Transcript:The Hellcatch Valley

Transcripts

Pre-show
MATT: (laughing) Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

ALL: (hollering) We play Dungeons & Dragons!

MATT: Excuse my laughter. They usually shout shit at me before we start, and this came in as just a wave of chaos and I was unprepared. Before we get into our episode tonight, we do have some announcements to get through, beginning with our first sponsor tonight, Cash App. Sam...

SAM: Welcome back to the Finger Championship Games brought to you by Cash App. The easiest way to send, spend, and save money. The number one finance app in the app store, helping you invest in stocks with as little as $1 and connect your direct deposit and get paid two days early. I'm Vince McSam, and I'm here with Marisha Ray, AKA The Finger Blaster. Undefeated champion of The Finger Games for a post-match interview. Marisha, how does it feel to be the number one fingerer in the room?

MARISHA: Okay, first, I still urge you to use a different term, that hasn't changed, and second, (intensely) it feels great!

SAM: Yeah!

MARISHA: You know, crushin' my enemy's fingers, see them jam before me, and hear the lamentations of their cuticles.

SAM: Yeah, now tell me about your training regimen!

MARISHA: Well, you know, I start my day with six raw eggs which I then cook with some butter and salt, Matt eats three, I give two to Omar, and then I usually eat one.

SAM: Intense, intense. What next?

MARISHA: Stair climbs, hundreds of them.

SAM: By stair climbs, you mean?

MARISHA: Oh, I just type a lot on my laptop, email, slacks, Overwatch fanfic. Actually, you'll never forget who I'm shipping right now.

SAM: Oh, no, I won't! Finger B, anyone you want to thank for this victory?

MARISHA: Yeah, the big guy up here.

SAM: You mean?

MARISHA: That's right! My pointer finger! I love you, bro!

MATT: So stupid. (laughter)

MARISHA: We did this together, ride or die.

SAM: Well, that concludes the interview.

MARISHA: Wait, wait, you have been promising me my prize for like three episodes of this shit now.

SAM: Sure, sure, sure. You're right. I've stalled long enough. Do you have the app?

MARISHA: I do, I downloaded it in the App store or Google Play store, whichever you have. When I signed up as a new user, I used code "CRITROLE" for $15 and then $10 went to our very own Critical Role Foundation, terms apply.

SAM: Wow, all right. So there and sent with Cash App. Now let me show you how you can accept the money right there, and transfer it back to me, excellent!

MARISHA: What, wait, what the hell, you just sent the money back to yourself?

SAM: Very easily with Cash App. As your manager, I'm entitled to garnish your winnings as payment for cultivating you as a fingerer.

MARISHA: All right, that's it, Vince McSam, you're going down! I'm going to smash your hand.

SAM: No, no, no! Someone please, someone! Will someone defend me against this ruffian? I'll pay you twice what I owe her!

LIAM: (clearing throat) I'll do it. (laughter)

LIAM: I've been itching to go two-to-two and finger-to-finger with a real warrior.

SAM: Who are you?

LIAM: You can call me... Flick Flare!

MATT: Oh no!

MARISHA: Why does he get to pick his own name?

SAM: Stay tuned for that battle, next time Cash App sponsors the show! Matt, back to you!

MATT: Oh, I am in pain. (laughs)

SAM: Flick Flare's a great name!

MARISHA: Why does he get to pick his own name?

SAM: We're working on this as we go.

LIAM: It's more lore building than it is grabbing glory. Just trying to create a greater picture of the Cash App-- I'll stop.

MATT: Look, I'm just excited we all got a glance at your next character, so. (laughter) This episode is also sponsored by our friends at Ghostfire Gaming and their brand new 5e post- apocalyptic setting, Arawra. Arowra. "Arora," there we go! (laughter) My brain just shut down there. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Do we have any ammonia?

ASHLEY: That was amazing. (laughter)

LIAM: Don't judge, he just came from the dentist! (laughter) (laughter)

MATT: Oh no! Wow. (laughter)

TRAVIS: We heard take one, a take two, and then he got the third one.

MATT: My brain... I've been staring at scripts all day, my brain just looked at the word and stopped working. Arora: Age of Desolation. It's like I haven't said it before. What is wrong with me? I am so sorry. (laughter) The setting images a world ravaged by dragons and includes a detailed survival system, innovative character creation and an evolved advantage system. It also includes 15 new subclasses, 15 background options, and a very special gargantuan red dragon mini. You can jump on this great product right now at Arora, or for some people (incoherent babbling) 5e.com. Arora5e.com (laughter) And thanks to Ghostfire Gaming for continuing to support our show.

TRAVIS: (loud seal noises) (laughter) (laughter)

MATT: Why do I do this? Marisha, start talking, please. (laughter)

MARISHA: Okay, next week, after this week, that's the one, Exandria Unlimited: Calamity, our four-part miniseries premieres on Thursday, May 26th at 7:00pm Pacific on Twitch and YouTube. Join as six distinguished heroes from the Age of Arcanum, as they uncover an insidious corruption beneath the city that they've sworn to protect. This is a story where Exandria's greatest heroes could not or would not see the truth before it was too late as the inevitable Calamity nears.

TRAVIS: ♪ (Terminator II theme) ♪

MARISHA: The cast: Game Master Brennan Lee Mulligan will be joined with players: Travis Willingham, Aabria Iyengar, Sam Riegel, Lou Wilson, Marisha Ray, me, and Luis Carazo. ExU: Calamity will continue weekly on Thursdays until Campaign 3 resumes on Thursday, June 30th. Yes, that is the last Thursday of the month, but we will have missed you guys so much by then. Check out all the details at critrole.com.

TRAVIS: Woo-hoo!

MARISHA: Also...

SAM: Oh god, there's more.

TRAVIS: Calamity: Arora!

MARISHA: That's the sequel. (laughter)

MARISHA: Ar-rar-rar. (laughter)

MARISHA: (garbled) 4-Sided Dive. 4-Sided Dive episode three airs Tuesday, June 7th at 7:00pm Pacific on Twitch and YouTube. The first Tuesday of the month. And then--

SAM: There's more?

MARISHA: "Let's Roll."

SAM: Oh, that's me.

MARISHA: That's you, the 4-Sided Dive theme by Sam Riegel and Peter Habib is available now on music platforms, so you can buy it!

SAM: On music platforms.

MARISHA: Yeah, you can buy it or stream it today, whatever you prefer. But it's out there now.

SAM: Thanks.

MARISHA: It's a bop.

TRAVIS: It is.

SAM: Thanks, thanks, you guys.

TRAVIS: ♪ Friends around the table ♪ (laughter)

TRAVIS: It's a little tease.

SAM: Oh, are you on it? Okay. (laughter)

SAM: It's going to be great.

MATT: Fantastic. Well, I think that concludes our (garbled) announcements. Let's go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role. ♪ Critical (It's Thursday) ♪ ♪ It's Thursday night ♪

ASHLEY: ♪ One-by-one, we climb until we reach the top ♪ ♪ Two-by-two, we fall ♪

LAURA: ♪ Will we meet our end or meet our destiny ♪ ♪ Hold your breath and roll ♪

MATT: How do you want to do this?

ALL: ♪ It's Thursday night ♪ ♪ All ye Critters, ♪ come join us ♪ ♪ It's time to ♪ continue our plight ♪ ♪ There is ♪ magic and mystery ♪ ♪ Who knows ♪ what will happen ♪ ♪ He might ♪ ♪ But one thing's for sure ♪ ♪ We never give up ♪ on the fight ♪

TRAVIS: ♪ From the healer ♪

LIAM: ♪ To the renegade ♪

MATT: ♪ We all share the same goal ♪

MATT and TALIESIN: ♪ Adding more allies ♪ ♪ Taking more chances ♪

SAM: ♪ Hold your breath and roll ♪

MARISHA: You can certainly try.

ALL: ♪ It's Thursday night ♪ ♪ All ye Critters, ♪ come join us ♪ ♪ It's time ♪ continue our plight ♪ ♪ It's Thursday night ♪ ♪ There is ♪ magic and mystery ♪ ♪ From darkness, ♪ our friendship will rise ♪ ♪ But one thing's for sure ♪ ♪ We never give up ♪ on the fight ♪ ♪ Oh, get ready (get ready) ♪ ♪ It's Thursday night ♪ (fire whooshing)

Part I
MATT: So last time, we...

MARISHA: Serious time, serious time.

MATT: Last time.

ASHLEY: Life or death.

MATT: Bells Hells had said their goodbyes, for the time being to the city, Jrusar, where they had met and spent a large portion of their adventure before and donning their outfits and their gathered materials and stepping aboard the skyship known as the Silver Sun. You began to leave the Oderan Wilds and head towards the Hellcatch Valley to chase after the whereabouts of the escaped Armand Treshi, who seems to have gone underground in the city of Bassuras. Now after many days traveling across the broken, cracked, dust-filled wasteland that is the Hellcatch Valley. Looking below day and night, you encountered some dangerous creatures that seem to take to the skies that battled you on the deck of this very skyship, in which through some daring escapes and some clutch uses of abilities and spells, prevented Orym from falling to his death immediately. With the possible final night of travel before the next final day of travel to the city of Bassuras, there was a discussion between Imogen and Laudna in which this strange crystal that you had scavenged from the interior of the Shade Mother's lair back in Jrusar, that had been seemingly giving comfort and warmth and having some odd effects on Imogen had been called into question. Laudna, following a strange internal push towards inspecting and learning of the nature of it, grasped the gem upon the promise of nothing bad happening and, upon grasping it, watched as the a arcane energy within was drawn out and into her, the crystal crumbling and cracking, left powerless and dark and Imogen stormed off to take a night's rest, and Imogen stormed off to take a night's rest, wallowing in the sense of betrayal as Laudna screamed at the bow of the ship, nothing but the stars above and the moons to take it. So coming back where we are, is there any other business that night, Imogen or Laudna, or anybody else, would you like to handle before the next day of travel?

MARISHA: Mm-mm.

MATT: All right. The night goes by without issue. The next morning, eventually the sun begins to rise over the dusty valley. You can see there's some spotted gray clouds beginning to encroach from south-southeast region. The general Aeshanadoor direction of Marquet. You can feel the wind picking up as the heat begins to rise. The temperature is beginning to shift of the day. You can see distant high-- Clouds? Dust storms? It's hard to see, but the horizons begin to get a bit muddled, a bit fuzzy. I would like, as you travel for this final day, for somebody to roll a d20 for me, please.

LAURA: It's me?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: First roll. Come on, anything under a five is crazy.

MATT: Roll a d6 for me, Laura.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

LAURA: Three

MATT: Three, okay. Fairly early in the morning, to where the sunrise is still blanketing this dust-covered scape, the plateaus and large mountains that punch up from the broken, ravine-cracked ground, still wearing the pinks and oranges of the rising sun. Who'd be first out onto the deck, keeping watch?

LIAM: I'd be out.

MATT: Make a perception check for me.

LIAM: Natural 20.

SAM: Ooh.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: It's better than my two.

MATT: Glancing out that early morning air, breathing it in deeply. You hold the edge of the skyship and glance down and below, you see a trail. One of the various roads that carve through the valley itself. You see a small caravan, maybe 12 or so carts that are hitched to numerous beasts of burden, just slowly trudging through their path towards the city of Bassuras. But you also see, and you're uncertain if they see it, is something else shifting in the land below. You hear this very faint, like a bass-y (low grinding sound) You glance deep down and look underneath. The shadow, thankfully, is stretched far across the ground, so the skyship doesn't block your perspective. But you see the ground shifting, rippling But you see the ground shifting, rippling like something large is burrowing just beneath the surface of the dust and dirt in the direction of the caravan.

LIAM: Is anyone else on deck? Captain, first mate, any of the crew?

MATT: Right now, Captain Xandis is not there, but Khalil, the first mate, is at the helm.

LIAM: Okay, Orym will bolt for Khalil. Khalil, look down there, I think those people are in trouble. I think they're about die. Get the captain, I'll be back! I bolt for our quarters and I find my way to the witches' door where I think I slept, but I'm out early, and I just start beating on the door and yelling for everybody to get up and specifically yell Imogen's name as loud as I can.

MATT: You all hear the...

LAURA: Open the door with telekinesis. What?

LIAM: Some people on the ground are, I think, about to get eaten or something. Wake up, get everybody up! I just start slapping on doors and yelling "wake up" for everybody on board.

MATT: Rapidly, as all of you begin to hear the banging sounds and the voices rising in the hallways beyond the chambers that you've chosen here and below deck on the Silver Sun. The Captain Xandis comes pushing through from their quarters. "What is? There's something... It's way too early," and they start trudging back to the surface, what are the rest of you doing?

LAURA: Running up. Making sure everybody else is up and...

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: This is too early.

SAM: Get up!

TRAVIS: I'm up.

SAM: Get up! Oh, that's just how tall you are standing.

TRAVIS: You son of a bitch. (laughter)

LIAM: I would drag Xandis to the edge of the ship and then with sword out, point it down. There, what is that? What does that mean?

MATT: They lean over the edge and glance down, pulling a very intricate, thin, but multi, multi-tiered spyglass out of their pocket that draws out and puts it across. "Well, goodness, it looks like we found ourselves a dusttra." Clops it into their pocket, puts it down.

TRAVIS: Dusttra?

LIAM: Dusttra.

MATT: "All right, man the harpoons with the chains! We don't want to kill it. They're not usually dangerous. I don't know why it's going after this thing in particular. They're not carnivorous, but I think I got an idea. I got an idea. Khalil, give me the helm! Help these people!" They charge back and climb up quickly to get behind the wheel of the ship. Khalil begins shouting out. "All right, everyone, get the harpoons ready, get the chained harpoons, okay?" And start directing out to the rest of you. You can see the rest of the crew starting to come out. Gordi's wiping his eyes a bit. Terana looks over and grabs the edge of one of the ballista. Who's doing what?

TALIESIN: I'll grab a ballista.

LAURA: Are we getting closer to it? Are we shifting directions and heading down?

MATT: Right as you're making that thought in your head, the sails shift and the ship begins to go into a subtle dive. You watch as a lot of the barrels and crates and various elements of materials that are stored on the deck begin to just slightly slide, shifting with the seeming directional weight shifting with the seeming directional weight of the front of the ship. Listing, that's the word I was looking for. As it lists slightly, everything begins to move towards the front, but it doesn't quite get to the point where anything will slam and go overboard. The captain ensuring that the the contraptions that keep the sky ship afloat are directionally moving properly. As it glides down, though, you guys watch as the horizon moves up above you and you get a full perspective beyond the edge of the deck no matter where you stand of the landscape below you. You can now see the early morning light, the caravan, there's lanterns hanging, these little pinpoints of light. As the rays of the sun begin to hit the edge, you can see some of the colored cart flags and banners that it uses to very loudly connotate its existence. Also, as a warning against the various Crawler gangs. You also see out of the dust, this large ripple, just tearing, breaking across the surface. For a brief second, you see something emerge from it. It looks like a squid. It has this long head that dives outward and you see these tendrils that come behind it. It's like a massive mutated cephalopod, but it's covered in spines and weird hooked, horned toad-style ridges that go across the sides of its body. At the very point where the head emerges, you see it split into four different jaw openings before it dives back down below. You hear Xandis shout from the back, "They're not usually hunters, something's drawing it! Get ready!" At that point, the thing lists further. You watch as one of the ammunition carts begins to slide towards the edge. Gordi's going to reach over and try and grab for it.

TRAVIS: Come on, Gordi.

SAM: Who's manning the ballista?

TALIESIN: I got one.

MATT: There's one claimed.

TRAVIS: I'll get up on the other one!

SAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: That's two claimed.

SAM: Okay, I'll go to Ashton and cast Enhance Ability on them and give them advantage on dexterity checks.

MATT: You got it. Okay. So as you both go over, Gordi does manage to actually grab the barrel and hold it off to the side. Terana is helping you load the chained harpoon on the left hand side.

TRAVIS: The chain, that's the one we want? Okay.

MATT: You, there's nobody... Actually, no, Khalil is available. So Khalil will come help you, too. Khalil rushes over and helps you get the massive harpoon in it. Opposed to the ones that you've previously shot in the previous battle, these are much thicker and have a hooked barb at the end. They're designed to dig and hold wherever they're shot towards.

TRAVIS: Oh boy.

ASHLEY: Is there also one... There's another one?

LAURA: At the very back.

MATT: There's one off the very back.

ASHLEY: Okay. I'll go hop up to that one.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Will it be able to... Well, yeah.

LAURA: Up and over the ship?

MATT: Do you think it's a good idea, Fearne?

LIAM: Yeah!

ASHLEY: Yes. Absolutely.

MATT: Okay. Okay, so you rush up to the poop deck on the very back of the ship to where there's the final, the third ballista. You load in the harpoon yourself?

ASHLEY: Mm-hmm. (laughter)

MATT: It'll take you a minute. You watch as this beast, which you don't get to see the full mass of it. Only parts of it peek through as it occasionally breaks the surface and then digs back into the broken ground.

LAURA: Does the caravan seem like it has seen it at all?

MATT: It's too far away for you to see any sort of change in its behavior and it's too quick, so you have no idea.

LAURA: Chet, can you use your horn? Can you single out somebody in that caravan and use your horn?

TRAVIS: It would destroy it! It's a gift!

SAM: It'll destroy it?

TRAVIS: No, it'll make it disintegrate in my hand. I'll look at the caravan and I pick one of the beasts of burden, and I-- (laughter)

LAURA: No.

TRAVIS: No, no, no. I'll pick a humanoid entity at the back and try and... (horn blares) (laughs)

MATT: Okay, okay. You put all of your breath into this horn and it's just... (failing to blow horn)

TRAVIS: (raspberry)

MATT: You begin to realize maybe... Maybe you got swindled for some cash. (gasping)

TRAVIS: Son of a bitch.

SAM: (shouts) Did it work?

TRAVIS: Hold on. I got to make a new list.

MARISHA: Yeah! (laughter)

MATT: Meanwhile, the ballista are both set and the ship is now starting to turn up as it's getting dangerously low towards the ground, but it is beginning to catch up to this dusttra beast.

LAURA: Captain Xandis hears in his head, how high up can these--

MATT: Their head.

LAURA: Their head. Sorry.

MATT: Sorry. She/they.

LAURA: How high up can these dusttras go?

MATT: You hear back from Captain Xandis "Not very high, they're mostly terrestrial diggers and they're generally scavengers and vegetarians, which is why this is very strange."

LAURA: Any ranged attacks?

MATT: "I don't know. I never fought one. I don't go this deep into the Valley! Skyships avoid this area for a reason. I told you that!"

LAURA: I cast Fly.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I'm going to take off for the caravan.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Let's go. (laughs)

SAM: How far are away from the caravan?

MATT: At this point, you're roughly 400 feet from it, and gaining quickly, both you and the beast, but you are gaining on it. So you're getting to the point where while the skyship is pulling up, you're starting to lose a proper aiming position towards it. You hear Xandis shout out from the back, "If you're going to take aim, do it now!"

LIAM: What's the play here, Captain? Can we take one of these things? Are they too much?

MATT: "We're not going to take it! We're going to distract it! Pull it away!"

LIAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: On the count of three?

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: (shouts) "Three!"

TRAVIS: (shouts) Oh shit!

TALIESIN: Go ahead. Fire.

TRAVIS: Firing.

MATT: Okay, both of you roll. You have an advantage because of the Enhance Ability.

TRAVIS: But I do not.

MATT: No.

TALIESIN: Dex?

MATT: Yeah, you roll and add a plus six is what it is.

TRAVIS: 13.

TALIESIN: 20.

MATT: 20. Okay. 13. It fires free. The chain that's wound up on the side immediately is going off and you can watch as it's hitting the edge of the railing. It arcs past to the beast. It was just a little bit off and the chain is grinding--

MARISHA: Shit.

MATT: -- and you can see now the railing around it has this heavy, heavy metallic reinforcement specifically for this purpose. But you can see it grinding against it and sparks are shooting. Then eventually the chain just goes limp and you can see it beginning to drag behind.

TRAVIS: Looks like if we had to, we can zipline down-- Fuck!

MATT: Yours does hit. Go ahead and roll 3d8 for me.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: Sorry. Sorry. 6d8.

TALIESIN: 6d8! That changes the territory. Just find some d8s. All right.

LIAM: There's one, there's two.

TALIESIN: Okay, 6d8. Three'll do it. That's 12, 13. 13 plus... 19.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: 32.

MATT: 32.

TALIESIN: 32. I rolled pretty well.

MATT: You got it. It sticks into the dusttra as it was just diving back in and the chain, suddenly rips taut. As it does, you can see the very edge of the railing buckles slightly. You watch the metal bends. You hear this loud (screeches) as it pulls against it and the ship suddenly--

SAM: Oh no.

MATT: -- begins to list to one side and is pulling at a slight angle, at which point you see Captain Xandis go, "Come on!" and begins turning the wheel quickly and pushing it against the weight of the chain. Go again! Again, again! Other side!"

ASHLEY: I'm going to try to shoot from the back.

SAM and TRAVIS: Oh boy.

ASHLEY: So try to get a tail situation or something, whichever is, you know.

MATT: About now, you're set. It's going to be more difficult shot, but I'm here for it. Go ahead and roll d20.

ASHLEY: Let's go.

TRAVIS: Never know.

LAURA: Can you guide yourself?

ASHLEY: I guide myself.

MATT: Okay. (laughs)

ASHLEY: Good call. Okay. I'm adding six?

MATT: Yes, to whatever you roll.

ASHLEY: Okay.

SAM: Plus Guidance. Where--

LAURA: d4.

ASHLEY: d4.

MATT and SAM: (laugh)

ASHLEY: Ooh, ooh, okay. That would be 20 total.

MATT: You needed an 18.

MARISHA: Oh! (cheering)

MATT: So with that, it goes off the front. At this point, the ship is pulled up and it's listed to the side to where you didn't really know where it was anymore. You couldn't see it. You just shot and hoped.

ASHLEY: Here we go! (laughter)

MATT: You all watch it cruise off the top. Then suddenly it pulls tight. You hear now (deep grumble) this deep reverberant growl. As that chain tugs, the boat begins to list from the back. You watches the captain and goes, "Shit!" and reaches down. Underneath the wheel, there's a second set of controls that handle the intensity and strength brumestone upon the ship itself. You watch as they reach down and pull one heavy lever from there and just yank back. As they do, you see the central gem that sits in the middle of the ship begin to glow brightly and you all feel the wood of the ship begin to vibrate. Things begin to just clatter and shift. As it does, the ship locks into place and continues to move forward, but now it is anchoring it at its current angled listed state. The ship begins to slow and slow. It's an air break, if you will. An arcane air break for this.

TRAVIS: Whoa!

MATT: As it slows and slows, you can hear again (low grumble). You also notice now flares beginning to come off of the caravan. They've either noticed the encroaching creature or they heard the alarm notification from your horn.

TRAVIS: Hey!

LAURA: Hey.

LIAM: What's the distance look like between the creature and caravan?

MATT: They're about 250 feet from you.

TRAVIS: We're 400 from the creature, right?

MATT: Yeah. At this point, the ship begins to slow, it begins to slow. You see as the large colored plumes go off in the air, these notification flares. You watch at the back of the caravan, a bunch of warriors and guardians begin to shift to the back to keep watch, and other individuals begin to pick up. All the beasts are being ushered further and faster now to get itself to a safe space. You can see they're not terribly far from a large rocky hillside, like some sort of solid rock hill that moves out of the ground. They're moving over towards that direction. As it does, you glance down over the edge, and indeed, you have these two chain held harpoons that are in beast that itself is scooting through the dirt and it's trying to fight, but it's unable to pull away from the strength of the ship. Occasionally, the ship lurches a bit.

MARISHA: It's still fighting pretty hard, though?

MATT: It's trying to fight, yeah.

LAURA: Am I closer to it at this point?

LIAM: Can we see her?

MATT: From what you can-- Oh, you, you now have driven off. You can get as close to it as you want to because you're flying. The length of the chains here, it's about maybe I'd say this point 150 or so feet, 200 feet from the front of the ship to where the chains go taut. That's the full length of it. So you shot it when it was closer, and then as you pulled back, the chains went taut and are holding it like a kite. So it takes you under a minute, I'd say, to get within a pretty close range of the beast.

LIAM: How high is, if we guesstimate it from where we are, is that thing?

SAM: 200 feet, he just said?

LIAM: Not away. I asked how far away it was with caravan. Now I'm asking how high when it's revealing itself, how high into the air?

MATT: Gotcha. You haven't seen it leap out. You've only seen it breach the surface and go back under. What you've seen, you guesstimate at a first glance, second glance, fifth glance, it's probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 80 to 100 feet long from tip. Just thinking of how you discern squids and the way that they are proportionally placed, but you have not seen the full back of it nor have you seen the underside. What you do see as it's now taut in there, the two chains locked into it, you see one central bright blue, deep cerulean blue eye that occasionally opens up with a secondary glass lid that closes and protects it. It just is writhing in the ground, getting ground slower and slower and slower. That's where you're sitting at the moment. Imogen, what are you doing?

LAURA: I'm going to... Oh god.

TRAVIS: Yeah, do it. Come on. You're all out there flying.

LAURA: I know, but I have a couple thoughts, but concentration!

SAM: Oh no.

LAURA: I'm going to first, first and foremost, I'm going to float down first and foremost, I'm going to float down to where I can look it in its eye.

MATT: Okay. It is a bit dangerous to get too close because you do see parts of it thrashing. This close up, you can see the texture of it. It has crustacean-like plates across a large part of its body, all similar coloration to a lot of the the earth and dirt around here in the Hellcatch Valley. It has an ashen, light gray visual to it. But the closer you get, you can see there are striations through it. Almost like there's colors that shift or ripple through with blood pumps. It seems to have deep set brown veins that occasionally shoot through it visually, but the parts you can see breaching the surface. It's very fascinating, weirdly beautiful as much as it is scary. As certain tendrils lash out of the dirt and whip around, some are grasping and wrapping around the chains, trying to pull itself free or trying to pull something down, but they're caught at a stalemate. The one eye that's appearing... It's odd because it's not a flat. The eye is the pinnacle of a weird bulge. It rises up to an eye that's just pushing out of the top of an apex.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Like a periscope.

LAURA: Oh god, I'm going to look at it in its eye

and I'm going to say: Stop. I'm going to Command it to just stop moving.

