Transcript:The Tunnels Below

List of Transcripts

Pre-Show
MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

ALL: (hollering) We play Dungeons & Dragons!

MATT: Yep, that. Before we get into tonight's session, we do have some announcements to get through, beginning with our first sponsor, Quip. Sam!

SAM: Guys, let me tell you about Quip, the good habits company, and their smart electric toothbrushes. These awesome brushes have all the guiding features of their original, with a new Bluetooth smart motor that connects to the free Quip app, so you can track your brushing, get tips and daily coaching, earn rewards like Target gift cards for good habits, as simple as brushing two minutes, twice a day. Yes, you can earn rewards for brushing your teeth. This is a real thing. They even sent me a free Quip toothbrush to try out. I got to be honest, I love it so much, I'm going to get rid of my old one. In fact, this might be kind of tough, but in fairness to my old brush, I got to come clean and make it official. (light, sentimental music) Brushy, listen, we've had some good years together, but I think it's time-- God, this is harder than I thought it would be. (laughter)

SAM: It's time for us to break up. Look, when we got together, it was exciting and different and wild, right? But I don't know, over the years, the electricity sort of faded, you know? (groaning)

SAM: You remember that time I had a real tough show? I know, it sounded weird, me having a bad night, but I needed you badly that night, and you said you needed to recharge. I know it happens to all the toothbrushes, but does it? Does it? Sometimes I just want to be gently caressed, but you're so loud, it's kind of a mood killer, you know? Look, you're still an amazing brush, just not for my mouth. The truth is, I met someone new and Quip is just, we click, you know? Like if I want to go on a weekend trip, Quip's like, "Yeah, let's go!" But with you, it was always like, "Oh wait, I got to pack all my chargers and wires and accessories and stuff." I need spontaneity, Brushy.

TRAVIS: So many wires.

SAM: Listen. You were my first electric, and I'll still think about you every time I get salad stuck in my teeth.

TRAVIS: Is that an RCA cable?

SAM: But you-- Yes, it's an RCA cable. (laughter)

SAM: But you need to work on you. The excessive spending, the buzzing, the abrasive pressure. You need to get your head on straight. Nothing? Nothing, you're just going to look at me like that? You're just going to-- Don't you, don't you tempt me. Don't you-- Okay, fine, one more. (moans) Oh god, I feel so dirty now, ugh.

LAURA: I do, too.

SAM: Just leave, just go, and don't ever brush me again. Just go! (laughter)

SAM: Just go, keep going!

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

MATT: (laughs)

SAM: It's over. What, what's that? What's that, Quip toothbrush? You're right, you're right, I can be happier now. I can start getting rewards for brushing my teeth today by going to getquip.com/CriticalRole25 and saving 25% sitewide when I use the code CriticalRole25. That's no joke, 25% off sitewide right now. So thanks to Get Quip for supporting the show. Oh, Quip, I, I--

LAURA: No.

MARISHA: He's going to do it again.

LAURA and ASHLEY: Don't do it!

SAM: I'll be back in two minutes.

TRAVIS: It only takes two, huh? (laughter)

LIAM: What's weird is, he gave me that same speech two years ago with the discount code included. (laughter)

LIAM: It didn't make sense at the time, but he plays the long game.

MATT: Yeah, sometimes it's the hindsight that really brings everything into focus. I'm glad our tech budget has improved to the level of the can of corn from Wet Hot American Summer, we're on the level. Thank you, Quip, thank you, Sam. Take your time, it deserves it.

SAM: (moans) (groaning)

MATT: Tonight's episode is also sponsored by our friends at Bandai Namco and their brand new, highly anticipated action RPG, Elden Ring. Oh my god. I'm excited, can't you tell? Not as excited as him, with his new toothbrush, but close.

ASHLEY: He's probably onto the second round by now.

LIAM: Bandai Namco never got a lead-in like that, never ever!

MATT: No, that's private. A new world created by Hidetaka Miyazaki and George R. R. Martin, Elden Ring is a massive, interconnected adventure with countless secrets to uncover and multiple gameplay options from single player to co-op or PVP. That's right, the classic Soulsborne, you know, jumping into people's games and fucking it up scenario resides.

LAURA: It resides.

MATT: It resides. The game is amazingly tailored to your own desires, with a ton of customization and crafting elements, and the original system allows for any player to forge their own unique adventure based on your personal ambitions and choices. The game is available on all platforms, and you can learn a lot more and play it right now at Bitly, bit.ly/CREldenRing. If you missed our Elden Ring one-shot with myself, Marisha, Sam, and special guests Brennan Lee Mulligan, Krystina Arielle, and Alexander Ward, be sure to check it out on our YouTube channel. Thank you so much to Bandai Namco for supporting the show. This next announcement, I believe is yours, Marisha.

MARISHA: Yeah, yes.

TRAVIS: Good luck playing next to that tonight.

MARISHA: Hi Sam. We are celebrating our seven-year anniversary-- (cheering)

MARISHA: -- in just a few weeks. It's on Thursday, March 17th. Join us online on Twitch or YouTube for our 17th episode, how weird is that, of our Bells Hells campaign per usual, or, if you would like, you can join your own local Critter community in select Cinemark, Landmark, and Cinépolis locations across the United States.

SAM: Really?

MARISHA: Really! But wait, there's more! For the very first time ever, we are partnered with Cinemark in Brazil to bring the big screen experience to select theaters in São Paolo and Rio de Janeiro.

MATT: That's--

MARISHA: -- pretty awesome. Brazil. We got you, we see you, Brazil. For all the details, please check out critrole.com/seven that's critrole.com slash S-E-V-E-N. Liam, save me.

LIAM: I got you more right here! It's time for comic book news! (cheering)

LIAM: The Tales of Exandria number four, such a beautiful run, and Vox Machina: Origins number six releases this month and are the final issues of their series. The collected versions are both available for pre-order right now. For the most up-to-date information on our comic book releases with our friends at Dark Horse, check out critrole.com/darkhorseguide.

ALL: (whispers) Dark Horse Guide.

LIAM: (horse whinnying)

TRAVIS: Oh yeah.

MATT: That was a lot. Thank you, Liam. All righty, I believe that concludes our announcements for the evening. So let us go ahead and jump into this episode of Critical Role.

♪ Critical ♪ ♪ Critical ♪ ♪ It's Thursday ♪ ♪ It's Thursday night! ♪

ASHLEY: ♪ One-by-one, we climb until we reach the top. ♪ ♪ Two-by-two, we fall. ♪

LAURA: ♪ Will we meet our end or meet our destiny? ♪ ♪ Hold your breath and roll! ♪

MATT: How do you want to do this?

ALL: ♪ It's Thursday night ♪ ♪ All ye Critters, come join us ♪ ♪ It's time to continue our plight ♪ ♪ There is magic and mystery ♪ ♪ Who knows what will happen? ♪ ♪ He might! ♪ ♪ But one thing's for sure, ♪ ♪ We never give up on the fight! ♪

TRAVIS: ♪ From the healer ♪

LIAM: ♪ To the renegade ♪

MATT: ♪ We all share the same goal ♪

MATT and TALIESIN: ♪ Adding more allies ♪ ♪ Taking more chances ♪

SAM: ♪ Hold your breath and roll ♪

MARISHA: You can certainly try.

ALL: ♪ It's Thursday night ♪ ♪ All ye Critters, come join us ♪ ♪ It's time to continue our plight ♪ ♪ It's Thursday night. ♪ ♪ There is magic and mystery ♪ ♪ From darkness, our friendship will rise ♪ ♪ But one thing's for sure: ♪ ♪ We never give up on the fight ♪ ♪ Oh, get ready, ♪ ♪ Get ready, ♪ ♪ It's Thursday night! ♪

(flames whooshing)

Part I
MATT: And welcome back. So, last we left off, Bells Hells, since we have a name now. (cheering)

MARISHA: Look at us!

MATT: Had quite an eventful evening at the Quorum's event here at the top of the Core Spire, where there were fights. There were dances. There was subterfuge. There was encounters with monsters in the middle of the night. There were arrests. There were escapes. As you all rushed back to the abode of Lord Eshteross, it became quickly apparent that Dorian's brother, Cyrus, had fucked up so deeply that both him and his brother have to skip town. With Eshteross' help, they were both given passage onto his personal sky ship, which had just finished coming into port and offloading its goods, and decided to send it over toward Tal'Dorei, at Dorian's request, where he feels he has some familiar friends to lay low with and hopefully figure out a way to fix these troubles from afar. In the interim, you had your own challenges to look towards, your own mysteries and dangers that lie ahead. As you watched him leave in the wee hours of the morning, you all went back to rest and decide what the next path lay for you. So, first off, you all can take your long rest.

TRAVIS and LIAM: Hey!

SAM: I need it.

TRAVIS: Oh my god. Bleeding out of my nose.

MATT: You all come to consciousness in the--

LAURA: We leveled up, too, on the last game?

MATT: No.

LAURA: Okay.

ASHLEY: Oh.

MATT: Nah.

ASHLEY: I did.

MATT: Good try.

LAURA: (giggles) Just trying to speed run it now? Is that where we're at? (laughter)

TRAVIS: Where are we? I don't even remember.

MATT: But you all crashed at the Eshteross Manor.

TRAVIS: Oh, that's right.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: The chambers here, not terribly comfortable. There haven't really been guests here probably in a decade or more. The layers of dusts are thick and the accommodations require preparation to ensure that they aren't deadly when being walked through. But eventually after a long, intense night, you all begin to come from your rest, wake up, then gather down for a breakfast meal that is being prepared by Evelyn, the assistant to Lord Eshteross. As you all begin to gather, you can ruminate on what has transpired and what lies ahead. Eshteross has not joined you yet. It's just Evelyn, in the process of getting food prepared for you all. You begin to gather at the table there in the main dining chamber.

ASHLEY: What kind of food is it?

MATT: This would be mostly a collection of poached eggs. There would be some croissant-type baked goods. There's some light brown rice mixed with a spicy sauce. You can't quite place it. It's quite nice, if a little cobbled together with the unexpected volume of people staying over.

TRAVIS: I'm so fucking hungry.

LAURA: What a night.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it was a lot.

ASHLEY: What a night.

MARISHA: Didn't really eat much, now that you mention it. Why don't they serve-- No, never mind.

TRAVIS: Hmm?

MARISHA: Nothing. Just reminiscing.

TRAVIS: Do you think there are deadly implements in this room? Like, in the dining room?

LAURA: Definitely. Yeah, didn't we find some hidden before?

ASHLEY: I think so, yes.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: I guess every room in the house.

TRAVIS: That's amazing.

TALIESIN: I'm going to look under the table.

MATT: Okay. You look under the table and there are two leather straps that are bolted in from underneath, one that contains a small buckler short shield, at quick grasp. The other has a thick, meaty, shortsword that's sharpened to an infinite point.

MARISHA: Amazing.

TRAVIS: Fucking awesome.

MATT: They're just at the ready and they're both right underneath where his usual dining seat is.

LAURA: So cool.

TALIESIN: Gum, lots of gum.

TRAVIS: Really?

TALIESIN: Yeah. It's gross.

TRAVIS: I would expect more from a guy his class. What if he has a panic room?

MARISHA: Yeah. That tracks.

ASHLEY: Like where he goes to panic?

LAURA: Yeah, just like...

ASHLEY: (quiet scream)

TRAVIS: A secret switch or something and a panel opens, and then you're in there and you're like, Fuck off! I'm safe.

ASHLEY: Whoa.

TRAVIS: Yep.

TALIESIN: This feels like a panic house. So there would be a panic room in the panic house.

LAURA: If we ever have a meltdown, I think this is the place to go.

TALIESIN: Oh, no. I'm into it.

MARISHA: I mean, I feel like we did a little last night.

LAURA: How are y'all doing, by the way? You and Orym? I mean, I know you've been attached to the hip with Dorian this whole time, so.

ASHLEY: I'm just fine. I couldn't sleep very well, but I'm okay.

LIAM: Yeah, felt a little empty. I don't know. I guess we'll see. We've been together for months, so it does feel... It feels like he's still here, in a way.

SAM: You all normally snuggle up together when you sleep, don't you?

ASHLEY: Well, we did when we were on the road, just for saving money and--

LIAM: Yeah, we would just pile up by a tree and then just kept it up.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

SAM: It must be lonesome without him.

MARISHA: If you want to share a bed with Imogen and I, I'm--

LAURA: You're more than welcome.

ASHLEY: Oh, yeah.

MARISHA: Quite a good snuggle buddy.

ASHLEY: I'm actually pretty, pretty warm, my bottom half.

LAURA: Oh, yeah!

MARISHA: Oh, see I'm I'm pretty cold, so maybe together--

ASHLEY: I could just put my legs.

MARISHA: Nice! I'll keep you cool. You'll keep me warm.

ASHLEY: Great. Just have a cuddle pile.

LIAM: Orym's just looking up the three giant women. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Bit of a handful.

TALIESIN: Oh, for fuck's sake. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Don't worry if you're missing too much, I put an arcane jewel actually inside of the little wooden ship. So at some point in time, it's going to explode. If it injures the person too much, they bamf right back to me. So I could laugh at them before they perish. So don't worry.

SAM: Lovely.

TRAVIS: Yeah. I just wanted to make sure he thinks of us.

LAURA: I'm going to insight check.

MATT: Go for it. Make an insight check.

TALIESIN: I'm just going to choose to believe this. That's great.

LIAM: No way. Oh, it's just a 14.

LAURA: 10, I got 10.

TRAVIS: I'm sure he still has it, too, so we're set. (laughter) (laughter)

TRAVIS: Wood only! (laughter)

TRAVIS: Oh, speaking of which, I finished yours last night.

SAM: Oh! Presents.

TRAVIS: Here you go. I thought of you, because it just seems like the perfect thing. But after that beat down, I just want to let you know that you're number one in my book. Here, this is for Ashton.

LIAM: Is there a practical application for that?

SAM: Wow!

TALIESIN: If you haven't thought of it, then you probably don't want it.

LIAM: I have, but I'm just hoping for a more up and up answer.

TALIESIN: It's pretty up and up.

LAURA: It's about the size of Orym's hand.

TRAVIS: You can put the middle digit back up. It was really more for that. Oh, or the horns, yeah.

TALIESIN: I like that there are options, to be honest.

SAM: Are you doing the shocker?

LAURA: Yeah, that's what I was going to--

ASHLEY: One in the shocker, one in the-- What do they say?

MARISHA: That's not how that works.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Shout at the devil.

LIAM: That is what Imogen does when she blasts people.

LAURA: I shocker people. There you go.

SAM: Now you got it right.

LIAM: I'm going to pass.

SAM and MATT: (laugh)

LAURA: Is that--

TRAVIS: It's looking real weird now. Maybe it's just, you know, you're messing with the art form.

TALIESIN: It's got to open up. Hold on.

LAURA: Well, it depends.

SAM: You know, every region has its own shocker. (laughter)

SAM: They're region specific.

TALIESIN: This is very impressive.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Oh shit.

LAURA: When are we getting our shit?

TALIESIN: I just thought of some great stuff to do with this. I'm so excited.

SAM: This is fine craftsmanship. You can't rush this.

TRAVIS: You can't rush it. Thank you so much, F.C.G. Some of these things take time, so you can appreciate it.

LAURA: All right.

TRAVIS: Youngin.

LAURA: You better be working on it every single night.

TRAVIS: I am. I'm literally bathing of wood chips.

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Which is the only way to go. It traps heat very well, and collects odor.

MATT: Actually, it would be both Fearne and Orym be the only two to clock the relatively quiet arrival of Lord Eshteross. He's wearing a pair of warm-- That's perfect. Warm leather and fur boots for the early cold morning.

LIAM: Is he wearing UGGs?

MATT: Essentially, yeah. Yeah, fantasy UGGs. (laughter)

LAURA: I love it.

MATT: Yes.

LAURA: He's my favorite person ever.

MATT: They are comfortable. They don't match the rest of his outfit, but they also keep his approach relatively quiet. As he steps into the chamber with his-- You two notice, as he enters the chamber, you didn't hear any cane sounds walking along and then you begin to hear them as he arrives. There's definitely an intentional quiet arrival before he enters the chamber. "Good morning, friends."

LAURA: Morning.

TRAVIS: Morning.

SAM: Morning to you.

MATT: "I take it you rested well."

LAURA: As well as could be.

MATT: "Understood."

ASHLEY: Your approach was very quiet.

MATT: "Some habits die hard, and I myself wish to be difficult to kill, so."

ASHLEY: Oh!

SAM: It seems like-- Sorry, go on. No, I was going to say, just between all the traps around this place, and sometimes your stealth-like behavior, it seems like there's lots of folks trying to maybe kill you? Or at least that's what you believe. Do you know who's out there trying to off you, or is it just a general suspicion?

MATT: "It is a-- Both a general suspicion and a handful of people I have parted ways with in the past in not the most friendly manner."

TRAVIS: Oh shit. Do you have a top three that we should keep an eye out for?

SAM: Yeah. Especially if we're moving about the town. It might help us to know who to avoid or--

MATT: "Honestly, the least you know, the better. In fact, I think bringing you into this circle, one is able to cause you more discomfort than ever. Plausible deniability and all that."

TRAVIS: Oh, shit.

LAURA: Sorry for the uproar last night.

MARISHA: Yeah. I feel like we made quite the impression.

LIAM: Pulled it out of the fire in the end.

MATT: Leans over, takes a walnut, breaks it.

LAURA: We do need to be careful, though. Those guards were eyeing you at the end.

MARISHA: I sort of lost my cool, as they say, a little. I just don't like people fucking with friends and they were trying to go after Dorian.

LAURA: Yeah, you did what you had to.

MARISHA: I'm sorry.

TRAVIS: On a scale of one to 10, how high on the scale was that freak out, because you were flexing?

MARISHA: I was, I'd say a 7.5, maybe an eight.

TRAVIS: Goddamn.

LAURA: Pretty high. Pretty high.

MARISHA: 7.5. Seven. Eight.

TRAVIS: 7.8?

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: Oh, okay. It's very--

LIAM: 7.8, 7.6, 7.5.

TALIESIN: High C. Okay.

MARISHA: Well--

TALIESIN: No, low B, high B. I don't know.

SAM: I know we didn't accomplish all of the things that we were supposed to.

LAURA: We got a good idea, though.

TALIESIN: Pretty good.

SAM: Did we?

LAURA: And we got his ring on his finger.

SAM: We did that.

LIAM: Is Fearne still wearing--

MATT: "That is important."

SAM: Yeah, we got to follow up with that, right?

LAURA: Yeah. I mean, well--

TALIESIN: We also found out that the Paragon's Call is involved with the Nightmare King, so that's nice.

LAURA: That's right.

SAM: Yes, yes.

TRAVIS: Do we still have his old ring?

ASHLEY: Yes.

TRAVIS: Should we get rid of it?

LIAM: Fearne's been wearing it since we left.

TRAVIS: Right. I mean, can you track objects in this world?

MATT: "Yes, you very much can."

ASHLEY: Well, what are you going to do with it, though?

MATT: "Melt it down."

LAURA: Well, why don't you just let F.C.G. eat it?

ASHLEY: Do you think it's magical in any way or is it just a ring?

TALIESIN: One way to find out.

MATT: He goes and reaches into his robe and pulls out-- There's a small-- like a pocket watch with a chain attached to it, but instead it's a singular, red ruby lens, like a monocle that's dark red and he puts it over his eye and you see it flicker for a second.

LIAM: I want that.

MATT: "It is not."

LAURA: It's not magical?

TALIESIN: I was just going to hit it, but that works, too.

ASHLEY: It's not magical. So should we just feed it? Are you hungry?

MATT: "If you will destroy the ring, then by all means."

TRAVIS: Cracklin' oat bran. Yeah!

MARISHA: Cling, cling, cling.

ASHLEY: How does it taste?

LIAM: Throw it in the robot, Mr. Frodo!

SAM: There's a little sweat on it. You know what? I've never tasted anything before, so I'm just going to imagine what it tastes like.

ASHLEY: Okay.

SAM: It's a little bit nutty, and it's got a smooth mouth feel.

ASHLEY: Okay. Smooth body.

SAM: It's salty, but also a little bit sweet, and it's got an umami thing going on.

ASHLEY: Ooh!

SAM: I think, I don't know what any of those flavors are.

LAURA: But you knew that salty went with umami, right?

SAM: I've heard people say those things before.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Why have I not been feeding you evidence for ages now?

SAM: Well.

TALIESIN: I really feel like this is on me. Oh god.

LIAM: How is your knowledge of wine?

SAM: Oh, I'm an expert. (laughter) No, no, I don't know. D-Dancer used to drink a lot. So, you know, I could probably fake an order, but I wouldn't know what good wine is.

MARISHA: It's what most people do when they order wine, from what I hear.

SAM: Yeah, they just stare at it a while, swish it around and just say, "Mm, I like this nose."

MARISHA: Nailed it.

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: "Well, the placement of this ring is one great success. I can begin keeping watch on his movements throughout the city, should they begin to wander to a place of discomfort or unexpected dubiousness."

MARISHA: What exactly place is that?

MATT: "I do not know. That's why we are tracking to see where he goes."

MARISHA: Yeah, that's fair.

MATT: "As an individual of his import and his business, he would likely be traveling, for the most part just between his particular abode, various guild-adjacent areas. But if he begins to walk, an individual of his stature to places of darker ambition, lowly, well, more dangerous areas. I will keep an eye."

LAURA: He was at the party with Lady Emoth Kade, who turned into the jelly beast, so.

MATT: "Right."

TRAVIS: Jelly beast.

MATT: "So this is now two of these entities you've come across."

TRAVIS: Two?

MARISHA: Have you had them--

LAURA: Dugger. You weren't with us yet.

TRAVIS: Oh, I think I've heard you say that name once.

LAURA: Yeah. It was this dwarf guy who also turned into sludge.

LIAM: Super mucusy.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Same thing.

TRAVIS: Doesn't sound very dangerous. It's a joke.

ASHLEY: Do you know someone named Mistress Ivana Sheshadri?

MATT: "I do, yes."

ASHLEY: She was also talking with Treshi at some point. I don't know if that's--

LAURA: And Gavis.

ASHLEY: And Gavis. Then she went from Gavis to go talk to Treshi.

LAURA: They seemed intimidated by her. I feel like she's something important.

ASHLEY: So maybe we did get some inside scoop.

MATT: "Seshadri comes from a mid-level Mahaan house. I would not expect someone of their station to be involved in the Quorum, but that may be a good cover as well for anonymity. That's possible two members of the Quorum you've identified. That is useful. You think that they are in league with Armand?"

LIAM: A lot of chatter.

ASHLEY: It seemed like they were chummy.

MATT: "Hmm. (sighs) Well, if we are confirming Armand's position on the Quorum, best to our ability, the events of last night are likely to only bolster his argument for the calls and the statement for security here in the Wilds. Even so, I'm uncertain as to why he is so heavily invested in the private mercenary corporations. This-- Unless he has some deep monetary investment in them and wishes to see a return on this investment."

LAURA: I looked into his thoughts while he was dancing with Fearne. He did have a strong connection with the Nightmare King. He said he was getting sick of all these Fey creatures. He was very untrustworthy of them.

ASHLEY: I couldn't imagine why.

LAURA: Then Paragon's Call came to you--

TALIESIN: Yes, they did.

LAURA: Because you were dressed like the Nightmare King.

TALIESIN: Yes, they did.

MATT: "Interesting. So perhaps Treshi has gotten a bit deep with deals for a particular interest and was having a hard time untangling it."

TALIESIN: Could be.

MARISHA: If we find this Emoth, maybe we could get more answers.

MATT: "Where do you think this Emoth might be?"

MARISHA: Probably squeegeeing down a sewer right about now.

MATT: "That is disgusting."

LAURA: Yeah. She was calling for "mother."

ASHLEY: Oh, that's right.

MATT: "She was calling for a what?"

LAURA: Mother. Said something about mother healing her or...

MARISHA: She also mentioned working with Dugger as well, right?

SAM: We dispatched Dugger, right?

LAURA: We did, we did.

TALIESIN: Very.

MARISHA: But she...

LAURA: But she got away.

SAM: Both came from the tunnels that go to points below, when we--

LAURA: Both of them had the little shade creepers.

SAM: Were they both on the same spire or no?

LAURA: Uh, the Lantern, no, the Core Spire--

MARISHA: We were at the--

ASHLEY: The Core Spire is where Dugger--

LAURA: Yeah, the Core--

SAM: The ball was the Core.

LAURA: The ball was the Core and the--

ASHLEY: Dugger's home was the Core.

LAURA: Dugger's home was in the Core because it was right up the street from our house.

MATT: The first interaction we had with Dugger, if you recall, was in the Lantern Spire.

MARISHA: It was in the Lantern. Then he worked in the Smolder Spire--

MATT: He was seen going to the Smolder Spire to work, yes.

LAURA: So our house is in the Lantern, not the Core Spire?

MATT: Your house is in the Core Spire.

LAURA: Yeah, and we fought Dugger in the Core Spire?

MATT: You did.

MARISHA: Right.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: But the first time you encountered him, he was in the inn.

MARISHA: Was the Lantern Spire.

LIAM: Who was on first, though?

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: So there are tunnels in at least two or three spires. Maybe they connect.

TALIESIN: They've all got tunnels.

LIAM: They've got to.

LAURA: I bet there's something big underneath all of the spires.

MATT: "So a powerful noblewoman has been corrupted by the shade creepers. You battled with Lady Emoth and she escaped with the knowledge of what you look like."

LAURA: Yes.

TALIESIN: Uh-huh.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: What house is she from? What family is she with?

MATT: "I'm not terribly up to speed with the Kade home. They are a very minor Mahaan house that has been relatively fresh in the scene here. I believe they migrated away after the Apex War. It once belonged under the Stratos Throne. They come from the fields there which grows a bunch of cattle and sillgoats and things as such. But their business here has diverged from that. Those business interests were left behind. I was under the impression that they were looking for an in to begin to make a mark here, but themselves have been relatively on the outside, if you will."

LAURA: Did they leave the livestock thing behind on purpose?

MATT: "I do not know."

LAURA: It just strikes me that what was her name, Sheshandri?

ASHLEY: Orlana Seshadri.

LAURA: She's a livestock Mahaan, right?

MATT: "Indeed."

MARISHA: That's what she told me.

LAURA: So maybe they're connected in some way there?

MATT: "Or competitive, either way."

MARISHA: She was there working with Cyrus to rob from all of the families.

LAURA: There was something important, wasn't there? Something important they were trying to take. Did Cyrus say what it was? Did you ever get that information?

LIAM: Cyrus might not have known the full story.

TALIESIN: He got talked to mostly rather than talking at people.

MARISHA: How was your night?

TALIESIN: Well, General Ratanish made it very clear that he knows it was us that fucked up everything at the Nightmare King's lab.

TRAVIS: Us or you?

TALIESIN: Us.

TRAVIS: Oh.

TALIESIN: I don't think he's going to do anything about it. I don't think he's that interested. But he's certainly working for people who are.

ASHLEY: Do you think he would tell Treshi?

TALIESIN: I think Treshi-- I think they know, personally.

LIAM: Yeah, we're kind of-- I don't think they know about this, but--

ASHLEY: This, meaning?

LIAM: Yes.

TALIESIN: This arrangement.

TRAVIS: Then we need to keep an even lower profile than we were before.

LAURA: Great.

MATT: "Best to your ability."

TALIESIN: Who knew you could piss off so many people in one evening? It's fucking amazing.

SAM: You do that all the time.

TALIESIN: This feels like a record. Well no, I take that back. This feels like a record at the pure amount of money that somehow we have pissed off. Normally, the people I piss off don't have anything.

TRAVIS: There was a lot of money that exchanged hands, though. I think a lot of people made money off of you last night.

TALIESIN: That's fair. God, they could hire a lot of people to fuck with us, jesus.

MATT: "If we can keep an eye on Treshi's movements, if we can bring some sort of proof, catch him red handed in some way and bring this to... I have a few individuals here that may have adjacent connections to the Quorum. If we're able to oust Treshi as a bad faith member, especially with any sort of evidence."

MARISHA: What if he's not a bad faith member?

SAM: You mean what if the rest of the Quorum is going along with his plans as well?

MATT: "Then, the Wilds are fucked and we should abandon ship."

TRAVIS: Ah ha.

MARISHA: Oh.

MATT: "I tend to think that there is still-- This society is worth fighting for."

ASHLEY: That's so sweet.

MATT: "I--"

ASHLEY: That's very sweet.

MATT: "I cannot read if there is sarcasm dripping from your statement."

ASHLEY: Sorry, I interrupted. (laughter)

MATT: "Foolish as my optimism might be, I do know good people who tried to guide this town, this valley, the entire Wilds in a good direction, and many people rely on that good will. I think it's worth fighting for, and I refuse to believe that the good things that do happen in this city would happen should the entire Quorum be as corrupt as Armand. But I could be wrong. It would not be the first time."

MARISHA: It certainly wouldn't.

ASHLEY: Do you know of any entrances into the middle of the spires? Any way to get in there?

MATT: "Beyond these small passages that you've noticed them utilize for passage, your best bet would be either mining inward from the base of the spires, looking for mines that might push deeper into the spires."

TALIESIN: Neer-Matown? Maybe. I don't know.

MATT: "Which one?"

TRAVIS: Neer-Matown?

TALIESIN: Quarry, Smolder Spire.

MATT: "It's possible."

TALIESIN: I think I pronounced that right.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

TALIESIN: Yeah, Neer-Matown.

MATT: Yes.

TALIESIN: Okay.

LIAM: Did you get the sense when you were knocking around in his head that Treshi is feeling in over his? I'm sure making a grab for power, but is he getting more than he bargained for?

LAURA: He seemed uneasy. He didn't like the Nightmare King for sure. I wish I could remember everything else, but-- You know, it was a little overwhelming at the party.

SAM: And you were serving drinks.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: You were doing so much.

MATT: You gathered a general sense of carefully guarded anxiety.

LAURA: He was anxious.

LIAM: Well, maybe he'd got in bed with some people that he is now questioning.

MARISHA: Maybe he's the only good guy and the rest of them are shit!

TRAVIS: Yeah, that's it. I got one for you. Ajit Dayal, are you familiar with that name?

MATT: "I do know, Ajit, yes."

TRAVIS: Ajit. Ajit. Tell me about Ajit.

MATT: "He is of the Dayal Mahaan house. He is a philanthropic sort. Oversees the Dayal Hall here in the Core Spire, which is a place of learning. I've not had personal interactions with him, but I know of his work."

TRAVIS: Cool. I guess he runs with some crazy, crazy types. I might be looking into him more. Does he have a good reputation around Jrusar?

MATT: "Probably too good."

TRAVIS: Uh oh.

MATT: "People like him are likely to be targeted by those looking to exploit. But he has a good heart and he seems to keep himself clean, from what I know."

TRAVIS: Are we looking to exploit?

MATT: "No, absolutely not."

TRAVIS: No, no, no. Why? Come on, Imogen.

MATT: "Imogen?"

LAURA: Sorry.

MARISHA: Did you see something in his head?

LAURA: Yeah. You just hear: Fuck you. (laughter)

TRAVIS: So I could probably find him at the Dayal Hall at the Core Spire.

MATT: "Correct."

TRAVIS: Great, sweet, anus yeah.

MATT: "If the shade creeper threat is growing ever dire, with Lady Emoth turned and involved with Armand in some way, I don't know if she might be enough link of evidence, if presented, to crack open his very confident veneer."

MARISHA: Has there been any progress on that little slimy vial sample that we gave you? You were going to have people look into it.

MATT: "Indeed."

TRAVIS: He drank it, didn't he?

MARISHA: I don't know--

MATT: He wipes the corner of his mouth.

TRAVIS: Aah! (laughter)

TRAVIS: (attacking noises)

MATT: Oh god!

LIAM: Sam Riegel vibes.

MATT: "It was indeed confirmed to be sort of an excretion that is utilized by shade creepers and other subterranean abominations as an intent to both facilitate unnatural movements through hard tunnels." (laughter)

TRAVIS: Come on!

MATT: I fucking hate you all so much.

TRAVIS: Come on, man.

MARISHA: He just gave up at the end.

MATT: I hate you all so much.

