Transcript:Heart-to-Heartmoor

List of Transcripts

Pre-Show
MATT: Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

ALL: (hollering) We play Dungeons & Dragons!

MATT: Tonight marks Critical Role's seventh year anniversary. (cheering) We've been doing this shit for way too long. Thank you for coming along with us, and watching us ungracefully age all this time. (laughter) We are genuinely super thrilled to celebrate this with all of you. This is such an incredibly special occasion. Whether via Twitch, YouTube, or apparently in theaters with other Critters, which is crazy things to say right now. That doesn't make sense. But welcome, those of you who are here. Thank you for coming along for this wild ride, whether it be just this is day one, or you've been with us since the very first time we aired, just so appreciative. This is so weird that we're still able to do this together, and still be weird and wild, and it's fine. So--

SAM: It's fine.

MATT: It's fine. It's fine.

ASHLEY: Go get your snacks.

MATT: Yeah, okay. (laughs) But thank you. We'll go ahead and get this off, before we jump into the game, with some announcements beginning with our first sponsor of the night, Cash App. Sam.

SAM: Yeah, boy! Welcome one, welcome all to the first ever Cash App presents: The Finger Championship Games. I'm Vince McSam, owner of and promoter of the FCG, and the first thing you need to know is all the cash in my hands is fake. Why? Because I use Cash App, the easiest way to send, spend, and save money, and the reigning champion number one finance app in the App Store. Speaking of winners, it's time to crown one in The Finger Championship Games. Yeah, boy! This ain't your grandpa's wrestling circuit. No bloated beef cakes here. At the FCG, all the thumbtastic action happens with your fingers in... the Finger Ringer. Yeah, boy!

MATT: What the hell?!

SAM: To kick off the high digital action, Cash App has scheduled an exhibition match for the ages. I'd like to introduce two of my finest rookie finger wrestlers. First up, weighing in at 6.2 ounces, and fighting through a hangnail injury, it's Travis "The Palm Pilot" Willingham. Yeah, boy! (cheering)

TRAVIS: Why do you keep saying, "Yeah, boy"?

SAM: Save it for the match, Palm Pilot. And the holy grail of fingernails, the honeysuckle knuckle, the hand that understands, the Bride of Chucky from Kentucky, it's Marisha "Finger Blaster" Ray! (cheering)

MARISHA: Not the name that I agreed to.

SAM: Let's get right to the match. I want a clean fight. No snapping, no flicking, nothing above the wrist. First one to pin gets a huge prize that I will conveniently send to you via Cash App.

MARISHA: Oh, how much is the prize?

SAM: All right, you ready? Let's get prepared to thumble! Go, fight, it's on, music is playing.

MARISHA: I don't know how to do this, just--

TRAVIS: Bitch.

SAM: Oh, oh!

MARISHA: Don't you come after Finger Blaster! (yelling)

SAM: Oh, that's a knuckle breaker from Marisha "The Finger Blaster" Ray! (yelling) (taps)

SAM: One, two, three, it's over, it's over! (yelling)

SAM: Marisha, you win the grand prize. I'll send it to you.

MARISHA: How much is the prize? I don't have Cash App.

SAM: Oh, well, it's easy to download at the App Store and Google Play Store, and if you sign up now, new users can use code CRITROLE, that's CRITROLE, for $15, and $10 will go to our very own Critical Role Foundation. Terms apply.

MARISHA: Oh, that's cool. How much is the prize?

SAM: Also, you can do your investing in Cash App by buying any stock for as little as one dollar.

MARISHA: Cool. The prize.

SAM: Find out next time Cash App sponsors the show. Matt, back to you. Yeah, boy!

TRAVIS: (laughs)

LAURA: (claps)

TRAVIS: I think I pulled a finger. (laughter)

MATT: I almost--

MARISHA: Oh no, can we get a finger medic?

TRAVIS: A finger medic! That sounds wrong. (laughter)

MATT: Thank you, Sam. I almost hate that character as much as I actually hate Vince McMahon, so well done.

TRAVIS: Job well done.

MATT: Almost, he's still the worst.

ASHLEY: Oh god.

TRAVIS: (grunts)

MARISHA: (shouts)

MATT: To carry that same intense energy forward, tonight's episode is also sponsored by our friends at Griffon's Saddlebag, and their highly anticipated Book Two, sequel of the first 5e compendium, containing over 500 magical items, 12 subclasses, two playable races even, and 14 campaign agnostic settings. With more than 400 pages in this big boy, GMs and players alike can look forward to finding a treasure trove of exciting new content to enjoy. (groans) Every magic item, subclass, and race is illustrated, written, and balanced using the core rule books as a guide, making sure the contents of this book don't throw off the balance of your game. Now, I have first book. It's amazing, and you can check out everything available for this special campaign, including an actual leatherette Saddlebag backpack, right now at bit.ly/CRSaddlebag2.

SAM: Nice.

MATT: It's fucking awesome.

LIAM: Snap into it.

LAURA: What's the bag look like? I want to see the bag.

MATT: The back, it's got all of this.

LAURA: No, the bag!

MATT: The bag? I don't have the bag! No one gave me a bag!

ASHLEY: Where's the leatherette bag?!

MATT: I'm sorry, I don't have it with me! But it's, oh, there it is! (cheering)

ASHLEY: Cool.

LAURA: That's cute!

LIAM: That's really cool.

MATT: Thank you, Kyle.

MARISHA: What? That's awesome.

MATT: Yeah, this is the actual Griffon saddlebag they use for their icon, and stuff like that. It's awesome.

ASHLEY: Is that real leather?

MATT: Yeah, it's real leather.

ASHLEY: That's cool.

MATT: It's really cool. So, again, it's cool stuff more--

ASHLEY: Leatherette.

LAURA: Leatherette.

MARISHA: It's leatherette.

LAURA: Griffon leatherette.

MATT: It's leatherette.

MARISHA: Not-- yes.

LAURA: That's good. That means it's--

MATT: Not actual. Smells nice. Okay.

TALIESIN: Leatherette.

MATT: Leatherette, sorry. Also.... (drumroll) Call of the Netherdeep, our first fifth edition adventure with our friends at Wizards of the Coast, is available right now. (clapping) This cool adventure, it begins in the Wastes of Xhorhas, and leads to the glimmering city oasis of Ank'Harel on the continent of Marquet, and from there, into a sunken realm of gloom, corruption, and sorrow known as the Netherdeep. This incredible design team was led by James J. Haeck, Christopher Perkins, and myself, with an incredibly talented writing team that include Makenzie De Armas, LaTia Jacquise, I always fuck up that, sorry. LaTia Jacquise, Cassandra Khaw, and Sadie Lowry. They're all incredible, all the work they've done in this is amazing. So proud to see this come together. The book is filled with so much amazing art from a vast team of artists from all over the Critter community, including the artist for the cover of this, which is Minttu Hynninen, and it is amazing. Pick up right now through the Critical Role US store, D&D, or your local friendly game store. (cheering)

MATT: It's real pretty.

SAM: Show us some.

MATT: I'll show you some cool stuff, for those who are familiar with Bazzoxan-- (oohing)

MATT: From campaign 2.

SAM: Are we allowed to read this, Matt, or does it involve stuff that we might bump into?

MATT: Oh, you guys can read this.

SAM: Okay, okay.

ALL: Oh, oh, oh!

SAM: Oh, that was a long--

LAURA: Sneaky, sneaky.

MATT: I know. I called your bluff, Riegel. Laura, you got some stuff to talk about.

LAURA: Yes, I do! Hey, you guys, guess what we have?

TRAVIS: What?

LIAM: Oh goodness.

LAURA: Well, I'm just going to bring both out at one time. Look at these! Too late!

MATT: Oh my god, it's so fucking cute.

LAURA: They're Kiris. Y'all, we have Kiris. We have a Kiri hanger plush.

ALL: Aw!

ASHLEY: Oh goodness.

LAURA: Look at this, she could hang from your rear view mirror in your car, or your key chain, or your backpack. So many things. We also have a big Kiri.

SAM: Oh my god.

LAURA: Look at this buddy.

MATT: It's so fucking cute.

LAURA: And-- Wait, I hope you can hear it.

LAURA: (as Jester) I am Kiri. (laughter)

LAURA: She's got voices!

SAM: (as Veth) Welcome to the Mighty Nein! (laughter)

LAURA: I won't play them all for you, because some of them should be a surprise.

TRAVIS: Do one more, do one more.

LAURA: (as Jester) Yes, I am very sweet. (awwing) (laughter)

LAURA: Both Kiris were designed by Jenny Park. They're available in the US, UK, Canada, and Australia Critical Role shops. Check it out. I think this, I hope this happens because you can take her hoodie off! (awwing)

LAURA: Look at her cute little Kiri head!

TRAVIS: Now she needs to be protected even more.

LAURA: I just love her.

LIAM: I'm going to put this on Sprigg. (awwing) (laughter)

MATT: That is also about newborn size, too.

LAURA: Yes, it is. Wait, I can't recommend that. It's not child safe, not child safe. Do not do that.

MATT: Sorry, I fucked that up, I ruined it all. Anyway--

ASHLEY: I feel like it could fit Omar, too.

LIAM: Still going on my dog. (laughter)

LAURA: Oh, you know what? I think the backpack comes off, too. (oohing)

LAURA: Okay, anyway.

TALIESIN: Also going on your dog.

TRAVIS: You can deconstruct your own Kiri. (laughter)

LAURA: Anyway, there you go. Just go get them. Okay.

MATT: This is madness. Thank you, Laura.

LAURA: You're welcome.

MATT: I believe that brings us to the conclusion of our announcements, so let's go ahead and kick off the special seventh anniversary--

ASHLEY: Oh, boy!

MATT: -- episode of Critical Role. (cheering)

♪ Critical ♪ ♪ Critical ♪ ♪ It's Thursday ♪ ♪ It's Thursday night! ♪

ASHLEY: ♪ One-by-one, we climb until we reach the top. ♪ ♪ Two-by-two, we fall. ♪

LAURA: ♪ Will we meet our end or meet our destiny? ♪ ♪ Hold your breath and roll! ♪

MATT: How do you want to do this?

ALL: ♪ It's Thursday night ♪ ♪ All ye Critters, come join us ♪ ♪ It's time to continue our plight ♪ ♪ There is magic and mystery ♪ ♪ Who knows what will happen? ♪ ♪ He might! ♪ ♪ But one thing's for sure, ♪ ♪ We never give up on the fight! ♪

TRAVIS: ♪ From the healer ♪

LIAM: ♪ To the renegade ♪

MATT: ♪ We all share the same goal ♪

MATT and TALIESIN: ♪ Adding more allies ♪ ♪ Taking more chances ♪

SAM: ♪ Hold your breath and roll ♪

MARISHA: You can certainly try.

ALL: ♪ It's Thursday night ♪ ♪ All ye Critters, come join us ♪ ♪ It's time to continue our plight ♪ ♪ It's Thursday night. ♪ ♪ There is magic and mystery ♪ ♪ From darkness, our friendship will rise ♪ ♪ But one thing's for sure: ♪ ♪ We never give up on the fight ♪ ♪ Oh, get ready, ♪ ♪ Get ready, ♪ ♪ It's Thursday night! ♪

(flames whooshing)

Part I
MATT: And welcome back. So, last we left off, Bells Hells had seen their friend Dorian off with his brother Cyrus on Ariks Eshteross' airship to Tal'Dorei to keep them both safe for the time being. Upon looking to delve into some of the mysteries surrounding your recent ill luck in social endeavors here in Jrusar, you ran into the Green Seekers, a pair of well-known investigators here in Marquet and beyond. To build trust from them to absolve yourself of the growing mistrust they seem to have encountered in you. You together delved into the mines deep beneath the Smolder Spire in Jrusar, battled through shade creepers, and eventually stumbled upon on the trail of Lady Emoth Kade, the Shade Mother. A large, misshapen entity that seemed to be the source of the ever-mutating shade creeper hoards that were tunneling through the city, stealing and thieving. You managed to capture Lady Kade herself and roll her out while escaping the shade mother through the help of some ingenuity and the sacrifice of one magical rope into some drill machinery and left in the abandoned mine. After going your separate ways, you managed to gather yourselves and what strength you had left after a long hard fought battle. Bruised and battered a bit, you went and got rooms for the night there at the Soot and Swill, if I recall correctly, where you were looking over if I recall correctly, where you were looking over a glowing stone that you had discovered within the area a glowing stone that you had discovered within the area of the shade mother's den. As well as you sleeping through an important date you had set.

TRAVIS: Goddamn it!

MATT: (laughs) So.

MARISHA: You better get your platinum back.

MATT: As we left off. Imogen.

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Fuck. Fuck!

SAM: You thought he might have forgotten.

LAURA: Shit.

SAM: It's getting real red.

TRAVIS: I bet it looks cool in the theaters.

MATT: You find yourself stepping through the familiar fields. The grasses and weeds touching your fingertips. That late afternoon sun warm on your back and your shoulders. The smell of sweet, fresh grass, and something else The smell of sweet, fresh grass, and something else on the wind that catches your attention. Like a coming rain, but iron-like. That familiar shiver hits your back. You turn to see once more the terrible, roiling, booming, red storm coming. Your wind is tossed around. You hear the winds crashing past your ears, tearing past your face. Having to guard your eyes from the dust being thrown into them. You think to yourself, this is coming to eat you like it always does. You hear once again in your mind that familiar voice, "Imogen, run." Right as the phrase finishes, you sense something in your hand. You glance down and see in the palm, the small purple gem. Something is comforting about the gem also. It offers a different path. It offers a different means of escape. The voice shouts again. "Imogen, run!" What do you do?

LAURA: Fuck.

MATT: (thunder crash)

LAURA: I take a few steps back. What is this?

MATT: (thunder rolling) Flashes of red are sparking throughout the cloud. As the bulk of the storm begins to hit the space

LAURA: I turn and start running.

MATT: Where you stand.

LAURA: Mother? Mother!?

MATT: You've not delayed like this before, and you can feel the wind battering your back, the hair being tossed to and fro across your face, blocking your vision. You trip and stumble, and pick back up and keep going. You can feel the heat behind you pushing, pushing. The stone's still in your hand. You see in front of you, the farmhouse. So far, but you keep running and you keep running. The heat in your lungs is beginning to burn from breathing, the exhaustion kicking in. You run, you run, and you hear the voice, distant, muffled. "Imogen, run, run."

LAURA: It's too far.

MATT: You get close and get close before, (gasps) you wake up. You sit there on your bed, clustered with your usual bedmate, and there you see cradled in your arms like a pet or a small child, that same stone. Not how you went to sleep, but there it remains.

LAURA: Laudna.

MARISHA: What, are you all right?

LAURA: I'm fine.

MARISHA: Another dream?

LAURA: Yeah. I don't know what that is. That stone, I don't know what it is.

MARISHA: Was it?

LAURA: It was in my dream.

MARISHA: Did it do anything in your dream?

LAURA: I don't know. It was like it was telling me to do something different.

MARISHA: You know...

LAURA: I didn't. Should I have done it? I've been having this dream for years. It always ends the same way. Maybe I should have just done what it said. Maybe I should have just tried, I don't know, walking towards the storm. You know, I've never done that. Maybe I should just give in.

MARISHA: Did it give you a positive feeling in the dream or a negative one?

LAURA: It felt wonderful. It felt comforting. It felt different.

MARISHA: Do you think you could go back if you willed yourself?

LAURA: I don't know.

MARISHA: I go and I get her a glass of water. As per usual. Wipe her face.

LAURA: It feels like if that storm catches me, I'll be gone. Just gone.

MARISHA: Well, I certainly can't lose you. Perhaps, maybe it was trying to tell you that you're strong enough now.

LAURA: Maybe. My mom was still telling me to run, though. I mean, that's got to mean something.

MARISHA: I wish I could be in there with you.

LAURA: Me, too.

MARISHA: You should never have to run into the storm alone.

LAURA: You know, I fell asleep holding onto the stone. Maybe if I fall asleep holding onto your hand, you'll come into the dream with me, too. That'd be something, huh?

MARISHA: We can certainly try.

LAURA: (tearful laugh) Yeah.

MARISHA: All of this shit is super weird. I'm not going to question anything.

LAURA: I'd rather not go back to sleep right now, but next time maybe just, I'll just stick close to you, all right?

MARISHA: I normally wake up. I was just so exhausted from the day.

LAURA: We had a long day. It was different. It was so different. What time is it?

MATT: From what you can glean and from what little bit of an outside light you have, you're maybe a few hours from sunrise. You went to bed relatively early due to the physical state of things. So you for the most part have completed a long rest.

LAURA: All right.

MARISHA: You say the word. If you ever want to go back, talk to your father, go back to your home, you know I'm there with you.

LAURA: Yeah. Maybe when we get out of town, there's these notes that the Lumas twins had and maybe it'll lead to something, you know?

MARISHA: Yeah. You know this new group that we found ourselves with.

LAURA: I look over at Fearne who's asleep next to us, right. Y'all are in the bed. (laughter)

LIAM: Orym is pillbugged up in the bend of Fearne's knee, whichever way they bend.

ASHLEY: Whatever way they bend.

SAM: Sideways. (laughter)

MARISHA: I think they'd be down for the journey.

LAURA: Yeah. It is pretty great to have a group that's not inclined to run like everyone else is, huh?

MARISHA: Yeah. Maybe they'll rub off on us a little bit.

LAURA: (laughs) Yeah. How's your arm? Are you feeling all right?

MARISHA: It's doing better now that I've rested a little bit.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: I think a little bit of that healing is still sitting in. Feeling better, though.

LAURA: You go back to sleep. I'm just going to go downstairs and sit in the bar for a little bit, all right?

MARISHA: Do you want me to go with you? Would you like company?

LAURA: No, no, no. Get some sleep. It's still early. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm going to leave this here.

MARISHA: All right.

LAURA: Don't let anyone touch it. I don't know what it is. I want to have FCG look at it when he wakes up.

MARISHA: All right. If anything happens, if you run into anything, you know there's all sorts of weirdos out right now, just it'll probably take me a little bit to fall asleep. Just message me.

LAURA: All right, I will.

MARISHA: All right.

LAURA: I'm just going to go downstairs and eat some very early breakfast. Maybe keep Pretty some company.

MATT: Okay. At this point in the evening, food isn't really being prepared.

LAURA: That's fine.

MATT: Pretty is probably off sleeping because he has to at some point.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: In fact are no other patrons there. There's just an older gentleman who is running the night shift at this space. Seems to be a waifish dwarven fellow, who's half asleep at the foot of the bar itself, who's half asleep at the foot of the bar itself, in his chair leaning against it and nodding off slightly. Other than that, it's fairly quiet. Oddly peaceful.

LAURA: You know what? That sounds fucking fabulous. I'm going to sit by myself for a while.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I stare at the stone for a moment. I just go and I find my cloak from the other night and throw it over top and wrap it in a bundle.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I'm just going to set it aside, out of view.

MATT: As you're wrapping it, there's like a--

MARISHA: Try not to touch it.

MATT: Okay, as you wrap it, it's not like a smooth polished stone. It has a rougher, natural texture to it. You wrap it up, and you set it where?

MARISHA: I look at Fearne as she sleeps. I just wedge it between the bed near me.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: On the opposite side of where Fearne is.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Tuck it under the bed a bit.

MATT: You've got it.

MARISHA: Before I do that, though. (laughter)

SAM: You stare deeply into it.

MARISHA: I know! I look under the bed. Are there any fucking holes? I don't want this shit stolen.

MATT: Make a perception or investigation check, your choice.

SAM: Oh, oh, you're rolling.

TRAVIS: First roll, first roll. Come on here. (mumbles)

LAURA: Aww. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Oh, come on, let's do it.

MATT: That's super cute.

ASHLEY: Come on, buddies.

MARISHA: I appreciate that.

TRAVIS: Redemption!

MARISHA: What'd you say, investigation or--

MATT: Investigation or perception, your choice.

MARISHA: 16.

MATT: 16.

SAM: Hey.

MARISHA: That's better.

ASHLEY: That'll do.

LIAM: Half step. Walk before you run.

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: Exactly. Baby step this like "What About Bob?" You feel pretty confident that this room you're in currently doesn't seem to have any overt or noticeable holes or breaks, any baseboards or visible masonry. It's low lit and it's not a massive chamber, but from glancing around you're left feeling fairly comfortable.

MARISHA: I'm super paranoid after those few weeks, so I take, got a piece of my red ribbon really quick, tie it in to the bundle, and then tie the other end to my belt, and then I drop it down, so if someone pulls on it, I'll feel it.

MATT: Okay, good to know.

LIAM: You sleep with a belt on?

MARISHA: Who doesn't?

TRAVIS: You got to sleep with your armor on. Bad shit happens. (laughter)

MATT: All right. You go to sleep.

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: You spend the next few hours waiting for the sun to rise in quiet contemplation, ruminating on the facets of the unfinished dream. Until eventually, light comes cresting over the far visible streets and with that a strange warm comfort of the new day to rise. You all finish a long rest.

SAM: Nice.

LIAM: Long rest.

SAM: Does she as well?

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: Oh whew, thank god.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Yeah, because you guys went to bed fairly early, for the majority of you it wasn't the eight hours. None of you slept like 10 to 12, which sounds amazing.

LAURA: Yeah, right?

MATT: It's been so long.

MARISHA: 10 to 12.

LIAM: Many years.

MATT: Yeah, but you all come to.

ASHLEY: (yawns)

MARISHA: I pull on it.

MATT: As you go to pull on the thread--

MARISHA: Don't fuck with me, Matt Mercer.

MATT: It's still there, you're fine.

TRAVIS: (startles) No. (screams) No!

MARISHA: Can we hear him through the walls?

MATT: Yes, you can.

TRAVIS: Oh god.

ASHLEY: Well.

LAURA: Come upstairs with four coffees. Here you go.

ASHLEY: Thank you so much.

LAURA: There you are.

LIAM: Oh, not yet. He meerkats up with bedhead and then just drops on the floor and starts doing pushups. I'm not awake.

LAURA: Oh no, are you serious?

MARISHA: You make us all feel like shit when you do that, Orym.

LIAM: I'm just trying to get up.

TALIESIN: Hey. (knocks) You awake, you okay? You up?

SAM: Yeah, shiny day to you. Of course, I've been up for a while just kind of looking at you. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm going to let that go. You doing okay?

SAM: Yeah, I'm just going to sort of roll around a bit, twist my joints, blink a couple times.

TALIESIN: Here, here.

SAM: (whirring sounds)

SAM: Yeah, sure, it goes that way. Sure, why not? I think I feel right as rain, yeah.

TALIESIN: You know that yesterday you were a little off?

SAM: I do. I was aware that--

TALIESIN: Okay.

SAM: Just felt a little, I don't know, stuck. Just a little stuck, but I feel better now.

TALIESIN: Yeah. Well, if you figure out what was going on, please say it out loud. We need you working. You need you working.

SAM: Of course, I will.

TALIESIN: You know you're never going to disappoint anybody or anything like that, if you need something.

SAM: Maybe I'll try to run some sort of self-assessment protocols or something, just to try to see if I can figure out what that was.

TALIESIN: Yeah, that's not a bad idea. Let's collect everybody.

SAM: Yeah. I guess we'll all rendezvous downstairs?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MARISHA: Rendezvous in the morning.

LAURA: Were you keeping the stone safe? Laudna?

MARISHA: Huh, what?

LAURA: Were you keeping the stone safe?

MARISHA: Yes.

ASHLEY: Did you all sleep okay?

LAURA: Yeah, I'll take it, thank you.

MATT: Still keeping it bundled?

LAURA: Yeah. But close.

ASHLEY: Did something happen?

LAURA: Uh--

ASHLEY: Did you have a bad dream?

LAURA: I did. Yeah.

ASHLEY: Are you okay?

LAURA: Yeah. I am very interested in having FCG look at this, though, so.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: (knocks)

ASHLEY: Oh.

TALIESIN: Hey.

ASHLEY: Oh, perfect timing.

TALIESIN: Look at that. (laughter)

LAURA: Morning!

SAM: Good morning. How was your evening?

TALIESIN: Oh, yeah!

LAURA: Oh gosh.

ASHLEY: Oh, it was fine. You know, I got up.

LIAM: You didn't even wake me up when you came back.

ASHLEY: I know, I can get up very quietly.

MARISHA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: So just beware of that. (laughter)

ASHLEY: So I went out there--

SAM: Sounded like a threat.

LAURA: (laughs) Yeah.

ASHLEY: -- and he just didn't answer the door, so--

LAURA: Is he dead?

ASHLEY: I don't think so, because I just heard him screaming.

LAURA: Oh, okay. (laughter)

MATT: That's how you tell that someone's not dead. (laughter)

SAM: Screaming--

TRAVIS: Help me!

ASHLEY: I don't think screaming for his life. I think just--

SAM: Screaming in ecstasy?

ASHLEY: Could be. Maybe someone else gave him a visit.

TALIESIN: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Wasn't me, though.

MARISHA: You'll find your special someone soon, Fearne, I just know it.

ASHLEY: I think so, too. It's just, I know-- I know I'm a bit of a handful-- (laughter)

ASHLEY: -- but you know, it's exciting, as they say. It's very--

SAM: An exciting handful.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: That's right.

TALIESIN: Why rush?

LIAM: It definitely would be a really interesting math equation.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: Yeah, well. I think of so many things, you know, which I don't know.

ASHLEY: Well, yeah. Yes, of course. I mean, I'm really in no rush.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: You know.

LAURA: Uh-huh.

SAM: At the same time, between Pretty and Chetney, there's a lot of, you know, let downs lately. If you'd like to talk about it, I'm always here.

ASHLEY: Sure, I would love that. Yeah. How did you sleep? You seem a little, you seem better.

SAM: I feel fantastic.

ASHLEY: You were acting so weird.

SAM: I know. Well, I know, I know. I was just sort of-- I wasn't processing things as smoothly as normally. That's all.

ASHLEY: Does that happen a lot?

