Transcript:The Mighty Nein Reunited Part 2 – Uk'otoa Unleashed

Pre-show
MATT: Hello, everyone and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

ALL: We play Dungeons & Dragons!

MATT: This is the second part of our Mighty Nein Reunion two-shot and I'm very curious as to what the fuck happened to this table. I have a feeling it has something to do with the first of our sponsors tonight, which is D&D Beyond. And as usual, we want to send some love to D&D Beyond, the free to use digital tool set that makes D&D super easy to play, from building characters to creating and tracking encounters and battles. For more from D&D Beyond, Sam, please, for the love of god, tell me what you're wearing.

SAM: Girl.

MATT: Oh my god.

SAM: In honor of Dragonlance coming out soon, I'm Dragon Lance Bass.

MATT: No!

SAM: From the hit and very contemporary boy band *NSLYNK, and Dragonlance: Shadow of the Dragon Queen ♪ Is tearing up ♪ my cart, baby ♪

MARISHA: Nice.

MATT: No

SAM: There's options to play as a Knight of Solamnia, run edge-of-your-seat dragon encounters, and for you Exandria fans--

TRAVIS: Those your boy band moves? (laughter)

SAM: Plenty of moon stuff. So many incredible stories to roll your 20-sided ♪ Die, die, die ♪

LAURA: That's where you do the thing.

SAM, LAURA, and MARISHA: ♪ Die, die, die ♪

ASHLEY: I'll give you that one.

MATT: Cool.

LAURA: ♪ Die, die ♪ (half-hearted chuckles)

MATT: But is everybody everybody in the band, then? Is that what this is?

LIAM: (deadpan) No. I'm... Dragon Lance Armstrong. (laughter)

LIAM: Disgraced bicycle champion, here to pedal how Dragonlance is bringing epic warfare to your table-- (laughter)

LIAM: -- with Warriors of Krynn. (laughter)

LIAM: I grew up on Dragonlance. (laughter)

LIAM: The strategy war game that ties into your Dragonlance campaign, available in December. It's a real... I need a drink of this not-water.

TRAVIS: The personal death that's happening.

MARISHA: Yes, yes, yes.

LIAM: It's a real tour de force. France? (laughter)

LIAM: Tour de farce? Kill me.

MATT: Okay. So you're all different Lances.

MARISHA: Yeah. Yeah. I'm Dragon Lance Henriksen.

TRAVIS: Oh boy!

MARISHA: You know, from "Aliens"?

MATT: I know. Yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah. According to IMDB, I was on a Fox show called "Millennium." I didn't watch it.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: I don't think anyone watched it.

TRAVIS: I'm Dragon Lance Johnson, center fielder for the 1987 St. Louis Cardinals.

MATT: (sputters) What?

TRAVIS: Well, there are very many Lances, Matt! I don't even like the Cardinals! (laughter)

ASHLEY: I mean, I found it pretty easy, to be honest.

MATT: Who are you?

ASHLEY: Dragon Lance Burton! He was a Vegas magician in the early 2000s! No duh! I had to Wikipedia.

TRAVIS: Nice one. Nice one.

LAURA: This was a hard one, Sam? I am Dragon Walter Lance! (laughter)

LAURA: Creator of Woody Woodpecker! (laughter)

TRAVIS: Last name.

LAURA: Yeah. Next time, can you give us more than a day to prep for this?

SAM: How about you, Taliesin?

MARISHA: Your pad and pencil.

LAURA: Yeah! I'm drawing!

SAM: She's a cartoonist.

LAURA: I'm drawing.

MARISHA: Oh my god!

SAM: What about you, Taliesin? Which Lance are you?

TALIESIN: I'm not playing because Marisha took Dragon Lance Henriksen and she wouldn't give it back.

MARISHA: I said I was sorry!

TALIESIN: You don't even know who he is!

MARISHA: I don't!

SAM: Start your journey into Krynn with the Dragonlance digital plus physical bundle at DNDBeyond.link/CRDragonlance. Matt, God must have spent a little more time going back to you.

ALL: Oh!

TRAVIS: Oh boy! Oh boy! Woo! Advantage. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Perma advantage.

TALIESIN: Wow!

LAURA: Did we all just get an inspiration die?

TALIESIN: I feel inspired by this.

MATT: I think I lost about a year of my life. (laughter)

MATT: Our next sponsor is Skillshare! This episode is sponsored by our friends at Skillshare, an online learning community with thousands of inspiring classes for creative and curious people that want to learn new skills. As a special offer for our audience, the first 1000 Critters to join Skillshare by following the link SKL.SH, sklsh, (laughter)

MATT: SKL.SH/CriticalRole08221.

MATT: SKL.SH/CriticalRole08221. I'm sure you got that in your brain. Will get a one month free trial. (laughter)

MATT: Skillshare offers classes designed for real life and all of the circumstances that come with it, including photography, illustration, graphic design, creative writing, TV/VCR repair. That's not true. And music. Your day-to-day filled with tasks and endless to-do lists. Prioritize your self-care and wellness by using Skillshare as a way to invest in yourself, unwind and relax. (whooping)

MATT: Go check out Skillshare for yourself now and thanks to them so much for supporting the show. (whooping)

MATT: Now, to try and make up for this, Sam.

SAM: This one's a normal. This one's a normal.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Our third sponsor--

TRAVIS: "A normal." (laughter)

SAM: Our third sponsor is third in the list for tonight, but first in our hearts. This episode is also sponsored by our old friends at Backblaze.

LAURA: Backblaze!

SAM: Making backing up and accessing your digital data astonishingly easy with unlimited computer backups for Macs and PCs. Now through the end of the year, get 25% off by entering discount code "CriticalRole" at checkout. Back up all your docs, photos, video, social media content projects, and anything else for just $7 a month. You can even access your backup files on the web and on the go with their iOS and Android apps. I'm halfway through. If you ever need-- (laughter)

SAM: If you ever need anything to come back to you, you can even get a hard drive with all your data shipped to your door. Backblaze has helped recover 55 billion files or more for their customers. Yeah, but some of those were really tiny. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Little GIFs! (soft-G)

SAM: Yeah, little GIFs. (soft-G)

ASHLEY: What did you say?

MARISHA: Little GIFs. (soft-G)

SAM: It backs up fast, which is why they're recommended by New York Times, Mac World Times, Tom's Guide, and more. You can get a 15-day, no-risk free trial right now at Backblaze.com/CriticalRole. Thanks, Backblaze! We love you, Yev! Back to you.

TRAVIS: Thanks, Backblaze! (cheering)

LIAM: Oh, it's shedding!

MATT: It is.

MARISHA: I was trying to make it on your mask.

LAURA: (screams) No! Get rid of it! Get rid of it!

MARISHA: Don't give it water after midnight.

MATT: It's pronounced GIFs. (hard-G)

ASHLEY: GIFs! (soft-G)

MATT: I think--

LAURA: Do I have Marisha wig hair in my water now?

TALIESIN: Oh no! Now I'm worried.

MATT: All right, dragons. Bring it together. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Yar.

MATT: I think that concludes our announcements.

TRAVIS: Double dragons!

MATT: So with that, let's go ahead and jump in into tonight's episode of Critical Role.

SAM: Yeah! (water bubbling) (thunder rumbling) (explosion) ♪ Role ♪ ♪ Critical, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Critical, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Mighty Nein ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪ (roll the dice) ♪

LAURA: ♪ The adventure begins ♪ ♪ They were always ♪ beside you ♪ ♪ Your nerdy best friends ♪ ♪ And the DM to guide you ♪

ASHLEY and LAURA: ♪ And they rise from the flames ♪ ♪ for the battles ahead ♪ ♪ Villains beware because ♪ you're about to be dead ♪

ASHLEY: ♪ They got magic and flair ♪ ♪ They got falchions ♪ and cunning ♪ ♪ They don't see over there ♪ ♪ There's ♪ a monster incoming ♪

ASHLEY and LAURA: ♪ Inspiration is waiting ♪ ♪ Rise up, ♪ don't think twice ♪ ♪ Put your fate ♪ in your hands ♪ ♪ Take a chance, ♪ roll the dice ♪ ♪ Roll the dice (Role) ♪ ♪ Critical Role ♪ (roll the dice) ♪ ♪ Critical Role ♪ (roll the dice) ♪ ♪ Can you answer the call ♪ ♪ Diggin' deep in your soul ♪ ♪ As the legend unfolds ♪ ♪ Now it's your turn ♪ (your turn, your turn) ♪ ♪ To roll ♪ (flames crackling) (dragon roaring)

MATT: And welcome back. So last we left off: The Mighty Nein, months after their excursion to Cognouza and scattering to the four winds to enjoy their journeys, less intruded upon by the challenges and dangers of the world had discovered, when the ship that Fjord, Jester, and Kingsley they were upon was assailed by powerful followers of Uk'otoa, hellbent on finalizing the nearly unleashed entity. Upon destroying your ship and possibly about to destroy your companion, you handed over the final orb, the key to unleashing him, and then the rest--

LAURA: It's okay, Fjord. (laughter)

MATT: Then, gathering the remnants of your crew, now lost at sea in the midst of a great storm, you found your way to an island and called for help. The rest of your troop, the Mighty Nein, began to gather and when you all found each other, you began to follow the path of where this storm giant, this mage worshiper entity of Uk'otoa and a number of the scion followers are off to. Seeing them heading northward past the waters of the Menagerie Coast towards a familiar jungle that you had once seen in your vision as the third temple, you head that direction. Upon pushing through this jungle, discovering some interesting information, finding a monkey that seems to hate you-- (laughter)

MATT: -- and eventually come-on-ing to the outskirts.

LAURA: Come-on-ing!

MATT: Come-on-ing to the outskirts of this... Oh my goodness.

LIAM: The Mighty Nein: The Come-on-ing. (laughter)

MATT: That's a 17 plus book we can't put out yet. (laughter)

MATT: You come to a grove surrounding the remaining overgrown remnants of a stone temple, and here, right as you begin to stealth amongst the bushes and Veth goes to check, finding one crack above the very apex of the cone of it that's peering through the undergrowth-- (explosion) The storm giant and its compatriots bursts through, putting us--

TRAVIS: Oh no! (screaming)

MATT: Right there.

LIAM: Oh, he's got the mage--

LAURA: Oh god!

LIAM: -- on his forearm.

ASHLEY: Big boy!

LIAM: He's doing mage curls.

MATT: And with that, roll initiative! (cheering)

LAURA: Oh god! Okay, okay, okay.

TRAVIS: Ready, go!

SAM: This combat is brought to you by WizKids Minis! Build your own collection--

MARISHA: Oh my god!

SAM: -- of fantastic Critical Role minis by WizKids, available at WizKids.io/CRMinis or at your local game store. Rolling.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Okay. Shit. Fuck!

ASHLEY: Oh my goodness!

MARISHA: Oh god! We're fighting these guys. We're fighting 'em?

LIAM: Yeah, man.

MARISHA: We're fine. We're fighting.

ASHLEY: Kingsley!

LAURA: Kingsley!

LIAM: I came to play.

LAURA: The best of us came today.

MATT: The scions that are pouring out.

ASHLEY: Oh!

LAURA: Oh no!

ASHLEY: That's so many!

LIAM: So many-- Okay. Okay, this changes things.

LAURA: Look, I realize that there might be more game after this, but I feel like we shouldn't save spells in this instance.

TRAVIS: Save the spell.

SAM: Save spells?

TRAVIS: You mean save our lives?

MATT: 25 to 20.

LAURA: Ugh!

MARISHA: 24.

TALIESIN: 25.

LAURA: (gasps)

MARISHA: Woo!

SAM: Rollies.

LAURA: Kingsley beat Beau!

MARISHA: How'd you beat me? What's your initiative? What did you do? Did you roll a natural 20? What's your initiative?

ASHLEY: You have a plus five?

MARISHA: Who are you?

MATT: 20 to 15.

TALIESIN: Maybe you should take a second and find out.

TRAVIS: 18.

LAURA: Aw!

MATT: 18?

TALIESIN: Clearly, I'm faster than you.

LAURA: Oh wait, Beau. Beau and then--

TRAVIS: Kingsley, Beau, Fjord.

LAURA: Fjord.

TRAVIS: Fjord!

TALIESIN: Oh, I should probably--

SAM: Fjord tough.

MATT: Okay. Nobody else 20 to 15? 15 to 10.

ASHLEY: 15.

SAM: Oh! I forgot. I add things to initiative! I'm 18.

TRAVIS: Oh!

ASHLEY: Oh wow!

TRAVIS: What's your dexterity?

SAM: It's very high. It's 20.

TRAVIS: Then you go.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: Okay. Yeah, yeah.

ASHLEY: Okay, so it's--

MARISHA: Oh wait! So it's Beau, then Veth, then Fjord.

SAM: Sorry, sorry. I was not adding initiative because Fresh Cut Grass has a plus zero and this one is more.

LAURA: You just forget. This one.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: And then,

TRAVIS and LAURA: Yasha.

ASHLEY: 13.

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: Oh god. Oh god!

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Jester got 11.

MATT: Jester got 11.

TRAVIS: Which means--

LIAM: Caleb got seven, which is so much less stressful than being Orym at the front of the pack every time.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: All righty. Well that being the case, as this giant comes barreling through a massive tree, slamming into the ground as it pushes past, over it, holding, clutching to its chest, we see the mage. The rest of the scions swarming out of nearby brush as it begins pushing towards the temple. Veth, being there at the very top, spinning around to see them barreling towards you. Top of the initiative round is Kingsley with Beau on deck. What are you doing?

ASHLEY: Woo!

MARISHA: Oh god.

TALIESIN: I take a quick look. Suppose we're doing this. I pull out my blade, which, it's kind of fascinating. It both seems to draw blood and doesn't at the same time. It seems to go right back into my hand because I'm going to be using-- I'm going to be remembering my features and traits because this is a lot.

TRAVIS: ♪ Mm, features and traits ♪ (laughter)

TALIESIN: Yeah. What do I roll to start up a--

MARISHA: ♪ Yeah ♪

TALIESIN: I'm so sorry.

SAM: You think?

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: Crimson Rite?

TALIESIN: Yeah. Where's my Crimson Rite? It's a 1d8, if I recall.

MATT: It is a d8 at this level, yeah.

TALIESIN: So I roll my d8.

LIAM: Please, no.

TALIESIN: If I can find my dice, because I'm so together. And I take four points of damage. But I also, since no way I'm going to be able to get to them to attack this round, I'm going to use my action to use my weapon's special stuff. I'm going to use Dark Blessing.

MARISHA: Is this where we were, Matt?

TRAVIS: Yes.

MATT: Yeah, off to the side.

MARISHA: To the side.

TALIESIN: I don't remember where dice are. In this, I'm also using Dark Blessing, which means my sword is going to give me my blood back and I'm going to get, gross, five temporary hit points.

MATT: Great! All right, you got five temporary points on you.

LAURA: We are hiding in the bushes, right?

MATT: Correct. You are currently hiding.

TALIESIN: That's a... Oh, that's-- Sorry.

ASHLEY: Yes.

LIAM: Do we have a read on-- They're like, well, we finally made it, or are they like, (growls) coming in?

MATT: Best that you can tell, they're moving with momentum.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: They have a goal.

LIAM: Okay.

ASHLEY: Do they see us?

MATT: You don't know.

LIAM: We don't know.

ASHLEY: We don't know. We don't know.

SAM: For me or for you?

LAURA: Well, for anybody.

TALIESIN: I'm going to attempt to stealth with that, with my movement. I'm going to attempt to stealth and use my other bonus action to hide closer to the--

MATT: You mean your action and then your bonus action?

TALIESIN: I used my action for that. It's the thing.

MATT: Okay, so you use your bonus action to put on the--

TALIESIN: Put on that. I think I get an extra thing where I can only do... Sorry, I'm trying to remember how all this works.

LIAM: Guess who's back.

TRAVIS: What do you mean, remember? This is the first time you've done this.

TALIESIN: Yes, that's true. I tried to learn. Where is it?

ASHLEY: Jumping right in at 17th.

TALIESIN: There's a thing that you can do. Jumping right in at 17th. It's so fun. Not the Crimson Rites. It's before that, I think. I'm so sorry. I thought there was a bonus-bonus that you can take that's dodge, block, or--

SAM: Boy oh boy, Taliesin. There have been a lot of words.

TALIESIN: No, it's just a hide or--

MATT: What you're talking about is the rogue ability you have.

TALIESIN: Yes.

MATT: Which allows you to disengage or hide or dash as a bonus action. But you used your bonus action to do your Crimson Rite. So you have no bonus action currently, but you have your action and your movement, unless what you used on your sword took your action.

TALIESIN: That was my action.

MATT: So you have your movement, which is 35 feet.

TALIESIN: 35 feet.

MATT: But if you're stealthing, it's half movement. So you move 15 feet if you're trying to be quiet.

TALIESIN: Okay. I'm going to--

TRAVIS: Nobody else is going to be quiet.

TALIESIN: Yeah, so I'm going to start heading straight in towards that first-- Towards the, yeah. That direction right there.

MATT: 25, 30 up in here?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: 35 will move you up there.

TALIESIN: Right up there.

MATT: Okay. There you go. You've just stepped out of the brush. What kind of rite did you put on yourself?

TALIESIN: Sorry, I'm so not used to this.

MATT: That's all right.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

TALIESIN: For these, fuck it. I'm going to do the big one, the Illuminated. I'm so sorry.

MATT: Okay. So Rite of the Dawn.

TALIESIN: Rite of the Dawn.

MATT: So your blade, your rapier is now glowing brightly and it's giving off this radiant energy.

LIAM: This is Taliesin's first time in combat with this character.

LAURA: This is true!

TALIESIN: Thank you.

SAM: I know! He's starting with a level 17 character.

LAURA: This is a lot. That's so much!

MATT: It's all good.

LIAM: Everyone else needs to be on point.

LAURA: You're doing great!

MATT: You're doing great. You're doing great.

LIAM: Cut Taliesin some slack.

MATT: All right. Beauregard, you're up.

LAURA: Are you wearing suspenders?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LAURA: Oh my gosh!

TALIESIN: They're more comfy than a belt.

MATT: With Veth on deck.

SAM: With Veth on deck!

MARISHA: Okay. I'm going to run in.

MATT: Run in where?

MARISHA: 55 speed of movement.

SAM: 55?

MARISHA: I'm going to try and get-- Beau can move really quick.

MATT: This is rough terrain.

SAM: Good god!

MATT: Five, 10, 15, 20.

MARISHA: Unarmored move though. I can--

LIAM: Fucking hell of a munch. You can cross the map.

MARISHA: Vault.

MATT: That's right. All right. 25, 30, 35, 40.

MATT and MARISHA: 45, 50, 55.

MATT: Gets you there.

MARISHA: Do I want to... What do I want to do here? I'm..

LIAM: Negotiate.

MARISHA: Hey, guys. I know we all want the same thing. I'm trying to think if I want to be defensive or get in his face.

MATT: It's your call.

TRAVIS: ♪ Get in his face! ♪ (laughter)

LAURA: Shut up!

TRAVIS: I can't.

SAM: This is the whole night with Travis. (laughter) Three hours later, he's going to be like, ♪ Roll a ♪ death saving throw ♪ (laughter)

MATT: What you got, Beauregard?

MARISHA: I am going to--

LAURA: Give her a break, Matt. This is the first time she's ever played with this character.

MARISHA: Yes, Level 17, Matt. (laughter)

TRAVIS: The shade.

TALIESIN: Wow.

MARISHA: I'm going to throw--

MATT: Your turn's coming up.

LAURA: (high-pitched) I was joking!

SAM and TRAVIS: (high- pitched) I was joking!

MARISHA: I'm going to throw some-- I'm going to-- Fuck.

LIAM: Right here?

ASHLEY: Babe, we have a lot to do right now.

MARISHA: I just am so alone.

ASHLEY: We don't have time.

MARISHA: I'm going to throw--

LIAM: One last hurrah.

MARISHA: I use my dex bonus to throw--

MATT: Correct, yeah.

MARISHA: -- right? Plus my--

MATT: Proficiency modifier, if you're proficient with the weapon.

MARISHA: Proficiency modifier? Okay, I'm going to throw some morning stars. Not morning stars, sorry. Some throwing stars.

MATT: Throwing stars, the bob-bobs.

MARISHA: The bob-bobs at these two little pissants.

MATT: Go for it. So, the one on the left first.

MARISHA: Because I get two of those, right?

MATT: Yeah. (whoosh, whoosh)

MARISHA: Oh, goddamn it. So, one is 19.

MATT: 19 hits.

MARISHA: The other is a natural one.

MATT: Okay, so one of them sticks into the wood of the tree that fell. The one to the left, however--

MARISHA: Those are d4s, right?

MATT: d4s, plus your dex mod.

MARISHA: Six damage.

MATT: Six points of damage. That one continues to run, unfazed by them.

MARISHA: I'm going to shout out to the big guy. I'm going to be like: Hey, storm fuck! Then I'm going to take Patient Defense.

MATT: Okay, you're in full dodge mode.

LIAM: Cool.

MATT: Cool, that finishes your turn, bringing us to Veth, with Fjord on deck. What you got, Veth?

SAM: She threw that thing, whatever she threw, at one of the dudes?

MATT: Yep.

SAM: But that doesn't mean she's in melee with them, so I don't get sneak attack, right?

MATT: No.

SAM: Okay, cool. So I could either hide for sneak attack, or I could try to cast a spell. Let's try to cast a spell. I'm a wizard now, too.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Let's do Hypnotic Pattern.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: I'm going to (German accent) pull out a stick of incense and a crystal vial with phosphorescent material, and crack one and rub it in the palm of my hand, making a sigil, drawing it in the air, and I will cast--

LAURA: (laughs)

LIAM: She's learning.

SAM: -- Hypnotic Pattern at all of those guys.

MATT: All right, it is a 30-foot cube, which means you can get--

SAM: I want to get the most people.

MATT: The most people would be everyone but the one that she shot.

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: Okay, so you can get all of them in that one.

ASHLEY: And the storm giant?

MATT: It's a 30-foot cube, so it goes 30 feet high as well. All right, starting over here with the little guys first, that one-- Well, first off, the DC on this--

SAM: Wisdom, 17.

MATT: Yeah, it's a nine. It's a failure on that guy, so I'm going to mark these here with some red markers, that they are incapacitated by this.

SAM: There's no damage, it puts them, they're incapacitated until one of you fuckers hits them.

LAURA: And it's at advantage--

MATT: That guy--

LAURA: -- because they're incapacitated.

MATT: -- natural 20 on him.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: The front guy. And right behind him--

LAURA: When we hit him, it's at advantage?

SAM: Yes, I think so.

MATT: -- fails, he's incapacitated. The guy at the far right in the front. That's a 14, he fails.

SAM: So, they can't move. They're incapacitated.

MATT: Guy back there, he fails.

MARISHA: We have advantage on them, but if we hit them, they come out of it?

SAM: Yes, correct.

MATT: Correct.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: And they can't move. Their speed is zero while they're incapacitated.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: The mage up top, that is a natural 18.

SAM: Sure.

MATT: Succeeds, and the giant, wisdom save you said?

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: That is a natural 13, two, plus his-- That's 17. That just beats it, so.

SAM: Okay, cool. That's still effective.

MATT: So four of them all of a sudden go from running to-- (snarls) This flash of energy and color shifts in the air before vanishing, and four of them just stand there, blinking, stunned.

SAM: Amazing. Bonus action, I'll try to tuck around and hide up there.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Somewhere.

MATT: You can do that.

SAM: Maybe just, yeah, as close as I can be to sticking out. Yeah, anywhere up there is great. I can move.

MATT: You can be right there, right at the corner.

SAM: Should I roll for hiding?

MATT: If you're going to bonus action hide, yeah, go for it.

SAM: I think I get advantage on this. That's a two. That's a three, terrible. But it's stealth, so I get reliable talent, so it's a 27.

MATT and SAM: (laugh)

MATT: High level rogues! There it is. All right, that's still pretty damn good.

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: All right. Finishing Veth's go, Fjord, you're up, Yasha not too far behind.

TRAVIS: I'll break out of the clearing--

SAM: ♪ Break out of the clearing! ♪

TRAVIS: -- holding out the Star Razor. 40 feet.

MATT: Five, ten, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40.

MARISHA: Didn't I give this to you?

TRAVIS: Yes, and actually, I'll go towards you one square.

MATT: Okay, right there?

TRAVIS: Just trying to get out of the line. With my bonus action, I will send my Hexblade's Curse towards the mage that's up in--

MATT: Okay. The mage up top?

TRAVIS: Yeah. You got it. Yeah. Whoa. He's had a little bit too much ale today. Daddy's been day drinking. I will ascend. (high-pitched) How many Eldritch Blasts, three now? (higher-pitched) Three towards the mage! Two.

MATT: Let me check one thing.

SAM: That's Fjord's real voice!

TRAVIS: Is it with the bonus action, I can use a third?

LIAM: Layers!

ASHLEY: (high-pitched) I'm a real boy!

MATT: No, at 17th level, it becomes four.

SAM: (high-pitched) I've been faking the whole time!

TRAVIS: Four?!

MATT: At 17th level, yeah.

TRAVIS: Rain down hellfire.

LAURA: Four Eldritch Blasts?

SAM: E-E-E-Eldritch blast

TRAVIS: Damn!

LAURA: Eldritch Blast, blast blast blast blast.

MATT: Now, because it's held, it does have half cover inside it, so it gets a bonus to its AC, but nevertheless, the first hit is?

TRAVIS: It's a 24 for the first one.

MATT: That hits.

TRAVIS: 20 for the second one.

MATT: Hits.

TRAVIS: Okay. Natural 20 for the third one.

MATT: That definitely hits.

LAURA: I hope it's for the giant.

TRAVIS: And a 17 for the fourth one.

MATT: No, 17 misses, actually, because it has the AC bonus.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: So three hits on it.

MARISHA: On the giant?

TRAVIS: I'll do the first two.

MATT: On the mage in his hand.

TRAVIS: On the mage, on the mah-jay.

MATT: Obscured partially by its fist as it's clutching it, and so only three of them hit. One of them strikes the back of the giant's knuckle.

TRAVIS: Plus five.

MARISHA: The mage is hexed?

TRAVIS: 15, 23.

LAURA: The mage is hexed.

MARISHA: Okay.

TRAVIS: 23. Do I add anything for Hexblade's Curse?

MATT: I know, it's been a little bit.

TALIESIN: Nothing for us.

TRAVIS: Hexblade's Curse.

LAURA: Oh, it's him.

TALIESIN: A little bonus.

TRAVIS: ♪ Die in your arms tonight ♪ Plus six to each of those, so 12, so it's 35 points of damage on the first two.

SAM: Dude!

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: And then for the last one.

SAM: This is the 20?

TRAVIS: The crit, yeah. That's a three.

MATT: So six plus--

TRAVIS: Just three, six, eight, is 14. 14 plus six, 20. 20 more points of damage.

MATT: 20 more points of damage, dang. You fire them all off, and you watch as the mage is currently protected and clutching the side of its fingers, looks over, tries to duck out of the way before (explosion) off the side of its chin, off its shoulder, one hitting it in the side. It ducks, and the fourth one misses, striking a metal ring on this giant's hand. The eldritch energy scatters, leaving a dark spot, but not enough to damage him. That was a sizeable series of hits on him, and he is ducking into the shadows, but the shadows are now creeping into his body as the curse sets in. All right. Does that finish your turn?

TRAVIS: Cool, yeah.

MATT: All right, it is now the storm giant's turn.

LAURA: Uh-oh.

MATT: The storm giant goes into a 50-foot run.

SAM: Wait.

MARISHA: Does he run past me?

SAM: He's going to me? Why?

MATT: 50, he gets right up top there.

MARISHA: Oh shit, do I have an attack of opportunity as he runs by?

MATT: He did not go right past you. Because he's a little drunk, I'm going to go ahead and put this on his--

MARISHA: Damn it.

MATT: -- front there. You weren't quite close enough to stop him.

TALIESIN: Okay, okay, okay.

MATT: There we go. That's his movement. For his action, he raises both his fists up, puts the mage on his shoulder, slams down into the ground.

TRAVIS: That's awesome.

LIAM: Thought he was going to slam dunk the mage into the hole.

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Get down there!

MATT: There's this tough stone, but he's a tough dude with a 29 strength, so.

ASHLEY: Sheesh!

TALIESIN: Not cool, man.

MATT: We'll see if it's enough damage to get through.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: Jesus christ.

LIAM: It wasn't that good.

MATT: Six, six, six on 3d6 on the second set of rolls.

TRAVIS: Damn!

MARISHA: I'm just imagining him spiking him.

MATT: Both fists come down onto the top of this temple. Veth, as you see the looming giant rise up, not noticing you, but the stone that you're standing behind suddenly splinters in front of you. You have to duck to cover yourself as bits of stone and rock go shooting around you. You're surrounded in dust, in cloud, and as it begins to dissipate, you see the top of the temple is now sundered and there is just a pit below, and this is now gone.

SAM: Ooh.

LAURA: Oh my gosh.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: When he smashed down, did we lose sight in the (explosion) of the mage that's in his hands?

MATT: The mage is still on his shoulder.

TRAVIS: Got it. On his shoulder, okay.

LAURA: He was able to open it up?

MATT: Yeah, he smashed into the top.

SAM: And that was the thing I was hiding behind.

MATT: Correct.

SAM: Cool. (laughter) (screaming)

MATT: The good news is, there's still a cloud of dust, and you rolled a pretty high stealth, so we'll say for right now, you haven't been noticed, it seems.

SAM: Okay, cool.

MATT: That finishes his turn. Yasha, you're up, with Jester on deck.

ASHLEY: Okay, so here's a question, because I forgot.

MATT: Yes?

ASHLEY: Can I do two bonus actions?

MATT: No.

ASHLEY: You can only do one.

MATT: You get an action and a bonus action.

ASHLEY: That's right, okay. I was trying to see.

MATT: It's all good. I know, it's been a while.

ASHLEY: Okay, I would like to rage!

ALL: ♪ It's been a while ♪

TRAVIS: (excited Grog noises)

MATT: Yes.

TALIESIN: Welcome back.

ASHLEY: All right. So I'd like to rage, and--

MARISHA: I'd like to rage.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: I'd like to rage.

ASHLEY: So then, I would like to move as far as I can go, 50 feet.

MATT: 50 feet.

ASHLEY: Maybe. How far--

MATT: Which direction?

ASHLEY: Towards the storm giant. How far will that get me?

LIAM: Bane Joker.

MATT: 35, 40, 45, 50. It'll get you about here.

ASHLEY: Okay, right there. That's fine, okay, and then--

MATT: Some of that is rough terrain you get over.

ASHLEY: That's my turn.

TRAVIS: So cool.

MATT: That's your movement.

ASHLEY: That's my move, yeah.

MATT: That's your move. Your action, if you want to, you can dash and move.

TRAVIS: Look at the bushes.

TALIESIN: Actually, yeah.

ASHLEY: Let's do it.

MATT: Okay, so you're dashing behind the giant?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: ♪ Let's do it! ♪

MATT: With that, you get right below, since you-- which, this would probably be explained as you pull your blade out, because you had to return your Holy Avenger--

ASHLEY: I did.

MATT: -- to Kima at the end of the last adventure. But you were given a blade to replace it that is called--

ASHLEY: The Scaldsaber.

MATT: How does that look as you draw the blade?

ASHLEY: Oh boy.

LAURA: What?

ASHLEY: So this is a cleaver-like blade that is dark red when it is just, you know, chilling, hanging out on its own, and it glows a vibrant orange when it's getting ready for battle, like right now. I guess it's got a little fire damage that is attached to it.

LAURA: Ooh!

MATT: Very cool, awesome.

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

LAURA: It scalds you, now I understand why it's called that.

ASHLEY: Scaldsaber.

MATT: You got it. Okay, blade out, now glowing bright, bright red. That finishes your turn, bringing it to Jester.

LAURA: I really want to do something.

SAM: Yeah, do it.

ASHLEY: Do it.

SAM: Follow your art heart.

LAURA: How big is this map?

MATT: This map? I'd say it's about 120 feet by 120 feet.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: And that's just the part that's visibly green. It expands beyond that.

LAURA: Okay, then--

SAM: Oh boy.

LAURA: -- this direction, towards you.

MATT: Yeah?

LAURA: I'm going to focus all of my energy and slam my hands down into the ground.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: And I'm going to cast Earthquake.

MATT: Oh, whoa! Okay, okay!

LAURA: I'm trying to collapse the temple.

SAM: Veth is there, looking through her camp guidebook. She's getting to the chapter about how to forage for mushrooms. Don't look for mushrooms with white gills on the caps! I'm looking for how to defeat a giant, and it's not in here, and now Earthquake is happening.

MATT: Okay. So, where are you putting the center?

LAURA: No, because I don't want it to-- It's 100 feet radius.

MATT: Correct.

LAURA: So I want to try to shift it toward the opposite side of the building that we're on so that--

TRAVIS: 25 feet over.

LAURA: Yeah, so that it hits that area more.

SAM: Just the whole building, but nothing else.

MATT: Okay, okay.

LIAM: Off in the trees that way.

LAURA: More than it hits us.

MATT: It is a 500-foot range, so yeah, thankfully, this is a clearing, so while it is rough terrain around it, from where you're standing, you'll be able to see quite a distance, and the only people that will be caught in it are the people that are on the temple currently.

LAURA: Okay.

ASHLEY: That's fine.

MATT: All right, so to that point, the ground (rumbling) begins to shake. You watch as the nearby trees begin (rustling) Another one falls over, which I'll do here, because it's fun.

ALL: No! (laughter)

MATT: All of this becomes difficult terrain, by the way, so everything here, it now takes double the movement to get through, because the ground itself is broken up. You see bits of stone and earth begin jutting up out of the ground as the temple begins to crumble in at places. So, are you doing fissures or are you dealing-- Let's see here.

TRAVIS: Fissures.

MATT: Actually, I get to determine this.

LAURA: Yeah, your choice.

SAM: Structures or fissures?

LAURA: I know, I was hoping for structures, but it's fine.

SAM: Structures.

LAURA: It's underground, structure, fissure, I don't know, it might all be--

MATT: 50 bludgeoning damage to any structure in contact with the ground in the area when you cast the spell and at the start of each of your turns.

SAM: Whoa!

MATT: So as it's hitting, you watch as other parts of the temple begin to fall in. This hole now begins to open into a larger space, and you see now elements of the stone are crumbling inward, and the giant's having to step onto its back foot and is looking around like, (grunting) trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. So yeah, that--

LAURA: Each creature on the ground in the area must make a dexterity saving throw.

MATT: Indeed. That includes Kingsley, Yasha, and Veth.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: Then dexterity for the storm giant. Natural two! No, does not save.

ASHLEY: Do I have advantage on this?

LAURA: You have to beat a 19.

MATT: Lost my other dice.

SAM: Matt's gone.

MATT: I'll pick it up later.

SAM: Anarchy.

MATT: Goddamn it!

LAURA: Chaos!

SAM: 26.

MATT: I believe that's a success.

ASHLEY: 15.

MATT: That's a fail.

TALIESIN: Natural 20 for a 33.

SAM, LAURA, and ASHLEY: Whoa!

MATT: Kingsley succeeds.

ASHLEY: Woo!

LAURA: Kingsley's a badass.

TALIESIN: Kingsley's an absolute fucking badass.

LIAM: He's Errol Flynn, it seems like.

MATT: 5d6 bludgeoning damage. Go ahead and roll 5d6, Jester.

TALIESIN: You're not wrong.

ASHLEY: Wait a minute. I rolled a 15. 18,

LAURA: Still fails.

ASHLEY: Still fails.

LAURA: Sorry.

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Is it bludgeoning?

MATT: It's bludgeoning.

ASHLEY: Am I raging? Okay.

MATT: You fail, but you still take half.

ASHLEY: Copy.

TRAVIS: (like Ashley) Copy!

MARISHA: Copy that.

ASHLEY: Copy.

LAURA: No, wait. 10, 11, 12.

SAM: Yikes.

MATT: So, 12 damage to Yasha, halved to six. The other two take six, the giant takes 12.

LAURA: And they're knocked prone.

MATT: The giant is knocked prone.

LAURA: And Yasha's knocked prone.

SAM: If I succeed on a save, I take no damage because of something.

MATT: Yeah, because you're a high level rogue.

SAM: Rogue, yeah.

LAURA: This is what I was going for.

SAM: No, it's great. He's prone, that's great.

LAURA: Because now that--

MATT: Yasha, I need you to make a dexterity saving throw with disadvantage because you're on the ground.

LAURA: Oh no!

ASHLEY: It's okay, it's okay.

MATT: Actually, you're prone.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay.

MATT: Which, prone, if I'm to recall--

LAURA: Just roll down the steps.

SAM: Also, we're playing those rules where if a giant falls on you, you get mind controlled.

LAURA: The giant fell at the same time as Yasha.

MATT: I know, and then the giant fell over to where she is, but he's much further from the ground than she was. So anyway, what'd you roll? I'm sorry.

ASHLEY: Seven.

MATT: Seven, okay. So. You take an additional eight points of bludgeoning damage as it falls onto you, and you are currently restrained as well as prone while the giant's on you.

ASHLEY: What the fuck?

TALIESIN: Is that dropped to four?

MATT: It is dropped to four because you are raging.

ASHLEY: Oh, I put in eight?

TALIESIN: You put in four.

MATT: The mage skitters off onto the top of giant, laying back over the part of the temple. More dust just (poofs). Everything's still shaking.

TALIESIN: Did he fall off?

MATT: No.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MARISHA: He surfed him down?

MATT: Yeah, essentially.

MARISHA: That's cool.

MATT: Okay, Jester, you're going to stay put? Or do you want to move anywhere?

LAURA: Am I hiding? Am I hidden?

MATT: Not anymore, you cast a spell.

MATT: Then I'm going to hide behind that rock that's right in front of me.

MATT: Okay, well, you used your action to cast a spell. Do you have a way to--

LAURA: No, I'm going to step behind the rock, that's what I mean.

MATT: (laughs) I see.

LAURA: I've got a bonus action.

SAM: You want that rock or that big rock?

MATT: Okay, and you are concentrating on that spell.

LAURA: Yeah, I meant the big rock, but it's all--

MATT: The big rock here, you mean?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay, there you go. All right, that finishes your turn, Jester?

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: All right. It is now the mage's go. (rumbling)

MARISHA: Oh.

MATT: Ground is shaking, and the mage goes ahead, looking around, you see his open jaw, seeing all of you skittering out of the space, the place shaking and beginning to crumble, casts a spell on himself. You see him finish casting something and then takes into the air and dives down into the hole of the crumbling temple.

LAURA: No!

SAM: He didn't close the hole with his body?

TRAVIS: Counterspell.

SAM: Damn it.

LIAM: I'm not in range. Oh, you're in range!

SAM: Wait, did you just say Counterspell?

TRAVIS: 60 feet.

MATT: 60 feet?

TRAVIS: Reaction.

MATT: Okay, you are within range.

MARISHA: Come on!

TRAVIS: It's a roll.

MATT: Standard 3rd-level?

TRAVIS: Yeah, 3rd-level.

MATT: Well, no, you're--

TRAVIS: It's 5th-level.

MATT: -- a warlock, so it's 5th-level, yeah, doesn't work. (gasping)

MARISHA: Nice!

MATT: So the spell dissipates. Looks back at you. (growls) Turns back and just jumps.

TRAVIS: What the fuck, man?

MATT: Just leaps down, jumping anyway.

LIAM: Physically, he's not--

MATT: You do hear-- (thumping) (laughter)

TALIESIN: Hey, he Wile E. Coyote-ed.

MATT: Totally Wile E. Coyote-ed. (laughter)

SAM: I'm very injured!

TRAVIS: (thumps)

LIAM: I fell on my fish keys.

MATT: And takes 15 points of bludgeoning damage from the fall. As the temple is now cracked, you watch cracking up and splintering the sides of what you can see of the stone temple. Parts of the ground near are beginning to fall underneath and you see the temple goes further underground as parts of the ground begin to fall in and sink around it. This is just the apex of it. That finishes its turn. Caleb, you're up.

LIAM: Yeah, okay. I slam the Stormrider Boots together and take to the air.

TRAVIS: Fuck yeah!

LIAM: I go into the air and I'm going to zip right along over his body.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Close enough so that the boots scorch his body with lightning, and as I swing by, I'm dragging a lodestone up my arm and I drag a Disintegrate beam across his entire body. (exclaiming)

MATT: Oh shit!

TRAVIS: Some Iron Man shit!

MATT: What's the movement on the boots again?

LIAM: 90 feet.

MATT: 90 feet.

ASHLEY: Sheesh!

SAM: Dude! How often can you use those? That's amazing!

LIAM: I'll land--

MATT: That'll get you--

LIAM: That's 90 there?