MATT: Okay. What was the...

LAURA: Wisdom 15.

MATT: Wisdom 15? The tendrils begin to lax and it just, the thrashing stops.

TRAVIS: Damn.

LAURA: Okay. As it does that, I'm going to lower myself down to the ground and I'm going to try to use Open Mind on it and detect its thoughts.

TRAVIS: What?

MATT: Okay.

SAM: It's just porn. (laughter)

MATT: Oh no, okay.

ASHLEY: Hentai...

SAM: It's hentai porn. (laughter)

MATT: So are you going to do a full push dive into it? Okay.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: So it's challenging because it's odd that it recognizes a command, which means...

LAURA: It has to understand something.

MATT: Yeah, it understands an aspect of language, at the very least, or intent to that regard. There is an intelligence to this creature. You push past that and you sense a lot of pain. You sense a desperation and an anger. You sense a desperation and an anger. As you push further beyond the barrier of its immediately alien mind, you get senses of being lashed, being hurt, you get senses of being lashed, being hurt, being pushed beyond its boundaries. You see images and memories within it, though the visual itself is very fish eye and stretched, of underground caverns, home. A sense of home and belonging and being pushed and forced from it, of having brood, children taken.

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: And a real deep burning sense of vengeance.

LAURA: All I'm going to try to do is convey thoughts to it,

to say: I'm sorry for your loss. Help. See if I can calm it at all.

MATT: It's pretty wound up. I'll say make a persuasion check with disadvantage.

TRAVIS: Does it have memories of getting shot in the ass with harpoons?

MATT: Well, it's added those to the pile now.

TRAVIS: Oh!

LAURA: 15 with disadvantage.

MATT: 15. It doesn't calm. It definitely has reduced its aggressive, It definitely has reduced its aggressive, instinctual, destructive reach out and smashing sense that it's brought to this space, but it's certainly still driven. It's certainly still angry and vengeful.

LAURA: Them? I'm going to point to the caravan.

MATT: It just seems to be lashing out.

LAURA: All right.

MATT: When you ask, "Them?" it doesn't have any certain personal connection with the caravan front. It acknowledges that you refer to it and what you get back from it is it just wants to destroy.

LAURA: Okay. I'm going to cast Fly again.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: And kick up. Oh god, I'm going to kick up into the air and get onto the airship again.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Which I do so before it regains its motion.

MATT: You all watch this Imogen just flies down, just drifts right above its bright blue eye, and it slowly begins to reduce its aggressive stance. Not entirely, but there seems to be an odd pause. A space between them, a connection where there's... knowing her and her abilities, possibly a conversation. Then eventually, she takes off again and it still slowly is wrapping itself around the chains.

SAM: How it go?

MARISHA: Are you all right?

LAURA: I'm fine.

ASHLEY: That was so cool.

SAM: What do we do?

MARISHA: You could've been very hurt.

LAURA: It's been hurt. It's been tortured. I think people probably destroyed its home and its family.

ASHLEY: Oh no.

LAURA: It's angry.

LIAM: Orym's tracking the caravan. Have they gotten anywhere where we can feel they're reasonably safe at this point?

MATT: They're about three, four minutes of travel beyond getting this. It is a large caravan, and even moving at its speed, once you're off the road, the land itself is a little difficult to move on with just simple carts in places. So they have a few minutes before they'll be truly in a safe spot.

SAM: Do we need to do more to calm it?

LAURA: I mean, I don't know what else I can do. I can keep trying to calm its emotions or freeze it as much as possible until at least they get to safety, but I certainly don't want to cause it anymore harm.

SAM: Should we just disconnect?

LAURA: It'll kill them.

SAM: Well, we can wait. I can speak with animals. I don't know if it's an animal, though.

TALIESIN and LAURA: I don't think it is.

LIAM: Captain, you think these chains will hold?

TRAVIS: That's a good question for the captain.

MATT: "You know, I have not really held back a dusttra,

MATT: "You know, I have not really held back a dusttra, so hopefully?" At which point, the ship lurches forward once more. "I don't know. You know... Just get ready by the pins. Just hold on. I'll give you the go, set him free. We can always buy more chains."

TRAVIS: Do people try to capture these dusttras?

MATT: "Not usually. Coming to the surface like this, it's a rare sight indeed."

LAURA: Something's been after him.

MATT: "I guess, welcome to the Valley."

ASHLEY: Captain, is there a world where maybe we could just lift it and just move and then put it back down very calmly?

MATT: "We can certainly try."

ASHLEY: So we can still go on our way and let the caravan do its thing.

SAM: You mean lift it somewhere back the other way?

ASHLEY: Yeah, just like our cargo. A cargo dusttra.

MATT: Xandis gets this intense contemplative of look in the middle of their face, and their eyes go wide with a manic grin.

ASHLEY: That's quite an entrance into Bassuras.

MATT: They glance over rapidly to their first mate. "Khalil, you want to try and pick up a beast?" (laughter)

MATT: Khalil is like, "Uh... Aye aye, Captain."

SAM: Oh no.

TALIESIN: That felt like a no to me.

MATT: "All right, all right!"

TRAVIS: I don't know. I don't know.

MATT: "To the chain stations. Any of you, you seem to be magic oriented, right?"

TRAVIS: Oh yes. Very.

MATT: "Get to the two front gems. If you can go ahead and, I don't know, give it magic or something? I don't know how this works!"

TRAVIS: You heard the captain. Go give him magic!

MARISHA: Go give him ma-- what?

ASHLEY: Incredible.

LIAM: I think they don't know how the ship works. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Wait, what do you mean give it magic?

SAM: Give the things that are lifting us a magical boost.

LAURA: How?

MATT: "I know how to make a ship go. I know how skyships move forward. I know how fix it. I know how to make sure that everything is going okay with it. But I don't really know how to make the magic parts stronger. It's not my strong suit."

LAURA: How do skyships do in lightning storms?

MATT: "I mean, classically and historically, pretty terribly."

LAURA: Okay, well then, I won't try that one.

MARISHA: Right.

ASHLEY: Isn't there a lever or something that you have, that you pulled underneath there?

MATT: "Yes, and I'm going to put it the other way, and give it all she got to try and bring this thing out of the land, because that's what you wanted to do."

SAM: I mean, can these chains even hold this thing? It's 80 feet long--

MATT: (shouts) "I don't know, but I'm willing to try!"

ASHLEY: We do not have to do this. This is just an idea I was throwing out there.

TRAVIS: No, we're doing it now.

SAM: We can try it. Just don't want to break the ship bad, you know?

ASHLEY: Oh well, yes.

MATT: "Oh, I'm curious. Don't worry."

ASHLEY: Oh, you are? Okay.

SAM: Alternatively, we can try to confuse it, distract it, influence its mind to say that the caravan went a different direction or something.

TRAVIS: Boring!

TALIESIN: I feel like the time for common sense is over.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we're picking this bitch up.

TALIESIN: Now's the time for action, apparently.

LAURA: Feather Fall?

MARISHA: I have Feather Fall.

LAURA: Maybe we can try casting Feather Fall on the creature--

MARISHA: That's not a bad idea.

LAURA: A-a-and that'll make it l-l-lighter?

MARISHA: (sighs) (groans)

LAURA: We could try.

TALIESIN: I going to try--

LAURA: I can bring you--

TALIESIN: -- some weird shit.

LAURA: I still got Fly on me. I can bring you over the side, Laudna, and get down close.

TALIESIN: I'm going to try some weird-ass shit.

MARISHA: All right, I got to get within 60 feet of it.

LAURA: Okay, climb on my back.

MARISHA: All right.

LAURA: Don't fall.

MARISHA: I do a Yoda backpack situation.

LAURA: And I'm going to try to fly down to the creature with Laudna on me.

MATT: Okay, so you grab on and fly over. Immediately, as you leave the ship and have that, which at this point the ship is maybe 90 or so feet off the ground. It's held down by the creature, like I said, in a very kite-like scenario. But you still feel that rush under your stomach.

MARISHA: (groans)

MATT: You coast over it. You hear the captain shout outside. "Tell us when!"

TRAVIS: (laughs)

LAURA: Oh right.

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: Side note, since Imogen first flew away, Orym is on the side of the ship waiting, doesn't want to, but is waiting to Errol Flynn down the chain if need be and he's in that exact same position, watching them like a hawk.

SAM: We have two chains attached to it. If we're going to really try this, we should probably attach all three chains, right?

TRAVIS: I already tried once. You want another one?

SAM: Yeah, we should try it.

TALIESIN: That would be nice, actually. Yes, please.

TRAVIS: Fair enough. Help me, baby!

SAM: I will guide you.

TRAVIS: If there is another chain harpoon.

MATT: No, there is one affixed per ballista.

TALIESIN: So you have to reel it in.

MATT: You have to reel it in.

TRAVIS: Oh, for fuck's sake.

TALIESIN: Is that a strength thing?

MATT: It's more of a time-consuming thing. It's going to take...

TRAVIS: (groans)

MATT: Gordi and Terana rush over and start helping you pull the chain in, and this'll take you a couple of minutes to do so. So you're pulling it. You're all pulling it and it is. It is a heavy workout. You're all sweating. At this point too, the ship is (creaking). The creature is now starting to get a little more angry and sense that it's being held in place.

TRAVIS: I need more time!

MARISHA: I'll try and wait for them because Feather Fall only lasts for a minute. It's not... You only get this a little bit.

LAURA: Should I try to command it again and see if it works?

Just say: Calm it down.

SAM: Does it even understand your commands?

LAURA: It understands my commands.

ASHLEY: Would this be considered a huge creature, or bigger? Or neither?

MATT: Oh, this would be much larger than a huge creature.

ASHLEY: I understand.

MATT: This would be considered gargantuan.

LAURA: Hoh!

MARISHA: Gargantuan!

LAURA: Gargantuan creature!

MARISHA: Big chonkers!

LIAM: Yeah. It's Thordak-sized.

LAURA: Wow, I can't believe I was able--

TALIESIN: Just for shits and giggles, I'm going to try and rage and beat the main crystal with my fists. I see if I can pump magic into it literally just by punch, because I clearly can't damage it very well.

MATT: Hey dude, punch a crystal.

TALIESIN: Fuck, I'm punching a crystal.

TRAVIS: No, no, no!

MATT: Sure.

TALIESIN: All right.

LAURA: But what if you break the crystal?

TRAVIS: We're all going down.

TALIESIN: Yeah, we are. I'm punching it with my fists, man. If a fist is all it takes, then we were dead already.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: So what do I get?

MARISHA: I mean...

TALIESIN: I'm going to try again before I--

LAURA: Beau did some pretty dope shit. I'm just going to say.

TALIESIN: I'm going to try again.

MATT: That's two rages used.

TALIESIN: Yeah. And it's the same roll three times in a roll. Fuck it. I'm going to just start throwing space attacks. Basically space attacks into this as gently as I can to just start trying to see if it can absorb some of whatever the fuck's in my head.

MATT: You just hitting the crystal, and the captain goes, "What are you doing?"

TALIESIN: I'm kind of magic. I don't know!

MATT: "Okay!"

TRAVIS and MARISHA: "I'm kind of magic."

LIAM: Space, space, space, space! (laughter)

MATT: And you do. You full on go Ip Man on the crystal. And while you're doing that, you're pulling the chain up.

TALIESIN: Sure. What else am I going to do?

TRAVIS: The three of us are. (groans)

MATT: Yeah. All right.

LAURA: As soon as we get within 60 feet...

MARISHA: I'm going to wait for the chain, just to try and maximize.

LAURA: Sure, I'll try to command the creature to calm down one more time and just freeze.

ASHLEY: I'm just looking over both sides, trying to keep eyes on the girls.

MARISHA: My face is awkwardly right next to Imogen's,

MARISHA: My face is awkwardly right next to Imogen's, and as we wait,

I'm just like: So...

LAURA: No.

MARISHA: Hmm. All right.

SAM: And just in case it can understand me, I will use Speak with Animals and I'll yell down to it. It's okay. We're not going to harm you! I hope you can understand me! Can you?

MATT: (low growling) What seem like guttural vibration comes up from the ground and you hear or at least take in the magical translation of, and you hear or at least take in the magical translation of, "Where are they?"

LAURA: (gasps) You can talk to it!

SAM: I will open my mouth and go (long, rapid tongue roll)

TALIESIN: That was actually pretty good. Damn.

MARISHA: That was pretty great.

TALIESIN: Heck of a vibe.

SAM: Which means-- "They fled behind you."

ASHLEY: Who is they?

SAM: Forget whatever he's looking for.

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: Why don't you ask him what he's looking for?

SAM: It's just really hard to say a word in this fucking language. (laughter)

SAM: It might take a few minutes. Sure, I'll--

LAURA: Find out who attacked him.

SAM: I'll ask. Who do you seek? (bellowing)

MATT: "My spawn. Where are they?"

SAM: She or he is looking for their spawn, their kids.

SAM: She or he is looking for their spawn, their kids.

ASHLEY: Where did they last see them?

SAM: Oh boy.

ASHLEY: That's not... (laughter)

ASHLEY: It's not keys.

MARISHA: I left them in the toy aisle.

TRAVIS: I was always retail for me.

TALIESIN: We don't know where they are.

MATT: He says, punching.

TALIESIN: We are not helpful here.

SAM: I'll shout back--

MATT: Your chain is retrieved.

TRAVIS: I got a harpoon!

SAM: We can see great distances from the air. We can climb up and search for your spawn.

ASHLEY: And you can come with us.

SAM: Well, I don't want to promise that. (laughter)

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

SAM: Oh boy. Terrible. Oh, I have pretty good persuasion, 14.

MATT: 14? You all hear once again the... (bellowing) The words come through. "Find them. I must. Find them. I must."

TRAVIS: Oh, we're getting the harpoon back in. My arms are so slow.

SAM: They really want to find their kid. I don't know if they'll let us just go and search.

MATT: Are you firing?

TRAVIS: Captain, permission to fire!

MATT: "Do it!"

SAM: Oh god! Oh wait, but I'm just making a breakthrough here.

ASHLEY: Just say we need to attach something to you to help.

SAM: No, no, don't do it! (laughter)

SAM: Wait, what did you say?

ASHLEY: Maybe let them know that we're attaching an extra ouchie to--

SAM: Maybe we shouldn't do that--

TRAVIS: Ouchie. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Hold on. This is going to suck balls.

SAM: I feel like if I say we're about to impale you again, it's going to sour the conversation.

LAURA: Just say it's going to sting a little bit.

SAM: But we're going to shoot the creature. Let me just give it one more try to reason with it.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay.

SAM: If we let you go, will you let those innocent people go?

SAM: If we let you go, will you let those innocent people go? I say in their language.

MATT: Make one final persuasion check. The DC is higher from the previous loss. This better be a good roll.

SAM: Natural one. (laughter) (clapping)

LAURA: Beast.

MATT: (guttural bellowing) "No." The tentacles begin to tug at the chain.

LAURA: Pull it. Pull it. Pull it.

MATT: Are you firing? Go ahead and roll. Now I will say, roll with advantage because it is currently held in place by two other harpoons So it is easier to fire on it.

MARISHA: He's got three barrels in him.

TRAVIS: 24.

MATT: 24 hits. All right, roll 6d8.

TRAVIS: Oh god, okay.

SAM: Well, I tried.

LAURA: As soon as we see it attach--

TRAVIS: Oh wow, 34. 22. 47.

LAURA: Whoa, 47?

MATT: Dang. (booms) The other two have like hit it in side elements. This one scores right in the core, triangulating its physical body. It's big enough to the point where it's doing damage, but it's not... None of these are grievous wounds, necessarily.

TRAVIS: 37.

ASHLEY: I did not roll damage.

MATT: Oh, that's right.

ASHLEY: But I don't want to hurt it.

MATT: Well, too bad. You didn't see where it was going.

TALIESIN: You hit it with a harpoon, man. You're not taking that back.

LAURA: Ooh, you rolled high and you're like, "Yes!" (laughter)

ASHLEY: I know.

LIAM: That's rough.

TALIESIN: Everything's going bad.

LIAM: He's always right.

TALIESIN: Always right. Matthew's always right.

ASHLEY: Shit. What number was I on? Five?

LAURA: Don't know. Five, yeah.

ASHLEY: 32.

MATT: 32, got it. So yeah, it's... It's taking hits, but it's a big beast with a tough hide, but you now have it triangulated with these harpoons. The captain goes, "We good?"

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we're in!

MATT: "Bringing it up!" They disengage that one central part of the socket.

TRAVIS: We got our hands on the pins for the... Just in case.

MARISHA: Feather Fall.

TRAVIS: Hold onto the pins!

LAURA: And the captain's going to hear in their head. Raise it now.

TALIESIN: I'm running over and grabbing pins.

MATT: They put forward the one ratchet they had hold back and (swooshes) put in the place. The central gem goes calm for a second and you watch now the creature's tugging and it gets pulled in. They grab another piece and (swooshing) put it down All three of them (rumbling) strongly begin to radiate energy and the ship once again begins to vibrate even heavier. As it does, the wheel begins to turn and the ship begins to pull up at an angle. I'd just have somebody here roll a d20 for me.

LIAM: I think that'd be me.

MATT: Go ahead and add five.

LIAM: Add five.

SAM: Oh boy. Oh boy.

TRAVIS: No pressure.

SAM: What if the ship cracks in half?

LIAM: 14.

MATT: 14. (creaking) It begins to slowly rise and both of you watch as the Feather Fall, which makes this even remotely possible, you watch as it begins to be drawn out of the dust. And now you get the first true view of this massive beast as the dust and sand falls off of its form, scattering to the ground below, burying a large portion of the nearby road. Imagine a lengthened squid, but its central body divides into two dozen long tendrils, each that ends in a long-fingered hand that grabs and wraps around.

TRAVIS: What! (oohing)

MATT: In the center between them, you can see a central-- there's an eye on each side of the top of the head. The one you're looking at, and deep underground as you pull it free, there is one, a third eye underneath, between all the tentacles.

LAURA: Wow, this shit.

TRAVIS: Uh-oh.

MATT: As it pulls out, you can see it grabbing onto the chains and it's starting to pull itself up.

SAM: Oh, it's climbing up?

MATT: It's now climbing up the harpoon chains, but the ship is (zooming) carrying it. It is airlifting it now off the side. Latches on and it's just (groaning). "Are we holding out okay? Going okay? Please tell me we're okay!"

TALIESIN: We should do something about this.

LAURA: We should get high and just drop it.

SAM: Oh god!

LAURA: No, we shouldn't. That will kill it.

LIAM: Can we pull away from the caravan?

MATT: "I'm doing it. I'm doing it! I'm trying!" And the ship's now (growling) off to the right. And just continues to move on in the opposite direction of the caravan, which at this point you can see is now getting far closer, on the cusp of getting itself up onto the rock base.

LAURA: Great.

MATT: (zooming)

LAURA: I'm going to fly and bring us back onto the deck.

MATT: At which point, the other deckhands go forward and they pull the sails forward, the wind hits and even more force pulls it forward and the ship begins to list slightly again. But just keeps itself on that angle before pushing forward further. Further and further and further and continues for about two or three minutes at the fastest speed as it can carrying the weight. Kind of off in a southwestern direction.

TRAVIS: How's it look down there? We lost sight of it a minute ago.

TALIESIN: How close is it getting to the ship?

LAURA: Is it getting closer to the--

MATT: It's probably about 50 or so feet. (yelling)

LAURA: Let go of the harpoons! Let go of the harpoons!

TALIESIN: Drop the harpoons?

TRAVIS: Or should we lower it or we're going to drop this thing?

LAURA: Yeah, we could lower it. Lower down so we can drop it.

SAM: Lower it?

MATT: "All right, going to lower it."

SAM: Won't that kill it?

MATT: And the ship begins go. It begins to dip quickly because now it leans into the weight and it (whooshing).

LAURA: It's definitely going to kill something else, but--

TALIESIN: On a count of three, let's do this. Is there a way to detach these chains?

TRAVIS: Three!

MATT: Yes, there are pins.

TALIESIN: Three, two, one.

TRAVIS: (pinging)

MATT: (thudding) All the chains dislodge and are dragged down the ship, immediately (whooshing) the immediate loss of weight and the amount of force behind it. It goes into a serious dive upward. (rolling) (yelling)

MATT: And most people begin to slide back and tumble towards the back. The materials start dragging down. I will say, both Ashton and Chetney, make a dexterity saving throw because as you land and hit the wall, you look upward and watch as the ammunition barrels--

SAM: Oh no!

MATT: Tip over and all of the large, heavy ballista bolts--

LAURA: Oh god!

MATT: -- start sliding in your direction.

TRAVIS: Natural 20.

MATT: Nice. (cheering)

TALIESIN: Natural one. (laughter)

MATT: Okay. So the ship picks up and eventually it evens out. As you're glancing over the side and looking, you watch the chains detach. The creature falls maybe about 40, 50 feet, before (thudding) into the dust. And then it digs itself back into the dirt and broken ground of the Hellcatch Valley, and you watch as the pattern of its movement is continuing in a southwestern direction away from the encounter.

LAURA: That's great.

MATT: The caravan has now set up camp and is taking its time there upon the stony top of the hill for its own safety.

ASHLEY: I mean, we can't help them now. No?

LAURA: I mean, I feel like we should at least fly down towards the caravan and find out if they're the ones that stole the babies.

TRAVIS: Or just ask for money for saving them.

SAM: What if we-- What if they made a liar out of me? I said that they weren't responsible.

MATT: It's about now you all look over and notice that there is a large bolt that is partway through the abdomen of Ashton and pinning them to the wall on the deck.

SAM: Wait, what?

TALIESIN: I'm sorry. You were all busy. I didn't want to interrupt anything.

SAM: Ashton, are you okay?!

TALIESIN: Clearly not!

ASHLEY: Can I--? Can I?

LIAM: Yeah, I run over.

ASHLEY: Do you want me to take it--

LAURA: That's so bad.

ASHLEY: -- or you want me to leave it?

MATT: You do take 24 points of piercing damage. (exclaiming)

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

MARISHA: If we yank it out of your torso, are you going to bleed out?

TRAVIS: That's what they always say.

SAM: We've got to cauterize the wound.

LIAM: That's what we've got Letters for.

TALIESIN: Okay.

SAM: Yeah, yeah, I can heal.

MARISHA: This is going to hurt so bad.

TALIESIN: We're going to do this on a count of three.

ASHLEY: Here, hold on, hold on, hold on.

SAM: Does anyone have Heat Metal?

ASHLEY: I'm going to give some fabric. Just bite down.

TALIESIN: I can't lay down; there's a point coming out of the other side.

LAURA, LIAM, and ASHLEY: Bite down.

SAM: What are you doing?

TALIESIN: I'm fine.

LIAM: He's not in his right mind.

TALIESIN: I'm just going to yell, let's do it.

ASHLEY: Okay, ready? We pulling it out?

LIAM: Yeah, I'm going to grab the back end of it.

SAM: All right, get ready for Cure Wounds.

ASHLEY: One, two--

TALIESIN: I rage.

ASHLEY: Three!

LIAM: (grunts)

MATT: Okay. You pull it out. Immediately as it's withdrawn, it takes some meat with it. (groaning)

TRAVIS: Yeah! Stony meat.

LIAM: What color's his meat?

MATT: Dark stony meat, there you go.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

LAURA: Dark stony meat.

SAM: I'll cast a Cure Wounds.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Just level one.

MATT: All right.

SAM: Oh, okay, you heal 10 points.

TALIESIN: That is good. Ow! Ow. Well, it's been a great day. I'm going back to sleep. Goodbye. (laughter)

TALIESIN: (groans)

MARISHA: Does the caravan look okay?

TALIESIN: I don't make it to the bed. I just fall over.

MATT: The caravan looks like it's fine. It's settled.

SAM: Are we buzzing the caravan or we're just going to by?

LAURA: We should buzz the caravan and see if they stole the babies.

LIAM: Yeah, we let them free.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Stop this kind of thing from happening again.

SAM: Sure, sure.

ASHLEY: Yeah, that's true.

MATT: You take a moment to gather yourselves. At this point, the morning has come into a proper early day. We'll say for the sake of narrative brevity, in buzzing and possibly going down and visiting the leader of the caravan, they're a bit guarded, but thankful for your interaction. They do not have anything that resembles, nor do they have the space to carry anything that resembles, the size of these creatures.

LAURA: Okay, good.

MATT: And based on the size here, you can't imagine the youngins to be too small.

LIAM: Right.

MATT: And they do not have the capacity to carry anything, let alone keep something alive that could be that dangerous.

MARISHA: I shoulder up to Chetney as we're talking

to them and say: You know, of course we're just doing this out of the kindness of our hearts in order to help try and protect the Valley and bring a little bit more safety to it for weary travelers such as yourself and really rely solely on charity and tips.

TRAVIS: Oh.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

TALIESIN: Oh yes, please.

TRAVIS: I was worried for a second.

LIAM: As your ear falls off. (laughter)

LAURA: No.

TRAVIS: Son of a bitch!

LIAM: Did I call it?

TRAVIS: This is what happens when you get all cheeky. Just take their shit next time.

MARISHA: What? And now we're just-- A natural one.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Tooth falls out.

MATT: They all look at each other. They all look at each other. The leader of the caravan nods, "Thank you very much for your help. We'll put together a tip gathering service," and they go around and do collections.

LAURA: Tip gathering.

MATT: In about 15 minutes of waiting patiently, they come back with a bundle, that includes two apples--

SAM and MARISHA: Oh!

MATT: -- seven copper, and some fleece that probably got wet and is a bit mildewed and musty.

TRAVIS: (laughs) A fleece?

MARISHA: That's good fleece.

MATT: But that's what you got, that's your tip.

MARISHA: That's good fleece, that's good fleece. Thank you.

SAM: Thank you!

MARISHA: Thank you.

SAM: All right.

MARISHA: Would you like an apple? I give an apple to Chetney.

TRAVIS: (sniffs) How's it smell?

MATT: Smells good.

TRAVIS: FCG, you want some copper?

SAM: Yeah, sure.

TRAVIS: You got to throw it to him. (laughter)

MATT: So weird.

LAURA: Does FCG have a tongue? Or just goes like, "Ah!"

TRAVIS: Yeah, do you have a silver flap for a tongue?

SAM: Let's just say yeah. (laughter)

MATT: It's now canon.

SAM: But it's made of flesh.

