Transcript:Frigid Propositions

Pre-show
MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

ALL: (hollering discordantly) We play Dungeons & Dragons!

MATT: Like that. Before we get into our session tonight, we do have some announcements to get through, beginning with the first of our two sponsors this evening, Hit Point Press! Sam.

SAM: What's up, BTS fans? That's right. Sam Riegel, number one Army at the table, here to drop that Bangtan Bomb on you! Let's get #BTSCR trending!

MATT: Sam, I said Hit Point Press, not BTS.

SAM: I know, Matt, and I don't care. See, when you're an OG Army like me, BTS is all you can think of erryday. My bias is OT7, but I love them all. You got RM, you got Jin, you got Suga AKA Agust D, J-Hope, Jimin, Vee, and the Golden Maknae, Jungkook. J-Hope, Jimin, Vee, and the Golden Maknae, Jungkook.

MATT: I, uh. I don't doubt your devotion to the popular K-pop band, BTS, Sam, but you're supposed to talk about Hit Point Press, our sponsor for tonight, and their latest campaign setting, known as Heckna, and how it's live on Kickstarter. That's the purpose of this. Heckna's inspired by 80's movies and cosmic horror, and this new carnival setting called Revelia, where the carnival's overseen by the ring leader, Heckna. It's all about frightening and delighting the carnival goers.

SAM: Frightening and delighting fans, that sounds like seven boys who shine through the city with a little funk and soul and light it up like dynamite! I'm talking about my Bulletproof Boy Scouts, woo woo!

MATT: No, no, it's not BTS, it's our sponsors, Hit Point Press, actually. They wanted you to know everything you need to get started in Revelia is included: stat blocks for new creatures, magical items. All tiers come with a deluxe print and PDF, it's actually really cool. The book and box set are 20% off right now at bit.ly/crheckna, and thank you so much for your support.

SAM: And remember what Hit Point Press always says: The reason we shine is because you give us the light.

MATT: Sam, does Hit Point Press actually--

SAM: No, Matt, that was a quote from Jungkook from BTS! I know I'm a couple days late, but happy 23rd birthday, Jungkook! I purple you! #BTSCR forever. Back to you, Matt.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: Okay, thanks, Sam--

LAURA: Is that why your hair is that color? Did you do it lighter because of that?

SAM: Maybe. Because I'm a huge BTS fan, and not because I just wanted an excuse for Matt to read the ad for me.

TRAVIS: I don't even know half of what you said.

SAM: I promise you that the Army is going to get online and make that hashtag shine.

LAURA: No, but seriously, Dynamite is a really good song.

MATT: BTS is actually really good. Anyway, thank you, Hit Point Press. Hit Point Press.

MARISHA: Is that what you were listening to whenever--

SAM: I was rocking out to it in the car when Marisha pulled up.

MARISHA: I rolled down my window, and I was like, "Yeah!"

MATT: He's good at irony, mostly.

MARISHA: Yeah, it was great.

MATT: Not so much with him. So anyway, our second sponsor tonight, our friends since the beginning of the Campaign 2, D&D Beyond.

TRAVIS: ♪ D&D Beyond! ♪

MATT: This is the last week to pre-order Icewind Dale: Rime of the Frostmaiden, on D&D Beyond, and unlock special pre-order perks like the glacial ice dice set, the digital dice set you can use there, 13 character sheet backdrops, five colored character themes and 11 portrait frames, including the animated Aurora, ooh! You can pre-order today at dndbeyond.link/icewind, and thank you guys for your support. We have a few more announcements to get through. The first up I have after that is for Brian, Brian, for Brian.

BRIAN: Yes.

ASHLEY: Whoa.

SAM: What?

BRIAN: Pardon me, you beautiful yet dangerous woman, while I make this announcement.

TRAVIS: Look at that hair.

BRIAN: Thank you, Travis. It's true, what many of you have heard, especially from Marisha.

ASHLEY: Come in a little more.

BRIAN: Critical Role's flagship show is coming back.

ASHLEY: "Flagship show."

BRIAN: It says it right here! Critical Role's flagship show, it says right here, is coming back to the internet this Tuesday.

ASHLEY: To the internet?

BRIAN: It's Talks Machina, it's back this Tuesday. The internet is where it's always been. And it's going to air every other week. It's a new format, it's going to air every other week, it's going to be pre-recorded, and we're going to be discussing events that have happened all the way from when you guys came back from the hiatus all the way up until this very moment and this very episode.

TRAVIS: Sell me a jet ski or something.

BRIAN: That you're watching right now, what?

LIAM: Sell you something off the back of a motorboat?

LAURA: What's that kid from Stranger Things with the really big hair?

TRAVIS: Really dope hair?

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

BRIAN: Yeah, he wishes it's still going to be this thick when he's 46, like me.

MATT: Kind of reminded me of the Bill Paxton character in True Lies that Arnold just decks out.

ASHLEY: Oh, yes!

BRIAN: I do pee myself when I'm scared.

MATT: That's what it was, that's what it was.

BRIAN: Hey gang, but also, there's more info here for me to-- (laughter) Because we're going to be taping Talks Machina before anyone has seen, even you, the episodes of Critical Role, the questions are going to be from Dani and myself and our production team, but we will still have our fan art and cosplay. Join us this Tuesday, September 15th, 7:00pm Pacific on Twitch, or catch the VOD on YouTube. I know I'm killing it. On Thursday, she's looking at me like this is the most amazing thing she's ever seen, I like it. Or catch the VOD on YouTube on Thursday, September 17th. And on the Critical Role Podcast Network. It's also the flagship show for the podcast network, one week later. That's my time.

TRAVIS: Yeah! (cheering)

LIAM: He's back, he's back!

MARISHA: He's back, oh no!

ASHLEY: Flagship show.

TRAVIS: Don't worry, Laura looks at me like that when I get that close to her, too.

LAURA: Bye, cabbage man.

MATT: Thank you.

MARISHA: Get back in your cage now, Brian, thank you.

BRIAN: Bye, love you!

TRAVIS: Just lock yourself in, it's okay.

MATT: Thank you, Brian, and I believe--

BRIAN: Thank you, Matt!

MATT: Oh, aw. Laura, I believe you have some things to talk about, too.

LAURA: I did, I did! So our friends at Wyrmwood, dun dun dun, have a Critical Role dice vault, and a Critical Role tabletop vault now available, and I'm going to show them to you.

SAM: Wait, really?

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. They have it in cherry wood, ooh, with the CR engraving on it.

SAM: Cool!

LAURA: Or in-- am I saying this right? In Bavarian, nope, Bolivian rosewood.

TRAVIS: Bavarian, yep.

LAURA: Ooh, with a brass CR engraving. I'm going to hold up--

TRAVIS: You have to smell it.

LAURA: I'm going to hold up the vault, though, because you can see it better on the vault. (clamoring)

SAM: Smell it, yes.

LAURA: It smells like wood. Mm, so yeah, check it out, it's on their website, wyrmwoodgaming.com, available now.

MARISHA: Huzzah.

LAURA: Huzzah.

TRAVIS: That's really slick.

LAURA: Yeah, and then, in addition to that, the thousand piece puzzle by our friends at The Op are now available in the UK and the Australian shop, so check it out.

MARISHA: Yes.

TRAVIS: So dope.

ASHLEY: Yeah!

MATT: Thank you, Laura.

LAURA: You're welcome.

MATT: All righty, I believe with that said, our announcements are finished. Let's go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role. (exclaiming) (grunting)

(water bubbling) (thunder rumbling) (explosion blasting) ♪ Role ♪ ♪ Critical Role ♪ ♪ Critical Role ♪ ♪ Critical Role ♪ ♪ Critical Role ♪ ♪ Mighty Nein ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪ ♪ The adventure begins ♪ ♪ They were always beside you ♪ ♪ Your nerdy best friends ♪ ♪ And the DM to guide you ♪ ♪ And they rise from the flames ♪ ♪ For the battles ahead ♪ ♪ Villains beware 'cause you're 'bout to be dead ♪ (dramatic music) ♪ They got magic and flair ♪ ♪ They got falchions and cunning ♪ ♪ They don't see over there ♪ ♪ There's a monster incoming ♪ ♪ Inspiration is waiting ♪ ♪ Rise up, don't think twice ♪ ♪ Put your fate in your hands ♪ ♪ Take a chance, roll the dice ♪ ♪ Role ♪ ♪ Critical Role (roll the dice) ♪ ♪ Critical Role (roll the dice) ♪ ♪ Critical Role (roll the dice) ♪ ♪ Ooh, ah ♪ ♪ Can you answer the call? ♪ ♪ Dig in deep in your soul ♪ ♪ As the legend unfolds ♪ ♪ Now it's your turn, (your turn, your turn) ♪ ♪ To roll ♪ (fire burning) (dragon roaring)

Part I
MATT: And welcome back. So, last we left off: The Mighty Nein had done their preparation for the coming event of Traveler Con.

LAURA: So much preparation.

MATT: So much preparation.

ASHLEY: So much prep.

MATT: With the help of the remaining villagers of Vo, that decided to stay behind and keep the island to themselves. You managed to create an entirely inspiring event You managed to create an entirely inspiring event for the visiting Traveler worshipers, that included all manner of things, like the gracious dick hunt, a glorious performance on stage by our wonderful Yasha, and other performers, but mainly just Yasha. There was a fight ring, apparently. The golden dick was found and permanently affixed to the hand of Celia.

LIAM: Yeah, permanently.

ASHLEY: ♪ I've got a golden dick-et. ♪

MATT: And culminated with a climb towards the cusp of Rumblecusp. Looking down into the caldera of the volcano, there it was revealed that the Traveler was, technically not, but really actually is still the Traveler, but told them that he was the Moon Weaver and took the form of the Moon Weaver, and apparently drew the wrath of the Moon Weaver, and in a harsh lesson to bring him down a peg, the people were disillusioned by the Traveler, but nevertheless, seemingly brought somewhat into the graces of Sehanine herself, and it seemed to be a success. After which, you said your goodbyes, you helped take the ships that were within the confines of the Heaven Falls outside, for those who needed to do them, to take them, to retrieve, and go back home with, and you gave the Eden's Horizon to the remaining crew of the now sunken Balleater, and renamed it into-- is it-- Nein Heroez. Afterward, you went ahead and made your way to Nicodranas, but Ashley, you said there was something you wanted to do before you guys--

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: We forgot last time.

ASHLEY: I would love to get a tattoo before Orly leaves.

MATT: Oh right, because you don't have one.

ASHLEY: No.

MATT: Right, okay. So before you left for Nicodranas.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: Stopping Orly for a brief bit, he excitedly comes to you as you approach, he's like, "Mm, how can I help you?"

ASHLEY: I was wondering if I could get a tattoo, maybe something that would start here and then sort of make its way down my arm.

MATT: "Mm-hm, that can definitely be done."

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: "What sort of i-m-m-mage are you thinking?"

MATT: "What sort of i-m-m-mage are you thinking?"

ASHLEY: I'm thinking... I'm thinking... Runes. I'm thinking I would like to spell out in runes Orphan Maker.

MATT: "Mm, very well. Now what m-m-material are you looking to imbue?"

ASHLEY: Maybe, like, a emerald?

MATT: "Well, if you got the dust, you gonna let me know." Do you guys have enough emeralds for this?

SAM: What does emerald do?

ASHLEY: Because I think emerald is--

MATT: Emerald is the bonus to dexterity.

ASHLEY: Yes, okay.

LAURA: Hold on, let me look, let me look.

TRAVIS: That's-- you're an odd?

LAURA: Oh, we got a big emerald.

SAM: Oh, we got that big emerald from--

LAURA: We got that big emerald.

ASHLEY: We can't use that.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we can.

LAURA: We got a bag-o-gems worth a lot of money that I can dig out a bunch of emeralds from.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: Okay, do you know how much-- Did I tell you how much the larger emerald was worth?

LAURA: The large emerald you said was worth 250 gold.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: And then the bag of gems, I think the total worth, now, is around 2,000.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

SAM: How much emerald does she need?

ASHLEY: How much do you--

MATT: 2,200 gold worth.

SAM: Ooh, of pure emerald. Oh boy.

LAURA: I bet we have some more.

SAM: Let me look.

MARISHA: Can the wizard do some sort of transmute-y thingy?

LAURA: Can you turn some of the gems into emeralds?

TRAVIS: Yeah, make us emerald rich!

SAM: Wait, I've got residuum. Does that help?

MATT: Residuum could take the place of some of that, yeah.

SAM: Okay, okay.

LAURA: How much emerald dust would you say we can make from our bag-o-gems and the big emerald?

MATT: I'll say, with the bag...

LAURA: Like 1,500?

MATT: I'd say a little over half, so like 1,200 from the bag, and then you have the other ruby, so 1,450 between the two of those, so you're-- need about 750.

SAM: I have 700 gold of residuum.

MARISHA: Shit.

TRAVIS: So we're only 1,200.

MARISHA: 50 gold away.

LAURA: No, we're only 50 gold away.

MATT: 50 gold away from the amount.

SAM: Does anyone have an emerald?

TALIESIN: I have some residuum you gave me.

SAM: Oh, you never used it.

LAURA: Oh yeah, we didn't use our residuum.

SAM: I gave you a hundred, I think--

TALIESIN: Yeah, you did.

SAM: -- and I kept the other seven.

ASHLEY: Using all of this for my tattoo.

TRAVIS: Yeah, come on!

MARISHA: Dude, this shit is worth it.

TRAVIS: We are all going to the parlor with you, yes.

SAM: Is it a bad-- just-- (Veth voice) I love you. Is it a bad idea give away this residuum, like if we need it for reviving someone or something?

TRAVIS: That's what diamonds are for, right?

SAM: Sure, sure.

LAURA: Well, yeah.

SAM: But, you know, if we run out of diamonds.

ASHLEY: Then you have the--

TALIESIN: We'll have to buy some more diamonds at some point.

LAURA: We'll buy some stuff in Nicodranas.

MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: Yeah, it's fine, right?

MARISHA: Get a tattoo!

ASHLEY: Yeah, but isn't residuum very hard to come by?

SAM: I don't know, we just found it in a bag.

TRAVIS: I'm sure you could just pull it out of the earth somewhere, yeah. It's a mineral, like anything else.

TALIESIN: I'm into this, personally.

SAM: We have no idea.

MARISHA: Do it.

ASHLEY: Does anybody else want to get a tattoo, or...?

LAURA: Maybe I wrote it down wrong. Maybe the big emerald was 2,500 gold.

TRAVIS: For another 2,200, no. This is a party fund.

LAURA: What do you think, Matt? You think maybe I wrote it down wrong?

MARISHA: And you just left an 0 off.

LAURA: It was a pretty big emerald we found, wasn't it? I mean, it was legendary.

LIAM: 'Sup, Vex.

LAURA: This emerald. I'm just trying to make this tattoo happen for our friend.

MATT: I understand. Well, it seems like you guys have the means of doing some.

SAM: We got the residuum. We got this.

TALIESIN: Pretty cool.

TRAVIS: Can we trade Orly some drugs, like a really cool tattoo parlor?

MARISHA: I do have a lot of suude.

ASHLEY: What color is the residuum?

MARISHA: But it's about the materials.

SAM: It's green.

TALIESIN: Green.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Green?

SAM: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Oh!

SAM: So you'll have, like, two shades of green in there. It's kind of awesome.

ASHLEY: That's going to be cool.

MARISHA: Fire the cannons!

SAM: Yeah, let's do it.

MATT: (as Orly) "You all ready?"

ASHLEY: Yeah, I'm ready.

MATT: "Sit on down."

ASHLEY: Okay, okay.

SAM: Do you need any whiskey to numb the pain?

ASHLEY: Nah.

SAM: Whoa!

MATT: "That a girl."

ASHLEY: Just straight.

MATT: And he gets out his tattooing device and begins to take the gems and grind them into the proper dust, and prepare himself with the inks and the materials that were given by you and your friends. And slowly, in this final bit of time that you have here on Rumblecusp, as you guys are putting your affairs in order, he begins to complete this tattoo, all along the side, down your neck and across the shoulder, to as far down the arm as you'd like in whatever type of design you would like. So you guide him as he goes, and give what the inspiration is for the different shapes around the runes of Orphan Maker, if there's anything specific to that you'd like to embellish on, he imparts it within your skin.

ASHLEY: I think maybe some vines with some flowers weaving through the runes and sort of all the way down.

LAURA: Whoa!

ASHLEY: To the--

MATT: To the tip of the finger?

ASHLEY: To the, yeah.

MATT: I like it. Okay, all right.

LAURA: That's dope.

MATT: That's pretty cool. Yeah, easily enough done. It takes a number of hours, but he does so, and it's a painful experience for any person who isn't as used to embracing pain as you are. Stoically, you just take it without a change in expression, and as it comes to a completion, the spiking numb pain down the body from just the needle tickle across the skin, you look over the art and... it's been a long time since you've allowed yourself to be a canvas for beauty. And it feels nice.

ASHLEY: This is beautiful, Orly.

MATT: "Well, I don't mean to brag, but I had a lot of time to myself on the shore, just waiting, so I like to sketch."

ASHLEY: I quite like it.

MATT: "Well, one of my finest work."

ASHLEY: Thank you.

MATT: "Least I can do for my crew. Anyway, best we start getting our folks together and m-m-make our way back." So that is a permanent plus one to your dexterity.

ALL: Yay!

SAM: Are you-- you're maxed out now. You're a 20.

ASHLEY: 20 across the board. (laughter)

MATT: Whoa!

ASHLEY: Let me add this in.

TALIESIN: Got to do the button.

MATT: And so, as that's being done, then we come to where we ended last episode, with you guys making the jaunt towards the Tide Peak Tower in Nicodranas, your brief discussion with Yussa, within his tower, letting him know of some of your concerns and imploring him to look into what information he may have on the Eyes of Nine, and this vision you had while you then, exiting his tower, make your way into the familiar and welcoming streets of Nicodranas, mid-day. So, Mighty Nein, what would you like to do?

LIAM: Feels good to be in civilization again.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Beautiful here.

TRAVIS: It is strange, though, to see all these faces just going about their business. Sort of blithely unaware of the islands that are just out there, full of crazy shit.

TALIESIN: This is quite a change. Do we want to make sure we have somewhere to sleep tonight?

LAURA: We always have somewhere to sleep in Nicodranas.

TALIESIN: Fair. Want to shop? Do we want to find people?

LAURA: We have lots of money; we could buy so much. We could make beautiful dresses for horses again, it was a good way to spend money last time.

TRAVIS: We made dresses for horses?

LAURA: No, I did.

TRAVIS: Oh.

LAURA: They're very expensive.

TALIESIN: The horses have dresses now?

LAURA: Well, yes.

TALIESIN: I feel like I missed that.

TRAVIS: I do, too.

LAURA: I did that before.

TALIESIN: Oh.

LAURA: On my own.

TALIESIN: I feel like that's the sort of thing I would've noticed.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

ASHLEY: What did they look like?

LAURA: Very frilly, like, petticoats, everything. I had a carriage when I first left here, and it was the most glamorous carriage you could ever imagine, and I had horses with dresses that took me around.

ASHLEY: My goodness.

LAURA: I know! It was a dumb purchase, but I think worth it, at the time.

TALIESIN: Does the dress stop around the midsection, or does it make it down all four legs?

TRAVIS: Okay, remind me of our plan. We will stop by to see your mother for a bit, and then are we going straight to Zadash, or one of the Cobalt Reserve locations?

SAM: We were going to do some research on stuff, on Nine Eyes, right?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

SAM: But also with a mind towards heading towards the baddies, the Rexxentrums.

LIAM: We were going to check in with Jester's mother, with your family--

SAM: Of course.

LIAM: With the libraries at home, and then maybe see about picking up a little extra work.

SAM: Extra work?

LIAM: In the Assembly, yeah.

SAM: Does not pay very much.

LIAM: No, that's what I hear. (laughter)

SAM: But you know, you get points.

MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: Get free food, free craft service.

TALIESIN: I do okay, I have a unique look. (laughter)

SAM: Oh, you play thugs and stuff? (laughter)

TALIESIN: Not a lot of firbolgs. (laughter) Dumbest joke.

MATT: That's pretty dumb.

TALIESIN: So where are we going after this, then?

LIAM: Well, maybe we're getting ahead of ourselves. I do need to go shopping. I am highly in need of high quality--

LAURA: Paper.

LIAM: -- paper and ink. (laughter)

LIAM: It has been a while since I've been anywhere near a storefront or a bookstore, so.

SAM: (like Caleb) ♪ It's been a while ♪

LIAM: ♪ It has been a while. ♪ (laughter)

LIAM: And I'm sure we could restock up on supplies, and I'm sure there are curio shops and places to get interesting doodads and lots of things.

LAURA: Maybe we know of all of them. We've spent enough time here.

LIAM: Yeah, and then we end the day with your mother. Do you want to let her know that we're here in advance, or?

LAURA: It is a lot of fun to see her surprised. Maybe I'll sneak by, just to make sure that she doesn't have company tonight. But I don't want to let her know that we're here.

LIAM: Well, I have some paper to find. (laughter)

MATT: All right, well there are a number of shops that you could acquire elements of the paper and inks that you require. It's a bit piecemeal; you have to go from place to place, because materials for the purposes of magic in what some of you delve in are rare to find in general, and then those people that do take an interest tend to run through the stock pretty rapidly. But after a couple of stops, you manage to cobble together-- how much do you need, by the way?

LIAM: I would like to spend 100 platinum on paper.

MARISHA: Wow.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: That's so much paper. How are you going to carry that much paper?

MARISHA: Like a pallet of paper? Yeah.

MATT: I will say--

TRAVIS: We got a bag of holding.

LIAM: I have the Vault of Amber.

MATT: You can, at this moment- acquire 700 gold worth, so 70 platinum worth, here, and you're now unable to find the rest. You may have to go looking in another location.

TRAVIS: There's no more paper on the Menagerie Coast. (laughter)

LIAM: I cleaned out Nicodranas.

