Transcript:Hunted at Sea

List of Transcripts

Pre-Show
MATT: Hello, and welcome to Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. TRAVIS: (hollering) We play Dungeons & Dragons! LAURA: Oh my god. MATT: Missed you guys so much. ASHLEY: Oh man! SAM: Oh man. MATT: Missed you guys so much. Thank you, all, so much for your patience, as we all adjusted to this pandemic. We kept ourselves and our crew safe and healthy and worked on a process of getting us to this optimal setup, which was brainstormed and developed by our fantastic production team. Thank you so much to our production team and Marisha. TRAVIS: Yes, yes, yes! Yeah, snap. MATT: The content team's working so hard throughout this time to get us back here in a very safe manner. And thank you for your patience, guys, sincerely. This is really exciting. It's not until-- and I'm sure some of you can speak to this, too-- it's not until this is taken from you that you realize how important of a rock it is in your weekly life, let alone daily life and-- LIAM: Straight up. MATT: (sighs) I'm so happy to be back here with you guys. LIAM: Yeah. MATT: Okay. TRAVIS: How do we do this? (laughter) LAURA: I'm so nervous. MATT: That's the crazy thing about D&D. You just kind of improvise. LAURA: Just make it up. MATT: Just figure it out, you'll be fine. Quick housekeeping note, we will not be hosting a giveaway at the break, as we have previously. For the time being, at least, we won't be doing that. And we'll let you know whenever that changes. But big thanks to our friends at Wyrmwood for helping us make our break times for the show so epic, for as long as they have been around. We really appreciate it. You guys are awesome. Let's see, we have some announcements. We'll begin-- Sam, you had something you wanted to mention. SAM: Yes, there's no-- (clears throat) There's no sponsor for tonight, but if I don't speak for a minute at the top of the show, I have no purpose in life. (laughter) So rather than wither into a husk, I wrote a poem. (clears throat) TRAVIS: Oh no. SAM: This isn't an ad. There's no sponsor today, just some friends and some dice, here to laugh and to play. It's scary outside, filled with hard news and strife. But in here, Fjord sails us through a fantasy life, where we battle for gold and drink from a flagon, unless we get snapped up by a turtle or dragon. We know that reality's been quite pernicious, but you made it this far, and we're so glad you're with us. Us in our studio, you safe at home, and though we sit by ourselves, we don't feel alone. We're surrounded by love, of all colors and races, by Pride, by Black Lives, by Critters in all places. So thank you. Thanks to the techies, the staff, and the crew, but most importantly, thank you to you. While we were gone, you patiently wait. You guys are our antidote. You let us create. And so I raise a glass, and though we can't clink 'em, we can still toast, and we can still drink 'em. (laughter) We love all you Critters, and I'm happy to say, tonight, you're going to watch a really great TPK. (laughter) It's been a while-- ALL: ♪ It's been a while ♪ SAM: But in case you forget, you can always ask, is it Thursday yet? Cheers! ALL: Oh! TRAVIS: Love you, man. LAURA: Cheers! MATT: Love you, buddy. TRAVIS: You made the wizard cry before the game started. MARISHA: I know. I'm all watery now. ASHLEY: Yeah, that got me. MATT: Yeah. ASHLEY: Jeesh! TALIESIN: Goddamn. LAURA: Oh man. MATT: Thank you, Sam. That was really sweet. TALIESIN: That was amazing. TALIESIN: It should've rhymed, though. MATT: A broken clock. (laughter) ASHLEY: And finding a rhyme with "pernicious," no less. MATT: Yeah! SAM: Come on, who are you talking to? (laughter) TALIESIN: I'll admit that rhyme, it made me suspicious. SAM: Oh! ASHLEY: Ay! TALIESIN: Still, no. MATT: No (laughs). Thank you, Sam. Marisha, you had some things you wanted to talk about. MARISHA: Yes, so in case you missed it, we released a brand new State of the Role that explains a lot about the process of bringing the show back and the safety measures that went into this and what you can expect from the channel in the near future, so be sure to check it out. It kind of explains a lot more of what you see here. It'll be on our YouTube channel. And yeah, with that, this is prerecorded. So when you see this, it'll be the future. But now, it's the past. So just know that. You should probably know that. We're pre-taping this, for safety. LIAM: (as Caleb) How did you accomplish this great feat? (laughter) MARISHA: The magic of scrying stones has gotten (clicks) top notch. SAM: It's the future. That means that things are better and better, right? That's how things have been going. MARISHA: Yes. SAM: Great. MATT: They will be eventually. MARISHA: We'll see, right? TRAVIS: 2020 might have something to say about that (laughs). MARISHA: The chat will let us know. (laughter) With that, join us, next Tuesday, on July 7th, at 4:00pm Pacific, for our latest episode of Narrative Tal-- uh, Narrative Taliesin, featuring Telephone. (laughter) I don't know how words work anymore. I've been locked in a room. Yeah, you're doing a thing. You're doing your Narrative Telephone, and it's next. TALIESIN: It's also in the future and in the past. MARISHA: Yeah. TALIESIN: That's true. TRAVIS: Just like you. LAURA: Whoa. MARISHA: And that's it, that's it. I'm glad to be back. Holy shit. (laughter) MATT: Thank you, Marisha. And speaking of Narrative Taliesin, Taliesin, Liam, you guys wanted to talk a little bit. TALIESIN: Yeah, yeah, I'll start this off. While we were on our imposed hiatus, we apparently released a third art book, in our series of art books, The Chronicles of Exandria. This one is kind of special, because the writing team, which was myself, Dani Carr, and whoever I could wrangle from the cast, and also Marisha's notes, which were very helpful, put together this book as The Mighty Nein, from Beau's point of view. It's got a lot of interesting narrative stuff, and I'm really excited for you all to see what we put together. ASHLEY: Cool. TALIESIN: Oh, well. LIAM: This beautiful beast, the deluxe version is currently sold out in our shops, but we're going to try to get it restocked in the store, sometime later in the summer, but for now, the standard edition, you can find it, right now, through your favorite local bookstores and online through Amazon, Barnes & Noble. And since we're back, since we're in the past and in the future, and talking to you guys again, I just want to take a moment-- this is not the standard, it is still the deluxe-- but just to thank every artist who contributed to this. It was a work of love, from top to bottom, that wouldn't exist without you. I'm going to just gush and show a couple of like, uh-- SAM: Sneakie-peakies? LIAM: Some beautiful stuffs here. Here, we have a spread with art by Jonah Baumann, @GalacticJonah, as well as Meghan Pagliaroni, who I know better as @SmallTownInk, because I know people's handle first, because it's 2020. That's a beautiful spread. MATT: Yeah! TALIESIN: Oh! MARISHA: Look at that. LIAM: That one. TRAVIS: (laughs) Oh, man. MATT: It's so purty. LIAM: I also flagged this one, with this great Yasha. TALIESIN: Oh! ASHLEY: Hey! LIAM: Which is done by Azra or Azra, @Azraillu, I don't know how to pronounce that. MATT: (laughs) That's beautiful. LIAM: And then, one more I'm going to show, this one was done by Will Kirkby, and it was one that no one has seen before. It only exists in this book, and it's gorgeous. SAM: Oh, really? LIAM: Everyone looks sad, because something bad happened just moments before this. SAM: Spoilers, spoilers. Oh wow. LIAM: But just so layered and complicated, and the color is amazing. Will, you've outdone yourself again and again and again, and it's full, I'm just not going to give away the whole story. It's just everything, top to bottom, every page is gorgeous. Thank you, artists, always. That's it for me. MATT: Awesome, thank you. (cheering) SAM: Good job, guys. MATT: We've got a few more things to talk about. It's been a while. ALL: ♪ It's been a while ♪ MATT: So we've got a little bit of catching up to do here. But, Laura, you're up next. LAURA: I'm up! Okay, so, you guys-- (laughs) so we've been working on this thing for a while, and we've been holding onto it, because this is for the 100th episode. And now we can finally show it to you. It is a spell scroll. SAM: A spell scroll? LAURA: Well, I mean, sort of. So, it's in conjunction with our pals at Die Hard Dice. They helped us make-- MATT: ♪ Die Hard Dice ♪ LAURA: This amazing scroll, which is based on... Fortune's Favor. SAM: Ooh! LAURA: So yeah, these are sketches done by Taliesin, with input from Matt. There's little Easter eggs on the page, so you can check it out. And then it's to roll your dice on, because everything has to do with dice, here. And then, in here, it's also got this fabulous little pocket, so you can put, like, your figures or some dice and stuff, you know. Pretty great, and over here you've got a whole other pouch. You guys, it's the coolest! Anyway. (laughter) Seriously, check it out. It's in the store... a-now. This is our commemorative item. TRAVIS: "A-now!" LAURA: And then, also, I'm not going to talk about everything, but we also released a bunch of items while we've been on hiatus, so go to the store, check them out, some of it's really fricking cute. I just sent you guys a picture of one of them. SAM: Holy-- MATT: Mm-hmm. SAM: That's available now? LAURA: Yes! TALIESIN: That was a lot. LAURA: Go to the store! SAM: Oh boy. MATT: Awesome. SAM: Oh boy, oh. MATT: Thank you, Laura. That spell scroll, because Taliesin is an insane person, not only does it have a bunch of Easter eggs in it. TRAVIS: It does? MATT: It's functional, in as much a spell scroll can be functional in its design. LAURA: I should say this was also helped designed by Aaron Monroy, who works at the company. MATT: Oh, yeah. LAURA: He's phenomenal. He does such amazing work, so yeah. ASHLEY: Oh, this is so cool. MATT: But, anyway. We'll talk about that another time. TALIESIN: I'll talk about that, another time. That's a Talks Machina thing. MATT: All right, and, Ashley, I believe you're up last. ASHLEY: Yes, hey, guys, hello. SAM: Ashley, it's your standard announcement. ASHLEY: My standard announcement. Listen, we wanted to remind everyone to continue supporting organizations working towards ending systemic racism and promoting equality in our communities. (fists thumping) MARISHA: Yes! (fingers snapping) ASHLEY: We stand with the Black Lives Matter movement, and we wanted to share some of our favorite organizations who are all working towards ending complex and unjust systems in our communities. Color of Change, which you can check out at colorofchange.org. Race Forward, which you can check out at raceforward.org. And the NAACP Legal Defense and Education Fund, which you can check out at A-- nope. (laughter) naacpldf.org. So if you are able to, please consider a donation to one of these three amazing organizations or any one of your choosing. Don't forget to love each other. SAM: Yay. TRAVIS: Yeah. MATT: Thank you, Ashley, and thank you, guys. So happy to be back. And since I believe that concludes our announcements-- SAM: No, no! TRAVIS: Can we talk about something else? MATT: I believe it's time to jump into tonight's episode of-- (squealing and nervous noises) MARISHA: Did you guys watch Tiger King? MATT: Critical Role! (yelling)

Part I
MATT: And welcome back. SAM: What? Oh! TRAVIS: Oh god. LAURA: We didn't even say any weird things. SAM: Kill the feed! MATT: No, you did not. LAURA: Oh god! MATT: Not my problem. Last we left off, The Mighty Nein, who had long been trying to bring some semblance of peace between the two warring nations of the Kryn Dynasty and the Dwendalian Empire, had finally, allied with some unique allies, made for some strange bedfellows, as you accompanied armadas to meet in the southern reaches of the Lucidian Ocean, south of Wildemount. There, you helped watch the proceeding completion and success of these peace negotiations. Prisoners of war were traded. The last, as far as they're aware, beacon was given back to the Kryn Dynasty, and you all decided to make your way towards Rumblecusp, in preparation for the coming date of Traveler Con, over a week from now. You had all-- over a week from the moment we start this session, at the time, about two weeks out. You had began traveling southwest, beneath the island of Urukayxl, where you once fought your way into an ancient temple and unlocked one of the various seals of Uk'otoa. ALL: (whispering) Uk'otoa. MATT: You went around the Inkclaw Reef, continuing towards this island of Rumblecusp. And it was on this fourth day of your journey that Caduceus began to notice something off the stern. It appeared to be a landmass of some kind. TRAVIS: It took you four days. MATT: But after-- Well, on the fourth day, it was noticed. It doesn't mean it was there for four days, but-- You noticed it seemed to be keeping pace. No, in fact, it seemed to be gaining-- SAM: Oh boy. MATT: -- on your ship. As word got around, you all begin to realize that this wasn't an island or a landmass at all. Instead, this was a massive creature, beneath the waves, a domed-shell, covered in spikes-- SAM: Oh boy. MATT: -- and armored scales. You saw massive, fin-like limbs pushing through beneath the water, as its snout pointed, angry, emerged from the water. This gargantuan dragon turtle was rocketing through the waters, in the direction of your ship. And, my friends-- TRAVIS: Oh no. MATT: -- that is where we are picking up. So, as you are all gathering now, looking off of the stern of the ship, you notice this massive entity is careening towards you and, I'd say, at this point, it's about 200 or so feet out, and it is rapidly gaining. MARISHA: Two, two, 200 feet? LAURA: 200 feet? MARISHA: Feet? TRAVIS: So a quick status check. Do we see any land anywhere, any horizon? MATT: From where you currently are, no. You can make off, in the distance from where you had been, elements of, well, you wouldn't be able to see it so much, from this distance, but you know you're far past the Inkclaw Reef, and that's the closest landmass that you've been near, and Urukayxl itself. TRAVIS: And can we currently tell if we are sailing with the wind, against the wind? MATT: You're sailing perpendicular to the wind. So it is not helping you or harming you. TRAVIS: Cool, cool. Shit, shit. SAM: (giggles) TRAVIS: Right. LIAM: Captain, do you have any experience with this sort of thing? TRAVIS: That is a fucking great question. Has Fjord got any experience with dragon turtles? (laughter) MATT: No! Up to this point, dragon turtles were just a spooky ghost story that drunken sailors would tell in taverns, or they would tell sailors that were new to the shipping industry, just to spook them. LAURA: Would Jester have heard any of these ghost stories? MATT: Make a history check. TRAVIS: Fucking roll, first roll back. MARISHA: Come on. SAM: This is it, Laura. MARISHA: Come on. LAURA: If I roll poorly, we're all going to die, tonight. SAM: Yep. MARISHA: No. LIAM: It's on you. LAURA: Oh no, it's-- oh. (laughter) This is history? I mean, I have shit history, but I rolled an 11, so it's 12. MATT: 12? No. But you've heard this. And you may have heard, in passing, of their existence. But in the same context, they're just known to destroy ships and carry their contents down beneath the waves, supposedly probably dragging what remnants within, onward to where they call their home. MARISHA: So they're giant pirates. They're big pirate turtles, pirate dragon turtles. MATT: Yeah. LAURA: Did you cast Water Breathing this morning? TRAVIS: Yeah, 2:30, every day, while we're on the water. LAURA: Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. ASHLEY: So we can all breathe underwater. TALIESIN: I can take this moment-- what? ASHLEY: We can breathe underwater. TALIESIN: Oh. MARISHA: I feel like we should use that in, like, an emergency situation. TALIESIN: I'm going to take a moment to just cast Water Walk on everybody, except Nott and plus Orly and three other crew members, whoever's around. TRAVIS: What do you mean "Water Walk"? Like, we literally walk on the water? TALIESIN: Yeah, you'll hit it like ground. MARISHA: What if you want to swim? Can you choose to swim if you water walk? SAM: Why would you want to swim? MARISHA: Well, you know-- SAM: It's gross. MARISHA: It's great exercise. TRAVIS: Like, our speed on the water is the same as if we were on solid ground? TALIESIN: Yeah. MATT: Correct, for the next hour. LIAM: Look at that creature approach. TALIESIN: No drowning. LAURA: Wait, wait, wait, I'm going to-- I'm going to use Divine Intervention. SAM: Oh! MATT: You're going to use Divine Intervention? LAURA: Yeah. MATT: Okay, go ahead and roll. LAURA: How do I do it? MATT: You roll 2d10. Or a percentile dice. A d10 and a percentile dice. And you are trying to roll a 12 or under. LIAM: We need the Traveler drop kicking out of the ocean. LAURA: Which one is the first? Oh, okay, the percentile is the first number? MATT: It's the first number, the first digit, yes. TRAVIS: The old Atomic Elbow. LIAM: Come on, Traveler. I believe in you. LAURA: Oh yeah, no. (laughter) LAURA: I rolled a 95. (laughter) TRAVIS: The opposite. LAURA: He's definitely not coming. MATT: As you clutch onto your holy symbol, looking off to the horizon, desperately wishing for the Traveler's attention, a voice just goes, "I'm terribly sorry. "I'm really busy." LAURA: (groans) MATT: "But soon, sorry!" TRAVIS: I'm afraid nothing good can come of this. We might as well try and buy ourselves some time. We should set full speed ahead and try and go as fast as possible to give ourselves time to prepare for this, any way we can, so-- MARISHA: Is that the direct order, Captain? TRAVIS: Yes, actually-- MARISHA: (hollering) Full speed ahead! LIAM: Ooh! MATT: Okay. TRAVIS: First Mate, you'll stay with me. The rest of the crew will engage. So the other four, Orly, Marius, Gallan, and Delles, will all join you, but we're going to be going as quickly as possible. The Boatswain will help exhort a crew to work harder and drive a ship forward. So I'll roll a d6 and multiply the result by five, and we'll apply that bonus to the ship speed, which is a flat, because we're not with or against the wind, 35 feet per turn. MATT: Okay. ASHLEY: Hello, sir! LAURA: I know! Go Captain Tusktooth. MARISHA: Before he does that-- Er, sorry, go ahead and do your thing. I was going to bust out the fan, the wind Mortal Kombat fan, and give us a nice burst of wind-- MATT: A burst of speed? MARISHA: As we go. MATT: Okay, cool. All right, so as you, (whooshes) and create that one column of wind blasting into the back of the sail, it manages to give it a little bit of a push, a magical nudge, if you will. TRAVIS: That went as well as it could. It was a six times five, which is 30, so 65 feet is our speed. MATT: Okay, so with that, as you all push the sails, (whooshes) unfurling, trying to catch as much of the wind as possible, at an angle, you feel the ship lurch a little bit more in the direction you're trying to go. It cuts a little bit of an angle towards the straight direction it was traveling, because it's just the nature of the wind itself coming at the odd angle it is. But between that and with Beau's helping, it does gain a little bit of speed. Caduceus? TALIESIN: I have a question. How big is this turtle? MATT: From what you can see, because you can't see the full shape of it. You only see maybe about 20% of it, that's breaking the surface, and you could see the the shape of the shadow of it, before it all just vanishes beneath the waves, and you can see, occasionally, the giant clawed flippers, underneath the water, (gurgles), and the wake being left behind it. But you're guessing it's somewhere in the neighborhood of about 40-ish feet, from side to side. SAM: Whoa. TRAVIS: Cool. LAURA: How big is our ship from side to side? TRAVIS: We are 90 feet by 25 feet. MATT: Yep. LAURA: Oh, okay, okay. MATT: Yeah, it is wider than your ship. LAURA: And as long as half of our ship. MATT: Mm-hmm. LAURA: Wow. TALIESIN: Okay. I'm going to take this opportunity to just sort of, eh, let's cast Whirlpool right on that bugger. SAM: Whoa! MATT: Okay! TRAVIS: Oh. MATT: What's the range on Whirlpool? SAM: We're attacking. TALIESIN: It's not an attack. MATT: No, I know, what's the range on it, though? LIAM: It's a swirly. TALIESIN: It's 300 feet. MATT: Okay, yeah, you can definitely catch it. TRAVIS: It's a "what you make of it." MARISHA: Yeah, yeah (laughs). SAM: Wee! MARISHA: Water parks are fun. LIAM: (warbles) TALIESIN: It's going to slow him down. TRAVIS: Yeah. MATT: Now, Whirlpool, what level spell is that? TALIESIN: Fourth. MATT: 4th-level, okay. Now what does it do? TALIESIN: Let's see. It's 50 feet square. And the vortex is five feet wide. And any creature or object in the water within 25 feet of the vortex, which is, so it's 70 feet, is pulled 10 feet towards it. So it pulls him 10 feet back. And the only way you can swim away is by making a strength check against my spell DC. MATT: Spell DC. ASHLEY: And he dies instantly. LIAM: (like Stefon from SNL) The Lucidian Ocean's greatest attraction is the Vortex. (laughter) MARISHA: Tuesdays is Turtles Night. SAM: (like Stefon) It's got everything. LIAM: This place has everything. (laughter) MATT: So to that point, as you guys all begin to scatter to your places on the ship, after you get your orders from Captain, over here, you go ahead and summon this swirling whirlpool right in front of this dragon turtle's current trajectory. As it does, the water (hisses) careens around it, and you watch it push in, and it gets pulled back a bit. Between the benefits you guys are doing, you actually prevent it from gaining on you, this round. TALIESIN: It also has to make a strength saving throw. MATT: Well, that's a-- I'm not joking, a natural 20. TALIESIN: That's fine. That's just to not take bludgeoning damage. MATT: Yeah, so it doesn't take any bludgeoning damage, and is it's a strength check to try and escape from it? TALIESIN: It isn't caught, but it's still in it. MATT: Okay, 26 is what it rolls, so I'm pretty sure it breaks out of the whirlpool. TRAVIS: 26 strength check. LAURA: Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. TALIESIN: It's not out of it, depending on its speed, it's not out of it yet, because it has to be-- MATT: It got pulled 10 feet towards it, and at its speed, going full speed towards you, it does manage to make its way out. TALIESIN: Okay, never mind. MATT: It's moving pretty quickly. Just eyeballing it, it's traveling about 80 feet a round. TALIESIN: Okay, because that's 75 feet, to get away from it. Or, actually, no, if it was on the other side of it, that's more than 75 feet. So it's 100 feet, technically. MATT: Right. TRAVIS: We're about five feet per turn faster than it-- MATT: We'll say it's still on the cusp of it. TALIESIN: All right, that's fine. MATT: It's still in there. Next round, I'll make another check for it. TALIESIN: All right. MATT: Sure. TALIESIN: I know it ain't going to work. MATT: Nevertheless, now, we go into the initiative order between the ship and the dragon turtle. So I would like you to roll initiative for the ship, if you don't mind. TRAVIS: Yeah, not a problem, not a problem, not a problem. MATT: So it's the dexterity modifier of the ship plus your-- TRAVIS: Which is four. MATT: Ship's crew quality bonus, which is five. TRAVIS: So, nine. LAURA: Plus... TRAVIS: 13, so 22. SAM: Okay. MATT: Your dex modifier is, for the ship, the dex is four. The modifier is minus three. TRAVIS: Oh, fucking balls, right, so that would be only a two, so 15. MATT: 15? 