TALIESIN: A time lapse of watching a prank go wrong.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: A series of checkpoints you just blew past. (laughter)

MATT: I was entirely--

LIAM: Just metagaming.

TALIESIN: I was trying to think of how to undermine you. Thank you for saving me the-- It was rough trying to figure out how to break that. Thank you for just taking that off the table.

MATT: "It was studied!" (laughter)

LIAM: (as Eshteross) Oh no, there's a thread loose on my sweater. (laughter)

LIAM: "Oh, I'm naked now."

TRAVIS: Helps you to move smoother through--

MATT: Not enough alcohol in this cup. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Oh man.

LAURA: Made me warm.

MARISHA: Yeah!

TRAVIS: Please continue, Eshteross.

MATT: "No, that's all I have to say." (laughter)

MATT: "I am done."

LAURA: So that tunnel, Orym, when you went down the tunnel at Dugger's place, when you were following after him--

LIAM: Mm-hmm?

LAURA: It was really deep, right?

LIAM: It was. Yeah, I tossed F.C.G.'s coin-- sorry-- down it, and it just kept going for a really long time. It curved to the side eventually--

LAURA: Uh-huh.

LIAM: -- like they all do.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: Pants left.

TRAVIS: "Curved to the side." (laughs)

LAURA: But you knew the exact amount of feet it was. I remember when that happened you remembered. You knew.

LIAM: Yes, it was something like 1000 plus feet.

LAURA: Which is far deeper than the Core Spire is tall, correct?

MATT: "From where you were, at the time, likely."

SAM: Fearne?

ASHLEY: Yes.

SAM: You're an outdoorsy sort.

ASHLEY: Mm-hmm.

SAM: How's your knowledge of geology?

ASHLEY: Very, very extensive.

SAM: Because I--

TRAVIS: Insight check. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Try it.

SAM: Because it just occurred to me, these spires--

TRAVIS: 18.

ASHLEY: Not a clue.

MARISHA: (giggles)

SAM: This is not, like-- This is not-- This is an unusual geological scenario we're standing on right here.

ASHLEY: Yes.

SAM: Spires like this don't just spring up after an earthquake or something. They grow probably over millions of years from some sort of source underground. I don't know. How do these form? Do you know?

ASHLEY: Yeah, that's probably, I mean, that seems to be the main way that spires form. That's what I know of it.

SAM: What sort of source might do that?

ASHLEY: (buzzes lips) Just, you know, something that gets under there and just, some monster, and it just--

SAM: A monster?

ASHLEY: -- pushes it up.

SAM: A monster made the spires?

ASHLEY: I don't know.

LAURA: How many spires are there?

SAM and MATT: Five.

LAURA: What is the organization of the spires?

SAM: They look like this. (laughs) No.

TALIESIN: I just assumed--

MATT: Yeah, they're-- There's the Core Spire in the center and then there's four additional ones in not quite a-- like a box pattern. They're a little off-kilter, but--

LAURA: Like the shocker? (laughter)

LAURA: No? I'm sorry. I'm just trying to figure it out--

TALIESIN: Here's the Core Spire, and then we've got those, so then the little ones. There's the Lantern Spire.

TRAVIS: The tendons are very carefully--

TALIESIN: They seemed fine.

TRAVIS: Oh god.

ASHLEY: I feel like I know-- Is there a center?

LAURA: Could it be like a hand going like this? Is that what, or a hand like--

MATT: Kind of?

LAURA: Like that?

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Sure.

LAURA: Okay.

TALIESIN: I always assumed this was just some sort of weird Calamity thing that just landed here and--

TRAVIS: He loves it, see?

TALIESIN: Shit's weird.

MATT: "That is, from a low standpoint. This was, at one point, a singular mountain before it was broken into spires in some--"

ASHLEY: That's what I was going to say.

LAURA: Oh.

SAM: Broken into spires.

TRAVIS: Oh, we interrupted Fearne, she was getting there. You must've had a thesis or--

ASHLEY: I was getting there, it used to be one big one and then--

SAM: But a monster broke it?

MATT: "That is correct."

LIAM: A monster called Erosion.

MARISHA: Yeah (laughs).

ASHLEY: So there's a lot of theories about it, you know, about mountains.

MARISHA: Erosion's a bitch.

SAM: There are theories?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: What's a popular one?

LIAM: What's the leading theory?

ASHLEY: Oh, you know, earthquakes and things, or people just build them over time.

TRAVIS: Build mountains?

MARISHA: Build the spires?

ASHLEY: They just keep adding some, you know, dirt and rocks.

LAURA: Dirt.

SAM: I don't believe in manmade spire change.

ASHLEY: No, yeah, you don't believe in that. (laughter)

ASHLEY: What do you believe in?

MARISHA: Oh no, F.C.G.'s the worst!

SAM: I just think we need do more research. (laughter)

TALIESIN: We'll do a cold reboot at the next long rest.

MATT: There you go.

TALIESIN: Full shut down, reboot, reinstall the previous software.

MATT: F.C.G.'s a flat Exandria-er?

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: Oh no. (laughter)

SAM: Until I see it for myself. (laughter)

ASHLEY: I mean, that's a little too far, even for me. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Oh, the edge.

ASHLEY: It's definitely oval.

MARISHA: Well.

SAM: All right, all right.

MARISHA: It sounds like we have to go down some hard tunnels. Or we start at the bottom of a mine or something and see if there are horizontal hard tunnels.

TRAVIS: As much as I want to do that, though, doesn't that mean staying here and risk being caught, spied?

MARISHA: Well, if we're underground, we're not here, are we?

TRAVIS: That's true.

LIAM: Right, so we need to figure out a way to get to the Heartmoor Hamlet.

MARISHA: Oh, right.

LIAM: Pretty soon.

LAURA: Same. I mean, not-- I don't have to do it soon.

SAM: There's time thing?

LIAM: Well, the trail could go cold.

ASHLEY: Well, what if we do that? Because that's going outside, out of this place, right?

LIAM: Where everyone wants.

TALIESIN: People have a short memory. They'll be much less pissed at us in about a week. Especially if we're not seen here.

SAM: Didn't your job have a timeline to it as well?

TALIESIN: It certainly had--

SAM: Hexum thing?

TALIESIN: It had some preferences towards expediency, yeah, yeah.

TRAVIS: Well, that's fortuitous. We should get the fuck out of dodge for a bit and take care of these other things. Let it simmer, let it calm.

ASHLEY: Then maybe we could an outside entrance or something to the middle of the-- I don't know.

ALL: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yeah?

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Options, guys.

SAM: All right. Refresh me. Where is the mission? Where's the Heartmoor?

ASHLEY: Over there.

LAURA: Over there, and this is where we are right now.

MARISHA: Yep.

SAM: That didn't help at all.

MARISHA: Nope.

LAURA: Wow.

SAM: So we can go here. Then, Ashton, where did you find me? Where were we?

TALIESIN: Oh.

MATT: Kind of over there.

TALIESIN: Yeah. I was going to say it was a mine. It wasn't really a place.

SAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: It's not going to show up on the map.

ASHLEY: That's where you--

SAM: How would we, I guess. How would we get to Heartmoor?

LAURA: Well, I imagine we would hire, buy some horses, or rent a carriage or--

ASHLEY: Wait, did we talk--

LAURA: Maybe some of the sillgoats, I'm not sure.

TALIESIN: I'm sure that that something could be arranged.

LIAM: Lord Eshteross, can you recommend best means of travel to get there?

MATT: "I mean, there's always on foot, which is the cheapest, but definitely not the most expedient. There are trade carts that you could perhaps travel alongside for safety in numbers. There are caravans that often make a path through the jungles here. The Heartmoor does see quite a bit of trade. You could purchase horses and make the trek quicker that way. For a heftier price, you could take flying means of arrival, simurghs. Those are--"

MARISHA: Simurghs.

SAM: How much would that cost?

TRAVIS: Shit.

LIAM: It's a good way to avoid trouble.

LAURA: Yeah, but it's pricey.

TRAVIS: Rent simurghs?

TALIESIN: It's also very loud.

LIAM: Find out what the ceiling is.

MATT: "Depending on who you talk to, it could be somewhere in the neighborhood of about 100 gold pieces per person."

LIAM: Oh.

MATT: Per trip.

LAURA: Per trip.

SAM: But we get there in a day?

MATT: "You get there in about two to three days with rest."

SAM: Oh. Two or three days.

ASHLEY: Then with taking carts and things like that. How long would that take, about a week or so?

MATT: "I'd say probably about five to six days, yes."

LAURA: With a cart?

MATT: "Mm-hmm."

LAURA: Oh man.

MARISHA: Are sillgoats as fast as horses?

MATT: "A little bit slower. They're more used for their ability to traverse dangerous terrain."

MARISHA: Which we might encounter, right? We might encounter dangerous terrain.

MATT: "It's possible. I would say, on a straightaway, the horses would win, but given some of the topography here in the Wilds, it might even out in the end."

LIAM: Do you think we'd be all right on our own, or is it smarter for us to go with a caravan or something?

MARISHA: Goats.

MATT: "I could not tell you, it can depend. If the caravan is a target for dangerous things, then you are a part of the target. Traveling on your own, you do not have to worry about the baggage of other people's safety nearby as well."

LAURA: I mean, Cyrus was part of a group that attacked a caravan.

MARISHA: Agreed.

LAURA: Maybe the goats are the way to go.

MARISHA: Plus, I don't really like new people. Imogen and I, we don't really like people.

TALIESIN: This is the most new people I've had to deal with in a very long time.

LAURA: Same.

TALIESIN: You're all great, but I'm a little tired.

MARISHA: Agreed.

TRAVIS: With the caravan, we could just use them as bait.

TALIESIN: For? I mean, I'm not--

LAURA: I'd rather, you know.

LIAM: To lure bandits?

TRAVIS: Oh, you know, I thought we were throwing out pros and cons here. Don't squash ideas before you hear them.

TALIESIN: No, no, I'm into it, I'm into it. I mean.

MARISHA: Unless we think we can make some money along the way, kill two birds with one stone and maybe escort a caravan.

SAM: You could kill birds for money?

MARISHA: Do you enjoy killing birds?

SAM: I don't care for birds.

MARISHA: You don't care for birds?

SAM: I don't.

TRAVIS: Oh really?

LAURA: Like the only thing I've ever heard of that you don't like.

SAM: Oh.

TRAVIS: Is there a reason why?

SAM: Yeah.

TALIESIN: You don't have to get into it right now.

MARISHA: (as Pâté) "There is a reason why I'm wearing one of their heads."

SAM: Sorry, I thought that was a bird for a second.

MARISHA: "But you know. Bird in the head, rat in the body. You know what I'm saying?"

SAM: I haven't heard that phrase. That's a good one, I'll remember it. Bird in the head, rat in the body?

MATT: "Mm-hmm."

TALIESIN: Hmm.

SAM: Hmm, that's like a metaphor.

TALIESIN: Classic.

LAURA: I've never heard you say that before, ever.

SAM: Bird in the--

MARISHA: It was Pâté, I don't know. They've got weird dead animal sayings.

TRAVIS: Did you get attacked by birds once or something?

SAM: I did.

TRAVIS: You did? Did they carry you off?

SAM: No, they didn't carry me off.

TRAVIS: Did they pick at you with their sharp beaks?

SAM: No.

TRAVIS: Their little beady eyes?

SAM: No, no.

TALIESIN: We're going to die.

TRAVIS: Did they roost--

SAM: It was just a bird.

TRAVIS: -- inside you?

SAM: No.

TRAVIS: Okay.

SAM: No, they're just annoying.

TRAVIS: Oh, oh.

SAM: That's all. Bird.

LAURA: Insight check.

MATT: Make an insight check. (laughter)

SAM: In the head.

LIAM: Get it, get it.

LAURA: Goddamn it, fucking-- 12, 12.

TALIESIN: It's a robot. It's a robot.

SAM: The body. (laughter)

MARISHA: (hums)

TALIESIN: You'd know if they were bluffing.

MATT: "Well, I'm going to reset the various traps that I had taken out of your rooms for the night. Just take care of yourselves, and should you need something, let me know."

LAURA: Of course. Should we check in with you in regards to Armand at all? Or is that on you now? Are we out of the picture?

MATT: "Of course, I will be looking into it. Should something arise, I will let you know."

LAURA: Thank you.

TALIESIN: Yeah, let's go find a client and get out of town.

LAURA: All right. Do we need to let your--

TALIESIN: The client would like to know and they might actually already have some ideas of how we get there.

LAURA: Got it.

TRAVIS: Yeah, goats, baby.

TALIESIN: Here's hoping.

MARISHA: Goats.

TRAVIS: I don't know if you've ever ridden a goat before, but.

LAURA: I'm partial to horses. Just a little.

SAM: Oh yeah, we got a horse girl with us.

LAURA: But you know, it's fine.

SAM: Yeah, she might be very helpful.

TALIESIN: Well, you can have a horse and you can be the leader with the horse and then we can all be on goats.

LAURA: I'm also aware that horses are very expensive, and what are we going to do with them when we get where we're going, and what are we going to do with them when we get back from where we're going?

TALIESIN: I mean, usually when I do these, we just abandon the horses at some point if something terrible happens. That's usually what happens.

TRAVIS: As Fearne would tell you, you know, goats evolved into horses. So it's really like going back in time.

LAURA: Did they?

LIAM: Yeah, 6000 years ago at the start of the world.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: What have you done?

ASHLEY: That's what I've heard. I think if I've heard that, too. (laughter)

SAM: I believe we all came out just like this. There was no such thing as evolution.

MATT: Oh no. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Oh no. No! You did this! You!

SAM: I'm-- I'm a creationist. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Well, of course you are because you were created.

SAM: Yeah, yeah, everything gets created by a creator.

ASHLEY: But, for the most part, that's not true. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Anyway.

SAM: Probably shouldn't talk about this.

MATT: There's literally a pantheon of gods.

TALIESIN: Not going to lie, there is an active and vocal pantheon--

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, fair enough.

TRAVIS: We're really, really out of their favor.

ASHLEY: That's true.

TRAVIS: These fucking assholes. (laughter)

MATT: Prime Deities are like--

SAM: Yeah. (laughter)

MATT: Bah.

LAURA: So Lady Jiana...?

TRAVIS and SAM: Hexum.

LAURA: Hexum.

TALIESIN: Let's go to the Hexum house.

MATT: All right, you're hoofin' it to Hexum?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LAURA: Yeah, but let's put our hoods up. She's in this spire, right?

TRAVIS: Cloaks and hoods up. Oh, sorry.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: We're trying to disguise ourselves? I might put on the pants for this trip.

LAURA: Okay.

TALIESIN: Keep a low profile as we go to the Lucent Spire.

TRAVIS: The feet, too, or just the pants?

SAM: Yep, yep.

TRAVIS: Oh god.

MATT: Everyone roll a stealth check, I guess.

TRAVIS: I guess?

MATT: As you move along.

TALIESIN: Do we want to be super stealthy or not?

LIAM: Nice.

TRAVIS: No.

LIAM: I mean, I always do, but--

TRAVIS: Near the Moon Tower debacle, that would be smart, but--

TALIESIN: They already know it was us.

ASHLEY: What spire is she in?

TRAVIS: Dirty 20.

MATT: Nice.

MARISHA: Nine.

LAURA: Core Spire.

TALIESIN: Lucent Spire.

SAM: Eight.

LAURA: Lucent Spire. Oh, she's in the Lucent Spire.

ASHLEY: 12.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: 14.

LIAM: 22.

TALIESIN: 24.

MATT: Okay, okay.

LIAM: You're welcome.

TALIESIN: That's right. Couldn't see them anyway.

MATT: Roughly two to two and a half minutes after leaving Eshteross' estate, as you begin to head along the streets, hoods up, trying to weave through the clusters of people that are going about business through the day in the bright, warm light of the somewhat cloud-dappled sky above Jrusar and the Oderan Wilds, a figure saddles up along the right of you. You begin to notice that they're traveling almost in, not lockstep, but definitely keeping a continuous flank. You glance over and you see a tall, brow furrowed, half-orc man. A little lanky, you know, compared to some of the more brawny half-orcs that you've encountered in your more sellsword lifestyles, for some of you. With a long, deep green coat.

MARISHA: Oh shit, oh, this guy.

LAURA: Shit.

MATT: You glance to the left and to the other side of you, it looks to be a shorter female gnome.

MARISHA: Oh shit.

MATT: Curly hair and a long--

SAM: Fucking love these people.

MATT: -- similar matching dark coat. They're flanking your troop, walking alongside quietly. Eventually, in the initial silence, it breaks as the female gnome goes, “Hey, so it's rather a nice day y'all having, right? Nice weather?"

SAM: Sure is! It's a shiny smiley day today. Pleasure to meet you.

MATT: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. You as well. It's a good day, huh, huh, Gus?" Orc goes, "Yeah, yeah. It's a nice day to go for a walk you know, around the city. Where you walking?"

SAM: Just strolling about.

LAURA: Yep, just going shopping.

TRAVIS: Stretching our legs.

MATT: "Oh, hear that, Olly? They're just out and about running some errands."

LIAM: How about yourselves? Where are you headed?

MATT: They look at each other and look back at you. Olly goes, "You know, we're heading off to this little sitting space here. Why don't you go sit with us, have a conversation, have a little talk?"

TRAVIS: Just the two of you?

MATT: "Yeah."

TRAVIS: Insight check.

MATT: Make an insight check.

SAM: Do we all see--

LAURA: Is Olly the half-orc or the--?

MATT: Olly is the small gnome.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Gus is the larger half-orc.

TRAVIS: 19.

MATT: 19.

SAM: A whisper?

LIAM: Yes!

MARISHA: Oh shit.

TRAVIS: I haven't had a whisper from Matt in years.

ASHLEY: Oh boy!

SAM: Guys, Quip is just-- I had a magical experience off-screen with Quip.

ASHLEY and LAURA: We could hear.

SAM: I got so clean, and you should, too. (laughter)

SAM: We all saw this couple, this duo. We all saw them at the party, right, or--?

MATT: Correct.

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: We know who they are?

MATT: Yeah, you saw them-- Some of you saw them the latter half of the evening and then you all saw them as they were pulling Cyrus out in shackles, essentially.

SAM: (quick exhales) Okay. I mean, sure, yeah, we should go talk, right? We're not doing anything, so why not.

MATT: (as Olly) "That's wonderful, glad to hear that. It's always nice to make some new acquaintances, you know, on a nice sunny day like this. Isn't that right? Isn't that right, Gus?" (as Gus) "Completely agree. Make good friends, new friends."

SAM: Do a little Detect Thoughts on Gus.

MARISHA: Good work, good work, good work.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: It's just going to be the echo of what he said.

TRAVIS: Did we pick up the other name was Olly?

MATT: Yes.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: So on Gus.

TALIESIN: Gus.

MATT: The immediate thoughts that you get, the surface thoughts are, "Let's see how clean these folks are, see how dirty they are." A lot of intensely watching body language and expressions. You know, looking for micro expressions and trying to read nervousness. It's a lot of-- as opposed to an internal thought process, it's more of definitely giving a very, very stark visual read on everybody. Do you want to delve deeper?

SAM: They will sense if I fail, right?

MATT: Yes.

LAURA: They'll know if you don't fail. They'll know if you're diving in deeper.

SAM: Even if I don't fail? Then I won't because I want to see how this conversation goes first.

MATT: Okay. So it leads you off the path physically. Even though Olly is short, there is definitely a presence that is larger than their stature that you can't help but feel. Like they definitely walk with a confidence and a strength of personality that befits an individual that's accomplished a lot of things in their life. As they corral you off the side of the main walkway to this little roadside garden sitting area. There are a couple of benches and you can see there is an older couple that are currently sitting down next to each other. They're reading through some small book that doing a little couple sitting space. They look up as they approach. Olly quickly goes to them and goes, "We're going to have to take this bench space here. Here, get yourself a new book," and pockets some coins to them. They go, "Oh, thank you very much," and they stand up and walk away, a little confused. As they usher off, Gus and Olly gesture towards the bench.

MARISHA: Does it look like there might be anybody else hiding in the shadows?

LIAM: Casually checking high and low every angle.

MATT: Perception check from both of you guys.

MARISHA: Surroundings check here.

LIAM: Balls. Low.

TALIESIN: I'm just checking: We're letting this happen right now?

MARISHA: 23.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Okay.

LIAM: 11 for me, too short.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: 23.

MATT: 23. You gauge the space here. One, the people-- You catch a couple of individuals have a look of recognition at noticing, you think maybe, at first, your group.

MARISHA: But the Green Seekers.

MATT: But it's the Green Seekers. You immediately connect that there is definitely a reputation. People are peering from a distance, but also trying to not get in the middle of business. You do not see any other aggressive units. You do not see other Wardens or Wilders at the ready hiding. You do not see any sort of roof snipers with heavy crossbows. Best that you can gather right now, it's just the two of them.

TRAVIS: That's more unsettling.

MARISHA: I know, right. Okay.

MATT: Gus, as she takes care of the couple, ushers you all towards the bench area.

LAURA: All of us sit down.

MATT: Yeah, it's a very tight bench space. He goes ahead and glances over his shoulder, and you watch he runs his finger through the air and marks a sigil. As it does, it leaves this slight trace.

MATT: As it flashes--

MARISHA: Druid shit, yeah.

MATT: There is a faint shimmer that surrounds you like a dome.

TALIESIN: Oh, for fuck's sake.

MATT: As it does, you hear all the sounds of the city, the birds, the chatter, the hoof falls on stone vanish.

TALIESIN and MARISHA: Oh.

LIAM: (whooshes)

MATT: All you can hear is what's within this space.

MARISHA: Oh.

LIAM: It's like Maxwell Smart.

MARISHA: I hate it when it's too silent, you know.

LAURA: Does it take away the, (swishing) whispery sound of thoughts, too? Is everything silent outside of--?

MATT: I would say yes.

TRAVIS: Ooh.

MATT: It's a weird bit of calm for you.

LIAM: So does this feel like baffled, like a VO booth?

MATT: Kind of, yeah, that odd, still silence. In that moment where you all take it in, that odd crispness is almost oppressive on your eardrums for a moment. Until somebody shifts and breaks it, and it's like a welcome breath--

TRAVIS: (fart sound)

MATT: -- of the discomfort.

MARISHA: Chet.

LAURA: Traps it in.

TRAVIS: Sorry, I get the--

MATT: (Olly) "So, I apologize for the sudden, abrupt, and perhaps unexpected arrival of me and my compatriot. We are... interested in your business around the city. My name is Olly, this is Gus, if you hadn't picked up that." Gus goes, "Hey."

MARISHA: Hello!

MATT: (Olly) "We're keeping an eye on some happenings going on around here. There's some weird things happening here in Jrusar. Right, right? Some weird things happened last night."

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: "Recognize some of the faces around here. You were there, you saw some of these weird things. You were very close to some of these weird things. In fact--"

LAURA: Some crazy shit happening.

MATT: "All of you were two separate groups of people at an event that all seemed to be one group, friends, mingling throughout the events of the evening. As well as keeping proximity to Mr. Lord Ariks Eshteross."

LAURA: We became friends very quickly.

MATT: "Yeah, stayed over at his place last night. That's pretty close."

MARISHA: It was a good night.

MATT: "Yeah, yeah."

TRAVIS: (laughs)

ASHLEY: He's very--

MATT: "Anyway."

ASHLEY: -- spry for his age. It's very true.

MATT: (Gus) "Eh-hem." Gus butts in. "What she's trying to get at is we've been contacted, and are hired specifically to figure out what-- and pardon the Marquesian-- the fuck is going on around here."

TALIESIN: Ooh, I speak Marquesian! (laughter) Which fucking problem, specifically? Because there's a lot of weird shit going on. So you actually would have to be a little fucking specific. I think I said that right.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: This Marquesian, yeah.

MATT: Gives you a tense look. "Well, let's say there's been some recent incursions in the town that left some structures, unfortunately, brought low to rubble, some important places. Wouldn't happen to anything about that, would you?"

TALIESIN: Somebody mentioned it last night. Who was it? I don't know, thought I saw the General talking about it at some point.

MARISHA: Do you know about any other crazy shit that's been going on? How long have you been here? Because you're really good at connecting dots, obviously. So just curious if you've connected any further.

MATT: "I, with all due respect, we are the investigators."

MARISHA: Oh, you're like from here, aren't you, you're here forever?

MATT: "We're asking questions that we would like some answers on."

MARISHA: Oh, you don't like me asking questions?

MATT: "I don't know you from my own asshole right now."

MARISHA: Oh my goodness.

MATT: "So I would prefer--"

MARISHA: That's actually rude of us. I'm Laudna, pleasure to meet you

MATT: "Charmed."

MARISHA: That's Chetney, that's Fresh Cut Grass.

SAM: Howdy.

MARISHA: Imogen over there.

ASHLEY: Fearne.

MARISHA: Fearne, Orym and, of course, Ashton.

TALIESIN: Hi.

MATT: "Bit a motley crew, wouldn't you say?" (Olly) "Yeah, yeah, definitely a strange bunch. Very 'gregrious,' ostentatious, in some ways, one would say."

TALIESIN: I know one of those words.

MARISHA: I thought it was "gregorious."

MATT: "'Gregorious also could be put on that list. Yes, go ahead and write that down."

LAURA: What about sweet?

MATT: "I wouldn't put that on there. But what I would say is if these were individuals working in tougher circles, they're doing a real bad job of keeping a low profile. At least I've seen better. I mean this no offense."

TALIESIN: I'm just curious, what do you think's going on? Because there's a lot of insane stuff. This is just like--

MARISHA: I just asked that and he was like--

TALIESIN: Yeah, but you just got--

MARISHA: Meh, I'm asking the questions.

TALIESIN: I was hoping that maybe we could just find, yeah.

MATT: "There, if you don't mind me, Gus, taking the floor here." (Gus) "No, by all means, go for it." Crosses his arms and leans back. (Olly) "There's been a lot of strange occurrences happening in recent months, around here in the Oderan Wilds, specifically Jrusar. There have been all manner of seemingly disconnected, dangerous events. There have been seeming terrorist-like attacks in public spaces. There have been creatures that have been found that should not exist anywhere near the biomes that normally reside within the Wilds suddenly showing up in the middle of the city. There have been people going missing. There've been murders, and recently--"

SAM: There's been dancing chairs and tables, too.

TALIESIN: Yeah, are we talking about the furniture?

MATT: "We've heard those reports as well."

LAURA: There was a creature that came out of a wall.

MARISHA: Yeah, it was like the wall was trying to eat us. Have you seen that?

TALIESIN: That's right.

ASHLEY: Here's a tooth.

LAURA: We haven't even been in town that long.

ASHLEY: Just make sure you give it back to me.

MATT: "So you saw this creature? You have the tooth from the creature that you're saying--

LAURA: The wall creature, yeah.

ASHLEY: We killed it.

MATT: "How did you come into the possession of this tooth?"

ASHLEY: I took it out of the creature.

MATT: "After you were--"

ASHLEY: When we killed it.

MATT: "Placing it--"

LAURA: What?

MATT: "Where it was supposed to be? I'm just asking for the frame of reference here."

ASHLEY: It was attacking us. We had to defend ourselves, so we killed it.

TRAVIS: I saw, it was a good fight.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: Oh yeah, it was the night we met you.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: It was a good night.

TRAVIS: I'm a little new to the group.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm. Imogen's right: We haven't been in town more than two, three months and--

LAURA: Max. I mean, how long were we here? We were only here for like a month before everyone else got here.

MARISHA: Yeah, and then we met these people on the day they got off the airship.

MATT: "But it's a strange scenario that in just wandering into each other around here and happened to be good bystanders that happened to kill some monsters that were responsible for all sorts of chaos, that individuals that look kind of like you have been reported by some of the Wilders that were present at the destruction of the Moon Tower."

SAM: That is not-- That is a coincidence for sure. But it's not the craziest coincidence that we've experienced yet.

LAURA: I mean, we ran into each other over living furniture.

SAM: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Also, we were on a date, so you can ask--

LAURA: Oh my gosh.

ASHLEY: Yeah, you can ask Pretty at the--

LAURA: The Spin Spin--

ASHLEY: The Sit and Spin, you know, the spire.

LAURA: Sip and sip and--

ASHLEY: To corroborate our story.

TALIESIN: I'm not helping.

MATT: You see Gus is like, "Sit and Spin."

ASHLEY: No, it's called the--

LAURA: He's at--

ASHLEY: Called the Spire by Fire?

LAURA: No.

MARISHA: You were close.

LAURA: It's the Sit and Spin.

MATT: Soot and Swill.

LAURA: Soot and Swill! (laughter)

ASHLEY: I mean.

SAM: Pretty the Ogre.

MATT: Gus chuckles, "Well, it's now the Sit and Spin, as far as I'm concerned."

LAURA: We went on a date with Pretty, the cook there, and he broke up with us that night.

SAM: All three of them.

ASHLEY: It was hard.

MARISHA: It's true.

TALIESIN: Fuck.

MATT: "That's the hard knocks, I suppose. Isn't that right, Olly?" Yeah, you're right, Gus. I think, I don't know, a lot of things here aren't adding up."

LAURA: Like what?

LIAM: Is there an accusation coming, or just conjecture?

MATT: "Let's just say we're piecing some things together. A few of these places, this common thread here seems to be group of freaky folks like you."

MARISHA: (giggles)

LAURA: Is there maybe another group of freaky folks around town and you're mistaking us for them?

MATT: "I mean, there's a lot of freaky folks around here--"

LAURA: There are some really freaky folks.

MATT: "But the specific colorations of this pattern of which you walk along displaying yourselves as is very particular. So-- and then, of course, you're present with no previous correlation with any of the nobility here of Jrusar at such a high stake event around side Lord Eshteross. It just seems like a lot of odd coincidence. So I'm just curious if you've ever been to the Mirror Towers, if you were at the Moon Tower, if you were responsible for its collapse or know who is, it would behoove you to come forward with this information, before it has to be extracted."

ASHLEY: We are not responsible for the collapse.

MATT: "Then who is?"

MARISHA: You wouldn't believe us.

SAM: Gravity?

MATT: "(laughs) We wouldn't believe, you hear this? Gus, wouldn't believe them. Eh."

TALIESIN: No, you really wouldn't.

ASHLEY: You know what--

LAURA: What is this thing you put around us?

MATT: "This is a personal interrogation dome."

LAURA: All right, that's okay.

MATT: "This allows us to speak in private."

LAURA: All right.

ASHLEY: Have you been doing research and investigating on jelly people?

SAM: (whispering) I think you can just lie.

MATT: "You may have to be a little-- you know what jelly person is?"

TALIESIN: Oh boy.

MATT: (Gus) "I don't know what a jelly person is, sorry."

TRAVIS: I thought you were the investigators. You're supposed know more than we do, right?

LAURA: You should seriously look into the jelly people.

ASHLEY: Maybe we need to be working together.

MATT: "What's a jelly person?"

LAURA: It's a person that comes out a little caves and then they--

ASHLEY: Hard tunnels.

LAURA: They excrete slime and then they turn into ooze and then they can squish back into teeny little tunnels, too.

MATT: They both shoot each other a look immediately, give like a nod.

MATT: "So you're talking the shade creeper shit?"

MARISHA: Oh, yes, yes!

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, that.

MARISHA: Yes, but it's like--

ASHLEY: Yeah, but it's the people, too.

MARISHA: It's weird. It-- yes.

LAURA: And the shade creepers, they don't have the normal eyes, right?

MARISHA: Yes!

MATT: "Oh. What do you know about the shade creeper incursion?"

LIAM: That they're everywhere. That there's holes all over this city.

LAURA: We keep running into them.

MARISHA: They robbed our kind, sweet landlord.

LAURA: That's how we found them to begin with. Although, they did not have the crazy eyes then.

MARISHA: Then we ran into a dwarf who was oozy.

ASHLEY: I think you need to be investigating inside the spires.

TRAVIS: Yeah, they escape into these holes. Then the holes are very small, but from what we can tell, they go down thousands of feet.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Thousands of feet.

TRAVIS: We can't do that.

MARISHA: The whole reason we were at the party last night was trying to find some leads on these slimy fucks.

SAM: We're amateur sleuths, if anything. We don't have the resources or training that you do.

