh, no, no, no! Oh, Chetney. (laughter)

MATT: "All right. I don't care about any of this. I'm going to leave. Good day to you."

ASHLEY: Oh, I forgot you were here!

MATT: "Good. I'm doing great."

TRAVIS: If we need to get ahold of you, how do we reach you?

MATT: "Don't."

TRAVIS: Oh.

MATT: "(sighs) Look, in all seriousness, you're a pain in my ass, but it's a tough life. I'm sorry you got dealt this hand. Follow this path. There's some good folks there. We don't see eye to eye, but they can help you."

TRAVIS: Are you in good standing with them? Did you leave on good terms?

MATT: "Uh, not particularly."

TRAVIS: Is there anything I should say to win them over and make a decent impression? Other than just being myself?

MATT: "Don't mention my name."

TRAVIS: Oh.

MATT: "And just be honest."

TRAVIS: Wasn't going to do that either.

MATT: "Have a good life." He gets up, and with a complete and utter lack of manners and care, just exits the chamber and vanishes into the rest of the day.

MARISHA: Bye!

LIAM: You're welcome.

SAM: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Bye, Gurge.

TRAVIS: I need to find a wood chisel. I make my way over to the bar. Excuse me! Do you know any tool shops around here? (laughter)

MATT: You see Kamala the orc, helm of the bar, come up to you. "I'm sorry, doll. What were you saying?"

TRAVIS: Afternoon! Tools! Like hammers, chisels, you know, wood?

MATT: "Here?"

TRAVIS: Anywhere in the spire, around here. Hardware store?

MATT: "Let me think for a second. You probably... Best bet here, maybe the Trove of Marwa might help you out. She gets all kinds of weird stuff around here."

TRAVIS: Trove of what?

MATT: "Marwa!"

TRAVIS: Marwa! Marwa. Got it. Who owns that?

MATT: "Marwa."

TRAVIS: Oh, figures!

MATT: "Marwa Endalia. She can probably help you out. I don't even know what you're asking about, but if it's weird and you're looking for someone that sells it, Marwa could probably help you out."

TRAVIS: Amazing. Thank you so much.

MATT: "Sure, no worries. Thanks for being a patron of The Weary Way. You're a doll."

TRAVIS: All right. I can wait.

MATT: So, what's the plan now?

SAM: Eshteross?

MARISHA: I guess so?

LIAM: Our friend Eshteross, yeah.

MATT: All righty.

TALIESIN: Is there a way letters get sent in this city?

MATT: There are. There are couriers.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: A pathway to the Core Spire from the Lantern.

LAURA: He's in the Core Spire.

MATT: He's in the Core Spire. But there is the Fatewalk, the bridge that goes across. You don't have to take any gondola, necessarily. The Lantern and the Core are directly connected by the Fatewalk. But if you would like to be careful, you could all roll stealth check to just keep--

LIAM: Lay low.

MATT: -- Keep out of sight, and as much as you can, inconspicuous, you fucking group of bright, colorful sirens.

LIAM: Robot corpse.

LAURA: We can go shopping for some different clothes or something.

SAM: Cloaks and stuff. Sure.

LIAM: What the hell is that?

LAURA: I mean, it landed on a 20.

TRAVIS: 14.

MATT: 14.

ROBBIE: 14.

MATT: 14.

MARISHA: Six.

SAM: 10.

ASHLEY: 21.

MATT: 21!

LAURA: Natural 20.

MATT: Dang!

LIAM: What's my modifier? Where's my modifier? Scroll up, Beyond. 11.

MATT: 11, okay.

TALIESIN: Shit. Which one are we doing? I'm so sorry.

MATT: Stealth.

LIAM: Stealth!

TALIESIN: Oh yeah. 22.

MATT: 22.

ASHLEY: Didn't we get a bath or anything like that? Are we still just a little--

LAURA: Well, I did ask for basins of water.

ASHLEY: That's right.

MATT: You managed to clean yourselves up.

LAURA: I did, throughout the night, Prestidigitation everybody's clothing to try to clean us up.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: One by one, went around the room.

MATT: Mm-hmm. Gathering your most muted colors and cloth and keeping yourselves looking as inconspicuous as possible, while a few of you had a few tripped up moments, your friends made the opportunity to bring you closer in and travel without issue to the Core Spire, eventually coming to the outside of the Eshteross manor. You are greeted and brought back in to meet him within his afternoon, looks like he had just finished having tea while reading up on some papers that he had been shuffling through as you all enter. He doesn't even look up at first before finishing what he's reading, sets it back down, takes his glasses off, sets them on the table.

MARISHA: Whatcha reading?

MATT: "I'm reading things that are of no--"

MARISHA: Important documents?

MATT: "No."

MARISHA: Fiction?

LIAM: Recipes?

MATT: "What can I help you with?"

LAURA: We had an eventful night.

MATT: He glances past. "Yes, you all look like you've been a bit-- Did you have anything to do with the attack on the--"

MARISHA: Yes. (giggles)

TALIESIN: Kinda.

LAURA: We didn't do it.

MARISHA: But we were there!

LIAM: We were there.

MATT: "Right."

LIAM: Things got a little-- Oh jeez. (laughter)

LIAM: Peekaboo.

LAURA: It certainly wasn't intentional. We were just fighting for our lives, really.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: "Who were you fighting against?"

LIAM: Make it sound good, like we didn't totally fuck up.

LAURA: There was this creature.

ASHLEY: The Nightmare King.

LAURA: Yeah. Long, spindly legs, huge eyes, black as night. No nose. No lips. Jack-o-lantern smile. And a teeny, tiny top hat.

ASHLEY: Long fingers, like a foot and half long.

LAURA: Terrifying, genuinely. We hit him with everything we had and I didn't even see one drop of blood.

ASHLEY: No.

MARISHA: Mm-mm.

SAM: He was also conducting experiments and trying to turn people into werewolves.

TALIESIN: Had weird creatures in cages.

LAURA: Yeah, there was this big, insect-like thing in a cage. Oh, and a big contraption with a blue crystal in it that was magic-enhancing or something!

TALIESIN: That made furniture come to life!

SAM: We solved it!

TALIESIN: Solved!

ASHLEY: It was him.

MATT: "Indeed, there have been a few occurrences of such struggles of which you suffered not long ago happening across the city."

MARISHA: We know, we've seen one.

ASHLEY: And someone named Armand is involved.

LAURA: Yes.

ASHLEY: Someone named Valley, Vali?

LAURA: He's fancy.

ASHLEY: Yes.

LAURA: Yeah, Vali, obviously.

ROBBIE: Oh! And The Nightmare King's name is Ira. Just Ira, yeah.

ASHLEY: Ira Wendagoth.

ROBBIE: His actual name.

MATT: "I'm not familiar with this Ira, but Armand. Fancy, you say?"

LAURA: Yeah, blues and golds. I don't know if that's like a--?

ASHLEY: Fancy pants.

LAURA: Shiny pants.

MATT: "That would be Armand Treshi." (gasping)

LAURA and MARISHA: The Treshis!

LAURA: It's all connected!

ASHLEY: Oh shit!

MATT: "Of the Mahaan House Treshi, and someone I have long believed to be a member of the Chandei Quorum." (gasping)

TRAVIS: Oh shit!

ASHLEY: Well, he was paying this Nightmare King to do all of this shit under there.

LAURA: Yeah, and they were turning soldiers or something into werewolves. He was making super soldiers.

ASHLEY: They did three of them so far.

MARISHA: And they wanted to sow chaos!

MATT: "For what purpose?"

TALIESIN: We didn't get that far.

LAURA: Yeah, he disappeared. So we were starting to overpower him, and instead of fighting us, he did something and he flipped a switch, and then he bamfed out. I don't know where he went. But we found paper that had writing on it. Then when we went to look at it, it was blank.

SAM: Got it right there. That does have writing on it, but that is standing in for the paper that we--

TALIESIN: Oh, that was the breakfast tavern. We were trying to figure out who owned what, and we-- okay.

MATT: Eshteross takes it and goes, "Hmm, I'll have a friend look at it who specializes in--"

LAURA: Great, great.