15? TRAVIS: What does that mean? The higher dex? MATT: That means you guys are going at the same time. I'll say roll one more time to see just who nudges out on this. TRAVIS: 14, just flat 14. MATT: Flat 14? TRAVIS: No modifiers. MATT: All right, 11. TRAVIS: Okay. SAM: Hey! LAURA: (pants) ASHLEY: Okay, okay. TRAVIS: Well done, well done. SAM: First victory. MATT: So you guys are just barely ahead of it. TRAVIS: (hollering) Master Gunner! SAM: Yes, Captain Tusktooth! TRAVIS: I need you to prepare three people per cannon. That is how we will be able to fire a cannon each action, but only two of our four cannons per side. SAM: This is a lot of math. MARISHA: Do we have that many people on the ship? TRAVIS: You stay with me. MARISHA: Okay. SAM: You have four people doing full speed ahead, right now. TRAVIS: Mm-hmm. SAM: So that leaves the people-- LAURA: Here? SAM: Here, to help me with my cannonry. TRAVIS: Full Speed Ahead was only for one turn. We'd have to do it, each turn. SAM: Yeah, but you need those four people to do it, each turn, right? TRAVIS: Not anymore. MARISHA: You also have Gallan, Orly, Shelda, and Marius. TRAVIS: We made five feet on him, that turn. If I didn't roll a six, which is what I rolled, the highest, he's going to gain each turn, so we need to start getting ready. If you're cool with it, the ship has, the hull has 500 hit points. So I think we need to fight from that. SAM: "If you're cool with it?" You're the captain. Tell us what to do! TRAVIS: No, this is me, Travis, talking. SAM: No, you're the captain! TRAVIS: We're going to go down fighting! SAM: Yes! TRAVIS: Okay. LIAM: What's the rough distance, did we say, between us and it? TRAVIS: 200 feet. LAURA: But can the cannons do more damage than spells against him? TRAVIS: It depends. LIAM: No. TRAVIS: It can do 8d10 bludgeoning damage, if it hits. LAURA: That's great. TRAVIS: If it hits. ASHLEY: Wait, how many cannons are on this side? SAM: If it hits? It'll hit. MATT: Four cannons on each side. SAM: My crew is tip-top. TRAVIS: It's only a plus six to hit. Maybe I'll make you roll for the cannon fire. MATT: To shoot a cannon every round, it needs three people manning it, because one person to load, one person to aim, and one person to actually fire. SAM: How many cannons do we have? MATT: Four on each side. TRAVIS: We have four on each side, but we can only operate two per round, and I figure, because we used Control Water, the last time we had a chance to engage, and we haven't really don't it, let's just fucking try it, and if it starts to go shitty, then we can break up and go individually. MATT: Now, as a note too, to fire cannons from the side of the ship, when you're going forward, you have to turn. TRAVIS: I know. MATT: So just make sure you're aware of that. LAURA: Oh no! TRAVIS: They don't come out, and automatically (whirring)? (laughter) MATT: Unfortunately, it's not Hupperdook-made. TRAVIS: Okay. SAM: Captain, should I Pack the Good Powder? TRAVIS: Not yet, because you have to be really, really close. MATT: Not yet. SAM: All right. By the way, I might say that you're taking a sense of commanding in this. It's very, it's sort of turning me on, a little bit. TRAVIS: It's just all urine, below this table. LAURA: Hey, Veth. SAM: What, what? LAURA: Fucking get to the cannons. SAM: Oh, well, okay, I'm sorry. I was just complimenting the captain, ooh! (laughter) TALIESIN: Spicy. MATT: All right. SAM: All right, so I'll go down and take, I guess, the crew. Can I take the crew? TRAVIS: Our range, so you know, is 120 feet. Anything farther than that, we're at disadvantage. So we got to get them closer, right. That's why we bought the round for, so you'll have time to move to the cannons, three per cannon. SAM: Can I take the crew, or do you need them to do full speed ahead? TRAVIS: You can take all four of the crew, and it's just the First Mate and I are going to stay out here. ASHLEY: I'll come with. LAURA: All of us will. TRAVIS: When we get in range, we'll move to Fire at Will, which means she or I will join you, and it'll give us a bonus on one of those shots. But we'll prep them. SAM: Okay. MATT: Just for the purposes of, I've set up an arrangement here, so we know where everyone is in the ship. We're going in a similar set-up here. So you're sending the crew down into the-- SAM: Wow! MATT: -- the cannon deck. SAM: Look at these-- LAURA: What if he eats the side of the boat, and we're all underwater? Oh, good thing we can breathe. SAM: And walk. ASHLEY: We can breathe and walk. MATT: And as well as Veth is heading down into the-- TRAVIS: This is all conceptual. We've never done this before. MATT: And Yasha's going down, as well? ASHLEY: I'm going down, too. SAM: So we'll take two cannons. ASHLEY: Four-- MATT: All right. ASHLEY: We have four crew and then you and me. That's enough to-- SAM: Yeah. ASHLEY: Two cannons? SAM: Yeah. MATT: You got it, okay. Where are the rest of you? LAURA: Should we help with the cannons? SAM: No, we're okay. LAURA: Or should we be on the deck? SAM: You just stay on deck. TRAVIS: If the First Mate would stay at the bridge that goes down to the galley, just so I have eyesight with you-- MARISHA: Copy. TRAVIS: -- and I'll stay at the helm. LAURA: Then me and you, Caleb, can-- LIAM: Yeah. MATT: So you're staying up here? LAURA: -- use spells. You too, Caduceus? TALIESIN: Yeah. MARISHA: I'll be the walkie-talkie. LIAM: Improvise. TALIESIN: I'll stay near the bottom, near the stairs. That's right, stairs. MATT: Are you at the helm? All right, cool. LAURA: I'm going to stay near the side. MATT: Spinning the wheel as Fjord's looking over, shouting orders. Caduceus? SAM: Why are you turning so much? TRAVIS: Isn't this how you drive in the movies? LIAM: Whoa, whoa! MATT: Where are you guys? LAURA: We're at the side of the boat. LIAM: Yeah, facing towards the turtle. TRAVIS: Serpentine, serpentine! MATT: Right now, the turtle's behind you guys, like back this way. TALIESIN: One on either side. LIAM: Then leaning out over the side, looking back-- MATT: Okay, so you guys look off this way. LIAM: I like turtles. MATT: And Caduceus, you would've been up here, when you first noticed it. TALIESIN: Sure. MATT: So do you want to move back down to the side, or do you want to stay up here? TALIESIN: I'll stay up there, for now, and keep an eye. LAURA: And then I'll be on the opposite side of Caleb, just to-- TRAVIS: Beau, after this round of attacks, you'll move down to the cannon, and we'll do a Fire at Will. MARISHA: Okay. TRAVIS: Because he has to be close. MARISHA: Okay, copy that. LAURA: I'll be on the other side. MATT: Other side, you got it. All right, Jester is on this side. SAM: Captain, which side of the cannonry should we prepare, the starboard or port? Captain! TRAVIS: Let's do (sighs), let's do starboard. SAM: That's the right side, Yasha! ASHLEY: Okay. TRAVIS: I'm right-handed, so fuck it. MARISHA: He peeks at his cheat sheet, in the back of his flask. TALIESIN: Just whatever brings it to the wind, I suppose would be the way to go. MATT: Nevertheless, you've taken-- so for this next turn, as you've done-- after this, you're setting people into their different locations. Everyone's scattering to their places. All right, so everyone gets to their places. TRAVIS: And actually, if I'm reading this right, Fire at Will grants advantage on the next attack roll, not this one, right, because we have to get into place? MATT: Correct. TRAVIS: So, Beau, let's go ahead and Fire at Will-- MARISHA: Okay. TRAVIS: -- for the next round. MARISHA: Okay. TRAVIS: Because he'll close within that-- I think, he'll close within that 120-foot distance. MARISHA: Okay. Come on, bitches! Man your cannons! TRAVIS: The first mate will be joining the first of the two cannons. MATT: Okay, you got it. So as you guys all situate, you now watch as the ship begins to slow from that first round of immediate forceful push of movement. The dragon turtle itself begins to increase its speed as best as it can. The sides of the wake, the water itself, is now starting to (hisses) spray up at the sides of its shell, as it seems to be rising up more and more, and you're getting a better view of just the intense mass of this creature, but it just takes its turn, just careening towards you, double move, and it's gaining. MARISHA: Oh jeez. MATT: So now we come back to the ship's next round. So that closes it. You're able to move that round-- TRAVIS: Yeah, Fire at Will was the first action. Second action is the turn. So we're starting to turn towards starboard. MATT: Correct, so you guys are turning and heading over towards starboard, which will put you in this direction there. And we'll shift it like this, because it's fun to do that. TRAVIS and TALIESIN: (screeching) TALIESIN: Drift. MARISHA: Yeah. MATT: (laughs) And that brings you to, not a stop, but you guys coast. TRAVIS: Oh yeah. MATT: So with the speed of it, per round, is-- TRAVIS: 35. MATT: 35? TRAVIS: Unassisted, without-- yeah. No wind, right? Turning doesn't put us in one or the other? MATT: Turning this direction, if you're going to this side-- TRAVIS: Oh, shit, I should've checked which way the wind was fucking-- MATT: Yeah. You did not check that. SAM: (laughs) MATT: But it doesn't (laughs). TRAVIS: Eh, who gives a shit? SAM: You're not the navigator. Orly is. TRAVIS: Well, that's true. MATT: No, but it puts you in the direction of the wind. LAURA: Oh good! MATT: So it's not coming against you. TALIESIN: Oh, I meant to do that. MATT: If you'd gone to the port side, it would've been against you. You got lucky, for not checking. TRAVIS: So the speed's 50 now? MATT: Correct. TRAVIS: Okay. MATT: When it moves on its turn. TRAVIS: Right, right, thank you. MATT: So you were at 200, end of last round. It's going to roll to try and pull out of the vortex that you left. That is a 19. Is it your spell DC? TALIESIN: It's 17. MATT: So yeah. So it does manage to escape from it, but you did slow it a little bit. TALIESIN: Yeah. MATT: It gains an additional 80 feet on you, which brings it to 120. You guys move, with the rotation turn there, I'd say 15 feet. So that brings it to 135 feet from you. TRAVIS: 135? MATT: Yeah. I'll put it at half speed because of the turn, as you went in that way. Back to your turn now, the ship's go. TRAVIS: So 135 feet, it's just without our-- MARISHA: It's just outside our range. TRAVIS: Just outside of our range. Are we perfectly perpendicular to it? MATT: You are now, yes. TRAVIS: We are? Fucking light it up. SAM: Remember, everyone, don't fire until you hear the proper chain of command. It has to go Fjord, first. Then it goes to our first mate, then to me, then to Yasha. Then we do the command. TRAVIS: Okay. ASHLEY: Copy. TRAVIS: First mate, light it up! MARISHA: Fire at will! LIAM: Ooh! SAM: Fire at will. ASHLEY: (uncertain) Firing. (laughter) MATT: You watch, rapidly, as the rest of your crew loads up two cannonballs, one into each of the starboard-side cannons, that you guys are currently manning. On opposite ends of it, other crew help pull and aim it, as you get it towards the direction of this massive creature. (heavy swimming) LAURA: Are you allowed to cast spells? MATT: Just sprays of water. We'll get to that in just a second. LAURA: Okay! TRAVIS: Quiet. MATT: As it emerges, you all (sizzling). (explosion) The cannons come flying back about 10 or so feet from the blast impact of it, and Yasha, make a strength check, if you want to. ASHLEY: If I want to? SAM: She's fucking holding a cannon. MATT: Yeah, if you want to try and keep it at bay. ASHLEY: 'Cause I was like, nah. MATT: Maybe if you'd let it go. ASHLEY: Ah, shit, it's cocked. Oh, oh, this is good, okay. (groans) Oh boy, math, 27, total. SAM: Oh wow! MATT: 27! ASHLEY: Yeah. TALIESIN: Wow. MATT: Whew! TRAVIS: Fuck. MATT: That was a strength-- ASHLEY: Wait, hold on a second. MATT: Strength check? ASHLEY: Nope, apologies. 22, 22! MATT: 22, still really good. ASHLEY: Sorry. MATT: So as one cannon rolls back, 10 feet, and, Veth, you have to, like, step aside real fast, as you guys begin to push it back into place. Yasha, you take the brunt of it, in your chest. Your feet dig into the already partially splintered floor from the previous battle that the ship had endured. And as you dig in and push back, you only go about three feet. You're, actually, heels digging about three inches into the wood, as it's splintering behind you, and you stop-- ASHLEY: (grunts) MATT: -- in your tracks and push it right back to the entrance of the gun port. LIAM: Flex! ASHLEY: (booming sound) TRAVIS: So one cannon will get advantage on its fire. The second one's a straight roll. SAM: Who's rolling? MATT: You guys are firing, so you guys roll. Which one of you is taking advantage? SAM: You take advantage. ASHLEY: Why? SAM: I'm, I-- ASHLEY: Okay. SAM: I'm an expert cannoneer. TRAVIS: Let's dominate the situation. MATT: The bonus to this is plus-- TRAVIS: Six. MATT: So plus six to the roll. ASHLEY: Okay. 23. TRAVIS: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Yeah, plus six, yeah. MATT: Plus six. ASHLEY: 23. SAM: 11! MATT: So the blast of the cannon, the reason it shot back so hard on Nott's side was it was a little bit too well packed, and the flare on the blast of the flame and the actual firing of the cannon was too strong, and as such, it goes wide. You watch it actually overshoot the creature and then vanish (splashes) into the ocean behind. SAM: Goddamn it, Marius! MATT and LAURA: (laugh) MATT: However, you do notice that you Yasha's does (explosion) impact and explode across the outside of his shell. TRAVIS: Whoa, good hit! MATT: You can go ahead and roll damage on that one, which is-- TRAVIS: 8d10. LAURA and ASHLEY: 8d10?! MATT: 8d10 bludgeoning damage. LAURA: What, what! TRAVIS: We might as well. This ship's our baby. We're going to ride or die. LAURA: Yeah. ASHLEY: I haven't rolled a 10 in a minute. SAM: First mate, P to RL! MARISHA: P, uh-- SAM: Permission to reload! MARISHA: Uh, of course! Fucking-- you don't need my permission. TRAVIS: (laughing) P to RL! Is that a real thing? SAM: No, I just made it up. Chain of command, chain of command! MARISHA: Real words here! SAM: It's boat talk! TRAVIS: I don't know that terminology! SAM: It's boat talk! (laughter) TRAVIS: Oh shit. TALIESIN: Oh boy. SAM: Marius, reload. And do it better this time. ASHLEY: Oh, nice. SAM: Nice! TALIESIN: Nice. SAM: Must be 69 points. ASHLEY: 53! SAM: Oh, whoa! MATT: Nice. SAM: That's great! MATT: 53 points of bludgeoning damage to the dragon turtle. (explosion) It impacts. You can see bits of the outer shell itself splinter and crack, and shards flying off from the impact. The cannonball itself, you see, after it blasts into it, is actually wedged in the shell now. It's stuck in it. There is smoke billowing out the front of it, but you push it back into place. Marius is like, "All right, I'm trying! Come on!" And he's going to load it back in. So that's the two attack actions that turn. TRAVIS: It is. MATT: Your ship is now perpendicular, and while the wind is going with it, it's only trailing at 50 miles per hour in that direction. SAM: 50 miles an hour. MATT: At a perpendicular rate. It is now the dragon turtle's turn. It's going to take an 80-foot movement action. LAURA: Oh, but I wanted to cast a spell. LIAM: Yeah. MATT: Yep. So you guys? LIAM: Mm-hmm. MATT: Generally, it's, like, ship combat goes back and forth between things, but because we have casters on board, what do you guys want to do? LIAM: What's the distance, roughly, right now? MATT: Right now, it's about 135 feet, if you're taking your turn. LAURA: I wanted-- LIAM: No, we're, go. You go. LAURA: I wanted to cast-- after seeing Caduceus do it, I wanted to cast a Whirlpool, in front of the turtle as well, to keep it from ramming the boat. MATT: Okay, cool, all right. So it is a strength saving throw? LAURA: Yes. SAM: Oh, Fjord, should I Pack the Good Powder? TRAVIS: Not yet. SAM: Goddamn it. TRAVIS: It's only a 1d10, extra bludgeoning damage. If we roll a one or two-- MATT: 22. TRAVIS: -- it kills the cannon. LAURA: 17. MATT: Okay, so it doesn't take any bludgeoning damage. LAURA: But it slows him down. MATT: But it does pull him 10 feet towards it, which will slow its advancement by 10 feet. LAURA: Okay. MATT: And it has to make a check to try and escape it, next round. LIAM: We've already blasted, right, with cannons? Yeah, sure. MATT: That lowers its movement there by 10, and what are you doing? LIAM: Caleb slaps some sulfur and batshit together and pulls his hands apart, and a 5th-level Fireball pulls out between his hands, and I'm going to lob it. It is 150-foot distance towards the dragon turtle. That is a dex save. MATT: You got it. TRAVIS: I love that you low-key asked if we were going to, like, mix it up. We shot it with a cannon, right? Okay, (claps) oh fuck it! (laughter) SAM: Nuclear weapon. MATT: 16! TRAVIS: Doctor Manhattan. LIAM: Fail, it's a failure. MATT: All right, so go ahead and do damage. LIAM: That is... ♪ Do, doo, doo, dah, doo, dah, la, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo ♪ I lost it. Where did you go? I lost it, I lost it. Okay, so it's 8d6. ASHLEY: Oh! TRAVIS: I think. I mean, we're in the water, so-- LIAM: Okay, here we go, 10d6. Two, 12, 18, 22, 26, 30, 36, 42 points of fire damage. TRAVIS: Nice! MATT: 42. All righty. SAM: It'll be dead before it gets to us. MATT: The fireball blasts on its shell. TRAVIS: You shut up (laughs). MATT: Seems to not have as much impact as you had hoped. SAM: Aw! LIAM: But a little impact. MATT: A little impact. LIAM: Got it. MATT: But the dark burn mark on it, the shell beneath it is pretty solid and holding in place. LIAM: Understood. TRAVIS: Not a deep impact. Kind of an impact. MATT: Yeah. LIAM: Yeah, maybe avoid fire. TRAVIS: Okay. MATT: All right. Now coming to its turn, that's double movement at 70 feet gained, because of the whirlpool. That puts it at-- LAURA: Does it have to make a save to get out of the whirlpool? MATT: It doesn't make it completely out of the range, because of the distance to get through that. So it has to do that next round. TALIESIN: But if it starts its turn in the whirlpool, it has to make that save as well. MATT: It does, as well? TALIESIN: Yeah. LIAM: I love the boats battles! MATT: 19. SAM: So cool. MATT: It's awesome. All right, sorry. My brain is not used to math. TRAVIS: This page is so intense. There's so much on here. ASHLEY: Wait, turn it around. Not that I could see it. A lot going on there. MATT: All right. It gets within 65 feet of the ship, which now means you can see it. ALL: Ooh! TRAVIS: (laughs) Oh no! MARISHA: Oh, he's so cute! TRAVIS: I don't want it! LAURA: He is really cute, though. TRAVIS: I don't like it! MARISHA: Oh! TALIESIN: Oh no. SAM: But that's just-- LIAM: He's so big. SAM: That's just a turtle. That's, like, an actual turtle. TRAVIS: That's like Squirt from Finding Nemo. LAURA: Oh, he's just really big. TRAVIS: Noggin! LAURA: Maybe he's nice. TRAVIS: Oh lord. LAURA: Not anymore. LIAM: We shot him up. MATT: Yep, 65 feet. So you can now see it currently coming towards the ship, and as it's coming to this level, you see it beginning to submerge beneath the water. TRAVIS: Can dragon turtles, can they talk? Okay. MATT: I don't know. You guys shot it with cannonballs. It hasn't had a chance to converse yet. LAURA: Oh no. MATT: But it is now going beneath the water. LIAM: I say, old chap, would you stop firing at me? (laughter) LAURA: He did seem angry, though, when he came up and out. TRAVIS: It was his face. He had a real-- LAURA: He has the angry eyebrows. MATT: Yeah, angry eyebrows. MARISHA: Drawn on with Sharpie. MATT: It is about 10 feet beneath the water's surface now. The actual-- its shell is now below the water, and you can see the water bubbling up over it from the displacement. TRAVIS: Would I know, from my years of sailing, if 10 feet of water does anything to a cannonball fired into it? MATT: It might. LAURA: (groans) TRAVIS: Okay. Cool. MATT: I mean, cannonballs are pretty big, and there's a lot of heft behind it. It is pretty close. It may or may not. It's right on that cusp, 10 feet, with that much force. It's a lot of water to displace, though, to get to its target, so you won't know until you try. Nevertheless, it's now back to the ship and the party's turn. So what do you want to do? TRAVIS: We're going to empty both cannons at it, again. No Fire at Will, because you have to do it on the previous turn. MARISHA: Copy. TRAVIS: Go for it. SAM: Awaiting orders. MARISHA: Hit 'em again! SAM: Light 'em up! ASHLEY: Here we go! (laughter) MATT: Loading the cannons back up, both of you guys take shots with disadvantage. ASHLEY: Disadvantage? TRAVIS: I thought it was within 120. Is he beyond 120? MATT: It's because he's under the water. LAURA: Is he fully under? MATT: He's about 10 feet below the surface. LAURA: (blows raspberry) SAM: That would be a natural one. MATT: Ah! MARISHA: Jeez. ASHLEY: 17. MATT: 17, okay. Both of the cannons fire off and, boom, boom, big sprays into the ocean, but no impact on the target. ASHLEY: Goddamn it! SAM: Dammit. MARISHA: That was an awesome splash, though. SAM: It was. MARISHA: That was dope. LAURA: Uh-oh! This is going to go real bad. ASHLEY: Maybe it was a good distraction. SAM: Yeah, maybe, maybe. It certainly looks cool in slow motion. P to RL? MARISHA: Yes. SAM: Reload! TRAVIS: Seeing that not how-- I'm also going to just shout out: Brace! Just because it seems like it's going low and approaching. I know they have their turns, but just so people are aware of the shit above their heads. MATT: No worries. Caduceus, everyone else? TALIESIN: Is it within 60 feet, at this point? MATT: From you, right now, on that side, no. It is about 80 feet from you. TALIESIN: I'm happy to go down, move as close as I can to-- MATT: Okay, it's 65 feet from the boat, so it's about 65 feet from you, as close as you can get to it. TALIESIN: 65 is as close as I can get to it? MATT: Yes, because anything more, you're in the water. TALIESIN: (sighs) That's too far. LAURA: (laughs) TALIESIN: That makes me unhappy. TRAVIS: You want me to throw out the parachute, and we'll just slow down a little bit? TALIESIN: Man. All right, I'm going to-- okay, I'm going to try something else. If I use Redirect Flow, can I make the boat suddenly move faster? LAURA: Well, we're stopped, right? MATT: You guys have spun, and you fired, and the wind's starting to pick up, so it does get to move a little bit, on its turn, but it's not... Well, actually, for the actions there, you have the two actions are--? TRAVIS: We fired both cannons. MATT: Correct. TRAVIS: But you can also turn or do other things. But we haven't turned, because we're still where we need to be. MATT: Right, you guys are still there. So I'd say, for right now, you're just coasting with the wind, which is 15 feet. TRAVIS: 50, if we're with. MATT: Right, because you're with it there. So it'd be, yeah, so it'd be 50 feet. You're just going in that direction, after the turn. TRAVIS: And he's just doing... MATT: Yeah, so you're turning around it a bit. TALIESIN: Hmm, okay, so that really... LAURA: (laughs) TALIESIN: So I wouldn't be able to speed this up, really, at this point. TRAVIS: Yeah, I don't think we're trying to outrun anything. TALIESIN: All right, I'm just going to hold on, and I'm going to hold a spell until... He's-- well, no, I can do it now. I'm going to try and just sideswipe him so that he misses the boat, so that he's no longer on course towards us-- TRAVIS: A little Hunt for Red October. TALIESIN: -- with the Redirect Flow, under the water. ASHLEY: Tight. MATT: Okay, so you're using Redirect Flow? TALIESIN: Yeah. MATT: Okay. TALIESIN: So... yeah. TRAVIS: Close the distance. TALIESIN: So yeah, I can just make water within 300 feet go in whichever direction I want, and I'm going to just try and-- I'm not going to do it directly. I'm just going to try and sideswipe it. MATT: What level spell is it? TALIESIN: That's a 4th-level spell. MATT: 4th-level spell. LAURA: It's Control Water. TALIESIN: It's Control Water. MATT: Oh, it's Control Water. I was like, what is Redirect Flow? SAM: Redirect Flow, you know. TALIESIN: It's one of the subsets. MATT: One of the subsets. I was looking for the spell "Redirect Flow." MATT: I was like, I don't remember that spell. LIAM: You know how Caduceus do. LAURA: Did she send that tonight? Oh (laughs). TRAVIS: What is wrong with his hair? MATT: Okay. Uh-- So as-- okay, so you as you move the water beneath the surface, the Redirect Flow, you're not certain it's going to have much of an impact yet. You can't quite see, as it is just starting to careen with that, in a sense, but you feel the water flow direct, going in that direction. TALIESIN: Trying to throw him off. MATT: You got it. Next up. TALIESIN: And grabbing hold, grabbing hold. LIAM: Caleb will just prepare with a raven feather in hand, will cast Fly and hover up and hold on to the sail, just to move with the ship, as it goes. MATT: Okay, so you will then head up into here. LIAM: Yeah. MATT: Okay, you got it. LIAM: Holding the sail and just hovering in the air. MATT: You got it. LAURA: I'm going to cast-- I don't know if this goes through the water, but I can't imagine why it wouldn't, Guiding Bolt, at