TALIESIN: I'm going to check out for some diamonds if we can find any diamonds.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

TALIESIN: A little bit of saffron, because I'm starting to run low on my mushroom stuff, and if there's anywhere I can find a five-gold token of the Wild Mother for some other stuff that's coming up.

MATT: Totally, a five dollar token for the Wild Mother, quite easy to find. There are a number of places that have varying scales of worship, from small carts on the side of the road, people sell all sorts of trinkets and baubles to represent different members of the Prime Deity circle, to a number of temples that are specifically to the Wild Mother, who's a very important figure in a bay, and a coastal ship, to the point where the lighthouse here is a massive visage of her.

TALIESIN: Figured they'd have that-- Street vendor. Saffron?

MATT: Saffron, it's a little harder to find than in inland locations, especially something so close to the ocean, but it is findable.

TALIESIN: 50 gold worth?

MATT: Oh yeah, you can find 50 gold worth. About as much of a trek to get all the paper.

TALIESIN: Diamonds, I suppose, if there's any.

MATT: Diamonds you can find. Those that you find here are largely already cut. Are you looking for diamond dust or solid diamonds?

LAURA: We need to find diamonds that are 1000 gold worth of diamond. In a spell that takes 1000 gold worth of diamond, can you use multiple diamonds to make that?

MATT: Yes.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: 1000 gold worth of diamonds, unless it says specifically, it says "a diamond worth."

LAURA: Okay, let me look.

MATT: If it's specifies a singular diamond, then that's a challenge.

TRAVIS: We should've gone to those mines.

LAURA: I mean.

TALIESIN: I mean, you say that, and you're right.

LAURA: "A diamond worth--"

TALIESIN: "Diamond dust worth 100 gp--"

MATT: So then you have to find an actual, a singular stone that is worth that much.

TRAVIS: Would there be 1000-gold diamonds in those mines that we didn't go into?

LAURA: You don't know.

TRAVIS: Damn it. It's always worth a try.

MATT: Thankfully, trade is fairly booming across the Menagerie Coast, especially in Nicodranas, which is in that cross-section between the Empire and the Concord. That being the case, with a little bit of research, you can find--

LAURA: I would know the fancy shops.

MATT: Oh, you would, very much. You grew up here. Yeah, you can definitely find a diamond worth 1000 gold, one. Beyond that, you can find three others that are worth 300, and another two that are worth 500, depending on what you purchase..

TALIESIN: I'll buy the 300 ones.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: All of them?

TALIESIN: Three 300s?

MARISHA: I'll toss in 500 for that--

LAURA: Biggie?

MARISHA: That biggie.

LAURA: Okay, so we'll get the 1000-gold diamond one--

TALIESIN: That's 900 gold.

MATT: You got it.

TALIESIN: All right.

ASHLEY: I'll toss in some too, because, for my tattoo, so I can help with the--

LAURA: Oh, okay, if you want to toss in another 500 then we can get all of them.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LAURA: Okay. So we're just going to get both the 500 gold ones and the 1000 gold one.

MATT: Sure, yeah, you bought all the diamonds.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: As if you weren't already making friends here, there are a couple of local jewelers that are very happy to have you as patrons.

LAURA: Yes, and I remind them to visit the Lavish Chateau.

MATT: "Oh, of course, I would not think of otherwise. Right, okay, have a good day. Thank you for your purchase!"

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Can you all magic meld two 500-gold diamonds into one 1,000-gold diamond?

LAURA: I don't think it works that way.

MARISHA: I don't know how magic works.

LAURA: But maybe Caleb could, I don't know what things--

TALIESIN: I think you can use multiple diamonds for some of them.

LAURA: Yes, you can.

TALIESIN: And then diamond dust for Greater Restoration's a thing.

LIAM: I think I could make you one large, lumpy diamond worth less than what you started with.

TRAVIS: How many of us have healing potions?

MARISHA: I have these guys.

TRAVIS: So they're-- all right. We should probably find a store nearby that has some.

ASHLEY: That's a good idea.

SAM: Where would I go to get something enchanted? Is there such a store here? And would it be the same place that someone else is going, or?

MATT: In--

TRAVIS: Wizard shit.

MATT: Yeah, depends on what enchantment you're looking for, and how powerful, because enchanting as a craft is fairly rare. To the point where, in Zadash, the only really major magical item broker that you've encountered there was Pumat.

SAM: Basically, if I wanted to say, make another flask of unending something or whatever. Where did I get that? Was that in Zadash?

MARISHA: Pumat.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: You had that made by Pumat, yeah.

SAM: Oh wow, all right.

TALIESIN: When we go back there.

SAM: Guess we'll go back there.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Oh, I guess I can remove my penis party favors from my inventory.

TALIESIN: I imagine you saved a few of them.-

SAM: Keep one.

MARISHA: Yeah, you have to have one for the scrapbook, for the shadowbox that you make later on.

LAURA: Penis party favor, you got it.

TALIESIN: There's no longer a plethora of penis party favors.

MATT: While Nicodranas is popular in trade, most-- you don't have knowledge of any specific major magic item emporiums here. You have to keep an eye out for specific items that flow through different trade passages and shops. You'd have better luck in larger cities, like Zadash or Rexxentrum.

SAM: Could, if I just wanted some incense, or a glowing-- or a phosphorescent material, would Caleb be able to pick that up for me, where he went?

MATT: Yeah, he could probably do that.

SAM: Caleb, get me some incense, or some "phosphorescent material."

LIAM: Eins--

MARISHA: Is there a general store? There's actually Seafarer's Bounty, right?

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah, I'll go there.

MATT: All righty. You make your way to the Seafarer's Bounty.

TRAVIS: Notes.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, really good notes.

TALIESIN: Jester, I'll trade you--

MATT: Seafloor's Bounty.

MARISHA: Seafloor's Bounty.

MATT: Yes, in the Open Quay, or "key."

LIAM: We'll say that I give you everything for one Frumpkin summoning, which takes incense, and I'll just deduct that.

MATT: You walk back into the somewhat scattered, cluttered pawn shop, if you will, and there within you see the older female gnome, Sheila Bobsnopper, who you've run in before previously, lean forward and, "Hi, can I help you?"

MARISHA: I need ball bearings, lots more ball bearings.

SAM: You ran out of ball bearings?

MARISHA: I ran out, I got like 300 left out of my bag of 1000. So yeah, do you sell bags of ball bearings? And also, bottle rockets.

MATT: "Oh, well I can certainly get you some bottle rockets. As far as the ball bearings go, I can get you... some."

MARISHA: How many?

MATT: "A few hundred."

MARISHA: Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Here, just refill this bag with as much as you can. Do you have other fireworks other than bottle rockets?

MATT: "I mean, there are a number of explosives that we have for various celebrations."

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, do you have a variety bag?

MATT: "How much do you have to spend?"

MARISHA: Let's just say... plenty. Any. I could buy you out. I could probably buy the shop.

TRAVIS: Whoa!

MATT: "I'll be right back." She looks out the front door, and closes it, shutters the windows, puts on a couple of lanterns, goes into the back room. Before she goes, she refills your bag of ball bearings to 630 ball bearings.

MARISHA: Yeah, replenish the ball bearings.

MATT: I have to look up again how much a bag of ball bearings is.

TRAVIS: Come on, that's the offhand knowledge.

MATT: Yeah, you're right, you're right, I apologize.

TRAVIS: That's all right, just don't let it happen again.

MATT: My inability-- I won't, I won't.

TRAVIS: Ooh.

MATT: Here we go, getting over into the tools and items here. Eh, four silver.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: You're fine. And then, after a moment, comes back with a large cart. (squeaking) Rolls it out, and sets it. There are barrels and small cases with all manner of fuses and sticks and strange explosive cylinders. Quite a bit, we're talking four backpacks' worth here. And you have no idea of how powerful these may be.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: "I'll give you the lot."

MARISHA: You'll give me the lot?

MATT: "For 50 gold."

MARISHA: (gasps) Done.

MATT: "It's been a pleasure doing business," and she wheels the cart in your direction--

MARISHA: I toss her five more gold as a tip.

MATT: "My goodness, so generous! What's your name, if I might ask?"

MARISHA: Beauregard. Pirate Beauregard.

MATT: "Interesting first name. Parents really had a plan for you."

MARISHA: They did, yeah.

MATT: "Pirate Beauregard. Sheila, Sheila Bobsnopper."

MARISHA: We've actually met before.

MATT: "Oh! Oh, well that's embarrassing, I'm so sorry."

MARISHA: No, I mean, I was just passing through. You've got a very memorable face.

MATT: "You would, too, if it wasn't so darkly lit in here from all the lanterns. I've turned off and closed the windows. That's on me, that's on me. Anyway."

MARISHA: Do you need help with this?

MATT: "No, I've got it, it's fine. I'm happy to. If you could just get this out of here as soon as possible so as to not garner any suspicion. This is a lot of--"

MARISHA: Are these super illegal?

MATT: "Just a large amount draws a lot of attention that I don't want on me, and on you, that's your problem, so." She's pushing it toward the door. (squeaking)

TRAVIS: It's a cart, like a cart of fireworks?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Cool. Good.

LAURA: What the fuck are you going to do with a cart of fireworks?

MARISHA: I don't know.

TRAVIS: Cobblestone streets? Like clack-a-clack-a-clack.

MATT: You know the guy in Willy Wonka, who's pushing the cart with all the plates and shit hanging? "Nobody ever goes in!" (laughter)

TRAVIS: We'll just stop at Nicodranas real quick, pick up a felony, no big deal.

MATT: To be fair, what's more Beauregard than that?

TRAVIS: True.

MARISHA: Gotta go across the border.

TALIESIN: Who's going to come home with a pet, is what I want to know.

LIAM: I'm going to put them all on the Vault of Amber and someday have Astrid dispel and all these fireworks go (explosion).

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: So I do need-- yeah, I find Fjord or Caleb, whoever has the bag of holding--

MATT: Are you attempting to be quiet with this? (laughter)

MARISHA: No, not really.

LAURA: Maybe put your cloak over the cart at least?

MARISHA: Yeah, I'll throw my-- it really does feel like driving to Indiana to buy fireworks. That's what we had to do in Kentucky. Driving across state border. Okay, yeah, so I throw my cloak over just so it looks like laundry.

LAURA: (wheezes)

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Uh huh.

SAM: Sure.

TRAVIS: Laundry.

MATT: Sure, okay, all right, all right, all right. So you make your way towards the Lavish Chateau?

LIAM: It's like a Little Orphan Annie scheme.

MATT: Where are you heading towards?

TRAVIS: Yeah. Laundry once a year.

MARISHA: Yeah, is that where they are?

MATT: Well, some people are out shopping, Caleb's buying all the paper in Nicodranas.

LIAM: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Up to you. I'll say--

TRAVIS: How do you want to do this? (laughter)

MARISHA: (sizzling)

MATT: You do notice partway towards the Opal Archways that a handful of zhelezo are trailing you from about 25, 30 feet back.

MARISHA: They're trailing me?

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: All right, I just clock them as I keep going.

MATT: Okay. Okay, and you make your way to where?

MARISHA: I guess-- I don't know. Do I know where people went? Did we all just scatter?

MATT: Everyone kind of scattered, yeah.

TRAVIS: We're a bunch of middle schoolers at a theme park.

MATT: Yep.

TRAVIS: No plan.

ASHLEY: We do need to get some healing potions.

TRAVIS: We do.

SAM: I went toy shopping and clothes shopping.

MATT: Perfect.

MARISHA: I'll just head to the Lavish Chateau, wait out front. I know they'll be there.

LIAM: With your fireworks?

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughter)

LIAM: Sorry ma'am, no loitering.

MATT: (laughs)

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Terrible idea.

MATT: Eventually, as you're waiting outside a bit, the zhelezo are watching, and begin to slowly approach, right as Carlos comes to the door, who's the tavern manager of the Lavish Chateau. You've seen him before, though not formally introduced. He goes, "Excuse me, what are doing with this out front?"

MARISHA: This is Carlos?

MATT: Yes.

MARISHA: Carlos, hey, it's me, Beauregard with the Mighty Nein, friend of Jester?

MATT: "Oh, right."

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I bring this inside real quick?

MATT: "What is it?"

MARISHA: Goods, celebratory goods. It's going to be great.

MATT: He looks over your shoulder, and the three zhelezo walk up, like, Is this person bothering you?" (as Carlos) "No, no, not at all. They did a shopping job for me, so do not worry, everything is good. Thank you so much, we'll go ahead and take it around back, and we'll put things away. You'll help me stock as well. Thank you for your watchful eye." They kind of, "All right," and they walk--

MARISHA: Come see the Ruby of the Sea.

MATT: "No, but seriously, what did you bring?"

MARISHA: I just bought a bunch of fireworks, dude!

MATT: "Okay, well now I'm--"

MARISHA: This could amp up--

MATT: "-- a conspirer."

MARISHA: No! No, no, no.

MATT: "Just bring it in, it's fine. Just don't put it near any of the lantern oil, please."

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, sure, that makes sense.

MATT: "Bring it in."

MARISHA: Yeah, okay.

MATT: All right, so he helps you get it somewhere safe and out of sight. You're buying toys and clothes, you said?

SAM: Yes, I'm going to buy some toys for my son, like a set of blocks, and some more targets for him to shoot at.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: They've got these tops, when you spin them, they make more tops, those are pretty cool.

TRAVIS: Ooh.

SAM: Oh.

TALIESIN: That was a throwback.

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: For you.

SAM: And then, maybe, if there's time, some clothing shopping. I'd like to get matching family outfits, for a Christmas picture sort of a thing.

MATT: Okay. Between all the custom outfits, the toy purchases, I'll say it'll put you back two and a half gold.

SAM: Cool. Oh wow. I'll tip an extra copper. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Cool.

MATT: How very Sam Riegel of you. (laughter)

MATT: All righty, anybody else?

LAURA: After I get done looking for diamonds with Caduceus I'm going to rush back to the Lavish Chateau so I can look for Bluud and try to hide from my mom and see if she is going to have any company tonight.

MATT: Okay, all right, so as you make your way in you catch out of the corner of your eye Carlos and Beauregard are currently pushing a cart off behind one of the stacks of kegs and boxes. And as you make your way up the staircase that leads to the secondary floor, you can see Bluud is sitting on the heavy stool, and he gets in a mode where he's kind of napping, but is still aware, you know? That creepy grandparent eyes-still-open nap, but he's paying attention, he's just like (snoring) (laughter)

ASHLEY: Yep.

MATT: "Jester."

LAURA: Shh.

MATT: "What are you-- where are you going?"

LAURA: Is Momma busy?

MATT: "At the moment I think she's just reading her books."

LAURA: Is she going to have company tonight?

MATT: "I think she has somebody scheduled, but, I mean, for you she'd change that, that can be pushed back."

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: "Do you need me to talk to her for you?"

LAURA: (squeaks) No! Shh. (whispering) No. I was saying 'shh' to myself 'cause you were being quiet, and I wasn't. I'm just going to go say hi to her right now.

MATT: "All right."

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: "Fair enough, I'm going to get back to my watch."

LAURA: Okay. I wave from the upstairs at Beau. (whispering) Hi!

MARISHA: (whispering) Hi!

LAURA: Shh!

MARISHA: (silently) Okay.

LAURA: And then I go in.

MATT: Okay. You come and push open the doorway to your mother's quarters. You can see she still has the balcony doors and windows open with the long, silken elements of material just flowing in the ocean breeze. The light that's filtering in, you can see across, she has her bed, and she has her counter where she has her books set up there, and she's currently on the bed with the window behind her open, and she's reading by the sunlight as it's coming in. She looks up with a small pair of glasses that she has on the end of her nose, and them takes off. "Jester?"

LAURA: Shh, I'm surprising you. Look the other way.

MATT: Sets her glasses, takes her book, closes it, puts it on the table. Gets off the edge of the bed and turns around.

LAURA: I creep up behind her, put my hands over her eyes.

MATT: "Oh!"

LAURA: Guess who?

MATT: "Is it... Bluud?"

LAURA: It's... your Little Sapphire!

MATT: "What?!" Picks you up and gives you a huge hug, and begins just showering kisses across your face and goes, "Oh, my Jester, how are you?"

LAURA: Good, I'm so glad to see you.

MATT: "It's so wonderful to see you as well. I did not expect you to return so quickly, you usually--"

LAURA: Has it been quickly?

MATT: "Well, I mean you generally go for long periods of time, and--"

LAURA: It feels like it's been forever, Mama.

MATT: "You told me you had so much to do last time we spoke. I'm just happy to have you here.

LAURA: We went to an island, and there was a fake god there, and then there was another fake god there, and then a real god came there, woof.

MATT: "That is, what one would say, as escalation."

LAURA: It was, it really was.

MATT: "Wow, what did you do with all of these gods?"

LAURA: Defeated one, befriended one, apologized to one. And at the end of the day everyone learned a lesson.

MATT: "Well, I'm glad to hear there was lessons to be learned on your adventures."

LAURA: So all of us are in town again, can we stay here?

MATT: "Oh, uh--"

LAURA: I know you have company tonight, though. We can totally leave you alone.

MATT: "They can delay. It's me. Of course, of course, I'll get rooms ready. Do you have more friends you've brought this time?"

LAURA: The same amount of friends.

MATT: "Same amount, okay, that can very easily be done."

LAURA: But don't let Veth's family know, because I think she wants to surprise them, okay?

MATT: "Very well, I will keep it a secret."

SAM: (whispering) I think they rented an apartment.

LAURA: Oh, they're not still at the Lavish Chateau?

SAM: I think when I left last time, I gave them money--

MATT: Yeah, you gave them money to get an apartment.

SAM: --find a condo or something.

LAURA: Oh, well then nevermind, I didn't realize they weren't here anymore.

MATT: "It's all right--"

LAURA: Veth, are you here?

SAM: Oh, hello! (laughter)

MATT: "Veth, oh my goodness!" And runs up and grabs your shoulders and looks you over. "Ah, your beautiful face, it's so good to see you again as well."

SAM: You smell wonderful, which tells me that you repaired your bathtub?

MATT: "Indeed, it's--"

SAM: Excellent, excellent.

MATT: "A worthy endeavor. It is, to be honest, much better than the last one, so thank you?"

SAM: If you need to be reimbursed or something, I don't want to--

MATT: "It's fine."

SAM: All right.

MATT: "We'll just say you owe me a favor."

LAURA: Ooh.

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: That's serious, when Mama asks for a favor, she means it.

SAM: Oh. Okay.

MATT: "It's so easy to do. Do not worry."

SAM: Ooh, my heart, a little bit. I wanted to know where my family lives.

MATT: "Oh, come to the balcony." And she brings you to the outside balcony, and as the warm light comes upon you, again, you're still carrying your bundles of toys and outfits and such. She points down the Opal Archway. There is a set of small structures and a set of four towers that come off the top of this larger complex, and she says, "Right there in the second tower, there is, you see these two windows that are conjoined on that one balcony there? That is where they're staying."

SAM: Thank you, thank you so much. Have you seen them, are they okay? Do they come over for brunch and stuff? I don't know.

MATT: "Yes, they come by, and we talk for a bit and just wanted to check up. They seem to be all right. I'm sure they'll be very happy to see you.

SAM: All right, well I'll just message you--

LAURA: Yeah!

SAM: Oh, bye!

MATT: So Veth takes off. "I will make sure there's room for you and all your friends."

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: "How are you?"

LAURA: It feels good to... to be here.

MATT: "It is good to have you here."

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "How are you?"

LAURA: I'm-- I'm good. Things are crazy.

MATT: "Apparently."

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "Last I saw you you seemed to be carrying a heavy weight."

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "Is that any lighter?"

LAURA: Yes?

MATT: "Well, that's good."

LAURA: Yeah, it... it was really hard, but... at the end of all of it, it kind of made me realize what's important, and how important everyone around me is.

MATT: "It's funny, I had an experience just like that."

LAURA: You did?

MATT: "Many years ago. When I had you."

LAURA: Mama, don't. (laughter)

MATT: "What is the point of being a mother if I cannot embarrass my beautiful daughter?"

LAURA: I don't know where everyone is. I think Beau is downstairs, but I'm sure people will be showing up soon.

MATT: "Well, I guess I should make sure that I am ready and at the top of my game tonight."

LAURA: Okay. Are you performing?!

MATT: "I am now, if you have your friends here."

LAURA: Oh my gosh, this is going to be wonderful! Okay okay okay.

MATT: "Okay. I'll go delay my client."

LAURA: I'll run downstairs and wait for everyone to show up.

MATT: Okay, any other business anyone wants to do while you're here?

TRAVIS: Healing potions?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yes.

ASHLEY: We have to get some.

TRAVIS: Any stores that we've visited before? My notes are not as thorough as Beau's.

SAM: Oh.

TRAVIS: Or Veth's.

SAM: Meandering Treasures? No.

MATT: There's Meandering Treasures, is a place you've been that might contain them. It's over in the Restless Wharf. It's another one of those general stores, part scavenge, fence kind of place. And you enter the familiar trade hub, the smell of mildewed wood and dry rot and textiles, and you do see the same male tabaxi that runs it, named Deezma Simmin, who grins through green eyes as you approach. (French accent) "Hello, and welcome to Meandering Treasures. What can I do for you, ah?"

TRAVIS: It's a pleasure to be back. My companion and I were hoping to procure some healing potions, if you might be in stock.

MATT: "I might have a few. You see, with the conflict up north, there was a lot of importing, you would say, so a lot of our stores ended up being sent towards the front lines."

TRAVIS: Mm.

MATT: "The Empire pays quite well in times of conflict. I do have-- let me check." He hovers off quickly and comes back with, feels like a somewhat loose satchel, pulls in two regular healing potions. "Not much to show for it, unfortunately, but hopefully you will have some more down the road?"

TRAVIS: Of course.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: It's such a shame, I was looking to spend a lot of coin.

