Transcript:Enter Vasselheim

List of Transcripts

Pre-Show
MATT: Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to this evening's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy voice actors sit around a table and play Dungeons & Dragons. If you are returning, welcome back. For those who it's their first time watching us live on the stream, welcome to the chaos. So, before I begin, a couple of quick notifications I want to give you guys. We had our first subscriber giveaway hit before the show started at 4,200. It was LL1973. Turn the mic around. Oh, now you can hear me. Look at this! The magic of live. Live communication. You have a wonderful view of this fantastic midsection. It's delightful. There we go. Is that better?

ZAC: Yep.

MATT: Velcome. So, welcome to Critical Role, for those who didn't hear me before. D&D, voice actors, you know the drill now. So our first giveaway already happened tonight for the subscriber count at 4,200 to LL1973. Congratulations. You're going to be winning a signed Player's Handbook of Dungeons & Dragons Fifth Edition, as well as a signed photo of the Critical Role cast. Our next one will be at 4,250, so, up to every fifty subscribers after that we will be giving away an additional Player's Handbook and photo signed by the cast. Awesome times.

(cheering)

MARISHA: Awesome times?

MATT: Indeed, very awesome times.

MARISHA: Good times, good time together.

MATT: I think so, indeed. Also, as a heads-up to you guys, there will be no Critical Role next week because the San Diego Comic-Con is happening. Down in San Diego.

MARISHA: We're doing a panel, aren't we?

MATT: I know, we have a panel, though. We have a panel Thursday, I'll be on the main Geek and Sundry panel with Laura at 1-2 and then we have our actual full Critical Role panel from 4-5. So if you are going to be there, come see us at PetCo Park on Thursday.

LAURA: You don't need a badge.

MATT: Nope, you can just come and walk on in.

MARISHA: Yeah, it is at PetCo Park, so don't get lost looking around the convention center. Because it won't be there. It's at PetCo Park. MATT: It's the big sports stadium, which to me is a wonderful irony of us giving a panel about Dungeons & Dragons in the center of a giant sports stadium. That's right! Indoor kids. However, however, they are also filming the panel for those who can't be there. The panel will be on the stream the following day, I believe, so check it out there, after, with the rest of the Comic-Con stream coverage. It'll be fun. Yeah, so that'll be good. The week after that, me and Marisha are going to be out of town in New Zealand, so this means a two-week period without Critical Role main-story stuff, and I apologize, this is all stuff that got planned before the stream even started. We'll be at a convention in New Zealand. For those out there planning to come to Armageddon, please come see us, we'll be down there. It'll be fun for all New Zealand fans. Otherwise, the rest of the Critical Role cast that are available will be here and will play some other sort of game together and generally interact with the chat and have a good time until we return. So.

MARISHA: We're working it out.

MATT: Yeah, we're getting the circumstance ironed out.

MARISHA AND ORION: Hi, Liam!

MATT: We have Liam on Skype over here.

LIAM: Hi, guys.

MATT: What's up, buddy?

LIAM: Hi!

MATT: Liam, who's finishing up his vacation as well. As far as I understand, we have a–

MARISHA: How's New Jersey?

LIAM: I am deep in upstate New York on the Canadian border.

MATT: Slowly migrating into expatriotism. Don't go Canadian on us.

LIAM: It's frightening to drive here at night. I can't wait to do it at two in the morning.

LAURA: Yay.

MATT: Yes.

ASHLEY: I'm drinking out of your mug.

MATT: She is.

LIAM: My mug? Here's mine.

MATT: On river time, there you go.

MARISHA: On river time, what?

MATT: That is– that's a mug.

MARISHA: Did you instantly turn into a 64-year-old golfer as soon as you went there?

LIAM: I'm on a river. I'm on a river.

LAURA: I'm on a boat. I'm on a boat.

MATT: So that's going on. Other things we want to mention. We'll have a special presentation at the break today. We're taking a break from the 826LA charity for another special charity that has been running for the past week known as GameChanger: it's a cancer charity and it's been working in conjunction with SquareEnix this past week. To raise money for cancer research, they've been doing– if you donate $1 to it they're giving away codes for the first Deus Ex game for PC and a lot of other fun stuff. We'll have more information and a presentation for you at the break. So be aware that's the fun charity we're promoting tonight, so if anyone has the ability to give, please do, they're an awesome charity. We're also waiting on Sam Riegel and Taliesin Jaffe, they're both fighting traffic but will be here shortly. However, let's go ahead and cut to the intro to give us a one-minute break, and then we'll jump right into this crazy, crazy episode. So see you in just a moment.

[no audio]

Well, while we get that figured out–

ORION: Oh, is this a podcast now?

MATT: Apparently.

ORION: (old-timey voice) Old time radio.

MARISHA: Well, I think the intro–

MATT: Intro video's frozen.

ORION: Damn it.

MATT: Also, this is, as opposed to making it a surprise, this'll be our last game for a little while with–

LAURA: No, don't say it, don't say it yet.

MATT: Don't say it– okay.

TRAVIS: If you say it, it makes it true.

MARISHA: Makes it too real.

MATT: Okay, you're right.

ORION: Ooh.

MATT: I'll hold off, all right.

LIAM: Unfortunately, Travis has to leave the show.

MATT: No, that's not true. Grog's ale still needs to be filled.

TRAVIS: Smash.

MATT: Indeed. So we'll patiently wait, folks, pizza at the ready. Now.

MARISHA: What's going on?

LIAM: Is there a full table behind this computer?

LAURA: Pretty much.

MATT: There is, yes.

LAURA: Travis is directly behind you.

LIAM: Am I in his chest again?

LAURA: Yeah, you might be even in his face at this point.

ORION: It's pretty good, though, I like this better than the iPad.

MARISHA: And we can see you more.

LAURA: Can you still see Travis?

MARISHA AND ORION: Yeah.

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: It'll be fine.

ORION: How can we not see him?

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs)

LAURA: That's true.

ORION: He's a mountain of man.

TRAVIS: I am Rushmore.

MARISHA: Travis takes up this side of the frame.

ORION: I'm Rushmore.

MATT: If we're having an issue with the intro video, do you want to just go to the game?

TRAVIS: We can do a live intro video.

ALL: (intro video music)

MATT: Grog! Goliath Barbarian.

MARISHA: (crow sound)

(laughter)

MATT: – and we're done.

TRAVIS: I'd been thinking that this had to happen at some point.

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: Boomf! I was being you, Tiberius.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: We could totally do a Brady Bunch.

MARISHA: Ah ha!

LAURA: Light!

MATT: That was pretty good.

TRAVIS: You guys are on the bottom of the feed, right?

ORION: Right.

TRAVIS: So if you looked up and we looked down, we'd essentially be looking at each other.

MARISHA: Oh right, Brady Bunch style!

LAURA: (gasps) Oh, no way.

TRAVIS: Oh, hi guys.

MARISHA: Hi, Travis.

ORION: Is that how it looks?

TRAVIS: And then everyone looks to the right to look at Mercer.

LAURA: No, yeah, everyone looks to the same–

TRAVIS: Oh, we look right, you look left.

TRAVIS AND MATT: No.

MATT: They look right. Everyone looks right.

MARISHA: Everyone looks right? So if we're looking this way, “Hi, Matt!”

MATT: And I disapprovingly look to my left. There you go.

ASHLEY: Are we still on?

MARISHA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Still going?

MATT: Real-time Critical Role.

MARISHA: We're still kind of confused.

LAURA: I can't tell what happening.

MATT: So I figure if the intro video's not working, let's not worry about it. Let's just jump into the game and get this started. How about that?

TRAVIS: Yeah, why not.

MATT: Cool with that?

ASHLEY: Wait, can we show someone that's here that's really cool?

MATT: What's up?

MARISHA: Go ahead and bring him on?

MATT: Oh, well, we're waiting on the break, unless you want to do it now.

ASHLEY: Do it on the break.

ORION: So we have video problems?

MARISHA: You can come say hi.

ORION: I'm Periscope-ing until we're not having video issues.

MATT: Well, as far as I know we're on camera.

ORION: Oh, we are?

CREW: Yeah.

MATT: Yeah, just the intro video's not working.

ORION: Okay.

MARISHA: Oh, we probably could have been going for a while. We've just been like dicking around.

ORION: Bye, guys, we're live.

MATT: Ah, welcome to the chaos of live internet. All right, so let's–

LIAM: I don't think we should go any more meta than it has to be.

Part I
MATT: Let's jump in, guys. Let's jump in. So a little bit of overview for those of you who are just joining us. At this point in the story, Vox Machina, this intrepid band of adventurers, misfits, whatever you must call them, completed an adventure through the Underdark, a very dangerous, cavernous–

LAURA: Oh, Sam's here.

MATT: Oh, we're gonna let Sam in.

MARISHA: Sam's here!

ORION: Yeah, he texted.

MATT: All right, so after completing this Underdark challenge, they discovered and managed to extract an evil artifact known as the Horn of Orcus that held great power and seemingly has a partner somewhere in the world that is unknown. But the one they have acquired is indestructible, as far as folks know, and it was decided by the Council of Tal'Dorei and Vox Machina that it should be sealed away and hopefully forgotten for the rest of eternity. The best place to do so came up in the conversation to be the city of Vasselheim, which is on a different continent far to the northwest of Tal'Dorei, the kingdom where most of the story as to this point has taken place, to be sealed in what is referred to as the Platinum Sanctuary, the oldest existing temple to Bahamut, the good platinum dragon deity. So they were given passage on a skyship to cross the Ozmit Sea to Othanzia, the continent that houses the capital city, Vasselheim. So the group gathered together, rode on to the magically elevated skyship, and are traversing the ocean carrying the Horn of Orcus within this holy container. Hello!

MARISHA: Hi, Sam.

MATT: Sam has joined us.

SAM: Hi!

MATT: They found themselves over the ocean, suddenly attacked by a band of what seemed to be wyvern- and griffin-riding bandits. The battle took place on the top of the skyship, some of the magic being taken out, a few lives lost, but the party managed to persevere, take a captive, and continue on their journey, the Horn of Orcus and its container kept safe. And that's where we pick up and begin.

SAM: Can you say all of that again for me?

(laughter)

TRAVIS: You don't listen, anyway.

MATT: No.

MARISHA: (laughs) You don't listen, anyway.

MATT: All righty, so as you guys have settled in, the Horn safe, you've taken a couple more days on this journey, what was told to be about a six-day journey across the ocean, six to seven days. Is there anything you guys wish to accomplish at this moment?

SAM: Are we in the air?

MATT: You are still in the air on the skyship.

SAM: Not much we can do.

MARISHA: Well, we just– so we fought off the wyverns.

SAM: Oh, do we have one? We have one.

TRAVIS: Is the little magician halfling still being polite and brushing her teeth and stuff?

LAURA: Oh, that's right, our little halfling that we–

TRAVIS: Who you saved. Wuss.

MATT: Yes.

SAM: She's a mage, right?

MATT: That you saved. She is a mage, and she has also been bound, at the orders of the captain, so as not to cause any issues on the ship while she's there. So as to her future, after your conversation with him, as to whether or not she could work on this ship, based on the fact that their first meeting involved her and her band attacking and trying to murder his entire crew, Captain Damon was not too keen on the idea at the time being and decided to lock her up.

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: So. We shall see her fate in the near future.

TRAVIS: She's locked up.

LAURA: Okay. She's locked up.

TRAVIS: She's got tricks, though, right?

MATT: She has tricks, but there is an anti-magic brig built into the ship specifically for this purpose.

SAM: Ooh. Fancy.

TRAVIS: That's all I needed to know.

LAURA: Oh, that's good to know. I was going to pay you to put the kibosh on her.

ORION: She's negged.

TRAVIS: Cool.

MATT: (laughs) So. I'll say that Percy is continuing to read his book. The next few days pass without incident. Is there anything you want to accomplish? Anything?

ORION: You said the next few days without incident? Cool.

TRAVIS: Could I try to further my beard?

SAM: Oh, yes! Try to grow a beard.

MARISHA: Yeah, his beard. Let's go for the beard.

MATT: Go ahead and roll another percentage dice.

TRAVIS: Yeah! It's a d20, right?

LAURA: It's a percentage die.

TRAVIS: Oh, that's right, that's right. The two in a row. I remember.

MATT: Two d10s.

TRAVIS: I'm learning. I'm learning.

MARISHA: Yep.

MATT: First one and the second one.

TRAVIS: Three. Eight.

MATT: 38. The little bit of peach-fuzz stubble on the chin of your goliath face begins to slowly grow. It's coming out colorless. It's almost translucent with a hint of gray and white.

SAM and LAURA: Ew.

TRAVIS: I'm a Targaryen, baby.

(laughter)

LIAM: That's hot.

LAURA: It's translucent, like–

MATT: A color is there. It's almost like fishing line is growing out of the bottom of his chin.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

SAM: Ugh.

ASHLEY: Whoa.

TRAVIS: Don't be jealous.

ASHLEY: Grog, it's sparkling. It's sparkling!

LAURA: It's really creepy, Grog.

ASHLEY: Hey, I feel it. It's like sandpaper, a little bit.

TRAVIS: Thank you. Thank you.

MATT: Keep in mind, goliaths, predominantly– especially pureblood goliaths– do not grow facial hair. The fact that this magical feat is even achieving any modicum of growth is in itself an arcane marvel, and who knows what detrimental effects this may have in the long run, going against your physiology.

TRAVIS: Oh, crap. It's all right. It'll make me look really wise, you guys. Nobody will know.

MARISHA: I have some beads. If you want, we can braid it and put beads in there.

LAURA: Ooh.

TRAVIS: I'm all about it. Beads and bells and shit?

MARISHA: Okay!

MARISHA: I braid Grog's beard.

TRAVIS: Give me a staff and I'll be Gandalf.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: And put beads in it. And a few flowers, as well.

TRAVIS: Wait! Ooh, weird.

MARISHA: It looks nice.

TRAVIS: All right.

MATT: It takes you a lot of concentration to try and get any sort of braidage through the about an inch to inch and a half facial hair that is growing from his chin.

MARISHA: Looks good!

TRAVIS: It's really tight when you braid it like that. It pinches.

MARISHA: You'll get used to it.

LAURA: Maybe you can cast Grasping Vine on his chin and grow it out.

MATT: What could possibly go wrong?

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Do it. Could be great.

ORION: I suggest against this.

TRAVIS: I thought you suggest violence.

ORION: No.

SAM: He encourages violence.

LAURA: I encourage violence.

ORION: I'm against this.

ASHLEY: Is it just violence?

LAURA: So we're healed. We're healed, right?

SAM: Oh, days have gone by, right?

MATT: Yeah, you guys have rested. Days have gone by, your spells have returned to you–

LIAM: Hey, DM, days have gone by?

LAURA: Trinket's feeling good.

MATT: Days have gone by at this time. You've continued traveling over the Ozmit Sea.

ORION: Are we nearing the destination?

MATT: I'll get to that in just a second. Do you have a question, Liam?

LIAM: No, not a question, but last night while Grog was sleeping– I can see right up Grog's nose. While Grog was sleeping, I went and got a bit of rope from the ship and used my disguise kit that I have. I sort of frayed a part of the rope and spent about an hour using spirit gum to glue bits of frayed rope to Grog's chin into a small Gilmore-esque goatee. And he didn't seem to wake up, and I'd like to see how that worked out.

MATT: (laughs) All righty.

TRAVIS: I'm gonna do a sleep check or something, right? I can't let him survive that.

MATT: For this, go ahead and make a perception check with disadvantage.

TRAVIS: With disadvantage?!

SAM: Because you're asleep!

TRAVIS: One.

(laughter)

ORION: Get it out now.

MATT: You wake up the following morning and immediately run to the nearest reflective surface to check on yourself, and you have a glorious, dark brown, well-braided, mildly frayed, thick, coarse goatee braid. It goes about a good three to four inches from the bottom of your chin. And you are very proud.

TRAVIS: I knew it! I knew it! I am a special boy.

(laughs)

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Only this one strand is this color and everything else is white and translucent, whatever–

ORION: I think it looks good on you, Grog.

TRAVIS: Thank you! I wave my head and it whips around.

ASHLEY: (sings) I whip my beard back and forth.

TRAVIS: (sings) I whip my beard back and forth.

MATT: It stays taut on your chin. All right, so as you reach the middle of the sixth day of travel, the sky, which up to this point had been fairly sunny and clear, begins to slowly cloud over. The weather grows more gray, and the clouds themselves seem to cluster more into– I wouldn't say a stormfront, but definitely a more gloomy atmosphere.

MARISHA: Can I do a nature check to see if this seems to be natural or arcane?

MATT: Certainly.

ORION: Nice.

LAURA: (sings) With her big fancy die!

MARISHA: Okay, that's a 10 plus– 20, total.

MATT: All right. Looking at these clouds, it is a slow formation, and they aren't moving at an unnecessary speed or seem to have any ominous press towards you. It just seems like the weather itself towards this northern continent seems to be of a colder variety.

ORION: I'm going to sense the weather, I suppose, because this doesn't look fun.

MATT: Okay. The weather is cold.

ORION: Ooh, it's cold.

TRAVIS: So the weather outside is frightful?

LAURA: Good call, Tiberius. Good call. I agree, it is rather cold.

ORION: I don't like this. Scanlan.

SAM: Oi?

ORION: Like we were discussing earlier, would you be interested in the still-standing trade of my Ioun Stone for your circlet-crown thingy?

SAM: Oh, you know what, Tiberius, I have been giving this a lot of thought and consideration. What's for lunch?

ORION: What would you like for lunch? I already ate.

SAM: Oh. No. No, I was done with the conversation.

TRAVIS: Oh, good diss.

LAURA AND ASHLEY: Oh.

ORION: Well. Keyleth, if you could put a little slate up for me, I'd like to illustrate something for little Scanlan. And perhaps his tiny mind can comprehend it. (clears throat)

LAURA: Ooh!

ASHLEY: Hey, that's rude.

ORION: Would you, perhaps, do this?

LAURA: His tiny mind is exactly proportionate for the rest of his body, Tiberius.

SAM: Well, not the entire body.

ORION: I'm going to walk up to the hull and be like–

MARISHA: No! Write it right here! I throw up a slate.

ORION: Oh. (clears throat)

MATT: Okay. It's the strangest wall you've constructed, as up in the air on the ship that is mostly constructed out of iron and metal, there is little to no stone available of which you can sprout a Wall of Stone. However, there are weights set up on top, so what you create is less of a smooth Wall of Stone and more of a very thin, brittle shale wall that may function for the time being, but probably won't stand up for more than five to ten minutes.

ORION: I see. Prestidigitation. Some chalk.

MATT: All right.

ORION: You see, Scanlan, you've had this particular piece for over ten, let's say, matches or weeks. You have used it zero times. In over six battles, over the same course, using it zero times.

(laughter)

ORION: I, being a sorcerer, have a special ability called sorcerer points, where I can do multiple spells in a single round.

SAM: Yes.

ORION: Which none of you can do. Other than monks, of course.

LAURA: That's true. Brag about it, Tiberius. Just keep bragging about it.

ORION: When I can do multiple spells, like two, versus you, who can do one, that means that I can do one more spell than you can per round.

(laughter)

SAM: All right.

ORION: And every round after that. One hundred percent.

(laughter)

SAM: This is amazing.

ORION: Your utilization of the actual item has been equivalent to nothing. In the interest of the group and the use of items in general, it would be wise to switch it, because you have needed extra spells like Invisibility–

MATT: The shale wall cracks.

(laughter)

ORION: Several times.

MARISHA: I'm sorry.

ORION: Where my item would be more useful in general to you.

LIAM: May I ask, is magical ability inversely proportionate to wisdom?

ORION: Oh, me?

SAM: Who are you asking?

ASHLEY: Is magical ability inversely proportionate to wisdom?

ORION: Absolutely not. I am one of the strongest casters in all of Draconia, and it only takes the strength of my charisma to do my stuff.

LAURA: Oh. Everything makes sense now, Tiberius.

TRAVIS: So are you saying you want what he has back?

SAM: (laughs) I didn't recognize you, Grog. Is that you?

TRAVIS: It is I, Brad Pitt from Legends of the Fall.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: My beard of glory.

ORION: That is a movie.

TRAVIS: It's an old bard's tale.

ORION: So, Scanlan. What say you?

SAM: Your mathematical skills have been quite impressive.

ORION: I don't like to show them off.

SAM: No, no. For a man of such low wisdom, you are proving wiser than I ever imagined.

(laughter)

SAM: I will gladly make this trade with you. You have convinced me.

LAURA: Hey.

MARISHA: Aww.

ORION: Oh, wonderful. Thank you.

SAM: Yes. Yes.

ASHLEY: Hey.

LAURA: That's wonderful.

SAM: All right. Hugs, hugs, hugs.

(laughter)

ORION: (explosion sound)

SAM: Now, what does this thing do?

ORION: Now you can store up to three level spells. Three of them in there.

LAURA: Oh, it's better than the Pearl of Power!

ORION: And you don't have to expend spell slots to do the spells.

SAM: All right. Thank you very much.

ASHLEY: Hey.

LAURA: That's a good trade.

TRAVIS: Oh my god, that was so good.

ASHLEY: That was amazing.

ORION: You can put three Lightning Bolts in there and it costs nothing.

ASHLEY: Oh, math!

SAM: All right, all right. I'm man enough to admit that he's convinced me.