MATT: That 90 is about--

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Then what I would do is curve off and land by Veth.

MATT: You got it.

LIAM: So it takes lightning damage from the boots, and has to beat a 19 for dex save.

MATT: For dex save? All right.

MARISHA: Wait, what'd you just do with the boots?

LAURA: Ooh, and he's prone?

MATT: It does not save.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: You can still dex save when you're prone.

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay.

LIAM: Okay. Hold on. Hang on.

MATT: You're rolling out of the way. But he does not because not a lot of room to go here.

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: (laughs) He's on the worst Magic Fingers bed right now, just (rumbling).

LIAM: Who wants to give me d6s? Who wants to give me d6?

SAM: I got nine of them right here.

LIAM: Nine? I'll take them.

SAM: Yeah. All nine?

LIAM: I'll take five.

SAM: Okay, that's five.

ASHLEY: Wow!

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: Well, that was his save on the boots, was he failed.

LIAM: Oh, that was for the boots?

MATT: Yeah, you said he had to make a dex save for the boots?

LIAM: Dex save for the Disintegrate spell. That's what I was talking about. The boots just happens, if I'm not mistaken.

TRAVIS: Are you mistaken?

MATT: I might be wrong.

LIAM: Okay, well, let's look.

MATT: Let's look.

LIAM: Because I make mistakes all the time.

TRAVIS: Ja, me, too!

LIAM: Stormrider Boots. "Whenever you enter within five feet of a hostile creature, they suffer 2d8 lightning damage." That's all it says.

MATT: Got you. So yeah. So no, so that's a failed save on the Disintegrate. You full on carve past. Go ahead and roll damage.

LIAM: Okay, so the total--

MARISHA: Oh god!

LIAM: Oh. Okay.

MARISHA: You did it.

LIAM: Okay, all right. Here we go.

MARISHA: Oh, that's a good one! Oh, that one turned.

LAURA: Oh no! You bonked one!

MARISHA: It was a four.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: One, three, eight, 11, 16, 21.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LIAM: 22.

TALIESIN: Sure.

LIAM: 26, 31.

MARISHA: That's above average. That's above average.

LIAM: 34, 35, 36, plus 40. So 76 points.

ASHLEY: What? Plus 40?

MATT: Damage, yeah. That's Disintegrate.

SAM: That's wizard shit.

ASHLEY: That is gnarly!

LAURA: That's wizard shit.

ASHLEY: Wizard shit, man!

MATT: As your energy beam carves across the giant, you just watch as you zip past, and this little line just draws across its body. You see this little dark line for a second before all the clothing splits where it was and the skin beneath it, a second later, just divides like a roast that's been cooked too long. It begins to split.

LAURA: Ew!

MATT: Suddenly, where it splits open, you just see black where it's just turned all the flesh to dust beneath it.

ASHLEY: Ugh!

MATT: The giant immediately begins slamming on the ground, screaming in pain. That was a hefty hit to it. And an additional--?

LIAM: Plus 15 lightning.

MATT: 15 points of lightning damage. There it is. That's a round!

SAM: Ouch!

LAURA: Woof!

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Caleb! Caleb!

MATT: Does that finish your turn, Caleb?

LIAM: Wilde out. (laughter)

MATT: Perfect.

TRAVIS: (laughing) Wilde out.

MATT: With that, it is now the rest of these scions' turn. One's going to rush up to there, this one here is going to go ahead and rush up two, three, four.

LIAM: Were these yours?

MATT: I believe there is six. The rest of them cannot move. They're going to make saves at the end of the turn to try and break it, I believe.

SAM: "On a failed save." "Charmed for the duration." "The spell ends for an affected creature if they take damage or if someone else uses an action to shake them out of their stupor."

MATT: Beautiful. So yeah. All right, you got it. So they're just stuck there.

SAM: Great.

MATT: The one that's rushing up towards you, Beauregard is going to go ahead and attempt to strike you.

MARISHA: Disadvantage.

LAURA: Oh, Beau!

MATT: With disadvantage. That's right.

LAURA: Beau, Beau!

MATT: First strike is 16.

TRAVIS: ♪ Beau Beau Beau ♪

MARISHA: Miss.

MATT: Which you can use, if you wanted to. The creature misses you with an attack. You have your thing. If you want to take your point, though.

MARISHA: It's true.

MATT: Your call.

MARISHA: But I guess it's about to restart anyway, at the top of the round, right?

MATT: Hmm? I don't know.

MARISHA: Yeah. Might as well. Pop!

MATT: Okay. You will have to spend a point to do it.

TRAVIS: Bang! (laughter)

MARISHA: Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 25.

MATT: 25 definitely hits.

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: So he goes and swings towards you with this large, jagged undersea battleaxe with barnacles along the metal, and you just whack and smack them right back as a retort.

MARISHA: That's the big old 16 points of damage.

MATT: 16 points of damage. He swings to strike you a second time, still with disadvantage.

MARISHA: Sorry. 15 points of damage.

MATT: 15? That's going to be an 11. He misses again.

MARISHA: Can I attack him again?

MATT: If you spend another ki point, you can.

MARISHA: I can spend a ki point. Yeah, why not? Natural 20.

ASHLEY and LIAM: Ooh!

MATT: Roll damage on that retort.

LIAM: Ki party.

TALIESIN: Woof!

MARISHA: Nope, that was a d4. Ugh! Ugh! 12.

MATT: 12. All righty.

MATT: (snarls) The other one just runs up and it's now trying to get past the giant. It's rushing towards the temple. It just takes its full turn as a move. The rest just stand there. That brings us to the top of the round again with Kingsley up top, with Beau on deck.

SAM: I'm Kingsley!

LIAM: All right, Kingsley.

TALIESIN: So I'm going to take a very nice slow walk up to right beneath-- Or actually, I'll go right beside the giant's head.

MATT: All righty.

TALIESIN: I will just--

LAURA: Ooh!

TALIESIN: Stab directly in.

LAURA: Into the ear?

TALIESIN: Right in the soft bit between.

LAURA: Ooh! Yowza!

MATT: Okay. You have advantage on the attacks.

LIAM: Advantage because prone.

LAURA: (rolls tongue)

TRAVIS: Do it.

TALIESIN: Natural 20.

ASHLEY: Oh wow!

LIAM: Oh! Right in the ear!

MATT: Ooh hoo hoo hoo!

TALIESIN: This isn't necromantic at any point.

LAURA: I know.

TALIESIN: This is just a normal--

LAURA: I don't feel bad for him.

TALIESIN: This is not-- Yeah.

LAURA: He sunk our ship! He sunk our battleship!

LIAM: He fucked you up.

MATT: But the rite damage does also double with this because they're dice.

TALIESIN: Hey! So that's fun. Let's see, where's my... I'm so together. All right.

LIAM: Get a good gob of ear wax.

TALIESIN: There are so many weird dice involved in this.

MATT: They don't appear to be.

TALIESIN: Actually, this is also sneak attack damage, which is--

MATT: Indeed. Since you had advantage.

TALIESIN: Yeah, that's--

MATT: 3d6, right? For you?

TALIESIN: I believe it's 3d6. I'm a problem.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: I'm assuming it's 3d6.

ASHLEY: You've got so many advantages here.

TALIESIN: Yeah. I'm assuming it's 3d6.

SAM: If anyone wants any.

MARISHA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Oh my!

LAURA: Is this real?

LIAM: Yeah it's real.

LAURA: Wait, I've got to see who they actually are.

TALIESIN: Wait, I think I lost one. Oh, I didn't! That was actually-- Okay. That was not--

LIAM: Hottie Boys.

TALIESIN: Okay!

LAURA: Skribble-- Skibblez.

TALIESIN: That is-- Oh my god! This is--

MARISHA: Jim & Tims.

TALIESIN: -- such a problem.

LAURA: Hottie Boys.

TALIESIN: 17?

LAURA: Orphanmakers.

MATT: All the dice double.

MARISHA: Give me the Glormerz.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah! That's right. So yeah, eight.

LAURA: Wait, don't take them away!

TALIESIN: Goddamn it. Eight, 16.

SAM: I'm serving.

TALIESIN: 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 from that extra.

LAURA: M&M&M&Ms, Travis.

SAM: Is that what it says?

LAURA: M&M&M&Ms.

MATT: So 50 plus whatever modifiers you have.

MARISHA: What are the Beau Bytes?

TALIESIN: Well, that's 25 just for the base damage.

MATT: Okay. So, sorry. So 25 and--

TALIESIN: That's with the doubling.

MATT: Oh, with the doubling. I misunderstood.

TALIESIN: 25 with the doubling for the base damage, and then 20 for the sneak attack.

MATT: Okay. You doubled the 20, the sneak attack--

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm doubling everything for you.

MATT: So 45. Okay.

TALIESIN: Then six points of the radiant damage.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Woo!

ASHLEY: Wow!

MARISHA: Yeah. Let's try these.

MATT: Yeah, that'll do it. That's 51 points of damage, then. So as the blade slips into the back of its ear, you hear this choking sound as you strike some sort of nerve in it that, for the moment, pinches its attention. So that's one strike.

TALIESIN: Yep. So I'm going to pull out again, and I'm going to-- Well, no. Then I'm just going to go up and see if I can start taking the jaw off. So I'm going to go up again and see if I can cut that from the side.

MATT: Another attack with advantage. Go for it.

LAURA: Oh my gosh!

TALIESIN: These are sadly out of the way now, but that's okay.

MARISHA: So good.

TRAVIS: Taking the jaw off.

TALIESIN: They were worth it. That's 22 to hit.

MATT: That hits. Yeah.

TALIESIN: Yeah, so that's... Actually, I get to reroll that because I have that power. There we go.

ASHLEY: Much better.

TALIESIN: Much better. 14 points of normal damage and two points of radiant damage.

MATT: Okay, got it. So you're cutting into the jaw. It slaps its hand up. The blade gets pinned a bit and you have to withdraw it before it gets pulled out of your grasp. But now it's starting to rouse itself to get back up and join the fray.

LAURA: Oh no.

TALIESIN: I'm going to just start backing up into the corner now.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Yeah, about there.

MATT: Okay. Finishing your go, Beau, you're up, with Veth on deck.

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: Let's go, Beau Bytes!

TALIESIN: Damn.

MARISHA: Hearing this giant fall and hearing my girlfriend go, "What the fuck?" I turn around, I see the mage jump in the hole. I'm going to do Step of the Wind--

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: -- to disengage and dash and I'm heading for that mage.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: And I'm heading for that mage!

MATT: So you disengage, dash. Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50 to get up here.

MARISHA: I have 55 feet of movement.

MATT: So you can jump in, if you want to.

MARISHA: I jump in.

LAURA: Woo!

MATT: You leap down--

MARISHA: Going: Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope!

TRAVIS: How deep?

MATT: So you come up to the top of it and you can see the edges of the the stone opening. The corners are (crumbling stone). It's like the hole is widening as the temple itself is shaking, and bits of its mooring are starting to fall apart. More light is visible down below as other sections of the steps below are starting to crumble and follow in. It's about 30 feet down.

MARISHA: Okay. I'm going to take my Slow Fall, but I'm gliding and vaulting back and forth off of the debris, as I take my knuckles and glide down the walls.

MATT: Dope monk shit, yeah.

MATT: You land on the ground and you can see the heavy bits of stone are falling in. The ground below, you guys have masterfully avoided all of the sun siggles on this-- Sigils!

TRAVIS: Sun siggles?

MARISHA: Oh right, the sun is bad!

LAURA: Yeah, yeah. The sun--

MATT: Sorry, sigils.

MARISHA: Where's those pieces of paper? The sun means bad stuff.

SAM: What pieces of paper?

LAURA: Yeah, these!

MATT: Because you knew they were there, I'm not calling them out because you know to avoid them.

MARISHA: Okay. That's good.

MATT: The giant's feet were too big to trigger them. But for now, we're just saying, instead of calling out because you found that information, you've been avoiding them.

LAURA: "Markings of the sun are a deadly invitation."

MATT: As you hit the ground, the more light that's pouring in, you can see the mage is on the ground. The ground is already cracked and is heavily damaged from the Earthquake spell. As you land on the ground, which you take no damage, right, as you Slow Fall?

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: You land, you both look up, make eye contact. It's about 15 feet from you and it growls.

MARISHA: I just do a big, I slide rush him, and I'm going to do a big swinging kick to his face for the first pop.

LAURA: Yeah!

MATT: You just did that.

MARISHA: It was bonus action Step of the Wind.

MATT: Right, but it's five more feet to jump in and you landed and he's 15 feet from you.

MARISHA: I was 55 feet? Oh, he's 15 feet.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Fuck!

MATT: Yeah, because you jumped in and then moved a bit.

TRAVIS: You should throw them him double birds, though.

LAURA: Do you still have your lightning gauntlets?

MARISHA: I do, but I'm afraid that they have resistance or something to lightning, and then once I turn them on, I can't turn that off because they're storm people. But--

SAM: Smart move! Look at this!

LAURA: She's smart, this girl.

SAM: Marisha Ray!

MARISHA: I whip out my staff, and as I whip it, it extends, it telescopes out and it cracks into place. As it cracks, I swing it around and I send a big sweeping arc and a pulse of energy pulses towards it.

MATT: Oh, right! From Belabor, yeah.

MARISHA: From the Belabor. A force wave.

MATT: Does he have to make a dex save against it?

MARISHA: As it cracks, that crack pops and it sounds like a bottle rocket going off as a sound wave. Yeah, it has to make a strength saving throw.

MATT: Strength saving throw! Natural one.

LAURA: Eyy!

TALIESIN: (laughs)

MARISHA: Okay. So it takes 3d8 of force damage and is pushed 15 feet.

MATT: So it's actually put up against the side of the wall now. It's starting to (crumbling)

MARISHA: Okay, so that is 13 points of damage. Does that add-- It's just that. It doesn't add, right?

MATT: Mm-mm.

MARISHA: Okay. 13 points of damage.

MATT: 13 points damage. You got it. So now you're down in the temple that's crumbling around you as the earthquake is still shaking it. The mage is down there, staring you off, pushed up against the wall. Stones are falling around. You're hearing heavy cracks of stone around you and other bits of debris are still falling and crumbling as the hole begins to open wider at the top. That finishes your turn. That brings us to Veth, with Fjord on deck.

SAM: Si. Question!

MATT: Yep?

SAM: Yasha is currently squished under the giant.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

SAM: Does that put her in melee with it?

MATT: (laughs) Yes, technically. I'll say yes.

SAM: But it's prone. Do I have advantage on this attack? Do I get sneak attack damage if I were to... I'm also hiding, sort of.

MATT: Well, it's prone. You have advantage on the attack.

SAM: Oh, I thought prone was disadvantage.

MATT: No, no. Because of range.

SAM: Yes.

MATT: That's right. So let me look at the specific wording.

LAURA: But he's a giant, so I don't know if it--

MATT: Look. We're getting in the weird math here. Just a sec.

SAM: I have a crossbow expert thing that says it's not a ranged, I don't know.

LAURA: No cover? Yeah.

SAM: Right?

MATT: If another enemy of the target is within five feet of it. You are definitely within five feet of it.

SAM: Okay. Okay.

LAURA: Yes!

MATT: So yes, you can sneak attack, even though you are pinned under it.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: In fact, you have a very-- It doesn't have underwear. You have a perfect view of beneath that loin cloth.

LAURA: (gasps)

TRAVIS: Are you turned on?

SAM: Is it a handsome giant?

TALIESIN: Always.

MARISHA: Is his balls green?

MATT: He's an undersea storm giant that seems to be following the path of Uk'otoa. We'll say he's a little barnacle-y.

SAM: Barnacle-y?

LAURA: Ew! Barnacle-y balls?

SAM: Oh, he's got barnacle-y balls? Okay.

LAURA: Gross!

SAM: I will power up my Brenatto's Voltaic Bolt.

MATT: It's not been storm-scaping for a while, unfortunately.

ASHLEY: Oh wow!

TRAVIS: (laughing) Storm-scaping! Stop it!

LIAM: You mean it's not in the shape of a lightning bolt?

TRAVIS: Take a lap. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Wow!

SAM: I will fire!

MATT: He's only gone for the first trip. He has to pay off the rest of the tattoo.

TRAVIS: Oh boy! Well played.

SAM: Where's my ninth die? What happened to my ninth die?

MATT: Did it get borrowed by Caleb?

SAM: Thank you.

MARISHA: Oh, here! This might be the one.

SAM: It's purple.

MARISHA: That?

SAM: Yeah, that's it.

LIAM: Just looks like your dragon--

SAM: Okay, I'm going to--

MATT: What's your dex, Jester?

LAURA: You tossed it back to me while it was--

SAM: I don't know how-- Sorry. I'm going to--

MATT: So roll an attack.

SAM: -- Voltaic Bolt and shoot.

MATT: The bolt begins to arc up and charge the bolt as you fire it.

SAM: Whoa!

LAURA: Whoa!

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: But you get advantage, don't you?

SAM: I don't--

LAURA: Because the sneak attack!

SAM: No, no. Sneak attack doesn't make advantage.

LIAM: It's from the prone makes advantage, though, doesn't it?

LAURA: I understand.

MATT: Well, the prone is disadvantage from a ranged attack. So you technically-- But you are still hidden, even though-- It didn't see you in the dust cloud, so I'm allowing it a single roll. So whatever that is.

SAM: 16.

MATT: 16 is its armor class.

LAURA: Woo!

SAM: Ooh! So I get--

MATT: He's a big guy.

SAM: -- millions of points of damage.

MATT: (laughs)

SAM: A lot of ones. Not great, but it's okay. 10, 20, 30.

LAURA: Can I have some more Hottie Boys, please?

SAM: 39 plus seven is...

MATT: 46.

SAM: 46.

MATT: 46 points of damage. "(pained groan)" The giant is reeling in pain, and one hand is trying to push it up off the ground, the other is now cupping its crotch. But you see energy arc out of the space from beneath where you shot it in its nethers.

SAM: (laughs)

MATT: So that's your action. Anything else you want to do then?

SAM: (sighs)

SAM: I mean, you guys have these guys under control. I feel like I should go help Beau downstairs.

MARISHA: I'm going to get hit with whatever he retaliates with and I'm not looking forward to that.

LAURA: Also, there's an earthquake happening on the whole temple right now. Just to remind you.

SAM: Okay. I'm going to jump down the hole.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Get in the hole!

MATT: I'd say roll an acrobatics check to see if you have a capability of reducing any of the damage you take here.

SAM: 11 plus 11. 22.

MATT: 22, okay. You take less damage from the fall. You're still impacting, taking seven points of bludgeoning damage as you hit one ankle a little hard. But as you look up and glance, you're now standing between Beau and the mage. Beau's a little bit to one side and the mage is about 10 feet to your right, up against the wall. Glancing around in this space, you can see, which now, in this moment of time here, the interior of this chamber has a bunch of these large pillars that are shaped into serpent heads at the top, like snakes with big fangs unleashed. You also see daggers and blades that are elongated and carved into these pillars and numerous holes in the wall where now--

TRAVIS: Oh! What? Dozens and dozens of snakes are starting to pour out of it as more--

TRAVIS: Venomous snakes is part of the clue!

MATT: -- as more light is now pouring into the temple.

LAURA: Light causes snakes to come out.

MATT: So, you're down there with a bunch of snakes. You still have a little bit of movement, what are you going to do?

SAM: Did you say I took damage when I hit? Sorry.

MATT: Yes, you took seven points of bludgeoning damage.

SAM: Seven points. Okay. Not knowing the layout, I will just put myself just away from Beau.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: In case it does some sort of focused attack or something.

MATT: Just saying, this is the arrangement down there. You landed about here, we'll say. So you're just going to move out of the way?

SAM: Yeah, yeah. So that it can't hit us with one beam.

MATT: You got it. Okay. Finishing your go, Veth. Fjord, you're up.

TRAVIS: With the Star Razor out, I'm going to use my action to cast Fly on myself.

MATT: All righty.

TRAVIS: I'm going to soar 60 feet up towards the top of the pyramid. I'm going to use my bonus action. You said the guy was 30 feet down in the hole?

MATT: Correct.

TRAVIS: Use my bonus action to use Relentless Hex to instantly teleport next to him because he's getting hit with Hexblade's Curse.

MATT: Yes, you can do that.

ASHLEY: Whoa! That is cool!

MATT: You can see as this dark, purplish-blue energy is beginning to form on its hand, you can see it beginning to chant something under its breath and then there's a flash of light green energy and, suddenly, Fjord is standing right there, blade out, right to his left shoulder.

TRAVIS: Told you I would see you again.

LAURA: Woo!

MARISHA: Squad!

SAM: I don't remember you saying that, Fjord! I was up there listening!

TRAVIS: How did you get down here so fast? It doesn't matter! (laughter)

MATT: All right, so you cast Fly with your action, you flew down, you teleported to it.

TRAVIS: I have my movement, but I'm not going to use it. I'll use my movement to move on a flanking side opposite of Veth or Beau.

MATT: Well, that's where you are, because you're up against the wall.

TRAVIS: Oh great.

MARISHA: I cracked him up against the wall.

TRAVIS: Oh great. I can't even see where we are, but that's great.

MATT: Sorry. It's right over there.

TRAVIS: Oh, awesome. Gotcha, gotcha. That's great. That's my turn.

MATT: All right, that finishes your turn. It is now the giant's turn. The giant is going to get up--

LIAM: Oh boy.

MATT: -- from the ground, and as it steps--

TRAVIS: Don't you say it.

SAM: Oh no.

MATT: Roll d20 for me, Jester.

MARISHA: Don't trip on my girlfriend.

LAURA: Natural 20.

MATT: Natural 20. The ground holds. If you'd rolled below a 10, it would've crumbled beneath his feet.

TRAVIS: And it would've come down on all of us?

MATT: Yes.

TRAVIS and LIAM: (laugh)

TRAVIS: Good 20.

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

TRAVIS: Good 20.

LIAM: As it is, pebbles are going (popping).

LAURA: Get out of the way.

MATT: The giant, looking around at all the rest of you around, down into the hole--

LIAM: Shit.

MATT: -- (huge impact) slams its fists onto the temple. The entire upper area gives way with that. The giant, Caleb.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Yasha, everyone who's adjacent-- Yasha, make a dexterity saving throw for me.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: Kingsley, make a dexterity saving throw for me.

TALIESIN: All right.

SAM: Oh no.

ASHLEY: Cocked again.

SAM: Multi cocked.

ASHLEY: Oh fuck.

LAURA: Does he go down, does he go down?

ASHLEY: That was a one.

LIAM: ♪ And we will all ♪

LIAM and MARISHA: ♪ go down. ♪

MATT: You have a-- no dexterity throw. If you see danger coming, you do have advantage on it.

ASHLEY: Oh, that's right, that's right.

MATT: So one more time.

ASHLEY: I had two, two things that were cocked. That's why I rolled it three times. Oh, that's much better. That would be 22, total.

MATT: 22. So you managed to roll away as it crumbles and falls inward.

ASHLEY: No, no, no!

MATT: Caleb, you're on top, unfortunately, so you do tumble in.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: Taking--

LIAM: Is it fall damage or am I just getting pummeled by debris?

MATT: Fall damage.

LIAM: Well, I'll Feather Fall.

MATT: Okay. As you drift down and land gingerly or you would be landing gingerly, except the weight of the giant and all the debris coming in, the floor in the middle where all of you are standing, facing the mage? (crashing sounds) That gives out and all, everyone in the temple, you all plummet to a lower level as the mid floor gives way from the impact of all the stone and the giant. (impacts)

LIAM: Oh!

MARISHA: It's like a Mortal Kombat stage.

TRAVIS: Oh no, oh no.

LAURA and SAM: Yeah!

MATT: You're going to move these over here.

TALIESIN: I rolled a 21, by the way, so yeah.

MATT: You hold fine. These guys are not even in this fight anymore. We're going to move them aside, not give a shit. Veth-- (laughter)

MATT: This guy dies in the fall.

TALIESIN: They noticed-- (laughter)

LAURA: Jester's all alone, still standing up there.

TALIESIN: Not for no helping.

ASHLEY: Excuse me.

LAURA: Excuse me. I'm still next to the rock. Excuse me, Traveler.

LIAM: Jester's on the map, DM.

LAURA: Don't leave me.

TRAVIS: Bye Jester.

SAM: It's too late.

TRAVIS: Thanks for the natural 20.

SAM: Hey, does anyone want any Orphanmakers or Beau Bytes?

LAURA: Or Hottie Boys, they're so yummy.

MARISHA: Does anyone want any Glormerz?

SAM: I've got some Skibblez.

ASHLEY: Ooh... what!

TRAVIS: Oh... shit

TALIESIN: Oh no.

SAM: What are those?

TRAVIS: (laughs) Oh, fucking dark.

LIAM: Oh my goodness.

MATT: He's going to try and make a save here. No, failure, he's prone.

MARISHA: Oh wow. Okay.

TRAVIS: I get rolling, right?

MATT: You have Fly.

TRAVIS: I do.

MATT: So you, actually-- the ground gives out from under you and you're still floating above. Veth and Beauregard and Caleb, I need you to make another dexterity saving throw.

LIAM: Feather Fall's a minute, does that mitigate anything?

MATT: That's right, yeah. So you gently drift back down. You land on the-- you don't even go to land on the floor. You're drifting towards it and as you see the ground approaching--

LIAM: Just goes.

MATT: -- it goes again. You're like, "Aw, shit."

TALIESIN: Like a Disneyland dark ride.

MATT: Yeah. But yeah, so Beauregard and Veth.

MARISHA: 16.

MATT: 16, okay, so-- Well, you have monk slow your fall, you're fine.

MARISHA: Oh, correct.

LAURA: Yeah, you don't.

MARISHA: Oh, I thought I was dodging debris. Yeah, so. It's five times my monk level, which is the damage that I negate for falling.

MATT: Yeah, you're fine.

LIAM: Jeez.

SAM: I will also do Feather Fall.

LIAM: You could shoot out the window of a castle tower.

MARISHA: Whee!

LAURA: Why not?

MATT: Down on this side of the temple there. There we go. Fjord, you're floating up. I'll say 30 feet into the air, here.

SAM: We're both Feather Falling next to each other, I assume.

LAURA: So good.

MARISHA: Huh?

SAM: We're both Feather Falling next to each other, I assume.

MARISHA: Do you guys grasp hands? Yeah, there you go.

MATT: Concentration check.

SAM and LIAM: Ah!

MATT: Made both his checks, okay, so, that's the giant's turn as he falls prone once more, destroying the temple. He takes--

MARISHA: You're still up top and I'm still up top?

TALIESIN: I don't know.

LAURA: And we're the only two--

MATT: Yes, you are.

LAURA: -- that are still up top?

TALIESIN: Apparently, we are.

MATT: Yep, with a way over there, and this is essentially where your placement is in the above area. So, that's going to finish the giant's turn. He takes bit more damage from there. He's looking real rough.

SAM: Oh no.

MATT: He's (groans) on the ground, landed on top of this platform. More rocks are falling around. The symbol, actually-- Hold on, I'll be right back.

TRAVIS and SAM: Whoa.

ALL: What?

LIAM: What's happening?

TRAVIS: What?

TALIESIN: Somebody got to improvise. All is decided.

TRAVIS: What?

SAM: Expand your arsenal of Critical Role minis by WizKids.

TRAVIS: Don't you choke on an Orphanmaker!

SAM: Available at wizkids.io/crminis. Don't forget.

MATT: Sorry, this is--

SAM: Read that.

MATT: This earthquake mixed things up a little bit. So, we're going to--

LAURA: Sorry.

MATT: No, no it's great.

LIAM: It's awesome.

SAM: Is the earthquake still active, by the way?

TRAVIS: He's got extra pieces.

LAURA: Yes, it is.

TRAVIS: This man is in his element.

TALIESIN: Oh man.

ASHLEY: Yes.

SAM: This is what he was made for.

TRAVIS: Does it trigger any sun dials that kill us more? (laughs)

ASHLEY: No!

SAM: Oh no.

TRAVIS: Yeah, scatter them! Yeah, sprinkle it on top!

TALIESIN: Yeah!

LIAM: Salt Bae it! (cheering) (laughter)

SAM: Those are snakes, right?

MATT: Yes, they're all snakes, but there are now snakes-- (yelling)

MATT: -- falling in the room.

MARISHA: He throws live snakes.

TRAVIS: What the fuck?

MATT: Bees for everyone!

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs)

TRAVIS: You're in here, too.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay, that finished the giant's turn.

LAURA: They can be, if you want them to be.

MATT: Yasha, it's your turn.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: You just rolled out of the way, glance over the side, and you can see now the layers of the temple down. Dust billowing up out of it. Your friends vanish from sight.

ASHLEY: Ah, okay. So I'm going to bamf out my wings.

MATT: Okay. (wings whooshing) Action, your wings emerge.

ASHLEY: I'm going to go down. (wings whooshing) Now, what I would like to do.

MATT: Yes.

ASHLEY: I would like to land on top of the giant.

MATT: You got it.

ASHLEY: Little floating above. I am going to take my first attack.

SAM: Ooh.

MATT: Well, it's an action to bamf your wings out, if you recall.

ASHLEY: Yes, it is. It's not a bonus action. I'm very sorry. Okay, so then what I'll do--

MATT: That's okay.

ASHLEY: Okay, so I'm floating just above--

MATT: Correct.

ASHLEY: -- the giant, then. Then what I will do, as a bonus action, is I will let out a battle cry.

SAM: Yes!

MATT: There you go.

ASHLEY: And that everybody within 60 feet gains advantage on attack rolls and saving throws.

MARISHA: Yes! (oohing)

MARISHA: That's right!

MATT: That's great.

TALIESIN: That'd be nice if we were--

LAURA: I know, if we were down there.

TALIESIN: That'd be great, that would--

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

TALIESIN: That sounds nice.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Whatever I just heard sounded really ferocious.

ASHLEY: Yeah, it was loud and tough.

TALIESIN: Sounded fucking nice.

ASHLEY: Yeah. That's my turn.

MATT: That's great, Yasha. Jester.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

MATT: At the beginning of your turn.

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: Is it the beginning that the earthquake--?

LAURA: Let me check.

LIAM: It's coming.

LAURA: It is.

MATT: "At the end of each turn you spend concentrating on it." So yes.

LAURA: Yes. Okay.

MATT: Okay. So you take your turn first. You see the temple tumble and dust. You see Yasha, wings out, fly in. You see Kingsley standing at the edge, eyeing it. You're now still off in the distance of the jungle.

LAURA: How far am I away?

MATT: You are-- You're about 80 or so feet from the temple.

LAURA: Oh gosh. Oh gosh, I can't even make it up to see and I would say... Hmm. I can't do this without seeing it. I don't think. I would like to...

TALIESIN: Yeah...

MATT: You would like to?

TALIESIN: Hmm.

LAURA: I feel like it might, we might smash into something or be--

TALIESIN: It might get weird, yeah.

LAURA: Yeah, it might get weird.

TALIESIN: It might get weird.

MATT: Are you referring to Dimension Door?

SAM: You can.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Dimension Door, you don't have to see where you're going.

LAURA: Yeah, but I don't know that the floor has fallen through--

MATT: No, you don't.

LAURA: -- a couple times.

MATT: Up to you!

LAURA: So if I did it, I would be bamfing us to where I thought the floor would be and then we'd be boom boom.

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: But, I haven't seen in. I have no idea how deep that floor goes.

TALIESIN: I'm also looking in, so there could be communication, if you would like. I would probably be looking in, going: Oh, and they're down again.

MATT: If you want to rush forward and then hold your action until it gets to Kingsley's go, and then both go down there, you could do that.

TALIESIN: Oh!

MATT: Up to you.

LAURA: Yeah, I'll rush forward and get next to Kingsley.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Then save my spell for Kingsley.

MATT: Okay. I will say that the distance you were, rough terrain, 30 feet movement?

LAURA: I think so, yeah.

TALIESIN: Is it rough terrain up the top or is it--

LAURA: 30 feet. Because of the earthquake.

MATT: Well, it's rough terrain because of the earthquake and because of the area around.

LAURA: So I wouldn't even be able to dash to get to it.

MATT: Not if you're going to hold your action on the spell.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: But however, you can get close and on his turn you can close the distance to her, if you want to.

LAURA: Okay, so you can tell me what it looks like and then I can--

MATT: Then you meet up and then it goes off.

LAURA: Okay, I'll get close.

MATT: Okay. So you rush up, push through the terrain. You see the ground still moving. You push over and get close as you can to Kingsley, I'd say about 10 feet, and he's a little bit further up on the platform keeping his footing.

LAURA: Okay. Then yeah, that's, I guess--

MATT: Do you express to Kingsley what you're trying to do?

LAURA: Yeah. Come to me and I will get us down there.

TALIESIN: I know what you're doing, yes. (laughter)

MATT: Perfect.

SAM: Role playing.

MATT: All right, that finishes Jester's go.

LAURA: So is it another-- Everybody has to be knocked prone?

MATT: Now, it says here... Earthquake...

LAURA: Or has everybody fallen more than a hundred feet?

MATT: "Each creature on the ground in the area has to make a dexterity saving throw."

LAURA: Okay. Most people are already prone, so--

MATT: Yep, it's perfect. So, the giant fails. The mage. That's cocked, actually. Natural 19. It succeeds.

TRAVIS: Da mage.

MATT: Veth, Caleb, Beau, I need you all to make dexterity saving throws.

LIAM: Nope. No.

MATT: Caleb, you are knocked prone.

LIAM: 10.

MARISHA: 21.

MATT: Beauregard stays up. Veth?

SAM: 31.

MATT: Yeah. You guys are riding it fine. Okay. That finishes your turn, Jester. Earthquake. Now at this point, more sections are falling within the temple. This place only maybe has a few more minutes before it all caves in. The mage is going to take his turn. He has maintained his concentration on his Fly spell. He's going to--

TRAVIS: Actually, the Fly spell was Counterspelled.

MATT: That's right! No, that's why he jumped in. You're right, you're right. No, you are totally right.

LAURA: Yes!

MATT: So still hexed. He is going to--

ASHLEY: Relentless Hexed, right?

TRAVIS: Relentless Hexed.

SAM: What does that mean?

TRAVIS: That was the bamf thing.

TALIESIN: Oh, I got an extra d8. On that giant that I didn't take.

TRAVIS: I can teleport to them.

SAM: Is it in your--

SAM and TRAVIS: ♪ Features and Traits ♪

MATT: He's going to Dimension Door.

SAM: Ooh!

TRAVIS: Ooh!

SAM: He's doing a spell, Caleb.

LAURA: He's Dimension Dooring.

LIAM: Oh, I've already used my reaction, though.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: To Feather Fall.

MATT: Yep.

TRAVIS: I have mine.

ASHLEY: Don't! Do it.

SAM: You're Counterspelling again?

TRAVIS: Yeah, it's all I got.

ASHLEY: Wow.

SAM: You're not going to save it for Uk'otoa?!

TRAVIS: I mean--

LAURA: We can sleep. If we can stop him, we don't have to--

TRAVIS: Who says we can sleep?

SAM: Sleep?!

TRAVIS: He's right here. And he might not even have the orb. Maybe it's in the giant's ass.

TALIESIN: Only one way to find out.

SAM: I did, I saw--

LAURA: Are you not using--

SAM: -- into that area and I didn't see it.

TRAVIS: I've got it.

LAURA: Okay, you're counterspelling?

MATT: 5th-level.

TRAVIS: 5th-level.

SAM: You have two 5th-level counterspells?

TRAVIS: I have three 5th-level spells.

SAM: You're overpowered.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

SAM: Sir.

TRAVIS: Now I got nothing.

TRAVIS: That's as far as he can get. He goes to try and cast the spell. The tethers of his eldritch energy get completely unraveled and it scatters into nothing. Glances back up at you floating above. (growling)

TRAVIS: I know. (laughter)

MATT: Then starts hoofing it.

TRAVIS: Yeah, which way is he--

MARISHA: He's hoofing it? Where's he going?

TRAVIS: This way.

MATT: Around this way.

MARISHA: Where is he right now?

MATT: Right here.

MARISHA: I can't see him.

LAURA: Is there a hole in the ground?

TALIESIN: He's just embarrassing.

TRAVIS: He knows something we don't know!

MARISHA: I know.

SAM: Eh, I'm sure he's fine.

TRAVIS: This area of the flooring of the map seems different. It's made of pudding! (laughter)

MATT: All righty. That's going to finish his turn since you wasted his spell.

LIAM: Where is he? Where is he?

MATT: Right there.

LIAM: There, okay.

SAM: He's the blue boy.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: All right.

ASHLEY: Oh yeah, there is a big pit right there.

MATT: That brings us to Caleb, you're up. Two of these dudes now coming up.

LAURA: Oh, so the mage goes after me?

LIAM: You got to kick it off, though.

MATT: Yes.

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Magé.

ASHLEY: Magé.

MARISHA: What do you mean? It's your turn.

LIAM: I know it's my turn, but there's--

MARISHA: Just tell me to set it up.

SAM: Combo moves?

MARISHA: You know what's--

LIAM: Well.

SAM: Combo moves.

LIAM: It's six months later.

MARISHA: We've been working together.

LIAM: Beauregard!

TRAVIS: The perch has emerged.

LIAM: Fire! I get to my feet and I back up 15 feet since I only have half my movement left.

MATT: Got it, so back up here?

LIAM: Away, under Fjord, underneath Fjord's--

MATT: You got it.

LIAM: -- hover zone. Okay, and I pull out the cat's cradle and get it on my fingers. Do it! I'm holding my action for Beau to punch that fucker.

LAURA: Which fucker?

LIAM: The giant.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I might be able to get them both. I might be able to get them both.

SAM: That's the name of your combo move? Fire? We had such cooler names. (laughter)

LIAM: Efficiency! (laughter)

MATT: All right, the two other guys leap down.

SAM: "Flame is the Game" or something.

MATT: (groaning) They take a lot of damage from jumping. They just jumped into-- not knowing the floor was out and were like, (choking)

LAURA: Two times?

LIAM: On second thought, let's not go together.

MATT: Okay. (laughs) The one that had been previously hit by Beau by a number of stars, falls and goes (splatting) and is not moving on the ground. The other lands with a snapping sound in its leg, but it gets back and is (snarling) and is going to shift over this way. That's the rest of movement it can do. All right.

TRAVIS: It's terrible.

MATT: So that finishes their go. Top of the round. Kingsley, you're up with Beau on deck.

SAM: (Irish accent) Top of the round.

TALIESIN: I'm going to take a couple steps back from the cliff. Probably fallen down an extra floor. Well done, you should probably make this--

LAURA: Let's go.

TALIESIN: Right, and I'm holding--

MATT: (crashing)

TALIESIN: Holding my action to go through the door once--

MATT: Okay, so you are sitting down here somewhere. Starting in the middle of where the chamber is, roll a d8 for me. That's the number of spaces you're going to move in this direction. So, ready? One, two, three.

LAURA: Two.

MATT: Two spaces. One, two, you land on the giant's head.

MARISHA: Nice.

LAURA: (cackles)

TRAVIS: Amazing.

SAM: I hate the--

TRAVIS: Of all fucking places.

SAM: Teabag.

LIAM: Quick question, DM.

MATT: Yes?

LIAM: I had meant to go on this side of the flying Fjord column. Is that possible with my 15 feet?

MATT: Yeah, that's okay.

TALIESIN: Is it possible for the rest of my movement to-- have I burned my action yet or no?

MATT: No, you just moved back.

TALIESIN: Oh, okay. Is it possible for the rest of my movement to-- I can actually attack? That's fun. I see that hexed motherfucker. I'm going to turn around and see if I can use the rest of my movement to get to the--

MATT: You got it. You can definitely get within combat range of him, yes.

TALIESIN: Taking a-- I don't have advantage, do I? But I-- that's fine.

MARISHA: You have an advantage on attacks and saving-- Oh, were you down here?

TALIESIN: I wasn't down here.

MARISHA: Oh no, oh no.

TALIESIN: That's okay. So I'm going to make an attack.

MATT: Okay, go for it.

TALIESIN: Bleh. That's a 13.

MATT: 13 misses.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: He sees you coming. (whooshing). Ducks out of the way, its body moving in an unnatural, unhuman way.

TALIESIN: Another shot. Come on. 22.

MATT: 22. Shield. (whooshing)

LAURA: Ugh.

MATT: Brings its AC to 23.

TRAVIS: Nice.

MARISHA: Who just did, who did that? Who did?

LAURA and MATT: The mage.

MARISHA: 23?

MATT: So the second one, the first one it dodges, the second one, it has to strike him. Right as it's about hit the clavicle, an arcane field immediately apparates in front of it and the blade, (whooshing) gets shunted off to the side.

TALIESIN: Do I have any more movement?

MATT: Movement? That would be-- Five, 10--

TALIESIN: 35.

MATT: 30-- Five more feet.

TALIESIN: I'm going to... actually, I'm going to stay.

