Transcript:Onward to Vesrah

Pre-Show
SAM: – is today’s sponsor. A leading publisher of

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That’s almost as old as I am. Do you like magic?

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there. Let’s say right there.

TRAVIS: Yeah, sure!

SAM: So check that out. And the thing about

sponsors, guys, is we really need to show them our

love. And really show them that we appreciate what

they do for us every week. They’re a big part of

the show, without them we would– For instance,

without sponsors,

Taliesin would only be able to

dye his hair platinum blond or brown.

TALIESIN: Oh, no.

MARISHA: It’s true.

TALIESIN: It’s called Malibu Sunset.

SAM: Yeah. Laura’s dice budget would go way down.

Instead of throwing away 250 dice a week,

it would maybe be more like 240, 230.

LAURA: Oh God. Terrible.

SAM: I mean, Liam might have to go back to shaving

his beard

and selling the beard shavings to those in need.

MATT: To be fair, it was worth it. Look at them on

my shelf.

SAM: I have just a few ideas for ways that you

guys could show your love for our sponsors.

Take them out for a candlelit dinner. I’m not

talking Bennigan’s, I’m talking something

high-end. Shake Shack, Outback, maybe even P.F.

Chang’s. How about sending some romantic texts to

spice things up? Keep it classy, like: Hey,

Critical Role Sponsor, I wish you could be with

me right now. Or, I had a dream last night,

and Critical Role Sponsor? You were in it.

And hey, compliments always help. Critical Role

Sponsor, do you have a map? ‘Cause I’m getting

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of all the beautiful curves on your body,

I’m most in love with your smile. Or even:

Critical Role Sponsor, on a scale of one to ten,

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MARISHA: Don’t use that one, either, in real

life.

TALIESIN: That would work on me.

SAM: Or you could just go to their website and buy

their products.

(all cheer)

SAM: So, Tor Books, thanks so much.

MATT: Thank you, Tor Books, and thank you to all

those mentioned restaurants that will never be a

sponsor for us now, and it’s probably for the

best.

TRAVIS: The Bennigan’s and the Monte Cristo.

LAURA: Oh man, I hit up Bennigan’s a lot.

MATT: I know, I was holding out for the P.F.

Chang’s but, y'know. Thank you so much, Sam,

and thank you, Tor Books, for being our awesome

sponsor tonight. Make sure to check out A

Conjuring of Light, now available to you.

All right, next up, the new episode of GM Tips is

out. It came out today and this one is about

suggestions on homebrewing content for your

systems in game. I have, I think, three more

episodes that are going on in the coming weeks,

so look forward to those.

MARISHA: And then we hand it off to someone

awesome.

MATT: Exactly. We have a new person stepping in,

after those episodes, showing their own flavor to

the series. I’m excited about that.

MARISHA: Because you can only learn so much from

one teacher.

MATT: Exactly.

MARISHA: The best teachers will teach you that.

MATT: Yep.

TRAVIS: The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles only had

Master Splinter.

MARISHA: Shut. Up.

TRAVIS: Daniel-san only had Mr. Miyagi.

MARISHA: This is the real world, okay? This isn’t

fantasy.

SAM: They were homeschooled, okay?

MATT: And how many times did they have to reboot

that to make it work?

TRAVIS: That’s a good point.

MATT: Eventually ending with the Michael Bay

films. So check out that episode of GM Tips.

As a reminder to all you guys looking to

homebrew: It’s hard.

It’s time consuming. It’s not for everybody.

LAURA: But it’s so rewarding, Matthew.

MATT: It can be rewarding.

LIAM: Could you do it different though?

MATT: Ugh. So check out the episode knowing that,

and we’ll have next week’s episode next

Wednesday.

TALIESIN: Your other friends tell me that they

miss you too. So yeah.

MARISHA: Mm-hm. That’s true.

MATT: Yeah, I know. I’ll see people again soon.

Also, I wanted to give a shout-out. We’re in the

final 24-hour stretch for the Pillars of Eternity

II: Deadfire crowdsourced campaign. So if you

haven’t yet, or you have interest in seeing the

sequel to that, go and check it out. They’re doing

a final 24-hour stream over on Obsidian’s stream

channel, of course after our episode tonight.

Go give them some love. And last, I have my list

here, I was just able to announce that I voice

Deadshot in the upcoming Justice 2.

(all cheer)

MATT: Coming out in mid-May.

LAURA: I play Supergirl!

MATT: Yeah! Fantástico! So look forward to that.

There may be some more surprises as the cast is

announced progressively down the road. Super happy

to be a part of it.

LAURA: Super happy.

TALIESIN and MARISHA: (groan)

MATT: I need more alcohol.

(all laugh)

TRAVIS: Immediately.

MATT: Immediately. Taliesin, you wanted to mention

something about your new show?

TALIESIN: Yeah, we had the very first episode of

The Wednesday Club this week.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

TALIESIN: I have now had eight hours of sleep,

which is pretty magical.

MARISHA: It was so good.

TALIESIN: It was fun. And we’re gonna be back this

week with our next episode. We’re actually gonna

be talking about a lot of things, including

characters with mental health issues in comic

books, both superhero and otherwise. Including

Legion, from the X-Men, who has currently got a

show on FX which is magical.

TRAVIS: Yeah he does. It’s really good.

MATT: It’s really, really good. Holy shit.

TALIESIN: It’s so good. So tune in, it’s noon ‘til

two on Wednesdays, on the twitch stream where you

probably are right now.

MATT: Noon ‘til two Pacific.

TALIESIN: And I think we bumped it to Alpha,

but I don’t remember, maybe not. And then it’ll

be on the rebroadcast if you wanna see it,

but it’s gonna be a lot of fun. Matt Key and Amy

Dallen will be there, it’s gonna be great.

MATT: Cool. Thank you, Taliesin. If nobody else

has anything else to say…

TRAVIS: Cheese is for everybody. Not just me.

SAM: Did you just say Jesus for everybody?

TRAVIS: Cheese.

MARISHA: Cheez Its?

LIAM: Jesus for everybody.

MATT: Cheezits Christ for everybody.

TRAVIS: Cheez Its Crust.

(all laugh)

MATT: Without further ado, let’s bring us into

tonight’s episode of Critical Role.

(opening credits)

Part I
MATT: Hello, and welcome back. So, picking up

where we last left off. Vox Machina, having

defeated the Chroma Conclave, and restoring order

and, for the time being, peace to the landscape of

Tal'Dorei, resurrected your friend, Scanlan

Shorthalt. However, he realised he needed some

time to himself, to both connect with his interest

in direction and life, and with his estranged

illegitimate daughter, Kaylie. Upon leaving,

the party proceeded to find their way to close

all the loose ends that they hadn’t quite had time

to get to with the Conclave’s assault. That

involved returning the ashes of Senokir’s wife to

Vasselheim,

and then making your way to Ank'Harel to deliver

the hands of Ripley to the Scarbearers guild.

On your way there you encountered a new

adventurer, Taryon Darrington,

who was looking to

join an adventuring group for experience–

LIAM: He’s my favorite.

MATT: Yes, he’s the best. He paid his way into

your service and upon being returned to Whitestone

you gave him a hazing, which broke him enough to

be a little more honest with his reasoning for

going on this adventure.

LAURA: Let’s not call it a hazing. It was an

audition.

MATT: It was an audition, it was a brutal

audition.

MARISHA: (singing) Don’t call it a comeback!

MATT: There you go. In which, knowing more about

your new companion, you accepted him for the time

being, understanding the dangers that are involved

in following your path and he accepted. You made

your way to Emon, looking as a way to find passage

towards Vesrah, the home of the Water Ashari and

the hopeful completion of Keyleth’s AraMente.

Upon finding and hiring a crew under the Captain

Adella, you made your way onto your new ship and

began to traverse westward onto the Ozmit Sea.

TRAVIS: Shit, we’re on a boat. We’re on a boat

motherfuckers!

MARISHA: (singing) Don’t you ever forget!

(all laugh)

MATT: There is that.

LIAM: We are noble creatures.

MATT: So.

TRAVIS: (gasps) I hear the ocean.

SAM: That’s someone snoring.

(all laugh)

TALIESIN: It’s a rainstick.

MATT: So you guys have been at sea for a handful

of days. It’s been relatively uneventful.

The boat slowly rocks, as the waters of the Ozmit

are much calmer by comparison to that of the

Lucidian Ocean. Making them a much more popular

trade route pass between the various continents on

this side of Exandria. Now the slow rocking of the

boat, across the somewhat choppy waters,

leads some of you into a relaxing lull over these

days. Others, into perpetual bouts of nausea.

But you notice that Captain Adella runs a

relatively tight ship. Her crew works like

clockwork, at her order, and the skies are

thankfully clear these first few days, and the

journey so far is mild. What would you guys like

to– Is there anything you wish to accomplish as

you are travelling across the sea?

TALIESIN: I’ve got a little bit of sketching,

and working on something simple, that I might

even try and build while I’m here.

MARISHA: I’ll catch up on some reading, I guess.

Some of my alchemy reading.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Stephen King novel.

MARISHA: From I’ve been doing, trying to make that

better.

MATT: Fair enough. Anyone else?

LIAM: I have been sort of shadowing Grog for a

couple of days,

'cause he doesn’t have any gnomes

to hang out with.

TRAVIS: Oh that’s right. Oh, fuck, it’s real when

you said it!

LIAM: I have been playing Boulder, Parchment,

Shears, and telling him stories.

TRAVIS: The non-violent kind.

LIAM: Yes, yes. Just hanging out, off and on.

MATT: Okay. Vex?

LAURA: I guess I’ve been trying to get to know

Tary a little bit better.

And also flying like

Vex-Kite behind the ship.

MATT: Okay. And Taryon?

SAM: Lots of push-ups, trying to beef up my pecs.

I also, at the start of every day, I’m going to

take two of those– I have a bunch of silver coins

that I carry around with me, and I’m gonna cast a

couple of spells into them, just to have them at

the ready.

I cast Fly into one and Blur into the other.

MATT: Okay, good to know.

SAM: And then I would probably wander down to good

old Percy,

and just ask him if he needs help with

any tinkering.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah, no, I wanna see what he has,

too.

Like, there’s gonna be some trading.

I’ll show stuff.

MATT: I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours?

TALIESIN: Oh yeah.

MATT: Perfect. So, as the two tinkering nerds

begin to reveal their secret inner interests, Vex,

you, about three days into this venture,

you catch what looks to be a dark spot right on

the horizon. Midday, maybe like two o'clock in the

afternoon, it’s a warm sun, this far, as you start

moving westward and southward, you head closer to

what would be the equator of the planet.

It’s getting warmer, and the sea spray is coming

up, the smell of seawater and brine occasionally

meets your nose, as the ship hits the various

waves as they come across, but you’re still

keeping a keen eye out. And it’s just endless sea

in all directions, you see no landmass, but you see

a little bit of something appearing at the

horizon.

LAURA: Like land, potentially?

MATT: It could very well be land.

LAURA: I guess I’ll fly down and– I’m gonna try

and stay off the deck as much as possible,

since it makes me so nauseous.

MATT: So you just glide around the–

LAURA: Yes.

TRAVIS: Your imaginary character is also

nauseous.

LAURA: Potentially, yes.

TRAVIS: That’s a bummer.

LAURA: I know, right. Vex hasn’t had a lot of

experience with ships, you know.

LIAM: Does your real self also get sea sick?

LAURA: I may have fed a couple sharks in my

lifetime.

TRAVIS: She painted the ocean. It was amazing.

MARISHA: Ooh.

LAURA: I’m gonna fly down and tell Captain

Adella.

MATT: Okay. Keeping an eye out, and as you move,

you catch a little more of the shape in the

distance. It looks a little small to be a

landmass.

If it is landmass, it’s a very small

one.

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: But it’s stationary.

LAURA: Oh, it could be another ship, possibly.

MATT: It could be a ship, it could be anything

that would be stationary. Literally, it’s only

because of your keen vantage point, and your honed

eyesight, that you’re able to even make that

slight, little bump in the horizon from here.

LAURA: All right. Captain?

MATT: As you fly down, you see her, she’s at the

front of the ship. She has her one hand currently

on the wheel, and she’s looking out,

chatting to the side with one of her crewmates,

and turns around as you fly down next to her.

She’s surprised at your immediate appearance and

she’s like, “Oh, (gasps) sorry, I–”

LAURA: You’ll get used to that someday.

MATT: One of these days, I’m sure.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: “What can I do for you?”

LAURA: I see something on the horizon; do you know

of any masses in the area?

Maybe a ship, or island, or–

MATT: “Take the helm.” She hands off the wheel to

one of her compatriots,

and she rummages over in one

of the small chests to the side,

and pulls out a

large scroll and slams it onto a table she keeps

maybe ten feet off to the right of her. And she

goes through and pulls out a few

instruments. Marks the sun and takes a good five

minutes or so getting a really strong idea of where the

positioning is. She looks down. “No, not much in

the way of landmasses out here, my dear.”

LAURA: Do you have a telescope?

MATT: She goes and pulls out her particular eye

glass. It’s small, but functional. Glances over,

and you look over in the direction and point it

out. There’s nothing on the horizon.

LAURA: May I take that and fly up? I swear I’ll

give it back.

MATT: There’s a long pause–

LAURA: I’ve got nowhere to hide.

LIAM: Careful, butterfingers.

MATT: Passes it over.

LAURA: Up.

MATT: You take off, look up, extend it, keeping a

close view. Go ahead and make a perception check.

TRAVIS: First one of the day.

LAURA: (screams) First one, first one, first one.

Which of you?

TRAVIS: Set the tone. Roll like a champion.

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay, okay.

LIAM: Natural one, the spyglass has fallen in the

ocean.

LAURA: Shut up, don’t say it out loud!

TRAVIS: Why did you go with the weenie one?

LAURA: Shut up. 21?

MATT: 21? Okay. You take a moment and glance out

in the same direction you were,

and you scan past the horizon. Nothing.

LAURA: Motherfuck. Well, I come back down.

It went under water, whatever it was. Does that

mean it was big enough to be some sort of sea

monster? Was it a sea monster?

MATT: “I sincerely hope not, for all of our sakes.

But, nevertheless, I’m gonna go ahead and have

“the men man our ballistas. Just to be safe.”

LAURA: How quickly do those things move?

MATT: “What things?”

LAURA: Sea monsters.

MATT: “Depends on the sea monster.”

LAURA: This one was very large.

MATT: “Hopefully slowly.” And she shouts off,

“Full sail!” A bunch of the deckhands start

pulling the ropes down, letting the sail come to a

full– flutter of wind itself isn’t too terribly

strong, but it’s enough to at least inflate the

sails even further,

and give a little more of a speedy direction.

LAURA: I wanna go back up and keep an eye,

with the spyglass, on any kind of movement,

that looks like it’s coming towards us.

MATT: Okay, cool. Some of her men go over and

start loading the large ballistas to the back of

the ship. Anybody else hanging out on the deck?

TRAVIS: Can I run to the bow of the ship? Heading

for a new land.

LAURA: Oh wow.

TRAVIS: In New York you can– No, sorry.

(all laugh)

TRAVIS: On the bow of the ship.

MATT: There you stand, at the bow of the ship.

You see at the very front there’s the point,

the– oh man.

TALIESIN: Are you really?

TRAVIS: What?

MARISHA: Are– you’re not…

TRAVIS: No, I’m just looking to see what I can

see. Like one leg up, Captain Morgan style.

MATT: There you go. As you glance out, with your

hand above on your brow, guarding the bright,

cloudless sunlight down upon you, it is just

endless ocean.

TRAVIS: Is there one of those amazing naked ladies

on the front of the ship?

Holding out the pole,

that comes out from the front?

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: Come on, Gil. Three.

(all laugh)

MATT: It’s still hard to see from this vantage

point. You’ll probably have to climb out there,

and climb down in front of the ship to see.

SAM: He’s in the back of the ship.

(all laugh)

TRAVIS: Do we mean to be going backwards?

MARISHA: I go up to the deckhands who are manning

the sails. Hi, heard it was full sail, full–

Do you need help with anything? To do– you need–

LAURA: Wow.

MARISHA: I can make, like, wind.

TRAVIS: Oh, you can!

MARISHA: And we can maybe get there faster.

MATT: The gentleman who is there, currently

wrapping a rope around his forearm, as he’s

pulling it down with his full weight, you can see

he’s maybe in his late twenties, though still

going a little grey in the beard, for such a young

age, but his skin is weathered, he’s kind of

missing a few teeth. He’s got a large piece of–

like a bandana of cloth wrapped around the front

of his head, and just a leather tunic. He kind of

looks back to you.

“Um, I’ve got it, but thank you.”

MARISHA: Oh, okay. 'Cause I can– You’re doing

great. Good work.

MATT: Right, okay.

TALIESIN: I’m gonna grab Bad News and run up to

the crow’s nest and see if I can see anything.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Guess word has gotten around the ship then.

MATT: Yeah. Well, she did shout 'full sail,'

I guess maybe you went up to see what was going

on. You get up to the crow’s nest. Go ahead and

make a perception check.

TALIESIN: Make some room in here. What is my

perception? That’s 20.

MATT: 20, okay. You get up there, lean out,

getting a view, you can see maybe 45 feet up,

Vex is also keeping her eye out via broom.

Taking her lead, and the direction she’s facing,

you glance out in that direction, but it’s just

open sea.

TALIESIN: I’m gonna keep an eye out for a moment,

for a little bit.

LIAM: Is Tary down below?

SAM: I was, but I came up too. Hi, hello, hi.

I have one of those little sticker things you put

on the back for motion sickness.

(all laugh)

SAM: One of these.

LAURA: One of those things you put on your wrist?

Yeah.

SAM: Hi, good day, good day, all.

TRAVIS: Bidet.

SAM: Good day, hi, hi. That’s it.

(all laugh)

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: I shout out to Percy, what are you guys

looking for?

Everyone’s so excited! This is so exciting.

TRAVIS: Why are you shouting? We have earrings.

MARISHA: I was– because we’re on the high seas,

and that’s what sailors do.

TRAVIS: Is it?

MARISHA: Yeah! See, we’re sailors, now!

TRAVIS: We’re sailors now.

TALIESIN: She doesn’t have to know what sailors

actually do.

MATT: The shiphand who’s manning the sail who’s a

foot from you right now just reaches up and covers

his ear and goes, “Uh. We don’t really yell that

loud all the time

“into each other’s ear, but thank you.”

TRAVIS: Yo-ho-ho! And a… help.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Keyleth, ask the captain if she wants to

have extra speed from your wind.

MARISHA: Captain.

TALIESIN: The captain, yes.

MARISHA: I was– I’m not talking to you, anymore,

Percy. Captain.

MATT: As you approach from behind, she’s currently

holding the wheel, and she doesn’t even turn her

head to you, goes, “Yes?”

MARISHA: Would you like more speed behind those

sails?

MATT: “I mean, always, but–”

MARISHA: Okay! And then I go back and I start

doing Gusts into the sails.

MATT: Okay, Gust is a what-level spell?

MARISHA: Well, it’s a cantrip, or I could do a

level three Gust of Wind.

MATT: Gust would be like a (pfft). It’s more of a

heavy fart.

MARISHA: Sorry, level two Gust of Wind.

LAURA: Basically you’re blowing really hard.

MATT: A level three Gust of Wind, you said?

MARISHA: Level two, level two. Gust of Wind.

MATT: Concentration for up to a minute, so okay.

So as you focus– actually, this is not a spell–

LAURA: We’re gonna be so fast for a minute.

MATT: Second-level spell, and it cannot be done at

a higher level.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: However, it gives you a full minute of a

very focused gust of wind of, as it– the sails

billow even further. You can see the ropes

tighten, the guy with the rope around his arm

goes, “Ow ow ow ow!” Has to unwind it real fast,

go in and ratchet it to the side. But the sails

pick up, and the ship itself picks up speed.

For the next minute you’ve got a nice burst or

so. You watch as the captain looks over the

shoulder to you and gives you a nod,

an approving nod, wordless, but–

MARISHA: Captain.

SAM: I turn to Doty, and I say, take this down.

With an efficiency and an effective leadership

role model for everyone, the redhead continues to

propel us forward, faster and faster, to

everyone’s surprise and respect, including the

captain. As the salt licks my nose, and the sweet

smell of adventure is in the air, I know that with

her on our side,

we will be strong and we will be

protected. End of chapter.

MATT: The tension on the ship–

MARISHA: Hey, look! I’ve got rubber booties!

(laughs)

SAM: You’re amazing.

MARISHA: Aren’t I cool, Tary?

SAM: Yes you are, ahoy!

MARISHA: Ahoy!

SAM: (hearty laugh) Delightful!

MATT: The tension on the ship slowly recedes over

the next hour as there is no sign of anything else.

LAURA: Nothing?

LIAM: Hey, man!

TRAVIS: What?

LIAM: You can’t walk off in the middle of a game

of hide-and-seek again.

I’ve been in a barrel for an hour!

I fell asleep in there!

TRAVIS: I’m sorry, I get so distracted. Did

someone find you?

LIAM: No, I just woke up in a barrel, I don’t even

know what time it is–

TRAVIS: Found you.

LIAM: Touché, Grog.

TRAVIS: Hey, do you want to help me? I think

there’s one of those wooden naked ladies on the

front of the ship but I can’t really see.

LIAM: Uh.

TRAVIS: Wanna reach a hand around and see if you

get a handful of wooden boob?

LIAM: Do you want me to do a reach-around,

is that what you’re asking me to do?

TRAVIS: I might not ever ask you again, but right

now, yes.

LIAM: Okay, yeah, this is not like the wood

nymph– Never mind.

TRAVIS: No, no, no.

LIAM: I go ahead and do a reach-around, I

suppose.

MATT: Okay. You shimmy out onto the front of the

ship. You do actually see just the cusp of what

looks like a pair of hands that are clasped,

carved into the top of where the wooden point at

the front of the ship is. So there is definitely a

figure there.

LIAM: Yeah, I’ll hang down.

MATT: Okay. You hang down, and reach, as one

would.

(all laugh)

TALIESIN: This got weird quick.

MATT: As you kinda grasp over and hold and feel

around there–

LAURA: This is so ridiculous.

MATT: – not finding much in the breasts,

but you find a bulge. It does indeed have a

figure at the front of the ship, this one is not

female.

LIAM: Is it a wang?

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: Nice.

MATT: I mean it’s a bulge where one would be,

yeah.

LIAM: Okay.

MARISHA: This is an equal opportunity ship.

LAURA: That’s right.

LIAM: Pat, pat, pat.

TRAVIS: What you got down there?

LIAM: Oh, she’s a beaut, Grog, I wish you could

see her.

(all laugh)

TRAVIS: Really? Describe her to me in vivid

detail.

LIAM: Oh, uh. Athletic, hearty. You know,

curves in all the right places.

TRAVIS: I’m loving this.

LIAM: Yup, yup. Your type, I think.

TRAVIS: Man, battle scars?

LIAM: Uh.

TRAVIS: How many breasts? Please say three.

LIAM: It’s one good, one good chest, here.

You know what, I will draw you a picture.

All right?

TRAVIS: Yeah, that’s great!

LIAM: Okay. I’m gonna try to climb up without

falling into the drink, all right?

TRAVIS: Oh, yeah, that’d be good.

MATT: Okay, go ahead and make an athletics check

real fast

TRAVIS: (giggles)

LIAM: Is this my character sheet?

(all laugh)

LIAM: That’s a five.

MATT: That’s a five? (laughs) You hear this brief

bit of tension (sound of exertion).

And then a (splash).

LAURA: (gasps)

TRAVIS: Vax? Vax? Yeah, okay, right, you fell off

the ship. Right? Vax? Um?!

(all laugh)

SAM: First player death.

TRAVIS: I think Vax may have fallen overboard.

MARISHA: Grog, what did you do?

TRAVIS: I know it could be a very elaborate joke,

but you know that sound when you deuce,

and it goes (ker-ploop)?

(all laugh)

TRAVIS: I just heard that and I think it was Vax.

MARISHA: Ugh.

LAURA: Can I look down in the water?

MATT: (laughs) Yeah, you look down, you don’t see

anybody in the water, but a moment passes and you

glance over and there, up the side of the ship,

with two daggers, climbing, and soaking,

sopping wet with seawater, which has caused all

of the heavy, thick black fabric to just become an

additional 40 pounds on him, you watch Vax make

his way up to the top of the ship once more.