SAM: No, not at all.

ASHLEY: That's never happened before?

TALIESIN: Not that I've seen.

LAURA: Oh wow.

TALIESIN: It's been a stressful few days.

LAURA: It was stressful to see.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

SAM: I'm sorry.

LIAM: Do you feel any differently today?

SAM: I think I feel the exact same.

LAURA: All right.

MARISHA: You know, FCG, you're so good at offering, lending your ear to the rest of us. If you ever need to talk, you know, we're here for you.

SAM: That sounds lovely. You know, talking about your issues and problems is really a good idea for all of us. So I would be happy to take you up on that. Maybe we could schedule some time. Maybe when we're on the road, I could grab your ear. Not grab it, because it will fall off. But like--

MARISHA: That is true.

SAM: Just, you know, metaphorically.

MARISHA: You can borrow my ears any time.

SAM: Well.

LIAM: Just use that saw blade. (laughter)

SAM: But you wanted me to take a look at that thing?

LAURA: Oh, I did, very much. Yes.

MARISHA: I'm going to go gather Chetney.

MARISHA: Okay. (knocking)

LAURA: Don't touch it.

SAM: Oh?

TALIESIN: Don't you have to?

LAURA: Well, do you?

SAM: No, I'll just have to look at it.

TALIESIN: Okay.

LAURA: Okay then. I'm going to place it in front of you and open up the bundle that Laudna put together.

SAM: Okay, I'll try my best. Hope this works this time. So--

LAURA: Stick a finger on it.

SAM: (laughs) Okay. A little lens pops over. I will stare at it and cast Identify.

MATT: Okay. As you focus on it, the information comes to you through magical means. But what this is is a very small shard of what's referred to as the Gnarlrock.

SAM: The Gnarlrock?

MATT: The Gnarlrock. The Gnarlrock is a mythological stone that exists deep, deep in the Fey Realm.

MARISHA: (gasps)

MATT: It is a a stone that-- There are many theories as to how it got there. Some believe it's always been there. Some believe it was placed there, it grew there. There are many individuals within the Fey Realms that have their theories, but what's known is where it resides, everything around it mutates and twists and this mass thicket of nightmare nature now entwines for miles and miles around the Gnarlrock. This is but a small shard that seems to have been taken from it.

SAM: Huh. And I-- all this information spills out of me, just mechanically as if being read through an encyclopedia or something like that, but.

LAURA: So it changes you for the-- the worse?

SAM: I don't know. I guess technically it can mutate something for the better if it started off pretty bad.

TALIESIN: Maybe it just changes you, and there's no good or bad to it.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: Huh.

MARISHA: Did you get that feeling from it?

LAURA: I get a very-- (sighs) a very strong feeling of wanting it.

SAM: Of wanting it?

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Well, let's not forget who had it.

LAURA: I know, that's--

LIAM: Let's not forget Dugger and Emoth.

LAURA: It feels like it's promising things, you know? It feels--

SAM: Ooh.

LAURA: Comforting and--

MARISHA: Maybe it's not about starting bad and mutating to good. Maybe if you're bad inside, it makes it worse. But maybe if you're good inside, it manifests in a positive way.

TALIESIN: That could be.

SAM: That's looking on the bright side. When you discovered it, wasn't it being held in some special way by like an object or--?

LAURA: Yeah, it was in a device. I think, I mean, it's just my guess, that it was amplifying it in some way. But, like, do you remember what it was made out of? Was it stone or metal or?

LAURA: It was a gold metal, wasn't it?

MATT: Yeah, it was some sort of a gold and brass metallic, twisted, metallic pillar that was clutching it and fusing it in the center point.

LAURA: You remember the way the stone looked in the Nightmare King's lab?

SAM: I think so.

LAURA: It felt something similar to that, all around it and--

SAM: Well, I'm trying to think. Maybe we shouldn't-- If you think that was an amplifier, maybe we shouldn't touch it to metal. Maybe we should carry it in something that's not metal?

LAURA: Maybe.

SAM: I don't know.

LAURA: I guess I can just keep it in my pocket, then, if y'all think it's all right.

ASHLEY: I don't see any problem with that.

TALIESIN: You've slept in a room with it at this point. What's the--?

ASHLEY: Can I give it a sniff?

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Does it smell like anything? (laughs)

MATT: It smells loosely of earth and salt rock. It's like a mineral.

LAURA: Do you know anything about the Gnarlrock?

MATT: You can make a history check, if you'd like.

TRAVIS: Do you know anything about the Gnarlrock? (laughter) Would you like to meet Gnarlrock? (laughter)

ASHLEY: Oh, I don't think it's very good. Seven.

MATT: You've lived a comparably cloistered life for certain elements of your youth in the fey realm, and haven't really been much of a studious individual about the histories, the breadth and expanse of the weirdness that the very edges of the Feywild can contain. This, you've never heard of before, but it doesn't surprise you, either.

ASHLEY: Yeah. I mean, I've heard stories, but I'm not quite familiar enough with that. But it sounds interesting.

TALIESIN: Maybe we consult an expert?

LAURA: Who's an expert?

TALIESIN: Well, we have access to an academy. We have access to some rich people, who I assume have access to smart people.

LAURA: (chuckles) Right.

TALIESIN: Find a cleric and ask if the Gnarlrock is right for you. (laughter)

LAURA: Yeah. Maybe I'll just keep it in a pouch for now.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: At least we know the bad guys don't have it anymore.

LAURA: That's true.

ASHLEY: That's true.

LAURA: I do think it's what turned the shade creeper mother into something much darker.

SAM: Maybe it's what they were using to make all those mutants? And now they can't make any more.

ASHLEY: I mean, if it turns you into one of those slug things, I-- That's gross.

LAURA: Yeah, that's true.

LIAM: Well, and we-- Dugger was just a guy, right? Then they said that he just changed over time.

LAURA: That's right.

SAM: I hope you don't change.

MARISHA: If it starts making you feel funny--

SAM: We'll take it away!

MARISHA: Yeah!

ASHLEY: Do you want me to hold it?

LAURA: No, Fearne.

ASHLEY: Because maybe if-- maybe it won't do anything to me.

LAURA: Why wouldn't it do anything to you?

ASHLEY: I don't know. Maybe because it's, like, "Oh, you're just where I'm from." I don't know.

TALIESIN: It would make more sense for me. I'm already rock. I don't know what another rock would--

ASHLEY: Oh, that's true.

TALIESIN: Or maybe another rock would make it worse. I don't know.

SAM: Or maybe--

LIAM: I was thinking you or Grass.

SAM: Yeah, maybe you wouldn't do anything to me because I'm not alive.

LIAM: We've put a lot of things in you.

SAM: Oh, or you?

MARISHA: Well, I'm alive.

SAM: Oh. Is that true?

LAURA: Yes, she's alive. Yes.

LIAM: She's talking to us.

TALIESIN: Technically.

SAM: I guess I don't know.

MARISHA: It's just like in between the lines, you know?

SAM: Well, I'm not, so I maybe I could carry it.

LAURA: You are. I think you are alive, FCG

SAM: Well, that's an opinion. (laughter) And opinions are like opera. Sure, you can listen to them, but why would you, really? (laughter)

LIAM: That's pretty good.

TALIESIN: I was wondering where that was going to go. I'm really impressed by that, actually.

ASHLEY: There's some good ones, though.

MARISHA: Well, yeah.

MATT: I've seen some great operas.

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughter)

LAURA: -- just hold on to it.

ASHLEY: A little boring.

LAURA: I'll hold on to it.

ASHLEY: I kind of want to touch it.

TALIESIN: My initial thought is there's probably more of them.

MARISHA: What, of the stones?

TALIESIN: If you just have one, why would you leave it there?

MATT: Do you touch the stone?

ASHLEY: Well, I don't know, would that--

TRAVIS: Do you touch that?

ASHLEY: Yes, I do.

LAURA: I don't want you to take out, though I want you to leave it--

ASHLEY: I'm just going to touch it in the pouch.

LAURA: -- in my pouch.

MATT: Okay. It has a gentle warmth to it, but beyond that, it just feels like a stone.

TALIESIN: It's a hand warmer.

ASHLEY: Just a stone. Okay. Nothing happened. I know nothing.

SAM: That's what you think! A worm ass is growing out of you!

ASHLEY: Oh no! (laughter) I'm a shade mother!

MARISHA: You know, Fearne?

ASHLEY: Yes?

MARISHA: I know we've talked about this before, but I'm just-- because you've come over from the fey realm, but you don't-- what did you tell us? Do you recall? Do you remember much? How long have you been here? What's your deal?

ASHLEY: What's my deal? Well, I, I...

LAURA: This is good. We can judge it based on what you told us before and we can see how much is the truth.

ASHLEY: Mm-hmm.

MARISHA: It's true.

ASHLEY: Well, I don't-- I don't exactly know. I came here to explore and to see the rest of the world. And my grandmother said that I could come here and maybe try to find my parents.

LAURA: (gasps)

ASHLEY: Which I haven't seen in a very long time. That's-- That's about it.

TALIESIN: Insight check.

LAURA: You didn't mention your parents before.

ASHLEY: I did not?

LAURA: No.

ASHLEY: Oh.

LAURA: Are your parents from Tal'Dorei or Exandria? Or are they originally from the fey realm as well?

ASHLEY: Originally from the fey realm as well. And they left when I was pretty young, so I haven't seen them, gosh, I can't remember when they left. I want to say I was in my-- (laughs)

LAURA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: I had it written down somewhere. (laughter)

ASHLEY: I want to say maybe in my forties, but-- (laughter)

ASHLEY: -- not quite sure. Yeah, they've been gone for a very long time, because they went to go do something, but I don't know what they did.

SAM: You don't know where they went, either?

ASHLEY: I've been getting letters from them.

SAM: Oh!

ASHLEY: And, you know, they've been traveling all over.

SAM: Oh, when's the last--

ASHLEY: Postcards and--

SAM: Well, when's the last letter and where was it from?

ASHLEY: (sighs) I think the last postcard was from-- I want to say it started with an A.

LAURA and SAM: A?

LAURA: Ank'Harel?

ASHLEY: No.

SAM: A-mon? (laughter)

ASHLEY: No.

ASHLEY: I think one of them was--

LAURA: Astral Sea?

ASHLEY: Air? Airor or Airoar, Aeor?

SAM: Aeor?

ASHLEY: Maybe, yeah.

LAURA: Aeor?

ASHLEY: Yeah, I don't know.

SAM: Do we know where that is?

MATT: None of you would know where that is. (laughs)

MARISHA: I'm going to go see-- I knocked on Chetney's door and he didn't come out.

ASHLEY: Oh, yeah, yeah, where is Chetney?

MARISHA: I'm going to go see. Chetney! (knocking)

TRAVIS: (crying) I've fucked it all up.

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: (crying)

LAURA: Just up in his room this whole time.

MARISHA: Chetney!

TRAVIS: What? Who is it?

MARISHA: I can hear you crying through the door. It's Laudna.

TRAVIS: What? You what? (whimpers)

MARISHA: Oh! Oh, Chet. What happened?

TRAVIS: I slept in. On that ass. (laughter)

MARISHA: I know, Chetney. I think she was very disappointed.

TRAVIS: Really?

MARISHA: Yes! You know, I don't think that was your only and final chance.

TRAVIS: Oh man. You don't know. Sometimes it just passes you by.

MARISHA: Well--

TRAVIS: I was just so fucking tired! And they don't offer wake up calls.

MARISHA: We were all tired. It happens to all of us, darling. Look, we're about to go on a very long hike.

TRAVIS: We're going on a hike?

MARISHA: People get really horny on the road, okay?

TRAVIS: Really? Maybe I should just play it cool.

MARISHA: Yes!

TRAVIS: Should I be aloof?

MARISHA: Well, I--

TRAVIS: Like I didn't sleep in. I meant to.

MARISHA: Don't.

TRAVIS: I'm building the anticipation.

MARISHA: I feel like that's--

TRAVIS: Make her want it.

MARISHA: -- never been good advice.

TRAVIS: Oh. (laughter)

TRAVIS: All right. So you're saying treat this as an opportunity. Don't feel like I've fucked it up at all?

MARISHA: Don't-- I--

TRAVIS: You got it. Round two.

MARISHA: Just be cool.

TRAVIS: Coming out stronger than ever. The wolf howls!

MARISHA: Just be chill, Chetney.

TRAVIS: Oh, Chetney's chill. (laughter)

MARISHA: Chetney's awake.

TRAVIS: Oh boy, what a morning. How is everybody?

TALIESIN: You doing all right? You fucked it up real bad last night.

TRAVIS: What?

TALIESIN: Shit.

LAURA: I heard you slept through everything.

TRAVIS: No. No! I was actually out getting a 10K in because, you know, I do fasted cardio. So sometimes you just got to take care of yourselves before the sun comes up.

TALIESIN: That was a poor life choice, if that was true.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LIAM: Took care of yourself, did ya? (laughter)

TRAVIS: (muttering) Fucking Orym. (laughter)

TRAVIS: So anything interesting happen last night? Anybody get their rooms invaded by any holes or anything-- oh.

LAURA: Aww. (laughter)

LIAM: Whoa! (laughter)

LAURA: Nope.

TRAVIS: No?

ASHLEY: No, no.

TALIESIN: Wow.

ASHLEY: Unfortunately.

LAURA: (laughs)

LIAM: Is this going to be a thing? Are we cool, or--?

LAURA: Are we witnessing--

TRAVIS: What are you talking about? We're just two adults just reacting to chemistry.

ASHLEY: Well, yeah, you know, I'll probably make my rounds through everybody. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Sometimes you just got to start with the appetizer.

MARISHA: I feel like that's the first true thing Fearne's ever said. (laughter) (laughter)

ASHLEY: No, my parents did leave when I was young.

TRAVIS: Why are you talking about your parents?

ASHLEY: Oh, well, no, we're just trying to figure something out.

TRAVIS: What the fuck's going on in this room? You got me up after the parent conversation?

MARISHA: Well, it seemed like it was going to go into some important backstory elements that I felt like I didn't want to miss out on.

LAURA: Chet, you missed so many things last night. Like so many conversations. It was a lot.

ASHLEY: We stayed up all night, we played Truth or Dare.

LAURA: Next time, don't get a room by yourself.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: Unless you're sure it's going to happen, you know what I mean? Don't rely on some random timeframe.

TRAVIS: (muttering) Fucking Imogen. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Okay. That's a good call.

LAURA: Where were we headed before we got interrupted by those Green Seekers?

LIAM: Oh dear.

TALIESIN: Out of town?

SAM: Out of town.

LAURA: We were going to see--

ASHLEY: Yeah, we were going out of town.

LAURA: We were going to see your--

TALIESIN: Yeah, Hexum.

LIAM: That's right, that's right.

LAURA: So we should head that way again, correct?

TALIESIN: I mean, if everyone's down, I'm down. I would love to get out of town for a little while.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah, I think that was their advice, too, right?

LAURA: Yeah, should we let Eshteross know about the Shade Mother?

TALIESIN: Actually.

ASHLEY: Oh, right.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Wait, don't you need to stop by somebody, a woman?

LAURA: Yeah, that's where we were going to.

ASHLEY: That's where we're going.

TALIESIN: "Friend" is a very complicated word, but yeah.

MARISHA: While we do that, maybe we can pop by Zhudanna's.

LAURA and MARISHA: Let her know we're heading out.

MARISHA: Pay her for the month, maybe next few, toss her some gold.

LAURA: So she doesn't need to rent the room to anyone.

MARISHA: Exactly, all right.

TALIESIN: Quick run around.

MATT: All right, so which team is going to Jiana Hexum's?

TRAVIS: Are we rolling together or are we splitting up?

MATT: Are you guys going as one?

SAM: Yeah, we should go as one. We'll stop by, drop off some money, keep going.

LAURA: Yeah, we're going to plot out the route that makes us spend the least amount of silvers on trolley carts.

MATT: Okay. That would likely be, because you'll have to go to the Lucent Spire where Hexum is. You'll have to pass by the Windowed Wall.

LAURA: Okay, so let's do that.

MATT: All right, so as you guys stop by, you climb your way up through the different neighborhood platforms until eventually you get to the abode of Zhudanna. Opens the door, early morning, the bright light in her eye, she blinks a bit. "Yes, good morning."

LAURA: Remember us?

MATT: "I do."

LAURA: Okay, good.

MATT: "It's very nice to see you this morning."

MARISHA: We should have brought her some tea or something,

LAURA: She feels old.

MARISHA: Oh god, she does seem old. Has she aged in the past week?

LAURA: I don't know.

MATT: She's always been old, what are you talking about? (laughter)

MARISHA: Zhudanna, we just wanted to check in. See, we're going to take a little bit of a road trip out of town.

MATT: "Certainly, yes, just be very careful."

MARISHA: We will, and here. I hand her--

LAURA: (mumbling) I don't know, how much is it? How much is a fair price--

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LAURA: -- for a month?

TALIESIN: Why are we mumbling about the price of the room?

LIAM: Is that how you cast Message spell?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: She didn't set a price, you guys just gave her whatever you felt was right.

MARISHA: I'll give her 10 gold.

TRAVIS: Oh, only 10?

LAURA: No, that's a good amount, right, for her?

MATT: Do you give her 10 gold?

MARISHA: How does she react to it?

MATT: "Oh, thank you very much. That's unnecessary. I was happy to provide homestead for those who needed it."

MARISHA: Is that enough, do you need more?

LAURA: We just want you to be able to take care of yourself and not worry about renting it to anyone else while we're gone.

MATT: "Very well. It'll be done. Just come back soon. It's nice to have company."

MARISHA: Do you need us to put on a hot pot of water for you or do anything before we leave?

MATT: "No, no, I have that taken care of. Thank you very much."

MARISHA: I feel so guilty.

LAURA: I know, does she seem off at all to us?

MATT: No.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Make an insight check, if you want to.

ASHLEY: Whoa, whoa.

LAURA: Oh! Oh, oh, oh, 20.

MATT: No, just going about her business for the day.

LAURA: All right, she's great.

MATT: Unexpected company and just happy to see some faces.

LAURA: All right.

MARISHA: All right, we'll be back in a few weeks.

MATT: "Very well, I'll be here when you return."

LAURA: We hope so.

MATT: "Goodbye!"

LAURA: Bye.

ASHLEY: Bye.

MATT: "Goodbye, friends of friends."

ASHLEY: Goodbye.

LIAM: I think during that whole conversation, she's a sweet old lady, Orym probably grew some flowers on her door.

LAURA: Aww!

LIAM: On her doorknob.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: That's adorable.

TALIESIN: Fucking adorable.

LIAM: I'm just a wee boy.

LAURA: Can you grow flowers any time you want?

LAURA: Oh.

TALIESIN: Shit.

MARISHA: (startled noise) (laughter)

LAURA: Thanks, Orym.

MATT: All right. You take the cart across the cable to the Lucent Spire. That's eight silver, or seven silver for you lot, since you're one down. Each of you can mark one off or one of you can pay for it, if you like.

TALIESIN: I'll pay the eight silver.

MATT: There you go. Eight silver off of Ashton over here. 'Til eventually, you are all led to the black and green wood estate known as Hexum Manor. With a brief knock at the door and waiting for a servant's arrival who opens the door to the side. Upon recognizing you at the front, doesn't even give you a word, just nods and opens the door and offers an arm for your entry.

TALIESIN: Come on, y'all, and... prepare. (sighs)

MATT: "She'll be with you in just a moment." The servant closes the door behind you. You all stand within the entry foyer of the house. You can see there is a staircase that starts extremely wide and then pincers together before splitting off into two different sides. There's a window above that centerpiece that goes to a secondary floor. To the right, (coughs). Pardon, throat got dry. To the right and left of you, you see two closed doors that lead to other chambers, but are currently not visible from where you stand. There are all manner of short pillars with strange sculptures on them. Some of them appear to be busts, but when it goes past the shoulders the heads seem to lose any sort of features. Almost like it's just a very, very, well-sculpted, shoulders and torso, and then where the head is, it's just a blank. You wait here for a few minutes, and eventually you hear the footfalls, gently on the steps descending. There you see a mature elven woman stepping down the stairs in a long, draping, dragging, dark blue robe with a dull bronze trim to it. All manner of jewelry, bracelets hanging from her wrists, and around her neck as she descends and looks about you all. "Welcome to my abode, friends of Ashton and the Nobodies. Would you be so kind as to introduce me to your friend circle, Ashton?"

TALIESIN: You want the full rundown, or--?

MATT: "You can be as succinct as you like."

TALIESIN: Fearne, FCG, Imogen, Laudna, Orym. Um. Old guy.

ASHLEY: Chetney.

TALIESIN: I was going to say Bertram, but that works.

MARISHA: (laughs)

TALIESIN: No, it's terrifying, he's actually my favorite.

MATT: "So these are your new Nobodies?"

TALIESIN: We're actually calling ourselves the Bells Hells. The Nobodies are nobody these days.

MATT: "Hmm. How quaint."

TALIESIN: Jiana Hexum, everybody.

TRAVIS: A pleasure to make your acquaintance.

MATT: "The pleasure is mine."

TALIESIN: He doesn't know you yet.

ASHLEY: Your statues, your busts? They don't have faces.

MATT: "Not in the moment. Take a closer look."

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: As you lean closer to it, you watch as the face shapes to form a mirror of your own.

ASHLEY: (gasps)

MARISHA: Whoa, cool!

LAURA: What is that for?

MATT: "Why, it's to off-put any guests."

ASHLEY: That is-- Do you-- Is it for sale?

MATT: "No." As you pull away, it reverts back into a blank.

ASHLEY: How big is it? (laughter)

LIAM: I immediately start tracking Fearne.

MATT: It's about that big, shoulder to shoulder and the head.

TRAVIS: Lean down again, put your face down there. I put my face right next to hers to make it choose one. (laughter)

MATT: You're fucking with the app filter?

TRAVIS: Yeah. Who's going to be, bitch?

ASHLEY: Who's it going to get?

LIAM: Let's see what their child looks like.

MATT: Interestingly enough, it does create an amalgam of your features.

TRAVIS: Ah! Oh, yeah!

ASHLEY: We're beautiful.

MATT: (laughs)

MATT: It has the immaculate brow line of Fearne, as well as the impish fey jaw and the bulbous nose of Chetney.

TRAVIS: It's a strong feature. (laughter)

MATT: It is a unique blend. Very unique.

ASHLEY: (gasps)

LAURA: Oh wow.

TALIESIN: I swear, they're competent. They're even, honestly, more competent than the previous group.

LAURA: Can you use that to check if you have lettuce in your teeth or something? (laughter)

TALIESIN: Oh boy.

ASHLEY: That's a good idea.

MATT: "I haven't tried. I'll have to go ahead and attempt it the next time I get lettuce in my teeth. I certainly hope they are, as this wager depends on their capability, not just yours. So you all agreed to this little wager, have you?

LAURA: We're not exactly sure what the little wager is, but sure.

LIAM: Would love to hear it in your words.

MATT: "Very well. I have asked your leader here, Ashton Greymoore, to abscond with you to the north, to the Hamlet. The Heartmoor Hamlet. There resides a compatriot of mine. I say (chuckles) the term 'compatriot' loosely. An individual that I've known for some time against my own better judgment and will. Mr. Evon Hytroga."

TRAVIS: What?

MATT: "He is the--"

MARISHA: Avon?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: "Evon Hytroga."

ALL: Evon Hytroga.

MATT: "He owns and runs a very unique establishment in the city. Mostly for his own bragging rights and also as a means of making a little bit of gold on the side from passersby. It is known as the Twilight Mirror Museum. An oddities collection. All sorts of strange gatherings that he wishes to, well, keep under lock and key. We've had sort of a debate for years, kind of a... I apologize for the base term, a pissing contest in regards to whose collection is more majestic. With my recent break-in this past year, he has been a rather loud thorn in my side in our shared social circles. So I wish to test his ability to prevent such a break in. He's bragged about how strong his defense capabilities are from burglary. So I told him if I could bring a well-trained group of burglars a well-trained group of burglars to bypass his defenses and retrieve an item of his choosing from the center of his museum, uncaught and unspoiled, then I win the wager. You all get paid, and we work through some of our historical baggage."

TRAVIS: This is excellent. You were robbed earlier, you said?

MATT: "Yes, I had a break-in, I wouldn't call it entirely successful."

TRAVIS: Oh shit, okay. It wasn't this Evon.

TALIESIN: (grunts)

TRAVIS: No.

TALIESIN: Nope.

TRAVIS: Okay.

ASHLEY: Do you know who it was? Oh, we're letting it go?

TALIESIN: Let it go.

ASHLEY: Well, now I'm very curious.

MATT: "I think Ashton can tell you all about it."

TALIESIN: I'll be happy to.

LAURA: This item that we will be procuring. Do we know what it is already?

MATT: "Eh. I get the sense that Evon will tell you upon your arrival."

LAURA: If any other items go missing, is that bonus or is that--

SAM: Wait, Evon will tell us the item that we're supposed to steal from Evon?

TALIESIN: We're a bet.

MATT: "He knows you're coming."

SAM: Oh.

LAURA: Doesn't it seem to me like he'd just up security on that one item? I mean, it doesn't really show a good judge of what kind of security he normally has.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we should steal everything else.

MATT: "Which is why--"

LAURA: But that one item.

ASHLEY: Yes, that's true.

MATT: "Which is why, if that item is procured it's that much more delicious victory over him and his pompous face."

SAM: So we're not going to get into trouble by doing this?

MATT: "No, no, not at all. There's no trouble, no legal issues. This is an agreement between him and myself."

SAM: Ashton mentioned there might be some competish as well.

MATT: "Yes, as part of this social circle we keep, he's also brought in a Mistress Isha Sabanis. Another one of our... compatriots in these social groupings, who one: wishes to take him down a peg, and two: wishes to take me down at the same time, and has stepped into a ring they were not invited to. So there is a possibility of competition.

SAM: So this mistress will also be trying to steal the item at the same time or will be defending it for?

