Transcript:In Hot Water

List of Transcripts

Pre-Show
MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

LIAM: We play Dungeons & Dragons!

MATT: That was a good one, Liam. Well done. Before we get started on tonight's chaos-- because we've missed you guys these past two weeks. We had the fantastic all-honey Honey Heist in this place last week. Everyone did a great job on that one. Now we're back to see what's going to happen here. We left it a little chaotic last time. Before we get to that, we have some announcements to get through, starting with our fantastic returning sponsors of campaign two, D&D Beyond.

ALL: D&D Beyond!

MATT: Sam?

SAM: Yes. D&D Beyond tonight, guys, sent a lot of talking points. This is not a-- I'm happy. I'm happy to honor our sponsor and read all of these talking points, but it's a lot. So I'm not going to really do a bit as much as just read them. I had to spice it up a little bit. You guys all know that I'm a master of impersonations and impressions and I thought, who better to impersonate than the people right here at this table? So I won't be reading these talking points. Maybe Matt will!

LIAM: You typed this right in front of me!

SAM: Pax Unplugged is this-- I can't see! I didn't rehearse this! Pax Unplugged this weekend-- fuck! Pax Unplugged is this weekend, and D&D; Beyond will be there. So bring your siggles and long flowing hair because D&D Beyond will have tables set up outside of the Adventurers League gameplay area. Come and say hi! Oh, but take it away, Travis!

TRAVIS: Oh, wow.

SAM: I love sports games! And guess what? D&D Beyond will be running a roleplaying roulette one shot on the Pax main stage, which is kind of like football, hyuck hyuck! Marisha says, so like-- sorry. I don't have a good Marisha. So like, you can get more information about the one shot on unplugged.paxsite.com or whatever. I'm cool, I guess. It's weird being next to all these old guys from like the 80s or whatever.

MARISHA: I'll let that one fly, yeah.

SAM: Liam will take over.

ALL: Whoa!

LIAM: Time travel!

SAM: I can't read this!

TRAVIS: I'll remember this, Liam.

SAM: The one shot game description is: Want to know what happens when a group of D&D luminaries come together to play completely random characters? So do we. Come join the fun as players create characters at the table during the event, using D&D Beyond's randomize feature to improvise their way through a classic Dungeons & Dragons adventure. The event will be from 1:30 to 2:30 Eastern Time on Saturday. Aah! Next, and look, it's Sam Riegel! Hey, look at me, I need constant attention! Also, D&D Beyond launched their new show, Heroes of the Vale, this week! Join DM Mike Mearls, with players T.J. Storm, Todd Kenreck, Shelly Mazzanoble, and more in this new show set in the Nentir Vale! I'm an egomaniac! Laura has to add on to that--

LAURA: Oh god.

MARISHA: Oh god, why?

SAM: Oh, check out Heroes of the Vale-- why would she be British? Check out Heroes of the Vale every Wednesday at 2pm Pacific on twitch.tv/dndbeyond, and follow @DnDBeyond for more info. My dice addiction is becoming a problem! Finally, last but not least, Taliesin says--

TALIESIN: Bring it. I'm excited.

(cheering)

SAM: He says, Non bagno te, bagno il tuo cuore, che sempre piú tu mi possa amare. Semper parere D&D Beyond! He's a crazy figure from Greek legend!

TALIESIN: I have gained so much weight since that picture, good lord.

SAM: I hope that some of that was--

MATT: Wow. Thank you, Sam.

SAM: We'll also post this in text form somewhere because I don't think anyone was listening.

TRAVIS: There is some good stuff in there. We'll find a way.

SAM: There is great stuff and you should check it out.

MATT: The Heroes of the Vale thing is actually-- well, that's friend of the show, T.J. Storm. Todd Kenreck also. Mearls is amazing. I've had the opportunity to play with him a couple times, and he's a fantastic DM. Super excited they're actually putting that show together.

SAM: Check them out at Pax Unplugged this weekend.

MATT: Yes. Oh, and Shelly's in there too. That's right. Awesome. Check that out. All right. Thank you, Sam.

SAM: Sure, sure.

MATT: Also, while we're on the topic of Sam, you can check out Sam's recent fireside chat we had earlier this week.

TRAVIS: And his thighs.

MATT: He did have his thighs. It was unlocked because of your guys' fantastic contributions to Pablove's charity that we ran this past month or two ago. You can check it out now at youtube.com/criticalrole. Through the month of November, we're still raising money for Travis' favorite charity, Operation Supply Drop.

TRAVIS: Operation Supply Drop! Yes. Operation Supply Drop supports military members and their families-- active duty and veterans-- and their transition back into civilian life. They are a fantastic charity. Love to all of our brothers and sisters in the Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force, US Coast Guard, all of the branches. We've got so much love for you guys. We have already reached our goal, but you still have time to donate. You can get all of the details at critrole.com/osd. Very soon we will have a first-person shooter with me either doing very well or really sucking and screaming like a little girl. Please donate, share, tell your friends and family. It's almost the end of November and giving love to all of our brothers and sisters in the armed forces.

MATT: Thank you for that.

SAM: Woo, Travis!

MATT: Another fun thing. We've teamed up with our good friend, Patrick Rothfuss, and his fantastic charity, Worldbuilders, to create a special set of Vox Machina single-use buff cards that can be used for your own home games. I ask all you dungeon masters out there, if one of your players brings one of these to the table, to the best of your ability, please allow the one use the card allows because, if not, you hate charitable things, and you're a terrible person. They paid good money to help good people to use these cards. If your DM won't let you, you let me know.

ALL: Whoa.

LAURA: Roll an intimidation check.

TALIESIN: Does the DM get to keep the ticket if you spend it? Is the question.

MATT: An eight. That's on par for me, I think.

TRAVIS: Not higher than 15.

MATT: Not high enough for me. I'm not an intimidating sort.

MARISHA: You lead with your heart.

MATT: Yeah. Persuasion I can do. For an example, we have the Grog card, where a player of any character can rage once during a combat, regardless of their class, as you want to.

TRAVIS: (as Grog) Yeah, you've got a rage.

MATT: Or we have the Vex card, allows you a charisma boost to a persuasion check because you wink, and it improves it dramatically. For every $10 you donate, you'll be entered to win one of these cards. All proceeds go to the Heifer Foundation, who provide long-term solutions for people in need in ways that help those individuals prosper and in turn support their communities. For more info, and to donate and be a part of this, check out http://bit.ly/wbdnd. One more time, you can put in bit.ly/wbdnd.

TRAVIS: W-B-D-N-D.

TALIESIN: Wih-bih-dib-n-dum.

MATT: Exactly. Excited to be working with Patrick on that. I think you had another announcement. Do you want to make it for us?

LAURA: Oh, I do! Look at the store on Monday. There's going to be some stuff going up!

MARISHA: What stuff?

LAURA: There's some stuff, but this is one of them! I wanted to tease you guys. Oh, it's our official Tusk Love notebook, with art lovingly done by @OrcBarbies on Twitter. Yeah. I am in love with this.

MARISHA: So good.

LAURA: So in love with this. Carry around your own fabulous romance novel! Then make your own notes in it.

SAM: That is so cool.

MATT: The author's pretty cool too.

SAM: Is that Jester on the cover?

LAURA: Of course it is!

TRAVIS: Who's the gentleman?

LAURA: A beautiful Oskar. Oskar and Jester!

SAM: Wait, who does it say it was written by?

LAURA: It says it was written by Matilda Merceria!

SAM: That's his pen name.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: I love it.

MATT: Well, thank you for that. Excited to see that go up.

LAURA: I might use that tonight.

MATT: I think that's all we have for our announcements, so with that, my friends--

ALL: No!

MATT: Let's jump in to tonight's episode of Critical Role.

[TV static, click] [groovy Critical Role theme]

Part I
MATT: Welcome back, everyone.

TRAVIS: Just your mouth. Just your mouth. You had two noses.

MATT: Oh, I had two noses? There we go. That's much better. Thank you, Sam, for that nightmare fuel.

LAURA: Why do I have so many teeth?

SAM: I thought it would look weird.

MATT: All right. Last we left off, the Mighty Nein had allied themselves with Captain Avantika of the Squalleater, a pirate making her way through the Swavain Islands in search of ways to unlock this entity that she was fanatically obsessed with, this Uk'otoa, which was revealed to be the patron to Fjord's abilities. After retrieving one of these sought-after orbs from this long-reused temple by the snake folk on the island, and apparently unlocking one of these seals, you made your way back to Darktow on her ship, did a bit of piracy. Arrived, were introduced to the Plank King, who looks over the Revelry, the band of pirates that helm this side, pardon me, of the Lucidian Ocean. You then decided to have a plan to break into the Squalleater at night while everyone was at rest, or some of you at rest. Some were distracting the captain. In doing so, you managed to uncover a well-hidden journal of Avantika that was written in some sort of a cipher.

LAURA: Kind of like the journal?

MATT: Kind of like the journal. Didn't quite look like that, but artistic interpretation. Your entrance was solid. Your exit left a couple of signs of disturbance, but nothing implicating. You returned, and through the evening and the luck of a ridiculous roll, you managed to, via Caleb, break the cipher on it, after knowing what information was there through your spell, and write a cipher to allow anybody to read the contents of this journal and see what's within. However, the morning in which you awoke, you discovered that the crew, at least, had seemed to have noticed all these strange events through the night. The ransacked chamber pointed to some tomfoolery. You were all asked to make your way to the shipyard to meet with Avantika and the crew on the Squalleater. With not far behind you on the docks the rest of the crew of the Mistake being brought as well. Upon you stepping up and encountering this moment of tension, it seems that, through Vera's glance through some form of divination magic, while some people have guarding objects or items against themselves being sought through divination, certain objects in pockets are not free of it. They glanced over in Caleb's direction, and in that moment, you cast Wall of Fire. Before we get too far into this, I need you to place your Wall of Fire for me, please, on this battlefield.

TRAVIS: Take your time, take your time.

SAM: What can it do? Can it go up things?

LIAM: 20 feet tall. I can choose which side the wall burns, 10-feet reach, and which side does not.

LAURA: Ooh, that's good. That's good.

SAM: This is going to be hard on the boat.

TRAVIS: Take your time, take your time. The longer you take--

LIAM: This table can't bear my weight.

LAURA: It can too, because we all got on the table for Sam's one shot.

SAM: Now available on YouTube, guys.

MATT: Okay, while you're doing this, I'm going to put this up there, now the announcements are complete.

LIAM: I don't know how I would make it go on an angle without causing problems.

TRAVIS: We'll just assume it covers that, right? Yeah.

MATT: Yeah, best you can.

LIAM: Best I can.

TALIESIN: Oh sweet Jesus.

MATT: Oh, you're creating a U?

SAM: Is that possible?

LIAM: Well, this isn't what I imagined in my head, but we are standing where we are standing, so I'm going with what I see.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Yeah. I dig it.

LIAM: Okay, I want that to go like that, but it's not going.

SAM: The whole show is just this.

MATT: This is it. This is the entire thing.

LAURA: Oh my lord.

TRAVIS: It's actually really cool looking.

LIAM: I would like the last one to be on this gentleman.

MATT: Okay. We'll place it here.

LIAM: Leaving room to get to this gangway, but he's burning and that's going like this.

MATT: We'll say that he is currently--

SAM: Ablaze.

LIAM: Facing this to there, also allowing access to both the gangplanks--

(clattering, laughter)

MATT: That was amazing.

TRAVIS: That was the best thing that could have happened!

MATT: All righty. Meticulous placement be damned.

TALIESIN: Someone's getting Velcro in their stocking.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: I can't make them stick, man!

MATT: It's fine. Liam, leave it. Leave it alone! You've lost miniature privileges.

TRAVIS: He was there too. He was there.

MATT: In the final moment-- we lost one of them up top, too.

LIAM: Fucking real D&D;, people. It went better in rehearsal.

MATT: Sure. That'll do.

LIAM: We all know-- I'm not going to touch it-- the gangplanks are open.

SAM: We lost a guy on top. Wasn't there a guy on top?

TRAVIS: He's right here behind Avantika.

LIAM: That's right. He's just out of your line of sight.

MATT: Perfect. Now meticulously, carefully placed to not waste anyone's time. At that moment, you all, noticing this moment of tension, there's a flash from Caleb's hands. Figures, their eyes dart in his direction as he finishes releasing his arms and firing out of the actual deck of the ship, you see a 20-foot tall high wall of roaring flame and fire burn around in a U-shape encompassing the exterior. You can feel the heat on you, but it's not so intense as to hurt. However, I need you to roll damage.

LIAM: It's a ten-foot reach on the outside of this thing.

MATT: Correct. That's 5d8 fire damage, if you don't mind.

TRAVIS: On the burn side?

LIAM: On the outside. I choose the side, so clearly I'm not going to burn us.

TRAVIS: Anyone within ten feet of the outside gets 5d8?

MARISHA: That's fucking rad. Kill some bitches.

TRAVIS: I don't know why I didn't expect it to be that amazing.

LIAM: Shit! Bad rolls. 17 total.

SAM: That's fine. That's a good start.

MATT: That's a success for the dwarf over there. He takes--

LIAM: A one, a two, and a three were the first three rolls.

MATT: That's a shame. Eight damage for him. For Bouldergut, that is a failure.

LIAM: Also to toss out: the flames are opaque, so they cannot be seen through.

MATT: Mm-hmm. 17 for Bouldergut. To the guy it got put on directly, that's a failure on his point. He takes a full 17 points of damage. The guy who's guarding the other plank there, that's a failure on him. He takes 17. Avantika fails with a natural one. Avantika takes a full 17. Then we have the guy over there. He fails with a three. He takes another 17. Then Vera rolls a natural 20. Vera's right there. Vera takes eight. Now that the Wall of Fire is in place, crackling around you, blackening the surface of the deck, the roaring of its sound as it (whooshing), roll initiative, please.

TRAVIS: Advantage for Yasha.

MATT: I pre-rolled initiative for the guys here to keep it going. 25 to 20?

MARISHA: Hang on. 24.

MATT: All right. 20 to 15, anybody?

TRAVIS: Yasha has a 15.

LAURA: Oh, I'm 19.

MATT: We have Jester and Yasha.

LAURA: Wait. Beau, Jester, Yasha?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

SAM: That's great.

MATT: 15 to ten?

TALIESIN: 12.

TRAVIS: 11 for Fjord.

MATT: Fjord at 11.

TALIESIN: 12.

TRAVIS: Beau, Jester, Yasha, Caduceus, Fjord.

MATT: All right. Ten to five?

LIAM: Eight.

TRAVIS: How do you spell your name, Caleb? That's right.

LAURA: I'm so nervous! What are our names?

SAM: Oh, shoot! I'm a nine. I didn't say, sorry.

LAURA: You're above Caleb. Thanks for fucking up everyone's list.

SAM: Sorry. I'm nervous, guys!

MATT: That's all right. Top of the combat round, as the flames are crackling around, you hear screams from crewmen that are too close and having to pull back and someone starts shouting "Fire!" off to the side, from this side of the docks. Beau, you're up first. What are you doing?

TRAVIS: I can see your pulse in your neck.

MARISHA: Can you? I'm dying! I might be having a heart attack! Beau reaches around, and scuffles around to Caleb and goes: Give me the notebook! I'm sticking with the plan!

SAM: Okay!

LAURA: Are you going to grab it from him?

MARISHA: Yes! I'm going to grab it from you.

LIAM: Okay. It's wedged into my belt. Yeah, okay.

MARISHA: Then I look at Jester.

TRAVIS: This is the most precarious Operation game ever.

MATT: Isn't it, though? That's fine. That'll work.

MARISHA: I can't hold a movement, right?

MATT: No. Only an action.

MARISHA: Was taking the book an action?

MATT: I'll say running up to him and then going, "Give me the book," him rummaging through it or you helping him rummage through and grab it? I'll consider that an action because that takes a few seconds to do. It's not something he had ready. You've moved 15 feet to get over there and then your action.

MARISHA: How far away is Jester from me now?

MATT: Jester was right next to you when you started.

MARISHA: I run back to Jester.

MATT: That's another 15 feet. That's 30 foot of your movement.

MARISHA: I say: Let's get out of here.

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: That's my turn.

MATT: Okay. That finishes Beau's go. Avantika's up next.

MARISHA: Oh, I could have done Patient Defense! I should have done it!

TRAVIS: She can't see in here, I think.

MATT: She cannot see, but what she can do is Control Water.

SAM: Oh!

MATT: Seeing this flames happen, she (groans), pulls back, closes her eyes for a second, and raises her scarred hand where the sphere that she unlocked Uk'otoa with raised up. At that point, the water from the ocean begins to rise--

LIAM: Counterspell.

MATT: All right. It's a 4th-level spell, so I need you to roll.

LIAM: I know, and it's at disadvantage. (gasps)

MARISHA: What did you get?!

LIAM: I rolled a 14 and a 19! She fails!

MATT: She does!

(cheering and laughter)

TRAVIS: Look at the veins! Oh my god!

SAM: That was two weeks of tension being released.

TRAVIS: Orgasms all under the table right now!

MATT: Holy shit! You watch as the ocean begins to swell upwards. Avantika raises her arm-- but you said the walls are opaque. Can you see through the walls?

LIAM: Can I hear her go (arcane chanting)?

MATT: Make a perception check.

(groaning)

SAM: This is a fair point.

LIAM: Oh, natural 20 and a 16, plus perception-- The lowest roll was a 19.

LAURA: I like that you don't know where your perception is right now.

LIAM: I never do.

MATT: Yeah, it doesn't require you to have seen the person. You know the spell's happening, you know the direction of the person. You rolled a high enough perception. I'll allow it. As you hear her chanting beneath her breath and you hear the wave rising, you glance over in the direction and you, having an instinctual affinity with flames and fire, can barely see the darkened shape of her on the opposite side of the flames being warped by the light. Using that moment, you put your hand forward and release the destructive pattern of your Counterspell. With that, the swelling ocean splatters back down to the surface.

TRAVIS: Oh my god. Now you can die happy.

MATT: As that happens you hear her go, "Merde!" and she begins to back up over to here onto the side and starts shouting, "Vera!" That's going to end her turn, because that was her action.

TRAVIS: I wonder how many times she can do that.

MATT: Jester.

LAURA: Okay. I remember we went to the Plank King and we took the path to get to him. How far away is the base of his mountain? His stairs?

MATT: From where you are right now? It's probably somewhere between 1200 and 1500 feet, maybe?

LAURA: Okay. Can I get 500 feet on the path to there with Dimension Door? I grab Beau around the waist and say: Come with me! I cast Dimension Door. Ten feet above the ground. I say: Get ready to land! So I don't land on a person.

MARISHA: So considerate of you.

TALIESIN: Wow, this is a look.

MATT: Beau and Jester vanish from sight in a puff of purplish-pink smoke. They both are gone. That's your action.

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: You suddenly find yourself appearing in the center of the cobblestone street, with The Bloated Cup maybe about two or three blocks up that way on the familiar path you know that you took, hooking around the side that led you to the Throne Roost.

LAURA: Oh my gosh.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

MATT: You also do notice now that there are some folks and some of The Revelry watch that are now glancing over at the very bright inferno that is this beacon of flame over there in the shipyard. You appear out of nowhere and there's two of them that look over in your direction, noticing you appear. That's all. That's all that happens. You still have your movement and your bonus.

LAURA: I'm going to start moving towards-- yeah? Okay. I start moving towards the Plank King.

MARISHA: I'll catch up with you.

MATT: Okay. Good to know. That finishes Jester's go. Yasha's up.

TRAVIS: Yasha. What is she doing again? Wow, my brain is so scrambled.

TALIESIN: I know, it's hard to think right now.

MATT: You're down two party members in the middle of a U of flames.

TRAVIS: Yeah. She's over here, right? Is this her? Okay.

MATT: That's two hours of online research about Control Water and Wall of Fire and interactions completely mute. That is awesome.

LIAM and MATT: Good game.

TRAVIS: We're getting the fuck out, right?

MATT: What are you doing, Yasha?

TRAVIS: Yasha is going to use her movement to run off. She would like to-- Is she raging?

MATT: If she doesn't make an attack and isn't attacked, she loses her rage.

TRAVIS: She will use her movement to head towards the side of the ship and try to exit the craft, and let's see how far we get.

MATT: Okay. She scoots by the one guy who's currently-- so that'd be (counting) 35 right there.

TRAVIS: And 40 is her speed.

MATT: So she can get there. As she swings by, the one guy that's currently in the wall of fire is like, "Shit!" He glances out of the corner of his eye and sees her go by and he gets one attack of opportunity swinging at her as she streaks through the space. That's going to be a 15 to hit.

