Transcript:A Cycle of Vengeance

List of Transcripts

Pre-Show
MATT: Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight’s episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons and occasionally get shivved by a rakshasa.

LAURA AND ASHLEY: No!

MATT: Occasionally.

ASHLEY: Go away.

MATT: So! Before we go ahead and jump into the game tonight, let’s go ahead and do a couple quick announcements. First and foremost, returning again this week, our sponsor Loot Crate for bringing this episode to you guys. For those who are familiar with it, and most of you are at this point, but Loot Crate is a monthly subscription box service. They have awesome geek-related gear and merchandise and clothing, a lot of them exclusive to the box. You get $20 a month to get 6-8 items that include licensed gear, apparel, collectible, all that fun-ness, but you also get a $3 discount if you go ahead and sign up at lootcrate.com/criticalrole and enter the key phrase criticalrole - one word - into that new subscription code box. They also have a DX box, which is bigger, awesome for the super-collector out there. Which has a bunch of really awesome exclusive content. Plays awesome music from Ashley’s phone.

ASHLEY: That’s true, you all get my phone if you get it.

MATT: This month’s Dystopia boxes will be shipping out soon to those of you guys who subscribed, and Loot Crate will be announcing their next box tomorrow, 6/24.

TRAVIS: Yeah, they will!

MATT: So look forward to that - and you’ll see what their next theme is, which will be nice.

LAURA: How - you were already here!

MATT: Sam! Come on in, sir.

MARISHA: You’re here, you’re still coming in.

MATT: You were on time and you’re still somehow late.

SAM: Nobody told me that the show was starting.

MATT: It’s 7:00! It’s crazy.

SAM: Oh, that’s right.

LAURA: Oh, that’s how it works.

MATT: So yeah. The links are in the chat. Check it out if you’re interested in signing up for Loot Crate. We hope to make it a little bit cheaper for you. So, there. We got that. The Critical Role t-shirt design contest has been live for a while.

LAURA: There are so many good pieces.

MARISHA: Oh man, so many good ones.

MATT: It’s going to be ridiculous. I’m not looking forward to having to choose.

MARISHA: Yes, I know, it’s going to be tough.

TRAVIS: Stick figures for the win.

MATT: But yeah, it closes June 24th, guys. This Friday at midnight. So go ahead and get them in; you got one more day for the most part, a little over a day to get those last entries in and we’ll announce those winners soon. Remember, you have to be 18 or older to enter, or you can have a guardian enter -

LAURA: We choose the top three, right? And then the Critters get to -

MATT: The Critters choose the last one.

SAM: But you can already vote.

LAURA: Yeah, I don’t understand how that’s working, because we’re choosing the top three, and then the Critters get to choose between the ones that we choose.

MARISHA: I think it’s supposed to be like how our Congress is supposed to work,

SAM: They’re choosing representatives?

MARISHA: Yeah, exactly.

LAURA: I understand.

MARISHA: We’ll see what you want -

LAURA: And disregard it completely.

MARISHA: We’ll disregard it completely and just make our own choice.

MATT: We’re just all not in the room where it happens.

ALL: (singing) I wanna be in the room where it happens, the room where it happens, the room where it happens.

MATT: Oh god, we’re those people. Sorry. Anyway, that ends tomorrow. You have to be 18 or older to enter, but you can have a guardian enter on your behalf if you’re a young artist. Fantastic news. Next up, our posters that we put up last week.

ALL: Oh!

MATT: Really excited about those, done by the awesome Joe Mad. Those are still on sale. We have one more week only for the exclusive cast-signed posters, and then two weeks for the pre-order for the regular poster. Go check it out at the Geek & Sundry shop if you’re interested. The artwork is amazing.

TRAVIS: They’re so pretty!

ASHLEY: They’re just so pretty!

MATT: Pretty sick, movie poster-sized.

TRAVIS: I want it in a frame.

ASHLEY: They’re so pretty in person.

LIAM: In person, they look about ten times more vibrant than the images I saw.

SAM: Just like us!

MATT: Mostly Sam, though. You can’t help but be so vibrant. (funny voice) I just spilled on my groin. I don’t know why I felt like saying that out loud. So those are the posters. Check them out at shop.geekandsundry.com/collections/criticalrole. Starting tomorrow, we have the MDA stream. Geek & Sundry’s doing a fantastic 24-hour charity stream. They’ve partnered with Amy Poehler’s Smart Girls and Nerdist. There’s going to be a variety: game-show, livestream, everything, benefiting the Muscular Dystrophy Association. You guys are welcome to come in at any time for as much of it as you can, check out the great programming we have set up for you guys. It starts tomorrow at 7pm. There will be no regular programming tomorrow because the crew is going to have to be setting up and preparing for this actual livestream, but starting at 7pm, it goes on for the next 24 hours. So look forward to us all being sleepless and crazy. We are going to be finishing out the charity drive Saturday evening, starting at 5pm PT here. I’m going to be running a one-shot Deadlands Savage Worlds game for a few of our cast who are going to be here for that, and I’m excited for that because it’s one of my favorite settings. It’s going to be great! The shirts are available now if you want to check them out. We have our own -

TALIESIN: Right here. Critical Role.

MATT: - charity shirts right there.

LAURA: Ooh, it’s beautiful!

TALIESIN: Lovely vibrant blue with a thing on the -

LAURA: All of it, all of it goes to the charity.

MARISHA: Yeah, 100% of the proceeds go to -

MATT: All the proceeds go to MDA.

ASHLEY: Beautiful “turquaz.”

TALIESIN: “Turquaz.”

MATT: We got that set up. Next up, we have tomorrow, we have the next issue, release would we call it, of Dear Vox Machina. However, it is not necessarily a member of Vox Machina. This is one that I put together that I think you guys should enjoy. What character could it possibly be? I guess you’ll just have to check in tomorrow to find out. But that’ll be on geekandsundry.com tomorrow, I think around noon? Maybe earlier. I’ll tweet it out. You’ll find out on Geek & Sundry’s Twitter page, but -

SAM: Is it Jarrett?

MATT: You’ll have to check it out, you’ll have to come find out, but I had a lot of fun writing it.

ASHLEY: Someone keeps forgetting to do it.

LAURA: (gasps) You haven’t done it yet?

ASHLEY: I keep forgetting. I keep forgetting to do it. And then it comes around, and then…

MATT: I got you covered. Trinket had you covered. You got five more days.

ASHLEY: All right, guys, we’ll get there.

MATT: So yeah, that’s coming up tomorrow. Check that out. We have a new Signal Boost host. Marisha, you want to take that?

MARISHA: A new host!

MATT: Yeah, what you got?

MARISHA: Stay tuned for the break to see who it is, or if you happened to watch it you already know, but stay tuned for the break for the surprise.

SAM: Best kind of surprise.

MARISHA: Best kind of surprise. That you’ve already heard about.

MATT: Yeah. And last on my end as far as announcements go, there will be no Critical Role official episode next Thursday because me and Marisha will be in Australia at the Haven Expo, so all you Aussies that want to come see us then, we’ll be out there doing panels and talks and meeting a bunch of you guys. It’ll be a lot of fun. However, while we will not be here, there will still be other members of our fantastic group here that are able to be here next week to put on whatever you decide to, that’s up to you guys.

LAURA: We’re just going to hula-hoop for three hours.

TRAVIS: It’ll be a surprise. It’s going to be great. We’re going to draw on each others’ faces with toothpaste.

LAURA: They’re going to do other things. I’m going to hula-hoop for three hours straight.

MATT: Laura’s going to hula-hoop for three hours straight. You heard it here. Hold her to it.

ASHLEY: She’s really good.

TRAVIS: Yeah, Liam’s going to hold the plank position for 2 hours.

LIAM: Oh, that’s easy.

TALIESIN: It’s the one where you lie on your back, right?

TRAVIS: Yep. Roll like a turtle.

MATT: Hashtag flat on your back.

TALIESIN: I can do that one.

MATT: The reverse plank? Yeah. So yeah, check it out on Twitter as these yahoos figure out what their content is going to be next week. I’m sure it’s going to be fantastic. We’re going to be watching it from Australia. I’m excited to see what you guys pull together. Anyway. That’s all I got. Has anyone else got something they want me to mention? Or shall we dive on in?

TRAVIS: Let’s get it! Let’s get it!

LAURA: No no no! Keep stalling!

MATT: All righty, then.

LIAM: Wait wait wait. I would like to say that I was into breaking my friends’ hearts before it was cool.

(all laugh)

MATT: Sorry about that. Without further ado, let’s go ahead and dive into this week’s episode of Critical Role.

(spooky ethereal music) (heavy breathing) (roaring) (dramatic music) (gun firing) (dramatic music) (crackling flames)

Part I
MATT: Welcome back!

So. Last we left off, Vox Machina,

having returned to Vasselheim,

in which Vax

and to a lesser extent Percy

had their own encounters

with the Raven Queen.

Vax found seemingly

some catharsis and purpose

to his currently-deemed champion position

with the Raven Queen.

Percy discovered

he’s been broken all along

and left slightly slapped in the nuts.

But such is the nature of your journey.

But you also crafted

a metal claw hand for an ally.

But as you guys finish up

your business in Vasselheim,

you made your way

back to Whitestone.

While in Whitestone,

you met up with some old friends,

had dinner with Allura, Kima,

the Realmseer, Gilmore.

You guys discussed all the things

that you needed to do in the future,

some information had been acquired

from some of the Vestiges,

as well as the nature

of some of the dragons of the Conclave

and some discussion was had

on the overall purpose

of this recent incursion

of dragon destruction.

After which, you all went to bed.

While resting, midnight,

a visit from Gilmore to Vax’s room

after some oil prankery

was beset upon each other

via Grog and Vax.

Gilmore gifted a fine silk robe to Vax

and requested his presence

to discuss time that has passed.

Upon changing into the robe,

you guys made your way

down the hallway, up the stairs

to one of the high balconies

of the west tower of Whitestone.

Upon which Gilmore turned,

seemingly in some serious displeasure,

and stabbed you with a dagger

you had not seen was there.

As the pain set in, you realized

perhaps this is not

the Gilmore you recall,

but a shapeshifting,

tiger-like devil entity

that you may have pissed off

some time in the past.

LIAM: Is it a sports mascot?

It’s a sports mascot.

MARISHA AND TALIESIN: They’re grrreat!

MATT: That’s not sports.

TRAVIS: Wow.

(all laugh)

MATT: Not that I’d know.

Anyway, let’s go ahead

and jump in this moment.

As the rest of the party

is sleeping soundly,

I would like you, Vax'ildan -

SAM: I am not sleeping.

MATT: You’re not sleeping?

SAM: Remember, I said

I was staying up to read my book.

MATT: To read your book,

you’re right, you are totally right.

Well, I’m going to have you

roll initiative, if you don’t mind.

LIAM: I have a lot of interesting ideas

that will go out the window

depending on this roll, possibly.

TRAVIS: We’re all watching.

LIAM: I don’t like his reaction.

I’m going to use luck.

I have two lucks left,

I’m going to use one of them.

(groans) It was on 18

and went down. No, 16.

MATT: 16. All righty.

LIAM: Oh, well.

It was going to be really interesting.

MATT: I can only imagine.

(all laugh)

TRAVIS: Shit.

MATT: Sorry.

TRAVIS: Thug Life glasses come down,

joint comes up.

MATT: I didn’t mean

for it to come off that way, it just -

TRAVIS: Bu-bu-bu-bu-blam, gutshot!

(all laugh)

SAM: Play ding dong…

LIAM: It went 18,

it hung like a half second… 4.

MATT: As the surprise round has faded,

the Gilmore-like entity draws the blade

out of your abdomen,

snarls towards you,

and the round begins

with the initiative on the rakshasa.

MARISHA: (groans)

TRAVIS: You got this, you’re fine.

SAM: Wait, refresh us all.

Is Liam - I’m sorry - is Vax naked?

MATT: No, Vax is wearing

a long silk robe -

MATT: - and his boots.

SAM: And what underneath?

MATT: And that’s it.

SAM: So, he’s naked.

LIAM: I’m wearing my boots,

because it’s cold.

I wouldn’t go walking barefoot.

MATT: Boots are a given.

Everything else left behind.

SAM: No armor. No weapons.

LAURA: Remember, he was in his pajamas

and Gilmore was like,

“put this on, I made this for you.”

LIAM: Why wouldn’t any of us

trust Gilmore? Or Matthew?

MATT: I’m just telling a story, yo.

Speaking of stories -

SAM: But wait!

The robe has like a rope tie to tie.

SAM: You can use that for something!

LIAM: Shush!

MATT: You’re reading your book.

So as it draws the blade back,

it goes in for a claw towards the face,

LIAM: Uncanny Dodge?

MATT: Hold on to see if I hit you first.

LIAM: Oh, okay.

MATT: (chuckles) Because

that is going to be a…

MATT: 13 to hit. Your AC is 15.

LIAM: Misses.

MATT: The claw (whoosh).

You duck underneath

as it spins around with the dagger

and hits you from the other side

as you come up from that.

MATT: That will be a 19 and does hit you.

LIAM: (funny voice) Uncanny Dodge?

MATT: You suffer 5 points

of piercing damage

as the dagger just barely (sssh)

cuts across your face.

You can feel the little line of blood

begin to spill down your chin

as you hear the growl

under the breath again,

“I will send you to a place

you’ll never return from.” (growls)

and is actually going to

stay right there. You’re up.

LIAM: Now I can do my crazy-ass shit.

So, out of instinct,

the heels click together, the boots go on,

the world slows down as I speed up

and in that split second,

in a millisecond, I think,

“he’s gone to all this trouble

to get me here,

“the door behind me

could very well be locked.

“Also, he knows everything.

He knows about Whitestone.

“If he leaves, he can tell the Conclave

“and if I run, he’s gone.”

So instead…

he’s right in front of me, yeah?

Okay. I would like to grapple him.

MATT: Okay. All right.

Go ahead and make an athletics check.

LIAM: Okay.

Last luck of the day. 14.

MATT: 16

You attempt to grapple

and as soon as your arms

reach around the rakshasa,

Hotis breaks away.

LIAM: Okay.

That’s action number 1.

Action number 2,

I’d like to grapple him.

(all laugh)

LIAM: No good.

LAURA: Well, say it, he might roll less.

LIAM: Huh? Say what?

LAURA: Isn’t it a roll against a roll?

MATT: Yes, it’s a roll against a roll.

LIAM: It’s a 7.

MATT: 17. Sorry.

LIAM: Okay,

I will cast Lay on Hands on myself.

MATT: That is an action to do so.

LIAM: That’s an action?

Okay, then…

I’ll stay where I am.

MATT: Okay. All right.

LIAM: No, sorry! Sorry, sorry (mutters).

At the top of my lungs I scream,

not just in my earring

but loud enough for every guard

and person in the castle. I scream,

“Assassins, western tower

and the courtyard!

"Jenga!”

MATT: All right.

Can I have all of you guys

roll a perception check?

MARISHA: What about

those of us with earrings?

LAURA: To wake us up?

SAM: I’m awake.

MATT: You’re awake. You hear it.

TRAVIS: 16.

ASHLEY: 17.

LAURA: 26.

MARISHA: 16.

TALIESIN: 15.

MATT: All right.

Many of you jostle awake

at the sound of the shouting

into your ear.

You hear a few words come through

in the middle of your consciousness.

You hear “tower, west, jenga.”

That’s as much as you make out.

The first word was enough

to just shake you awake

and you’re not quite sure

what that word was,

but you hear “west tower, jenga,”

and you get the gist of that.

You, however,

did hear the full phrase.

As you look around you,

Percy, Keyleth, and Pike.

SAM: Oh, shit.

MATT: You aren’t alone in your room.

TRAVIS: (laughing gasp)

MATT: As climbing through the window,

or in Percy’s -

SAM: Ninjas!

MATT: - had come in

through the hallway, you see -

TALIESIN AND MARISHA: Ninjas.

MATT: - cloaked individuals,

blades drawn up in the air,

about to come down

onto your asleep forms,

as you suddenly look up

and see the figure there before you -

MARISHA: Motherfucking ninjas!

MATT: - they look surprised

to see you suddenly move.

I need all of you guys to roll initiative

to add to this initiative order.

TRAVIS: All 3 or everybody else?

LAURA: Everybody?

MATT: Everybody.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

Ooh! That’s not bad.

TRAVIS: Have advantage.

TALIESIN: That’ll do.

TRAVIS: 18.

ASHLEY: 8!

TRAVIS, LAURA, AND MATT: (chuckle)

LAURA: (southern drawl) 11.

MARISHA: 17.

TALIESIN: 23.

LAURA: Nice.

SAM: Is initiative an ability check?

(all laugh)

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: Then I will inspire myself

on my initiative roll.

MARISHA: Yes!

MATT: You just got that ability

at level 14.

SAM: Yes.

MATT: So.

SAM: So I will just say,

“Come on Scanlan.

Wake up! Wake up, man!”

(all laugh)

SAM: Oh, it’s a 1.

(all laugh)

SAM: No, it’s a 7. It’s a 7.

That brings my initiative to 19.

MATT: 19.

(all laugh)

ASHLEY: “Come on, man!”

MATT: All righty.

Well, as you all wake up,

the initiative round finishes

as the attempted assassins

do get their round

on the three of you guys.

So there is the one

that is up against Keyleth right now

is going to make

two short sword attacks on you.

MARISHA: Aw, he beat me?

MATT: Yep. Well this is -

as you guys wake up,

you see them there,

and they’re finishing their combat round.

So that’s going to be a 19 to hit.

MARISHA: Hits.

MATT: That hits.

Okay. You take 9 points

of piercing damage

and make a constitution saving throw.

ASHLEY AND LAURA: Oh, god.

TRAVIS: Shit.

MARISHA: That can’t be good. Okay…

TALIESIN: (wordless noise of approval)

MARISHA: 20, total.

MATT: Okay. You take 12 points

of poison damage.

ASHLEY: With?

MARISHA: On top of I had 9 originally?

MATT: Mm-hm.

MARISHA: Right?

MATT: Yep.

MARISHA: Okay. So that’s…

MATT: The second strike is going to

be another 19. Rolled 12 again.

You take another 9 points

of piercing damage,

and I need you to make

another constitution saving throw.

LAURA: This is so much worse

than I thought it was.

TALIESIN: Goddamn it.

MARISHA: I rolled a natural 19, so 24.

MATT: You take another 12 points

of poison damage.

SAM: How many points?

TALIESIN: Wow, that’s the good reaction,

apparently.

MARISHA: Jesus, fuck.

He just did 42 points of damage.

ASHLEY: What?

MARISHA: In one round. Yeah.

TRAVIS: Four-two? Four?!

MARISHA: 42!

MATT: So, the one

that’s there before you, Percy,

as you’re just sitting up out of your bed.

That’s going to be an -

oh, that’s a natural 17.

24 to hit.

TALIESIN: If I have an AC of 24,

Am I fine or no?

I mean an AC of 24 -

never mind, it hits.

MATT: It still hits you

and and this is assuming also

the fact that that you guys were sleeping

and not in your full armor, either.

TALIESIN: No, no that hits.

No, actually - yeah,

I can’t do that, can I? Fuck.

MATT: That’s 8 points

of piercing damage to you.

TALIESIN: (sighing) Yeah…

MATT: I need you to make

a constitution saving throw

TALIESIN: All right. Don’t be stupid.

Oh, stupid.

That’s a natural 1, that’s what it is.

MATT: You suffer 24 points

of poison damage.

As whereas you manage

to shrug off the effects,

Percy, you feel as the short sword

strikes across your flesh

the wound that’s left open

in the front of your long johns

suddenly begins to burn

and feels like it’s singeing,

white-hot fire,

like an iron just out of the forge

has been pressed into your chest.

The second strike rolls a natural 2.

It’s going to be a 9.

TALIESIN: Nope, that does not hit.

MATT: This time, you actually

duck out of the bed

as it slams down on the wood,

cutting into the side of the bed frame,

ending that guy’s round.

That’s going to bring us

to the one that is against you, Pike.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: So, Pike.

ASHLEY: Yes?

MATT: First strike on you.

That’s going to be a 20 to hit.

ASHLEY: (chuckles) Just hits.

MATT: Though, not wearing your armor

at this point in time.

LAURA: How do we know

what our AC is?

ASHLEY: So what are we, then?

MATT: Your AC would be

just 10 plus your dexterity modifier.

ASHLEY: So it’s 11, so that hits.

MATT: 11. Yeah. You suffer 5 points

of piercing damage

and I need you to make

a constitution saving throw.

ASHLEY: Okay.

20?

MATT: All right, yeah.

So you take 12 points

of poison damage

and that is going to be 10,

so that misses you.

ASHLEY: Great.

MATT: Yeah. So you take

an additional 12 points

of poison damage from the last strike.

ASHLEY: So 5 plus 12?

MATT: Correct. 17 total,

and the second strike goes to hit you

and you actually reach over,

grab your shield which is sitting

on the table by your bed

and just (ping)

knock the blade nearly out of his hand

but deflecting the blow.

That brings us to the top

of the initiative round now.

You guys are all conscious.

Some of you are aware

of the danger you’re currently in.

Percy you’re up first.

What are you doing?

TALIESIN: I do keep my small pistol

under my pillow.

MATT: Of course you do. (laughs)

Yes, you would, Percy.

TALIESIN: I don’t have access, in theory,

to the big gun, the sword,

which are under the bed

and that would require a thing,

and I also don’t have access

to any of the things

I could use to reload it,

but I do have four shots.

MATT: You do.

TALIESIN: Okay. Where’s my room?

MATT: Your room is right here.

TALIESIN: I don’t have a window, do I?

MATT: No, you do not have a window.

Your room is on the inside

TRAVIS: What floor are we on?

MATT: You guys are

on the second major floor of the castle.

The west tower, as you know,

is up this way.

The staircase leads up

and then spirals up to the west tower.

SAM: Do we know how far?

MATT: You haven’t -

you’ve maybe explored there a few times.

It’s between 60 to 70 feet up.

SAM: We’ve not been there,

we’re not familiar with it.

MATT: Percy would be

pretty familiar with it.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I would.

MATT: You guys may have gone there

here and there.

TALIESIN: You’ve seen it.

It’s not that big a castle, to be honest.

MARISHA: So there are windows

that they came through?

They came in the windows?

MATT: These two came in the windows,

this one you’re not sure,

may have come in through other means

or through another window.

MARISHA: Who are you pointing at? Percy’s?

MATT: The one that’s in Percy’s room.

MARISHA: But we have windows.

MATT: Right.

MARISHA: That are open to the outside.

MATT: Yes.

TALIESIN: Is mine

standing against the door?

MATT: Currently, yes.

TALIESIN: I’m going to try

and shoot him through the door

to see if I can blow him out of my room.

TALIESIN: With trick shot. So.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Trick shot

to blow him out of the room,

Let’s… Let’s… Yeah, no,

I’m not adding a sharpshooter

for that, fuck that. First shot.

Oh god, I’m nervous.

(high pitched voice) That’ll do.

It’s 22.

MATT: Yeah, that’ll hit.

They’re only wearing studded leather.

TALIESIN: Okay. Good enough.

MATT: And they’re caught off guard

at how suddenly everyone,

or at least you,

were suddenly conscious.

He was so quiet,

he was so quiet

and yet you still got there

before he could stab you.

TALIESIN: Okay and that’s got

an auto push, I think,

or do I have to roll for push?

MATT: I believe -

TALIESIN: Strength saving throw.

MATT: Yeah. That is going to be

a 5 plus 0, none. No.

So. how much damage is that total?

TALIESIN: That does… sorry.

I was not prepared.

I thought I was going to watch a fight.

MATT: (chuckles)

TALIESIN: I was really prepared for that.

That’s 11 points of piercing damage.

MATT: All right.

And pushes him how far back?

TALIESIN: Once… how many squares?

That’s a good question.

That’s 10 feet directly away.

MATT: (thwoosh) It pushes him

out through the door.

You guys hear this muffled (pshew)

gunshot in the distance

and this slamming sound

of a heavy wooden door hitting stone.

Percy, as you watch, as (boof)

he’s blown through the doorway,

landing into the hallway on his back,

and jumps back to his feet just in time

with his blade still out in front of him.

TALIESIN: I’m going to take

two more shots on him.

The next shot is a Sharpshooter shot.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: -5 to hit.

Yeah, no that’s a 13.

MATT: 13. As you aim this time

and fire for a second time (pshew)

he does see it coming

and ducks out of the way

as it just scoots under his hood,

avoiding his head

and leaving a hole in the fabric

and then (kssh) taking a chunk

out of the stone in the wall behind him.

TALIESIN: Okay, final shot is -

I’m using the head shot

to try and blind him for a round, so…

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: That’s no sharpshooter

because that sucked.

That’s better! 28 to hit.

MATT: That’ll do.

Go ahead and roll damage.

TALIESIN: He needs to roll

a constitution saving throw.

MATT: He rolls a 20 total.

TALIESIN: And that’s against -

I just rolled so terribly…

20. It’s a 19 DC,

so unless that changes

with my new intelligence?

MATT: Yeah so it doesn’t -

it isn’t affected by -

TALIESIN: He just takes 7 points of damage

MATT: It was sharpshooter, wasn’t it?

It’s a +10?

TALIESIN: What?

No, that wasn’t sharpshooter.

I just did the middle one sharpshooter.

MATT: Gotcha. Okay.

7 points piercing damage on that.

(pshew) While the first hit

managed to miss his face,

this one does (whoosh)

scrape across his chin

and cracks a bit of his cheekbone,

but not too much of an impact on him

to actually affect his eyesight.

TALIESIN: I’m going to use

my movement and bonus

to grab at least some of the stuff

that’s under my bed.

Some of my things

and start to put myself together

and steady myself

and I’ll start yelling bloody murder.

MATT: Okay. You guys, at this point,

start hearing the distant echo

of Percy’s voice

screaming in the distance.

TALIESIN: Intruders! Intruders!

MATT: At the end of Percy’s turn,

that now brings us back

to the rakshasa,

which is narrowed down.

Takes the dagger and as a bonus

dips it back into the sheath,

pulling it out

with the liquid trailing off of it.

It’s going to go in

and attempt to claw and strike.

ASHLEY: No…

MATT: That’s going to be

a 23 with the claw.

LIAM: Yep.

MATT: You take 10 points

of slashing damage.

LIAM: Where did my thing go?

LAURA: Here take it, I’m sorry.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: And then the dagger

is also going to be thrust back at you

as it moves this way,

getting between you and the door.

That strike is going to be a 21 to hit.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: All right.

This time with the dagger.

That’s going to be 4 plus…

that’s going to be…

LIAM: Uncanny Dodge on it.

MATT: 7 points of piercing damage

and then I need you to make

a constitution saving throw.

LIAM: 20, natural 20.

LAURA: (happy grunting noise)

EVERYONE BUT MATT AND LIAM:

(groans in relief)

LIAM: There was some damage, though.

