Critical Role and the Club of Misfits

is the twenty-fifth one-shot episode of Critical Role. Five students at the magical school of Schmogwarts escape detention and learn that they’re more than their 80s-themed archetypes!

Synopsis
Five Schmogwarts wizardry students — Ally, Claire, Andy, Bryan, and John Bunder — are in Saturday detention under the watchful eye of Professor Furbin. Furbin commands the students to write an essay about who they are. Soon after detention begins, Furbin is called away by an unseen person to attend to an "emergency." In Furbin's absence, the students hear a strange crying coming from behind the professor's office door. Upon inspection, they discover a bird cage filled with eight pixies who beg to be released. The students release the pixies who immediately attack them. A fight ensues, awakening an attacking plant in the process. Finally, the students succeed in defeating the pixies and the plant.

A conversation ensues, during which Claire appoints Bryan her ward. The students decide to try to sneak out of detention. Attempting to head down one corridor, they are met by a pair of talking paintings who report that their professor rushed away in the other direction quite a frightened hurry. The students agree to investigate and, soon after, find Beetle, a house elf, hiding in a dark classroom. Beetle begs them for help, revealing herself to be the one who called Furbin away earlier, and finally asking the students to meet her in the kitchen. Beetle confesses to having collected the pixies and some spiders for Professor Furbin, who is interested in magical beings, but something has gone wrong. Giant spiders have now come to reclaim the ones Beetle kidnapped.

The students descend through a hole in the kitchen floor which leads to a giant wizard chessboard. Almost immediately, they are attacked by giant spiders. A chess battle ensues between the students, the spiders, and both sides of the chessboard. During the battle, Bunder is knocked unconscious, but soon revived. Eventually, Claire makes the killing blow against the last remaining spider, spattering guts all over Ally. Ally promptly turns into a badger and tackles Claire in an effort to spread guts on her.

After the battle, Bryan attempts to cast command on Claire to make her grovel, but Claire reveals herself to have been humbled by the experience. The students share a brief moment of openness about their lives before Beetle shows up, urging them to return to their original classroom as quickly as possible. As they rush back, Bryan takes a tumble. Claire, having made Bryan her ward, invokes her ability to switch places with him. Eventually, they succeed in returning to their places before Professor Furbin returns, none the wiser. Bryan quickly writes and reads out an essay addressed to Professor Furbin about who they are, stating that they are "a brain, an athlete, a honey-badger, a princess, and a criminal" who are "pretty tits at killing spiders."

Player characters

 * John Bunder
 * Claire
 * Andy
 * Bryan
 * Ally

New

 * Furbin, professor of the Defense Against the Dark Farts
 * Eight doxies
 * Jolly-male talking portrait
 * Unnamed female talking portrait
 * Beetle
 * Several unnamed house elves.

Mentioned

 * Bumblesnore
 * McLoglilagh
 * Aragorg
 * Flapolisk

Trivia

 * This episode is a 5th edition D&D oneshot set in the universe of Harry Potter with the basic plot structure of The Breakfast Club.
 * Throughout the episode, Laura and the players improvise bastardizations of Harry Potter-specific names and places in order to avoid any legal ramifications.
 * Brian's inconsistent accent is a running gag throughout the episode.
 * Sam was essentially flying blind, claiming at various points throughout the episode to have no experience with either Harry Potter or The Breakfast Club beyond movie posters and Wikipedia.