Transcript:The Chase Begins

Pre-show
MATT: Hello and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

ALL: (hollering) We play Dungeons & Dragons!

MATT: That one. It's been a few weeks. Happy to be back. Happy to see you guys. And before we hop into tonight's episode, we have a hefty chunk of announcements to get to because of that little delay. Beginning with the first of three sponsors tonight: Ravensburger. Sam.

SAM: (lisping) Yeah, hello. This episode is sponsored by Ravensburger and The Princess Bride Adventure game. Worked together to control characters and complete each chapter's challenges. Game includes-- it's me, Vizzini. Game includes seven paintable miniatures, of Buttercup, Westley, Inigo Montoya, Fezzik and more! Flip through game boards as you retell the epic tale of The Princess Bride. Available now at Target and at bitly/CRPrincessBride. To celebrate, I would like to invite my best friend in the world, Liam O'Brien, to share a toast with me. A toast.

LIAM: No, no, no, why am I dressed like this? Wait, Princess Bride, goblet of wine-- are you trying to poison me?

SAM: Why don't you sniff your glass and tell me?

LIAM: The best impressions are the ones where you have to say the name of the character that you're doing.

(laughter)

LIAM: I do not smell anything.

SAM: Aha! What you do not smell is the residue from my gigantic flask. It is odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly, and is among the most deadly poisons known to man.

LIAM: The disgusting foul flask that you never wash?

SAM: Correct! One of our goblets is from a fresh bottle of wine. The other was poured directly from my cursed flask, but which is which? The battle of wits has begun.

LIAM: I mean, you pour the poison on mine, right?

SAM: Did I? Am I the sort of man who would pour poison into his own goblet or his enemy? A clever man would put the poison in his own goblet because he knows that only a great fool would reach for what's given, but you are not a great fool. So clearly you should not choose the one in front of you.

LIAM: Yeah, but we can't switch glasses. Got the whole social distancing thing.

SAM: Which a man like me would have taken into account! So clearly you cannot trust the goblet in front of you because I know you won't trust the goblet, then clearly I can not trust the goblet in front of me.

LIAM: This... This bit is dumb.

SAM: It gets dumber! If the flask wine is in front of me and we aren't allowed to trade places, then Ravensburger would be sponsoring me to drink my own disgusting, sewage-flavored flask juice, and Ravensburger doesn't want to sponsor that. No one does.

LIAM: All right, you're just stalling now, okay? Mine is definitely the nasty one, obviously.

SAM: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? But your confidence doesn't convince me, then clearly the poison is in my goblet!

LIAM: You... don't you... You don't remember which one you poured it in, do you?

SAM: That is conceivable!

LIAM: All right, fuck it. I'm just going to drink so we can play D&D.

SAM: You fool! You fell victim to the classic blunders. Never go against a man who never washes his flask. (unhinged cackling) (heavy thud)

TRAVIS: (laughs) Oh shit. That sounded pretty solid.

LIAM: Well.

LAURA: Are you okay?

LIAM: It wasn't his best bit, but at least it was his last. Don't forget to enter for your chance to win a copy of the game by heading over to @RavensburgerNA on Twitter, where they're giving away free copies of the game right now. Back to you, Matt, and we're so sorry.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

MATT: Thank you, Liam and...Sam?

TRAVIS: Dude, his table must be so wet from all that spit.

MATT: Yeah, right?

LAURA: Oh god.

MATT: And thank you, Ravensburger, for whatever that was. Our second sponsor tonight is ThinkFun. ThinkFun has their spooky new game called Escape from the Room: The Cursed Dollhouse. It is the most immersive escape room game experience ever, and ThinkFun's most challenging one to date. In the game, players explore a mysterious three-dimensional dollhouse solving puzzles in search of a way to escape from it. Five rooms, each containing objects to investigate and multiple puzzles to solve, will keep even the most skilled escape room players engaged through two hours of game play. You can even use the game box itself to build a three-story dollhouse, complete with 3D furniture, to escape. (laughs triumphantly) So there! Go check out the game now for yourself at Bit.ly, bit.ly/CRescapetheroom.

TRAVIS: That sounds terrifying. Why would anyone do that?

SAM: Matt, you're supposed to thank the sponsor at the end.

MATT: Oh right, sorry.

SAM: But you can use the new sponsorship doll to do that for you.

TRAVIS: What?

SAM (V.O.): Thanks to ThinkFun for supporting our show.

MATT: That does make it easier, I guess. Does it say other things in it?

SAM (V.O.): I'm a doll.

MATT: That's effective. Let's see if there's more to cycle through.

SAM (V.O.): It's Sam o'clock, baby.

SAM: I didn't [inaudible] that one.

TRAVIS and MARISHA: Wow.

MATT: How many did you record for this one?

SAM: Actually.

SCARY VOICE OVER: Must Kill Matthew Mercer!

MATT: All right, we're going to put that away.

TRAVIS: Nope.

MATT: All right, third sponsor, D&D Beyond! Our friends since the beginning of campaign two.

TRAVIS: (hollering) D&D Beyond!

MATT: You can start your October adventures with spooky ones, such as The Ghosts of Saltmarsh. Explore the waves, spooky waves. Explore the spooky waves above the depths below these five seafaring spooky adventures for your party to take on. Spoopy now? We going into spoopy. Get the spoopy stat blocks! Rules and anything else you need to captain your own spoopy ship. Battle 56 nautical monsters, and use them in your D&D Beyond encounter builder. Detailed maps and tables from mysterious new spoopy islands fishing villages, pirate coves, and more. So take your journey to the high seas today at dndbeyond.link/CRghosts. That wraps up our sponsorship for tonight and for our announcements thereafter let's go ahead and begin with you, Ashley. You got something to talk about.

ASHLEY: Hey!

TRAVIS: Hey, friend!

ASHLEY: Hi, everyone! So, guys and everyone, thank you so much for your support of Critical Role Foundation. So we have far surpassed our initial goal, but because we are pre-recording the show, it's a little tough to convey real time fundraising updates, but just know it's more than a dollar and probably less than a million. (laughter) But for updates, be sure to check out @CriticalRoleFDN on Facebook or Twitter for updates, or both. And for more information or to join us in leaving the world better than we found it, please visit criticalrolefoundation.org. (cheering)

TRAVIS: So happy. It always gets to have some applause.

MATT: Thank you, Ashley. And thank you, everyone, for supporting the initial launch of this long-coming charitable endeavor. You've blown us all away and you've made and continue to make a lot of people very happy who've been very much in need. So thank you. We also have The World of Critical Role book coming to the U.S. and Canada on Tuesday, October 20th and UK on Thursday, October 22nd. So if you haven't seen this delightful tome. We showed it off once before. U.S. and UK fans, you can still submit your pre-order receipts at criticalrolebooks.com/preorder to redeem free digital wallpapers and other cool perks. And for our German fans, there will also be a fully translated German edition available in December of this year. I'll give you a couple of cool sneak peeks of some of the inside of elements of the book here. These are some pages about the beginnings. We have some storytelling and some shots. Oh god, there we go.

MARISHA: There we go. That's [inaudible].

MATT: Lighting is in the book.

LAURA: Those are our house pictures!

MATT: Yeah, so you get to see our janky old apartment. We've got some awesome chapter breaks with some art in there, which is fun.

TRAVIS: Yo.

MARISHA: Oh, look at us!

MATT: This is purty. I think we got a-- oh yes, we've got a page about the Chroma Conclave. The great evils from campaign one. It looks gorgeous. It has a lot of fun stories, interviews, and historical elements about this weird experience that we're still trying to figure out how the hell that happened. And you can get it now, too. So for more information, head to criticalrolebooks.com. Laura, you're up next.

LAURA: (yelling) Okay, so we've got a lot of stuff in our store right now, in case you missed it. I don't know why Jester just came out. But, okay. So number one, I'm just going to go down the list, you guys. So we've got a wallet.

TRAVIS: Oh my goodness.

LAURA: With our doodles by Wendy Sullivan. It's really cute. You want to see it?

TRAVIS: Yep.

LAURA: I can pass it to you because we're married.

MARISHA: So cool.

LAURA: I know.

TRAVIS: It's got a liner.

LAURA: And there's, like, a little special something in it that I'm not going to talk about, but if you get it, you'll know. Ha! Okay.

SAM: Is it money?

LAURA: It's not money.

MARISHA: A $2 bill in every wallet.

LAURA: The other thing is--

TRAVIS: Oh, it's this thing.

LAURA: Don't pull it out. We have our Marquet Market tote bags in this fabulous avocado green color.

MARISHA: I love that color.

LAURA: I know. It's so pretty, right?

MARISHA: Cute.

LAURA: So yeah, I'm super stoked about that. And then-- hold on. We've got our-- Oh, have you seen this yet, Marisha? We've got our Swoleregard--

MARISHA: I've only seen it over Zoom. (cheering)

LAURA: We have our Swoleregard tank.

TRAVIS: Sun's out, guns out, baby.

LAURA: This is designed by Grace Berríos. I love it.

SAM: What does it say on the bottom?

LAURA: It says for Swoleregard's Gym, Wildemount, Exandria.

ASHLEY: It's so good. Look at her.

LIAM: Hitting the gym.

LAURA: Sleeves are bullshit. Okay, so all three of those things are available in the U.S., the UK, and the Australian stores, while the-- Oh wait. I don't know what I'm saying. So two of those things are available in all the stores. And then this thing is only available-- (laughter) - in the U.S. store right now, but it's coming to the UK and the Australian store soon.

TRAVIS: Nice save, nice save. You're on it.

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay. Now we've got another thing to talk about, because-- this is, like, legit, this is the thing I think is my favorite thing we've ever made ever. And I'm going to have Liam show it.

ASHLEY: This is.

MARISHA: Oh yes. Yes! Yes! Yes!

ASHLEY: I want this so bad.

LAURA: This is our Vax'ildan hooded cloak.

MARISHA: Oh yeah, with that thumb hole.

LIAM: (hums tune)

MARISHA: Ooh!

LAURA: It's so sexy. Okay. So no, you have to turn around because they didn't see the wings.

ASHLEY: Wait, move your chair back.

LAURA: You've got to show them the wings, the Raven Queen wings in the back.

TRAVIS: Little higher. It's got a hood.

SAM: Down for the hood.

LAURA: It's got thumb holes, and there's all these--

ASHLEY: Come on!

LAURA: There's all these amazing details. Yeah, you've got your--

LIAM: Snow drops!

LAURA: Your snow drop close to the heart, and then we've got a dagger, dagger, dagger detail, and then we've got, "Do not far from me."

LIAM: Where is it?!

LAURA: All sorts of stuff on there.

LIAM: There it is.

LAURA: It's just, like, the most amazing thing. Anyway, it's in the stores right now.

LIAM: I'll never forget: In the before times, I came in, I didn't know this thing existed and you just said, "You want to see something cool?" It's like, "Yeah, what are you going to show me?" And you showed me pictures of this thing. I couldn't fucking believe it.

LAURA: (laughs) I'm so excited about it.

LIAM: I love it.

MARISHA: Wait, wait, wait. It looked really cool when the lapel was open and you could just see the snowdrop. Kind of open the collar a bit like that.

MARISHA: Yeah. It's just so good.

LAURA: It's so comfy and cozy. I was wearing it today at home.

MATT: It's a good arms dealer outfit.

LAURA: There's pockets!

LIAM: There's pockets.

SAM: You look like a cool Jedi.

LAURA: Anyway, so there's that. It's in all three of those stores right now. So that is pretty cool.

ASHLEY: That is fashion.

LAURA: It's so fashion.

LIAM: Where'd I go?

SAM: (laughs)

LAURA: Okay. And then there's two more things I'm just going to say, and I'm done. I swear.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: So for the Australian store--

SAM: Crikey.

LAURA: We have this t-shirt. (cheering) (laughter) What what! That's our Australian store exclusive. And then--

TRAVIS: Nobody said it?

LAURA: We have--

SAM and TRAVIS: Bidet, mate!

LIAM and LAURA: (like Grog) Bidet.

LAURA: And then we have this t-shirt, which you may recognize, the design is on our tank tops that we released.

SAM: Oh yeah!

LAURA: So in the Australian store, it's a t-shirt!

TRAVIS: Yeah!

LAURA: Okay, so that's everything that I've got. That's everything I've got. Thank you for sitting with me.

TRAVIS: Nice job, LB! Nice job! That's a lot of weeks off to catch up. Nice job.

ASHLEY: Yeah!

LIAM: Oh!

LAURA: I know. That's--

LIAM: I couldn't find them, but there they are.

LAURA: I just love it so much.

LIAM: I'm so stealthy!

SAM: The other things are cool, too!

LAURA: Everything else is cool, too, but yes, I love that. Okay.

MATT: It's pretty cool. I kind of want the Swoleregard shirt so I can look a little less ridiculous when I'm doing Ring Fit. All right. I believe that is all the announcements. So let's go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role. '

(water bubbling) (thunder rumbling) (explosion) ♪ Role, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Role, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Role, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Role, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Role, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Role, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪ ♪ The adventure begins ♪ ♪ They were always beside you ♪ ♪ Your nerdy best friends ♪ ♪ And the DM to guide you ♪ ♪ And they rise from the flames for the battles ahead ♪ ♪ Villains beware because you're about to be dead ♪ ♪ They got magic and flair ♪ ♪ They got falchions and cunning ♪ ♪ They don't see over there ♪ ♪ There's a monster incoming ♪ ♪ Inspiration is waiting, rise up, don't think twice ♪ ♪ Put your fate in your hands, take a chance, ♪ ♪ roll the dice ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪ ♪ Critical Role (roll the dice) ♪ ♪ Critical Role (roll the dice) ♪ ♪ Ooh, ahh ♪ ♪ Can you answer the call ♪ ♪ Dig in deep in your soul ♪ ♪ As the legend unfolds ♪ ♪ Now it's your turn (your turn, your turn) ♪ ♪ to roll ♪ (flames whooshing)

Part I
MATT: And welcome back.

TRAVIS: Holy shit!

MATT: I know. A little intro change.

LAURA: We didn't even give you any like, things. We didn't say anything.

MATT: No, it was just a lot of screaming, which was nice. It was a reprieve for once. Yeah. One good thing about the delay is it gave us time to do some changes to the intro, which was nice. So last we left off: The Mighty Nein, after an intense dinner with Trent and some individuals from Caleb's past with Trent and some individuals from Caleb's past and making an arrangement with Vess DeRogna of the Cerberus Assembly to escort her northward towards the ruins and the excavation of what seems to be the city of Aeor, a pre-Calamity mageocracy that has been long vanished. You made your way to Zadash, purchased some things, and began to inquire about the whereabouts of this individual, Cree, that may have had some information about this Nonagon figure, Lucien, and this history that seemed to have some weird connection with the visions you had while on the island of Rumblecusp. Upon checking, Cree seemed a bit dodgy and not wanting to respond, and then upon scrying, you found her pushing through a blizzard some place far from here. Feeling a bit odd about these circumstances, you went to see if you could glean some information from the corpse of your friend, Mollymauk. You traveled to his resting site where you had buried him, not too far from where he fell nearly a year ago. And upon inspecting the site, discovered the body was not there. In the midst of this, Jester, you decided to scry upon where the body of Mollymauk might be, and was given a vision similar to that of Cree. Another snow-covered, blizzard-battered space where you saw, walking, a familiar purple-skinned tiefling, bundled in furs and leathers pushing his way through the storm, determined and grinning. And that's where we left off. So as you all are scrambling around the rainy space surrounding the grave site of Mollymauk Tealeaf, Jester, you return from your vision.

LAURA: (panting) He-- he's with Cree.

ASHLEY: What do you mean?

LAURA: He was in the snow. He was walking. He was smiling.

ASHLEY: He's alive?

SAM: Did he speak?

LAURA: I mean, if he did, I didn't hear anything. He was smiling.

SAM: He wasn't being held captive. He was there on his own accord?

TRAVIS: Alive, walking. He looked alive?

LAURA: (laughs) He looked alive.

TRAVIS: How is that possible?

MARISHA: Yeah, didn't you send him back to the earth?

TALIESIN: Well, mostly metaphorically, to be honest.

MARISHA: What?

TALIESIN: No, it was just-- it was just burial rites. That's not anything that sticks, necessarily.

LAURA: I'm going to send him a message.

TRAVIS: Whoa, what?

SAM: Why? What message? What?

LAURA: I want to see what he's doing.

LIAM: Do we maybe want to talk about this a little bit further before you stick your finger into that beehive?

LAURA: Why?

SAM: Yeah, if you send him a message, he may-- we'll ruin the element of surprise, if that's something that we want to keep.

ASHLEY: Yeah, but what if he's trying to find us, to contact us and he doesn't know--

LIAM: He's looking in the wrong place.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: And we've never been there.

MARISHA: He's with Cree. I mean, that's someone from his past, which means maybe he has some sort of memory, unless Cree was responsible for helping to bring him back.

SAM: Which could be, right?

TRAVIS: I think that's fairly likely.

SAM: Wasn't she part of that group that did that before?

MARISHA: Tomb Takers.

LAURA: And she did stuff with blood. I mean, maybe she knows how to bring people back.

LIAM: He prepared us for this.

MARISHA: We told Cree.

SAM: What?

MARISHA: We delivered the news that Molly died to Cree, didn't we?

TRAVIS: I don't know. If only one of us took notes.

TALIESIN: I recall that, I believe.

MATT: You told The Gentleman.

MARISHA: Told The Gentleman? But Cree was still around at that time.

MATT: Cree was around and working under him at the time.

LIAM: This is surprising, but I don't know that we should be--

MARISHA: Is it that surprising?

LIAM: -- completely shocked. No, because he told us his origin story, No, because he told us his origin story, and now he is traveling with the very people he was with before his return from the earth the first time, the second time, the ninth time?

TRAVIS: Just off of Jester's idea, because the fucking chances of Molly being alive or whoever he is also being in the place that we're about to go to is extraordinary. If you send him a message and not-Molly doesn't recognize your voice, then--

LAURA: We'll know it's not him, for sure.

TRAVIS: Right.

LAURA: What if he remembers us?

TRAVIS: How does a message work? If you don't go, "Hi, it's me, Jester," do they know it's you, or just a voice appears?

LAURA: That's a really good question, Fjord. I think if they've met me, they know it's me.

MARISHA: But has he met--

LAURA: Exactly.

MARISHA: -- you? Okay.

TALIESIN: I'll also, just to put it out there, we're not hard people to find. I mean, if your friend was going to leave word, he could have, which either means that things are different or that it's for some strange reason, it's too dangerous to contact you.

MARISHA: We left him a note.

LAURA: We did?

TALIESIN: Where?

LIAM: Ja. I put it in his coat.

LAURA: What did it say?

SAM: But we found his coat.

ASHLEY: Wait, is-- let's check.

SAM: Oh, let's look in the coat. Is the note still in the coat?

MATT: No, it is not.

LAURA: (gasps) They got the note!

TRAVIS: Did he leave a reply in the coat?

SAM: I'm looking.

MATT: Make an investigation check.

SAM: One.

MATT: Well, Reliable Talent.

SAM: Sure, but it's still a natural one.

MATT: Reliable Talent. Do you want to take the one?

SAM: 23. (laughter)

MATT: A heavy inspection of the interior of the coat, and there were a number of pockets sewn into it, hidden spaces-- nothing.

SAM: There's this cool flower detail and there's this amazing dagger dagger dagger thing on the outside, and it's got these fingerless gloves. It's really awesome.

TALIESIN: I never noticed the wings on the back.

LAURA: It's really cool. And it's comfortable, but also sexy.

SAM: Yeah. (laughter)

ASHLEY: He's got to remember us, right?

MARISHA: He didn't remember anything when he woke up before, though. What if it's just brand new every time, or maybe Molly was a failed version of the ritual, and maybe this time it wasn't.

LAURA: But even if I contact him, how would it be ruining the surprise? It's not like they know that we're going there. I could just be like, "Oh my god, you came back! How are you feeling?"

SAM: Well, right now, I mean, right now you've contacted Cree twice.

LAURA: But just to say like, "Hey, how's Molly?" I didn't go like, "Hey Cree--"

SAM: She doesn't know that you know where she is.

LAURA: Exactly.

SAM: But if you also contact Anti-Mauk, what are we going to call it? He's not Mollymauk any more.

TRAVIS: Nonagon.

SAM: Nonagon?

TALIESIN: Nonagon is right in the middle, I guess.

MARISHA: I guess we could ask him.

ASHLEY: Wait, did you say Mollygon?

TRAVIS: (laughs) Mollygon.

SAM: Anyway, if we contacted him, even if he doesn't recognize you, he's going to turn to his good friend Cree and be like, "Hey, I just heard a voice in my head," and she's going to be like, "Oh shit, they're coming for us!"

TALIESIN: I have to agree. I think discretion.

LIAM: Yes, I can't think of a reason why not to wait. We could certainly do it tomorrow or the day after. The whole point to come here was to get inside information about where we're going, quietly, and that's gone. So we don't want to stick a finger in ahead of time. Maybe we find something new in the next couple of days, but I agree. I think just wait.

TRAVIS: It's like the sales call, like, are you interested in a new HVAC unit? Press one to--

TALIESIN: Can you still talk to plants?

LAURA: Well, yeah, you gave me the ability, after all.

TALIESIN: There gotta be-- Are there things growing in the earth?

MATT: Yeah, there are low bushes and some trees.

TALIESIN: They would know when the earth got dug up.

LAURA: Oh, they would!

TALIESIN: Maybe.

LAURA: Okay.

TALIESIN: It'll give us a timeline.

LAURA: I'm going to go and talk to a nearby shrub or some grass in this area or something.

MATT: Okay, there are elements of crabgrass clusters amongst the mud as well as some stunted bushes and small trees that are scattered throughout this plains area.

LAURA: I'm going to kneel down on the ground and get really low and talk to the crabgrass.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Oh, crabgrass. So just recently, a friend of ours was dug up from the earth and came back to life. Did you feel a great disturbance in the ground lately? I don't know.

MATT: "Yeah, there was some movement." (laughter)

ASHLEY: Oh, come on.

LAURA: There was?

MATT: "Yeah, there was a guy under there and then some people came by and then they took him out."

LAURA: There were multiple people that took him out?

MATT: "Yeah, it was a small group or something."

LAURA: Wow. Do you, I mean, I know it's hard to tell time, but do you have any idea how many, like, you know, suns and moons there were, or hot and colds there were? Or, I don't know, do you know how long ago it was?

MATT: "I don't follow. I don't-- Oh, you just mean, like, a cycle?"

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: "Like a day/night cycle?"

LAURA: Oh. Yeah, like a day/night cycle, yeah. You're smart.

MATT: "I've never had a conversation like this before!"

(laughter)

MATT: "I'm kind of catching myself off guard with the things I know. It's really wild!"

(laughter)

MATT: "I'd put it at maybe 50 or so cycles back."

LAURA: Wow, that was a while! You have a good memory.

MATT: "Well, you know, not all crabgrass is as cool as me." (laughter) "What's your name, by the way?"

LAURA: I'm Jester! Do you have a name?

MATT: "I don't think so. You wanna give me one?"

LAURA: Yeah. Henry.

MATT: "I'm Henry. Henry Crabgrass."

LAURA: Henry Crabgrass, and I'll pet Henry.

MATT: "Ah, consent, please."

LAURA: Oh, may I pet you?

MATT: "Yes, you may."

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: "Thank you."

LAURA: I really like this guy. He's so nice.

SAM: Is Henry a single blade of crabgrass or is he--

LAURA: A cluster of crabgrass?

LIAM: A collective Henry, or?

MATT: You get the sense they're not individual ones. It is a cluster of crabgrass roots that encompass a hive crabgrass mind, if you will, that is now known as Henry.

LAURA: Henry says it was like 50 days ago that Molly came back to life, and there were multiple people. Did you feel how many people? Did you get an idea?

MATT: "Ah, it's kind of hard to tell when, you know, you're grass." (laughter) "I remember feeling a bunch of footprints."

LAURA: Okay.

TALIESIN: Did Molly come up on his own or?

LAURA: Oh, when the body came out of the ground, was he moving or did he start moving after he was out?

MATT: "I heard some digging and then I heard some chanting."

LAURA: (gasps) Chanting. Ooh, that's a good one to know. Did you hear what they were chanting? Can you repeat any of it? You have a good memory, after all.

MATT: "I mean, there are limitations to a grass, apparently."

(laughter)

MATT: "I don't even know what language we're talking now."

(laughter)

MATT: "To be fair, I don't really know what language is! It's really wild."

TRAVIS: It's all downhill for Henry from here.

LAURA: Yeah, existential. Henry, is there anything you want? Is there anything you need? Can I do anything for you?

SAM: Water?

MATT: "I mean, just stick around. It's nice to have someone to talk to."

LAURA: Oh, okay. (worried noise) Tell you what, we'll stick around for at least 10 more minutes.

MATT: "I'll take it!"

LAURA: All right. (laughter)

SAM: We can dig up Henry and take him with us in, like, a pot.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LAURA: Here's the thing. What if Henry is, like-- Henry seems a little bigger. What if I accidentally break parts of Henry off?

LIAM: Yeah, let's not turn this into a horror story.

LAURA: And then we're torturing him?

TALIESIN: Henry's just going to get eaten.

LAURA: This is bringing up all sorts of weird stuff, you guys, because when we step on grass, are we hurting it?

TRAVIS: Oh, you know.

ASHLEY: Could ask him.

LAURA: Henry!

MATT: "Yeah?"

LAURA: Does it hurt when I step on you?

MATT: "Well, a little."

LAURA and ASHLEY: Oh no!

LAURA: Oh god!

(laughter)

LAURA: Now I know why Essek flies everywhere: he's got a heart of gold.

MATT: "It's not bad. It's just a little pressure tingle."

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: "I'm used to it. It's kind of what grass does. It gets stepped on."

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Jester, is the grass upsetting you?

LAURA: I mean, he's so nice.

TRAVIS: He's not saying terrible things to you? I'll summon the--

LAURA: No, no, Fjord! No, no. I'm just going to for 10 minutes while we hang out. I'm just going to, if it's okay, Henry, I'm just going to keep petting the grass.