LIAM: This is the best this armor has smelled in

weeks!

(all laugh)

LIAM: Ugh. I love the ocean!

LAURA: I’m gonna land in the crow’s nest with

Percy.

TRAVIS: That was amazing! You are so drenched

right now.

LIAM: I’m twice as heavy as normal.

TRAVIS: Man. Yeah, no seriously, she’s that

stunning, huh, in the front?

LIAM: I start–

TRAVIS: I can’t wait for the picture.

LIAM: Oh yeah, yes, big.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LIAM: Big.

TRAVIS: Big booby.

(all laugh)

LIAM: That’s you.

TRAVIS: Big booby.

MARISHA: I kinda do a quick, like, Druidcraft gust

and dry him off a little bit.

MATT: Okay. It’s like holding a hairdryer to him,

just (loud whooshing).

(all laugh)

MATT: His lips are like (pbbbft) off to the side

briefly.

LIAM: I shake like a husky a little bit.

MATT: Exactly.

MATT: All right, you said you head to the crow’s

nest with Percy?

LAURA: Yes.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: Okay. Anything in particular, just keeping

watch?

LAURA: Just keeping watch.

TALIESIN: Sitting and sketching.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Looking out every now and then.

LAURA: I don’t feel as nauseous up here,

it’s nice.

TALIESIN: Quite nice.

MATT: All right. About two hours later, I’ll have

you both roll perception checks, if you could.

LIAM: This is the laziest day we’ve ever had.

LAURA: I know, it’s nice.

MATT: Mm-hm.

TALIESIN: Wow, no.

MATT: Days at sea, it’s nice.

SAM: Meanwhile, Whitestone burns.

(all laugh)

MATT: Shh.

TRAVIS: Getting flashes.

LAURA and MARISHA: No!

TALIESIN: To be fair, I’m not really looking very

much.

MATT: Fair enough.

TALIESIN: 11.

MATT: Okay. 11. Yeah, you’re distracted.

TRAVIS: Oh, jeez.

TALIESIN: I’m distracted.

MATT: With your companion.

LAURA: 18.

MATT: 18. Okay.

TALIESIN: You’re less distracted.

LAURA: Uh, pretty distracted for Vex.

TRAVIS: Is it clear skies or are we sailing

through fog?

MATT: Uh, no, it is clear skies.

TRAVIS: Right, so we could just look up,

and see horror.

TALIESIN: Wait, what?

TRAVIS: What?

LAURA: We’re not having sex, we’re just talking.

TRAVIS: Oh!

TALIESIN: Just having a chill. It’s just to chill

up there. It’s nice.

TRAVIS: Oh, right.

LIAM: Just like a prom make-out, that’s all.

LAURA: No! Just chatting.

TALIESIN: You’re just sitting and drawing in a

basket!

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: In a crow’s nest? Like a big laundry

basket? It’s just like–

TALIESIN: Yes, it’s basically a hamper.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS Oh, okay.

LIAM: It’s the most privacy you’ve had–

SAM: Any hand action going on?

TALIESIN: Oh my God!

MATT: (laughs) Jesus Christ!

LAURA: No hand action, no hand action.

TALIESIN: That got dark.

MATT: Anyway, you guys, due to distraction,

catch it about the same time the rest of the

party does. As you look ahead and notice that

there is a fog bank forming maybe

a few hundred feet ahead of the ship.

TRAVIS: Called it.

LAURA: Oh, shit.

MARISHA: Who sees it?

MATT: Well, everybody does now.

MARISHA: Oh, everybody does now. Can I do a nature

check to see if it looks like natural ocean fog?

MATT: Go for it.

MARISHA: That’s not great. 14.

MATT: 14. It doesn’t take much for you to realize

that this fog is pretty localized. It’s not an

entire bank that covers the entirety of the ocean

in actuance. You kind of travel from one side of

the boat to the other to get the scope of it.

It’s pretty narrow

and pretty focused in its direction.

MARISHA: Does this look like something that I

would have?

Like, is this another druid doing a

fog cloud spell?

MATT: You recognize this to be of similar size

although magnified.

MARISHA: Bigger than us?

MATT: A little–

MARISHA: Than my spell. Bigger than my spell?

MATT: Bigger than the usual spell that you are

used to casting but it does appear localized

enough to be of a similar-type spell or effect.

TRAVIS: Hey, Keyleth?

MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Quick question. Is there a d– decor– uh,

like a proper way to announce ourselves?

SAM: Protocol.

TRAVIS: Thank you.

MARISHA: Well, I–

MATT: The ship suddenly lists a bit as you watch

as Adella is now turning the wheel and turning the

ship to try and veer around the fog bank that

suddenly has appeared, and she’s shouting off to

some of her crew. They’re starting to man the

ballista at the back of the ship once more–

LAURA: Is this normal? Is this a sea monster?

MATT: “Um. It’s fog!”

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: “I have not yet encountered a monster that

creates fog!

"But I’d rather not be caught off guard.”

MARISHA: Wait, wait, wait, this–

SAM: I can communicate with semaphore if that’s

something you’d like me to do?

TRAVIS: What’s semaphore?

SAM: It’s communication with flags. It’s a

primitive communication technique that I learned

in many of my studies, boat-to-boat it’s really

helpful.

I pull out a couple of pieces of fabric

and start gesturing–

TRAVIS: Holy shit. You’re that guy.

(all laugh)

TRAVIS: Where is the other boat?

SAM: Well, you just said to announce ourselves,

I could announce. Vox–

LAURA: I wonder if they can see through the fog?

SAM: – Ma–

TRAVIS: Yeah, we should have him do that.

You should go to the front of the ship–

SAM: – chi–

TRAVIS: – and just make sure they know we’re

coming.

MARISHA: Can you do any flourishes?

SAM: – na.

MARISHA: Can you do any like tosses? Like color

guard?

SAM: Oh, no, no.

MARISHA: Oh, damn. All right.

SAM: That would be really cool, though.

MARISHA: Sorry, Captain? How close are we to our

destination? This could be Vesrah.

MATT: “From the recent calculations I made on our

map, we’re at least a day and a half out.”

MARISHA: Really? Does this look to be

island-sized?

MATT: She’s glancing over the front and– you

guys, by the way, are up there in the crow’s nest

and one of the ship hands is now climbing up the

rope net to get to the top as part of his job–

LAURA: It’s a little crowded up here, but–

MATT: – he gets up there and goes, “Um.”

LAURA: I hop on the broom and get out of it so he

has more room.

TALIESIN: I’m used to this enough, I know how to

make room from last time I was on a boat.

MATT: He hops in and pulls out his spy glass and

begins looking out. Shouts down to the captain.

“Captain! It’s moving!”

LAURA: It’s moving!

TALIESIN: It’s moving?

MATT: And you watch as she shifts– the ship

begins to turn wide to move around and the fog

shifts to meet the direction of the ship.

LAURA: Oh, shit.

TRAVIS: Smart fog.

LAURA: I just pull out an arrow and get ready.

MARISHA: So it’s coming towards us?

MATT: Mm-hm, or the ship is going towards it.

LAURA: I’m going to tie off a rope to the broom.

TALIESIN: Not a bad idea.

MATT: All right. She continues to try and move

around, and the fog cloud shifts around,

shakes her head and you hear as Adella shouts

out, “All right, looks like we’re going in.

"Be at the ready!” And eventually the fog bank

hits the front of the ship, and within moments

your visibility is cut to nothing.

TRAVIS: What?

MATT: You can see no more than maybe a few feet

past the edge of the boat, and for those at the

back of the ship, the front of the ship is

obscured. Those at the front of the ship,

the back of the ship is obscured. It is a very,

very thick fog

that has completely immersed the outside of

the ship.

TRAVIS: Vax, don’t try anything.

TALIESIN: Everybody keep checking in.

SAM: I will flip a coin to Jumbo over there and

tell him, listen,

if things get hairy you might

want to use this.

TRAVIS: Use what? I can’t see you.

SAM: Oh, God! Shit!

(all laugh)

MARISHA: I do another Gust of Wind and clear the

ship deck and clear the path ahead of us.

MATT: Okay. They clear out, and slowly the fog

begins to choke back inwards. Slowly, it does help

temporarily, but as the ship moves forward

basically you move past the area that you’ve

cleared out a little bit, and the rest of the fog

tends to envelop it.

MARISHA: I’m going to see if I can see what this

is from underneath the water. I’ll be back.

And I swan-dive off of the edge and into the

water.

LAURA: Did you say it over the earring?

MARISHA: Yeah, bye. I’ll be back. Bye!

I’m going to do Alter Self to give myself

little gills

and little fin hands and go with the ship.

SAM: As I see her do this, I am going to alter

myself to have the same.

MARISHA: Oh! What’s up, Tary?

SAM: I pick up the coin and hand it to Grog and

say, this will make you fly.

And I’ll dive over the edge as well.

MATT: Okay, Tary gives a graceful, if a little

clunkier, dive.

In full armor, which makes it hard to swim.

SAM: Oh, shit.

(all laugh)

MATT: But you can breathe underwater. It’s medium

armor, it’s not too crazy, you’re fine. But you

with a much heavier splash. You look behind you,

and see Taryon has met you in the water with the

gills also kind of extending out of the sides of

his neck.

I would like both of you to make perception

checks.

(all laugh)

MATT: Make perception checks, please.

MARISHA: Don’t fuck me, Gil.

SAM: 16.

MARISHA: It was cocked. It was right on a 20,

which sucks.

That’s all right, perception check, 24.

MATT: 24. Okay, as you guys hit the water and go

underneath for a second, you can see amongst the

water, which is relatively still out here,

and there’s still the fog above,

you see a slight displacement in the water.

SAM: Oh, there’s something in the water, a boat.

MATT: Keyleth, you look over and you can see the

displacement. There is nothing dark, but it’s

almost like something is pushing down into the

water,

or like there is a concave portion of the water.

MARISHA: But nothing under the surface? Nothing

breaking the surface tension of the water?

MATT: It is breaking the surface tension,

like it’s in– as you glance over you can see

there’s what appears to be an unnatural break in

the waves like a path.

LAURA: Like it’s invisible?

MATT: It’s like another ship or something of that

size is currently keeping in time with the

Drensala Vis.

TALIESIN: Oh.

MARISHA: It looks smooth. It looks man-made?

MATT: Well, you don’t see what’s there. All you

see is the break in the water.

MARISHA: It’s invisible. Okay, I come up out of

the water and I

use my earring to communicate that

to everyone else.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Do you still have your fucking gills on?

MARISHA: It’s, you know–

I don’t know, do I?

LAURA: Does that mean you choke?

TRAVIS: Yeah are you like–

MARISHA: Can I communicate?

SAM: She has gills but she keeps her mouth and

stuff right?

MARISHA: I can still talk.

MATT: You can still speak, I’d say, once you break

the surface of the water.

MARISHA: Yeah I come out of the water and

communicate it.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: You sound like Kim Carnes. Everybody,

this is great.

(all laugh)

MARISHA: A little bit like Linda Blair.

MATT: All right, you guys hear Keyleth begin to

inform you as you hear off to the left side of the

ship two localized sounds– it sounds like wood

slamming into wood or some sort of a heavy impact,

two in rapid succession. And you watch as from

out of the fog two extremely long metallic jagged

and almost like hooks or giant grappling hooks

slam into the ship with chains behind them that

suddenly grow taut. The rest of the crew begins to

turn around and move their ballistas in the

direction of where the chains come from,

but you still see nothing there.

The fog is too thick.

LIAM: I’m going to hide.

MATT: Okay, go ahead and roll a stealth check.

TRAVIS: And we can see the hooks, right?

MATT: You can see the hooks, yes.

LAURA: Can we see the hooks from the crow’s nest?

MATT: It’s just out of view. You watch them pass

through, and you see them arc below you,

and then vanish into the fog. And you hear the

impact

and the ship kind of (impact noise) from the hit.

LAURA: I want to try and hover down so I can see a

little better.

TALIESIN: Are you with me?

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I’m going to very quietly say that I’m

going to grab onto your broom and head towards

that end. I’m also going to activate the spider

climbing boots.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: I would definitely like to go and see the

giant sea creature claw

that just grabbed onto the boat.

MATT: Okay, you rush up to the edge of this giant

claw that’s hit it and you can see it’s a thick–

like a dark iron pole maybe about that long–

TRAVIS: Oh!

MATT: – it’s about that big around and has a

large chain affixed to it that just progresses off

that side of the boat into the fog. It looks like

a series of giant hooks or curved spikes,

and it has jammed and dug itself and dragged and

caught on to the actual deck of the ship.

TRAVIS: Good news, not a sea monster. Bad news,

a big hook that leads to nowhere.

LAURA: Get it off the ship. Can you pull it off?

TRAVIS: Sure. So I’ll try and lift the hook off

the ship.

MATT: Go ahead and make a strength check.

TRAVIS: 15.

MATT: 15. You’re lifting right now and it’s not

shifting. Unfortunately, the weight of both the

ship moving forward, the tension on the chain and

the hook, and the hook being so heavily dug into

the deck, like versus that portion you’re just not

getting enough of a lift. There’s too much torsion

on the actual connection to the ship.

TRAVIS: You know what, I want to see where this

leads. I’m going to leave it here.

LIAM: Fuck you, physics.

MARISHA: I’m going to swim closer to where the

chains are coming from

and swim closer to the invisi-ship.

SAM: I join her.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Trinket’s going to run up next to Grog.

MATT: Okay, so Trinket and Grog are now heading to

the left side of the ship–

TRAVIS: Hey, buddy.

MATT: –you guys are swimming in the water towards

that direction, and you watch as suddenly what was

once a slight displacement in the water becomes

visible. And you see before you a smaller,

more compact-looking ship, but it has a series of

iron plates all across it in various places.

It’s armored from all directions, haphazardly.

Not a beautiful construction per se, but made for

function.

MARISHA: I’m going to come up– oh, go ahead.

MATT: You look up, and from what you can see on

the edge of the ship, and you can see what appear

to be two small gray crystals that are giving a

faint glow, and it looks like they are actually

creating and emanating this fog that is

surrounding the space.

TRAVIS: Awesome.

TALIESIN: Fog machine.

MARISHA: I’m going to come up and, in the path as

the ship is going by, can I do a poof of Faerie

Fire in front of it? To see if I can Faerie Fire

the ship?

MATT: Okay, well, you can only Faerie Fire

creatures in a small area, a ship–

MARISHA: It’s not going to do it.

MATT: –probably shouldn’t be Faerie Fire.

MARISHA: Okay, then I’m going to see if I can–

can I try and grab onto the side of the ship?

MATT: With just your fingers? It’s pretty– I

mean– okay, you know what, I will say because of

the iron plating there is a little bit of a grip.

MARISHA: The seams?

MATT: Go ahead and make an athletics check.

TRAVIS: With your webbed fingers.

SAM: Can I join her on this?

MATT: Mm-hm. You can, indeed.

MARISHA: Natural one.

MATT: You reach up and grab, and about three nails

snap,

and you lose your grip, falling back into the

water.

LAURA: Oh, shit.

TALIESIN: Oh, ow.

LAURA: That’s just mean.

MARISHA: That shit hurts.

SAM: Athletics?

MATT: Yes.

SAM: Ten.

MATT: You barely hold on. You don’t climb,

but you hold on and watch as Keyleth just–

SAM: Oh! I’m alone.

(all laugh)

SAM: Do I see her in the water?

MATT: You see her splash and disappear under the

water below.

The fog is starting to close around the area.

SAM: Shit. She can swim; she’ll be okay.

She’s so strong and powerful.

MARISHA: Do I see Tary?

MATT: You just went under the water. You come back

up and you watch Tary vanish as you’re now being

left behind. The ships are traveling faster.

LAURA: Keyleth, can you do anything about this

fog?

MARISHA: Yes! Once I track down the ship.

I kind of swim up and I say, Tary can you catch–

this might be bad. Do I see any type of– what are

they called? Cleats. The ship cleats. Do I see

anything like ship cleats? Right?

TALIESIN: Yeah, no, that’s right, it’s the little

prongs.

MARISHA: Like the little things, the prongs.

Do I see anything like that? I want to try and do

a– like a grasp– like Thorn Whip myself to the

ship.

MATT: You see one, it’s a little ways up from

where the ship is actually hitting the water.

You would have to probably swim close enough to

get there. I’m going to say, make an athletics

check to see how quickly you can try and swim

against the ocean just for this brief moment.

You’re going to have to roll pretty high.

MARISHA: Well, that’s not great. Just straight

athletics?

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Athletics is pretty good! 15!

MATT: 15?

MARISHA: Yeah!

MATT: I’ll say you don’t fall too far behind the

ship, it’s still going faster than you and the

water is kind of up and down. Using your Alter

Self gills, you can dive below the surface to try

and avoid the choppiness of the ocean, and you

come back up.

What’s the range on your Thorn Whip?

MARISHA: 30-foot range.

MATT: 30-foot range, and it pulls whatever is

there ten feet towards you. We can say it’ll pull

you ten feet towards it. So it gives you a slight

arc, but not enough to actually reach the ship,

you can just cruise past the grasping range of

Taryon. So, Taryon, as you’re there on the side

and you glance over and you watch as Keyleth

suddenly produces a large thorny whip, a druidic

vine that wraps around the small cleat on the side

of the ship.

SAM: Oh, shit.

MATT: And you watch as she arcs out of the fog

towards you,

reaching her hand out in your direction.

SAM: I will–

MARISHA: Tary!

SAM: Yes!

MARISHA: Tary!

SAM: Yes, grab my hero’s hand.

(all laugh)

MATT: Okay. You grab her hand–

MARISHA: Tary! I want to apologize right now.

Because in this moment,

I am a damsel and I am in distress!

(all laugh)

MARISHA: So cross it off, bitch. Come on!

MATT: Make a strength check.

SAM: Okay. Okay.

TALIESIN: Oh, please. Oh, please.

SAM: Wait, strength?

MATT: Yes, just a strength modifier bonus.

SAM: I’m feeling lucky! Yeah.

(all laugh)

SAM: 19.

LIAM: Hey!

MATT: Okay. All right. You grab her, and you– it

pulls you from two points, but you had managed to

keep your hold and grasp Keyleth, now dangling

from your arm.

SAM: I did a lot of pushups today! Ow, ow, ow,

ow.

MATT: It is. You’re very sore–

(all laugh)

MATT: You are very sore, but you manage to get her

right up to the edge of the ship, and she manages

to get a grip onto the edge.

SAM: I. Was amazing.

(all laugh)

MARISHA: You were.

Today, in this moment, for this 30

seconds of time–

SAM: Augh!

(all laugh)

TALIESIN: I’m gonna be in the middle of this for

months.

MARISHA: –you were a hero.

TALIESIN: I’m gonna be right in the middle of

this. For months. Okay.

SAM: We’ll omit that part.

(all laugh)

TALIESIN: Did it leave a little stain?

SAM: It’s in my nose.

MARISHA: Thanks. Okay.

MATT: You look up at this point and you can just

barely see the chain, and you watch as a couple

shapes, just barely visible through the fog,

are now

leaping across the chain towards your ship. So–

MARISHA: I give a heads up. Heads up, heads up,

people. Incoming forces, coming your way!

MATT: You guys in the ship, you glance over where

the chains are currently pulling taut. You watch

as a series of humanoid figures wearing dark,

dark green and black leathers, their faces

partially obscured, rush onto the ship,

weapons drawn.

I’m gonna ask everyone to roll initiative.

MARISHA: Fuck. I hope these aren’t my–

TRAVIS: Right. You ran into our ship!

MARISHA: –these aren’t, like, my people,

right? I haven’t found out who they are.

LAURA: I know! What if they are?

TRAVIS: We gonna kill 'em.

MARISHA: No!

TALIESIN: Whoa! I don’t feel good about that.

LAURA: Look at that!

MARISHA: Yay, it’s a boat!

TRAVIS: Boats!

SAM: There’s a boat!

Oh, wow, the top-down view looks so

three-dimensional right now.

LAURA: Yeah, really, it does.

SAM: It’s really cool.

LAURA: This is insane! This looks so 3D!

TRAVIS: Well done, man!

SAM: 1980s graphics!

MATT: I can’t take full credit for these.

These were already premade

TRAVIS: Aw.

TALIESIN: This is like the finest arcade that I’ve

ever been by.

LAURA: This is so cool.

TRAVIS: Which one’s us?

MATT: All right. There’s the two of them in the

ocean currently off to the side.

TRAVIS: You dingalings.

LAURA: They can fly. They can fly. Oh my goodness

gracious.

This is so cool. What is this? What is that?

MATT: All right, so. Up in the crow’s nest,

we have Percy, one of the other shipmates,

kinda up there. We have, down here at the wheel,

the captain.

These two, wielding two different ballistas.

TRAVIS: At the bow of the ship, heading for –

LAURA: – a new land!

MATT: We have Doty, just hanging off to the side,

watching and trying to take record of whatever’s

happening at the moment. Grog, where are you?

TRAVIS: Wherever that grappling hook was.

MATT: That would be right here.

SAM: (roars)

MATT: With Trinket right by your side.

TRAVIS: Welcoming committee.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: We’re gonna eat it.

LAURA: Me and Percy had said we were sort of on

our way down.

TALIESIN: Or actually, we had sort of headed

towards the other boat.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Right, so you guys had made your way.

So, yeah. So–

TALIESIN: I was gonna ask you to drop me at the

other crow’s nest on the other ship.

LAURA: Oh.

TRAVIS: You need more iron in my diet.

MARISHA: These are probably the Water Ashari,

aren’t they?

MATT: So you guys are heading this way? Are you

taking him with you?

TALIESIN: If you’re down.

LAURA: Uh, I was going to. I wasn’t going to go

all the way to the other boat, but I can.

If you want to go with us.

TALIESIN: Oh, please!

SAM: Toy boat, toy boat.

SAM, TALIESIN, and LAURA: Toy boat.

TALIESIN and LAURA: Toy boat.

SAM: Tor Books.

SAM and TALIESIN: Tor Books, Tor Books.

(all laugh)

TALIESIN: Tor Books, Tor Books, Tor Books.

It’s actually kinda hard.

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: All right. Vax, where are you? Since you are

hiding.

LIAM: Well, I did a stealth check, and I got a

25–

MATT: Right.

LIAM: I didn’t know what the boat looked like,

so if there’s stuff in the bottom, I’d hide

there, but if they’re gone, I could also have gone up

to the crow’s nest. Whichever.

MATT: You could probably be hiding amongst one of

the low sails probably. So we’ll say you’re up in

this sail.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: In that vicinity. All righty. So. Bringing

us now to the initiative order.

TALIESIN: Oh, boy.

MATT: 25 to 20?

LIAM: Shit.

MATT: All righty.

LAURA: Oh, no.

SAM: Yikes.

LIAM: (knocks on table)

MATT: 20 to 15?

TALIESIN: 15.

LAURA: 18.

LIAM: 18.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Eee.

LIAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: Twins.

LIAM: Wapetopetok!

LAURA and LIAM: (explosion sounds)

TRAVIS: You both had 18?

LAURA: Yeah!

TRAVIS: Nice.

MATT: 15 to ten?

TRAVIS: 14.

MATT: Grog. All right.

MARISHA: Oh. 11. Sorry.

MATT: That’s all right. Keyleth. And then?

SAM: Eight.

MATT: Tary.

LAURA: Hey, look, some things don’t change.

(all laugh)

MATT: Nice!

TALIESIN: Burn!

SAM: Stings.

MATT: All righty. So. You watch as these figures

just jump across from the chains that are lashed

onto the boat, and as two of them make it across,

suddenly, up the side of the ship, you watch as

if a singular wave seems to (water rushing) and

splash onto the edge of the ship. However,

as the water crests and splashes into the ground,

it forms up into its own physical entity.

SAM: Ooh.

TRAVIS: What?

MARISHA: Oh shit. Water elementals.

MATT: You’ve seen this form once before,

that Keyleth has taken–

LAURA: (gasps)

MATT: –this is a water elemental.

LAURA: What if this is the Ashari?

MARISHA: It probably is. Just haven’t figured that

out yet.

MATT: (laughs) Where did I last put it? All

righty, so. That being the case, I’m gonna go

ahead and pull these up there.

LAURA: Did we say we did anything about the fog?

The fog is still there.

MATT: The fog is still in this vicinity right now.

