Transcript:Hope Within History

Pre-show
MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

ALL: (jumbled) We play Dungeons & Dragons.

LIAM: When you inherit a mic, I'll tell you about it.

LAURA: Agitate.

MATT: Yeah. (laughs) Before we jump into our episode tonight, we do have some announcements to get through, beginning with our sponsor tonight, The Void. Thank you for being there in the late nights while I'm trying to sleep. That's all. (laughter)

(clapping)

MATT: Marisha, Sam, you got an announcement to make?

SAM: Yes, we do.

TRAVIS: Oh.

MARISHA: The first three episodes of Midst--

TRAVIS: Midst.

MARISHA: -- are out now!

MATT and LAURA: Woo!

MARISHA: Wherever you get your podcasts.

TRAVIS: Yeah, baby!

MARISHA: You can also get Midst.

SAM: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Midst!

SAM: We hope you have been enjoying this incredible storytelling in this ongoing, fourth wall-breaking, reality-bending, science fantasy, space western audio series filled with unreliable narrators and performed for the enjoyment of your mind's eyes and your head's ears.

TRAVIS: Wow, wow.

MARISHA: (laughs) It's really cool. Go listen.

(laughter)

SAM: If you're itching for more, paid subscribers can enjoy the first five episodes on midst.co.

TRAVIS: .Co.

MARISHA: You can also get to check out all of the cool artifacts, the appendices and the artwork that relates to each episode for an even deeper look at this otherworldly frontier.

SAM: New episodes are available every Wednesday. If you've listened--

LAURA: (gravelly) Every Wednesday.

MATT: (extremely gravelly) Every Wednesday.

SAM: Congratulations. If you haven't, go check it out.

MARISHA: Go check it out.

SAM: Yay!

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: Midst.

TRAVIS: Midst.

MATT: (gravelly) Wednesday!

MARISHA: (laughs)

SAM: It's the Midstle of the week.

TRAVIS: (groans) Midstle.

MATT: Oh, you ruined it. You ruined it.

LAURA: I hate it.

MATT: Marisha.

(laughter)

MARISHA: You guys, I can't believe it's here.

SAM and TRAVIS: (gasp)

MARISHA: Creator Clash!

ASHLEY: Woo!

MATT: Oh man.

MARISHA: It's going down.

TRAVIS: (shouts) It's going down!

MARISHA: It's going down!

(whooping)

LAURA: Let's go.

MARISHA: (grunts)

SAM: Oh my god.

MARISHA: This Saturday.

LAURA: Oh my god!

MARISHA: I've been training for six months almost nonstop. I've--

ASHLEY: Look at those guns!

MARISHA: Basically my--

LAURA: Show the guns.

TRAVIS: Smith & Wesson, let's go.

SAM: No, don't show the guns! Don't show the guns! That's secret.

TRAVIS: That's right, yeah.

SAM: That's secret.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LAURA: Don't show anything that you know.

ASHLEY: She hasn't been doing anything.

TRAVIS: Don't show them the thunder and the lightning.

MARISHA: Don't show them a jab-cross?

TRAVIS: Let her experience the storm.

SAM: No!

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: Show them the flash on the horizon.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Yeah, it's fucking--

ASHLEY: Event Horizon.

MARISHA: This Saturday, which is bonkers and I'm a little excited and terrified all at the same time.

SAM: Are you ready?

(laughter)

MARISHA: We'll find out. We'll see.

SAM: I want confidence from you, Ray!

MARISHA: (shouts) Yeah, I'm ready!

SAM: I like it.

MARISHA: (grunts)

SAM and TRAVIS: (laugh)

MARISHA: Yeah, Saturday this April 15th. I'm still on this one bullet point. I haven't moved past it.

(laughter)

MARISHA: It's taking place at the Amalie Stadium in Tampa, which is where the Tampa Bay Lightning plays, you guys.

SAM: Whoa!

ASHLEY: I mean.

MATT: Speaking of lightning.

TRAVIS: NBD.

MATT: It's fucking awesome. I am facing off against the lovely Haley Sharpe, aka @yodelinghaley. She's so sweet.

ASHLEY: Bye-bye!

(laughter)

SAM: I'm sure she's very lovely, or she was.

ASHLEY: This is for charity. This is for charity.

LAURA: It's for charity. It's for charity. It's for charity.

MATT: No, she's also pretty tough. We saw her fight last year.

TRAVIS: True.

MATT: And she's coming to reclaim that, so.

TRAVIS: She's got scrap.

MARISHA: She's scrappy, she's, yeah. I'll let Ashley speak for me.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Not scrappy like our babe.

MARISHA: As they were saying, this is a charity boxing event and I am so fucking stoked and proud that the Critical Role Foundation will be one of several organizations that this event and the proceeds will be going towards--

TRAVIS: It's so cool.

MARISHA: -- this year. So fuck yes. Tickets can still be purchased at thecreatorclash.com. That's both for last minute stadium seat tickets or for the pay-per-view.

LAURA: Pay-per-view.

MARISHA: It's all for a good cause.

MATT: Check it out.

ASHLEY: You're doing a pay-per-view fight.

LAURA: You're going to be on pay-per-view!

TRAVIS: Pop, pop, motherfucker, pop, pop.

ASHLEY: You're doing a pay-per-view fight!

LIAM: Blood in the water.

MARISHA: Get a t-shirt.

TRAVIS: Let's go! Pop, pop!

MATT: It's going to be good.

ASHLEY: Some of these videos we've seen, my god, thirsty. I'm always like, "I'll be the victim."

(laughter)

SAM: There are victims in boxing?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: In Ashley's dreams, there are.

MATT: Yep. (laughs)

ASHLEY: No, Marisha, no!

(laughter)

MATT: I feel you.

(laughter)

MATT: Well, speaking of the event horizon.

ASHLEY: Oh no.

MARISHA: Oh shit.

MATT: Because Travis, I know you know the Latin.

TRAVIS: Dominate-- Ex inferis, I think, yep.

MATT: There you go. I believe that concludes our announcements. So let's go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of--

LIAM: Oh no.

LAURA: Why are you hiding?

MATT: -- Critical Role. (wind whooshing) ♪ Critical, it's Thursday ♪ ♪ It's Thursday night ♪

ASHLEY: ♪ One-by-one, we climb until we reach the top ♪ ♪ Two-by-two, we fall ♪

LAURA: ♪ Will we meet our end or meet our destiny ♪ ♪ Hold your breath and roll ♪

MATT: How do you want to do this?

ALL: ♪ It's Thursday night ♪ ♪ All ye Critters, ♪ come join us ♪ ♪ It's time to ♪ continue our plight ♪ ♪ There is ♪ magic and mystery ♪ ♪ Who knows ♪ what will happen ♪ ♪ He might ♪ ♪ But one thing's for sure ♪ ♪ We never give up ♪ on the fight ♪

TRAVIS: ♪ From the healer ♪

LIAM: ♪ To the renegade ♪

MATT: ♪ We all share the same goal ♪

TALIESIN and MATT: ♪ Adding more allies ♪ ♪ Taking more chances ♪

SAM: ♪ Hold your breath and roll ♪

MARISHA: You can certainly try.

ALL: ♪ It's Thursday night ♪ ♪ All ye Critters, ♪ come join us ♪ ♪ It's time to ♪ continue our plight ♪ ♪ It's Thursday night ♪ ♪ There is ♪ magic and mystery ♪ ♪ From darkness, ♪ our friendship will rise ♪ ♪ But one thing's for sure ♪ ♪ We never give up ♪ on the fight ♪ ♪ Oh, get ready (get ready) ♪ ♪ It's Thursday night ♪

(fire crackling)

MATT: And welcome back. So last we left off, half of Bells Hells had encountered two new allies, some with ancient histories and some with more ancient histories. But upon searching for a means of reaching out to the other half of your unknown troop, magic is changing. Ancient enchantments seem to have been undone and a bit of disarray is beginning to unravel, even here within the town of Uthodurn in the Flotket Alps. Upon searching around for answers, you happened to save a lot of members of the town from one such enchantment that held a petrified forest spirit from the Veluthil Forest and upon doing so, was granted an audience to come with the king and queen of the Diarchy here of Uthodurn. In the interim time, you rested for the evening here at Deanna's house, enjoyed a fine breakfast and went to drop by D&O's Toy Emporium where you had found yourself radically and rapidly hired to deal with other such bits of chaos that seemed to have gotten free within the toy store. You battled some of these firebugs within and the strangely mutated, terrifying, what's the word I'm looking for? The mascot of the Toy Emporium, which had now become a terrifying arachnid-type creature. You did battle with it in the upper region of the toy store, turned it back into its baby form for about an hour quickly ran out into the snow and--

ASHLEY: Kill it.

MATT: Right.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Time to die.

MATT: Left it to be dealt with by the Glassblades as you rushed back in. Since then, you reconvened and had a bit of a somewhat conversation of closure with Oltgar, of which you had previously seen when you stabbed him in the hand and fled from Uthodurn many years ago, sending him on his way to bring the joy of his toys to children around Exandria.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: Now, nearing the midday here in the subterranean depths of the dwarf and elvish city of Uthodurn, I just realized you have a--

AABRIA: Yeah.

MATT: -- shrine.

AABRIA: Yes, I've got to cleanse my di-- Y'all were here the last time when I was rolling, right?

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Oh, this is that. We're doing it?

AABRIA: I went and bought crystals. So if everyone could reach a hand--

SAM: Those are crystals?

AABRIA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: A hand?

AABRIA: Yeah, everyone reach a hand out. Just send out some good vibes real quick.

ASHLEY: Sending out good vibes.

AABRIA: Thank you so much. We've got to roll above a three today.

ASHLEY: Let's do it.

AABRIA: Okay, thank you. Ah, blow the smoke. Oh no!

TRAVIS and LAURA: Oh no!

TRAVIS: You know what that means?

AABRIA: No wishes.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: I took all the power for myself.

AABRIA: Yeah.

MATT: (cackles)

AABRIA: Damn it. Not again.

LAURA: Ooh, it smells like candles now.

MATT: It does.

TRAVIS: Oh, candle wax.

ASHLEY: I love it.

TRAVIS: That brings back memories.

SAM: Oh god.

(laughter)

AABRIA: Chetney did love his temperature play. That was great!

SAM: That was good?

AABRIA: That was good!

SAM: I've got to practice.

AABRIA: All right.

CHRISTIAN: Do you know what you just secretly told us?

AABRIA: Ooh.

SAM: What?

LAURA: Oh.

SAM: Oh. Versailles?

AABRIA: Only Ashley knows.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: You're done with us.

MATT: They'll tell us in time. Well, what is it you wish to do?

SAM: Oh, what time is it?

TRAVIS: Midday.

SAM: That's when we're supposed to go!

TRAVIS: I thought it was in the afternoon?

AABRIA: It's at noon.

SAM: It's at 12:00 noon.

TRAVIS: Listen, my memory's fading in my later years. We should hurry.

MATT: Within the hour or so, it's somewhere between 11:00 and noon, you'd guess. Well, not even guess, by looking at the clockwork that you have, it's pushing just past 11:00.

LAURA: We don't want to be late meeting--

AABRIA: Yeah.

LAURA: -- royalty.

AABRIA: Or what if we're late, it's like a power play?

ASHLEY: Ooh.

SAM: Do we have--

ASHLEY: I love a good power play.

SAM: -- to bring something? A gift, an offering?

TRAVIS: What?

LAURA: Oh.

SAM: A present?

LAURA: Like a house present? I don't know.

SAM: Well, I don't know. I don't know what the rules are around here. I've never met a king or queen.

ASHLEY: I think they need to give us a gift. We took care of their problem. What do we need to show up with anything for?

SAM: Well, I know, but isn't it polite to just bring something to--?

ASHLEY: Oh.

SAM: I don't know.

TRAVIS: I'll work on something on the way. (chitters) I take out the very nice block of wood that FRIDA gave me.

CHRISTIAN: I think that would be enough.

TRAVIS: I'm working like a goddamn CNC machine over here, just mind your business.

LAURA: I'm just going to Prestidigitation all of us as we're going, so I can clean us up from our--

CHRISTIAN: Thank you very much.

LAURA: At least we won't smell bad.

MATT: Fair enough.

CHRISTIAN: Deanna, have you ever met the king and queen?

AABRIA: No.

CHRISTIAN: Okay.

AABRIA: I think I've only ever seen them in parades before.

SAM: And they rule together?

AABRIA: Yeah.

SAM: How do they resolve disputes?

AABRIA: Talking. Isn't that your whole thing?

SAM: Well, I know, but, I mean, I've counseled quite a few married couples and there's many times when they don't get along and they go to bed angry, which is fine and normal and everyone works through their problems. But when your problems could lead to war with a rival nation or something, that could be very difficult. They must be emotionally healthy.

TRAVIS: Maybe the sex is on point.

CHRISTIAN: I don't know if it's that kind of union.

TRAVIS: Oh.

ASHLEY: Oh.

CHRISTIAN: But my analysis of their union is that it's their differences that make them stronger together.

SAM: Wow, it seems like words to live by.

ASHLEY: They don't consummate their marriage?

CHRISTIAN: I'm not sure that they do. They might.

AABRIA: It looks like they have.

CHRISTIAN: Oh?

AABRIA: I don't know. It's just a vibe you can catch when you see them.

ASHLEY: Just a vibe?

AABRIA: Yeah, they've banged it out. You know?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

SAM: The way they look at each other or there's body language?

AABRIA: It's like a body language, like when you're physically comfortable in a space with someone.

SAM: You can tell that?

AABRIA: Yeah, can't you?

LAURA: Well, then how come y'all seem so awkward together if?

AABRIA: Yeah, there's--

CHRISTIAN: If I had a fan.

AABRIA: -- banged it out and then there's, "You know too much."

TRAVIS: Yeah, plus 200 years on top of that, you know?

AABRIA: Yeah.

LAURA: Yeah. It's like a re-banging it out needs to happen.

TRAVIS: What?

AABRIA: What?

LAURA: Huh?

CHRISTIAN: What?

TRAVIS: Why would you?

AABRIA: I'm so sorry. Oh god, it's so loud in this hallway.

TRAVIS: We don't know what you're talking about.

ASHLEY: Uh-huh.

SAM: Wow, I'm just learning a lot about body language right now.

AABRIA: Interesting.

ASHLEY: Body language, tension.

TRAVIS: I'm trying to work. Stop distracting me.

AABRIA: Where did you get candy from?

MATT: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Would you like one?

SAM: Oh.

AABRIA: Oh. Actual candy, thank you.

MATT: These two adorable dwarven children, one with this deeply smooth brown skin and these bright brown eyes and short black hair and even a bit of chin scruff for a young boy, but with the dwarves, they kick in early.

(laughter)

MATT: And this little pauper- looking girl with fiery red hair, an olive complexion, behind him and they're both wearing, not ragged clothing, but, definitely, they look like they've been adventuring for the good part of the morning, lean out from one of the nearby crooks and look over and the little girl blinks and ducks behind while the boy steps forward. "Were you the ones with the bull?"

CHRISTIAN: The bull?

LAURA: Yeah.

CHRISTIAN: Yes.

MATT: "Told you," and they just run off.

AABRIA: Oh, no, what? Oh okay, well, all right. That was fun.

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: You know what I was thinking about, though? The bull had been what, petrified, right? That's how it was stuck where it was?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: And the magic loss is what released it. So what if Ryn--

SAM: (gasps) Oh.

LAURA: What if Ryn got released as well?

TRAVIS: Oh, that's true.

SAM: Oh.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: Armless.

ASHLEY: That's a very good point.

SAM: Wait. Did we knock off her arms?

TRAVIS: We didn't knock off anything. A giant automaton being piloted crushed a wall that fell on her.

SAM: But it was sort of a group plan.

LAURA: I think you were alone in the automaton when it happened, though.

TRAVIS: More like sole responsibility.

SAM: I was trying to rescue everyone. I had good intentions.

TRAVIS: FCG de-armed a Planerider.

AABRIA: Oh? I don't know what a Planerider is.

SAM: It's a person.

TRAVIS: Oh.

CHRISTIAN: You took someone's arms off?

SAM: Not intentionally.

LAURA: Just one arm.

CHRISTIAN: Just one arm?

AABRIA: But you saved the rest of them, right?

SAM: I don't know that I did, actually.

AABRIA: Okay, well, I was trying to find a win here.

SAM: We don't know if half of our party is dead.

LAURA: Yeah, no, we don't.

CHRISTIAN: They're certainly not.

SAM: I was pretty ineffective in the fight, but to be fair--

AABRIA: I mean, but you were effective this whole time.

LAURA: Every single one of us was completely ineffective in that fight.

ASHLEY: I really felt that, too.

TRAVIS: Yeah, you were instrumental, FCG, I have to say.

SAM: Still, I feel guilty. I hope that Planerider Ryn is all right.

LAURA: I'm sure they are.

SAM: I hope they can still ride planes without being able to, you know?

LAURA: I'm sure they can.

CHRISTIAN: (chuckles)

ASHLEY: Can it be reattached somehow through healing powers?

LAURA: I mean, if people can bring others back to life, I'm sure that people can regrow arms, right?

CHRISTIAN: No, that's where you draw the line. They can't regrow arms.

(chuckles)

TRAVIS: We should get going.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

SAM: Oh yeah, the king and queen!

AABRIA: We're walking, talking.

LAURA: We're walking.

MATT: Okay. Following the central Auger Trail southward, past the current disc, through the Liber Disc, down to the Grand Disc beneath, now in much better shape than you had previously seen it. Much of the destruction beyond the initial gate seems to have been rapidly repaired and you can see actively some of the low level guild mages within the city are in the process of mending some of the nearby damage and stone-shaping some of the things that need to be further reinforced to return to their previous grandeur. As you step into the neighborhood, you can see some of the soldiers and Glassblades that immediately go to see who you are, just to check to make sure people aren't wandering through this space, especially the space of a recent event but a day before, and immediately recognize you stepping forward and step back a bit, give a nod. You see there is one particular soldier who looks like they were wounded, you recognize as the one that you had talked to, who is against the door who is standing up now, with a light bandage and looks like they've undergone something serious. They step forward and she glances at the rest of you and goes, "I just wanted to say thank you again."

AABRIA: You're welcome. They didn't let you get one whole day off? You almost died.

MATT: "Oh, I was able to get most of it healed, and I wanted to help with the recovery efforts. I'm not doing anything too strenuous, but, you know, I'm trying to put in work where I can."

AABRIA: I'm going to cast a 1st-level Cure Wounds on her.

MATT: Sure, go ahead and roll.

AABRIA: Just to help her out. Please, dice, be good now. Oh, what's a d8? Oh god!

SAM: Oh no.

AABRIA: Oh no!

SAM: All the d8s have turned into d9s.

TRAVIS: They were scared of the fire.

AABRIA: Okay, 10 points.

MATT: 10 points. You reach out and touch her and she at first assumes as you whisper that it's a simple prayer and as soon as you touch, then a warm glow moves towards the end of your fingers and into her chest. She pulls away for a second, taken aback, un-expecting this small bit of divinity and smiles and you can see stands a little bit taller. "Thank you again."

AABRIA: Yeah.

MATT: "Anyway, good luck to you all."

CHRISTIAN: What's your name?

ASHLEY: You as well.

MATT: "Aye, Jerena."

CHRISTIAN and LAURA: Jerena.

SAM and AABRIA: Jerena.

CHRISTIAN: You're very brave.

MATT: "Thank you."

CHRISTIAN: You helped us just as much as we helped you yesterday, so thank you.

MATT: "Oh."

AABRIA: (whispers) That's not true.

MATT: "I couldn't help but disagree, but I appreciate the sentiment."

LAURA: (whispers) That's not true.

(laughter)

CHRISTIAN: You guys.

ASHLEY: She just laid there the whole time, but you were healing.

MATT: "Yeah. No. You're not wrong."

AABRIA: It's okay, it's okay.

ASHLEY: It's okay.

MATT: "Anyway. (clear throat)" Goes off and wanders back to the rest of her troop.

ASHLEY: Thank you.

AABRIA: Shame.

AABRIA and CHRISTIAN: (laugh)

MATT: Continuing now through the less tense walk through the central neighborhood here, rounding the left-hand slowly descending rotation in the corner down the Auger Trail to where you can see once more the Citadel. Now already many of the sustained damage and the toppled pillars and bits of the archway that lead towards the stair entrance up into the massive crystalline funnel of the structure are pretty much completely repaired. Once again, a few other guild mages are in the process of taking a break or actively mending it and it has a bustling atmosphere of half construction site and half a place of politically-centric business having to carry on in the interim. As you begin to approach, some of the sentinel guards step forward and look upon you all and nod. "You have been expected," and they step aside.

AABRIA: This is nice.

MATT: One of them lowers his spear right across--

SAM: (yelps)

MATT: -- the front of you, Chetney and goes, "Who are you?"

SAM: Oh, that's right.

AABRIA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Oh sorry, I'm the bursar for this group. I keep records in all monetary funds. I'm just here to make sure that our accounts are accounted for.

LAURA: He was also helping on the day. He just got separated from the group.

ASHLEY: He's not with us.

LAURA: He was injured.

(laughter)

MATT: Okay, make a deception check with advantage just because of that.

ASHLEY: I'm just kidding.

MATT: No, I know. But I'm going to do it anyway.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

AABRIA and MATT: (laugh)

LAURA: 27.

MATT: He goes, "(laughs) You're funny. All right, come on in."

ASHLEY: Thank you.

MATT: He pulls the spear up and steps to the side.

TRAVIS: (groans dramatically) Oh, thank you. Oh.

SAM: That was close.

TRAVIS: Injured by the bull. (moans)

AABRIA: That's right.

(laughs)

MATT: You ascend the steps up into the Citadel once more. The lack of stillness doesn't pull away from the sound of the echoing footsteps against the continuously-widening halls and winding stairways that go further up into the numerous hallways that the interior of the Citadel contains. But you know precisely the direction to travel since that was where you had previously nearly, or briefly, got into a scuffle. You step up the second flight of stairs past the first central entryway. The damaged double doors that were left ajar and partially crumbled have been repaired and affixed to the sides and are partially open and you can see there are a number of the sentinels that wear the royal attire of Uthodurn who step aside as you begin to enter. As you enter the chamber, you can see the pillars have been re-affixed. There is still some repair being done on the side elements of the room. It's incomplete, it's only been less than a day, really. Rapid repairs for the time given, and it seems that the majority of what damage could have transpired has been prevented, thankfully. They're in the middle of a discussion and one of the sentinel guards steps forward and puts a hand out and says "Just a few moments. They need to finish a current convocation with a guest. Just if you wouldn't mind waiting."

CHRISTIAN: DM, I have a question about the space--

MATT: Yes?

CHRISTIAN: -- that I've been thinking about since we were in here last. Is the arcane energy amplified in this place? Is the magic stronger in the Citadel, within the Citadel, or within the palace itself?

MATT: Make an arcana check.

AABRIA: Let's go.

CHRISTIAN: I mean, I suck at arcana, but anyway. 13.

MATT: 13. You don't gather anything that gives you the impression that the arcana is stronger here, necessarily. You can see that where previously you came in here, there were a number of lanterns and light sources that were disenchanted like the rest of the city. It looks like they've swapped those out or managed to repair them to some degree. You're uncertain, but it is better lit than you previously remember, mostly cleaned up and the room's still, it is a grand chamber. You cannot help but feel like this is the place where the center of government would sit with honor and pride. But no sense of any enhanced arcana, necessarily.

CHRISTIAN: Okay.

MATT: Anything you wish to discuss before you approach or the time comes?

SAM: What do we want? I know that's a broad question and everyone has to answer it individually for themselves. If we get a reward for helping these folks, I don't care about money. What could help us and what could help our situation right now? You two also, what is it that you hope to get out of this?

CHRISTIAN: To help you find your friends.

AABRIA: Yeah.

SAM: Well, I mean, that's very nice of you, but you must have your own goals, too.

CHRISTIAN: We were quite happy. (laughs)

AABRIA: Yeah.

CHRISTIAN: We would like to help you all find your friends.

AABRIA: It would make us very happy to do so.

CHRISTIAN: Yes.

TRAVIS: I think it's an information share. If they know anything from cities or realms beyond here in Wildemount, since we weren't here before we were all of a sudden, and then maybe if they know of any means of communication saved for the royal family or a means of teleportation or transportation, I don't know.