ASHLEY: Does he want any water or anything?

LAURA: I mean, it's been raining. We don't want to waterlog him.

LIAM: It makes you wonder. Maybe vegetarians are the real predators. (giggles)

LAURA: Wow.

TALIESIN: Right here. (laughter)

LAURA: (gasps) Caduceus, you know could speak to plants this the whole time.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LAURA: (gasps) Whoa.

TALIESIN: Well, I mean, yeah, you sit on a horse, these things happen.

ASHLEY: Is he enjoying the pets?

LAURA: He seemed like he thought it was okay.

ASHLEY: Scritchy scritchy.

LAURA: My friend Yasha is petting you, too, now.

MATT: "All right. Consent, please."

LAURA: You have to ask if it's okay.

ASHLEY: May I give you scritches, Henry?

LAURA: She's asking if it's okay.

MATT: "Aw, it's okay."

LAURA: He says it's okay.

MATT: "Okay. Okay."

TRAVIS: Oh my god. We're petting crabgrass.

LAURA: Okay, so what are we going to do? If we're not going to call Molly, what are we going to do? Where are we going? What are we doing? Because he's up there. He's alive, and he's walking through the snow.

TRAVIS: Because you've scryed, does that give us a location that we could somehow bamf to, or it doesn't matter?

LAURA: It's just, no.

TRAVIS: It's not any closer to his location? Hasn't given us an advantage in trying to find him?

LAURA: I didn't see anything around it other than snow.

SAM: Well, if they're, if they're walking and they started on this journey 50 days ago, they're probably not going very quickly. I mean, it took them that long to get up there and they can't get there any faster.

MARISHA: Exactly. They're already-- they have such a headstart.

SAM: Yeah, but we can catch up in--

TALIESIN: They're not walking, are they?

SAM: -- six seconds.

MARISHA: We don't know how deep into the tundra that they are.

LIAM: Yeah, and we've already been warned that it's squirrelly there with magic. That delivery to that point might not be as reliable.

SAM: So should we tear up the rest of our plans for the week and just go now?

LAURA: I don't think we can leave early. I think Vess has a set itinerary, right?

TALIESIN: I'll also say now that we know what's happening, between the two of us, we have deities and friends to call upon. We have Locate Creature. We have a lot of options for keeping tabs on.

TRAVIS: And if we were able to look successfully once, we could do it again, as long as we're not detected.

LAURA: Right. They didn't seem to notice when I did it.

LIAM: Yeah, I'd probably prefer to keep an eye on them, but not alarm whoever they are.

TRAVIS: Right.

ASHLEY: That's probably a good idea.

TALIESIN: Keep it quiet.

LAURA: Well, what do we do? Where do we go? What are we doing?

TRAVIS: Kind of hard to focus after that.

LIAM: Yeah, it's hard not to act. I understand, Jester, after learning so much.

SAM: Yeah. I mean, I want to talk to Mollymauk, but I don't want to blow it. So maybe we just continue and wait? Oh god, that sounds awful.

MARISHA: Maybe we can talk to Vess and see if she'd be willing to accelerate her plans. We're also waiting on commissions for some heavy clothing.

LAURA: Oh my gosh. I have the best clothes coming, you guys. I can't wait to wear it.

SAM: I'm a hundred percent with you, but wait, talk to Vess to accelerate her plans?

MARISHA: To leave sooner.

SAM: What Fjord said earlier or whoever, it's very coincidental that Mollymauk and Cree are going to the exact same spot we are.

MARISHA: Yeah. It's not. That's what I just said.

LIAM: That's literally what Beauregard said to us.

MARISHA: Like an hour ago.

SAM: But yeah, no, I'm definitely paying attention but we can't-- should we not tell Vess that we know that--

TRAVIS: There's another interested party.

SAM: -- there's another entity there? I mean, she might have sent them, right?

TALIESIN: Does she know about the Tomb Takers?

SAM: She has to.

LIAM: Well, that's your thing.

MARISHA: I'd be willing to bet that she knows about the Tomb Takers. None of this is coincidental. Everything has been pointing to this.

SAM: We can't ask her to accelerate her plans. Unless we come up with some excuse that doesn't involve the Tomb Takers.

TALIESIN: Unless knowing the truth would work. Would it?

LAURA: Didn't they steal her book or something?

MARISHA: They had a book. I don't-- we-- it's a little vague on whose book it was and who was running from whom, but she was chasing them down, and I think she now has the book. What if we just loosely ask her--

LAURA: I'll send her a message. And just be like, hey, were you part of the Tomb Takers? Did they steal your book?

MARISHA: Either one of two things. She contracted the Tomb Takers or the Tomb Takers contracted her.

TRAVIS: Do it.

TALIESIN: I feel like this is a conversation for in person.

LIAM: There's also the question, though, if she hired the Tomb Takers and she hired us, but she did not tell us that she had any connection to the Tomb Takers. What are we stirring up with?

MARISHA: I don't think she hired Cree and Molly and them this go around. I think it's an arms race.

LAURA: She's going to want to know that they're out there.

MARISHA: I think whatever they got into before either she got wise to whatever Molly and his crew were a part of or vice versa. One infected the other and now I think it's a race to the finish line because the Tomb Takers haven't been active in two years, according to the records from the Cobalt Reserve. So I don't think she's hired the Tomb Takers. I think we're the people who are racing against them for whatever endgame they're both chasing towards.

TALIESIN: The Tomb Takers, Part II.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: The Two Tomb--

MARISHA: The Tomb--

TALIESIN: The Tomb-- Tomb Taker--

MARISHA: Taker's Revenge.

TALIESIN: The Take Twokers.

LAURA: The Take Tombers! No, that's stupid.

MARISHA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: I do feel like this is an opportunity to make up ground and otherwise, oh boy.

SAM: An oppor-tomb-ity? (laughter)

LIAM: Mighty Nein did it better.

TRAVIS: I think she'd be interested in going sooner if we let her know that other people are that far ahead of us.

MARISHA: Right.

SAM: Okay, okay. We still need to get our stuff.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: Which we ordered ... today?

LAURA: Today?

TRAVIS: Yesterday.

LIAM: I think so.

TALIESIN: You can always do a little--

TRAVIS: ♪ Yesterday. ♪

LAURA: Yeah. Did we order it--?

TRAVIS: ♪ Love was -- (mumbled "Yesterday" lyrics) ♪

MATT: I believe you ordered them before the dinner.

LAURA: Okay, so yesterday.

MATT: So yesterday.

TRAVIS: (quietly) ♪ Yesterday... ♪

MARISHA: We don't want to go against that estate. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Besides, we're not singing "I Talk to the Trees" for a good five minutes.

MATT: Yeah, so you have-- there's some of the commissions that are three more days before they were ready.

MARISHA: Three more days. That's still sooner than... What day is it? It's still sooner than--

TRAVIS: We had like six days left.

MATT: So you still have-- you'd be two days early if you were to wait for the commission.

ASHLEY: Okay, that's something.

SAM: And we can scry once a day, at least. And if they seem to be getting closer to their goal, we can say, all right, we got to go.

TRAVIS: Yeah, or we could go drop more money on those people and be like, "Work around the clock."

MARISHA: Work faster. I agree with Caduceus, though. I think this is a conversation to have with Vess DeRogna in person.

LAURA: Should I let her know we're coming to talk to her?

TRAVIS: I think so.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

SAM: Where are we?

MARISHA: We're--

LAURA: At Molly's grave.

MARISHA: Halfway between Shadycreek Run and--

TRAVIS: Your name is Veth.

SAM: Got all this writing on my arm.

LAURA: Caleb can get us back.

LIAM: Ja, I can take us back to the city. We need to impose on the same magic circle.

SAM: The city of Rexxentrum?

LIAM: Ja.

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: Oh. We're going back to Rexxentrum.

LIAM: Well, wait.

LAURA: What?

LIAM: Right. If we're going to see her-- she was in Rexxentrum, right?

MARISHA: Correct.

MATT: She was in Rexxentrum, yes. You previously were in Zadash.

LIAM: Zadash.

SAM: Where my family is.

ASHLEY: Wait.

MATT: Where your family is.

ASHLEY: Anything we were going to do in Shadycreek?

TRAVIS: We were going to do some research in Shadycreek. But I think we figured out everything we needed to, right?

ASHLEY: Yeah,

LAURA: I mean, they're probably all-- We would just find out they're all up in the north, too.

ASHLEY: Yeah. Yeah.

TALIESIN: With a night of sleep we could--

SAM: And Zadash is where--

TALIESIN: -- start asking some questions.

SAM: -- Pumat is and all of our stuff is. We can go to Rexxentrum and then go back to Zadash.

MARISHA: Right. We can go to Rexxentrum, talk to her, go to Zadash, pick up our stuff and your family, and-- what are we going to do with your family?

SAM: We'll figure that out later.

MARISHA: Okay.

(laughter)

MARISHA: All right, all right. To Rexxentrum?

SAM: To talk to Vess?

LIAM: We really could get your-- As long as we use circles, we can go get your family in Zadash and then go to Rexxentrum, because there's circles in both cities and I'm still capable of traveling to both places today.

MARISHA: Okay, okay. So we go to Zadash, we drop more money on these people, we'll be like, "Go faster with your commissions," pick up family, then to Rexxentrum, then go back to Zadash, then go back to Rexxentrum, and then head out.

TALIESIN: Or we just take a couple of days.

SAM: Pick up my family. They can stay in Zadash for a couple of days. It's fine.

TALIESIN: I also think a couple more days figuring out what we know might be-- like, are they actually going to the same place that we're going? Let's confirm that.

LAURA: I can send them a message.

TALIESIN: No, no, we can just-- I just figured Commune might do it.

LAURA: Oh, or you can ask your god, right.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

SAM: Do it.

LAURA: Gods know a lot of things.

TALIESIN: They do, and your friend seems to know some stuff.

LAURA: Yeah, he knows a lot.

SAM: Do it, Rockapella.

TALIESIN: He's got a nice-- well, we have to wait a day.

SAM: Oh. Don't do it, Rockapella.

TRAVIS: Rock-a-doodle?

LAURA: I could do it. No, I don't know if I could. Hold on, let me look. I could do it today, but I already communed.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I think it gets weird if you keep doing it, if I recall.

LAURA: Let's go to Rexxentrum.

SAM: Okay!

LAURA: Come on, come on, come on. I'm going to send a message to your dude. Who am I sending message to, to let them know we're coming?

MARISHA: Yudala Fon.

LAURA: I'm going to send the message to Yudala Fon.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: All right, what do you say?

LAURA: Ey-oh, we're coming through! Get ready because it's happening right now.

MARISHA: It's Beau with the Mighty Nein.

LAURA: It's Beau with the Mighty Nein coming through any second now.

MATT: Brief pause before they respond with a, "A very curious notification, but of course, you are welcome." That's all.

LAURA: Cool.

LIAM: Is it still raining on us?

MATT: At the grave? Yes.

LIAM: So "any second" really means about a half hour because first I will ritually cast the dome and then I'll pull out some rags and start wiping down the stone that I have found to draw the circle on.

MARISHA: Can't you draw it in the mud?

LIAM: No, the chalk does not-- no, it cannot hold.

LAURA: Can you just dig in the mud with your finger?

MARISHA: Yeah, with your finger?

LIAM: It's not mud drawing. It involves chalk. There are ingredients. There's ways that--

TRAVIS: Are you sure? I think it is a pretty lax rules.

SAM: Put a bunch of stones in a circle?

LIAM: Caleb stops talking to them.

TRAVIS: Have you tried? (laughter)

SAM: Just draw it on Henry.

MATT: If you want to, you can search for a stone surface that might function for this.

LIAM: Ja, that's what I'm saying, it is out in this field finding a large enough stone, putting up-- spending 10 minutes to ritually cast the dome, wiping that shit down for a couple of minutes. So 25 to 30-ish minutes later.

LAURA: Henry.

LIAM: Easy peasy.

MATT: "Hey, yeah?"

LAURA: Do you know of any big stones in the area? Big enough for a bunch of people to stand on?

MATT: "There's maybe a couple of stones nearby. A little bit that way and like right over there. That's all I know."

LAURA: Am I noticing any kind of shifts in the blades as he says that way and that way?

MATT: No. You just hear it in the voice.

LAURA: There's some over that way and some over that way.

SAM: (laughs)

MATT: You look over and there's, like, some stones, like, six inches, four inches.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: That's grass. (laughter)

MATT: Make a perception check if you want to with disadvantage because of the heavy rain.

LIAM: Sure.

TRAVIS: How long does that spell stay up?

LAURA: I don't know.

LIAM: Investigation, you say?

MATT: No, this is perception.

LIAM: Perception, you say. That is a 21.

TRAVIS: Woo!

MATT: Nice, with disadvantage? All right. Yeah, so within 15 minutes or so you find near the base, the eastern side of the base of some of the rolling hills that signify the area where that fight where you lost Mollymauk happened, there are some sections of heavy stone, probably volcanic bombs from a long time ago that were launched here. That's going to be more akin to the mountainous rock that surrounds the valley. But you find a few sections there that are a little flatter. It's still not a perfect flat surface, but it is large enough. If you push some of the mud away and put the dome over and dry it off for a moment, you could probably get it to work.

LIAM: Okay, and this is the kill site for Molly, you say?

MATT: Not far from it, yeah.

LIAM: I'll take that time to do it. People can huddle in out of the rain, if they want. And I'm getting my Dynasty clothing totally wrecked and muddy and disgusting. So it's good that what's old is new again, and good that we're getting new clothing and I will finish it off. Everybody in.

MATT: (rapid whooshing) You all jump into the teleportation circle and emerge in the base of the Rexxentrum archive. The familiar, warm interior is welcoming due to the previously very cold and damp outside of which you have been suffering for the past 30, 40 minutes or so. Nobody seems to be bothered by your presence, as you did announce yourself. And you make your way up to the streets of Rexxentrum without issue. Whereabouts would you like to go?

LAURA: Should we go talk to Vess?

MARISHA: Yeah, should we check in with her? Do you need to do another thing or?

LAURA: Yeah, sure. I'll send a message to Vess DeRogna.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Hi! We're coming to see you. It's super important. Are you at home? Where are you? We need to talk. Any second now.

TRAVIS: I'm out of practice. That shit's hard.

MATT: She responds, "I am not home at the moment. However, I can be there within the next four or so hours if you'll be around."

LAURA: She says she'll be home in four or so hours.

ASHLEY: We could try to hurry up our jackets.

TRAVIS: She's with Molly.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah.

LAURA: (gasps)

TRAVIS: Yes, yes, yes?

SAM: No. Anything else we can do here? Should we just fast forward four hours?

LAURA: Yeah, we can just go to her house and wait, I suppose. Should I send that message?

MARISHA: Warm pretzel?

LAURA: Warm pretzel, definitely, and, like, some cocoa, because it was pretty cold.

TALIESIN: Oh, cocoa and pretzel.

TRAVIS: Nice. Like sailing through a storm.

MARISHA: We go get warm pretzels and cocoa and mulled wine.

LAURA: Ooh!

MARISHA: That sounds so good.

MATT: Okay. Yeah, you can totally acquire these things with a short jaunt through a number of the various shopping districts here in Rexxentrum. The city is diverse in its offerings. It doesn't take you too long to acquire what you're seeking. I'd say, if you're getting that for the group, go ahead and mark off one and a half gold for the lot of it.

MARISHA: It's on me, you guys. It's on me.

TALIESIN: Is it like the German Christmas markets where you get a discount if you return the cup, but otherwise you get the commemorative cup?

MATT: Sure.

TRAVIS: Wow. Good call.

TALIESIN: I want a stein, man.

MATT: You can have a Rexxentrum stein, if you'd like.

TALIESIN: Every year it's a different-- you collect them.

LIAM: Oh man. Now I want it.

TALIESIN: I miss [inaudible].

MATT: If you want to pay a little extra, you can get some Rexxentrum steins and add it to your inventory.

TALIESIN: I will gladly put that in for the group.

MATT: Go for it. Two additional silver per stein. You're good to go.

TALIESIN: Two, four, six.

MATT: If you want them engraved with your name, it's an extra silver.

LAURA: (gasps)

TALIESIN: 17, 18, 19...

(laughter)

TALIESIN: I'm going to get some for the family.

SAM: Sure, yeah. Get one for my child.

TALIESIN: All right, I'm just going to--

LAURA: I'm adding that to my other possessions.

LIAM: Best part about them is you almost cannot lift them.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Brutal.

MATT: All righty. It is not raining here in Rexxentrum, but the sky is still cloudy and gray. It is, I'd say, at this point in the day, starting to push towards later afternoon, about the time that you've been doing this and you guys were also looking for-- to what else? What else did you want to accomplish in the interim?

LAURA: Anybody want to see if they could quickly hurry their commissions?

SAM: Did we order these things here?

LAURA: No, no, you're right. I'm sorry. I'm stupid.

SAM: I honestly don't remember.

MATT: The clothing, I believe, you ordered here, and then the magical item that you ordered was--

TALIESIN: Back there.

MATT: Pumat, back in Zadash.

SAM: Clothes here.

MARISHA: You're right.

TRAVIS: Let me just check my notes. Yeah, Rexxentrum.

MARISHA: Yep. (laughs)

TRAVIS: Right there.

SAM: You're looking at a receipt from Bennigan's. (laughter)

TRAVIS: The Monte Cristo is really good. (laughter)

SAM: Let's speed up our clothes.

TRAVIS: Yeah, that'll be fun.

LAURA: I don't know if I can.

SAM: What do you mean?

LAURA: They said that mine's complicated.

SAM: Money.

LAURA: I gave them a lot of money already.

SAM: I have money.

TALIESIN: Do I have to say it again? It's just always true. It's just nine women can't make a baby in a month. Money can only do so much.

LAURA: They seemed kind of annoyed at me.

TRAVIS: Maybe they could give you something in the interim, like warm clothing until the really nice--

LAURA: Fjord! How am I going to get the really nice stuff if we're all the way up north?! I want my pretty things that I ordered!

TRAVIS: You could come back for--

LAURA: Fjord!

TRAVIS: I feel like I'm learning something new. (laughter)

TALIESIN: I also don't have any armor on right now. That's kind of a problem.

TRAVIS: Oh, right.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LIAM: Travis, I don't really think you are. (laughter)

TRAVIS: You are ridiculous. Ridiculous.

ASHLEY: I want to try to make a shot from here.

TRAVIS: Is that Wingdings? (laughter)

LIAM: Serious storytelling.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Do we want to stay-- yeah, let's go ask.

MARISHA: Never hurts to ask, right?

TRAVIS: Let's go ask.

MARISHA: Yeah. Maybe they were super inspired and they were like, "Oh my god, I've been embroidering all night. You unlocked my mind."

TRAVIS: The shopkeeper's got a bunch of family members that are also very skilled.

MARISHA: Yeah, no, it was a family project. Like making quilt.

TALIESIN: It's going to fall apart halfway through.

LIAM: Job of a lifetime.

TRAVIS: Let's try it.

MATT: Most of your outfits will be ready by the end of this evening, if not the next morning, except for yours, which required some very specific elements there. Upon asking, for an additional 30 gold, they can get the extra hands to rush it.

LAURA: Okay. Okay, sure, here's 30 more gold.

MATT: "All right, thank you very much."

MARISHA: You look like you have reservations?

LAURA: I just don't have any money left because I spent it all on these clothes.

MARISHA: Well, let me. I cover Jester. I cover Jester. Yeah, I'm a monk.

SAM: Can we pay a little extra if they hire nine pregnant women? (laughter)

MARISHA: I cover Jester. Put money back.

TALIESIN: A good rule of life.

MATT: So thus all the rest of the currently outstanding outfits that have been commissioned, will be ready by the next morning.

SAM: Sweet.

LAURA: Wow!

MATT: Except for your armor piece in Zadash, which will be two more days.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TRAVIS: Is that Pumat?

MATT: Two to three more days. Because it was four days for the piece to be complete.

TRAVIS: He can make another Pumat. Let's go.

MARISHA: Yeah, okay, we'll go. We'll rush him when we get to Zadash.

TALIESIN: That's a whole thing just getting there anyway.

MATT: At this point, with the conversations being had, hopping from location to location to ensure things will be ready for you in the time you wish to leave, right now the sun is close to setting the sky. The clouded evening sky begins to grow darker and more purple. What would you like to do? Roughly three, three and a half hours have passed.

LAURA: Oh, we should head to her house. I'll send her a message, because I realized I never let her know that that was indeed something we were doing.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Okay, okay, we're on our way to your place. Hopefully you'll be there soon because we're on our way.

TRAVIS: This is not Guitar Hero. Slow down.

LAURA: It's Jester, by the way. Can't wait to see you.

MATT: "Very well. I will see you there soon enough. I'm just finishing up some of my work. If I'm not there when you arrive, just be patient."

LAURA: She said be patient.

SAM: Patience is our middle name.

TRAVIS: Molly, this armor-- are you saying that we would go on this--

MARISHA: Did you just call him Molly?

TRAVIS: Jesus fucking balls. (laughter)

LIAM: It's really not that surprising with the events of the day, Fjord.

TRAVIS: A little sediment on the ocean floor just got kicked up like crazy. It'll settle. Caduceus, the armor that you're waiting to get, are you saying we would leave and go without you getting this armor?

TALIESIN: Say we pick up the armor and leave immediately.

TRAVIS: Okay. Get the armor first.

TALIESIN: Get the armor and 10 minutes later we're on the way.

SAM: Excellent thinking, Percival. (laughter)

LIAM: I mean, he is wearing purple.

TRAVIS: I don't know what I've been thinking of over the past few weeks.

MARISHA: How transparent are we going to be with Vess?

SAM: I mean, Caduceus is with us. So we'll tell the truth, I guess.

TRAVIS: Oh, that's a good point. You should drop one little nugget of information at a time and maybe have Caduceus see how she's reacting.

TALIESIN: We can just start with letting her know that the Tomb Takers might be heading to the same place and see if she knows who that is.

TRAVIS: The names?

TALIESIN: Well, and she might be able to fill in a bunch that we don't know. I mean... Uh-oh, we activated--

MARISHA: The names, I just got to find the names of the rest of the Tomb Takers.

LIAM: The music even synced up to her grabbing it.

TRAVIS: I know.

MARISHA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: If Marisha's eyes can turn white and roll back in her head, they would. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Otis, Zorel, and...Tyforel?

MARISHA: Tyffial?

ASHLEY: No, Tyffial.

SAM: And Cree.

LAURA: And Cree.

MARISHA: And Cree.

SAM: And--

SAM and LAURA: Nonagon.

SAM: Lucien. Okay. Do we have any gifts or anything for good old Vess?

TRAVIS: A bottle of wine?

TALIESIN: I bought an extra stein. Bought a few.

SAM: Cool.

LAURA: Oh, and Zoran. Did you say Zoran?

TRAVIS: Who's Zoran?

LAURA: Zoran is one of the--

TRAVIS: Tomb Takers?

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Maybe as a start we just mention that we've heard another group is already ahead of us and give it a beat. See how she takes it. See how she reacts.

MARISHA: I got to find my page.

SAM: I will knock on the door.

MATT: As you arrive at the familiar exterior of Vess DeRogna's tower, you go to knock on the door, and as your hand extends, the door (creaking) opens. Hand passes into the air. The interior furniture is completely different from last time you were here. The floor has a deep, velvet green pattern carpet across. You can see the furniture has been arranged to be like a tea table in the middle with four chairs and a cross formation on it. You can see an iron chandelier hanging from the center of the ceiling with candles around it that are lit. There looks to be a really, really nice painting on the wall, across to the right of you that depicts a lush jungle with different colors that seemed to fade and change. And you see different shapes and designs emerge then disappear into it. It's a very trippy piece of enchanted art. The same staircase curves upward, but other than that, it is an unfamiliar interior to when you were last here.

TRAVIS: Can I walk over to the painting?

MATT: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: Can I touch it?

MATT: You can.

LIAM: On brand.

MATT: So as you reach out and touch the exterior of this painting, your hand presses against it, and you watch the color ripples off of it, like the pressure caused the enchantment to react to the heat.

TALIESIN: The oils on your hand are just going to make that thing fall apart faster. We lose precious art every year that way.

TRAVIS: I feel terrible now. Is anything moving in there? Anything looking out from the painting?

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: 14.

MATT: 14. You see occasionally in the shadow what looks to be a set of glowing eyes that occasionally blinks, and then subsides into the shadow and seems to appear elsewhere in the painting and look out in your direction.

LAURA: Can you smack the eyes? I'm saying over your shoulder, because I'm watching you do it.

TRAVIS: Do you see them, too?

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: I mean, I could try. What if it's a real thin membrane and I just fall through it?

LAURA: Just smack it lightly.

TRAVIS: I'll smack it lightly on the eyes.

MATT: Okay, as you smack the painting in the eyes, you hear, "Ack!" And suddenly in a rush of air, something like a heavy bat flutters out past your face. You end up instinctually pulling back and your arms go wild as you watch something winged emerge from the side of this wall (fluttering) around the room in a circle, before landing at the top of the room at the top of the arch chamber, you can see this little wooden ledge that marks where the ceiling meets the wall, and this tiny, humanoid, scrawny, gnarled creature with leathery wings is going. "Ah!"

TRAVIS: I'm sorry! Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I hit the--

MATT: (snarls)

TRAVIS: (screams)

MATT: Flies up the stairs.

LIAM: I-- wait! Oh.

TRAVIS: That was my fault?

SAM: Was that an imp?

TRAVIS: I don't know. Did it look like an animal, or did it look like a--

MATT: It looked like a small fiendish humanoid with leathery wings.

LAURA: Oh my god!

TRAVIS: I mean, I just figured-- I'm not sure what I figured. I didn't think it was going to come out.

LAURA: I didn't think so either. I thought that it was just a magic picture. I didn't know.

MARISHA: Please slap every painting you come across.

TRAVIS: You can count on me. (laughter)

LIAM: Maybe don't go poking any more things in these wizard towers.

TRAVIS: Are there any sculptures in this room?

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: She said to be patient if she's not here.

LIAM: Doing great.

TRAVIS: Yep.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: I'm sure she won't notice a thing.