LAURA: Ew!

MATT: Oh god, no!

TRAVIS: All of a sudden--

MARISHA: It's the only thing.

TRAVIS: Meat tongue.

MATT: Nope.

SAM: That's the only thing that's actually alive.

TRAVIS: I'm a real boy!

MATT: No.

LIAM: They were a cyborg the whole time.

MATT: I hate this.

TRAVIS: He's slowly turning back.

MATT: Flesh Tongue FCG can't hurt me. (laughter)

SAM: All right. Set sail.

LIAM: Are you crying?

SAM: We got to get back on the road.

MATT: All right. So a relatively eventful morning, but thankfully the rest of the day goes by without much of an issue. The gray horizons and cloud cover seems to be building up towards the south region of the valley, just enough to give a coming gray evening, and day or days to come. No signs of storm, but just a little bit of cover.

MARISHA: How many more days?

MATT: This is the final day.

MARISHA: This is the final day.

MATT: You did not roll anything that would've slowed your journey, or with any major issues, it seems, and you successfully deterred the dusttra from the caravan, but eventually the night comes, and as the sun sets and you see the small little breaks in the cloud cover above to see the familiar stars, reminding you of the night, the glow of Catha pushing through the clouds to give a general soft, white hue to the ground below. That's where you see now lights in the distance, just beyond the grooves of deep ravines and the numerous sprawling roads that carve over and through the handful of bridges that stretch across these lengthy distances where the ground itself seems to fall beneath for 100 or so feet. These paths all convene on one plateau that sits in the center of this area. There you can see the lights of the city, Bassuras. From there, the first things that catch your eye as you get closer, as the sun just finishes setting, you see a sprawling expanse of small hovels and stone buildings and tents, and an exterior city, like a sister city around the central city with hundreds and hundreds of small little dots of light, showing life and movement through the night. You see a large, heavy road of some kind that seems to be winding through and around the city, carving into the rock below and through the ravine that surrounds the nearby space. The actual central city itself is surrounded, buttressed by this tall, red rock wall.

TRAVIS: Oh.

MATT: You see where it stands, it places anywhere between 30 to 60, 70 feet tall. It seems to be either built out of or built deeply into the rock that this plateau was made from. At the space beyond it, you see the glittering mass of Bassuras, numerous convoluted city, neighborhoods, and sections that wind and tear through them like a jumbled trash heap with thousands of bits of candlelight and glowing fire lights moving within it. You can see a half dozen or more tall smokestacks that rise far above the city, somewhat crooked in the way they make their way upward, and these small trails of black soot that drift off and gather with the clouds of the night sky. You also notice one central tower itself, the most jagged and improbable of them all. Looks like it's built from some sort of odd metallic scrap, rusted in some places, ruddy and dark, other parts shiny and polished. At the top of it, at its apex, a dull green light that seems to be almost moving, like the oddest lighthouse you've ever seen. It's about then that the light shifts in your direction and your ship is now completely emblazoned in bright green light. Like a spotlight on you.

TALIESIN: Oh fuck, we're back.

MARISHA: Is this normal?

TALIESIN: Yeah, this is normal. It's the Tahdiq Glow. It's kind of a spotlight thingy.

TRAVIS: The what?

LIAM: What glow?

TALIESIN: The Tahdiq Glow.

MATT: The light veers off of it. You know from experience that you're likely to be intercepted at some point to see what you're about.

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: The captain sets their leather strap onto the wheel of the ship to keep it on course. Approaches you all. "Okay, so good news is we're here. Bad news is we're seen, and not really much for landing too long, Because if what I've heard is correct, skyships that stick around here, end up being pulled apart and taken. So I'm just going to set you down. I'm going to leave you to your own devices. When you need me, give me about a day or so, let me know, I'll come pick you up. Let's go." They go back to the wheel, hitch the edge of their long pulley onto it. As they turn the ship, the gems begin to flare for a second, and then descend quickly towards the outer western side of the city's outskirts.

TRAVIS: I go over Imogen's skirt and I pull on it. Could I ride down this time?

LAURA: Ride down? What do you mean?

TRAVIS: Well, you know, Laudna got up and she got the first one. Can I get numero dos?

LAURA: I wasn't planning on flying again just yet, but--

TRAVIS: Why not?

LAURA: You're more than welcome to try to climb on my back as we head on down.

TRAVIS: Are you going to fly?

LAURA: No.

MARISHA: Take the piggyback ride, Chetney.

TRAVIS: No, I don't want to spoil it. I'll wait.

LAURA: Next time I fly, though, you can come with me.

TRAVIS: Ooh! Deal.

LAURA: All right.

ASHLEY: Side note, when could you fly? When did that happen?

LAURA: I don't know. I've never done it before. Seeing Orym fall off the side, it triggered something.

LIAM: Glad it started when it did.

ASHLEY: Maybe just being on an airship, your body just acclimated.

LAURA: Maybe.

ASHLEY: And was like--

LAURA: Wouldn't it be funny

ASHLEY: "It's time to fly."

LAURA: -- if I could do it all along and I just never done it?

ASHLEY: You never trusted?

SAM: Maybe if we gave you a fish to hold, you could then suddenly breathe underwater.

ASHLEY: I like where you're going with this.

LAURA: That's a great idea, yeah.

LIAM: Try all kinds of things. Yeah. Experiments.

TALIESIN: I feel like if we had just given you a little push on the skyway, we could've had this going so much earlier.

LAURA: Oh god.

LIAM: I'm Imogen Temult, and this is "Jackass." (laughter)

ASHLEY: (hums "Jackass" theme)

MATT: As you get closer to the ground, you can now see, emerging from the nearest gates of the large, red-walled portion of the city, a handful of dust trails, beginning to come in your direction.

LIAM: Welcome party.

MATT: Tearing through what you know as The Skids.

TALIESIN: Skids. Yeah.

MATT: The Carmine Skids. The ship begins to get close to the ground before it comes to gently rest on the dirt. As it does, kicking up a cloud around it. "All right, everyone get off now. If you don't mind, looks like we got Crawlers incoming, so best to not give them a reason to keep us here. Eh? (laughs)"

LAURA: All right.

MATT: "Go."

TRAVIS: Thanks so much!

TALIESIN: Yep. Thank you.

ASHLEY: Thank you so-- I go in for a simple hug. Thank you so much for getting us here.

MATT: "I'll take it."

ASHLEY: I'm going to try to take the--

MATT: Go for it. Roll a sleight of hand.

SAM: Ooh, really?

ASHLEY: Natural 20.

TRAVIS, LAURA, and MARISHA: Oh!

MATT: Just in case.

LIAM: Lots of 20s at the table.

MATT: Very much not a natural 20. "Hey, least I could do. Quite literally is the least I could do. I don't really want to do this, but I owe your orc master my life and my job, so--"

ASHLEY: Sure. Thank you so much.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Okay, bye-bye.

MATT: "All right. Stay safe, don't die, don't get murdered."

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: You all step off the ship. Just as fast as the last foot leaves, it takes off and begins to head in a westward direction. It's right about then that you hear this sound. It sounds like dozens of grinding metallic devices, like axes on axes. You're hearing sparks and metal being pushed and ground against other parts of jagged scrap, as well as an odd, different kind of reverberation in the ground. You all turn back over in the direction of the city, and you now see from the plumes of dust, massive machines. The front, themselves, these thick wide wheels covered in scaled spikes that grind into the dirt as they cruise over. The first one you get a glance at, the back of it is built like the rear side of a terrifying beast horse. A pair of back legs that grind and push into the ground with metallic claws. As it grinds around the side, you can see in the back of it, two figures riding it, one holding a set of handles to the back. The one in the front, having a set of handlebars, turning it as it grinds down and you see about four more, all same general build, but variations that seem like they've been cobbled by whatever could be found, and on top of that, built to be unique to whatever the personality of its owners was. As they all come to a stop, the first one, the person who was driving it steps off and lands. A heavy set of goggles on their eyes, a heavy scarf waddled around their neck and thrown off the side. The scarf itself, a jet black color. As they approach, they hold a large handaxe to one side, put the other hand out in front, and you can see on their elbow, there's a black tattoo in the shape of a sun. As the hand's out, the voice goes, "Okay, who the fuck are you, and what are you doing?"

SAM: It's okay. They're like this a lot.

TRAVIS: I go invisible.

LAURA: Ashton?

MARISHA: Ashton, are you good to talk to these people? People don't tend to like you.

TALIESIN: We're just travelers coming in, hoping to visit some old friends, maybe do a little business, a little salvage. Name's Greymoore.

MATT: "Oh, you're from the house?"

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: "Doing pretty well for yourself to come on a fucking skyship, wouldn't you say?"

TALIESIN: Oh, it doesn't belong to me.

MATT: "I haven't seen one of those in at least 15 years."

TALIESIN: It's the first time I've ever been on one.

MATT: "Why are you here, Greymoore?"

TALIESIN: Looking for somebody who pissed me off.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

TALIESIN: All right.

ASHLEY: Guidance.

TRAVIS: Nice!

TALIESIN: Roll the die that's easier to read, so I don't sit there making everybody wait. Oh, no, 21.

LAURA: Eyy.

TALIESIN: Sorry.

MARISHA: Oh no.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: Hand goes down. "I can respect that. And y'all with him?"

TALIESIN: Sadly.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: "All right. Is this the rest of you's first time?"

SAM: No, I've been here before.

TALIESIN: I'm as shocked as anyone, I know.

MATT: "Welcome to Bassuras. You're under the protection of the Gajakhandas. By that, I mean just don't get in too much fucking trouble. All right? If you do, clean it up. You're all a bit bright. I suggest maybe not being as bright."

LAURA: Oh, right. We get out the cloaks and...

TALIESIN: Throw it over.

MATT: "Don't tell anyone you took that thing in here. That's going to be the talk of the city for the next week and a half at least."

TALIESIN: That's a very good call. Thank you.

MATT: "Don't fuck it up."

TALIESIN: I'll do my best. Before you call-- before you take off, I was just curious, it's been a while--

MATT: "What?" They're listening, but they're walking back and like, "What you need?" They're stepping back up onto their crawler.

TALIESIN: Is Deathwish still a thing?

MATT: "(laughs) When is it not?" (engine revving) Skids passed, throwing dust all in your direction. You all surrounded in the cloud of dust, before the other ones begin to purr alive. (rumbling) You can see some have flame jets that, poof-poof-poof! Out of the back of it.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

MATT: They're just showing off at this point. They're just trying to spook you, as they all ride by and then head back to the city.

TALIESIN: Smug asshole.

LAURA: What's Deathwish?

TALIESIN: It will be the silver lining of this trip.

LAURA: Yeah, but what is it?

TALIESIN: The silver lining of this trip.

LAURA: Oh, Ashton!

TALIESIN: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Deathwish?

TALIESIN: Oh. Got to be something fun.

TRAVIS: Don't worry, no one else is tracking us. I'm keeping an eye.

TALIESIN: Where the fuck are you?

TRAVIS: I'm watching our flank!

TALIESIN: I'm going to take a wild swing.

MATT: All right. Roll with disadvantage.

TALIESIN: Natural one.

MATT: Oh, yeah. (laughter) It is a very wild swing, so wild that the hammer flies from your grasp and just.

TALIESIN: Ow! Oh, yep, can't do that.

TRAVIS: I saw that.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm going to go pick that up. Oh! I got to sleep.

MATT: All right. Well--

LIAM: Where do we do that?

SAM: Oh, yeah. Got to go find a place to sleep.

LIAM: Wait, where did we get dropped specifically? Are we outside? Sorry.

MATT: You are outside the city.

LIAM: Outside the giant walls?

MATT: You are on the outskirts of the giant walls. You are on the outskirts of the Carmine Skids. You are essentially outside of the outer ring of the city.

TALIESIN: The Skids is almost outside the outer ring. The Skids is just kind of this place where it's a lot of people who, honestly, either can't or shouldn't be let in the city live.

LAURA: All right. Should we head straight into the city or spend time out here?

TALIESIN: If we can find a place to sleep in the city, that would probably be best.

SAM: Should we go to The Strip?

TALIESIN: Oh wow. Yeah, there's got to be somewhere to sleep on The Strip.

SAM: The Strip. You know, every town's got a strip.

LAURA: Like a mall?

TRAVIS: Do they have all-you-can-eat steak?

ASHLEY: Like the whole strip, or is that a place, The Strip?

SAM: It's the Salmagunda Strip.

TRAVIS: Salmagunda.

TALIESIN: I'm trying to remember which place has--

SAM: But I don't know if that's where--

TALIESIN: The Raha Den doesn't have sleeping quarters.

MATT: Yeah, it does. So, and you'll notice this as you get in, and you probably informed them as you begin to enter the city. Unlike places like Jrusar, which have taverns in the classic sense, as they have a lot of people that travel from around the world. You probably notice from passing through some other areas of the continent as well, they have what are called caravanserai, where like a tavern is one part bar, one part inn, caravanserai are one part inn, one part shopping mall.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: It generally has a large courtyard in the center with a number of carts and shops, and hitching posts and place to hitch up your beasts for the night and have a place to stay there. Bars and places to drink tend to be a little rough and tumble and outside of the sleeping arrangements for the most part. But as you're getting a little bit of an overview of this, and you can expand upon this if you'd like to, to give them an idea of what they're in for, you begin to approach the outside of the Carmine Skids. Immediately, you see now close up, a ragtag jumble of small gathered tents, large crates, like they carried massive war machines that have been built on top of each other and turned into a house, and have been retrofitted to be a living space. You can see bits of stone and clay that been built up and set to be just a simple, cheap place to live. It very much has like an odd, off the grid survivalist sense to it. As you walk through, you can't help but notice people either not giving a shit that you're walking through, or way too interested that you just walked in. There are folks that are out looking at and starting to speak and point towards the skyship as it begins to vanish in the distance, the green light still occasionally coming onto it, and identifying it, like a laser pointer at a distance. It begins to rouse new interest.

TALIESIN: Everybody stops and look at the ship for a minute.

LAURA: Point at it.

ASHLEY: Wow! What is that? (laughter)

ASHLEY: How cool!

MATT: Just out of curiosity, can I get a group deception check, please?

MARISHA: Oh! Cool!

LAURA: Oh wow. That's a-- All right.

MARISHA: Wow! What a weird--

TRAVIS: A 12.

MARISHA: -- game is this turning out to be. Nine.

SAM: Eight.

ASHLEY: 18.

LAURA: 26.

LIAM: 17.

TALIESIN: 12.

MATT: That's an interesting spread. Okay. Okay. Doesn't take too long for you to work through The Skids and to get the sense that you're not standing out like sore thumbs, necessarily, but you're certainly not blending in seamlessly with the people who live here. As you continue further and further towards the heart of the city, seeing the Carmine walls getting taller and taller as you approach, you also occasionally glance over your shoulder and get the sense that maybe you are being followed. You glance over and see something just shift off to the side. You specifically, Orym, being the eagle-eyed member of this team and already feeling a bit defensive. Glancing about, you see somebody jump from a rooftop to another a rooftop nearby, just the shadow shift past.

LIAM: Ooh. Um. We have a... Yank, yank, yank. And I yank on Ashton's pant leg.

SAM: Penis.

LIAM: I don't have to reach that high. We have a tail.

MARISHA: Ooh!

TALIESIN: Where?

LIAM: Right here.

TRAVIS: That's not a gun.

TALIESIN: That's not my tip.

LIAM: Rooftop.

TALIESIN: Carry on.

LIAM: There.

MARISHA: Not a tiefling.

TALIESIN: Chetney-- Fuck all. Chetney?

TRAVIS: Yes? I'm still invisible.

TALIESIN: I think we've got a tail up on the rooftops. Be cool about it. We don't want to make any waves yet, just let's see what this is about maybe--

TRAVIS: No problem. I'll bleed 'em quiet.

TALIESIN: No bleeding, please.

TRAVIS: (scurrying)

TALIESIN: Oh, fuck.

ASHLEY: Is he gone? He's gone.

TRAVIS: No, I drop like 10 steps or so back and off to the side. Specifically, now keep an eye up on the roofs while they keep going.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: See what I can see.

MATT: Pressing forward and quickening the pace a bit, you begin to approach the western gate.

LAURA: As he's going off, I'm going to make a mental connection with him so we can talk.

MATT: Do you have to see the person to make a mental connection?

TRAVIS: Ooh.

LAURA: Why, yes, I do. I can see within 30 feet of me.

TRAVIS: I live in your memories.

MATT: Unfortunately, he's been invisible for quite some time.

LAURA: Forget it, then.

LIAM: It's like I was never born. (laughter)

MATT: The makeshift roadway here, the path that's been carved through foot traffic and the amassing of buildings on each side leads towards the western wall in the Carmine exterior. leads towards the western wall in the Carmine exterior. As you can see, the large torches that burn upward with the black char marks that climb up a good 30, 40 feet above from the smoke and the heat. The gates are partially open, just enough for a person to walk through one at a time. You see two more individuals waiting there, one of which is a massive orc figure with a face mask pulled on. They have a small helmet with a singular blade that juts out in the front. They also have the black scarf around their neck and the same dark sun tattoos on their elbows. To the right of them, you see another figure, human, looks a bit older. Very thin legs, but a built, muscular shelf of a torso, wearing heavy hide armor with spikes jutting from it. They also have the same black scarf and the same elbow tattoos. As you step close to it, the orc leans out and goes, "You the out-of-towners?"

TALIESIN: Mostly out-of-towners, and a couple of locals coming back.

MATT: "Right, Greymoore, right? They said you were coming in."

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: "All right, get in."

MARISHA: I lean over

and whisper to Ashton: Word certainly travels fast here.

TALIESIN: Yes, it does. It travels very, very fast. By the way, and spread this around, don't overpay for anything.

MARISHA: Chetney, don't overpay for anything.

TRAVIS: You're going to blow my cover.

MARISHA: Sorry.

MATT: If you're keeping watch, make a perception check for me.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah. The eyes of Chetney are upon-- fuck. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Seven. No, ten.

MATT: Ten.

LIAM: I have not stopped looking at it.

MATT: You can roll a perception as well.

LIAM: Yes, yes, yes.

MATT: However, I will say with disadvantage.

LIAM: Oh, I got two twos.

MATT: Oh well, yeah, you are--

TALIESIN: Then with advantage.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LIAM: It's too crowded. I can't see over anybody.

TRAVIS: Lean on me, baby.

MATT: So you move through, in single file, through the slight opening of the gate. The gate itself's about 20 feet tall and it's made of a similar stone material. As you move past, you can see now there is a massive, wooden breach piston on the back of each wall that is built into a giant, chained winch. You can see there's an ogre on each side that, as you step through, begin to crank it. As they do, the wood begins to push against the doors and it snaps it closed behind you. You now stand within the walls of the city. As you look around, you can see the odd cityscape before you. There are little strange, warm yellow and red glows that seem to be from deeper into the path. It backlights some of the tops of the nearby buildings. It is a ramshackle, ragged skyline. You can see there are hanging threads and cables. There are banners. There are oil lanterns and glass lanterns that dangle over intersections. It has this odd, nightmare bazaar meets a unique space where everything looks like it was found, cobbled together, and then presented proudly. You continue through what is considered the western dregs, the West Dregs of the city.

TRAVIS: Hey, Ashton.

MATT: Where are you taking them? Oh?

TRAVIS: How do they know your last name so well?

TALIESIN: You know, that's a story for after I've had a nice nap, I think.

ASHLEY: Are you royalty of some sort?

TALIESIN: No, but possibly the opposite.

ASHLEY: I don't know what that means.

TRAVIS: What does that mean?

TALIESIN: Let's take them to the Raha Den, I guess.

TRAVIS: The rod?

TALIESIN: The Raha Den. We're going to be, I don't want to stay somewhere too nice or too bad. You'll like this place; it's a lot.

MATT: At Ashton's lead, you're brought through the Dregs sectors of the city, specifically the West Dregs. As opposed to the Carmine Skids that you passed through, this area has a similar stacked and made from whatever's available neighborhood construction. But nicer materials, more materials, better kept, by comparison to, let's say, Jrusar, it still looks like an incredibly dangerous place. There are hiding spots and tunnels and pipes and all manner of collapsed bits of masonry and buildings that have been scavenged and built upon in the same space over who knows how long. Some buildings look extremely old, like they may have been here for hundreds of years. Others look like they were built in the past 10. They all are pushed together and stacked up. You can see there are walkways that, in fact, there are elements to this that remind you of the interior of the Core Spire, where you previously lived. You can see probably threads of artistic inspiration, or at least familiar survival instincts that led to the neighborhood where the Krook House is embedded within Jrusar.

LAURA: How crowded is it? Are there a ton of people around?

MATT: At this hour, it's not terribly crowded, at least not on the streets. It's not barren either. You'd say you pass by maybe a dozen or so people every minute.

LAURA: Less crowded than Jrusar, though?

MATT: Less crowded than Jrusar at the moment.

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: This kind of reminds me of when we found Zhudanna's place.

LAURA: A bit, yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Looking through, as you begin to grow closer and closer to the central region of the city on the northern side, you keep an eye on some of the people that pass by. You see some other figures that are also wearing outward intense armor, that are both made for function and for intimidation. Some have blades that are woven into the leather and the tips broken off to show that they've probably left themselves embedded in somebody else in some sort of fist fight or a bar brawl. Or it's just for show, it'll look like they went and got involved with something dangerous. You pass by one tall, lanky, red, male tiefling, who his head hangs down between his long shoulders that point out the sides. His arms swing from side-to-side. He just mad dogs you as he passes. As he glances over at you, Imogen, he goes (sharp grunt, growl) and just walks on past.

SAM: You okay?

LAURA: It's nothing compared to you, Laudna, it's nothing.

ASHLEY: That was just weak.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: He clearly has a tiny penis.

LAURA: A tiny peen.

MARISHA: Yeah, tiny.

TRAVIS: I go and I remove one of his Achilles' tendons.

SAM: Jesus. (laughter)

TRAVIS: What now, bitch? (laughter)

MATT: Are you?

TRAVIS: No.

MATT: Okay. (laughter)

TRAVIS: I'll show restraint.

MATT: Continuing inward, you can see now the lantern clusters begin to grow more and more numerous and oddly beautiful. Many of the intersections in the regions of the city where more small carts are set up. Where individuals are out there gathering and talking story and in the process of eating small snacks and just watching, people watching as individuals pass by. You see an older man, in particular, with a long pipe, who's bundled up in layers and layers of multi-colored rags who every time he takes a puff, lights up his face a bit and then he blows out this awful green smoke that gives this musky incense smell that at first is pleasant, but then it quickly grows unpleasant as it fills the space. But up in the middle--

ASHLEY: Old Toby?

MATT: (laughs) A variation of that, perhaps. But you do see dozens and dozens of wires that tangle and tie together hanging above and from that probably about 20 or so different lanterns. Some broken and have been left up there, some that are oil-filled lanterns that are on the very end of their wick, giving a soft firelight to it. You see a few magical baubles that are tied up into the mix that give that give off different colors. It has this oddly alluring, trash heap in the air a vibe, but also is weirdly pretty. Asshole.

LAURA: Wait, is this what I'm supposed to do with this?

TALIESIN: Yes.

LAURA: Oh!

TALIESIN: Boom.

MATT: Okay. How-- What the-- When did you--?! (laughter)

TALIESIN: I don't know.

LIAM: Your time to shine.

TRAVIS: Magic at Christmas.

TALIESIN: (laughs)

MATT: As you get closer to the center of the city, another sound. (low whirring) Similar to what you heard when those massive constructs came through, but deeper and more distant. You pass by an open shop yard, You pass by an open shop yard, where there are all manner of contraptions and metal arches with cables that hang from it. You can see over there there are multiple tinkerers and engineers currently working on one of those machines. But this one is larger. The others can carry two. This may carry four or more individuals. It has two wheels in the front. They have these beast claws that hold onto them. And when I say beast claws, it's very much a welder's interpretation. It's not finely made, it's multiple different types of metal and ore and ingots that have been welded and pushed and bent and hammered to resemble claws, but in a rickety, easy to get tetanus kind of way. (laughter)

MATT: On the back, you can see multiple poles that drift up and there are banners that are tattered and pulled behind, one of which looks like an eye with a claw through it and multiple drops of blood that drips to where it ends in tatters.

SAM: We're stealing one of these at some point, right? It's a thing that we're doing?

TRAVIS: It feels like it.

MATT: Then what catches your eye is the much brighter interior past an inner set of small walls and a broken archway that appears to have fallen from the center. But it still gives you the entrance to what is the Salmagunda Strip. Here you immediately see what is a massive, vibrant marketplace. Those same clusters of lights and lanterns are everywhere. It's like a network that doesn't end. Like when you see those large clusters of seaweed that gathers over the ocean. Elements of those stretched across, blanketing every major intersection between multiple buildings. Sometimes just singular threads of cable keeping them together, but it's a web that continues and spreads and pulls all across. From here, you can see all manner of warmly-lit buildings with raucous laughter and fist fights going on. You can hear hard music playing, discordant, out of tune. You can see groups of individuals wandering out and vomiting out onto the side of the road and going right back in for another round, as well as these large, multi-tiered buildings that themselves are lit even brighter from the inside with arched entryways. You can see there are hitching posts in the outside and there's quite a bit of foot traffic going in and out. Eventually coming upon one that you see that is made of stone and glass and silk that rises three stories up towards the central portion of this. You know this to be the Raha Den. There is a vast courtyard as you step through. The interior of the structure itself is roofed and you can see there are some nice mural-like paintings, but some of it's with age become weathered, the colors have faded. Other areas look like there's just damage, something impacted heavily and some of the stone broke off and fell in. You can see there's some boards holding elements of it up. It looks like it could probably use some repair. People push past you. Some folks just watch as you enter, keenly, trying to take in the details of folks they haven't seen before. Then as you reach towards the center of the structure, it opens up into the courtyard, where there are dozens and dozens of carts and small huts and tents. You can see there are barkers, individuals holding up food and you can smell a mixture of all manner of dishes and meats and herbs and fried vegetables. It is, from what your entrance to the city felt like, an unexpectedly familiar and comfortable smorgasbord of probably whatever you could want at this hour after a tiring day of travel. So, what would you like to do?

TALIESIN: Rooms and food? Rooms and food.

LAURA: That sounds good.

ASHLEY: Rooms and food, yeah.

SAM: Chetney, are you here?

