Transcript:Test of Pride

List of Transcripts

Pre-Show
MATT: Due to apparently a fried motherboard suddenly, we’re not gonna be able to– we’re gonna have to be switching cameras tonight so bear with us. It’s gonna be a lot of one shots. Single shots cutting back and forth. But it’ll still be a great episode. Hope you enjoy. Let’s go ahead and get to these announcements real fast. Those who haven’t seen it, Dragon+ Magazine put up today a new issue in which they interviewed me and a bunch of other great DM’s that stream for West Marches and Real Roleplay and Highrollers and Chris Perkins himself. So go check that out, the new issue of Dragon+ if you get the chance and maybe find some wisdom in there. Also we just released recently, if– unless you guys are releasing it now, a new cell phone wallpaper, featuring some of the amazing photography of our recent group’s photo shoot in costume. So that I think is up on the social media now. Is that right?

LAURA: Mhm.

MATT: Go find it. It is somewhere on the internet.

LAURA: It’s up on Twitter and on Facebook.

MATT: There you go. Twitter and Facebook, go find it. Next up… a really amazing game called Mascarada that I’m lucky to be a part of. It’s on Kickstarter to finish up their big push for the final polish of the game. If you’re looking for a great kind of isometric, beautifully drawn RPG experience, go check out the Kickstarter and if it’s something you wanna help make the best it can possibly be, do so, so go check out Mascarada on Kickstarter. Also, this week, or as of last Friday, the Goblin one-shot that we did with Marisha and Taliesin and a bunch of other fantastic guests is up on the Geek and Sundry website if you haven’t seen it yet. It’s ridiculous and I think you’ll enjoy it. And… Also, as a reminder, that the “How do you want to do this?” sweaters are still up for pre-order in the store.

LAURA: Oh wait, but it has to switch.

SAM: No, it switches.

LAURA: It switches?

SAM: They can switch cameras.

LAURA: Oh.

SAM: Just one at a time.

LAURA: Wait, wait.

MATT: And, we finally have the “How do you want to do this?” T-shirts back in stock in the shop. So those who missed that, we finally, finally got them back up in stock on the website, so if you’re looking for those, they’re available.

LAURA: They’re for pre-order for another week.

TRAVIS: There’s like modeling happening right now.

LAURA: And then, I know there was modeling.

TRAVIS: These European models are in these smoking hot–

ASHLEY: Oh, who? These European models?

TALIESIN: Look, they see something fascinating far away and they’re turning to see it. Oh, look at that.

[audio silence]

MATT: Liam?

LIAM: What? Oh man I hope in the last hour, I hope in the last hour, where you had all this time to kill, you went to Wyrmwood Gaming to get boxes for your dice where you could use the code Critrole.

LAURA and ASHLEY: Critrole!

LIAM: To get free shipping. Not free boxes, but free shipping with Critrole. Also, I think we got one more week on their Kickstarter for the sentinel box, you can get this logo on any box, but–

LAURA: Right here.

LIAM: You could also get the Vox Machina box which is pretty sweet.

LAURA: Inlaid and fancy.

TRAVIS: If you’re nuts.

LIAM: I keep a human heart in here.

LAURA: It’s true.

LIAM: Critrole.

(laughing)

MATT:All right. Anything else, are we good to jump into this game for tonight?

TRAVIS: Light this candle.

LAURA: Let’s do it, oh my gosh.

MATT: Alright folks, let’s go ahead and bring us down back into tonight’s episode of Critical Role.

(spooky ethereal music)

(heavy breathing)

(roaring)

(dramatic music)

(gun firing)

Part I
MATT: Welcome back. So, last we left off, the party having found their way back to the city of Westruun, which had been overrun by the herd of roving nomadic tribal barbarians and other such brigands that wander the landscape of Tal’Dorei that Grog once belonged to, had swooped in and taken Westruun after the Chroma Conclave dragon attack across this countryside. The party had devised a plan to find their way into the town or at least one of them would, distract a cluster of these individuals, these Goliaths, many of which are, you know, half-giant Goliaths pulling them out of the city into a large pit that had been hidden after being carved by the druid Keyleth. Scanlan went in to be the distraction, becoming invisible, leaping to the center of the main town square, right in front of the margrave’s house, where apparently the leader of this clan, Kevdak, which has a long history with Grog, resides. As part of this distraction, Scanlan released a thunderwave and in doing so unknowingly also revealed himself as the invisibility spell went away. And an entire cluster of very angry-looking individuals bear down on him, managed to escape thanks to dimension door, twice and made your way into the partially ruined Temple of Arathis where you came face to face with a number of refugee Westruun villagers and Dr. Dranzel and Kaylee. And that is where we left off. So, after appearing and having a moment of realizing the scenario, you see a handful of people, most of them filthy, completely beleaguered, and in need of not being in this circumstance as long as they possibly can. And you can see Kaylee kinda holding them back defensively and Dranzel, having just noticed your appearance and calling out to you with a chuckle, realizing that you’re here and Kaylee rolling her eyes, apparently unable to really escape through fate, though there is a look, a brief glance of appreciation that at least you’re not burnt to a crisp somewhere outside Emon. But Dranzel walks up to you and is like, as hushed as he can be, “Scanlan, so glad to see that you survived. What are you doing here?”

SAM: Well… Doctor… there will be plenty of time for, for festive reunions and… hopefully tearful hellos but right now I’m afraid we have a bit of problem. See, my friends are stationed outside the main gate, lying in wait for these Goliaths that are terrorizing the town. My mission was to come in here and somehow convince the Goliaths to leave through the main gate and my mission is not complete, and I’m afraid, well, I’ve roused them and they’re going to come in here and kill us al, unless I get them out through the main gate. So, we’re in a bit of a time crunch-- Hi. And Doctor, Doctor, you are such a long friend of mine and a trusted companion but I’m afraid, though I love you, I - you cannot help me. I need Kaylee’s help in this.

MATT: At which point, Dranzel, whose face has fallen into a look of absolute fear and despair to confusion to mild frustration. Continues still glaring in your face, goes, “Well, I guess some things don’t change over time, you son of a bitch. (laughing) “Okay, well, Kaylee?” And he looks over his shoulder and Kaylee kinda steps up now and brushes off her shoulder. “All right, so what kind of business am I getting you out of now, father?”

SAM: Well, not just, not just getting me out of. I’m afraid, I’m afraid we’ll all die if you don’t help.

MATT: “Great, great, that’s fantastic.”

SAM: I’m sorry.

MATT: “You’ve just banished all of these fine folks to their demise. Do you feel good?”

SAM: No, no I haven’t, not if you help, so… Listen, I’ve been thinking a lot about you, and it’s so wonderful to see you and I just need you to trust me in this and, and lend me your talents and your magic if you can. Will you trust me today?

MATT: “Doesn’t seem like I really have much of a choice.” At which point you hear in the outside footfalls, heavy footfalls, going in the street on the outside of the temple and you hear some shouting muffled in the distance. (muffled shouting) (mimics heavy footsteps) Everyone kinda stays really still and silent. And then you… Hear a few more footsteps. (mimics footsteps) (mimics loud crash) On the partially broken door of the temple, some heavy hand falls hit and everyone just kinda ducks down and the air leaves the room entirely. At which point there’s a moment of pause, and the door begins to push open against all the rocks and this barricade that’s been placed against the door slides against the ground, opens ever so slightly. Quiet still stands and you see these fingers come through and pull it and another voice say, “Hey, give me a hand here, this one’s barricaded.” The door slides a couple more inches and you see an arm come through. Now holding against the side of the room. Another arm comes out.

SAM: Shit. Can I grab Kaylee and get everyone to, is there anywhere to hide in this room? Any place in the back?

MATT: We’ll it’s a partially collapsed, like, half-ceiling area that’s part of the temple on the second floor. There is an area beneath the spiral staircase that leads to the second floor that can fit most of the people there.

SAM: Okay. I’m going to very quickly, and with her help, usher everybody back into this back stair.

MATTHEW: Okay.

SAM: Turn around, blow my horn of fog to fill the room partially with smoke.

MATTHEW: Okay.

SAM: And then I’m going to tell Kaylee, can you throw your voice?

MATT: After that. (mimics horn) Just fills with this heavy, heavy mist, obscuring the vision of most everyone in the room that isn’t directly at your side. You hear the voice at the door go, “Hey, what’s that coming out here?” And then now fighting heavily against the door and it’s slamming against the barricade. (mimics banging and slamming) And Kaylee, kind of getting a feel for what’s happening. “All right, what can I do?”

SAM: You can throw your voice, I’ve seen you do it once, right.

MATT: "I can, I can."

SAM: Can you change your voice?

MATT: "I can."

SAM: Okay. Can you be… the scariest fucking voice you’ve ever done in your entire life? I will tell you what to say, I’ll whisper it to you. You just be the voice, I will be the visuals, all right? I’m gonna create an image, and you’re going to talk out of it, all right?

MATT: "All right, all right. Let’s go."

SAM: Okay. So I will use just a minor illusion to create the head of Stonejaw Strongjaw.

MARISHSA: Yes!

MATTHEW: Jaw Jaw?

ALL: Jaw Jaw!

(laughing)

TRAVIS: Okay, I like this.

(laughing)

LIAM: Aw, me so sorry.

(laughing)

TRAVIS: You talkin’ about my family now?

(laughing)

MATT: All right, so.

TRAVIS: I’m no fuckin’ Gungan.

(laughing)

MATT: So. As the essence of minor illusion, it is a very, very simple illusion.

SAM: For sure.

MATT: As far as I know, it can’t even really move.

SAM: Yeah.

MATT:It can be an image.

SAM: Yeah, that’s fine. It’s gonna be floating amongst fog.

MATT: Okay, so within this fog, you see as they push through the door, the barricade clatters down. A section of a table and a chair and a lot of the rubble that was kinda scooped up from the roof that had caved in jammed against this door gets skirted back, tumbles and clatters across the stone work. And you see one Goliath and one kind of rough-looking human with a ragged beard come rushing in. You know, dual hand axes drawn and looking about the fog, as suddenly, out of the middle of this space, a giant semi-translucent disembodied head of what you recall is (laughs) Stonejaw Strongjaw.

(laughing)

MARISHA: Wilson. Wilson.

MATT: Standing there, leaning forward at a large, though, you know… I will say, though, initially, what is your DC on this?

SAM: It’s through the hand cone. So it’s 20.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Oh, wow.

MATT: They both stop and just kinda go, “Uh… (laughing) "Are you seeing what I’m seeing?” And he's like, “Yeah.” And there’s just a moment of pause there, and Kaylee’s looking at you like…

SAM: Okay, really quick, here’s your motivation. You’re a dead Goliath, you were killed in combat by one of your own. And you probably sound really scary and fucked up. Ready, go. Okay I tell her, I am Stonejaw Strongjaw.

MATT: She puts her hands together and clasps almost like the grass reeds that you blow into. But as she speaks into her hand, it sends out these rippling, kind of… Almost like a heat distortion that kind of just scatters out from her hand and outside of this central illusion, you hear a voice, comes booming forward, “I–”

SAM: Fuck yes.

MATT: “Am Stonejaw Strongjaw. Returned from the realm of the dead.”

SAM: Yes, yes, yes, that’s good. Keep going, keep going, you’re doing great! I love you! Okay, uh– (laughing) "Kevdak’s son Zanror killed me in dishonorable combat!"

(laughing)

MATT: “Kevdak’s son Zanror killed me in dishonorable combat!”

SAM: I can’t go to the other side until I have avenged my death.

MATT: “I cannot move on to the other side until I’ve avenged my death!”

(laughing) (growling)

MATT: The Goliath goes, “Sorry, then.”

(laughing)

MATT: As he steps out of the room, the guy with the straggled beard who you gather is of a different type of a tribal background than the Goliaths, just kind of gleans an eye untrustingly. “Yeah, Strongjaw, you say, how strong is that jaw of yours?” And throws an ax towards it. It just passes through and clatters behind.

SAM: Okay. Quick, say “You idiot, I am but a projection”.

MATT: “You idiot! (laughing) "I am but a projection!”

SAM: The real Stonejaw is currently outside the main gate, waiting for a battle of revenge against Zanror. Dend him now.

MARISHA: That’s a lot.

SAM: I know. Sorry, Kaylee.

MATT: “The real Zanror stands outside this city gate, waiting… For vengeance against Zanror!”

SAM: You’re doing great, you’re doing great!

MATT: “Bring him now, or you all shall suffer!”

SAM: That last part was improv! That was amazing, Kaylee!

(laughing) (grunting)

MATT: There’s like a slight pause. “Can I have my axe back?”

SAM: I motion to Dr. Dra to throw it back to him.

MATT: He runs over, feels for it, looks around.

SAM: Throw it hard!

MATT: “I will throw it hard!”

SAM: No, no, don’t say that part, don’t say that part! (laughing) It’s fine, you’re doing great.

MATT: He starts backing up towards the door. At which point, the ax just clatters past him, slams into the door behind him. He reaches up without looking and he grabs it. “Thank you.”

SAM: The main gate, the main gate!

MATT: “The main gate.”

SAM: Wow!

MATT: “There’s like four gates into the city. Which main gate?”

SAM: I don’t know, do I know what it looks like?

MATT: The western one.

SAM: The western gate, the western gate!

MATT: “The western gate!” (laughing) “Right, right, I’ll let him know.” And he just leaves. Doesn’t even touch the door, he just bolts out the back.

(laughing)

LAURA: Oh man, I love this so much.

MATT: There’s a moment of quiet.

MARISHA: I just hope that works.

MATT: Dr. Dranzel walks by. (chuckles) “I have to say, you two make quite the team.”

SAM: I would say that as well, yes, I would. Thank you, Kaylee, that was… Better than I could have ever done.

MATT: "That’s true. All right then, so… We’re getting people out of here. Things have gone a bit up. How are we gonna get the rest of these folks out?” And Dranzel thinks for a second, he goes, “Well, we can’t wait for the rest of the team. They’re probably still on their way back from Kymal. I’ve unfortunately mostly spent my capabilities for the day. Scanlan, what do you got?”

SAM: To keep us all safe?

MATT: “No, to get the rest of these poor saps out!”

SAM: Out of the city? Jesus, uh…

MATT: “Were you gonna leave them here unguarded?”

SAM: Oh, no, of course I’m not gonna leave them unguarded! I just, I mean, we can’t… How many people are here?

MATT: You look around the room, there’s nine people.

SAM: I can get me and Kaylee out. (laughing) I think we should just hunker down. (laughs) I can’t get us out, I’m sorry! I mean, we could sneak, we could sneak, we could try to make a sneak for it. Are there sewers here?

MATT: Kaylee nods. “There are sewers, aye.”

SAM: Close by? Is there an entrance nearby?

MATT: “About two blocks that way.” And she points to the south side of the city.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: “Should we wait for your friends, or should we go ahead and take this route?”

SAM: We should wait and make sure that we hear Goliath footsteps leaving the city before we move, and then go.

MATT: “All right. Let’s take a moment and make sure at least all the chaos is moving that way.” Quiet takes over as the fog slowly fades over the next few minutes, and you all stay out of sight. Now, the rest of you guys are currently waiting on the outskirts of the western side of town. You hear the bells going off in the distance. You hear the sound of shouts as the guards that were at that post start stepping back inward, trying to figure out what’s going on. At this distance, it’s hard to make out exactly what conversation is happening, but the energy of the outside of the city has definitely climbed up a few paces. Which leads you to believe, hopefully, this means Scanlan’s done his job. We shall find out. Is there any other preparation you guys wanna go through right now, or are you just waiting to see any sign of movement?

LAURA: Are we all, like, together or are we spread out across everything?

TALIESIN: We’re birds.

LAURA: You’re birds.

MARISHA: We’re birds on a wall.

LAURA: We’re standing together in, like, the tall grass.

LIAM: That’s right. We were watching.

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: We’re with everybody else.

LAURA: I’m gonna take a minute to– anybody standing near me, I’m gonna take a minute and use, um… Where’s my thing? I’m freaking out! Hide in plain sight?

MATTHEW: All righty.

LAURA: And make it to where we can set a surprise attack on them.

MATTHEW: Okay.

LAURA: On anybody coming out.

MATT: All right. All right. So, as part of that, I’ll have you guys both roll stealth checks.

LIAM: Sure.

(laughing)

LAURA: Do we still, is the Pass Without Trace still active from before? I think it is.

MATT: I think you cast it before you arrived, or in the approach, so, yeah.

LAURA: Okay, so add 10 to that.

LIAM: 35.

LAURA: 35!

MATTHEW: Oh, look at that. Hopefully that’s enough.

LIAM: It’s like that scene in Willow where–

TALIESIN: All right, um, since we’re birds. I want to take just an occasional high-level…

MARISHA: Circle around?

TALIESIN: Circle around, just to see what’s up.

MATT: Okay, both of you guys roll perception checks.

MARISHA: 26.

TALIESIN: Uh, 18.

MATTHEW: 26, 18?

MARISHA: Yeah.

(Matt stands, Marisha does excited heavy breathing)

LAURA: Oh, see, that’s what we could do, Matt! We could’ve just sat you on the same side of the table as us.

TALIESIN: Yeah, you could’ve been behind us and…

MATTHEW: Oh, that’s true. That is true. Oh well, too late now. All right, so… (whispers inaudibly)

SAM: Any products you want me to hawk while the camera’s on us?

LAURA: Those shirts, man!

SAM: These shirts?

LAURA: Not those shirts, these shirts! How do you wanna do this?

SAM: How do you wanna do this? We already hawked those.

TRAVIS: The hoodie and the T-shirt! T-shirts in stock, one more week.

SAM: How do you want to do this? T-shirts are now available for something. Pre-order?

LAURA: Also pre-order for another week.

SAM: I don’t know, man!

LAURA: Also, also the necklaces and the keychains are still there.

SAM: Necklaces and keychains? But those are a fantastic birthday or Christmas gift.

LAURA: They really are!

ASHLEY: What are the necklaces?

LAURA: The necklaces? We still haven’t gotten to those!

TALIESIN: Or Arbor Day.

SAM: Arbor Day seems like a good– Memorial Day.

TALIESIN: Memorial Day!

SAM: People give gifts on Memorial Day.

TALIESIN: I got gifts on Memorial Day.

SAM: Yeah. So underneath your Memorial Day tree this year…

LAURA: It’s cute. It’s like steel.

MATT: All right.

LIAM: Oh my gosh.

MATT: So.

ASHLEY: Umm…

MATT: Yes, Pike.

ASHLEY: Can I cast Guardian of Faith near us, where we are hiding at the gate?