LAURA: But we are good at fighting. We could help.

TRAVIS: We're pretty inexpensive, all things considered. I mean, we're trying to build a name here.

ASHLEY: No, no, no. We're very expensive.

TALIESIN: Don't ever lead with that.

ASHLEY: He's just trying to be nice.

SAM: I don't need money at all.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MARISHA: I thought being cheap was a good thing.

SAM: I think so.

ASHLEY: Listen, do you want to keep that tooth and keep it for your investigations, just in case?

TRAVIS: Fearne, no, it means so much to you.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: Two of you--

ASHLEY: I mean, I'll give it to you just to save the world.

MATT: I'll say Fearne and one other of your troop can make a persuasion check right now, if you'd like.

ASHLEY: Okay.

SAM: I'll help you with that.

LAURA: I can--

TRAVIS: Yeah, you go.

LAURA: Are you good at it? Okay.

SAM: We'll see.

ASHLEY: Okay.

SAM: We'll see.

TRAVIS: You're good at--

LAURA: I'm decent.

LAURA: I'm great, I'm pretty good at it.

LIAM: You're level five.

LAURA: Yeah, I know, I know.

SAM: I got a 23.

LAURA: Oh yeah, that's great.

TALIESIN: Wow!

ASHLEY: Yeah, 20.

LAURA: Ooh!

MARISHA: Oh.

TRAVIS: Wow, fuck. It's all going to go downhill real soon.

MATT: (Olly) "You know, hold onto this tooth for now." You can see there's a unique furrow to her brow. Previously, it was very much-- You can see a well-practiced, well-rehearsed wall of intensity to deflect any sort of read. Now there's definitely a look of trying to reassess things.

ASHLEY: I'm going to keep your name on this tooth.

MATT: "Look." (laughter)

SAM: Shut down. (laughter)

MATT: "Let's come clean. You've been apparently involved enough with some of the creatures around here and know enough about the shade creeper incursion to have been following a similar path that me and my partner have been. I get this sense that you're not telling the complete truth about the Moon Tower. Were you present?"

TRAVIS: I was there.

ASHLEY: We definitely walked by.

TRAVIS: But I wasn't responsible for leveling it. I was going after a friend.

MATT: "Who's responsible for leveling it?"

LAURA: Not us.

TRAVIS: I have a name, but it sounds like a given name. I can give it to you, but it's more of a creature really.

TALIESIN: Before you say it, you found the secret room? Did you find anything?

MATT: They both look at each other again with a smile. "See, now we can talk. Now we're actually getting some trust here. We're building parts of the narrative. Yes, we have a strong belief there has been foul play involved with the destruction of the Moon Tower. We have been able to uncover bits of a subterranean layer beneath the offices there at the base floor, as well as dubious mechanisms that were destroyed and buried within. We intended to peer further into this, but were rebuked by the Wardens and my instinct is that there calls a cover up involved somewhere."

LAURA: Oh wow.

TALIESIN: They're smarter than they look. Holy shit.

ASHLEY: Wait, who? Who are you guys? Who hired you? Who are you working for?

MATT: "Maybe we'll tell you if we can build a little more trust."

TRAVIS: Oh boy. Yeah, maybe. I mean, the thing is if what we have to tell you involves the people that hired you, you could see how that could be a little precarious for us.

MATT: "Yeah, but also understand, we don't do this for the money. We do it because it's the right thing to do. If we find out whoever's paying us is responsible for this, we don't take the money, we take them to jail."

TRAVIS: Really?

TALIESIN: No, I always prefer working with people who are in it for the money. Then you know what they want. The "right thing" can mean fucking anything.

TRAVIS: Hmm.

MATT: "Hmm."

TALIESIN: Tell me I'm wrong.

ASHLEY: I agree with Ashton.

LIAM: How much poking around have you been doing with the people who work in that tower?

MATT: "A bit. Asking questions, keeping eyes at a distance. Lot of rumors about haunted grounds." (laughter)

TALIESIN and SAM: Well. (laughter)

SAM: That's just superstition.

TALIESIN: I would ignore that.

ASHLEY: That's not a real thing.

MARISHA: Looking for reason.

TALIESIN: What do you think that room was being used for?

MATT: "Let's see. We're having a growing series of outside, unnatural threats within the city proper." And leans over, Gus goes, “And around this time there's a sudden rise in interest about our outside militant force being presented before the Quorum and I don't know, seems like there's some underhanded political stuff going on here. Lot of money being passed behind closed doors and a lot of places being destroyed on the grounds of these same rich folk that seem to be taken care of. Which is strange, when our job is to investigate what happened there and we're not told we can."

LAURA: Hm.

MARISHA: Well, as I'm sure you have noticed last night, we do not really have a relationship with the upper echelon of the political structure, so we're not working with the fucking politicians.

MATT: "But you are working with Ariks Eshteross?"

TALIESIN: We don't discuss clients.

MATT: (scoffs)

SAM: Implies that he's a client. (laughter)

SAM: Yeah, no, I mean, it's true, yeah, sure, yeah.

TALIESIN: It's just a standard answer.

MARISHA: As you said so yourself, in your head probably, we are a bunch of bumble fucks.

TALIESIN: Honestly, if you think about it, our greatest worth in a situation like this would probably be to be experimented on, I imagine if someone were inclined.

MARISHA: What are-- what? What do you mean by that?

LAURA: What are you offering?

TALIESIN: I'm not offering anything. I'm just making the point that you found a weird room full of technology and weird shit's been going on and I don't know, something doesn't add up and suddenly there's these outside forces keeping you from getting involved.

MATT: "I saw you having dinner with one of the Call folk, a general, that a friend of yours?"

TALIESIN: That asshole. (laughs) Fuck no. Uh, the general. We had never met until apparently the outfit I was wearing offended him. Seems I had a creepy, creepy mask that reminded him of something or someone he-- well, reminded him of something or someone that probably nobody should know about. I wouldn't trust that one.

MATT: (as Gus) "If I might be so bold."

TALIESIN: Please.

MATT: "What are you after? What are you doing? What's your goal? Not asking specifically for why you're working for Mr. Eshteross, which indeed is an assumption." (as Olly) "Yes, it's an assumption, I admit. But you know, a lot of signs point that direction. It just, it helps to know why."

TALIESIN: Olly, is it?

MATT: "Olly, yeah."

TALIESIN: Well, I mean, gosh, Olly. We're just trying to do the right thing.

LAURA: He says that like that, but it's kind of true, all right? I know Ashton makes a big play about only working for money, but I mean--

TALIESIN: Am I wrong or not wrong? We're just trying to--

TRAVIS: It depends on the case, it's not always about money. Sometimes it's all about passion.

LAURA: Our anonymous client seems like a good soul, you know, and trying to do the right thing as well, and I don't know, it just rang true.

LIAM: All this business with the shade creepers all over town, there's something really weird and wrong happening in this city. We're not the only ones trying to do the right thing.

SAM: Also, we have a bit of a vested interest. One of our friends was killed, and we'd like to get to the bottom of who did it and how and why and hopefully bring him vengeance.

MARISHA: By one of the creepy shade creeper fucks.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: So we're here to raise hell in the name--

MARISHA and LAURA: Of Bell. (laughter)

SAM: That's how it started, yeah.

LAURA and MARISHA: Bells Hells.

MATT: I'd like you all to make a group persuasion check.

ASHLEY: Ooh.

LIAM: Wow.

SAM: To see if the name sticks?

LAURA: Yeah. (laughter)

LIAM: Are we persuading ourselves?

MARISHA: Holy shit.

LAURA: Oh!

TRAVIS: 17.

TALIESIN: I rolled really well for me.

MARISHA: Natural 19 for 22.

MATT: Great.

LAURA: I also rolled a 22.

MARISHA: Ah!

ASHLEY: I rolled a 22! (screaming) (laughter)

TALIESIN: 22's the new nine.

SAM: Natural one. (groaning)

LIAM: 11.

TALIESIN: Nine. Oh no, I'm sorry, seven. Also very good for me.

SAM: Not great.

TALIESIN: I have negatives.

LAURA: Did we balance it? Did we balance?

SAM: I don't think so.

TRAVIS: 17, three 22s, a one, an 11, and a seven.

LAURA: We're good.

SAM: One usually counts for two fails.

LAURA: Two.

TRAVIS: Shut your mouth. (laughter)

LAURA: Oh no.

MATT: That's a pretty EKG spread there. Um.

LIAM: Flatline.

LAURA: I don't even know what we were trying to persuade. Was it just that our name is cool?

LIAM: No, that we're--

LAURA: It's that our name is cool and that's all we were trying to persuade.

MARISHA: If we can get at least that, that's not bad.

MATT: You can see Gus looks a little flustered and like (sighs), steps away for a second and walks in a circle as Olly takes the center space. "Just give him a moment. He's working through something, he gets like this, just (shushes)." You see him kind of--

TRAVIS: I take out a little piece of wood and I start working.

TALIESIN: This is where they decide whether or not they trust us or not and if they don't, they decide everything we say is bullshit, if they do--

TRAVIS: The visage of concentration.

MATT: (as Gus) "All right, all right, all right."

SAM: Would it help if we gave them a piece of information or something?

MATT: "All right."

TALIESIN: That's what they want.

MATT: "All right."

LAURA: All right.

MATT: "You want these shade creeper... fucks?"

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: Good Marquesian.

MATT: "Figured out? Taken down? We may be able to align ourselves in that space if we can be help to each other, prove trustworthy, prove that maybe a lot of these things that've been discussed today themselves keep us in alignment."

LAURA: Are we going to be honorary Green Seekers?

MATT: "I did not say anything like that. That is not at all true. Olly, I did not--"

LAURA: Do we have a little emblem or something?

MATT: "No, there isn't, there was not a-- Olly, back me up."

MARISHA: Or a little toy badge that you give to children?

TRAVIS: Oh shit, I could manufacture badges for us.

MARISHA: Oh my goodness.

TRAVIS: C. Pop Manufacturing, Jrusar.

MATT: (Olly) "You do this every fucking time." He's like, "Seriously, I did not say anything about any honorary membership."

LIAM: So you're saying there's a chance?

TRAVIS: I can tailor textures, imagery, anything that's personal to you, I can make it happen.

ASHLEY: How many people are in the Green Sleeves, the Green Seekers, just you two?

MARISHA and TRAVIS: "The Green Sleeves."

MATT: (Gus) "Just the two of us! It's always been just the two of us."

TALIESIN: Oh no!

LAURA: It's really just the two of you?

MATT: Olly's like, "And the kids you made honorary members," He's like, "Shut up, that was--" (laughter) "No! This is-- hmm."

MARISHA: A sticker. Do you at least have a sheet of stickers?

MATT: (Gus) "Stop it. Stop it. Stop it." Nope, it's just the two of us, but we make friends, we have alliances, we have aligned goals and interests. Olly, fucking back me up!" (Olly) "Yes, what Gus here's trying to say while he's flustered and turning adorably red, is that we're very good at the work we do and the reason we're good with it is because we know who we can work with and who we need to put behind bars. I like to think we can trust you. You got faces that say, I don't know--"

TRAVIS: Run? (laughter)

MATT: "In particular. You haven't been crushed by the cynical realities of the world yet."

LAURA: Oh, well, no, then you're reading us all wrong.

MARISHA: Yeah, I agree with that. We've all moved past it, you know? We came full circle like twice.

SAM: No, you're right.

MATT: "Interesting."

TALIESIN: Comedy.

SAM: These folk have hope in their hearts. I know it.

MATT: "That's worth holding onto."

MARISHA: Patches. Little patches.

MATT: Olly looks over to Gus. He goes, "We can talk about it."

TALIESIN: I fucking love patches, though.

MATT: "If this works out okay."

ASHLEY: Or a little notebook.

MATT: "We've just had a conversation and we don't just give out fucking patches to anybody." You see the shimmering dome vanishes behind. He's like, "Oh shit, I got riled and lost my concentration." (laughter)

LIAM: Guys, I think we're Deputy Seekers.

MATT: "No. Not yet or ever!"

ASHLEY: Yet.

MARISHA: He said yet.

MATT: "Fuck." You see Olly gives him a little punch, like, "You're doing it again, you asshole." He's like, "I'm--"

ASHLEY: It's okay, you really are making the right choice.

LAURA: Where would you like us to go? What would you want us to do? What should we do?

MATT: (Gus) "Well, we need something, something to prove--"

LIAM: Chetney, step out from behind the bench. When you aggressively whittle wood like that behind the bench, it looks like something else.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Sorry.

LAURA: It reminds me of when Charlie went behind the couch.

MATT: "Okay, just making sure, I was a little confused."

TRAVIS: Working on a good overlay, the G and the S work perfectly in this arrangement.

MATT: "There are children present. I just had to make sure." (laughter)

MATT: "So."

LIAM: What you doing over there, Chet? (laughter)

MATT: "The most viable leads that we've had in a lot of these threads we've been following are you."

LAURA: Oh.

TALIESIN: Shit.

MATT: "So we need to find, if indeed you are telling the truth, something bigger, something that takes you out of this equation and something we can present to show that there's something bigger. Right now, looks like our common thread are these shade creepers and whatever the hell's going on there."

TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: Well--

MATT: "Olly, what do you feel?"

ASHLEY: Should we give him some names?

SAM: Give him a name.

LAURA: Oh yeah.

SAM: Give him a name.

LAURA: Lady Emoth Kade last night at the party.

MATT: Olly leans back. "Yeah, I was eyeing-- Something about her just wasn't sitting right with me."

LAURA: Well, she turned into a jelly.

MATT: (Olly) "Okay, so the jelly people are--" (Gus) "Are these people you're talking about."

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah.

MATT: "Okay, so the turned folk, got it "All right, all right, see."

TRAVIS: They look normal, that's the thing. They look normal and then they (snarls.

MATT: "That's not a normal shade creeper thing, (Gus) "we've done a shitton of research on their ecology, this is something different. This is an unknown. They're usually scavengers."

LAURA: She, like, sprouted, they can sprout shade creepers out of their bodies.

MATT: (Olly) "That's disgusting."

ASHLEY: It is.

LAURA: Yeah, no, it is.

MATT: "Oh god."

LAURA: She can crawl on the ceiling, and she got away last night.

ASHLEY: All of us, we couldn't even stop her.

TRAVIS: Yeah, if you are a reputable investigative service, maybe you could help us with access and to access within the spires.

SAM: Oh yeah, yeah.

TRAVIS: Maybe we could take some of the risks you might not be able to.

ASHLEY: That's right, you said you already investigated a place that was in the interior of the spire, did I hear you correctly?

MATT: "Well--" Olly goes, "I can-- it's hard to describe. I have a sense for things. There's something, there's a gathering of these things deep."

LAURA: Like a-- What do you mean "a sense"?

MATT: "I've been wandering the wilds a long time, I've been-- Just have a sense for things. Certain creatures, certain types."

LAURA: All right.

MATT: "So I know, I think what we're looking for is down. I'm trying to think of places to go. We were talking about maybe hitting up, either going to the base of the Core Spire, but there's not much in the way of entrances there. There's a lot of mines in the Smolder Spire, and I think our boy Gus here has sort of an in there." Gus is like, "Oh, no, don't make me do that, we can find other ways."

LAURA: Oh, is somebody into you, Gus?

MATT: (grunts) "Not for a long time. But the Underrush Mines is the southmost and one of the larger mining operations in the Smolder Spire."

LAURA: Underrush?

MATT: Underrush.

SAM: Under, under, Underrush!

TALIESIN: That would've been my second thought.

LIAM: Mines!

ASHLEY: Are you going to tell us who you're working for or is that, you don't trust us yet?

MATT: (Gus) "Let's walk a while."

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: "But of all the mines that we know down there, that's one of the few that are the deepest level of one of the spires here that we have a sort of connection with."

LAURA: Are we going to do that right now? Are we going to do that?

MATT: "Well, unless you have something else better to do."

LAURA: Oh, no, I was wondering if we're possibly going to go fight a giant horde of little creepy creepers.

MATT: "I mean, we're not going to."

LAURA: Oh.

MARISHA: Orym?

LIAM: Well, you caught us literally on our way to take a little excursion out for a week and then back.

MATT: "Oh, so you're just going to skip town after all this?"

TRAVIS and TALIESIN: Yeah.

LAURA: Oh, come on.

ASHLEY: Not like that.

LAURA: We said we were coming back.

TALIESIN: Waiting for the heat to go down. A lot of bad people.

LIAM: Heartmoor Hamlet. About a week out.

ASHLEY: Yeah, we have investigations of our own to do.

MARISHA: We wanted to go there before the shit hit the fan last night, so we're just, you know.

SAM: However, if there's no-- I mean, is there an urgency to get to the Heartmoor? We could do--

LIAM: Tell you what. You want some trust gained? Let's go to your mine.

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: "What do you think, Olly?" "(sighs) In spite of my better judgment, I kind of like them."

TRAVIS: If it goes well, you can put in for some PTO and join us in the Heartmoor Hamlet, I'm just saying.

LAURA: Oh yeah.

MATT: (Olly) "Now we don't have to go far; we just need something."

LAURA: All right.

MATT: "Something we can bring back, something that could act as evidence. If this Lady Emoth you say is somewhere possibly down there, if we could bring her back, preferably alive, if not, whatever we can take. If we can show this alteration in physiology that can definitely go a long way as to finding the route, especially since she's been-- she's been networking."

MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Oh, physiology. There isn't much of it left after we defeat them. They kind of combust.

LAURA: Yeah. They turn into, like--

TRAVIS: Flame.

TALIESIN: Literally combust.

LAURA: And then ooze.

MATT: "That's a problem."

ASHLEY: So if you kill them, you can get hurt.

SAM: Then capture them alive, maybe?

TRAVIS: Also, to study, makes it tough.

MATT: "That would be the intent, then."

LAURA: Take them alive?

MARISHA: Capture them alive?

TALIESIN: How do we...

MATT: "If you can."

MARISHA: Well, if we just need one, why do we need to go down to the center of the mine for that?

SAM: That's where we know where they are.

LAURA: They want Lady Emoth specifically.

MATT: "That's the thing. Shade creepers, they're not going to care. If we have a member of one of the lesser Mahaan houses with this physiology, that cracks this shit wide open."

TALIESIN: Where are we going to put it when we capture it?

MATT: "Well, we're very-- Very well learned in the art of capturing and dragging dangerous things back to those who are wanting to acquire."

LAURA: So you'll be in there with us?

MATT: "That would be the intent, yeah."

LAURA: Great, great, great.

TALIESIN: I feel better about it already.

LIAM: We can get to know each other on the job.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "All right. All right."

LAURA: How long have y'all been together?

MATT: "We've been working together for-- Oh, it's now like almost 20 years? (as Gus) "Yeah, give or take. I stopped keeping count. We've been doing this for a long time." He scratches, steps a little bit in the daylight and you can see the gray scruff that encompasses most of his half-orc chin. He's got a rugged handsomeness to him, like a noir detective that's been between gigs and drinking a little too much on the side. Oh my god. (laughs)

MARISHA: I don't get it.

MATT: (as Gus) "But yeah. How about you guys? How long have you been together? You said you fell into each other's laps recently?"

TRAVIS: Less than a week for me.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "Gee."

LIAM: A little under two.

TALIESIN: Some of us known each other longer, but the whole group, yeah.

MATT: "Oh, fresh faces. Look at that." (as Olly) "Well, let's hope-- let's hope these binds hold, huh? Shit gets weird. That's when you really get to see the true essence of a person."

TRAVIS: Truth.

MATT: "All right. Well, you coming?"

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

SAM: Of course.

TALIESIN: Fuck it.

TRAVIS: Lead the way. Do we need to distance ourself from you? Is it okay to be seen with us? Anything--

MATT: "I think it's probably safer to be seen with us."

TRAVIS: Oh.

MATT: They both shift over to perform that flanking position to each side of you. (as Gus) "But keep your hoods up." (laughter)

TRAVIS: I have ears on mine.

MARISHA: (chuckles)

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Did it overnight.

LIAM: A wolf kigurumi.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: Oh, yeah, you have those little wooden feet. (laughter)

MATT: You have had your daily path abruptly absconded.

TRAVIS: Uh-huh.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: By these investigators as they--

TRAVIS: They were staking us out.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Yeah. Yeah, they were. Thankfully, they didn't seem to catch up early enough to have caught Dorian and Cyrus, it would seem.

LAURA: That's good.

MATT: But definitely enough to wait 'til your exit of the Eshteross Manor. Quietly, they guide you along the outer roads of the Core Spire to the familiar gondola that leads its way to the Smolder Spire. Paid the entry fee for the rest of you.

ALL: Ooh!

MARISHA: Perks.

TALIESIN: We've been bought for two silver, apparently. (laughter)

MATT: There are some folks who are looking to get on as well, but you watch this Gus goes, "Sorry, this is Quorum business," and keeps people out so it's just your group getting onto the gondola as it closes and then begins to settle down a bit.

LAURA: So you have authority in all of Marquet, or is it just Jrusar?

MATT: (Gus) "I wouldn't say it's authority per se, but we definitely-- we've earned a bit of respect around." (as Olly) "Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, we got friends in high places, people we've done favors for, previous clients. You do your job well enough, people get out of your way."

SAM: You're the best detective agency around?

MATT: "Definitely one of the better ones this side of Marquet. Yeah."

LAURA: So not the best detective agency?

MATT: "It would seem a little arrogant for someone to proclaim that." (laughter)

MATT: "We prefer to let our work speak for itself. Anybody who goes around telling people that, I can guarantee you, probably not the best." (laughter)

SAM: Cool, cool.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: How's the Paragon been for business?

MATT: "Paragon? No, we don't work with them."

TALIESIN: Best to keep it that way, I would recommend.

MATT: "Oh yeah. No, they're a bunch of shits." (laughter)

TALIESIN: I am caffeinating and chilling at the same time. (laughter)

TRAVIS: I feel you!

ASHLEY: Yeah, same! (laughter)

LIAM: I keep looking over and I feel like I'm seeing the Terminator sink. (laughter)

TALIESIN: One side of the table will make you grow larger. (laughter)

MATT: "Well, we probably spent a collective couple of years in and out of the Hellcatch Valley, doing all sorts of real rough business in those spaces. We've seen some-- we've seen some shit there, and we've had more than a couple of path crossings with the Paragon's Call. I mean, the real Paragon's Call, not all this gussied up bullshit."

LAURA: Yeah, they're bad guys.

TALIESIN: I was starting to suspect. Okay.

MATT: "I mean, I'd like to think they're turning a new leaf, but let's be real."

TALIESIN: They're not.

MATT: "They just found it's more profitable to climb your way up the political ladder."

LAURA: Most people do.

MATT: "Yeah."

TALIESIN: I got quite the talking to, let me tell you.

MATT: "Apparently! Looks like most of the swelling's gone down, so good for you. (grinding thump) Comes to rest of the base at the spire. It opens up. You sidle out, and here at the base of the Smolder Spire, the familiar, gentle faint snow of ash greets you as you step out into the late morning air. You can see all manner of carts pushing by, the squeak of their unkept wheels, grinding metal on metal. You can see other cables are currently lifting small elevator lifts to higher up portions of the Smolder Spire, where it looks like heavy ingots and large crates of materials are being passed from stage to stage to stage, above further and further, some being lowered down. You begin to pass by the space where Gurge's temporary neighborhood domicile was, but continue to curve further and further south. Until eventually, the road comes to an end, in a cul-de-sac industrial district. You can see all manner of gray and ashen soot-stained warehouses and structures and storage facilities. There are a number of mechanical outdoor tinkering lots, where various contraptions used by the mining operations come for repairs or abandonment. Many of them are being pulled apart and pieces being used for the construction of other devices. There is a very bustling industry here to help facilitate the mining operations that permeate a number of spires, but primarily the Smolder Spire here. Glancing up now. This is probably the lowest in spire you've been. The base of the Smolder Spire is pretty low comparison to some of the others. It's only maybe 150 feet off of the base of the jungle. You're not close enough to the edge of the road to look down, but you can definitely feel the presence of the jungle much closer from where you stand. In glancing up to see its height, as the rocks spiral and push upward, you can see the dozens of smokestacks that emerge from the rock, leaving these ashen gray, and in some cases, black plumes that gather and mix with the other clouds that have been gathering in the sky, giving this odd array of different shades above you. They lead you to a sign to read, "The Underrush Mining Operation Facility." Here, you can see the entrance. It's heavily gated with two iron lattice heavy doors that bar two large entrances that are about 30 feet from each other. The sign over one is visible, the other looks like it would be visible, but it hasn't been cleaned in a while. There is one third open entryway between the two that looks like a garage, where there's all manner of clustered mine carts and heavy load bearing industrial carts that are stacked next to boxes and tools and things that are jammed in here when not in use. There's about a dozen or so workers that are in the process are doing repairs, loading up elements. You can see there are a few beasts of burden, and sillgoats themselves that are pretty beefy looking sillgoats. You can see they've been built up from a lifetime of pulling very, very heavy materials, sit to the side and (grunts, bleats) (laughter) Just getting settled in their space for the day. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Sounded so beefy!

LAURA: That was my favorite thing you've ever done. (laughter)

LIAM: Those goats are pretty yoked.

LAURA and ASHLEY: Yeah!

ASHLEY: They're like those yoked kangaroos.

MATT: Exactly.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

TALIESIN: We've got to get some of those yoked goats. Get out of town, riding out on a yoked goat.

MATT: You can see there's a few private guards that roam near the entrances. You all stop here for a second and Olly leans up to Gus a little bit and goes, "You ready to pull some strings, buddy?"

LAURA: Ooh!

MATT: (Gus) "(sighs) I guess there's no time like the present. Wait here a second."

SAM: Do you want a little extra boost of anything? Like a little--

LAURA: Oh yeah!

SAM: A little pep talk or a little guidance on this whatever you're about to do?

MATT: "Sure."

SAM: All right, I'll touch him and give him a little Guidance. You've got this! I know. I believe in you.

MATT: "Right. Yeah. Thank you." Looks over with a weird look. He looks back weird.

LAURA: They're really helpful!

MATT: "Thanks. Yeah, yeah."

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "Yeah. Thanks, little one." (laughter) Walks up, pushes past one of the gates and approaches and one of the guards goes, "Pardon me, what does-- Oh. Welcome. What can we do for the Green Seekers?" (Gus) "Me and my associates over here, we're on a bit of a business excursion. Looking into an investigation. If I could please speak with Ogdes Friez, if you don't mind."

SAM: Ogdes Friez. Sounds like a Batman villain. (laughter)

MATT: "All right. I'll go and retrieve them. Hold on just a second." Guard goes inside. A short time later, you see at the doorway, leaning, a built half-elf man, tanned, bald with a goatee. He's not dressed like any of the other miners. He's dressed a little nicer. He doesn't have a lot of gross soot or anything that shows that he's working physically in the mine. Seems you have a little more of a station within. Leaning against and goes, "Well, if my eyes do deceive me. Gus. It's been some time!"

TRAVIS: No.

MARISHA: Oh boy.

MATT: (Gus) "Yeah. Yeah, it has. You good?" (Ogdes) "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. You?" (Gus) "Yeah, I'm all right." Looks back, Olly's like-- (Gus) "Can I ask you a favor?" (Ogdes) "(laughs) You're asking me a favor? Okay! Okay. I take this is done in-kind then, right? Because if I need a favor, then..." (Gus) "Look, can we just talk inside?" (Ogdes) "Yeah, yeah. Sure. Everyone, come inside. Friends of Gus are friends of mine. Sure. Step on in."

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: "Folks." He sighs deeply and walks inside. Gus turns noticeably almost a foot shorter than his stature.

TRAVIS: Is this an ex?

MARISHA: This is so amazing!

TRAVIS: A sibling?

LAURA: What? An ex?

LIAM: Don't know yet. We don't know.

LAURA: It's definitely an ex.

ASHLEY: I feel that tension.

LIAM: Hats off to Matt for doing both sides of this very awkward conversation.

ASHLEY: Yeah!

SAM: Bird in the head, rat in the body, right?

MATT: (Gus) "Is that a euphemism?"

SAM: Confidence.

TRAVIS: That's the phrase.

MATT: "Okay."

LAURA: Do you want to know what he is thinking?

MATT: "I know what he's thinking." With that, Gus walks into the doorway. Olly follows behind, giving a quick hand motion. As you all follow suit, entering the entrance way here into the Underrush Mines--

MARISHA: (Pâté) "F.C.G.!"

SAM: Yes?

MARISHA: "I might've steered you wrong there. I remembered the phrase. I got it wrong."

SAM: What's the real phrase?

MARISHA: "I'm a bird in the beak, but a rat in the sheets."

SAM: That's a way better phrase.

MARISHA: "Sorry."

SAM: I'll keep that one in mind for next time.

MARISHA: "All right. But I like how you delivered it with confidence."

SAM: Sure, sure.

LIAM: Is Pâté from New Zealand?

LAURA: I don't know. I don't know where he's from.

MATT: As the two of you close up the tail end of this, entering into the mines, we're going to take a break. (cheering)

TRAVIS: (nervous laugh) We're working with The Green Seekers!

TALIESIN: I, for one, want to hear what the charming, awkward miner has to say.

LAURA: We're Green Seekers now!

TRAVIS: Or we're totally, getting pulled into a trap.

LAURA: No!

SAM: No, this is great!

TALIESIN: Nothing bad ever happened in the mines.

LIAM: Only Gus is getting pulled into a trap.

TALIESIN: We're going to do the Indiana Jones mine cart ride. It's going to be great.

MATT: It should be fine. It should be fine!

LAURA: But which one loved him and left him, you know what I mean?

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah!

TRAVIS: Oh, shit!

MARISHA: It feels like Gus definitely left Ogdes.

TRAVIS: Let's spill some tea!

ASHLEY: Yes, it does. Because that's why he was embarrassed to ask for a favor.

MATT: We'll find out shortly.

ASHLEY: We'll find out. Maybe we can get them back together. (laughter)

SAM: Lot of breakups on tonight's show.

ASHLEY: No, no. Maybe they don't want to be. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Break
(dramatic orchestral music) Narrator: Make of thy selves that which ye desire. Be it a lord, be it a God. But should ye fail to become ought at all, ye will be forsaken, amounting only to sacrifices. (armor clanging) (horse neighing) Man: Thy kind are all of a beast. (bird screeching) Pillagers, emboldened by the flame. (weapon slicing) (fire exploding) Man: Champions, welcome! A celebration of war, the Radahn Festival! (dragon stirring) Man: I pray that the guidance of grace abandons you. Woman: Why accept the burden of their grace, or be fooled by the dogmatic ramblings of the Fingers? Rise with us against the Erdtree. Man: Never met someone with a taste for barnacles. You'd make good mates with him. Narrator: I bid thee, travel the path of Elden Lord, and once all is done, we shall see each other once more. Woman: Now go forth, become Elden Lord. (light whimsical music)

LAURA: Hey critters, Laura Bailey here to guide you through what's new in the Critical Role shop. (upbeat music) Look at this. Isn't it fashion? So much fashion happening here. It's perfect for the home, or the office, or your bathroom. Roll an investigation if you want. It's basically perfect. So comfy cozy. Style should never be a dump stat, darling. And hey, if you want, you head over to the Critical Role shop right now.

(hopeful fantasy music) (twinkly music) (typewriter clicking) (light sneaking music) (moving piano music)

Announcer: We now go live to a special address from the President.