It was what?

MATT: An additional 7 points

of poison damage.

You used Uncanny Dodge on this.

That all gets reduced to just 7 total.

LIAM: I did use Uncanny Dodge.

MATT: So it would’ve been 14 total.

You take it down to 7.

LIAM: I lost track of what was what.

MATT: Sorry. 7 points of piercing

and 7 points of poison

together would be 14.

Your Uncanny Dodge brings it down to 7.

So you just take 7 points of damage

that round.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: All right.

That will end Hotis’s turn.

That brings us to Scanlan.

SAM: Okay. I’ll use, I guess,

some movement

to gather my belongings

and anything that I don’t still have on.

MATT: I mean, everything that you have

would also include your armor,

which you can’t really put on right now.

It would take you

about a minute to put it on,

as it is leather armor,

but you can grab everything else

if you wanted to.

Or you could carry your armor

awkwardly with you.

SAM: I’ll just grab

a couple of instruments.

MATT: Okay. (grabbing sound)

You gather some things.

SAM: And go. I’ll grab

the shawm and the Mythcarver.

MATT: Okay. (grabbing noises)

SAM: And if I’ve ever been up there,

I’m going to try to Dimension Door

to the west tower.

MATT: Okay. All righty.

SAM: I don’t know

if I’m familiar enough with it,

but I’ll give it a shot.

MATT: All right.

You would’ve walked

through the castle

at some point in the past.

You grab your things.

ASHLEY: I’ve been there with you.

SAM: What did we do up there?

TRAVIS: Made out.

ASHLEY: Like just so much stuff there,

so we’ve totally been there.

TRAVIS: Under the moonlight.

SAM: Did you have hickies afterward,

or something?

SAM AND TRAVIS: (laugh)

SAM: Oh, it worked!

MATT: At the distance it is at that point

and plus the fact

that you have been there before,

you concentrate,

you remember a few nights

you walked up there

to look over the grounds

because it’s a beautiful view

and it’s close to where you guys

usually stay here in the castle.

(zoopf) You come out

of the Dimension Door

and looking before you,

you can see Gilmore

holding a dagger out to one side

and Vax bleeding,

holding and clutching

the front of his abdomen,

eyes darting around wildly,

trying to think of some sort of plan

for survival.

So that’s your action,

that’s most of your movement…

SAM: That’s - I mean,

that’s pretty much all I’ve got.

I imagine

I would be pretty confused, so -

MATT: Yeah, you’re taking

in the circumstances.

SAM: I will probably just,

if I have any time left, I’ll just say,

“What the fuck is going on, Gilmore?”

And that’s it.

MATT: The Gilmore looks over his shoulder

and sneers at you. (hissing growl)

SAM: Oh, shit.

(all laugh)

MATT: Grog, you’re up.

TRAVIS: I spring out of my bed

because I don’t sleep with any armor on,

I got all me bits on me,

and I grab my axe

and I kick the door open!

MATT: (boof)

TRAVIS: Because I know jenga.

It’s one of my favorite words. I’m like,

(wordless aggressive sounds)

Is there anybody in the hallway?

MATT: There’s nobody in the hallway.

LAURA: No no no.

I thought the gunman was in the hallway?

MATT: Hmm?

LAURA: Percy’s gunman was in the hallway.

MATT: Grog is sleeping

in this side of the hallway.

LAURA: Oh, shit!

TALIESIN: Oh.

TRAVIS: Where are the stairs?

MATT: Around that way.

TRAVIS: Fucking shit!

So I start tearing down the hallway

as far as me little legs can carry me.

MATT: About there

if you want to take a dash.

TRAVIS: I’ll dash.

MATT: That’s your movement

and your dash, your action.

You get to there as you come around

and see a guy in full black cloak

and some bullets (tssh) flying by,

shattering the stonework behind.

And then you see this humanoid character

holding a short sword at his side,

growling.

He sees you looming down the hallway

and his eyes go wide for a moment,

unexpected to see this giant train

of a muscled entity charging down.

TRAVIS: And the dash

was my bonus action right?

MATT: No, the dash is your action.

TRAVIS: So I have a bonus?

MATT: You have a bonus, yes.

TRAVIS: Can I look down and say,

“Hello, muppet.”

And I would like to rage.

(all laugh)

MATT: All righty.

LIAM: Golf clap.

LAURA: Golf clap.

MARISHA: Good play, good play.

TRAVIS: Polite as fuck.

MATT: Keyleth, you’re up.

MARISHA: Okay.

So this guy is by the door, yeah?

Or by the window?

MATT: Mm-hm.

MARISHA: How far away from the window?

Like, is his back up against the window?

MATT: Like - like basically just

stepped out of the window

and you were immediately next to it,

so the window is right to his left

as he’s staring down at you

with a blade in the air.

MARISHA: It’s an open window.

MATT: Yes.

MARISHA: Bars on it or something?

LAURA: He came in.

MATT: It looks like the window

is easy enough

for somebody to slip through.

It’s an open window.

MARISHA: Okay.

TALIESIN: It’s a nice neighborhood.

There’s no bars on the windows.

MARISHA: I’m trying to think

which way I want to go with this.

MATT: Make it quick.

MARISHA: I’m going to towards him

do a Thunderwave push (boof)

and try and push him out the window.

Thunderwave.

MATT: So you’re going

to move around him first?

MARISHA: Oh, does he have me

up against the window?

MATT: You’re up against the wall.

If you want to Thunderwave him,

you’d have to get

on the other side of him

to knock him away from you.

MARISHA: And he’ll get

an attack of opportunity, I’m assuming?

MATT: No, because you

don’t leave his combat.

MARISHA: Oh. Okay, yeah,

I’ll just shoulder around him.

MATT: You dart off the edge of the bed,

catching yourself on the ground,

turn around the other side and (boof).

What’s the DC on that?

MARISHA: Jesus, I don’t know.

I don’t do this very often.

MATT: (singsong) DC of Thunderwave.

Vax, you’re up next, prepare.

MARISHA: It is

a constitution saving throw.

MATT: And what’s your spell DC?

MARISHA: 19.

MATT: That is a 9 + 2, 11.

That’s not enough.

How much damage does he take?

MARISHA: He takes 2d8 damage

and he is pushed 10 feet.

MATT: All righty.

MARISHA: Hopefully out the window

because that’s what I was going for.

TALIESIN: It’s a small room.

MARISHA: That was cocked. 4 damage.

MATT: 4 points of thunder damage.

However, (boomf) it slams him back.

His feet hit the edge

of the the lip of the window.

He goes flipping backwards

out the side.

He’s going to attempt

to reach out and grab it.

TRAVIS: Please fail.

MATT: That is a natural 2.

(all cheer)

MATT: (thwoop) You hear,

“Nooo!”

ASHLEY: Yes!

MATT: As he’s flung out the window.

You don’t even hear the landing,

he’s just out of the room now.

TALIESIN: Full on Wilhelm scream.

TRAVIS: Nice. Nice job.

TALIESIN: (imitates Wilhelm scream)

LIAM: How about a Howard Dean?

MARISHA: And then I’m going to take just -

MATT: You have a few more…

15 more feet you can run, if you want to.

MARISHA: Okay.

I’m going to throw open the door

and just peek out the door

and see what’s up.

MATT: Okay, you throw the door open.

Immediately out,

you see Grog standing in the hallway

clutching the axe,

kind of sleepy-eyed, but filled

with hatred and intent to kill,

while grinning

in the center of the hallway.

MARISHA: And then I’m going

to come over my comm and just say,

“Status report, where is everybody?”

And that’s it.

MATT: Okay, after Keyleth’s turn,

that brings us to Vax.

LIAM: I can’t see

through the corner of the wall there.

Is Scanlan like 10 feet away?

5 feet away?

MATT: Scanlan is 10 feet from you.

LIAM: All right.

I’m going to skirt along on his side,

the rakshasa’s side, and shout out,

“It’s not Gilmore,

it’s a fucking demon!”

at Scanlan, and then

I’m going to use my first action

to try to disarm kitty-cat.

MARISHA: Meow.

MATT: Okay. All right.

LIAM: What is that?

TRAVIS: Disarm him?

MATT: Go ahead and make…

go ahead and make an attack roll -

or no, for this one,

let’s make an athletics check to try.

It’s essentially a type of grapple.

LIAM: All right.

Uh, 16.

MATT: 16.

Okay, you reach out

and manage to grab the Gilmore’s wrist,

holding the dagger.

His arm goes up

and starts clawing these fingernails,

these currently

not-even-visible fingernails

that all of a sudden

turn into these large hooks

that start tearing into your skin.

Go ahead and make a strength check

to see if you can

wrestle the blade from his grasp.

LIAM: And this is the next action?

MATT: This would be the next action, yeah.

Since you don’t have

any disarm-based abilities,

this is a more involved -

LIAM: 15. That’s still acrobatics, right?

MATT: No no no, this -

LIAM: What’d you say?

MATT: This is all athletics.

LIAM: This is athletics.

Same thing, sorry, yeah. 15.

MATT: Yeah, 15?

LIAM: 15.

MATT: You still have the grip on him,

but unfortunately his fingers

are too tight on the blade

and you can’t quite pull it out.

LIAM: Okay, then,

for the rest of my turn,

I whip my head to Scanlan, say,

“Follow me down. I’m going down.”

And I want to drag him

off the balcony, and go with him.

MATT: Okay,

you can drag him at half-speed -

LIAM: Half-speed. I’m hasted.

MATT: Hasted.

LIAM: 12 squares, full.

MATT: (fwwsh)

(all shout)

MATT: You watch, Sam,

as he grabs

this apparently Gilmore character,

looks at you, tells you this,

and then they both just hit the edge

and tumble over the side of the balcony

and go falling off.

LIAM: This takes two seconds to go down.

I looked it up. 80 feet is two seconds.

MATT: Yep. (whoosh whoosh boomf)

You hear two impacts.

SAM: But I just got here!

Don’t leave!

MATT: Both you and Hotis…

36 points of damage

as you both (boomf)

hit the bottom, this stone surface,

essentially the ceiling

and the beginnings

of the entire castle here on the top,

both prone on the ground,

dazed from the impact.

LIAM: Really hoping the guards are awake.

LAURA: Really hoping.

MATT: All righty. Ending your turn,

that brings us to the assassins. So -

ASHLEY: But we didn’t -

LAURA: But we didn’t get to go.

LAURA: Do assassins get to go twice?

MATT: No, you guys go after them

because that

was how the initiative order happened.

LAURA: (biting noise)

TRAVIS: Yep.

LIAM: That was 3 points of damage.

MATT: Him yelling and waking you guys up

avoided them getting an auto-crit

on their first attack.

LAURA: Oh, shit.

TRAVIS: Oh, god.

MATT: So be happy that

at least you woke up for the last round.

LAURA: That’s good, that’s good.

ASHLEY: I’m happy, I’m happy.

TALIESIN: Thank you, Matt.

LIAM: So happy! Happy.

MATT: Happy.

TRAVIS: Thanks, Matt.

MATT: So that’s two strikes

against you, Pike,

and then this one here

looks over the shoulder

and sees you, Grog,

and is going to start darting this way…

and currently is out of sight.

MARISHA: The assassin doucher?

MATT: Yep.

MATT: The one that’s attacking you, Pike -

LIAM: I assume what I said to Scanlan

was heard over earring as well.

MATT: Most likely, yeah.

That’ll be a 22.

ASHLEY: Well, yes.

(all laugh)

MATT: You take 7 points

of piercing damage,

and roll

another constitution saving throw.

ASHLEY: 7 points?

MATT: Yep.

ASHLEY: Okay. That’s fine. 7 points.

MATT: And roll

a constitution saving throw when you can.

The second strike, this time,

you slam his hand with the shield

and you can see

he actually drops the blade

and has to rush over to pick it up.

ASHLEY: 13?

MATT: 13. You suffer 24 points

of poison damage

as the first strike this time

cuts you right across the clavicle

and down to the front of your chest,

and it’s just, that sharp burning pain

for a second

and as you knock the other hit away,

all of a sudden you feel the (oomf oomf).

Your ears fill with bright,

burning-hot warmth

and all of sudden

the pain from your wound

begins to pulse with every heartbeat

as the poison hits your system.

ASHLEY: Nice. Okay.

MATT: And he’s going to move this way

to start getting between you

and the doorway.

That’s going to end their turns.

Vex, you’re up.

LAURA: Okay. I’m going to get up,

I’m going to yell at Trinket

to run out the door,

and I’m going to grab my arrows

and my quiver and my broom.

MATT: Trinket’s going into a full -

we’ll say he can do a full dash.

LAURA: Can he get to the guy?

MATT: He’s gotten that far

up the hallway.

He doesn’t see anybody yet.

You grab your stuff. All right.

That’ll be an action to

get all of your things together.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Your quiver, your arrows…

LAURA: The broom.

MATT: The broom.

LAURA: And I take off running

to the west tower.

So we don’t see the guy

outside of Percy’s room?

MATT: Nope.

That’s as far as you get, there.

Cool. That ends Vex’s turn.

Pike, you’re up.

ASHLEY: Okay. So, I’m going to

take out my hand,

and I’m going to Guiding Bolt him.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Take out your hand?

TRAVIS: I’m going to take out my hand!

ASHLEY: My trusty old hand.

MATT: The wound across your chest

with the pulsing poison,

suddenly the area that was once dark

begins to light up

as the holy symbol that forever hangs

around your neck

begins to glow

with vibrant divine energy,

this whitish-yellow pulse of light.

The assassin, standing there grinning,

seeing that he’s getting the upper hand,

all of a sudden realizes

that you aren’t as disarmed

as he thought you were.

Go ahead and roll for the attack on this.

TRAVIS: Smoke him!

ASHLEY: 28.

MATT: That’ll hit.

Go ahead and roll damage on that.

What level were you casting it at?

ASHLEY: I’m going to do it at 4.

MATT: Usually you decide that

before you roll the attack, but yeah.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TRAVIS: Puddins, Pike.

ASHLEY: I was going to.

That’s what I was going to do.

MATT: I assumed you were.

That’s fine.

ASHLEY: But I didn’t tell you that.

How many do I roll?

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

MATT: Let me look it up for you.

Guiding Bolt is 4d6 -

ASHLEY: 7, right?

MATT: - and then it would be

an additional 3d6

for 7d6 radiant damage against him.

ASHLEY: Yeah, 7, okay.

Okay, so.

TRAVIS: Yep, 8.

ASHLEY: 8.

TRAVIS: 11, 19.

TRAVIS: 7, 26.

LAURA: One more.

ASHLEY: What was it?

TRAVIS: 27.

ASHLEY: 27 points.

MATT: 27 points, nice.

You see his eyes widen

as suddenly you blast him in the face

with this Guiding Bolt.

The impact just (boof)

bursting across him,

leaving this trail of divine fire

that’s burning around the seams

of his leather armor.

He’s trying to pat it out,

but it won’t go out.

While it’s not burning him,

it’s lighting him up

like a Christmas tree,

and Grog, you see -

from underneath Pike’s door,

you see a little bit

of a bright divine glow

flash out from under the door

and you hear a couple thumps

against the wood from inside the room.

TRAVIS: And that’s her,

the one to the right of me?

LAURA: Yeah, which ones

are everybody’s rooms?

MATT: This is Vex’s room,

Keyleth’s, Pike’s, Percy -

SAM: The one that smells like patchouli

is mine.

MATT: Yeah. Scanlan’s and Grog’s

and Vax’s were over here.

LAURA: Okay.

ASHLEY: So can I move

out of the room?

MATT: You can try to, yeah.

ASHLEY: I grabbed all my stuff

and then I’m going to make my way out.

MATT: Okay, all your stuff would be -

You have your shield already

that you pulled off the side.

You can grab maybe one weapon and go.

You’re not going to get armor, though.

ASHLEY: I’ll grab my mace.

MATT: So you grab your mace, all right.

LIAM: You’re in a slip or nothing, so.

ASHLEY: I sleep naked.

TRAVIS: Thatta girl!

SAM: So you’re naked

with a shield and a mace.

TRAVIS: That’s a bad bitch.

LAURA: Hell yeah, she is.

LIAM: Monster!

MATT: Shield, mace, holy symbol -

ASHLEY: Do I have my gauntlets on or no?

MATT: Nothing else.

Yeah, your gauntlets are on.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: We’ll say the gauntlets were there,

you slip them on real fast.

As he’s pulled back

and trying to pat out the flames,

you grab your things and rush through.

He does get

an attack of opportunity on you

as you run out of his combat range,

so he’s going to swing at you.

MATT: That is going to be a 16.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: That does hit.

With your shield, what’s your AC?

It would be 11-13, so yeah, it still hits.

So you take 5 points

of piercing damage.

I need you to roll

another constitution saving throw.

SAM: Man. Pikey.

ASHLEY: That is a 5?

MATT: You take another 24

of poison damage.

SAM: Oh my gosh, she going to die.

LAURA: Oh, no!

ASHLEY: No no no, I don’t think

I’m uncon - wait, 24 points?

ASHLEY: I got one hit point left.

SAM: How did that happen so fast?

LAURA: She took 24 twice!

TRAVIS: Poison sucks.

MATT: Assassins, man.

SAM: What are these assassins?

MARISHA: Bullshit.

LIAM: Heal and run, heal and run,

heal and run.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: All righty.

TRAVIS: Does she burst out in the hallway

naked with a mace and a shield?

MATT: Naked with a mace and shield,

glowing holy symbol,

and just gash across her chest,

blood pouring from the wound.

LAURA: Oh, Pike!

MATT: Sweat on her brow,

one eye’s half-closed.

MATT: She’s barely standing.

SAM: And weirdly hairy shoulders.

(all laugh)

LIAM: That’s why

I never take the armor off, guys.

MARISHA: No!

ASHLEY: And hairy chest.

Just full hairy chest.

MATT: Ending Pike’s turn.

SAM: Oh, god. I never knew.

MATT: Percy, you’re up.

LIAM: Still love me, Scanlan?

TALIESIN: I’m going to run out of my -

I’m grabbing just the basics.

Gloves and the gunbelt

and my gun stuff. No armor.

SAM: Gun stuff.

TALIESIN: No amulet.

Running out in the front, what do I -

MATT: Amulet, you would probably -

you don’t need to take that off to sleep,

so I’ll let you have that.

TALIESIN: Okay, so fine,

I’ll just have that.

All right, so no armor, so.

TALIESIN: Which direction is the west?

MATT: This way.

TALIESIN: It’s this way,

and do I see any, I don’t see what -

MATT: You don’t see anyone,

you just see Pike burst out

of her room suddenly, bloodied.

TALIESIN: Okay, I’m going to

run past her room towards the west,

and do I have a view right there?

MATT: You now have a view of a guy

beaming with divine light,

trying to pat out divine flames

after swinging

and getting a nice heavy wound on Pike,

who looks like she’s barely standing.

TALIESIN: Okay,

I’m going to take a couple -

LIAM: Fuck him up. Fuck him up.

TRAVIS: If he takes care of you, though…

TALIESIN: I get one foot, stop,

turn around.

I draw my sword and I’m just going to

go stabby on the bastard

because I haven’t reloaded my gun yet.

TRAVIS: That was in Pike’s room?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Good, okay.

TALIESIN: I can get there.

MATT: This is the end

of your movement.

TALIESIN: Oh, right there? Okay.

Then fine, I’ll just unload the gun.

That’ll be fun.

MATT: So you have a fourth shot.

TALIESIN: I have a fourth shot

and then another one, yeah.

MATT: Okay. Regular shot?

TALIESIN: No, sharpshooter.

MATT: Sharpshooter, okay.

You have advantage on this shot,

by the way,

because of the Guiding Bolt

that she did to him.

SAM: Ooh!

TALIESIN: Oh, I do?

MATT: Yeah, because the divine fire

that’s surrounding him

is lighting him up

like a giant birthday candle.

TALIESIN: All right, that’ll be 28 to hit.

MATT: That’ll hit.

MATT: Go ahead

and roll damage on that one.

SAM: Hashtag gun stuff.

LIAM: Quentin Tarantino joined.

TALIESIN: 22 points of damage.

LIAM AND MARISHA: Gun stuff.

MATT: (gunshot sound)

The Guiding Bolt flares off.

The impact hits him

and sends him on his back foot.

He looks over and sees

the smoke pouring out of the barrel

as you’re aiming down for another shot.

You reload real fast.

TALIESIN: Taking another shot at him.

MATT: Go for it.

TALIESIN: Advantage?

MATT: No, that was just the first one.

TALIESIN: That’s okay,

I still rolled really great.

(all laugh)

ASHLEY: That’s okay, I still rolled well.

TALIESIN: I was hoping for a critical,

but whatever.

LAURA: Yeah, I’m not going to need it.

ASHLEY: Fucking nailed it.

MATT: Just wanted to check.

TALIESIN: 25 to hit.

MATT: The dungeon master

will remember this.

No, it’s fine.

So go ahead and roll damage.

Sharpshooter as well?

TALIESIN: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was…

24 points of damage.

MATT: 24 points of damage…

(gunshot) The second shot.

You reload, fire again.

This time this one hits him

right square in what looks like

the side of his jaw,

shattered his cheekbone and his jaw

and there’s now blood and teeth

pouring out

and he’s clutching the side of it,

shaking his head.

He’s in a really bad place right now

and is looking over the back window,

realizing he’s probably going to -

TALIESIN: Fuck it, let’s burn

an Action Surge. This’ll be funny.

LAURA: Percy tastes blood.

TALIESIN: That’s, 16, 17, 18, 19… 25?

MATT: That hits.

ASHLEY: Get him!

TALIESIN: That’s 19 points of damage?

MATT: With that, as he’s turning around,

about to dart towards the window,

as he spins around in his space,

you take aim a second,

or now a third time on him, fire…

You watch. It’s obscured to see;

all you see is the moonlight

from the outside sky coming through

and the silhouette of his head,

and now the missing silhouette

of his head -

as you scatter the top half of his skull

across the stone

surrounding the window in Pike’s room.

ASHLEY: Thanks, Percy.

TALIESIN: I reload.

ASHLEY: I had him, but thanks.

TALIESIN: I drop a health potion

and then steady to take care of that

and reload my guns

with the rest of my turn.

MATT: Okay. Good to know.

All right. Ending Percy’s turn,

you’re currently on the ground now,

you’re both prone.

Hotis stands up,

using half of his movement,

looks down at you,

“You’re clever.”

Which, for the record,

the illusion has faded.

The Gilmore visage is no more.

Now you see before you the angry,

curled bare-teeth face

of the familiar rakshasa.

“The feeling’s mutual.”

As you are currently

prone on the ground,

it has advantage on you.

It’s going to go ahead and…

make two strikes

with the dagger against you.

With advantage,

yeah, that’ll be 25?

LIAM: He didn’t redip, though.

I don’t remember you saying

he redipped, right?

He used his poison last time

and I made the save?

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: Right? Okay.

LIAM: So that hits. Uncanny Dodge?

MATT: Right. So the first one hits.

MATT: You take…

10 points of piercing damage. No poison.

ASHLEY: I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

Sorry, I’m nervously playing with it.

LIAM: Sorry. One more time?

MATT: 10 points of piercing damage.

LIAM: Yes.

MATT: He’s going to dip the blade,

remembering that he forgot that

after the first strike.

Then with the second strike

he’s going to stab down once more.

LIAM: That’s just a bonus to do that?

MATT: Yeah. That’s going to be a 21.

You suffer 11 points

of piercing damage.

Plus 10 points of poison damage.

LAURA: No more!

LIAM: I’m unconscious.

MATT: Unconscious.

So as you get up,

he just stabs and stabs again,

and this time as your finger’s extended

the pain hits you

and you just watch your vision

fade to darkness.

LAURA: No.

MATT: That’s the end of his turn.

He has no more attacks,

so he just watches you go limp.

LIAM: For my turn, I’ll be dead.

LAURA: No.

MATT: All right.

Well, Scanlan, you’re up first.

SAM: I go to the ledge and look over.

MATT: Yeah, you look over the ledge,

down about 70 feet,

80 feet on the stonework,

you see and watch as the rakshasa,

now fully visible, Gilmore visage gone,

jams the blade twice

into the currently laid-out back of Vax,

as the back’s body goes limp,

unconscious.

Drawing the blade, chuckling,

throwing it up in the air, catching it,

and is preparing to go down

for some finishing blows.

SAM: Okay, shit.

My stuff doesn’t go that far, does it?

Any of my vocal spells, only goes 60 -

MATT: Only about 60 feet, yeah.

SAM: Yeah, fuck. All right.

Well then, for my action-slash-attack,

I, overcome with fury

seeing my friend on the ground,

pull out Mythcarver

and just fucking jump and plunge.

LAURA: Oh my god!

TALIESIN: Yes!

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Yes yes yes.

MATT: So you leap, (shhh) -

SAM: And I have advantage

because I’ve inspired myself.

(all laugh)

MATT: I’ll say for the purposes

of this action,

you will have advantage

on the strike, as -

SAM: But I’m also exhausted.

MATT: Right, but that doesn’t affect

your actual attack roll.

That’s more your ability check.

Actually, you should have

had disadvantage earlier for that.

SAM: I rolled twice for that.

MATT: Oh, you did? Okay, good.

MATT: So as you come down, quiet.

Currently overcome with the now

possibility of vengeance before it,

the rakshasa does not seem

to notice you

as you fall off silently, blade down,

(whoosh) wind rushing past your face,

the tunnel-vision before you

as you can see

this whole scene play out before you.

The blade comes down, slamming.

Go ahead and roll with advantage

your attack against the rakshasa.

SAM: 14. 15. Plus I don’t know what!

I don’t do these things!

TRAVIS: I’ve never hit!

SAM: Strength? Is that strength?

MATT: It should be written on your attack.

It would be

your proficiency bonus plus your -

SAM: Oh, it’s +8.

MATT: Yeah, so.

SAM: That’s a 23.

TALIESIN: 23.

MATT: 23 definitely hits.

TRAVIS: Nice.

SAM: Okay.

ASHLEY: Nicely done!

SAM: I don’t know what to do now.

I roll a d8?

MATT: Go ahead and roll your d8

plus damage.

SAM: Okay. 8 + 3, so that’s 11.

Plus 1d6 force damage. 6! Holy shit!

(all laugh)

TALIESIN: This is happening.

This is happening.

SAM: So that’s 11, that’s 17. Right?

MATT: 17?

SAM: Okay.

MATT: I’m adding to that attack

half of the damage you take from the fall.

Because of the force

of yourself and the blade.

So the damage

you take from the fall…

TRAVIS: I don’t know

what that expression was.

LAURA: Yeah, I know,

is that good or bad? Both?

TALIESIN: It’s either a lot or a little.

MATT: 29 points of damage you suffer,

slamming into the ground

and falling prone from the attack.