So, you’re under the effect of a Fog Cloud

spell… for the area. So, basically, the area

around is heavily obscured. So that will increase

uh, AC to a number of individuals. Perfect.

All right, so. So first off, this elemental

rushes forward to Grog, splashes around in your

direction. Grog, it’s gonna go ahead and take a

series of swings at you.

TRAVIS: Sweet.

MATT: Yeah, it’s gonna take two slam attacks.

That is a 23 to hit?

TRAVIS: Hits.

MATT: And an 18 to hit.

TRAVIS: Hits also.

MATT: All righty. So you suffer 12 points of

bludgeoning damage.

That’s full damage. You’re not raging.

TRAVIS: Nope.

MATT: And that is 15. 15 points of bludgeoning

damage.

TRAVIS: Total? Or 12 and 15 both?

MATT: 12 and 15.

TRAVIS: Gotcha.

MATT: All right, that ends that guy’s turn.

Next up is Vax and Vex.

LAURA: I was on my way over to the other–

TALIESIN: Drop off.

LAURA: – towards the other ship.

TRAVIS: Bludgeoning.

TALIESIN: As long as you roll by, I’ll just let

go.

LAURA: Okay.

TALIESIN: You can drop me off.

LAURA: Percy wants to be dropped off at the crow’s

nest, so I’ll fly over that direction.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Keeping an eye out for anything visible

that I can shoot at.

TALIESIN: The minute I see a rope, I’ll just let

go and drop. So she can just keep moving.

MATT: Okay. So we’ll say–

LAURA: Flyby.

MATT: As you guys make it onto the other side of

the ship–

TALIESIN: You know, you could’ve spent your time

making

two very complex Lego pirate ships. All week.

MATT: You’re right.

TALIESIN: I’m just saying.

MATT: But I don’t have that time, unfortunately.

(all laugh)

MATT: Right, so you guys, right over to this ship

here?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: You drop him in the crow’s nest.

LAURA: Uh-huh.

MATT: All right. And you are currently on your

bow? Is that all you’re gonna do?

LAURA: I’m on– yeah, I’m on my broom. I’m just

riding my bow around.

MATT: Fair enough.

LAURA: Can I drift down to where I can see

anything and I say to Keyleth, Uh, fog?

Can you do anything about the fog?

MATT: On their ship?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay. So as you coast down a little lower,

I want you to make a perception check.

LAURA: I like that one. 31.

TRAVIS: Jesus.

MATT: 31. You glance down, and as the fog parts,

you see on this ship, there are three other

similarly dressed, dark green and black leather

humanoids that are now beginning to rush over the

chain, and standing back, on the back of the ship,

arms crossed, you see a large humanoid with

a fish-like head. It has no nose, a big

fish-like mouth, big bulbous throat, kind of a

greenish-blue skin color, very turquoise,

with big fin gills at the side and a large crest

that goes down the head. But it’s wearing fine

billowing silks, and a large vest, and its lower

torso, from this giant oversized kind of plump

belly, the lower torso is just this swirl of water

that sits there, and it looks like it’s currently

concentrating

through the fog on the opposite side.

LAURA: Oh, jebus.

MATT: It does not seem to notice you at the

moment.

LAURA: Then, I’m gonna try to Bramble Shot that

motherfucker.

MATT: It is right there.

MARISHA: Well, that’s pretty cool.

LAURA: I’m gonna try to shoot a Bramble Shot at

him.

MATT: Go for it.

LAURA: Okay. 20?

MATT: 20? Hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

LAURA: Yes. Okay. Oh, Hunter’s Mark. Motherfuck!

That’s okay, sneak attack.

TRAVIS: It’s all right, you’ve never played this

game before.

LAURA: Why? I can’t help it, I get so happy.

Okay.

MATT: Let’s see. Actually, roll again. Because in

the fog cloud

you do have disadvantage on strikes.

TRAVIS: Oh, that’s cruel, man.

LAURA: That’s cruel.

TRAVIS: (laughs painfully) Don’t do it.

MATT: One?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: Oh. That sucks.

LAURA: That’s okay. That’s okay, I’m gonna try to

do another shot.

And in that downtime, I’m gonna

fucking Hunter’s Mark.

SAM: Yeah!

MATT: There you go.

SAM: Turn them lemons–

TRAVIS: Into orange juice.

(all laugh)

MATT: So this entity is currently Hunter’s Marked,

and you can

take your second attack, if you like.

LAURA: Okay. I can’t do a Bramble Shot again

'cause that was wasted? Or does that mean– Does a

Bramble Shot only work if it connects?

MATT: I’m gonna say for the purpose of this

Bramble Shot, 'cause it’s only fair and it’s a

powerful vestige, it only works if it connects.

That should change the wording on that.

LAURA: Okay. Okay, I’m gonna try.

MATT: Go for it.

LAURA: 19?

MATT: 19 does hit.

LAURA: Yes! Okay. 15 plus four lightning damage.

MATT: Slick.

LAURA: Plus Sneak Attack. Woo, an 11 for the Sneak

Attack and Hunter’s Mark. And then the DC of 17 or

be restrained. That’s strength save.

MATT: Gotcha.

LAURA: And I’m gonna do the Bramble Shot damage

now.

MATT: That is a 13.

LAURA: Hoo, yes! He’s restrained.

MATT: Go for it, roll the damage. For Bramble

Shot.

LAURA: Ooh. Is that a sev– that’s a one. 16.

MATT: 16. Okay. I’m gonna go ahead and make a

concentration check on him. He succeeds.

With a 26. All right, so, the first shot whips

past and just slams into the ship. You watch as

this giant fish entity kinda glances off to the

side, looks down and starts looking up into the

fog cloud, but you’re right above it at this

point, or just off to the side, and you fire your

second arrow, it turns just in time to see it hit

it in the shoulder, as it glances up, tries to

snap it free. The wooden shaft of the arrow

suddenly sprouts all these vines and thorns that

begin to wrap around it and it tears in its body,

and

it’s currently stuck in place. It cannot

move.

LAURA: Awesome. And I say, Percy, spellcaster,

right below you. Fish guy.

TALIESIN: (exhales) Got it.

Not sure what to do.

SAM: Noted.

MATT: All right. So, ending that, we come to Vax’s

turn.

LIAM: One of the assailants is directly across

from me, on the other side of our boat, right?

MATT: There is one crossing right now.

LIAM: But there is one guy who made it onto the

boat?

MATT: There’s two of them who made onto the boat,

right there.

LIAM: Right there? I’m gonna attempt to

Assassinate that motherfucker.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Oh, god!

MATT: So you’re– we’ll say you’re up over,

you kind of shimmy your way along the edge of the

sail, and you’re looking right down below him.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: This guy right there.

LIAM: So, advantage on this.

MATT: The guy closest to Grog, or the guy who’s

alone right there?

LIAM: The one that you are touching right now.

MATT: Okay, gotcha.

LIAM: Yeah. So that is a 32 to hit.

MATT: That will hit.

LIAM: So this is Assassinate, it’s an auto-crit–

MATT: Did you roll at disadvantage because of the

fog cloud?

LIAM: Well, no, but I’m at advantage because of

Assassinate, so the first roll was a 19.

MATT: Yeah, so you’re fine.

LIAM: Which is still a 32. Here we go.

LAURA: I get 2d6 now for Sneak Attack.

MATT: You do. So roll another d6.

LAURA: Another six!

MATT: Nice!

TALIESIN: Hey, that die!

MATT: That’s 48 points of damage in one hit.

LAURA: Bramble Shot, motherfucker!

LIAM: Doing my maths over here. 32, 36, 72.

That’s 80 points of damage.

MATT: 80 points of damage.

TRAVIS: What the fuck? No wonder Tary almost

died.

LIAM: Is he still standing?

MATT: No.

(all laugh)

TRAVIS: Assassinate!

MATT: Just leaps off the chain and pulls out what

looks like– for this, it would be a dagger and a

rapier. Glances around and goes lunging in for the

captain of the ship. Gets maybe two steps,

before your blade sinks into the back of the

neck. And he just hits the side, and collapses,

right at the edge of the ship right there. Done.

LIAM: Okay, just for funsies I will throw my

second dagger at the one right in front of Trink.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: So, that is not that good.

LAURA: Ooh.

LIAM: That’s a 13.

MATT: Okay, yeah. Even with disadvantage. Okay.

So this one you fire, and just disappears off to

the side of the ship, but returns to your belt.

Are you gonna stay where you are?

LIAM: No, I’m gonna drop down.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: And circle around Trinket’s tush.

MATT: All right. Make an acrobatics check.

LIAM: Sure.

MATT: Just to land from the top there.

LIAM: Yeah, 25.

MATT: Yeah, you’re fine. So you move around behind

Trinket. All righty. That ends your turn, Vax.

Percy, you’re up.

TALIESIN: Okay, I’m gonna take a quick look around

to see if I can figure out what’s causing this fog

because it’s annoying me.

MATT: Perception check.

TALIESIN: That’s a 19.

MATT: Glancing about in the area, it’s hard to

see, especially from this vantage point.

The area is so heavily obscured with fog.

You do glance and see what looks to be a very,

very faint general glow in a lower area towards

the edge of the ship.

But that’s all you can make out.

TALIESIN: Starboard? Port?

MATT: It’d be on this side.

TALIESIN: All right.

Somebody take a look at anything. There’s a glow

coming from the starboard side of the enemy ship.

It’s the one closest to our ship. We need to find

out what’s causing this fog. In the meantime,

I’m gonna slowly make my way down a couple of the

ropes. Is that an enemy right there? That guy?

MATT: You’re up here.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I know. I’m asking if that’s an

enemy on our ship, right there.

MATT: This is an enemy right there.

MARISHA: The water elemental.

MATT: These are enemies. These are your guys,

the guys with the red cloaks; the red color

signifies your own crewmates.

TALIESIN: Okay, so we have two enemies that are

currently on their ship.

MATT: Two enemies in their ship, one that’s

currently crossing,

and one that is on the other side.

TALIESIN: Okay, I’m gonna slowly start making my

way, just maybe a few feet down, and I’m going to

shoot those two people who are on the very edge.

Both of them in the back.

SAM: There’s no honor in that.

TALIESIN: No. There is, on the other hand,

fine comedy about to happen.

SAM: True, true.

TALIESIN: I’m gonna very, very carefully.

And I’m at disadvantage with this?

MATT: Disadvantage with each strike, yes.

TALIESIN: Oh, that’s annoying. Okay, I’m gonna use

the pepperbox, the Animus,

and I’m also going to burn a Grit for a push.

MATT: For which one of these guys?

TALIESIN: What about one on each?

MATT: One of these two?

TALIESIN: Both of them. I’ll start with the first

one, and work my way down.

MATT: Okay. First one there.

TALIESIN: All right, so, let’s see what happens.

MARISHA: Big money, no whammies!

TALIESIN: That will do. That’s a 28?

MATT: 28 will hit.

TALIESIN: And that’s– I’m sorry, you know why I’m

a little confused,

I just had to switch, again. That’s, wow–

MARISHA: That’s good.

TALIESIN: – that’s good. That’s 17 points of

damage and five points of psychic damage.

MATT: Nice!

TALIESIN: And he goes ten feet away from me.

TRAVIS: Ah.

LAURA: Oh!

MARISHA: (yelps)

TALIESIN: (laughs)

MATT: As he’s trying to step across the chain–

LIAM: Wilhelm scream.

MATT: (gunshot)

MARISHA: (Wilhelm screams)

MATT: He gets blasted. And (Wilhelm scream) just

plunges off the side of the chain, loses his footing,

tumbles over, and vanishes into the fog.

And you hear this splash, a moment later.

TALIESIN: Next! I love boats.

MATT: So this guy? Disadvantage on this shot.

TALIESIN: Yep. Here we go. That’s, oh that’s good,

29. I’m rolling really well.

MATT: Yeah, that will hit.

TALIESIN: Not as well as yesterday, but really

well.

MARISHA: (singing) I got a nautical themed,

pashmina Afghan.

TALIESIN: And that’s five, six: that’s 11 points

of damage and five points of psychic damage,

and a ten-foot push.

MATT: All righty. Okay. He also (snapping sound)

falls off, grabs the chain, catches it with his

finger, but because of the sea spray and the fog,

it’s too slick and

(slipping sound, Wilhelm scream) just falls.

TALIESIN: I was just gonna say, he’s happy to

grab, and I’ll deal with that too.

MATT: Yeah. But they both have fallen off the

ship.

MARISHA: That’s what she said? No.

TALIESIN: I can make him drop things. I have that

power.

MARISHA: Oh. My god. Drop the chain they’re

holding on to?

TALIESIN: I’ve been wanting to watch somebody

holding on and make them drop it. I’ve been

wanting to do that for like, probably a year and a

half now.

God, is there anybody fun on our side?

LAURA: The fish guy.

TALIESIN: You’ve got him grappled.

MATT: You’ve one guy walking across, right now,

on the chain, and the guy below you who is grappled,

and the water elemental that’s also attacking

you.

TRAVIS: Yeah, don’t you get advantage on grappled

guy?

TALIESIN: Technically I would. That would cancel

out, wouldn’t it?

MATT: He is restrained, which means attacks on him

are with advantage, so it would cancel it out.

TALIESIN: It would cancel it out automatically.

Oh. In that case, I’m gonna take a shot on him.

LAURA: And it’ll probably get a chance to be

unrestrained as soon as it’s his turn.

TALIESIN: Okay, good point. So, I’m gonna take a

Sharpshooter shot.

I’m also going to– is he holding anything?

MATT: Not that you can see.

TALIESIN: That’s good. And he’s a magic? Yeah,

that will do. I’ll just take a good old-fashioned

Sharpshooter shot. So that’s– that’s not as good.

That’s 18 to hit?

MATT: 18 to hit? Just barely hits.

TALIESIN: Oh, thank god. Okay.

LIAM: I hope these aren’t your cousins.

MARISHA: They might be.

TALIESIN: Well. They were a little–

TRAVIS: Nobody’s tried talking yet?

MARISHA: We’ll figure that out.

LAURA: We’re kind of being ambushed. So…

TALIESIN: That’s kind of heavy. That’s gonna be 24

points of damage,

and three points of psychic damage.

LAURA: I don’t think your cousins are fish

people.

MARISHA: My cousins might be fish men.

LIAM: They could be werefish or…

MARISHA: They could be anybody. They could be

werefish.

MATT: Gotcha. Okay, so you managed to fire

(gunshot) the third shot out from Animus.

You see it blasts into the upper shoulder and

back portion of this fish-like creature.

(growls) It does not look terribly happy.

But it is currently still bound by the various

thorny vines that have wrapped around it.

End your turn?

TALIESIN: Yeah, and I’m just gonna crawl a couple

feet into the ropes in that direction.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: I’m just gonna keep rope-swinging.

There we are.

MATT: There you go. All righty, that brings us to

Grog.

TRAVIS: After getting hit by the water elemental,

can I go, Hey! What do you want?

MATT: The water elemental just (gurgling growls).

TRAVIS: Fuck it. You got saltwater in my eyes; I

would like to rage!

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: I go into a rage.

MARISHA: It’s not me, Grog. It’s not me.

TRAVIS: Oh, I hadn’t thought about that.

(all laugh)

TRAVIS: And I beat the shit out of it with the

dwarven hammer. Two hits.

MATT: Go for it. Two strikes.

TRAVIS: Are these at disadvantage? Or I’m right up

there?

MATT: No, you’re melee, you’re fine.

TRAVIS: Hey! Reckless attack.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Oh, my.

LIAM: Hells yeah.

TRAVIS: 23.

MATT: That hits.

TRAVIS: Nice. 17.

MATT: 17 damage. Okay. Now your last strike?

TRAVIS: God, those are balls! They’re not literal

balls. 22.

MATT: That hits.

LAURA: Nice!

TRAVIS: 24. 24 points of damage.

MATT: 24 points of damage? Okay, nice. So you

start bludgeoning its watery form. Even though you

see the water splashing around, and it’s soaking

everything in the vicinity, you are still watching

as each blow forces the creature to kinda shift

and move, and you hear this (gurgling sound) kind

of dull thud sound, and a pained noise seems to

emit from

this elemental creature with each impact.

TRAVIS: You can do better than that.

MATT: Does that end your turn?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: All righty. That brings us to the rest of

the crew. So these guys– the water has now pushed

them past a bit. They are moved and they’re

starting to try and swim their way to the edge of

the ship, and they’re starting to actually– Let’s

see what their rolls are for their athletics.

Natural 20, nice. Okay, so they both make their

way up to the side of this side of the ship and

latch onto the edge, right beside Keyleth and

Taryon.

SAM: Oh, great.

MARISHA: Can I say something to him?

MATT: Yeah, as both (grunts) get out of the water,

they’re

pulling up right alongside you, pulling

blades out.

MARISHA: Hi! Kaitiyaki. Water Ashari?

MATT: You hear them just growl as they pull their

blades out, and continue.

MARISHA: Hm. Hm.

LIAM: Kick his ass.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we tried to talk.

MATT: So for this one, each of them are gonna make

two strikes

against each of you with their rapiers.

SAM: Oh, great.

MATT: Taryon, that is a 21?

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: And a 21.

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: I rolled the same number twice in a row.

So you take–

TRAVIS: What’s your AC there, big guy?

SAM: 15.

MATT: Nine points of piercing damage and five

points of piercing damage.

SAM: Sure.

MATT: As it just thrust–

SAM: Ow!

MATT: – holding onto the side of the ship’s

armor, thrusting the rapier into you, scraping

past your armor. One catches you in the hip.

SAM: Ugh.

TRAVIS: Ooh.

MATT: Keyleth, the other one’s gonna make two

strikes against you. That’s gonna be–

MARISHA: Cousins?

MATT: An eight?

MARISHA: No? Oh. Nope, that misses.

MATT: And a 27.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: And that’s gonna hit you for ten points of

piercing damage.

MARISHA: Okay. That’s– yeah.

MATT: And it looks like their ascent has stopped

and they’re just right now happy to just continue

to pierce these two stowaways that are gripping

onto the side of the ship. This one stumbles

across the rest of the chain. And turning and

seeing you guys there on the edge, Vax as you dart

around the side of Trinket, it’s gonna move,

avoid the bear, step across, and attempt to

attack you twice with the rapier, once with the

dagger.

LIAM: Sure.

MARISHA: Jeez Louise.

MATT: So the dagger’s gonna be 11?

LIAM: No.

MATT: Not very good.

LIAM: That’s a no.

MATT: However, that is a 26.

LIAM: That hits. Uncanny Dodge.

MATT: And a 19.

LIAM: No.

MATT: No. All right, so, they get one rapier

strike towards you. That is going to be nine

points of piercing damage.

LIAM: Halved.

MATT: As it just cuts across the center of your

armor in the midsection. It doesn’t actually get

the skin, but it’s enough of an impact where you

can feel a bruise coming.

LIAM: Tight.

MATT: All righty. Ending their turn, that brings

us to Keyleth.

MARISHA: Okay. Am I still on the side of the boat?

MATT: You are, yes.

MARISHA: I’m gonna climb up that boat.

MATT: Okay, make an athletics check.

MARISHA: Ooh, that’s good, 17 plus my athletics,

which is good, which is seven, so 24.

MATT: Okay, so you get up on the edge of the ship,

it does get one attack of opportunity against you

as you move up. It’s gonna slice at you with a

rapier. That is gonna be an 18.

MARISHA: Miss.

SAM: Whoa.

MATT: Nice.

MARISHA: No. Hit. Sorry.

MATT: Okay, there you go, that’s all good.

That is ten points piercing damage.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: As the rapier just catches you in the back,

and you’re like (groans), and you climb up and

get back onto the edge of the ship. As you glance

around, you can see that there is the weird

fish-looking guy in the center of the ship right now.

It’s currently bound by the vines around him.

MARISHA: Any sign that these could still be my

people? Pretty certain they’re not.

TRAVIS: I think you can let that go now.

MATT: You’re pretty sure there’s not much of a

tribal sign–

MARISHA: Nothing?

MATT: – that resembles anything Ashari-related

universally.

MARISHA: Guys, real pirates!

And then I’m going to do Control Water. And I’m

going to raise water 20 feet around me, and start

sinking this bitch. I want to sink this ship.

20 feet,

just tidal waves coming over the boat,

and I’m sinking it.

TRAVIS: Oh, shit.

MATT: Control Water, what level is this?

MARISHA: Fourth level.

LAURA: We could steal this ship. Okay.

TALIESIN: It might have stuff.

MARISHA: Nope. I’m sinking it.

MATT: Okay, as you get on the edge you begin to

pull your arms up, and as you do, you hands begin

to glow with a dull blue-turquoise color,

similar to the skin of this fish-like creature,

and it glances over at you, and its jaw opens.

You can see this burbling sound as the edges of

the water begin to rise up and splash and pour

into the ship, perpetually filling the lower,

usually air-filled section of this ship.

And it begins to immediately

(thud) list a little bit to one side.

MARISHA: Do I have any movement, or is that it?

Probably getting up is my movement.

MATT: That’s gonna be your action, and climbing up

is gonna be your movement.

So that’s kinda where you are.

MARISHA: Okay. Cool.

MATT: You can maintain concentration on it.

TALIESIN: We’re gonna want to break the chains.

MARISHA: I maintain concentration.

MATT: You get the sense, it’s gonna take a few

rounds, but if you keep at this, you’ll probably

have a good chance of achieving your goal.

MARISHA: Cool. It’s what I like to hear in life,

in general.

LAURA: You might bring our ship down with it,

Keyleth.

TRAVIS: If you keep at it, you might be able to

achieve your goal.

MARISHA: No, it’s localized.

LAURA: No, but, the chains attaching two ships.

MARISHA: Eh. We’ve got time.

TALIESIN: That’s the correct response.

LIAM: She says as she destroys everything.

TRAVIS: Yep, yeah, yep.

MARISHA: Destroy reality?

MATT: Ending Keyleth’s turn, it is now the crew’s

go. So the crew here is gonna turn the ballistas

around, as the captain leaps off down and goes

behind the guy who attacked you, Vax. She pulls

out a scimitar, rushes forward screaming,

“Yah!”

and just does a full downward arc into the back.

LAURA: Oh, shit.

LIAM: Adele Dazeem, ladies and gentlemen.

LAURA: Like Xena. (war cry)

MARISHA: Adele Dazeem.

LAURA: What does Xena do? (Xena fighting call)

MATT: That is 18. That hits.

TRAVIS: That’s it.

LIAM: Yeah, that’s it.

MATT: Second strike is a 23. Both hit.

LIAM: She also breaks hearts.

LAURA: Left and right.

LIAM: Left and right.

TALIESIN: Oh, man.

LIAM: You can relate.

TRAVIS: Disappointed!

MATT: That’s better. 24 points of slashing damage.

That ends her turn. These two guys are gonna fire

ballistas at the ship. (firing sound, splash)

TRAVIS: Yes! Yes!

MATT: One of them unfortunately just coasts off to

the edge and misses the ship.

TRAVIS: Damn it! He’s fired.

MATT: The other one is a natural 20.

TRAVIS: Boom!

LAURA: Damn!

MATT: Oof, that’s gonna be nasty. That, yeah,

okay.

TRAVIS: Wow.

MATT: That is 42 points of damage–

TRAVIS: Damn. From one of the ballistas?

MATT: – to the side of the ship. You watch as one

of these ballistas has a similar-looking, like,

giant iron arrow, but it’s designed to just split

and destroy wood on impact. It’s pierced,

but it seems to splinter out, so it hits,

and then breaks as it goes.

TRAVIS: Oh, shit.

MATT: And as it slams into the side of this ship,

just above where Taryon and the other guy

are. You watch as it (crashing sound) slams and

wood splinters and breaks. The impact shakes the

side. I’m actually gonna ask both you and that guy

to make a strength saving throw.

TRAVIS: Come on, buddy.

SAM: That’s sorta cocked, but that’s okay,

I’ll take it. That’s a five.

MATT: Okay, both of you guys–

SAM: Maybe I’ll use Luck, and go again.

MATT: Okay, go for it.

SAM: Ooh, yeah. Yeah, that’s ten.

MATT: Okay, that’s two. That’s enough to hold on.

The other guy did not make it. So you just hold

on from the impact, the other guy (screams) falls

back and splashes into–

SAM: You should’ve worn boat shoes!