level five. MATT: Go for it. Go ahead and roll an attack now. That, indeed, is not halted by the flow of water. SAM: Yeah. ASHLEY: Get to it. LAURA: I have too many dice to choose from, right now, and I'm freaking out. TALIESIN: I'm an idiot. TRAVIS: It's finally happened! MATT: Bailey problems. TRAVIS: Just a few. LAURA: (gasps) 28! MATT: 28 hits. LIAM: Ooh. ASHLEY: Ooh! TRAVIS: Have we established what its AC is yet, ish? LAURA: No, we haven't. TALIESIN: No idea. LAURA: So that is 8d6 damage. MATT: Nice, and the next attack against it has-- LAURA: Gets advantage. MATT: -- advantage. SAM: Nice. TALIESIN: What kind of damage? MATT: Radiant. TALIESIN: Nice. LIAM: God damage. MATT: (laughs) God damage! TRAVIS: That means even a cannon shot would have advantage? MATT: Yeah, whatever the next attack on it is. TRAVIS: That'll change what you do. ASHLEY: Wait, what are the cannons, 23? What is it, 24? LIAM: It's been a void in my life. TALIESIN: Oh man. LIAM: Now it's back. LAURA: 35 points of radiant damage. MATT: 35 points of radiant damage, nice. So as you look over the edge, and for this, yeah, you peek over, right as it's going beneath the surface, and the bubbling of water starting to transition over the shell, as it begins to vanish into the dark depth below, you put your hands out and release this bolt of divine, Traveler-guided energy that gets brighter and brighter as it just scoots into the water. It splashes back and (whooshes) like a depth charge, (explosion) beneath the water. LAURA: Cool. MATT: For a second as it a blasts, you see the entire outline of the creature, and for the first time, you really see how massive this creature is. As there is this sparkling energy that is currently encircling its entire body, giving it this glowing halo, beneath the water. LAURA: It's a pink halo. It's really beautiful. ASHLEY: It's beautiful. TALIESIN: Oh, it looks great. ASHLEY: Wow. MATT: Well done. LIAM: (whispering) I missed this. MATT: All right. Me too. ASHLEY: Yeah, me too. MATT: So I think that everyone's done their turn-- SAM: I was doing cannon stuff. Can I also cast a spell on myself or-- MATT: No, your action was to fire, yeah. SAM: That's fine. MATT: All right, now it is the turtle's turn. You guys move 50 feet this way. At the trajectory it's at, I'll say that adds about 25 feet to the distance that you're at, which puts it at 85. TRAVIS: It's going to change. We're going to change it up. LAURA: Oh god. MATT: It's going to continue to disappear beneath the water. You can just barely see it, but it is currently-- LAURA: Did it fully escape the whirlpool? MATT: It does need to check for that. That is, oh man... 25. LAURA: (sadly) Yeah. MATT: It's got a high strength bonus. I'm sorry. ASHLEY: "Yeah." LAURA: "Yeah." MATT: It's rolling really well on that. TALIESIN: Man. TRAVIS: The distance from the boat, it's now-- MATT: You don't know. It is-- you can see-- Okay, actually, because of the glow, you do have an idea. It went down below, and it's now, like, as you guys have moved forward-- LAURA: Ooh! MARISHA: He's trying to get under the boat? MATT: It's now about there. MARISHA: He's under the boat! MATT: He's about five feet from the outside of the boat and about 25 feet below, right now. TALIESIN: Did the current have any effect, or is it having any-- MATT: It did not, unfortunately. TALIESIN: Oh well, it was worth a try. LAURA: I just feel bad for him. MATT: Redirect Flow is, for this, is just not powerful enough to stop a creature of this size, unfortunately. SAM: We scared him away, boys. TRAVIS: Can we see-- can I see, from my helm position, that he is no longer in line of sight of the cannons? MATT: Correct, you do see that, yeah. TRAVIS: Okay. Okay. Is it back to the boat's turn? MATT: It is. TRAVIS: Okay. First Mate? MARISHA: Yeah? TRAVIS: Gallan, Marius, Delles. MARISHA: Gallan, Marion, Delles. TRAVIS: And, Beau, I want you to run to the stern-side port cannon. No, actually, just Gallan, Marius, and Delles, stern-side port cannon, just one. Everybody else comes up-- MARISHA: Okay. TRAVIS: -- from the galley. MARISHA: You three assholes, that cannon. Everybody else, on the deck. SAM: Wait, who's the asshole on the cannon? TRAVIS: So you two are coming up. ASHLEY: We come up. Okay. TRAVIS: From the galley. SAM: With all due respect, I will not leave my post. ASHLEY: Let's go. SAM: Okay. (laughter) MATT: So Marius, Gallan, and-- TRAVIS: Marius, Gallan, and Delles are on that stern-side port cannon. MATT: All right, stern-side port cannon. TALIESIN: Good god. Ho, ho! MATT: All righty. TRAVIS: I'm sure there's a more efficient way of saying that. I just don't know. LIAM: I love Matt's giant hands on our view cam. SAM: Yeah. MATT: And the other are staying where? TRAVIS: Everybody else is coming up out of the galley of the ship. MATT: You got it. TRAVIS: As far as their speed'll let them move. MATT: At double speed, on their point, I'll say that can get them to the deck, without issue. Yasha coming up as well? ASHLEY: Yep. MATT: All righty, as well as Orly. TRAVIS: There's no reason to waste a cannon shot when we have advantage from Guiding Bolt. So there was no reason to do Fire at Will. Just get everybody else up, and you don't want to be under there when like-- MARISHA: Mm-hmm. LAURA: Yeah. MATT: Fair enough. MARISHA: He's about to Jaws start eating this boat. TRAVIS: Maybe. Right, if he continues around, then we'll open it back up again, but-- Fire that first cannon. MARISHA: Okay. Gallan, Marius, fire! LAURA: But do the cannonballs go underwater? TRAVIS: Mm-hmm. LAURA: They do? TRAVIS: Yeah, but disadvantage and advantage cancel each other out. So it's a straight shot. MATT: Okay, so if you want to roll for it then, Captain? TRAVIS: Oh, sure. Well, actually, the turtle hasn't moved to the port side yet, right? He's still-- MATT: Correct. TRAVIS: Right, so they've just finished the move. Then they'll just hold. MATT: Okay, they're just holding an action? TRAVIS: Yeah. MATT: You got it. So when it appears, it's to fire. TRAVIS: Correct. MATT: You got it. MARISHA: Fire when he appears! MATT: Everyone else? SAM: Fire when he appears. MATT: So-- TRAVIS: You got to swear, if you're the First Mate. They're not going to respect you, otherwise. MARISHA: You fucking douchebags! TRAVIS: Much better. TALIESIN: I'm going to try and hold an action until the turtle's within 60 feet. MATT: For Veth and Yasha, it took you guys, to get to the deck, your turn, of, like, double move to get up there. ASHLEY: Okay. MATT: But you guys got up there okay. SAM: Great. MATT: You're holding which one? TALIESIN: Holding a spell until the turtle's within 60 feet. MATT: What spell are you holding? TALIESIN: Command. LAURA: Oh, I was going to do the same thing (laughs)! MATT: All right, so we have two people holding Command, or-- LAURA: I mean, yeah, I would've done it, if I hadn't heard you say it. TALIESIN: Yeah, and I've got it, just because I can talk to animals. MATT: So you're both holding Command. TRAVIS: If you can see him, you can let it go. You can't see him? TALIESIN: It's a 60-foot-- LAURA: It's a 60-foot-- TALIESIN: Oh! Yeah, I don't think he's within 60 feet yet. TRAVIS: Is he within 60 feet? MATT: Currently, yes. TALIESIN: Oh! LAURA: Oh, go for it. TALIESIN: Then I'm casting Command. MATT: Okay, what are you commanding? TALIESIN: Flee. ASHLEY: What if that fucking worked? MARISHA: That would be amazing. TALIESIN: And I can talk to animals, so no matter what, there's not a language barrier. MATT: It's not an animal. TALIESIN: Oh! LIAM: It's a monster! LAURA: He's a turtle, though! TALIESIN: Oh. MATT: It's more dragon than turtle. TALIESIN: Oh, well, then-- Dragons speak Common anyway. MATT: What languages do you have? TALIESIN: Oh, man. TRAVIS: It's like a lion-fish. It's more a fish. TALIESIN: I have Common, Elvish, Giant, and Sylvan. MATT: What language do you speak it in? LIAM: You have to speak turtle, dude. TALIESIN: Common. MATT: Common? Okay. It doesn't seem to have any effect. LAURA: Oh! LIAM: Mm. SAM: Cowabunga. TALIESIN: Then I'm going to spend the rest of my action getting to the other side of the top of the deck and holding on. MATT: Okay. Holding on that side? TALIESIN: Yeah. MATT: All right. Jester, what are you doing? LAURA: I'm going to cast Guiding Bolt! At 4th-level! MATT: Okay, go for it. You have advantage on this attack roll because of your previous Guiding Bolt. LAURA: Yeah! ASHLEY: Fuck yeah! LAURA: 28 again! MATT: Yeah, that hits. Go ahead and roll some damage. LAURA: Ooh! SAM: Oh no, that ring on the turtle's back, is that, like, a six-pack soda can ring that someone didn't snip before they threw away? MARISHA: Oh no! (laughter) TALIESIN: Protect the oceans, you guys, come on. MATT: Our ecology message comes through in our battles. LAURA: 26. MATT: 26 points of radiant damage, nice. So even though it's vanished below, the second blast smashes into it, from your divine pink radiant energy, as it blasts a second time beneath the surface. The glow is maintained. TRAVIS: Yes! LAURA: Yay! SAM: Yeah! ASHLEY: Yes! MATT: All righty. SAM: Pink power. LIAM: Throw of dust in the air, lodestone in hand. Disintegrate. MATT: Disintegrate on it? LIAM: Yeah. MATT: All right. TRAVIS: Whoa. MATT: Go for it. SAM: He's using all the heavy spells. ASHLEY: Was ist das? MARISHA: Was ist Häagen-Dazs? SAM, ASHLEY, TALIESIN, and MARISHA: (laugh) LIAM: 73 total. MATT: Okay, that's a dex save, right? LIAM: Yeah, a dex save. MATT: All righty. That is-- 18. LIAM: Beats it. MATT: Okay, so it takes half damage. LIAM: 35, 36, 36 or 37. MATT: 37 points of damage. So after the blast beneath the surface of the water, (explosion) down below, you can see this suddenly hovering Caleb, holding on to the sail, reach over, lower his hand, and this beam just (hisses), this, like, weird, dull, green laser beam seems to just emit from the finger, for but a second, and at the surface of the water, a moment later, we haven't seen impact, but at the surface of the water, you see chunks of shell and brown foam, the same color of the turtle, begin to rise to the surface. TALIESIN: I'm a fan. TRAVIS: Okay. MATT: That finishes your turn. LAURA: Do sharks start showing up because of the chum? SAM: Chum in the water. ASHLEY: Nom nom nom. MATT: Let me tell you, sharks don't fuck with dragon turtles very often. So I can't say it's-- LAURA: Sharks are smart, though. MATT: -- probable, but we'll see. That finishes your turn. LIAM: I'm going to pass. SAM: Okay, here it comes. MATT: The dragon turtle vanishes beneath the surface. And you're not quite sure where it is. Everyone loses sight of it. Even with your glow, you can't see it. LAURA: Oh no. MATT: And there is a calm. There is a quiet, where everyone just holds still, and you hear just the waves. ASHLEY: I brace. MARISHA: Yeah. LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. LIAM: Scheiße. MATT: (explosion) The ship suddenly lurches heavily from underneath as something impacts it from the very bottom of the hull. The ship rises up 45 degrees into the air, (whooshes) before slamming on to the ocean there. LAURA: Oh no! MATT: What's the AC of the ship? TRAVIS: It is 15. The hull is 15. LAURA: That's it?! MATT: 15. All right, 30 to hit. SAM: Yeah, sure. MATT: 27 to hit. TRAVIS: Okay. MATT: And 23 to hit. TRAVIS: Sure, all three of whatever just happened hit. MATT: Okay. So first, from the impact, as it bites and slams from underneath-- LAURA: What are we, what are-- MARISHA: (laughs) ASHLEY: The ship has 500 hit points? TRAVIS: The hull has 500 hit points. ASHLEY: The hull has 500 hit points. TRAVIS: The hull, the helm, the sails, and the cannons all have different AC. LAURA: But if the hull is damaged, everything's gone. SAM: No, we'll still be fine. We still have the cannons. MARISHA: We can ride the cannons. TRAVIS: Yeah, just stick them between your legs and-- (explosion) MATT: 36 points of piercing damage from that impact. LIAM: Okay, okay. MATT: From its two claws, that then rake underneath. LAURA: Yeah. One claw aims at the cannons, though, because-- MATT: 24 points of slashing damage. MARISHA: Gah, gah, tink. LAURA: Shiny. MATT: Ooh, that's not good. 30 points of slashing damage. TRAVIS: Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. SAM: We're fine. It's 90 points. We're fine. TRAVIS: Yeah, we're at 410. MATT: So the ship slams back on to the ocean, and you hear the (squeaks) creaking sound of elements of the hull where the impact was just shifting. But it is now right alongside the back and is riding the rudder. TRAVIS: Dammit. LAURA: Just holding on? TRAVIS: I'm glad I got everybody up, then. So if you have any ranged shit, go to town. MATT: And it's going to use the last bit of its movement to begin to submerge once more. It only gets about 10 feet, though. TRAVIS: Okay, Guiding Bolt's still giving a little-- MATT: Yep, it still has its shimmer. But it is visible primarily from the very back of the ship, so you guys would have to-- SAM: Get over there. MATT: You can't, don't really have-- oh god, Caduceus, why? TALIESIN: Oh no! Long legs. MATT: In order to see it, you would have to be towards the back of the ship or on the very, very edges, peering off to the side. It is wide enough where you can see it from the very, very sides. SAM: Oh boy. TRAVIS: (reading) "Move up to the speed "of one of its moving components, with one 90-degree turn." So for the first action of the ship, we're going to turn 90 degrees port. LAURA: I don't envy-- MATT: Okay, 90 degrees port side. LAURA: -- being the captain. TRAVIS: We're going to try and bring that port-side cannon back into range. MATT: Okay. LIAM: We're just the wild cards. MATT: That'll put it about there. TRAVIS: Yep. LAURA: (nervous noise) LIAM: Oh jeez. TRAVIS: And we only have one cannon to fire, so, everybody, get ready and fucking Get Some. MARISHA: All right. TRAVIS: No, that's the command, to Get Some. MARISHA: Oh, oh, fucking Get Some! Fucking fire! SAM: But I think we loaded the starboard cannons. MARISHA: No, the port, the port. MARISHA: Port, assholes! MATT: No, the port quarter, yeah, yeah. You guys are on top, but there is one cannon, down below, that can be fired. MARISHA: Not you, you're useless, Veth. Gallan, go! MATT: All right, so they go ahead and load it up, aim (explosion), fire towards it. TRAVIS: Do you want to roll for the cannon? MARISHA: Okay. LAURA: Right in the mouth! Right into the mouth. MARISHA: What do I do? LAURA: Natural 20. MATT: Because it is 10 feet beneath the surface, it has disadvantage on the attack, but thanks to your Guiding Bolt, it has advantage, so it's just a singular roll plus six. MARISHA: Plus six. Oh, ew, 12, total, I rolled a six. MATT: (splashing) Into the water, no impact, unfortunately. MARISHA: Fucking Gallan! SAM: He's the worst. MARISHA: God, you suck! MATT: "I'm trying!" MARISHA: Marius, I haven't forgotten about you. MATT: "I'm-- jeez!" The crew's getting very stressed. TRAVIS: That's all the ship's actions. MATT: All righty. TRAVIS: The turn and the fire. MATT: You got it. All right, the rest of you. TALIESIN: I'm going to get within 30 feet, if I can. MATT: Yeah, you are within 30 feet. TALIESIN: I'm going to cast Bane. MATT: Well, actually, you have to get a little close-- TALIESIN: I'll get a little closer, cast Bane, and then I'm going to back up, underneath the stairs for cover. MATT: You got it, Bane? TALIESIN: Bane. SAM: ♪ Bane! ♪ MATT: All right, and you're going to back up to the stairs for cover. TRAVIS: ♪ Bane ♪ ♪ I'm going to live forever ♪ TALIESIN: Like, behind the stairs, going up. MATT: Oh, like here? TALIESIN: Yeah, like over there. MATT: You can get about there. That's about as far as you can get with your movement. ASHLEY: Give it to me. MATT: All right. LIAM: (like Bane) Am I within 30 feet? MATT: Caduceus, that's your turn? TALIESIN: Did Bane work? MATT: Is it a save? TALIESIN: A charisma save. MATT: Charisma save. TRAVIS: Look at that fucking mini. ASHLEY: (like Bane) Would anybody like a sandwich? TRAVIS: I mean, look at the mini. MARISHA: (laughs) ASHLEY: I can't do it. MATT: I'm not exaggerating, natural 20. TRAVIS: Wow! MATT: It only had a plus one. SAM: ♪ Bane! ♪ MATT: But it rolled a natural 20. TRAVIS: Wow. MATT: So Bane does not work. TRAVIS: He's been saving them up, for the last three months. MATT: Apparently, we'll see how long it lasts. LIAM: (like Bane) This is bullshit. MATT: I've been rolling okay. It has a lot of bonuses to a lot of stuff. MARISHA: But your hair looks great. TALIESIN: Thank you. MATT: Your hair does look great. TRAVIS: Can I also assume that, because I'm on the helm, I don't have an action? I have to complete the turn? MATT: Yes, like, you can, if you want to-- somebody else has to take the helm, in order, but for you, you're taking the actions of the ship to allow it to do its own things. TRAVIS: Eldritch Blast can just sit out for a fucking second. LIAM: I got something. So Caleb is flying by the-- holding on to the sail. I'm going to get to some ropes and just get my arm wrapped around in it and cast Polymorph on the turtle. TRAVIS: Oh, oh! MATT: Okay. TRAVIS: Big swings, big swings. SAM: Are you going to turn it into a turtle? TALIESIN: I wish I'd had that Bane up. TRAVIS: That would be really great. MATT: What's the DC on that? LIAM: It's 17. MATT: 17, and what save is it? LIAM: It's a wisdom save. MATT: A wisdom save. TRAVIS: Just maybe no giant turtles that are sentient. MATT: 17! LIAM: Oh! And now I'm hanging from a rope. TALIESIN: Ah, if Bane had worked, oh! LIAM: Because that is a concentration spell for concentration spell. MATT: Oh yeah, all right. And from that, you're no longer flying, but you are now-- LIAM: Hanging. MATT: Kind of the worst Errol Flynn impression that anyone's ever done. SAM: Oh no, Caleb! TRAVIS: You look like you've done that for years. LAURA: Planning on doing the exact same thing. I'm going to cast Polymorph, as well. MATT: Okay. LIAM: My arms are really not very strong. MATT: That is going to be a 15. LAURA: (gasps) (cheering) MARISHA: What does it do? What, what does it do? SAM: Wait. Does that end the fight? TRAVIS: No, I don't, no, it depends. LIAM: It depends on what she says next (laughs). TRAVIS: You thought about that part, right? LAURA: No. I didn't get that far ahead! MATT: So you cast Polymorph. LAURA: Yeah. I'm going to turn him into just a regular sea turtle. MATT: Okay. You watch as the shimmering energy encircles its body beneath the waves, and suddenly, it goes dark. You can't even see it. Like, it just disappeared beneath the surface That's all you know. TRAVIS: Jester, what'd you do? LAURA: I turned him into a sea turtle! TRAVIS: Like a regular sea turtle? LAURA: Like a regular sea turtle, they can swim. TRAVIS: And mind you, Fjord, like, your heart's in your chest. You have bad previous experience with turtles, in general, especially big ones. TRAVIS: It's canon. MATT: Yeah, it's just really, you're like-- (panting) TRAVIS: Yeah, I mean, think about it, what kind of a face does this inspire? Bah, bah, bah. Terror! LIAM: Jester has just bought us some time, and I think that we should use it. LAURA: We should maybe go, go? We should just-- MARISHA: Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! TALIESIN: Yeah, full speed. TRAVIS: It's not our turn. MATT: No. SAM: Sea turtles probably can swim pretty fast, I think. MATT: Veth, what are you doing? SAM: Oh, I get a turn? Okay. I'll cast Spider Climb on myself and march up that middle mast. MATT: All righty. So you cast that, and you get about, your speed is what, 35, 40? What is it? SAM: No, no, it's only 30 now. I'm a halfling. MATT: That's right. You're a halfling again. You get about 30 feet up to there, we'll say, about, partway up the mast. SAM: And for my bonus action, I will-- oh, I can't cast another spell, never mind. Never mind. MATT: Never mind? MARISHA: No Beau-nus-regard. TRAVIS: Wow! Warm it up, warm it up, warm it up! MARISHA: It's been a month. TRAVIS: Warm it up. LAURA: Hide under your table. LIAM: (screeches) SAM: ♪ It's been three months ♪ TRAVIS: Rusty hinge, rusty hinge! ASHLEY: ♪ It's been three months since we sat here ♪ TRAVIS: I've never sat here. What'd you say? ASHLEY: Eh? TRAVIS: Huh? MATT: Okay. MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. About water walking? LAURA: Do we have nets? Do we have nets? SAM: Yeah, we have nets. Sure, we have a couple, I'm sure. TRAVIS: How long does Polymorph last? LAURA: An hour. LIAM: About an hour. TRAVIS: Let's get the fuck out of here. LIAM: Yeah. LAURA: It will be able to find us in an hour. TALIESIN: Well, it'll be very far away in an hour. LIAM: It'll be very slow for an hour. Sail! MARISHA: ♪ Sail! ♪ SAM: We should sail at top speed. TALIESIN: Top speed. TRAVIS: As soon as it's our turn. MATT: All right, so you guys then go, top speed, back on to the ship's course. TRAVIS: Is it the ship's turn? MATT: Yeah, we'll say, for the moment, there is no combat initiated. You do not see the target of your ire, unless one of you wants to make a severe peering check into the ocean below. TALIESIN: I will make a severe peering check. MATT: Make a perception check. TRAVIS: Somebody hold his belt while he's looking over the side. ASHLEY: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. TALIESIN: Okay, perception check. ASHLEY: I got you. TALIESIN: ♪ It's been a while. ♪ Can I inspire myself as well? TRAVIS: Do dragon turtles have magic? MATT: Inspire? TALIESIN: It's been so long. I don't re-- Guidance. Can I give myself Guidance for this? SAM: Did you multiclass into bard? TALIESIN: I did. TRAVIS: You did? TALIESIN: You know where I've been. It's been weird. MATT: Yeah, you're a willing creature, so sure. TALIESIN: Yeah, so I'm giving myself inspiration for this. That's pretty good. That's 18. MATT: 18, okay. You do see, below the water, probably about 35 or so feet, there is a sea turtle, about six feet across, from side to side, the shape of it below. So the Polymorph did succeed. TALIESIN: We're good. I'm taller than he is. Let's run. TRAVIS: All right, all hands, you get those barnacles up from below decks, and we go full speed ahead! MARISHA: Get your flig-flappy legs up and your sea legs are-- go full speed ahead! TRAVIS: Seagulls, crab, any kind of sea terminology works. LIAM: ♪ Welcome back ♪ MARISHA: I want you, Willem Dafoe in the lighthouse, and arrgh! LAURA: We're losing time! MARISHA: Eat my lobster, and argh! ASHLEY: Flappy legs. TRAVIS: Flappy legs. ASHLEY: You hear that all the time at sea. TRAVIS: Can we also make sure that Orly puts the wind at our back? I don't care which direction we're going. I just want full sail with full wind behind us. SAM: What's our speed? TRAVIS: 50, if the wind's behind us. MATT: All right. ASHLEY: No way. MATT: So you guys correct yourselves. LAURA: It's going to catch up to us. MATT: The tension remains. And you adjust the sails, go back on the course where you were previously, or are you staying on the-- TRAVIS: Just with the wind. I don't care where it fucking takes us. MATT: Okay, it will take you further north. It might make your overall journey a little longer, but you continue course. A little bit of time passes. TRAVIS: No. MATT: You can hear the creaking of the ship. TRAVIS: It's an hour, man. MATT: (creaking) LAURA: Is the turtle keeping up with us? Can we look and see if it's still-- TRAVIS: I'm going to keep an eye for that. MATT: Make another perception check. TALIESIN: Making another perception check. TRAVIS: Could we have tried to, like, banish the sea turtle or something? LAURA: I can't see it at all. SAM: We have an hour to figure it out. LAURA: We have an hour, yeah. TALIESIN: 18, 27. MATT: 27. You glance over and peer down below, and it's hard to see, because you're not only just looking down into the ocean. You're looking in the wake of the ship, and so above the break, and the ocean itself is obscuring your vision. With that perception check, though, you do catch what you think is a glimmer of a shadow in the water, deep below, that is keeping pace with the ship. TALIESIN: We have a-- MARISHA: He's stalking us. TALIESIN: We have a turtle still stalking us. LAURA: So-- that's a good idea. We can Banish him! TALIESIN: I don't know how to do that. LAURA: I do, I do! But I have to be able to see him. SAM: What's the range? LAURA: Let me look. TALIESIN: Out of curiosity, Polymorph, you actually have to do damage to something to change it back, right? ASHLEY: We could swim down there. MATT: Correct. LIAM: Or run the clock out. MATT: Or run