MATT: Okay, you got it. All right, that finishes your turn. Beauregard, you're up.

MARISHA: Okay. I am going to do a little vault over the giant's arm and I'm going to quickly come around and I'm going to strike right up under his ribs, using pointed attack for my knuckles.

MATT: So the giant, as you're going over it. Go for it. With advantage.

MARISHA: First pop with advantage.

LIAM: Oh yeah.

MARISHA: Yep, that's good. I'm using unarmored for this one, so it's going to be 28.

MATT: 28 hits.

SAM: Woo.

LAURA: Good hit, Beau! I say from above.

MARISHA: Thanks, Jester! 13 damage.

MATT: 13 damage. Crack! You vault over and land on the other side of its arm.

MARISHA: I'm going to pump three ki points into him.

SAM and ASHLEY: Pump it.

MATT: Into him. Okay.

TRAVIS: Pump, pump, pump it up. Keep that ki point spirit up.

MARISHA: Debilitating Barrage.

MATT: Okay. So as you hit the side, you feel your ki extend beyond you into this storm giant, and at that point, you see where elements of its nervous system are somewhat malleable. Within a quick second, you yank the ki back into yourself and strike in that spot. As you do, you cause a vulnerability to--

MARISHA: I say: Light 'em up, wizard. And it's to fire.

MATT: To fire. You've now made him vulnerable to fire for the next time he gets struck. Okay. (oohing)

MARISHA: I'm going to do-- I'm going to parkour off of his ribcage and do a back flip, and get up to the mage for my second attack.

MARISHA: All right.

TRAVIS: Get up, get up to get down.

LAURA: Nice.

MARISHA: Get up, get up to get down!

SAM: Oh yeah.

MARISHA: Okay. Okay, that's another 28 to hit.

MATT: 28 hits.

MARISHA: So I see that he just threw his shield up and I'm going to slide up under it. I'm going to get up under it and crack him with an uppercut.

ASHLEY: Yes!

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: For another--

MATT: Caleb, you're holding your action?

LIAM: I'm about to let go.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: For another 13 points, seven plus five is--

TRAVIS: 13.7?

MARISHA: Is 12. Seven is 12 damage.

MATT: Okay. You slide under, and whack! Hit the mage who's bracing up against one of the stone pieces that fell. He goes (groans).

MARISHA: Once again, I'm going to hit him and feel the heat that it just inflicted on his jaw, and do another three ki points for another Debilitating Barrage.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I'm going to pull that heat of his wound to the surface.

MATT: Okay. (pained groans)

MARISHA: Say: Got the bastard, too. Then I'm going to do, for a bonus action, Flurry of Beaus for another--

TRAVIS: Damn!

ASHLEY: Let's go, babe!

MARISHA: Pop, pop!

TRAVIS: Let 'em know.

MARISHA: He's right up against, so it's like a boxer up against the ropes and I just--

TRAVIS: Let's go, babe.

MARISHA: Kaboom, kaboom, pound him.

ASHLEY: Oh, yeah. Let's go, babe.

SAM: Bison!

ASHLEY: Destroy him, babe.

TRAVIS: Oh, I thought it said--

MARISHA: It was so close. I got a natural 19 and a natural 15, so I'm pretty sure both of those hit. For--

SAM: ♪ [JENGA] ♪

MARISHA: Nine points on the first one--

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Seven points of damage on the second one.

MATT: You got it. Okay.

MARISHA: Pop, pop!

MATT: (snarling groans)

MARISHA: Fuck it! Stunning Strike.

MATT: Stunning Strike, okay.

LAURA: Yeah!

MARISHA: Oh, I just--

LAURA: Ooh.

MARISHA: -- cranked through.

MATT: That is going to be a 19.

SAM: Ooh.

MATT: What's the DC on it?

MARISHA: Oh, fucker. 17.

MATT: 17.

MARISHA: No, 18 is the save.

MATT: 18, okay. Yeah, so it resists the Stunning Strike.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: But he is vulnerable to fire.

MARISHA: They're both vulnerable to fire.

MATT: As you finish the (whirring) pull back. Caleb?

LIAM: Cat's Cradle, slams into the stone and I cast Widogast's Web of Fire and strings of fire go (hissing). Two of them, if they'll reach, snake just on each side of Kingsley and head over, if they can reach, it's 60 feet, to both of the fishy guys. I don't know if it's going to reach, though.

SAM: One of the fishy guy died, didn't he?

MATT: 60 feet.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: I don't know.

TRAVIS: His leg snapped.

MATT: Yeah. Yeah, he's within range.

LIAM: So they each get hit if they're there.

MATT: You do.

LIAM: Plus one hits the giant and one hits the mage.

MARISHA: Ooh!

MATT: You got it.

LIAM: Dex save for all of them.

MATT: Okay. The one that splattered doesn't get a dex save because it's dead, but its body is now very incinerated. This body on the ground goes (flames burns).

TRAVIS: It kind of death screams?

MATT: Yeah, it just smolders. The little bit of it's (growling). (laughter)

MATT: The other one, that is going to be a 11, fails its dex save. So damage for the guy on the far end.

LIAM: Oh, and I'm sorry, this is at 5th-level.

MATT: 5th-level, you got it.

LIAM: So that is, I need one more of these guys. I need another six.

MARISHA: Light 'em up!

LIAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: ♪ Light 'em up, up, up ♪

TRAVIS and MARISHA: ♪ Light 'em up, up, up ♪ TRAVIS, MARISHA, LAURA, and ASHLEY: ♪ I'm on fire! ♪

LIAM: It wasn't that high. The rolls were kind of low, but it's a 17 total for the damage.

MATT: 17 total damage. Okay, so the guy over there takes 17. "(groans)" He's looking hurt. Not like deeply hurt, but he's definitely on fire and unhappy about it. That's 17 damage to the giant and him, which is both double because of their vulnerability, so 32 points of damage.

MARISHA: Correct.

TRAVIS: Woo.

LAURA: Good fire, Caleb!

SAM: 32 or 34?

MATT: That giant is looking real rough.

LIAM: 34 points.

MATT: Sorry, 34 points. That giant is looking real rough.

LAURA: If you'd have done just a little more damage to him, I think he would be dead.

MATT: They're all looking--

LIAM: I'll work on it!

MATT: They're all looking tough. They're having a bad day. All right, that finishes Beau's turn with your reaction. That brings us to Veth, with Fjord on deck.

SAM: Me? I get to do more stuff?

MATT: Yes, you do.

SAM: Oh my god, this is more action than I've had since, I don't know, insert joke here. (laughter)

TRAVIS: "Insert joke here."

SAM: I guess we got to kill the giant.

LAURA: Yeah, kill him.

SAM: All right, I'll lock and load. I will load another bolt into my Aeorian Security Cannon. I will load another bolt into my Aeorian Security Cannon.

MATT: Sure.

SAM: My futuristic weapon from Metroid.

SAM and LAURA: (laugh)

SAM: And I will fire. He's in melee, so I'll just fire.

MATT: To the giant? Go for it.

SAM: Yeah. Oh wait, I get advantage on the attack--

MATT: Because he's prone.

SAM: -- because Yasha yelped.

LIAM: Jester, Yasha, Kingsley.

MATT: A lot of reasons.

TALIESIN: Oh, I should've had--

SAM: 14, okay. Both are-- It's like 25 to hit.

MATT: That definitely hits. Go ahead and roll your sneak attack damage.

SAM: Okay. Oof.

LAURA: Whoa.

LIAM: So many sixes.

SAM: Okay, yep. Okay, so... 12...

LAURA: There's literally one six.

SAM and LAURA: (laugh)

LIAM: I meant so many d6s.

LAURA: Oh. (laughs)

SAM: 26, 32, 33 plus seven. 40 points of damage.

MATT: How do you want to do this? (cheering)

SAM: I would like to do an elaborate and unnecessary bank shot. (laughter)

MATT: (pinging)

SAM: Yes, and hopefully striking a few snakes on the way.

MATT: (hissing)

SAM: Then soaring right between Jester's legs somehow and landing right between the eyes of the beast.

MATT: As the giant's getting up-- It's laying on its back still and it's like (groans). It puts both of its arms into the ground, and you see it's starting to lean forward as it arches. Its head is upside down, almost like a Spider-Man kiss towards you, but it's a massive giant. At that moment, it notices you with your weapon up and it goes "(growls)" and growls as out of nowhere the bolt goes (squelching). Its face goes a little limp and the life leaves its eyes.

ASHLEY: Oh.

SAM: Oh, I feel bad for him.

LAURA: Good shooting, Veth.

ASHLEY: Yeah, good job.

LAURA: I didn't even see you there.

SAM: Oh, good earthquake. Is that still going to go off again?

LAURA: I don't know.

SAM: Wait, didn't it already? Oh god.

MATT: (rumbling)

SAM: Bonus action, I move. I guess I'll move around towards where the fleeing mage is going.

MATT: Okay. About there.

SAM: I think bonus action, I can shoot again.

LAURA: Yeah!

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: I'll fire at the mage.

LIAM: In the buttocks!

MATT: Go for it.

LAURA: Right up the ♪ butt ♪

SAM: Up the butt. 18 plus stuff, probably hits.

TRAVIS: 18 plus butt stuff?

SAM: Plus 13. 30... 31.

MATT: That definitely hits. You can roll damage.

SAM: But this is just a regular shot.

MATT: Just a regular strike.

SAM: 12 points of damage.

MATT: 12 points of damage. (growls) All right. That finishes your go.

SAM: That's it, that's it.

MATT: All right, with Veth done, it is now Fjord's go.

TRAVIS: Woo.

MARISHA: Lordy, lordy, looks who's Fjordy.

TRAVIS: I'll make sure I got eyes on the mage and I'll send four Eldritch Blasts.

LIAM: Let's go, La Fjorge.

TRAVIS: Eldritch Blasts!

MATT: Go for it.

MARISHA: Geordi La Fjorge.

TRAVIS: 20, that's a 30 to hit.

MATT: 30 hits.

TALIESIN: Wow.

MARISHA: Oh!

MATT: That's a d12.

TRAVIS: That's not a d20!

LAURA: The mage is after me?

TRAVIS: Huh?

LAURA: Or after Yasha?

MATT: The mage is after you.

TRAVIS: Oh, I do have advantage?

MARISHA: Yes.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TRAVIS: Okay. Oh, that was a two, so I'll call that the first one.

MARISHA: Come on.

TRAVIS: 16, that's 27.

MATT: That hits.

TRAVIS: Natural 20.

MATT: That hits. (cheering)

TRAVIS: That reminds me, okay. Then... (mumbles) 28!

MATT: 28, yeah.

TRAVIS: So they all hit, plus one crit. Three hits, one crit.

MATT: You got it. Okay.

TRAVIS: d10. Three, eight, is... 14 points on the first one.

MATT: All righty.

TRAVIS: Second one. 14. Is 20 on the second.

MATT: All righty.

TRAVIS: I'll do the third regular one.

SAM: Jesus Christ.

LAURA: (laughs)

SAM: I thought he killed this guy--

TRAVIS: 14 again on the third one. Then from the previous crit way back, I forgot to roll one extra damage dice. That's 10.

MATT: All righty.

TRAVIS: Then for this one. Six.

TRAVIS: 17 points of damage.

MATT: 17 damage.

TRAVIS: Plus the extra die is nine.

MATT: Okay. That's rough. So you carved through all of his Armor of Agathys a while back and now it's looking real tough. It's having a rough go. It's like (growls). The shield did not help it. That battle cry is fucking it up.

TRAVIS: I'll use my 60 feet of fly speed to fly on the other side of him and flank him with Beau, right in his face.

MARISHA: Hell yeah.

MATT: So you're actually going in--

TRAVIS: In melee, yeah. Then--

MATT: There you go.

MARISHA: Cool.

TRAVIS: Give us the Cloven Crystal.

MATT: (growls) That finish your turn?

TRAVIS: Is it in his hands? Can we see it at all?

MATT: You don't see anything at the moment.

TRAVIS: Yeah, okay.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: That finishes my-- ♪ My turn ♪

MATT: Okay. Now this comes to... Yasha, you're up, because the giant's dead.

ASHLEY: Okay, so I'm going to float on down to the mage so I am in melee and sentinel somewhere, you know.

SAM: Melee, sentinel.

ASHLEY: I am going to take my first attack.

SAM: Yay.

ASHLEY: I'm ready!

TRAVIS: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Okay, I get advantage. Okay, so that would be-- Stand by. 23?

MATT: 23 just hits his armor class.

ASHLEY: Oh, that's right, because of the thing.

LAURA: Right, the shield.

MATT: The shield up.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, so we've got--

LAURA: The shield's still up? It stays?

MATT: It lasts until his next turn.

LIAM: Until he starts again.

LAURA: Oh, balls.

ASHLEY: Okay, so we've got, to start, 17.

MATT: 17.

ASHLEY: Plus-- Plus, 12. Plus--

LIAM: Leave him!

ASHLEY: Three, plus 17 because of my Radiant Soul

ASHLEY: Three, plus 17 because of my Radiant Soul because I'm flying right now.

MATT: That's right, okay.

SAM: 49.

ASHLEY: For first attack--

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Come on.

LAURA: Wow.

MATT: That's a lot. He's really fucking hurt.

MARISHA: Come on!

ASHLEY: Okay, second attack.

MARISHA: Kill it.

ASHLEY: Ooh. Yes, okay. That would be 28.

MATT: 28 definitely hits.

SAM: Oh!

MATT: Go ahead and roll for damage.

ASHLEY: Now we've got-- Here we go. This is going to be--

TRAVIS: Are you going to kill it?

ASHLEY: There's these.

MATT: This guy is a flaming pile.

ASHLEY: All right, that would be-- Ooh, that's good.

LIAM: This guy's real metal.

ASHLEY: 20 points of damage, plus-- 23 points of damage.

MATT: 23 points of damage. How do you want to do this? (cheering)

ASHLEY: Okay, so I'm going to float right behind him, and from the back, stick the blade in the back, the lower back. Then I'm going to start pulling it up.

MATT: (groans)

ASHLEY: B-b-b-back.

MATT: (squelching) As the blade carves up from the back, he's arching (gasps). And falls limp on your sword. As you pull out, the blade is (hissing) it's cauterizing the wound as you leave it in there, smoke pouring out of his chest. As you withdraw it, it (thumps) falls onto the ground.

ASHLEY: Falls onto the ground, cleave the head off.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Oh my god.

MATT: (whooshes) The head rolls off.

TRAVIS: Where is it? Where is it? Look for the eye.

ASHLEY: Okay, start looking.

MARISHA: The eye?

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That--

MATT: All right, Jester. That's your turn?

ASHLEY: -- is my turn.

MATT: All right, Jester.

ASHLEY: That's it.

LAURA: Uh-huh?

MATT: Whatcha doing?

LAURA: Does it look-- What's-- Oh, it's just Locate Creature, I don't have Locate Object.

TALIESIN: Is there a lot of sunlight in here at the moment?

MARISHA: Exactly, he's been going to therapy.

LAURA: There's just a little fish guy left? One fish guy?

TRAVIS: That we can see.

MATT: That you can see, yeah.

TALIESIN: And snakes.

TRAVIS: And hundreds of horrible--

MATT: And many snakes that are pouring in, which are going to start taking their thing at the end of this round.

TRAVIS: ♪ Taking their thing ♪

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay.

TALIESIN: So perhaps the sunlight issue, maybe.

LAURA: I'm going to Guiding Bolt the fish guy standing over--

SAM: I think they're all dead, aren't there?

MATT: No, there's one guy.

LAURA: No, there's one fish guy standing over in the corner.

SAM: Then you kill him. You're fine.

TRAVIS: These are all done. It's over here.

LAURA: No, that was such an aggressive roll.

MATT: You're casting it at 1st-level?

LAURA: No, I was casting it at 2nd.

MATT: 2nd, okay.

LAURA: So 18 plus 13.

MATT: That hits, you can roll damage.

LAURA: Which is 5d6. One, two, three, four. 10, 17, 19 points of damage.

MATT: 19 points of damage on the next strike. So (growls) he gets hit, crumbles to one knee, and you can see now this energy's floating around him, that faint bit of Traveler mark that's giving the next attack on him has advantage.

LAURA: Next attack gives advantage against this little fire guy. Oh, maybe I should end the earthquake. What do you think? Because we're in here now. Do you think it's--

TRAVIS: It's a cool effect.

LAURA: I'm going to-- (laughter)

TRAVIS: I'm enjoying myself.

MARISHA: (laughs)

LAURA: But don't we-- Yes, I'll end the earthquake.

MATT: Okay. (crumbling)

TRAVIS: There's lots of things in here.

MATT: The shaking comes to an end and you watch as upper pillars of the top of the temple that are falling against each other and are barely holding each other by the tension of it all collapsing at once have now come to hold each other in a perfect stillness.

MARISHA: Oh wow.

MATT: The temple just barely stopping from full collapse.

LAURA: Which I really think it should've been fully collapsed, but maybe not with all of us in here.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

SAM: It was a good move.

ASHLEY: Fair enough.

LAURA: I didn't know all of us would jump in immediately, you know what I mean?

SAM: According to my guidebook, in an earthquake, you're supposed to find a bathtub.

MATT and TRAVIS: (laugh)

SAM: So if you see any--

LAURA: I think that's a tornado.

ASHLEY: That's for something else, I think.

SAM: Well, I wrote the guidebook. It's my camp--

TRAVIS: Oh no. Who's your copy editor?

SAM: It's me guessing a lot. It's a lot of guessing.

MARISHA: Why are you referring to the guidebook if you wrote it?

LAURA: I think that's all I can do.

SAM: I forget sometimes. I was drunk when I wrote it.

MATT: Okay, and that's your turn?

LAURA: I mean, yes?

SAM: The later pages are all just scribbles.

LAURA: Yeah, I'm going to stand. I'm going to walk along the giant. Somebody has to kill this fish guy and look for the-- Oh, can I jump down and look for the-- That's an action. If I start looking for the crystal?

MATT: Yes.

LAURA: Okay. Then I'm going to stand on the giant.

MATT: Okay, you stand on the giant. All right, Caleb, you're up next because the mage is dead.

LIAM: But there's one fish guy across the room, right?

MATT: There is.

LAURA: You have advantage on him.

LIAM: Yeah, Caleb will hustle over that way. Go: Hey, you. You, hey. Fire Bolt. I will throw a flaming baseball across the room.

MATT: Go for it.

LIAM: ♪ Na, na, na, na, na ♪ At 17th level, it's 4d10. Okay, so there's an attack roll, plus spells are great. That is--

MATT: He's like (growls).

LIAM: 15 to hit that guy.

MATT: Looking about the ground and shouting out into the echoing of the chamber as it looks over towards you.

LIAM: It's a 15?

MATT: 15.

LIAM: Does it miss?

MATT: 15, it does not hit.

LIAM: Oh.

SAM: Oh my--

LAURA: Did you roll with advantage?

LIAM: I did. I rolled too low.

MATT: These guys have high dex.

LIAM: Oh, little help, please.

MATT: So, that finishes your turn.

LIAM: Mm-hmm.

MATT: On his turn...

SAM: This is the fish guy?

MATT: Fish guy. First off--

LAURA: He's looking terrible.

MATT: (whooshes)

MARISHA: What?

MATT: The ones that you had--

MARISHA: Aw!

MATT: -- when you did your Voltaic Bolt, you dropped your concentration on the--

SAM: That's a concentration spell?

MATT: It's as long as you're concentrating, if I recall, it keeps them stunned.

SAM: For sure.

LAURA: Is it?

SAM: I didn't know that Voltaic Bolt was a concentration. I'm sure you're right. You made the spell, so yes.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: They all leap down.

SAM: Voltaic Bolt. It's a concentration spell, he knows what he's talking about.

LAURA: Well, fuck.

SAM: It's okay.

TRAVIS: No, no.

MATT: They all take a lot of damage from falling 60 feet.

TRAVIS: 30 feet.

MARISHA: I just want to see them all die.

MATT: It's 30 feet per floor.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

MATT: So, they all take 27. (crashing) The one that's barely alive is like (growling). The rest of them (gasping). They all begin scrounging around.

LAURA: Oh shit.

TRAVIS: Yeah, touch the snakes.

MATT: One of them gets a natural 20. One of them goes through and pulls the Cloven Crystal from the rubble around.

TRAVIS: Oh!

MARISHA: What?

MATT: The others like (growls). They charge over to hold the line, and it rushes over to the center.

LAURA: You are kidding me.

MARISHA: Why does he-- Wait, what?

MATT: Then (bashing).

LIAM: They used their action to search.

MATT: Slams his first down into this sigil that was mostly covered by stone on the far end of the chamber.

SAM: You're right! The floor looks different!

MATT: As he does, (whooshes) light begins to emit from the center of this bright yellow, sickly, jaundiced yellow energy begins to fill the chamber from that side--

LAURA: All because you did the Voltaic Bolt.

SAM: I am a bad D&D player.

MATT: These creatures go (sinister laughs). The room, you see all these black runic symbols across the walls. Now you can see with the light around you, the walls of this chamber are intricately carved. You see reliefs carved into the stone of the sea, of navies pouring forward. You see in the sky a massive coiled serpent and a cloak around it above that is lording over the sky. This is an image of the Calamity. Those of you who are proficient with religion, you now recognize, if anybody's here proficient with religion.

MARISHA: I am.

MATT: You are. You recognize this temple as the temple of Zehir, the Cloaked Serpent. The god that created Uk'otoa--

SAM: (whispers) Uk'otoa.

MATT: -- and then upon being sealed, was betrayed by Uk'otoa, and is the one that sealed him originally.

MARISHA: So he made him and then he locked him away?

MATT: Yeah. He was a bad kid.

LIAM: Go to your room!

MATT: As the runes all go off, (bursting) you see them shatter. (crackling) They all crack, the room shakes for a moment more, couple of the stones (thudding). As they all start laughing, you can finish off these guys without issue, you don't have to spend a moment. They're relatively easy and minimal, but you sense, as the rest of your friends are finishing them off and Beauregard, you're taking in the shape of the space around you, you feel something within you. It's that dark, cold sensation that pulled you into this journey. He's out there. So now as the quiet rumbling had stopped, the seal, the final seal has been broken.

MARISHA: Uh, Fjord?

MATT: What do you do?

TRAVIS: I-- I have a terrible feeling. I've always felt a darkness inside me, even after the Wildmother gave me her blessing and her grace, but I don't feel like it's inside, or underneath anymore. It feels like it's out. Out there.

MATT: The air fills with this overwhelming sense of dread and almost brimming fury. Ethereal, like something dark and angry is present within this temple, sourceless and everywhere. Across the way, you see a multi-headed serpent, a statue that sits partially cracked and a large piece of stone from the upper floor pushed against it and the eyes of it emit a dull, green glow. All the snakes in the temple that had been slithering stop, and all at once face you.

TALIESIN: I don't like this.

ASHLEY: Uh...

TRAVIS: I immediately grab the Star Razor and I point to a spot at the top of the pedestal where the Storm Giant is and I'll cast Arcane Gate and you see a doorway go (whooshing) 10 foot in diameter and I'm like: We need to get out of here, now. I'll look up and point towards the top of the entrance that's within 500 feet and I'll create another portal that's facing out towards the top.

LAURA: Fuck yes.

LIAM: Dope.

MATT: The unfortunate thing is the dark divinity present here wants answers and as the gate opens, just as quickly (crackling), it crumbles and is gone.

MARISHA: Did you do that, did you do that?

TRAVIS: No, I've only done it a handful of times, but I don't think that's right.

MARISHA: Oh shit.

LIAM: Let's get to the center here.

SAM: On the giant?

TRAVIS: Yep.

LIAM: Ja, buy a few more seconds of life.

TALIESIN: Preparing to kill a snake?

MATT: As you all step, the snakes move out of your way, giving a wide berth.

MARISHA: What are they avoiding? You said there's lights and a bunch of shit on the wall. Does it look like it's leading to something?

MATT: The sunlight beams that came through, as the opening began to collapse, began to bring a lot more light in the chamber and they seem to have been drawn towards the light. That's what pulled them out. Now you're referring to which light necessarily?

MARISHA: You mentioned that there's like runes that lit up on the walls.

MATT: Yes, but those runes, they were this dark energy that all cracked and then the energy went away. It seems like this temple had been altered in some way to be a part of the seal that kept Uk'otoa at bay.

LAURA: So, this is a temple to the Cloaked whodie-whodie?

TRAVIS: Serpent Zehir.

MARISHA: Zehir is his name. He was a Calamity--

TRAVIS: Calamity was his game.

MARISHA: -- god.

LAURA: Is he still around, is he here right now?

MARISHA: Zehir?

LAURA: Zehir, are you here?

TALIESIN: Are you Ze-here?

MATT: You see that single statue with the dull, glowing green eyes at the top of the altar, across the chamber, just standing there.

SAM: Should we go touch it or talk to it?

LAURA: Zehir.

TALIESIN: What else is there to do?

TRAVIS: Start walking towards it.

MATT: Okay. You approach it, the snakes move out of the way. You get about a 10-foot wide berth.

MARISHA: What is that?

TRAVIS: As I'm walking towards it, I'll stop and turn to the right, and move perpendicular to it to see if the heads or eyes move.

MATT: As you begin to shift aside, the heads (rock grinding)--

TRAVIS: They're tracking.

MATT: -- shift in your direction. You blink and they're back to where they were. You're like, "The fuck was that?"

TRAVIS: Well, you have us here. You obviously don't want us to leave. What now?

MATT: The jaw of the statute (cracks). Dust drifts off the sides of it as it opens, revealing the stone fangs at the bottom of it. You hear it cracking and squeaking of rock carving against the stone. As it does, the eyes flare wide and in the entire chamber, you hear a rumbling, hissing voice. "Traitorous failure. False god. Foolish pretender. It will not escape punishment. And you, you carry the mark of its chosen. Explain before I bring this temple upon you all."

MARISHA: Oh, oh, he doesn't like you.

TRAVIS: It's not Uk'otoa, it's not Uk'otoa.

MARISHA: No, no, he's mad that Uk'otoa is like a false god.

LIAM: You needs someone to--

MATT: "The Wildmother stench is upon you."

MARISHA: He doesn't like the Wildmother either.

LAURA: It's not, it's not--

MATT: "You're a conflicted creature. (laughs)"

TALIESIN: It's a snake with three heads, but that's neither here nor there.

LAURA: Yeah, he doesn't care about Uk'otoa any more. He doesn't like him at all, Uk'otoa is really bad and he knows it, is all.

TRAVIS: She speaks true.

LIAM: You're stuck where you are. You need someone to catch your pet?

MATT: Make an intimidation check (laughs) against the Betrayer God. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Yes! ♪ Not many times that happens ♪

LIAM: Just a 17.

MATT: A 17?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: There's a moment of still tense silence before "(raspy laugh) What is your purpose here if not to unleash?" "What is your purpose here if not to unleash?"

TRAVIS: You mistake our purpose. We're here to stop his unleashing. I did have possession of two of the three Cloven Crystals and the third was taken from me, by force, by threatening the one I love.

LAURA: That's me.

TRAVIS: We came here as a means to stop it. If you would aid us in that venture, we would be allies.

SAM: With the Betrayer God?

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

MARISHA: Come on!

ASHLEY: Come on, come on!

MARISHA: Third god in that body!

LIAM: Come on, face man! Let's go, face man!

TRAVIS: (groans) Nope, nope. Eight.

MATT: Eight? Not great.

TRAVIS: Not great.

SAM: He could work it.

TRAVIS: Fake nine. (laughter)

MATT: "If our paths are to align, then I demand a pact."

LAURA: Oh man.

SAM: Wait, what? A pact?

ASHLEY: What kind of a pact are we talking about?

MATT: "Assurance."

ASHLEY: Assurance, okay.

MATT: "I need an eye upon you. I need to know if your words match your intent. I live in shadow and lies. I can see them and punish."

LIAM: I, with the Ring of Telepathy, don't open my mouth and say: Well, why don't you lay out the details?

MATT: "One of you will bear my mark. It is the necessary step to bind the Beast when brought low and return it to its prison below the waves. But the mark will live with you."

SAM: Forever?

MATT: "For as long as you have interest in my mind."

LAURA: What does the mark do again?

MATT: "With the mark comes a boon to help you."

TALIESIN: I like boons. I'm in. I'm interested, right here.

LAURA: Oh man.

SAM: You just got this body.

LAURA: You don't even know, like--

MARISHA: I don't know, it kind of tracks for--

ASHLEY: Yeah, I don't hate it, I don't hate it.

MARISHA: This is what they do. All of his forms have like-- this just feels right.

SAM: But shouldn't he have one lifetime where he's not connected to a dark power where he's not connected to a dark power that is corrupting him slowly until he dies and is reborn again?

MARISHA: He kind of keeps making the same choice.

TALIESIN: I don't necessarily think that's what the option is--

TRAVIS: I'll do it.

TALIESIN: That's a conversation.

TRAVIS: I'll do it. I know him better than anyone here.

MATT: There is a stillness in the chamber and the sunlight, the beams that are coming through now in the no-longer-shaking temple, your eyes can't help but meet where a lot of it is gathering at the top of the dais that stands before the statue.

SAM: Between Molly-- I mean, Kingsley and Fjord, are you guys going to Rollies for it, or--

TALIESIN: No, I'm going to let him have it.

SAM: Okay, it's going to be Fjord.

TRAVIS: It is my responsibility.

TALIESIN: I know I shouldn't have pushed that.

TRAVIS: I could've kept him away, I could have secreted the eye away, I could have done a million things, and I didn't. I fell in love. I gave it up the first moment that that was threatened.

LAURA: Sorry, Fjord.

TRAVIS: No, it's not your fault. I would do it again a million times, but I'm not about to put the lives of all those people up there at stake because I could have played the game better. I need to finish this. If my knowledge of him and his of me is something that we can play to our advantage, then I'll accept your pact.

MATT: "Then, approach."

TRAVIS: (uncertain groan) (whoosh) I just float out to him, I'm still flying.

MATT: You drift over, above the ground, the statue there, all the rest of you see the statue still, but in your mind, the heads (stone grinding), look up to you. The eyes in the other two flicker on. You feel that shadow, that darkness, the light from the sun temporarily begin to fade. In this moment, you feel this strange, like cold water unexpectedly thrown upon you in mid-sleep, streak across your chest, and you look down and for a moment, you don't even see your armor. It's an odd reflection of some of the early dreams with Uk'otoa, but less mysterious and more directly ominous, if powerful. The cold sensation becomes hot, burning. For a moment, you try and instinctively yell out in pain, but no voice emerges as you look down at your chest and you see the single green flame burning into your sternum. (sizzling) Runes burn across your chest in multiple directions, over your shoulders and then you fall to your feet. The spell having dropped. You're sweating. (panting) "Choose, do you embrace the shadow or climb the peak of the mountain?"

TRAVIS: You're giving me a fucking choice here? Oh no!

MARISHA: It's a choose-your- own-adventure. Come on, man!

SAM: Shadow or mountain.

TALIESIN: Don't think about Stay Puft Marshmallows.

TRAVIS: I choose to climb the mountain.

SAM: This is some marilith shit.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I looked the other way at the marilith and I died in two minutes.

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughter)

MATT: The statue (crackling), begins to crack, the heads, (thudding and crashing), tumble off, it breaks and crumbles and as it spills, the torso that stands there, you see the hilt of a blade in it--

LAURA: Oh no.

MATT: -- that was embedded within the statue. "Take the Fang of the Spire King. Bring low my renegade child, and doom them once more to the dark." That ominous sensation lifts like an exhale from the chamber, the sunlight beams brighten the interior once more and for the first time in it seems like an hour, you can hear the birds return from the jungles outside.

SAM: There's a sword?

TRAVIS: I will slowly walk towards the pedestal, is the hilt or cross, anything I can see, familiar in any way?

MATT: Not familiar to you at all, actually. It's got an intricate cross-guard. It looks-- it's smaller. It looks lighter than what you're used to wielding.

TRAVIS: I'll, holding my Star Razor, I'll cast See Invisibility, is there anything in, I mean, this is a gift, but I'm fucking suspicious as shit. Does anything show up with See Invisibility cast?

MATT: Nothing.

TRAVIS: Look around the room before I grab it.

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: Natural one, cool.

MATT: You see hundreds and hundreds of snakes, above, peering over the edge and crawling through the hole above and around the ruins, around, all just looking at you.

TRAVIS: Thanks, I hate it. I'll grab the--

SAM: Wait! There's no way you'll be able to pull it out. You're not strong enough. Should Yasha help, or--?

LAURA: He works out, like, every day now.

SAM: I know, but--

LAURA: Look at him. Look at his muscles. He's so buff now.

SAM: I mean--

TRAVIS: Yeah, Veth, you're right.

ASHLEY: I mean, if you can't do it--

TRAVIS: (sword unsheathing)

MATT: You pull it forth, a thin, long foil of a blade. This is definitely a rapier by design. It looks like an ancient relic that bears similar markings to parts of the temple, but beautifully, intricately carved. You, being the one who bears the mark, understand this is the Fang of the Spire King.

MARISHA: The Spire King?

SAM: The Spire King.

MATT: Correct.

MARISHA: I wrote Spider King.

TRAVIS: Damn!

SAM: Can it find Uk'otoa?

ALL: (whispering) Uk'otoa.

TRAVIS: Cool. I throw it in the lava-- no. (laughter)

LIAM: Is this a vestie?

LAURA: I know, you have two Vestiges now?

TRAVIS: No idea. I will--

MATT: It's not a Vestige. It is a legendary weapon, though.

TRAVIS: I will turn and walk to Jester.

LAURA: Hi.

TRAVIS: I'm so sorry, I don't ever want you to think that any of that was your fault.

LAURA: Can I see the mark on his chest?

MATT: No, you don't see anything. He's wearing his armor.

TRAVIS: Everything's going to be fine. Kingsley.

TALIESIN: Yes?

TRAVIS: You were so eager to accept the pact. Why?

TALIESIN: Why not? All of you weren't going to do it, you were taking your bloody time. And what else do I have?

LAURA: Okay.

TALIESIN: I'm not betraying anything.

LAURA: You have a boat-in-a-box. That's pretty impressive.

TALIESIN: Thank you. I think the boat-in- the-box would be okay with that decision.

TRAVIS: You've been given a new start, so your choices between light and dark matter, and this has a little bit of a dark connotation to it. So--

TALIESIN: And here you are.

TRAVIS: Well, it's not for me. I'll extend the hilt to Kingsley.

SAM: Oh, you're giving him the rapier?

TALIESIN: Are you sure?

TRAVIS: I suppose we'll find out, won't we?

TALIESIN: Every now and then I like you.

MATT: It's beautiful in your grasp. Nearly weightless. As you touch it, there's this almost static electricity-like sensation that strikes through your fingers and the buzzing, the gentle electrical buzzing of it makes it seem like it could be faster than any blade you've held.

TALIESIN: I think it may be a problem. I appreciate that. I pull my other sword out, I put this one back and I put out the right, my other sword, and stash it in the side.

TRAVIS: I look over at Yasha and say: No offense, it just doesn't seem like your style.

ASHLEY: No, no, no, no, no, that's way too small. That doesn't make sense.

LIAM: Yeah, okay. So what are our next steps?

MARISHA: Well, how does this work? Do you bear the mark, but he gets the sword? Does that still stand?

TRAVIS: I don't know. I think we're making up the rules as we go. Can I use Divine Sense to sense fey, fiend or undead?

LIAM: Yeah, I was going to say, do we feel--?

MATT: You do not sense any fey, fiend, or undead. The presence seems to have left, sated.

LIAM: The sense of dread has left.

MATT: It is washed away.

TRAVIS: As I extend that Divine Sense in this new pact, is there any kind of a feeling or a compulsion or a ping outside of this cave that would be--?

MATT: Because you still claim within you the pact of Uk'otoa and now bear the mark of vengeance of Zehir, the Cloaked Serpent upon your very pact master, you know that somewhere south in the Lucidian, Uk'otoa now roams free, and who knows what he's unleashing.

LAURA: Oh, we've got to get him to stop.

TRAVIS: You see me have a little shiver.

LAURA: Do you have to pee?

TRAVIS: Horse nipples. Yes.

LIAM: You can go literally anywhere in here, it won't matter.

TALIESIN: The snakes might mind.

TRAVIS: I hope you believe me, but--

MARISHA: It's a temple.

TRAVIS: -- I feel like there's something going on in the southern part of the Lucidian Ocean.

LAURA: Of course we believe you. Uk'otoa was just released!

TRAVIS: We should probably get out of here.

LAURA: Can you still make a thingy so we can get out?

TRAVIS: I spent it.

LAURA: Ugh.

MARISHA: (laughs)

LAURA: I spent my thing to get out, too!

TALIESIN: So bloody typical of both of you.

LAURA: Hey, Zehir!

TRAVIS: Snakes, aid us in our ascension!

MATT: The snakes all pull away and start going--

TRAVIS: Worth a try. Worth a try.

TALIESIN: I pull out a small box that begins unfolding with a balloon.

MARISHA: That would've been sick. Surfing the snake. (laughter)

SAM: We're going to need a boat, right? We're going to need a bigger boat?

TALIESIN: We are going to need a boat.

LAURA: No, we can turn into birds.

TALIESIN: We have a boat. We're going to need a ship.

LIAM: I can also get us out of here. But are we going straight to--

LAURA: Oh right, you can teleport.

SAM: The middle of the ocean?

LIAM: Ukie?

TRAVIS: We need at least a port with a ship, right?

MARISHA: Yeah, are we going to fight him? We need a boat.

TRAVIS: So Nicodranas or Port Damali or--

LAURA: How far is the ping--

TALIESIN: We need one hell of a ship.

LAURA: -- from any of the port cities?

TRAVIS: I think I'd have to get to the coast and then feel.

LIAM: Well, I can get us to Nicodranas again. I can get us--

SAM: Okay.

LIAM: Yeah, we would go there, and this is not just a storm giant as it is a titan. So we need to marshal our forces and be ready.

TRAVIS: You couldn't teleport us to Darktow, could you?

LIAM: I could.

TALIESIN: What a good idea that is!

TRAVIS: I just need to feel-- From where we are, because we are slightly northeast of where Nicodranas is via the map.

MATT: Correct.

TRAVIS: Is it a hard south or is it a southwest?

MATT: It's a hard south, from best you can tell.

TRAVIS: Nicodranas will be fine.

SAM: But Darktow's so cool!

MARISHA: Are we still banished?

TALIESIN: We're going to find--

SAM: We can get better ships there!

TRAVIS: I feel like he's attacking Darktow.

SAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm down with that.

TALIESIN: I think we'll find a meaner ship.

SAM: He's dead. We'll see the Plank King.

TALIESIN: And people more willing to do something ridiculous--

LAURA: The Plank King is dead?

TALIESIN: -- for money in Darktow.

SAM: Didn't we kill the Plank King?

LAURA: No, we killed Avantika.

TRAVIS: That's fair.

LAURA: The Plank King is--

LIAM: Plank King killed Avantika.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah, but we were still-- we were banished from Darktow.

SAM: That's why we should go back!

MATT: You were banished from Darktow and were told that you would be killed on sight if you return.

SAM: Let's go back!

LAURA: I've been sending the Plank King messages back and forth.

TRAVIS: You've been doing what?

LAURA: I mean, he's kind of a funny guy is the thing.

TRAVIS: Let me see your DMs. (laughter) (laughter)

TRAVIS: Let me see it!

LIAM: Hey, Plank King. You up?

LAURA: Let's not make Fjord that kind of a--

MARISHA: Pitch.

TRAVIS: (angry hissing)

MARISHA: We could pop by Rumblecusp, because there was a cave filled with boats.

TALIESIN: What the fuck is that?

MARISHA: Oh, wait, did we burn those boats?

SAM: No, no, all the boats were taken home by the people who were stranded there.

LAURA: But we opened up a resort there, there might be new boats!

SAM: But the Darktow boats are probably fast and powerful pirate-type vessels, so.

TRAVIS: Let's go to Nicodranas, weigh our options and figure it out also because trying to go to Darktow and convince the Plank King that a giant sea serpent is attacking the world might not fly over so well.

TALIESIN: Well, we could let him know right now, couldn't we?

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: I could. I'm going to message the Plank King to let him know.

TRAVIS: Do it.

SAM: Just out of the blue.

TALIESIN: It's an emergency.

SAM: Remember us from three years ago?

LAURA: No, I'm not lying. I message a lot of people all the time, okay?

TALIESIN: It's true.

LAURA: It's been six months of unused spells, you guys.

TALIESIN: All the time.

LAURA: So many messages.

LIAM: Just every night at bed, it's like, (as Jester) "Oh, hey, syphilis gang, it's me."

LAURA: How have you been?

SAM: Well, hey, random bandits.

TALIESIN: I have heard one half of so many conversations.

