Fight at the Museum...

is the twenty-first episode of the third campaign of Critical Role.

Announcements

 * No Ashley Johnson tonight because the COVID caught her. She's feeling fine and will be texting in directions for Fearne. The six-player table feels weirdly familiar and Matt hates it.
 * First sponsor tonight is Cash App, presenting the second Finger Championship Games (FCG), this time featuring the Digital Dominator vs the Finger Blaster. The Finger Blaster wins again! Use code CRITROLE for $15 (terms apply).
 * Second sponsor is ELEX II, a new open-world science fantasy RPG featuring the voice talents of Taliesin Jaffe. Liam particularly likes its heroes Jax and Dex. Use code CRElex2 at GOG.com to save 10%.
 * The Red Nose Day fundraiser is still going. Next Thursday, 28 April 2022 at 7 pm Pacific, Marisha, Ashley, and Sam will be reprising their Mighty Nein characters alongside Stephen Colbert.
 * The second episode of 4-Sided Dive will be 3 May 2022 at 7 pm Pacific on Twitch and YouTube.

Previously on Critical Role
''So last we left off, Bells Hells had made their way northward in the Oderan Wilds towards the Heartmoor, the marsh region of the north side of this region in Marquet, and the Heartmoor Hamlet, the city that is built in the center of this space. Upon meeting some individuals, getting some information about the red moon Ruidus and some unique elements of Imogen's nightmares that may have some connection, you gathered some materials and you met up with Evon Hytroga. You were sent here by Jiana Hexum to be one of two different burglar teams, to be competing to break in and acquire a specific artifact that was named by Hytroga, specifically, one that's called "Wind Folly", the earring of Harudan.''

''You then traversed the first floor of this place, fell in some traps, managed to leave some traps for your friends, leave some traps for the enemies, scattered yourself a bit. Didn't do much exploring upstairs, but managed to find one path down into the first basement where the true museum begins. There were more traps, there were more dangers, there were unexpected shortfalls, there were battles with marionettes, and all the time being chased by this other troupe of burglars. You managed to leave them behind, beating at a door that is currently being held by an immovable rod while you went into this second basement.''

''Here, more traps, more dangers. It's been great! Before eventually coming to this central chamber, which does contain the artifact you seek. It is currently encased in a very thick glass enclosure, and after a few impacts, you're managing to do some physical damage to it. You're seeing it cracking. At about the same time that these attacks began, these two vacant spaces that looked vaguely humanoid in the two stone walls to the sides of you, these large, almost reverse space art pieces began to fill with a dark clay, and then eventually, rapidly, they seemed to fill into a humanoid shape, burning red eyes peering from within their clay musculature as they step out and pincer the group ahead.''

Part I
Roll initiative! Imogen Commands both clay wardens to "grovel" on their turn, while Orym again attacks the glass case with his sword, doing slightly more damage. Laudna then holds her rock chisel in place at the enclosure for Ashton to whack with his hammer, cracking the glass significantly. When Laudna moves away, however, the constructs use their reactions to hit her, knocking her unconscious into a corner. Fearne casts Cure Wounds to bring her back and then summons Little Mister. Chetney completely shatters the glass case with his chisel, snatches the earring, and sprints for the door they entered through.

On their turn, the clay wardens follow Imogen's previous Command and fall prone. The party all run toward the door, doing what damage they can to the constructs on the way, but Ashton discovers the door outward is jammed shut, and Chetney realizes The Verdict has taken the immovable rod they left behind earlier in the museum and used it to wedge the door closed. They all immediately reverse course back into the room holding the wardens and toward the second door leading outward from it into a twin to the lion statue room they entered through.

Fearne gets the final blow on one of the wardens with Scorching Ray and uses Little Mister's fiery teleportation ability to move Laudna slightly away and nearer the other exit. Laudna passes her bag of magnets to Chetney who passes them and the earring to FCG, and FCG uses the magnets to hide the earring inside his mouth. The remaining clay warden picks up Orym and throws him at Imogen, damaging both, and only FCG's intervention saves Imogen from unconsciousness. Orym then gets the How do you want to do this? on the final creature.