TRAVIS: (whispered) Yes.

TALIESIN: Keep an eye out for pickpockets, too. This is-- it's crowded.

TRAVIS: Has anybody been coming near the group or have they been giving us a reasonable berth?

MATT: Most everyone's giving a reasonable berth, from what you can tell. This isn't the kind of place you gather, at least at this hour, where strangers are immediately approached by the general populace. Both of you make perception checks.

LIAM: Yeah, what about our tag along? I was just about to ask.

TRAVIS: Yeah, what about our tag along?

MARISHA: I like Thin Mints.

TALIESIN: How many rooms, also?

TRAVIS: 19.

LIAM: 15 for me.

LAURA: Tagalongs are really, really good.

TALIESIN: Three rooms, two rooms?

TRAVIS: I'll use my nose, too.

TALIESIN: I'll say three, three rooms.

LAURA: Samoas.

ASHLEY: Samoas.

SAM: How'd you know the password over there?

TRAVIS: Huh?

SAM: How'd you know the password?

TRAVIS: I've been working.

MATT: You approach the main circular desk that sits towards the southern edge of the courtyard and there you see the massive female pachydan. The tall, elephantine female proprietor of the inn and room section of this caravanserai. She turns, big, big toothy smile with these long tusks that are adorned with all manner of brass and gold. You can see dangling chains from them. The rest of the body is dressed in billowing silks of blue and white. They spin around and lean over the edge, looking down at you, Ashton. "Why, hello!"

SAM: (laughs)

MATT: "What can I get for you?"

TALIESIN: I'd like to grab a couple of rooms. A few rooms, three, if you've got them. As close together, if possible.

MATT: "Hmm." They look back behind the desk. "That can be accommodated, yes. That would be for the three rooms, one gold, two silver for the night."

TALIESIN: I can do that. I'm going to pay entirely in silver.

MATT: "All right."

TALIESIN: That's 11 silver.

MATT: "Take the back staircase. It'll lead you to the second floor. From there, you will find the rooms for these key numbers."

TALIESIN: Thank you. Food's going to be open late?

MATT: "They never close."

TALIESIN: Oh, thank you, thank you.

MATT: "(laughs)"

LAURA: Pachydan have fingers?

MATT: Yes. They're thick fingers and when they're balled into a fist they can act as the thicker trunks of the back legs.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: They do have fingers, yeah.

LAURA: Okay.

TALIESIN: Thank you. Let's put our-- I wouldn't even say let's put our stuff down. Let's put as much of our stuff into the-- it's just going to be called memory hole. I don't have a better term for it right now.

MARISHA: A memory hole?

TALIESIN: We better remember what we put in there.

LAURA: Yeah, let's do it in the room, though.

TALIESIN: We'll do it in the room.

SAM: How much stuff do we have?

TALIESIN: Then, yeah, it can get a little rowdy so, you know, be cautious.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: We're going to check out our rooms.

MATT: All right. The rooms are... fine. They're definitely serviceable, you can sleep here, but this is not necessarily the upper scale of living across Marquet.

MARISHA: Are they more like hovels, or are they more like canvas tent type of things or like shacks?

MATT: So yeah, on the second floor, on the outer rim of the-- because there is not really an outer wall that you can tell on the upper shelf of the caravanserai. There is a back wall and then there is-- the rest of it is tightly-pulled fabric.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: It can be closed and it can be locked off. But it's not necessarily a super secure room.

SAM: Yeah, well, we got our stuff safely put away so we're fine, right?

TRAVIS: I'll be on watch, too.

SAM: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Just to be careful, before we go, what do I have? Does anybody have something small?

LAURA: Like what?

TALIESIN: I don't know, like one of those jacks or a--

MARISHA: I've got a ball bearing.

TALIESIN: Something that doesn't roll, necessarily.

SAM: I've got wooden feet.

LAURA: I've got a caltrop.

TRAVIS: Fish hook. Yeah, a caltrop. That'll work, right?

TALIESIN: As long as it's small, like the size of a silver piece.

SAM: A 300-gold diamond.

TALIESIN: That'll do it.

MARISHA: I always-- Oh, I have this piece of moldy felt that I just got.

SAM: Oh yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah, man, I got some--

TALIESIN: Three pieces of wood.

MARISHA: Fleece, fleece.

TALIESIN: Three pieces of wood.

TRAVIS: Three?

TALIESIN: Three. Small, just extra stuff.

ASHLEY: I have a thimble.

TALIESIN: That'll do.

MARISHA: What's wrong with my fleece?

ASHLEY: Oh, thimbles roll, though.

TALIESIN: It's got to be big enough to not slip under a door.

TRAVIS: Does it need to look like anything?

TALIESIN: Nope. In fact, better if it doesn't.

TRAVIS: But I need some direction, you know.

MARISHA: This feels like a riddle.

LAURA: I know, you really got to start filling us in on some stuff.

TALIESIN: I'm going to need your help with this. So I put an object in your room.

LAURA: In my room?

TALIESIN: Yeah, the room that you guys are going to be using.

LAURA: All right.

TALIESIN: I'm going to slowly shut the door and I need you to back that up against the door. If you can do that with your--

TRAVIS: Here, this one's shaped like a circle, this one's shaped like a square, this one's shaped like a triangle.

TALIESIN: None of those are useful.

TRAVIS: I could-- but I needed--

TALIESIN: I'm just kidding, give me two.

TRAVIS: Which ones?

TALIESIN: Whichever two you like best, not the circle. Square and triangle.

TRAVIS: Triangle. Ah! (laughter)

TALIESIN: Worth every penny.

LIAM: Boy, who's hungry?

LAURA: I see. So with each door after it's closed, I'm going to use my Mage Hand to pull it right against the doors.

MATT: You got it.

TALIESIN: Just to see how safe these are.

MATT: To help that and

clarify the spaces you have: when you walk into the room, the hall that leads to it is enclosed, and there is a wall that it's against, and you go through the door into it. Each of these rooms is built on a platform, and it's a solitary platform that goes out and exists not next to the other rooms. There is a 10-foot gap between each one. There is a dip about 10-foot slide that goes underneath it. Like they're built like spokes on the outside of a tower.

LAURA: That's cool!

MATT: From there, the rest of the walls on each side and across the way are tightly pulled canvas that is affixed to poles. It allows airflow in the hotter days, and allows comfort and insulation during the night.

LAURA: So if you were going to break into these rooms, you wouldn't be doing it through the doorway.

TALIESIN: If you didn't want people to know you were in there.

LAURA: Right.

MATT: But the walls, they're not haphazard, either.

TRAVIS: You could (cutting)

MATT: It comes with its own challenges. You could cut your way into it, yeah.

TALIESIN: So this is not-- If you didn't want anyone to know, you'd use the door.

MARISHA: Those nice yurts.

MATT: But yeah--

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Let's go get some food and some drink because I feel like shit.

LAURA: It feels like glamping.

MATT: Kind of.

TALIESIN: A little bit. And happily answer questions.

MATT: All right. So. You, quickly enough, can find yourself a number of areas within the caravanserai here within the Raha Den, where food is available of all different kinds. You can essentially look for

whatever you're looking for: something meat-oriented, something more soup- or curry-oriented. If you're looking for something more vegetable-based, sofrito-based, it's all pretty much available here in some way or another. Usually thicker broths, as well as some... I'd say at this hour, it's a little more limited. Some of the more boutique and specific meals seemed to have closed up cart for the night, but the more all-night circumstances are readily at your disposal, but food is yours and there are spaces to sit or you can go back to your rooms, if you'd like.

TRAVIS: Let's sit and grub, man.

ASHLEY: Yeah, let's sit and grub.

TRAVIS: Let's go people watching.

MARISHA: Maybe I can get a little bit of everything and just a sampler. get a little bit of everything and just a sampler.

SAM: Pu pu platter.

MARISHA: Sure?

TALIESIN: Hate that phrase, but yes, exactly.

LAURA: Have you guys let any of us know that there's somebody tailing us?

LIAM: Yeah, well, I didn't--

SAM: Who has the thing that detects if Armand Treshi is around?

LIAM: Don't we want to wait 'til morning to put--

MARISHA: I think I have that.

SAM: Can we use that once a day?

MARISHA: I've got the Scrying.

LAURA: Yeah, we should pull it out.

MARISHA: Ooh. Yes, let me do it in one of our--

LAURA: Room.

MARISHA: Rooms.

SAM: Sure.

MATT: It's in somebody's inventory. I don't remember.

MARISHA: It's mine.

MATT: It's yours? Okay.

LAURA: Yeah, let's grab all of our food and we'll go do that in the room.

MATT: All right.

SAM: See if he's within a couple miles, right? It has a couple mile range?

LAURA: Something like that.

TRAVIS: I'ma stay outside the rooms and keep an eye.

MATT: Okay. Roll a perception check for me.

LAURA: Perception check.

TRAVIS: Oh!

MATT: Talking to you, Chet.

LIAM: Didn't even perceive--

TRAVIS: 13!

MATT: Got it. Noted. All right. You're pulling out the sphere.

MARISHA: The sphere, yeah.

MATT: It's a small, almost looks like a fiberglass sphere. When light hits it, it has this odd striation and expansion of light that it doesn't act like a normal crystal ball and it's been dull since you've achieved it and you've looked at it a few times during the journey and it just looks like what it does. No real change in perspective. As you pull it out this time, you see within it there is almost like a bright blue firebug glow that sits in it, and it's pushing towards one side of the sphere.

SAM: Which side? Like what direction would it be?

MATT: Turn around. From where you are now, and knowing the iteration of the city, it would be in a southern direction coming just slightly southwest. As you turn around, it shifts within to ensure that you can pinpoint the direction. It just continues to focus in the direction.

LIAM: I don't know our orientation. Is that pointing towards the center of the city or--

MATT: It is. The Salmagunda Strip devours the northern edge of the city. The Salmagunda Strip devours the northern edge of the city. So it's pointing to more of a south-southwestern direction.

TALIESIN: Could be as far as the South Dregs if...

MATT: Could be.

TALIESIN: Okay.

LAURA: How far did Eshteross say that thing tracked?

MARISHA: I think he said like three miles.

MATT: Two, three miles.

LAURA: Okay.

TALIESIN: Comedy.

SAM: So the question is: Do we sleep, rest, and go after this guy in the morning? Or what if we go to sleep and wake up and the dot's gone and we've lost him forever?

LAURA: Well, we could take watch, and take turns and see if it moves.

SAM: Does it just work always? Can we use it a 100 times a day?

MARISHA: If I just--

MATT: It doesn't seem to be changing or diminishing. You didn't activate it. As soon as you pulled it out and looked at it, it had the glow in proximity.

MARISHA: All right.

TRAVIS: As we're talking, how well can I hear them from the hallway area of this?

MATT: I mean, from the hall, not too well because the wall that leads outward is pretty well insulated and the door fits very snugly against that wall. You'd have to listen from another room to--

TRAVIS: Sounds like Charlie Brown adults when they talk. (trombone wah-wahs)

MATT: Yeah. Pretty heavily muffled.

LIAM: A-wah wah.

TALIESIN: I could use some sleep. I am kind of drained.

LAURA: (trombone slide)

TALIESIN: I can't imagine, Imogen, that--

LAURA: What?

TALIESIN: -- you flew a lot today. It's been a day.

LAURA: Yeah. I mean, sleeping would be nice, but--

TALIESIN: It would be nice.

LAURA: I certainly don't want to let Treshi get away either.

LIAM: Well, how about this? We have somebody stay up, you know, in shifts, like we do, and keep an eye on the ball.

TALIESIN: If it goes--

MARISHA: If it goes out--

LAURA: That's kind of what I'm thinking.

TALIESIN: We know what direction.

MARISHA: We know he gone too far.

LAURA: And we will have to get up and move.

LIAM: I have a good sense of which way to start.

MARISHA: Correct.

TALIESIN: How big is the city all the way around?

MATT: The walls themselves? You'd probably be looking at a four... four mile.

TALIESIN: So it's very possible to stay in the city--

MATT: Yeah, four miles across from edge of the wall to wall and then this gets expanded from there.

TALIESIN: Sure. So it'd be very possible to still be in the city even if they could hit the outskirts of the city and we would lose them, but it wouldn't mean they were necessarily out of the city yet.

LAURA: Sure. All right.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Okay.

LAURA: He could be sleeping.

TALIESIN: Yep. Yes we could.

MARISHA: In fact, I'm going to... You said we know which way is north, south, east, west. I'm going to set this sphere in the center on the ground, and draw a little compass around it, pointing in the directions and all the cardinal directions.

SAM: We'll know if it moves a little bit.

MARISHA: Correct.

SAM: That's so smart.

MATT: Good looking out.

MARISHA: But put it in-- Too tired to fight. Set it in the center and see for a second if it seems to be trailing one direction or another.

MATT: Okay. Make a perception check.

MARISHA: That one has been failing me. What the fuck? (laughter)

MARISHA: It's actually not as bad as I thought it was. It's still not great, though. 14.

MATT: 14. You take some time and just focus, looking for any shifting in the blue glow, but you don't notice any sort of shifting. No signs of it drastically going to a different direction in the city or any movement at the moment. It seems pretty stationary.

TALIESIN: Probably sleeping.

LAURA: As well, we should do that then.

LIAM: The farther away he is, the less perceptible any shifting that's going to be.

TALIESIN and MARISHA: That's true.

MARISHA: Do you know of any good inn on the south side if we wanted to relocate tomorrow?

TALIESIN: Define "good."

LAURA: Somewhere he'd stay.

TALIESIN: If I were him, I would not stay somewhere good. I also might add, I think that we're currently in about as good as it gets.

MARISHA: I just-- Do you know of any place?

MATT: There's one place in the South Dregs that you know of.

TALIESIN: Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe, maybe. Shit, yeah, fucking South Dregs.

TRAVIS: (laughs) "Fucking South Dregs."

TALIESIN: I hate you.

MARISHA: Does it have a name, Ashton?

TALIESIN: Yes.

LIAM: That's a Deathwish.

TALIESIN: South Dregs, no, god, are we really doing this?

MATT: You don't have to.

TALIESIN: It's called A Taste of Tal'Dorei.

MARISHA: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Oh jesus.

SAM: Is that a theme restaurant?

MARISHA: Is it a shitty buffet? Please tell me it's a casino buffet.

TALIESIN: It's a shitty theme restaurant.

LAURA: (gasps)

MARISHA: It's a shitty theme restaurant.

TRAVIS: Is there a diver that comes out of it in the middle?

LAURA: Oh my god.

TALIESIN: It's been a while.

ALL: ♪ It's been a while ♪

LAURA: I've always wanted to--

TALIESIN: But I remember being embarrassed for even being myself every time I went in there.

LAURA: Did you work there?

TALIESIN: No! (gasping)

MARISHA: Were you a cliff diver?

SAM: You worked there!

TALIESIN: Cliff diver.

MARISHA: Did you juggle? (laughter)

TALIESIN: Don't juggle.

TRAVIS: Did you lower the flags after people got their order?

TALIESIN: It just-- It's--

MARISHA: Yeah! (laughs) Did you joust?

TALIESIN: You know, there are things I will answer about this place. There are things that I want to keep secret that I will let you know about what they are. This is one thing that I don't think I could describe accurately. It is its own special--

LIAM: Guys--

LAURA: Can't wait to see it. I've always wanted to visit Tal'Dorei.

LIAM: When you ask Ashton a question, the answer comes in 24 to 48 hours.

TALIESIN: Thank you. (laughter)

TALIESIN: I have a lot to read. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Taste of Tal'Dorei.

TALIESIN: I just don't like talking when we're walking around the city.

SAM: Should we sleep tonight?

MARISHA: Let's sleep and then--

LAURA: But somebody should keep guard. We should take watch.

ASHLEY: I will. I'll keep guard.

MATT: Okay. So.

MARISHA: We eat food and shit.

MATT: You finish your meals. You go to your corresponding rooms, and you're taking first watch.

ASHLEY: Mm-hmm.

MATT: All right, roll perception for me.

SAM: As we get ready for bed, I'm going to pull Imogen aside and say: Hey, do you-- This seems like a weird time and place to do it, but if you're interested in that dream thing, you know, just let me know when a good night is to maybe do that and I could try it.

LAURA: Yeah, I'll let you know. Thank you.

SAM: And I'll get Laudna, too.

LAURA: Right, yeah, I'll let you know.

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: Thank you.

SAM: Sure. Anytime.

MATT: Okay. What'd you roll for perception?

ASHLEY: 23.

MATT: 23. Listening out and keeping watch, there's a couple of moments where you pick up sounds. At one moment, it sounds like somebody is climbing the exterior, and you get nervous and you're about to let people know. Then you hear laughter from it as somebody falls and hits the ground. You hear someone like, "I told you you couldn't do it. Stupid, drunk, and sad." And footsteps wander off a bit. Another part of the night, you hear heavy flapping like some sort of desert bird has (whooshes) landed atop where you're resting and then eventually after about an hour, (wings flapping) it takes off. But nothing else worries you. You can still hear, though. Though you are sleeping because you're exhausted, no matter where you are, the odd thing you catch is the music and the liveliness of the caravanserai is ever present. When you're in your tent, it is interesting, because it's slightly muffled from the inside.

LAURA: (muffled bass beat)

MATT: But you notice any sound coming from the inside of it--

TRAVIS and MARISHA: (club music)

MATT: -- is gone. There is a mild enchantment on the rooms, the material that makes them that prevents sound from emitting from the inside. (oohing)

MATT: But you can certainly hear it from within.

LIAM: Got to get one of those.

MATT: No issues on your watch. Who's taking next watch?

SAM: I'll take it.

ASHLEY: Oh, wait, wait, wait.

MATT: Uh-oh.

SAM: Oh shit. (laughter)

ASHLEY: What do I want to do?

LAURA and MARISHA: "What do I want to do?"

ASHLEY: I'm going to go over to FCG.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: She's just a kid who goes, "Um," without having anything to say.

ASHLEY: Um!

MARISHA: Hey, I got a joke. (laughter)

LIAM: (like Fearne) I take his wheel.

ASHLEY: You're in sleep mode?

SAM: Eyes are totally clouded over.

TRAVIS: Green screen.

SAM: Fleshy tongue hanging loose.

MATT: No!

LAURA: No! That's not-- that's not it.

MATT: I can't.

TRAVIS: There is a little cursor blinking. Boop, boop.

ASHLEY: I am going to look around the frame of FCG and try to look for any buttons.

SAM: Buttons? Like pushable buttons or like clothing buttons?

ASHLEY: Just like, no, no, no, like a pushable button, like a switch.

SAM: I don't know.

MATT: Make an investigation check. Investigation or perception, really, your choice.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

LIAM: Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi.

ASHLEY: Well, that's not very good. 14.

MATT: 14. You give a pretty thorough view based on what's visible and how FCG is resting. You don't really see any buttons. You do see some shapes and patterns that look like they are somewhat circular in places.

TRAVIS: Look for the dirt button.

ASHLEY: Okay. I'm going to lean in and give him, just start sniffing him.

MATT: Okay. Now you have a fairly decent sense of smell and there is an iron-like, wet metal smell, if you know what I mean. As well as, I'd say, a scent of old wine and ale that's probably been settling within the internal cavity when you briefly used them as a canteen.

ASHLEY: With the slit in the mouth. Eugh. It's stinky in there. I'm going to take my hand with the claws, and I'm going to drag it across the blades of grass in the front of his chest. Huh. All right, I'm going to go to bed.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Does that wake you up? Is that why you take--

MATT: So you go to take your watch because the first thing you see when you wake up is Fearne's claws scraping across the front of your chest.

SAM: Why'd you do that?

ASHLEY: I was just tracing the blades of grass.

SAM: Oh.

ASHLEY: On your chest.

SAM: Weren't you supposed to be watching?

ASHLEY: I absolutely was. I was. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Just checking it all, making it all, just checking. I check on you guys when you're sleeping, to make sure everybody is--

SAM: Thought you'd come over, just rub me a little.

ASHLEY: Well, let's not make it weird, but just making sure. I think we should clean you out a little bit because you're starting to smell a little rusty on the interior of your body.

SAM: Okay.

ASHLEY: I don't need to do it. Someone else-- We can go to a spa or something.

SAM: Sure. Maybe just flush me out with some water or something.

ASHLEY: Yeah. Yeah. All right, you need anything?

SAM: No, I think-- Well, I need a little wood.

ASHLEY: Oh, like a little piece of wood?

SAM: Yeah!

ASHLEY: Okay, how small?

SAM: I don't know, this big? It's kind of big.

ASHLEY: Okay, I'll see what I can find or take tomorrow.

SAM: Yeah, maybe when we shop tomorrow.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I'll find something for sure. Okay. I'm going to peek out the window real quick. Do we have a window?

MATT: It's not so much a window more than it's a split of curtain that you can pull open, and there is an oval shape in the the furthest most wall of pulled material.

ASHLEY: What's the moon situation?

MATT: Glancing at what you can see from your current perspective, you can look out from the window, actually, and glance up and you can see the dark ruddy coloration of Ruidus in the sky. Catha is maybe an hour away from vanishing beneath the distant mountain line.

ASHLEY: Okay. Good night.

SAM: Good night.

MATT: Okay. For your watch, roll perception.

SAM: Before I do that, I arc my cranium down and just check. Did she smudge or scratch or anything?

MATT: Did you intend to smudge or scratch anything?

ASHLEY: No, I was literally just tracing the blades of grass with my fingers.

MATT: Okay, so no damage, nothing changed.

SAM: Just sort of stare at her and make sure that she falls asleep. (laughter)

ASHLEY: I feel them staring.

SAM: I don't blink. (laughter)

SAM: All right, I'll start my watch.

MATT: Okay. (laughter)

SAM: What is this? Perception?

MATT: Perception.

SAM: 20.

MATT: 20. Okay. Pretty uneventful. I'd say about another two hours into it, you also hear (flapping) Some sort of large bird landing outside.

SAM: Having been in town before, is this a normal occurrence?

MATT: I mean, occasionally, but it still sets your nerves on edge.

SAM: Sure. How close?

MATT: Maybe 20 feet.

SAM: 20 feet like straight up?

MATT: Up and somewhere that you can't really see. You're hearing it through the cur--

SAM: Are there windows?

MATT: There is that-- You can glance through that opening, the material across the way.

SAM: I will pull open the material and look out and see if I see anything.

MATT: You see further up the rising towers that-- barely the shape. You don't have darkvision, do you?

SAM: No, but I-- No, I don't.

MATT: Given the perception you gave, you could see the general outline of something (fluffing) rustling its wings, but just resting on the tower.

SAM: I'll immediately close the curtain and back up slowly and soundlessly into the corner and shrink down and go behind a chair or something and just wait and look up at the ceiling, listening for anything.

MATT: Okay. It stays there until the end of your watch comes. It seems to have either roosted or gone to sleep for the rest of the night.

SAM: Fuck. (laughs) All right. Chetney!

TRAVIS: Huh?

SAM: Chetney!

TRAVIS: Yes, what?

SAM: Sorry, I'm sorry. Are you doing next watch?

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'm in.

SAM: Can you?

TRAVIS: I am now, yeah.

SAM: Can you?

TALIESIN: There's four watches?

LIAM: Isn't this the third?

TALIESIN: I thought that was the third.

LAURA: No, that was the second watch.

TALIESIN: Ah, okay.

SAM: There's something out there.

TRAVIS: There is?

SAM: I need you. I need your cunning.

TRAVIS: Oh.

LAURA: Picks his nose.

SAM: No, that's the other one.

TRAVIS: I got bats in the cave all the time.

SAM: Can you go out there and just look up and see if you can see a big... fucking bird? (laughter)

LIAM: Fucking bird.

TRAVIS: A bird?

SAM: A bird.

TRAVIS: Sure.

SAM: Just see what it looks like.

LAURA: Aren't we supposed to be watching the ball? (laughter)

TRAVIS: Okay. (unsheathing) Like a big bird?

SAM: It's huge.

TRAVIS: All right, well, I'll use the chisels to part the drape area-ge.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Do you have darkvision?

TRAVIS: Oh yeah.

SAM: Okay, thank you, yeah, that's why I got you.

MATT: Make a perception check for me. This will be for your watch as well.

TRAVIS: Can I use my nose as well to get advantage? A little sniff and look?

SAM: Guidance!

MATT: I'll say since this creature's far enough away, and I'd say no for this one, this is more of a visual one.

TRAVIS: Guidance is a d4?

SAM: I'll guide you.

TRAVIS: 19.

MATT: 19. Indeed, you see some sort of large, hawk-like animal that's roosted up against the tower. You can see in some of the design grooves of it, about 15 or so feet up, there is some gathered bits of dried brush, like a small nest has been settled, and it's just nestled in and asleep.

TRAVIS: (clicking)

MATT: Its head cranes over and glances over. As it does, you can see in the nearby lantern light, the eyes glint just a hint as it moves past the moonlight.

TRAVIS: (curtains closing) There's like a hawk outside.

SAM: Is it a beautiful bird, or sort of a mangy bird?

TRAVIS: It looked like a normal hawkish from the--

MATT: It looked like a normal hawk.

TRAVIS: I mean, it looked like your standard fare hawk. It looks like there was a nest, didn't seem to be made of fingers or anything. Just, you know, normal shit.

SAM: So it's got a nest here?

TRAVIS: Seemed like it. Well, there seemed to be something that it was--

SAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

SAM: Not mangy?

TRAVIS: I mean, I'm no judge of hawk, but--

SAM: All right.

TRAVIS: Seemed pretty basic fucking basic-ass.

SAM: If it comes in here, kill it.

TRAVIS: Would it come in?

SAM: I don't know.

TRAVIS: You used to live here. Do they fucking intrude like that? I'll open it up and wear it like a hat. (laughter)

SAM: If it's the one I'm thinking--

TRAVIS: The one you're thinking?

SAM: It doesn't sound like it, though.

TRAVIS: Shh, keep it down, they're all sleeping. I need the story, what happened?

SAM: Well, now I can't sleep. (laughter)

TRAVIS: You start with: "It was a night like this one." Hold on.

SAM: It was a night like this one.

TRAVIS: Oh god!

SAM: Except... It was the night when everything changed. There's a bird, and there's a bird that... that hates me. It wants me dead or worse. Humiliated.

TRAVIS: Why, FCG, why?

SAM: I don't know. I don't know what I did to it. But it hates me and won't let me alone. It's unrelenting.