LAURA: I'm Sending a message to the Plank King.

LIAM: ♪ Right now ♪

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Plank King! There's a big god of a serpent named Uk'otoa who just got released. He's going to wreak havoc on everything! We need help!

SAM: Oh!

ASHLEY: Nice!

LIAM: Going through the Rolodex.

MATT: "I've told you time and time again, stop messaging me. (laughter)

MATT: "I swear, one more time, I'm going to find you. I'm going to cut your throat." (laughter) (laughter)

LAURA: I think he really likes me.

TRAVIS: What did he say?

LAURA: He said he is going to cut my throat if I do it again, but he says that every time, so.

SAM: We don't even need him, do we?

TALIESIN: I don't like that.

SAM: We would just need the boat people.

TRAVIS: Well.

MARISHA: Still banished on all of Darktow, not just in a 50 feet radius--

TRAVIS: Nicodranas first.

MARISHA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Nicodranas first.

TALIESIN: You're a weird government person, maybe we can get a big military ship thing?

MARISHA: I'm a glorified librarian.

TRAVIS: Don't sell yourself short!

ASHLEY: You're a lot more than that.

TALIESIN: That's not what I heard.

LAURA: You're so much cooler than that. I mean, librarians are cool, though. Don't get me wrong.

ASHLEY: For sure, but it's a lot more than that.

LAURA: But most of them can't kick ass like you can, so.

MARISHA: I'm not denying any of this, I'm just saying we don't have boats, we have books.

LAURA: Mm.

TALIESIN: Do you have--

MATT: What's the plan?

TRAVIS: Nicodranas.

SAM: Nicodranas.

ASHLEY: Nicodranas.

MARISHA: All right. Does this mean we can stay the night at The Lavish Chateau? It's been so long and I want that charcuterie board.

TRAVIS: What the fuck? Uk'otoa is out there! You're talking about a charcuterie board?

MARISHA: I've been doing a lot of paperwork and desk jockey stuff and I'm a little winded.

TALIESIN: One more night before death. You used to understand that.

SAM: We're going to Nicodranas.

MATT: Okay. (laughter)

MATT: With Caleb gathering your troop together.

LIAM: Yeah, where do we want? Your living room or your mama's house?

LAURA: What's wrong with my living room?

LIAM: Your living room?

SAM: Mama's house.

LIAM: I'm just the bus driver. You tell me where we're going.

TALIESIN: Mama's house.

MARISHA: Mama's house has more titties!

LAURA: Yeah, my mama's house.

LIAM: That's a good point.

MATT: All right. Don't even have to roll. You're extremely familiar with some of these spaces. So you return back to Nicodranas to a combination of standard energy and day-to-day bustle, but also whispers and conversations. You, listening out, hear people talking about a dark storm that has immediately begun brewing south to the Swavain Islands, larger than any storm people have seen in over a hundred years. As you hear that, you glance off on the horizon. Even from here, this late in the day, you can see the black massive clouds and the occasional flashing.

LAURA: Oh shit.

MARISHA: Maybe we won't need a boat.

MATT: Now, those that are focused into the realms of the divine, or meditate with an open mind apparently have began shouting terrible visions of the sea breaking, images of many yellow eyes in their dreams. Coastal cities in ruins, consumed by waves and fire. Already at this point, you can see many ships that are starting to, throughout the night, stock up. The Clovis Concord navy is currently being mobilized and sent out at sundown to go and inspect this. Best you can tell from what you're hearing about, the center of the storm currently looms to the east of Brokenbank.

LAURA: Wait, of what?

MATT: Brokenbank.

LAURA: Brokenbank.

MATT: You hear a tale that boats in Port Zoon are being mobilized. The navy presence here in the city is not massive that sits within the harbor, many of it patrols. But you hear that a lot of it's being shifted and pushed that direction. But the evening is yours. Are you searching for a ship tonight or are you resting first and then taking your leave?

LIAM: Maybe we should get it prepared tonight.

MARISHA: Yeah, and hit it first thing.

LIAM: Ready to go first thing in the morning.

TRAVIS: Yes.

MARISHA: That's not a bad idea.

TRAVIS: Yes, deals are to be struck this evening before we rest.

MARISHA: Especially if they're mobilizing all the boats, we might want to get one before they're all gone.

TRAVIS: Yep.

MATT: The naval ships have already been conscripted, but there are two ships that you see within the harbor that are at your disposal. The names are Drensala Vis and the Ever Onward.

LAURA: The Ever Onward?

MATT: Which of these ships would you like to inquire with?

TALIESIN: The Ever Onward.

SAM: Drensala Vis?

MATT: Drensala Vis.

LAURA: Drensala Vis, what is that? Is that a--

MATT: It's an Elvish phrase.

TRAVIS: Are they comparable?

LAURA: Do we know what that means? Wait, do any of us speak Elvish?

LIAM: I speak Sylvan.

MARISHA: I know all the things!

LAURA: What does it mean?

MARISHA: I know all languages!

MATT: I'll have to look up what it means. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Are they comparable? Are they comparable ships?

LIAM: Is it all languages?

TRAVIS: Single main masts?

LIAM: At all times? I can't remember the mechanics.

TRAVIS: Double main masts?

MARISHA: It's sun--

MATT: Sorry, it's not in Elven. It's Marquesian. My bad. Marquesian for "luck of the mother."

MARISHA: Luck of the mother!

LAURA: Oh, that's kind of--

MARISHA: Tongue of the Sun.

TRAVIS: Comparable ships, size?

MATT: Both comparable. Both about the same size. Both outfitted. It's more about the personality. You haven't met the captains of each yet, but you can choose one to engage if you'd like.

SAM: I've met the captain already.

TRAVIS: Have you?

SAM: I'm looking at him.

TRAVIS: Oh Veth, you sweet talker.

ASHLEY: Wow.

TRAVIS: How are we feeling? Drensala Vis or Ever Onward?

MARISHA: Well, Drensala Vis definitely has a very deeper connotation and meaning. It's kind of ironic based on your connection to the Wildmother. Ever Onward just has a nice ring to it. It's very catchy, very snappy.

TALIESIN: You said the songs they sing will be better.

LIAM: We just said hello to the Mother in the jungle. That a sign.

LAURA: Drensala Vis!

TRAVIS: Onward ever for after, there it is. Okay, Drensala Vis!

MATT: All right. Approaching the ship, you can see a lot of the crew is in the process of playing card games on the deck and looking off and talking and pointing out to the--

TRAVIS: Nope, nope, nope. Fuck them.

MATT: -- the storm out there. (laughter)

TRAVIS: The captain, you do recognize. You met her once in passing along the wharf here in this city, quite a while ago. Captain Adella. You've spoken with her briefly to possibly charter something. She actually-- She talked to you. I can't remember the specifics of it. I think it may have been around a bar fight or getting into trouble there in the bar. But you see her long sea-tattered hair, wild and graying against the dark coloration. Dark, wrinkled skin that shows she's been at sea for quite some time and has experience. Long, light brown coat hangs down her calf-high boots. As you step across the way, she looks up to the rest of you. "Ah, can I help you? You're looking mighty--"

SAM: Nein?

LAURA: Mighty Nein.

MATT: "Mighty Nein, I guess. I don't know, what? We've met before. Some of you look familiar."

MARISHA: Yeah, it's been a while. I think we were probably a pain in your ass like a year, 18 months ago.

LAURA: You know that big storm that's happening over there?

MATT: "Yeah."

LAURA: We want to go to it.

MATT: "Why?"

LAURA: So we can kill the thing that's causing it.

MATT: You can see she looks back at it with this distant look and her right hand, her fingers are-- You can see she's picking at her fingernails with a nervous energy, a little grin across her face and she goes, "You know, ever since that thing started growing, I started feeling worried, and also feeling excited. I don't know, it's been a while since I've seen some real action out on these waters. I'm far too long outside of just pirate business and such mundane challenges. Getting a little bored, you know what I'm saying?"

TALIESIN: Absolutely.

LIAM: The storm will eventually be coming here anyway. So we are just cutting it off at the pass.

MATT: "I like that business." Make a persuasion check with advantage with your help. "See, I have a bit of history heroic--"

LAURA: Oh shit!

LIAM: She goes back to Vox Machina.

SAM: Campaign 1.

SAM and LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: 18 plus persuasion, which is plus seven. So 25!

MATT: 25. "Now I've had a bit of history with heroic and dangerous travel and it looks like you've got that dangerous look in your eye. Let's see if you can make the heroic part. How soon you planning to leave and how much are you paying?"

TRAVIS: The morning, and I'm afraid it's a fortune.

MATT: "Well, let's get the morning going." (laughter)

SAM: The double (hands slapping).

TRAVIS: You see the waves go (exploding). (laughter)

MATT: With that, she begins to whip up her crew, saying, "Bring the ties back in! Let's buy supplies for, I don't know how long at sea." (laughter)

LAURA: I like her.

MARISHA: Duh-- Do they

LAURA: (Beethoven Symphony #5) ♪ Duh duh duh duh ♪

MARISHA: ♪ Duh duh duh duh Duh duh duh duh ♪ Do they maybe want more crew? Should we call Orly and--

LAURA: I don't want to risk Orly's life again.

SAM: You'd rather risk these people's lives?

MARISHA: Okay. Orly gets a vacation.

TALIESIN: How much of a navigator do we really need? We can see where we're going.

TRAVIS: I'm sure they'll have their own, yeah.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: All right. As the day draws to a close, they gather the materials and they tell you, "If you're going to rest here, we can leave in the morning or you could get on the ship if you mind a little less comfortable grounds to stay in then we can make for sea now."

TRAVIS: Clovis Concord navy to go tonight, yeah.

SAM: And sleep on the ship while it's-- will we get to that storm before we wake?

TRAVIS: Here's the only thing, every time we go in the fucking sea, because it's Uk'otoa, shit goes south, right? So we could get attacked in the middle of the night and if you don't sleep with your fucking armor on, that can go real sideways for you.

LAURA: But he could be here by the morning.

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Let's sleep with our armor.

MARISHA: All I need is a short rest, that's I need.

LAURA: Let's sleep with our armor on!

MATT: Looking out there, and you know it's near to the east of Brokenbank, it's-- On decent weather, at least the better part of a day to get there.

SAM: Will we get a night's rest?

LIAM: While they're having this debate, I tap Beau and say: I'll be right back, and I fly off.

MARISHA: Get me a charcuterie plate to go!

LIAM: Okay. I head towards Yussa's tower.

MATT: Okay, over to the Tidepeak Tower.

LIAM: I'm going to strafe it and float halfway up the height of it and use the Ring of Telepathy. Yussa, it's Caleb Widogast, are you at home right now?

MATT: "I am. What do you need, Caleb Widogast?"

LIAM: Are you aware of the storm on the horizon?

MATT: "I am, I'm looking into it currently. Something strange and evil seems to have taken root in the ocean. Do you know anything about that, Caleb Widogast?"

LIAM: Funny story, we are headed there now. We may have pulled the trigger on that one.

MATT: "Well, I appreciate that some people are willing to clean up their own messes."

LIAM: I don't know that we're coming back. Maybe not. Got anything that can help fight a titan?

MATT: "I don't know what I would have to offer that you don't already have at your disposal, Caleb Widogast, though, maybe some potions might be your disposal."

LIAM: I would be ever so grateful.

MATT: A moment later, at the edge of the tower, you see there is a painting on the outside, the faint outline of a balcony painted on the outside that you blink, and it's a full balcony.

TRAVIS: Wow.

MATT: The curtain separate from it and Yussa steps out in this long, lush, bright, golden robe that almost drags to the ground with this white soft trim on it. Steps forward with a leather satchel and hangs it over the edge.

LIAM: You're a wonderful wizard. Danke schön.

MATT: "Don't study too much. You're catching up too quick." Turns around and walks back into the tower.

LIAM: Hope I see you next week. (whoosh)

MATT: With that.

SAM: Disappears.

LIAM: I'm going to go to the downstairs part.

ALL: Whoa!

LAURA: Whoa!

SAM: Potions galore!

TALIESIN: Okay.

LAURA: ♪ Pa, pa, potions ♪

ASHLEY: This is intense.

LIAM: Okay, so I catch up with the gang.

LAURA: Oh!

SAM: Oh god.

LIAM: Glug, glug, glug, glug.

MATT: Just chugs them in front of you just to be a dick.

LIAM: I lost five hit points earlier. I really-- I have three extra. I'm going to hold the big one, because you know, 111 hit points.

MARISHA: I've got a big one that I found.

LAURA: Fjord. Definitely give Fjord one.

MARISHA: Fjord should definitely have one.

LIAM: Okay, pass it down.

ASHLEY: I'm okay, I'm okay, I have--

LAURA: I can heal myself, you take it!

LIAM: Kingsley, why don't you?

TALIESIN: Thank you.

SAM: Are we going tonight, then?

LAURA: I think we should sleep on the boat.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: Want to tradesies?

ASHLEY: I do, too.

TRAVIS: We do it.

ASHLEY: I love sleeping in a boat.

SAM: I don't, but I will.

LIAM: Do we want to maybe--

SAM: If I'm drunk.

LIAM: -- grab that charcuterie plate for the boat?

MARISHA: Yes, please.

LIAM: Okay, let's go past the Lavish Chateau on the way to... We're at the docks.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: I flew-- No, retcon. I flew past the Lavish Chateau and asked Bluud for a charcuterie plate.

MARISHA: And a bottle of wine!

MATT: Okay. (laughs) He looks at you, big minotaur face, head cocked to the side. "Is this... Is this for Jester?"

LIAM: Jester and friends.

MATT: "Then it'll be done."

LIAM: Special meal.

MATT: He turns out, and you hear him yell, "Give me a meat plate!" (laughter)

LAURA: I love Bluud.

MATT: Moment later, he comes out, (booming) and you see this gorgeous charcuterie plate on beautiful porcelain long, square plate. He goes, "Here. Tell her we miss her."

LIAM: Don't mind me. I put down a bunch of amber, whip out the spell book. (whooshes) I hang it around my neck--

MATT: Perfect.

LIAM: -- and fly off to the group with these potions.

MATT: The last thing you hear as you dart off, "That was weird."

LIAM: Danke!

MATT: (laughs)

LIAM: (whooshes)

MATT: All right.

LIAM: Okay, I have meat and potions.

MARISHA: Did you get the wine? Did you hear me say, "Get wine"?

LIAM: I heard you say... Wine?

MARISHA: Yeah. What good is a charcuterie plate without wine?

LAURA: I've got wine in the haversack.

MARISHA: Do you?

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Nott, do you still have stuff in your flask? Do you still drink? You still drink.

SAM: I still nip every once in a while.

MARISHA: I actually have your refilling flask. You gave it to me.

SAM: Yeah, I know. A long time ago, I had a everlasting flask of sherry made. I don't like the heavy stuff anymore. I just drink sherry. It's just a little.

MARISHA: Right. I've got the heavy stuff.

TALIESIN: What's the heavy stuff?

MARISHA: I don't know, I actually haven't had it in a while.

TRAVIS: It's kerosene.

MARISHA: Try it.

LIAM: But I recommend we--

MARISHA: Yeah, moonshine.

LAURA: We should get on the boat, then?

LIAM: We get on the boat, have one nightcap for our last night, maybe.

LAURA: I wonder if the boat has milk. I hope so. (gags) (laughter)

SAM: You could milk me.

LAURA: Ew. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Okay. Okay.

LIAM: God!

LAURA: Veth.

TRAVIS: Oh no.

TALIESIN: She's really a friend.

MATT: As you gather the last of your things--

TRAVIS: Please, don't.

MATT: You assemble on the Drensala Vis, which then quickly finishes its business--

MARISHA: I pour out a little toast and I lay out the charcuterie tray.

LAURA: I'm going to send a message to my mom telling her-- Oh shit, after the toast. (laughter)

MARISHA: To unfinished business.

TRAVIS: To sealing the deal. (clink)

SAM: To Uk'otoa.

ALL: (creepy whispering) Uk'otoa.

MARISHA: To Ukie-kooky.

LIAM: Isn't it weird how we always, all of us, whisper his name anytime another person in the group says it?

TALIESIN: I've been meaning to ask about that, actually. It's strange.

ASHLEY: I'm not sure how it even started. It just--

LAURA: I like to think of the noises.

SAM: Want M&M&M&Ms?

LAURA: Oh, yummo. No, I've got a stomachache from eating all this candy before. But I'll take it, yeah.

TALIESIN: This is a terrible charcuterie board.

TRAVIS: Stop.

SAM: Jim & Tims?

TALIESIN: It's just chocolate.

MATT: (whooshing) The sounds of ocean water slapping the side of the ship as you set off southward into the Lucidian Ocean and towards the Swavain Islands. As you begin to rustle into your space for the night to rest, you said you wanted to message your mother?

LAURA: I did, I want to tell her: Mama. Help me, Fjord. Count. Okay, fuck it.

TRAVIS: I've got it.

LAURA: Mama!

TRAVIS: One word.

SAM: Just killed a man.

LAURA: Nicodranas is in danger, sort of. Can you go live with Papa for a little bit? Just get out of the city, okay? Love you.

MATT: "Jester. Thank you for letting me know. I have friends I can stay with. Maybe not with Papa for the moment, but I will stay safe. You stay safe. Love you."

ASHLEY: What?

SAM: Can you also message Yeza and tell him to take the campers maybe on a field trip to higher ground?

LAURA: All of the kiddos.

SAM: They can practice their hikes, they can make a shelter, maybe a whole weekend of it.

LAURA: Send a message to Yeza. It's Jester. Uk'otoa has been unleashed! Nicodranas is going to perish, potentially. (laughter)

LAURA: Take the campers, get to high ground!

SAM: Wilde out.

LAURA: Wilde out! (laughter)

SAM: Love you, Veth. Or love, Veth. Love, love--

LAURA: Love, live, Veth. (laughter)

MATT and MARISHA: Love, live, Veth.

MATT: I want that on my wall.

TRAVIS: That was awesome. (laughter)

LIAM: Live, laugh, camp.

LAURA: Live, laugh, love.

TALIESIN: If we're doing any more business before the end of the night, are we doing more business before the end of the night?

TRAVIS: Are we?

SAM: I don't think so.

LAURA: No, let's go to sleep.

TALIESIN: All right. Going to sleep?

SAM: Why? What are you doing?

TALIESIN: I had a quick thing. Once it's a little late, I'm going to very gently start knocking on your two rooms.

LAURA: Whose two rooms?

ASHLEY: Who?

MARISHA: Mine and Yasha?

TALIESIN: Yeah. (knocks)

SAM: Your one room?

MARISHA: (groans) What?

TALIESIN: Oh, thank you. I'm going to open it and come in and shut the door behind me.

MARISHA: No, no, come in, make yourself comfortable.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Are you awake?

MARISHA: I opened the fucking door. Of course I'm awake.

TALIESIN: Excellent. I just thought it'd be polite to ask.

ASHLEY: What's up?

TALIESIN: I pass the whiskey.

ASHLEY: Should I bottoms up?

TALIESIN: I was curious. Before all of this goes down and one of the two of you, if not both of you, die, I was hoping at some point to talk about Molly.

MARISHA: Okay.

TALIESIN: What were your impressions?

ASHLEY: Very, you know, a little eccentric. Fun. Caring. Wonderful person to talk to about a lot of things. Wonderful person to talk to about a lot of things.

MARISHA: You know, Kingsley, it's weird, because when you came back as Lucien, and everything that we did--

TALIESIN: I didn't, but yes.

MARISHA: It was described to us that you were a soul that was fractured across time and space, and... Depending on which part of that shard came in Depending on which part of that shard came in leading the charge, shaped who you ended up being. But you're still cut from the same cloth. So in every form that we've known you in, honestly, there's a lot of similarities.

TALIESIN: That's actually why I ask.

MARISHA: It seems... You seem to embody that balance between nature and nurture.

TALIESIN: Well, I have been thinking about it, and I've been trying to figure out where the other two went wrong. One of the things I was going to ask, is what was something that either you didn't like or was a problem with Molly? I know more about Lucien at this point. I've actually been talking to Caduceus on the side, and every now and then, Captain will talk about that fight, but not the other way. Every now and then Jester will talk about Molly, but it's what you would expect from her. But I'm trying to make new mistakes, I promise.

MARISHA: One thing that is certain is that you are always quite passionate. I think it really depends on what captures your interests and what you become passionate about. That seems to be the strongest influence. And just as anyone can fall into the wrong crowd or on the wrong path, I think it just depends on the choices you make and what you choose to follow.

TALIESIN: Hmm.

MARISHA: So far, I mean, you're still kind of an insufferable asshole, just like Molly was.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

MARISHA: And Lucien.

TALIESIN: I've been told, politely.

MARISHA: I can see Jester, and I can see Fjord. I can see Caduceus.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

MARISHA: And the way that they're rubbing off on you.

TALIESIN: I've realized, at the beginning, that I was running from everything that had happened before, and that's something that the other two had done and so it was probably something I didn't want to do again, which is why I'm asking. It'd be better to... If you think of them as parents. I've been told that the best thing you can do is do just slightly better than them. And that's... Honest to the gods, that is actually what I'm trying to do. I don't necessarily know what it's going to look like. I have thoughts. Some that I think that either one of them might approve of, that you might approve of, and I want to make sure that you know that if nothing but out of respect for my family, for my parents, we always have a fair deal.

ASHLEY: I say that sometimes when you're on a path and you have two ways to go, just try to keep in mind that... Try to go towards the good decision, you know? This is something that I do, so I can share this with you.

TALIESIN: Oh, well, all right.

ASHLEY: Don't go to the dark path, because Molly sort of teetered, and Lucien just did a full sprint.

TALIESIN: That was some very poor decisions.

ASHLEY: Let's just try to keep going another way.

TALIESIN: Hmm.

MARISHA: A little bit of selfishness is good for survival.

TALIESIN: I will say, every version of me definitely loves an audience.

MARISHA: A lot of selfishness alienates everyone around you.

TALIESIN: I try and be a good person, or whatever I think that is. I take care of the crew, I work hard. As you're working with somebody, for someone, you take care of them. But you know, sometimes that means you have to get a little violent, make some unfortunate decisions. But I think you know that.

MARISHA: There's nothing wrong with a little bit of violence. It's healthy. You seem to have a healthy respect for Jester and the Captain.

TALIESIN: Definitely Jester, yes.

MARISHA: And if I ever see you fucking change that or falter, I'll fucking kill you, again.

ASHLEY: I think that's pretty fair.

TALIESIN: There will always be respect. It may not always look like it, but I promise there will always be respect. They taught me most of everything I know. I appreciate that, and both of you look, well, honestly not tired, but like you'd rather be doing other things. I'll take that. Oh, did you bring wine, too? I will take that as well.

MARISHA: I did, want some? Yeah, yeah, it's good.

TALIESIN: Yep, yep, that's fine. Goodnight.

MARISHA: That's one of the Lionett wine by the way, it's really good. Speaking of generational traumas. All right, bye.

ASHLEY: Good night.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: (laughs)

MATT: With that, you all can get a long rest.

LAURA: Yay!

MATT: As you travel, the exhaustion and the tension in the day catches you into an early night's sleep.

LAURA: Did you throw it? I missed it.

MATT: Before the sun rises--

LAURA: Oh no.

MATT: -- the ship is noticeably rocking heavily. The sound of waves impacting on the side of the ship becomes an arrhythmic drum. (thudding sounds) Occasionally, you hear the distant rumble of lightning, and you hear members of the Drensala Vis running up and down the deck. You catch the phrase, "The storm's moving north. We're going to get there sooner."

LAURA: Oh no.

MATT: "All hands on deck!" With that, you hear the wind picking up.

LAURA: We got a long rest? This is right when we wake up?

MATT: You got a long rest.

LAURA: (relieved groan)

MATT: But as you begin to glance out to inspect, indeed, the dark storm clouds above have taken the entire horizon around you. There's a faint bit of light, like the sunrise itself is trying to creep through the storm, but the rain is too strong as it pours down onto the deck around you. The waves crashing and distant lightning. (lightning crashing) In one flash, not far from you, you swear you see six or seven different ships on the horizon, and you can hear the distant sounds (explosions) of cannon fire. You see Captain Adella spinning her wheel at the top, saying, "All right, we're making our way to whatever this is!"

SAM: ♪ Makin' my way ♪

MATT: "Oh, I'm excited!" As the ship pushes on, the tension growing, within you, you can feel that cold sense getting stronger and stronger, and you can't tear your eyes away from the horizon. You see the flashes of cannon light. Another flash of lightning, and you swear in a moment, you saw something else out there, something tall and long, and familiar. And that's where we're going to go to break.

TRAVIS: (groans)

ASHLEY: Woo-hoo-hoo!

TALIESIN: Let's blow the fucker up.

LIAM: Oh shit, dude.

TRAVIS: If we were wondering--

ASHLEY: Oh boy, oh boy.

MARISHA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: We're coming back here in a moment. We'll see you in a few moments. Hang around, sit tight. We'll see you then.

SAM: Yay!

ASHLEY: Woo!

TRAVIS: Oh man. (light music) I'm a cat. A lot's been going on in the world of Critical Role. Not all of it super great. There was a lot of cool battles. And wow, Delilah Briarwood was back. How retro. As of this taping, though, things seem to be headed in the right direction for the Hells Bells. At least, you know, with Laudna's soul being freed and all. That's nice, I guess. She was great and creepy. But like, creepy hot. You get it. Anyway, I love watching Critical Role on my dope laptop. I just got the stickers how I wanted. (doorbell ringing) (dogs barking) (hissing) Ah! You stupid, idiot dog, come on. Ugh, what a flippin' idiot. I can't believe he screwed up my computer. I just wrote that sick Pâté-Chetney fan fiction and now I lost it. Ugh, what a "Cat"-astrophe. Don't worry, Cat Man, you have Backblaze. And backing up your files has never been easier. Backblaze makes backing up your computer a piece of cake. Whether you're using a Mac or a PC, all of your computer's files will be backed up safely and securely in our cloud and available to you whenever you need them. If you need your files on the go, you can access all of your data with our iOS or Android apps. And if you need all of the data that's on your computer, you could restore by mail. We'll send you a hard drive with all of your data on it and you can return it to us for a full refund. Peace of mind from knowing all of your data is safely and securely in the cloud and available to you whenever you need it. That's Backblaze. That's why I'm standing in front of a green screen imploring you to go to Backblaze.com/CriticalRole. And just for this month of December, if you go to Backblaze.com/CriticalRole to download a Backblaze trial you can use the code CriticalRole at checkout to get 25% off of your first Backblaze purchase. That's Backblaze.com/CriticalRole. And this December use the code CriticalRole at checkout to get 25% off. Thanks Backblaze Yev. That's great. I'm so relieved knowing that all my files are backed up with Backblaze. What a load off. Also, I just wanted to take a moment to say how incredibly handsome and good looking you are. It's been great being here with you just in time for the holidays we have the Critical Role code to checkout only through December. Go to Backblaze.com/CriticalRole. Get peace of mind. Get your computer backed up. Stop losing your files or prevent yourself from losing files. And we will see you next time. (whistling) (somber music) (dramatic music) (dramatic music) (somber music) <!-- BREAK BEGINS Laura: Hey Critters, Laura Bailey here to guide you through what's new in the Critical Role shop. This holiday season, give the gift of effortless style. The cuteness, it's overpowering. Go ahead, darling, treat yourself. Aw, they're so mini. (growling) Oh, so comfy cozy. These holidays, you know, they're just around the corner. Style should be a dump stat, darling. This is, this is a lot of stuff, you guys. We have, like, so many cool things right now. And hey, if you want, you could head over to the Critical Role shop right now. (ominous music) (unlocking) ♪ Upon a sea that's tossed and gray ♪ ♪ We fight to keep the dreams at bay ♪ ♪ For in our sleep we hope for peace ♪ ♪ Lest the nightmares have their way ♪ ♪ Uk'otoa, Uk'otoa ♪ ♪ Keep him locked away ♪ ♪ Chilling thoughts and watchful eyes ♪ ♪ Await for those who seek the prize ♪ ♪ But all is not as it was thought ♪ ♪ For the serpent always lies ♪ ♪ Uk'otoa, Uk'otoa ♪ ♪ Keep him locked away ♪ ♪ And if the creature is released ♪ ♪ Our peaceful days will surely cease ♪ ♪ The winds will wail, as waves assail ♪ ♪ To herald what lurks beneath ♪ ♪ Uk'otoa, Uk'otoa ♪ ♪ Keep him locked away ♪ ♪ A haunted fog comes rolling through ♪ ♪ The sea begins to toss and strew ♪ ♪ With cutlass and cannon we make a stand ♪ ♪ Though little might it do ♪ ♪ Uk'otoa, Uk'otoa ♪ ♪ Keep him locked away ♪ ♪ As the serpent rises tall ♪ ♪ His many eyes now seeing all ♪ ♪ The ship won't keep above the deep ♪ ♪ If our steadfast sailors fall ♪ ♪ Uk'otoa, Uk'otoa ♪ ♪ Keep him locked away ♪ ♪ A flick of tongue and sharpened teeth ♪ ♪ Are the only gifts that he'll bequeath ♪ ♪ And those who fought to stay aloft ♪ ♪ Will be swallowed and drowned beneath ♪ ♪ Uk'otoa, Uk'otoa ♪ ♪ Keep him locked away ♪ ♪ So heed the words from sailors old ♪ ♪ Beware the dreams with eyes of gold ♪ ♪ And though he'll speak of quests and powers blessed ♪ ♪ Ignore the lies you're told ♪ ♪ Uk'otoa, Uk'otoa ♪ ♪ Keep him locked away ♪ ♪ Uk'otoa, Uk'otoa ♪ ♪ Keep him locked away ♪ ♪ Uk'otoa, Uk'otoa ♪ ♪ Keep him locked away ♪ ♪ Uk'otoa ♪ ♪ Uk'otoa, Uk'otoa ♪ ♪ Keep him locked away ♪ ♪ Uk'otoa ♪ (lapping waves) (light music) (dramatic music) (whimsical music) (typing) (whimsical music) (uplifting music) (curtains pulling) (uplifting music) Announcer: When the forces of evil threaten Exandria, these heroes are there to answer the call.

TALIESIN: I'm super Scanlan. With my Critical Role Twitch subscription, I can watch all my favorite CR shows before they come out on YouTube. Take that, evil doers.

ASHLEY: Here comes Jester with her Twitch subscription to Critical Role. She can access gnarly emotes and post links in the chat too! Radical! Boosh! Oh, no! Here comes some trolls to jam up our live chat.

TALIESIN: Don't worry, Laudna will stop them with the help of Critical Role's professional moderators. She's spooky, but I like her. Here comes Laudna's friend, Chetney. He has an Amazon Prime membership which gives him one free Twitch subscription of his choice. Of course, he subscribes to Critical Role! It's the power of teamwork. Die, die, die!

TALIESIN: Oo, I'm spooky!

ASHLEY: I cast Agonizing Bolt!

TALIESIN: Scanlan's hand! Stab 'em, Chetney! And look! There's Caleb with the power of introspection and existential dread. (cows mooing) Now that we've defeated all the bad guys, let's gift subscriptions to other users. You can do that by name or randomly. Woo! Taliesin, Ashley! Please, I've told you so many times. Just, don't play with those, okay? They are super fragile, custom made, custom painted. You know what? We have to film in about 30 minutes, so why don't you two just come with me. Come on. (clicking tongue) Aw, it's Major Buzz Kill here to takeaway all our fun. Ah! Is it Thursday yet, bitch? You can certainly die. Whoa, good one. Loot his corpse, take his vest.

ASHLEY: Back stab, oo. Would you please stop that!

ASHLEY: Grog smash!

BREAK ENDS -->

Part II
ANNOUNCER: Subscribe to Critical Role on Twitch and collect all 21 action figures. Alternate forms and familiars not included. (dramatic music) (dramatic music)

MATT: And welcome back. (laughter)

MATT: So. Let's buckle in for this second half here, folks.

ASHLEY: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

MATT: As the ship slowly begins to creep its way in the direction of this flashing battle in the distance, what are your final preparations? I guess for this, since we know where we're going.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

MATT: Let's go ahead and-- (exclaiming)

TRAVIS: It's been under there the whole time!

MARISHA: It's a triangle.

LAURA: Whoa!

LIAM: You didn't see it?

MARISHA: This is cool.

ASHLEY: This is very cool.

MARISHA: I mean, I saw it but I didn't know there was a thing underneath it.

LAURA: Whoa!

LIAM: There was a blue seam.

SAM: A triangle map?

TALIESIN: It actually has the texture.

SAM: But why?

TALIESIN: Oh yeah.

MATT: Drensala Vis.

LAURA: So cool.

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

LAURA: Look at its anchor!

TALIESIN: It's got a dragon on the--

ASHLEY: That anchor is very cool.

MATT: So, whereabouts on this ship do you want to be on the deck when you approach the fight?

TRAVIS: The bow of the ship.

LIAM: ♪ The bow of the ship ♪

MATT: The bow of the ship, you got it.

TRAVIS: Ready to ride. And, because we're at sea, I will be casting every 24 hours religiously the Underwater Breathing on ten individuals.

MATT: You got it. All right. So all of you have Underwater Breathing. So, drowning isn't a concern at this moment.

ASHLEY: Nice.

SAM: Are there cannons on this ship? Do they have people to run them? Do I need to be the powder monkey?

MATT: There are six cannons on each side, and they have a powder monkey set in there, so you're free to do what you want.

SAM: Okay. Okay. Are there any ballista or any other heavy sort of weaponry on there?

MATT: No ballista, just the cannons.

LAURA: As we get close, I'm going to ritual cast Water Walk on us as well, on all of us.

ASHLEY: Ooh!

MATT: Okay, how long does that last?

LAURA: It lasts for an hour.

MATT: For an hour.

TRAVIS: As we get close, you said.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: As you get close. Okay, you got it. Whereabouts on the ship do you want to be, Jester?

LAURA: I'm going to be on the... Yeah, you were going for it. In the back.

MATT: This way? Okay, sure.

LAURA: The bow? The bow.

MATT: That is not the bow.

LAURA: The stern, that's the stern.

MATT: Yes.

LAURA: I'm on the stern.

ASHLEY: I'm going to go right to the front starboard side. Stairs-ish, around there.

MATT: Right there?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: You got it.

LAURA: Oh no, yes. I'm in the aft of the ship.

MATT: All right. Veth, Beau, Caleb?

SAM: Two things.

MATT: Kingsley?

TALIESIN: Starboard.

SAM: One, I will have gone below deck and tried to fashion a quick Fluffernutter out of some black powder stuff.

MATT: You could've gotten the materials, sure. Go ahead and roll an intelligence check for me, if you don't mind.

SAM: That's an eight.

MATT: Okay. (laughs)

SAM: Plus intelligence. Oh, that's 11.

MATT: Okay, so you don't blow yourself up. Roll a dexterity check to see, plus proficiency modifier.

TRAVIS: Can you imagine?

SAM: Plus proficiency, 20.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Very, very clearly.

MATT: It does not detonate in the construction and you manage to piece it together fairly well. It seems like a functional Fluffernutter.

SAM: Great. I will go to the crow's nest, is it called?

MATT: There?

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: You got it.

SAM: Or the front one.

MATT: The front one? Yeah.

TALIESIN: I'll join Jester at the stern.

MATT: Okay. Jester and Kingsley back here.

TALIESIN: Somebody's got to be at the wheel.

MARISHA: I'll join Fjord at the front.

SAM: The front?

LAURA: It's called the bow.

MARISHA: The bow!

ASHLEY: ♪ The bow of the boat ♪

SAM: You wrote that down in your notebook.

TRAVIS: ♪ Bow of the ship ♪

MARISHA: ♪ Headed for a new land ♪

TRAVIS: ♪ In New York ♪ ♪ you can ♪

MATT: If I could--

TRAVIS and MARISHA: ♪ Be a new man ♪

MATT: -- get some superglue here real fast; I punched one of the minis accidentally.

SAM: Superglue, please!

LAURA: Oh no!

MATT: That's okay!

LAURA: The timing!

MATT: I know, it's perfect.

SAM: We need even more superglue.

MATT: Yeah. All right, so you're over here with them.

MARISHA: No, the bow.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I take out my...

MATT: You're taking a nap. (laughter)

MATT: The timing is perfect.

TRAVIS: ♪ Go to sleep, ♪ ♪ You little baby ♪

MATT: Caleb.

TRAVIS: ♪ Go to sleep, you little baby ♪

LIAM: I'll stand back by the tieflings.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: Love that song.

ASHLEY: ♪ (humming) ♪

MATT: Okay.

ALL: ♪ (humming continues) ♪

TRAVIS and MARISHA: ♪ Baby ♪

SAM: Copywritten material!

TALIESIN: Stop it. Stop it.

ASHLEY: That's got to be old enough.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: People-- You never know.

ASHLEY: Whatever.

TALIESIN: Some things are never as old as you think they are.

MATT: The cannons continue to fire.

SAM: Not from our ship, though.

MATT: No.

TRAVIS: Is it just lighting up the clouds?

LAURA: We're not there yet?

MATT: It is.

TRAVIS: Oh god.

TALIESIN: I hate it.

MATT: In one flash of lightning, you see a swell of water towering 30, 40, 50 feet above the ocean, and you see two of these ships vanish beneath the ocean.

LAURA: Oh god.

MATT: Another flash. More of you can see, there's a large, serpentine shape that occasionally crests beyond, looping through the waves. It was here. Now it's over here. Two more of the ships go down, and you watch as lightning strikes in multiple places. The other ship catches fire, the rain beginning to put it out right as the ship breaks in the center and you see a massive, serpentine head emerge from it, and this faint, yellow glow from multiple places at the top before it withdraws back into the ocean.

LAURA: Oh god.

MATT: As the ship pushes closer.

LAURA: (concerned noises) As soon as-- I want to cast Control Weather.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Weather?

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: She's making it even stormier.

LAURA: Yeah, it's going to get crazy! I'm going to try to calm the storm a little bit.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: That's a good idea.

MATT: You are controlling the weather versus a demigod also controlling the weather.

LAURA: Yeah, I get that.

MATT: So we're going to have to roll off for the effect on this.

SAM: Grapple check. Rollies, rollies.

ASHLEY: You're almost a demigod.

LAURA: I've got a lot of power.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SAM: Guidance yourself.

LAURA: I don't know if you know.

ASHLEY: You're a god, basically.

MATT: Okay. So, this is a force of will and focus. I need you to roll a d20 for me and add your spell modifier, which is your wisdom modifier.

SAM: Guidance. Guidance.

LAURA: Thanks.

SAM: Can you Guidance yourself?

LAURA: Natural 20!

SAM: It's a natural 20! Beat that, demigod!

LAURA: Plus my what? Plus my spell modifier?

MATT: Spell modifier.

TALIESIN: And your Guidance.

LAURA: Plus my spell modifier, which is, what do I use? Wisdom?

LIAM: Wisdom, cleric.

LAURA: I know. Plus five is 25. And Guidance?

SAM: I don't know if you can Guidance yourself.

LAURA: You don't also get Guidance.

SAM: I don't know. I didn't Guide you. I can't Guide you.

LAURA: I don't get Guidance on a spell.

TALIESIN: No, you don't.

LAURA: I can't Guide myself on a spell.

MATT: Okay. Just so you're aware, this is a concentration spell.

TRAVIS: So if you cast something else--

TRAVIS: So if you cast anything else concentration, it's going to go away.

LAURA: I know.

MATT: Okay, cool.

LAURA: But for right now, as we get close, it might help us a little bit.

MATT: Okay, so roll a d4. Because it takes 1d4 times 10 minutes for each new condition shift to happen. It's a slow process over time.

LAURA: Oh, but it's within five miles, so could I have done it as we were approaching?

MATT: Sure. Roll a d4 for me.

LAURA: Oh god.

TALIESIN: Oh jeez.

SAM: Jesus.

LAURA: Three.

MATT: Three.

LAURA: So 30 minutes?

MATT: 30 minutes for it to go from... Because this is at a big stage here.

LAURA: Storm.

MATT: Okay, so with this, it begins to slowly subside from an absolute crazed, torrential storm to just--

LAURA: Just a regular--

MATT: Just heavy rain.

SAM: I like that game.

LAURA: I beat Uk'otoa!

TRAVIS: That's better than 30, 50-foot swells.

MARISHA: You did it.

LIAM: Similarly, in the 15 minutes ago or whenever she did that, Caleb brings the pearl up and does Fortune's Favor on himself.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: When it's on the brink, when I think Uk'ie is coming out of the water, I'm going to precast Mirror Image, if you'll allow it.

TRAVIS: Uk'ie.

MATT: Okay, sure.

SAM: Precast.

MATT: Yeah, go for it.

SAM: I would like to cast--

LAURA: Is this a dumb move?

SAM: Okay, I would like to cast a pre-spell as well. I would like to cast Intellect Fortress.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: On Fjord. Fjortress. Intellect Fjortress.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Which gives him advantage on wisdom saves, charisma saves, intelligence saves.