But he does suffer

an additional 14 points of damage

as the blade (sssh) just sinks

into the shoulder and the torso

and he tenses in pain

as the blade is still jammed

into his form.

You let go of it

as you slam into the ground

and he draws it out with a spurt of blood

and throws it to the ground angrily,

spinning around towards you,

still holding the dagger aloft,

looking over.

SAM: Do I still get my bonus action?

MATT: You do, technically, yeah.

SAM: Okay, so I, on the ground,

turn over to Vax

and I’ll bonus Healing Word him.

LAURA: Oh, thank god.

SAM: And I will sing with whatever wind

I have left in my body,

“(singing) Vax’ildan,

you’re going to put up a good fight,

"Vax’ildan,

I need you to put up a good fight.

"Put up a good fight!

Put up a good fight!”

TRAVIS: (laughing) Is that “Roxanne?”

SAM: That’s “Roxanne.”

(all laugh)

TRAVIS: I couldn’t even join in

because it was so good.

LIAM: So in love with you right now.

So in love with you.

SAM: 4! I’m rolling great!

Plus 5. So you have 9 hit points!

MATT: So you come back to consciousness

face-down on the ground,

scattered out on the stonework

and the last thing,

as your eyes come open,

you hear the gentle tunes

of Scanlan’s voice

calling you back from the darkness.

You glance out the corner of your eye

and see that Hotis is still standing

with the dagger up on top.

LIAM: It was just my turn

in the initiative. Can I go?

MATT: No, your turn’s not yet.

We have Grog, Keyleth, and then you.

They actually got initiative

higher than you, so.

LIAM: Oh, okay, okay.

MATT: We’re coming to you, don’t worry.

So your turn hasn’t happened yet.

LIAM: Okay. I totally -

I trust in you, Matt.

MATT: All righty.

LIAM: And fear you.

MATT: Good.

All right, that brings us to…

Grog, you’re up.

TRAVIS: So I heard him say,

“I’m going down,” right?

We all heard him say

he’s going down as he was falling?

MATT: Roll an intelligence check.

SAM: Oh, boy.

TRAVIS: This’ll be great. Ah! 18 minus…

(all laugh)

TRAVIS: Minus 2. 16.

MATT: 16. It takes you a moment,

and you have to bite your tongue

for a moment

as you’re running down the hallway,

but you ascertain that probably means…

It’s a tower,

Probably jumped off the tower!

TRAVIS: Yeah, probably.

I look out and I say,

“Oh, Pike,

you’re in your birthday suit!

"Are you all right?”

ASHLEY: Yeah, I’m fine,

I’m fine, I’m fine.

SAM: She’s bleeding all over.

ASHLEY: Wait, did I take -

I took a potion on the -

MATT: Well, he had the potion

on the ground.

TALIESIN: I threw you a minor.

It’s not much.

ASHLEY: I’m going to be fine,

I’m going to be fine.

TRAVIS: Okay.

Is there a window in the hallway?

My question is,

is the courtyard through those windows?

MATT: The courtyard

would be over here, actually.

TRAVIS: Right. Is there -

MARISHA: In relation to where we are?

MATT: This is no longer

really part of the deal,

so in relation to where you guys are,

they’re about here.

TRAVIS: Do all of the rooms have windows,

or is there a window in the hallway?

MATT: All of the rooms that have windows

are the ones on that side,

so currently the only way to get here

would be to travel

back where you came from

and find an exit out to the top of the -

TRAVIS: Fucking ass.

MARISHA: I was going to

try and handle that.

TALIESIN: Do those stairs go

to the west tower, by the way?

MATT: These stairs go

to the west tower, yes.

TALIESIN: Cool, just checking.

TRAVIS: Can I hold my…

turn until Keyleth goes?

MATT: All right.

You can still move, though,

if you want to.

TRAVIS: I will - where are you?

MARISHA: I’m right behind you.

In the room, in the door behind you.

TRAVIS: Yeah, but I can go back in.

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: I should just stay there

if you’re going to make a door.

MARISHA: Hey, Grog!

TRAVIS: What?

MARISHA: You want to jump

from really high?

TRAVIS: Yeah. I just want out.

MARISHA: All right.

TRAVIS: So I’ll hold until Keyleth goes,

and I won’t move.

I’ll stay there,

because she’s right beside -

MATT: What action are you holding?

TRAVIS: I will hold my… movement.

MATT: Well, no, I mean, the movement

gets used in your turn regardless.

You just choose what action

you want to hold as a trigger,

so if something’s going to happen,

you would then use

whatever your action is.

Your movement you have to use now,

or it’s lost.

TRAVIS: I have to choose

what she’s going to do? I’m so confused.

LAURA: Well, you won’t be able to move

once she goes.

You won’t be able to do an action

because you’re trapping yourself.

TALIESIN: It’s like,

“I’m holding everything

"until she makes a door.”

MATT: Your impulse hit now

and if you decide not to move,

then the impulse

loses the movement, so.

TRAVIS: I don’t know.

I don’t know what to say, I -

SAM: Yeah, you can’t really do anything.

TRAVIS: Yeah. I don’t move.

MARISHA: He’s just holding his action -

TRAVIS: I decide to stand still.

SAM: Yeah, but just to get

through this portal,

he’s going to have to move.

It’s a whole other turn.

TRAVIS: Otherwise,

I’m running down a hallway for no reason.

I just don’t move.

I just stand there dumbfounded

that Pike is naked and cut to shit.

MATT: Okay. That ends Grog’s turn.

You’re up.

MARISHA: Okay. I’m going to reach over,

put on my circlet in my nightgown.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: And I’m going to step out,

look left and right.

Okay. And then,

going off what Grog was saying,

I’m going to walk behind Grog

and I’m going to do Stone Shape.

I’m going to blast a door into that wall,

blast a giant hole. Yeah.

MATT: All right. (boof)

As you tear this wall open there -

MARISHA: Yeah, dude. Yeah.

LAURA: Awesome.

MATT: - it opens up before you

and you can see a little bit of it

gets pushed to the side,

because it’s a little bit elevated

from the the roof area,

but you force it upward

to where it bursts open

and creates a slight ramp

that leads up

to what would be the roof

of this part of Whitestone Castle.

MARISHA: Okay. Cool. And then I’ll -

Can I see Pike from where I am?

MATT: You can, yes.

MARISHA: I’m going to look at her

and give her a Healing Word,

just a level 1 Healing Word.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: You are going to heal -

ASHLEY: Thanks, pal.

MARISHA: Oh, it’s not great.

Sorry.

MARISHA: So 7 points.

ASHLEY: I’ll take it.

MATT: All right.

You still have a little bit of movement

if you want to use it.

MARISHA: I’ll step back a little bit

out of Grog’s way.

MATT: Okay. There you go.

MARISHA: Not that, back towards you.

MATT: Okay, got you.

So it’d be there, probably,

far as you can get.

MARISHA: Sure, yeah.

So he can get by.

MATT: All right, cool.

That brings us to Vax. Your turn.

MARISHA: Oh, Grog.

TRAVIS: No, but I can’t do anything.

MARISHA: You can’t do anything?

MARISHA: Oh, I thought he held -

MATT: You didn’t say

you were holding an action for anything.

TRAVIS: I wanted to move through the door

once she made it.

MATT: I’ll let you do it.

You’re generally not supposed to do -

TRAVIS: What do I say, I hold a dash?

Or a hold a movement?

MATT: Say you hold a dash.

You could do that, yeah.

TRAVIS: Oh, okay.

I would like to hold a dash.

MATT: Okay. So yeah,

then you just go ahead and -

TRAVIS: We’re still learning.

TALIESIN: You can hold a dash

for Keyleth’s turn.

TALIESIN AND TRAVIS:

Hold a dash for Keyleth’s turn.

TALIESIN: And then she moves

and then you go.

TRAVIS: I didn’t do my homework.

MATT: So as Keyleth opens the window,

you dash up and rush onto the rooftop,

and there you can see

across the way…

MARISHA: I give him a good-game

smack on the ass as he runs by.

SAM: Naked ass.

LAURA: He’s got his normal clothes on.

LIAM: Always naked.

TALIESIN: He’s naked.

LAURA: We’re all naked.

TRAVIS: Well, I only sleep naked

in the lady-favors house.

LIAM: Question.

Grabbing a weapon off the ground,

that’s a freebie, right?

Is that a bonus action?

I feel like that’s - I think that’s free?

MATT: As part of an action,

you can pick it -

LIAM: Part of an action?

All right, great.

I’m going to thank the Raven Queen

for my family

and cast Lay on Hands on myself,

take back 5 hit points.

I see Mythcarver on the ground.

I’m going to grab it

and use my movement to stand,

and I also noticed

that we’re flanking Hotis,

so I’m going to sneak-attack

the motherfucker up the back.

MATT: All right. Just as a note,

the way that the bonus attack works -

well, this is with your haste ability.

LIAM: Yeah, I’m hasted.

The bonus action was -

Oh, no, the action, right.

The action was the spell.

MATT: The haste would’ve faded

once you went unconscious.

LIAM: Oh, okay. That’s okay.

I have one action still.

MATT: Well, you have an action,

and then you have your offhand strike.

Offhand strike works

as part of the attack action.

If you use your action for anything else,

you don’t get the bonus attack.

MARISHA: So is picking something up

not a free action?

I thought picking up a weapon

was a free action.

MATT: It’s part of an action.

Don’t worry about it.

It’s fine, let’s do it.

LIAM: I didn’t even -

no no no, do it the real way, man.

I don’t want any mulligans.

MATT: No, the idea would be,

you don’t get a free bonus attack

with any other action.

It’s whatever you’re attacking,

you then get to throw this in this way.

LIAM: Well, let me ask you this

because if I understood that

I wouldn’t have cast the spell,

so I’m happy to skip the spell

and then cut the -

MATT: Okay, that’s fine. We’ll do that.

As part of the action economy,

the idea is

that because you’re attacking with one,

you can give yourself an opening

to get a quick strike with the other.

LIAM: So it has to go with another attack.

Now I understand.

So if I had understood -

thank you, thank you.

I’ll take that mulligan for understanding.

So now I’m going to stab him

with Mythcarver through the back.

LIAM: Flanked.

MATT: Yes.

LIAM: And flanked is at advantage, yeah?

MATT: No.

LIAM: An ally nearby, was it not?

MATT: Technically, he’s not flanked

because the other ally is prone

and is not currently

threatening his face -

LIAM: All right, that misses, then.

MARISHA: Fucking fuck.

LIAM: So I’ve used an action

but not the bonus action,

so I’m going to disengage.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: And I’m going to dart back,

as far away from him as I can get.

ASHLEY, LAURA, AND TALIESIN:

(silly voices) D&D!

LIAM: 12 speed - the boots are off.

6, got it. Yeah, got it.

MATT: All right, there you go.

That brings us to…

At this point,

waiting around this way.

As you guys are all distracted

at this point,

turns around, takes a dagger.

MARISHA: Who?

LAURA: There’s another guy?

MARISHA: Where did he come from?

TALIESIN: That’s the one

that ran that way. He’s mine.

MARISHA: That yours? The little shit.

LIAM: By the way,

the Whitestone guards are shit.

MARISHA: Yeah, no shit.

LAURA: This is all happening so fast!

LIAM: Don’t they stand on the wall?

Don’t they stand on places?

SAM: It’s movie night.

They’re all watching The Sound of Music

in the rec room.

TRAVIS: Vasselheim, yeah,

they’re on the lax.

LIAM: Whitestone, Whitestone.

TRAVIS: I mean Whitestone.

MATT: This is all, like, 3 a.m.

at Whitestone Castle right now.

That being the case,

the guard makes two dagger attacks.

One at you, Percy,

and one at you, Pike.

That’s natural 20 against you, Percy.

TALIESIN: Natural 20 against me?

MATT: Yes.

TALIESIN: Goddamn it.

Where’s my goddamn - ah, shit.

SAM: What do you need?

What? What’s wrong?

MATT: No, it’s okay. He rolled a 1.

So you take

6 points of piercing damage.

TALIESIN: I was going to try and grab it.

I’m just trying to find my -

my dagger seems to have vanished.

Yeah, I can’t find my dagger

for some reason. My gloves.

MATT: That would be 18 against you, Pike?

That does hit you.

ASHLEY: Does hit.

MATT: You take 4 points

of piercing damage.

ASHLEY: Okay okay okay okay okay.

TRAVIS: Okay okay okay.

TALIESIN: I think the snare glove is 1d8.

MATT: 1d10, actually.

TALIESIN: 1d10. That’s even better.

MATT: Because he hit you first -

ASHLEY: I’m still alive.

MATT: - it’s sneak attack

on top of that. He was hidden.

So that was 6, plus…

34 points of piercing damage, all together.

TALIESIN: Dropped to 23.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Yeah. so. That’s right.

MARISHA: Yeah, don’t do that.

TALIESIN: No, I’m not thinking.

There we go.

MATT: All righty.

MARISHA: All right.

MATT: That finishes their turn.

Vex, you’re up.

LAURA: Me?

MATT: Yes.

LAURA: Okay, the wall just opened up,

so I’m going to shout for Trinket

to run after the assassin

throwing the knives.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: And I’m going to run

out the doorway.

If I go up on my broom,

will I be able to see them

down in the courtyard?

MATT: From this perspective? No.

LAURA: I mean, if I run out the door -

right, right.

MATT: If you run out the door…

is this all on the broom?

LAURA: Well, if I’m in the air,

can I see down at…

MATT: You’d be able to from -

MARISHA: Jazz hands?

TALIESIN: (singing) You’ll be swell.

TALIESIN, ASHLEY, AND LAURA:

(singing) You’ll be great.

TRAVIS: (singing)

You’ve got the world on…

TRAVIS AND ASHLEY: (singing) a plate.

MATT: Yeah, so from up there

as you (shhh) shoot out above,

looking down, you can see

where they lie on the battlefield there.

LAURA: I want to shoot the rakshasa!

(all laugh)

MATT: Go for it.

LAURA: Yes! I’m going to use

my Longbow of the Sky Sentinel.

MATT: All righty.

SAM: You were born for this stuff.

ASHLEY: I want to shoot the rakshasa!

LAURA: Okay.

I make an attack roll for three arrows.

Okay, that’s a good one. That is 31.

MATT: 31? Hits.

LAURA: Yes. As the first hit.

LAURA: 19 is the second?

MATT: That does hit.

TRAVIS: Nice.

LAURA: And 22 is the third.

MATT: Okay. Just as a note,

what’s your alignment?

LAURA: No, I’m neutral.

Chaotic neutral.

MATT: Okay, cool, just checking.

All right, so go ahead and roll damage.

LAURA: Why?!

ASHLEY: What does that mean?

LIAM: I know what it means.

SAM: I don’t know what it means.

TRAVIS: You do know what it means?

LIAM: I do.

LAURA: Does that mean

I do not as good damage to him

or something?

LIAM: Sort of.

LAURA: God darn it. Okay, wait.

TRAVIS: That fucking smirk.

LIAM: Sort of.

LAURA: Hold on. I’m just

going to roll the first attack,

because I’m stupid.

Great. 12 for the first

because I forgot

to Hunter’s Mark him

because I’m a genius

because I’m just so worked up

because my brother’s in trouble.

TRAVIS: As per uzh.

LAURA: Gosh darn it.

LIAM: This shit ain’t my fault.

MATT: As a note,

your rage would have faded

because you had gotten no damage,

but you also could have used

your bonus action last turn

for your rage.

TRAVIS: Which I totally whispered,

but just not loud enough.

MATT: That’s what I figured.

SAM: We’re on point today.

TRAVIS: You are omnipotent, my man.

LAURA: 9 for the second attack.

MATT: All righty.

LAURA: Oh, I haven’t been adding

for the bracers.

Add 4 extra to what I told you.

MATT: All righty.

LAURA: 18 for the last.

MATT: Nice.

LAURA: No, 20 for the last.

I’m sorry, Matt.

I’m freaking out.

LIAM: So cruel, so cruel, so cruel.

MATT: You rush up in the air,

and these were with disadvantage

on all the attack rolls

because you’re on your broom?

TALIESIN: I swear

I’ll finish it eventually.

I swear, I swear.

MATT: Roll three more dice

and we’ll see if I negate any of these.

First one is?

LIAM: (laughs) 1.

MATT: First attack, nope,

and I need you to roll a dexterity check.

LAURA: Natural 20.

SAM: Whoa!

MATT: Okay, so you stay on the broom,

you don’t fall off.

LIAM: Yeah.

SAM: She’s surfing on the broom.

LIAM: No pressure.

MATT: Roll -

LAURA: The second one I already rolled.

It’s a 25 for the second.

MATT: Okay.

Roll again for the third one.

LAURA: (fake-cries)

LAURA: What is that? 20.

ASHLEY: 21.

LAURA: 21 for the last.

MATT: Okay, so the last two still hit.

LAURA: Okay, do I have to roll…

oh no, do I have to roll again for -

TRAVIS: No, you stayed on.

MATT: No, you stayed on. You’re fine.

MATT: Essentially, as you rushed up,

you saw him, you took aim,

but you almost fell off the side.

The first arrow goes far.

The other two that split off

do manage to make their hit,

but the first one

does streak off into the sky.

You right yourself back up on the broom,

but that’s the end of your turn.

LAURA: Wait, I get another attack.

MATT: You do,

because that was the first one.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: All right. Go ahead and roll.

LAURA: My second one -

can I use my bonus action? Sorry.

MATT: No.

LAURA: Not in between my two attacks?

MATT: What are you going to use it for?

LAURA: Hunter’s Mark!

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: It’s really just a stink-eye.

ASHLEY: I want to shoot the rakshasa!

MATT: You watch as your mark…

has no effect.

TRAVIS: It has no effect?

LAURA: Oh, that’s right.

He’s a rakshasa. He’s an asshole.

TRAVIS: Why does it have no effect?

TRAVIS: Tigers resist Hunter’s Mark?

LAURA: I don’t know why.

MATT: You’ve never actually

fought one before, Laura.

LAURA: No, I don’t know why, but -

ASHLEY: Tiger’s resistance?

LAURA: - he didn’t seem to be affected.

ASHLEY: Tiger bomb?

TALIESIN: It’s the eye of the tiger.

MARISHA: Tiger bomb.

MATT: You try and focus

your intent on attacking him

and yet it doesn’t seem to find its form.

LAURA: 19 for the last, with disadvantage.

MATT: That does hit. Roll the last attack.

LAURA: Okay. Okay okay okay.

LIAM: Okay okay okay.

MATT: Pike, you’re up next.

LAURA: Oh, no,

I don’t get any additional -

MATT: Nope.

LAURA: - so that’s just 14.

TRAVIS: Why don’t you get any additional?

LAURA: Because I don’t get

any storm damage.

MATT: So you pull -

LAURA: Oh, but -

MATT: B-b-b!

LAURA: No, I didn’t say that was true.

LAURA: I didn’t say that was

through the flaming bowstring, did I?

Because I was so distracted

by the Hunter’s Mark.

MATT: All right. That finishes your turn.

Pike, you’re up.

ASHLEY: Okay, so I’m going to

cast Cure Wounds on myself.

MATT: Go for it.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: What level?

ASHLEY: 5.

SAM: Yeah!

MATT: (laughs) 5th. Go for it.

So 5d8.

ASHLEY AND TRAVIS: (count quietly)

SAM: 5d8?

MATT: Yeah, 5d8 + 5.

TRAVIS: 21.

ASHLEY: That’s the last one?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Okay, 21 points.

MATT: You heal yourself 21 points.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: What else you doing now?

MATT: You see Trinket

run around the corner

and is now currently in the face

of the assassin

that just threw a blade at you.

And the rest of the party’s

running through this hole.

ASHLEY: How close can I get to the hole?

MATT: You can get about there.

ASHLEY: Okay.

So I’m going to go to there.

MATT: Okay, so you run around

to that area there.

ASHLEY: And then I’m going to

create a Spiritual Weapon.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Can I send it

down to the rakshasa?

MATT: You don’t know

where the rakshasa is.

ASHLEY: I don’t know

where the rakshasa is.

MATT: You have no idea, no visual cue.

You just see a hole in the stone wall

that everyone’s rushing through

and that’s the most that you know.

ASHLEY: Okay, so you know what?

Can I nix that?

MATT: Yep, you can do that.

ASHLEY: I’m going to

cast Shield of Faith on myself.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: So that will bring me up to -

because I’m 13 right now with the shield?

MATT: Yes, that’ll bring you to 15.

So you have that

on your concentration.

Good call. Percy, you’re up.

TALIESIN: Can I see that jerk

who just threw the knife at me?

MATT: No, he ducked around the corner

and Trinket gave chase.

TALIESIN: Okay, I’m going to

roll towards that corner as well.

MATT: This corner?

TALIESIN: Yeah, I’m going that way.

MATT: Come around the corner that way

and you see Trinket harrying the guy.

LIAM: Run, Steve Martin, run.

TALIESIN: (laughs)

I’m taking some shots at him.

MATT: Go for it.

TALIESIN: Sharpshooter.

LAURA: Trinket instinctually ducks.

TALIESIN: I will not hit Trinket. 24?

MATT: Hits.

TALIESIN: Yeah, that’ll do it.

25 points of damage.

MATT: Hoo.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: (gunshot) Giant blast

as one of his shoulders is blown back.

You see a spatter of blood

across the stairs behind him

and he almost stumbles

back into the stairs.

Trinket’s using this position

to move even closer and snarl.

He’s feeling closed off.

TALIESIN: Taking another shot.

MATT: Go for it.

TALIESIN: Sharpshooter.

That’s 19?

MATT: Hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

TALIESIN: Hee! 24.

ASHLEY: Dang.

MATT: All righty.

TALIESIN: Another shot.

LIAM: Consistent.

MATT: (tssh) This one

actually hits him

right above the pectoral muscle

and blows him back,

now almost leaning against the stairs,

these two big wounds

right in the middle of his chest.

SAM: I think you’ll

probably have mercy on him, right?

TALIESIN: Yeah, no,

I’m actually going to hire him.

He’s been great.

MARISHA: Could be an intern.

TALIESIN: (laughs) I can’t count

when you do that. 24.

MATT: 24?

TALIESIN: 24.

MATT: All right, that hits.

TALIESIN: Come on. 18.

SAM: Jesus.

MARISHA: Kill him. Kill him.

TALIESIN: 6 + 10.

But I get a -5 to my attack.

MATT: Yeah, with this one,

as you pull back, final shot,

you fire and it (fwoomp),

right through the forehead.

Eyes roll back as Trinket lunges

and tears the throat out.

TALIESIN: I keep running by them

right up the hill.

LAURA: Midnight snack!

LIAM: Take it, DiCaprio!

MATT: That’s as far as you make it,

full movement.

LAURA: He does the paw thing.

ASHLEY: Wait,

are all the assassins gone now?

MATT: You only saw two.

ASHLEY: And you just killed one.

TALIESIN: Mine’s dead and yours is dead.

ASHLEY: Or two. Okay.

TALIESIN: We don’t know about any others.

TRAVIS: He smoked both of them, yeah.

MATT: All right.

That ends your turn, Percy.

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: All right.

SAM: Trinket’s the best

at killing dead guys.

LAURA: He is so good at it.

MATT: Everyone rushes in,

the rakshasa glares around.

LAURA: No!

MARISHA: Oh, this motherfucker.

ASHLEY: Don’t you leave!

LIAM: He’s going for spells!

TRAVIS: We’re still on the roof.

It’s just Scanlan and Vax down there.

TRAVIS: He’s not intimidated yet.

LAURA: I shot him, though.

TRAVIS: He doesn’t see us.

MARISHA: I hope he’s got a Counterspell…

TRAVIS: He doesn’t know where it’s coming.

Right? (high-pitched) Right?

TALIESIN: (singing)

Sam has got a Counterspell.

LAURA: What are you - what’s happening?

MARISHA: (singing) When you’re a Jet,

you’re a Jet all the way.

LAURA: Oh.

MARISHA: I don’t know.

LIAM: Rakshasa.

SAM: He’s doing math.

MATT: All righty.

SAM: It’s a Beautiful Mind moment

right now.

LIAM: He does want to join Vox Monica.

TALIESIN: This is what it’s like

on this end,

going, “what the fuck do I do?"

Thank you.

MARISHA: You know, there’s

a mathematical equation for your stripes?

LIAM: Well, he reads thoughts

but he gets them backwards, sometimes.

SAM: He’s thinking

about that great Loot Crate deal.

LIAM: Vox Merkernerkerk.

LAURA: Verks Merkernerk.

ASHLEY: Vox Monica.

TRAVIS: Oh, shit.

ASHLEY: Vox Phoebe.

TRAVIS: He’s really thinking about this.

ASHLEY: Vox Ross. Vox Chandler.

SAM: How many people will die instantly

SAM: - if I set off

a thermonuclear bomb in my pocket?

MATT: All right. So.

LAURA: Vox Joey.

TRAVIS: Joey.

MATT: So. Hotis, first, is going to…

reach back and pull out -

no actually, no.

Hotis is going to look up

at the creature that just

flew in on the broom.

ASHLEY: Look away.

MATT: Looks at you and says,

"You’ll do.”

MATT: Right as the eye contact hits you -

MARISHA: Oh my god.

MARISHA: He’s going to fucking

Finger of Death.

MATT: - you feel a presence

begin to push into your head.

I need you to roll

a wisdom saving throw.

LIAM: At advantage, being a half-elf.

LAURA: Is it a charm?

MARISHA: Yeah, he’s trying to charm.

LAURA: Okay okay okay!

LIAM: Okay okay okay.

LAURA: Sheesh! Okay.

LIAM: Ah, we’re good.

LAURA: And what is it, wisdom?

MATT: Wisdom.

LAURA: 18 plus 3 is 21?

MATT: 21, all right.

You resist the effect.

TRAVIS: What was he doing?

What was the effect?

MARISHA: Trying to charm you, man.

LIAM: It was what he did to me

the last time we faced him.

TRAVIS: Oh, really?

LIAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: Only half of us

know how this fucker works.

LIAM: Now he does nothing at all.

LAURA: I don’t know what he is.

MARISHA: Wait…

TALIESIN: I wasn’t there.

MARISHA: It was just -

was it just me and you?

LIAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: Oh my god,

it was just me and you.

TALIESIN: Yeah, we’ve never, we have no…

LIAM: (sings) We’ve only just met.

ASHLEY: (sings) We’ve only just begun.

MATT: Yeah, he’s going to get

quite a way aways from you guys.

ASHLEY: Where’s he going?

MATT: I’d say because you’re prone,

you do get

one attack of opportunity on him -

no, you dropped the blade.

The blade is not at your feet,

so you can punch him if you want

as he runs by.

SAM: Oh, if he runs away

I can cast a spell on him.

MARISHA: Yeah. Warcaster.

MATT: From prone.

I’ll let it happen, sure.

MARISHA: You can cast

when you’re on your back.

MATT: 5 feet of you. I’ll let you do it.