TRAVIS: (whispered) No!

SAM: It chases me everywhere I go, in the waking hours, in the evening hours. It haunts me.

TRAVIS: Take my hand. I won't let this hawk take you.

SAM: Well, it's not a hawk. That's why--

TRAVIS: I won't let this mangy son of a bitch--

SAM: That's why I don't think this might not be it, so.

TRAVIS: My chisel is yours.

SAM: All right.

TRAVIS: I swear.

SAM: Thank you.

TRAVIS: Are we bonded now?

SAM: Oh! Oh, is that what you were trying to do? (laughter)

TRAVIS: I was showing genuine interest in you!

SAM: I think-- That's very nice of you. You were trying to help me there.

TRAVIS: Did this creature chase you out of this place before?

SAM: No, it chased me around. It's always overhead, waiting for me to expose myself.

TRAVIS: Understood. I may use you as bait, but.

SAM: No, please don't.

TRAVIS: We'll get it. No, it's okay, the less you know, the better.

SAM: Don't tell the others, they'll think that this is foolish.

TRAVIS: What, being scared of a hawk?

SAM: I'm not scared of the hawk. I just don't know what it wants from me! Also, it's not a hawk.

TRAVIS: I can't imagine what it would want. Well, if you recall or recollect any more details.

SAM: It's got a name.

TRAVIS: Oh! You lead with-- What is it?

SAM: Well, I named it.

MARISHA: You named it?

SAM: It's named Shithead. (laughter)

SAM: Because it shits on my head whenever it sees me.

LAURA: Oh my god.

TRAVIS: Okay. You know, I've been around for a minute, and I feel like your experience could be a shared one.

SAM: Don't tell the others.

TRAVIS: No, I won't.

SAM: This is a you and me thing.

TRAVIS: There are a group of people that have made it through this same experience that you have, but this will just be you and me until Shithead--

SAM: Is no more?

TRAVIS: -- comes down, yeah.

SAM: All right, thank you.

TRAVIS: Does he have any markings, a color?

SAM: He's mangy.

TRAVIS: Is he missing an eye?

SAM: He's missing some feathers.

TRAVIS: Okay.

SAM: He has hate in his eyes.

TRAVIS: Has he got both of his feet?

SAM: I think so.

TRAVIS: Okay.

SAM: He's large.

TRAVIS: Does he have a particular squaw, or cry?

SAM: Yes.

TRAVIS: Okay, you'll let me know if you hear it.

SAM: It's horrifying.

TRAVIS: Okay, you call it out. What's our code word if you hear it in the distance? Because I may not be as attuned to it as you are.

SAM: Shithead.

TRAVIS: Shithead, okay. (laughter)

TRAVIS: I got it. I got your back on this.

SAM: And my head?

TRAVIS: And your head.

SAM: All right.

TRAVIS: We'll keep that dome squeaky clean.

SAM: All right, thank you.

TRAVIS: Ooh, shit.

SAM: Head.

TRAVIS: Sleep, sleep, gentle FCG. Sleep!

LIAM: The sun rises.

TRAVIS: I touch the blades of grass on his chest.

SAM: Get off me!

TRAVIS: Sorry, I was just trying to be--

SAM: Did you smudge it? All right, fine.

MATT: The rest of the watch is somewhat uneventful. But, sure. You're now considered a trusted companion. (screaming)

MATT: Through a shared secret and oath of protection, I'll allow it. (laughter)

MATT: But the sun does rise here in the Hellcatch, and you expect it to be warmer, especially when the light begins to hit the sleeping side of an inn, it tends to bake the interior as the temperature rises, but thankfully, the material that it's made from lets just enough air through that it's much more comfortable. Kind of wind chilled. Also, the grayer-dappled skies that you saw the day before have definitely pushed in a bit. So while it is still the Valley, it doesn't feel quite as sun-beaten and bright as it was upon your approach in previous days. But the morning is yours. As you all begin to awaken and find yourself here amongst the city, now loud with movement and voices and work and the distant sounds of mechanical tools and grinding and the occasional sound of one of these crawler engines. What would you like to do?

LAURA: Has the dot moved in the orb?

MATT: It looks like it hasn't moved for the night, actually.

LAURA: All right.

MATT: It's pretty stationary.

LAURA: What do you think; should we get up and head towards it?

LIAM: Yeah, we came here for a job.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Let's do the job.

ASHLEY: I checked it most of the night.

MARISHA: Did he ever move, did it ever change?

TALIESIN: Is it still facing the same direction?

ASHLEY: It just stayed real still.

MATT: It is.

MARISHA: Okay.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: All right, let's head towards it, and if we decide to get some brunch, there is an option.

MARISHA: There's a grilled corn on the cob cart that I'm going to be right-- I'm going to grab it.

TALIESIN: Okay, no, that's fine. That's good, actually, because the food there's not-- Well, you'll find out.

MATT: Easy enough to gather food for the morning. You load up on whatever your sustenance choices may be.

LAURA: I'm going to take my coins and tuck them inside my shirt and everything so that they're not jingle-jangling around.

MATT: You got it.

ASHLEY: ♪ I got spurs that ♪

ASHLEY, TRAVIS, and TALIESIN: ♪ jingle, jangle, jingle ♪

MARISHA: Also, as I wake up.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

MARISHA: I immediately look at Pâté and Sashimi from where I placed them next to me. Did they move? Are they in a, you know, erotic position?

MATT: Actually, no, they seem comfortably still basking in the afterglow.

MARISHA: I look at them

and I wink and I'm like: I was tired last night, too.

TRAVIS: I see Laudna

doing this and I say: Oh, I see you're focused. It seems like it's missing something, doesn't it? I was working last night--

SAM: Oh!

TRAVIS: I have something for you. So I started on your request for a girlfriend for Pâté, but then you picked up that piece of shit. So I figured, I don't know how domesticated they want to be, but I figured if they wanted to explore more of an official thing, this is from that tree in Etan's Square, and I figured they could, you know.

MARISHA: You see her lip quiver.

TRAVIS: I just wanted a more rustic approach, you know? Not as refined.

MARISHA: It's beautiful.

TRAVIS: They'll carve their own story. (laughter)

MARISHA: Oh, Chet. It reminds me of the shacks that Pâté and I stayed in when we traveled across Tal'Dorei, and now they have a shack of their own, (weeping) thank you so much!

TRAVIS: Ah, you're so welcome, oh, you're very tall. This is very awkward.

MARISHA: (teary) They deserve happiness, you know?

TRAVIS: They do. That way they can do things that you seem to want them to do behind closed doors, instead of out in the open like--

MARISHA: They need their privacy. It's important to a healthy relationship.

TRAVIS: Walls, you know? Also, get creative.

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: Thank you.

TRAIVS: You're welcome. Been lugging it around forever. You can just throw it in the hole or whatever. I mean, it's your call.

MARISHA: I go over and shove it in their faces. Look what he made you, look what you have! Stop looking at me! (laughter)

MATT: All right, gathering yourselves and your materials and tools and weapons and goods. What are you off to?

SAM: South, southeast?

LAURA: Yeah, follow the dot.

LIAM: Follow the bouncing ball.

MATT: Okay, you exit from the Raha Den and begin to weave through the Salmagunda Strip. You get first sense that these busy days, the hustle and bustle, there's like-- Small levels of violence aren't that uncommon, even just last night as you came in. Occasionally, you see someone punch somebody else out to just deal with a moment of frustration. Occasionally, you see some major arguments, some heated arguments turn into fisticuffs, but there isn't much of a-- There isn't so much of a rule of law around here, as much as you were told when you arrived you were under the protection of the Gajakhandas, you're not certain how far reaching that might be. But what does catch your ear, as you move maybe a block and a half beyond the Raha Den is a shout to your right. A voice that goes, "Ha, can't get away, can you?" Then you hear another voice go, "Give us your sword, and drop what's on you. If you know what's good for you."

SAM: That sounds like someone in distress.

LIAM: Just an open-- But we can't see this, we hear this from around a corner?

MATT: You hear this off to the right hand side as you're walking and everyone else around isn't giving a shit. They just keep doing their things.

TRAVIS: Let's pretend we don't--

LAURA: Can we see what it is?

MATT: You glance down-- you're passing by some of the ramshackle buildings, and there is a couple of larger protrusions of stone and rock, and there's an alleyway that leads behind where you can see tents and some left scrap and garbage. You see somebody standing there who's in shadow. You can't really make out their details and you see other figures beginning to circle around them, they have weapons out. You see one standing up on the stone area who is just hands out in front, rubbing them and you see other figures, weapons drawn and encircling them.

TALIESIN: That's some shitty bullshit.

MATT: It's at that point you hear a voice call for help.

SAM: It's very--

MATT: Which was a very quiet call for help.

SAM: A very quiet voice.

MATT: But if I could have--

LAURA: Over there

MATT: There it is.

ERIKA: Someone help me! (laughter)

SAM: What a smokey voice.

MATT: Indeed, as the voice shouts, Erika, if you wouldn't mind joining us on the table! (cheering)

ERIKA: Good evening, friends.

ASHLEY: Hi, friend!

ERIKA: Hello!

MARISHA: Sorry, let me move my doll house.

ERIKA: It's beautiful!

MARISHA: Isn't it? They're going to be so happy. (camera shutter clicks) (laughter)

ERIKA: Cool, we'll see how that turns out. (laughter)

SAM: More?

MARISHA: You're good, you're good, did you move? No, you're good.

MATT: As you all glance down and see this scuffle happening.

MARISHA: I'm sorry.

SAM: What's happening?

MATT: Seeing this scuffle happening, the figure that appears to be encircled by this troop of aggressive figures, if you would describe who they see in the middle of them, defending themself?

ERIKA: You see a very slight waifish-looking elf, clearly you can tell by the pointy ears. They have close-cropped black hair, tousled a bit. They have armor the color of the autumn that's clearly in disarray, and they have a rapier by their side that they're clutching guardedly. The rapier has shards, what look to be crystals, and interwoven metal barbs on the hilt. and interwoven metal barbs on the hilt. They have a tattoo climbing up their arm of the ocean waves, but rendered out in polygonal fractals. And they-- she looks very, very afraid. Please, I-I-I don't, this is all I have.

MATT: "Good, and it's all we're going to have. Drop it, you live. Not, we cut you and leave you."

ERIKA: No! I lunge forward a little bit with the rapier, and you can tell that there's a bit of knowledge there. and you can tell that there's a bit of knowledge there. Like clearly there's fencing skills.

MATT: You especially--

ERIKA: But it's rusty.

MATT: You especially pick up on this, Orym. What are the rest of you doing?

LAURA: How close are we?

MATT: You're probably about 70 or so feet. You're just at the edge of the road, and the alleyway leads in from there.

TALIESIN: That's a little rough. I say we're in. I'm running straight into it.

LIAM: The people they're dealing-- Oops, go ahead.

LAURA: Oh, no, no, no.

LIAM: The people that they are dealing with. There are no tattoos on the elbows? This is--

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: Ooh.

ASHLEY: Oh, good call.

LIAM: Not great, 14.

MATT: 14, not that you can see at this distance, but it's also-- they're in the shadow of the alley, anyway. You probably have to get a bit closer.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: However, as you're looking at them, you see Ashton charges in and as you go rushing in, they look over their shoulder and notice the approaching troop that is you, which means whether or not you are ready, the rest of you are being pulled into this, and we'll jump into combat here right after our break. (screaming) So we'll be back here in a few minutes. Welcome, Erika!

ERIKA: (triumphant laugh)

MATT: Welcome, welcome. We'll get to jump into whatever this chaos entails here in just a few minutes. So hang tight, we'll see you in a few.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: All right.

Break
Narrator: The tale of Arora and the Five Realms is ancient. It began long ago when the dragons arrived from another world. But a great evil had followed them. (intense music continues) Together, we stood against it, the dragons at our side. Yet evil does not release its grip so easily. And in our most desperate hour, a powerful being was set forth to turn the tide. Alas, our victory came a great cost. The world of a Arora broke into five realms, each its own plane. They became harsh places to survive, each realm with its own unique challenges. Exploring these hell scapes was pivotal to survival, though rarely an easy task. Then the dragons turned on Arora and our survival became harder still. The dragons changed and became savage. But we learned to adapt and overcome these challenges. The time is nigh, you are our final hope for survival. But first you must survive Arora. (intense music continues) D&D is for everyone, and D&D Beyond makes it super easy to play. And I am about to start a new campaign, so today I am going to create a new character. You know what I love to be? I love to be a gnome. All right, I'm thinking about what class I wanna be for this campaign. And I know that some of the rest of my party are gonna do magic users. So I think it would be fun to play someone very practical and down to earth. I think we're gonna go barbarian. I would like her to go ahead and have some athletics and you know, survival. I like to choose the standard array for the ability scores when I'm determining what I'm good at and what I'm bad at. Let's put our highest score in strength, and then our constitution. And I feel like I have a nicely balanced set of skills now. All right, now for background. There is a sailor background. "You sailed on a seagoing vessel for years." This maybe gave me some intimidation. Add that starting equipment. So I think the right name for my gnome is gonna be Rip Scrumble. And then what does she look like? I think that's gonna be a good fit for us. But that is not the only thing I get to set. Let's give Rip Scrumble the spirit board frame, this beautiful one. And for theme, I mean, let's stick to what we're doing here. Let's go living blood. Rip Scrumble is good to go. Anyone can register and start creating characters right now. You can subscribe to get unlimited characters, you can unlock more options by picking up various books, but the free basic rules will always be there for you. So I hope you will join us. D&D is for everyone and D&D Beyond makes it super easy to play. (whooshing) (flames roar and crackle)

Matt: What mighty hands now turn the Age's wheel, As godly grace gives way to mortal foe Our champions have fallen prey to comfort, As Dire Children chase the Matron's wake. (wings flapping)

Aabria: Cities soaring, framed by ebbing stars, Shake against the echoes of an old hunger And festering wounds from schisms long since past. "Surely they knew," a distant future reckons, "Surely they heard the howl of the Calamity?" (intense music grows) How could they?

Brennan: The wheel must always spin, Its gilded fulcrum rotting from within. (eerie music) (people screaming)

Laura: Hey Critters, Laura Bailey here let's see what's up in the Critical Role shop. Style should never be a dump stat, darling. You need this? You probably need this. Look at this. Isn't it fashion? So much fashion happening. Go ahead, darling. Treat yourself. Could anything be more perfect? And hey, if you want, you can head over to the Critical Role shop right now. (lively music fades) (light music) (whimsical music) (typewriter clacking) (whimsical music continues) (light, classical music) (curtain rings jingling) Hey Critters, it's me, Marisha Ray. I had exactly a minute and a half of free time today, so I thought I'd make a little unboxing video for y'all unpacking everything you get with a Twitch subscription to Critical Role. (bright music) Okay. Safety third. (ethereal voices laughing) What the fuck was that? (Marisha exclaiming in awe) So the first thing we've got here is our live and professionally-moderated chat. Twitch is the only place that you can actually get this. You know, it's a little strange to hold because it's an amorphous concept, but honestly, you can't deny this craftsmanship. It's really well made and, aw, oh, you can post links in this too! That's really cool, so yeah. Put that in your chat and click it. Oh yeah, this is cool. This is the ability to watch all of Critical Role's VODs immediately after the live broadcast ends and before they're uploaded to YouTube. Oh, it smells like ranch. Oh wait. Oh no, that's me. I had ranch on my salad earlier. Yeah, this smells like nothing. Oh, oh, here we have (Marisha grunting) gift subscriptions, which you can either give to a fellow Critter by name or at random using a fancy Twitch algorithm. You can give away a lot of subs with this, which I guess is why it's so heavy for something that's technically non-tangible with a value that's deeply subjective to the consumer. Oh, sick, yeah, I'm so excited to show y'all this part. With a Twitch subscription to Critical Role, you can use all of our incredible custom emotes in chat. We have so many emotes in here. Let's see, we art dad, super cool. We got Ashley hype, fun one. Look at shrink it here. He's so, oh, oh god. (clattering and crashing) Oh god. Broom, broom. Hang on, I can fix this. I can fix this. I'm fixing it! Jerry! Oh god, okay. I'm sorry, Trinket. (machine whirring) Yeah, that'll work. I need more glue, this is not gonna be enough. (tape ripping) Don't tell Rachel, okay? Okay, please nobody. (metal clanking) Schapiro, will you cut all this out? (electronic buzzing)

Part II
MATT: And welcome back. So let's fucking roll some initiative, y'all. (cheering)

SAM: You just got here and we're already in a combat, and the combat is brought to you by D&D Beyond! (laughter)

ASHLEY: Whoa!

SAM: For a limited time, all D&D Beyond users--

TALIESIN: No!

ERIKA: No way!

ASHLEY: Look at these houses!

MARISHA: Whoa, look at those houses! That's what Ashley just said.

ASHLEY: I want to live there!

LAURA: It's so cool.

ERIKA: I've always wanted to be at the table because Matt brings out a battle map like he's bringing out a cake that he's just baked for his friends. (laughter)

ERIKA: He's very proud of it, he's like, "Look what I brought!"

MATT: It's valid.

LAURA: That's what it feels like.

SAM: This map is almost as good a gift as the free Acquisitions Inc. content you can get on D&D Beyond right now at dndbeyond.link/critters. Okay, let's go.

LAURA: "Okay, let's go."

ERIKA: Wow!

LAURA: That's us, over there?

ASHLEY: I love these houses.

ERIKA: Beautiful.

MATT: Indeed.

SAM: Indeed.

MATT: All right, and so, standing up here, actually, in the middle right here, the mini didn't arrive, but we'll have an actual specific mini next time we play, but for the time being, this will be Erika's character. The rest of this being the troop. There is a figure here.

ASHLEY: Oh man.

MATT: A figure here, a figure here, a figure here, and a figure here. Everyone else is just city folk.

LAURA: All right.

MATT: Bassurians.

LIAM: We start with the city folk.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Easy pickings.

TALIESIN: No witnesses! Then we finish it off.

SAM: Is there heart-thumping music playing right now? Because I cannot hear it.

MATT: There is music playing.

SAM: Oh, there it is.

ASHLEY: There it is.

SAM: It just started.

ASHLEY: (trumpeting)

MATT: Just got started. All righty. 25 to 20.

LIAM: 23.

MATT: All right, we got--

MARISHA: 19.

SAM: Wow.

MATT: 20 to 15.

MARISHA: 19. Sorry, I jumped the gun on that one.

MATT: That's okay.

SAM: 16. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Nobody has above 16? Jeez.

LAURA: Orym and Laudna do.

TRAVIS: You sack of balls. (laughter)

MATT: 15 to 10.

TALIESIN: 12.

ASHLEY: 11.

MATT: Wait, what was that?

ASHLEY: 11.

MATT: 11, 12.

TALIESIN: 12.

MATT: What'd you get?

ERIKA: 10.

MATT: 10, all right.

TRAVIS: So it's Ashton, Fearne.

ERIKA: Oh, this is bad.

LAURA: Nameless.

TRAVIS: Nameless.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Nine for me.

MATT: Nine for you.

SAM: Don't we usually have a tower?

ERIKA: You write down your initiative?

SAM: I don't do that. Just sit next to someone who's got it. It's fine.

MARISHA: That's true. Wait, is FCG--?

SAM: I don't know, I don't write this shit down.

LAURA: Orym, Laudna, FCG, Ashton, Fearne, Nameless, Chetney, Imogen.

TRAVIS: Oh, you--

LAURA: I had six.

MATT: You had six, yeah. All righty. So top, we have Orym up, with Laudna on deck. Orym, what you got?

LIAM: I'm going to use all my movement and my action to also move, and I'm going to tear around that corner, run towards the bottom of this rock and sproing.

LAURA: Sproing!

MARISHA: Sproing!

LIAM: I want to use my long jump with boots.

MATT: You got it.

LIAM: Then blade's out, pointed, saying-- I want to call out

to the square: Let's just slow this down for a second. Talk it out? That's it.

MATT: The figures, they look back and watch you all rush in. They're all clutching their weapons and they're figuring out what to do. Laudna, you're up.

MARISHA: All right, after that move from Orym, I will pull the shadows from out of the alleyways and almost start to surround us to make a spotlight on the situations that are happening, and I'm going to cast Unsettling Presence.

MATT: Okay, on who?

MARISHA: Or I'm going to do Unsettling Presence.

MATT: Okay. Oh, got you. Okay.

MARISHA: It's just an action.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: 15 feet situation.

MATT: What is the effect of Unsettling Presence again?

MARISHA: It makes them feel uncomfortable.

SAM: That's it.

MARISHA: A target has disadvantage on the next saving throw.

MATT: It's a specific target?

MARISHA: Correct. Who seemed to be the head?

MATT: Well, the range is pretty close. So you're over here while the harassers are over here. You're back on this side.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: Maybe a little far for that.

MARISHA: I thought...

TALIESIN: Where we going?

LAURA: I know, I'm like-- looking at the camera.

MARISHA: It's not really a spell, it's an ability.

MATT: An ability, yeah.

LAURA: Oh, me?

SAM: You're blowing it!

MARISHA: I'm blowing it!

SAM: You're blowing it, Ray!

MARISHA: Fuck this! They all get Bane cast on them.

MATT: How many?

LAURA: I can't reach.

MARISHA: There's three of them.

MATT: Okay, which ones? What's the range on it?

SAM: There's four of them.

MARISHA: There's four of them? Can I cast Bane at a higher level and get more?

MATT: You can.

TALIESIN: You get one extra for every level higher.

MARISHA: Okay. Yeah, great. I'll do it at a 1st-level. Or sorry, I'll do it at 2nd-level.

MATT: Okay, so it's four targets for Bane.

MARISHA: So they all get Baned.

MATT: Which four? There's one, two, three--

MARISHA: Didn't you say there were four of them?

SAM: Oh, there's five!

LAURA: Oh, there's five of them!

MATT: Yes.

SAM: I didn't see the fifth.

MARISHA: Well, I still can't do it higher than the 2nd-level.

SAM: I still don't see the fifth.

MATT: One, two, three, four, five.

SAM: Oh, that's with them!

LIAM: (like Bane) Maybe you should Bane the caster.

MARISHA: Yep, is there a caster?

LIAM: (like Bane) Yes.

MARISHA: I'll Bane all the ones that look the most threatening.

MATT: Okay, which are? All of these?

MARISHA: All of them except for that guy. What's that guy farthest from me? What does he look like?

MATT: That looks to be an armored hobgoblin. Dark, dark reddish tanned skin with a more of a hobgoblin facial expression. Their hair looks spiked up and wild a little bit and they have a crazy look in their eye.

MARISHA: Okay, I'll skip him and get everybody else.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Goblin on hob.

SAM: Liam, I just got your text from an hour ago.

LIAM: 45 minutes ago?

SAM: Yeah.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Okay, are you staying put? What's the range on Bane?

MARISHA: 30 feet, so I'll move up to do it.

MATT: So, the range on Bane is 30 feet?

MARISHA: Yeah, but I also have Spell Sniper.

MATT: 30. So that's somewhere you can move. Okay. This guy's in 30 feet, and he's the only one within 30 feet of you.

SAM: Dude. You're blowing it, Ray! You're blowing it! (laughter)

SAM: Third attempt. Take it back.

MARISHA: Okay. Jesus Christ.

LIAM: He can't help you now.

MARISHA: I don't know what to do, then. Then I will...

ASHLEY: (like Bane) Ooh. Could I please have a wedge salad?

MARISHA: I thought that those would all be-- And--

SAM: It doesn't work in a can. (laughter)

ASHLEY: This is not an empty cup!

MARISHA: I'll cast--

MATT: Yeah?

SAM: (Bane groan)

MARISHA: I'll cast Blur on myself.

SAM: (like Bane) Siri.

MATT: Okay, so put Bane back in there. You have Blur on yourself. Good to go.

MARISHA: Yeah. That was ridiculous!

LAURA: Good job.

SAM: Oh, wow!

MARISHA: Sorry, y'all.

MATT: That's fine. You got there, it's okay. All right.

LIAM: Yeah, we're far away.

MATT: This person here looks--

SAM: They're all moved? It's their move?

MATT: Yes.

LAURA: Oh no.

MATT: Well, not all of their move.

SAM: Oh, okay.

LAURA: Oh god.

MATT: That one there, who looks to be essentially sitting in the center of the pack goes, "All right, boys. Looks like we're taking a bunch of things today." Is going to turn forward, and is going to go after you.

ERIKA: Ah!

MATT: This is going to be three melee attacks.

TRAVIS: Whoa. (gasping)

MATT: That's going to be a 23 to hit.

ERIKA: Oh, yep.

MATT: 24 to hit.

ERIKA: Oh god.

MATT: And a 22 to hit.

ERIKA: (screams)

TRAVIS: Who was making these attacks? Just so I know who to run from.

MATT: That one right there.

TRAVIS: Okay. Right up on her.

MATT: They have a handaxe in each hand

and are just like: Whack, whack, whack! Just all three hits dealing 20 points of slashing damage to you.

SAM: Ooh.

ERIKA: I come into your home and I'm unceremoniously attacked.

MATT: Indeed, and when you take the wounds, it turns to you and goes, "Like I said, drop your shit and run. Or stay and die." That's going to finish his--

ERIKA: How about third option? (laughter)

MATT: Perfect, and is going to shift around and put you between the newcomers and themself, and then with that, this individual behind you, Orym is going to cast-- Is going to cast Invisibility on themself.

SAM: Such a Chetney move.

TALIESIN: What a Chetney. That guy's a total Chetney.

MATT: Last thing you remember, and I'm going to put this marker so you know where they were last, but that was where you watched them.

LIAM: Do I hear the ground scrabble at all like they're making a move?

MATT: You do.

LIAM: I'm going to slash out at the air in front of me.

MATT: I'll allow it because you have a really high passive perception. Yeah.

LIAM: Okay. It would be a disadvantage, but it's straight.

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: Yeah, it's just disadvantage.

MATT: Disadvantage.

LIAM: Yeah. I'll call it... That's a two, that's fair. That misses.

MATT: Yeah. Finds no purchase on wherever they might be.

TRAVIS: Ow, it's me!

MATT: All righty, now goes FCG.

SAM: Okay, I will roll my little wheel forward. (whirring) As far as I can go. Boy, do I take one out or do I help our new friend? Let's use the rest of my movement to get even closer.

MATT: So, you're going to go double move?