MATT: "Will also be presenting her own champions to do the same."

SAM: All right, so we have to get the item and defeat the other burglar team.

MATT: "Or at least get it before they do."

SAM: Team. Welcome to West Virginia. (laughter)

TALIESIN: I'm just going to suppose this forward based off of previous deals we've had. Would there be a bonus for abject and intense humiliation of everybody involved?

MATT: "Well, I will be providing an upfront overall cost of 300 gold for food and travel expenses. Upon success, 500 gold apiece to each member of your team, as well as our previously discussed arrangement. In the opportune chance that you thoroughly embarrass Mr. Hytroga, I will put, say a smooth additional 500 gold apiece on the table."

ASHLEY: And also one of the statues.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

MARISHA: Come on.

MATT: (laughs)

SAM: Guidance!

LAURA: No, you can't.

MATT: It's too late.

ASHLEY: 15.

LAURA: That's pretty good. She said hopefully.

MATT: "It depends how I'm feeling about your job well done."

ASHLEY: Absolutely.

MATT: "I'll consider it a possibility to be considered."

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: That may be the nicest thing I've ever heard her say.

ASHLEY: Thank you.

SAM: You mentioned 300 gold for traveling fee or something like that?

MATT: "Indeed."

SAM: Would it be possible to get that in the form of a single diamond, by any chance?

MATT: "Should that be your preference, of course."

SAM: I don't have much use for money, but I think it might be a useful.

MATT: Claps twice and the servant you see dart back up the stairs and returns with a small jewelry box about that big. Opening it up, and there was space where a necklace or a bracelet would've been set, but instead there is placed a diamond about that big in the center of it. It's not cut extremely well, it's rough hewn, but it looks like it's still worth quite a bit.

LAURA: Could we take that box that it's in as well, so we don't lose the stone?

MATT: "Certainly."

SAM: Thank you very much.

MATT: "Now, and I mean this with all respect, where did you have this automaton designed?"

TALIESIN: Strangely, that's a mystery.

MATT: "Really?"

TALIESIN: But they are kind of their own thing.

SAM: Ashton is being, of course, humble as they always are. Ashton was definitely involved in my design because Ashton is a fantastic thinker and planner.

MATT: Make a deception check.

SAM: Okay. 19.

LAURA: Hey!

TALIESIN: Yeah. I know people.

MATT: "You are a endless bounty of surprises, Greymoore. Well. I would like, upon your return and success, to discuss the specifics of its design and who you had spoken with and worked on it. I have not quite experienced one with such articulation and autonomy. I'd like one myself."

TALIESIN: Well, that can be a discussion for later.

ASHLEY: You can't have this one.

LAURA: FCG is not up for sale.

ASHLEY: Yeah, this is ours.

LIAM: We're very particular about them.

SAM: Just out of curiosity, how much do you think I would go for? (laughter)

MATT: "Well, the last one that I lost cost me 20,000 gold pieces. You would be, depending on the interested buyer, somewhere a little higher."

ASHLEY: How much do you think you could get for him?

SAM: That's good to know, if you all get in a pickle or something.

LAURA: FCG

SAM: I'm just saying, if you're in jail or something, maybe need to post bail.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we'll keep it in the arsenal.

SAM: Yeah. It's good to know.

MARISHA: Post bail?

TALIESIN: With that, we are going to wrap up a few things here, get on the road and prepare to disperse your very particular flavor of humiliation upon your folks.

MATT: "I appreciate your candor and your professionalism."

TALIESIN: Any time. (claps) Let's--

TRAVIS: Our timeline is just to beat the other group, right? We don't know when they left or if they've already started.

TALIESIN: The game starts when the game starts.

TRAVIS: Fine.

MATT: "It's very likely they've been there for quite some time, waiting for your arrival. Another week or so beyond your currently, depending on how quickly you plan to travel, arrival date may have forfeited this entire wager and I'll be quite displeased."

LAURA: We'll be leaving very shortly.

LIAM and TALIESIN: Today.

SAM: Unless you have some sort of magical means of us getting there quicker or anything?

MATT: "I do not."

SAM: Okay, yeah.

MATT: "Not to the Heartmoor, my apologies."

LAURA: Do you have any connections with the pilots of these?

LIAM: The simurghs?

LAURA: Yes, them.

MATT: "I do not. A number of them are independently owned and I would not travel by such a base beast."

LIAM: Really? I think they're pretty cool.

LAURA: I do, too, yeah.

MATT: "Regardless, good luck, and please do not disappoint me."

SAM: Oh, one more question. You said your prior automaton? What was their design? Purpose? Assignment?

MATT: "Specifically, they were a guardian of mine. At least, that was how I had them commissioned. Before they were stolen."

TRAVIS: (chuckles) Your guardian was stolen! That's a shitty build.

MATT: "Indeed, and should you ever find the one responsible, there's quite the bounty on his head."

ASHLEY: Did your--

MATT: "Blue skin. Wide shoulders. Longer hair."

ASHLEY: Huh.

MATT: "You seemed to say you knew something about this."

LAURA: Huh.

TALIESIN: That's also a discussion for when we get back.

ASHLEY: Did your guardian have a soul?

MATT: "(chuckling) No."

ASHLEY: Well, that's what makes him special.

SAM: Well...

TALIESIN: (groans)

SAM: I mean...

LAURA: I think you do.

SAM: I don't--

TALIESIN: She's a weird one.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we're going to go.

ASHLEY: We're leaving, we're leaving.

TRAVIS: Thanks!

TALIESIN: I'll let you know.

MATT: "Be safe."

LIAM: Orym had, moments ago, grown out a little leaf and wedged it in his teeth. (laughter)

LIAM: Oh! Then he runs out.

SAM: Did he see it, did he see it?

MARISHA: What did you see?

LIAM: I saw spinach in my teeth!

MATT: All right, you exit the somewhat oppressively creepy manor and find yourselves walking once more through the Lucent Spire in the later afternoon of the Jrusar day.

LAURA: Oh gosh.

LIAM: I love the haunted mansion ride.

TALIESIN: We're heading to...

SAM: We just need to get out of town, right?

LAURA: Yeah, but I think we need to stop by Eshteross' on the way out. Let him know what we're doing and what we saw, and do you want to stop by Milo's and see if they have any idea of what was going on with you yesterday?

SAM: Yeah, sure, I mean, if we have time, I don't want to hold us up. We got to get gone.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it's a bit of a race now.

LAURA: Oh, yeah. It's already getting late. Do we want to head out in the night?

TRAVIS: Yes!

MARISHA: Is Milo's on the way? Is that a quick stop?

SAM: We also don't know how we're traveling, right?

TALIESIN: I'm going to assume we're just going to get some horses and make our way.

MARISHA and LAURA: ♪ Make our way ♪

TALIESIN: Yes, I know.

TRAVIS: Wow.

LIAM: Maybe Eshteross has a recommendation. If not, we'll get some sillgoats. Bare minimum.

SAM: Oh, man, that would be fun.

LIAM: Yeah?

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Let's find out.

LAURA: We had this whole discussion before we stopped.

LIAM: We did, we did.

LAURA: Then we just forgot it all. I don't remember what the call was.

MARISHA: I don't remember if we settled on anything.

LIAM: So much happened in the last 24 hours.

MATT: It's true.

ASHLEY: Well. Some of us go to-- Should some of us go to Eshteross and some of us go to the Krook House?

LAURA: Save some time so that we can get-- maybe some of us go see Milo. I mean, if you think it's worth it. I would hate for something worse to happen to you, Letters, while we're out on the road.

SAM: I mean, I feel wonderful right now. So, I don't know, I mean, we can go swing by Milo's while y'all go to Eshteross and meet up in two hours' time at a predetermined location to depart.

MARISHA: Should we have a Team Eshteross, a Team Get Horses, and a Team Milo's?

LAURA: Then meet up at the base? Oh, because it is on the way down, right? We'll meet at the base of the--

TRAVIS: Center Spire.

LAURA: The Core Spire

SAM: Center? Core.

MARISHA: Yes, where Milo's is.

LAURA: Milo's is in the Core Spire.

TALIESIN: The gate out of town is actually in one of the Spires. It's--

MATT: The Lantern Spire.

TALIESIN: The Lantern Spire, thank you.

MATT: But there is an actual bridge that goes from the Core Spire, it's the Fatewalk that goes from the Core Spire to the Lantern, and then down into the actual--

LAURA: All right, so let's meet at the gate. We'll meet at the bridge. We'll meet at the bridge that heads to the Lantern Spire.

SAM: In two hours?

LAURA: In two hours' time.

LAURA: All right.

TRAVIS: Team Horses? We're doing horses or are we taking simurghs?

LIAM: Well, see what you can find. Simurghs, horses, or sillgoats.

TRAVIS: Simurgh-- oh! Okay.

LIAM: One of those three.

MARISHA: I'll go with you.

LIAM: Simurghs are the fastest.

LAURA: I feel like I should go, I know horses.

ASHLEY: You know horses.

MARISHA: Oh, that's true. Want to come Team Horses?

LIAM: Oh, we got to get horses, then.

LAURA: Well, I mean, you know.

SAM: Then who's going to go to Eshteross, you?

ASHLEY: I can go to Eshteross.

LIAM: I mean, come on.

SAM: Should you bring a buddy? Or a minder?

MARISHA: Take Orym?

LIAM: Who's going to Eshteross?

SAM: Fearne, right now Fearne is solo Eshteross.

LIAM: I was talking about horses, sorry.

LAURA: Oh, I'll go, Eshteross, it's fine.

SAM: You're the horse expert.

LIAM: You're horse girl.

MARISHA: You should go get horses.

TRAVIS: I know horses. I've eaten a few. I have.

MARISHA: How about you go with Chetney, I'll go with Fearne.

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: And you?

LIAM: Where are you going?

SAM: To Eshteross!

MARISHA: Eshteross.

LIAM: Okay, so I'm going with you.

TALIESIN: Yeah, that's fine.

SAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: Boy, we're going to do great on this mission.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: "I'm coming with you."

LAURA: Great. You and me, Chet, to get horses.

SAM: It's a pair up.

LAURA: Let's do it.

ASHLEY: All right, come on, girl, let's go.

MARISHA: Let's go.

SAM: Let's go, girls.

MATT: "You stay here, make sure he doesn't leave." All right. So, for those going to Eshteross, I will begin with you. As you come to the manor, there you are greeted with his associate and left into the room. The main chamber where he emerges from his dining hall with his metallic cane once more, arm to the back. "Good morning."

ASHLEY and MARISHA: Good morning.

ASHLEY: We have much to tell you.

MATT: "Very well, I am at your disposal."

ASHLEY: Hoo, where to even start?

MARISHA: Where did we--

SAM: She doesn't know what to say.

MARISHA: Why did we come here?

ASHLEY: We came here--

TRAVIS: Big start, nothing after.

MARISHA: Shall we tell him about the slug?

ASHLEY: Yes. So we were leaving to go to the Heartmoor.

MARISHA: Yes, the Heartmoor. The Heartmoor--

ASHLEY: The Heartmoor Hamlet. To go do some stuff there.

MATT: "Right."

ASHLEY: But on the way there--

MATT: "Of course."

ASHLEY: We were on the bridge and we got stopped by the Greensleeves-- the Green Seekers. (laughter)

ASHLEY: They stopped us and then we ended up going to fight the-- Oh my god.

TRAVIS: Come on!

MARISHA: Tell him. Tell him what we saw.

ASHLEY: I think you should tell him.

MARISHA: All right. So. The Green Keepers were like--

MATT: "You were taken by the Green Seekers?"

MARISHA: The Green Seekers, that's what it is, not Keepers. We got badges!

ASHLEY: That's right.

MARISHA: They deputized us.

ASHLEY: Yeah. We're part of their-- It's a whole thing. We're deputies now. But we went underground.

MATT: Genuinely is like, what the fuck?

MARISHA: We're like two 11-year-olds trying to tell a story right now.

ASHLEY: And then, and then, and then!

TRAVIS: We went to the CIA and they deputized us.

ASHLEY: So we went to the Smolder Spire?

MARISHA: Yes, to the Underbrush Mine. Underrush Mine.

TRAVIS: Yep.

MARISHA: Because the Green Seekers were like, "Ooh, you're responsible and you're interacting with all the shady people."

ASHLEY: Then the guy, Gus, was also dating one of the people that was working at the Underrush farm. It was this whole thing that was so crazy.

MARISHA: Yes, Ogdes, do you know Ogdes?

MATT: "I know not of this individual."

MARISHA: It was very dramatic.

ASHLEY: So we went down below.

MATT: He starts looking over towards his half finished breakfast. Like you're starting to lose him.

TRAVIS: With longing? (laughter)

MATT: "Go on."

ASHLEY: We went down below and we fought a bunch of shade creepers, but then we found...

MARISHA: This creepy-- and I ever so slightly start transforming into what she looked like-- slug monster named the Shade Mother. She was speaking in our minds and shit and she was like, "Ooh, come here my children, ha!"

ASHLEY: She was 60 feet long.

MATT: "That's terrifying."

ASHLEY: She had a really big, sluggy ass, and...

MARISHA: Yes. She was like...

ASHLEY: Really gross.

MARISHA: She had a secretion. She would secrete on us.

MATT: "That is disgusting."

ASHLEY: Like a caramel sharting.

MARISHA: "Yes."

MATT: He adjusts his cravat.

ASHLEY: Yeah, it was gross.

TALIESIN: Caramel sharting.

MARISHA: But, then!

ASHLEY: We captured, yes.

MARISHA: We captured--

ASHLEY: Captured Lady Emoth in a circle and got her out of there.

MARISHA: We had to roll her down the street.

SAM: Go get some popcorn.

ASHLEY: Got a purple stone.

SAM: Just go. Go get some popcorn. Now's a good time.

TRAVIS: I mean, Matt does this at the top of every episode like no problem.

LIAM: Not the caramel popcorn.

LAURA: Oh god!

LIAM: Just the regular.

ASHLEY: And a purple stone that changes people.

MARISHA: That's apparently called a Gnarlrock and it's from the fey realm or something.

MATT: "This was yesterday?" (laughter)

ASHLEY: Yes, so basically, we just came to tell you that all the shade creepers and all the stuff coming out of the walls and the holes, there's a big mother down there that's doing all of it.

MARISHA: But Lady Emoth is arrested and in the hands of the Green Seekers. Oh! Green Seekers. They said that they were being employed by Mistress Seshadri!

MATT: "Hmm. Interesting."

LAURA: Oh, there it is.

ASHLEY: There it is!

TALIESIN: Dun-dun-dun!

ASHLEY: There was a lot of backstory that we had to give you.

MARISHA: Yes. And we're going to go now, but we just wanted to tell you all of that.

MATT: "Thank you very much."

MARISHA: Any questions?

ASHLEY: Any baked goods?

MARISHA: Cookies for the road?

MATT: "Yes. Cookies." He gets a tray of cookies. Brings them over. You can tell there's a ginger snap type scent to them as he holds them out to you, but he's still processing all the information. He goes, "So, Seshadri was the one hiring the Green Seekers?"

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: "What were they seeking?"

MARISHA: They were seeking the people who were responsible for destroying the Moon Tower.

MATT: "Do you get the sense that these Seekers ought to be trusted, or are they working with the enemy?"

ASHLEY: No, I think they're to be trusted.

MARISHA: They were really nice.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: They were like, "Oh, we just want to do things for good." Ashton was like, "Mm, blah, I only do things for money because money talks and bullshit walks," and they were like, "Meh," and then we were like--

MATT: "That is actually a very good impression."

ASHLEY: Very good.

TALIESIN: Wow. Dark mirror.

MATT: "I will contemplate on this. It would be nice to think we have others in places of power that we can call allies beyond my small circle."

MARISHA: Oh! Yes, and! And! She said, or the Green Seekers, their names were Olly and Gus.

MATT: "I'm aware of them, yes."

MARISHA: Yes, and they said that Mistress Seshadri hates Armand.

ASHLEY: Hates him, so much.

MARISHA: Just despises him.

MATT: "Interesting." Hands over the platter of cookies, full platter to you and goes like, "Hmm. This is good to know. This gives me something to ruminate on while you go about your journey. Thank you for letting me know. I will discuss with my network of birds and allies and see what can be done next. Travel safe. Be wary of the Wilds. It can be strange."

MARISHA: Hmm! How are they?

ASHLEY: They're so good.

MARISHA: Give me a cookie.

ASHLEY: So snappy.

MARISHA: All right, thank you!

MATT: "Stick to the Honored Trails, please."

MARISHA: The Honored Trails.

ASHLEY: Honored Trails? Okay. How, why? Just that's what you do, okay. We're going to go.

MATT: "Perhaps the Wilds have many alluring mysteries within, but they are known superstitiously to have shifted and changed based on whatever entities call those places home. Welcoming or not, it is hard to tell. So be wary. The trails are the most safe."

ASHLEY: Anything else?

MATT: "I would like the rest of my cookies, please."

MARISHA: Oh, well, you know, it'd be awesome to take one for the rest of the Hells.

ASHLEY: I mean, there's only two left now.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

MARISHA: 14.

LAURA: That's pretty good.

MARISHA: It's not bad.

MATT: "Split the rest amongst you."

ASHLEY: Well, there's only two left because I ate a lot of them.

MARISHA: Fearne! There were seven left!

TRAVIS: "(muffled) There's only two left."

MATT: "Take them, I'll take the tray."

MARISHA: Can we keep the tray?

MATT: "I want my tray! Thank you very much."

MARISHA: Okay, all right. Thank you.

MATT: Tucks it under his arm, gets his cane back up. "Sorry. Travel safe."

ASHLEY: Thank you.

MATT: "Let me know when you return."

MARISHA: All right.

MATT: "Maybe there'll be more cookies."

ASHLEY: Okay, bye, we love you-- Or bye, and stuff. (laughter)

MATT: He takes two steps away and stops.

ASHLEY: Sorry.

MATT: Shakes his head and just keeps walking.

ASHLEY: It's like when you're watching a show and you're like, "Enjoy the show," but they're just taking your ticket.

LIAM: Why limit yourself to the player characters?

ASHLEY: Okay, bye!

TALIESIN: You too! Oh, fuck.

MATT: Every campaign, got to have one PC-NPC romance, bring it in! We already see you're not ageist, it's great.

ASHLEY: It was just one of those, "Goodbye, love you. Why did I say that?!"

LIAM: You're so much older than him, though.

MARISHA: That was my manager!

TRAVIS: Now Eshteross has to die. (laughter)

ASHLEY: To the bridge.

MARISHA: To the bridge!

MATT: All right. Now going to Krook House. The two of you trek back.

SAM: Three.

MATT: Three, that's right.

SAM: You're with us, Orym.

MATT: Trek down through the Fownsee Hollow, down through the network of metal ramshackle ridges and platforms and ladders until eventually you come down to the familiar exterior of the Krook House.

LIAM: So, is it The Bells Hells or is it Bells Hells?

TALIESIN: I mean, I'm just assuming Bellz Hellz, but I was thinking with Zs.

LIAM: But you threw a The in.

TALIESIN: Well, you got to be able to be fast and loose with it.

LIAM: Okay, well, I just want us all to be able to say the same, so. We're The Bells Hells.

LIAM and SAM: We're Bells Hells.

LIAM: We're Bells Hells.

TALIESIN: I'm a Bells Hell.

SAM: If we're around children, it should be Bells Hecks, probably. (laughter)

LIAM: Becks Hecks.

SAM: Becks Hecks or Bells Hells.

LIAM: All right.

TALIESIN: Bill's Becks.

LIAM: How long have you lived in this city, by the way?

TALIESIN: Oh. Quite a few years.

LIAM: You seem to be in the shit with everyone we meet.

TALIESIN: Yeah, yeah. I'm bad at saying no, so you just end up in bed with an awful lot of people, so to speak.

LIAM: Literally or figuratively?

TALIESIN: Mostly figuratively, honestly. But, hey, look where we are. (knocking) Milo! Anni!

MATT: "What?"

TALIESIN: Who was that? I'm not entirely sure.

MATT: Milo.

TALIESIN: Okay, then. Oh, excellent, Milo.

MATT: "Come in."

TALIESIN: Thank you.

MATT: You come in and there's this large wooden bowl that's filled with an oatmeal-type concoction with raisins in it and a big old spoon that looks massive in Milo's smaller form. They have large glasses on their face and the knitted cap pulled tightly over the ears as they're sitting there scooping big mouthfuls. "What?"

TALIESIN: Is this what everybody does at this hour? They're fucking eating? This is what I'm missing? This is why I said--

MATT: "You want some?"

TALIESIN: No. No.

MATT: "Good."

MARISHA: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Cool. I have a quick question. We are going--

MATT: "Hi!"

SAM: Hi!

TALIESIN: Actually--

MATT: "Good to see you."

SAM: You too, Milo.

TALIESIN: FCG's been having a little bit of a problem. I don't want to say, I don't want to overstate.

MATT: Immediately leaps, the bowl tips and spills a little bit on the table as Milo's right in your face. They're glancing over you, adjusting their glasses.

SAM: Yeah, I ran into some interesting sort of hiccups yesterday. It wasn't physical. It was more of like, I don't know.

MATT: "Okay. Okay."

SAM: Internal assignments.

MATT: "Help me out. Get him on the table."

TALIESIN: All right. All right, here we go.

MATT: On your back in the middle of Milo's tinkering table.

SAM: Sure. I'll take my hair wires and offer them to Milo in case he wants to examine the ends of them or plug them into anything.

MATT: As they want to.

SAM: As they want to, yeah.

TALIESIN: Just try and relax. It'll be fine. I've been here.

LIAM: Hi! I'm Orym.

MATT: "Oh hey, yeah. Hi. Welcome." Goes ahead and pulls a lantern and scoots it over and has a two hooded sides that clamp down to focus the light down over where you're arranged on the table as they start reaching out and grabbing some tools and start strapping elements of your body down.

TALIESIN: I'm going to put the hammer down so you can stand on it.

MATT: "Let me know if this gets uncomfortable at all."

SAM: Sure.

TALIESIN: There you go.

MATT: They grab a small headband and place it over, and a couple of large magnifying glasses, almost comically large in some cases, begin to be arranged in front of their face as they glance in closely. Giving you look over and goes, "It's hard to pinpoint, but it looks like there's a lot of a pent up energy. It's like a faint vibration or buzz to the body. It's odd."

SAM: Pent up energy?

MATT: "Yeah."

SAM: Okay. Where, and is it being stored anywhere?

MATT: Just listening and listening and listening. Listening. (giggling)

SAM: Oh god, do I have to have sex to get rid of it? (laughter)

MATT: (exasperated) No!

ASHLEY: You got to let it out.

MATT: No!

ASHLEY: Got to let it out.

LAURA: Self help. Self care.

ASHLEY: Yeah, self care.

TALIESIN: So many options.

SAM: Oh boy.

MATT: God. (laughter)

SAM: I have one regular hand and one buzz saw hand. (laughter)

TRAVIS: You're pent up. You're buzzing. You're halfway there.

MATT: This was a better time before it all became a dating simulator at the table.

TALIESIN: Think of it more like you have something for everybody.

SAM: That's right.

MATT: "It's very, very minute. It seems wherever the metallic elements of your body are, so most everywhere beyond just your wheel down there."

SAM: Oh. Okay. Do you know if this type of energy buildup can be conducted or stored or somehow, I don't know, siphoned?

ASHLEY: Released?

SAM: Yeah, released? Splooged?

MATT: "Not in--" (laughter)

TALIESIN: Cleansed.

SAM: These are technical robotics terms.

LIAM: Skip the jargon, please. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Whoa! (laughter)

MATT: "I'm not entirely certain I know if or how this can be splooged, per se. It might just need time."

SAM: All right. Well, I rested. I went into stasis mode and I feel much better.

MATT: "So that could be it. That could be it."

SAM: Maybe that just does.

MATT: "I have myself arranged a few devices with low level arcane powering internals, and when utilized aggressively over long periods of time, sometimes there is arcane feedback, sometimes if the device isn't soundly put together, it can begin to rattle apart. There's many different things. I don't think that's the worry here, but I'm just saying, generally over time, they restore their energy. Sometimes it's in the view of enchanted charges they need to restore over time. Could be a similar circumstance."

TALIESIN: I wasn't worried before, and now I'm thinking about it.

SAM: Thank you so much. Hey, while we're here, I don't want to interrupt if you need anything, but we're going out on the road and I was wondering if there was anything you had cooked up, like before, you patched me up so good when Ashton brought me in, and even sort of in some ways made me even better than before. I didn't know if there was any advancements that you had been thinking of in the off time. Like for instance, I have this grappling hook that I fire out sometimes.

MATT: "Oh, wow."

SAM: Yeah. But it takes a long time to prep it and reset it and stuff.

MATT: "Let me take a look." They grab it from your hand and start looking at where the different joints are meeting at the side of your body and take a couple of devices and clamp them around and pull it apart slightly. It doesn't hurt. It just feels like pressure. "Huh. Okay, yeah. I can see why it takes a while to put on here. There's some wear and tear, some long acquired, long acquired damage in the inside of these joints. I can take care of this right now."

SAM: Great!

MATT: They jump up onto the table, right over you, almost straddling you at the side and start grabbing different sections of a crushed dark cobalt metal and begin grinding it into a mortar and pestle circumstance. They start pushing it into an odd gray putty and ball bearings as well. It's so fast. You're not quite understanding how the mechanics of this function, but within the next 30 or 40 minutes, has arranged an additional layer around where that joint is and goes, "All right, watch this. If you press in this little side element here and twist it," and the shoulder just pops off.

SAM: Woo!

MATT: "Now to fix this same connecting point to the grappling arm and you just go ahead and," (clicks) it slides back and then clicks into place. You feel it's a little off. "Oh, hold on a second." Tweaks it a little bit and gets it right where it's supposed to be.

SAM: Wow.

MATT: "So with this it should be able to be very easy to drop one and put the other in."

SAM: This is amazing! Thank you so much! Wow! You're amazing!