MATT: The new hero's journey for Fjord. One man's war against all forms of artistic expression.

TRAVIS: Stained glass, oil painting. (laughter)

MATT: Do you guys have a seat, or do you make your way up the stairs?

TRAVIS: Around the little tea set? Is that a tea set on the table?

MATT: There is a small tea table. There's no tea set on it currently, but it is small enough and compact enough to not be a full spread.

TRAVIS: Before any of you cause any more trouble, I'm going to sit on my hands.

SAM: I guess we'll sit and wait.

LAURA: Yeah, I'm just going to take a few steps up the staircase and look.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Do I see anything?

MATT: You slowly step up, and as you do, the wood creaks slightly with the weight shift. (creaking) As you glance around the side, this very faint bit of torchlight seems to be slightly flickering and bouncing from the upward curved wall, and you see a shadow begin to stretch across that side of the wall heading in your direction, and you hear footsteps.

LAURA: Vess?

MATT: "I'll be right there."

LAURA: Oh, you're here!

MATT: And you see, stepping down the staircase, meeting your position, Vess. This time dressed in a comfortable deep blue set of lounge robes. The sleeves are very long and dragging down to almost the knee. It splits around the waist and drags about five or six feet behind her along the stairs as it droops down with each progressive step. She's not wearing a lot of the jewelry that she had in a more presentational fashion last time you saw her. This is definitely more of a casual gathering.

LAURA: Oh, I thought you were working within the city, but I would say you're working somewhere else, huh? Were you on another plane of existence doing crazy magical things?

MATT: "More or less. So..." And she continues down the stairs, waiting for you to make way.

LAURA: I'll lean against the banister so she can pass by me.

MATT: She awkwardly squeezes past you with a tiny bit of space, (laughs). "Ahem." Makes her way down towards where the table is, and she, looking around at the center of the chamber, gives a bit of a shrug and whispered word under her breath. And you watch as the four chairs suddenly divide into eight and fill the space around. "My apologies, have a seat."

TRAVIS: Just to let you know, I tapped your painting.

MATT: "I'm very aware."

TRAVIS: Oh, apologies, I had never seen an interactive piece of art before.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: "Well, I hope it was enlightening."

TRAVIS: It was.

LIAM: (clears throat)

LAURA: Is he okay?

MATT: "He'll be fine. He's had far worse. Anyway, so..." And you watch as she tilts her fingers a bit and one of the chairs (creak) grinds out from the table right behind her, and she sits in it, crosses one leg over the other and rests her arms at edge of her knee. "To what do I owe the pleasure of you coming by earlier than our destined meeting?"

MARISHA: Well, (clears throat) we think we should accelerate our plans to leave.

MATT: "For what reason?"

MARISHA: We have on pretty good authority that we're not the only group heading north.

MATT: "Oh, that is very true. There are many interests up there. And there are others who are also seeking the secrets of this excavation? I believe I said as much last time we spoke?"

MARISHA: Mm-hmm, but potentially a group-- maybe a rival group.

TALIESIN: I mean, I'm just going to--

MARISHA: Yeah, go, go.

TALIESIN: -- say it. Does the name The Tomb Takers ring a bell?

MATT: "Sounds somewhat familiar."

SAM: Insight check!

TRAVIS: Everybody!

MATT: Yeah, make an insight check, yeah.

LAURA: Ah! We're all, like, staring at her.

MATT: Well, yeah.

LAURA: Leaning across the tea table.

LIAM: Sure.

ASHLEY: I'm going to do it, because why not? (laughter)

TRAVIS: Yeah!

SAM: 20.

TALIESIN: 20.

MARISHA: 26.

SAM: Ooh.

LIAM: 26.

LAURA: Whoa! Low.

TRAVIS: 19!

MATT: Nice!

ASHLEY: You should go ahead and give me a whisper because I rolled a 12. (laughter)

TRAVIS: That's as high as it gets.

MATT: So for Caleb and Beauregard, I mean, you do see a hint of recognition in her eyes and you see her think for a minute. The eyes kind of dart back and forth slightly before her expression becomes more of a calm smile. She's processing information in an instant. "That is indeed familiar. It is one of many groups I have hired in the past to aid in some of my work. Is this a rival group of yours?"

TALIESIN: Complicated.

MARISHA: An acquaintance.

LIAM: Yeah, little bit of path crossing. Do you remember what the work was that you hired them for?

MATT: "Well, I hired them for a couple of specific things. One of which was a slight trip to an exterior space in Molaesmyr, where I met them in Shadycreek. They were bodyguards of mine as we went to dangerous spaces. It is important to make sure that when you're traveling to not travel alone in such places. But mainly just that bit of work. We've only done maybe two excursions."

TRAVIS: No current employment?

MATT: "Of them? No, I have not seen them in a number of years.

LAURA: Why'd you stop working together then? Just out of curiosity.

SAM: Number of years, you said?

MATT: "Yeah."

SAM: Among them did they have a purple-skinned fellow with horns?

MATT: "They had one member who was a tiefling that matches the description you're giving, yes. So you do know this these people?"

MARISHA: Why did you stop working with them?

SAM: Just some.

MATT: "When the contract is done, you do not have to hire them and when certain individuals after a couple of jobs seem to be..."

MARISHA: Problematic?

MATT: "Less than trustworthy, difficult when it comes to staying focused on the job in front of them, when they are hired help, then you move on."

LAURA: Did the purple guy have Irish accent?

TRAVIS: What's that?

SAM: Or, like, a sort of a vague Irish accent, hard to place?

TRAVIS: Hit or miss, come and goes?

TALIESIN: I thought we got this all out of our system before the camera was rolling. (laughter) I really felt like we had all just gotten everything out, before all this started.

SAM: Like an American accent, but who had a relative-- or who had spent some time in Ireland.

LIAM: Hello, Taliesin.

TRAVIS: Or had just drank a bunch of Guinness.

LIAM: We're are your friends. We've met. (laughter)

TALIESIN: I thought I'd given everyone an opportunity to really, really use all their best material.

LIAM: No, I think we only got about 60% out. (laughter)

MARISHA: Never ending well.

TALIESIN: How much skin is she showing right now? If she if she had tattoos, would we be able to see them?

MATT: Mainly just the neck, the clavicle, and hands, and you can see a bit of the ankles, but most everything else is covered with casual robes.

TALIESIN: Are there any tattoos?

MATT: Make a perception check.

TALIESIN: I'm making a perception check.

SAM: As he perceives--

TALIESIN: (blows raspberry) 12.

MATT: 12. Not from any you could see. There aren't any markings or anything that signifies any sort of permanent markings in the body other than-- I mean, her makeup is flawless.

TALIESIN: Did this group-- they proved untrustworthy. Did they steal anything from you, take anything, try and steal anything from you?

MATT: "They were a bit dodgy about the circumstances of our agreement and when it came to a conclusion of the work in which we had agreed to do, I decided it was best to find individuals that weren't so-- heh, pardon the pun of where I found them: shady. There are there are individuals I've found since that have more of loyalty to the ideals of the Empire. I found it is challenging to work with those-- you would think, at first, who have no particular political aspirations or connection that they could be driven-- agree to do things that would be a bit uncouth, but I don't know. Ambition can be difficult when you are paying people to be unambitious."

TALIESIN: I get that. Did any of them have any tattoos or maybe the purple tiefling?

SAM: The purple one, did you know his name?

MATT: "I believe his name was Lucien."

TALIESIN: Did he or any of the others have tattoos at the time?

MATT: "I mean, a few of them had a number of small bits of ink on their bodies, yes."

LIAM: Sounds like water under the bridge for you, though?

MATT: "For me, yes, I've not seen them in quite some time and while it did not end well, it wasn't with any sort of lingering malice. I just didn't like the way they did their work."

MARISHA: You mentioned them being distracted and having other ambitions. Do you know with what they were distracted?

MATT: "It's hard to say. They were keen to raise prices of their acquired skills mid-contract. They were discovering and pocketing things on expeditions without notifying me, when the contract stated that I was to pass out whatever we found, and I just got the sense that, were this relationship to continue over time, that they wished to shift the dynamic of power and that does not behoove my interests so we went our separate ways."

TRAVIS: Did you send them up to Eiselcross for any of your prior arrangements?

MATT: "One of these excursions was to the north, yes."

TRAVIS: And is there anything that they would be able to use from your former contracts? Any knowledge about what your pursuits might be that they would then want to leverage against you in some sort of way? Privileged information, perhaps?

MATT: "I do not think so, they are not-- hmm. They're not as well-learned as I am. And there is confidence in knowing that perhaps some of the mysteries that we have come across beforehand are a bit beyond their capabilities. I have to ask, as you've-- This is a very curious line of conversation. You know a lot about these individuals. What is your history with them? And your concern, if indeed this is the group of which you say we are up against?"

LIAM: We know they are going to be in the area. I wouldn't say that we're going to be up against them, per se. We have had some dealings with this Lucien in the past. We have had some dealings with this Lucien in the past. He was unreliable, strange and left many questions with us to ponder. So we were surprised to find out that they would be joining us in the north.

SAM: And, forgive us, we've also been sent into situations before without all the the facts and sort of been sprung upon and surprised and sort of been sprung upon and surprised and so we just wanted to make sure that you weren't sending us into a situation without all of the facts.

MATT: "Of course, and I'm appreciative of you notifying me of this. If indeed we are to be on similar paths, it is good to be careful."

SAM: But you're not worried about these other groups and parties that might be up there searching? If we told you that they're up there currently, where our destination is, wouldn't you want to pack up and go right away, or they can't possibly find what you're going to find? Doesn't worry you?

MATT: "In my experience with the Tomb Takers, they are-- they are skilled at a handful of things. None of those skills seem to fall into understanding the depth of the mysteries that wait for us up north."

TALIESIN: What if they've changed?

LAURA: What if they've gotten new knowledge?

MATT: "Well, if they've allied themselves with individuals who perhaps could aid them in this, then haste is something we should consider."

MARISHA: I don't know if I would write off ignorance for blind ambition.

MATT: "It's hard to put your mind at ease until you see where it is we are going. But even the time that I spent with them, it is but the very tip of the iceberg."

TRAVIS: Where we're going, is it trapped? Things that are laid out to deter unknowledgeable folks? Things that are laid out to deter unknowledgeable folks?

MATT: "Trap, eh. The word "trap" insinuates that they were placed specifically to entice and destroy. There are no traps, if you will. There are malfunctioning remnants." There are malfunctioning remnants."

TRAVIS: Perilous features?

MATT: "Numerous, but this is why I've chosen you to accompany me, as I've had not as much luck with individuals in the past, such as these Tomb Takers. You've proven yourself very capable and of aligned interests here in the Empire. So. Based on the recommendations that have been given to me, and what you're capable of, I feel very confident in our ability to delve deeper than anyone else has before in my presence."

MARISHA: What if we told you that the Tomb Takers were working with the Dynasty?

MATT: "In what way?"

MARISHA: In the same way that you hired us: to chase down whatever it is you're not telling us about. You think they can't do the same thing, hire their own group of mercenaries?

MATT: "Well--"

MARISHA: You said so yourself: your biggest fear is that this knowledge and technology will fall into the hands of the Dynasty.

MATT: "I mean, it is very much a concern, but given my previous experience, woe unto whatever poor soul decides to trust them again. But, I agree, with the knowledge they themselves, if indeed you are confident in this, are heading towards a similar goal as us, then perhaps we should leave much sooner."

LIAM: Certainly couldn't hurt.

MATT: "How much time do you need? I can be ready by tonight."

LAURA: Whoa.

TRAVIS: Tomorrow, I think, would be fine.

SAM: We need a couple more days for our armor and stuff.

TRAVIS: Tomorrow morning sounds good.

TALIESIN: I have to wait for equipment

MARISHA: Yeah, we got to check in on--

LAURA: So, like, hurry it up and then wait a little bit. We'll let you now, maybe a couple more days.

SAM: A couple days, a couple of days.

TRAVIS: Be here at 6:00am, first shot up at 11:30.

MATT: "So this knowledge of these Tomb Takers is worrisome, but, like, only somewhat worrisome?"

SAM: No, no, no.

MARISHA: We want to be prepared the best that we can be in order to serve you to the best of our abilities. And we are getting a lot of equipment upgraded, so I don't think you want us to go in weakend, right?

LAURA: What if I send a message and just see how fast they can do the armor? Maybe we can leave tomorrow, depending. I'll send a message.

TALIESIN: All right.

LAURA: Okay, I'm going to send a message.

SAM: Also, Vess, you know much about magic and sorcery,

SAM: Also, Vess, you know much about magic and sorcery, have you ever heard of a spell that could make nine women have one baby after just 30 day, 28 days or so. Have you ever heard of such a thing?

LIAM: Well, that's a 9th-level spell.

TALIESIN: 9th-level [inaudible]. (laughter)

MATT: "It's a curious question, I don't have anything specifically, but it is not beyond the realm of possibility." (laughter)

SAM: I'll work on it.

TALIESIN: Magic doesn't count.

LIAM: That's what the study and laboratory is for in my tower.

LAURA: I'm going to send a message to Pumat. Hi, if we need to leave super fast, how quick could you get Caduceus' armor done? Like, a day? How much would it be?

SAM: And my flask!

LAURA: And flask.

LIAM: I just smile awkwardly at DeRogna while she talks to the air.

MATT: (as Pumat) "That's a tall order there! It's not like I can just rush it, you know. Things take time, sorry."

SAM: Jesus.

LAURA: He's not being very helpful; he says things take time.

TALIESIN: I have a funny feeling this things are just--

LAURA: They take time.

SAM: Or we could just skip the armor and go.

TRAVIS: We should threaten him. Threaten Pumat.

TALIESIN: Big difference in my reality.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

SAM: You'll be fine.

ASHLEY: The armor will be ready then, when?

TALIESIN: 48 hours.

ASHLEY: 48 hours.

LIAM: (Pumat voice) You can't take nine Pumats and make a breastplate.

TALIESIN: Exactly. It is a five point drop in my AC, so.

ASHLEY: I feel like we need.

TRAVIS: It's a five point drop?

TALIESIN: Yep.

LAURA: Wow.

TRAVIS: Oh.

TALIESIN: Yeah, there's a reason I did this.

TRAVIS: Oh shit, I was going to give you my armor, but that's not nearly five points.

TALIESIN: No.

TRAVIS: Holy shit.

LIAM: I think we should get the armor; you're our only healer.

SAM: (laughs) The salt!

LAURA: It's true, it's true, Caduceus.

MARISHA: Well, maybe we can go down there and maybe a little bit of money will change his mind.

MATT: "Is there a problem with this commission you made?"

TALIESIN: Just going to take a couple days, that's all, 48 hours.

MARISHA: They're just a little bit slow, you know what I mean?

MATT: "Well, who have you commissioned for this?"

MARISHA: Pumat Sol, from the Invulnerable Vagrant.

LIAM: Yeah, she's familiar.

LAURA: Have you worked with him?

MATT: "On a couple of occasions, yes. He does quite a bit of work for the Cerberus Assembly. I will speak to him, see if I can expedite this process."

TRAVIS: Yo, Pumat's dead.

LAURA: Wait, be nice to him, though, okay, because he's been really nice to us.

MATT: "Of course."

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Uh oh.

MARISHA: So by tomorrow?

MATT: "Well, based I do not quite know exactly what it is he's working on for you, but if I inquire, I will have some better information, and perhaps a means of expediting this."

TRAVIS: Excellent.

TALIESIN: All right.

TRAVIS: Great news, good chat. Watch out for the bat thing that flew before. I don't really know where it went.

MATT: "I will keep an eye out. Let me know when you're ready to leave."

LAURA: Yeah, we'll send you a message.

MATT: "I will prepare my things."

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: "Farewell."

SAM: Bye!

LAURA: What's wrong, Caduceus?

TALIESIN: Oh, nothing, nothing.

LAURA: You were making a face like something was very wrong.

TALIESIN: I just hope we didn't get Pumat in trouble, that's all.

TRAVIS: We definitely did.

TALIESIN: I'm going to feel a little guilty for a minute.

MATT: The door opens and it allows you guys to leave the tower and go about the rest of your business in preparation for your expedited excursion to the north.

MATT: So?

SAM: To Zadash?

MARISHA: Wow, okay.

LAURA: Quickly.

MARISHA: To Zadash. Yeah?

SAM: Yeah, yeah. There's nothing else to do here.

LIAM: I lead us straight to an alleyway so I can stop drawing on the ground.

TRAVIS: It's awesome.

MARISHA: Can you do the thing, or you tapped?

LAURA: Oh man, I'm using all my spells today. Brrs-- yep. I'm going to send the message to who?

MARISHA: Zeenoth should be fine.

LAURA: Then I'm going to send a message to Zeenoth.

MATT: All righty!

LAURA: Guess what, we're traveling again! We're on our way to you now. So be prepared because we're coming through. By the way, this is Beau and the Mighty Nein.

MARISHA: Yeah!

TRAVIS: This is Beau.

LAURA: Hmm. Well.

MATT: "Curious. Well, I will make preparations for your arrival. Coming through quite a bit recently! It's nice. It's been a bit dull." That's it.

LAURA: I think Zeenoth likes you.

MARISHA: Oh, I thought-- Maybe he likes you.

LAURA: Well, I haven't really talked to him. I let him know it was you coming through.

SAM: Is there a love triangle going on?

MARISHA: Zeenoth hates me.

SAM: I don't know!

LAURA: I think maybe he likes you more than you know.

SAM: Maybe it's, like, love-hate?

MARISHA: Maybe it's love-hate, we do bring the party. I mean, it's pretty great.

MATT: All right, you find an alleyway.

LIAM: ♪ Do the double dutch, do the double dutch ♪

MATT: You all transport immediately to the basement beneath the archive of Zadash. As you make your way up, Zeenoth is there waiting with a couple of archivists as well. "Welcome again. I take it to you're not here to do any more research or are you just using us as a means of relay-- All right, fine."

LIAM: Just passing through.

MARISHA: Thanks, man! Bye!

LAURA: I high five on the way up. Yeah!

MATT: He instinctively responds and goes, "Mmm."

MARISHA: I turn around and I go: You like it.

MATT: And he just stares back.

LAURA: ♪ Traci's back! Back again! ♪ (laughter)

MATT: At this point, you guys are--

TRAVIS: You have no hair. It's all tied.

MARISHA: Yeah, it's all slicked back.

MATT: You guys are pretty on the level when it comes to authority within the overall Cobalt Soul. So whereas previously he was very much your senior, now you're on an even playing field, and with that his demeanor has shifted slightly.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: But nevertheless, the city of Zadash is yours. At this point in time, it is evening. What would you like to do here in Zadash?

LAURA: Ooh, we get to see the kitty cats again!

LIAM: We do not get to see the kitty cats tonight. I have used my greatest to get us to Molly's not-burial site.

LAURA: That's totally fine.

LIAM: So we're going to have to stay in an inn.

TRAVIS: Oh god, roughing it! I hate it, never go back.

MARISHA: The mirror can wait.

TALIESIN: Let's enjoy a warm place to sleep while we can. It's going to be a while.

LIAM: Do you want to see?

SAM: ♪ It's going to be a while ♪

SAM: We can go to the inn where they're staying.

LIAM: Hub and son?

SAM: Yeah, which I'm looking up what it's called right now.

LIAM: It's the Best Western, I think. Best Western Zadash.

MARISHA: ♪ Where did you put them? ♪

SAM: ♪ I don't remember. ♪

LAURA: Oh, you don't remember where you sent your family?

SAM: They went to The Bottle and Cork, The Rusty Rudder, The Crass Sailor, they went to--

TRAVIS: The Rusty Trombone.

MARISHA: Are you just making up tavern names? They're pretty good. Leaky Tap? No, that's--

SAM: Those are two bars in Rehoboth Beach.

MARISHA: Like this-- wasn't it the fancy one in the Spire?

SAM: I can't even find my page that says Zadash on it.

MARISHA: I think they're at the fancy one, huh?

TRAVIS: Pillow Trove?

LAURA: Pillow Trove.

MARISHA: No, it wasn't that fancy.

LIAM: This is what I chose Keen Mind for. Where did we stay, Matt?

MATT: 30 days.

LIAM: 30 days? Didn't we just leave them here a few days ago?

MATT: You did, you did.

SAM: It was not the Pillow Tro-- It might've been the Pillow Trove.

MATT: Pillow Trove is more expensive place.

MARISHA: I feel like it was a place where the hipsters would stay.

SAM: Song and Supper?

MARISHA: No.

LIAM: Fuddruckers.

MARISHA: Didn't have a "son" in the name.

TRAVIS: Love Fuddruckers. It had altered beasts.

SAM: Gilded Willows. Nope.

MARISHA: Where did we leave your family? Oh no!

MATT: It could've been the Lodge of the Eclipse. I don't remember which place you sent them at.

SAM: Chastity's Nook. Nope.

MARISHA: Wait, wait, wait! (laughter) No, no.

SAM: Steam's Respite.

MARISHA: Nope, that's a bath house.

SAM: Pillow Trove! Nope.

LIAM: This is great.

LAURA: It wasn't the Pillow Trove? I think you sent them to the Pillow Trove.

SAM: King's Hail Board!

LAURA: Because you sent them to the fancy one, right?

TRAVIS: Send a message.

SAM: Lodge of the Eclipse! Lodge of the Eclipse! It was the dinner theater.

MATT: Lodge of the Eclipse, that's right. All right.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: That it was. Okay. All right, so you go ahead and make your way to the Lodge of the Eclipse.

SAM: But first we visit all the other places.

MATT: Yeah, you just go on a full tour in the evening. No, when you--

LAURA: Where did we park?!

MARISHA: Yeah!

MATT: When you left them at the Lodge of the Eclipse, it was like middayish at the time, not too busy. As you approach, you can already hear the music loudly in the streets here in Zadash. And as you-- not too far off. As you enter the interior, you can see it is loud, it is crowded, and there is a stage with a magnificent burlesque show being performed at the moment.

SAM: Luc. (laughter) Tassles.

MARISHA: This is the best!

MATT: And within a short time of being within the interior of the lodge, I would say, Beauregard and Caduceus, you both see, throughout the crowd, a small person dodging and weaving between people. And within a quick moment of glancing over, you can see it is Yeza--

MARISHA: Oh, it's Yeza?

MATT: Yeah, who is currently nervously searching through the crowd.

MARISHA: Uh oh. I just reach out and grab him by the collar.

MATT: "(surprised yelp)"

MARISHA: It's just me, it's me, it's me.

MATT: "Oh, you're back! Okay!"

MARISHA: Sorry, I didn't mean to be so aggressive. Are you looking for your kid?

MATT: "Shh, yes, don't tell Veth. It'll be just a second."

MARISHA: I think I know where he is. I start heading behind the stage. I go and start peeking behind curtains backstage.

MATT: Okay, make an investigation check.

MARISHA: All right. All right, it's okay, 23?

MATT: Within a short time, you find Luc wrapped in a curtain currently peeking behind the stage.

MARISHA: Yeah, exactly where I thought.

MATT: So as soon as you-- you know where he is, you haven't disturbed him yet.

MARISHA: I just go up and I put my head in the fold next to him. Look over at him.

MATT: "(startled noise)" He runs off.

MARISHA: I grab him real quick.

MATT: Yeah, it's easy enough for you to grab him.

MARISHA: And I drag them back over to dad.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Found him.

MATT: "Great. Oh, hi, everyone! I didn't know it was this kind of an establishment!" He's trying to yell over the music and the chatter and then laughing and cheering.

SAM: Have you enjoyed the show?

MATT: "Sure."

MARISHA: So with Luc.

SAM: Oh, yeah?

MARISHA: Oh yeah.

MATT: "No, he's been good!" He's holding his hand over his eyes.

LAURA: There's nothing wrong with it, it's fine.

MATT: "It's, he's just a little young."

LAURA: Sure. (laughter)

MATT: "Anyway, we're going to get back to our room. Are you are you staying with us tonight?"

SAM: Yeah, I think so. We should get a few more rooms, yeah, and then we'll we'll shack up.

MARISHA: How much longer is the show going on? Is it just starting or just finishing?

MATT: "I don't know." (laughter) "Come on, Luc," then he goes ahead and escorts him back up the stairs to the second floor of the inn. Yeah, you're not sure when it started, but the the energy is still carrying and it's a pretty decent show.

MARISHA: I'll stay for the show.

MATT: You got it. So anybody else staying for the show?

LIAM: No, I'm going to go do a ton of homework with some spells.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I'm going to go go back upstairs, yeah.

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Go to sleep, maybe?

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm!

MATT: Okay, so you're getting a couple more rooms, two, three more rooms?

TALIESIN: Yeah, fit like three more rooms.

MATT: Three more rooms, all right. For this establishment, then I'll put you at 100, sorry, one and a half gold.

TALIESIN: I got it.

MATT: For the evening. But the show, the show is fun. I mean, this isn't the Pillow Trove by any means, but it is nicer than some of the other establishments here within Zadash. The central chamber of it is very much like a mess hall of a dining hall and then the stage towards the back of it is a little ramshackle with the area of space behind it, but the curtains are nice and some of the newer accoutrement in the inner space. There are some musicians off to the side playing mostly brass- and wood-based instruments, playing mostly brass- and wood-based instruments, and it gives us the body feel with some hand beat drums going, (drum rhythm). You see performances across the gender spectrum, beautiful colors and feathers, you see the equivalent of what would be a bubble dance, a classic style performance. It is tasteful artistic and just enough of a tease from set to set to keep the audience enthralled, but also right on the edge of getting a little overheated or overzealous. But you have another 40 or so minutes of the performance before it comes to a close and you feel very satisfied.

MARISHA: I toss some silver pieces in the meantime. I wouldn't admit that I'm like... trying to ping them off people, but--

MATT: You going to bounce a quarter off that ass?

MARISHA: Maybe, maybe. I'm not trying for it, but I'm trying for it.

MATT: Fair enough.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Well, you succeed, you have very good aim at throwing things.

MARISHA: I do. (laughter)

LIAM: All those ball bearings.

MATT: Yeah, well, except for ball bearings, maybe. All right, so anything else you'd like to accomplish before the evening comes to a close?