What do you want to do?

SAM: Well, it’s not the rule, though,

I don’t want any preferential -

MATT: No, it’s not against the rules.

It’s a weird in-between.

You’re on the ground

after falling from the top.

SAM: Yeah, I’m hurt,

so maybe it wouldn’t work.

MATT: Yeah, but you see him running away

and you can still cast from the ground,

so go for it.

What do you want to cast?

SAM: Okay. Well,

what I was going to cast

before he ran away

was Bigby’s Hand

and try to grapple him.

MATT: Okay,

so you create Bigby’s Hand.

SAM: (singing) Bigby’s Hand!

MATT: And what level is Bigby’s Hand?

SAM: 5.

LAURA: Oh, no!

MATT: Bigby’s Hand (whoosh) appears

and rushes out,

and the fingers

pass through the rakshasa.

It has no effect.

LAURA: I know, I know.

ASHLEY: No!

MATT: It twice more tries to reach out,

And the rakshasa shrugs it off

like it’s nothing.

SAM: What? Bigby…

But the hand is still there?

SAM: He didn’t Counterspell it.

MATT: Correct.

SAM: He’s somehow immune

to hand-based attacks.

What if it were a foot?

Would that have the same effect?

MATT: One could only conjecture.

SAM: Shit!

TALIESIN: It’s just

the number of fingers, man.

SAM: Well, then I flip him off with it,

but the British way.

(all laugh)

MATT: Perfect.

All right, that’s going to end his turn.

MATT: Scanlan, you’re up

LIAM: Rakshasa cannot be jerked.

SAM: All right, I’m up.

Well, that didn’t work.

So I guess I’ll drop that.

And instead -

Jesus, what else can he resist?

Fucking shit.

How far is he from me?

MATT: Currently? He’s about…

40 feet from you?

SAM: Okay.

MATT: You can get up.

You’re still prone on the ground.

SAM: I’ll use half of my movement

to get up,

and I will stare daggers at him

and cast Eyebite against him.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Yeah, I’ll just do one of these

and I’ll sing at him.

I’ll sing,

“(singing) I hate rakasha,

so put another arrow in his body, baby!

(others join in singing):

"I hate rakasha,

"so come and take the time

and fight with me!”

(all laugh)

MATT: As he looks back at you

as you’re singing out loud

and chuckles to himself -

SAM: Fucking -

MATT: - as it has no effect.

LIAM: Ah! Haha.

SAM: Fuck! But it was a good song!

TRAVIS: It was!

MATT: It was a very good song.

LIAM: Petition to Chris Perkins

to rename it “rakasha.”

MARISHA: Rakasha!

LAURA: (whispers) Rakasha!

SAM: But what, he’s impervious to spells?

How did that happen?

ASHLEY: What level was it?

SAM: That’s a 6th-level spell!

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: You have two more squares,

if you want.

SAM: I don’t have a sword anymore.

He picked it up, right?

LIAM: Yep.

MATT: Yep.

SAM: So, I guess I will…

LIAM: Hey, I’m in a lot of pain.

SAM: Oh, yeah. That guy.

(all laugh)

SAM: Okay. I’ll, uh -

LIAM: 6 big hit points.

SAM: I’ll heal you again with a -

I can only do a level 1 bonus action

with a Healing Word, right?

MATT: Up to level 2.

SAM: Oh, then I’ll do

a level 2 Healing Word.

MATT: So 2d4 + 5.

SAM: Ooh. 2d4 + 5 and 5?

Or 2d4 + 5?

MATT: Just 5.

SAM: Well, this is shitty.

It’s 9 points again.

LIAM: I’ll take it.

MATT: It’s better than nothing.

LIAM: Yep.

MATT: Better than nothing. All righty.

That ends Scanlan’s turn. Grog, you’re up.

TRAVIS: Can I see them at all

from the roof?

MATT: Yeah. You’ve gotten up

and you can see them all there.

Whatever this creature is,

is now in the distance,

trying to run back.

TRAVIS: Sweet anus! Reason to jump!

TRAVIS: And I jump off the roof

into the courtyard.

MATT: Okay, (landing thud) you leap

and it’s a very small step down (footstep)

TRAVIS: But I make it look

like I landed really hard!

MARISHA: Three-point landing!

TRAVIS: Can I continue my movement

in his direction

as far as I can go? 50 feet.

MATT: 50. That’s as far as you can get.

TRAVIS: Is he another 20 feet away?

MATT: About 20 feet from you, yeah.

TRAVIS: Can I take my…

Can I attach the Blood Axe

to my Chain of Returning

and hurl it at the rakshasa?

MATT: I’ll say yeah. You, being Grog,

for the most part,

you don’t take your equipment

too far from you

because you’ve been

in uncomfortable situations.

TRAVIS: Only in the house of lady favors

do I let my beans hang out when I sleep.

MATT: Right. Fair enough.

You would have the chain on you, still.

ASHLEY: Franks and beans!

LIAM: How do you get the beans

above the franks?

MATT: You attach it, swish it,

and throw the axe. Go ahead.

TRAVIS: Reckless attack.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Thank god.

Not much better. 17.

MATT: 17. 17 does hit.

TRAVIS: Oh, yay!

MATT: Go ahead and roll damage on that.

TRAVIS: 6! That’s 26

with 6 points of necrotic damage.

MATT: Nice!

(throwing sounds)

The axe slams

into the tiger creature’s chest.

“(growls, breathes heavily)

I’ll come back for all of you!”

Do you want to pull the blade back?

TRAVIS: Nope.

MATT: All right.

It’s on the ground next to him,

it’s not jammed into him -

TRAVIS: Oh, then yeah, I’ll pull it back.

MATT: Yeah, it’s not hard to pull back.

TRAVIS: Just (whoosh).

MATT: Go ahead

and roll your athletics check.

TRAVIS: What is it?

MATT: You’re raging,

so you have advantage.

TRAVIS: Oh, thank you.

TRAVIS: Same number.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: Athletics.

TRAVIS: 11.

MATT: You pull it back (vwoof)

and it streaks past you (shhh),

scatters across the ground

in the other direction.

You haven’t quite picked it up yet;

you’re going to have to try again.

TRAVIS: Meant to do that.

MATT: Yep.

ASHLEY: It’s 15.

SAM: Cool move.

TRAVIS: Oh, it’s 15, sorry.

MATT: 15?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: Then as you (shhh) pull it back -

No, not this day, Blood Axe.

You’re mine.

(all laugh)

MATT: All right.

That finishes your turn, Grog.

Keyleth, you’re up.

MARISHA: I am going to…

move up, I guess.

My full movement.

MATT: About there.

MARISHA: Okay, roughly how far away

is he from me now? The rakshasa?

MATT: Eyeballing it right now,

from best you can tell,

he’s about 60-70 feet from you.

MARISHA: All right. Okay. 60-70 feet.

First things first,

I’m going to cast Wall of Stone,

and what I want to do

is make it a semi-circle,

and wall him in with us.

MATT: A semi-circle and wall you guys in?

MARISHA: Yeah, wall him in with us.

I don’t want us to lose sight on him,

but I want to make it like a -

TALIESIN: A cup.

MARISHA: A cup. Yeah.

MATT: All righty. So like around there?

MARISHA: Yep. All the way…

MATT: How long can you make the wall?

MARISHA: How long can I make the wall?

I can make the wall…

MATT: Vax, you’re on deck by the way.

MARISHA: I can do 10 by… sorry.

If it’s 3 inches thick,

I can do 10 foot by -

TALIESIN: 10 by 20?

MARISHA: 20-foot panels…

It doesn’t really specify right now.

Is it supposed to be 10…

Okay, right. Right.

So I think that’s about right.

MATT: I will pull this up.

MARISHA: I don’t want it

to be super thick.

TALIESIN: It’s not a very descriptive -

MARISHA: It’s not very descriptive.

MATT: Okay, 6-inch thick,

composed of 10 foot by 10 foot panels -

MARISHA: And when I do 3 inches thick,

I can create 10 foot by 20 foot panels -

it says the same damn thing in the book.

You create a span of 20-foot length…

MATT: We’ll say that that’s fine.

You do a 3-inch wall there, 10 feet high?

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: All righty.

MARISHA: And now I’m going to

do a bonus action - see if this works.

Okay, I have a 60-foot range here,

so I want to cast a Grasping Vine -

MATT: Grasping Vine is a 4th-level spell.

You can’t do it as a bonus action

the same turn you did another spell.

MARISHA: Fuck, that’s right.

Never mind.

Then I’m going to

take a bonus action

and Healing Word Vax.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: 8 points.

How far away am I from Vax?

MATT: You’re about 25-30 feet.

MARISHA: Okay, can I shout at him?

MATT: You may.

MARISHA: Vax! Is that Hotis?

LIAM: Yeah!

MARISHA: Uh, holy shit!

LIAM: That’s what I said!

MARISHA: That’s my turn.

MATT: And it’s your turn, Vax.

LIAM: Okay, and the first thing I do

is shout out,

“Blades! I think blades

are the best way to go here, folks!”

And I’m going to run at him.

MATT: All righty.

LIAM: I think I should get there

with 12, no?

LAURA: No boots.

LIAM: Oh! No boots!

LIAM: All right, I’ll use - fuck a duck.

I’ll use the bonus action to dash.

MATT: Okay, dash. (swoosh)

You’ll get right there.

Unless you want to hold back -

LIAM: And I’m going to try

to grapple that fucking dick.

MATT: Go for it.

LAURA: Mmm, that’s good.

LIAM: 19.

LAURA: I’m going to grapple that dick

so good.

ASHLEY: I’m going to grapple that dick!

TALIESIN: I’m going to grapple that dick.

SAM: Grapple that dick.

MATT: He is grappled.

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: Grapple him, yeah!

(all laugh)

LIAM: And before my turn ends,

I’m going to pull him in and say,

“Fool me once, motherfucker.”

And whoever steps in steps in.

MATT: Okay. Good to know.

This assassin is done -

no turns for them.

He is being slowly torn apart by Trinket

against the stairs. Vex, you’re up.

LAURA: Okay, I’m going to…

jeez, Louise.

I’m going to… fly down

and land on the ground as my move.

MATT: All righty.

LAURA: And I’m going to shoot him

with my Blazing Bowstring.

MATT: Go for it.

SAM: (singing) Blazing Bowstring!

LAURA: 22!

MATT: That hits.

LAURA: All right. (mumbling) …13…

LIAM: (sighs) Girl…

LAURA: (mumbling) …plus 8…

ASHLEY: Nice.

LAURA: Is 21! On the first attack.

MATT: 21 damage. All righty.

LAURA: And I get to use

the Blazing Bowstring again

because I get it twice.

MATT: You do. Roll for the next attack.

LAURA: That is a 26.

MATT: That hits, yeah.

LAURA: 15 on the second.

ASHLEY: Bracers?

MATT: All righty…

LAURA: Ah! Shit, add 4 to that.

I’m sorry. I’m an asshole.

MATT: No, it’s all good.

TRAVIS: You said it.

MATT: All righty, so (whoosh whoosh)

both arrows slam

(sound of flame catching)

burst of flame -

“(growls)”

MATT: He’s now starting to look

even more rough and ragged.

The fire’s curling

up the side of the robe.

LAURA: And I yell,

“What’s a hotis?!”

MATT: All right. Pike, you’re up.

ASHLEY: Okay. I would like

to get to the window and jump out.

MATT: The hole in the wall you mean?

ASHLEY: The hole in the wall.

I have my Celestial Shield.

I’m going to cast Featherfall on myself.

MATT: Okay, this actually is a climb up.

This isn’t a window.

This is an opening in the wall

that Keyleth made with Stone Shape.

MARISHA: I made a ramp with the rubble.

MATT: You’re actually stepping up.

ASHLEY: She made a ramp,

so we don’t need to do it.

MATT: So you get up,

and the farthest you can get this turn,

unless you want to go full movement -

you’ll not be able to make it

all the way up the ramp

and still do something, so…

ASHLEY: Can I use my Sprinter’s Boots?

MATT: You can, actually. Yes, you can.

ASHLEY: I’m still up on the ramp.

Can I still be hidden, then?

I’ll stay right there.

MATT: Okay,

so you come out onto the roof

and you jump down about 5 feet,

and you’re on the roof, now,

the moonlight coming down,

a somewhat clouded, spotted sky.

In the distance, you see everyone

rushing towards some sort of entity

that’s walled in by a stone wall.

He’s currently up in the face of Vax.

You still have your action right now.

ASHLEY: Okay. Do I have a clear shot

to use - where did it go?

ASHLEY: Flame Strike at 7th level.

MATT: You do, actually.

MATT: You do. On 7th level?

ASHLEY: Da.

SAM: Our music, it’s gone.

LAURA: Oh no.

MATT: Oh, it’s coming, don’t worry.

LIAM: (singing “Whistle Stop”)

(all join in on different parts)

SAM: That’s also Bluegrass, folks.

MATT: And with that,

we’re putting box music up.

(all chuckle)

MATT: Or we should be.

LAURA: Oh no!

TALIESIN: (radio announcer voice)

That’s called “The Rakshasa Blues.”

TALIESIN: Coming up next -

LIAM: (starts singing Mortal Kombat theme)

MATT: We’ve got a boombox right here -

LAURA, MARISHA, AND ASHLEY:

Mortal Kombat!

TRAVIS: Doo-doo-doo. Fight!

MATT: I don’t know why -

input’s functional,

but we’ll just make up the music as we go.

So, at a 7th-level Flame Strike.

That’ll be putting… 10d6 damage.

Going to attempt a saving throw.

That’s a natural 1,

but does have advantage

on saving throws against spells.

LAURA: I can hear music,

it’s just really quiet!

MARISHA: Yeah, I can hear it.

LIAM: I liked ours better.

MARISHA: Oh, there we go!

Oh, you were doing something to it.

SAM: This is exciting.

MATT: It’s coming, isn’t it?

MARISHA: It’s coming.

LIAM: (record scratching noise)

MATT: What’s the DC of your spell?

That’ll be an 18.

MATT: Spell DC?

ASHLEY: 18.

MATT: Yeah, it does save,

so it takes half damage.

Go ahead and roll 10d6.

LAURA: Damn.

LIAM: Damn.

ASHLEY: Okay, 6, 8, 9.

MARISHA: Kill that motherfucker!

ASHLEY: 14.

LAURA: 18.

ASHLEY: 18.

TRAVIS: (whispers) 19.

ASHLEY: 19, 22 -

TRAVIS: But that’s it -

ASHLEY: I roll 10.

TRAVIS: Oh!

LAURA: 22, 28, 29.

LIAM: It’s like watching the Olympics.

ASHLEY: 29.

LIAM: 5-9, 5-8, 6-1.

LAURA: Ooh!

MARISHA: I don’t even know

what that means!

ASHLEY: Okay, so 45.

MATT: So, 45 halved is 22 points

of fire and bludgeoning damage.

MARISHA: What did you cast?

MATT: So how do you want to do this?

ASHLEY: (gasps) Wha -

LAURA AND TRAVIS: Oh!

TRAVIS: Shit!

LAURA: Oh my god!

ASHLEY: Are you serious? (gasps) What?

LAURA: Pikey-Pike killed a rakshasa!

MATT: How do you want to do this?

LIAM: Do it, girl.

ASHLEY: I’m so shocked! I don’t know!

Okay, okay. Oh, man.

Can the Flame Strike go through his body

and (explosion noise)

burst him like a (foof)?

(all laugh)

MATT: Burst him like a foof.

So, as you turn the corner,

seeing all your friends

charging toward this creature,

knowing the fear that you heard

in Vax’s voice earlier,

the burning rage of vengeance -

ASHLEY: I’m mad.

MATT: - burns beneath your skin -

SAM: Exposed skin.

MATT: - your mostly exposed skin.

ASHLEY: My non-hairy skin.

(all laugh)

MATT: You grab your holy symbol,

drop the shield,

and bring your arm up like this.

As you do, the rakshasa before you

all of a sudden goes like (grunts) -

LIAM: I’m going to let go of him now.

MATT: You see the skin cracking -

LIAM: Just back up a few.

MATT: - these breaks to his exterior,

these strange, glowing,

internal cracks on his body.

“(hissing, raspy breaths)

I will return!”

LIAM: Yeah, we’ll see you next time,

shitface.

MATT: (explosion sound)

And he detonates with a column of fire

that comes bursting out of the ground

from the body.

You can see the shattering,

burned bits of rakshasa flesh

go flying across

the entire exterior of the castle

as this column, 20, 30, 40 feet up,

streaks up out of the top of the castle,

lighting up

the vicinity of Whitestone.

And as it slowly subsides,

there is nothing but a pile of ash

left where Hotis was.

(cheers)

TRAVIS: That was sweet!

LAURA: What the fuck was that?

ASHLEY: Thanks, Grog!

SAM: So, I think I understand.

You have to be naked

to cast spells on it. Is that it?

ASHLEY: I think that’s what it is!

LIAM: That’s how we did it last time.

LAURA: What was that? What is this?

TALIESIN: I’m going to

finish running up to the West Tower.

LAURA: Trinket is slowly realizing

nobody’s around him.

TALIESIN: He could have joined me.

ASHLEY: I hold my shield over my body.

LIAM: I think we might need to have

a discussion with Vanessa at some point

for not alerting us

to the fact that this is a -

MARISHA: That those things come back.

LIAM: - an ongoing -

MARISHA: - problem.

LIAM: - contract.

TRAVIS: I run over

and I give Pike a fancy robe.

MARISHA: We watched him die.

LAURA: Who, Hotis?

LIAM: I stuck a knife through his throat

and slit the front of it.

TRAVIS: You killed him before?

ASHLEY: So he comes back?

MARISHA: Remember when we split up

for the Slayer’s Take?

He was our contract.

TRAVIS: Oh.

LAURA: Right.

TRAVIS: Didn’t finish him off, did you?

MARISHA: Nope,

Vax and I watched him die.

TRAVIS: Like, die, or like he “ah” fell?

LAURA: And then you walked away.

LIAM: I slit his throat.

MARISHA: He slit his throat.

LIAM: And it exploded blood

all over the ground

underneath his big smile -

MARISHA: Yes, it got blood

all over the place.

TRAVIS: That’s pretty dead.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: So he’s a vampire.

MARISHA: I think we need

to talk to Vanessa, like he said.

TALIESIN: I am alerting the guards

and I am yelling through the hallways

to lock down the city.

MATT: Which, at this point,

guards start coming up from below -

LAURA: Good job, guys! Totally on it.

TALIESIN: We don’t know we got everybody -

lock down, keep looking!

MARISHA: Yes, be that there are

assassins running around,

which was not part of the contract before.

LAURA: I fly up on the broom

and try to spot anybody on the ground

that looks dangerous.

TRAVIS: Can I look at Vax

and ask him what he’s wearing?

LAURA: (laughs)

LIAM: Oh, this is a -

SAM: A bloody robe.

LIAM: A beautiful, bloodied…

LIAM: It’s a robe.

It’s a beautiful brown.

MARISHA: The beading on it is gorgeous.

LAURA: I thought it was silver.

ASHLEY: Can I check the robe?

LIAM: No, no look at it - it’s brown.

It’s brown, it’s earthy.

LAURA: Matt said it was silver

the last game.

LIAM: Yeah, but look at it.

Can’t you see with your eyes? It’s brown.

MATT: Well, portions of it are brown now,

due to the blood that has seeped into it

from the various stab wounds

that he’s suffered.

LIAM: I don’t really want to wear this.

I’m a little confused right now.

I think I need to -

SAM: What happened?

TRAVIS: Yeah, how did that happen?

ASHLEY: Can I take a look at the robe?

MATT: As you attempt to take the robe off,

you feel like the strength

is sapped from your body

and you’re like (raspy groan).

And the more you try to pull it off,

the more and more you start to feel

like it’s pulling the breath

out of your lungs.

ASHLEY: Can I try to rip it off of him?

LIAM: Ah, wait wait wait wait wait -

let’s figure out what’s going on!

LAURA: Do I see anything? Can I land?

MATT: Yeah, make a perception check -

LIAM: Wait, stop, everyone stop.

(breathes heavily)

That thing came to me

disguised as Gilmore.

He told me he wanted to talk,

we went for a walk, he gave me this -

Full disclosure,

we all know he’s fucking sweet on me.

We went for a stroll

and then he turned into whatever he is

and then

he fucking stabbed me in the gut.

ASHLEY: Wait, but -

MATT: You see guards

scattered around the castle.

ASHLEY: Gilmore gave you the robe?

LIAM: No, he was disguised as Gilmore.

MARISHA: The rakshasa can disguise -

LIAM: He’s a skinchanger.

MARISHA: He can shape-shift -

MARISHA: - and he can teleport,

and he can do all sorts of shifty things.

LIAM: Which means we need to find Gilmore

and we need to find Allura now.

TALIESIN: Everyone get -

MARISHA: Hang on, hang on!

MARISHA: I go up to Vax

and I cast Dispel Magic

as I try and pull off the robe.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Ahh. Ahh?

It stings? I think.

MATT: Go ahead and roll a d20

and add 6 for your wisdom.

MARISHA: Add 6 to my wisdom?

MATT: Add 6 to the roll from your wisdom.

MARISHA: Oh, add 6 to the roll

from my wisdom.

Oh, adding my modifier, right. 14.

MATT: 14. As you cast Dispel Magic

and start pulling the robe back,

you feel like someone’s

pulling the skin off your body.

SAM: Oh, god.

LIAM: Fuck me!

MATT: You suffer 12 points of damage

as it feels like someone’s

peeling the flesh off your body.

SAM AND MARISHA: Wait, does it come off?

MATT: No.

TALIESIN: I’ve got a plan.

MARISHA: It doesn’t come off.

TRAVIS: I pull it off.

TALIESIN: No no no no no! No.

I’m grabbing Vex.

Vax, Vex, with me.

Everyone start searching.

Tell them that we’re going to need

a healer downstairs.

And I’m going to take him.

We’re going to head towards -

LAURA: Wait, did you say me or him?

TALIESIN: I’m taking both of you -

TALIESIN: - because I’m not

carrying him alone, because he’s heavy.

LAURA: He’s actually quite light.

LIAM: I’m lighter than my sister.

TALIESIN: I have a strength of 12.

There’s not a lot I can do.

LAURA: Ow, no, I’m serious. Don’t!

I’m really not strong.

TALIESIN: I’m going to try and drag him

down towards the pit

with the orb of death.

MARISHA: Oh, that’s a good idea.

TRAVIS: Are there any pieces

of the rakshasa left?

MATT: Burned, tiny chunks and ash.

It was a full - it was -

We’re talking end-of-Matrix-style

Agent Smith scattering.

LIAM: Scanlan!

SAM: What?

LIAM: Will you grab

that dagger off the ground for me?

SAM: What dagger? You had a -

LIAM: His dagger, the dagger -

no, I’ve got your sword.

And I toss it as we get dragged off.

The dagger. Get the dagger for me!

SAM: I’ll grab the dagger.

I’m coming with.

LIAM: I like them.

MARISHA: I go and I look

for Allura and Gilmore.

TALIESIN: Yes, let them know

what’s going on.

MARISHA: While they do that.

MATT: Okay. So you take Vax and Vex

down towards the ziggurat.

LAURA: Come on.

LIAM: (groans)

TALIESIN: Just make sure

if you start to feel strange

as we go down there, let us know.

And we slowly inch

towards the effects of it.

LIAM: This is why

I didn’t even bother to take it off.

LAURA: You know what? At least

it doesn’t smell as bad as your feathers.

TALIESIN: That’s so true.

ASHLEY: I’d like to follow.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Life’s not that bad.

Life’s not that bad.

TALIESIN: Yes, but your smell is.

TRAVIS: I’ll go, too, just as security.

SAM: I’m with.

MATT: You’re with them?

SAM: Yes.

MATT: All right, so you guys

all make your way down.

As you’re going through the castle,

it’s in utter chaos now.

All the guards who, in what was

about 20 to 30 seconds of action

since the moment of actual shouting

at the top of the tower,

the reaction time would be great

if it wasn’t such a short window

they had to get up there

and you guys

were right in the thick of it,

and more trained than these soldiers.

MARISHA: As I’m looking

for Gilmore and Allura,

I’m alerting the guards

of the visuals of the assailants.

MATT: Okay. And the guards

begin to continue pushing around.

You can see now,

lights are starting to come on

in the town.

You guys make your way down

into the subterranean tunnels

under Whitestone, where the Ziggurat is.

You can see it, once again,

the large, pyramid-like structure.

TALIESIN: I cast - no, no, never mind.

I’ll hold off. Keep walking.

MATT: Okay. You make your way

into the central chamber.

It has a number of fire-based braziers

that are set in there now for light

that are just general fire,

but a lot of them

are burned down to embers.

It’s very, very low light in this area.

You can barely see anything in here.

You guys make your way inside the room.

It’s cold, it’s dank,

it’s not a very comfortable atmosphere.

TALIESIN: Okay. Very gently.

LIAM: I’ll do it! I’ll do it.

TALIESIN: If this doesn’t work,

we can try something else.

TRAVIS: What are you doing?

LAURA: I’ve got it.

SAM: Hold on, we’re close enough

that magic has no effect, yeah?

LAURA: Potentially.

LIAM: Potentially.

SAM: I’ll cast Mage Hand

to slap Percy in the face.

MATT: No effect.

SAM: No effect.

SAM: Okay, we’re good.

LIAM: All right.

LIAM: I’m going to just peel it, slowly.

I’m not going to rip it off

like these assholes.

MATT: Okay.

It pulls back with no issue.

LAURA: Hey! Get that shit off.

SAM: Throw it in the orb!

TALIESIN: Don’t throw it in the orb!

LAURA: Somebody give him

something to put on.

Grog, do you have

any more fancy robes?

TRAVIS: Nope, all out.

TALIESIN: Put it on the ground.

We’ll deal with it.

We’re not leaving it here.

LAURA: Well, just cover up your bits

with it, maybe.

LIAM: We look

almost exactly the same -

LAURA: I don’t have any dangly bits,

I’m sorry to tell you.

LIAM: Minus that one thing,

we are so close.

TALIESIN: Three things. Three things.

MARISHA: Three things. There’s a few.

LAURA: A couple other things.

LIAM: Yeah, but still.

TRAVIS: I do have one other fancy robe.

LAURA: Give him a fancy robe, Grog.

TRAVIS: Mmm.

LAURA: Grog!

TRAVIS: Yes?

LAURA: For my sake?

TRAVIS: All right.

Last fancy robe to Vax.

SAM: Will the Bag of Holding

work down here?

TALIESIN: No.

LIAM: Shush, you fucker.

LAURA: Oh, shit.

MATT: You reach into the Bag of Holding,

and it’s just an empty satchel.

TALIESIN: Yeah,

there’s no Bag of Holding in here.

So why don’t we go upstairs

now that it’s off

and we’ll leave it here,

and I’ll be the last to leave with it.