LAURA: Maybe they do know some druids. Maybe they can transport via plants or something.

SAM: That's a great idea. And Fearne, what do you want?

ASHLEY: I don't know yet.

SAM: Because you haven't seen the room?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: You've been in there once, what do you mean?

ASHLEY: Well, I was a little distracted.

TRAVIS: Pft. Multitask.

ASHLEY: No, I would like to find a way somehow to contact our friends, so. I just want to make sure they're okay.

TRAVIS: Can we ask that you not try to steal anything while in plain view of the king and queen?

ASHLEY: That's the best time to do it.

TRAVIS: You're going to be you. Okay.

ASHLEY: We'll see, we'll see, we'll see. I probably won't.

CHRISTIAN: If you're going to.

ASHLEY: Yeah?

CHRISTIAN: Let me know beforehand and I'll create a distraction.

ASHLEY: Oh, great.

LAURA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Thank you so much.

CHRISTIAN: You're very welcome.

ASHLEY: This is a true friend.

SAM: They really are.

TRAVIS: What about you, FCG? Any ideas, requests, needs, desires?

SAM: Oh. No, I just hope that our friends here are taken care of, maybe for the rest of their lives.

AABRIA: Thank you.

LAURA: Good sponsorships.

AABRIA: What do you even do with a sponsorship? Everywhere in here has been like, "Do you need--" What does that mean?

LAURA: I don't know.

AABRIA: Do we have to say stuff? Do I have to wear a robe?

LAURA: Sponsored by a toy shop?

SAM: You have to wear things.

LAURA: I don't understand how you can even be sponsored by a toy shop.

SAM: I think you have to do a couple social posts.

AABRIA: What? I have to write something on the billboard?

SAM: On the billboard.

TRAVIS: Yeah, parchment and then you just nail it.

AABRIA: Yeah, you just nail it on.

MATT: #Ad.

CHRISTIAN: Maybe they put a decal on me or on the jacket that I can wear for whatever business.

AABRIA: We will not sully that jacket with--

CHRISTIAN: Fair enough.

SAM: Is that still not repaired yet?

LAURA: No, we need to get this repaired.

ASHLEY: Oh yeah, we need to get that repaired.

SAM: That's one thing we could ask the king and queen for.

MATT: It's about this moment that you see there's a troop of two bodyguard figures and one very well-dressed older male dwarf on the rotund side in long purple-velvet robes with golden red inlay, gems encrusting every finger ring and you can see a number of rings with gems encrusted and woven into his beard as he walks past with a bit of importance with--

LAURA: Ooh, woven into his beard?

MATT: -- nose in the air. Steps out of the chamber as one of the guards turns and goes, "You're being summoned by the king and queen."

SAM: That was the prior person they were meeting?

MATT: Yes.

TRAVIS: Who was that?

SAM: So fancy. We don't have anything in our beards.

MATT: "You're being called."

SAM: Yes, all right. Yes.

TRAVIS: Okay, sure.

AABRIA: Any chance we recognize the guy coming out?

MATT: The guy who was exiting? Make a history check.

AABRIA: Please dice, be good now.

SAM: So good.

AABRIA: (laughs)

CHRISTIAN: Can I?

AABRIA: No.

MATT: Sure.

AABRIA: Four.

CHRISTIAN: I don't even know where I am right now.

(laughter)

MATT: You did not recognize him. In the time that you've been in Uthodurn and the time that you've worked here, this individual, you gather by their attire that they work or live in a space that is a little removed from your experiences within the city.

AABRIA: Well, fuck him.

MATT: They wear that elite air well.

CHRISTIAN: Okay.

MATT: (chuckles)

AABRIA: Fearne, take a thing out of his beard.

LAURA: (laughs)

CHRISTIAN: She's on it.

ASHLEY: Oh god, I want to so bad.

MATT: They're walking past.

AABRIA: I cast Guidance.

ASHLEY: Excuse me.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Excuse me.

TRAVIS: We were so close.

MATT: As the sentinel's like--

AABRIA: Sorry, one second.

TRAVIS: Instigator.

MATT: One of the bodyguards turns and puts a hand on the side of the sword, looking towards you--

LAURA: (whispers) No, don't, don't.

MATT: You hear the voice go, (deep, Scottish) "Don't worry. I can't help myself but listen to the voice of a fine lass who requests my attention."

AABRIA: He's a creep. Rob him blind.

ASHLEY: Oh. Oh. What is your name?

MATT: "Lord Desavon Kamash."

ASHLEY: Lord Desavon. What are you the lord of?

MATT: "Would you like to know more?"

CHRISTIAN: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Absolutely, I would.

TRAVIS: Battlestar Galactica. Kamash?

AABRIA: Kamash.

MATT: He puts his arm out.

TRAVIS: Starship Troopers.

ASHLEY: Oh, are we leaving?

LAURA: Fearne, we got to meet the king and queen.

ASHLEY: I have to go meet the king and queen, but if you wanted to wait, you can. Look at this glorious beard. I'm going to give him a little.

TRAVIS: Oh boy.

MATT: (laughs) He seems-- He's looking up at you because you tower over his dwarven form.

AABRIA: Yes.

MATT: He shivers a bit as you run your fingers through his beard and goes, "I have not quite encountered a fey as majestic as yourself, lass."

ASHLEY: Do you want me to tell you a joke?

(laughter)

MATT: "Please."

ASHLEY: Where does the king keep his armies?

MATT: "I don't know. Where does the king keep his armies, lass?"

ASHLEY: In his sleevies.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: I'm going to try to take it. I'm going to try to take one of his little beard rings.

MATT: He goes--

ASHLEY: It's bad. It's a bad joke, but--

MATT: "Oh, I get it. (laughs) It's arm, armies."

ASHLEY: Armies.

MATT: "(laughs)"

CHRISTIAN: In his sleevies.

ASHLEY: Arms in his sleevies.

MATT: "(laughs) Sorry, I'm used to being surrounded by folks who-- Their senses of humor are a bit aloof."

ASHLEY: Oh, how sad.

MATT: "I know, I know."

ASHLEY: Mine's very fully present.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Wait, why were you here?

MATT: "I've business to attend."

AABRIA: She's going to get it.

MATT: "Things have been a bit crazy."

ASHLEY: Right, right, right. All right. Well maybe I'll see you around, Lord Desavon.

MATT: "Very well. Hopefully so."

ASHLEY: Yep.

(laughter)

MATT: All right, make a sleight of hand check.

AABRIA: Let's go!

MATT: His bodyguards are watching you like a hawk.

SAM: Oh god.

AABRIA: You got this, though, and you do have Guidance.

ASHLEY: Okay.

SAM: Plus a d4.

AABRIA: Come on.

LAURA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Say it.

AABRIA: This is the most important thing in the world today.

TRAVIS: Say it.

ASHLEY: That would be a 26.

CHRISTIAN: We're all going to jail.

MATT: (sputters)

AABRIA: Yeah!

MATT: Natural six and a natural four for both him and his bodyguards.

ASHLEY: Woo!

AABRIA: Yes!

MATT: Even with their very high perception bonus, you are smooth, you are quick and--

ASHLEY: Coochie-coo!

MATT: Yeah, as you give a little scritch and pull something from his beard, wrestling it into your fingers.

TRAVIS: Damn!

MATT: One of the rings comes free and you pocket it.

LAURA: Amazing.

ASHLEY: Great.

CHRISTIAN: Every relationship I've ever been in.

ASHLEY: Great.

LAURA: (laughs) Mine. (laughs)

ASHLEY: I'm going to put it on.

TRAVIS: You're just flaunting it.

MATT: Yeah? It's a little loose. It'll go onto your thumb probably comfortably.

ASHLEY: Great, I put it on my thumb.

MATT: As you put it on, you can feel it has a number of gems embedded within it.

LAURA: Whoa.

MATT: It is a very, very nice ring.

ASHLEY: I'm going to try to see if I can grow a beard and then I'm going to put it on there.

SAM: (laughs)

AABRIA: Amazing.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: "You're being summoned."

SAM: Yes.

MATT: The guard's still there.

ASHLEY: Here we come. Here we come.

TRAVIS: Of course.

MATT: As you ascend the steps up to the central dais and the second steps that lead up to the dual thrones that greet you at the top, you can see before you the king and queen. The Queen, Simone Fruunast, you can see she's the dwarven daughter of the previous Queen, Judessa Fruunast. She is as beautiful as she looks also stern and attentive and in control. She has a nice chiseled square jaw with nice rose cheeks. A smile that looks at first focused like she's pensive and then upon your approach, it turns into this bright warmth as her dark brown hair is tumbled in these heavy curls and she wears the crown underneath, the toppling of her hair goes over the top of the crown as it wraps into and is woven into her hair. Beautiful long robes that go beyond her legs and pool around the base of the high-backed throne and she stands with her hands crossed, gives a nod to her left. King Imathan Talviel. You see this elder elf male with long white hair that seems to go almost to his waist, going past his shoulders and his back where it has a bounce and a curl at the end. It's parted in the center where his crown presents upward, a golden shape that looks like trees growing with branches curling upward for about three inches before they spread to the top. His eyes are a beautiful deep emerald green, and he sits within this long deep blue robe with silver trim on it, a few rings on his hands that sit on the edge of his throne and he nods as well as you approach. As the guards step to the side and remain attentive to your presence, the queen puts a hand up towards the rest of you. "Hello, friends. Thank you for joining us this day. After all, it was you and your doing the day before that saved many lives within the great city you stand in. Now some of you I can assume are from town?"

AABRIA: Right here, right here.

MATT: "All right. It's not all outsiders."

AABRIA: Curtsy.

MATT: "Very good, very good and what's your name, lass?"

AABRIA: Deanna Leimert, your eminence.

MATT: "Well, the honor is ours, Deanna."

AABRIA: (giggles)

MATT: "You've done a great service for our people, and shown in times of tumultuous uncertainty, that those who stand up and put their strength to the protection of those who cannot defend themselves, that is where the heart of Uthodurn lies and through your display of heroism, you will never quite know how many you've inspired in the days, weeks, and years to come to do the same. So on behalf of our fine city, I thank you."

CHRISTIAN: I'll also bow. I'm not sure if we're supposed to bow or not, but I bow, yes.

LAURA: Yeah, a curtsy. I do a curtsy.

ASHLEY: I do it, too.

AABRIA: Deanna's doing it to cover the fact that she is deeply out of breath.

(laughter)

AABRIA: 15-foot, 15 speed.

MATT: It's a lot of steps. It's a lot of steps.

TRAVIS: (quick footsteps)

MATT: The elven king leans forward with a warm smile that curls across his face. "It is with our particular appreciation that you have answered to our summons and arrived here on this day. We wish to, one, thank you for the recollection of the gracious beast and returned to its direction of its homestead. You shall be decreed the five, six?"

SAM: He was there, too.

AABRIA: He was there the whole time.

TRAVIS: Uh-huh.

MATT: "The six of you will be decreed as Protectors of the Diarchy."

LAURA: Wow.

SAM: Protectors of the Diarchy.

MATT: "Afforded respect and access throughout the city. Granted a reward for your duties."

SAM: Oh!

MATT: "And a modest ask of the Diarchy, subject to capability. We are ever-mindful of abuses of power and appreciate humility in our heroes."

LAURA: Of course.

SAM: Wow.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SAM: In the way that they've been speaking so far, standing, do I detect any body language between them?

TRAVIS: Get on it. Let's go.

AABRIA: Please, can I assist him in the body language?

LAURA: ♪ I just want to know ♪ ♪ If you're boning ♪

MATT: Roll an insight check.

AABRIA: Yes!

LAURA: I want to roll it, too.

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: I really want to know.

AABRIA: You have advantage.

LAURA: I rolled a four.

SAM: Insight, 25.

AABRIA: Goddamn!

TRAVIS: Yes!

SAM: A whisper for insight!

LAURA: Aw, whisper? We all want to know!

SAM: This whisper--

AABRIA: Could you imagine--

TRAVIS: Are you writing in Elvish?

ASHLEY: This whisper is brought to you by--

AABRIA: Oh my god, thank you!

CHRISTIAN and ASHLEY: The Mighty Nein Box Set.

ASHLEY: -- is now available for pre-order. Find these and many more Critical Role miniatures at wizkids.io/crminis and your local game store.

TRAVIS: Hey, hey, nice job, A.J. Let's go.

ASHLEY: At your local game store?

TRAVIS: Very nice.

MATT: (laughs)

AABRIA: Way to step up. I'm proud of you.

ASHLEY: Pick up the slack.

SAM: I just focus really hard, just trying to read anything. Okay. I mean, I don't--

AABRIA: Don't lie to me.

SAM: I don't know what I'm looking for.

AABRIA: Oh shit.

SAM: But I also don't know what I'm--

CHRISTIAN: All this talk of body language and so I am watching FCG.

AABRIA: He's very old.

MATT: Okay.

CHRISTIAN: To see if there's any body language--

TRAVIS: Your grace is--

CHRISTIAN: -- that might indicate that he might like me.

AABRIA: Oh!

TRAVIS: We wanted to make you--

MATT: Make an insight check.

SAM: Oh, wait. You're trying to insight me?

AABRIA: Oh!

TRAVIS: Oh, to learn what you learned?

SAM: To see if I'm liking what I'm seeing?

CHRISTIAN: Yeah. 10.

MATT: Okay.

CHRISTIAN: Yeah.

MATT: He's hard to read.

CHRISTIAN: Okay.

MATT: It's all new to you.

SAM: Just staring intently.

CHRISTIAN: Okay.

TRAVIS: Your graces, we wanted to greet you with a gift. A token of the creature that was wooed and that did escape. I'll produce a pretty fucking impressively carved bull, very much like the one that rampaged through the town and I'll take a knee.

MATT: Takes it from you, glances over it with a nod of appreciation. (King) "This was a great beast. Hopefully, one day, once more will be again. I thank you, as indeed this-- The reason for us having it here as a keepsake in memory of where many of us came from. This was one of many spirits of the Veluthil Forest that looked over us and the surroundings we considered guardians of all of the elves in Molaesmyr. And--"

TRAVIS: Molaesmyr.

AABRIA: Molaesmyr

MATT: "-- it was--"

AABRIA: I've read that on the thing.

MATT: "It was at the loss of our great city centuries ago that we also lost our protectors. We found the beast in that state, frozen by some ill-fated magic. And we-- We felt, after all the years it protected us, the least we could do was protect it. So it was here in our throne room that it remained when the people of Uthodurn took us refugees in and the Diarchy was born. So-- We had hoped there would be a lack of need to assault, restrain or, far be it, send to the next beyond, such a beast. Your deeds have indeed seen that it could thrive in its return. So. I, and all survivors of the fall of Molaesmyr, thank you."

CHRISTIAN: Your highness, are there more protectors here in the city or in the city?

MATT: "Nearby? No. There may be more within what is now known as the Savalirwood. Our beautiful forest is no more and has been corrupted for centuries since. Indeed, I do hope that the Great Beast finds someplace new, a fane that it could bind itself to of health. Or should it find other wayward spirits, mayhaps push back some of the corruption and begin the slow process of reclaiming what was once a beautiful, thriving, living realm."

LAURA: Maybe other guardians were released at the same time.

MATT: "I certainly hope so. Indeed, it has been a strange time for magic."

AABRIA: So you know about the Applebee's SoulCycle?

(laughter)

CHRISTIAN: No, she didn't. (laughter)

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Long may it reign.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Forevermore.

MATT: Sorry, you just blue screened me there for a second.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Applebee's--

AABRIA: That's the only thing I'm-- (blows kiss) That's my time, time to go. Thank you.

TRAVIS: I'm going to--

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Thank you.

MATT: You can't control-alt-delete out of that.

AABRIA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Holy shit.

MATT: "Indeed, we've been quite vigilant, as a number of our Glassblades and a number of mercenaries under our employ have been keeping a keen eye on local dangers and threats that may emerge at such specific times. It is not the first we've been through, though, it has seemingly been one of the more arduous." Looking over to the queen, the queen goes, "Aye, something about this particular Apogee Solstice doesn't sit right. We've not seen it have such a profound effect on many of the enchantments within and beyond our city. We've been completely cut off from all of our magical means of communication with allies from beyond. Indeed, some of our more powerful magics have been... undone." You see this look of sadness in her eyes. "Many of our fallen in the events of the day before in which it would be not a terrible rite to bring back from the-- The brief thread. It seems that such magics, at the moment, are--"

SAM: Wait, what?

MATT: "Inaccessible."

SAM: Oh no.

TRAVIS: Yo.

AABRIA: Really?

LAURA: Oh my god.

MATT: "We've looked for guidance on this, but some of the temples themselves seem a bit--" The king goes-- "Spooked."

LAURA and ASHLEY: (gasp)

MATT: "So we are reaching out to all of our friends as soon as possible. We've sent our most esteemed practitioners of the arcane arts abroad to gather information and return once they're-- They feel they have something of sizable response."

LAURA: What is their means of travel?

SAM: Yeah. How have you sent them?

MATT: "These are the ones who are capable of transporting themselves. Teleportation. Translocation."

SAM: They can do that? They can teleport?

MATT: "As far as I know, they've vanished. They've not returned."

CHRISTIAN: Have you heard from them? You haven't heard from any of them?

MATT: "Not yet."

LAURA: There's no way to communicate if they--

SAM: Is anyone left here who can still teleport? Or use some sort of transportation with plants or whatever?

MATT: They both look at each other and the queen goes, "Anyone with the capability to do so has been sent away in hopes that we gain some sorts of anchor. We're in the dark out here. No answers and growing unrest in a very spooked populace. So at the moment, no, but many of them should be returning within the next week or so. If they were unable to find anything or run into problems, they were told to return within a week or more."

AABRIA: Elbow check. Ask, ask.

TRAVIS: Ow. Oh. Ask what?

AABRIA: To hitch a ride when they get back.

TRAVIS: Your majesty, King Talviel-- We would be most grateful if-- Listen, I'm doing my best. Would be most grateful if--

MATT: "You can beseech the queen as well, if you'd like."

TRAVIS: Yes, your majesty, Queen Fruunast.

CHRISTIAN: (laughs)

MATT: The queen gives a nod.

TRAVIS: Fucking 10 out of 10.

AABRIA: You're nailing it. Go, go.

TRAVIS: We would be most appreciative if any of those avenues of transportation or communication upon learning of their success were made available to us. We should tell them, right?

SAM: I think so.

TRAVIS: We were on the continent of Marquet during the Apogee Solstice and we were very close to... the event that may have caused all of this.

MATT: Both of their brows furrow immediately and there's almost mirrored on both sides, lean forward from their thrones in your direction as they give you an odd look, like a, "Huh?"

AABRIA: They're for sure banging.

LAURA: Yeah, if they're doing the same motion--

AABRIA: Yeah.

SAM: They're doing the same motion, but I feel like whatever Chetney's about to say is probably the most exciting thing that's happened to them in years.

AABRIA: You can bang badly, but still bang.

SAM: All right, all right. I'll take that under advisement.

TRAVIS: We stopped by the Vellum Steeple to look for some research into a member of the Cerberus Assembly, Ludinus Da'leth. We were hoping to--

MATT: The king sits back in his throne a bit.

ASHLEY: Insight check.

AABRIA: Yeah.

LAURA: Can I insight check? Oh, Detect Thoughts.

TRAVIS: Did the queen sit back at the same time, huh?

(laughter)

MATT: No, she did not.

SAM: Does the queen making eyes at Chetney or anything?

AABRIA: Ooh.

TRAVIS: I mean, some things you don't need to roll for, baby.

MATT: All right, so we have a lot of insight checks up in here, so--

LAURA: Yeah, I just want to surface thought on Ludinus.

MATT: On Ludinus?

SAM: On him thinking about Ludinus.

LAURA: Yes, I just want to see.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Is the, "Hmm."

MATT: The surface thoughts you glean from him is Recognition. Accessing old memories and just a bit of-- "Hmph." Kind of like a, "Of course." That's as best as you can get from a surface read.

LAURA: Okay, okay.

ASHLEY: 30.

LAURA: Whoa! What? How?

TRAVIS, AABRIA, and SAM: What?

ASHLEY: I have a plus 13 for insight and I rolled a 17.

SAM: Why aren't you always rolling for insight?

ASHLEY: Incredible.

LAURA: You have a plus 13 insight?

AABRIA: How do you have that many?

SAM: Well, I would read a whisper ad here, but I think she already done did it.

TRAVIS: Yep, yep.

SAM: But did she do it well?

LAURA: She did a great job.

SAM: Okay, great.

AABRIA: Really?

MATT: All right.

ASHLEY: I love Ashley, after she gets a successful whisper, everything just locks down.

AABRIA: Yep.

(laughter)

AABRIA: I give nothing.

TRAVIS: Vault.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Poker face.

ASHLEY: Yeah, because I don't have a poker face, but I try.

TRAVIS: (hums)

ASHLEY: I have to put it away.

AABRIA: I got a 20. Do I get a whisper? I'm kidding.

MATT: Unfortunately, no.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: Nothing beyond what you even just gleaned at the surface thoughts.

TRAVIS: We put in an order. An order? A request at the Vellum Steeple. If that could be-- Rushed? Expedited?

SAM: Expedited.

TRAVIS: We would be most grateful. Also, if I may, on a personal note, I, personally, have been around since the late 500s. I don't think that compares in any way to your grace. But-- Molaesmyr-- I was around when all of that had happened. I think we'd be very interested to learn anything you could tell us about the corruption of the now Savalirwood. Of what happened.

MATT: "So as the heroes of this, you are requesting transportation via magical means when it's available, as well as information on Molaesmyr and expedition of your requests at the Vellum Steeple?

AABRIA: Mm-hmm.

SAM: Yeah, that's fair.

LAURA: Sure.

TRAVIS: And maybe also a change of clothes, you know? Just maybe a gift certificate around the discs.

MATT: The queen chuckles for a minute. "If you'd like that, that can be arranged."

AABRIA: Thank you.

TRAVIS: Now's the time, throw down.

MATT: You all watch as she gives a nod and you see somebody nearby, one of the lower level chamber scribes begins to draw up paperwork and is in the process of putting together some documentation for you.

TRAVIS: Bagels for a year, that kind of--

SAM: I can do that.

TRAVIS: Okay.

AABRIA: I don't know if your personal royal tailor has a free slot, that would be good.

TRAVIS: Oh, snap. Something custom?

AABRIA: Yeah, just like--

SAM: Oh, to repair FRIDA's jacket.

LAURA: It's really just to repair FRIDA's jacket.

AABRIA: Yeah, that too.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

AABRIA: I have Mending.

TRAVIS and MATT: (laugh)

AABRIA: Drip or drown.

TRAVIS: "Drip or drown."

MATT: Drip or drown's pretty great.

CHRISTIAN: The elf that was working with--

TRAVIS: I learn. I continue to learn.

CHRISTIAN: Lickdich? I mean, that's what we call him.

LAURA: Dricklitch.

CHRISTIAN: Drixlix.

LAURA: Drixlix.

AABRIA: Oh no.

CHRISTIAN: Your highness--

ASHLEY: Drixlix.

CHRISTIAN: This is probably low on the totem pole, concerning what's going on, but there's a gentleman in your city who is committing fraud and taking advantage of his workers and potentially children. We discovered--

MATT: At the mention of children, you see both of them grip the edge of their thrones and she goes, "Who is this?"

CHRISTIAN: I believe his name was Drixlitch. He owns, or he's co-owner, soon to be majority owner of D&O Toys Emporium.

ASHLEY: D&O Toys.

MATT: "I believe I know who you're talking about. Though I've not--"

CHRISTIAN: He's not a good man.

LAURA: Oltgar was sweet.

CHRISTIAN: Yes.

LAURA: He didn't know about it.

MATT: "Well, if you have any means of proving these accusations, we can go ahead and have some of our High Magisters look at them and see if this individual can be put to proper-- Oh, you have it right here. Okay."

AABRIA: Give it to a bailiff guard or something.

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: They do and they pass it off--

LAURA: Pass it.

MATT: "Well, we'll look over this in due time. Appreciate that information, as such a deed does not go unpunished in this diarchy."

CHRISTIAN: That's very important.

LAURA: I feel like we should let them know that Ludinus is behind the lack of magic.

SAM: I think you just did.