(all laugh)

MATT: Perfect.

LAURA: I like to picture you in full armor with

boat shoes on.

MARISHA: Boat shoes on!

MATT: As you hold on, you watch as the ballista,

which has a chain attached to the back of it as

well, is now being ratcheted back. And as it slams

through and is pulled back, it’s tearing sections

of the ship apart. And you can watch now,

as it’s

pulling down and breaking a whole section.

SAM: Jesus.

MATT: That’s gonna go ahead and end this

crewman’s turn. This guy is gonna go ahead–

crossbow and try to line it up, towards– I can

only see the guy below, with disadvantage.

Oh, it’s a shame, it’s a natural 20. And a 19,

actually. Still manages to hit, even with the

disadvantage from the fog cloud. Okay, that’s

eight damage to that guy. All righty. And then

this guy over here is gonna move to the water

elemental and take a strike on it and misses.

(whoosh) It goes and strikes, but the water

elemental shifts out of the way, the blade moves

past, without an impact. End of the round,

we have Taryon.

SAM: Yeah!

MARISHA: Taryon!

SAM: Yeah! So, the guy right next to me is gone,

right?

MATT: Yeah, he’s splashed back. Both of these guys

are in the water, back ten feet.

SAM: Oh, they’re gone. Okay.

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: Okay, Can I see? No. I’m gonna climb up.

MATT: Okay, athletics check.

SAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: Watch this go bad.

SAM: No, no. It’s okay. 16?

MATT: Yeah, that could climb up and get onto the

edge of the ship, right next to Keyleth,

who’s currently concentrating. You see her eyes

kinda glowing, and her hands glowing with this

faint aqua-look as the water is now, immediately

to the right of her, curling up and splashing over

the bow of the ship, and just pouring into the

ship below.

SAM: So cool. So cool. Okay, I just yell back to

Doty, Get rid of the grappling hooks!

I don’t know, I have no idea what I’m doing.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: And then I see that the giant thing in front

of me, right? Do I see the thing?

MATT: You do see it, yeah. It’s currently bound by

the series of thorny vines.

SAM: Great. I’ll reach into my magic bag,

and

pull out a vial of acid and just throw it at the

thing.

MATT: Okay. Go ahead and roll an attack.

It is restrained,

so you have advantage on the

ranged attack roll.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

SAM: What do I add?

MATT: Add your– it should say under the class.

SAM: My spell attack bonus?

MATT: It should say under the class’s ability.

SAM: It says–

MATT: What’s your bonus next to it on your sheet?

Under your attacks.

SAM: Oh! Oh, it says–

MATT: It should be there.

SAM: No, it doesn’t.

MATT: Doesn’t? Ah, damn it.

SAM: Oh, wait, no, it says it. But it’s cut off.

It says, “DC one”. I’m sure there’s something

after that, but are you talking about just to hit

it?

MATT: Right. It’s their saving throw. It’s your

spell DC to get past it; I think is what it is.

It’s not an actual ranged–

SAM: Okay, so then it’s 17.

MATT: 17? Okay, good to know. Which, he has

disadvantage on it, which he rolled a one in the

first one, so no.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

MATT: So go ahead and roll full damage.

SAM: Great, so that’s 7d6.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Okay.

MARISHA: LED six!

LAURA: They’re really pretty.

TALIESIN: They’re really fun. Yeah, I like it.

I know.

MARISHA: LED. Six.

SAM: 26.

MATT: 26 points of acid damage.

TRAVIS: Wow.

LAURA: Nice.

TALIESIN: That’s good.

MATT: All righty.

TRAVIS: Does he let out a fishy scream?

MATT: You watch as you lob your vial, it

(shattering sound)

burst across the creature’s chest–

TALIESIN: (gurgling)

MATT: –and the acid (burning sound) begins to

burn, burning

part of the vines that currently

keep it restrained, but–

SAM: Oh, shit! Sorry, sorry! I don’t know how this

stuff works!

MATT: But it does burn. You see it (gurgling

grunts) trying desperately to break free,

as you see the smoke of its burning flesh rise

up off its body (sizzling sound).

SAM: Okay.

MATT: End your turn, Taryon?

SAM: I have a bonus action. I’ll use Sanctuary.

On myself.

MATT: Okay. There you go. And with that,

Doty’s gonna go ahead and reach down and try and

grab– nope. Not with a four.

As you see, (creaking noise) you hear the

metal kind of creaking,

but not getting any sort of actual–

MARISHA: Aw.

TALIESIN: Knees, not back.

MATT: I know.

TRAVIS: Lift with your knees.

TALIESIN: God, robot!

MATT: All right, ending that round, that brings us

to the top. The rushing waters: the ships continue

to move forward; both of these guys shift

backward.

LIAM: Bye!

MATT: They’re being left behind by the boats.

TALIESIN: Good!

MATT: They’re trying to swim forward. That brings

us to Marid. Okay.

TALIESIN: I’ve been waiting for this so for pretty

much a few months.

MATT: So this guy is currently up in the side.

And he’s looking around, he’s gonna make a quick

perception check, just to look around. He got shot

by you. He got shot by you. He’s gonna go ahead

and glance up in your direction. He’s gonna go

ahead and use a Water Jet ability against you.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: Actually, let’s see here–

TRAVIS: Water Jet.

LAURA: (explosion sound)

MATT: You know what, now? No, he’s not.

TRAVIS: He’s not?

MATT: He is, but he’s gonna use a Water Jet–

LAURA: Is he not grappled anymore?

MATT: He’s still grappled. He’s restrained,

but he can still do abilities.

LAURA: Oh, shit.

TALIESIN: We’re fine.

MATT: 60, fine. Yeah, you’re up there, but it sees

the cluster in that direction. That’s his own guy.

He won’t do that.

TRAVIS: He wouldn’t?

LAURA: Ooh, honorable.

MATT: Hold on, I’m trying to see what’s the most

useful–

SAM: Maybe they’re family.

LAURA: Maybe they are.

MATT: He can’t move. He can’t angle it. It’s

really frustrating for him.

LIAM: For him, right? For him? It’s frustrating

for him.

MATT: Yeah, for him.

TRAVIS: It really frustrates him.

MATT: And for that, he’s gonna aim for Trinket and

Vax.

LAURA: What is he doing, what?

MATT: Aiming for Trinket and Vax.

LAURA: (gasps)

MATT: So, all of a sudden, it turns its head this

way, opens its mouth (hoarse gasp) and you watch

as this small spiral of greenish energy begins to

swirl. And a singular burst of extremely

accelerated water just (hard impact sound) fires

through the fog out of sight. You hear this

(whoosh) sound, and you turn just in time to watch

as it blasts towards both you and Trinket.

I need you to make a dexterity saving throw,

and Trinket as well.

LIAM: Vax or Vex?

MATT: Vax.

LIAM: Vax. Yeah, you’re fine.

LAURA: Yeah, I’m fine.

LIAM: Oh, you’re doing Trinket, right.

LAURA: Whoa! Trinket rolled so good!

LIAM: 17.

MATT: 17?

LAURA: Hold on, hold on, holda.

SAM: Hoda, hoda, hoda, hoda.

LAURA: Hoda, hoda, hoda, hoda. 20!

MATT: All righty. So Trinket manages to (whoosh)

duck down, taking half the damage.

LAURA: He was very zen about that duck down.

TRAVIS: (Trinket groans)

LAURA: Matrix style, he’s diving in. No.

MATT: So 15 points of bludgeoning damage to

Trinket. 30 to you, Vax.

LIAM: But halved, 'cause if I fail, it’s halved.

If I succeed, it’s zero.

It’s a dexterity so it’s Evasion.

MATT: Yeah. Evasion–

LIAM: Evasion is for dex saves. If I fail,

I take half damage,

and if I succeed I take no damage.

SAM: Ooh! That’s sexy.

MATT: Right.

LIAM: It’s how I survive dragon fights.

MATT: Yes, yes.

TRAVIS: (singing) How I survive dragon fights.

SAM: Guys, we’re having a water battle.

LAURA: You guys!

TALIESIN: I’ve been waiting for this for so long.

LAURA: Well, we’re having a pirate battle.

TRAVIS: Super soaker!

SAM/TALIESIN: Super soakers!

TRAVIS: Super soaker 250, super soaker 500,

super soaker 1000. You remember those?

TALIESIN: Oh yeah.

SAM: Yeah. I didn’t know they had gauges.

TALIESIN: Oh, yeah.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: So you take 15 points of bludgeoning damage.

However,

you are pushed 20 feet away and knocked prone.

SAM: Ooh. Ooh.

LAURA: Oh, no.

SAM: Off the ship?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: (whoosh) Off the edge of the ship.

SAM: Oh! No!

LAURA: (gasps) Bro!

MATT: He (splash) into the water below. (splash)

It’s with such force, that you aren’t even given a

chance to grab at the ship. You’re thrust off at

an arc.

LIAM: Mm-hm.

MATT: And (splash) into the water. (splash) into

the ocean–

LAURA: Gosh, thank god Trinket ducked.

MATT: – soaking you down into the wave.

The elemental creature swirls up and occupies

both the space of Grog and Trinket, and is going

to go ahead and turn it into a whelm. So it’s

going to uh, attempt to whelm both of you,

and

I need you and Trinket to make strength

saving throws.

TRAVIS: Strength saving throws. I have advantage

because I’m raging. 26.

LAURA: 18.

MATT: All righty. You guys, both pushed out of its

space. So it forces you out. However, you both

manage to escape any sort of damage as its giant

spiral, this whirlwind of water spins around and

you both barely force your way out of it before it

can do any serious damage to you.

LAURA: Bearly.

MATT: All right, that leads us to Vax’s turn.

LIAM: Okay, so in the water, click the boots,

and the wings shoot-out, and I explode up,

out of the water into the air.

SAM: Wow, so cool.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: And I just start gunning it towards the guy

who knocked me in, right?

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: And when I’m about, I don’t know, 30 feet

away from him, I’m gonna– because I’m hasted I

get 120 feet of movement just for regular

movement.

MATT: Yes.

LIAM: And when I’m within 40 feet, I’m gonna throw

Whisper at the guy.

MATT: Okay, that will put you about there.

LIAM: Yep.

TRAVIS: Hit him. Hit him!

LIAM: That’s 26?

MATT: 26? All righty, that hits.

LIAM: And I’m gonna bamf right up to him as I

hit.

MATT: (poof)

LIAM: That is just a little ten, plus– 15.

MATT: 15 points of damage with that strike. Okay.

LIAM: And I should have one more. So I used bonus

action for the wings, I did movement, I did

action, so I’ve got one more action.

MATT: Your offhand attack, yeah.

LIAM: Yeah. So I will shank him again.

TRAVIS: Shank shank!

LAURA: Shank shank!

SAM: Is that a new thing? Shank shank?

MATT: You have advantage on these strikes now.

Because you’re right up against him, and he is

restrained.

LIAM: 20.

MATT: 20 hits. And you do get your Sneak Attack,

because of your advantage on him.

TRAVIS: No more dagger dagger dagger.

SAM: Just shank shank?

LAURA: It’s just two. It’s shank shank.

SAM: Okay.

LIAM: That is just a nine! And I’ll unload some

poison into him as well. The DC is 15.

MARISHA: I feel like 'shank shank’ is less

attractive on a t-shirt.

MATT: That is a nine. He does not succeed!

LIAM: Okay, so he takes 2d10. Do I roll that,

or do you, Matty?

MATT: You roll that.

LIAM: All right.

MATT: So what’s the damage initially?

LIAM: It’s nine. Plus 13 poison damage.

MATT: Okay, so 22. Are you gonna roll Sneak Attack

damage?

LIAM: Why would I get that here? Is he up against

anybody?

MATT: No, you have advantage on him because he is

restrained.

LIAM: Oh, advantage, yay, I love you.

MATT: And he is not immune to poison.

LIAM: 20 Sneak Attack damage. Thanks, Matt.

MATT: How much is that total?

LIAM: 20 for the sneak attack.

MATT: 20 for the sneak attack. 20 plus 22.

LAURA: You’re attacking the guy?

MATT: We’ll see if he maintains concentration.

LAURA: How’d you get all the way over there?

MATT: He does not. So. Let me double-check one

thing real fast, here,

because this will be interesting.

LIAM: Shank-shank-shank. Shank-shank-shank.

LIAM/TALIESIN/LAURA/MARISHA: (singing) Shank your

booty. Shank your booty.

MATT: Okay, got you. So he loses concentration.

He is now poisoned and restrained. He has to make

a saving throw, actually, to see– which he did

not. So yeah, still restrained.

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: Whoof. That sucks. Okay, that ends Vax’s

turn. Vex, you’re up.

LAURA: Awesome.

LIAM: Get him!

LAURA: Cool, then since he’s got my brother next

to him, I’m gonna fly down so I can see him

better, and shoot him two times with my blazing

bowstring on the first one.

LIAM: She shouts as she flies through the air.

LAURA: Blazing bowstring! Activate!

MARISHA: (electric guitar sounds)

LAURA: Do I still get disadvantage?

MATT: You do, the fog is still present.

LAURA: Okay. 28.

MATT: 28 hits. Second attack?

LAURA: Second attack is just– can I do regular?

MATT: Yes, that’s fine.

LAURA: 18.

MATT: Hits. Go ahead and roll damage for both.

LAURA: 12 with three points of lightning damage.

TRAVIS: Did you add your Hunter’s Mark?

LAURA: I’m about to. 13 additional. And then ten

with the blazing bowstring–

nine more with the blazing bowstring.

MATT: Nice, all right.

LAURA: And then my second attack–

MATT: Correct.

LAURA: 11 plus three lightning.

MATT: All righty.

LAURA: I don’t get Sneak Attack again, but I do

get Hunter’s Mark.

MATT: You do get Hunter’s Mark, yes.

LAURA: And three more for Hunter’s Mark.

MATT: Nice. So, after he’s stabbed in the side,

and the poison pulses through his system,

turns around, and as the arrow slams into him,

burst of flame

and lightning arcs through his body.

LAURA: And I’m gonna fly back a little so he can

see me less. And then I’m going to have Trinket,

for my bonus action–

MARISHA: (gasps)

LAURA: – run forward and attack the guy on the

edge of the ship.

LIAM: Is it a leap year?

MARISHA: This hasn’t happened in like 20 games.

LAURA: I know, I know.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

MATT: Is Trinket doing just a regular

attack?

LAURA: Yeah, because it’s my bonus, so he can just

do one attack.

MATT: Because if you wanted to, instead of going

for a damaging attack, you can go for a shove.

LAURA: Oh, I could? I didn’t think I was allowed

to do that.

MATT: Yeah, you can do it, you can sacrifice an

attack for a shove strike. It doesn’t do damage.

LAURA: I want him to do that. That’s what I wanted

him to do.

MATT: I was wondering if that’s what you were

going for.

Okay, so go ahead and roll an athletics

check for Trinket.

LAURA: Athletics… is that strength? That’s just

five.

MATT: Five? Okay, yeah, so Trinket goes up and

slams into the guy, and he gets pushed against the

side of the ship, but not with enough force to

shove him over the edge,

and he (grunt) catches himself.

LAURA: So Trinket just stands up, he’s got his

paws on his chest.

MATT: Just pressing (growls) on there, yeah.

LAURA: Growls loudly into his face.

LIAM: (growls)

MATT: All right, that ends your turn. Percy,

you’re up.

LAURA: I mean, that’s scary, a big bear.

Especially if these guys are on the sea.

They don’t see bears very often.

TALIESIN: All right. That guy’s still in the

vines, right?

MATT: Correct, yes.

TALIESIN: He’s becoming a problem, though.

Okay, I’m going to, if I can pull this off,

is it possible that I can break the rope that I’m

currently holding onto and do a little Errol Flynn

like fly down to the bottom of the boat?

MATT: You can do that, yeah.

TALIESIN: Is it possible that the rope I have to

shoot is in between me and him?

MATT: Uh… sure.

MARISHA: You going to kill two birds with one

stone?

TALIESIN: I’m going to use a piercing shot,

and I’m going to try to do both with one shot and

Errol Flynn this shit.

TRAVIS: Oh shit! Oh shit!

MATT: Okay. Make an acrobatics check as part of

this.

MARISHA: Errol Flynn this shit, is that what you

said?

MATT: This is specifically the kind of shit

acrobatics is for.

TRAVIS: Totally. 100%. Swashbuckling.

TALIESIN: Acrobatics… that’s a 23.

MATT: Yeah, go ahead and take it– still at

disadvantage.

TALIESIN: Still at disadvantage.

MATT: Because of the fog.

MARISHA: Oh man, now you’re in an Angelina Jolie

movie.

TALIESIN: Nope.

MATT: Nope?

TALIESIN: So this is gonna be funny, because I was

using the Animus.

MATT: Yes.

TALIESIN: So depending on how mean you wanna be

here, I’m gonna take my 2d6.

MATT: Oh, you misfire?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: So this is gonna be funny. I’m gonna

take my 2d6, and that’s six points of psychic

damage to me, that’s cool, that’s cool.

MARISHA: What if one day you died because of

that?

MATT: Okay, so you use your piercing shot to shoot

both at him and to shoot the– or to shoot the

rope and then swing down?

TALIESIN: Yes. So does the psychic damage mean I

let go of the rope I’m holding on to? Or does it

not? Also, my feet are sticky and my hand has–

MATT: Your feet are sticky, but your hands are

not.

TALIESIN: But my hands are not.

MATT: It’s the blast of psychic energy. You know

what?

I’ll say go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw.

TALIESIN: Okay, I’m down for this.

MATT: Yes, make a wisdom saving throw to see if

you can withstand the blast to your brain as your

vision goes white.

TALIESIN: So that’s an eight.

LIAM: Goes in the drink.

MATT: Nope.

TALIESIN: Here’s the next question: do I have any

chance of grabbing anything

with my hands and feet on the way down?

MATT: Unfortunately, no. What happens is,

as you grab the rope and you fire– as you slash

the rope and go to swing down, you go to fire,

and as you do, it backs up, and your vision just

goes white and you feel your whole body go

instantaneously numb. You’re not sure if you’re

even holding the rope anymore. All of your–

TALIESIN: So I’m just gonna wake up on the deck of

the floor of the boat.

MATT: – and the pain sears in your brain,

you hear the (heartbeat) the pulse of pain

through, and as your vision comes to, it

clarifies, and color comes back just in time for

you to see the surface of the ship rocketing

towards your face. (impact sound) And you slam

into the ground, straight across, landing prone at

the base of the ground

in front of the fish creature.

LAURA: Oh, no!

TRAVIS: It was so cool!

LAURA: That one was seriously bad.

SAM: Can I yell out, No! New best friend!

MATT: You can. You take 12 points of bludgeoning

damage from the fall.

TALIESIN: 12 points of bludgeoning damage.

And can I burn a bonus action, am I okay, or–

MATT: You could use– I mean, that was your

action, you land, yeah. You’re still prone,

but you can still use the rest of your attacks if

you want.

MARISHA: I’m sorry, your best friend?

TALIESIN: I can use the rest of my actions?

MATT: I mean, that was an attack. The piercing

shot. So you still have your two other attacks,

if you wanted to use them.

TALIESIN: Just because it hurts and I’m irritated,

I’m just gonna pull out Retort

and fire in the general direction.

MATT: Okay, so two more strikes, both at

disadvantage.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

SAM: (gunshot sounds)

TALIESIN: Oh, that’s not bad.

MARISHA: What the fuck?

TALIESIN: 28?

MATT: 28 hits.

MARISHA: That’s not as good.

TALIESIN: 16.

MATT: 16 does not hit.

TALIESIN: Okay, so the 28 one does, though.

That’s seven points of damage.

MATT: Seven points of damage. Got it. Okay.

So as you roll over on your back and pull out

Retort and just fire two shots, one just goes off

into the fog. You see it tear through the ship

mast for a second, some wood splinters, the other

one, you hear the creature take the impact from

the blow. You’re not even really paying attention

where it’s going, you’re just hearing the sound

and shooting in that direction. All right,

that’ll end your turn, Percy?

TALIESIN: Oh yeah.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: What a turn. What a terrible way to go.

MATT: Grog, you’re up.

TRAVIS: I wanna keep hitting the water elemental.

MATT: All right. So, you turn towards it over

there. Go for it.

TRAVIS: Reckless attacks, please.

MATT: Yes.

TRAVIS: First one’s a 30.

MATT: That’ll hit.

TRAVIS: 21 points of damage.

MATT: All righty.

TRAVIS: Second attack. It’s very methodical. 26.

MATT: All righty.

TRAVIS: Does that hit?

MATT: Yes.

TRAVIS: And 17 points of damage.

MATT: 17 points of damage, all right. So you rush

in and slam twice in this elemental again.

You see its form with each hit is just

splattering water against the ground, and where

once it came up as this solid force of water,

it’s starting to have difficulty keeping its form

together. Where once it was focused genuinely on

you and Trinket, it seems to be lashing out now in

a frenzied state, it’s just punching all around.

Does that finish your turn?

TRAVIS: Am I not good enough to hold your

attention? Yeah, that finishes my turn.

MATT: Okay. Got you. All right. This guy here’s

gonna squeeze past the side.

LAURA: Trinket attacks him on the way over.

MATT: He hasn’t moved away from Trinket yet.

LAURA: Damn it.

MATT: Actually, no, he’s gonna squeeze this way

instead because Grog’s on that side. He’s gonna go

ahead and move past the bear and let Trinket push

his weight into the side of the ship, and is going

to go ahead and take three strikes at you, Grog.

TRAVIS: Yay!

MATT: With advantage.

TRAVIS: Another play-friend.

MATT: That’s gonna be two strikes against you and

one against Trinket.

First one with advantage is gonna be a 24.

TRAVIS: Hits!

MATT: Dagger is gonna be a 15.

TRAVIS: Misses. With advantage too?

MATT: Yeah, his first attack roll was a one.

All right, so you take ten points of piercing

damage, reduced to five.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: And then the other rapier attack’s gonna go

against Trinket. Which is a natural one. Jesus.

TRAVIS: Wow.

MATT: So he just swings and Trinket catches the

blade in his teeth, and he draws the rapier back,

which is now covered in bear slobber.

TRAVIS: This is not the time to choke, buddy.

MATT: That ends his turn. This guy here is gonna

go ahead and turn to face off with Captain Adella.

He’s gonna make three strikes against her.

MARISHA: C'mon, Adele Dazeem.

MATT: That’s gonna hit. First rapier strike,

second rapier strike, and the dagger,

all three hit, unfortunately.

LAURA: We’re all such dicks.

TRAVIS: You guys are awful.

MARISHA: We’ve got these shitty nicknames for

everyone.

MATT: 14, and, okay. Total of 21 points of damage

on her.

TRAVIS: 21 points.

MATT: So as she tries to parry to the side,

the pirate just catches her off-guard and gets

three good hits in, but Adella parries off to the

side, gets pushed back a bit, and then forces her

way forward, preparing her counter-attack.

TRAVIS: Come on!

MATT: That brings us to–

TRAVIS: We should probably protect the captain.

MATT: – Keyleth.

SAM: Okay.

MARISHA: Oh, shit. We’re still attached to this

boat, right?

SAM: Multiple times.

MATT: Currently, yes. If you’re still

concentrating on this,

the water’s still pouring into it.

MARISHA: I am. How much slack do we have before I

start pulling our boat underwater, because I don’t

want to be that– kinda thought someone would

start–

MATT: It depends, right now it’ll be probably two

rounds before it begins to genuinely start sinking

heavily. Depending on if the ballista get another

shot at the side or not.

MARISHA: I wanna keep doing this. Can I

concentrate my flooding of water so– there’s now

a hole in the side of the ship, under where Tary

was, right? I had to think not to say Scanlan.

MATT: Correct.

MARISHA: I wanna flood in more water. Can I flood

it more on this side, to where I try and– or can

I do something fancy, like a giant hand of the

gods from the wave come up and–

TALIESIN: Kind of like Fantasia?

MARISHA: – take the fish-head guy?

TRAVIS: What the shit?

MARISHA: Or can I at least try and flood that side

to where I can try and toss him over?

MATT: You can either choose to continue to flood

the ship, or use Control Water to attack the fish

character. One or the other.

TRAVIS: Don’t look at us, man.

MARISHA: Let me see if I can Control Water and

take a wave to toss him overboard.

MATT: Toss him overboard?