LIAM: Do you understand any of this?

MATT: "Hey. It should work."

TALIESIN: No.

SAM: It should work?

MATT: "I don't know. I've never done this before."

SAM: Yeah, this is great. It feels awesome! I'm going to move it around and make sure that it's working correctly.

MATT: It's working correctly. There's a little drift as you move, but it's correctable, maybe.

SAM: Yeah, I can correct for that. I'll just have to--

TRAVIS: Plug it in.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: So just note, tell me if you ever a roll a one.

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: Oh!

TRAVIS: Oh, yeah!

SAM: Good to know. Good to know. Good to know.

TALIESIN: Cool.

SAM: Thank you.

MATT: But you can now, essentially, switch out your arm to the grappling arm and/or the buzz saw arm as part of your action.

TRAVIS: Let's go.

MARISHA: Yes!

LAURA and LIAM: Whoa!

ASHLEY: That is so cool.

SAM: What does that mean? So it takes one action to change them?

LIAM: Change and use.

MATT: It's just like drawing a weapon. You can just (mechanical noises), and use it in the same turn.

ASHLEY: That is so cool!

LAURA: That's huge!

MARISHA: That is so cool!

SAM: Thank you, Milo.

ASHLEY: Let's go!

TALIESIN: Thank you for your magic.

SAM: That is really good.

MATT: "Of course. No. I'll put it on your tab."

TALIESIN: We're going out for a couple weeks. Pack some business. Hopefully the last one.

MATT: "Okay. Good luck."

TALIESIN: Nothing to be done about it.

MATT: "I mean, we could just run."

TALIESIN: Yeah. That'll work. That'll work real well.

MATT: "Yeah, that's true. That's true. All right, well, just don't get killed. Preferably. If you do, leave a note saying you leave your shit to me."

TALIESIN: That should be obvious. Oh, actually, if I do die and you see Anni, tell her that I believe in her, and that it's not about talent, it's about tenacity and she's got tenacity.

MATT: "Okay."

TALIESIN: That'll be my legacy. Cool.

MATT: "All right."

TALIESIN: You all right?

LIAM: Sure.

MATT: "You take care of yourself."

SAM: Will do.

MATT: "Good to see you. Bye."

SAM: Bye. Anything you need from the wilds?

MATT: "You're going to the wilds?"

SAM: Oh, yeah.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LIAM: Do you need scrap metal or anything?

MATT: "Yeah, any stray ingots. Any, ah..."

TALIESIN: Ah, yeah.

MARISHA: Stray ingots?

MATT: "Any scrap you can find."

TRAVIS: That's just some metal.

TALIESIN: If I see something I think you'll like, I'll bring it back.

MATT: "That'd be great. Yeah. That'd be perfect."

TALIESIN: Always.

MATT: "Cool."

SAM: All right.

TALIESIN: Don't touch my stuff for three weeks.

SAM: All right. To the Fatewalk.

TALIESIN: To the Fatewalk.

LIAM: Do you actually have stuff?

TALIESIN: I have some clothes. I have things I sleep in. You know, I've got some art that I made.

LIAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: I've got a cup.

LIAM: You've been wearing that coat for weeks.

TALIESIN: Smells okay. I don't have sweat sweat. It's more of an oily coating.

LIAM: I just assume whatever happens with you when you are punching things bakes it off.

TALIESIN: That's actually, that's a pretty good idea. I haven't really thought about it that hard. I probably should.

LIAM: I hop onto FCG (zooms) (laughter)

SAM: Let's go! Let's go!

MATT: It's always good to have a Segway in the party. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Why don't we do that more often? I will keep up jogging. That light trot jog that you have to do when you have a kid who's running off and you're like, "Can't run full speed."

MATT: It's cool. The Segway motion lasts you probably about 30, 40 feet before you come to your first of many ladders, in which case you have to help FCG up there.

LIAM: Go! (laughter)

MATT: Team Horses!

SAM: Team Horses.

MATT: (laughs) It's the best kind!

TRAVIS: Mm-mm!

MATT: Indeed.

LAURA: No! We're not eating any horses today.

TRAVIS: You don't know!

LAURA: Do you eat horses when you're not a wolf?

TRAVIS: Well, no. There was a little leftover one time, but without a campfire, it was kind of crap eating.

LAURA: Yeah. I would imagine.

MATT: Okay. You come eventually to the outermost portion of the Lantern District, right before it begins to descend in the switchback path that heads into the heart of the jungle surrounding Jrusar. There, you come upon, and you saw this when you were coming into the city specifically, and you probably saw it when you were coming in as well, the first time. You definitely saw it because you have history of loving and appreciating horses, it's called the Rapid Path Stables. It is a large stable in a carved, for lack of a better term, a pseudo pasture they've tried to develop by taking down a number of trees and keeping a space here that is mostly cleared. It's not anywhere near the open fields that you grew up in, but definitely as far as a dense jungle, this is at least space for horses to run around while they're awaiting whether it be training, being reared and raised, or being sold off to somebody who needs them like right now. It probably makes a good amount of clients as they come through, people who bring a horse with them and want to sell it to the stable and then resell it to those leaving. But as you approach the front, you do see an older gentleman, weathered, rosy-brown skin, a big, big bushy black and gray, salt and pepper beard, a big old chin beard right there. Wild hair on the sides, balding on top, a small round button nose in the middle, and this bright smile as you approach, He's in the process of brushing one of the horses at the front. "Hello, friends! You look intent with business."

LAURA: Potentially. Yeah. We're planning on making our way to the Heartmoor--

TRAVIS: ♪ Makin' our way ♪

LAURA: -- to the Heartmoor Hamlet.

MATT: "Okay. Very well. Do you need two horses for this journey?"

TRAVIS: Oh no, we're going to need more than that, but is it just horses that you have? We've also heard a lot about the sillgoats.

MATT: "I do not carry sillgoats at this establishment."

TRAVIS: Why not?

MATT: "Unfortunately. Because we focus on horses, my apolo--"

TRAVIS: But don't sillgoats, they traverse the terrain, the mountainous stuff, right? They're better at that?

MATT: "They are, yes."

TRAVIS: Do you know anyone that has sillgoats, since this establishment doesn't think to cover that sort of transportation?

SAM: Jesus.

LAURA: Chet. (laughter)

MATT: "If you want sillgoats, this is not the place for you."

LAURA: No, I understand that.

MATT: "We focus on horses."

LAURA: I understand that.

SAM: What do you mean we can't get a cheesecake at my Forever 21? (laughter)

LAURA: Would you recommend taking a horse into the Heartmoor Hamlet? I did hear that the terrain is rather rough.

MATT: "If you stay on the paths, it should be all right."

LAURA: All right.

MATT: "The trails are designed for horses. I would not be selling them in these jungles otherwise. If you are looking to go off the paths, that gets a little more difficult, and sillgoats maybe more your interest, but those are also far more dangerous and likely to lose the goats along the way based on what you run into."

LAURA: Probably horses, then.

TRAVIS: Yeah. I mean, they feed you longer.

LAURA: So we're looking for some sturdy horses. We've got... Hold on, let me do the math. One, two, three, four. Four plus Orym, you, and FCG, so probably five horses altogether.

LIAM: I'm not here, but do you fold?

MARISHA: Oh, yeah. What happens to your landing gear?

TRAVIS: Laudna? Oh, yeah, she just... No problem.

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: Maybe we can take the wheel off? I think we could take the wheel off. That would be much slower.

TALIESIN: That's true.

MARISHA: Roll me in a bundle.

SAM: I could be a wagon behind.

LAURA: We can try to figure it out, but FCG is about the same weight as a normal body that same size, so I imagine it would be meaning to...

TRAVIS: Yeah. Five should be fine.

ASHLEY: Backwards wheels?

LAURA: I don't know how that works.

SAM: I want to be a wagon. (laughter)

LAURA: Just hold on and--

TRAVIS: Do you have any carts or wagons as an accessory sale or anything like that?

MATT: "Yes, we do actually carry wagons as well, if you would like."

TRAVIS: Wagons, but no sillgoats.

LAURA: But would it slow down the travel a lot? I mean, a very small wagon, we would need a chariot sort of situation.

MATT: "We have various sizes. A smaller wagon should not impede movement travel. Unless you're in a full gallop, it won't slow the horse down, but I can't guarantee it'll be comfortable for whatever goods or individuals you wish to keep within the cart."

TRAVIS: Excuse me, I have to speak to my associate for a second. Did you just ask for a fucking chariot?

LAURA: A small wagon.

TRAVIS: But a chariot?

LAURA: I said about the size of a chariot. I'm not asking for a fucking chariot.

TRAVIS: I mean, we can get a chariot. I mean, FCG could probably build one.

LAURA: Can you build a chariot? You're good with wood.

TRAVIS: I mean, if you want some fine craftsmanship, I can make you just--

LAURA: Maybe we shouldn't be buying anything. Can you work fast? I haven't seen you do anything fast yet, Chet.

TRAVIS: I don't know how this turned on me, but if you had sillgoats, we wouldn't be in this situation.

MATT: "I don't--" (laughter)

LAURA: How much would that run us? Five horses?

MATT: "Let's see, five horses. I'm going to do some calculator work here for a second. Plus the cart you were requesting would be 340 gold."

LAURA: Okay. If we weren't purchasing them, but we're potentially renting them for a few weeks to bring back.

MATT: "I will say that will cost you 150 gold, with a 150 gold deposit, because bringing various mounts and beasts of burden through these jungles comes with the dangers. Some don't come back, but you can retrieve that 150 should they all make their way back safely."

LAURA: All right. I'm going to discuss with my... with my friend.

MATT: "Of course."

TRAVIS: Associate.

LAURA: With my associate, sure. Yeah. That's better. That's a better title, I would say.

TRAVIS: It sounds more professional.

LAURA: Yeah.

LAURA: I don't have that much money on me, but I know you have a lot of money on you.

TRAVIS: Yeah. We're good. That was a great ask, 150 plus 150.

LAURA: That's not bad.

TRAVIS: That's amazing. Those horses are never coming back.

LAURA: Yeah, that's reasonable. I would know that's reasonable, right? It's reasonable. (laughter)

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: I dig it.

LAURA: Yeah, do you have that kind of gold on you, Chet?

TRAVIS: I do.

LAURA: Yeah?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: All right.

TRAVIS: Three hundo for the five horses and the chariot carriage?

MATT: "That is correct."

TRAVIS: Hmm. Okay. Sounds good!

LAURA: Yeah, that sounds pretty good.

MATT: "Very well, you pay upfront, both the payment and your deposit, and I will retrieve them."

LAURA: Could we look at the horses before we head out?

MATT: "Yes, of course. We have quite a few to choose from."

TRAVIS: I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name.

MATT: "My name is Willam."

TRAVIS: Willam?

MATT: "Willam."

TRAVIS: Mm.

LAURA: It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.

MATT: "What is your name?"

LAURA: Imogen.

MATT: "Imogen, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance as well. Let's look at some horses."

SAM: Oh shit.

MATT: He leads you through the large stables, and there are multiple stable hands and individuals tending to the horses, making sure they're okay. There are some that are currently being cleaned, and there are some that are being prepped for riding with fresh horseshoes, barding. Depending on people's needs for their travels, some of them are being arranged for pulling a cart. Some are being arranged for solo riding. Some are for more light travel, fast messenger horses. All manner of different setups here, but what are you looking for in particular?

LAURA: Sturdy. If we did end up off the trail, horses that could traverse non-trail situations. (laughs)

MATT: Actually, the majority of them here are brought here specifically because they're more attuned to this topography anyway. So yeah, easy enough to find, and I'll say there are five horses of whatever color scheme of preference you'd like.

SAM and LIAM: Oh boy.

MATT: Within natural limits.

SAM: Give her 20 minutes.

LIAM: To the character creator we go.

LAURA: I know, oh no.

ASHLEY: I'm so glad Laura's handling this.

TRAVIS: We need a chestnut, a paint.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

TRAVIS: Arabian.

LAURA: Do you have like-- I want one that's tawny, you know?

MATT: Okay, yeah.

LAURA: One that is all black.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: That would probably be far more expensive, I'm assuming, so I think all black with a mark on it so it's still affordable. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Put a little heart mark on it.

LAURA: No, that's way more expensive. Probably one paw or something.

TALIESIN: A weird little skull.

LAURA: (laughs) One paw. Like horses have paws. (laughter)

TRAVIS: They have paws now.

TALIESIN: Like a moth. (laughter)

MATT: Horse with claws would be freaky.

TRAVIS: We get that purple stone, we'll get some claws on it. (laughter)

LIAM: Just four hands.

MATT: Yep.

TALIESIN: Note to self--

MATT: Human hands.

TALIESIN: Horse with claws.

MATT: That's some Kingdom Death shit right there.

TRAVIS: If you saw some horses that were like--

LAURA: I feel like I've seen that on it.

TRAVIS: Five digits on the ground. Oh!

MATT: I'm pretty sure that that almost got animated into our series. (laughter)

SAM: That's three?

LAURA: That's three. No, I said--

SAM: Tawny, blackish.

LAURA: Uh huh.

TRAVIS: Paint, chestnut.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: Chestnut.

LAURA: And a pretty brown one with like a--

TRAVIS: You don't want one that's all white?

SAM: Yeah, I mean, that seems like your thing.

TALIESIN: This is a fantasy realm.

LAURA: I don't want a replacement for Flora.

SAM: Oh, okay.

LAURA: I want, you know.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: All right. Easy enough to find approximate proxies to what you're looking for.

LAURA: Good personalities, I'm looking for good personalities.

MATT: Yeah, which you would, as a person who has spent a lot of time in your youth working with horses, know how to find the ones that work well, follow well, seem to not be too temperamental, at least somewhat experienced in traveling these spaces and aren't spooked to be taken from their comfort zone. So yeah, you gather up five horses, and they are affixed with saddles and reins. You're given a cart, and one of them is situated to carry. It is small enough, so there isn't heavy equipment necessarily, but looks like it'll pull pretty evenly.

LAURA: Great.

TRAVIS: Are there any markings or brands or anything that identify these as property of the Rapid Path Stables?

MATT: You can make an investigation check or a perception check.

TRAVIS: Yeah. I want to check out this horse.

LAURA: How are they around Chetney? Are they skittish at all around?

TRAVIS: 20.

MATT: 20. Also, make an animal handling check for me.

SAM: Animal handling.

TRAVIS: Ooh. I haven't made one of these in five years. 16.

MATT: 16. Not too bad with Chetney, especially with his probing looks and lifting around different parts of the horses. One of them begins to pull a leg up, and you're waiting for it to kick him in the head, and it just (sighs) gets comfortable again, so he's going on okay.

TRAVIS: Yeah, you got to recognize the alpha.

LAURA: I'm actually really impressed, Chet.

TRAVIS: Thanks.

MATT: The saddles are marked, and you notice that beneath the saddles, there is also a marking on the rear beneath where it sits. They are not branded. These horses are not branded. It is just a magically-applied symbol to it.

LAURA: Like a temporary tattoo.

TALIESIN: Just like--

MATT: More or less, yeah.

LAURA: All right.

TALIESIN: Stick the horse, stick it on.

LAURA: We should probably...

TRAVIS: Three hundo for you. You will definitely see these horses again in better care than they were picked up. Not to say they weren't in good care. They're very clean, well-tended. Just saying they might, you know, they could use a little.

MATT: "I appreciate your judgment, but more appreciate your patronage."

TRAVIS: You're welcome.

LAURA: We should go back up because I told her we would meet at the bridge, like a moron, and that way we can probably get supplies and stuff before we bring back down. This is on the way out of town, right?

MATT: Correct, yeah.

LAURA: All right, cool then.

MATT: They can hold the horses for you until you're ready to go.

LAURA: Great, we should be back very shortly.

MATT: "That is fine. I'll keep them at the ready at the front of the stables."

LAURA: Thank you so much. Chet, I have a question--

TRAVIS: Huh? Yep.

LAURA: -- for you as we're going back up. You traveled a lot before you came here, right?

TRAVIS: Yes.

LAURA: Did you ever, in all your travels, see a storm that was red?

TRAVIS: A red storm?

LAURA: Uh-huh.

TRAVIS: God, this is like one of those furniture-comes-to-life questions, hmm? (laughter)

LAURA: I just...

TRAVIS: No. I've seen storms that kind of turned green, but that's usually part of a thunderstorm or a wind vortex or a tornado or something like that. Red, no. Have you?

LAURA: Well, yes, yeah, haven't I, yeah. Just in my dreams, not in real life. But last night, anyway, the storm... I noticed it smelled like iron, and I never noticed that before, and I just didn't know if maybe you knew what would cause something like that. I know you have a really strong sense of smell.

TRAVIS: Sure, I mean that's the smell of blood.

LAURA: Yeah, that's what I was afraid of.

TRAVIS: You've never personally seen a red storm, right? This is just a dream?

LAURA: Yeah, I've never seen it.

TRAVIS: And you've never met your mother?

LAURA: No.

TRAVIS: Are you sure this didn't happen to you when you were very, very young and you just are remembering it? I don't mean to get too deep with it. I'm just saying it seems such a reoccurring thing. Is something trying to push its way to the surface?

LAURA: Yeah. No, I've never thought of that. I don't believe that it happened when I was young. I feel like I would've known.

TRAVIS: Is there any magic in your family?

LAURA: Not that I know of, but of course, my mom is in that weird little essay that I found, so I would love to find out.

TRAVIS: So yes.

LAURA: Potentially.

TRAVIS: I'm a little new with this blood magic stuff, but let me tell you. The power in blood, it's something else. This isn't the only thing that people can do with it. I mean, I'm fucking amazing when I change, and I know the attraction is real, so let's keep it on the low, but--

LAURA: Oh, I know your feelings are strong for Fearne.

TRAVIS: But I mean there are other things that people can do with it. Maybe the red storm isn't an analogy or a metaphor. What if it's real?

LAURA: Yeah, that would be fucking terrifying.

TRAVIS: If your mom's in a library somewhere, it's something terrifying.

LAURA: Yeah. Well, hopefully we'll find out more soon.

TRAVIS: Ooh! (laughter)

TRAVIS: This is going to get good! I mean, the more I learn, I'll share with you. Maybe if you learn, then all of a sudden, I become a blood wizard, a blood wolf wizard, oh fuck! (laughter)

LAURA: Unstoppable, really.

TRAVIS: Oh my god! I'll get, like, a hat and robes. This'll be great! I'll get red robes, and then we'll be the Red Seekers, the Red Sleeves.

LAURA: I like it. Ooh, I like that a lot. (gasps) The Red Sleeves.

TRAVIS: You really like it, or are you just going along with it?

LAURA: No, I hate it. I hate the idea of it, but I do like the idea of seeing you in a little red wizard robe. That sounds really cool.

TRAVIS: I'm just saying, I wouldn't turn it down.

LAURA: All right, if I see one.

TRAVIS: I don't try to hide these guns.

LAURA: What is that tattoo, by the way?

TRAVIS: RTA, right there.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah, got to "Recognize The Alpha."

SAM: Oh god.

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

SAM: Oh god.

TRAVIS: What, you don't? Look, Imogen, there's an alpha inside all of us, okay?

SAM: Oh no. (laughter)

SAM: Oh no.

TRAVIS: You got to learn to assert dominance.

SAM: He's been saying it the whole time.

TRAVIS: I let Ashton put himself forward there, but we know who's really leading this pack.

MATT: Make an intelligence check for me, Imogen.

LAURA: Okay, I will. I will do that.

LIAM: Do we all need to make wisdom saves?

LAURA: Yeah. Intelligence check.

TALIESIN: I feel much better with every plan I've been making for the last five minutes.

LAURA: 11.

MATT: That's fine. You know enough to know that most of the existing study on alpha mentality is based on completely debunked information about wolves. (laughter)

MATT: With the actual physiology and sociology of their history, it is untrue, and anyone that claims anything about being an alpha is completely speaking on a basis of falsehood.

LAURA: Yeah. (laughter)

SAM: We got a real-time fact checker.

MARISHA: Oh my god!

TRAVIS: Just remember, when you feel a little unsure, tap into the alpha.

LAURA: Yeah, I will. Anyone can be an alpha?

TRAVIS: Well, sure!

LAURA: All right.

TRAVIS: You just have to recognize it.

LAURA: I like that.

TRAVIS: I'll remind you.

LAURA: Thank you, I'm sure you will.

TALIESIN: Wow.

MARISHA: I thought it was actually the Royal Tinkering Academy or something. (laughter)

MATT: Oh, Travis.

LIAM: What's the Santa Claus pun that's going to hit us?

MARISHA: So fucking good.

MATT: Travis, get your third character ready. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Got him in, locked and loaded. (laughter)

TRAVIS: This one's lasted much longer than I thought. (laughter)

SAM: Wow.

MATT: Oh my goodness.

TALIESIN: Wow. I'm so pleased.

SAM: Oh man, can't wait for a Chetney plush in three years where you press the button, and it's like, "Recognize the alpha." (laughter)

TALIESIN: Oh, I hate it all.

MATT: All right.

LIAM: His next character is an elven great-grandfather. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Older.

ALL: And older. (laughter)

TRAVIS: (elderly voice) I really want to adventure. (laughter)

TRAVIS: I just need someone to pull me along. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

LIAM: He just has Levitate. That's it.

MATT: Yeah. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Real question, though.

LAURA: Yeah?

TRAVIS: Um, who stays with the horses while we go get everybody else? Are they meeting us there?

LAURA: No, no, no, they said they could stay there, and then we'll go get everyone, come back down, and grab the horses.

TRAVIS: Okay, great.

MATT: So, you all reconvene at the exterior of the Fatewalk within the Lantern Spire.

SAM: We should go, yeah?

LAURA: We should go. I need to make sure we have enough supplies for the road, right?

SAM: Sure.

LAURA: Quickly hit the market and grab a bunch of shit.

MATT: Okay, what are you looking to grab?

LAURA: Enough food, you know, supplies.

MARISHA: Water skins.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: That's fine. Food for the trip for the whole group, I'll say for the trip there and back, there and back again, if you will, I'll put it at about 10 gold each of you.

LAURA: Right.

LIAM: Okay.

MARISHA: 10 gold each?

MATT: 10 gold each.

LAURA: You want me to cover you?

LIAM: I got it for now.

TALIESIN: I can cover, if you're--

LIAM: Nah.

TALIESIN: Okay.

LIAM: ♪ Because I'm talking about the rude ♪

SAM: While we're at the market, I'm going to pick up a drop of blood, a piece of flesh, pinch of bone dust?

MATT: Sure, grab the things you need, the normal stuff, you know.

SAM: Yeah, the normal stuff. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Do you need those for certain--?

SAM: Yeah, I have a list of fucking spell shit that I need.

LIAM: You need blood?

SAM: Yes, to-- one of them, a jeweled-- You got blood?

TRAVIS: I'm full of it.

SAM: Great. I need graveyard dirt.

MARISHA: Oh, I've got you there.

SAM: Oh great, great, all right.

MARISHA: I shake some out of my hair. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Scratch, scratch, scratch.

MATT: How about a gold for feed for all the horses for the trip as well?

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: Do you have a little Easy Bake oven that the stuff goes into?

SAM: I have a backpack.

LIAM: Right, no, I know that. I mean when you use them.

SAM: That is a good question.

TRAVIS: Do you need live blood, or do you need blood from someone who has died?

SAM: Just a drop. It says drop of blood.

TRAVIS: Okay.

ASHLEY: We can all provide that pretty easily.

LAURA: We can give you blood whenever you need it.

SAM: Okay. You seem a little eager to share your blood with me.

TRAVIS: (growly voice) Take my blood.

TALIESIN: It's your shopping list that's making everything weird. Everyone is else is just trying to be nice. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Robo-wolf.

MATT: All righty.

MARISHA: (laughs) Everyone's just trying to be nice.

MATT: Any other specific materials? I mean, general goods are available.

SAM: Incense?

MATT: Incense you can do as well.

LAURA: A couple ropes. We need some ropes probably.

MATT: Okay, hempen or silk? You can take your choice based on how much you want to spend.

LAURA: Hempen.

MATT: Hempen is more expensive, but it's heavier.

TRAVIS: We should get 150 feet of rope. Three 50-foot sections.

LAURA: How heavy is it?

MATT: I'll look it up here shortly. We can do more of the purchasing here while we take our break.

ALL: Yeah!

MATT: But for now, you gather the necessary supplies. We'll decide over break. You all reconvene, collect your horses. Looking out over the dense jungle canopy ahead, you hear the welcome musical cacophony of the various jungle birds all collecting their music and sounds to the air. The moisture of the underbrush and the dull, yellowish green glow of the sunlight that peeks through the vines and leaves. You move past the groups of individuals that live here amongst the Steps of Jrusar, the base of the jungle, the base of the spires. Follow the trails beyond civilization and begin your trek into the unknown beyond. And that's where we're going to take a break.

SAM: It's a good spot.

LIAM: Oh, I've been wanting to explore for so long!

MARISHA: To the Heartmoor!

TRAVIS: We're out.

LIAM: So excited!

TRAVIS: ♪ On the road again ♪

MATT: Yep.

ASHLEY: Here we go!

MATT: We are out of the city, guys. We'll see where that takes us now. Be back here in a few minutes, so go take a break, go pee. If you're in a theater, go get snacks, I don't know. But yeah, be back here shortly. We'll see you soon.

LIAM: Go get your caramel sharts. (laughter)

MATT: (laughs) Oh god.