MATT: "-- arcana. This grows ever more entwined and thicker, and (chuckles)" You see an odd grin come across his tusked mouth, his jaw leaning into it with a smile. "I've had no love for Armand for some time, and we've had our own quarrels politically. I like the idea of seeking a way to undermine his influence in this city. What better way to do this than at an event where all the other movers and shakers of the Oderan Wilds will be present?"

TALIESIN: Oh fuck.

MATT: "(amused exhale) Okay. Well, you've brought me some things to consider, some questions to ask, and some arrangements to make in the coming week. I thank you for this, and I'm glad to see that you are all still in one piece. To that point, Orym, whenever you are ready, I can have you escorted to speak with Oshad."

LIAM: You beat me to it. We were hoping to take care of that today, if that's possible.

MATT: "That can be done. I spoke to my connection at the conservatory, managed to hear back, and I have--"

LAURA: (gasps)

MATT: "-- presented this to you. It should be enough to get you what you requested, I believe."

LAURA: Thank you.

MARISHA: Does it have a wax seal?

MATT: "Within, it has my seal, yes."

MARISHA: Good. Oh, it does!

ASHLEY: (gasps)

MARISHA: It's so official.

SAM: How's his handwriting?

LAURA: It's pristine.

SAM: Okay!

TRAVIS: Can we see? Oh shit. It's real.

LAURA: Yeah. Thank you so much.

SAM: Must have taken a class at Skillshare. (laughter)

MATT: Fucking dick.

TRAVIS: You should know that this Nightmare King, he smelled like fey. I'm just standing in a pile of wood chips as I'm filing.

TALIESIN: Definitely.

MATT: "You seem nervous."

TRAVIS: This is how I occupy myself.

MATT: "Very well. I will seek any information I can find on this Nightmare King as well."

ROBBIE: Lord Eshteross, the Treshi. Weren't they the masons at the mimic wall?

LAURA: Yeah, it's all their house.

MARISHA: That house runs that guild. It's like an umbrella.

MATT: "There are multiple guilds under House Treshi."

MARISHA: Yes.

ROBBIE: They're all under House Treshi.

MATT: "They are a powerful Mahaan house."

ROBBIE: I can't help but think. Mimics, lycans. Are they--

MARISHA: Angry tables.

ROBBIE: Are they researching? Sorry. Monsters?

TRAVIS: Cool. You flatterer. (laughter)

MARISHA: They seemed very bullheaded on trying to cause some sort of disruption, disturbance.

LAURA: Sowing chaos.

MARISHA: Sowing chaos in the town, and I'm assuming it's so that they could get some sort of political gain. If you can sow chaos, then you can often get people to, I don't know, do what you say!

TRAVIS: Create the chaos and then supply the forces to subdue said chaos.

MARISHA: To fix it. Exactly.

LAURA: Maybe they're behind the--?

MARISHA: This! Yes. Fresh Cut Grass and I talked about this a little bit.

SAM: It's mainly you. Credit where credit is due.

MARISHA: No, you said it first.

SAM: Well, no. It's all you. You present the theory.

MARISHA: Well, it's just, what if, you know, they're sowing all this chaos in order to get permission for this Paragon's Call to have full military state type of control over the town. Then this Paragon's Call, maybe they're the fancy pants gods who are trying to get super-soldierized by being werewolves.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

MARISHA: I don't know. It's just a theory. It's just a theory.

SAM: I think it's brilliant. No, it's brilliant.

MARISHA: You said it first.

SAM: Yeah, but it was mostly you. You inspired it.

MARISHA: I just, I followed.

ROBBIE: But shouldn't people of influence and power try to help those underneath them?

SAM: You silly, silly noble. (laughter)

ROBBIE: It was a real question.

MATT: "Mr. Storm, you are absolutely correct. That is what is so frustrating in Exandria, at all corners. That's why people like myself and those I call allies expend our resources to try and flush out abuses in power. I may reach out to some contacts in Ank'Harel. I have a friend there who works with a library that specifies interest in breaching corruption and wiping it out where it stands, and I'll see what I can do. In the interim, take some time to rest. You look quite, and I do not mean to offend, beaten. Take some rest." He goes and reaches off to the side into a pouch and sets five platinum on the table and says, "Perhaps a bathhouse, for example?" (laughter)

LAURA: Spa day!

MARISHA: Spa day, spa day!

MATT: "As they say, treat yourself." (laughter)

ROBBIE: Is there a place where we could go? Do you have any recommendations? (laughter)

TALIESIN: This is not on in my text mail. I don't have anything for this in my notes.

MATT: Yeah, this is a bit beyond your experience here.

ROBBIE: Ashton's not at the spa all the time.

MATT: "There is a place called The Diamond Horizon in the Lucent Spire."

SAM and MARISHA: The Lucent Spire!

MARISHA: Oh my goodness. That sounds expensive.

MATT: "It would be. This is where you'd be meeting Oshad anyway, so perhaps after this encounter."

LAURA: Oh, clean up and then go meet him.

LIAM: He was defending House Lumas. You said the Lumas twins.

MATT: "You will be meeting him at House Lumas."

LIAM: Yes.

MATT: "Where the Mahaan family lives. What remains of them."

LIAM: Can I ask, just in comparison to House Treshi, are they comparable? I know they have different pursuits, the way you described it.

MATT: "Treshi is one of probably the five most powerful houses here in the Wilds. Lumas was under that, by a bit. They are not as politically invested. I don't have too many interactions with them directly, but I know that the Ginang Ela Lumas, who is the matriarch of the family, she was the one that dealt mainly with the Quorum; kept her children away from such complicated politics. They were more the-- the researchers."

LIAM: So then she still has everything under her control?

MATT: "As far as I know. She's the one who finally was able to facilitate this meeting. So, show her respect. Give her my thanks, and show her some heart, for she did just lose some children."

MARISHA: You sound like you have quite the personal connection with her.

MATT: "Not directly, but I know how deeply the loss can be."

LIAM: All right. So spa, then we head to House Lumas?

MATT: "Whatever you think is best. There are about, as of today, five days 'til the ball."

MARISHA: Did you get tickets for us?

MATT: "I'm working on it."

MARISHA: All right.

MATT: "Are you all to attend?"

TALIESIN: If there's going to be shenanigans, then yes. If not, then I'm fine.

MATT: "I will do what I can."

SAM: I can stay outside. It's fine.

ASHLEY: I can, too, if we're allowed.

MATT: "I will do what I can. I make no promises."

ASHLEY: No, no, no.

TALIESIN: You need this.

SAM: I do?

TALIESIN: You do.

LIAM: Treat yourself.

SAM: All right.

TALIESIN: These are precisely the sort of things that you should be observing.

ASHLEY: Can you go in a bath?

SAM: I think I can go into water. I don't know that I would enjoy it as much as you folk would, but.

LAURA: Have you ever tried it?

SAM: I've been wet.

LAURA: I think we should try a nice bath for you. See if you like it.

ASHLEY: Give you a nice little scrubbies.

ROBBIE: Maybe they've got essential oils, and you could just do all oil!

SAM: That sounds better to me, yeah. Nice oils.

LAURA: Can I just reach out? I mean, do you feel that?

SAM: My senses pick it up, yeah.

LAURA: See? So you might like a bath.

SAM: I think, I mean, Dorian might be onto something. I think oil or grease in general might be more suited than just plunging into water. But maybe! I don't know. I could try one arm in water and one arm in oil and we'll just see what happens, what works better.

LIAM: Has rust ever been an issue for you?

SAM: I can rust, yeah.

LAURA: Oh, well then nevermind. Nevermind. Nevermind.

TALIESIN: Oil it is.

TRAVIS: (clears throat)

LAURA: You okay?

MARISHA: Do you need something to drink?

TRAVIS: I do. (slurps) (laughter)

LAURA: Oh, I understand.

MARISHA: It does beg the question, though, have you baked anything today? Last night? Any new recipes you're trying?

MATT: "I, unfortunately, have not had the time to pursue more of my hobbies with the growing tensions within the city. But should the time come nigh for this event, perhaps I will bring a cake or two.