MATTHEW: If you’d like to.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: Uh, on your location on the gate, or somewhere else?

ASHLEY: Because we’re all, we’re all together by the hole that you dug.

LIAM: Aren’t we–?

LAURA: We’re like, in the– We’re in the grass.

MATT: In the grass, down toward the front, kind of farther back from the gate. Where are you guys standing right now?

TRAVIS: Are you– ‘Cause the twins are by themselves, right?

MATT: Yeah, yeah.

ASHLEY: Ah, so we’re all apart.

MATT: Yeah, you and Grog are kind of your own pod right now.

ASHLEY: Oh, hi Grog.

TRAVIS: Hey.

ASHLEY: I just forgot you were–

TRAVIS: Just us chillin’. (laughing) About to split some skulls.

ASHLEY: You know what, I’m gonna pause, I’m gonna pause.

MATT: Okay, you gonna hold off?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: All right, so, you guys, what are you doing? (mimicking birds)

TRAVIS: Jesus.

MARISHA: Okay, I’m on the wall, right?

MATTHEW: Mm-hmm.

MARISHA: I’m gonna kind of, like, scootch back a little bit so I’m kind of hidden. I’m gonna drop my animal form.

MATTHEW: Okay.

MARISHA: I’m gonna go over the… Our earpieces.

MATTHEW: Mm-hmm.

TALIESIN: I’m flying near her so I can hear, but I can’t talk.

MATTHEW: Okay.

MARISHA: It looks like there’s about six coming our way. I don’t know how well Scanlan’s distraction worked. It looks like they’re double down– doubling down and setting up a heavy defense in the center of the town.

LIAM: Is Scanlan listening to you right now?

MARISHA: Scanlan, can you hear me? Scanlan?

MATT: There’s no response.

MARISHA: Shit. I think he’s too far away, you guys, I don’t know.

LAURA: Hopefully he wasn’t captured.

MARISHA: There’s about six coming this way, so stay down, hopefully the trap works.

TRAVIS: I just thought of something. Hey, remember when we were, like, walking through the woods and we fought those six Goliaths and I stopped the fight? Remember? Yeah, that was Zanror, right?

MARISHA: Right.

TRAVIS: So I think he knows that I’m not, like, back from the dead.

LAURA: Well, shit, Grog!

TRAVIS: I know, I just thought of it, you know, like, the whole magic thing might not actually work.

LAURA: So the whole plan we made was stupid?

TRAVIS: No no no, I’m just saying, let’s move forward.

MARISHA: You’re using your father, right? Your father is dead, right? Your dad’s dead?

LIAM: Yes, yes.

TRAVIS: I don’t know.

LIAM: Yes.

TRAVIS: Yeah, he is, yes.

LAURA: He’s dead. (laughing)

TRAVIS: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yeah, he’s dead.

TRAVIS: Yeah, he’s dead.

Okay, well, hopefully it works.

I don’t know how well this is working–

Just a pro-tip, Vax, what would you say

is the number one thing to keep in mind

when fighting someone like me?

LIAM: Uh, don’t?

Keep your distance.

Yeah, keep your distance.

All right, good to know.

What’s our plan B in case

Zanror never comes out?

VEX: We go in and we kill everyone.

VAX: Yeah, pretty much.

Everyone?

Well, except for the nice people.

Oh.

(laughing)

I haven’t decided who the nice people are.

I think I can confirm that Vox Machina

has been a terrible influence on me,

just want to throw that out.

All right, let’s go.

LAURA: Where are they, where are they?

I also want to just see if I recognize,

I’m just doing another little

flippity-flop scan around,

and I just want to see if I recognize

his brother as one of the people

who’s coming to the gate or not.

I’ll get down low for that.

Not a brother, per se.

TRAVIS: My cousin?

Your cousin, I mean.

The one I recognize because

I, the only one I’ve met.

MATTHEW: Right.

At this height?

I’ll get, I’ll get–

MATTHEW: You’ll get low?

TALIESIN: I’ll get low.

Okay, you don’t see anybody

coming towards that direction

that resembles the individual that you met

that one time before.

Okay, fine.

I’m gonna go looking.

However, what you do notice is,

and you quickly duck out of the way,

there are two giant eagles that come

coasting over the city

in the same direction.

(gasps)

TRAVIS: Giant eagles?

Okay, I’m gonna go find a perch

on the other side of the gate.

And I’m gonna find a nice

little sniper’s nest.

I’m assuming you have some clan members

who might be druids, do you know?

You’re speaking really smart right now

and it’s confusing me.

(laughing)

Make sure you’re hiding, Keyleth.

I want to stealth, I kind of want to

hunker down against the wall and stealth.

MATTHEW: Roll a stealth check.

I’m staying bird until

the last possible moment.

Uh, 21.

21?

Hmm.

VAX: Guys, if no one comes towards the gate

in the next five, ten minutes–

KEYLETH: They’re on their way.

They’re not going to come.

Well, all right, I hope so, but

if nobody’s here in ten,

I think we gotta go in.

MARISHA: So is there anyone coming towards the–

At this point in time, you

guys on your side notice,

–and you as well–a cluster

of about six individuals

come rushing towards the gate,

and the two guards who were

over to the side earlier

join up with them, they stop for a second,

and they discuss at a distance.

Then they all turn and rush

towards the gate as a group of nine.

(gasps)

Come on, trap!

Work, trap, work, trap!

MARISHA: Come on!

As they’re rushing forward,

it’s about three, two,

and then a scattered four-ish in the back.

They go bolting through, eyes around,

looking for any sort of sight

of anyone waiting at

the front of the gate.

They begin to slow

their pace a little bit,

not seeing anybody immediately out there,

as they begin to go through

the center of the archway.

Someone make a distraction, quick!

I step out from cover,

very slowly,

and walk out in the middle of the room.

Oh, shit.

Okay, as you step out, they all

immediately put their hands out and stop

and to the guards, shout out,

“You, who goes there?”

TRAVIS: (heavy breathing, growling)

(laughing)

“Stonejaw!”

(laughing)

Two of them, of that group,

start stepping backwards

while the two guards that were

stationed at the gate, they just go,

“Cut him down.”

And they go into a run

through the rest of,

the ten, fifteen-foot area,

around the center part of the gate

out into the main area out front.

As they begin stepping, (mimics footsteps)

watching in the distance,

you notice one foot crumbles through,

and all of a sudden, the second foot,

and the earth begins to just tumble out

from underneath two of them.

Three of them, four of them, five of them.

All begin just, the first

line, the first two groups,

weren’t even paying attention and

focused on you as they charged through,

they all begin to tumble inside–

Yes!

The, uh, of the last four, two of them

manage to stop in time to

kind of catch themselves.

Of all the ones that fell, though,

the ones in front who

originally got caught

have no saving throw.

They just plummet, screaming, down–

Two managed not to fall?

MARISHA: 180 feet.

SAM: It’s 180 feet!

SAM: Holy god!

(laughing)

TALIESIN: Two managed not to fall?

Two manage to avoid the

entire crumbling portion of it

and there are three of them that are

currently holding onto the edges

and trying to pull themselves back up.

Can I find, I want to find

a good enough vantage point

where I’m behind them and

I can give them a push.

Like, from a distance.

SAM: As a bird?

LAURA: You’re a bird!

Well, I was gonna say, I can drop,

as soon as he lands, I drop his polymorph,

as soon as he lands.

LAURA: Well, but I was–

waiting for a–

Well, he’s on the roof.

He’s on the wall.

Well, first, I’m gonna determine

how much damage they took.

(laughing)

MARISHA: All of it?

SAM: We are the best at planning.

MATT: That is…

MATT: That is…

MATT: 83 damage to them.

SAM: 83?

That’s pretty good!

(laughing)

MATT: And if I look at the sheets here.

TRAVIS: That means toast for

any of us.

SAM: And they’re prone.

(laughing)

ASHLEY: We would be dead.

LIAM: That’s me.

Now, you hear a horrible scream

and a crunch sound as they all,

those that fell are unconscious

or currently completely unable–

TRAVIS: Yes!

We did something right!

Low moans of pain barely

echoing up from underneath

as the other ones, like,

they grab the arms of the ones

that are hanging over–

Are they clustered?

They’re clustered in, yeah.

Ah!

I want to take two–

I’m taking two…

Where’s my English?

Trick shot push shots.

Okay, go for it.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATTHEW: Go for it.

Push shot number one.

SAM: (mimics shooting)

Uh, that’s…

That’s with retort, I’m not using the big gun.

18, 19…

21?

21 hits.

And then they, every time

they hit, they take damage,

and they also…

Yeah, they don’t even have a save.

MATT: Nope, just pushes them.

Okay, that’s, and then that does…

14 points of damage.

MATTHEW: Okay.

For the one.

Which then, that one gets

pushed over the side,

does not make its save

to try to catch the edge,

plummets down, suffering…

Just ‘cause it’s fun to check…

70 points of damage.

A sickening smack sound–

LAURA: Landing on the other ones.

MATT: Landing on the other ones.

It’s awful.

Looking down there would

be terrible right now.

TALIESIN: Have some taste.

And the next one?

Um, that’s 17, 27, 30 to hit.

MATT: That hits.

Let’s go ahead and roll

damage on that one.

Uh, that’s…

13 points of piercing damage?

13 points of piercing damage.

MATTHEW: Okay.

TALIESIN: Plus the push.

He gets pushed, falls off the edge,

catches his arm on the side,

and begins pulling himself up.

Now there’s four of them

that are currently now

about to start climbing

up outside of this,

this collapsed portion of earth,

but the earth is still

crumbling beneath them,

as they’re trying–

I cast, I cast Hail of Thorns

and shoot in the cluster of them.

Okay.

Go ahead and make the…

The Hail of Thorns, it is–

TALIESIN: Does that drop count as a kill?

Do I get a grit point

back for that, or no?

MATT: Uh, yeah, I’ll say.

The next time I hit a

creature with a ranged weapon,

I rolled a 27.

Yeah, so right now, you’re

aiming at them all in the hole.

From your perspective, they’re gonna

have three-quarters cover.

So that–

I just need to hit the one

that’s closest to the top.

Right, what’s your total roll on that?

27.

27?

Yeah, even with the three-quarters

cover, that’ll still hit.

Okay.

So go ahead and roll damage on that.

Is everyone still standing, by the way?

No.

Both the ones that were

standing got pushed

into the hole by gun blasts from behind.

Shoved into the large,

open chasm beneath them.

26 damage.

MATTHEW: 26 damage?

Casting this at what level?

Level three.

At level three?

Nice.

All right.

Each creature within

five feet of it?

Okay, so it’s, at five feet,

the hole’s a much bigger space,

so it only hits two of them.

Okay.

I’ll fling a dagger at the

last one once you’re done.

Okay.

So, this is all happening simultaneously.

(mimics battle sounds)

Daggers.

(laughing)

So, it blasts two of them,

they both catch themselves–

Oh, wait!

That was sneak attack.

MATTHEW: Yes, so you

would actually get to…

Add another six?

MATTHEW: Yeah.

LAURA: Six!

TRAVIS: Wow.

All right, that will make them…

Not too happy.

And your turn?

All right, throwing one dagger.

Okay, and it’s advantage in hiding…

And it is 27 to hit.

That hits, even with the cover.

And it’s…

A sneak attack, and a surprise,

so it’s a crit, right?

‘Cause I’m hidden underneath shit.

‘Cause she hid us.

LAURA: Hide in plain sight.

Technically…

Yeah, I’ll let it happen, ‘cause it’s

part of the surprise round,

we’ll say this is all

happening simultaneously.

They fall in, grasp, then

they catch themselves,

and then the blade comes out of nowhere.

So yeah, I’ll let that happen.

18, 19…

MARISHA: I know, all the dice.

21, 34…

34 turns to 68, plus the bonus is 70, 74.

TALIESIN: That’s obscene.

With that, the blade sinks into

the top of the skull of the one.

The Goliath’s trying to pull himself out.

As it hits, his arms just go

limp and he falls backward

and disappears beneath the earth.

And just in case, I’m using

my bonus action to hide.

(laughing)

LAURA: Oh shit, I should’ve done that!

MATTHEW: Go ahead and roll stealth.

TALIESIN: None goth'er than thou.

LIAM: 25.

MATTHEW: 25?

Okay, good enough.

All right–

Could I do the same thing,

because I forgot to hide,

for my bonus action as well?

MATTHEW: Sure.

Okay.

Both of them just–

(laughing)

LAURA: 30.

MATTHEW: 30, okay.

You got 10?

No, I didn’t.

Way higher.

So as it stands now, there are…

I believe…

Two more in there that

are currently holding on

to try and find their way up.

As this is happening, Keyleth,

you’re paying attention,

you hear this high-pitched

(screech).

You look over your shoulder

just in time to see

a large giant eagle swoop down,

talons extended towards you,

visible on the top of the wall.

There’s no way I could use my

third shot really quick, is there?

Uh, no, you’re too focused

on the thing in front you.

TRAVIS: (singing) Let the eagle soar!

It swoops down and the talon strikes you,

the talon’s pushing you forward,

that is gonna be a…

20?

Your AC?

Yeah, that hits.

All right.

You suffer nine points of piercing damage

as its claws dig into you and attempt

to throw you from the top of the wall.

MARISHA: Okay, bring it.

Go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw

to try and grab the

ledge before you plummet.

That’s not great.

Uh, 11.

Unfortunately, you don’t

even know which way is up

as the talons chuck you forth

and you plummet from the top of the wall.

You fall down a total of 45 feet.

Can I go, like,

Can I turn back into a raven as I fall?

My other bonus, my other action?

Yeah.

I’ll say go ahead, make a

constitution saving throw

as part of your concentration check,

just to see if you’re

able to focus your mind

in that quick period of time.

Uh, 19.

19, yeah!

(applause)

As you’re spiraling

backwards, seeing the eagle,

you look behind you to the

ground, close your eyes,

swoop upward into the form of a raven.

LAURA: Awesome!

Great work.

That was sick.

TALIESIN: Sail!

Sail!

(laughing)

All right, you guys watch as

the other two guys stand up, getting out,

(grunts) and look about.

You are now still standing out

in the middle of a thoroughfare,

you’re hiding off behind the…

One of the chunks of rubble and rock

that permeate the outside

of the wall in places.

You guys are still hidden.

MARISHA: Since I’m a raven now, can I do

a loop back to the center of town

and see what’s going on?

Yep.

So you’re heading back

to the center of town,

it’s gonna take you a

little bit to get there.

Yep.

They get back up to the top.

They spend most of their

turn getting to that edge,

and taking a few steps away from it,

getting their weapons out and

kind of glaring at each other

and trying to figure out

what the hell they can do right now

as you start looming towards them.

I, unarmed, start walking towards them.

And I say, “Where is Kevdak?”

MATTHEW: Make a deception check.

SAM: Oh, boy.

Not his strength.

13.

13?

Plus…

(laughing)

All right.

As you say that…

One of the two individuals

has pulled their way out.

Humanoid, kind of a grizzled beard.

Their eyes kind of go wide, and he

just stands still for a second.

The other one is a Goliath who,

as he approaches, you

get a familiarity with,

you remember this individual.

Little younger than you.

Has a pretty, pretty heavy scar

from the bottom of the chin

that goes down to about the sternum.

Named by, by the name of Suda

who just kind of steps forward,

gives you a look-over and goes,

“Strongjaw, ha.

"You’re a Grog stronger,

that’s what you are.”

Fool. You know not who I am.

I have not come through flame and death

to deal with filth like you.

“He’s a bleedin’ liar.”

“Come on, you guys have been had.”

And he goes ahead and

takes the two hand axes,

he throws them in the air

and kinda catches them.

He goes (grunts) and

rushes in towards you.

However, he’s unable to

make anything else this turn

except movement into

face-to-face with Grog.

We’ll say, for the purposes

of this open space,

Grog will be there and this one…

SAM: Suda.

TRAVIS: Suda.

He’s gonna…

Not quite as–

LAURA: Tiny.

That blade there.

LAURA: He’s pathetic.

Look at that loser.

(laughing)

Kill him, Grog!

Kill him, Grog!

MATTHEW: Is anybody else doing anything

right now on this turn?

Or are we just waiting

to see what happens here?

TALIESIN: I’m observing.

Okay.

So.

As you’re watching and you’re

heading off that direction,

Grog, he comes forward, in

your face, what do you do?

I would like to rage.

(laughing)

MATTHEW: All right.

Take out the firebrand warhammer,

and I’m gonna tattoo his ass.

(laughing)

Go for it, go ahead and take

your two attacks.

(laughing)

Uh, 16.

MATTHEW: 16?

Misses.

No!

I cast War God’s Blessing.

(gasps)

As Pike steps out from

the high grass, in this–

ASHLEY: What up, motherfucker?

Oh!

(laughing)

MARISHA: Pike is back!

With that, the little bit of

noise distraction outside,

turns his face, his eyes

peeking out the corner of

the eye sockets, and that’s

just the little moment

of opportunity you need to go ahead

and double up and slam upward

with the butt of the hammer.

Go ahead, roll damage for that attack.

TRAVIS: Oh God, it’s been so

long since I used the…

(laughing)

Uh, that’s 17.

MATTHEW: 17 damage, got it.

Second attack?

Second attack

is 24.

That hits, roll damage

on that one as well.

LIAM: Hey, where’d the grizzly guy go?

The grizzly guy’s just

stepping back a little bit.

Or like, he’s like taking

one step onto his back foot,

not even approaching Grog.

Where’s the eagles?

The eagles aren’t too far

from your side right now.

SAM: And where’s the pit?

The pit is about 10 feet

behind the guy who’s standing,

actually, I should probably

put him there right now.

TALIESIN: Also, I’d like to keep

an eye out for the eagles as well.

MATTHEW: He’s about there.

LIAM: And where’s the chasm?

LAURA: He’s putting it

down, he’s putting it down.

LIAM: All right!

MATTHEW: I’m doing this, I’m

drawing it out for you guys.

Come on, invent a battle

map, just like that, Matt!

Come on!

(laughing)

(adventurous music)

TALIESIN: That is a really good chasm.

LAURA: That is a huge chasm!

We’re watching his magic in real life.

Where’s all the dead

bodies at the bottom of it?

Yeah, can you draw detailed dead bodies?

(laughing)

Can you just grade it a little bit?

MATT: Oh, I’m dead!

SAM: Do you like to draw,

or sketch, or just doodle?

LIAM: Where are the twins right now?

Twins would be back here.

LAURA: Hiding.

Pike would be off to the side here.

TALIESIN: Way off in the middle of fuck-all.