MATT: For up to an hour, okay.

SAM: For up to an hour.

MATT: That's great, so you are also considered concentrating for you and Jester.

TRAVIS: What does that do again?

SAM: Resistance to psychic damage.

TRAVIS: Great.

LAURA: You gave it to me, too?

SAM: No, just to Fjord. Advantage on intelligence, wisdom, and charisma saving throws.

LIAM: Go away.

ASHLEY: Me too.

SAM: Wrong canon. I don't care about you in this one.

MATT: My usual superglue is glued shut.

LAURA: Yes, you do, you love me.

MATT: So I can't use that.

LAURA: We're part of the same detective agency.

MATT: The timing of it all.

SAM: I think we solved the crime.

LAURA: But you don't want me to be part of your camp, which is really sad.

MARISHA: You got putty?

SAM: As soon as I find a role for you--

MATT: I can putty it up, I guess.

SAM: -- in the camp.

LIAM: Putty, putty, putty.

TALIESIN: Yeah, we want her on her feet.

MATT: I want her on her feet, too. I just can't believe I did that. The minute I put my hand down, I was like, fuck.

TRAVIS: Oh boy.

ASHLEY: They're so fragile.

MATT: That's because this one's been broken before through an entire campaign multiple times, and she's jumping around doing dope monk shit all the time.

LIAM: Catches up with your knees.

MATT: There you go. That'll work fine.

MATT: Look at that.

SAM: Looks great!

MATT: Perfect. So. Any other prep before you get within the combat range?

MARISHA: I take out my bag of ball bearings and I dump them on the ship, just to make it interesting.

SAM: For all of us to trip on?

TRAVIS: What the fuck?

MARISHA: I'm joking, I'm joking.

MATT: I was like, cool. The next swell of the wave that comes up, they all (sliding) into the ocean.

TRAVIS: I think as we're tarting to get closer--

MARISHA: My jacks!

TRAVIS: -- Fjord will take out the Star Razor, and say: Galas'var. It booms with that elven light. Then I will also cast Fly on myself and stay at the bow of the ship, but hover above the deck and try and get a little bit of an elevated eye as well to join Veth.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: May I...

MATT: How long do your wings last? Are you using your wings?

ASHLEY: I was not.

MATT: Oh, sorry.

ASHLEY: Those are a minute, but I was going to see, could I--

MATT: Thank you, sorry. (laughs)

ASHLEY: Well, let's see.

MATT: It's fine.

ASHLEY: I would love to let out a large scream, a battle cry, to get everybody ready.

MATT: The battle cry, how long does it last?

SAM: A day.

MATT: I believe it's for the next round?

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: I'd maybe hold that until you're a little closer here.

ASHLEY: Well, of course.

MATT: You still let out a battle cry to get everyone pumped, which I think is awesome.

ASHLEY: "Unleash a battle cry."

MATT: To be fair, the Stormlord in the middle of the storm, you feel his presence, the strength of his eye upon you, and as you yell out into the storm, more lightning strikes in the vicinity, but it seems to be joining your battle cry as the rumble billows around.

ASHLEY: Let's go. Okay. "Once per long rest as a bonus action, you unleash a battle cry and up to 10 other creatures of your choice--"

MATT: All right. Everybody else good?

TRAVIS: Thumbs up if you're good.

LAURA: I'm going to toss the Ioun Stone of Fortitude into the air.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: And everyone turns on their celebones.

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: Oh, yes!

SAM: ♪ (techno beats) ♪

ASHLEY: Oh!

MARISHA: We do have two oops-stones left, too.

LAURA: I've got like 20. I have so many--

MATT: You see one ship--

LAURA: -- farts in a bag.

MATT: -- that has turned and is trying to flee.

TRAVIS: Oh boy.

MATT: About now, a voice pierces all of your minds. "Yes, come. Feed my anger and drink of the deep."

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

MATT: The back of the ship explodes. Bits of wood and shrapnel and debris go flying as a tail cracks the back of the ship off, and immediately it begins to capsize into the water. It vanishes beneath. "These waters have ever been mine. You trespass. You shall be made an example," you hear from no particular location. It's at this moment that you begin to see dark shapes appearing in the water.

SAM: Boxes.

LAURA: Oh gosh. Pulling out a box.

SAM: Ooh. What is that?

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

LAURA: Oh my god, Matt. This is so fucking cool!

ASHLEY: What?!

TALIESIN: Oh no.

SAM: They had these things already made?

TALIESIN: No, no.

LIAM: He had these made special.

TRAVIS: Yo!

ASHLEY: Oh! Look, they're so glossy!

TRAVIS: Get the fuck out of here!

SAM: Whoa! This is a long dude.

LAURA: Uh-oh, uh-oh. Big one.

SAM: Wait, where's the head?

LAURA: It's still underwater. (yelling)

ASHLEY: What?!

TRAVIS: (yells) What the shit?!

LAURA: He's so much scarier at this size than in the Uk'otoa game.

MATT: Well, it's a full-sized one.

SAM: ♪ Keep him locked away ♪

MATT: With that, I need everyone to--

LAURA: Oh my god.

TRAVIS: Ready the cannons!

MATT: -- roll initiative.

ASHLEY: Oh boy!

MARISHA: Oh my god.

SAM: Not great.

MARISHA: ♪ Don't fuck me, Gil ♪

TRAVIS: Get out of here.

MARISHA: Yeah, it's not great. It's not great.

TRAVIS: Natural 20.

SAM: Natural 20!

LAURA and ASHLEY: Yes!

LIAM: You too?

SAM: No no no, for Fjord.

MATT: That's phenomenal.

ASHLEY: Okay, that makes sense.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: Do those things get a turn?

TALIESIN: Probably.

LAURA: Yeah, probably.

TALIESIN: They probably each get to do something crazy.

LAURA: Look, they've all got tentacles coming off of there.

TALIESIN: And eyes.

SAM: ♪ Uk'otoa, Uk'otoa ♪

ASHLEY: Oh my goodness.

MARISHA: ♪ Keep him ♪ ♪ locked away ♪

MATT: Okay, so. 35 to 20. 30 to 25.

TRAVIS: I don't have a plus to my initiative, so it's just a 20.

MATT: Oh, you don't. Okay. So, 25 to 20.

TRAVIS: 20. Oh.

LIAM: You're out in front, Captain.

TRAVIS: All right.

SAM: Tusktooth!

MATT: All right. 20 to 15.

LIAM: 16.

MARISHA: 17.

TALIESIN: 18.

ASHLEY: 17.

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay.

MARISHA: Baby!

ASHLEY: Hey, baby!

SAM: I think Kingsley had 18.

LAURA: Kingsley.

TRAVIS: Yeah. And then Beau and Yasha, with Beau first.

ASHLEY: Yes, Beau first.

LIAM: Yasha.

ASHLEY: Beau, Beau, Beau.

MATT: You got it.

LAURA: Caleb.

MATT: 15 to 10.

SAM: 11.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: Aw.

LAURA: It's okay, I'm the healer. I should be last.

SAM: Yeah, that's actually pretty good.

MATT: Caleb?

LIAM: 16.

MATT: Oh, so you're after Beau and Yasha?

TALIESIN: Beau, Yasha, Caleb.

LIAM: Sechzehn.

TRAVIS: Beau, Yasha, Caleb, Veth, Jester.

SAM: This is actually a really good order.

MARISHA: Yeah, it's not too bad.

MATT: All right.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARISHA and ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

LIAM: Oh boy.

MATT: Well, that being said, the battle begins at Uk'otoa's initiative.

LAURA: Oh no!

ASHLEY: Oh man.

MARISHA: So we have Water Walking, you said?

MATT: You do.

SAM: And breathing.

MATT: Water Breathing and Water Walking, so you can leap onto the water, if you'd like to. The storm is blasting at this point.

LAURA: But it's better than it was!

TALIESIN: That he slows down.

MATT: No, it is, actually. This is going to alter some of the lair actions.

SAM: Ooh!

LAURA: Oh!

MATT: As long as it remains concentrated, it will alter some of the lair actions.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay.

MATT: Because you are on his home turf, in his home ocean.

LAURA: Right, that makes sense.

MATT: So, with that.

SAM: What if his favored terrain is, like, mountains?

MARISHA: He just loves Big Bear.

LIAM: (as Uk'otoa) Just trying to get there.

TALIESIN: It just sucks getting out of the bath.

MATT: Is going to shift--

LIAM: Oh boy.

TALIESIN: Oh, I don't like it.

LAURA: Oh my god. I like--

MATT: -- over to the front here.

LAURA: -- that fake-out as you shifted back and then forward.

MATT: Fjord, as you're there floating, the head emerges and a single eye, the one that's haunted your dreams for so long, is there before you. The massive rows of teeth, the tendrils that wrap around the sides of its head as fin rises.

TRAVIS: There you are, ugly. I expected more.

MATT: "It's only just begun." With that, you see behind him, one of the waves well up as he's going to Tidal Wave across the ship.

TRAVIS and LIAM: (laugh uproariously)

MATT: 250 feet long. Gets the whole ship.

LIAM: We're Water Breathing, right?

TRAVIS: We are.

LAURA: We're Water Breathing.

SAM: Oh god.

MATT: It is--

SAM: Does it wash us off?

MATT: -- 250 feet tall, this wave.

SAM: Oh, I can't even avoid it?

MATT: Nope!

TRAVIS: Some meteor shit.

MATT: Whoosh through.

LIAM: Holy shit.

MATT: Yes.

LIAM: Holy shit!

MATT: I need all of you to make a strength saving throw.

SAM: Strength.

ASHLEY: Did my battle cry go through? Or no.

MATT: The combat's just begun. When it gets to you, there'll be a battle cry.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay.

SAM: Well, not awesome.

LIAM: See you later.

TALIESIN: Strength saving throw?

MATT: Strength saving throw. We'll go around.

TRAVIS: 13.

MATT: 13. You take 45 points of bludgeoning damage--

TRAVIS and MARISHA: (yell)

MATT: -- and you're knocked prone.

ASHLEY: Wait, wait!

TRAVIS: I'm flying.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Prone, flying?

TALIESIN: Shit.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Oh wow. Wow.

ASHLEY: Wait, how much did you just take?

TRAVIS: 45.

LAURA: 45.

ASHLEY: 45.

MATT: Beauregard?

MARISHA: 15.

MATT: 45 points of bludgeoning damage and you're knocked prone.

LIAM: 45 points. Did you fail or save?

TRAVIS: Failed.

MARISHA: I must have failed.

LIAM: You took 45? I'm using Fortune's Favor now.

TRAVIS: 45 is fucking rough.

LIAM: 16.

MATT: 16.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: Rolled a two.

MATT: Take 45 points of bludgeoning damage and you're knocked prone.

ASHLEY: Oh my goodness.

MATT: All right.

SAM: 11.

MATT: 45 points of bludgeoning damage and you're knocked prone.

SAM: Do I rogue anything?

MATT: You take half damage because you-- Oh god. That is the problem with this. There we go, that'll work.

LAURA: You were all the way up there?

SAM: Yeah, but I don't get swept off, I just fall down.

MATT: Correct, but I need you to make a concentration check to see if you don't lose--

TRAVIS: You're just up against a post.

SAM: So I took 22 points of a damage.

MATT: Correct. Constitution saving throw? You have to beat an 11 total.

SAM: Me?

MATT: Yes.

SAM: I rolled a nine.

TALIESIN: Plus.

LAURA: Plus your constitution.

MATT: Plus your constitution save.

SAM: No, no. That's with.

MATT: With that, your Intellect Fortress vanishes, losing concentration at the first blast. The tidal wave claiming the spell.

LAURA: Oh god.

ASHLEY: No!

TRAVIS: Thank you for thinking of me.

MATT: Jester.

LAURA: I failed.

SAM: It will be the last time.

LAURA: I rolled a 14.

MATT: 45 points of bludgeoning damage and you are knocked prone. I need you to make a constitution saving throw.

LAURA: I get advantage because of my War Caster.

MATT: You do.

LAURA: 19.

MATT: That's not enough. 22 is the DC. You lose Control Weather.

MARISHA: 22!

TALIESIN: This is not--

MATT: Well, it's half the damage you take. You take 45. It's a DC of 22.

MARISHA: Oh.

TALIESIN: This is not a magical effect, is it?

LAURA: Oh, it's water right there.

MATT: This is an attack.

TALIESIN: Yep!

MATT: It is "magically creates." So it is a magical effect.

TALIESIN: Do I have advantage against spells and magical effects.

MATT: Do you?

TALIESIN: It says I have advantage against spells and magical effects.

MATT: Then, sure.

TALIESIN: All right. Thank god! Can't be worse, can it?

LIAM: It's not a spell, right?

TALIESIN: 14.

MATT: No. No. 14. No. You take 45 points of bludgeoning damage and you are knocked prone.

TALIESIN: Worth it. Ow!

MATT: All right.

ASHLEY: 26.

MATT: 26. (oohing)

LAURA: Yasha!

MATT: Succeeds! You take only 22 points of bludgeoning damage and you are not knocked prone--

TALIESIN: Only.

MATT: As it washes over--

LAURA: Are you raging already? Did you rage before we hit it?

TALIESIN: Not yet.

ASHLEY: No.

TALIESIN: It's only 11 points of--

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: Both of these crew get washed overboard.

SAM and LAURA: Oh no!

TALIESIN: Well, shit!

MATT: And... The captain actually does okay.

TRAVIS: Hey!

MATT: So the captain--

LAURA: I gave Water Walk to the captain, too. I can do it up to 10 people.

MATT: Got it. That's good to know. Captain holds on, starts shouting out, "What have you gotten us into?"

TRAVIS: (laughs) I like her!

MARISHA: Yeah, she's great.

MATT: That's going to go ahead-- That's Uk'otoa's action. With that--

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: This is going to shift a little bit this way, shift a little bit this way, shift a little bit this way.

LIAM: Oh man!

MATT: Actually, no. This is going to stay here. This is going to actually going to move closer. This is going to move over here.

LIAM: I love it.

MATT: Okay. That's going to end Uk'otoa's turn.

SAM: (whispers) Uk'otoa.

MATT: Fjord, now you're-- Actually, right before your turn, lair action happens.

TALIESIN: Lair action!

TRAVIS: This should be interesting.

MATT: Go ahead and take--

TRAVIS: The ocean is a lair?

MATT: Anger of the Storm.

TRAVIS: No! Come on! Pick a passive titled one.

ASHLEY: (laughs)

SAM: Calming of the breeze.

ASHLEY: No, I don't want it!

MATT: As the wave subsides, the ship blown back. You can see the ship sustains a certain amount of damage from the blast of this, more so than even this tidal wave seemed like it should have. The air begins to slightly electrify and you see, in Uk'otoa's eyes, this fury build up inside and all the eyes across the entire body get a little bit brighter. That's all.

TRAVIS: Oh.

SAM: It's gotten some sort of temporary hit points or something.

TRAVIS: Boy!

MATT: So that ends the lair action. Fjord, you're up, with Kingsley on deck.

SAM: Whoa!

TRAVIS: I'm going to kick off of the deck. My fly speed is 60.

LAURA: Oh my god!

TRAVIS: I'm going to, over my shoulder, shout to the captain, (shouts) Hard to port! Prepare canons! I'm going to fly over the water to that section--

MATT: This right here?

TRAVIS: -- yeah, of the body.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: With Dwueth'var, the Star Razor, glowing I'm going to hack into it.

MATT: Okay. You're aiming for any particular part or just the side of the fish?

TRAVIS: I'm going to strike at the eye that I see right there.

MATT: Okay. You can indeed strike at the eye. Has a little higher AC than you're aiming for, but go for it.

TRAVIS: Yeah, might as well try it. That's a 30 to hit.

MATT: 30 hits.

TRAVIS: 15. And the second strike. That's even higher. That is a 30 again. 16 plus 14. There we go.

MATT: Yeah. There you go.

TRAVIS: Amazing.

MATT: So both hit. Go ahead and roll damage.

TRAVIS: d8. Holy shit! Lots of detail. Sorry. That's a one. That's eight, so that's nine. I should have done Hexblade's Curse. That was stupid. Nine. It's because I'm freaking out!

MATT: That's okay.

TRAVIS: So that's 22 points of slashing damage.

MATT: Okay. You got it.

TRAVIS: With my bonus action, should have done it beforehand, I'll do Hexblade's Curse on Uk'otoa.

MATT: Okay. With that, Uk'otoa to is hexed by his own gifted curse.

ASHLEY: Woo!

MARISHA: (laughs) The poetry!

MATT: This thing a little lower just for the visual there.

LIAM: That miniature is so beautiful!

MATT: Isn't it great? Iron Tusk.

TRAVIS: It's absolutely staggering.

MATT: Ian did such a great job.

ASHLEY: Ian's great.

MATT: All right. Does that finish your turn?

TRAVIS: (wails) Yes.

MATT: Okay. As the hex takes in, you can see the shadows clinging to it. Uk'otoa glances back, and you hear the voice in your head, directly. "You used my own power against me. Why can I not rob it from you?" All right.

TRAVIS: (laughs) Because daddy got a tattoo.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah!

TRAVIS: Daddy got a tattoo.

MARISHA: Daddy had a midlife crisis.

MATT: At the end of your turn, it's going to use a legendary action to slam you because you are in melee with one of its body parts.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah!

MATT: The body, its arcing head out of the water, reaches out and slams into the side as the whole thing slithers through. That is going to be 24 to hit.

TRAVIS: That definitely hits, but I'm going to use my Armor of Hexes, since he's cursed with Hexblade's Curse. If I roll a four or higher on a d6... He won. He hits. (laughs)

MATT: Okay. Good looking out.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: Good looking out.

TRAVIS: Damn it!

MATT: Oh, that's the wrong dice. Sorry. So here it is. Oh, that's not a great roll. 19 points of bludgeoning damage.

TRAVIS: I thought you said it was not a good roll.

MATT: Yeah. Plus... Five points of acid damage.

TRAVIS: Oh! (concerned) Oh!

MATT: I need you to make a strength saving throw for me.

TRAVIS: Okay.

TALIESIN: (whistles)

SAM: Come on, Fjord!

TRAVIS: 15.

MATT: 15. The tentacle that emerges from the side, after you get slammed wraps around and you are grappled by the side of that right now.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Cool, let's go.

SAM: It's okay.

MATT: I'll find it in a second. Anyway, that finishes your turn. Kingsley, you're up.

TALIESIN: Well, I suppose I'm going to have to stand up, which is terrible.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: Somebody polymorph this thing into a puppy! (laughter)

MARISHA: Oh my god, yes!

LIAM: This guy's got a wis plus. A wisdom plus of 30.

MATT: You stand up? All right.

TALIESIN: I'm going to start making my way down to the bow--

SAM and MARISHA: ♪ Makin' my way ♪

TALIESIN: -- so I can eventually get close enough to hit something.

MATT: Now here, you're going to half your movement, which would be 15... 12?

TALIESIN: 35. So yeah.

MATT: Yeah. With that, you could get up and then move out here. Technically, this is in melee. I was putting that up against the actual side of the ship, there.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: If you want to try and strike the tail, you can.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm going to activate the Blood Maledict for fire. I'm going to get my-- So new sword, new rules. Let's see what happens. I don't have advantage against this thing, so let's just see what happens. I'm taking my attack with my new sword.

MATT: Go for it.

TALIESIN: That would be 22 to hit?

MATT: 22 hits.

TALIESIN: That's good to know.

MATT: Beau, you're on deck.

TALIESIN: I'll take my sneak attack, too. Fuck it.

MATT: Yeah, because, currently, that part of its body is not next to anybody.

TALIESIN: Oh, and another d8 for fire attack. Yeah, I'll call it. Then I'm going to reroll this one because I can. There we go. That's six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11. It's 20 points of piercing damage and six points of fire damage.

MATT: Great! 26 in that first strike.

TALIESIN: I'm going to go for another one.

MATT: Do it! Second strike!

TALIESIN: That's 23 to hit.

MATT: That hits! Roll damage a second time.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: Minus the sneak attack.

TALIESIN: Yes. Minus the sneak attack. That's (counting) That's 12 points of normal damage and six points of fire damage.

MATT: Right, so 18 on the second strike.

TALIESIN: Just taking the edge off that little fucking tail.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: Does the fire look like it's doing anything when you strike?

MATT: The fire looks like it's definitely burning into it. Yes.

TALIESIN: I'm going to-- I should have done this at first, but I'll do it--

MATT: You can do it on the first strike, if you want to.

TALIESIN: Oh, Brand of Castigation.

MATT: I figured that was coming. Okay. So we'll consider you have now burned on another ring, a brand into the body. As you strike the tail and carve across as it whips back, you see across the scaled flesh of Uk'otoa, beneath the slick ocean water this sigil that burns brightly into it. As it does, it is currently branded, which means the second strike, technically, you've gotten additional rite damage, if you want to roll that.

TALIESIN: Oh, yes! I'll take that extra. That's another eight points of fire damage.

MATT: Great!

TALIESIN: (laughs)

MATT: All right. So that's technically 26 and 26. All right. So does that finish your turn?

TALIESIN: That's a lot. That's everything I can do.

MATT: All right, finishing Kingsley's go. Beau, you're up, with Yasha on deck.

MARISHA: All right, I'm going to get up.

TRAVIS: Let's go!

MARISHA: I'm going to Naruto run across the top of this spiky beam going out. Naruto run across the top of this spiky beam going out.

MATT: You got it.

LIAM: Go home and watch Naruto.

MARISHA and TALIESIN: (laugh)

MATT: Putting this on here because I'm going to need this for all the dope monk shit that you're attempting.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MARISHA: I'm going to run, I'm going to Superman punch, I'm going to fly. I'm going to go like I'm getting on him!

LIAM: Yes.

MATT: You're getting on him?

MARISHA: Yeah!

MATT: Okay!

ASHLEY: Yeah!

MATT: With that.

LIAM: Ride the titan.

SAM: Oh boy.

MATT: Leaping onto Uk'otoa's body.

MARISHA: Yes, pretty bad idea.

MATT: It's large enough and right there. I won't even have to make you roll for it. You just.

MARISHA: I'm going to take out my staff. I'm going to crack it into place. I'm going to whack down. I'm going to try and aim for his stupid glowing eyeball for this first hit.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Ew! Yucky!

MATT: You're going straight for the eyeball? Meaning, the eyeballs are specific. They have a higher AC.

MARISHA: The eyeballs are specific. I'll crack down on top of his head for this one. 20 total to hit?

MATT: 20 misses the eye.

TRAVIS: Oh boy.

MARISHA: No, no. Just cracking down on his head.

MATT: Oh, just cracking down? Then, it does hit.

MARISHA: Okay. So 20--

MATT: I should also note, Kingsley, when you finished your turn, slicing twice into this and burning it into it, you did a sizable wound in one round to it. The eyes, across the entire body flare slightly brighter.

SAM: (whispers) What does that mean?

TRAVIS: Oh, it's charging up for something.

MARISHA: Stunning Strike for this first one. There's probably no way in hell I'm going to be able to stun this thing, but--

TALIESIN: Maybe fire damage is not the thing.

MATT: It's immune to stun.

MARISHA: It's immune to stun.

MATT: Creature of this legendary status, unfortunately.

MARISHA: That tracks. That tracks. Okay.

TRAVIS: Ever stunned a titan before?

MARISHA: Yeah. That tracks.

TRAVIS: It's my first time. (laughs)

MARISHA: I'm going to spin the staff back around and crack down. Oh wait! I haven't rolled for damage. Sure. 10 damage.

MATT: 10 damage. Got it.

MARISHA: Then for the--

TRAVIS: Doing good, doing good.

MARISHA: -- second, just staff attack, 21 to hit. No.

MATT: 21?

MARISHA: 24 to hit. I'm sorry.

MATT: 24. Standard hit? Hits.

TRAVIS: Let's go!

MARISHA: Standard hit.

TRAVIS: I love how quiet-- Everyone's so deep in their sheets.

MARISHA: 13 damage.

MATT: 13 damage. Extracting Aspects at all, or--?

MARISHA: Yes, I am. But I have to hit with of Flurry of Blows.

MATT: That's right. Never mind.

MARISHA: But spend a ki point.

MATT: Right.

MARISHA: Flurry of Blows. Pop pop! One's a natural 18 and the other is an eight, bringing it to a 21 to hit because I'm using my--

MATT: Both hit.

MARISHA: Yeah. My quarterstaff.

TRAVIS: That was just regular body, right? Yeah.

MARISHA: Regular body just because I want to extract those aspects to start.

SAM: Extract that ass.

MARISHA: Extract that ass. ♪ I see you, baby ♪

LIAM and MARISHA: ♪ Extracting that ass ♪

MARISHA: 13 damage for one, and then I rolled up one on the other, which sucks. So eight damage.

MATT: Eight damage. Great.

MARISHA: Extract Aspects!

MATT: Okay. Extract Aspects. Resistant to bludgeoning, slashing, and piercing from non-magical attacks. Immune to acid and poison damage. It is also immune to being charmed, exhausted, grappled, paralyzed, petrified, poisoned, prone, restrained, or stunned.

TRAVIS: Don't try and charm it. Whoa!

MARISHA: Okay, okay. That was a big list.

TRAVIS: Does it also get 50% off?

MARISHA: Charmed, grapple...

MATT: Paralyzed.

MARISHA: Paralyzed.

MATT: Petrified.

MARISHA: Petrified.

MATT: Prone, restrained, or stunned.

MARISHA: Prone, restrained, or stunned. But nothing--

MATT: Too big to restrain, too big to really grapple. There's a lot of--

MARISHA: Nothing elemental?

TRAVIS: Food allergies?

MATT: No elementals that it's resistant to or vulnerable to or anything like that. This thing's free reign when it comes to elemental damage.

MARISHA: Okay. I'm going to shout out to everybody, whoever can hear me over the storm. Not sensing any elemental vulnerabilities.

SAM: What about psychic?

MARISHA: I didn't--

MATT: Nothing psychic.

MARISHA: Don't feel psychic! Think you're good.

TRAVIS: Of course you're not psychic!

MARISHA: But avoid literally everything else.

SAM: Cool, cool, cool.

MARISHA: Then, and then, and then-- I'm holding on!

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: You're just up on his fucking head!

MARISHA: I just wrapped my--

TRAVIS: PBR style?

MARISHA: Yes! I'm just-- (laughter)

TRAVIS: Eight seconds! Eight seconds!

MARISHA: (shouts)

MATT: (laughs) Great. Ends your turn?

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: End of your turn. Going to hit another legendary action. First I--

MARISHA: So its eyes have a higher AC.

MATT: So as you pull away, it's going to use a secondary legendary action to try and-- No, it's going to hold on, actually. Yeah, it's going to hold a legendary action.

LIAM: It's immune to regular weapons.

TRAVIS: But why, Matthew?

MATT: Why not? Yasha, you're up, with Caleb on deck.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

ASHLEY: All right. Is it okay if I don't do the battle cry? Because now that we're in battle, I was just going to--

MATT: Yeah, and if you wanted to put your wings out as part of the preparation before this happened, if you want to, I would allow that. You guys had a moment to prepare, so up to you.

ASHLEY: Okay. I'm going to wait to do that, actually. So I would like to rage.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: (Grog noises)

ASHLEY: Let's get it out!

MARISHA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: (growls) I am going to leap off the boat.

MATT: Onto the water?

ASHLEY: Onto the water. And--

MATT: Splash onto it.

TRAVIS: That's a bad bitch.

ASHLEY: I am going to take an attack on one of the eyes right in front of me.

MATT: Over here?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: Okay. So you rush into it. Go ahead and make an attack against the nearest eye. It's slithering through the water.

ASHLEY: Okay. (sighs) 20.

MATT: 20 misses, unfortunately.

LAURA: 20 misses?

MARISHA: For his eyeball.

MATT: You swing--

TRAVIS: It hits the body, misses the eyes.

ASHLEY: All right. I'll take another one.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: This is where the battle cry--

ASHLEY: Oh, that's even worse!

MARISHA: Go for the eyes.

LAURA: Doesn't hit.

MATT: No. (whooshes) Both go wide. (sighs) You're frustrated here, standing on the ocean, feeling the water move beneath your feet as you're keeping your brain. You're not used to fighting on water, especially in the middle of a storm like this. As you are, it's definitely making it a little hard to fight. And both weapons go wide.

TRAVIS: Can you go reckless?

MATT: You can, next round.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: Does that finish your turn?

ASHLEY: Ugh! Yes. Yes.

LAURA: Boy, oh boy!

MATT: Finishing your turn, Yasha, now it's going to use a legendary action to attempt to slam you with the side of that body.

ASHLEY: (sighs) I have to pee.

MATT: Oof, that is going to be 16 to hit. Does that hit you?

ASHLEY: No!

MATT: No. Yeah, it rolled a natural two. So it tries to slither past you and the tendrils whip out to try and grab towards you, and now you're starting to get your sea legs a bit and you dart out of the way and parry it off to the side and it doesn't impact you. All right. Does that finish your turn?

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: All right. With that, it is now Caleb's go, with Veth on deck.

LIAM: Okay. Prone on the ground, I reach out really quick and lay my hand on Jester's arm and say: Oh, just like old times, ja? Be safe! I push myself to standing and I chug this potion real quick.

MATT: You got it.

LIAM: That's where we're starting as a bonus action. Two, four. Seven, 11, 12, 13, 15, 16, 17, 18 plus eight is 26. So I'm getting 26 back. Let me do that before I do the next thing.

TRAVIS: Man, oh man!

SAM: Man, oh man.

LIAM: Okay. Then, the next thing I do is hit the boots, blast up into the sky, and you see three Calebs shooting up past the mast and I'll fly to here. Just when I hit here, massive blue dragon appears in the sky.

ALL: Ooh!

MATT: Shit.

LIAM: Adult, 40 feet, looks reminiscent of-- Oh, what is it, what is it, what is it?

SAM: The guy that we ran--

TRAVIS: Brimscythe?

LIAM: Yes. No. Thelischas. Thelischas from the Happy Fun Ball.

ALL: Oh!

LIAM: Only bigger than Thelischas was.

LAURA: Oh shit!

TRAVIS: Let's go!

LIAM: You guys might have seen Caleb's been carrying this silver rod at his waist, like it's a light saber, almost, with green lines traced all through it. That right now is pierced through, like a piercing above the eyebrow, jutting out as one item that has not vanished into the form. And that's it, right? Because it was my action to do that.

MATT: Correct.

TRAVIS: Damn!

LIAM: So I shape-shifted into a blue dragon.

TRAVIS: Oh, you are the blue dragon?

LIAM: I'm the blue dragon.

TRAVIS: (excited noise)

TALIESIN: Oh shit!

LIAM: And that's it.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LIAM: I'll actually go 10 feet higher than that, if I can.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Or we can just pretend I'm 10 feet higher.

MATT: I can do it.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: I'll find it. Hold on.

TALIESIN: Oh my god!

MATT: Hold on. Things are--

SAM: We got dragons in here!

LAURA: We got dragons!

MARISHA: We got dragons!

SAM: Oh no! The one thing blue dragons are afraid of is rain.

LIAM: You hear this deep bassy voice say: Incoming! We are the Mighty Nein!

TRAVIS: Willkommen!

LIAM: And I (squawks) (laughter)

MATT: There we go.

SAM: This is the weirdest Godzilla movie ever. (laughter)

TRAVIS: I'm here for it!

MATT: That's amazing! All righty.

TRAVIS: I'm here for it!

MATT: That finishes your go, Caleb. With that, it is Veth's go, with Jester on deck.

SAM: I really want to hit these eyes so I think I'm going to keep trying until this happens. So I'm going to--

MATT: Get back up on your feet?

SAM: I don't think I need to, do I?

MATT: It's up to you. You can stay there, if you want. You can just stay down.

SAM: Yeah, like in a sniper position.

TRAVIS: Yeah, just roll over--

MATT: Sure.

SAM: Sure, I'll Voltaic Bolt bonus action. Then I will fire at the eye of the main dude there.

MATT: All right.

SAM: Natural 20. (cheering)

TRAVIS: Yo!

TALIESIN: Oh, that's going to be a lot of pain.

MATT: That's going to be nasty.

TRAVIS: Yo!

SAM: I double the dice. I double the sneak attack dice. I don't double the Voltaic Bolt dice?

MATT: You double all the dice.

LAURA: You double all the dice.

SAM: All the dice.

MARISHA: All the dice. All the dice.

LIAM: All the dice!

SAM: (excited chuckle)

MARISHA: Come on, baby! Big money, no whammies!

LAURA: Oh!

SAM: There's some good ones, there's some good ones.

TRAVIS: That was some between heartbeats American Sniper shit.

LIAM: Come on, you bad bitch! Let's go!

TRAVIS: (heart beating slowly)

SAM: Oh god, oh god. I can't do this. I can't do this.

LIAM: Add up normally and double it.

SAM: 20.

LIAM: Yeah, yeah.

SAM: Okay, okay. 30, 35, 36, 37 plus seven is 44.

MATT: Well, you double it before--

SAM: 37 doubled is 74 plus seven is 81.

MATT: 81 points!

TRAVIS: Damn! (cheering) 81!

LAURA: On your first attack.

SAM: I only get one.

MATT: It strikes the center of the eye. The severe pain. You watch, first off, all the other eyes swell a little brighter, but then as the eye that you struck bleeds, they dim slightly.

LAURA: (gasps) Okay, okay. That's good.

LIAM: (gruffly) Wilde out! (laughter)

SAM: This is the security cannon, so because I rolled a 20, I do not get a second attack.

LAURA: Oh, bummer.

SAM: That was with my other crossbow.

MATT: Correct.

LAURA: I thought it was--

SAM: I used my bonus, I used my action, that's it.

MATT: All right. And you just stay down.

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: You just shot Uk'otoa in the middle eye. The head rears back and you hear this hissing sound, this (gurgling hiss) in pain and then in all of your heads, you hear (angry roaring).

TRAVIS: What the fuck?

MATT: All right. Does that finish your turn?

SAM: Yes!

TALIESIN: Oh boy.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: I'll take a sip of sherry. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Oh shit!

MATT: All righty. At the end of-- No, Jester, you take your turn.

LAURA: Oh god. Okay, I'm going to stand up. I'm going to look up at the sky and then I'm going to look over at Fjord, and I'm going to say: Wildmother, if there was ever a time that Fjord needed you, it's right now. I'm going to put my hand up to the sky and I'm going to cast Dawn.

MATT: Dawn, okay.

SAM: Dawn.

LAURA: Hopefully, a little section of the clouds will part and a cylinder of radiant dawn daylight will come down.

SAM: In the shape of a dong.

LAURA: In the shape of just a giant penis.

TALIESIN: It's a cylinder.

MATT: Okay, a 30-foot radius.

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: It's just a cylinder.

TRAVIS: Oh sunlight, that's not what I was interested in.

LAURA: I would like for it to be a 30-foot radius here, but without hitting Fjord. Can it just hit the serpent without hitting Fjord?

SAM: Oh, the one that's in front of--

LAURA: Yeah, in front of Fjord.

TRAVIS: Did you split the other two sections over here?

LAURA: Well, you know what? It's a 60-foot radius, So I don't think I could get all the way that far, honestly.

MATT: It's a 60-foot radius?

LAURA: I mean a 60-foot distance.

MATT: Gotcha.

LAURA: It's a 30-foot radius, so I can probably get the one in front of me. Let's go with the tail.

TRAVIS: Oh, it's a 60-foot radius from you?

LAURA: 60-foot distance, 30-foot radius.

TRAVIS: Got it.

MATT: I'll say it's about 10 or so feet outside of this radius. So about 60 feet from where you're standing.

LAURA: It could probably-- I think I'd go for the tail in front of us.

MATT: Be about there. So the tail here?

LAURA: Yeah, because I can't hit two of them, can I? Unless I can get-- No, because I'll get Fjord.

MATT: Yeah. So on the tail there, you (magical light plummets down) The bit of the storm peers open and (angelic voices) light shines down from it into that area.

TRAVIS: And angels sing!

MATT: Constitution saving throw on that point.

LAURA: Wildmother.

MATT: It's going to be--

LIAM: Mimosas for everybody!

TALIESIN: That's my guess right there.

MATT: 19.

LAURA: That's my DC.

MATT: Okay, so it does make it.

LAURA: Okay, so it takes half damage.

MATT: Yeah, half radiant damage.

TALIESIN: And then-- No, nothing I can do about that.

TRAVIS: Boil.

TALIESIN: There's some weird shit I can do, and that's not one of them.

SAM: ♪ Oh, how deep does it go ♪

ASHLEY: Oh!

LAURA: What?

ASHLEY: Who's this?

MARISHA: Oh, that's him.

SAM: Did you leave and come back?

LIAM: (deeply) Hi.

ASHLEY: Got it. I did.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah.

SAM: That's Caleb.

MATT: Yeah, Caleb became a dragon.

TALIESIN: Caleb the dragon.

MARISHA: Caleb's a dragon.

TRAVIS: Who's this?

ASHLEY: I didn't want to pee in the water.

MARISHA: Dragleb, there we go.

LAURA: Six, 13 plus six is--

LIAM: I like it.

MARISHA: Yeah, fun?

LIAM: That's what he does at night.

MARISHA: So that's what I was going to say, yeah.

LAURA: 19 plus three is 22. Halved.

MATT: 22. So halve that to 11. All right, got it. So it burns and singes the part of the tail there.

LAURA: It is what it is.

MATT: But you can move it as a bonus action every turn.

LAURA: Yes, I can.

SAM: Oh, it stays up?

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: Oh, that's great.

MATT: So are you going to stay put or do you want to move somewhere?

LAURA: I guess I will, you know, move to the middle of the ship, go down the stairs, I guess, and move to the port side.

MATT: You got up, so you lost half your movement, so you would be partway down the stairs to get there. That's about as far as you can get this round.

TALIESIN: Uk'otoa's on the starboard.

LAURA: Okay, I know what I'm doing.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Hey, DM, quick question.

MATT: Yes.

LIAM: Mirror Image is not a concentration spell, so I would think, there's nothing in the verbiage that would say that it's dropped that I've changed shape?

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: So there'd be three dragons right now?

MATT: Sure.

LIAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

LIAM: I mean, they're illusions. But, okay.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: I love it.

MATT: At the end of your turn, Jester, it's going to use its third and final legendary action. The tail is going to whip out towards you who struck it extremely hard last round. That will put the tail strike at 17 to hit.

TALIESIN: It does not.

MATT: Rolled really low.

TALIESIN: It also... takes some damage for that.

MATT: Rolled a three.

TALIESIN: Yeah, it takes six psychic damage for even trying to hit me.

MATT: Six psychic damage?

LAURA: Where's everybody at? Health-wise?

MATT: Boom!

LAURA: Everybody's okay so far.

TALIESIN: Yeah, we're all fucked, but.

MATT: All right, that ends the round. It comes back to Uk'otoa's turn. Legendary actions restored.

MARISHA: Is Uk'otoa first?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: Uk'otoa's first. So with this leg, or this tail, it's going to shift away. These parts are going to move over.

LAURA: Straighten out.

MATT: This, he's going to shift this direction.

LAURA: Are you holding on to it?

SAM: He was grappled with you.

LAURA: Oh, he was holding onto you.

MATT: This one's going to try and move away. Yasha, you do get an attack of opportunity against it.

ASHLEY: Yes!

MATT: As it begins to suck you into the ocean.

ASHLEY: All right, all right.

SAM: Sentinel!

ASHLEY: That would be 21.

MATT: 21 hits!

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: So that part, as you strike it, it seems to stop in mid-movement, the pain of the impact causing it to not entirely pull away.

MARISHA: Yes!

ASHLEY: 17 points of damage.

MATT: 17, you got it. All right.

ASHLEY: Does it also do the fire damage? Scaldsaber.

MATT: It would, every time you damage.

ASHLEY: Every time. An extra four points.

MATT: Right, so 21 total.

ASHLEY: Of fire damage.

MATT: You got it, okay, and with that, the head is going to also slither over this way, in the direction of where Fjord is currently grappled. However, it is going to use its multiattack. It's going to take a bite, a tail, and a slam attack in its round. Oh, actually, let me roll to see if it gets its-- It does get its Tidal Wave back, but it's going to hold onto it.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Yay.

TRAVIS: What a sentence.

TRAVIS, MARISHA, and LIAM: It does get its Tidal Wave.

MATT: Sorry, I got excited. But it's going to right now unleash a barrage of attacks. A bite attack against Jester, sorry, not Jester, bite attack against Beau, a tail attack.

MARISHA: I know, even though I'm on it?

MATT: Well, it's going to try and buck you off to try and bite you. The attack is going to see if it can do so, and knock you in the air and then (crunching).

MARISHA: That's fair.

LIAM: I always imagine a cat with a piece of tape on its head.