MARISHA: (gasps)

LAURA: To the bath house, then.

MATT: "Very well."

SAM: Just out of curiosity, when we do go to House Lumas, is that right? Are they expecting?

MATT: "They have been notified that you are interested in speaking with Oshad."

ASHLEY: You said it was Ginang?

MATT: "Ginang is the title of the matriarch."

ASHLEY: Oh, oh, oh, okay.

MATT: "Ela Lumas."

LIAM: Ela Lumas.

SAM: They were expecting just random strangers? Did you tell them who we are? We don't have a name or anything, so like?

MATT: "Which to that point, you've traveled quite a bit. Is there a specific title in which you would want to be introduced, perhaps both professionally or within my employ? Or, should I be able to get you all into this ball, to be announced as?"

LAURA: Oh gosh.

ROBBIE: Yes, yes, yes. That sounds amazing. This is it. This is the moment. We have to have an announcement. Have you never had a proper announcement before? It's amazing. Everyone turns at you, they look at you, you do your best little turn or whatever presentation you want to do. It's great. If we go together, we can all do it. You're definitely coming. You're coming, I don't care what you say. Is this really going to happen? What is our name going to be? I'm so excited!

ASHLEY: My goodness.

LAURA: I mean. (sighs)

TALIESIN: I don't know. Do we want to figure it out the bath house or?

MARISHA: I think that's a good idea. We don't have to tell you now. This announcement is for on the day, right? Or do we have to?

MATT: "There is no pressure from me."

MARISHA: I feel so much pressure.

ASHLEY: In a week?

MATT: "If it makes it easier."

ROBBIE: I didn't make you feel pressured.

MARISHA: No, it's good.

ROBBIE: It's exciting.

MATT: "Go! Go bathe. Figure this out." He looks at the stack of papers.

LIAM: I have a head wound, so. (laughter)

TALIESIN: What's the name of the bath house again?

SAM, MARISHA, and ROBBIE: The Diamond Horizon.

LIAM: But I'd prefer to lose it entirely before my meeting. (laughter) I hear water helps with that.

TRAVIS: Directly into it.

ROBBIE: Really hot water. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Seals it right up.

MATT: It's great when you turn your head and it sloshes for the rest of your life.

MARISHA: Oh god. (laughs)

MATT: So Ariks takes the papers that you presented and begins to look over them himself as you are escorted out of the manor.

LAURA: Right before we leave, I'm just going to go up to him and: Lord Eshteross.

MATT: "Yes?"

LAURA: In his head, he's just going to hear: Thank you so much. It's been a very long time since anyone's shown us this kind of kindness, and it's quite unexpected and I'm just very grateful for it.

MATT: He just looks to you with a furrowed brow and nods, and you hear back in your head, and responding to you, he says, "As harsh as the world may seem at times, there are good people out there. It's easy for them to be drowned out by the noise."

LAURA: Yeah. Well, thanks for letting your voice be heard.

MATT: "Thank you for showing that some people are willing to trust strangers and make a difference."

LAURA: All right.

LIAM: It's wild how Imogen just goes up to so many people and just stares at them. (laughter)

ROBBIE: She's got to be doing the--

LIAM: No, I know what she's doing, but it's unsettling.

MATT: As you're leaving, he goes, "For the record, you have recently been present of what would be a massive attack on an important place in the city. Do you need any sort of clothing or cloaks?"

SAM: Yes, of course.

LAURA: Oh my gosh, yes! Thank you.

MATT: "I will have Evelyn provide those." You are given a whole, each of you, a series of dark, earth tone cloaks, grays, greens, browns to just utilize to hide most of your otherwise very colorful exteriors. It's not going to do it entirely, but it will help beyond just what you have.

TALIESIN: Not a fan, but okay. (laughter)

MATT: So, where are you to next?

TRAVIS: Can I meet you there? I just need to pick up a chisel.

LAURA: Sure.

TRAVIS: The bathhouse is bigger. Quick stop. Okay. Just give them my name, so they know when I get there.

TALIESIN: If we remember it, we will.

TRAVIS: You don't remember my name?

TALIESIN: Sure. Chewy?

LIAM: Chortney.

TRAVIS: Oh, no. (laughter)

LAURA: Chad.

MARISHA: Chad.

TRAVIS: I could rock Chad. (laughter)

MATT: So you splinter off to look for a chisel.

TRAVIS: Trove of Marwa!

MATT: Actually, now that you're on the Core Spire, not too far as you're heading towards the pathway back to the Fatewalk, you do pass a place called The Prism Emporium, which is a fairly decent-sized seller of all sorts of general goods from one end of the spectrum to the other.

TRAVIS: Yes!

MATT: You can see there's a fairly decently-lit interior. There's already a few possible patrons wandering the goods and checking and gathering things, and you see a female elf that is eager to make a sale, and while everyone else is in the process of looking about, you have that look of intensity and purpose and she leans back and goes, "Oh, hi there! You look like you're driven? The driven sort?"

TRAVIS: I am.

MATT: "What you looking for? What can I help you with?"

TRAVIS: I love working with wood. Do you have any wood chisels?

MATT: "I think we just might. Let me check." Turns around. "We have everything." Goes past a curtain in the back and you hear some (rumbles)

SAM: Like a murderer.

MARISHA: Yeah, I know. (laughs)

MATT: Couple of things tumble over and you hear, "Shit."

MARISHA: Weird vibes.

MATT: "Aha!" Pulls out a bound rolled leather assortment and rolls it out. There is a full spectrum of various carpentry tools in here. "Now, any of these seem to fly your fancy?"

TRAVIS: Yeah, that long one right in the middle. What's the handle made of?

MATT: "It is made of the finest... wood."

TRAVIS: Hmm, I just need the one. How much for just this one?

MATT: "This is imported. This is a fine tool. Found its way after many years from craftsman to craftsman, it is responsible for the development of many of the Mahaan house."

TRAVIS: How much for the set?

MATT: "Full set, full set? I'll give it to you, because you seem like a driven fellow, about 10 gold."

LAURA: (laughs)

MARISHA: Oh god.

TRAVIS: 10 gold?

MATT: "Yeah."

TRAVIS: How about seven?

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

LAURA: That's such a large amount of money.

TRAVIS: 18.

MATT: 18?

MARISHA: For a $5 toolset.

MATT: "Seven gold, five silver and we'll call it even."

TALIESIN: (laughs)

MATT: "Eager fingers, little friend."

TRAVIS: Deal.

MATT: "All right, all right." Rolls it up, hands it over to you. Go ahead and mark off seven and a half gold.

TRAVIS: I didn't catch your name.

MATT: "My name is Tuyen, Tuyen Otwana and I run this establishment. Welcome, and thank you for being a patron of the Prism Emporium."

TRAVIS: Oh, no, Tuyen, thank you.

SAM: What is happening?

TRAVIS: I'll turn and leave. (laughter)

LIAM: All right, Dexter. (laughter)

SAM: On the list. (laughter)

MATT: All righty. So, do you catch up with the rest of these fools?

TRAVIS: Oh, I'll try and catch up or meet them there, depending on how long that took.

MATT: We'll say you catch up a little after. You guys are heading towards the Lucent Spire?

MARISHA: The Diamond Horizon.

MATT: All right. First, you take a cable, so it's one silver from everybody, to traverse to the Lucent Spire.

LAURA: Yes, yes, yes.

ROBBIE: Bleeding us.

SAM: Someone, by the way, always has to pay for me.

TALIESIN: I got it.

TRAVIS: Prism Emporium was on which spire?

MATT: It was Core Spire.

TRAVIS: Core Spire. Going to the Lucent Spire.

