Transcript:Narrative Telephone

Matt's Story
Pumat's Tale (Narrative Telephone 2020-04-06)

'Twas chilled that foggy morning, as enchanter Pumat wandered the wood in search of fine mushrooms to flavor his food. He plucked a fine fungus when a guttural growl caught his ears, a feral wolf stalking from the shadows. To his surprise, the beast did speak: "'Tis I, the lonely Wildred, and you, my meal."

Pumat recoiled, reaching into his pouch of plenty. "Though wandered I am, friend Wildred, I fear a poor meal would I make. For this humble Pumat is tough on teeth and filled with muscle."

The simple firbolg's bulging form took hold of the hunter wolf and wrestled powerfully they did across the trees and brooks until an evening's mushroom stew took on a unique, lupine flavor.

Laura's Story
Jester's Tall Tale (Narrative Telephone 2020-04-28)

Oh hi, it's me, Jester. So sometimes when I was little, I wouldn't be able to sleep and momma would be working and the Traveler would come visit me and he would tell me bedtime stories. And one time, he said, "Jester, what brings sweeter dreams than the promise of a little treasure? Lay back and let me tell you about how to find Picador's Plum."

And he told me that across the sea there's this big beautiful city ruled by a secret dragon (whatever that means). And from there you have to go four days north. On dusk on the fourth day, you will come across a grove of trees, which you know is pretty special in and of itself being in the middle of a desert, but one of the trees in this grove grows an especial Elysium fruit. Now you have to pick this fruit, but don't eat it! If you eat it you'll be doomed to like stay in the grove forever or whatever. And then, from there you head four days to the northwest and you'll come across a boulder the size of a hut. No. The shape of a hut. Yeah, that's what it was. And underneath the boulder lives a hippogriff named Okana. Now you give her this Elysium fruit, and she will become entranced with love for you. Now after she does that, you have to sing her a beautiful song that goes [sings]. Those notes exactly. And then she'll allow you to get on her back and she will fly to this cave of wonders where you will find the magical treasure.

Now, the Traveler never told me what Picador's Plum was, but I think it's got to be pretty amazing, you know, like maybe a dog in a dress that does a little dance? I'm not sure. But I'm excited to find out.

Sam's Story
Scanlan's Love Story (Narrative Telephone 2020-05-12)

Scanlan Shorthalt here with a tale for the ages.

Paulay was a poor delivery boy in love with a rich woman named Sudara, her hair the color of daffodil, her eyes deeper than the Lucidian. She had many suitors, but Paulay knew if he could win his fortune, she would notice him. One day he invented something amazing: silver rimmed glasses -- pince-nez with an ivory inset. These spectacles had the magical ability to see through solid objects. He put the glasses on at a poker hall and could see through everyone else's cards. That night he won a beautiful pewter ring which he presented to Sudara the next day. She loved it. At a carnival, he won the shell game twnety-two times and won himself a puppy, which he also gave to Sudara. She was so impressed that she agreed to marry him as long as he kept bringing her gifts.

Paulay skipped to work the next day. He was excited, but he was asked to deliver a letter from the evil goliath ruler, Prince Rotzi, and coincidentally, it was to Sudara. Curious, he used his magic spectacles to see through the envelope, but was shocked to read, "Has that idiot given you any more gifts? If so, bring them to our tryst tonight at the palace. Your lover, Rotzi."

Alas the moral of the story seems to be: (sings)
 * There once was a poor man named Paulay
 * Who invented a magical pince-nez.
 * It found him love, riches, and glee,
 * But when you look too close, you might not like what you see.