ASHLEY: Yeah, same, my coin purse is just a little heavy, I'd like to lighten it.

TRAVIS: And seeing, I've sort of got that slouch going. What was that?

MATT: "If there is anything else I could help you with, perhaps I'm happy to ease this itch to spend. Just, with this particular thing, it is a bit, how do you say, hollow at the moment."

TRAVIS: Sure, we are only passing through. Perhaps if you would let us know of your featured items at the moment? Things that are of particular interest?

ASHLEY: Yeah, anything a little fun?

MATT: "Fun? Well, what sort of fun are you looking for, eh?"

ASHLEY: Well, I don't know. Yes, featured items is probably a better way of saying it.

TRAVIS: My friend does seem to find the harder side of action, so perhaps anything that might give her an unfair advantage?

MATT: "Hmm, well." And he goes back and finds this other small, like a dark stained wood, blocky chest, with some brass clasps on the sides, and opens it up, and very carefully, you could watch his whole physicality changes as he places it down and lifts the top, and very gingerly moves out these slender vials, with a rubber stopper on top. "This is a bundle of alchemical fire, that, upon impact, will incinerate what's in the vicinity."

TRAVIS: Alchemical fire?

ASHLEY: Okay.

TRAVIS: (yawns)

ASHLEY: We do have a member of our party that can do that, just with a snap of a finger, so.

MATT: "Ah, then maybe not this one." (clicks) He carefully puts that away. "Um... I need some guidance on this. There are many things to see. I have many outfits, I have all sorts of jewelry, but if you're looking for things that are more, I don't know, warfare oriented--"

TRAVIS: Sure, anything enchanted: rings, perhaps some small pieces of armor, anything you might've come across in trade?

MATT: "The thing is, a lot of mercenaries came through and cleaned me out recently. Let me see if I have anything." And goes into the back.

TRAVIS: I don't know why we're giving him such a hard time, you just never know.

ASHLEY: I don't either, I'm just following your lead.

TRAVIS: Okay. You're doing great!

ASHLEY: Am I? Okay.

TRAVIS: No, it's good.

ASHLEY: I mean, all the things that he's been showing us, those things looked great.

TRAVIS: I know, but I just feel like Caleb would be like "Why? You have me!"

ASHLEY: Yeah, that's what I was thinking as well.

MARISHA: Speed whisper.

TRAVIS: What if he drinks them, and then he's like (explosion) green flame Caleb.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: Does come back excitedly, look on his face. "You are quite lucky. There is one such item that was put on, I would say, a distant payment plan, but then the person has yet to arrive, in quite some time, so if quite an entrepreneurial purchaser were to suddenly make a delightful offer, it could be relinquished. Such things happen all the time." Pulls up this pearlescent case, about that size, and lifts the front of it. And on the inside of you can see there's this orange velvet interior, and there placed is a singular brass ring with a well-cut and polished garnet placed within the top of it. It's a little garish, but it is a thick ring. Like one of those big class rings.

TRAVIS: Mm-hm.

MATT: "This I had acquired through my means about a year or so ago, from an individual who had problems with a fiery... debt that they had to pay. They did not pay it, and this helped keep them alive for quite some time. They needed money, and pawned it onto me. And as far as I know, without its protection, they were not to be found again. So."

TRAVIS: That's quite the pitch.

MATT: "It seems to protect from the dangerous burning flames that might seek to char one to death."

TRAVIS: Ring of fire protection?

MATT: "A ring of fire resistance." (clicks)

MATT: Does it require attunement?

MATT: "I do not know, I am not a specialist in this sort of matter."

ASHLEY: So what is... What is the price for all of these things? For the little silver grenades as well?

MATT: "The alchemical fire, you mean?"

ASHLEY: Alchemical fire, yes.

MATT: "Ah, well, let me get out my--"

LAURA: (French/Tabaxi accent) My ledger.

MATT: "My ledger."

ASHLEY: (French accent) Ledger.

TRAVIS: (French accent) Grenade.

ASHLEY: (French accent) Grenade.

MATT: "They are, per flask, on their own, about 60 gold pieces apiece. However, if you are to do a much larger purchase, I could throw them in for 40 each, and I have a total of 10 at my disposal."

TRAVIS: I don't know, just kind of fucking get them, yeah.

LAURA: Yeah, what is it, 400 gold?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: Yeah, we just spent a fuck ton on diamonds. (laughter)

TRAVIS: And for the ring, such a fantastic piece, what sort of number are you entertaining?

MATT: "Well--" I'm looking up if it is indeed... Pardon me, I'll go ahead and check it out.

TRAVIS: No, that's fine.

MATT: Since you asked if it was attunement or not, I want to make sure you know that. It does require attunement. "This ring... the person had it waiting for about... 5,000 gold pieces. But with a better offer it could be relinquished, ah?"

LAURA: That's a lot of money.

MARISHA: That's so much money.

TRAVIS: Fire resistance. Are we planning to go to any lava fields anytime soon?

MARISHA: Ah man, we just did.

ASHLEY: Just did, yeah. I feel like--

LAURA: Think about how much fire spells Caleb has, if we ever do fight.

TRAVIS: So you can go danger close on one of those, no problem? Oh my god! Boom, Akira bubble, we're like I'm half alive!

MATT: Akira bubble.

ASHLEY: Half alive.

LIAM: It's inevitable, really.

MATT: We're just waiting.

MARISHA: Yeah, pretty much.

TRAVIS: 5,000 gold.

LIAM: Achoo! (explosion sounds) (laughter)

TRAVIS: I think we're okay.

ASHLEY: I think we're okay. That's a little steep.

MATT: "Hey, it's not a worry."

TRAVIS: It's a beautiful piece. I think we will take the alchemical fire.

ASHLEY: Yeah, for sure.

TRAVIS: Just because, I mean. And both of your healing potions.

MATT: "Wait, I don't--"

ASHLEY: The alchemical fire, we'll take all of those.

MATT: "Right, and then the two healing potions, and you're not having the ring?"

TRAVIS: I don't think so. 5,000 just feels rich.

ASHLEY: Don't think we need it, yeah. Feels a little much.

MATT: "Mm, alas, I guess I'll just have to wait for its proper owner to return, then."

TRAVIS: And would you mind telling us who's waiting for it?

MATT: "I actually do mind, it is a privilege between the customer and the client."

ASHLEY: But what's interesting is you were ready to give it to us, so you obviously don't care about--

MATT: "I care enough to keep certain things privileged, but I am not so ridiculous as to not make business better, huh?"

ASHLEY: Fair.

TRAVIS: Now I kind of want it. Oh, no.

MARISHA: (laughs) Rope-a-doping me.

LAURA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: 50 gold for the name of your ring's owner.

MATT: "Why are you so interested in the name of this owner?"

TRAVIS: Why are you so against the idea of 50 gold for a name?

MATT: "Would you appreciate it if after this purchase you made with me the next person came in and said, 'I was looking for this very dangerous-looking couple. What are they?' And I went and told them your names?"

TRAVIS: He thinks we're dangerous-looking.

ASHLEY: But we did not tell you our names.

TRAVIS: Oh, we didn't, did we?

MATT: "No, but I'm just trying to make a point! (laughter) I run a business by being, for the most part, reliable."

TRAVIS: I'm just looking at my equipment real quick, because I don't think I can unattune from anything. (tuts) (groans) I'm attuned to the lash?! I'll take it.

MATT: "What do you--"

LAURA: 5000 gold?! Sorry.

TRAVIS: What if we go to hell or something, or we're, like, in the middle of a volcano?

SAM: (pigeon cooing) I'm really rich!

TRAVIS: You're really rich?

SAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Buy it? Yeah.

ASHLEY: What kind of deal can we do for everything?

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: "All of it together?"

ASHLEY: Because, you know, we're going to get all of it, so I'm sure we can bring the price down for the ring just a little bit.

MATT: "If you were to buy it all together, I would give you the entire lot for 5000."

ASHLEY: What do you say, Fjord?

TRAVIS: (sighs)

ASHLEY: So...

MATT: "It's up to you. You can just walk away."

ASHLEY: What's the price on the healing potions?

MATT: "Oh, they're about 50 gold apiece."

TRAVIS: So, 500 versus 5000?

TRAVIS and ASHLEY: (laughing)

TRAVIS: For a Ring of Fire Resistance. Well, when you get mad, most things are halved.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: We do have a--

ASHLEY: This ring could be for you, if--

TRAVIS: Does Caleb have any sort of fire ward?

LAURA: He does.

ASHLEY: (inhales)

TRAVIS: Okay.

ASHLEY: He doesn't have a lot of...

LAURA: Sorry. I'm not there. I'm sorry. (laughs)

ASHLEY: He's--

SAM: (pigeon cooing)

LAURA: Sorry.

ASHLEY: -- very squishy.

TRAVIS: We could always trade it. What is the jewel made of? Have you been able to identify it? The garnet in the middle.

MATT: "It is garnet."

TRAVIS: Oh, it's a jewel-- yeah. (laughter)

ASHLEY: What is the garnet? (laughter)

SAM: What's the pearl made out of?

TRAVIS: In my mind it was a color and it's not.

MATT: "You see, a long time ago, these elements were brought through extreme pressure to form a celestial body called a planet."

TRAVIS: I'm just a rich, dumb half-orc. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Do you want the ring?

TRAVIS: Don't really feel like we need it. No. No.

ASHLEY: Okay, so just the...

SAM: (laughs) Half the episode not to buy something. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Just the silver vials and the healing potions, then.

TRAVIS: I don't know. You choose! (laughter)

ASHLEY: Just the silver vials and the healing potions.

MATT: "Very well." Takes the ring, puts it away. Goes ahead and packages up, and then gives you, very carefully, the box of alchemical fire, 10 vials, and the two regular healing potions.

ASHLEY: And that was 400 for all of that, right?

MATT: "Uh, no, that was-- 400 is--" (laughter) Make a persuasion check.

MARISHA: Yes, yes!

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: Come on, natural 20.

TRAVIS: Let's go!

MATT: This has now gone into full negotiation territory now.

ASHLEY: Persuasion, you said?

MATT: Yes.

SAM: This is your biggest--

ASHLEY: Yeah. Four. (laughter)

MATT: "I apologize, but the discount was already included as the bulk, so it would be 500 for the..."

ASHLEY: I apologize. My math.

MATT: "It's all right."

ASHLEY: Okay.

TRAVIS: I have 250, you have 250.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: "My pleasure. Thank you so much. Enjoy, and be very careful with that."

TRAVIS: Thank you so much. We'll be sure to stop by the next time we're in your lovely city.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: "Please. Any time. Hopefully I have more to show."

ASHLEY: Okay. Thank you very much.

TRAVIS: I mean, we're not going near fire, right? It's fine!

ASHLEY: I mean, we already were, but that would be pretty cool. You know, if you wore it, and then it was like, (splutters). But you were in the middle of a fire.

TRAVIS: Totally. But what if we go somewhere where it's cold, and we're just sitting here looking at this expensive as fuck ring.

ASHLEY: Yeah. Then you're attuned to this thing and then it doesn't even do anything to help you.

TRAVIS: Nothing. Yeah! You can't even eat it, or burn it.

ASHLEY: I mean, you could probably eat it. You could eat anything, technically. (laughter) I think it's-- I don't think you need it.

TRAVIS: Okay.

ASHLEY: But think about it, because we're here for a little bit. You can always go back and get it.

TRAVIS: And it's weird having the money, like I-- you know

ASHLEY: Yeah, because you don't know when you're going to get it again, so I sometimes--

TRAVIS: Yeah!

ASHLEY: But money's money. I don't know what that means. (laughter)

TRAVIS: I just felt like we were in control and then we lost it somehow.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I did, too! I really felt like that was kind of cool because I was following your lead, and I was like, oh, this is kind of neat.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

ASHLEY: But then I felt that it all just went awry.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: (laughs)

ASHLEY: But--

TRAVIS: Hey, we got fire that we will probably never use.

ASHLEY: We should not tell Caleb, and then when we're in a battle, just be like (explosion).

TRAVIS: Alchemical fire.

ASHLEY: Yeah. I wonder what he would do. He would be like--

TRAVIS: Probably be impressed, right?

ASHLEY: Very!

TRAVIS: Yeah! Okay.

ASHLEY: We should probably pass them around.

TRAVIS: Good idea. No, no! This is for us!

ASHLEY: (laughs) Okay.

TRAVIS: We paid for it! (laughter)

LAURA: That's a good point. That's a good point. So the only people that get any healing from the diamonds are definitely going to be Beau and Yasha and me and Caduceus. Yeah, because we're the only ones that put in money for that.

MARISHA: (laughs)

LAURA: Good point.

TRAVIS: Well, let's not be hasty.

ASHLEY: Well.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: No, it's only fair.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah.

TALIESIN: It's a very good point.

MARISHA: Hey, the fireworks are for all to enjoy.

TRAVIS: Beau's walking around with artillery shells. (laughter) And M80s.

LAURA: Big smile on her face.

TALIESIN: That's what's going to make us use the diamonds.

TRAVIS: (explosions)

LIAM: Fjord just got messaged from the Tal'Dorei council. (laughter)

MATT: All right. Anybody else? You're heading off to...?

SAM: My condo.

MATT: Okay. So, Veth, as you're rushing through the main open roadway, across to the four-towered complex that was pointed out by the Ruby of the Sea.

SAM: Find their name on the thing. (apartment buzzer) (laughter)

MATT: Um... That's not how it works, but yeah.

SAM: Okay, okay.

MATT: (laughs)

SAM: Buzz me in!

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: There are a number of small, fairly nice... I wouldn't say hovels. They're small homes that are adjoined amongst this communal-- tethered walkways between them. And as you make you way towards the one that was pointed out and knock on the door, it opens up, and you see, rubbing his eyes from a dark interior, which is where you know he likes to do a lot of his work, and dealing with the immediate impact of sunlight, goes, "Uh, hello?"

SAM: I throw my arms around his neck.

MATT: "(exclaims)"

SAM: Give a big kiss. Hello, I'm home!

MATT: At first he pulls back. He's like, "(exclaims) Veth. Oh my god, Veth!" And just goes right back into kissing you back.

SAM: Yep, and I, yeah. I mean, we make out a little, of course.

MATT: Yeah. (laughter)

SAM: Where's the boy?

MATT: "Oh, uh, right in here! Oh, it's so good to see you."

SAM: You, too!

MATT: "Uh, here." Goes and rushes inside.

SAM: Luc? Luc?

MATT: "Luc was-- he was right here. Oh no."

SAM: Oh no, what?

MATT: He looks slowly over his shoulder, and-- (vibrating impact) A bolt hits the ground about a foot from his feet. He's like, "(exclaims) Don't do that!" And he comes round the corner. You can see, carrying a gathering of buttons that he's made into a necklace around. He has a little crossbow and goes, "Ha! Mom?"

SAM: Yeah!

MATT: "You see that? You see what I just did?"

SAM: I didn't see it. That's the point. I didn't see you in my peripheral. You made no movement. You hung in the shadows. Top-notch work.

MATT: "Oh. Mom!" Runs in and gives you a big hug. For a second, and then pushes you out and goes, "Hey." (laughter) "Hey, Mom."

SAM: I'm so excited to see you both. I brought some presents and stuff, so here! And I pass out... I bought these matching yellow overalls.

MATT: (laughs)

SAM: Family overalls to wear. But classy, like a jumper.

MARISHA: Yellow? Are you minions? (laughter)

SAM: I just thought they'd be cute! And they're made of a really soft material. You can use them as lounge wear round the house.

MARISHA: Oh, they're OshKosh.

SAM: Yeah! Yeah. You know? We can hang out together.

MATT: Luc's like, "Cool!" Starts putting his on immediately. Yeza's like, "All right. It's a choice."

SAM: You know, it's got pockets. You can put your hammers--

MATT: Much like Ralphie putting on the pink bunny outfit, he's like, "Okay."

SAM: I mean, I went to one store... Anyway, I got some toys and stuff. And yeah. So-- and, uh. Yeah. Enjoy.

MATT: Luc is already in the process of going through and seeing which ones are unbreakable, seeing which ones he can use to break his other toys.

SAM: Uh-huh.

MATT: But overall is just super-excited, and he's like, "Mom, thank you so much! Thank you so much!"

SAM: No, no. It's so great to see you both. And how is it here? Does it feel-- you know?

MATT: "It's so cool! It's so different from Felderwin. There's so many different kinds of people. It changes, like, every day! The weather is really nice. Get to go swimming! There's a bunch of really nice kids in the neighborhood."

SAM: Swimming? That's terrible. Or if you do, just be very careful and safe.

MATT: (as Yeza) "Don't worry. I watch him. He doesn't go off on his own."

SAM: Okay. And do you have friends?

MATT: (as Luc) "Yeah! No, there's some great kids in this area. There's some real... (quieter) some real dicks in the area."

SAM: What?

MATT: Yeza's like, "What do you--?! (sighs)"

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: (as Yeza) "Look..."

SAM: No, I understand. It's hard to keep an eye on him all--

MATT: "I'm doing my best. I'm doing my best."

SAM: Of course, of course.

MATT: He goes on, starts telling stories about different kids in the neighborhood, and some of adventures he's had, these small adventures that include-- some of it's a lot of bullshit, or you can tell, and he's just embellishing, and some of it's just him and his friends, telling fun stories, and almost getting caught stealing from this one thing. Yeza's like, "And you don't steal!" He's like, "You're right." Looks over at you.

SAM: (laughs) I mean, if it's... If you need it.

MATT: "Right? If you need it." It's like, (as Yeza) "Oh my goodness." You can see Yeza's feeling like the odd man out in this one. (laughs) But eventually, you all share stories a bit, and talk about what they've been up to, and they ask what you've been up to and--

SAM: Sure. Tell them the whole story.

MATT: There's, from both of them--

SAM: Dinosaurs.

MATT: Oh, yeah. As you're telling the story, you can't help but be focused on Luc, and you can see that there's wide eyes, and he's just hanging onto every word. And then eventually, you look over towards Yeza, same expression. He is just completely enthralled and blown away by this. And when it all comes to an end, Luc's like, "You are the coolest!"

SAM: (stammering) Yeah, I mean, I am. Yeah, yeah. (laughs) I am. But no, you guys are the coolest. It feels much better being here with you, so.

MATT: Yeza takes his glasses off and goes, "(exhales). I'm going to be perfectly honest. It's been a very strange year, and to think... I don't know, this time last year, we had no idea what was ahead of us, and we thought we had lost you, and... I'm just very thankful."

SAM: Yeah. Yeah! It's miraculous, really. Just from the depths of awfulness to this, and we have money, and we have a place, and we have friends. I mean, that's all you could want, right?

MATT: "You know that's all because of you, right?"

SAM: Well, yeah, I mean, and good luck, good fortune. My friends. Yeah.

MATT: "Well, thank you."

SAM: Thank you. Thank you. Well, let's have dinner!

MATT: "Indeed. Are your friends here as well?"

SAM: Yeah. They're staying at the other place, though. I'll catch up with them tomorrow or something.

MATT: "Okay, well, I guess I'll just go ahead and prepare for a third plate. (laughs) I need to make a quick trip. I don't know if I have the right materials for three. I'll be right back. You stay with Luc."

SAM: Okay.

MATT: He goes ahead and stealthily takes off (laughs) the orange jumpsuit aspect. It's interesting, too. You're used to him wearing this very mousy, subtle gear, but you can see since he's been here, he's adopted a little bit of the Nicodranian styles that have come through. He's a little more tan. You're like: Oh. This is a different Yeza.

SAM: (appreciative humming)

MATT: Bit of fun. But he goes off to get materials, and you catch up a bit with Luc directly, and you have a lot to talk about, both of you. For every amazing story, he has one that he tells to you as excitedly that is about how they found a rat and it was massive, and they managed to scare it off, but it's still looking for them.

SAM: (laughs)

MATT: You know. All that kind of fun stuff. But yeah. As the evening draws around, you all gather again for a fantastic performance by Marion, the Ruby of the Sea, directly to you all. And even though there was an unplanned performance, word gets around quickly and a crowd does gather within the Lavish Chateau. However, premium seats are saved for the Mighty Nein, and while this performance is for all to enjoy, you can't help but feel like this is a very personal and focused performance for all of you. You're welcome to join when dinner is over and bring the family, or you wish to stay with them?

SAM: No, we'll just stay.

MATT: Okay. You can hear the performance from a distance, and it's nice to know it's there. There's a comfort in that proximity. And at this point, too, Yeza and Luc are talking about how they can, at this location that Marion helped them find, that they can hear the performances, and numerous other musical acts that come through the Opal Archways. It's nice to be around more culture than they're used to in Felderwin. As Yeza says, "It's actually been very good for Luc, too." So it's a nice evening. Is there anything else you wish to achieve before the night is done, or do we move on to the next leg of your adventure?

LAURA: Move on?

TRAVIS: Is that all of us?

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Hmm?

TRAVIS: I'm going to go back and buy that ring. (laughter)

ASHLEY: I knew it! (laughter)

TRAVIS: I'm done.

LAURA: This whole time you've just been--

TRAVIS: I'm dying. I'm dying. Like a fiend outside the door, knocking on the door. (laughter)

TALIESIN: We're going to be in another city in 12 hours.

TRAVIS: I can't let it go. I can't let it go.

MATT: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Get it. Get it.

MARISHA: Make him tell you it was for, though.

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Deezma, Deezma! I will.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: You're assuming they're open.

TRAVIS: Oh, totally. He might not be there.

MATT: What hour did you go? Uh...

TALIESIN: (laughs)

TRAVIS: I don't know.

LAURA: Before or after the show?

MATT: How long did it take Fjord to eventually give in?

TRAVIS: It was pretty quick. It was like, got down to the end of the block and was like, you know, fuck it. I'm going to go back-- (laughter) That's how most of my big purchases go in life.

MATT: So make your way back in, and with a surprised look on his face, goes, "Oh, back so soon, it seems?"