ASHLEY: Hey dweebs. Now as your president, I've been kinda killing it lately. I gave global warming an atomic wedgie. I balanced the budget by selling my Pog collection, and I saved the Queen of England from that octopus! But my kick-assery is far from done. According to this chart that I made, an estimated 35% of you are still a bunch of nasty goobers, but don't worry, I have a plan. Operation: Gag Me With A Spoon. It's easy sleazy. According to this study that I wrote, if every citizen subscribed to Critical Role on Twitch, we could reduce maximum goobage by a metric buttload. Twitch is the only place where you'll get a live and moderated chat and when you subscribe to Critical Role, you instantly get access to all their shows as soon as the live broadcast ends. So while you're oogling those Critical Role dorks with their sick goof-em-ups and their nerdy voices, think of me, Gale, the current president of whatever. Now I gotta go make a fresh batch of spitballs, but I guess I have some time for your boring questions. You. Reporter: Gale, is it true that if you subscribe to Critical Role through Prime Gaming, you have to resubscribe every month? Uh, yeah. I do it right after my monthly prank call to Pee-an O'Brien. Next question. Reporter: Does Critical Role have exclusive emotes for their subscribers? Uh, doy. Of course they do. I like the hello bees one, 'cause bees are cool. I replaced my whole security detail with a bunch of bees that think I'm their queen. Last question. Reporter: Yeah, with all due respect, is Operation: Gag Me With a Spoon a real policy, or are you mad goofin'? Am I mad goofin'? What, do you see me scarfing Milk Duds while doodling ding-dongs in the SkyMall catalog? Listen, I know I'm new to this. And I admit that when I made the wish to be the boss of everything, I did not know the witch that works at Woolworth's was listening. Well, Faustian bargain or not, I am the president and I have an obligation to lead this country. So to answer your question, no, I am not mad goofin'. Security, take him out. (bees buzzing) (Gale laughing) Later, chudruckers!

Part II
MATT: And welcome back.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: So, whereas we had previously left off, you are all stepping into the Underrush Mines behind the Green Seekers. Stepping out of the daylight into the darker interior, the immediate smell of that subterranean earthy, musky scent reaches your nose.

TRAVIS: I'm very familiar with this smell.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: Does it match Lady Emoth Kade's scent?

MATT: No, not quite that one.

TRAVIS: Oh, not that way?

MATT: No. This is just the smell of a mineral mine at work.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: Hints of an iron twinge to it, you can eventually, or for the most part, pick up smells of wet earth, rock, and honestly, whiffs of sweat as some hard-working individuals are in the process of carrying heavy minerals and materials that've been mined from below and bringing them over to numerous transport carts. Your walk through a number of small corridors, there is a central space in the middle where it divides into multiple different mining operations and there are different numbers designated to each. Ogdes, walking with Gus in tow into an office off to the side and as you all continue to follow, within the chamber, you can see a modest office. Most of the furniture in here carries that same weird layer of soot that seems to coat the majority of outdoor elements though a bit lighter on the inside of the mines here but it's still faintly there. As there are four chairs available, not everybody can sit. But you watch as Olly goes and takes one, and wherever her hands grab the edge, you can see the streaks across it where these chairs probably haven't been used in a while and that layer gets dragged clean.

LAURA: I tap one of the chairs to see if it comes to life.

MATT: The dust settles a bit further, but does not come to life. Though I do appreciate that I've instilled in you a deep fear of furniture. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Never trust a chair.

TALIESIN: It's just a deep sleeper.

MATT: See, Ogdes walks around the front of the desk, puts a-- arms akimbo type pose on it. "All right, so friends of Gus. What can I do for you, Gus?" Gus just stands there. "Well, uh, we have an investigation. I wanted to ask you some questions, and see if you could give us operational access to some of the deeper set mines here." (Ogdes) "Oh. Okay. What questions are you looking to ask, Gus?"

SAM: Jesus.

MATT: "Is there anything odd, anything weird or unnatural going on amongst the general mining operations within?"

LAURA: I cast Detect Thoughts on Ogdes.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Don't do that, Liam.

LIAM: You have no spells slots. I filled them.

ASHLEY: Did you fill them all? (laughter)

LAURA: You fucking dick.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: Well done.

MATT: The surface thoughts that you get are very much in the realm of enjoying holding the power.

LAURA: Mm.

MATT: Definitely looking to hang someone out to dry a bit.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: Definitely a bit of comeuppance that is being relished. Do you want to push further?

LAURA: No, no, I'll just--

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: -- linger on the thoughts as Gus asks the questions.

MATT: Okay. "Well, Gus, yeah, there've been some weird things going on. Yeah, I mean the whole Crownset cave system's been shut down for months. Do you want to know why, Gus?"

TRAVIS: (laughs)

LIAM: I would like to know why.

TALIESIN: Do you want to know why, Gus?

MATT: "I do, let me talk to him. What do you need from us to help us?" (Ogdes) "Well, one, I need an apology." You see from sitting behind, Gus's fist just balls up and shakes a little bit, before relaxing. "Anything else?" "Yeah. Yeah, actually. I'd like some of my furniture back."

MARISHA: I knew it!

LAURA: Oh! Shit.

MATT: Gus goes, "I haven't got it. I don't live here." (Ogdes) "Then you can afford to pay me what you owe me for the furniture that you can't provide." (Gus) "(sighs) This was a bad idea. We should go. We should go." He turns around.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: Ogdes goes, "See, every time. As soon as there's any sort of moment of conflict, there's no resolution. You just run. You just leave. It's great."

ASHLEY: Did you both live together?

MATT: Gus stops. (Ogdes) "Yeah, oh, did he not tell you?"

ASHLEY: Well, we just kind of met.

MATT: "Ah. Making friends a lot quicker these days, aren't you, Gus?"

TRAVIS: Wow.

LIAM: Feels really uncomfortable here.

TALIESIN: I hope it lasts.

MATT: "Good, good. I'm glad, glad we all feel nice and comfortable in here."

TRAVIS: Oh, he had nothing but good things to say about you, very helpful, I think it was.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Make a deception check. (laughter)

LIAM: Chet.

TRAVIS: Natural 20. (oohing) (oohing)

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Relationship counselor Chetney.

LAURA: F.C.G., step it up.

MATT: "Wait, seriously?"

LAURA: Uh-huh, yeah.

MATT: Gus turns around. "Yeah. You know, yeah, sure things didn't work out, but like... You're still a decent person. I don't regret anything, you know? In the long run. I'm coming to you for help, hat in hand. You know how hard that is for me. You know this. I need help. People are in danger. Some bad shit's going down. They're here to help. How about you?"

LAURA: What's he thinking?

MATT: You get the sense he's taken aback a bit. Part of his brain's going like, "Nah. Nah, nah, nah. This is a shake down. What is it? What the fuck's going on here?" He leans in a bit. (Ogdes) "Look. The Crownset Mines have been closed. We don't know why. There's no threats of collapse, no movement of creatures or any threats that we know of, there are no reports situated, just the re-distribution of the hands that were working the mines and the foreman of the mines has kept to his own paperwork in his office. So that's about the weirdest thing that's happened but we don't ask questions. I don't even handle that side of the mines."

ASHLEY: You said there was a re-distribution of hands?

MATT: "Yeah, everyone that worked in the mines, for the most part, was situated to other operations."

ASHLEY: Oh, moved from here?

MATT: "Yeah. And then--"

LAURA: Oh, that looks so good.

MATT: "-- the Crownsets just kept closed."

TRAVIS: What side are the mines that you don't mess with? What's it called?

MATT: "It's called the Crownset. Crownset Cavern. A lot of the..."

ASHLEY: Crownset Cavern.

TRAVIS: It's a cave system.

SAM: That's part of this mine system?

MATT: "Yes."

SAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: Crownset Cavern in the Crownset Caves.

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: Gus and Ogdes, I-- you know. I don't know you at all but you know, it feels like in time in these sorts of situations it's nice if you just-- It breaks the tension if you just say one good thing that happened in your prior relationship, like one thing that you liked about the other person.

MATT: "Did you bring a therapist?" (laughter)

MATT: "We haven't talked in two years, and you come here asking for help and you bring a fucking therapist, Gus?" (laughter)

TRAVIS: No!

SAM: Gus, Gus, are you hearing what Ogdes is trying to say to you right now? (laughter)

MATT: "I can sense there's some, some left over resentment and unresolved hostility, yeah. Right, Ogdes?" (Ogdes) "Yeah, no, I'd say he's right. I'd say I think he's right on the money."

SAM: He picked up on your intent and on your emotional distress and that-- He's accepted that. He might have some things that he wants to say to you as well. I don't know. Would you be able to hear what he has to say?

MATT: "Oh, he's not much of a speaker, are you, Gus?" Gus stands there looking at him, looks at you.

SAM: It's okay. This is a safe space. (laughter)

LAURA: This is so great. I feel like I'm watching reality TV.

MARISHA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: It's like couples' therapy. So good. (laughter)

LIAM: Magically fascinating watching Matt drag himself.

LAURA: Yeah. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah.

SAM: Everyone, please, let's honor their relationship here.

ASHLEY: Look at Ogdes' face.

MATT: "I don't know what I could say."

SAM: Whatever's on your mind. It doesn't have to be anything big or small, just whatever you're feeling right now. If you say it out loud, it'll feel good just to say it.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

MARISHA: Oh boy.

SAM: Okay, okay, 15.

LAURA: Oh god.

MATT: 15. "(sighs) Look, my work, our work takes us all over, to weird, dangerous places. I appreciate the time that we had together, genuinely, but we knew it wasn't going to be anything long term... right? You know."

MARISHA: (whispers) Abandonment issues. Maybe.

SAM: You can speak for yourself, but I wouldn't say things like, "we knew." Maybe "I knew," but I wouldn't speak--

MATT: "I was very clear that I had places to be and the work takes me there."

ASHLEY: Do you feel like he was very clear?

MATT: (Ogdes) "I mean, Look, it..."

LAURA: He's role playing--

MATT: "I liked you. And it really bothered me that it was so easy to drop everything and walk away." Gus is like, "Look, I understand that. Look, it's... (sighs)"

SAM: Always best to start with "I feel" or "I believe" or "I would've preferred."

ASHLEY: Don't say things like, "you never," you know?

MATT: "I feel. How do I feel? Uh... I feel guilty..."

SAM: Uh-huh.

MATT: "-- for disrespecting the level of expectation that you had placed upon our relationship." Ogdes leans back. "Huh. Well, I feel, to take a hint from this circumstance here, I feel that I... I would like to know how guilty that is. How much of that you felt and continuously? That's what I feel."

LAURA: (whispers) How long? How long were y'all together? (laughter)

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: How long were y'all together?

MATT: Gus is like, "Don't."

LAURA: That's not a good question?

MATT: (Ogdes) "We, uh, we were together for--"

TRAVIS: Oh no.

LAURA: Oh no. I really want to know. I can probably just listen to his thoughts and get that answer if we can.

TALIESIN: Choose what side we're on.

ASHLEY: I was wondering the same thing. I'm very invested in your relationship already.

MATT: (Ogdes) "It was a very, very intense ten and a half months."

ASHLEY: That's more than enough time.

LAURA: All right, all right, all right.

LIAM: Orym is blushing. He can't even look and he's puffing out his cheeks, going. (sighs) Just tracing lines in the ground with a sword. (laughter)

MATT: "So yeah. Enough time to make an investment."

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: Well, that's wonderful. I mean, that you were together so long. I mean, that's meaningful. I know it didn't last but that's, you know, you have those times to look back on fondly. And that's not nothing.

ASHLEY: Do you still have feelings for each other?

MATT: "What, this asshole? Fuck no. He's a lesson."

LAURA: Insight check.

MATT: Make an insight check!

MARISHA: Yes!

TRAVIS: Imogen, yes!

SAM: Best use of insight check ever.

LAURA: Do I get advantage because I can also read his thoughts right now?

MATT: Honestly, yeah.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Go for it.

LIAM: Come on, come on.

LAURA: Oh! Yeah, well.

LIAM: Oh.

LAURA: Nope, that was a shitty one. 14, it's not terrible.

MATT: 14's not too bad.

LIAM: It's fine.

MATT: It was probably a little lingering there, but it's, you know, it's hard to necessarily fully get over somebody that burned you, necessarily.

MATT: Gus is sinking deeper into his shoulders. (laughter)

TRAVIS: What's Olly doing during all this? (laughter)

MATT: Olly's enjoying the fuck out of this. She's keeping quiet and watching this with a big grin and looking back and forth like, you can almost see the popcorn in her eyes. She's like--

LIAM: Oh, I think I just ascended to heaven.

TALIESIN: I'm sorry. Carry on. We were having a moment. Carry on.

MATT: (Gus) "I'm sorry. I am. I can't say I'm proud of it, but we're different people now than we were then, and I'm sorry."

SAM: That's really positive. Ogdes, do you have anything that you want to apologize for?

MATT: "No, I was perfect. I was fucking great."

SAM: Oh, okay. You know what? I actually think our time's up.

LAURA: Oh. (laughs) (laughter)

SAM: I don't like to use the breakthrough word, but I think this was a lot of great progress for our first session, and we should talk about this all together another time.

TRAVIS: On an hourly?

MATT: "Nah. But-- whatever you are, I appreciate you helping coming to some sort of an understanding."

SAM: It's not me that did it. It's you two.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Wow.

TRAVIS: What book did you get that from? (laughter)

TALIESIN: I need to see your-- just what order.

ASHLEY: Are either of you in a relationship right now? It's been two years, or are you both single?

MATT: "No, I'm, wow. You would understand all about this, Gus. I'm a little married to my work."

LAURA: Oh.

MARISHA: Wow.

TALIESIN: Oh, we should've quit while we were ahead.

TRAVIS: This is a prickly pear. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Ow!

MATT: You can feel the heat of anger and embarrassment emanating from Gus.

LIAM: Yes, you can.

MATT: Ogdes goes, "I'm sorry, I'm still working stuff out on this. I acknowledge this was unexpected. I have a lot of processing, apparently, I still have to do about this. I don't hate you. I just want you to hurt a little, because it hurt me. What can I do to help?"

TRAVIS: Oh, that's excellent.

LAURA: Thank you, Ogdes.

TRAVIS: We actually were hoping to get access to the the mines by any means that you could provide.

ASHLEY: I'm going to go over and I'm going to slap Gus in the face. (laughter)

MATT: (impacts) "Oh!"

ASHLEY: I just thought...

MATT: "No, it's f--"

ASHLEY: Okay, just to get it out of the way.

MATT: "Really?"

MARISHA: Ogdes, did that make you feel better?

MATT: "Oh yeah. Hey, all the rest of you want to go in, you're welcome to."

SAM: No.

MATT: "I'm kidding. I'm kidding."

LIAM: Well, it's like you always say, bird on a wire, rat in a pocket. (laughter)

TALIESIN: That's so true. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Rat in a pocket?

SAM: That it is, that it is.

ASHLEY: That is definitely a saying. I've heard that, too. (laughter)

MARISHA: Great, yes.

MATT: "I can--" (laughter)

TRAVIS: Rat in a pocket.

MATT: "I was going to lead you over to where Shotan's office is, the guy--"

LAURA: Is that Foreman Shotan?

MATT: "Yeah, who is responsible for handling the Crownset Cavern. But based on that little interaction there, I'll happily introduce you myself."

LAURA: Thank you.

MATT: Looks over toward Olly and goes, "Good to see you, Olly." (Olly) "Yeah, you too. I think we both enjoyed that more than you know. (sighs) Well, shall we?"

SAM: Yes, please.

ASHLEY: I'm sorry, Gus.

MATT: "All right."

TRAVIS: Lead the way.

MATT: Comes around and gives a heavy pat on the shoulder of Gus, who's still holding his cheek, like "(grunts)."

ASHLEY: I didn't slap you that hard.

LAURA: You slap harder, I think, than you would like to--

ASHLEY: Oh, do I?

LAURA: Yeah, yeah.

MATT: "It was a pretty sizeable hook. I'm not going to lie."

LAURA: You've got a good hand.

ASHLEY: I do?

MATT: "My molar's floating a little."

ASHLEY: (gasps)

LAURA: Yeah, yeah.

ASHLEY: That's nice. Well, I'm sorry. It just felt like the right time. Anyway.

MATT: He guides you through the open area to where the gate is where you can see there are two private guards posted. No Wilders in this establishment, they're all privately paid for by the mines themselves. As Ogdes approaches, he goes-- "As a mutual foreman of the mines here, I have authority to speak with-- Bruo. I would like to, under my name and position, vouch for these investigators and their compatriots. This is important business on behalf of-- (murmurs) Who's this on behalf of? Of the Chandei Quorum. Please let us in."

LIAM: We don't talk about Bruo. (laughter)

MATT: The gate opens.

LAURA: Already stuck in my head.

MATT: Let him inside. Continue down the hall and around the corner a bit. As he turns the corner. "Shotan Bruo, that's his name."

LAURA and SAM: Oh.

SAM: Foreman Shotan Bruo.

SAM and LAURA: Shotan.

MATT: Shotan Bruo.

LAURA: Oh, I spelled that so wrong.

MARISHA: Shotan?

MATT: Shotan.

TALIESIN and TRAVIS: Shotan.

ASHLEY: Me too. I put Foreman Snowden. I was way off. (laughter)

LAURA: I put Shodin.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay.

LAURA: Shotan, okay.

MARISHA: Brew, bro.

MATT: In this next deeper portion of the mine, you can see there are all manner of tools, pick axes and shovels. They have been arranged and left on the sides untouched. You can see as you walk along there is a faint layer of dust that has began to gather in places. The earlier footfalls of the troop, you can see leaves a little pathway as you go. Here, outside of the office, you can see there is a door to which Ogdes goes ahead and knocks on it. (knocks) (knocks) You hear muffled through it, "I'm working, not to see anyone. Go away." (Ogdes) "Shotan, it's Ogdes." (Shotan) "What do you want? What do you want with me?" (laughter)

SAM: Jesus.

LAURA: He's a jelly person.

MARISHA: He's got to be a jelly person. Maybe he is transforming.

MATT: "I am (knocks) bringing compatriots and investigators that need to talk to you on Quorum business."

LAURA: Is there a crack under the door?

MATT: There's a slight gap. Make a perception check.

SAM: ♪ What time is it? Shotan ♪

TRAVIS: Jesus. (laughter)

LAURA: Perception? Wow, my perception is shit. 11.

MATT: 11, okay. You don't see anything, kind of low light.

LAURA: Low light? Oh, no. It's not like the lights are out in there.

MATT: No, it's just not very bright. You can't really make out any shapes from the little gap that's beneath there. (knocks) (Ogdes) "Just open the door." (Shotan) "Oh, fine." (footsteps) (unlatches, creaks) It opens up and you can see there is a older, rotund, sweaty-looking dwarf fellow who is currently holding a small novelette in one hand. He's wiping his brow. As soon as the door opens, he looks out and sees the rest of you, sees the coats. "Oh shit."

LAURA: What's the book?

MATT: "Don't worry about it."

LAURA: Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. (laughter)

MATT: "What?"

LAURA: I was asking Matt.

MARISHA: The DM? Yeah! (laughter)

MARISHA: What's the book?

TRAVIS: I was informed you have--

MARISHA: Who are you? (laughter)

TRAVIS: Are those boobies? (laughter)

MATT: Ogdes goes, "There we go. He's all yours."

LAURA: Thank you.

MATT: Walks by and then gives a punch to Gus' shoulders. "It's good to see you, too."

TRAVIS: Thanks, Ogdes.

LAURA: That is progress.

ALL: Mm-hmm.

MATT: "It's bruise." The dwarf figure steps back, "I-- Look, I-- I'll comply with whatever you asking about. There's no funny business here."

TRAVIS: You're not in any trouble. No, no, this--

MARISHA: Well, maybe you are.

TRAVIS: Whoa, back it down a bit.

MARISHA: It's just you don't know what's going to work, right?

TRAVIS: Yeah, just give him a second.

MARISHA: Tell us everything you know.

LIAM: Down to a six.

MARISHA: And we'll be your friend.

LIAM: Bring it down to a six.

MATT: Make an intimidation check.

MARISHA: I said I'd be his friend. (laughter)

SAM: Good cop, dead cop. (laughter)

MARISHA: Natural 20. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

MARISHA: 26 total.

MATT: Oh my god. So as you do that, he goes (screams), and stumbles back, he trips over a stool, falls and hits the ground and is knocked unconscious.

ALL: (shouting) No!

TRAVIS: What did you do?

LAURA: I go over and pick up the book that he was reading.

MARISHA: Oh, good idea! (laughter)

SAM: I'll go heal him.

MARISHA: I'll go rummage through his desk. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Why don't we all come in and make ourselves comfortable? Let's make ourselves comfortable, shut the door and have a conversation.

MATT: Yeah, at this point, you can see both Olly and Gus are like, "Get in, get in." (laughter) Close the door behind.

LAURA: This is how y'all normally do it, right?

MATT: "No, this is not how we usually do this."

MARISHA: So we're doing it better?

MATT: "You're doing it messy. Shit."

ASHLEY: Well, we didn't know he was so clumsy, jeez.

MARISHA: I was honestly trying to be nice.

TRAVIS: Check the rest of the space. Go, look, check around, see and make sure we're the only ones in here.

SAM: So don't cure him yet?

TRAVIS: No. Are there any other rooms? Anybody else in here? Do the basics.

LAURA: What was he reading? (laughter)

TALIESIN: Check for slime. Check for--

LIAM: For holes.

TALIESIN and ASHLEY: Holes.

LIAM: Hole check!

MARISHA: Holes and slime.

LIAM: Book check, hole check.

MARISHA: Desk check.

TRAVIS: Secure the room.

MATT: Okay, so make an investigation check for those who are searching the room.

LAURA: Ooh, and I want to check his body and see if he's secreting any slime.

SAM: He's just a dude.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: How do you know?

TRAVIS: 24 investigation check.

LAURA: You don't know.

MARISHA: Investigation's not great, 10 total.

MATT: Okay. (laughs) Looking through this room-- This is... Just based on the general smell of the space, it seems like he just sits in here all the time. It very much smells of his body odor. He's a very stationary figure, it seems, and has probably been in this room, or continuously traveling to and staying in this room for his work days for quite a while. There's that stagnant person smell that sits in the interior. There are a couple of small oil lanterns that are hung from each side that are marked very low. They're probably burning pretty low. They probably need to have the oil replaced soon. Other than that, it's fairly bare. There's a small table, not even really a desk, that looks like it's-- Acts as a few small storage drawers. There are two chairs in the chamber. There's some tools that are off to the side. There is a small barrel filled with torches and fuel. The book that you find at his side, it's a not very well-written fiction piece about people at sea, searching for a new world.

LAURA and ASHLEY: Aww.

LAURA: What's the name of it? (laughter)

TALIESIN: You're so mean.

MATT: The New World Searchers. (laughter)

MATT: It's really, like I said, it's not well-written. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Ah, we've discovered Exandria print on demand.

MATT: Yep. As you--

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

TRAVIS: It's paperback, isn't it?

MATT: Yeah, no, as you peer through it you realize the back 20 pages are empty. He's writing this.

ALL: Oh.

TALIESIN: Oh no!

MATT: And he's not very good.

LAURA: That's so cute.

TALIESIN: Now I feel bad.

LAURA: I love it.

LIAM: New World Searchers. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Killing it. Killing it. (laughter)

LAURA: The front cover's really decorated.

TALIESIN: The night was humid.

MATT: Yeah. (laughter)

MATT: Bless that movie.

TALIESIN: I know.

MATT: Investigating the-- The contents of the drawers that you find there. There's very little in there. It's like anything of importance has been cleared out of this room.

SAM: That's suspicious.

MATT: There's some few writing implements. There is a ledger-like binder, but it's empty.

LAURA: Hmm.

MATT: There is a pile in the corner of dry paper wrappers that have been untwisted, snack trash.

LIAM: Werther's.

MATT: Yeah, a bunch of empty Werther's wrappers.

LIAM: No slime hole?

ASHLEY: Yeah, can I assist Orym in looking for slime holes?

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: I rolled a natural 20.

SAM: Oh!

MATT: Damn.

SAM: You knock out the hole.

LIAM: No slime holes?

MATT: No slime holes. (oohing)

MATT: This chamber is pretty sound. As you inspecting him, he's-- The room's pretty warm, and he himself a person in this space sweats, but he does not seem to be excreting the same slime-like material that some of the previous individuals--

LAURA: That's good.

SAM: He's clean.

TRAVIS: Before we wake him up, he seemed awful nervous to see you two. I know you've got green cloaks and stuff, but he seems a little twitchy.

TALIESIN: I think he's hiding something in the room.

MATT: "Maybe hiding something in himself?"

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: She pulls a knife out.

SAM: Oh god!

MATT: "I'm kidding. I'm fucking with you."

TALIESIN: Don't toy with me.

MARISHA: But maybe, though. This feels less like an office or a bedroom and more like a holding cell, like he's self quarantining or something.

MATT: "Maybe. I don't know. What do you think, Gus?"

MATT: "I think we question him properly."

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

MARISHA: Why are you cracking? He's cracking his knuckles.

LAURA: Do you normally question people after you...

MATT: "No, I ask them nicely, and then if they don't, I question them properly."

TRAVIS: Letters, let's get him up, on his feet.

SAM: I'll cast Cure Wounds and wake the perp up.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Did we pat him down?

TALIESIN: Before, I would...

LAURA: Yeah, let's pat him down.

MATT: Okay. You do find a handful of knives hidden on himself.

TRAVIS: I'll take care of those, thank you.

MATT: You find 30 solid platinum in a pocket.

SAM: Whoa!

TRAVIS: Chetney making it rain! (laughter)

TALIESIN: Ow. Ow.

MATT: Based on his dress, his rather threadbare dress, it's not gold and coppers. There's just a solid 30 platinum in a pouch.

TRAVIS: Baller.

MATT: Not even a pouch, a money belt thing that he has affixed to the side of his outfit.

TRAVIS: Like an inner, (chuckles) what are they called, fanny pack?

MATT: Yeah, more or less, like a fantasy fanny pack.

TRAVIS: The knives, just ordinary knives, or do they look to be of excellent make, or of significance?

MATT: They look like they were purchased yesterday. They've seen no use.

TRAVIS: Oh, good.

TALIESIN: Still have the sticker on.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: So he hit the bank, he bought some knives, and he locked himself in a hole--

SAM: For protection maybe, who knows?

TRAVIS: He thinks something's coming for him.

TALIESIN: Is he running or is he not running?

SAM: Let's ask him. I'll heal Shotan Bruo.

MATT: "(gasps) What's that? (yelps) It's a--"

SAM: It's okay. She's fine. She's fine.

LIAM: She's with us. She's very friendly, in fact.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "What happened?"

SAM: You slipped and fell.

ASHLEY: You tripped.

MARISHA: I was just trying to make your acquaintance. I'm so sorry.

MATT: "Well, you're the Seekers, aren't you?"

LAURA: Yeah, we're all the Seekers. All of us.

MATT: "So many of you."

LIAM: Deputies, some of us are deputies.

ASHLEY: You're not very surefooted.

MATT: (Gus) "They're not deputies."

LAURA: Numbers are growing. Seekers, Seekers, every last one.

TALIESIN: In the city.

MATT: "All right. So you are the foreman here of the closed Crownset, right?" He says, "Yeah. Right, why? What of it? It's closed." (Gus) "Why?" (Shotan) "Well... I was told to close it."

LAURA: By who?

MATT: "By the owners of the company."

ASHLEY: Who are the owners of the company?

MATT: "Well, they're the Underrush family."

ASHLEY: Oh.

LAURA: The what?

ASHLEY: The Underrush.

LAURA: Underrush? The Underrush family. That makes sense.

MATT: "Yeah, yeah."

TALIESIN: Generation, this has been their thing.

MATT: Gus glances over at Olly. Olly gives a nod. Gus goes, "All right, now the real talk," and grabs two of the fingers off his hand and starts bending them back a bit. He goes, "Who? Who put you up to this?" He's like, "(winces) I di-- (pained groans) (laughs) I don't know what else to tell ya! Ahh!"

ASHLEY: It sure sounds like there's a little more info in there.

SAM: Jesus.

MATT: Make an intimidation check. (laughs)

SAM: Good god.

ASHLEY: All the work. [ice clinking in liquid in metal mug]

LAURA and ASHLEY: (imitate ice clinking)

LIAM: DM powering down.

ASHLEY: 18.

MATT: 18. "(groans) I don't know who's taking care of it when the Underrush, I think... I'm just being paid to keep it closed. Please."

LAURA: Who paid you?

MATT: "I mean--"

LAURA: Someone handed you the coin.

MATT: Gus goes, "Pink lady's got a certain point," and is leaning the fingers in deeper.

LAURA: Why does he always say-- I'm purple.

MARISHA: You're definitely purple.

SAM: Gus, it's that low light thing.

MARISHA: That's true.

TRAVIS: Been out in the sun too much, fading.

MARISHA: Oh no!

MATT: (clicks) You can hear it snap.

SAM: Oh!

LAURA: Oh! (groans)

MATT: "Ah!" Gives a scream.

TRAVIS: Green sleeves.

LAURA: Uh-oh.

MARISHA: Holy fuck, that could've been us!

LAURA: Here we go.

MATT: Olly leans in to put a balm on it and goes, "Now, you see. He's an aggressive one, and like you heard, there's a lot of us now."

ASHLEY: Good cop, bad cop.

MATT: "So, it might be nice to answer the good faun lady about who's paying your bills on this one." He goes, "(whimpers) Look, it's..."

MARISHA: Stop crying! I can barely understand you.

TALIESIN: Really frustrating.

MATT: "Look. I just-- I get a package with some coin about once a week. The paperwork said it was being handled." You see, there's a lot of tension in his face about crossing a line.

LAURA: Fuck it, Detect Thoughts.

SAM: I'll Detect Thoughts. You save yours. (laughter)

LAURA: Both of us like, oh, 2nd-Level, we're so low right now!

SAM: I'll Detect Thoughts.

MATT: Okay. He's being very guarded. For initial thoughts are, "Oh my god, the pain! Oh, the pain! Oh, the pain! Oh! Oh, god! If they know, they'll kill me. If they know all I know, they'll kill me. I'll die! They'll find my body! I'll be dead. I can't say anything." (laughter)

LIAM: I'm Tiny Timbo. (laughter)

MATT: Do you want you push?

SAM: Yeah, I will. I'll push further.

TRAVIS: Yeah, let's get in there!

MARISHA: Yeah, come on!

LAURA: I mean, at this point.

SAM: Do I roll or do they?

MATT: They roll a saving throw.

SAM: Okay, it's just a 14 for me.

MATT: Yeah, it was a natural 10, so that gives them a 12.

LAURA: Oh, great!

MATT: So it does not get through. You push past.

SAM: My eyes sort of (buzzes) zoom in. See if I can read anything.

MATT: You suddenly feel something about your consciousness connecting past the boundaries of his. You sense images of the mines closing off and strangers coming and giving the order. People that he's unfamiliar with. When he asks about it, you see a memory of somebody coming and handing him a package that says, "The Treshis have ordinance here now. Expect another of these every week. Keep it safe. Keep it closed."

TRAVIS: Keep it secret.

MARISHA: Keep it safe.

MATT: As you pull out from that memory, he's like, "Well, there were some mining groups that were sent home not feeling well. We were afraid maybe it was a sickness had broken out, so we're just keeping it closed. Being careful. (laughs)"

SAM: All right, thank you, thank you. It's okay, let him go, Gus. It's fine. We got what we needed.

LAURA: We got it, yeah.

SAM: Treshi, Treshi.

LAURA: Don't say it loud.

SAM: Oh, sorry. Well, I mean, he knows already, and now we know.

MATT: His eyes are wide.

LAURA: Does he realize?

MATT: "I didn't say anything! What? No, no, no."

LAURA and SAM: You didn't say anything.

SAM: You're good.

LAURA: We know. You're safe. Minus your fingers, sorry about that.

TRAVIS: We're going to need access to the mines, that is if you want to see any of this again. (clinks)

SAM: There's a bunch of wood chips. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Don't spoil it! Fuck!

MATT: Still holding his hand. As he's looking at the coins, Gus' hand reaches over and grabs the broken fingers. He's like, "(shrieks)." Gus just goes, "Hey. The little man's got a point. You want your money back, we need access, and I might even do you a favor: fix this," (cracks) and pops it back and he's like, "(whimpers). Okay!"

TRAVIS: Looks much better that way.

LAURA: Look at that, it healed over. You've got two favors now.

MATT: "Thanks. Why am I thanking you? Ah!"

TRAVIS: Why am I thanking you?

MATT: "Oh!"

LIAM: We got what we needed. Can you do anything?

SAM: Sure, sure, sure, are we done here? He's going to give us access, right?

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Right?

SAM: Maybe I'll heal him right when we say goodbye.

MATT: "Yeah, yeah, sure, yeah."

LAURA: Maybe wait until--

MATT: "Fuck, I don't want any of this any more."