TRAVIS: Ugh, it hits.

MATT: Okay. In an errant backhand swing-- she's got meaty hit points, though. That's going to be eight points of slashing damage to Yasha as she rushes past.

TRAVIS: Great. She will use her bonus action to rage.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Yep. That will be her turn.

MATT: She's not going to do anything with her action? She can dash with her action and move again if you're trying to get her to move.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah, double dash. Yeah, I'm sorry. A little frazzled.

MATT: 40. What's her movement?

TRAVIS: 40 and bonus to rage.

MATT: All right. As she charges past, that guard sees her running and goes, "Wait!" There's a huge distraction now. This person here who saw all of a sudden the flames erupt who was part of Avantika's crew, one of the crew members, is going to take an attack of opportunity at her as well as she runs past. She is raging, though, so she takes half damage. Ooh, that's going to be a 21 to hit.

TRAVIS: Hits.

MATT: She takes another eight damage, but it's reduced to four. That finishes Yasha's go. Caduceus, you're up.

TALIESIN: Okay. I just saw that we are running, apparently.

MATT: You see Yasha run past you. You look over and you watch as Beau and Jester (blink). They're gone.

TALIESIN: Well, okay. Let's see. I'm going to follow Yasha, because that's apparently the way-- how much distance can I cover? How close to her can I get?

MATT: We'll find out. Movement 30 if you're rushing past her.

TALIESIN: Is there an easier way off or is that the easiest way off the boat?

MATT: There are three ways off the boat. There's either this gangplank, which is closer to you, this gangplank, which is further from you but generally will meet the same distance, or jumping in the water.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah. Whichever way gets me closer to her quickly.

TRAVIS: You're such a fan of the water, though, Taliesin.

TALIESIN: I'm learning.

MATT: (counting) 30 gets you halfway on the plank there.

TALIESIN: Okay, I'll take that other 30 for now, then.

MATT: (counting) 30. You're right behind Yasha. That character does not get an attack of opportunity on you because they already used their reaction to hit Yasha.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm going to hold there for now.

MATT: Okay, that finishes your turn. Now it's Fjord. Aside from Avantika, the rest of them rolled piss-poor initiative, which is to your advantage.

TRAVIS: Okay. Fjord is going to-- Am I standing right next to Caleb?

MATT: You are currently, yes. As far as Wall of Fire goes, I'm checking the damage on that, is that at the top of their turn?

LIAM: Are you asking-- Oh you're asking me.

MATT: Oh, at the end of each turn.

LIAM: If they end their turn or the first time it hits them...

MATT: First time they enter it. Got you, okay, good to know. So if they don't leave that area--

LIAM: When it enters the wall for the first time on a turn or ends its turn there.

MATT: Got you. All right, cool. Thank you.

TRAVIS: I am going to use my movement to make sure that I walk up and put a hand on Caleb's shoulder. I'm going to hold Thunder Step until Nott moves.

MATT: You are going to begin casting Thunder Step...

TRAVIS: But look at Nott and wait.

MATT: You're readying it as a spell?

TRAVIS: Readying it as a spell, yeah. The second he moves--

MATT: To trigger the instant Nott moves. You've got it. Okay.

LIAM: Moves or clears the--

TRAVIS: If he moves, yeah.

MATT: Got you. He said moves. All right, that finishes your go, now it's Bouldergut's turn. Bouldergut, angry about the flames goes (angry groan). Looking aback, batting at them a little bit with her arm, goes and steps through the wall. She takes the damage again. Roll another 5d8. That is going to step into the space where the flames are no longer touching her and on the outside it's not burning.

LIAM: 24 that time.

MATT: Yeah, they don't get a saving throw by walking through it. She takes your damage. What's the damage?

LIAM: 24.

MATT: Bouldergut comes through singed. You see it as bits of her hair are curled up and red at the tips from where elements of it have turned to ember and takes a giant swing with her two-handed great club at you.

LIAM: That's going to hit.

MATT: Yeah, that is. That's a 23 to hit.

LIAM: Absolutely.

MATT: All right, so with that, that's 15 points of bludgeoning damage. Make a constitution save.

LIAM: It's a ten right, because it's half.

MATT: It's half or ten, whichever is higher. So, constitution saving throw.

LIAM: At disadvantage.

MATT: Only ability checks are at disadvantage, not saving throws.

LIAM: Oh, saving throw? Well I rolled twice.

MATT: Just roll one more time.

LIAM: Straight, because they were both pretty good. Natural 20.

(relieved cheering)

MATT: Fantastic. She swings with her second attack. That is 19 to hit.

LIAM: Hits, yeah.

MATT: That-- Ooh. 17 points of damage. Another DC10, make another constitution saving throw.

LIAM: That's balls. That is just a seven.

MATT: The flames flicker out as your concentration is abruptly broken by the ogre that stepped through the fire wall and twice bashed-- Ford and Caleb right there.

SAM: All plans go wrong guys. It's okay, it's okay.

MARISHA: It's, you know-- We anticipated this.

SAM: We've still got two clerics... somewhere in the world.

MATT: That ends Bouldergut's turn. Now that comes to Nott and Vera going at the same time in the same initiative count. You have a higher dexterity than Vera, so I'm letting you go first.

SAM: Nott is going to stick with the plan and run towards that gangplank and get out of dodge.

MATT: Five, ten, 15. You're triggering your...

TRAVIS: Thunder Step.

MATT: Thunder Step. 15. Are you going down the gangplank?

SAM: Yeah, as soon as I crest it, when I get up there, they're gone by that point, right?

MATT: So, what do you do now? You do...

TRAVIS: 3d10 damage and we--

MATT: In what radius?

TRAVIS: Within ten feet.

MATT: Within ten feet? That will get Bouldergut. It won't get anybody else. After slamming her club twice into Caleb, you're holding his shoulder as the impact is causing him to nearly crumple against you. You lift him up under the arm right as the spell finishes and (thunder crack).

TRAVIS: 18 points of thunder damage and Caleb and I will disappear and reappear 90 feet in the direction of the base of the hill.

MATT: You are over here. All right.

SAM: Who's still on the ship?

MATT: With a loud, heavy burst of thunder, impacts--

SAM: It's just me now, right?

MATT: Crackling through the air surrounding the shipyard. With that, both Caleb and Fjord vanish and reappear across the distance, landing on the creaking wood of the old rickety dock. Hearing the footsteps behind you of Caduceus and Yasha trying to catch up, the guard all looking confused at what's transpiring, and a little ways down the way you can see there's about five or six other guards that are walking alongside the rest of the crew of The Mistake that are all stopping and seeing what's going on here. That's the end of your go. You still have 15 feet of movement.

SAM: Yeah, I will-- Nott will continue to run down that-- Sorry, no. She gets to the top of the gangplank, she's going to turn around and nail Vera with a bolt.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: That's so punk rock.

MATT: Roll for an attack.

SAM: I don't think it's sneak attack or anything.

MATT: It's not.

SAM: It's only a 12. No, 14 to hit.

MATT: 14? You needed a 15. Yeah, that Mage Armor manages to deflect it.

SAM: All right, well then I'll just keep running down the plank and then use bonus action to dash another 30 feet.

MATT: All right, you're right before Yasha. With that, Vera is going to take her turn. Vera steps up the side (counting) 30 and is now up on the top of the ship glancing over as everyone charges past. She raises her arm, "Come, great serpent of the sea!" and she raises her hand above and brings her fingers together into a fist as she brings it down slowly like there's force against her fist. You watch as this white cloud begins to appear and hailstone-like shards of ice begin to pelt down onto the dock below into this radius right here. It does manage to get the guard as well.

TALIESIN: I was going to say, they're going to hit the guard.

MARISHA: Good. Going to piss that guard off.

MATT: What that does is it also turns this area into rough terrain until the end of her next turn. He is there. You guys are all here.

LIAM: Does the cloud remain in the sky?

MATT: The cloud has vanished now.

LIAM: Okay, so it was a one time.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: However, I need you all to make... Here we go. It's an Ice Storm spell. Dexterity saving throw from the three of you please. If you don't mind.

SAM: 19 for me.

MATT: Success for you.

TALIESIN: 20 for me.

MATT: Success for you, and roll for Yasha as well if you don't mind.

TRAVIS: What am I rolling?

ALL: Dexterity save.

TRAVIS: She gets advantage on those.

SAM: I've never seen Travis this nervous before.

TRAVIS: I'm so flustered.

TALIESIN: My heart is fucking racing right now. I am not okay.

TRAVIS: That's 11 for Yasha.

MATT: Yasha fails. Yasha takes 22 points of cold damage. That's 11 points to Caduceus and Nott. Although none to you because you succeeded and you have evasion, so you take none.

SAM: Is that how that works? Wow, cool!

MATT: That's what rogues can do! Yeah, whenever you have to make a dex save against an effect, take half damage. If you succeed, you take no damage. If you fail, you take half. You should read your character sheet.

TRAVIS: Can I do fanatical focus?

MATT: Yes you may.

TRAVIS: I'm going to do the fanatical focus once per day.

MATT: So you get to re-roll that. Once.

TRAVIS: 19 plus two is 21.

MATT: Okay, so she only takes 11. However everything in this, for the next round, is difficult terrain as there's now giant hailstones and sleet slicked all over the rickety docks.

SAM: Is it half movement?

MATT: Yes.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: That's going to end Vera's go. Now it comes to Caleb.

LIAM: Oh yeah, okay.

MATT: Hanging over here on the side.

LIAM: Are there any crates or anything around on the dock that look lift-able from Catapult?

MATT: There are two chests off to the side there.

LIAM: Okay, if they look light enough, I will throw one up into the air at Avantika's head.

MATT: Okay, go for the roll on that.

SAM: Throw ice?

MATT: He's throwing one of the chests over here.

SAM: Oh, one of the chests.

LIAM: No. I am going instead to cast Expeditious Retreat on myself and at the same time change the focus on my transmuter stone to a constitution buff. That's it. I'm going to jet back 90 feet. SAM: 90 feet?! MATT: You dart forward across-- the guards that are there watching this happen with the rest of the crew of The Mistake, you zip past them in this blur, Flash-like entity. They all get pushed back from the impact as you push through. All right. That finishes your turn. Now it's the guards. The guards-- TALIESIN: Did that guard take damage? MATT: That guard did take damage. TALIESIN: Okay. MATT: He's looking real rough. He's going to back up out of the middle of the sleet and make his way this way. He looks dazed and is trying to figure out what's going on and where to ally himself with. You guys go running off the side as the flames are down. They're going to give chase. This guard's going to rush up here and this guy's going to rush up here. They're not attacking, but they're coming out towards you and saying, "Stop! Stop! Halt!" They're shouting towards you guys to stop. The rest of the guards are going to push forward and start making their way up this direction and they're starting to-- They're now catching up. Four of them are going up towards Fjord and one of them is going back towards Caleb. They're starting to gather and they're putting up their hands like: do not flee. They're not talking yet, but you see their physicality is like, we don't know what's happening but don't you go anywhere. TRAVIS: Yeah, no, I wouldn't dream of it. MATT: That ends their go. It's now Ipess' turn. As a bonus action, he's going to hide and move underneath and around the rocks to this side and he's going to pull around from the corner with his hand crossbow and take a shot at Caduceus from behind. Caduceus, what's your passive perception? TALIESIN: My passive perception is 18. MATT: 18, okay. You do notice him out of the corner of your eye just barely, so he is not hidden from you. This means he does not get sneak attack damage or advantage on the attack. That is still a natural 20 on this hit. TALIESIN: Is he within 30 feet of me? Wait, no! I can cast this on myself, can't I? MATT: Which one? TALIESIN: Can I cast-- Let me take a look really quick if I can do this. Sentinel. Can I cast Sentinel on myself? MATT: What does it say? What's the wording? TALIESIN: As a reaction, when you or a creature you can see within 30 feet-- MATT: When you or a creature? TALIESIN: Oh yeah! MATT: Then yeah! TALIESIN: So none of that. MATT: You channel divinity to prevent the critical. It is now a regular hit. Fantastic. You take three points of piercing damage. It sticks into your shield and grinds inside and actually hits a little bit of the forearm, but you manage to deflect most of the impact and bolt gets caught in the center of there, mostly no damage to you.

TALIESIN: (nervous laugh) Cool.

MATT: One of the guards turns and looks towards Ipess-- Actually both of these guards turn and glance over and having this moment of not entirely certain which side to go with.

TALIESIN: I am looking irritated at the guards at this.

MATT: That ends there. It's now the rest of the crew's turn. He's going to come to the side there, this one's going to move over to this side there, this guy's going to run across, this one's going to move over here, and this half orc's going to go and hide in there.

SAM: Don't forget our crow's nest guy.

MATT: With that, we've got some heavy crossbow action from this guy and this guy. Caleb is out of range of both of them unfortunately. Both of these guys right here, I'm going to roll four attacks. One of them is going to be heavy crossbow to Fjord, because Fjord is still within-- Oh no, it's a 400-foot range for the next one.

SAM: 400 feet?!

MATT: Yeah, heavy crossbow. With 100 feet, you're going to be within the disadvantage range increment but those things are going to fire at you, Caleb. Since you're the one that's the furthest away.

TALIESIN: Caleb is not within 30 feet of me either, is he?

MATT: No.

TALIESIN: Just checking.

MATT: He does have disadvantage on the attack though. That is a 16 and a 13 naturally.

LIAM: It hits.

MATT: Plus four, it's going to be 17.

LIAM: My AC is 11.

LAURA: Whoa, that's really low.

MATT: That is nine points of piercing damage to you.

LIAM: Oh, I have nine hit points.

MATT: Are you serious?

LIAM: Yeah. I'm out.

MATT: Caleb (thud). As he darts past, this bolt streaks past, (impact noise) in the back and with the momentum of his running, he crumples into the ground and tumbles and skids to a halt in the middle-- You're watching this, Fjord, as this happens. The other one up here at the top of the crow's nest, is going to take a shot at Nott, actually. You are within the 100-foot range. That's still a natural two, so it misses you. It splinters the wood right next to your foot as you step out of the way. Shards of wood go flying from the impact and the heavy bolt, about that long, is jammed at an angle into the planks before you. This one here and this one are both going to take heavy crossbow shots. One's at Caduceus and one's at Yasha, so the most visible. Against Caduceus-- oh, man, they're rolling terrible now. That's a six.

TALIESIN: I'm not even going to dignify that.

MATT: Yeah. Yasha, however, does get hit with a 17, I believe. Right?

TALIESIN: Travis? Yes.

TRAVIS: What, sorry?

MATT: Yasha takes eight points of piercing damage. 17 to hit, eight points reduced to four.

TRAVIS: Got it.

MATT: This guy here has a hand crossbow. You are then in disadvantage range. He's going to take another shot at Caduceus with disadvantage. No, that's another six.

TALIESIN: He ain't going to be hitting me.

MATT: Okay, that's the end of the crewmen there. That's the end of the combat round. These people, seeing all the fighting, are going to duck into their ship and hide. This team on this end, they all move out of the way but they're keeping an eye, over the side, of what's happening. Top of the combat round: Beau and Jester. You appear, Beau, in the middle of this chaos. Flames behind you. You hear a thunderous blast, that echoes from behind. You glance over, you look forward, Jester's already running in the direction. You're on the rough and tumble rock and elements of cobblestone that have long worn off and not been replaced. In front of you, a little ways up ahead, you can see the tavern.

MARISHA: The tavern?

MATT: The Bloated Cup.

MARISHA: I want to go around and I want to go straight towards the Plank King.

MATT: Okay, so you full run?

MARISHA: I go: Jester, I'll see you there! I dart by, and I also want to burn a ki point to do Step of the Wind and run my full 135-foot movement towards--

MATT: In doing so, you make it all the way up. The street's there, and there's buildings on each side. To the front right of you--this perspective for you on this side is where you see the tavern. There are folks out there morning drinking, like, "Whoa." Watch you whiz past. You make your way up the street a little further and there are a few town guards that are looking over towards the inn, the sound, and all the craziness happening, and they notice you approaching and they all instinctively begin to go into a phalanx. They all go shoulder-to-shoulder and they're now blocking off the road from your continual passage. No weapons drawn, but in the midst of all this, they see crazy stuff happening and the one person darting at an inhuman speed away from it, and their instinct is to go, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's figure this out." They're not aggressive yet. That's your turn?

MARISHA: Can I say anything?

MATT: I'd say this happens at the very end of your turn. You're running, running, running, all of a sudden you stop right as they (clanking) right there in front of you. We'll pick that up next turn.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: That brings us to Avantika's go. All right. Oh, man. Okay. Avantika is going to leap down off the side of the ship. Acrobatics check.

TRAVIS: And slip on the ice.

MATT: No, it's just difficult terrain.

TRAVIS: Just kidding. Wishful thinking!

MATT: I will say, it would increase the DC for her landing, I'll give you that. But she did roll an 18 on her acrobatics check.

TRAVIS: Yeah, that's pretty good.

MATT: Leaping down, lands right in front of Nott. Skids down, lands a few inches back before coming to a stop. The ice grinds at the back of her foot and creates this little pile where the momentum eventually stops, holding her rapier in one hand and the dagger in the other, looking down at you, Nott, goes, "Ah, you should not have crossed me." She's going to take three strikes at you, two with her rapier and one with her dagger. The dagger, you can see now, is-- You've seen it a little bit in the battles. You were in dark spaces so it was hard to make a real, distinguishing visual of it, but out here in the open air, as she's clutching the dagger aggressively, there's a faint black energy faintly drifting off the edge of the blade. The attack with the rapier, first one-- natural four, no, it's going to miss you. Natural three. Both rapier shots, nothing. The dagger, however, that's going to be a 17 to hit.

SAM: That hits.

MATT: Okay. She's rolling real bad. As the two rapier shots, you dodge out of the way, but she uses that to feint forward and jam the blade up into the front of your stomach and rib cage area. That is going to be nine points of piercing damage and an additional eight points of necrotic damage.

SAM: Uncanny dodge!

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Does that halve both of those?

MATT: Yeah, it would halve both from the attack, so take eight points of damage. You manage to push away with your momentum, the blade doesn't sink quite as deep, and you, grabbing the wrist preventing it from really coming to the hilt in your chest, you pull away. That's going to end her turn. She shouts over her shoulder and goes, "Vera, we need friends!" Jester, your turn.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: You saw Beauregard dart up past you.

LAURA: Is there an alley near me?

MATT: If you look a little bit ahead of you, around each of the buildings that are right in front of you, there are alleys that curve around that would eventually meet in the road that you guys are currently running down.

LAURA: Anywhere where I can duck and cast Disguise Self really fast?

MATT: Yes, but you'd have to move up. You probably wouldn't be able to get to an alley to do it this turn. There are people around. There are folks that are watching all this chaos happen off in the distance.

LAURA: Okay, then I'm going to shout: Avantika is attacking people on the island! She's trying to upstage the Plank King! Everybody go see now!

MATT: Okay, make a deception check.

MARISHA: Can the guards that I'm near hear her?

MATT: You're a little ways up. I'll roll a perception check for them, how about that?

LAURA: 14?

MATT: That's a cocked roll. The guards unfortunately do not hear it. They're not as perceptive and their focus is distracted between this, and they hear shouting, but they're not picking up the words. However, some of the folks nearby glance over at you and go, "Oh, shit, really?" Finishes his drink real fast.

LAURA: Spread the word!

MATT: "I've got to go see this!" They seem less worried about their lives and more like, "Oh, I want to go see how this goes down."

LIAM: Vanna's going on a prank binge!

MARISHA: Fight, fight, fight!

LAURA: Right, right. Is anybody around me now?

MATT: They're not around. In front of you there's one coming out of a building and you see a couple folks that are on the front porch entrance area of the tavern.

LAURA: I don't know if I want to run back or help Beau!

MATT: It's up to you. What are you doing?

LAURA: I'm going to head back to the group. I'm going to start running towards the group.

MATT: Okay. Jester, you turn around and start heading back towards the group. It's a long run because you went 500 feet from the ship.

LAURA: I know. I'm going to duck into an alley as soon as it's near so I can cast Disguise Self on my next turn.

MATT: You go for it. That finishes your go. Yasha's up.

TRAVIS: Yeah, Yasha's up. She is going to make two attacks against Avantika. She'll move into melee with her and will make them both reckless attacks.

MATT: She's going to use her reaction to parry, which adds a plus two to her armor class.

TRAVIS: That's a 17 to hit.

MATT: That misses.