Everyone is damaged, several of them severely. While Chetney determines which of the floor tiles are trapped in the twin lion-statue room and FCG casts Aura of Vitality on the party, they discuss possible strategies, including luring The Verdict by playing dead and substituting a fake earring. Laudna badly crafts a fake which they insert into Imogen's music box and leave on Wind Folly's former pedestal. Eventually they decide to try for a short rest, while Imogen remains on guard against entry by The Verdict from either side, ready to telepathically trigger the floor tile traps with ball bearings if The Verdict moves into the lion rooms.

Only a few minutes in, they hear The Verdict entering one of the adjacent rooms and identifying the trapped tiles. As the rival party moves forward and begins trying to open the door leading to where Bells Hells are, Imogen telepathically drops a ball bearing on one of the tiles, triggering a blast of flame from the mouth of the lion statue. Chetney and Ashton are able to hold the door closed, trapping The Verdict in the lion room as Imogen sets off the flames again. The party hears screams and a voice crying, "Sevros is down!" and when they hear Sevros being moved out of the room, Imogen triggers the flames a third time. When Orym cautiously investigates the now-charred room, there is silence and drag marks leading outward. The next room is also deserted, but in the central chamber the group finds, charred and unconscious, Hutchin and Sevros the goblin, with Tejana standing over them. FCG casts Spare the Dying on both and Fearne heals Hutchin. They discover the other two members of The Verdict hiding with crossbows, but convince them to stand down. Orym recovers the immovable rod. Laudna convinces Chetney to steal the alleged "Journal of Vespin Chloras" as they leave, apparently unnoticed by The Verdict.

Bells Hells moves back upstairs. On the way, Ashton takes the helmet from the strangely familiar suit of Hishari armor. Angry at the level of danger they've encountered, Ashton wants to take further retribution on Evon Hytroga before leaving, and the party moves to the second floor where they locate and steal some hidden papers and a pair of glasses in a locked drawer. Satisfied, the group moves back downstairs and exits through the kitchen door.

Break

 * ELEX II now available.
 * D&D Beyond is now a part of Wizards of the Coast, and offering 20% off through 1 May 2022 on books and premium dice.
 * Merch Alert! Critter nesting dolls, Essek key cover set, and Vox Machina chibi vinyl decals set in all five Critical Role shops; Mighty Nein and Taryon dice sets in the US, UK, Australia, and EU.
 * Join Stephen Colbert and the Critical Role Foundation to help end child hunger by supporting Red Nose Day.
 * Critical Recap every Wednesday on CritRole.com.
 * Submit fan art and cosplay for possible inclusion in the weekly online gallery at https://www.critrole.com/submit.
 * Sam whispers the benefits of subscribing to Critical Role on Twitch.

Part II
Once outside, Chetney drops his werewolf form. Surrounded by guards, Evon Hytroga is waiting, and FCG presents the earring to him. Evon congratulates the group and tells them he will notify Jiana Hexum of their victory. As a reward, he takes out and holds up a mirror-like object toward them, then takes them inside to show them the portrait of them it has created, which will hang proudly on the wall as the first victors of what he is thinking of making an annual contest.

The group is worried about returning to their hotel, and travel out of town to sleep in the woods. After a long rest, Fresh Cut Grass casts Remove Curse on Imogen, removing her blue coloration. As the spell fades, he also casts Detect Thoughts in an attempt to dive deeper into her mind, but she shuts him out and tells him not to try it again. He notices, however, her hand move toward the shard of Gnarlrock in her pocket.

FCG Identifies the stolen glasses as being Eyes of Charming, able to cast Charm on those they look upon. While FCG can't use Identify again that day, Ashton determines that the stolen papers (all apparently blank) are magical because they can't be torn. Imogen sends a message to Jiana Hexum, telling her of the party's victory in the heist, while Chetney determines that the "Journal of Vespin Chloras" is a fake.

Before they leave town, Chetney wants to stop by Knot Forgotten and talk to the toymaker Zadro Ichlen, so he and Orym go there. Chetney is impressed with the workmanship on display and learns that Zadro learned her trade in Uthodurn. When Chetney asks her if she knew Oltgar, her entire demeanor changes, becoming hostile and suspicious. Even when Chetney tells her he has no love for Oltgar, she remains wary and they agree to forget they ever met. Chetney's anger seems to almost overpower him inside the shop, and when Orym questions him outside, Chetney tells him Oltgar is "the worst kind of person."

