Transcript:The Search For Grog

List of Transcripts

Pre-Show
BRIAN: Los Angeles! it's Critical Role Live!

[Applause & cheering]

BRIAN: Welcome, welcome, welcome. I apologize in advance for many of the things you're gonna see here tonight. As usual. I'll take these off 'cause I can't really see anything. We couldn't afford the insurance in case I fall off the stage. Guys! How does everybody feel? Is everybody ready to stay turnt this evening?

[Cheering]

BRIAN: As you know, we spend a lot of time on our outfits for these live shows. I went online, and I Googled... I'm colorblind, is the problem. I wanted to know, like, what do the drug dealers in Beverly Hills dress like?

[Laughing]

BRIAN: Well, this is actually what I wear when I go to the skate park to I sell cigarettes to kids.

[Laughing]

BRIAN: We have a few announcements to get to before... we can just keep talking about this outfit. This outfit kinda says, like, this outfit says, cocaine's back baby!

[Cheering]

BRIAN: Just moments from now, my friends, you are going to witness, at these very tables, a masterclass in how to remember how to play a character.

[Laughing & cheering]

BRIAN: I gotta be bad cop and say, we have a strict no spoiler policy tonight. So, as you-- yes, thank you. As you can see, we have fancy cameras and equipment placed all over the place. This is being recorded, and it's going to be released next month. Which is awesome. What about my pants? My pants you can come see anytime, brother. (laughing, cheering) Problem is, I doubt both of us are gonna fit in them. (laughing) So, there's no reason for you to hold your phone up for the next four hours, and film everything, and try to bootleg it online. We're gonna put it out at much better quality than your crappy phone. We do have team members standing by at each of your houses to shave and poison your cats if you do tweet, and spread around spoilers tonight, so I hope you said a big goodbye to those little furry creatures before you got here. The bottom line is, guys, just don't be a dick, because that's my job. (cheering) Okay. I can't hear you, and honestly, the people on stage are the ones who should be screaming, so I'm sorry, it's just too far away. But speaking of your wonderful outburst, tonight, you guys can cry, you can laugh, you can cheer, you can scream, you can gasp. You can run all those emotions. The only thing we ask is that you do not shout any rules, suggestions, comments, to the stage, during the show. (cheering) The only reason why we ask that is because it's really shitty. And the people at home can't hear you anyways, so, and you know, it might make some of the people around you laugh, but if you've ever seen an episode of Talks Machina, jokes don't always go as well as planned. Or hoped, so... Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Without further ado... (cheering) I wanna introduce the cast of Critical Role.

(cheering)

Travis Willingham!

(loud cheering) (heavy rock music)

Ashley Johnson!

(cheering)

Give it up for Laura Bailey!

(cheering)

Liam O'Brien!

(cheering)

Give it up for Marisha Ray!

(cheering)

Happy Birthday to Mr. Taliesin Jaffe!

(cheering)

Prepare yourself for Sam Riegel!

(cheering)

And Mr. Matthew Mercer!

(cheering)

AUDIENCE: (singing) Happy Birthday to you
 * Happy Birthday to you
 * Happy Birthday dear Taliesin,
 * Happy Birthday to you!

(cheering)

MATT: Oh, if you only knew the adrenaline pumping through these veins right now. (laughing) Well, welcome everybody, to the amazing Ace Hotel stage. (cheering) To join us for this fantastic return of Vox Machina. (cheering) To fill a tiny little unexpected gap in the history that came about. Before we get started, just out of a curious show of hands, raise your hand if you have no idea what's going on.

MARISHA: Oh no. (laughing)

MATT: That's my favorite part of every live show. Welcome, and I'm sorry. (laughing) But anyway, so happy to be part of this fantastic experience, this great venue. So many of the amazing people came out from all over to be a part of this tonight. Thank you for traveling, whether it be from your apartment down the street, or many states or countries away, we really appreciate you making the journey. (cheering) (chuckles) Before we get into this, we have a couple of quick announcements. As you know the drill. First and foremost, we have our fantastic epic thanks to Wyrmwood for being our sponsor, for tonight's sideshow. (cheering) Been friends of the show for quite some time. They made our fantastic table that we get to play on.

LAURA: Yay!

MATT: They made this awesome game screen for me just for tonight, which I'm happy about.

LAURA: Just for tonight?

MATT: They've been very kind, yeah.

SAM: One time only.

MATT: One time only, yeah. No, this comes with me. But no they've graciously donated a $25 gift card to everyone that makes a purchase at the merch area of the lobby.

SAM: Whoa!