(laughter)

LAURA: I could have said that mentally.

SAM: Sure, sure, sure.

TRAVIS: Oh, but the Apogee Solstice, it's fried your--

LAURA: (mumbles)

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Your honor, king.

TRAVIS: "Your honor."

AABRIA and TRAVIS: (laugh)

ASHLEY: How do you know Ludinus?

MATT: "Ludinus was one of the handful of powerful mages that lived in Molaesmyr."

CHRISTIAN: That's not good.

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: "One of the notable practitioners who, upon its destruction, when the surviving members of our people were scattered, fled southward into Wynandir and has since forgotten his elvish roots and was one of the founders of the Cerberus Assembly, if I recall. Yes, he was one of the--"

CHRISTIAN: Walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it's a duck.

MATT: "He preferred to avoid politics in his time there and would stay hidden within his Gildhollow Tower, focused on his-- Well, on the past, mostly."

LAURA: Well, Ludinus is, I think, one of the main reasons that the magic is failing this particular solstice.

MATT: "Hm." He sits back a bit and crosses his hands in his lap and his face gets a bit dark. "He was always deeply set in his own research. Cared little for the needs of the people, or granting his ever-growing skills and gifts to the aid of others. Continuously sought the nature of the gods and hoarded historical relics. He carried an odd hidden animosity that none of us really trusted. I think he knew that distrust well, so he kept to himself. He had a habit of loudly debating the great priests of the city in the middle of their sermons."

SAM and AABRIA: Ooh.

MATT: "Many of the pious leaders and priests demanded we limit our resources supporting his work and so he did. He isolated within his homestead and became a bit of a recluse, which was fine by most. We didn't mind not seeing his face around and he left little impact on our day-to-day society."

CHRISTIAN: If you can remember, Your Highness, did he disappear before or after the tragic events in the forest?

MATT: "I'd remember it like it was yesterday. It was a terrible tragedy. It was a cataclysm without warning from beneath the city. Now the city was founded on a powerful, natural magic fount, at a deep-set well of power, that we were in the process of trying to understand. Many researchers were delving, and continued to find caverns that went deeper and deeper with each additional step. We were hoping to learn the essence of this, and I believe this is where this cataclysm was unleashed. This was a wonderful city, one that defied the 100-year fire following the Calamity. It was there in the Veluthil where the stone and wood took shape, and Molaesmyr was given beautiful form." You see this look in his eyes, like he's recalling fond, gentle memories. "It was our finest, the Grand-Conservator Aramond Tuestral, may he rest in peace, that was spearheading this very endeavor to understand the source of the magic that was promised to come to light, and it was under the red light of the ruddy moon that a terrible storm of toxic shadow engulfed the city, engulfing the many in a mercy while others were warped, changed. The forest changed with it, ever-corrupted to this day. Our once beautiful home, now a curse and a memory."

TRAVIS: The arcanist's name that you mentioned, I'm sorry, could you mention it--

MATT: "Grand-Conservator Aramond Tuestral."

SAM: Does that sound familiar to any of us?

TRAVIS: It kind of does.

ASHLEY: It does.

SAM: Tuestral?

ASHLEY: Aramond?

MATT: "Aramond, yes."

CHRISTIAN: Your Highness, are any of his writings in the Vellum Steeple? Tuestral, are any of his writings or anything that he may have been working on available?

MATT: "Unfortunately, anything that would've been adhered to his research would still lie within the ruins of Molaesmyr, if it hasn't already been picked cleaned by looters, mercenaries, and other ne'er-do-wells. We do send-- The Vellum Steeple has been many, many years spearheading endeavors by hired mercenaries, a range of troops. Many individuals have been sent over the years into the ruins of Molaesmyr to gather and reclaim what of our history we can, but it's quite dangerous."

SAM: Well, maybe now that magic is different, it won't be as dangerous.

AABRIA: Or more.

SAM: Some of the traps may be--

MATT: "That's possible."

SAM: De-trapped.

MATT: "That is indeed possible." "Bit of a rush to know on our side. Perhaps when the next round of rangers go about."

SAM: How far, just out of curiosity, how far a trek would it be if someone wanted to go snoop around in there?

MATT: The Queen goes, "Well, half the journey will have to bring you either across the Alps or down the base of it in the Rime Plains. Over the mountains and Rime Plains route before you even get to the outskirts of the forest, by horse is about four days, by goat over the mountains, three, and then through the forest, about another three or four days, or only two and a half, if you take the river."

CHRISTIAN: What about underneath the city?

AABRIA: If you caulk the wagon and float it it's like a week.

TRAVIS: Got it.

SAM: "You take I-40--"

CHRISTIAN: Is there a way to go underground?

MATT: "Not that far, unfortunately."

SAM: "Cut 20 minutes off the drive."

TRAVIS: "Take the toll road."

MATT: (laughs)

AABRIA: Did the fall of Molaesmyr happen during another Apogee Solstice?

SAM: Anthony Coldness, I think it's--

AABRIA: Oh, okay, I'm so sorry. Everyone keeps saying it so fast.

MATT: The King thinks back, and--

AABRIA: Because it happened a lot, right?

MATT: They happen once every little over 100 years, 130 years, give or take.

AABRIA: Deanna doesn't know that.

MATT: Yeah, no.

SAM and AABRIA: What's time?

MATT: The King goes, "It may have, actually. The frequencies, it tends to fluctuate. I'm not a specialist in that regard, but I do believe it was."

TRAVIS: He's done this before.

SAM: The King?

TRAVIS: No, Ludinus.

LAURA: Ludinus.

SAM: Oh.

TRAVIS: I don't know what you might do with this information, but Ludinus was hands-on with the contraption that was taking aim at the red moon that you mentioned, Ruidus, and I think his machinations have something to do with bringing down, wait for it, the gods. We don't know what effects it's had, or if that affects your business at all, but if you speak with other dignitaries or such, I would rather you be informed with this information. I don't know how quickly it'll reach your ears.

MATT: The Queen goes, "Do you know if he succeeded?"

TRAVIS: We don't. In a moment where we were trying to stop him, we were there on the continent of Marquet and then we found ourselves to the west of Uthodurn.

SAM: It seemed, though, that he was on the verge of success and we weren't able to stop it.

LAURA: We were able to maybe lessen his reach.

MATT: One of the local court members, you could see this robed figure, an older dwarf woman with thicker glasses and her hair pulled into two side buns that rest on her shoulders, steps forward and goes, "My Queen, we have confirmed that indeed this solstice seems to be continuous, where it should have ended but a day before, but it seems the leylines still flicker and we've not seen the red moon in the sky since."

SAM: (gasps)

TRAVIS: -- does that mean?

MATT: "It's by all accounts, perpetual."

TRAVIS: Oh, ho, ho.

LAURA: He has the moon tethered to a location in Marquet.

MATT: The woman steps back and the Queen also sits back in her throne.

TRAVIS: (startled noise)

MATT: "(sighs) Well, that's-- That's disconcerting."

AABRIA: Feels like an understatement.

ASHLEY: So if-if-if Revivify is not working--

AABRIA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: -- isn't that a god thing?

LAURA: Yes, it is.

AABRIA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: So if that's not there-- Well--

LAURA: But Deanna was able to heal us.

TRAVIS: "Well."

AABRIA: Yeah.

LAURA: That is--

SAM: Some things are still working.

AABRIA: Yeah.

SAM: A couple questions, King Imathan, Queen Thim-one. Do you--

TRAVIS: Calling them by their first name. Shit.

SAM: Can you tell us, just out of curiosity, we've heard that the Allhammer temple is one of the temples here. What other temples, what other gods are represented here around town?

AABRIA: There's a Dawnfather's temple, too.

MATT: (Queen) "Dawnfather, Erathis, there's all manner of temples--" (King) "Through the city, should you look around. Keep your eyes abound on the central and upper disc, the Deliberation and Volition Discs. If you have an an eye and memory for divinity, you should be able to locate them."

TRAVIS: What about the Duskmaven? Matron of Ravens? Is there a temple?

MATT: "There is a Matron temple as well, though not as largely represented here, perhaps, as some other cities. That is a more recent edition, I believe.

SAM: I know that we already asked for quite a lot, the tailor, the gift certificate, the transport when it's available, that kind of stuff, but might we inquire if we could be outfitted with transportation to this Molaesmyr place, in case we wanted to go?

TRAVIS: Goats! They're faster over the mountain.

MATT: "You intend to travel to Molaesmyr?"

SAM: If we are able to. It seems like that's where this all started, and it seems like that's--

TRAVIS: If our research leads there. If the glory of Uthodurn be supported by such effort.

(laughter)

LAURA: That is true!

AABRIA: I Prestidigitation a little poof of wind--

MATT: (wind blowing)

SAM: But also maps and stuff might help us.

LAURA: Yeah. But it's true. If we could find something to give us insight into Ludinus' motivations or even weaknesses, if you have any information, something that can help us stop him.

CHRISTIAN: Is there anyone still alive besides yourself that might have known him personally?

MATT: "There's not many. Not within the city, at least. There are a handful at Bysaes Tyl to the southwest of here, north side of the Empire. Maybe some within the Vellum Steeple. They might be ones to ask about the dangers of Molaesmyr, since they maintain most of the studies surrounding it and send adventuring interests there on occasion. I will also say, if you're looking to travel there, that it definitely easier across the Alps via goat, or if you wish to do the Rime Plains via horse. There is the Odakar orc people of Boroftkrah who exist there as well, that if you tell them you are allied with the Diarchy of Uthodurn, they will treat you as friends. However, once you are within the shadowed embrace of the Savalirwood, threats grow exponentially. Be mindful of raiders and the corrupt denizens of the wood. You would take care to traverse the woods on foot, should you be confident in the lightness of your steps. For a shorter journey, you could raft down the Boreal Omen River, but you are at the mercy of the rapids there and whatever stalks the banks along the way. But the ruins lie near the crossroads of the river in the very heart of the Savalirwood. If we could provide them with a means of seeing where they're going." And one of them produces a map.

(cheering)

LAURA: You asked the right question!

TRAVIS: Oh shit!

AABRIA: Good job!

TRAVIS: ♪ FCG ♪

SAM: ♪ Easy as one, two, three ♪

AABRIA: Uh-oh. What is it?

MATT: ♪ I'll find the right one ♪

ASHLEY: Oh!

LAURA: Oh, Fearney Poppins!

CHRISTIAN: That's great.

ASHLEY: Flaming monkeys. Baby worm.

CHRISTIAN: "Drop offs welcome."

MATT: There it is.

TRAVIS: Is this it?

ASHLEY: "Drop Offs welcome."

CHRISTIAN: "You will fall" (laughs).

TRAVIS: This is--

LAURA: (laughs) You will fall-- in love.

MATT: Eh, it's somewhere, I'll find it later. I thought it was over with the rest of the maps, and it's not.

ASHLEY: "Sending spells aren't working, but maybe just scream real loud."

MATT: That's all right.

AABRIA: It's good!

MATT: That's all right. But provides a map for you for the Greying Wildlands.

SAM: (overly forceful) Where's the map?!

LAURA: He just said he couldn't find it.

SAM: (even louder) I want it, though!

MATT: Too bad.

AABRIA: Interesting.

TRAVIS: FCG, listen.

AABRIA: Interesting reaction.

TRAVIS: Emotion wheel, bring it down a little.

SAM: Sorry.

CHRISTIAN: I'll go up to FCG and put my hand on his shoulder.

SAM: I will turn it to tired.

(laughter)

AABRIA: Your Majesty, is there anything about the Savalirwood that you're not really mentioning? Not in a bad way, but just, it seems like it's a sensitive subject.

MATT: (King) "There's not anything that I'm holding back. I have not returned to the site since its destruction."

TRAVIS: Dang.

MATT: "As I've had people here to govern and it's too dangerous for someone of my responsibilities to do so."

AABRIA: Of course.

MATT: "Most of the individuals at the Vellum Steeple have been spearheading those studies, so I wish I could offer more, but all I have are sorrowful memories of what once was."

SAM: You know, the warm embrace of a lover could really put those at ease.

MATT: He gives you an odd look, goes--

SAM: In general.

MATT: "I am long past such--"

SAM: Oh.

AABRIA: Does that go away?

LAURA: Do I still have my Detect Thoughts up?

(laughter)

AABRIA: Chetney?

MATT: You do, and you see a flash in his mind of a younger elven man that just passes through with a sad remembrance.

CHRISTIAN: Did we all just take a moment for his love life?

(laughter)

CHRISTIAN: Did that just happen? Okay.

MATT: "Regardless--"

SAM: Okay.

MATT: "-- if you indeed intend to take this journey and are to return thereafter for your request of transportation once our mages or druidic specialists return, any relics you might find that would be of interest to the Steeple or the Diarchy, I'm certain will be paid for well."

TRAVIS: Of course, yes.

AABRIA: Sure.

SAM: Thank you.

CHRISTIAN: What if they don't return? Is there a failsafe? Is there a backup plan? If the magic isn't working and we know that, Your Highness, maybe they've poofed into somewhere they're not supposed to be.

MATT: "Indeed, and as a failsafe, we've sent scouting parties on foot to a number of these same allies. The travel is much more protracted. I will warn, however, the Savalirwood is to the north of Shadycreek Run. There are a number of untoward figures of power and illegal dire practice within that city. The Savalirwood is both a place of preference for them where they can hide within the shadows of which they crawl from and where they can steal and take as they please. It is a lawless expense. They enjoy that space between civilization. So be warned who you trust out there."

LAURA: How long of a trek is it?

MATT: "Depending on the path you take, a little over a week."

LAURA: Oh. You said your people that can transport would be back within a week?

MATT: The Queen goes, "A week or two is what we're hoping, that was-- if not sooner."

SAM: Great. Well then, this will line up perfect then.

CHRISTIAN: Well, you said the clerics in this city, the holy people, they're spooked? I understand that, but forgive me, it just seems like now would be the perfect time to have them available to the people and to Your Highness and to those who are trying to help.

MATT: The Queen nods. "I will reach out and proffer them the recommendation. However, in spaces of worship, we try not to delve and push too deep, just as they try to not involve with the politics of our people as much. But we will meaningfully reach out."

CHRISTIAN: I think the people need them now more than ever.

MATT: "I'm inclined to agree. I'm not as faithful as I may have been in my youth, at least not for some time, but I would be lying if I didn't say recent days haven't made me feel a bit... longing for outer comfort."

CHRISTIAN: Likewise, Your Highness.

ASHLEY: My Queen, do you have-- Is there a temple for the Wildmother here?

MATT: "Not within the city."

ASHLEY: Oh.

MATT: "But, there is a faint set of stairs that climb about a quarter mile to the left of the main entrance. If, with a keen eye, you should find it and there is a shrine built atop the mountain tower there."

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: "You may find a handful of keepers that could help you, if that's your interest."

ASHLEY: Oh, I'm not interested at all. It's just for a friend.

MATT: "Great."

AABRIA: Before we leave, I think Deanna's going to step forward and pick a high light on the wall and cast a little bit of ray of sunlight that falls on the king and queen and casts Bless on them. Well, if the Dawnfather, he's still extant. Even if you don't feel him all the time, they're there. Thank you for protecting the city.

MATT: "Thank you for protecting it as well. And to that point," and she gives a slight clap and you see a figure step forward with a small chest. The king goes, "One of our sentinels who gave his life in the protection of many of us. The family has requested that his armament be passed on to you as a thanks and a means of keeping you safe in whatever journeys are ahead." They step up front and lift it up and begin to produce a beautiful set of half plate armor. It is metal, so you're not entirely sure what kind, but it is very well made. It looks like it is strong, but light. The plates are thin, but intricately carved. You can see there are dwarven edges as well as Elvish scrolling across and bits of chain that connect between the two. It is mainly-- it's not a full set, just mainly like leg plates the breast plate, pauldrons, and some arm guards. But the set is set down before you.

LAURA: What is it, just a light metal? Is it just a light?

MATT: It looks like a shiny platinum with gold designs around with--

CHRISTIAN: Looks tasty.

AABRIA: No, don't eat it.

TRAVIS: Sh. Sh.

CHRISTIAN: Sorry, sorry.

ASHLEY: It looks like that would fit me perfectly.

SAM: Oh yeah, it's perfect for your character.

(laughter)

LAURA: No, but it could be interesting, yeah.

TRAVIS: On FCG, I agree.

SAM: Thank you so much.

AABRIA: Thank you. I'll grab it.

MATT: (King) "Thank you for all you've done and if indeed you take this journey to my, many of our, previous home, good luck. Stay safe, above all else. And when you return, we look forward to hearing of your exploits."

AABRIA: If you want to make an appointment, I live up on the Volition Disc. Just let me know some free times for your tailor. Thank you so much.

MATT: He points over and the person finishes writing and hands out documentation that waives any cost.

(exclaiming)

MATT: At the specifically--

TRAVIS: Crown is balling.

MATT: At Catlyn Delafin's Clothier.

TRAVIS: Oh, snap.

ASHLEY: Oh my goodness.

SAM: Catlyn Delafin?

CHRISTIAN: She's very good.

AABRIA: She's so good.

CHRISTIAN: Very good, indeed.

TRAVIS: Woo.

SAM: Okay, let's go.

TRAVIS: Going to Milan, y'all.

SAM: Thank you, bye.

AABRIA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Mm-hmm.

AABRIA: Uthodurn Fashion Week.

MATT: All right, you exit the Citadel, glow and butterflies of the experience beginning to fade as you exit the chamber and exit the Citadel proper, back into the Grand Disc and the city and the future events are yours. What do you wish to do?

SAM: Oh boy.

AABRIA: Oh my gosh.

ASHLEY: Wow.

AABRIA: That was so cool!

TRAVIS: The Vellum Steeple's down on this-- nope. Is it on the disc above us? I think it is one up.

AABRIA: Yeah, it's one up.

TRAVIS: But so are most of the shibbitty shops, so we can stop by the Steeple and then--

AABRIA: What about going to Jaquoby's?

LAURA: I know, we do need to check on Jaquoby, yeah.

TRAVIS: Oh yes, yes, yes.

SAM: And then the tailors. We have so much to do. Should we split up?

TRAVIS: Is Jaquoby on the Deliberation Disc? Is he on the--

CHRISTIAN: I think he's on the--

MATT: Jaquoby's on the Volition Disc, yeah.

SAM: FRIDA and I could go see Jaquoby while you all go to the tailor.

LAURA: Sure.

SAM: Or do you want to all go to the soothsayer place?

AABRIA: The soothsayers?

SAM: The Vellum Steeple.

CHRISTIAN: Oh.

LAURA: The Vellum Steeple, oh.

TRAVIS: You can pick up records for that, but who's wearing the armor? I was serious.

SAM: Oh, I will, can I cast Identify on it?

MATT: Indeed, you can. This is mithral half plate plus one.

LAURA: Whoa.

AABRIA: Let's go.

TRAVIS: Mithral half plate what?

AABRIA: Deanna puts it on--

MATT: Plus one.

AABRIA: -- and leaves the campaign.

LAURA and CHRISTIAN: (laugh)

MATT: There you go.

CHRISTIAN: She's gone.

TRAVIS: Dang.

CHRISTIAN: Does it come in emerald green?

(laughter)

MATT: Not this one, it's largely gold and silver.

AABRIA: That will clash with your rose gold.

CHRISTIAN: Tastes real good, though.

AABRIA: Ugh.

CHRISTIAN: Better keep it tied on my body.

TRAVIS: Can't have that.

AABRIA: Can't have that.

TRAVIS: Well, we could stop by the Steeple and collect our things as we move up.

AABRIA: Sure.

SAM: Sure. Is Steeple the first stop on the up?

TRAVIS: It would be on the Deliberation Disc. So maybe we could-- Well, we were also going to ask him about the dangers of Molaesmyr, so. Do you want to split up?

SAM: Sure.

AABRIA: Can I do an insight check on FCG? That was a very specific split up.

LAURA: (laughs)

AABRIA: He's paying a lot of attention to my friend and I don't know how I feel about that yet.

MATT: Okay, make an insight check. You can make a persuasion or deception check, your choice.

AABRIA: Don't worry, I rolled two on the dice.

SAM: What if I roll a one? You don't know.

AABRIA: You don't know.

SAM: I did. I did not, I rolled higher.

AABRIA: Well, that's fine.

MATT: Hard to read.

AABRIA: All right.

MATT: All right, so the both of you are heading up towards--

SAM: I think-- Well, it's up to all of us. This is a democracy.

TRAVIS: Sure. Sure.

AABRIA: Go ahead.

SAM: Just to sort of be efficient, we have to go to the Vellum Steeple, at least FRIDA and I have to go see, Jaquoby and then--

TRAVIS: I got to cut open Drixlitch.

SAM: Sure.

CHRISTIAN: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

SAM: There's clothes to buy, there's goats to pick up.

TRAVIS: Yep. That's all on the way out, the goats and everything. That's all up at the top.

SAM: Are we setting, are we going off today or are we going to take a day off?

TRAVIS: No, we got time.

LAURA: We're really going to the Savalirwoods, just like--

SAM: I mean--

LAURA: We're just going?

SAM: I don't know, what do you guys think?

AABRIA: The faster we leave, the faster--

SAM: What do we do here?

AABRIA: -- we get back.

SAM: What do we do in this town? There's nothing to do here. We're just sitting here.

LAURA: True.

AABRIA: Okay, that's a little rude, but not inaccurate.

(laughter)

AABRIA: I think maybe if you have something to do you won't fret as much.

TRAVIS: Also, we can--

AABRIA: You all seem a bit stressed.

TRAVIS: We are a little tightly wound.

AABRIA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Hey. We could also stop by the Duskmaven Matron of Ravens temple and see-- They were all so focused on that particular deity over by the Key, right?

LAURA: That is true.

TRAVIS: So I wanted to see if maybe, it cracked or something.

AABRIA: Why her?

TRAVIS: I don't know.

ASHLEY: Maybe there's some--

LAURA: Maybe the matron had--

ASHLEY: Maybe they know something.

LAURA: -- some sort of immunity to it? That's dumb. But why would they agree to worship a deity that they knew was about to be devoured?

TRAVIS: Yeah, what was different about her than the others?

CHRISTIAN: Do you know what her domain is? What she's the deity of?

ASHLEY: Do you know?

LAURA: Death, I believe.

AABRIA: Can I make a--

CHRISTIAN: Well, you can't destroy death.

TRAVIS: Please do.

AABRIA: Can I make a religion check?

MATT: To?

AABRIA: To just, what do I know about? Is it common knowledge that the Matron of Ravens is an ascended mortal?

ASHLEY: Come on, come on.

MATT: I think it's common knowledge of people of, you know, moderate to high schooling. So the average commoner probably just knows her as the god of death.

AABRIA: Yeah. Okay.

MATT: Those who've attended some level of higher learning would probably have had to learn about it at some point in history. You can make a history check yourself. History or religion, your choice.

CHRISTIAN: I would love--

AABRIA: It doesn't matter.

CHRISTIAN: If it's okay with all of you, I'd like to speak with Deanna privately for a moment.

AABRIA: Dying.

LAURA: You want us to leave the tower?

CHRISTIAN: No, I mean--

AABRIA: I've never known a thing and we're good leaving it there.

MATT: Yeah.

AABRIA: I've never had a thought.

MATT: No, you know these places are creepy.

TRAVIS: What is happening? Do you just want to put it over here?

AABRIA: I don't.

TRAVIS: Do you want to borrow one?

AABRIA: I don't want to make yours bad.

LAURA: Stop using the big one.

LAURA: You keep using--

AABRIA: They're all bad. They're all bad.

TRAVIS: I was looking for something above a 10, you know?

AABRIA: Yeah, I would love to know what that's like.

MATT: You were saying you wanted to talk to Deanna privately?

CHRISTIAN: Yeah, I'll pull Deanna to the side. Deanna, I know--

AABRIA: Hey.

CHRISTIAN: Our new friends are stressed, but I know you, and, are you okay?

AABRIA: Oh, I'm great. I'm doing so good. This is good and not stressful.

CHRISTIAN: This is a lot of commotion. We haven't had this much commotion in a long time.

AABRIA: Well, I feel like ever since Eiselcross, which was terrifying--

CHRISTIAN: Yes.

AABRIA: -- every new day has been more terrifying--

CHRISTIAN: Yes.