the clock out. TRAVIS: Is the turtle's speed 50 fucking feet? MATT: Yep. TRAVIS: Oh god, they're so fast! I thought they were slow. MATT: It's actually faster in this form than it is dragon turtle form. LAURA: Oh! (laughter) SAM: Never polymorph anything into a turtle ever. TRAVIS: Fucking turtles! What if you picked, like, a clown fish or something? That'd been better. LAURA: That would've been way better, yes. LIAM: I was going to do seahorse. LAURA: That's smarter than a sea turtle, but I saw a turtle, you know. I was just going with a turtle motif. SAM: How close do you have to be for Banish? LAURA: 60 feet! SAM: So here's my idea. We wrap a rope around you, and we sort of throw you over the ship and sort of trail you behind us-- LAURA: Yeah. TRAVIS: Awesome. SAM: Right? LAURA: How long has it been? MATT: How long has it been right now? LAURA: When we're realizing all this. MATT: I say it's probably been about 15 minutes of you guys quietly looking and keeping tabs on this and waiting, before Caduceus manages to, after a while of looking down below the ship and looking through the surf to actually get a bead on the creature. MARISHA: We can still breathe underwater, yeah? TALIESIN: How far away is the turtle from us? MATT: It's about 35, 40 feet below the water, but it just, last you saw, it's right at the cusp, if not below the ship. So you're not sure. LAURA: I don't think I should do Banishment. MARISHA: What do you need to do? LAURA: I shouldn't, because it's also a concentration spell, and it only lasts for a minute. So it would not be as good. TRAVIS: Oh, I thought it was an hour. LAURA: Nope, not Banishment. LIAM: Jester, Jester, let's just both go together, and we both try to change it into something like a seahorse, yeah? LAURA: More Polymorph, okay, okay, okay. LIAM: Two chances. LAURA: To be, too, we'll cast, make him a heavy-- SAM: Do we have a dinghy? LAURA: -- slow-- MATT: A dinghy? LAURA: -- sea creature. SAM: A small boat? MATT: Yes, yes. LIAM: A sea slug, a seahorse, something-- MATT: Technically-- LAURA: Slow. LIAM: Yeah, a sea slug. TRAVIS: A rowboat? LAURA: Sea slug. LIAM: Sure. MATT: Less of a dinghy, more of a rowboat, or-- SAM: You know what, forget the rowboat. TALIESIN: We can all walk on water right now. SAM: Oh, that's true. LAURA: Oh, that's right. We jump over the side and walk above it. TALIESIN: Grab the ropes. SAM: But you know what, before you go, just for flair, I'm going to just attach two planks to your feet. MARISHA: Uh-huh, skis. SAM: Yeah, and a rope. MARISHA: Yeah. LAURA: Caleb can go, too. SAM: Yeah. MATT: Tender, that's the phrase I was looking for. SAM: (laughs) Great. MATT: But yes. But yes, you do have one of those. SAM: Awesome. MATT: So what's happening? What are you guys doing? LIAM: Okay, so Jester and Caleb are going to-- LAURA: Can you enhance abilities, Caduceus? TALIESIN: I can. I'm going to-- LAURA: No, wait, that doesn't matter. TALIESIN: No, I was going to say if Bless will help-- LAURA: Yeah, yeah. TALIESIN: But I don't think it will, will it? LAURA: No. TALIESIN: That's attack and saves. LAURA: No, it won't. TALIESIN: If I get Bane before we do it. I can try Bane again, but we've got to be 30 feet. MATT: What are you guys doing? ASHLEY: We can still breathe underwater, right? SAM: Yeah. MATT: Everyone can breathe underwater, and-- SAM: Do you want to go down and kill it? LAURA: No, no, you hit it-- MATT: -- and walk on water, at the moment. You still have another, like, 40 minutes of walking on water. TALIESIN: So I'm going to join you and Caleb, back down there. LAURA: Okay, the three of us will go out, on the water. TALIESIN: Okay, holding ropes. LIAM: You keep your spell up. I will go first to try to challenge the turtle's wisdom. MATT: You guys are all just water skiing behind the boat? MARISHA: Yeah. TALIESIN: Although, if I hit-- LAURA: One arm. TALIESIN: -- a d4 disadvantage on that. LIAM: Okay, so we're going to get super close. TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm going to try. TRAVIS: Just turn the boat around. LAURA: No, no, no, we got to keep-- TRAVIS: No, I mean, we could really, like, just-- LAURA: That's true. We could, because we're not going to outrun it. SAM: No, no, no, just give her the water skiing. LAURA: I like skiing, though. MARISHA: Water skiing sounds great. Okay, so-- LAURA: It looks cooler. MARISHA: I feel like I need to help. Yasha, I'll hold Jester's rope with you. ASHLEY: Okay. MARISHA: Who is going to hold Caduceus' rope? SAM: I feel like Yasha can hold all the ropes. MARISHA: Let me feel useful, man. TALIESIN: Everybody hold some ropes. Everybody hold all the ropes. LAURA: Also you can tie the ropes onto part of the ship. MARISHA: Okay, I start-- to the cleats of ship-- shirt-- tying them off. LAURA: Okay, so we get within 30 feet of the turtle. MATT: You have to go beneath the surface. It is about 35 to 40 feet below the surface. LAURA: Caduceus is going to go below the surface a little bit. TALIESIN: I'm going to-- actually, because it will shoot me back up, once I dive down, so I'm going to jump off the hull, tied to the rope, and use that to get myself down, before it shoots me back up to the surface. MATT: Okay. MARISHA: Do you have your life vest on when you walk on water? TALIESIN: It moves you 60 feet up, if you're underwater. It'll just shoot you 60 feet up 'til you're on the surface. MATT: Okay. MARISHA: Okay, okay. MATT: So, all right, so Caduceus takes the rope-- LIAM: Yeah, like turtle exterminate. MATT: If there's any member of the Mighty Nein who has shown a love for water and the open ocean as much as Veth has experienced, it's Caduceus. TALIESIN: Yep. MATT: (laughs) TALIESIN: Trying to expand my horizons. MARISHA: All right, Caduceus, if something goes wrong, pull on the rope twice, and we'll yank you up. TALIESIN: Can I speak underwater, out of curiosity, with-- can I speak underwater with this, with Breathe Underwater? MATT: Yes. TALIESIN: All right. MATT: We've said that's allowed, yeah. TALIESIN: All right, going for it, bang. MATT: All right, you-- LAURA: Woo! MATT: Well, you jump. TALIESIN: Yep! MATT: You leap, and you break the surface of the water. I need you to make another perception check, because you are-- this is not your trained vision on a creature. This is you leaping off a boat, into the surf, and then trying to reengage your position and trying to find it beneath the water, where it's super murky. TALIESIN: 29! SAM: Whoa! MATT: You do manage to still see it. You still manage to see it, you motherfucker. SAM: Aqua cow! TALIESIN: Bane! LIAM: Manatee. MATT: All right, the save on that is-- TALIESIN: Is a charisma 17. MATT: Charisma 17. No, that is a 10. Bane is a success. TALIESIN: Now I pop back up, and I start-- I'm reeling myself back in. LAURA: Great, great. TALIESIN: All yours! SAM: What does Bane do, what does Bane do? TALIESIN: d4 against saves and attacks. SAM: Okay, okay, okay. MATT: Okay. LAURA: So, Caleb. LIAM: I'm going to Polymorph wisdom of the turtle. MATT: Okay, you cannot see it. LIAM: Oh. MATT: Make a perception check to see if you can try and peer beneath water. LIAM: Okay, I stick my face into the water. LAURA: But Caduceus is pointing out where it was. TALIESIN: Yeah. ASHLEY: I hold his belt. MATT: So you guys are all now-- now the three of you, you guys follow Caduceus, hit the water, splash up, and you grab the rope, and you're skidding. TRAVIS: How's it going back there? LAURA: This is really fun. TALIESIN: I'm trying to walk through the water to tell them where. MATT: Okay, because this is a lot of unique physicality, that you are not really familiar with, necessarily, can I have each of you guys just make a general dexterity saving throw, for me. LIAM: All right. LAURA: Sure. MATT: This is your attempt to-- while you can walk on water, you're being dragged by a boat on a rope. SAM: Ooh, while you're back there, could you do that-- TRAVIS and SAM: (groaning) LIAM: What good is Walk on Water? MATT: Well, the good news is you don't sink. But you do stone skip a bit. TRAVIS: (thumps) MATT: You haven't, like-- LIAM: That's on brand. MATT: You haven't let go of the rope. But you are-- (crashing). LIAM: Sure. TALIESIN: I assume we're tied to the ropes, anyway. LIAM: I weigh 98 pounds. LAURA: You got water up your butt. MATT: You do take seven points of bludgeoning damage in the process. LIAM: How many points? MATT: Seven point of bludgeoning damage. And you are currently unable to cast a spell this round, because you cannot concentrate. LIAM: Aww! ASHLEY: Oh no! LIAM: Get it, Jester. MATT: Jester, what'd you roll? LAURA: I rolled 20. SAM: Why don't you try that thing where two of you are standing up and one of you is on their shoulders, sort of like a pyramid thing? (laughter) TRAVIS: Jaws II. LAURA: I have an important question about spells, which I feel like I would already know. MATT: Sure, what's your question? TRAVIS: But it's been three months. LAURA: If I am doing a concentration spell, and I'm holding it, and I try to do another spell, and it doesn't succeed, does the concentration still hold from the previous one? MATT and LIAM: No. LAURA: It drops. MATT: It drops. LIAM: You're giving it up. LAURA: Okay, so here's the thing. If I try to do this Polymorph and it doesn't succeed-- TRAVIS and TALIESIN: No, no, no, no, no, no. SAM: I think it's worth it. MARISHA: It goes back to a regular dragon turtle. SAM: I think it's worth it. TALIESIN: No! SAM: He's got Bane on him. LIAM: No, you're risking it. LIAM: With us in the water you're risking it turning into Godzilla. LAURA: Then I'm going to wait. I'm going to help Caleb stand up, so that he can do it. SAM: This is the best chance we're going to get. It's going to fade. TRAVIS: We have an hour. LAURA: We have an hour. LIAM: An hour! LAURA: It's only been, like, 20 minutes. TRAVIS: We can turn the boat around. LIAM: Shut up, you anarchist! MATT: The process of getting the ropes, making the deal, jumping over the water, getting in there, surveying the territory to actually get a visual bead on this creature, as you guys are currently attempting to, getting Caleb from stone-skipping himself to death, in the back. LIAM: (popping) (laughter) TRAVIS: Like [inaudible]. MATT: Yeah! As you the rest of you are just kind of watching this happen- LIAM: It is so in-character. MATT: Yep! We're hitting about the 25, 30-minute mark. So we're hitting near the halfway point of the Polymorph. TRAVIS: Can I shout: Lower sail! And do a 180-degree turn, so we just like-- LAURA: Aah! TRAVIS: Spin it around, right? Just, like, to stop-- just to stop our our forward momentum. MATT: Yes, you can. TRAVIS: Okay. LAURA: But wait, we have to cast the sp-- oh god! MATT: At this point, you guys now are being yanked with centrifugal force, as the ship begins to turn around. It's not super strong, but it's enough to just whip you a bit (splashes), across the water. TALIESIN: I'm trying to keep-- I'm keeping-- I'm trying to keep a-- MATT: You can see it. TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm, I'm-- MATT: He's pointing in the direction. But this is less about knowing where it is and more, actually, trying to make out the shape beneath the surface of the water. It says our travel pace is four miles an hour, so-- (laughs) MATT: You guys aren't super fast, necessarily, but it's the ocean. LAURA: Oh, we just turn the fan, at this point. MARISHA: We can only use it once. LAURA: Shit. MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs) It's done. MATT: Nevertheless, what are you guys doing? LIAM: Will you help me get me to my feet? LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. LIAM: I'm going to shove my face into the water again and try to see it, again. MATT: Okay, all right. We'll say, for the sake of not just doing repeated perception checks over and over and over and over again, this takes a period of time to try and reorient yourself. LIAM: Okay. MATT: So this'll get us to the... just past the 30-minute mark. LAURA: Oh my god. MATT: Attempt it again. LIAM: The perception check, yes? MATT: Yeah. TRAVIS: Goddamn. LAURA: Guidance! LIAM: 21. MATT: 21? LAURA: Guidance, Guidance. LIAM: Is that an extra d4? LAURA: Yes. LIAM: 22. MATT: You do see it beneath the surface. You can just barely see the shape of the sea turtle, beneath the boat, and as the boat turns around, you see it rests, and it's down below, resting in the water, glancing up in the direction. SAM: Oh man. LIAM: Yeah, be a sea slug, bitte. MATT: All right, and that is a-- LIAM: 17 wisdom. MATT: 17 wisdom! TALIESIN: With a negative d4. TRAVIS: That's an actual animal, right? LIAM: Yeah. MATT: That is-- TALIESIN: With the d4 minus? MATT: With the d4 minus. TALIESIN: Thank you. MATT: No worries. Sorry, what are you turning it into, you said? LIAM: 17 is-- MATT: No, what? LIAM: Oh, a sea slug. MATT: A sea slug, all righty. That brings it to a 13. LAURA and SAM: (gasp) MATT: So yeah. The shadow of the creature becomes near impossible to see. TALIESIN: Run! MATT: You do not see it, at this time. TRAVIS: Are we good? TALIESIN: Run! TRAVIS: Are we good? LAURA: Run! LIAM: It's a slug! Let's go! TRAVIS: Full sail! Full speed ahead! LAURA: Wait, we have an hour. We have a whole other hour. TRAVIS: Throw Marius, Gallan, and Delles off! We need all the excess weight off the ship! MARISHA: Fucking Marius! LAURA: I'm going to cast, from behind the boat, I'm going to cast Control Water, to speed us up. MATT: Okay, okay. SAM: Maybe you should polymorph it again, into something else. LAURA: Mm-mm. SAM: No? LAURA: Well, I can't. It's too low. TRAVIS: I actually will do the same, at some point. I'll throw a Control Water out there, to do the same. MATT: Okay, now, sea slug-- TRAVIS: Oh god, what? SAM: Can go 80 feet per round. (laughter) MARISHA: And can fly. LIAM: It immediately gets eaten by a guppy. MARISHA: Yeah. LAURA: Uh-oh. MARISHA: And then breaks. TRAVIS: (gasps) LAURA: Uh-oh. MATT: No, I'm just, there is no particular stat block for a sea slug, so I'm just having to figure it out. It's not going to move fast. It is not a free ocean speedy creature. Okay. TALIESIN: Full speed. MATT: So full speed, the ship picks up. Are you going along with the wind, or are you going back on your path? TRAVIS: The wind at our backs, 50. MATT: Okay, okay. TRAVIS: North. LIAM: Caleb's hands on both of the clerics' shoulders, just, like, tripping and slipping on the water and holding on to them to try to get back. TALIESIN: Are we already out of range of the-- I can't even see the sea slug. I don't know why I bother. MATT: Yeah, the sea slug is-- TALIESIN: Gone, all right. MATT: That's a whole nother perception check, if you want to try and make it. TALIESIN: No, no, I'm cool. MATT: Okay, so as the boat now picks up, you guys are still on the back, on the ropes, as it turns back into the wind and then (whooshes) picks up full speed, as people are shouting above. The crew is scattering about. They're pulling the sails fully open. And the three of you are now still like (shushes). TALIESIN: We were supposed to be getting pulled in, for this whole-- MARISHA: Yeah, I'm pulling him in. I'm pulling him in. MATT: All right. TRAVIS: Oh fuck! I forgot about you guys! (laughs) MATT: Yeah, I was wondering when that was going to happen. (laughs) So, eventually, you pull them back up, on to the ship. LAURA: I tried to do some cool tricks. MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs) TRAVIS: Sorry, sorry. MATT: But you continue to go for a while, a little bit off course, so probably out about a day or so, or a half a day of travel, I'd say, once you correct. But you continue, up until sunset. And at what point do you want to correct, at this point or in the morning? TRAVIS: Has it been an hour, a couple of hours? MATT: It's been more than a few hours, yeah. TRAVIS: Okay. MATT: About three hours. TRAVIS: Any land in sight? MATT: From this point, no. TRAVIS: Okay. I mean, anybody see any fucking swimming islands? TALIESIN: I'm keeping my eyes peeled. MATT: Mm-hmm. All right, good to know. LAURA: Oh god! MATT: Make a perception check. TALIESIN: (blows raspberry) Natural one. MARISHA: Oh boy. Oh no. MATT: It seems fine. LIAM: That's impossible! TALIESIN: I think I'm a little shook. There's chlorine in my eyes. TRAVIS: So we came around the bottom of Urukayxl, and now we're going like this, right? SAM: Sea chlorine. MATT: Well, you're just past the Inkclaw Reefs, and you're heading northwest, and so you're just passing the tip of the Inkclaw Reef. TRAVIS: Up here? MATT: No, right there, on that corner there. The weather's good, right now, which is nice. TRAVIS: We were heading west, right, so we were coming this direction? MATT: Correct. TRAVIS: Yeah, let's-- MATT: So yeah, you're loosely heading now in the direction of Rumblecusp. You're a little bit off. But you say you're probably about, you're guessing four days of travel. TRAVIS: Well, I would assume that if we headed in the direction that we were moving when the dragon turtle started tracking us, that it would search for us in that direction. So I think we add time and keep going with the wind at our back, north, and just add time to the-- TALIESIN: Especially if there's somewhere where we can repair the ship. TRAVIS: Well, we're out in the middle of fucking nowhere. Rumblecusp is the closest thing. We're kind of down here. So it's Rumblecusp or the bottom part of Nicodranas, or whatever this is. LAURA: We can't miss Traveler Con. TRAVIS: It's a week. I mean, it might add a day or two, but I think we'll still be okay. I think we keep going north for at least another, let's call it, half a day and keep an eye out, and if nothing shows, then we can start to course correct, back west. MATT: Okay, got it, cool. So you guys continue northward, for the remainder of the day, into the night, no sight of the creature. SAM: Great. MATT: Evening's rest comes, the next day, three days of travel away from Rumblecusp. TRAVIS: Re-up Underwater Breathing at 2:30. MATT: You got it. TRAVIS: I will also pray to the Wild Mother and say: I'm sorry I didn't check in before I got on the water, like a fucking noob! MATT: (laughs) TRAVIS: Please watch over the cast. The crew. (laughter) LIAM: Both, both, both! MATT: You got it. You got it. TRAVIS: Yeah, both. MATT: All righty. MARISHA: That's such a Freudian slip. Oh no. TRAVIS: Yeah. MATT: The next day of travel, you are now correcting course? Okay. TRAVIS: Yeah. MATT: Then you now head straight. It's a little bit of a deviation. It's not terribly off. You weren't wildly going in the opposite direction. But you head back true, towards Rumblecusp. With Orly's help, easy enough to figure out where you were and where you're going. Continuing through that day-- TRAVIS: Would you say about 12 hours have passed, with us on a deviated course? MATT: Yes. TRAVIS: Okay. MATT: So you lost about six hours of travel, I'd say, so a little under half a day. ASHLEY: That's terrible. MATT: Not too bad. TRAVIS: No, I'm just trying to go the opposite direction we were going. MATT: Yeah. Yeah, you'll still get there with days to spare. LIAM: Yeah. MATT: Next day, seems uneventful. SAM: Okay. MATT: If you're keeping watch again, Caduceus, make a perception check for me. TALIESIN: Let's do a little better than last time. TRAVIS: Oh-- LIAM: Long rest. TALIESIN: Eh, it's okay. 18. MATT: 18, okay. No sign. TRAVIS: First Mate, will you take some crew and check for any damage to the ship from when we got rammed? MARISHA: Yeah, totally. TRAVIS: We probably should've done that already. MARISHA: All right. Marius, Shelda, Gallan, come on, we're going below deck. Who was the carpenter? Jester, you're a carpenter, right? LAURA: I'm a carpenter, and also there's another dude who is Gallan, is a carpenter. MARISHA: Gallan, yeah, yeah, yeah. TRAVIS: Old Axe-Head. MATT: Both you and Gallan together. TRAVIS: (axe impact) LAURA: Yeah. MATT: Yeah. So you and Gallan, together, both are the most trained and skilled for this particular task. LAURA: We're very trained and skilled. MATT: So you take some supplies, and the two of you can take the better part of the day to work on some of the hull damage below. It's not too bad, thankfully. It was a heavy hit, and you would've started seeing serious penalties to everything, probably with the next round of attacks. TRAVIS: Is there a way to regain hit points for the hull? MATT: That's what we're doing right now. So I need for you and Gallan, go ahead and roll 2d12, for me. LAURA: Each? MATT: No, together. Just one d12 for each of you. LAURA: Eight. MATT: So you repair eight points to the hull. SAM: Oh, okay! LAURA: Oh, eight whole points. TRAVIS: Eight points, okay. MATT: Hey, everything helps. TRAVIS: Yeah. MATT: It's two people at sea, with whatever materials you have and a couple of tools, fixing a ship from the inside. LAURA: What about with my Mending spell, though? MATT: It's a bit much for a Mending spell, unfortunately. LAURA: Shit, I keep trying it, every time. MATT: I know. SAM: You could paint a new hull. LAURA: No, we tried this before. It just would be a plank of wood that would fall down. MATT: Yeah. All right, so-- SAM: Sounds fun. MATT: This day seems to close, uneventfully. Go through the night, on to the second-to-last day before your approach to Rumblecusp. TRAVIS: Can I ask Caduceus to try and-- (sighs). You might know this better than I. Does the Wild Mother have any sort of, I don't know, early warning system for incoming dragon turtles, anything in her oceans? TALIESIN: I mean-- TRAVIS: She could give us a stiff breeze, a fart on the wind. I don't know. TALIESIN: I suppose I can make an attempt. So I'm going to try-- where is it-- Divine Intervention. MATT: Sure. TALIESIN: To see if I can store up some safe passage for us once we get there. TRAVIS: Or maybe even any knowledge about a dragon turtle, since no one knows anything, right? MATT: That would be less Divine Intervention. That'd be more of a Commune. TALIESIN: I don't have Commune loaded up. MATT: Okay, so you have to wait for the next day to do that. But for Divine Intervention, you are trying to assure safer passage? TALIESIN: Yeah. MATT: Okay. SAM: Yasha fell off the boat. TALIESIN: 21. MARISHA: Meh. MATT: 21. TALIESIN: Not that I can really think of, although I can do, and every now and then, throughout the night, I'm going to cast-- hold on, I haven't hit my long rest, because I used a lot of spells-- the Locate Object, which should work for turtle dragons, within 1,000 feet. MATT: It's not an object. TALIESIN: It's not an object, gah. MATT: It's a creature. Sorry, buddy. TALIESIN: Do I have Locate Creature? I don't, do I? No. Yeah, I can maybe do something tomorrow, maybe. TRAVIS: Just keep in mind. Can we also ask the crew, anyone, even the other, Marius, Gallan, Delles, does anyone have any knowledge of dragon turtles, at all, encounters, what they've heard, hearsay? MATT: You ask around. TRAVIS: Knowledge? MATT: Gallan goes, "If I'm going to be honest, "there was, supposedly, and this was sort of a wives' tale, "back in Darktow, but there was supposedly a dragon turtle "that had an arrangement with the Revelry, "as part of the defenses, to make sure "that unapproved ships made it through the reef safely." TRAVIS: Around the island, around Darktow? MATT: "Right, right. "We're a bit far from Darktow, "so I don't think it's the same creature." LAURA: Oh, oh, oh. MATT: "But at least, from what I know, "there was an arrangement made." LAURA: Oh, so they're-- TRAVIS: Intelligent. LAURA: They're, like, really smart and stuff. And they can be bargained with. SAM: So next time we see it, we should bargain with it. LAURA: We should definitely be like, "So sorry, man." SAM: (imitating Jester) Yeah, sorry, man. LAURA: Yeah. MARISHA: Do we have anything that we could've bargained with? SAM: Marius. MARISHA: Ah, that's a good point. TALIESIN: Well, what do dragon turtles want? TRAVIS: Well, if the post around Darktow is such a sweet gig, maybe we would lead it to Darktow and let them fight. (laughter) TALIESIN: I love that movie. TRAVIS: Right, I mean, Darktow's got riches. We don't. Maybe that's what it's looking for. LAURA: Maybe it just wanted a friend. Maybe it was really lonely out here. Maybe the turtle that was protecting Darktow was its mate, and it just wanted help freeing the other turtle from the Darktow and then we kept it from being-- SAM: Oh, that's a sweet love story. LAURA: I know, it would've been really sweet. TRAVIS: Was this in one of your books or something? LAURA: I'm just saying that's possible. TRAVIS: Huh. LIAM: I wonder if it has a dragon's hoard, somewhere beneath the waves. TRAVIS: Oh. LIAM: Don't you? MARISHA: Always, yeah. That was my first thought as well. SAM: (laughs) TALIESIN: I'm officially lost. LAURA: Do you want to go look for it? LIAM: I think we have pressing matters at Rumblecup, no? LAURA: Yeah, I think you're right. LIAM: Crumblerusp? LAURA: Yeah. TALIESIN: Rumblecrumbs. LIAM: Fumbleschnauss. MATT: There you go. Rumpleschmutz, yeah. All right, finishing the second-to-last day, you had spells you've prepared, you said. TALIESIN: Yeah, I have to change my spells. TRAVIS: And they did repairs for this day, already? MATT: Correct. Yeah, we're now getting into the second-to-last day here, which you would have newer spells prepared. You can make another perception check. And you can attempt more repairs, if you'd like. So roll 2d12. TALIESIN: So yeah, I'll-- LAURA: 19. SAM: Hey! MATT: Got it. TALIESIN: I can use Commune. MATT: Yes, you may. TALIESIN: I will, at the break of day, as the sun slowly rises... in the west. TRAVIS: Ooh. TALIESIN: I don't know, I'm just-- I don't actually really-- yeah. SAM: It rises in the west? TALIESIN: The sun slowly rises in the south. MATT: He's not good with directions, Caduceus. TALIESIN: Yeah, no. I've got people for that. TRAVIS: The Menagerie is pretty weird. TALIESIN: I'm going to sit and begin my meditation. We came across a dragon turtle. Are we still being pursued? MATT: As you close your eyes and envision the ocean around you, serene and beautiful, you can feel the waves churning, and you can sense the waves slightly spreading like an arrowhead, in your direction, which leads you to believe: probably. TALIESIN: Oh boy. Well, that answers my-- Can this creature be reasoned with? Is this creature likely to be reasoned with? MATT: This piercing arrowhead, through the ocean that heads your direction, heads with purpose, and seems to have an intelligence to it. The wind that blows along with it gives you this answer that would say: likely. TALIESIN: Likely? MATT: Likely. TALIESIN: Ah. TRAVIS: Can be reasoned with. SAM: Does this creature have a mate near Darktow? TALIESIN: Does this creature know where we are, right now, versus where we're going, I suppose, really, right? MATT: Where the waves divide, the direction of travel is determined. The horizon is cloudy, but it continues to push. So the answer is uncertain. TALIESIN: It's still following us. TRAVIS: Or searching. TALIESIN: No, it's following us. It's right behind us. MARISHA: What did we do to piss it off? Aren't there, like, hundreds of other ships in the sea? SAM: We're pretty awesome. LAURA: Well, we sort of attacked it. LIAM: Yeah, we kind of lit it up. Maybe it's holding a grudge. ASHLEY: It's probably just mad. LAURA: And also we turned it into a regular turtle and then a sea slug. SAM: Also, it hasn't had sex in a long time. LAURA: Because its mate is stuck in Darktow! SAM: Its mate is in Darktow! It's an epic love story. MARISHA: Maybe we just need to hook it up, man. Maybe he just needs to get laid. SAM: Just finger bang that thing. It'll all be okay. TRAVIS: Oh my god! (laughter) ASHLEY: Oh man. TALIESIN: And we're back, we're back. TRAVIS: Are we volunteering here? SAM: Sure, man, I'll do whatever it takes to defend my cannons. ASHLEY: You just, you know, swim down and-- TALIESIN: Since it's a new day, I'm going to try another Divine Intervention to throw this thing off our trail. LIAM: Oh, man. MATT: Okay. TALIESIN: To confuse it and throw it in the wrong direction. TRAVIS: (giggling) TALIESIN: (groans) 19. MATT: No. TALIESIN: (groans) MATT: You do notice that there is a storm passing to the west that is not heading in your direction. So at the very least, while there is not an immediate hand in the matters by the entity of your faith, there is active intent to try and at least help with safe passage, in general. TALIESIN: This is kind of the way of things. We're sort of stuck in it. TRAVIS: Best see it through, then. All right? MARISHA: Maybe if we hang out on Rumblecusp for a week, he'll forget. TRAVIS: I'm not as concerned about that. I'm just trying to get us there. MARISHA: Yeah. LAURA: I'm going to climb up to the crow's nest. MATT: Okay. LAURA: And I'm going to draw in my journal a couple of giant sea dragons, turtle dragons humping. MATT: (squeals) (laughter) TALIESIN: Waiting for it. LIAM: (nasally moaning) MATT: All righty, there you go. SAM: With these days, we've been at sea for another two days? MATT: You've been at sea for three days, since the encounter with the sea turtle. SAM: I'm going to try to, with some black powder and maybe a hollowed-out cannonball, I'm going to try to fashion a crude depth charge. TRAVIS: Ooh! MATT: Sure. TRAVIS: Fluffernutter and depth charges. MARISHA: Are you going to do that on the boat? SAM: Yep! TRAVIS: Cool. MARISHA: Okay. MARISHA: Are you going to do that by the rest of the powder? SAM: No, that would be crazy. MARISHA: Our boat's made of wood. MATT: Yeah, well, as a note, most cannonballs? Not hollow, so you have to hollow one out. SAM: Maybe I'll just find a cask then, a cask. MATT: Yeah, you can do that. MARISHA: Solid iron. MATT: You can do that. That's going to be a little easier for you, your halfling fingers. TRAVIS: No, let him bore out a cannonball. SAM: Got a Phillips head screwdriver, just going to-- TRAVIS: Seeing some, just a sec, here. MATT: Terrible Trivium is like, here, do this for me. All righty, so go ahead and make a tinkering check for me. SAM: With advantage? MATT: No. SAM: Okay. MATT: Add your intelligence modifier. And are you proficient with tinker's tools? LIAM: Tinker's tools? SAM: No, no. MATT: All right, so just add your intelligence modifier. SAM: Eight! MATT: Okay. LIAM: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. MATT: All right, so you craft what smells like a vile explosive material from your alchemical interest, but trying to get it into a pot of some kind, you have what you think might be a functional depth charge. SAM: Nice. TRAVIS: You made napalm. MARISHA: Yeah, you did. TRAVIS: With a screw-top, a cork. MARISHA: What's that chemical smell? SAM: Nothing! TRAVIS: Are you drinking that? Are you passing it around? SAM: No, this is explosive. TRAVIS: Oh! You made that? ASHLEY: How does it work? Do you throw it? SAM: Well, I think, if it works correctly, you light the fuse. You throw it in the water. You count five, four, three, two, one, and then... TRAVIS: How do you measure-- SAM: (explosion) the time until the explosion, effectively? SAM: I did some tests with the wick, with the fuse. ASHLEY: If you throw it in the water, won't it defuse? SAM: The fuse is in the barrel, so it won't get, I coated it with a little wax, just in case. LAURA: That's really cool. MARISHA: I imagine it's a cross between a dragon and a turtle. LAURA: I'm on the crow's nest. I am not paying attention to this. MATT: Your drawings are now complete, and they are wonderful. LAURA: And I also want to do something else. MATT: Okay. LAURA: I want to cast Sending. MATT: Okay. LAURA: To the turtle. MATT: Okay. LAURA: To the turtle dragon. MATT: Okay. In Common? LAURA: Sure, but creatures with intelligence scores of at least one understand the meaning of your message. SAM: Oh! MATT: You got it, okay. LAURA: So with my brainpower, I'm going to send it a message. MATT: Okay. SAM: You pooping? LAURA: O dragon turtle, (chuckling) I'm so very sorry we attacked you. I didn't realize you were just searching for your mate. And now I feel really guilty. If you need help, how many words is this? SAM: That's it. LAURA: Anybody? MATT: Yeah, you're done. TRAVIS: I forgot. It's been three months. That's still my thing. LAURA: I know. I was looking to see if you were helping me. TRAVIS: I was enjoying the story. MATT: You got to keep up with this, Travis. TRAVIS: Sorry. Fucking boats. MATT: Okay. Your message is delivered. What languages do you know? LAURA: Common and Infernal. MATT: Okay. The message returns. This forceful presence, in this deep, gargly, gravelly voice, like rocks grinding against each other, beneath the waves, you hear (guttural foreign language) (guttural foreign language) You have no idea what's being said. LAURA: But if I have an intelligence of one, do I understand what they are saying? MATT: Does it say that in the spell? SAM: We're really pushing the limits-- LAURA: (reading) "The creature hears the message in its mind, "recognizes you as the sender, and if it knows you, "it can answer in a like manner." SAM: Oh! MATT: In a like manner, then yes, then yes, you get the-- SAM: If it knows you. MATT: You get the gist of it. LAURA: He knows me! It saw me cast spells at it! MATT: (laughs) Eh, technically. The gist of its return message is, "I need no mate. "I take what I want." That's it. TRAVIS: (blows raspberry) TALIESIN: Well, that's good to know. LIAM: You possibly remember that Caleb has the ability to help himself or someone understand any language. LAURA: Oh, I do too. I have that spell. SAM: Oh, well. LAURA: Oh, it doesn't matter. I can still communicate with Sending. LIAM: Yeah, there's always tomorrow. TRAVIS: What spell is that? LIAM: Tongues. TRAVIS: Tongues. LAURA: I might have that prepared. TRAVIS: So we should talk to it, the next time. By the way, each day, could we have Caduceus, Jester, and myself do Control Water, one at a time, to give it that extra push behind the boat, just because every little bit helps. MATT: Sure enough. TRAVIS: Okay. TALIESIN: I can do it, multiple times, if need be. LAURA: I'm going to cast Sending again. MATT: Okay. TRAVIS: And doing it multiple times is a given, so if you wouldn't mind. TALIESIN: Are you doing the fan as well? LAURA: So if you take what you want, why are you following us? Do you need something? Do you need us to take something for you? MARISHA: Yeah, excellent points. LAURA: Maybe? MARISHA: Yeah. MATT: And you've cast Tongues on yourself or not? LAURA: Nope, I'm just communicating with Sending. MATT: Okay. The gist is, "Ships carry treasure. "I take what I want." LIAM: Ooh, ooh, ooh. TRAVIS: Tell him we're broke as fuck? LAURA: Yeah, yeah. I'm going to send one more Sending. MATT: Okay. LAURA: I'm going to say: Oh man, we are broke as fuck. We got nothing! MARISHA: Yeah, we got dick statues. LAURA: Yeah, I got, like, lots of little dick statues. MARISHA: Green cloaks? LAURA: That's it. MARISHA: And Marius. MATT: Marius is like, "What was that?" MARISHA: Don't worry about it. MATT: "Okay." LAURA: But Darktow has lots. SAM: Hmm! MATT: Make a persuasion check. MARISHA: Yeah! TRAVIS: Interesting, interesting, interesting. LIAM: Get it, get it, get it. TALIESIN: It is very specific that you mentioned the dick statues. That would definitely make me go: Hmm, perhaps they're telling the truth. MATT: (laughs) Or perhaps I'm going after that ship. LAURA: Yeah, right maybe I need to (sobs)! TRAVIS: What I've always wanted! LAURA: Ee-ooh, ee-ooh, eek! MATT: ♪ Look at this stuff, ♪ ♪ Isn't it-- ♪ (laughter) No, no! MARISHA: No, it was so good! TRAVIS: It was such a good idea. ASHLEY: It was such a good idea. MATT: What'd you roll? LAURA: One! MATT: Okay. LAURA: One measly little one. MATT: The essence of the return message you gather is, "I have your scent. "I take what I want." TRAVIS: Oh fuck. LAURA: Ew! SAM: He has our scent, let's change our scent. TRAVIS: Or let's start pooping in the water. SAM: Yeah! LIAM: I am the original bad dragon. TRAVIS: Ah! MATT: (laughs) TRAVIS: (laughs) Nope, nope. LIAM: ♪ Look at this stuff ♪ MATT: See now, that's the Uk'otoa present I got to get everybody for Christmas. TRAVIS: Collecting now. LIAM: Oh! TALIESIN: No. TRAVIS: Can I ask Orly, according to his calculations, how far do you think we are from Rumblecusp, the nearest shore? MATT: You're a little over a day from it. You have one more night's travel, and you'll hit it, at some point, probably midday, tomorrow. TALIESIN: What if we burn everything we have to speed this up, as well? MATT: That could help. TRAVIS: What else do we have? TALIESIN: So I'm going to burn, since we're doing this, I can burn several Control Waters, to give us a boost. LAURA: Same. MATT: Define several. TALIESIN: I'll burn, let's just start, how much of a boost does each one give us? MATT: Not a tremendous amount, but for about 10 minutes, it does increase your speed, I'll say, I'll say approximately-- I'll say it'll increase your speed about 25% for 10 minutes, which does give you additional coverage, with 10 minutes per. TRAVIS: So, like, 65 miles an hour, instead of 50? MATT: Correct. And you have four to cast, you said? TALIESIN: Well, I currently, well, technically, I have three at 4th-level. I got to see what it does. MATT: You can cast it at higher levels, it doesn't have a higher-level benefit, but you can use higher-level slots. I mean, if all of you were to cast, I'd say, Control Water 10 times, you could be there by the morning. LAURA: But if he attacks us-- TRAVIS: I only have one. LAURA: -- in the evening when we've used all our spell slots, we're fucked. LIAM: What about a killer whale towing the boat? Could I chip in that way? MATT: It's a big boat. I don't know if a killer whale pulling is going to do a lot, unfortunately. LIAM: Okay. MATT: Fun idea, but. LAURA: Can you make our boat weigh less? LIAM: No. TRAVIS: I mean, we could, if we threw all of the defensive shit-- MARISHA: Marius. TRAVIS: -- off the boat. MARISHA: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. MATT: "What, what's going on? "Can I help?" MARISHA: No, don't worry about it. I already said that. MATT: "I'm just trying to help. "I'm sorry." MARISHA: Go away, go cook food. MATT: "Fine, I will." LIAM: I mean, a little, I could make the cannons, I could turn them into wood, for periods of time, but if we are overcome by the turtle, that would be bad. MATT: What, wood cannon? Nah, it's great. LIAM: It only lasts for an hour. Then it just reverts back. There's the turtle! Fire (explosion)! MATT: (shrieks) TALIESIN: Honestly, actually, if the cannons become wood for an hour, and then we burn three and three, that's an hour of increased speed plus less weight on the, I mean, that's both. MATT: That is a cannon of eight. Amongst the rest of the cargo there, it's not going to make that much of a difference. LIAM: If I burn the ship, it'll weigh almost nothing. MATT: That's true. That's true. Now you're cooking with gas, all right. TRAVIS: The ship can carry 100 tons, so it won't make a difference. LAURA: Yeah. TALIESIN: Yeah, I suppose it's up to you, Captain. Every push is one last thing I can't do later, but I'll give you whatever you want. TRAVIS: Until the new day, I would love that you could burn whatever you feel like you can. TALIESIN: All right. TRAVIS: And we'll just ride. LAURA: I'm too scared to do it. I'm too scared to do it. I think he's going to attack us soon. He sounded pretty aggressive about it. TALIESIN: Let's, uh, maybe one each, at least. LAURA: All right. MARISHA: By the way, "I don't need a mate" is the battle cry of a horny, lonely person. (laughter) LIAM: I don't need a mate. MARISHA: Yeah. MATT: You're burning a single one? MARISHA: He clearly has a hole in his heart. TALIESIN: You burn one? LAURA: I just don't think it makes that much of a difference. Two wouldn't make that much of a difference. MATT: Two isn't going to make a huge difference. TALIESIN: Okay, then. LAURA: And it would just keep us from being able to do something. MATT: 10 total casts, you'll cut off, like, roughly six hours of travel time. That's up to you guys, though. LIAM: This thing isn't in shape to fight, right? TRAVIS: Beau. If we do find sight on the dragon turtle again, I want you to steer the ship, and I'll make myself available for magics. MARISHA: Oh, yeah, whatever you need, Captain. TRAVIS: Okay. TALIESIN: Oh, is this a new day, by the way? Oh, and that's not an answer. MARISHA: Touch and steer. TRAVIS: Have you steered the ship before? MARISHA: I think I have. I think I have, once. TRAVIS: Okay. TALIESIN: No, I still have, I still have my 5th-level Commune, don't I-- TRAVIS: You want to, like, shadow me for a little bit here. MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. MATT: Yes, you would have another Commune. TALIESIN: Okay, and then I'm going to burn one more Commune. TRAVIS: Less than 24 hours. LIAM: So either fight it or get to land. TRAVIS: Yeah. LIAM: Get on land, we're fine. TRAVIS: Yeah. Well, it can go on land, too, but. LIAM: Can it? TRAVIS: Mm-hmm. I mean, it's a turtle, right? LIAM: It's got these. TALIESIN: As things stand right now-- MATT: This is the same day, right? TALIESIN: Hmm? MATT: Same day. TALIESIN: Oh, same day? So this is my second 5th-level, right? MATT: Right? Yes, the second-to-last, yeah. TALIESIN: So all things-- as things stand-- TRAVIS: I hadn't thought about that part. TALIESIN: Will we come in contact with this turtle dragon in the next day, in the next 24 hours? MATT: The ocean breeze surrounds you, as your eyes close, and you once again envision the waters parting, below the surface. You can sense, along with the Wild Mother's guidance and her connection with all things within the ocean, that while this entity trudges forward, it doesn't trudge directly on the right course. SAM: Ooh. TRAVIS: I love it. The Wild Mother's our Garmin. MARISHA: Okay, okay. TALIESIN: All things-- All things as they stand-- two days? MARISHA: GPS [inaudible]? TRAVIS: Yeah. MARISHA: Oh jeez (laughs). MATT: No. TRAVIS: Took it right back. TALIESIN: Can it smell us? MATT: You get the sense that it-- it's not scent more than that it has a way of following, to an extent. TALIESIN: All right. LAURA: (like Vex) Hunter's Mark! TRAVIS: It can feel the disturbance in the water. TALIESIN: So yeah, so from what I took from that, and sorry, just communication's weird, because the set's weird, the next 24 hours, it's probably not going to make it's way to it, to us, all things being equal. MATT: You feel pretty confident that it's not going to happen, yeah. TALIESIN: I say we burn it all. I'm going to burn it all. Thank you, all right. MARISHA: We're going to have to fight this guy on our way out of Rumblecusp. TALIESIN: That's fine. TRAVIS: We're going to build a community on Rumblecusp and live there for the rest of our lives. MARISHA: Okay, yeah, that's fine. ASHLEY: Or at least we'll save the ship. SAM: You know what? LAURA: Yeah. SAM: When we leave Rumblecusp, we'll send all the followers out, before us. LAURA: Oh, good thinking, and that way-- TRAVIS: Chum the waters. LAURA: -- we don't have to deal with them anymore. TALIESIN: I'm going to burn four, if you've got six. LAURA: I don't have six. TALIESIN: Even at higher levels? I don't have six, too. I'm just burning everything. LAURA: ♪ A little la, dee, dooh-dee, dah, lee ♪ But if he's not going to reach us within 24 hours, what difference does it make? TALIESIN: I'm just playing it safe. LIAM: You have to sign a release form, if you want to travel on. TALIESIN: Or at least, I'll burn three, at the very least. MATT: So burn three? All right, you'll get there a few hours early then. TALIESIN: And if Beau's going to do her fan thing-- LAURA: Oh yeah, it's a new day. MARISHA: Ooh, I can do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It does a little gust of wind for a hot second. MATT: And the percentage to see if it destroys itself is if you do it multiple times in the same day, right? MARISHA: Correct. So I'm only doing it once a day, because I don't want to risk it. MATT: You got it, of course. All right, so we'll say, for the sake of brevity, between the spells that you cast that help to push it along, as the waves swell behind, to push your ship in the direction you wish it to go, the wind itself working, not against you, maybe slightly in your favor, at times, the fan giving you a little boost, you go through the final night of travel. The sun rises on the final day, and about 9:30, 10 o'clock in the morning or so, you begin to see the shape of a landmass, in the direction you are facing on the ship. Getting closer, you can see, at this distance, these winding mountains, this unique shape to them, like like tower trees that poke out of a flower, like the mountain range itself is very wild, and these very thin switchback ridges give it this odd, an opening-flower appearance to it. And in the center of it, you see this one massive mountain, in which this lazy trail of smoke just drifts from the peak. The majority of this mountain is dense, lush jungle, entirely across, and you can see this faint ring of white sand beaches and rocky cliffs that meet on the outskirts of it. But there before you, you see, approaching quickly-- LAURA: Rrr-umble! MATT: The island of Rumblecusp. We're going to go and take a break. (cheering) MARISHA: Yeah! TRAVIS: We made it to break! MARISHA and ASHLEY: We made it to break! MATT: You did. You made it to break. LIAM: We're alive! MARISHA: I've never been so excited for a break. SAM: Feels so great. MATT: We'll be back here in a few minutes to pick up where Rumblecusp has in store. Yeah, we have no other announcements or giveaways and stuff, during the break, so we're just going to go ahead and see you guys in a few minutes. (cheering)

Part II