MATT: So, anybody who wants to go there during the mid break area, there's a gift card there waiting there for you, if you go ahead and buy something. But huge thanks to our friends at Wyrmwood for being fantastic supporters of all we do here at the show. And, yeah, just really really appreciative. And, I think that's the extent of my announcements.

LAURA: Oh, wow!

MATT: They're pretty quick tonight.

SAM: We just gotta light all of our fake candles, guys. TALIESIN: These fake candles haven't been lit.

MATT: Let's light the fake candles.

MARISHA: Turn on the candles, set the mood!

SAM: Yeah, gotta set the mood!

LAURA: Gotta set the mood!

TRAVIS: Can't Taliesin just snap and that shit happens?

(laughing)

SAM: No when he snaps, someone in the audience gets pregnant.

(laughing) (cheering)

TRAVIS: That's how that happens.

TALIESIN: Sorry about that, Travis, by the way. I apologize.

ASHLEY: Oh shit.

(cheering)

LAURA: That's good.

SAM: Ronin does look like a pyramid a little bit.

(laughing)

MATT: On that note. (laughing) Let's go ahead. And dive into... (cheering)

TALIESIN: Oh no.

MATT: Vox Machina, and the search for Grog.

LAURA: I'm gonna throw up.

MATT: Grov, grob. Grog. Oh, the nerves are there, can't you tel? For tonight's live show of Critical Role.

(maniacal laughter, cheering) (fantastical music) (cheering)

Part I
MATT: So.

TALIESIN: Oh no.

MATT: The band of adventurers known as Vox Machina (cheering) had come together as friends, family, compatriots, and then eventually, some the greatest heroes known to the current age of Exandria. In standing up to the force of the ascending god, Vecna. Managed to, through guile, skill, and the power of friendship. (laughing) Seal his essence away on the other side of the divine gate, where he could not trounce and destroy, and mold the Prime Material Plane to his will. In the process, fulfilling a deal made by their compatriot Vax, saw him step into the grasp of the Raven Queen, and vanish for good.

(audience groans)

In that sorrowful combination of loss and victory, seeing the relatively robust remains of Vasselheim that you saved from the massive incursion of the risen primordial titan that was serving as the delivery method for Vecna's city of Thar Amphala. You gathered your things, and returned to Whitestone to just ruminate on the events that had transpired.

(laughing) (cheering)

MATT: That bring us (laughing) only a couple of days later, from this climactic battle, still fresh in the throes of the immensity of what has happened, and what you've achieved, we come to Whitestone. (laughing) As the rest of you kind of scatter off for a moment, to deal with your own processing and digestion of this mixture of emotions, Pike--

(cheering)

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay.

MATT: After taking some time in the Parchwood Forest, the timberlands that surround Whitestone, you begin to ascend the stairs to the base of Whitestone Castle. And out of the corner of your eye, in the center of the courtyard, you see your best buddy Grog, the massive Goliath barbarian berserker, from the plains (cheering) of Tal'Dorei, champion of the causes you fought together since your childhood, pluck a card from the Deck of Many Things. (laughing) And in a brief euphoric moment of surprise and excitement on his face, (laughing) his eyes go dead and he falls forward face first onto the ground.

(cheering)

ASHLEY: Grog? Grog? I'm gonna run over to him and I'm gonna try to shake him awake.

MATT: Okay. You take a moment, you shake him, you know the best ways to wake Grog, usually in his various drunken stupors, yeah. Backhand him a few times.

ASHLEY: I give him a good backhand across the face.

MATT: Got you. (imitates slap) Impact hits.

ASHLEY: Grog! (groans)

MATT: His face, unresponsive, his eyes just dull. Nothing. He's alive, you feel for breathing. He's definitely as a body, there, present, but there's nothing behind it.

ASHLEY: Grog, are you in there? Hello?

(audience groans)

ASHLEY: Oh no. Oh no.

(laughing)

SAM: Travis, say something, Jesus.

(audience laughing)

ASHLEY: I'm gonna try to sit him up.

MATT: Okay. (grunts) Easy enough for you with your gauntlets of ogre strength.

ASHLEY: I'm strong. (grunts)

MATT: You sit him up and he kind of folds most of the way forward, his head slumps between his shoulders. No response.

ASHLEY: Oh no. But I notice that he's still breathing and his heartbeat is still there?

MATT: You take a moment and listen, heartbeat's still going, strong as ever. (imitates heart beating)

ASHLEY: Okay. Grog, I'm gonna go get help. You stay right here. Do not move!

(audience laughing)

ASHLEY: Uhh, okay. I'm gonna go inside and see who I can find.