TRAVIS: Good to know. These are terrible rolls. That's a 25 to hit.

MATT: 25 hits.

SAM: Take her head off, Yasha!

TRAVIS: 14 points of damage.

MATT: 14 points of damage to Avantika. As the blade carves through, she tries to parry it with the rapier, but it slips down and carves a slight bit off of her forearm before it gleans off, and you can see a little bit of red immediately exposed where the cloth was carved through, and a little bit of the skin and flesh removed with it.

TRAVIS: She will use the rest of her movement to keep running up the dock.

MATT: Okay, that's going to be (counting) 40. That's as far as she can get.

TRAVIS: Right, because it's fucking shitty terrain.

MATT: Difficult terrain, yep.

TRAVIS: Does she have anything that keeps her from--?

MARISHA: Dealing with that?

TRAVIS: Like angel of death problem? No?

MATT: As an action you can angel of death.

MARISHA: Wings on ice?

MATT: They're more for the surprise party factor than the actual flight thing.

TRAVIS: Nope, I don't see anything.

MATT: Okay, that finishes Yasha's go. Caduceus, you're up.

TALIESIN: Oh, man, wow, I am really stuck on that, aren't I? That's irritating.

MATT: There's the guards there. There's Avantika. Avantika does not have a reaction; she already used it to parry.

TALIESIN: That's difficult terrain, though, so if I burn my action I'm only going to get 30 feet.

MATT: Correct.

TALIESIN: Hmm. Let's get weird. Okay.

TRAVIS: Yeah, let's! Let's do it!

LIAM: Get weird, Taliesin, get weird!

SAM: I'm going to make all the ice turn into bugs.

TALIESIN: I'm going to vanish. That's the first thing I'm going to do.

MATT: I'll say for the purposes of keeping tabs on you, this will be your marker.

SAM: Ooh, cool marker!

MARISHA: See-through Caduceus.

TALIESIN: There's a joke there that I cannot think of what it is because I'm too freaked out. I can cast while I'm invisible, correct?

MATT: No, it's your ability. As soon as you cast something, you lose your invisibility.

TALIESIN: Well, the invisibility only lasts one round.

MATT: Actually, let me check the wording on that, if it's different from the actual spell, because usually it's--

TALIESIN: Not a big deal.

LIAM: This encounter's getting to me. My body is radiating heat. I'm hot everywhere. Flames! On the side of my face!

MATT: "Can magically turn invisible until the start of your next turn or until you attack, make a damage roll, or force someone to make a saving throw." You can cast a spell as long as it doesn't damage or attack somebody.

TALIESIN: As long as it's not a damage spell, I can just--

MATT: Or force someone to make a saving throw.

TALIESIN: Oh, okay. Yeah, I'll just ignore that, then. I'll stay invisible and I'm going to try and take my 60 feet.

MATT: It would be 30 feet with this.

TALIESIN: Yeah, my 30.

MATT: (counting)

TALIESIN: Can I get one further away, just to--

MATT: You can go at an angle in front of Yasha.

TALIESIN: Yeah, just to get a little cover. Thank you!

MATT: That ends your go, Caduceus. Fjord, you're up. Your friends are catching up behind you, there's a sleet storm slamming, there's guards swarming around your direction telling you to halt, and up ahead of you you watched a speedy Caleb grind into the ground. What are you doing?

TRAVIS: We're going to get weird, right? All right.

MARISHA: Getting weird.

TRAVIS: I'll look up and point above the stern of the ship where Vera is, and my eyes will roll back and I'll say: (deep voice) Barlgura, and I will Summon Greater Demon.

SAM: What?

TRAVIS: I'm going to drop a barlgura right on Vera's fucking head.

LIAM: That was a sick description!

TALIESIN: I have never been so proud.

LIAM: That was like Babe Ruth summoning a demon from hell.

MATT: I wasn't sure if you had taken this spell. I prepared for it just in case.

SAM: What is that?

MATT: This is it!

ALL: Whoa!

LAURA: Bouldergut has met her love. They start making out.

MATT: You'd be just on the edge of the ship there.

TRAVIS: That's great. I want him right in their fucking business.

SAM: If you walk away, does he stay there?

TRAVIS: I only command him for one round, and on that command I will say: Fuck up that crew.

MATT: With the dark speech that emanates from inside of Fjord's body, it echoes out like a weird, discordant harmony of several voices you've never heard. For those that are present. You guys are way the fuck away.

TRAVIS: Fuck up that crew, fuck up that crew, fuck up that crew!

MATT: There's the sound of reality cracking and you look up and watch where, in the center of the sky there, at the very edge of The Squalleater's deck, two large, meaty hands pull open this barrier between the realms, and stepping out you see this large, gorilla-like demon covered in fur and horns at the edge, these giant fists, with tusks that emerge from beneath this chin and these red, burning, coal-like eyes. As it steps out, it turns right towards Vera, whose eyes are wide, and (roars) in her face. You watch her hair get blown back a bit, spittle across her chin. That's your action.

TRAVIS: With my bonus action I'll turn to the guards and go: Avantika's not to be trusted. I will Misty Step with my bonus action.

MATT: All right, you manage to Misty Step.

TRAVIS: 30 feet. Towards the direction of out. The fuck out.

MATT: Okay. This puts you--

TRAVIS: Anywhere near Caleb?

LIAM: 60 feet from Caleb at this point. I was 90 feet from Fjord.

MATT: Correct. You went 30 feet forward and you still have your movement.

TRAVIS: I'll use the rest of my-- yeah I knew that, I'm planning for that, yeah. I'll use the rest of my 30 feet to run towards that unconscious wizard.

MATT: Okay, so you go heading towards Caleb. After shouting, "Avantika's not to be trusted" after summoning a fucking demon, I'm going to ask you to make a persuasion check with disadvantage. Because you just summoned a fucking demon.

LAURA: Creepily. Very creepily.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: Oh, god. Oh, god.

(groaning)

TRAVIS: Six.

MATT: All right. Well, they seem to be more focused on what just appeared through the scar in reality you left. All right, so you charge past. You're coming upon the group of guards now that are around the rest of the crew of the Mistake, but they've forgotten about that crew at that point. They saw Caleb rush past. Two of them went over to figure out what the hell happened as he basically darted-- football fumbled off to the side. The others are turning and coming towards your direction, but it's not their turn yet.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: All right, that finishes your go, Fjord. It is now Bouldergut's go.

TRAVIS: Do I roll initiative for the barlgura?

MATT: You do, yes.

TRAVIS: Oh, that's a 17 plus-- I don't know if there's any bonus. Maybe it's a 17.

LIAM: Dex bonus?

TRAVIS: Dex plus two. So 19?

MATT: 19, right after Avantika.

TRAVIS: Okay. Good puppy.

MATT: Oh, man.

TRAVIS: (nervous laughter and noises)

LIAM: (Bane impression) Your punishment will be more severe.

LAURA: It doesn't get to go as soon as you summon it?

TRAVIS: I don't-- It says it gets its own initiative.

MATT: Correct. When you summon it, on each of its turns thereafter, you issue a verbal command to it, so you can keep issuing commands every turn. However, it doesn't go until its next initiative. All right. That's real interesting.

TRAVIS: Uh huh.

LIAM: This is fucking chaos.

MATT: So, Bouldergut's going to move. (counting) I'm going to make a saving throw for the now partially-damaged-- okay, yeah, that's fine.

TRAVIS: The plank?

MATT: The plank is going to snap. Gets her about there, and is going do the dash up here. The next two guards who were now focused on Bouldergut coming forward, and they're not entirely certain what's happening. They're focused on the demon. There's weirdness from all sides. It seems the watch are not used to this chaos breaking this far in towards Darktow. Usually, the reef and the defenses they built around the reef are enough to keep things like this far from the island. That finishes Bouldergut's turn. That brings us to Nott and Vera, but Nott, you get to go first.

SAM: I will run full speed through the difficult terrain. How far can I get?

MATT: (counting) You're next to Yasha with your movement.

SAM: Okay. Then bonus, another--

MATT: (counting) 25, 30.

SAM: Now I'm right in front of these guards?

MATT: You are, and you still have your bonus action.

SAM: I used movement and bonus action to move, and I'll use action to-- (whispering) shit, who do I fuck up? (laughter) There's no one engaged with anyone, so there's no one I can do sneak attack to. Instead, I'll do a Hail Mary. I'll take out a bit of fleece, and rub it, and speak some words, and cast Phantasmal Force on Avantika.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: She'll probably save, but it's worth a shot.

MATT: What's the save?

SAM: 14. Intelligence. She's smart.

TRAVIS: Roll low, roll low.

MARISHA: Natural one.

MATT: Natural five.

TRAVIS: Ooh! What's her modifier though?

MATT: She's very good at a few things, but she doesn't have the highest intelligence to get to that point.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: She's smart, but not that smart.

MARISHA: She went to public school!

MATT: I went to public school.

MARISHA: So did I.

(laughter)

MARISHA: We all have average intelligence, let's be real.

SAM: As Bouldergut is walking over, holding a pick, or what?

MATT: It's a giant-- it looks like it once was a mast of a ship that's been whittled down into a greatclub.

SAM: I want Avantika to see Bouldergut doing this and holding up the book. Holding up the book and waving it around. She's definitely holding that book.

MATT: Okay. All right. Avantika glances over and (sigh). For a moment, you see a look of relief come over Avantika's face.

SAM: All right.

MATT: All right. Is that your turn?

SAM: Yes, that's it.

MATT: You got it. Now, it's Vera's turn. Vera, seeing this happen-- Oh man.

MARISHA: But she believes it now. How long does she believe it for?

SAM: A minute.

LIAM: Anything that keeps her occupied for one round, but still.

MARISHA: Okay, okay. A lot can happen in 60 seconds.

MATT: All right. Vera's going to glance off to the side-- Actually, she's going to try to move out of melee of this barlgura.

TALIESIN: Attack of opportunity?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Oh, yeah.

MATT: So, make a strike.

TRAVIS: Okay. That is only a nine. Wait, that's a nine.

MATT: Nine misses.

MARISHA: Nine.

MATT: As the giant demon swings outward, it impacts and deflects off the energy field of Mage Armor that pushes it off to the side. Vera steps back. The reach on that is five foot, right? For the attack? Just making sure.

TRAVIS: Yes, five feet.

MATT: Okay, she pulls out of it and goes (harsh sigh). Looks down at Avantika, looks down at all the guards that are gathering as they're moving in. Just barely from that angle there.

TALIESIN: Fuck, man.

MATT: Yeah, that does it. All right, she goes, after hearing what Avantika said, goes, "Everyone, they have crossed Darktow! Take them to the Plank King!" You watch as she's saying these words, her hand sends this strange series of symbols through, and casts Mass Suggestion on the guards in the vicinity of 60 feet of her.

TRAVIS: Mass? Mass Suggestion?

MATT: Yes.

TRAVIS: That's new for me.

TALIESIN: Being taken to the Plank King ain't bad.

MATT: Fail. Fail. Fail. It's working out great. It's like, two, seven, four, three. Ten, fail. Natural one.

TALIESIN: Do they even know who the Plank King is?

MATT: All of them failed. You watch as all of these guards have the confusion suddenly crystalizes, and all of them look towards your group and start shouting, "Stop them! They're thieves!"

TRAVIS: Oh, fuck. (stammers) We're thieves?

MARISHA: They all failed their save. He thinks that we're the bad guys now.

SAM: (whispering) We are, kind of.

(laughter)

MATT: Vera, after casting that, is going to use the rest of her movement. (counting) Oh, god.

LIAM: She's dead. Oh, no, she passed out.

MATT: I'll put her there, it's fine. All right, that ends Vera's turn. Caleb, for your turn, make a death save. It's the beginning of your round. I keep forgetting it's the beginning of your turn, in case you roll a natural 20.

LIAM: That is-- these dice-- That's a 17.

MATT: Cool. That's one success.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: All right.

SAM: Deez dice.

MATT: At the end of Vera's turn, this goes away.

MARISHA and SAM: Oh.

LAURA: Yeah, which sucks for us, and now they can get to us faster.

MATT: The sleet and stuff has now melted and dripped off the sides. These guards here--

LIAM: (guard impression) "What's all this, then?"

MATT: (counting) 30 on each side, and they're both going to attempt to grapple Yasha. Go ahead and make an athletics check for her. She has advantage because she is raging.

TRAVIS: Okay. That's 24. 21.

MATT: Yeah, one guy fails to grapple. Then the other guy's going to attempt to-- Make another check. She has to beat a 16.

TRAVIS: 12, and that's a 21.

MATT: Yeah, they just can't-- they try and grab her, and she shrugs them off, no problem. These other guards here begin to swarm up to try and grab Nott. This one's going to move up and try and grab Yasha. This one here is going to-- He tries to move forward towards Yasha, and ends up chest-bumping space in the middle of the air, and confusedly is going to try and grapple whatever's there. He has disadvantage on that, so first, I'm going to do that with you. Rolled really well with disadvantage, natural 19 and a natural 17. Make an acrobatics or athletics check to see if he doesn't grapple you.

TALIESIN: Acrobatics or athletics? Those are both terrible, okay.

SAM: You're a big thing.

TALIESIN: I'm a big thing. A 20 is what I rolled. I rolled a 19 plus one, so I'm going to do an acrobatics run.

MATT: Okay.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: I am, to be fair, invisible. It's hard to grab.

MATT: No, no, no! He tries to grab you, and he gets ahold of you, and you push him off, and he looks really confused. He grabbed something before he really knew what was happening, and is really confused. For a moment, he thinks it was a ghost.

LIAM: Nothing but sparkle pony fur.

MATT: For the one that rushed up to try to grab Yasha again because the other guys failed, ooh, natural 18. So, roll for her. It's going to be a 20.

TRAVIS: 16.

MATT: She is currently grappled by this guy. He's now grabbed and is holding her in place. She's (grunting). The two other guys are going to try to dogpile in to try to stop her from moving. We have three attempting to grapple you, Nott.

SAM: Three?

MATT: Yes.

MARISHA: You're tiny. You're dexy.

SAM: Sure, sure. Here we go.

MARISHA: Slippy.

MATT: All right, so first guy--

SAM: Do they roll? Do I roll?

MATT: You roll an acrobatics check against them.

SAM: 15.

MATT: That's a success. Next guy, natural 20.

LAURA: Oh, no.

MATT: That's 22.

SAM: Natural 20.

(surprised laughter)

TALIESIN: What the fuck is happening?

MATT: Oh, my god. All right, all right. So, he manages to actually grab-- The first one, you're just too slippery. "Oh, god!" You turn on the side. The other guy grabs you. Right as he squeezes, you just jump out of it, land on his arms, and then step off. The third one's going to try and grab you. That's a six. Go and roll.

SAM: 12.

MATT: Okay, you still manage to slip away. None of them can grab you. You're too fast! Tiny goblin form! "Quick! Nab her!" You're jumping around, darting around, squeezing out of the way. No impact. All right, that finishes the guards' turn. Ipess is going to (counting) try to hide at the top of it. Ooh, natural 20. So, he's going to scoot up around the side, dart off the edge. He's going to make a shot at the barlgura, who has shown up. With advantage, that is going to be a 19 to hit. What's its armor class?

TRAVIS: 15.

MATT: Okay. He does get sneak attack damage against it.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: That's an additional 2d6, so...

SAM: Does this thing have a name?

TRAVIS: Barlgura. It has a demon name.

SAM: Which is what?

MATT: 14 points of piercing damage. Does it have any resistances?

TRAVIS: It does. It has damage resistance to cold, fire, and lightning. Damage immunity to poison... yeah.

MATT: Damage immunity to poison. That's all?

TRAVIS: Condition immunities: poison.

MATT: Got it. No immunities to non-magical weapons?

TRAVIS: No.

MATT: Okay, just making sure. All right, yeah, so it takes full damage on that. Mark that.

TRAVIS: 14, right?

MATT: Yeah. That's going to end Ipess's turn. Now it's the crew's turn. This one's going to make a step back, trying to get out of range of the barlgura. It already used its reaction to do an attack. It's going to reload and fire with its crossbow against it. Ooh, that's going to be a 17 to hit?

TRAVIS: 17 hits.

MATT: All right. It suffers eight points of piercing damage.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: These guys here are going to fire down after reloading. They're now focusing on the giant demon. They're not focusing on you guys, so.

SAM: That's great!

MATT: They're turning like, "Oh, Jesus!"

TALIESIN: You are tanking. This is a tank. This is a good tank.

MATT: He's going to move over here, and attempt to fire at it from there. This one's going to stand where he is and reload. These guys are going to spin around and focus on this terrible creature. All right. This guy here is going to stay behind. That's (counting) six shots against the barlgura.

TRAVIS: Six shots. Oh, fuck.

MATT: So, all right. 18 to hit?

TRAVIS: Yes.

MATT: One point of damage.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: Nine to hit.

TRAVIS: Yes. Oh, no, misses, sorry.

MATT: All right. Seven to hit.

TRAVIS: Misses. Three more.

MATT: 18 to hit.

TRAVIS: Hits.

MATT: Nine points of damage.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: 16 to hit.

TRAVIS: Hits.

MATT: Seven points of damage.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: The last one is 14 to hit.

TRAVIS: Misses. Yeah, misses. Armor class 15.

MATT: That finishes the crew's go as they're all laying into this demon that appeared on there. You watch as (growl) as it turns back to yell, all of a sudden it gets another bolt in the chest and in the side. It's getting all of these bolts that are now sticking out of its body as it's raging angrily on the deck of the ship. You can see now there's a giant, burned U on the side. It wasn't around long enough to catch the ship on fire, but there is a dark scarring on the base of the deck there. All right. One more round, and it would've caught fire.

LIAM: FYI, if I'd stayed conscious, I would've thrown a Fireball at that boat.

MATT: (laughter) That would've been great!

LIAM: That was my next move.

MATT: Oh, man. All right, that ends. Top of the round. All right, so, Beau. The guards are there in front of you right now. There's three of them shoulder to shoulder, and there's one of them that looks-- the one in the center is a little better-armored. They go, "Hey, Miss, Miss, where are you going?" They're looking at you and both looking at what's over there.

MARISHA: I have requested evidence for the Plank King. He wants to see me directly. It's Avantika. There's a coup. She's trying to take over the city with a demon god.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

LAURA: Come on, Beau!

MARISHA: Not deception?

MATT: No, because it's honest.

MARISHA: Persuasion's not my best.

MATT: There was nothing about that statement that was incorrect.

MARISHA: Okay! 13? Above average?

MATT: You're not sure if he believes you, but he's not aggressive, if that makes sense. He goes, "Well, be that as it may, we need to figure out what's happening before we can have you running so quickly with intent."

MARISHA: Time is of the essence. They're killing pirates who do not bend the knee to her. I've got to get to him now. Let me pass!

MATT: "We'll send for him. Stay here," and the two other guards stay there, and hold the position and fill in the space. He turns around and starts making his way towards the Throne Roost.

MARISHA: Let me come with you!

MATT: He goes, "Ah! I've got it," and he continues walking.

SAM: Kill the guards.

MATT: We'll say that you've used an action at this point. You still have your bonus and your movement, if you want to use it.

TRAVIS: Bathe in their blood. No, no!

MATT: It's up to you. You can go along with it and stay there and wait for your friends, or anything else you want to try. They are not aggressive at this point; they're just holding the line.

SAM: You've got a big stick.

LAURA: Do not attack them!

LIAM: Sam Riegel, shut the fuck up!

MARISHA: I... wait.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

MATT: The tension in your body is rising up, and for a second, the muscles bulge and the veins begin to pop from the sheer amount of adrenaline that's in your system and your urge to charge through. You just breathe heavily as your entire form sinks into it. The two guards, you can see their tension, as their hands were going for a weapon, drop. They both go into a watching but waiting pose. That ends your go.

LIAM: With great power.

MATT: It's now Avantika's turn. Avantika sees the guards shifting their allegiance under the effect of this Mass Suggestion spell. She's going to turn and attempt to go after Yasha.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: What?

LIAM: I'm angry at the villain; that's what I'm supposed to be!

MATT: Yeah!

LIAM: You're doing great, everything is fantastic, I'm having a wonderful time!

TRAVIS: I'm having a wonderful time!

LIAM: My ears are going to combust!

MATT: Good. She's making three strikes against her, because she's the one closest to it. Yeah, she's not too hurt. She's not doing anything defensively. Or, you know what?

MARISHA: It's so tempting. I'm so tempted to just bust through there.

LIAM: It's so in character.