MATT: Yeah. Coasting--

SAM: ♪ Prism Emporium ♪

MATT: -- Upward, it's--

SAM: ♪ Prism Emporium ♪

MATT: This is heading towards one of the higher-- It is the second tallest spire in the city beyond the Aerie Spire, where the conservatory is. But the Lucent Spire, you've only seen from a distance. It is the shiniest, definitely, at golden hour. You can see where most of the buildings that set upon the upper portion of it. It looks like a gem encrusted growing tower right around the time of sunset, because there is just masses of beautiful glass and crystal and polished marble that beset the neighborhoods here. It is one of the thinner spires. As you get closer and closer, the streets themselves are narrower as well. There is all manner of greenery and well-kept fauna that is used to decorate and give a natural beauty between the various estates and homesteads that are built upon, within, and along the outer rim of the spire streets as they ascend upward. You eventually find The Diamond Horizon, which is a beautiful alabaster bath house. You can see there are interior ones that are more of a sauna steaming arrangement. There are three that are situated on the outer edge of the street. This is the place where you can imagine watching a beautiful sunset, if you wanted to. These three other bathhouse pools, the water is heated but it is open air and overlooks the entirety of the wilds around you. Choice is yours. It's a little more expensive, but you can do it.

MARISHA: How much?

LAURA: We have five platinum.

MARISHA: How much more expensive-- yeah.

MATT: Okay, so this place is pricey, but with five platinum, easily, you can either go all in and just pamper the hell out of yourselves with a full five platinum. You will be treated like kings.

TRAVIS: I'll cover it.

ASHLEY: But we...

ROBBIE: What?

TALIESIN: We have--

ROBBIE: With what?

MARISHA: But, I mean--

ASHLEY: Eshteross is--

TRAVIS: No, I know, but I have to earn back some of your trust.

TALIESIN: Oh, you'll earn it. You don't have to buy it.

TRAVIS: No, no, really, it's no trouble.

TALIESIN: I, actually, really would much prefer you actually earned it by doing shit. I don't want your money.

ASHLEY: Yeah, same.

TRAVIS: I would really rather pay for it. (laughter) (laughter)

TALIESIN: Saw the train coming and I just-- (laughter)

TALIESIN: I didn't get off the track there. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Do we pass by Hexum Manor on the way up or--?

MATT: Not yet, but it is not on the way, but it is past the--

TALIESIN: I'm just going to see if I can find a courier on the way to just send this up right now.

MATT: Okay, yeah, that can be done.

TALIESIN: There it is, yeah.

MATT: We'll deal with that shortly.

TALIESIN: Shortly. (laughter)

ASHLEY: This is what?

ALL: Dick butt. (laughter)

TALIESIN: It's such a dick butt.

MATT: It's a secret underground symbol for a few factions here among us. (laughter) (laughter)

MATT: "It is time to rise up." (laughter)

ASHLEY: Raise, rise up.

MATT: Raise, rise up indeed.

MARISHA: Raise, rise up.

MATT: So you're paying for the full assortment?

LAURA: Full pampering?

TRAVIS: It would be my pleasure.

LAURA: Yeah, sure.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Sure, Chet.

MATT: That's 50 gold or five platinum out of your pocket. You are all presented with a three-hour afternoon experience that involves massage, that involves fine snacks, that involves soaking in salt baths and aromatic treatments. It is, for some of you, a long missed luxury. For others, an experience you have not imagined having in your time. It is a luxury that fills you with a sense of almost guilt with how humble your backgrounds were. A brief moment of understanding why some people could easily fall victim to the interest and corruptions of others, if this was a promised lifestyle. But with as sore as you are, with as hard as you've worked, with the blows you've sustained and the things you've survived, independently and as a group, you eventually give in to allowing yourself to enjoy this one moment of respite. When the sky begins to turn from a bright blue to a slightly cloudy orange as the sunset begins to loom within the next hour or so, you all begin to gather, freshly washed, relaxed, pampered, and dressed once more to take on what the day has for you.

SAM: Can I have in that time found someone to give me some oil in my joints and maybe some buffing and waxing?

MATT: Oh! As an odd request that many of them have never had, and some of the employees are ecstatic at the idea of one, an automaton that speaks of its own, let alone, one that wants to be pampered. Something that's never happened here. So while everyone else had a good experience, you were royally treated out of curiosity, likely more than anything, but definitely given a lot of attention. If anyone would have any other specific interactions you would wish to bring forth during this time, you may, otherwise we can continue.

LIAM: Did you say the bathing was out in the open and had a full view of the city or of the other spires?

MATT: There are some of the hot bathing arrangements here that are outside of the main bath house that overlooks the edge of the spire, almost like an infinity pool of a hot tub that overlooks the wilds around.

LIAM: I think then that Orym, after an hour or two of bathing and oiling up and all that, it's totally different than home but also very similar because it's high up. It's out in the open, and it's a beautiful view. He would probably take his sword and start moving through the movements of the Zeph'aeratam in full view of the city, just quietly for a half hour, slow movement.

LAURA: Dick out.

LIAM: Dick out. (laughter)

LIAM: That's how you do it. (laughter)

MATT: It's like the intro to Kung Fu.

MARISHA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yes!

MATT: Just a little (flopping). (laughter)

TALIESIN: Definitely.

MATT: Full streamer flopping.

LIAM: I said he was the one with the shortsword. (laughter)

MATT: Oh my god.

TALIESIN: Definitely declined any massage or any, yeah, definitely declined anything like that. But if there was oils or something, would have definitely...

MATT: There were oils. There are many offers. "We can... Okay."

TALIESIN: Don't fucking touch me. But that, you can leave that. (laughter) Definitely use the baths. Took a nice nap.

MATT: Totally.

TALIESIN: Definitely polished up the stone, but yeah.

MATT: All righty.

ASHLEY: I would like a flea bath and tick removal. (laughter)

MATT: "I will get Geria to help you who usually handles. Yes, no worries." And Geria arrives, is this... Gorgeous older tiefling woman whose horns have been clipped and then capped with these rounded gold tips. She has this soft translucent veil across the face. She looks at you, "Ooh, I usually handle the patrons' pets. So you are a grand experience for me as well. Let me take care of you."

ASHLEY: Oh, excellent.

MATT: Indeed puts you through all the pampered paces of many pets here. (laughter)

MARISHA: Do you get a bandana?

ASHLEY: This is lovely. (laughter)

ASHLEY: I hope so!

MATT: You are fluffed majestically.

ASHLEY: Do I get a holiday bandana?

MARISHA: Yeah (laughs).

ASHLEY: St. Patrick's Day or something?

MATT: Yep. (laughter)

MATT: It says on it, The Diamond Horizon. It's embroidered nicely. You look well kept with your curls and your robust hair, but when you all see Fearne arrive, you are just a halo of fluff.

ASHLEY: Oh, ears so floofed.

MATT: Mm-hmm, yeah, yeah.

SAM: Your coat is so shiny.

ASHLEY: Ooh, thank you. I got the best treatment.

MARISHA: Getting Cowardly Lion from Wizard of Oz vibes. (laughter)

MATT: Totally.

LIAM: The werepomerian.

MARISHA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yeah. (laughter)

MARISHA: Laudna doesn't stay in the hot tubs too long because her skin starts flaking off. (groaning)

MARISHA: The longer she's in. So she just, you know. Dorian.

ROBBIE: Hmm?

MARISHA: Look, it's loosened up my joints enough to where I could just pop my shoulder out of the socket. Do you hear that? (laughter)

ROBBIE: What is that floating on the water?

MARISHA: Oh, it's a fingernail.

SAM: Ugh! (groaning)

LIAM: Sorry, cleaning staff.

TRAVIS: Whoa, did you put it in your mouth?

MARISHA: Tasted it.

ASHLEY: It's got keratin.

LAURA: I'm just in the bath, far in the distance. (laughter)

LAURA: Just laughing. (laughter)

ROBBIE: Chetney, what do you think of this whole experience? I'm going to swim, bob away slowly from the floating flesh monster.

TRAVIS: This is the fucking sweet life. I'm letting it all hang out.

ROBBIE: Did you get your massage yet?

TRAVIS: Massage?

ROBBIE: Oh, you don't know?

TRAVIS: No.

ROBBIE: Oh, the whole space is open. You must partake of everything. Let's go find someone. Ah, two massages. Looking for anyone who might be willing to--

SAM: Couples massages. (laughter)

MARISHA: Please do a couples massage.