LAURA: Wait.

Why are you keeping it, Percy?

TALIESIN: Because I’m not sure

destroying it in here is the best idea,

and I’m not sure if destroying it

is going to damage him.

TALIESIN: So we’re going to be careful.

LAURA: All right.

TRAVIS: Aren’t there acid pools down here?

LAURA: No.

TALIESIN: It’s not a terrible idea,

but we should -

TRAVIS: Yeah, there are.

LAURA: Oh. That’s right,

that’s where your gun went.

LIAM: But not near here, not here.

TALIESIN: Let’s just very gently -

we don’t know what that is yet,

so let’s very gently

get you out of the orb’s influence,

and then we’ll remove it

out of the orb’s influence,

and we’ll see if there’s a problem.

LIAM: I walk proudly and naked

out of the fucking ziggurat.

TRAVIS: That’s what I was going to ask.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: I pick up the cloak

and move it outside the orb’s influence

to see if it has any effect.

MATT: Okay.

As you pull it beyond the perimeter

of what you’ve come to mark,

and it is marked, by the way.

Through the research of Allura

and the folks

that have been here for a while,

there is a specific mark in the hallway

where that barrier begins.

TALIESIN: I just gingerly

start to put it forward, watching him.

MATT: No noticeable effect.

TALIESIN: All right.

LAURA: Nothing?

TALIESIN: Seems all right.

TALIESIN: I’m going to slowly walk

away from the -

slowly bring it

out of the influence of the sphere.

MATT: No effect.

LAURA: Does that mean

we should take it back in and chop it up

so nobody ever puts it on?

TALIESIN: I think we should

have someone look at it first.

SAM: No, we can use it as a weapon.

TALIESIN: Or we could destroy it properly.

One or the other.

TRAVIS: Probably a good idea.

Should I check the Bag of Holding now?

LAURA: Yeah, look in it.

TRAVIS: Can I reach in for a fancy robe?

MATT: Yeah, you pull out a fancy robe.

TRAVIS: Awesome. I wind it up like a towel

and I smack Vax on the ass super hard.

LIAM: What’s - fucking hell.

And I don’t even roll for it.

(screams)

TRAVIS: Bare ass. Bare ass

I get it really good, like (whack)!

LIAM: Grog. Grog.

TRAVIS: Yeah?

LIAM: Brother,

I am so happy to be alive.

TRAVIS: Yeah, me, too.

Here you go. (whssht)

LIAM: Whoo.

Wait, is this the one? Ugh.

LAURA: No, no, it’s a fancy robe.

It’s just a regular robe.

LIAM: Are you sure?

LAURA AND ASHLEY: Yes.

TRAVIS: Yeah, put it on, fucker.

MATT: (laughs)

MATT: The fear of robes has now set in.

MARISHA: (laughs) In robes?

TALIESIN: I am carrying the robe

on Bad News

like a stank rag, at this point,

through the hallway.

MATT: Okay. While this is happening,

you make your way down.

Allura and Gilmore weren’t staying

in the castle.

They were staying

on the north side of the town.

MARISHA: As I walk towards them,

I want to throw up a Skywrite, once again.

The de Rolo crest, just alerting people.

MATT: Okay. And you do see,

there are lights coming on in the town

and guards are now going out

through the streets,

going through buildings,

searching for individuals

that match the description you’re at.

As you make your way

towards Gilmore’s home,

you hear what sounds like

a loud, heavy thud.

(boof) (boof boof) Another one,

and suddenly a crash of glass.

LAURA: I take off run -

oh, she’s by herself.

MATT: She’s there by herself.

MARISHA: Okay.

I’m going to cast Polymorph on myself.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: And I’m going to go as a mouse.

MATT: Wild Shape or Polymorph?

MARISHA: Polymorph.

MATT: Okay. (fft)

You turn into a tiny little mouse.

MARISHA: Can I fit through the door?

MATT: Yep. You (fft) skirt under the door.

The first thing you notice now

is there is a bookcase that is shattered

and there is a figure slumped

in the corner where the table is broken.

There’s a little bit of light

from a lantern that’s been knocked over

that’s starting to catch fire

on the curtains,

and as the light (whoosh)

from the flames begin to pick up,

you can see the figure

that was off to the side

suddenly lifts up in the air.

And you now see there, held aloft,

what looks to be a humanoid,

wearing dark leathers, a cloak,

and a hood (groans)

being held about four feet in the air,

tense up.

Walking out of the next room,

you see Gilmore in disarray,

a little bit of blood

streaking down the forehead there,

sweaty in the face, with his arm out.

SAM: Ooh.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: “What did you say?

That’s what I thought!”

And he closes his hand

and you watch as the figure is just -

(squelching noise)

ALL: (shocked and impressed exclamations)

MATT: - squashed in this ball of flesh,

and you can see as it slowly twists,

it’s like squeezing water out of a towel,

just blood pours out.

ALL: (noises of disgust)

TRAVIS: (gleeful laughter) Yes!

MATT: And then he releases his fingers,

and the figure (thud)

falls limp on the ground

like a crushed doll.

“(sighs)”

MARISHA: I drop Polymorph.

MATT: “(startled shout)”

MARISHA: It’s okay! It’s okay!

It’s me, Keyleth. Sorry.

MATT: “It’s not the night

to be doing that to me!”

MARISHA: (shouting) I know, I know!

(all laugh)

MATT: “(sighs) I need a drink.”

MARISHA: Gilmore.

Rakshasa. In the town.

Pretending to be you.

Trying to kill Vax.

MATT: “Right now?”

MARISHA: Yes!

Also, a bunch of fucking assassins.

MATT: He grabs you by the arm -

MARISHA: (scared) Yeah.

MATT: - and just (shfff).

There’s a rush of air

and a sparkle of purplish-blue energy.

As you guys

are walking through the tunnel,

all of a sudden (boof),

with a flash of light,

you see,

standing before you in the tunnel,

Keyleth and a very harried Gilmore,

who is -

MARISHA: (breathless) I found Gilmore.

MATT: “(pants)”

LAURA: I pull out my weapons.

TRAVIS: Are we killing this one?

MARISHA: No! This is real Gilmore!

Real Gilmore.

MATT: “Hi. (chuckles)

I’m glad to see you’re all right.”

LAURA: (laughs)

TALIESIN: (cracks up)

MATT: “Wasn’t expecting it

to be my birthday, as well. (chuckles)”

LIAM: Oh, I’m still here?

Oh, I’m still here!

SAM: Vax, Vax, quick!

LAURA: (singing) And naked!

LIAM: Let’s look at the backside instead.

This is a little awkward.

SAM: Vax, ask him a question

that only Gilmore

would know the answer to.

LIAM: Oh, sh -

What did I tell you in that tavern

the other night?

A couple of months ago, I guess.

What did I tell you?

LAURA: (laughs) Do you remember?

LIAM: Yeah, I do.

MATT: And you can see now,

he’s breathing heavy.

He’s been a little winded.

And his eyes are excited to see -

excited to see you for multiple reasons,

but excited to see that you’re alive.

But as you ask him this question,

you see his demeanor darkens a little.

“That you… had interests elsewhere.”

LIAM: Yeah, that’s Gilmore.

MARISHA: As he says this,

I do a little cantrip Fog Cloud

around Vax’s… privies.

Just a little floating fog cloud.

LIAM: Oh, not in my hair.

LAURA: A little floating cloud of -

MARISHA: Right around your waistline.

ASHLEY: A little tutu.

MARISHA: The old tutu.

LAURA: A little smoky tutu?

MARISHA: A little censor bar.

TRAVIS: Should I throw him the robe?

TALIESIN: Anime bathhouses.

TRAVIS: I thought I threw him the robe.

LAURA: He let it go.

He wanted to walk naked.

LIAM: It’s been a shit night.

Who wants to get a drink?

MARISHA: Well, wait.

MATT: “I, for one,

could really go for some heavy alcohol.”

MARISHA: Gilmore. Where’s Allura?

Where’s Allura?

MATT: “I don’t know.”

MARISHA: Gilmore, if they were after us

and they were after you,

they were probably also after Allura.

We need to make sure

that everyone on the Council is okay.

LAURA: Zahra. Kashaw.

MARISHA: All of them.

MATT: “Then let us go search.

And then we shall drink.

"Nevertheless.”

And Gilmore steps into the fog cloud -

(all laugh)

MATT: - and puts his arms

around your neck

and pulls you in,

deep into his shoulder,

and as he holds you really close,

he whispers,

“I’m glad you’re all right.”

LIAM: (quietly) I don’t say anything.

MATT: He lets you go.

LIAM: I pick the dialogue choice

in the Telltale Game, where I say -

LAURA: You say “dot dot dot”?

ASHLEY: Ellipses.

MARISHA: Say nothing?

SAM: Dot dot dot?

MATT: He pulls back with a smile

and kind of reads you.

TRAVIS: Gilmore will remember that.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: He gives a nod of understanding

and takes a step back.

“I’m sorry.”

LIAM: Oh, no no no.

MATT: “Let’s go make sure

that everyone else is all right.

"Come! Follow me.”

He turns around

and goes into a jovial jog.

You guys make your way up

back up to the castle.

Kashaw and Zahra are both fine.

You come to them and find

that their rooms were not disturbed,

as neither of them were in the -

actually, no, Kashaw was.

SAM: Where was Kashaw?

LAURA: He fought

the rakshasa to begin with.

MATT: (laughs) Yeah, no.

You do come to the point

where there are now a bunch of guards

swarmed around the outside

of Kashaw’s room.

As you push past,

there is blood everywhere.

Everywhere.

On the walls, the ceiling,

the floor, across the bed.

TRAVIS: Awesome.

MATT: And you see,

sitting on the edge of the bed,

spear in hand, shield tossed to the side,

also covered in bits of viscera,

Kashaw,

who’s currently leaning against the edge.

LIAM: What’s up, Stink-Eye?

MATT: “They knew better, right?

What else was going to happen?”

TRAVIS: How many were there?

MATT: “Oh, just one.”

TRAVIS: Whoa.

ALL: (impressed laughter)

TRAVIS: Cool. Cool. Respect.

LAURA: We’re grabbing a drink, Kashaw.

MATT: “I’ll take a shower first.

But then a drink.”

MARISHA: I grab him real fast and say,

“It was Hotis, the rakshasa.

Remember? From the Slayer’s Take.”

MATT: “I always hated cats.”

ASHLEY: I put out my hand and say,

“I’ve heard a lot about you.

It’s nice to meet you.”

MATT: “Oh. Nice to meet you, too.”

ASHLEY: I have a robe! I have on a robe!

TRAVIS: “I have on a robe,

I have on a robe!”

ASHLEY: I’m dressed! I’m dressed!

MATT: We’ll say

he closes the front a little bit.

LIAM: It’s probably way too large for you.

ASHLEY: A deep V?

MATT: Right, right.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: “It’s nice to meet you, too.

"I… don’t normally dress like this,

either, so don’t worry.”

ASHLEY: I’m dressed like this all the time.

MATT: “Huh.

"I like you.”

And he walks out.

“I’ll meet you guys in a minute.”

And he goes off to clean himself up.

Zahra’s fine.

There’s been no attack on Zahra.

LAURA: Cassandra?

TRAVIS: Allura?

MARISHA: Yeah.

Let’s split up, I guess?

TALIESIN: Let’s all meet in the sitting room

in ten minutes.

So let’s have anybody on the Council

meet there in ten minutes.

I’ll send word to the guards

to get everybody where they need to be.

If anything’s out of sort,

it will instantly reported to us.

ASHLEY: Good plan.

LIAM: I’m going to get my shit.

LAURA: I want to put on my armor.

TALIESIN: I’m also getting my shit.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: And then go find Zahra.

MARISHA: I’m going to go look for Allura.

TRAVIS: I’ll go for Cassandra with you

because I don’t trust that bitch.

LIAM: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Oh.

MATT: All right.

You guys gather your stuff.

At this time, Cassandra’s awake,

and she’s actually in the process

of dealing with the guards

that are coming back with information.

They’ve been sweeping parts of the town.

Haven’t found anyone else.

There’s been no real follow-up

to any other figures that have been found,

beyond the few select individuals.

And it’s at this time,

as you guys gather your stuff

and begin to head back out,

that Allura comes

into the front of the castle.

She comes in, hair tossed,

and she looks a little frazzled.

“Is everyone all right?”

LAURA: Yes. Kima? Is she all right?

MATT: She looks over her shoulder,

and you see Kima come walking in,

wearing what looks

like a long nightshirt.

Her maul in her hand

and dragging behind by the foot

what looks to be a mostly-mashed face

of one of the assassins

that tried to find its way

into their home.

MATT: Dragging a long trail.

MARISHA: Still alive?

MATT: No, not alive at all.

The head is caved in,

and there’s a long trail of crimson

that leads all the way

down the walkway,

down the footpath of the castle,

and disappears

towards the base of the walkway

at the north side of Whitestone.

“(grunts)”

And throws him. (repeated thuds)

Tumbles onto the ground,

smears across a bit of the stonework.

LAURA: Good work.

MATT: “You, too.

"I can see the rest of you guys,

at least, seem to be okay.”

TRAVIS: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Who did get attacked,

out of curiosity?

What happened to yours?

MARISHA: This assassin

came through my window.

TALIESIN: Did you kill him?

MARISHA: Yeah. Well, I…

actually, I don’t know.

I chucked him out the window.

He might still be alive.

TALIESIN: I’m going to

turn to a guard and say,

“Search underneath the window

of that bedroom.

"Anything you find -

"look carefully, find a body.

If you don’t find a body, find a trail.”

Good work. Windows are good.

SAM: Do “ra-kasha-kashas”

typically hire people?

Where do they come from?

Do they come with a band of merry men?

I don’t know anything about them.

LAURA: They’re just tigers. Do tigers -

MATT: Allura goes like,

“What did you say?”

SAM: Oh, there was

a “raka-sha-sha.”

TALIESIN: A rakshasa.

MARISHA: A rakshasa.

SAM: No, I think you’re saying it wrong.

LAURA: A hotis. A hotis?

MARISHA: His NAME was Hotis.

Rakshasas are devils from the Nine Hells.

MATT: “I’m quite familiar with them, yes.”

SAM: Do they travel

with assassin friends all the time?

Where do they come from?

MATT: “Well, they come

from the hells,

"but they make allies

all throughout the realm.

"They’re manipulators.

They masquerade as anyone

"that they think would help

their current intent and goal.

"They lie, they deceive, they convert.”

LIAM: Keyleth and I encountered him last.

MARISHA: And Kashaw, wherever he is.

LIAM: And Kash.

And I took his last blood,

and I heard a threat,

but I didn’t make anything of it.

MARISHA: We watched him die.

LIAM: And here he is again,

so I suspect this will happen again?

MATT: “So you slew this rakshasa tonight.”

TRAVIS: Well, this one did.

MATT: “Well, that will be vengeance

on two, then. It will be back.”

SAM: Is there a way

to prevent the “sha-ka-kan”

from coming back?

LIAM: Is there a way

to finish it off for good?

MARISHA: Permanently.

MATT: “There are a couple of ways.

All of them involve

"going to its home plane

and destroying it there.

"So unless you marvel

a trip to the Nine Hells,

"it’s going to be a bit of paranoia

for a while.

"It does take weeks, months for them

to regain their form,

"but the process is very painful for them

"and, as far as what I’ve read,

at least,

"they only really care about getting back

at the ones that took it from them.”

LAURA: So still him and you?

SAM: And now Pike.

MARISHA: Is it one of those things

where it passes off down the line,

or is this rakshasa going to be pissed

at both of them?

MATT: “Since you’re alive,

its vengeance was not sated.

"I think that’s two of you

on its shit list.”

LIAM: Allura,

would you be able to…

give us guidance

on how to get to it?

I mean, this is a group decision,

and I’m not going to be fooled

in the same way again.

I’m going to be sleeping

with my fucking knives for a while.

But this will just repeat.

How do we get to it?

MATT: “Well, for right now,

"it’s screaming its way back

to the pit of its own creation.

"It will take weeks, months

before it reforms.

"It will be very vulnerable

during that time.

"Mind you, it’s not

the most welcoming place, either.

"But (sighs) if we make a journey there

in a few weeks’ time,

"we could probably find

where it’s currently recouping,

"and slay it for good.”

LAURA: How long will that take?

MATT: “How long will what take,

the journey?

"Instantaneous.

To find it, longer.

"To survive that journey,

that is no easy task,

"as it is a place of great danger

and great evil.”

LIAM: Are you able to locate it

once it’s reformed?

MATT: “It’s possible.

"It depends on what sort of magic wards

it may have.

"I don’t know where it is.

We could certainly try.”

MARISHA: I believe it’s immune

to certain magics, correct?

MATT: “That is the issue.”

ASHLEY: Do they get any stronger

when they come back,

or are they always the same?

MATT: “All creatures don’t like to make

the same mistake twice,

"thence the why

it seems it brought friends.”

MARISHA: Speaking of those friends.

You said these rakshasas

are master manipulators.

Is there a group or an organization here

that has it out for us?

MARISHA: I mean, I’m sure many, but -

MATT: “I am certain there are many.”

MATT: “As there are a few

that have it out for me, I’m certain.”

LIAM: Were there any survivors

from our assailants?

TALIESIN: We’re looking, but none of ours.

LIAM: (sighs) Well, if there are any,

we follow it back to the source.

TALIESIN: Yes.

MARISHA: In the meantime,

I guess it’s time to drink.

LIAM: (quietly) Also ale.

TRAVIS: (quietly) Also ale.

MATT: “It will be hard

to find this rakshasa

"now or any time

in the very near future,

"as it’s still finding its seed

of corporeal form.

”(sighs) But I agree,

this has to be rectified.“

MARISHA: I still feel

like we need to reach out to Vanessa.

Let her know what’s going on.

LIAM: Maybe up the -

MARISHA: Cost of the contract?

LIAM: - asking price on that?

LAURA: (scoffs) Yeah, good luck.

LIAM: (laughs)

MATT: "I’m a bit confused,

but do what you need to do. Regardless,”

and she looks to Gilmore,

who has taken a breath now

and has pulled an evening flask

out of his night robe.

He takes a swig off of it, goes,

“I think we need to quicken

"our reinforcements

of the city.

"I think we need to make certain

that not only are we scry-proof,

"but I believe we need to find a way

to alert ourselves

"of any sort

of celestial or fiend intrusion.”

LAUAR: So it’s a fiend.

LIAM: A fiend? Also -

MATT: “The very definition.”

LIAM: This is not just a vendetta.

It knows about Whitestone.

It knows about our base of operations.

LAURA: How do you know that?

TALIESIN: Because it came here.

LIAM: It looked us in the face.

It knows we’re here.

It knows where we are.

It knows all of us.

It knows him. It knows all of us.

TALIESIN: It may not know its value,

but it does -

MATT: The rakshasa -

at this point, Gilmore is like,

“That’s actually a very valid point.

"How would it - did it meet us?

How would it know what I look like?”

MARISHA: Good point. Did it meet us?

LIAM: When was the last time you saw us

before Kiki found you?

MATT: “You mean last night?”

LIAM: The last conversation we had.

LAURA: Okay, dinner?

MATT: “Dinner would have been

the last time, yes.”

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: At this point,

Allura thinks for a second. She goes,

“I’m fairly certain

"that they can peer into the minds

of those nearby

"and can read surface thoughts.

"It may know more secrets

than you think it does,

"which makes it

that much more important

"that we eliminate it.”

LIAM: Yeah, good.

That guy is a liability.

SAM: We’ll put it on the list.

LAURA: I know.

Right next to the dragons?

MARISHA: He could be following us

for a while.

LIAM: He could rat us out to the dragons.

LAURA: (sighs)

LIAM: He’s fucking pissed off.

He wants to hurt me, and now her,

as badly as possible.

All of you matter to us.

I think the rakshasa

comes before the dragons.

Maybe not before the Vestiges,

but on the list.

TALIESIN: If we can put some manpower

towards discovering where he is

and where he lies

while we continue our search

for the Vestiges,

and then once we have a solid lead,

we can follow it through.

MATT: “I can work on that.”

ASHLEY: Can I go over to the dead body

that Kima threw

into the middle of the room

and cast Speak With Dead?

SAM: Ooh.

LIAM: (whispering) Yeah, girl.

TALIESIN: That’s a way to go.

TRAVIS: Is his face super crushed?

TRAVIS: Is it like (krsch)

Halloween mask inside-out?

MATT: Yeah, it’s just smashed inward.

TRAVIS: Well hold on,

let me reach into his mouth.

And I reach up under his nasal cavity

and I pop his face back out

just a little bit.

SAM: Ugh.

LIAM: (zombie groans)

TRAVIS: It’s like

a deflated soccer ball, right?

MATT: Yeah, it’s horrifying.

Straight-up horrifying.

ASHLEY: Five questions.

SAM: Five questions?

LIAM: I thought it was three.

Five? That’s good.

MATT: Okay. All right.

So you have five questions

you can ask the creature.

As it sits there and you guys watch

as Pike comes over in her robe

and sits down next to it.

You touch your symbol

and reach out and touch the body.

And all of a sudden,

you watch as the chest rises again.

“(rasping inhale)”

You hear this horrible sucking sound

as air is brought into the chest cavity.

He doesn’t breathe out,

he just holds the air in,

and the deformed, wrecked,

bone shard-pierced face

that once was this assassin,

which you can see now,

it looks to be

loosely elvish in appearance,

or at least there’s

some essence of elvish to its form,

but the eyes are gone,

the eyes are just mush.

It slowly sits up

and turns towards you, Pike, going,

“(rasping groans)”

ASHLEY: Who sent you?

MATT: “(slowly) Hotis…”

ASHLEY: Hotis.

MATT: “…hired us.”

ASHLEY: What was -

LAURA, LIAM, AND TRAVIS:

(overlapping) Hotis hired us.

ASHLEY: Hotis hired us.

What is your organization?

MATT: “We run The Clasp in Stillben.”

SAM: Stillben.

TRAVIS: The Clasp in Stillben.

LAURA: Sheesh.

ASHLEY: Three more questions.

TRAVIS: How did the rakshasa

know to find us here?

How did Hotis know.

ASHLEY: How did Hotis know

to find us here?

MATT: “I don’t know.

"He had information.

"He led us here.

Instructed our strikes.”

SAM: How many men?

TALIESIN: How many of them were there?

ASHLEY: How many of you were there?

MATT: “We were 6 in total.”

LIAM: You’ve got one more question.

TALIESIN: Where were they all

supposed to meet

when everything was finished?

TRAVIS: Or who would know

more than him?

LIAM: Who would know more?

LAURA: Who is his boss or something?

ASHLEY: Who his boss was?

TRAVIS: Or who does he report to?

LAURA: Within The Clasp.

Who does he report to in The Clasp?

LIAM: Who gives you your orders?

ASHLEY: Who gives you your orders?

LAURA: (whispering) Within The Clasp.

ASHLEY: Within The Clasp?

MATT: (chuckling) That’s a fine -

LAURA: I have one job on this ship.

ASHLEY: I have one job -

LAURA AND TRAVIS: It’s stupid -

ASHLEY AND TRAVIS:

(shouting) - but I’m going to do it!

(all laugh)

TRAVIS: So good.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: “Spireling Veekar. (groans)”

MARISHA: Veekar.

MATT: And with that,

the last bit of air

that had been trapped

in the chest cavity

has been utilized

and the body (rasping groan)

goes back to its still rest,

no longer moving,

no longer puppeteered

by your divine energies.

TRAVIS: I’ll take care of this.

MARISHA: Veekar.

LAURA: Spireling Veekar.

TALIESIN: So I think we have 4 dead bodies.

We’re missing 2, then?

LAURA: Wait, 4 dead bodies? Wait -

SAM: Wait, there’s Kashaw’s.

TALIESIN: Kashaw’s? Oh.

LAURA: Plus Kima’s.

TALIESIN: Mine, yours -

LAURA AND TALIESIN: Gilmore’s.

MATT: And Gilmore’s like,

“(weak chuckle)

I actually have one that’s pretty rough

"in my place right now.”

LIAM: He got Akira’d.

MATT: “I got a little angry.”

LAURA: Did you kill one or two?

MATT: “Oh, just one.”

MARISHA: So the only one

that’s missing in action

is the one

that I shoved out the window?

TALIESIN: And we’re waiting for news

on whether that one -

MATT: “Is there one that was left alive?”

MARISHA: Well, there was one

that was shoved out a window,

so hopefully he died.

MATT: “We’ll find out.”

TRAVIS: Hm. Sloppy.

LIAM: Broke his legs

and his heart never woke.

MARISHA: I heard that, Grog.

TRAVIS: Oh. (ahem) I said. Super.

LAURA: (laughs) Good save.

MATT: “All right. Drinks? Please?”

TRAVIS: Yeah.

SAM: At some point, Percy,

ask Gilmore about that robe.

TALIESIN: Oh, yeah.

I still actually have it,

it occurs to me.

I haven’t put it down yet.

MATT: (laughs) He’s holding it

like a pair of soiled underpants, all -

TALIESIN: I’ve actually

been using Bad News like a -

MARISHA: Like a surrender flag?

TALIESIN: Like spindle. Like a bindle.

MARISHA: There you go.

TALIESIN: Hobo.

MARISHA: Hobo bindle.

TALIESIN: This was given to Vax.

It was mystical.

It was attached to your skin.

LIAM: Peeling the skin off my flesh.

MATT: “(shudders)”

He takes it for a second.

He puts his hand over

and his eyes flicker for a second

with a spark of arcane energy

and he sits back.

“No, this is indeed

a cursed robe.

"It’s a Robe of Flaying.”

LAURA: A Robe of Flaying?!

TRAVIS: Flaying?

SAM AND LAURA: Gross.

ASHLEY: Yikes.

TRAVIS: Awesome.

SAM: Is it worth anything?

MATT: “(chuckles)

To the right people, maybe.”

LIAM: The Clasp, yeah.

SAM: Well, why don’t you take it?

MATT: “Oh, I don’t want to have

any hand in this type of business.

"I’m sorry. I deal

with above-the-board magical items.

"You’ve gone creative with me,

but even that was relatively harmless.

"This slowly takes the skin

off of its wearer.

"I don’t wish to have this

part of my repertoire.”

ASHLEY: If we destroy it, though,

would that hurt Vax?

MATT: “Well,

if you’ve removed it from him,

"then the enchantment’s been broken.”

SAM: So does it - do you have to -

anyone you put it on, it curses them?

LIAM: It sticks.

It’s like fucking flypaper.

SAM: Keep that robe. (laughs)

TRAVIS: Yeah.

TRAVIS: I’ll keep it.

LAURA: In the Bag of Holding?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LIAM: Yeah, it’s not a bad idea.

LAURA: Don’t play with it, Grog.

TRAVIS: Why?

LAURA: Just don’t put it on

because you think it will be fun.