MATT: No, Yasha's being held. As far as she knows, Yasha is doing okay, or the guards have her. Nott is the one that keeps darting around, so she's going to raise a hand and cast Eldritch Blast at Nott.

SAM: Eldritch Blast.

MATT: Ooh, that's 24 to hit.

SAM: That'll hit.

MATT: You take three points of force damage. As you're jumping off, suddenly you get hit across the chin, but it's a glancing blow and your world goes a little dizzy for a second. The second one misses entirely.

SAM: You said three points, right?

MATT: Yes.

SAM: Oh. Okay. That's not as bad as I was preparing for.

MATT: She didn't roll very good on the damage.

TRAVIS: Does a grapple count towards keeping rage up? Is it an attack?

MATT: Technically a grapple is an attack, yeah. She's going to use her movement to back up five, six, going towards this, backing up towards the ship.

TRAVIS: She was not in melee with Yasha, right?

MATT: Correct. Instead of doing that, she stayed back to do that and is now looking up towards the demon that is raging onto the base of the ship. Seeing the guards have got this under the Suggestion spell, she seems to be backing off slightly. That's going to finish Avantika's go. Now it's the barlgura's turn.

TRAVIS: It is. The barlgura is going to use its running leap to jump right on Vera.

MATT: Oh-ho-ho!

MARISHA: Hot.

TRAVIS: It will unleash three attacks, one with its bite and two with its fists, and they will all be reckless.

MATT: Because it can do that?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: Go for it.

TRAVIS: It's still alive. This is the first bite. That's an 18. That's a 12, so the 18 plus seven. 25 to hit?

MATT: Yeah, that hits. Roll damage on that one.

TRAVIS: Okay, and I'm throwing shit, no problem.

MARISHA: Bling! Bling, bling, bling!

TRAVIS: That's 12 points of piercing damage for the bite.

MATT: Okay, good to know. She does succeed on her constitution save with a natural 16. She does every time she takes damage to see if she can maintain her Mass Suggestion.

TRAVIS: Gotcha.

LAURA: Oh, right

TRAVIS: 18, 12. For the fist attack, that's 23 to hit?

MATT: That hits. Roll damage.

TRAVIS: A 1d10. That's a one, plus five, that's five points of bludgeoning damage.

MATT and LAURA: One plus five is six.

TRAVIS: Yeah, that.

MATT: All right. Natural 12, succeeds on the save.

TRAVIS: Succeeds?

MARISHA: (chanting) Public school!

TRAVIS: Shit, all right.

MATT: Her con bonus isn't that high, so it's just a straight roll on the d20.

TRAVIS: That's a 16 to hit.

MATT: 16 does hit. All three hit.

TRAVIS: Fucking shit! Six points of bludgeoning damage.

LAURA: Fucking balls! Get rid of that fucking dice.

SAM: Lot of fucks from the Willingham family.

MATT: That's a natural ten, just barely makes it. Does not drop concentration. But took some hits. Vera's looking a little roughed up and scared as shit. She runs down the stairs and turns around and sees this thing. (roars) It starts roughing her up. She's thrown against the back, is pummeled into the side of the ship and is trying desperately to look for a way to escape.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: That ends the barlgura's turn. I need you to take a charisma saving throw for it.

MARISHA: You have to stay far away from Winston.

TALIESIN: Wow. Really? Now? Really?

TRAVIS: That's a natural one-- No, that's a two minus one.

LIAM: So an unnatural one.

TRAVIS: So I lose the ability to control it.

MATT: Correct.

TRAVIS: And it attacks the nearest non-demon thing for six rounds.

MATT: Correct, and then it returns to its home plane.

TRAVIS: Disappears.

LIAM: Six rounds.

TRAVIS and LAURA: Dis-ta-peels

TALIESIN: So that's fine.

LIAM: That's fine. Six rounds of carnage.

TRAVIS: That was a great idea.

TALIESIN: This is six rounds of, "Well, that's okay."

TRAVIS: Yeah. I was like: I don't know if this will ever be-- That could work.

MATT: Well, no, you haven't lost concentration on it yet. It stays for the hour, but then once you lose concentration, roll a d6 to see how many more rounds it stays.

TRAVIS: I understand. I thought it was different.

MATT: Nope.

TRAVIS: Thank you for that clarification.

MATT: No worries. That ends the barlgura's turn. Jester, you're up.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: You've ducked to the side. You've cast Disguise Self on yourself.

LAURA: To look like a pirate.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Yeah. I'm going to--

MATT and LAURA: Like a pirate.

LAURA: I'm going to walk out and start shouting at guards nearby. Avantika's attacking everyone! I heard 'em say it! Avantika's-- She's finally doing it! She's trying to take over! She's finally doing it!

MATT: Make a deception check.

SAM: We always knew she was--

TALIESIN: I'm mad as hell! And I'm not going to take it anymore!

LAURA: 20!

MATT: Okay. People in the nearby streets that are seeing this go like, "Are you serious? That crazy bitch!"

LAURA: She's finally-- Finally!

MATT: A few people nearby take this and go, "Oh, oh!" and start going inside to avoid this. Other folks are getting angry and throwing their glasses on the ground and, "Oh! I knew one day-- Ugh!" They're pissed and going to grab their things and maybe start a militia against her. We don't know. You've rallied the corner.

LAURA: Okay, good. Are there any guards within earshot that heard me shouting?

MATT: There are guards rushing towards the action that's happening behind you, and there are a few that are-- There's a bunch now making their way towards this intersection.

LAURA: I'm definitely waving my tankard around and shouting at them. Ah! The docks!

MATT: Okay. You're up ahead and you hear this in the back, but you don't know it's Jester. You just hear a lot of shouting, so you're like, "Oh man, my deception worked, other people are yelling this!"

MARISHA: I go: See? To the guards next to me.

MATT: Perfect.

LIAM: (nonsensical rabble rousing)

MATT: That finishes Jester's turn. It's Yasha's go. Yasha is currently grappled, but you can still make her actions. She has to use an action to break free if she wants to to move, but otherwise her movement is zero. But she has advantage because she's still raging.

TRAVIS: She's going to try to break the grapple.

MATT: All right, make an athletics check with advantage.

TRAVIS: 22. 22.

MATT: He got a six.

TRAVIS: Okay, cool.

MATT: So the guy managed to luckily grapple her last turn. She just flicks him off. He's like, "Ow!" So she's free of the grapple.

TRAVIS: She's free of the grapple and she's going to turn and say: Not me, them! And not attack. Or run.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: There's three people around her in melee. She's not going to run.

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: That's it.

LIAM: Yeah, good call.

MATT: All right, that ends Yasha's turn. Caduceus.

TALIESIN: I Immediately turn visible.

MATT: Yes, you do.

TALIESIN: Hey.

MATT: They all (gasp).

TALIESIN: I'm going to-- Yeah. I'm just going to help my friend there. I'm not going anywhere, it'll be fine. I'm going to cast Bless on Nott and Yasha and can I Bless myself or can I not Bless myself?

MATT: You can Bless yourself.

TALIESIN: I can Bless myself. So I'm going to cast Bless on the three of us.

MATT: All right. That gives you d4.

TALIESIN: That's a d4 to your saving throws and to your attacks.

MATT: There you go.

TALIESIN: All your saving throws and your attacks you add a d4.

SAM: Just once though, right?

TALIESIN: No, it's a concentration spell, so. A little something something.

MATT: Okay, so that ends your turn. Or what else you doing?

TALIESIN: Does it look like he's going to make an attack? Because I'm going to start scooting towards--

MATT: There's no attack. He looks startled, and his hands are forward to try and-- They're not weapon drawn to bludgeon you, but they're trying to keep you from going anywhere.

TALIESIN: How far away is Caleb, currently?

LIAM: 95 or 100 feet.

MATT: From where you are there, 90 from there, about 110 feet from you.

TALIESIN: I'm going to point and start walking that way, just going-- Is he going to make a swing?

MATT: He's going to attempt to stop you.

TALIESIN: Okay, I can't use a bonus action to convince him to let me walk by, can I?

SAM: You're invisible.

MATT: No. Unfortunately, you may not know this, they are currently magically compelled.

TALIESIN: Oh, yeah. Would I know that or would I not know that?

MATT: You would not know that.

TALIESIN: Okay, that's fair. All right. It's looking like he's going to hold--

MATT: As you're trying to tell him this and trying to scoot by, he like--

TALIESIN: I'm going to turn to the other side of him while not being very aggressive and I'm going to--

MATT: He heads you off of the pass and is saying, "Stay put."

TALIESIN: I know, but he's--

MATT: "Stay put."

TALIESIN: He needs a little bit of healing--

MATT: "He'll deal with it. Stay put!"

TALIESIN: While we're having that conversation, I'm going to flip around to the other side of him so I'm a little further away from Yasha. The other way.

MATT: The other way?

TALIESIN: Yeah. Keep going. There. Not quite in contact with the other--

MATT: Okay. There's other guards here, that are--

TALIESIN: I'm not going to quite bump into them, you know.

MATT: Okay. He's still trying to maneuver around.

TALIESIN: Is there shit I can do with my bonus or is there nothing I can do with my bonus? Probably not. That might be everything I can do. Yeah, I'm going to cast a quick Healing Word on Yasha who could probably use a quick Healing Word.

TRAVIS: Okay. She'll take it.

TALIESIN: So take a little--

MATT: Fjord, you're up next.

TALIESIN: Ooh, that's nice. Take an extra nine points of healing.

TRAVIS: Thank you, sir.

MATT: There you go. All right. Fjord, it's your go.

TRAVIS: My distance from Caleb, please.

LIAM: 30 feet.

MATT: Yeah, with the Misty Step and the movement you had. So you are 30 feet from him.

TRAVIS: Amazing. I will use my 30 feet of movement to close to Caleb.

MATT: As you do, you rush past some of the guards that are on the opposite side that were rushing towards you. There's, I believe at this point, four of them that were heading your direction, because there was the one that was going towards Caleb. So we'll say two of them you'll have to push past. They both are going to make attacks of opportunity on you. Just an attempt to grapple to stop.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: Make your acrobatics or athletics check to try and break free.

TRAVIS: Acrobatics or athletics. We'll make it athletics, straight up. That is a 17.

MATT: That succeeds. They literally rolled a natural 14 plus two. 16 was the highest roll. The other rolled a two. You manage to shrug past. You push out of his grasp. He's like, "Hey, wait!"

TRAVIS: Great. One more.

MATT: Well, no, you--

TRAVIS: That was it? Yeah, oh, okay. I'll run down and kneel next to Caleb and go: (English accent) Help me help this man! I will pour a healing potion into his mouth.

SAM: Ooh! He does have a potion.

MATT: All right. So you come to consciousness on the ground.

LIAM: (groaning) Hey. I think I skinned my face. Ah! Done. I don't know what's going on.

MATT: Well. Now it's Bouldergut's turn. Bouldergut's going to move up, shove past, and begin to take a giant club towards the barlgura. Down towards it.

LAURA: Make out!

MATT: First hit is a 20 to hit?

TRAVIS: That hits.

MATT: Other's an 18.

TRAVIS: Okay. They both hit.

MATT: Both hit, okay. First hit is 12 points of bludgeoning damage.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: The other one is 16 points of bludgeoning damage.

TRAVIS: Okay.

SAM: Matty? Can Avantika see that happening?

MATT: Avantika see what?

SAM: Her friend using her book to smash on top of somebody else's head?

MATT: Yeah. It's really confusing.

TRAVIS: Those last attacks were reckless.

MATT: She's like, "No! What are you doing!" But she's used to Bouldergut not being the brightest.

TRAVIS: His last attacks were reckless, so you could roll twice for both of them, if you want.

MATT: What's that?

TRAVIS: She--

MATT: Oh, reckless. That's right, yeah. No! A four and a two. So both of those worked out fine. That's the end of Bouldergut's turn. Bouldergut's slamming onto this demon going, "Go to sleep! Don't hurt my friends!" Finishing her go, it is now Nott's turn.

SAM: I'm surrounded by three guards?

MATT: Yes, and they're all-- hands on their weapons, trying to subdue you and grab you. They're now shouting, "Stop! Halt!" I say guards. They're all volunteer pirates of The Revelry that help keep watch on the shipyard here.

TALIESIN: They have an official sash.

SAM: The ones around Yasha, are those the same guards or are any of these people from the ship?

MATT: No, the ones from the ship are further this way, and they were being brought by guards, but they've been left alone to focus on you guys. Yasha currently is stopped, and they're all very much in a "stay there" type position. They're in the process of subduing their quarry.

TRAVIS: I healed Caleb nine points.

MATT: Gotcha.

SAM: I will disengage and make my way towards Fjord and Caleb.

MATT: You slip past and make your way up towards Fjord and Caleb. With your disengage, and your movement, and your action, you can make your way--

SAM: 60 more feet, I think.

MATT: Yeah, 60 feet. From there, that would put you not quite to where they are, but it gets you up to where the other guards were that he rushed past, and just beyond them, because disengaged, they don't get any attacks of opportunity. All right, that ends your turn? Vera is looking not too great. Vera is going to--

TRAVIS: (laughter) Go!

MATT: Is going to cast Scorching Ray against the barlgura. She's going to attempt to take a step back up the stairs. Barlgura does get an attack of opportunity on her.

LAURA: Yeah! Balgura, fuck her up!

TRAVIS: Oh, I do? Okay, I will make it a fist attack.

LIAM: Fist to the skull!

TRAVIS: Reckless.15.

MATT: 15 just hits. Just hits.

LAURA: Get a ten!

TRAVIS: It's a six plus four. That's ten points of damage.

MATT: Ten points of damage, ugh. All right, makes it. Natural ten again. Doesn't break the spell.

TRAVIS: Fuck.

MATT: She's having good luck with those rolls. Takes it, climbs to the top, spins around, is going to Scorching Ray towards the barlgura. That's 3d20s against it. Okay, that's going to be 20, 20, and 17.

TRAVIS: To hit? Or damage points?

MATT: To hit.

TRAVIS: Oh, yeah, they all hit.

TALIESIN: Is he within 30 feet of me? No, not 30 feet. Goddamn it.

MATT: No. All right. Not a great damage roll. The balgura takes 18 points of fire damage.

TRAVIS: Halved because it has resistance to nine.

MARISHA: Is it still alive?

SAM: It's alive? Oh, wow!

TRAVIS: We're in single digits, kids!

MATT: Caleb, you're up.

SAM: Caleb.

LIAM: I'm just--

MATT: You wake up, come to consciousness on the ground. Fjord is getting you up. You look over your shoulder, and you can see there's a whole shit ton of guards in the area that are subduing Yasha. Caduceus seems to have put his hands up.

LIAM: What is my distance from the boat?

MATT: From the boat? From now, you'd be about 160 feet.

LIAM: 160 feet? If I got to my feet, that's half my movement.

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: If I moved ten feet I'd be within 150 feet, correct? Yeah?

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: So I will weakly stand, and I will weakly trudge ten feet forward, and I will throw a Fireball and center it-- where's Vera?

TRAVIS: She was over here.

MATT: In your state-- where do you want to put it?

LIAM: Well, where's Avantika? I don't know.

MATT: You don't know. Where are you putting it?

LIAM: I'm putting it there, at the mast.

MATT: At the mast? All righty. As you wake up, you spin, fire. This ray streaks past. All the guards, who are calm at this point, see this happen, and watch the streak go by and detonate on the ship. The bright flash of light echoes against everybody's faces as the impact hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

LIAM: I don't know what's going on. I'm doing the last thing that was on my mind.

MATT: Yeah, totally, man.

LIAM: 8d6.

SAM: Avantika's not going to be alive to defend herself against our accusations.

LIAM: She will.

MATT: That'll go well.

TRAVIS: That would be our line.

SAM: No, really! She was a really bad person before we killed her and everyone on the boat.

TRAVIS: She's on the lip.

LIAM: 31.

MATT: 31, good rolls.

LIAM: Yes, good rolls.

MATT: Okay, so, Bouldergut, that's a fail. Bouldergut's looking rough.

LIAM: So Caleb's whole face and cheek, one side is skinned.

MATT: Just a strawberry scrape. All right, this guy. What's the DC on it?

LIAM: Oh, on mine? That would be on mine-- sorry, everybody. Scheisse. I think it's 16?

MATT: It should be 16, I think,. It's eight plus your proficiency plus that.

LIAM: Yeah, 16.

MATT: All right, so he succeeds. He rolled a 17, so he takes-- 31, you said? So 15 points of damage to him. Oh, he's dead. He's fucking done. He took damage from the Fire Wall earlier.

SAM: Oh, that's the guy who was already at the gangplank?

MATT: Yeah. That guy, he makes his save, but he dies too.

LAURA: Oh god!

SAM: Matt's making me feel sad for these people.

MATT: This guy doesn't make his save; he's dead.

LAURA: Oh god! The whole crew is dead!

SAM: This is what we do to crews on ships.

MATT: Roll for the barlgura.

TRAVIS: Oh, it's incinerated. It had three hit points. Even if he saves.

MATT: Yeah, the barlgura is destroyed. Vera-- that's cocked.

SAM: We hate seamen.

MATT: That is 13, does not succeed. Vera takes 31 damage. Vera's almost dead, is burned, incinerated on the ground, not moving.

TRAVIS: Unconscious?

TALIESIN: What happens to her concentration spell?

MATT: Concentration spell's lost.

TALIESIN: Do the guards now know that they were being manipulated?

MATT: It doesn't work like that, unfortunately. But their compulsion's no longer there.

LIAM: They saw the Fireball go over their heads, yes.

MATT: Yeah. With that, the spell fades. Vera crumbles to the ground, barlgura's gone, giant explosion. The mast leans slightly to one side from the impact. This guy was out of the radius, actually.

TALIESIN: Still have to make a dex save from it, though.

MATT: I'd say if he hit the mast-- I'd say it hit him, actually, yeah.

TRAVIS: His poor feet. He's like, "Fuck!"

MATT: Ipess has to make it as well. He fails, so he gets incinerated.

TRAVIS: How many life sentences are you serving, Caleb?

MATT: Ipess does make it. I need you to make a wisdom saving throw, Caleb.

LIAM: Multiple?

MATT: No, the DC's real high on this one.

LIAM: Yeah, I'm sure it's going to fail. This is a wisdom? 18.

MATT: As you go conscious, you watch as bodies go flying off the side and fall limp to the side of the dock, their bodies still smoldering but unmoving. You start flashing back to a very painful memory, and Caleb's eyes glaze over. You are currently stunned.

TRAVIS: What? No. Hey!

MATT: Okay, that ends Caleb's turn. The guards that were calm are no longer calm. As they see you do this, the guards that were behind you charge in, and all grapple both of you. Are you resisting?

TRAVIS: No.

MATT: No, all right. You are dogpiled and grappled.

SAM: Oh god. Are we giving up?

TRAVIS: Let me see. Yeah!

SAM: There's only six or seven of them. We're super powerful.

TRAVIS: I've got crazy spells after the next short rest.

MATT: All right. Damn.

TRAVIS: Ain't no stretch of time I ain't ever done that could break a man.

MATT: Ipess looks around at the destroyed crew, saw Vera go down, and runs up to try and see how she's doing. The remaining crew, which is just the one here, and this one here.

LAURA: Is Bouldergut still alive?

MATT: Bouldergut's still alive, barely. Barely.

TRAVIS: I think Avantika thinks that Bouldergut had the book. Would the book have taken the Fireball damage?

MATT: Currently the book's still in her hands. There was no variation in that.

TRAVIS: Cool.

MATT: The book is still held there in her hand. Okay, that's going to end the crew's turn. Coming back to you, Beauregard, as you're just waiting. You keep waiting?

MARISHA: I tell the guards standing next to me, because I'm assuming they saw the explosion of the Fireball, I'm going to say: More people die with each passing moment. Will you at least walk with me? Time is of the essence here.

MATT: "Don't do anything funny." They turn around and start walking with you.

LIAM: That's a good deal. Yes, yes, yes!

MARISHA: I power walk like a grandma at a mall.

MATT: They're (grunting), trying to keep up a bit.

MARISHA: It's 9:00am, the doors just opened!

TRAVIS: Those sweet all-white New Balance.

MARISHA: Got my insoles!

MATT: Avantika takes a quick glance at the scenario, and opens the hatch and charges inside of her ship.

TALIESIN: What's she got in there?

SAM: Dildos.

LAURA: Just a big shipment of dildos.

TRAVIS: She does.

(laughter)

MATT: At this point, unless anyone's going to resist, combat comes to an end and we are now at a role playing point. At that moment, we'll take a break. Unless you were doing anything?