MATT: Quick enough to find, you are brought into a nice soft chamber where you can see there is a violinist who sits there, just quietly playing. (laughter)

TRAVIS: What the fuck?

ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't worry, don't worry. My friend will take a-- we'll go here and here, here. Do you like it hard or soft?

TRAVIS: Oh god, hard.

ROBBIE: Yeah?

TRAVIS: I think.

ROBBIE: Me, too! Two very (grunts), like almost rolfing and just mess us up!

TRAVIS: Rolfing! (laughter)

MATT: Two delightfully dense looking masseuses approach crack their fingers.

TRAVIS: What are we fighting them or--?

MATT: Oil up.

ROBBIE: No, no. You let them. You just let them go to town. Let it all go. I will tell you this, if they get too deep into your muscles, you might start to feel some emotions. If you start to cry, if you start to, ooh, it hurts so good, just let it out. I won't judge you. I promise.

LIAM: Orym passes behind them outside a window, naked, just slowly... (laughter)

MATT: Yeah, as the mood shifts in this room, the musician sets down the violin and pulls out a shawm and starts playing. And... (laughter)

MATT: It is intense.

TRAVIS: (whimpers)

MATT: Do you embrace it, or do you fight it? (laughter)

TRAVIS: Face down. (laughter)

TRAVIS: (whimpers) (laughter)

TRAVIS: (whimpers)

ROBBIE: Yes, let it out, Chetney! Let it all out!

TRAVIS: (sobbing)

ROBBIE: Just going to reach over and just give him a little pat on the shoulder. (laughter)

LIAM: Does his back leg go-- ? (laughter)

ROBBIE: (sighs)

TRAVIS: That was the single greatest thing. I had memories surface I haven't thought about in years. (sighs) Thank you!

ROBBIE: You're welcome.

TRAVIS: Ah, it's so tender.

ROBBIE: Onto the steam room! (laughter)

MATT: At the threat of a looming sunset, you all reconvene and head back out, feeling much more refreshed and much more ready for the Lucent Spire before you. With a bit of travel beyond the gated homesteads and manors, that often are covered with cultivated greenery to appear overgrown, one with nature, if not for the well-polished stone and gilding visible between the groomed vines and flower boxes. These opulent homesteads are divided by small resting parks and large, if sometimes gaudy, fountains that depict long past guild masters of repute or the celebrated founders of the Chandei Quorum. But then you, based on the directions given to you by Lord Eshteross, approach one of the comparable modest estates. By no means any less wealthy than the wealthiest in any other spire you've visited. This crescent-shaped manor appears like a gathering of bright green domes atop of white marble with impressively tall arches that mark waypoints between the main chambers, visible through large glass windows. A single short tower rises from the structures, a personal observatory built within. Landscaped hedges and imported non-Marquesian trees dot the lawn surrounding the abode. It looks like two wardens are standing vigil. As you step up, one of them turns. "Your business?"

LIAM: We have a meeting here. We wish to see Ginang Ela Lumas. We've been sent by Lord Eshteross.

MATT: Begins to speak up and a voice says, "Do not worry. They are expected." A hand goes and taps one on the shoulder. As he steps back to look, you see a human woman, late 50s, maybe early 60s. She, between the cracks of age, there is a calm beauty and a silent strength to the way she holds herself. Even though she stands much shorter than the guardians up front, there is already a weight that she carries. Everyone around just steps aside and bows in respect. She is dressed in an all white ensemble with a thin white veil over the head. Her dress, an entire symbol for her wealth and station. Those of you who are from around here, you know this white dress is often a mourning attire. She looks like a picture of a woman growing more beautiful with age. Her russet skin cracked with her recent emotional moments, but smiles up towards the rest of you. "So you have come to speak with Oshad, yes?"

LIAM: Yes.

MATT: "If I might ask out of my own curiosity, what for?"

LIAM: Well, I've come a very long way from Tal'Dorei, ma'am. I'm from Zephrah. I'm not sure if you're familiar.

MATT: "I have heard of this place, though I've not visited."

LIAM: Well, several years ago, there was an attack in my home. And... We have word from a mutual friend, of Oshad Breshio's, that what you suffered here is similar.

MATT: "What is your intent in coming here, then?"

LIAM: We just wish to know more. The Ashari, we-- The working theory is that they were testing our defenses. It's been some time since it happened, but when word got back, uh... I don't know. It's been worrying our leader's mind for some time. So we're trying to wrap up loose ends. Be ready if it's not finished.

MATT: "So you wish to find who's responsible for this attack?"

LIAM: Absolutely.

MATT: "Then in bringing peace to this shattered heart, you are a friend of this family. Come." She turns, the wardens step aside, and you see before you the stoned walkway that leads through the center of this house exterior to where you can see an open archway and a door that's already ajar, leading you further into the house. You all follow?

LIAM: Is this group okay?

MATT: The wardens nod. "If they are your companions, then yes."

LIAM: They are.

MATT: They keep an eye and they keep their weapons at the ready. But they, as you all begin to step in, follow behind. While they do not enter the abode behind you, they do just stay vigilant. Stepping into the house, you're met immediately with this wonderful smell that is a combination of fresh herbs, some meal that was recently cooked. It looks like there is a platter of various crackers and a basin filled with a fresh yogurt. The woman turns. "I am Ginang Ela Lumas and this is my family's abode here. You are welcome to make yourselves at home while you are here. I will let Oshad know that you have arrived." She leaves the chamber off to the right, curving around, not even a corner, but just a hallway curvature just of view. You're left alone for a moment to glance about the-- I would say not modestly decorated, but definitely comparison to some of the more outgoing establishments that you've walked by on the way here, it has a more of a minimalistic embrace of the space. A short time later, she returns and says, "Come, come," and leads you into a room where you can see there's a window that leads out to an exterior garden on the opposite side of this building. There is a bed, there is a man who is currently laying semi-reclined within, blankets over. The window is partially open, and the sun setting not too far off is bringing in this orangish-red warmth to the inside of the room. She bows her head. As you step in, the man looks over to acknowledge. You see before you a male dwarf, probably in his middle 50s or so. He is, even in his reclined position, a broad wall of dark muscle, smooth bald head, sculpted goatee that comes to a braided point that rests down to about where his sternum is. Rich black skin, handsome, rugged. He carries a confidence and calm that exudes even while recovering with what you see now are bandages in his somewhat bed-bound state. He sits up a bit and adjusts his pillow. "So. What can I do for these unfamiliar arrivals?"

LIAM: I take a step forward. Oshad Breshio?

MATT: "That is me."

LIAM: My name is Orym of the Air Ashari. And Jarett Howarth tells me you and I have faced a very similar enemy.

MARISHA: (whispers) Jarett!

MATT: "Hmm. You are friends with Jarett, then?" (gasping)

LIAM: More of an associate for me, although I have met him. I, for years, served under the Voice of The Tempest in Zephrah and her dear friends in Whitestone have heard from Jarett what happened to you. I wanted to hear your story.

MATT: "Of course." Smiles the bright smile of well-kept teeth. "Ah, well, I met Jarett a long time ago, We were both-- We were looking to make our fortunes in this world and we began as ragtag sellswords in a way, before he moved on to hopefully better fortunes off in Tal'Dorei. I myself kept to here and made a name. Well, that was a long time ago. Those days are long over, and I found friendship and residency here within House Lumas." He adjusts his hand over and you see behind you, that Ginang Ela nods as well. She's still present in this conversation. "To cut to the chase, based on what you are putting forward and your reasoning, I was hired many years ago by this family to keep them safe. And I have for some time and only until recently failed. I carry that with me and will probably 'til the end of my days. The Lumas twins of this Mahaan House, they were named Balan and Zeyar." He looks over towards Ela who closes her eyes and nods. "Well, Ela is the matriarch that maintained the unity of this house with the other Mahaans and their family graces to the Chandei Quorum. The twins, they were more scholars within the Starpoint. Their focuses on planar contact, celestial bodies and stars, more of a hobbyist obsession also with the crystal fauna that occasionally grows deep in the Heartmoor."