LIAM: You look way better mostly naked,

so don’t -

TRAVIS: I’m not putting my bits

where Vax’s were.

I’ll just keep it in the Bag.

LIAM: Ow, that hurts my feelings.

LAURA: Percy?

TALIESIN: Yes?

LAURA: Are your guards

very well-trained in tracking?

TALIESIN: I honestly don’t know.

I haven’t been here.

But we hunt. We are…

everybody here hunts.

LAURA: Trinket has their scent.

I mean, I can send him to help.

TALIESIN: That’s a great idea.

That’s a brilliant idea. Yes, please.

We also, I might add, in theory,

have a wolf patrolling the area.

TRAVIS: Yes, Baldrick’s somewhere.

TALIESIN: And I’m sure he’s aware

that there’s a commotion.

LIAM: I walk over to Gilmore for a second.

LIAM: Shaun, you know - sorry.

MATT: “Ah. Yes?”

LIAM: Wait, wait, wait.

Hey, hand that over, big guy.

MATT: “But of course.”

LIAM: Yeah, thank you.

MATT: “You’ve certainly earned it.”

LIAM: You know everything

about everything.

MATT: “(stuttering) I wouldn’t say

I know everything about everything.”

LIAM: It’s close.

MATT: “Between the two of us,”

MATT: And he motions toward Allura.

“Pretty sure we know everything,

but she more than I.”

LIAM: I can agree with that.

We found this in a tomb.

LAURA: What are you pointing at?

SAM: His pec.

MARISHA: Your heart?

LAURA: Your boob?

LIAM: My fucking rock-hard pec.

The ARMOR. I tap the armor,

as you fucking very well knew,

Laura Bailey.

I kind of understand it.

Can you tell anything about it?

LAURA: Other than the fact

that it smells really bad?

LIAM: Shush, yeah,

it does smell bad.

Scanlan gave me some patchouli

to rub on it,

but it only does half the job.

What can you tell me about it?

It belonged to a god.

MATT: He takes a minute

and walks around you,

looking at the armor up and down.

Looking at you up and down a little bit.

But mostly at the armor.

His eyes flare a few times

with arcane sparks.

“This is a powerful Vestige,

my friend.

"This has existed for quite some time,

and you’ve -

"well, there’s certainly

a bit of dark divine energy around it.

"It looks like it has the capability

"to resist most elements

when given the instruction,

"and it safeguards

the life of the bearer

"and it looks like

there’s some sort of a -

"Tell you what. Follow me.”

LIAM: Yeah?

MATT: And he stops and he goes,

“It’s really me this time!

Follow me.”

LIAM: I know it is.

MATT: “All right.”

And he walks outside

of the front of the castle to the walkway,

stepping over the crimson smear

that once was the one assassin.

And he walks up to the edge

of the sheer cliffs

that are on each side of that walkway

and the elevated, cleaved mountain

the castle was built on.

He walks up

to the very edge with you and goes,

“Do you trust me?”

LIAM: (quietly) I do.

MATT: As soon as you look down,

you feel a thrust

as he pushes you off the cliff.

At that moment, you suddenly,

instinctively, look up

and from outside

the back of the armor, (fwwsh) -

TRAVIS: What?!

MARISHA: Oh.

MATT: - these giant black raven wings

spill out from the sides.

LAURA: Wait, so you could have flown

when you came out of the dragon?

LIAM: Only if I know how to work it.

LAURA: (gasps)

MATT: You get the sense

that this feature to the armor

was only recently -

LAURA: Oh, shit.

TRAVIS: Oh, fucking shit.

TRAVIS: Get it, archangel.

MATT: You go from falling

to swooping over the forest

on the outside of Whitestone.

SAM: Oh, he’s The Crow! He’s The Crow!

LAURA: What the fuck?

LAURA: He can fly?

HE can fucking fly?!

LIAM: After doing that, I double back

and I fly up that same cliff

and I lift Gilmore up in the sky.

MATT: “(startled noise)”

LIAM: (shouting) You fucking

brilliant bastard!

Thank you. Thank you.

(sighs) This is embarrassing.

I float us back down.

MATT: You can see he’s a little nervous,

but he’s smiling.

“(nervous laughter)”

LIAM: Sorry.

MATT: “Thank you. No, it’s all right.

I would have been fine.”

LIAM: You are a dear, dear friend.

You are a dear friend.

And I give him a big diagonal hug.

A long, strong hug.

MATT: He freezes for a moment,

still figuring out his boundaries

with the dynamic being what it is,

but eventually he gives in

and you feel his arms take you in as well,

and you guys have this long, honest,

connecting hug.

And as this happens,

the wings also wrap around

and envelop the both of you.

TRAVIS: Good moment.

LAURA: (frustrated) It’s so ridiculous.

TRAVIS: He’s alive. Let it go.

MATT: And then time seems to pass

for a minute

and as you release him,

the wings (fluttering sound)

scatter into black feathers in the wind

and disappear.

SAM: (whispering) Wow.

LAURA: (frustrated noise)

MATT: He steps away from you

and you can see

there’s just a little streak

down the side of his face.

And he reaches up

and smacks you on the cheek a little bit.

“Glad you’re all right.”

LIAM: I am a great ally to you.

And if you need any favors,

I am your friend.

MATT: “That goes both ways.

Don’t forget that.”

LAURA: I walk up and I -

LIAM: Ow! Where were you,

what the fuck - oh, you’re -

LAURA: You flying fuck. You flying fuck!

LIAM: I forgot you were a rogue. Yeah…

LAURA: (angry noise) I mean,

congratulations, it’s really cool!

LIAM: That broom is really cool.

That you stole.

LAURA: If I didn’t fall off of it.

You have fucking wings! Jesus.

I walk away.

LIAM: Vex'ahlia.

MATT: (laughs)

LIAM: I follow her and I stop her

and I give her a hug and I say,

LIAM: “I love you.”

LAURA: (angry groan)

LIAM: I love you. I love you. I love you.

(whispering) And I’ll be

less of a fuckwit lately, I promise.

LAURA: Really?

LIAM: (whispering) Yeah.

LAURA: All right.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: I love you, too.

I’m glad you’re not dead.

MARISHA: Keyleth has been

in the door frame,

watching all this happen.

I’m in the door frame.

TALIESIN: I’m slowly -

I’m going to walk in

and have a moment

and look Vax over.

LIAM: Hey, Shaun?

Once in a while? All the time?

MATT: “Oh, that’s once every dawn,

that can return to you.”

LAURA: Oh. I’m glad

I didn’t push you off the cliff!

I almost did.

Wow, good to know.

MATT: (laughing)

That would have been really funny.

LIAM: That would have been hilarious.

TRAVIS: Holy shit. Holy shit.

ASHLEY: (laughs) You dick. (gasps)

MATT: It’s for up to an hour,

it can last, just so you’re aware.

But once per day,

you give yourself a fly speed of 60.

LIAM: 60. Same speed as my sister.

LAURA: No, I’m less, aren’t I?

LIAM: Thank you, Shaun-slash-Matt.

TALIESIN: There’s one last thing.

And I walk up and I look you over

and I pull out

the raven head cloak clasp

and I pin it to hold the cloak together.

And it’s very deep, pitted silver

with a slight ruby tinge to it.

And it smells FABULOUS.

And it smells better

the more you sweat.

And it smells

of the Raven Queen’s temple.

Now talk to Keyleth.

I’m counting on you. Good luck.

And I walk away.

LIAM: (yelling after him)

You’re hard to read, man!

TALIESIN: I know!

TRAVIS: Cask of ale is out

and the ale is flowing.

LAURA: Oh, shit! Shit.

Tracking the guy.

SAM: Have the guards reported yet?

MATT: By this time,

some of the guards have come back,

reporting that they haven’t

seen anything yet.

There are folks that were following

the tracks into the forest,

but the tracks have mostly gone cold.

Whoever it is knows how to not be found.

It’s part of their job.

SAM: You could spend the night

tracking him.

LAURA: I could.

SAM: Or we could just drink.

MARISHA: Or we could just drink.

We know who the fucker was.

We know who he’s going back to.

TRAVIS: Yep.

LAURA: We know he’s going

back to Stillben.

MARISHA: To Spireling Veekar.

We know where he’s headed.

TALIESIN: You guys

are going to drink for a bit?

LIAM: I’ll do whatever you do.

TALIESIN: I’m going to go out

past the wall

and see if I can yell for the wolf.

MARISHA: Galdrick.

TALIESIN: Galdrick.

MATT: Galdrick. All right.

TALIESIN: I’m bringing a swath

from one of the -

MATT: Okay. You shout out

for about 10, 15 minutes or so

before you hear a distant howl. (howl)

TALIESIN: Galdrick!

MATT: A few more moments pass

before you hear (panting).

Coming up

from the outside of the forest,

the large gray dark wolf.

(padding footfalls)

TALIESIN: I show the blood-soaked chunk.

MATT: “(sniffs)”

TALIESIN: There were six.

Now there’s one.

If you find him,

we would be forever grateful.

MATT: “(licks chops)”

Licks his deep,

pearly-white bladed incisors

and turns around and -

“(grunts)” -

takes off into the forest

at triple-speed.

TALIESIN: Now I’m going to go up

and have a drink.

TRAVIS: Triple-speed, damn.

That’s a fast-ass wolf.

MATT: All right.

You all at these twilight hours

find yourselves gathering

your friends and allies

for a long-needed drink

until the sun begins to rise.

You all appreciate the friendship

that you’ve maintained,

the survival of those

that were endangered,

and eventually find yourself,

rather tipsy,

finding your way back to bed,

this time with quadruple the guards

at the door -

LAURA: Fully armored.

MATT: - of each of your rooms, resting.

MATT: We’ll take a quick break.

We’ll be back here

to get to the next bit of this episode.

See you guys here in a few minutes.

Break
[Critical Role resumes at 2:34:15]

Part II
MATT: Welcome back! So.

As you guys find yourself

having a good night’s sleep,

waking up restfully around midday

to the early afternoon here in Whitestone.

Everyone except for you, Vax.

You, as you went to sleep, found,

as opposed to a restful night,

especially given the circumstance,

a perpetual onslaught

of terrible nightmares

recapping the events of the night before

with alternate possibilities,

looking and seeing Gilmore

plunging the blade into your stomach,

seeing your friends and family

torn apart by demons

called forth by this rakshasa

returning for vengeance.

You were tossing and turning

and woke up sweaty.

Unfortunately, you do not

get the benefits of a full rest.

So you’re still at the hit point value

that you had before.

LIAM: And I can’t use hit dice, right?

ASHLEY: What?

MATT: You can use hit dice.

LIAM: I can use hit dice?

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: I can also heal you.

LIAM: I think it might be more than that.

I feel weird. I feel really weird.

I’m going to have some -

I’m going to have -

What’s the D&D term for Bloody Mary?

I need a mimosa or a Bloody Mary

and I’m going to take a rest.

MARISHA: A little hair of the dog?

LIAM: And use some hit dice.

TRAVIS: Technically, hair of the dog

would be poisoning him again this morning.

MARISHA: Oh, yeah. Yeah.

TRAVIS: Which we can do.

MARISHA: Which we could do.

You never know.

MATT: You actually take the time

to go ahead and rest up,

and even then,

your body’s just restless.

LIAM: Hit dice does nothing?

MATT: You find yourself

unable to spend those, either.

You’re basically rocking in place

and playing over the imagery in your mind

over and over again,

and there’s a perpetual cold sweat

across your brow.

LAURA: Can I go knock on his door

in the morning?

LAURA: Can I knock?

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: Brother?

LIAM: What?

LAURA: Sorry. I don’t mean to disturb you.

I just feel really guilty.

I just wanted to say sorry

for being mad at you

for being able to fly,

because I’m actually

really impressed and proud of you,

and I’m glad you’re not dead.

LAURA: Is all I wanted to say.

LIAM: I open the door, scratching my arm.

LAURA: What the fuck is wrong with you?

LIAM: I don’t feel very well.

LAURA: You smell better.

LIAM: (sighs) I’m just

going to ignore that.

Could you do me a favor,

if you really feel so special to me.

Could you get Allura for me, maybe?

Send Allura to my room.

LAURA: I mean, yeah,

she’s not in the castle, but I can find -

LIAM: Where does she - where is -

yeah, you’ve got a broom.

LIAM: Could you go fly over there?

LAURA: Yeah, no fucking -

LIAM: You can fly

as much as you want, all day.

LIAM: All day long, right?

LAURA: This is true.

LAURA: I will go find Allura for you

as an apology

for being a dick last night.

And I fly off

and I go try to find Allura.

MATT: You come to Allura’s home -

LIAM: I go have diarrhea

in the chamber pot in my room.

MATT: Okay. Ugh.

TRAVIS: Talk to your daggers

while you do it.

MARISHA: (laughs) Yeah.

MATT: You make your way back to the house

where Allura’s been staying

and knock on the door.

Door opens. Kima’s there.

LAURA: Oh. Hi, dear.

MATT: “Hi. You guys rest okay?

Everything all right?”

LAURA: Oh, yes -

MATT: “Any problems?”

MATT: She grabs her maul

from the side of the door.

LAURA: No, no, everything’s great.

Is Allura in here, as well?

MATT: “Yeah, she’s -

would you like some coffee?”

LAURA: I would love some.

MATT: As you come inside,

you can smell coffee brewing.

MARISHA: I’ve got time.

MATT: You see Allura

comes out of the kitchen area

of this home that she’s staying in.

“Oh, hi!”

LAURA: Hi!

MATT: “I’ll get another cup.”

LAURA: Thank you.

MATT: And she leaves.

LIAM: Does she have

that beautiful but messy morning hair

that takes two hours to prep for a movie?

MATT: Actually, no. Her hair is perfect.

MARISHA: Oh, yeah. I’m sure.

LAURA: Of course it is.

LIAM: Fucking wizards.

LAURA: Prestidigitation.

(all laugh)

MARISHA: Fucking blow-outs

every morning.

MATT: No, she - yeah.

Way too well put together

for being this early

in the conscious day.

LAURA: I look at Kima.

How the fuck does she do it?

MATT: “I know, you’re telling me, right?”

LAURA: Right?

MATT: “It’s obnoxious. (sighs)”

LIAM: (singing) I say bitch…

MARISHA: (cracks up)

MATT: She brings coffee back

and sets it in the center

of this serving table for guests.

You start drinking the coffee.

It’s very well put on, nice and sweet.

“So, what -”

LAURA: Oh! I forgot.

I came here for a reason.

My brother is shaken up from last night,

and I think he might be

a little worried about -

I don’t know, he sent me to find you.

I’m not exactly sure what’s going on,

but he looked terrible,

and he thought

maybe you would be able to help?

MATT: “It was a very rough night.”

LIAM: I mean, you’re not a cleric, but -

I don’t know,

he seemed to think

he could use your help.

MATT: “Let’s go have a look, then.”

And so they go ahead

and they walk back with you.

LAURA: I’m going to catch up.

You get a head start.

I’m just going to get some more coffee.

MATT: (laughs) It’s good coffee.

TRAVIS: You hear a whisper

from the coffee mug saying, “I own you.”

(all laugh)

LAURA: I know you do, darling.

I know you do.

ASHLEY: You didn’t perception check

the cup!

LIAM: Find my dominoes. They’re here.

ASHLEY: What’s he looking up?

LAURA: I don’t know.

MATT: Eventually,

you’ve found your way

wandering through the hall

to get some food, sunken sockets.

Grog passes by you in the hallway,

and you see Vax,

hand against the wall,

walking by,

looking dazed and a little weary.

TRAVIS: You all right, mate?

LIAM: I’ve got the shits.

TRAVIS: Oh. Like, the shits or the twirls?

LIAM: Bad - what’s the difference?

TRAVIS: The shits it’s just one end,

the other, both.

North, south, all at the same time.

It’s like a relay race.

LIAM: I know what you mean now. Yes.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LIAM: Well, I was just - you know,

I might be crossing that threshold.

And I jump into a side door -

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: - and send it out both sides.

Two exits, no waiting.

MATT: Oh.

TRAVIS: (laughing) Oh, shit. Amazing.

ASHLEY: (dryly) Wow,

I’ve never heard of that.

MATT: You proudly hear,

through the doorway.

LIAM: This happened to me

when I was six, by the way.

I’m talking about Liam, not Vax.

TRAVIS: If you’ve had the twirls,

you never forget them.

MATT: All right. As time passes,

eventually your sister, Allura, and Kima

make their way towards you

to go ahead and check in.

LAURA: Is he still in the toilet

or did he get out yet?

MATT: He’s made his way out.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Allura takes a look at you.

“You certainly don’t look well.”

LIAM: (hoarsely) I’m having really bad -

I had bad dreams all night long.

I relived the moment from last night

and I’ve got really bad…

bathroom etiquette.

MATT: “It might be

lingering enchantment from the robe.

"Let me try something.”

And she pulls back

and thumbs mentally

through some sort of index in her head

and brings her hand up.

“Eras to no est.”

And begins drawing

this strange glyph in the air,

that where her finger traces,

you can see a slight sparkle falls behind

before it forges some sort of a letter

that you don’t recognize,

and it passes through you (foomf),

and as it gets through, you can’t help

but to get pushed back for a second.

“Do you feel any different?”

LIAM: (fart noise)

MATT: No change,

from what you can tell.

Still just… bad place.

LIAM: Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

(sighs) I’m new to this, but -

Can I cast Lay on Hands on myself?

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: Pray to my god.

It’s the worst. Can you help?

MATT: The effect hits

and intends to remove any poison,

disease circumstance.

No change in physical presence.

LIAM: (whispering) Fuck.

ASHLEY: (whispering) What the fuck?

MATT: “Kima, have you any ideas?”

“Here! Let me have a look at you.”

She pulls you down to her position,

just pushing your eyelids open.

TRAVIS: Yeah, be very thorough.

MATT: “Grog, do you

want to help me with this?”

TRAVIS: Yep, absolutely.

Open your mouth, stick out your tongue.

LIAM: You’re not

going to slip me the digit, are you?

TRAVIS: Stick out your tongue!

MATT: “I’m not going to.”

TRAVIS: I grab his tongue.

LIAM: Aaah!

TRAVIS: Kima, you see anything in there?

Any bumps? Mumps?

LIAM: (groans)

MATT: “Just seems tired to me.”

TRAVIS: Pull his tongue a little bit more.

LIAM: Aaah! (garbled) Grog!

TRAVIS: I release, I release.

LIAM: Ohhh, fuck.

ASHLEY: Can I wake up

and come out into the hallway?

MARISHA: I’ll join Pike.

MATT: You guys walk out

and see as Allura sits back

with a slight chuckle next to Vex,

as you see both Grog and Kima

manhandling a very exhausted-looking Vax

in the center of the hallway.

LIAM: Oh, it’s funny to you, eh?

ASHLEY: What are you guys looking for?

TRAVIS: Oh, Vax doesn’t feel well.

He shit and puked

all over the area in the back.

MARISHA: Oh no!

ASHLEY: Can I check him?

MARISHA: Was it the crab cakes?

LIAM: I didn’t have those.

MATT: You want to make a Medicine check?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I ate them, and I was fine.

MARISHA: Really?

The crab cakes messed with me a little.

SAM: I’m reading this whole time.

Just reading and reading.

MATT: You hear this echo in the distance

of him shitting himself.

And you’re like, “eh.”

ASHLEY: 23.

MATT: 23. You push Kima aside

and take a very intense look at his body.

ASHLEY: Move aside, move aside, move aside.

MATT: “Oh.”

Very intense look over.

Physically, there does not appear

to be any ailment to him, whatsoever.

There are traces of exhaustion in him,

and you do have a point of exhaustion,

by the way, for a lack of evening’s rest.

But there’s no signs

of onset of splotchiness or diseases.

There’s no pulsing

or darkened vein marks.

Nothing physical.

ASHLEY: No poison?

MARISHA: What did you try on him, Pike?

ASHLEY: Medicine check.

LAURA: Are you cursed? Is he cursed?

MARISHA: I go up to Vax.

Does he still have the brooch on?

MATT: The brooch

that was given to him by Percy.

MARISHA: I look at it.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: I can tell you what is in there.

It’s nothing fancy.

TRAVIS: You’re killing him.

MARISHA: Is this the skull I gave you?

TALIESIN: Well, it’s a cast of -

the skull you gave me is still in my bag.

MARISHA: You cast it? Wow.

TALIESIN: I did.

MARISHA: That’s impressive.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

LAURA: My brother, puking his guts out.

MARISHA: Sorry.

LIAM: Not right now (retch).

TALIESIN: Oh, god.

MARISHA: Ooh. Allura, what did you try?

TALIESIN: Did he just throw up everywhere?

LIAM: No, I stopped it.

LIAM: (moans)

TALIESIN: Let it out. Let it out.

MATT: “I attempted to dispel,

"in case there was any spell

that was still sustained on him.”

MARISHA: Kima, did you try Restoration?

MATT: Kima goes,

“Not really my specialty

at the moment. My apologies.”

ASHLEY: I’ll do it. I’ll do it.

MARISHA: I’ve got

Greater Restoration learned.

ASHLEY: We could try.

MARISHA: Pike and I will tag-team

a Greater Restoration.

MATT: All righty.

LIAM: (groans)

TRAVIS: Percy, if you’re feeling gross,

you can imagine -

go examine the leftovers over there.

TALIESIN: Is there some vomit

in the corner?

TRAVIS: Yep, yep. Just make sure

you crawl in on your hands and knees.

TALIESIN: I’m going to go poke at it

just to see if there’s anything in there

that looks funny.

LIAM: Only some of it is vomit.

TALIESIN: I’m well-aware.

I have siblings, I’ve seen this before.

LIAM: (laughs)

MATT: And so as Percy has wandered off

at this time,

you guys both hold hands and channel,

through both of your abilities,

the Greater Restoration spell.

Suddenly,

you feel like this dark hook

that was in the center of your being

is lifted.

And as it dissipates,

you’re still exhausted,

and still lost

an entire evening’s worth of rest,

but whatever was keeping you

in that nightmarish realm of stasis

seems to have been dispelled.

LIAM: How’s my intestines?

MATT: Better. Tired.

Your midsection is very sore

from the constant flexing.

MARISHA: Did Pike and I notice anything

when we ripped out this darkness

from his chest?

MATT: You gather

that there was some curse

that had taken hold of his body.

LAURA: Ah! He was cursed.

ASHLEY: Yeah, he was cursed.

MARISHA: Like, by the rakshasa, probably?

MATT: You gather,

probably something to do

with the rakshasa, yeah.

LAURA: Grog, can I have your jug

for a moment?

TRAVIS: Why?

LAURA: I just want to get some water.

TRAVIS: What kind of water?

LAURA: Regular-ass water.

TRAVIS: I’ll do it.

LAURA: Not ass-water. Just regular water.

TRAVIS: Could I have

some ass-water, please?

LAURA: No, no. Just regular water, Grog.

ASHLEY: No, Grog.

TRAVIS: Regular water, please?

MATT: Jug fills up with clear, cool water.

LAURA: Drink this.

LIAM: All of it?!

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Are you sure

that won’t make me throw up, as well?

LAURA: You’re very dehydrated, seriously.

ASHLEY: As much as you can.

TALIESIN: There’s no signs of poisoning

in any of the remains, is there?

LIAM: (gulping sounds)

MATT: No. In fact,

you spend probably a good 3 to 4 minutes

pushing through Vax refuse

while nobody else has thought

to actually come and stop you

when they’ve already figured out

what the problem was.

TALIESIN: That’s fine.

MARISHA: Hey, Percy!

TRAVIS: He still feels bad, keep looking!

MARISHA: Hey, Percy, you find anything?

MARISHA: Sorry, haven’t found

anything yet, Percy.

Keep going. It might be clues.

TALIESIN: It will take -

if I don’t see anything in 3 minutes -

MATT: Roll a medicine check.

(all laugh)

TALIESIN: Awful people.

That’s a 14.

TRAVIS: Find a toy car…

MATT: It seems

fairly standard bile and excrement.

TALIESIN: Nothing, nothing, no poison.

MARISHA: Find anything, Percy?

TALIESIN: (annoyed) No.

MARISHA: Oh.

Maybe you should keep looking.

MATT: No signs of parasites, nothing.

LIAM: Are there any feathers?

LAURA: Percival!

MATT: There is one feather.

MARISHA: Do a litmus test.

Is it basic or acid? We don’t know.

LAURA: Percival, stop. He was cursed.

TALIESIN: I can actually have everybody

killed in their sleep.

This is actually one of the perks

of sleeping here.

I don’t even have to do it myself.

I come out and I’m -

TRAVIS: Are you done with the jug?

Can I have that back, please?

TALIESIN: (shudders)

TRAVIS: Thank you.

LIAM: Grog, does that thing make mimosas?

LAURA: Oh!

MARISHA: Ooh!

TRAVIS: Mimosas?

LAURA: Or Bloody Marys?

TALIESIN: Mimosas.

TRAVIS: Well, there’s one way

to find out. Mimosas, please.

MATT: No effect.

TRAVIS: Shit.

LAURA: Ask for Bloody Marys. Bloody Marys.

TRAVIS: Bloody Marys, please.

MATT: No effect.

TRAVIS: Fuck!

LAURA: Does it not work anymore?

Ask for mayonnaise.

TRAVIS: Look, you put

a lot of stress on it, all right?

It made your ass-water just fine.

ASHLEY: Can you ask for some ale?

TRAVIS: No, I think it only works

for a little bit every day.

LAURA: Aw.

TRAVIS: You could try it.

ASHLEY: Ale?

LAURA: Please.

MATT: (fwssh) Fills with dark ale.

TRAVIS: Holy shit, you’re magic!

MARISHA: Oh, we just found a loophole!

LAURA: Good job!

TRAVIS: (laughing) Monster magic!

ASHLEY: I drink some

and then pass it over.

SAM: Does it make mixed drinks?

TALIESIN: We hardly can make cocktails.

LAURA: Oh, that’s probably bad for you

right now, but that’s all right.

TALIESIN: No, this breakfast beer

is perfectly reasonable.

MARISHA: It needs to go

to a bartending class.

ASHLEY: Hair of the wolf.

TALIESIN: His face touched that.

I’m just dipping in.

LIAM: So studious.

TRAVIS: Oh, you’re reading.

MATT: At this point,

you hear a guard’s voice shout,

“Hail, Vox Machina!

Downstairs, please.”

TALIESIN: Oh, god.

TRAVIS: We did your - give me the jug.

Don’t you fucking hold onto that, Percy,

you give it back right now.

(all laugh)

TALIESIN: I take one more big sip

and toss it at him.

LIAM: Oh, catch it!

TRAVIS: I catch it.

MATT: Scanlan,

are you still reading this morning?

SAM: I mean, I’d tell everyone,

“Call me if it’s important.

I’ve got to do this.”

MATT: Okay.

Did you get a full night’s rest, though?

SAM: I did.