TRAVIS: Are you resisting?

SAM: I'm running. I'm not going back to jail!

MATT: We'll take a break in a second, then.

TRAVIS: I'm never going back!

MATT: Because when it gets to Nott's turn--

SAM: Yeah, I'm going to bolt.

MATT: Okay. If that's the case, there are four guards now. No, because now two of them have changed direction to go towards you and help subdue you guys. There's two after you now. They're both going to attempt to grapple you and stop you. Make two acrobatics checks.

SAM: Not great. Ten.

MATT: Ten on the first one.

SAM: 17.

MATT: Both fail, actually.

SAM: Oh, they both got me?

MATT: Yeah, that was a 12 and an 18.

SAM: Who are these guards? I wasn't next to anybody!

MATT: This was as you were charging through there, and on their turn they moved up to you.

TRAVIS: They played sports when they were younger. They're really dextrous.

MATT: Your movement's zero, you can't escape. We'll say that happened on their turn, so on the beginning of your turn, you're grappled. You can attempt to break free if you want to.

SAM: From one of them.

MATT: Actually, that's an interesting point. Let me pull up my new, fancy Player's Handbook.

ALL: Ooh!

SAM: What is that?

LIAM: It's their new limited edition.

MARISHA: It's a box set. It's so fucking hot.

MATT: Unintentional commercial, but these are so awesome.

TALIESIN: Oh my god, it's too pretty.

MATT: I think they're brick-and-mortar only, so you've got to go to actual game stores.

MARISHA: Go to your local game stores. Support small businesses!

TALIESIN: You'll see me at a game store. I don't know which one, but I'll be there.

LIAM: A thousand years of D&D!

MARISHA: When are you going to be rich, son?

TALIESIN: D&D. &D.

MATT: It doesn't say. I'll say make a check and we'll see if it's high enough for each of them.

SAM: It's not. It's a two.

MATT: No. They hold tight, you can't move. Your movement's zero. They're both clutching you there on the side.

SAM: (sighs) I relent.

MATT: Okay. With the chaos now coming to a stop, and Nott prevented from escaping, though that would have been a fun chase sequence, now we'll go to a break.

LIAM: Matt, we have played this game for hundreds of hours together. That was two of the best hours of this game ever! That was so much fun.

MATT: Man, that was really intense.

TRAVIS: Did we turn it on its head for you?

MATT: Oh, there was a few things there that went differently than I expected!

TALIESIN: I was having so much Treasure Island flashes. That's one of my favorite books, and it's like all of this is so good! All of it's so good!

MATT: Before we go to the break, we have our fantastic giveaway from our friends at Wyrmwood, who are giving away this leather-inset zebrawood dice tray.

MARISHA: That's the one I got. It's so pretty.

MATT: To join the contest, you have to go and jump over to the Critical Role Twitch chat, that's at twitch.tv/criticalrole, during the break, and enter the keyword "fire." Only enter it once, more than once and you'll be disqualified. Once again, unfortunately, only the US and Canada, excluding Quebec. We'll have a winner for you at the end of the break. See you guys then.

TRAVIS: Oh my god!

Part II
MATT: Hello, everyone, and welcome back. Before we go in, we have our winner of our fantastic Wyrmwood dice tray, zebrawood dice tray. The winner is WonderfulMouse. Congratulations, WonderfulMouse! We'll get that sent to you ASAP.

MARISHA: So cute.

MATT: Diving back in. As the rest of you stand there amongst the shipyard docks, subdued by the harbor watch, The Revelry watch there. More gather, and more gather, I'd say about half the watch of this city, the volunteer mercenaries that take their shifts to keep their eye on their island, little haven there, all flood the docks to see what the hell just went down. You look up and see the blackened, charred sails of the ship, treated against weathering, but still darkened from the blast of the fireball, the wood itself darkened and splintered in places. You can see that giant, burned U that marks the deck. Everything is held in place. You're making your way to the guards. What are you doing, Jester? You see Beau being led up by the guards towards the Throne Roost.

LAURA: Okay, you can do it, Beau. Do I see the big fire explosion too, as it happens?

MATT: Oh yeah, you saw and heard the distant (explosion).

TALIESIN: Whitestone saw the fire.

TRAVIS: (singing) Whitestone saw the fire.

LAURA: Oh. Okay. I hope everyone's okay. Please, Traveler, be with them. I'm going to start running towards the docks in disguise.

MATT: Okay. The guards have now pulled you all to your feet, and have begun to apply manacles to your hands. Not anything too aggressive, but for the purpose of safety and to maintain the order within this community, they're particular and careful. They also go onto the deck, and you see them beginning to collect the bodies of those that were killed. Bouldergut is inconsolable and furious, and it takes a few guards to get her to calm down. Avantika is having a conversation with a couple of the guards. You guys are being pulled away from the docks, towards the city. As you are brought towards the edge of it, one of the guards, adorned a little better than the rest, have a brief discussion. You overhear one of them say, "Hold tight, apparently someone's going to get the Plank King." While you guys are all waiting, and you're going to convene with the rest of your troupe--

LAURA: I'm not going to join them.

MATT: But go and find the vicinity.

LAURA: See what's going on, yeah.

MATT: There are many looky-loos on the edges of the shipyards here. The docks make up probably a good third of Darktow. Before you actually get the edge of the cliff where the city itself is built on different areas and platforms, and the streets all rise at a perpetual grade, as it is embedded in the side of the cliff. There are folks who are looking over to see what happened. Usually this kind of stuff does not go down within the city. You can see that people are excited, and worried, and making up their own stories, and what they saw. One of them is like, "It was crazy! A demon "fell from the sky and slammed into the boat and it was intense!" The rumors are going crazy.

MARISHA: It was a Gwar concert.

MATT: That's a 7th-level spell, Summon Gwar Concert.

LAURA: (old man voice) Did Avantika finally do it? Did she finally do it?

SAM: She's still trying?

LAURA: I always heard that she was going to stage a coup. Did she finally stage one?

(laughter)

TALIESIN: If I can take ten minutes of this time sitting manacled to cast Prayer-- if enough of us are within 30 feet of each other right now.

MATT: You can probably all-- they do round you up. However, as soon as you begin to make any physical action towards spellcasting--

TALIESIN: It's all vocal.

MATT: It's only verbal?

TALIESIN: It's only verbal. And I tell them.

MATT: You tell them you're going to cast a spell?

TALIESIN: I'm going to be healing everybody. It's a thing that I--

MATT: "No spellcasting."

TALIESIN: (loud sigh)

MATT: "Don't want any funny stuff."

TALIESIN: All right, that's fine.

SAM: Have they taken our weapons?

MATT: They have, after manacling, taken your weapons. The individuals are carrying them at their side. Not yours. They couldn't find yours.

TRAVIS: I wonder why.

MATT: They have your crossbow, and they've taken your shield and your staff.

LAURA: Am I within range of everybody? Could I be in the crowd, but near everyone?

(laughter)

MATT: There is a small perimeter being held, but you could get probably within 20, 25 feet or so of them.

LAURA: Then, if I'm within 30 feet, I'm going to cast Prayer of Healing on my buds.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: What? On your buds?

LAURA: On my buddies!

MATT: Make a performance check to see how subtly you can-- no, this would be deception. Make a deception.

LAURA: A deception check. Okay.

TRAVIS: Come on.

LAURA: Eight. Well, I hope those people are going to be okay. They look like they're pretty hurt up in there. Some of them look like they're bloody. That one looks burned.

MATT: As you begin to subtly try and sneak your verbal components of your spell into the discussion, one of the guards goes: "Hey! Sorry, we're making sure there's no casting this close to it, if you don't mind."

LAURA: Makes sense. I just saw some were hurt. I was trying to help out, but if they don't want it, then I ain't going to do it.

MATT: "It's best not to get involved. Terribly sorry about that."

SAM: I want to hear more!

MATT: Nah, that's it.

LIAM: No! It was so good!

TALIESIN: This is what you get for Counterspell.

MATT: He's telling everyone, "Please, hold tight. Don't worry. We're taking care of it."

TALIESIN: It's just a cheek caress, then gone. Not even a kiss goodnight.

MATT: Anyway, about 30 or so minutes pass for the rest of you. As make your way up the steps now, trying to jaunt, you manage to catch up to the armored fellow, who now acts as the tip of the spear, essentially. Now you're flanked and to the front, although the flanking has to shift as the space for the steps ascending to the Throne Roost get only wide for one person at a time. You are being held at that point. You make your way up to the Throne Roost, to the shelf of stone. There you see, standing at the edge, is the Plank King himself, blackened curls still dangling around his massive goliath head, his long coat billowing slightly with the bit of wind that's whipping around the side of the cliff face. The morning fog is burning off of the nearby reefs, and you can see a little bit further out. The sky itself is still dull gray. Looks over and goes, "That was "quite the display, wouldn't you say?" The guard goes, "Right, sir. One of them, we found at least someone running from the bit who says they have information for you." He goes, "Oh yeah, no, I recognize this one. Step forward."

MARISHA: 'Sup?

MATT: "So what's all this?"

MARISHA: What, the display you just saw, or this?

MATT: "If you don't mind, tell me what's going on."

MARISHA: I think you just won the lottery, friend. I toss him the book.

MATT: He flips through the pages. "This is gibberish."

MARISHA: I know. Luckily, one of our crew members is smart enough, and he deciphered the whole thing. In there you'll find everything you need to know about the coup that Avantika has been planning. Whispers about wanting to rule the sea. She has been worshipping an outer-worldly being called Uk'otoa, left over from the Betrayer Gods.

MATT: He glances through the paperwork, looks at you giving him this sly grin, and goes, "You, newcomer into these waters, spent less than a day amongst our people and have already attacked and stolen from one of our own, as well."

MARISHA: I didn't attack; she attacked us first.

MATT: "Well, we'll see what she has to say to defend herself, as well. Hang tight with me here, with these men. The rest of you, get the rest of your guard. Bring her friends, and bring Avantika and who else had survived that massacre up here to the roost."

MARISHA: You're going to trust the things that she says? You'll see a U burned into the deck of the ship.

MATT: "I don't trust anyone, and I trust more those that I've mistrusted for years than those I've only come to mistrust and know right now. So we'll see where it all lies. Be patient. If what you say is true, then we've got all time in the day."

MARISHA: You have time to read that book right now?

MATT: "I don't read a fucking piece of this, but I've got a few friends who are more of a page-turning type."

MARISHA: Hey, you came to me, though. Why?

MATT: "Because I wanted to see if you'd actually do something. Remember, we don't turn on pirates here."

MARISHA: What do I get when I'm right?

MATT: "If you're right, then I'll judge you based on the fact that you broke our law as soon as you got here, and I'll weigh it versus how positive this tells me. There's not enough, well, maybe you and Avantika will find yourselves out there on a pike of warning."

MARISHA: How about we strike a deal right now? Because when you go down there, you're going to see murdered crew mates and a U burned into the deck of that ship from where she was trying to summon Uk'otoa.

MATT: Make a deception check.

SAM and LAURA: Oh god.

LIAM: (whispers) You crazy motherfucker.

MARISHA: 17.

MATT: Okay. He nods a bit.

MARISHA: So if you think you can trust anything that she says before you get into the details of that book, details that we've already deciphered, as we've been on the seas with her for quite some time, and the betrayal that we have seen.

MATT: "So's this one." He snaps his fingers, and you see a cloaked figure step out of the shadows, the same cloak that passed you on the stairs the night before.

TRAVIS: Oh, right.

LAURA: Is it Jamedi?

MATT: It's Jamedi, hood pulled back.

SAM: Is he with us?

LAURA: I like Jamedi.

TRAVIS: Jamedi does not like her.

MATT: At which point, the Plank King steps up towards you, now looming over you, a good two and a half feet of height on you. This imposing presence, wide like a mountain, glancing down at you with a grin. You can smell his early morning breath of rotting teeth and whatever he had the night before pulsing from his grin. He goes, "I have to say, for someone so small, you've got some serious balls."

MARISHA: Thanks. That's not the first time I've heard that.

MATT: "And if you survive, I'm sure it won't be the last. All right. Let's go see your friends."

MARISHA: Hey! I want a boat, and safe passage out if we're correct.

MATT: "If this is right, let's hope you didn't blow up too much of her boat; it'll be yours."

MARISHA: Deal.

MATT: "If it's enough."

TRAVIS: Oh god. (choking)

MATT: The guards now turn and spin you around and push you back down the stairs as the Plank King follows behind, Jamedi keeping a close watch. He goes and shouts something off to the side. He goes, "Solon! I'm going to need your brain for this one. Come on." You hear a voice go, "All right, I'm coming."

LIAM and TRAVIS: Solon?

MATT: Solon. S-O-L-O-N. Coming around the corner, you see a human man, probably in his late 50s, early 60s. Bit of an unkept puff of a chin goatee, his hair thinning in this big widow's peak, gray to white. These big spectacles around his eyes, and this tattered, thin mustache that's attempted to be curled into a handlebar, but it seems to have split in places and is not very well kept. He has this big, green cloak that's wrapped around his shoulders that is so much material and billowing so widely, it makes his head comparatively look much smaller. He's clutching a bag, and he's getting his stuff. "Wait here, I'm getting my stuff. Ugh!" They keep walking, and eventually you see him trying to catch up from behind. (panting) You take it this was probably what the Plank King was referring to as his bookish friend.

TRAVIS: You think?

LIAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: He's the fighter.

MATT: As you guys are all patiently waiting here, looking amongst yourselves, is there anything you wish to do, or are you succumbing to the hope that Jester, Beauregard, and/or possibly the Plank King comes to situate this? Eventually, you see Avantika brought up from the ship in manacles, as well.

LIAM: Well, I've noticed that they're not letting any of us cast anything, correct?

MATT: No, they shut that down.

LIAM: Then no. I would do Mage Armor, but no.

TALIESIN: This is basically a short rest? Is this what this is?

MATT: It's not quite long enough to be a short rest.

LIAM: Motherfucker.

TRAVIS: I know, I was going to say the same thing.

MATT: Actually, you know what? No, it's about an hour of short rest. I give that to you.

TRAVIS: Bless you, Mercer.

MATT: For the travel of Beau to the front, and the rest of the guard to get there; for the Plank King conversation; for him to descend the Throne Roost to make his way through the city to the docks; yeah, that's over an hour.

LIAM: Then in these circumstances, I would dismiss Frumpkin from the Material Plane and bring him back on my shoulder, so he's with me.

MATT: Okay. As Frumpkin appears on the shoulder, one of the watch goes, "Oh, where'd you come from, little one? Didn't even see you come in." Begins scritching Frumpkin.

LIAM: He's friendly. That's my pet cat.

MATT: Doesn't even talk to you. Just looks at Frumpkin. "Who's a cute little kitty? We don't get cats much on this island. It's good to see one. Wonder what ship you came aboard?"

(laughter)

LIAM: I'm thinking really bad thoughts.

MATT: Eventually, as the crowd begins to part, you see a number of the guard, a few of the bodyguards that you had seen previously sitting amongst the shadows of the Throne Roost when you first arrived the night before. You guys came roaring into this town; you definitely did. There you see Beauregard being flanked by three guards, one better-armored than the others, and then there, stepping behind that, the looming figure of the Plank King. He approaches. "So not here but 24 hours and you've already made a mess of our little home, have you? I could see the flames from my Roost. My crow's men tell me they spotted you walking aboard the Squalleater and assault Avantika, one of our own. Apparently a few of you fleeing into the city. You know I have my misgivings about trusting anyone, but I'm far more likely to toss in with those that I've mistrusted long enough to at least know where they stand. I don't know a fucking bit about all of you. So my other friend--" and he points towards Jamedi, who's now in the back, and the rest of you see, "-- says that you've all come in with her lot naught but maybe two weeks back, and that not most of you have much of an experience on the sea, naught but one. The rest of you still haven't quite found your legs on the waters. I'm going to ask you right now, what brought you out there, to mucking with the pirates' deals? Speak up!"

TRAVIS: We understand your distrust. We are new here, and we only beg your patience as we prove ourselves before you. Avantika and her crew were up to foul deeds. Our friend Beau here, I trust, has shown you her journal.

MATT: He reaches back in his pocket and goes, "Oh, right. Here," and gives it to Solon, who goes, "Oh, all right. This is not a language I really know--"

MARISHA: There's a cipher in the front.

MATT: "Oh, yeah."

LIAM: Yeah, it's wedged into the back page.

MATT: He takes it and pulls it out, looks at it. "Oh, fuck me, this is--"

MARISHA: Yeah, it's pretty good work, right?

MATT: "Sir, with all due respect, it's going to take me a long while to do this. This is elaborate."

MARISHA: I told you, yeah.

TALIESIN: I think there's already some work that can be checked, if that speeds it up. I mean, that should be--

MATT: The Plank King goes, "Shh."

TALIESIN: Oh, yeah.

MATT: "You said there's some special parts here, of looking to overturn me or something? What pages are that at?"

LIAM: Excuse me, I am the one who deciphered this. That is near the end.

MARISHA: He's our Solon.

MATT: Solon goes, "Oh! I'd very much like to have a conversation with you."

LIAM: As you will, if that is welcome here, but yeah. The bit about her being a traitor to the Plank King, and wanting to rule over the entire sea, and have the Plank King-- I believe the words are, if I remember correctly, because my memory is spotty, "bend the knee."

MATT: You point out the space where that was.

LIAM: Is near the end, ja, right here.

MATT: Thumbs through, and he goes--

LIAM: It's complex.

MATT: "Okay. O great king, give me a bit of time with this, if you don't mind?" He looks around. Everyone's looking at him. At this moment he glances around and sees the dozens and dozens of eyes locked on him, and he starts getting a little nervous. You see a little sweat drop on his forehead, and he adjusts his glasses again. They're starting to fog a bit. He goes, (clears throat), plops down, and starts going through, and pulls out paper and a quill. He sets up in the middle of the dock area and starts going through and point-by-point deciphering and translating each part of the cipher over to one of his empty pages.

TRAVIS: Great king, if we may, time we have.

MATT: "That we do."

TRAVIS: It's at your whim that we serve. I think it would be only fair to ask that we remain under guard while your compatriot here translates that text.

MATT: "Oh, we're standing right here."

TRAVIS: Fair enough.

MATT: "You still haven't answered my question. What brought you to these waters? Why'd you throw in with her lot?" You see now, they're bringing Avantika forward with the rest of you.

MARISHA: Well, we're from Wildemount. Hired mercenaries from the Empire. I'm with a secret order of the monks from the Cobalt Soul, known as the Expositors. Avantika has been a person of interest that we've been wanting to investigate for some time, and I was sent to do that. So, unfortunately, our business has nothing to do with you fine folk here of Darktow. It only has to deal with Avantika. She's disrupted our shores enough. We decided to investigate.

MATT: "Where does your allegiance lie?"

MARISHA: My allegiance is completely separate and isolated from any persons here. My allegiance is with the Cobalt Soul.

MATT: His eyes narrow. Make a deception check. I'll say with advantage because you did drop the Cobalt Soul. In particular with the Plank King, that has meaning.

LIAM: I would like to read her as well.

MATT: Insight check.

LIAM: At disadvantage.

MATT: Yes, for you.

MARISHA: 22.

MATT: The Plank King nods and goes--

MARISHA: My voice is shaking. I'm so nervous.

LIAM: 22 for me.

MATT: Yeah, you barely see through. There's a hint of truth, and there's a hint of not so true. It's a half-truth.

LIAM: Caleb sees it! Go away, Fjord! Go away!

MARISHA: Mixed lies or half-truths.

MATT: The Plank King nods and goes, "Ah, the Archives. I've had some dealings."

MARISHA: Hmm. So you have your library card?

MATT: "Not much of a reader. But your folk have done good work for our interests in the past. So! It's the woman of the hour. What have you to say about yourself when these strangers have come waltzing into our little haven and causing all sorts of ruckus. Murdering your crew and making these claims against you. Known you for years." Avantika, hand behind in shackles goes, "Well." Her face, you can see bits where dirt, sweat lines have made their way across and down the sides of her chin and jaw. Looking intently at the rest of you with a forced smile through her teeth, there is a look of murderous rage and loss in her eyes, as you have murdered a majority of her crew. She goes, "Well, I can guarantee that I kept no journal. They came to me at sea with discussion of perhaps coming and joining my crew, looking for means of aid and gold. They began to talk of this strange entity, this Uk'otoa. Well, I followed suit. I wanted to make for some kind of alliance. I found particular interest with one of their individuals." She looks over towards Fjord, "But it seems such a romance was merely just another way to try and toss me to the proverbial wolves, or merrow if it will. They've now killed my crew. They've taken a number of my things, damaged my ship, and they're trying to smear my name. One who has walked alongside you and all of you fine, fine folks for the past ten years! Even using the memory of Vandran against me." You hear a few voices go like, (murmuring) "Vandran." "Vandran raised this one and he sabotaged his ship. Blew it "asunder in the middle of the ocean. That was the last he was seen. He's already killed one of our own. Is this untrue?"