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: "We were attacked while visiting the Heartmoor deep in the Wilds. Along with some of our compatriots, we were gathering and meeting a family friend at the Hamlet. They're called Estani. Estani is a retired astronomist from the city of Yios within the realm of Aeshanadoor. They met there often to share their findings and research and conjecture about the greater mysteries of Exandria and beyond." Turns towards you and gets extremely serious, his demeanor shifting to that of a soldier. "There were three attackers. All dressed in black-stained leather armor wearing dark gray clothing, dark cloth masks over their heads, showing no recognizable features. Similar in build, I could not tell the gender of the attackers, but they were all extremely skilled and incredibly fast. Their weapons were envenomed. Sadly, my capabilities were overwhelmed before I could protect the twins. I myself nearly fell to the toxin and I am mostly recovered, but I could not stop them before the twins fell to their blades. When I cut through their killer, their bodies, I watched immediately melting before me, like I'd cut a net filled with fish. The armor and clothes emptied into a puddle of dark gray and black liquid, a sludge. I'd never seen anything like it before."

LIAM: We saw the same-- I saw the same.

MATT: "I told Jarett this when he came to visit, hearing of my attack."

LIAM: Was there anything? I mean, we found nothing. They murdered several of ours.

MATT: "I-- to be honest, I was taken here to recover and woke up in the graces of Ginang. But Estani might know more. They were not present during the attack, but they were responsible for the investigation that followed. Perhaps you could speak with them."

LIAM: In the Heartmoor. I'm sorry, I'm just getting to know the lay of the land here. Forgive me, I'm very sorry for your loss, ma'am, and for yours. How far is the travel to the Heartmoor?

TALIESIN: Few days.

MATT: "By foot, the better part of a week, but by horse, much quicker."

LIAM: Okay. (sighs) Well, I'm not going to lie, I was hoping to find answers today, but things are rarely that simple.

MATT: "What else are you looking for?"

LIAM: Answers. Justice.

MATT: "Me, too. Once I'm off of this cot, I'm going to look for them as well."

LIAM: Just sort of looks at the group. Is there anything else I can do for you here?

MATT: "Ela is ensuring that I have whatever I need, but."

LIAM: Did you see where they came from? They just materialized in the heart of our city.

MATT: "I have had my share of experiences with would-be assassins, whether they be trained cutthroats or elite daggermen. There was something incredibly precise and intent. It went so quickly. These are skills I have not seen before."

LIAM: I saw the best people I knew cut down in seconds.

MATT: "I do not know who would be responsible or capable of training a host of killers able to work together in such unison, and the thought scares me. It makes me angry."

LIAM: I appreciate what information you could share. If I learn anything, you'll be the first to hear.

MATT: "As I will to you. If you get to Estani and ask before I can, just tell them I am sorry. I couldn't be stronger for them. For Balan and Zeyar. They were good kids. They did not deserve this. (sighs)"

LIAM: Clasp him by the hand, the forearm: Well, let's see if we can return the favor.

MATT: "Yeah. Yeah." As he holds you and you feel the strength in that grip. It almost begins to hurt, in how tight that rough grip begins to clasp on your forearm, as you see in those eyes, this gentle soul, for a moment, give you a glimpse as to why he has the nickname The Anger. "We will."

LIAM: Orym is a little out-of-body in this moment, so the pain of the grip grounds him. Thank you. Thank you, ma'am.

MATT: She nods.

LIAM: Well, we've taken up enough of your time and hospitality.

MATT: "How can I-- Where can I reach to you, should I learn anything?"

LAURA: I think Lord Eshteross would be a good place to start.

LIAM: That's the beginning, yeah. We've been working with Lord Eshteross for about a week, this group and I, so he'd be a good touchstone.

MATT: Ela chimes in with, "I know him. He is a good man. I'll make introductions. We will keep in contact."

LIAM: Well, thank you again. Thank you. And thank you.

SAM: Sorry for your loss.

MATT: "Thank you. Justice. And you should rest," and looking over towards Oshad, who's like, "Honestly, if the venom didn't kill me, it's the banality of all of this that is going to finish me off. I'm just going to take a walk through the garden." He gets out of bed and grabs a cane off to the side.

TRAVIS: I'd heavily recommend a massage, if you've ever had one. I had this big bitch walking all over my back. It set me right.

MATT: Ela begins laughing. "(laughs) Refreshing. It has been some time, maybe... You're right, maybe I should not wallow as much. Anyway, I will show you out."

ASHLEY: I give her just a little handful of snowdrops.

MATT: She takes your hand as you hand them over, and holds them and looks you in the eyes with a deeply, strongly connected, immediate meeting your emotion at the same place and smiles. "Thank you. (sighs)" She walks out.

SAM: We got to find who did this, right?

LIAM: I would like to, yeah. Kind of a tall order.

LAURA: They were attacked, where? In the Heartmoor?

LIAM: Yes.

SAM: Which is where we had to go anyway?

LAURA: Yeah, I mean, if anything, that gives us more drive to go take on that mission.

LIAM: Yes, it does.

MARISHA: They were studying crystal fauna? Did I hear that right?

LAURA: Yeah, that's what it sounded like.

LIAM: DM, was that the word? Was it crystal fauna?

MATT: Correct, they were scholars from the Starpoint Conservatory with focuses on planar contact, celestial bodies and stars, and a hobbyist obsession with the crystal fauna that occasionally grows deep in the Heartmoor.

LAURA: What the heck? It's all connected.

MARISHA: Did I hear you correctly, when you said, when you chopped into these people, they turned into black goop? Is that what you said?

LIAM: I stabbed one person through the heart, and they sloughed off of my blade in seconds.

MARISHA: That's gross. (laughter)

SAM: Even for you.

MARISHA: Yes.

TRAVIS: This was in your hometown, not here, right?

LIAM: Yes, across the ocean.

TRAVIS: Right.

LIAM: Coast of Tal'Dorei.

MARISHA: What would they want? What is the--

SAM: Yeah, why kill this lady's kids?

LAURA: How old were the twins?

TRAVIS: Oh, good question.

MATT: Do you ask on the way out?

LAURA: I don't want to ask her. Is there someone I could ask there--

SAM: We can ask her.

TRAVIS: A steward or a ward?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Oh yeah, there are a few stewards within the house, that are just handling things. You pull one off to the side and ask, "Um, what?"

LAURA: I'm sorry to ask. How old were the twins?

MATT: "They were somewhat young, early 20s, I think. 22, if I recall."

LAURA: Oh. Thank you very much.

MATT: "Of course."

SAM: Sorry about your loss. You know, those who are loved are never lost. Unless it's your keys.

MATT: "Thank you, strange automaton person."

SAM: Well, what do we do now?

TALIESIN: Well, if we want to, I might've gotten a response at the spa of a come by or a not come by. I imagine.

MATT: No response yet, actually.

TALIESIN: Nothing?

MATT: Nothing yet.

LIAM: Well, I think I will want to make my way to the Heartmoor before too long.

SAM: ♪ Makin' my way. ♪

LIAM: Yeah, I want to make my way. (laughter)

LAURA: Maybe immediately after the ball?

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: I feel like it would be very hard to get there and back in time.

LIAM: Oh, traveling through a place we've never been to find high-level assassins? Yeah. Take our time.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Prepare.

MARISHA: It's tricky. No one wants to be transparent about secret dealings, but it feels like that's got to be the connective tissue here. Do you know anything else about the attack that happened on your people and why? What they were after?

LIAM: (sighs) There's only conjecture. The Voice of the Tempest has floated the idea that it was some sort of trial run, maybe? But then years went by. Six. They dropped out of a tree in the center of where I grew up and made an attempt on her life. They didn't get very close before several of ours were dead. She tripled in size and turned to stone and flattened the last of them. The remains melted away.

LAURA: Nobody had ever tried to attack her before?

LIAM: Not like that. Nothing concerted, not an attempt on her life, not in my presence. Not that I was with her at all the time.

TALIESIN: So you came here because there are more of your people here who had similar experience?

LIAM: No, sorry. This attack happened in Zephrah six years ago. I left Zephrah soon after that, started to travel a bit. It was only recently that a man named Jarett Howarth was in Whitestone in Tal'Dorei and heard from the Lord and Lady of Whitestone.