TRAVIS: That was so good.

ASHLEY: That was awesome.

TRAVIS: I don't know what you wrote, but it looked good.

MARISHA: Oh, man.

ORION: I'm sorry.

MATT: The Ioun Stone which you had taken, you place by your head and release. It seems to fix itself in the air and slowly rotate above your head.

ORION: It orbits.

MATT: Almost held in its own orbital gravity around your head.

LAURA: Ooh.

SAM: Pike.

ASHLEY: Oh. (laughs) Oh, wow. It's like you have a halo.

ORION: It is fancy.

SAM: It's like a halo. Like your god has smiled on me, maybe, and said, “He's cool. Go for it.”

ASHLEY: Oh, wow. Well, I don't know if that's what it means.

SAM: Well. You know, religion is up to interpretation, so I interpret it that way.

ASHLEY: It is very cool-looking.

SAM: Thank you, Pike.

TRAVIS: (laughs) So casual, her god. “It's cool. Go for it.”

MATT: (laughs) Sarenrae. The she-bro you never had.

(laughter)

SAM: Sarenrae's my wingman.

ASHLEY: We cool, Sarenrae.

TRAVIS: I can't breathe.

MATT: Many a cart hold that bumper sticker. All right, so as this conversation comes to a close, the temperature in the sky has gotten noticeably chillier. And you swear for an instant you start seeing what looks like specks of white snow beginning to drift from the clouds ahead.

MARISHA: (gasps) It's snowing.

LAURA: It's snow, Keyleth.

SAM: (sings) I'm dreaming of a white whatever-we-celebrate.

TRAVIS: Festivus!

ORION: Festivus.

MARISHA: There was something I should probably tell you. In this area of land, in Vasselheim, on this continent, somewhere, I'm not sure where, resides the Fire Ashari. Somewhere in the town of Pyrah.

LAURA: What's that?

ASHLEY: Ooh.

LAURA: What are Fire Ashari?

MARISHA: Well, they're my sister tribe. They're a part of my sister tribe. I come from the Air Ashari.

LAURA: Right.

TRAVIS: Uh-huh.

MARISHA: Yeah, from Zephrah.

ASHLEY: (whispers) Fire Ashari?

LAURA: So they– oh.

MARISHA: Yeah, so there are Fire Ashari. So the point behind the Ashari– I'm not sure I have expressed this to you all in the past few months. The point of our tribe is we sought out the weakest points where the elemental planes start to bleed with our plane of existence, and these planes need to be protected, so our people have sought them all out in order to make haven there and be the protectors that we were all born to be. And as part of my Aramente, I have to seek out each of the headmasters and prove myself a worthy leader.

TRAVIS: Ooh.

MARISHA: Which makes me really nervous.

LAURA: We've got your back, Keyleth.

ASHLEY: Oh, you'll do it. You'll totally do it.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Yeah, we can burn shit for days.

MARISHA: So I just thought, you know, maybe after we handle the Horn, maybe we can pop in. You know, since we're here.

LAURA: Totally. You know, if you want to, Keyleth, when we go, we'll all follow your orders and make it seem like you're an extraordinary leader of us.

TRAVIS: Ooh, yeah.

MARISHA: Oh. That could be good. Oh, that sounds fun!

ORION: Oh. Good idea, yes. Of course, I will be your mage guard.

TRAVIS: Do they make you burn things as a display of your abilities?

MARISHA: Well, they kind of teach me new things.

LAURA: Ooh!

MARISHA: They kind of instill me with their knowledge.

LAURA: So the tornado thing. You could be like a fire tornado?

MARISHA: I could. I know!

TRAVIS: Shut up!

MARISHA: I'm so excited! But yes. Super nervous, because social skills aren't my strongest suit.

LAURA: We've noticed.

TRAVIS: You're a natural. You're great.

LAURA: You're great, though. MARISHA: Oh, you guys.

ASHLEY: But it's very charming.

TRAVIS: We gotta go there. It's fire everywhere!

ORION: (laughs) Oh.

MARISHA: Yes. Yes.

LIAM: Is everything copacetic between the different tribes?

TRAVIS: Oh, good question.

MARISHA: What? What?

TRAVIS: Is it copacetic?

LAURA: Are you guys friendly with each other?

LIAM: Are they happy?

ORION: The tribes.

MARISHA: Well, yes. Yeah, no, we're all happy. I mean, that's kind of the thing, where once a generation someone sets out and goes on the Aramente in order to come back a headmaster, and it's kind of like our once-a-generation check-in, if you will, to make sure everything's okay.

TRAVIS: Exchange students.

MARISHA: Unfortunately, the last person to go on the Aramente didn't come back, which happens sometimes. Yeah.

TRAVIS: Like, didn't come back ever?

MARISHA: No.

LAURA: So, like, you could die?

ORION: Or maybe they got lost to the winds of the road.

TRAVIS: Right, yeah.

MARISHA: It was actually my mother.

ORION: Oh, goodness.

LAURA: (gasps) What?

TRAVIS: To which tribe?

MARISHA: I– we don't know. She left when I was a little girl, so I don't remember much. So I don't know if she's alive or dead, really, but–

LAURA: Keyleth.

TRAVIS: We did not know that.

MARISHA: It's okay. It's okay.

TRAVIS: Yeah, no bigs, right?

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Just your mother.

MARISHA: I mean, it's– I mean. Well. It's fine. It's just. It's weird. I haven't seen her, so I don't know.

SAM: Awkward.

MARISHA: I barely remember her.

TRAVIS: Do you think there's a chance of when we visit this place, we might have to defend ourselves?

MARISHA: No. No. I wouldn't think so.

ORION: Which means “of course.”

LAURA: It's not like your family, Grog. They're actually nice.

MARISHA: Yeah, we're pretty– we're cool.

TRAVIS: Look, my family is nice, too. We just share love with fists.

ORION: Understandable.

LAURA: That sounds wrong in so many ways.

TRAVIS: It does, actually.

LIAM: Keyleth, did your mother have to go alone, or does your tribe permit there to be help for you?

MARISHA: I'm assuming it would be okay. We're pretty welcoming.

LAURA: That's good.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we should totally be there.

LAURA: All right. We will go.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: And maybe ask them if they've seen your mom.

MARISHA: Yeah. That'd be interesting.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: It's weird. There's this part of me in the back of my head that kind of always wonders if I'm going to run into her.

TRAVIS: How old– when was the last time you saw your mother, or do you even remember?

MARISHA: I was five, six maybe, years old when she left.

TRAVIS: Wow.

MARISHA: So I'm the next in line.

LAURA: (whispers) Wow.

SAM: This is heavy.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

ASHLEY: This is very heavy.

MARISHA: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring the mood down.

SAM: No, it's fine. It's good to know this.

MARISHA: I'm just letting you know that we're going to be in that neck of the woods, so I should probably–

LAURA: Stop by.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MARISHA: – you know, go.

TRAVIS: Absolutely.

LAURA: Give a little hello.

MATT: “Land sighted!” A voice breaks out from the side of the ship's bow.

ORION: Ooh.

MATT: You guys glance over quickly to the edge of the skyship, and you see, right over the edge of Deera, what looks to be this ominous continent slowly approaching. Through the mists, the low clouds of this area, you can make out what looks to be a fairly heavily wooded and overgrown landscape. You can see dark forest peppered with a little bit of snowfall across the top.

LAURA: My kind of place.

MATT: Occasional mountaintops and peaks breaking through the canopy of the distant forest.

LAURA: Look, Trinket! Home.

MATT: Trinket looms up to the side and looks a bit chilly and shakes it off. At which point, Kima comes up and joins the rest of you. Puts her elbows over and looks off wistfully for a second and goes, (sighs) “It's been some time. Welcome to Othanzia, folks. It's an interesting place.”

TRAVIS: It is, isn't it?

LAURA: We'll follow your lead.

MATT: She points off, says, “This forest here we refer to as the Vesper Timberland, and it goes for miles and miles and miles before bleeding into endless tundra to the north, so let's hopefully not travel that far.” (sighs) “This'll be interesting.” And she turns around and heads back down into the ship. As you continue–

LAURA: Good talk!

MARISHA: Why did she say that? (laughs) I know!

ORION: Who was that person?

MARISHA: That was so weird, right?

ORION: Everywhere we go. It's everywhere we go. Why can't people be normal?

TRAVIS: She's warming up to me, I can feel it.

MATT: As the ship slowly begins to descend, you can see, in the distance, from one of the various mountain ranges that break past the top, there is one singular mountain spire that tends to protrude from the center of the forest, about 20 to 30 miles off the shoreline of the Ozmit Sea. Around the base of this mountain, you can see, the closer you get to it, what looks like hundreds upon hundreds of stone buildings. You can see little details along the mountainside. Countless staircases are spiraling up this mountain in different directions in a chaotic fashion. There are large structures, fortresses, built into the side of this mountain spire as you progress up the top. And this city proper, which spreads out, I'd say, about a third larger than Emon. Layers of walls and walls and walls. This is probably the most-fortified city you've seen in your existence up to this point. Slowly it begins to bring itself down towards– and you can see, as you get closer to the city, the walls vary in color and material. Some look recently built. Some look like they'd been constructed in the past 50 to 60 years or so from fine, smooth stone, using modern architectural techniques. Some walls look extremely ancient, partially crumbled and having to be refortified. You also notice the top of these walls are completely covered with what looks like these strange dragon-headed ballistae. These defense ballistae that are along every single row of walls. This is a city that is meant to withstand–

MARISHA: A siege.

MATT: – any sort of a siege or onslaught.

LAURA: Does it look like it's suffered a lot of sieges? I mean, is there battle damage to the–

MATT: It's hard to tell from this distance. You're just starting to pick up details as the ship slowly descends into the city of Vasselheim proper. But from what you can tell, there are scars across some of the larger buildings. Some of the walls look like they have sections that have been knocked down and then rebuilt and then knocked down and then rebuilt. This is a very, very old, old city. Slowly, the ship descends towards what looks like a smoothed-out, flattened platform on top of some mill of some kind. It doesn't look like it's built for skyship purposes, more than it's been haphazardly put together to receive a skyship should it come to the city. But it looks like that type of travel doesn't come to this area too often. At this point in time, you can see now, the crew is gathering their ropes, they're getting ready to go ahead and lower it down. Captain Damon is slowly steering and shouting directions back and forth to his deckhands. The Scalebearers and Kima come up to the top of the ship, carrying the box that contains the Horn of Orcus, as well. As the ship slowly makes its way to dock on the top of this mill, Kima, who has all of her materials over her shoulder, says, “All right, so. It's everyone's first time here in the city?”

SAM: Yes.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

SAM: Yeah, well. Keyleth?

ORION: I've never been here.

MARISHA: No.

SAM: Okay. Yes.

MATT: “All right.”

ORION: And there's enough in the interim for a short rest from us getting from there to the last day to where we're at?

MATT: Yeah, yeah.

TRAVIS: A day's rest? All right.

ORION: Okay, cool. Awesome.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Tiberius, you ever been here?

ORION: No.

(laughter)

LAURA: Is it cold in the city?

MATT: It's pretty chilly as you come down. I mean, you wear furs naturally in cold environments, but this is– the temperature's to the point where you may have to consider getting a little bit of warmer clothing if you travel too far outside of the city.

TRAVIS: How do goliaths do? Not wearing much.

LAURA: I have a lot of winter cloaks already in my–

SAM: We have some fancy cloaks, too, don't we?

LAURA: Well, those are fancy clothes.

SAM: Oh.

LAURA: But I've got winter coats that I bought for the group a long time ago.

SAM: All right. Pass them out.

LAURA: All right.

MATT: So she pulls out the really nice, thick–

MARISHA: Oh, that's right. We went shopping.

LAURA: Remember?

MARISHA: I remember.

ASHLEY: Oh, we went shopping.

TRAVIS: We have three other fancy robes.

ASHLEY: We had a girl shop day.

MARISHA: Yep.

SAM: A fancy. I want a fancy robe.

TRAVIS: You do? It's huge on you. You want it anyway.

ORION: I'd have to take off my cloak, though, to wear that, right?

MATT: Yeah.

ORION: I won't wear one. I keep my cloak on.

TRAVIS: I give you a colorful one.

SAM: I'll gird it.

MATT: We'll say you could probably put it over. It will just look a little chunky.

ORION: Okay.

SAM: I'm going to take a large fancy robe and try to tie it up– to gird it so that it looks okay.

LAURA: He wants a fancy robe, not a fur.

TRAVIS: Be aware, we only have two left.

SAM: I'm going to gird my loins.

MATT: And you gird them well. You look like the tiniest Turkish wrestler you've ever seen.

LAURA: Oh.

(laughter)

MATT: It's kind of adorable.

SAM: Also, I'm going to cast Lightning Bolt into the Ioun Stone.

ORION: Yay.

MATT: Okay. So mark that down, you have a third-level Lightning Bolt saved. You still used the spell slot, but after you rest, it'll be safe inside there. Which is an interesting experience, you see him do this arcane finger wiggle in the air, and then he releases what is a burst of electrical energy that immediately funnels itself and vanishes into the stone, which is now humming with this low pulsing glow of greenish-blue light.

SAM: (whispers) Pike, are you watching this?

ASHLEY: Wow, and you're–

LAURA: It's green? It's a green– wait, is it like a diamond shape?

SAM: I don't know.

LAURA: It's like a Sim!

MARISHA: Oh, it's like a Sims thing.

ORION: It's like a little–

LAURA: As long as it's green, you're happy, Scanlan!

ORION: But I believe it's white, right? It's a white stone?

MATT: It is a white stone, but the energy glowing off it is greenish in color.

ORION: Ah, there you go.

MARISHA: He's happy.

ASHLEY: And you're so well-girded.

SAM: I'm girded and I've got a shiny head.

MATT: Eventually the ship comes to a stop. You feel a little bit of a lurching sensation as the ship suddenly halts its advancing. All the ropes get dropped off the sides. They start bringing what looks to be some sort of a haphazard crane also, in preparation for Trinket to be lowered off the ship. You can see, there's a look of– I can't describe it better than anxiousness to Kima. She says, “If you have any questions about the city, just speak up and I'll do my best.”

LAURA: Where do we take the Horn?

SAM: (laughs) That's a good question.

(laughter)

MATT: “I believe–” And she looks over the edge of the ship. “I believe our escorts will be happy to guide us.”

LAURA: Our escorts?

LIAM: I'd like to do an insight check before we hustle off.

MATT: On?

TRAVIS: Kima.

LIAM: Kima.

MATT: Go for it.

ORION: I would like to look for any places– oh, sorry.

LIAM: I rolled an 18.

MATT: Okay, and what are you trying to glean off of her?

LIAM: Why does she seem anxious? Does she seem different? Does her demeanor seem different, or does she just seem in a hurry?

MATT: You can probably take it as a little bit of being in a hurry, but you also get the feeling like– there's a nervousness to her that stems– it's hard to really tell where it comes from, but there is a nervousness to her.

LAURA: Kima, when was the last time you were with your Order?

MATT: “Proper? That would be eight years.”

LAURA: Oh.

ORION: That's a long time to be out of Order.

MATT: “Of which– we are about to meet them.”

ORION: Sorry.

SAM: High five.

LAURA: Do you get along well with them?

MATT: “Yes. Yes. They're just, well.” (laughs) “You'll see.” And she leaps over the side of the ship, grabbing the rope, and lowers herself down, as do the rest of the– the two Scalebearers come down in tandem, clutching the chain on the sides of the box, bringing it down almost like a big Jacob's ladder.

TRAVIS: (quietly) I love you.

MATT: Eventually, you all make your way onto the platform, and they're waiting for you. You see there's a cluster of well-armored men and women, wearing semi-matching gray tabards over patchwork and plated armor. They look like a really rough-and-tumble militia, but they all stand firm and as you guys walk up, they give a nod of respect and understanding. Amongst them, you see one gentleman, an elderly gentleman with no hair, completely bald, thick spectacles on the tip of his nose, wearing the same silver and blue robes as the envoys that met you at the Council of Tal'Dorei, the ones that are carrying the box. As you all approach, Kima steps out ahead and says, “Yonn. It's been a while.”

SAM: Yonn.

MATT: The old man steps forward. “It has been, indeed, Kima. It has, indeed. And that's Scalebearer Yonn, if you don't mind–”

TRAVIS: Scalebearer.

MATT: “I would prefer in mixed company the proper niceties of our presentation.”

LAURA: Oh, we're no proper company. It's all right.

MATT: “Hm. And you are?”

SAM: We are–

ORION: I'm Tiberius Stormwind, and we are Vox Machina. Everybody has names, too.

LAURA: Hmm.

ASHLEY: I'm Pike.

MARISHA: Keyleth.

SAM: I'm Ioun Stone-bearer Scanlan.

(laughter)

MATT: He cocks his head curiously.

SAM: You can call me Kingslayer. I also did that.

MATT: “Very well.” Percy introduces himself, as well.

TRAVIS: I have a beard.

(laughter)

MATT: He gives you the most curious look of all, which is hard to follow off of Scanlan over here. “And I'm to understand these are the bearers of the artifact?” Kima gives a nod. “Yes, and I think we should be on our way quickly.” “Yes, yes, of course. Please. These are our escorts. Follow suit. We will bring you onward to the Platinum Sanctuary proper to dispose of this thing.”

SAM: How far is the Platinum Sanctuary?

MATT: “No more than a 25-minute walk.”

LAURA and SAM: Oh.

ASHLEY: May I insight-check Yonn?

MATT: You may.

LIAM: Yes, please.

MARISHA: Oh, so–

ORION: I'm going to look for any temples that might have a sigil inside while we're going through the town.

MATT: All right. Do you want to ask around about that?

ORION: I'll ask the Yonn guy.

MATT: Okay. Well, first off, you finish your insight check. What did you roll?

ASHLEY: What did you get, Liam?

LIAM: 13.

ASHLEY: Okay. I got 15.

MATT: Okay. He seems stuffy. He seems definitely dedicated to whatever his intent is, but there doesn't seem to be anything deceptive in his speech.

MARISHA: So am I correct to assume our plan is that we're going to march this Horn through the town? Until we get to the temple?

LAURA: Well, nobody knows what it is.

ORION: Right.

SAM: Well, unless someone–

LAURA: So we'll just be aware there's a huge envoy.

MARISHA: I mean, we can only assume– Yonn?

MATT: “Yes?”

MARISHA: How many people in this city are aware of this Horn being brought here?

MATT: “Well, up until now, other than myself, you travelers, and the Highbearer Vord himself, no one else.”

ORION: Hm.

MARISHA: Highbearer Vor– his name is Vord?

MATT: “Vord. The Highbearer of the Platinum Dragon.”

LAURA: What kind of man is he?

MATT: You hear when he mentions Vord, Kima twitches a little bit, and you remember Kima's official title is Lady Kima of Vord.

LAURA AND ORION: Hm.

SAM: Her ex?

TRAVIS: Is that her pops? Her pops?

ORION: Vonn. Yonn?

MATT: “Scalebearer Yonn, yes.”

ORION: Oh, Scalebearer Yonn, that's a fun name. (clears throat) As we travel through town, if you could point me to any place that would have a sigil of arcane-ness–

SAM: Arcane-iosity is what he's trying to say.

MATT: “There are none.”

ORION: Oh.

MATT: “This city, arcane magic for the most part, is not allowed within consistent practice. This is a divine, a holy place.”

ORION: Ah.

MATT: “And the arcane tends to, ah. How do you say, when unwatched, corrupt and destroy from the inside. ”

LIAM: Oh shit, Tiberius.

ORION: No, I'm fine! He's talking about other people.

TRAVIS: You don't have any arcane abilities anyway, right?

ORION: Oh of course I do, I'm a sorcerer.

LAURA: No no no, right?

SAM: Ix-nay.

TRAVIS: Wink wink, nudge nudge.

ORION: No, no, I think he– sure.

MATT: “This here in Vasselheim, the cradle of faith, the Dawn City, of once all civilization and current faith once stemmed from. There is no way in but by foot. It is a pilgrimage, a journey for each to come here, and those that stay, stay of their own will and divine right.” And as he refers to the guards, each guard you see now has around their neck a very visibly shown holy symbol of some kind of deity. Most seem to fall–

MARISHA: We've basically walked into the Crucible.

ORION: It's fine.

MATT: – into the realm of Arathis, Avandra, Melora, and a couple with Bahamut. None of–

ASHLEY: None of Sarenrae.

MATT: None of Sarenrae.

TRAVIS: Or as Liam calls it, Sa-REN-rae.

LAURA: The best one?

ASHLEY: The best, the best one.

LIAM: Sa-REN-rae!

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Sarenrae!

ORION: I'm going to take it you don't see very many dragonborn in these parts.

MATT: “No, and frankly you're making me a bit nervous.”

ORION: Oh.

MATT: “However, as we ourselves are followers of the Platinum Dragon, we understand that it is dragonkind at the heart of it, the metallics, that bring life and civilization and order to this world.”

ORION: Yes.

MATT: “Your color I find off-putting.”

ORION: It's–

LAURA: I've always noticed a fine metallic sheen coming from your red scales.

ORION: No, I'm of the chromatic nature, I'm a bit of an anomaly in my family, they're all of the metallic brand, I assure you. The Stormwind name runs true and wide throughout Draconia, but–

MATT: “I have heard of the Stormwinds, yes.”