TRAVIS: Um... (clears throat) 4500, plus the name of whoever gave the ring.

MATT: Looks you up and down. Make a Persuasion check.

ASHLEY: Come on!

LAURA: Come on, come on! (dice clattering)

TRAVIS: 23? 23?

MATT: "You look like a trustworthy individual."

TRAVIS: Most certainly.

MATT: Goes and retrieves the ring and slides it across the counter to you. I'm going to go ahead and remind myself who that ring was for real fast. (laughs)

ASHLEY: (trills tongue) I'm trying to do that noise that he makes.

LAURA: How do you do it? I can't do it!

TRAVIS: We have a fire wizard! How can we not have it? Who has fire resistance besides you? Do you?

LIAM: I don't have fire resistance.

LAURA: I have cold resistance.

TRAVIS: Anybody have fire resistance?

LIAM: I have no resistance.

TRAVIS: Somebody does.

LAURA: Well, you can set yourself to have fire resistance.

LIAM: If I wanted to with my transmute stone.

LAURA: Exactly.

LIAM: But like... sure.

SAM: If I want to I could. Whatever.

LAURA: It's not like perfectly all the time.

LIAM: I'm so great.

SAM: If I feel like it.

LIAM: I'm so over fire.

ASHLEY: You should wear it like a pinky ring, you know?

LAURA: Ooh!

TRAVIS: What are those called?

TALIESIN: Toe ring.

LAURA: A pinky ring?

SAM: A garnet? (laughter)

ASHLEY: A garnet pinky ring?

TRAVIS: I looked it up, and sure enough, it says garnet. (laughter)

MATT: (laughs) "The ring was originally requested by a Lord Diedric Sutan."

TRAVIS: Diedric Sutan.

MATT: "About a year ago."

SAM: Sounds familiar.

MARISHA: It does sound familiar.

LAURA: Does sound familiar.

MATT: "But he has not returned."

MARISHA: Diedric...

TRAVIS: A year ago. Diedric Sutan.

MARISHA: Wait, what?

LIAM: I don't know why. The Sutan part.

TRAVIS: Chat is going, like, "Oh, of course, Diedric Sutan! You know!"

LIAM: It reminds me of Zadash and our frame job, for some reason. And the wealthy merchant. That's where my brain's going.

MATT: "He would travel here on rare occasions, but it has been some time now. Well, too little, too late. It is yours."

TRAVIS: I agree. And all to my fortune. Thank you. The name, of course, is safe with me. 4500.

MATT: "Thank you for your business."

TRAVIS: Have an excellent evening.

MATT: "You as well. Stay safe, and far less charred. (laughs)"

TRAVIS: Why, thank you. It's like, it just goes over that first knuckle.

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: It's magical, right? It goes-- (buzzing)

MATT: It'll shape to your finger.

MARISHA: Was it back in Zadash?

TRAVIS: Upon inspection of the ring--

SAM: Zadash paid.

TRAVIS: -- does it have any kind of markings or language, or anything outside of just a beautifully crafted...

MATT: It's beautifully crafted, though with a close inspection, you can see the designed engravings around it are runic elements of the enchantment. So it just looks like a very beautiful design, but with your knowledge in watching both Caleb and just what you've picked up through your pact for as long as you've been with it, you can see that hidden within it are all these various runes and engravings that are part of the enchantment that binds it. And as you place it on your finger, it seems to warm up for a second, and you almost become uncomfortable with the heat that it's acquiring, and for a second you're like, oh, shit. I've been--

TRAVIS: Duped.

MATT: -- completely duped. And then immediately it cools and matches your body temperature perfectly. You were a little uncomfortable in the heat, especially with your armor and everything. Even though you're used to working along the shore, you're not used to being in the seaside heat in this tropical region of the continent in such heavy equipment, and the sweating and perspiration begins to immediately subside, as you've never been more comfortable in this weather.

TALIESIN: It's a goth ring. You can wear anything you want, even though it's 110 degrees. (laughter)

ASHLEY: So cool.

TALIESIN: You're living the dream!

TRAVIS: Made of pure Freon. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Oh, lucky.

TRAVIS: Killer!

MATT: And weirdly tastes very sweet. No.

TRAVIS: (laughs) Yeah. (sucking) Antifreeze!

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: That's great. Totally worth it.

MATT: There you go. So you can add that to your equipment.

TRAVIS: I will, and I will subtract the--

LIAM: Do you want to sell it back now?

TRAVIS: No, I'm good.

MATT: (laughs) Immediately regrets it.

TRAVIS: No buyer's remorse.

MATT: All right, so after an evening within the Lavish Chateau: a restful night. The first restful night in a while, in a very, very comfortable bed. Well-fed, well-entertained, and happy to greet a warm morning. The rest of the day is yours. Mighty Nein, what would you like to do?

TALIESIN: We moving on?

LIAM: (sighs) Not much of a staycation.

LAURA: No. I can send a message to Yussa. You know, just to remind him to keep an eye out for the Nine Eyes information, and then we can head off?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Where would we go? We're going to Zadash?

LIAM: Well, we could perhaps message DeRogna and see where in the world she is at the moment, and if she's still got work to offer.

LAURA: Oh, okay, yes. Her name was Vess, right?

LIAM: Vess DeRogna. It's been ages.

LAURA: So she had work for us, so I basically am just going to be like, "Hey, it's us"?

LIAM: Vess. Lady Vess DeRogna.

LAURA: Okay. I'm going to send a message to Lady Vess DeRogna.

MATT: All right.

SAM: Lady VD.

LIAM: Oh, boy.

LAURA: Hey, Vess! It's Jester from the Mighty Nein. You said you had some work for us. Turns out we have some time. What is it you're thinking of?

TRAVIS: It's hard, right?

MATT: A moment.

TALIESIN: I lost count.

MATT: You gather you got the gist through, if you breached the-- "Ah. It is nice to hear from you. Yes, opportunities definitely remain. Please, come visit. We can discuss in private."

MARISHA: Come visit where, bitch?

TRAVIS: Aww, shit! (laughter)

MARISHA: What the fuck? Come on! (laughter)

SAM: Come. To the place where I am.

TRAVIS: Uh-huh!

MATT: You would--

LAURA: We would know she's somewhere. Her offices were in Zadash, right?

MATT: Right. You gather, from the way she said it, that if she was anywhere strange or unexpected, she would be specific. The invitation seemed to be towards her home, which you do know resides in the Candles of Rexxentrum.

LAURA: Rexxentrum.

MARISHA: Okay.

LAURA: So, Rexxentrum.

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: Do you want to go there, instead of Zadash?

LIAM: I wanted to go to find her, so if she's home, she's home.

MARISHA: I can always hit up the Reserve in Rexxentrum.

LIAM: Ja? I don't mean to--

MARISHA: To continue research.

LIAM: -- don't mean to rush things. Is there any other shopping or tasks here?

TRAVIS: I'm good, boo.

LAURA: Ooh, that's a pretty ring, Fjord.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LIAM: It's large.

TRAVIS: Yep.

TALIESIN: Think whatever shopping's left can be done in Zadash, I think.

LAURA: Yeah. Or Rexxentrum.

TALIESIN: Rexxentrum.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LIAM: The world is your fingerticks. Ticks?

TALIESIN: That's good.

LIAM: The world is your fingerdicks. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Fingerdicks! (laughter) (laughter)

LIAM: Let chaos reign!

TRAVIS: (laughs) (laughter)

LAURA: Oh my god.

MATT: Okay, so. Where are you off to?

MARISHA: Do you think we have room in the bag of holding for a cart worth's of fireworks?

TRAVIS: I have a clarifying question. A cart, or a cart of fireworks? Like, fireworks and a cart?

MARISHA: Like a wheely... Here, let me show you. And I lean back and I roll out...

TRAVIS: I suddenly feel much better about my purchase.

MARISHA: Yeah! (laughter)

TALIESIN: My god.

MARISHA: I got really excited about it and then I didn't think about the practicality of transporting them. But... (scoffs) (laughter) Look at this! Look at how awesome!

LAURA: It's amazing, Beau!

MARISHA: I know!

ASHLEY: So cool!

TALIESIN: Fire waiting to happen.

MARISHA: I mean, we could just... Okay, here's what I'm thinking. I can pack a few to come with us, and then we could just leave this here, and the next time we're back in Nicodranas, we go to the beach and set them all on fire at once.

LAURA: (fireworks exploding)

TRAVIS: We should certainly bring some of them with us. I mean, there's a lot of room in the bag of holding--

LAURA: Oh my gosh. If we pass by Hupperdook we have to give some to Kiri. I bet she would love these!

MARISHA: Oh, she would! Look at these giant ones that I think shoot off balls.

LAURA: Wow!

ASHLEY: Cool!

TRAVIS: Look right into it.

MARISHA: And then... I don't even know what these do.

ASHLEY: Whoa!

MARISHA: It's got a dragon, though.

LAURA: Yeah!

MARISHA: On the front of it, so...

LIAM: Fjord, do you want to carry these, or do you want me to take them, or...?

TRAVIS: Oh, does it affect--? You don't feel it one way or the other, do you?

LIAM: No.

LAURA: Do you have a maximum you can put in your thing?

LIAM: About 500 pounds.

TRAVIS: Tons!?

SAM: Pounds.

TRAVIS: Oh. (laughter)

LIAM: Just 20 dragon turtles.

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: I was like, holy shit! 500 tons? Fuck me!

LAURA: There's enough room.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: Shit gets weird at 7th-level spells.

TRAVIS: Yeah! (laughs)

ASHLEY: Yeah, because fireworks are not heavy.

MARISHA: No.

ASHLEY: So they could all--

MARISHA: Could I fit all of them in?

LIAM: You could. Do you want to hold some back so that you have a couple for a quick moment?

MARISHA: I'll stash some here for next time I'm like: Oh, shit, I have all those fireworks I stashed away.

LAURA: But I don't know... Okay. Just make sure that--

MARISHA: I'll tell Carlos on the way out that I'm just leaving a few crates.

TRAVIS: Give some to me, too. I'll put them in the bag of holding. That way, he doesn't have to cast--

LAURA: Give a couple to me, too, just so I can have them.

MARISHA: Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah. I pass out some fireworks. I put some bottle rockets in my pocket.

TRAVIS: Not just the sparklers. Give me some of the big ones as well.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Whoa! (laughs)

MARISHA: I know! I know!

MATT: For those who'd like to, you can just add a note into your equipment of miscellaneous fireworks.

TRAVIS: (laughs) Okay.

LAURA: Yeah!

LIAM: I'm putting dragon firework on mine.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: There was only two of those--

LIAM: Well, I have one.

MARISHA: -- so they're special.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: That one has a particular signature of its designer, Gardoff the Grr.

LAURA: Gardoff the Grr?

SAM: (laughs)

ASHLEY: It's like the one Pippin and Merry find.

LAURA: Yeah!

ASHLEY: (laughs)

LIAM: The Grr.

MATT: All righty. With fireworks distributed--

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: -- breakfast had, what would you like to do?

LIAM: Well, I'll take a quick moment to put my pieces of amber on the ground and for a moment, Fjord, you see your little ball friend--

TRAVIS: Oh, yeah.

LIAM: -- in the center. But then we pile all of these fireworks in a big heap in the middle and it is just bulging, barely held within the dimensions of the little circle I've made, and then just-- (inhaling sharply) And all goes into the small one.

TRAVIS: The Cloven Crystal. Did it look the same? Any different color, shape? Any change?

MATT: Make a perception check.

SAM: What was this?

TRAVIS: Natural 20. 23.

MATT: No noticeable change in size or color or anything, yeah. You feel fairly confident.

TRAVIS: That-- (imitating gagging)

TALIESIN: Does it taste any different? (laughter)

TRAVIS: (licking) Okay, I'll put it back. (laughter)

MATT: That's how you know it's his now. He's marked it.

TALIESIN: Worcestershire.

TRAVIS: I licked it.

MARISHA: Worcestershire!

MATT: All right.

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: Before we head out, I just want to ask Mama, have you heard from... The Gentleman? Papa?

MATT: "I do not believe I have."

LAURA: No, nothing?

MATT: "No. But it's also been extremely chaotic up north."

LAURA: Right. Is there anything you want to say to him?

MATT: "Um, if you come across him again. I don't know if you're heading that way. Just tell him, maybe, the invitation is open to come visit."

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: "Just conversation. Nothing expected. Just to talk. Maybe have a glass of wine."

LAURA: Okay. I'll let him know.

MATT: "No pressure. Just make sure there's no pressure on him."

LAURA: Of course, of course, of course!

MATT: "Just it's open invitation--"

LAURA: I'm going to make it seem so casual, Mama.

MATT: "Very casual. Very casual and welcoming. Tell him it was said very cursorily and just offhand, like I'm disinterested."

LAURA: Okay, I'll make sure he thinks you're not interested.

MATT: "Right. It's just that it's a possibility."

LAURA: Okay. Casually curious about how he's doing.

MATT: "No pressure, no expectation."

LAURA: Okay. I'll make sure to let him know.

MATT: "Tell him how pretty I looked, too."

LAURA: Mama. You don't have to tell me that. I tell everyone how pretty you look.

MATT: "Oh!"

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: "Well. Thank you all for keeping my Sapphire safe. Thank you, my Sapphire, for keeping all of them safe, and, well, as you know, you are always welcome. Maybe if I have a little more forewarning next time, I can prepare a special performance."

LAURA: Ooh! Okay, okay, okay!

MARISHA: I just bought a ton of fireworks.

MATT: "Good to know."

MARISHA: Yeah. They're stashed in the closet back behind the rum.

MATT: "That seems very dangerous. I'm going to talk to Carlos about that."

LAURA: In with the alcohol? Beau!

MATT: "I'll take care of it."

MARISHA: It's fine.

MATT: "Nevertheless, travel safe. Hope to see you soon."

LAURA and MATT: (blowing kisses)

MATT: So she sends you on your way. Where are you off to?

LIAM: (exhales) Well, we could go the direct route and just use the circle.

LAURA: Just do it.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Uh, let's message the Cobalt Soul.

LAURA: Oh, right.

TRAVIS: Yo, two for two!

LAURA: I'll send a message.

TRAVIS: Is that growth?

MARISHA: That might be growth.

TRAVIS: Oh no!

SAM: I assume I've caught up with you guys.

LIAM: I only cared about Yussa. She only cares about the place.

TRAVIS: (laughing) Yeah. Together. (laughs)

LAURA: After breakfast.

MATT: By their powers combined.

SAM: I came and checked up on you guys after breakfast.

TRAVIS: Earth!

SAM: Hey, hey!

LIAM: Got to leave before she gets here.

SAM: Caleb, Caleb! You said... Yesterday? No, a week ago? I don't know. Time is irrelevant. But at some point, you said soon you would be able to sort of-- (popping) Bamf back and forth?

LIAM: Oh, yeah. That reminds me.

SAM: Is that a thing that you can do now?

LIAM: Both of you. Do you have a small knickknack or something from your home, and from the Chateau that I could hold onto?

LAURA: Of course!

LIAM: Something little.

SAM: Sure.

LAURA: Of course, of course! I'm going to run up to my room and I'm going to find one... Oh, I'm going to find a little sculpture that I did when I was very young.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: And it's of a little... It's a turtle, actually.

TRAVIS: A turtle dick?

LAURA: No. It's before the dicks. It was a little turtle. I used to keep it on my windowsill. I was very proud of it.

MATT: All right.

LIAM: Okay. And may I hold onto this?

LAURA: Of course.

LIAM: Perfect.

SAM: I have this. It's a small thong with a little Y right on the front of it. It's a small thong with a little Y right on the front of it.

TRAVIS: A thong?!

SAM: Like a little thong underwear. Underpants.

TRAVIS: (laughs) Personalized lingerie?

LIAM: There's a Y on it? This is your husband's thronies?

SAM: Yeah, well, he keeps one of mine and I keep one of his in our pockets. And, you know...

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: (groaning)

TALIESIN: (laughs)

LIAM: Okay. No judgments. (laughter) Thank you.

TRAVIS: Has it been laundered?

LIAM: I take the turtle, and I wrap it in the thong-- (laughter) and I store them away.

MATT: Like a lembas bread bundle. (laughter)

TRAVIS: (laughs) "I keep one of his, he keeps one of mine!"

SAM: You know? Like a locket.

TALIESIN: Sharing it with your friends is worrying me. That's really where I have a problem.

ASHLEY: Turtle bundle?

LIAM: Yeah. I'm still ironing out the kinks, but with those things, we should be able to go to your home and Jester's home.

SAM: Like, when?

LIAM: I mean, any time. I have not tried it, but I think that I can-- I think that I can do it.

SAM: Like, once a day, or...

LIAM: Yeah. Once or twice a day, maybe.

LAURA: What?

LIAM: So we can travel with a bit more ease. If it works. And if I have something specific from a place, then that makes sure that there's no unforeseen problems. There's a little, little bit of risk, depending on the place.

LAURA: Does it take a lot of energy to do?

LIAM: Well, it takes a lot of focus, and a lot of math is involved, but once you get it down rote, you have it.

LAURA: Wow!

LIAM: Still haven't tested it. We could end up inside of a brick wall.

LAURA: Okay. And it can bring all of us all the time? Or just a couple of us?

LIAM: All of us, yeah.

LAURA: Wow. It's amazing!

LIAM: It's just building on everything I've done with the circles, except it just sort of opens that circle, and makes it wider.

LAURA: Okay, so what if, say, we're traveling through Xhorhas, through the planes, and instead of camping with wild creatures at night, we can bamf here, sleep in pretty beds, and then we can just bamf back to where we were?

LIAM: That is one option, yeah.

LAURA: Really?

LIAM: Yeah.

ASHLEY: That's pretty cool.

LIAM: Depending on our day, you know.

LAURA: (gasping)

LIAM: I might need to hold onto that magic for other things, but...

LAURA: Oh my gosh. That's wonderful.

TALIESIN: Best to be a little conservative with it, I imagine.

SAM: Of course, of course.

LIAM: Of course. But it is nice that we can now kill two birds with one stone, because you guys are neighbors, so.

LAURA: Yay!

SAM: In that case, do you think I could ask you a favor?

LIAM: Sure. Do you want the underwear back?

SAM: No.

TRAVIS: (laughs) Yeah.

SAM: No. Do you think you guys could go and just come get me tomorrow or something? I've just been home for, like, one night, and it just... I don't know.

LIAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: We could also just stay another night.

SAM: I don't to hold you guys up, but...

LIAM: You want one more night?

SAM: Yeah, but we have stuff to do.

TRAVIS: Well, we have research to do.

LIAM: We have lots of things to do.

SAM: You could start researching. I'm not a good researcher, if you want to just start without me.

TRAVIS: We could come back.

LAURA: Yeah. I mean, if your spells are doable. I mean, if your spells are doable. Why not?

LIAM: If you want to take it for a whirl? Okay. Stay. We'll go. We'll take in the greatest city in the world. And he just starts drawing on the ground.

LAURA: Oh, gosh.

MARISHA: If you could send a message to Archivist Kathedoc.

LAURA: Archivist Kathedoc. I remember them.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: So heading to Rexxentrum is the intent here?

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I send a message. Fjord, help me. To Archivist Kathedoc.

LIAM: This time, not riding on horses.

MATT: (laughs) Yes.

LAURA: Oh, Archivist Kathedoc! We are on our way to the teleportation circle within your...

MARISHA: Library.

LAURA: Library.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: Okay, see you soon. Can't wait for the--

MARISHA: We're the Mighty Nein.

LAURA: We're the Mighty Nein!

MARISHA: Coming with Beau. Okay. (laughter)

MATT: Eventually, rather quickly... (laughter)

TRAVIS: Who we are, why--

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: "I greatly appreciate your giving us forenotice. We shall prepare for your arrival." That's it.

LAURA: They're preparing for our arrival.

MARISHA: Of course they are.

TALIESIN: Sounds ominous.

MARISHA: It should be.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: Veth, be safe.

SAM: I think I'm in a much safer place than you're going to be.

TRAVIS: Sure, I think we've just all been together for so long, so it just feels a bit odd.

SAM: Yeah. But you're going to come get me, like, tomorrow.

LIAM: We'll be back in no time.

SAM: Yeah!

TRAVIS: Do you have a way to reach out to Caleb or someone if something happens, or...?

SAM: In a pinch, I could go to Yussa, and I assume he could reach out.

LAURA: I'll make sure to send you a message tomorrow.

SAM: Great.

LAURA: And that way you can let me know how it's going.

SAM: Great. Perfect, yes.

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: Yeah. You guys going to be okay in Rexxentrum wearing these clothes? These Xhorhasian clothes? You'll be okay?

TALIESIN: I've already changed, just because it's been so hot lately.

LAURA: I hadn't thought much about--

LIAM: I can take care of our first day, with your clothes.

MARISHA: I'll put back on my Cobalt gear.

TRAVIS: Mask of Many Faces.

LAURA: I mean, I've got my high priestess dress on, technically.

TALIESIN: I could pick up something once we're there, but I can take off the coat.

SAM: If you want some overalls, there's this great place. (laughter)

LAURA: Really cool. I love those overalls. Which store was it?

SAM: It was called, uh... Ollie's Overalls. (laughter)

LAURA: Oh, Ollie's Overalls! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great store.

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Yeah. Lots of pockets.

SAM: Yeah. So many. There's a side one here.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Did you actually meet Ollie, or was it just someone who works for him?

SAM: I stole them.

TALIESIN: Okay. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Out of the window.

MATT: All right.

LIAM: (whooshing)

MATT: As you finish the circle, you watch as the multiple layers of glyph sketching connect you watch as the multiple layers of glyph sketching connect and it spirals out like the slowly dispersing elements of a light cable that continues to swirl and fill out on its own right, like lighting a long-drawn fuel glyph. Suddenly, it ignites. And as it does, it brightens, and that familiar moment hits where you realize you have but seconds to charge through. And so you, Veth, watch as your friends-- (whooshing) all vanish into the circle before it... (soft whooshing) Its energy disperses, and it is gone, and you're left alone with your family.