LAURA: We see what's inside.

ASHLEY: Wait, how long have they closed it? When did they close the mines?

SAM: Are you eating right now, during our interrogation?

ASHLEY: No, this is a Blow Pop.

SAM: Oh, okay.

TRAVIS: You got jerky, right?

ASHLEY: Yeah, it's jerky. My mouth is probably so blue.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Pocket bacon, it's imported.

MARISHA: It's on your shirt now.

ASHLEY: Yeah, that's what I was going for.

MATT: There you go.

TRAVIS: That blue swamp jerky.

LAURA: Did you eat the gum?

ASHLEY: Yeah, I'm chewing on it.

LAURA: Oh, okay, I thought you had swallowed it, and I was like, it's gum! (laughter)

ASHLEY: Wait, how long have... Oh no. (laughter)

MATT: You're good, you're good.

ASHLEY: How long have they asked you to close it, again?

MATT: "It's been a few months."

ASHLEY: That's right.

MATT: "It just--"

ASHLEY: I think I actually wrote that down.

MATT: "Once a week, they send someone to come by and just check up on things occasionally."

LAURA: Okay.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: "But she hasn't been by in a bit."

LAURA: She?

MATT: "Yeah?"

SAM: She.

LAURA: Shady. Shady she?

ASHLEY: Mother?

LAURA: Lady...

TRAVIS: Emoth Kade?

SAM: Emoth?

MATT: "(laughs) I'll show you. Yeah, you can come out." He just pushes past and walks out the door of his office. You can see, and still sensing his thoughts, is a scattering layer of, "Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck." Walks out, "Mines are this way!"

LAURA: I like to imagine when you're zooming in it's like a magnifying mirror that can zoom in to 30 times or 50. So you see every single pore of the person.

SAM: Yep.

LIAM: Enhance!

LAURA: It's like... I don't know. I just got this really good visual.

SAM: Can you draw it later?

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: I jog back with Olly and Gus. I just want to point out something, that, I know he's leading us where we need to go but we have his money, we have the physical threat of pain, unless he stays with us it's really not in our benefit to let him get behind us. Do you have any plans to keep him quiet and/or still?

MATT: "Don't worry. I got this taken care of."

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

MATT: So as you all continue down this path, you follow the tunnel and there are barricades set up and signs that say: "Mines Closed. No business to be conducted until further notice." Other notice papers that have been placed up and all around it. Pardon me. Shotan leads you through these and then down these roughhewn steps that go into numerous splinter off mining paths. You can see where this tunnel has been carved off and veins have been exploited and left dry. You can see where mineral deposits have been pulled free and anything of any immediate worth had already been taken of the stone and rock that surrounded. Then thus, more tunnels were dug deeper and further down. At a certain point, the tunnel levels out and what you see before you is a large, metallic cage, and a very thick iron chain affixed to the top of it that goes through a divot in the ceiling, and a winch. A winch that is attached to a smaller version of the automatons that you see that run the cable network.

LAURA: Oh, yeah.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay.

MATT: This one's more egg-shaped, and it's an odd design. It has no legs. It's just situated there and it has a rotating series of arms that are attached to this winch, this thick chain, and there's a lot of it. You're not quite sure how deep it goes into the ceiling before it emerges and you can see a doorway that opens to it and a platform within. "This'll take you down. (chuckles nervously)"

SAM: You're coming, too, right? To show us what's down there?

MATT: "I don't know what's down there. I don't go down in the mine. I just organize the workers. There's no workers so I just sit here and keep an eye, make sure no one goes in it. But you come here and break my fingers." Gus steps forward and goes, "Don't worry, friend, just keep an eye." As he puts his hand on his shoulder, there's a little glimmer in his eyes.

LAURA: (gasps) Modify Memory!

MATT: Natural one.

LAURA and SAM: Oh!

MATT: You watch as--

LAURA: Oh, wait, that's good, that's good.

MATT: Shotan looks at him and is like, "And yeah, no, I'll help however I can. Really, just let me know. I'll be right here, keeping an eye.

TALIESIN: Fuck.

MATT: "Thanks for fixing these, by the way. It's going to take a while to heal, but they already feel much better."

LAURA: So glad.

MATT: (Gus) "Yeah, no worries, happy to help. Just shout if anybody else comes through. Shall we?"

SAM: Yes, please.

TRAVIS: That was impressive. I just want to say.

LAURA: Yeah, that was a neat trick.

LIAM: These guys are good.

TRAVIS: I can see why people are spooked.

LAURA: Also, you could probably do anything you want and people don't seem to know.

MATT: "They eventually figure it out, but we move quick."

LAURA: All right.

MATT: "Would you mind opening the door for us?" (Shotan) "Oh, all right, all right." Pulls out a key and goes and opens up the gate. It's going to be a tight squeeze for your troop. You're going to be shoulder to shoulder to all fit in there, if you want to.

SAM: Yeah, we're sure.

TRAVIS: You can just leave the keys, actually, we'll bring them back on our way out.

MATT: "Oh," looks over to Gus. (Gus) "Yeah, any friends of ours, friends of yours." (Shotan) "All right, here you go. Keys are yours. Need anything, let me know."

MARISHA: Nice.

MATT: "I've got some water, perhaps a bit of wine afterward if you want to just catch up a bit, I guess."

MARISHA: That's great.

TALIESIN: That'd be really nice.

TRAVIS: What the fuck did he do?

MARISHA: Do you have any wine right now?

MATT: "I can go back, if you don't mind waiting."

MARISHA: Ah, no, we do.

MATT: "Okay. All right."

MARISHA: We do. Yeah.

MATT: "I'll stay here, then."

MARISHA: All right.

SAM: All right.

TRAVIS: We'll be seeing you.

MATT: As you all pile in and tense up inside this cage, he pushes the door closed. (squeaks)

SAM: Watch my feet.

MARISHA: Ow, you rolled over my toe!

LAURA: Ooh! Oh, her toe fell off.

MARISHA: I got to pop it back into place now.

LIAM: Did it fall through the slats?

TALIESIN: Don't bend over. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Are you squeezing your face through them?

LIAM: I'm pressed. Ashton's squishing me against the side!

TALIESIN: I'm doing my best right now.

ASHLEY: I don't like this thing at all. Very claustrophobic.

MATT: Shotan like pats the side of the autom-- Ovomaton, if you will. (laughs)

ASHLEY: You're so much cuter than that little thing.

SAM: Oh, well, thank you.

MATT: It begins rotating and the heavy layers and layers of chain begin (clicks) and release, and as it does (whooshes) the cage you're in begins to descend slowly.

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

LIAM: Can't wait to read your book!

MARISHA: I just look at Imogen.

MATT: "Oh, do you like it?"

LIAM: I just saw the cover.

LAURA: Some of the best writing I've ever seen.

TRAVIS: How could you?

MATT: Make a deception check.

TALIESIN: Why would you do that?

LAURA: You know, oh, that would be a 17.

MATT: 17?

LIAM: Dang.

MATT: "(happy cry)" (laughter)

SAM: (imitates happy cry)

TALIESIN: He's going to die thinking about a lie.

LIAM: "I got a good review on Goodreads!" (laughter)

MATT: It gets caught on a couple pieces of stone and then scrapes its way past and continues to descend.

LAURA: Were you saying something? Laudna, were you saying something to me?

MARISHA: Oh, I was just checking in with you because that was reminiscent of the cable car situation.

LAURA: Yeah, I can't-- How far down is-- This one is not nearly as high as the cable car.

TALIESIN: You can't prove that.

LIAM: Yeah, I can't see anything down there.

LAURA: Can we see how deep this is?

ASHLEY: Uh oh.

MATT: From where you are, make a perception check.

LAURA: Oh god.

MATT: With disadvantage.

MARISHA: (clanking)

SAM: Fearne, please. Must you every time?

LAURA: Six with disadvantage.

TALIESIN: How do you roll like that?

LIAM: I got a 24 with a straight roll, because I'm at advantage--

MATT: Indeed.

LIAM: -- for perception.

LAURA: Nice.

MATT: You do not have darkvision, correct?

LIAM: Do halflings have darkvision? But advantage and disadvantage doesn't stack, so it'd still be a straight roll.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: So it'd be a 24.

LAURA: God, stop it, it's creeping me out.

MATT: That's terrifying.

TRAVIS: 20 years younger, you look good. (laughter)

TALIESIN: You just pin it back, and it all dangles in a fair way.

MATT: It's very first Eccleston Who episode. So you glance over best you-- You have probably the best view, because you're pressed against the lattice. You're going to have markings on your face that are going to last for a few hours.

LIAM: While Ashton's butt is on the head.

MATT: Yep. (laughs) But glancing down the side, there is no light source below. There's just these lanterns that sit around the tops, that you can just catch the edge of it, and it's just darkness about 15, 20 feet below. So you have no idea how deep it goes.

LAURA: Oh, well, you know what, Laudna? I was doing just fine until this moment.

TRAVIS: You literally led her to that.

LAURA: Now I'm--

MARISHA: Oh fuck.

LAURA: No, it's fine.

MARISHA: I shouldn't have pointed it out. I'm so sorry.

LIAM: Imogen, it could be 20 feet, it could be 5,000. It's really hard to tell.

ASHLEY: ♪ Don't be nervous ♪

LAURA: Stop it, stop it, there's nobody else here. We're going to fall to our death.

SAM: Remember, you're flying like a bird and you're landing like a rat.

TRAVIS: Use horse analogies. Horses comfort her.

SAM: Oh yeah.

LAURA: Flying like a bird and landing like a rat.

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: A dead rat, just like Pâté?

MARISHA: Pâté lives again in my mind.

LAURA: Are we there yet?

LIAM: But your mind is dead, too.

MARISHA: Yes.

TALIESIN: One hour later.

LAURA: One hour later.

MARISHA: Yep.

LIAM: Yes.

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: Keeps descending.

SAM: Oh my god.

MATT: And keeps descending. And keeps descending for what feels like--

ASHLEY: ♪ We don't know where we're going ♪

SAM: Oh god.

MARISHA: You're super capable. You're the most capable person I know.

TALIESIN: What if it breaks down while we're down there and we can't get back up?

MARISHA: Wha-- Ashton! (laughter)

TRAVIS: What does it smell like now? Has the smell changed at all?

LAURA: I'd rather be stuck down there than fall down there.

MATT: Make a perception check.

LAURA: You know what I mean?

MATT: With advantage, because it is scent-based.

SAM: Do you need me to cast Calm Emotions?

LAURA: No!

LIAM: Save that slot.

LAURA: Save that spell.

TRAVIS: 17.

MATT: 17, the scent, it is that same subterranean, earthy, irony smell, but with a slightly seeping in mustiness that is familiar.

SAM: Ooh.

TALIESIN: Oh no.

TRAVIS: I think we're getting slightly closer. I'm getting whiffs of Emoth.

MARISHA: Oh.

LAURA: No, no, no.

MATT: Wow. Wow. Possibly in Exandria. So, it seems like, could it be 15 minutes, 30 minutes? Who knows how long you've been in this dark, lightless--

TRAVIS: Damn, really?

MARISHA: Holy shit.

LAURA: It's just pitch black?

TRAVIS: Fuck.

LAURA: Or do we have any light?

MATT: There is a little bit of lantern light on this--

LAURA: Dancing Lights of purpley, flashy lightning is around us.

MATT: There you go.

TRAVIS: Flashing lighting?

LAURA: Yeah, mine are like little lightning flickers.

LIAM: They're crackly.

MATT: It's pretty cool.

TRAVIS: Cool.

LIAM: Not glowing Jelly Bellys like mine were.

MATT: Yeah, you're not sure how long it's been, not because it's been that long, but just in this expanse, it feels forever.

MARISHA: Right.

MATT: Then eventually (grinding impact)

MARISHA: Fearne, was that you?

ASHLEY: Sorry. We made it, though.

SAM: Let's open up and get out of here.

ASHLEY: Oh no, we can't get it open!

LAURA: Stop it! (laughter)

TRAVIS: That's terrible. Terrible.

ASHLEY: We're stuck here forever!

MARISHA: All right, Chetney, lead the way.

TRAVIS: Me?

MARISHA: Yeah, you. You just threw open the gate. I don't know, you seemed very bullish.

TRAVIS: Sure, let me follow my nose.

LAURA: Do you want light down the tunnel or do you want--?

SAM: Yeah, do we need some lights?

TRAVIS: No, I don't need that.

LIAM: He got those canine senses.

MATT: A bit of coal dust that was kicked up from the impact just comes and settles around the cage. The darkened stone down here, surrounding you, you can see boxes and containers that were used for anything that was found within this mine, brought here to this elevator-like arrangement, just pressed off to the sides and abandoned. You can see the path continues on ahead for roughly 60 or so feet and it seems to splinter a bit, before your vision from the lights begins to fade into darkness. But that smell is strong. That muskiness is very strong.

TRAVIS: It's getting potent. There's a fork up ahead.

LAURA: A what?

TALIESIN: In that case-- A fork. I'm going to cast Pass Without A Trace, then.

ASHLEY: How can you sense something so small?

LIAM: (sword unsheathing)

LAURA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: I'm sorry, that was so stupid.

LAURA: No, it was so good.

SAM: This is just like a drilled cavern? There's no drop offs on the sides of us or anything like that?

MATT: From where you're standing, no. In fact, it looks like the path that you came through may have been some sort of either a natural pocket that then this mine extended beyond. You're not sure how this massive carved shaft came to be, but the-- Hmm. I always look to you.

TRAVIS: Just don't look, just don't look.

MATT: It's really bad.

LIAM: It's the birds and the bees.

MATT: It's the head tilt in my periphery that I'm like: Goddamn it.

LAURA: (laughs)

MARISHA and LIAM: Birds and the rats.

SAM: Would someone with geology experience know how this shaft was formed?

ASHLEY: Oh yes, let me see.

MARISHA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Should I roll anything?

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LIAM: And you're lighting us up still?

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, I can take them down if it seems like--

SAM: Nature?

LAURA: -- I'm giving too much light.

LIAM: But for now.

MATT: Yeah, nature.

ASHLEY: Nine. (laughter)

SAM: You have a negative nature score?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

SAM: You're a druid! (laughter)

LAURA: But, you know, I bet if we were in the fey realm, she would, like--

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: She would get it.

ASHLEY: I would know. I've never seen shit like this before.

MATT: Gus and Olly fan out from the sides of the cavern and they're starting to look around the materials and beginning to notice that another smell that catches you is new. Kind of mingling with that muskiness. It's a heavy, similar rot to what you had smelled in the inside of Dugger's abode, but it's more acrid and flesh-rotty, if that makes sense.

LAURA: Ew!

TRAVIS: More decay?

MATT: More decay.

LIAM: Similar to Laudna?

TRAVIS: I get out the wooden--

LAURA: She doesn't smell.

TRAVIS: -- wooden mallet and the chisel.

MARISHA: You might've gotten used to it.

TRAVIS: Time to get thunder and lightning ready for the storm.

SAM: (laughs)

SAM: I'm going to affix my saw blade hand, Matt.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Oh boy. I feel like he just-- did he just change the music?

SAM: Maybe.

LAURA: I'm going to get ready. I'm going to prep to cast Mage Armor, but I'm not going to cast it just yet. Well, I'll see how long it lasts. Oh, it's eight hours? Fuck it, I'm casting it.

MATT: There you go. (laughs)

TALIESIN: Hey.

ASHLEY: Hey, Mister. Psst.

MATT: (monkey sounds)

ASHLEY: Come here.

MATT: (monkey panting)

ASHLEY: I know it's dark. Just, it'll be fine. You got it.

MATT: You watch as he gets up there. He lifts a hand out and it just lights up a little flame and lights up the area around you.

ASHLEY: Good boy, that's a good choice. Good job.

MATT: What is your marching order, if you would?

ASHLEY: Oh boy.

SAM: Do we need light or no? You're the tip of the--

LAURA: I have it. There's a light for 120 feet.

SAM: Did you already cast it?

LAURA: I have Dancing Lights up, so.

SAM: It's already up?

LAURA: Yeah, it's been up.

SAM: Oh okay.

MATT: Now, the light, they can travel up to 120 feet. It doesn't light up up to that space.

LAURA: Right, right, right.

MATT: So how far ahead of you are you keeping them?

LAURA: It depends on what Chetney needs.

TRAVIS: I don't need-- I've got 60 feet, so if you want to stay back where you can use it, yeah.

LIAM: You can string them like Christmas lights, too.

LAURA: Yeah. Yeah, that was--

LIAM: All right.

LAURA: I'll probably send one 60 feet up.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Then, yeah, just keep it 30 and then at us.

MATT: Okay. So you send that first orb up, gliding ahead of Chetney, as he has his utility tools at the ready. Two Green Seekers are flanking off to the sides and are poking around some of the leftover tools. You can see there's a sludge, a familiar, almost-dried, partially-dried goop that is easy to recognize along a lot of these tools and parts of the wall. As the orb drifts ahead and begins to alight where the two spaces are, you see it first. You see movement along the ground. It looks to be two, three, maybe five shade creepers, coming out of the darkness towards you. You glance up--

TRAVIS: I take my chisel and I drag it along my thigh.

TRAVIS: All right.

SAM: Jesus.

LIAM: Is it too late to say that I trailed Chetney by 15 feet?

MATT: We'll say you've been keeping a 15 feet trail there. So you see two to one side, three to the other, up to where this division is. They're like (snarls). They're not rushing you, they're just walking along the ground with their arms and legs coming towards you. The blackened cloaks that they kept on them in previous encounters are not present. They are just these slick, gray, smooth bodies with an ear-less, tooth-filled, wide mouth and burning eyes, just like (snarls). They're just slowly crawling towards you. You see movement above you, as you see more along the ceiling.

LAURA: Oh wow.

MATT: And some on the walls.

MARISHA: It's like The Descent.

MATT: What you can see now is maybe 15 of them between both sides. Seven one one and eight on the other, now just (snarls).

TRAVIS: We've got dozens above, around, and in front of us.

LAURA: Oh god, they're everywhere.

MATT: You get this--

TRAVIS: I turn around and slap Imogen. Keep it together!

MATT: You get the sense--

LAURA: We're all going to die, man! We're all going to die!

MATT: Game over, man. You get the sense that the heavy impact of the cage impacting reverberated through these halls and called--

TRAVIS: Good job, Fearne.

LIAM: (like Gandalf) "Fool of a Took." (laughter)

TRAVIS: "Rid us of your stupidity."

MATT: Let's go ahead and roll some initiative here.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we're doing it! Are we doing it?

LIAM: Oh shit.

SAM: There's a map already?

TRAVIS: Oh, I was hoping we would!

LAURA: Oh god!

TRAVIS: It's Christmas!

LAURA: Okay, okay, all right, all right, all right.

SAM: Whoa.

TRAVIS: All right, all right.

LAURA: What are we doing?

TRAVIS: All right, all right.

LAURA and MARISHA: All right, all right, all right.

TRAVIS: God, you--

ASHLEY: Whoa!

MARISHA: Wow, that's--

LAURA: Ooh, it's so pretty!

SAM: That's a fun map.

LIAM: There's our cage.

SAM: It's all purplely.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: And crystally and beautiful.

MATT: Oh goodness me.

TALIESIN: There's chain on the floor.

MATT: The minis of our troop that were moved for our last one shot, are not on the table.

LAURA and LIAM: Oh no!

SAM: That's okay.

LIAM: Get us stand ins.

SAM: Just use what you got. Use what you got.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: I'll see what I can find real fast.

TALIESIN: I call nickel.

LAURA: Oh no.

LIAM: Ha ha. I'll be Twig.

SAM: This mini search brought to you by Quip.

MARISHA: Where be the minis?

TRAVIS: We could also surge search and come back.

LIAM: F.C.G. will just be a toothbrush.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LAURA: Like our actual minis are nowhere to be found?

SAM: Stolen!

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Are they under--?

MARISHA: Yeah, are they in your cubby or anything like that?

MATT: I don't see them.

SAM: This is gripping television.

LIAM: This has never happened before.

ASHLEY: No, this is a first.

TALIESIN: I love that, 20 feet away, there are probably five people panicking madly at the moment.

LAURA: Could they be--

MARISHA: Oh, oh.

SAM: Hey, look at that.

MATT: (off-screen) Are they in here? (cheering)

MARISHA: Producer Max.

SAM: Maxwell James.

MATT: This is why we have a production of people who are amazing.

SAM: Max knows everything.

MATT: Okay. (deep voice) Oh yes. All right.

LIAM: (deep voice) Gadget.

LAURA: (like Jester) Mister.

TALIESIN: Ooh, we're going there?

TRAVIS: Is Mister out?

LAURA: Mister is out.

TALIESIN: Mister is indeed out.

MATT: Let's say are you going to the right or the left of where that splinter was? Were you were heading towards.

TRAVIS: Left!

SAM: Yeah, always left, he turns left.

MATT: All righty.

ASHLEY: What's that chain?

MATT: Put that there.

LAURA: I don't know. What is the green shit on the ground?

MATT: That is--

TRAVIS: Put it in your mouth and find out.

LIAM: Orym will be on Chetney's six.

MATT: Okay, so about there?

LIAM: Yeah, I'll put him 10 feet back, I guess, at this point.

LAURA: Oh no, I instantly have to pee.

MARISHA: I know, right?

MATT: Go pee now while I'm getting set up.

TRAVIS: Did you have a low initiative or a high initiative?

LAURA: I have a low initiative.

TRAVIS: What's your number?

TALIESIN: I'm high value.

LAURA: I'm nine.

TRAVIS: Okay.

SAM: What was yours, Tal?

MATT: Thank you for your patience, everyone.

TRAVIS: 16?

LIAM: This de Rolo pee break brought to you by Dwarven Forge.

SAM: Well, here we go.

TRAVIS: ♪ Ain't nothin' but a heartache ♪ (laughter)

MATT: So--

TRAVIS: I don't know why.

MATT: FGC, where would you like to be?

SAM: I'll be right in front of Imogen.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: If that's all right.

MATT: I don't know where Imogen's going to be.

SAM: That's where she's going to be, and I'm right in front of her.

MATT: Fearne?

TRAVIS: (whispers) Spread out.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Ja.

ASHLEY: Ja.

SAM: ♪ Ain't nothin' But a mistake ♪

TRAVIS: ♪ I never wanna hear ♪

ASHLEY: I'm going to--

TRAVIS: ♪ you say ♪

ASHLEY: -- stand on that rock behind Orym.

MARISHA: ♪ I-- ♪

MATT: Right here?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: ♪ I never wanna hear you say ♪

SAM: Nasal sync.

LIAM: I'm going to roll psychic damage for myself.

MATT: Mister right there?

TRAVIS: Sorry.

MARISHA: Laudna will be back a little bit, back next to Imogen, yeah.

MATT: Right here?

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's just pretty much where I can go, right?

MATT: You go back here, if you want.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: I'd ask Taliesin, but he's not present.

SAM: Fucking Ashton just fucking wants to fucking go.

MATT: Oh, there he is.

TALIESIN: Deal with the weak kids.

LIAM: (Irish accent) Did you already urinate?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LIAM: That was fast.

MATT: With the weak kids back here?

SAM: He just didn't wash his hands.

TALIESIN: Right in front of them.

MATT: Right in front of them.

SAM: Got back here quick.

MATT: All righty.

TALIESIN: Yeah, something in the way of the 10-pointers.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: 10 hit points.

TRAVIS: You're up, Laura.

LAURA: Me, already? No, I'm not.

SAM: ♪ Something in the way she moves ♪

MATT: Oh my goodness.

SAM: I don't know what's happening.

LAURA: Did we announce our initiative yet?

SAM: No, we did not.

LAURA: What happened?

MATT: I can't find the minis for them right now, so I'll just say, for the time being, this is over here inspecting. Oh god, I'm sorry.

TALIESIN: I knew they'd turn on us.

MATT: That's Olly.

LIAM: The bigger they are.

MATT: Indeed. This over here will be Gus. All righty.

LIAM: A battle hand. Give me rock or a bird.

MATT: There you go, you can do it, I believe it. All right, 25 to 20.

LIAM: Dang.

MATT: 20 to 15?

LIAM: 17.

TALIESIN: 16.

MATT: All righty.

LIAM: Shite.

MATT: 15 to 10?

TRAVIS: 11.

MARISHA: 11.

SAM: 10.

LAURA: Which one is higher? It's probably Chetney.

MARISHA: I imagine Chetney.

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: Oh wait, 14's your dex?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: 14's my dex.

SAM: Rollies.

ALL: Rollies!

MARISHA: Nine.

TRAVIS: 10! (cheering) (laughter)

LIAM: Whoa, neck and neck.

LAURA: You were?

SAM: 10.

LAURA: All right.

MATT: All right.

SAM: A-hyuk hyuk.

TALIESIN: Scanlan mini, something like that.

SAM: Nice.

MATT: You both had 11, 10.

TRAVIS: I think Imogen's nine.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: And Fearne.

ASHLEY: Six for me.

LIAM: Oh boy.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Did you just boop me?

SAM: Boop. (laughs)

TRAVIS: But we don't know where Gus and Olly roll.

SAM: This is intense, this battle already.

MARISHA: I know.

SAM: It took us 20 minutes just to roll initiative. (laughter)

SAM: Oh boy, all right, here we go.

LIAM: Oh, they're everywhere.

LAURA: Oh god.

LIAM: Dang.

MATT: There's some there. They're crawling on the ceiling there. Up over here.

SAM: ♪ Oh, what a feeling! ♪

TALIESIN: No, I do not like it.

ASHLEY: Can I look back at Olly.

TRAVIS: ♪ Crawlin' on the ceiling ♪

ASHLEY: Olly, don't forget they blow up when you kill them.

MARISHA: Good call, Fearne.

MATT: "Right, right, good to know. Fuck."

TRAVIS: (laughs) "Fuck."

MATT: All righty.

SAM: Gus, remember, even though that relationship didn't end the way you wanted it, you're still a worthy person.

MATT: "Shut the fuck up." (laughter)

TRAVIS: Oh shit! Emotional damage!

MARISHA: Where do Gus and Olly live?

SAM: Yeah, they're these two.

MARISHA: Oh yeah, but I mean on the initiative order. Or do we not get to know that?

MATT: Yeah, it doesn't matter for you.

LIAM: But they're not invisible, right?

MATT: They're not, that's just what I have on hand right now. I put the minis somewhere, and I'm going to have to grab them after our original kerfuffle here.

LIAM: Right, right, right.

MATT: Bear with the chaos. But if you've run a game, you know what this is like.

LIAM: Listen, Matt, you did a 20-minute dramatic scene with yourself but you just failed, so pack it up. (laughter)

MATT: I will go ahead and put these in here as well. These are just more shade creepers, but I ran out of minis.

LIAM: Oh, I don't like those guys.

ASHLEY: This is very cool.

MARISHA: Look at this piece, it's like the crystal--

LAURA: I know, I like it.

MARISHA: It's so cool.

MATT: All righty. Top of the round, we have Orym, with Ashton on deck. What do you do?

LIAM: Jeez, okay. I'm going to rush past Chet.

MATT: All righty.

LIAM: To, jeez, this gentleman on the floor here.

MATT: Yeah, you can get there easily.

LIAM: I'm not hanging back, I'm going to go to town. Let's make it a-- I'll go for a bonus action Feinting Attack. Dodge left, juke, and I'll try to stick them in the side.

MATT: You got it.

LIAM: That's one superiority die down, at advantage. Big rolls, 18 plus a bunch of stuff.

MATT: Definitely hits.

LIAM: So. Switch to-- Switch, switch. Okay, that is three plus five is eight, plus the superiority die. 14 damage.

MATT: 14 damage.

LIAM: Oh, but it's two attacks because I'm level five now.

MATT: As you rush forward (guttural screeching) you go and slash towards it. (guttural groan)

LIAM: All done? Oh.

SAM: These are easy.

MATT: It burns and flashes into dark flame. I need you to go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw.

LIAM: Oh jeez. That's real low, that's an eight.

MATT: That's eight, you take four points of fire damage.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: You slice and you feel the intense heat of it incinerating next to you.

LIAM: Okay, I think I probably have five more feet of movement so I'll move to the one up on the rise there. Yep, going again. That is a 14.

MATT: 14 hits.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: Just hits.

LIAM: That is four, that is nine points of the slashing damage.

MATT: Nine points of damage, got it. This one is prepared for you as you rush at the side and begins to back up. You managed to catch it in the shoulder and carve down its arm. It's like (snarls), but it holds its ground.

LIAM: Done.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: How much damage did you do on the first one?

MATT: Ashton, you're up. First one was 14, I think it was.

TALIESIN: Good to know. Okay, well I'm going to fucking rage.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Let's go.

MARISHA: He doesn't ask to rage, he fucking rages.

TALIESIN: I fucking rages. I do not like to rage, I do not want to rage. I fucking rage.

LIAM: (like Grog) Surprise, bitches. Surprise, gents.

TALIESIN: Oh shit, no, almost. Fuck, goddamn it, so close. That's okay.

MATT: So what happens?

TALIESIN: I hit Time.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: That'll be interesting, and not quite the one I was hoping for, but it'll do.

MATT: That's how it works.

TALIESIN: All right, I'm standing there.

MARISHA: Every time it hits Time, you're like, "Ah, god."

TALIESIN: Everything is useful in very specific situations, and you just you're going to hit that situation. Okay, let's see what we got. There's two up on the ceiling?

MATT: Yep.

TALIESIN: How high up on the ceiling?

MATT: About 12 feet. 12, 15 feet.

TALIESIN: So a little high for me.

MATT: A little high for you, yeah.

TALIESIN: I get two attacks, though. All right, I'm going to... run up to the one that's curling around the corner right there. I'm just going to get in the way of it.

MATT: Around here?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: You got it.

TALIESIN: I'm going to take an attack on that guy.

MATT: Go for it. With the swing to the side.

TALIESIN: Just trying to get him right into the wall with a nice big turn, that's 20 to hit.

MATT: That definitely hits, roll damage.

TALIESIN: Oh man, it's been a while.

TRAVIS and MARISHA: ♪ Been a while! ♪

TALIESIN: I didn't mean to do it, there we are. That's 18 points of damage.

MATT: You splatter against the rock face. It bursts into flames. Make a dexterity saving throw for me, please.

TALIESIN: I have advantage on that, don't I?

MATT: You do.

TALIESIN: All right, come on.

TALIESIN: 11?

MATT: 11 succeeds. So you do not take any damage.

TALIESIN: I'm also, on the second spin. I'm going to get, since I blew up that first guy, I assume.

MATT: You did.

TALIESIN: I'm going to throw, I'm actually going to move right onto the next one.

MATT: All right, you shift even deeper into the alley. Wham with an overhead slam.

TALIESIN: Coming in, another smash.

TRAVIS: Smash 'em.

TALIESIN: Fuck. Got it. Why is it happening?

TRAVIS: Why is it happening?

TALIESIN: 16 to hit?

MATT: 16 to hit, that hits, yeah.

TALIESIN: Oh god, all right, let's do this again. (blows raspberry) Really?

MARISHA: Sounds hopeful. Sounds good.

TALIESIN: 10 points of damage.

MATT: 10 points of damage. All righty.

LIAM: (thuds) (blows raspberry) This one you do manage to slam it overhead, it crumbles onto the ground, but pushes off and resists it. While you see it coughing up a bit of its own blood, it's still standing and pushes the hammer off to the side before (snarls).

TALIESIN: How much movement have I used?

MATT: That would be 20.

TALIESIN: 20, I'm going to back up about 10 feet just to try and get in the way of anything.

MATT: There?

TALIESIN: Even a little further. Yeah, just to get in the way of anything coming for the squishy kids.

MATT: It does lash out at you with its claws. For a natural one.

TALIESIN: (laughs)

MATT: You're there for a second, and then just zip back with unnatural speed and it misses you entirely.

TALIESIN: That's right, I'm doing the little phasey.

MATT: Yeah. All righty, that finish your go? That brings us to, okay.

SAM: Uh-oh.

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: As you are engaging with these creatures, here in the area, you can hear other skittering sounds down the hall. In particular, you see two more. You see, Orym, down here. Two more of them here that are clambering down. One of them looks up and then steps back and then dropping from the ceiling, you see another shade creeper but it has four weird claw arms. It looks a bit malshaped.