Break
(light music)

GRIFFON: I'm Griffon. I'm the creator of the "Griffon's Saddlebag." I write, design and illustrate magic items for Fifth Edition and I've been posting them online every weekday for three years. Two years ago, we helped bring the first Saddlebag book to life And now it's time for second. This next book in the "Griffon's Saddlebag" series includes over 500 illustrated magic items, two playable races, 12 sub classes, and 14 ready to play settings, all in an over 400 page compendium. These game ready magic items have been categorized into easy to use item indexes and random treasure tables and have been reviewed and play tested by thousands of players and game masters around the world. So you can rest easy knowing that these items won't offset the delicate balance of your game. So if you've ever struggled, trying to find that one magic item to reward or incentivize your players with, this may be the book for you. And if you enjoyed book one, you're gonna love what book two has to offer. Beyond the wealth of new treasure and character options, game masters and players alike can look forward to a host of new cities, monsters, mini games and unique conflicts that are detailed in the books over a dozen new settings. So whether your party is just starting out or looking for something to do between saving the world again, this book will offer you plenty of adventuring options that you can integrate into whatever campaign or world you're already playing in. I am so excited to bring this collection to your table and there's so much more in store for you with add-ons, bonuses and stretch goals. So, with your support, let's bring book two to life and continue making the world's greatest role playing game, even greater together.

LAURA: (humming) Another sketchbook done. One for every year of Critical Role. Wait. (gasps) It's Critical Role's seven-year anniversary. Hey, Jester! Yes? Come on. Did you know that it's Critical Role's seven-year anniversary? We have to wish everyone happy anniversary. I know. Okay, so first of all, I want to send a message to the Traveler. Will you help me count? Yeah. Okay. Hi, Traveler. It's Jester, your favorite. I am just messaging you to let you know that today is a super important day and we need to tell everyone about it, okay? Because it's going to be-- Jester, Jester, I think you went way over. Dick nuggets. That's okay. I'll just use another spell slot. Yeah. Okay. (clears throat) Okay. Hi, Traveler, sorry about that. It's me, Jester, still. I got cut off earlier. Anyway, I was telling you that today is a super important day, right? Because we need to tell everyone about it-- Jester, Jester, you went too far. Shit balls. It's fine. I will use another spell slot. It's fine. Okay. Let's go. Yeah. Traveler, why does this spell only have 25 words? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Anyway, it's still me, Jester. Okay. I probably don't need to keep-- Fuck! I only have one spell slot left. You can do it, I believe in you. I can do it. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. You're so wonderful. (chuckles) Okay. Get ready. Here we go. Ready. Traveler, it is Critical Role's seven-year anniversary and we need to tell everyone and throw a really big party because it's a big deal. You did it! I did it! Oh my gosh, I did it! Okay, well, I don't have any more spell slots for Sending, so, maybe we tell everyone else in person? Yeah, let's go. Okay.

THE TRAVELER: Jester, so good to hear from you. Sorry, I've been so busy today. What was it that you needed? Jester?

LAURA: Hey Critters, Laura Bailey here to guide you through what's new in the Critical Role Shop. The cuteness, it's overpowering. Role an investigation if you want. It's basically perfect. Hey, look at these. They go on your face. Go ahead, darling. Treat yourself. I mean, the Traveler always says impulse purchases are a good decision. And hey, if you want, you can head over to the Critical Role Shop right now.

(light music) (typewriter clicking)

Part II
MATT: And welcome back. So... (laughter) As you all set forth from the central city of Jrusar--

MARISHA: Wow, here we go.

MATT: -- heading toward the Hollowed Trails, the surrounding jungles of the Oderan Wilds. (exclaiming) (horse walking)

LAURA: Greenery!

SAM: New things!

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

LIAM: There's plants outside the window.

MARISHA: Yes, I was waiting for this.

MATT: The decor of the set worked out perfectly for this weirdly, but you have, depending on the speed of travel and what you encounter along the way, three to four day to travel on horseback along the Honored Trails. (wildlife chirping and buzzing)

ASHLEY: Listen.

LAURA: (gasps) (wildlife chirping and buzzing)

MATT: (chuckles)

TRAVIS: It's pretty great.

ASHLEY: I just got a little bit teary eyed in my face.

TRAVIS: "In my face."

ASHLEY: Okay, sorry, sorry.

LIAM: That good because if it were somewhere else, it would've been pee.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: Yeah, when we're out, I just want to hop off my horse and walk 50 feet away from everyone.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: And just... (deep inhale and exhale) Breathe.

MATT: It is welcoming, especially this far from the Smolder Spire where the occasional scent of the exhaust and soot catches you. Out here, it is clean, earthy, damp but cool, and filled with insects. (laughs)

LAURA: That's fine. It's silent is what it is.

ASHLEY: I start flicking my ears like a horse.

SAM: Oh yeah.

LAURA: Oh, I got instantly itchy just thinking about it.

MARISHA: Thinking about it?

MATT: Yay, that's called immersion. You're riding in the back of the chariot cart, correct?

SAM: I mean, I would prefer to fasten myself as a pulled wagon behind a horse.

MATT: You did buy extra rope. That can be done.

LIAM: What if you were a wheel on the chariot?

SAM: Yeah, how? Wait, this chariot is a two-wheeled thing or a four-wheeled wagon? What did we get?

LAURA: It's a two wheeled.

TRAVIS: Oh, it's a two?

LAURA: It's a two-wheeler.

SAM: It's a two-wheel?

TRAVIS: Yep.

MARISHA: Just go horse skiing.

LIAM: So if you hold onto the back, it could be a trike.

ASHLEY: We have horses!

SAM: I just want to be pulled for a bit.

MATT: Let me pull out my minis.

MARISHA: Like a reverse plow.

SAM: Yeah, feel like I'm water skiing.

MARISHA: Yeah, exactly.

ASHLEY: I don't think I've ever ridden a horse before.

LAURA: You've never ridden a horse?

ASHLEY: No.

LAURA: Oh! It's simple. (laughter) It's simple.

ASHLEY: Okay.

SAM: Yikes.

TALIESIN: I've been trying to imagine exactly what the auton-- anatomy-- autonomy-- the anatomy put together there.

MATT: It's odd.

MARISHA: (laughs) "It's odd."

MATT: I want to say, for the purposes of this, that the horse that you chose, you chose because it has a somewhat similar fur tone to what you have. So there's a hopeful connection there.

ASHLEY: Oh, hello, sir. (horse snort)

MATT: Yeah. (horse snort)

LAURA: We got a brown one with a blonde mane. That one could work real well.

ASHLEY: Okay, great. Do you think it can hold me?

LAURA: And we also got a chestnut. Which one's closer to your fur color.

LIAM: Yeah, who's on what?

ASHLEY: I don't mind. I'll ride whatever.

TALIESIN: I know.

MARISHA: I've got to be on the most goth looking horse.

MATT: There is a black chosen horse with one marking on it to offset the straight black coloration.

LAURA: Oh yeah, that's perfect.

LIAM: Is one of them a pony?

MATT: No, I'm sorry.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: I just figured all the tiny tots could be on one, you know?

LAURA: Yeah, I thought you and Chet could ride together.

TRAVIS: Like a paint chestnut.

LIAM: Sure, you want to steer, and I'll ride on the back?

TRAVIS: Yeah, either way.

MATT: There is an available cart and you are riding as a secondary cart. So that--

SAM: I'll water ski behind Imogen's horse, if that's all right with her.

LAURA: Oh, great, yeah, that's wonderful.

MATT: So if that's the case, each of you can take one horse independently.

LIAM: Oh cool.

SAM: Actually, I'll do it behind Ashton, because I feel like you're going to want to equestrian.

LAURA: Don't you want a better ride?

SAM: I know, but aren't you going to want to ride free and jump over things?

LAURA: That'll be fun for you.

SAM: Okay. (laughter)

TALIESIN: I was wondering what the problem was going to be, but that sounded really good.

MATT: Jungle ski over the different pathways.

LIAM: So run through it again. The colors of the horses are what again, character creator?

MATT: Need the important aspects.

LIAM: Absolutely.

LAURA: We have a brown and white painted, a tawny, a chestnut, a black one with a white leg.

LIAM: Yours.

LAURA: And a brown one with a blonde mane.

MATT: Fearne, which one have you taken?

ASHLEY: I'll take whatever one. Whatever's biggest to hold me.

LAURA: The chestnut, probably.

ASHLEY: The chestnut, I'm taking the chestnut.

MATT: So with Fearne on the horse, which takes you a moment to find a comfortable sitting position, the coloration is close enough to where it looks like the upper half of a person and then a mutant horse with two additional legs hanging off the side. It takes a minute for you to focus and be like, oh, no, that's Fearne on top.

TALIESIN: A shitty Halloween costume where--

MATT: Exactly, yeah. (laughter)

MARISHA: The inflatable ones.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

LAURA: We got three inflatable dragons that we could ride with Ronin.

MATT: Oh my god, that's so cute.

LIAM: That just flashes me back to Campaign 2. Anytime we cast Polymorph, it was just us in an inflatable T-rex.

LAURA: (laughs) Yes.

MATT: (laughing) Yep. (awkward walking)

MATT: Well, for this three to four day journey, are you going to be traveling max speed, regular speed, stealthy speed, as stealthy as you can be on horse back? What is your preference here?

LAURA: I think a good--

LIAM: Well, not the slowest speed, because we were on a schedule here. We have to get there before before we miss out.

LAURA: We go fast until the road gets a little questionable, and then we'll slow it down.

MATT: Okay, understood, all right.

LAURA: Eshteross did say to stick to the Honored Trails.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: He kept going on about it. He was like, "Oh, bad shit in the woods. Really stick to the trail." Yeah, I lost interest, honestly.

LAURA: Yeah, and I certainly don't want to run the horses too hard. You know what I mean?

MATT: Well, even they can only maintain maximum speed for an hour at most, and then they have to back it off a bit.

LAURA: Back it off.

MATT: But yeah, and considering that sort of pace, we'll roll for the first day's journey northward through the Oderan Wilds. I would like somebody to roll a d20 for me, please.

TALIESIN: Start over here. We'll make our way down. Big money, no whammies. Natural 20.

LAURA: Woo!

MARISHA: Oh my god.

TALIESIN: That means we fight a dragon.

MATT: It means you roll a d6 for me, please.

TALIESIN: Yep.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

LAURA: Oh shit.

TALIESIN: Let's roll the everything-is-wrong die. One. (laughter)

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Oh my god, my stomach's mixed up.

TRAVIS: Might as well just do it.

LAURA: Is there a dragon?

LIAM: Gelidon finds us again.

TALIESIN: Mauve? They make mauve dragons? What the fuck. (laughter)

MATT: So.

TALIESIN: Oh no.

LIAM: M'ello. (laughter)

MATT: We'll say--

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: -- about four hours into your--

TRAVIS: Sam, can't draw for shit.

LAURA: He's drawing a shitty horse.

SAM: I'm drawing Fearne on a horse.

TRAVIS: That is not a horse or Fearne.

ASHLEY: What is happening?

TRAVIS: That is not a horse. That is a mythical beast.

LAURA: Sam doesn't know how animals work.

ASHLEY: Why do my knees have to go backwards?

TALIESIN: If you make a note in class, you got to show everybody.

LIAM: Everybody watching needs to see.

LAURA: Can we let everyone know that before the game, Sam was talking about Fearne and didn't realize she wore clothes. He's been picturing her naked.

SAM: I thought she was, not naked, just furry.

ASHLEY: Also, because you just didn't look at the art? (laughter)

TRAVIS: We'll throw that in the top-down.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

TRAVIS: Right about here.

MARISHA: Here, put it on the CR.

TRAVIS: It's pretty awful.

MARISHA: There you go.

TRAVIS: It's pretty terrible.

TALIESIN: Wow.

LIAM: Sam has also asked if Fearne's knees bend backward or forward.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

SAM: I don't know how anatomy works.

TRAVIS: Also, this is not a script. It's just ad copy. (laughter)

SAM: Cut the feed, cut the feed.

LIAM: The script's on the monitors, guys.

TRAVIS: In our contacts.

MATT: Yeah, exactly.

TALIESIN: We're going to laugh this entire episode.

MATT: The rough four or so hours into your journey of this first day of travel along the northward winding Honored Trail, along the northward winding Honored Trail, the path is a combination of occasional rough-packed gravel and well-pressed dirt into a tan and medium brown walkway into a tan and medium brown walkway that is relatively easy for your horses to maintain and traverse. There's no rails and the path does occasionally widen or thin along the way, but you can see there is all manner of travel to and from, and it doesn't take long for you to pass by a miniature caravan of three carts all being pulled traveled to the side, and you have to widely step over as they pass (clops) continuing on. Orym, Fearne, Laudna, and Fresh Cut Grass, as you're all continuing forward, you hear this rapid rustling to the right-hand side of the road. It's like (rustling). Jumping immediately out of the brush from the right to the left, for a split second, you almost see time slow as this large dog-sized, like a timber rabbit, leaps out of the brush, probably about four feet from end to end. You can see where the ears are. They're long and dragging behind the head about an additional two feet, has this heavy mane of wild, matted, light brown fur around its face, and in its jaw, something that glimmers this odd pinkish coloration, as it darts off into the jungle out to the left hand side.

SAM: Whoa.

LIAM: Disappears from view?

MATT: Unless you do anything, yeah.

SAM: What was that?

ASHLEY: What color was its fur?

MATT: Like a medium light brown.

LIAM: That was a giant rabbit.

TALIESIN: What was chasing it?

LAURA: What was in its mouth?

SAM: It had something in its mouth?

LIAM: Yeah, it had some sort of pink glow to it.

MARISHA: People said that the animals around here mutate and get weird.

ASHLEY: Hey, hey, hey, hey!

SAM: Oh.

MATT: It's in the jungle.

SAM: Orym, you want to chase after it off the Honored Path?

LIAM: Is that what we're doing? We're chasing animals that run past us?

SAM: I don't know, it seemed interesting.

LAURA: That seems like just--

LIAM: (quick sound)

TALIESIN: Oh, for fuck-- (laughter)

LIAM: Leaps off, he was surfing on top of his gigantic horse or his regular horse.

LAURA: He was just surfing.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah, we were doing where you got to stand up behind the shoulder haunches.

LAURA: Oh, I see.

TRAVIS: Teen Wolf, Surfin' USA.

LIAM: When I saw the rabbit, I was like.

TRAVIS: A number two.

LIAM: I'm not going to go far. I'm going to run 30 feet into the bush to see if I can catch another glimpse of this creature I've never seen before in my life.

MATT: Okay. You dart 30 feet into the jungle, dodging through. Make a stealth check for me as you do so.

LAURA: You're so stealthy.

LIAM: No, I'm not, oh, it's a one. I get to reroll it.

LAURA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Can I try to do a rabbit call?

LIAM: 15.

MATT: Sure, make a--

LIAM: Only if you do it for us.

ASHLEY: Sure.

MATT: Okay. (laughs) Go ahead and roll, I'll say an animal handling check on this one.

ASHLEY: Ooh, 11.

MATT: What does it sound like?

ASHLEY: (knocking mouth sounds) (oohing)

ASHLEY: (wet mouth sounds) (laughter)

TRAVIS: That was good, though.

MATT: What was your follow up?

LIAM: 15.

MATT: 15, okay. As you're making this call out into the the open jungle around you, you dart into the brush, and you can see it leap, stop a little ways ahead, hears something odd in the sound of the direction of the rest of your crew, that strange clicking sound, and it listens for a second, wiggles its nose. You can see that strange pink object in its mouth still.

LIAM: Can I see what that is?

MATT: Make a perception check for me.

ASHLEY: Drop it!

LIAM: Natural 20.

LAURA: (gasps)

LIAM: And a 19.

LAURA: Ooh.

MATT: Damn.

LIAM: Okay, for a total of 25.

MATT: It is a smoothly polished stone about that big that it's holding in its mouth like a toy, and it looks back, and you can see, now that you have a better look at its face, too, the front teeth are very long and curved backward, and resting behind the teeth, the tongue is pressing against it, and that's how it holds it in its mouth. Also, in the front of its head, the skull comes to this odd curved horn, hooks back about six or seven inches or so, before the rest of the fur mane collects around its base, and it looks back (snuffling).

TALIESIN: A bunny-corn?

MATT: And begins darting off in further west.

MARISHA: Bunny-corn.

LIAM: I'm going to chase it. I'm going to chase it, and as I run, I'm going to grow some lettuce leaf in my hand and try to catch up.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: I'm not going to run off a mile into the--

TRAVIS: No, no, you're good.

LIAM: You'll never see me again.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: We haven't stopped, right?

MATT: You're now giving chase. What is your movement speed?

LIAM: 30.

MATT: 30, all right. So you spend the action to create this head of lettuce in your hand and begin running after it. This creature is currently in double dash mode. So it is getting away at the moment, but as part of this chase, I want you to roll another stealth check for me to see if you make the noise necessary.

LIAM: 14.

MATT: 14? Okay, you create this and you begin darting forward, jumping off the side of a tree, leaping down under a bush, and as you peek up, your feet land, and your foot skids for a second, and you catch, and the rock tumbles, and the creature looks back in your direction.

LIAM: Hold out the lettuce. (sighs)

MATT: Unfortunately, it spooked a little bit, and it seems like it's getting further away. Do you want to continue to pursue?

SAM: Yes.

LAURA: The pink rock, what is the pink rock?

SAM: Come on, get that fucking rock.

TRAVIS: Feed that timber bunny.

LIAM: One more time, I run.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Yep.

MATT: So you can go into a full run behind it now?

LIAM: Yeah, mm-hmm, full tilt.

MATT: Okay, okay.

TRAVIS: All the confidence of a Las Vegas gambler.

LIAM: I'll go like this: (chittering)

MATT: You try and mimic the noise?

LIAM: Yeah, yeah, I heard it. I know where it was coming from. It's really bad, but I'll do it anyway.

MATT: Make an animal handling check for me.

LAURA: Come on, come on.

TRAVIS: Let's go, let's go.

LIAM: Ooh, terrible, terrible, terrible, five.

ASHLEY: Oh no!

MATT: So you make the noise. It's more a (farting chitter) (laughter)

MATT: And the creature suddenly leaps up from the middle of the brush, its ears wide up and flopping forward, its eyes suddenly with a look of fear like it heard the sound of a predator than a similar one.

LIAM: I'm holding the lettuce leaves out.

MATT: I know. That animal handling check is not good.

LIAM: Yeah. (laughter)

MATT: It continues to dart. Now it's darting in a northwestern direction. So now it's not going directly away from the group. It's starting to go a little more parallel from them, but it is still getting away. It's starting to get a little smaller in the distance. What do you want to do?

LIAM: I'm going to run, I'm going to run.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: You hear in your head--

MATT: Are you trying to stealth at this time, or are you going at a full sprint?

LIAM: No, I'm just trying to catch up to it.

MATT: Okay, you gathered by how it moves that if you both run full tilt, it will outpace you.

LIAM: Oh, I don't want to hurt it.

LAURA: Kill it, get the stone.

LIAM: No, fuck you.

LAURA: Destroy it.

LIAM: Nope. No, I'll let off.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: If I have to do something like throw a dagger at it to stop it, I'm not going to do that.

MATT: Either take it out, or if you want to attempt to approach it quietly once it calms but still pursue it, that's the other path you could take.

TRAVIS: That's a new mount.

MATT: But--

LAURA: Oh my god.

MATT: But it's a challenge.

LAURA: Why did it have a stone?!

MATT: You're on the precipice now of--

LIAM: I'll stop and listen.

MATT: Okay, you stop and listen.

LIAM: Is it still just (scampering)?

MATT: Make a perception check for me.

LIAM: Okay. That is real good. That's a 24.

MATT: 24. It continues to move away from you at a rapid pace. You hear (rustling), and then it stops.

LIAM: All right, so the last thing I will do, because I'm not going to run two miles off into the Oderan Wilds, is I will take a good 10 minutes to slowly creep away, or creep toward.

MATT: Creep towards it, okay. Roll a stealth check for me. While this is happening, what are the rest of you doing?

TRAVIS: A werewolf comes in and tears its entrails-- no. (laughter)

SAM: Thanks for the distraction.

LAURA: What the fuck was he--

LIAM: 23.

LAURA: Did he just chase after a fucking rabbit?

SAM: Of course.

ASHLEY: I'm going to jump off the horse and start looking for some herbs.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Apparently, we're taking a stop. That's what's happening, okay.

MARISHA: The healing ones.

SAM: The quad leaves with the red spots?

LAURA: Orym.

ASHLEY: Can I get those?

MATT: Go ahead and roll a nature check.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LAURA: Are you okay?

LIAM: Am I close enough for that? I don't know what your range is.

LAURA: You are so close. You are plenty close.

MATT: He's, at this point, from following and pursuing, he's a few hundred feet off the path, just so you know.

LAURA: He's still plenty within range.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Okay.

ASHLEY: Seven.

MATT: You gather some plants, you're like, "Oh, these are herbs," and you pull them together and start looking at them and realize, or they're just weeds. But they're green.

LAURA: Oh yeah, what was the thing that she said?

SAM: The quad leaf with the red spots.

LAURA: Quad leaf with the red spots.

ASHLEY: I was looking for some things. I have some ideas.

SAM: Oh?

ASHLEY: To help maybe access your dreams.

LAURA: What?

ASHLEY: To help maybe feel like a lucid dream; you can get in and sort of--

LAURA: Control it?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: I would love to control it.

ASHLEY: Okay. Well, I'll keep looking, I'll keep looking. There's some things that you can either smoke or have as a tea to help.

LAURA: All right.

ASHLEY: We can make you a nice tea.

LAURA: Okay.

ASHLEY: We'll see, we'll see. I'll keep looking.

MATT: Okay. While this is happening, you do begin to creep up quietly in the direction where you heard the sound over the next few minutes. Keeping low, pushing past different low hanging vines and bushy ferns and-- different kinds of ferns, until eventually you see, low to the ground, the strange polished gem on the ground in front of it. You see the bunny creature smelling it, looking around, its ears up a little bit, the flopping down by its shoulders.

LIAM: I Druidcraft the saddest tiniest little carrot.

MATT: It doesn't see you yet.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: He goes and stoops down to pick up the gem in its mouth, quietly. Looks like it's beginning to prepare itself to continue its path away. What do you do?

LIAM: I drop the carrot and sprint and I'm going to try to grab the stone.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Trying to be faster than a rabbit!

MATT: You are just darting for it.

LIAM: Yes. Now, I drop stealth and just book it.

MATT: Okay. I will say; roll a d20, add your initiative modifier.

LIAM: I get advantage on initiative rolls. Can I add that?

MATT: Yeah, for this instance.

TALIESIN: Thank god.

LAURA: Oh god. Yeah.

LIAM: 19.

MATT: 19. It got a 16. So you do manage to go first. So you dart outward, it turns to see you, and for a second, you see its feet grinding into the dirt as it's trying to escape, but it can't quite catch enough friction yet, and as it's beginning to put its hands down to pick up a moment to burst out with all of its strength, you catch up right towards it and you're trying to snatch it from its mouth.

LIAM: Snatch it, yep.

MATT: All right, roll an athletics check to try and pry it from its mouth.

LIAM: Come on.

LAURA: Oh god, come on, come on.

LIAM: Steal from the cute bunny.

LIAM: Why do I have advantage on that? That's the rope, which is gone. The rope. Okay.

LAURA: The rope would've been so useful here.

LIAM: 22.

MATT: 22!

LAURA: Nice!

MATT: It rolled a 20 altogether.

ALL: Oh!

LAURA: Oh, nice!

MATT: You're a lucky motherfucker. So you reach out, you grab behind its mouth and you can feel the hot breath and the moisture in its jaw, and as you grab around the stone, it tears away, and for a second you're afraid that it's going bite down and take your finger off. Up close to this creature-- It looks cute from a distance, and up close, it looks a little monstrous. at least a little dangerous when skittish in this instance for its size. It is technically bigger than you, by all accounts.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: With that, though, you manage to--

LIAM: Everything is.

MATT: Yep. You manage to twist it and pull it free from its mouth and it bites after your hand, but you pull away. At which point, it pauses for a second, looking at you, its head to the side, and then darts off, a huge leap.

LIAM: I go in the opposite direction. (laughter)

MATT: Perfect.

LIAM: Then I'm walking back through trees and going--

TRAVIS: It's a poop nugget.

TALIESIN: I was really just thinking. It's a poop.

LIAM: Why'd I do that? (laughter)

TRAVIS: Feels good.

LIAM: Now that I have a chance to examine it on my short walk back, what am I looking at here?

MATT: It is smooth and polished on one side and the other side it's--

LAURA: It's a fucking rock.

MATT: What's up?

LIAM and MATT: It's just a rock.

MATT: The other side is rough, like it's broken or broken off something. It just looks pretty. Looks like a piece of colored glass.

LIAM: Cool. I will walk back and break out onto the path and I will find Imogen on her horse and I will go and land on the back of your horse. Just standing--

LAURA: You got to be careful, you could startle the shit out of these things.

LIAM: I'm really light.

LAURA: All right.

LIAM: You like stuff like this.

LAURA: You're not a thing, you're a great girl. Anyway, sure.

MATT: (horse sigh)

LAURA: What is this?

LIAM: I don't know, you guys seem to have a thing for pink rocks.

LAURA: Oh. Does it feel tingly, like it could transform me at any moment in time?

MATT: No, it's a different shade, texture, and consistency. The stone that you found in the lair that you have currently contained in that pouch at your side is more opaque and rough and has a weight and heft to it. This is very light, and looks almost glassy. It has a translucence to it when you look at it at certain angles, the back of it's rough and broken like it was sheared off of something. It's light.

LAURA: I hold it up to the sun is it see through?

MATT: Yeah. It has has a translucent nature to it and light pokes though. As you lift it, you can see the bright pinkish light refraction on her face.

LIAM: What do you think a rabbit wants with that?

LAURA: I don't know, it's beautiful. Maybe he thought it was food or something.

LIAM: These horses don't have names, do they?

ASHLEY: I named mine.

SAM: Oh, what's her name or his name?

LAURA: His name. Yours is a stallion.

ASHLEY: His name is Sir Floppers. I've only had him for an hour and I would die for him.

MATT: (laughs)

SAM: Sir Floppers.

ASHLEY: Sir Floppers.

LIAM: I'm calling mine Rabbit.

ASHLEY: Aw, that's cute.

LAURA: Aw, that's cool.