TRAVIS: (stuttering) Is she talking to me?

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: From the crowd, I'm going to go: She's lying! We always knew she had it in for the Plank King!

MATT: Someone goes, "Shh!" All eyes are on you.

TRAVIS: Plank King, if I may. My ears, though pointy, can only stand a certain amount of dishonesty. I would prefer to cut through the bull. There are those of us among us who can make sure that the truth is spoken here. I would beg of you to allow that to happen now.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

TRAVIS: Natural 20.

(cheering)

MATT: The Plank King gives you this very severe look. His eyes narrowed and glancing you up and down, almost piercing you with but a glance. He raises his hand with a grin and goes, "Oh. What's necessary for such a thing?"

TRAVIS: (whispering) Who has that shit?

MARISHA: I do and Jester does.

TRAVIS: You do?

MARISHA: Yeah. It takes me literally punching the shit out of Avantika though.

TRAVIS: Honorable Plank King, the means justify the ends. My compatriot here will place her Cobalt knuckles upon the chin of Avantika and you will hear the truth. You need but only ask your questions again.

MATT: "Be my guest." Avantika is like, "What is--"

MARISHA: Before she-- (double punch)

(laughter)

MATT: She's manacled and being held by two guards from behind. It's auto-hit.

LIAM: Holy shit.

MARISHA: Go for the temple.

MATT: Do you have a ki point left?

MARISHA: Yeah, I have all of my ki points left. More or less. All but one. Yep.

MATT: All right. What's the DC on that?

MARISHA: Mine, I'm assuming, which is 14. Hang on. Features and traits.

MATT: Yeah, whatever your DC is for all of your monk stuff.

LIAM, SAM, and TRAVIS: (whispering) Monk stuff!

MARISHA: Yeah, 14.

MATT: Okay. It's a wisdom save. No. That's a natural eight plus four. 12. So all these different hits and pressure points are hit, like under the chin, that area. Another to the sternum and another that clocks the temple. And Avantika just, "Ugh!" (heavy breathing)

MARISHA: They are unable to speak a deliberate lie for one minute and all charisma checks have advantage.

MATT: Intimidation checks? Oh, charisma checks! Yeah, persuasion, everything else. That's right, yeah.

LIAM: Mein Gott.

TRAVIS: Make sure you tell the Plank King it's a limited time engagement.

MATT: She's like: "Ugh!"

MARISHA: You have 60 seconds, but I have more knuckles.

MATT: The Plank King steps forward. "Avantika, is what they're saying true?" She goes, (frustrated grunt) Glances aside. Doesn't respond. He leans forward closer. "Tell me."

LIAM: (whispering) Silence speaks volumes, though.

MATT: "Is what they're saying true? Is that book containing passages where you're looking to take this island for yourself?" Her eyes look away. She just looks down at the rest of the dock. He leans in real close, pushing his forehead almost to hers. "Look me in the eye, woman."

MARISHA: Oh my god!

MATT: She just doesn't meet his gaze. "Hmm. By the power of The Revelry that surrounds me, let this be a lesson to those who would work against the words we swore to each other on this land. May your memory be besmirched for the few days it's recalled." He reaches forward and grabs Avantika by the throat and lifts her up and she's fighting against it. He lifts her and looks at her. "I hope your sea god, whatever it is, is very merciful on the other side." (cracking) He breaks her neck with one hand. Her body goes limp in his grasp and he throws it to the docks. "Don't worry about the cipher." Solon goes, "It's actually quite interesting. I'd like to continue." "Fine."

LIAM: I worked through the night on that. It's very interesting.

MATT: "And it's really well done! I'm honestly very taken aback by it. Your penmanship is quite good as well."

LIAM: Breakfast.

SAM: I have a sample of her penmanship here if you want to see some more of it.

MATT: "Oh, certainly!" He goes and starts taking it. At this point, the Plank King goes, "Take her up top. She'll be the next on the pike. As for the rest of you, you've pulled out a conspiracy, I'll give you that. You've also snuck your way into The Revelry under false pretenses. You've broken our laws within but a day of being presented with them, in multiple ways. That's a serious offense. So hear my judgment upon these folk. You are hereby banished from Darktow. Take the remnants of the Squalleater as your own. Take whatever--" He looks over towards the rest of the crew you hired, who are like (panicked panting).

TRAVIS: (laughter) Those poor fuckers!

MATT: They have had a terrible few weeks here! Except for Orly, who's sitting there, smoking a pipe, and his one eye goes.

TRAVIS: Stone-cold killer.

LIAM: He is so stoned.

MATT: "Take the ship you've thereby damaged. Limp your way beyond the reefs. We're going to burn the colors of that ship. Should you ever return to the outskirts of the Dragshallow, we won't hesitate but sink you to the depths below."

TRAVIS: That is beyond a generous sentence.

MATT: "Unshackle them. This stands immediately. I hope you have enough supplies in that boat to last you the rest of the journey."

SAM: (whispering) I don't think that we do.

TALIESIN: We'll be fine.

TRAVIS: We'll make do. We will leave with great haste.

MATT: "Good. Tell the Archives that the Plank King sends his regards."

MARISHA: Will do, good sir.

MATT: "Now fucking go!"

LAURA: Before everybody gets on the boat, can I run over to the docks because I'm not shackled, and I try to find the jewels that I dumped off the docks.

MATT: Okay. You have to dive into the water to do so.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: So, you jump into the water. Make an investigation-- No, this'll be a perception check with disa-fucking-vantage.

SAM: Disa-fucking-vantage!

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: Ooh! (laughter)

TALIESIN: Wow, fuck you!

LAURA: Two ones!

LIAM: You counterbalanced the rest of this game!

TALIESIN: Fucking belly flop into the water!

TRAVIS: Sin eater!

SAM: Two ones in a roll.

LIAM: Has that happened since the walk of shame?

LAURA: No.

LIAM: Two years ago.

MATT: You spend the next five or so minutes scrounging through silt and muck and barnacles and gathered bits of kelp and various other underwater plant life that has rooted itself among the rocks here. You've scraped your fingers, they're bleeding from digging through. You find a cluster of these gems that you dropped and you climb up out of the freezing water and find one of the nearby ladders and come up. Looking at your quarry, it is a bunch of rocks.

TALIESIN: Come on, Jester, let's--

MATT: Oh you don't see Jester. You just see an old prospector come up.

TALIESIN: That's right.

TRAVIS: You're a prospector!

LAURA: These are beautiful rocks. Beautiful.

MATT: You guys are ushered to the Squalleater. Your crew is ushered to the Squalleater.

SAM: Oh! The Mist is gone? The Mistake?

MATT: The Mistake is still in repairs and at this point has been left behind.

LIAM: Ja, we will take the bigger boat!

TRAVIS: Avantika's crew are still manacled up?

MATT: The remained of them, yes. Bouldergut is heavily manacled and is currently guarded by seven different guards.

MARISHA: Should we try to take them?

TRAVIS: No. Maybe one or two of them. Ipess?

LAURA: What? They're going to hate us.

LIAM: No.

TRAVIS: What? We've got to have somebody to kill while we're at sea.

LIAM: No.

SAM: Yeah, we have our crew.

LIAM: We have our crew. We do not need them.

TALIESIN: Yeah, we've got a way.

MARISHA: Yeah, we know how to sail now.

TRAVIS: Better. Yeah, and they do.

MATT: All right. As you guys get on the ship with your crew, the ship is damaged, the sails are damaged, one of the masts is damaged. It's going to need some repairs for it to be fully functional. But you have to leave now.

MARISHA: Yeah, let's go.

MATT: You take your positions at the ship, pull up the anchor, and make your way limping through the channel of Dragshallow Reef, back out towards the Swavain Islands, the Lucidian Ocean. As you slowly make your way with what little bit of wind you can pick up to bring you out there-- some of the sails are still working, so you're not fully damaged, but you're not optimal. There are a series of these-- what are referred to as the War Posts that are the clusters of driftwood and these towers that are set up along the reef and on top of the various reefs that are shallow or breach the actual surface that have cannons attached, that have flares set up and beacons that can be lit to alert Darktow. You get a better look this time of the system they have to defend this island from the Clovis Concord and anybody else that would look to make their way via ship to this island. You can see them at the ready, keeping a very close eye on your exit as you slowly walk of shame yourselves out of the purview of the Plank King and to a very carefully earned freedom.

TRAVIS: If I may, who is really good at finding shit? You two, and anyone--

MARISHA: Like investigation style?

TRAVIS: Yeah. How about you three, into Avantika's quarters and turn it upside down.

MARISHA: Ooh, you are turning me on right now.

TRAVIS: Not my intention, but go ahead.

MARISHA: Yes!

TRAVIS: Okay.

TRAVIS: Just in case she booby trapped this ship, search the hull, search her quarters, search everything.

MARISHA: Yeah, check for traps first, okay?

LIAM: I'll be doing that at disadvantage.

TALIESIN: I'm going to try and calm the crew a little bit.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: I'll point out that we're-- this is all good. We got away from the pirates, everything's all right.

MATT: Make a general persuasion check for me. Just a persuasion check.

TALIESIN: That's 15.

MATT: Okay, you do. A number of the crew that you hired, some of them look like they're a little scarred from the experience, but you managed to calm them down. They seem very thankful that you've pulled them-- you brought them into this mess, but you pulled them out of it and there's something to that. Some of them begin to get back to work, begin to repair some of the aspects of the ship. Man.

TRAVIS: Is Jester able to mend some of those damaged--?

LAURA: That's what I was going to try to do, yeah. Anything that's small enough, I'm going to try to mend. Small holes.

LIAM: 20 percent of the damage?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: There are a few places, but for the most part-- and it's only the one mast. You still have enough sails because it's a three-mast ship. You can still coast the winds, but it's not going to be optimal speed. You'll have to get back to some sort of a port to get the rest of the sails repaired because you don't have replacement sails. The downside of the Fireball. The Fireball and the-- actually. It was a 20-foot tall Wall of Fire.

LIAM: Yes, but the upside was so--

MATT: It was.

SAM: Then you singed the other sails, too.

MATT: Yeah, there's a lot of sail-- you have--

LIAM: Yeah, 20 feet tall. For six to 12 seconds. That didn't last more than two rounds.

MATT: I know, but that's a very intense--

LIAM: Absolutely.

MATT: I would say comparatively, you're limping on one full mast of functionality, and the rest of the sails are partially damaged.

LIAM: (gasps) (pigeon coos) Paint on the mast.

LAURA: (pigeon coo) I was thinking about it, but it's a lot of the use of the paint because--

SAM: (pigeon coo) How about a few sails?

TALIESIN: We don't have to pigeon this. I mean, we know what you can do, so maybe paint the fix for it.

MATT: Just so you know--

LAURA: That's what I want. I don't want to paint the whole thing.

MATT: Just so you know, this ship travels on an average pace of around 48 miles a day. Right now with the damage the sails have sustained, you're close to 20. You're less than half speed on the ship with the damage it's sustained at the sails. It's going to take you a while to get anywhere. But you have it.

LAURA: How big are the holes? Are they giant?

MATT: They're beyond Mending.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Mending can do little tears and things.

LAURA: No, I'm not talking Mending, I'm talking how big are the holes?

MATT: For the ones that are damaged, the sails are mostly destroyed. They caught fire and burned.

LIAM: I have a question. If I finally go to bed for like 14 hours-- Minor Alchemy for a transmutation wizard. I am able to perform an alchemical procedure on one object composed entirely of wood, stone, iron, copper, silver, and transform it into another material. If there was damage to the mast, would I be able to shove other things in there and turn it to wood? That seems like too much.

MATT: Doesn't quite work that way, and it's temporary. It's more--

LIAM: It's a spell that I could've done, but I didn't take that spell. I chose Counterspell.

MATT: To be fair, I think that worked in your favor. If tonight has proved anything, if the end of the last campaign has proved anything, Counterspell's always a good choice.

TALIESIN: We're going to spend a day moving slowly, but I think we're going to slowly figure out how, between all of us, we can repair this, and I'm sure we can figure out where to get some cloth.

MARISHA: This just turned into a resource management game.

TALIESIN: Yeah, it's a lot different kind of game.

MATT: You guys have now pushed into the rest of the seafaring mist. It takes you a while to move beyond the Dragshallow Reef, the better part of the day before you escape the channel at the pace you're moving. The clouds are pretty heavy now. The open sky that you enjoyed on your way to Darktow has now become-- not a storm front by any means, but definitely cloudier skies. As you're heading outside, you can see Yasha smelling the air and be like, "This might be getting close to storm weather."

TRAVIS: Is that a good thing?

MATT: She smiles.

TRAVIS: It's a good thing.

MATT: Continuing past into that space, repairs are being done best you can, with the ship still limping along. You make your way out of the Dragshallow Reef, out into open waters, and the ocean is yours.

TRAVIS: Can I find Orly?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: I'll bring out the map.

MATT: Bring out the map.

TRAVIS: I don't have it near me.

LAURA: Should we get close to a port or something?

TALIESIN: Or an island where we--

TRAVIS: Do we know where the map is, please?

SAM: (singing) Bring out the map!

MATT: It's usually right there. It got moved for Honey Heist, that's why. Oh, is it down there? Oh, there it is! It got hidden! It got moved from me!

TRAVIS: Damn it, Bobby!

MATT: Damn it, Bobby. There you go.

LIAM: I sell falchions and--

MARISHA: I'm having an adrenaline crash now.

LIAM: Yeah, we survived and--

MARISHA: Are those little zoomy magnifying glasses?

LIAM: They're magnifying, Matt? Where'd you get those?

MARISHA: The crew got them. That was Max. Thanks, producer Max!

TRAVIS: Do we know if we are making our way--?

MATT: You guys have just managed to make your way out of here.

SAM: Oh, going the wrong way.

LIAM: So we're going right into her vagina.

MATT: Well, that is the Wildmother. She is nature, I guess.

TRAVIS: I'll tell Orly: Orly, if you could help us plot a course, as damaged as we are, heading north to this point.

LAURA: Shouldn't we get to a port or something before we--?

SAM: Yeah, we need to repair first.

LIAM: There ain't no fucking port around here, motherfucker.

SAM: Well, maybe there's something over here! He knows about something. Let's ask! Orly? M-m-maybe?

TRAVIS: Wow.

LIAM: Max Headroom, coming at you from the mid-80s! W-w-what?

MATT: It's a good thing I grew up a stutterer.

LIAM: Yeah. Matt is just barely old enough to know what that is.

MATT: Oh, I know Max Headroom.

LIAM: I said you know what it is! Just barely.

MATT: It's funny, I didn't realize who played him until years later and I was like, really, him?

TRAVIS: Wait, who played him?

MATT: Oh, what's the actor?

LIAM: He was in The Stand as the Trashcan Man.

MATT: He was, and he played the part of Jobe in Lawnmower Man 2. Anyway!

TRAVIS: Because this is on a trade run, and this whole isle is part of that, could we make port for more extensive repairs there?

MATT: It's a resource stop. It might have some repairs, in your experience. It's not a major port by any means, it's more of a small--

TRAVIS: Resupply?

MATT: Yeah, it's a resupply.

LAURA: Might have canvas, at least.

TALIESIN: We can use Divination.

TRAVIS: That's the closest thing.

MATT: From your experience--

TRAVIS: Divination? What do you mean?

TALIESIN: If it's been 24 hours-- once I have a long rest, I can take my morning meditation and ask the Wildmother if there's a place of calm for our boat.

LAURA: You can do that?

TALIESIN: I can do a lot of stuff, man.

TRAVIS: I would love to have you do that.

LIAM: Are you doing that?

TALIESIN: I was going to do that. Yeah.

MATT: To answer your question, Orly goes, "Yeah. There's a way to get that working for you. We'll all take course and head for that m-m-mighty dangerous part of the sea." He marks it and they set it. You guys have been making your way around the Dragshallow northward towards that area.

SAM: Is that past where we're going?

TRAVIS: It is, but we don't have any other--

TALIESIN: Yeah, in the early morning I'm going to go to the crow's nest and have a ten-minute meditation and ask the Wildmother which direction we should be heading to find some safe harbor to heal ourselves and heal our boat.

MATT: Okay. Is this an ability, or--

TALIESIN: Yes, it is a 4th-level spell, it's Divination.

MATT: Oh, there we go.

TALIESIN: I'm using it. It takes ten minutes, and you can be as obtuse as you like. You can be a bird that flies in a direction, an insect, or whatever.

TRAVIS: Thank you for the Shawshank obtuse reference.

MATT: Okay, yeah. The Wildmother responds-- Actually, let me see what will be the best answer to this one, give me just a second. (stage whisper) Talk amongst yourselves.

TALIESIN: I was seeing if there was anything else I can do-- I'm setting day two spells so we'll have food and water.

LIAM: If we're talking about, like business shit, Caleb is going to Beau and saying: I'm sorry, I know that this has been less than ten days, but I need my cat, so I am taking my owl, I apologize. On a side note, so impressed. I walk off with my little tiny one-ounce owl.

MARISHA: Bye, Frumpkin.

LIAM: I will take the time to turn Frumpkin- I have two uses left with incense- back into a Bengal cat. So he can live his best life as a Bengal cat.

SAM: (imitating Liam's accent) Bengal cat.

LIAM: Diplomatic cat-munity.

MATT: You get that situated. Anybody else doing anything?

LAURA: I'm going to--

MATT: Your answer, by the way, is: "Bisaft Isle brings you safest harbor in what you seek."

TALIESIN and SAM: Bisaft.

MATT: There's a warm, gentle embrace that comes with the words, an understanding, and a familiar matronly guidance that brings you calm on the ocean seas that have long brought you anxiety. For the first time in probably a good number of weeks, you get to walk out on that deck, take a deep breath of ocean air, and feel really confident.

TALIESIN: Sea smells different today. Might just be the charred boat and-- Oh, no. Bisaft.

TRAVIS: You look rejuvenated. Did you say Bisaft?

TALIESIN: Bisaft. We're to head towards Bisaft.

TRAVIS: You're sure?

TALIESIN: Sure as anything.

TRAVIS: All right then. You can let Orly know.

TALIESIN: Orly!

MATT: "Mm-hmm?"

TALIESIN: Know the Isle of Bisaft?

MATT: "Oh, I'm quite familiar."

TALIESIN: That seem to be the direction we're heading right now?

MATT: "About as close as any direction gets, really." Other eye, even.

TALIESIN: I think that might be the place we ought to go.

MATT: Making it jump around a bit, guys. "Mm. Very well. M-m-make sure to point this ship in that direction."

TALIESIN: Thank you.

MATT: "And you."

SAM: On the first day we were on this boat, me and Beau and others were going to go into Avantika's cabin and snoop around.

LIAM: Oh right. I rolled an 18 and a 19 ten minutes ago.

MARISHA: I don't know if I rolled. I don't think I did.

SAM: I didn't roll yet either, but I was going to crawl in through the hole in her floor if it's still there.

MATT: Oh, it's still there.

SAM: To avoid any traps, and then look around the door from the inside to see if she had trapped it or anything.

MATT: Okay. Make an investigation check on that.

SAM: 20. 19.

MATT: No, it is not trapped.

SAM: I'll open it and let you guys in.

LIAM: I rolled an investigation check ten minutes ago at disadvantage and the lower is a 27. My investigation is plus eight. I'm smart--

MATT: The lower was 19?

LIAM: Yes. I rolled an 18 and a 19.

SAM: Well, I'll show Caleb around the room that I've already been in to see if he can find anything else.

MARISHA: I'm in there too.

MATT: Glancing around, you find-- There's her dresser with a number of outfits, coats, shirts, things that belong to the captain that you guys get to distribute as you see fit.

LAURA: (cartoon voice) Hey, look at me! I'm Avantika!

LIAM: Are there any more gigantic hats?

MARISHA: I was going to say teddies, but...

MATT: There's a few hats, yeah.

LIAM: Gigantic hats.

MATT: Avantika-sized hats.

MARISHA and TALIESIN: (singing) Hats and teddies. Hats, hats, and teddies.

(laughter)

SAM: Does she have a fragrance or anything? Like a perfume?

MARISHA: Chanel No. 5.