SAM: I run back to 'em. We make reservations at an outdoor cafe. (laughter)

MATT: Well, first, roll persuasion to see how good the seating is.

SAM: Oh. Okay, okay.

LIAM: By the way, that is high fantasy in 2020.

MARISHA: Yeah, it is!

TRAVIS: Yeah, it really is.

LIAM: Going to a restaurant.

SAM: Persuasion?

TRAVIS: They're like, "Oh!"

TRAVIS: Plus three? How did that happen? Whoa, 22!

LAURA: What?

MATT: You get amazing seats for you and your family. (laughs) Incredible ocean view. The best server.

SAM: Ceviche. (laughter)

MARISHA: Fuck, that sounds good.

MATT: As you guys arrive in the familiar basement beneath the Rexxentrum Archive of the Cobalt Soul, you are greeted by the familiar older, white-haired half-orc visage of Archivist Kathedoc and one of the other guards there sitting, steps forward. (as Kathedoc) "All right. You've arrived, it is a pleasure. Come. The archive is yours, Expositor."

MARISHA: Thank you, Archivist. Do you know if the High Curator is in?

MATT: "Indeed."

MARISHA: Yeah?

MATT: "Would you wish to speak to them?"

MARISHA: Yeah, if they're around.

MATT: "Very well, then, follow me."

MARISHA: All right. Uh, Caleb, come with me.

MATT: Steps up, his robe's dragging on the steps as he makes his way up. Once again-- you were in a bit of a rush last time you guys got here. Your last experience in Rexxentrum, especially you, Yasha, was under a certain level of duress. But as you walk back up the stairs-- this'd actually be the first time you've seen it. This library is massive, and gorgeous.

TALIESIN: This wasn't the one they attacked, was it?

MARISHA: No, that was Zadash.

MATT: No, but it is in the vicinity. This is where you arrived last time during the mounting attack. But looking up, you can see the beautiful skylights of cerulean glass that colors all the light that comes in with this faint blue hue, and at moments it almost seems to shift to purple in spaces. You can see tier upon tier upon tier of a three- to four-story, in some places, library. Each story is a 12-foot plus shelf of books of all sizes and colors and ages. These areas, these railings, are open to leave this large atrium in the center of this library, like a giant horseshoe shape where this massive stacked library sits around, and the stonework has this beautiful gray-blue hue to it, the floor this stunning marble, polished. And throughout it there are small bursts of fern and potted plants that give a burst of life and color to the interior. The smell is clean and kept. This is a beautiful place, and it's not very populated. You can see there are a few individuals that are making their way through the various archives, each one accompanied by one of the various curators of the library, as no one is to be left unattended. And this is but one section of the library, but it is the one you are at. As you are brought to the atrium, Kathedoc wanders off for a moment, and a few moments later returns with a familiar figure. You see the half-elven individual that you met in the throne room, briefly, or saw in the throne room while you were speaking to King Dwendal himself. This is the High Curator Yudala Fon of the Rexxentrum Archive. As they approach, giving a quick glance over your troupe, beelines towards Beauregard, and in their long, beautifully elegant, white gold with blue trim robes, heavy, looks like at first just adornment jewelry, but you can see within it, each has a bit of scripture that is rolled up onto it and sealed within a glass case. These are reliquaries of some kind that are worn in a ceremonial way by the High Curator. As Yudala approaches Beauregard and gives a nod. The short red fiery hair just barely catching the right eye. They smile, and... "Beauregard Lionett. Yes?"

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: "Expositor of the Zadash Archive."

MARISHA: Yeah. Damn, your memory's great. Yeah. Yudala Fon, High Curator. Thank you so much for seeing us. I'm sorry it's such short notice.

MATT: "Of course. I have not had an opportunity yet to thank you for what you aided in not long ago."

MARISHA: Yeah, it was a bit chaotic last time we came through.

MATT: "Indeed."

MARISHA: Sorry.

MATT: "No need to apologize."

MARISHA: How's the damage to the city? Doing better?

MATT: "The city has seen far worse before. This was thankfully kept to a minimum because of the expeditious arrival of you and your friends, because of the expeditious arrival of you and your friends, and the warnings that you had given in advance. It seems that the..." And you see they think for a moment. "In reading your files, there is much spoken highly from Dairon of your work."

MARISHA: Oh, ah... (laughs) I didn't expect anything less. Great!

MATT: "Along with quite a layer of impetuousness."

MARISHA: Uh, that tracks.

MATT: "Which is not always a bad thing."

MARISHA: That's what Dairon said. I think it's been working out, you know? Yeah.

MATT: "You seem to have a crew here that keeps a good head on your shoulders."

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah. They keep me alive and somewhat sane. I'd like to think that I do that for them, too, but yeah, I mean, you know, it's hard to say. Yeah.

MATT: "I'm excited to see how much you will continue to grow from here. I'm already extremely impressed."

MARISHA: Oh, thank you.

MATT: "You're... (hums)"

MARISHA: What?

MATT: "This is not an expositor's outfit."

MARISHA: Well, you see, we've, um... kind of ping-ponged to a bunch of places really quickly. We just got back from the middle of the Lucidian Ocean, like, yesterday.

MATT: (humming)

MARISHA: So, yeah. Sorry.

MATT: "It's all right. It just might be difficult. You may find yourself challenged if you're not wearing the clothing of your station. Do you require one?"

MARISHA: Oh, I've said I put on my robes before I came for...

MATT: I thought you said you put on your original one. My apologies. Well--

MARISHA: I put on my expositor gear.

MATT: Got it.

TRAVIS: Wear your gear.

MARISHA: (laughs) Yeah.

TALIESIN: Some of us--

MARISHA: I got it. I got it. But the rest of them, I don't know.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Can't account for them.

MATT: No one should notice. "Regardless, you requested my presence. What can, hopefully, the Archive help with?"

MARISHA: Yeah. We crossed paths with something beyond this realm. Quite, quite beyond this realm. An Abyssal creature from the Astral Sea.

MATT: "Abyssal, but from the Astral Sea?"

MARISHA: I don't know. I don't know if that's the right... He came from the Astral Sea.

LAURA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: It.

MARISHA: It, yeah. Whatever it was. Who went by the name Vokodo, and crash-landed on the island of Rexxentrum.

LAURA: No, Rumblecusp.

MARISHA: In the middle of Rumblecusp. We are in Rexxentrum, thank you.

MATT: You see Yudala trying to follow.

MARISHA: Uh-huh.

MATT: "All right." (laughter)

MARISHA: I said Rumblecusp.

MATT: "What was this creature?"

MARISHA: What was this creature?

LAURA: He was, like, a big fire creature that looked like dried magma. So, fire poking out, and he had lots of arms, and he lived underwater.

TALIESIN: Also shadow and--

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Difficult to see.

TRAVIS: Tendrils. A few eyes. Four eyes?

LIAM: Four eyes, yeah.

TALIESIN: Vokodo's entry into our plane of existence shattered it where he fell. There were fragments of different planes all across the island, like he had broken something.

MARISHA: We all had this vision as we beat him of him fleeing a giant, moving city in the Astral Sea, and the phrase...

TALIESIN: Nine eyes.

MARISHA: The nine eyes, more or less manifested in all of our consciousness.

LAURA: When she says a moving, living city, it was, like, the most terrifying, horrible moving, living city you could ever imagine, you know? Like, it felt like the buildings were organic, thinking and moving on their own.

TALIESIN: Bleeding.

LAURA: Breathing! It felt like they were breathing.

LIAM: And the phrase was, "Eyes of nine."

MARISHA: "Eyes of nine."

LIAM: Specifically.

MATT: "That is disquieting to say the least. And you require research assistance in this, yes?"

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: "I will get my best scholars on it."

MARISHA: Thank you.

MATT: "Do we have means of contacting you, should we find anything?"

MARISHA: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

MATT: "Very well."

MARISHA: Should contact her. Or, well, she can contact...

LAURA: You can respond to messages.

MARISHA: I can respond to messages. You can contact me, yeah.

MATT: "Then we will continue it then."

MARISHA: Then she can contact you back, yeah.

MATT: "Of course."

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: "Well, I will get onto this. I do have business to attend to. It is a pleasure to see all of you, and Beauregard Lionett."

MARISHA: Thank you.

LAURA: Thank you, High Curator, for your wonderful time spent with us.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: "(uncertain chuckle) The pleasure is mine." Bows lower, like--

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: Trying to follow. "(hums) All right." And they immediately turn and (laughs) march off to their business as you watch them begin to point out and call over a few individuals and essentially begin prepping them on what is the requested intent of your arrival.

MARISHA: Cool.

LAURA: Expositors are really powerful, huh?

MARISHA: (sighs) Yeah. They make me nervous every time. Even though, like... You know I don't really care about authority, but it's still, like, a lot.

LAURA: Beau. You are authority.

MARISHA: I know. It's weird, right?

ASHLEY: Are you equal with him?

MARISHA: No, no, no, no. They are the lead, kind of like the master of this branch. Like, the master curator of this branch.

LIAM: Ja, but one day, maybe.

MARISHA: I mean, maybe. I don't know. I kind of like the expositor life, because we're like the foot soldiers who go out and find shit.

TALIESIN: I've heard you talk about "the Man" before. Are you now the Man? Is that the--?

MARISHA: I've always been the man, Caduceus.

TALIESIN: Wow. You're usually just kind of angry at the Man.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: That's true.

TRAVIS: There's a lot of anger at the Man.

TALIESIN: Should probably examine that at some point.

LIAM: I don't know. I think your intelligence is wasted on being a foot soldier. One day, maybe.

TALIESIN: Cheers.

LAURA: Yeah, but you're so adventurous.

MARISHA: Exactly.

LAURA: It would suck to be stuck behind books all day.

MARISHA: I mean--

LAURA: I mean, not that there's anything wrong with books, Caleb. Books are great.

LIAM: You're on thin ice, Lavorre.

LAURA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: You've got a lot of props in that room. Anything you need, best researchers on it? I mean, that's pretty high up the food chain.

MARISHA: Dairon's been saying good shit. Thank god for Dairon. Cool. Well, that's done. Now what?

TALIESIN: Couple of us still stick out like sore thumbs. That's a problem.

LIAM: I can fix that.

ASHLEY: Wait, what was their name again? The High Curator?

MATT: The High Curator Yudala Fon.

ASHLEY: Fon, yeah.

TRAVIS: Would a expositor ever have an assistant, or a lackey, someone that would follow them around and help them?

MARISHA: Maybe if I requested it. Like, put in an order for--

TRAVIS: I mean, like, I could make myself look like that and be, I don't know.

MARISHA: Oh. Maybe like an archivist, probably.

TRAVIS: Your first mate, for a change.

MARISHA: Like an archivist would maybe be someone like that?

MATT: Expositors generally work alone because that's the most effective means of them doing their work, unless they're paired off in times of extreme crisis.

MARISHA: So like a second expositor?

MATT: A second expositor, maybe. No, normally the work-- Like, you would work with archivists when you're in the actual library, but otherwise, your purpose is to go out and acquire and bring back.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm. So you can wear-- It's like this gray and blue situation, with a gray belt. It's got a little symbol of Ioun clasp. Very, very tailored, yeah.

TRAVIS: Great.

LIAM: Would you do me a favor? Would you all gather up for a moment? Good.

LAURA: You going to take our picture?

LIAM: I cast Seeming, and everyone in the group, except for Beauregard, who is covered--

SAM: Dies.

LIAM: Ja. Disintegrate. (laughter)

MARISHA: Campaign over.

TRAVIS: Fin. (laughter)

LIAM: Everyone is now dressed in-- It's like when you go back from Los Angeles to New York, and everyone is in a black suit. Everyone is in brown, dark brown, very austere, serious-minded robes and coats that match the climate and temperature of Rexxentrum, which is pretty far north, so it's chillier here. So everyone's looking dressed very expensively, but again, very severe.

TALIESIN: This is temporary.

LAURA: Caleb!

TALIESIN: We're going to have to fix this into something reasonable. It's very conflicting.

SAM: Oh, poor Jester!

TALIESIN: Yeah. No, this is--

SAM: She's in a nun's outfit.

TALIESIN: We'll fix this.

LAURA: Yeah. We've got to get the real clothes real soon.

LIAM: That's pretty funny, though.

MATT: Can't put down my arms! (laughter)

MATT: All right. And with that, you step out into the Court of Colors, this beautiful plaza that is the mixture on the western edge of the Tangles section of Rexxentrum. It is where numerous roads and streets converge at odd angles and create this mishmash of individuals from all over the countryside of the Empire and beyond. You can see the southern walls of the Shimmer Ward. The Shimmer Ward, not far from here, where the Chantry of the Dawn was, where you had your last great battle here and freed Yasha from the tethers that held her. And where would you like to go?

MARISHA: Rip the Band-Aid.

LAURA: Where do you want to go? Should we go straight to her house?

LIAM: We definitely have business here, but also, we are in Rexxentrum.

MARISHA: Yeah. We didn't get to spend a lot of time here last time.

LIAM: No, it was a little dangerous, at the very least.

LAURA: What do you want to do?

LIAM: Oh, I would like to... maybe walk by the school. And do a little more shopping here.

LAURA: Do you need some more paper?

TRAVIS: At least 400 gold more worth.

LIAM: No.

LAURA: (laughs)

LIAM: I am good for now. I can get paper now. (sighing) This is my chance to maybe pick up a spell or two here in town, and I'm tempted to see the sights, but maybe we should keep it--

TRAVIS: Do you think walking by the school will entice any sort of suspicion, or perhaps we're being watched already?

LIAM: I don't know that it matters, Fjord, after our peace deal at sea.

TRAVIS: True.

LIAM: I don't know. I feel like we may be swimming with sharks a little bit, and it's good to just get our feet wet, and get used to that.

MARISHA: Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting a little bit lay of the land. Maybe making some other friends here before we go right into the belly of the beast.

LIAM: Ja.

MARISHA: I wouldn't mind going back by the temple, either, where we fought Obann.

LIAM: Just to get another look at it?

MARISHA: I don't know. See if anything's changed.

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: If that's okay with you, though. I don't know if--

ASHLEY: Yeah. I think that would be a good idea. I'd like to see it with my own eyes.

MARISHA: Okay.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: All right. Where are you off to first?

LIAM: Let's start with the school.

MATT: Okay. The-- you're referring of the Academy Grounds?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Okay. That is within the Shimmer Ward, which is the inner portion of the city. If you're looking to shop for anything of your regards, it'd be along the way.

LIAM: Along the way, yeah.

MATT: So before you'd even get to the Academy Grounds, you'd pass through, from what you'd know, probably the Vigil Circle, which is a part of the Tangles, which is what you're already in, heading towards the Shimmer Ward would be your best bet to find a place that might be able to--

LIAM: Would I know a shop that would have both magical scrolls, as well as items?

MATT: You would. There aren't many shops that sell magical scrolls because everything is very heavily controlled by the Assembly, specifically.

LIAM: Pumat's place is a little looser because it's further south.

MATT: Because it's further south, but here in Rexxentrum, the proximity is so close that most business has to go through the Academy.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: But there is one place you know of that gets away with it because it's a little looser. You haven't visited there, but you passed by a number of times, known as Thaydeen's Endless Emporium of Enchanted Eccentricities.

LAURA: Oh my god, I love this name.

TRAVIS: What the fuck?

LIAM: Say that name one more time.

MATT: Thaydeen's Endless Emporium of Enchanted Eccentricities.

ASHLEY: Thaydeen?

LAURA: Is she related to--

LAURA and MARISHA: Gilmore?

MATT: No.

MARISHA: (laughs) Thaydeen's Endless--

LAURA and MARISHA: -- Emporium--

LAURA: Of Enchanted--

MATT: Eccentricities.

LAURA: Eccentricities.

ASHLEY: Thaydeen's Endless Emporium--

LIAM: There's not much in Rexxentrum; there's just the most amazingly-named store.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: In all of Exandria.

MATT: You've not been into it. Or maybe you have, it's up to you. You'd be interested.

LIAM: I would've. We would've gone and looked, knowing that we couldn't afford anything.

MATT: True enough. It's on the southern side of the Tangles, in the area called the Vigil Circle, which is a circular marketplace that is built around a loop of road that surrounds the temple of Erathis called the Tower of Writ. So where the Prime Arbiter delivers judgment universally throughout the city. All manner of strange commerce takes place here and there are all sorts of weird buildings, as well as the Claykeep prison, which sits ominously in the center of it by the temple so that anyone who's doing business knows to not pilfer anything, because it's real quick to get over to where they'll be forever kept.

LAURA: The Quakey prison?

SAM and MATT: Claykeep.

MATT: (Elmer Fudd voice) You ever been to the Quakey prison?

LAURA: I know. (laughter)

LAURA: The Claykeep. That sounds scarier.

MATT: Indeed, but as you approach, familiar to you, Caleb, but you guys see a cylindrical structure that looks like a smaller amphitheater. It is a two-story set, large cylindrical building that is surrounded by a large, equally tall, dark red velvet maroon set of curtains. There are no windows. It just looks almost like a velvet cake. It's this weird, large curtain with some gold rope trim that comes down and it just splits right to the front, where there is a door archway, and you see a sign above it, this arched sign that is beautifully painted, and it says the entire layered name across it of Thaydeen's Endless Emporium of Enchanted Eccentricities.

TRAVIS: God yes. Oh my god.

MARISHA: We needed a good shopkeeper.

TRAVIS: Why did I buy this fucking ring? (laughter)

TRAVIS: About to walk into Costco.

MARISHA: You're the kid who spends all their field trip money at the first stop.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Like a thousand Lemonheads.

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs)

SAM: I did that.

ASHLEY: Damn it!

MATT: As you all enter the interior of this location, you can see this is like a gaudy warehouse filled with shelves and shelves--

LAURA: It's magic Costco.

MATT: -- of knickknacks and small collectibles and odd little trinkets and baubles here and there. A lot of the shelves are-- there's gaps. There's missing, there's a lack of signs and it looks like a lot of it has been cleared out, though there are a number of things here and there.

TALIESIN: Fjord, you should get this, right here. (laughter)

LAURA: I pat Fjord on the shoulder and just say: Fjord, your ring is really pretty.

TRAVIS: It's very climate controlled in here now because of it.

ASHLEY: Fjord, there's also this lovely coin over here. Don't know if... (laughter)

TRAVIS: Oh, fuck. No, that's personal. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Don't you bring Ren Faire into this. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Took me a minute to get there, but I got there.

MATT: Well done.

TRAVIS: I haven't been drinking nearly enough. (laughter)

LIAM: Amazing. Dragged, dragged.

MATT: As you walk through the center area, and there are layers of shelves that lead towards a center circular counter with a back exit portion, and as you all begin to step in and talk and look around you, the still silence in the chamber is broken by what sounds like (record player starting) and music starts playing, triggered by your arrival.

ASHLEY: So cool!

MATT: You hear (quick footsteps) charging from the back chamber. You see a very tall, probably about as tall as Caduceus, though broad-shouldered, feminine form with this strangely tangled red hair that goes down past the shoulders, into this Brave-like poof. The skin is dark, dull gray with black shapes and tattoos across it. This is a goliath. Pupilless woman charging up, like (thudding), full sprint in these long, flowing, also red robes that match the curtains from the exterior of the chamber, coming to the middle of this central counter and then placing hands on the edge and goes, (New Zealand accent) "'Ello." (laughter) "And welcome." And that's where we're going to take a break. (groaning)

SAM: A Kiwi goliath?

MARISHA: I'm so excited!

TRAVIS: Oh, fucking awesome.

MATT: So take a short break here. We'll be back here in just a few minutes, so see you guys here right quick.

Break
V.O.: Now experience the ultimate way to play by sitting at a table with your friends, with your face in a screen. Progress! D and D Beyond. Log in to explore strange worlds and fantastical cities, thanks to a company based in a really boring one that handles all the tedious math and reference stuff for you, so you can finally unleash the epic quest you've been crafting since middle school on your friends, or just do what most people use it for, breaking out endless new characters while they're bored at work. I could finish these spreadsheets, but what if this Paladin owned a horse? (heavenly music) Perfect. D and D Beyond, play with advantage.

(ethereal music)

BRIAN: (V.0.) Hello? Hello. What is this place, where am I? What happened to the rest of my body? Oh no. Did I die? Wait a minute. Are we on the internet?

DANI: (V.0.) Soon!

BRIAN: (V.0.) Oh shit! (soft folk music)

LAURA: (V.0.) Hey Critters, Laura Bailey here. Let's see what's up in the Critical Role shop. (upbeat music) Ooh, look at this. Look at the details, ooh! You're only five clicks away from owning this, maybe more if you have a lot of windows open on your browser, I don't know your life. It's so cute, I can't handle it. Darling, I'd recommend buying two. One for you and another for you. Let's be honest. (liquid pouring) This is a lot of stuff you guys. We have like so many cool things right now. All this and more, now available in the Critical Role shop.

(soft, dark music)

TALIESIN: Like a symphony playing to an empty theater, Critical Role dines alone without its audience. Yes, that validating and most enthusiastic congregation on the other side of the fourth wall. And what is fourth wall, separating the viewer from the creator. A portal to an often sought point of connection or the Twitch subscription zone? On the rare occasion that you miss the live bacchanal boasted by the ragtag group of thespians on Thursday night, you may always view the show on demand in the shadowland known as the Twitch subscription zone. Picture if you will, the necessary pieces to complete a jigsaw puzzle, but it's up to you to choose how it will be solved. You could of course subscribe with your debt rectangle, but many more divergent paths lie before you. Perhaps you found yourself in possession of an Amazon prime account. You would then wake up to discover a free Twitch subscription each month for a channel of your choosing. But this artifact demands renewal, for you must resubscribe each month to quench its unyielding thirst. One need not walk alone. Those who have already found their way can illuminate the path for others via the gift a sub button on Twitch. Critical Role is humbled by your subscription and wishes to thank you from behind the thin veil of this fourth wall. We hope you enjoy our content as much as we enjoy making it. And so ends another meandering digression, a complicated parody promo down an indistinct highway to the region we call the Twitch subscription zone. You will subscribe. Twitch prime subscribe, gift subscribe. Subscribe.