LIAM: What time-ish did we arrive at this establishment?

MATT: Um, by the time you were-- By the time you had finished all your work in Rexxentrum and met with Vess, it was towards the evening. And so you got to the establishment, it's about 9:30 in the evening.

LIAM: Okay, could I go till 1:30 in the morning without suffering exhaustion?

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: Who's-- who's-- How many rooms do we have, who's rooming with you?

MATT: Four rooms total including the Brenatto family.

LAURA: Okay. So I'm assuming I'm rooming with Yasha and Beau again?

MATT: That's up to you.

SAM: We could do two people per room. If you'd like.

ASHLEY: We could do a... a ladies sleep over.

LAURA: Were you staying down for the show as well or did you come upstairs?

ASHLEY: I came upstairs, but I was thinking about it, but I'm little sleepy.

LAURA: Yeah. Okay, then--

TALIESIN: You used to be fun.

MARISHA: We're old.

LAURA: Yasha--

ASHLEY: Yeah?

LAURA: How are you?

ASHLEY: (sighs) I'm doing pretty good.

LAURA: Yeah?

ASHLEY: Yeah, I feel-- I feel... a lot better than I have in a while.

LAURA: That's good.

ASHLEY: But I mean, the current events are kind of weird.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: So--

LAURA: You know, we didn't get to say goodbye to him. I mean, nobody got to say goodbye to him, but--

ASHLEY: I know.

LAURA: It's weird to know he's up and moving and we can't say anything, we can't talk to him.

ASHLEY: It's also weird to me that he... he didn't take his coat, but I guess... I mean, that's not him.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: And I guess that says it's not him more than anything because he never took that off.

LAURA: He loved that coat.

ASHLEY: He loved that coat. This is going to be weird.

LAURA: I'm glad you're-- I'm glad you're feeling better, though.

ASHLEY: Thank you. (sighs) Yeah, it's been quite a journey, but yeah, I'm feeling better.

LAURA: So, um... there's two beds in here.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LAURA: So, um... how should we do this?

ASHLEY: Well, I'm very comfortable sleeping on the floor. I'm used to it, so I can I can sleep on the floor. No big deal.

LAURA: Are you sure you don't want to take one bed, and... I could take another bed and then... Beau could just... take a bed, just somebody's bed, maybe just a little shnuggle?

ASHLEY: Are you implying that she should get in the bed, uh, with me?

LAURA and ASHLEY: (laugh)

ASHLEY: Um...

LAURA: That's weird, I could move rooms.

ASHLEY: No, really, honestly, I can sleep on the floor and Beau can take the bed. I think, um... my voice is cracking just talking about that. Yes, I'll sleep on the floor and Beau can have the bed.

LAURA: Okay.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: If you got cold though, you could probably shneak in and shnuggle with her too, though.

ASHLEY: Probably-- yeah, I don't think I will, but I could probably "shnuggle" with her if I wanted to. Maybe-- I don't know, I would have to ask her and see if that would be something that-- if she would want to sn-- "shnuggle."

MATT: (laughs)

ASHLEY: (overwhelmed sigh)

LIAM: Oop.

ASHLEY: I... She makes me really nervous.

LAURA: Yeah, you don't get nervous very easily, it seems. So that says something if you get flustered around her.

ASHLEY: Yeah, she kind of, um-- she's taken me by surprise. I-- I-- I don't know, I don't know what it all means, but um--

LAURA: She's a wonderful person.

ASHLEY: She's wonderful.

SAM: (quiet skeptical grunt) She is. I-- I know she's tough on the outside, but--

LAURA: She's all warm and gooey on the inside.

ASHLEY: Yeah, she is.

LAURA: Just like Yasha, just like you, you're just a couple of marshmallows.

ASHLEY: (laughs) I'm like a charred one.

LAURA: I'm getting nervous for you. Maybe I should leave the room.

ASHLEY: No, no.

LAURA: I'm going to leave the room.

ASHLEY: Wait, I-- but I feel like I-- I feel like-- I feel like I'm not ready.

LAURA: Okay, I'll stay in the room.

ASHLEY: (sputtering) Shit, I don't know what to do. (laughter) Because, you know, what if-- I haven't even talked to her or anything about it because I don't know-- I--

LAURA: So wait, okay you really didn't kiss her or anything when you were flying around and stuff?

ASHLEY: No, no, I didn't. I didn't because, um... You know, I don't know how she feels and I feel like I--

LAURA: Well, oh, yeah yeah yeah, oh, maybe I shouldn't tell you.

ASHLEY: What do you mean?

LAURA: Well, like, you know, I talked to her and she's like, you know. She likes you.

ASHLEY: Oh, I don't know if I should know this because it's not from her, you know?

LAURA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: It's like, what if she just said something and then you misinterpreted it?

LAURA: No, I didn't.

ASHLEY: How do you know?

LAURA: Because she was like, "Yasha's pretty great, she's hot, but I need her to make the first move."

ASHLEY: She did?

LAURA: Yeah, she said that.

SAM: (laughs)

ASHLEY: (groans) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I know, I know. I just-- she-- she-- she-- she makes me so nervous. And I don't know why, like, she makes me sweaty and, like, warm and fuzzy at the same time, and then I see her do things and then I'm just like, I want to-- I want to kiss her so bad. And then that makes me feel kind of bad.

LAURA: Yasha. You can't feel guilty for how you feel. If she makes you feel happy, that's a wonderful thing, that's so rare.

ASHLEY: It is so rare. Okay, how about this then.

LAURA: Okay.

ASHLEY: (sighs) I feel like you've given me a lot of confidence, but... stay with us tonight so it's not super obvious, because I feel like if she walks in and I'll be like, "Hello." I'll feel weird. Because now that we've talked about it, it feels like it's out there and I feel like I want to... Yeah, just stay tonight, I'll sleep on the floor and then I'll figure it out.

LAURA: Okay.

ASHLEY: (sighs)

LAURA: Okay.

ASHLEY: Don't say anything to her.

LAURA: I'm not going to say anything, I'm not going to say-- I probably, trust me, I-- I won't say anything.

ASHLEY: Because the thing is, like, she could just have like a simple crush and could be over it really quickly. So I just, I want to give her space--

LAURA: It's not the vibe I got, just letting you know.

ASHLEY: It's not-- okay, okay.

LAURA: But, maybe you should talk to her, because she'd probably have more information for you.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I think it's probably best to go to the source.

LAURA: Yeah, probably.

ASHLEY: Okay, thank you, Jester. (sighs)

LAURA: You're welcome. If you want we could write a poem for her or something, just-- you know.

ASHLEY: I mean, sure.

LAURA: Something you could recite to her when you're confessing your feelings.

ASHLEY: Okay, like how would you-- spitballing, how would you even start something like that?

LAURA: Um... "Oh, Beau, Beau, Beau" is probably how it starts.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I like that start. "Oh, Beau, Beau, Beau."

LIAM: That's a good anime.

ASHLEY: "Eyes so blue and hair so shorn on the sides."

LAURA: Yeah, that's good, that's good.

ASHLEY: Okay. Eyes so blue, hair shorn.

LAURA: "Abs, so many."

ASHLEY: Her abs are so-- There's so many of them.

LAURA: So many.

ASHLEY: "So many abs--"

LAURA: "But frame so small."

ASHLEY: Frame so small. Yeah, she's so small.

LAURA: (gasps) Ooh, ooh, I got a good one. "How I wish to envelop you with my wings."

ASHLEY: Oh! Okay. "How I wish to envelop you with my wings."

LAURA: You're a really good writer.

ASHLEY: I really think this is really good. Like, maybe we should just end up making a poetry book with love poems.

LAURA: And then we could sell it at Chastity's Nook.

ASHLEY: I love it. Okay, these are some good ideas, I'm going to think on it and really--

LAURA: All right. I'm going to pretend to be asleep when she comes in, so if you guys want to have a conversation or anything, and then if anything happens, then I'll just leave. That's weird. I'm just going to lay down.

ASHLEY: Just sleep. I probably won't do it tonight.

LAURA: Yeah, that would be weird.

ASHLEY: I'll find a really nice moment for it.

LAURA: Okay.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah.

LAURA: I'm rooting for you, Yasha.

ASHLEY: Okay, thank you.

LAURA: Okay.

LAURA and ASHLEY: (exhale)

ASHLEY: Okay, I'm going to leave it at that for now.

TRAVIS: I want a drink so bad right now.

MATT: All righty. Any other business anyone would like to work towards this evening before it comes to an end?

LIAM: "The properties of transmutation can--"

(laughter)

LIAM: Oh, this is exciting.

TALIESIN: There once was a sailor named Fjord, who went shopping and was always quite bored.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: I'll workshop, I'll workshop.

SAM: Henry Crabtree says-- (laughter) "Always ask consent before you shnuggle!" (laughter)

TRAVIS: Friends? Friends? Oh god, loneliness!

MARISHA: Wait, is Henry Crabtree going to be the consent grass?

SAM: Grass.

MARISHA: Crabgrass, yeah.

SAM: Henry Crabgrass, the Consent Grass.

MARISHA: The non-grabass crabgrass. Yeah. (laughter)

SAM: I like it.

TALIESIN: I saw it coming, and yet it still hurt.

MATT: All right, you all eventually find your ways to your respective chambers for the night.

MARISHA: I stumble in a little tipsy, accidentally trip over Yasha a little.

ASHLEY: Hello!

MARISHA: Sorry, sorry. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Oh, you just got back?

MARISHA: I did not mean to step on you.

ASHLEY: No, no, no, no, no, no no.

MARISHA: You want the bed? I can sleep on the floor if you want the bed.

ASHLEY: I'm so accustomed to it.

MARISHA: I am, too.

ASHLEY: It's what I'm used to.

MARISHA: It's what we did in the monastery so if you want me to sleep and you can take the bed, it's not a big deal.

ASHLEY: I feel like-- I've already been napping down here waiting for you to come back. Not-- I wasn't waiting. I was just laying here. Pretty sure--

MARISHA: Is Jester asleep?

LAURA: (very fake snoring)

ASHLEY: I think--

MARISHA: I don't think she's asleep.

ASHLEY: I don't think she's asleep. But you can have the bed because I'm set up nice here on the floor.

MARISHA: Okay.

ASHLEY: Yeah. How was the show?

MARISHA: It was great. Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yeah, they were--

MARISHA: There was this one girl who, like, she just opened this jar of glitter and then she full front flip with the open jar of glitter, ass glitter. like, flew through the air. It was bananas, it was great.

ASHLEY: I see you have a piece.

MARISHA: Glitter was everywhere, yeah. (chuckles) Yeah, yeah.

ASHLEY: It adds-- it's cool. Well, I'm pretty... tired.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, I didn't mean to wake you up.

ASHLEY: No, no, no, you didn't, I just I wanted to make sure that you got back safely, so I'm glad you are safe.

MARISHA: Yeah. Sure you don't want the bed?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: Okay.

ASHLEY: I'm good.

MARISHA: I'm just going to--

ASHLEY: Unless you want to shnuggle or something?

MARISHA and ASHLEY: (laughs)

ASHLEY: I'm kidding. That was just something that--

MARISHA: Okay, yeah. I'm going to-- sorry to step over you. Just a little. It's a tight hotel room. Okay, good night.

ASHLEY: Good night. I'm going to... sleep on the-- right here.

MATT: Mmkay.

MARISHA: Good night, Jester.

LAURA: (strained) Night, guys. (laughter)

MATT: All right.

ASHLEY: Seven charisma. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Assume they all take a point of exhaustion because none of them sleep. Just lie there.

MARISHA: Stiff as a board, just drenching our sheets in sweat, yeah. (laughter)

MATT: Okay then.

LAURA: Oh my god.

MATT: After an evening of rest for most of you, the morning does come and with it a new day. So the family is awake. You wake up with Yeza, and Luc's already ready for breakfast and you can smell the meals being prepared for the mess hall-like like breakfast experience that the lodge presents to the various denizens, but the day is yours. After breakfast is had you all gather down within the lodge's main chambers. What would you like to do?

SAM: We should visit Pumat, get our stuff, excuse my family, and then get up and get going, right?

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Are they going to go back to--?

LIAM: Caleb got up super early and spent two more hours doing homework.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Going to send them back to Nicodranas?

SAM: I think so. I mean, unless they-- Yeza, do you want to stay here? Oh! Yeza!

MATT: "Yeah?"

SAM: I've been meaning to ask you.

MATT: "Sure, honey, what do you need?"

SAM: I Disguise Self and turn into Vess DeRogna. Do you know this person?

MATT: "Ah. Yeah. Why?"

SAM: What did she to to you? Is she good or bad?

MATT: "She was the one that was overseeing the project the Assembly put me under. She's the one that set up the--"

SAM: I'll drop the disguise.

MATT: You can see the sweat pouring on his face already and comes forward and goes--

SAM: Sorry, I didn't realize--

MATT: "No, no, no, I just wasn't expecting that so early. Yeah, she was the one that was overseeing the work I was doing in Felderwin in the basement."

SAM: To refine that stuff?

MATT: "Yeah, that weird glowing thing."

SAM: The juice?

MATT: "We worked to distill that strange ether that it was presenting. I didn't fully understand the logistics of it, I was just applying my alchemical knowledge to the things that she brought along. But she's very, very intense, very intense woman."

LAURA: What did she do to you?

LIAM: Yeah, you're having a visceral reaction.

MATT: "She's just very domineering.

MARISHA: She hurt you?

MATT: "No, no, no, no, she never hurt me.

SAM: Did she threaten to hurt you?

MATT: (nervous noises) "She would-- there were--"

SAM: Did she imply that she would do things?

MATT: "There were-- She is a very--" He, looking around, "She's very forceful and persuasive individual."

SAM: Oh, well, I'll fucking kill her. I mean, when we're done with our job, can I kill her?

MARISHA: I think that's part of a super big, large, larger picture thing that involves Caleb and that big picture stuff.

TRAVIS: She's dead. We'll kill her.

MARISHA: We'll kill her, is what I'm saying.

MATT: "She's-- She's really powerful and she's really well-connected with the Assembly. Please don't do anything that will put yourself in danger. This isn't just a random person that was a problem and don't just go killing people because they were mean. I mean, like, she was a terrible boss, yeah. I'm glad I don't work with her anymore, but, like--"

SAM: Were you enslaved to her or did she ask you for your expertise and contract you?

MATT: "More that, but they had specific goals they wanted to hit on a continuously tightening timeline and it was challenging work and I have my limitations, you know that, but that wasn't--"

LIAM: Did you see her or her colleagues hurt others?

MATT: "Not to my knowledge. I just know about them, I know who they are, I know how connected they are and I wanted to help as best I can, when asked upon, when called upon."

LAURA: What happened in the chair? The chair, Yeza.

TRAVIS: We saw your workshop. There was--

MATT: "Oh yeah, I had a chair."

TRAVIS: No, the, the chair.

MATT: "You're right, I had a singular chair."

MARISHA: Yeah, singular, surrounded by nothing else in the center of the room, it was very disconcerting.

TRAVIS: How many souls were put through that chair?

MATT: "I-I don't know. How-- how many?"

SAM: Please don't psychologically torture my husband.

(laughter)

SAM: So the chair was just a chair, right?

MATT: "Yes, it was just my work chair."

SAM: Did you bring it or did they give it to you?

MATT: "Well, I mean--"

TRAVIS: (laughs) You fucking--

MATT: "It was an acquisition as part of what I required to begin to do the work on the level and scale they needed."

SAM: So they gave it to you?

MATT: "They did."

MARISHA: I think the corruption runs deeper than we even thought.

SAM: Good to know, we'll table that. And you worked also with Ludinus Da'leth, is that right?

MATT: "I didn't work too much with him directly. He did come by on occasion to check up and interact and ask questions. It seemed like he was putting a lot of pressure on Ms. DeRogna, and--"

SAM: He was putting pressure on her?

MATT: "Things roll downhill."

MARISHA: We saw them arguing that one day that we rolled into Felderwin.

LAURA: I remember.

MARISHA: It was a long time ago.

MATT: "But-- I mean, it's weird point of pride to take, but me and her did manage to complete what was asked of us within the truncated timeline. Took a lot out of me, I didn't sleep a lot, but we got it done, as all important discoveries sometimes require, and weirdly, I was looking forward to taking a break from alchemy for a while. And while the circumstances were not what I wanted, when the Dynasty took me for a while, I didn't have to do much work."

LAURA: Do we know what kind of breakthrough they had? Did we already figure it--?

MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: They got a little vial of some fate juice.

LAURA: Okay, you guys made the potions?

MATT: "Yes, yes, you're able to do it. I don't fully understand it. I was only given but a portion of the equation, the alchemical side of things, to focus on and replicate the interior patterns, the mandala-type, strange alchemical structures that it could potentially siphon when placed within that tripod. And so we utilized that as a means of trying to draw, distill, and copy the materials that it was emanating, and channel it through various catalysts and see if we could find a material that could encapsulate it. I'm not sure if it's permanent, I don't know if there's a time period in which must be utilized before it begins to lose its potency, but that was not part of my contract. And if they were to come back on that, I was at that point already being dragged over into Xhorhas, so."

LIAM: We were in possession of it for a time.

MATT: "Oh, so you're you're aware of this, then?"

LIAM: Ja, but we entrusted it to a friend.

MATT: "Understood. If you do encounter any of these individuals, just be careful and don't mention me."

SAM: Don't mention you, all right.

MATT: "Don't mention me."

SAM: And definitely kill her in revenge.

MATT: "I would really-- honey, please."

SAM: If I did though you wouldn't be upset.

MATT: "Well, look, she's not a great person, but she hasn't done anything to me, I think, to deserve death."

SAM: Okay, you're a fair person.

MATT: "Anyway."

SAM: Thank you. Sorry. Sorry to make you relive that trauma, I didn't realize she was so awful to you.

MATT: "It's okay, it's over now."

SAM: Yeah, yeah. Anyway, we might be going on another leg of our journey. I know it's only been a couple days here in Zadash but would you like to rather go back home to the coast? Well, I guess that's home now, right? Or would you rather stay here without us, or?

MATT: He looks over to Luc and Luc is in the middle of stuffing the remnants of this bowl of sugared porridge into his mouth which you can see, more sugar has been put into it at this point then porridge and it has that grain, scraping sound when he gets into it and crunches it like sand between his teeth.

LAURA: He's doing it right.

MATT: "Luc, do you want to stay here or you want to go back Nicodranas?" He goes, "I want to go to the beach!" "Well, I guess that answers that question."

SAM: Okay.

MATT: "To be fair, it's really nice there."

SAM: Yeah, it's the best.

LAURA: It is.

LIAM: You have a home.

SAM: Yeah. All right, well, we'll figure out a way to send you back probably today.

MATT: "Okay, how long do you think you guys will be gone?"

SAM: I don't know, it's hard to say.

TALIESIN: Very hard to say.

TRAVIS: Perhaps a couple of weeks, maybe.

LIAM: Weeks, that's our minimum.

MARISHA: At least.

MATT: "Okay, you did say you're able to come and visit quickly now, right?"

SAM: Yeah, if we're at a place where it's safe to transport.

SAM: Yeah, if we're at a place where it's safe to transport.

LIAM: Yes, I believe we will be able to visit you for the initial leg of our journey. There might be some time where that becomes complicated.

MATT: "Okay. Well, you'll know where to find us, just take care and be safe,"

SAM: Always.

MATT: "Don't take any unnecessary risks, don't try and kill any members of the Cerberus Assembly."

LIAM: Good advice.

MATT: "And where are you going?"

SAM: The North Pole, right? Pretty far north where it's very, very--

MARISHA: Eiselcross, to the island of Foren.

MATT: "I know pretty much nothing about that, but I hope it's not too dangerous and if you just happen to see--" and he leans in a little bit, whispering, "If you happen to see like, fun little knickknacks of the area that you can pick up for Luc when you're out and about?"

SAM: Of course, yeah, yeah.

MATT: "I think he'll really appreciate that."

SAM: Yeah, of course we'll get airport gifts on the way back, yeah.

TALIESIN: You've got the--

MARISHA: Yeah, the stein.

SAM: Oh, that's right! That's right. I already got these two steins. Yeah.

MATT: Luc looks over and goes-- scrapes it over. It's half the size of his torso, almost. He has to get both his hands up to press on the top to get the lid to open. He's like, "Cool!" All the porridge just caked around his mouth. He's like, (as Yeza) "I don't know how long he'll appreciate that, but I've seen him get obsessed with things with less utility, so anything to distract him from the crossbow."

SAM: Well, he should do his practices, his drills and stuff.

MATT: "I'll do my best."

SAM: So that he can protect you.

MATT: "And remember not to fire unless Daddy's behind you." (laughter) Kind of nods. (as Luc) "I know, I know." (as Yeza) "All right."

SAM: I don't know if we're ready to send you back quite yet so we might have to--

LIAM: Yeah, we're going to go pick up an item here and then we would jump to Nicodranas and then we would jump to Rexxentrum. We just need to parse that out. Why don't we swing by for you in a couple of hours? We're going to do a little bit of last minute shopping here in town.

MATT: "All right, we'll finish breakfast here. We might walk around the block a bit and we'll stay nearby until you need us."

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: Do we need to go to Nicodranas or can we just send them through?

LIAM: Well, we'd be sending them into Yussa's Tower.

LAURA: We could let them know that they're coming.

LIAM: Sure, I think he would be all right with that.

SAM: To Pumat's?

LIAM: Ja.

MATT: All right.

SAM: To Pumat's.

LIAM: To Pu-mat's.

SAM: To Pu.

MATT: You guys make your way to the Pentamarket, to the exterior of Pumat's shop. The door is currently closed and it does not appear to be the same open, welcome interior presentation the shop normally does. It looks like it is intentionally closed and shut.

TRAVIS: Working very hard, I would assume, on our items?

SAM: Do we knock?

TRAVIS: Yes, of course.

LIAM: Yeah, let's start with that.

MATT: Okay. You hear some shuffling and eventually a voice goes, (as Pumat) "Uh. Hello?"

LAURA: Aw.

LIAM: Yeah, Pumat, it is the Mighty Nein. Are you all right in there?

MATT: "Right, right. Yeah, come on in."

SAM: Oh no!

MATT: You hear, (clicks, squeaks) the door opens and Pumat's standing there, big dark circles under his eyes. "Huh, well, could you give us just, like, 20 more minutes if you don't mind? We're real close."

TALIESIN: Oh yeah. Again, I'm so sorry, that entirely happened by accident. We just had the wrong conversation in front of the wrong people. And, oh god--

MATT: "Oh, don't apologize. I had no idea that this was under Assembly-specific intent. Next time if the contract falls under an Assembly member, please do not hesitate to let me know. There is a different spectrum of timelines under there, and would save me a lot of trouble."

TALIESIN: Definitely apologize for that. I'll pay attention to that next time. This is definitely on me. Good to know.

MATT: "Greatly appreciated. All right, just 20 minutes, come on back."

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: Closes the door again.

SAM: Ooh.

TALIESIN: Oh, man.

ASHLEY: Well, that's good to know.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it's great.

ASHLEY: (sighs)

LIAM: Yeah, maybe not take advantage of that again in the future.

SAM: No. No.

MATT: About 20 minutes of wandering the Pentamarket, there are numerous baked goods, snacks, small trinkets that can be picked up. It is an open market.

LAURA: Buy a lot of stuff and just put it in my bag, so I have it for the trip.

MATT: Okay, what kind of stuff?

LAURA: Lots of baked happiness.

MATT: Baked happiness, you got it. Plenty of baked happiness purchased. We'll say, put it about five gold of baked happiness, which is a lot.

LAURA: That is a lot.

MATT: Your little haversack is definitely plump full of happiness.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: You come back. The door is now unlocked, though it is still closed. And as you enter the establishment you can see the interior lanterns are lit. Pumat Prime is sitting at the desk, he has a damp cloth pressed against his forehead and he's just wiping his brow. And the other Pumats are sitting in stools, just breathing heavily. And you see walking around the corner, Lady Vess DeRogna.

SAM: (gasps)

MATT: (as Vess) "Ah, I see you have arrived to pick up your specific object. Well, we have managed to complete it, expedited, with a bit of aid."

SAM: You helped?

MATT: I did indeed. Otherwise it would not have gotten done.

SAM: Wow!

MATT: "Present it, Pumat." He's like, "Ah, yeah, of course, sorry. Ready for you, I got your, if you don't mind there, Pumat." He's like, "Yeah, yeah, I'll be right back." And he goes the corner and comes back and sets the finished breastplate onto the table. It looks beautiful and it even feels almost slightly lighter. The sheen and shimmer is there as your initial requested coloration was presented on it. You can see there are a number of additional new runes that are just faintly pressed into certain areas where the metal plates meet to even further reinforce the magical protection that it infers. So, whereas previously it was just a--

TALIESIN: It was a nothing.

MATT: It is now a breastplate plus one.

TALIESIN: Homemade. (laughs)

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: It's now a--?

MATT: Breastplate plus one.

TALIESIN: All right.

SAM: Amazing!

TALIESIN: I really appreciate it, I really do.

MATT: (as Pumat) "Respectfully, my pleasure, happy to do whatever we can to help the interests of the Empire and the Cerberus Assembly." And Lady Vess goes, "Of course. And your hard work, as always, will be remembered. Thank you, Pumat Sol." (as Pumat) "Yeah, no, it's our pleasure. Miss Lady. And good luck wherever you're going in a hurry."

LAURA: Thank you, Pumat.

SAM: Thank you.

TALIESIN: Thank you, I owe you a favor.

MARISHA: I put down 500 more gold onto the counter for him.

MATT: "Well, you really don't have to do that. Respectfully, you've already paid for the piece and--"

MARISHA: Respectfully, we requested a rush order, not the original conditions. Please, it's our pleasure.

MATT: "Well, it's very kind of you there, Ms. Beauregard. I greatly appreciate it."

MARISHA: Hang on, hang on, hang on. Say that one more time.

MATT: "It's greatly appreciated."

MARISHA: Nope, the thing you said before that.

MATT: "Ms. Beauregard."

MARISHA: The thing you said before that?

MATT: "I don't remember."