Percy’s like (babbling)

TALIESIN: I’m gonna keep an eye out

for the eagles, too, so…

MATTHEW: Okay.

Everybody keep commenting

if you see something–

Where’s the eagles?

TRAVIS: So the last attack was 18,

plus 2 points of the fire damage, for 20.

For 20, nice.

TRAVIS: The second attack.

Okay.

So that ends your turn.

He’s gonna go ahead and go for

a round of retaliation against you,

using the action surge

that was afforded by it,

gonna make 4 attacks on you.

That is a really, really shitty 16.

TRAVIS: Misses.

Misses.

That is a 24.

TRAVIS: Hits.

MATTHEW: That is 25.

Hits.

MATTHEW: And a 22.

That also hits.

So three hits on you.

LAURA: He’s strong!

MARISHA: How does he get four attacks?

Is he a fighter?

TALIESIN: Action surge.

Oh, action surge?

(groans)

So this would be 11

points of slashing damage,

reduced to six.

Or five, actually, for you.

That is…

14 points slashing damage reduced to 7.

Okay.

MATTHEW: And 9 reduced to 4.

Okay.

He just hacks into you

(grunts)

and looks forward and sees you

barely moved by this flurry.

TRAVIS: Oh tiny dancer, you are fucked.

(laughing)

MATTHEW: Anyone else jumping in on this?

Yeah, can I do a thing?

I want to stealth and creep

over to where Pike is.

MATTHEW: Okay.

You’ve been stealth, but yeah–

LIAM: And I would like to hold my action

and if the Goliath’s buddy does anything,

if he tries to help or if he tries to run,

I’m still hidden, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, so I’m gonna fucking throw a knife

at him if he does anything.

MATTHEW: Okay.

I’m gonna cast Hunter’s

Mark on the guy behind.

MATTHEW: Okay, got it.

Keep one alive,

I want to know where

our two principals are.

Okay.

TALIESIN: “Keep one alive.”

MATTHEW: All right.

Hunter’s Mark on that fellow there.

TALIESIN: And keeping an eye on the hawks.

MATTHEW: Okay.

SAM: Eagle.

You need one over there.

Grog, your round of retribution is up.

Pike, you wanna do anything?

Uh…

No, I’m gonna hold.

MATTHEW: Okay.

Oh, it’s my turn again?

MATTHEW: Yep.

Yep.

More tattoos for twiddly-fuck, Suda.

Wait.

No.

I want to bullrush Suda and

drive him back towards…

MARISHA: Yes, yes!

TRAVIS: The pit.

LAURA: Yeah! Pit of despair!

SAM: That is the correct answer.

(laughing)

LAURA: The pit of despair.

Haven’t bullrushed in a while, okay.

Make sure, I forgot that was proper.

(jumbled excited chatter)

TRAVIS: It might be, I think

it’s like 30 feet, I can’t remember.

Or maybe it’s 20, I can’t remember.

It’s a little less than that, we’ll see.

TRAVIS: Oh, is it?

We’ll see.

At least you made it interesting.

So shoving a creature, you can…

Shove it…

LAURA: 9700 feet, specifically.

All of them, all the feet.

SAM: Yeah, I mean, maybe it’s 15 feet,

but he doesn’t know numbers, so…

It’s strength.

Okay, it’s strength athletics check

contested by his athletics

or acrobatics.

You push him five feet

away from you, or prone.

MARISHA: Five feet?

LAURA: Or prone, prone is good.

ASHLEY: Prone, and then you could–

TRAVIS: Drag him.

ASHLEY: Drag him.

MATTHEW: You could try and shove him out,

you could grapple and

try to drag him with you.

TRAVIS: I’d like to do that.

MATTHEW: Okay.

(laughing)

so go ahead and make an–

Athletics check?

Athletics check, yeah.

MATT: That’s when I roll a natural one.

That would be when I do it.

Brilliant.

MATTHEW: Of course.

'Cause that was a 12.

MATTHEW: Okay.

And with that, you bring the

hammer back, like you’re gonna

go ahead and slam it into his face,

and instead you reach down by

underneath the ankle, and you

just flip him onto his back.

As he’s there, slammed onto the ground,

the hard, kind of packed

dirt of the roadway

that leads into the

western side of Westruun,

are you gonna attempt to

go for a grapple, then?

Yes.

MATTHEW: All righty.

As he is on the ground, I will go ahead

and allow advantage on this attempt.

So for your second strike on this,

roll another athletics

check, with an advantage.

Because he is on the ground.

27.

MATTHEW: Yeah, no, you got him.

(laughing)

ASHLEY: Bye-bye!

MATTHEW: So you can drag him

at half your movement speed.

So 25 feet?

MARISHA: Oh my god, yes.

Oh my god.

Let’s count.

Let’s count!

MATTHEW: So that’s 5, 10, 15, 20, 25.

(cheering)

LAURA: Kick him, kick him!

SAM: Oh, the tension and the drama!

TALIESIN: You can let him

stand before the chasm.

Just…

MATTHEW: Especially dragging him through–

LIAM: This!

Is!

Westruun!

TRAVIS: Don’t say it!

(laughing)

MATTHEW: The other guy next to him,

holding the hand axe,

is watching you drag him off

and he’s just like…

(grunts)

and unleashes a–

MARISHA: Fucking asshole.

LAURA: No!

MARISHA: Yeah, go go go!

LIAM: I call it, I go for it, and I’m hidden.

I have advantage and all that shit.

Oh!

(laughing)

LIAM: 28, 29…

LAURA: 29.

MATT: 29 hits.

29, yep.

Okay, good one.

LAURA: Oh my god, those are so many!

5, 10, 15…

ASHLEY: I’m gonna cast Sanctuary on Grog.

LIAM: 25, 25 doubled is 50.

LAURA: 50!

56, 56.

SAM: 56?

MATTHEW: And the bonus action?

56, and I would like to use

my bonus action to hide.

(laughing)

MATT: All right…

Okay, yeah.

Usually, your bonus action, you’ve already

used your turn to hold your action.

LIAM: Okay.

In theory.

Whatever you want, whatever you want.

MATTHEW: I’ll say you’re

not hidden right now.

Usually it’s, you have to…

The bonus action is used on your turn,

and the holding your action is kind of

that one thing that keeps over, so…

LIAM: Love it.

MATT: But as he goes

forward, the dagger

sinks right into his

sternum and he kind of…

(grunts)

and, still using his

momentum, goes forward.

As you’re dragging it, it’s gonna go

two strikes against you.

Uh…

13.

TRAVIS: Misses.

MATTHEW: And 15.

Misses.

Just both axes do strike and hit you,

but one of them hits the shoulder armor

on the back of your shoulder,

kind of cracks part of the bone

and just streaks off the metal.

The other one comes down and hits you

in the back of the Belt of Dwarvenkind.

You feel a little sink of pain

as it kind of cuts through

some of the leather,

but even the belt itself

deflects most of the attack.

TRAVIS: I look over and say,

“Sit down, son, before you hurt yourself.”

(laughing)

MATT: Make an intimidation check.

(laughing)

LAURA: Oh.

TRAVIS: It’s a 1.

(laughing)

MATTHEW: He rolled a 20, so, yeah.

(laughing)

He’d have a really witty comeback

if he didn’t have a dagger

in his sternum at the moment.

MATTHEW: Yeah.

(laughing)

He’s a little distracted at the moment.

All right, so, that being said,

the guy who’s on the ground now–

any of you guys wanna do

anything at this point?

I’ll shoot an arrow at the

other guy standing there.

LIAM: Finish him off.

MARISHA: Am I back to town yet?

MATTHEW: Not yet.

This is–

MARISHA: It takes a while.

23?

MATTHEW: 23 it is.

Roll damage, with Hunter’s Mark.

Hunter’s Mark and sneak attack.

MATTHEW: Yes, because he cannot see you.

He’s unaware of your presence.

TALIESIN: God, we’re mean.

LIAM: Efficient.

TALIESIN: Efficient.

21.

MATTHEW: All righty.

That’s the first arrow.

MATTHEW: All right.

Oh, that was so close!

14.

14.

It misses.

It’s okay, though,

I was going to let you

roll the second anyway.

21, the arrow strikes him

right through the throat,

and he just (gurgles and chokes)

and grasps for his throat, gurgling

before he falls to his knees and

slumps into the ground, head to the side,

kind of still clutching

at it as he slowly,

the life spills out of him.

(laughing)

LIAM: He died as he

lived, deeply unimpressed.

(laughing)

The other guy gets up, though,

and he’s going to use action

trying to break the grapple.

That is going to be a–

LAURA: Fail!

Come on, Grog.

Come on, Grog!

16.

TRAVIS: Misses.

(laughing)

It’s contested with your athletics.

Oh.

And I have to roll an athletics check?

MATTHEW: Yeah.

You are raging, so technically

you have advantage on it.

That’s pretty good.

I’ll take the 18.

Athletics 26.

Yeah, he’s still grappling,

you can’t do anything on that.

It’s your turn.

TALIESIN: He’s wriggling!

It’s my turn?

Well, I look to him and I say,

“I will let you fly from here

if you answer this question.

"Is Kevdak or Zanror in the city?”

Make a persuasion check.

No, this would be intimidation.

Intimidation, not persuasion.

This is how Goliaths prom dance.

Uh, 8.

MATTHEW: 8?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

(laughing)

Okay, as you’re holding

him there, he goes,

“You’ll find out, won’t you?”

I take his neck and I smash

my head into his nose.

It just breaks and crumbles,

his face is partially caved in,

and you can see blood just running

rapidly out of his nostrils

where his bones were.

“You won’t be there to watch my discovery.

"Are they in the city?”

“Yeah, they’re waiting for you.”

“Good, I’ll let you fly now.”

And I kick him into the pit.

(laughing)

MARISHA: Whee!

All right, I’ll say as you use

your movement to push forward,

go ahead and make your athletics check.

18.

And with that, he–

(mimics fight sounds)

Reaching out, grasps, catches the

very edge of the ledge behind him,

and the rock just breaks.

(laughing)

“No!”

He vanishes, screaming, into the pit below

as you step forward and look over.

What little glint of daylight

even makes the bottom area,

'cause it’s far out of

your range for dark vision,

you just see enough of a

movement on the bottom,

and then no movement whatsoever.

TALIESIN: You Wile E. Coyote’d that guy!

Oh, man.

GROG: You all right down there?

(laughing)

No answer.

Yay!

Yay!

LIAM: And scene.

You’ve made it–

I’m looking for Scanlan, too, by the way.

Kind of keeping an eye out for Scanlan.

Perception check.

Uh, 23.

23, okay.

The second time.

As you’re glancing through,

you see no sign of Scanlan.

You do see now that…

There are small groups

of these clan individuals

are now pulling out of homes

various denizens of Westruun

and pulling them towards

the center of town.

They’re screaming and kicking, you know,

or some of them just

aren’t putting up a fight

because they have no way to,

and they’re just pulling

them, almost like shields,

to the center of town.

It seems like they…

MARISHA: Have a plan.

MATTHEW: Have a plan.

TALIESIN: Shit.

I don’t know that.

I haul ass back.

Heading back.

Do I see them, do I see the group?

We’ve cleared the area,

more or less, yeah?

MATT: I mean, the area where they

are, as you glance back?

Yeah, there doesn’t appear

to be any current set.

Whoever was set to go to that side

of the gate to check it out–

MARISHA: Has been hit?

Has not returned.

MARISHA: Sure.

Can I turn back into a crow,

or do you need, do I need to–

I have to cast that on you.

But it’s new casting, it’s

not just the same casting?

MARISHA: Correct.

TALIESIN: Okay, good.

I can’t drop it in and out.

MATTHEW: So you’re heading back?

I head back.

Okay.

Scanlan.

Oh, me?

MATTHEW: Yes. So–

SAM: Oh, Jesus.

As some time has passed,

you guys have waited it out.

MARISHA: I’m looking for Scanlan

on my way back, by the way.

Yeah.

You are currently hunkered down with

Kaylee, Dr. Dranzel, and this

cluster of nine survivors.

You’ve managed to parry off one incursion

of these herd members within the temple.

The barricaded door is

still slightly ajar,

as closing it would make

quite a bit of noise.

SAM: Mm-hmm.

What are you planning to do?

(sighs)

I mean, I have to get these people

out of the city, I guess.

So, they know the location of the

entrance to the sewers, correct?

Kaylee had said that she knew, yeah.

All right, well then, I’m just going to…

Shit.

Do I know that the Goliaths were

working with orcs at all, or…

Was it just Goliaths, is it–

Well, no.

From what you’ve heard from when…

When Grog was interrogating

the first member

of the herd that you guys found

on your way south

through Westruun, there–

it was a largely Goliath herd that had

been challenged by and

then defeated another clan

and then absorbed them, and the other clan

involved a lot more varying

races and specialities.

There were half-orcs, there were some

kind of wild elves that

were part of the crew,

and a lot of the brigand humans.

It was very much kind of like just–

defeated their leader, took in the others

because their choice was

to either die or join.

SAM: Mm-hmm.

And as such, it has

grown to this much more

mammoth-sized roving herd.

I don’t remember the name of

that herd or anything, right?

Or what they looked like.

But they were motley,

and they involved half-orcs and things.

MATTHEW: There were a couple half-orcs,

there were a few humans that were, like,

I think you saw one wild elf,

and then mostly Goliaths,

based around the center

of the Margraves estate.

Okay.

All right.

Uh, well, we’re,

I tell the people, there’s

nine people, right?

MATTHEW: Yeah.

Plus Me, Kaylee and Doctor?

Uh, all right, well, I gather

the people around and I say,

“We’re going to be moving

through the city rather fast.

"In case we are spotted, I need to

"hide you people, or make you not

"a target, so I’m going

to disguise you all

"as a band of irritable half-orcs

"and grotesque humans and

the like using Seeming.

"And just look ornery, and look mean,

"and if you are approached, just sort of

"spit and kick the dirt and look pissy.

"We’ll go.”

Make a performance check.

A performance check?

In showing them and guiding them–

Oh, I can demonstrate it for them.

Yes, with my acting abilities.

(laughing)

Okay, I’m such a good performer.

I’m not even gonna look.

Taliesin, what did I roll?

Um, well, uh, you’re doing okay.

It’s okay, you–

with your performance bonus, that’s a 20.

Okay, good.

(laughing)

You take a moment to show, like,

some guttural snarls, teach a few odd,

you know, curse words in orcish

that you learned through your travels.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, just

some vocal warm-ups,

you know, when you wanna get deep,

(growls) everyone try.

(growls)

That’s good, that’s good, that’s good.

Work on that.

You all gather up, along

with Dranzel and Kaylee,

who looks kind of suspicious

at what you’re attempting,

she’s like, “What exactly

are you trying to do here?”

I’m just trying to keep us safe

and get these people to the sewers.

You know the way out

of the city, don’t you?

“Aye, I can show you.”

All right.

Do you have weapons, can

you protect yourself?

Are you okay?

“I can protect myself.

"Don’t worry, Scanlan.”

I’m just worried, I

have to worry about you,

I will always be worried about you.

I’m sorry.

“You’ll always be disappointed to find

"that I can take care of myself.”

No, I won’t be disappointed at all.

In fact, that makes me quite happy.

“Good, can we be off then?”

Well, all right.

Okay, as long as you’re happy, I’m happy.

“All right.”

Listen, I’m sorry, it’s just–

(laughing)

I never get to see you, and

I know we’re in a rush

here and everything.

You can’t, listen, you can’t hate away

me being your father, all right?

I will always be the guy, no matter

how much you curse my name and wish I was

not part of you, my

blood is inside of you–

LAURA: Ew.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, people,

but, you know, I care about you.

All right?

“All right, it’s not going to stop me from

"trying to hate you away, but…

"I get what you’re saying.

"Well, do your trick.”

Okay.

So I cast Seeming on the lot, and

I make a few orcs and a few humans.

Any number of creatures

within 30 feet of you.

So, all of these Westruun peasant folk,

yourself, Dr. Dranzel, and Kaylee

all of a sudden become,

to varying sized degrees–

I can make people a foot taller.

Taller, yeah, so like, they

can be somewhat larger.

You’re still–

You guys are still tiny

little goblinoid half-orcs

but it gives a visual perspective,

based on what you’ve seen of this troop,

and everyone kind of looks at themselves,

looking at the back of their hands.

There’s this one kind of younger man

in his mid-teens, he’s

like, “This is amazing!”

(grunts)

And they’re also making

the noises at each other,

like for a brief moment, all of the fear

subsides as they’re, for the moment,

getting into the play of

acting like a half-orc,

and then they all get serious again

and look to you and

Kaylee and Kaylee goes,

“All right then, follow me.”

SAM: She’s so good!

Slinks out the door, looks

back and forth for a moment.

Leans back in.

“Coast is clear.”

She nods.

You see a troop of about…

It would be 12 half-orc looking barbarians

of varying aggressive stances

start pouring out of a broken

temple and into the street.

I swoop down a little closer.

MATTHEW: They’re heading–

SAM: And attack us!

(laughing)

MATTHEW: I’m waiting to see!

Tippi Hedren.

Caw!

Her elemental drop…

(laughing)

Super!

Tails in the hole!

Can I tell them it’s Scanlan and crew?

No.

You have no idea.

It’s very believable.

It’s very believable.

And you see this roving

band of half-orcs now

that are heading southward

of the town in a cluster.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATTHEW: They’re like,

jumping from one alleyway to another,

and they’re heading kind of southwest.

Am I like, “This is sporadic

for a group of orcs,”

or am I like, “Crazy

fuckin’ group of orcs!”

Make an insight check.

All right.

Yeah, it’ll work–

I’m taking it back, I’m taking it back!

Ooh, that was better, that was better!

I felt bad.

(laughing)

ASHLEY: She bailed on her roll-

No!

(laughing)

I didn’t trust it, it was in the air.

26.

26.

Something is off about this troop,

but you’re uncertain what it is.

Okay.

All right.

MATTHEW: All right, you

guys continue to move–

SAM: Continue to move, as fast as possible.

You move southward past

one sequence of alleys

to the next street, south,

and Kaylee continues

to usher up to the edge of the alleyway.

She looks back and forth.

Nods, and you guys walk

into the street again.

As you step into the

street, a voice goes, “Hey!”

And Kaylee stops and whips around and

looks in that direction, and you can see

a group of three individuals,

led by one Goliath

and there is one kind of wild-looking elf

who has, like, face-paint strewn across

the front of their expression, with this

long, almost dredlocked, light brown hair,

and what looks to be an older human

with, like, streaks of black and grey,

and this long, long beard that’s

tied off near the stomach.