MATT: I will say you do find some scented oils, but that's the extent.

SAM: I'll take those.

MATT: She's not a perfume keeper.

TALIESIN: How about that statue above the door?

LAURA: Yeah, her little altar.

MATT: The altar is still there, the altar to Uk'otoa.

MARISHA: The maps-- the stuff behind her, charting out where she was going, anything in there?

MATT: Yeah. You find a few other maps and things that refer to a-- You see it breaking down the different trade routes, and you see other paths breaking out; those that try and avoid the trade routes to avoid the pirates. Those different paths they might take at different times of the year to try and head off people that are trying to avoid the waters that they're looking in. You find maps that deal with the path to Urukayxl, and you see the handwritten map by Jamedi that was the path you guys were lead through on Urukayxl to find the temple. You find another map that has circled heavily the archipelago that you've already sussed out, and you find recent notes on that same map that refer to the loose area circled where your ship went down that time ago.

TRAVIS: Will we pass over that area as we're heading towards Bisaft?

MATT: Well, you'll get near that area. If you want to head that way, you can let Orly know to--

MARISHA: It's on the way...

LIAM: Are you in this room with us too, right now?

TRAVIS: No, I'm just asking.

MATT: You find a lot of those materials. You get the sense that, aside from the maps, most of the information that she had, she kept in that book.

MARISHA: Any supplies list? Any inventory: canvas on board, things to make supplies?

MATT: You find a number of fine cheeses, actually.

MARISHA: Chocolate dipped strawberries, champ-pag-nay.

MATT: Not quite. All the good food was kept for the captain and some of it's turning a little, but it's cheese. Some better treats and some sugared candies that were kept specifically, like a private stash for the captain, you manage to find.

SAM: While we're down there, looking around, I'm going to say: So, you know, it's just the three of us down here.

LIAM: Yeah. I'm sitting on the bed right now.

SAM: We have some secrets between us already.

MARISHA: Yeah, it's been a while since just the three of us have been in a room together.

LIAM: Wait a second, look at me. I'm sitting on the bed. I am the servant of a demigod. This is going to be very hard for Fjord.

SAM: Yes, well...

MARISHA: What? You're jumping around so much.

LIAM: We can get back to what you're talking about, but think about it for a moment; it's just the three of us, right? We have our heads in the same game. We are the three assholes in this group, yeah?

SAM: I'm asshole adjacent.

MARISHA: She's quite pleasant, actually.

LIAM: That is correct.

MARISHA: She might be better than both of us combined.

LIAM: I'm joking because this has been such a hard day, but Fjord is going to find this very difficult.

SAM: We're going to protect him, like we always do.

MARISHA: Which part difficult? Losing his fuck buddy? It's not that difficult.

LIAM: That is minimalizing what he is dealing with right now. He is trying to find a father, he has compromised himself with this woman for us, for himself, for all of our safety. It is going to be difficult for him.

MARISHA: Of course it's minimalizing, have you met me? Everything I do is minimalizing.

LIAM: You have your pluses and your minuses.

SAM: Speaking of your pluses: the Expositors? You're special forces, did I hear that correctly? Is that what you are called?

MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: Is that true? It seemed pretty true.

MARISHA: Yeah, what Caleb said.

LIAM: It's mostly true.

SAM: What do you mean-- How do you know?

MARISHA: Yeah, how do you know?

LIAM: She is too educated. She is too in-the-know to talk the way she does, to be interested in just drinking and chasing our barbarian friend. She is very educated. I don't know which parts are true.

SAM: Well, which parts are true?

MARISHA: You want to take a guess?

SAM: I think you're a secret agent! I think you're on a dangerous mission- a life or death mission- to find bad guys and take them down! To get the collar and bring them in to the po-po, or something. I don't know how it works! I'm not a secret agent, you are!

MARISHA: It's very romanticized, but on that note: Caleb, do you think you could recreate that cipher that you made and have one on hand?

LIAM: Of course. That is easy.

MARISHA: I'd like a copy, if you don't mind.

LIAM: Sure, what are friends for.

SAM: Do you have a license to kill?

MARISHA: Got them right here, Nott. Just these-- No, that wasn't working? No? All right. Yeah, it's a little true, but not as intense as you think.

SAM: Are there others like you?

MARISHA: Monks?

SAM: No, like--

MARISHA: Expositors?

SAM: Yeah, Delta Force.

MARISHA: Yes.

SAM: How do you know who's who? Do you have a sign? Secret handshake?

MARISHA: Kind of new to it all, to be honest.

SAM: You guys are really cool.

LIAM: No. I am looking forward to getting back to the mainland, and I don't mean the Menagerie Coast. Although... We need to get Jester back to her mother if we can, but I am not looking forward to being here anymore. I want to get back to the Empire.

MARISHA: Speaking of time that it takes to travel, are we sure that Avantika was the only one who was interested in what Uk'otoa has to offer?

LIAM: Well, there is still Vandren. I have read every inch of her notes, I have communicated them to you.

MARISHA: I guess what I'm saying is, are we still going to be competing against others once the Plank King successfully deciphers that book?

LIAM: I would imagine the Plank King would not know what to make of it. It clearly damns her. It does not give him enough information-- He wouldn't know what to do with it.

MARISHA: It does kind of sound like a wives' tale.

LIAM: Yeah, he's not a big thinker. He is formidable, but not a big thinker. I think we will have an easier time getting to this boat.

MARISHA: Let's go talk about it with the others, I think.

SAM: Your secret is safe with me.

LAURA: Above deck, can I go find Fjord?

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: So... that happened. (giggles)

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: How do you feel about it?

TRAVIS: Relieved.

LAURA: Yeah?

TRAVIS: Yeah. I was worried for a moment there. I knew it was going to come to something like that, but Caleb pulling the trigger the way he did was--

LAURA: Did he cause that explosion?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: Wow.

TRAVIS: Right.

LAURA: He did a lot of damage.

TRAVIS: He did. He's very strong.

LAURA: So now we're going to find the place where your ship wrecked, yeah?

TRAVIS: I think so, yeah.

LAURA: You didn't get to ask them about Vandran, though.

TRAVIS: No, I didn't. It hurts to see so many react to a name that only meant so much to me, but-- I don't even know if he's alive. We might find him down there.

LAURA: Wow. Do you think if we find him, you'll stop talking like him?

TRAVIS: We'll see.

LAURA: You know, I could probably send a message to the Plank King and ask him about Vandran, if you want me to.

TRAVIS: What do you mean?

LAURA: Well, I can send him a message the same way I try to talk to my mama, and the Gentleman, and Kiri sometimes.

TRAVIS: You send messages to Kiri?

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: What do you say?

LAURA: Oh, just that she's really cute, and that I miss her, and I wish I could see her, and I hope she's enjoying herself, and that I am sorry that we haven't seen each other in a while, and that we are pirates, and--

TRAVIS: Can she respond to these messages?

LAURA: She usually responds with, "We're pirates, and I miss you, and--"

TRAVIS: (as Jester) Go fuck yourself.

LAURA: No, she doesn't say that. She says, "Yes, I'm very cute," a lot.

TRAVIS: Right. I suppose, what would you put in the letter to the Plank King?

LAURA: Whatever you want me to.

TRAVIS: I mean, I don't know if it's necessary. I can't think of anything as of yet. I don't know, maybe I'll just let you know. Thank you for offering, though.

LAURA: Of course. Your teeth are coming in.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: I saw it peek out of your lip just now.

TRAVIS: Okay, all right. Yeah. Thank you for not telling the others.

LAURA: Of course, Fjord.

TRAVIS: I've got to go check on Orly, make sure we're going the right way.

LAURA: Yeah, I'm going to go see if everything's mended over this way.

MARISHA: Mended over this way.

LIAM: Put a piece of paper back together.

MATT: It's going to take you about a week to get to the location that you're seeking.

MARISHA: The boat or the island?

TRAVIS: The island.

MATT: No, the island's going to take longer than that-- to get to where the last time you recall your ship going down.

MARISHA: With our shit all fucked up?

MATT: Yeah, it would take a shorter time. It's about eight days or so to get there, eyeballing it from here, I'd say. More than that, ten days.

LAURA: Can we cast Control Water to get us there faster at all?

MATT: Do you have access to Control Water?

LAURA: Of course I do.

TRAVIS and LIAM: You do?

MATT: Then yeah.

LIAM: Oh fuck.

LAURA: Maybe I can do that every day.

MATT: Okay. I'll say, with the Control Water--

TRAVIS: Fucking secrets.

TALIESIN: I was about to say, I might be able to do that too.

SAM: Come on, everyone has Control Water, don't they? I've got it.

LIAM: I've been waiting to drop it. Fucking water genasi heritage, man.

TALIESIN: Nope, never mind-- oh, yeah, I've got it, too.

MATT: It's in the cleric list, yeah.

MARISHA: It's a cleric-- oh god! d4 just went flying!

MATT: Between the two of you, it allows you a brief moment where you can actually surge the water and grant you a speed boost. I'd say that'll cut three days off of your travel-- the two of you, each day, spending that slot to push it. It's like a speedboat burst. All of a sudden, your giant, three-mast ship is going (crashing water), speedboating across the ocean briefly.

MARISHA: Is it an event each day? Does the crew come out and we all join. Like, "Yeah!"

TALIESIN: It's like in Mary Poppins; everyone holds the china.

MARISHA: Exactly!

TALIESIN: And 12 o'clock.

MARISHA: And let's go.

LIAM: You're so stupid, Rose.

MATT: Eventually, you make your way to the open waters in the vicinity of-- Orly goes with you each day and looks about and gives you the once-over and goes, "I'm pretty sure that we're pretty dang close to that place you were asking about."

TRAVIS: I appreciate that, Orly. Hey, Caduceus, do you have any way of, I don't know-- you've got those vibes, right?-- feeling down and, I don't know, doing a little ping on the bottom?

TALIESIN: What do you-- I don't entirely understand what you're--

TRAVIS: I don't know, I don't want to put you in a box or anything, but you seem to pick up the most.

TALIESIN: You want to see if I get-- oh, for the ship. I don't know. That's a--

LAURA: That'd be a Locate Object sort of situation?

TALIESIN: I've got Locate Creature. Yeah, we've both got Locate Object, so we can both help with that.

SAM: What object?

LAURA: A ship.

TRAVIS: I'll summon the falchion and I'll say: Maybe try to locate this, and I'll point towards the eye. Not this eye, but a similar eye.

LIAM: Do you mean your penis?

TRAVIS: Nope.

LAURA: I'm going to do it.

MATT: Okay. It's a thousand-foot range, and it has to be something familiar to you.

TALIESIN: I'm looking for a boat. I'm looking for a ship. I'm looking for a shipwreck, not an object. We could do object, too.

LAURA: Yeah, I'm going to look for his.

MATT: Okay. That's 2nd-level? It lasts for ten minutes.

TALIESIN: So we can take turns.

MATT: Okay, and how many spell slots do you have 2nd-level each?

LAURA: Three each.

MATT: So if you're both trading off, it's about three chances per type of use per day. How many days you want to spend looking total?

MARISHA: For the boat?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: How long do we have?

MATT: It's up to you.

SAM: Do we have unlimited supplies?

MATT: Well, these guys can summon stuff with magic, if I recall.

TALIESIN: Yeah, so the food ain't good, but it's edible and the water's fine.

MARISHA: Until we find it.

TRAVIS: Yeah? What, like two days and then go fix the boat proper and come back if we have to?

MARISHA: I don't know. Maybe that's a team discussion.

TRAVIS: How about we spend two to three days, and if we don't find it, we can go and repair the boat proper or at least get the materials to do that?

TALIESIN: We can cast it at level three also, which is another--

SAM: If we find it, though, and we go down there-- we can't go down there. Can we go down there?

TRAVIS: Sure we can.

SAM: But then we can't make a hasty retreat.

LAURA: Yeah, it might be smart to have a boat that actually works before we go down.

SAM: I guess we could do a recon first.

MARISHA: There still begs the question of, is someone else going to come looking for this? Now that the Plank King--

TALIESIN: I like that we're here now.

MARISHA: We gave the book with the cipher over, so if anybody else wants it--

LAURA: Yeah, but we ripped out the page saying where to find--

MARISHA: We did! Oh my god!

LIAM: All the pertinent information is also in here.

TRAVIS: Nott, I would leave it at your discretion. We all have the ability to travel under the waves with great ease.

SAM: We do? How? I don't.

TRAVIS: I have a way of making it so that water becomes like air for you down there.

SAM: Does it feel like water?

TRAVIS: It feels a little thicker, like if you were in a really dense fog, maybe?

SAM: But it's still water?

TRAVIS: It is.

LAURA: But you can breathe it, so it's really not.

TRAVIS: Or you could stay above if you wanted to send a Message if some trouble appears on the horizon, I'd just hate to leave you behind on such a great adventure. There could be buttons, there could be little jewels, ingots--

SAM: Don't you talk down to me. I know what you're up to.

TRAVIS: What are you talking about? Iit's the bottom of the ocean. Ships throw people all the time.

LIAM: Full disclosure, I could help you cope with--

SAM: He thinks I'm going to go into the water for some fucking buttons.

TRAVIS: I heard tell there was a button ship that crashed right along the water.

SAM: Oh, the old button ship legend, really?! Oh! Buttonbeard the Pirate?!

TRAVIS: Yep.

SAM: He had buttons for beards!

LIAM: Nott the Brave. We have things to accomplish here. If you allow me, I could do what I have done in the past a little sneakily to help you cope with this fear you have. If you allow me.

SAM: I appreciate that, Caleb, but I've got my own way of doing it.

LIAM: Is it Mike Myers?

TRAVIS: There might be bronzed shoes, maybe little silver cups. Decoder rings.

SAM: Ooh, those spoons? The little spoons, the collectible ones? Fuck this guy.

LIAM: We're not there yet, though, we're talking in advance at this point? All in advance?

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: We're coming upon the area, right?

MATT: Altogether with the eight of them, it cuts the travel time down to five days. So you've got time.

SAM: I'll think about it.

TALIESIN: I'm going to be stocking us up on food too, so that there's more than enough food and water for the whole group.

SAM: Pewter? Plates? Those little collectible plates from the Stanford Mint or whatever?

LAURA: So we're going to hang around this area before we get to the boat wrecks, yeah?

TRAVIS: Yeah, I think so.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Okay, so taking your time, I would like you to each to roll a base wisdom check for each pass as you go through.

SAM: You two, right?

MATT: Yes. d20 plus your wisdom modifier.

TALIESIN: 19.

LAURA: 12.

MATT: Okay. Again.

LAURA: God. Nine.

TALIESIN: Oh, I'm doing save. I'm so sorry. Fuck, I was doing the wrong--

LAURA: Oh, shit! I was, too.

MATT: This is just check. Add your wisdom modifier.

LAURA: Even lower.

TALIESIN: I said 19? 16, and then 19.

MATT: Okay. Roll again. Your third spell slot of the first day, hitting this space and scanning the load.

LAURA: 15.

TALIESIN: 14.

MATT: Okay, and you're utilizing your memory of passage through here, as well as Orly's direction on this ocean. Go ahead and roll an intelligence check for me.

TRAVIS: 13.

MATT: Okay. First day goes through. Nothing catches your attention. You pass around, and then once you make it quite past the area, based on the measurements, where you think that you recall it happening. The next day, you make a curved turn and begin to head out to see some more land, as you can, to widen the perspective of your search. For the second day, roll again.

TALIESIN: Three?

MATT: Three in a row, yeah. Unless you want to use more spell slots to do more. So you can do your 3rd-level to burn as well.

LAURA: That's true. 20 on the first roll.

TALIESIN: 20 on the first roll.

LAURA: Lame on the second roll.

TALIESIN: 14 on the second roll.

MATT: (sneezes) Pardon me. Thank you. (sneezes) Pardon. Thank you.

SAM: You're a three-sneezer?

MATT: I am, at least.

LAURA: Should we try one more?

TALIESIN: 16, 19. Yeah, let's blow another. What else are we going to do for the day?

MATT: Sure.

LAURA: Motherfuck!

TALIESIN: 24.

LAURA: Six.

MATT: Go ahead and roll an intelligence check for you as well.

MARISHA: Come on!

LIAM: "Fuh-jord-y!"

TRAVIS: 11.

MATT: Okay. You go through the second day, and towards the end, you, Caduceus, sense a brief moment where something ship-related catches your attention, and then is gone.

TALIESIN: I had a moment.

TRAVIS: You did?

TALIESIN: Yeah. It's gone now. Would I know direction, even?

MATT: Vague direction.

TALIESIN: But we're moving, I know.

MATT: Yeah, you're moving. So it's like, all right, let's go ahead and turn it around.

SAM: Just point. Caleb will know the direction.

MATT: You turn the ship back in the direction of where it goes. At the very end of the second day, just as dusk is starting to creep in, you make your way back in the area, and you sense another hit.

LAURA: Ooh. Should I use another 3rd-level spell and try to find the orb-y thing?

TALIESIN: Let's do one more.

MATT: Okay. As you're attempting to find the orb, roll a wisdom check.

TALIESIN: I'll also join in for one more for that as well. It's my last spell slot.

MATT: Okay. You lose your concentration on the Locate Object.

TALIESIN: Oh. Okay, I'm still holding the boat. That's fine.

MATT: You circle around again. You've closed off a distance, but you haven't quite located the specific area yet. You're trying to guide into a vicinity. I mean, it's hard to really remember specifically where, when it's just open water and a storm looming, especially. So you get to a certain point where you're like, I'm not sure I'm being able to help, but you're starting to get something. You're not entirely sure. The divination seems to be helping, or this aspect of your Locate spell. Evening comes to a close. You ride the night out. The clouds are still thick. The next morning, you can attempt again if you like, both of you.

TRAVIS: Come on, you got it.

SAM: Bless or something. Do a Bless!

LAURA: I don't have Bless!

SAM: No, he does.

TALIESIN: I do.

LAURA: Bless us!

MATT: Make another intelligence check for me as well.

TALIESIN: Actually, this is a check, not a save, so it wouldn't--

LAURA: Oh, and I want to learn the cantrip Guidance, but I don't know any good healers that can teach it to me.

MARISHA: Druids can teach it, too.

LAURA: 18.

TALIESIN: 15.

TRAVIS: 20.

MATT: Okay. Roll again.

SAM: One last one.

MATT: This is your second spell slot used today?

TALIESIN: 19.

LAURA: Motherfuck. I'm going to use a third.

TALIESIN: That was my third, was 19.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: 21.

MATT: Okay. Between the 21 and your 20 intellect in guiding the ship around, you find yourself now collecting a secondary blip. Once again, on the ship, not on the eye.

LAURA: I was on the orb.

MATT: You're concentrating on the orb, or the ship?

LAURA: I was concentrating on the ball.

MATT: The ball? You find nothing.

TRAVIS: I think that means it's probably not down there, but I'd still like to take a look.

LIAM: Are we close? What are you telling us?

TRAVIS: I think so. We're starting to round an area that I think we could probably fan out and explore amongst the seven of us.

LIAM: I just got my cat back, but if you want an octopus to look on the bottom, you have it.

TALIESIN: That's a very good idea.

TRAVIS: That is, actually. If it wouldn't be too much trouble, Caleb, that would be--

LIAM: Yeah, I have just enough incense to-- yeah sure, let's make an octopus. Cat-shaped. An octopus-shaped cat.

MARISHA: Oh wow. How far does your octopus' connection go for?

LIAM: Well, I can tell him to go look and he'll come back to me. I can see through him for--

MARISHA: Yeah, but how far is your connection?

LIAM: It's a thousand feet. To watch, but he can go and come back, and I trust him. He's Frumpkin. I pull out my book and I set it on the deck and I start working on turning my cat into an octopus.

SAM: Does this mean we don't have to go in the water?

TALIESIN: Oh, this means we'll probably have to go in the water.

SAM: What? Why? He's got an octopus.

LIAM: An hour later, an octopus pops out, if we wait that long.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'd be okay with it.

MATT: So you create a Frumpkin octopus.

LIAM: Yeah. (sighs) Well, we had one or two days together. Just throw him off.

MATT: (splashing) Frumpkin makes his way in the darkness.

TALIESIN: I'm also going to put Bless on the octopus before it.

MATT: Okay. How long does it last?

TALIESIN: It's one minute.

LIAM: So I'll watch for the first thousand feet, but I assume he goes beyond that, because it's the ocean, so he keeps going down and down and down. I will tell him to look for this wreck, for what we are looking for, and when he finds it to come back and tell me about it.