MATT: Actually, to that point, this tail's going to move over to where Yasha is and get in that space and wants to get all three. So a tail attack against Yasha, a slam attack against Fjord, who's now grappled, and then a bite attack against Beau. So we're going to start with a bite attack against Beau. That's going to be, ooh, 32.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

TALIESIN: Meh.

SAM: Meets it, beats it!

MATT: Okay, so for that you take--

SAM: Oh my god, it's a big creature.

LAURA: Everything is getting so far away and I can't--

MATT: 30 points of piercing damage plus 11 points of poison damage.

MARISHA: I'm immune to poison.

MATT: So you do not take that, just the original one, and I need you to make a dexterity saving throw.

SAM: You're good at those, right?

MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: You're dope.

MARISHA: Natural 20.

LAURA: Nice.

SAM, TRAVIS, and LIAM: Ooh!

MATT: As it knocks you into the air, your arm up, and you see below you the jaw just open up.

MARISHA: Nope, nope, nope!

MATT: Right as it comes down, how do you stop it from swallowing you?

MARISHA: I do-- I start to twist my body in the air, and do a full barrel roll to try and throw my body weight out from it.

MATT: It snaps just by you as you knock off the side, you feel the impact of the teeth, the wind extruded from it, blowing your hair back a little bit as you can catch back onto its head. The slam attack against you, Fjord. That is going to be a 28 to hit.

TRAVIS: Oh, yeah. (laughs) That hit my descendants.

MATT and TALIESIN: (laugh)

MATT: Take 21 points of bludgeoning damage.

TRAVIS: Woo!

SAM: Oof.

MATT: Plus 13 points of acid damage.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: You just remain grappled at that point.

TRAVIS: Because he hit me, the ♪ Star Razor does a little pulse ♪ and you take--

MATT: Now do you still get your Shadow Armor, or whatever it is?

TRAVIS: Oh, only on a reaction, so once per turn.

MATT: Got it.

TRAVIS: d12. Yeah, suck on nine points of radiant damage for hitting me!

MARISHA: Slick!

MATT: Slick, that's great.

TRAVIS: I should've done--

MATT: Then Yasha, as you strike the one tail, or the side of the body and hold it in place, it slows down, you hear, carving through the water behind you, the tail, swoops over to try and strike you in retaliation. That's going to be a 23 to hit.

ASHLEY: Uh-huh.

MATT: All right, the tail cracks down onto you for--

ASHLEY: Raging, so.

MATT: You are. Which is probably a good thing. What would've been 30 points of bludgeoning damage was reduced to 15.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: Do any of these count--

MATT: But you do take nine points of acid damage as well.

ASHLEY: Okay, so 11 and nine, did you say?

MATT: Nine points of acid, and I thought it was like--

ASHLEY: 15?

MATT: 15 points of bludgeoning damage.

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: Would any of these count as--

MATT: You are pushed 15 feet down into the water. It bats you into the ocean.

TALIESIN: You're just going to pop back up.

ASHLEY: Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: The spell will bring you back up.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: That's going to finish Uk'otoa's turn.

MARISHA: Matt, would any of those count as the creature making an attack against another target other than me, to do a Sentinel attack? Or because it's all segmented, not really?

MATT: I will say for this, the Sentinel requires it to be the creature that you're on, because it is technically the same creature scattered about, the Sentinel is more like when it's distracted from you at the moment, so technically, that would not count.

MARISHA: Okay, copy that.

MATT: But if you're on the head and the head attacks somebody else, then it would definitely trigger.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: But good looking out! Finishing that, we now come back to the lair actions.

TALIESIN: Oh good.

SAM: Yay.

MATT: We're going to do Battering Winds for this one.

SAM: Sure.

TRAVIS: Oh no.

TALIESIN: I love it.

MATT: All the winds get stronger and stronger around, and you feel all the non-water terrain is considered difficult terrain right now. So it takes twice the movement to move through the air or above water. Swimming is the only normal terrain at the moment.

SAM: We can't swim because we all have Water Walking.

MATT: Yes, all creatures that are not in the water must make a DC, I'll tell you in a second, strength saving throw, 17.

LAURA: You can choose to walk on water, you don't have to walk on water.

MATT: That's true. You can go under if you want to.

TRAVIS: Okay.

SAM: Not me!

TRAVIS: Strength saving throws.

SAM: I don't like to be wet!

MATT: For everybody but Yasha.

MARISHA: Raining a lot. Oh, wait, we all have to make--

TRAVIS: 22.

MATT: Yeah, you're fine.

MARISHA: Strength saving throw, you said?

MATT: Yep.

MARISHA: 19.

MATT: 19, you're fine.

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: 19.

MATT: 19, you're fine.

SAM: Five.

MATT: Five, you're already prone. It doesn't even affect you.

SAM: Oh!

TRAVIS, SAM, and LIAM: (laugh)

LAURA: 10.

MATT: 10, you get knocked prone under the stairs.

SAM: Oh no, you're going to fall down the stairs.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: Which is what happens at the bottom.

LAURA: Oww!

TALIESIN: 22.

MATT: 22, you're fine and you don't have to worry about it.

LAURA: Fjord, help me. I fell down the stairs!

MATT: Flying creatures--

SAM: I'm grappled by a monster. I'll be right there.

MATT: Yeah, because you made the save, you're fine. All right, cool, that finishes the lair action, now we come to Kingsley, with Beau on deck.

TALIESIN: Oh, I thought, didn't--

MARISHA: Fjord?

MATT: Sorry, Fjord at top, sorry, Fjord then Kingsley.

TRAVIS: Yeah, still grappled.

MATT: You are.

TRAVIS: I am going to use the Relentless Hex and teleport 30 feet to the section that's closest to you, breaking the grapple.

MATT: Here?

TRAVIS: Yeah, straight back.

MATT: Indeed. All right.

TRAVIS: I will be on this side of that section.

MATT: This side, here?

TRAVIS: Yeah, you can come back towards me a little bit more, a little bit more, a little bit more, a little bit more. Five, 10, 15, 20.

MATT: 25, 30.

TRAVIS: Great, perfect.

MATT: That's where you can get

TRAVIS: I'll turn and lining up those two sections, you see Fjord flip the sword and he waves his hand, and all of a sudden the rain that's in the air starts to frost up and he will fire a Cone of Cold across both of those sections of Uk'otoa.

MATT: Oh shit.

LAURA: Nice.

MATT: That's a 60-foot cone, right?

TRAVIS: 60-foot.

MARISHA: Nice.

TALIESIN: Nice.

MATT: Now this is an interesting instance where multiple parts of the body can be damaged with AoE elements. So that is a-- What save, constitution?

TRAVIS: Yes, con 19.

MATT: Con 19.

SAM: Is it all coming from the one pool of hit points or do they, each body part--

LAURA: I don't know!

SAM: -- have its own pool of hit points.

MATT: You don't know.

LAURA: You don't know!

SAM: I'm a rules nerd!

MATT: So it rolled super low, but it's still got a 17.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah, so it doesn't save.

MATT: Okay, it does not save.

TRAVIS: So that's 46 points of cold damage to both sections.

MATT: That is 94, 92 points of cold damage.

MARISHA: From you?

LAURA: He's weak to cold?

TRAVIS: That's why I lined up both sections with the Cone of Cold, so it hit both parts, so it does double.

SAM: So it doubles the damage!

LAURA: He failed to save on both of them?

MATT: He rolled really low.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Like, he has a crazy high constitution. You know what, he's going to legendary action.

SAM: To get half damage?

MATT: Yeah, that's still 46 points of cold damage to him.

SAM: Legendary Resistance?

MATT: Correct, Legendary Resistance.

SAM: How many of those does he have?

MATT: It's the first one he's used.

TALIESIN: One less.

MATT: Interesting point to note here.

TRAVIS: Yeah?

MATT: The ocean water around those parts of the body freeze up and now there's these icy collections in the water around it. You watch as the ocean water around that area, the rest of Uk'otoa is trying to shake it off right now. Yeah, we're going to just, it's adjusted something on the battlefield. So does that finish your turn?

TALIESIN: Oh yeah, that's clever.

TRAVIS: Yes, that finishes my turn.

MARISHA: Debilitating Barrage for anybody.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

SAM: What's that mean?

MARISHA: That's what I did with him where he--

MATT: Finishing Fjord's turn, Kingsley, you're up, with Beau on deck.

MARISHA: -- it gets double damage--

TALIESIN: I'm up?

MATT: You only get that once on the creature, though.

MARISHA: I do only get it once.

TALIESIN: So there's a giant pillar of light that I am smart enough not to crawl into there.

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: All right, and I'm at half speed?

MATT: Currently, yes.

TALIESIN: Shit, fuck, piss, bugger. Okay, I'm going to take my 35 by burning dash, I don't know what else to do right now.

MATT: That's okay. The DCs on the lair actions would be higher, but because you changed the weather, they're actually lower than they were.

LAURA: Oh, that's right, it takes a while.

MATT: It takes a while for it to change back.

LAURA: Oh good, so it did do something.

MATT: It did.

LAURA: Okay. I was like, what a waste of a fucking 8th-level--

MATT: No, no, it kind of drastic-- It reduced the DCs by, like, five.

LAURA: Okay, okay.

MATT: So.

TRAVIS: By five?! That's good.

MATT: Yeah, there's, it was 22 to begin with for that one.

TALIESIN: How far is 35-- Fuck off.

MATT: 35 is five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35.

LAURA: "How far is 35, fuck off?"

TALIESIN: Where I can get-- All right. Yeah, that's, I don't know what else I can do other than start getting that far in that direction.

MATT: Okay, so that's a move and a dash?

TALIESIN: Yeah. Other than that, since all my plans have failed.

TRAVIS: You know you can use those two turns.

TALIESIN: What, the--

TRAVIS: The sword.

TALIESIN: I know, I just lose my--

TRAVIS: I'm just saying, when you get to him.

TALIESIN: Yeah, it just gets me further. I still can't fight anything, and then I'm vulnerable as hell, so.

TRAVIS: Sure.

TALIESIN: Yeah. Is that within 30 feet of me, out of curiosity?

MATT: That right there?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: Yes, it is.

TALIESIN: Okay, cool.

MATT: Okay, finishing that go, end of Kingsley's turn, Beau, you're up, with Yasha on deck.

MARISHA: All right, all right. I'm going to slide down the front of his head a little bit.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I'm going to go for his eyeball.

MATT: All right, you're going for one of the other eyes. Go for it.

MARISHA: Pop, pop!

TRAVIS: Pop, pop!

MARISHA: One is bad, one is bad, but one is good. 30 for one.

MATT: 30 for one does hit, yeah.

MARISHA: The other is 21.

MATT: 21, 21 just misses.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MARISHA: To the eyeball

MATT: The eye, yeah. But you do get damage with one.

TRAVIS: So it's 22.

MARISHA: 22 is the magic number.

TRAVIS: 20 and 22.

MARISHA: But. 10 damage.

MATT: 10 damage to the eye. As you strike the eye, all the eyes across the body dim ever so faintly at that strike.

LAURA: Good. That's good.

SAM: Okay. What does that mean?

MARISHA: This is a bit lame, but I'm also hurting. I'm going to do Patient Defense and brace myself I'm going to do Patient Defense and brace myself for incoming damage.

SAM: Weak!

TALIESIN: Can I bonus action this, by the way? Sure. Go for it.

TRAVIS: Matt, question for you. Does the captain in the boat, like the cannons get a turn in initiative?

MATT: They do. They were setting up, and they're trying to rotate now.

TRAVIS: Cool, cool, cool, cool.

MATT: Actually, they should've rotated on the 40. Thank you for the reminder on that. So the ship-- Actually, you know what? Consider this, Kingsley. The boat would've shifted, probably over this way to try and make a cannon attack. So, that would put you--

LIAM: Within striking range.

MATT: Within striking range, about here. If you wanted to.

TALIESIN: Ah, yeah. Especially if I can hit an eye.

MATT: This is technically on the ship--

TALIESIN: Well, actually. Everyone else is hitting eyes. I'm just going to keep hitting that thing.

MARISHA: Go for the eye, if you can.

TALIESIN: I'll go for the eye. Let's see what happens.

TRAVIS: How high you can hit? Remember, it's 22.

TALIESIN: How high can I hit? Yeah, I can, I can do that. Actually, I will--

MARISHA: Walk on water.

TALIESIN: I'll save it for the next one. All right, I'm going to take a shot for the eye, since it's come round. I'll just pace myself, see if I can very gently give a slice. That's a 27 to hit.

MATT: 27 hits.

TRAVIS: Damn! I'm going to put all the fun stuff into this one, so that's 2d8 fire, another d8 damage, and okay. 2d6, or 3d6 sneak attack?

MATT: Technically, this is.

TALIESIN: I'm so sorry.

MATT: Yeah. No, it works. Go for it.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I can do it anyway.

MATT: Yeah, you're-- You're yourself.

TALIESIN: I'm just remembering if it's 2d6 or 3d6.

MATT: 3d6.

TALIESIN: Okay, 3d6. Excellent. All right, so that's. That's nice. 10, 12. 17, 26. 26 normal damage and nine fire damage.

MATT: Great.

TALIESIN: Then I'll take another.

MATT: The eyes dim with that strike even further.

TALIESIN: Take another swipe at this monster. I try and crisscross it all the way across. That hits, it's a 28.

TALIESIN: Another eye, or the body itself?

TALIESIN: Another eye.

MATT: Okay. Go for it. Roll damage.

TALIESIN: That's 15 normal damage, and 10 fire damage.

MATT: Great.

TALIESIN: Then, if I have any more movement left, I might back off a bit, but.

MATT: Okay. Both strikes to the eye. The eyes dim twice, and then one of them flares up. It all begin, catches up a little bit.

TALIESIN: Interesting. Okay. I'm going to-- If I have any more movement, I'm going to back up.

MATT: No, that's all your movement to get there because of that. First off, it's going to use legendary action to-- Well, no, actually. No, it's going to do that. It's going to tail swipe you.

TALIESIN: Is that a reaction, or is that a--?

MATT: That's a legendary action.

TALIESIN: It's a legendary action. Does it count as, can I use Blood Curse of the Eyeless? Would it roll over for the entire round here or no?

MATT: Yeah, if you want to.

TALIESIN: Will hit all his attacks for the rest--

MATT: It might.

TALIESIN: Ah, fucker. All right. I'm using Blood Curse of the Eyeless, and I'm--

MATT: Amplifying?

TALIESIN: Amplifying it. Let's see what happens.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: (chuckles) That's one damage. So, let's see.

MATT: So he has disadvantage on all of his attacks for the next round?

TALIESIN: No, it's when a creature attacks, you can use a reaction to roll a 1d10, and subtract that result from the creature's attack.

MATT: That's what it is, yeah.

TALIESIN: All of their attacks are 1d10 less.

MATT: You got it.

TALIESIN: 'Til the end of your next turn. It's five.

TALIESIN: Five, okay.

LAURA: So all of his attacks--

MATT: So that would've been against you. Did I say the number?

TALIESIN: No.

MATT: Would've been 27.

TALIESIN: Yeah, that's fine. It was a 32? You hit with--

MATT: No, it was 27. It went down to 22.

LAURA: Oh. Wow.

TRAVIS: What's 27?

LAURA: His attack roll.

TALIESIN: Worth it.

MATT: Yeah, no. As the tail swipes you, you take--

LAURA: Yeah, especially with one damage.

MATT: 20 points of bludgeoning damage.

TALIESIN: Yep.

LIAM: Rat tail.

MATT: And eight points of acid damage. You are also-- Well, no, it can't slam you into the water, but it slams you into the deck. The boat creaks a little bit, and lists from the impact.

TALIESIN: Oh, I don't like that.

MATT: Now the boat is going to fire the cannons. (multiple booms)

MARISHA: C'mon.

MATT: I'd like six of you to roll attack rolls for it.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

LIAM: I'll roll one.

MATT: It's only a plus six to the roll.

MARISHA and TRAVIS: I'll roll one.

LAURA: I'll roll one.

ASHLEY: Oh, wait. We all roll one, then?

MATT: It's six attacks. So one of you do not.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah. I'll go for it.

MATT: You'll roll one? Okay, I don't want to--

MARISHA: Plus six?

MATT: Plus six to it.

TRAVIS: 25, natural 19.

MATT: One hit.

MARISHA: 12.

MATT: Miss.

LIAM: 14 for me.

MATT: Miss.

SAM: 16.

MATT: Just hits.

LIAM: Oh yeah.

MATT: No, it misses. I misread. I'm sorry.

MARISHA: Just hits?

MATT: No.

SAM: Plus what? Plus four?

MATT: No, it misses. It misses. It's plus six to it.

SAM: Oh, then 18.

MATT: 18, it does just hit.

MARISHA: Just hits!

MATT: So one, two hits.

LAURA: Mine doesn't.

TALIESIN: 12.

MATT: No? No. Okay, so two hits go. For the people that hit, roll 4d10 bludgeoning damage for me, please.

SAM: Who has that many d10s?

LIAM: How many do you need?

SAM: Oh god. Oh god. That was so fast. Jesus.

MARISHA: Use her dice.

LIAM: All right. I volunteer as tribute!

MARISHA: Come on.

LAURA: You gave mine back?

SAM: I did. (laughter)

SAM: 18.

MATT: 18 points of bludgeoning damage?

LAURA: I never let anyone borrow my dice.

TRAVIS: 18 as well, so 36 total.

LAURA: You just disrespected it so heartedly.

TALIESIN: That's exciting.

MATT: The impacts from the cannon fire slam into the side. It's doing damage. But you've seen canons hit some ships and other creatures. It's not doing as much as you prefer, but it's still additional damage.

TRAVIS: Oh, they're halved because it's just normal-ass.

MATT: The captain shouts, "Reload!"

MARISHA: It's immune to acid--

MATT: You hear below deck, voices start shouting, and immediately, you know, as much as you're floating in the air the sound of reloading of multiple cannons.

TRAVIS: Reload with some magical bullets!

MATT: Beauregard.

TRAVIS: Bless the cannon balls.

MATT: Exactly. Is Kingsley finished? Then Beauregard, it's your turn.

MARISHA: Oh, what? Oh fuck. Oh. I thought it was just--

MATT: Sorry, we were retroactively doing some stuff there that got lost in initiative order. That's on me.

TALIESIN: (unhappy cough)

MARISHA: I'm going to slide down its back, and I'm going to go for this eyeball.

MATT: Okay. (sliding whoosh)

MARISHA: Is it my turn already? I thought I just did a-- But hang on, but I did.

TRAVIS: Fjord, Kingsley, you.

MARISHA: I already went, because I did Patient Defense.

MATT: Oh, that's right. Because we went and back. You're right. Never mind. So bringing that back, it is Yasha's go, with Caleb on deck. Thank you for the reminder. You're right, because we had to go back and do stuff.

TRAVIS: All of our sheets.

MATT: A little timey-wimey. Yep, yep. That's what it's about. What you got, Yasha?

ASHLEY: Okay. I'm going to try something.

TRAVIS: Just kill it.

LAURA: Do it.

ASHLEY: I am going to-- You see, on my right arm, a new tattoo flames up. You see, on my right arm, a new tattoo flames up. It says the Chainbreaker. Not "the," just Chainbreaker. (laughter)

MATT: Got it, got it.

TALIESIN: It's implied.

ASHLEY: I am going to, once I get to the top. How much is that movement from it?

TALIESIN: Technically, you just do it.

ASHLEY: Would I just?

MATT: You buoy up instantly, because of the spell of Water Walking. You can like catch back onto the water.

ASHLEY: I'm going to stick my hand in the air, call to the Stormlord, and I'm going to grab some lightning, and thunder it down into the water.

TRAVIS: Fuck.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: So like (whooshing).

MATT: All right, so what are you using?

ASHLEY: Thunderclap.

MATT: Thunderclap, okay.

MARISHA and TRAVIS: Thunder.

LIAM: ♪ Thunderclap ♪

ASHLEY: Constitution saving throw.

LAURA: Thunderclap!

MARISHA, TRAVIS, and LAURA: (drawn out) Ho!

MATT: That is a 25.

ASHLEY: Oh, that works. Never mind. Okay. So then.

MATT: That was dope, though.

ASHLEY: Oh yeah. It would've been cool.

MATT: (lightning striking) The water splashes up around in the air, and this orb of water that's been blown out. You see Yasha standing there, as it all fills back. You lift up on top of it between the two sides.

ASHLEY: All right. Wait, that was a-- All right, that's it.

MATT: That's an action to cast that.

ASHLEY: Let's see if I have a bonus action. Bonus action. I will unleash a battle cry, so everybody has advantage on attack rolls and saving throws.

MATT: Okay, what's the range on that?

ASHLEY: 60 feet.

MATT: 60 feet. With that--

MARISHA: Battle cry?

ASHLEY: Battle cry.

MARISHA: Battle cry.

TALIESIN: I think it's everybody.

MATT: That's everybody but Fjord.

ASHLEY: Oh-wah!

LIAM: Me too? Me too?

MATT: Beau is out of the range.

MARISHA: I'm out of the range?

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Wait, wait, wait.

LAURA: Can she move forward?

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: And Caleb's out. You can move, if you wanted to.

ASHLEY: Yeah, let me move.

MATT: Because you're still in melee there.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah yeah.

MATT: So that'll allow you. Yeah, that'll get Fjord. That'll get Beauregard. You are too high in the sky, Caleb.

LIAM: Dragon butt's out.

SAM: What about me? I guess it doesn't really matter. I'll be fine.

LAURA: Yeah, you're in the range. Just barely.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: Everybody else can get that.

LAURA: What'd we get? Attack, advantage--

MATT: Advantage on attacks and saving throws.

TALIESIN: For one round?

ASHLEY: For one round.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: For one wound.

ASHLEY: For one wound.

MATT: All right. Does that finish your turn?

ASHLEY: It does.

MATT: All right, with that, going to use another legendary action to move.

MARISHA: ♪ One more wound ♪ (laughter)

TRAVIS: ♪ We're gonna celebrate, one more wound ♪

MATT: With that, it's going to use a legendary action to move. The head dives under the water, Beau. You take a deep breath as the head goes under, even though you can breathe under water, instinctually, it happens before it splashes back out right next to you, Fjord. The head is now right up to eye level with you.

MARISHA: You hear Beau try to warn Fjord. Fjord, look out!

MATT: Caleb, it's your go, with Veth on deck.

LIAM: Okay, how's our movement? We're in buffeting winds?

MATT: Yes.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: So you your movement is halved while in the air.

LIAM: All right, so Caleb Dragon has 80 feet of flight.

MATT: So 40 feet.

LIAM: So, I will push down 40 feet, I think should be about there.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: Okay. As I fly down, I will flare, all three of the dragons will flare their wings out and roar (roaring) I will use Frightful Presence. Each creature of the dragon's choice; let's go with Uk'otoa.

MATT: (laughs)

LIAM: Has to make a DC 17 wisdom save. It's going to pass or burn, or be frightened. So first that.

MATT: That's a 22.

LIAM: I think that succeeds. Okay, cool.

LAURA: Isn't he immune to being frightened anyway?

LIAM: Oh, I don't remember.

MATT: Actually, frightened was not one of the--

ALL: Ooh!

LAURA: Good to know.

LIAM: Now can that be used round after round? Or once, if he beats it, it's done.

MATT: I believe it says, under Frightful Presence, that once they make it save, they're immune to it for 24 hours.

LIAM: Cool. Got it. All right, so I'm here, I think, with movement down. As the dragon's moving, the claws start to weave around these massive hands. The dragon opens its mouth, and like Rodan charging up a beam, I cast-- Sorry, sorry, sorry-- Gravity Fissure, and shoot out a beam of dunamantic raw energy right from the mouth (energy blasting) through Uk'ie's head and into the far, because it goes 100 feet, to the furthest away, hopefully piercing through Big Daddy, and into his bump.

TRAVIS: His furthest bump?

LIAM: Furthest bump.

MATT: Here's the thing.

LIAM: Yeah?

MATT: Frightful Presence is an action.

SAM: Oh shit!

LIAM: Oh, is it?

MATT: It is.

LIAM: Oh.

MATT: You can use it as part of the multiattack feature on it.

LIAM: Okay.

SAM: So what does that mean?

TRAVIS: You can do that and--

MATT: Meaning you couldn't use that and then a spell, technically.

MARISHA: You have to do that and an attack?

MATT: But then you could do that, and then get the three attacks from it, if you wanted to.

LIAM: So I have to attack instead?

TRAVIS: If you do Frightful Presence.

LIAM: If I do Frightful Presence, if I understood the rules.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: This is a new form for you, so.

LIAM: Well, I can--

MATT: As opposed to wasting a turn here.

LIAM: Well, I can do one of two things. One is, if I can make it to Uk'ie, I will just go physical attack. Or if you're forgiving of "new form, who dis?", I will--

MATT: I'll be forgiving of that.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: Because you need it.

ASHLEY: Oh wow.

MATT: But also, you moved 40 feet down, and that was your movement. So you wouldn't be able to get to it within melee this round, anyway. So you wouldn't have made--

LIAM: Right. I would do two things. If I understood that frightening thing, I would've done a straight line towards Uk'ie.

MATT: No worries.

LIAM: Thank you.

MATT: It's all good. So instead you are casting?

LIAM: I am getting to the same-- Thank you, I'm getting to the same spot of position where I can shoot through the neck and into the far bump.

MATT: Gravity Fissure right there?

LIAM: Yes. That is a con save.

MATT: All righty. Con save on this. That is 19.

LIAM: Just beats it, but it's half damage.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: That's Sinkhole, not Fissure, one moment.

MATT: That's two parts, technically. Yeah, they both succeed. So Fissure carves through.

TALIESIN: Amazing.

LIAM: Eights.

SAM: You think I could take this guy out with Hideous Laughter?

TRAVIS: (laughs)

TALIESIN: I mean--

TRAVIS: There's only one way to find out.

TALIESIN: -- weirder shit has happened.

TRAVIS: That'd be up-- That'd be up there.

LIAM: So that's 39 points, so half of that.

SAM: It's not immune to comedy.

MATT: 39, okay.

MARISHA: It's only immune to acid and poison.

MATT: 18 points of damage. As the line carves through, it does affect creatures within 10 feet of the line. Beauregard is on its back.

LIAM: Okay. Well, can we put me where I would-- I would hope. I was hoping to get there and-- Well, I'll leave it up to you.

MARISHA: I have Patient Defense up.

LIAM: I'll leave it to you.

MARISHA: I can dodge gravity.

SAM: Yeah, man. Do it.

MATT: It's challenging in this instance because it's one of those wide area stuff.

LIAM: You're already being plenty forgiving to me, so.

MATT: I say because it is a constitution saving throw on this. Just your physical ability to resist this. You have Patient Defense up. You make a constitution saving throw with advantage.

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: Not good.

MARISHA: I can spend a ki point to reroll saving throws.

MATT: You can.

ASHLEY: Wait, don't--

LAURA: Oh, you have advantage. You rolled two.

MARISHA: I have advantage. Does that let me reroll one or both?

MATT: That would reroll--

MARISHA: Because reroll saving throws.

MATT: Getting in the nitty gritty here.

TALIESIN: I was going to say, technically you had a saving throw, you had advantage anyway.

SAM: This is a forgiving round.

TRAVIS: Yeah, she rolled.

LAURA: Yeah, she rolled with--

MATT: I'm trying to give you what I can.

TALIESIN: Or even if you, yeah, all savings throws are at advantage right now.

TRAVIS: Yeah, but if she gets to spend a ki point to reroll--

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: This is the--

TALIESIN: We're getting into the weird shit.

MARISHA: Diamond Soul.

MATT: Diamond Soul. To reroll it, and take the second result. So technically...

MARISHA: Still advantage?

MATT: I would say you reroll one of them, is the idea.

ASHLEY: But, but-- Okay.

LIAM: One more and you win.

TRAVIS: How'd it go?

SAM: It'll be good.

TRAVIS: Oh, it was a journey, dude. Oh, man.

LIAM: Almost amazing.

MARISHA: 18.

MATT: 18. What's your DC?

LIAM: 19.

MATT: 19. So you take the full brunt to the of 8d8 force damage. Which you rolled?

LIAM: It was 39.

MATT: 39, you take 39 points of force damage. You are pulled into the line. But you're already against Uk'otoa. So you're tugged into this space. You feel your body crunch inward.

MARISHA: I rolled a seven, and eight, and then eight, for the record.

TALIESIN: Just awful.

TRAVIS: The third one was--

MARISHA: It was, it went on a journey.

MATT: That's a tough round. All right. Finish your turn, Caleb?

LIAM: Sure it does.

MATT: All righty. With that, we're going to come to Veth. Veth, you're up, with Jester on deck.

TRAVIS: Let's go, Chris Kyle.

SAM: Do I comedy it, or do I shoot it? I think I shoot it. That seems like the safer plan. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Well, let's workshop the joke. What are we doing here?

SAM: I got a couple jokes. I got: What happened when Jester painted the Balleater red, but Beau painted it blue? It was marooned.

LAURA: Oh.

MARISHA: Oh.

TRAVIS: Go shoot it. Shoot it, yeah.

MATT: Shoot it. Just shoot it, please.

SAM: I got other ones, too. I got other ones.

LAURA: I don't want to hear them.

SAM: From my sniper's nest, I test the wind, and I adjust my sights two clicks over to compensate for the wind.

TRAVIS: Whisper the joke, like Barry Pepper in "Saving Private Ryan."

SAM: Okay.

MARISHA: (laughs)

SAM: Why did Fjord put his jacket on the Balleater? Its timbers were shivering.

ASHLEY: Oh.

MARISHA: Shiver me timbers?

TRAVIS and MATT: Shoot! (laughter)

SAM: I will Voltaic Bolt and shoot for the eye again.

MATT: Okay. Roll an attack.

TALIESIN: Advantage.

SAM: I have advantage. Five, not good.

LAURA: Ooh, god.

SAM: 18, better.

MATT: That's better.

SAM: That's plus 13.

MATT: That definitely hits.

LAURA: Okay, okay. Okay, okay, okay.

SAM: Thank you, Yasha, for your yelp.

TALIESIN: 23, for the first one. You rolled five plus 13.

ASHLEY: Haven't really done much.

TALIESIN: Would be 23 anyway. So that would've hit.

MARISHA: We've got this. We also all have the battle cry. We have the battle cry.

MATT: Five plus 13? That's 18.

TALIESIN: Oh, it's 18. Never mind. (laughter)

MATT: It's all good. I got you.

TALIESIN: I'm having my panic attack over here.

MATT: That's okay.

TALIESIN: You're fine.

MARISHA: Oh, Matt, but-- okay. Diamond Soul. Because we had advantage because of the battle cry. Do I get one more fucking roll?

LIAM: Wait. Before you ask that question--

MATT: No, you had advantage for the initial roll.

MARISHA: Uh-huh.

TALIESIN: You already did.

MARISHA: Okay. Okay, okay.

LIAM: I have a question.

MARISHA: I'll let it go, I'll let it go.

LIAM: I have a question, just because I don't want Beau to die.

SAM: Beau's not going to die.

LIAM: The blue dragon is in the same place. They didn't move. So if--

TALIESIN: Five.

LIAM: The blue dragon went down 40 feet--

LIAM: 40 feet? Was I higher than that, though?

MATT: Yes, you were. I took a whole section off of that.

LIAM: Oh, you did?

MARISHA: He did.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LIAM: Ooh, okay. All right.

MARISHA: It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.

MATT: The angle to hit both of those things is unfortunately...

LIAM: Yeah, I thought it was going to be here and shoot through it, so okay. Never mind.

SAM: 54--

MATT: Even so, it's a 10-foot radius around it, which is that big. It's a big line. You do have evasion. Oh, it's not a dex save, though, never mind.

MARISHA: Correct.

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: What happened when Fjord found a hand floating in the water? It was nothing. It was just a little wave. (groaning)

TRAVIS: Wow.

MATT: How much damage did you deal, Sam Riegel?

SAM: 54!

MATT: 54 points of damage to Uk'otoa right in the eye! (sprays) All the eyes dim even further and then flare up back to where they were.

SAM: Right back to where they were?

MATT: You're beginning to pick up, especially in your proximity here, if it takes a certain amount of damage in one round-- It builds more fury. Hitting eyes seems to diminish the fury. If they both happen at the same time, it cancels itself out.

SAM: Interesting.

LAURA: Oh.

TALIESIN: Try to do both.

TRAVIS: If it cancels--

TALIESIN: We got to do--

SAM: So canceling itself out is still better than nothing.

MARISHA: We all have to go for eyes or we all have to go for body is it essentially?

TALIESIN: No, we got to do both.

LAURA: No, if we build the fury, that's probably bad, so probably just hit eyes.

SAM: But, it's a harder DC to hit the eyes.

TRAVIS: Yeah, by two.

MARISHA: We do have--

MATT: So you do less damage, but try to mitigate whatever is happening, or go in for full damage, and then whatever fury builds, if you do a lot of damage in a single round. But that being the case--

MARISHA: We've got advantage right now because of the battle cry.

SAM: I think I'm going to stay put. I'm feeling pretty great up here.

TALIESIN: So--

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: That's body hits a few if you're doing a lot of damage, not eye hits, I think.

MARISHA: Well, I think he means in terms of being able to hit.

TALIESIN: Oh.

MARISHA: Because they're harder to hit so, theoretically, you'll do less damage, right? Is that what you mean?

MATT: You'll do lose damage if you miss more attacks because of the eyes, yes.

MARISHA: Right, right.

MATT: That finishes Veth's turn. Jester, you're up.

SAM: That's Veth's turn.

LAURA: Okay, sorry, Yasha, about this. I'm going to use my bonus action to move the cylinder of Daylight.

MATT: Mm-hmm?

LAURA: Towards these two.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: It's going to get Yasha, though.

MATT: That will get Yasha, yes.

LAURA: Sorry.

MATT: So go ahead and roll--

LAURA: It's a con save.

ASHLEY: It's okay.

MATT: Con save, all right.

ASHLEY: Do I need to con save? Yes?

MATT: Two parts to for Uk'otoa, success, and I think a success as well. A 20 on the second one, which is the lower one.

LAURA: It succeeds.

TALIESIN: You have advantage.

SAM: Fucking Uk'otoa.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LAURA: You succeed too, Yasha?

ASHLEY: 21.

LAURA: Yeah, you succeed too.

MATT: So you take half damage. He takes half damage twice. So you just roll that once and it takes it twice.

LAURA: Okay. 20 points, so 10 points of radiant damage.

MATT: So 10 points of radiant to you and 20 points of radiant to Uk'otoa.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: Just from being in there, he's (blasts) the light is burning into his body. The tendrils are like (slurps).

LAURA: And it's going to drop that as I Invoke Duplicity.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: On myself as my action.

MATT: (whooshes) Where's the--?

LAURA: There are four duplicates back here.

TRAVIS: Whoa, whoa!

SAM: You have four of everything now!

TRAVIS: Lucky me!

MATT: I don't have four Jesters!

SAM: Why not?

MATT: Because, I didn't remember that part.

SAM: Do you have four fish people that can be Jesters?

MATT: Here, this will be weird.

TRAVIS: The captain's quarters are very happy.

MATT: I'll use Jester and then I'll use some Otohans.

LAURA: Amazing. I'm going to send my Jesters 30 feet away from me. They're going to appear in the water as far away as they can in a fan around me.

TRAVIS: Incredible.

MATT: So there. There. Using these Otohans for it, that'll be fine.

LAURA: Amazing.

MATT: We'll say about there. Okay.

LAURA: All of them... Well, I wouldn't put one away from all of the Uk'otoas. I would put them near the, yeah.

MATT: Okay, so there?

LAURA: Yeah, yeah.

MATT: You got it, okay.

LAURA: They're all just going to scream out, "Hey, man, we're over here! Come on, it's a party! Here we go! (ululates)" All of them at the same time.

SAM: (like Jester) Hey!

MATT: Okay. Perfect.

LAURA: Is that four of them?

SAM: (Jester) Technically, technically.

LAURA: Where's the fourth one?

MATT: Oh, there's four of them, that's right. You want the other one over here?

TALIESIN: Oh man.

LAURA: Sure.

MATT: Okay, there you go. That finish your turn, Jester?

LAURA: I'm going to use my movement to back away and around that pole.

MATT: Around the pole.

LAURA: I'm just going to hold on to the pole.

MATT: Right there?

LAURA: I'm just going to hold on to it.

MATT: You got it, okay. It's going to us its last legendary action. The eye, as the head's trying to shake off Beauregard up top, it curves over and looks back towards you, Fjord, and in your head you hear, "You still work for me."

SAM: Oh no.

MATT: Make a wisdom saving throw for me.

LAURA: No, no, no, no. Advantage, advantage, advantage.

MATT: You have advantage.

SAM: He doesn't have it.

LAURA: Why?

TRAVIS: I do have advantage.

LAURA: Yes, he does. She was close enough.

TRAVIS: Yasha's thing.

SAM: Oh, okay, that works!

MARISHA: Saving throw.

LAURA: I lost the cylinder, by the way, Matt.

TRAVIS: Which one? Wisdom saving throw, you said?

MATT: Oh, because you...

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: Wisdom saving throw. It's using Control Minion.

TRAVIS: Natural 20!

MARISHA: (excited noises)

TRAVIS: (laughs)

ASHLEY: (claps)

MARISHA: Yeah!

TRAVIS: What are you going to do, man?

MATT: As you feel the influence of Uk'otoa try and peer into you, the warmth suddenly (booms) emerges within you and you feel the Wildmother's presence and the calm and peace within your heart and mind and you just hear this soft wind blow through your consciousness for a moment as she assures you she's watching and guarding. The head goes (growls) angrily. That's going to finish the round. Back up to Uk'otoa's go. He gets his Legendary Actions back.

TRAVIS: What was that going to be, dude?

LIAM: Gets his Legendary Actions back.

ASHLEY: All of them?

MARISHA: Legendary Actions or his what? Does it reset?

LIAM: No! Don't go fucking throwing away that.

MATT: He's going to shift here.

LIAM: Damn it.

SAM: He's getting us in a line. He's getting us in a line.

ASHLEY: He gets all his actions back?

TALIESIN: Legendary Actions.

MATT: So staying in melee with you as it whips around, it's going to Tidal Wave.

MARISHA: ♪ I want to die ♪

MATT: (whooshes) It's going to get itself in the Tidal Wave as it rises up from behind, so it can get Beauregard as well.

MARISHA: Oh bullshit, I thought for fucking sure--

TRAVIS: It's going to body slam.

SAM: Does it get to take a--

MATT: 250 feet tall, it'll also get you.

LIAM: Okay. But we can all breathe.

MATT: Yes.

TRAVIS: That's like--

LAURA: But it's bludgeoning damage. It's just intense bludgeoning damage.

MARISHA: I'm going to go down.

MATT: It's all--

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: (rattles)

TRAVIS: It's like this.

MATT: Up here, yeah. It's like the whole ship (crackles), tips over for a second as it crashes.

TRAVIS: So does that get the bell ringing. (bongs)

MATT: It does take six psychic damage.

TALIESIN: Take six psychic damage.

MARISHA: We got advantage on these. What is it, con saves?

MATT: All of you--

TRAVIS: Some of us have advantage.

MATT: All of you have to make a strength saving throw.

MARISHA: Strength saves.

SAM: This is not at advantage?

LAURA: Well, it is.

ASHLEY: It is!

TALIESIN: Everything is, yeah.

LAURA: We're at advantage.

TRAVIS: For one round.

MARISHA: Okay, okay.

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay, okay.

MARISHA: That's okay, that's okay.

TALIESIN: Hey.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: 21.

MATT: 21? That is a success, so you take half damage. So you take 18 points of damage.

TRAVIS: Thank you.

MARISHA: 19?

MATT: Nine, sorry, you rolled a what? 20?

TRAVIS: 21.

MATT: Oh, I'm sorry. I was completely wrong. DC is 24. You fail. So you take--

TRAVIS: 36?

MATT: Yeah, 38.

TRAVIS: 38.

MATT: 38 points of bludgeoning damage and you are knocked prone.

TALIESIN: Jesus.

MARISHA: I'm assuming I'm the same?

MATT: You as well, 38 points of bludgeoning damage.

LIAM: I got a 24.

MATT: 24? You just saved, so you take half damage. You take 18 and you are not knocked prone.

SAM: Natural 20 for 21.

LAURA and MATT: (groan)

ASHLEY: What?

MATT: You take 38 points bludgeoning damage.

SAM: But, it's halved because I'm a rogue.

MATT: Well, that's a dexterity-based save, so it'll be for evasion because it's not about you evading it, it's about you trying to withstand the impact.

SAM: Fuck.

ASHLEY: You literally could've never--

SAM: So 38, you said?

MARISHA: No.

MATT: 38 points.

MARISHA: There's no way to beat it.

ASHLEY: No.