Bare-chested, with, like,

scars across the chest

and they all kind of loom

up as the Goliath steps up,

pointing out, “We need

you to the west gate!”

And he kind of steps up.

“Who’s your watcher?”

I step forward and say, “He

was killed by that gnome.”

“Gnome? Where’d you see it?”

“Right in the center of town.

"He was a scary undead gnome,

and he’s roaming about.

"Kevdak sent us to search for him.”

Make a deception check.

(groans)

19.

19!

So ugly.

“Center of town, aye?

"Well then, you should

probably come with us, then.

"See if we can swarm it.”

If I may, if I may actually,

(laughing)

Kevdak said to follow the

gnome, and he ran this way.

I’m sorry, we have to

follow Kevdak’s orders.

GROUP: Ooooh…

All right, all right.

Yeah, I’m sorry.

(laughing)

TALIESIN: Please, please, God!

Make another deception

check with disadvantage.

MARISHA: Oh, no!

TRAVIS: Come on, baby.

LIAM: “Gotta get there before they

"run out of cucumber sandwiches!”

ASHLEY: Come on, come on.

Same thing!

19.

He goes, “All right, we’ll

send a few more men your way.”

TRAVIS: Oh, fuck.

“Stay on that trail!

"If I see you again, and you ain’t got

"a dead gnome in your hands,

"I’m gonna cut that head

from its shoulders.”

All right, you have my

word, we’re gonna do–

see ya later!

(laughing)

“Strange one

"All right.”

And two of them head back as one of them

just kind of keeps their

distance behind you guys,

following you as you travel.

You dart into the next alley.

Kaylee’s like “ Come on, come on!”

And as you guys duck into the shadows,

everyone’s pace quickens to the center

of this alleyway, where there is…

It seems like a large stack of

partially emptied crates that contain,

like, broken pieces of furniture,

it’s essentially a small dump in the area.

Nothing food or, you know, refuse-wise,

but there’s definitely, like, this is a…

A graveyard for broken furniture.

But in the center, there is a small,

cylindrical stone protrusion,

and a grate on top.

And Kaylee runs up.

“Quick, quick, help me get this open!”

At which point–

Doctor?

Dr. Dranzel comes forward and goes,

“Let me take care of this.”

Which is funny, cause Dr. Dranzel

looks just like himself,

but just all covered in…

(laughing)

Facepaint, you can’t see his hat.

It’s…

He’s kind of enjoying

this persona for a moment.

He goes (spits, grunts)

and strains as he pulls upward, straight.

Natural 20!

(cheers)

Does he strain?

Throws it aside–

Everyone can beat doors but us.

(laughing)

“And don’t you forget it!

"So, inside?”

Yes, go, go, go.

And they all start climbing in.

Dranzel and Kaylee are helping get

the peasants down inside first,

at which point the one

that was following you guys

turns the corner in the alleyway

and starts approaching from behind.

This is the guy with the

long black and grey beard.

“You, where are you going?”

That gnome again.

One of us saw him go down this sewer.

We’re following.

“I’m gonna have to come

back and report this.

"I don’t trust it.”

“Hold on one second!”

And I’m gonna cast Hold Person on him.

MATTHEW: Okay.

LIAM: Get it, get it, get it Scanlan!

Get it!

Natural 20 on his saving throw.

Oh, no!

As he turns around,

and he stops for a second,

looks over his shoulder.

“Oh, you gotta be kidding me, we got–”

At which point Kaylee

reaches out with her hand

and let’s see if this works or not.

5, 8…

LAURA: Too many guys!

As he turns around and

goes to walk away, he

(laughing)

falls face first asleep on the ground

on the outside of the alleyway.

Just, (thuds)

halfway in the sun of

the main thoroughfare.

Kaylee runs up real fast and

grabs his ankles and drags him.

I try to help!

“Go, go, go!”

I don’t know the ways through the sewers!

You have to go lead them, not me!

(sighs)

She drops the leg down.

I start dragging him.

You guys start dragging him off the side,

and you guys quickly go, dart in.

As you all jump inside,

Dranzel grabs the grate top.

He gets down behind it–

Right before he closes it, I step out.

I step out and I say,

“Take them to safety.

"Bring them outside the city.

"Hide, stay safe.”

“All right.

"Same goes for you, Scanlan.”

Well, I’ll do my best.

“Yeah you will.”

And he pulls it down,

screws it into place,

to where it feels kind of taut,

and you are now on your

own outside of this area

with a sleeping individual as

his snoring slowly subsides.

He starts rousing from his

slumber about a minute later.

Rubbing his chin.

What do you do?

While he was still asleep, I was

booking it towards the

western gate, away from him.

Stelth check.

18.

Okay.

All right, so the rest of you guys,

at this point in time, what’s the plan?

Guys, I’m heading in towards the city.

Do we have a report yet?

Keyleth?

I’m getting nervous about Scanlan.

MARISHA: Can I hear him?

Am I close enough by yet?

I’d say by now you’ve

returned in raven form,

you can hear him over the earpiece.

LIAM: And it’s been how

long since we’ve seen him

since he went in?

MATTHEW: Since Scanlan went in, I’d say–

Since the bells.

Since the bells, it’s been about…

Oh, man, about ten minutes.

Really?

We should’ve seen him by now.

I come down and I land

on Percy’s shoulder.

(caws)

SAM: Not that again.

(laughing)

And then I–

Someone fell down a well?

(laughing)

I come out of raven form.

Not on my shoulder.

Not on his, well, maybe

I kind of like slide off.

Sorry!

Sorry.

What did you see?

Report, report!

Okay.

They are ripping all of the

townspeople out of their houses.

It looks like they have their own

counter plan for a situation like this.

There was also a band of very strange orcs

heading this direction,

they were acting strangely,

I don’t trust it.

We can either get out ahead of them,

or try and wait and see if…

VAX: Were they headed this way?

They were headed this way.

LIAM: We should probably move then.

LAURA: Did you see Scanlan?

Then we should–

I did not see Scanlan.

Let’s head towards the center of town.

They might have him held prisoner.

MARISHA: They might

have him held prisoner.

Why didn’t we give a gatestone?

We should always give–

LAURA: Because we’re fucking morons!

I didn’t know he was going to go that far!

LAURA: I thought he was just going to the gate.

LIAM: Every time, that’s the thing, okay?

Gate stones.

I promise when this is over,

I will surgically implant it in him.

Scanlan, can you–

Scanlan, can you hear us at all?

TALIESIN: Hello?

TRAVIS: Anything?

We just gotta go in.

Dammit!

I’m gonna start making

my way on the rooftops

towards the center of the town, I’m like

“I’m heading in, I’m keeping to the roof,

"if I’m going to take any shots

"I’ll try and take them quietly.”

I fly up and I–

I go along the roofline with him.

I fly up on the broom, and then I

land on the rooftop and stealth.

Okay.

It’s at this point in time

you see the two giant eagles,

the ones that took Keyleth off earlier.

As you come up on your

broom, it kind of sees you.

(screech)

TALIESIN: Oh, I’ve been watching those things.

Right.

And as you’re having this discussion,

they notice up her float up and

kind of see you guys

moving in towards the city.

One of them just turns around,

heads back to the center of town.

LAURA: Eh, shitballs.

Another one’s taking a cheap shot at you.

Towards you.

Roll initiative.

Everybody who’s gonna have anything

to do with this right now.

Oh, I’m getting in on this shit, too.

LAURA: Yeah.

How far away from–

24.

They’re probably a good–

LIAM: Way up high in the sky on this one?

MARISHA: Are we trying to get this–

We’re talking about 100 to

150 feet up, comparatively.

Are we trying to get this eagle?

Is that what we’re trying–

Yeah.

It’s trying to kill me.

TALIESIN: 19.

Yeah, can I get in on that as well?

MATTHEW: Yeah, roll initiative.

All right, so…

LAURA: 24.

MATTHEW: 24, Jesus.

And 19.

MATTHEW: 19.

18.

Nice!

Yeah, man!

MATT: (sneezes)

Sorry, what did you get?

ASHLEY: 18.

MATTHEW: 18, all right.

LAURA: Sarenrae blesses you.

17.

12 for Keyleth.

MATTHEW: All right.

All right.

All right, Vex, as the eagle swoops in,

you have a brief moment

where it’s coming at you.

You can go ahead and make your shots at it

or whatever you wanna do this round.

What do you want to do?

How–

if I, if I land on the

ground and shoot at it,

will it be within range?

MATTHEW: At the speed it’s going,

you’re not gonna be able to

get back on the ground this round

unless you spend your

whole round getting there.

Then I shoot at it from the air.

MATTHEW: Okay, so two

shots at a disadvantage.

Uh, 25 on the first.

On the first, all righty, that hits.

LAURA: Okay.

17 on the first hit.

MATTHEW: 17 damage?

Yes.

MATTHEW: All righty.

And 24 on the second hit.

TRAVIS: Dang, girl.

MATTHEW: That hits.

Uh, 13 on the second hit.

Okay, as you, this is with

a disadvantage, right?

LAURA: Yeah.

As you release the first arrow,

wings are up, giant sharp beak extended,

its claws in the air, the

arrow sinks into its body,

but it still kind of just shakes it off,

continuing going into a

further dive toward you,

its wings outward.

LAURA: Fucker!

The second arrow, the second arrow

strikes at the side of the face,

kinda scrapes across and embeds

in front of its winged shoulder.

At which point, its form goes

(wooshing noise)

into what you see to

be a female elven form

(gasps)

and then just drops

straight down for 100 feet.

TALIESIN: Into the pit?

Into the pit?

Uh, no, this is more

inside the city right now.

Damn.

But she was 250 feet up!

That turned out to be about 100 feet up.

That still sounds pretty bad!

Really bad.

SAM: I don’t wanna drop from…

TRAVIS: It’s like softball, right?

I’m just waiting.

You guys watch as she just goes

(falling sound, thud)

(laughing)

Like, there’s a little–

LAURA: Oh, no.

A little elf puddle?

TALIESIN: Is that other one still looking?

MATTHEW: The other one’s still looking.

Out of bad news range?

Uh, no, still within bad news range.

ASHLEY: Take the shot.

LAURA: Do it, Percy!

I’m gonna, I’m gonna, not

only am I gonna take a shot–

TRAVIS: Gonna ring that bell, are you?

I’m gonna take a, gonna take a wing shot.

Keyleth runs towards the girl who fell.

LAURA: Good job, good job, guys.

MATTHEW: So you start

heading in that direction.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATTHEW: Taking your two shots.

I’m gonna do a ring shot,

we’ll see what happens.

TRAVIS: If you miss, we move.

MATTHEW: Okay.

Oh, yeah, that’s 28.

28 hits.

This is gonna suck for her.

Here we go.

(explosion noise)

Really loud–

MATTHEW: Loud, echoing blasts–

They knew we were coming already.

MATTHEW: Echoing through the city.

They’re already gathering

people in the center of town.

A little late now.

We kill a bunch of them,

oh God, that’s awful.

Yeah, that’s pretty bad.

Uh, 13 points of piercing damage.

MATTHEW: Okay.

And she also has to make

a strength saving throw.

Uh, that is gonna be a…

19?

Not going to beat that.

12.

I think she–

It says she gets knocked prone,

so I don’t know what you want to

call that for something flying, but–

That’s, she’s falling now.

TALIESIN: Yep.

Yep.

And so she’s falling, you

hit her, one of the wings

and she begins plummeting downward,

not able to gather air at the

moment underneath the wings.

Are you taking your second shot?

Uh, sure, I’ll just take,

and for this one, I’m gonna be an asshole

and just take a sharpshooter shot.

MATTHEW: Okay.

And I’ll use the big die!

MATTHEW: Go for it.

Trade up.

Uh, that’s a–

I’ll say before you commit,

I’ll say this has disadvantage

because it went from

flying at a smooth pace

to plummeting and you have to quickly–

TALIESIN: I had to reload

in the middle, so like–

Yeah.

I’m, like, skeet shooting here.

MATTHEW: Yeah.

Ugh.

That’s a, I’m gonna miss.

That’s like a 5 to hit, so that…

That’s 12.

12 just hits.

(gasps)

Giant eagle AC is not that great, man!

That’s so sad!

Oh God, I feel bad now!

(laughing)

LAURA: 12?

MATTHEW: Giant eagle

doesn’t have a crazy AC.

That, oh man, I really feel–

MATTHEW: It’s more of a travel form,

it’s not meant for…

Fighting.

You know, main fighting.

The one that was going for you is

just 'cause you were the

one that was nearest to it.

It wasn’t expecting a hail

of arrows in its face.

29 points of damage.

And with that, you see it falls an eagle,

and then (wooshing noise)

into a person, it falls–

(laughing)

and disappear behind the skyline

of the building of Westruun that

block your view of the center of town.

Well, they don’t know

who’s coming, at least.

ASHLEY: Are we close enough to

loot that first body?

Sure, you guys–

MARISHA: Well, I was headed that way.

ASHLEY: We’re headed that way.

You guys then–

TALIESIN: I’m staying on the roof.

Moving around the chasm

you create, you head

inside the western gate

of Westruun at this point.

MARISHA: Hang on, wait, well,

oh, I’m headed to the body still?

It’s inside the gate?

Yeah.

Yeah, it fell inside the gate of the city.

You approach, and it’s a rough scene.

Fell on, like, the head and the shoulder.

The rest of the body’s kind of–

LAURA: Ew!

Accordioned in.

Like the body, does it appear to be

any druid related to the Ashari clan?

Looking it over, make

an investigation check.

TALIESIN: Figure out

which end is up first.

I need a really good check.

My investigation’s not very good.

It’s your dad!

Oh!

(laughing)

20.

20.

You take a quick glance

over, checking where any

ceremonial markings of

the Ashari are, none.

This individual appears to be more of

a primal-based Druidic talent.

There are tattoos, pretty basic,

various animal totems that

are inscribed on the body.

You’re familiar with

this form of druidic magic.

It’s a less-refined version of

what the Ashari people learn and teach.

MARISHA: Gotcha.

But yeah, there’s no inclination

this is a member of the Ashari.

Okay.

So, is there anything good on her?

There is a…

A soaked set of leather armor.

(chuckles)

TRAVIS: Soaked in what?

MARISHA: Non-magical?

Non-magical, from what you can gather.

SAM: Pee.

And what looks to be a

shattered quarter-staff

that may have been landed on.

(groans)

Beyond that, you’re gonna have to get

sifting through the remains,

it’s not gonna be a fun experience

for what little you may gather.

I’ll let it go.

LIAM: You gonna start harvesting?

I’ll let it go.

(laughing)

MATTHEW: “Start harvesting.”

TRAVIS: She made her choice.

(laughing)

Well, I’m gonna start

rooftopping towards the center.

If I see anything interesting

going on in the city,

I wanna stop and investigate.

Ditto!

Sneaking from rooftop to rooftop?

If I can, can I do a bit of–

I’m gonna do that, for sure.

Can I use acrobatics?

You, this more of a,

this isn’t acrobatics,

this is more of a jump.

Because there are large,

large city street gaps

that are, like, 25 to 30 feet.

MARISHA: What about parkouring?

But if I can parkour it, I can find,

I wanna be able to…

Parkour, parkour!

I wanna try and be smart about it

and find it any way I can make it.

Right, make an acrobatics check.

TALIESIN: An acrobatics check?

Thank you.

SAM: Amateur Spider-man.

LAURA: Can I join in?

I was gonna join in.

Up there.

MATTHEW: Do you want to get

off your broom and do that?

That was the thing, yeah, I was gonna

fly up on the broom and

land on the roofs and then–

MATTHEW: Gotcha.

Yeah, so you go ahead

and you get up with him

and you can go–

the two of you can start, like,

parkouring off the rooftop.

LIAM: There’s a mechanical engineer on the roof.

(laughing)

23.

MATTHEW: 23?

SAM: (screams)

You guys make it a

couple of streets before

you reach a point where this block does,

'cause the main street intersects

with another main street

that goes southward

and the gap is about

30 feet to jump across

and you know from experience that

you couldn’t do that with a regular jump.

I’ve got an idea.

If you give me the

broom, I’ll just hold on

and plant me down if we see anything.

We’ll just keep low by the roof.

(laughing)

LAURA: Can’t you just

sit on the broom with me?

What is going on, are Grog and Pike and I

just supposed to stand

over here by the gate?

Are you guys gonna head off?

MARISHA: We have a plan.

I thought we were going in.

We’re heading into the city–

LAURA: I thought we were all going in.

I mean, we had a plan, and then

we didn’t have a plan, so we have like…

LIAM: We’re going seven

different directions.

You look up as you see,

suddenly glance overhead,

a shadow from one rooftop to another.

Make a perception check.

Uh, 18.

TALIESIN: It’s Batman!

18.

You glance up and you see the

dangling, kicking feet of Percy

underneath a broom that

just (wooshing noise)

across the top of that.

All right.

I didn’t know there was room on there!

They’re traveling, yes?

Yeah, they’re traveling

back inward to the city.

All right.

Well, that’s good.

I can’t, I probably can’t catch up.

I’m just gonna keep hoofing it.

LAURA: Wait, but the earrings!

Oh wait, I can hear, yes, yes!

Ooh!

(laughing)

Thank you, I forgot about that!

Uh, yeah.

Hey, hi, oi, guys, oi, oi.

LAURA: Scanlan!

SAM: Oi, oi.

SAM: How’s it going?

Did my plan work?

MARISHA: I don’t know, did your plan work?

TALIESIN: What was your plan?

My plan was to send all the Goliaths,

all of them, out through the main gate.

Did they all come through the main gate?

No.

No, definitely not.

LIAM: If there was only six, it worked.

MARISHA: Scanlan, it appears they are

doubling down in the center of the town.

Do you have any idea on why

they would be doing this?

Well, I don’t know,

they’re very perceptive.

I may have alerted all

of them to our presence.

MARISHA: Oh, fantastic.

SAM: But…

It was a distraction.

MARISHA: Sure.

And in a sense, that was my mission, so–

TALIESIN: A distraction from what?

LAURA: You know what, we killed nine of them.

MARISHA: A distraction from

their terrible, terrible lives.

TRAVIS: Good job, Scanlan, mission accomplished.

Yes, thank you, thank you.

ASHLEY: Hey Scanlan, I’m glad you’re okay.

Oh, thanks, is that Pike?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

Oh, hi, Pike!

ASHLEY: Hi!

Oh, how’s it going out there?

Oh, it’s good, it’s good–

Can we do this–

Okay, okay, okay.

What should I do, where

should I go, who should I kill?

LIAM: Stay put and let us come to you.

What do you see around you?

MARISHA: Yeah, where are you?