ORION: I cast Alter Self real quick and I turn myself into, I believe, gold. Because that's the red– equivalent of red. On the metallic scale.

MATT: Okay. He gives you a curious look and goes–

ORION: I think that would be better for everyone involved.

MATT: “I would be mindful to not do such things so openly in public in the future.”

ORION: Oh, sorry.

MATT: “Ahem.” And he kind of adjusts his robe. “This way please, follow me.” And Scalebearer Yonn leads you–

LAURA: You look very nice, Tiberius.

ASHLEY: You look really great in gold.

ORION: Thank you, thank you.

MARISHA: So wait, hang on, hang on, hang on.

TRAVIS: What?

MARISHA: Before we move on– we're about to leave, I'm assuming?

MATT: You're stepping off the platform onto a staircase that leads off of the top of the mill.

MARISHA: Should a few of us kind of like flank around and–

LAURA: Definitely, we should all kind of surround the box, sure.

TRAVIS: Like rooftops and shit.

MARISHA: Rooftop shit, yeah.

LAURA: Oh.

TRAVIS: I like it.

MARISHA: I can go eagle form and have aerial support.

TRAVIS: I love it.

LAURA: I can stick to the rooftops, I guess, try to follow along.

TRAVIS: Overwatch.

MARISHA: Overwatch. What's that? Yeah.

LAURA: I'll snick to the rooftops and try to follow along, sniper eye.

MARISHA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Yeah, you two up top.

ASHLEY: I'll just stay right on the path.

TRAVIS: Yep, you and me.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: Smash hands.

MATT: All right, so.

ORION: I'll take the six.

MATT: Okay. As you–

LIAM: I'm gonna stay with it but try to blend in with the crowd.

MATT: All right, all right. Go ahead and make a stealth check.

LIAM: Yes.

TRAVIS: Scanlan?

LIAM: 23 for stealth.

MATT: All right, ah, if you wouldn't mind, Vex, making a stealth check as well?

LAURA: Oh.

TRAVIS: Overwatch.

MATT: Just to keep your rooftop activity inconspicuous.

LAURA: Not disturbing.

TRAVIS: We have a UAV.

LAURA: Oh, well I rolled a one. So that's lovely.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Are you flying up above?

MARISHA: Yeah, I'm going eagle.

TRAVIS: Don't you have advantage?

LAURA: Do I have advantage in– no.

ORION: And I'm taking up the rear, following behind.

MATT: No. Not in this terrain, unfortunately.

ASHLEY: But there are forests here.

LAURA: But with the forests I'd be amazing.

LIAM: I do applaud your honesty, though, sister.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: So as you loudly clomp up and begin rooftop-hopping, a few individuals in the city kind of take notice and they point up, which by the way–

LAURA: I wink at them as I'm climbing up.

MATT: Ah, the classic Vex wink. All right, so. Just you guys– kind of atmosphere, as you step down the staircase and get to the main city street proper, the first thing you notice, the roads themselves are not cobblestone, are not brick, they are mud. They are thick, recently sleeted mud. You hear the clomping of horse hooves as carts are pulled through and each one is a sickly (squelch) sound as each footstep makes it through. The people of this city are a very hardened and rugged folk. Most clothing is swathed in furs and thick leathers, armor is patchwork in itself, most of the men grow coarse facial hair and the women themselves, their hair is wild and their appearance very stoic and grizzled. The landscape of Vasselheim– oh, thank you kindly. Delivery of our chicken.

MARISHA: Chicken through the magic door.

MATT: The people who live here, you gather, quickly walking through– and Kima gives you a bit of insight as well– live here not because it's easy to live, not because there's many comforts, it's a very harsh living in the city of Vasselheim. But the city is also currently the oldest known bastion of civilization in the world. As far as it's understood, most human civilization, and a lot of humans believe pre-elf and pre-dwarf, although the dwarves and elves very staunchly disagree, all stemmed from this city, which is believed to be tens of thousands of years old. They have uncovered the single oldest temples to the main deities of good and neutrality within this city, and as such it is considered the holiest place in the modern world, which is why it has been through many, many wars and has seen much warfare and strife and difficulty. And those that live here live here because they feel that they can fight against this, and they actually call it a privilege to exist in this harsh landscape as devotion to their respective deities. Also, because it is such a holy place, this is why the arcane is considered, for the most part, profane in public and very carefully controlled otherwise.

TRAVIS: So we gotta be sneaky with that.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: The buildings look old–

TRAVIS: So I'll put my spells in my back pocket for now.

MATT: The buildings range from old to newer stone, warped wood from just the weather itself. You can see a lot of the wood has a kind of mossy texture to it just from the general overgrowth that tends to take the city. It's not kept for beauty, it's kept for function. There's scars across most of the buildings where you can see warfare has bled into the city, and there are markings and various points of ancient damage and certain structures that have not been rebuilt, that have just been left in ruin where they stand, because they have not yet found somebody or a purpose to be restructured. It's a very different landscape than what you're used to, and the walk itself is a very solemn, quiet walk through the city. The folks that do take notice just kind of give a nod of acknowledgement or a gruff grunt as they pass by. There doesn't seem to be a definite interest in your travel, this isn't a special occasion. It seems like travelers and strange occurrences are not that unnatural in this city.

MARISHA: Okay. So it's like New York.

MATT: You could say that, yeah. It's a very ancient New York.

SAM: And we're carrying a large ark, or a box of some sort?

MATT: You are carrying the platinum box that the Horn was kept in.

SAM: How big is it?

MATT: It's approximately like a foot and a half, or two feet by two feet.

ASHLEY: Oh, Taliesin's here.

LAURA: Oh!

TRAVIS: Taliesin's outside.

SAM: And it's platinum? It's just a platinum box?

MATT: Yes, it is made of like solid platinum and silver with a series of very, very intricate scrolling and engravings on it.

MARISHA: Is it sticking out like a sore thumb?

LAURA: There were some sapphires in there, too, some blue sapphires, I remember.

MATT: Yes, yes.

MARISHA: Is it sticking out like a sore thumb?

MATT: Best you can tell, there are people taking notice of it, but none that like stop and gawk, they just kind of, “huh.” Keep walking.

MARISHA: Damn, maybe we should've thrown a blanket or something over it.

MATT: You could if you want to, now.

TRAVIS: Can we, though?

MARISHA: Burlap sack or something? Anybody?

MATT: The guards still flanking you guys, surrounding this ensemble as it presses towards the base of the mountain. You make your way towards the edge of the mountain, or where the mountain begins at the bottom of the floor, and you can see dozens of staircases ascending the outskirts of this giant pointed cragless spire that just sticks up into, actually, the clouds cut off the top of it. It's reminiscent of Gatshadow, the mountain outside of Westruun that you guys traveled to long ago.

TRAVIS: Right.

MATT: But even larger. You continue up this staircase, and the stonework itself is a little lopsided and awkward, and with each step sometimes you have to kinda catch yourself, especially as the wind begins to pick up the higher up the mountain you go, and it takes about 15 to 20 minutes to ascend this staircase. Your legs begin to grow a little sore, until eventually you reach the base of what you can only imagine is the Platinum Sanctuary. You see before you, built into the side of the rock of this mountain, a grand stone fortress that looks older than time in itself. You can see the elements have weathered to the point where even the solid points and how the stonework was meant to be an edge has been rounded and smoothed down. There are a series of silver markings across the outskirts of it, which Tiberius, you recognize as Draconic.

ORION: Look, Percy, it's Draconic.

TALIESIN: Oh, so it is.

(laughter)

MATT: Certain words in Draconic–

MARISHA: Percy, you've been so quiet here lately.

TALIESIN: I don't want to talk about it.

MATT: You see phrases emblazoned on the side of this giant temple that say things like “honor, justice.” Various, very old base Draconic stuff. The current language is a more refined version. This is a very, very ancient basis of that language.

ORION: See that, Scanlan? That says something like Apollo Justice something.

SAM: It's Phoenix something.

ORION: It's maybe the rise of the justice of the phoenix.

SAM: Nah, I don't know.

ORION: It's a lot of things.

TRAVIS: Dawn of justice–

MATT: On the top of this fortress, you see three constructs that don't match the stone structure. These may have been constructed or built many years later and have been added onto the temple. But three ivory and silver spires, towers that ascend from the top of the fortress itself, almost parallel to the very steep mountainside that this fortress is built into. You come to the front doors of this structure. Two very, very large gray stone doors with almost what looks like white marbling through them, and you can see, mostly worn away but still barely visible, the symbol of a shield with a dragon head emblazoned on the front of it, the symbol of Bahamut. As the Scalebearer– yes, that there– as the Scalebearers approach the front, the doors, on their own, and open to the interior, the grinding sound of stone across the marble flooring of the fortress proper. You can see the interior. Did you have a question?

MARISHA: Can I see inside the temple? Or are the temples pretty enclosed?

MATT: You can see now as the doors begin to open.

MARISHA: Well, I was an eagle flying overhead.

MATT: Oh, yes! You–

MARISHA: And I was gonna do a perception check to see if I noticed, like kinda do a loop of the temple.

MATT: Go for it.

SAM: So, I'm an eagle.

MARISHA: So I'm an eagle right now, so.

TALIESIN: You're such an eagle. Oh my god.

LAURA: I very, very poorly fall off of the roof and clamber down.

MARISHA: 20 total.

MATT: Best you can tell, there are for the makeshift guards in the city– which, you've heard them referred to as Bastions, they're all volunteers, and actually from what you gather here, probably a quarter of the populace are Bastions. So they have a very, very heavy civilian-based militia that guards this city.

SAM: Are those the guys who were with us, the envoys?

MATT: Yes. No, no, not the envoys, the envoys' come from the temple of Bahamut, they have the blue and silver robes. You see, they're just wearing makeshift patchwork armor, whatever that could be scavenged or constructed to outfit a militia, essentially.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: You see them going up and down every which staircase, just doing various passes and patrolwork. Some of them have spyglasses and you see them looking off in the distance, and as you're getting higher up the mountain, too, you look out about, and you can see the entire forest around you. Very thick, ominous, and you swear every now and then you can see some trees move suddenly and heavily before coming to rest in the distance.

MARISHA: I'm gonna go check that out first.

MATT: The rest of you are entering the temple. Keyleth is not there.

ORION: Is it lit in there?

MATT: The doors close behind you.

SAM: Hope Keyleth is okay.

LAURA: Keyleth–

MARISHA: (eagle noises)

LIAM: I don't think that I was with the group, I think I was back with the crowd–

LAURA: No, you–

SAM: Great.

LIAM: – so I see the eagle fly off and I'm just gonna follow after her.

LAURA: What?

MATT: The eagle flies out of the city.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: You're gonna leave the city, brother?

LIAM: No.

ORION: You're leaving?

MARISHA: Gonna see if I can figure out what's making the trees move.

LIAM: Now that I understand the–

LAURA: Come on in the temple.

LIAM: But do I still get shut in my face? So.

MARISHA: I'm flying! I'm fine.

LIAM: It's a big solid building, doors are shut, that's it?

MATT: Yeah, I mean, the temple, would you like to enter the temple with the rest of the group?

LAURA: Yeah, you would.

ASHLEY: Yeah, do it.

MATT: All right.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: So just as the doors are closing, you rush out of your subtle following pattern and, wait, and put your hands up and manage to make your way into the temple right before the doors close, catching up with the rest of the group. Keyleth, make a perception check.

MARISHA: I have advantage because I'm an eagle. Ooh, natural 20!

SAM and TRAVIS: Nice!

TALIESIN: On the shiny die.

MATT: All right.

ORION: It is on the shiny die.

MATT: It's hard to see much of anything because the canopy of this forest is so dense and so thick, and the snowfall itself, which is getting stronger through the air, and is kind of obscuring some of your vision, but you glance down and you see another set of trees shift suddenly about a quarter-mile away from the city's walls. And you can see on the edge of the city wall a number of guards are beginning to swarm up to the ballista and starting to load them and prepare them. You glance down, and all you see are something fast-moving beneath the canopy, something large. Something you can swear you see it looks serpentine-like. But multiple serpentine-like bodies or forms. And then it's gone in a second.

LAURA: Hydra! You think it's a hydra?

ORION: I don't want it to be a hydra.

LIAM: Stop gasping, I don't see shit, Laura.

ORION: Oh, that's right.

LAURA: Shut up!

MATT: You see a couple ballista set loose. The bolts go flying through the air, entering the forest. You can hear a loud screeching sound, and a few dozen forests now begin to shake to the side as the creature makes its way away from the city before going still in the distance.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: You get the sensation that this is a–

MARISHA: A common occurrence.

MATT: – a common occurrence.

MARISHA: Okay. Good to know. I'm going to loop back around. Is there like an open window in the temple that I can just fly through–

ORION: Ooh. Is there a super clear one that she could try to go through first?

MARISHA: Be like that Windex commercial, back in the day.

MATT: The temple–

ORION: (crashing sounds) Dammit!

MATT: You make your way–

MARISHA: I break my neck, I die.

ORION: No.

MATT: There are small– they are not windows, more than they are slits for arrow defense.

TRAVIS: Right.

MATT: You as Keyleth could squeeze through. It would be one of those things where you have to careen in, transform, and then squeeze through.

MARISHA: Okay, I'll do that.

MATT: Which you do, and as you do, you come right into the face of a spear right there–

LAURA: (gasps) You should have transformed into a fly.

MATT: – as another one of the Platinum Dragon guards says, “Who goes there?”

SAM: Oh boy.

MARISHA: Hi. Hi.

MATT: Another guard begins to approach from the side.

MARISHA: I am with Vox Machina. I'm pretty sure they just came through the front door. It's cool. I was just doing– just like aerial support. I'm just going to go and reconnect with my group. It's fine.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

MARISHA: I'm Keyleth.

TRAVIS: (whispers) Mention the Scalebearer.

MARISHA: I'm not good at this shit.

MATT: You're not there, Grog.

MARISHA: What am I doing? A persuasion check?

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Christ.

ORION: You're going to roll a one.

MATT: Sorry, Miss Charisma.

MARISHA: Shut up.

TALIESIN: Oh, wow.

MARISHA: Oh, wait. I don't know why I'm rolling two.

TALIESIN: That's real funny.

MARISHA: Six?

LAURA: Oh no!

SAM: Keyleth's dead.

ORION: (whispers) No, they'll probably just put her in prison.

MATT: The guy holding the spear to you keeps it there. The other guy walks up behind and says, “Let me see your hands.”

LAURA: (gasps)

LIAM: Shit.

MARISHA: Why?

MATT: “Let me see your hands.” He takes your hands, pulls out a set of shackles–

LAURA: (gasps)

ASHLEY: Oh no.

MATT: – and locks them on.

LAURA: This is the second time you've been arrested!

MARISHA: Yeah, it is.

MATT: The guy with spear turns behind you and just holds it to your back as the gentleman who just cuffed you grabs the chain between and starts pulling you towards the main chamber. MARISHA: You know, can we just buzz by the front foyer, and then we'll find my friends, and then we'll all be like, hey, those are my– It'll be fine.

ORION: I think that's where you're going.

MATT: He leads you down the stairway to an area where it opens up into a small courtyard, takes you to the right of the courtyard into a central chamber, where the rest of Vox Machina is currently being led.

LAURA: Keyleth!

ORION: Do I see her?

MATT: Yeah, you guys all see her being led in, in cuffs, essentially.

ORION: Seriously? Again?

TRAVIS: What did you do?

LAURA: Again, Keyleth?

ORION: Your Highness, what is your problem?

ASHLEY: Oh. She's with us. She's with us, she was just outside, we got in before.

TRAVIS: No, we don't know who she is.

TALIESIN: Actually, can we have a few minutes to discuss this?

MARISHA: Shut up, Grog!

MATT: At this point, Kima turns and says, “She's with me.”

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: And both the Scalebearers go, “Lady Kima, I am so sorry.” And they go ahead and take the cuffs off real fast and pull the spear back and step back.

ASHLEY: Wow.

LAURA: Yeah, you listen to Lady Kima.

ORION: The classic.

MARISHA: The classic.

ORION: The classic handcuff wrist twist.

MARISHA: Ouch.

LIAM: Hardass.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Yeah, I'm with her.

MATT: They back off and bow deeply and escort themselves off, embarrassed.

MARISHA: Did you guys see that?

ASHLEY: That was cool.

ORION: I nudge Grog.

TRAVIS: That was cool. You were arrested.

ORION: Grog, Grog, I'm nudging you.

TRAVIS: You hadn't done anything.

TALIESIN: I knew you had it in you.

MARISHA: I'm starting to feel so hardcore.

ORION: I'm just nudging you.

TRAVIS: Oh, okay.

ORION: Because Kima did something super hot.

TALIESIN: You need a tattoo.

MARISHA: I do need a tattoo.

TRAVIS: I know, I noticed. She doesn't love me, though.

LAURA: She does, Grog.

TRAVIS: No, not yet.

MATT: All right. Scalebearer Yonn continues to lead you through this main chamber. And this chamber, like I said, it's the temple. It's strange, because most temples you've seen to Bahamut or many other deities are extravagant or are, you know, built with a modern-day sense of architecture. This is a very plain, simple stone fortress. It's hard to grasp what time it was built, but just the smell itself seems very ancient. There's a scent of dust and age, and functionality to its construct. But there's still a sense of power to it. Especially you, Pike, where you're sensitive to divine energy. This whole place is humming with it. Even though it's not the kind you're used to connecting with. This is– When they say this is a holy place, you can feel it.

LAURA: Is everything okay, Pike?

ASHLEY: It's just– there's a lot of holiness here.

(laughter)

ORION: I would imagine.

MARISHA: Oh.

SAM: On a scale from one to five, five being super holy–

ASHLEY: Probably six.

SAM: Whoa.

LAURA: Whoa.

MARISHA: (gasps)

ORION: That's extra holy.

MARISHA: This temple goes to six.

ASHLEY: This temple, I mean this–

ORION: (laughs) This temple goes to six.

ASHLEY: Just this whole land in particular. I mean there's a lot, there's a lot here, but–

ORION: That is good, though.

ASHLEY: Yes, good.

SAM: Do you need a moment? Do you need to sit down? Do you need me to hold you?

ASHLEY: I think I'm okay to keep going.

LAURA: All right.

ASHLEY: But maybe later. We'll see. If I get a little tired.

MATT: At which you feel a nudge at your side and it's an armored elbow from Kima, saying, “If you wouldn't mind holding off on the fraternizing in the temple of Bahamut, I would really appreciate it.”

MARISHA: Oh, that's right.

SAM: Message understood.

MATT: At which point Scalebearer Yonn is now at the second set of double doors and he presents his holy symbol above his chest, it glows a second, and what was originally just smooth stone doors, you see a divine glow and the symbol of Bahamut you saw at the front of the temple appear for a moment, and then as it vanishes the two doors open on their own into a central worship chamber. This is a much larger domed room. It looks like it goes up about 80 feet to the top of the ceiling, and the dome itself has what looks like an extremely ancient, detailed drawing, like Sistine Chapel-style, the tale of the entirety of creation. You see all the elemental planes represented in the corners, the theoretical corners, where corners would be in a domed room. You can see a crude representation of how all the planes lay over each other, you can see the Astral Plane, you can see where the Nine Hells would exist, and the Abyss itself, and in the center there's the Prime Material Plane, and across it you see a giant image of the great platinum dragon Bahamut drawn in all of his glory, currently snapping down on one of the throats of a multi-headed dragon. This other dragon, with five different heads of five different chromatic colors, and this struggle between what you know to be Bahamut and Tiamat.

TRAVIS: Tiamat?

MATT: Tiamat.

LAURA: Is that the bad one?

MATT: You gather.

LIAM: That is the baddest one.

LAURA: I mean, I know that because I know a lot about dragons.

MATT: Indeed.

MARISHA: Whoa. Do I see or learn anything about the elemental planes that I didn't know before?

MATT: Not from the artwork. It's very pretty.

MARISHA: Ah, so pretty.

ORION: I take it all in and I'm reminded of one of the museums at home.

MATT: And actually, you've seen this art piece in a book. It's been a long time, but you know that this has been studied before and exists somewhere in Draconia, the tome that talks about this exact temple.

TRAVIS: A book?

MARISHA: We just made cave drawings, I don't–

SAM: That's those square things.

ORION: The square things with all the paper leaves in them and squiggles.

TRAVIS: Right.

LAURA: Is Tiamat still alive? Is he still around?

ORION: I read a lot of those. Can't put my finger on it.

MATT: At which point both Yonn and Kima and the Scalebearers kind of turn to you with a look of– kind of understanding that you don't quite know, but also the fear and the knowledge that– they don't say anything, they just give you a look that says, yes, very much so.

LAURA: Oh. I mean. (nervous laugh) Tiamat's still around, huh?

ORION: Unfortunately, yes.

MATT: They continue walking.