LAURA: Well, yeah, I fail.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Got to look at my Features and Traits.

LAURA: 38?

MATT: 38 points. If you can make a concentration check for me, Jester?

LAURA: Yes, sir.

TALIESIN: Physically impossible to succeed.

LAURA: Hey, Natural 20!

MATT: Oh shit, yeah, you maintain your duplicates.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

TALIESIN: This is going to be impossible.

LAURA: That's really, really good, you guys.

MATT: -- are knocked prone.

TALIESIN: Fuck, okay, that's bad.

ASHLEY: 18, failed. 38 points.

MATT: 38 points and you are knocked prone.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: I wish that was an attack-attack.

LAURA: Am I knocked? I'm probably knocked prone, too.

SAM: Was that an attack?

MARISHA: It's okay.

MATT: "Ignorant fleas! I relish in your arrogance and failure!" You hear through your mind as it begins to cherish watching you all fall and crumble. The ship listing over to one side, you hear the captain screaming, the rest of the crew waterlogged and trying to rush out of the bows of the ship. They're trying to load it up for another round of cannon fire. But that is going to finish Uk'otoa's turn. It only gets that one strike.

SAM: Was that an attack?

ASHLEY: Only?!

MATT: That is, it is a magical ability.

SAM: So it's not, it doesn't and Uncanny Dodge cannot dodge it?

MATT: Uncanny Dodge, that is not an attack--

TALIESIN: It doesn't have a roll to decide how hard it is to--

MATT: Correct.

TALIESIN: Yeah, yeah, okay.

LAURA: Would I have been knocked prone, Matthew?

MATT: Oh, you would be, yes.

SAM: Knocked prone.

LIAM: So, Counterspells only counter spells, right, not magical effects?

MATT: If I recall. Yes, Counterspell. "In the process of casting a spell."

LIAM: Casting a spell.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: That's what I thought.

MATT: Yasha, you were about to say something?

TALIESIN: Damn!

MATT: You take, because you're raging, you take half the damage, by the way.

ASHLEY: Oh, okay.

MATT: Because it's bludgeoning.

ASHLEY: So that would be... So it was 38 total, did you say?

MATT: Correct, so you take 19.

TRAVIS: He's a big, he's a big boy.

SAM: He's as long as my dick. (laughter)

MATT: Now, it goes back to its lair actions.

SAM: It looks like my dick, too!

MATT: It can use Anger of The Storm again. The eyes all get (rumbles) brighter and brighter.

LAURA: Oh no.

MATT: And you can feel the energy in the air crackling. Finishing that, Fjord, it is your turn.

TRAVIS: Okay. Check me because I don't... All the bodies of Uk'otoa are doing weird shit. If I wrap around this thing in melee and try to come around that tail, will the head section get an attack of opportunity? Actually, coming towards the ship around.

MATT: Oh, towards the ship around here, you mean?

TRAVIS: Yeah, wrapping that way.

MATT: You would. You'd leave the attack range of the head.

TRAVIS: Okay, okay, okay.

MATT: You get the sense his reach is about 20 feet. Which is four squares.

TRAVIS: God love it.

MATT: So as long as you stay within that range, you're still within melee of it.

TRAVIS: Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Interesting. Boy, it sucks out there, doesn't it? Can I--

LIAM: What's--

TRAVIS: Yeah?

LIAM: What's the wind situation right now? Is it still--

MATT: No, the wind is returned to its... It's still a storm, but you can travel fine with your dragon wings.

MARISHA: I think so.

TALIESIN: It seems to be-- Okay.

LAURA: Shoot for the eyes.

TRAVIS: The cone has a specific shape, right?

MATT: The cone?

TRAVIS: The 60 feet, a 60-foot Cone of Cold has a specific shape, like it gets wider and it goes, right? It gets wide fast, doesn't it?

MATT: Yes, it does.

TRAVIS: You know what? I'm going to--

TALIESIN: It's going to run all the way down.

TRAVIS: -- try it. Yeah. I'm going to aim Cone of Cold, but I'm going to shoot it towards the corner of the map so that I'm going to try and clip Uk'otoa's head, the section to my right and the one in the back. I don't know if the 60 feet will reach that third one in the back.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: And--

MATT: Like that there?

TRAVIS: Like that, yeah. That would hit all three and not hit Beau.

MATT: Yeah, you can do that.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MARISHA: Oh, thank god!

LAURA: Awesome.

TRAVIS: All right. I'm going to try it.

LAURA: Your face was like you were ready, girl.

MARISHA: Yeah, I didn't want to say anything, but. (laughs)

TRAVIS: Okay, do I roll for this? I don't.

TALIESIN: About to do crazy shit.

TRAVIS: It's just a con save, so three different constitution 19 saving throws or con save.

MATT: Indeed.

TALIESIN: There's no healing with--

MATT: That's a success. That's a success. And that's a success. They all three succeed.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LAURA: That's why I said wait until he gets out.

TALIESIN: I imagine. That's awesome.

LAURA: Unless he knows (whispers).

TRAVIS: 45, so half of 45.

MATT: So 22.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: So it takes 66 points of cold damage from all three parts. (shatters) Now, enough cold damage has hit this space where the ocean space around the head and this parts of the body (rumbles) are now frozen up to Uk'otoa.

LAURA: So he can't move?

MATT: Those three pieces right now are barely able to move.

SAM: Nice!

LAURA: (gasps) Nice!

TRAVIS: I would love to act like that was my plan, but I'll take it.

LAURA: ♪ Nice going, Fjord! ♪

MARISHA: That's cool, that's cool.

TRAVIS: I'll take it. It is cool. (as Arnold Schwarznegger) Everybody chill!

MATT: At that point, I'm going to leave this as a marker to remind me. Or actually, it will be easier to--

SAM: "Freeze!"

TRAVIS: "Freeze!"

MATT: This as a general reminder of the frozen area there.

LAURA: Cool.

MATT: Above the water. Okay.

ASHLEY: Nice.

TRAVIS: Bonus action. ♪ Do I want to do ♪ anything with your body ♪ ♪ Your body ♪

TALIESIN: Becomes my turn.

TRAVIS: ♪ With your body ♪ That's it.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Where's that thing?

MATT: So with that impact--

TRAVIS: Actually... I think, I don't think I'm as close as I am. I think I was closer to the head, right?

MATT: Hmm?

TRAVIS: Five, 10, 15, 20.

MATT: This right here is still within 20 feet of the head right there which is where you were when it came out.

TRAVIS: The thing is, if that's where I am, I would use my Relentless Hex as a bonus action to teleport 30 feet to an unoccupied space within five feet of the target which I would do to this one so that I'm only within melee of one instead of two.

MATT: So within five feet?

LAURA: How many? What's your?

MATT: 30, you could get there.

TRAVIS: Great. (whooshes)

MATT: That Relentless Hex, man.

LAURA: Cool.

MATT: Cool. With the ice (crackles) around it, the eyes flare the brightest you've seen them and they flare to a bright yellow, almost a white coloration, before you feel the electricity in the air. (whooshes) (zaps) Six bolts of lightning.

LAURA: Oh...

MATT: Strike down from the sky.

TALIESIN: Shit.

MATT: I need Jester.

TRAVIS: Should've done the eyes.

MATT: I need Kingsley. I need everybody but you.

LIAM: Not me?

MATT: No, because it's smart enough to know what you are.

LIAM: Fine, pooper.

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: To make what, make what?

TRAVIS: Damn, I should've hit eyes.

MATT: To make a dexterity saving throw, if you don't mind.

ASHLEY: Advantage.

SAM: Advantage, really?

ASHLEY: Still because it's--

SAM: Still. It feels too hard to be--

LIAM: Cocked. One was cocked.

TALIESIN: We still have it until your turn is over?

MARISHA: Wait, which one did I roll?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MARISHA: That one's bad.

SAM: Okay, okay. My dex is very good.

LIAM: Come on, Marisha, come on.

LAURA: It's probably going to be like a 24 to save, though.

TRAVIS: 18.

LIAM: Check your dex, check your dex.

MATT: 18 succeeds.

TRAVIS: What?!

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: On Uk'otoa lightning bursts?

MATT: Yeah, the DC on this is 18. You just make it.

TRAVIS: Oh my god, thank god.

MATT: So you take half damage, which means you take 18 points of lightning damage.

TRAVIS: Oh my god, yep, okay.

MARISHA: 24, Evasion.

MATT: So it's 18, it's 30.

LIAM: 36.

MARISHA: Dex save. I have Evasion.

MATT: Correct.

MARISHA: I rolled a 24.

MATT: So you're taking nothing?

MARISHA: No damage.

MATT: No damage to you.

LIAM: Just fucking break danced out of the way of lightning.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

LIAM: Yes?

MATT: Oh, I don't need anything--

LIAM: Yeah, I'm immune.

SAM: 24, Evasion.

MATT: 24 evasion, no damage.

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: 20.

MARISHA: Queen.

MATT: 20, take half damage. Take 18 points of lightning damage.

TALIESIN: I've got a-- where was it? It was 23, I believe, and--

LAURA: I saved on my concentration.

MATT: Great.

TALIESIN: 23 and yeah, that's right, and I'm also I have not immunity, I'm resistant to lightning.

MATT: Yeah, so you take nine points of lightning damage.

ASHLEY: 18.

SAM: Nice.

ASHLEY: So 18 points of damage?

MATT: Yep, 18 points of lightning damage. All the eyes dim back to their standard state.

TRAVIS: That is not an attack roll, right? That's a?

MATT: No, that just happens as an immediate effect as--

TRAVIS: When you're dumb enough to hit everything but the eyes? (sarcastic chuckles)

LAURA: But, he's frozen in place.

MATT: Those parts are, yeah.

TRAVIS: (blubbers) Good job!

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: At the end of your turn, Fjord, it's going to use legendary action.

LAURA: Oh my god.

MATT: It's going to--

LAURA: That wasn't even his legendary? He just got--

TRAVIS: No, that's a react--

MATT: That just happens the minute it fills up his fury.

TRAVIS: Like a certain little--

MATT: It's going to strike Kingsley.

TRAVIS: -- automaton.

MATT: He's prone. Advantage on the ground.

LAURA: What's he doing, what's he doing? What just happened?

MATT: Now, because that area is frozen, the whole body has disadvantage on his strikes for the round.

MARISHA: Oh, that's cool!

MATT: But it has advantage on you because you're prone.

TALIESIN: Yeah, there's just a--

MATT: So it's just a straight roll.

TALIESIN: There's a thing also, though, that it's that makes it harder for it to hit me if I've taken attack on it, but I don't know if I--

LAURA: I'm the lying down Jester.

MATT: Well, you get to roll a minus d10 from its attack rolls.

TRAVIS: Oh.

TALIESIN: That's true.

ASHLEY: That's true.

TALIESIN: That's still up.

MATT: So it's a 25 to hit.

TALIESIN: Where's my d10?

MARISHA: You just vibrated the pencil apart?

TALIESIN: Nope.

MATT: Okay, so it still gets you with the tail (whomps) on top of the deck again.

TALIESIN: Take six psychic damage.

MATT: It does.

TALIESIN: Is there a thing I could do?

MATT: It's starting to show some wear and tear.

LAURA: Ooh, okay!

SAM and TRAVIS: Ooh!

LAURA: That's something.

ASHLEY: Okay.

SAM: Uk'otoa-no.

MATT: That is going to be 17 points of bludgeoning damage to you.

TALIESIN: Fuck off.

MATT: As well as it's going to be 16 points of acid damage.

TALIESIN: Eh, not doing well.

ASHLEY: Oh boy.

LAURA: Oh yeah.

ASHLEY: Oh boy.

LAURA: Oh fuck, okay.

MATT: Okay, now, Kingsley, it's your turn. Beau, you're on deck.

TALIESIN: Hmm.

MARISHA: Okay.

TALIESIN: I don't know what the fuck to do.

TRAVIS: Oh boy.

TALIESIN: This is bad. Yeah. Getting real low.

ASHLEY: We're all getting pretty low.

TALIESIN: Yeah. Actually, what is that? Shit, I'd have to do it at the start of my turn. I hate it. I'm...

ASHLEY: You have advantage.

TALIESIN: I do have advantage, but I'm also one more hit and I'm kind of down. Fuck, I hate running.

MATT: Well, you're on the ground still, so you have to use half your movement to get up.

TALIESIN: I'm going to use half my movement to get up and...

LAURA: Hit him in the eye.

TALIESIN: Well, I can do that, or I can get defensive for a couple rounds.

LAURA: Hit him in the eye.

TALIESIN: (groans) This is going to be the fucking end of me. All right. Fucking take my goddamn hits on this guy.

LAURA: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm going to-- Actually, since... Yeah, fuck it. Taking my hits. Technically, do I get advantage in this scenario or no? Because there's all the--

MATT: The duplicates, I don't think they count as other people for when it comes to any sort of scenario there. So no, you don't have advantage.

LAURA: Oh, Yasha's prone.

ASHLEY: But you get advantage from battle cry. Because it still hasn't--

LAURA: Oh, that's right, we haven't gotten to Yasha.

TALIESIN: Oh, okay, well, in that case, let's take a couple hits, see what happens. Come on.

LAURA: Big money, big money.

TALIESIN: That definitely hits.

MATT: All right. First strike hits.

TALIESIN: Yep. So that's-- Let's just do the whole-- Actually, I'll do these. Yeah, I'll do these now, fuck that. That's 1d8, 2d8. Where have I put all mine? I should keep my panic dice out.

TRAVIS: ♪ Oh where, oh where have my d8s gone? ♪ ♪ Oh where, oh where ♪ can they be? ♪

TALIESIN: Okay, so that is five, six, seven, eight points of sneak attack, 11 points of normal damage, and 16 points of fire damage to that bloody eye. I've been hitting the same eye this whole goddamn time, by the way.

MATT: You stab it again and the flames burn out, and that one eye now closes entirely. You can see you've burned through and cauterized it, and it slithers over. So you've done a nice, hefty chunk of damage to that one. So that was one attack.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm going to move over to the next eye, which I assume is available, or they're not?

MATT: Yeah, I mean, it's moving.

TALIESIN: Moving all the time.

MATT: You don't have to move to the eye.

TALIESIN: Cool.

MATT: You're going to choose to attack an eye if you're near it. There are eyes all over. Covered in eyes!

LAURA: Lots of eyes.

MATT: You get an eye, and you get an eye!

TALIESIN: Come on. Yep, that definitely hits. 18.

MATT: Go for it. Roll damage. All right. Beau, you're up next. Be ready.

TALIESIN: That sucks. 10 points of normal damage with eight points of fire damage.

MATT: 18 damage on the second strike.

TALIESIN: I'm now going to take my 35 to pull to the back.

MATT: Over here?

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm even going to move one more away just to-- Is that okay?

LAURA: Can you disengage?

TALIESIN: It can't make a reaction attack against me if I've hit it.

LAURA: Oh, okay. That's great.

MATT: You can go back further if you want to, it's up to you.

TALIESIN: Is it all right if I go further?

MATT: Yeah!

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'll take a little cover, sure.

MATT: Yeah, can't make a strike against you.

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: Because you're crazy.

TALIESIN: Backing the fuck off.

MATT: All right. Beau, you're up. Yasha, you're on deck.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LIAM: The dragon roars: Beauregard! In Zemnian: Ich komme!

MARISHA: I got it, I got it. Beau's real fucked up. I'm going to go for the eye.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Advantage still on all these?

LAURA: Yes.

MARISHA: Okay, okay. Not that one, not that one. Not that one, either. Not that one. But these two, okay. First one, pop pop. Okay, that is a-- What is that? A 13 plus 13, so that's 26.

MATT: That hits.

LAURA: Nice.

MARISHA: So I'm going to do the second hit. Natural 20!

TRAVIS: Natural 20! (excited cheering)

ASHLEY: Yo. Yes!

MATT: Okay. Okay.

TRAVIS: Let's go! Let's go!

MARISHA: Damage on the first one--

TRAVIS: Excuse me.

MARISHA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Bustin'.

MARISHA: 10 damage on the first one, the natural 20. Come on, big money. Eight plus seven. 15 damage on the second one.

SAM: Cool, great.

MATT: Great.

MARISHA: Flurry of Blows.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: It's okay. 20 damage doesn't hit.

MATT: Doesn't hit the eye unfortunately.

MARISHA: Or 20 to hit, I mean.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: The next one. Yep, 20, 13 plus-- 27 to hit.

MATT: 27 does hit. So you get three attacks, the third one does.

MARISHA: Goddamn it, goddamn it. Oh yeah. 15 damage again.

MATT: Another 15, great.

MARISHA: I'm going to dump Debilitating Barrage in it again. One, two, three ki points plus four with my Flurry of Blows.

MATT: Okay. You're right there on the head, and there's multiple eyes in the front of it. How do you debilitate this creature?

LAURA: How do you want to do this?

MATT: That's not the phrase yet.

MARISHA: So I'm real fucked up. Beau's face is black and blue, and just, she's bleeding. I'm repeatedly pounding it with these jabs in its eye, and then I'm going to take the static electric charge that it left behind from its lightning strikes, and thinking of Yasha and thinking of Caleb, and a little bit of that static energy from the Stormlord, and I pop it one more time to bring that vulnerability to lightning.

MATT: To lightning damage.

MARISHA: To lightning damage.

ASHLEY: Woo!

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Then I go: Okay, come get me. I'm going to hold my move 'til Caleb comes up.

MATT: You can hold an action. You can't hold your move necessarily.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: But you can hold a dash, if you want to.

MARISHA: I hold a dash. Hold the dash.

MATT: Well, you use an action to dash, which means you have to use your bonus action, so no, unfortunately, you couldn't do that. Because you attacked and you Flurry of Blows.

MARISHA: Okay. Well, I still go and reach out and wait for Dragleb.

MATT: You got it. Okay.

TRAVIS: Help. Please, help.

MARISHA: Help.

MATT: As the energy arcs through its body, you can see Uk'otoa shaking a bit. All righty. So, finishing Beau's go, Yasha, you're up, Caleb, you're on deck.

ASHLEY: All right, I'm going for an eyeball.

TRAVIS: Let's go.

MATT: Okay. Back up to the surface there.

ASHLEY: Cocked.

SAM: What if they come back with their "Dragonlance" costumes on again?

MATT: Just a reminder, if you don't want to. Do you have advantage until the end of your turn?

ASHLEY: I do.

MATT: Okay, great. Go for it.

ASHLEY: Because I hadn't gotten to use it yet.

MATT: That's right.

ASHLEY: I rolled-- that'd be 31.

MATT: 31 hits.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: Do you have to--

SAM: Not too far from me.

MARISHA: Do we have enough distance?

ASHLEY: Okay, okay.

MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay. I can handle it.

TALIESIN: Oh!

ASHLEY: Oh, wait, you know what? I can do...

TALIESIN: Nice. I know what you're doing.

SAM: Then she'll go down.

MARISHA: Grab me and just keep--

ASHLEY: Fanatical something or other.

SAM: It's okay if she goes down.

ASHLEY: Because I can reroll and take either one to see--

TALIESIN: I keep forgetting to do that. Shit.

ASHLEY: -- which one to take of damage.

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: I'm going to reroll these. Okay. Way better, okay. So that would be... Hold on.

MARISHA: The Search for Beau?

MATT: You got your math there.

MARISHA: Search for Grog, Search for Beau.

SAM: Uh-huh.

ASHLEY: Okay, so. 29.

SAM: Ooh!

ASHLEY: Sorry, hold on. 21 points of damage.

MATT: Okay. That include your fire damage?

ASHLEY: That does not. 14 points of radiant damage.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Oh, I'm sorry. That's six points of fire damage, and I have to roll one more d6.

MATT: Great.

TRAVIS: That's awesome. That's awesome!

ASHLEY: Oh, all right. All right, that's an extra four points of damage.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: That's for first hit.

MATT: The first hit.

ASHLEY: Okay, second hit.

MATT: These are just standard against it?

ASHLEY: Standard--?

TRAVIS: Like regular hit.

MATT: Are you attacking against its hide or are you shooting for the higher AC eye?

ASHLEY: Oh, I was going for the eye.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: I was going for the eye.

MATT: For both of these strikes?

ASHLEY: Both of them.

MATT: All right. So roll your next attack.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: Okay, okay.

ASHLEY: Okay, that's good. Let me just see.

TALIESIN: Okay.

ASHLEY: Cocked. Cocked again, it's this dice. Okay, okay, so it was exactly the same.

MATT: If it's the same, it hits again. Then do damage to the next one.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: Caleb, you're on deck.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: I'm all in the water. I've got four out there.

ASHLEY: Plus 1d8.

LAURA: But I haven't gone yet.

ASHLEY: 18 points of damage and five points of fire damage.

MATT: Got you. 23 damage total. Got it. Great. (blade slicing) Strike back. This dark purple, black blood just filters out of the eye as you strike it, but not a large arc, as you cauterize the cut that you put across with your Scaldsaber. Pull back in the water as the water's rocking around you, both sides of its body writhing out of the water. You do a dual strike to each side, holding your own there.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: Does that finish your turn?

ASHLEY: It does, and I will... I am going to-- Okay. Can I do Sentinel with the duplicates, Jester's duplicates?

LAURA: No.

ASHLEY: Okay, because I was going to see if I could get in position to get you in range. Okay, that's my turn.

MATT: All right.

ASHLEY: I'm done.

MATT: Finishing your go, Yasha. Caleb, you're up, with Veth on deck.

LIAM: Okay. I want to close the distance with my 80 feet of flight. I've been counting those squares, I think I could get definitely to its face and also to Beauregard, but you tell me.

MATT: 80 feet is right there.

LIAM: So I could.

MATT: So you can get right up against it, yes.

MARISHA: We can still ask if we roll--

LIAM: Is it an action to grab Beau?

MATT: I would say, if you're going to pick her up, yes, it would be an action to grab her.

LIAM: Okay. I'm going to drop down lower, I want to get face to face with Uk'otoa.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: (deeply) Uk'otoa.

MATT: So we'll put you back.

LAURA: ♪ Uk'o, Uk'o, Uk'otoa ♪

SAM: Oh, yeah. Finish him off with love.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: Don't you know?

LIAM: He reaches out and grabs Uk'otoa by the side of the face and goes (retches) and vomits a chain of lightning. Now, before I do that, there's no pull in, gravitational fissure. It's a line, and I'm aiming it down through its gut so I'm not aiming at Beau.

MATT: Correct, yeah. When you're this close at this angle, you can hit both that and the back part of its body.

LIAM: I'll pierce through its jaw, I hope, through its belly, and into that one behind.

LAURA: And aim for an eye on the--

MATT: What's the spell DC, or the save DC on that?

LIAM: The lightning breath, DC 19 for a dex save.

MATT: For a dex save, okay.

MARISHA: And it's vulnerable.

LIAM: Vulnerable.

MATT: It is vulnerable. The first part does succeed.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: The second one does not.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: It doesn't have as high a dex save as other things. It's going to use a legendary resistance, however, to save. So it saves on both.

LIAM: But it's vulnerable, so it going to be full damage.

MATT: So it's full damage. Yes.

LIAM: And it's 12d10. Is that right?

LAURA: Are you aiming for--

LIAM: No, excuse me.

LAURA: -- an eye doing this?

LIAM: 12d10 lightning damage.

MATT: For the adult one? Yeah.

LIAM: Do I have--

ASHLEY: Holy shmoly.

LIAM: -- an eye right in front? I got the face right in front me and I can do that without hitting Beau? I can go (vomits) right over the eye with my mouth?

MATT: Sure, it's not going to-- Well, here's the thing. Attacks, the ones that focus on the eye--

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: Things like this are just standard damage to the space. You don't get to aim necessarily with a line, unfortunately.

LIAM: Cool, cool, cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. That's a lot of dice, so I'm just going to use this app. 12d10.

MATT: How could you pass up an opportunity to roll so many dice?

LIAM: Okay, so that's a full 62.

MATT: 62 points of lightning damage.

ASHLEY: What if he would've rolled more?

MARISHA: To both chunks?

LIAM: To both chunks, because they're both--

SAM: Damn.

ASHLEY: Twice? No.

SAM: How do you want to do this?

LIAM: Is all of Uk'otoa immune, or just the head right now?

MATT: Huh? No, it's all still one body.

LIAM: All still one, okay. So 62 on both chunks.

MATT: Both of them, all right. So that's 132 points of damage, is that correct?

TRAVIS: 62 doubled is--

LIAM: 124.

MATT: Oh, sorry, I was doing my math wrong, sorry.

TRAVIS: No, it's 162, for sure.

MATT: Wow, my brain was way off on that one. 124 points of lightning damage, (lighting streaking) through. You watch as the stream comes firing out of the dragon's mouth through the center of the jaw and blast this dark spot through, blasts out the back, and strikes the other part of its hide. As it does, smoke just pours out from around it inside its mouth as the head begins shaking in the air, Beau having to hold on as hard as you can.

MARISHA: Catch me.

MATT: But now there's these heavy dark spots and black burned, charred, very visible wounds on the outside of Uk'otoa in multiple places across the body.

LIAM: If I can, I would say that Caleb dragon and his two mirrors are pressed as close in as possible, and after sizzling and blackening, you hear this big, throaty voice go: Fick dich! Which means, "Fuck you" in German. (laughter)

TRAVIS and ASHLEY: Eyy!

MATT: Perfect.

MARISHA: Fish this?

SAM: Fix him!

LAURA: I know, I heard--

MARISHA: Fish dick!

LIAM: That works too.

TRAVIS: Fish dick.

LIAM: They both work.

TALIESIN: Equally well, yeah.

MATT: That finishes your turn?

LAURA: Fish dicks!

LIAM: All done, yes.

MATT: All right, it's going to use another legendary action at this point.

TRAVIS: But aren't you picking her up?

LIAM: No, that's an action. I used my action.

MATT: His tail is going to--

LIAM: We're gambling, we're gambling.

MATT: -- dip below the water. You do get an attack of opportunity against it.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: Come on!

ASHLEY: Reckless.

SAM: Get that tail!

MARISHA: Sentinel!

MATT: Reckless is on your turn.

ASHLEY: Reckless is on my turn?

MATT: For a reaction, you can't do Reckless.

TRAVIS: (like Jester) Do your duplicates get Reckless?

ASHLEY: That would be 22.

MATT: 22 still hits. (relieved sounds)

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: Is that Sentinel?

LAURA: No. Is that Sentinel? Can you Sentinel a tail?

MARISHA: Technically, if it's moving, yeah, right?

MATT: Yeah, that's what she's doing.

LAURA: Oh, okay. Amazing.

ASHLEY: Plus the d8. Okay, so that is going to be... Oh shit, hold on, hold on, hold on, I need some help.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah.

TRAVIS: Making my stomach gurgle, Matt, it's crazy.

TALIESIN: Yep, yep, yep.

TRAVIS: Ate all three meals from Taco Bell.

ASHLEY: Hold on. Am I doing this right? Sorry, give me two seconds.

LAURA: Are you hitting an eyeball as a reaction?

ASHLEY: I don't think-- no. Just the tail as its moving.

LAURA: Why not?

ASHLEY: Because I don't even think it was high enough, was it? No, wait, it was 22! It was 22, it was 22.

MATT: Well, you told me beforehand. You said 22, it's fine, you hit it.

ASHLEY: Okay, shit. All right, all right.

LIAM: Focus on me.

LAURA: I know it seems like I'm obsessed--

ASHLEY: 30 points of damage.

LAURA: -- but it's super important.

MATT: How much was that?

ASHLEY: Say again?

MATT: How much damage is that again?

ASHLEY: 30.

MATT: 30 damage, all right.

ASHLEY: And five points of fire damage.

SAM: What if I miss? Then nothing.

MATT: All right. You strike it. As you slice upward with the blade, you see it try and move beneath the waves, and you actually grab out with your hand and hold the back of the tail, and at that point, lightning strikes nearby, you feel the power of the Stormlord instill you, and as your muscles flex, you hold the tail there and prevent it from leaving.

ASHLEY: Don't you fucking move!

TRAVIS: Oh, that's some baller shit!

MARISHA: You're grabbing onto the fucking--

ASHLEY: You're not going anywhere!

TRAVIS: You leave--

LIAM: You're like Thor grabbing onto the World Serpent!

TRAVIS: -- when the Orphanmaker says you leave!

MATT: All right.

ASHLEY: Yes. You're in here with me!

MATT: Veth, you're up, with Jester on deck. Yes?

SAM: Question.

SAM: Do I still get advantage on attacks, or is that over?

MATT: No, that's over now.

SAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: Although, it's engaged in a couple places.

SAM: No, no, I get sneak attack, that's true. I'm looking for advantage. I want all, you know, I'm--

TALIESIN: Sure.

LIAM: (like Veth) Working the angles!

SAM: I'm working all the angles! Second question, from my sniper's nest, which is very lovely up here, by the way.

TRAVIS: It's very nice.

SAM: I'm just eating sunflower seeds. (laughter)

SAM: Can I see an eye, or is a big, blue dragon blocking my view?

MATT: There are eyes all over. You can see an eye wherever you want to look in that direction.

SAM: It doesn't matter which eye I hit at all?

MATT: No, it has eyes all over its body.

TRAVIS: They're not dropping off.

SAM: Is it engaged? Are other things engaged that I can--

MATT: Those are both engaged with Yasha.

SAM: Okay, so I will find an eye that I can see.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: And I will attack. I will charge up a Voltaic Bolt, this time at 3rd-level.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: It's vulnerable to lightning still, right?

MATT: No, that goes away.

TALIESIN: No.

MATT: The next strike that does it, it vanishes. It's a one time hit.

SAM: Then I will only Voltaic Bolt up to 2nd-level, and I will aim for an eye.

LAURA: Hey, I'm just saying--

SAM: Here we go.

MARISHA: Come on!

LAURA: Are his eyes (buzzes) flaring up? How much are his eyes flaring?

MATT: They're not super flared.

LAURA: Oh, okay. Whatever.

SAM: Whatever...

LAURA: I don't know, just, you might do a lot of damage, I'm just saying!

MATT: Are you aiming for an eye or not?

SAM: No.

MATT: Roll.

SAM: 32. (yelling)

MATT: Go ahead and roll damage.

SAM: I didn't want to waste the whole thing! (laughter)

LIAM: My god! My god!

SAM: Trust my instincts. (laughter)

LAURA: Oh my god, that is so much damage.

SAM: Oh, it's massive. Massive damage!

TRAVIS: The Everlight is like, ah!

MARISHA: It's good, it's good, it's fine, it's good.

TALIESIN: We're going to be fine.

MARISHA: (laughs)

TALIESIN: It's fine that three of us are, like, paper in the wind right now.

SAM: 58 points of damage.

MATT: 58 points of damage.

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

MATT: The eyes flare up angrily in response to the heavy impact.

LAURA: No!

MATT: But it's a heavy bit of damage to it, well done. All right, Veth, are you staying put on your crow's nest?

SAM: You can't murder me. I will stay in the crow's nest.

ASHLEY: You could have killed it.

SAM: Well, no, the eyes, if you hit the eyes, they don't do as much damage, they just--

LAURA: No, they do just as much damage, it's just they're harder to hit.

SAM: No, they don't, they reduce its fury, but they don't do as many hit point damage.

LAURA: Is that true?

MATT: It takes the same damage to both, it just has a much higher AC.

SAM: Yes. And it also reduces the fury.

LAURA: Yes, which is a good thing.

SAM: But I still did a lot of damage.

TRAVIS: It was great.

MATT: It was great, you did great. Let him enjoy his good damage.

LAURA: It's great damage!

TRAVIS and MARISHA: (Italian accent) It's good!

MATT: Does that end your turn?

SAM: I use the rest of my turn to tell Jester a joke.

LAURA: Oh god. (laughter)

SAM: Jester said to the Plank King, "Do you have a helm's wheel in your trousers?" The Plank King said, "Yes, and it's driving me nuts!" (laughter)

MATT: It's going to use its last legendary action at the end of your turn.

TRAVIS: No, no, no, no, no!

MARISHA: Taliesin predicted that one.

MATT: It's-- yeah. As it recoils, Uk'otoa (growls) looks around. You can see the eyes all shifting and glancing in the space. You feel that cold creep once more.

TRAVIS: Oh fuck.

LIAM: Fuck off, Uk'otoa.

MATT: "You're mine."

MARISHA: Fuck off.

MATT: Make a wisdom saving throw for me, please.

TALIESIN: Uk'otoa, comma, fuck off.

TRAVIS: But no advantage. No advantage.

LAURA: You can do it.

LIAM: Fuck off.

TRAVIS: Let's go with this new die.

TALIESIN: You're fine.

MARISHA: It's okay.

LIAM: Oh jeez.

LAURA: Oh.

TRAVIS: 12.

ASHLEY: No.

MATT: 12.

TALIESIN: Plus?

SAM: Oh.

MATT: That dark shadow of the ocean swallows you and you feel yourself, the bubbles leaving your lungs. You've been here before and that dark, but weirdly, awfully consoling voice Uk'otoa says, "I'll handle everything." You're flying still, right? What's your movement speed on flying?

TRAVIS: 60. Yeah, 60.

MATT: 60.

LIAM: Doesn't he have a dolphin tattoo or something?

MATT: Yeah, it's enough movement.

MARISHA: It's like a--

LIAM: A circle.

MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: Oh no.

MATT: You fly over onto the ship, land next to Jester, prone on the ground. Jester, you see Fjord rush over to you, heroically, land on the ground next to you.

LAURA: Hi, Fjord.

MATT: Turns to you and his eyes are yellow slits.

LAURA: Oh fuck.

TALIESIN: Curse of the Eyeless.

MATT: Curse of the Eyeless. Okay. So--

TRAVIS: Who, me?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yep.

MATT: All right.

SAM: Oskar?

TALIESIN: So yeah.

LAURA: What does that do?

TALIESIN: It's going to lower, is that cocked? Thank god that's cocked.

MATT: That was a legendary action that you did. Not an attack roll, right?

MATT: Correct.

TALIESIN: (frustrated noise)

SAM: What are all these?

TALIESIN: You can attack, anyway, while you're--

MATT: Well, Fjord, I need you to roll two attacks against Jester on the ground.

TRAVIS: Okay. With melee attacks?

MATT: Yep, with your sword.

LIAM: This is outside of Fjord's turn in combat. This is just juicing it.

MATT: Yes.

ASHLEY: Aw fuck.

TALIESIN: Fuck me.

TRAVIS: That's a 33.

MATT: 33, and a second attack.

TRAVIS: It's 22.

TALIESIN: Yeah, nope, nope.

MATT: Go ahead and roll damage against Jester, please.

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

TRAVIS: Murder most.

TALIESIN: That's another one of those down.

TRAVIS: Mercer. You're going to get me trouble. 16 points of slashing damage. Well, that's a one. So nine points of, it's 25.

SAM: That's total for both hits?

TRAVIS: 25 for both.

MATT: 25 points of slashing damage to you.

TRAVIS: You're not hexed or cursed and get all my other plussy pluses.

LAURA: Oh, that's great, I keep my concentration.

MATT: You maintain your concentration.

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: But Fjord just takes the blade and slashes you harshly across one's shoulder and then jabs it into your side before pulling it out. Suddenly, you come up for air, Fjord, and you're in the storm, and there's blood on your sword. Jester's on the ground covered in blood.

TRAVIS: Fuck you. Oh, fuck you. That's so fucked up.

MARISHA: Okay, okay, it's not a permanent thing.

LAURA: Oh my god.

MARISHA: Fuck!

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Fuck!

LIAM: Give me a call.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: Jester, it's your turn.

TALIESIN: Ah.

LAURA: It's okay, Fjord. I'm going to stand up. Are your eyes back to normal? Okay, good.

TALIESIN: You're so red.

LAURA: I'm going to look out at my duplicate and I'm going to send, one of them is going to stay close to Yasha. The other three are going to go into the middle around here.

MATT: Okay. What's the movement they can move?

LAURA: They can move 30 feet.

MATT: 30 feet there.

TALIESIN: Amazing.

MATT: 30 feet there. This one here is going to do the same.

LAURA: Yeah, they're all going to move into a little circle together. Close, like a little clumpies.

MATT: Okay, I see. So up here?

LAURA: Yeah. And they're going to hold hands.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: And dance around in a little circle.

ASHLEY: Ring Around the Rosie.

LAURA: Yeah, like Ring Around the Rosie.

LIAM: When will we three meet--

LAURA: I'm going to look at Fjord and I'm going say: I think this is what you call character growth. And I'm going to cast Mass Heal from my duplicates. (gasping)

MATT: Oh shit!

ASHLEY and TRAVIS: What?!

TRAVIS: You set up a network?

LIAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Oh shit!

ASHLEY: That is so fucking smart.

LAURA: Within 60 feet of my duplicates.

TRAVIS: No wonder you were sweating it.

LAURA: If I had of lost that concentration, I would've been fucked. It casts from the duplicates, the spell.

SAM: Are they staying within 60 feet of us.

LAURA: So yeah, one is within 60 feet of the people on the boat.

MATT: So you can restore up to 700 hit points.

LAURA: 700 hit points.

LIAM: Whoa!

MATT: Divided as you wish.

MARISHA: She is the healer.

TRAVIS: Whoa, what a fucking move!

SAM: What?

MARISHA: Let's fucking go.

TRAVIS: What a move!

SAM: 700?

LIAM: We stan a blue horned queen. That's more healing than she did in the entire campaign. (laughter)

MATT: I think mathematically, you might be right.

TALIESIN: Technically speaking, I mean, I'm sure we can have, it's a hundred points a piece just evenly divided.

LAURA: Yeah, just evenly, but I don't think everybody needs that. So Fjord, what are you at?

TRAVIS: I'm at 46.

LAURA: How much do you need to be fully healed?

TRAVIS: One--

MARISHA: (grunting)

TRAVIS: 200 would do me.

LAURA: 200 for Fjord?

TRAVIS: No, no, no, less than that. 160.

LAURA: 160 for Fjord. Okay.

LAURA: So that puts me at--

MATT: Dang.

LIAM: Damn. Power move.

TALIESIN: That's a lot.

LAURA: 540, okay. How much do you need, Beau?

MARISHA: I need 152, if I'm going to go big.

LAURA: 152. Okay.

LIAM: Oh shit.

LAURA: I can math, I can math.

LIAM: Where you at?

TRAVIS: You can actually add one hit point there.

MARISHA: I have seven hit points.

LIAM: Oh shit.

ASHLEY: Oh my god!

MARISHA: I've been riding seven hit points for a minute.

LIAM: You're on that mechanical bull.

LAURA: Then four minus one is 388 is what I'm at. No, no, I'm at 488 now, right? 388. I was right the first time. 388. What do you-- I need? (laughs) I need a hundred and--

TRAVIS: How long did it take him to make that mini?

SAM: I need 126.

LAURA: First, let's get Kingsley.

TALIESIN: I need 141, but again, we'll divide this as we need.

LAURA: 140 for Kingsley. Okay. So what's 388 minus 140?

SAM: 388 minus 140 is 248.

LAURA: Okay, 248. So I'll take my one, what do I need, 126?

SAM: What is it? 163 minus 37. You need 126.

ASHLEY: 71.

LAURA: 248.

SAM: Minus 126 is 122 left.

LAURA: 122 left.

ASHLEY: 71 for me.

LAURA: 71 for Yasha.

SAM: You have 51 left.

LAURA: 51, and I'll give that to Caleb in his dragon form. Have you taken any?

LIAM: My human healing points, even though I'm barely--

LAURA: Well, then I give it to Veth. The last 50 go to Veth.

SAM: 51.

MATT: All righty.

MARISHA: So we're all back, we're all back?

SAM: We're all back.

TRAVIS: I don't believe it. That was unbelievable.

ASHLEY: Holy smokes. God, what a good idea.

TALIESIN: That was a very big spell.

TRAVIS: No wonder you were slow rolling that.

ASHLEY: Yep. That was fucking smart.

MATT: Fucking clutch. Does that finish your turn, Jester? You want to move? You got 15 feet of movement still.

LAURA: I'm just going to hug Fjord and say: You have to fight that. Don't do that again, okay?

TRAVIS: I'm sorry.

LAURA: That's okay.

TRAVIS: (deeply) I'm sorry. (yelling) (laughter)

MATT: At that moment, you hear the captain go, "Fire!"

SAM: Nice.

MATT: (explosions) The cannons go off again. If I can have six more attack rolls plus six.

ASHLEY: I don't do one.

MARISHA: Do one this time.

TALIESIN: I'll sit out.

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: Sit out?

TRAVIS: Where's my dice? Where's my number one?

ASHLEY: What are we adding?

MATT: Plus six.

ASHLEY: 16.

MARISHA: Oh yeah.

MATT: 16 unfortunately misses.

MARISHA: Wait, plus what, plus six?

TRAVIS: 19.

MATT: 19 hits.

MARISHA: 21.

MATT: Hits.

LIAM: Natural one.

MATT: Miss.