MATT: Okay. Stepping inside, shouting around briefly, Percy, and Keyleth, and Scanlan. Those of you who are going about your business, you eventually begin to hear the calls of Pike bringing you together.

ASHLEY: Hey! Grog picked a card and he, he looked at it, and he smiled, and he was happy, and then he fell over.

(audience laughing)

SAM: No! No, no, no, no, Pike, that would be ridiculous, we're heroes, we just saved the world, why would... Why would he do such a thing? This is the end of the story, Pike, the end!

(audience laughing)

TALIESIN: Surely Grog is not, even Grog is not that foolish and irresponsible, I mean, we would... There's no reason. He's obviously playing a prank on you.

ASHLEY: No no no, he's not playing a prank.

MARISHA: Were the cards shiny?

ASHLEY: Yes, it was, it was a deck, and...

MARISHA: Yeah, I mean, it checks out.

SAM: He was trying get that, that's true.

ASHLEY: We both almost picked them together one time, and... We didn't. Because I thought maybe it wouldn't be a good idea, but I guess just got excited and thought why not.

MARISHA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: (sighs) But he's still breathing. His heart's still beating. He's just not awake. So maybe he's just in like a really deep sleep.

SAM: Well, let's go get Vax and-- oh. (audience groans) Sorry. It's just... It's just force of habit, it's just new, it's fresh.

TALIESIN: Let's get everyone and go outside.

SAM: Yes.

LIAM: This is a roast a year in the making.

(laughing)

TRAVIS: Yep.

(cheering)

MARISHA: I go find Vex.

MATT: Alright. It takes a little bit of time, because she's still out in the middle of the Parchwood herself, doing her own walkabout. And as you return, you can already see there's a little bit of chaos in the courtyard of Whitestone Castle. A number of the various guards have gathered around. You can see the rest of your allies, the rest of your friends, all kind of gathered around the slumped forward, unresponsive body of Grog Strongjaw.

LAURA: What did he do?

(laughing)

MARISHA: Yeah, you know those cards that we probably should have taken away from him? Yeah.

LAURA: I had those for a while, you know, I had those.

MARISHA: I know.

LAURA: I gave them back to him.

MARISHA: Well.

(laughing)

SAM: You know, I feel like this is on us. This is sort of on us, really.

LAURA: I mean, he's a child, really.

SAM: Yeah.

(laughing)

ASHLEY: Well to be fair, most of the cards are really good. So maybe he's somewhere like having a super good time.

SAM: Oh yeah, maybe this is a vacation for him.

TALIESIN: Do we see which card got pulled, is it perhaps on the ground?

MATT: No, the card actually seems to have dissipated and vanished. Or at least the text has. You go and find it on the ground and inspect it, and the actual front face of it is now blank.

TALIESIN: Well this is helpful.

SAM: We'll need to know more information, but before we do anything, I think it would help me if we had the entire group with us. So if you would, everyone, allow me, I think we're missing one member of Vox Machina, that we're gonna bring out right now onto the stage. (audience hollering)

MARISHA: You asshole!

TALIESIN: You're such an asshole.

(audience laughing)

MATT: You're a terrible human being.

LAURA: Max?

SAM: Max isn't there--

LAURA: Get that thing--

SAM: --that's a puppeteer.

LAURA: --off this stage.

SAM: It's a puppeteer. Ignore Max.

LAURA: How dare you.

LIAM: I wish I knew how to quit you, Sam Riegel.

SAM: You leave it!

MARISHA: Besides, it's inaccurate. He didn't leave a body behind.

(audience groans)

LAURA: Ooh.

SAM: That's how I imagine he looks.

LAURA: I thought for a minute, it was gonna be Trinket.

LIAM: So did I!

LAURA: I thought you were being really kind, and then... And then you proved yourself once more.

LIAM: Sam does not think of Trinket as a member of Vox Machina.

MATT: Fool me thrice.

TRAVIS: I'd much rather prefer a skeleton on stage than a giant fucking bear, I just...

LAURA: I thought it was gonna be a Trinket that we have! Shush, you.

MATT: So... Gathered around, your friend unresponsive, and kind of being the only real representatives. Most everyone else is still probably back in Vasselheim, helping clean up and settle the city, and deal with the aftermath of that incursion. What would you like to do?

LAURA: What do we do?

MARISHA: We go and find him right now of course, let's go do something.

SAM: We don't know where he is.

LAURA: We don't even know what he is. Maybe he's just in a coma, I don't know.

TALIESIN: Someone understands these cards. Someone knows the options. Someone knows what this is. And somebody owes us at this point. I say we go to Vasselheim and very politely demand some help.