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: Now, the floor of this chamber, which is a very simple stone, you can see there are small sculptures, each one representing some sort of a humanoid entity dressed in similar robes to the other envoys and members of this temple that you've encountered thus far. Some of them are in full armor, some are wearing just robes, and they're very, very old. Some of them seem a little more recent, and you gather these each have some sort of cultural or religious significance to this temple. However, one of these is not a statue. In the center of this worship chamber, which is strangely, eerily quiet, there is one humanoid that turns to the rest of you. What you see before you is a slender, elven male draped in long, white robes that drag a few feet behind his form across the ground. He has jet– not jet, stark-white hair that is slicked back against his head, no facial hair, frail but very handsome features. Elves, when they age, they age very gracefully–

LAURA: Yeah we do.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: – and from the look of most elves you've seen, this is a very old elf that has aged very gracefully. He turns to the rest of you and you see across his neck a very, very well-crafted, intricate series of draconic symbols that finishes with a giant emblem of Bahamut himself. His voice rings out and echoes throughout the hallway as you approach, each footstep echoing as you get closer. “Welcome, everyone, to the Platinum Sanctuary. I am called Highbearer Vord.”

LAURA: Oh, right.

MATT: “Keeper of this most holy of places. I received word from a disciple of mine–” At which Kima has now stepped forward, and bows, kneels before him and says, “Your holiness.” At which he looks down with a smile. “Ah, Kima. I am pleased to see you. It has been a long time, my disciple.” He looks up to the rest of the group. “I understand you carry something of terrible omen. Let us discuss how to be rid of it. Please. Present the container.”

LAURA: Right here?

MATT: The Scalebearers step forward and set the container on the ground. They go to reach for it and he goes, “No no no. Do not open it.” And he kind of takes a second and holds his symbol to his chest and closes his eyes, and you can see this kind of divine glow pulse off of him for a second.

MARISHA: Kima, what's happening?

MATT: She goes, “Shh, shh.”

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: The box begins to pulse with the divine light as well, and then suddenly vanishes and he kind of (gasps) catches his breath. “It is as you said. This must be sealed immediately.”

ORION: Well, yes.

MARISHA: Yeah-huh. We could have just told you that.

MATT: He gives a look to the rest of the group here, and you can see there's a noticeable bead of sweat he kind of wipes off his forehead. “I just needed to confirm that this was not some haphazardly constructed fake or some other artifact mistaken for such a horn, but we indeed have within our presence one of the Horns of Orcus, and this does not bode well.”

LAURA: (whistles)

MATT: “Thankfully–”

LAURA: Are you guys– oh, sorry.

MATT: “No, please. What do you want to say?”

LAURA: I was just wondering. You've had one of these before, yes?

MATT: “No, but we know that these exist. A few of us do; the knowledge itself has been lost to time intentionally. It was brought to my attention, and through discussions with the Council that sent you on this journey, that this would be the safest place to seal such an artifact, and amongst all our other options, as of this time, I see no other choice. So. What's been proposed. Allow me to explain to you the plan. One of our most divine relics of our most beloved protector Bahamut was kept deep beneath this temple, within the mountain we rest against. The Star of Exaltation, a crystal born from the tear Bahamut shed for the sacrifices his first devoted made in the Great War of the Beginnings, the Dawn War. This item was unfortunately lost nearly 300 years ago, giving the last of its power to protect this very Vasselheim. The intervention it brought from our great deity expended and left the artifact destroyed. Since the chamber that held this Star, a blessed and ever-watched nexus beneath the gaze of the Great Platinum Dragon Himself, has gone empty, we've tended to it. We've kept it fairly well-watched and in the state it was originally constructed for. And we think no greater location to seal such a deeply-rooted evil exists within our spheres of influence or any other. Unfortunately, the last time the chamber was cleansed and prepared was some 15 years ago. Our curate tasked one of our own Scalebearers–” And he looks over towards Yonn, who sheepishly backs away. “– was tasked with preparing it for your arrival, and the artifact's, and it was found that the lower chambers have been infested with some manner of foul subterranean spider creature.”

MARISHA: Oh, man.

MATT: “Our Scalebearer fled.” At which point Yonn leaves the entire conversation and exits the room.

ASHLEY: (quietly) Excuse me.

SAM: Yonn.

MATT: You hear Kima kind of give a spit in his direction.

MATT: “But not before initiating the vault's defenses.” (sighs) “So thus, I ask you to complete your journey into the Hall of the Exalt below, clear out these meager beasts, and guide your reliquary into the vault chamber to seal it for good.”

ORION: Will we have to contend with the defense systems as well?

MATT: “Not all of them, but apparently in his haste to escape and defend himself, he set a few of them to aid his escape.”

LAURA: Great. (shouts) Good job, Yonn!

MARISHA: Thanks, Yonn.

MATT: You hear no response other than the pitter-patter of steps.

SAM: Why does he still work here?

TRAVIS: (laughs) Right?

ORION: (laughs) Very good question.

TALIESIN: Would you like to speak to his manager?

SAM: Does he have tenure or something? Is it a union thing?

MATT: “He's been with us for many, many years, and he has great heart and devotion. Though addled may be his mind, he does bring much to the temple.”

MARISHA: He has seniority.

SAM: All right.

MARISHA: So wait, you said you lost the Crystal of Exaltation during the War of–

MATT: “It was destroyed during a siege of the city.”

MARISHA: During the War of what? Beginnings?

MATT: “The War of the Beginnings.”

MARISHA: The War of the Beginnings.

TALIESIN: That was close.

MARISHA: And how long ago was this War of the Beginnings?

MATT: “Well that, oh, I'm sorry. It was created in the War of the Beginnings.”

MARISHA: It was created then?

MATT: “It was lost in a battle, a siege of the city of Vasselheim 300 years ago.”

LAURA: 300 years?

MARISHA: Called what? During what war?

TALIESIN: The Siege of the Metal Champions.

MATT: “That had no particular name.”

MARISHA: Oh.

LAURA: Oh.

MARISHA: Just a siege.

LAURA: It was just a thing?

MATT: “It was one of the sieges and there was–”

SAM: The Battle Where the Thing Was Lost.

MATT: Yes. There it is.

ORION: Right.

(laughter)

LIAM: Vord. Hi. Question, please. We'll clear out your basement, that's not a problem. I'd like to understand how you plan to protect this horn, how you plan to keep it out of the hands of entities who would use it for ill–

LAURA: That big scary creature living out in the woods. Sorry, brother.

LIAM: Then how– that's fine.

MATT: He glances towards you and says, “Oh, that is but one of many.”

LAURA: Huh.

MATT: “Let it be known that this temple is extremely well-guarded. It is continuously under the gaze of our patron deity and while some of the defenses have been put in place for your arrival, if the entirety of the vault is triggered, there is nothing that will make its way there unannounced.”

TRAVIS: Good sell.

SAM: Are we to carry the box down as we journey into the dungeons below, or are we to leave it here while we go clear out the basement?

MATT: “The Scalebearers will bring it with you.”

SAM: Okay.

MATT: “Keep them safe.”

SAM: Keep them safe? Oh. All right. We've got enough to worry about keeping ourselves safe.

MARISHA: So just to get one thing clear, and I mean no (clears throat) disrespect, but how was the crystal lost 300 years ago, if it was in this chamber? So this chamber has been broken into before?

MATT: “We can enter the chamber under very specific circumstances. We, at the time, requested the use of the Star of Exaltation as a divine focus–”

MARISHA: Oh.

MATT: “– a ritual that required the intervention of Bahamut to keep the city safe.”

MARISHA: Oh, so someone brought it out and then was clumsy and lost it.

LAURA: And then it was lost.

SAM: And you know what–

MATT: “It wasn't clumsy and lost. It was used as a focus in the ritual.”

MARISHA: Oh.

MATT: “It was by the will of Bahamut Himself that the Star no longer was required to exist on this plane.”

ORION: She gets it. She gets it.

MATT: “It served its purpose.”

MARISHA: So it was destroyed.

LAURA: Lost, as in–

ORION: Like not around.

MARISHA: You should change your verbage here.

TALIESIN: Charisma of ten, ladies and gentlemen. Charisma of ten.

LAURA: While everybody's been talking, can I have used my Primeval Awareness to see within six miles if there's any dragons around us?

SAM: (sings) Primeval Awareness, yeah.

MATT: So you take a moment and kind of zone out for a second. You do not sense any dragons in the immediate vicinity of the six-mile radius  the city, no.

LAURA: Oh, okay. All right. That's all I wanted to know.

SAM: (sings) Primeval Awareness, over.

TRAVIS: Can we drop off this box, or what? I want to go see the fire dancers.

SAM: Yeah, let's go.

LAURA: No, we need to go– we also need to– are we going to do that now?

SAM: Let's just go.

LAURA: Go clear out the basement?

SAM: Yeah, it's the morning, still. Okay? Let's go.

ORION: Are we all potioned up, are we all–

MARISHA: Yeah, we're good.

ASHLEY: We're all healed.

ORION: We're good?

LAURA: Let's clear out the basement.

TRAVIS: There's nothing down there, right?

LAURA: Yeah? I mean, you want us to do it now, yeah?

TALIESIN: I'm not– I haven't been paying attention.

MATT: “Lest this artifact be left longer in the open, which I would not be comfortable with.”

LAURA: No, neither would I.

MATT: “I would prefer this be taken care of immediately.”

TRAVIS: Yeah, we'll do it now.

SAM: Let's go do it.

TALIESIN: We've got a bear.

LAURA: I mean, obviously we want the Horn taken care of, but–

TRAVIS: Here we go.

LAURA: – you know, we're taking care of a problem for you, too.

SAM: Oh, here it goes.

TRAVIS: Here it comes.

SAM: Here it goes.

ASHLEY: Get it, girl.

TRAVIS: Son of a bitch.

ASHLEY: Get it, girl. Get it.

LIAM: The holiest place on the map.

ASHLEY: Yeah. (laughs)

LAURA: The holiest place?

SAM: Haggle with the pope.

TALIESIN: Shaking down the pope.

MATT: “You want a monetary reward–”

LAURA: I was just wondering.

MATT: “– for your aid.”

LAURA: I'm not asking.

MATT: “The temple can provide a sum of three thousand gold pieces.”

LAURA: Per party member, yes?

MATT: “Entirely. Three thousand gold pieces for your trouble on this journey.” At which Kima steps forward and says, “Highbearer, we do not need to take money from–”

LAURA: We don't want money, of course not. I mean, I–

SAM: But think of the good we could do with that money, giving alms to the poor back home where we are.

LAURA: Yes, spreading the word of Bahamut where we go.

ASHLEY: Are we going to return for it?

SAM: We do a lot of charity work and it would be well-received back home. (under his breath) In our Keep.

MATT: You make a persuasion roll. You make a deception roll.

SAM: Deception?

LAURA: It's not a deception, we really will–

TRAVIS: No, no. Only one of you.

MATT: (laughs) No, he won't.

TALIESIN: The ladies of the evening really, really do need the money, apparently.

MARISHA: (laughs) No, he won't.

TRAVIS: What did you roll, Sam?

SAM: A 30.

ORION: (laughs)

LAURA: Oh. That's really good because I rolled a 19. Wait!

MARISHA: A 30?

ASHLEY: No, you didn't.

LAURA: Yeah, I did.

LIAM: Three-zero?

SAM: Three-zero! I have a +13 for deception.

(laughs)

TRAVIS: Really?

(laughter)

TALIESIN: That explains so much.

TRAVIS: We've got to get you deceiving more.

MARISHA: (laughs) We've got to get you deceiving more.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

MARISHA: You should lie more. It's good.

TALIESIN: Lie to me, Pinocchio. Lie to me.

MATT: “Three thousand gold, at your disposal, to bring about and to share in the prosperity of your people back home.”

SAM: Amen.

(laughter)

MATT: “Once the artifact is delivered and sealed.”

SAM: From one holy man to another, I think we've struck a deal. Let's go.

ORION: Burt Reynolds, you've done it again.

TRAVIS: Amen.

(laughter)

MATT: As you all turn, Kima goes, “I'll show you to the vault room.”

LAURA: Are you going to come with us, Kima?

MATT: “Yes, I'm coming with you.”

LAURA: Oh, good.

MATT: She glances over at you. (sarcastically) “Shall we, holy man?”

(laughter)

SAM: Why yes, my sister, lead the way.

MARISHA: Sister.

(laughter)

MATT: As you guys are walking out of the chamber, the doors close behind, she turns to you and says, “Is that why you were blessed with such a temporarily swollen appendage before?”

SAM: I don't know how the lord works, it's mysterious.

(laughter)

MATT: “Let us be on our way.” She kind of walks off, flustered and frustrated. You guys are led down two layers. This actual temple recedes further and further into the mountain, until you're led into what seems to almost be a storage basement. It's a very musty smell. It's old earth–

ORION: It's dank down here.

MATT: Yeah, it kind of has that moldy scent to it. There are five guards stationed in this storage vicinity, and as you approach, they all stand up. They're all still wearing ceremonial armor, two of which you can see are really well-armed, one with a greatsword and one with a longsword at the side. They look pretty prestigious to be assigned to a basement this terrible.

LAURA: At ease, soldiers.

MATT: “Of course, of course.”

MATT: And they step aside. Kima steps forward and takes her holy symbol and removes it from around her neck. She looks at the wall for a second, then places it into what you didn't see before was some sort of a slight recess in the wood. It flashes with divine energy, and suddenly the wood illusion is dispelled and what you see before you is a stone doorway that begins to slowly shift to the side and open up into a staircase.

LAURA: Are we going to find any of these defenses right away, or what?

MATT: Kima kind of gives you a look, shrugs, and, “To be perfectly honest, I have not been within the vault.”

TALIESIN: Well.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: Huh. Is there a blueprint somewhere?

TRAVIS: Liam, you're up. I mean, (clears throat) Vax.

SAM: I thought he was Vex.

LIAM: Sorry, my communication earring was a little low there. What was said?

LAURA: Check for some traps, brother.

LIAM: You got it. You got it. I'm glad to get out of upstairs, I mutter to my sister, because the decor up there was shit.

MARISHA: (laughs)

LIAM: That is… high. That was a 26.

MATT: 26 for?

LAURA: Traps in the stairway.

LIAM: Just traps.

MATT: Perception for traps? All right. As you slowly begin to descend the stairway, you keep an eye out across the staircase itself and any of the surrounding walls. The stonework here is also extremely ancient, marking probably a similarity to the most ancient of buildings you've seen in this city. This subterranean structure is probably one of the older parts of this temple. You don't see anything trap-wise. The stairway eventually comes to an end into a chamber about 50 feet by 50 feet. It's very, very low light. There appear to be–

ORION: Oh! Light!

MATT: Okay. The brief moment of light, before your eyes can really focus in, there's a flash of light at the end of Tiberius's staff, and the room actually gets harder to see. You see there is a thick white mist that just kind of hangs in the air throughout the entirety of this room.

ORION: Oh! (fssh)

MARISHA: It's like having your high-beams on when it's foggy.

ORION: I de-cast Light.

MATT: Okay. You dispel the Light.

ORION: What is all of this poppycock?

MATT: Your eyes adjust a little bit, and you can see what looks like– this room, for the most part, doesn't have any sort of details. There are a couple of sconces with low, flickering light that are embedded in the side of the walls of this 50 foot by 50 foot room. It's about 20 feet high.

MARISHA: I go ahead and I do a little Wind Gust and I go, (blows air).

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Down the hall, to clear out the fog.

MATT: Which spell is this?

MARISHA: Gust of Wind.

MATT: Okay, so you cast Gust of Wind. The mist that was filling this room blows out the other side and you can see, the room is a little more visible now.

ORION: Oh, very good. Light!

MATT: There's still a light mist on the sides, but the center of the walkway is clear for a second. You see now in the center of the room what were initially just dark spots in the mist, there are two pillars that are attached from ceiling to floor, roughly about 20 feet apart from each other, kind of in the center of each side of the room. Each pillar is solid gray stone with what looks like intricately carved small dragons almost curling and wrapping around the statues. Each one of their heads kind of turned, mouth opened kind of angrily in different directions.

LAURA: Can I check for traps or see if there's anything–

TRAVIS: You should re-cast that.

MATT: You guys, both of you guys make perception checks.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: That's a 19.

LAURA: Oh, he already rolled. Look at him.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Perception?

MATT: Mm-hm.

LAURA: 25.

MATT: So looking about, Liam– Sorry, Vax. You notice the base of each one of these pillars is not flush with the floor. There is a slight gap, meaning there is some sort of a rotation or a pivot to these pillars.

LAURA: Hm.

MATT: You notice that these mouths of the dragons seem to be what's creating this white mist, and as time progresses, the mist begins to refill up the room rather quickly.

LAURA: All right. Do I notice any– does it seem– Well, without touching it. Any kind of poisonous in nature, anything like that?

MATT: Looks like mist.

ASHLEY: Should we run through?

ORION: While we're standing around, I'd like to reassign the earrings to Vax, Grog, and Scanlan.

LAURA: I don't get one anymore? You're taking it off of me right now?

TRAVIS: Yeah, he's giving it to me. (laughs)

ORION: Because we're always together, we're always kind of in the back together, and they're always kind of like up in the fray, so–

TRAVIS: That's true, I do wander off easily.

SAM: Oh, is that you, Grog?

TRAVIS: (laughs) Hi. I know.

ORION: She's always kind of like in the middle. She's the wild card. He's always in the back with us also because we're the ranged dudes.

LAURA: All right.

MARISHA: Wait, do I still have one?

TALIESIN: I'm putting down my mask, just in case this is awful.

MATT: Okay. You guys are still at the stairway. The mist has now filled the room again in front of you.

LAURA: Ugh. Should we try breathing it and see what happens?

SAM: Yeah, sure.

MARISHA: My Gust of Wind–

LAURA: I just reach my arm into the mist and just see–

MARISHA: My Gust of Wind lasts up to one minute, by the way, so I can keep–

LAURA: Oh, maybe we should just not touch the mist and go straight through the room.

MARISHA: I'm just airbending.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: You've been wanting to say that.

LAURA: So you can blow it and we just walk through?

MATT: As this conversation has continued– let's say about 30 or 40 seconds has gone by in transferring the earrings and the discussion, so there's still a little bit of– there is a clear pathway in the center there.

MARISHA: Not much time.

SAM: Let's go.

LAURA: Should we go?

SAM: Let's go through.

LAURA: Let's go before it gets back.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

ASHLEY: I start running.

TALIESIN: Yes, go, run.

LIAM: Hustle, hustle.

LAURA: Go, go, go.

MATT: Okay. You all start running through. You're running through with them and keeping concentration on your spell.

ORION: Vax, check for traps!

SAM: Vorak, Desona, come!

LAURA: I perception-checked the room. It didn't seem like there was anything.

ORION: Oh, are we good? Okay.

LIAM: I'm running ten feet ahead of everybody. I rolled a big old one.

(laughter)

SAM: He tripped.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Wow.

MATT: You continue forward, and as you're rushing through the group, not paying attention, you gently hit the edge of the mist barrier with your shoulder, as you're rushing to the side instinctually to stealth along the wall. As your shoulder breaks the mist–

LIAM: Bring it.

MATT: All of the dragon mouths burst into bright fiery flame and begin spinning rapidly in the room. The people that are in the center running through right now, which include Keyleth, Scanlan, Tiberius, and Pike, all of you guys make dexterity saving throws.

ASHLEY: What?!

SAM: Whoa!

MARISHA: Son of a bitch.

LAURA: Vax!

SAM: Way to go, Vax.

TALIESIN: Teacher, teacher, did I have time to finish my book?

MATT: You have.

TALIESIN: Yes!

ASHLEY: Dexterity check?

LIAM: You said dex save? Dex save?

MATT: Dex save, yes.

ORION: 18.

MARISHA: It's all right.

MATT: 18?

ORION: Mm-hm.

MATT: All right. Hmm. Scanlan?

SAM: Oh! 13.

MATT: 13.

ASHLEY: Three.

MATT: All right.

LIAM: 26.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Also 13.

ASHLEY: But I'm short! I'm so short. They would–

LAURA: Super duper short.

TRAVIS: Just going to hit you in the face.

ASHLEY: They would just flow right over me.

MATT: Okay. As the flames just burst out throughout the room, tearing into the air with this reddish-white flame, both Vax and Tiberius manage to try and dodge out of the way as best they can, only receiving, each of them–

LAURA: Well, all Vax has to do is roll, because he's already on the freaking ground.

MATT: 12 points of fire damage to each of you.

MARISHA: To who?

LIAM: Well, rogue with Uncanny Dodge, for a successful save gets zero damage.

MATT: You take none.

ORION: And I take half.

MATT: So you take zero damage, you take 12.

ORION: So I take half. Is it 24 total?

MATT: No, 24 total. You take half.

ORION: Oh.

MARISHA: The rest of us?

MATT: Scanlan, Keyleth, and Pike all take 24 points of fire damage.

SAM: Ugh.

ASHLEY: I got 24 points.

MARISHA: Ouch.

ORION: Oh! My robe.

SAM: Ow. Are we still moving?

LIAM: Tuck and roll.

ORION: Are you getting used to your new foot, Vax?

LIAM: I'm back!

MATT: You guys move through– that's the four of you guys. Percy, Grog, and Vex and Trinket are all behind, as they watch the flames burst out and they all kind of stop their inertia, and now the mist slowly fills up the room.

TRAVIS: Whoa.

MATT: About the time that your spell wears off for the first minute.

MARISHA: Okay. (weak chuckle) Let's move?

TRAVIS: It fills up the room?

LAURA: We're still in the room.

SAM: The three of us, you're still back.

MATT: You guys are split right now, with the bearers, the Scalebearers.

LAURA: Oh, they're coming with us, they're like coming with us through the whole thing?

MATT: They're with you, yeah.

MARISHA: Wait, hang on.