LAURA: He’s a fish! That’ll help him.

MARISHA: He is a fish.

MATT: He is very plainly a fish-based creature.

MARISHA: He is very definitely a fish.

MATT: The lower half of his body is a swirl of

water.

MARISHA: Oh, right.

TRAVIS: So put him in the water.

LAURA: I don’t think putting him in the water’s

gonna help us very much.

TRAVIS: Water and water makes–

MARISHA: You know, I’ll just keep sinking this

ship.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I’m gonna keep concentrating.

LAURA: You could get rid of the fog.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I can’t do that right now.

MATT: The torrent of water continues to shove down

into the ship. You’ve redirected it. As it’s

pouring into the side, you use your other hand to

pick up another portion of water and start

spraying it into the wound that was left right

above, Taryon, you’re getting sprayed by water

overhead as it’s just traveling over you like an

Epcot Center water fountain.

MARISHA: You’re good, right, Tary?

SAM: Yes?

MARISHA: All right.

SAM: This is so weird!

MARISHA: Good! This is like a Tuesday for us.

MATT: All right, so the crew on this side,

this guy’s gonna go ahead and move up higher up

there and take a swing. Misses, unfortunately.

This guy’s gonna take another crossbow shot down

at the one that’s attacking the captain.

That will hit, actually.

TRAVIS: Yes! Get him!

LAURA: Get him!

MATT: All righty. And then these two guys are

gonna take two more ballista shots as they load

up, pull it back. This guy continues– actually,

this guy doesn’t get a shot, because he spent

the last round winching and pulling it back,

so he gets one shot retracting. This guy managed

to pull it back and take a secondary shot at the

ship. That hits. It’s not a critical, but it’s

still pretty decent. That is 14 points of damage

on the side of the ship. This one slams into it

maybe about five feet to the left. Keyleth,

actually all of you who are on the ship,

you feel the impact as the second blow hits,

and it pulls out the side, this time much lower,

and water is now really pushing, the ship is

slowly starting to capsize to one side.

That ends that group’s turn.

SAM: I’ve read about this. Many of us will die.

(all laugh)

MATT: Tary, it’s your turn.

SAM: My turn?

MATT: Yes.

SAM: Okay. Is there water all over the deck,

is it hard to move, is it okay?

MATT: I mean, it’s wet, and the deck is currently

listing to one side.

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: Is it listing towards Keyleth and–

MATT: It’s listing this way.

TRAVIS: Boat shoes!

SAM: Yeah, those are like impervious to water.

(all laugh)

SAM: Okay. Once again, I’ll yell back at Doty and

just say,

Ahh! The thing with the grappling hooks again!

MATT: Doty actually does succeed this turn.

(all cheer)

MATT: Doty lifts it out, and now that it’s

starting to pull, the chains are very taut,

as this ship lists, the ship’s being pulled a

little ways towards it, the chains are strained,

so as soon as Doty pulls it up, it just goes

firing off the side and plunges off the water to

the other side. The ship’s now beginning to slowly

turn this way as the other chain is now tugging it

from that direction, and this is now listing to

that side. So, what are you doing, Tary?

SAM: Yeah, I’m going to cast Haste as my action.

And I get a second action, now,

because I’m hasted, right?

MATT: You get to use a second action that’s a

melee attack.

SAM: It has to be a melee attack?

MATT: Melee attack, disengage, hide…

SAM: Can I use– it said I could use a magic

item.

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: Or use an item, use an item.

MATT: Yeah, use an object.

SAM: Oh, use an object, not an item. I can’t use

my ring or anything, right?

MATT: I’ll say, for the purposes of this? Sure.

Why not?

SAM: Okay, so I’m hasted, I will use, I pick up

the Ring of the Ram, and I’ll ram the fish-man.

TRAVIS: Oh, yes!

LAURA: Oh, nice!

MATT: Okay. How many charges does it have?

TRAVIS: Ring of the Ram, that’s been a while.

SAM: Three charges, right? So I can use two?

MATT: You can use as many charges as you want that

the ring holds.

It should tell you up to a certain amount–

SAM: It has three charges.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Well, it says I can use an action to expend

one to three of its charges.

Okay. I’ll do all three, right?

(all laugh)

MATT: All right. So, it is still restrained,

so go ahead and roll with advantage

an attack roll plus seven.

SAM: Ooh. 19.

MATT: With advantage?

SAM: Oh. Natural 20.

(all cheer)

MATT: Oh, shit. Well. Okay. Roll 6d10 force

damage.

TRAVIS: Holy shit. 6d10?

TALIESIN: How many do you need?

MATT: Well, then we double what he rolled,

because it’s a critical.

MARISHA: Six, you need six?

TRAVIS: And that’s force damage.

SAM: Okay. 35. 70.

MATT: 70 points of force damage against the

creature. So as you focus on your ring, there’s a

burst of divine white-looking energy that turns

into this giant plate-like shield in front of you,

and it just stays there. You’re like, huh? And

suddenly it thrusts forward, and out the front of

it, like a portal, a giant spectral ram-head just

slams into the chest, throwing it off the ship,

as it screams, it just turns into sea foam.

(all cheer)

TRAVIS: You killed it!

MATT: It’s scattered into the ocean across from

you. It is destroyed.

SAM: Can it be like a kid who’s holding a rifle,

but not up to him, so it hits him and it really

throws me back a little?

MATT: Which, yeah, sure. Roll a dexterity saving

throw.

SAM: Five.

MATT: Off the ship, into the water.

SAM: Yes!

MATT: Splash! Into the water.

TRAVIS: Back in the drink again!

MARISHA: Are there still bad guys left?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: There are. There’s two over here, and

there’s two currently in the water below.

Ending your turn–

MARISHA: But nothing left on the ship, right?

LAURA: That we see?

MARISHA: That we see?

MATT: Correct. These guys are trying to swim

forward. That was cocked. Nope. These guys,

at the top of the round, get pushed back.

MARISHA: Bye!

MATT: Taryon–

SAM: I lost Alter Self when I hasted.

MATT: Yeah, so you’re just generally swimming,

but you also float back in the ocean. You’re now

caught in the water behind, so the ship carries on

without you.

TALIESIN: And that was the last anyone saw of

Taryon Darrington.

(all laugh)

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: He got his $50,000 worth.

MATT: The water elemental’s going to go ahead and

take two slam attacks.

SAM: You there! Hello.

MATT: It’s taking a slam attack against Grog,

it’s taking a slam attack against the pirate.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

MATT: So against Grog, it has advantage on you

because you used reckless.

TRAVIS: Yep.

MATT: That is a 23.

TRAVIS: Hits.

MATT: 16 points of bludgeoning damage, reduced to

eight.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: And against the pirate, that hits.

And the elemental reaches around, and as it

punches Grog in the face, it slams the other

pirate in the head, its fist engulfing his head,

and he just kind of stands there, trying to find

a way out, and it just drowns him while it’s

standing, and it drops the body to the ground.

LAURA: Oh, fuck.

TRAVIS: Oh, it killed him?

MATT: Yeah, it lashed out.

LAURA: One of our guys?

MATT: Did enough damage– no, one of the pirates.

LAURA: Oh, shit. He is untameable.

MATT: Vax, you’re up.

LIAM: You know when you look at a cat that’s

alarmed because it’s nervous and all the hair is

puffed out? Vax’s feathers are all going like

pffft, watching Keyleth wreck the boat, I could

fucking watch you do this all day. Up into the

air, and I go and get Tary out of the water.

SAM: Aw!

MATT: You go grab Tary.

LIAM: And I’m gonna pick him up and dump him back

on our boat, towards the back of the ship.

MATT: Okay, carrying him, we’ll say you’re at half

speed,

so that gets you just to the edge of the ship.

LIAM: Cool. I’m good. Wait, no, do I have an

action left? Can I use Divine Sense right now?

MATT: As you’re hasted, you have the haste

action…

LIAM: Yeah, I am hasted.

MATT: I’ll say you can use Divine Sense, sure.

LIAM: Okay. I pat him down and go, we’re good,

we’re good,

and I’m just gonna make sure he’s not a demon.

MATT: Oh. Taryon.

LIAM: Yes.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: A demon? What?

LAURA: Why a demon?

MARISHA: What? Why would you think he’s a demon?

SAM: Guys, the conclusion of the epic series

Shades of Magic, A Conjuring of Light, was just

released, so go pick it up. It’s put out by Tor

books, a leading publisher of science fiction and

fantasy for over three decades.

MATT: Okay. That ends Vax’s turn. Vex, you’re up.

LAURA: Okay. I’ll fly over to Percy, who’s on the

fucking ground.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: And I say, are you good?

TALIESIN: It was worth it. Good.

LAURA: Lovely. Get off this boat. And I’ll fly

over

and try to help out the fight on the other side.

MATT: Okay. We’ll say that’s 20… 40…

yeah, you can get over here.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: You’d still be just above the fray.

LAURA: And then I’ll shoot some arrows at–

MATT: There’s one guy left, and the elemental.

LAURA: I’ll shoot 'em at the guy.

MATT: Okay, go ahead for two strikes on that.

LAURA: Yeah. Oh, disadvantage, too?

MATT: The fog is still around, so yes.

LAURA: Oh, damn it. Okay.

TRAVIS: Oh, one of them was a–

LAURA: Yeah, but. 20 on the first one, and 15 plus

seven on the second one. 22.

MATT: Both hit. Roll damage.

LAURA: Awesome.

MARISHA: You have a d3?

SAM: I need a d3.

TALIESIN: It’s a d6.

MARISHA: It’s a d6 cut in half.

SAM: Wait, two, four, six or something? Okay.

LAURA: Oh, Jesus, this is terrible, this is

terrible.

TALIESIN: There is actually a d3 that has two

ones, two twos, and two threes.

LAURA: 17. Plus three lightning damage. And

then… 16 plus two lightning damage. And then for

my bonus action, Trinket’s gonna– and it was

Sneak Attack,

because there’s something next to him, huh?

MATT: Correct.

LAURA: (cackles) Five for sneak attack!

MATT: All righty.

LAURA: And then Trinket will attack him too.

MATT: Roll an attack for Trinket.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: (bear noises)

LAURA: Yes. That is– what is that, a bite

attack?

MATT: Whichever one you decide.

LAURA: Sure, it’s a bite attack. A 24.

MATT: That hits. Roll damage.

LAURA: It’s 11.

MATT: 11. As both arrows staple, one into the

guy’s knee, he falls down to the ground on one

knee. The other one hits him in the side of the

body, and he looks up

just as Trinket chomps down over his head.

(all cheer)

MATT: And just crunches down. You watch as his

skull collapses with the force of the bear’s jaw,

and the arms just go limp at the sides.

(all cheer)

MATT: Trinket then shakes him a bit, and his limp

body just goes whoompf, whoompf, just slamming and

breaking into the side of the ship, and then drops

it on the ground,

and Trinket turns around and

looks in your direction.

LAURA: Good job, boy!

LIAM: That made us all so happy.

LAURA: Yeah, it’s great.

MARISHA: See a guy get thrashed.

LAURA: I wish Scanlan could’ve been here to see

that.

MATT: All righty.

SAM: 87 episodes. One kill.

LAURA: He’s had more than one.

MATT: Two of the guys are trying to swim,

but they’re not able to keep up. You just watch

them slowly vanish behind you in the fog.

All right, Percy?

TALIESIN: The water elemental’s still a problem,

I take it?

MATT: You can see it still lashing out, yes.

TRAVIS: And there’s one hook left.

TALIESIN: I’m going to stand up, dust myself off,

pull out Bad News, take careful aim– slightly

irritated aim at that water elemental, and see

what happens.

MATT: Go for it. Disadvantage on the shot.

TALIESIN: Disadvantage on the shot.

TRAVIS: Has the fog not dissipated because

fish-head got done with?

LAURA: No.

TALIESIN: Not yet. I’m actually going to spend a

grit to gain my advantage back.

MATT: Okay. Go for it.

TALIESIN: Come on. Thank god I didn’t do that too

weird. That’s 20.

MATT: 20 hits.

TALIESIN: I’m also gonna blow through most of

Cabal’s Ruin, 'cause that’s funny. I know,

I say that a lot. So that’s standard damage,

is 15 points of damage, plus where is–

MARISHA: 1d4 plus four… 1d6 lightning damage per

charge expended.

TALIESIN: Okay, 1d6 per charge. You know? Let’s

end this. Should we just end this?

MARISHA: That’s good. Lightning’s bad for water.

Not that I’d know.

TALIESIN: I figured it would be. I’m just gonna

blow eight of the charges,

so do you have five more–

MARISHA: Yeah, I do. Five more, of course.

Dream come true, make it happen.

LAURA: If this doesn’t end it…

TALIESIN: So plus (counting) 23 points of

lightning damage on top of that.

MATT: Okay, so as you bring Bad News down and aim

across the way, fire the bullet, it blasts across,

and you guys see this glow of electrical energy

that just shoots through the air, the bullet

enhanced by the Cabal’s Ruin vestige enchantment.

As it blasts into the side of the elemental,

the elemental gets blown back through the air,

and as it does, it just vaporizes.

(all cheer)

MARISHA: Is that everyone done?

MATT: All the enemies currently seem to be not on

the ship, or dragging behind.

However, (creaking noise)

TALIESIN: I’m going to stop, I’m going to wave,

and I’m going to go walk over and start looking

to see if I can see what that glow is. I’m going

to deactivate this,

because I want to loot this ship.

MATT: Okay. Make a perception check.

TALIESIN: Ooh, that’s better. That’s 25.

MATT: 25. You glance in the side, and you see now,

there is a singular small palantír-type orb,

but smaller, that is a foggy gray color on the

inside that’s slowly swirling, and you can see

it’s gathering condensation and mist around it.

TALIESIN: Does there seem to be any mechanism for

turning it off or otherwise?

MATT: It looks like it’s just embedded into it.

MARISHA: Take it with us, take it with us.

TALIESIN: I’m going to at least try and pick it

up, and–

MATT: Make a strength check.

TALIESIN: Okay.

LIAM: While he’s busy, I’m gonna jet over next to

Keyleth.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Oh, are we in combat rounds?

MATT: We’re going to stay in order for a second.

LIAM: Oh, okay.

MATT: There is a bit of a–

TALIESIN: That’s adorable.

MARISHA: That’s sad.

TALIESIN: Three.

MATT: (straining sound) You feel something pop in

your back shoulder,

and your right arm gets a little numb.

TALIESIN: That’s so mean.

(all laugh)

LIAM: It’s like when you just reach out to pick up

something–

MARISHA: Yeah, you never know. Getting old, man.

TALIESIN: There’s no way to–

MATT: As you go over to it, you see it’s there,

but it’s currently held in place by something

that’s beneath the orb, or at least it’s either

adhered or glued to or held there, you just don’t

have the strength to lift it.

TALIESIN: There’s gotta be a way to turn this

off.

MATT: So that’s your turn.

MARISHA: I shout to–

MATT: It’s Grog’s turn, actually.

MARISHA: Sorry.

TRAVIS: I go over to the harpoon hook, and like,

fuck this harpoon hook. Can I try and get it out

of the ship with my strength?

MATT: Sure, go ahead and roll a strength check.

With advantage, because you are raging.

TRAVIS: Hey. 25.

MATT: One-handed.

LAURA: Hey!

MATT: (tink, fwoomp) And it just flies out of your

grip from the tension out of the ship. You have to

pull your hand back 'cause the– one of the giant

gnarled edges of it

almost take your arm off in the process.

TRAVIS: (gasp)

LAURA: You almost lost that gauntlet!

MATT: It tears a section of the edge of this boat

off. Just the railing on the side kind of pulls

through it immediately.

TRAVIS: I’ll pay for that.

MATT: Trinket has to pull off to the side and the

one guy kind of backs up immediately as it shoots

off into the water below. For you guys, the ship,

now that it doesn’t have the tension to the side,

is now capsizing very quickly and turning on the

side.

TALIESIN: Oh, god.

TRAVIS: I feel like I did something bad.

MARISHA: That was cool!

TRAVIS: Oopsie.

MATT: Keyleth, you’re up.

MARISHA: I say: Hey guys! Cruises are really

trashy! (laughs)

TRAVIS: Jokes while you’re doing that.

MARISHA: And I still have Control Water going.

LIAM: Tip your waiters.

MARISHA: Can I flush out the bottom of the cruise

ship and bring whatever treasure is up out of the

bow with what water is there? Just kind of

(whoof)?

TALIESIN: Like a spigot.

MATT: You’re kinda off to the side. You can look

down, it’s not very well-lit on the inside at all.

Like, it is not lit on the interior. You do have

your elven darkvision for a few feet, so you have

to glance over and look into the room below,

but right now all you’re seeing is seafoam and

ocean pouring into the side of the ship.

MARISHA: Okay, I stop sinking the boat. Because

we’re not dying.

MATT: Okay. The ship is still sinking. You filled

it with water,

and currently the side of it has

been blasted twice.

MARISHA: I bring the water up like a fountain of

wealth and youth.

Just coming up. Out of the bottom.

(all laugh)

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Wow.

MARISHA: Just other way.

LIAM: Oh, boy!

MARISHA: Seeing what comes out from the bottom of

the ship.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Hopefully not dead bodies or like–

TALIESIN: (sings) It’s rainin’ men…

LAURA: I know, if there were slaves–

MARISHA: Slave trade or something sad– yeah,

like slave.

LAURA: Fingers crossed. Let’s not do that to

Keyleth.

MARISHA: Oh, come on!

TRAVIS: It’s just kids!

MARISHA: He’s looking at his notes like it’s a

thing!

TRAVIS: It’s just kids.

EVERYONE: (laughs and groans)

TRAVIS: Kids and puppies!

MARISHA: That’s my worst nightmare!

MATT: You’re terrible!

TRAVIS: Kids and puppies!

LIAM: Gosh!

MATT: Okay, so as the water comes rushing up from

underneath, you see a lot of genuinely soaked food

items come shooting up, large chunks of broken

wood,

what appear to be additional iron ballista spears.

MARISHA: Oh!

MATT: And lots of chain come firing up from the

inside.

MARISHA: Watch your head! Points!

MATT: Furniture, chairs, occasionally (water sound

effects) just pieces of broken things from the

interior. You’re not seeing much else than that at

the moment.

MARISHA: Aw. These were lame pirates! No

treasure.

TALIESIN: Let’s get the orb at the very least.

MATT: (sarcastically) Good pirates keep all their

treasure on their ship at all times.

MARISHA: Lame!

(all laugh)

LIAM: Just hundreds and hundreds of NES classics.

LAURA: We really should’ve kept one of them

alive.

TRAVIS: Do you wanna check the captain’s quarters

before it all goes down?

LAURA: Yeah! What if there’s a map to treasure?

LIAM: (sighs) Looks like it’s going down pretty

fast, though, yeah?

TRAVIS: Those of you on the boat–

TALIESIN: Doing it now– yes, we want to it now

while there’s

an order of operations based on a die roll!

KEYLETH: I have control! I have control!

MATT: Taryon!

SAM: Yes?

MATT: Anything you wish to add to this

circumstance? You’re now soaking wet, but your

winged savior has lifted you down onto the edge of

the ship.

LIAM: (ting)

TALIESIN: (sings) And I would do anything for

love.

SAM: How many of you can fly?

LIAM: Two or three, give or take.

SAM: Amazing! Incredible! Stupendous! No,

I have nothing to add, other than– do you need

my assistance in cleaning up any of these

ruffians? Oh, also, one question.

LIAM: Yeah?

SAM: Did I hurt the beast?

LIAM: Man, you did great! You knocked that guy

clear off!

SAM: Really?

LIAM: Yeah.

SAM: I killed it!

LIAM: That’s a good start, man.

SAM: What was it?

LIAM: What was it?

SAM: Yes!

LIAM: Oh, you need to ask the white-haired one.

I dunno.

SAM: Okay!

TALIESIN: Oh, that’s me!

SAM: Was it bad?

LIAM: The worst!

MATT: All right, so you spend your turn

conversing.

LIAM: Yes.

SAM: Pretty much!

LIAM: Six seconds of dialogue, right there!

MATT: All right, we’ll say for the pace of things

here, guys, the ship is maybe 30 seconds from

fully sinking into the water. Anybody you guys

wanna–

LAURA: 30 seconds?

LIAM: I’m gonna do what I said before, and I’m

gonna go and land next to Keyleth.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: See if we can grab the orb. I’m gonna

run downstairs and see if I can see paperwork in

the captain’s quarters or anything– or run in the

captain’s quarters and just do a massive loot,

really, just as quick as I can.

MATT: Investigation check with disadvantage.

The room is currently tilted pretty heavily,

and everything has slid and collided onto one

side of the room.

It’s just a giant pile of broken furniture.

MARISHA: I said I balanced it out and that I’m

kind of doing that.

TRAVIS: You want me to jump over there and go get

the orb?

LAURA: Yeah!

MARISHA: We also kinda put a bunch of holes into

the side of it.

MATT: Yeah, there are a bunch of holes in the

ship–

MARISHA: So I can only do so much.

MATT: Your Control Water can localize some cool

effects, but overall the ship itself has taken too

much damage.

TRAVIS: Can I use my boots of Feral leaping to

leap from one ship to the other?

MATT: Sure, make an athletics check.

LAURA: I want to fly down and help Percy

investigate. If there’s time.

LIAM: We’re pretty flush already. Let’s make it

quick.

TALIESIN: Well, there might be something magic.

Okay. My investigation check is 19.

MATT: 19 with disadvantage?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: Nice! All right, pulling from the inside and

rummaging through, you find–

TALIESIN: Any papers I’m just gonna grab.

MATT: Yeah, you grab whatever papers you can,

there’s a small leather tube, you grab that.

Looking about inside, there’s a ring of keys.

You find a bunch of scattered coins throughout

the room. It looks like there was a couple of

small chests that just opened up and–

TALIESIN: I’m looking more for magic, I don’t care

about gold– magic or weird.

MATT: Right.

TALIESIN: Catch the eye. Are the keys, like–

MATT: They look like some sort of opening device,

yeah.

TALIESIN: Oh, no. Okay, yeah, I’m gonna grab them

anyway.

MATT: Okay. So you grab the keys. Cool. All

right.

TRAVIS: 22. To jump across.

MATT: To jump across, okay. So you make it across,

and you try and go underneath now. The ship, now,

not only is it listing to one side, but it’s

starting to lift up a little bit.

MARISHA: I try to balance it as much as I can.

MATT: So you’re slowing the process. Slowing it.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Make my way to the orb. Rip it out.

MATT: The ship is also slowly moving behind the

other ship, as it’s no longer maintaining speed.

All right, so what are you doing?

TRAVIS: I’m trying to make it to the orb that he

was too weak to pull out–

MATT: Strength check.

TALIESIN: I hope you pull something in your knee.

TRAVIS: Hah! 25.

TALIESIN: God damn it.

MATT: (popping sound)

TRAVIS: I got it! Throw it in the water?

TALIESIN: No! Let’s keep it, let’s bring it to the

other ship.

MARISHA: Put it in the Bag of Holding, Grog.

TRAVIS: In the Bag of Holding.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: And I run, and I try and jump back to the

other boat.

MATT: Make an athletics check.

TRAVIS: I’m not gonna make it, but–

LAURA: You might.

LIAM: You might.

TRAVIS: 23.

MATT: Five, ten, 15, 20… You catch the edge and

are dangling on the side of the ship

as your fingers are right there.

LIAM: Looney Tunes!

TRAVIS: (breathing hard) I’m good.

SAM: You could have flown.

TRAVIS: I swallowed the coin.

MATT: Percival, water is now starting to spill in

underneath you, and you’re now about knee-deep

inside, and everything’s– all the papers that you

haven’t already grabbed

are soaked and floating up at the top.

TALIESIN: I’m gonna run out. There’s– oh, man.

I don’t hear anything coming from down below,

do I?

MATT: Make a perception check.

LAURA: Did you ever hear that I wanted to go help

Percy investigate, was I able to do that?

MARISHA: Please tell me I didn’t kill someone

innocent again.

MATT: Yeah, you could fly over. Because you’re

behind him. As you rush in to help him, he has a

couple armfuls of things, the room is now about

knee-high with water and is tilting heavily to

this side, and there’s just floating bits of paper

and soaked books and pieces of broken wood and

furniture– the room is utter chaos.

LAURA: Anything interesting?