SAM: Double move, action to move. Let's go on the other side of the boxes. Yeah, right there.

MATT: Oh my god.

SAM: Then bonus action, I'll cast Shield of-- Well, I call it Shield of Help. On this elf person, granting a shimmering field of-- So yeah, you feel a little something, and you see a little shimmer around you and now you have a +2 bonus to your AC.

ERIKA: Thank you!

MARISHA: Oh, that's good.

ERIKA: Thank you so much!

TALIESIN: That's very good.

SAM: Whoever you are, we will protect to you!

ERIKA: Thank you! I probably have some money that I can send your way.

SAM: I don't care about that, but thank you. I mean, I don't want to speak for everybody, but let's talk later.

ERIKA: Okay! (chuckling)

MARISHA: Here, you want some scratch paper?

ERIKA: Oh, yes.

MATT: All righty. So with that cast over there, finishing your turn, it is now--

MARISHA: Here, have a pencil!

ERIKA: Thank you!

MATT: -- this figure's turn.

LAURA: Feel like we've got to have some journals here. (laughter)

MARISHA: Actually, we do.

SAM: We've got a sharpie.

LAURA: Yeah, there's one in there, right?

MARISHA: Do you want a Legend of Vox Machina journal?

ERIKA: Where can I get one of these if I were to have one of them in real life?

MATT: Jesus Christ. So, FCG, one of the figures runs over, charges towards you, blade out, pulling a hand crossbow to the side. Right before they get to you, they reach forward and (bolt firing) fire a bolt at you.

SAM: At me? B-b-but.

MATT: That's going to be a--

SAM: But I wear glasses.

MATT: Yes, you do. That is going to be a 13 to hit.

SAM: That misses.

MATT: So it actually, you pull back and it deflects off your metallic form.

SAM: Did it smudge or scratch my chest?

TALIESIN: Everybody's been rubbing your little symbol for luck.

MATT: It did, ever so faintly.

SAM: Ah, goddamn it!

MATT: With that, this figure's going to rush up to here, and is going to attempt to grapple you, Erika.

MARISHA: Grapple?

TRAVIS: You're getting flanked.

MATT: So I need you to make an athletics or acrobatics check.

ERIKA: Oh, you got to be kidding me! All right.

ASHLEY: Come on.

SAM: This piece of shit.

ERIKA: Okay, all right.

SAM: I'm talking about Matt Mercer. (laughter)

ERIKA: Dirty 20.

MATT: Dirty 20! You manage to slip out of their grasp right as they try and get a handhold in your armor, you wiggle out of it and turn around. With that, they'll take another strike because they get two. The first one was just to try and grapple you. Angrily, they go (groaning) and take a morning star and swing it down towards you.

TRAVIS: We got to get up there.

MATT: That is going to be a 20 to hit.

ERIKA: Oh, shoot. Yeah. You got me.

SAM: Oh, even with the bonus AC?

ERIKA: Yeah!

SAM: Oh, damn.

MATT: That is-- Ooh, that's 11 points of bludgeoning damage. As it comes down and slams you in the shoulder, you almost fall to one knee. You're grasping the edge of your blade at the ready. That's going to finish their go. Ashton, you're up, with Fearne on deck.

TALIESIN: Cool. I'm going to charge full speed. Let's see, who can I reach with my 40 feet?

MATT: You can probably reach either of these.

SAM: Such FOMO, I love it. They're metal!

TALIESIN: Our strange friend is knee deep in them and I cannot get to both of them at the moment.

MATT: At the moment, no.

TALIESIN: I'm going to run at the person who attacked FCG. I'm going to get on the other side of them, I think, or I'm going to get as far towards our friend as possible.

MATT: 40 will get you right there.

TALIESIN: 40 to get there? I'm going to rage and beat the ever living fuck out of that dude.

MATT: All righty.

TALIESIN: So let's go with-- Ooh, we're going with time powers. Exciting.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: All right.

LAURA: ♪ Time after time ♪

SAM: ♪ If you're lost ♪

TALIESIN: Let me just pull up because I've got a bunch of new shit.

SAM, LAURA, and MATT: ♪ And you will find me ♪

MATT, ASHLEY, SAM, and ERIKA: ♪ Time after time ♪

TALIESIN: Just so I can double check. Okay, that'll be fun. I'm going to do a... I'm going to start with a reckless attack.

MATT: Go for it. Let's get your two reckless attacks on this, if you're taking both.

TRAVIS: Let's go.

MATT: First one.

TALIESIN: Is... Nine plus a thing I can't see. 18?

MATT: 18 hits.

TALIESIN: That's 2d6 plus six. That's 3d6. My brain works. That's pretty good. That's 17 points for the first hit.

MATT: Ooh, nice.

TALIESIN: Going again, reckless. Oh, that hits. That's like 22.

MATT: All right, damage for the second hit.

TALIESIN: Not quite as good. Eight points.

MATT: Eight points.

TALIESIN: Oh, 10 points. The other one should have also been two more points.

MATT: Got you, so 19 and 10.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: All right, so, wham! Wham! Two heavy hits to this one (groans). Gets knocked down to the ground on both their knees for a second, steels themself, and shoulder rolls off to the side and--

TALIESIN: Run. (chuckling)

MATT: All righty, that finishes your go. Fearne, you are up, with you on deck.

ASHLEY: Okay, is there a grouping of them that's somewhat close together? Because I'm in a funny little spot here.

MATT: So you are over here. Where would you like to go?

ASHLEY: I might just--

MATT: There's two there.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: There's two there. There's one invisible somewhere that you saw vanish.

ASHLEY: So the ones that are a little bit closer, is Erika in with that group over there?

MATT: Over here, Erika's with this group over here.

ASHLEY: Okay. So the group that's a little bit closer, I'm going to cast Entangle--

MATT: Okay, what's the range on that one?

ASHLEY: Wrap up their-- Say again? 90 feet.

MATT: 90 feet? Oh, yeah, you have plenty of range on that. All right. So is that a dexterity saving throw?

ASHLEY: That is a strength.

MATT: A strength saving throw? All right.

ASHLEY: 16.

MATT: Strength saving throw for you as well, Ashton.

ASHLEY: Oh, shit. Sorry.

TALIESIN: Wait, which?

TRAVIS: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Sorry, I was reading what the fuck I can do.

ASHLEY: I cast Entangle.

TALIESIN: Okay, so strength save?

ASHLEY: Yes.

TALIESIN: Okay. I have... Do I have advantage on strength saves or just strength checks?

MATT: While you're raging? Yes, you do.

TALIESIN: Oh, thank you.

TRAVIS: ♪ Beat it ♪

ERIKA: ♪ Beat it ♪ ♪ (vocalizes "Beat It") ♪

TALIESIN: That's pretty good! 20.

MATT: 20. There is a 19 on this one, and a 10 on this one.

ASHLEY: Okay. We got one.

MATT: So, this one has... The two of you pull away from it, and this massive gnoll you can see, with a bit of scalemail armor and a giant skull fashioned as one of its shoulder pieces on the side with all this inked lines dripping down that have been sealed there turns. (gnoll growling) Is getting ready to move, and the ground suddenly breaks open and all of these vines begin to wrap around its legs and hold it in place. (gnoll growling)

ASHLEY: Oops. As a bonus action, I am going summon Mister.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Get him ready.

MATT: Where do you want Mister to be summoned? Do you want to move closer or stay where you are?

ASHLEY: Yes, I'm going to move a little closer.

MATT: Full movement?

ASHLEY: Yeah, where does full movement get me?

MATT: Right there?

ASHLEY: Yeah, let's do that. Maybe a little bit, if there's any cover anywhere.

MATT: You can get behind this wall here, maybe.

ASHLEY: Yeah, let's just do that.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Then I'll put Mister a little bit to my left over there somewhere.

MATT: Over here?

ASHLEY: Yeah, maybe in... Closer this way.

MATT: Closer this way?

ASHLEY: Yeah. Yeah, let's go right there.

MATT: Okay, you got it.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: There's my turn.

MATT: Finishing your go, you're up.

ERIKA: Oh, that's right! Boom, and I disappear, and a thunder clap rolls out, booming. You can hear it all over this area. Anybody within five feet of me, make a con save.

MATT: (laughs) Natural one, and 16.

ERIKA: Meets it beats it, it's 16.

MATT: Meets it beats it, yeah. So this person over here does make it, but this one fails.

ERIKA: Okay, so the one that makes it--

MARISHA: Meets it beats it.

ERIKA: Meets it beats it. Does, wait. (mutters)

MATT: It's half damage on a failure?

ERIKA: Half damage on a failure.

MATT: Or half on a success. Sorry, yeah.

ERIKA: Half damage on failure, and--

TRAVIS: Some of Erika's dice are fucking fatal looking.

ERIKA: They're awesome.

TRAVIS: Weapons.

MARISHA: Fatal, you said?

TRAVIS: Fatal looking.

MARISHA: (laughs)

ERIKA: Well, all right. 12 on a failed one, and then six on a successful one.

MATT: All righty. You...

ERIKA: Then I go (poofs) and I appear up above on the top of the roof.

MATT: On the roof, you got it.

SAM: Oh wow!

TRAVIS: Yo, let's go!

ERIKA: Hell yeah!

TRAVIS: Changing levels!

ERIKA: I did it!

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: Looming down from atop, shield still shimmering around you from the strange mechanical automaton.

ERIKA: I did it!

MATT: (laughs) All right, does that finish your turn?

SAM: Well shit, now we're fighting these things, and she ran away! (laughs)

ERIKA: No, I'm still here.

MATT: (laughs) Is that your turn?

ERIKA: Yeah.

MATT: All righty, got it. That brings us to Chetney.

LIAM: Cool.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'm going to run up 25 feet.

LAURA: (pattering feet)

TRAVIS: Cool, no enemies around. I'm going to keep going. (laughter)

TRAVIS: I'm a-dashin'!

LIAM: And dancin'.

TRAVIS: Fast I can get, yeah. I'll stay right there, yeah. You fuckers! Okay, that's my turn.

MATT: Okay. Now, quick question, Fearne. When you cast Entanglement, does the space around it remain entangled while you're concentrating?

ASHLEY: Yes, so it is a 20-foot--

SAM: Oh wow, that's a big area.

ASHLEY: -- radius.

MATT: Okay, all right.

TRAVIS: Can we see that?

MATT: So yeah, you would be able to see all these vines running. Is it every round they have to make it? Or is it once somebody succeeds they're fine?

ASHLEY: It is--

SAM: Or enters?

ASHLEY: "A creature in the area when you cast a spell must succeed on a strength saving throw or be restrained by the entangling plants. A creature restrained by the plants can use its action to make a strength save against your spell DC. On a success, it frees itself." So I think it's just a one-time.

SAM: All this information.

TRAVIS: What's the duration of that?

MATT: Oh, I see, I see.

ASHLEY: One minute.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it stays up.

MATT: Creature in the area. All right, so no. So it just happens in the moment, and then whoever's restrained at that moment, so you're fine.

SAM: Oh, cool.

ASHLEY: Oh, okay.

MATT: Basically, all these vines reach up outward, only grabs one individual, and then they all vanish except for the ones that are holding that one. All right, so that's your-- It gets you up to it, full dash. You're good to go; you still have a bonus action, if you want.

TRAVIS: Yeah, but then they're not that great. So you know, I'm going to take out my-- Oh yeah! I'm going to take out my chisel, and I'm going to draw it up my calf. (hisses)

SAM: Ooh.

TRAVIS: You see flames engulf the chisel as I use my Crimson Rite to get this shit kicked off.

ASHLEY: Ooh!

TALIESIN: (whistles)

MATT: You got it.

TRAVIS: Roll a little d6 and oh, it hurts me for six, you bitch.

MATT: (laughs) All right. You take six points of damage, but you're-

ERIKA: That little old man just cut himself?

TRAVIS: It's an intimidation tactic. Don't worry, it's going to be great.

MATT: (laughs) All right. Finishing that, it's now the gnoll's go, which cannot move--

SAM: He's very senile.

MATT: -- which is why it's very helpful that something got within range of it.

LAURA: Oh.

TALIESIN: Oh.

MATT: So it's like, "(growls) Come on, little guy."

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

MATT: It's going to reach up with a massive glaive that it has in its hand.

TRAVIS: Cool.

MATT: Take two strikes against you. To g-- (laughs)

LAURA: To glaive.

MATT: That is going to be a 20 to hit.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it hits.

MATT: And a 20 to hit, same roll.

TALIESIN: Is that at disadvantage? Because it's (babbling)? No, it's just restrained.

MATT: Entangle, does Entangle restrain, or does it grapple?

ASHLEY: Stand by.

MATT: Might be restrain, in which case he is at disadvantage, I believe.

TALIESIN: Did it make everything?

MATT: No, restrained. Yeah, you're right. So it'll be 20 and 20. So the first one still hits, but disadvantage on the second one. 20, 21, wow. 15, 15, 15, 16.

TRAVIS: Wow, this dude is not playing at all.

MATT: It's rolling really, really well.

ERIKA: Oh!

MATT: So two hits on you.

TRAVIS: Oh boy. Not yet. (laughter)

ERIKA: Tell me when I should start to worry.

MATT: All righty, that brings us six points of slashing damage.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: And nine points of slashing damage.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: Trying to swing down, still hitting you, but you're quick and moving and they're glancing off you. One catches you on the side of the leg. The other one hits you in the stomach, but you roll out of the way and what would have been a deep gash instead becomes a glancing wound. You watch as the vines are still climbing up, Entangling them, and it's (growls) getting real frustrated in its own right. That's going to finish its go, bringing it to Imogen, with Orym on deck.

LIAM: Yep.

LAURA: All right, I'm going to step forward so I get closer.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Yeah, that sounds good. Like about even with Laudna, maybe a little bit further away from Laudna, closer to the building, yeah.

MATT: There you go.

LAURA: I am going to use my sorcerous capability.

ASHLEY: Restraints.

LAURA: I'm going to twinned spell.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I'm going to twinned spell my Mind Whip, and I'm going to lash my arm out and I'm going to try to hit both the baddie in between Ashton and FCG, and yeah, the gnoll.

MATT: All righty, go ahead. Is it a save on their part?

LAURA: Yes, it is. It's an intelligence save of 15.

MATT: Intelligence save, good to know. That is-- Wow, they're rolling really good. That's a natural 19.

LAURA: Cool.

MATT: On that one there. The gnoll, that's going to be a 14.

LAURA: Okay, great, so the gnoll is hit with 3d6 of psychic damage.

MATT: All righty.

ASHLEY: Nice.

LAURA: Okay, ooh, that's great. 14 points--

MATT: Nice.

LAURA: -- of psychic damage.

TRAVIS: (like Borat) Very nice.

MATT: It's half damage--

LAURA: (Borat) Very nice.

MATT: -- to the other.

MARISHA: (Borat) Very nice.

LAURA: Moreover, on its next turn, it must choose whether it gets a move, an action, or a bonus action. It only gets one of the three.

MATT: You got it, okay.

LAURA: On a successful save, the target takes half as much damage. So it would have taken seven points.

MATT: Seven points.

LAURA: The other guy.

MATT: Seven damage to the other figure, got it.

LAURA: I haven't been doing this, but I need to roll every time I use my sorcerous-- my sorcery points--

SAM: Oh, for wild shit?

LAURA: -- for my wild shit.

SAM: Oh yeah, you haven't done that in a long time!

TALIESIN: Time for some wild shit.

LIAM: Make her do 15 rolls in a row!

ERIKA: Big money, big money, big money, big money, big money, big money.

LIAM: (beatboxes)

LAURA: So it's a percentile thing. It's 100.

SAM: Wait, do you roll to see if it happens first--

MATT: Roll a d100.

SAM: -- or it just happens?

LAURA: Oh yeah, what do I do?

MATT: Roll a d100.

LAURA: Just a d100.

MATT: This item means that you can-- Well, it's up to you if you want to invoke it.

LAURA: Okay, yeah, it's happening.

MATT: It doesn't happen automatically, but if you want to invoke it, you can.

LAURA: It's happening.

SAM: Yeah!

ASHLEY: Yes, let's do it.

MATT: Roll a d100.

LAURA: 55.

SAM: Ooh, that's the worst one. (laughter)

TALIESIN: 55, stay alive.

ERIKA: 55.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: You're blue again.

TALIESIN: 54, out the door.

LAURA: (laughs) Oh no.

SAM: Oh my god, that smile.

LAURA: If it's a spell--

TALIESIN: Oh no!

LAURA: -- if it casts a spell, there's something that happens with it.

MATT: All right, so you watch as Imogen reaches into her head and unleashes this torrent of power. You watch as the sparks leave the hand, and there's a slight blur in the air, like an invisible force is careening through both of the figures. One of them grabs their head and tries to pull themself out of the way, taking some of the impact. The other, the gnoll, is wracked with pain and you all glance back and smile and see Laudna grinning as all the, sorry, sorry, Imogen. I know, fucking Laura--

LAURA: You're also grinning.

MATT: It's Laura, your name.

LAURA: No, it's fine.

MATT: You all look back and watch--

LAURA: Yeah, we're grinning.

MATT: -- as you're smiling, and the pink hair just falls out. (laughter)

MARISHA: Oh! (laughter)

LAURA: It's purple, it's purple.

ERIKA: What's happening?

LIAM: No, it's not, it's gone.

MATT: Leaving-- It is. You are a cue ball.

LAURA: Oh no, I Fjorded myself. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Lovers betwixt the campaign. Oh man.

SAM: Oh no!

LAURA: Uh-oh.

SAM: Laudna! (laughter)

SAM: I mean, Imogen.

MATT: Goddamn it.

LIAM: Oh my god.

LAURA: I'm a-- ah!

TRAVIS: Chetney turns and sees this and just takes his hat and throws it to her. (laughter)

MATT: It's kind of a cool look.

MARISHA: I just go: Um, so, that happens to me all the time, see? And just yank out a chunk of my hair.

LAURA: Don't. It's-- oh. As I pull Cheney's cap down on my head.

MATT: Okay. (laughs) All right, does that finish your turn?

LAURA: Yeah. (laughs)

MATT: All right, Orym, you're up.

LIAM: Oh man, Orym sees that, says: I don't know about that, and I turn back to what I was doing. I'm going to inch-- I'm going to move forward and see if I bump into anything as I move forward on that rock.

MATT: You do not.

LIAM: I do not. So then I'm going to leap to the top of that tent and slide down it towards that fencer.

SAM: Ooh.

LIAM: Zoop.

LAURA: Does it have to grow back?

MATT: Okay, you do bump into something on the tent.

LIAM: Oh!

MARISHA: This is a great time to get a head tat.

MATT: You just hear (grunts) and you slide down here.

LIAM: Yeah, I'll slide down to the ground, land in front. I'll land there--

LAURA: It was attached with a barrette. So the stone would have fallen off.

MATT: You hear the sound of impact over here somewhere.

LIAM: Ooh!

MATT: All righty.

LIAM: Cool. Then I'm going to squat low and swing at this other person's ankles.

MATT: Go for it.

LIAM: I'm flanking with Ash, right?

MATT: You...

LIAM: Has to be in front?

ASHLEY: I mean, you could really pull it off.

LIAM: Yeah, directly--

MATT: Yeah, sorry. Yes, you are.

LIAM: Okay. Natural 20.

TRAVIS: Yo, let's go!

ERIKA: What!

SAM: Did you say natural 20?

LIAM: I did.

ERIKA: Yeah!

ASHLEY: Oh!

LIAM: Let's make it a trip attack. They have to make a strength save against my 16.

TRAVIS: Yes, dude.

MATT: Got it.

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: That is going to be a 14.

LIAM: Nope. So they're going down on this first attack. So that is one plus one is--

TALIESIN: Yeah!

LIAM: Oh, well that's double, but that's really small, two, plus five is seven, plus the superiority die. Great, seven plus 16 is 23. They're down on the ground. Second attack, while they're on the ground. That's less. That is a 16 to hit.

MATT: 16. They're on the ground, so you technically have advantage.

LIAM: Right, I already have advantage.

MATT: Oh, you already have advantage.

LIAM: Right.

MATT: That's right, because they're-- So yeah, that does hit.

LIAM: That does hit, okay.

MATT: Just hits.

LIAM: Let's make it a-- we'll just make it a goading attack, because that's fun. That'll be three plus five is eight, plus that. 11 total.

MATT: That's a two. They fail.

LIAM: Okay, so they're pissed at me.

MATT: Well, they would be pissed, if they weren't unconscious and bleeding out.

LIAM: Oh.

ERIKA: Yay!

MATT: The first hit sweeps them on the ground, and the second hit, whack, slams across and gashes across them, and as you hear the (grunts) and they're just unconscious, and the wound itself, you can see a little bit of red, crimson staining the armor.

LIAM: Okay.

SAM: Did he just kill someone?

TALIESIN: Have I noticed any tattoos on these people yet?

MATT: You are raging. I'm going to say you're probably not in a space to be paying some--

TALIESIN: Fair.

MATT: -- close attention there, just based on the nature of a rage.

TALIESIN: No, no, no, that's fair.

MARISHA: Between you--

LIAM: Yeah.

SAM: You just killed an innocent person.

MATT: All right, does that finish your turn?

TALIESIN: Eh.

LIAM: Super innocent. Yep, that's the end of it.

MATT: Laudna, you're up.

MARISHA: All right. I am going to-- actually, no. I think I'm good. I'm going to skitter and peek around the corner, and I'm going to-- Chetney, are you all right?

TRAVIS: Ow!

MARISHA: Hmm. I'll split my arms, and you see a deathly gray necrosis start to run down Laudna's-- Both of her arms, and that turns into ice shards, and I'm going to do Ray of Frost at the gnoll, and then the guy with the big axe.

MATT: Over here?

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: You got it. All right, go ahead and--

MARISHA: Twinning the spell, by the way.

MATT: You've got it.

TRAVIS: Big glaiver it.

MARISHA: Green for the gnoll. Double 19.

ERIKA: (gasps)

ASHLEY: Whoa! Yes!

MATT: Yeah, those hit. Roll some damage.

MARISHA: Awesome.

ASHLEY: Ooh!

MARISHA: Now watch as I roll ones on these damage. Oh, five and a six, actually! (excited noises) 11 points of cold damage, and their speed is reduced by 10.

MATT: Gotcha.

SAM: Wow. (like Owen Wilson) Oh wow.

ALL: (like Owen Wilson) Oh wow.

MATT: Reduces by 10, that's good to know.

SAM: Oh wow.

MATT: All righty.

MARISHA: That's good.

SAM: And your hair falls out.

MARISHA: (laughs) Solidarity. (laughter)

LIAM: That's how you make it up to her.

MARISHA: Yes. (laughs)

MATT: The one back there who, the one with the two handaxes, who was the aggressive leader who was yelling at this individual in the alley, gets the blast of cold energy that leaves these crystals across their armor, takes an axe, and shakes them off the front, glances up and sees you up on the rooftop, and goes, (grunts) "Grab something and run, gents. Let's not make this worth nothing." Is going to run forward towards you. And is going to attempt to wrestle the hammer off of your hand. ALL Ooh!

TALIESIN: Is it 10, was it 10, only the 10 feet they move?

MATT: They move 10 feet.

TALIESIN: Okay, before they move 10 feet, I'm going to use Temporal Morass. So I need a constitution saving throw on that fucker.

LIAM: More ass.

MATT: That is going to be 16.

SAM: More.

TALIESIN: What is my?

MARISHA: 16 is what they rolled?

MATT: 16, yeah. They're rolling real good this round, guys. I don't know to tell you.

TALIESIN: Yeah, they save.

MARISHA: Silvery Barbs.

MATT: Okay. All right, so what does that do? Remind me again.

MARISHA: He has to reroll and take the lower dice on an ability, on an attack roll, ability check, or saving throw.

MATT: All right, rolled again, natural three. That's a failure on Temporal Morass.

TALIESIN: Okay, so.

ERIKA: Yes!

TALIESIN: So where is-- I moved around too far. There it is.

SAM: ♪ Silvery Barbs ♪

MARISHA and ERIKA: ♪ Silvery barbs ♪

MATT: Do they take damage at all?

MARISHA: No, but--

TALIESIN: Their speed is halved. Their speed is halved again. They can't, it is halved, and they can't take a reaction until next turn.

MATT: Right. So 30 goes to 15, or it was 30 to 20, halved to 10, and they move 10 to get to you, which means they have no movement to get away from you this turn. Yeah, that sucks.

TALIESIN: And no reaction.

MATT: Right. So they run towards you, (zooms) and their body just seems to slow as they reach out and grab the hammer. They still get to it.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: But let's make a contested strength check.

TALIESIN: Okay, do I get advantage on this?

MATT: You do have advantage because you're raging.

TRAVIS: Ragé.

MARISHA: Also, also, Silvery Barbs, I get to take disadvantage on one and throw it on another. So I take this man's essence, this person's essence, and just, from his perspective, it looks like a little bit of his life force is being sucked out of him and into Ashton to have advantage.

MATT: All right, which gives him advantage.

TALIESIN: I already had advantage.

MARISHA: Well, fuck you. (laughter)

TALIESIN: It's all right.

MATT: All righty.

LIAM: ♪ Silver barbs ♪

TALIESIN: Wow, one of them's a two and the other one's a natural 20, which gives me a 24.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Not too shabby.

MATT: Grabs the hammer, pulls. (grunts)

TALIESIN: Slowly blue energy is just getting sucked into me as I slowly start vibrating, faster and faster

MATT: Release the hammer. (slow-mo) "We got to go!" (laughter) It's going to turn in super slow motion. Everyone, all of their companions go, "What the fuck?" Start looking around at the shifting tide here. With that, the illusionist is going to drop invisibility, after I throw them in the middle of the battlefield in a really intense way. They get back up. They're going to cast. All righty. I need you, Ashton, to roll a wisdom saving throw.

TALIESIN: Oh no.

LAURA: Uh-oh.

TALIESIN: Aw yeah, that's a seven.

MATT: That's a seven.

LAURA: Oh no.

MATT: All right. You are, after the enemy goes to turn, you're holding your hammer tight. You look back to your friends with a knowing glance. Suddenly out of the sky, you hear this tearing sound, as it opens up and you watch as dropping out of it is a more broken version of yourself.