TRAVIS: Anyone else have names?

LIAM: Land back on my horse.

ASHLEY: What are you going to name your horse, Chetney?

TRAVIS: Loonch.

ASHLEY: Loonch?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: He's foreign, don't worry about it.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: (laughs)

LIAM: It'll pay off in 17 episodes.

MARISHA: This is Escargot.

ASHLEY: That's beautiful.

TALIESIN: That's really good.

SAM: And what about you?

LAURA: Heart.

SAM: Oh, Heart?

ASHLEY and TRAVIS: Aw!

LIAM: Heart, Rabbit, Escargot, Mr. Floppers, and Loonch.

SAM: Sir Floppers.

ASHLEY: Sir Floppers.

LIAM: Sir Floppers, sorry.

LAURA: Did you already use a thing today?

SAM: I did, but I can still take a look at it and see. I don't know. Maybe.

LAURA: I'm going to hand this to you surfing behind me.

SAM: Oh wow, I didn't know any of this.

LIAM: What do you call that thing?

TALIESIN: One Way. It's all it's going to get.

LIAM: Wow.

TRAVIS: One or the other.

MARISHA: That's as far as he's going to get.

ASHLEY: (laughs)

LIAM: Knowing our track record.

MATT: Yeah, yeah.

TALIESIN: I don't like to get attached to things that are clearly going to die. Like all of you.

SAM: Can I look at this thing and see if I know what it is?

MATT: Make an arcana check, if you'd like.

SAM: It says I have an advantage on arcana checks made to reveal information about a creature or object you can see.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: So if it were magical.

SAM: Okay. Four. Four. (laughter) Nope.

MATT: You have no idea.

SAM: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Can I take a look at that? That thing?

LAURA: Oh yeah.

SAM: Oh yeah, you got sort of rocks in you. Yeah, is it the same?

MARISHA: Does it make a noise?

ASHLEY: Yeah, what do you hear?

LAURA: What was yours name?

LIAM: Rabbit.

MARISHA: Can you hear the ocean?

MATT: Tastes like rabbit saliva.

SAM: Ew.

TALIESIN: Would I know? I would know what that tastes like. Tastes like rabbit saliva.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Oh.

MARISHA: Why do you keep licking it?

TALIESIN: I don't know.

MARISHA: Can I taste it?

TALIESIN: Yes.

MARISHA: Oh, it's good.

SAM: We'll figure it out.

LAURA: We only have five horses. How do we have six names? (laughter)

TALIESIN: Where did it come from? Oh no!

MATT: Roll initiative.

SAM: You know why? Because--

MATT: The mysterious sixth horse.

SAM: Chetney and Orym are sharing a horse, but they both gave it a name.

LIAM: I thought we said there were enough for everybody. Someone said the sentence, "We have enough horses for everybody."

MATT: You have enough horses for five of you, and you have one person who is riding in the cart, and one person who is riding on the back. But if you guys are sharing it then--

LIAM: If you take Rabbit from me, I'll kill you.

ASHLEY: Well, you can call him Loonch-Rabbit or Rabbit-Loonch.

MARISHA: Yeah, just combine the names.

ASHLEY: Just combine the names.

TRAVIS: If you've never had rabbit for loonch, you're missing out. (laughter)

MARISHA: Rabbit-Loonch. That's canon.

TALIESIN: I'll take Loonch, I feel like it still conveys the same thing.

SAM: So yours is named Loonch?

TALIESIN: Yeah, it's ours now.

MATT: The One Way Loonch.

MARISHA: The One Way Loonch. (laughter)

SAM: All right.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Shall we continue?

MATT: And you do. A relatively uneventful rest of the day. You did get a later start, that wasn't a first thing in the morning exit from the city, you had to gather your things and procure your mounts and everything, so you left probably a little after noon. So you're looking at about an additional two more hours of travel before eventually it gets darker and darker, and you find yourselves now traveling through a darkened jungle.

LAURA: We should start looking for a clearing off the road that we can camp.

MARISHA: I love walking in the forest at night.

LAURA: Oh yeah. I always loved it when you would stand at the side of the road and just stare.

SAM: Oh god!

MARISHA: Just see it people piss their pants. So good.

ASHLEY: How fun.

TRAVIS: Could I give the air a sniff and see what might be near?

MATT: You can. Make a perception check, please.

TRAVIS: Five. (laughter)

TRAVIS: That's a really bad roll. Advantage. Keen awareness of the forest. Oh! And advantage. Five.

MATT: That-- It's hard to pick up much beyond the natural earthy scent that the jungle carries around you. You do catch the moisture getting thicker. As the temperature begins to shift to a colder night here in the jungle, you begin to notice a low mist beginning to roll in. You've seen this mist from a distance. Some of you have come across this before when you traveled to Jrusar using the Honored Trails, depending on where you came from, which would've been you two. You two there, you and you. You as well, actually, may have seen this as well, but it is not uncommon for most nights here in the Wilds to have some level of mist or fog obscure a lot of the lower floor on the jungle. Sometimes it's strong enough that it begins to completely encompass what is visible. Tonight, it looks like it's not that strong. At the moment, at least.

MARISHA: Do we remember anything odd or supernatural to the mist?

MATT: No. It's more of a natural occurrence. Based on the weather and the patterns of temperature, and moisture in the air, it can be heavy or not.

LIAM: Are we in the dark now, or not yet?

MATT: I'll say you are about 20 minutes after sunset, which means the orange and reddish glows are giving away to the purples and blues. You have maybe about 10 minutes before it gets pretty dark out here beyond just the light you carry on yourselves.

MARISHA: Sun sets faster in the forest.

TALIESIN: I am not the person to find where we're going to camp. That is not in my skillset. Does anybody know what looks good out here? Because this all looks like shit to me.

LAURA: We were on the road for a while so we can--

MARISHA: We can find a good spot. I'm pretty sure my survival--

LAURA: Yeah, mine's decent.

LIAM: Use your-- How's your nature check, Fearne?

ASHLEY: I mean, I can absolutely find us a great spot.

MATT: Okay. Whoever's helming this, if you could go make--

MARISHA: I'll give Imogen advantage.

MATT: Either two of you are rolling separately or one person's rolling with advantage. Your choice.

ASHLEY: I don't think I should do it.

MARISHA: Give Imogen advantage.

MATT: All right, make a survival check with advantage, please.

LAURA: 20.

MARISHA: Hell yeah.

MATT: Doesn't take you too terribly long to find about, There is a small portion of the jungle floor that recedes about five or so feet that would allow you to set up an encampment that would not be visible immediately from the road. So if anybody were to be traveling at night, the nearby treeline and the jungle floor would likely obscure anything the fog did not.

LAURA: All right.

MARISHA: Good find.

LAURA: Yes.

TALIESIN: Excellent. Tie the horses up.

LAURA: Yeah. Lead them down.

MATT: Okay. You all head over there and begin to build a fire and set up for a night's camp, gather your bed rolls, and prepare for rest. Is anyone keeping watch?

LAURA: Yeah, we should definitely do that.

TRAVIS: I'll go first. Yeah. What's the moon look like?

MATT: Make a perception check.

LIAM: Yeah, can we see the moon? Does this mist affect seeing the sky at all?

MATT: The mist tonight is not so strong. So you can look up and you can see there's a little bit of obfuscation, but you can still see the night sky, though the stars are a little hard to make out.

TRAVIS: 20.

MATT: From where you can see through the canopy, Catha is up, though it looks like it's partially waning, leaning into a thick crescent, if you will. Ruidus is a little ways across the sky from Catha, still making its way towards its zenith.

LAURA: ♪ Makin' its way! ♪

MATT: Probably in a few weeks or months.

LIAM: ♪ Wanin' its way ♪

MARISHA: "Wanin' its way."

MATT: That's about it.

LAURA: The little box that had the diamond in it.

MATT: Yes?

LAURA: Would that fit the purple stone?

MARISHA: Queen shit.

MATT: Yeah. You can fit that together.

LAURA: I'm going to do that.

MARISHA: Great call.

MATT: You got it. All right, so we'll say three shifts for watch. First shift is you.

LIAM: I'll take a second.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: I'll join for a second.

MATT: The first shift, roll perception.

LAURA: I'll stay up with you, Chet. I don't want to sleep just yet.

TRAVIS: You want to roll with me on perception?

LAURA: Sure, sure.

TRAVIS: Or is that a bad idea?

LAURA: No, I'll give you advantage.

TRAVIS: Okay. Four.

LAURA: Oh no. (laughter)

TRAVIS: I rolled one and a three.

LIAM: Wow.

MARISHA: Oh no.

LAURA: Just for shits, I'm going to see what I would've gotten. I rolled a one, so that's good that I didn't participate.

MATT: The two of you take your shift for the night. Confident in your ability to keep this encampment safe.

TRAVIS: No problem.

MATT: About three hours into your shift, nothing happens.

LAURA: Tight.

MATT: You finish your shift without issue. You're taking second shift? Roll a perception check for me, both of you.

LIAM: 18 For me.

TALIESIN: 15 for me.

MATT: Okay. You both watch like a hawk and you do see shapes up in the trees, shadows shifting. Smaller creatures that are nocturnal and hunting. But nothing that seems to be specifically of interest to you or finding interest in you. The occasional flying predators, their shadows moving over the exposed night sky. Your watch comes to a close without issue.

LIAM: I also spend part of it Druidcrafting yellow flowers and tucking them into little seams in FCG's structure while I watch the night.

TALIESIN: Is that that some kind of Ashari shit you're doing there?

LIAM: That is some Ashari shit.

TALIESIN: Fuck. It's pretty cool.

LIAM: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Ashari shit.

LIAM: Yeah. Smiley day.

MATT: Who's taking the third and final watch?

SAM: I'll take that.

ASHLEY: All right.

SAM: We can both.

MATT: The two of you roll perception checks, please.

SAM: I'm going to cast Light. My eyes shine like two flashlights and I will have my head slowly twist around 360 like a lighthouse. Just going around and around.

MATT: Perfect.

SAM: 12.

ASHLEY: 23.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Are you getting bit?

SAM: No, no, no. Someone put these flowers on me. Or maybe they grew on me! (gasps) Is the jungle reclaiming me?

ASHLEY: What if it is? Maybe you are alive. Maybe you're a tree. (laughter)

ASHLEY: That doesn't make any sense.

SAM: No. (laughter)

MARISHA: Such a conclusion to jump to.

SAM: Do we see anything?

MATT: No. You feel pretty confident that this particular place that you found kept you pretty tucked and safe for the night.

ASHLEY: We're very safe here.

SAM: We are.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

SAM: What time do you reckon it is? If it's 3:00am, does that mean you get frisky?

ASHLEY: Maybe. I think it's past 3:00am, though. I think we have the morning, almost the morning shift.

SAM: Mm-hmm.

ASHLEY: Mm-hmm.

SAM: Are you okay, by the way? Just missing your parents like you do?

ASHLEY: Yeah. I mean, it's been a very long time since I've seen them and I think I've lived more of my life without them than I have with them, but I sure would like to know if they're okay.

SAM: Aren't you worried that if they send you another postcard, you won't be home to get it, or is someone at home to forward it to you?

ASHLEY: Well, my grandmother is home and if they send it, then she'll keep them there for me when I come home. So I'm sure I will have so much mail by the time I get home.

SAM: For sure. Yeah.

ASHLEY: Because we've been gone for a while.

SAM: Oh.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

SAM: I hope you find them.

ASHLEY: Me too.

SAM: What were their names?

ASHLEY: Oh, Ollie, which is funny, and-- Shit, I forgot my mother's name. (laughs)

SAM: Oh, that's fine. It's late.

ASHLEY: It's late. I'll remember in just a second.

SAM: What was your mother's name? (laughter)

ASHLEY: I should remember this offhand, it's just been so long since I've seen her.

SAM: You can check your notes and get back to me. (laughter)

LAURA: You can just make up anything. (laughs)

ASHLEY: I know I could, but--

SAM: She actually has one for this one.

ASHLEY: It's been a minute since I've actually thought about them.

SAM: Was it Whitestone Andy? (laughter)

SAM: A really well thought out-- (laughter)

SAM: -- name?

LIAM: It's Keyser Söze.

ASHLEY: Oh god. (laughter)

SAM: It's fine. We'll say that you answered--

ASHLEY: Oh! Oh, god, how could I forget? My momma's name is Birdie and my daddy's name is Oleander.

LIAM: Oleander and Birdie?

SAM: Birdie and Oleander?

ASHLEY: Mm-hmm.

SAM: Aw.

TALIESIN: Sounds like a musical.

ASHLEY and LAURA: It does.

ASHLEY: My grandmother's name is Morri. Short for Morrigan.

LIAM: Ooh. (chuckling)

SAM: Amazing. Well, good night!

ASHLEY: Good night. (laughter)

MATT: Eventually the cold morning misty air shifts to a warmer sunrise. The insects begin to accrue. The noise shifts once more, and you all come to consciousness for your second day of travel. You gather up your horses.

LAURA: We wake up and I have a death grip on Laudna's hand. (laughter)

MARISHA: Any dreams?

LAURA: Nope.

MARISHA: Next time.

LAURA: Next time.

MARISHA: All right.

MATT: Okay. Stepping back onto your horses, leaping onto their backs and preparing them for the journey.

TALIESIN: Do you have time to really take a look at this weird piece of glass?

SAM: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! I sure do!

TALIESIN: Just really take a look at this thing.

SAM: I sure will. I look at it and cast Identify.

MATT: You do.

LIAM: Identify.

TALIESIN: Identify!

SAM: The text is flying through my memory banks like the Terminator.

TRAVIS: Yes. (laughter)

MATT: It is a Feywild Shard.

SAM: Like that gnarl thing?

MATT: Ironically, similar origins, but very different material.

TALIESIN: Nothing but shards. All the way down.

LIAM: Yeah, this is a peppermint one.

SAM: A Feywild Shard?

MATT: Correct.

SAM: Like a piece of essential fey rock?

MATT: You glance at it, and now that you can guess its attention, you look at it and it has this odd shifting of coloration on the inside, like the pinkish coloration shifts to orange, like the golden hour of a sunset.

MARISHA: Cool.

MATT: It is very small, and you can attach it to a small object if you like, but you have to attune to it.

SAM: (gasps) It's an attunable item.

MATT: Can be used as a spellcasting focus, but it needs to be attuned by a sorcerer.

SAM: Maybe I am one. I'm not.

ASHLEY: What if you are? What if you are and you just don't know?

SAM: I don't know, maybe, but we don't know a sorcerer, do we?

LAURA: I'm a sorcerer.

SAM: You're a sorcerer? Wait, do you have fur all over your body? (laughter)

LAURA: Am I naked? (laughter)

SAM: You're a sorcerer?

LAURA: I'm a sorcerer.

SAM: Oh, I thought you're something homebrewed.

LAURA: I mean, Laudna's a sorcerer, too.

SAM: Ah, what?!

MARISHA: Mm-hmm!

ASHLEY: We have two sorcerers with us.

TRAVIS: We've been playing this game for a little bit. (laughter)

SAM: Who are you?! (laughter)

LIAM: I kind of chased it down for you.

LAURA: You did?

MARISHA: Happy seven year anniversary.

LIAM: You wear it well.

TALIESIN: Hmm.

LAURA: Thank you.

MARISHA: I'm curious what happens if you connect to it.

LAURA: I don't know. Where should I put it? I want to wear it.

TRAVIS: You should touch it to the other one.

LIAM: Touch sharts?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I kind of agree, but I do want to see what would happen--

LAURA: What if it ruins it? That other rock changes things.

TALIESIN: It could eat it. That's true.

LAURA: I'm going to--

SAM: Do you need a spellcasting focus?

LAURA: I don't have one.

SAM: Oh, well then, yeah, for sure.

LAURA: Ooh, I want to put it in my hair.

SAM: Ooh, you can make it--

MARISHA: Like a hairpiece.

LAURA: Ooh, a little clip, yeah.

MATT: You can do that, if you'd like, wear it like a piece of jewelry.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay. You attune to it?

LIAM: Can you whittle barrettes?

LAURA: Sure.

MATT: In the morning rest, all right. So essentially, you can add the Feywild Shard to your character sheet, it's in D&D Beyond. Once a day, when you use Metamagic, you can choose to also roll on the Wild Magic table. (gasping)

TALIESIN: What!

LIAM: Metamagic.

MARISHA: You can choose to?

TALIESIN: Chaos!

LIAM: You can choose chaos.

TALIESIN: Chaos! That's a d100.

LAURA: I can choose chaos?

MATT: Yeah, you can decide to just, this is the time, casting the spell, let's roll on the table and see what happens.

TALIESIN: It's like graduating from the Deck of Many Things to the Deck of Everything. It's really great.

MARISHA: Oh shit.

TALIESIN: It can ruin--

TRAVIS: Even more options.

TALIESIN: It can ruin your life.

MATT: It's not as bad as older editions.

TALIESIN: No.

MATT: It's mostly just silly.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I know it's mostly silly. Every now and then, though, it's perfect.

LIAM: Sheep. Everyone turns into sheep.

MATT: And also, if the result on the table of the Wild Magic table is a spell and it requires concentration, it does not require concentration in this casting and instead just lasts for the duration of the spell.

MARISHA: Whoa!

LAURA: Ooh!

MATT: So on the occasional chance that Metamagic does cause a spell, or the wild magic causes a spell, then that spell doesn't need concentration. It stays for the duration.

LAURA: Okay, cool.

MATT: So it's a weird little unreliable fun effect that you can decide to engage in.

LIAM: Wibbly-wobbly fey goodness.

TALIESIN: It's fancy!

ASHLEY: That looks beautiful!

LAURA: Thank you. Thank you, Orym.

TALIESIN: It's really working.

LIAM: Well, I don't know how to use anything like that.

TALIESIN: Shit.

MARISHA: What would've happened to that bunny had he just ate it?

TALIESIN: Shit just filled with rocks.

LIAM: Shat out some fey magic.

MARISHA: Does the bunny roll on the table and see what happens?

TALIESIN: Shat some shards.

LIAM: Just Faerie Fire on attacks.

LAURA: That little creature is a Feywild bunny? Maybe it came over with it.

SAM: What's with all the fey stuff around here?

MARISHA: I know!

LIAM: What the fuck is up with that?

TRAVIS: A doorway or something?

MARISHA: Oh my god! We got distracted! I was trying to ask you about that the other night and then I think I fell asleep. But when you came through, was it like a portal or did you teleport or--

ASHLEY: Yes, it was a gate.

MARISHA: Is the gate just always there?

ASHLEY: Yes.

MARISHA: People can pass through it freely?

ASHLEY: I think so. I'm not-- I've never seen anybody go in and out of it before. I don't think. I mean, I've gone out of it.

MARISHA: You remember going through it?

ASHLEY: Yeah. Yeah. We've been there. Orym's been to the gate before.

MARISHA: Really?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LIAM: You know what? You talk about it because it's where you're from so freely, but it's really another dimension. It's really beyond everyone's ken.

ASHLEY: What does that mean?

LIAM: It's special.

ASHLEY: Oh.

LIAM: You, Fearne, you're special.

ASHLEY: Well, we all come from our own different places. I don't think it's--

LIAM: Yeah...

ASHLEY: I mean, it is very different here, but--

LIAM: Your place is hard for us to reach. Close to impossible.

TRAVIS: I've only ever heard of it.

LIAM: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Have you guys ever been there?

TRAVIS: No.

MARISHA: No, definitely not.

ASHLEY: Anybody?

TALIESIN: I haven't been to a lot of places.

TRAVIS: Where's this gate that you guys were at?

ASHLEY: Well, I'd have to find it again.

TRAVIS: Is it here?

ASHLEY: Well, it is, it's-- I don't really remember. (laughter)

MATT: It's on Tal'Dorei.

LIAM and ASHLEY: Tal'Dorei.

MATT: In the Verdant Expanse.

ASHLEY: That's right.

LIAM: Yeah, not too far from the city of Emon. Not too far.

ASHLEY: Yeah. We should all go there sometime! We could stay with my grandmother. She's an amazing cook. She makes amazing meat pies and all sorts of candies.

LAURA: Ooh, that sounds wonderful.

LIAM: I think if you're inviting us to another plane of existence, the answer's probably yes.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Okay. We'll go sometime.

LAURA: That'd be wonderful.

MARISHA: Why do you think there's so many fey creatures here right now?

ASHLEY: Maybe it's leaking.

TRAVIS: Maybe there's a gate here.

LAURA: I mean.

MARISHA: Maybe the gate is leaking.

ASHLEY: There could be a gate here.

MARISHA: Just oozing.

ASHLEY: I think there are more.

MARISHA: It's pus.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: Would you sense it?

SAM: Fey-nal leakage.

LAURA: Do you think you would sense the Feywild?

ASHLEY: Let me try. Let me try. (blows raspberries) What do I do? (laughter)

SAM: "What do I do?"

LAURA: I want a hot dog real bad. (laughter)

MARISHA: Holy shit, she's totally inbred. Yes! (laughter)

MATT: Go ahead and roll a d20 and add your wisdom modifier to it.

LIAM: Come on, come on.

ASHLEY: Okay, get ready because I'm going to find it right now.

TRAVIS: With the pebble dice. Now the bigger.

MARISHA: And it's gone now. That one's gone.

ASHLEY: That's a natural one.

LAURA: Aw!

TALIESIN: Knew it! Nailed it!

ASHLEY: I'm trying so hard!

MATT: So here's what's interesting. You are attuned to the source of your magic and essence, so there's no pinpoint or direction, but there is a general faint fey energy to this jungle. That's about all you can pick up on. Nothing directional, and it's very faint. It's suffused the air and the ground.

ASHLEY: I just feel it's... tickling me everywhere, but it's not a specific point.

TRAVIS: Like it's in the water?

ASHLEY: Yeah, it's floating around everywhere, but I mean, I don't know, maybe other parts leave like I do.

TALIESIN: Would this give off a vibe or no?

MATT: Mm-mm.

SAM: Wow.

MARISHA: Strange.

LIAM: We got to press on.

SAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: Absolutely.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Saddle up!

LIAM: Come on, Rabbit.

MATT: Pushing forward, I would like somebody to roll a d20 for us, please.

LIAM: I think we're going around, aren't we?

TRAVIS: Yep.

TALIESIN: You're up.

LIAM: Okay. Come on, second rabbit! Six.

MATT: A six. You continue on this path for a number of hours. Stop. Give your horses a break, have yourself some snacks, some midday lunch with your rations and bits of edibles you've kept with you. Remount. Continue on. Until a better part of your eight-plus hours of travel on horseback comes to a close safely, unbothered, winding past the sound of distant rivers and the occasional rush of wind that blows through the jungle, and you hear the canopies rustle, this soft, heavy, continuous, sourceless growl that swells and then vanishes. Eventually the horses, you can sense them getting tired, their gait beginning to slow. You know it's probably getting close to time to set camp.

LIAM: Another couple of days left.

LAURA: Yeah. Start keeping an eye out for an area that would be good.

MATT: Okay. All right. Roll a survival check, please.

TALIESIN: I'll throw you advantage.

LAURA: All right.

TALIESIN: I see what you found last time, I can look for it again.

SAM: Jesus.

LAURA: 20.

MATT: 20 again. All right. You find, this is a little bit more of a journey to take, but roughly 100 or so feet off the northwestern edge. The path itself is curving a little bit to a northwestern direction, so you head further up that northwestern area. There is a dropoff, a small cliff that goes down about 10 or so feet, but there is a gradual decline around the side, and you can see that'll get you in a way where you're mostly not visible from the road and low enough where it's the best place to build a camp that you can find in your current topography.

LAURA: All right.

MATT: So you gather your horses, settle up down there, situate your fire, prepare your evening's meal, and take your chosen... watches.

ASHLEY: I'll take-- Okay. I'll take first watch.

MATT: All right, if you don't mind, make a check for me. Perception check.

ASHLEY: I'll take?

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm. Aw, yeah.

ASHLEY: 19.

TALIESIN: Six.

MATT: Okay. You fall asleep a little early, but only because there's a specific thrum of a particular insect at night.

TALIESIN: I'll actually say I have a slightly different distraction if you're down for it.

MATT: Sure. Go for it.

TALIESIN: I'm going to try and pickpocket. I'm going to try and grab some shit. I'm not watching. I'm going for something.

MATT: Okay, okay.

TRAVIS: Zero distraction pickpocket.

MATT: Anything in particular?

TALIESIN: What you got? That's visible?

ASHLEY: I mean, I have quite the collection.

MATT: If you're just trying to grab what's there--

TALIESIN: I'm going random.

MATT: Okay, roll a sleight of hand check. You roll a perception check, as you are currently glancing off in the distance towards the distant lines.

SAM: That's a breathing.

ASHLEY: 10.

TALIESIN: Eight.

MARISHA: Oh!

MATT: So you're looking off, keeping a close eye on the distant, just as the last light begins to fade, and you feel a tug at your hip. Glancing over and you can see Ashton's arm there, reaching into one of your pouches.

ASHLEY: Excuse me?

TALIESIN: I was just checking. It's still there. That's good.

ASHLEY: It's all still there.

TALIESIN: No, that's very good.

ASHLEY: You can always just ask. What do you want?

TALIESIN: I want to not ask. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Fair enough.

TALIESIN: Game on later?

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: Well done.

ASHLEY: Are you-- That might be a rude question, never mind.

TALIESIN: Oh, please.

ASHLEY: Are you-- Are you all rock hard?

TALIESIN: That's never a weird question.

LAURA: What time is it? Is it 3:00? (laughter)

LIAM: That's second shift. (laughter)

TALIESIN: I mean, I don't know, I haven't checked. I mean the outside, yes, and what little inside I've seen, yes. I'll tell you what, I wasn't always. This wasn't how I started.

ASHLEY: What do you mean?

TALIESIN: Well, I mean, I was soft once.

ASHLEY: Do you bleed?

TALIESIN: Kinda, yeah, I think you've seen it actually.