Part II
MATT: And welcome back. So, as you all stand now in the center of the Endless Emporium of Enchanted Eccentricities, you see who you assume to be Thaydeen there, arms out on the edges of the central counter, going, "So, what are you looking for, if I might ask, huh?"

LAURA: Oh my goodness.

MATT: You've had a numerous experiences with the goliaths, and you know, depending on where they grew up and where they're from, you know, they can be anywhere from stoic to jovial. This is certainly one of the strangest goliaths you've encountered. Big smile, wild eyes, and just happy to have customers at the moment.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it's just us in the emporium.

MATT: It's just you. It is so big and so empty, it is off-putting.

LIAM: Oh my-

MARISHA: Like Fry's.

LIAM: Hard to know where to let our eyes rest; there is so much. We have just come from very far away, from the edge of civilization itself, so it's--

MATT: "That's very, very far away."

LIAM: Yeah. Yeah. It's not a couple blocks, it's--

LAURA: Have you ever heard of Rumblecusp?

MATT: "No. Is it nice to visit?"

LAURA: Yes, it is very nice now. If you're ever looking for somewhere to go, it's got a great resort.

MATT: "Just a moment." She turns around and starts writing "Rumblecusp" in a notebook. "So anyway, can I help you? I'm terribly sorry. You're all new faces in here. I am Dimble Thaydeen, and welcome to Thaydeen's Endless Emporium of Enchanted Eccentricities. Now, what are you looking for?"

TRAVIS: Did you say Dimble?

MATT: "Dimble."

TRAVIS: Wonderful.

MATT: "I didn't choose it."

TRAVIS: Great name.

MARISHA: I love it.

LIAM: Who did choose it?

MATT: "My parents."

LIAM: Oh, I see.

LAURA: Should we call you Miss Thaydeen or Dimble?

MATT: "Preferably Thaydeen, it's what I'm used to."

TRAVIS: What is your shop known for? I mean, what is it that people come to the Endless Emporium for most regularly?

LIAM: I assume the eccentric.

MATT: "Well, let's just say there's nary a proper party here in Rexxentrum that doesn't have my stamp on it somewhere. So, all sorts of decorations, collectibles, take a look, take a gander. All of these are either made by me or imported directly to me by other craftsmen from all over Wildemount and beyond." And you look around and you look at some of the shelves as you go by and there's like, little sculptures and there's-- It's a weird combination of novelty store and antique Salvation Army, with a little bit of odd, colorful flair. "So."

LAURA: Do you have anything that will help protect people's brains from being overtaken by, like, other people. Like, mind control?

MATT: "That's a very specific request. Funny thing is, with the recent conflict, a lot of the things of that sort of similar specification were commandeered by the Assembly. They'll all be coming back in in a few weeks, those that weren't used now that we're at peace and the war's over, but for the time being, I've only got, hold on." And she goes and checks through her ledger, closes that, looks at you. "A whole lot of collectibles. If you're looking for things that are specifically enchanted, I've got a few specialties of mine here. I've got some celebones, some oops-stones, some chuckle dust. And this here ring."

LAURA: Another ring, huh?

SAM: It's a ring of fire protection for 500 gold. (laughter)

ASHLEY: That would be amazing.

TRAVIS: Don't do that. Don't.

LAURA: What is it?

LIAM: What does this do, pray tell?

MATT: "Which one? The chuckle dust?"

LIAM: The ring, we'll start with the ring. Hoping for fire protection.

MARISHA: That's what I want to know.

MATT: You see a garnet-- no, no you don't. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Shit.

MATT: "This was one that I managed to keep hidden from being commandeered, so please keep it on the down low. Because," and she points over on the edge of one of nearby walls, you can see the similar symbol of the four central-- oh, that's right-- the three central diamonds pointing, the Assembly symbology that you're familiar with. "So, this here is generally utilized for more of a utility purpose. Those who are gathering their various arcane spellcraft type of endeavors, under certain specifications, they can take a single target spell and make it a dual target spell. I call it the Ring of Spell-Splitting."

LAURA: Ooh!

MATT: And she reveals it with this flair and flourish. You look inside this simple box and you see a gold and silver band that are just spiraling around each other, in a singular loop. Simple in some ways, but still very beautiful in its simplicity.

LAURA: Is there like a max, you know, strength of spell that it will work on?

MATT: "This will only get to a certain point, right. And it has to be a certain kind of spell. But it allows you, once a day, to make it hit two instead of one."

LIAM: And this is more for the sort of painful type of spell, perhaps?

MATT: "It depends, if it's a specific target, perhaps it can be two. But if it has like more of a area, not so much; it to be a specific target."

LIAM: Understood.

LAURA: What if it's a touch spell?

MATT: "Does it have a specific target?"

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "Can you touch two of them?"

MARISHA: (imitating Laura) Yeah.

TRAVIS: Uh-oh.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Maybe?

TRAVIS: What's up, man? It's happening.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: What if it's, like, a healing spell that you're just doing with one target, then it's two targets?

MATT: "That could be possible." LAURA: How much, how much, how much, how much, how much are you asking for it?

MATT: "Well, aren't you just the eager beaver, huh? I'll let this one go for 6000 gold pieces.

TRAVIS: Woo! Woo, woo!

LAURA: 6000 gold pieces, that's a lot of gold pieces.

TRAVIS: Sorry, Willmott, woo.

MATT: "Now, mind you, I give discounts for those who buy in bulk, and there are many other things to pick up around here."

LAURA: Woof.

MARISHA: What are the oops-stones?

MATT: "Ah."

MARISHA: I said, stuffing my face with popcorn.

MATT: Goes ahead and pulls a, looks like a small, polished river stone with a light, yellowish-green coloration. "This stone, when activated and thrown, will emit a terrible odor within a specific radius, making everyone around it unable to deal with it, for the most part, have to vacate or probably puke all over their shoes."

MARISHA: (laughs) It's not what I thought you'd say with an oops-stone, but--

MATT: "Smells like an oops." (laughter)

LAURA: That's amazing.

ASHLEY: "Smells like an oops." What's the chuckle dust?

MATT: "Ah, chuckle dust." Pulls up this yellowish pouch. "Each one of these pouches," and it's about this big, "has about 10 uses of it. You sprinkle enough to cover about a square foot of a flat surface, flat-ish surface. as the dust begins to crackle, it gives off a unique cycling bit of laughter, for a full, I think 10 minutes. If you scatter it over a bunch, it's a bunch of different laughs. Great for a party."

LAURA: Interesting.

ASHLEY: Tell a joke, you know?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "Yeah, yeah."

LIAM: Laugh track in a bag.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: "Make small crowds seem like they're larger crowds, if you're trying to draw a crowd, you know. Real popular with comedians."

LAURA: What was the other thing you had?

MATT: "Ah, that's the celebone."

LIAM: Celebone.

LAURA: What is the celebone?

MATT: She goes and pulls out of this rod with a ring at the end of it. Kind of swings it a bit. It's it looks like it's semi-translucent, almost like a glass rod of some kind. He goes like, "This is reusable." Don't you dare, Laura. (laughter)

SAM: It's an invisible dildo?

MATT: No!

TRAVIS: (like Matt) No!

ASHLEY: (like Matt) No!

LIAM: (mockingly resentful) Stop! It's a very powerful magical item. (laughter)

MATT: "Like I said, there isn't a party around these parts that I haven't had some hand in," and is just waving it. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Let chaos reign!

MATT: "Watch this." (laughter) (laughter)

LAURA: I didn't even say anything!

MATT: You ever have a moment where you write something, and it's not until you're saying it out loud to a specific person that you're like, oh no. (laughter) Oh no. So she twists it, and it immediately begins to just give off bright colored lights, like a disco.

LAURA: Whoa, like all different colors?

MATT: All different colors. It's just a kaleidoscope of light within a 20-foot radius.

LAURA: Oh my god, this store is amazing!

MATT: "This'll last for an hour. It can be used once a day."

LAURA: It's like a party light!

MATT: "Got 10 of these." Waving that around, sticks it down. "Got 26 of the oops-stones. And I've got 11 chuckle dust pouches at the ready."

LAURA: How much are they each?

MATT: "Celebones, 20 gold apiece. Oops-stones, five gold apiece, but one use only. And the chuckle dust is 10 gold a pouch."

LAURA: Oh my gosh.

TRAVIS: Could I take two of those oops-stones?

LAURA: I would definitely like an oops-stone as well, and a celebone, and the chuckle dust.

TRAVIS: Here's 10 gold.

MATT: "One of each?"

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I'll take a celebone and a chuckle dust as well.

MATT: "Celebones, 20 gold apiece, so if you're going to buy one, pay up."

MARISHA: I'll also take two oops-stones.

MATT: "Oops-stones are five gold apiece. That's 10 for you."

LAURA: Oh, then I want another oops-stone as well. So I'll go in for... I want five oops-stones. (laughter)

MATT: "All right. That's 25 gold pieces. Thank you."

LAURA: And the celebone is how much, 100?

MATT: "20."

TALIESIN: 20.

LAURA: Oh, great.

MATT: "But if you buy a bunch of them, you could have a real party, I'm just saying. Lights from all over. And you think one oops-stone's bad. Imagine if you set off a bunch in an area."

ASHLEY: How many do you have left? Of the oops-stones?

MATT: "That was two for you, two for you, five for you. 26, that would put me at 17 left."

ASHLEY: I think we should buy some for Nott, so she can give them as a present or--

LAURA: Oh, that's true, I bet Luc would love something--

ASHLEY: Yeah, I will--

MARISHA: Kiri. Kiri would love some.

LAURA: Kiri would love the oops-stones. Should we just buy all of--

MARISHA: They're great gifts for kids. Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LIAM: Yeah, I will also take two celebones, please.

MARISHA: Yeah, I'll have a celebone.

MATT: 40 gold.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: 20 gold.

MARISHA: How many celebones did you have?

MATT: "Total of 10."

MARISHA: I mean, are we going to buy all the celebones? We're going to buy all the celebones.

LAURA: That's 200 gold for the celebones. 26 oops-stones, you said?

MATT: "That is correct. Five gold apiece."

LAURA: 300 gold for all of the oops-stones, and how much, how many bags of chuckle dust?

MATT: "11 total."

TRAVIS: Nerds and Lemonheads.

LAURA: And they're 10 gold apiece?

MATT: "That's correct."

LAURA: So 110 gold for the chuckle dust? What if we bought the whole lot? You said you would give a discount for bulk buying.

MATT: Make a persuasion check with advantage.

SAM: I love this shop.

MARISHA: It's like a prank shop. It's great.

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: Yeah, it's kind of--

SAM: Oh, you forgot your fake dog poop. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Complimentary.

LAURA: 20.

MATT: 20.

MARISHA: Yeah, throw in a hand buzzer with every purchase.

MATT: "Tell you what... Let's see here, that's..."

TALIESIN: Wacky spinning bow tie. Squirting flower lapel.

ASHLEY: Weasley's.

MATT: "Give you the whole lot, with the ring included."

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: "If you want to. 5000."

TRAVIS: There's that fucking number again.

LAURA: 5000 for it all plus the ring? I mean, okay! Yeah, I'll do it.

MATT: (thudding sounds) You guys have-- like this is... You look like you cleared out a Disneyland shop, coming out of one of the rides. You're just, like, carrying bags and bags of all these different things. Half of them are lighting up.

TRAVIS: Fiber optic swords.

MARISHA: Here, I'll toss 500--

TALIESIN: During the parade, they're all synchronize up, it's great.

MARISHA: -- to the purchase.

LAURA: Oh, but I don't want you to. I was going to buy the ring, so I don't want you to have to put in 500 gold.

LIAM: That is going toward ring.

MARISHA: Yeah, it's fine. I'm kind of like Veth. I've got so much money and I'm not like the wizard who has to buy so much paper. Like I'm pretty set, so--

LIAM: I don't have a lot of money.

MATT: Celebones, oops-stones, and chuckle dust are all in D&D Beyond. You can go ahead and just add them to your character sheet if you want.

LAURA: Oh my gosh.

SAM: They exist?

MATT: Oh, I made them.

SAM: Oh, you made them.

LAURA: Oh, that's fun.

MATT: As well as the Ring of Spell-Splitting should be on there.

LAURA: Okay, awesome.

TALIESIN: I'm going to throw you another a hundred gold.

LAURA: Okay. Thank you, Caduceus.

TRAVIS: These are all incredible items and we're very thankful for them. What might you have for more expensive clientele?

MATT: "At the moment, not too much. Kind of cleared me out as far as enchanted items. Come back here maybe in a few weeks, once more of the, you know, specialty soldiers return from the front lines that borrowed all this shit that was taken from me when war broke out. Maybe I'll have more to sell."

TRAVIS: How long has your shop been here in Rexxentrum?

MATT: "Shop's been here about 60-some odd years, but I've taken over the family business."

TRAVIS: Six-zero, 60-some odd years?

MATT: "Yeah."

TRAVIS: Wow. Goodness.

MATT: "My father passed. Took over it for him."

TRAVIS: That's wonderful. Family business.

MATT: "Anybody interested in small clay doggies? I've got a whole section over here."

TRAVIS: Do they move?

MATT: "If you make them."

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: "(barks) Eh?"

ASHLEY: How much are you selling them for?

MATT: "Two silver apiece."

ASHLEY: I'll take two.

MATT: "All right, here you go."

LIAM: Do you have a cat section?

MATT: "Oh, right over there in the back."

LIAM: I'll be back.

TALIESIN: I grab two celebones, just so you know.

MATT: The cats, they all appear to be from the same maker, and the same maker has a weird idea of what cats look like. So they're all a little off in a similar way. Their necks are very long and curved to where it has a strange, like almost giraffe-like... You could interpret as an artistic choice except for the rest of it seems proportionally correct and it's just-- it's odd.

LIAM: How big are they?

MATT: They're about that big. They're little knickknacks.

LIAM: Hmm.

ASHLEY: Jester, I'm going to give you 50 gold, because could I have a celebone and a couple oops-stones and some chuckle dust?

LAURA: Take it.

TALIESIN: I got two celebones and a chuckle dust, and I'm good.

LAURA: Okay.

ASHLEY: You know what, that's so fun to say.

LAURA: Yeah, I just love all of this stuff so much.

ASHLEY: Yeah. Celebone, oops-stone, chuckle dust. (laughter)

TALIESIN: You got a ring, that's great.

TRAVIS: I do.

ASHLEY: You both have rings now.

MATT: "So anything else I can help you with?"

TALIESIN: I guess if you have a card, just in case we have to come back, that'd be great, or something.

MATT: "Watch this. Here you go." (laughter)

MATT: "Didn't see that coming."

TALIESIN: I was expecting so much, and that was so much better. Thank you very much.

ASHLEY: Where are you from?

MATT: "From here. I grew up here."

ASHLEY: From here?

MARISHA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Family-owned biz.

MATT: "Yeah."

ASHLEY: Right, family owned business, I'm sorry.

LIAM: Do you have any fine incense here?

MATT: "Incense, yeah, certainly. How much you want?"

LIAM: 50 gold worth of incense.

MATT: "Of course, of course, I'll get that for you." Packs it, brings it back. "Here you go."

LIAM: Five cats. Thank you. Oh, and I will take a card as well, please.

MATT: "Oh, of course." The pageantry is done every single time. "Here you go."

LIAM: How did you do that?

MATT: "Magic."

LIAM: Wow.

TRAVIS: In all of the antique sections, are there any porcelain unicorns or unicorn-type statues or toys?

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: 14. 15. Oh, 15.

MATT: You do see one, maybe inch and a half, adorably sculpted little porcelain unicorn. It looks like it's a little chipped, like it's been there for a while and seen better days.

TRAVIS: How much for this?

MATT: "Five copper."

TRAVIS: Give her five copper.

LAURA: And you wanted how many?

TALIESIN: Two celebones, one chuckle dust.

MATT: It's everything I wanted.

LIAM: This is a real conversation we're having.

MATT: Yeah, yeah.

LAURA: It's really hard to keep track.

MARISHA: Two oops-stones, one celebone.

ASHLEY: The chuckle dust is 10 gold apiece, right?

MATT: Correct. (laughter)

LAURA: And did you want any chuckle dust?

MATT: I'm so happy.

MARISHA: Nah, I'm good. I make people laugh on my own.

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: And how much were those yuk yuk pockets again? (laughter)

TRAVIS: Thank you. This has been a delightful treat.

MATT: "Of course."

TRAVIS: Shall we?

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: "Certainly. Hopefully in a few weeks, come on back. We'll have a lot more to choose from; it'll be great. Please?"

ASHLEY: We will be back.

TALIESIN: Thank you, yeah.

ASHLEY: This is great.

LAURA: Maybe we can go to the Assembly and ask them to give us some of the stuff that they procured. I mean, we did help out, right?

TRAVIS: Well, I think supplies, that sounds like they were stocking up for the war effort.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: What would we ask them for, and why would we need it?

LIAM: Do I know if they had any sort of Assembly-sanctioned goods? Or does the Assembly just keep everything on lockdown for the Empire's use and not for sale? What would I remember?

MATT: From what your experience would tell you, the Assembly doesn't lock it down. A lot of the more powerful stuff is essentially relegated to Assembly-sanctioned use. They want to control who has access to which powerful magical items and artifacts are located or created. On record, keep tabs on it, so they know who has what, and, you know, in case anybody they know of who has any powerful item starts getting weird or goes rogue from their interests, they know what to be wary of. But there are, you know, like this shop, and specific individuals have been commissioned, but if they're underneath the banner of the Assembly, then everything has to go through approvals. There's paperwork involved, and in times of war, at least from what it seems, a lot of that is essentially cut off, and then everything is relegated to the war effort.

LIAM: Got it.

MATT: And it's just slowly trickling back to its previous normal.

LIAM: So we're not going to go-- there's no storefront with an Assembly sign on it.

MATT: No, almost everything is commissioned based on specific individuals. That's why this shop is pretty rare in its own right. It doesn't delve in powerful artifacts, it does more simple and common magics with the occasional item that comes through, it seems. But that's why it's not as heavily regulated.

LIAM: All right, well, let's-- Do we need to message to DeRogna again, or would Caleb know where she'd be hanging?

MATT: You'd know vaguely where she was. You had been there long enough to know-- You know the members of the Assembly, and could quickly ascertain which of their towers in the Candles there is theirs, so.

LIAM: Okay, well, let's do our little walkabout still. Are we halfway to the Academy at this point?

MATT: You guys are getting close to the edge of the Shimmer Ward. You do come past now the Chantry of the Dawn, the cathedral, which you wanted to check in on, Yasha. The beautiful exterior remains as you recall seeing it. There are repair crews working on it currently, as there was damage sustained to the structure, as well as the stained glass windows in the back of the entire temple were destroyed. So a lot of the damage is still under repair. The stained glass windows are still out. That's going to take a while to replace. It looks like a lot of it's been roped off, and most individuals that come to still do their worship of the Dawn Father do so more in the foyer area. So it's temporarily a much more diminished temple, but still functional for those who need it. But as you walk by, if you wanted to try and get inside of it, you can only get as far as that entryway, which you guys snuck past when you initially encountered it.

LAURA: What about my little tunnel that I painted? Is it still there?

MATT: You go and check?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: As you go over, no, it actually has been freshly masoned shut, as it was considered damage sustained in the battle. But it is odd. It's odd to walk back and have those memories flash back. It begins this link chain of remembering the last time you were here, when you reclaimed yourself, and then memories of Obann's influence, memories of the creatures you walked alongside, memories of the intent that you were being driven towards that was not your own, memories and flashes of even times that you had locked from your mind images of being in rainy plains of Xhorhas, images of being in rainy plains of Xhorhas, heavily bundled with a cloak, your sword behind you, as you walk from the outskirts of some sort of an outpost left in flames, being quelled by the rainfall as Obann comes up and touches your shoulder and says, "Well done." There's still elements of that trauma and that time that you can't fully recall. And for a moment that makes you a little dry of mouth and nauseous of stomach. But then you remember what you did to him, and how he was left, and you (inhale)-- (music intensifies)

MATT: -- feel better about the moment.

LAURA: (mimics music)

MATT: Yeah. The music got a little more intense than I expected. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Did you want to go inside?

MARISHA: Can we?

ASHLEY: I mean, I'm... I don't need to, but I mean, can we even go inside?

MARISHA: Yeah, I don't know if--

ASHLEY: I think it is roped off.

TRAVIS: That giant window's open. I'm sure we could--

MARISHA: Yeah. I mean, not that that ever stopped us if we wanted to, but it's up to you. Are you all right?

ASHLEY: Yeah, I'm okay. I don't think-- I don't feel like I need to go in there. But I'm glad it's being repaired.

MARISHA: You did good work here.

ASHLEY: Well...

MARISHA: Well...

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: You know, retrospectively.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I think so. And I'm also glad that I did not kill you.

MARISHA: Me, too.

ASHLEY: Yeah. Or any of you.

MARISHA: I'm glad we didn't kill you.

LIAM: Came out stronger than when you went in.

ASHLEY: Yeah, that's for sure. I think I am being rebuilt, just like the temple.

MATT: There's a chill as you conjecture and remember that you're still wearing that darkened armor and remember that you're still wearing that darkened armor that Obann placed upon you.

ASHLEY: (sighs) Do you guys want to move on?

MARISHA: I'm kind of hungry.

LIAM: I know a place.

MARISHA: Yeah?

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Grab some food, go see Vess?

LIAM: Yeah. I will lead them over to the Academy.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: And I will also try to-- we'll start there, but after that, I'd like to find that the dance hall and beer hall that I used to escape to occasionally with Astrid and Eadwulf.