TALIESIN: Yeah, I don’t know. Hold on. I’m gonna

listen for it.

MARISHA: Hopefully no innocent people.

TALIESIN: Perception check.

SAM: (muffled) Help me, I’m an orphan!

TALIESIN: You’re terrible. 17.

MATT: 17? You take a listen. Through all the

splashing of water, the sound of wood creaking,

and the ocean outside, you don’t hear anything.

LAURA: What are you listening for?

TALIESIN: I show the keys. I’m worried there’s a

cage down there.

I still have the spider boots, so I’m holding on.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Can I hear anything with my elven ears?

MATT: Make a perception check.

TALIESIN: You’ve got an elven perception check.

LIAM: They’re taking the hobbits to Isengard.

LAURA: What do your elf eyes see? Oh, nothing.

LIAM: It was a one.

LAURA: It was a one.

MATT: Okay, yeah. You go down and listen,

and as soon as you do the water splashes up into

your ear, and you get a bunch of salt water in the

ear canal.

Up in your nose a bit. You’re like, ugh.

LAURA: That was awful. We should get out.

TALIESIN: I’m gonna hand her a bunch of stuff,

including some of my things, and be back– I’m

gonna try and see if I can just–

MATT: Spider-boot down.

TALIESIN: Spider-boot and see if I can hold my

breath and look.

LAURA: Don’t drown, Percival.

TALIESIN: I’m gonna grab, and try and use the

lenses on my mask

to even get a clear shot of what’s under there.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: And I’m just trying to visualize with the

last ten minutes that I have of Control Water to

clear the bottom of this passage.

MATT: So you can do that. You can prevent,

slowing the sinking, to part water.

MARISHA: The rushing-in, that’s what I want to do.

I wanna part right where Percy’s heading.

MATT: Okay. As you do that, the ship begins to

list even further back and at an angle, and you

watch as the front of it comes upward, and

everything on the ship begins to slide past–

TRAVIS: Yes!

MATT: – in the direction of Keyleth and Vax.

MARISHA: Sorry, physics.

LIAM: Get off!

MATT: Can I have you both make dexterity saving

throws, if you could.

MARISHA: What, me too?

MATT: Yes.

MARISHA: Jesus F. Christ.

MATT: A bunch of barrels just (rolling sound) in

your direction.

MARISHA: Oh, that’s not too bad. Just straight dex

saving throw. Plus five.

LIAM: Natural 20.

MARISHA: What did I roll? 16.

MATT: Okay, yeah, you both manage to just sidestep

out of the way

as they tumble past and splash into

the water below.

TALIESIN: Get out of here, you two!

MATT: You’re starting to lose your footing a

little bit. You probably have one more round

before you just start sliding off the edge.

LIAM: Let’s go, man!

MARISHA: Quick, quick, quick!

TALIESIN: I’m fine. Vex is here, you two leave.

MATT: Percival. Perception check, as the water

separates in the room.

TALIESIN: Yeah. That’s what I’m hoping for.

MARISHA: Aw, you rolled a 19!

TALIESIN: That’s 26.

MATT: Okay. As you push down into the chamber with

the walls of the water to the sides– as you look

down, and most of the furniture that was thrust up

out of this area is cleared out. You do see two

cages in the far back, one of which is empty.

The other one does seem to have some sort of

humanoid inside.

TALIESIN: I’m going for it.

MARISHA: Come on.

MATT: Okay. You rush up to the cage, and you look

inside and you can already see what looks to be a

slumped-over humanoid. You see no features,

and there’s no light down here, and your human

eyes don’t make out a lot of detail. The fact that

you rolled so high– it’s only the little bit of

light comes down here that’s reflecting around.

LAURA: Shit.

TALIESIN: I’ve already got the keys in my hand and

I’m just going to start going for it.

MATT: First key, nothing. Second key, nothing.

Third key, noth– (creaking sounds)

SAM: Cut the red wire!

MATT: Water begins to pour in from another side,

and the ship itself is pulling back. I want you

to go ahead and make an intelligence check.

MARISHA: Come on, Percy. Come on.

TALIESIN: I’m going to choose to use a Resolve.

That’s a save, isn’t it?

MATT: That’s for a saving throw.

TALIESIN: God damn it.

TRAVIS: Why didn’t you roll the snitch?

MATT: What did you roll?

TALIESIN: I rolled a one.

MATT: A natural one. You start getting the keys

in, and there’s probably a good 15 or 16 or so

keys on here, and you get through about six of

them before the ship itself has gone into a fall,

and the cages begin to slide–

TALIESIN: Okay, I’m rolling. There’s someone in

there, but I can’t get it! And I’m going to

spider-climb on the upside, on the wrong side of

the wood and stay out of the water and crawl out.

LIAM: Was he under water, or was the water–

MATT: The water is being parted by Keyleth,

currently.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: The cage is beginning to slide now,

towards the back of the ship.

TALIESIN: I don’t know what to do. And I’m running

out, I don’t know what else to do.

MATT: Okay, so.

MARISHA: What?

TALIESIN: There’s someone in a cage. I don’t know

what to do!

LIAM: I’ll fly at that.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Are you going? I’m gonna try whatever

last bit of Control Water I have to try and part

and calm the waters where Vax is going, and I say,

go Vax, go!

MATT: Okay, so you just fly in?

LIAM: If there’s a cage, I’ll go to it.

MATT: As you rush down inside, you watch as these

two large, heavy cages are tumbling in your

direction. An empty one slams just past you,

and the other one slams into that, itself turning

up a bit, and something inside slumps to the side

of the bars.

MARISHA: I’m trying to calm the water as much as I

can.

LIAM: Can I even see the lock or where the keys

were?

MATT: Make an investigation check.

LIAM: All right.

MATT: The keys you do not have. Percy has–

TALIESIN: I have the keys, but none of them were

working.

LIAM: That’s a 21.

MATT: 21. You manage to, as you leap up using your

wings in little bursts– this is a small,

enclosed space, you can’t use too much of the air

to fly. In what little bit of parting of the

water’s being done, you catch up and climb onto

the top, and you can see the cage has turned on

its side, and the doorway is on the top.

So you can see the actual lock.

LIAM: All right. While I’m hasted, do I have an

action left to get up there and pick it?

MATT: I’d say yeah.

LIAM: Yeah? Okay.

LAURA and MARISHA: Go, go, go!

LIAM: 32.

MATT: You reach out and pull out your picks,

and as you look up– Keyleth, at this point

you’re parting the water, but the ship is now

sinking, and you are– you’re sliding off.

TALIESIN: I grab. Can I make a jump to grab?

MATT: You can. Go ahead and make a dexterity

check.

MARISHA: And I’m just holding concentration,

hoping someone catches me.

TALIESIN: My dexterity– save or check?

MATT: Either.

TALIESIN: They’re both the same. It doesn’t

matter.

MARISHA: That’s good, that’s good.

TALIESIN: 22.

MATT: Just catch Keyleth as she’s about to slide

off the edge, and you hold her there. Now,

I will not require a concentration check from

you, however,

you’re about to both go under water.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: You’re holding her at the edge of the ship.

You get the door open. It slams over on the side.

And looking down inside, you can see what appears

to be

a slumped-over, soggy mess of a person.

Unconscious.

LIAM: Okay, can I keep going here, or–

MATT: Yeah. Grab them, pull them up, fireman’s

carry–

LIAM: And then just try to slowly, messily float

him up and out of here.

LAURA: I want to go help if I can.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Yeah, there’s not much room for flight,

it’s more like–

LIAM: All right, so pull.

MATT: – leaping through, as you make your way

there. You just get up onto the edge as the water

goes past both Percy and Keyleth. You guys,

your faces just (splash) beneath the ocean

water.

MARISHA: Yeah!

LIAM: I shout out, Twinnie!

LAURA: I help, I help, I help.

MATT: You rush down from the broom. He goes and

flings the person over your lap, and you take up

on the rest of the ship as the boat now is

completely submerged. You watch the tip of it just

(splash) beneath the water.

Bubbling the water up around as–

MARISHA: I drop Control Water, switch back to my

Alter Self, grab Percy, head back to the boat.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: While this is going on, I’m asking Captain

Adella’s crew for towels. Could I get a towel?

Or some sort of– I’m really wet, here.

MATT: They’re all on the edge of the ship,

watching this happen. With one in the crow’s

nest, keeping an eye out. And they’re not paying

any attention to you.

SAM: I’m just worried that this will rust if I

don’t get it dry soon, so if I could get some

towels, or maybe someone to fan it off, that would

be great. Thank you.

MATT: All right. No response, but you are eager to

repeat your question. As you make your way over,

Keyleth, you pull Percival– because both of you

guys sink quite a bit below with the ship.

As soon as it goes under, it goes under fast,

and as soon as you glance up to watch that Vax

makes his way out, and you can just see over the

surface, you relieve that to start swimming up,

and both the two of you– you release your boots,

and begin to make your way to the surface.

It takes a moment, and you just get to the cusp

of what you can hold your breath, before you both

break the surface. Percy takes a deep breath,

and you guys eventually swim your way over

towards the edge of the boat. The fog, by the way,

has begun to dissipate now, and has been slowly

doing so since your removal of the orb from the

edge.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: As you guys all manage to make your way back

onto the surface of the ship, waterlogged and

tired, we’re going to take a break for the

restroom.

TRAVIS: Nice! A fight at sea!

MARISHA: A fight at sea!

TRAVIS: We made it off the Titanic!

TALIESIN: I fell off a boat.

LIAM: This is stupid, Rose! This is stupid!

TRAVIS: This is stupid, why would you do that?

MARISHA: Like Battleship, but better.

MATT: So we’ll be back here in a few minutes.

We do have a Wyrmwood giveaway for you guys in

the chat room. Be active in the chat room,

just you have to use the phrase 'Wyrmwood’,

w-y-r-m-w-o-o-d, in the chat room, once they

initiate the actual contest, and we’ll come back

from the break with the winner. So we’ll see you

here in a few minutes, guys.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

Break
[break]

Part II
MATT: Hello, everyone, and welcome back to

Critical Role! First off, thank you again to our

evening’s sponsor, Tor Books!

ALL: Tor Books!

MATT: For coming out and sponsoring this episode,

make sure to check out A Conjuring of Light,

the conclusion to the Shades of Magic series is

now available. Also, we had a contest in

the chat for this fantastic mahogany dice vault by

Wyrmwood, the winner is Terrythesortofgamer.

(all cheer)

MATT: Congratulations, Terry, we’re gonna go ahead

and get this signed and shipped out to you ASAP.

Thank you all for entering, we’ll have more

giveaways in future episodes as well as Talks

Machina on Tuesday with Brian Foster.

Anyway, let’s bring it back in.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

MATT: So, having returned to the ship, the fog

lifted, and the path before you now clear,

the rest of the open, cloudless sky before you,

you continued ahead in the southwestern

direction towards the Islands of Anamn,

which is where Vesrah exists–

LAURA: But I wanted to see the prisoner–

MARISHA: Yeah, the prisoner.

LAURA: – are they okay? I mean,

did I check them out while I was–

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: We’re getting to that right now.

MARISHA: Let’s bring 'em back.

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Fuckin’, just cool your jets.

MARISHA: We wanna talk to him.

LAURA: Well, I mean, I had him on my lap

as I was flying back.

I wanted to make sure they were okay.

MATT: Right, so you come back to the–

as you bring the prisoner down,

you lay him down– and it is a man, early, mid-

thirties-ish, maybe

looks grizzled, kind of a half beard growing in–

TRAVIS: Kill him.

MATT: – he is drowned at the moment.

LAURA: (gasps)

SAM: Oh, he’s dead?

MATT: He’s not breathing, he is waterlogged,

and even at a quick glance,

you can see he has scars all over his

body–

LAURA: Oh no.

MATT: – his clothes are tattered–

MARISHA: Do I have any residual Control Water

left? Yeah?

MATT: I’d say yeah, you’re still concentrating–

LAURA: I roll him on his side.

MARISHA: Can I see if I can pull any water out of

his lungs?

MATT: You know what? Make a wisdom check.

LIAM: Out come the lungs.

LAURA: (vomit noise) And he’s dead. Dead dead.

MARISHA: That’s good! Just straight wisdom?

LIAM: He’s inside out.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Straight wisdom?

TRAVIS: What is dead may never die!

MARISHA: 21.

LAURA: Oh no, you keep scooching back.

MATT: 21!

MARISHA: Just straight wisdom?

LIAM: What the heck, Laura.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: So you get down on the low, and you reach

out and grab the shoulder, and using the last

moments of your Control Water spell, you focus

and begin to just siphon the water out of the lungs,

and immediately the body kind of convulses,

the throat opens up from the outside, and you can

see the water just project outward as the chest

pushes inward, expelling the rest of the liquid

from the lungs. Immediately, (coughs).

MARISHA: Vax. Help.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Pat, pat, pat, pat, pat.

LIAM: I do pat, pat, pat, except I cast Lay on

Hands when I do it.

LAURA: Yeah, well, I cast Cure Wounds while that

happens, so go fuck yourself.

LIAM: Seems oddly competitive at this moment,

where we’re saving a man’s life, but all right.

MATT: What last murmurs of this man’s life

that remained as he began to fade to the drowning,

you both manage to just bring him back from the

cusp of death, and coughing profusely over the

next 30 or so seconds, turning onto his stomach

and gathering himself, taking breaths, spitting

out whatever seawater still remains in his lungs,

he looks back up at you all, and you can see he

has a ragged, mouse-brown hair on top, and it’s

shorter on the sides around the ear, rather large

ears, kind of square jaw but very scrawny,

and once again from the tattered clothes and

scars all over his body, some fresh, some old,

looks like he’s undergone a rough recent weeks–

LAURA: I feel like we’re finding Percy all over

again.

MARISHA: No shit.

MATT: Kinda looks up at everyone.

“Wh– Where am I?”

LAURA: On a boat!

TALIESIN: Different boat. Ship.

LIAM: Our boat.

MATT: “What do you want?”

LAURA: How long have you been in that cell?

MATT: “Who are you?”

MARISHA: Sorry.

LAURA: We’re your saviors.

MATT: He leans back, falls onto his palms a bit,

and is just kinda laying back,

too exhausted to move away, but trying to just

move back a bit.

LAURA: Can I insight check him and make sure?

I just don’t trust anyone.

MATT: Sure. Insight check.

LAURA: Ooh, natural 20. Wow wow wow.

SAM: He’s a demon.

MARISHA: Oh shit.

LIAM: It’s Hotis, it’s Hotis, it’s Hotis, it's

Hotis!

LAURA: Oh it is, it’s Hotis, it’s Hotis!

MARISHA: Oh, I don’t wanna fight Hotis on the

ocean.

SAM: Guys, feel free to keep–

MARISHA: What you got? What do you got, Grog?

MATT: Shove off, Travis.

SAM: Keep tweeting those pick-up lines to

@TorBooks. They like 'em. I do, anyway.

LIAM: Guys, I’m gonna make a Tor Books run, does

anybody want anything?

MATT: Curse you, Travis.

SAM: Grande fantasy novel?

LAURA: Don’t worry.

MATT: (coughs)

LAURA: Your captors have been defeated.

MATT: “Well that’s good, eh?”

LAURA: You’re safe. What’s your name?

MATT: He leans forward, sits up and looks at you.

He seems to soften a little bit, though he’s

still guarded. “Thenton Groose. First Mate of the

ship Tempest Fang. Yeah.”

LAURA: Tempest Fang?

MATT: “Tempest Fang. Yeah. It was taken by a bunch

of bastards, kept me in that cage for a few weeks.”

LAURA: Weeks.

MARISHA: Tempest Fang– where do you hail from?

MATT: “Who wants to know?”

MARISHA: Keyleth, of the Air Ashari.

MATT: “From around.”

MARISHA: From around?

MATT: “I’m a businessman of the seas.”

MARISHA: Not the sailor type, then?

MATT: “Sail a bit.”

MARISHA: What were you doing on the Ozmit

Sea?

MATT: “Making a shipment across to Emon from

Issylra, and this group of thugs decided to go

"ahead and ransack us from the side. Took our ship

down and most of the crew. Kept a few of us alive

"underneath. Seems like I was the one who lasted

the longest.”

MARISHA: From Emon to where?

LIAM: From Issylra to Emon.

MATT: “From Issylra.”

MARISHA: Oh, from Issylra.

LIAM: What was your cargo?

MATT: He looks at you for a second, reads you up

and down as you step into the conversation.

“General goods. Few fancy textiles–”

LIAM: Insight check.

MATT: “Some silks, some furs.”

TALIESIN: Insight.

MATT: Insight check.

LIAM: 18.

TALIESIN: 19.

LAURA: Ooh.

SAM: Oh boy!

LAURA: Again, again!

SAM: Lots of whispers, guys.

LIAM: Just come sit with us.

MARISHA: All the whispers.

LAURA: Oh, but do you just wanna hang

out over here?

'Cause Travis is just gonna fuck with

your shit again.

SAM: Hey, in the future– Travis, what do you

think about this– don’t shake your butt.

MARISHA: Yeah!

SAM: That’s disgusting.

MARISHA: Get it, Levi’s, yeah.

SAM: What if we– here’s my pitch. What if we

have two tin cans and a string that just goes to

Matt, and we can do like one of these

things.

MATT: That’s a great idea.

SAM: Ah! Ah!

LAURA: That would be so cool.

MATT: “Yeah, I’m just– I’m glad you came along.”

TALIESIN: Tell me, friend. Why did they keep you

alive?

MATT: “That’s a good question.”

TALIESIN: It is.

MATT: “I don’t fucking know.”

TALIESIN: What did they ask you?

LAURA: Can we get some food?

TALIESIN: I think that’s a great idea.

MATT: Immediately his eyes widen–

LAURA: I was talking back to Captain Adella

or one of the crewmates. Not you, Grog.

MATT: As soon as you do that, Captain Adella

goes, “Ah, I don’t get food. You get food!”

And one of the other crewmates, “Oh, oh right.”

And he immediately jumps down below the deck.

SAM: I’m gluten-free!

LIAM: Well, we saved your life, how else can we

help you, friend?

MATT: “Oh, just drop me off at the nearest port

you get to, please.”

TALIESIN: That’s going to be a while.

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: “That’s fine. That’s fine.”

MARISHA: Have you sailed frequently before?

What was your exact duty on this ship?

LAURA: First Mate?

MARISHA: Oh. Right. He already said that. So,

you sail a lot.

MATT: “A fair bit, yeah.”

MARISHA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Any tattoos on him?

MATT: Yeah, actually, a handful visibly.

TALIESIN: Any I’d recognize? I was on a boat for

quite a while, as well.

MATT: Right.

TALIESIN: It was a long time ago.

MATT: Make a history check.

TALIESIN: All right. Let’s say 18.

MATT: 18? Okay. None of the

symbols you recognize, necessarily, however,

the arrangement of them– the placement of them

and the general design are not used as– there’s

tattoos you could see they’re decoration,

there’re tattoos you could see that are meant

as– they mean something to the person. These

tattoos

and their placement seems intentionally to

intimidate.

TALIESIN: Huh. Okay.

LAURA: Was he a pirate?

TRAVIS: Mr. Theton Groove, is anyone

looking for you right now?

MATT: “I don’t think

so, my crew went down with the ship.”

TALIESIN: What was your captain’s name?

MATT: He kind of looks over at you,

“Wha– what– why–”

TALIESIN: I was just curious how quickly

you’d answer it. It’s fine. Carry on. You will be

getting food, don’t worry, this is not us being

threatening, we’re just… it’s odd finding a man

in a cage in the bottom of a terrible ship filled

with awful people.

That alone makes us like you, but you are

a bit weird.

MARISHA: That’s true. That’s all true.

TALIESIN: It is true.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: Forgive us, we have to be a bit wary.

MARISHA: We’ve seen a lot.

MATT: “No, no, that’s–”

TALIESIN: We don’t mind if you’re disreputable,

we just would like

to know if you’re our kind of disreputable.

SAM: If I may, new companions.

TRAVIS: Oh god.

SAM: When my father would have–

TALIESIN: Oh boy, okay.

SAM: – sort of a cagey individual that he needed

to interrogate, he had an employee named The Dog

who was a large man, who would come and just

squeeze them until they talked. Why don’t

we just do that here? It seems like it would be

much quicker than talking in circles like this.

MARISHA: Do you have The Dog with you?

SAM: Well, we have this guy, who’s pretty big–

MARISHA: Oh.

SAM: – and I bet he could squeeze–

TRAVIS: I mean, I second that method,

but I’m just seeing if anybody else–

TALIESIN: I feel like that’s deeply premature.

TRAVIS: It’s deeply immature. I would never

do something like that.

TALIESIN: Immature indeed.

SAM: Well, all right.

LAURA: Plus he’s so frail right now, I’m afraid

Grog would just break him in half.

TRAVIS: Probably.

MATT: He is noticeably looking nervously back and

forth between Taryon and Grog, and–

TRAVIS: I mean, after all, we saved your life,

right?

You wouldn’t be

(yells) hiding nothing, would you?

MATT: “No?”

TRAVIS: See?

MARISHA: Honestly, this is how we treat

people we like.

TALIESIN: God, that’s also true.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: “Does anyone have any water?”

LAURA: Yes.

TALIESIN: Oh yes.

MATT: “Fresh water? Oh, thank you.”

And he pulls it out and just starts drinking

thirstily from it.

MARISHA: All right. So we’ve cleared a

few things, right? You seem untrustworthy,

and broken, so therefore we like you. What else

can we learn about you?

MATT: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Look, I have business contacts,

"I can get you paid, just get me safe somewhere.”

TALIESIN: What sort of business contacts?

MATT: “The sort that I do business with, I told

you. We deal in trade across the Ozmit.”

LIAM: Yeah, I mean, he’s shifty as fuck,

but it’s no skin off my back, right?

TALIESIN: No, not really.

TRAVIS: We got any cages on this boat?

TALIESIN: Oh, we’re not– we don’t need that yet,

where’s he going to go?

LAURA: Do I see any, like, Clasp markings on him

at all?

LIAM: That question might be great, but I think

we’re all right.

MATT: Nothing Clasp. Not really.

TRAVIS: Gotta sleep at some point.

MATT: You kinda glance over and look at the middle

of his shoulders and his shirt is

kind of billowing, and torn. No symbol of the Clasp.

LAURA: Those scars on your body. Were they from

before you were captured, or after?

MATT: “Some– both ways. The cages don’t really

protect very well.”

LAURA: What were they doing to you?

MATT: “They were just having fun, trying to get

information about my company, and,

"you know. Being general pirate arseholes.”

TRAVIS: Sounds fun.

MARISHA: And you’re sure they were just pirates,

yeah?

MATT: “Well, what else are they? Not the most

pious men I’ve ever met.”

MARISHA: I don’t know. I’ve never met a real

pirate until just now.

MATT: At which point, one of the crewmen comes

up with a small cluster of biscuits,

and hands them over as he greedily reaches out

like, “Oh!”

MARISHA: Wait, one of the crewmen?

TALIESIN: One of ours.

MARISHA: One of ours?

MATT: Yes.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: I asked if they would bring him food.

SAM: We asked for food.

MATT: Adella just sent him for food.

LAURA: I asked him to bring food.

MARISHA: Why is he acting like he’s starving?

LAURA: Because he’s been in a cage for

two weeks.

They didn’t feed him very much.

MARISHA: Oh, him, not our crewmate.

TRAVIS: Holy shit.

TALIESIN: Oh, okay, I–

MATT: The crewman brought food, and he

reached out for it.

MARISHA: Oh, sorry.

MATT: That’s okay.

MARISHA: Sorry, we were confused. Sorry.

MATT: That’s okay.

LIAM: Can’t you see everything around you?

It’s all here.

TRAVIS: He brings up a plate of biscuits and

hungrily starts eating.

TALIESIN: Bangarang. Bangarang!

MARISHA: I brought you biscuits! (eating

sounds)

TALIESIN: Congratulations, Peter.

MATT: The crewman’s a dick, by the way. Just–

MARISHA: Do you want these?

MATT: These are good biscuits, starving guy!

To be fair, that is kinda your style.

LAURA: Thenton, you will forgive us

if we don’t give you free

rein of the ship while you’re on here.

MATT: “Oh no, that’s fine. That’s fine. I mean,

lock me up, whatever you need.

"Just get me back to land, please.”

LAURA: We’ll promise not to poke you.