MATT: Okay. Make a perception check for Frumpkin.

LIAM: 13.

MATT: Okay. About an hour goes by. Nothing. Roll again.

LIAM: 17.

MATT: Frumpkin goes beyond your visual range for a bit. You start getting worried, and then Frumpkin returns and is making his way quickly towards the ship.

LIAM: If he's within 1000, we have a connection.

MATT: 100-foot is the connection.

LIAM: A hundred? Thank you.

MARISHA: Maybe he'll see Dashilla.

LIAM: Maybe it's 10,000.

MATT: Technically, the distance doesn't matter for what you can see through his eyes. It's a 100 feet for it to communicate.

LIAM: Right, we've established that. I can see indefinitely. That's what we established early in the campaign with the circus, but I can't communicate with him.

MATT: Correct, during that time. So yeah, you watch through Frumpkin's eyes as he makes his way toward the-- finally finding the floor of this ocean. Over this second hour of his search, he catches one shape that is emerging like an obelisk on the bottom of the ocean. Upon getting close enough, you can see it looks to be the front of a wrecked ship, itself damaged and caked in minerals, ocean floor plant life, barnacles. It appears to be a damaged ship.

SAM: Does it have a name?

LIAM: I don't hear any of you.

SAM: (shouting) Does it have a name?

MARISHA: You're in my ear. Ow!

SAM: Sorry.

LIAM: Ooh, he has found the ship. This is a reminder I can't hear any of you. I don't want to disconnect. Don't give me wet willies.

LAURA: I give him a wet willie.

SAM: Six wet willies.

TRAVIS: His ears are just dripping saliva.

MATT and LAURA: (groaning)

MATT: Okay. Frumpkin does a circle on it, before feeling confident that he's discovered at least something of interest, and then beelines it back to the Squalleater.

LIAM: Who's a good boy?! You are the best cat that was ever put on this planet!

MATT: Then Frumpkin is now there at the surface of the water, without really a way getting back into the ship.

LIAM: Oh yeah?

MATT: Yeah, there you go, back in your shoulder.

LIAM: Oh, come here you. You are the most important member of this team and don't let Beauregard tell you different. Or Nott.

MARISHA: Do you ever feel like your relationship with your cat is hindering building stronger relationships with human people?

SAM: I've told him that a lot of times.

MARISHA: I feel concerned about you sometimes.

LIAM: Yeah, that is so silly, isn't it? Silly, yes it is.

SAM: Tell us what he found!

LIAM: He found the boat, Nott. he found the boat. He will lead us to the boat. He found it. He did it.

SAM: That's great.

TRAVIS: That is great news. Does anybody not want to join? Really? You want to stay up here?

SAM: How far down is it?

LIAM: It's the bottom of the ocean.

SAM: And how far is that?

LIAM: It's thousands of feet.

LAURA: No, it wasn't a thousand.

LIAM: Thousands of feet.

MATT: Over an hour.

SAM: Ugh, fuck that. No way!

MATT: Like, just barely. From the distance where you are now. It'd be just under a thousand if you were right over, but you're not entirely certain how far. The boat isn't set for that currently.

LIAM: You have a method to bring us down there.

SAM: What is this method?

LIAM: Describe it to me. I've read a bit. Explain it to the goblin.

TRAVIS: I'll cast a little-- on you and for 24 hours, you can breathe underwater freely.

LIAM: That is a whole day.

SAM: But you still have to move through the water, you still have to swim through it--

TRAVIS: Yeah. You could hold onto my shoulders if you wanted to.

MARISHA: Could we give ourselves some weights to get us down there?

MATT: You've got weight.

MARISHA: Concrete shoes!

SAM: Sounds terrifying.

TRAVIS: Actually, we could take a few of the cannonballs to just--

MARISHA: We should have weights that weigh us down there.

LAURA: Will the breathing underwater, will that make it to where our ears won't hurt really bad? Because I hear when you go down underwater, your ears hurt really bad.

TRAVIS: That's because of the air. You're going to have to equalize.

SAM: Your ears hurt bad too? Jesus.

TRAVIS: But if you're breathing water, there's no air to expand or contract.

MARISHA: Won't you crush under the pressure of the water after a certain point?.

TRAVIS: After a certain depth. There's only one way to find out.

LIAM: Now, you people have not read about-- you don't understand magic. It's not like that. I want to try this.

TRAVIS: I know. I do, too. Those that want to join, join me at the rail. I'll jump on and sit on the rail.

LAURA: No, wait! We have to get a good night's sleep. We just used all of our spells finding this shit!

MARISHA: Oh yeah. That's a good point.

TALIESIN: Let's have them. Let's tell the crew what's up. Early in the morning, at first light.

LIAM: It's too late. Fjord's in the water, swimming around.

MARISHA: Caduceus, you making breakfast?

TALIESIN: I'm always making breakfast. I'm not going to even use the weird plants.

MARISHA: I'll get up for Caduceus' breakfast.

TALIESIN: I've been putting that weird fruit in everyone's food for a week now, by the way. Just so we're clear.

LIAM: In minimal amounts, or full dose?

MATT: The stuff that you found at Urukayxl?

TALIESIN: Just kidding, but wouldn't that be great?

MATT: That would be amazing

TALIESIN: Everyone's just be like, "Wow!"

LIAM: There was no battle. There was no battle with Avantika, man!

TRAVIS: We're not on the boat, we're in sand.

LAURA: There's no nothing.

LIAM: We're sitting in your mom's sitting room right now.

MATT: You look up and on the side, there's the Plank King and Avantika looking at him. He's like, "Where you'd find these people?"

(laughter)

MATT: All right, so you guys have another night's rest. As you wake up the next morning, it is raining. There appears to be a small storm making its way in there.

MARISHA: Are the fish out? Fish always come out when it rains.

MATT: Well, once you make it in the ocean, you'll find out. Noticeably, Yasha is energized with the coming of the storm. Seems to be in more energetic spirits than you're used to seeing her. You guys complete your meal for breakfast. You gather your supplies. What are you going to do?

TRAVIS: I'll leave Orly in command while we head under. To complete this spell, I'm going to need everyone to hold hands in a circle.

MARISHA: I would like to sing a little Kumbaya song and refresh everybody on the Diver's Grave, which is where we are.

SAM: Are you going to sing that Diver's Grave song?

MARISHA: (singing) Kumbaya, the cursed woman--

LAURA: (singing) Dashilla the Dreadful--

MARISHA: (singing) Kumbaya Dashilla, Dashilla with claws that grasp.

TRAVIS: Do we need to have the rights to that song?

MARISHA: (singing) Oh god I hope not.

LAURA: (singing) And a hungry eye.

MARISHA: (singing) She's got a hungry eye and with a lantern light. Dashilla, the cursed woman, treasures in her eyes.

SAM: This is nice.

TRAVIS: Uh-huh. Cool.

MARISHA: (singing) Dashilla the cursed.

LIAM: I am casting Mage Armor during whatever the fuck this is.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: That was good.

MARISHA: I'm just saying.

LAURA: Did you give us anything for that? Did we get bonuses or did we just get to hear you sing?

MARISHA: No, that was Keyleth. Sorry.

LAURA: It was literally just Beau singing.

MARISHA: Just me trying to do--

TRAVIS: Well, while it's happening, because it was such a good song, I will cast Underwater Breathing on all seven of us.

MARISHA: My song was that good.

MATT: All right, all of you now have the capability for the next 24 hours to breathe underwater. Your lungs feel heavier than they do while you breathe air. It's unique. No gills sprout from the side of your neck, per se, but the air itself seems to have a weight to it, and you're like (exhales). It's still breathable air, but the process seems to have changed a bit.

LIAM: It's the abyss.

MARISHA: In preparation for this, I went and I gathered a few sandbags. Took some burlap, filled them with--

MATT: There's no sand to fill them with out in the ocean, unfortunately.

MARISHA: Uh-huh.

TRAVIS: Cannonballs?

MARISHA: Okay, yeah sure. I got the eight-pounders.

SAM: You have to clear that with me.

MARISHA: I brought out a few-- but look, I'm the barrel person.

MATT: As a note, too, when the Squalleater came to port that night, Darktow was resupplied with cannonballs on board. For those who are keeping track, which would be--

SAM: Me!

MATT: You. The ship currently has a cache of 30 cannonballs.

SAM: Nice. How many are you taking?

TRAVIS: Well, we could just use four and have two people hold on to the same cannonball.

LIAM: Yeah, that makes sense. Nott and I are sharing one.

MATT: Okay. You maneuver the boat slowly also closer to where Frumpkin saw because when Frumpkin found it, it was at an angle away from you, which is how it was just beyond the range of a thousand feet. Moving over, it's probably close to 700 feet below.

LIAM: So Frumpkin is pinwheeling in front of all of us leading the way.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: I don't suppose we have 700 feet of rope on this ship, do we?

LAURA: Probably not.

SAM: We have an anchor. It can only go down so far, but I don't know how--

MARISHA: That's true. How far does the anchor go?

SAM: 200 feet? 100 feet?

MATT: It's not going to go that far.

LIAM: No, ships don't go to anchor in the middle of the ocean. They just float.

TRAVIS: If you're ready, take a seat on the rail and I'll hop up and put my butt out towards the sea.

LAURA: It's going to be dark down there.

MARISHA: Do we have light spells?

LAURA: I don't.

TRAVIS: Yasha does.

TALIESIN: I do.

LIAM: (popping)

MATT: Dancing Lights. You cast Light on?

TALIESIN: On my staff.

MATT: Yasha casts Light on her sword, the Magician's Judge.

SAM: I need a minute!

TRAVIS: You need a minute?

SAM: I'm going to drink heavily.

MATT: To the point where you're intoxicated?

SAM: To the point of intoxication.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: That's important because I switched the Transmuter's Stone away from darkvision, so I cannot see in low light, so it's got to be guiding lights for me.

LAURA: I'm going to take Sprinkle out of my hood--

TRAVIS: Ah, smart.

MARISHA: Oh, buddy.

MATT: This poor little-- it's better over the days that it's been able to spend with you since Darktow, but this ferret's been through quite a few experiences.

LAURA: You're like a super ferret. You're like the strongest little animal I've ever seen. I mean, really.

MATT: (ferret chattering) Then he curls up. He hears a loud noise (startled chittering).

TALIESIN: Scarred for life.

TRAVIS: He's just fucked.

LAURA: Orly?

MARISHA: He's a rescue.

MATT: "Hmm?" I can't remember which eye it is anymore. I'll have to go check. "Mmm?"

LAURA: Do you like weasels?

SAM: That's a weird opener.

TALIESIN: It never ends well. There's no right answer to that question.

MATT: "Why?"

LAURA: I have a weasel and I don't want to take him underwater.

TALIESIN: Water weasel.

MATT: You watch as Orly's head retracts into the shell slightly with this look of--

LAURA: Orly.

MATT: Marius steps up and goes like, "I'm happy to look after him. Actually been quite a while since I've seen a pet."

MARISHA: Wait. Who said that?

SAM and MATT: Marius LePual.

MATT: Who you've dragged all the way from Nicodranas--

TRAVIS: But he's got a good tan now and some scars, his clothes are kind of fucked up.

LAURA: He's like Guy Threepwood now.

MATT: He does look a little more ocean-wearied. As prim and proper and put together as Marius was at Nicodranas, he's definitely rocking more of a Pirates of Penzance thing now.

LIAM: He went from level two to three. Doing good.

LAURA: You'll take good care of him?

MATT: "Of course!"

LAURA: If you don't, I will know and I will give you a tattoo. If you do take good care of him, though, I will give you a better tattoo.

MATT: "Are those the only options?"

LAURA: I mean, if you want.

MATT: "Okay. Hello-- oh!" (nervous laughter)

LAURA: He likes to eat fruit. He likes to eat cheese. He likes to eat bugs.

MATT: "Right."

SAM: I think we only have the one food that you've been creating on the ship.

LAURA: He likes it if you talk to him.

TALIESIN: We have bugs and cheese.

LAURA: Yeah, we got bugs and cheese.

MATT: "Okay. Well, come. Let's get you some cheese and-- oh, that's my hand you're peeing in, okay."

TALIESIN: We always got bugs and cheese, man.

MATT: He carries him off. All right, you gather your supplies, you gather your cannonballs.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

TRAVIS: On the count of three, when you're ready, you'll lean backwards off the rail and fall into the water.

LAURA: On the count of three, when you're ready.

MATT: As it stands, the cannonballs are smooth, solid metal. How are you bringing them down with you?

TALIESIN: There's a couple of options here.

LAURA: We're going to hold on to the sides.

TALIESIN: Well, we want to be able to carry them so if we have some small bags maybe?

MARISHA: Like rope or chain? Oh! Yeah.

TALIESIN: We can just put them in a bag that we can hold.

MATT: That can be done. You do have a few sacks.

LIAM: They're iron, right? I would say that with Nott piggybacking, Caleb would take his dagger and transmute it into iron to meld with the cannonball and grip it that way.

TRAVIS: Ooh, make a little handle.

MATT: I'll allow it, yeah.

LIAM: Thanks.

MATT: As you place the dagger against it, there's a brief moment where the dagger seems to shift energy and you slip it inside of it and at that point, the handle is now solid with the cannonball, so one cannonball has a handle. Another one, a sack around it. Actually, a few of them you can put sacks around it, so--

TRAVIS: You want to share a cannonball, Jester?

LAURA: Sure, Fjord.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MARISHA: Cad, you and me? What's Yasha doing, is she coming with us or is she invigorated by the storm?

TRAVIS: She gets her own cannonball because she's--

MATT: Yeah, she's coming with you.

TRAVIS: Yeah, she's just like that. Just holding it like a beast.

LIAM: Palming it.

MARISHA: Yeah. Globetrotters.

TRAVIS: Ready? One, two, three.

LAURA: Oh god!

SAM: (screaming)

MATT: You splash and break the surface of the ocean. As you all begin to sink slowly beneath the waves, the light begins to get darker and darker the further down you pass. The shades of green-blue begin to turn to a deep green-brown, and even that light begins to fade, just having the few points of light that you are bringing along with yourselves towards the bottom of the ocean.

TRAVIS: I try to catch Nott. How is she doing?

SAM: Eyes totally closed.

TRAVIS: Are you breathing well? I give her a--

MATT: Nott has not taken a breath yet, actually.

TRAVIS: International sign for breathe.

MATT: You get to a point, Nott, where your lungs hurt so much you cannot help but breathe in, and there is a moment of panic as suddenly water rushes into your lungs and the nightmare you've had many times kicks in.

TRAVIS: Actually, that means go down.

SAM: Shit.

MATT: It takes a little bit to adjust and anxiety is still spiked in you, but you begin to find yourself breathing water in and out-- like thicker air, but still air-- and it's more comfortable than you expected.

LAURA: Can we talk down here?

MATT: You can.

LAURA: We can?

MATT: It doesn't have the same volume you do above water, which means you can cast spells underwater without issue.

LIAM: We can?

MATT: Yes, same as you had before. It carries vibration and sound travels far, but it loses enunciation at longer distances, but you can hear voices longer.

LIAM: There are four globules of light slowly circling around.

SAM: (gurgling) When we get back to the surface, I will kill you.

MARISHA: That was pretty good, though.

MATT: Oh, this is going to be awful.

TRAVIS: (gurgling) Well listen, Nott, as long as we're down here--

LIAM: Cannot do that joke anymore. That joke has past.

MATT: Your feet find the bottom of the ocean after minutes. Ten minutes. Who knows how much time has passed? It seemed longer than you expected until you eventually you hit the bottom of the ocean.

MARISHA: Look up. What do I see?

MATT: You see the faint bit of light above where it marks where the sunlight is hitting the waves, but it's an impossible distance from you from this perspective. There are heavy, slowly shifting arms, waving tassels of kelp and sea vegetation slightly drifting and moving with every faint bit of water that gets maneuvered through with each wave and push as it goes, and you can feel it move you a few inches and you have to readjust as each one pushes through.

LAURA: It's like another world.

MATT: You realize there shouldn't be waves this deep necessarily.

MARISHA: Where are they coming from?

MATT: You glance over and watch as a large creature is not that far away from you.

LAURA: I cast Pass Without a Trace on all of us.

TALIESIN: I dim the light.

LIAM: Can't see anymore.

MATT: You hear a faint (whale singing) and glance over the left. You can see a whale making its way through the water about 50, 60 feet from you.

LIAM: I can't see shit.

MATT: Not with a--

MARISHA: I put my goggles on by the way--

LIAM: You're good. I'm blind and are you blind?

MATT: He still has the light. You can still see; Caduceus and Yasha still have the light on their weapons.

TALIESIN: My weapon glows but I did snuff it down. I was waiting until we knew that we were okay. I move my light over to him.

MATT: The whale continues on, slowly moving, not really acknowledging your presence. You can see two other smaller whales alongside it.

TRAVIS: Aww, baby calves.

TALIESIN: Hey. Technically they can understand me.

MATT: Everyone make an investigation check. This will be perception. Underwater, perception.

SAM: Disadvantage!

MATT: Yep.

MARISHA: Natural one.

TRAVIS: 19.

LIAM: Nine.

SAM: Four.

LAURA: 14.

TALIESIN: At disadvantage?

SAM: No. Just me.

TALIESIN: Oh, 16.

MATT: Roll for Yasha as well.

TRAVIS: Five for her.

MATT: Oof. All right, overall party: not so great. It takes you a little while, about two to three hours of searching the bottom of the ocean. You're starting to get a little hungry again from all the strenuous activity of moving and dragging these cannonballs with you to keep you weighted down so you can step across the surface. You come past some deep sea corals and beautiful colorful visions and schools of fish scooting and coasting around. At one point, they swarm past you, and you feel them tickling past your torso before they skitter past. Eventually, this lift begins to descend into a small bowl or at least a point where the shelf begins to head in a downward direction at a decline. Within the next 15 or so minutes of traveling in that direction, you see the outline of a familiar ship.

TRAVIS: I push forward towards it. Point and start to swim.

MATT: All right. As you all gather in behind Fjord making your way in the direction of this long forgotten shipwreck, we'll pick it up there next week.

(groaning)

Post-Show
MATT: You'll find out next week!

SAM: Oh my god, Matt.

MARISHA and TRAVIS: What a game!

MATT: That was a good session, guys.

LIAM: One of the best ever. So many great games!

MATT: That went some interesting places. There's a number of scenarios that didn't happen.

TRAVIS: There was a number of scenarios that didn't happen?

SAM: I feel like there was so much more on the island that we did not--

MATT: There's a lot more on that island.

SAM: There's Allison, there was shit alleys, and there was all kinds of fun stuff.

TALIESIN: Just because we're banished doesn't mean we're never going back.

MARISHA: We keep pissing off the towns.

TALIESIN: Oh, I'm so sorry. Like a cop said "you're trespassing" and now we're just going to never trespass again?

TRAVIS: Well said.

MATT: Yes, we're not because we're law abiding citizens.

MARISHA: I was going to say, when you go into a convenience store and it's got the "Have you seen this person?"

LIAM: This campaign is a social experiment.

MATT: Oh yeah. This has gone really interesting, fun places. Well, thank you guys. I'm excited to pick this up next week at the shipwreck. Thank you guys for tuning in. Yeah, I missed this-- two weeks off and suddenly--

LIAM: All the dead.

TALIESIN: We were freaking out all for two weeks straight.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: You guys had some good, solid plans.

MARISHA: Our plan was okay.

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: That was entirely worth the amount of data it took up on my phone.

LIAM: It worked.

TRAVIS: I think all anyone asked is for some slight improvements in our planning over the years. Slight improvements.

LIAM: Yeah, it worked.

MATT: Man, most of D&D; is about plans that go fucking tits up the minute you try and talk about it. Everyone is like, "Oh, they planned so terribly." Every D&D; game, everyone plans terribly. Sometimes plans go great, and those are the ones you remember when you compare it to other people. "Oh, we're great planners. Remember that two times over the past 18 years we played where our plans went great? Those are the times we'll always bring up and judging other people's plans." Yeah, everyone has some good plans every now and then. More often than not, plans go pretty shitty and that's fun. Anyway, thank you all for coming and watching along with us after the two week break. Thank you D&D; Beyond for being our amazing friends and sponsors. We'll see you in a week and remember we love you all--

LIAM: (creepy voice) Is it Thursday yet? (growling)

MARISHA: You did this.

SAM: Yeah, I did.

MARISHA: This is you.

SAM: Sorry.

LIAM: I'm so upset. (normal voice) Take it away, Matt.

MATT: Is it Thursday yet? Good night, everybody.

(laughter)