On the way back, they run into Roe Estani leaving the inn, who tells them that through the years, he's had friends with similar interests as the Lumas twins. The friends called themselves the Grim Verity, a hundred-year-old collective of collegiate scholars "uncovering conspiratorial secrets of history to a borderline blasphemous degree by theological standards." The twins were members. If Bells Hells go to the Aydinlan Seminary in Yios, they should find Ebenold Kai and deliver to her a sealed letter which he gives to Orym.

Orym and Chetney rejoin the group, who have reclaimed the horses and settled up at the inn. They mount up and travel uneventfully to Jrusar, along the way learning that the papers stolen from Evon become readable in extreme cold, which Laudna provides with a Ray of Frost. The papers are mostly to do with Evon's acquisition of artifacts from around the world. A recurring name is SP.Y.SH-N, which Orym recognizes as referring to Spireling Shenn (a leader in the Emon sect of the Clasp). There is also a letter concerning Jiana Hexum's transactions with dealers in Wildemount: three separate shipments of 3'x1'x1' crates which she immediately sent onward. Ashton saw a similar crate on his last job with the Nobodies and remembers pulling something from it, but his memories of that night are very hazy. The other papers establish that the relics in the museum are fakes commissioned by Hytroga. Ashton gives Imogen the papers concerning the crates to hold and slips Fearne the stolen Eyes of Charming.

After four days on the road, they see the flame of the Lantern Spire and reach Jrusar just after sunset.

Bells Hells

 * Ashton Greymoore
 * Chetney Pock O'Pea
 * Fearne Calloway
 * Little Mister
 * Fresh Cut Grass
 * Imogen Temult
 * Laudna
 * Orym

Returning

 * Evon Hytroga
 * Jiana Hexum (voice only)
 * The Verdict
 * Hutchin
 * Tejana
 * Sevros, the goblin
 * a human
 * a katari
 * Roe Estani
 * Zadro Ichlen, dwarven proprietor of Knot Forgotten

Mentioned

 * Balan and Zeyar Lumas
 * Ebenold Kai
 * Harudan
 * Isha Sabanis
 * Oltgar
 * Shenn
 * Vespin Chloras (unnamed)

Quotations
Liam: It's not you. It's the cold universe. Marisha: Natural 20!! Sam: (rolls) ni-- ooh, 6 or 9? Laura: 9. Marisha: Nice. FCG: It's book keeping. Orym: Yeah, it didn't really fit the non-deadly category. Evon: You all survived, didn't you? Chetney: Yeah, but most of the artifacts didn't. I'm just kidding. Ha, I gotcha!
 * Laura: (rolling for the absent Ashley) Somebody else roll. I can't, I can't.
 * Matt: Go ahead and roll an attack.
 * Ashton: I've got a job for Mister once we're out of this room, I'm kinda curious.
 * FCG: Smiley night to ya!
 * Evon Hytroga: I am surprised and quite impressed by what you've achieved this eve. But I am an individual that likes to keep my failures under wraps. Guards, kill them. I'm kidding! I'm entirely kidding!
 * Imogen: You really should have checked out what kind of damage those traps did to your place.
 * Zadro Ichlen (to Chetney, about Oltgar) If you ever see him, tell him Zadro keeps a blade, just in case. And he is not welcome.
 * Chetney: Oltgar is the worst, the worst kind of person. I worked with Oltgar in Uthodurn. He was a mentor of mine, taught me the intricacies of making wooden toys. Made them beautiful. And then he betrayed that very craft! It makes sense that his spies would have spread this far. It'll have to be a scorched earth campaign now.

Trivia

 * Ashley Johnson was not present for this episode due to having COVID-19 when it was taped.
 * At the end of this episode, the party leveled up to 6th.
 * FCG rolled a 5, increasing hit points to 56.
 * Ashton rolled a 4, increasing hit points to 65.
 * Chetney rolled a 4 if he chooses Blood Hunter, and a 2 if he chooses to take a level in Rogue, for a total of 52 or 50 hit points respectively.
 * Laudna took the level as a Sorcerer and rolled a 6, increasing hit points to 42.
 * Imogen rolled a 5, increasing hit points to 38, leaving her as the lowest of the party.
 * Orym rolled a 2, increasing hit points to 53.
 * Fearne didn't roll since Ashley wasn't present, but also leveled up.