SAM: Idiots on broomsticks flying around.

LAURA: Oh, shit, that’s us!

All right.

Can we all convene in an alley?

You do.

You convene in an alley.

Within the next few

minutes, a little bit of a

confusing telephone bit

going back and forth,

but you do eventually gather.

At this time, you guys do hear

what sounds like some voices shouting

about a block and a half up the way.

LAURA: Shit.

MARISHA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Are there buildings?

SAM: Are we all together now?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATTHEW: Yeah.

By the way, hi, hi, this is me.

LAURA: Oh my god, you don’t

even look like yourself.

I look pretty cool.

TRAVIS: It’s so good to see you.

We should get inside for a moment.

We should.

Is there a wine cellar

or door or something

that we can beat in, or a window?

There are windows, you

don’t see a wine cellar

in the immediate vicinity

of this alleyway.

LIAM: I’ll get it open quietly,

I’m not gonna break anything!

TRAVIS: Can I look in the window first?

Yeah, you go ahead and glance in.

Make a perception check.

I see nothing. It’s a 2.

MATTHEW: It is very dark.

There’s no light inside, and–

LAURA: What about our darkvision?

Can we see anything in there?

No.

Even if your darkvision,

you guys see as well,

there’s nothing inside.

The building appears to be vacant.

LIAM: Is it locked?

The window is locked.

Very minor lock.

Well, I just rolled a natural 20, so…

LAURA: You wasted it on a window?

MATTHEW: That was the most deft

unlocking you’ve ever done.

LIAM: I hit it like Fonzie.

Yeah.

(laughing)

We pop in the window.

Great.

You guys all crawl inside of the room, and

looking inside, you do notice that the…

Some of the furniture

is kind of tipped over,

the front door, actually, that leads

out to the main road,

the south-facing road,

the knob is broken off like

someone just kicked the door in.

And it looks like there were

signs of a minor struggle,

but there’s no bloodshed

from what you can see.

Most of, if any, belongings that

had any value have been taken.

The place looks stripped

of anything metallic.

It looks like it’s been pretty heavily

ransacked inside here.

MARISHA: Grog.

TRAVIS: Yeah?

They were dragging everyone

out of every available door,

and dragging them to the

city, the center of the city.

Why?

TRAVIS: People shields.

Meat shields.

Meat shields?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: Right.

Okay.

So we go to them, and if we get too close,

they slit all their throats.

It’s like basic Goliath logic.

LAURA: Lovely.

LIAM: So is maybe the one-on-one combat

our only option at the moment?

Do we have any other option?

How many were there total?

We don’t know how many…

Probably 30 to 40 now.

SAM: Oh, okay.

Probably down to 20 or 30.

Well.

Wait, there was 30 or 40 to start,

and we killed nine of them?

Remember, he said we were down to like 50.

We killed, like, nine-ish.

SAM: Oh, so 40-ish.

So two left.

LAURA: Six left, Grog, then, six?

TRAVIS: Yeah, it’s like a thousand.

(laughing)

TALIESIN: Let’s…

MARISHA: Okay.

All right.

SAM: I’ve got a plan.

I go to the center of town.

Yeah.

I create a distraction.

(laughing)

LAURA: Seriously?

That’s pretty much all

my plans are, always.

TRAVIS: What time is it?

MATTHEW: Right now, you’re

pushing early afternoon.

It’s probably, I’d say the

equivalent of about 1, 1:30.

LAURA: Jeez.

TRAVIS: Perfect.

Last question I have.

Do we know where Wilhand’s

residence used to be?

MATTHEW: You do, you would know very well.

It’s outside of town.

MATTHEW: You spent a lot of your time–

Outside or inside?

It’s inside the town, but it’s a

little bit northwest of the center area.

So it’s closer to where a lot of the

temples and the worship areas are,

and there is a small park

there that was across the way.

LIAM: That may be something useful.

It’s a red brick building.

It stands out against a lot of it,

because it was built specifically

to kind of be the small, gnomish hovel

that was built buy his own hands.

So when attacking, right, once you’ve

given up your position,

it loses its worth.

So my suggestion would be that we move

to approach from another vantage point, or

we can just kick this

thing off and I walk in.

I’m fine either way.

MARISHA: All right, well…

Are we nearby a sewer system?

Scanlan, do you know?

Oh, I happen to know exactly

where a sewer system is.

We can try and sewer cross town.

Or we can just walk right in.

SAM: Where are we trying to get?

LAURA: To the center of town.

TRAVIS: We thought about seeing if maybe

we could get to Wilhand’s house.

SAM: Where is that, and

why would we be there?

Well, that’s Pike’s grandfather.

So I know, but does that provide us

with some strategic advantage?

No, but we might be able

to see if he’s all right.

They’ve probably dragged

him to the center of town.

How can we get through this?

Go ahead, Pike.

We could go to the center of town

and check to see if he’s there.

After we take care of business…

And then hopefully he’s not there.

I mean, he could provide a lot of help.

LAURA: Maybe we go to his house first.

He’s your grandfather.

TRAVIS: If we go to the center of town -

LAURA: It’s all going down.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: How do we get out of this with the most -

or sorry, with the least

civilian casualties, Grog?

TRAVIS: I’m not really thinking that far ahead.

MARISHA: Sure.

We were supposed to

also pick something up.

Yes, a two-story–

LAURA: We can do that after.

TALIESIN: Here’s the thing.

SAM: Well, wait.

The thing might help us, who knows?

It was a red brick two-story home–

SAM: Near the fountain.

Dark wood.

Wait–

Near the fountain crossroads.

TALIESIN: Pike, do you know this house?

Doesn’t that sound like the house that–

That’s Wilhand’s house.

Wilhand’s house is on the–

in the temple district stands out

because it’s a small little,

like, red brick area.

The one that he’s talking about is more of

a classic kind of dark wood

with red brick outside,

like the way he described it was

it’s very colonial-style, but like with

a brick base built around it.

Is that not the leader of,

the guy that runs the Westruun–

That was Master Quall’s house.

Master Quall.

Master Quall was just the master.

He’s his own little–

TRAVIS: That’s not that house.

No.

The Margrave’s house is the

one that’s in the town square,

and that’s where Kevdak apparently has

taken as his homestead.

Right, and that’s not the description.

So we have to start this

now, are we prepared?

There are pluses and

minuses to both thoughts.

They have a bunch of innocent people

who they may just start killing.

Here’s my question.

If we wait, will they ever,

theoretically, let them go?

Or is it easier to just

slit their throats?

TRAVIS: No.

Then we shouldn’t wait.

TALIESIN: We shouldn’t wait.

We shouldn’t wait.

Then we just do it.

Those of us with distance, we make,

we find positions around the square.

LAURA: We stealth around.

The second we start attacking,

they will start killing, so…

He walks in on his own,

challenges Kevdak to a duel.

Yeah, look–

On your own?

So it’ll go like this.

Everybody get high vantage points,

so I walk in, I’m pretty

sure if I call him out

he’ll step aside and we’ll do this thing.

If it starts going poorly, I

leave it to your discretion.

Or if other people start getting iffy

with the civilians, we

can start taking shots.

I know I can drop a few

before they do anything.

I’ve burned both of my wild

shaping abilities for right now.

Unless we wanted to take

a brief rest to regain our thoughts.

This is sort of a brief rest.

Is this considered, like, a short rest?

No, a short rest is like a half an hour

to an hour of, like, intentional–

We can afford it, we can take that.

MARISHA: A half hour?

Will they start killing people?

TALIESIN: Not in half an hour.

TRAVIS: No, they won’t do it for no reason.

They don’t even know where we are.

MARISHA: Yeah, 30 minutes is nothing

in a hostage situation.

TRAVIS: Take a short rest if you want to.

All right, let’s take a short rest

and we’ll finish fleshing out this plan.

MATTHEW: Okay.

MARISHA: Does anyone else need to heal up?

TALIESIN: I’m good.

MARISHA: I wanna burn a hit dice.

LAURA: I am too.

LAURA: I don’t want

you to waste any spells.

Save it.

I can use a hit die.

The Margrave house, when they were

flying over in mist

form, there was something

that looked like it was red and

smeared on the outside of the walls.

Was that the Margrave house?

Yeah.

SAM: Are we close

to the edge of town?

About, like, a five, six minute walk.

A brisk jog, I should say.

It’s close, but it’s

not, like, right outside.

SAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: That’s what I would say is my plan,

if you feel like walking,

we can point guard you from a distance

and make sure if anyone tries to attack.

MARISHA: Well, we should try and probably

have a few people on

civilian duty as well,

kind of like we did before.

TALIESIN: Yes.

That would be perfect,

if you’re willing to…

No, that’s, that can’t,

you don’t still have the house

that you can summon, do you?

Of course I do.

Can we put that door somewhere and start

sending people, if we

liberate them, to it?

Of course we can.

However, it would have to be somewhere

close to where the hostages are.

They would definitely see their hostages

jumping into a magical hole–

We could put your magical

hole inside of a building

and send people into the building

so that it’s got, like, double cover.

And if anyone finds your magical hole,

they can jump in it, or do

they have to have permission?

By the way, so many jokes, so many jokes.

(laughing)

Resisting.

You’re being very good.

Very firm on this one.

What happens if you lure a Goliath and orc

into the magical hole, do

they get stuck in there?

I imagine they’ll have

a lovely chicken dinner.

Yeah, 'cause after 24

hours, they get kicked out.

LAURA: They can leave when they want.

They can come and go as they please,

so it’s not like a roach motel.

No.

Vex can capture one of them.

LAURA: I can.

(sighs)

TALIESIN: That’s good to know.

MARISHA: Okay.

If we know the city this

well, how far would you say

is Wilhand’s place from where we are now?

I’d say it’s about…

TRAVIS: Mile and a half?

Yeah, about a 20, 25 minute walk north

from where you are right now.

It’s a little ways…

A little ways west of

Noja’s old store, and…

Yeah, it’s about 25 minutes.

Would you like to go first

and see if he’s there?

ASHLEY: It’s choosing between

the people in town or–

TALIESIN: You don’t have to.

You can send a couple

of us to go check in.

I grab the stone.

Go check, come back–

SAM: Wait.

I’m sorry, but we need Pike with us.

TALIESIN: She can go check,

and she’ll be back within 60 seconds.

She has to get there,

she’s the worst at stealth.

That’s very fair.

But we can send someone

and have them right back.

I mean, it’s not…

What if she, what if we

go there and we find him,

and then what, you can

pop back, but he’s alone?

You can’t pop two people

back with the stone.

I’ll go.

I can pop us back.

We can send him back, and

then I can get back on my own.

You don’t know where you’re going.

Pike, can you tell me how to get there?

Yes.

I’ve walked city streets that

I’ve never been in before.

We can start getting into our positions

and then when you’re done,

you can join one of us.

What’s gonna be the benefit of finding him

before the fight, as opposed to after?

That’s fair.

Well, unless they’re holding him.

Unless they’re holding him.

But they wouldn’t be holding him,

because they don’t expect us,

they don’t know it’s us that’s coming.

Well, then he’s either safe in his house,

or he’s in the middle of the town square.

Either of which–

She has a fair point.

TRAVIS: I’m good either way.

We’re okay.

Well, so if we cut off the head

of the snake, there’s no issue.

(sighs)

Let’s do it, let’s go towards–

And he is a very powerful

cleric, if we do find him.

So it would be nice to

have some extra help.

He may already be there.

And if he’s, I feel

like we should go town,

because that’s a lot more

people than one person.

Is his house near where

we’re going, or no?

TRAVIS: No.

It’s a wide arc, you

have to go up and over

to get to the center of town.

The center of town’s

not, like, right center.

It’s kind of, like, north center.

I mean, I could mist there, and I could

do something to get there faster.

No, we’re gonna need–

TRAVIS: You don’t need to.

ASHLEY: We need your spells.

Yeah, don’t waste your spells.

Look, let’s just face this,

wish each other good luck,

and we’ll meet in the middle.

Are we going to flank

the entire city center?

We’re going to make this, it’s

a town square, if I recall.

There’s like a, they’ve got a barricade.

Correct me if I’m wrong.

They’ve got a section of the city,

of the town, barricaded off.

Well, it’s not so much a barricade

more than they have

short little barricades

built in for, like, anti-cavalry

and for any large, like,

siege attempts or…

So we can slowly, we can

start to surround it.

We can be stealthy and singular,

we can keep in contact.

I can use Earth Elemental

to glide and literally

pop out right in the center

of town and avoid everything.

You could walk right in.

But you don’t want them to see you.

I would be underground.

Yeah, I just plan to walk right in.

And Grog, when you fight this person,

if he agrees to this one-on-one combat,

is it gonna be fists or a sword?

I have no idea.

(laughing)

Grog, I guess my one concern is

what’s stopping them from slitting

all of these people’s throats

at any drop of a second?

A warrior’s honor.

A warrior’s honor?

That’s weird, but good enough for me.

And do you think you can evoke that?

I guarantee it.

Men’s Warehouse.

(laughing)

Just crazy enough for it to work.

ASHLEY: You’re gonna like the way you look!

I guarantee it!

(laughing)

Okay.

I leave it up to your artistic influences

on where you go from here.

Don’t be afraid to call your

friends if you need help.

If I’m Earth Elemental, I won’t be able

to speak, so I’ll be relying on you.

You’ll be hearing on me.

I’ll be hearing on you.

MARISHA: I’m gonna go–

I’m gonna stay with Grog.

Okay.

Are you guys bee lining

it, like straight through–

No, I was gonna say–

MATTHEW: Or are you, like,

arcing past Noja’s place,

or are you going–

Yeah.

MATTHEW: What’s your plan?

Are we going for the element of surprise?

Would it be better for

me to Earth Elemental

and blast out in the

middle, or would it be

better for me to flank

with the rest of you?

It’s gonna go south if Kevdak

sees any of us pop out of the windows.

I think that Grog’s right,

he needs to go in alone.

We need to be hidden–

We need to flank and

be completely stealthy.

Okay.

And if shit goes south, then we go in.

Okay.

Is there anything we can

give Grog to help him?

SAM: Can’t you bless him or something?

TRAVIS: I do have a question.

MATTHEW: Yeah?

I can enhance his ability.

TRAVIS: Nah, never mind.

Are you attuned out, maybe?

MARISHA: What were you gonna say?

Yeah, I was gonna see

if I should switch out

the Gauntlets of Ogre Strength

for these Braces of Defense

that give me +2 to my

AC, but if I wear that,

then it takes out my natural armor.

What about–

No, it’s not considered armor.

Not actually wearing armor, it’s designed

for somebody who does not, so…

LIAM: Grog.

LAURA: Well, that’s good.

Grog!

What if I lend you my boots?

Which, when you put your heels together,

will also help your armor out a bit,

or help your chances of being hit.

Helps me attack faster.

You can give them back to me tomorrow.

And I can give you enhanced constitution.

No.

No.

I’ve learned that my

strength is with my friends

and my friends have their own strengths.

To each their own.

I don’t want you all

handicapping yourself for me.

I would like to change out

my Braces of Defense to get a +2 to my AC

for the Gauntlets of Ogre Strength.

Okay.

So your strength is now a 17.

You take a +2–

TRAVIS: The AC goes to 21.

MATTHEW: Correct.

Okay.

Because it goes to 17, my modifier is +3.

Would you like some extra

strength for your…

Yes, remember, Grog, that

mine and Scanlan’s strengths

are in helping the rest of our

friends and our fellow allies.

So we can grant you enhanced abilities.

Do you have to do it now?

I would much rather you

just did it on your own

and maybe not tell me about it.

MARISHA: Well, I could

do it ahead of time–

Just do it!

LIAM: Ix-nay on the elp-hay.

Just hug him.

Just hug him!

TALIESIN: I push her towards him.

Give him a hug for good luck.

MARISHA: Grog?

Oh, shit, what is this?

MARISHA: Grog.

TRAVIS: Hello.

We believe in you.

TRAVIS: Yep.

And I cast enhanced ability,

and I give him enhanced,

or I could get him, like…

I’m gonna give him Bear’s Endurance,

which gives him advantage

on constitution checks

and he gains an additional

2d6 temporary hit points.

Okay.

Go ahead and roll 2d6.

Me?

MATTHEW: Yep.

Big money, no whammies!

That’s not great, 6.

You have 6 temporary hit points,

and you have advantage

on constitution checks.

Advantage on constitution–

MATTHEW: Not saving throws.

Constitution checks.

Checks, okay.

MATTHEW: There are no skills

that are constitution-based.

Would it have been better to do strength?

MATTHEW: When he rages, he gets

advantage on strength anyway.

Oh, he already gets advantage on strength.

Okay.

He’ll be okay.

MATTHEW: But, you know, if it comes up.

Well, now that we’re done

being all touchy-feely

or whatever the hell that was–

SAM: Well, wait, wait, wait.

Oh, Jesus.

So wait, sorry, it’s just,

I found this old joke book,

I thought you might wanna hear this joke.

And I pull out my…

(laughing)

Bull strength scroll.

Oh, thank god.

And I’m gonna read him

the bull strength scroll.

Can I affect him with the +5 strength?

Well, the bull strength, as an ability,

just gives him advantage on

strength, which he already has.

Oh!

I thought it was a +5 to strength, no?

You must’ve pulled those stats

out of the old Pathfinder game.

Oh.

I have had this for a long time.

Well then, in that case, I’ll just,

I’ll sing you a rousing

song to put you on your way!

(clears throat)

♫ The stars at night

♫ Are big and bright

(clapping)

♫ Deep in the beard of Strongjaw ♫

(laughing)

Take your d10.

TRAVIS: Okay.

I’m going to cast Aid.

MATTHEW: Okay, and at what level?

I’m gonna do fourth level.

MATTHEW: Okay.

And I’m gonna cast it,

I can cast it on three.

MATTHEW: Three people, for +15.

+15.

MATTHEW: Who else do you choose?

So I will choose…

Vex.

Scanlan, how many hit points are you?

How many hits points do you have?

Uh…

I’m okay.

One of these two.

Never worry about me.

Does it stack with Grog?

Get Scanlan, Scanlan goes in combat a lot.

SAM: Never worry about me.

You can’t do it multiple times.

Scanlan?

SAM: Yes, my love.

I would like to aid you as well.

I really, I don’t need, I

don’t need any help, I’m fine.

MARISHA: Just shut up

and take it, Scanlan.

SAM: Is there some sort of–

Too late!

Is there some sort of ritual

that we need to do together

to make this happen?

ASHLEY: This happened so fast.

(laughing)

MATTHEW: And as she says that,

there’s a blast of warm

light across your chest

that fades as she has

already turned around.