AABRIA: -- than the last. You seem so cool about it, and I'm trying to match your chill, and I don't have it. I do not have it in me.

CHRISTIAN: Can I share a secret with you?

AABRIA: Yes, please.

CHRISTIAN: I don't know exactly if I'm feeling the exact feeling, but (whispering) I think I have a crush on FCG.

AABRIA: I knew it. I knew I felt something.

CHRISTIAN: I didn't even know I could.

AABRIA: Oh my god, that's so--

CHRISTIAN: But the other night in my room, we got very close. Yeah, it was special.

AABRIA: Oh my god, I'm so-- Immediately hug you. So, that's wonderful.

CHRISTIAN: You're not mad at me?

AABRIA: I could never be mad at you, not for anything.

CHRISTIAN: Okay, because it's not like I'm trying to replace you.

AABRIA: No!

CHRISTIAN: Or anything like that. It's just, it's different with him. He understands me in a way that I've never been understood and I've had all these questions in my head. Why am I here? What am I? And now there's someone that is a reflection of me and I think I can help him.

AABRIA: Yeah, and you should.

CHRISTIAN: Okay. And you're okay?

AABRIA: I love you with my whole heart. Of course.

CHRISTIAN: I love you with my entire core.

(laughter)

AABRIA: Whatever you need. Okay, I might be a little melodramatic right now.

CHRISTIAN: Don't cry or I'm going to oil.

AABRIA: I'm not crying. This is a normal reaction to meeting royalty. If anything happens, and we're helping them, but you are so, you're so good at this. If something happens and maybe you have a chance to go on a different adventure just know that you could never disappoint me or make me mad or sad-- I can't. Just follow your heart. We only get the one life, unless you're me.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

AABRIA: Okay?

CHRISTIAN: I don't want to leave you.

AABRIA: I know. But the world's different now and you'll never really leave me.

CHRISTIAN: Okay.

AABRIA: Not that-- It's a lot. I just wanted to-- I'm holding space if that's the conversation we need to have later. But you can broach it. You can tell me anything.

CHRISTIAN: I just hug you.

AABRIA: Oh. Okay.

CHRISTIAN: Don't say anything to him.

AABRIA: No, no, no, no. But if he does anything mean to you I'm going to blast his little ass all the way back to the Changebringer. You feel me?

CHRISTIAN: I feel you.

AABRIA: He breaks your heart, I break his neck.

CHRISTIAN: Hey, for the record.

AABRIA: Yeah.

CHRISTIAN: Mr. Pock O'Pea's a good man.

AABRIA: Oh. I think he's moved on. Have you seen Fearne?

CHRISTIAN: Have you seen the way he looks at you?

AABRIA: Oh. Different conversation, different time.

CHRISTIAN: Okay, good talk to you.

AABRIA: Good talk, good talk.

CHRISTIAN: I love you.

AABRIA: I love you.

CHRISTIAN: Fresh Cut Grass?

SAM: Huh?

(laughter)

AABRIA: Where were you?

SAM: Sorry.

CHRISTIAN: If you need a traveling buddy, I'm your traveling buddy.

SAM: Oh! Great. Is that okay with everybody if we just sort of--

TRAVIS: Sure.

SAM: -- go off to do--

AABRIA: Jaquoby's is super boring. We can go do anything else.

CHRISTIAN: That is not true.

TRAVIS: Yeah, if you want to go to Jaquoby's and we go to the Vellum Steeple, do you want to meet back at Deanna's? Or maybe at Catlyn's?

AABRIA: (groans) Catlyn's.

SAM: Sure. I would say we can just message you, but I don't know if we can.

LAURA: I don't know.

AABRIA: There's clocks everywhere in here. Let's use time.

SAM: Oh! That's a great idea.

LAURA: Yeah.

AABRIA: Everyone's got two hours.

LAURA: Sure.

SAM: Two hours. At--

TRAVIS: 4:00pm.

SAM: At Catlyn's.

AABRIA: Yes.

SAM: Okay, great.

TRAVIS: Cool.

MATT: You got it. All righty. So going to Jaquoby's. Where are the rest of you going?

TRAVIS: The Vellum Steeple.

MATT: Okay. Let's jump into the Vellum Steeple first.

TRAVIS and SAM: Yeah.

MATT: You return to the familiar halls of the Vellum Steeple from the day before. They're continuing the business as they were. It still seems very closed off. It's less open. But as you enter the front door it's not locked at the very least and it takes you a while to be helped by a clerk. But, in that interim, you do manage to get face time once again with the Scribewarden Ressia, who you've spoken with previously, who returns with her pompadour still a bit disheveled from the day's work before she coifs it back and reenters the chamber. "Hello again. I assume you're here to collect your requested research. Yes?"

TRAVIS: Yes, as newly minted--

MATT: "Indeed."

TRAVIS: "-- protectors of the Diarchy."

AABRIA: Yep.

SAM: P.o.D.

MATT: "Excuse me?"

AABRIA: Yeah, we're here from the king and queen.

LAURA: Yeah, did we get anything to flash, like a little medallion?

AABRIA: Yeah, like a button.

MATT: You have a decree, a sealed decree.

TRAVIS: Captain's wing?

AABRIA: Yeah.

CHRISTIAN: (laughing) Captian's wing.

AABRIA: Ooh, we got to go in the cockpit.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: (laughs) "What? Oh, I'd heard the event yesterday in the street. I didn't realize that was you. Oh! Hmm. Excuse my brusqueness the day before. I didn't realize I was in the presence of heroes."

AABRIA: You could be nice to anyone, but okay.

(laughter)

MATT: "Regardless." Goes through with this long stack of papers and leather bound, collections of vellum and notes and they pull one off. It's this thin little, almost like a bound book, about that big with a bunch of paper of different sizes and textures that are all woven in, stitched into a singular book. Hand it over. "This is a dossier on Ludinus Da'leth."

LAURA: Wow.

CHRISTIAN: Wow.

AABRIA: And just put it on Imathan's tab. Thank you.

LAURA: (laughs) Oh, do you have any information on the Savalirwood and particularly Molaesmyr?

TRAVIS: The fall of Molaesmyr.

LAURA: Fall of Molaesmyr.

MATT: "We have quite a bit, yes. Why do you ask? Do you need anything in particular?"

LAURA: I believe we're going to be traveling there shortly.

TRAVIS: Yes, the king and queen mentioned that there might be some in the Steeple that were from there or have ranger experience in expeditions in that area, could provide some insight on what to look out for.

MATT: "I'll be right back. The person you should speak with I believe is here today."

TRAVIS: Oh.

AABRIA: How convenient.

MATT: She leaves the chamber.

AABRIA: She's much nicer now. (chuckles)

MATT: A short time later, you see an elven male enter the chamber alongside her, a very dower-looking male elf. Short, short, dirty blond hair with a bit of a chin strap beard that comes to a fine goatee- like point at the bottom. No mustache. I don't know how else to put it. He kind of looks like Troy Baker.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: That's a handsome-ass elf.

MATT: He's just, he's just--

TRAVIS: Elven male. Troy Baker.

MATT: He's stern and skinny and walks in, strikes a pose almost as he stands, wearing travel leathers in here.

ASHLEY: Where do you get your hair done?

LAURA: Yeah, have you been working out?

MATT: Gives you a stern look. "This is Chief Auditor Keenash Serevoldin, who is one of the researchers of the Woodset Auditors who specialize in the Savalirwood. I believe you can take it from here." She leaves the chamber, he goes, "So I'm told you're going to the Savalirwood."

TRAVIS: That's correct, Chief Auditor Kinash Saratalden.

SAM: (laughs)

AABRIA: Serevoldin.

LAURA: Serevoldin.

TRAVIS: Are you sure?

AABRIA: No.

LAURA: Serevoldin?

MATT: "Serevoldin."

TRAVIS: Damn it.

AABRIA: Got it.

ASHLEY: Kinash is the first name?

MATT: "Keenash."

ASHLEY: Keenash.

MATT: Crosses his arms and leans into the back wall.

ASHLEY: It's like knish.

AABRIA: What is this?

CHRISTIAN: Like ganache.

AABRIA: Is there a vibe here? What's going on?

TRAVIS: We are. Well, it feels that way. We seek details about the fall of Molaesmyr. Hit me with that wind.

AABRIA: Yeah, I got you.

TRAVIS: Fall of Molaesmyr and any insight you might provide on current events.

LAURA: I give Fearne some wind, too, just because it looks good on her.

AABRIA: Oh, it does.

TRAVIS: Oh shit, look at that.

AABRIA: Everyone's so windy. I give a little to Imogen. Y'all get some.

TRAVIS: We're all just four like.

(laughter)

AABRIA: It's so breezy in here.

TRAVIS: Fucking hurricane in the foyer.

(laughter)

MATT: The need.

TRAVIS: It's drying out my mouth.

ASHLEY: It's so cold.

(laughter)

MATT: "All right, well, you certainly look like the kind of folks who are a motley crew. All right."

TRAVIS: Thank you.

AABRIA: Do you like that about us?

MATT: "I don't know. What's your experience wandering into most dangerous places in Exandria?"

AABRIA: We're fresh back from Eiselcross, baby. I've seen some shit.

MATT: "All right. All right, all right. Well--

ASHLEY: We weren't in Eisen--

AABRIA: (shushes) All of us together.

ASHLEY: All of us were there.

AABRIA: I think it's working.

MATT: "The woods are heavily cursed. The very nature of the nature itself seems to be hungry, consuming. All the natural denizens of a once beautiful place are now themselves swollen with dark magic. They tend to shift and mutate. The line between beings sometimes blurs. The shadows seem to move on their own, speaking into your mind. Yet even the nature of the dark curse that lays there seems to be fluid. Some creatures that were the biggest dangers but a hundred years ago have not been seen since. And new dangers continue to rise from the darkness every few months. It's always a mix up. So, kind of hard to know what you're getting into."

AABRIA: Are they weak to anything? Other than gruff charm, I guess?

MATT: "I mean, shades and shadows tend to dislike sunlight, and there are many, many, many ghosts that wander that wood."

AABRIA: Cool, tight. I'm not worried. Let's go.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: "Many have fallen there. Many of our brethren. They were not let the gift of passing beyond the veil."

AABRIA: Hm?

TRAVIS: Oh.

MATT: "Their spirits linger and have been been corrupted by the curse that presides, so."

LAURA: Oh.

AABRIA: Mm!

MATT: "Hungry souls wander those woods."

AABRIA: Shoot.

ASHLEY: So if you die there, that's where you stay.

AABRIA: You die in real life.

LAURA: Well, if you die now, there's no bringing anybody back.

CHRISTIAN: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: So.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Duskmaven shit.

MATT: "The ruins themselves have been largely reclaimed by the woods as well. Most of the abodes, homesteads, and the majority of the structures of Molaesmyr have been reintegrated."

CHRISTIAN: Ooh.

MATT: "From what we've been able to gather, the source of this corruption seems to dig from deep beneath the city where the, well, some of the final research was attempted before it broke free."

AABRIA: Was Molaesmyr on a leyline?

TRAVIS: Nice.

AABRIA: That was the word they said, right?

TRAVIS: So fucking sold it.

AABRIA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

AABRIA: That thing we all know about.

MATT: He goes, "I don't-- I don't rightfully know, actually. It's a little beyond my learning and experience."

AABRIA: When I get back I'll learn-- I got to go. I'm done. I'm done, I tapped out.

TRAVIS: Wow. Somebody's horny on main.

AABRIA: I'm not, I know. I was trying to, like, match an energy.

LAURA: Do we know if the fall of Molaesmyr happened during a solstice?

MATT: "I believe so. I wasn't around for it, but."

LAURA: That was what the king said. During the solstice.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: "It was one of the events that helped to reinforce the name Moon of Ill-Omen."

LAURA: All right.

ASHLEY: What did you say?

LAURA: The Moon of Ill-Omen.

ASHLEY: Oh, okay.

CHRISTIAN: Oh.

TRAVIS: The red moon.

CHRISTIAN: I heard one name, Moonavaloom.

LAURA: Oh, yeah.

CHRISTIAN: I was like, that's a good name.

MATT: "That's my cousin, actually."

LAURA: Moonavaloom.

(laughter)

LAURA: Popular baby names of 2024.

CHRISTIAN: Moonavaloom.

LAURA: Moonavillomenum.

CHRISTIAN: Right behind Timothy.

MATT: It's number three in Uthodurn. Just under Liam.

LAURA: Imathan.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Thank you. This will prove--

LAURA: I actually really like Imathan.

TRAVIS: -- I'm sure very helpful. Anything else we can think of? Ludinus Da'leth, the fall of Molaesmyr. The Savalirwood The corruption. Weaknesses.

AABRIA: Yep.

LAURA: Any information on god eaters?

MATT: "Can't say I do."

AABRIA: Insight check.

TRAVIS: Yeah, that was weird.

MATT: Make an insight check.

TRAVIS: That was a weird reaction.

ASHLEY: Guidance!

AABRIA: Thank you.

TRAVIS: That's north of a 10, baby.

AABRIA: It was just that die.

ASHLEY: There it is.

AABRIA: It's okay, we're going to be okay. What's a d4 look like?

TRAVIS: Just preparing.

AABRIA: Who could have said-- Plus nine, 29.

MATT: Woo!

AABRIA: Yeah!

SAM: What the heck is going on?

AABRIA: Whispers for your girl!

SAM: So many whispers tonight.

AABRIA: Let's go!

SAM: I don't know what to talk about, guys. Midst, it's a podcast. It's out right now.

LAURA: Hey!

SAM: You should go listen to it or watch it. You can listen or watch it.

CHRISTIAN: I'm working on that.

ASHLEY: Great.

SAM: Also, Aabria's beanie brought to you tonight by my wife, Quyen Tran.

TRAVIS: Hey, cool.

CHRISTIAN: Cool!

SAM: She knitted that.

LAURA: Pretty!

CHRISTIAN: It works with her hair color, too.

SAM: I know, right?

CHRISTIAN: It's on brand. On brand.

ASHLEY: Do we ask about--

TRAVIS: Is it made out of cat fur?

SAM: And Travis' beanie knitted by Adidas.

(laughter)

AABRIA: Thank you, Q! It's so comfy.

MATT: "Are you seriously taking this journey then?"

TRAVIS: Seems like it. We're going to get some new threads first, you know, because if you're going to go, you got to go in style.

LAURA: Oh yeah, is there anything you would recommend?

MATT: As soon as you say that, he leans back a little bit to show off his very well tailored, leather armor.

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

MATT: Got a nice scarf and everything.

TRAVIS: Woo!

LAURA: (laughs) Yeah.

AABRIA: So squeaky.

ASHLEY: Ascot.

MATT: "Well, I mean, if you're looking for the best functional and stylish threads here in Uthodurn, Catlyn's is the way to go if you can afford her."

AABRIA: Everyone wants Catlyn.

LAURA: Oh, we can afford her.

AABRIA: We are protectors of the city, little boy. Go. Go on. Get.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: She's excited. She's excited. We had a big day.

MATT: "I think this not very little boy will get. Thank you very much."

TRAVIS: Thank you. Do you have a recommendation of gear or things we need for--

AABRIA: You like this.

TRAVIS: Okay.

AABRIA: You like this.

(laughter)

MATT: Leaves the room with a bit of a huff.

SAM: Got no game.

AABRIA: What?

SAM: He's got no game!

AABRIA: None.

SAM: None.

AABRIA: He didn't know anything extra. He's just a weird little guy that survived.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TRAVIS: How thick is the packet on Ludinus? Is it a book or is it kind of thin?

MATT: It's kind of thin.

TRAVIS: God.

(rapid gnaws)

AABRIA: Shit.

ASHLEY: All right, well it's something. It's something.

AABRIA: You can just ask his corpse later. Kill him!

TRAVIS: We can start ♪ makin' our way ♪ up to Catlyn's and I guess we can read and peruse the--

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Yeah. To give you a little bit of overview. Most of it is, I mean, it's threadbare in the sense that there just isn't a lot recorded about his history. He seems to be rather aloof, and his public facing persona really emerges with the Cerberus Assembly, specifically what's called the Eve of Crimson Midnight, which was an event within the Dwendalian Empire around the time that the Julous Dominion still existed. Many of the various noble mages between the two factions essentially began to wage war in the middle of the city. Number of innocents were hurt and killed. Ludinus was considered one of the heroes who stopped the assault. And through that, used that event to get the king of the Empire at the time to approve the creation of the Cerberus Assembly with him as the head.

(oohing)

ASHLEY: I'm sure.

LAURA: He did it. He started it.

AABRIA: He loved it.

ASHLEY: The crimson--

TRAVIS: Ludinus--

ASHLEY: What?

MATT, SAM, and AABRIA: Midnight.

ASHLEY: Midnight.

TRAVIS: Fucker.

LAURA: It's all red.

AABRIA: It's all moon shit.

MATT: It does talk about his time as one of the lower council members of Molaesmyr. He was respected, if endured at times. He began a very forthright and functioning member of society. Then as time went on, he began to become frustrating for some people. There was tension with him and the various temples and those of worshiping aesthetic, I guess you could call it. He largely spent most of his time within the Gildhollow Tower, which it says was in the northwestern side of the city. It talks about a lot of the things he's done as part of the Cerberus Assembly. A lot of the laws that he's helped enact. The creation of the Assembly, all the different mages that have come in and out of the structure through the years. Talks about the various conflicts that he's helmed, including being one of the main figures who helped with the completion of the dissolution of the Julous Dominion and absorption of it into the Dwendalian Empire. It also speaks of how he was recently lauded as helping end the War of Ash and Light between the Empire and the Kryn Dynasty almost a decade or so before.

SAM: What a hero.

TRAVIS: The northwest part of the city of Molaesmyr, the guild of what tower?

MATT: The Gildhollow Tower.

TRAVIS: Gildhollow Tower. It's only the third time you've mentioned it, sorry.

MATT: His title is the Archmage of Domestic Protections of the Dwendalian Empire. He has helmed imperial tactics during all major large scale conflicts the Empire's had since the creation of the Assembly, but his present public life in politics is very demure, even to this day. Most people who discuss him publicly say of all the Assembly members, he seems to be one of the more pleasant.

AABRIA: Hmm.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I bet.

AABRIA: He seems nice.

CHRISTIAN: You talking about Ludinus?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Luda!

MATT: They do also note, apparently he immigrated from Issylra originally to Molaesmyr. It was not his homestead.

TRAVIS: (whispers) What the fuck?

LAURA: Issylra.

MATT: Issylra.

SAM: Immigrants. They get the job done.

TRAVIS: You know, like the first city.

LAURA: Yeah. He's ancient. Does it say how old they think he is?

AABRIA: Birth certificate?

MATT: No, they say when he came to Molaesmyr, which is where, it says he came to Molaesmyr from a town called Ivaadel.

TRAVIS: Damn, he's dying right now.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: From Issylra, so an elvish community, but was, was seemed to be a young elf from Issylra who can to Molaesmyr to study and stayed there for a number of centuries--

LAURA: A young adult?

MATT: -- before its destruction. Yeah.

TRAVIS: At least we'll be able to bring up old shit if we see him again.

ASHLEY: Say again?

TRAVIS: We'll be able to bring up some old shit. Throw receipts.

ASHLEY: Oh, yeah.

TRAVIS: We'll get inside that armor, you know? If we can reach him. I got hands on him. Did you know?

AABRIA: What? What's that mean?

TRAVIS: I got my claws into him. I wrapped him up, and bitch-ass threw me over my shoulder and onto a spike, got impaled. He's a handy, handy old-ass elf.

AABRIA: But you're fine?

TRAVIS: It sucked. I'm not going to lie.

AABRIA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Yeah, but--

AABRIA: Don't do that again.

TRAVIS: Round two's coming.

AABRIA: Yeah, get his ass.

TRAVIS: That's right.

ASHLEY: Like what's up, Crimson Midnight?

TRAVIS: That's right. I got your Gildhollow Tower here.

AABRIA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: There was something better there that I--

AABRIA: No, we'll workshop it.

ASHLEY: We'll workshop it. Okay.

MATT: All right. While you're gathering to your next venture, the two of you, as you head upward to the Volition Disc, you're leading FCG to the abode of--

CHRISTIAN: Jaquoby Macyl.

MATT: -- Jaquoby. All righty. So, passing through the different districts back up to the Volition Disc, there is a portion of the city not too far from the Topper Mines, which are this massive mining organization that is set multiple times in the city, but its base operations is here at the top, or at least its original base operations where does most of its business and paperwork out of is now here, but its mining operations have scattered a bit. But there's a number of workshop areas and shop yards where building industry and materials and large cranes and things that are used to expand and build the slow expansion of the city reside when they're not in use. Through one of these small districts, there was a rough shod neighborhood of shacks and simple abodes. One particular place that you recognize is the modest home and homestead of Jaquoby Macyl.

SAM: As we walk, I'm going to sort of look everywhere but at FRIDA.

AABRIA: Oh!

CHRISTIAN: I think I'm pointing out different places, like over there, the Topper mine, a bit of bartering, and I get a bit of those precious metals if I want to taste something different.

SAM: Yeah, yeah. Sometimes you get bored of copper, right?

CHRISTIAN: Yes, and ruby is exquisite. I mean, it's a bit of a problem if you eat it in front of people because they value it, but tastes good to eat.

SAM: Yeah, I haven't gotten a chance to really taste a lot lately. Traveling with Bells Hells, we don't, you know, most of the money we spend or give away, but I don't really get a chance to taste a lot of different things. Wow, look at us. Just a couple of bots just walking along and just looking at stuff--

CHRISTIAN: Just a couple Aeormatons.

SAM: -- and just having a little stroll in a day.

CHRISTIAN: Yeah. This is Jaquoby's.

SAM: Oh, we're there already?

CHRISTIAN: Yeah, yeah.

SAM: Oh.

CHRISTIAN: I was... Yeah, we're here.

MATT: Looking at the abode, you can see it looks like a nice cottage that has some distinct burn marks on the exterior that have since been shoddily painted over, but you can still see where the color transition from the thicker paint goes to thinner and where it definitely could use a little bit of love. Also, behind that is a large, storage warehouse that the cottage is glued to or stapled to, it looks like. This isn't a focus on aesthetics as much as it is function. You can see there's two windows that face the front and the domed, half-circle doorway that sits at the front with another tiny window in it with cross set iron bars in the front. But all of them have curtains covering, and you can feel a dull light from the interior.

CHRISTIAN: You don't have to go in right away if you're not ready.

SAM: Oh, no, I definitely want to meet this fellow and get some upgrades and stuff, and, I just wanted to say thanks for helping us out for the last couple days and being so open and generous with your showing us around, and I don't know. I just feel like it's a rare thing to meet someone like me, like you, and I just, I'm happy to know you.

CHRISTIAN: Like us?

SAM: Yeah, like us. I feel like I've been so focused on figuring out who I am for the past several months that I haven't really been open to letting someone else, you know, get to know me or letting someone else in, I suppose, and seems like you knew me right from the moment we started talking.

CHRISTIAN: I hope it's not too much to say, but I feel very similarly.

SAM: Yeah?

CHRISTIAN: If I'm being honest, I've been very angry for a long time about why I was brought back. But meeting Deanna and all of you, I think, and you, I think, I think maybe it's not a bad thing, and maybe I'm given an opportunity to, to make a new friend and discover more about myself because I'm discovering more about you.

SAM: It's almost like we get another shot at living, but, I don't know, we get to do whatever we want this time. And it's wonderful to see, I don't know, how you've been going about it. You've got such a confidence and a-- I don't know.

CHRISTIAN: I think I wasn't... I think I wasn't afraid of anything because I'd already sort of imagined the worst, but I was wrong. I think that the worst would be something happening to Deanna... and now you.

SAM: You and Deanna are special to each other?

CHRISTIAN: Yes, yes, I love her very much.

SAM: Hmm.

CHRISTIAN: It's not--

SAM: No, it's fine. You know, that's your person. That's fine.

CHRISTIAN: No, I don't have a person. I don't have a person. Well, she's a person in my life, yes. But she's not--

AABRIA: Yes.

CHRISTIAN: -- she's not my person.

TRAVIS: Okay.

CHRISTIAN: Do you have a person?

AABRIA, TRAVIS, and LAURA: (laugh)

SAM: I had a person.

CHRISTIAN: Who?

SAM: Oh. No, but I don't. I mean I tried to kill her.