LAURA: Keyleth, blow the smoke again. Blow the mist away. If you can.

MARISHA: Burning another spell slot. All right, here we go.

MATT: Oh, no.

ASHLEY: We run through it.

LAURA: And now we run.

MARISHA: Oh, no. He doesn't care.

TRAVIS: He doesn't care.

TALIESIN: No, we walk gently through.

MATT: Burning the second spell slot. (wind noise) The mist clears itself. Now that you're aware of what it does, you're very careful to direct it towards the center and leave an open path. The rest of you rush through, including the Scalebearers, in the minute you have. The wind is blowing in your face from Keyleth's position. It's kind of like stepping into the force of a hurricane. You have to put your hand in front of you to see–

LAURA: (shouts) Your breath smells pretty good, though, Keyleth.

MARISHA: Thanks, I tried to get a little of a sage thing.

ASHLEY: Sagey rosemary?

TRAVIS: Very minty.

MARISHA: A little orange blossom. It's nice.

ORION: I'm going to Prestidigitate a tiny air shield in front of me.

LIAM: When I bite into a York Peppermint Patty–

MARISHA: It's also pure oxygen, so we could get a little buzz.

MATT: It's a very, very tiny shield. It protects this much of your face.

ORION: That's what I'm doing.

MATT: Your eyes are fine. The rest of your robes are still (windblown cloth sounds).

ORION: Yeah.

MATT: You guys all make your way across the room. You then finish your spell and the mist immediately fills up and completely obfuscates that room behind you once more.

SAM: One down!

MARISHA: We made it!

SAM: 20 rooms to go.

MATT: You're now in what is a ten-foot-wide chamber for an additional– a tunnel or hallway– for another 20 feet before it opens up into another room, but there is no light source in there whatsoever. You, with Light on your staff again, you kind of step ahead to–

LAURA: Do you want to shoot an arrow in?

ORION: Oh, would you like to see?

LAURA: Yeah, let's do it.

ORION: Yeah, very good. Light.

MATT: All right, so as Vex releases her arrow, light bursts forth from the wooden shaft as it arcs across the room. As it does, you can see the room. As compared to the previous one that was square in shape, this one is circular. It is almost a cylinder in its design. Go ahead and make a perception check.

LAURA: 16.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: 29.

LAURA: He's better.

MATT: Okay. You notice that across this floor of the circular room, there are these circles marked across the entirety of the surface here.

LAURA: Great. Those are probably traps.

TRAVIS: I bet those are fun.

LAURA: Pressure plates, maybe?

ORION: Okay, or sigils or– maybe we have to activate them or not activate them?

TRAVIS: I have darkvision, now with a range of 60 feet.

SAM: Can we see to the other side of the room?

MATT: Hm?

SAM: Can we see all the way to the other side of the room?

MATT: Opposite side, there is actually a much larger opening and what looks to be another staircase that descends. This one is 20 feet wide. It's a very wide staircase from what you're used to seeing, especially in these structures.

SAM: And I'm hoping there's no door.

MATT: No doorway. It's open. It just descends down below. And the only way you can tell is that the arrow arcs across–

LIAM: Everybody stand back. I'm going to click my Boots of Haste–

LAURA: What? Shouldn't we throw something onto one of the pressure plates first and see what it does?

LIAM: Yeah, me. I'm going to click my Boots of Haste, I'm going to run, I'm going to do a sort of a running roll, land on the closest circle and wait for half a tick and then roll off of it.

LAURA: Are you kidding me?!

ORION: What are you doing?

TRAVIS: No, no, let him do it! Let him do it.

MATT: So as you guys are about to go, “Wait!”, Vax is already off. Clicks the boots. The arcane magic of the Boots of Haste kick into his body. He leaps forward. Make an acrobatics check.

LIAM: Okay. 22.

TRAVIS: I hope you get your eyebrows burned off.

MATT: All right. You leap forward. Your hand touches the first circle in the room. As it does, there's suddenly a large shift in the room. All of a sudden, the hand which you had purchase on slides out from underneath you. You catch yourself on your feet, but now suddenly there's a loud grinding sound and the entire room seems to be shifting, moving, spinning in its own right, and you instinctually feel something moving towards you very quickly. Make a dexterity saving throw, Liam.

SAM: Oh, boy.

LAURA: Vax!

ORION: I click my earring. You're an idiot, Vax.

LIAM: I'm going to use Luck because that blew. And that's a natural 20.

SAM AND MARISHA: Oh!

ASHLEY: Oh snap.

ORION: Yeah, 20!

ASHLEY: Yeah, 20.

MARISHA: Yeah!

MATT: So. You barely manage to move out of the way before that circular portion of the ground skyrockets up like a pillar– one very similar to the one that you created for your spell– slams into the ceiling with a heavy thud, retracts, and continues again. In fact, looking around you, all of them in the room are now, at different levels, pistoning into the ceiling. (repeated crashing rock noises) This entire room is slowly rotating and there's just a series of pillars mashing into the ceiling.

MARISHA: Oh, it's like a mini-game.

MATT: You have to make an acrobatics check to try and get through this now because you have very little space to move.

LIAM: Okay.

(laughter)

LIAM: I'm going to use Luck again.

MATT: (laughs)

LIAM: That is 18.

MATT: 18. You manage to make your way halfway across the room, dodging out of the way as these pillars are slamming and retracting. Kind of use the pattern of when they're pulling down from the ceiling, but they're moving very fast. One of them manages to catch you underneath your ankle. Go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw again.

LIAM: That is 15.

MATT: 15. All right.

TRAVIS: Uh-oh.

ASHLEY: You're going to hurt your foot again, Vax.

MATT: It catches you, takes you off of your balance, and it rockets you towards the ceiling. You manage to pull most of your body out of the way in time, but it still catches the back of your shoulder blade. You take 40 points of crushing damage.

TRAVIS: Yes! (cackles)

SAM: Ohhh!

MARISHA: Holy shit.

MATT: As you are slammed into the ceiling. And as the pillar retracts, you roll off with a heavy wheeze of pain. (groan) Catching onto your feet again. Make one more acrobatics check.

MARISHA: Oh my god. If you get crushed to death–

TRAVIS: (laughs) On Skype.

LIAM: That's a 23.

MATT: What was that?

TRAVIS: 23.

MATT: 23.

LIAM: I'm like an acrobatic cheetah. 23.

MATT: 23. You manage to– in the severe pain you're feeling, you can tell there's probably some serious bruising in there and you probably broke a couple of ribs, but you manage to just barely dodge and leap out of the way, making your way across the room to where the staircase descends, out of the immediate danger.

SAM: Ah.

LAURA: Jeez.

MATT: The rest of you now are standing on the opposite side of this room, which is currently a rotating grinding mill.

TRAVIS: That was great.

LIAM: I'd like to check if there's any kind of device or anything on this side–

ORION: Okay, hold on a second, Vax, just chill out for a minute. We all just took a little damage this last time.

LIAM: I'm just trying a perception check.

SAM: He's checking. He's checking.

MATT: All right, make a perception check.

MARISHA: For a lever or something.

TRAVIS: For a switch.

LIAM: 25.

SAM: 25.

MATT: 25. You can see, in the ceiling, in the very, very center of the room, precariously placed right where one of the pillars in the center slams into the ceiling, there appears to be a small quarter-sized hole, gold piece-sized hole in the ceiling.

ASHLEY: Yeah, come on, Vex.

TALIESIN: Race you for it.

MATT: It's in the middle of the room. In the ceiling, where–

LIAM: Is there a clear shot of it or is there (bang bang bang) going on?

MATT: Oh, no, it's still going. The pillars are still slamming into the roof. And that one hole you see is right where one of the pillars slams into the roof. You only see it intermittently when the pillar retracts.

MARISHA: Go, sharpshooters, go.

TALIESIN: You first, or me?

LAURA: Well, let's try this first because you might just break it down completely.

TALIESIN: Oh, very well.

LAURA: You are much more powerful than I am, Percy.

TRAVIS: Yeah, ladies first, perhaps.

TALIESIN: Ladies first.

LAURA: All right, can I try to shoot an arrow into the little hole?

MATT: You can. This is a hard shot because it's at an angle now. We're talking, this is Robin Hood-level split-the-arrow. Because you have to hit it and then ricochet upward to see if it'll have any effect.

LAURA: Oh, jeez Louise.

TRAVIS: Well, get up there.

MARISHA: I place my hands on her shoulders–

TRAVIS: Can you inspire?

SAM: I can inspire her.

MARISHA: And I give her Enhance Ability.

SAM: Ooh, Enhance Ability.

LAURA: Okay, what does that mean?

MARISHA: You have advantage on– oh, ability checks. It's just ability checks.

MATT: Ability checks. It's not going to help for an attack.

LAURA: This is, what, an attack?

MARISHA: Never mind.

MATT: This would be an attack.

TRAVIS: I would like to offer my beard for a rub of good luck.

LAURA: Thanks, Grog.

MATT: As you offer the beard, it tears off.

TRAVIS: What?

ASHLEY: Oh, no!

TRAVIS: What did you do?!

LAURA: You know what, I'm going to tie this to the arrow. It's going to give it really good luck.

SAM: That seems like it's aerodynamically–

LAURA: I'm not actually going to tie it to the arrow.

TALIESIN: Okay!

LAURA: I'm just going to tuck it–

MATT: Mark in your inventory, you now have Fake Grog Rope Beard.

TRAVIS: Is that a -1 to my confidence now?

MATT: (laughs) It will come into play.

TRAVIS: (cries)

ORION: So the goal is to shoot an arrow into this– like the Death Star?

MATT: Essentially, yeah.

LAURA: Yeah.

ORION: Okay, cool. As I see her ready, I'm going to hold up my hand with my ring and point it right at that hole.

MATT: To do–

LAURA: So you can deflect it if I–

ORION: I got your back.

LAURA: All right, thanks, Tiberius.

ORION: Get it, Vex.

MATT: All right, and you're going to–

SAM: I'm going to inspire her. With inspiration. I'll sing, (sings) Ooh ooh, shut up and shoot that hole! Your arrow is my destiny, yeah I said,

ALL: (sings) Ooh ooh, shut up and shoot that hole!

(laughs)

MATT: And with that, you feel your focus, you wait, you breathe in, you breathe out, you breathe in, you breathe out in pattern with the slamming of the piston against the ceiling.

LAURA: Oh, I'm so nervous.

ASHLEY: Get it, get it, get it, you're going to do it.

MATT: You let out all your breath and you hold, hold, hold, waiting between heartbeats, and then (twwt), release. Go ahead and make your attack roll.

LAURA: I'm going to roll the fancy one we got last week.

LIAM: Get it, girl. Get it.

LAURA: All right. (laughs) Oh, no. Okay. I add my attack bonus?

MATT: Yes, you do.

SAM: Plus an inspiration.

LAURA: Plus an inspiration dice?

MATT: Plus a d10.

ORION: Oh, shit.

MARISHA: (whispering) It's so quiet.

ORION: I know.

LAURA: Oh, that's awesome! Okay. 35.

(yelling)

TRAVIS: Good inspiration.

MATT: As you release the arrow, you see the pillars slamming. The pillar comes down just as the arrow crests over it, past another pillar that just barely manages to miss it by a segment.

ORION: I cast Telekinesis to swoop it up.

(whoosh)

SAM: Oh, god.

ORION: Just to help and guide it.

ASHLEY: No, but it's already gone in.

TRAVIS: We don't need it! We don't need it!

LAURA: Oh, let me just see if I got it first!

LIAM: She rolled a 35, we don't need shit.

ORION: It's going in there, anyway. I don't even have to roll.

MATT: So. As the pillar pulls down, the arrow goes cascading forward. Go ahead and make a d20 roll with the +5 modifier.

ORION: Sweet. That's 17.

MATT: 17? Okay. So as the arrow makes its way, it ricochets off the bottom edge of the actual hole and immediately bends itself upward, the shaft bending. As it begins to start heading up the hole, there's a sudden force of arcane energy that slams it even harder up into the top of this tiny little slit.

TRAVIS: Yeah, good.

MATT: As it goes up there, you hear what sounds like a splintering of wood and metal. Then you hear metal grinding. You start seeing bits and chunks of grinding metal begin to pour out of the hole and the pillars begin to (scraping stone).

LAURA: Hey.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Nice shot!

ASHLEY: Yeah, Vex!

MATT: Eventually coming to a halt.

MARISHA: A wrench in the machine.

TALIESIN: I could have done it.

LAURA: You totally could have done that.

TALIESIN: I could have made that shot.

SAM: Next room's yours.

TALIESIN: Yes, next room, next room's all mine.

ORION: That was one of those impossible things, right?

MATT: Pretty damn close to impossible.

ORION: I knew it.

LAURA: Nice.

MARISHA: (laughs) Pretty damn close to impossible.

SAM: All right, let's go across and heal our rogue.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we walk across.

LAURA: Yeah, all right.

LIAM: As they come to the other side, I clutch my broken rib and injuredly hold a hand up and give a half-assed high-five to my sister. (grunts)

LAURA: Good job getting slammed into the roof like that.

LIAM: Yeah, you're welcome.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: So can we take a short rest to heal up and then also a short rest to take a short rest in real life?

MATT: You can. We're going to go ahead and stop here. You're now taking a short rest.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: You guys take a moment. If you want to go ahead and heal up using any of your hit dice, you're able to, Vax.

MARISHA: I'm going to do that.

SAM: Me, too.

MATT: And on that note, we're going to go ahead and take our five-minute break here, guys.

TRAVIS: Cool.

SAM: Five.

MATT: While the party takes a short rest, we're taking a five-minute rest. We've got to be done by ten tonight with the stream, so.

SAM: Let's do it.

LAURA: Woo.

MATT: So we're going to take a five-minute break.

SAM: True five. True five.

Break
MATT: Orion, if you want to go ahead and come over, we're going to go ahead and give you guys– yes, sir?

ZAC: Bring them on up.

MATT: Okay, yeah, so we're going to go ahead and introduce our guests and give them an overview of the charity that we have currently on the stream tonight.

TRAVIS: That was great work, though.

LAURA: Yes.

MARISHA: Oh my god, I rolled two eights in a row.

TALIESIN: Nice!

MARISHA: That's awesome.

MATT: I'm going to pass this over to Orion.

ORION: Okay.

MATT: Come on over. Gonna enjoy my chickens.

SAM: Don't forget to go to Teespring and buy our T-shirts.

LAURA: Oh, let– no! We haven't even talked about it at all!

MATT: Yes! By the way, our T-shirts are on Teespring. We'll have six more days.

SAM: Six more days.

MARISHA: They also just went up on our website, on critrole.com. So you can go to our website and find the link.

MATT: All right, guys, we'll see you in a little bit. Meanwhile, take it away.

SAM: I'm going to tweet the Teespring link right now.

ZAC: Lucas, go fullscreen.

MARISHA: Sam is tweeting it.

ORION: Give me that chair.

ZAC: Cool. Are you good, man?

ORION: Yeah.

ZAC: Sweet.

ORION: We had points. We had points. Are we standing for this?

TAYLOR: Yeah.

ORION: Tell me that for the chat thing. Hi, everybody! Orion Acaba here and Taylor Carol. This is our special guest. And he's with GameChanger, and he has a couple of things to say for this particular awesome charity that we are working with today with SquareEnix and the Deus Ex anniversary.

TAYLOR: Yeah.

MARISHA: Taylor!

TAYLOR: Well, first of all, on behalf of GameChanger, I just want to say what a blast it is to be with you guys. Personally, I've never watched D&D before. You guys have made me a huge fan.

ORION: Yes.

TAYLOR: And, yeah. So a little bit of backstory about GameChanger. About nine years ago, I was diagnosed terminal form of cancer. I was given about two weeks left to live, but thankfully it's been a long two weeks. I'm totally healthy now.

(cheers)

TAYLOR: Thank you. But when I was sick, the most incredible thing that I saw was the impact that video games had on the people and on the children that were fighting cancer and other rare diseases. And witnessing the incredible good of the game community of video games. My dad and I resolved to make an organization that used and capitalized on that incredible good of the video games, of the gaming community, to help those suffering from rare diseases. And so one year later, GameChanger charity was born, and we started out just collecting games from the incredible gaming community, giving them back to kids suffering from rare diseases. And seven years later it evolved into what we have now. Now we're sponsored with some incredible gaming organizations like Square. A huge thanks to them for partnering with us for this awesome campaign. But yeah, today we go into hospitals and do things called GameChanger days where we go and we bring food for the staff, for the families, for the kids suffering from rare diseases. We bring them gaming packages so they can bond together. We provide college scholarships, and we really just try and provide hope and inspiration– the same hope and inspiration that games really provided me when I was sick.

ORION: Yeah. That's awesome. And we here at–

TAYLOR: Oh, thank you. No, thank you guys.

ORION: And we here at Critical Role really love organizations like yours, which is why when we started talking, it was such a nice partnership for you to come on and tell us about this organization. Tell everybody where they can find to help, if they wanted to send to GameChanger.

TAYLOR: Yeah, GameChanger. Yeah.

ORION: Yeah, where would they go for that, to check it out?

TAYLOR: To support GameChanger, to learn more about what we do, you can visit www.gamechangercharity.org, and if you go to our website, you can see our campaign with Deus Ex. You can go online and if you donate anything more than a dollar, you get a free copy, a director's cut–

ORION: Oh! Well, awesome. That's cool. I'll probably do that too. It sounds like it's pretty sweet. And I want to thank you, the rest, with all of us. I'm doing this because I'm currently fighting cancer. I have– I don't have that bad of a trek to go through, but it is very inconvenient and painful, but hearing stories like you. I mean, you're 20. He has a beautiful singing voice. He's a singer. And you're going to Harvard, is that what's going on?

TAYLOR: I am, yeah, I'm a rising junior.

ORION: Stupid doctors, they don't know shit. But people like you inspire me, because up until a few months ago, I didn't need any of that kind of inspiration. So it's great, and your organization's great, so we just wanted to thank you for coming on and speaking with everybody and letting everybody know, and we'll be working together in the future, too, and we'll be doing lots of fun stuff, so yeah. Check these guys out, please.

LAURA: Donate, donate.

ASHLEY: What are you studying at Harvard?

TAYLOR: I am an English concentrator.

ORION: Whoa.

MARISHA: Nice.

TAYLOR: Yeah, yeah.

LAURA: I don't even know what that means.

ORION: Hold on a second. Do you mean like you concentrate on English?

TAYLOR: (English accent) English primarily.

ORION: Oh, very good. Okay, cool. That's like my second language.

TAYLOR: You guys have to teach me better accents. I love all of your accents.

ORION: (laughs) Any other questions for our guest, guys?

ZAC: I'd like to let everybody know, the mods all have access to the GameChanger command in the chatroom, so if you guys are watching and are not in the chat, just join the chat really quick and you guys will be able to get that link for the donation link to get Deus Ex and anything over a dollar and you get a copy of the game. We're going to go ahead and let that run all the way throughout the rebroadcast and throughout the weekend, so mods, just keep spamming that throughout the chat.

LAURA: So donations tonight are going to GameChanger, yeah?

ORION: Yeah.

ZAC: It's up to you guys whether or not you want 826LA to go to GameChanger because the link right now just goes to Critical Role, so it's up to you guys for where it goes from there.

ORION: So we can do that.

LAURA: Awesome. I think donations tonight will definitely go to GameChanger, yeah.

ORION: Yeah, so that's what we'll do. Awesome!

TAYLOR: Thank you all.

ORION: Right now. That's the decision.

TAYLOR: Go team.

MARISHA: Tell them it's the last day.

ORION: And this is our last day. Is that right?

TAYLOR: Yes, so this is the last day to get your copy–

ORION: For the Deus Ex thing.

ZAC: Okay, then I will not let it run over the weekend.

ORION: Yeah. But again, dude, thank you for coming on.

TAYLOR: Hey, thank you.

ORION: And we'll break because I have to pee really bad. But thank you so much.

TAYLOR: Thank you.

ZAC: So guys, just to be clear, all of your donations tonight will go towards GameChanger, but if you want a copy of the game, just go and donate a dollar on the link that we have access to in the chatroom. And just so you guys know, there will not be time for them to read messages tonight after the show. Lucas and I both have to catch a flight, so sorry. We'll get to them next time.

TAYLOR: Anything more than a dollar.

ZAC: Anything more than a dollar, to be clear. Anything more than a dollar.

ASHLEY: Go donate. Just do it!

ZAC: Listen to Ashley. We're also really close to another giveaway, guys. If you guys subscribe, I think we're only like ten away from another giveaway, a large giveaway, which is a signed Player's Handbook and a signed photo of the cast. And every 50 we'll do a giveaway until the show's over tonight. We will not be going late, so just keep in mind, guys, don't send Geek & Sundry messages upset that your message wasn't read. We'll get to it next time. We appreciate you guys donating and Lucas, go ahead and go to drop cam. Yeah, go drop cam.

Part II
MATT: Welcome back.

ZAC: I had a really quick announcement before we get back into the game. The winner is Paula Konito, so congratulations–

MARISHA: Paula Konito!

MATT: Paula Konito, congrats!

MARISHA: Paula Konito!

ZAC: – and I understand that we crashed their website for donations–

MATT: (laughs)

ASHLEY: What?

ZAC: So congratulations, guys, for crashing the website, but what is not crashed is our donation link, so if you scroll down and click on the 826LA link, all of the donations that are made tonight they've said will go to GameChanger.