However, Vex, Grog, and Scanlan, you guys,

your maximum hit points

are increased by 15.

And you get those 15 extra hit points

for the next eight hours.

SAM: Great.

LAURA: Nice!

Not concentration.

Anything else you want to cast?

No.

MATTHEW: No?

Okay.

I tap Grog on the

shoulder and I flash him.

(laughing)

Go get it, soldier!

TRAVIS: I can’t lose!

SAM: Wait, wait, wait!

(laughing)

Don’t you dare die happy.

Didn’t we just talk about this?

What?

Give him the fucking rock!

The rock that he can

bamf out of there with!

It takes a minute.

So?

It’s something.

A minute’s a long time.

Oh, all right, forget it!

I reach into my Bag of Holding

and I pull out my trusty salt lick rock,

and I kneel down to Pike.

I say, “Hey, hold this for me, all right?”

Okay.

Yeah.

Just keep it safe, I don’t

like getting blood on it.

But listen.

I can’t lose you twice in one day, okay?

Oh, no, I’m not going anywhere.

We’re just going to meet

some really bad folks

and we’re gonna set 'em straight.

Okay.

(laughing)

Go get 'em, okay?

MARISHA: That was the cutest thing!

Now, I walk out.

Oh, God, no!

Are you guys following behind,

or just letting him do his thing?

We stealth, like–

We watch him leave.

MATTHEW: Okay.

ASHLEY: I cast Pass

Without a Trace on him.

And then we stealth.

Any other last-minute things

you’re gonna help Grog with?

Or are we done?

TRAVIS: We’re good.

Okay.

Everyone’s good?

MARISHA: He’s pretty stacked.

Okay.

LAURA: Ish.

ASHLEY: We can stay close

to him, though, right?

I like that we managed to make,

like, solving problems with violence

into an ABC afternoon special, really.

MATTHEW: Kind of, yeah.

Remarkable.

Uh, okay.

LAURA: I cast Pass Without a Trace on us

so we can stealth.

All right.

So, the rest of you, go ahead

and make your stealth check.

MARISHA: Ooh!

MATTHEW: Which direction are you

traveling, Grog, by the way?

I guess just towards the heart of town.

Just beelining it straight to the center?

GROG: Not stopping.

Okay.

All righty.

So, stealth?

ASHLEY: 14.

SAM: Oh my god!

MATTHEW: With the ten?

What’s that?

MATTHEW: Plus ten.

Oh!

Then, 24!

SAM: Thank God.

LAURA: What?

LAURA: 29.

LIAM: 39.

MARISHA: 33.

TALIESIN: 34.

21.

All right.

Grog is not going stealthy, or

are you just walking through?

TRAVIS: Just walking through.

All right.

TALIESIN: (hums exciting music)

MATTHEW: As you guys follow suit,

dodging from alley to alley,

Grog, you step into the main roadway–

okay, you want rooftop?

You and Percy?

LAURA: Percy, are you

going to the rooftop?

All right, both of you

guys roll acrobatics checks,

we’ll just say as a continuation of this.

Natural one?

ASHLEY: No, that was a seven.

Was it?

Yeah.

No, I think it was a one!

(laughing)

MATTHEW: Nice try.

That thing was so–

(laughing)

LAURA: It might have been a seven,

but I thought it was a one.

Well, regardless, you guys

get but 30 feet before

(thud)

(laughing)

Vex, you suffer eight points of damage

as you plummet off–

LAURA: Come on!

MATTHEW: Of this,

the second-story buildings, and land–

I have a broom to get

up to the top, you know!

I know, and unfortunately, your foot

found one of those loose shingles,

and you lost your grip

on the broom,

tumbled, landed,

at which your broom then (thud)

about two feet in front

of you on the ground.

I caught it.

I didn’t want it to–

SAM: You are the shadow

that stalks the guilty.

(laughing)

MATTHEW: So you kind of look over

your shoulder for a second.

Keep marching forward.

You get about four blocks before you see

a group of four individuals,

no Goliaths among them.

It appears to be two

humans, a male and a female,

and one elf, and one halfling.

They’re all smeared and muddy

streaks across the face.

The halfling has their

head completely shaved off

and it has the two kind of lined scars

over the top of the face

to the back of the head.

They all turn the corner

and look over at you.

Take a moment to kind of look

for any sort of recognition.

They look at each other and begin

to walk forward, drawing their weapons.

Oh, lads, lads, no need for that.

I’ve traveled quite a long way.

See, I’m part of a

ranging party for Kevdak.

It’s very important that I see him.

You see, we’re family.

Now, you can either take me to him,

or I can drag you to him.

The elf kind of steps forward

and pushes the others away.

Draws these two thin short

swords from the side,

they look kind of jagged and chipped

like they’ve seen quite a few battles.

Leans forward and kind

of puts one eye on you,

leaning on the side as he approaches.

“Kevdak, you say?

"Family, you say?

"I’ve not seen your face,

"nor the travels you’ve had with the herd.

"But you say family.”

Don’t make me repeat myself.

Make a persuasion check.

(gasps)

Natural 20!

(laughing)

The others behind draw their weapons,

one of them pulls out this, like,

long nasty double-headed great ax

and kind of lets it down to the side

and begins to step forward.

The halfling draws this

gnarled spiked whip,

then kind of like cracks it on the ground,

begins stepping forward.

The female to the left of the elf

goes ahead and draws

this long, thin rapier

that almost has, like, a curve to it

and begins to point it forward

as the elf takes the two blades and

puts it out and stops the rest of them.

He goes, “All right, family of Kevdak.

"If you’re lying, it’ll

be fun to watch you scream

"as he tears the head from you.

"Walk to the front.”

Lead the way.

“Walk to the front.”

And I walk past them to the front.

All right.

The four of them flank behind you,

blades still drawn, and just slowly walk

about ten feet to your–

Now I ask you, as I was

approaching this city,

I saw a dragon fly over.

Picked up one who looked

just like me and flew away.

What’s it like being

the bitch of a dragon?

There’s a long pause as you keep walking.

And the same elven

voice pipes up and goes,

“Well, I imagine the gnashing teeth

"of such a beast would

be comparably painful

"as the gnashing tips of these blades

"if you don’t shut your

mouth, Goliath scum.”

You’ll be feeling the tips of those

before I feel the tips

of any teeth of dragons.

(laughing)

“Oh, there’s many a teeth waiting for you

"where you walk, friend.

"Keep going.

"Your insolence amuses me.”

As you guys are kind of keeping back,

I need everyone to make

another stealth check.

LIAM: That guy tortures

small animals, by the way.

TALIESIN: Natural 20.

Oh, 21.

24.

39.

12?

Plus 10?

Yeah.

SAM: Ooh, that’s our girl!

37.

All right.

As you guys are stalking behind,

there’s a moment where you all

duck into one of the alleyways

and as Pike spins into the alley,

the edge of her shoulder armor,

being wider than her actual form,

catches the edge of the building,

causing this large (clang) sound.

The sound of bending metal

clanging against itself.

At which point, the troop behind

Grog immediately spins around.

“Did you hear that?

"Is anyone following us?”

And as you’ve kind of

kept walking forward,

you feel the point of a blade just kind of

gently press into your lower back.

Good lord, you’re awful jumpy.

See, when I was last with this herd,

the mates that I ran around with

weren’t so quick to jump and hide

behind their mother’s skirts.

Keep your attention focused on me, son.

We’ve got important dealings to meet with.

Keep walking.

The blade pulls back.

As you continue to step forward,

you hear a little whisper behind you.

And you kind of glance over and look

as the halfling and the female

with the kind of hooked rapier

both break off and begin heading

back towards the alleyway.

LAURA: Perfect.

SAM: No problem.

So, as you guys step forward,

you guys now lurking in the alley

kind of pull off into the shadow.

Listening, you hear very,

very light footsteps

beginning to find their

way in your direction.

Can we wait until they

come around the corner?

I’m gonna continue–

I’m gonna continue following Grog just–

Are we gonna wait and jump them?

Or do you want me to stop them?

We’re all split, right?

You guys are all,

are you guys divided

into different groups?

SAM: No, we’re all together.

You’re on a roof, you’re on a–

No, I’m not on a roof,

I fell off the roof.

I’m on a roof.

MATTHEW: Yeah, Percy’s up on a roof.

I’m letting them know -

I didn’t want to interrupt that

because it was fabulous, but…

I’ve been trying to, like, keep everybody

informed of what I’ve been seeing

and just like, “two splitting off,

they’re heading towards there.”

I’m gonna continue with Grog.

I think we should lie in wait

until they come around

the corner, and then–

(mimics choking sound)

I’ll count them down

when they turn around.

Okay, I’ll wait to shoot an arrow

until they come around the corner.

Okay.

TALIESIN: Two of them?

Two of them, yes.

TALIESIN: Two of them taking a turn–

MATTHEW: I’ve described them, yeah.

I prep a Hold Person spell.

Ready for when they turn the corner.

MATTHEW: All right.

Now!

At this point, you now see the halfling

kind of darts around,

whip out on the side

as the elf turns around the corner,

rapier out with

her hand in front of her.

What are you guys doing?

I wanna grab the elf and slit her throat.

(laughing)

I’m shooting at the halfling.

Two arrows at the halfling.

MATTHEW: Okay.

I go for, you said you

were taking the elf?

LIAM: Yeah.

I’m gonna go for the elf

and cast Hold Person.

Okay.

Uh, we’ll say for the sake of you two,

you both roll initiative.

14.

14.

MATTHEW: Okay.

You go ahead and make your attack first.

Okay.

This is a surprise round.

They don’t expect to see you dart

out of the side of the shadows.

They’re facing downward into the alley.

Okay, uh…

I’m going to use Luck,

my last luck of the day.

Okay.

Oh, this attack, uh, 16.

16, then?

Uh, yeah, that–

No, that’s attack, that’s a 21.

21, thanks.

MATTHEW: Hits either way.

Go for it.

Uh…

I don’t want to be heard!

(laughing)

7, 9, 10, 20, 30, 66.

TRAVIS: Jesus.

You grab her, pull her back, draw

the blade across the throat.

With a slight muffling sound,

she begins to bleed out.

Still fighting and

tensing against your body.

Seeing that, I’ll switch

my spell to the halfling.

(laughing)

Not necessary on the elf anymore.

LIAM: Do I still have

the bonus action left?

MATTHEW: I’d say so.

Yeah, I wanna shove that in her chest.

MATTHEW: Okay.

Oh, Jesus.

Uh, that is 27.

MATTHEW: That hits.

And that is eight.

MATTHEW: Eight damage?

Plus all that poison to it, DC 15.

With a seven, no.

Okay, so she takes…

An additional…

12 points of poison damage.

With that, the blade pulses as

the poison filters into the bloodstream

through the sternum

where the blade pierced.

As you quietly hold her in place,

she goes still and goes,

Yeah, goes limp in your arms.

You, however, at this point, turn

and cast Hold Person on the halfling?

Yeah.

The halfling sees you jump out

and just whisks her out of the alleyway,

turns in that direction, and before

it has a chance to react, as it pulls back

with the whip to go in that direction,

(noise)

it just stays there, frozen in place.

That’s when I release my arrows.

MATTHEW: Go for it.

MARISHA: Go, go.

MATTHEW: You have advantage on these shots

because the entity currently cannot -

Eight, no, 28 for the first hit.

28 for the first hit?

Are you going, like, right up against it,

or is this from a distance?

This is from a distance.

Okay.

So that hits.

Uh, 29 for the second hit.

Both of those hit.

And I want to Hunter’s

Mark, can I Hunter’s Mark?

Too late?

Can I Hunter’s Mark it?

I’ll say sure.

LAURA: All right.

TALIESIN: There was a countdown.

18…

24 for the first hit,

no, 22 for the first hit.

MATTHEW: Okay.

And…

God, I can’t add.

18 for the second hit.

Okay.

So, both, you know, just a beat of impact,

the body tenses in place, and you see

a bit of red begin to drip out

of the corner of the

mouth of the halfling.

However, it’s still kind of

eyes darting around wildly,

trying to figure out

what the hell is happening.

Scanlan, Pike, anything?

Can I run up and grab

the whip out of her hand?

(laughing)

MATTHEW: His?

Yes, you can.

Oh, his hand.

His hand, so sorry.

No, the female has been, by uh…

Hard to see, halfling with that much mud.

You go over and quickly

wedge the whip out of

the halfling’s hand, no issue.

Alright, Scanlan, anything?

That’s all I can do, right?

MATT: It’s pretty quick, it’s pretty easy,

it would be like an action.

What do you want to do?

I’d like to use my mace.

Which I’ll allow because

he’s not defending anything,

it’s just like a bonus action.

I say go for it.

Advantage on the attack.

OK, 16.

16 hits.

LAURA: Nice.

ASHLEY: Alright, alright!

MATT: Because it is a

melee against a currently

paralyzed individual, it is

considered a critical hit.

Nice!

18.

So double the dice.

And then add the bonus on top of it.

23.

23, nice.

So as you pull the whip out with one hand,

you crack the mace right into

the face of the halfling.

To the point where you hit

and you have to kind of like

get the elbow lift to pull it free.

(laughter)

Face is kinda caving a little

bit, Ninja Scroll style.

And he’s kind of like twitching.

Still conscious.

No, that’s awful make it unconscious.

MATT: Not yet.

We have to sit through that.

ASHLEY: Sorry.

Cannot make any of these

saves for the life of itself.

SAM: Can I attack?

You can now, yes.

I will use the Myth Carver.

Oh, wow.

Oh my God.

Has this happened before?

No, we just got this.

I don’t even know what, I

think I’m going to need help.

Okay, let me help you.

This is why we’re here.

Okay, roll an attack.

Okay.

You got this.

I don’t know how to–

Use the die.

Okay, I’m gonna hold the

sword, and I fumble with it,

hold it up again, and then close my eyes

and just kinda go like this.

Okay, so the attack gives you advantage,

but the blindness gives you disadvantage,

so just roll an attack.

Plus, eight.

12, plus eight?

MATT: So you get 20, that hits.

Go ahead and roll damage.

And it’s a critical hit.

One d8, so it’s

two d8 plus three.

TRAVIS: That’s the Myth Carver.

It’s one d8 plus three?

MATT: It’s one d6 sonic

damage, which is also doubled.

Do I roll twice, or do I just–

Not double this.

You roll-

Twice, you roll two d8.

SAM: Double, OK.

Roll once and then, roll d8 and d6,

double that number, add your bonus.

It’s just that easy.

Roll a d8 and a d6.

MATT: The sonic damage.

SAM: That’s a six.

Okay, so that’s nine, I double that, 18.

Plus three.

Plus three is 21.

MATT: Okay, 21 points of damage.

As you fumble the blade and cover your

eyes as you pull back the blade,

the slight humming sound (hums),

the blade actually kind

of vibrates in place

and as you thrust forward,

it goes through like

butter with a heated blade.

You know, you think you missed,

then you open and peek through your eyes

and see that you went

straight though his face.

(laughter)

GROUP: Oh shit.

MATT: Like you hit nothing.

The face, the skull?

SAM: I didn’t mean to, ah, this is…

You pull it out and it’s still kind of

vibrating a little bit, there

is no blood on the blade,

the actual like, the sonic

vibrations of the weapon

managed to shake free any possibility

of any of the gore sticking to the weapon.

Oh, that’s sick.

MARISHA: That’s so bad ass.

LAURA: That’s pretty cool.

At which point the spell fades

as the life force of this

halfling no longer holds sway

and the body just crumples into a pile.

MARISHA: All right, onward with our

murdering spree, let’s go.

Wait, wait, are they going to

know that their two people are gone?

TALIESIN: Eventually.

Eventually.

TALIESIN: What other choices did we have?

LAURA: Can we loot the bodies?

Of course you say that.

Before we move forward.

MATT: You can if you want to.

I’ll check the elf.

MATT: It’ll take a while.

I just want to make sure that there’s

nothing super valuable

just sitting on them.

I’m just gonna, I’m going

to keep talking to them

to make sure they know what’s up,

so just talking in their ear,

they’re still walking, walking.

What’s going on Percy?

27.

27, at a cursory glance, it’ll

take you a couple minutes,

which will put you guys a

little behind Grog’s procession

to do this, but you manage

to find, on the two bodies,

about 125 gold pieces, 2 relatively dirty

sets of leather armor, one’s

more of a hide actually,

for the woman who had the

rapier, it’s hide armor.

And that’s it.

LAURA: All right.

How about on the thing I killed, anything?

LAURA: You have a whip.

Oh, they did both?

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: Can I keep the whip?

If you want to.

Okay, you take the whip

and wrap it up real fast

and kind of just attach

it inside of your belt.

SAM: Kinky.

Can I have everyone make

another stealth check?

22.

30.

34.

No, Pass Without a Trace is gone,

you used Hunter’s Mark.

MARISHA: Oh, then 24.

TALIESIN: 24.

Then 12.

LIAM: Oh it just burned you.

LAURA: Oh, it did, it burned.

LIAM: 29.

21.

11.

Because the extra 10’s gone.

LAURA: I’m sorry!

No, it’s all right.

All right, you guys move

on a little bit further

towards a T portion of the street,

where you can now see

there’s a cart in the center.

And what looks to be a

number of other Goliaths

are currently pulling two

individuals out of their homes

and kind of starting to

drag them back towards the

top of the T intersection where

you guys are passing from.

As you get to that point,

there’s a little bit of

noise coming that way.

You hear another clank and a shh

from behind you in an

alley just around the way

and the elf behind you

has been walking quietly,

stops and goes, “All rright,

something not right

"is going on at this moment.”

He turns around, “You hold here Goliath.”

No, I don’t think I will.

But I tell you what, you make the choice.

Walk me to Kevdak or go check

out your little spook fest.

He looks over to the other companion,

“Go ahead and gather those men,

"have them follow you into the alley.”

Then the other individual

walks towards the alley

and starts talking to the other goliaths,

they go ahead and take some of the people

that they’re holding by the arms,

lift them up over their shoulder,

and you now have roughly six individuals,

four of which are goliath,

now joining up for a total of seven,

and they’re all heading back

towards the ally way,

TALIESIN: Hostages heading

towards you just run, just run and hide.

MATT: Where the noise came from.

As the elf who continues to

walk forward with you is back.

TALIESIN: Just run and hide.

SAM: Do we run?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we disappear.

We disappear.

We hide.

Okay.

You guys begin to vanish,

make one more stealth check

to see if you leave any tracks behind

or any followable trace.

TALIESIN: I’m not with them.

ASHLEY: Do we still have Pass Without a -

LAURA: No, I’m sorry.