MARISHA: Oh boy.

MATT: Where its kind of humanoid, toothy, front mouth-jaw area is, it's just broken open into two hanging clawed jaw bits.

MARISHA: Cool.

MATT: There.

SAM: What is that thing?

MATT: It scampers towards you with an unnatural speed.

LAURA: Oh god.

ASHLEY: Oh no.

MATT: Up to there. It's going to go ahead and take two strikes. Actually, no, it's going to take one strike on you.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: That's going to be 17 to hit.

LIAM: Nein.

MARISHA: Nein.

MATT: Off to the side. As you knock its claws, its head comes up, and its two lower pointed jaws curl back in. (growls, spews) Releases this globule of spittle towards you. I need you to make a dexterity saving throw for me, please.

LIAM: Yaas.

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

LIAM: That is a 17.

MATT: 17, you just barely duck your head out of the way as it fires off and hits the wall and just drips in this slow molasses-like way.

LIAM: Acid mucus?

MATT: You're not sure.

LIAM: Okay. Zero damage, or half damage, or--

MATT: No damage.

LIAM: (excited noise)

MATT: All righty. That finishes its go. That brings us now to Chetney, with Laudna on deck.

TRAVIS: What the fuck. Okay, can I see that shade creeper up on this ridge?

MATT: You can, yeah.

TRAVIS: Can I try and scurry up and try and get in within melee of him?

MATT: He's up, about 12 feet up against the edge of the wall and the ceiling. You could try and make an acrobatics check to run up the wall and try and strike it before landing back on the ground.

TRAVIS: Before staying down on the ground.

LIAM: What about the new one?

TRAVIS: Yeah, that's probably the best.

LIAM: Let's go, Popeye.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'll run in for old arachnid face.

MATT: Okay. Right up there against that guy there?

TRAVIS: I'll make two strikes against him with my wood chisel!

MATT: Go for it. (laughter)

TRAVIS: That's a 25 to hit.

MATT: 25? That definitely hits.

TRAVIS: That's a 12. That's 17 points of slashing damage.

MATT: Nice.

TRAVIS: That five goes against me. Hold on. Okay, and the second one is 15 plus seven is 22.

MATT: That hits.

MARISHA: Nice, nice, nice.

TRAVIS: Three plus seven is 10 plus six. 16 points of damage.

MATT: Dang, nice.

MARISHA: That's pretty good.

LIAM: Snicker-snack.

MATT: All righty. Both strikes with your chisel, carving deep into this creature's skin. As you pull back it tears, exposing muscle and the muscle seems to tense up inside and withdraw from where the wound is. It's an odd sight. Like you cut open and the insides go and curl away from the wound. It's really gross. That's your action.

TRAVIS: It is, it's my action, and for my bonus action, I'm going to say: How the fuck did we get in this side of the cave? (laughter) That's it.

MATT: Okay. Finishing your go, Laudna, you're up, with F.C.G. on deck.

MARISHA: Fucking bruh. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Laudna cracks a little and I reach my hands out and you see carbon and coal-like oil start to ooze from the sides of the cave and she sucks it up and Eldritch Blast.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: Let's go, let's go.

MATT: Towards?

MARISHA: Towards! What was the one that Orym? This one that Orym fucked up real good?

LIAM: Yeah, the one on the right there.

MARISHA: Then isn't there one lingering that Ashton fucked up?

TALIESIN: Yep, the one in the cave.

MARISHA: Because I can hit two now.

MATT: That's true. Then, when do I call twinned spell?

LIAM: Both sides of the cave?

TRAVIS: That's pretty cool.

MARISHA: Huh?

MATT: What's up?

MARISHA: Twinned Spell.

MATT: Okay, so you're Twinned Spelling this. You fire-- Twinned Spell works for a spell that has a single target. You could twinned spell...

MARISHA: Can't twinned spell dual Eldritch Blasts?

MATT: No.

MARISHA: Damn it!

MATT: But you can Quicken Spell, I think it is, where you can turn an Eldritch Blast cast into a bonus action and then do it twice in one round.

MARISHA: Oh yeah, yeah.

MATT: If you have that.

MARISHA: That's actually what I'm meant to say. (laughter)

SAM: Sure.

MARISHA: I know that sounds shady, but that's what I meant. I'm going to Quicken Spell one of them.

MATT: You have Quicken Spell, too?

MARISHA: Yes, I do. Quicken and-- I have Twinned and Quicken Spell. I'm going to do that.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay.

MATT: You spend the sorcery points and you are firing now four Eldritch Blasts.

SAM: Whoa!

LIAM: Four Eldritch Blasts?

MARISHA: Eldritch Blast! Let's just do these two. The two that Chetney and Orym are going after. Do I roll for each one, right?

MATT: Yes.

MARISHA: Plus seven, plus seven on each. Oh, those are both sixes. So six plus seven--

SAM: 13 and 13.

MARISHA: -- is 13 and 13?

MATT: 13, 13.

LIAM: That does it.

MATT: Both miss. (groaning)

MARISHA: All right, I got two more.

TRAVIS: Come on, come on, come on!

MARISHA: I'm going to do the exact same ones again. Orym and Chet-- Son of a fucking cock. (laughter)

MARISHA: Worse, both of them, four and three.

ALL: No!

MATT: All miss! Like a widespread machine gun, Laudna comes out ready to fire and just hits--

MARISHA: (yells furiously)

TRAVIS: Focus!

SAM: Too much power.

LAURA: It was so cool.

ASHLEY: So cool.

MATT: That was really cool.

ASHLEY: I wanted it for you.

MARISHA: How could I roll that low? I was rooting for you.

LIAM: Chetney, Ashton, and Orym, (yells). (laughter)

MARISHA: You just see black pour from Laudna's eyes, and she's like: Aah, bla-- aah.

TALIESIN: Oh, that's the sad ichor.

MARISHA: I can't, hang on.

TALIESIN: That's the sad ichor.

ASHLEY: I'm not crying.

MARISHA: I'm not cry, I'm just. (groans)

LAURA: You got it next time, Laudna.

MATT: Yep, you can do it. You want to move anywhere or are you going to stay put?

MARISHA: No.

MATT: Okay. F.C.G., you're up.

MARISHA: Can I move back or away? That's as far as I can go, right? I'm in the corner?

MATT: You can back behind the cage you all arrived in.

MARISHA: Yeah, in my shame.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: (laughs) In my shame.

SAM: I will roll forward a bit down that same hallway that my friends are down. I'll turn up towards my right, and a little door opens up, and flame shoots out.

MATT: It's a Sacred Flame?

SAM: A Sacred Flame, yeah.

MATT: All righty.

SAM: To hit.

MATT: That is-- well, I think it's a saving throw on that one. I think it is, right?

SAM: Oh! It is. No-- Oh, a dexterity 16 to save. You're right.

MATT: Yeah, that is-- It rolled a 16.

SAM: Sorry, it's dexterity 14 to save.

MATT: Yeah, so, it succeeded.

SAM: Okay, so, no damage or half?

MATT: What does it say?

SAM: Oh boy, I got to learn my spells. Nope, it just, nothing. Zero damage.

MATT: Yep, yep. It's all or nothing.

SAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: Welcome to clerics.

MATT: You go up to release it and it pulls away (growls) and then it blasts against the stone, not affecting anything, unfortunately.

SAM: Then as a bonus action, I'll cast Spiritual Weapon.

MATT: Okay! What do we got?

SAM: Seeing as how Laudna missed terribly, I will cast a spiritual image of a bullseye to try to guide her next time, and the bullseye will try to crash down on the guy, the main guy, the big, crazy, or girl.

MATT: Okay, I don't have a bullseye. So we'll take this--

SAM: How dare you.

MATT: We'll take this Orb of Annihilation.

SAM: Great. (laughter)

MATT: There you are. There?

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: Sure.

SAM: And can it also attack on this?

MATT: Yeah, it can.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: Go ahead and roll an attack.

SAM: Rolling an attack. 17 plus stuff probably hits, right?

MATT: That hits, yes.

SAM: Okay, 1d8 plus three. Six plus three, nine points of damage, fire damage. No, something damage. I don't know what kind of damage. Sacred damage.

MATT: It's radiant.

TALIESIN: Radiant.

MATT: Spiritual Weapon.

SAM: I don't know. (laughter)

LAURA: I don't know. Clerics.

LIAM: And I never will.

MATT: This target appears, and then the target-- What does the target do?

SAM: The target, it's like a large archery target, and it hovers up and it bunks down on its head. (laughter)

MATT: Because of course.

TALIESIN: So awkward.

SAM: And now it's just sitting there--

SAM: to help--

LAURA: So you'll know where to hit.

SAM: -- to guide Laudna's next attack.

TALIESIN: Then it hits the spiritual weapon and not the actual--

SAM: Well, yeah, it's hovering down right in front of it.

MATT: Perfect.

LAURA: Perfect.

MATT: The creature's like, (growls). Even it's kind of confused by the concept. I love it. Okay, that finishes your go. All right, with that, Gus. Gus is going to go ahead and step up a bit. He sees this crowded room here.

ASHLEY: Yeah, Gus, Gus.

MATT: (sighs) All right. He sees even more crawling in from that side as well. Looks like there are...

MARISHA: For me? Aww! I hope I should be.

LAURA: We need the Orb of Annihilation there.

TALIESIN: Oh, for fuck's sakes.

MATT: Even more in that area there rushing in.

LAURA: Oh. Oh!

SAM: Wait, there's more things?

LAURA: There's more things came running in?

MATT: Yeah, there's more rushing into that space there, and Gus is going to glance over and be like, "Yeah, not today." He's going to put his hands out for a second, and he's going to draw his fingers in this strange long line, grab the edges of it, and bend it into itself, and as it does, this ring of flame begins to appear. He takes it and twists it into this tiny little bead (blows) and throws it up. (explosion)

TRAVIS: Yeah!

MATT: There is an echoing explosion in the area--

LAURA: Oh no.

MATT: -- as flames (whooshes) whip around.

TRAVIS: Fuck yes!

MATT: All of them are, I mean, we're going to roll damage here unless he rolls really low.

TRAVIS: Consumed in Fireball.

LAURA: Was it very loud?

LIAM: Fireball.

MATT: It's not quiet, but then again, none of this is.

TRAVIS: It is. It's like, (blows quietly). (laughter)

TALIESIN: Yeah, this is no longer a stealth mission.

MARISHA: Yeah, you light the gas of the and (blows).

LIAM: Oh jeez.

MARISHA: (grunts) Yeah! (laughs)

MATT: 29, even if they make their save, yeah.

SAM: Yes!

LAURA: Nice.

SAM: Oh my god.

ASHLEY: Oh my god!

LAURA: Sweet.

LIAM: AOE.

SAM: Gus.

TRAVIS: Well, cool.

MARISHA: Why are we here?

TRAVIS: Why are we on this side? (laughter)

MATT: After the flames revert, Gus goes, "Oh, haven't done that in a while. (laughs) Any more coming?" Let's sit down on that. That's going to finish his turn.

TRAVIS: That was hot.

LAURA: Imogen, you're up.

LAURA: Well, Gus, you did what I was going to do. (chuckles) Well, not quite. I guess I'll run. Oh, shit balls. How many do we have over on this side now? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. But I can't get over there. I will run over that direction so I have a line of sight down this tunnel.

MATT: Okay. About there, you can definitely see this area.

LAURA: Okay, and I'm going to shout to-- Ah, shit balls. I don't want to do-- Okay. I'll just do... I'm going to use a sorcery point, and I'm going to do Twinned Spells as well.

TRAVIS: Nice, let's go.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Aim for the bullseye!

LAURA: And I'm going to-- (chuckles) Yeah. Aim for the creepy crawly big guy.

MATT: The larger one? Okay.

LAURA: I'm going to aim for one of the dudes up on the wall to my right. Yeah, that one.

MATT: Right there? Okay, so that one and that one. Go for it. What are you casting?

LAURA: All right, and I'm going to cast Dissonant Whispers on them.

MATT: All righty, what save is that? That is--

LAURA: That is a wisdom save.

MATT: Wisdom save, so the large one... Fails. Small one... 17, actually.

LAURA: Oh well, all right. Then he takes half damage?

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: Seven, nine, shitty rolls. Nine points of psychic damage.

MATT: Nine points psychic damage, to the big guy.

LAURA: The big guy has to immediately use its reaction to move as far away from me as possible.

MATT: He would if he didn't die from that hit.

SAM and ASHLEY: Oh!

LAURA and ASHLEY: Yes!

MATT: As you release the angry torrent of psychic energy into its mind, where you assume the mind is, and whisper into its essence, its eyes begin to bleed, and they're like, (gasps) begins to shake and then collapses to the ground before (explosion) bursting into a roaring flame. I need both Chetney and Orym--

LAURA: Sorry, sorry.

MATT: -- to make dexterity saving throws, please.

MARISHA: It's going to happen.

ASHLEY: It's going to happen.

LIAM: 10.

MATT: Seven points of fire damage to you.

TRAVIS: 13.

MATT: Seven points of fire damage to you. Actually, no, no 12. You made it. So that's only three points of fire damage. Sorry.

TRAVIS: 13 made it?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Great.

MATT: That one is gone, and did you roll for the other one?

LAURA: It says that it just take half damage.

MATT: Correct, but were you rolling just one damage for each?

LAURA: Oh, well, I guess I'm going to reroll.

MATT: Because it technically two different spells.

LAURA: Oh, that's true! So that would be seven, 10. So five points.

MATT: Okay, five points.

TRAVIS: Nice.

MATT: Got it.

TRAVIS: Pick them up!

MATT: All righty, you want to move anywhere or are you going to stay put where you are?

LAURA: I'll stay.

MATT: Okay, that finishes your--

LAURA: Eh, I'll back up a little bit, if I have any more movement.

MATT: You do. You have about that much movement. Okay, so it is now the shade creepers' turns.

MARISHA: No.

MATT: This one here is going to stay in melee, is going to go up that way. This one's going to rush up to flank you, Orym.

LIAM: Damn it, Bobby.

MATT: This one's going to rush up into this space here.

MARISHA: Wow.

MATT: It leaps over the box and then screeches as it leaps and gathers, and this one here--

LIAM: (growls)

MATT: -- is going to run along the wall and then leap down to get to Imogen. This one's going to run across and come after Fresh Cut Grass.

SAM: (tiny yelp)

MATT: A few more are going to double move from back that weren't in the Fireball. That's going to get them.

LAURA: Oh shit, I should have just done what I was going to do.

MATT: Going to rush up to Gus and to you.

SAM: Maybe we shouldn't fight. Maybe we should just keep moving?

MATT: This guy's going to be right there clogging up the space a bit.

MARISHA: It's not a bad idea actually to move forward while we fight. That's not a bad idea.

MATT: You do see one more in the back here.

SAM: Oh no!

MATT: That's about what you can make out.

MARISHA: It's in a pincher point.

MATT: Okay, with that, we have a number of attacks here. Two with advantage against you, Orym.

LIAM: Dang it.

MATT: That's going to be a... 20 to hit.

LIAM: Hits!

MATT: And the other one--

MARISHA: 20 to hit. What the fuck. I roll fucking balls.

MATT: -- that's going to be 16.

LIAM: Miss!

MATT: All right.

LAURA: I'm so mad for you.

MARISHA: I've sucked it up in battle for the last several, three battles at least.

ASHLEY: You're going to be a beast soon.

MARISHA: Something's got to give, right?

ASHLEY: Yeah, some will give.

LIAM: You're pretty terrifying.

MATT: Five points of piercing damage.

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: It's like Jester. Any time I tried to do damage--

MATT: Plus seven points of necrotic to you.

LIAM: Oh, mm-hmm, okay.

TALIESIN: Oh!

SAM: Can I absorb half of that damage?

MATT: If you'd like to, yeah.

SAM: I will take half of that damage. (laughter)

LIAM: He takes three, and I take four?

MATT: Yes.

SAM: Wait, can I just take half of all of it, or do I have to take half of one?

MATT: It's all one strike. So all the damage from that attack--

SAM: So it's 12 minus six.

MATT: Yeah, so it'll be six each.

LIAM: So six back, okay.

MATT: Correct, so you take six temporary hit points, whatever your maximum is in that. The other attack against you with advantage, or I already did that one. That one missed. That would be the third one that's against you, which does not have advantage, I need to roll again for that. That is going to be 15--

LIAM: Miss.

MATT: -- which misses, and there's now two against you, Chetney.

LIAM: Parry, parry, shield.

MATT: Actually, just one against you.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: That'll be a 21 to hit.

TRAVIS: It hits.

MATT: It actually rolled really high. You take... five points of piercing.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: And then... eight points of necrotic.

TRAVIS: Copy that.

MATT: They're just tearing in you with the claws.

TRAVIS: Big hits.

MATT: You feel this, these creatures, they die quick, but they can deal some damage rapidly.

TRAVIS: They hurt.

MATT: The claws pierce into your body, and there is this necrotic energy that then pulses into the wound that causes it to tear itself even wider with each impact, and you remember the pain that strikes you each time one of these gets claws into you. Now there's one against you, Fresh Cut Grass. That's going to be an 11.

SAM: Miss.

MATT: That rolled really bad. One against you, Laudna.

LAURA: I'm Imogen.

MATT: Sorry, Imogen.

LAURA: It's fine.

MATT: You understand. (laughter)

LAURA: Witches be bitches.

MATT: 23.

LAURA: You can hit me.

MARISHA: I'm glad you think I'm that pretty.

TRAVIS: These witches be bitches.

MATT: 23, I think, hits. You take five points of piercing damage.

SAM: You're the one with the pink hair, right?

MARISHA: (laughs) Sure.

MATT: And, good roll, two points of necrotic.

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: Those all rushed in there using their movement and actions. They don't actually get any activations on Gus or you, Ashton. That finishes their go. That now brings us to Fearne.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: You're up.

ASHLEY: Did Olly go yet, or is she--

MATT: Olly's at the bottom.

ASHLEY: She's dead last, okay.

TALIESIN: Actually, quick question, is the one that's in contact with Imogen within 15 feet of me?

MATT: It would be, yes.

TALIESIN: So I would like it to make a constitution saving throw.

MATT: Okay. It rolled, that's a 17.

TALIESIN: Fuck, never mind.

MATT: Sorry, rolled really well.

TALIESIN: Yeah, yeah.

MATT: Good looking out.

ASHLEY: Okay, so I am going to put my hands together.

MARISHA: Come on, Fearne.

LAURA: Yes, yes.

ASHLEY: Pull a line.

SAM: Oh yeah! Uh-huh, uh-huh.

TRAVIS: Oh.

ASHLEY: Just trying to copy what Gus did.

SAM: Sure.

ASHLEY: Then I'm going to shoot three Scorching Rays. (laughter) A little different.

MATT: Hell yeah.

ASHLEY: Just, I can't quite see behind. So whatever's close, the one up in front of Imogen, the one in front of any of my people.

MATT: Okay, there's one in front of Imogen and then there's three over here. So you can do one in front of Imogen, one in front of Gus, and one in front of Ashton.

ASHLEY: Great, let's do it.

MATT: Okay, so go ahead and roll for the one in front of Imogen.

ASHLEY: Well, there's one next to Orym. There's a bunch next to Orym.

MATT: There's a bunch over here, yeah.

ASHLEY: Okay, let me do one--

LIAM: (German accent) Wolfy, you and I are alone over there.

TRAVIS: (German accent) Yes, we are. It's quite dire.

ASHLEY: I feel like Ashton and them are super strong.

TRAVIS: Do you have the magics? Because I don't.

ASHLEY: I'm going to do the one in front of Imogen.

LIAM: No, just the accent.

ASHLEY: And then two down that way.

MATT: There's Fresh Cut Grass and the one over here by Orym?

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: You got it, okay. So roll for this one, adding your spell attack modifier.

ASHLEY: Oh wow. Okay, 17 is the first.

MATT: That hits.

ASHLEY: I roll for all three, right?

MATT: Correct, roll for all three hits and then we'll roll damage from there.

ASHLEY: 18?

MATT: Hits and then...

ASHLEY: 13?

MATT: 13 just misses, but the first two do damage.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: That's 2d6 to each, correct?

ASHLEY: Yes. Okay, five for the first hit.

MATT: Five for the first hit, all right.

ASHLEY: Four for the second one!

SAM: Yes!

LAURA: Yay.

ASHLEY: Yay.

SAM: Mega damage.

MATT: All right.

ASHLEY: And then for my bonus action--

SAM: (like Fearne) For my bonus action.

ASHLEY: -- which is actually: Hey, Mister, psst.

LAURA: Oh, yeah!

ASHLEY: I'm going to have him throw a flaming seed of poo--

MATT: (flames and screeching)

ASHLEY: -- in front of the one, Imogen, because he's closest.

MATT: Okay, you got it.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: The New Housewives of the Feywild. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Shit! I rolled a two. (groaning)

ASHLEY: Nine, damn it.

MATT: Nine points of damage to him?

ASHLEY: No, I rolled a nine for attack. The attack didn't go--

MATT: Oh, nine total, that misses, yeah.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: Balls.

MATT: Sorry.

ASHLEY: Sorry.

SAM: Poop.

MARISHA: Tits.

LAURA: Good try, Mister.

MATT: Good try.

ASHLEY: Good try, Mister, it's okay.

MATT: (splats) On the wall, the stone, just a little burning pile of poop.

MARISHA: Laudna and Mister just make eye contact and we're like--

ASHLEY: I feel you.

SAM: There's a bullseye! (laughter)

MATT: All right, does that finish your turn?

ASHLEY: I'm going to stay where I am, yeah. That's my turn.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: I added a bullseye.

LAURA: I did, you did it right behind the creature.

SAM: You did, you did. But it was like an invisible spell.

LAURA: Yeah, that's true.

MATT: All right, it's now Olly's turn.

MARISHA: Come on!

MATT: Olly hears this all happening. She's like. (exhales)

MARISHA: Come on, bish.

MATT: Reaches in and pulls out--

SAM: Throw some dust or something make it look like.

ASHLEY: Wait, shit, aren't we trying to take one of these alive?

LAURA: No, no, no, no.

MARISHA: No, no, no. We need Emoth.

ASHLEY: Never mind.

LAURA: Destroy them.

ASHLEY: That's right.

MATT: Olly reaches into the cloak and pulls out two long metal rods like batons. (whooshes) Is going to go ahead and dart this way.

MARISHA: What?

LAURA: I love them, I love them so much.

SAM: What if Olly just starts doing like color guard stuff? (laughter)

MARISHA: Oh, badass shit.

MATT: She's going to go ahead and whack, with an unnatural speed, dodges pass and does one heavy crack to the one that's in front of you.

MARISHA: Cool.

MATT: Crack, from behind. That is going to be, yeah. It's going to be 18 to hit. Yeah, no, that'll do it.

SAM: Nice.

MATT: That one explodes and ignites. Make it dexterity saving throw for me, Laudna.

SAM: Oh no. Olly forgot.

LAURA: 21.

MATT: 21, that's a success. You take no, or you take half damage. You take-- No, you take no damage. Olly does take two. So it explodes and she's like, "Right, right, forgot." Then spins around to strike the one that's to the right. That's a natural 20.

LAURA: Ooh.

ASHLEY: Woo!

MATT: That'll be, ooh.

ASHLEY: It's time for a Werther's.

LAURA: I want that.

MATT: 17 points of damage to this one.

MATT: (explodes) That one explodes.

SAM: Oh boy.

MATT: "Sorry!" Don't have much other option. Her and Gus both failed their sa-- or actually, no, Gus makes his. She takes another six points of fire damage.

MARISHA: Cramping a little? Yep, stretch it out. Yep.

MATT: She's going to move into here.

MARISHA: It happens.

MATT: Then is going to strike with an offhand dual-wielding strike with the third hit. That'll hit for--

SAM: Calisthenics.

MATT: Okay, not too great. Eight points of damage to that one.

TALIESIN: Mm.

MATT: Okay, so with that, Olly's like (pants) "All right, we're cleaning the way a little bit." That's going to finish the go. At the top, Orym, you're up, with Ashton on deck.

LIAM: Okay, I see that target floating over this creeper with the tail on the map. So I'm going to slash up through the creature at the target and see if I can hit it.

MATT: Go for it.

LIAM: That is an 18 plus, that's 26.

MATT: It definitely hits.

LIAM: And a 14 for the second. For a slash-slash. (humming)

MARISHA: Charley horse?

LIAM: Two, so seven for the first. Does a 14 hit?

MATT: Yes, 14 just hits.

LIAM: Okay, 14, yeah. Eight, seven and eight, 15 total.

MATT: (explodes)

SAM: Nice.

MATT: Falls backward and (rumbles) ignites in dark flame around it. I need you to make a dexterity saving throw.

LIAM: Okay. I rolled a two, so that's a fail.

MATT: Two points of fire damage to you, not too bad.

LIAM: Okay, I can do more, but I'mma conserve. That's going to be the end of my turn.

MATT: You got it. Finishing your go. Ashton, you're up.

LIAM: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Is a shove or toss action available if I want to grab one of these things and throw them a couple squares away or one square away?

MATT: If you succeed, I'll allow it, sure. They're small enough.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I want to grab the one right in front of me and just toss it to the right.

MATT: Okay, so you're making a grapple and a throw?

TALIESIN: Yeah. Just, yeah, grab and toss.

MATT: Make an athletics check.

TALIESIN: Athletics check.

TALIESIN: Why do I roll ones I can't read? 18, 19, 20, 27.

MATT: A three. (laughs) Like, with one hand, you just go (whooshes) and chuck it off. You said you want to throw it this way?

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: Now I'm going to run straight into it and just take the brunt of the hammer and just try and get it right through.

MATT: The one you just threw?

TALIESIN: The one I just threw.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: Okay, you rush over.

LIAM: Drag-ah.

TALIESIN: Reckless, yeah.

MATT: (whooshes) Reckless, go for it.

TALIESIN: 18 plus a huge number.

MATT: That definitely hits, go ahead and roll damage.

ASHLEY: "18 plus--"

TRAVIS: "A lot."

TALIESIN: Come on.

MARISHA: So jealous.

LAURA: Oh no.

SAM: Aw!

TALIESIN: 17 points of damage.

MARISHA: Really, I want--

MATT: You rush and splatter it against the stone wall. As it impacts, there's a flash. (whooshes) Make a dexterity saving throw.

LAURA: Take it from Travis.

MARISHA: No, Jester, no. (laughter)

TRAVIS: There's more of them.

TALIESIN: 15, 16 actually, no. Is that a 15? That is a 15. It's just hard to read. 15, 18.

MATT: 18, no points of fire damage, you're good.

TALIESIN: I'm going to turn--

MATT: The hammer takes the brunt of it as you're holding it at bay and then turn around.

TALIESIN: Yeah, as I spin, my after image beats me to it as I turn: Don't group up around them, for fuck's sakes. I'm going to run in a little bit of the ways to try and start to get to that one, to just get between--

MATT: Over here, you mean?

TALIESIN: Yeah, if I can.

MATT: Yeah, you have enough movement to get right back into there to the movement.

TALIESIN: I have like 40 feet of movement, so.

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: So if there's a way to get a little further--

MATT: Around this way?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: You can get there, if you want to.

TALIESIN: 10 more feet, if possible.

MATT: Further in here?

TALIESIN: Yeah, like there.

MATT: Okay, yeah. It will get an attack of opportunity.

TALIESIN: Sure, take it.

MATT: As soon as you rush by, with advantage because you did go reckless.

TALIESIN: Take it.

SAM: Ooh.

MATT: That is going to be 12.

TALIESIN: Nope.

MATT: Yeah, rolled really poorly.

SAM: Nice.

TRAVIS: Beautiful.

MATT: Strikes out towards you. It looks like it hits you but you realize it's the delayed image of where you were and then it catches up to you.

LAURA: That's so cool.

TALIESIN: Yep, yep, yep.

MATT: All righty.

TALIESIN: Goodbye to your reaction.

MATT: Indeed. Finishing your go?

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: All righty.

LAURA: Thank you.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

SAM: Shit.

TALIESIN: Fuck.

SAM: Oh, more of them!

TALIESIN: Yep.

TRAVIS: (groans)

MATT: Another one of the large, creepy, extended ones with splits in its body and the long claws drops from the ceiling from around the corner, and is going to go after you, Ashton, with advantage because of reckless, so.

SAM: There's just too many of them.

MATT: It's going to go ahead and make one claw attack against you. Man, they're rolling real bad. That is going to be 11 to hit. So it goes towards you. Once again, you dodge out of the way. You were always off the side. It wasn't able to place where your location was and as its reaction, its two hanging jaws, curl and then unleash a glob towards you. Make a dexterity saving throw.

MARISHA: Still the same?

TRAVIS: No, it's a--

MATT: Different one.

MARISHA: It's a second one?

TRAVIS: Yeah, he went over on Ashton's side.

LAURA: Yeah, he's got--

TALIESIN: Oh yeah. 20.

MATT: (splats) Hits the wall behind you. Once again, you just keep, it's like you're teleporting, but inches in your space, just out of the way of where the enemy's attacking.

TRAVIS: Uh-huh.

MATT: No, no effect on you. All right, that finishes--

TALIESIN: Fucker.

MATT: -- its go. Chetney, you're up, with Laudna on deck.

TRAVIS: Am I in melee with this and this one?

MATT: Yes, you are.

TRAVIS: Okay, I'll take my first swing at the one on my left.

MATT: You got it, with the--

TRAVIS: That's cocked.

MATT: Chisel out.

TRAVIS: That's, oh, not great.

MARISHA: It's going to be enough.

TRAVIS: That's 12.

LIAM: Big one is gone?

MATT: 12 points of damage?

TRAVIS: No, 12 to hit.

MATT: 12 to hit, that does not hit.

TRAVIS: Yes.

TRAVIS: I'll take the second one at the same guy.

MATT: You got it.

TRAVIS: That sucked balls. That's a natural one.

MARISHA: No!

ASHLEY: No!

MARISHA: The curse is moving down the line.

TRAVIS: Boy, we're all surrounded, too. That's a humdinger of a son of a bitch.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: That's going to be my... turn.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: That's all I got, can't move.

MATT: All right, finishing your go. That brings us to Laudna, with F.C.G. on deck.

MARISHA: You see Laudna, she just rolls around the rusty cage like the creepiest Disney princess, trying to find herself. She just rolls around it. Then she looks at Pâté, and she's like: I just, I don't know, Pate. I feel like I haven't been very useful, but maybe you. Then she starts to puppet Pâté. Then Pâté goes, "Eldritch Blast." (laughter)

MARISHA: Maybe he can fucking do it!

MATT: So does she go back around the cage to get visual?

MARISHA: Yes, she does.

LIAM: ♪ Do you want to kill a creeper? ♪ (laughter)

MARISHA: Okay, I want to hit the ones that are low.

MATT: Okay. There's one here, and then there's one attacking F.C.G. right there, and there's a bunch clustered around Orym and Chetney over there.

MARISHA: I'll for sure hit the F.C.G. one.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: And then I'll try and hit this other one that's advancing.

MATT: Okay, right over there?

MARISHA: Ha ha, yes. You got to be fucking fucking me.

LAURA: No, no, no.

ASHLEY: No, no, no, no.

MARISHA: Okay, one's a nine, which puts me at 16.

MATT: That hits.

ASHLEY: Yes!

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: The F.C.G. one does hit.

LAURA: Good job, Pâté.

MARISHA: The other's a five, which I don't think hits.

MATT: Goes wide, hits the stone, no effect. But the one at F.C.G., you do roll damage for.

MARISHA: I'm just going to do that first.

SAM: (imitates Marisha)

MARISHA: I'm just going to see how it rolls first. That's eight, that was eight.

SAM: Yes, yes, yes.

MARISHA: That was enough? Okay. 11.

MATT: 11 points of damage. This one was previously torched by Fearne.

MARISHA: Uh-huh.

MATT: This one impacts and just does enough as you watch it (explodes) get a section of its chest blown away. It falls to the ground, its arms reaching out before burning violently.

ASHLEY: Good job, Pâté!

LAURA: You did it!

MARISHA: Then I just take--

TALIESIN: Way to go, Pâté.