SAM: 19.

MATT: That's a hit.

LAURA: 16.

MATT: Miss.

SAM: So three hits.

MATT: So three hits. 4d10 bludgeoning damage.

TRAVIS: 4d10.

MARISHA: For each of us, right?

MATT: For each of the hits, yeah.

SAM: I'll take those dice now.

TRAVIS: I can't ever see the--

LAURA: I'm not going to give you my nice ones now. You did this to yourself.

MARISHA: Nice.

ASHLEY: She was giving you the prime.

LAURA: I really did.

TRAVIS: 16 points for me.

MATT: 16.

TRAVIS: 4d10, right?

MATT: Yep. Reduced to half.

MARISHA: 32.

MATT: 32, that's great.

MATT: Yeah, I rolled two tens and a seven and a five.

MATT: Great. So once again, these are impacting for half damage, but still, it all helps.

SAM: 26.

MATT: 26, 14. Bludgeoning damage the sides.

MARISHA: I got to pee.

SAM: No, don't pee. It's all the rain, isn't it?

MATT: Finishing that, it comes back to Uk'otoa's turn. All the legendary actions are back. Furious. The ocean is choppier and choppier still. Uk'otoa is going to-- Oh, I get to roll and see if it get its-- No, it does not get Tidal Wave back, unfortunately.

TRAVIS: (laughs) Please. Oh my god.

LIAM: Unfortunately.

TRAVIS: Make us endure 700 feet of tidal waves.

MATT: I mean, I would've loved to have done it. No, it's going to-- Yeah, it's going to multiattack. It's going to be a slam against--

LIAM: (growling)

MATT: That's going to slam against you.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Because you're dragon form.

LIAM: That's what I got in his face for.

MATT: That's going to be 20?

LIAM: (deeply) Shield.

MATT: Because you can do that in your--

TRAVIS: Dragons can do Shield?!

MATT: Well, in the spell he's using, Shapechange, he gets to the cast spells.

LAURA: You still get to cast spells?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: The tendrils whips out to try and grab you--

LIAM: That's what hurt Beau with the fucking spell.

MATT: -- and just ricochets off of this arcane form, this field that appears around the dragon.

TRAVIS: (laughs) Cool! And it speaks German. Zemnian.

LIAM: I mean, Raishan could do it. Why not me?

MATT: You're right.

MATT: Move around slightly. This one's going to.

LAURA: Is the ice ending?

LIAM: Oh, question.

MATT: Trying to pull away.

LAURA: Oh.

LIAM: Question, before-- Before I use that spell slot, it has to see if it hits one of my mirror images.

LAURA: Oh, that's right.

TRAVIS: Oh, because there's three of them over here?

LIAM: Yeah. Yeah.

MATT: That's true.

LIAM: So.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I guess it hasn't rocked your concentration or anything.

LIAM: No. d20 to determine. If you have three, must roll a six or higher to-- Okay. That's a nine. So one of the illusions gets smacked.

MATT: Okay, so you keep--

LIAM: I don't use Shield.

MATT: -- your first level spell.

LIAM: Yes. (laughter)

LIAM: I want my Shield.

TALIESIN: And that's normal movement. There's no weird dash action going on in here?

LAURA: Yeah, you didn't use your reaction.

MATT: No. It can only move 20 feet for each of those pieces because it's just, the ice is keeping it. It's trying to break free.

TALIESIN: Curious if it was trying to push faster than it should.

MATT: Mm-mm.

TALIESIN: Because if it does, I get to fuck with it.

MATT: This one, however, can (moving) over here.

SAM: Oh no.

MATT: Actually, it can move pretty far. This one's going to move to here. This one is going to (creature moving)

ASHLEY: I have its tail.

MATT: Yeah, you do, but you haven't--

ASHLEY: Well.

MATT: Now it's a new turn. You've already used your reaction. You haven't got it back yet, so now it can move.

LAURA: Oh.

TRAVIS: Yep.

LAURA: Whoa!

TRAVIS: Yo!

SAM: Oh no.

LAURA: Down and around.

MATT: It's going to attempt to bite you again, Beauregard.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: Natural 20.

TRAVIS: Damn!

MATT: Finally I got one.

TRAVIS: We're going to find out what that's like.

MATT: I was excited. Okay.

MARISHA: Thank god you healed me.

TRAVIS: Oh, that's interesting.

MARISHA: I don't have Patient Defense anymore, unfortunately.

LIAM: I got to pee.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: It's going around.

LIAM: Big battle.

LAURA: Big battle. Big battle.

MAIRSHA: Do I have any type of dodge or anything, no?

MATT: You take 56 points of piercing damage.

TALIESIN: Oh.

MATT: Plus-- Oh man.

SAM: Wow.

MATT: Okay. 24 points of poison damage, but you're immune to poison.

SAM: Good.

MATT: And I need you to make a dexterity saving throw.

MARISHA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Come on, baby.

SAM: Or go in the belly.

MARISHA: I'm going to use a ki point to reroll that.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Not that much better. 19.

MATT: (jaws snapping shut)

TRAVIS: Oh no.

MATT: Beauregard is thrown down in front of its face. It bucks you and you're hanging on to the side of its head, and then kicks you up and then snaps you and you are swallowed.

TALIESIN: Oh shit.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: Then the tail is coming for... It's going to go for Jester. (laughs)

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: It's pissed now. You healed everybody. That's going to be a 19 to hit.

LAURA: Oh, so close.

TALIESIN: God, I wish I had that fucking Eyeless up. Next time. It's going up immediately.

MATT: It's getting some vengeance rounds here. That's 27 points of bludgeoning damage.

TALIESIN: Oof.

MATT: And 14 points of acid damage.

MATT: And 14 points of acid damage.

LAURA: Ow. Oh wait. Do I-- Wait. Am I? No. 14. Okay.

MATT: Okay. That's going to end-- No, it still as a slam attack too, right? Yeah, it does.

TALIESIN: Jesus.

MATT: It's going to slam attack you, Yasha. That's going to be a 30 to hit.

ASHLEY: That hits.

TALIESIN: Yeah, hit you with that.

MATT: So with that, you take...

SAM: This thing is powerful.

MATT: 20 points of bludgeoning damage, reduced to 10, and 18 points of acid damage.

ASHLEY: Could I Absorb Elements?

MATT: You can, if you want to. Oh no. You don't have a reaction, though. You used it to--

ASHLEY: I don't have a reaction, never mind. 18, you said?

MATT: Yes.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: I do need you to make a strength saving throw for me.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: As the tendrils are attempting to grapple you.

ASHLEY: 22.

MATT: 22, you are not grappled. All right, it's now furious--

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay, okay.

MATT: -- and showing a lot of wear and tear. That ends its turn. For the legendary actions, it's going to do--

TALIESIN: Damn. It's just going, isn't it? Shit.

MATT: It's going to Battering Winds again. So now the winds pick up again. Everyone is above water, difficult terrain to move. It's kind of tough on the flyers. That brings us to Fjord. Kingsley, you're on deck.

TALIESIN: All right.

TRAVIS: Am I within melee range of his tail?

MATT: You can move closer to it and be within melee range.

TRAVIS: I'll stay out. I'll stay out, I'll stay out, I'll stay out.

MATT: Sorry, you are within its melee, but it is not within yours.

TRAVIS: Oh, that's right.

MATT: It has a 20-foot reach on the tail.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Fuck it. Why not? I'm going to wink at Jester, and I'm going to, right in the middle of the boat, cast Arcane Gate.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: 10-foot portal.

SAM: Counterspell.

TALIESIN and LAURA: (laugh)

TRAVIS: Boop. Then the other portal will appear--

MATT: I'll use this for it here.

TRAVIS: 120 feet out here so I can get myself a motherfucking shooting gallery. I can make it a hundred feet just to make it simple.

MATT: There.

TRAVIS: Great.

LAURA: Oh, that's so cool.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Is that 120 feet? Great.

MATT: I can go further off, if you wanted to.

TRAVIS: I'll do the whole 120, just so I can be as far away as possible.

MATT: I'm going to say about there. That'll work.

TRAVIS: I just appear outside. I move through it.

LIAM: Cool.

ASHLEY: Fun.

TRAVIS: I'll...

LIAM: That's really cool.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I think--

MARISHA: Oh yeah. Oh cool.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: Because that stays up, yeah?

TRAVIS: Yep.

MARISHA and ASHLEY: Yep.

TRAVIS: That will be my... Yeah, that'll be my turn.

MATT: All right. Kingsley, you're up. Beau, you're on deck.

MARISHA: Copy.

TALIESIN: All right--

MATT: At the end of that turn, it's going to make another tail attack against Jester. It hates that you healed everybody. Very visibly seen.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: That's going to be 20 to hit?

LAURA: Yeah, that hits.

TALIESIN: God fucking shit, fuck, piss.

MATT: You're fighting Uk'otoa, y'all.

TALIESIN: (incoherent grumbling)

MATT: It rolled really shitty for damage, though.

LAURA: I feel like I-- Yeah.

TALIESIN: You doing all right?

LAURA: Why not?

TALIESIN: You're okay. You're okay!

MATT: 16 points of bludgeoning damage.

LAURA: 16.

TALIESIN: Oof, yeah.

MATT: Plus 13 points of acid damage.

LAURA: Jesus. 16 plus 13?

MATT: Indeed. All right, Kingsley. Beau on deck.

TALIESIN: Fuck it. I'm...

LAURA: I'm concentrating. I'm rolling really well on my concentration, so I've just rolled.

MATT: Yeah you are, jeez.

LAURA: Natural 20 on it.

MARISHA: Again?

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Yes!

LAURA: I rolled 21 on my previous one, and it did 42 points, so half that was 21. That's what I need.

MATT: That's perfect.

TALIESIN: You all right?

LAURA: (slurring)

TALIESIN: I'll be back. Or no, I won't. Fuck it. I'm going to hold onto the new sword, and I'm just going to grip very, very hard and I'm going to start almost bleeding into the snake--

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: -- style hilt, and I am going to activate Fang of Spire King.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: So, am I within hitting distance of that piece of shit over there?

ASHLEY: Of that ass?

MATT: You are.

TALIESIN: All right.

TRAVIS: That ass?

LIAM: I see you, baby.

TALIESIN: Hey!

MATT: Are you moving to this one here?

ASHLEY: Shakin' that ass.

TALIESIN: Yeah, yeah. I'm just taking--

MATT: You'd have to get there. So 10 feet to get within melee of it.

TALIESIN: Okay, so 10 feet.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: I'm going to take my attack with advantage. Natural 20.

LIAM: Yo!

LAURA: Nice!

TALIESIN: Oh, this is going to get real weird.

LIAM: Cut it up.

TALIESIN: This is going to get real, real weird. Oh boy. I have just had e-fucking-nough, and it is going to get very heavy. Okay, let's start this insanity. Start with these dice. That's a seven doubled, 14.

ASHLEY: I'm going to write these down.

TALIESIN: Let's do the--

ASHLEY: Not that you don't have a pen.

TALIESIN: Fire damage, which is seven doubled, 14.

TRAVIS: 28.

TALIESIN: Let's do the normal-ass damage.

SAM: Normal damage.

TALIESIN: It's just piercing.

LAURA: Beau is in its belly right now, right?

MATT: Yes.

TALIESIN: Three, double to six plus nine, 15. Then I also got a 1d10 force damage because it's just going right now.

TRAVIS: 43. Which is five, double to 10, just--

TRAVIS: 53.

MATT: 53.

TALIESIN: -- crawling into the thing, pushing through the eye.

MATT: (blade slicing) Into it there. All right, all the lights kind flicker up and then are reduced from the severe damage it's taken. You can now see the eyes are moving. You see a hint of fear--

SAM: Ooh.

MATT: -- in them.

SAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: I'm going to release and go again.

LIAM: Bitch, you thought!

TALIESIN: Because we are not-- Going to fucking end this motherfucker.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

TALIESIN: 18, that hits.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: So get back to the things that I know that I have.

SAM: How are you going to get out?

TALIESIN: 16 normal damage plus 11 fire damage.

MARISHA: I told Taliesin Jaffe I have ideas.

TALIESIN: And one force damage.

LAURA: I have a thought.

MARISHA: I have a thought.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I have an idea.

TALIESIN: Just (whooshes). Quick roll.

MATT: Carving through it.

TALIESIN: I give a little bow and I run straight into the portal.

MATT: So that's 20 feet and you blink to the other side.

TALIESIN: Then here's the question. Is it full speed on the water or no?

MATT: Because of the wind, technically everything is difficult terrain. So that would've been 40 feet you've moved.

TALIESIN: Thankfully I have 70 feet of movement.

MATT: Indeed because your speed is--

TALIESIN: Also, I can swim underwater and I have full speed underwater thanks to a ring I have.

MATT: Then yeah, you can do that.

TALIESIN: So I'm going to wave, dive under the water, and head straight towards that fucking head.

MATT: 30 feet this way.

TRAVIS: Have fun storming the castle!

MATT: There you go. Swimming through, blade in your side, dolphining it. Perfect. Ending your turn. Beau, you're up. Yasha, you're on deck.

TRAVIS: How does that look underwater?

MARISHA: I still have equipped the Cape of Mountebank, which means I get one Dimension Door.

SAM: Oh wow!

LIAM: Oh shit! Oh, that's a good item to have right now!

MARISHA: So as I'm in his side--

TRAVIS: You sitting on that. You ain't say shit over here!

MARISHA: I've just been waiting, only when it's needed.

SAM: She had plans.

MARISHA: Wrap myself in the cape and I go: (muffled) Smoke bomb, in its gut. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Oh my god!

MATT: Where are you Dimension Dooring?

MARISHA: Onto the ship, next to Jester.

LIAM: Nice.

MATT: All right.

SAM: Amazing.

TRAVIS: Awesome.

MATT: Right there, back onto the ship.

MARISHA: Covered in gut juice.

MATT: Yep, just covered in it.

TRAVIS: Is that saliva in any way acidic? Is it like (acid sizzling)?

MATT: The saliva and the interior of its body has an acidic texture to it, the rain does wash it off quickly, and it's not going to affect you, because you managed to escape from its inside.

TRAVIS: Yo!

MARISHA: Oh!

TRAVIS: This is such a good fight!

MARISHA: Oh, it's gross! Patient Defense, I'm going to take my bonus action to just gear up.

MATT: You got it.

TRAVIS: Shake out your arms.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: You're done. Yasha, you're up.

ASHLEY: All right, all right.

MATT: Caleb on deck.

LIAM: Still in the bad wind?

MATT: Actually, at the end of-- Sorry, at the end of the turn, it's going to use another legendary action to attack. It's going to try and slam into you, Yasha.

SAM: Beau's out.

TALIESIN: Am I technically--

LAURA: Again?

SAM: No, no, out of the dragon's belly.

TALIESIN: Am I technically have Brand of the Eyeless available, since it's just one creature who's making this attack?

LAURA: Oh, you went through the--

MARISHA: I Dimension Doored.

MATT: Are you maintaining it for the whole time?

TALIESIN: I was about to bring it back up, it's been down.

MATT: Okay, then yeah, you can.

TALIESIN: Up to hit it, because I had to wait. All right, Brand of the Eyeless.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: Let me take my damage.

MATT: So that's going to put it at-- It's a 24 to hit, but we'll see much damage you take and what the--

TALIESIN: 21 to hit, sorry.

MATT: Okay, 21, so it still hits you.

SAM: It's just all an illusion because we're all drunk.

TALIESIN: I take two points of damage.

MATT: What the fuck? Double ones on the damage dice again.

LAURA: Yay!

SAM: Yeah! Eat it, DM!

MATT: So that is 10 points of bludgeoning damage to you, Yasha, reduced to five.

ASHLEY: Okay.

SAM: Loser.

LAURA: Don't do that.

MATT: Nine points of acid damage.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LAURA: Any Hot Boys, Hottie Boys left?

SAM: I'm right here.

LAURA: Are there any hot-- Can I have some? Oh, it's empty.

LAURA: You were going to town on the Hottie Boys.

TRAVIS: You know we're going to town over here.

MATT: Yasha, what're you doing?

ASHLEY: All right. I am going for another attack on the eyes.

MATT: All right.

ASHLEY: Reckless.

SAM: Just a full box of Jim & Tims.

MARISHA: Because no one like Jim & Tims?

SAM and MARISHA: (laugh)

ASHLEY: Almost a 20, cocked again. I know, it's this dice, okay.

TALIESIN: Cage dice, man.

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Leather and cage dice.

ASHLEY: 27.

MATT: 27 definitely hits.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: Rolling cage dice on leather is such a--

LAURA: Don't!

MARISHA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: I'm going to roll again.

TALIESIN: Forgot that I can do that, I keep forgetting.

ASHLEY: Oh, wait. Okay.

TALIESIN: Ooh.

SAM: What's going on over there?

ASHLEY: I'm counting. I'm sorry I take so long.

TALIESIN: That's so much counting.

ASHLEY: Fuck, fuck, fuck.

TRAVIS: Jim and Tim under the table.

ASHLEY: Okay, 28.

MARISHA and LAURA: She's come-on-ing.

ASHLEY: Plus fire damage. Oh, and I roll one more, sorry. Extra six.

MATT: All right.

ASHLEY: So 30 something or other?

MATT: Yep, that's 34.

ASHLEY: That's the first hit. Yeah.

MATT: Yep. Second hit?

ASHLEY: Second hit.

SAM: That was on the first hit?

TRAVIS: Come on!

ASHLEY: Reckless.

SAM: She's a beast.

ASHLEY: That's pretty good. Okay. 29.

MATT: 29, that hits, go ahead and roll damage.

ASHLEY: Okay.

SAM: But do it in that classic Yasha accent.

ASHLEY: 21 plus--

SAM: There we go.

ASHLEY: Four points of fire damage.

MATT: Okay, now Yasha, you guiding this, but I'm asking: Mighty Nein, how do you want to do this? (cheering)

LAURA: What? What?

TRAVIS: Ooh hoo hoo!

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: On the whole Uk'ie Cookie?

ASHLEY: Whole Uk'ie Cookies. Okay, if I'm close to the body after taking some swipes, I want to take some of the tentacles and wrap them and hold them in place.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Fjord!

MATT: (slashes) She strikes, grab his tentacles, and it's holding it against the ocean water.

ASHLEY: He's all yours!

MATT: The clouds open up slightly, you see energy strike a bolt of lightning hits Yasha and it causes your muscles to lock into place, the strength of the Stormlord--

LAURA: Oh, hot!

MATT: -- helping you hold Uk'otoa's body in place. You can see it's trying to ride and pull and sink below, but Yasha's holding it like an anchor. What are you all doing?

ASHLEY: This is not my kill to have.

SAM: Oh my god!

TRAVIS: Caleb, I need the lightning! I would float up and start flying towards the head of Uk'otoa, but holding out the Star Razor for Caleb like a target.

ASHLEY: It's like a lightning rod.

TRAVIS: Just hit it.

LIAM: Hit that blade, sure.

MATT: All right.

LIAM: All right, so Caleb Dragon is going to fly, oh, he's going to wheel around and go, (craws). Well, do I need to recharge or at this point?

MATT: I'm just going to allow it.

LIAM: Cool, so, (dragon screech) and then he's going to fly up into the air and you see him go 50, 60, 70 feet in the air and that blue dragon goes (whooshing). Suddenly you see a massive turtle shell and a dragon turtle drops out of the sky and goes (exploding) on Uk'otoa's head and then rolls into the water. (laughter)

SAM: Sure.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: Sure.

TRAVIS: Slammed him.

MATT: So we'll say at this point, you're now doing the lightning first, you said? So you're doing the lightning.

LIAM: I went wah! (foosh)

MATT: Well, you're doing the wah onto your swords. So we're combining this maneuver. So as you pull up your blade and you're going in, he strikes, breathes lightning towards where you're striking. What do you do, Fjord?

TRAVIS: I would unleash all four Eldritch Blasts into the section right behind his skull. Like (thuds) (lightning strike).

ASHLEY: Flying through the air?

TRAVIS: I just hit him, yeah.

MATT: Great, so all bolts impact, eyes (bursts) are off. Those are bursting, point by point, the blade sinks into the hilt into Uk'otoa right as your lightning hits it like a lightning rod, arcing around its body, you see all the different parts of it shaking as it's trying to pull away, as you're holding it, the energy coming into you, meeting your Stormlord lightning, and you push it back out and clutch even harder. What are the rest of you doing?

TALIESIN: I see it trying to run away or trying to get away, I'm going to float right up, get on its back and start cutting off a piece of the skin so I can have some leather. (laughter)

LAURA: Ooh. Like as it's writhing?

TALIESIN: A huge, big piece.

ASHLEY: It is really cute.

TALIESIN: As it's going, I also flare the brand and the big dark bleeding red eye on its head that's been holding it together, starts doing the psychic damage because it's trying to flee and does not get to.

MATT: All right. Beau and Jester?

LAURA: Jester's going to dance over to the edge of the boat and while everything's happening, she's going to reach out her hand and Inflict Wounds. (laughter)

MATT: The tail begins to grow pitch black as the outside of its tail begins to crust over with necrotic flesh that becomes flaky and gray. Beau, Veth?

MARISHA: Beau is going to vault off of the front of the side of the ship over here onto this little mound.

MATT: That Yasha's holding.

MARISHA: Going to, once again, dig my claws into the eye and I'm going to find that nerve and pull out that sensitivity to lightning damage to really harness whatever lightning blast Fjord is about to come at him with.

MATT: You got it.

SAM: Did Fjord already lightning blast?

TRAVIS: Well, I'll arc down. I'll save one, one last one.

MATT: Yeah, you get the final one on this.

SAM: Okay, seeing Fjord's lightning coming, which one are you striking?

LAURA, LIAM, and SAM: Come-on-ing.

SAM and LAURA: The come-on-ing.

TRAVIS: The head.

SAM: The head, okay. I'm going to do something that would never work in D&D, but I'm going to make it work for now.

MATT: Sure.

SAM: I'm use the rigging to swing down through the portal.

LAURA: Yes!

ASHLEY: Yes, awesome! (cheering)

SAM: Then when I pop out there, I throw the Fluffernutter right at-- (laughter)

SAM: -- intercept of the arc of his sword coming down. (laughter)

MATT: Yes! All right, so.

LAURA: I see it through the portal as I'm: (shouts) Fluffernutter!

MATT: The Fluffernutter is thrown as you blast it, the lightning strikes into it, do you go to withdraw the blade and do a final blow?

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'll pick it up and say: These were never your oceans, pretender, they belong to her.

SAM: Ooh!

TRAVIS: Daddy's calling. (cheering)

MATT: Right as the blade comes in, the Fluffernutter blows your ass into the air.

TRAVIS: (screams) (laughter)

SAM: Fuck you, Fjord!

MATT: This massive, exposed crater in the face of Uk'otoa is blown open, you can see the interior purple flesh and brain exposed as it slithers into the ocean below. You watch as it curls in like a spider pulls its legs, and it seems to almost grow taut, like it's pulling itself into the tightest knot it can as it sinks and sinks. In that moment, the victory hits and washes over you, but you still sense its presence.

MARISHA: Oh.

LAURA: Oh no.

MARISHA: Oh, yeah, Fjord, use your new tattoo!

SAM: Wait, what?

TRAVIS: Huh?

LAURA: You still sense Uk'otoa's presence?

MATT: You brought him low, but you can't kill the beast.

MARISHA: You've got to chain him!

LAURA: Chain him!

MARISHA: With your...

LAURA: You got to hit him with the thing!

MARISHA: With your Mark of Zehir!

TRAVIS: With my tattoo?

SAM: How do you do that?

LIAM: Fjord, a dragon turtle rises up under you like a mount.

TRAVIS: (screams) My greatest fear!

LIAM: I start to drag you down into the water towards Uk'otoa.

SAM: Oh god.

MATT: All right. So as the dragon turtle lifts you up and you grab the shell as it descends below, the rain and the storm begins to slowly vanish, instead the bubbles and faint bits of light peeking through. You're now being pulled deeper into the depths, the nightmare of Uk'otoa itself, returning to you as you see the tangled, taut form of your patron plunging fast into the dark depths, you can glance down and see that its wounds are beginning to seal up. It's beginning to heal itself.

ASHLEY: No!

MATT: It's recovering slowly from the battle that just took place.

SAM: It's okay, let it go.

MATT: What's your swimming speed?

LIAM: It's 40, but if I dash, right?

MATT: If you dash.

LIAM: Yeah, 80.

MATT: All right.

LIAM: I'm just a delivery service.

MATT: So it's lowering itself. You're trying to keep up and it's sinking. It's sinking at about an even speed. Fjord, what is your swimming speed?

TRAVIS: It's my speed. So my flying currently was 60, but my normal walking speed is 40.

MATT: Right, so using Caleb's speed to get you close, but you can't quite get up, you might be able to jump off and then vaulting, use your swimming speed to maybe get within range.

LAURA: Yes!

TRAVIS: Yeah, yes.

MATT: You kick off the shell and swim rapidly, kicking your legs behind you. The light is now vanishing and all you see is the outer slowly dissipating shadow of your nightmare. You approach it and you touch it. What do you do?

TRAVIS: Ah, Jesus! I'll close my eyes and call out to Zehir. Your lap dog should be sealed away forever. Into the darkness, I condemn him! I'll push, focusing on the mark, I'll push everything into the body of Uk'otoa.

MATT: Your entire chest burns with an intense flame. It hurts and every part of you wants to scream and claw, but you hold tight. Your sense of vengeance and finality that much stronger. You tightly close your eyes and as you open them, looking forward, your armor is burning away. Your chest is exposed and the water and proximity is starting to boil off of you. You, seeing this, these fiery red runes are glowing off of Fjord and alighting the space down there like a super heated piece of metal that is resisting being quelched outside of a blacksmith. Fjord, you are searing into it and as you do, the runes from your chest translocate through your arms, begin to reach across the body of Uk'otoa, and as they spread and glow, you watch as it begins to sink faster and faster, you hold on and being pulled with it, faster and faster. You can't keep up. It's like the water is just air and it's being yanked to the bottom of the ocean. Eventually, as the runes finally leave your flesh, you feel it hit the ground. All at once, they brighten up the ocean around you, the water becomes increasingly hot in an instant. You feel like you're boiling. And with that, it's gone.

LAURA: Oh!

MATT: And just three crystals-- (gasping)

MATT: -- begin to float. The pressure is extreme here and you're having a hard time. You feel you may lose consciousness if you stay here much longer at the depths of the Lucidian Ocean.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I will kick up off the surface.

LAURA: You got all three of the--

TRAVIS: I grabbed them.

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Yeah. I have one-- I have one 5th-level spell and I will use it to cast Far Step.

MATT: Okay, kicking up, you appear up and you apparate in the water next to the Caleb Turtle.

LIAM: (dragon turtle gurgles)

TRAVIS: Let's go home. My head hurts, quickly.

MATT: You pick up Fjord and you swim back up to the surface of the water while the rest of you stand there, looking around, you're hoping that they have this handled. Gathering your breath, seeing the intensity of the storm begin to slowly waver now into a gentle rain above. The turtle emerges with Fjord, now armor shattered from the chest, your armor is destroyed.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah.

MATT: But arms curled, they're wrapped almost in a ball on the top of the shell as the ocean water rolls off of him and the shell of the turtle's back.

LAURA: Fjord, you're naked! Totally, completely naked!

TRAVIS: I'm riding a turtle!

LAURA: You look awesome!

SAM: You're turtling!

TRAVIS: I stand up and I say: I think we did it! I'll hold out the spheres for them all to see. We'll have to find something to do with these, though. I think I'm done carrying them for a while.

MARISHA: Are they like paper weights now that Uk'otoa's gone?

TRAVIS: Do they look inert or are they the same vibrant Cloven Crystals as before?

MATT: It feels to you like the cycle has begun anew. (gasping)

LAURA: Wow.

TRAVIS: They're fine. (laughter)

TRAVIS: (gagging) (laughter)

MATT: To that point, as you're saying this, you do note that there is a black rune that still is burned into the chest.

LAURA: Oh.

SAM: Oh, that's the mark.

LAURA: Fjord.

TRAVIS: It's all right. Gives me character. Makes me look tough.

LAURA: Well, yeah, but it also makes you have a pact with some horrible Betrayer God.

TALIESIN: Again.

TRAVIS: I don't know if that's true.

MARISHA: Can you still sense Zehir?

TRAVIS: I'll close my eyes, extend Divine Sense, and feel for both the Wildmother and any inkling of Zehir.

MATT: As you extend your consciousness, you feel that dark anchor of Zehir, and it's odd, because it's a much smaller hook than the one that Uk'otoa had within you, but even that shard feels so immensely twisted that it frightens you on an equal if not more scale. But you also feel the conflict of something growing warm within you. The Wildmother's presence has never left, only temporarily kept at bay, and as you concentrate and feel that warmth grow through you, the rest of you watch as the clouds above begin to break, and a beam of sunlight begins to protrude from the storm. It softly opens across the water of the top of the shell across Fjord, and in that moment, you watch as a single vine begins to grow, and another, and almost like a small fern, leaves begin to sprout from the sides of this, and you feel that cold begin to shrink and shrink, until eventually there's just a knotted mass of gentle greenery that then turns to a brown and crumbles and falls away, the mark gone. (gasping)

LAURA: Can it be a badass tattoo, though, that the Wildmother left on you? This nature tattoo on your chest?

MATT: You can certainly get that done. You know a guy who could do it.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we know a guy.

LAURA: That's awesome. Hey, nice!

TRAVIS: Yeah, I mean, that's certainly a hell of a way to finish things. Is our boat still seaworthy?

SAM: Ship.

TRAVIS: Ship!

TALIESIN: Thank you.

MATT: You glance over, and Captain Adella is like, "So, we're done, right? We're good?"

LIAM: (growls)

LAURA: Oh!

MATT: "Sure, of course, why not? This has been--"

MARISHA: Did we have any casualties?

MATT: "No casualties beyond just a mighty repair budget, but like you said, fortune. That's not on top of the agreement. We'll deal with that when we get back to land. You done standing on the water? You want to get inside where it's warm?"

SAM: Yes, please.

TALIESIN: It's time to get to work.

TRAVIS: Inside is great. We'll discuss your fortune on the way back, and might I interest you in a small shipping venture called Stone's Throw Shipping?

MATT: "I'm listening." As you move out of the sunlight--

MARISHA: I like it.

MATT: -- back onto the gentle rain, the boat heads outward under the breaking storm. So as you, the Mighty Nein, begin to figure out your return to your disparate paths, I just want to jump around a bit, take a minute or two. Tell me what you do in the aftermath of this unexpected adventure.

TRAVIS: Well, I have three Cloven Crystals, and I think having learned that keeping them on you is not the best option unless you are a glutton for punishment, I think each one will find a very exotic and dangerous locale, perhaps a volcano where a former Vokodo used to be, maybe one with the Cobalt Soul, and the third one, I'll keep that just for me.

MATT: Okay. Beauregard.

MARISHA: Take that Cloven Crystal, turn it in to the Cobalt Reserve, lock it deep in our vaults, and get a nice foot rub from Yasha. Continue, of course, working with Caleb, never keeping my eyes far from Ludinus.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: And the rest of the Cerberus Assembly.

MATT: You got it. To that note, Yasha.

ASHLEY: Yeah, we go home, nice foot rubs.

MARISHA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Have a nice time. Definitely am learning more from Martina Steward, and help Veth with the camp, because I have many classes to teach, and the kids are okay. They have grown on me. They're all right.

MARISHA: You're good with kids.

ASHLEY: I am. I didn't think I would be, but turns out I'm pretty good.

MATT: Okay, on the topic of that camp, Veth.

SAM: The first camp was a smashing success after a few days. It was off to a little slow start, but once I rejoined the camp, everything went great. Only one of the kids died--

LAURA and MARISHA: (laugh)

SAM: -- in a class that Yasha was teaching.

ASHLEY: No, no, no.

SAM: But luckily, our guest arts and crafts teacher was there to heal and restore the child. Now the child actually is due to come back next summer, actually thought that it was amazing.

ASHLEY: It wasn't my fault.

SAM: Wants to do it again, and in fact, it was a bit of a publicity boost. All the adventuring kids were like, whoa! It's got real danger? So we have twice as many signups for next year.

MATT: Oh boy.

LAURA: Now we make it a thing, though, with each donation so the kids can come, they have to bring with them a diamond worth 300 gold each.

MATT: That's real expensive. That's going to cut the--

LAURA: But The Gentleman provides.

SAM: Yeah. There's a few on hand.

MATT: Sure, okay.

MARISHA: Wow. Wow.

MATT: Jester.

LAURA: Oh, well, I really enjoyed teaching at the camp so much that I realized I wanted to open my own art studio. We get the building next to our little shack, and I open--

TRAVIS: We're expanding our real estate.

LAURA: We're expanding our real estate. Mama helped. I'm opening Jester's art studio. It's called Dicks and Other Things. (laughter)

SAM: It's mostly nudes?

LAURA: It's mostly nude painting at first, and then--

TALIESIN: Spelling for dicks?

LAURA: Yeah. It becomes super duper popular, and Jester is kind of-- Her graffiti around Exandria starts becoming, oh my gosh--

SAM: Banksy?

LAURA: Like Banksy. She becomes like Banksy. So if you spot her graffiti, all of the rich people start to really want some of her graffiti.

TRAVIS: Does that mean the house will be painted normal colors and there will be no more art within the living dwelling?

LAURA: No.

TRAVIS: No. Why would--

LAURA: In fact, I still have a lot of my miraculous paint, so there's so many secrets within our actual home. Now, I've painted a whole separate living space through our own living space, and it's like those tents in Harry Potter where you paint it and it's actually so much bigger on the inside.

MATT: That's pretty cool.

TRAVIS: I cry.

MARISHA: I cry.

MATT: (laughs) Kingsley, once you've rolled with some of this crew on the ocean, what are you up to?

TALIESIN: Well, I took a brief break, because that was a lot, although we have this lovely piece of leather, which I'm probably going to fashion into something nice. The boots would clash, but maybe with a little bit of dye. I leave some of it for you, since this is your problem. You should get something out of it. Take a little time, visit Caduceus, as I have done a bit over the last six months, since it's nice to have someone who doesn't have the Molly look when they look at me. We talk about the future. He reminds me to tell you that that ivy is not native and it's never going to do what you want it to and it's practically a job all of its own, and to just stop.

ASHLEY: Yeah, okay, I know. Okay. yeah.

TALIESIN: And goes to work at the shipping company. Stone's Throw Shipping Company.

TRAVIS: We expand.

TALIESIN: You do.

TRAVIS: Very profitable.

LAURA: Oh, so Mom doesn't even help out that much with the art studio. Really, the shipping company pays for it.

TALIESIN: I specifically start taking the very, very intense jobs. I'm working my way up to captain, and eventually you--

SAM: ♪ Workin' my way ♪

TALIESIN: -- let me captain my own ship.

TRAVIS: I don't let you have anything. You get your own ship.

TALIESIN: Which I promptly steal.

LAURA: That's how it happens.

TALIESIN: That's how it happens.

TRAVIS: Kingsley, where did this ship come from?

TALIESIN: If you want it back, you know what to do. I eventually make my way, and I do eventually--

TRAVIS and LAURA: ♪ Makin' my way ♪

TALIESIN: -- find a way to, eventually, after a year or so, you do get a letter that rescinds everybody's no go, their--

LAURA: Banishment?

TALIESIN: Yeah, the banishment is over. You're all welcome.

MARISHA: From Darktow?

TALIESIN: From Darktow. Anytime you like.

LAURA: Yay.

MATT: Cool.

LAURA: Are you the new Plank King?

TALIESIN: I am the new Plank King.

LAURA: Now I get to message the Plank King all the time and he likes it.

TALIESIN: Oh, yes.

LIAM: Next M9 one-shot.

MARISHA: I was going to say.

TALIESIN: Try and take your shit back and I will kill you.

MARISHA: I was going to actually ask, weren't you doing stuff with the orphanage?

TRAVIS: Yes.

SAM: ♪ The orphanage ♪

TRAVIS: We unseated Grankton and all of his associates and have purged it of its black market, under-city dealings. The wood shop is still there, though. Can never have enough good woodwork.

MARISHA: Yasha.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: Pitch.

ASHLEY: Let me hear it.

MARISHA: You rebrand from the Orphanmaker to the Orphantaker.

LAURA: That's what you guys-- Yeah, you guys adopted.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: That's what you do.

ASHLEYL: I'm into it.

MARISHA: Maybe we adopt.

ASHLEY: I'm into it.

MARISHA: Yeah?

ASHLEY: Yes.

MARISHA: Okay.

ASHLEY: This is the natural next step for us.

MARISHA: I'm here for that.

ASHLEY: Me too. We're going to be really good parents.

MARISHA: I think so.

TRAVIS: Those kids are going to get in lots of fights.

MATT and ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: No one's any fun anymore.

MATT: Indeed.

MARISHA: No. No, no. That doesn't happen.

MATT: No. No, no. Caleb, what are you up to?

LIAM: Well, I return to Rexxentrum and pick up where I left off, so there are many late night meetings, not in person, with Beauregard. Everything's done on Sending Stone these days. We continue our work together, occasionally hop over to different towns to have dinner with different friends. I finally get it over with, and both at Beauregard's constant pestering and Astrid's request as well, I do take up a position at the Soltryce Academy as a teacher of transmutation, both to mold a future generation and to keep tabs on the aftermath of the Volstrucker program and keep tabs on my friends, Astrid and Eadwulf. I do visit the camp and give a few workshops. I try to teach the children how to create a single glowing globule, but only one 14 year old boy and Luc are the only two who are able to muster it. But everyone tried their best, so gold star. I start the tradition of gathering up all of us once a month at a different location every time of our choosing, and we stay for two nights in the tower and catch up and fill each other in on everything that we're doing. In those first two weeks back, I continue to teach my private practice. I continue to tend the green beans on my property, and every day, as I'm in the garden, I look up the road and wonder if I will see my friend return.

MATT: And you do. Within a short time after this journey, eventually you hear that familiar knock at your door. Upon opening it, you see the image of a young elven man, blond hair, hood up a bit, who steps into your chambers. Right as he crosses the threshold, the illusion fades, and you see the light lavender skin and white hair of Essek. He drifts off the ground for a bit and turns around. "So, Caleb Widogast, I hear there is a story you have to tell me about a grand sea adventure that you went on."

LIAM: How is it I always have so much scruff and you have none?

MATT: "Let's just say it's Xhorhasian good looks."

LIAM: Well, I'm sure you have tales of your own I'm looking forward to hear.

MATT: "Come, let us talk."

LIAM: Come, dear.

MATT: He gives you a kiss and walks into the room with you as the door closes.

LIAM: Just look out on Rexxentrum and look up the lane, look at the green beans, and I pull the door closed.

MATT: That's where we'll go ahead and end this adventure.

MARISHA: Yeah!

TRAVIS: So good! It's so good!

ASHLEY: Oh man.

MATT: That was so nice to return to.

ASHLEY: That was so nice.

LAURA: Oh my god.

LIAM: Let's not wait this long. I love these guys so much.

LAURA: I know.

MATT: I know, I know.

SAM: Their stories are over, there's nothing more to tell.

LIAM: It's true.

MARISHA: I know.

TALIESIN: You can bring Caduceus next time.

LIAM: There's nothing left for us to explore.

TRAVIS: There's Darktow, and there's also--

MATT: Not at all.

TRAVIS: -- A? in Aeor.

MATT: There's a lot of question marks out there still, if we ever get the gumption as time goes on.

LIAM: We have the gumption!

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: There's some gumption.

TRAVIS: The time is the thing.

LAURA: I forgot to mention, the Traveler taught me how to go to the Feywild.

MARISHA: Oh, that's right.

LAURA: So I think we should take a vacation.

SAM: Sure.

TRAVIS: The Feywild's never a vacation, though.

LAURA: You don't know.

TALIESIN: Clay will be available in about six months. It'd be fun.

LAURA: Sweet.

TRAVIS: Matt, that was so dope.

LAURA: That was so fun.

MATT: Guys, well done. That was a blast.

TRAVIS: That mini is crazy.

TALIESIN: Holy shit.

ASHLEY: That was a very cool fight.

MATT: Dude, I'm so happy with how it turned out.

LIAM: What is this massive triangle? What is it made of? Where did it come from?

MATT: Our friends at Flip This Bitch made that specifically for this.

LIAM: It's a sail.

ASHLEY: It's so pretty.

LIAM: ♪ Sail ♪

TALIESIN: Gorgeous.

ASHLEY: This was so fun.

MATT: But yeah. Thank you guys so much. Love you all.

LAURA and TRAVIS: Love you, Matt.

MARISHA: I love you guys.

MATT: Thank you all so much for joining us. I hope you had as much fun as we did. Enjoy the rest of your night. We love you very much, and is it Thursday yet?

LIAM: Donnerstag!

MATT: Good night.