MARISHA: Fuck!

TALIESIN: The greatly appreciated?

LAURA: It's very kind of you?

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: "Very kind! It was very kind of you, Ms. Beauregard, greatly appreciated."

TALIESIN: It was very kind of you, it's greatly appreciated.

TRAVIS: It's a big, big step for you, Beau. Perhaps you should take a nap now, Pumat.

MATT: "I think that's a good plan. If you don't mind." (as Pumat II) "I got it, don't worry." One of the clones walks over--

SAM: The rosé flask, you didn't happen to... Nevermind, no, we can go without it. It's fine.

MATT: (as Pumat Prime) "Do we have to rush the flask, too?"

SAM: No, no, that's less important, I think.

MATT: "We can get that in about an hour."

SAM: No, no, it's fine.

MATT: "If you're helping."

SAM: It's fine.

MATT: (as Vess) "What is this enchantment you're talking about?" (as Prime) "Well, they had ordered a flask that essentially is bottomless alcoholic content." (as Vess) "And this is important for our endeavors?"

SAM: I mean--

MARISHA: Yes.

SAM: It's nice.

MARISHA: Yes.

SAM: But we don't, you know-

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

SAM: I don't want Pumat to do any more work. No Pumat work, no.

TRAVIS: Well, we just dropped five hund-o.

MARISHA: 16.

MATT: Lady Vess goes, "They say it's important."

SAM: Oh god.

MATT: He goes, "All righty. Yeah, just let them out, and lock behind and give us about an hour or so. We can knock this out."

SAM: I don't need it. We don't need it. I'm canceling the order.

MATT: "You've already paid it. It's..."

SAM: I'll get it-- I'll get it on lay away. I'll get it-- I'll come back in a month. It's fine.

MATT: "You sure?"

SAM: I'm positive. I don't want you to do any more work.

MATT: "Okay, then. Well, we'll continue this one on its usual schedule. It should be ready within the next day or two."

SAM: Great.

MATT: "So just swing on by."

SAM: Thank you.

MATT: "All righty." And as you guys all begin to leave you hear a "(relieved sigh)" behind you as you leave. Lady Vess begins to exit with you as well.

MARISHA: As we leave, I slip Nott back her original flask that I've now been holding onto since it's passed through so many hands. It's still whiskey, I know that's not what you're into, but maybe it'll keep you warm.

SAM: Thank you.

MARISHA: All right.

SAM: That was very kind of you.

MARISHA: Yeah, well--

TRAVIS: More than twice in one day.

MARISHA: Kindest person in the realm. Beauregard, let it be heard!

TRAVIS: Not that at all, nope. Not even close, no.

MARISHA: All right.

MATT: (as Vess) "Well then, how soon do you think you'll be ready to leave?"

TALIESIN: Pick up the stuff in Rexxentrum and then we're ready to go.

SAM: We should stop off in Rexxentrum one more time.

TALIESIN: And then we'll leave from there.

MATT: "Very well. I will meet you then." And (whooshes) she vanishes.

TRAVIS: I feel like she could have taken us with her. Little wasteful, but cool. (laughter)

LAURA: Okay. Let's do it, let's go--

LIAM: We're going to go send your family on their way?

SAM: Send them home. By circle?

LIAM: Yeah, we will send them to Yussa. I really think we should prepare Yussa for that, though.

LAURA: Yeah, I'm going to send a message to, not Yussa, but to his butler.

LIAM: Butler?

SAM: Wormwood, no. What's his name?

MATT: It's Wensforth.

LAURA: Wensforth. Yes.

SAM: Wensforth?

MATT: Wensforth.

SAM: Wensforth.

LAURA: Hey. So, we're not coming through, but Nott's-- Veth's husband and son are. So be ready for them to come. Really appreciate the help. Bye!

MATT: Moment before the voice comes back, goes, (as Wensforth) "Hello. All right, I'll go ahead and prepare for their coming. I'll make sure the master doesn't see. And I'll escort them into the streets."

LAURA: Nice.

SAM: That would be nice.

LAURA: Wensforth's going to take care of it.

SAM: I fucking hate that guy, but sure, yeah, let's do it. (laughter)

LIAM: Well, I'll go up to my-- we're at the inn where the show happened for Beauregard, right? So I'll just run up to my room, still, which is pretty early.

LAURA: Just for Beauregard.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Just for me. Only for me.

LIAM: And get it all ready and fetch everyone once it's 95% complete. And then we'll send them on their way. You want to say goodbye?

SAM: Yes. You're going to be seeing a goblin when you land on the other side.

MATT: (as Yeza) "Oh, okay."

SAM: He's not going to try to kidnap you or ransom you or anything like that. He's one of the good ones.

MATT: "Well, there were a few in Rosohna that weren't so bad."

SAM: Yeah. So, just don't be scared.

MATT: "I think we've seen worse, right, Luc?" And Luc just goes, (gun cocking sound). (as Yeza) "No! Friends." (as Luc) "Okay."

SAM: We'll see you in a few weeks. We'll send messages. If you hear someone weird talking to you in your ear-

LAURA: It's me!

SAM: It's Jester.

MATT: "Okay, I'll look out for that." Luc walks up and tugs on the front of your shirt and is like, "Mommy, if you're going to kill more cool things, just make sure you write them down so you can tell them when you come back."

SAM: Okay, okay. Yeah, and maybe Jester can draw a picture of it.

LAURA: I'll draw a picture of everything that we kill.

MATT: (as Luc) "That'd be so cool!"

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: "Okay!"

SAM: Yeah, we'll do it, promise.

MATT: "Okay."

SAM: All right, be good.

LIAM: I will kneel down and before I finish, I'll hold up the chalk and say, try not to worry too much about her. You know each of us on our own, we're pretty confident in our own right but the nine of us together, I give a little bump to Luc's chest, are mighty. See you soon. (chalk sounds, whoosh)

MATT: They stand there for a second going, "Whoa," looking at the circle.

LAURA: Go, go, go, go, go!

SAM: See you soon.

MATT: (as Yeza) "Oh, oh! See you!" (boof) Luc goes, "That's so cool!" (boof) Gone. Moments of the runes (hums) (powering down) and all the chalk drawings that Caleb had left all began to burn off like incense ash. (rustling hiss) Leaving the floor clean, as if the symbol was never behind.

SAM: Whelp, we forge off to another adventure.

MARISHA: You all right?

SAM: Yeah! No, this is a cool arrangement. Get to check in with them and check in with you and it feels good.

LIAM: Yeah, I don't think anything more than a couple of weeks will go by at the most. Help the Empire, change the world, see your family.

MARISHA: Help the Empire.

SAM: It's a good balance.

MARISHA: Wow.

TALIESIN: That's a phrase.

MARISHA: Yeah, it is.

LIAM: Well. I need to draw another one of these, correct? We're going to Rexxentrum?

LAURA: Yes.

MARISHA: To the capital.

LIAM: Okay. Spend the next 10 minutes drawing the different circle.

MATT: All right. With that circle complete, you all rush through and return once more to the archive beneath Rexxentrum's Cobalt Soul.

LAURA: Oops. (laughter) As soon as we pop through.

MARISHA: Oh shit!

MATT: Bit of a spook on arrival, but not a huge issue.

MARISHA: We did it again!

MATT: (laughs) It's a brief upset, but it seems to wash over without major issue. But you have returned to the center of the city. Is there anything else you wish to accomplish before you leave?

SAM: Pick up clothes.

MATT: You can pick up all your clothes. You go and one by one, gather all of your various custom, requested pieces of northern attire. To your specifications, with the money that you dropped on these, the tips that you had given, nary a piece is not immaculate. And directly to the specifications required. Beautiful, in some cases rustic, in some cases, fucking goth as shit. (laughter) You acquire your gear, you put upon the various elements of your clothing that you've acquired, and make your way towards the tower where Vess DeRogna awaits your arrival. There you can see herself is wearing a deep, deep green, almost black colored robe with heavy brown and white fur edges and a hood that is up with a fur edge as well that droops down past the shoulders. You can see the clasp itself is jewel emblazoned with a heavy chain between. Beneath the robe you can see thick elements of padded cloth. Everything meant to keep her warm in the direction that you are all going. Thick leather gloves upon her hands. And as you enter the tower itself, the temperature inside is cold. You can see that since she's wearing the attire, she's already adjusted the temperature to be comfortable within her home. And as you all make your way within she looks about to the rest of you. "Well? Are you ready?"

LIAM: Guess we'd better button up.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: "Very well." She begins to do the same similar hand motions that you saw her do in Zadash. And you watch how she traces these symbols through, the cold weather suddenly rushes, even chillier. And with a brief moment of you all feeling your air almost pulled from your lungs for a second, the warm dark interior shifts to a bright, almost snow blind sky. You can see a white and gray atmosphere above you. A gentle snowfall. Just drifting around you as your feet crunch on soft snow beneath your feet. As you glance around, you can see to the left of you, rolling hills and fields of glittering diamonds. A few miles off on that side. And to the right of you, you can see on the horizon, the cold, distant blue of ocean waters. And a cliff-side shoreline. There, built along this low cliff, this northern boundary of the Crystalsands Tundra, you can see the small fishing village of maybe a hundred or more scattered snow covered structures and four wooden watchtowers, mostly surrounded by a 10 foot vertical log barrier. This is Palebank Village. The northernmost part of civilization here on the main continent of Wildemount. And your destination to acquire passage northward to the frozen continent of Eiselcross. That's where we're going to take a break.

TRAVIS: Oh, yeah.

SAM: Getting real.

TRAVIS: Time to crack this map back out.

SAM: Here we go. Here we go.

TRAVIS: ♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪

LIAM: New biome, who dis?

LAURA: Oh my gosh.

MATT: So--

LIAM: Eiselcross...

MATT: -- we shall return here in just a moment, once we get through our break. See you all in a few minutes and we'll pick it up then.

Break
V.O.: Now, experience the ultimate (dramatic music) way to play, by sitting at a table with your friends, with your face in a screen. Progress! D&D Beyond. Log in to explore (dramatic music) strange worlds and fantastical cities, thanks to a company, based in a really boring one, that handles all the tedious math and reference stuff for you, so you can finally unleash the epic quest you've been crafting since middle school on your friends, or just do what most people use it for, cranking out endless new characters while they're bored at work. I could finish (rock music) these spreadsheets, but what if this paladin owned a horse? (heroic music) Perfect. D&D Beyond. Play with advantage.

MATT: There are key facets, we've noticed, to a proper Narrative Telephone, that involve elements of alliteration. Were carting the cadaver of a cleric of Corellon, named Christophe Kazmar. Conversations and character changes. Who are you, Großmutter? And, what are you doing in these woods? I am these woods, Kind. Proper nouns. I took a big swig of mycothistle extract. Changes to locations with extremely detailed descriptions of the environment. And, from there, you have to go four days north. On dusk on the fourth day, you will come across a grove of trees. Backtracking through the narrative. That's a big one. I almost forgot to tell you the recipe! Well, you can figure it out. Ta-ta for now. And now, a change of character. But, first, oh, shit! Hey, get away from there, you little weasel, dingle bat, piece of shit! Oh, hi. Like, there's so many things that we learned through this, guys. We have evolved. ♪ There once was a-- ♪ ♪ There once was-- ♪ (laughing) To create, truly, something horrifying. I'm proud of all of us. (laughing) I haven't evolved here, guys. No, I've been left behind. (laughing) I stayed true! (mysterious music) (popping)

BRIAN: A lotta people are wanting to know your feelings on this, Marisha, since we haven't had you on a Talks episode in months, and I like to make them, it's about a big event that happened, since we were on hiatus, but I like to make them wait. Sometimes, we'll put a real banger question at the end. It's like the news. You know when the news will kinda tease you and say, coming up, at the, you know, they don't tell you it's gonna be in the last 10 seconds of the episode. They're finally gonna show you the six-eyed walrus, the baby walrus that rescued the group of Bolivian, the soccer team that fell into the well, you know, when they were, they went on the sightseeing trip and then you're like, show me the goddamn baby walrus rescuing the kids. I don't give a shit about that treadmill recall, even though I have two of them. (laughing) That's what this question is, Marisha. Why do you have two treadmills? With you, 100%. And, why haven't you sent them back after recall? I have one on the ceiling over here, I can't move my camera, I have one on the ceiling and I have one down here. So-- Just so you can, like, do you do the backwards walk with the hands? It's all about circulation? No, no, no, I'm not concerned with upper body strength. I need my thighs to be made of vibranium. We've noticed. And, I care about nothing else in the world. But, anyways. (laughing) Marisha. So, what was your question? Yeah. Yeah. We don't have time. We ran out of time. (laughing)

MATT: (dramatic music) (wind blowing) (pages rustling) Let me tell you a story. A story about a group of nerdy-ass voice actors who decided to roll the dice and play a tabletop RPG together. As they triumphantly battled dragons, aberrations and even gods, little did they know just how far their stories would reach, for this game would grow into so much more. And so, the nerdy-ass voice actors vowed to spread the joy of their stories to all who reign--

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay. (record scratching) Matt, mind if I take it from here? Oh, sure. Thanks, buddy. So, our home game started just like any other, but once the show began to take off and we received so much support from the community, we knew we wanted to pay it forward and use our platform to raise money for charity. Early on, we partnered with 826LA, because we felt like supporting creative writing and children fit with our love of storytelling. And, we've helped raise money for a number of other charities with causes close to our hearts, such as... Red Nose Day. OutRight International. OSD. And, Pablove. Just to name a few. Over these past few years, Critical Role and the critter community has raised over $600,000 for charitable organizations. (laughing) These endeavors made us realize that our mission, not just as a company, (crashing) but as a group of friends, is to leave-- Leave this world better than we found it. (laughs) Thanks, Taliesin. And thus, we're proud to bring you (heroic music) the Critical Role Foundation, a nonprofit organization that's dedicated to that mission. Furthering our charitable efforts and building a deeper relationship with nonprofit organizations has been a dream of ours for a while. And now, that dream has come true. This allows us to run specific fundraising campaigns for causes we and the critter community care about. And, given the state of the world these days, a percentage of every dollar raised will be allocated into an emergency fund to allow CRF to donate funds in the event of a natural disaster or other unforeseen events that require immediate humanitarian assistance. (bell ringing) And, since Critical Role Foundation is incorporated as a 501(c)(3) nonprofit, your donation is 100% tax deductible in the United States. Travis, read the room! It's a storybook, not a tax return. The cast and company are working hand-in-hand with this foundation, with Ashley here as its president. Thank you, Madam President. (applause) (laughing) For those who have donated in the past and for those who donate in the future, we thank you, from the bottom of our hearts. You can learn more and donate at criticalrolefoundation.org. And thus, begins a whole new chapter for this group of nerdy-ass voice actors. The end. Well, not literally, of course, but that's the end of this storybook announcement.

LAURA (VO): (cheerful music) Hey, critters! Laura Bailey here. (upbeat music) Let's see what's up in the Critical Role shop. (coins falling) It's perfect for the home or the office or your bathroom. (chimes ringing) It's so cute, I can't handle it. (thumping) You're only, like, five clicks away from owning this. Maybe more, if you have a lot of windows open on your browser, I don't know your life. (ravens croaking) Ooh, look at this. Look at the details, ooh. (didgeridoo) This is a lot of stuff, you guys. We have, like, so many cool things right now. Darling, I recommend buying two. One for you and another for you. Let's be honest. (clicking) All this and more, now available in the Critical Role shop!

TALIESIN: (book slamming) (dramatic music) Like a symphony playing to an empty theater, Critical Role dines alone without its audience. Yes, that validating and most enthusiastic congregation on the other side of the fourth wall. And, what is this fourth wall, separating the viewer from the creator? A portal to an often-sought point of connection or the Twitch Subscription Zone? On the rare occasion that you miss the live bacchanal, boasted by the ragtag group of thespians on Thursday night, you may always view the show on demand, in the shadowland known as the Twitch Subscription Zone. Picture, if you will, the necessary pieces to complete a jigsaw puzzle, but it's up to you to choose how it will be solved. You could, of course, subscribe with your debt rectangle, but many more divergent paths lie before you. Perhaps, you've found yourself in possession of an Amazon Prime account, you would then wake up to discover a free Twitch subscription each month, for a channel of your choosing. But, this artifact demands renewal, for you must resubscribe each month to quench its unyielding thirst. One need not walk alone. Those who have already found their way can illuminate the path for others, via the Gift a Sub button on Twitch. Critical Role is humbled by your subscription and wishes to thank you from behind the thin veil of this fourth wall. We hope you enjoy our content as much as we enjoy making it. And so, ends another meandering digression, a complicated parody promo down an indistinct highway, to the region we call the Twitch Subscription Zone. (creepy music) You will subscribe. Twitch Prime, subscribe. Gift, subscribe. Subscribe.

Part II
MATT: And welcome back. So, Mighty Nein, as you stand out in the midst of this soft snow fall on the northern cusp of the Greying Wildlands, you begin to make your way towards the coastal village of Palebank Village. As Vess DeRogna leads you this direction what would you like to do?

TRAVIS: What time of day?

MATT: At this point, you guys rested for the evening, came back to Zadash, I'd say it's like, little afternoon.

SAM: Are we so far north that, like, the sun never sets or it's always dark?

MATT: Not quite that far.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: No.

TRAVIS: These are the Greying Wildlands.

LIAM: But we're heading to the village, do we see the village yet in the distance or?

MATT: You do see the village. You're not terribly far off. You're about maybe a 10 minute walk from it.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Oh, okay.

LIAM: And how big is it? It's a little place?

MATT: It's not massive. You see roughly a hundred structures total for the village. That includes small hovels and sheds amongst a couple of larger buildings look almost like moots or large lodges, if anything, but it's a very small village.

LAURA: And it's already snowy, snowy here?

MATT: It is, yes.

MARISHA: I guess we go in and look for Dagen Underthorn?

TRAVIS: Who?

MARISHA: Our expedition guide that we're supposed to find.

TRAVIS: Yup, I have that in my notes.

MATT: (as Vess) "Actually, Dagen is waiting for us at Balenpost."

TRAVIS: Balenpost.

MARISHA: Oh, sorry, my notes were wrong.

TRAVIS: Okay, I got it.

MATT: However, we are here to acquire a ship to take us to Balenpost.

LAURA: Oh, you should have Fjord talk to them, then.

MATT: "Are you a, uh... accomplished seaman?"

TRAVIS: Yes, of course. Quite a bit.

LAURA: He's a pirate captain.

MATT: "Well, then."

TRAVIS: Balenpost...

SAM: We're all quite accomplished on the high seas, actually.

TRAVIS: Oh, it's a journey, y'all.

MATT: "Very good then, very good."

LAURA: As you can tell, he's quite experienced with reading maps.

SAM and MATT: (laugh)

TRAVIS: Well, it seems like we'd have to go from the Palebank Village to Syrinlya?

MARISHA: Oh, yeah, Balenpost, okay, yeah, yeah.

MATT: "We would probably not want to stop there directly. Balenpost is the Empire-helmed and held location. Syrinlya belongs to Uthodurn, and, while doable, is not perhaps in the same sphere of influence as to make it easier for us to find what we need and make our way."

TRAVIS: I mean, it's fine with me, just seems the established trade routes according to these maps, like a touch point in between distances that are far apart. We'll have to go around the north edge of the Crystalsands Tundra?

MATT: "Indeed."

LAURA: (laughs) I'm sorry. What time should we leave in the morning, dad? Should we leave at 3:00 a.m. or 4:00 a.m. to get to our location in time?

TRAVIS: I don't know.

MARISHA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Where's Orly? It's a long... Have you done this by ship before?

MATT: "I have."

TRAVIS: Oh, so you didn't stop before, you just went straight through?

MATT: We did. Well, we stopped before, yes, but due to the... Uthodurnian neutrality, it can prove challenging, should we encounter Dynasty interests there as well."

TRAVIS: Right.

MATT: "Balenpost, the Assembly has influence there, which means it is far easier for us to acquire what is needed without issue, without impasse and to avoid unnecessary violence before we make our way northward."

LAURA: Makes sense. Nobody wants to see violence.

SAM: No. Do you have a person that you go to buy boats from, rent boats from, or just walk up, or do you have?

MATT: "It has been some time since I've been here. It is possible it is a different individual, we will find out, and we will inquire as to the best means of passage. Usually just paying for passage upon a vessel that is already making the trip."

SAM: Okay. Well, let's head to the docks, then.

MATT: "Very well." So, as you approach the nearest outer gate, the large log wall that greets you, you can see three figures in thick leathers and furs up above the top that all seem to be holding heavy crossbows and glancing over the top. Some of them have arrows nocked in longbows and one of them shouts, "Who arrives and with what business?" "Lady Vess DeRogna of the Cerberus Assembly, my business is my own, and I come with my companions." Bit of a conversation. (as guard) "Right, just don't cause any trouble! We got Glassblades all over the place. We're keeping an eye on you."

TALIESIN: Glassblades?

MATT: The doors.

TALIESIN: and ASHLEY: Glassblades?

MATT: Glassblades, you've heard before, though you may not have. That is the name of the Uthodurnian guard.

TALIESIN: Ah.

LAURA: Oh, yeah, remember?

ASHLEY: What a cool name.

MATT: As the gates slowly shift open, only but maybe three feet, they're heavy enough that they only have to open so wide to let you through. And as you push in, you're immediately greeted by these muddy streets of gray and brown slush with the snow packed off of to the sides and these heavy hills of white snow that push against the rickety, rustic wooden buildings that push against the narrow streets and alleys. You can see the dirt and sand, and a thick layer of snow that pushes into many of the untraveled paths. You can see footsteps and small walkways from between where the wall and the exterior buildings meet where individuals walk through. But the number of people that live here, the population is not so dense as to be anywhere near as continuously walked as such as Rexxentrum or Zadash, from where you previously hailed from. Most of the villagers appear to be Uthodurnian in origin. You see dwarf and elf alike, as well as a smattering of other people and of other backgrounds wandering the streets with warmer attire. You can see most everyone is armed and armored in some way. This rough and tumble location outside of any central center for civilization, especially in a place as challenging in both weather pattern and whatever else may exist in the wilds beyond these heavy walls, folks have to keep themselves protected.

MARISHA: Does this feel like a town with families or is it just an in-between spot destination almost like a fort?

MATT: Make a perception check.

LIAM: Or is it Frozen Deadwood?

MARISHA: Exactly. It feels like Frozen Deadwood. What did you say perception, or investigation?

MATT: It would be perception.

MARISHA: It's not good. 15.

MATT: 15?

MARISHA: No, 13, even worse.

MATT: Okay. Well, looking through the town as you make your way through the first couple of streets into the first what you can-- if you would call it a thoroughfare. These thin roads open into one crossroads, it's a bit wider and you can see there's a couple of poles that rise up with hooks on them, with oil lanterns hanging from them, though they are not currently lit. And as you glance about, you can see a handful of children here, with accompaniment, parental or otherwise. And you get the sense that there probably are families here but most everyone you see around you appear to be going about their business of the day pulling carts of supplies from location to location. And you get the sense, based on the proximity of the coastline, that this is most likely a heavily fishing-based village as far as the sustenance that comes here. Anything else, as far as vegetation and alternative means of sustenance would probably make its way from Uthodurn and not be grown anywhere nearby.

MARISHA: Frozen Deadwood.

TALIESIN: Anchorage.

MARISHA: Yeah, Anchorage.

TRAVIS: Are the streets cared for here or is it like, shin-high, knee-high snow?

MATT: The streets aren't cared for; there's no real cobblestone, it is just mud and dirt, with the snow becoming slush. And you can see there are pools and small puddles as you continue to push through it where your footfalls splatter and slide against the slick bottom of this walkway. You can see a lot of the snow is pushed to the sides, whether it be just through people naturally making their way through or folks come through in the morning and possibly shovel off to give it some sort of a walkway. Let's see. Actually, with your passive investigation, I'd say looking about at the various shapes on the ground and the patterns of snow, you can see it looks like the main roads are shoveled. There are grooves in both the mud and the gathering embankments of slush and snow that lead you to believe that people do care somewhat to it, at least let people pass through.

TRAVIS: Straight down to the docks?

LAURA: Let's go.

SAM: I think so.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: Okay. Passing by the buildings, they're of patchwork make. You see some structures that have architecture that resembles the slapdash, wood-on-nail presentation that a lot of Shadycreek Run had. You see some buildings that have a semblance of elvish construction, but due to a lack of materials or a lack of time, it lacks the polish and pizazz that a lot of the structures within Uthodurn carried. You can see there are a couple of small, appear to be almost tavern, or food acquisition locations within here. You see one large lodge in the center here, it looks like one of the larger buildings that you saw from a distance, this massive meeting hall-type lodge that has these gargantuan tusks or horns that adorn over the main doorway and a sign that says, Winter's Tit Lodge. (laughter) Continuing past, you go towards, what you assume at a glance, one of the Glassblades' quarters. You can see a number of Glassblade soldiers are training on the outside. There's an open area where the field has been cleared out of most snow and there are archery stations, there are practice dummies, there are racks for armor and weapons that are currently being distributed or currently worn by soldiers in training with the attire-- The Glassblades have, not a direct uniform, but they have colors and some pins and patterns to signify their presence and membership of the Glassblades, but even they, as a body of people, have a very scattered semblance of uniform. And that is labeled as the Nowhere's Quarter.

SAM: The training ground?

MATT: Yes. Continuing on the southern, southeastern side of this main street, Continuing on the southern, southeastern side of this main street, this seems, as you start to walk further in, most of this village is built around one large circle of a main road, with a series of smaller alleyways and roads that break up the center. So the entire village is a big loop around this central road, that circles around it on the interior, matching the perimeter walls in a oval-type positioning. The back end of the wall does break away. And as you continue around the southeast side and heading more towards the north, you can see where the wall comes to an end, right at the edge of the cliff. And you can see there appears to be some signs of part of a wall that has broken off. Like some sort of erosion or impact has caused an element of the wall there to have toppled off the edge of the cliff and out of sight. You can see bits of metal bent and broken at the hinge to where that attachment once was. But you do, beyond that, see the ocean. As you get closer, you see some individuals coming with their heavy furred coats with heavy nets filled with all kinds of fish. A couple of individuals come by. You see this tall, elven, lanky elven gentlemen, carrying two wooden crates in each hand and as they come by, you can see these large crustaceans within that are currently clattering and moving about within. You see where they're coming from. There is a large switchback staircase that emerges from the edge of the seaside cliff, and then heads down along its length out of sight to an area below. And as you begin to approach that you can see a modest series of docks. About maybe 50, 60 feet from the edge of this cliff to where the shore actually meets the icy waters below.