MATT: And welcome back. So before we jump into it, I want to give a big thanks to Critter Hannah Lampe, who send out this mini that they had painted three months ago, after the last episode, and I've kept care of it very soon, but you should check them out at @Art_ForArtsSake, on Twitter. Thank you so much, Hannah. ASHLEY: It is so cool. TRAVIS: Oh, oh boy! MATT: So you guys approach what would be the southeastern inlet to Rumblecusp. You can see this faint mist that still sits over a large portion of the outer jungle vicinity. Between that and the strange winding, switchback mountain range that lead to that giant, pinnacle mountaintop, has a very dreamlike quality, in this still morning phase of the day. Eventually, you push up into the main inlet, and you don't know if you can get much closer without getting your ship into some serious trouble. You can look beneath the water and see there are sand banks that wind out beyond the beach, that look like these white tendrils beneath the ocean, and you're a few hundred feet back from the actual island itself, before you probably have to drop anchor and then go out on a small skiff. LAURA: Do we see any other boats? MATT: Make a perception check. LAURA: Ooh! 24. MATT: Nice. Looking around the vicinity, you do not see any boats. LAURA: We're the first ones here, you guys! TRAVIS: Anyone on the beaches? Anything that we can see, structures, people? MATT: No. TRAVIS: Okay. SAM: We're the first ones here? LAURA: Traveler! Are you here yet? MATT: Isn't it in, like, a couple of days? No one has shown up yet? LAURA: Traveler! TALIESIN: Well, I mean, you don't want to be early. SAM: I know, but it's a long journey for many people. ASHLEY: Well, it does give us a little time to set up. MARISHA: Yeah. SAM: Sure, sure. LAURA: Artagan! MATT: You have roughly a week or so, or just under a week. ASHLEY: Oh, okay. LAURA: Oh! We're super early. MATT: I'll look at the specifics, but yeah. SAM: Great, no, that's good. We can set up bathrooms and things. LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some tents, make them some sandwiches. TRAVIS: We have our pick of the Fyre Fest tents. MARISHA: Mm-hmm. And make some booths, so people can get their badges upon arrival. LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. MARISHA: A little check-in station. TALIESIN: What? All right. TRAVIS: I guess we'll bring the ship within a reasonable distance and go ahead and drop anchor, prepare the tenders. Do we need to bring anything from the boat ashore with us? Gunpowder, are you going to make fluffernutters, in case of emergency? SAM: This is up to the mistress of ceremonies. LAURA: Well, I personally think we should take everything off the boat and bring it to shore, because I'm pretty sure the dragon turtle is going to come and destroy the boat, while we're here. TALIESIN: That is a distinct possibility, yes. LIAM: That would be a shame, to lose the boat. LAURA: Yeah. TRAVIS: We could run it-- So there are reefs about 200 yards outside of where the actual shoreline is? MATT: Not reefs so much as they're sand banks. TRAVIS: Sand banks, right, and there's no way inside of those, right? MATT: I mean, you can get as close as you can, but you're still going to be probably about 100 and-- TRAVIS: I mean, we can try and run the ship slightly aground, but it's so, eww! TALIESIN: Wow. SAM: Yeah, and also, what if we need to leave in a hurry? That's not very wise. We should just leave our shit on the boat. TRAVIS: Yeah, what would we take from here? TALIESIN: Anything valuable. LIAM: Anything valuable-- LAURA: Lots and lots of little dick statues. LIAM: I mean, I could get us all off of this island, easily, but we would lose the boat. TRAVIS: But we don't need the cannons or the-- SAM: Or Marius. TRAVIS: Oh, right, I mean, I think they all come with us. MATT: You see him, Marius, like, raising his, like, "What?" And Orly goes, "No, no." (laughter) TRAVIS: All right, let's prepare to exit the ship, and how many tenders do we have on this? MATT: Currently, only one. TRAVIS: (lips smacking) Right, trips. SAM: We can all walk on water, can't we? MATT: You guys can all make it in one tender, just the eight of you, or seven of you, sorry. But there won't be anybody to bring it back to shore, which means it'll have to reside on the beach. TRAVIS: I am worried about Orly and the rest of them being on a ship, out here. LAURA: Well, we can walk there. TALIESIN: Perhaps they should camp off the ship then. TRAVIS: So maybe two trips, and we'll bring seven ashore, and then someone will go back and bring the other four crew members. MATT: (as Orly) "Very well, Captain. "No worries. "Bring it around, everybody." TRAVIS: Orly is dependable as fuck. MATT: He goes ahead and gathers the crew. They start getting supplies, camping materials, and slowly, you make your way to shore, not an intense process at all, two trips back, in under 20 or so minutes. You have everybody on the beaches. The beaches aren't long. They're about maybe 30 feet between the water's edge and where the treeline, the very thick treeline, begins. So it's enough, but it's not a massive swathe of land. LAURA: I'm just shouting into the trees. Traveler, are you here? Hello, we're here! MATT: Make a perception check, if you want. LAURA: Guidance! Oh no (laughs). 11. MATT: 11? TRAVIS: Were those wings? LAURA: Yeah (laughs). MATT: Not great. All right. You see no movement. Though, as you are shouting, you watch as some of the trees rustle a bit, and (flapping) a cluster of jungle birds escape from the nearby canopy and just coast around and out of sight. LAURA: Do you think this island is safe? SAM: Well, there's one way to find out. We should do an assessment, right? We need to find a place for people to congregate. We need a place for you to hold your ceremonies or whatever. We should do a sort of-- LIAM: We need to scout the island to-- SAM: We need to scout the island. LIAM: -- understand the lay of the land and what we can do. LAURA: I'm going to set down a ritual to commune with the Traveler. MATT: All righty. SAM: This is your thing, though, not his. TALIESIN: Oh yeah. TRAVIS: While you're doing that, could we have one of you, that are able to change your form, perhaps to do a little aerial investigation of this side of the island, from the air. MARISHA: I was just thinking the same thing. Want to make sure there's no fiends abound. TRAVIS: Trees moving, clearings, things that can be spotted from about. TALIESIN: Giant turtles. MARISHA: I'll take the west side and do a little perimeter scout-- MATT: Just go around the perimeter of the waterline? MARISHA: Yeah, just into the treeline where we are, and do a beach line and see. MATT: Okay, got it. You got it. LIAM: I'll take some time to turn my cat into more of a bird of paradise and send him up-- LAURA: That's a plant. LIAM: Is it? MARISHA: (thwacks) TALIESIN: I mean, yeah. MARISHA: Well, it's a plant and a bird. MATT: It's both, it's both. They're giving you shit. MARISHA: There are, like, several birds of paradises, but also, yeah, we're giving you shit. TALIESIN: They talk at the enchanted tiki room, though. LIAM: I probably wouldn't make it a plant, then. I'd probably make the bird, like I intended. TRAVIS: Toucan, toucan. TALIESIN: They croon. MATT: All right, so, bird of paradise, fair enough. LIAM: A beautifully colorful bird is now up in the air, 10 minutes later. MATT: Indeed. You can produce a colorless mana. LIAM: And I will remove the shit from my-- TALIESIN: (whistling) MATT: Sorry, I had-- wow, that was a middle school flashback. Well, mana of any color, not colorless. That's my bad. TALIESIN: Oh no. MATT: So you complete that. You're having a Commune. SAM: Is anyone going to turn-- so Frumpkin's going to be a bird and search around? LIAM: Mm-hmm. SAM: I'll go the opposite direction from Beau and just scout the other beach, the other way on the beach. MATT: Okay, you guys are just keeping an eye out for anything out of the ordinary? SAM: Looking for any structures or anything weird. MATT: Perception check. MARISHA: Animals, beasts. MATT: You got it. Perception check, each of you guys. MARISHA: Perception? SAM: Yeah. MARISHA: Why is it always perception? MATT: There's only a minute casting time. MARISHA: Natural one! MATT: Oof. MARISHA: Fucking titties. SAM: 11! LIAM: That's the goal. MATT: All right. (laughter) TALIESIN: Took me a minute to get there. TRAVIS: Well done. ASHLEY: Very well done. MATT: Even when Beauregard loses, she wins. All right, so you guys spend time doing a bit of perimeter search around the vicinity. Nothing catches your eye. The sands here seem fairly untouched, if hot now, with the sunlight coming down. It is a hot day, and it is a clear day. But there's still mist visible in element of the jungle. From a natural weather standpoint, that does not quite-- MARISHA: Make sense. MATT: -- coincide. TRAVIS: About what time of day? MATT: At this point, after you've gotten to land and situated yourself, you're pushing noon, because you did make a little time from the Control Waters. LAURA: Is my ritual complete yet? MATT: The ritual takes a minute to cast, so it's super quick. LAURA: Well, I did it as a ritual, so it's a 10-minute-- MATT: Oh, okay, so 10 minutes. Okay. Wait, can it be done? Yes, it can. LAURA: Those little statues with little drawings in the sand, around me. MATT: All right, so as you do your little sketches and prepare yourself, as everyone wanders off to find their places, you concentrate and think real hard about the Traveler, and after a moment, you feel the hands on the shoulders and leaning in over on of you, he goes, "Yes, Jester, may I help you?" LAURA: You're here! MATT: He spins around and sits down on the sand across from you. "I am." LAURA: Do you have a place picked out for us? MATT: "We're here, aren't we?" That's your first question. LAURA: Yes. SAM: Oh boy. LAURA: Is there anything dangerous on the island? MATT: "What island would it be "if there wasn't anything dangerous on it? "Of course, there is." LAURA: Okay, that's cool, cool, cool. Third question, yes or no, am I still your favorite? MATT: "(laughs) Very yes, always yes. "It's not even a question, my dear." LAURA: Oh, good. We saw a dragon turtle. MATT: "That's impressive." LAURA: I know. It tried to kill us. I turned it into a little turtle. It was still following us. Caleb turned it into a slug. I think it's still tracking us. MATT: "Interesting." LAURA: No, I'm your favorite! MATT: "I'm terribly sorry. "You are my favorite, but I have others "that are requesting my presence. "I have to run. "Take care, be safe. "Time's quick. I'll be back soon." LAURA: So soon? MATT: "Yes, very. "Oh, what's over there?" LAURA: Hmm, I'm not falling for that, but you can poof. It's okay. SAM: (chokes, laughs) MATT: (whooshes) And he vanishes into the wind. TRAVIS: You can poof. MATT: (laughs) LAURA: There's something dangerous on the island. We're probably going to have to fight it. Is anybody around? Where is everyone? TALIESIN: I'm not that far away. MARISHA: Coast is clear over here. TRAVIS: Caleb's flying his bird around. MARISHA: Veth. LIAM: I'm sending Frumpkin-- SAM: East beach is clear! MARISHA: Yeah, we're great. LIAM: --in a wide arc. I'll spend 30 minutes doing it. MATT: You got it. Perception check from Frumpkin. LIAM: Balls, I'm sure it's going to be balls. Oh, it's not balls. 19. MATT: 19, okay. LAURA: First. Time. Ever. MATT: No, actually, Frumpkin's had a good couple of rolls recently. LIAM: Second. MATT: There you go, second. Second time's the charm. No, it isn't. Anyway, beyond the mist, the trees here are extremely tall. The canopies are 100 or more feet up. The jungle trees themselves, their trunks are thick and very, very, very alive and tall. Not peering into it, but above it, you can see it is so dense that it gives this cloud blanket-like feel that seems to rise and roil with the landscape, rising up over mountain ridges and over the edge. Some of them pushing up and causing these strange tower-like structures with certain trees that have the best view or best access to sustenance themselves grow much larger than all their surrounding elements. You do see, however, a clearing, a little further in, not quite at the base of the massive central volcano of Rumblecusp, where it gets its name, but on the path to that, on the southern side of the mountain. TRAVIS: And we're currently on the eastern side of the mountain? MATT: You're on the southeastern side. TRAVIS: Southeastern side. LIAM: Okay, so after experiencing that for a while, I come out of it, and I find Jester and relate it all to you. MATT: Did you want Frumpkin to see what the clearing's about? LIAM: Oh, I thought you were done. Of course, I do. MATT: No. LIAM: Yeah, I want us to spend 30 or 40 minutes just watching. ASHLEY: Yes, please. MATT: Yeah, so it's not a clearing as in, like, it's just an open land. You could just see part where the canopy just kid of falls away, except for a couple of (pops) little tufts of treetop there. As Frumpkin swoops in, the lingering mist gives way as he gets closer and closer, and where the mist begins to part, there, in this clearing, there is a village. SAM: Ooh! LIAM: Ooh. MATT: There are about two dozen or more structures built across the ground, and some up into the tree canopies themselves, so you can see networks of ropes and other long pulleys and cords that are bound between trees at a distance, and there are buildings held aloft in them with bridges connecting. You can see elements of it that look like driftwood, elements that were carved from local trees, elements like pieces of ships that have been scavenged, and maybe, at this distant glance, what you peer through the mist, and you can only really see, like, the tops of the lower level of the village and a decent view of the ones that are higher up, amongst the trees, about maybe 50 or 60 feet off the ground, maybe a dozen or so humanoid figures, walking and traversing these bridges or within these small ramshackle buildings themselves. ASHLEY: Endor! LIAM: Any kind of descriptive features to the humanoids that I can-- MATT: Does Frumpkin want to get close enough to look? LIAM: I'll fly in, yeah. MATT: Yeah, okay. TRAVIS: Oh shit. MATT: Getting close, Frumpkin notices it's an eclectic batch. You see a couple of suntanned humanoids, humans specifically, both men, different ages. You can see one has a very long, unkept beard. The other one looks older and has lost most of his hair, but they're both wearing clothes, where elements of it seem very what would have been nice clothes, anyone wandering the Menagerie Coast in Nicodranas or north of the empire, that are just, been tattered and worn, over time, and piecemealed with leathers and bits of dried palm frond. You can see another figure that appears to be elven, themself also sunburned to the point where it becomes a tanned leathery texture, their hair pulled back into a very, very a wild ponytail that puffs out the back of the head a bit and falls to almost mid-back. It would've been black hair, but you can see some of it's going gray. And you can see another figure that appears to be full orc, tall but relatively lithe for an orc who is wearing partially very rusted ring mail that part of it has fallen away, and it's been attached with other leathers that look rough cut and probably tanned, locally, and is in the process of giving out different directions, but they're all crafting, building, tanning. Many of these figures-- it looks like a small commune. LIAM: And it's the garb, the weathered garb of the Menagerie Coast, augmented with what I would theorize can be found here. MATT: Some of it does. Some of it does, but the kind of clothing you would see there as opposed to in the middle of an island in the middle of nowhere is more the point. Some of it has a Menagerie Coast vibe. Some of it has another individual. The elf that you see has something that would almost be lower- to middle-class garb for the Empire. It all seems relatively sourceless or at least scattershot from its source, which means a lot of it could've been scavenged. It's hard to tell. LIAM: And it's a low-key day. People are just going about their lives here. MATT: It appears to be. LIAM: Yeah, yeah. MATT: From what you can make out at this distance and with the mist still kind of obscuring the lower regions of this village. LIAM: Okay, I will send Frumpkin away from here and send him up, up, up, up, up, up to the zenith of the volcano to try to see if there was anything to be seen inside. This will be my final task with Frumpkin. Is it just smoke billowing up from the center of the island? LIAM: Make a perception check for Frumpkin. TRAVIS: (parched gasp) LIAM: Come on, you cat. TRAVIS: (explosion) MARISHA: Right in the ash. LIAM: Eight. MATT: Eight? LIAM: Eight. MATT: Okay. MATT: He's losing altitude. He's losing-- aww. TRAVIS: (plane engine) MATT: Just (pops). It's like a bug zapper (crackles). TRAVIS: Yeah. (laughter) LIAM: One hit point, is at one hit point, right now. MATT: No, Frumpkin does not get close enough to incinerate. But Frumpkin does get close enough to notice that there is, at the very point, and it is a point. There isn't a caldera that's visible. It looks like this island either hasn't erupted, previously, and is just a state of sustained volcanic activity. There is a bit of an orange glow where it looks like there is a faint magma trickle, near the very, very zenith of this mountain, where the smoke emerges, and there is an opening. There is a fissure of some kind where it is emerging from, but-- LAURA: That's a zit that needs to be popped. TALIESIN: (groans) MATT: That's what Frumpkin makes out. TRAVIS: The magma zit. LIAM: The Laura and Liam story. (sings Welcome To Jurassic Park) Okay, so I snap out of it. I call Frumpkin back, and I snap out of it and just, we are not the only ones here. LAURA: Yeah, I know the Traveler told me we have to fight something, probably. LIAM: Fight? LAURA: I don't know. He said there's dangerous things here. LIAM: Well, I saw some sort of a village with folk who look like they are not-- possibly not from here, but living here. LAURA: Like castaways? LIAM: Maybe so. LAURA: (gasps) Like shipwreck survivors? LIAM: Possibly, yeah. LAURA: Like, what if it's all the survivors from the dragon turtle attacks, and they all make their way here? What if they are the dragon's hoard? What if he downs the ships, and then he's like, here, you guys, stay over here. This island is mine. TALIESIN: I wonder if they have, like, a self-help group or something. LAURA: Yeah. TALIESIN: That could be very convenient. LIAM: We should round up the others, and, I mean, we need to throw a party here, so-- LAURA: Yeah, did you see a good place to throw the party? TRAVIS: What part of the island and how far away was it? LIAM: Well, up towards the slope of the volcano or the mountain, not right at the foot of it, but close. So we would have to travel up a bit. LAURA: The whole time we're talking-- MATT: It's a number of miles to the northwest of the beach landing, you guys were at, so... LAURA: I'm using the green fabric. And I'm making a giant sign. I'm painting Traveler Con 3000 on it. MATT: Okay. LAURA: And I'm going to attach it to two big poles as a greeting banner. MATT: Okay, it'll take you a little while, but you begin the process of constructing that. LAURA: Yeah. TRAVIS: Make sure you poke holes in it, for air flow, the breeze-- SAM: The wind. TALIESIN: It'll get blown down, otherwise. LAURA: Oh, okay, okay, okay. TALIESIN: With a little half circle thing. ASHLEY: Yeah. LAURA: Okay. ASHLEY: So they can (soft whoosh). MATT: An important lesson on aerodynamics is absorbed by Jester, and in doing so, the sign is improved. LAURA: So you were saying, Caleb, about people? LIAM: Just that I saw the type of clothes that we have seen in different parts of the world. I really have more questions than I have answers. Oh, that's fancy. More questions than I have answers. I don't know why these people are here, but they look like they'd been here a while. So before we throw the Fyre Festival here, maybe we need permission or at least an agreement with them. I doubt what you have in mind would go unnoticed. SAM: Should we send a group to sort of negotiate and introduce, or should we all go? TALIESIN: Good question. LIAM: Yeah. LAURA: How hard is it to get to the people? LIAM: Well, it's up that way. I think it might take a day or so, yeah? TRAVIS: I think we should go together, yeah? MATT: Based on how dense the jungle appears to be and how tight the canopy was, even though it's maybe, you're surmising, anywhere from five to eight miles from where you currently are, travel will be slow. So we'll say half a day, if not more, based on what gets in your way. SAM: Let's go. TRAVIS: Yeah, together. LIAM: Look, a couple of people are out. SAM: No, we're back. LIAM: Oh, that's it, huh? SAM: We saw shit. MARISHA: Yeah, it was foggy, foggy day in the forest. LIAM: I forgot how D&D works. ASHLEY: How many people are expected to come? LAURA: I think it was around 200? 20, maybe 20 people? SAM: Did he give you a number? LAURA: I feel like he gave me a number a long time ago. MARISHA: In between 200 and 20? LAURA: Yeah, 20 to 200. MARISHA: To 200? LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, somewhere around there. ASHLEY: Just so we know what kind of space-- LAURA: Depending on how many people don't die on the way here from the dragon turtle attack. ASHLEY: Yeah, because the dragon turtle and what else? TRAVIS: The weather that was brewing off in one direction, that's not near us or moving towards us, the storm that was moving in-- MATT: No, that was heading southward. It passed over. TRAVIS: Okay. Relatively clear, middle of the day? MATT: Yeah, actually. TRAVIS: Awesome, okay. TALIESIN: Perhaps, like, some people should set up some emergency stuff here, and then if it's all good, at this village, we could just bring everybody. Maybe they have an inn or something. LAURA: Did you see a doorway to the volcano at all? Like, can we go in it? TALIESIN: A restaurant? LIAM: I saw a fissure. LAURA: A fish area? LIAM: Yeah, a fish-- no. SAM: A fissure, a fissure. TALIESIN: Like a lake? LIAM: You know, we have been traveling together for a long time. I though you would have gotten used to my accent by now, but a crack, a hole. LAURA: Oh. TALIESIN: Oh! LIAM: Like a urethra. LAURA: Oh! LIAM: To the-- TRAVIS: To the penis. MARISHA: Oh, a fissure. LAURA: See? LIAM: That's what I said, yeah? LAURA: Beau knows. MARISHA: Yeah. LIAM: A fissure, a fissure. TALIESIN: Oh! LIAM: A fish area. MARISHA: Well, yeah, a fish area, yeah. TRAVIS: Like a tip. LIAM: No, not like a tit. TRAVIS: No, a tip, with a p. (laughter) LAURA: Wow. LIAM: Hey, we play games here. SAM: People aren't supposed to arrive for a week. Let's just take our half-day journey into the jungle and meet these people. LAURA: We'll figure it out. We should at least let them know that a lot of people could be on their way here. SAM: That's right. LIAM: And unlike the turtle, maybe we don't throw fireballs or vortexes at them. TALIESIN: No. LIAM: We just walk in. TRAVIS: Yes. SAM: Yeah. TRAVIS: Or at least observe first, reconnaissance, and then we decide, yeah? LIAM: Yeah. TRAVIS: If they look like they have a community, then I'm sure it'll be fine. LAURA: Yeah. MARISHA: Maybe they're looking to boost tourism in the area. This could be a good thing for the local economy. SAM: Yeah, that's true. LAURA: Yeah, we can trade with them. TALIESIN: Maybe they've been looking for a way off the island. MARISHA: Oh! TRAVIS: They'll just kill us and take our ship. SAM: Or we can give them-- TALIESIN: I mean, that would be an attempt. SAM: We can give them things in exchange for their hospitality. SAM: Yeah, we got stuff. TRAVIS: Let's go! MARISHA: What do we have? Hang on. TRAVIS: Let's go into the jungle! MARISHA: While we walk, what do we have? TALIESIN: Winning personalities. SAM: Cannonballs. MARISHA: Yeah. MATT: All right, in the interim, Orly and the rest of the crew set up there encampment on the beach there to help keep an eye on the ship, to also keep an eye for anybody who also is traveling inward, to the islands. LAURA: Hey, Orly! MATT: "(grunts)" LAURA: If you see a big dragon turtle coming to attack everything, play your bagpipes, okay, because they're really loud. MATT: "I'll take that as a compliment (sniffs). "Stay safe." TRAVIS: (laughs) LAURA: You, too. MATT: As you guys begin to head into the jungle, you can hear the classic warmup sound of (bagpipe honks). Yeah, it's great. TRAVIS: That was better than your war horn. TALIESIN: You got to get a little bagpipe in. (laughter) MATT: Look, as a Scotsman, I can't fuck up my bagpipes. (laughter) Almost immediately, upon entering the jungle, the density of the vine tangle is impressive. The shaded canopy of the trees is already climbing 100 or more feet into the air, which is further shattered by the network of intertwining vines that seems to cluster into the branches above and create, like, a net web, multiple layers, throughout this jungle, beyond just this open beneath-canopy. The air begins to slowly shift from the salty sea air into a sweet, earthy scent of lush vegetation, a damp ground, and, occasionally, you see little colorful flowers, orange and purple in color, that seem to be growing where the canopy begins to break up a bit, and a bit of light begins to make its way to the jungle floor. TALIESIN: Hey. LAURA: Yasha, Yasha. TALIESIN: You guys are real pretty. I'm assuming you're probably safe. We're not going to disturb you or anything, but yeah, if you got a thing, we'd appreciate if you didn't-- TRAVIS: Yasha might. TALIESIN: -- I don't know, eat us. We're just going to try and leave you to your thing. LAURA: Caduceus, will you ask if it's okay if Yasha takes some flowers? TALIESIN: Would it be all right if-- I don't know. Well-- No polite way to-- SAM: Can we kill some of you? ASHLEY: I never thought about picking flowers as a bad thing, but when you talk to plants, it makes me feel a little funny. TALIESIN: Well, I mean, they grow back, so it's more of just-- LAURA: It's like hair or fingernails. LAURA: It's more like hair. TRAVIS: Aww, you're pulling their fingernails out. SAM: Like picking fingernails off of somebody. TALIESIN: Would it be all right if we just took one, just to remember you by? MATT: You gather the nearby trees and foliage heard you. TALIESIN: Yep, I don't know. TRAVIS: Heard you. MARISHA: Technically, it's like picking their genitals. LAURA: What? Whoa. SAM: (laughs) MARISHA: It's-- what? That's science. I am not-- LAURA: No! TRAVIS: You're pickin' a testes. TALIESIN: Never thought of it that way. MARISHA: That's how they have sex! TRAVIS: Picking a pube. MARISHA: Yeah. LIAM: I did not want to say it out loud, but it is a bit like pubic hair. MARISHA: Yeah. LAURA: But that's fine. It's like trimming a pubic hair. That's all, Yasha. SAM: What on earth are you people talking about? MARISHA: Picking flowers! Clearly! MATT: Look, The Dwendalian public school system, unfortunately, was lost on-- LIAM: That is just science, Veth. MARISHA: That's high-level shit. TRAVIS: Not a lot of sexual awareness-- ASHLEY: I'm going to pick one of the flowers. TRAVIS: -- in the Dwendalian Empire. MATT: Which one? There is an orange variety that are about that large or so, and there are a handful, you can see as you begin this travel, of purple, that are a little larger and anchored independently at the base of a few of these trees. SAM: The purple ones are really nice. LIAM: Ja. MARISHA: Purple ones are rare. ASHLEY: I mean, I really wanted to go for a purple one, but that one feels like a-- I'm going to pick a purple