ERIKA: (gasps)

MATT: Dripped in shadow, holding its own hammer, holds it towards you, and then rushes at you with intense speed. It fills you with an unexpected sense of fear. Even amongst your rage, you get the sense, and you don't understand quite the powers you have, but this is not a good side effect of it. So just note, you are currently under the effect of a spell.

SAM: A spell!

MATT: Is going to run there. They only had that much movement, because they fell. So that's going to end their turn. That brings us to FCG.

SAM: Did we see that happen to Ashton?

MATT: No, you just see Ashton turn back to you and go (sighs)

SAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: Hmm.

SAM: Huh. And who cast it?

MATT: You don't--

SAM: The slowpoke?

MATT: You just saw somebody run out of here. You didn't see any spellcasting. You just saw a figure run out from behind the tent. It's now running away.

SAM: Oh man. I don't know who to target. There's the regular gnoll. There's this--

MARISHA: The regular gnoll.

TRAVIS: Help!

MATT and MARISHA: ♪ Regular ♪ ♪ gnoll! ♪

SAM: The guy right next to Ashton is the slow motion fellow?

MATT: Correct.

SAM: (sighs)

TRAVIS: Ah! Please he-elp. (laughter)

LAURA: Help!

TRAVIS: Halp!

LAURA: Ha-lp.

SAM: Are you okay?

TRAVIS: A libble lie. (laughter)

SAM: What? (laughter)

TRAVIS: Big bada boom! (laughter) Big.

LAURA: Big bada boom.

TRAVIS: (yells) Big bada boom! (laughter)

SAM: But I do see someone running away from us, right?

MATT: You do, yes.

SAM: I don't understand at all.

TRAVIS: You never saw Fifth Element? What the fuck?

SAM: What?

MATT: (laughs)

SAM: I haven't seen anything. That person's running away. Oh boy, I don't know who to attack! Eh!

TRAVIS: Big bada boom!

SAM: Don't know what that means!

TRAVIS: Help! (laughter)

SAM: What?

LAURA: He's saying "help!"

SAM: Oh!

MARISHA: (laughs)

SAM: Help him?

TRAVIS: I am the size of his glave!

SAM: He's fine.

TRAVIS: Look at it!

SAM: All right, fine. I'll interpret his.

TRAVIS: No, no, no! Don't do it!

SAM: His wild, weird musings.

TRAVIS: Oh look, a hawk. (laughter)

SAM: Oh, where? (laughter)

SAM: It's not a hawk, but okay. (laughter)

SAM: I'll move onto the other side of, towards Ashton a bit.

MATT: Okay. (counting)

SAM: I guess I'll help little boy over there. (laughter)

SAM: I'll turn to the regular gnoll and I'll cast Command.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Nice.

MATT: What you Command him?

SAM: I Command it to monologue.

MARISHA: Hmm!

MATT and ERIKA: (laughs)

MATT: Eight.

SAM: Yeah. (laughter)

ERIKA: (claps)

MATT: All righty.

LIAM: Oh my god.

TALIESIN: That's so mean.

MATT: Okay, that finishes your go.

SAM: I have bonus actions, but.

MATT: You do.

SAM: No, that was a spell. I can't really do anything else, so, yep, that's it.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: We're good.

MATT: Finishing your turn. It is now-- The figure on the ground is going to go ahead-- Were you going for a death blow when you were striking it last time?

LIAM: No, I wasn't.

MATT: Okay, so they're just unconscious. They are making death saves. That's a failure. All right, the other one, the over here is going to dart forward to the one that is commanding friends and creating shields, and it's going to make strikes against you, FCG.

SAM: Oh no!

ERIKA: (gasps)

MATT: So it's two strikes hit you with the big, old mace.

TALIESIN: Can I see any of this, or no?

MATT: Yeah, it's right to the left of you.

TALIESIN: Okay, so I can see everything else going on. There's just a version of me that's like?

MATT: Correct. But it's now coming towards you with an intense darkness, and the air itself is seeming to darken around it. It feels like whatever power you've been granted is coming back to reap what you've been sowing. So with that would be a 15 to hit.

SAM: Miss!

MATT: Miss. The first strike goes towards you. You, like, duck out of the way, it slams into the ground. With that, they swing backwards to try and get you with the back hand. That is going to be a 22 hit.

SAM: That hits.

MATT: All right. You take, ooh, 11 points of bludgeoning damage.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: On that one. As you push back from there, and then... Oh, hold on. I'm not even looking at that. That's an additional five on that, because it's 2d8. That's on me. So that'll be an additional five points of bludgeoning damage.

SAM: Sure, sure.

MATT: That's going to, and then it's going to rush.

SAM: Do I get an attack of opportunity?

MATT: You do. Have you used your reaction?

TALIESIN: I don't remember if Temporal Morass is a reaction. It doesn't say it is, but?

ASHLEY: Morass.

MATT: No, you would all-- Both of you would both give reactions. That is to try to roll.

TALIESIN: Okay, I'll take that.

MATT: It tries to hit you, but I do need to make a concentration check.

LAURA: Less hair, Morass.

SAM: A concentration check. (laughter)

MATT: Correct.

SAM: On the spell I have on her?

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: That would be my next roll of a d20.

MATT: It would be.

SAM: Damn it! Matthew!

TALIESIN: Oh yeah.

SAM: "Gain advantage on the next d20 roll." That's the one I have to make, I guess.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Damn you.

MARISHA: Come on.

SAM: 18.

MATT: Yeah. So you maintain the spell--

SAM: I didn't want to use the advantage on that!

MATT: Sorry, taking hits.

SAM: Damn it! (laughter)

TALIESIN: 20, it's like 26.

MATT: That hits. You roll damage, and...

SAM: And then to attack, right?

MATT: Yes.

SAM: Buzzsaw. 13 plus something, plus four. 17.

MATT: That hits. That's exactly its armor class.

SAM: Hey!

LAURA: Yes!

SAM: Not very big. Five points of damage!

MATT: All righty.

SAM: (buzzsaw whirrs)

TALIESIN: Oh, sorry. 14.

MATT: 14, got it. As it runs back, charging away it gets hit. He's like, "Leave him! They're surrounding him!" You can see it's just abandoning the one that's on the ground bleeding out.

SAM: Oh no.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Bad guys.

MATT: That's going to finish their go. With that, Ashton, you're up, with Fearne on deck.

SAM: What about the big elf girl?

LAURA: You don't want to abandon your friends, you know? (laughter)

LAURA: Just don't.

MATT: You're coming up.

LAURA: They rude!

SAM: See what we're doing for ya?

ERIKA: Thank you!

TALIESIN: Let's see. Okay. I know that the person next to me can't really do anything about me right now, so I'm going to try and knock them out before I run. I just saw them. The one I, the person next to me hasn't-- It was the one trying to take my hammer, right?

MATT: Correct.

TALIESIN: I'm going to spend a point for Hyper Rage.

MARISHA: I could certainly try.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Which will do all sorts of interesting things.

SAM: She promises you, Imogen.

TALIESIN: First thing is, I'm going to take a attack against this guy, which is, and I'm actually, I'm not going to use a Reckless because I'm afraid.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: That's 23 to hit.

MATT: You have disadvantage on these.

TALIESIN: Well, why's that?

MATT: Because you are considered Frightened.

TALIESIN: Oh, uh.

SAM: Sorry.

MATT: Oh, actually, this reminds me.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: No, no, I'm sorry. Continue. Go ahead, you are considered frightened.

TALIESIN: Okay. I don't... (laughter)

MATT: Proximity, the thing running at you has you frightened, so you technically have disadvantage on the roll.

TALIESIN: Okay, if I slightly shift, can I get into a flanking position with FCG, or? can I get into a flanking position with FCG, or? Just get, just nothing?

MATT: You can technically, because you're fleeing from this. So it's frightened, it can move you over here, but you're still, so that, it would put you on even balance.

TALIESIN: On even balance? That'll do, so 23.

MATT: Yes, that hits.

TALIESIN: I'll just do that damage really quick. Ooh. 19.

MATT: 19, okay.

TALIESIN: Taking another attack. 14?

MATT: 14 misses.

TALIESIN: Third attack.

MATT: That's right, because you were the...

TALIESIN: Yep, 23.

MATT: 23 hits.

SAM: You're slowly turning into--

TALIESIN: 17.

SAM: -- Papa Smurf.

MATT: 17. (slashes) Hit him in the back. (grunts)

MARISHA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Is that the slow mo?

MATT: Yep. You swing a second time, and the him-- you swing, and they put their arm up and deflect it. (slowly) "Nice try." (laughter)

MATT: You hit them with a third blow. A tooth goes out of their mouth. They're just like, now the wide eyed and desperate looking to just run. They're a little in over their heads.

TALIESIN: Frightened means that I can't move--

MATT: Can't move actively move closer to the target.

TALIESIN: Closer to. What's that point?

MATT: It's this area.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: In the center.

TALIESIN: Then I'm going to flip around to the other side of the guy who's currently behind me, who's behind me right now.

MATT: Right here?

TALIESIN: I'm going to flip over there.

MATT: Okay, he doesn't get a reaction because he was affected by your Temporal Morass.

TALIESIN: Yes.

MATT: All right, you got it.

MARISHA: Who isn't?

MATT: I mean... (laughter)

ASHLEY: I mean, let's--

MATT: Jesus Christ.

TALIESIN: Damn! (laughter)

LAURA: Damn!

MATT: Language does not escape this table unscathed.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: All right, that finishes your turn.

TALIESIN: That finishes my turn.

MATT: Make a another wisdom saving throw.

TALIESIN: 10.

MATT: 10. You suddenly feel this image, this dark image of you that's been walking towards you, dart towards you--

TALIESIN: Oh fuck.

MATT: -- and reaches out and grabs your face.

ERIKA: (gasps)

MATT: As it does you feel the searing pain hit your mind. You take...

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

LAURA: Uh!

MARISHA: Always him.

TALIESIN: Oh shit.

MATT: Ouch.

ASHLEY: That sounds like...

TALIESIN: That's a lot of dice!

MATT: Oh! No.

LIAM: No!

TRAVIS: What is this spell?

MATT: You take 31 points of psychic damage. (gasping)

TRAVIS and SAM: Oh!

SAM: Do I see this? Can I halve it? No.

MATT: No, you just see Ashton run and then suddenly like. (winces)

TRAVIS: What is happening?

SAM: Whoa!

MARISHA: What?

LAURA: It's that spell that...

TRAVIS: What is it?

SAM: I don't think it is.

LAURA: One of us, yeah, no, no, no. We had that spell.

MATT: You've had this spell in previous games.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: 31 points.

TALIESIN: That hurt.

SAM: It didn't do that much though.

TALIESIN: That hurt a lot.

MATT: 4d10.

MARISHA: 4d10.

TRAVIS: Holy shit.

MARISHA: You rolled damn good

SAM: Is this Eye Bite? No.

LAURA: No, no, no, you had it. It was...

TRAVIS: 31 out of 40 points.

LAURA: It's...

MARISHA: The mind chart.

MATT: You would know this. It's Phantasmal Killer.

LAURA: Phantasmal, that's it.

SAM: Phantasmal, what?

MATT: Killer.

SAM: Yeah, I didn't have that. I had Phantasmal Force.

MATT: That's right.

SAM: Which is 1d6 of damage.

MATT: This is the higher-level spell.

LAURA: Oh!

MARISHA: Wow.

MATT: You're right. So this is, yeah. It's a 4th-level one.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: Anyway.

MARISHA: 4th-level spell?

MATT: That finishes that go.

MARISHA: Who is this guy?

LAURA: (gasps)

TALIESIN: My wisdom saves suck, by the way, so I'm just going to put that out there.

TRAVIS: All right.

MATT: All righty, that brings us now, as-- watching you crumple there for a second, the tides shift a little bit and some of the fear begins to even out, finishing your go. Fearne, you're up, with you on deck.

ASHLEY: Okay, I'm going to breathe in my hands, and as I'm walking forward I'm going to fling out three Scorching Rays.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

ASHLEY: To whoever's over there, to whoever seems like it could work.

MATT: What's the range on Scorching Ray?

ASHLEY: 120.

MARISHA: Orym.

MATT: Oh yeah, you can do this.

SAM: The guy at the coffee shop.

MATT: Stay where you are and aim for some of them. Some of them will get-- if you don't move a little closer they might get some coverage.

ASHLEY: Yes, I will, as I'm walking forward.

LAURA: I'm just going to--

ASHLEY: Shooting them out.

LAURA: -- put my hands out so she doesn't step on my hair on the ground. (laughter)

TRAVIS: You're going to pick it up?

LAURA: Of course I am.

MATT: You just start scooping your hair up.

LIAM: Oh.

MATT: (pitying laughs)

TRAVIS: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: Shit, son.

MATT: So happy I put this item in the game.

ASHLEY: 26 for the first hit.

MATT: For which one, the?

ASHLEY: Yes. Yeah.

MATT: All right, so 26.

ASHLEY: Or, well, I want to hit the guy that, the first the guy that is hurting Ashton.

MATT: Okay. So, oh, that was this one here. So that definitely hits. Yep.

ASHLEY: Okay.

SAM: Sewing the hat.

MARISHA: Just sew it. Yeah.

SAM: Glue it on my head.

MATT: Well, actually you don't know who's hurting Ashton.

ASHLEY: I don't know who's doing that, right? Okay, never mind. 12 for the second hit.

MATT: So hit, miss, and then this one here.

TALIESIN: Potentially, you are the one

ASHLEY: 23.

TALIESIN: -- who's fucking with me.

TRAVIS: We don't know who it is.

ASHLEY: 23.

MATT: 23 hits.

ASHLEY: Okay, so two hit.

MATT: Who are you aiming for?

ASHLEY: Okay, so.

MATT: We have the gnoll.

TRAVIS: The one that ran away?

MATT: There are these four here.

ASHLEY: Gnoll, whoever's closest in our vicinity.

TALIESIN: Nobody's attacking.

MATT: Closest to you would be these three here.

ASHLEY: Yeah, let's do that.

MATT: Okay. So these two both get hit.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: I wonder if it's like, "vaguely magical is running away."

LAURA: I can't see anybody, so I don't know who's vaguely magical.

TRAVIS: He's got a staff.

LAURA: Okay.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LIAM: Staff.

ASHLEY: Seven for the first hit.

MATT: Okay, got it.

ASHLEY: And 11 for the second hit.

MATT: You've got it. Okay.

LAURA: Literally, all I can see is a gnoll.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: Sorry.

LIAM: Just this and a purple.

LAURA: And a purple guy, and townsfolk over here.

TALIESIN: Just the bangs of your hair-- Oh wait.

LIAM: These are the finest rocks in town.

MATT: Move this out of the way.

LAURA: Oh yeah, that helps!

TALIESIN: Oh yeah.

MATT: Sometimes the core gets in the way.

ASHLEY: So after that, now it's Mister's turn. I'm going to send Mister within 60 feet and I'm going to have him shoot a Flame Seed.

MATT: All righty.

ASHLEY: At--

MATT: Glides up on top, which by the way, Erika, you see this tiny monkey suddenly burst into flames, and fly up onto the rock, (monkey chittering) and reach back, and grab a flaming turd from its ass and throw it. What are you throwing it at?

ASHLEY: Okay. So the gnoll, is he still entangled, actually?

MATT: He is.

ASHLEY: Okay, so I'm going to have him do a Flame Seed at the one that seems to be right there under your finger. Forward?

MATT: Right here?

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: You got it. Okay, roll for an attack.

ASHLEY: So. 21.

MATT: 21 hits.

ASHLEY: Okay. Which one do I want? Seven points of damage.

MATT: Seven points of fire damage.

ASHLEY: Seven points of flaming shit.

MATT: (flames whoosh) (grunts) Looking very unhappy, very hurt. Now the tide's shifting again. Does that finish your turn?

ASHLEY: Yes, it does.

MATT: All righty. That brings us to your turn. Chetney on deck.

ERIKA: I have just-- Okay, you're-- Okay. I have just seen a little, old man cut himself and then go on fire. I have seen a lovely young woman's hair fall out. Then the other one next to her start pulling her a hair out. There's a monkey throwing flaming shit. I'm holding in a gaping wound in my side.

I'm like: You guys are the coolest fucking people I have ever seen in my life! I push out the guy in front of me. I push out the guy in front of me. I move around on the-- Yeah, that one. Then that one. I move to, yeah, towards me on the roof still. And then, I do, I reach out with both hands and two balls of force, crackling force, smash out into each of them. Well, man. So 10 and a 21.

SAM: Ooh!

MATT: 10 misses, 21 hits.

ERIKA: Okay. (throat clear) So that is, 11 damage to the one that hits. Then, actually, you can tell me this. Okay, I have to hit. Never mind. So the one that it hits, I move him a straight line.

MATT: Away from you?

ERIKA: Yes.

SAM: Ooh!

ERIKA: 10 feet.

MATT: All right, 10 feet, which would impact the other guy who managed to dodge out of the way. I'll say, for the purposes of this, roll a d6. On a one to three, it doesn't impact. On a four or higher--

ERIKA: Ah, one!

MATT: Good looking out. So he moves forward just as the other guy is charging past, and just stumbles over, and he ends up shifting one space to the side here, and like, hitting the rock and catching himself on it. Looking up over the top of the roof at you, with your arms out in front. "We got to go!"

ERIKA: Don't touch my stuff!

MATT: (laughs) Awesome. Anything else in your turn?

ERIKA: That's it.

MATT: All righty. Chetney, you're up.

TRAVIS: Uh! That was a hard hit. I'm glad you think I'm little. Did you know that there are arteries in your (deeply) thighs? I'll turn into, I'll transform into a werewolf, please. Thank you very much.

MATT: You watch this tiny, little gnome all of a sudden the flesh tear away to this massive bestial version.

TRAVIS: That's still holding a wood chisel.

MATT: Yep.

TRAVIS: (deeply) Open up.

MARISHA: Yeah, that tracks.

TRAVIS: I'll take two swipes at the inside of his thighs.

MATT: All right. Two attacks. He is restrained, so you have advantage in the attacks.

TRAVIS: Oh, nice.

MARISHA: We're bleeding them out, man.

TRAVIS: You know, you fuck around and find out. A dirty 20 for the first one.

MATT: That hits.

ERIKA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: That's better. 24.

MATT: Hits.

TRAVIS: Great. Plus eight is 12. And 12 points of damage, plus, just once, so four, so eight additional points of the Crimson Rite damage on each one of those.

MATT: Gotcha. The additional d6 on each of the strikes, an additional eight. So, 12, 12, and then additional eight?

TRAVIS: 12, 12 and eight.

MATT: Got it. Nice, 32 points of damage in two strikes.

ASHLEY: Damn!

MATT: Just slicing back and forth, and the gnoll is trying to pull away, but it can't, the vines are holding it in place, as you gash, you can see where you cut, you may not have hit an artery, but you've certainly left its legs quite bloody amongst the fur.

TRAVIS: (deeply) Stay and hit me again.

MATT: You see this massive, growling gnoll, this look of fear in its eyes. It goes (panicked nosies), and it's about to turn and run. It's gone full hyena. All right, does that finish your turn? You can still move, if you want.

ERIKA: Gobbled like a turkey.

TRAVIS: I'm going to stay in his melee and just do a 180 around him.

MATT: You got it, trying to cut him off.

TRAVIS: That'll be my turn.

MATT: All right, finishing your go, it is now the gnoll's go. The gnoll is going to attempt, he's going to use his action to try and break free of the restraint.

SAM: He can't use his action for that, he has to use his action--

MATT: That's right.

SAM: -- to monologue.

MATT: That's right, that's right!

ASHLEY: That's right!

MATT: The gnoll, looking scared, frightened, goes to try and run, the legs taut, bleeding and bound by the vines, looks across the field, slow motion shot, as the sad ending music plays in his head, he's seeing his friends falling and fleeing and just looks out into the horizon and goes, "And it was on this day I truly began to understand that I had much to learn, that I had much to lose, and perhaps I needed to seek my fortunes elsewhere. I am getting very dizzy." (applauding)

ASHLEY: Where's that from?

LIAM: You, Simon. (laughter)

TRAVIS: "What's that from?"

MATT: That'll ends his turn because he's restrained and can't move. Okay, okay, yeah. All right, Imogen you're up. Orym, you're on deck.

LAURA: He also doesn't get a reaction on his turn.

MATT: Nope.

LAURA: Okay, I'm going to try, yeah, because of the other thing that I cast on him.

TRAVIS: Nice.

LAURA: Can I move up? I want to try to get in a line to where I can hit these two.

SAM: Can she move faster now that she's more aerodynamic?

LIAM: Get an extra five feet.

MATT: You can do a line there, if you want.

LAURA: Great.

TALIESIN: Damn.

LAURA: Yeah, I'm going to do that and I'm going to cast Lightning Bolt.

MATT: Lightning Bolt, okay, you can hit two, actually, no, if you do it in a line, this way, you can hit all three.

LAURA: Great.

MATT: Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. All righty. Dex saves for that guy. No, that's a two. Hobgoblin. That's a three. And the main guy. That is a 12.

LAURA: They all fail.

TRAVIS: Yes!

MATT: All fail.

LAURA: So they all take 8d6 lightning damage.

TRAVIS: Damn!

ASHLEY: 8d6?! A piece?

TRAVIS: Three hits?

SAM: Is the lightning purple?

LAURA: Six, you know it is. Six, seven, eight.

SAM: Oh my god. A lot of ones.

LAURA: Three sixes.

SAM: A lot of sixes, yeah.

LAURA: 18, 20, 22. 24, 27 points of lightning damage.

MATT: Okay. Well, we'll see if-- The illusionist does maintain its concentration.

LAURA: Sorry, I was trying.

MATT: It is burned, and you watch as the clothes, like cinders on the edges, and they're like coughing, smoke goes out of their mouth. They look back at you, just angrily staring, arms out, as the energy still begins to disseminate through your arms and the ground itself within your body, your smooth head, glistening off the midday sun.

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: You're wearing my hat, I think, right?

LAURA: I am wearing Chetney's heat.

MATT: That's true. Glistening off the edges of it and the beautiful midday sun texture on the knitted cap.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: How do you want to do this on the leader of the group and the bugbear? (cheering)

SAM: Double do this.

LAURA: Yeah. I want them straight through the center, it starts to char black and they just get engulfed in flames.

MARISHA: Death becomes her.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: They are--

LAURA: So as it goes through, I want to stare through the holes of their body at the caster before they crumble.

MATT: Full-on Tombstone style?

LIAM: Wow.

TRAVIS: Uh-huh.

MATT: "I'm out, I'm out!" Arms up, fleeing arms up in the air. All right, does that finish your turn, Imogen?

LAURA: As a bonus action--

MATT: You got a bonus action, whatcha going to do?

LAURA: That caster is going

to hear in his head: I'm going to find you.

SAM: Oh god.

TALIESIN: (laughs)

MATT: Okay. Best bonus action ever. Orym, you're up, with Laudna on deck.

LIAM: Okay, I can see which way this is going, so I'm actually going to squat down real fast and tear the sleeve away from the person that I just stabbed through the shoulder, and I'm going to, just like I saw Nell and Maeve do so many times, I'm going to cast Druidcraft and grow moss over the wound and try to stabilize them.

MATT: Okay, yeah. Make a medicine check for me.

SAM: Nell and Maeve--

LAURA: Yeah, they're fine, right? Oh, they're d4s!

LIAM: That is 19.

MATT: 19, they're stabilized.

LIAM: Okay, action surge, I'm going to spring over them into a roll and them pop up running towards the caster.

MATT: Yeah, you can definitely do that.

LIAM: I'm going to use my shield--

LAURA: I rolled 2d4s by mistake.

MATT: Oh, okay.

SAM: What's that mean?

MATT: So?

LAURA: That means I could take three off.

MATT: Take three off and then instead add--

ERIKA: Yes! Ah!

LAURA: Instead to add 10 more.

ERIKA: Yay!

TALIESIN: Does that change the save at all for the caster?

MATT: No, he rolled a natural 18.

TALIESIN: Yeah, never mind. That's fine.

MATT: Which is still more than half, but they are deeply fucked up, barely holding on. It's like, (deep breathes) Back to you, Action Surge, you roll--

LIAM: Action Surge, using my shield to do a tripping attack.

MATT: Do it.

LIAM: Not to...

LAURA: They're so pretty and...

LIAM: That's cocked. Oh! It was so much better before, second slash. Or a shield gets me to 18.

MATT: 18 hits.

LIAM: Okay. So tripping attack, they have to make a strength save.

MATT: Natural 20.

LIAM: Oh okay.

MATT: They're rolling really good. They're not doing well, but they're rolling really good.

LIAM: Okay, so I'll bash them in the shins and go uh! I'll stand up with the shield and try to hit them in the face. They still take the extra damage.

MATT: Heck yeah.

LIAM: But this is, I'm trying to knock them out.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: That's a total of 16.

MATT: 16, that'll do it. With that final (thud), you watch as you smack him in the chin and you all hear the heavy metal on bone impact reverberate on the shield as they get shoryukened about three feet in the air, before (thudding) on the ground, unconscious, about 10 feet from you.

LIAM: End of turn.

MATT: I'll leave them here.

TRAVIS: Game over.

MATT: All right, Laudna, you're up.

MARISHA: Who's standing?

MATT: Just the gnoll who's wrapped in vines and is finishing its monologue. Looking out with feeling-- (laughter)

TRAVIS: With his eyes bleeding?

SAM: And scene.

LIAM: My second monologue will be from Coriolanus. (laughter)

ERIKA: Anus.

MARISHA: He's wearing metal armor?

MATT: Yes.

MARISHA: All right, I'm going to walk up to him.

I'm just going to say: I'm sorry. It's been a shit day. And Shocking Grasp him.

MATT: (laughs) Okay.

MARISHA: Which, it has advantage if he's wearing metal armor.

MATT: Fair enough.

TRAVIS: Oh shit!

MATT: Yeah, yeah.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MARISHA: Yeah, it's a natural 19.

MATT: Yeah, it'll hit. Go ahead and roll damage.

MARISHA: 2d8s. Yeah, that is 13 damage.

MATT: How do you want to do this?

SAM: Ooh! Poor guy.

MARISHA: Go sleep.

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: Go sleep.

MATT: (lightning crackles) Falls and then collapses onto the ground in the middle of this alleyway. The attention of this troop that had fallen upon this wayward wanderer, that you'd come to their aid are now dead or unconscious on the ground and you take a moment to catch your breath, look up at you and then look around at the handful of other people in the space that are all looking in, that are just like-- And go about the rest of their business. (laughter)

MATT: The two charred corpses on the ground still smoking and blood let, and no one just really gives a shit.