MARISHA: Pâté and I--

MATT: Dexterity saving throw.

MARISHA: -- redirect him. I'm going to Quicken Spell and do this again because I want this to fucking work.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I'm going to hit-- I'm going to go for this one again and then get one of these that's clustered around Chetney and Orym.

MATT: 15. No damage to you. Okay.

MARISHA: Okay!

SAM: Whoa, jesus.

MARISHA: Sorry. That's an 18 and a 10. So 17 plus a lot. 17 plus-- A natural 18.

MATT: Yes, that definitely hits. That's to this one here?

MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay.

ASHLEY: There we go.

MARISHA: That one and then one of-- We'll do this one.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Damn it!

LAURA: Pâté is the key.

MARISHA: Pâté.

LIAM: God, Laudna--

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: -- wish you could be like Pâté.

MARISHA: So the first one is 10 damage to that one.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Then the next one. Goddamn it, fucking ballsacks. (laughter) Four. Four to that one.

MATT: This one did take it. That one explodes.

ASHLEY: Hey!

MARISHA: Rolled a one on the damage die over here.

MATT: Then four. You got it, okay.

TRAVIS: You missed that I did no damage on my turn.

MATT: I know. (laughs)

MATT: Okay, that's a saving throw for both Gus and Olly.

TALIESIN: Are you--

MATT: Natural 20. Ooh, no. Olly does take--

TRAVIS: I'm all right. I'm at a quarter.

MATT: A point of fire damage, not too bad. Okay.

SAM: A quarter? Oh, not a quarter of your total?

TRAVIS: No, a quarter, the number.

MATT: Does that finish your turn?

TRAVIS: You peen-hurse.

MARISHA: Yeah, do I still have enough movement to move up a little bit?

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Just a little, that's good, that's good.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Honestly, right there.

TALIESIN: Just a view.

MARISHA: Okay, yep.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: That's it.

MATT: All right, finishing your go. F.C.G., you're up.

SAM: All right, I'm going to activate my saw blade. (whirring)

TRAVIS: Let's go, Hannibal.

SAM: I'll charge the one that's menacing my friends.

MATT: Which one of these?

SAM: You know, I'll do the one to the right.

MATT: Right here?

SAM: That one hasn't been hurt yet, has it?

MATT: That one, hasn't-- No, he's taken a little bit of damage.

SAM: Oh, okay. I will scream to it. This is how the Green Sleeves do it! I'll attack or whatever we're called.

LIAM: Green start playing.

SAM: Sure. 11 plus something to hit--

TRAVIS: Green Seekers. (chuckles)

SAM: Yeah, that, Green Seekers. 15 to hit.

MATT: 15 hits, go ahead and roll damage.

SAM: Okay. Three points of damage plus the six temporary hit points I had from before.

TRAVIS: Yeah! Send it back.

LIAM: Zap.

MATT: (explodes)

TRAVIS: Boom!

ASHLEY: Yes!

MATT: That one as you buzzing and it's like (shrieks). It's like a horror film, as you just, tearing into it against the wall. Then the fire burns around. I need you and Chetney to make dexterity saving throws, please.

SAM: Okay. Natural one.

TRAVIS: Natural 20. (yelling)

MATT: No damage to you. Three points of fire damage to you, Fresh Cut Grass.

LIAM: Are you okay?

MARISHA: I don't know. (laughter)

SAM: Then as my bonus action, I'll take the target and I will bounce it and roll it towards the one next to Chet. I'll smash him with my--

MATT: This one here?

SAM: Oh wait. There's one right in front of it?

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: Oh, I'll just hit that guy.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: I roll. My god, I never remember how to do this. Jesus. Natural 20! (cheering)

MATT: Hell yeah. Roll that dice.

MARISHA: What is going on?

SAM: What a craziness. So that's a six plus three, I believe is nine.

MATT: You rolled a six.

SAM: Oh yes, so that's 12 plus three. 15.

ASHLEY: Woo!

MATT: (explodes) The target just entirely crushes it to the ground before it burns. Need both Orym and Chetney to make dexterity saving throws.

TRAVIS: Let's go, let's go, let's go.

LIAM: 20, dirty 20 for me.

MATT: You're good.

TRAVIS: 16.

MATT: You're good. Both of you manage to dodge out of the way as the fire bursts around, catches the edge of your thigh, but not enough to actually hurt you.

SAM: I'll use any--

MARISHA: Shit!

SAM: Any additional movement to just keep running forward.

MATT: Yeah, you can do that.

SAM: Or rolling forward.

MATT: So to here.

SAM: I'll also move the bullseye with me forward.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Okay. Anything back there? Anything seen where I am right now?

MATT: Glancing over there, you do see.

MATT: Another of the--

LAURA: The bigguns?

MATT: The larger ones is like (purring growl) around the corner and it makes eye contact with you. One of the eyes seems to (wet sound) shift in your direction.

LAURA: Ugh.

MATT: The other one seems to split into two separate eyes--

SAM: Ew!

MATT: Before (squelches).

LAURA: What the fuck?

MATT: Looking towards you.

TALIESIN: That's very convenient.

LIAM: That's wrong.

SAM: But it doesn't look like the--

TRAVIS: "That's wrong."

SAM: It doesn't look like the one we've seen before, right? It's not Lady Emoth or anything?

MATT: It is not.

SAM: Okay.

MARISHA: Wait, is the black ball yours?

MATT: All right, that finishes--

SAM: Yeah.

LIAM: That's the target.

SAM: That's the target.

MATT: Yep.

MARISHA: Have any of us used it correctly?

SAM: I've used it to kill people.

MARISHA: But we have not?

SAM: No one has--

LIAM: I did.

SAM: Oh, you did?

LIAM: Yes. I aimed at it and slashed through to hit it.

MATT: Indeed, it was great.

MARISHA: What do we do with it?

MATT: All right.

SAM: You just shoot at it.

MARISHA: We shoot it and then it hits something else?

SAM: It's my spiritual weapon.

MATT: It's now Gus' go. Gus sees that things are going pretty well. He's going to go ahead and--

LIAM: It's a little bit of flavor.

TALIESIN: It's a spiritual weapon shit post.

MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay.

MATT: Step forward a bit here.

MARISHA: Shit post. (laughter)

SAM: It's a meme.

MATT: (as Gus) "Hey. I got your back." Is going to go ahead and fling his arms in a wide arc. As he does, you see the fingertips glow orange, and then (whooshes) release a Fire Bolt towards the one that's right in front of you.

TALIESIN: Hey!

LIAM: Bolt.

MATT: Multiple Fire Bolts, actually. The first one misses

TRAVIS: Let's go.

LIAM: (like Caleb) A Fire Bolt.

MATT: Second one hits.

TALIESIN: Hey.

MARISHA: We're Jack Nicholson nodding.

MATT: So that's eight points of fire damage to that guy. Dropped my pencil.

MARISHA: Or like--

MATT: All righty.

MARISHA: -- the burly guys that are just like--

MATT: That finishes his go. Now we're to Fearne, with Olly on deck. Fearne.

ASHLEY: Imogen?

TRAVIS: Fearne.

MATT: Oh, no, I looked at the wrong thing. Sorry, Imogen, you're right up. Then it's the shade creepers, and then it's Fearne, and then it's Ollie.

LAURA: No, I was ready.

MATT: Good looking out.

LAURA: I was ready to go.

SAM: Come on, pink!

LAURA: Okay. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Pink lady.

LIAM: ♪ Is my favorite color ♪

LAURA: All right.

LAURA: I can sort of see what's happening back there. Tell you what, it seems like they just keep coming down the tunnels, doesn't it?

LIAM: I'll tell you what.

MARISHA: Mom?

LAURA: I'm going to-- (uncertain noise) (sighs) Are we trying to go further down the tunnels or are we trying to keep them from coming at us right now?

TRAVIS: I think we got to go further around, We don't see what we need yet.

MARISHA: I feel like we do, too. I'm not against it.

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Collapse the tunnels?

LAURA: Well, no, no, no, no. It would just delay us going down the tunnels a little bit, but it would keep them from coming at us. But it's fine.

TRAVIS: Do your thing, man.

MARISHA: Live your truth, yeah.

LIAM: Yep, have fun.

LAURA: All right.

MATT: What you going to do?

LAURA: I'm going to--

MARISHA: Not a bad idea.

LAURA: Bring my forearms together.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: Close my eyes.

TALIESIN: I know.

LAURA: Shift my focus down and then flash my eyes up and all my hair's going to flare out and my clothes are going to flow up a little bit and--

MARISHA: Yes.

LAURA: -- right here.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah.

LAURA: You're going to see a ball of storm explode in the tunnels.

ALL: Ooh!

MATT: (crackling)

ASHLEY: Oh, so cool.

MATT: All right, what are you casting?

TRAVIS: What?

LAURA: Seething Storm.

MATT: All righty.

MARISHA: Storm orb.

ASHLEY: She's the Storm Lord.

TALIESIN: Storm orb.

MARISHA: Storm Lord making a storm orb.

LAURA: 20-foot radius.

MATT: Oh yeah, that is big. So you look back--

LAURA: I want to get all of these things, anything coming up the tunnels right here.

MATT: Okay, you'd have to arrange yourself probably there to try and squeeze it through that tunnel ever so faintly.

LAURA: Skoonk.

MATT: Go ahead, and just for my own interest, roll d20 and add your spell attack modifier.

LAURA: All right.

LIAM: Certainly more powerful than the Storm Mi'lady.

MARISHA: Storm mi'lady.

TALIESIN: Yeah, there we go. Yep, knew it. Did I just fuck up--

LAURA: Did you roll a natural one?

SAM: Uh-huh.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: No.

MATT: So--

SAM: Gus dies.

MATT: Yeah, you kill them all. No. So this is the radius you're going with here, right? Looking back that way, I was going to roll to see what the range here and having to get it-- Well, no, it's not a point of explosion. It's the point you choose, right?

LAURA: Exactly, and it's 150 feet away--

MATT: You know what, then we're not going to worry about that. Like, Fireball, which is more of a little wiggly. We're fine, okay.

LAURA: Yeah, no, this one is less like that. It's an area of effect that happens over there.

MATT: Indeed, that's on me. All right, so roll damage on that one. What's the save on it?

LAURA: It is a dexterity save.

MATT: Dexterity.

LAURA: Anything starting a turn within that foot, it's lightning flashing around that area. It's like--

MARISHA: I love that.

LAURA: It's darkness, it's a storm It's a raging storm in that area. So anything starting the turn in that--

LIAM: Sweeping, you're bam, boom, bang.

LAURA: Oh shit, I really fucked this up. Lightning damage and then if they end their turn within that sphere.

MATT: Okay, so it doesn't do damage immediately, it just creates the storm.

LAURA: Exactly, if they start their turn, they take damage. If they end their turn, they take damage.

MATT: Okay, got it. So now that whole area is lit up with this crackling sound. The swirling of energy and small storm detonations and arcs of electricity. (crackles) Does that finish your turn, Laudna? Laudna. Fucking-- Imogen, I'm sorry.

LAURA: It's okay.

MATT: I know, I don't know why, my brain is melted today.

TALIESIN: We're all a little melty.

MARISHA: That's my best friend.

MATT: I'm very melty today, I'm so sorry.

TALIESIN: It's been a melty week.

MATT: Yeah, that's on me. All right, Imogen, are you done?

LAURA: For my--

TALIESIN: How long does that last?

LAURA: It lasts a minute.

TALIESIN: Yeah, okay, so that's cool.

LAURA: For my bonus action, is that big creature in the sphere?

MATT: It is.

LAURA: Okay, great. Okay, then I'm going to-- ooh, for my bonus action, I'm going to--

ASHLEY: Ooh.

LAURA: I don't know, I just want to do something with a bonus action.

TALIESIN: Man, I feel that.

LAURA: Oh, ooh, well, no. Never mind, fuck it, never mind. I got nothing.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: That was an amazing journey.

SAM: What a great journey.

LAURA: Sorry, I just keep remembering, I want to pull it-- never mind.

MATT: Okay. The shade creeper that starts in that radius. Go ahead and roll damage.

LIAM: Blow winds and--

TALIESIN: Oh!

LIAM: -- crack your cheeks.

MATT: That one fails.

LIAM: Rage!

LAURA: Seven points of lightning damage.

MATT: Seven points of lightning damage to him.

LIAM: (southern drawl) Lightning.

TALIESIN: Oh, also if he's starting his turn within 15 feet of me, it's a constitution save.

MATT: Oh, that's true. Fail.

TALIESIN: So yeah, its speed is halved and out a reaction until the beginning of his next turn.

MATT: You got it. It gets to be able to shift around into this space to get out of the storm zone. That's about as far as it can get. The one over there, two more rush in, but they get into the middle of the storm because they charge into it angrily.

TRAVIS: Come on in.

TRAVIS and TALIESIN: The water's fine.

LAURA: So those ones'll take 10 points of force damage.

MATT: Nice.

ASHLEY: What about the big boy on the--?

LIAM: It's just out of it.

LAURA: Yeah, no, there's another--

MATT: His turn is separate.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: His turn is coming.

MATT: They get there, there's one attacking you and then there's one attacking-- It's going to be Orym. So attacking you. Natural 20.

SAM: Ooh.

MARISHA: Oh, nice.

MATT: So that is--

TRAVIS: Oh boy.

MATT: Four points of piercing, reduced two.

TALIESIN: Reduced to two.

MATT: And--

TALIESIN: Really hurt me now.

MATT: 18 points of necrotic.

TALIESIN: Okay.

LIAM: (groans)

SAM: Against Ashton?

MATT: Yes.

SAM: Oh no!

LAURA: 18 points in the-- Oh, because it was--

TALIESIN: Nope, I take that 18.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: It's like rotting flesh.

LAURA: Oh fuck.

MATT: You're feeling confident. This one that dodges out of the storm is feral with pain and anger and when it rushes towards you, it manages to catch you right below the sternum. Its claw digs in and catches under the ribcage. It hurts so bad as it just holds on to you from the front. The one that's attacking you, Orym.

LIAM: Boy.

MATT: That's going to be a 19 to hit.

LIAM: It just hits, yeah.

MATT: Just hits.

LAURA: Also, the area within that storm is difficult terrain.

MATT: Yeah, that's why they only got that far.

LAURA: Oh, okay, cool.

TRAVIS: Nice.

TALIESIN: How did the one that was, oh, okay. It was the one that was right against me.

MATT: Yeah, it was--

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: It just shifted around, it moved--

TALIESIN: Its one-quarter speed, yeah, yeah.

MATT: It moved 15 feet. Correct, it was, the storm had been, but it was also in your radius.

TALIESIN: Which means it was down. Its speed had been halved before, while it was still in.

MATT: Mm. Fiddly stuff.

TALIESIN: Yeah, fiddly.

MATT: Take the damage off. It couldn't even get to you.

SAM: Oh!

LAURA: Also, all of the creatures within the storm are blinded.

TRAVIS: Is that right?

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Wow.

MATT: Okay, cool.

MATT: This is all good to know.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah.

TRAVIS: This is the first time. This is the first time, right?

LAURA: Yeah, this is the first time I've ever cast it, sorry.

MATT: It's all good, it's all good. First time that I've dealt with the battlefield, so.

TALIESIN: Yeah, okay.

LIAM: Come on, you witches.

MATT: All right, so in that space, yeah. That one is just, it's trying to get over there, but between the two of you, it has enough movement--

TALIESIN: In a storm and flashing in and out of, in a time loop.

MATT: Yeah, it gets--

TALIESIN: Not having a good time.

MATT: It gets about there, we'll say. It cannot quite get into melee of it. But it does end its turn in that radius, so.

LAURA: Oh, great. Do I roll separately for each one or is it, probably?

MATT: I mean, no, you'd roll one time for all the ones that start the damage that turn.

LAURA: Okay, so that would have been 10 points.

MATT: 10 points that you said?

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: More of that quickness.

MATT: So do they take it again if they stay in it or is it just--?

LAURA: Yeah, they take it at the beginning and at the end, if they stay in the--

SAM: Ooh.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: That's rough.

TALIESIN: Wow.

MATT: Then--

LAURA: So he would've taken seven points of lightning damage at the beginning of his turn, and 10 points of force damage at the end of his turn.

MATT: Gotcha, gotcha, okay, cool.

MARISHA: Fuck.

ASHLEY: That's amazing.

MATT: That kills him.

TRAVIS: -- get out, right? To try to--

ASHLEY: Oh!

MARISHA: Dead!

TALIESIN: Oh, now I take the damage.

MARISHA: Dead!

MATT: No, he's just far out of your radius. He couldn't get to you because of the dual movement reduction.

TALIESIN: Oh my god!

MATT: He couldn't get there.

TALIESIN: You did this, thank you.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: The one that's attacking you, however--

LIAM: Yeah?

MATT: That is six points of piercing damage.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: And 10 points necrotic.

LIAM: Oh dear, okay.

TALIESIN: Oh no.

LIAM: All right, Orym's looking a little--

TALIESIN: Oh yeah, you are.

LIAM: A little weathered.

MATT: That's going to finish its go. Now, Fearne, you're up.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LAURA: What about that one?

MATT: That one is the bigger one, which has a different--

LAURA: Oh, that's a whole separate--

TALIESIN: Big flag here.

LAURA: Big guy?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LAURA: Oh, you're right, he was bigger than the other ones.

ASHLEY: He was? That big boy?

MATT: The one that just came through over there.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Destroy him, you destroy him now.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LAURA: Biggun.

ASHLEY: I'm going to get down from where I'm at.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: And get a little closer. Oh shit, but if I kill that one, it's going to explode in front of you two.

SAM: It's okay, whatever. We got healers, we're fine.

ASHLEY: Okay, Scorching Ray again.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: It's the best motion.

MATT: On which ones?

ASHLEY: Okay, so definitely the one near Orym and Chetney.

MATT: Okay, that one there?

ASHLEY: Yeah, that one in front of Ashton.

MATT: And to that one?

ASHLEY: Let's do-- Has that one been hit over there?

MATT: That one has taken damage, yeah.

ASHLEY: Okay, well, I'll take the first hit to him.

MATT: Okay, go ahead and roll to hit.

ASHLEY: Okay. (hums) 22.

MATT: That hits, roll damage. 3d6.

ASHLEY: Roll my teeth.

MATT: Baby teeth.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: Teeny, baby teeth.

ASHLEY: Okay, that would be--

TALIESIN: Okay.

ASHLEY: 10 points of damage.

MATT: 10 points of damage. (explodes)

ASHLEY: Sorry, guys.

MATT: It screams and burns. I need both of you to roll dexterity saving throws again for me.

LIAM: Fail for me.

ASHLEY: Oh, fuck, sorry.

MATT: What'd you roll?

LIAM: Nine.

MATT: Five points of fire damage.

TRAVIS: 13.

MATT: No, you're good.

TRAVIS: Okay.

TALIESIN: Phew.

MATT: All righty.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: But you are now clear of any sort of immediate shade creepers around you. You're rolling two against the big one?

ASHLEY: Two against the big one.

MATT: Roll twice.

MARISHA: Come on, Fearnie Fearne.

ASHLEY: 18.

MATT: Hits.

ASHLEY: Okay. I don't know if that one hits.

ASHLEY: 13.

MATT: 13 misses, unfortunately.

LAURA: Little tiny teeth.

ASHLEY: Five points of damage.

MATT: Five points against that one. So the one ray destroys one. You fire two more rays off this side. One of them hits the wall and then dwindles before it impacts. The second one does strike the true (explodes) sending flames across its torso. (shrieks) All right. Does that finish your turn? Do you want to move?

ASHLEY: Okay, and now it's Mister's turn.

MATT: It is.

ASHLEY: So he'll peek around, he'll throw a flame seed at the one in front of Ashton.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Natural 18.

TRAVIS: Let's go.

TALIESIN: Nice.

LAURA: Mister, mister doing some damage.

ASHLEY: Mistah, mistah.

ASHLEY and LIAM: Meestah, meestah.

ASHLEY: Make sure-- Oh, it is 2d6, okay. (sighs)

LAURA: Pew, pew, pew.

LIAM: We had this buttoned up.

ASHLEY: Oh, four points of damage.

MATT: Four points of fire damage to that guy, okay.

MARISHA: I agree with him.

MATT: You got it.

MARISHA: I feel I like I need to move forward or something.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: All righty. That finishes your go, Fearne?

ASHLEY: Yeah, and then I'm going to start--

MATT: You can keep moving if you want.

ASHLEY: Yeah, the rest of my movement I'm going to start making my way.

ALL: ♪ Makin' my way ♪

MATT: This way?

ASHLEY: Yes. 35 is my movement.

MATT: 30, there you go, right there. Almost up to Fresh Cut Grass. Looking around the corner, you can see the storm still cracking from the other perspective and the one creature that's on the outskirts of it there.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: All right, that finishes your go?

ASHLEY: Yep.

MATT: Olly is up. Olly, seeing all this happening right there and the clusterfuck that is this hallway, puts the rods away and pulls a light crossbow out from the back of the cloak, which you didn't even know was hiding there from in the bustle area, if you will. Pulls it out. (whooshes) Fires it twice, reloading quickly and firing again at the one that's in front of you.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: First, ooh, yeah, there we go. That's a 26 to hit. Then... not as great. 12 to hit, which misses. All right, but one hit does get there for six, 11, 12 points of damage to that creature.

TRAVIS: Nice. Can we see into that cloud? It doesn't blind us, just if you're in it, right?

LAURA: It's lightly obscured.

MATT: Yeah. It's a crackling, fog-type energy. So one of them goes wide, one does strike the creature right in the center of its chest-neck area. It seems to open up a pocket of skin. It's looking hurt, it's looking really hurt. Before that, Olly goes, "All right, finish that one for me!" And is going to get to about there.

ASHLEY: Can Mister actually come next to me a little bit? Sorry, I forgot.

MATT: What's his movement, 30 feet flying, right?

ASHLEY: Yeah, I think so, let me just--

TALIESIN: That's a fast monkey.

LAURA: Little flying beebee.

SAM: That funky monkey.

MATT: There's like-- (crackling)

TRAVIS and MARISHA: Fast monkey. (laugh)

MATT: ♪ That funky monkey ♪ All right. That finishes Olly's go. Orym, you're up, with Ashton on deck.

LIAM: I'm going to make this real quick and easy. I can see that Imogen has got this handled. So I'm actually going to back up towards Imogen as far as I can go.

MATT: All right.

LIAM: That's it. That's all I can do. That's all I'm going to do.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Done, next.

MATT: You got it. Ashton.

TALIESIN: How rough is this thing looking?

MATT: Looking pretty rough.

TALIESIN: And I believe I hit this thing with my-- I believe it hit my con modifier and is it affected by my time distortion?

MATT: No, that one hasn't come up yet. That was the one that died.

TALIESIN: Okay, so this one hasn't been hit by the time distortion.

MATT: Not yet.

TALIESIN: Okay. That slightly changes what I'm going to do, then. I'm going to make an attack.

MATT: Do it!

TALIESIN: Since I'm here. I'm going to try and nail it where it's cracking open.

LIAM: Can we hit it and quit it?

TALIESIN: 16 to hit?

MATT: 16 hits.

MARISHA: Ask Gus.

TALIESIN: That's... 17 points of damage.

TRAVIS: Apparently, it's not a problem.

LAURA: It's messy.

MATT: It splatters against the side of the wall with a shriek before igniting in dark fire. Make a dexterity saving throw for me.

TALIESIN: I duck as it comes at me.

MATT: The heat from the large ones is even more intense.

TALIESIN: Ooh! 21.

MATT: You're fine, though, you duck out of the way into the side of the rock and it burns past. Singes your shoulder and that's about it.

TALIESIN: Gross! I'm clearing. I'm going roll around-- I'm going to take 40 steps into the next hallway.

MATT: That will put you about there.

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: All righty. Finishing your go. It is now the larger creature on that side's turn. It takes what damage at the top of the round from you?

LAURA: 2d6 lightning damage! Eight.

TRAVIS: Nice!

MATT: Eight points of lightning damage in the storm, (shrieks) goes rushing out--

TALIESIN: Half speed.

MATT: -- of this, half speed. 15. So that's 30 to get there. That's as far as it can get there. It's going to dash to get up to F.C.G. That fucked up its turn. So it rushes towards you with unnatural speed up into your face. (shrieks)

TALIESIN: Is that a big one or a normal one?

MATT: That's a big one.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: That's all it can do on its turn because of that storm.

LIAM: Boil boil, toil and trouble.

MATT: Good job.

ASHLEY: Clutch.

MATT: All right, Chetney. You're up, with Laudna on deck.

TRAVIS: I'll rush up to help F.C.G.

MATT: All right, are you going around the left side or jumping up onto the boxes?

TRAVIS: Let's go around the left side. All 25 feet.

MATT: There you go.

SAM: Wooden boxes, made of wood!

TRAVIS: Yeah, you got to protect the wood when you can!

MARISHA: (like Chetney) Ooh! Birch.

TRAVIS: I've got my Crimson Rite up. Can I try a Blood Maledict?

MATT: If you want to.

TALIESIN: Hey!

TRAVIS: Yeah, let's try it.

TALIESIN: That's a phrase I haven't heard in a long time.

TRAVIS: So I take 1d6 points of damage.

LAURA: (elderly voice) I remember when I could do a Blood Maledict!

TRAVIS: Three.

TALIESIN: Critical Role Campaign 2 remembers.

MATT: What Blood Maledict are you doing?

TRAVIS: I'm going to do the-- Where the fuck did it go? Blood Curse of the Marked.

MATT: Okay, and you amplified it?

TRAVIS: No. How do I amplify? Do I do another 1d6 if I want to?

MATT: Okay, you don't take any damage to use the Maledict at all.

TRAVIS: Right-- oh, okay.

MATT: But if you want--

TRAVIS: Then I want to amplify it.

MATT: If you want to amplify, then you do take the additional roll damage, which was three on there.

TRAVIS: Yep.

MATT: Now all attacks against it you double your Rite damage.

TRAVIS: Have advantage.

MATT: Yeah, and advantage.

TRAVIS: Okay, so I'll take the first of my two strikes against it.

MATT: Do it.

TRAVIS: 14, plus I think it's seven. So that's 21.

MATT: That hits.

TRAVIS: Nice!

LIAM: (like Chetney) Christmas has come early.

TRAVIS: Four plus six, ten. 12. 18, 18 points of slashing damage.

MATT: Nice.

TRAVIS: Second one. Two natural 20s!

MARISHA: Oh my god! Oh my god!

MATT: Take a fucking picture of that!

MARISHA: Amazing! Take a fucking picture!

SAM: He rolled a natural 40!

LAURA: What the shit?

TRAVIS: We back up in this bitch.

MATT: That's some Search For Grog shit right there, man.

TRAVIS: That's crazy, okay. Okay, so four plus six is ten.

LIAM: Oh man, the pom-poms on his winter cap are just blowing.

TRAVIS: Well, so four--

SAM: Doubled, eight.

TRAVIS: Doubled is eight plus six. So that's 12. Then--

MATT: No, it's 14.

TRAVIS: 14, sorry. Then-- aw, one.

MARISHA: Bullshit!

TRAVIS: 15, and four is 19.

MATT: 19.

MARISHA: Yes.

LAURA: Do you double all the dice or just the initial dice? Because you rolled a 20.

TRAVIS: I think I just do the initial strike and not the extra Maledict dice.

MATT: If you crit, the extra dice doubles as well. All dice is doubled.

TRAVIS: So it was five, so ten, so it'd be 24. So add five more points.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: I mean, yeah. How do you want to do this? (cheering)

TRAVIS: I'll run up and say: You leave F.C.G. alone. I find the mandible mouth and I take the wood chisel and I reverse grip it and I stick it in its lower jaw and I go: Come with me, bitch! I run down his neck through his belly, and I let the gore come over me!

MATT: As you charge it, it can't make the sound that it normally does to react in pain because you have removed its ability to make sound. So this silent spill as the creature collapses to the ground and as its body falls, each part ignites as it impacts beneath. Even the gore that splatters on your hammer as you pull beneath begins to burn and sizzle. I need both you and F.C.G. to make dexterity saving throws.

ASHLEY: Two natural 20s! That is so cool.

SAM: 13 for me.

TRAVIS: 17 plus five, 22.

MATT: You're both fine.

SAM: Oh boy!

MATT: No issue.

MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

SAM: Wow.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah!

SAM: Brutal!

TRAVIS: Yeah, in my element again! (excited noise) (laughing)

MATT: All righty. Does that finish your turn?

TRAVIS: It does, thank you.

MATT: All right, Laudna, you're up.

MARISHA: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Who's left on the field?

MATT: There are two creatures up that way that are obscured in the storm, but you don't really have visual on them right now.

MARISHA: Can I see through the storm?

MATT: You can see through the storm, but where you're standing, there's no visual on them.

MARISHA: Totally.

MATT: Unfortunately, there's rock, stone blocking your path here. Downside to staying this far back is--

MARISHA: Yeah, no, no, no.

MATT: -- you're blocked.

MARISHA: I'll move up towards Ashton. 30 feet.

LAURA: What is this?

MARISHA: This is--

SAM: This is a new stance!

LAURA: A new level of perch.

TRAVIS: Feet in the chair.

LIAM: The position has evolved!

TRAVIS: Knees on the desk, no idea if she's in frame or not.

TALIESIN: Eventually she's going to perch on the microphone stand.

MATT: Yeah, yeah.

LIAM: She's lunging for a strike.

MARISHA: I still can't see anything, right?

MATT: From where you're standing, you can barely see one of them and he would be considered heavily obscured.

MARISHA: I do have Spell Sniper.

MATT: Or three quarters cover, let's say.

MARISHA: I have Spell Sniper.

MATT: Okay, so you would ignore that. So yeah, you can make the attack, if you want to.

MARISHA: Yeah, sure! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ray of Frost.

MATT: Okay, go for it.

MARISHA: Let's see what happens.

SAM: ♪ Quicker than a ray! ♪

TRAVIS and LAURA: ♪ Quicker than a Ray of Frost ♪

MARISHA: That's good, we're doing Madonna again?

MATT: Yes, we are.

SAM: Same album.

MARISHA: Yes! We listened to it again, it's real good. 24!

MATT: That hits, roll damage on that guy.

MARISHA: 2d8 and he cannot move. Ew.

SAM: What is that? That's not even--

MARISHA: It's a white hair. That is no one's hair.

SAM: No one has that color hair!

MARISHA: I don't know whose hair that was.

TALIESIN: Mine from two years ago.

MARISHA: Eight. Okay, that's 11 damage.

MATT: 11 damage to that guy, all righty.

MARISHA: And his movement is reduced by 10 feet.

SAM: Nice, nice, nice.

MATT: All righty.

LAURA: Already?

MARISHA: You know what? (hums) Yeah, you never know. (hums) No, no, no, no, I'm going to keep it.

LAURA: Don't waste it.

MARISHA: I'm not going to waste it. I'm not going to waste it.

LAURA: Because they'll take damage on the beginning of their turn anyway.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it.

LIAM: This is essentially an appetizer.

MATT: All righty.

TALIESIN: This feels like an appetizer.

MARISHA: I agree. I agree.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: That finishes Laudna's go. F.C.G., you're up.

SAM: Oh man, I don't want to go into that storm.

MATT: You don't have to.

TALIESIN: You don't, yeah.

SAM: Well, I will move my Spiritual Weapon in there and bash one of the fellows right on his keister.

TALIESIN: That's a great idea.

MATT: The one that she just hit or the one--

SAM: Sure, the one that she just hit. 18 plus something. Hits for sure.

MATT: That hits.

LIAM: Straw target flies in on the storm.

SAM: Two plus three, five points of damage! Oh wow!

MATT: He explodes within the storm. Burns into nothing, surrounded by purplish lavender energy, crackling in the space.

SAM: Purplish lavender energy.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

SAM: Cool.

TALIESIN: As it should be.

SAM: Well, here's where I--

LAURA: Swirling winds of pain!

SAM: Whoa!

MARISHA: So pretty.

SAM: Oh man.

LAURA: It's kind of beautiful.

MARISHA: Like froyo.

SAM: I guess I'll move closer to the edge of the storm. Take me to the edge of the storm.

TALIESIN: ♪ Take me to the edge of the storm! ♪

SAM: But not in it, because that'll hurt me, right?