MATT: Okay, yeah,

so your exhaustion point is gone.

All right. So you guys head downstairs.

TRAVIS: Yep.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: As you get there,

the front gates to Whitestone castle -

no, the front doors

to the main entranceway

are partially open

and the guards are waiting there

as you see a shadow step in

from the outside daylight.

LAURA: It’s a guy?

MARISHA: I light up my hands in defense.

MATT: You see step inside

to the center of the castle,

a very large, dark-furred wolf

carrying something within his jaws.

TRAVIS: Good boy.

MATT: Drops down on the ground

another dark-cloaked figure.

MARISHA: Is he still alive?

MATT: He is not alive.

There is a snapped neck

on this individual.

LAURA: Good job!

MATT: You can see a series of scrapes

across the face.

This person, as you go and inspect,

had been rushing quickly

through the forest

and had taken a number of small injuries

in the haste to escape.

However, could not escape

the ever-watching vigil.

ASHLEY: Ah!

LAURA: Fuck, yeah.

TRAVIS: I mean, we might as well

let him keep his prize.

TALIESIN: Oh, it’s all his.

Check the body for bits

and then the rest is his.

LAURA: I want to check the body

to see if I can find anything useful.

MATT: Okay, yeah.

You actually find about 320 gold pieces

on the body.

SAM: Did we inspect

any of the other bodies?

MARISHA: No, we didn’t.

LAURA: There was a lot going on.

MATT: You find 6 vials of poison.

LAURA: Whoa.

LIAM: Give that shit to me.

SAM: What kind? Just poison?

MARISHA: Fuck yeah.

MATT: You’re not too familiar

with poisons.

Vax would be.

He could have a look at it.

LAURA: And you said 300 gold?

TRAVIS: 320.

MATT: 300 gold.

MATT: And you find what looks to be

a fist-sized glass sphere.

LAURA: A what-sized glass sphere?

MARISHA: Glass sphere?

MATT: Fist-sized glass sphere,

about that big.

TALIESIN: It might be a gazing sphere.

Be careful. Keep it under cover.

Keep it wrapped in something.

LIAM: I want to walk out

towards our beast here

and hold out my hand.

MATT: He walks up to you. (sniffs)

Smells your hand, and steps into it.

He head-butts the palm of your hand

and then runs his head under it.

ASHLEY: Oh. Percy, can I touch him?

MATT: There’s a familiar scent.

You can see

there’s an immediate familiarity with you

that wasn’t there before.

LAURA: Oh, it’s the Raven Queen.

Her champion.

LIAM: I just scrooch under his giant neck.

You want to be friends with me?

MATT: You can see the eyes,

dark and piercing into you.

“(grunts)”

LIAM: You be strong, I’ll be fast.

You be strong and fast.

I’ll be fast.

(shooka shooka shooka)

TRAVIS: Go give him a pet, Pike.

ASHLEY: Can I put my hand out to him?

MATT: He glances towards you.

LIAM: She’s all right. She’s all right.

MATT: You put your hand out?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: “(sniff sniff)”

He sniffs your hand.

MATT: “(snorts)”

ASHLEY: Oh!

ASHLEY: Can I try scratching at his ear?

MATT: You do,

and he seems to begrudgingly give into it.

ASHLEY: (laughs) I go,

“Ohhh.”

(all laugh)

ASHLEY: I love him.

TRAVIS: Sourpuss.

LAURA: Can I check out the sphere

that I’m looking at?

TRAVIS: Baldrick, thank you.

You are free to do with this as you will.

MATT: “(grunt, chomp)”

He picks it up in his jaws again

and starts walking outside.

Spits it on the outside of the grounds,

rolling off the edge.

It doesn’t go completely off,

but one of the legs

is dangling off the side,

and the guards wait there,

then take it and pull it away.

The wolf’s not going to eat

the dead body.

But it’s done. He’s done his job.

He takes it out of the castle,

gets it out of your way,

and then begins to step back down

the walkway path south of the castle,

making his way back towards Whitestone

and the surrounding forest.

TALIESIN: Good boy. Good boy.

LAURA: I shake it.

MATT: You shake it.

You actually look inside.

There’s a cloudy liquid

at the center of it.

When it was at rest,

it had no real motion,

but as you shake it,

it swirls on the inside.

LAURA: Oh, shit!

I made something happen.

LIAM: Bloop. Outlook shady.

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: You found a magic 8-ball!

TRAVIS: Signs point to yes.

LIAM: (laughs)

TALIESIN: We’ll stop by Gilmore’s

on our way back up to the front hall.

LAURA: Allura, do you know what this is?

MATT: She takes a look at it.

There’s a little sparkle

of arcane energy in her eyes again.

You’re starting to get the theme here.

There is a specific spell that she’s using

to identify these objects.

You’ve seen it done before.

She takes a look at it and goes,

“Well, I can see

why this would be very useful

"for a member of the Clasp.

"It’s a Scrying Eye.”

MATT: And she throws it back to you.

LAURA: (gasps)

MARISHA: It’s a scry - what?

LIAM AND SAM: A Scrying Eye.

LAURA: A Scrying Eye?

MARISHA: Oh, yeah. Sure.

MATT: When you take, essentially,

10 minutes to focus on the eye,

you can scry as per the spell.

But it can only be used for 10 minutes

and it cannot be used until the next dawn.

MARISHA: Can it be used by anybody?

MATT: Well, in theory.

You’ll have to find out.

TALIESIN: And what can it see, precisely?

LAURA: This fist-sized glass sphere -

MATT: Anything a scrying spell could.

MARISHA: It works like scrying.

LAURA: You can scry…

Oh, you can scry for anything.

MATT: As per the spell. Once per day.

LIAM: What she does to waste a spell,

you can do as a freebie.

And you’re so nosy,

so it’s perfect for you.

LAURA: It actually is really perfect.

TALIESIN: That’s disquieting. Excellent.

LAURA: I really, really like this thing.

MATT: You can see Allura.

Her face gets a little stern at this.

“This is precisely the issue

we have here.

"If they could scry information,

anyone can.

"Which is why

I’m going to get with Gilmore

"and go and get together with the rest

of the arcane minds here in Whitestone,

"and we’re going to try to ward this place

from any sort of intrusion.

"If possible, I’d like to blanket

this entire area with illusion.

"I’d like it so those who should not know

that Whitestone even exists do not.”

LIAM: Is there anything we can do to help?

MATT: “Honestly, do what you’re doing.

"Although, I may need some aid

from you, there.”

And she looks towards you, Pike,

and says,

“If we’re going to find out

where this rakshasa is

"and how to head it off at the pass

in the coming weeks,

"I think your divine nature

would be of great aid.

"You and Keeper Yennan.

Between the two of you,

"I think we could map out

a plot to head it off at the pass,

"and when you return and are ready,

head into the hells ourselves

"and take it down

while there’s still time.”

ASHLEY: I would be glad to help.

MATT: “All right.”

ASHLEY: It’s okay.

I can come back to you guys at any time.

LIAM: What do you mean?

MARISHA: But you’re so important, Pike.

ASHLEY: Well, I don’t know.

MARISHA: We tend to need you a lot.

LAURA: We can give her one of the stones.

MARISHA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Any time you need me.

(laughs) Ish. I will try to be there.

LAURA: (laughs)

LIAM: Here. You take this.

ASHLEY: A sending stone?

LIAM: Should you need us.

LAURA: Yeah, should you need us.

ASHLEY: Oh.

MARISHA: I have the other one, currently.

ASHLEY: Okay. I’ll keep this with me.

MARISHA: Okay.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TRAVIS: Yeah,

you keep practicing to be a monster.

ASHLEY: Okay, I will, Grog.

TRAVIS: Okay.

ASHLEY: I’m a monster!

TRAVIS: Yeah!

MATT: So you write down “gate stone”

on your inventory.

TALIESIN: (quietly) She’s staying

in Whitestone while we do our work.

(louder) Thank you

for keeping my home safe.

ASHLEY: You’re welcome.

TALIESIN: Thank you. (sighs)

MARISHA: Well,

at least it’s not as far as Vasselheim.

TRAVIS: No.

LAURA: That’s true.

ASHLEY: No, it’s not.

TALIESIN: We won’t be gone long.

ASHLEY: No. And maybe

I’ll meet you very soon.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: I’ll just help out where I can.

We got him once. I can get him again.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: (cackles)

ASHLEY: (laughs)

MATT: “As you can.”

TRAVIS: Dragon-slayer

and Rakshasa-slayer.

ASHLEY: I’m a monster.

MATT: “All right.

Where are you off to, then?”

TALIESIN: I’d say one more

proper night’s sleep,

then into the Feywild.

LAURA: The Feywild.

TRAVIS: Feywild?

TALIESIN: We’ve seen

what the Vestiges can be.

I think they’re…

terribly important.

And we can return

from the Feywild immediately

and in theory,

be right back here when we’re finished,

and perhaps by then

we’ll have an avenue of attack

to this rakshasa.

LAURA: And we can just pop on in there

because of you, Keyleth.

MARISHA: Yes.

LIAM: We’re going to make you a beast.

LAURA: Oh. Sure.

MARISHA: Beefing up the twins.

LIAM: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Beast.

LAURA: Let’s find it.

MARISHA: I go up to Pike.

MARISHA: Can we take a quick walk?

ASHLEY: Of course.

MARISHA: Before we take off?

TALIESIN: I figure we would take

one full night’s sleep -

MARISHA: Before I take us in? Okay.

TALIESIN: We leave at dawn?

ASHLEY: We plan at dawn?

MARISHA: Plan at dawn? (laughs)

TALIESIN: We plan at dawn.

MARISHA: We plan to leave at dawn.

TALIESIN: We plan to leave at dawn.

TRAVIS: You thought it was stupid

when I said it, but what?

ASHLEY: They learned.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Right on thirty is fine,

if you say 9:00, 9:30.

MARISHA: Yeah. 9:00, 9:30.

We plan ahead.

TALIESIN: Barring traffic.

MARISHA: Okay,

I’m going to take a walk with Pike.

LAURA: You just have a Trapper-Keeper

full of appointments?

MATT: You just walk down the path

from Whitestone castle?

MARISHA: Yeah, whatever.

We take a nice stroll around the Sun Tree.

MATT: All right, so you guys

start making your way

down towards Whitestone proper.

As you walk along the way…

MARISHA: I don’t know, really,

how to start this conversation. (sighs)

I guess I just wanted to talk to you,

and maybe you can give

a little bit of insight

and help clear my head.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: And I didn’t think about it

until we were in Scanlan’s spa the other day,

and you said you were really confused,

and I’m really confused,

and I didn’t know you were confused

because I feel like

if I knew you were confused,

then I wouldn’t feel so bad

about being confused

because we’re confused together.

ASHLEY: I feel confused… all the time.

MARISHA: Do you? I do, too!

ASHLEY: Yes!

ASHLEY: Just in a perpetual state

of confusion.

MARISHA: The world is so big.

ASHLEY: I think that’s just what life is.

MARISHA: (sighs) Right.

The world’s really big.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: Very confusing.

LAURA AND LIAM: (laugh)

MARISHA: I guess I just -

I’ve always respected you

and looked up to you, and…

you’re a cleric of Sarenrae,

but you still seem to be

very much in control

of your life and your destiny,

and you seem to know

where you’re going.

(boxes fall offscreen)

MARISHA: Fucking…

(shouts) Assassin!

MATT: You look around and you see

a boy holding a wheelbarrow nearby

is picking up a bunch of fruit

that had fallen out.

“I’m terribly sorry.

Didn’t mean to bother you.”

He puts them back in

and keeps wheeling on.

ASHLEY: It’s all right. It’s okay.

MARISHA: I’ve always loved,

“My cabbages!”

MATT: “My cabbages!” Yes.

MARISHA: Anyway,

Sorry, it was distract - loud noises.

ASHLEY: It’s okay.

I feel like maybe I just look that way,

because I don’t feel like

I have much of anything together,

or know where I’m going.

MARISHA: (laughs) I guess

that’s probably all of us.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: I guess I just -

I’m a little curious

on how your relationship

with Sarenrae works,

because it doesn’t necessarily

seem like she… is in control of you.

ASHLEY: No.

MARISHA: Or has dominion over you.

ASHLEY: It’s an interesting thing.

I think…

She just helps when we need her,

or when I need her,

and I think for the rest of the time,

She just -

MARISHA: Does her own thing?

ASHLEY: - does her own thing.

MARISHA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: It was interesting

going to the Temple

of the Raven Queen.

She seems… very interesting to me.

MARISHA: How do you mean?

ASHLEY: I don’t know.

MARISHA: Like more…

ASHLEY: She’s just very involved.

MARISHA: Involved? Yeah.

ASHLEY: But maybe that’s -

maybe that’s because Vax

has fully given himself to Her.

MARISHA: Would you say

you haven’t fully given yourself

to Sarenrae?

ASHLEY: (hesitantly) I think I try to,

but there’s always

that little part of me that thinks…

or has doubt?

So I don’t know.

MARISHA: Growing up in the Ashari tribe,

we were taught

that the gods mind their own business

and we mind our own.

I don’t have any disrespect for them,

but also want to… tread lightly.

ASHLEY: Yeah. I think that’s

a very good way to handle it.

MARISHA: Okay. I don’t know.

I guess I don’t know

what I really wanted to find.

I guess misery loves company.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: It feels better

knowing I’m not the only one confused.

ASHLEY: Yes, there are two confused souls

in the world.

I’m sure there are so many more.

MARISHA: I confuse you?

ASHLEY: Yeah. (laughs) Hugs.

MARISHA: Hugs. Well.

I’m beginning to get the idea

that we’re going to be

intermingling with gods

a little bit more, so.

ASHLEY: I think we will.

MARISHA: I guess it’s something

I’m going to have to

start getting comfortable with.

ASHLEY: I think you should.

And I think…

you should

get comfortable with Vax.

LAURA: (laughs)

MARISHA: (embarrassed) Oh!

ASHLEY: I think he really fancies you.

MARISHA: (weakly) Uh-huh?

ASHLEY: But don’t be scared.

MARISHA: I’m so terrified.

ASHLEY: Just know

that things are not forever…

MARISHA: (sighs) I think that’s my fear.

ASHLEY: And just have fun, you know?

MARISHA: (weak laughter)

I haven’t had fun in a long time.

ASHLEY: Well, you should.

MARISHA: I should.

ASHLEY: We all need a little fun.

(chuckles)

Well, I’ll see you very soon.

MARISHA: You’re always with us,

wherever we go.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: (sighs)

ASHLEY: I love you.

MARISHA: I love you.

SAM: When I heard she was leaving,

I went out looking for Pike,

and I’ve come up to where they are.

MATT: They’re both standing

at the northern base of the Sun Tree

in the center of the town square.

You see them hugging

and give each other a kiss on the cheek.

SAM: (out of breath) Oh, sorry.

MARISHA: (shouting) Assassin!

SAM: No, no, it’s me.

It’s me. It’s me. Sorry. Sorry.

ASHLEY: Oh.

MARISHA: Haa - sure.

SAM: There was

a very frightened child over there

with a bunch of fruit.

(all laugh)

ASHLEY: Oh, he just -

MARISHA: I might have

screamed in his face.

ASHLEY: Yeah, we thought

he was an assassin.

MARISHA: Assassin, yeah.

SAM: He was crying.

SAM: Maybe you should go -

here, take a gold piece.

Why don’t you go

buy something from him?

MARISHA: Okay, yeah.

What do you want?

You want some limes?

Some grapefruit?

SAM: I love a good lime.

MARISHA: You love a good lime?

I’ll go to him and get some limes.

ASHLEY: See if he has a Choco Taco or -

MARISHA: Yeah, sure, yeah!

Yeah, yeah, okay.

I’m going to go to the kid.

MATT: Choco Taco, by the way,

is Draconic

for a fine cheese sandwich

in Wildmount.

It’s a delicacy.

MARISHA: It’s like

one of those traveling food carts?

You’ve got to track them on social media

to see where he’s going to be?

MATT: Keyleth skips off in the direction -

ASHLEY: Love you, Kiki!

SAM: Pike, sorry.

I didn’t know we were parting ways.

ASHLEY: I know. Maybe it won’t be for long,

but I think I should stay.

SAM: Well, I respect that.

I just wanted to -

before we bid adieu, I wanted -

I can’t believe we’re leaving you again.

SAM: It’s so sad.

ASHLEY: I know.

SAM: But I just wanted

to clear the air a bit.

You know, a short while ago,

I proposed marriage.

I’ve been thinking about it a lot -

ASHLEY: I know. I did not forget.

SAM: - and I hope you have been, too.

ASHLEY: Yes. I have been

thinking about it so much.

MARISHA: About this time,

I take the limes and I go,

“(shouting) Hey, Pike! Look! Fun!”

As I juggle them.

MARISHA: I’m having fun! (forced laughter)

ASHLEY: I’m proud of you!

TALIESIN: I feel

that this is a skill check.

No. I spent too long in high school

learning how to juggle.

Skill check.

MATT: Make an acrobatics check.

MARISHA: (laughs)

TALIESIN: No!

That’s not how it works.

MARISHA: Fuck you, Percy,

you’re not here!

TALIESIN: (laughs)

TRAVIS: It’s off the table.

It’s an automatic fail.

MARISHA: It landed on a -

LIAM: It’s a fudge.

It landed on a blanket on an angle.

MARISHA: (laughs) What is it,

just a straight dex?

MATT: Acrobatics.

MARISHA: Acrobatics?

TALIESIN: Sorry. Sorry. I have -

MARISHA: 10!

MATT: 10. The limes (thud)

all over the ground.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

MARISHA: (forced laughter)

This is fun! I’ll just keep going.

MATT: Keyleth slowly backs away,

realizing the moment.

MARISHA: Sorry!

MATT: Goes to get less-bruised limes.

SAM: Anyway, listen,

before you do what you’re going to do

and we’re going to go off on our way,

I just wanted to say

that I am here to officially

absolve you of that proposal,

and I rescind it.

I was foolish to do so,

and I don’t want there to be

any strings attached when we leave,

and I think, really,

with you on the cusp of parting ways

and me seeing my daughter

and everything,

everything’s come into

a bit of a clearer focus, and…

I think I’ve always been in love

with the idea of you.

You know, you’re so perfect

and beautiful and smart and -

ASHLEY: It was the hairy shoulders,

wasn’t it.

(all laugh)

SAM: But I don’t want

to love an idea. I want to love a girl.

And I think in all of this time

of pining after you,

I forgot to just hang out with you

and know you as a person,

and I’m sorry for that.

ASHLEY: That’s okay, Scanlan.

SAM: So I’m sorry

for objectifying you or whatever.

LAURA AND LIAM: (giggle)

MARISHA: (laughing) “Or whatever.”

ASHLEY: It’s okay.

These things happen.

And maybe it wasn’t the best time,

and maybe someday in the future,

we can just reconnoiter

and see if we want to make a -

just talk about it again, I guess.

SAM: We’ll be friends.

ASHLEY: We’ll be friends.

SAM: We’ll be friends.

Listen, I will always love you,

but I don’t want this to be

a barrier in our friendship anymore,

so I’m taking it off the table.

And besides, all I really want

is to matter to someone,

and I do now,

and that’s very new for me,

and confusing, and exhilarating,

and I’ve got to figure out

how to do it

and, well, I’ll work on that,

and you work

on whatever you’re working on,

and I will say this before we leave.

I’m a little older than you,

so I can give you some advice.

ASHLEY: Oh, I - okay.

(all laugh)

SAM: I will say,

speaking as someone

who has lost out

on years of a relationship

with someone I care deeply about,

if you have someone out there

that you love,

you should tell that person,

or, at least, tell someone about it.

It’s a weight

that you’re going to continue to bear,

and you’re going to miss out

on months and years

of either knowing or not knowing.

ASHLEY: That’s very true.

SAM: You don’t have to tell me,

but you’re the bravest woman I know,

and you should be brave enough

to just admit your feelings.

ASHLEY: (sighs) Well, maybe -

(all laugh)

ASHLEY: (stuttering) I’ll think on it more.

And just, yeah. I have to get -

maybe I’ll get more courage

just by staying here and, you know…

But thank you for the advice,

wise old man.

(all laugh)

LIAM: Bulletproof to peer pressure.

SAM: Anyway, I just wanted to say -

ASHLEY: But you are very charming.

I just wanted to tell you that.

SAM: Ah. It’s not happening, sorry.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay.

(extended laughter)

SAM: Just so I’m clear.

ASHLEY: Nothing.

SAM: Off the table now.

ASHLEY: Off the table. Nothing.

(others continue to laugh)

ASHLEY: All right. Well.

SAM: I’m sorry.

I just have to let you down.

ASHLEY: It’s really okay.

(laughs) All right.

SAM: All right, well.

Oh! Hugs?

ASHLEY: Just a friend hug.

SAM: Of course. Of course.

LIAM: Careful you don’t get

velcroed to her shoulders.

MATT: Make another acrobatics check.

MARISHA: (laughs) Worse. 8.

I’m trying, Pike!

(crying) I’m having so much fun!

ASHLEY: It’s okay! It’s okay!

We’ll talk later.

MARISHA: (crying) Huh?

ASHLEY: Can I - I’ll just say bye

to the rest of the group.

LAURA: (unhappy noise) Oh, oh.

ASHLEY: It’s okay.

ASHLEY: You don’t need to cry yet.

LAURA: It’s all going so fast.

ASHLEY: Maybe we’ll see you very soon.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LIAM: Are we going already?

LAURA: I’m just so proud.

ASHLEY: Wait, are we going already

or do we have the night?

TALIESIN: We have the night to sleep

and we leave at dawn.

ASHLEY: Sorry, I just wanted

to give you a hug.

LAURA: I just really wanted to hug you, too.

ASHLEY: Yeah, because

you’re one of my best friends

and I needed to give you a hug.

ASHLEY: It’s going to be fine.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: I may be here next week.

LAURA: You might.

LIAM: I mean, do your work tomorrow.

Can’t we get shitfaced one last time?

ASHLEY: Let’s go get shitfaced.

Come on!

LAURA: Can I just -

LAURA: (whispers) Percy.

TALIESIN: What? Yes?

LAURA: One quick question -

TALIESIN: Yes?

LAURA: I don’t want to bother you

because I know there’s a lot going on,

but we’re going into the Feywild.

TALIESIN: Yes.

LAURA: And… I’m really nervous

about this broom.

TALIESIN: (irritably) Do you see

the giant mess in front of me right now?

LAURA: Yeah?

TALIESIN: This is the thing for your broom.

I’m sitting here while you were drinking,

working on this.

LAURA: (gasps) You were?

TALIESIN: You will

put a drink aside for me.

LAURA: Okay.

TALIESIN: I will see you

either later tonight, if this goes very -

Actually, give me the broom.

Just give me the broom.

LAURA: Okay. Well, all right, but -

TALIESIN: I will either see you

later tonight,

or I will see you in the morning.

LAURA: Don’t lose sleep over it.

Unless you really want to.

But I don’t want

to force you into anything.

TALIESIN: This pains me.

This pains me,

and it must be put down.

This must be put down and finished!

LAURA: Thank you, dear.

TALIESIN: Good night.

TALIESIN: I’m going

to roll a tinker check, at some point.

MATT: Yeah, yeah.

As you guys spend the rest

of the afternoon -

which, you woke up late,

for the most part,

so the afternoon’s pretty short.

But as the sun sets here in Whitestone,

the cloud cover takes in once more,

and a very light drizzle

begins to hit the rooftops,

and you hear in the distance

people finishing rebuilding the roofs

that were destroyed in the battle.

Some buildings

that are starting to be put back up again.

The city is definitely, over time,

coming back to life.

You also know

that throughout the day,

you can see Allura and Gilmore

and the Farseer Eskil

are beginning

to mark areas in the town.

You’re not sure what for,

but you gather

it’s probably preparation for their wards

they’re going to start putting up

throughout Whitestone.

During this time,

you make your first tinker check.

LIAM: Roll to attach a Baby Bjorn?

LAURA: (quietly) Come on, come on.

TALIESIN: That’s a 21.

MATT: 21? Okay.

Working a good portion of the evening -

TALIESIN: It’s not my first roll at it,

so, yeah.

MATT: Yeah, you start making

some decent headway.

You get the stirrups

well-bolted into the side,

making sure not to interrupt

any of the enchantment.

You also begin to work

on the finer elements

of the seat portion of it,

which in itself will have

a gimbal hinge

to adjust based on positioning,

which will allow her

to actually functionally sit on the seat.

We’ll get to that in a minute.

The rest of you guys,

anything else you’re doing

other than just drinking

in the time you have left?

SAM: Yeah, I go to see Vex real quick.

LAURA: Me?

SAM: Yeah. Oi, you. Oi.

LAURA: Hey, what’s going on?

SAM: Remember when I did you a favor,

and you came to my room,

and I taught you how to fly the broom?

LAURA: I very much remember that, Scanlan.

SAM: And you said you owed me one?

LAURA: I owe you so much.

SAM: Here’s the payback.

LAURA: Oh, no.

SAM: You have to wear

this fucking hat every time you fly.

(all laugh)

LAURA: This pointy motherfucker?

LIAM: Oh my gods.

TALIESIN: That was a long walk!

MARISHA: Such a long walk!

TALIESIN: Wow.

LIAM: Playing a long game.

LAURA: How’s it look?

SAM: It looks really cool.

LAURA: Well, there you go.

(all laugh)

LAURA: I will gladly

do this for you, Scanlan.

SAM: Thank you.

LAURA: Does this mean we’re even?

This hat makes us even?

SAM: That would make me so happy.

TALIESIN: (snorts)

LIAM: (giggling) Wow.

SAM: The debt is paid.

MATT: As she cackles loudly,

the hat atop her head

is everything you hoped for.

(all crack up)

SAM: Yes!

ASHLEY: Oh, Vex, that hat is amazing!

LAURA: (cackles)

TRAVIS: She’s actually cackling.

LIAM: Oh, you devious motherfucker.

TALIESIN: Wow.

LAURA: I fucking like it. I appreciate it.

ASHLEY: I think it looks amazing.

SAM: The silhouette

is beautiful on you.

LIAM: It’s very aerodynamic.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: (laughs) Oh my god.

LIAM: If you’re going straight up.

LAURA: I would try it out,

but I don’t have the broom on me

right now, so.

MATT: Another tinker check.

TALIESIN: (whispering) Oh, bastard.

MARISHA: (chanting) Go, go, go!

MATT: You guys are drinking,

carousing in a local tavern,

laughing at her new hat.

TALIESIN: That’s a 25.

MATT: 25?

TALIESIN: Proficiency, dex, and roll.

MATT: As the wee hours begin to click by,

the rest of you have finished

your evening of drinking -

LAURA: I turn the hat at an angle

and make it look a little more dashing.

MATT: There you go.

Yeah, it’s more stylistic.

It’s more Vex'ahlia.

LAURA: I like it.