MATT: “That’s appreciated.”

MARISHA: So, you said you travel the Ozmit Sea

frequently, yeah?

MATT: “Yeah.”

MARISHA: Have you stumbled upon the island of the

Vesrah? The Ashari people of this ocean?

LAURA: (laughs) Of the Ashari.

MARISHA: Of the Ashari (laughs).

MATT: He says, “If what you’re referring to is

the Islands of Anamn, we generally steer clear.

"Too many reefs.”

MARISHA: Of Omand? Alland?

MATT: Anamn. A-N-A-M-N.

MARISHA: Almond?

SAM: Aman.

TALIESIN: Joy.

LAURA: A–

MARISHA: Almond Joy.

TALIESIN: Sorry.

MARISHA: The Island–

MATT: A-N-A-M-N. Anamn.

MARISHA: A-N-A-M-N.

TALIESIN: Cluster.

MARISHA: Anman. An-amn.

TRAVIS: Well, we should introduce ourselves,

at least.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: We are Vox Machina, a travelling

group of acrobats, and–

LAURA: Defeaters of dragons. No big deal.

TRAVIS: Yep.

LIAM: I do Van Damme splits, just as he

finishes that sentence.

LAURA: Trinket gets up and starts

dancing around like he knows what to do,

when we say we’re performers.

MARISHA: And I light up my fire hands.

TRAVIS: We do have two smarter members that are

not here, Scanlan and Pike, but maybe

you’ll see them later if you stick with us long

enough.

LAURA: She’s a sailor, too.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

MATT: “Great.”

SAM: Percival, am I misreading the scenario here?

Can I please just pour acid on him until he talks

to us? It seems like he’s holding back, am I

misreading, here?

TALIESIN: No– well, sort of– not really– sort

of. It’s complicated. We don’t pour acid on

people– well, that’s not true. No, that’s a lie.

We don’t just pour acid on people,

I feel like that’s reasonable to say.

We don’t just pour acid–

LIAM: Context. Context is key.

TALIESIN: – there’s usually context involved.

Things are complicated.

SAM: I am following your lead. But–

TALIESIN: When it is time to pour the acid,

we will

undoubtedly make sure that you are on the front–

not yet–

SAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: – but you’re good.

SAM: All right.

LIAM: Hey, Captain.

MATT: Adella’s behind you guys–

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: – just kinda watching this whole thing with

her arms crossed.

One of her crewmates is currently at the helm.

LIAM: I mean, the closest place to us right now is

our desination, most likely, right?

We’re not gonna be able to dump this guy

before we arrive, do you think?

MATT: “Yeah, no, we got maybe a day and a half

travel 'til we reach the islands, so–”

LIAM: Oy.

LAURA: That’s all right, he can stay

on the boat.

TRAVIS: We got an extra room for him?

MATT: “We got a– we can throw him in the

brig.”

TALIESIN: We can make the brig comfortable.

LAURA: Yeah. We’ll give him food. It’s all right,

right, Captain?

MATT: “We’ll set some of– one of our men on guard.

All right! Pick him up. Throw him in the hole.”

Two of the crewmen come behind and pick him up,

and kind of lean over the shoulder, like,

“Ooh, thank you. Thank you very much, all of you.”

And he gets dragged off down below into the ship.

LIAM: Byeee.

MARISHA: Bye.

LAURA: Captain, have you heard of the Tempest

Fang?

MATT: “I’ve heard a thing or two.”

LAURA: Oh, really?

MATT: “Yeah.”

TALIESIN: Is it a pirating vessel?

MATT: “Yeah.”

(all laugh)

MATT: “I was gonna let him finish his

whole diatribe before we had a conversation,

"but he’s one of 18 working companies out of the

archipelago, so–”

TRAVIS: I believe it’s arch-i-pelago.

SAM: Sea diarrhea!

TRAVIS: Jot this down!

(horn noises)

LIAM: That was sudden!

TALIESIN: And the tension is relieved.

MARISHA: So, wait. If he works for one of 18

companies of the archipelago,

that means the archipelago has pirates–

LAURA: – 17 other companies.

MARISHA: 17 other pirate ships?

MATT: Pirate companies. It’s a very– some of them

have alliances, some of them have very, very

deep-rooted rivalries, and yeah.

TALIESIN: The companies themselves have more than

one ship, if I recall.

MATT: Some of them do, depending on the size.

MARISHA: Wait, did we just sink one of the other

17 companies of the archipelago?

TRAVIS: Is there any extensive damage to our ship?

Are we still pretty good,

other than the railing getting ripped off?

MATT: “Looking around, my crewmen tell me we’re

doing all right. So we’ll do some repairs when we

"drop off at your location. Once you do your

business, we’ll have some time to go ahead and do

"a once-over of our ship.”

TALIESIN: I may have some charts that I stole from

the other ship, as well.

LAURA: Oh, yeah. I put them in the Bag of Colding

for the time being. Pull it out.

MATT: Okay. Glancing about, a lot of them are maps

of portions of the archipelago, the Hespit

Archipelago, some are markings of various pirate

headquarters, various places of parlay. A lot of

them are waterlogged and soaked and damaged,

but you can see elements that are– a lot of them

are hand-drawn notes in sections. The leather tube

that you found, you pull it open, and there is a

very, very immaculate piece of vellum paper that

appears

to have a number of glyphs scrawled across it.

LAURA: Shit. Do we understand?

SAM: May I see that?

TALIESIN: Sure.

SAM: I will Identify it.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: What?

(all cheer)

SAM: Much easier this way.

LAURA: That’s great! You can Identify things? How

many times a day can you do that?

SAM: I think all? Scroll of Programmed Illusion.

Scroll allows an arcane caster to use an action

to cast the sixth-level spell Programmed Illusion.

If the spell is higher-level than the caster can

use, they must make a spellcasting

blah-blah-blah-blah-blah.

LAURA: Are you an arcane user?

SAM: I think I am.

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Is this basically like the thing in

Superman 2 where Lex Luthor’s playing chess–

TRAVIS: In the prison cell?

MATT: Kind of?

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: You have to look up the spell for the

specifics,

but yeah, it’s got some interesting uses.

SAM: Are you arcane?

LAURA: So basically it’s you. You can use it.

SAM: Am I the only arcane?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Yes, I’m a natural caster. You’re the

only arcane caster.

LAURA: I mean, hold on to it in case we run into

Scanlan again.

TRAVIS: I am a powerful magician.

LAURA: Or you can use it.

TRAVIS: And with that, I take out the little gem

thing that I pulled off the other ship.

SAM: Ooh! Should I Identify that?

TALIESIN: You should Identify it.

MARISHA: You should.

SAM: Can I, more than once a day?

MATT: Look at the ability. It’s the spell– I

gotta look.

SAM: It’s the Identify spell.

MATT: Yeah, it’s a first-level spell.

MARISHA: All the papers. All the papers in the

world.

TALIESIN: I imagine you’re sitting here going–

MATT: It’s a first-level spell, so as long as you

have a first-level spell slot.

SAM: Oh.

LAURA: Oh, I have a spyglass, I didn’t even need

to ask for Captain Adella’s.

SAM: It’s a ritual, though, is that–

MATT: Oh, yeah, if you can use it as a ritual,

then it won’t use a spell slot when you do that.

MARISHA: You just do it, it just takes time.

SAM: All right. I will ritually Identify that.

What’s that all about?

MATT: That is a fog marker. It can be used by

holding it a round, but it is generally used to

create a 100-foot-wide fog cloud that lasts for an

hour when used.

SAM: Do we know how to activate it?

MATT: To activate it, you have to spend a

ten-minute period of time concentrating on the

orb, and then as it gets moved, it carries the fog

cloud with it and lasts for an hour.

LAURA: That’s cool.

SAM: Could be useful.

LAURA: Super useful.

TALIESIN: At the very least, it could be installed

in the ship. They could have it as a possible–

SAM: Cloaking device?

TRAVIS: You could put it in the guts of Dottie.

SAM: Doty.

TRAVIS: Yep.

LAURA: Deedee?

MARISHA: Could you do that?

TALIESIN: I don’t know. It’s not like he’s

hollow.

MARISHA: In Doodie?

SAM: I mean, he’s got a lot of stuff in there.

TRAVIS: But that’s not important, that stuff in

there.

LIAM: What kind of stuff?

TALIESIN: Things.

SAM: You know.

LIAM: No.

SAM: When you have two wheels and some ropes and

it makes a pulley system–

TRAVIS: Okay, no, just give it back to me,

I’ll put it back in the Bag of Holding.

SAM: All right.

TRAVIS: Thanks.

TALIESIN: How big is the orb, out of curiosity?

MATT: The orb is maybe seven-inch diameter.

It’s about that big.

TALIESIN: All right.

MARISHA: It’s seven-inch–

MATT: Yeah, it’s about that big.

TALIESIN: Interesting. All right.

MATT: So the ship is still progressing in that

direction.

MARISHA: Can I do a nature check on it? On the

orb?

MATT: To? What do you want to do with the nature

check?

SAM: To see if it smells like nature.

MARISHA: Did it come from any Water Ashari,

or anything like that?

(all laugh)

TRAVIS: What?

MATT: Roll a nature check.

SAM: Are you my brother? Are you my brother?

(all laugh)

MARISHA: 14?

MATT: It looks like a magic item.

MARISHA: That’s awesome. That’s cool.

TALIESIN: Does it have smoke inside when

you turn it?

MATT: Yeah, when you turn it–

TALIESIN: Like those weird balls filled with weird

sand–

MATT: Yeah, actually, it kinda looks like that.

As you shift it, it swirls on the inside.

It causes the air– intense condensation that

eventually drips

from the outside of it when it’s activated.

LAURA: Cool.

MARISHA: (laughs) Outlook cloudy.

MATT: All right. So as everything rests down in

the ship you can use, you have about a day and a

half travel until you’re supposed to reach the

islands.

TRAVIS: Can I post up outside of the brig where

stabbed-in-the-body McGee is sleeping?

MATT: Yeah. And as he–

TRAVIS: I’ll forego my room. I just want to sleep

sitting up.

LIAM: Do we have rooms? I thought it was like Amex

City on this–

LAURA: No, we have rooms. But they’re combined.

MATT: Yeah, they’re clustered, you have many

people per room. They’re like bunks. So yeah,

you post outside of the brig. As evening comes,

the night passes. Is there anything you want to

do? You just rest for the night?

TRAVIS: Yeah, just keep the other guard company.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Just to give him a little expert help.

TALIESIN: We’ve been tinkering on the ship, so.

MATT: What have you been tinkering?

SAM: Science-bro stuff.

TALIESIN: Science-bro stuff. Do we have to tell

you what it is?

MATT: To tinker it, so I can give you a DC, yeah.

TALIESIN: So he’s got this really cool–

MATT: “We tinkered something really cool.

Did it work?”

Sure, it succeeds. “We built Voltron.”

TALIESIN: You were very cagey about knowing what

it is while we were on break,

so I didn’t know if this was a thing.

SAM: So, using one of the opals from my Helm of

whatever, Brilliance,

he wanted to craft a housing for it–

TALIESIN: So I’ve built a couple housings for

these opals. So, you pop the opal in, and it will

allow it to create either a concentrated beam–

SAM: Spotlight.

TALIESIN: Spotlight, basically, like a little

flashlight, a radiant beam like a torch–

MARISHA: Floodlight.

TALIESIN: Like a floodlight, or while it’s on

spotlight, it’s got a little railroad thing,

it’s got a little slot that will go in and give

me a little bit of a red vibe, so we can have a

low-light red light, and I’m also going to make a

little clip so I can stick it on my gun,

so I can have a little spotlight on my gun when

we’re going through a–

LIAM: It also ensures you cannot get a prom date.

TALIESIN: Hey, I’m doing okay, just saying.

Percy doing okay.

LAURA: I don’t know, you’ve been tinkering a lot

lately.

MATT: Okay, so that’s doable. The opal doesn’t

perpetually glow–

SAM: Yeah, it lasts for an hour. Is that something

we can turn off and on and it lasts for an hour,

like a battery, or is it just an hour, it’s

off–

TALIESIN: And then we have to pop a new opal in.

MATT: Generally, you have to pop a new opal in.

SAM: Okay, no problem.

TALIESIN: But you crack the opal, you put it in,

it’s like one hour of either flashlight,

and then a little blinder to turn it on and off–

it’s basically like a little train lantern.

MARISHA: I was gonna say, like an old-school

lighthouse.

MATT: Go ahead and roll a tinker check.

TALIESIN: Doing this together?

SAM: Can I help him?

MATT: Yes, you would be giving him advantage as

you attempt to do that.

So you just roll it twice, Percy.

TALIESIN: That was pretty good.

SAM: Did we get two 16s?

TALIESIN: I got a 19.

SAM: Oh. I got a 16, but I get plus ten with my

tinkerer’s tools.

TALIESIN: And mine’s proficiency bonus and dex

bonus on top of that 19? So that’s 30.

MATT: Between the two of you guys, it is not an

issue. Even with your limited materials,

but your travel-tinkering capabilities– you

manage to deftly create this seamless, beautiful,

you could sell it on the street.

TALIESIN: So they can– we may even make a little

headband so they can pop it on.

SAM: Sure, sure.

MATT: (laughs) You guys are so cute. All right.

MARISHA: I spend my evening reconnecting with

Vax.

MATT: Okay.

(all laugh)

SAM: The Hallmark card way of saying fucking.

TALIESIN: Well, there goes our sponsor by

Hallmark.

MATT: Yeah, thanks. Sorry, Hallmark.

LIAM: It’s a couple days– we’ve been traveling

for a while, right?

MATT: It was three days before this encounter,

you have a day and a half left.

LIAM: And has a day passed since that fight?

LAURA: No.

LIAM: No, this is that night?

LAURA: This is that night, yeah.

MATT: This is the evening afterward.

TALIESIN: I’ll see if I get my charges back.

MARISHA: I don’t want to say I feel like I’m being

replaced. You know? It’s not that. It’s just that

Percy’s kinda found a new friend.

LIAM: You’re losing some friends.

TALIESIN: We’re not hanging out all the time,

we’re being social.

MARISHA: No, it’s not that. I’m a good friend,

right?

LIAM: Oh hi, Percy.

SAM: I was going to say we’re being social.

TALIESIN: I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You guys aren't

there. I got distracted.

MATT: No, you guys are busy tinkering. You two

are having a conversation where

Vax is trying to console Keyleth’s sudden

friendship crisis.

SAM: Oh! Oh! You’ve got a little smudge

right there.

MARISHA: I mean, I know I can’t–

LIAM: You’re missing your friendo time, I

understand.

(all laugh)

MARISHA: I can’t fulfill every need.

LIAM: We hear them laughing from their

room.

(all laugh)

TALIESIN: (snorts)

MATT: It is a very thin wall.

TRAVIS: Yes, snorting.

SAM: And it was the metric system!

SAM and TALIESIN: (exaggerated laugh)

(all laugh)

MARISHA: I will never know what the metric system

means. I don’t know what that is.

LIAM: They’re both, you know, really special and–

MARISHA: I’m still a good friend, right? I’m still

a good friend?

LIAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: Am I a good friend?

LIAM: Yeah. You’re his best friend.

MARISHA: All right.

LIAM: Yeah, that’s just new–

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: – and those two have never

met–

MARISHA: No, I know.

LIAM: – a nerd as pure as the other.

SAM: (laughs)

MARISHA: I know I told them to like, bond

but now– I mean (sighs).

No, it’s fine, it’s fine. I’m cool. I’m cool.

LIAM: You’re more than cool.

MARISHA: I’ve missed you.

LIAM: (chuckles) Hi.

MARISHA: Hi. (crying sounds)

(all laugh)

LIAM: I dry the tears away. Do you know–

MARISHA: (tearfully) New guy and the new guy

dynamic!

And I don’t know what the new guy’s

chemistry’s like!

LIAM: Do you know what’s really cool, though? We’re

not on the verge of death every fucking day right now.

MARISHA: (tearfully) That’s true.

LIAM: Yeah, you know, pluses and minuses.

MARISHA: (tearfully) I’m glad the new guy’s the

worst of our problems.

(all laugh)

LIAM: Come here, you.

MARISHA: (tearfully) I just love Percy so much.

LIAM: I know, I know.

MATT: Aw.

LIAM: I know.

MATT: An evening of consoling and the rest of you

guys get your evening’s rest,

you outside the brig, uneventful.

LAURA: I did want to talk, but that’s okay.

TALIESIN: I get that.

LAURA: I can talk later.

MATT: Oh, did you want to talk? Go for it.

Go for it.

TRAVIS: (burps)

LIAM: Go interrupt the party.

LAURA: Yeah no, I was going to.

TALIESIN; Well, I was going to say, you’re welcome.

We’re finishing up, you’re welcome in.

MARISHA: (sobs)

LAURA: Oh! Only when you’re finishing up.

TRAVIS: Ooh.

TALIESIN: Well, I don’t know when you were–

We obviously did it.

SAM: We built our–

TALIESIN: I love that so much, it’s so–

TRAVIS: Wow, wow.

LIAM: Did it?

TALIESIN: Yeah, we put the whole thing

together.

LIAM: Put the whole thing?

TALIESIN: The whole thing put together.

MATT: Phrasing.

LIAM: Sure, yeah.

MARISHA: Man, you’re going for it.

(all laugh)

MATT: You hear, as you guys are finishing up,

you hear a knock at the door.

TRAVIS: Cleaning up your–

LAURA: Hello?

TALIESIN: Yes! Come in.

LAURA: Is it filled with smoke in here?

MARISHA: (laughs)

LAURA: Oh, hi Tary. I didn’t see you.

SAM: We were welding.

LAURA: Fun! Exciting! On a boat, even. Wow.

TALIESIN: It’s relatively safe.

LAURA: So! What’d you make?

TALIESIN: (sighs) Can I crack one?

SAM: Let’s do it.

TALIESIN: All right.

SAM: Oh wait, we’re using one?

TALIESIN: We’re using one.

SAM: All right, sure. Why not? It’s 1000

gold, but okay, sure.

(all laugh)

TALIESIN: It’s his father’s money.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: (crack, dink) As he flicks the opal,

it gives off

a bright equivalent of the Light spell.

LAURA: Oh.

SAM: Daylight.

MATT: Daylight! I’m sorry. This is–

LAURA: Oh, shit.

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: The power of the sun.

LAURA: That’s powerful.

MATT: Basically, there’s a sun in the room

suddenly (crackle).

TALIESIN: Wait.

LAURA: Oh wow, you guys made a–

MATT: You’re literally blinded for a moment.

TALIESIN: (laughs)

MATT: Your eyes just go (crackle).

TALIESIN: We put it in the box, contain it.

SAM: Well, wait, open it just a little bit.

TALIESIN: All right.

SAM: And then I’m gonna take my Helm of Brilliance

and just put one of the diamonds up to

the laser beam like light coming out so it makes

like a dazzling light across the–

LAURA: Wow.

MATT: It’s a beautiful prism, which you’re

able to see in about 40 seconds.

(all laugh)

LAURA: It’s a lot, it’s just a lot of spots right

now, but I’m sure.

TALIESIN: Sorry.

LAURA: Eventually. Oh! Pretty. Um, get out.

You, not you. If you don’t mind.

SAM: I don’t at all.

LAURA: I mean, of course you can stay–

TALIESIN: Get out. It’s okay.

SAM: I have a lot of dictation to do.

TALIESIN: Out, out, out, out, out.

LAURA: (quietly) Hi.

TALIESIN: And I boot him out. Oh hi, thank god.

And–

LAURA: So, Percy.

TALIESIN: Yes, dear?

LAURA: I’ve been meaning to bring something

up to you.

TALIESIN: Yes?

LAURA: At the risk of bringing up Scanlan again–

TALIESIN: Oh.

LAURA: Something I’d rather ignore.

TALIESIN: Yes, me too.

LAURA: When he left, he said something that caught

my ear, which was that he heard.

He heard Pike and his daughter, calling to him.

TALIESIN: Yes.

LAURA: From the other side. Which is strange

really, because when I was on the other side,

I don’t remember hearing anything. What about

you?

TALIESIN: Okay. I’m gonna sit down and open up a

bottle.

LAURA: Busting out the Courage again?

TALIESIN: The Courage, I think, is long gone

at this point.

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I’m going for the Tear whiskey, fuck it

Take a swing, and I pass.

LAURA: Mm.

TALIESIN: I was not in a good place, I was– what

I am choosing to describe as great motivation

to live a long life. There was pain and sound and

I’ve tried hard not to think about creating words

to articulate it, but it was the feeling of being–

it was not pain without end, it felt like pain

that would have an end because eventually there

would be nothing left of me.

I felt consumed. And yes, I heard.

It was the only thing I heard.

Yes. I know you well enough to know–

trying not to embarrass you, but–

LAURA: All right.

TALIESIN: – yes.

LAURA: I’m not embarrassed.

TALIESIN: Well, I would’ve, honestly–

I would’ve never hoped otherwise.

You’re far too wonderful for an idiot.

LAURA: (laughs)

TALIESIN: So (sighs), but I’m more hopeful.

I’m not quite as fearful of whether– I’m worrying

less about what may happen when I die again

and if I’m going to go back there.

LAURA: Well, that’s good. I would hope

he’s not waiting on the other side for you.

TALIESIN: I hope not either, and–

LAURA: What about when you were killed by Raishan?

TALIESIN: That was quick. It was fine, but it was

quick, so I’m not sure if that means anything yet.

I’ve overthought this quite a bit and I don’t

know if you care to hear too many of my fears in

this direction, but, I do think about it.

LAURA: You can always tell me your fears, Percy.

TALIESIN: Where do the people I kill go? I know

you don’t have an answer,

I don’t have an answer either, but–

LAURA: I don’t, I suppose it depends on them,

doesn’t it?

TALIESIN: Does it? Or does it depend on me? Or

does it now depend on this thing?

LAURA: You don’t think they were doomed to suffer

the same fate that you were?

TALIESIN: Maybe. I don’t know, maybe I keep

feeding it every time–

LAURA: Oh no.

TALIESIN: I don’t quite know how to find out,

other than I had a moment

where I thought about shooting someone,

bringing them back and asking them.

LAURA: (gasps)

TALIESIN: There was a moment I thought

about shooting someone.

Well, if it comes to it, it’s something I’ve had

in my back pocket as killing two birds with one

stone.

LAURA: Maybe we can just try that on

someone who we already need to kill.

TALIESIN: That’s my thought.

LAURA: Right.

TALIESIN: And, I worry about what

all of this is doing to us,

but at the same time, I have such faith in– I

have such faith in you and Keyleth, and

occasionally Grog, and occasionally your

brother.

LAURA: (laughs) Are you listening?

TALIESIN: (laughs) But I’m starting to

wonder if this is what all those heroes I read

about when I was young, if this is what they felt,

is just a lot of getting very comfortable with

not knowing and being nervous and wondering if

you’re really

just the villain of someone else’s story.

LAURA: I’m sure that’s how they feel.

No one’s ever sure they’re doing the right

thing.

TALIESIN: But I did hear you, sorry to– I

did hear you and sorry that I didn’t say.

LAURA: No, it’s all right. Takes the pressure

off, really, knowing that you know.

TALIESIN: I treasure every minute, and you remind

me to not be so serious.

LAURA: Yes. So serious.

TALIESIN: I’m not saying that you’re not

serious but– (sighs)

LAURA: (exasperated voice) You can go play

with Tary some more if you like.

TALIESIN: I’m done with Tary for the evening.

LAURA: Great! Then you can play with

me!

(all laugh)

TALIESIN: And crossing the whiskey off the

inventory.

MATT: Off the– yeah.

TALIESIN: (laughs)

MATT: All right, as the evening–

TRAVIS: Amazing.

MATT: – the evening comes to a close,

the next day’s journey is met

with a coming cloudfront, does not appear to be

storm-bearing clouds but the clear skies seem to

have come to an end.

MARISHA: I’m restless in

all of my night’s sleep as we get closer.

MATT: Mm-hm. As the next day comes to a close,

the sun setting, you hear a call from the top of

the crow’s nest that shouts out, “Land

ho!”

LAURA: We go running up.

MATT: You guys all catch up and you can see–

LIAM: (quietly) You got this.

MARISHA: (groans)

MATT: – just as the last bit of sunlit glow

behind the clouds begins to fade into darkness,

you see ahead the gentle shape of islands just

breaking the horizon ahead,

and one by one, little lights (click click click)

coming on.