LAURA: Lead the way, Fjord.

TRAVIS: This way. (laughter)

MATT: "Very astute of you, Captain."

SAM: He knows everything about the ocean!

LAURA: He really does.

MATT: Heading down towards the docks below. You can see the winding walkway eventually comes down to this sand/snow beach. And there upon that area where they meet where a number of large rocks emerge from the surf, these heavy wooden docks press out 20, 30, some even 60 feet out into the open water. Rickety at first glance, but functional, at least enough to still be here and working. You can see about six vessels of varying size that are currently docked at the moment. A handful of icy ocean fishing vessels, looks like two reinforced cargo ships, a singular large icebreaker ship that's fitted with armaments. And you can see a dock house that sits to the western side of the docks, that two individuals right now are in the process of a conversation or argument, you can't quite tell.

TRAVIS: How many of the ships look like icebreaker ships?

MATT: There's one icebreaker ship.

TRAVIS: We want that one, right?

MATT: An icebreaker's-- to signify, the other ships are-- The cargo ships are built pretty heartily and have some similarities to the icebreaker ship in how the bow is a little wider and has pointed edges that are meant to hit and break through surface ice and thin glacial islands that they may meet here in the icy waters. The fishing vessels are not fitted that way, and you gather probably don't travel too far from this bank and just fish in the nearby waters. The icebreaker is a massive ship and the exterior of it is reinforced with iron or some sort of a heavier, darker metal. And you can see it comes to a very pronounced point that is edged outward and disappears beneath the surface of the water in front of it, meant to wedge and break any heavy ice banks that hit it while it's on its way there.

LAURA: Yeah, let's get that one, that's cool.

SAM: Fjord, you sure you can handle a big piece of equipment like that?

TRAVIS: No idea. Be fun to find out, though, won't it?

SAM: All right.

LIAM: We're a long way from Zadash.

MATT: So, Vess goes, "Well, if we are to acquire passage, I'll go ahead and speak with the dock master." She begins to make her way towards the dock house. You can wait here or you can go with.

LAURA: I'm going to make a snowman while I wait.

MATT: Okay. You have not a whole lot of time, but you work pretty quick. It would be a small snowman, but you make one nevertheless pretty easily. Before Vess returns with a rolled up piece of parchment and goes, "Very well. Since you have requested the icebreaker, it looks like we have bought passage on top of the Midnight Hammer." ALL: Ooh.

LAURA: The Midnight Hannah, that sounds fabulous.

MATT: "No, Hammer."

LIAM: Hammer.

TRAVIS: Hammer?

LAURA: The Midnight Hammer sounds even better! I'm going to put a teeny little dick on my teeny little snowman.

MATT: Heading towards the edge of the dock and onto the gangplank that puts onto the actual deck of the ship. As you begin to step, you can see one of the sailors on the ship, all heavily bundled up, this rough and tumble-looking, very dark-skinned dwarf with a deep red beard glances over beneath his cap with the fur flaps on the side, and he goes, "Hey, hey, what's your business here?" And Vess hands the materials over to him, he looks at, "Hey, Captain? Captain?" Brief time passes before stepping up to alongside you see a male elf, tall, but portly, a heavier midsection with this red and graying chinstrap beard. You're not used to seeing elves with facial hair, Half-elves usually, but elves, normally, to grow a beard this thick is impressive. But with your time you spent at Uthodurn you do know that there are elves with some hints of dwarvish blood and dwarves with elvish blood, and you can definitely see a pronounced dwarvish heritage displaying itself within this elf individual. His posture is a bit odd and off, how his shoulders slink forward and his tall self seems to sit in this S formation from a sideways angle. His hair on top is slicked back and has been wetted, and you can tell that because there are elements of ice that have gathered at certain edges where it seems to have frozen to the side of his head. He has a wooden carved pipe that rests out of one corner of his mouth, with a lazy drift of smoke. And he has these thick eyebrows that currently look furrowed as he steps forth and takes this sheet of paper and looks at it over and goes, "Ah, right. So you've bought your way here to ride on the Midnight Hammer. Is that right?"

LAURA and TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

MATT: "Okay, step on. We leave before nightfall."

SAM: Who are you?

MATT: "Me? Captain Kem Liard."

LIAM: Kem Liard?

SAM: Kem Liard.

TRAVIS: Kem Liard? And, how would you spell your name, Captain?

MATT: "K-E-M. L-I-A-R-D."

LAURA: Oh yeah, Kem Liard, obviously.

TALIESIN: I was very close.

SAM: Any rules we should know about on your ship, Captain Kem?

MATT: "Well, namely don't touch nothing that's not yours, stay away from the edges, and keeping warm is your own business. Keeping fed is your own business. Get your supplies before you leave. That's about it."

SAM: And have fun!

MATT: "That's entirely up to you."

SAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: Captain, how long is the journey to Balenpost?

MATT: "Well we're heading to--" and you see, Vess goes and points to the paper and goes, "Balenpost it is! Balenpost it is. That'll be, depending on the weather, anywhere between seven to twelve days. It's a roundabout journey, but it's better than going through the southern waters there, bit dangerous. So, get supplies, for our trip is long!"

LIAM: How big is your crew?

MATT: "Our crew is 10. Tenfold."

LIAM: 10 plus us, so that's nine of us plus Ms. DeRogna.

TRAVIS: What would you say is the most common danger encountered on the seas this far north?

MATT: "Terrible weather, thick ice sheets, mysterious fogs, water beasts."

TRAVIS: Water beasts?

LAURA: Like dragon turtles?

MATT: "Oh, I certainly hope we don't encounter one of those. I haven't seen one about these parts."

LAURA: What kind of water beasts, then?

TRAVIS: Anything that makes it's way onto your ship?

MATT: "Generally no, but we got those to take care of them," and he points over you can see there's these heavy pieces of cloth, like tarps that are thrown over three elements on the dock itself. And he glances over, you can see one of the crew members is currently underneath and checking something. And they pull it off and as they do you can see this massive ballista that is affixed to the top of the deck. One of three, it looks like. The front of it, you can see it has a unique mixture of both elven and dwarven-- it has that thickness of dwarven build, but it has elegant runes and, you can gather some sort of enchantment built into the ballista. And you can see next to the ground next to it, there is a heavy metal case that contains, even at first glance, maybe two dozen of these four-foot long metal bolts that have these jagged arrow points at the front and a blunt base at the back for the ballista to catch and thrust forward with.

LAURA: Wow.

ASHLEY: Cool.

MATT: "So if any sort of beasts come on here, we got a few here have had some experience, nothing too crazy."

TRAVIS: Well, we are at your disposal if you need anything. Some of us are quite experienced ourselves, but we will stay out of your way, Captain, unless you require us.

MATT: "Well, if you hear me shouting, come and help, just don't get in the way. Okay?"

TRAVIS: Do we need to gather food and supplies for our trip, or are you good?

TALIESIN: Do we have enough?

LAURA: I have a lot of pastries for us.

TALIESIN: Do we need to pick up any-- do we have food?

TRAVIS: You can do the thing where you--

TALIESIN: Do we have some rations, or?

MARISHA: I don't know, we're all looking at you. Do we have food? Do we have rations?

TALIESIN: We have some. If you want something tasty, I'm sure we can pick up some meat and some pickles while we're here, I imagine they sell that thing.

LAURA: Yeah, maybe pickles would be smart idea.

MATT: Yeah, even walking through, you spotted a few places that sold dried meats, fresh fish, all sorts of basic rations. You know, meal-based breads and heavy oats.

TALIESIN: Get ourselves a couple of weeks worth of goodness.

SAM: Sure.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: It's a little pricier up here because of the remoteness of it, but if you're looking to buy yourself two weeks worth of serviceable rations for each of you. Let's see here, I'd put it at about...

SAM: 15,000 gold. (laughter)

MATT: About 10 gold a piece.

LAURA: Wha?!

TALIESIN: 10 gold, for?

MATT: For two weeks worth of serviceable, modest rations.

MARISHA: Import costs are no joke.

TRAVIS: Let's do it duty free, baby.

MARISHA: Yeah (laughs).

SAM: I'll pay for you and you.

LAURA: What?

SAM: Aren't you-- don't you have nothing left?

MATT: You can take half that cost if you want to, if you just take fish.

MARISHA: Nah, nah, no.

SAM: I want to live it up.

MATT: Everything else is imported from Uthodurn to here so the prices are a lot higher.

LIAM: I also have all these boba. And I hold up a glass jar of nourishments.

MATT: It's true, you do have that.

TALIESIN: I have tea. Between the two of us, we should be fine.

MARISHA: It's like food on New Zealand.

ASHLEY: I'll get the food.

LAURA: What?

TRAVIS: Like, for everybody?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: It's 10 gold per person, Yasha.

ASHLEY: Yeah, but, I mean, I have money. What else am I going to do with it?

LAURA: Oh my gosh.

ASHLEY: We have to eat!

LAURA: You guys, everyone is so generous and wonderful and I'm just so proud of us all.

TALIESIN: I thought Beau was nice, but, like, you're really nice.

SAM: Yeah, that's nice check-in. That's nice.

TALIESIN: Beau is nice, but that's super nice.

ASHLEY: Well, it's all, it all works.

SAM: It's true.

TALIESIN: I'm kidding ya, yeah. You're nice, too.

SAM: It's true, if I had to pick the two nicest members of the Mighty Nein, it would be Yasha and Beau.

TALIESIN: Right there.

ASHLEY: I don't know if that's all true, but, I mean.

MARISHA: I think that's pretty true.

ASHLEY: Yeah?

MARISHA: That's very accurate, yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks, Caduceus, thanks.

TALIESIN: Ah, you're welcome.

LAURA: Thank you, Yasha.

SAM: Thank you, guys. Thank you, Fjord.

MARISHA: Thank you, Veth. Thank you, Caleb.

LAURA: Thank you, Caduceus.

ASHLEY: Are we doing a circle--

TALIESIN: Thank you, Jester.

ASHLEY: -- where we say what we're thankful for?

LIAM: Good night, Ma. Is that what's happening?

LIAM: Good night, Pa. Ooh, that's weird, coming from me. (laughter)

LAURA: I'm going to make lots more snowmen while we're here waiting to leave. With little dicks on all of them.

MATT: Okay, very well.

LAURA: All around town, wherever we go.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Tiny snowman, big dick. Big snowman, little dick.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: Just for variety's sake.

TALIESIN: Three, five.

MATT: You do begin to gather a small crowd of Glassblades that at first are just following out of suspicion and then eventually start just following out of amusement for all the varying artistic representations you're creating in the surrounding snow.

LAURA: Nice.

SAM: We can't get where we're going by magical means because it is somehow isolated or sealed off?

TALIESIN: That's weird.

MARISHA: I was about to ask, am I being impatient if... We figure out if we can--

TRAVIS: Icebreaker ship!

MARISHA: But it's so slow!

TRAVIS: You shut up with your magic!

LAURA: She said it's hard to bamf there. She said it's dangerous.

LIAM: Yes, the magic is screwy there.

TALIESIN: Magic is weird.

MATT: It's possible, but it's risky.

LIAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Also, icebreaker!

LIAM: Merging with a glacier.

SAM: All right, icebreaker ship. Let's go.

TALIESIN: I'm here for icebreaker.

MARISHA: Icebreaker ship, all right.

LIAM: Ice Road Truckers, let's do this!

MARISHA: Alaskan cruises.

TRAVIS: Captain Liard, we should ask who your first mate is, in case we need to just follow your chain of command.

MATT: "Oh well, that would be a Ruega."

TRAVIS: Ruega?

MATT: "Ruega Timbercall."

LIAM: Ruega Timbercall.

TRAVIS: Ruega Timbercall, and what do they look like?

MATT: "Well, let me introduce you. Ruega?" And he looks over and you see this stout, burly, fucking tough as nails dwarf woman, with tattoos all up both arms. Sleeveless in the freezing cold, except for a couple of bracers on thick furred leather vest over the front of her torso. You can see her whitish hair is pulled into this really, really, really tight bun behind and it's shaved underneath, the sides. You can see there's a bit of these gray whiskers that are gathered to the front of her chin that come down into this twisted knot that seems to be gelled or glued with some sort of substance to an icicle point beneath. And she comes up and goes, "Hi. You called for me?"

TRAVIS: Yes, we'll be passengers on your ship. We're just letting you know we'll make ourselves available to you if you need.

MATT: "Good to know. Can you tie a rope?"

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, we can.

TRAVIS: Yes, in fact, a few of us can.

MATT: "Can you clean a deck?"

TRAVIS: Almost all of us can do that.

MATT: "Good. Because I'm going to put you to work."

TRAVIS: Sounds fair. I'm sure it's a lost sentiment, but wishing you calm seas ahead.

MATT: "Calm seas indeed. (spits)" She spits and like, (crackles) and it flash freezes on the deck.

LAURA: Oh wow. It's really cold here, you guys.

LIAM: Yeah, I wrap my scarf several more times around my head. I'm like this now.

ASHLEY: I love it.

LAURA: Yeah, it's nice.

MATT: "Is that all you need, Captain?" (as Kem) "Aye-aye, don't worry. We're just getting ready to leave here in a few hours. And be nice; these folks have paid quite a handsome sum to travel with us." (as Ruega) "'Kay." And she just walks away.

LAURA: Bye, Ruega.

TRAVIS: Can I find Vess and just say: Just out of curiosity, how much did you drop on this particular voyage?

MATT: "Well, the Assembly has access to general coffers for purposes such as this, research and otherwise, interests internally. I figured a 250 gold passage fee is more than sufficient to get acquisition of the ship immediately and to shift their intended destination."

TRAVIS: Did they mention where they were headed?

MATT: "I did not ask, I did not care."

TRAVIS: Sounds very fair.

MATT: "Nevertheless, I'm going to go choose my quarters." And she makes her way below deck.

TRAVIS: Oh, right, our quarters. Do we want to choose our quarters?

LAURA: Yeah, yeah. Go choose our quarters.

TALIESIN: I'd love to put this down. Yeah.

MATT: Okay. Interesting to note, the quarters below, with the 10 or so crew here. There are bunker chambers for them. Many of which contain four, five, makeshift beds in insulated chambers below the deck. There are three of them. As far as chambers for you all, it's mainly just cargo space. (chuckles)

SAM: Oh no!

TRAVIS: Oh, fuck.

MATT: This is not a travel vessel.

TRAVIS: What does the dome do against weather?

LIAM: It's very comfortable inside the dome.

TRAVIS: So it can be freezing outside--

SAM: Wait, we have a mansion, we have a tower.

MARISHA: Yeah, can we do the mansion over these days?

LAURA: The ship is moving. Does the tower stay where it is?

SAM: No, it comes with! Right? I don't know.

LIAM: You tell me, Scan-man.

TALIESIN: How long is the frame?

SAM: From what I've read---

MARISHA: Yeah, if the frame is rooted on the ship, right?

SAM: That is a good question!

MATT: I consider it relatively anchored to the location it is placed. Meaning, if you were to cast it on a moving vessel, it would stay anchored to the vessel that is moving.

LIAM: Where I jam the wand?

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: It goes without saying that at night, the hull of this ship, in saltwater below freezing is going to be very, very cold.

SAM: But we're going to be wrapped up in cat blankets so we'll be fine.

TRAVIS: (sneezes)

MATT: As you do go below deck, it is warmer below the deck. The ship is insulated for that purpose. It's still chilly, it's not the most comfortable interior, but it is designed to keep the crew from freezing to death after many, many nights at sea.

MARISHA: Mansion, mansion, mansion!

LIAM: Well, there is the interesting hypothetical, if there is some sort of sea beast, as we were warned, and the ship goes under, and we step out of the door, a mile under the ocean, that would be bad. (laughter)

LAURA: Fjord can cast Water Breathing.

TRAVIS: Yeah, you can breathe underwater. However, I do think you'll expire in less than seven minutes.

TALIESIN: Oh, also, I can cast the thing that makes you-- you'll just shoot right up to the surface. I've got that spell.

TRAVIS: Sure, it's just you're still in the water at that point.

MARISHA: It just sounds like a challenge to me. I'm here for it.

SAM: Feel like we could survive.

MARISHA: Yeah, we could totally...

TALIESIN: I feel like there's a plan.

LAURA: We have ways to bamf both of us to Nicodranas, worst case scenario, so we're fine.

ASHLEY: Sounds like a win-win.

SAM: We're fine!

TRAVIS: We got dry suits on this bitch, right? We're fine! It's no big deal.

MARISHA: (laughs)

SAM: All right.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: Well, we'll pick some sort of quarters area to give it the appearance that we're going to be sleeping in the place.

MATT: Now, because they're not bringing any heavy cargo, there's a lot of open space beneath the deck here. So it's very, very easy for you guys to carve out a section of the hold beneath for you with plenty of room.

SAM: Cool.

MATT: And you can even bring over some cots and various other benches and make a makeshift space to sit and like have a table and a living space if you wanted so below the deck.

LAURA: Yeah, I'm going to shimmy some--

TALIESIN: Set up some coat hangers.

LAURA: -- crates around so that it like makes a little wall so we have some privacy.

MATT: Okay, fair enough.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: All right. As the night grows darker and darker, pushing itself towards the oncoming dusk, the bells begin to go off around the ship. Ding, ding. Ding, ding. Ding, ding. As that happens, the gangplank is lifted up onto the ship, the anchors are pulled up. You didn't really see any sails on this. You saw a couple of poles up there, it looked like they had what would be sails almost, but there were no actual pieces of material hanging from them. The ship (booms) lurches forward suddenly.

SAM: Ooh.

LAURA: Ooh, can we run up and see what's going on?

TALIESIN: Oh yeah.

MATT: You run up and look off to the sides and you can see water being displaced on either side of the ship. And to the back, you can see there's a heavy bit of water being kicked up.

SAM: Are we being pulled by a team of dolphins?

MATT: (laughs) Roll a perception check. If anybody would like to.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay.

TALIESIN: Natural 20.

SAM: 12 for me.

TALIESIN: 30.

ASHLEY: Oh!

MATT: All righty.

SAM: Ride, Flipper, ride!

ASHLEY: Natural 20.

TALIESIN: With my new d20.

MATT: You did hear this heavy whirring sound below the decks. This like (whirs) sound, and as you glance off to the side beneath the cold water, you can see some sort of a heavy metallic, a lengthy, spiraling platform beneath the water that's just, (whooshes) like massive propellers. Something, a clockwork construct that is pushing forward, with or without wind.

LAURA: Wow!

TRAVIS: Where is the engine, though? Can I find the captain?

MATT: Yep, the captain is currently on top and is keeping an eye out there. Has a small table next to the wheel at the back and is setting a course off to the north. And as you step up to the side he's not quite paying attention to you at the moment.

TRAVIS: I don't mean to disturb, I just noticed-

MATT: "Right, right?"

TRAVIS: Your ship has a bizarre mode of propulsion. How does it work?

MATT: "Not entirely certain myself. Gnomish make."

TRAVIS: Gnomish make?

MATT: "Aye. It was bequeathed to me by my father."

TRAVIS: Does it require more moving parts underneath the vessel, or is it magical means?

MATT: "Oh plenty, just don't go to the very, very bottom, all sorts of danger in that space."

TRAVIS: Very, very bottom of the ship?

MATT: "Aye."

TRAVIS: Like a compartment that we should entirely avoid?

MATT: "Just if the noise getting's really loud, don't go further."

TRAVIS: Right, I will make sure that everyone knows that part. Is there a door to go down there that we should know about near the bow or the stern?

MATT: "If you see a door with a sign that says Do Not Enter--"

TRAVIS: That's the one?

MATT: "Do not enter."

TRAVIS: Fair enough.

MATT: "We've lost one curious crew member there before. Real big mess."

TRAVIS: I will head down and disperse that information to everyone.

LAURA: I'll go look for the door.

SAM: Do you want us to break in and find it?

TRAVIS: I think that was--

TALIESIN: It does say do not enter.

TRAVIS: -- the exact opposite of what the Captain said.

SAM: Yeah, but I mean, come on.

TRAVIS: He did say though, someone of your size is very welcome to rummage about, play, hang things up, do whatever they feel is necessary.

SAM: We'll get to the bottom of this.

LIAM: Middle of the ocean.

TRAVIS: As we start to leave the docks, I'll head to the bow of the ship, just thinking about the last fucking time we were out on the sea and what happened. And I'll just try and clear my mind and meditate and say a silent prayer to the Wild Mother, hoping for calm seas and protection from certain eyes.

MATT: Okay. There is something very comforting about the quiet this far north. It's odd at first because there is no heavy series of waves crashing against the shore. There is no sound of sea birds cawing in the sky above. The wind is relatively still and chilled. But, the quiet is peaceful. And as you close your eyes, the last thing you're seeing is that distant blue horizon. You remember the feeling of that ocean breeze on your skin and remembering all the times when you were younger, that moment when you emerge onto an open sea and the unbridled possibility that lies before you. And that feeling comes to you in this moment as well. It's comforting. As you consolidate these memories and give this prayer out to the Wild Mother, you feel that unexpected warmth of her presence come to you. The chill leaves your body and that warmth envelops the darkness behind your closed eyelids. And visions of warm horizons meet you again, of sunrises on seas you've never seen. Islands uncharted and unvisited. Ships in struggles and ocean depths below, mysteries hidden. And yet, it feels like home. And as her presence is there, though wordlessly, you can interpret the emotions coming from the Wild Mother here. And it feels like she's saying, "Is this the freedom you seek?"

TRAVIS: Yes.

MATT: "Like the waters you live upon, and traverse, that shift and bend and exist to move around whatever blocks their path, or hold stalwart against those that would wish to defeat it. Do you wish to be like this ocean?"

TRAVIS: I can't... I can't think of a greater way to spend the rest of my days.

MATT: "Do you trust the skies above? The portents of nature? That I may try best to warn and keep you safe on these journeys?"

TRAVIS: Yes.

MATT: "And do you swear to follow this inspiration to seek out the mysteries hidden beneath the waves and beyond that eternal horizon?"

TRAVIS: Fuck yes! (laughs)

MATT: "Then your path is clear." So you take your Oath of the Open Sea.

SAM: Oh! What? What's that?

TRAVIS: Dope. Dope, dope, dope, dope.

MATT: And that is your chosen Paladin Path.

MARISHA: (chuckles)

ASHLEY: Awesome!

MARISHA: That was so cool!

TRAVIS: That's in here?

MATT: It should be.

ASHLEY: Oath of the Open Sea?

SAM: What does that do?

ASHLEY: That's awesome!

LIAM: ♪ Yo ho, yo ho ♪

MATT: So. The ship has set off. And the still waters, it's... Of all the times you've spent on the ocean, there's something weirdly eerie and peaceful about seeing just a still expanse of deep blue around you. For the first day of travel, what would you like to do, if anything at all?

LIAM: I'll find four hours to kill the last of a bit of homework for a spell that I've been carrying around.

MATT: Okay. Easy enough to do on this journey.

SAM: I feel like you should send a message to the dragon turtle. And just be like, "Hey, we're in the ocean. Come fucking find us."

MATT: (chuckles)

LAURA: That could be pretty awesome.

SAM: There's no way he's going to get up here that fast.

LAURA: I mean, I don't know how fast they travel.

SAM: Or not, it's fine.

LAURA: I'm going to wait and I'm going to do that before bed. Just because I won't be able to keep myself from doing that.

SAM: There's no way it can't get up here! It'll take weeks, months for him to get up here.

ASHLEY: Should we--

TRAVIS: No, not really.

ASHLEY: Should we check in on Molly at some point?

LAURA: I want to. I was going to Scry, if that's okay?

MATT: Sure, if you'd like.

LAURA: I'd like to try to Scry on Molly again.

MATT: Okay. So you find some of your space beneath the hull, in one of the private corners where nobody's really paying attention.

LAURA: Behind a couple crates, you know.

MATT: As you focus, your vision is pulled once more into the gray sky above. Carried through the expanse of white before you. Before your vision clarifies on the familiar, leather and fur-wrapped figure, currently sitting, in some sort of the mouth of a cavern. With a fire lit and is sitting, just staring into the flames, back against the stone wall on the inside of this little alcove, just kind of (chewing) chewing on some sort of dried jerky.

LAURA: What's his posture like? Is it very different from Molly's?

MATT: Make an insight check.

LAURA: 15.

MATT: 15. It definitely seems more pensive and balled up. You know, you recall Molly was very out and open. This is much more huddled and contemplative.

LAURA: I'm going to talk to the Traveler. He seems different, doesn't he?

MATT: "From what I've seen and remember, yes, he does. You know, death does change a person."

LAURA: Yeah. I wonder if any of Molly's left in there.

MATT: "Who's to say? But, I mean, I can't say I'm not curious, either."

LAURA: I know, I really want to find out.

MATT: "What's the best way to find out?"

LAURA: I mean, we could just send him a message, or we just track him down, and I guess talk to him in person.

MATT: "The choice is yours. Either way, I'll be watching."

LAURA: Can I see any of his other compatriots around him?

MATT: Make a perception check.

LAURA: 15.

MATT: 15. Unfortunately, no. The focus of the scry is very localized to him and because of the proximity of the fire, you can see brightness to one side with the flicker of the flames and the rest beyond that is just shadow.

LAURA: Okay. All right. I guess we can head back.

MATT: Okay. Anybody else want to accomplish anything or do we go ahead and move on to--

TALIESIN: I'd like to run Commune really quickly.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: Go out to the front of the ship. Set up a little space.

TRAVIS: Tag! (laughter)

TALIESIN: Yeah. My turn.

MATT: All right. You see one of the other crew hands is just eyeing you oddly as you set up this small personal space, but doesn't engage, just like--

TALIESIN: I turn my eyes completely white.