Because I’m an asshole.

MATT: You good?

Hmm?

(laughter)

I got a two.

Oh no!

(laughter)

SAM: She’s the worst!

I hate my armor! And I love it in battle.

There’s a set you never

quite picked up from Gilmore.

ASHLEY: Fuck.

You had commissioned an

armor that would be silent,

but it never got picked up.

Oh shit.

What?

Ages ago, yeah we commissioned.

Yeah, I was wondering

what happened to that.

I thought we had it already.

LIAM: It’s buried in rubble now.

No, maybe he…

ASHLEY: I totally forgot about that.

Maybe when he was dying

he took it with him.

(laughter)

He’s got it all under his arm.

TALIESIN: Maybe he has a magic

vault, it might be fun.

That’s true, he might have a magic vault.

I don’t know if that’s a real thing…

LAURA: He probably has a magic vault.

ASHLEY: I do not remember that at all.

TALIESIN: I just don’t

remember that either, so.

LAURA: Dammit.

The thought hits you immediately,

the memory of like, oh that’s right!

As you tumble through

a sequence of small boxes,

your distraction caught you off guard,

and you weren’t paying attention

where you were walking,

briefly before you just fall face first

into kind of a mushy mud puddle.

And kind of stand up and look.

TALIESIN: Scanlan, you want

to do anything about this?

Of course I do.

I’m going to run up to her

and just hold her by the hand.

Do they see us at this point?

They are right around the corner,

you see shadows beginning

to approach across the road.

Scanlan, the mansion, open

the mansion in a store.

He can do whatever he wants,

don’t tell him what to do.

Are they going to see us

if they round the corner?

Yes.

I hold her by both hands

and I Dimension Door us to the rooftop.

MATT: You’ve used dimension

door twice now today.

That’s the third.

MATT: That’s your third and

final fourth level spell?

Yes, correct.

All righty.

LIAM: Open the door, do the

top one, do the bottom lock.

LAURA: Shh.

TALIESIN: Ix-nay on the argue-jay!

MATT: As you guys are bickering…

LAURA: No!

(laughter)

Around the corner, the group

steps into the alleyway

as this little poof of

purple energy and smoke

quickly dissipates and they

all spin looking to the way,

they glance about, step

in to begin to inspect.

Spend a few moments, one

of them goes up to where

the barrels had fallen

over, just kind of pokes,

looks into the mud, can see

some depressions in the mud.

“There’s something following us, come on.”

And they all begin to swarm into

the alleyway, all seven of them.

You guys, are you going,

are you backing up further

into the alley, are you

trying, what are you doing?

LAURA: I’m gonna…

I’m going to try to parkour

up to the ceiling again,

up to the rooftops.

Acrobatics?

I’m just going to go backwards.

MATT: Go backwards?

Away from them.

MATT: Okay, so heading

backwards into the alley.

Can I see this happening?

No, you two are just on the roof,

and you’re kind of like

“Okay.”

You can glance over

and look on the side, if you want to,

but this’ll be the next

thing you see after they disperse.

I’m just splitting my attention,

trying to figure out what to deal with.

I go air elemental form.

And into a doorway, into a crack.

Okay. So elemental form,

you’re now kind of this

little cluster of wind,

just underneath the doorway.

As they all step in and look about–

LAURA: I 34'ed up to the–

MATT: 34'ed up?

All right, and you backed around the way.

They step in and begin to

kind of split up a little bit.

You come back around,

and you can head back to the thoroughfare,

and continue to follow or

find them up on the roof.

What are you going to do?

I’m going to follow, so I can

try to see Grog, but stay hidden.

So you’re going to head back onto the road

and duck between

alleyways on your own?

Okay, so you can do that

way, kind of essentially,

tracking back around as they entered,

and pass them as they’re

spreading out into the alleyways.

Most of you guys are up on the roof now.

And Keyleth, you just kind of

watch them as they move past

and eventually just

kind of (imitates wind),

behind them.

Where do you want to go?

What?

MATT: What do you want to do?

MARISHA: Hiding.

(laughter)

They move past and all of you companions

are currently gone,

you’re by yourself hiding

this big underneath a doorway

in your elemental form,

what do you want to do?

They’re gone though?

MATT: They’ve moved past you,

yeah, they did not notice.

SAM: They’ve moved on Keyleth.

Then I try and find them,

still in my form, but misting about.

Okay, so (imitates wind),

this little burst of wind

that comes up to the rooftop,

and as you get up there, you

can see a couple roofs over,

a couple of dots, the

rest of your companions

that are slowing making

their way along the road.

MARISHA: Okay, I follow them.

Okay, you guys make your way.

TRAVIS: You lot are so funny. You

know, I think I saw something

running behind that pile

of horse shit over there,

if you want to check it out, too.

(laughter)

Silence, no response.

MARISHA: Since I’m

already elemental form,

I’m going to go ahead

and start parting off

from the rest of the crowd,

I’m going to flake

around to the other side,

I’m going to start flanking.

Okay, so you’ve got to the other side now.

The bells have now fully subsided,

all the various warning bells

that would go off every few minutes,

just kind of keeping the

state of awareness going,

have begun to just dissipate and stop.

The elf behind you is kind

of glancing back and forth

over his shoulder, but still

keeps a blade forward.

You go past that T

intersection, continuing onward

into the open central square

on the north portion of the road.

There’s the main central road

that you guys have been walking

and it opens up into

brick and cobblestone,

upward with a slight square

road interfacing the center.

A series of shops and

tents and on the left side,

you recall is where Noja’s shop once was,

Abjurist Noja who had saved

you at the First Winter’s Veil.

Not that you guys see this at the moment,

but you see this

glancing off to the side.

The door’s kind of half open,

it looks like a window’s broken,

and the inside has probably

been ransacked as well.

And as you step in you can see that there

are a number of tents

that are half fallen over,

carts that are tipped over

with fruit and vegetables

that have scattered across the floor

and they’ve just been left there to rot.

There are barrels containing,

looks like rain water

that has gathered over time

and section after section

of these wedged barricades

of pieces of wood that

have been jammed into piles

with giant spikes and pole arms

that have been jammed in

there as a defensive place

and just to be an ominous position

for anyone who attempts to

walk into this vicinity.

And you see, about every

five or six of these,

there is a head adorning it,

that has been just kind of

wedge on, pushed as a warning.

TRAVIS: Recognize any of those heads?

MATT: Make a perception check.

LAURA: Oh God.

LIAM: I don’t want to know the answer.

SAM: Well, I recognized a couple earlier.

MARISHA: Yeah, you did, I

don’t think you’ve told us yet.

Seven.

Yeah, you glance around a little bit,

nothing catches your eye,

you’re too focused on the goal

at hand as you step

through each barricade.

As you go through the first set,

already you can see

the cluster of goliaths

and as well as individuals

that step forward

and are like, “Hey, who

are you bringing here?”

And the elf behind you says,

“Apparently a blood relative of Kevdak’s.”

“Is this true?”

And a few of the Goliaths

step forward and say,

“Oh, I doubt that.”

And the one on the other side says,

“Blood relative, the

only one is up inside.”

He steps forward

and you see the next Goliath

that you recognize, this

is one of the older seers,

who has one eye that is

completely clouded over white

and is this kind of

swollen, puss filled socket,

that has been kind of

perpetually infected over time.

LAURA: Ew.

He steps forward with this kind of…

Thick kind of a, almost

like a moss-like crust,

that just kind of has

gathered under his neck

and he’s called Greenbeard because of this

weird, whatever

infection or ailment he had

caused this kind of moss-type material,

to grow across

his neck and chest area.

And he kind of comes forward,

using his walking stick,

this kind of gnarled

branch that he uses and,

“Is it really you, Strongjaw?”

I see your eye still serves you well.

“You know when Zanror told

us that he came across you

up north, we beat the shit

out of him for being a liar.”

You should have beat the shit out of him

for being a coward.

He begged me to let him go.

“Really?”

“Well, seems we know at least who’s

caused all the commotion recently.”

“Dead man walking through town by himself

into the belly of the beast.”

“So, men,

take his head.”

He steps back as about

seven other Goliaths

from up behind and two

longbow individuals in the far end

go ahead and draw arrows and

begin to notch them back.

I take a beat.

TRAVIS: Well, it would be such a shame.

It seems all of you would be missing out

on the greatest show of your life.

You see, in this bag,

I carry the very thing

that will topple the mighty Kevdak.

You know what I remember?

I remember a herd that

nations used to part for,

I remember a herd that towns

used to quake and run from,

I remember a herd that

was so proud and dangerous,

they would never hole up in

a shit-stick city like this.

But what do I see when I come here?

Kevdak prancing up in a place like this

and what, bending the knee to a dragon?

How far you have fallen.

Now, if you have any honor in you at all,

you’ll take me to Kevdak

and you will see what

I have for him.

And then maybe,

just maybe, you can call

yourselves warriors again

instead of piss pot squatters.

There’s a moment of

pause, as all the Goliaths

who are approaching

have stopped in their tracks.

You can see their neck muscles tensing

as they’re kind of ringing their fingers

across the handles of

their various weapons.

At this point, Greenbeard

takes a moment and

(laughs evilly)

“You sound like your cousin, Zanror.”

“The two of you enjoy a

night drinkin’ in the hole.

"But sure, you want to go

ahead and talk to the big man.”

“Let’s see you say that to

his face before he crushes it.”

“Call him out.

Thunder Lord, you’ve a visitor!”

MARISHA: “Thunder Lord”?

At which point all the Goliaths step back,

and some of them turn their

blades or weapons around and -

start slamming them on

the ground in a rhythmic tone.

(group groans)

Over and over again, and some of them

start going into slow

chants (imitates chanting).

And as this happens louder and louder,

the clattering echos through

the center of this market

place, this now desolate space.

Some of them that were clutching people

just kind of throw them to the side

and some of the peasants

begin like scramble up

against a wall, not knowing where to go.

Or seemingly knowing that

if they were to try to flee,

it would be the very

end of their existence

and are just frozen in fear.

As this is happening, you

see at the Margrave’s home,

the multi-tiered homestead,

this beautiful mansion,

which is now smeared with gore,

this dried dark brown and brittle,

the flickering glow of interior

candlelight catches your attention,

until across the top

floor, you see a balcony

that looks over the

entirety of this open area.

And there the dark form

of Kevdak steps out,

a towering Goliath in his own right.

As he comes forward, puts

his hands on the railing,

the rhythmic slamming of

the weapons growing loud,

like this cacophonous rhythm.

His fingers slowly tense, and the wood

splinters in his grasp as

you can see before you,

indeed the Titanstone

Gauntlets themselves

almost cartoonish in size,

even against his large frame.

He looks down with his gleaming red eyes,

smooth bald head, no tattoo adorning it,

but most of his

entire body nearly black

with scrawlings of ink for

every single life he’s taken

as he’s led this herd.

He looks down.

(laughter)

Into the center of this area, down to you,

with a joyous smile, almost and says,

“Grog Strongjaw.”

“I would have never expected this,

not in a very, very long time.”

“I’ve got to say, I’ve got

to give credit to my boy

for not being quite the fable

maker that I thought he was,

trying to appease me with the ideas of

finishing a threat that

was apparently left hanging.”

“So, you come here, cast

away of the Herd of Storms.”

“You have my attention.

Now what words do you

bring my ears, before I tear

them from your skull, boy?”

Hello, uncle.

The piece of shit you wiped

off your boot has come home.

When last we saw each other,

you saw it fitting to

beat down a mere child.

I remember another child

that got a beating.

Seems like he came from your nut sack.

(laughter)

And my, what an easy task that was.

“Sometimes the easiest

are the most enjoyable.”

“If you let them string

out for a long, long time.”

Well, a regular chip off the old block.

If he’s anything like his father, that is.

So I’ll tell you why I’ve come back.

“Please, do.”

See, I’ve grown, I’ve learned,

I’ve also watched as dragons

took the mighty Kevdak,

wielder of the Titanstone Knuckles,

and made him bend the knee.

I was wondering, do you also

squat when you piss now?

(laughter)

There are a few chuckles,

they’re immediately

silenced at the realization.

Kevdak, seemingly un-flinched by this,

he puts one hand on the

railing and leaps over it,

(imitates booming)

landing on the stone

platform that makes the roof

of the initial walkway

and foyer of this mansion.

He steps out to the edge

of it and crosses his arms,

and goes, “See, that’s your folly Grog,

as it was your father’s.

You’re shortsighted.”

“Survival isn’t just

chewing meat you find

and killing what gets in your way.”

“If you pick a fight that you can’t win,

history won’t remember a

blood smear on anyone’s boot.”

“The dragon was a stage.”

“I’ve not bent the knee

like you think I have,

I’ve merely let it

co-exist for the time being.”

“But let’s just say that

dragon’s days are numbered.”

“But it’s a shame that you

won’t be around to see.”

Oh, fancy words for what

I hear as surrender.

But that’s all right, I’ve always believed

the world is what we make of it,

and you’ve shown me exactly who you are.

You’ve shown this herd exactly who you are

and what they can expect:

to live a nice domesticated life,

where the booty runs dry,

where the women are scarce,

where I’m sure there are

plans this very minute

to unseat you from your high horse.

But I’ve come to do them a favor,

they’re not going to get that chance.

You and me.

I challenge you to single combat

for the pride of this herd.

(applause)

At this moment, there is a long silence,

as just a breeze kind of (imitates wind)

finds it’s way through

the center of this town.

Kevdak waits, motionless,

at the top of the mansion precipice.

Everyone else looks up to him, from you,

their faces aghast at what just transpired

and staring up to him atop the mansion.

He looks down, one side of his mouth

curls into a wicked smirk.

He puts his hand up like this,

and you see as the rows of archers

that were along the roof

tops of nearby buildings,

lessen their grip on the

bow and put the arrows away.

He crosses his arms again.

“We reserve the right of single combat

to members of the Herd of Storms.”

“You haven’t been a number

within our midst for years,

since you decided to lie

there and bleed like a goat.”

“But, I can’t say I’m

not amused by your gall.”

“So, for the purposes of this bout,

let it be known that Grog Strongjaw

is a temporary member of the herd.”

“But the moment his lifeless

corpse hits the stone,

"he will be stripped of any

honor and fed to the wolves.”

(growls)

And he leaps off and lands cracking

the stone beneath his feet.

As he stands again, “Assemble the ring!”

And you watch as all of the goliaths

start grabbing and moving the barricades,

scooting them into a circular pattern

around the center of this area.

Go ahead and fetch the

town square if you could.

LAURA: Oh jeez.

GROUP: Fetch the town

square, if you please.

(laughter)

Oh my God.

Oh, look.

TALIESIN: You really did it, you son of a bitch.

You weren’t kidding.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Three days ago,

we had dinner and he left the sushi bar

with a big handful of toothpicks going,

“I have plans for these.”

(laughter)

LAURA: That’s hilarious.

MARISHA: That’s true. I was like,

did you steal toothpicks?

He did.

MATT: All righty, so…

LAURA and SAM: Oh my God.

It’s beautiful and it’s

all made out of cake.

(laughter)

LIAM: I can’t believe

I ate the whole thing.

Fuck that house, look at that house.

LAURA: The spikes are facing inward?

MATT: Yes, they are.

LIAM: Oh, it’s so tight.

LIAM and LAURA: Tight, tight, tight, tight, tight, tight.

Are we around, can we see any of this?

MATT: You guys are watching this happen.

MARISHA: Yeah, where are we?

We’re flanking, slowly but surely.

LAURA: Stealthily.

TALIESIN: I’m finding perch on a rooftop,

so that I can deal with this shit.

MARISHA: I’m a puff of clouds.

SAM: I’m holding Pike’s hand.

(laughter)

SAM: For comfort, my comfort.

LAURA: I’m feel guilty for

getting in a fight with my

brother, right before I

got up on the rooftop.

TALIESIN: This is a great idea.

SAM: This is the part

where Matt plays dolls.

MATT: Yep, pretty much.

(laughter)

All right, so where are you guys right now?

You’re watching this happen from a

distant rooftop, right at the edge.

TALIESIN: Is it possible to move the

camera to get the house?

I was flanking.

MATT: Right, so you are

currently in elemental form.

Kind I kind of attempt to

actually get on the roof?

MATT: On the roof…

MARISHA: Can I get on this balcony area?

MATT: Over there?

If you want to, it’s going to be…

MARISHA: In mist form?

MATT: This isn’t a mist form,

this is your air elemental form.

Or yeah, air elemental form.

But I can move through things.

MATT: You can, so you can…

Super, super, super thin.

MATT: Right, so you want

to just glide into like,

part of the stonework over here, or…

MARISHA: Right, yeah.

All righty.

So at this time, as everyone assembles

all the spikes inward

in a circle position,

and you stand in place, Kevdak walks into

the center of the ring,

he takes the gauntlets,

puts a hand out, and one

of the Goliaths comes up

and takes a weapon that you

haven’t seen in a while,

this dark red rust-colored ax

is placed into his one hand,

as the gauntlet grips around it,

taking the Blood Ax in his hand,

he closes his other fist

and slams them together

and as he slams them together

with a sound of metal,

his form warps and grows.

And what was once already Kevdak,

who held a good four to

five inches on your height,

swells to about 12 feet tall.

MARISHA: Excuse me?

Oh shit.

SAM: Wait, Kevdak just grew?

Yes.

LAURA: Kevdak just grew.

SAM: Oh my God.

MARISHA: Holy shit.

TALIESIN: Ashley or Pike?

MATT: So, whereabouts are

you guys at this moment?

Just give me some inclination.

Keyleth is over there,

keeping relatively hidden,

as an air elemental, I need

you to make a stealth check

as part of that, see if you’re noticed.

Natural 20.

GROUP: Yes!

MATT: That I like.

Figure out where you’re hiding.

Are we coming from behind

there or from this side?

MATT: This, you guys would be coming

from this direction here.

TALIESIN: I’ll take the 3 o'clock,

if the house is 12,

I’ll take the 3 o'clock.

MATT: So you’ll be kind of up in this–

Over there.

MATT: Over here?

Okay, so we’ll say Percy

is up on the roof area.

TALIESIN: 6 o'clock,

9 o'clock, 12 o'clock.

Okay, I need you to go ahead and

roll stealth check as well,

as you move up there,

make sure you’re not seen.

Where are the rest of you?

TALIESIN: Natural 20.

(cheering)

LAURA: Is there a roof in this area?

MATT: There is.

I’m going to put this

off to the side there,

if you’d like to maneuver

in this area as well.

For those who want to be on this side.

Who wants to be up there with Vex?