TRAVIS: “Vex'ahlia.”

LIAM: Can I squeeze in

one mini-conversation

before the end of it all?

MATT: Yes. I’m going to start up here.

As the evening progresses,

up to that point in time,

you’re battling and battling

with this gimbal,

and making sure that everything itself

can sustain the necessary weight

without putting too much pressure

on a single point within the broom

to actually splinter the wood

or damage the actual object.

You’re not even paying attention

to the fact

that there’s very little airflow

and the sweat’s

been dripping off of your face,

as you just need

to get this project done.

And in the moment, it finally hits you,

not knowing what time it is,

but you lift it up in your hands,

and you can see the completed work.

Hoping it will function.

We shall see.

But for now, your project is done.

TALIESIN: I’ve got a wonderful

little Elven signature on the bottom,

which I will tell you what it says

in just a little special signature,

and I put it aside.

I write down quick little notes

for some stuff that’s to be taken care of

while we’re away,

and I go find the bloody bar

that they have crashed.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: I’ll take the broom.

LAURA: I hand him his drink

as soon as he comes in.

TALIESIN: I hand you a broom.

ASHLEY: Percy!

LAURA: (excited shout)

TALIESIN: At the very bottom in Elven,

scribed very gently with a twig,

it says in Elven,

“Death From Above.”

SAM: Ooh.

ASHLEY: (laughing) Oh, yes.

TRAVIS: Oh.

LAURA: Percy, you’ve outdone yourself.

MARISHA: You and the names.

ASHLEY: (gasps) That’s amazing.

SAM: Give it a try.

LAURA: I just sit on it,

raise up a little,

take my hands off the broom -

MARISHA: I reach over

and I grab the chicken

that I’m sure is on the table,

and I say,

“Vex, pull!”

TALIESIN: (yelps)

MATT: Roll an attack.

LAURA: Oh, god.

Do I have to roll disadvantage?

MATT: Nope.

LAURA: Ha ha!

That’s right, and it’s a 30!

(excited cheers)

MATT: The arrow smashes

into the side of the half-eaten chicken,

which, in your drunken state,

was not on your plate,

and you hear a voice go,

“Hey, that was my meal!”

(arrow impact)

TALIESIN: It’s a 214-year-old pub.

Oh, god.

MARISHA: (weakly) Sorry!

MATT: The chicken,

now stapled to the wall by the arrow,

and the somewhat

frustrated-looking gentleman

who is on the other side of the table,

who has just been eating on his own,

is like -

“How are you going to pay for that?”

LAURA: I’m sorry, sir. No, it’s all right.

MARISHA: (stuttering)

LAURA: I fly up

and I grab it off the wall

and I bring it back down.

MATT: He hasn’t really noticed

the flight thing at this point,

so he’s just like,

“(awed) Oh.”

MARISHA: I take my fire hands

and I blacken it

and make it like a nice shish kebab.

LAURA: You burned it. Thank you.

MARISHA: Just a little -

I’m getting the dirt off of it.

I’m getting the hair off of it.

LAURA: Sorry it’s burned now,

but there you go.

MARISHA: There’s a little hair on it.

MATT: “It’s okay.”

ASHLEY: A little extra cooked.

TALIESIN: A round for the gentleman.

MATT: “It’s burned.”

LAURA: Yes. Charred. It’s nice and charred.

MAN WITH CHICKEN: (weakly) Thanks.

MARISHA: I’m not a cook.

MATT: “I can tell.”

MARISHA: It’s arcane fire.

What do you want from me?

MATT: “I want my chicken untouched.”

And he starts cutting into it,

trying to find pieces that are edible.

LAURA: I land next to my brother.

You wanted to talk to me. Why?

LIAM: What, you?

I don’t want to talk to you.

LAURA: Oh, well fuck it.

I get up and start flying again.

TALIESIN: I was going to

go take a seat next to Pike,

at some point.

I’ve got a letter for you.

LIAM: I think we all

want to say goodbye to Pike.

That’s what I was going to do.

MATT: As this is happening,

while the flying display is happening

and you’re really intent

on watching all the mechanisms work

and watching how it adjusts to her weight,

and you want to be damn sure

that everything

that’s supposed to move is.

While this is happening…

LIAM: All right.

And I sit down next to her

and I scootch her a little bit.

Thank you, Pickle.

ASHLEY: Thanks, Vaxy.

LIAM: I’m starting to gather

that you don’t have

as many answers as I thought,

but be that as it may,

you’re still a great inspiration to me.

I still feel

like I’m following in your footsteps.

ASHLEY: Well…

LIAM: Take that for what it’s worth.

ASHLEY: Or flying in my footsteps, rather.

LIAM: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Because that’s pretty cool.

LIAM: It is. It is pretty cool.

Fuck, we’re going to miss you.

ASHLEY: I’m going to miss you.

I’m going to miss you guys very much.

But maybe I’ll see you more often?

LIAM: If you need us, blink of an eye.

Blink of an eye, we’ll come back.

ASHLEY: Okay. (sighs) Okay.

And I’ll just be there when I can.

LIAM: We know.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LIAM: It’s going to hurt, but we know.

ASHLEY: Yeah?

LIAM: And you know that we all - all of us.

That big asshole over there.

ASHLEY: That big asshole.

LIAM: My twin, with the -

LAURA: I float down behind him -

LIAM: She’s behind me, isn’t she?

ASHLEY: Yes.

LAURA: - and give him bunny ears

behind his head.

LIAM: That one.

ASHLEY: (laughs) Hi, Vex.

LIAM: Red, Whitey, Shorty.

We’re all going to miss you.

ASHLEY: (sighs)

I’m going to miss you guys a lot.

LIAM: Cheers.

ASHLEY: Cheers.

LIAM: (toonk)

ASHLEY: (drinking noises)

LAURA: Gulp, gulp, glub, glub, glub.

LIAM: (sighs) All right.

ASHLEY: All right.

LIAM: I’m going to tie one on. Thanks.

ASHLEY: All right. Bye, Vax.

MATT: As you continue to drink, Percy -

MARISHA: Keyleth just hollers,

“Vax! Come sit by me.”

LAURA: (loudly) Oooh!

I mean, go for her…

MARISHA: (yelling) Shut the fuck up, Vex!

LIAM: Or say nothing!

LAURA: Say nothing.

I won’t say anything.

I’m just going to keep flying around.

MARISHA: That’s it.

MATT: All right. As Percy,

you see the opportunity now

as Vax moves

to take that same spot next to Pike.

TALIESIN: Oh, bloody hell,

about fucking time.

LIAM: (giggles)

TALIESIN: (sighs)

ASHLEY: Hi.

TALIESIN: You’re intimidating as fuck,

you know that?

ASHLEY: Me?

TALIESIN: Yes.

ASHLEY: How?!

TALIESIN: Everyone’s always worried

about impressing you.

ASHLEY: Impressing me?

TALIESIN: Yes, it’s why we’re rubbish

when you’re not around.

Everybody’s trying to impress you.

ASHLEY: You know, I’m just rubbish.

I’m just all the time rubbish. (laughs)

TALIESIN: I know. Believe me, I’m aware.

I hand her a letter, and say,

“Here’s a list

"of every terrible thing

I’ve got going on in this city right now.”

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: “So you’ll know

what I’ve got cooking.

"Plus some people

that if you need particular things,

"you can talk to in the city,

who are friends of the family.

"10 things to see in the city

that might be nice,

"and my 10 favorite books in the library,

in case you get bored.”

ASHLEY: Oh, Percy.

SAM: What to Do in Whitestone

for 48 Hours.

TALIESIN: Exactly.

(all laugh)

TALIESIN: You’re going to

have to kill some time, I’m sure.

MARISHA: Whitestone Atlas Obscura.

ASHLEY: I will make sure

to visit all of these places

and read all these things.

TALIESIN: I’ll try

and keep the kids safe,

and I will try not to be

the thing that kills them, either.

ASHLEY: Well - oh.

I have something for you.

TALIESIN: Hm? All right.

SAM: Is it a profession of love?

(laughs) Damn it!

LIAM: (laughs)

ASHLEY: When we went to my house,

or, well, where I lived with Wilhand…

TALIESIN: I remember.

ASHLEY: I got something

from underneath the bed, and -

LAURA: (whispering) Was it lacy panties?

ASHLEY: (laughs) Yes, it’s lacy panties.

(all laugh)

TALIESIN: I will wear them always.

ASHLEY: This is something

that’s been in my family

for a really long time,

and I’ve been thinking about it,

and I feel like I need to give it to you.

So come closer to me real quick.

It’s a necklace.

And just… don’t take it off.

TALIESIN: Okay. I will keep it on.

ASHLEY: And it will keep you safe.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

ASHLEY: You’re welcome.

TALIESIN: And please

keep all this safe, as well.

ASHLEY: I will.

And keep them safe,

and keep yourself safe, please?

TALIESIN: (sighs) Let’s all be safe.

To that.

ASHLEY: Cheers.

TALIESIN: Cheers, and god,

TALIESIN: I hope they’re making out

in the next hour.

ASHLEY: Same.

TALIESIN: God, wouldn’t that be lovely.

LAURA: I float down

and kick Grog in the head

and then float back up.

TRAVIS: Ow!

MATT: Make a perception check, Grog.

TRAVIS: Shit! 6.

(all laugh)

MATT: Someone fucking

threw something at your head.

TRAVIS: Who wants to go

right fucking now?

I was in the middle

of a gorgeous cup of ale

and I’m wearing half of it!

SAM: It was that guy

with the burnt chicken.

TRAVIS: I rush the guy

with the burnt chicken

and I pick him up,

and I throw him across the tavern.

MATT: “(screams)”

TRAVIS: Who’s with

the burnt chicken piece of shit?

MATT: He slams onto a table.

You can now see

there are two guys in the back,

who are probably

part of the building crew here,

look at each other

and roll up their sleeves.

“We doing this?!”

ALL: YEAH!

LAURA: Big tavern brawl!

MATT: They rush in and start slugging at you

and it goes into an old-style -

TALIESIN: Outside. Outside!

LAURA: Trinket!

MARISHA: Keyleth picks up two chickens,

burns them with her hands,

and chucks them at the guys.

MARISHA: (shouting) Food fight!

TRAVIS: (laughing) Yes!

MATT: A giant brawl

breaks out at this time.

TRAVIS: (laughing) Whole-tavern brawl.

MATT: You hear people laughing,

and the music picks up more,

and there’s tables being tossed over.

There’s a hint of gingerness to it;

no one’s damaging the -

TRAVIS: Not the face. Not the face.

MATT: - you can see,

in general, in the city,

there’s a lot of tension to get out

from previous events,

and there are a few folks in this town,

in this particular tavern

that are enjoying

throwing a couple of punches

and taking a few,

and there are some folks

that are watching,

and enjoying watching,

this fight go down.

TRAVIS: (laughs) Yes! Amazing.

MATT: And while no one here

can throw a punch

to really give you much of an issue, Grog,

it is fun to feel the energy again.

TRAVIS: Take a few, yes.

TALIESIN: Slap fight.

TRAVIS: I sell them a bit more

than they’re worth.

(all laugh)

MATT: All right. As eventually,

the fight dies down,

another round of drinks are purchased

by those who are involved.

You all find yourselves

now into the late, late hours.

Once again, probably pushing

another sunrise in the next hour or so.

You gather you

should probably find yourselves to rest.

TALIESIN: Sleep, then leave.

Sleep, then leave.

ASHLEY: I give Grog a big hug and say,

ASHLEY: You’re my big brother, yeah?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Please be safe.

TRAVIS: I will. We’re the original O.G.,

you know that?

ASHLEY: Yeah, we’re the original O.G.

TRAVIS: Well, I guess original and O

is redundant, but -

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Original Original G.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we’re the O-O-G.

ASHLEY: Oo-G. Oog.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: You guys make your way

back to Whitestone castle.

Find a full evening’s sleep.

Eventually, the late morning,

early afternoon comes about.

You’re well-rested,

and a night of good dreams come to you.

In contrast to the bad night before,

you do manage to get full rest.

[no audio]

LIAM: - into my sister’s room

with a bowl of lukewarm lentil soup,

and go,

“Oh, god, I’m still sick.

(vomit noises)”

LAURA: No, no!

ASHLEY: (laughs)

LIAM: And throw it all over her.

LAURA: You’re such an asshole.

LIAM: Whoo! Still got it, baby!

And I run back to my room

and go to bed.

MATT: (giggles)

LAURA: I go take a shower.

(all laugh)

TRAVIS: Ooh, ooh!

Can I find Pike? And I say,

“Hey, wait. Before I go,

"do you want me

to keep a special eye on Scanlan,

"since he proposed marriage?”

ASHLEY: Oh. Well,

that offer is off the table.

TRAVIS: What?

ASHLEY: Oh.

It’s not happening anymore.

TRAVIS: Oh.

ASHLEY: So, yeah, he’s free

to have some good times

at the old “lady houses”

that you guys like to visit.

The lady spas?

(all laugh)

MARISHA: Lady spas?!

TALIESIN: Lady spas?

ASHLEY: Whorehouses?

(all laugh)

LIAM: I’d rather go to the lady spas.

ASHLEY: You know what?

I think he’s not quite ready.

I think it was just the idea of it.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

ASHLEY: The idea of me.

Because I’m just really great.

TRAVIS: I mean, you really are.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: He got a little swept up,

carried away.

ASHLEY: Yeah, he did. It happens.

TRAVIS: Is there anybody

I should keep a special eye on?

(all laugh)

SAM: Yes!

TALIESIN: Wow, just -

ASHLEY: Oh. I have my eye on one already.

TRAVIS: Oh, yeah?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Like, magically?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: All right.

ASHLEY: Yeah. It’s fine.

TRAVIS: You just let me know.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TRAVIS: I’m an extra layer of protection.

ASHLEY: Yeah. Well. Just be careful.

Keep yourself safe.

TRAVIS: Me?

ASHLEY: Yeah!

TRAVIS: That’s never part of the plan.

ASHLEY: Well, just don’t make

too crazy of decisions.

TRAVIS: All right. Hey!

When I come back,

those Gauntlets of Ogre Strength?

ASHLEY: Yeah?

TRAVIS: I wanna see ‘em super beat up.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TRAVIS: Okay. We’ll compare damage box.

ASHLEY: (doosh doosh doosh doosh doosh)

TRAVIS: (buuh)

LAURA: I run up behind Pike

out of my shower

and I twirl her around

and I give you a big old hug

and a kiss on the cheek.

ASHLEY: Oh. Ohh.

LAURA: We’ll be back soon, darling.

ASHLEY: Okay. I hope so.

LAURA: Take care of everything.

ASHLEY: All right.

LAURA: I ought to get dressed.

ASHLEY: Yeah, will you - yeah. Okay.

(all laugh)

MATT: The flushed gnome runs off.

You guys all eventually

gather your materials,

your weapons, your equipment,

and anything else

you need for the journey,

and you all meet just on the outside

of the front doors to Whitestone castle

for a final goodbye.

There waiting for you:

Allura, the Realmseer, and Gilmore.

Kima’s off elsewhere right now.

And Cassandra follows up behind

as you guys step out.

They all nod their heads.

Allura walks over to you

and pats you on the shoulder.

“Don’t worry.

Have faith, and when you return.

"I’ll know how to absolve you

of this cursed individual.

"And I think you’ll have, hopefully,

"something else even more helpful

in your midst.”

Cassandra comes up by you

and rests her chin on your shoulder.

“Percy, stay alive, please.”

TALIESIN: All right. (sighs)

MATT: “I mean it.”

TALIESIN: I know. I plan on coming back.

I’m not done.

MATT: “No, you’re not.”

And she smacks you in the face. (dshh)

TALIESIN: (sighs) I hate you.

MATT: Once everyone else is looking,

she rights herself again.

She takes her coat

and buttons it there in the middle.

“I cannot express, truly,

"how important

your influence has been in this city,

"and I don’t think you realize

"just how many lives here

are for the better

"since you’ve

walked into our humble home.

"And it is for that reason

that I request,

"on the behalf

of all of us here in Whitestone,

"that you come back safe.

"That is all. Good luck.”

She puts her shoulders back

and walks back into the castle.

TALIESIN: At your service, Lord Cassandra.

MATT: “Don’t call me that.”

TALIESIN: (laughs)

MATT: She walks back in.

ASHLEY: I put my shoulders back

and do the same thing she does.

And turn around and wave.

ASHLEY: I love you guys. (blows kiss)

MARISHA: Bye, Pike.

LAURA: Bye, Lord Pike.

TRAVIS: Bye, Pike.

ASHLEY: Bye.

VEX AND ASHLEY: (laugh)

LIAM: Bye, Pickle.

ASHLEY: Bye, Vaxy.

MATT: Allura and Gilmore

look at each other.

Allura nods

and walks in the castle after Pike,

leaving Gilmore there.

Gilmore looks at you all.

“Sorry about forgetting the hug

last time. It wasn’t my intent.”

LAURA: (laughs) Totally fine, dear.

MATT: “I have no words.

You all look fabulous.

"If you find anything really amazing

that you don’t need,

"I’m trying to build up stock again.

”(chuckling) I kind of…

lost two shops in the same month.“

LAURA: Are you building another shop?

MATT: "Well, I mean, eventually.

"You’ve got to have long-term plans,

my dear.”

LAURA: Of course.

We’ll keep promoting you, then.

MATT: “Please. I’m far beyond

the adventuring business,

"and income’s been stale for a while.

"But stay safe. Be careful.

It’s weird out there.”

SAM: (laughs)

MATT: “Very, very weird out there.”

LAURA: (laughs)

TALIESIN: So true.

MARISHA: Thank you, Gilmore.

TRAVIS: Should we -

since they’re all smart and stuff -

ask them anything in particular

about the Feywild?

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah.

Any last words of wisdom for the Feywild?

MATT: “It’s WEIRD out there.”

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: Thank you.

TRAVIS: Deep.

MARISHA: I think that was it.

MATT: “Take everything with caution.

"Trust nothing.

"Keep your eyes open

and for the love of god,

"absolve yourself

of any preconceptions.”

TRAVIS: Shit. Okay.

MARISHA: All right.

MATT: “Fly high, my bird.”

MARISHA: Oh.

MATT: He walks up

and gives you a kiss on the cheek,

and then walks into the castle

after the rest.

MARISHA: Oh.

TALIESIN: (quietly) See?

That wasn’t so hard, was it?

MARISHA: (whispering) Hush, Percy.

LAURA: Well.

SAM: Shall we?

LAURA: Oh, god. It’s happening.

MARISHA: All form a circle and hold hands.

LIAM: All right.

TRAVIS: Oh, yeah,

let’s actually do it, yeah.

LAURA: Oh, it’s really -

LIAM: We’re really doing it.

ASHLEY: I’m not here.

LAURA: Oh, Pike’s not here.

LIAM: Ready, Stubby?

LAURA: Hum - oh, yes.

MARISHA: All right, everyone.

Close your eyes.

SAM: Do we have

to say a magic word?

MARISHA: No. Just close your eyes.

It helps -

SAM: Can we say a magic word?

MARISHA: If it makes you feel better,

Scanlan.

SAM: All right.

MARISHA: Close your eyes.

It helps with the nausea.

TALIESIN: You could sing.

MARISHA: And -

SAM, MARISHA, AND LIAM:

(gibberish noises)

(laughter)

LAURA: My pretty!

SAM: Wait, did it happen already?

We’re still here.

MARISHA: My pretty!

LAURA: (cackles)

MATT: Where are you specifying?

Where are you going?

LIAM: (Brooklyn accent)

We’re going to Florida!

(cheers)

MARISHA: We’re going to Disney!

TALIESIN: Harry Potter Land!

TALIESIN AND MARISHA: Harry Potter Land!

TRAVIS: (laughing) Epcot Center.

MARISHA: I’m going to go

to the one place I know,

which is the portal

just beyond where Grog entered.

MATT: You haven’t been in there.

MARISHA: But I know

that there’s a portal there, right?

TRAVIS: There was a lake

in the middle of the -

LIAM: Yeah, Grog’s girlfriend.

MARISHA: Grog’s girlfriend.

SAM: But we weren’t in the Feywild,

were we?

TRAVIS: No, no,

it’s a portal to the Feywild.

MARISHA: No, but I’ve got a vague idea.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Can I talk to - hang on, wait.

MARISHA: Grog!

TRAVIS: What?

MARISHA: Remember your girlfriend

in the Feywild?

TRAVIS: Pfft. Yeah.

MARISHA: Think about her and that place

very, very hard.

TRAVIS: Which part?

MARISHA: Going there.

LAURA: Oh, it’s happening?

It’s happening.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

I thought we already -

MARISHA: Think about Grog’s girlfriend.

TRAVIS: Peanut butter and jelly.

LIAM: What did they do in there?

We don’t know, still.

MARISHA: We don’t know.

SAM: Maybe we’ll find out!

MATT: For a moment,

there’s just this still quiet,

and then this very cold breeze

begins to pick up

around your feet (wind noise)

and it’s like someone smacked each of you

on your back really hard (boomf).

And with that,

your vision flashes for a moment,

and you look about

and everything has changed.

You step forward

into the now-temperate air.

You’re struck immediately

by the vibrant purples, blues, and pinks

of a sunset sky

that envelops the clouds above you,

just above the treeline

that surrounds you.

The smell of fresh morning dew

and poppy upon the breeze

rolls past your nose and fills your senses

as you look down and see yourself wading

through what looks like two-foot-tall,

knee- to thigh-high grass.

Vine-covered tree trunks wrap

and rise around you,

curling as they stretch upward

like a bending dreamscape

of hundreds of small bobbing fairy lights

that float in the shadowed distance

of the forest.

You can see what looks to be

a few small pools of water

that have gathered in this small glade

that surrounds you.

And that’s where

we’ll pick up next week.

ASHLEY: Oh.

LAURA: It sounds beautiful.

MATT: Or two weeks from now, I guess.

LAURA: Oh, man, that’s right.

ASHLEY: Boo.

TRAVIS: But we’ll be back.

We’ll do stuff next week.

MATT: You guys’ll be back next week

for your own little fun time.

LAURA: Yeah, we’ll do something.

MATT: We’ll be back to pick up that line,

as the party enters the Feywild,

in two weeks.

TALIESIN: Man.

SAM: Who knows what we’ll encounter.

MATT: It’s going to be real interesting

here in the Feywild.

All right, so first and foremost,

thanks again to Loot Crate

for being our awesome sponsors.

TRAVIS: We’re wearing

these awesome shirts.

Keyleth’s got one. I’m rocking -

MARISHA: Yeah, everyone’s

been tweeting at me,

asking “where did you get

your awesome shirt?”

Uh, LOOT CRATE, what.

ASHLEY: Loot Crate!

TRAVIS: Alex Murphy, RoboCop, holla.

LIAM: And our discount!

MATT: And Ashley,

if you hadn’t picked up at this point,

is going back to New York

to shoot on the next season of Blindspot.

LIAM: No! No!

LAURA: Oh, no…

ASHLEY: Okay, wait, hold on a second.

SAM: Wait, what does she have?

ASHLEY: Guys, for those of you

in the Critter community

who made this amazing quilt.

This is going to come with me

and be on my bed, and I’ll snuggle it.

MARISHA: Oh my god, that’s amazing!

LAURA: They made her

the most amazing quilt!

ASHLEY: I love this so much.

SAM: Is that a Pike quilt?

ASHLEY: Yes.

LIAM: Yes, it is.

LAURA: And it’s got art.

ASHLEY: It has all the art on it -

ASHLEY: - and then on the sides

it’s just little quotes and things.

TRAVIS: Aim long, strike true,

a War God’s Blessing upon you.

ASHLEY: People wrote on Twitter

LAURA: It’s so amazing.

MARISHA: That’s amazing!

TRAVIS: So many good messages.

ASHLEY: Never stop being yourself.

You empower others to be themselves -

oh, okay, now I’m just reading, like -

(all laugh)

ASHLEY: I thought it was going to be -

I wasn’t trying

to read compliments about myself.

(all laugh)

MATT: I love this blanket.

It tells me how awesome I am.

TRAVIS: I like your hair!

LAURA: I’m pretty awesome.

ASHLEY: Your hair’s great! I love it.

LIAM: Us pack of nerds

are going to miss you

more than Vox Machina misses Pike.

ASHLEY: Oh, goodness.

TRAVIS: Oh, yeah.

LIAM: We’re going to miss you.

ASHLEY: I’m going to miss you guys

so much.

TRAVIS: We’re going to steal you back

whenever we can.

MATT: We got better internet

in the studio for you.

LAURA: Yeah, it’s true.

ASHLEY: What’s he say, again?

MATT: We got better internet

in the studio specifically for you.

LAURA: So it’ll be faster.

ASHLEY: Okay. All right.

MATT: When you can, Skype in.

ASHLEY: All right. When I can, Skype in.

MATT: I know it’s not the same.

ASHLEY: Astral projection Pike. (laughs)

TRAVIS: (laughs) Yeah.

LAURA: No, no, no, you have the stone.

You’ll be really there.

ASHLEY: Oh, I’ll be really there.

That’s right. That’s right. Yes.

We’re going to make it work.

MATT: I’ll make it work.

ASHLEY: Matt will have to make it -

MATT: I’ll figure it out. It’s my job.

LIAM: Pike in a box

is better than no Pike.

MATT, TALIESIN, AND MARISHA:

(singing) It’s a Pike in a box, ooh.

ASHLEY: It’s a Pike in a box!

MATT, MARISHA, TALIESIN, AND LAURA:

(singing) Pike in a box, baaabe.

(singing peters out)

MATT: (singing) Step one, put a hole

in that box… put a Pike in that box?

MARISHA: Oh, god!

MATT: Not continuing the song…

(all laugh)

MATT: Guys,

thank you so much for watching.

I hope you enjoyed your time.

Looking forward to seeing all you folks

in Australia next week.

It’s going to be awesome.

We’ll see you guys Saturday night.

I believe it’ll be Taliesin, Marisha -

MARISHA AND TALIESIN:

Not Taliesin.

MATT: Not Taliesin, sorry.

Liam, Marisha, Laura, and Travis

are going to play some Deadlands

for a couple of hours

on our awesome charity stream.

Check us out tomorrow, starting at 5pm.

Check out the rest of the stream

for all the awesome content

they’re putting up there, guys.

ALL: Saturday.

MATT: Sorry. Saturday. Friday. It’s -

TALIESIN: It technically is tomorrow.

MATT: No, it’s not tomorrow yet. Sorry.

Starts tomorrow at 7pm, or 5pm.

It starts tomorrow at 7pm,

and then goes on.

LUCAS: Starts tomorrow at 7pm!

MATT: Thank you. Tomorrow at 7pm.

It goes until Saturday at 7pm.

My apologies.

I’ve had a lot on my mind today.

But yeah. So we’ll see you guys

throughout the stream.

Until then, is it Thursday yet?

Have a good night, guys.