MARISHA: I rush to the bow of the ship.

MATT: As you come up to the bow of the

ship, you can see at this point now,

Captain Adella is starting to shout off

to the side,

“Keep it all high!” and is currently moving

around and you see there are three guys at the

front who all have lanterns out and they’re

watching the water below and they’re shouting out,

“Five to the right!” and they’re giving different

degrees and she’s navigating through what looks to

be a channel of reefs, as you glance over the

edge. And you can see there are pathways here,

but it looks like a lot of this water is very

dangerous water and eventually you get to a point

where one of them shouts, “Stop! Stop!” and they

immediately throw down the sails and someone

throws the anchor off the side and the ship

(crunching) comes and slams to a halt as the

anchor clicks and you can feel it grinding for a

bit as it catches the edge of one of– it looks

like a reef below, but the ship eventually stops

as you glance over, there maybe 15 feet away from

hitting the edge of a reef. (grinding sound) It

stops and the water (whistling) slowly comes to

rest as the ship comes to a rest. Looking over the

edge, you can see the water maybe about 20 or so

feet down with what little bit of light the

lanterns have put over, you can see the very top

of various reef cliffs and hints of beach shelf

beginning to rise up towards this cluster of

almost like still fairy lights in the distance,

unmoving. Captain Adella comes up to the edge of

the ship and goes,

“Well, that’s about as far as

we can get with this ship. My apologies.”

MARISHA: No, this is fantastic.

And I run to the edge of the ship and I shoot a

Daylight into the spell and throw a Create Water

and make a rainbow over top of us.

MATT: Wow.

MARISHA: (tch boom) Ooh.

MATT: So with that

(pffff) the spray of vapor in the air of the night

sky, the darkness ahead of you that was

currently– the clouds obscuring any sort of

starlight, suddenly is showered with a spray of

vibrant colors across the entire spectrum,

as the vapor slowly cascades around each side of

the ship. As it does, a few moments pass and you

watch more lights spark open in the distance (puff

puff puff puff puff) whatever the source is,

you begin to get a clearer view and there you can

just barely begin to see the edges of what appear

to be a very, very faint outline of a number of

buildings all springing up from the water itself.

TRAVIS: (quietly) Oh shit.

MATT: The city is not on one of the islands,

the city is in the center of them,

there’s a triangulation of these land masses and

the city itself resides between all three.

SAM: (quietly) Wow.

MATT: Some of the guys in the front of the ship

start taking small rowing boats and

taking them up and latching them in and setting

them off the side into the more shallow waters below.

MARISHA: I run past all of them and just jump

into the water,

not gracefully like before and start

swimming.

MATT: Make a perception check.

(all groan)

LAURA: Oh no.

MARISHA: Perception check?

MATT: Yes.

LAURA: We’re at a reef!

LIAM: Don’t face-plant on a reef!

MARISHA: Fine. Ooh!

TALIESIN: There is now!

LIAM: I’m on a reef.

MARISHA: Oh that’s just a dexterity

check?

MATT: No, perception.

SAM: Perception.

MARISHA: Oh, perception. 28.

MATT: You run to the edge and right as you’re

about to leap, you look and realize

there’s relatively shallow reef in the direction

you’re about to leap,

so you kinda turn and (laughs) go at an angle

instead and (plop) into the water below.

MARISHA: (nervous sounds)

MATT: A second, almost a second after you,

the ship (cracks) hits the water below and they

start throwing down the rope ladder and you guys

are allowed to then step into the rowboat.

LAURA: Broom.

TALIESIN: Carpet?

MATT: You have the broom. Or carpet if you like?

MARISHA: I just start–

TALIESIN: I’m gonna get on the carpet and

offer it to anybody who likes.

MARISHA: Using my cantrips–

TRAVIS: Well, I need the boat 'cause I’m

heavy.

TALIESIN: What about the boat?

SAM: I want to be on the flying carpet,

'cause that’s amazing.

LAURA: Trinket will get in a boat with Grog.

LIAM: What are you doing?

LAURA: No! Trinket’s gonna be in my necklace.

MATT: All right. Trinket goes in the necklace.

LAURA: Yeah, for a minute.

LIAM: Hopping on behind my sister.

MATT: Okay, so your sister, you guys are taking

the carpet–

SAM: Yes!

MATT: – Grog, you’re going in the boat?

TRAVIS: I got my own rowboat.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: With a robot. Robot in the–

SAM: Oh yeah! The robot is–

TRAVIS: No. Dottie is not coming with me.

TALIESIN: Dottie is coming with you.

SAM: Well, he can come on the–

LAURA: No, he can’t. It’s too heavy.

It’s too heavy for the carpet.

TALIESIN: Doty cannot come on the carpet.

MATT: It’s too heavy to go on the carpet.

SAM: I have to stay behind with Doty.

TALIESIN: Yeah well, have fun.

TRAVIS: Yep, see you later.

LAURA: Get him on a boat.

Get on a boat, Tary.

SAM: Is there another rowboat for us?

MATT: They have other rowboats on

the side, you can request another one.

SAM: I would like to request another rowboat

for Doty.

MARISHA: (laughing) A boat for Doty.

MATT: Okay, so as you guys begin making your

way,

roughly five minutes behind you,

as you all are

kinda moving forward together via carpet, flight,

and her swimming, and Grog strongly pushing his

way through, Tary’s just impatiently waiting for

them to get the other boat off the side of the

ship and they’re slowly lowering it down,

kind of the ropes

having to adjust as it goes and you're

like (groans).

(all laugh)

TRAVIS: I see adventure over this way!

Too bad you won’t be there to see it!

SAM: I’m missing it, hurry up!

(all laugh)

MATT: As you guys begin to approach, Keyleth, your

feet eventually hit sand as opposed to treading

water, and as you begin to walk up, the water

comes past your waist,

down to eventually your knees, and that is about

as low as it goes.

MARISHA: As far as it goes, yeah.

MATT: And looking out above you,

you can see this beautiful lagoon that is

completely submerged in about a foot, foot and a

half of water for a good mile in all directions.

And you can see dozens and dozens of these

Grecian looking white and green marble structures

that rise up out of the water. You can see a

series of poles that stand up holding these

lanterns that have all been magically set alight

to give the city a sort of a glow. You see shapes

moving, you see figures shifting out of these

buildings and making their way in your direction,

and as you’re looking at this space in front of

you and you guys begin to kind of meet up,

you watch as a figure (whoosh) out of the water

next to Keyleth. You glance to your left and look

down and you see what appears to be a child,

maybe about 13 years old, human-like, though his

ears come to a bit of a finned appearance.

You can see what looks to be gill slits to the

side of the neck, and he looks up at you with kind

of a tattered, long-stiffened piece of cloth tunic

and shorts that end at the knee,and he kinda looks

up at you and just kinda smiles with these very,

very bright, orange-ish yellow eyes,

“Hi.”

MARISHA: Kaitiaki. And I drop to my knees

and drop down and–

MATT: (sploosh) You go face-down into the

water.

MARISHA: Gah! (heavy breathing)

MATT: Get up and (groans) push the water–

the hair back a bit.

MARISHA: And bow again.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: Okay. “Um… what are you doing?”

MARISHA: Sorry, are you the

leader– are you the headmaster?

MATT: “Yes. Yes, I am.”

MARISHA: Oh! Hi. Uh, Keyleth.

MATT: “Keyleth. ” And he reaches out and

grabs your hand. “Yulan.”

MARISHA: Yulan!

MATT: “Leader of the Water Ashari.”

SAM: (laughs)

MARISHA: I am Keyleth, daughter of Vilya

and Korren of the Air Ashari,

and I am here to complete my Aramente.

And I bow again, under the water.

MATT: (splash) Into the water again.

MARISHA: (gasps)

MATT: He shakes his head, you can see now

he has these tossed medium-length dreadlocks that

shake with his head as he turns side to side,

(laughs) He looks up at the rest of you,

“So! She yours?”

LAURA: Mm. Mm-hm.

TALIESIN: More or less.

MATT: “You bad people?”

LAURA: Uh-uh.

TALIESIN: Nah.

TRAVIS: Not today.

SAM: We’re just rowing up. What’d I miss?! Start

over, start over! (pants)

MATT: “Is he a bad person?”

LAURA: Nah.

LIAM: Nah. He’s all right.

TALIESIN: He’s workable.

MATT: “Okay. Well, come with me.” And he reaches

out and taps you on the shoulder, Keyleth.

MARISHA: (gasp) It’s just such an honor.

MATT: Come on.

LAURA: Keyleth!

MARISHA: What?

MATT: He grabs your hand and pulls you up out of

the water, and starts running in towards the city,

holding you behind him. Just kinda tugging you by

the hand.

LAURA: Oh, he has legs?

MATT: He does have legs.

LAURA: Man!

TALIESIN: And he does know how to use them.

TRAVIS: Keyleth!

SAM: (laughs)

MATT: Splash, splash, splash splash splash

splash…

TRAVIS: Be cooler.

MARISHA: Cooler. Cooler. (blows) And I let a

little frost go from my breath.

MATT: (blows) Okay. Splash, splash, splash splash

splash splash splash. He’s just running through

the water. You can see a number of people have now

stepped out of the buildings as you guys approach.

And each one of them– all of their clothing ends

at the knee. You can see that this entire society

walks through and lives partially submerged.

There is an ever-present water element to their

day to day life.

LAURA: They must have the pruniest feet!

MARISHA: – feet.

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: I know, right?

LIAM and MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: That was amazing.

I would live there in a second!

TALIESIN: How did that happen just now? How did

you just go there?

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: The sand is soft and still strangely warm

beneath your feet, though the night has come.

And even through the distant sparkles of light

everywhere, this city–

a lot of the buildings seem hollow and open,

like what walls that there are, there’s large

windows. It seems like everything has this very

kind of open-air, free lifestyle to it.

And as you begin to approach–

MARISHA: As he’s dragging me, I just start, like,

rambling all the questions at once. I’m like,

Aren’t– This is such a gorgeous city you have.

Are you freshwater or saltwater? Do you have

webbed feet? Does everyone have webbed feet? How

many people can control water? Wow, look at that.

Look at those. Is this fire that you use? Or is

it all arcane?

MATT: He’s not answering any of your questions,

and you hear a voice shout out: “Yulan!”

MARISHA: (gasps)

MATT: And the boy kinda stops and drops your hand

and backs away with his hands kinda crossed behind

his back, and he steps away, bowing his head a

little bit and (splashing noise) away. The crowd–

and you can now see, all these different people,

most of them appear to be human, elven,

there are a handful of dwarves, a couple

halflings, it’s a spread of races here. You see

two half-orcs that have these large tridents off

to the side, and they’re guarded but they’re all

deciding whether or not this is a welcoming

circumstance, or a careful parlay. The voice that

rang out, the crowd parts a little bit, and you

watch as the water around you guys begins to

spiral into these columns. Each one appears to be

similar to the entity you saw rise onto the ship.

A series of water elementals begin to rise out of

the water, as some of the individuals in the crowd

pull their hands together, and then you see four

of them rise and begin to circle. Not closing in,

but just keeping very close vigil around.

And you realize at this point that, while the

city is welcoming, they are also a carefully

guarded people. The crowd parts, and you see

stepping out, with the tiniest of splashes,

a very tiny woman. Old, shriveled, most of her

hair is gone and these thin wisps of white and

gray, a wide oval-like head, the skin itself an

olive yellow tint. Very wrinkled and pruny,

the eyes are almost these tiny little black

beads. Gnome, very old, with a long staff that’s

twice her height that just kinda with each step

(squishing splash) kinda like a weird female Water

Ashari Yoda.

And just kinda steps forward through the water–

MARISHA: Rad!

MATT: “Yulan, you are not to greet our guests! Now,

you. What is your name?”

MARISHA: Hi. (clears throat) Kaitiaki, I am

Keyleth, daughter of Vilya and Korren of the Air

Ashari, and I am here to complete my Aramente.

I am–

MATT: “Kaitiaki.”

MARISHA: Kaitiaki. I am honored to be in your

presence.

MATT: “I am Uvenda, Heart of the Tides here.

I had my own Aramente, long ago. And I knew your

"mother who came for her Aramente, as well.”

MARISHA: You knew my mother?

MATT: “She came here for her own Aramente.

"And now you come to complete what she could not.

So–”

MARISHA: I’m– I’m–

MATT: “– you are welcome, Keyleth of the

Zephra.”

MARISHA: I’m sorry. I’m– sorry, that just means

she visited the Earth, and the Fire, and the Water

Ashari. She completed her Aramente.

MATT: “She did not, child.”

MARISHA: What hap– She– I– Everywhere I’ve

been, she’s been. Why not?

MATT: “Come. Come. We shall speak, there is much

to discuss, and it is growing cold out here,

"and you could probably all use a warm fire.

So? See to our guests!” And the folks around go

from their tense reverie and begin to approach and

take, like just instinctually taking your

belongings, and helping you unload. You guys

(laughs) withdraw, and they back off as soon as

they realize that wasn’t part of the circumstance.

But you are led deeper into this city, and there

is a central temple that has multi-layers.

Three floors with a number of spiral staircases

on the outside of the structure that lead to it.

Each floor is still very open and you get the

sense that this whole city is built around the

flow of ocean air and sea spray. And there is

almost like a constant breeze that just blows

through. And a lot of the buildings are rounded at

the edges. The heavy waves and water that just

come through here has– you can see rounded and

brought curvature to all the structures for as

long as the city’s been around. There are elements

of shell-type shapes, there are bits of ocean

inspiration to the architecture, it’s a very

interesting, alien, and beautiful place compared

to where you’ve been before. You’re led into this

temple structure in the center of this city,

you’re brought to a series of what look almost

like tree stumps, but they’re made of a bright,

bleached white, almost spongy material.

And as you sit on them, food is brought to you,

fish, fresh cooked platters. You guys are now

being treated like honored guests, as you arrive.

As you sit down, Keyleth, Uvenda, has a servant

bring a much taller sponged stool than the ones

you guys have, and it’s set in front of you,

and she uses her staff and (grunts) pole-vaults

on top of it, and sits, crosses her legs,

and sets the staff off to somebody and kinda

leans down with her hands in front, her chin

resting on them, her little beady gnomish eyes

looking down at you.

“So, Keyleth, the Aramente is not easy.”

MARISHA: I know.

MATT: “Do you know what this leg of your journey

entails?”

MARISHA: I mean, I’ve made it this far. In my

heart, I feel like I’m almost complete, but I feel

like you’re about to tell me something different.

MATT: “You are near the completion of the

Aramente, this is true, and through this,

"you will learn the strength of utilizing your own

capabilities and those of your trusted allies.

"You will learn various ways of looking at the

difficulties and challenges that are before you.

"And there are lessons as part of this, so listen

carefully. For the final leg of your Aramente,

"we will wait 'til the morning sun comes to these

waters,

"you and your compatriots will be brought down

below the waves, below this city, to the Aerie of

"Torrent, where the Vesrah rift resides to the

Water Elemental Plane. The Aerie is where we

"implant the lodestones that keep the village from

sinking, and the rift size contained. The

"lodestones, unfortunately, do wane in power over

time, so we must occasionally cross into the rift,

"and have our fastest Waverunners recover

replacements within the Elemental Plane.

"The source of the lodestones, in which we

have built and maintained this city. But

"the once-challenging path to these lodestones has

now become deadly for all but our swiftest.”

MARISHA: Why?

MATT: “We would find these stones sparsely

scattered throughout the plane, just beyond the

"rift, leaving us uncertain of their origin for as

long as we’ve been here. For generations,

"they would just fall and sink to the bottom,

or we’d scavenge them from the silt and sand

"below. However, this last generation of

Waverunners have discovered them to be a product.

"Natural waste of a particular creature that

resides within the boundless oceans of the plane.

"An ancient beast, once guided upon creation by

the Titans that claimed this world their own

"before the gods came and gave light to our

souls.”

MARISHA: What’s it called?

MATT: “They are known in many languages,

by many names,

"but the common tongue knows to them as

the krakens.”

LAURA: (yells)

MARISHA: (yells)

SAM: (scared panting)

TRAVIS: (excited hyperventilation)

MATT: “Humongous, tentacled beasts, long free of

their servitude from their creators. One of these

"such krakens has taken to the waters near the

rift, and made it its home on the other side.

"And this beast appears to have been producing the

lodestones that we relied on for ages. This

"research, and information they’ve gathered,

however, garnished the attention of this terrible

"fiend, and was accidentally led directly to the

rift where it now nests, and feeds on the other

"creatures naturally drawn to the energy of the

tear between the worlds. We now use the lodestones

"and our powers not only to control the merging of

the planes at the rift, but to also prevent this

"monstrosity from crossing over into our world and

tearing our city asunder. Your task–”

MARISHA: So–

MATT: She puts a finger out to stop you.

“–would be to descend into this Aerie of

"Torrent, enter the rift, and recover three of

these lodestones, and return to us. That is all.

"Avoid the beast if possible, for to battle it is

folly, and to kill it is to sink our city,

"and curse the rift, to eventually fade.”

MARISHA: So, don’t kill it?

LAURA: Do. Not. Kill. Got it.

MARISHA: Don’t kill the kraken. Right? Don’t kill

the kraken?

TRAVIS: No, kill the kraken.

LAURA: (laughs)

LIAM: Get kraken.

SAM: We can reason with it.

MARISHA: Get three lodestones, bring it back,

don’t kill him because he is responsible for you

guys not sinking into the ocean.

LAURA: Because he makes the lodestones.

SAM: With his poop?

LIAM: Poopstones.

MARISHA: He makes the lodestones–

LAURA: Basically.

SAM: Poops lodestones.

MARISHA: – with his droppings?

MATT: “Essentially, yes.”

(all laugh)

MARISHA: All right.

MATT: “To use such base terms.”

MARISHA: All right. So he drops these lodestones

at the base of the water plane.

MATT: “Yes. Often found within the vicinity of the

rift, but such is the beast. Be quick, be careful,

"be stealthy, and return as soon as you have

them.”

MARISHA: Do you have an example of these

lodestones

so that we know what we’re looking

for?

MATT: “We will show you at the Aerie tomorrow in

the morning.”

MARISHA: All right. So this starts in the morn–

Which is exactly what you said.

You totally said that, didn’t you?

MATT: “Yes. Yes, I have.”

MARISHA: All right.

LAURA: Is there something that helps those of us

who don’t breathe underwater breathe underwater?

MARISHA: I can handle that.

LAURA: Yes?

MARISHA: I can handle that. So. What happened to

my mother?

MATT: She swallows strongly. “Your mother was a

brave woman, very much like you, now that I see

"you before me. Unsure of herself, and wishing to

please, and not disappoint. And it’s hard to

"ascertain but I fear it’s perhaps that lack of

confidence that may have caused her failure.”

MARISHA: Did she not make it out? Of the water

plane?

MATT: “She brought her own companions, that she

had found and brought with her along her path.

"Our guides brought her to the rift, and her

companions did not survive. Your mother did not

"return, and we sent scouts to try and retrieve her

body so she could be interred correctly,

"but we only found a leg.”

MARISHA: She’s still alive. That means she’s still

alive.

MATT: “Hold onto that hope. Use it, and finish

what she started. She lives through you at the

"very least. Hold that memory.”

MARISHA: I will hold on to it, but I hope you know

that does not define me. I’m not her.

MATT: “Good. Then perhaps you have a chance.”

MARISHA: We’ll complete your task. Thank you.

MATT: “You’ve come far, young Keyleth. I have

faith that you will rise, and become the Voice of

"the Tempest. For now, we rest. Eat. Sleep.

For tomorrow, you face the pet of the Titans.”

And that’s where we’ll leave tonight’s session.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

SAM: (scared panting)

TRAVIS: We’re gonna kill a kraken!

MARISHA, LIAM, and LAURA: No!

MARISHA: Kill a kraken!

SAM: No, don’t kill a kraken.

MARISHA: Right, we’re not gonna kill a kraken.

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: We are going to not kill it.

TALIESIN: We are going to irritate a kraken.

LAURA: We are going to–

TALIESIN: We are going to make it–

TRAVIS: Holy shit!

LAURA: – We’re going to steal some kraken’s

poop.

TRAVIS: I have no idea what that means.

MARISHA: We’re gonna collect kraken droppings.

TRAVIS: I don’t know what a kraken is like in

D&D, but I’m fucking stoked to find out.

TALIESIN: We’re gonna bring a bottle of Kraken.

MARISHA: We’re gonna bring a bottle of Kraken.

LAURA: (laughs)

MARISHA: Oh, I’m so gonna bring a bottle of Kraken

next game!

MATT: Yeah!

LAURA: (excited shouting)

TALIESIN: You know what else we’re gonna do? We’re

not gonna finish it.

MARISHA: We’re not gonna finish it.

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Yeah, we’re not gonna finish it.

MARISHA: That’s game, we do not finish it.

MATT: That’s kind of perfect.

LAURA: We’re gonna drink most of it.

LIAM: (chuckles)

TALIESIN: We’re gonna drink most of it, but we’re

not gonna kill the kraken.

MARISHA: Except for like one-fourth of it.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN. Don’t. 'Cause we don’t kill the kraken.

MARISHA: We let it live.

LIAM: We’re gonna give that thing some maylox.

(proot fart sound)

TALIESIN: Don’t kill the kraken.

TRAVIS: Nice job, Matt!

MATT: Nice job, you guys.

TRAVIS: Nice C!

TALIESIN: Good game. Good game.

LAURA: C!

MATT: All right. We’ll bring this up next week on

Thursday for the last leg of Keyleth’s Aramente–

SAM: Hey.

MATT: – as the party might face a kraken!

LAURA: Oh my goodness!

MATT: That’ll be interesting.

LIAM: One of 17.

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Yo momma is the kraken.

MARISHA: That’s what I’m most afraid of!

LAURA: Oh my god!

MARISHA: I’ve already thought about it.

TALIESIN: Long John Silver!

TRAVIS: Wow. No, no, no, no.

MARISHA: That she’s the full Long John Silver.

TALIESIN: She’s gonna go pirate, she’s gonna have

a patch and a beard–

MARISHA: And a peg leg!

TALIESIN: – and a peg leg.

MARISHA: She totally has a peg leg.

LAURA: Ew.

TALIESIN: And like a little cuttlefish instead of

a instead of a parrot.

MARISHA: (gasps)

LAURA: Rad!

MARISHA: My mom’s a pirate!

LAURA: Definitely.

LIAM: (singing)

TALIESIN: (joins singing)

MARISHA: (joins singing)

SAM: That is not the key at all.

TRAVIS: Oh god, get us out of here.

TALIESIN: No.

MATT: All righty, guys.

(all laugh)

MATT: We’ll pick up next week on Thursday.

(laughs) Thank you so much for watching.

Thank you again, Tor Books, for sponsoring.

SAM: (incoherent background noise) Tor Books,

toy boats, Tor Books.

LIAM: Tor Books.

MATT: Wyrmwood for being awesome. We’re gonna go

ahead and rest. Oh, I forgot to mention.

I will be on the Rollplay live anniversary game

on Saturday. I’m actually flying up to Canada to

go play with them in person. So–

(all cheer)

MATT: I’m gonna be jumping in for one episode of

the Swan Song series.

TRAVIS: Are you gonna play?

MATT: That will be fun. Yeah! I get to play!

SAM and LIAM: In Canada?

MATT: Up in Canada, yeah.

SAM: Each d20 is actually worth 22 up there.

(all laugh)

TALIESIN: Is that where you have to roll

backwards?

SAM: Yeah.

TALIESIN: You roll backwards there?

MATT: Yeah, that’s how it works.

MARISHA: And, as always, don’t forget to watch

Talks Machina on Tuesday–

LAURA: On Tuesday!

MATT: With Brian.

MARISHA: With Brian Foster!

MATT: That will be fun.

MARISHA: At 7pm.

LIAM: Matt’s always talking about his campaign up

in Canada, I’m not sure if it’s real or not.

(all laugh)

MARISHA: What are you talking about, guys?

MATT: It is real!

MARISHA: This is fine.

MATT: It’s real!

LAURA: Totally real.

MARISHA: This is great!

MATT: Anyway. Have a wonderful night, guys.

Rest well. Laura, get up early.

LAURA: I know!

MATT: I’m sorry. Is it Thursday yet?