MATT: Goes back to his work. (laughter)

TRAVIS: I think that'll do it.

TALIESIN: Is Cree heading to the same destination we are?

MATT: As you close your eyes, the cold breeze becomes not just like a gentle warmth, but like a hot coastal day. And any semblance of chill in the air is absent for a number of seconds.

TALIESIN: Is he ahead of us?

MATT: The warmth remains, but the breeze picks up, this time from behind you pushing forward, leading you to believe that, perhaps, the subject of this question is also ahead.

TALIESIN: Does Vess know more about the Tomb Takers than they let on?

MATT: The breeze becomes chilled once more,

MATT: The breeze becomes chilled once more, the space around you uncertain and non-committal.

TALIESIN: That'll do. All right. Thank you.

MATT: And as you finish your communion, you marvel as the snow that is gathered upon the deck, just that gentle snowfall that's begun to slightly drift down as the afternoon turns closer into evening for about a 10-foot radius around you, it is completely melted.

TALIESIN: Yeah. Yeah, that's nice. All right. Put on my hat. Go back.

MATT: All right. So for the first day's travel, who wants to roll a d10?

SAM: Oh!

TRAVIS: I do.

SAM: You're the captain.

TRAVIS: Well, not this time. Eight.

MATT: Eight. Okay.

SAM: What does that do?

LAURA: I don't know.

MATT: Right as the sun begins to set, you hear a voice from the front of the deck of the ship go, "Captain."

SAM: Oh no.

MATT: "Sighted below. Wreckage below."

SAM: Wreckage?

MATT: Another bell begins to ring, just a singular one from the front. Some of the crew begins to shuffle forward and you guys all begin to hear this and scatter up. You can now see, whereas the open ocean that has met you this far into the journey has now become clustered patches of ice sheet, an ice shelf. Broken little islands and jagged clefts of frozen water that the ship is beginning to now push through and break through. And it's been doing this for about 30 or so minutes, and you can feel each impact grind through the ship with a faint vibration. But at this point, as you glance over, you can see as it's pushed through this one section of the frozen open water, there appears to be elements of wrecked ship that is pressed into one of these icy islands and floating bits of frost-covered, shattered wood in the waters around you. The captain glances over to the side and goes, "Right, right. Salvaging team, let's go ahead and gather. See if there's any supplies or any survivors. Don't know how long it's been, as well as an investigation to see how much time has passed, since this had occurred. Any volunteers?"

TRAVIS: Yes, I'll go.

ASHLEY: I'll go.

MATT: "Two volunteers for the mission. Anyone else?"

LAURA: I'll go.

SAM: Yeah, I mean, fuck yeah, let's do this.

TALIESIN: I mean, if everybody else is going.

LAURA: You're going to go?

SAM: Oh, in there? Oh, I'll just watch from the side. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Fuck yeah, let's-- I'm sorry, I misunderstood. (laughter)

MATT: All right.

LIAM: What's DeRogna doing? She's hanging back?

MATT: DeRogna's hanging back.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: She's staying for the most part on her own. She's, in a not so unexpected way, her personal quarters looks like it was a storage region of this ship, but whenever she emerges, the interior of the storage chamber looks like a beautiful, much larger lush room. (laughter) Almost familiar.

SAM: Are there cats all over it?

LIAM: She's not worried about the boat going under. (laughter)

MATT: At least not during the day. So you guys, what do you want to do to prepare to go and check into this salvage?

LAURA: Are we going to jump into the water and, like--

MATT: What are you going to do? It's up to you guys.

LIAM: How far off is the wreckage from the side of icebreaker?

ASHLEY: Are we close enough to jump on from--

TRAVIS: I guess we could ask Ruega Timbercall. Are we going to lower rope ladders? Are we making our way off the ship?

MATT: "Planning to get a bit closer, then we can drop some ladders, but it's still mostly open icy sea, so--"

TRAVIS: What's the thickness of the ice around these parts this time of year?

MATT: She glances it over with their one, like squinky Popeye-like eye. "Hard to see in this sort of light. Have assistance since it's close to nightfall itself. But I'd say the sheets of ice can be anywhere between 20, 30 feet deep."

TRAVIS: Oh.

MATT: "If not more."

TRAVIS: Better to send someone lighter to test it. Veth, are you open to go first and check the ice?

SAM: The ice? I'll go to ice. Sure.

TRAVIS: It's frozen water.

SAM: Well, I mean, it's different. Like, steam is also water.

TRAVIS: I wanted to be clear, knowing that you have a thing with water.

SAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I'm fine with steam. I'm fine with other forms of water, just not the liquid form.

ASHLEY: Would you like me to hold your hand at the bottom of the ladder? So in case it breaks or--

SAM: Yes, sure.

ASHLEY: You know, for safety?

SAM: Yes, please.

ASHLEY: I'm sure you can hold on to the ladder, which is fine. Okay.

SAM: Please, hold my hand. Are you just going to lower me onto the ice? Is that--

TRAVIS: We're all going to go.

SAM: Oh, okay.

MATT: So we'll say for the purposes of this, you all decide, it's going to be a group investigation check, but you all decide what your particular focus is as part of this investigation/salvage venture towards the wreckage of the ship.

LAURA: I'm going to--

SAM: So it's frozen in the ice or it's under the ice?

MATT: You can see elements of a ship that looks like it crashed into and partially beached itself onto the ice. But then elements of it had broken away and sunken beneath the water. And you can see elements of shattered and floating wood that has since frosted over and adhered to the side of the ice. You only see maybe half of a ship here. The rest of it may have been pulled into the ocean below.

TRAVIS: Once we get down there, unless there are any objections, Caleb, Jester and Beau, if you'd like to investigate, I'd like Yasha to join me on security because we're on ice. I don't know what else lives out here or might be preying on things that cause vibrations on this ice shelf. And Caduceus, if you wouldn't mind keeping your keen ear?

TALIESIN: Oh, of course.

TRAVIS: We might be able to work most quickly that way.

LAURA: Sure.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: I can do that. Do you want to go under the ice or you want to stay in the half the ship that's above water?

TRAVIS: Don't think we want to go under the ice ever.

MARISHA: Yeah, feels real bad. Yeah. All right.

TALIESIN: Does anybody want Water Walk? I can do that.

LAURA: I think we're fine on the ice right now.

TRAVIS: Famous last words, but sure.

TALIESIN: That just means you can't go under water if you want to.

LAURA: Oh.

TRAVIS: You know what? We're out on the ocean. Underwater Breathing. Everybody wins a prize!

ALL: Hey!

MATT: All right.

LAURA: I'm going to cast--

TRAVIS: 4:20 every day.

LAURA: -- Enhance Ability, Fox's Cunning on Beau to give her advantage on investigation.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: What? Advantage? What?

LAURA: You get advantage on investigation checks.

MATT: Intelligence checks in general.

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: All righty. So who all is actually going down to investigate? Fjord and Yasha and Caduceus, you're staying to keep watch?

TALIESIN: We're going to be--

LAURA: Security detail?

TRAVIS: Might come down there as well.

MATT: Okay. Got you. All right. So--

TRAVIS: You don't want to come?

SAM: I'll come if we're not going in the water. Yeah, I'm in.

MATT: Okay. So--

MARISHA: Also me with the recent buff.

MATT: Fair enough. So there is no rope ladder that leads below. It is a chain and iron ladder. There are just these two sets of chains with heavy metallic bits, but each of the rungs themselves are wrapped in leather so you don't have to like touch frozen metal as you make your way down. One by one, you climb down onto the ice shelf and it is slick and stopping by the edge where it is, it's crashing into the ship, it's pretty precarious to stay on the ice. Some of you do slip in a bit and fall into the water. I'd say anyone with a dex under 13 who is making their way down ends up (splash) into the icy water, immediately chilling you, but the rest help you up and onto the ice. So whoever is engaging the investigation, go ahead and roll an investigation check for me, please.

LAURA: Guidance.

LIAM: Engaging?

MARISHA: You said one, two, three? All right.

LAURA: And you get advantage.

MARISHA: I get advantage.

TRAVIS: You're perception, if that's cool.

TALIESIN: I'm perception.

MATT: Hold off on perception. We'll get to that in a second.

LAURA: (laughs)

MARISHA: Okay.

SAM: What'd you get there, Jessie?

LAURA: Four! Did I find anything?

MATT: No.

SAM: 23.

MATT: 23.

LIAM: 19.

MATT: 19.

MARISHA: 27.

SAM: Hey!

MATT: All right. So. because less people were involved, the DC was higher, but you all rolled pretty damn well, so that balanced it out. You discover amongst the wreckage there five frozen corpses.

SAM: Ooh.

MATT: Bodies that were frozen before they were able to bloat at sea. It looks like none of them died from any wounds. It looks like they all died from exposure and the temperature at sea. Some are floating in the water and their bodies are actually frozen against the wreckage. Very much like Jack on the door in--

TRAVIS: I'll never let go, Rose.

MATT: Yep.

TRAVIS: I can fit on the fucking square!

MATT: And there's two of them that actually were on the ice and there it looks like they were trying to make a fire that they couldn't get to work and they just froze to death on the top there. Looking at their equipment on them, it's basic equipment, but two of them appear to wear symbology that leads you to believe that either are or were, at some point, Righteous Brand soldiers. So this looks to be an Empire excursion or at least members of the Empire who were on this ship.

MARISHA: Interesting.

MATT: You also find numerous thick pelts that are frozen together, but, when thawed, could probably be serviceable and sellable for would be worth about 65 gold pieces altogether. So collection of pelts.

TRAVIS: I'll take one of those.

MATT: And perception checks, please, from both of you guys.

TRAVIS: Oh, yeah.

MATT: Yasha as well.

SAM: Big rolls, Yasha.

TALIESIN: 27.

ASHLEY: Ooh.

MATT: 27.

TRAVIS: 18.

ASHLEY: 24.

ALL: Ooh!

MATT: Perception?

ASHLEY: My perception's pretty high, but I also rolled really high.

MATT: Holy shit.

TRAVIS: All right.

SAM: Best roll of the campaign.

ASHLEY: Yeah, right?

MATT: What you guys find, while they're going through the wreckage, floating a little ways off in the water, it looks like it's a small box, that's just like drifting in the water.

MARISHA: Floating a little ways off.

ASHLEY: You see that?

TALIESIN: Huh. I'm going to use--

MATT: It's about 25, 30 feet from the edge of the ice where you are.

TALIESIN: I'm going to use Control Water--

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: -- to bring right up towards us.

MATT: You watch as from the somewhat shifting water from the presence of the ship, a bit of it seems to rise up like a pseudopod wave. It begins to roll and rush this box as it lifts it to the front and brings it right towards Caduceus and as it's about to crash upward, it dissipates, and the box gently lands right in your grasp.

ASHLEY: Wow. That was cool.

TALIESIN: Detect magic.

MATT: You sense a faint magic essence within the box.

LAURA and ASHLEY: Ooh.

TALIESIN: It could be a trap. So we'll wait.

ASHLEY: Okay,

TRAVIS: I'm sure it's fine.

ASHLEY: Open it.

LAURA: Why don't you just have Veth look at it?

TALIESIN: Are you back already or?

SAM: I don't know.

MATT: We'll say about 30 minutes or so of investigating this entire circumstance, you feel pretty confident that you found what you can find that is salvageable within the wreckage. You do all suffer a point of exhaustion from being out here for this long in the cold, unprotected--

TRAVIS: Is it because we're also wet?

LAURA: What if I'm cold resistant?

TRAVIS: Or just outside, in general?

MATT: You would actually be the only one who does not suffer because you have cold resistance. You do not take a point of exhaustion.

SAM: Do you need me to disarm this thing for you?

TALIESIN: Yeah, just double check to make sure it's safe.

SAM: All right. I will, with my Mage Hand--

TALIESIN: Backing up.

SAM: -- check it for traps.

MATT: Okay. Go for it. Roll investigation.

SAM: 23.

MATT: 23. It is not trapped, but it is locked.

SAM: I will try to unlock it.

TRAVIS: 23.

MATT: Thieves' tools plus dex.

SAM: 35.

ALL: (exclaiming)

SAM: It was a natural 20.

TALIESIN: Unlock my heart on that one.

TRAVIS: Holy shit.

MATT: You've seen some people do lock picks. It's a process of two hands at once with a tool jimmying it around and trying to find the right tumblers to click and shift in it. It's a process. You just watch the Mage's Hand go (click) like it's just a one movement. If a semi-transparent conjured arcane hand without personality could give a shrug, it did. But the box just opens up.

LAURA: What is it?

MARISHA: Nice.

LAURA: What's in it?

MATT: Looking inside, you see a small wooden scroll case of some kind.

LAURA: It's a scroll case.

SAM: Magic man?

LIAM: Is this trapped, the case itself?

SAM: No.

LIAM: Come on now.

SAM: All right. All right. I'll look at it. 23.

MATT: It is not trapped nor is it locked.

LAURA: Open it up. Open it up.

MATT: It's a fairly thick piece of parchment. It's a singular scroll. It has a very strong-- some of the runes give you a sense of an abjuration-based enchantment, but you have to either spend some time with it or an Identify spell to figure out specifically what it does.

MARISHA: Is that high quality paper or just basic bitch paper?

LIAM: It is a miracle that it is dry. That it has survived floating at sea like this. Yeah, high quality. Well, let's get back on the ship.

MATT: Okay. As you guys get back up onto the ship, the crew goes, "Hey, welcome back. Welcome back. So did you find anything?" The captain's like, What'd you manage to salvage?"

LAURA: "This collection of frozen pelts!"

MATT: "All right, that's money. Put it in the butt." And some of the people take it and take it down below deck.

LAURA: Except Fjord took one of them.

MATT: Right, so you have one pelt that's worth 15 gold.

TRAVIS: I'm going to fix that over my shoulder.

MATT: There you go.

TRAVIS: Make it a thing.

TALIESIN: Did we bring back any of the dead people or did we not bring back any of them?

SAM: Oh, we didn't.

LAURA: We've found these five dead people! (laughter)

MATT: They look at them.

TALIESIN: We could talk to them later, find out what happened, just in case it's something.

MATT: They all look at each other. You watch as Ruega goes like, "I can probably gather what happened to them." And she goes and kicks one overboard. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Decompose.

MATT: One by one, the bodies are put back (splashing) into the water. The ship picks up once more. The ice channel does slow the progression and add a day to the journey. These rolls and the different events that can happen can add days, take days away and other events can happen.

TRAVIS: And the point of exhaustion wasn't just because we got wet, when we fell down the ladder, it's just being outside in this--

MATT: Just being out there, exerting yourself in this proximity of freezing water, freezing air, that kind of a deal.

TRAVIS: How long were we out there about before the point of exhaustion hit, ish?

MATT: I'd say--

TRAVIS: Few hours?

MATT: No, but close to an hour.

MARISHA: Oh, fuck you guys.

TALIESIN: Weird. Other weird question. Is this the sort of thing Protection from Energy would help with?

MATT: If it's-- if you choose cold, yes.

TALIESIN: Cool. Good to know.

TRAVIS: Protection from Energy?

TALIESIN: I can-- I have a spell that I can cast that will just make me-- give me resistance to one type of damage for an hour.

TRAVIS: Cool.

TALIESIN: Or anybody else for that matter.

MATT: So if it makes you feel better, it's less like a ticking, you take exhaustion every hour. It's not that cold. It's just, exertion in an inhospitable environment like this It's just, exertion in an inhospitable environment like this would give you a point of exhaustion for the day or for this specific endeavor of activity in an unprotected space.

TRAVIS: Good clarification.

LIAM: If you drink hot mulled wine on the deck of the ship and just sort of huddle together and relax, you'll be fine.

MATT: Then you're fine.

LIAM: But if we go--

MATT: Like, if you're on the ship-- but spending a period of time off the ship, would be considered traversing.

TRAVIS: On a glacier out in Antarctica.

MATT: Yeah. Yeah. An unhappy terrain. And for extended periods of time, that would bleed into, you know, constitution checks and all sorts of things, depending on the environment you're in. But for the purposes of this, it was just one endeavor, one specific task. And you managed to only suffer one point of exhaustion because of it.

LAURA: (shivering sound)

MATT: So anyway, you're back on the ship. You've traveled the day, but you've also gained a day of travel. We move on to the second day. So if you'd like to roll again.

TRAVIS: Oh, yeah.

SAM: d10, d10.

TRAVIS: Anybody else want to roll or is it just me?

TALIESIN: Captain.

ASHLEY: Captain.

SAM: Cap.

TRAVIS: Nine.

MATT: All right.

SAM: Suspicious.

MATT: The next morning comes to you and you find heavy sea smoke, or what's called ice fog, begins to coat over the ocean ahead of you, making visibility very challenging for the day. You can hear the captain cursing and occasionally the ship, (scraping) hits and grinds against some piece of heavy ice flow that was unseen before impacting with the front of the icebreaker. Thankfully, it's an ice breaker so it seems to be able to handle these things. Other ships might have not fared as well, but the heavy clouds and such does add a day to the journey.

SAM: Jeez, we're not making a lot of progress.

MATT: You're not. It's slow going at this point, but it's also some really unlucky rolls.

TRAVIS: Are we seeing--

MARISHA: Unlucky rolls?

TRAVIS: During the crawling through the ice, are we seeing anything out on the ice shelves? Any sort of animals or activity? Life, anything?

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: Seven.

MATT: Seven. Unfortunately, this particular day with this heavy ice fog, you're not able to see anything out there. Most of the sheets of ice that you can see, you notice after they've impacted or they're right below the ship. You can just barely see the surface of the water for about 10 feet out from the base of the boat and beyond that, it's just white fog.

TRAVIS: Just out of curiosity, because we're crawling, at fifth level, I'll cast Create or Destroy Water.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: And that allows me to make a 50-foot cube of rain, which cancels out fog.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: Freezing rain. So it should clear like a 50-foot cube out to one side.

MATT: For how long?

TRAVIS: It's instantaneous, so not very long. Just to see what's out there.

MATT: To see what's out there.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Because I hate Stephen King novels.

MATT: Fair enough. As you concentrate and put your hand out in front of you, you watch as this pattering sound begins to hit the water ahead, as this freezing rain aims to cut through this fog. And as you see, the water below begins to open up in this 50-foot area in front of the ship. And it is just numerous, small pieces of broken ice flow. And you do see, for a split second, two darker colored seals that dart beneath the icy water out of your visual range as soon as your ship begins to approach where they were resting. So there is life out here.

TRAVIS: Okay.

TALIESIN: Dire seals. (laughter)

LIAM: (seal barking)

TRAVIS: They're going (barks) (hissing). (laughter)

LAURA: I'm going to, um--

MATT: Elephant seals look nasty.

TRAVIS: Fuck, fuck. Get back!

MARISHA: Put it back.

MATT: What's up, Jester?

LAURA: I'm going to take out the Rod of Hand Warming. And then I'm going to get my pastries that I bought. I'm going to put them on the rod and warm them up and pass out some pastries. (laughter)

MATT: That is a proper use of magical items. Yes.

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: Yes.

TRAVIS: It's just a stick of uranium. (laughter)

TRAVIS: We are all going to die.

MATT: This tastes great. Why are my teeth falling out?

TALIESIN: Take a point of exhaustion every year.

MATT: Yep.

(laughter)

MATT: All righty.

LIAM: If we're jumping day by day, I would have checked out what that scroll was.

MATT: All right. So with that-- and you can go and add this to your collection there. It is a scroll of protection, specifically for aberrations.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: You can look up in D&D Beyond specifically what that does. Just put scroll of protection, aberrations.

LIAM: Okay. And I will use six hours on the previous day, and if this day is about to go up, another six hours to do studying, to absorb another spell.

MATT: You got it. All right.

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: I'll sit down next to Caleb while he's poring over his books and I'm going to sketch for, like, 30 minutes, before I get bored.

LIAM: What are you drawing?

LAURA: I'm drawing a hot cup of cocoa.

LIAM: Are there dicks in it?

LAURA: No, there's two very lovely marshmallows.

LIAM: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: That are just cozying up, shnuggling up next to each other.

LIAM: Yeah.

SAM: With consent.

LAURA: With consent.

LIAM: But we're not talking about grass, are we?

LAURA: No, I'm talking about marshmallows.

LIAM: Marshmallows.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Okay. Felt like that was a hidden meaning for a moment.

LAURA: No.

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: Just marshmallows.

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: Marshmallows with wings. Marshmallows with staffs. Marshmallows.

MARISHA: There it is.

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: I see.

MATT: All right. Third day at sea. Go ahead and roll a d10 for me.

SAM: Come on, Fjord.

ASHLEY: Marshmallows.

MARISHA: With wings and staffs.

TRAVIS: Six.

MATT: Six. All righty. A fair day's travel.

LAURA: Yay! We did it!

MATT: So no major issues on this length of the journey.

LIAM: Guys, we won the campaign.

MATT: You did. Success.

LAURA: We won D&D!

MATT: Clear skies ahead. The temperature almost seems slightly warmer this day. It's a comfortable day of passage and you can see just even the general atmosphere on the ship itself. The crew seems to be a little more jovial and a little more relaxed than the previous two days.

TALIESIN: Arr.

MATT: Fourth day journey. You want to roll again?

TRAVIS: Sure.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: Eight.

MATT: Eight.

TALIESIN: Man.

MATT: Another ice channel. There is no wreckage this time, but it does add a day to the journey.

MARISHA: So how many days are we at now?

SAM: This is our fourth day of travel, but we've only moved one day.

MARISHA: Oh no. Is that true?

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Oh.

MATT: You have about six more days of travel.

TRAVIS: We're going to eat these people.

MARISHA: Oh shit!

MATT: It's a rough go.

MARISHA: Donner party of nine.

LAURA: I'm going to roll the next one.

TALIESIN: Going to turn them into bacon.

SAM: I think that we've just passed that shipwreck that we investigated.

MATT: Who's going to roll?

LAURA: Fjord is going to roll.

TALIESIN: Then we'll start going around.

TRAVIS: One. SAM, LAURA, and

TALIESIN: Yay.

TRAVIS: That's probably not good either.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: And we sink.

MARISHA: Is it the extremes?

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: Cool.

MATT: So.

TRAVIS: Fuck will fuck up.

ASHLEY: All right.

MATT: That morning--

ASHLEY: Okay. We're going to die.

MATT: The heavy clouds grow darker and the winds that were once still, begin to pick up. You feel the snowfall begin to turn into sleet, You feel the snowfall begin to turn into sleet, then hail and a heavy arctic storm begins to encompass the space around the ship. It slows travel.

SAM: To negative one.

MATT: If I could have Caduceus and Beauregard both roll perception checks with disadvantage.

LAURA: Oh no.

MARISHA: No. Wait, what? No.

TALIESIN: 15.

MARISHA: Oh, yikesy. Six.

MATT: The crew is currently in the process of shouting at each other. They're starting to prepare themselves for the onslaught. They're beginning to head below deck. A lot of them are throwing protective sheets over the ballista. But you watch as the sleet is currently causing ice to build up around the weaponry on the deck.

MARISHA: Caduceus, what is happening?

MATT: You hear a strange clicking sound.

MARISHA: Caduceus?

TALIESIN: There's a-- I hear a sound. There's something, Is it coming from outside the ship?

MATT: It's coming from somewhere beyond the deck. And there is now, between the sleet storm and the fog that's around and the heavy sound of the hitting of the deck of all these hundreds and thousands of pelts of ice. You hear this, like, (clicking).

MARISHA: Fucking clickers.

TALIESIN: I am-- Okay, really quick, out of curiosity-- It's been seven days since the last time I tried Divine Intervention, hasn't it?

MATT: Last time was on the island, right?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: Yeah. It's been more than seven days.

TALIESIN: Let's see if we can get rid of the storm? No. (laughter)

MATT: Unfortunately, in the center of this chaos, the Wild Mother can not hear your prayer.

TALIESIN: Are there any crew members running around?

MATT: There are what looks like four of them right now that are on the deck trying to clear off the--

TALIESIN: What kind of thing makes a clicking sound out there?

MATT: "What do you mean clicking sound?"

TALIESIN: (clicking)

MATT: "No idea what you're talking about."

TALIESIN: There's something out there.

MARISHA: I pull out my bo and I just say: Mighty Nein!

SAM: Ah!

MARISHA: And shout for everybody.

MATT: You guys here Beau shouting from the top of the deck.

TRAVIS: (whoosh) Sword.

LAURA: Go running up.

MATT: Sword is out, okay.

LAURA: Invoke Duplicity and run up.

MATT: Okay. You guys head up as the crew, in the process of getting these heavy tarps over the ballista, locking them down. One of the crew hands who was talking to you, Caduceus, runs over to the edge and looks over. "What the--!" and you see something grab and yank him over to the side. His legs just go, vanishing out of sight.

MARISHA: That's not good.

LIAM: I'm casting Mirror Image on myself.

TALIESIN: Casting Water Walk on everybody.

MATT: Okay. You can feel grinding against the base of the ship. Bits of ice and such are slamming into the sides of it in the middle of the storm. And you watch as, rising up over the edge, these massive crustacean-like creatures, with a dull, grayish, almost tan coloration to them with these heavy jagged claws and multiple legs. You recall seeing something like this beneath the ocean once before.

LAURA: Oh shit!

MATT: Tangled in the mass of--

LIAM: In that Leaning Tower of Pisa.

SAM: Oh, yeah.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: Wait, when we were in Dashilla shit?

MATT: And you see one, two and a third one is now climbing up over the edge there.

LAURA: Oh no no no.

SAM: Three?

MATT: So let me go ahead and set up a map. (cheering)

TRAVIS: My body is ready.

SAM: Guys--

LAURA: So ready.

SAM: This combat is sponsored by Dwarven Forge. Illuminated Hellscape terrain featuring glowing magma rivers is now available on their web store at dwarvenforge.com.

LIAM: ♪ Magma ♪

SAM: Oh, Matt left.

LIAM: He's corded. He's corded.

MATT: The cord can come with me, actually.

SAM: Oh boy.

TRAVIS: Nicely done.

LAURA: Oh god.

TRAVIS: We're going to freeze to death out here, guys.

LIAM: Oh, it's been so long.

SAM: It's the next day, right?