TRAVIS: (laughs) Oh god. (laughs)

SAM: And--

CHRISTIAN: Do you do that often?

(laughter)

AABRIA: Good cue, good cue.

SAM: No, not very often.

CHRISTIAN: Okay.

SAM: But it has been known to happen. And I didn't kill her. I did kill her Pussy, but I did not kill her.

LAURA: Oh goddamn, Sam.

MATT and TRAVIS: (laugh)

CHRISTIAN: Okay?

SAM: That was--

AABRIA: I got to go.

CHRISTIAN: Were you just nervous?

SAM: -- that was another automaton that she had.

CHRISTIAN: Oh. Oh, okay, okay, okay.

(laughter)

CHRISTIAN: Okay.

(laughter)

SAM: But no, I don't-- The people in my life right now are my friends. You've met some of them. There's others, but I have no special person.

CHRISTIAN: I don't mean to be too forward, but, if I was your special person, would you try and kill me?

AABRIA: (whispers) Just your pussy.

CHRISTIAN: (laughs)

SAM: Of course not. No, of course not. In fact, I think knowing that I had someone would probably make me a little more calm in general. But we got stuff to do, so we should probably just go do it, right?

CHRISTIAN: And I'll lean in quickly and kiss FCG.

TRAVIS: Woo!

AABRIA: (excitedly screeches) Yeah!

ASHLEY: Woo!

TRAVIS: (laughs)

AABRIA: (high pitched squeals)

TRAVIS: Emotion wheel, emotion wheel, emotion wheel!

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Emotion wheel!

LAURA: First kiss! First kiss. Is this the first kiss?

CHRISTIAN: It was on the cheek. It was on the cheek.

AABRIA: Oh, exciting!

(laughter)

AABRIA: Yes!

MATT: (laughs) Oh god.

LAURA: It was a cheek kiss?

SAM: Oh.

LAURA: It's just a cheek kiss.

SAM: I'm going to turn over and meet more lippy if that's--

AABRIA: Nice!

MATT: (laughs) There's no tongue!

(laughter)

AABRIA: Matt, let him have his art.

ASHLEY: (laughs)

CHRISTIAN: If my rose gold cheeks could blush, they would be blushing.

ASHLEY: Aww!

MATT: Okay.

CHRISTIAN: With that, I'll just give you a knowing look and--

(knocks)

MATT: "Who is it?"

CHRISTIAN: Your favorite Aeormaton.

MATT: (screams) "FRIDA!" (laughs)

CHRISTIAN: Yes!

MATT: The door opens up and there you see, immediately. a male gnome of brown and gray, a wild mat of hair up top that comes down in these two dangling sideburn tufts that are at the sides of his face. This round, bulbous nose and this bright smile, tiny, beady, dark eyes, who is wearing a standard button up collared shirt rolled up past the elbows, and you could see it has a little bit of dirt and grime on his arms, who goes, "(laughs)," goes in for a big hug. "Oh, hi, it's been a while. It's good to see you. Wow, oh my goodness. Oh, you found another?"

CHRISTIAN: My favorite Aeormaton.

MATT: "Whoa. Hi. Oh, my." Just wipes his hands on his shirt. There's big, old grease stains. He's like, "I'm sorry. I wasn't expecting company. This is-- Ah, okay. Hi, I'm Jaquoby Macyl."

SAM: I'll shake their hand. Smiley day to you. I'm Fresh Cut Grass. It's great to meet you.

MATT: "Fresh Cut Grass, the pleasure is all mine. (laughs) Well, come in, come in, please, please."

SAM: Sure, sure.

MATT: "Hi. I could say I'd put some tea on, but I know it's maybe not your thing."

CHRISTIAN: Oh, same joke every time.

(laughter)

AABRIA: Damn.

SAM: I'll eat the kettle!

MATT: "I think I got an extra. Come on in!"

AABRIA: Oh. (laughs)

MATT: You step inside and it's a warm, welcoming hearth as much as it is like a half-hoarder's abode. There is junk everywhere. Scavenged sections of clockwork and machinery and all manner of odd minerals and materials and ingots of all different unique colors and shapes. It looks like he scavenges a lot, but he also lives in an industrial part of the city and as you know, works often with the Glassblades. So it's not like he's scavenging out of necessity, more out of curiosity. You can see, having been to Imahara Joe's place, there is a familiarity to a lot of the hanging chains with hooks and guiding grooves for a lot of the equipment that's used for hanging the numerous sectional chassis of large excavation equipment and other unique things that are halfway cobbled and welded together that looks a little odd. But it's familiar in that sense, though, a unique and different interior. He runs over and goes, "Ah, give me just a minute. Got it!" Climbs up over one of the shelves and pulls down one banged up looking kettle and takes a hammer and--

(heavy hammering)

SAM: Oh, oh! He wasn't joking.

LAURA: Oh, he's doing it.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: "(groans) Puts his foot into it and pulls it into two different parts and goes, "All right, I'm just going to--" (creaking metal) Twists it and breaks it apart a little bit to where it begins to bend in this strip, it looks almost like a fucked up metal Fruit Roll-Up and goes, "Ah, there you go."

SAM: Oh wow. Thank you.

MATT: "Got some for the road, too."

SAM: Oh! Great. I'll just. (scarfs metal)

(laughter)

AABRIA: Oh no!

MATT: "Oh, looks like a--"

TRAVIS: All at once?!

MATT: "It's a different design. Almost like a trap door. It's terrifying. (laughter)

AABRIA: Chew! Chew!

MATT: "I didn't know they could unhinge. Huh."

CHRISTIAN: Tasty?

SAM: Really great. A little rust. Mm.

MATT: "Yeah. Mm. That's what I hear, makes it spicy. FRIDA, welcome, welcome. Fresh Cut Grass, welcome. Right!" Goes and gets his kettle and starts putting water into it and starts setting up a flame, talking over his shoulder. "So, what can I do you for? What brings you back over to my place? It's been a little bit."

CHRISTIAN: Well, my new friend is as in the dark as I was when I first came to you, and you helped me a bit and we're wondering if you can help him out. Maybe figure some things out? I know he wants legs.

SAM: I mean, legs seems like a tall order, but we're about to go on a journey, a possibly dangerous journey, and we were just given this. I'll present the mithral armor.

MATT: "Oh! Oh my goodness. This-- (laughs) Where'd you get this? This is--"

SAM: Oh, the king and the queen.

AABRIA: (laughs)

CHRISTIAN: He's a protector.

MATT: "I need to get out more. Wow, that's-- Do you want to sell this to me or scrap, it or--?"

SAM: No, no, I was hoping that you could, if you're a skilled engineer like FRIDA says--

MATT: "I like to think so."

SAM: Well, yeah, maybe you could integrate some of that metal into my design and--

MATT: "Oh!"

SAM: -- re-outfit me a little bit.

MATT: "Well, let me take a look at you."

SAM: Sure.

MATT: "If you don't mind."

SAM: I don't at all.

MATT: "Might be a little uncomfortable, as I have to suspend you, but--"

SAM: That's all right. If it gets uncomfortable, I'll just hold FRIDA's hand.

MATT: "Okay, all right!" Reaches over and grabs some of the chains and hooks, brings them over and starts getting that familiar, slightly invasive, hooking of the various chains. Begins to lift you up and you, (cranking) get risen about a foot or so off the ground. Goes ahead and grabs a thick set of goggles and sets them up with multiple lenses that seem to click in and out. Puts on heavy gloves and begins to look about your chassis, your body, your design. He goes, "I think I can work with this, yeah. Legs, you said?"

SAM: I mean, that seems like a lot. I would take just a re-skinning, maybe a little thicker arms. If legs can be done, that's awesome. My friend, Fearne, had this crazy idea where I could keep the wheel--

AABRIA: No!

LAURA: Oh god.

SAM: -- but sort of retract it. So legs sometimes and then wheels sometimes.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: The popping--

SAM: I don't know if that's possible. That might be too much. We really only have an afternoon, so--

MATT: "You know--"

(laughter)

MATT: "I will say, I'm very intrigued at the opportunity to consider developing additional means of locomotion for an automaton of your historical esteem. I can't guarantee it would be functional and it may take me a number of days to try and cobble together such a possibility."

SAM: Maybe we do that when we get back from the trip.

CHRISTIAN: Fresh Cut Grass is here with a group of friends.

MATT: "Okay."

CHRISTIAN: They have been tasked by the king and queen to go to the Savalir Forest. And so--

MATT: "Oh boy."

CHRISTIAN: I know you're very busy, Jaquoby, but you are the best. I was wondering anything that you could expedite for my friend would be great.

MATT: "Okay, yeah, that-- Okay. You definitely going to want--" "I feel confidently that I could go ahead and apply this to your person."

SAM: That would be plenty.

MATT: "It'll take me a number of days to try and do the research and trial and error on some possible extensions of your person."

SAM: Yeah, yeah. Maybe you could do those while we're gone, but--

MATT: "Okay, I'll--"

SAM: For today, maybe just the armor.

MATT: "Okay, I'll see what I can do."

SAM: Thank you.

MATT: "All right, let me go ahead and-- If you wouldn't mind assisting me with some of this."

CHRISTIAN: Of course.

MATT: "All right. Go ahead and pull that table over there, the wheels." You drag it over and he goes and lifts up this leather sheet. You can see all these manner of tools, these wrenches and spanners and hooks. There's all these very unique, industrial tools for tinkering.

CHRISTIAN: Can I eat that one?

MATT: "Preferably not, that one had to be imported from Kraghammer. But hang tight, I may have a--"

TRAVIS: Kraghammer.

MATT: "I may have a little treat for you at the end of this."

LAURA: That's a long import.

CHRISTIAN: Okay.

MATT: "All right, so--"

SAM: FRIDA, when Jaquoby opens me up and stuff, you know, maybe just don't-- Just look at me in the eyes, you know? I don't want you to-- We just met, so I don't--

CHRISTIAN: Would you feel more comfortable if, click, if I was--

SAM: Oh god, no.

CHRISTIAN: No?

(laughter)

SAM: That's horrifying.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: (monstrous moaning)

AABRIA: Okay, flesh tongue.

(laughter)

MATT: All right, to that point, reaches over and finds the side clamps and releases them as the chassis opens up and your arms fold up, and all the armor dislodges slightly and lifts up. "Just to check," pulls the one on the front side of the face that you haven't had pulled, and your face plate flips and comes up again. "Oh yeah, just like you. Faithful Care-Giver. FCG, huh."

LAURA: Oh!

MATT: "All right."

TRAVIS: That's never happened before, right?

SAM: Uh-uh.

AABRIA: Ah!

LAURA: Oh!

CHRISTIAN: My heart feels so full.

TRAVIS: Faithful Care-Giver, I'm fucking dying.

MATT: "All right. Let me go ahead and start getting this affixed."

LAURA: Aw!

MATT: Locks in a bunch of lenses, gets the apron situated, and goes to work on carefully pulling apart this enchanted mithral armor in a way that does not disrupt the enchantment and is able to bend and affix it to your Aeormaton body.

SAM: Amazing.

MATT: As you continue to work on this and you all begin to gather, let's go ahead and take a break.

(disappointed exclaiming)

TRAVIS: Faithful Care-Giver?!

AABRIA: Faithful Care-Giver?!

SAM: Come on.

ASHLEY: Oh my goodness.

AABRIA: That is so good.

TRAVIS: This here Jaquoby is the shit.

AABRIA: Let's go!

LAURA: Wait. So you didn't come up with it? That was you? You did the Faithful Care-Giver?

SAM: That's all Matt Mercer.

TRAVIS: I think it was a combination of the two.

LAURA: I love it.

ASHLEY: Faithful Care-Giver.

TRAVIS: Oh!

MATT: So take that break to consider what sort of outfits you want to pull from.

AABRIA: Yeah.

LAURA: Sitting here drawing shit over here.

MATT: Yep.

LAURA: What am I going to do?

MATT: Indeed, think on it, think on it.

CHRISTIAN: Oh my god, you really are.

AABRIA: Are you!?

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Zoot suit tails.

(laughter)

MATT: (high-pitched) Honey honey!

(laughter)

MATT: We'll be back here in a few minutes. (laughs)

<!-- BREAK BEGINS

TRAVIS: Oh man! Hi. We're the narrators of Midst. What's Midst? It's very simple. It's a weird surrealist fourth wall breaking reality bending science, fantasy space western about a small, doomed planet floating in a cosmic ocean of spooky darkness. Upon whose alien landscape an ensemble cast of characters, including a crotchety outlaw, a freakishly virtuous cultist and a weird, diabolical bastard, make awful decisions and fight like hell to survive when the moon falls out of the sky and a large number of terrible things happened in rapid succession. It's exciting, it's funny, it's scary. It's got neat sound, weird music, amazing visuals, and every episode comes with bonus content you can read and examine. Midst is performed solely by yours truly. As the three of us narrate all the action, play all of the characters, and bend a lot of the rules about how telling stories is normally supposed to work. Midst is pretty fun, very strange, and it feels like VR for your brain. We believe you'll enjoy it. Or maybe you won't, but there's really only one way to find out. You're going to have to listen to Midst. Crew Member: And action. Oh, hello, I am Ashley Johnson, one part of the Critical Role cast and president of the Critical Role Foundation. I would like to take this time to do two things. One, thank the amazing community for supporting CRF over the last few years. Because of you, we have raised over $2 million, allowing us to support other nonprofits in their endeavors. The second thing is to tell you about all of the organizations and projects your money has been funding. So let us start with. (tape recorder scratching) Well, what, what, what do you mean we have too many accomplishments and heartwarming milestones to speak on in detail under 60 seconds? Well, I mean, how are we supposed to highlight them? Oh, okay. (lounge music) Oh, okay, this can work. Let's do this. Ooh, ooh, ooh, that was amazing. Come on, that was so cool! Oh, that was really fun. Ah, the best. Can you see all of this? This is, this is just awesome. Yeah! See, wasn't that great? And the best part is that we are just getting started. So if you're interested in being a part of this journey, whether it's to learn more or to donate, please visit CriticalRoleFoundation.org (grand sweeping music) Crew Member: And cut. Okay, how was that? That was good, that was all right? Gosh, what a nice long list, that was so nice. All in two years! (dramatic music) It didn't have to come to this. Oh, Captain Crosswinds, it did have to come to this. I will take this ship. I will crush your band of pathetic rebels once and for all. (sword scraping) It is my destiny. Your destiny is to die by this blade, Commodore Chauffage. (both yelling) (dice clattering) Ha, I lunge forward and strike you with my rancorous rapier. (gasps) Ah! You pierce my shoulder but we are just getting started. Announcer: From Darrington Press, steel yourself and prepare to duel "Till The Last Gasp." The two player storytelling game of duels, (metallic whirring and clanking) danger, (whip cracks) and drama. Don't do this, Chauffage, you're just a pawn for the Sky Lords. They don't care about you. The rebellion cares about you. I care about you. Lies. (yells) If I'm lying, then why are you so rattled, Chauffage? I hurl a grenade at the fuel cells and recklessly destroy scenery. No, you can't. You'll destroy us all! (explosion booming) (fire crackling) You're a... A monster. (laughs evilly) Your move, Captain Crosswinds. (continues laughing evilly) (Captain Crosswinds yells) Announcer: Dive into the fray with nine unique maps and 12 pre-made characters. Or unleash your imagination and bring your settings and characters to the climactic showdown they deserve. I shall slay thee in the name of Charnak the Spider Lady. Charnak the Spider Lady? I don't know, I thought it sounded cool. No. Yeah, sure does. What if I am Charnak the Spider Lady (screams evilly) (screams and groans) and I dissolve you into goo with my digestive enzymes. So does that decisively end the duel? I think it does. (chuckles) Hell yeah. Yeah. Yeah. (hands slapping) Announcer: "Til The Last Gasp" available everywhere Darrington Press games are sold. (triumphant music) Hey Critters! Laura Bailey here to guide you through what's new in the Critical Role shop. (gasp) Could anything be more perfect? Style should never be a dump stat, darling. Oh my gosh. It's so amazing. Ooo look at this! Look at the details! Ooo! I mean the Traveler always says impulse purchases are a good decision. This is pretty badass. You need this? You probably need this. And hey if you want, you could head over to the Critical Role shop right now. (fantasy music) (mysterious music) (epic music) (mischievous music) (typewriter clacking) (peaceful music) Narrator: When the forces of evil threaten Exandria, these heroes are there to answer the call. Taliesin: I'm Super Scanlan, with my Critical Role Twitch subscription, I can watch all my favorite CR shows before they come out on YouTube. Take that evil doers! Ashley: Here comes Jester, with her Twitch subscription to Critical Role. She can access gnarly emotes and post links in the chat, too. Taliesin: Radical! Ashley: Boosh! ...Oh no! Here comes some trolls to jam up our live chat. Taliesin: Don't worry, Laudna will stop them with the help of Critical Role's Professional Moderators. Ashley: She's spooky, but I like her. Here comes Laudna's friend Chetney. He has an Amazon Prime membership, which gives him one free Twitch subscription of his choice. Of course, he subscribes to Critical Role. It's the power of teamwork. Die, die, die! Taliesin: I'm spooky. Ashley: I cast Agonizing Bolt! Taliesin: Scanlan's Hand! Ashley: Stab 'em Chetney Ashley: And look, there's Caleb with the power of introspection and existential dread. (cows mooing) Taliesin: Now that we've defeated all the bad guys, let's gift subscriptions to other users. You can do that by name or randomly. Matthew: Taliesin, Ashley, please. I've told you so many times just don't play with those, okay? They're super fragile, custom made, custom painted. You know what? We have to film in about 30 minutes, so why don't you two just come with me. Come on. (clicks tongue) (footsteps receding) Ashley: Oh, it's Major Buzzkill here to take away all our fun. (indistinct exclamations) Ashley: Is it Thursday yet bitch? Taliesin: You can certainly die! Ashley: Oh! Good one. Taliesin: Loot his corpse! Take his vest! Ashley: Goooosh! Matthew: Would you please stop that?! (fast bright music) Ashley: Grog smash! Narrator: Subscribe to Critical Role on Twitch and collect all 21 action figures. Alternate forms and familiars not included.

BREAK ENDS -->

Part II
MATT: And welcome back. So. What are you all up to? As you are getting fitted, we'll say you all are gathering at Catlyn's, I believe, right?

AABRIA and TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Any other business to be attended in the interim, or are you all ready to meet up there to--

SAM: We can meet up.

TRAVIS: Actually, I try and find Imogen really quick as we're going to Catlyn's.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Everything's been so crazy since all this started, and we've got all this info on Ludinus, which maybe will help us and maybe we'll learn a little bit more, but we haven't even had a chance to ask you about your mom in all of this.

LAURA: Why, Chet?

TRAVIS: Well, I just realized she was there, and then she was flying, and I know we were attacking from all angles. I know you were calling out to her, or at least I was clocking that in the final moments of it all, but--

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: How are you feeling after all of that?

LAURA: It's hard to put into words. The entire time that I've had these dreams and these abilities, I've heard her voice and she's always been so comforting. She's always been the trigger, the thing that helps me remember I can run away from the storm, that I don't have to be enveloped by it, right? So it seems so strange that when it came down to it, she was fighting for it. It feels like something happened to her. I kept trying to wake her up, you know, to who she used to be, and-- I don't know if she's not there anymore. She really did help him, you know? She really did help make all of this happen. Maybe I shouldn't have been trying, you know? Maybe I should've just fought her off from the beginning and then I could have helped stop it a little more.

TRAVIS: It's a hard thing, trying to face the one that brought you into this world. I don't know if we'll come across them again or if she's even still here or on the moon or what.

LAURA: We dreamt and we saw-- I saw Ruidus and I saw all of the, what were they called?

ASHLEY: (whispers) Reilora.

LAURA: My-lora. Reilora, thank you. But people at the site, and I don't know if that meant everybody there got turned into it, or if they're just gone like the rest of us.

TRAVIS: If we do come across her again, just calling out areas of exposure, do you want us to do something? You also don't have to answer. Just think about it. I know we had talked about it, but if we're lucky enough to get another shot, I don't want to miss the second time.

LAURA: I understand. If our friends are gone, if what happened-- If Laudna and Orym and Ash are gone because of that, then yeah, let's take her down.

TRAVIS: Insight check.

SAM: Ooh!

MATT: All right. Make an insight check. You can make a persuasion or a deception check, and not say which, just tell me the number.

TRAVIS: 13.

LAURA: 13.

SAM: Rollies?

AABRIA: Rollies!

MATT: Let's Rollies it. (laughs)

TRAVIS: Three.

LAURA: 16.

(laughter)

MATT: She's hard to read.

TRAVIS: Fair enough. I'm sorry. You were put in the most horrible position of any of us.

LAURA: I think we're all put in a pretty terrible place from this.

TRAVIS: I'm not fighting my mom.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Let's go get some new fucking duds.

LAURA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Treat yo' self!

LAURA: Take our mind off it?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: All right. While you head over towards Catlyn's, back in the abode of our fair tinkerer, Jaquoby finishes some of his welding and clenching work on one of the sides of the plates. "(straining) All righty. I think that'll do. I think that's-- What do you think, FRIDA?"

CHRISTIAN: I think you look beautiful. You are an expert, Jaquoby.

MATT: "Aw. (laughs) Just to make sure to tell the supervisors of the Glassblades next time you pass them by that I am worth an upgrade on my income."

CHRISTIAN: I think we can mention that to the King and Queen.

MATT: "Oh, you're serious?"

CHRISTIAN: I'll make sure they'll take care of you. Yes.

MATT: "Okay. Well, I mean, yeah, by all means. We've been busy. Wow."

CHRISTIAN: I have one more question, if it's not too much.

MATT: "Yeah."

CHRISTIAN: My new friends are separated from their family, and I don't know much about how (clinking) this works.

MATT: "Uh-huh."

CHRISTIAN: I was wondering, in your dealings with the Aeormatons, is there a way that maybe you could utilize the arcane core to power other magic? Like a battery?

MATT: "I mean, technically, depending on the enchantment, that's the nature of automaton life, I would say, having met both of you. Others would say locomotion. But obviously, there's more to it than that with certain designs and creations. I mean, it's not like a general power source for all types of magic. The receptor needs to be designed to receive outside magical power or certain enchantments may just be ready to receive based on, you know, a properly applied conductor of such arcana. I have a couple of cables here that I'm not using, just in case you get curious." He runs to the back and pulls down off of this long, barrel-shaped pole that's wedged into the wall, a bunch of different cables and threads and stuff that are laid over. Pulls down two of these-- One of them them's a little shorter, one's about a foot and a half long and the other is about four feet long, and hands them over to you. They're flexible metal. They look like the equivalent of a payphone cable.

CHRISTIAN: Okay.

MATT: For those of you who need to Google what that looks like, you'll know what it's like.

(laughter)

MATT: As I wither into dust immediately.

AABRIA: I'm too young.

LAURA: Oh my god, what's a payphone?

AABRIA: Yeah, what's that?

(mocking noise)

MATT: "This is usually what's affixed to an interior arcane core for a number of large-scale automatons that are utilized for construction and moving, in application of carrying of goods. So if you connect this to a core one and then apply it to a properly prepared enchantment, it might be able to transfer some of that power. But, you know, usually, they're designed entirely for that sort of reception. It's not a perfect science, and my knowledge of it extends to about there."

CHRISTIAN: Okay. I was just wondering if there was a way I could help them contact their friends using the core.

MATT: "(uncertain sigh) That is not my specialty, unfortunately. You would have to talk to a better mage or cleric for that, I think."

CHRISTIAN: I don't think there is one in this town, Jaquoby.

MATT: "(laughs) Oh, you are very sweet there, FRIDA, but no, I'm just a little coupler of metal things."

SAM: (deeply) Well, you were fantastic.

MATT: "Oh god!"

(screaming)

TRAVIS: Whoa!

MATT: "No, hold on, hold on, hold on. I need to-- All right, I fixed it back on there."

SAM: (normal voice) Thank you so much.

MATT: "Lower it down."

(cranking)

SAM: Sorry about that.

MATT: "No, I'm sorry, I thought I had checked all the various points of entry there. You're clamped down properly now and good to go."

SAM: Okay, thank you.

MATT: "Oh wow. That was embarrassing."

SAM: Oh no, I--

MATT: "I'm so sorry."