MATT: Okay. Now you still have the papers that were given to you after your meeting with the king, and Ludinus gave you some ability to travel throughout Rexxentrum without issue while you were still under the watch. It hasn't been returned yet, but there was no expiration date. So as you walk towards the Shimmer Ward, there is a brief moment where there's some odd eyes as to these strangers walking into the more wealthy portion of the city, but with a brief discussion you're let inside. And you've been here once before, though you were being escorted towards the Ungebroch Castle within the terrace here, following Caleb's lead, you make your way towards the actual Academy Grounds, and you've seen this from a distance, but now up close, you can see the beautiful ivory towers and halls that intersect and lead into the large central building that is the Soltryce Academy proper, the beautiful verdant gardens and courtyards that surround it and seem to actually live within elements of it. There are greenhouse sections between the larger portions of the lead structure, where you can see interior greenery is kept beautifully. You can see students in robes out in the courtyard in the process of reading, you can see classes taking tours, you can see upon one of the towers there is a large stone sphere that itself is encased in a brass lattice that is slowly spinning in place and there is some sort of a lecture going on around it up there, and occasionally you see sparks off of it, as they can barely hear the muffled sounds of this lecture in the distance. It is beautiful. It is larger than anything you originally had imagined when you had first heard of the Soltryce Academy. And once again, that odd, echoing ghost of there being once a time that this was really the only goal you had, and yet for as large as it is, and as beautiful as it is, it still seems so small in comparison to everything you've seen since. Odd memories flood to you, good times, weird times, bad times, and you all can't help but notice the wash that comes over Caleb as his face goes a little slack with memory before you usher them on to your favorite drinking hole.

LIAM: As we were leaving the grounds, I point a few things out. That is where my room was at. And then there's another room that I spent a lot of time in there.

LAURA: What is that one?

LIAM: Those are the dorms.

LAURA: Whose room was the second one?

LIAM: (small sad laugh)

LAURA: (giggles)

LIAM: So young. Most of them. Not everyone is young, though. It's not too late if you'd like to apply.

TRAVIS: (wheezes) You know, I think... I think I'm okay.

ASHLEY: Oh, you wanted to go to school here.

MARISHA: Yeah, that was our first mission.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Was to get you a scholarship.

TRAVIS: Yeah, oh my god.

LAURA: I still have that piece of paper for your recommendation letter.

MARISHA: That's right.

TRAVIS: I didn't know anything about my abilities or magic, and I just figured that was where you went to learn.

LIAM: Well, you have the talent. You have the potential.

TRAVIS: You know, I think I'm okay.

LIAM: You might like it, though. It's an exciting place. A lot of bright minds and a lot of magic.

TRAVIS: You still have a reverence for it.

LIAM: I do. I do. Yeah, all kinds of people come through here. I was lucky enough to be chosen. Many, their parents pay their way here. It's not all magic. Some are just making sure that they can get a better standing here in Rexxentrum. But brilliant minds have come out of this place and great things have been achieved. We are going to be dealing with these folk quite a bit, so soak it in. Points up at a tower. Spent a lot of time in that one, too. And then I start to walk away from the grounds.

LAURA: What does that tower look like?

MARISHA: Is it Trent's? Is that the one we saw before?

MATT: No.

LIAM: Caleb does not elaborate.

LAURA: What does it look like? What did that tower look like?

LIAM: Well... I would only know the inside thoroughly.

MATT: So which tower is this?

LIAM: The one place where we would be locked here.

MATT: It looks not dissimilar from the other towers. It's not remarkable from the outside. It isn't like a specific, like, this is the darker tower. It's just a tower. But his tone is enough to make you go, hmm.

LIAM: But not too far, a few blocks down this way, is a place that I used to come to a lot. Well, not a lot, but when I would have free time, when we would have free time, we would come here and dance, and drink.

LAURA: Astrid.

LIAM: Uh-huh, yeah, and Eadwulf, my friend Eadwulf.

ASHLEY: You would dance?

LAURA: Caleb's a very good dancer.

ASHLEY: Seemed a little reluctant in Rumblecusp, but...

LIAM: Well, I like more structure. Not really a Martha Graham type. No.

LAURA: I start waltzing by myself, outside.

LIAM: Come in, come in. And I will lead them up to the main bar and get very large mugs, like this high, just of beer. And I pay for it, and I just start putting gigantic steins of beer in everyone's hands. So first, you have to drink everything that's in those glasses. Yeah, you, too.

TALIESIN: Oh, this is a thing, all right.

SAM: Welcome to Fuddruckers. Can I take your order? (laughter)

LIAM: This is Hofbräuhaus. So, drink your beers and then we'll have a dance and then we'll go get some business done.

TRAVIS: I like it. How do you say...?

LIAM: Prost.

TRAVIS: Prost.

LIAM: Prost, yeah.

LAURA: Prost!

TRAVIS: Prost.

MARISHA and ASHLEY: Prost.

TALIESIN: Prost.

TRAVIS: (gulping) Who drinks the fastest?

MATT: I dunno, everyone roll a constitution check.

SAM: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Cocked.

MATT: Not a saving throw, a check, so add the modifier.

TRAVIS: 17.

LIAM: 11.

ASHLEY: Natural one. (laughter)

TRAVIS: What??

TALIESIN: 19.

MARISHA: 11.

ASHLEY: I don't know what's happening.

LAURA: 21.

TRAVIS: Oh!

MATT: Jester is the first to finish before slamming the glass down. You all finish and cheer, oh! You're all looking at Jester and you're having that moment of like, holy shit, and then you all look over and notice that Yasha's still just taking her time. (laughter) Savoring it. Pinky out. It's one silver per, so six silver for the round.

LIAM: Oh no, bankrupt. Okay. And I start walking out onto the dance floor, and I nudge Jester towards Fjord, and I take Beauregard by the hand, and I began to waltz Beauregard.

MARISHA: I hate this shit, you know I hate the shit.

LIAM: That's all right.

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: I will lead, for once, and follow, for once.

MARISHA: All right.

TRAVIS: You know how to do this?

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Oh, okay.

LAURA: Put your hands here so it looks like you're leading me.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LAURA: Okay. (chuckling)

LIAM: Thank you.

MARISHA: What, for what?

LIAM: You know. For making a difference. For being my friend. For being patient. For walking into the lion's den with me. Expositor Lionett.

MARISHA: It's where I belong. I'm glad we're friends. I know it was a rocky start.

LIAM: I don't know what you're talking about.

MARISHA: Yeah, we were always great.

LIAM: We were always great.

MARISHA: Yeah, it was all in good fun.

LIAM: You drove me insane.

MARISHA: I hated you.

LIAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah, you sucked. (laughter)

MARISHA: But I tend to appreciate that.

LIAM: Try to keep up with the pace, please.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: Oh shit, sorry.

LIAM: It's all right.

LAURA: As Fjord and I are dancing, we're making circles around the room, I'm assuming?

LIAM: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: As we reach one side of the room, I reached into my pocket and I drop an oops-stone and keep on dancing. (laughter)

MARISHA: Yes!

MATT: All right. So have you checked what it does on D&D Beyond?

LAURA: Yes. Yes.

SAM: (fart noise)

MATT: The impact, silently, the 20-foot radius vicinity of the stone--

TRAVIS: 20-foot radius.

MATT: -- becomes noxious odor. Other people that are, like, afternoon dancing, and just in the process of enjoying the later part of the day, all begin just-- (coughing). "Oh!" They start shouting at each other in all sorts of angered curses, some in Common, some in Zemnian, but quickly the dance floor is--

MARISHA: I can understand them all now, thanks to Tongue of the Sun and Moon. I just hear, "Oh, fucking shit!"

MATT: Yeah, you pick up all the curses. That's true, that's true. The dance floor scatters and it's just you all dancing on the outskirts of the smell, and a bunch of people who are like, "What the hell?" They haven't even figured-- they haven't found the stone source yet, but they're all just like, "Oh, god!' One of the servers goes like, "Ugh!" is like retching in the corner.

TRAVIS: Jester, was that a gift from Thaydeen's, or should I just be very impressed?

LAURA: It was just one of the stones. Don't worry, Fjord. I would tell you if I really had to oops.

TRAVIS: That's incredible. (muffled tiny voice) "Oh, by the way, hold on. Let--" (normal voice) Do you hear that?

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: There's something... "Let me-- oh, let me go be with Jester." Do you hear the voice?

LAURA: Yeah, I hear it, I hear it.

TRAVIS: And I'll take out the little porcelain unicorn and be like, oh.

LAURA: (gasps)

TRAVIS: I think that's for you.

LAURA: Where did you get this?!

TRAVIS: I don't know. He was just trapped in my pocket.

LAURA: Oh, I love him!

TRAVIS: Yeah, just don't drop any oops-stones, okay?

LAURA: (as unicorn) "Thank you for giving me to Jester!"

TRAVIS: Yeah. Can we go back towards the other end?

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fjord! I give him a kiss on the cheek. Thank you so much.

TRAVIS: You're welcome.

LIAM: I swing past the other couple and push Beauregard towards Jester and I grabbed Fjord's hand and begin to lead Fjord around the room. Did she drop one of those stones?

TRAVIS: She did, yeah. It was Jester.

LAURA: (as unicorn) "Would you like this dance?"

MARISHA: Oh, it's so cute!

LIAM: Okay, well. I think we should stay another two minutes and then we should get out of here.

TRAVIS: Oh, really?

LIAM: Well, it smells very bad.

TRAVIS: Oh! (laughter)

LAURA: I shout over my shoulder. It goes away soon, don't worry.

LIAM: Nostalgia only goes so far. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Sitting with Yasha on the edge of this, watching.

ASHLEY: I imagine one of them let loose one of the stones?

TALIESIN: Yeah, no, right over there.

ASHLEY: It smells like a massive shit. (laughter)

SAM: Welcome to Fuddruckers. Can I take...

ASHLEY: Oh, yes, could we get actually two? Do you want another one?

TALIESIN: Oh no, one's my limit. But I'll have like a water or something like that.

ASHLEY: Yeah, water.

TALIESIN: That's going to go right to my head anyway.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: As I dance with Beau: Did you hear what Yasha said, Beau?

MARISHA: Wait, wait, which part?

LAURA: When we were at the chapel, she said... Um... she said... (laughter)

LAURA: I don't know.

MARISHA: I don't know.

LAURA: She said, "I'm so glad I didn't kill you."

MARISHA: Yeah, and did you hear what I told her back?

LAURA: "I'm glad I didn't kill you either."

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: That was like the most romantic thing, I think.

MARISHA: I know, right? Do you think she's into me?

LAURA: I think she's so into you. So I'm going to assume from you asking that you have not kissed her yet.

MARISHA: No, no, I feel like it's, like, ball's in her court, you know, because she's the one with the dead wife.

LAURA: That makes sense. That makes sense. But you know, here's the thing. You have to put yourself in the place that gives her the moment to make the move. You know what I mean?

MARISHA: Oh, Jester, you know I'm afraid of my future.

LAURA: (laughs)

MARISHA: Okay. What about you, where'd the, uh, unicorn come from?

LAURA: Fjord gave it to me.

MARISHA: I know, I saw him buy it!

LAURA: I didn't see it!

MARISHA: It was so cute, you were like, super distracted, like passing out oops-stones.

LAURA: I mean, I was!

MARISHA: I know, and then he, like-- I watched him do it.

LAURA: My arms are getting so tired.

MARISHA: Yeah, mine, too.

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah.

SAM: (laughs) Waltzing sucks.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Smells real bad in here, guys.

LAURA: It smells real bad, but it will go away so soon. But yeah, sorry about the smell.

MARISHA: Let's-- we'll get to this corner.

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: How long does an oops-stone last?

LAURA: 10 minutes.

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Literally took a shit under a table. (laughter)

MATT: If the stone is moved, it goes with it. But it's one-use only, so it becomes inert after that.

TRAVIS: Thank god.

TALIESIN: This has got to be a lot for you.

ASHLEY: I mean, it's fine. (laughter) How are you doing, Caduceus?

TALIESIN: Oh. Actually, I'm having a-- oh, I'm having a pretty good time, all things considered.

ASHLEY: Yes, it's a wave situation. So it'll go away and the it comes--

TALIESIN: You can't get used to it, because it keeps changing.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I think it's burning the hair in my nostrils. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Can taste it at the back of my throat.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I feel a little bit of the taste. It's kind of like...

TALIESIN: Feeling like-- I was thinking about seeing if there's patio seating.

ASHLEY: Yeah, should we go to the patio? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go see if there's a patio.

TALIESIN: Grab our drinks.

ASHLEY: Yeah. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Those drinks are probably ruined.

TALIESIN: Thaumaturgy to open all the doors and windows.

LAURA: Oh, smart.

MATT: (banging sounds) No one bats an eye. In this vicinity as well, there are numerous practitioners of all manner of magic. So Thaumaturgy is a simple, common trick.

TALIESIN: Oh, how are you doing?

ASHLEY: I'm doing well. I'm feeling a lot better.

TALIESIN: Starting to think about your future?

ASHLEY: I mean, yes. I guess. You know, thinking about what Nott said of, you know, do you know what your purpose is? And I mean, do you ever know?

TALIESIN: Well. We can make our best guess, but you know, everybody's haunted by who they were and who they thought they'd be. But if you can just be right here right now, there's options open to you. Don't have to think about what came before.

ASHLEY: That's a great thought. I'm working on it.

TALIESIN: Harder in practice than just to say it, but yeah.

ASHLEY: Yeah. It is nice to see everyone, and see everyone dancing and having a good time.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm not a dancer, really. Not this kind of dancing.

ASHLEY: What kind of dancing?

TALIESIN: Oh, big ridiculous bonfire dancing.

TALIESIN: Oh, big ridiculous bonfire dancing. This seems awkward to me.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I don't really know how to do the type of dancing they're doing. I understand bonfire dancing. I quite like dancing.

TALIESIN: I thought you might be the type.

ASHLEY: Yeah, this is a little stiff for me.

TALIESIN: It was great to see you fly, too.

ASHLEY: That was a thing, huh?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yeah. I had a dream. I guess it was a... a vision, the night before. And I thought... in the vision, my wings came out. So I thought maybe it would be real, and it was, so I don't know why that happened.

TALIESIN: Well, your chains are broken now.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: So now, I guess, what's holding you back?

ASHLEY: I guess nothing.

TALIESIN: Hmm. I think a lot about-- I've been to a lot of funerals. I mean a lot.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: You know what the most common thing that someone says at a funeral is?

ASHLEY: "I'm sad?" I don't know.

TALIESIN: "I thought I had more time."

ASHLEY: Mmm.

TALIESIN: Every time, at least two. So, with that in mind, I don't know, think about what's holding you back still. Those chains are definitely gone.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: Man, those the wings, that's cool.

MATT: Caduceus. Maybe it's just been the chaos the past week or two, Maybe it's just been the chaos the past week or two, but having this moment with the Yasha, the proximity, and just really perceiving who she is as a person in this moment, one thing you do catch, which is curious, is at the roots of her hair, you see a lighter color.

TALIESIN: Do dye your hair?

ASHLEY: No.

TALIESIN: Really?

ASHLEY: Y-y-yeah.

TALIESIN: When was the last time you looked in the mirror?

ASHLEY: I don't know, I guess it's been a little while.

TALIESIN: Let me give you one. And I'm going to change into Yasha.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: (laughs) Wow. Oh! Oh!

TALIESIN: Yeah.

ASHLEY: It's like how my hair used to be.

TALIESIN: So this is new, or old now, but new at one point?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Well, that is interesting. Back.

ASHLEY: I don't know what's happening.

TALIESIN: I think you're getting better.

ASHLEY: What does that mean?

TALIESIN: I don't know.

ASHLEY: Okay. So... I guess I'll just keep doing what I'm doing, then.

TALIESIN: I think you should keep moving forward. I don't necessarily know if what you're doing is always moving forward. Sometimes it's moving backwards, sometimes it's moving sideways, but I would recommend don't think that you have more time necessarily than you might have. Patience is fine, but it can curdle into apathy.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: Better call home, actually, now that I think about it. Gotta go home sometime.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I don't wanna. I mean, I want to, but I don't want to yet.

ASHLEY: How are you doing with all that?

TALIESIN: It's complicated. I miss it, but I'm afraid sometimes I'd miss this more.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: It's hard to pick. I think I might feel different once I feel like everyone's safe, or at least heading in the direction they need to be.

ASHLEY: I have a feeling we're not going to be safe for a while.

TALIESIN: Not for a while.

ASHLEY: So you might be stuck with us a little bit longer.

TALIESIN: That's a fine future.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I will eventually be home, though. And it will be wonderful.

ASHLEY: I think so, too. And I think you're pretty great, Caduceus.

TALIESIN: Thank you. I think you're pretty great, too.

ASHLEY: Thank you.

TALIESIN: I don't want to go back in there. It smells terrible.

ASHLEY: It's still coming out of the windows and the door.

TALIESIN: It's just leaking.

ASHLEY: Yeah. It's just like a leaky butt.

LAURA: We bust out. We come out of the-- It's too much!

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: I'm sorry I did it. It's too much!

ASHLEY: But you know, we know it works. That was just one stone!

MARISHA: I think the busboy barfed. (laughs) (laughter)

MARISHA: Well, that was fun.

LAURA: Caleb?

LIAM: Thank you. Yeah, let's go see Lady DeRogna.

MATT: All right.

LIAM: And Caleb will hang at the door and look back in and just remember for 10 seconds, and then go.

MATT: You got it.

MATT: Eventually, following Caleb. You're not that far as the Candles, in a semicircle pattern, these eight towers that represent members of the Cerberus Assembly, encircle the Castle Terrace. And where you are is not but a 10-minute walk before you come upon what's known colloquially as the Two-Facet Tower. It's a tall, deep green-gray tower that forks into two smaller towers of differing heights, a variation like that. It is immense and elegant in its simplicity. A number these towers, you see in the distance. Some have various levels of gaudy detail and decor, massive lush courtyards and surrounding constructs in worshiping presence to whoever the person who's claimed it it may be. This is on the more simple scale. As you step to the front door, it is a large, 10-foot by six-foot, deep gray wood door. The slats are smooth and polished and are affixed to each other with a very, very dark bronze or brass-type metal bands in three different places. There is a heavy knocker attached to the front made of the same metal material. And you can see the ring seems to be inside the mouth of a griffon of some kind.

LAURA: We knock?

LIAM: (knocking)

MATT: The door (clicks, creaking) opens up slightly and leads into the interior. There's nobody to greet you, but as you do look inside, your eyes adjust a bit to the low-lit interior. It is as elegant and simple inside as you would imagine it would be, in comparison to the outside. You are now standing in the middle of a gorgeous foyer chamber at the base of this tower. A lot of dark wood, gold leaf surround the marble floors. And you can see there's a staircase on the back that curves upward with a very intricately carved banister that rides along it that looks almost like a curving snake of some kind that just makes its way up and out of view as it heads upward. You can see a central rug over the marble flooring that has beautiful inlaid pattern designs that match the circular shape of it. There are two dark gray, almost black velvet seated benches that face each other in this atrium chamber, if you will. The only way you see is up, but as you step in, the door-- (thudding) It closes behind you. You all jump ever so slightly. It's comfortable in here. The temperature is a little warmer than the colder day of Rexxentrum. There's a brief quiet moment as you all are looking at each other and taking in the surroundings before a sourceless voice echoes around the air above and around you. (as Vess) "Welcome. I'm so glad you could make it and with relatively good time. Please, join me upstairs for some tea and conversation."

LIAM: Caleb will start walking up.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: (whispering) Wizard tower!

TRAVIS: I'll also go.

LAURA: I hope she's got cookies to go with the tea.

TRAVIS: I'll casually activate See Invisibility just as we're inside, for an hour.

MATT: You've got it. Okay. As you invoke See Invisibility, there's a brief moment of shock as you see four invisible figures that just sit in the sides of the room, unmoving. Humanoid, but still shapeless and translucent. You've had some experience with Unseen Servants before, but there are four of them that are just standing at the ready for any command. Not reacting to your presence at all.

TRAVIS: So far so good.

MATT: As you ascend the heavy staircase following the curvature, the stair curvature seems to be wider than your initial casing of the width of the tower. And what you thought would be a shorter jaunt to the next floor seems to go a little longer than you anticipated. By the time it comes around, you are now met with this beautiful lounge-like space. The floor has this thick, carpeted, deep-set red coloration to it. There is a large white marble fireplace across the way where you see a roaring fire burns and crackles on the inside. There is a beautiful portrait across it, about eight to 10 feet wide by five feet tall that looks to show, curiously enough, the broken landscape of Xhorhas. You can see a number of pillars that carry statues and sculptures of odd creatures and beasts, heads and busts. They're beautifully detailed and all terrifying to some degree. You recognize one of them to be similar to that creature that you saw fleeing that tyrannosaurus, that gray-blue and white-haired creature, long jaw. It has somewhat human characteristics, but everything is elongated and perverted in this monstrous way. Another one you can see, it looks to have a smooth head with these deep-set eyes, a featureless, sloped forehead and the mouth goes into these long tendrils that end about chest of its bust. There are other creatures you do not recognize, and there are sculptures in the walls as well. Imagine if you see a trophy head room where a hunter keeps their trophies, but these are all just stone reliefs and sculptures and depictions of various monstrosities around Exandria. But here they sit like art in the space around. It's off-putting, intentional or not. But nevertheless, this is the chamber you've walked into. There are a number of chairs arranged in a sort of semicircle pattern, a beautiful polished cherry wood in color. a beautiful polished cherry wood in color. Antique-looking chairs, but very well kept, and as you begin to step towards them, they all at once uniformly scoot back to give space for you to step towards them. You look at the chairs and as you look up, where previously you were taking in the vicinity, but you almost feel like you-- how did you not realize she was there the entire time? Was she there the entire time? You see, sitting in a similar chair across the way from a table that has an arrangement of small treats and cookies and crumpets and scones and a very unique-looking tea kettle or tea pot of some kind, along with arranged saucers and cups, you see the familiar face of Lady Vess DeRogna sitting in a simple, elegant green robe to match the exterior of the tower. Her shortish brown hair that curls ever so slightly at the tips. Her half-elven features, in that just coasting into the middle age of a half-elf look. Very striking. She, at first, has a hard concentrating look as she takes a sip of her tea and then sits down and then it softens as you approach. "Please have a seat, Mighty Nein."