LAURA: Yeah, we're not still exhausted.

SAM: We're not so exhausted anymore, right?

LIAM: Yaas, boat!

MARISHA: We're not exhausted anymore.

TRAVIS: Oh yes. Look at the icebreaker!

SAM: Das Boot.

ASHLEY: Look at that beauty.

TRAVIS: Ballista.

SAM: Come on, Midnight Hammer.

LIAM: ♪ I'm just looking for one midnight hammer ♪

TRAVIS: Oh, yes.

SAM: Ooh, ice patches.

LAURA: Cool!

ASHLEY: Awesome.

SAM: Oh man, that's bad.

LIAM: ♪ Icebreaker goes bang, bang, bang ♪

LAURA: Those are awesome, Matt.

MATT: Thank you.

LIAM: So cool.

ASHLEY: That is so cool. I love it.

LAURA: All of the ice.

LIAM: Eiselcross.

MATT: This'll be here. There.

LAURA: So we could jump out and land on the ice.

SAM: Yeah, we could do some sort of weird hopscotch thing.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Placement-wise, where are you guys situated? Just so you know, the creatures that you saw emerge came up over this edge here.

MARISHA: Ah!

MATT: Here. This is actually placed there. And this one is currently rising up, back over the edge, right there.

LAURA: And if we came up from below deck, we would be--?

MATT: Over in this space here.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: So Beauregard and Caduceus, you are up top, and closer to this edge here. Beauregard probably here shouting out to the group. Unless there's anywhere else you'd wish to be?

TRAVIS: Oh, I'll be right here, rushing to that same area.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I'm going to send my duplicate up in the action and I'm going to actually have Jester stand right around here.

MATT: So Jester's going to stand right about there--

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: -- on the steps? Okay. Let me go ahead and take--

LAURA: Just to make life difficult for you.

MATT: I know. It's good. That's what I got putty for. All right. And the duplicate is--?

LAURA: Up, heading into the action.

MATT: Up here?

LAURA: Sure.

MATT: All right. We'll say up there next to Beauregard. Veth, Yasha?

SAM: Probably just emerged from the downstairs. Maybe just put me near one of those staircases.

MATT: All right. Put you there. And Yasha?

ASHLEY: Yeah. Same. I'll hop on that other side by, I think where Caleb-- is that Caleb?

MATT: Caleb is right there.

ASHLEY: Yeah. I'll go on the other side of Caleb.

MATT: Right there?

LIAM: I'll actually go on the steps opposite Jester.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: The other set.

MATT: Perfect. All right. And then the rest of the crew here is up on this edge.

SAM: Where's Marius?

LAURA: (laughs) Where's a good Marius when you need him?

MARISHA: He's dead already. Drowning, useless.

SAM: He's the big bad of the campaign.

ASHLEY: That'd be awesome.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: You thought I didn't kill.

MARISHA: He's in a mech suit, coming out of the ocean.

TRAVIS: Well, I do.

SAM: You've insulted me for the last time.

MARISHA: Holy shit!

MATT: All right. So. Everyone please roll initiative.

TRAVIS: Yes! Drought is over!

LAURA: God, I feel like I forget how to do this.

MATT: I know it's been a while.

ASHLEY: I get advantage.

LAURA: ♪ It's been a while ♪

TALIESIN: Oh no.

MARISHA: Adding my boots. Yeah. All right, all right, all right.

SAM: No good? Poor Ashley.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: I'm worse.

MATT: 25 to 20.

MARISHA: 20. Uh-oh, okay.

LIAM: Uh-oh.

MARISHA: Yep.

MATT: 20 to 15.

TRAVIS: Oh boy.

SAM: Ooh.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Oh boy.

MATT: 15 to 10?

TRAVIS: 14.

ASHLEY: 12.

LIAM: Oh my.

TRAVIS: Oh, wow.

MARISHA: Oh. We're still--

MATT: 10 to five?

LIAM: Acht.

SAM: Nine.

LAURA: Seven.

MATT: All right. We have-

LIAM: Seven, eight, nine.

MATT: Veth, Caleb, and Jester. All righty. And Caduceus?

TALIESIN: Three.

MATT: Oh, buddy.

TALIESIN: It's better for the healer to go last.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Yes.

TALIESIN: I can undo anything terrible that happens.

LAURA: The healers are last. The healers.

MATT: Okay, then.

LIAM: Fall and then make a decision.

LAURA: (quietly) I'm not going to do any healing.

MATT: Perfect. Top of the round is Beauregard and the crew. The crew that actually would be probably over here. haven't noticed yet and are in the process of battening down the weaponry from the storm. So they're just staying put for now. Beauregard, what are you doing?

MARISHA: Oh boy. Okay. I see how many dudes?

MATT: You see three coming up over that side of the ship.

MARISHA: Three dudes. "Plus to attack and damage rolls." Okay. Sorry, just making sure. Okay.

SAM: Lobster's on the menu.

MARISHA: All right. I head towards the lobsters.

MATT: Okay. Which one? Where?

TALIESIN: Block me.

MARISHA: I guess the closest lobster.

MATT: 45, 50? You can get right there amongst--

SAM: The most intelligent.

MATT: You can get within two of them, if you want.

MARISHA: Yeah, is there a leader-looking lobster?

TALIESIN: There's a lobster wearing like a--

SAM: A little hat?

MATT: They're all pretty even, it seems. You either get in. between there or you can head up the stairs and just go after this one there. Which would you prefer?

LIAM: We're more of a collective.

MARISHA: The one that's closest to being a threat. Yeah, this one over there.

MATT: Okay, got it.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That feels right. That feels right.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: That looks like a terrible place to be.

MARISHA: I take out my Belabor, which I-- this might be the first time that I'm using it-- and I hit a little awesome button and it goes (clicking) and pop, pop.

MATT: Go for it.

MARISHA: Yeah, okay. One of those is bad.

TRAVIS: Yeah, okay.

MARISHA: 27.

MATT: 27 hits.

MARISHA: And 17.

MATT: 17 hits.

MARISHA: Okay. 1d8 plus 10, which is good. 15 damage and 16 damage.

MATT: All right. Nice.

MARISHA: And for that first one--

MATT: Crack, crack! You hit the outside of its physical shell and you can see elements of it scrape off and break, but it's heavily armored.

MARISHA: Is stunning this thing going to-- whatever, Stunning Strike.

MATT: Stunning Strike. That is a seven. That is a failure.

MARISHA: Yeah, definitely fail.

MATT: So this guy here is stunned.

MARISHA: I'm going to turn my attention-- is the other one nearby? Am I able to hit it?

MATT: You can if you move through here, you can get to this one.

MARISHA: I have enough movement to do that?

MATT: You do, 'cause you're a monk.

MARISHA: Yeah. All right. Bonus action. Pop pop.

MATT: Go for it.

MARISHA: Yeah, both of those definitely hit with a 30 to hit and 27 again.

MATT: Hits, damn.

MARISHA: And then these are just my fists. Oh, which are d8s now. Need to make sure I remember that. Okay. That is 10 damage and eight damage. And stunning strike.

MATT: Stunning strike again for that guy. Natural 20. So that's 23.

MARISHA: Lame. But Extract Aspects.

MATT: Extract aspects. They are immune to poison and being poisoned.

MARISHA: Okay. So I just shout out to the team: Don't try and poison them. They're kind of nasty.

MATT: Finishing Beau's go; Fjord, you're up.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah. I'll see Beau run up to all three of them like it's a party and I will join her at the bow. I'll run up as well.

MATT: Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. You can get right about there on the stairs.

TRAVIS: Okay. Wow. I'm not even that close, never mind.

MATT: You're not quite the monk speed, unfortunately.

TRAVIS: Ba bip bow! Eldritch Blast at the one that is stunned.

MATT: You got it.

TRAVIS: I'll do three of those. That is 20 to hit.

MATT: Yeah, that definitely hits. Attack rolls against it have advantage, by the way, because it's stunned.

TRAVIS: Oh! Well, that one was-- second one and it was less. Second one is a 25 to hit.

MATT: Yep.

TRAVIS: The third one is, 22 to hit.

MATT: All hit. Go ahead and roll damage.

TRAVIS: 11. 25.

SAM: Lots of rolling.

TRAVIS: 36 points of Eldritch Blast damage.

MATT: Nice! As it's there on the ground, recovering from the slamming from Beauregard, (unhappy clicking and gurgling) you release all three Eldritch Blasts. They going to arc up and over the stairway slamming into in the face. You see these black impacts are left across its normally water-drenched face where ice crystals have gathered, once it hit the frozen air. And as it does, one of its eyes bursts on one side. It has multiple eyes, so it doesn't really deter it. But as it does, it recoils and brings its claws up defensively in front of it. It looks pretty shaken by that display.

TRAVIS: Nice.

MATT: Finishes your go?

TRAVIS: Yes.

MATT: Yasha, you're up.

ASHLEY: Okay, so. I would like to run up to them as fast as I can. I would like to run up to them as fast as I can.

MATT: 30, 35, 40. What's your movement?

ASHLEY: 50.

MATT: 50. You can get up to the stairs there. Oh god.

LIAM: Dang.

ASHLEY: Maybe I will, then-- Bee bee bee bee.

TALIESIN: Can you move faster raging or no?

ASHLEY: Okay.

SAM: This is eerie battle music.

ASHLEY: I will--

LAURA: I know.

ASHLEY: Okay. I would like to rage.

TRAVIS and ASHLEY: Yes!

ASHLEY: Yeah, that's as close as I can get, huh? Okay. So then--

MATT: You have your action still. So you could use your action to get all the way up there, or you could just stay put if you want to. Your call.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I'm going to get all the way up there. Come on.

MATT: All right.

ASHLEY: Yeah. Okay.

MATT: You got it.

ASHLEY: Ready.

MATT: Okay. Finishing Yasha's go; it is now these creatures' turn. One of them is stunned and can't do anything. The one that's currently right in front of Beau and Yasha is going to go ahead and make its attacks against her.

MARISHA: Against who?

MATT: Against-- sorry. Against you since you're the one who's right there.

MARISHA: All right.

MATT: So the first strike. It's going to be 24 to hit.

MARISHA: A-yep.

MATT: Second one is natural 20. Holy shit. Okay.

TALIESIN: Am I within 30 feet?

MATT: You are--

LIAM: Looks like it.

MATT: Just out of it.

TALIESIN: Fuck. Never mind.

MATT: Sorry. So the first hit against you, Beauregard, is 14 points of bludgeoning damage.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: And you are grappled as it grabs you in the claw. So you are now currently being held by the creature in one of its giant pincers.

MARISHA: All right.

MATT: The other one is 18 points of bludgeoning damage. That's the crit. It did not roll great for the damage. So be thankful on that, but nevertheless. There we go. Grappled.

LAURA: Oh no!

MATT: And the one behind on this point is going to go ahead and move. Skitter over to the side to go after Yasha.

LAURA: (skittering noises)

ASHLEY and LAURA: (skittering and clicking)

LAURA: I don't like these guys.

SAM: Nope. They're big.

MATT: Two attacks against you, Yasha.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: That is 24.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: Rolling really well. And a 17.

ASHLEY: No.

MATT: One strike swings towards you and grabs you. You are grappled from the first strike. The second one misses you, but you are currently being held in its claws. You take-- Oof. 16 points of bludgeoning damage. Halved, because you are raging, to eight. But you are currently grappled and held within its large pincer.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: All right. That finishes their go. Veth, you're up, with Caleb on deck.

SAM: Huh. It seems like they grab anyone who comes close, so maybe not that. I'll just take a couple of steps to my left and I will take some buttons out of my pocket and throw them into the air and cast a spell, turning the buttons into swirling, glowing... buttons. (laughter)

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Swirling buttons. I will cast Hypnotic Pattern.

MATT: Oh! On a spot right in the middle of them. I don't care if it hits Beau. I don't care if it hits Yasha. I especially don't care if it hits Fjord.

MATT: 30-foot cube. You could hit all of them, and if you really want to push it, you could probably hit Fjord, too, if you really want to.

SAM: No, I'll keep him out of it.

MATT: But you don't need to.

TRAVIS: That's called character growth.

MATT: Okay. So I need both Yasha and Beauregard to make a wisdom saving throw, please.

TALIESIN: Oh no.

ASHLEY: My specialty.

MARISHA: Yasha.

SAM: I feel like you're raging and that you can't be charmed. Is that true?

MATT: That doesn't work for her barbarian type, unfortunately.

MARISHA: Natural one.

TRAVIS: Oh wow.

LIAM: Nice.

ASHLEY: 18.

TRAVIS: Let's go, fam!

MARISHA: Role reversal!

MATT: So you succeed. Beauregard, you are charmed.

MARISHA: Yeah, but I can use an action to end the charm.

SAM: It's a monk thing; you can't be charmed.

MARISHA: I can use an action.

SAM: It's got to be a monk thing.

MARISHA: I can use an action to do it.

MATT: However, you are incapacitated while charmed with a speed of zero so you do not get actions.

TRAVIS: (laughs) Oh no!

MARISHA: Wait, how does that work then?

LIAM: Just like that.

MATT: Other charms, you still have your action, but this particular ability, this spell, does not give you actions while you're charmed. You're essentially standing there. You're in its claw going--

SAM: Literally everything that happens to you, you're like, "Monk, I can undo it." Except for this?!

MARISHA: Buttons are pretty.

MATT: Fail. This guy's no longer-- or he's stunned until the end of your next turn, so. Other one, natural one, fail.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: And that is a 14. What's your spell DC?

SAM: 16.

MATT: 16. They're all charmed.

MARISHA: Okay. That's good.

MATT: And incapacitated.

SAM: So they can't move?

TRAVIS: All three?

MATT: They can't move. They can't take actions--

TRAVIS: That's huge.

MATT: -- and for as long as it is--

TRAVIS: She was fucked.

SAM: Yeah. Plus, we can go grab her body and just, like, slide it out.

MATT: All righty. Finishes your turn, Veth. Right? You moved, you cast your spell.

SAM: As a bonus action, I will just-- I'll charge up my old Brenatto's Voltaic Bolt.

MATT: Can't cast two spells in one round unless one's a cantrip.

SAM: Well then, in that case, I will bonus action dash. No, I'll just, I'll patient defense. Can I do that?

MATT: No.

TRAVIS: Nope.

SAM: (laughs) Shit.

(laughter)

SAM: I'll hide behind the ballista.

MATT: Hide behind this ballista here?

LAURA: How are we this level and you have no idea?

SAM: I just-- I don't know.

TRAVIS: It happens. It happens.

TALIESIN: That's how long it takes you to regret everything.

MARISHA: He wants to be a monk so bad.

SAM: They're so cool!

MATT: So you're using the rest of your movement to go behind the ballista and you're attempting to hide?

SAM: Yes.

MATT: Roll a stealth check for me.

LAURA: Oh my god.

MATT: Caleb, you're coming up.

TRAVIS: If only we had a software program

SAM: A lot.

TRAVIS: -- that had bonus actions.

SAM: 34.

MATT: Okay. Caleb, you're up.

LIAM: Man. That changed everything I wanted to do. Can I-- from where I am, can I see Beauregard looking like she got the whammy, or is that impossible to see?

MATT: With your passive perception, I'd say, I'd say at 19, yeah. You can tell. You can see the entire group, like, there's this big flash of light and color, this weird pattern, like a bunch patterned lights start blinking in that space. And as it does, you watch Yasha duck out of the way, closing her eyes. All three of the creatures begin to like-- (slow clicking) and stand there weirdly staring and Beauregard has gone from struggling to just limply staying within its grasp.

LIAM: Okay. Then I will-- All right, so peering through and seeing her looking like she took the whammy, instead of moving back, like I was going to do, I'm going to move forward and I'm going to cast Dispel Magic on her.

MATT: On her? Okay.

SAM: Ooh.

MARISHA: Thanks, friend.

MATT: As you do that, the effect drops from her. You are no longer charmed. You're still grappled.

SAM: And all of your magic items are now destroyed.

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: What the fuck, dude?

LIAM: I cast Disintegrate. (laughter)

MATT: Perfect. Are you staying where you are?

LIAM: I'll move-- yeah, I actually wanted to move first. I'll be on top of the grate in the center of the ship there.

MATT: Here?

LIAM: Ja.

MATT: Okay. You got it. Finishing that go--

SAM: I'm right next to you, Caleb.

MATT: Jester, you're up. Caduceus, you're on deck.

SAM: You can't see me, because I'm hiding.

LAURA: We can't harm them. Right?

SAM: If you do, they'll wake up. But you can certainly harm them.

LAURA: How long does it last?

SAM: Until you harm them.

MATT: It lasts for up to one minute,

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Until they're harmed. Or Veth drops concentration.

LAURA: Okay, then I'm going to send my duplicate to where she's up and in close proximity, like touchable to all three of them, or two.

MATT: All three, you can't do, but two of them you can.

LAURA: Then two of them at a time. Yeah, sure. However, I can be to--

MATT: Drift about there is where you'd want to, catty-corner to where Beauregard is grappled.

LAURA: Okay. And I'm going to cast Spiritual Weapon.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: At... 5th-level.

MATT: All righty. Where do you want it?

LAURA: Right above the one that's holding Beau.

MATT: Okay. So we'll say about--

SAM: Don't kill Beau.

MATT: Okay. Is that your turn?

LAURA: Oh, I guess that's a bonus.

MATT: You have an action to do a cantrip or to just move.

LAURA: Can I prep? Oh no. That's 'cause-- I'll hold Toll the Dead until they start moving. If it happens before my turn.

MATT: Okay. Towards who?

LAURA: The one holding Beau.

MATT: The one holding Beau. You got it. Jester's turn's done. Caduceus, you're up.

TALIESIN: So if I cast an effect on them that doesn't cause damage, that shouldn't interrupt the spell, correct?

MATT: If you cast a spell that does not do damage?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: Yeah. That wouldn't interrupt the spell.

TALIESIN: Oh, then I'm going to walk up just close enough to cast Bane on all three of them.

TRAVIS: Bless you.

SAM: Nice.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: That's a different spell.

MATT: Do they get saves on that, right?

TALIESIN: Yeah, that's a charisma save.

MATT: Charisma save. (cackles)

TRAVIS: Super high.

MATT: That's a fail. That's a fail. Negative one, zero, and-- That's actually a high roll, but with their penalty, no. So they are all baned.

MARISHA: But they seem so charming.

TALIESIN: They seem so charming.

LIAM: You spooky motherfucker.

TALIESIN: And now I'm going to back up as much as I can. I'm going to get that in there and then I'm going to back up and head towards the center of the boat, too, because I don't trust that more of these things aren't going to show up.

TRAVIS: It is a crowded-ass bow of the ship.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: 30, about there?

LIAM: ♪ On the bow of the ship ♪

TALIESIN: Not quite that far back, actually.

MATT: Like there?

TALIESIN: Yeah. I want to be able to-- yeah. So I can grab onto the ballista if things go shitty.

MATT: You've got it. Okay. So end of the round. Top of the next round. You hear some shouts from behind. "Ah!"

LIAM: Yes. Knew it.

LAURA: That makes sense.

SAM: Round two.

MATT: This crew's going to run down this way and the captain is going to back around the other side of the wheel, (panting), as a creature here begins to walk up--

SAM: It's a different creature.

MATT: -- to the edge.

LIAM: Ooh.

LAURA: Uh oh!

MATT: You see a humanoid figure step up to the side, this grayish-blue, almost blubbery, smooth skin. You see these, their hair comes down to these long tentacle-like tendrils and the mouth itself is partially open. A familiar creature you've encountered once before.

LIAM: Same mini.

LAURA: Oh no.

TRAVIS: Don't look over at me.

MATT: As it--

(laughter)

MATT: As you see it peering over and holding a small crystal in its hand, it goes-- across the front of the boat and goes (chuckles). Puts a finger forward.

SAM: Oh no.

MATT: The amber necklace you have around your body, just shatters, dispelled, and all the contents (thudding) onto the deck of the ship.

TRAVIS: Oh fuck! Oh shit.

MATT: Scattering and spilling out into the space of the wood and ice, all over.

MARISHA: Wait, doesn't it have a lot of our shit?

LIAM: It's got the fucking cloven crystal... and a shit ton of fireworks! (cheering)

MARISHA: Oh-- oh. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Can you point to where Caleb is, please?

MATT: Yes, right there.

LIAM: Center of the ship. Center.

MATT: As you're up on the staircase, you hear the shouts and look over and you see this creature out of the corner of your eye and the necklace shatter, and you watch, as amongst all the rummage that falls to the ground scattering, you see the one little yellow orb, roll off to this direction.

SAM: Is the ship, like--

MATT: And right as you're having this, you hear something go, "Psst," to your right side and you look over and just pulling up on the side of the boat, you see a humanoid figure with ice clusters gathered around its shoulders. You see this large brimmed hat--

LIAM: It's her!

MATT: -- and this plume of feathers, pale-ish skin with a twisted, broken semblance on the neck. The eyes glowing faintly blue--

LIAM: Yes!

MARISHA: Oh my god!

MATT: -- as you see the visage of Captain Avantika go--

ALL: Oh!

MATT: "Darling, we have business elsewhere."

TRAVIS: No!

MATT: And is going to grab towards you.

LIAM: Crazy ex-girlfriend.

MARISHA: Oh shit.

MATT: Hold on a second.

SAM: You fucked her.

ASHLEY: Holy mackerel.

TRAVIS: Well, yeah!

SAM: You shouldn't've!

TRAVIS: I was trying to keep our enemies close!

TALIESIN: I warned you.

TRAVIS: (laughs) Yeah. Oh no.

SAM: Was it worth it for that?

LIAM: I encouraged you.

TRAVIS: Most def.

LAURA: Oh no.

ASHLEY: Oh no.

MATT: All right. So this is going to be--

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

LIAM: Awesome.

SAM: So wait, what fell out of your necklace?

LIAM: His tummy stone and a ton of fireworks.

SAM: It's just rolling around on the deck?!

LIAM: Yes!

TRAVIS: "Tummy stone."

MARISHA: And fucking fireworks. Use those.

SAM: Tummy sticks, oh no.

LAURA: All of the fireworks. All of the fireworks.

MATT: Make a strength check for me, Fjord.

ASHLEY: Wait, was anything else in there, or that's it?

LIAM: Right now, that's it.

TRAVIS: Strength check.

MATT: Just roll a d20 and add your strength modifier.

SAM: Fireworks and the most important relic of our past.

TRAVIS: Natural 20.

MATT: No shit!

TRAVIS: Natural 20 for a 21.

TRAVIS and LAURA: (laughing)

MATT: You lucky fucker.

TRAVIS: (laughs) Uh-huh!

MATT: So--

TRAVIS: With the Fjord dice.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

TRAVIS: Oh man.

LAURA: That's the Uk'otoa dice.

TRAVIS: That is the Uk'otoa dice.

LAURA and SAM: (whispering) Uk'otoa.

MATT: The currently undead form of Avantika.

SAM: Undead Avantika.

TRAVIS: I'm dying.

MATT: Sits on the edge, we'll say right there.

ASHLEY: Undeadika.

MATT: I'll deal with that.

MARISHA: Jeez, okay.

MATT: Grabs your your arm and is attempting to throw you overboard, and you resist and pull your grasp away. And as you do, she goes, "Interesting." And pulls out two blades. You see in one hand, this blackened metal hooked dagger that comes to a point and then hooks back underneath. And in the other is this rapier, but the rapier itself has this weird, tentacle-like spiral up the center of the blade. where it comes and gathers around the base, you can see barnacles and jagged, crystal-like glass. "It's been a while."

LAURA: Oh no.

MATT: And that's where we're going to pick up next time.

ALL: No!

LIAM: Right in the middle of the fight?!

MATT: I know, but it's--

TRAVIS and MARISHA: It is late.

MATT: It's pretty late. We'll pick up from the top of the combat round.

MARISHA: With me? With me? Is it Beau?

TRAVIS: It's the top.

MARISHA: Oh boy, oh boy.

MATT: So you are next.

MARISHA: Okay. Can you, before we close, can you just give me, like, I'm having a hard time seeing who's where. Can you do a little point out, call out thing?

LIAM: Pile of lobsters.

MATT: No worries.

MARISHA: I'm in a pile of lobsters.

MATT: You are in a pile of lobsters.

LIAM: I want to play so bad right now.

TRAVIS: I'll appeal. I'll appeal to her feminine wiles.

LAURA: Sure.

SAM: Just flirt with her.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

SAM: That'll catch her off guard.

LIAM: You're the face.

TRAVIS: I'll give her a kiss and it'll be like in the movies and all the ice will melt.

SAM: (grunts) You'll run your blade through her during the kiss?

MATT: Beau's right there.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: Yasha's there.

LIAM: Goddamn it.

TRAVIS: That's a Game of Thrones--

MATT: That's Jester's ability, Jester's form.

LAURA: That's my duplicate.

MATT: Duplicate. So Beau, Yasha, duplicate, creature, creature, creature.

LAURA: Where's my spiritual weapon?

MATT: Your spiritual weapon is towards the very back, near the front of the ship.

SAM: Wait, we killed Avantika.

MATT: You didn't kill Avantika.

TRAVIS: The Plank King did.

MATT: The Plank King did.

TRAVIS: Snapped her neck.

MARISHA: Snapped her neck.

SAM: Like, is Uk'otoa here? Are we fighting Uk'otoa now?

LAURA: She's definitely working for Uk'otoa now.

TRAVIS: They only need this thing to let him out

MATT: You carry the most important artifact in the entirety--

SAM: Not carrying it anymore. It's rolling around the deck.

MATT: Well, you were carrying.

LAURA: Oh my god.

TRAVIS: I thought that thing was unbreakable or something.

LIAM: We've gone months without combat and we got one round.

MARISHA: Wow. Wowsers.

SAM: I need it.

MATT: We'll pick up there next time.

ASHLEY: Ugh.

MATT: So on that note, thank you all so much. I'm going to sit down, actually.

SAM: That game was a Sam dunk.

MATT: Goddamn it, Sam.

(laughter)

MATT: Thank you all so much for joining us. We'll pick up with this insane combat next week, but we love you very much. And is it Thursday yet? Good night.