LAURA: Yeah, and I placed it so we wouldn't have to go into it.

SAM: Sure, sure, sure, sure.

LAURA: Like, why?

SAM: That little door will open up again and shoot out another flame. He has to make a dex 14 save.

MATT: That is a failure, with a 12.

SAM: Then he takes.

LIAM: Poof!

SAM: Nine points of flame damage.

MATT: Nine points of flame damage. (explodes) (groans) You can see now, it's starting to turn around like it's about to go run back down the hall where it came from. It's looking really hurt.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: Does that finish your turn?

SAM: That's all I can do.

MATT: All righty. Gus is going to go ahead and say, "Ah, nope!" Turn around this way. He's going to do a dash and come around to this point and that's about where he stands there. Using his full turn. "(pants) Well, damn." That's going to finish his go. That brings us to Imogen.

LAURA: I think I'm just going to hold it.

MATT: Okay. Just concentrate.

LAURA: Yeah, I just want them to take damage as soon as they.

MATT: Okay. That finishes your go? Or do you want to move at all, or--?

LAURA: I guess, yeah, I don't need to keep eyes on it. So yeah, I'll walk around the other side.

MATT: You get right there with the rest of the witch squad.

LAURA: I guess I can use my dash since I'm not using another action.

MATT: That's true, if you want to.

LAURA: Move up.

MATT: If ya want to.

SAM: D'ya want to?

MATT: All righty. Now it's the shade creeper's turn. Go ahead and roll damage for its opening turn for starting in the storm.

LIAM: Sorry, my friend.

LAURA: Six points of lightning damage.

MATT: That'll do it.

SAM: Ooh.

ASHLEY: Woo!

MATT: (explodes) It burns in the storm. There currently resides no visual threat within the immediate tunnel.

MARISHA: Cool.

MATT: What you do hear is the sound of maybe a few scurrying feet. Getting quieter and quieter as in--

LAURA: Oh, scared them away. Uh-oh.

MATT: Yep, there are some that were approaching that have decided otherwise.

LAURA: Okay. That's goodish.

LIAM: Drums in the deep.

MATT: What do you do?

SAM: Maybe we should drop the--

LAURA: I think Orym's hurting a bit right now.

SAM: I can take care of that.

TALIESIN: Let's hold it up for a second.

LAURA: Yeah, just in case they change their minds. Let's leave it up for the minute that it lasts.

MARISHA: Chetney, are you feeling alright?

TALIESIN: Anybody who needs to take a second should probably take a second.

TRAVIS: I need a little help.

TALIESIN: You don't look too good.

LIAM: Well, what's a second?

TALIESIN: A second is however long it takes to make sure you're fine.

MARISHA: I help up Chetney.

LIAM: Was anything on purpose?

TALIESIN: Who's hurt?

SAM: Well, are we short resting or am I just healing folks up?

LAURA: We'd have to be here for an hour.

MARISHA: Yeah, I don't think we have time.

LAURA: If we stay here for an hour, I think those things are going to come back.

TALIESIN: If there's something you can do pretty quick, not necessarily--

TRAVIS: If there's a little gimme, a little nudge, a little juice? F.C.G., help me out. Give me that sweet sweet.

LAURA: Come on, cleric. Do your job, cleric!

SAM: I'm trying to figure out which spell to use!

LAURA: Just heal the party, cleric!

TRAVIS: Peach cobblers!

SAM: There's two of them, so I'm going to use--

LIAM: (southern accent) Oh, I'm the cleric?

MARISHA: (laughs)

SAM: Shit.

TRAVIS: But I don't wanna!

TALIESIN: There's a 10-minute one that should be, if I recall, somewhere in there.

SAM: I'll use two 1st-level spells, I suppose.

LAURA: That's it? Can't you do more?

SAM: I can. I can burn one of my two 3rd-level spells.

TRAVIS: Don't you listen to her, don't listen to her.

MARISHA: This feels like some Gus-level resentment.

TALIESIN: Yeah, no, I'll tell you. One 1st-level spell will probably get Orym up to double digits.

SAM: Yeah, but I got to do him, too.

TALIESIN: Maybe to double digits.

TRAVIS: I'm in double digits, though, I'm okay.

LIAM: I'm not.

LAURA: He's hurting real bad.

TALIESIN: He's one hit.

SAM: Then I'll burn the 3rd-level spell.

MARISHA: Ooh!

TALIESIN: Do you have the instant? Make sure you're using the good one. Because there's three different types of healing spells.

SAM: I will use Aura of Vitality.

LIAM: Just give me a hot toddy.

LAURA: Ooh, what is that?

MARISHA: Hot toddy sounds so good right now.

SAM: I can use--

MARISHA: Fuck.

SAM: -- six rounds of bonus actions and every round, heal them 2d6.

LIAM: Oh, that would get me, in a minute, would get me to full.

SAM: I'm sure. Both of them. Every one, anyone who was hurt.

LAURA: Great, yeah, that's actually pretty cool.

TRAVIS: Do we have to come stand next to you?

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Cuddle up as we move forward?

MARISHA: 60-second breather.

TALIESIN: Oh, 30 feet, that's--

ASHLEY: How many people do you need?

LIAM: 2d6 times six?

SAM: Anyone. Anyone within 30 feet.

ASHLEY: Huddle in, everybody.

TALIESIN: That's a great combat spell, by the way.

SAM: I know. Takes an action to cast.

TALIESIN: Sure.

SAM: Then I can use it, I can heal as a bonus action on the next round.

TALIESIN: Oh man, I want to sit down and have so many, that's the best cleric spell I've ever heard in my entire life.

LAURA: That is amazing.

ASHLEY: Yeah, that's very clutch.

TALIESIN: That is, yeah.

LAURA: Better than, yeah. That's huge.

TALIESIN: Suck up the four points of damage you might do.

SAM: Until the spell ends, the aura moves with you, centered on you. You can use a bonus action to cause one, I'm sorry, one creature in the aura.

TALIESIN: Okay, okay, okay.

SAM: One creature to regain 2d6, but it's up to a minute. So that's 10 rounds?

TALIESIN: That's still nuts.

MATT: Every round, you can cast the spell, as long as it's not concentration.

LIAM: Different people could touch until--

SAM: So 10 rounds of 2d6.

LAURA: Okay, great.

TALIESIN: Holy shit!

LIAM: So you want to go a round at a time? This is going to be like Hands on a Hardbody.

ASHLEY: Hands on a Hardbody!

SAM: First one is 10 points to whoever wants it.

ASHLEY: Great!

LAURA: Let's give it all to Orym to begin with until he's up.

SAM: Second one is six points.

LIAM: Six points.

SAM: Third one is... 10 points.

LIAM: Okay, pretty good.

TALIESIN: This is the craziest spell.

SAM: Fourth round is five points.

LIAM: One more time. Somebody else, I'm going to back off.

SAM: All right.

TRAVIS: Do I take those five?

SAM: No, now you get 11.

TRAVIS: Whoo!

MARISHA: Ooh.

TALIESIN: So, yeah, once you get close to the end, we'll start distributing you.

SAM: You get another six.

TRAVIS: That's all I need, I'm good.

SAM: Okay, anyone else need--?

LIAM: I'll take one more, unless. No, you go, you go.

SAM: That's 12!

LIAM: Shit, all right. I'm taking it, now you.

LAURA: Okay, sure.

SAM: Uh-huh. I'm rolling so good, eight points.

LAURA: Sweet.

SAM: I got two more of these, anyone want?

LIAM: You only have seven hit points.

TRAVIS: I could take seven more.

TALIESIN: I'm fine.

SAM: This is a crazy spell. Eight points.

TRAVIS: Done.

SAM: Then me, I'll do me and myself. I'm back.

LAURA: Woo!

TALIESIN: Oh wow.

MATT: And that--

MARISHA: Combat.

TRAVIS: F.C.G.!

MARISHA: Combat spell.

TRAVIS: So if that was combat we could run up and get a touch--

LAURA: Where did that spell come from? Was that always a spell?

TRAVIS: -- and take off.

ASHLEY: Yeah, has that always been there?

MATT: No, it's technically-- I think if I recall, it's generally a paladin spell that you get access to as your subclass.

ALL: Oh!

LIAM: Nice.

LAURA: Nice. I'm like, why didn't I ever see that one!

TALIESIN: Yeah, I never saw that shit before.

TRAVIS: (siren noises)

LIAM: What's it called, Grass?

SAM: Aura of Vitality.

LIAM: Nice.

SAM: But we'll call it Happy Feel Good Time. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Oh my god, that's so good. That's such a good spell.

MATT: It's a really good spell.

MARISHA: That's some paladin shit?

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Fuck.

MARISHA: We've all been sleeping on paladins.

TALIESIN: I know, I feel bad now.

MATT: No, no, two of you haven't been sleeping on paladins.

LIAM: Not me and Travis.

SAM: I don't know what I am!

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, okay.

ASHLEY: Wait, what do you mean you don't know what--

SAM: I don't know what I am! We'll find out--

LAURA: Uh-huh.

SAM: -- after this break.

ASHLEY: No! (laughter)

SAM: And go to commercial.

TALIESIN: That's a 5th-level spell. (whooshes)

MATT: All righty, Gus and Olly dust themselves off a little bit.

LAURA: If it's been a minute, then my storm is gone as well.

MATT: Yeah, do you have any other heals for this?

SAM: That's plenty.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah, we're good.

MATT: No, I mean, do you have any extra ones? Gus and Olly could take some.

SAM: Oh no, I used them all on us.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: I mean, I could Healing Word or something.

MATT: Olly goes, "I was-- If there was anything extra, but I'm good. It was a minor injury. I'm fine, I'm fine, it's appreciated."

SAM: I can take back the one I gave to myself and give it to Olly.

MATT: Nope, it's too late. It's all good.

LAURA: You should have stepped, feel free to step up and touch him anytime if he's offering it out.

MATT: "With consent."

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: I consent.

MATT: "But no, legitimately, trust me, I've had far worse than this, I'm fine." Puts the crossbow away. "Okay, so what's next?" They both look up towards the lightless expanse ahead of you in the tunnel.

TALIESIN: We're here.

LAURA: The balls be back.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: I mean, I know we--

LAURA: The storm is gone.

TRAVIS: I know we announced ourselves pretty quickly. I could make myself hard to see and go forward and see what's up there if we don't want to kick off another deluge.

SAM: You have darkvision, right?

TRAVIS: I do. I could make myself invisible.

TALIESIN: I mean.

TRAVIS: But--

SAM: We're going to keep forging down into these tunnels, right?

TRAVIS: That's what we came here for.

TALIESIN: Let's stay a bit behind you, then.

MARISHA: I'm here for a scout.

TRAVIS: Yeah, you okay with that?

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LAURA: Don't go into any rooms by yourself. If you see something troublesome, you come back.

TRAVIS: Why, do you care for me?

LAURA: Yeah, Chetney. You're my one true love.

TRAVIS: Don't tease me. (laughter)

TRAVIS: I live for this stuff. All right. We'll meet up topside. ♪ Think of me, Think of me fondly ♪ Invisible. (laughter)

MATT: So you're doing Invisibility?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: Okay. You vanish from sight. You're stealthing ahead?

TRAVIS: I will stealth ahead.

MATT: Roll a stealth check for me, please. Since it is sound based, since you are invisible, you have advantage, I believe, right?

LIAM: Let's go, sneaky Pete.

TRAVIS: 19.

LAURA: Sneaky Pete.

MATT: 19, okay.

TALIESIN: Ash can. Who can?

MARISHA: Ash can.

MATT: Following the pathway upward, you can see where the different branches of the mines have been continued in different directions. Do you have darkvision?

TRAVIS: I do, 60 feet.

MATT: Good, good. You can't look too far into each of the paths, but you do hear the occasional skittering sound in a direction that guides you at least to where the life and the movement is happening at the moment. Following through, make a perception check for me.

TRAVIS: It says--

LIAM: This is why I wasn't at full.

TRAVIS: It says with my Hunter's Bane, it lets me "spot, hear, or otherwise detect the presence of something at advantage."

MATT: Correct.

TRAVIS: Amazing.

MATT: You do not have advantage on this one in particular.

TRAVIS: Okay. Just straight roll.

MARISHA: It's honestly not great.

TRAVIS: 17.

MATT: 17.

TRAVIS: 16.

ASHLEY: Put that down.

MATT: Walking through this portion of the chamber, you can see amongst the rock walls--

MARISHA: They were so tired. Super over it.

MATT: -- that viscous slime that you had seen beginning to permeate the earlier elements of this chamber growing thicker and leaving these slime cocoons in portions of the wall.

TRAVIS: It's totally Aliens.

LIAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: They're in the walls, man.

MATT: Finding my inspiration for this yet?

ALL: Oh no!

MARISHA: They're in the goddamn walls.

MATT: No--

TRAVIS: "Pass over the ammunition, Hudson."

TALIESIN: Aim for the zipper, it's where they're weakest.

MATT: You can see piles of equipment in certain areas and you can glance as you pass by them. There's clothing and bone, and that smell of rock gets stronger. The temperature's warm in here, humid, with the moisture that is adorning the interior space. Write your notes, Laura.

SAM: Just draw your dicks.

ASHLEY: There was a noise that really sounded like a fart.

LAURA: It sounded like a little toot, that's all.

LIAM: Laura, are you drawing your dicks again?

TALIESIN: Tiny toot.

MATT: You continue on for about 50, 60 or so feet and you hear some more movement nearby. You can see past these two pillars into a somewhat larger and descending open path ahead. As the shadow begins to pull away from your darkvision, you can now see about eight or nine more of these shade creepers, two of them of the larger, mutated variety, and they're all chittering to each other. Turning in place. Some of them climb up on this one pillar in the center. You can see where this large gathering of congealed slime is, a humanoid figure that's up into the wall and cocooned, if you will.

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

LAURA: This is where the disappearing people have been.

MATT: One of them pulls up onto it and paws at it, if you will, like it has an animal intelligence. As it does, the cocoon splits a bit and two arms pull out, and you see leaning torso-wise out of this cocoon, with a bit of a dripping residue that (plops) onto the ground beneath it, the familiar sight of Lady Emoth Kade.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

MATT: You can see her hair slimed into these clumps as she leans out of it partially and (gasps) takes a breath. (clicking) She steps out from the cocoon onto the ground.

TRAVIS: I know I'm invisible, but just like in the doorway encounter, I naturally find some cover and make myself small.

MATT: Makes sense. As she stands up a bit, you can see there's no clothing on her, but also the body itself lacks some human features that you would expect from a disrobed person. She stands up a bit and you hear her clicking back and forth with these creatures, and as she does, she stretches her arms. As she does, you glance and there are these holes that open in her back, her shoulders, almost breathing.

ASHLEY: Oh my god!

TRAVIS: (laughs)

LAURA: (groans)

LIAM: Ew.

TALIESIN: Yum.

MARISHA: (uncomfortable humming)

TRAVIS: Ash is now really, now stuck.

TRAVIS: Uh oh.

SAM: He's rolling.

LAURA: Oh no, she's sniffing for you.

TALIESIN: Someone shouldn't've showered.

MARISHA: You smell her and she smells you.

LIAM: She smells the Old Spice.

MATT: (chitters)

SAM: The Bengay.

MATT: (hisses)

LAURA: (gasps)

MATT: Looks loosely in your direction, and in this lightless space, you see these pupilless dark eyes within her face.

LAURA: Fucking so awful.

MATT: (heavy breathing)

TRAVIS: Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Just start (footsteps pattering).

MATT: Roll a stealth check.

MARISHA: Come on, oh god.

LAURA: Oh god.

MARISHA: Don't get eaten.

LAURA: Get out of there.

SAM: With advantage because you're invisible, right?

MATT: Yep.

LIAM: Smells the Werther's on you.

TRAVIS: 18.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: 18.

SAM: Let's see what she's going to roll.

MARISHA: What is with this bitch?

MATT: Okay. You trudge back quickly.

TRAVIS: (rapid footsteps) (yelps, thuds) No, I'm just kidding. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Okay, okay, okay, I'm here, I'm here. Lady Emoth Kade is there, up on a column.

SAM: Oh, well that's good.

TRAVIS: She looks almost worse than before. There were holes in her shoulders, and her back, and her arms are awful. There's also another dozen or so shade creepers. It's really, really bad.

LAURA: Were they the little ones or the big ones?

TRAVIS: I was focused on her, but I think it was the little ones. There's probably big ones in there, too. We should have our shit together.

SAM: Should we draw them out here? Some sort of an ambush?

TRAVIS: Well, they have more numbers than we do, so the more narrow the tunnel the better.

MATT: Gus goes, "Were they close together? Because--" and he snaps his fingers and a bit of flame curls around his thumb.

TRAVIS: Hot. Yeah, they were. They were bunched up all around her, but they were also on the floor. I think she's the problem, though. Oh, but we got to bring her in alive.

LIAM: We're trying to catch her.

LAURA: Right?

MATT: "Yeah."

SAM: But would one shot from you destroy her, maybe, or you don't know?

MATT: "I don't know, you're the ones who've tangled with her before."

LAURA: Probably not.

LIAM: We soften up the entire group right from the get go.

LAURA: That's a great idea.

MATT: "You're not the only one who can go invisible, by the way."

TRAVIS: Oh shit, come on doggy, doggy.

MARISHA: Oh!

TRAVIS: Doggy!

MARISHA: Who is him?

TRAVIS: Listen, but we also have to prevent her from escaping.

LAURA: Yeah, so we should get in there quick.

MATT: "Get it at the ready." Olly reaches into a pocket and pulls out this small, semi-translucent pearl. Goes, (Olly) "If I can get close enough, we'll have her at our beck and call for a little bit."

LIAM: How far up are they?

TRAVIS: What was it, about 100 feet, 80 feet?

MATT: From where you are here, a little past 100 feet or so.

LIAM: Which means we have to all as a group stealth up,

TRAVIS: Lights out.

LIAM: We can sweep up after the initial hit.

LAURA: I can't see in the dark.

TRAVIS: That's okay, you can put your hand on somebody's shoulder, mine if you want to.

LAURA: You're invisible.

LIAM: Can you see in the dark?

TRAVIS: That doesn't mean you can't touch me.

TRAVIS: Let your fingers explore.

ASHLEY: I don't think I have darkvision either.

MARISHA: ♪ When you say goodbye ♪

TALIESIN: Once everything's going, is there any reason not to have light in there?

LIAM: Who can? You can see in the dark. Anyone else? You two?

MARISHA: Yes.

LAURA: I feel like F.C.G. should be able to.

TRAVIS: Fearne can't?

ASHLEY: It doesn't say. It would say, right?

TRAVIS: At the bottom of your features and traits.

LIAM: What about you two?

ASHLEY: I can't.

MATT: "What?"

LIAM: Can you see right now, in the dark?

MATT: "We can, yeah."

LAURA: Oh wait, that's not where it would say.

LIAM: Okay, so--

MATT: "Up to a certain point."

LIAM: You in the front with Chet. You and Olly in the back.

MARISHA: And everyone else in a sandwich?

LIAM: In a conga line, so that we can be quiet with people who can see at the front and the back.

LAURA: Racial traits.

LIAM: You soften up and as soon as you do, we rush in.

TRAVIS: Yep.

MARISHA: All right.

TALIESIN: We light it up, so everyone can see.

TRAVIS: I don't think it gets any fancier than that.

LIAM: Can you help us be sneaky?

TRAVIS: I didn't see anything behind her, but--

TALIESIN: Sadly, no.

LIAM: Damn it!

TALIESIN: That's already done for the day.

LIAM: Damn it.

TALIESIN: I thought we'd have further to go.

TRAVIS: What's that?

SAM: Pass Without a Trace.

LIAM: Ash is able to keep us quiet.

TALIESIN: I can't do it anymore.

LIAM: It's all going to be-- Fucking be quiet as you can.

MARISHA: All right. All right.

TRAVIS: It'll be great.

ASHLEY: What are we doing?

LAURA: We're just all going to be quiet?

TRAVIS: What are we doing?

LAURA: We were totally distracted about figuring out if Fearne could see.

LIAM: Chetney and Gus are going to-- we're going to do a conga line here to walk in the dark.

ASHLEY: I love conga lines.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: Chetney and Gus are going to be at the front. Laudna and Olly are going to be at the back. And everyone else who can't fucking see will be in the middle.

TRAVIS: Olly has the pearl.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay.

TRAVIS: Or Gus has the pearl, okay. Olly has the pearl, Gus is the one who--

LIAM: All right, switch that. Olly's at the front with Chet.

ASHLEY: I like it.

TRAVIS: She's going to have to be sneaky as fuck.

LIAM: Yes.

TRAVIS: Just a bunch of martial weapons.

LIAM: Hope and pray to wherever F.C.G. gets their power from.

TRAVIS: Steve Rogers.

TALIESIN: Self-actualization.

LIAM: Or maybe it's just F.C.G.-- Yeah, self-actualization. Everybody pray to F.C.G.

SAM: That's very flattering, but I think I might jeopardize the stealthy part of the mission, so maybe I'll hang back until I hear some scuffles going on and then I'll rush in.

LIAM: Can you carry F.C.G.?

TALIESIN: I mean, technically.

LIAM: How heavy are they?

SAM: I never weighed myself.

TALIESIN: I can pick them up, but--

LAURA: Fearne can pick them up.

TALIESIN: Fearne, actually, yeah.

LIAM: All right, as long as your servos aren't going.

ASHLEY: Do you want me to hold you for a little bit, maybe? Mister is up on my shoulder.

SAM: You can.

MATT: You've picked them up before, they're as heavy as a person would be of their size because there are parts that are denser and parts that are hollow, so it all evens out to be a solid like--

MARISHA: Mister and F.C.G.

MATT: Like a 175, 180 pounds--

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: Which is heavy for the size, but still doable.

SAM: Could she still stealth holding two creatures?

MATT: We can find out.

ASHLEY: Wait, what's your stealth, is it that bad?

SAM: It's disadvantage.

LIAM: That's why I wanted--

TRAVIS: We'll add to this as well. Because I'm invisible, she seemed to be able to lock on to smell, at least mine, so when we go in, I'll fucking run straight into the back of the cave. I'll take all their attention away from where we're coming from.

MARISHA: All right!

LIAM: Okay, that's cool, that's cool. So if we get up there and then you bolt

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LIAM: And once-- we'll give you 10 seconds to run in. That's your cue, Olly.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: (as Gus) "Am I blowing them up first or are we doing-- okay. I'm blowing up, then you--" (Olly) "Yeah, I'll go ahead and I'll try and follow up then, and see if I can catch it with the thing. All right."

LIAM: Wait, are you running in before the blast?

TRAVIS: I'll run first, I'll tell them to count to 10.

LIAM: Run fast.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah. Please, these knees got lightning in them.

LIAM: How's the arthritis?

TRAVIS: It's not so much the arthritis as it is the bursitis, so. It's good, it's good.

MATT: "All right, let's give it a shot." Gus goes ahead and marks a quick, like a swirl and a flick of a pen, and then you watch as Gus' form turns invisible as well.

TALIESIN: It's cool.

LIAM: Fucking Green Sleeves, man.

SAM: They're good.

MATT: (Olly) "It's Green, Green Seeker."

LIAM: That's what I said.

MATT: "Yeah."

TALIESIN: ♪ Green Seeker ♪

SAM: Green Grocers.

MATT: "All right, are we going to do this?"

TRAVIS: Yeah, I grab Gus' cloak and we start walking.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Yeah and I grab, I don't know.

LIAM: I grab some of Fearne's--

LAURA: Conga line.

LIAM: -- fur hair, fur.

MARISHA: I put my hands on Imogen's shoulders.

LAURA: All right.

TALIESIN: I'll get in front of you then.

LAURA: All right, I'm going to grab on to Ashton's hoodie wrapped around their waist.

ASHLEY: Who am I grabbing onto?

SAM: You're holding two creatures, you can't grab onto anybody.

TALIESIN: I've got my hand on your back, I believe, at this point.

ASHLEY: Okay, great.

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: Okay. I would like everybody to make a stealth checks, please.

LAURA: Do we have advantage, do we have anything to help us?

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: There's no advantage here.

LAURA: No Pass Without a Trace present or nothing.

LIAM: These rolls, these rolls, guys.

LAURA: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

SAM: I'm not rolling, correct, Matthew?

MATT: You're not rolling. She's rolling for both of you, essentially, so you roll twice.

ASHLEY: Okay, I did.

TALIESIN: I keep forgetting myself is a little bit better than I thought, but I'm still not that excited by it.

TRAVIS: 24.

MATT: 24, great.

MARISHA: 19.

MATT: 19, good.

SAM: No.

LAURA: No.

SAM: Wow, you rolled the same number twice? I rolled that same number twice also.

ASHLEY: No, you did not!

SAM: I did.

LAURA: Well, it was meant to be.

MARISHA: Is it a bad one?

LAURA: It's not great.

ASHLEY: That's not awesome.

LIAM: (like Gollum) What is it?

ASHLEY: It's...

MARISHA: Say the words.

ASHLEY: 11.

MARISHA: Okay.

ASHLEY: For both of us.

MATT: For both of you. Okay?

LAURA: It could be seven, which is what I rolled.

LIAM: (groans)

TALIESIN: Oh no.

LIAM: Big 15.

MARISHA: Oh, okay!

TALIESIN: I also got 11.

LIAM: Oh shit.

LAURA: We're just over the average, right?

LIAM: But there's still the Green Seekers.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, come on, Olly.

MATT: Gus is fine, Olly didn't roll that great.

MARISHA: Ah!

TALIESIN: So it's almost like they weren't here. (nervous laughter)

SAM: Okay. This is going to work out that great.

MATT: Carefully, your conga line of stealth--

LAURA: Oh god.

MATT: -- progresses deeper into the lightless cavern, helmed by you and Gus, both ensuring your advance in tandem. You hear Gus quietly be like, "All right, you know the way, you start this off."

TRAVIS: Follow my lead.

MATT: Okay. You get within about 50 or so feet from the edge of where it is, and you can still see the creatures, they've shifted a little bit in space, but they're still gathered at the base of the pillar. What do you do?

TRAVIS: 50 or so feet from the base of the pillar?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: All right, I'm going to go. Count to 10. A-one, and a-two, and a-- Wait, so and before I-- three (quick footsteps).

MATT: So you're just...

TRAVIS: I'm just bolting.

MATT: Bolting?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: Still invisible, but...

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'm not going to head straight for the pillar, but get a wide arc to the left around the shade creepers and around the pillar that's hoisting--

ASHLEY: A banana?

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Giving it a banana.

LIAM: Boltin' like Michael.

ASHLEY: Give it a banana.

MATT: Dart past, not in stealth, making the noise, all the creatures shift and they're following the sound and hearing where it goes, and some of them start shifting and skittering around to follow in the path of where you're going. As you rush around, you can see all the different openings into small caverns that were abandoned mines, or things that have since-- equipment still lying around, and you can see, in quick glances out of the corner of your eyes, other shapes and piles of people, what once were people, but have since been eaten or scavenged or whatnot, and as you rush past them, hearing the sounds behind you, you get around the pillar and you can see the next path behind it opens into a much larger cavern. You do not see, in that run--

MARISHA: What?

MATT: Lady Emoth. (gasping)

MARISHA: This bitch!

LAURA: She got away from us!

MATT: While the rest of the creatures are still clustered around her, and she was not one of them. As you run past and look and you see the next open room inside, and there's a faint orangish glow, that very, ever so faintly lights the very rims of this open room.

ASHLEY: Oh god.

MATT: As soon as that happens, you hear (explosion), there's a flash of warm light behind you as a fireball explosion detonates the cluster of creatures that have been following and pincering behind you and pieces go flying and you hear the screeches and screams of them from the explosion that echoes through the hallway. The handful that still remain are still in flames and shrieking, as the rest of you see this light, this was the sign, you all rush in. Are you putting light into this room?

LAURA: No, I'm just doing that from the flames. I guess I should, yeah.

MATT: It's an immediate explosion and then the flames go out.

LAURA: Yeah, okay, Dancing Lights are up in there.

MATT: Okay, you see a couple of these creatures (growls). They're hurt pretty heavily from the impact of this fireball, and would likely be easily dispatched by any of your ambush type tactics. So as you guys are finishing out this, glancing around, you can see Olly, pulls on the pearl and is looking around, there's no Lady Emoth. While this chaos is happening, you look into this large chamber and your eyes adjust, stepping and still invisible. You can see there's two small workstations set inside. You see two figures that are hunched over the tables, and are manipulating things around it.

LAURA: Oh no, it's the Nightmare King.

MATT: You see these, this odd series of platforms, the topography in here, this is a larger cavernous space that this mine opened into and there are metal contraptions and elements where this area was being prepared for some sort of a mining operation and then was abandoned. You can see, in the center and across the way, Lady Emoth, standing there, faced away, looking up. And there you see, floating above, attached to the wall, a gargantuan mass--

LAURA: Oh no.

MATT: -- of pulsing--

TRAVIS: What?

MATT: -- flesh.

TRAVIS: What?!

MATT: Like a 60-foot slug curving across the cavern. 60-foot slug curving across the cavern.

TRAVIS: 60-foot?

MATT: You can see it shifting down the wall slightly. (grossed-out noises)

MATT: As she puts her hands up towards it. As it shifts, you see at the front of it, a figure emerge.

MARISHA: Oh my god. It's-- oh god!

MATT: You see almost a humanoid-like torso.

TRAVIS: No...

MATT: But long and drawn out, extended, rake-like fingers that had come from arms that could be 10, 12 feet long and a secondary pair that curls around and grabs the wall as it goes. You see at the front of its elongated neck, this crown of bone that curls up and these black, void-like eyes. No nose and a similar opened jaw filled with dozens and dozens of jagged teeth coming at odd angles and rows. You see this mat of long, black, straggly hair, like the mane of a wild horse, but tangled and matted with grease that frames it like a nightmarish lion's mane.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: (ghoulish gasping) And you hear Lady Emoth Kade, "(clicking shade creeper language) Mother, we have visitors."

LAURA: Oh no.

MATT: And she looks back towards you. And that's where we'll pick up next week. (yelling)

ASHLEY: Oh no!

MARISHA: We got to fight an evil slug!

TRAVIS: 60 feet!

LAURA: This is bad!

ASHLEY: 60 feet?!

TALIESIN: You take us to the nicest places.

SAM: I don't have very many spells left.

MARISHA: You take me to the nicest places.

TRAVIS: (counting) That's almost the whole length of that thing, like three-quarters of it.

LAURA: There's no way we can fight that.

MATT: It's stretched out across it.

TRAVIS: It's totally the Queen from Aliens.

MARISHA: It's like the length of the stage.

ASHLEY: Yeah, there's no way.

LIAM: Who conserved? Who conserved?

LAURA: A little bit, a little bit.

MARISHA: Who what?

ALL: Conserved.

SAM: Think I have four slots left.

MARISHA: I got a sorcery point, but I burned zero spells. Technically.

LAURA: That's great. I got five spells left and almost all my sorcery points.

TRAVIS: Maybe the pearl will control the 60-foot slug.

SAM: Sure.

TALIESIN: I've got all my basics, and I don't know what I'll get.

TRAVIS: We can also just run back to the elevator, no problem.

SAM: That's true.

MARISHA: I didn't do my Form of Dread, so that's good.

ASHLEY: That helps.

SAM: That'll work.

TRAVIS: That's not what we're in here for.

MARISHA: No, I don't she's going to--

ASHLEY: We're here to die.

TRAVIS: I got back and I disable the elevator.

SAM: It's going to be great. We got Gus and Olly with us.

ASHLEY: Yeah!

LIAM: Yeah.

SAM: The Green Seekers.

ASHLEY: We'll be okay.

MARISHA: The Green Sleeves.

ASHLEY: Well, maybe we can--

TRAVIS: What a fucking visual, jesus!

ASHLEY: Oh god.

MARISHA: I--

MATT: Well, we'll pick up from there next week.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

SAM: Thanks for hanging in.

MATT: Indeed, thank you all for joining us, coming along for this wild ride. We'll see you next week, we love you very much, and is it Thursday yet?

SAM: Yay!

MATT: Good night.

ASHLEY: Oh my god.