LAURA: Yeah, the portion of the donations that would normally go to 826LA tonight are going to go to GameChanger.

ZAC: So just scroll down on the channel page, click on 826LA or the donate link that's being spammed in the chat room, and all of those donations will go to GameChanger. And they let us know before they left, they just got 10,000 more Deus Ex keys, so we will let that run throughout the weekend.

TRAVIS: That's amazing.

LAURA: Oh, awesome.

ORION: Nice!

ZAC: So the mods will keep spamming that throughout the weekend and you guys can donate throughout the rebroadcast and things like that for a one-dollar Deus Ex code.

LAURA: Anything over a dollar.

ZAC: Anything over a dollar, yeah.

MATT: That's so awesome.

ZAC: One-oh-one! Enjoy Deus Ex.

MATT: Yeah! Thank you guys so much.

LAURA: It would be good if you donated more than one dollar, if you want.

TALIESIN: It's still needed.

MATT: The Critters are strong. The Critters are legion.

TRAVIS: It is. They are.

MATT: It's amazing the things we can do.

ORION: It is on. YES.

TALIESIN: There are Critters in the walls.

MARISHA: They're in the god–

MARISHA AND TALIESIN: – damn walls!

TALIESIN: Thank you for being there with me on that.

MATT: All righty, so! Back into the fray.

LAURA: Oh, god, okay.

MATT: You guys, after finishing your short rest, healing up various wounds in that circumstance–

SAM: (plays note on flute)

(laughter)

MATT: You make your way, playing a fancy little ditty on the flute. You make your way down this long, long staircase. You continue down for, I'd say, probably a good hundred feet or so before you start encountering, I'll say, a mild change in the scenery, at least. What was normally just a musty hallway is becoming thicker and thicker coated with large spiderwebs.

LAURA: Ugh.

TRAVIS: Awesome.

ORION: Everything's so sticky.

ASHLEY: Spiders!

MATT: You manage to push through and cut through, but it gets to the point where it's just so matted you guys are having to bushwhack your way through as if you had a machete.

TALIESIN: I'm not taking off my mask.

TRAVIS: Can I turn to one of those (clears throat) Scalebearers and ask if they've ever dealt with any umber-hulks in this region.

MATT: Scalebearer Vorak gives kind of a curious look to your question. Scalebearer Desona looks to you and says, “No, I don't believe they exist in this region. Nor this close to the surface, as far as I know.”

TRAVIS: Right. That's important, isn't it.

ORION: Are the spiderwebs– are they becoming more as we traverse–

MATT: Yes, they're getting thicker and thicker.

ORION: Okay, so I'm going to make my way towards the front of the group because I'm noticing this and I'm going to do a Fire Breath, and I'm going to instantly cast Control Flame and catch as much as I can of it, and start spinning it, burning the webs as we go.

MATT: Okay. Very cool. So, Tiberius steps forward and breathes a heating breath of dragon fire out of his mouth. As it cascades forward, burning through the nearby webs, he casts a secondary spell and captures it and begins to shape it, almost like it's a fiery clay in the middle of the air. And he utilizes it in a very similar way to how he uses Telekinesis and begins to use that rolling fire to burn through the webbing as you guys continue down the stairway.

LAURA: Nice.

TALIESIN: That's convenient.

MARISHA: At least it'll be disinfected.

ORION: Mm-hm-hm. Fire cleans all.

MATT: It also leaves a terrible stench. Burning web has this awful kind of–

TRAVIS: Burnt hair?

MATT: It's similar. Burnt hair with burnt plastic, if you can think of it– it's awful.

LAURA: What's plastic?

MATT: This is more for your own player knowledge, sensory knowledge.

(laughter)

MATT: The sound of crackling of the nearby webbing that's slowly retracting and burning and melting is immediately joined by the sound of a low clicking.

(groaning)

LAURA: I stealth immediately.

MARISHA: Oh, that frickin' sound. Do we– I can try to cast Pass Without a Trace on all of us, if we want to sneak through here.

LAURA: Oh, yeah, that would be good!

MARISHA: Do you want to try to sneak through?

TRAVIS: Yeah, do it.

MARISHA: I cast Pass Without a Trace.

TRAVIS: Now let's vogue. This changes every time!

ORION: Sweet!

MATT: All right, so Pass Without a Trace is cast, while you two both make stealth rolls.

LAURA: So, with the Pass Without a Trace?

MATT: With the Pass Without a Trace, yes.

LAURA: 31.

ORION: (quietly, to Marisha) Is my magic on stealth, too?

LIAM: 24.

MATT: With the plus ten?

LIAM: Plus ten from what? Say again?

LAURA: Pass Without a Trace.

MATT: Keyleth cast Pass Without a Trace.

LIAM: Oh, 34.

MATT: All right. You guys dart off to the side, kind of using the remnants of the web to block your physical forms. The boiling fire that has been placed ahead of you is starting to reflect small little points of reflected light throughout the shadows in the distance that are moving towards you as you see giant hairy arachnid legs.

ORION: I back up! I have my cloak on. And I'm going to go ahead and cast Stoneskin. That's what I do right now.

MATT: You cast Stoneskin? I'm going to go ahead and ask–

MARISHA: I'm also going to cast Stoneskin.

LAURA: Can I cast, while they're coming– where did I write it down?

SAM: I'm going to go invisible.

LAURA: Never mind, I can't find my spell.

SAM: This is exciting, guys. There's a board of some sort.

LAURA: I cast Entangle on the ground.

MATT: In front?

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: You have– you can cast things?

LAURA: (quickly) Yeah, yeah, yeah!

ORION: (quietly) Yeah, she's a ranger, she can cast stuff.

TRAVIS: Apparently.

TALIESIN: As long as it's at range.

SAM: Grog, you've got a beard spell.

TRAVIS: I do.

TALIESIN: That was my terrible joke and I wish I hadn't. Now I'm embarrassed.

TRAVIS: I can also cast Flatulence.

SAM: And you have Frenzied Rage.

MATT: All right. You can now see skittering off to the side what appear to be a series of large arachnid-like creatures. As you cast Entanglement, you can–

LAURA: I'm reading it now.

MATT: Go ahead and read the spell.

ORION: Did I manage to catch with the Control Flame my entire Fire Breath when I did that? And I'm controlling it still?

MATT: Currently you are.

LAURA: Oh, that's not what it was. That's the wrong spell. Sorry, sorry, it's Spike Growth, is the spell.

SAM: Spikes growth?

LAURA: I cast Spike Growth.

MATT: Spike Growth, okay, that is different.

LAURA: Yes, which is– the ground in a 20-foot radius centered on a point within range twists and sprouts hard spikes and thorns. It's difficult terrain for the duration, but anybody that can see me casting it doesn't take damage to it, it's only the people that don't see me casting it.

MARISHA: Dope.

SAM: Really?

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Yeah. Any creature that can't see the area at the time the spell is cast must make a wisdom check.

ORION: Cool.

SAM: All right, but can they see the area?

MATT: They can see the area.

LAURA: Oh. Well, that's not quite the same thing, then, what I saw. (yells) Forget it, my spell is stupid!

SAM: No, no!

ORION: It's fine, just not in a hallway with stairs.

LAURA: I know!

SAM: It's fine, just stick to arrows, really.

ASHLEY: She can do so much more than just arrows!

ORION: As I see this, can I release my Control Flame and let the Fire Breath just happen, and not control it anymore?

MATT: Looking into your spell now. Oh, Control Flames is a cantrip. You are able to control just enough fire to burn away the things. It wouldn't actually do any damage if released. Control Fire kind of like captures an element of it.

ORION: Okay. So that's what I was using, the element of what I did.

MATT: Yeah.

ORION: So I used it so I could have the fire.

MATT: Exactly.

ORION: Got it.

MATT: You set it as a catalyst to it.

LAURA: They can see the ground.

MATT: They can.

LAURA: Then no, don't cast it.

TRAVIS: Doesn't it mess up the ground if we try to walk through it?

LAURA: Not you guys, but they–

MARISHA: But they're spiders. They're probably not that wise.

ORION: Can I cast something else?

MATT: No. Right now everyone rolls initiative.

ORION: Damn it!

ASHLEY: Ugh.

MATT: There are only so many things you can do here, Tiberius.

ORION: I know, but I like doing lots of things.

MATT: I know you do.

MARISHA: That's not bad! I'll take that.

SAM: I lost my dice.

LAURA: That's my punishment.

TRAVIS: Fuck, yeah.

TALIESIN: I love my new stats.

LAURA: I don't think that should count.

TALIESIN: I rolled terribly this time but my stats are good.

SAM: Every time, every time.

ORION: What?

SAM: I've never rolled a double digit initiative roll, ever.

MATT: Oh, Scanlan, but you roll when it counts.

TRAVIS: Just Wil Wheaton roll every time you do initiative.

TALIESIN: Is that what we're calling it? Wheatoning?

TRAVIS: Yeah, Wheatoning.

LAURA: Wheatoning? Yeah.

TALIESIN: All right.

TRAVIS: Wheatoning.

SAM: (announcer voice) Wha-Wha-Wheaton.

MATT: All right, so. 25-20.

ASHLEY: Natural 20.

(yelling)

ASHLEY: I don't think that ever happens when it's like damage or something.

MATT: That's okay.

LAURA: 23.

ASHLEY: I'm gonna go with it.

MATT: Okay, so 23. Grog, what have you got?

TRAVIS: 21.

MATT: Okay, so we've got Vex, Grog, and Pike, what's your dex? What's your initiative bonus?

ASHLEY: Nothing.

MATT: Nothing, so 20. All right. 20 to 15?

MARISHA: 17.

MATT: 17, Keyleth.

ORION: 15.

TALIESIN: 16.

MATT: All right, Percy. Tiberius. Vax?

LAURA: He's gone.

MATT: Has left the screen.

TRAVIS: Oh, really?

SAM: Great.

ASHLEY: Last.

MATT: I'm going to consider that a low initiative.

MARISHA: Oh-ho-ho-ho.

ORION: He just went to go poop.

SAM: Seven!

MATT: Seven for Scanlan.

ORION: Or deal with–

MATT: All right, we'll get to his turn when we get to it.

ASHLEY: (yells) Vax!

MATT: It's okay. All right, Vex.

MARISHA: Wait, there he is.

SAM: He's holding a cat.

ORION: He has a cat.

SAM: It's Trinket! It's Trinket!

MATT: What did you roll for initiative?

LIAM: That is a 16.

MATT: 16?

ORION: Okay.

TRAVIS: Get your head out of your ass.

SAM: He's Dr. Evil.

(laughter)

MATT: All right, Vex.

LAURA: Me?

MATT: Yes.

LAURA: Oh! I'm going to cast Conjure Barrage at all of the spiders coming at us.

MATT: All righty.

LAURA: I'm going to Hunter's Mark whatever one looks the biggest.

MATT: Okay, from this position you will also hit Tiberius to hit all the spiders.

LAURA: Oh, where am I?

MATT: You're right here.

LAURA: Oh.

TRAVIS: You gotta do what you gotta do. (laughs) Sorry.

MATT: I mean, you could–

LAURA: I'm going to move to where I'm in the middle of them. I'm still kind of stuck.

MATT: Right there?

MARISHA: Get it!

LAURA: Yeah, and then I'll Conjure Barrage from there.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: (quietly) Don't encourage it.

LAURA: I cast Hunter's Mark on the biggest one I see.

MATT: Okay, this one here is one of the larger ones.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: So I'm going to go ahead and mark that one. So go ahead and– Conjure Barrage does what damage?

TRAVIS: (quietly) Hate it.

LAURA: It does 3d8 on all creatures.

MATT: Do they get a saving throw?

LAURA: They get– yes, they do. They get half-damage if they save.

MATT: Mmkay. What's the DC on your spells?

LAURA: (in a funny gruff voice) My DC is 14.

ORION: (laughs)

MATT: All righty.

ORION: (mimicking Laura's gruff voice) MemememememeME.

MARISHA: What's your DC, girl?

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: What's yo digits? Gimme those stats.

MATT: Okay, all you need–

LAURA: Do I need to roll for attack?

MATT: Only this one makes it.

LAURA: Oh, sweet!

MATT: No, the barrage just happens. They're all caught in it.

LAURA: Okay, cool.

MATT: So all of them take full damage, except for this one takes half damage, so go ahead and roll the damage on that.

LAURA: Okay. 3d8. 15, and then 20 for the big one with the Hunter's Mark.

MATT: All righty. So. So you moved, did that. Do you want to move Trinket as well?

LAURA: Can I have Trinket attack?

MATT: Trinket–

LAURA: Oh, that's a lot of them.

MATT: Well, that, and the spell you cast was an action. Trinket can attack as part of your attack round.

LAURA: Okay, so I get a second attack?

MATT: Well, no, your spell was an action. So that's your turn. You do Conjure Barrage instead of your attack.

LAURA: Cool, I'm going to step back against the wall.

MATT: All right, so you step back there. Do you want to move Trinket anywhere in particular?

LAURA: Nah, he can't really get anywhere, it's fine.

MATT: All right, Trinket is there and– (bear noises)

LAURA: It's good times, guys.

MATT: Angrily, a growl in the distance. Grog, you're up.

TRAVIS: I'd like to hold my turn.

SAM: What?

ORION: Ooh, yeah!

MATT: All right, Grog holds initiative.

ORION: Strategy.

MARISHA: Must be something good.

MATT: Pike, you're up.

ASHLEY: Okay, how far can I move up to use a Spiritual Weapon? I can't tell where I'm at. I'm sorry, I didn't wear my glasses.

MATT: I mean, you can move through your allies without an issue. You can shift through your own guys without a problem.

ASHLEY: Okay, so I would like to cast a golden spiderweb of thorns.

SAM: Ooh.

LAURA: (gasps) What?

MARISHA: Ooh.

ORION: (laughs) Nice!

TALIESIN: Fancy.

MATT: All right. Okay.

ASHLEY: And encase the spiders.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: That's cool.

MATT: Okay.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Like a thorny net.

MATT: This would be considered a net, if we are considering a weapon that you are conjuring for this.

ASHLEY: I'm just making it look really pretty.

MATT: Right.

ASHLEY: Basically.

TRAVIS: (quietly) It looks so pretty.

MATT: So the effect of this– I'm letting you hit multiple guys with this. It would not do any damage.

ASHLEY: It wouldn't do any damage, it would just contain them?

MATT: It would possibly have an effect on their ability–

ASHLEY: Even if they're thorny? Even like holy thorns? Oh.

MATT: It would be very itchy for them.

ASHLEY: All right, you know what?

ORION: Oh. Well, I mean, that's not out of–

LAURA: I think you should stick with it, it's awesome.

SAM: Yeah, man, commit.

ASHLEY: Okay. Contain them.

ORION: Yeah, it's thematic.

ASHLEY: Contain them and then somebody could just–

LAURA: Fireball.

ASHLEY: Throw fire, a fireball at them.

MATT: All right, go ahead and roll a d20 and then add five to it.

ASHLEY: Okay. 12.

MATT: 12? Okay. These four in the immediate front, right there, as you bring back your mace in the air, you kind of hang onto the side with the leather strap around your wrist. You reach up and grab your holy symbol. As you release the holy symbol to hold your hand up, divine energy streaks out from your fingertips and forms into this kind of gold and silver net. As your arm is doing this kind of throwing animation in the air like that, the net shoots out from the front and spreads down onto the spiders and contracts around. You can see it catches them and they start scrambling inside. These front four are considered grappled.

(cheering)

ASHLEY: All right, all right!

MATT: The one in the back managed to avoid it.

ORION: Cool.

LAURA: Nice!

MARISHA: Nice!

MATT: That's it? That brings it to Keyleth.

MARISHA: Okay, with that new development–

ORION: Wait. Can you do lightning?

MARISHA: I can. I'm going to do Poison Spray, though. Where am I right now?

MATT: You're right here. Behind Pike as she threw her giant golden net.

MARISHA: I'm going to be like, 'scuse me, 'scuse me, Pike, 'scuse me. Sorry, sorry.

ASHLEY: Yes? Oh, go through, go through, go go go!

MARISHA: Thank you, thank you, thank you.

ASHLEY: Tag you in! Tag you in!

MARISHA: (whoosh) Poison Spray! It's a ten-foot cone.

MATT: Ten-foot cone. If you want to get right up in here you could get these three there.

MARISHA: I'll do that.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: (whoosh) So, it's a constitution saving throw.

MATT: Okay. This one succeeds, this one fails, this one fails.

SAM: (singing along with the battle music) It's the music that means we're having a fight.

MATT: All right. So, this one succeeds, so no damage, but these two take damage. Go ahead and roll it.

MARISHA: Okay, so they take 2d12. Six. Ugh. Seven damage.

MATT: Seven damage to each.

MARISHA: It's not great. I think he takes half damage, though, even though he fails.

MATT: Does he? I think Poison Mist–

MARISHA: Poison Spray.

MATT: Oh, Poison Spray. It's a cantrip. I think it's damage or nothing.

MARISHA: Oh, yeah, I guess so.

MATT: All right. It's your move, do you want to keep moving or do you want to stay where you are?

MARISHA: Can I get out of everyone's way?

MATT: You're currently– actually, down from where you cast it, you would be able to move out, yeah.

MARISHA: Can I back up a little bit? Yeah.

MATT: You can, they're still grappled.

MARISHA: I just kind of want to– yeah.

MATT: To there. All right.

MARISHA: Your turn!

MATT: That ends your turn. Vax, Percy.

TALIESIN: Please, be my guest.

LIAM: Did you say Vax, Percy?

MATT: Yes.

TRAVIS: Yep.

LIAM: I'm doing my best seeing from where I can see here. Keyleth is right in front of me?

MATT: She was. She just pulled behind you.

MARISHA: I moved behind.

LAURA: Now you're in front of the spiders.

MARISHA: You're good, you're in front.

LIAM: Okay, there's a little bit of distance, so I'm just going to start hucking daggers at them. I'm going to start with dagger of life stealing.

MARISHA: You're only two squares away.

LIAM: That is a 16 to hit.

MATT: 16 to hit? Hits.

LIAM: Okay, so that is four, six, is ten of damage.

MATT: All right.

LIAM: Then the keen dagger follows. That is a 27.

MATT: That hits.

LIAM: That hits for ten damage, and then–

LAURA: You're killing them!

LIAM: And then the flametongue dagger.

MATT: You're not Hasted anymore, by the way.

LIAM: You're right, forget it, yeah, forget that last. That's right, two.

MATT: So as you're off to the side hiding among the slowly burning webbing, you move around, huck both daggers. One strikes a spider right in the center of where its eyes are and it screeches for a second before it curls up, its legs kind of pulling into its torso. The other one begins to pull out of the net that Pike set, and as it does you throw the secondary dagger. It strikes it in its abdomen, and the blade retracts and returns to your belt, and as it does, it leaves this streak of greenish liquid. And you have a better view of these spiders now. Go ahead and make a nature check, both Keyleth and Vex.

MARISHA: Dope.

ORION: By the way, I'm here, but I'm also there.

MARISHA: Natural 20.

(yelling)

MATT: You're also there?

ORION: Cloak of Displacement.

LAURA: Good, because I rolled an eight.

MATT: Oh.

ORION: There's like two of me.

MATT: All right. So, Keyleth

SAM: (whistles with the battle music)

MATT: You notice as most spider-like creatures go, you're used to like the darker, furry, wolf-spider types. These have a different color. Their physical bodies are more white and blue. Their coloration is mostly white but with a kind of bluish hue to it and their eyes are almost pink-white in color.

LAURA: Ugh.

ASHLEY: Because they live underground. There's no sunlight.

MATT: They're a very strange, different kind of spider.

LIAM: I don't like this.

MARISHA: Is that all I know, with my natural 20?

MATT: You haven't encountered too many types of arachnids, but there's something about them that seems loosely themed in the ethereal.

LAURA: Oh.

MARISHA: Hm.

MATT: You in your experience, you've heard of certain spiders that can travel through the planes rapidly.

ORION: Now damn plane spiders?

TRAVIS: Maybe we don't have to kill it, maybe they just (pfft).

MARISHA: Gotcha. Hey, guys, I think these are like magical bamf-ing spiders.

ORION: Oh.

TALIESIN: Okay.

SAM: Cool, bro, let's kill them.

MARISHA: Yeah, let's kill them.

TALIESIN: There's one spider that's not caught?

LAURA: There's what, there's three spiders left?

MATT: Yes, one back here.

TALIESIN: All right, I'm going to take a couple of shots at it with my Sharpshooter, so let's start with 24 to hit?

MATT: What was it?

TALIESIN: 24 to hit?

MATT: That hits.

TALIESIN: And let's do this. My first shot–

SAM: Ka-pew!

TALIESIN: That's depressing. Well, I get the bonus, so that's 18 points of damage.

MATT: 18 points of damage? All righty.

MARISHA: That's not too depressing.

ASHLEY: That's not depressing at all.

TRAVIS: That's not depressing.

TALIESIN: That's not too depressing. It's because I'm taking a negative five to hit.

LAURA: Oh.

TALIESIN: And that's– oh, that's not bad. I have new numbers. 16 to hit.

MATT: 16 does also hit, yeah.

TALIESIN: Aha!

MATT: Same target?