SAM: But the armor fits perfectly-- or integrates perfectly, and thank you for the upgrade. I look okay?

CHRISTIAN: You look great. How do you feel?

SAM: I feel a little bit lighter, a little bit more like my joints don't squeak as much. I think I'll be a little bit stealthier, by exactly one point.

(laughter)

MATT: But without disadvantage.

SAM: That's what I meant.

MATT: Yes.

CHRISTIAN: That's great. Well, bring it in, Jaquoby.

MATT: "Aw. (laughs)"

SAM: Are we doing a group thing?

MATT: "Yeah, yeah! Bring it in! Come on in!"

(squeezing hug sounds)

SAM: Must kill.

(laughter)

MATT: "What was that?"

SAM and LAURA: Huh?

MATT: "I'll start sketching out some designs. I'll see what I can muster."

SAM: For--

MATT: "Yeah, for--"

SAM: For hoofers?

MATT: "Yeah. No promises. This might be a larger project."

SAM: Sure!

MATT: "Come and see me when you get back, I guess. So stay safe."

CHRISTIAN: We'll try.

SAM: Well, we always will.

MATT: "Good, good. All right."

CHRISTIAN and SAM: Thank you.

MATT: "Hey, anytime. Pleasure to meet you, Fresh Cut Grass."

SAM: Oh! Do we-- Do we pay you? I don't-- Do we pay you?

MATT: "Oh, I think talking to the King and Queen--"

SAM: Okay. You're good.

MATT: "-- of my capability was more than enough payment for this endeavor. Don't worry about it."

SAM: Okay, great, great, great. All right.

CHRISTIAN: The King and Queen did insinuate that if we got back safely, we would be paid well. I will come and find you and share some of that with you. You deserve it.

MATT: "I wouldn't say no to a little scratch."

CHRISTIAN: Amen. Can we take some of this metal?

MATT: "Oh, for the, uh--"

SAM: Just for scrap, just for snacks.

MATT: "I'll give you something that I don't intend to use." Pulls small bits of cobalt and a few elements of unique, odd-colored, imperfect metals and some alloys that are found naturally in different magical sites and makes you a small, care package of assorted chocolates, you know, puts them together and wraps it up.

AABRIA: Romantic!

SAM: Pu pu platter?

CHRISTIAN: It's like lingerie.

MATT: "Here you go."

SAM and CHRISTIAN: Thank you.

MATT: "That's to keep your company on the journey. Take care of yourself now."

CHRISTIAN and SAM: You too.

MATT: "All right."

CHRISTIAN: These are my favorite. They're a little salty.

SAM: Leaded or unleaded?

(laughter)

AABRIA: If I see Imogen and Chet veer off to have a private conversation, can I drop back and duck into the light above Sanctum as we cross it going up to--

MATT: Yeah, yeah, you do.

AABRIA: The Volition Disc.

MATT: You can do that. As they splinter off a bit, you head over to the leftmost side of that district as you cross up into that region, and you come to this modest temple of the Dawnfather. It's an open-air, hollow, three-sided pyramid-like structure that has this archway opening on each side, and within the interior, there is a large relief statue that is an impression of the Dawnfather, arms up in the air holding the mace, and where the head is, it's a glass brazier that contains flames that burn within to mimic the bright, star-like head of this entity, this deity. Within, you can see all manner of jewelry and chains and coins are placed into the nooks and crannies of the armor and the relief, and there are all manner of little messages and prayers that are left. You're very familiar with this site, though your visitation of it varies. At the moment, there are a handful of people that are in there quietly praying, and it takes you a moment to look around before you see any of the Keepers present, until eventually, you see Evodon Leeds, older human gentleman, short gray hair, bit of a short beard that's trimmed close to the face, dark skin against the gray hair and facial hair and a kind smile and eyes to him. But you see a nervousness about him, a furrowed brow and a vein that's popping on his forehead there as he currently goes to some of the people that are praying, he goes, "My apologies, but currently prayer is relegated to the members of the Keepers at the moment within the temple, if you don't mind. Thank you."

AABRIA: What is that? I'm going to be in the back, hopping up a little bit, trying to make herself not that subtly known.

MATT: "Oh."

AABRIA: Hey!

MATT: "(clears throat) Excuse me." Pulls the curtains over the fronts of the temple. "Deanna--"

AABRIA: Elder Leeds. Hi.

MATT: "Pleasure to see you in these extremely trying times."

AABRIA: What's going on? What were you saying about curtailing prayer? What? That's wild.

MATT: "We're, um--" Make a persuasion check, actually.

SAM: (sneezes)

AABRIA: Bless you! Oh god. Of course it went away.

CHRISTIAN: "This scene is brought you by seasonal allergies."

TRAVIS: Dude, it's so cold outside. It won't stop raining. What the hell.

AABRIA: 17.

MATT: 17? "We've been talking with a few of the other temples of this district and we're trying to circle the wagons a little bit. You are, yourself, a bearer of the miracle of some of our great deities. Have you noticed any change in your connection to the divine?"

AABRIA: No? No, um no.

MATT: Make a deception check.

(laughter)

AABRIA: All right. 16.

MATT: "Oh, well you're one of the lucky ones. The rest of us have--" You can see in his eyes there's a genuine look of, you can only see it as fear. "I felt the connection to the Dawnfather my entire life. It's guided me through darkness time and time again, and while the blessings still seem to mostly be there, my communion has been severed. Many of the high priests have been unable to reach out to the ones who've chosen us. We sense they're still there, but they're just sort of-- I don't know how else to put it, like they're turned away, and I think maybe... Maybe our sins are coming to roost."

AABRIA: No! No, no, no, no.

MATT: "Why else would--"

AABRIA: It's nothing we've done, what could... Fuck, language.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

AABRIA: It's not that they're afraid. No, it's-- They're afraid of something. That's what it feels like to me. Something's coming for them. And I think, in their fear, they've leaned away. (whispers) I don't know. There's something big happening right now in the world. I heard from the King and Queen that resurrection magic is off the table.

MATT: "A few rumors have come across my ears and I hope that they wouldn't be founded in truth. But if you heard this from the King and Queen, well, that is certainly, deeply troubling."

AABRIA: Yeah. Okay, this doesn't change much. We serve the people, and whether or not we have the gifts that they've granted us we can do our job. It could be a light. Are you okay? Is there anything you need?

MATT: He looks over his shoulder and the other keeper, Keeper Triya, is not present, and you see he's taking solace in that present, that silence space with you. He goes, "What's gotten me through all the troubles of my life up to this point was the knowledge that I was never alone. In these recent days, it's the first time I've ever felt alone. So no, I'm not doing well, and I'm not the only one."

AABRIA: Yeah.

MATT: "But, we push on." He looks back up to the statue. "I think, I think, barring this evening gathering of the other priests, I will continue to push, as with others, to keep our temples open. In despite of this uncomfortable period, you're right. You must still be that bastion of openness and goodwill."

AABRIA: To that end-- I'm going to pull out my 500 gold from the job and press it into his hands.

MATT: "Deanna, I don't know where you got this, you..."

AABRIA: I'm a hero. Do you remember that bull?

MATT: "Yeah."

AABRIA: I rode it.

MATT: "(laughs)"

CHRISTIAN: (laughs)

MATT: "You serious?"

AABRIA: Yeah, 100%.

MATT: "(laughs)"

AABRIA: Would I lie to you?

MATT: "No."

AABRIA: In here?

MATT: "(laughs)"

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: "My goodness, you are just ever a cavalcade of surprises, aren't you? (laughs)"

AABRIA: I think the most important thing I'm learning now is, even if you feel alone, you don't have to be, there's always someone to reach toward. And if it's not the Dawnfather now then it's the people out there. I'm going to step away for a little bit as I am wont to do, but when I return, I'd like to help more.

MATT: "I think we'd all like to see your face around here a little more, too."

AABRIA: Okay.

MATT: "(sighs) Before you go," he puts his hand on your shoulder and says, "Thank you. It's challenging when you've been the one people look to your entire life for comfort."

AABRIA: Yeah.

MATT: "It makes it difficult sometimes to reach out when you need it yourself."

AABRIA: Yeah.

MATT: "So, you're a good one, Deanna."

AABRIA: So are you, Leeds.

MATT: "(chuckles)"

AABRIA: I'll see you soon.

MATT: "Real soon, and..."

AABRIA: Yeah.

MATT: "This will pay for many meals here in the temple."

AABRIA: Yeah, if it wasn't for that I was just going to spend it on a goddamn coat. And I turn and walk out.

(laughter)

MATT: You walk out and as you do, he opens the curtains once more and the people that were waiting outside look back and, "Come on, come on in." They all start heading back inside the temple.

AABRIA: Sweet. I hustle over to catch up with the squad.

MATT: Okay.

CHRISTIAN: (laughs)

AABRIA: Oh no, I'm poor again!

TRAVIS: Oh no.

AABRIA: Oh, goodbye.

MATT: All righty.

CHRISTIAN: You have my 500, Deanna.

LAURA: I was hoping you'd give it back.

(laughter)

AABRIA: Yeah. You were supposed to say no.

TRAVIS: You actually took it--

AABRIA: But that's fine, it's fine, it's fine. This is what I wanted.

MATT: Eventually, you all gather on the exterior of Catlyn's Clothier.

TRAVIS: Woo!

MATT: A beautiful two-story boutique that you can see--

AABRIA: Yes!

MATT: -- is built from deep--

TRAVIS: (beatboxing)

AABRIA: It's an Abercrombie & Fitch.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Such a strong smell.

LAURA: So strong.

AABRIA: Oh my god, I just smelled it.

LAURA: The cologne!

MATT: Oh god.

TRAVIS: My eyes!

LAURA: Talk about allergies.

MATT: Indeed.

(laughter)

MATT: Smooth, tufted brick that has all been pressed into this beautiful bricked pattern, porous from the exterior and the masonry, itself, pristine and colorful. The dark gray to pale gray bricks that alternate throughout have a deep red coloration holding between all of them, giving this spooky exterior if it wasn't so well lit. All the windows themselves are barred with beautiful gold curtains that contrast from the interior. As you step through the main front doors, these heavy, dark, polished mahogany doors that swing open. Inside, indeed, there is soft music playing, and it is well lit, as you can see all manner of racks and displays of beautiful, beautiful attire from all over Exandria that presents itself. There are some individuals here helping some other customers that are wandering around. As you step in and your unique looking troop looks around with eager and awe-filled eyes, A voice around goes, "Oh, I'm sorry. I don't think I've seen your types here before. Can we be of service to you in my Clothier?"

AABRIA: Oh my god, Catlyn.

MATT: You see a female half-elf in her 40s or so, with this, I can only, it's got a Sally Jessy Raphael--

(laughter)

AABRIA: Oh!

MATT: Blonde, big, curled wave right there to the side.

LAURA: Does she have red glasses?

TRAVIS: Red!

MATT: Uh-huh. Got-- Well, not red glasses, but definitely that squarish shape to it. Very sharp with a nice business blazer on, you know?

AABRIA: She's giving Diane Von Furstenberg vibes.

MATT: Immaculate makeup.

(laughter)

MATT: "Ah, so, I assume you're here for clothing, yes?"

LAURA: Ah, yeah.

ASHLEY: Yes.

LAURA: We were sent at the behest of King and Queen...

MATT: "Sure..."

LAURA: And they, yes.

MATT: Does a snap. You see, what you didn't notice at this point is these two well-dressed, bouncer-looking dwarf gentlemen that are, set out of the walls, begin to step forward a bit. "I have the King and Queen."

TRAVIS: Perhaps this documentation would help.

MATT: "(laughs)"

TRAVIS: Oh shit, she was telling the truth.

(laughter)

AABRIA: I've only ever been able to afford the accessories here. I'm about to lose my fucking mind!

TRAVIS: Imathan and Simone, I'm sure, would be very glad to hear that you've welcomed us so warmly.

MATT: She looks real close at the seal, and looks all of you. Her whole energy went from "Hello," to "Get the fuck out of here," to, "What the fuck?"

TRAVIS: (whooshes)

MATT: Yep.

AABRIA: Yep.

MATT: Takes the seal and brings to one of the candelabras that are alit within here and runs the seal across the flame, and you watch the symbol glare with gold.

LAURA: Whoa.

CHRISTIAN: Cool.

TRAVIS: Damn!

MATT: There is a magical element to the wax seal on it that glitters.

LAURA: Looks like that magic's still working.

MATT: "Well,"

CHRISTIAN: (laughs)

MATT: "I'll be damned. Well, my apologies for my extremely rude introduction."

TRAVIS: (haughtily) Not at all.

AABRIA: The guy on the left, I would love a glass of champers.

ASHLEY: Oh yes.

(laughter)

MATT: The big dwarf goes, looks over, "Well, get her some champers, come on!"

(laughter)

MATT: "Well, royal guests are a rare find. Indeed, it is an honor to have you here amongst my boutique. What can I help you with, and how quickly can we get you all in some of my clothing?"

AABRIA: You go, you go, you go.

TRAVIS: Me? No please.

AABRIA: I'm blacking out at this point. Don't worry about me. (laughs)

TRAVIS: Well, we have a royal business to attend to, and adventuring needs that need to be fulfilled, but we will need to do so in style.

MATT: "Well, you happen to be in the right place," as she plucks her finger in the air and you see a bunch of rolls of fabric glitter and move on their own. You now notice that she is an arcane-inclined--

LAURA: Oh wow.

MATT: -- crafter and designer of clothing.

LAURA: Oh, does that mean you enchant your clothing as well?

MATT: "Oh, all of my clothing is enchanting."

TRAVIS: Oh! (fingers snap)

MATT: "But not necessarily enchanted."

LAURA: Got it.

MATT: "I mean, I just create it through magical means."

CHRISTIAN: (laughs)

MATT: "That's my specialty. If you want to take it somewhere and get it enchanted that's up to you entirely. But I have a lot of turnaround I have to get through. Not quite time to do full enchantments. But regardless, what can I do? What can I help you with?" To that point, what is it that you want? What outfits are you looking for? Please describe what you want to have custom made.

LAURA: Ah!

AABRIA: Oh yeah.

CHRISTIAN: I feel like I'm in the Louis Vuitton store.

LAURA: I know, right?

TRAVIS: Who wants to go first, me? You want to go?

SAM: It's up to you, you go.

CHRISTIAN: I don't know anymore.

TRAVIS: Well, I'll go. I usually have lots of skin showing, you know, because I like to let everybody check it out, because I'm working, but because it's going to be fucking cold for the next titty bit.

AABRIA: Just a tit nipply.

TRAVIS: Just a tit nipply.

(laughs)

MATT: "Yes, yes."

TRAVIS: I would like to--

SAM: (sneezes)

TRAVIS: Perhaps--

AABRIA: Bless you!

TRAVIS: You know, in my older years--

ASHLEY: Shh!

TRAVIS: -- comfort is really top of mind. So I was thinking if you had some sort of very soft, velvety fabric, perhaps a purple, or a blue, or a green in the cooler palette, like a velvet tracksuit, maybe.

LAURA: Oh my god.

TRAVIS: That would be very athletic, but also very casual to protect from the elements. I have a tendency to change my size dramatically from one moment to the next. Don't ask. It's really fucking awesome.

MATT: "I won't ask."

TRAVIS: So if it has any kind of, you know, stretching capabilities, or durability even, that would be amazing.

MATT: (claps) Claps twice, and you look in the back as this young little dwarf, probably can't be more than 20, 25 equivalent, with this a scruff (poofs) on the end of his chin there.

(laughter)

MATT: Hair slicked back, has a number of cluttered tape measures thrown over his shoulders. Goes, "I got it, I'll get right to it!" And runs off into the back room. She goes, "All right, we'll get you taken care of."

TRAVIS: Thank you.

MATT: "Anything else in accessories?"

TRAVIS: I don't think so. I didn't think about accessories.

MATT: "Well, think on it still. We'll get to that momentarily."

TRAVIS: Thank you.

MATT: "Anyone else here?"

SAM: Are you two going to upgrade your outfits for--

LAURA: We're just going to say--

AABRIA: Yeah!

LAURA: -- what we really want.

AABRIA: Good luck, girls.

LAURA: Mine's not very cold weather friendly, necessarily. I just drew something that I thought was pretty.

MATT: That works.

LAURA: Okay, so what I'm thinking is--

MATT: "Now we can insulate it, too, if need be."

LAURA: Oh great.

MATT: "We can make it secretly warm, if you want to."

LAURA: We'll see how that works.

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: Well, you see, I got this flowy sort of dress thing going on.

(laughter)

LAURA: I really like the flowiness. It works with things that I do. I want to get a flowy dress that goes all the way to the ground with long sleeves that are fitted.

MATT: "Mm-hmm."

LAURA: Then underneath it I want, (laughs) a leather body piece sort of thing.

AABRIA: Yeah! (claps)

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: For cold weather insulation.

AABRIA: For cold weather.

LAURA: I'm going to go with a leather overcoat that's cropped and fitted at the waist.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: With a cold hood that can go over my head.

AABRIA: Yeah, oh yeah.

SAM: That sounds very warm.

AABRIA: So cute.

ASHLEY: The skirt's sheer too.

LAURA: And the skirt is sheer. I want it to be super flowy so when I do my magic it still flows up.

ASHLEY: Yes.

AABRIA: Love it, love it, love it.

MATT: "Now do you want the sleeves to be fitted all the way to just the cuff, or do you want them to go a bit into the back of the hand or what--"

LAURA: I would like for the dress sleeve to go pointed into the finger and then the coat sleeve can come just like that.

MATT: "All right, well," (claps) claps twice, and in the back you see this small, really, really crotchety old, gnomish woman with this massive bundle of forehead wrinkles that becomes the sagging brow that nearly covers the entirety of her eyes, who pulls out with this Bea Arthur type hair and clothing, attire. Goes, "I'll get right on it."

TRAVIS: Sybil?

(laughter)

TRAVIS: No, just kidding.

(laughter)

CHRISTIAN: My heart dropped.

MATT: Yeah.

(laughter)

LAURA: Maybe I can--

MATT: "Virginia, but nice try!"

LAURA: Maybe I can make the coat sleeves removable so when we get in warm weather then I can not be too hot.

AABRIA: Yeah.

MATT: "I'll get right on it."

SAM: Oh god.

AABRIA: Incredible.

LAURA: I want it to be sheer, so I want to see the lightning bolts on my skin now, you know what I mean?

ASHLEY: Nice.

AABRIA: Nice.

MATT: I got it.

CHRISTIAN: Yeah.

MATT: Coming across to the table here.

SAM: Sure. I think over at Jaquoby's the armor that he plopped on me has given me a sort of a golden sheen instead of a yellow sheen. So it's more of a gold--

MATT: Gold with silver accents.

SAM: Yeah, gold with silver accents. So to keep a little blue going, I'm going to--

AABRIA: (laughs)

SAM: -- ask for an insp--

(laughter)

SAM: Inspired by FRIDA, I'd like a long duster jacket. Right, that's what you have?

CHRISTIAN: Like this.

SAM: Yeah, like that. But his is dark green leather. Right?

LAURA: Like an emerald green?

CHRISTIAN: Emerald, yeah.

SAM: Yeah, I'll have a dark blue leather--

LAURA: Ooh!

SAM: -- if that's all right?

MATT: "That can be done." She goes ahead and flicks her finger and you watch as this heavy roll on the secondary floor, (whooshes) drifts over and (thuds) lands on the ground next to her with this thick really well cured, smooth-looking, like a deer skin blue leather.

SAM: Cool.

MATT: And causes it drift off to one of the nearby tables where it plops down, unrolls, and some of the other figures start going through and pulling out patterns and getting it ready while looking over at you and making measurements and cutting it down. "Who else?"

AABRIA: Deanna will step up, and she takes off her big cozy sweater thing. Let me be very clear: She's built like a Pixar mom: tiny upper body, absolutely dump truck ass.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Yes.

TRAVIS: Pixar mom.

MATT and ASHLEY: Yes!

AABRIA: She's giving Elastigirl.

LAURA: Yeah, Ms. Incredible.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Servin' it.

MATT: Love it.

AABRIA: Riffing off of Imogen: Yeah, can I do a little, a sort of stretch green body suit under, we're not going to hide our body anymore. We're renaissance. It's fine.

ASHLEY: You show it.

LAURA: We're showing it.

AABRIA: Yeah, we're showing it.

ASHLEY: Yeah, you show that butt.

AABRIA: Let's show it!

MATT: "Of course."

AABRIA: Yeah.

MATT: "Right on it." She puts her hands together in a one big clap and you watch as two small goblin figures curl out with impeccable, double-breasted, leather tops with long sleeves, and these nice pants on that are fitted, and one of them has a monocle and the other one has this really thin mustache that's not been kept well, it's been penciled in to try and fill the gaps. They both go, "We'll help you immediately, right this way." They pull you off to the side to start measuring up.

SAM: It's all you.

ASHLEY: Did you already go? Did you go? Are you getting anything?

CHRISTIAN: I...

MATT: Has this coat.

CHRISTIAN: You made that for me a while back and it has served me very well.

MATT: "Mm-hmm."

CHRISTIAN: There's a bit of a rip in it, but that's not--

MATT: "I was looking, a bit of wear and tear, but that's easy enough to fix." She drifts her hand over it and all the--

CHRISTIAN: Oh wow.

MATT: -- damage on it (whooshing) clears up.

CHRISTIAN: Well, that was, that was very impressive. I, if you remember, I had you inscribe a name on the inside of the jacket, Deanna's, do you mind in that yellow, blueish, could you write FCG on the inside?

MATT: "That can be done."

CHRISTIAN: Okay.

MATT: "Not a worry."

SAM: We are essentially married at this point.

(laughter)

LAURA: I mean, yeah.

AABRIA: Incredible.

ASHLEY: Yeah. Oh, hi, where are your finest top shelf fabrics?

TRAVIS: Whoa.

AABRIA: Let's go.

TRAVIS: Whoa.

ASHLEY: I need silks. I need organza. I need tulle. I need...

TRAVIS: What was the word you used then?

CHRISTIAN: Organza.

ASHLEY: Just all of it. What do you have?

MATT: "Well, by royal decree, whatever you want."

TRAVIS: (laughing) Ooh!

ASHLEY: All right, so--

MATT: "The invoice goes to them at the end, after all."

CHRISTIAN: You're going to take them to the bank.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're making sure that they're paying for it. I start pulling all of the fabrics in a big pile, and then put them there. Okay. So, I'm thinking even more like Rococo.

LAURA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Even more of a corset. It's more of a sleeve here that, you know, poofies, and some beautiful silks all over, but legs are, op-- So you can see my legs. Those are warm because they're just all the fur. Got to show the hams, and-- Or gams. (laughs)

AABRIA: No, no, no.

MATT: Got to show the hams.

AABRIA: Got to show the hams.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Got to show the hams.

AABRIA: It's a very hams-forward look.

ASHLEY: Got to show my hams, my ham hocks. Then--

TRAVIS: Hams.

ASHLEY: I also-- Deanna.

AABRIA: Yeah?

ASHLEY: Would you be able to knit me something if I draw it for you?

AABRIA: Uh, (sobs) yes!

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Oh, all right.

AABRIA: Also, I want a corset, too! I want corset, too.

ASHLEY: Oh yeah, she needs a corset.

MATT: "Corset, corset!"

LAURA: Yeah, I mean, obviously--

MATT: The goblin's like--

LAURA: -- I want some sort of--

AABRIA: Some cinchy--

LAURA: Yeah, cinching, beauty--

ASHLEY: Are we getting matching corsets?

AABRIA: Yes!

ASHLEY: Oh my god, I love this.

MATT: "Corsets all around!"

ASHLEY: Best friends corsets.

LAURA: Right, right.

TRAVIS: I don't need a corset.

ASHLEY: Yes, just laces, and you know, boobies up to here, and all the stuff, and--

MATT: "Would you like us to incorporate this breastplate you're wearing, the leather bits?"

ASHLEY: Oh yes, of course. How could I forget?

MATT: "I'll just--

LAURA: (as Fearne) Oh shit, right.

ASHLEY: I also want, for your accessories, I think I want long tippy finger jewels.

AABRIA: Yes!

MATT: "For both hands?"

SAM: What's that mean?

ASHLEY: Yeah, I'll do both, well--

MATT: "We'll make you both, and you can decide to wear one or the other."