LAURA: I'm going to take the seat closest to the the scones and the cookies.

MATT: "I'm sorry, does this arrangement bother you? I thought as adventurers it would be more welcoming to see."

LAURA: Where did you get all of these?

MATT: "I created it. She makes one gesture with her hand and you watch all the art pieces shimmer and change into just beautiful sculptures of people, artistry and poses and such. "Is this more to your liking?"

LIAM: Either way, I would not have been surprised if you had collected these. I would expect no less from the Archmage of Antiquity.

LAURA: Can you make it be anything?

MATT: "Within a certain amount of reason."

LAURA: Can you make it look like a candyland in here?

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: "Probably. So." (laughter)

MATT: "Please have some tea, if you'd like. This is made from the paragon mint, from the Fields of Elysium."

LAURA: Whoa.

LIAM: One of ours-- Caduceus, here-- is a bit of an aficionado--

TALIESIN: Quite nice.

LIAM: -- of tea.

LAURA: (with mouth full) Where are the cookies from?

MATT: "Hmm?"

LAURA: Where are the cookies from?

MATT: "Oh, the cookies were brought from a local baker. I still like to make sure that I support the smaller local businesses."

SAM: It's nice, wow. Yeah.

MATT: So those who drink the tea get 3d6 temporary hit points. It is, as a tea aficionado, it has that initial mint flavor, and then it becomes less flavor and more experiential. The flavor becomes instead like a nice memory. Like finding-- it's a nostalgia-like experience, the flavor. And thinking, something that was taking, that was actually farmed-- If this is indeed farmed from the Fields of Elysium, which is not of this plane, it is a godly plane. This is probably the type of experience you would expect having that kind of tea.

LIAM: I rolled really well, and I'm still not over a hundred hit points. (laughter)

MATT: All right.

LIAM: It's nice that we can be exchanging pleasantries here at home.

MATT: "Of course."

LIAM: Not far out at sea.

MATT: "You have done quite a bit of service to the Empire. Ludinus speaks highly of your involvement in bringing this peace to a close."

LIAM: We've been preoccupied with some side matters of our own. I'm curious, what is the news in the short time that has elapsed since this big change?

MATT: "Well, since the exchange, emissaries have been sent to the front lines. Generals have been returning with their armed forces on both sides. Conflicts have been at a minimum, and there is a plan in place that has been discussed at length between both ours and the Dynasty's individuals to close any sort of boundary conflicts. We stay on our side, they stay on theirs."

LIAM: You feel the peace will hold?

MATT: "No. At least not entirely. You look smart enough to know that one peace does not necessarily mean everything is at peace. This war has been going on for far longer than it has been declared."

LIAM: We have spent a lot of time traveling on the other side of the border and the wounds run deep.

MATT: "Well."

LAURA: (munching) (laughter)

LIAM: But for now the peace perhaps will hold, and both sides can take stock and maybe see a better way.

MATT: "It is-- the step that has been made is a step that will save the most lives. The outward peace means that most innocents will not be sent to their deaths fighting for things they do not necessarily understand or believe in. But conflict is not over."

LIAM: No. Personally, it is something that I still very much hope for, but we are a pragmatic bunch and understand the realities of the world.

MATT: "So I've heard."

LIAM: But for now, there is peace. We have not yet forgotten your offer to collaborate, and have decided perhaps we can be of use to the Empire and do some good and earn some coin and earn a living. You know that my roots are here in Rexxentrum and while I am not of the cloth, as it were, I figure that I and my friends could do a bit of freelance work. If it still pleases you.

MATT: "It will, very much. You've done quite a bit of good under Ludinus, and if I'm to have you work with me, I would like to share a truth with you. Do not trust Ludinus."

LAURA: (huffs) Why?

MARISHA: To be fair, I don't think we did.

MATT: "Good. It is why I have contacted you. Discerning eyes is useful. I would ask that whatever business we are doing, we keep between us. Outwardly, as I'm sure there will be inquisition, there would be individuals asking. Curiosities, perhaps even Ludinus himself. You are to be my bodyguards."

LAURA: Or really?

MATT: "Well, perhaps really to an extent, but what the world outside of this room would know is that you are to be my bodyguards. To keep me safe, after proving your capabilities in escorting the beacon and such artifacts of power to a successful negotiation. Proved to me that you have the strength to keep an individual of such importance also safe. And where I wish to go, there is very little safety."

MARISHA: And where do you wish to go?

MATT: "How much do you know of Eiselcross?"

TRAVIS: Eisel-huh? Eiselcross?

MATT: "Eiselcross."

MARISHA: Eiselcross.

LAURA: Do we know anything about Eiselcross?

LIAM: We do know a little bit. It's a bit of a graveyard for an older civilization.

MATT: "One of many."

MARISHA: The name has passed our periphery a few times.

MATT: "It is in the Biting North, beyond the Greying Wildlands."

TRAVIS: Oh, it's at the top of this map. (laughter)

MATT: "It is a place of ice and desolation and very remote sparks of civilization. It is also known by some, and believed by scholars who are in the know, to be the site where one of the pre-Calamity arcanist societies and civilizations found its end. Specifically, the city of Aeor."

TRAVIS: How do you spell Aeor?

MATT: A-E-O-R. "This was a society that had advanced the mortal extent of arcanist research to believe they had discovered a way to eradicate divinity in its entirety."

LAURA: What?

MATT: "This is at least what the records say. And had wished to construct weapons or a weapon, that would be capable of perhaps even killing a god. And for a brief moment in time, both Prime and Betrayer turned an eye towards this city and brought it to ruin. And we thought lost for a long time until but a few decades back, relics began to find themselves uncovered across Eiselcross. There are numerous sites that are just now being uncovered, where bits and broken pieces of Aeor, are believed to have been found. I know of a location, an excavation, in the middle of Foren, the largest and central island of Eiselcross, where the bulk of Aeor's ruins still remain frozen and lost beneath the surface. Now, this is of course of research interest to many, but if any of these weapons, these powerful weapons, whether against divine or just by the nature of their arcane research were to be uncovered by the Dynasty forces that currently seek to get to them before we do... Even if this peace was taken, this shadow war that we still maintain up north and beneath the semblance of peace? It would be quickly over. And it is without a doubt that the very Zemni Fields would be alight with flames."

LIAM: And what is the Assembly's intentions there? What are your intentions? And what do you believe Ludinus' intentions are?

MATT: "Ludinus' intentions are as they've always been: to maintain personal power and to ensure that there is no one that could possibly rise against him. Whether it be within the Assembly, the court of the king, anyone. He doesn't wish to become an emperor, not overtly, but you do not need to parade as a king to be the one that makes the decision that changes everything. That is what Ludinus is, and the worst that could happen is if that is challenged."

LIAM: Sensed a bit of tension between the two of you.

MATT: "There's plenty tension between all of us."

LIAM: And why should we trust you--

MATT: "Oh, you shouldn't."

LIAM: -- over Ludinus? Oh, okay.

MATT: "But I ask for us at least to align our interests."

LIAM: What are you seeking to do to? To secure these weapons and use them for the might of the Empire or to sequester them away?

MATT: "I would need to know the nature of these weapons first. But the weapons are only one of my interests. I'm more curious about Aeor specifically. About what really brought it to its end. So little actual recorded history of what's happened there exists. Its languages--"

MARISHA: Insight check.

MATT: Go for it.

LIAM: Yeah, I was about to say the same thing.

MATT: Both of you.

MARISHA: Let's both do it. Let's both roll.

LAURA: Just outside question. The Happy Fun Ball, that was pre-Calamity? That was from a wizard that was pre-Calamity, right?

MATT: Correct.

LAURA: I can't remember. It's been a while.

MATT: Yes.

LAURA: ♪ Been a while ♪

MATT: (chuckles)

MARISHA: 19.

LIAM: 28.

LAURA: Whoa.

TRAVIS: Come on down to funtown.

MARISHA: (whoops)

MARISHA: She want those weapons?

TRAVIS: 28.

MATT: Well, she said the weapons are one interest.

MARISHA: Oh, they're one interest? Okay.

LIAM: Then said she's a history buff.

MATT: "There are Assembly interests looking for this. There are Empire interests looking for this. There are Dynasty interests looking for this. There are Uthodurnian interests looking for this. There are interests beyond Wildemount that are just hearing about these excavations. So... myself and some other members of the Assembly would be remiss if we didn't shoot for the opportunity to at least control who gets to these first."

MARISHA: Who are the other members of the Assembly?

MATT: "For the safety of yourselves, it's best you not know."

MATT: "I am your contact--"

MARISHA: Feels very counterintuitive.

MATT: "There's an element of plausible deniability here because there are so many interests peering in towards whatever work we'll be doing. I just wish to reduce the chance for there being backlash for those who put their faith in me."

TRAVIS: Eiselcross, you said it was icy, desolate, lots of fire, by any chance? (laughter)

TALIESIN: Been thinking that the whole time. (laughter)

LIAM: Oh, that buyer's remorse. (laughter)

MATT: She turns to you with a curious glance. "On the surface, no, it is a frozen, icy plain."

TRAVIS: (strained) Good. Good.

MATT: "Within such ruins, however, who knows what sort of arcane dangers and lost experiments reside deep-- and I mean deep-- within this city. It is not a surface construct. This was a multi-tiered, multilayer, floating pinnacle, of the pre Calamity, mortal arcanist interests."

TRAVIS: Does it still float or did it--?

MATT: "Oh, no, it crashed into Eiselcross and was buried beneath the earth and ice. I wish to go there. I wish you to accompany me. I wish for us to find really anything of interest, as far as you're comfortable going. Whatever you find, whether it be artifacts, magical items that are not pertaining to historical relevance, is yours to keep. I have no interest of such things. And you will be paid well for this."

TRAVIS: This room seems to be on lockdown, but no sort of scrying orbs or anything?

MATT: "By any means, no. There's a reason we keep these," and she pulls a small amulet that looks like an owl clutching a pearl, not dissimilar to the one that you wear.

SAM: Did you get it back?

LAURA: Yeah, you got it for him.

LIAM: I assume you know, there is a bit of bad blood between myself and my former instructor.

MATT: "Indeed."

LIAM: You are comfortable with that?

MATT: "I am comfortable with any bad blood. I deal with it constantly. And your previous instructor is not... the most delightful of individuals either."

LIAM: I am curious about that. Do you mind my asking? What is your own relationship with him like?

MATT: "Perhaps if we traveled together, we'll have plenty of time to discuss this as we get to know each other."

LIAM: This suits me, if it suits the group.

MARISHA: As a member of the Cobalt Soul, as an expositor, how does that sit with you? And have you had any discussions with the monastery on this? And have you had any discussions with the monastery on this?

MATT: "Of course not. We are not allowed within their premises because of the history that we represent and certain members of our esteemed Assembly. But I assure you, any findings and research, when I'm complete, I'm more than happy to relinquish to the Cobalt Soul myself."

MARISHA: Well. I'll make sure of that.

MATT: "Good."

ASHLEY: For clarification, you said that it was a floating city that crashed into the--?

MATT: "Into the region of Eiselcross, yes."

ASHLEY: Okay.

LAURA: Why?

ASHLEY: I was just wondering. You're sure it crashed there?

MATT: "Well, what records there are of Aeor and its final historical demise speak of it being-- the gods smiting it from the very sky, and having it vanish on the horizon to the north. And was thought lost maybe beneath the Frozen Depths, but these excavations up in Eiselcross have begun to show relics from Aeor and have released creatures of experimentation that some of the few fragments of historical record speak of."

TRAVIS: And you have not yet been to Eiselcross yourself?

MATT: "I have been to Eiselcross, the outskirts, but not these specific ruins. I have dabbled in some of the smaller excavations, which are more of pieces that crumbled off during its descent. There are bits of it scattered across Eiselcross, but the core, the very beating heart of this civilization, the mass of the city, it is still, I believe, and many believe, there in Foren. There, in Foren."

SAM: Another map!

LAURA: Yes, yes, yes!

ALL: Yes!

LIAM: Oh, that glare.

MARISHA: Foren.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it's good.

MATT: Little bright?

SAM: Exposure, exposure!

ALL: Ah!

ASHLEY: Wow.

LIAM: Beautiful.

TRAVIS: Tasty.

MARISHA: Foren, all right.

MATT: There you go, that'll help.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

SAM: Foren. Allowak's--

LAURA: Frostbogen.

SAM: Balenpost.

MARISHA: Allowak's Sanctuary.

TRAVIS: Oh, it's a good one.

LAURA: Can you text a picture of it to us?

MATT: I will do that to you guys, don't worry.

MARISHA: We're in an IKEA.

LIAM: We have a few loose ends to tie up before we can go, but that can be taken care of rather promptly. When do you wish to leave, and by what means of travel?

MATT: "Well, I would like to travel hopefully within the next week, if possible. Means of travel is an interesting conversation. I, myself," and she gives you a look for a moment, Caleb, "and perhaps you as well, are less limited than others in our ability to travel. The curious element of Aeor's location is its presence has continued to weave all sorts of wild, unchecked magic oddities across the continent. magic oddities across the continent. For instance," and she gestures to the map. it is a frozen place, but Foren specifically is divided by a seemingly sourceless river of perpetually flowing lava."

LAURA: (gasps)

TRAVIS: Lava! (cheering)

MATT: "There are all manner of strange impossibilities across Eiselcross that continue to support the thesis that Aeor resides there. And there are some who have used magic to transport and been sent awry."

TRAVIS: Oh.

MARISHA: Oh boy.

LIAM: That's bad.

MATT: "I've only had one experience with this and found myself thrust about three miles above the Frozen Depths. Plummeted quite a bit before I caught myself and was able to return home. So we will not be transporting there by magical means."

TRAVIS: Oh, shit.

LAURA: Why didn't you just polymorph immediately when you were falling? Into like a bird or something.

SAM: Backseat spellcaster?

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: "Because it's much easier for me to just float for a bit and then return by more instantaneous means."

LAURA: So you can be falling and then like, (poof) and you can transport back to here?

MATT: "Well, I can glide myself down to a body of land and then send myself back."

LAURA: Oh, okay, okay. I can do that, too.

MATT: "Good. That may come in handy for you. We will-- the intent is to travel to the Palebank Village to the very north of the Greying Wildlands across the Crystalsands Tundra. It is a small outpost helmed by a number of individuals from Uthodurn and has become an important outpost of travel between the Empire and Eiselcross. By that, we will take an icebreaker ship to the westward way."

SAM: Icebreaker ship! (cheering, laughter)

MARISHA: Ice pirates!

ASHLEY: Yes!

LAURA: Ice pirates. (laughs)

MATT: "To the village of Balenpost, the Empire's central outpost there on Foren. the Empire's central outpost there on Foren. There, we will meet with some of the individuals who have also tasked to help us with this and make a plan from there."

TRAVIS: Like we just got the itinerary for a dope fucking cruise.

MARISHA and ASHLEY: Yeah!

MARISHA: Salmon fishing at 9:00am.

LIAM: We will whisk away to Palebank Village and then start moving snail mail on the ground then.

MATT: "Indeed. We will meet up with Dagen Underthorn, is our contact at Balenpost."

LAURA and MARISHA: Dagen Underthorn.

MATT: "He will be our expedition guide. So. We have not even discussed payment. Upon a satisfactory journey of which I deem, your group is to be paid in full 75,000 gold pieces."

TRAVIS: (laughs)

LAURA: Fjord, you could buy lots of fire rings for that.

LIAM: Ja, think of how many fire rings you could purchase with that. One on every finger.

MATT: "And this is in addition to whatever is found within this excavation, within these ruins that does not pertain to historical interest. So do you find these terms acceptable?"

LAURA: Sounds like it's going to be super dangerous.

MATT: "I guarantee it."

LIAM: Ja. Ja?

MARISHA: And your only mission is just an education-based one?

MATT: "Primarily, yes."

TRAVIS: To reach the heart of Foren.

MATT: "To reach the location of central Aeor's ruin and delve within it to prevent others from acquiring such knowledge before we do. And if anything notably dangerous is uncovered of Aeorian technology, to make sure does not fall into the hands of the Dynasty and other factions that would see it misused or against us."

LIAM: The arms race continues.

TRAVIS: I'm in.

MARISHA: All right.

LIAM: It makes sense.

TALIESIN: We have some loose ends to tie up. We have one more member to talk to, but I think they'll be agreeable.

MATT: "Good. Retrieve them.

LAURA: Ceviche!

SAM: Mm, more ceviche, please!

MATT: "Return here when you are ready. Let me know in advance please, as you did."

LAURA: We always let people know in advance before we show up. We wouldn't dream of just interrupting you.

MATT: "I would recommend preparing some warm clothing."

MARISHA: And do you think we should prepare to run into any Dynasty soldiers?

MATT: "I think that would be wise."

MARISHA: Okay. Who are we going to fucking run into? What?

LIAM: That's complicated.

MARISHA: Yeah, I know, I know.

LIAM: I mean, it's not complicated; it's--

MARISHA: Sidebar. This is Marisha talking.

MATT: No, I know, I know.

LAURA: If we find stuff to kill a god, are you going to kill gods?

MATT: "I have no interest in divinity. They can't touch us here."

LAURA: They can't touch you here?

MATT: "Not directly."

LAURA: (laughs) I have news to tell you. They got chains. They can drag you into the sky anytime they want to. Literally, anytime.

TALIESIN: We had a very rough week.

MATT: "Apparently. I have little interest in divinity. It is a very useful tool when distracting a populace, and that has been proven time and time again, through history. I'm more interested in the pursuit of the individual. Less the soul, more what the hand and mind can do."

LIAM: Hear, hear.

MATT: "Hear, hear. Well then, we have an accord. We'll be discussing things soon. I look forward to our journey, and I hope you enjoyed the tea."

LAURA: Thank you. Thank you so much. Can I take some of these cookies with me? If you're not going to eat all of them.

MATT: "Be my guest."

LAURA: Thank you.

TRAVIS: Into the bag. The whole thing?

TALIESIN: Plates and all.

SAM: (clanging) (laughter)

MATT: As you finish, the cookies getting in there. You all look up, you all look at Jester during this and you look back to the chair and the chair's empty.

TRAVIS: Damn.

SAM: Ooh.

TALIESIN: Batman.

MATT: She totally Batman'ed you.

TRAVIS: That's cool.

TRAVIS: 7th-level, who can disappear in and out of the foyer. (laughter)

SAM: As each candy was going into her bag, Sprinkle was just like, "I want it."

TALIESIN: What I got?

TRAVIS: Wow.

MATT: Do you guys make your exit from the tower?

LIAM and MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: I walk over to one of the Unseen Servants as we walk out. (smacks) (laughter)

MATT: There's a (thudding). You exit the tower. The door closes behind you, and now you stand among, on the street, here in the Candles, taking in the discussion you just had.

TRAVIS: We're going to need warmer clothes. Like, much warmer than even when we were in Xhorhas.

LAURA: I like the cold. But yeah, probably.

MARISHA: Wow.

LIAM: Well. Anyone feel like going to Nicodranas for dinner?

MARISHA: Yeah, sounds great. Could go for some ceviche.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

SAM: (laughs)

TALIESIN: I was just thinking the same thing.

MATT: A young student in the robes of the Soltryce Academy, from a distance, you can hear the footsteps approach as this young, 16, 17-year-old boy with mousy brown hair, cut short, approaches. "Ah, very sorry to bother you. Are you Bren?"

SAM and LAURA: (gasp)

MARISHA: Oh shit.

LIAM: Ja.

MATT: "Here," and hands a letter, a wax-sealed letter to you. "(sighs)," and then just heads off.

LIAM: Tschuss.

LAURA: Who is it? What's it from?

MATT: Check the back of your binder.

SAM: Did you slip something in there?

TRAVIS: The back of your binder?!

SAM: There's a letter in there!

MARISHA: That's so cool!

MATT: I can't hand you stuff across the table anymore because of the pandemic, so I had to get in there a while back and sneak it in there.

LAURA: You sneaky--!

LIAM: (screams)

TRAVIS: Don't touch it with your bare hand-- oh god!

SAM: There has been a murder. Everyone here is a suspect.

LIAM: You are invited to my eldritch birthday party. (laughter)

LAURA: What does it say, Caleb?

SAM: You may already be a winner.

LIAM: "Bren, It has come to my attention that you are visiting the capital this day. I must say, word of your patriotic deeds for the Empire give my old heart a warming glow. As I suspected, it seems some pupils can only thrive when you let them go to find their own path a while."

MARISHA: (whispering) Icky.

TRAVIS: Fuck.

LIAM: "I'm quite impressed by your accomplishments thus far and would greatly appreciate the presence of you and your companions as dinner guests at my manor tomorrow evening, Astrid and Eadwulf will be joining us as well. So consider this a proper family reunion. I do hope you consider my invitation, Bren. I gather we both have much we would like to say."

MATT: And that's where we'll end tonight's episode.

ALL: Oh no!

TRAVIS: Fucking sneaky-ass DM!

SAM: I'm going to check the back of mine.

LAURA: I know, right? Anything?

SAM: (gasps) He put this in there! He's an ad wizard! (laughter)

MARISHA: Wow.

LIAM: Cool.

MATT: All righty, we'll pick up on there next episode.

TRAVIS: I'm so excited.

MARISHA: Wow.

LIAM: Me too, me too. Eiselcross.

MARISHA: Eiselcross!

SAM: Oh, man.

MATT: This is going to be different. All righty, well, thank you all for joining us. Have yourself a wonderful week. We love you very much. And is it Thursday yet? Good night.