TALIESIN: Same target, with an added fire bonus. Three fire damage and 17 as well.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: 17 plus three fire damage.

ASHLEY: That bonus is awesome.

LAURA: He is so dead.

MATT: (gunshot noise) That spider gets splattered. You see there's a burst of flame and a (explosion noise) as its body is knocked in the air, torn asunder, and then consumed by the flame burst at the same time. You see what looks like a scattering of ash across the ground and the steps beneath it.

MARISHA: It looks like flash paper?

MATT: Essentially, yeah.

TALIESIN: And I duck back behind Grog.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Where are you going?

MATT: All right. These two spiders that are currently caught in the net both (whoosh) vanish and the net falls flat.

LAURA: Oh, bamf-ing spiders.

MATT: (teleportation noise)

TALIESIN: Oh, shit.

MATT: One is striking at you.

LAURA: Me?

MATT: That is a 21 to hit.

LAURA: It hits me.

MATT: And against Percy, that is a 25.

TALIESIN: Oh my god, that hits.

MATT: All right. You both take 13 points of piercing damage

TALIESIN: Ow!

MATT: And I need you both to make a constitution saving throw.

(groaning)

TALIESIN: Oh, bugger.

MARISHA: That can't be good.

TALIESIN: 13 points of piercing damage?

MATT: Mm-hm.

MARISHA: They poofed. Poofers.

LAURA: 17? Oh, wait. 19.

MATT: 19 constitution saving throw.

TALIESIN: Constitution saving throw. (blows raspberry)

MARISHA: Oh, no, Percy!

TALIESIN: Rolled a one.

MATT: So as all of a sudden, the strange (teleportation noise) sound streaks behind you, you turn over your shoulder just in time to see the spiders pop out of seemingly nowhere and strike into you. The fangs sink into your side and you knock them off with your elbow.

LAURA: (grunts in pain)

MATT: You feel the venom extract itself from the fangs, but just as you pull it out of the side, so it actually does not envenom your body. Percy, you're not so lucky. The venom pulses into the side of your shoulder.

TALIESIN: (groans in pain)

MATT: And you feel this burning sensation ripple through your entire upper right torso. You take 21 points of poison damage.

MARISHA: Oh, shit!

LIAM: What was that number, again?

ALL: 21.

SAM: He's fine, he's fine.

MARISHA: Is that all it does, just poison him?

MATT: Yep.

TALIESIN: I am poisoned, though.

MATT: You are not considered poisoned. It's the damage that's poison.

LAURA: Oh, it's straight-up damage.

MARISHA: Okay, that's not too bad.

TALIESIN: It could be worse.

MATT: That ends their turn. Tiberius? You're still holding your turn, Grog?

TRAVIS: Mm-hm.

MARISHA: I did take Protection From Poison.

LAURA: I should cast that on us.

MARISHA: If that's necessary.

MATT: All right, Tiberius?

ORION: So we're in a hallway, a stairwell?

MATT: Yes, it's a stairway heading down, essentially, right here, and then it evens out at the bottom point there.

MARISHA: Fighting on the stairs.

ORION: Is it like a big–

MATT: It's about 15 feet up to the ceiling. Ten, 15.

ORION: Oh. Very well. How many are left, two?

MATT: Two.

LAURA: Yeah.

ORION: Obelisk of Stone.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Squishy spiders.

ORION: Yeah, these squishy spiders.

MATT: So as both the spiders are knocked off both Percy and Vex, you guys kind of rear back, ready to defend yourselves. Suddenly the stairwell shakes for a second and pillars of stone go (stone crushing noises) from underneath. Similar to the trap room you encountered earlier.

ORION: That's it. 21.

MATT: 21? And what's the DC on your spell?

ORION: 17.

MATT: 17? Both spiders get mashed pretty horribly into the ceiling. You see where the pillars are slammed into the ceiling permanently. You can see the legs kind of dangling out for a second and then slowly curl in towards where the edge of the stone pillars are at the ceiling.

LAURA: Eat it.

MARISHA: Are there any corpses that are more accessible than the one that got torched and the ones that are squished?

TRAVIS: Yeah, are there any spider fangs we can put in the bag?

MARISHA: Yeah, because I have that book that helps me do that now.

TALIESIN: There's the one I shot.

MATT: You can, actually, there are– there's one that you shot. No, actually, the one that you killed is the one that burst into flame.

TALIESIN: Yes, the one that burst into flame.

MATT: That one's not going to be salvageable. There's a few that you and Vex killed. Vex and Vax both just kind of wiped out a few of the spiders. Go ahead and make an herbalism roll.

LAURA: Ooh, I bet we can get some of that poison. Dip the arrows in it.

MARISHA: What did the book do again, gave me a plus or an advantage? Did it give me an advantage on rolls or like a plus something?

MATT: I asked you to write that down. I will say advantage.

MARISHA: Oh, wait, you did ask me to write it down and I think I did.

MATT: Advantage or a bonus, which of the two is it?

MARISHA: Oh, no, I didn't write it down, I just wrote that I have the books.

MATT: Ah. I don't remember what I did for that. I will say advantage. That's the easiest to remember.

MARISHA: That's better. 24.

MATT: 24. You managed to extract two poison glands from one of the spiders. The other ones were too damaged beyond repair.

LAURA: Ooh.

ORION: Sweet.

MARISHA: Two poison glands.

MATT: Two small venom glands.

ORION: Nice.

MARISHA: I give them to the twins.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Oh, we can just use them?

MATT: You don't know.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: She hands you two nasty-looking glands that are still wet with spider ichor.

MARISHA: I got this for you guys.

LAURA: Oh, thank you, Keyleth.

TRAVIS: Do you want me to hold onto them?

LIAM: That's very… that's sweet. I love it.

LAURA: Tiberius, would you happen to have a little glass vial or something I could put this in?

ORION: I think I have two left.

LAURA: Oh!

ORION: I need to get more.

TRAVIS: I have them.

ORION: Oh, here we go. (pop)

LAURA: Thank you.

TALIESIN: (laughs) Well.

TRAVIS: I'm like a Wal-Mart over here. You could have asked me, but that's cool.

MARISHA: Your book helps.

SAM: I'm ready to make my attack turn.

MATT: All right. There is nothing there.

(laughter)

SAM: I sheath my sword.

MATT: There you go.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: A little help here, please? Would be nice.

ASHLEY: Yes.

LAURA: Oh. Oh, wait, I thought you weren't poisoned– oh, you need healing because you are–

ASHLEY: What are you at?

TALIESIN: I'm at 47.

LAURA: Okay.

ASHLEY: Okay.

SAM: Eh, you're fine. Suck it up.

ASHLEY: I guess we all need some– what's everybody else at?

LIAM: Ah, that's what I was at after I healed myself with a handful of hit dice after getting crushed into the ceiling.

LAURA: Yeah, but we took a short break and we're not doing that now.

SAM: Use your hit dice, you'll be fine.

TALIESIN: I could just use my– oh.

ASHLEY: Um, hold on.

MATT: Are you guys taking a short rest, is that what you're doing?

LAURA: No.

TRAVIS: No, no.

MARISHA: No, we're good.

ASHLEY: Let me heal you up, Percy, hold on.

LAURA: Can I ask a question while she's healing Percy?

ORION: We've taken a short rest already, right?

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: The grappling arrow I used on the little halfling, I can get that back, right?

MATT: Yeah, you retrieved it.

LAURA: Just making sure.

SAM: I'll continue on down the hallway.

TRAVIS: I join him.

MATT: Keyleth, are you still using Pass Without a Trace?

MARISHA: No.

LAURA: No?

SAM: She had to break it to use Stoneskin.

MATT: It's a concentration spell, isn't it?

MARISHA: Yeah, but I cast Stoneskin on myself.

MATT: You did. All right. So go ahead and make a stealth roll.

MARISHA: Sorry.

SAM: Not good. Nine.

TRAVIS: I'm with you.

MATT: Nine. All right.

SAM: (nasal voice) Nine.

ASHLEY: Nine, Percy.

LIAM: I would like to continue to stealth ahead of the group and also continue checking for traps.

SAM: We already went.

TRAVIS: Scanlan's already ahead of you.

LAURA: Sam already said it.

LIAM: Oh, he is?

MATT: As you stealthily move along the side of the wall, Scanlan comes pattering down the stonework.

SAM: Skipping.

ASHLEY: Percy, 18.

TALIESIN: 18? Thank you.

LAURA: Scanlan, no. (groans)

MATT: Into what is a large central chamber. You can see webbing scattered throughout the entirety of the stone room. It's about 60 feet up. There is very low light from the flickering sconces that are on the walls of this towards the base of the actual room. The building in the center, it looks almost like an ancient mausoleum structure, how it's placed in the center of the room. Closed stone doors. But what catches your eye is that the entirety of the structure seems to be crafted of the same platinum-like material as the container that you guys are carrying the horn in.

LAURA: Oh, wow.

SAM: Oh, we made it.

LAURA: Are there sapphires all over the walls in here, then?

MATT: Not the walls of the actual chamber itself, just this central building right there.

ORION: We're not stealing from this place.

MATT: Go ahead and make a perception check, anyone who wishes to look for traps.

SAM: While we're out there, I'm going to check–

LAURA: (gasps) Oh no, that was my big fancy one.

ORION: Nice. I'm going to check for any arcane stuff and I got–

LIAM: 14.

MATT: 14 perception.

LIAM: Yeah, 14.

ORION: I'm going to check for 25.

TALIESIN: 21.

MATT: Perception?

TALIESIN: Perception, 21.

MATT: Okay. 25 for arcane?

ORION: Yeah.

MATT: Best you can gather, as far as the presence of any arcane in this room, the scrolling on the structure in front of you, there are elements of the scrolling that you can see are based in the arcane runes that are used for ritual inscribing, but there's nothing of any magic that you've ever been familiar with that is utilized in this structure. What did you roll?

LAURA: Really, really high. Eight.

MATT: All right. So, who is moving in? Who wants to–

SAM: I moved in with Grog.

TRAVIS: I move in as well.

LIAM: I'm moving in.

LAURA: Can I try to stealth and move alongside just kind of keep to the edge?

ASHLEY: Going in.

TRAVIS: We're all going in.

LIAM: Ditto, kiddo.

MATT: All right, you move off to the side, kind of pushing through some of the webs and there's still webs on the side of the room.

ORION: I'll keep close to the guards and the box.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I'll go in.

LAURA: Okay, I rolled 18 on the stealth.

MATT: All righty.

ASHLEY: I'll go in close to Grog.

MATT: All righty.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LIAM: I'm going to tail my sister, actually.

MATT: All right. (whoosh) You move around over here with your sister.

LAURA: And Trinket's going to stay next to Keyleth.

MATT: All righty.

MARISHA: Come here, Trinket.

MATT: So they'll go back to this point.

SAM: I'm going to go invisible.

TALIESIN: Wait. I'm furry, but I'm not Trinket. Jesus Christ.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: All right, you are currently marked as invisible, Scanlan.

LAURA: Can we see a spider in here, like a big spider?

MATT: You don't.

MARISHA: There's always a big mama spider.

LAURA: Okay, can I– it's dark?

MATT: It's very low light.

SAM: No one's cast Light yet.

ORION: I know.

LAURA: I'm going to use my Primeval Awareness and see if I can sense any spiders in the area.

MATT: Okay. You take a moment to concentrate and you sense– while not in visible range, on the opposite side of this room, a whole bunch of tiny little life sources and one rather large one.

LAURA: Good to know.

TRAVIS: Shit.

ASHLEY: Ugh.

LAURA: (whispers) Lots of spiders. Lots. I'm going to cast Protection From Poison on myself.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: I cast Terminix.

TALIESIN: (laughs)

LIAM: I'm drinking a healing potion right now.

MATT: All righty.

ASHLEY: I'm going to do the same thing.

MARISHA: Also, I'll go ahead and– nah, nah, it's fine.

TALIESIN: What does a level two healing potion do, again?

MARISHA: I'm going to keep my Stoneskin up.

ASHLEY: Yeah, what's the level two?

MATT: Level two healing potion does 4d4 + 4.

ORION: I'm going to go use Greater Invisibility, as well.

MATT: Okay. All right. You are also considered invisible.

SAM: Why greater?

ORION: Because I can cast and still stay invisible.

MATT: All right, Kima pushes ahead through the group while you guys are doing this, walks up to the front of the chamber, and you see she takes the holy symbol around from her neck, the symbol of Bahamut, and much like she did to the doorway at the bottom of the temple earlier to find this initial passageway, she feels around in the scrolling and eventually finds a section of it and rotates what looks like a circular part of it that shifts and then pulls out. When she pulls it out, you can see there is a kind of engraving, there is a recessed engraving of the same shape as her holy symbol.

LAURA: Before she touches anything, can I let her know that there's a whole lot of spiders on the other side of the room.

MATT: You may do that.

SAM: Wait, what? You didn't tell any of us that.

TRAVIS: Can I shift to her right flank, just at the corner of the mausoleum structure? Right there.

LAURA: Just so everybody's aware, those things we just fought? There's a ton more of them on the other side of this little chamber.

SAM: Oh, thanks for telling us.

LAURA: No problem.

MATT: Grog, make a stealth check.

MARISHA: (whispers) Be very quiet.

TRAVIS: Oh, shit. Natural 20.

(cheering)

TALIESIN: Spiderman.

LAURA: Good thing you took that beard off because it had bells and shit in it.

TRAVIS: Oh, the beard is still there.

SAM: No, no, it fell off.

TRAVIS: Its most majestic part fell off.

SAM: Oh.

MATT: Yeah. There's still some goliath peach fuzz there.

TRAVIS: Substantial Viking-ness happening.

MATT: Grog, for a moment there, you recess into your old hunter training when you were traveling with your barbarian tribe and you take in the darkness around you and walk, fleet of foot, to the edge of it, not making a single sound. You're damn proud of yourself.

TRAVIS: I am.

TALIESIN: (whispers) Quietly.

MATT: So as you tell this to Kima, she goes, (whispers) “What? Spiders?”

LAURA: (whispers) Lots and lots of spiders. Is that going to make noise?

MATT: (whispers) “I don't know. I haven't been in this chamber before.”

LAURA: Perhaps we should deal with the spiders before we make noise, or maybe just be prepared. In fact, you know what? I'm going to cast Spike Growth on the ground in between where they're going to have to walk through.

MARISHA: Ooh, good. Smarty-pants.

LAURA: Because they can't freaking see it right now, can they?

MATT: Which way?

LAURA: Yeah, there, yeah.

ASHLEY: Both sides?

MATT: You said Spike Growth. How much does it affect?

LAURA: It affects– damn it– I didn't put it in my thingy because I'm dumb. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

MATT: That's okay.

ORION: You're not dumb. You're a strong, smart person.

ASHLEY: While she's looking, could I–

LAURA: Spike Growth!

ASHLEY: You found it.

TALIESIN: Way more than arrows.

LAURA: It is a 20-foot radius. That's not that much.

MATT: Okay, cool. So you can do this whole area right here is all spiky growth.

LAURA: And it's hard spikes. Hard spikes and thorns.

MATT: Good to know.

TALIESIN: Briar.

SAM: All right, well, I'm going to follow suit and go to the other side and cast Stinking Cloud. No, over–

MATT: Over here?

SAM: Over there, yeah.

TRAVIS: Our side's the best!

(laughter)

MATT: Go ahead and make another stealth check.

SAM: Okay. 15. 17!

MATT: 17.

SAM: That's the best stealth I've ever done.

ASHLEY: Well done.

TRAVIS: Yeah, buddy.

MATT: You quietly come by and mutter under your breath your arcane ritual and all of a sudden (quiet whoosh). And what was the size of the cloud on that one?

SAM: 30 feet, I think? I think it's 30 feet. Hold on, hold on, hold on. 90 feet! Oh, that's the range.

MATT: What's the radius?

SAM: It's a 20-foot radius.

ORION: Oh, your cards are cool!

MATT: 20-foot radius, which would be– Actually, a 20-foot radius for this would be…

ORION: Nice, they have little bard thingies.

MARISHA: Oh, they're purple. Mine has like a–

ORION: Nice color diversity!

MATT: This whole area here–

LAURA: Oh, nice!

ORION: (laughs) Oh, I did see this.

MATT: This whole area here is done.

MARISHA: I've got like a scythe.

TALIESIN: A sickle.

MATT: And you also now make a very nasty cloud in this vicinity as well. This whole area is completely marked off on both sides now.

ORION: I'd like to walk up as I see this going on. I'm going to take out my deck of illusions. I'm going to toss two cards both ways, two cards on each side. So I'm going to do this, real quick.

LAURA: Question. That chamber in the center of the room, does it go all the way to the ceiling, or is it–

MATT: No, there is a gap.

ORION: Deck of illusions, everyone.

LAURA: So there's a huge– so technically, the spiders could crawl up the ceiling and drop down on us?

TRAVIS: Yes.

MATT: In theory?

TALIESIN: Why would you give him ideas like that? Just feed him irony!

TRAVIS: Let's go.

ORION: Ten of Hearts, Yes! Joker, Queen of Hearts, and another Joker! What?!

SAM: What does that mean?

MATT: Wait, you threw–

ORION: I put two on each side.

MATT: Oh, two on each side.

ORION: Yeah. So, like, two over in the spot before all that mess over there and two are in the other mess.

ASHLEY: Do you want to go one up top, just in case?

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

ORION: So the Jokers–

MATT: Are you.

ORION: And a female version of me.

LAURA: Ooh, that's awesome.

MATT: All right, so a secondary Tiberius appears right there.

ORION: (falsetto) Hello, everyone.

MARISHA: You know, you make a good woman.

ORION: (falsetto) Tiberiosa.

MATT: Female Tiberius appears over on that side.

MARISHA: Tiberiosa.

ORION: And then whichever side you decide, a Queen of Hearts and Ten of Hearts.

MATT: Queen of Hearts– oh, interesting.

TRAVIS: (falsetto) Levi-O-sa, not levio-SA.

MATT: A succubus appears over here. Winged.

MARISHA: Well, that's fun.

MATT: Sorry, what was the other one that you said?

ORION: Queen of Hearts and a Ten of Hearts.

MATT: Ten of Hearts. A cloud giant on this side of the room.

LAURA: What?

ORION: (explosion noise)

ASHLEY: Rad.

MATT: We'll use that mini for now, it's fine. All of a sudden appear, kind of translucent, their image flickering. It's not a great illusion, but it's enough where it catches some attention.

ORION: And they're positioned right before the messes of each side.

MATT: Like right there.

ORION: Yeah.

MATT: All righty. Kima's now sitting there like, (whispers) “Put the key in now?”

SAM: No, no, do it.

TALIESIN: Yes, yes, go.

MARISHA: Okay, you're good. Go for it, yeah.

MATT: She puts her symbol into the recess. As it does, the stone doors shift and there's a dull kind of creaking of the stone as it slides not open, but into the walls, revealing an interior that is, as the light filters in, the entirety of the wall, floor, and ceiling of this room is of the same scrolling, the same platinum/sapphire material as the outside of the building and the box that's there, except for the design seems to all filter in towards the center, like the center of a spiderweb. All the design coalesces to the center point.

LAURA: Had to be a spiderweb.

MATT: It's not an actual spiderweb. There's a raised dais up in the center there, about four feet wide, about a half-foot thick. Kima kind of takes her symbol and puts it back around her neck and kind of motions like this. The two Scalebearers begin to move down, carrying the case, looking about the rest of you like–

ORION: I invisibly follow right behind the box, still keeping my illusions in check.

MATT: All right.

ASHLEY: Same, same, same.

MATT: Everyone holds in place?

MARISHA: Yeah, I'm not going to move far away.

ASHLEY: Following.

TRAVIS: As you will.

MARISHA: No, no, no, no.

MATT: You're staying right there?

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, if I held– let me shift one over, just so I'm not in Trinket's way. The other way. Yeah.

MATT: There you go. All right, so. As they enter the chamber, Kima enters as well, you guys filing in behind them, I need you all to make stealth checks.

TRAVIS and LAURA: Everybody?

MATT: No, Tiberius, with advantage, because you're invisible.

LIAM: What kind of check?

SAM: Stealth!

TRAVIS: Not you.

MATT: Not you, don't worry about it.

ASHLEY: I don't?

MATT: You do.

ORION: 17.

ASHLEY: Three.

(laughter)

SAM: Clang, clang, clang.

MATT: So you step into the chamber, losing your footing for a moment on the smooth, kind of platinum-like ridges across the ground, and you kind of catch yourself, your plate hitting the ground with a loud (ting) sound, at which point the two Scalebearers kind of look at you–

ASHLEY: (whispers) Sorry! Sorry!

MATT: With a heavy sigh, and Kima goes, “Go, go, go!” They both step forward and take and place the box into the center of the room on top of the dais. As they both release the chains, the box seems to levitate on its own to the center of the room, much like how the Horn itself ascended and was kept aloft in the center of the box. The box lifts up and slowly begins to rotate on its own. As it does, you can see the sapphire bits that are ingrained on this box flash with a bright blue light and all of a sudden the blue energy spreads into the ceiling and the floor of this room and all of the blue and silver veins that are carved into this begin to glow with a similar blue light.

SAM: Cool.

MARISHA: Cool.

ORION: I love light.

MATT: At which point, the doors begin to–

SAM: Which doors?

MATT: The doors you guys entered this room through begin to close.