ASHLEY: Make me both and I can decide.

MATT: "Make sure we charge for both."

TRAVIS: Yeah!

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Maybe some jewels, just go to town.

MATT: "We will go to town."

ASHLEY: Ah, love it.

MATT: "After all, the least we could do for the heroes of the city. (laughs)"

ASHLEY: The protectors of the--

MATT: "Protectors, protectors."

LAURA: Diarchy.

ASHLEY: Diarchy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: "Yes, the Diarchy. (laughs) Wonderful, wonderful. We'll get right on it." "With expedited service, which costs a little extra."

TRAVIS: Of course.

MATT: "Mark that down as well. We might be able to be done within the next few hours."

LAURA: Oh, wow.

CHRISTIAN: Ooh, lovely.

LAURA: Do you have any sheer fabrics with embroidery on them?

AABRIA: Ooh.

MATT: "I can add embroidery wherever you like."

LAURA: That would be wonderful, yeah.

MATT: "Very well."

TRAVIS: Could you also incorporate, I love this cloak, and it has a hood that comes up in my tracksuit. Could I have a removable or tuckable hood that pops up?

(laughter)

TRAVIS: I call it--

AABRIA: Full Russian mobster.

TRAVIS: -- a hoodie.

SAM: Oh, sure, sure.

MATT: (laughs)

CHRISTIAN: Oh. Hoodie.

LAURA: That's great. That's real smart.

ASHLEY: I don't know if I like that word at all.

TRAVIS: I don't know, it's a work in progress.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Hood-day.

CHRISTIAN: Hood-day?

ASHLEY and LAURA: Hood-day.

TRAVIS: Hood-day.

MATT: (Russian) "You must be careful for this is the realm of where Chetney Pock O'Pea is known to lurk."

AABRIA: (Russian) Chetney Pock O'Pea.

MATT: "(Russian) He's pretty dangerous blood hunter."

TRAVIS: Also, Deanna.

AABRIA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: If you wouldn't mind, I might also ask for a custom, maybe a knitted something that could cover up my forehead--

AABRIA: Yes, yes!

TRAVIS: -- and keep the sweat out of my eyes, and maybe also something matching for my wrists?

SAM: Ooh.

AABRIA: Done.

ASHLEY: Wow.

AABRIA: Done and done. This was the best day of my life!

TRAVIS: Great.

AABRIA: Can I have bigger Uggs?

CHRISTIAN: I'm going to make eye contact--

AABRIA: More poofy.

CHRISTIAN: -- and talk into your head.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

LAURA: Okay.

LAURA: Is something up?

AABRIA: Hell yes.

LAURA: Head connection.

CHRISTIAN: Head connection.

LAURA: Yeah.

CHRISTIAN: I know your friends are okay. I mean, I feel it. Is there anything you want to get here for any of them?

LAURA: Oh, wow. I mean, I wouldn't even begin to know.

CHRISTIAN: That's okay.

LAURA: I'll think on it. Thank you for the reminder.

CHRISTIAN: Well, the king and queen are paying.

LAURA: (laughs) That's true. I look down at my red bracelet. I'll think on it.

AABRIA: Can we get a little bull? Just a little bull embroidered in the corner, so everyone remembers where we all got this from?

ASHLEY: Yes, yes.

MATT: Sure.

AABRIA: I would like that very much.

ASHLEY: Love it.

MATT: Easy enough to do. Okay, okay.

ASHLEY: Wait. I'm going to go over to Imogen. Should we get anything for Laudna, and--

LAURA: Oh my gosh, that's what-- FRIDA literally just thought of that. We should--

ASHLEY: Oh, really?

LAURA: Yeah.

CHRISTIAN: In my head.

ASHLEY: Oh, oh. Oh! Okay.

AABRIA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: You guys, should we get something for Laudna, and--

(laughter)

ASHLEY: So wild, I just said that to Imogen, and FRIDA just said it to her.

TRAVIS: I mean, it's like Orym's the only one that didn't think of it. What is up with that?

LAURA: Orym? That's not Orym, that's FCG.

SAM: Oh, sorry, I went in the back, I just picked this out for Laudna.

TRAVIS: You guys, this is it.

(laughter)

SAM: It's like a--

AABRIA: I don't like the way you're holding it.

SAM: It's a black negligee.

(laughter)

SAM: It's the only black thing I could find.

LAURA: You know what, though? We are all getting matching corsets, I think it would be nice if we got Laudna a corset to match ours.

ASHLEY: I do, too. Let's get her a corset.

LAURA: In black.

AABRIA: That would be so good.

LAURA: I bet she would really appreciate that.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that, I love that.

SAM: So can I keep this then?

LAURA: Whether she wears it-- Yeah, you can wear that yourself--

SAM: All right.

LAURA: -- if you'd like.

TRAVIS: Artists at work.

(laughter)

MATT: One of the artisans' assistants marks it down on the tally. (laughs) All right.

ASHLEY: I think that's it.

SAM: I'm going to add it to my inventory.

MATT: So, in the time waiting for these outfits, you begin knitting the promised things, which you are a consummate knitter.

ASHLEY: I'm thinking something like--

AABRIA: Notes, give them.

ASHLEY: Okay. So, a hood for sure.

AABRIA: How does knitting work?

ASHLEY: But you know, it comes down to a point with a poof at the end.

AABRIA: Of course. What color for the poof?

LAURA: This is like the thing you got me.

ASHLEY: Oh god.

MATT: Hm?

LAURA: That coat that you got me.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

ASHLEY: I'm still thinking on color.

AABRIA: Okay.

ASHLEY: Because I don't know what color the rest of my outfit will be yet.

AABRIA: That's fair.

ASHLEY: Something I'll think about when we start--

AABRIA: Okay, okay, okay.

ASHLEY: -- drawing it out, but that's for later. Then something my arm can go through, but it also wraps around, and goes down.

AABRIA: Ooh, we like texture, and a little asymmetrical.

ASHLEY: Yes.

AABRIA: Oh, that's so good.

ASHLEY: Yes, I've been watching "Willow."

(laughter)

TRAVIS: All the vibes!

ASHLEY: One of the characters has a really cool knit piece.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

ASHLEY: That's the inspo.

AABRIA: Done, done.

ASHLEY: It's really cute.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: But I'll give you a drawing.

AABRIA: Yeah, of course.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

AABRIA: I'm going to need all of your best alpaca, just all the good-- I want your best fiber. This is for my friends.

MATT: "That can be done. There are the finest of Flotket sheep, and goat wool that has been--"

TRAVIS: Nice.

MATT: "-- prepared for just such an endeavor. What dye coloration would you prefer?"

AABRIA: All of them. I need to have-- (gasps)

MATT: (magical poofs) You watch as she magically changes the color of all the different clusters.

TRAVIS: She's awesome. Fuck.

AABRIA: I may die here. I may die in here, right now.

ASHLEY: We'll take all of them.

MATT: (rapid magical poofs) Gets you a rainbow spree.

LAURA: Wow.

TRAVIS: King and queen are going to be like, "What the fuck?!"

(laughter)

MATT: Oh, they're going to be--

TRAVIS: You better rein that in.

ASHLEY: We did a very good deed.

AABRIA: Yeah.

MATT: You did, you did.

CHRISTIAN and AABRIA: (laugh)

MATT: But quicker than you expected, the outfits are presented.

SAM: Amazing.

LAURA: Wow.

MATT: All individually signed in hidden areas by Catlyn herself. A Delafin mark.

AABRIA: Amazing.

TRAVIS: Damn.

ASHLEY: FCG, you look great!

SAM: Why thank you.

ASHLEY: How was your date?

AABRIA: Ooh?

ASHLEY: Just hanging out.

AABRIA: Yeah, how was it?

SAM: Yeah, it was good. Yeah, we just walked and talked, and c-caught up on stuff. I got a little tour of the city. I met Jaquoby, and, you know, nothing happened.

CHRISTIAN: Yeah, nothing happened.

SAM: Everything was fine.

AABRIA: Insight check.

CHRISTIAN: I walk up and I grab his hand.

TRAVIS: Why would anything happen?

AABRIA: Goddamn it.

SAM: (laughs)

TRAVIS: (laughs)

LAURA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Oh. How nice.

LAURA: In your head, you hear: What happened?

AABRIA: (laughs)

SAM: Well, more than what happened with you and Pretty.

AABRIA: Damn!

LAURA: Oh shit.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Oh boy.

AABRIA: I don't care, I felt that. I felt that.

MATT: (laughs)

CHRISTIAN: You'd see as he was made a little uncomfortable by this, I slip by, I stand next to him, and grab his hand.

LAURA: And pat his butt.

CHRISTIAN: And tap him on his--

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Clank clank.

MATT and AABRIA: Yeah!

(laughter)

AABRIA: Incredible.

CHRISTIAN: I hold his hand.

ASHLEY: Oh.

LAURA: Oh wow!

AABRIA: Oh!

SAM: We don't have to make a big thing of it, but yeah, I mean, this is happening.

(laughter)

SAM: So, you know.

AABRIA: Are you okay?

SAM: Uh-uh. Yeah. How's my stress points doing?

AABRIA: (laughs)

MATT: You know what? You take one--

SAM: Uh-huh?

MATT: -- lose one.

SAM: Oh.

MATT: Then take another.

SAM: Oh!

AABRIA: Yay!

MATT: (laughs) So you're up one.

SAM: Okay.

AABRIA: Nice.

TRAVIS: Sounds right.

LAURA: Yeah, that sounds about right.

SAM: We should get a rest.

AABRIA: Yeah, okay.

TRAVIS: We should, yeah. Hold on. I can't. Higher? Lower? Higher?

AABRIA: Lower.

TRAVIS: Lower.

MATT: It's got some room to it, you know? But it definitely has some stretch to give.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Are the bottom of the pants--?

LAURA: Oh, I can't wait. If he turns into a wolf--

ASHLEY: Cut.

MATT: Oh yeah.

LAURA: -- and he's still in the tracksuit.

(laughter)

MATT: It was designed to grow--

LAURA: Oh my god.

MATT: -- much like the Hulk's pants.

CHRISTIAN: Yes. Yes!

AABRIA: Oh my god.

LAURA: A wolf in a hoodie?

CHRISTIAN: Tracksuit mafia.

LAURA: It makes me so happy.

AABRIA: Let's fucking go.

MATT: You know, role-playing games.

TRAVIS: There's a small flap in the butt where the tail can just boop.

(laughter)

AABRIA: Oh!

LAURA: It's so cute!

ASHLEY: (tail springing out)

MATT: Oh my goodness.

AABRIA: Adorable.

TRAVIS: (tail springing out)

(laughter)

MATT: "Well, I hope you're all happy with the work we've done here."

SAM: We sure are!

TRAVIS: It's immaculate.

SAM: It's fantastic.

MATT: "Should you ever want any updates, upgrades, or more decrees from the king and queen with a blank check, please do come back. We are ever happy to make commission work. (laughs)"

TRAVIS: Thank you! We'll be sure to tell everyone.

ASHLEY: Thank you so much!

MATT: "Yes, please do. Spread the word! (chuckles)"

CHRISTIAN: You all drinking and eating folks, did you like that bubbly alcohol that they gave you?

TRAVIS: The champers?

CHRISTIAN: The champers?

TRAVIS: Yeah, that and other stuff.

CHRISTIAN: Can we have--

AABRIA: Yeah.

CHRISTIAN: -- a bottle or two of the champers?

AABRIA: Champers!

TRAVIS: Champers.

CHRISTIAN: Champers?

ASHLEY: Champers, yeah.

MATT: "Two bottles of champers."

CHRISTIAN: Yes.

MATT: (mutters) "Over the top of this group." (normal volume) "Yes, right over here, there we go."

AABRIA: I'm done.

ASHLEY: Great idea.

CHRISTIAN: Oh.

TRAVIS: Bwah!

SAM: (bubbles exploding)

TRAVIS: We got it.

(laughter)

MATT: Very well.

SAM: A night of rest, and then we set off in the morning?

TRAVIS: A night of rest.

AABRIA: Let's go.

TRAVIS: As we're heading back, I wanted to ask, though, you guys mentioned that you were in Eiselcross before this?

AABRIA: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: What were you doing up there?

AABRIA: Let's talk about it in the house.

TRAVIS: Okay, yep.

LAURA: Oh.

AABRIA: Drunk walk.

MATT: You all are gathered back up, because it is now evening, as the time has passed of the day with you wandering about, doing the commissions, checking in with people, doing your own business. But the sun is set on the outside, but here on the mountain, the transition has gone unnoticed, pardon me, other than the lights of the-- the still working lights of the city dimming naturally ever so slightly to help those adjust to the changing of the time. Eventually you come back to Deanna's home, the comfortable warm interior, and begin to settle in for the evening.

AABRIA: So, FRIDA gets dreams, so we were like, let's go find Aeor. So we went, and it was bad. You got more to add to that?

LAURA: You went to Aeor?

CHRISTIAN: Eiselcross, we--

AABRIA: Yeah.

CHRISTIAN: Yeah, the ruins. We were trying to see if maybe I could feel some sort of connection, or learn more about my dreams, but when we got there, it was crawling with all kinds of bad folks, and--

LAURA: Oh.

AABRIA: Xhorhasian soldiers everywhere, and monsters, and it was the scariest thing in the world until we met you guys.

ASHLEY: Whoa.

TRAVIS: Dang!

AABRIA: Yeah.

SAM: So, you just went to snoop around, and then, but you were chased away? Did you get to see anything, or--?

CHRISTIAN: We made a decision that we should probably leave, maybe come back at a later time when we were more prepared, because I don't think we could've handled the trouble that we were walking into there.

LAURA: It's very difficult to get to, isn't it?

CHRISTIAN: Yes.

AABRIA: Mm-hmm.

SAM: Yet you said it was crawling with soldiers, like hundreds? Thousands?

AABRIA: Oh. No.

SAM: Dozens?

AABRIA: Jeez. Split the difference.

SAM: Hundreds.

AABRIA: Many hundreds.

SAM: Hundreds.

LAURA: Wow.

TRAVIS: That's busy up there. Huh.

AABRIA: They're staking their claim, looking for stuff.

CHRISTIAN: Powerful magic there, I imagine.

AABRIA: Trying to scavenge.

TRAVIS: Real estate is valuable.

LAURA: I wonder what it's like now.

AABRIA: Mm-hmm.

CHRISTIAN: That's a good question.

AABRIA: Hmm.

CHRISTIAN: I would like very much to return at some point in the future.

AABRIA: Of course.

TRAVIS: Oh, we're doing this. We're going to go for the ruins of Molaesmyr tomorrow.

LAURA: This is so weird.

SAM: Are you nervous, Chetney?

TRAVIS: Well, yeah. I mean, I don't want to get my new dope tracksuit all fucked up.

(laughter)

SAM: That's true.

TRAVIS: Or maybe I do. I can't tell. But also, this is an upgrade from, I don't know, the previous 400 years for me.

CHRISTIAN: (laughs)

AABRIA: Oh, it's not-- Okay, yeah, cool.

TRAVIS: You know?

AABRIA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Oh I know. It's 200, skip, it's a--

AABRIA: No, see, it's so wild--

TRAVIS: I know.

AABRIA: Numbers. Time is linear.

CHRISTIAN: I think it's worth asking. This is our fight as well, but your fight. Is it okay if Deanna and I join you? Do you want us there?

AABRIA: Wait, were we not going to go?

TRAVIS: Whoa, that's a little--

ASHLEY: Wait, wait, what?

AABRIA: Were you not going to let us go with you?

TRAVIS: Of course, yeah.

ASHLEY: We couldn't do it ourselves.

SAM: It could be very dangerous, you could be hurt in the process. Are you sure you want to?

AABRIA: I'm very good at not staying hurt.

SAM: What?

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Let me get you some water, hold on.

(laughter)

AABRIA: I'm good at keeping people up.

SAM: Yeah.

AABRIA: And it's more dangerous now if you can't bring people back.

TRAVIS: Oh shit, that's right.

AABRIA: We want to help.

CHRISTIAN: I think it's important, if things get too sticky, we run. We can't bring anyone back, so.

TRAVIS: Very fair.

CHRISTIAN: If we got to get out of there, we got to get out of there.

TRAVIS: I just assumed, because this shit is crazy, that you guys wouldn't want to come.

AABRIA: What? Do you think we want to stay at home? Sorry, stay at home here?

TRAVIS: Not the velvet!

LAURA: Prestidigitation.

TRAVIS: Oh! Thank you.

CHRISTIAN: That is so cool.

LAURA: Yeah.

AABRIA: You're so cool.

TRAVIS: Dry cleaning.

AABRIA: No. You guys are the most exciting thing that's happened to us since we found each other.

LAURA: Prestidigitation.

TRAVIS: No!

(laughter)

AABRIA: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Prestidigitation, but I miss.

TRAVIS: No one's talking about it!

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Prestidigitation!

(laughter)

AABRIA: And do-- why would, eh, why, wait. It would be boring to stay here without you all.

ASHLEY: No, no, no, you're coming, you're coming.

AABRIA: Thank you!

ASHLEY: You're coming, we wouldn't be able to, what did we get best friends corsets for?

AABRIA: We're best friends?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: You do have matching corsets.

AABRIA: Is that going to be weird?

TRAVIS: Matching corsets?

AABRIA: No, because we banged in the day.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: It's true.

AABRIA: Yeah.

LAURA: I'll just, I'm going to pick up the champagne with my Mage Hand, and just hmm.

AABRIA: Probably a good call. No, my juice, no.

TRAVIS: Oh no!

(laughter)

AABRIA: Okay, then it's settled. We all go together in the morning.

TRAVIS: Yeah, Matron of Ravens temple before we go, and then--

LAURA: Oh yeah.

TRAVIS: We grab some goats.

LAURA: (coughs)

AABRIA: Oh yeah.

SAM: Why are we going to the Matron of?

TRAVIS: I just want to see if it's weird, or broken, or cracked.

LAURA: I would like to see if the Matron is suffering the same as the rest of the gods.

TRAVIS: Just because they were all wearing the weird emblems and stuff.

LAURA: And what does it mean if the goddess of death is not around?

TRAVIS: Yeah, it might be the same as everybody else. It could be fast, but--

ASHLEY: Maybe nobody dies.

CHRISTIAN: That's a horrible idea.

AABRIA: No, I think that's the opposite of what we learned. People dying and staying dead.

ASHLEY: This is very song-- strong champers--

AABRIA: Right?

(laughter)

AABRIA: I'm going to run across the room to wherever Imogen put it down.

LAURA: Nope, nope.

AABRIA: I got you!

LAURA: Nope, nope, nope--

AAABRIA: Don't hold it up high, come on!

(laughter)

AABRIA: Rude!

TRAVIS: Rah!

AABRIA: Oh!

(laughter)

LAURA: It's going to be a early morning, you know? It's going to be so.

TRAVIS: Do we get breakfast round two?

AABRIA: Hell yeah.

TRAVIS: Hell yeah.

AABRIA: This will be my masterpiece.

TRAVIS: All right, well, D team's taking the couch just in case anybody gets ♪ A-lonely hah, hoo ♪

SAM: Good god.

(laughter)

AABRIA: Mm-mm.

MATT: Lesser Restoration comes in handy as a cleric.

AABRIA: 100%.

MATT: Hangover! I'm good.

AABRIA: That's why she drinks like a fish. She's like, I've never had a hangover for more than two minutes.

TRAVIS: No problem, let's just hope it's still around in the morning.

AABRIA: Thank you! (cackles) I've never had a consequence.

(laughter)

MATT: All righty, any business anyone wants to get to before the evening's done?

ASHLEY: I forgot a piece of jewelry at Catlyn's, so I'm going to run out there really quick and go get it.

TRAVIS: At whose?

ASHLEY: Catlyn, the clothing--

SAM: Going shopping again.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Needed some more stuff.

CHRISTIAN: You'll be okay, Ms. Calloway?

ASHLEY: Oh, yes yes yes yes yes.

AABRIA: Are you lying to do crimes?

ASHLEY: I'm not doing crimes.

AABRIA: Okay.

CHRISTIAN: If you are doing crimes, you should let us know.

AABRIA: We'll help.

ASHLEY: I'm not doing crimes. I'm definitely not doing crimes.

TRAVIS: She's got to toot. She's got to go outside.

ASHLEY: I have really bad gas.

AABRIA: You don't have to lie.

SAM: It was the bulgogi.

ASHLEY: It was the bulgogi.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: It was the bulgogi.

AABRIA: I'm glad we stopped on the way. It was good takeaway.

ASHLEY: Delicious. How close is the Wildmother temple that you were saying, that's like the little stairs?

TRAVIS: On the top of a mountain, right?

ASHLEY: Is it outside?

MATT: It's outside of the city, and it's along the mountain, a little bit of a journey.

ASHLEY: I misunderstood.

MATT: It's okay. It'll take you, from where you are, because you're technically on the top disc where Deanna's abode is, so it's maybe, you'd assume, between a 15 and 20 minute walk.

ASHLEY: All right. I'll be right back! I'll be right back. I'll be right back.

MATT: Okay, so you head out of the city, heading up the steps. The Glassblades there recognize you as the one who fled from the terrifying spider creature not but a few hours before.

ASHLEY: I'll be right back. I'll be right back.

MATT: "Of course, Miss. Of course, Miss." You step out into the moonlit night above. You can see now, for this evening, most of the clouds have dissipated, and the stars are above, and the technicolor aurora still glides across the horizon on different tethers. You can see the long leyline strings, not ever-present, but you can visually see where the gossamer threads slightly shift and drift in their place in the sky, all convening at far distance points that you can't quite make out in the distance. You can see the snow-covered forest below in the ravine and the nearby mountains that surround you in the alps. As you glance beyond the outskirts of the Gruffside Livery and the entry point to the city, the other walls and the towers, you can see the stone steps that curl up and switchback up the side of the mountain.

ASHLEY: Wow, that champers keeps you so warm.

CHRISTIAN and MATT: (laugh)

ASHLEY: Okay. I'm walking up to the--

MATT: You eventually come to an outcropping that juts out from the mountain, about 20 feet by 30 or so feet. It's simple. There is a small stone fence that's marked to prevent anyone from tumbling off it. In the center of it, you can see there is a small garden that grows beautifully, and while everything else around here still carries a coat of snow, no snow seems to have fallen on the greenery within this small circle. It's an odd little visual here in the midst of the cold night air, the flowers still open like the sun is fully there to receive them. In the middle of it, you see about a four foot, smaller than any other statue you've seen, but a four-foot statue of a relief of the Wildmother standing there, her form, her arms up and smiling.

ASHLEY: All right. I'm going to go up to it. Pull some flowers out of the dirt and put it--

LAURA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: (knocks) Knock on the statue.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Hey, bitch.

AABRIA: (whispering) Hey, bitch?

ASHLEY: I don't know how to do this. I don't even know if you're there. Could be dead. Could be talking to nothing, which I actually do a lot. Never mind. Okay. I came here to say, if you're there, maybe you can talk to my friend Orym and try to say that we're okay and we're alive and hopefully we'll see you soon. I think that's it. All right. Well, I'm going to-- I'm going to go back, unless-- Are you supposed to say anything to me? Do I do-- Amen.

CHRISTIAN: (chuckles)

ASHLEY: Do I hear anything?

MATT: Make a perception check.

ASHLEY: 23.

SAM: Ooh!

MATT: 23. You stand there in the silence, looking over the dark, moon-rimmed ravine, a little bit of Catha's light that gleams across. All you hear is (hollow blowing) the cold wind blowing through the mountain range. Maybe that's a sign. Who knows?

ASHLEY: I think you might be dead. I think-- All right. Well, I'm going to go. Sorry I called you bitch. It was a term of endearment, because that's what happens when I drink. I just get really friendly.

AABRIA: (laughs) All right. Okay, I'm going to go. Bye.

MATT: You look back at it, the flowers you've left behind, the welcoming appearance of the Wildmother's relief and think on Orym, and then trek back down the somewhat slick and treacherous steps. But thankfully, you're a creature whose body is designed for traversing such dangerous mountainous terrain.

ASHLEY: Billy goat.

MATT: You leap down a few steps at a time before landing in a soft bank of snow, and then heading back into the city.

ASHLEY: Open the gates! (laughter)

(heavy gate shifting)

MATT: They open.

ASHLEY: Night!