ASHLEY: Should we dimension door up there?

SAM: Well, we’ve been…

You guys have been following

to get to this area.

SAM: We’ve been following wherever.

You guys want to be up there with Vex?

SAM: We probably went up

with Vex, probably, yeah.

We don’t know what we’re doing.

Okay. Vax, where are you?

LIAM: I guess I’m maybe off by that

fountain in the corner of your map.

Over there?

This is an open area over here.

LIAM: That’s all open?

This is all open, this is the

center of the town square.

LIAM: Then I would be at the bottom

of the building that Vex is in.

Okay, so you’re kind of close down,

like kind of looking through the window

out into the main thoroughfare.

Okay, good to know.

So, Grog. With this,

I want you to roll initiative.

MARISHA: Oh my God.

LAURA: Can I take Trinket out of the -

If you’d like to, yeah, do you want to?

Your call.

SAM: Trinket’s going to make some noise.

Initiative?

TRAVIS: 17.

17.

(dramatic music)

As you guys begin this fray…

No Trinket, yes Trinket,

what are you doing?

Trinket is staying in.

MATT: All right.

You, as Kevdak takes on a large form,

the blood ax swelling with his size,

gets into a combat position and he says,

“Show me what you’ve learned, Strongjaw.”

You’re going first, you

beat him on initiative.

Go for it.

LAURA: Jesus.

I would like to rage the

rage of my rage-y life.

(laughter)

And I would like to use

intimidating presence on Kevdak.

Okay.

SAM: That’s a risk.

(laughter)

MATT: All right, so that’s your action on that.

So what’s the DC on that one?

TRAVIS: 18.

MATT: And what’s the save?

TRAVIS: Oh,

17 is the wisdom saving throw.

For that one, do you

remember if that one is a–

TRAVIS: It says within 30 feet frighten

until end of next turn,

wisdom saving throw.

MATT: Yeah, okay. So as you glare, how

do you go about this glare,

what do you do to intimidate him?

I go into a rage.

And with my flaming war

hammer, I grab the end of the

hammer and let it cook

my flesh for a minute

and then I smack myself on the chest

and rip out the biggest bellow I have.

As you do, Kevdak goes

to take a step forward,

takes the single step, hesitates,

seems to just hold his ground.

Eyeing you down and seemingly

not expecting this ferocity.

All righty, that’s your

action and your bonus.

Are you going to move,

or are you going to stay where you are?

There are no openings in the ring, right?

MATT: Nope.

SAM: You had inspiration, by the way,

would that have helped at all?

There are side openings, like areas here,

where you could step out,

but you get the sense that,

as people are gathering around,

they would be plugging

elements of this exit,

to prevent you from…

closing the gap.

With my bonus action I yell “Coward!”

And that’s it.

MATT: Okay. Technically the

rage is the bonus action,

but you can shout that for free.

Yeah, that’s fine.

All right, so for Kevdak’s turn,

Kevdak kind of realizing that he can’t,

he’s not able to really

move closer at this moment,

kind of steps to the side here,

guarding, kind of waiting…

LIAM: His version of

fear was not digging in.

MATT: Yeah, he’s going to go ahead

and take a bonus action

to go into his own rage.

I just had to try and make

it work at least once.

SAM: It worked.

TRAVIS: And it did.

Hey man, at least I can say

I didn’t die without it working once.

LAURA: Don’t say that!

ASHLEY: You’re not going to die, Grog.

So Kevdak goes into his own rage,

as Kevdak goes into a rage, screaming out.

(growls)

The ground shakes and little stones and rocks

scatter across the stonework

from the vibration of it.

And you see some of those tattoos,

the black ink that goes across his chest,

you see what looks like a bear

that is hidden within the tattoo,

that flares up with a flash of

dark, deep red crimson energy

and then fades back into the chest.

LAURA: What?

TALIESIN: 1984 with it.

MATT: You’re up Grog.

Raging.

I’ll go into a frenzied rage

and I charge headlong

into Kevdak with my firebrand war hammer.

MATT: All right.

Actually, he backed up

against the ring, right?

(group excitedly exclaims)

MATT: He’s backed up against the edge

of one of the openings, but

if you want to go from here…

But there’s large

point-ies behind him right?

MATT: At one angle, yeah.

I’d like to drive my head

right into his chest.

Can I move into him hard,

see if I can push him back

against one of the spikes?

I’ll say sure.

I still have, if I’m frenzy-ing,

would I still have two attacks after that?

That would be your action, to do that,

so you would have your bonus

action of you wanted to.

I’ll just run up to him

and hit him three times.

Okay, go for it.

Yeah, the first two are just normal.

I’ll just roll these first.

27.

That hits.

24.

Hits.

16.

Misses.

ASHLEY: War God’s blessing?

MATT: What’s the range on that?

LAURA: Oh and you have inspiration, that’s right.

TALIESIN: Yeah, but this may not

be the moment though.

SAM: I’ve got more.

TALIESIN: It’s early.

ASHLEY: Where the fuck is my thing?

Oh, it’s right in front of me.

Unfortunately inspiration

fades in ten minutes.

ASHLEY: 30 feet, so…

30 feet, yeah, that’s too far away

for War God’s Blessing.

So the first two strikes, go

ahead and roll for damage.

TRAVIS: Okay.

They do hit.

Where the fuck is it?

Oh, there it is.

10, 15, 23, 23, oh 23 plus…

Five, so 28 with the fire

damage on the first one.

And the second one…

17.

17, okay.

As you slam, whack, whack,

with the flaming war hammer,

twice into the oversize Kevdak’s chest,

each hit hits, but Kevdak is

just barely pushed back by each

and the damage, even the fire

damage, seems to be taken

down by his raging capabilities.

The impacts aren’t doing as much damage

as you hoped they would.

SAM: Dammit.

MATT: But I believe that ends

your turn, unless you want to move?

Nope, no moving.

MATT: All right. Kevdak’s turn.

Kevdak’s going to go ahead

and strafe around this way.

And his going to go ahead

and reckless attack on you,

so that’s an advantage on each strike.

Is going to take both of

these as weapon master.

That is a 28 to hit, sorry minus five, 23.

TRAVIS: Hits.

Second one.

28 to hit again, with the minus five.

TRAVIS: Misses, I mean hits, sorry.

All right, let’s see…

Less than that…

As both of the ax swings come through you,

you suffer a total of 54

points of slashing damage.

TRAVIS: Reduced?

Reduced by half, so that brings it to 27.

Plus an additional ten

points of necrotic damage

that you do not reduce.

LAURA: While all the attention

is focused on them,

can I stealth down to

the ground for a second?

MATT: Make a stealth check.

How are you getting down?

Are you climbing down via acrobatics?

So make a stealth and acrobatics check.

29 for stealth.

And 25 for acrobatics.

Okay. You manage to make it to the ground.

Kind of jumping off the

side, parkouring down,

grabbing the next ledge, leaping down.

That’s your turn.

Okay, anybody else doing anything?

Until we come back in the next round?

SAM: I mean…

MARISHA: Do we do anything right now?

Not until he says so.

LAURA: I just want to duck, can I just

duck in the building at least?

Is that part of the stealth?

MATT: Sure, you come to the door

and the door itself is not locked,

you kind of just push

on the side of the door.

Everyone’s attention is

so focused on the center.

All right. So that brings it

to the top of the round,

Grog, you’re up.

Feeling the impact of those hits,

and remembering our first encounter,

I drop the firebrand war hammer,

I rush Kevdak, and I want to

try and rip away the blood ax.

MARISHA: Oh.

MATT: Okay.

You rush up and drop the hammer.

Grab and you’re face to face,

it’s right at your feet,

you reach up and grab,

with your fingers just

barely wrapped around this

ax’s shaft right now, at

the size that it’s swollen,

and you pull against him,

I want you to go ahead

and make a strength check.

TRAVIS: Which I get advantage on.

MATT: Yeah, versus his strength,

which he gets advantage on.

17.

Natural 20.

LAURA: Oh, come on!

As you pull, Kevdak actually

lifts you up off the ground,

holding the ax up to

his face and just goes,

“Like father, like son.”

And shakes you off, well

doesn’t even shake you off,

just butts you off of the ax

and you skid to the ground.

Take one point of bludgeoning

damage, no big deal.

Land on the ground, you don’t fall prone,

but you’re there and can probably grab

your war hammer and pick

it back up if you want to.

TRAVIS: Yep, I’ll do that.

TALIESIN: Oh my God, oh my God.

That ends your turn.

Now Kevdak, who’s kind

of laughing to himself.

(laughs evilly)

MARISHA: Oh, he’s consulting the book.

TALIESIN: I hate when he does that.

Why, what could that possibly mean?

LIAM: He’s probably looking

up the price of a mace.

MARISHA: Totally.

What’s an adventurer’s kit run for?

SAM: Who did this illustration again?

Oh yeah, I remember.

MATT: Why don’t you make an athletics check.

TALIESIN: Does he get advantage on that?

MATT: Yes, you do, because of the rage.

19.

19, well, 22.

He puts the ax to one hand,

reaches down with his large mitt,

grabs you and lifts you up

and pushes you onto one

of the spears behind you.

You can feel it actually pierce

out the front of your chest.

(group groans)

About six inches.

Your feet are still on the ground,

and you can feel yourself there,

but there is an element

of being pinned there.

You take 12 points of piercing

damage, reduced to six.

This is nothing to a barbarian,

simple piercing, whatever.

However you are technically considered,

this would be grappled,

you’re unable to move

until you manage to break this.

You can still attack from this

position if you wanted to,

but you have to be able to try

and spend an action to get free.

So that’s going to be the one attack,

and then as your pinned, he’s going to

come up with the blood ax and swing down.

That’s going to be a 23 against you.

Blood ax comes down and slams right

into the front of your

chest, the sternum area,

even with the weight of it,

you bring your hands up

and grab the edge of it

and manage to stop some of the force,

but it still digs into

the front of your chest.

You take 19 points of

slashing damage, reduced to 9.

I release Trinket inside

the house that I’m in.

MATT: Plus an additional six necrotic

that does not get reduced.

So 9 and then six, so 15.

MATT: What are you doing?

I release Trinket,

quietly, inside the house.

And tell him to keep quiet.

Don’t follow me.

Okay. Anyone else do anything else?

TALIESIN: No, I’m just trying to–

I’m trying to keep us aware

of everything as possible.

Pike an I are going to just inch forward

on the rooftop, to get

just a little closer.

Yeah, can I do the same

in my elemental form?

Like, can I just mist kind of down around

kind of right behind this asshole?

What’s up, I’m a spooky mist.

ASHLEY: Would it take some time

to get like behind that fountain?

LIAM: That’s in the open,

I asked about that first.

TALIESIN: This is one quarter of the square.

All right. Grog, it’s your turn.

You said I can attack from having

a pole shoved through my shoulder?

MATT: Yeah.

Would that be at disadvantage?

MATT: No, not at this distance.

You just, you’re grappled,

so you can’t move.

You’re essentially stuck

there until you use an action

to get off of it, otherwise

you can’t go anywhere.

Yeah, I got to get off of it.

I’m going to get off of it.

MATT: Okay, so using an

action to break free.

Yeah.

MATT: Make an athletics check,

with advantage because you’re raging.

23.

MATT: 23?

There’s not a lot of

ground to pull yourself

off of the weight, so instead,

with your feet on the ground,

you reach forward and grab the front

of his blood ax again and pull forward.

And as you do, you feel the

back of this wooden spear,

snap off and it’s still

just embedded in your chest,

poking out the front,

but you are now free,

you still have your bonus action.

I would like to use great weapon master

and I have advantage on this

because he used reckless.

MATT: Yep.

And I’ll use his inspiration.

LAURA: If you need it.

MATT: It faded, it only

lasts for ten minutes.

23.

MATT: That hits, go ahead and roll damage.

19.

No, 29. Sorry.

29 with the plus ten, right?

Okay, that brings it to 14 damage,

reduced by his rage effect as well.

As the hammer slams once

again into his abdomen,

you can see it leaving a char mark

and actually kind of

obscuring one of the tattoos.

“Stupid boy.”

You can move around him if you wanted to,

you still have a movement.

Yeah, I’ll move, I would

like to move to his flank,

away from the nearest pointy thing.

MATT: Okay, so you shift around that way?

Okay, with his turn now, he

spins around to face you.

He’s going to go ahead and

attempt his first attack on you,

as a disarming attack.

With advantage on that because,

just going with this attack every round.

That’s going to be a 30.

TRAVIS: Yeah, that’ll hit.

(laughter)

Okay. Not Great Weapon Master.

But it’s 30, so it’s

going to do an additional

superiority die of damage on top of this.

TALIESIN: Oh my god.

So you take, all right.

17 points of slashing damage.

TRAVIS: Nine?

Eight plus two necrotic, so 10 total.

And I need you to go ahead and

make a strength saving throw.

TALIESIN: Oh no, no advantage.

MATT: With rage is it strength

ability checks and saving throws?

Advantage on strength check

and strength saving throws.

MATT: So yeah, so advantage on this.

13.

MATT: 13.

No, no, no 16.

MATT: 16, okay.

So as he slams into your side,

you pull up your flaming war

hammer to guard the blow,

it takes some of it, but then

he hooks the bottom of the ax

underneath the head and actually

flings it out of your hand

and you lose the grip on the war hammer,

which then clatters to

the ground at your feet.

He’s then going to turn around.

And going to go ahead

and do a pushing attack.

With the superiority die.

That is going to be, this is going to be,

with Great Weapon Master,

that brings it to a 21.

TRAVIS: That’s my AC.

MATT: All righty. So you take

from the actual blow,

21 points of slashing

damage, reduced to ten.

And five necrotic.

I’m going to use my Stone’s Endurance.

MATT: Go for it.

LAURA: What’s Stone’s Endurance?

It’s just a d12, which is a 12,

plus my constitution, so that’s 17.

So as the blow comes, you just take it

right to the center of the chest.

As it hits, it barely cuts in before you

go ahead and grab and

deflect it with your hand,

doing no damage to you whatsoever.

However the impact of it though–

make a strength saving

throw with advantage again.

18.

18, however the sheer force

of trying to deflect it,

does push you back 15 feet,

right on the edge there,

we’ll say you’re right there, that’s fine.

And you stop right at the edge of another,

edge of the spikes and

there are two goliaths

that are there with their weapons out,

just forcing you back into the ring,

if you decide to back up any further.

And with that, Kevdak’s going

to go ahead and move forward

and push you into that corner.

That’s going to end his turn.

You’re up.

I’m going to look at Kevdak

and drop my arms to my side.

MATT: It’s already on your side actually.

He disarmed you.

No, not my arms.

MATT: Oh, your arms, okay.

Straight down.

And I’m going to say,

“Clearly I’ve been a fool.”

“You are truly a foe to be reckoned with.”

And I will slowly drop to my knees.

SAM: (gasps)

(quietly) No, no Grog.

And I will shout out:

“Vox Machina!”

“Fuck shit up!”

(cheering)

And we’re going to go ahead

and end it there this week.

(loud exclamations)

It’s 11 o'clock guys.

Oh, all right.

(groaning)

It’s 11 o'clock.

MARISHA: And we started late.

I know, I know.

MARISHA: Curse you technical difficulties.

(laughter)

Wow.

We need to remember

where we are, you guys.

TALIESIN: We’ll take a photograph,

that’s what iPhones are for.

MATT: No, we’re taking photos.

MARISHA: I don’t think I can forget.

MATT: I’m leaving this here for next week.

So we can have this up and

ready for us to jump back in.

LAURA: Oh my God-duh!

MARISHA: Fuck shit up!

LIAM: That’s so unsatisfying!

(groaning)

ASHLEY: I want to go right now.

MATT: If you guys want to keep going,

we can go to midnight on, it’s up to you.

But it’s a Thursday night.

ASHLEY: I know.

LAURA: Let’s wait, let’s wait.

What’s the general consensus say?

I have to shoot tomorrow.

The general consensus is it’s 11 PM

and we’re keeping the crew here as well.

SAM: Let’s call it.

And we had a very long Critmas

and everything the week before,

so let’s go ahead and

we’ll call it tonight.

We’ll pick up right at this

ridiculous moment next week.

TALIESIN: Tune in next week.

MARISHA: It’s like the battle of blue balls.

TALIESIN: Goliath balls are blue.

Goliath balls are so blue.

LAURA: Dude.

TRAVIS: I was not expecting that.

He was so much more powerful than what…

Yeah, I was not expecting that.

MARISHA: He’s so big.

SAM: I think you can take him.

We’ll figure it out.

TRAVIS: I think it’s going well.

I think we’ve got him

right where I want him.

MARISHA: Just five more

minutes, five more minutes.

MATT: Yeah, that’s rough.

Where are you at hit points wise?

133.

SAM: You’re fine,

you could go for another six rounds!

MARISHA: You’re at 133 out of your total?

201.

(groaning)

He’s fine, he’s fine.

I’m doing nothing to him.

TALIESIN: That’s true,

you haven’t done a thing.

Has he done any damage to him at all?

SAM: Yeah, a little.

Yeah, Grog’s done 34 points of damage.

Wow, out of like 500 hit points probably.

There’s different paths to a barbarian,

there’s the frenzy path,

which is all about damage,

there’s the totem path,

which totem of the bear means

your half damage for everything

except psychic damage.

Grog, quick, be psychic.

(laughter)

Good luck with that guys.

But yeah, this is where

that totem really shines.

LIAM: If I steal your Kevdak mini,

he can’t be killed.

SAM: That’s true.

MATT: I’ve got four.

(laughter)

Not really.

Where does the other totem shine?

In damage dealing, probably?

Frenzy’s all about damage and

that’s what Grog’s playing.

Anyway guys, we’ll pick this up next week

at whatever this is about to be,

and I have no idea what

this is about to be.

With cameras and stuff though,

we’ll have cameras and stuff here.

Yeah, hopefully functional cameras.

MARISHA: Yeah, we’ll have a video card next week.

We may already have one

thanks to Frye’s Electronics.

The fickleness of technology

and the wondrous hard work of our crew.

Make this still happen guys.

Once again, as I don’t know who it was

that pointed it out,

but we went 50 episodes.

That was me.

50 episodes without any real huge..

MATT: Hardware failures, yeah.

Hardware failures.

So that’s funny.

Episode 51 just ate it.

Thank you guys for enduring

our spree of technical issues,

and our evening of one cuts,

I hope it wasn’t too distracting.

Please do come back next week,

because this shit’s going to be crazy.

(laughter)

You’re not going to want to miss this.

So yeah, we’ll see you guys next week, and…

Is it Thursday yet?

Have a good night.