ASHLEY: I know, but--

TALIESIN: Because you've seen me get the living shit kicked out of me, I believe. You were there, I think.

ASHLEY: I was there, I just, I wasn't-- I was not paying attention. That's not true--

TALIESIN: No, no. I'm having this moment where I'm realizing that perhaps one of the reasons why I allow myself to get the shit kicked out of me is in the hope that people are actually fucking watching. So that weirdly hurt. Holy shit.

ASHLEY: I was trying to take money out of people's pockets while they were busy.

TALIESIN: Apology accepted. Thank you.

TALIESIN: Wow, yeah, that's some insight shit.

ASHLEY: You weren't always this way?

TALIESIN: No, no. Started to kind of shift when I was younger.

ASHLEY: How young?

TALIESIN: 10, 11, 12-ish.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I guess.

ASHLEY: You shifted?

TALIESIN: Slowly, yeah.

ASHLEY: Interesting.

TALIESIN: Yeah. Don't really know why. Got some theories, but, yeah.

ASHLEY: Can I touch it?

TALIESIN: Yeah! Hmm.

ASHLEY: No? That's weird.

TALIESIN: No, I'm not charging you anymore. Yeah, sure. I was just debating asking for some cash. Yeah, go ahead.

ASHLEY: It's just very pretty.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

ASHLEY: Wow. I might try to steal it one day.

TALIESIN: I would be very entertained.

ASHLEY: I'm just kidding. I won't. I'll let it stay in your head.

TALIESIN: Oh, no, no, no. This isn't over.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: This isn't over by half.

ASHLEY: Game on.

TALIESIN: Game on.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: What were we supposed to be doing? Fuck. (laughter)

MATT: The rest of your watch goes on uninterrupted, without issue. You finish your shift. Who takes next shift?

MARISHA: I'll take the next one.

LIAM: I'll join her.

MATT: All right, both of you roll perception checks, please.

MARISHA: Natural one. (laughter)

TRAVIS: A lot of ones on these rolls.

LIAM: 17.

MARISHA: Six total. Not that-- I don't think it matters.

MATT: 17. The first thing you notice, about an hour into your shift is the heavier clouds have taken the sky and a bit of moisture begins to hit your nose as it begins to rain through the jungle. The temperature drops even cooler.

MARISHA: Laudna is distracted by-- She's got Pâté and she's making him dance in front of the fire and he's making a little shadow puppet display. He's like-- (dance beat)

MARISHA: She's just very distracted, entertaining herself and maybe Orym. I don't think he cares, though. It's mainly for her.

LIAM: No, he's got one eye on the surroundings and one eye on Pâté. Pâté's hard to ignore. Laudna. I'm going to keep looking around.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Yes.

LIAM: What was it like in Whitestone? Because I don't know a ton, but what I do know sounds hard.

MARISHA: It was pretty rough. I was a bit naive to the real Whitestone. I was living a simple life. Just assumed that that's how all cities were. A little terrified. Everyone just tries to suck it up and go along, right?

LIAM: Any good memories or was it?

MARISHA: Oh, sure. I had a lovely childhood. Lived on the outskirts, on farmland. You know, my days were spent running in the forests and digging up worms and running around in bare feet.

LIAM: This is long before them, right?

MARISHA: Yeah. They came in sometime in my youth. Then, yes, things slowly started to change. It wasn't an overnight shift. Political coups were so out of my family's purview. We were all so... ignorant, I guess. Try not to concern yourselves with the problems of people who make a lot more money than you.

LIAM: It was a long time ago. This might be too forward, but do you remember much about the end?

MARISHA: Like the end, the end? There are some blank spots, yes, but I remember quite a lot, for better or for worse, I guess. My parents thought that getting an invitation to the palace, to the castle, getting an invitation to the palace, to the castle, to meet the Lord and Lady Briarwood was a great boon. We were promised a wonderful feast and an amazing party. We were told we were going to be serving a greater purpose for Whitestone.

LIAM: I would say it's a crap shoot, because it's not like I was best friends with my boss. I was just an employee, but it's possible I would've overheard discussion of this. Would I? Can I roll to see if I understand it?

MATT: Roll a history check.

SAM: Come on. Biggest roll of the night.

LIAM: History?

MATT: Yes.

LIAM: 23.

SAM: Ooh.

MATT: Like a shock of lightning in your head, you make the connection. You heard the terrible tale of what happened.

LAURA: I want to throw something at her.

TALIESIN: (gasps) (laughter)

LIAM: You know what's interesting about you?

MARISHA: Hmm. I would hope a great deal of many things.

LIAM: Well, there's the obvious, but you are the happiest person in this bunch.

MARISHA: Of course. The worst thing that's ever happened to me has already happened.

LIAM: What the fuck is up with that? (quiet laughter)

MARISHA: I remember being tossed clothes to wear, told to change. We'd be served a wonderful dinner, which we were. It was actually quite fantastic. It was like filet, a little surf and turf, had some lobsters. And then... That was it. They dragged me away, separated me from my parents. I was brutally beaten and then... It's a little fuzzy after that. But next thing I remember was waking up, being hung from a tree. It was the Sun Tree, actually. It was quite a spectacle.

LIAM: Yeah, I gathered. Um, I'm-- I'm so sorry.

MARISHA: (sighs) It was a long time ago.

LIAM: Respectfully, so fucking what?

MARISHA: I've had plenty of great things happen to me since then. It honestly doesn't even feel like it was me. Different life, you know, as they say.

LIAM: Well, (sighs) sorry, it's really cold out, but I'm feeling kind of hot.

MARISHA: Are you all right?

LIAM: Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, I am, yeah.

MARISHA: Don't you pay no mind to me or my past. Focus your brain forward. It's not worth being sad about what can't be changed.

LIAM: I know that to be true. I'll just, I'll just leave that between you and me, if-- I don't want to-- (laughs) That's a lot.

MARISHA: You see these? You see my ears?

LIAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: I'll take the little gold cuffs, little pointed ear gold cuffs off. I wear these to hide it, because people get all gagged out about it, but they cut my ears to make them pointy, to further match whatever warning signal that I was.

LIAM: You seem okay, but-- Orym will stand up and hug her crouching, semi-living form.

MARISHA: Are you all right?

LIAM: You shouldn't have had to through that.

MARISHA: What? What, sorry?

LIAM: Nobody should have had to face anything like that. I am sorry, and I'm impressed with you.

MARISHA: Well, thank you. That's very kind. It is strange. I don't think anyone's apologized for that. It's not really your place, but it means a lot.

LIAM: Not for it, just... Words don't really handle that.

MARISHA: Well, I think it's clear that you empathize because you understand. I'm sure you've had many a bad day, but we'll talk more about that next watch.

LIAM: I kick Chetney in the butt, wake him up.

TRAVIS: Huh?

LIAM: Your turn.

TRAVIS: Yeah? What time is it?

LIAM: No idea. I think... just before or just after 3:00. (quiet laughter)

TRAVIS: Okay. Hmm.

MARISHA: Sweet dreams.

LIAM: Yeah, about that. Orym's going to go lie down and pretend to sleep and take a point of exhaustion because there's no fucking way you would fall asleep after that conversation.

MATT: Okay, mark that point of exhaustion. Chetney, you taking the next watch yourself or are you partnering up?

LAURA: I'll get up.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Yeah, night owls!

LAURA: Woo! Team Horse!

TRAVIS: I feel like the third watch is the hardest, because you've got the pre-sleep concrete feel.

LAURA: Yeah, no, you already got the appetizer.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: All right. Both of you guys roll perception checks for me, please?

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: 17.

LAURA: 17! (oohing)

MATT: Nice. Keeping your eyes out for the night, the cold rain is causing you to shiver, and though the canopy does help offset a lot of the rain falling from the sky, it still hits a majority of your camp. You try and keep, going to move closer to the edge of the tree or that cliff side for the best cover you can get. It's not comfortable sleep, but it's enough. Your shift goes by without major issue, and eventually the sun rises onto your next day of travel. The rain, continuing. The sun, not visible. Just a lighter, gray sky above as you progress. I would like somebody to roll a d20.

LAURA: Oh.

ASHLEY: It's your turn.

LAURA: I'm up.

TRAVIS: Pink.

LAURA: Four.

MATT: Four? Okay. The rain gets heavier.

LAURA: Ah, shit.

MATT: And heavier as the clouds go darker and darker.

SAM: You did this!

MATT: You hear-- (laughter)

MATT: -- the distant roll of thunder.

SAM: Cool.

MARISHA: Light rain and heavy rain.

MATT: The occasional flash. (lightning crackle)

SAM: Oh! What just happened?

LAURA: Oh shit!

MARISHA: Yeah, this might be the thunderstorm one, actually.

MATT: Rolling through. It's miserable. You all take whatever cloaks and hoods you have and tuck up tighter, continue pushing onto the track at the trail.

TRAVIS: How are the horses doing?

MATT: The horses are going, uncomfortably so.

TALIESIN: They're never going to make it.

LAURA: No! They'll be fine. They'll be fine.

SAM: I'm starting to skid out. Maybe I should ride in the cart for a while.

TALIESIN: Maybe time to get back in the cart.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Just a little.

LAURA: Gunk up your gears. (laughter)

MATT: But as you press forward, about three hours into this journey, the heavy fog getting thicker and thicker, (thunder rumble) not too far from the road, there was a blinding flash, the sound of wood splintering and a massive, massive sharp sound that causes you all to instinctively grab your ears. The horses rear up. (neighing) You end up crashing back down, some of you almost falling off, but you catch yourselves.

SAM: Oh!

MATT: You can see this plume of dark smoke rising up about 200 feet, 300 feet above and to the right of the trail that you're on.

LAURA: Was it just a tree?

SAM: Like a lightning strike?

TRAVIS: I kick into a gallop.

SAM: Oh.

MATT: (galloping)

LAURA: I follow.

TALIESIN: Well, shit.

MATT: Okay. Water splashing around you, the normally packed, dried dirt of the trail has now become a thick mud. Occasionally, you feel the slip of the hooves, but you continue pushing forward. You can see the smoke plume coming and it is a ways off the path. You get to the point where you can see loosely where it is. It's starting to slowly subside, the blackened smoke's becoming more of a gray. Yeah.

LAURA: Are you riding towards it?

TRAVIS: Trying to. I've never seen a tree struck by lighting before.

MATT: You go off the trail?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: Okay. You're now riding the horse through the--

LAURA: All the warnings that we got. (laughter)

MATT: -- the tougher parts of the thickened jungle. As you move through, the horse is having to move a little more gingerly and carefully as the slick stone and the rocky topography make it dangerous to traverse.

TRAVIS: If it starts getting a little gnarly, I'll hop off and I'll throw a reign over a branch, just tie him up, and continue on foot.

MATT: Okay, probably safer as things progress forward. So are you all going with Chetney, or are you--

LIAM: I was riding behind him, so I'll go along, yeah.

TALIESIN: Yeah...

TRAVIS: I just want to see it.

TALIESIN: Leave the horse.

MATT: Okay. So as you all slowly trudge through this heavy stormy rain behind Chetney, make a perception check for me.

TRAVIS: I'm going to use my hearing and my smell for advantage.

MATT: Yeah, the smell definitely on this one.

LIAM: Ozone.

TRAVIS: 11.

MATT: 11, not too difficult to get the general sense, as you can smell the burning scent pretty strongly through the scents of the cleansing rainstorm. You step down into this, for lack of a better term, a soft ravine. A part of the ground that is torn open a bit and drops for about 20 or so feet before the two sides of it catch itself, and you step along the left side of it over a slight ridge. There you see there is a twisting tree that has split down the center. You can see where the green canopy has torn at the sides and smoldering embers still burn a dull red. and smoldering embers still burn a dull red. The rain slowly taking out what may have been a brief fire on this tree. You can see along its split, there are shards of splintered wood everywhere and the blackened interior of it sits like this gradual heavy V. The tree itself may have stood 30 or so feet, but right now it is laid down to a mere eight or so off the ground from where the split eventually subsides. In the space around it, the ground, you can see the brush has been pushed back by the impact, the force of this strike.

TRAVIS: It's amazing. I'm going to pull a piece of wood. Look, never been around a tree that's been struck by lightning before. This is a sign! I start breaking off pieces of timber from the tree. I make a fucking baseball bat and join the Rangers.

SAM: Yeah, sure, yeah. (laughter)

SAM: In that game.

ASHLEY: I'm going to start helping, just start peeling pieces of wood off for you.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I'm just going to put my hand on the tree and look up at the storm. The rain coming down.

MATT: You, I'm sorry, what were you saying? You're going to...

LAURA: Put my hand on the tree and look up at the storm.

MATT: Hand on the tree and look up at the storm. It's beautiful because this canopy is extremely dense at this time, but this one opening since the tree's been split, gives you a direct look up into the heavy dark skies above. You can see the flashes of distant lightning striking elsewhere within the Oderan Wilds. Orym and Fearne.

SAM: Oh!

MATT: As everyone's looking in the space and glancing around, you both see something odd in the center of this split. It makes no sense. There's a growth. Small, shaking, impacted by the heavy rainfall.

LIAM: Talking about like--

MATT: A faint bluish coloration.

ASHLEY: Orym?

LIAM: Glowing within when you see, almost like a cancerous bulge on a tree? Is that what we're talking about?

MATT: Maybe, but thin.

LIAM: Easy, easy, easy. I'm going to get up behind Chetney and Imogen. Say, hold up, don't move. I want to try to get a closer look at it. Getting right up to the tree, can I make anything more out?

MATT: As you get closer, it is a bit high up, but from a certain viewing point a little bit off to the right you can, from your height especially, you can see better. It's a flower. A blue-petaled flower that seems to stand there in the center of this freshly split tree, like it had always been there, or it should not have been there at all.

LIAM: Blue flower in the storm.

LAURA: I feel like that's something. I feel like we heard something about that. It's ringing bells.

MARISHA: Feels like some Feywild shit.

LAURA: I mean, yeah, we should definitely take that.

LIAM: I mean--

LAURA: I think that's rare.

LIAM: Is it reminding anyone else of anything?

SAM: You said a blue flower?

LAURA: Blue flower.

LIAM: I think of our friend who we said goodbye to a few days ago. I'm going to gingerly reach out and cut it free. I'm going to gingerly reach out and cut it free.

MATT: Okay. You go to reach for it and as you do, your hand gets within a couple of inches of it, and the blue coloration of the petals seems to get slightly brighter. Right as you notice this, energy arcs off of it towards your hand. I need you to make a dexterity saving throw for me, please.

LAURA: It's a gift from the Stormlord.

LIAM: 18.

MATT: 18, okay. You only take five points of lightning damage.

LIAM: Okay, that's not so bad.

MATT: You pull back a bit and reach in and then cut it free. As you do, you hold it in your hand and it's buzzing with energy. Even in your grasp, you imagine prolonged holding of this would probably cause your hand to go numb. But as you look at it in your grasp. It looks like it is beautiful and oddly ethereal in a strange way. That blue glow is unnatural, and it still seems to hold some sort of innate energy within.

LAURA: FCG

SAM: Yeah. You got got something for me? (laughter)

TALIESIN: Always.

LIAM: Sure.

LAURA: I do think that's a gift from the Stormlord.

SAM: All right. I won't touch it, but I will (buzzes) and Identify. I won't touch it, but I will (buzzes) and Identify.

MATT: Okay. That is a chromatic rose, specifically, a blue chromatic rose.

MARISHA: Chromatic rose.

SAM: ♪ Every chromatic rose has its chromatic thorn ♪ (laughter)

MATT: While holding the rose from its stem, you gain resistance to lightning damage. (oohing)

LAURA: Oh wow.

MATT: If you would take more than 10 lightning damage after resistance, from a single source, it destroys the rose.

LAURA: Oh.

LIAM: Okay.

ASHLEY: That's awesome.

MATT: But you take no damage in that instance.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Also, or alternatively, you can take an action to blow the petals from it and a 20-foot cone of lightning can blast forward.

SAM: Nice.

MARISHA: That's cool.

LAURA: Awesome.

MATT: That does destroy the rose, so it is a one-time use.

LAURA: That's pretty freaking sick.

SAM: Limited use item.

LIAM: I'm going to twist the stem of it around my belt

LIAM: I'm going to twist the stem of it around my belt so that it's right there.

SAM: Cool.

TRAVIS: Very cool item.

SAM: It's a cool forest.

LAURA: Very cool.

MARISHA: (laughs)

LAURA: Well, they say, stay to the path, but everything cool is off the path.

SAM: Absolutely.

MATT: You guys got some really lucky rolls.

SAM: You got some good wood there?

TRAVIS: The best. I could feel it vibrating with energy. What'd you find?

LIAM: Keepsake.

SAM: Flower.

TRAVIS: Oh. (mocking) Okay. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Back to the horses, quickly!

SAM: Back to the horses! Hiya!

TRAVIS: If they're still alive.

LIAM: Will I find that in here, Matt?

MATT: Hmm?

LIAM: Will I find that in here?

MATT: You will, yeah. Chromatic rose.

LAURA: Never.

MARISHA: (laughs)

TALIESIN: ♪ ("Kiss from a Rose") ♪

LAURA: I'll ride that high horse--

LIAM: ♪ Baby ♪

LAURA: -- through every campaign.

TALIESIN: You're required to sing that when you do blow.

LIAM: Yeah, when I use it.

TRAVIS: Are the horses still there?

MATT: Horses are still there.

TRAVIS: Cool.

MATT: Horses are still safe. Getting back onto your mounts, you continue onward. The rough storm, it does slow your journey a bit. So that three to four day journey becomes a four to five day journey. Depending on how the next days go, you may have an additional day added to it depending. We're on the cusp. The rest of this day does eventually come to a close. The storm begins to subside and you find the light of day fading as it is time to set camp for another evening.

MARISHA: It's worth it for the projection effect. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Dude, yeah.

MATT: All right.

ASHLEY: I feel like we should keep these flowers on here all the time.

SAM: Just forever?

LAURA: I know it's just so beautiful.

TALIESIN: At least until we get to the next town, maybe.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

TALIESIN: These can be the road flowers.

SAM: They're all real, though, so they're going to start to rot.

TRAVIS: Cool.

TALIESIN: All of this is. Nothing is real.

MARISHA: This is what happened to the last set, too, and then the vines just lasted there for forever.

MATT: They were cool.

TALIESIN: They were cool.

MARISHA: They were cool.

MATT: All right.

SAM: Do we need to survival check?

MATT: Somebody has to.

SAM: I'll do it!

TRAVIS: I thought it was Ash.

SAM: Okay, Ashley.

ASHLEY: You already rolled.

LIAM: That's for travel.

SAM: I did, I did a 14.

LIAM: He's checking for,

LAURA: We're checking for--

LIAM: They are checking for a campsite.

LAURA: Are you checking for a campsite?

SAM: I'm checking for a campsite.

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: 14.

LAURA: Do you want advantage?

SAM: Too late.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Sure, yeah. A little harder to find, especially in the midst of the storm the previous day. A lot of the hidden spaces are now extremely muddy, which makes not only, one, finding wood that's dry enough to start a fire, challenging, aside from any kindling you may have brought with you or decided to purchase, but it still keeps a cold night air and honestly, a spread of bog-like locales that would've been normally away from the road's point of view. But you find something that'll work, you think. Try and keep warm around a low set fire. Who's taking the first watch?

SAM: I will, since I didn't last time, I guess.

LAURA: I'll join.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Do we perceptiony?

MATT: Perception check, please.

SAM: Ooh!

LAURA: Oh good?

SAM: Oh no.

LAURA: Natural 20.

MATT: Nice.

ASHLEY: There you go.

SAM: 13.

MATT: First watch, thankfully uneventful. You finish out that. Who's taking next watch?

LAURA: How you doing?

SAM: How do I feel? I feel good, I feel good.

LAURA: All right, cool.

SAM: How you feeling? You want to talk to me about your dreams?

LAURA: I mean, nothing more than I already--

SAM: Cool.

LAURA: But, I mean, I feel great.

SAM: What does that mean, why?

LAURA: Because we're out of the fucking city.

SAM: Oh, you don't like the city?

LAURA: I hate the city. So many voices constantly. It's like, you're half of yourself because you're just trying to keep up these walls to keep all the voices out.

SAM: Yeah, that would be--

LAURA: This is great.

SAM: That would be terrible.

LAURA: It's--

SAM: Can you still hear our voices, our head voices?

LAURA: I keep that out for the most part. I don't want to invade on any thoughts.

SAM: Oh, that's nice.

LAURA: Unless you want me to.

SAM: Anytime, anytime you want.

LAURA: I don't know. The last time I did it, it felt like--

SAM: You know, we have such similar abilities. It might be interesting to just sort of like--

LAURA: What if we did at the same time, like we mind melded.

SAM: Simul-probe.

LAURA: You want to do it? Oh my gosh, it'll be like--

SAM: Let's do it.

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: Let's do it. I'm going to go deep.

LAURA: Me, too.

SAM: All the way.

LAURA: Hard.

SAM: Deep and hard.

LAURA: Deep and hard. (laughs)

SAM: No one else is awake, right?

LAURA: Oh no. (laughter)

LAURA: How many attachments you got?

SAM: How many what?

LAURA: Never mind. What are you talking about? (laughter)

LAURA: All right, I'm going to cast Detect Thoughts.

SAM: I'm going to cast Detect Thoughts also.

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: Wait, let's see what I can do. What happens at a higher level?

LAURA: I don't think anything.

SAM: Oh, it does nothing.

LAURA: Yeah, no, no, no.

SAM: All right, I'll just do it at the regular level.

MATT: This is when you hold the microphone really close to the speaker and you just get the loud feedback that breaks your brain.

LAURA: Ah!

ASHLEY: Crazy feedback.

TALIESIN: Sullivan. Sullivan.

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: All right. Is this like Dark Crystal where they start mind melding?

MARISHA: Oh yeah.

LAURA: "I remember our childhood."

MATT: So you are both casting

SAM and MATT: Simultaneous Detect Thoughts.

SAM: And we're going to go deeper. I'm not going to resist.

LAURA: Me neither.

MARISHA: Is this going to create a feedback loop?

TALIESIN: I want roll for Freaky Friday.

MATT: No, I'm legitimately-- One of you roll a d20.

LAURA: You got it.

SAM: Just a weird 11. I don't know what that is.

MATT: Okay, okay, 11. It is challenging, because the two spells themselves seem to ouroboros for a moment. For a brief moment, it feels like you both opened a well into the space between you and both of you are about to be pulled in. Like this was a mistake. This was a terrible mistake. Then you push through that and it is more or less a soft merging of consciousness. There is a moment where you both are having a conversation, but with just emotions and memories.

LAURA: Yes!

MATT: It's very unique. There's not language more than it's just expressing and sharing. It comes to memories that involve you growing up, you helping, you know, rear and take care of your first foal, and raising horses, and dealing with the frustrations of working in farm pastures under Mr. Faramore. It deals--

SAM: Mr. Faramore.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Memories of the reoccurring dream, you now get to see it. You get to actually experience some of these memories and visions, this deep red, ominous, flashing storm. and visions, this deep red, ominous, flashing storm. The heavy dust and winds. The sense of hunger and growing doom.

LAURA: Scared as fuck.

SAM: There's lots of meaning and subtext in there.

MATT: Conversely, you begin to look into FCG and you see memories of traveling with Dancer and the troop. You actually can now see the other automatons they traveled with. You get to see the campfire parties. You get to see the stumbling through town and the odd looks. But the sense of belonging that was felt and enjoyed.

LAURA: Your family.

MATT: You see a flash of those same individuals scattered around, unmoving, bloody. You see a figure darting off into the shadow of night. And the loneliness. The sorrow and the loneliness. Roll a d20 for me.

LAURA: 11.

SAM: Mutual 11s.

LAURA: Yeah, that means something.

SAM: It does.

LIAM: Synchronicity.

MATT: That's about as deep as it gets for this. You get the sense on both of your parts that there's probably more there, but this is still new, this is still odd. Right now, this is about where it should sit. Right now, this is about where it should sit.

LAURA: I just hug him.

SAM: Yeah, I'll hug you back.

LAURA: Yeah. I feel like we're the same person now. I mean, you probably know more than anybody I've ever--

SAM: That dream was really, it was just so big and--

LAURA: I know you so well, man. (laughter)

LIAM: Fuck, you're burned.

LAURA: You're beautiful. (laughter)

SAM: You're so fragile. You're so vulnerable. (laughter) I just want to hold you. (laughter)

LAURA: If you need therapy, if that helped at all--

SAM: I mean--

LAURA: -- I'm here for you.

SAM: It felt good to sort of, I didn't get it out, but you got it in.

LAURA: Yeah. I know, doesn't it help to know somebody knows?

SAM: I feel closer.

LAURA: Yeah. Hey, maybe we can keep trying and the next time we do that, we can tornado deeper. You know what I mean?

SAM: Yeah. It might help us both.

LAURA: Yeah, some new form of therapy and I think we discovered it.

SAM: Yeah. That only works with us.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: All right.

LAURA: Oh shit, were we supposed to be watching?

SAM: Oh shit! (laughter)

MATT: Roll initiative! Nah. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Just like your previous party, we're all bloody and scattered.

MATT: No, not again!

SAM: It happened again!

ASHLEY: (yells) No!

LIAM: There's Laudna parts in different areas.

TRAVIS: Again.

ASHLEY: Help, it's again. (laughter)

LIAM: Oh no. This is fine.

MATT: Your watch goes uneventfully, beyond the remnants of the cold wet jungle night. Who takes the third and final watch for the night?

LIAM: I will watch.

TRAVIS: Me, too.

MATT: All right, two of you roll perception checks, if you don't mind.

TRAVIS: Natural 20 for Chetney.

LIAM: Nice, 17 for me.