SAM: (whispers) Whitestone.

LIAM: Sorry, that Jarett was back from here and told his story to the Lord and Lady of Whitestone, and then it got back to us. The leaders in Zephrah and Whitestone are quite close.

TRAVIS: Your Voice of the Tempest, did she send you to leave Zephrah to find out more?

LIAM: She did. We have. I brought Fearne and Dorian back with me. We were--

ASHLEY: We got to meet the Voice of the Tempest.

SAM: Does she go by The Voice? Is that what you call her?

LIAM: Well, her name is Keyleth. She is the Voice of the Tempest.

SAM: Oh, I see.

MARISHA: She sounds unfathomably awesome.

SAM: I don't know. He said that she tripled in size and beat these guys up. She sounds kind of violent.

MARISHA: So amazing.

LAURA: Powerful, very powerful.

SAM: Very animate-able.

MARISHA: And attractive. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Very beautiful.

LIAM: Funny sometimes, too. But I mostly just eavesdropped on conversations.

SAM: DM, this Heartmoor area? Is that near where my group was slain?

MATT: No.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: You were further to the east of Jrusar. The Heartmoor is to the northwest.

SAM: But it's still part of the Oderan Wilds?

MATT: Correct.

SAM: Okay. This is a wild place.

MATT: It's an Oderan Wild place.

SAM: Well, another thread--

LAURA: Yeah, but it's all intertwined. That's several threads together.

SAM: They are getting tied up. I guess we just wait for the ball and then do other stuff? Or should we go for you and do stuff for you?

LAURA: The Starlight Conservatory.

ASHLEY: We could do that before the ball.

TALIESIN: That's a good thing to do in the meantime.

LAURA: The twins studied there, maybe--

MARISHA: That's true.

LIAM: Might be somebody there knew them.

LAURA: Exactly, maybe they knew something about where they were going specifically.

LIAM: We've got a week here, almost.

MARISHA: Yes, yes.

LIAM: So that letter gets you in.

LAURA: It does.

SAM: Probably not all of us, though.

LIAM: Probably not.

LAURA: I don't know. We can always try.

TALIESIN: It's nice to have an entourage.

LAURA: "Written approval for the entry and use of Conservatory services." It doesn't say specifically for me. It just says entry.

ROBBIE: We could pretend to be a study group.

MARISHA: Sure.

LAURA: Yeah. I mean, they recognize us, probably, because Laudna and I certainly went there quite a few times before we met up with you.

SAM: We look like students.

ROBBIE: I think so.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: What? (laughter)

ROBBIE: Non-traditional students.

SAM: Extended.

TRAVIS: I have tenure. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Same. Just get some parchment and a quill, and just walk in like we're taking notes.

SAM: Sure.

LAURA: We could go by there tonight. I'm assuming. I don't know how late it's open. No, it is! It's open late. We could go tonight if we wanted to.

ASHLEY: I'm down.

SAM: Okay.

LIAM: Whatever you want, Imogen.

LAURA: I mean, I would love to go, I don't want to go--

LIAM: I mean, you want to go there right now.

LAURA: I want to go there right now. I don't enjoy sleeping very much. If this can give some sort of relief--

TRAVIS: You don't enjoy sleeping?

LAURA: Mm-mm.

TRAVIS: Why?

LAURA: Yeah, I-I-I have dreams. Persistent dreams.

TRAVIS: I would think so.

LAURA: Yeah, yes. As most people do.

TRAVIS: Like bad dreams?

LAURA: They are quite unpleasant.

TRAVIS: Oh. I feel like I'm missing something. Letters?

LAURA: Nightmares, I have a nightmare. A nightmare about a big storm. Consistently. I don't know why. I got my powers after those dreams started appearing. It's got to be connected, right?

TRAVIS: Yeah, that tracks.

LIAM: We've been trying really hard to get that letter, right?

LAURA: Yes.

LIAM: I can't think of a better thing to do, to go and put it to use tonight.

MARISHA: Plus, we smell good.

LAURA: Yeah! This is the best we've ever smelled.

LIAM: Together at the same time.

ASHLEY: I say we go.

TALIESIN: I'll say that there might be a quick stop of convenience on the way. It shouldn't take too long.

SAM: Why? Do you have to take a dump?

TALIESIN: Since we're in the neighborhood, Miss Hexum does live not that far away from here.

MARISHA: Oh!

TALIESIN: That might not be bad just to update her on the current situation.

LAURA: I would hate to go to another spire before--

SAM: Should we go there now, then?

TALIESIN: Do we have to pass the bathhouse on the way?

MATT: It's not terribly far from where you are. Technically, it's not past where you are. It's the other direction from where the cable car brought you. You can make a little detour.

TALIESIN: We'll make a little detour and see if the note was left.

MATT: Right, so, for the sake of brevity, you head over towards the exterior of the estate, which you all get to witness in all of its semi-ominous glory. Upon knocking on the door, a servant comes to the door. It's a very thin and frustratingly self-important servant greets you before letting you know, after a brief conversation, "Miss Hexum is gone for the evening. I apologize. You have to come back later." (laughter)

TALIESIN: (mimics accent) Did you receive the letter I sent? (laughter) Earlier today?

MATT: "A letter was received. I can tell you are mocking me."

TALIESIN: It's not hard. (laughter)

MATT: "Good evening." (door slamming)

TALIESIN: I pound real loud one more time. (fist slamming)

MATT: "Yes?"

TALIESIN: Let her know that I came by with the new Nobodies and she can call whenever she fucking likes. Good day.

MATT: (door slamming)

TALIESIN: All right, we left a message. On to your people.

LIAM: With the who?

TALIESIN: I was talking to her about having a new group again, because I hadn't had a group since the old Nobodies. She made a joke, or I made it. I don't know. It just came up, and I put it in the letter.

LIAM: The group were called the Old Nobodies?

TALIESIN: They were the Nobodies. And-- You know.

LAURA: It's a good name.

MARISHA: We're the New Nobodies?

TALIESIN: I guess. To her, at least at the moment. Or anybody else who would give a fuck.

MARISHA: Wait. How would that sound being shouted out at a ball?

ROBBIE: Ooh, not bad! Wait, let me picture it. A marquee, too.

MARISHA: Right, oh, you know. An announcer.

ROBBIE: (coughs)

SAM: You okay?

ROBBIE: I'm just excited about the idea.

TRAVIS: (thwack) (laughter)

SAM: (as Chetney) Weren't expecting that one, were you? (laughter)

ROBBIE: I'm always so full of-- Why don't you give it a try? It's your idea.

MARISHA: Oh, I've never been to a ball.

ROBBIE: That's all right. You exude theatricality. So yes, yes, tap into your inner performer and give it your all.

MARISHA: Everyone bend a knee! (laughter)

ROBBIE: Hold-- Hmm. No. It's good, just a few notes. A little...

ASHLEY: I love it already.

ROBBIE: Can you smile? Yes, yes, and you're very excited that you're introducing them, very excited. It's a happy occasion. You can stop pulling your hair. One more time. Here we go. Introduce them to the crowd of beautiful shining people.

MARISHA: Beautiful shining people, please welcome the New Nobodies! There is a smile. (applauding)

ASHLEY: That actually sounded a little cool!

ROBBIE: Very good, very good.

MARISHA: Is that what they do? Is that right?

ROBBIE: It's close.

LAURA: A lot of teeth.

TALIESIN: So many teeth. You have so many teeth.

MARISHA: (laughs)

ROBBIE: We'll work on it.

MARISHA: All right.

TRAVIS: The New Nobodies.

MARISHA: Both sound fun.

TRAVIS: Alliteration.

MATT: Okay, so you head towards the Aerie Spire, then.

SAM: Oh!

LAURA: Yes.

SAM: Oh, have we been there before?

LAURA: I mean, I have.

SAM: Oh, okay. I got to make a new page in my notebook.

LAURA: Your notes are so organized.