SAM: Ah, we should leave.

ORION: I'm going to scootch.

MATT: Yeah, you guys immediately scootch out of the way. Kima darts off. Both of them turn around and start running back.

SAM: (whispers) They're going to die.

MATT: They both make it out.

ASHLEY: Oh! That's good.

MATT: They both manage to just squeeze through real fast as the doors slam behind.

MARISHA: That would be terrifying.

MATT: At which point, you see a series of spiders beginning to try to cut around– these here, what's the DC on your–

SAM: My spell?

MATT: Your spell, yeah.

SAM: 17, because I didn't do it through the hand cone.

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: (whispers) Why?

MARISHA: Should we run?

MATT: Both of these spiders get disoriented and try to find their way through the Stinking Cloud, kind of like (choking, clicking noises).

MARISHA: Yeah, who's going to be back down here, \theoretically.

ORION: The guards could come back.

MATT: None of them make their way through. The rest of these begin coming forward– what's the roll they have to make for the Spiky Growth?

LAURA: 14.

TALIESIN: To repair the room that we broke, anyway.

MATT: 14. Both missed their save. What's the damage on that?

LAURA: That's 2d4 for every five feet crossed.

MATT: They would probably be skittering around here halfway through before they changed trajectory, so– 1d4, 2d4?

LAURA: 2d4 for every five feet.

MATT: So 10d4 each.

MARISHA: Nice!

MATT: They come charging around the corner rapidly

(skittering noises).

MARISHA: 10d4? That's cool.

ORION: Oh, nice, what?

MARISHA: For her thorns.

ORION: (whispers) Sweet, thorns.

MARISHA: My little sister once fell into a rose bush.

SAM: Good story.

MARISHA: It was very painful.

ORION: Good story? (laughs) I once fell into a fire ant hill.

MARISHA: That sucks, too.

ORION: It was very painful. I was riding my bike. It sucked.

LAURA: 22.

MATT: 22. Both of these spiders stop in place, looking severely messed up and damaged and just kind of hold their ground, looking very confused. You see, crawling up over the top of this structure, one large white and bluish spider that leaps up. As this is happening, you guys are noticing that blue energy is cracking through the floor and now following the pattern across the entirety of the structure. It crawls up the walls–

MARISHA: Oh.

MATT: – and that blue energy reaches to the ceiling and illuminates it. And what you missed when you entered the room is you can see, recessed into the ceiling of this room, four large humanoid entities that are just currently held aloft, buried in the ceiling, of platinum armor.

ORION: Go.

TRAVIS: We've got to go. We've got to go.

MATT: One of them suddenly flashes, dislodges, and (whoosh, thud), squashing the spider in the process.

(yelling)

MARISHA: What is that?

MATT: Just (spider screech, croak) screeching sound, the spider slowly tries to curl in place, the giant platinum golem now slamming on top and squishing on top. You see as it slowly comes to stand, each hand holding these giant platinum cleavers. You suddenly hear a voice ringing through your heads collectively: “Get out.”

LAURA: (whispers) We should get out!

ORION: You heard the man! You heard him! You heard him! The earrings, everybody heard him.

SAM: Wait, can we just leave the thing here with the golem?

LAURA: Golems are meant to protect.

ORION: It's going to kill everything there.

SAM: Oh, then let's go.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: All right, so all of you guys start bolting out. I want everyone to go ahead and make a dexterity check.

MARISHA: Okay. Yeah, sure.

ORION: 13.

MATT: All right, anyone lower than a ten?

TRAVIS: What about on a ten?

MARISHA: No.

MATT: Lower than a ten?

ORION: (quietly) We all got above ten?

MATT: Anyone? All right. You as well?

ASHLEY: 14.

MATT: Awesome.

(laughter)

ORION: Even Pike!

MATT: You guys all come darting out of the room, except for Kima, who rolls a one. So all of you guys come running out of the room–

SAM: Kima's dead.

MARISHA: Kima?

MATT: The rest of the Scalebearers come rushing out, they're no longer encumbered by the box. Kima's kind of helping everyone get by, trying to keep everyone at bay, being the hero. As she turns around, the first one comes leaping off of the structure, runs towards her and gives one giant sweep with one of its blades. Ooh, yeah, that'll hit. You see the blade streak across the front of her silver armor. She takes 24 points of slashing damage. It sends her flying back ten feet with the sheer force of it, but she manages to roll out of it, yeah! With an acrobatics check, catching herself to her feet and just keeps bolting behind the rest of you guys.

LAURA: Can I see?

MATT: You now see behind two more (crash, crash) dislodging from the ceiling as the one that's charging after you is coming up the stairway. Through this, we're now going into a skill challenge as you guys are rushing out.

LAURA: Oh, god.

TRAVIS: Must go faster. Must go faster.

SAM: Skill challenge.

MARISHA: Skill challenge!

ASHLEY: Ah, go, go!

ORION: Yeah, all right. Run for your life.

MARISHA: We haven't done this in a while.

MATT: Now, as you're running to get through, there's still bits of webbing still in the way. I need everyone to go ahead and make another dexterity check.

SAM: All right, doing good.

ORION: Yes!

TALIESIN: Yeah!

MARISHA: Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, sure.

ORION: 21!

LAURA: 25.

TALIESIN: 22.

TRAVIS: 21.

LIAM: 26.

ASHLEY: 17?

MARISHA: 11?

TALIESIN: 22.

MATT: All right.

SAM: 19.

MATT: All right, as you guys are all charging up, kind of helping each other but also clamoring to get through, Kima is rushing up and you can see where one of the Scalebearers has now tripped and fallen on the stairs.

SAM: Oh, no!

MATT: She runs past, leans back to reach her hand out as the golem comes up behind–

MARISHA: No!

MATT: – with two hands, swings down with both blades.

SAM: Against Kima again?

MATT: No, this is against one of the Scalebearers.

SAM: Oh, okay.

TALIESIN: Oh no.

LAURA: Should I be rolling for Trinket?

MATT: I'm considering Trinket with you, so no.

MARISHA: Too late, just leave them.

LAURA: Okay, thank you.

MATT: We'll do that next round because I forgot. There's a lot of things to consider. One of them hits the stone and just streaks off, sparks flying through the air, illuminating the space secondarily. However, the other Scalebearer takes 28 points of slashing damage from the blow. As it reaches up again for a second blow, Kima reaches down and grabs Desona's arm and lifts her up off her feet and they both go charging forward. You guys make your way up the stairway as you see now the golem pushing its way through.

ORION: I'm going to dissipate my card illusion and I'm going to cast Fly on myself, so I'm hovering.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: How much of a gap is there between the last trailing-behind Scalebearer and the golem?

MATT: Well, now that Kima's got them, they're rushing up and there's about a ten-foot, 15-foot gap now.

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: I'm going to turn around and do Wall of Stone. Boof!

MATT: Okay. As they rush past, a wall of stone slams up as the golem goes smashing into it–

ORION: I'll do support. I'll do Obelisk right behind it, too.

MATT: All right. So as you guys come rushing up to the top of this, you guys are just doing the stone wall, obelisk, obelisk, obelisk. We'll say you cast it twice to go ahead and reinforce.

MARISHA: Boof!

MATT: All right, you hear the impact from behind. You hear stone crack and break and you see two of the pillars that you put up impact, dust and bits of rock shoot out, but it settles. Apparently it's holding strong and you start hearing slamming of some sort of heavy weight behind it.

MARISHA: Right, run.

MATT: As well as the following of additional giant heavy footsteps. It's now got its reinforcements caught up to it. You guys charge into the room with the broken trap, which now has partially raised platforms. You're rushing around and trying to find your way through. You get to the other side of the room. There's now an entirety– a room filled with mist in front of you.

LAURA: (gasps) Oh no.

MARISHA: I still have it. I can Gust of Wind. That's my last 3rd-level spell.

MATT: Okay. All right, Gust of Wind. I'm going to ask all of you guys to make a wisdom check as you rush through.

MARISHA: Including me?

MATT: Everyone.

SAM: Wisdom check or saving throw?

MATT: This is a wisdom check.

MARISHA: Just adding your wisdom?

ASHLEY: Natural 20!

LAURA: What what!

MATT: Nice!

ASHLEY: 24.

MARISHA: Saving throw or just your ability modifier?

ORION: 12.

MATT: Ability modifier.

TALIESIN: Oh.

MARISHA: Okay, 16.

ORION: I thought it was negative three.

SAM: Ten. Ten for me.

TALIESIN: 14.

LAURA: 13.

LIAM: Nine.

TRAVIS: Two.

SAM: Nine, wow.

MATT: All of you guys are pushing through. So, as you guys come rushing in you're like, go go! You see Keyleth's focusing and getting the wind to escape, Keyleth rushes up, Kima comes through with the two Scalebearers, everyone comes through, Grog's bringing up the back. You can see now, in the back behind him, a giant blade-wielding fist as the golem comes smashing through the wall. The rest of you guys, ushering Grog along, Grog comes running, hears the sound, looks over his shoulder and in the chaos of it, his trajectory is off and he ends up brushing into the side of the mist.

LAURA: Oh, no!

MATT: Grog, go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw.

TRAVIS: 12.

MATT: You end up taking 24 points of fire damage as the pillars spin, unleashing a torrent of flame.

TRAVIS: No, bad car wash, bad car wash!

MARISHA: (laughs) Bad car wash.

LAURA: Oh, no, Grog, your beard has been singed.

ORION: Oh!

TRAVIS: What?

(laughter)

MATT: You reach up instinctively, you feel it's as smooth as a baby goliath's face.

(laughter)

ORION: All that work!

MATT: As you guys charge up the rest of the staircase–

ORION: Is Grog behind us now, like the furthest away?

MATT: He's just caught up to you guys as you're rushing up the staircase. You get to the final door. You exit. As Kima rushes everyone through, she brings out her holy symbol real fast, and as she pulls it off her neck, you see the first golem reach the bottom of the staircase. It begins looming up–

ORION: We're leaving! What are you doing?!

MARISHA: Yeah, go home! Go home! Bad golem.

TALIESIN: I take a–

MATT: Kima takes out her holy symbol and holds it aloft in front of her and says under her breath (murmurs), at which point it begins to glow with this extremely vibrant glow. As it does, you see a symbol emblazoned on the front of the golem and it flashes with light as it stops and just kind of holds its place– and waits. And Kima looks at the symbol like “I wasn't sure that was going to work.” She takes–

ORION: Tell it to go kill the spider.

MATT: She takes the symbol and puts it back in the side of the stone door that originally was closed. The doors slowly seal shut once again. She pulls the symbol out– and she falls to her knees, breathing heavily.

SAM: Oh, Kima.

MARISHA: We did it!

TRAVIS: Next time, lead with that.

ORION: I agree, Grog. Very well said.

MATT: “It kind of happened very quickly, I'm sorry.”

ASHLEY: All right, do some people need to be healed?

TALIESIN: Oh, dear.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: Kima, for sure.

ORION: I'm actually okay.

MARISHA: I'm all right. I'm all right.

TALIESIN: I'm fine.

SAM: Oh, Grog's got a burnt face.

TRAVIS: No, I want to wear this pain as a remembrance of my beard.

LAURA: You can grow it back, Grog.

ORION: It's okay, big fella.

MATT: You make your way back up to the main chamber, where High Bearer Vord is currently waiting for you.

SAM: Oh, this guy.

MATT: He turns to you as you enter. “So I am to assume that your journey was a success?”

ORION: Yes, surprisingly so. It went off without a hitch. Well, no.

LAURA: You've got some good security down there.

MARISHA: Very good.

MATT: “I told you. Once it's instilled, it will be safe.”

LAURA: A little warning next time would be great.

ASHLEY: 25 points of healing.

MATT: There you go.

ORION: You're really a girl on fire now.

MARISHA: That really heals me up, then.

TALIESIN: That will top me off very nicely.

MARISHA: I'll take that.

ORION: Well done, everyone, by the way.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: That could've gone worse.

MARISHA: It could have gone worse.

MATT: At which point, the High Bearer Vord kind of raises his hand. “Yonn, if you do not mind.” And Yonn kind of shuffles forward.

SAM: Yonn.

ORION: Such a bore.

MARISHA: Yawn.

MATT: “Excuse me, I'm right here.”

ORION: It was a play on words. Your name also means something that you do when you're tired.

MARISHA: Yeah!

MATT: “I don't like you.”

(laughter)

MATT: He reaches out and puts a big old sack of coins in your hands.

LAURA: Oh! I'll hold onto that.

ORION: Of course.

TALIESIN: We should mention, you may have to have one of the rooms repaired.

ORION: I take a couple out.

TALIESIN: The spinning column–

SAM: Circle of death.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: May have gotten–

LAURA: A little broken. We thought were maybe just disarming it but I think we probably broke it.

TALIESIN: We put an arrow into it.

TRAVIS: (tearfully) If you find the remnants of a glorious beard, preserve it.

LAURA: Oh, Grog, actually–

TRAVIS: What?

LAURA: I've got some remnants of a lovely beard. And I try to smush it onto his chin.

TRAVIS: It is not the same.

MATT: It is not the same.

LAURA: It looks pretty good.

MATT: It is not the same.

LAURA: Dang it.

MATT: At which point, the High Bearer turns to you, Pike. “Mighty cleric, I see this meeting, though it escaped my vision before, that you bear the holy sigil of the Dawnflower, the Lady of Redemption Herself. While we may walk under different stars, I offer these words that caught my ear naught but a week ago. In an excavation beneath the toppled tower of Syrac, the long-cursed ruin that sat like a blemish upon this city for hundreds of years, it was revealed that perhaps the five holy paths that began here at Vasselheim, there may indeed now be a sixth.”

SAM: What?

MATT: “A forgotten temple to Sarenrae has been uncovered. Crumbled, lost, and without light, it sat, forever and a day, and few are around in this city of her guiding flame to recover and restore its glory. Perhaps you should look into it.”

ASHLEY: I will gladly look into it.

MATT: “The ruin lies to the west of here, at the base of the city's mountain. Look for the dark stone ruin. Nevertheless, I thank you for your time. Kima, if you wouldn't mind, we have some things to discuss as well.”

MARISHA: Oh, quick, Vorg–

MATT: “Vord. High Bearer Vord.”

MARISHA: Vord.

TALIESIN: Vord.

LAURA: Highbearer Vord.

MATT: “Was that so hard? Yes?”

MARISHA: Vord? You wouldn't have happened to hear of maybe a druid tribe called the Fire Ashari? They call their little hometown Pyrah. Do you happen to know, maybe?

MATT: He gives you a keen look and says, “There has been talk of a rogue band of druids, not more than two day's travel, in the– let's see, where did I put the maps here?” He thinks to himself for a moment, considering it. “Towards the Sunder Peak Mountain Range. Dangerous territory, fraught with volcanic activity. Yet these folks seem to call it home.”

MARISHA: Is Sunder Peak like west or east to where we–

MATT: “Southwest of the city. It's hard to miss.”

MARISHA: Southwest.

MATT: “Look for the plumes of sulfurous smoke.”

LAURA: Is the temple to Sarenrae on the way to the–

MATT: “The temple to Sarenrae is on the same mountain that this temple is built on.”

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: “To the west of here. Follow the mountain base.”

MARISHA: Oh. So we can stop there first?

ORION: Yes, it's close, it seems.

LAURA: All of us can–

ORION: Before we part, you seem to be quite learned about many things that I am not. Have you ever heard of anything called the God's Hammer or the Pale Stone? Or any particular artifact, Ropes of Mercy, perhaps?

MATT: “I can't say I have, unfortunately.”

ORION: Of course.

MATT: “But I shall keep this in mind, should the information come my way.”

ORION: Thank you. I bow.

MATT: He gives you a look, a quick glance, and notes: “For the record, while your color is not what it was when you first entered, know that the great Platinum Dragon sees through this guise to the heart beneath.”

ORION: Yes, thank you for noticing. I agree with the same sentiment. And I bow in the Draconic fashion.

MATT: “Well, Kima. Business. Thank you all very much.” And he kind of lends his hands out. As he extends his hand, the doors on the opposite side of the room open up.

LAURA: Magic. Thought it was banned.

MATT: For the sake of brevity, because we have people who have to leave on this, very soon, it doesn't take you long to find your way across the city. You find some of the city's Bastions standing guard on the outskirts of this crumpled tower ruin. It's like, black and soot-covered stone that looks like a plot of land that has been left untouched. Like, once it fell, no one wanted anything to do with it. You speak with the Bastions and they eventually let you through, especially given the aid of those you've walked with since arrival. You come to the ruin and you can see there's about a 40-foot gap in this pile of stone that is a recess in the ground, almost like a small sinkhole. It looks like there is some sort of excavation that has been set here. Very haphazard. There is very simple wood boards that have been placed into the side of this small sinkhole to allow relatively comfortable, though a bit rickety, descent into the structure. As you make your way down, your eyes adjust to the little bit of daylight that spills into this dark subterranean cavern. There before you, you see a surprisingly glorious sight: a simple structure of brass and polished limestone, ancient as the day is long. One of the walls has partially collapsed, and you see what looks like three figures rummaging through the debris. An older human woman, who is being helped by two others: a young man of blond hair and simple clothes and an older gnome that's carrying a crutch under his arm. They're all in the process of collecting and setting aside and cleaning up various things that have been recovered from this temple. You immediately see against the brass structure the very simplified symbol of the wings of Sarenrae, multiple times across the structure in various incarnations. This is very much indeed a lost temple of Sarenrae.

LAURA: (whispers) Wow, Pike.

ASHLEY: (whispers) Wow.

SAM: So, when you've fully excavated it, you can come back and check it out.

ASHLEY: Yes…

ORION: Or you can stay here and restore it.

MATT: At which point, the older woman sees you guys walk down and says, “Please! There's nothing to take. Nothing but history and rock, I guarantee you. Bandits are not welcome here.”

ASHLEY: No no no! I take out my symbol and I say, no no no, I'm here to help.

MATT: You can hear an audible gasp from her. She says, “My eyes don't deceive. Oh my, I am sorry. My name is Gesyra, a simple painter, but one of, as far as I know, the three devoted to the Lady of the Everlight here in Vasselheim. And now a fourth. I don't know where you came from, but would you stay with us for a bit and help us rebuild? Bring her name into the light amongst the others here in Vasselheim? Restore it to its glory?”

ASHLEY: (tearfully) Yes. Oh, man, I don't want to leave you guys.

MATT: “It shouldn't take long, especially with your help. And we can bring the light into the heart of others.” And you can see the two other kind of joined her at the side and they all look at you with this look of hope that you can probably tell from the crinkles in their face they haven't had in quite some time. And they look up to you in their simple clothes as the first true strong bastion for Sarenrae that they've seen in a long time. With that, Pike, you get to turn to the rest of the group.

ASHLEY: Well, I think this is a pilgrimage I have to take. So, Vox Machina, keep your eyes out. I will contact you every once in a while if I can, and we will meet up once this is completed. All in.

TRAVIS: Right.

ASHLEY: Vox Machina on three. One, two, three.

ALL: Vox Machina.

ORION: (tearfully) You will be missed very much, Pike.

ASHLEY: I'm going to miss you guys very much.

MATT: And on that note, we have to close because people are in a rush. Yeah, Ashley will be leaving us for a time. She's going to New York for a few months to shoot a web– a television series.

(laughter)

SAM: A little web series.

MATT: A wonderful television series she has recurring. We're really happy and proud of her– we're just a jumble of emotions under the circumstances.

ASHLEY: You guys have been so amazing and have made this experience even better for us, and thank you so much for going with us on our journey. It will keep going, but I will be back when I can.

ORION: You will be back.

LAURA: You'll be back.

TALIESIN: You'll be back.

ORION: She will be back.

ASHLEY: But it might be a long time.

MATT: Yeah, she'll pop in and out if she can, and there will eventually be a return of Pike, but for the time being she feels the calling to stay and help rebuild this temple of Sarenrae.

MARISHA: We're going to miss you, Pike.

ASHLEY: I'm going to miss you guys.

MARISHA: But we understand personal journeys.

ASHLEY: Personal journey.

TRAVIS: You have a good time.

ASHLEY: I will.

SAM: Pike, I, Scanlan, will not physically wait for you, but emotionally–

(laughter)

SAM: Emotionally I will wait for you, and I will not stray emotionally. I will always be there for you emotionally.

ASHLEY: Okay, Scanlan.

SAM: But physically, I mean, come on, it's going to be months.

MATT: Thank you so much, Ash. We're going to miss you but we'll tabs and we'll have you back soon.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: All right. Thank you all so much for watching. Everyone give Ashley love on the Twitter, on the internet.

TRAVIS: Good going, Ashley!

MATT: And we'll see you guys at Comic-Con next week. Those that'll be at Anime Expo, I'll be there tomorrow for a couple of panels.

ZAC: Buy those shirts!

SAM: Oh, yeah, buy the shirts.

MATT: Six more days for the Critical Role shirts before they go away.

LAURA: Hey, it's still got Pike on it, you gotta get it now.

ALL: Yeah.

SAM: Collector's edition.

ASHLEY: Definitely limited edition.

MATT: All right, guys, thank you and have a wonderful evening, we've got to let these guys go. We'll see you– me and Marisha will see you in three weeks.

ORION: See us at Comic-Con.

MARISHA: We'll see you at Comic-Con.

MATT: The others will see you in two. All right. Have a wonderful night, guys.