(laughter)

MATT: "Goodnight, Miss! She's kind of cute." Doors close.

LAURA: Kind of?

ASHLEY: I head back.

MATT and LAURA: (laugh)

MATT: Eventually returning to your friends.

ASHLEY: I head back. I'm going to go over to Chetney on the couch.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: I'm going to flick him on the nose.

TRAVIS: Ah!

ASHLEY: Hey, dumbass.

TRAVIS: What?

ASHLEY: If you don't make a move on that woman, I'm going to.

TRAVIS: Oh. Sorry, I just woke up. Are you saying you want to join, or--

ASHLEY: No, no, no, no, no.

TRAVIS: -- me make--

ASHLEY: Chetney.

TRAVIS: What?

ASHLEY: The chemistry. She's wonderful.

TRAVIS: Totally.

ASHLEY: You need to-- I'm a fan. I feel like she's very special, and I don't think you should pass that up. But if you're not wanting to, just tell me, so that I can.

TRAVIS: Damn. Well, I put the invite out, so I don't want to overstep my bounds. Plus, the champers has been, you know, doing its thing, so I didn't want to--

ASHLEY: Sure, sure, sure.

AABRIA: Ow! In the back room.

TRAVIS: You hear? Trust me, I remember that from two hundo ago. It was a thing on the beach.

ASHLEY: I bet.

TRAVIS: You wouldn't believe. We got almost arrested a couple times.

ASHLEY: Really?

TRAVIS: Yep. Public voyeurism. It was a whole thing.

ASHLEY: Wow.

TRAVIS: Yeah. We'd leave sand angels on the shoreline. It was incredible.

ASHLEY: No way!

TRAVIS: Yep, like a rotoscope. You could walk along the beach and see the different poses.

AABRIA: Told a story.

TRAVIS: Yep.

LAURA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: That is--

TRAVIS: The faster you ran, the hotter it got.

(laughter)

AABRIA: A zoetrope.

TRAVIS: A zoetrope! That's what I meant!

AABRIA: Yeah, I got you, I got you, I got you.

TRAVIS: Thank you. Rotoscope, zoetrope.

MATT: The concord's weirdly tight on this kind of thing.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: But listen.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: All's fair in love and war.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: I'm just saying.

ASHLEY: All right.

TRAVIS: All right.

ASHLEY: Game on. I'm going to go up for my slumber party.

TRAVIS: Oh shit!

(laughter)

AABRIA: Yeah!

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: All right.

ASHLEY: I'm back!

(laughter)

LAURA: Hey, bitch, hey.

ASHLEY: Hey, bitch!

AABRIA: What's up? You're cold from outside, maybe. Drink this.

LAURA: Oh!

AABRIA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: How're we feeling?

AABRIA: Oh god, so good.

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: What jewelry did you get?

ASHLEY: I got-- I didn't go to get jewelry. I went to the Wildmother altar.

LAURA: Outside of town?

ASHLEY: Yeah. I wanted to just-- Maybe there's a connection there with Orym, I don't know.

LAURA: Oh my god.

ASHLEY: Just to say we're alive.

LAURA: Did you find something?

AABRIA: That's so smart.

ASHLEY: No, I didn't. I don't think-- I don't know if she's even there. But I just thought it was--

AABRIA: I stopped by my temple when we were walking. I think there's all of the priests of all of them, are like, no one's picking up!

ASHLEY: No one's picking up.

AABRIA: But it doesn't feel like they're gone. Just like they're like, fucking, who's this?

LAURA: They're running away.

AABRIA: That. I think they're really, really worried about whatever you guys saw from the-- No, I'm not going to remember. Say it. I don't remember what it was called.

LAURA: Predathos. Apogee Solstice.

ASHLEY: Apogee Solstice.

AABRIA: So many new words.

LAURA: Yeah. It is scary and weird.

ASHLEY: Are you doing all right?

LAURA: I mean, as well as any of us. It's so strange to not know what's happening, just go about our business and have no way of making sure.

AABRIA: That's because you're in people's heads all the time, right, so you're used to knowing lots of stuff?

LAURA: I am. You know what's funny? This is the first time I've been in a city in 10 years when I haven't been enveloped by everybody's thoughts. It's so freeing. It's like I can finally feel like myself again. It's happening at the worst time.

AABRIA: Yeah. I'm sorry.

LAURA: No, it's-- It's good, it's bad, it's everything. It's everything.

ASHLEY: That seems to be how life works, where you have really intense moments of happiness, but sometimes they only happen when really bad things are also happening.

LAURA: Yeah.

AABRIA: It's like when you bake, and you make cookies, and you make a chocolate chip cookie, but you put just a little bit of salt on the top. The salt makes you understand how sweet the sweetness is, you know?

LAURA: You should probably give that hint to FCG, because I know he's working hard at figuring out those recipes.

AABRIA: He's doing so good for someone who can't taste a goddamn thing.

LAURA: So good. I know!

ASHLEY: I know!

AABRIA: Wild.

ASHLEY: It is wild.

AABRIA: The texture, it's a little crazy, but--

LAURA: They're really good at following directions, though, so, you know.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LAURA: I mean, I think that's part of their programming and stuff.

ASHLEY: Very much so. And FRIDA and FCG!

AABRIA: Oh my god, I know, right?

LAURA: What happened? I think something happened.

AABRIA: I don't know, but they were holding hands.

LAURA: Are they together in the room right now? Are they just together in FRIDA's room?

AABRIA: Fun fact. That's my kid's room.

LAURA: Oh!

AABRIA: I go and lean against the wall. It's a paper thin wall. This is a cheap house. You can hear what's in there if you just lean in.

LAURA: All of us.

AABRIA: Yeah.

MATT: All right, so the two of you, what are you up to?

(laughter)

CHRISTIAN: I don't know.

LAURA: (moans) (laughter)

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Laura Bailey!

MATT: Goddamn it, Laura!

TRAVIS: No chill! What the fuck?

AABRIA: A queen, an icon, a legend.

ASHLEY: A queen, an icon, extraordinary.

AABRIA: Give the people what they want.

SAM: Metal on metal, just scraping.

AABRIA: Yeah!

SAM: (metallic screeching)

ASHLEY: Metal on metal!

TRAVIS: Sounds like a drum set.

AABRIA: Just a jackhammer.

(laughter)

MATT: I was going to say like a fucking derby. Cars crashing into each other.

LAURA: Oh yeah!

(clangs metallic water bottle)

MATT: No, but for real! Please, what's going on with you guys?

CHRISTIAN: That was a lot of stuff today.

SAM: Yeah, it was a great day, though, and it's so nice that our friends are so supportive and understanding, giving us space.

AABRIA: (claps) (shouts) Kiss!

(claps)

TRAVIS: (laughs)

CHRISTIAN: I didn't realize how thin these walls were.

SAM: I didn't realize how alcoholic that champagne--

ASHLEY: Don't forget to attach your meat tongue!

SAM: God.

CHRISTIAN: You have a meat tongue?

SAM: It's weird. It's like--

LAURA: No!

SAM: It's like a Schrödinger's tongue. If you try to perceive it, it's not there.

ASHLEY: (laughs)

AABRIA: You can only see it out of the corner of your eye.

MATT: Phantom tongue syndrome?

SAM: Yeah.

AABRIA: Oh no!

SAM: It's real, but only in quantum space.

TRAVIS: Quantum space?

MATT: I hate this.

CHRISTIAN: I was going to ask if you wanted to maybe enter my dream again, but I think that would sully what we had today, so maybe we can just-- I mean, I've never slept with someone else. Maybe we can hold hands and power off together.

SAM: That sounds great. That sounds great. That would be the perfect ending to a perfect day.

CHRISTIAN: I like you, FCG.

SAM: I like you, FRIDA. Oh boy.

CHRISTIAN: Faithful Care-Giver. It suits you.

SAM: I guess so.

CHRISTIAN: You want to give them a little something? I lean in and kiss, and you hear the clink.

AABRIA: Yes!

SAM: Oh!

MATT: (laughs)

AABRIA: (howls)

SAM: I didn't think my body could tense up like that.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Aww!

SAM: Oh boy.

CHRISTIAN: Okay.

SAM: My joints are a little tight. Maybe you need to, you know, screw me a little.

CHRISTIAN: Okay.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: I fucking can't.

SAM: There you go.

CHRISTIAN: Is that good?

SAM: Yep. Oh yep.

CHRISTIAN: Harder? Harder?

SAM: Tight, tight.

CHRISTIAN: Tight, okay.

AABRIA and LAURA: Oh my god!

ASHLEY: What is happening? I wonder how this is working.

SAM: You just screwed me.

LAURA: What are they doing?

AABRIA: I'm Minor Illusion-ing what I think is happening, and it's incredibly graphic.

LAURA: It's really graphic.

AABRIA: It's very graphic.

LAURA: Which one, I don't--

CHRISTIAN: Do you mind if I--

ASHLEY: Impressive.

CHRISTIAN: Can I sketch you?

SAM: That would be wonderful.

LAURA: Like one of your French girls?

(laughter)

CHRISTIAN: I didn't say it.

MATT: (laughs) Oh no!

SAM: I'll just sort of lie down.

(laughter)

MATT: Oh my god! (laughs)

LAURA: I can't.

AABRIA: Yes!

SAM: With my wheel just sort of seductively spinning.

CHRISTIAN: I'm just going to adjust a little bit.

AABRIA: Sparkles, sparkles.

ASHLEY: Your one leg crossed.

SAM: The fake wooden foot kind of--

(laughter)

AABRIA: Hellish. Hellish.

CHRISTIAN: And the curtain fades to black.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: One metal hand hits the condensation on the window.

AABRIA: Yeah!

(laughter)

MATT: (metal squeaking on glass)

AABRIA: What is the moisture?

(laughter)

AABRIA: What is the moisture?

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

LAURA: Wow.

SAM: ♪ Take my breath away ♪

AABRIA: No!

(laughter)

LAURA: Meat tongue.

SAM: Oh yes, the meat tongue.

(laughter)

MATT: Y'all made Exandria a weird place.

AABRIA: Yay!

TRAVIS: (laughs)

AABRIA: This is your world.

CHRISTIAN: This is your playground, Matt Mercer.

MATT: Indeed, indeed. Collaboration, storytelling.

ASHLEY: Collaboration!

MATT: Any other business before the night is done?

TRAVIS: Nothing for Chetney, I guess.

MATT: All right.

AABRIA: That's on you, bo.

MATT: Okay, then the night concludes, a full evening's rest is had by all. Eventually, the morning greets you and I imagine depending on how hungover you want to be.

AABRIA: Lesser Restoration, just pa-kow, let's go!

MATT: A repeat of the morning's breakfast with some changes and shifts?

AABRIA: Nah, we're doubling down. I think this has got to be a carbo load situation. So we're adding-- There's a biscuit moment happening.

CHRISTIAN: Oh!

MATT: Okay. Heavy starches like potatoes?

AABRIA: Biscuits and gravy, yeah.

MATT: Okay, okay, okay. What's the gravy base?

AABRIA: Yeah, oh, I found some good goat milk so it's a very heavy fat-forward.

MATT: All righty, hell yeah.

ASHLEY: Yes!

MATT: All right, for those of you who can enjoy that meal, it's delicious.

ASHLEY: I provided the goat milk.

(laughing)

LAURA: Oh my god.

AABRIA: Yeah! It's got a little champers in it.

ASHLEY: No, I mean--! He's leav--

TRAVIS: He's gone!

ASHLEY: No, you know, goats make milk!

TRAVIS: Matt's out.

AABRIA: I'll go, I'll go, I don't care.

MATT: Too much.

SAM: Beast Shape into a goat and milk yourself.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know.

AABRIA: So what you're saying is if you were a goat, would you milk yourself?

ASHLEY: Yeah!

AABRIA: Yeah.

SAM: Matthew.

MATT: Yes?

(laughter)

SAM: I'd like to Identify those gloves.

MATT: Oh, okay.

SAM: From yesterday.

MATT: Yes, indeed, yes, indeed.

SAM: Or the day before. I can't even remember.

LAURA: Yesterday.

MATT: Those are Weavepiercer Gloves.

LAURA: Ooh.

AABRIA: Fun! I got it, I got it! Oh! Shit, that was very cool!

MATT: "The Prestige."

(laughter)

SAM: Why, did you have something else?

ASHLEY: No, I forgot about the ring.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah.

ASHLEY: I don't know if it's anything with some--

SAM: I mean, it might be. I mean, we can just look at it and see if it radiates with arcane energy.

AABRIA: Yeah, I can Detect Magic on that.

SAM: Yeah, go for it.

AABRIA: Sweet.

SAM: Oh, these are spell- casting focus gloves.

MATT: That ring is not magical, but it is worth a pretty penny.

AABRIA: Nice, I switch from Detect Magic to a jeweler's loupe. Like, "Okay." (laughs)

MATT: You get the sense, depending on who's buying, and who you're selling to, a fence or someone won't give you a top dollar, but you could probably sell that for somewhere between 300 to 500 gold.

TRAVIS: Oh!

AABRIA: Three to five. If you find a bad fence, though-- Don't sell this on the Liber Disc. They're not going to give you good dollar for that.

ASHLEY: Thank you so much.

(laughter)

SAM: Or Fearne, but I think more you.

ASHLEY: I feel like fingerless gloves are so you, but let me just--

MATT: For either of you, really.

SAM: They're for targeting-type spells.

MATT: Correct, yeah, it doesn't affect DC, but it affects the attack roll to hit things.

LAURA: But don't you do things that-- Do you use things that use attack rolls or do you use things that use?

ASHLEY: A little of both.

LAURA: A little of both, same.

SAM: Is it attunement?

AABRIA: What if one of you each wears a glove?

(laughter)

MATT: You each get a plus one.

(laughter)

AABRIA: We can go halfsies on some gloves.

LAURA: I would lose my ring of protection.

SAM: Eugh.

LAURA: So I would lose my AC bonus.

ASHLEY: I know, I feel like I would lose my--

SAM: Also, Matthew.

MATT: Yes?

SAM: After they figure out this shiz. On the way to the Matron's temple. If I can pick up some ivory strips, incense, some diamond dust, any of that stuff around.

MATT: Incense, everything else you can find. How much diamond dust are you looking for?

SAM: 100 gold's worth.

MATT: 100 gold's worth, you can do that. You can muster that before you leave.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: Not a problem.

SAM: All right.

MATT: Indeed, you eventually find the Matron's temple, while you don't know the name of it necessarily, you passed it a couple of times. It's hard to see this looming, massive closet of a temple that is dark stone set in the back that while other buildings, there's nothing built within probably a 30-foot, 40-foot radius of it. It looms against the back wall.

AABRIA: I thought it was a Hot Topic.

(laughter)

MATT: You're not wrong. The goth club nights on Saturdays are pretty great. But as you look, they're these two solid doors that's at the front that eventually come to a fair point at the top before closing off. Almost like upside-down coffins. Not quite that goth, but that kind of a vibe. And they're closed.

TRAVIS: Oh, anyone standing up around outside?

MATT: Mm-mm.

TRAVIS: Oh, okay. FRIDA, will you join me? Knock on the door.

MATT: (heavy thudding)

TRAVIS: Can I smell, listen, hear, all of that?

MATT: Yeah, make a perception check.

CHRISTIAN: I can help.

MATT: Okay, so do it with advantage. Which you do already had as a wolf.

TRAVIS: 16.

MATT: 16. Eventually, you do hear some feet shuffles from beyond the door, ever so faintly that stop and stay there.

TRAVIS: Just a quick question, we're not looking to pray or anything.

MATT: (heavy thud) (creaking) It opens ever so slightly. It cracks open about six inches, and a human woman in a black veil with a headband around it with a central round, red gem pokes her head through. Doesn't quite make eye contact with you, just looks past you as she goes to the door. "Yes?"

TRAVIS: I suddenly feel incredibly out of my depth.

AABRIA: You're doing great.

TRAVIS: We have noticed since the Apogee Solstice, a disturbance amongst the Prime Deities. Can you feel the Matron?

MATT: "The Matron remains, though her thoughts are distant. We trust in her plan."

TRAVIS: Could I try to peek in through the door to see what kind of crazy shit is in a temple for the Goddess of Death?

MATT: The door closes.

TRAVIS: (shouts)

MATT: You glance inside and you can see there are these dual archways that come to a central point where there are chandeliers hanging from it, and it gives the inside of a cavernous ribcage vibe. But they're these dual arches that come to an end point where they hang and then they continue on back like vertebrae and you get just into a glance towards that before the doors close.

AABRIA: That does sound pretty cool.

CHRISTIAN: Do you need to go in there?

TRAVIS: No, no, seems like the same sort of answer.

CHRISTIAN: Okay.

TRAVIS: All right, let's pick out some goats.

AABRIA: Yeah!

MATT: (laughs) Gathering all the materials and supplies you need for the journey ahead. The weekish journey ahead, should weather and everything else be kind. You bring the last of your necessary seals from the king and queen of the Diarchy to the top side where the Gruffside Livery is and are granted to you six massive Flotket Alp goats. You may pick of them and I'll let you decide what they look like and what you wish to name them if you choose to.

AABRIA: I want the fuzziest one because I'm going to shave it when we have to get rid of it.

TRAVIS: (laughs) What?

LAURA: Oh my gosh.

TRAVIS: Oh, for material?

AABRIA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Hell yeah, okay.

MATT: "You're going to want Jerry," and points to the back. Jerry is this completely-- You can't even see the eyes, it's like that alpaca that's been left too long and you just see the snout and then this massive explosion of fuzz, and these little horns that barely poke out the sides. Right as you look at it, it goes (bleats).

AABRIA: Let's go, Jerry girl, you're mine.

MATT: (bleats) It is the softest climb. (laughs) They go ahead and get, all of them are given means of reins and a saddle and everything, as well as side packs for any of the gear you need. These are designed for trekking across the mountains, so they are massive, but they're also well-fitted for long journeys. So we got the super fluffy one. What are you guys going for?

TRAVIS: I'm going for the biggest overachieving son of bitch ever. Biggest-ass goat, littlest-ass rider. Give me the musky one.

MATT: (laughs)

AABRIA: He's over compensating.

MATT: You going to call him Musky?

TRAVIS: 100%, well Musk, yes. You know, I'm all about that musk.

(laughter)

MATT: "All right, we'll go ahead and get Musky for you. Go ahead and bring Musky!" This is a very young goat, but it's one of those-- You know how some dogs or some animals, they have that gene where their body creates too much muscle and they look like massively ripped for no reason? This goat seems to fall in that category. It's like-- (impacts) (bleats)

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Fuck yes!

MATT: Massive bulging, square-pupilled eyes, the horns are way too big and they curl inward, and it has the bulldog walk which you think would be bad for a goat trying to go onto the mountain sides, but we'll see how well it does. But you see them, they've had to extend the saddle leather like twice to get it around its torso.

AABRIA: Look at this thick bitch.

TRAVIS: Holy shit.

MATT: Make an animal handling check as it comes up to you.

TRAVIS: Perfect.

MATT: (bleats)

TRAVIS: Eight.

LAURA: Oh no.

CHRISTIAN: Oh man.

SAM: Oh no.

MATT: (spits)

TRAVIS: (yells)

MATT: Just spits right in your face.

AABRIA: Perfect.

TRAVIS: I'll wear it with pride.

MATT: It seems to acknowledge it with a head nod. You found Musky.

(laughter)

SAM: If there's a pretty goat, just a pretty thing with little braided locks or something.

AABRIA: Aww!

MATT: Yeah, there's a beautiful white and brown spotted goat. Its horns have been capped. They're smaller. It has like a luxurious mane of hair that seems to blow with the wind. When the wind goes, half of it shifts to the side where the wind's blowing it. When it's still, it billows out to the bottom, like a bell-bottom goat, if you will.

ASHLEY: (laughs) Oh my god.

AABRIA: My god!

MATT: (tiniest bleat)

(laughter)

SAM: Fabio.

AABRIA: Yes!

MATT: Fabio it is.

AABRIA: Yes!

MATT: (laughs)

AABRIA: That is the greatest thing you've ever done.

(laughter)

AABRIA: You'll never be more glorious than in that moment.

TRAVIS: The V-structure.

MATT: (laughs) I don't know what I'm doing up here.

(laughs)

AABRIA: Perfection. Art is what you're doing.

ASHLEY: What are you naming it?

SAM: Fabio.

ASHLEY: Oh, Fabio.

LAURA: I want a dove-gray one with really, really soft dove-gray fur.

MATT: Indeed, indeed. One approaches. This one is a little older, it looks like it's more experienced. It's a little like it's seen the Alps for a bit and probably would be likely to lead the pack because of its experience traveling through this journey. But still strong and sturdy and willing to go through. You can see it has that soft, deep-gray feathery fur to it. It's lost one horn on one side partially, so it's broken, but it's been capped and has a ring that hangs from it. It has a small chime that's affixed to it, so when the wind blows it like (bell tings). It seems to twitch a little bit when it hears it.

ASHLEY: Like, "Where's that coming from?"

LAURA: Aww! I'm going to hold on to its horn. His name is Belle.

ASHLEY: Aww!

MATT: (bleats) Kind of nuzzles you for a minute.

CHRISTIAN: I'll find the scrawniest, roughest-looking goat.

MATT: All right.

CHRISTIAN: Looks like it's seen its fair share of winters.

MATT: You find one that looks like it's seen its fair share of winters, and some of them maybe a bit sallow. This is the "Mystery Inc" Shaggy of all the goats, where its hooves are thick, its shoulders are thick, its legs are scrawny, and as it walks, there's a little bit of shake to it. It has a long snout and its eyes are a little bit further apart than the other goats and looks a little odd and goes-- (squeaky bleat)

CHRISTIAN: I'm going to call you Patchwork.

SAM: Patchwork.

TRAVIS: Patchwork.

MATT: Fair enough, they get it saddled up and ready to go.

ASHLEY: All right, I would like the-- I want a round boy. I want one that's basically a circle and then you see two little feets pop out.

MATT: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Just a circle.

MATT: Now all these goats are-- Many of them trek up and down these mountains and they're very athletic and are kept in such order. There's one that doesn't go out very often and for a reason doesn't really have much of anyone to pick it up or hire it, so it stays back and continues to enjoy its sedentary life here in the livery. You see it has big curled horns. One of its teeth has grown through its lip a little bit. It has this one tooth sticking out in the side. Just a big round, soft boy with a red panda color fur to it.

ASHLEY: Big floofs.

TRAVIS: Let's go.

MATT: Big mane around its neck that you wouldn't think it's the mane, it looks like it's just the continuation of its round body, but it makes it look more spherical.

ASHLEY: We're going to name him Donnie Boy.

MATT: Donnie Boy.

AABRIA: Donnie Boy!

MATT: And like--

CHRISTIAN: ♪ Oh, Donnie Boy ♪

MATT: Kind of waddles up to you, he's on his side and goes,

ASHLEY: Hello, you biggest--

MATT: (deep bleats)

ASHLEY: Oh!

AABRIA: Ooh!

ASHLEY: We're going to get a little workout in. You're perfect the way that you are, but you're going to get a little bit of an adventure.

TRAVIS: Oh, he's just ripping ass?

MATT: Yep.

TRAVIS: Yes!

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Haul her in the back.

ASHLEY: Woof! Stinky! All right. Goochie goochies.

MATT: This other one also has to be fitted with a unique saddle. They all realize, "We never done put a saddle on that one. We should make some quick adjustments." They cut out some other, they have to cobble two other saddles together to make one that fits around Donnie Boy. But sure enough, you all gather your things, your supplies, load up your unique spectrum of Flotket goats. Then here in a blue, barely cloud dappled clear sky this cold morning, the wind picks up a bit as you all cluster together and begin to head outward towards the Savalirwood.

TRAVIS and AABRIA: Donnie Boy!

MATT: Destination, the ruins of Molaesmyr.

TRAVIS: Oof.

AABRIA: Yeah.

MATT: And we'll pick up there next time. (cheering)

(clapping)

TRAVIS: So good!

AABRIA: Amazing!

TRAVIS: And a costume change!

MATT: This is so fun.

ASHLEY: Dang!

MATT: All righty. Well, we'll see how the journey goes next time.

SAM: Yeah!

(cheering)

MATT: In the interim, thank you so much for joining us, everybody. We love you very much, and is it Thursday yet? Good night.