LAURA: I might've taken that a little bit far.

SAM: Are you all right, Ashton? Are you freaking out?

TRAVIS: How's Ashton doing?

MATT: The image that was coming towards you has vanished and now you have a clarity of mind. You still feel that deep, searing pain in your brain is starting to fade, but the spell no longer has purchase on your brain.

TALIESIN: Do I know what happened?

MATT: You get the sense that an illusion was attacking you and made you hurt.

SAM: Are you all right physically?

TALIESIN: I definitely do not look all right. What fucker did that?

SAM: I think they got away.

LIAM: I look up at the stranger on top of the building,

going like: You, you want to get out of here?

ERIKA: Yeah, yeah. I start climbing down. I'm so, so sorry to have inconvenienced you. I promise that I am normally quite a capable warrior.

MATT: Make an athletics check.

ERIKA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Coming off of a-- (laughter)

ERIKA: Oh god!

TRAVIS: -- third story roof. Come on, baby.

ERIKA: Oh god!

MARISHA: Oh my god, yes.

ERIKA: It's a two!

TRAVIS: Yeah!

MATT: Plus?

ERIKA: No, that's two.

TRAVIS: Welcome to the table.

MATT: Right as you finish the phrase, being "quite a capable warrior," one of edges comes off.

ERIKA: (screams)

MATT: You only fall 10 feet for a meager five points of bludgeoning damage, but your new friend hits the ground dust.

ERIKA: Ow!

ASHLEY: Are you okay?

ERIKA: I'm fine. It's just more embarrassing than anything else.

MARISHA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: No, no, no.

LAURA: There's nothing to be embarrassed about.

MARISHA: Laudna's laughing and clapping.

ERIKA: I get-- I stand up and dust myself off. I go, thank you, thank you. Oh boy.

TRAVIS: (deeply) You're welcome.

LIAM: All right, I'm going to grab Ashton by the hand and start walking towards

the group and go: I think this is a walk and talk. I think we're going to go now.

TALIESIN: Do I notice the little magic caster as we're walking by?

MATT: You do.

TALIESIN: One second. I'm going to head over.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Oh they're, you know...

TALIESIN: They asleep?

MATT: They are unconscious and (gasps).

TALIESIN: Okay, I'm going to start going through their stuff.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: I want them to be very aware that they're just being ransacked.

TRAVIS: Brain inside of their skull, or--?

TALIESIN: No, I'm taking all their stuff.

TRAVIS: Well, boring.

MATT: Okay, roll an investigation check.

TALIESIN: Investigation which is not great with me, but I get an 11.

MATT: 11's good. So, going through their stuff, they have one small dagger and a decent sheath on the side, looks far better than some of the stuff they're wearing. You also pull off of them 85 gold pieces.

TALIESIN: Cool. (oohing)

MATT: And two platinum.

TALIESIN: Mine.

TRAVIS: Yo!

LAURA: Dang. Damn.

MATT: Those are the things of interest. The rest is just small baubles and--

TALIESIN: No, I'm taking it all.

MATT: Okay, you take it all and you leave them as the other guy's (gasps).

TALIESIN: I take their staff, too.

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Pick them come up. I pull the knife out.

LAURA: Oh my god.

TALIESIN: I stab their cloak to the wall.

MATT: (gasps)

TALIESIN: I'm going to do an intimidation check.

MATT: Roll intimidation. What do you say to-- That is intimidating. You don't have to say anything. (laughter)

MATT: Just do it.

TALIESIN: That is a 17.

MATT: 17.

TALIESIN: (screams)

ERIKA: Wow!

LAURA: Jesus!

MATT: He passed out again.

TALIESIN: That'll do it.

MATT: (laughs)

SAM: Oh boy.

ERIKA: Your friend's real intense.

TALIESIN: I hope this shit was personal, keeping it.

ERIKA: Oh man.

ASHLEY: Can I peek in that tent?

TALIESIN: Sorry about the microphones.

LIAM: Grabbed the mic?

MATT: In the tent?

TALIESIN: I'm good.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Hello. We're the Bells Hells.

ERIKA: Bells Hells. Wow. Hi, I'm Dusk. It's so good to meet you.

SAM and MARISHA: Dusk!

ERIKA: I'm so-- You're all writing a bunch of stuff down. Amazing. Okay. Cool. Everybody's okay? Did you earn enough to compensate-- I have some money that I can. I just didn't want them to take my stuff. It's just--

ASHLEY: What were they trying to take from you?

ERIKA: Just my sword or just like everything, everything, like the monies.

SAM: It's a dangerous area. Are you from around here?

ERIKA: No, no!

SAM: Where are you from?

ERIKA: Uh, I don't-- Um. Hmm.

SAM: You don't remember?

ERIKA: It's not that I don't remember.

SAM: Or can't say?

ERIKA: It's just that it's like--

SAM: (whispers) You're a spy.

ERIKA: Things are a little bit...

ASHLEY: Fuzzy?

ERIKA: Fuzzy, a little mixed up. Do you ever have a dream so real that sometimes when you wake up you don't know whether or not you're still dreaming?

LIAM: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Literally the opposite.

ERIKA: Oh god. That's kind of what my life is like. I exist in this sort of twilighty area. I exist in this sort of twilighty area. I was touched by the Feywild. I was there. It's real and it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. The last thing I remember was this glen, just existing in a perfect eternal stillness, just like the moment where the sun is just kissing the edge of the horizon and the golden, surreal golden light was filtering through the trees and it was so profound. So that's kind of where I kind of am.

MARISHA: Where you got your name?

ERIKA: Yeah.

MARISHA: It's a very beautiful name.

ERIKA: A smart one.

LIAM: Is anything paying us any mind as we walk through town?

MATT: Honestly, now that the violence has ended, most folks are just going about their business.

TALIESIN: I'm going to walk over. You know anybody in the All-Minds-Burn? I'm going to look in their eyes and see if they're high.

MATT and TALIESIN: (laughs)

TRAVIS: The All-Minds-Burn?

MATT: Make an insight check.

TALIESIN: Yeah, the All-Minds-Burn.

ERIKA: Oh, you mean those guys that have the (puffs) you know?

TALIESIN: I can't tell anything.

ERIKA: No, I'm not into that kind of stuff. Things are already fucky enough as it is. (laughter)

TALIESIN: I'm going to look at sword. That thing special?

ERIKA: To me, yeah. It's like the only thing, one of the few sort of things that I still sort of get. I'm definitely, definitely a capable warrior, definitely good, I don't know, like I definitely don't have family or anything around--

LIAM: You're on your own here?

ERIKA: Hmm?

LIAM: You're on your own here? Sorry, I'm really short.

ERIKA: Yes.

LIAM: Hi.

ERIKA: Oh, hello! Yes, you're all--

LIAM: Sorry, right, hi, I'm Orym.

ERIKA: Orym.

LIAM: Nice to meet you.

ERIKA: Nice to meet you, okay. All right.

TALIESIN: Ashton.

ERIKA: Ashton. Pleasure.

LAURA: Imogen, I'm bald.

ERIKA: It's a good look. You have a very comely shaped head.

LAURA: Thanks.

ASHLEY: Very round.

MATT: Fearne is not present.

ASHLEY: Oh, that's right.

SAM: You went in the tent.

LAURA: We're with you. Oh, you went in the tent.

MATT: We'll get to you in a second.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LAURA: I'm literally sitting on the ground, surrounded by hair right now. I'm just trying to gather it back.

ERIKA: Yeah, hey...

LIAM: I step to help her pick up.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'll go over and help with that, too.

ERIKA: I don't know, maybe those would, Prestidigitation? Could I prestidigitate it into a wig or something?

TALIESIN: I don't know.

MATT: If you would like to try, I could make you roll an arcana check.

ERIKA: Okay.

TALIESIN: If you end up looking like one of the Misfits from Jem and the Holograms, I'll be so jealous.

LAURA and ASHLEY: Oh no.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

TALIESIN: It's going to be a toupee. It's just a toupee.

ERIKA: 12.

MATT: So, utilizing the very, you know, viably diverse abilities within Prestidigitation, this is a unique usage of it, and you understand it enough to accomplish what you set out to do. Now, this is less upper scale, you know--

ERIKA: It's not lace front.

MATT: Yeah, not lace front, Hollywood Boulevard, drag queen ready wig. This is some Target Halloween aisle Imogen wig.

LAURA: Oh, well, that's... What a pretty wig you made. Thank you.

ERIKA: I am so glad you like it.

LAURA: I really do. Thank you so much.

ERIKA: Awesome.

TRAVIS: (deeply) If you put the wig on and then the hat.

LAURA: Oh, that's true a lot of times, okay.

TRAVIS: (deeply) Same effect.

TALIESIN: That's actually, that's a look.

MARISHA: You look like Jay from "Jay and Silent Bob."

MATT: In the meantime.

ERIKA: Hi, hello!

TRAVIS: (deeply) Hello.

ERIKA: I'm Dusk.

TRAVIS: (deeply) Hi, Dusk. My name is Wolfgang. (laughter)

ERIKA: Wolfgang?

SAM: What? You have a wolf name?

TALIESIN: It's news to me.

TRAVIS: (deeply) What? No. My name is--

MARISHA: This is a new development, Chetney.

TRAVIS: (deeply) My name is Chetney.

ERIKA: Well, they're both good names.

TRAVIS: (deeply) Thanks. (cracks) Eurgh. (sighs) Hi, I'm Chetney Pock O'Pea, nice to meet you.

ERIKA: It's a pleasure. Thank you so much for coming to my aid.

TRAVIS: Of course!

ERIKA: Yeah, yeah. Thank you, he is fully double bent. Yeah.

LIAM: How tall is-- I'm sorry.

MARISHA: I'm Laudna.

ERIKA: Lovely to meet you, Laudna.

MARISHA: Pleasure. You notice her hands are really, unnaturally cold.

ERIKA: The pleasure is all--

MARISHA: A little clammy, too.

ERIKA: Hey, cold hands, warm heart. The pleasure is all mine.

TALIESIN: It's not that warm.

SAM: Hi, I'm Fresh Cut Grass. It's a pleasure to meet--

ERIKA: That's one of my favorite smells.

SAM: Mine, too! Well, that's not true; I can't smell, but my creator could. Do you want me to heal you up a little bit?

ERIKA: I would really like that.

SAM: All right, I'll just touch your gaping wound and cast Cure Wounds on it.

ERIKA: Oh, thank you! There's definitely like--

TALIESIN: Bzzt! Bzzt!

LAURA: Have you dealt with those fighters before? Have they attacked you, or is this the first time--

SAM: 11 points.

LAURA: -- you've encountered them?

ERIKA: It is my first time encountering them, but that's very normal here.

LIAM: You just got jumped.

ERIKA: Everybody is always attacking everybody, and as long as you don't falsely advertise, the guards aren't going to do anything about that, you know?

SAM: You mean the guards as in, okay.

ERIKA: Sorry, yeah, what?

SAM: No, nothing, nothing.

ERIKA: What?

SAM: Were you going somewhere? Were you trying to get to something?

ERIKA: Yeah, I was just trying to live my life here.

SAM: Oh, just walking around?

ERIKA: Yeah, just walking around.

SAM: But are you seeking something specifically, or? Because you seemed very emotionally open and honest and everything.

ERIKA: Yeah.

SAM: Is there something that we can help you with?

ERIKA: Should I not be? Is that a thing people don't do?

SAM: But it's fine. No, I think it's very healthy.

ERIKA: Feelings talks are good, right?

SAM: It's fantastic. It's just most people aren't like that. They're very closed off and insecure, and you just seem very open about yourself and your past.

ERIKA: I mean, yeah. Maybe if I'm more open about it, then people could help figure things out with me.

SAM: That's true. We could all be a little bit more open with ourselves. I'm just looking at all of us.

ERIKA: This is a really bad place to be like that, though, I will admit. That being said, I found you, and you seem like really lovely people.

TRAVIS: Yeah, and we saw you, I mean, you jumped to the top of that building, that was amazing.

ERIKA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: So maybe we can help look out for each other. We're new in town.

ERIKA: Oh man, yeah.

TRAVIS: I mean, we have someone that's been here before, but maybe it's been a minute.

ERIKA: Have you been to Taste of Tal'Dorei? (laughter)

TRAVIS: Holy shit.

TALIESIN: Not in a long time.

ERIKA: Oh man, they change the menu up pretty regularly.

SAM: New managers?

LIAM: I mean, this keeps coming up. It feels like a sign.

MARISHA: We're actually heading that way.

ERIKA: Really?

MARISHA: Yes.

ERIKA: Can I come?

LAURA: Oh, speaking of--

MATT: In the interim--

SAM: Oh shit, the orb.

TRAVIS: Where's Fearne?

MATT: In the interim.

LIAM: We're cutting to Fearne.

MATT: Fearne.

ASHLEY: Before hopping into the tent, I'm going to walk by the guy that has his cloak.

MATT: He's passed out.

ASHLEY: Oh.

MATT: He got spooked so hard that he's hanging from the dagger now.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah, just relaxed.

MATT: Damp pants, the whole deal.

ASHLEY: I'm going to walk into the tent.

MATT: Okay, you walk into the tent. The first thing that catches you is a very unique smell, it's like a burnt rubber tree sap meets an odd, medicinal-herbal scent, and you walk in, and there looks to be some baskets that have some grains on them. There is a saber of some kind set on a chair, and in the middle of the room there's a pillow set up, and there is an old, old woman who's sitting cross-legged, holding a bowl in her lap with this hot steam rolling off of it who is holding it underneath, and looks up at you. You can see her, she has this smile with one singular tooth that pokes beyond these dark spotted gums, heavily wrinkled face, and slightly cataracted eyes, head wrapped in a baggy, thick, heavy cloth, like a heavy beret that leans to the back of her head, and she sits there and looks up at you. "Oh, excuse me."

ASHLEY: Oh, is this where you live?

MATT: "I'm having lunch."

ASHLEY: Oh, what are you eating?

MATT: "Oh, well, I've already ate it, now I'm just having my after lunch."

ASHLEY: What's your after lunch?

MATT: "Smell." She holds out the bowl.

ASHLEY: Oh, well, hold on just a minute, is that what I smelled when I walked in?

MATT: It's very strong, and it does come from that, and as you look at it, it almost looks like food at first glance, but as she leans forward, there is some sort of a crystalline sort of substance that is burning and giving off a smoke that's filling the chamber.

ASHLEY: Oh.

SAM: Nice. Yeah, man.

LAURA: You have to.

ASHLEY: (loud sniff)

MATT: You going to take a big whiff?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: Make a wisdom saving throw.

ASHLEY: Okay. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Body snatch.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LIAM: Come to the Midsommar tent.

ASHLEY: Oh wow.

TALIESIN: Oh no.

ERIKA: Good for her.

ASHLEY: 21.

MATT: 21.

ASHLEY: Wait, I have advantage against spells and other magical effects.

LIAM: Embarrassing.

MATT: Correct.

ASHLEY: Could this be--?

MATT: Don't even worry about it for this, you rolled really high. So the sense is that the smell catches you, and your senses begin to immediately numb for second, the dark shadows that are coming in from the outside warp slightly, and her kindly old woman face seems to de-age within a moment, but you've seen weird stuff in the Fey, and this is just a fun thing and you shake it off, and while the visuals remain with you, it doesn't seem to radically alter your perception or sense of self in the space. Just a little buzzed.

ASHLEY: What do you do here? Are you doing a little business?

MATT: "I just found this tent and ducked away to have my lunch."

ASHLEY: Oh, you just came in here to just hang out?

MATT: "I don't know whose this is."

ASHLEY: Is this your saber? Because I think I left it in here.

MATT: "Oh, then you should take it."

ASHLEY: Yeah, I will. What else did I leave in here? I'm going to investigate the room and see if there's anything.

MATT: Make an investigation check.

TRAVIS and MARISHA: "What else did I leave in here?"

MARISHA: Amazing.

TALIESIN: Oh my god.

ASHLEY: I have bad investigation. 11.

MATT: 11. You do find an unspoiled bag of rice.

ASHLEY: There's my rice. (laughter)

MATT: You find a nice pair of dupioni silk blue pants. (oohing)

ASHLEY: Woo.

ERIKA: What size are they?

MATT: They're a bit baggy. They're a bit large for you.

ASHLEY: I can make it work.

MATT: And a box of candles.

ASHLEY: Okay, I'll take those as well.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: What was your name?

MATT: You watch her desperately search for something.

TRAVIS: Oh boy.

MATT: "It started with a D?"

ASHLEY: Darlene?

MATT: "Probably."

ASHLEY: Dancy?

MATT: "Darlene Dancy."

ASHLEY: Okay, you're so funny.

MATT: "Hee hee hee."

ASHLEY: Are you affected by the smoke that you're putting in the room, or?

MATT: "Yes."

ASHLEY: Yeah. You're just having a good time, good lunchtime.

MATT: "Just passing the time here in hell."

ASHLEY: Oh. Oh. Well, that's a little strange.

MATT: "It's the Hellcatch Valley."

ASHLEY: Oh, that's right, just shortened it so it sounded--

MATT: "Also, it's a hell."

ASHLEY: -- like another place. I'm going to open the curtains of the tent. Um, um... I'm going to leave. I'll let you finish your food, Darlene--

MATT: "All right--"

ASHLEY: -- Dancy.

MATT: "I already finished it..." as you close the tent behind.

MARISHA: Fearne, we were about to look at the--

MATT: Looking at Laudna, her face is kind of like whoa.

ASHLEY: Oh, whoa.

MARISHA: They were talking about going to A Taste of Tal'Dorei with our new friend, Dusk.

ERIKA: Hi. I'm Dusk.

ASHLEY: Oh, Dusk. Hello, I'm Fearne.

ERIKA: It's lovely to meet you, Fearne.

MATT: A little flaming money crawls upon her shoulder, looks at you and goes "(growls)."

ERIKA: I like your monkey.

ASHLEY: Thank you. This is Mister.

ERIKA: Mister.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

ERIKA: Nice to meet you, I'm Dusk.

MATT: "(screech)"

ASHLEY: Shake her--

SAM: Oh...

ASHLEY: (sternly) Shake her hand.

MATT: "(whimpers)"

ERIKA: Maybe, you don't have to if you don't want to, all right, Mister, okay.

MATT: It kind of singes your hand, just contact. It's like (sizzles).

ERIKA: Ah! Okay.

ASHLEY: It's got a little kick.

MATT: Just pees on the ground and goes back onto her shoulder.

ASHLEY: That's okay. He's only seven.

ERIKA: Does that mean he likes me? Yeah, he's just a kid, you know. I'm just a single mother, so. (laughter)

ERIKA: Just making it happen on your own like that?

ASHLEY: Pretty much, I mean--

ERIKA: Good thing you got a whole good community--

ASHLEY: Absolutely, yes.

ERIKA: -- to help you raise him.

ASHLEY: Yes. You were very impressive out there.

ERIKA: Oh.

ASHLEY: Just--

ERIKA: No, thanks, I appreciate that. I'm, you know, actually a lot cooler than that, I'm, you know, actually a lot cooler than that, but just things are a little fucky-wucky still.

ASHLEY: Sure, I--

MARISHA: They said that they've been to the Feywild.

ASHLEY: Oh!

MARISHA: So you guys should totally--

ERIKA and LAURA: It's real.

MARISHA: Talk about these things.

ASHLEY: It's absolutely real. That's where I'm from.

MARISHA: Yes.

ERIKA: Wait, what.

ASHLEY: Yes, I live there with my grandmother.

ERIKA: Oh my god.

ASHLEY: Where did you go? What did you see?

ERIKA: I don't know, but I call myself Dusk because the last thing I remember is just this incredible gloaming--

ASHLEY: The most gorgeous--

ERIKA: -- glen, yeah.

ASHLEY: Oh, was there a river?

LAURA: (laughs)

ERIKA: Yeah, definitely. I mean, there's lots of rivers there.

ASHLEY: I'm sure there's lots of rivers, I'm sure there's lots of rivers.

ERIKA: But yeah, there was a river. It was babbling and--

ASHLEY: (gasps) What if you were in my glen?

ERIKA: You have a glen?

ASHLEY: No, I mean, it's not mine, but just near mine.

ERIKA: You have a glen, though?

ASHLEY: Well, yeah.

MARISHA: I once knew a Glen.

ASHLEY: You did?

MARISHA: Yeah. He was a leatherworker.

ASHLEY: Did you date?

MARISHA: No, no, I robbed from him to survive. He didn't know I existed. (laughter)

ERIKA: Girl's got to do what she can to get by.

ASHLEY: Yeah, sometimes you got to shake a little tail.

MATT: Indeed, it's still glowing and present in the direction from before.

ASHLEY: Oh yeah, I'll think about this. More on that later.

ERIKA: Sorry to-- I'm a little bit of a-- It's the only place that still feels real to me, and I just, there's-- I want to go back so bad.

ASHLEY: I do, too, sometimes. Maybe, maybe, maybe we'll go back soon.

ERIKA: I would really like that.

ASHLEY: Wow, a little taste of home.

LIAM: This is a really awesome conversation for the Taste of Tal'Dorei.

ASHLEY: Yes, let's go.

TALIESIN: I was just thinking I'm half dead and if I'm going to be half dead, I feel like Taste of Tal'Dorei will only work for me when I'm literally half dead.

ERIKA: It's the coolest place ever. I know, I understand it's probably rife with historical inaccuracy, but still, it's the whole vibe of the place. It's what we wish that it could be like, I think, right?

LIAM: I'm very curious.

TRAVIS: Is there a dress code? Because we're kind of fucked up.

ERIKA: No, I mean, it's kind of fun if you dress up in the theme and stuff, and wear you know, the outlandish wear that they used to wear back in the day.

TRAVIS: Back in Tal'Dorei?

ERIKA: Yeah.

LIAM: In costumes?

ERIKA: Yeah, there's a gift shop there so you can rent stuff.

ASHLEY: I'm definitely hungry, I got in that tent and got a little high, so I'm hungry. (laughter)

SAM: Let's go.

TRAVIS: How far away is it?

LAURA: Just making, ah, okay.

SAM: Because we still got eyes on the prize.

MARISHA: As we walk, are we moving in the direction that it's pointing?

MATT: It begins to point a little further westward, but not terribly away from the direction you're traveling.

TALIESIN: I need a minute. We might as well get food.

ERIKA: Okay.

MARISHA: All right.

ASHLEY: Are you okay?

SAM: It is pointing in a different direction because we're moving, not because it's--

MATT: Exactly.

ASHLEY: Oh boy.

MATT: It's just slowly--

LAURA: You just keep getting more and more fucked up.

MATT: -- as you continue heading southward.

TALIESIN: It'll come back together. I just need to sit and drink and eat.

ASHLEY: I'm going to cast Cure Wounds on you.

TALIESIN: I mean, we can just, okay, I'll take it.

MARISHA: This is why we're here. That's a person! Well, not a person, but--

ERIKA: Inside the--

MARISHA: No, not literally.

ERIKA: A little global--

MARISHA: It's more like-- It's like a tracker, and we're tracking them.

ASHLEY: 16.

ERIKA: Why?

TALIESIN: Wow.

MARISHA: Oh, because they're corrupt and murderous and they were trying to torment the town.

ERIKA: So why are you going towards them?

MARISHA: Oh, to-- Not to murder him, but to capture him.

ERIKA: Oh.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we're on a hunt.

MARISHA: Yeah!

TALIESIN: Bringing an outlaw to justice. Ow.

TRAVIS: Yeah, dead or alive.

ERIKA: Really? That's kind of sexy.

MATT: As you exit the--

LIAM: Keep it under your hat.

MATT: As you exit the alleyway to being heading on your trek stepping towards the Taste of Tal'Dorei within the city, you hear the sounds of rustling back from where you were. You glance over and see other figures have darted into the alley and are currently rifling and stealing from whatever remains from those you left behind. But you know, your group, jovial in the aftermath of this quick scuffle and a much needed friendly face here, in for what is, for many of you, a foreign, not terribly welcoming city, we'll see what conversations and mysteries await for us when we come back, as I'm going to close us there.

ERIKA: Why! (groaning)

TRAVIS: ♪ Going to the restaurant, ♪ Taste of Tal'Dorei. ♪

MATT: Yep.

LIAM: I want A Taste of Tal'Dorei.

MATT: We'll come to that next session because it's getting a little late and we need to get home because I have an early morning.

ASHLEY: Oh man.

MATT: But first off, Erika, so excited to have you join us at the table. (cheering, clapping)

ERIKA: Thank you guys so much.

ASHLEY: Our baby!

TRAVIS: Yes!

ERIKA: I'm here.

TRAVIS: What's up with her memory?

MARISHA: I know, you can't remember shit.

TALIESIN: I have a lot of questions.

LAURA: What did they do to you?

TALIESIN: So many questions.

MATT: Excited to continue this thread and the rest of the chaos that Bassuras has to offer. We will be taking a break, to remind you--

LAURA: Oh crud.

MATT: Yep, for the next--

MARISHA: The Calamity!

TALIESIN: Oh yeah.

MATT: Yep, the next month or so is going to be Calamity on Thursdays.

LAURA: I totally would've had conversations if I'd known we would be on that much of a break. I forgot.

MATT: That's okay. That's also why I didn't jump into too much right now, because it would just be a lot.

ASHLEY: There were so many secrets we were going to tell.

ERIKA: Everybody, remember exactly what we were doing and what we were going to talk about.

TRAVIS: Right.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

ERIKA: We'll meet you back here in like a month.

MATT: A month, I think, yeah, three weeks. Three or four weeks, I don't know. But yes, anyway,

ERIKA: Like a year because I will--

MATT: We'll miss you guys in the interim. Super excited to pick up from here and have Erika along with us for a bit. In the interim, give all our love to the amazing GM Brennan Lee Mulligan, who is-- (cheering)

ERIKA: Incredible!

MATT: Incredible, and is crafting a tale in the space of Tal'Dorei history that I've been so excited to see brought to life with an amazing cast. Check it out every Thursday, 7:00pm Pacific here, and I hope you enjoy it and we'll see you back here shortly. (cheering)

MATT: In the interim, we love you very much, and is it Thursday yet? Good night.

LIAM: Taste of Tal'Dorei!