MATT: Traveling through the ending rays of sunset, the night comes here in Jrusar. As the fog begins to gather in the jungles below, you can hear the calls and caws of birds and simurghs through the air, eventually rising up to the thinnest of the spires, which is mostly just rock up until it begins to rise up into the tower-like structures that curl and peak. As you reach the exterior of the Conservatory, you are greeted once again with the Escritorae Kunthea.

LAURA and MARISHA: Kunthea!

SAM: Wait, what?

MARISHA: Kunthea. (laughter)

MATT: Goddamn it. As you approach in the early hours of the evening. "Hello, I am terribly sorry, but this is... Oh, hello?" (laughter)

LAURA: Wonderful to see you again.

MATT: "You as well. Have you become a-- What is this?"

LAURA: I just take Laudna's hand.

MATT: "I'll be right back." She exits, leaves for a few moments. Comes back.

MARISHA: This is the moment.

MATT: "The Conservatory grounds are yours." (gasping)

LAURA: With my fellow scholars?

MATT: "They are yours. Not your companions."

LAURA: Oh.

ASHLEY: Like she owns them now?

MATT: "No. What? Who are you?"

ASHLEY: You just said they're hers, so--

MATT: "You are welcome to use the facilities as if you were a student, yes."

LAURA: Thank you.

MATT: "The rest of you must wait."

ASHLEY: Well, they'll be hers soon. We'll see you later, Kunthea. (laughter)

MATT: She huffs a bit and straightens her shirt.

LIAM: Oh wow.

ASHLEY: I'm sorry. I just thought she was a bit rude.

LAURA: She is.

ASHLEY: Is she?

MARISHA: A little Kunthy?

ASHLEY: A little. (laughter)

LAURA: All right, well. Do y'all want to wait? Or do you want me to meet up with--

ASHLEY: This place is exciting.

MARISHA: It's just, you worked so hard for this. Take all the time you need. Do you know what you're looking for?

LAURA: I mean, I'm going to try to look up, you know... I don't even know exactly what I'm-- But you wanted to look for things, too, and we didn't get you--

MARISHA: We'll cross that bridge. Is she still here?

MATT: You guys have stepped away from her at the moment, I'll say.

MARISHA: Maybe if you prove yourself a good student, responsible, maybe--

MATT: This has been returned to you.

MARISHA: The rest of us can come in next time.

LAURA: Sure.

TRAVIS: Why are you acting like you're the only person that has to go in? Dorian can make somebody invisible.

SAM: We wouldn't want to ruin it for her if someone were discovered.

TRAVIS: Well, the door is open now. I just say you walk through it.

LAURA: I will walk through it. But as I'm walking away, just send me anything you think of, okay, that you want me to look up, just let me know, all right? I've got my connection with you.

MARISHA: Okay, all right.

SAM: You can do this. Just-- You can accomplish anything if you believe in yourself or if you have wealthy parents. (laughter)

LAURA: Thank you, Letters.

ASHLEY: I think that is true, actually.

LAURA: Y'all really don't have to wait, I don't know how long it's going to take. I can meet you anywhere.

MARISHA: We'll just stay by this really opulent fountain.

ASHLEY: There's so much to do out here. Look at all that money in there.

LIAM: Is this an overnight thing? Are we seeing you tomorrow?

LAURA: I don't know how long. It could take hours. You know what I mean? (laughter) I mean, maybe I can come in on the-- I could come here every day before we have to go to the ball, before we leave town. I don't know.

LIAM: Have fun. Go in there and enjoy it. You worked hard to get here.

LAURA: Okay, okay.

ASHLEY: You got this. If you need anything, you just talk to us in our heads.

LAURA: Okay.

ASHLEY: I give her a little pat on the booty. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Get in there!

LAURA: All right.

MATT: All right, with your seal, asking around, you are eventually brought to the Conservatory library entrance. You show that you are indeed meant to belong here. You are assigned a scribe who helps in the library who can show you around. It is incredibly massive. At least, to anything you've seen library-wise. It is hundreds of feet of books that just surround this semicircle chamber and rising up with ladders that glide along, and you can see other students are rising up and down and bringing books to tables and stacks around, and while there is soft music playing, it is mostly quiet and bereft of conversation. It takes you a bit to get your bearings. It's overwhelming, there's almost a sense of combined euphoria and anxiety that hits with the possibilities before you, but you find yourself quickly diving in and looking about. What is it you're looking for?

LAURA: I'm looking for books on-- oh god. Storms, red storms, anything famous like that. I'm looking for the manifestation of powers, where things like telekinesis or telepathy would come from. I'm looking for... Oh jeez. Gifts, as in dreams that are prophetic in some way.

MATT: Okay, make an investigation check for me. I'll say with advantage, because you do have a scribe helping you out.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: Let's go, let's go.

LAURA: Wow.

LIAM: Ooh, they match.

LAURA: They do.

SAM: Two natural 20s?

LAURA: Two fives.

MARISHA: Aww.

LAURA: Plus two.

MATT: So this isn't so that you won't find what you want, but it will take some time. While the rest of you slowly begin to wait and wander and begin to nod off at the benches that surround the exterior, the hours go by and go by as Imogen is completely enthralled and enraptured by the possibilities of answers and paths before her. You find a number of books and begin poring through them. Some that play into gifts, some that play into dreams, many books that lead into dreams, and some that are research papers, some that are just historical novels. Some of them are interesting, some of them, you quickly toss to the side, but you begin making notes. A few things you learn. Dreams have been studied since dreams have existed. Many take dreams to be a window into the collective subconscious of all mortal beings, where ideas, fears, and aspirations are shared amongst us all. Theories often collect around them representing the soul, seeking to make sense of a senseless world, or being a direct connection to distant divinity. Inviting their visions to grant direction and purpose. Other theories discuss dreams being a doorway to the soul, where powerful entities, whether just or corrupt, can seek to shape the mortal life into a tool for their grander machinations. Some theorize that dreams are the lessons of lives long passed, speaking out to the living in hopes of teaching from their mistakes. Dreams are believed by some Exandrian cultures as glimpses, also, into possible futures. Divination magic can often utilize dreams as a canvas for visions, prophecy, and communication. Some powerful magic wielders have historically been able to manipulate dreams through spellcraft and such work has allowed whole populations to be manipulated, if unchecked. Now, dreams of red storms are a sparse study, but one that does exist. A copy of a study spearheaded by Professor Kadija Sumal is found where there is a theorized pattern of individuals across Exandria sharing an occasionally reoccurring dream where a roiling storm of red chases and consumes. Historically, the few records of such accounts seem to swell near the reoccurring celestial solstice, which is on a roughly 30-year cycle, and have been growing with time as interest in the phenomenon begins to increase within academic circles. Now, theories surrounding the dreams involve worry about spiritually or psychically sensitive individuals of varying sensitivities being touched by fiendish influence, or Ruidus tidal corruption, or elemental boundary flares or failures. A list of names seems to accompany the study, marked as contributors or subjects. Among the names, one stands out to you. Liliana Temult. (gasping)

MATT: Your mother.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

MATT: There also appears to be more pages to this study, but they have been torn from the binding.

SAM: Ooh. (gasping)

MATT: And that's where we're going to end tonight's episode. (exclamations)

LAURA: Shit!

MARISHA: Ruidus. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Your momma did some university studies.

MARISHA: Oh shit, little sleep study action, little university study.

ASHLEY: Shit.

TRAVIS: Oh no.

MATT: So we'll pick up from there next time.

TRAVIS: Pages torn out?

ASHLEY: The pages, once they got to her mom?

MATT: Once they got to a certain porn, a certain porn? (laughter) A certain bunch of pornography drawn in there!

TRAVIS: Sure, you got to--

MATT: Just tear it right--

LIAM: It's a different section of the library. (laughter)

MATT: Once you get to a certain part within the study, it's just torn out.

LIAM: Now for rack, now for ruin, and the coming of the red porn. (laughter)

LAURA: Oh shit!

ROBBIE: Oh man.

MARISHA: Oh shit!

TRAVIS: Good shit, Matt.

MATT: Anyway, we'll close tonight. Thank you so much for joining us. We love you very much, and is it Thursday yet? Good night.

TRAVIS: Oh man!