MATT: 17, very solid. At one point during your watch, you do hear this distant growl. Kind of a (growls). (animals snarling) You hear others, and it sounds like a fight. Like two night predators encountered each other's turf and are duking it out. It sounds hundreds of feet away, but loud enough that it is audible in your space for two of you who are attuned to both keeping a vigilant watch at night and tuning out the distant noise and sounds. You both keep your weapons at the ready and just listen. It sounds like the scuffle careens off, further away. The territorial dispute continuing safely away from where you are resting. But the rest of your watch is thankfully uneventful until eventually the warmth of light begins to find its way to the jungle once more. Your next day of travel is before you.

LIAM: What are you going to whittle for me?

TRAVIS: Do you want to know what it is?

LIAM: I've been thinking, other people made requests, but I guess I want you to surprise me.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah, I figured I'd fill in the blank. It's interpretive.

LIAM: All art is.

TRAVIS: Well, right. I'm making it to suit you, or rather how I see you or a part of you.

LIAM: Oh boy.

TRAVIS: Yeah, you're going to like it, don't worry.

LIAM: I have no doubt.

TRAVIS: Speaking of art, I see you got the moons on that sleeve. Some sweet ink, bro.

LIAM: I mean, it's no alpha male tattoo, but...

TRAVIS: Alpha what?

LIAM: Alpha wolf? Alpha...

TRAVIS: You mean this?

LIAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Oh. You know what this is?

LIAM: What's it say, DPB?

TRAVIS: RTA.

LIAM: Oh, RTA.

TRAVIS: It does get a little faded with time, but it's relatively new, so.

LIAM: Oh, when'd you get it?

TRAVIS: After I changed.

LIAM: And how long have you been dealing with it?

TRAVIS: Boy, it feels like forever. I think in reality, maybe a couple months.

LIAM: Wow, that's new.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LIAM: That's new. Comes in handy, though.

TRAVIS: It does.

LIAM: It's hard to keep a handle on?

TRAVIS: No, only in certain situations, but it's very few and far between. There are times, though, where it gets a little... A little dicey.

LIAM: Cool.

TRAVIS: But not in a dangerous way or anything.

LIAM: Okay, a non-dangerous dicey way.

TRAVIS: Do you have any experience with our kind? I mean, I do see the love.

LIAM: The love?

TRAVIS: For the moon.

LIAM: Oh yeah.

TRAVIS: What's that for?

LIAM: The ink?

TRAVIS: Well, the moon.

LIAM: The moon.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LIAM: Oh, well. (sighs)

TRAVIS: Whoa. (laughter)

LIAM: It's to help me remember my husband.

TRAVIS: Oh. Oh. And is he not? Oh, I'm sorry.

LIAM: Thanks.

TRAVIS: Again, it's a beautiful piece.

LIAM: Yeah, I like it.

TRAVIS: Can I ask what his name was?

LIAM: Yeah. Will. His name was Will. (sighs) Still miss him. It's been... six years. I still miss him.

TRAVIS: Six years. Feels like a lifetime ago?

LIAM: (uncertain noise) Some days it feels like it was just... like yesterday. Some days it feels further away.

TRAVIS: Yeah, time's weird like that.

LIAM: Yeah. Soup.

TRAVIS: Wow, I'm so sorry, you're so young.

LIAM: So was he. Changed my life, though, for the better.

TRAVIS: My goodness.

LIAM: You know what, though? The time we had was real good, and I'm not going to lie, I mean, most nights, I miss him, but the time we had was real good.

TRAVIS: That's great. Was this back with the Air Ashari?

LIAM: Yep. He died that day.

TRAVIS: The attack.

LIAM: Yeah. Yeah.

TRAVIS: Oh god! Oh, this is personal for you. This is all connected to that.

LIAM: Oh yes.

TRAVIS: Aw, fuck!

LIAM: But it's also my duty, and it was his, all of ours. And... You know. We chose our life with eyes wide open.

TRAVIS: You were both protecting the... Hand of the Tempest?

LIAM: Voice, voice.

TRAVIS: Voice.

LIAM: Voice.

TRAVIS: I mean, while we were with a big caterpillar butt, did you want to stay and drive home on what all that is?

LIAM: I'm sorry, I don't follow, how do you mean?

TRAVIS: Well, didn't the shade creepers also attack the Ashari in the same?

LIAM: That's not what I'd ascertained at this point, right?

MATT: No, what you encountered that day--

LIAM: Melting away.

MATT: Correct. It was an odd, dark, black-gray liquid.

LIAM: They weren't little gibbering?

MATT: No, they were--

LIAM: Some type of people.

MATT: Yep, dark gray-black leather clad. Very highly-skilled killers.

LIAM: Yeah. No, that was a different thing.

TRAVIS: Oh, okay.

LIAM: I guess a little sort of the same, but very different.

TRAVIS: I forget sometimes, I'm sorry. You're a good guy, Orym. I'm sure Will was very happy.

LIAM: I don't know what I'm doing, but I do try to do right by him and by all the Ashari, everyone.

TRAVIS: You're a rare one, I got to say, I actually believe you. Don't see that very often.

LIAM: I'm not super good at lying.

TRAVIS: No?

LIAM: No. No, I don't have a very good poker face. Boy, I haven't talked about him in a long time. Not in months, anyway. She knows.

TRAVIS: Who?

LIAM: Fearne.

TRAVIS: Oh.

LIAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: And Dorian? Got it.

LIAM: Anyway, thanks for talking to me about it.

TRAVIS: I want to hear more about the moon sometime and what it meant. I'm figuring out my relationship with it, so.

LIAM: Well, that's not complicated, I don't mind sharing it. He was... half-elven, and big moon, little moon.

TRAVIS: Oh god, I love it. (laughter)

ASHLEY and MARISHA: Oh no.

TRAVIS: (tearfully) That's great. You hear growls?

LIAM: I did like seven or eight minutes ago, but I think it passed. Did it pass?

MATT: It's passed now, yeah. It's getting slightly lighter.

LIAM: Oh god, they're behind me.

TRAVIS: Emotional damage. (laughter)

LIAM: I think the sun's coming up. We should probably wake the others.

TRAVIS: Oh, not yet. I got to get some work in. I feel inspired. (laughter)

MATT: Slowly, the rest of you wake up to the subtle sounds of (whittling).

TRAVIS: I'm doing it above Ashton's head so all the little-- (laughter)

LIAM: They wake up to tea. Yeah, I've made tea in advance for everyone waking up.

MATT: Fantastic. Tea gathered, strength returned. Pick up your horses once more to traverse further northward towards the Heartmoor Hamlet. Let's go ahead and have somebody roll a d20 for the next day of your journey.

LIAM: Hey, Fearne!

SAM: Come on, Fearne.

TALIESIN: Hey, Fearne.

SAM: This is it, this is it.

ASHLEY: Two.

MATT: Two, okay.

ASHLEY: Oh, what is that face?

TRAVIS: Just above a one.

MARISHA: Oh boy.

TALIESIN: Two ones.

MATT: No. You continue onward with the remainder of the day without issue.

SAM: Hey, look at that.

MATT: You do notice the topography of the jungle beginning to change. The extremely tall, twisted, gnarled, long-branched, thick, heavy-rooted jungle trees are beginning to grow a little more sparse and starting to drop lower from some of them being 60, 70, 80 feet tall, are starting to drop closer to 40, 50, some 30, 20 feet. The thick jungle floors that you see filled with all manner of bush and fern, beginning to give way to occasional bits of marshy spots. Connoting that you're starting to get a little bit closer to the Heartmoor. You likely have one more day of travel and you might be arriving at the Hamlet right around the time of night, should all go well. So we'll rocket forward for the purposes of travel to the next night's camping, if someone would like to make a survival check for me?

LIAM: You're real good at it.

TALIESIN: I'll give you advantage.

LAURA: All right.

LIAM and TALIESIN: Advantage!

MARISHA: Power!

LIAM: Advantage!

LAURA: That would be 18.

MATT: 18. Now, you run into the similar issue you did previously where--

LAURA: 16.

MATT: 16, okay. To where the lower pockets in the landscape here, though it has been post-rain, they seem to carry heavy moisture through most of the year. You find that bog-like atmosphere making it hard to find something that is not visible from the road or at least is not as well hidden below, dipping underneath the tree line. So instead, you find one of the larger swamp trees with the taller roots and hollow bits within and decide to set up within there. The fire might be smaller, but who knows? Maybe that little hollow on the inside might make for warmer space as you rest as well. But you set up camp and who takes the first watch?

ALL: I'll take it.

TRAVIS: We all do, no one sleeps.

TALIESIN: Excuse me while I try and remember I didn't hear what I just fucking heard all night. (laughter)

TALIESIN: We'll talk later.

MARISHA: Right.

TALIESIN: Do you want to roll, too, or do you want to?

MARISHA: Just general perception?

TALIESIN: General perception.

MARISHA: Yeah, let's roll together.

LIAM: Rollies.

MARISHA: Rollies!

MARISHA: 15 total.

TALIESIN: Oh, thank god. Oh yeah, I got three.

MATT: Three. Okay, you're both stood, taking first watch, chatting a bit, looking out over the jungle. You.

MARISHA: Aw.

MATT: Notice there's a hillside that you guys are against and the heavy tree that you've set your camp under, glance off and maybe about 40, 50 feet from where you are in the dark of night, there is a bit of a glow. A faint, very faint light source.

MARISHA: Glow like singular mote, or like fireflies?

MATT: A singular mote.

MARISHA: Singular mote. I don't like that, the fucking light.

LIAM: (like Gollum) Little candles.

TALIESIN: I've never told anybody this before, but I just want to-- What the fuck are you looking at? (laughter)

MATT: Campfire confessionals.

MARISHA: I take my bony fingers and wrap them around the side of his head and I smash my head against his and point to my eye line.

TALIESIN: What the fuck.

MATT: You glance over and you see that 40, 50 feet over, what looks like a tiny humanoid figure with little wings, just...

LIAM: Buddy.

MATT: Drifts and lands on the ground. (laughter)

MATT: Ooh, dizzy!

LAURA: It's Hoggle!

MARISHA: I don't like it.

TALIESIN: I don't like it, either.

MARISHA: Do we just see if it passes?

TALIESIN: Let's just see if it passes. You can make things run away, right? You can get all scary, and things will run away, right?

MARISHA: Sure, if they're fucking scared of-- They're from the Feywild! They might not be afraid of me.

TALIESIN: Well, maybe it'll think you're hot, and then you can seduce it, and it'll be your friend or something. I don't fucking know.

MARISHA: I like this story.

LIAM: She's pretty cold.

MARISHA: It's cool. I could use a little fairy that just flies around with me.

MATT: It just hangs there for 20 minutes. Slowly, it begins to rain once more.

LAURA: Aww. Poor little fairy, getting wet.

LIAM: I'm so lonely here.

LAURA: I sure wish someone--

TALIESIN: I'm fighting the urge to do something--

LAURA: Would invite me into their tree.

TALIESIN: -- stupid.

LAURA: I seem so bored.

MARISHA: What does "doing something stupid" mean?

TALIESIN: I kind of want to say hello. I know that's a terrible idea.

MARISHA: What if it has big, pointy teeth, and it's like, "Ah, let's eat us."

TALIESIN: I mean, how big would those pointy teeth actually be?

MARISHA: You don't know.

TALIESIN: I don't. I was hoping you would.

MARISHA: So you just want to be like, "Toodle-oo." Should we move up on it a little?

TALIESIN: I'm just going to wave a little bit.

MARISHA: Does it do anything? Does it see us? Does it know?

MATT: It seems to be just resting a little ways out from a trunk of a tree, keeping under the canopy from the heavier rain. It doesn't seem to notice you moving your hand at all. It's hard to tell at this distance if it's looking towards you or looking off to the side. You can just barely make out its general shape and that soft glow that surrounds it. It's going to be about that tall.

MARISHA: Maybe they're resting.

TALIESIN: I don't want to-- hmm.

MARISHA: Should I throw a rock at it?

TALIESIN: No, unless it's a really pretty rock. Then, it could be taken in either direction. 50-50 chance.

MARISHA: Following your lead here. What do you think?

TALIESIN: (coughs)

MATT: You cough loudly, and you watch it skitter around the back of the tree that it was at, out of sight. You didn't see it travel anywhere else. You know where it is, but it is definitely hiding from the source of the sound.

MARISHA: It's skittish.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

MARISHA: (clears throat)

TALIESIN: Mm.

MARISHA: ♪ Hello? ♪ This was a terrible idea.

MATT: Silence.

TALIESIN: Hey? Hi?

MARISHA: Such a great conversationalist.

MATT: The glow drifts slightly out from behind the tree, and hides back behind it.

TALIESIN: I never-- This is pretty cool. I don't know.

MARISHA: It is very fun. Do you want to eat our face off?

TALIESIN: Don't offer.

MATT: There's no response.

MARISHA: I wasn't offering! I was just cutting to the chase.

TALIESIN: Okay, well, it sounds like you're putting it on the menu. I thought you were going to, like, "Hey, we've got some food here. There's fire." But no, you were offering-- How would it even eat my face off? This is not an eatable face.

MARISHA: We have some horses.

TALIESIN: They weren't going to make it anyway. Would you like a puppet show? Why am I sounding old? (laughter)

TALIESIN: Trying to sound like Chetney, just out of pure hope.

MARISHA: I try and position Pâté to where his shadow casts toward their direction. He does a little-- ♪ Dun-dun-dun-da-dun ♪

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Okay. Drifts around the side. Shifts about 10 feet away from the tree, and approaches slightly. Just a slight leap, and it's about 30 or so feet away.

MARISHA: I make the Pâté shadow seem coy, and then he bows.

MATT: It just stands there, with the wings occasionally like--

MARISHA: (laughs) Fuck, that's cute.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: What do we do? Do we talk to it? Do we encroach? Do I wake up Fearne?

TALIESIN: No.

TRAVIS: Eat that fucker.

MARISHA: No? (laughs)

TALIESIN: Fearne will--

MARISHA: (arrow fwishing)

TALIESIN: Fearne'll get weird.

MARISHA: Fearne will get weird?

TALIESIN: I mean, maybe.

MARISHA: I... move forward like 10 feet, with Pâté leading the way. God, I'm going to die.

MATT: Okay. So Pâté is out there. Okay, you get a little closer, and you can see it has this lithe, humanoid arms and legs, but thin, almost featureless except for the musculature and the soft whitish glow that emanates from the body. You see these large, almond-like eyes, these pointed ears, and these wings that slowly flit in place. Its light pulse-glows in your direction.

MARISHA: We're not here to hurt you.

MATT: Go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw for me, please.

MARISHA: Oh, fuck me.

LIAM: Oh no.

MARISHA: Saving throw?

MARISHA: Yes.

SAM: Fine, it's fine. You're wise.

ASHLEY: It's small. You're fine.

TRAVIS: Can you save (mutters).

MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay. That's not too bad, 17 total.

MATT: 17, not bad. You-- The pulse, it seems like there's some sort of communication it's attempting, but it's not quite registering. There's something like-- Its wings try and shift, and there's a (thrumming), that light pulse on it, and-- It's like it's a familiar-type sense as to when Imogen tries to talk to you.

MARISHA: Shit.

MATT: Weirdly familiar in that sense, but it's just not quite reaching.

MARISHA: Maybe I should wake up Imogen. Maybe she could do something. It feels like it's trying to speak to us.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, it's not running away, and it's not really attacking.

MARISHA: I use Prestidigitation to make a little light emanate from Pâté, and I mimic its pulsing.

MATT: Okay. The light pulses once more. Make another wisdom saving throw.

SAM: Oh boy.

MARISHA: Natural 20.

MATT: Nice. That same sense again. It just pulses, and you make Pâté look like he's pulsing. Nothing else is happening. It stays put.

MARISHA: Hold Pâté. Imogen. Imogen!

LAURA: Huh, what? Yeah?

MARISHA: I think there's a pixie or a fairy.

MATT: You glance over, and about 30 feet from where the encampment is set, in the dark, rainy night atmosphere, lightless from beyond the low, fiery ember of the fire, you see this tiny fairy-like creature set on the ground on this root, vine. Its wings (flapping).

LAURA: Oh, in the rain? Its wings aren't even getting wet?

MARISHA: It was-- It was pulsing a little. I feel like it's trying to communicate with me. It reminded me of that feeling I get when you enter my head.

LAURA: I look at the fairy. Hello, fairy. I send out, mentally.

MATT: No response.

LAURA: Hmm.

MARISHA: I feel like it could also maybe infect my mind-- (laughter)

MARISHA: -- and take over and make me like a droning--

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I take 10 feet back once I hear that.

MARISHA: It's either a good thing--

LAURA: Does it look wet at all? Or does it just look like--

MATT: Make a perception check.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Ooh. 20.

MATT: 20. Yeah, it is wet.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: It's getting wet. The rain's hitting it, and it's just resting there.

SAM: Oh, it needs help.

LAURA: It needs help!

MARISHA: (laughs)

LIAM: You should definitely stick your hand out.

TRAVIS: Poor guy needs water.

LAURA: I know! (laughter)

ASHLEY: Aw, puppers.

LAURA: Little fairy, what can we do?

TALIESIN: Oh, I got an idea. Hold on, hold on. Just, just--

MARISHA: Oh, thank you. Come here, Pâté.

TALIESIN: I'm just going to-- I'm just going to--

TRAVIS: Smash it with a hammer. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Little bunny foo foo! (laughter)

ASHLEY: Glitter just (poof).

TALIESIN: Meet the good fairy. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm just going to-- Unzip a chunk of the-- I've got chunks that my little jumper can come off into, and I'm just going to try and make a little makeshift, tiny lean tent off one of the trees--

LAURA: Cute!

TALIESIN: -- that we're sitting on.

MARISHA: Little lean-to.

MATT: You mean right by your encampment?

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm setting it up. We were sitting at the edge of it. So I'm setting it off a little off to the side of our-- At a reasonable distance.

LIAM: You're making a fairy house like my daughter?

TALIESIN: I'm making a little fairy house, and then I'm backing off.

MARISHA: That's so cute.

TALIESIN: It's a little fairy tent.

MARISHA: He made it a fairy tent? That's the fucking cutest thing.

TALIESIN: I'm out of sleeves, yeah.

MATT: Did you put it outside of your camping space? Off to the side of your camping space? Closer to the creature? I'm trying to figure out where you put it.

TALIESIN: Oh, well, the creature's here. Our camping space is here. It's right there, like the next-- If you were reserving a camping space--

TRAVIS: Adjacent.

TALIESIN: A neighbor, yeah.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Same grill. Hmm?

LIAM: Are you within biting range?

TRAVIS: "Same grill." (laughs)

MATT: Are you within melee? No, okay, cool.

TALIESIN: Everyone's comfortable.

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Just trying to make a comfortable space.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Backing up.

MATT: As you go over and set it over there, the wings-- That light glows again. Go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw as well.

TRAVIS: Fail.

TALIESIN: This'll be funny.

TRAVIS: Fail.

MARISHA: He's going to crawl into your nostril.

TALIESIN: Oh no.

LAURA: Oh no.

TRAVIS: Say it.

TALIESIN: Natural 20.

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Damn it.

MARISHA: Wow.

SAM: Can't talk to us.

MARISHA: Too smart.

MATT: It feels like it's trying to reach out and communicate, but you fight it off.

SAM: We'll never--

MATT: It starts to withdraw.

SAM: Oh no!

LAURA: No!

SAM: We always roll too good.

MARISHA: (laughs) What the fuck?

TALIESIN: All the 20s we've ever had--

LAURA: Should I wake up Fearne? Maybe she can talk to it.

LAURA: Maybe she can understand it.

MATT: (fluttering)

LAURA: Wait, Fearne!

MARISHA: Wait, Fearne!

LAURA: Wait, Fearne, wait. There's a fairy.

ASHLEY: Whoa.

LAURA: You know what? Maybe Fearne has seen those kind of creatures before.

ASHLEY: What's happening?

MARISHA: We think there's a fairy or a pixie or a fey. He's got wings.

ASHLEY: Ah, bitches. (laughter)

ASHLEY: No, go back to bed. Leave it alone. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

TALIESIN: Huh.

ASHLEY: I just go back to sleep. (laughter)

MATT: Hell yeah.

TALIESIN: Fuck.

MATT: Hell yeah. (laughter)

MARISHA: All right.

TALIESIN: I feel like we should've learned something here. I just don't know what it is.

ASHLEY: No, I'm just kidding.

LIAM: Don't wake up Fearne is the lesson.

ASHLEY: What do you-- What? You guys actually saw a little-- A little something or other?

MARISHA: He was glowing. I felt like he was-- He was pulsing, and he was trying to communicate with me. But I feel like it could've been bad. But maybe it was good, I don't know. I actually have no idea.

MATT: You can faintly see the glow of it now, like 50, 60 feet away, just drawing--

SAM: Go get it.

TRAVIS: A small cry emanating from it. (sobs)

SAM: Go get it!

ASHLEY: Those are like rats, just-- (laughter)

TALIESIN: I'm taking my fucking sleeves back. (laughter)

TRAVIS: A rat.

MARISHA: The pizza rats of the Feywild.

ASHLEY: Sometimes-- Well, hold on. Let me do my fairy cry.

SAM: Oh.

ASHLEY: A-woo! A-woo! (laughter)

MATT: It stops. (laughter)

MATT: It does these little hops and--

TALIESIN: Is this the opening two bars to "Cannonball"?

ASHLEY: A-woo!

LAURA: Oh, it looks so cute.

MATT: It stops at about that 30-foot edge outside of the campsite. It's just there.

ASHLEY: Hey. What do you want? You trying to take our stuff?

MATT: It's just looking over in your direction.

LAURA: Does it only-- Are you speaking to in Fey?

ASHLEY: I'm going to go walk over.

MATT: Okay. You walk over towards it, trudging out, out of the top of the cliff side where the tree is, down into the space towards it. Go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw.

SAM: Come on. Come on, roll bad. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Okay, I did, eight.

MATT: Eight, okay.

LAURA: Uh-oh.

MATT: As you walk towards it, it--

MARISHA: This is so poetic.

MATT: Gives this pulse glow to it. The rest of you watch Fearne walk towards it and just walk past it and just keep walking.

LAURA: Uh-oh. Where is she going?

MATT: She's just walking away from camp.

TALIESIN: Whoa, now.

LAURA: Fearne, Fearne?

TALIESIN: I'm going to run in that direction.

LAURA: Can I reach out--

ASHLEY: I'm trying to get the--

MATT: The pulse hits you. You're-- You were supposed to go this way. You're supposed to go this way. You go into a light jog away from camp.

LAURA: Fearne, where are you going?

TALIESIN: I'm running, running full speed.

MATT: You run full speed?

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Towards her or towards the fairy?

TALIESIN: Towards her.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: I'm going around the fairy, whatever the fuck that was.

MATT: Okay. You go--

ASHLEY: Oops.

MATT: Running past it to get to--

TALIESIN: I'm fast, so I'm going to beeline. I'm like: Oh, fuck that thing. And run, yeah.

MATT: Okay, you run around.

LIAM: Guys, I think we call this a loss.

MATT: You catch up to Fearne, and Fearne's like jogging there for a second.

TALIESIN: Yo, yo, yo, yo. Whoa, whoa.

MATT: You stop at about-- From where you were, you go about 30 or so feet, and then you stop. You see her standing dazed.

TALIESIN: (whistles) Hey, hey.

MATT: You hear this strange tugging, slither sound.

LAURA: Uh-oh.

MATT: You glance over, and you see the fairy moving over to you. It's not jumping and flitting. It's just-- (slithers) You glance down, and you see, where the feet are, there is a tendril, some sort of a long snakelike vine. It pulses. I need you to make a wisdom saving throw.

SAM: A little angler fish situation.

LIAM: What are those fish with the little light?

ASHLEY: It's an angler.

LIAM: Angler?

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

TALIESIN: 18.

SAM: Oh.

MATT: 18. Once again, you feel it, and you put it aside. You see it still continue to withdraw. You see it pulls back slightly, the wings still doing this, but now that you're close up to it, you can see the features on it are kind of soft and vague. It looks like an approximation of what a fairy-type human would look like. As you watch it withdraw a bit and you see Fearne just standing there, the rest of the jungle floor and the vicinity around you, you see (slithers) drawing inward about 15 to 20 feet of vines and roots shifting about 15 to 20 feet of vines and roots shifting as one of the nearby trees was not a tree at all, but a large, 15-foot tall, crane-like plant creature with a heavy, sharpened beak and a whole mane of darkened red, blood-like color leaves, as these tentacle-type vines begin to unravel around and its mouth--

LAURA: Oh god.

MATT: Opens up, with a single vine-like lure glaring in front. And we're going to pick up there next week.

ALL: Oh!

MARISHA: ♪ Probably should have left it alone ♪

MATT: You guys almost did. I was like--

ASHLEY: We almost--

MATT: You almost did. It was withdrawing. It didn't catch anything from the sound. It was just pulling away.

LIAM: Yeah, we wanted to hit that button.

MARISHA and LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: It was a button! I was going to press it.

ASHLEY: We had to know.

MARISHA: A flashing button.

TALIESIN: Haven't pushed a button all day.

MATT: I rely on the button pushing.

LIAM: I like that, with a closer look, it had all the fine detail of a gummy bear.

MATT: Yeah, pretty much. (laughter)

TALIESIN: I would wander into a forest for a flying gummy bear. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, same. Done it before--

TRAVIS: It's not a gummy bear.

TALIESIN: Would do it again.

LAURA: That's not a gummy bear.

TRAVIS: It's not a gummy bear.

MATT: We'll pick up--

MARISHA: Aww.

MATT: We'll pick up at the top of whatever this is next time, in the middle of the rainy night--

LAURA: (groans)

MATT: -- deep in the jungle on the outskirts of the Heartmoor of the Oderan Wilds. Thank you all so much for joining us! (cheering)

MARISHA: Happy anniversary!

ALL: Happy anniversary!

MATT: Seventh anniversary. This is wild, it's magical, it's weird. I'm so excited that we all get to continue to take this weird journey together. Have a wonderful night to all of you watching at home, all of you watching in theaters. That's still wild. We love you very much, and is it Thursday yet? Good night. (cheering)