one. TRAVIS: Yeah! MATT: Okay. TALIESIN: Oh boy. ASHLEY: Yeah, I know. I know what's coming. LIAM: Ah! MATT: You walk over and reach towards the base of this purple flower. (laughter) TALIESIN: I'm going to-- one more time, I'm going to use a charisma bonus. Please don't do anything terrible to us. I'm so sorry. I'm going to attempt to influence the flower not to do something. MATT: Okay. TRAVIS: Cup the base! MATT: Make a persuasion check. TALIESIN: So I have advantage on this. LIAM: This group has been so horny for D&D, for three months. TALIESIN: Make a persuasion check, okay. 22! MATT: The dental dam is burst. (laughter) TALIESIN: 22. MATT: 22, okay. ASHLEY: I very gently cup underneath. MATT: Right, right, and as you give it-- TRAVIS: One hand or two? MATT: You give it just a little tug. ASHLEY: When I feel some resistance, I put another hand. MATT: Okay, and you know what? ASHLEY: It really comforts the pulling. MATT: It pops right off. (giggling) ASHLEY: Great. TRAVIS: No endurance. TALIESIN: It usually takes a lot longer. MATT: You have effectively deflowered the plant. But you have this beautiful purple flower. ASHLEY: I'll mark the deflowering down in my book of many-- yeah. TALIESIN: The book of conquests. ASHLEY: Book of conquests. SAM: Does it smell good? MATT: Three months. ASHLEY: Oh yeah, how does it smell? SAM: Musky? MARISHA: (giggles) MATT: No, this smells very saccharine-sweet. In fact, smelling very closely to it, I would like you to make a wisdom saving throw. LAURA: Oh! TALIESIN: Yep. ASHLEY: Okay, okay. SAM: Guidance! MATT: You have no idea this is happening. SAM: I don't have Guidance. ASHLEY: Okay. TRAVIS: Shout it out. ASHLEY: Let's do this one. TALIESIN: I'm so excited. I was waiting for this. ASHLEY: Nine. LAURA: Oh! MATT: Nine? ALL: Nein! MATT: Okay. You smell this very sweet, floral honey smell to it. ASHLEY: This smells so good. MATT: And you immediately feel your mouth salivating, and your stomach begin to gurgle, and you compulsively find yourself-- and you all watch as Yasha begins to stuff this freshly-picked purple flower into her mouth. TALIESIN: Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm going to try and-- oh, no. MARISHA: Does she always do that? SAM: She eats weird shit. She eats rats. MARISHA: Is this a Xhorhas thing? MATT: As you go and try and pull it out, she animalistically pulls away and continues to chew. TALIESIN: Oh boy. SAM: No, that's fine. She just likes eating weird shit. LAURA: Yasha, don't eat it! SAM: She's mostly animal. MATT: Make a constitution saving throw for me, Yasha. ASHLEY: Oh no. Okay. LAURA: Uh-oh. This is how we die. ASHLEY: Oh, oh, oh. 21. MATT: 21. As you devour a part of this flower, it smells great. The flavor is very ashy and unpleasant, bitter, and the flower petals seems to crumble in your gullet, and this burning sensation begins to take from the inside of your throat and inside your chest. You resist it, though. You're used to eating harsh things in the wastes of Xhorhas to survive, and you manage to shrug off what may have been a more terrible experience. Right now, you're just suffering indigestion. ASHLEY: It has a little bit of spice to it, but the top note smelled like it was going to be a lot sweeter than it was. SAM: Do you recommend it? Is it worth it? ASHLEY: I mean, I thought it was delicious. I think you should try it. TALIESIN: I'm going to vote no on that. That seems a-- LIAM: You are sweating a little bit. MARISHA: Yeah, you got, like, hives. Some red. TALIESIN: There's some gunk coming out. MARISHA: Just a little. ASHLEY: I got a little color? MARISHA: Just a little, yeah. LIAM: It's your nodes. MARISHA: I think it's more prominent, because you're so pale. TALIESIN: Kind of violet, yeah. ASHLEY: Oh, a little violet? TALIESIN: Yeah, it looks like a swelling. TRAVIS: Did you manage to salvage any of the flower, or did you eat all of it? ASHLEY: I couldn't. It was such an overwhelmingly good smell. I had to consume the whole thing. TRAVIS: You had to eat that shit. LAURA: Can I go down and look at the stem of the flower? Is there any of that, like, you know how some flowers have white stuff that comes out of the stem when you pick it? MATT: Yeah. LAURA: Can I look and see if it has any of that white stuff coming out? MATT: Sure. (laughter) ASHLEY: He's writing it down, like, "uh..." LAURA: I'm not trying to be dirty. I'm literally talking about, like, dandelions. MATT: No, I know what you're talking about. You're just also Laura Bailey, so we all assume. (laughter) SAM: Does the purple shaft have white stuff coming out of end of it? (laughter) TRAVIS: What if we shake it? MATT: It does not. LAURA: It doesn't. MATT: No. LIAM: This is three months of pent-up frustration. ASHLEY: Ah, but I want a flower for my book. LAURA: Go pick another one. ASHLEY: I'm going to grab the orange one. LAURA: Just don't smell it. MATT: Okay. LAURA: Keep it away from your face, Yasha. SAM: What is a flower for, if not to smell? LAURA: To dry and put it in your book. TALIESIN: Certainly not to eat. LIAM: Or appreciate growing in the wild. MATT: Okay, you pluck the orange one. LIAM: Then eat it. MATT: It is smaller. It doesn't seem to react to the plucking. SAM: Eat it! TALIESIN: Don't eat the-- no. ASHLEY: I'm going to press it into my book. MATT: Okay. ASHLEY: And I'm going to close it. TRAVIS: How is the general fog of the area, that we saw from outside the treeline? MATT: The mist is-- TRAVIS: The mist. MATT: It's not so thick where you lose visibility in 10 feet or all, but like-- Honestly, the dangling vines are more of a worry, as far as visibility than the mist itself. The mist really only becomes an issue, obscuring about 30 to 40 feet from where you are. It begins to really make things a little hard, beyond shapes and elements of light that do manage to come through, beneath the canopy. SAM: As a scientist, I'm going to take two clippings of two more of those purple flowers, just to take back with us. MATT: Okay, go for it. Mark it down. You have purple flower clippings from Rumblecusp. SAM: Great. MARISHA: Caduceus. TALIESIN: Yeah? MARISHA: Doesn't fog normally burn off at a certain time of day? Or does this feel right to you? TRAVIS: The marine layer should've dissipated by this point. TALIESIN: I mean, I appreciate that you're asking me that, but I think this may have been one of the first couple of islands I've ever been on, and we don't really have whatever marine layer-- MARISHA: Landlocked, yeah. TALIESIN: Mist, I don't know. I mean, there's a volcano, too. I don't know if that affects things. TRAVIS: Doesn't feel quite right. I mean, perhaps, it's some sort of geothermal activity. It's not normal. MARISHA: That's a good point, though. Can I do, like, a quick scan? Do I see any type of fissures leaking through the jungle or anything? LIAM: On the sides of the volcano? MATT: Make a perception check. TALIESIN: Does the mist have a scent? TRAVIS: Yeah, I was going to say. MATT: Yeah, if you're glancing around the vicinity. MARISHA: Goddamn it, fucking balls. Nine. MATT: Nine. MARISHA: Nine. MATT: You don't see anything that resembles that sort of a geothermal activity, as Fjord was saying. TALIESIN: Does the mist have a scent or a taste, the air? MATT: The air still has that earthy combination of sweet decomposition meets wet dirt and earth, but nothing-- TALIESIN: There's no sulfur in the mist? MATT: No, no sulfur in the air, no. This is not Rotorua. LIAM: And it's real damn hot, right? MATT: It's pretty warm, especially at this point in the day. The canopy gives you shade, which helps. The beach itself is a lot hotter. And the mist doesn't make it more humid. It's helping cool the interior of the shaded canopy. TALIESIN: Is the ground warm? MATT: The ground is not warm. TALIESIN: All right, well, that's good. TRAVIS: Can I fire off a Divine Sense and just check 60 feet around us? MATT: Yeah. You take a moment to concentrate and take in the presence of your surroundings. Nothing catches your mind. TRAVIS: Celestial, fiend, or undead. Okay. SAM: So paranoid. TRAVIS: Good to carry on? SAM: Yeah, of course, we're just walking through the woods. MATT: It's hard to shake, but since you've entered here, and you've all been shrugging it off independently, but you all start looking to each other, there's a nervousness in your stomach you can't quite explain. There's a sense, and you catch other members of your party occasionally quickly looking over their shoulders, and there's an element of feeling like you're being watched, but you see nothing watching you. SAM: We're fine. We're fine! LAURA: Fine. SAM: Let's just keep going. LAURA: We just had to go say hi to these people. SAM: That's right, the people in the woods. MARISHA: What if they hate us? SAM: How could you hate us? TRAVIS: Do you hate us? TALIESIN: We are pretty charming. MARISHA: Of course not, no, I'm just-- I also know how we present, which is assholes, sometimes. TRAVIS: That's true. LIAM: How long have we been traveling, at this point, towards this village? MATT: You've only been but an hour into the jungle. You still have quite a ways of travel. LIAM: And we thought half a day to a whole day to get there? MATT: Yeah. LIAM: All right. LAURA: Oy. I'm going to leave a Traveler statue on the ground. MATT: Okay. LAURA: I'm going to leave a little trail of Traveler statues as we walk. MATT: You got it, you got it. Can I get a marching order as you guys continue to push further into the jungle, please? LIAM: I'll take the middle of the line. MATT: All right, we have-- LIAM: Because I have 70-something hit points. SAM: I'll take point. MARISHA: I'll be behind Veth. MATT: All right, you have Veth taking point. We have Beauregard, along with, pardon me, along with Veth. TRAVIS: I'll be behind Beauregard. ASHLEY: I'll take the back. LAURA: I'll be between Caleb and Yasha. LIAM: So it's Veth, Beauregard, Fjord? MATT: Caduceus? TALIESIN: I'll be behind Yasha. LIAM: Right now, I would be behind Fjord. TALIESIN: Whichever is far enough away from Jester. MATT: Okay, so we'll put you at the back then. LAURA: Right. MATT: Okay, so we have Caduceus at the back, then Yasha, then Jester, Caleb, Fjord, Beau, and Veth. TALIESIN: Eyes of the Grave, for fun, just popping it on for a second. MATT: Yeah, no worries. You take a moment and focus on your surroundings. You sense the color of the world drop for a moment, as you tune into the essence of undeath around you. And as your eyes open-- and Yasha, you see this. It's the first time you've really watched Caduceus going into this brief mode, but the eyes are black. And then he blinks and have returned to normal. Nothing catches your attention. TALIESIN: All right. ASHLEY: Wow. TALIESIN: Nothing undead. Just keeping an eye out. ASHLEY: Your eyes just went completely black. TALIESIN: Oh, like this? Thaumaturgy. ASHLEY: (gasps) I don't know how I haven't noticed that before, but that's very cool. TALIESIN: Yeah, watch this. Purple, red, green, yellow. (laughter) TALIESIN: Rave. (fingers snapping) SAM: (electronic dance beat) LIAM: Just Taliesin changing his hair. TALIESIN: Yeah. MATT: Beauregard, you're the first to notice. within this second hour of travel pushing through this jungle. There are times where, as you're leading the troop, Veth, you have to pull out your dagger and cut through. The vines are just too dense. And there's no clear path or previously walked avenues here that would be easier to traverse. You begin to notice signs of footprints in some of the lower troughs between the bases of these heavy, rooted trees. MARISHA: What kind of footprints? MATT: Some look beast-like, though you can't quite, at a glance, make out the shape. They are large and the gait seems to be multiple footprints in a walking pattern. MARISHA: Just animal/beast tracks or-- MATT: Make a nature check. MARISHA: -- animal with humanoid-- okay. Nature check? MATT: Just to see if you recognize-- LIAM: Dubstep. MARISHA: 13. MATT: 13. The tracks you see are not deep, and you can't quite make out what type of creature, but you assume, based on the faint claw marks and the lightness of their pressure, based on the size, that they're probably some sort of predatory creature. MARISHA: Okay. MATT: A little ways forward, you do see some humanoid footprints. MARISHA: Okay. MATT: And because you're at the front, and you have a really high passive perception, you also notice, in one of the tree trunks, you can see some carvings to the right, as you push forward. MARISHA: Using my background, do I recognize it as a cant of some sort or any type of, like, communication? MATT: It is not a particular language, but the marking is deliberate, and it looks like a circle with a dot in the center and a line in one direction, and it's pointing in the direction you guys are traveling. And because of your high passive investigation, you surmise that these are markings used by anyone who traverses these jungles, probably from the village that Caleb was mentioning, to ensure that if they ever get lost, it can guide them in the direction to get home. MARISHA: Okay, okay. TRAVIS: So we go the other way (laughs). MATT: Fjord, great on the water, a little shifty on land. (laughs) SAM: Yeah, Beau, Beau, I'm grateful for you noticing all this stuff, but I'm taking point, so I mean-- MARISHA: Well, I'm behind you, and you're so short, so I can just see-- SAM: I know, but you're just kind of making me look like an asshole a little. MARISHA: Well, no, you were-- SAM: You're seeing everything. And I'm not seeing anything. MARISHA: My successes don't deter from you as a person. SAM: I just feel like a failure, a little bit. MARISHA: Don't compare yourself to me. It's an impossible task. LIAM: Are we there yet? (laughter) MATT: While they're having this conversation, Caleb, you're listening to this, but looking around your surroundings, and you can glance up, in that larger netted canopy of vines and branches that entwine and create these small tethered pathways, too thin perhaps for a heavier creature to traverse, but you glance up, and you can see a shadowed shape, pressed against one of the trees, chest curving around upon one of these, with these faintly glowing eyes, just peering down, straight at you. LIAM: Do they seem like eyes as large as my own or something smaller than my own? MATT: Larger that yours. LIAM: Okay. SAM: I'm just saying, you should let me notice something every once in a while. MARISHA: Okay, well, you know what? You can help me with these tracks. Do you know how to-- SAM: I don't know anything about animals. MARISHA: Well, what do you got? LAURA: I'm going to go up to the cant that Beau found, and I'm just going to add a couple more lines. (laughter) TRAVIS: Fucking trickster ass cleric! TALIESIN: Oh no. MARISHA: Just switching the street signs, yeah (laughs). TRAVIS: Oh man! LIAM: Hold on a moment. MATT: You're a terrible person. LIAM: My shoelace has come untied. And I pull a small copper wire out, and I say to Veth, yeah, okay, there are things in the trees. We are not alone. MARISHA: I mean, I'm just saying you can pull your own weight. SAM: I noticed something. I just noticed something. MARISHA: Oh really? SAM: Yep, I noticed something in the trees. LAURA: Did you say it that loud? TRAVIS: Yes. SAM: Yep. Ah! MATT: Caleb. LIAM: Yeah? MATT: At this point, you're watching this thing, and, Caduceus, as you guys have traversed, you pick up on this thing, too. TALIESIN: Oh boy! MATT: You see what looks to be a-- it's hard to make out the defined shape, because the moment you glance up and notice it, it shifts and notices you getting a clock on it, and it curves around, behind the tree, out of sight. But then you also both hear, and, Beauregard, you hear this, too, you hear the sound (thumps) of two sets of light feet hitting the ground from behind that tree. MARISHA: Okay, we're being stalked. TALIESIN: I'm just going to say-- SAM: You're welcome. TALIESIN: We're-- MARISHA: (sputters) What? TALIESIN: We're not here to hurt anybody, and if you just let us go on our way. We're just heading our way. We won't be trouble. TRAVIS: Are you saying that to the trees again? TALIESIN: I'm saying it to anything that's listening. LIAM: I pull out a small, clay, pyramid-shaped statue that I have, with little glyphs and characters all over it, and I cast Tongues on myself. SAM: Ooh. MATT: All right. LAURA: I'm going to Invoke Duplicity. MATT: Okay. (whooshes) Secondary Jester appears to the right side. You cast Tongues on yourself. TALIESIN: I love that. MARISHA: Everyone maybe-- SAM: Can everyone [inaudible]? TRAVIS: We saw, like, a monkey in the trees, and all of a sudden, we're on full fucking lockdown. I don't know why. TALIESIN: I don't think that was a-- LIAM: Oh goodness. MARISHA: I think it's got claws. LIAM: I think that we are almost to the village that I caught wind of. I'm saying out loud, and anything that can hear me can understand me right now. I hope we can find somewhere to rest peacefully for the night. MARISHA: Yeah, no, that was always the goal. LAURA: Yeah, Caleb, that's what we want to do. MARISHA: You didn't have to like state that to us. TRAVIS: I think he's, you know-- MARISHA: Oh! ASHLEY: (stilted) Yes, just a place to rest so nicely. MATT: Okay-- TALIESIN: It may not-- TRAVIS: Yasha, you also have Tongues? MATT: Caleb, Caduceus, Beauregard-- ASHLEY: Shit. MATT: -- the three of you guys now see, from around that trunk of that tree, where that entity was, the shape leaps to another tree and comes around the corner, thinking that it's out of sight, but still visible, and a second pair of eyes now appears to the right side of you. And you hear this faint (growls). TALIESIN: Oh, oh! MARISHA: It might have us surrounded. LAURA: Clever girl. MARISHA: There might be multiple-- TALIESIN: Guys, I really wouldn't. You don't know what you're getting into. LIAM: Yeah, hello, we are not here to pick any fights. We are just trying to get by. MATT: You can see this-- LIAM: So perhaps step out, and we could just discuss this. MATT: -- this large black panther-like creature begins to emerge from the shadows, with these two additional lengthy tentacle-like appendages that curl. LIAM: No. MATT: Its image (whooshes)-- LIAM: No, Matthew. MATT: Kind of distorts slightly. MARISHA: Oh no! Oh! TRAVIS: No. LAURA: Oh no! LIAM: Those are not humanoids. MARISHA: Oh, kitties. MATT: They are not humanoids. LIAM: No. MATT: And you see a second one now, coming around from that initial growl sound. LIAM: It's been a long time since Campaign One. LIAM: And a third one begin to come from behind. LAURA: Uh-oh! MATT: They've surrounded you, at this point. MATT: As you guys begin to look amongst them. SAM: Clever girl. LIAM: Meow! LAURA: Clever girl! MARISHA: All right. MATT: They're not attacking yet. They're just slowly closing the circle. MARISHA: So they're, okay, all right. TRAVIS: Who's got a big display, hmm? Something that looks big and loud and dangerous? MARISHA: I still have firecrackers. LIAM: No! SAM: There's Fluffernutter. LIAM: No, no, no, no. LAURA: I've got quasit chunks. I'm going to pull them out and throw them. MARISHA: I'm going to light a firecracker and throw it, too. SAM: Oh boy. LAURA: All right, you watch quasit chunks (air whooshing), and they (snorts). (air whooshing, sputtering) (snarling) TRAVIS: Cool, cool! LAURA: Oh, why, Beau? MARISHA: (laughs) MATT: Right at this point, you hear this earth-shattering roar, from out of nowhere. (roaring, booming) Heavy footfalls getting louder and louder. TRAVIS: What? MATT: You see the creatures shift over and look to the right side. As suddenly a shape, a blur of fur and muscle and rock seems to just slam out of the side of the jungle. You see a flash of a reflective light or metal just (hisses) streak across the middle of the air, and you watch as one of these panther creatures (shrieks) screams out in pain, as it backs away, itself leaving a trail of blood. You all look around and see this massive, like massive, bear. (growling) MARISHA: Well, we took care of the cat problem. MATT: The bear, bipedal and holding on to what looks to be a massive great ax, as it withdraws, and swings a second time. As it goes towards and strikes the same creature, the creature (whooshes) shifts out of the way and was in the wrong place. (roars) Rushes forward and it's not paying attention to you guys. It is just going to town on this one displacer beast. One strike after another, as the creature's trying to attack. Its tentacles whipping out and hitting it. Are you guys just watching? TRAVIS: No, let's fucking get in there! LAURA: Go help him! MARISHA: Go, go, let's go, let's go. LAURA: The bear is carrying a weapon! TRAVIS: Are there two other displacer beasts now? MATT: You go and look, and they've scattered. TRAVIS: The displacer beasts have scattered? MATT: The other two are just (whooshes). They're rushing off and have vanished into the jungle. There is this one now, a second bear-like creature, comes rushing out of the side of where the displacer beast is backing into, and immediately just grabs it and (crunches) tears its head off its shoulders. As you guys are all preparing to engage in this, you can see the one displacer beast now lies limp on the ground, and these two hulking bipedal bears just kind of stand there (pants). TRAVIS: Maybe do your Tongue shit. LIAM: Thank you. LAURA: That was amazing! MATT: The larger of the two turns around. (roars) TALIESIN: Anybody need a heal? LIAM: Speaking through Tongues, thank you. We have just arrived, and we are strangers here, and you have just saved our lives, and we would like to repay the favor. LAURA: Tell them they're really cool looking. LIAM: They know that. MATT: You watch as their bear form seems to shimmer for a second before it begins to shrink-- TRAVIS and LAURA: (gasp) MATT: -- and slightly withdraw, and left in its place, you see a half-elf female form, muscular, built like a barrel, or a keg, if you will, but elven, with patches of hair across their body, amongst tattered leathers, a pair of standard, nice, tailored pants that are like just torn and dirty as fuck. The elf woman has these muttonchops that come down to the edge of the chin, very uncommon for an elf. The other bear is halting in the other side, smaller than the elven bear, begins to slowly revert to, and you know see, a humanoid man, younger, baby-faced, though also very muscular, in torso and arms, shirtless but just covered in heavy, thick patches of wiry hair, toss the axe to the ground and go, "Well, thank you for distracting him. "At least, it helped us get one kill." LAURA: (gasps) You-- TALIESIN: That was really cool. SAM: Whoa! LAURA: Are you here for Traveler Con, too? SAM: (laughs) I don't think so. MATT: "What's Traveler Con?" And the elf woman goes, "Don't worry about him. "He's, uh, well, he-- "Hmm. He's a nice guy. "Who are you? "What are you doing here?" SAM: Is she speaking Common? MATT: She's speaking Common, yeah. TALIESIN: Oh. LAURA: Well-- SAM: Hi! MARISHA: We're The Mighty Nein. MATT: "All right." LIAM: We've been on the island for less than a day. MATT: "Oh, welcome, welcome, we're happy to have you." SAM: Oh. LIAM: Are you from the village we are aware of, further up the way? MATT: "We both are." And then he goes, "That's true. "Have you come to join us, as well?" SAM: Join, join, join the village? TRAVIS: How long have you been a part of this village? MATT: And they both look at each other. (as man) "As far as I can remember. "What about you?" (as woman) "A long time, a few years at least, I think." TRAVIS: And were you stranded, shipwrecked, on this island, and you all came together, or was it an intentional community that you started? LAURA: Have you always been bears? MATT: They both look at each other and chuckle for a minute. (as man) "We've both been bears." And you can see the guy scratches this bite mark on his shoulder and goes, "Well, I mean, "I wasn't originally, but, you know, "some circumstance get out of hand." TALIESIN: Where are you from, originally, out of curiosity? MATT: As you're asking these questions, they're both now starting to take the displacer beast and tie its legs up and find a local branch to get it ready for travel and bringing it back to the village. SAM: Maybe we could help you. ASHLEY: You need any help? I can take that for you and carry it. MATT: "I mean, you're welcome to. "It'll make it easier." TALIESIN: Was one of them hurt by the displacer beast? MATT: No. TALIESIN: Okay. MATT: It seemed you guys holding their attention gave them the chance to actually sneak up upon one and take it out without an issue. TALIESIN: Yeah, where were from, originally, out of curiosity? MATT: The guy, after taking this branch and tying the top half of the front legs around the pole begins to direct you to go ahead and take care of the other side, as the female begins to take and wipe off the axe. He goes, "Um, "as for your question, I can't really recall, "but everything led to bringing me here, I think." TALIESIN: I'm so sorry, also. What are your names again? I feel so bad. MATT: "Oh, I'm Pono. "Sorry, my apologies. "I'm Pono. "This is Jaina." Jaina goes like, "That I am. "Pleasure to meet all of you. "Well, uh--" TALIESIN: And, Jaina, do you remember where you're from, out of curiosity? SAM: These are probing questions, Mr. Caduceus. MATT: "West?" SAM: Maybe we'll just-- TALIESIN: I'm working a theory. MATT: "West, I think." TALIESIN: West? West is nice. MARISHA: But you also can't remember? MATT: (as Pono) "You see, the thing is, "a lot of us here have a hard time remembering." MARISHA: Uh-huh. TALIESIN: Do you have any siblings? LAURA: Do you eat the flowers? MATT: (as Jaina) "No, you're not supposed to eat the flowers. "That's a problem. "Do you eat the flowers?" TRAVIS: One of us did. MATT: "Which one of you ate the flowers?" ASHLEY: I tried it. MATT: "And how are you feeling?" ASHLEY: I feel fine. It was just a little bit, had, like, a little bit of a spice to it. MATT: "(laughs)" She punches you in the shoulder and is like, "You'll be fine." SAM: What could happen if you ate the flowers? MATT: "You're a bit skinny. "You'll be fine. "Don't eat the flowers." SAM: Wait, wait, wait, wait. MATT: "Don't eat the flowers." SAM: What would happen if he ate the flowers? MATT: Kind of points to Yasha, points to Caleb, "Don't eat the flowers." She goes and grabs the part of the stick as well, the center, where the displacer beast is picked up, and Pono is now pointing for you to grab the back half and be like, "Well, come on, come on, "you're helping, right? "You coming?" SAM: Yeah, sure. ASHLEY: Yeah. MATT: "(grunts)" LIAM: Climb the hill and see where you live? MATT: "Yeah, we'll talk along the way. "It's easier that way. "And they begin trekking in the direction "where the now defaced marker would be pointing, "towards the village." LAURA: (groans) SAM: Is there a leader of your village? MATT: "We've got three leaders of our little community here. "Do you not know, I mean, what found you here, "if you don't know about who we are?" LAURA: Well, there's this god who's really awesome. MATT: "So you do know about this place?" TALIESIN: Whoa. LAURA: The Traveler? MATT: "No." LAURA: Who are you talking about? Oh god, are we going to have to fight a god to get to Traveler Con? SAM: No, no, no, maybe they just call him a different name. TALIESIN: Yeah. LAURA: What god are you talking about? MATT: "We are of the Vo community, "and we all worship the great fire god Vokodo, "of which this island is home to, "as the center of Exandria. "This here is where all life is given birth "and all time comes to rest. "I'm glad you've made this journey. "There's something quite beautiful here." LIAM: Let them fight. TRAVIS: Vokodo, you said? TALIESIN: Oh no. MATT: "Vokodo." MARISHA: Ono? LAURA: Voko-- LIAM: Vokoto? MATT: "Vokodo." ALL: Vokodo. MATT: As they're still trudging through the forest. ASHLEY: What do you call your-- SAM: The Vo people? MATT: "The Vo, we are people of this fire god. "I think you've seen his home," and points past a bit of the canopy where you can see the peak of a volcano itself, with the smoke-- SAM: The big zit. MATT: -- is rising out. TALIESIN: Oh boy. MATT: So what would you call that, the mountain with smoke? What do you call that? MATT: "That is Vokodo." ASHLEY: The volcano? TALIESIN: The home of-- MATT: "Vokodo exists both within "and is that." MARISHA: Of Vokodo. TALIESIN: Oh, that makes sense. Thank god. MATT: "Vokodo." LAURA: Does Vokodo-- TRAVIS: Oh my god. LAURA: Did he make you a bear? MATT: "No, no, no, no, this has been an affliction "that I've worked on most of my life, "got in a bit of a tussle with this boy, "but he's taking good care of it." And he's like, "Aye, you know they call it a curse, "but, thankfully, she knows her way around, "and it's helped me a bit." LAURA: It's awesome. I wouldn't call it a curse. I would call it a blessing. MATT: "Well, you're sweet." LIAM: Is it common in your village, or are you the only two who are dealing with it? MATT: "Us and one other, but it's, well, "it's just kind of our thing. "We're part of the hunting crew." TRAVIS: Yes, we're sort of an early party to a larger group that might be showing up here. We left a ship, actually, on the southeastern part of the island. MATT: "Oh, wonderful." TRAVIS: Being chased by a giant dragon turtle. MATT: "We could always use more." TRAVIS: Dragon turtles or ships? MATT: "No, people coming. "Dragon turtle, that's not good at all." LAURA: Have you ever seen one? MATT: (as Jaina) "I have not, no. "Have you?" (as Pono) "No, no, I haven't. Sounds bad." LAURA: They might have. They just don't remember it. TRAVIS: I'm very curious to see your community. Have you just built it up from the natural resources around you, out of the wildlife or-- MATT: (as Jaina) "Mostly, I think. "The folks who were here before me, "they told me that they've been building this "for quite some time, and then, one day, "I arrived, but they say it's always been here." TALIESIN: How often do people come visit, out of curiosity? MATT: "We usually get a few folks, every, "time's kind of a weird thing, "every few months, maybe." TALIESIN: So-- I mean, I've never heard of this place before. I don't know, not that I know a lot of places. How often do people leave to get supplies or pick up-- TALIESIN: Does anyone ever leave at all? MATT: "No folks seem to leave, usually. "We find what we need here to survive, "and Vokodo provides what's necessary, "and we give back to Vokodo, "as part of that blessing cycle." LAURA: What do you give Vokodo? LIAM: Yeah, what do you give to Vokodo? MATT: "Oh, we give Vokodo the gems "and the glistening ripe gifts of Exandria herself. "There are deep mines, all across this island." TRAVIS: Oh, gemstones and-- MATT: "Aye." TRAVIS: Oh. MATT: "Scavenged bits, "all sorts of treasure. "This isn't a place of commerce." LAURA: Do you give Vokodo people? MATT: "No, no, no." LIAM: How many-- How many of them are you? LAURA: Insight check! MATT: Make an insight check, go for it, go for it. Make an insight check. ASHLEY: This is reminding me of something. TRAVIS: Fire, fire god. LAURA: 21. MARISHA: Vokodo. MATT: 21. I can't come over and give you a whisper. LAURA: Oh, I get a whisper! SAM: Text it to her. LAURA: Yeah, text it to me, text it to me. MATT: I'll just tell you, because it's easier right now. LIAM: We'll just pretend that we don't know. MATT: Exactly. LIAM: Because we're actors. TALIESIN: ♪ La, la ♪ MATT: No, they genuinely don't think that's the case. TRAVIS: Okay. LAURA: Okay. TRAVIS: And does Vokodo have a shape, a form, a great beast, huge? MATT: (as Pono) "Well, I've not seen them. "They live within the mountain itself. "But from what I hear, it's a great fiery beast, "an entity that resembles and encompasses the creation "of the world and its eventual destruction, "but here is its home, its nest, "and we care to it, "and as such, are given whatever we need." SAM: Do you guys, do any of you in the tribe do, like, (breathing like "Midsommar") hoh-hah, ever? Is that something any of you ever do? MATT: "Breathing?" SAM: Hoh-hah! TRAVIS: I think it's the other way. Isn't it hah-hoh? SAM: Hah-hoh! LAURA: No. SAM: No, it's hoh-hah! Is that something that you guys do on the regular? MATT: They look at each other. LIAM: Do you group groan, do ya? MATT: "No." SAM: Okay, good, good to know, good to know. MATT: No, we have, as a hunting group, underneath Terra, we have certain calls, to make sure we know where we are. LAURA: Ah! MATT: "I can show you that." MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. MATT: And you watch as the elven woman, Jaina, goes and gives out this weird (sung tones) sound, this faint bird noise. TALIESIN: Oh, I'll learn how to do that. TRAVIS: Yes. LAURA: Can I try it? MATT: Wait, did you just do that to summon someone else, or that's just what you do? MATT: "I don't hear any returning hunting parties, "so we're not close to any of the others under Terra." TALIESIN: I'm going to try and do that. LAURA: (imitates Jaina) LIAM: Caduceus, play your flute. TALIESIN: Oh, I don't have my flute anymore. SAM: Hey, maybe when we get there. LIAM: What?! MATT: He gave the flute to his sister. TALIESIN: I gave my flute away. LIAM: That's terrible. TRAVIS: I actually cannot wait to see your community. This great fiery beast, are the flames a certain color? LAURA: (imitates Jaina) MATT: "I have not seen. "There are some. "In fact, our spiritual leader has gone to visit this god. "Viridian, oh you should meet Viridian. "She could probably answer your questions." SAM and TRAVIS: Viridian? SAM: Is that one of the three leaders? MATT: "Yes, yes, there's Terra, who's the leader "of the hunting parties and our personal individual. "There's Lukash, who is in charge of construction "and organization of the actual community. "And then there is Viridian, "who is the spiritual leader, "and the one who "guides everyone "underneath the eye of Vokodo." TALIESIN: Oh. SAM: This sounds amazing. We're so fortunate to have met you. Yes, we'd love to be introduced to the rest of your village and then maybe we could talk to your three leaders about our plans, while guests here. MATT: "Of course." LAURA: Yeah, do you have any, like, big hotels or anything? MATT: "Don't have much in the way of, like, inns or hotels, "but we have places you could stay. "There's some room, "but we can start putting on something together, for you. "It's always expanding. "We're cutting down and making this place just grow "and swell with each new member." SAM: Amazing. LIAM: Have you any memories of the mainland, outside of this island? MATT: "I mean--" LIAM: Do you remember an inn? MATT: And she looks over to Pono, and Pono goes, "The thing is, "when you come to "the center of the world, "the rest of it doesn't matter that much." SAM: You know, sometimes, Cay-Cay, sometimes, people just don't want to remember some things, right, Caleb? I mean-- LIAM: Yeah, but the center of the world seems like such a-- MARISHA: An opinion? Yeah. LIAM: Subjective thing. SAM: I mean, we all think we're the center of our worlds, right? LIAM: We're all the center of our own world. MATT: "And yet, you found yourself here. "And that is a true sign "of a blessed guided journey, is it not?" SAM: It is not. (laughter) LIAM: That's some pretty culty talk. LAURA: I think the Traveler and Vokodo should definitely meet. MATT: "I mean, this Traveler's your god, you say?" LAURA: Mm-hmm. MATT: "That would be interesting." SAM: Maybe they know each other, already. LAURA: Maybe they do. I mean, you know, the Traveler gets around, so he's been here already. SAM: If there's a-- LIAM: He's a pretty big deal. MATT: "Then Viridian, you should, "definitely, speak to." SAM: I bet Traveler knows about him. TALIESIN: You mentioned an eye, the eye of-- MATT: "Oh, just at night, the glowing sight," and you see she points to the top of the mountain and Pono gives another backup point and goes, "Yeah, when it's real dark at night, "sometimes you can see the glowing top of the mountain, "and that, we know, is Vokodo looking down over us "and keeping us safe." TALIESIN: Oh, I'm really excited to see that. MARISHA: Or, you know, magma. LIAM: Right, it could just be where the rock surface is thinned to the point of where the-- TALIESIN: Don't displace the magic of this moment. SAM: This is their religion. TALIESIN: The natural world is wonderful. SAM: It's totally respectable. MARISHA: You just shat on their religion, like, 30 second ago. SAM: Never did, not at all. TALIESIN: Ah-- MATT: Beauregard, because you're all-- TRAVIS: Level 12? MATT: The same level, practically, of passive perception, you do notice that Pono, amongst the thick back hair, as he's walking, there's a very intricate tattoo that is hidden beneath that back hair. It's a unique symbol. It's like a little curved C with a line through it and another one behind it. You can make a history check, if you'd like. SAM: Chaos Crew? LAURA: The Clasp. LIAM: Natural 20! TRAVIS: Yeah! MATT: This is indeed a symbol of the Clasp, which is a prominent thieves' guild, largely based out of Tal'Dorei to the far west of Wildemount. SAM: Does Caleb know about them? MATT: Caleb would know about it from the history, with a history check. SAM: Oh, that was your history check. LIAM: Mm-hmm. SAM: Oh. MARISHA: Oh, okay. TRAVIS: Are we being poisoned by this mist? LIAM: Did you say where-- LAURA: That's what I think. LIAM: Or just from the mainland? LAURA: I think it's the mist. SAM: You said Tal'Dorei. MATT: Tal'Dorei is where the Clasp is based. LIAM: Okay. A far-off land that we're not from. MATT: To the west of Wildemount. LIAM: Yes, never been there. MATT: But nevertheless, you guys continue to journey along with them. They're happy to answer any questions you guys have on the way, if you have any more. TALIESIN: I'm pretty-- TRAVIS: Well, you mentioned Lukash, Viridian. You said there was a third leader. MATT: "Ah, Terra. Terra is our hunting master, "the one that helps guide and organize us "to procure the meats and the "destruction of the dangerous creatures "and denizens of the land, "to give thanks for their bountiful gifts "of their own bodies, of which we use to feed our community." TRAVIS: Because you seem to be a part of the hunting party, is Terra also a bear person? MATT: "Oh no, that's primarily just us. "There's one other lycanthrope on the island, "but they're more of the tiger variety." LAURA: Ooh! MATT: "We're an eclectic bunch. "We're from all over. "It's kind of fun. "We all get to mingle and see "who's going to show up next." LIAM: How many of you are there, here, approximately? MATT: "I'd say we're close "to maybe, like-- where we at?" Pono's like, "Last count, "I think we were close to 70." LAURA: Wah! That's a lot. SAM: Do the three make decisions as a group, as a triumvirate, or is there one who's a prime of the three? MATT: Jaina goes, "I mean, they all commune "over serious issues that require all their attention, "but they each have their own domains. "I guess Viridian's the spiritual head of that." SAM: And so if we were going to request a favor of your group, is there any advice you can give us, some gift that we could offer to sort of make ourselves in good favor? MATT: "Be nice, be helpful, show that you're useful "and part of the community." SAM: And never leave, right? Haha, right? TRAVIS: (laughs) MATT: "We're not keeping you here." SAM: Of course not, why would you? That would be weird. LIAM: But is your god, like, a vengeful god or a benevolent god, a relaxed and groovy? MATT: They both look at each other. "I don't know, we keep him happy, and he keeps us happy. "There hasn't really been a problem. "So I don't think it's a vengeful thing. "There's nothing to avenge." (laughs) MARISHA: When you talk about making these sacrifices, giving these gifts to Vokodo, how do you do that? How do you give back the gems? MATT: "Well, I'm not privy to that, neither is Pono, "but organizing, Viridian and other individuals, "when some of these treasures, these riches are gathered, "whether they be pulled from the earth, "whether they be scavenged from beneath the waves, "whether they be brought here "by those who washed up on shore, "these are gathered and brought to, apparently, "doors into the mountain itself. "And these are gifted to the god, and as such, "Vokodo thus brings the blessing down upon us." LAURA: You don't know where the doors are, though? MATT: "We're not privy to that, right?" And Pono's like, "We're not. "We're the hunters. "I wouldn't even know what to do if I went there, honestly. "I'd be too nervous." (laughs) ASHLEY: Wait, you might have already answered this, but who decides what the offerings are? MATT: "Well, Viridian speaks to Vokodo--" LAURA: Oh great! MATT: "And then through Viridian, "the offers are brought, but as far as I know, "it's mostly just whatever we can find." ASHLEY: Okay. TRAVIS: You said there are some mines on the island, yes? MATT: "Right." TRAVIS: Okay. MARISHA: And Vokodo primarily likes gems and metals, precious metals and treasures? MATT: "Things shiny." MARISHA: Things that are shiny. MATT: "Beautiful from the earth, "things that are brought in, well-crafted." LAURA: Oh my gosh, I bet Vokodo would like one of these! And I pull out a little Traveler dick statue. MATT: They both go, "Oh, I bet they would!" LAURA: Yep, yep, yep. MATT: "Oh, bring that to Viridian. "We'll add it to the pile." LAURA: I will. MATT: "All right." Oh, and I'd say, at this point, you're getting-- we'll say you've traveled for a while, and you've bantered back and forth a bit. TRAVIS: Jesus Christ. MATT: "We're coming up!" And as you guys begin to approach, you see the treeline begin to thin, and you can see there are a few stumps where some trees have been felled in the past. You can see, as the mist itself clears a bit from your vision, into the opening of this village. You are caught off guard by all the heavy ropes that are tied to these higher trunks and branches. You've heard Caleb describe them, but now you can see this massive tangle of the wildest Swiss Family Robinson series of tree houses that all create this community of makeshift, scavenged materials. You can see the scavenged ship parts. You can see local lumber, intricately woven in grown vines and dried vegetation. You see a third of the buildings that are built up above, in different levels, that are all connected by these same bridges that Caleb had mentioned earlier. The supports and frames to a lot of it, it shouldn't stand. A lot of this looks rickety, but you can see most of these structures are supported by thick, healthy vines, green vines that are braided and entwined and tend to hold and wrap around them, in a very unnatural way. The jungle itself seems to have risen to support and help hold this village together, structure to structure. So you have this patchwork, ramshackle look and this beautiful, natural growth aspect to it. You also can see the buildings are diverse in styles, materials, apparent age. Some look newer. Some look older. It's a very charming feel to it, and you can see figures that live here, beginning to come into view, look over at the arrival of both Jaina and Pono and their successful hunt, but this batch of newcomers, and with each face, smiles light up, and individuals wave. Dozens of these various denizens begin to stop their work and turn to look to your direction and, excitedly, though not too intensely, just look and take each of you in. Some folks rush off to tell others, "New arrivals!" Some are saying, "We grow under his joy," and give a blessing symbol with their hands. LAURA: Oh. MATT: Eventually, you have a crowd gather, of about 30 to 35 of the local villagers here, that begin to encircle around the base of the central massive tree that marks the middle point of this village. Here, the tree itself is lush and tall, maybe 200 or more feet up, with numerous levels of branches, and each of these branches is like a hand where the vines have grown out to clutch another small homestead, and all of these themselves have connected vine bridges. LAURA: (whispering) Wow. MATT: These vines are unnaturally directed and beautiful. It resembles a lot of the-- from what you guys have noticed in your travels, most of you would not have been to a high-elven establishment, but a lot of the architecture there resembles what naturally occurs here in the middle of the village, deliberate and balanced with the natural world around it. As you approach the people who have gathered, you see stepping out of the crowd that orcish figure that you noticed earlier. The tall orc figure steps, in his rusted ring mail, with a smile on his face. You can see the gray skin and bright smile, long hair that hangs to his belt, in multiple thick braids, and he wears a belt around the center of the ring mail, where you can see maybe a half dozen tools, jingle at the side. And as he approaches, "Ah, it has been some time since we've had new blood "in the village. Welcome. "I am Lukash. Oh--" He turns, and you can see one of the vines lowering and unfurls, and standing on the vine as it descends-- LAURA: What? MATT: Like Poison Ivy, as it unfurls, you see a half-elven woman, standing there, with dark, sunburned skin. You see dark-brown hair that is wild but sun-bleached at the tips. She stands with a presence that is formidable but a gentle smile and demeanor. She steps off from this vine, and you can see she's covered in leathers with elements of dried leaves and scales that blend together. The left leg is a vibrant green, made of tightly knotted vines, almost, and a staff descends into one hand, as she steps off of the vine and approaches. "And I am Viridian. "It is a pleasure to have you. "I'm curious, "what is your tale? "Please, tell us." And that's where we'll end tonight. ALL: Oh! No! TALIESIN: Oh boy. SAM: What is our tale? LIAM: Oh shit, we did it! We played the game, with a beginning, a middle, and an end! TRAVIS: (laughs) SAM: I like how during that whole description, Laura was like, "Ooh, this is creepy." You're organizing a cult! MARISHA: A cult, yeah, cult v. cult. SAM: In, like, seven days! LIAM: So much less established than these people. TALIESIN: This is somewhere I've been looking forward to. LAURA: Oh, maybe I should be taking notes. SAM: Yes! They've got their shit down. LAURA: "We grow under his blessing," or some shit like that. SAM: They have phrases. Come on, work on this stuff. LAURA: Wait, I need phrases. SAM: Yeah! LAURA: Oh, I need to work on some phrases. MARISHA: I don't want to say it. He's-- dragon? He's a dragon. Right? TRAVIS: I was thinking a dragon or maybe that purple phoenix that was at the beginning of the campaign, one of those three deities that's like-- ALL: Oh! TRAVIS: Or not the deities, like the other-- MARISHA: Oh, with the Uk'otoa shit. TALIESIN: Yeah, I was thinking that route. MARISHA: Worm and the phoenix. TALIESIN: But it's a purple fire or something like, blackish-purple. LAURA: Is she controlling the vines? Is that thing controlling the vines? Is the god controlling the vines? TRAVIS: Do you think if they're inhaling this mist-- we have, like, Lay on Hands, I could cure a disease or a poison and see if one of them snaps out of it? MARISHA: Maybe. SAM: What if we spend the night here, and we wake up with-- TRAVIS: That's what I mean! ASHLEY: No. MARISHA: What if we're all rolling saving throw, in the next morning. ASHLEY: The mist is-- TRAVIS: Fuck. LAURA: I think it's the mist. MARISHA: It's like the plane of Abyss, and the longer you're there, the more crazy you get. TRAVIS: It's got to be. LAURA: They said something about time, too, like, time stands still here. How long have these people been here? MATT: As a note, too, since you've entered this jungle, that feeling, that feeling of being watched, of looking over your shoulder, has never stopped. The displacer beast encounter, that seems to have had nothing to do with that sense, that creeping sense that has just always been there. LAURA: Avocado is the mist. LIAM: Yes. SAM and MATT: Avocado. SAM: Ah yes, The Mighty Nein: Insulting people's gods since 2020. MARISHA: Yeah. MATT: Hey, it's a brand. Anyway, we'll pick up on there next week. TRAVIS: Guys, we did it. MATT: We did it! We played an episode! Oh my god! MARISHA: Oh, we did it! LIAM: Ponzi scheme meet Ponzi scheme. (laughter) ASHLEY: Oh, this was so needed. TRAVIS: So good to be back. MATT: Oh, I missed you guys so much. TALIESIN: Oh man. MATT: Missed you guys so much. MARISHA: Hey, we did it. MATT: I've been fighting getting emotional, all night. TALIESIN: Mm-hmm. MARISHA: I'm going to sleep so hard after this. TALIESIN: Oh man. LAURA: Yeah. MATT: Well, thank you guys for joining us. We're so happy to be back. We're so happy to see you. LAURA: We love you. MATT: We love you guys so much. The world is dark. Find your light. We're happy to be that for each other. We hope we can be that for you, in some way. We love you very much. And is it Thursday yet? Good night. (cheering)