(audience laughing)

MARISHA: I've missed Percy.

(laughing)

TALIESIN: Me too.

SAM: Alright, but, I can't carry him, he's huge.

ASHLEY: I can.

SAM: Well...

(audience cheering)

ASHLEY: I'm gonna do my best to try to pick him up and fireman style.

MATT: Alright. Go ahead and just make a general strength check for me.

TRAVIS: First roll. (audience cheering) First roll!

SAM: Matt, may I inspire her before she goes?

MATT: You may. You may. (audience cheers)

SAM: Okay. (singing) I have slayed Chroma Conclave, I have taught Vecna counter spell, only to be with you. Only to be with you. But we still gotta find our Goliath friend.

(cheering)

MATT: So...

ASHLEY: Wait, what does that mean?

MATT: You have a d12 that you can roll and add to any...

TRAVIS: Is that real?

LAURA: It's not gonna do anything for that, Ashley.

ASHLEY: I rolled a natural one.

(cheering)

SAM: Not a U2 fan!

TRAVIS: Not a U2 fan.

ASHLEY: Off to a great start.

SAM: But you get to add a d12.

MATT: I'll say the combination of distraction from his song, and just the kind of emotional panic of what's transpiring, you're not quite finding the strength, and eventually somebody has to help you kind of just carry him at the moment.

ASHLEY: It's not working!

LAURA: I can try to put him in the necklace. I don't know what that would do.

SAM: But isn't Trinket in there?

LAURA: No, Trinket's right next to me, you dick.

(audience laughing)

MATT: (Trinket growls)

LAURA: Where do you think he lives?

SAM: Where? I don't see-- is it a him? Is it a her? (growling)

LAURA: Scanlan Shorthalt.

SAM: I'm sorry. Force of habit.

LAURA: He's been through a lot with you. You should protect him. He's family. (chuffs) (cheering) And family's important, Scanlan. Yeah.

SAM: You're right. I'm sorry. (audience laughing) Well, I was only saying that if you put Grog in there, that means we won't be able to bring Trinket. (audience laughing)

LAURA: I'm pretty sure Trinket will be safe in Vasselheim.

SAM: So you're saying we do get to leave Trinket behind? I mean...

LAURA: I don't even know if this'll work. I go over to Grog and I hold his hand up to the necklace, and try to put him in.

MATT: Okay. Concentrating on the aspect of the necklace, you watch as his body (exhales). It's tucked into a small, looks like a gray like mist, and absorbed into the necklace.

LAURA: Hope that didn't kill him. (audience laughing) Shall we?

MATT: Roll a constitution saving throw, Grog. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

LAURA: Oh, god.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

TALIESIN: I think it's time to perhaps head to Vasselheim.

MARISHA: Yeah, let's go.

LAURA: No, Sam, you didn't!

SAM: I did it. I drank out of it.

ALL: No!

LIAM: Everyone in the cast tried to convince him to not drink from that poisonous cup that is broken on the inside and full--

MARISHA: It's rank.

LIAM: It's broken.

TALIESIN: So bad.

TRAVIS: There are smurfs living inside of that thing.

MATT: Whatever was last poured in that at the end of the last campaign has been in there for a year.

(audience groans)

SAM: I have tetanus now.

LAURA: And many other things, I'm sure.

LIAM: Yeah, enjoy your botulism. Great.

(groans)

MATT: Anyway. What would you like do?

SAM: We'd like to go.

MARISHA: Go. Vasselheim?

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yeah, okay.

MARISHA: It's like we were there yesterday. (laughing) We were there yesterday. (laughs) Okay let's go, yeah?

TALIESIN: You're, if you would be, I assume we're close enough to the Sun Tree that you can Transportation via Plants?

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Alright.

MARISHA: Hi, sun tree.

MATT: "Good to see you, Kiki." (cheering) As the now vibrant and blossoming sun tree sits in the center of the main court, the center of the main courtyard, center square of Whitestone proper (you got a proper), Keyleth steps up to it, places her fingers across it, and you watch as the trunk seems to almost tear and split into what looks to be an arched doorway. On the opposite side is...

MARISHA: Vasselheim.

MATT: Alright.

MARISHA: When I do that I go, Sun Tree, does this hurt you?

MATT: "Kinda tickles."

MARISHA: Okay. You're the best, Sun Tree. Okay, let's go, we have six seconds, go!

MATT: As you guys all charge through, that immediate kind of sucking sensation through your abdomen, your lungs kind of seem to empty of air for just an instant. As you step out the opposite side, you look around, and you're in the center of the Abundant Terrace. Just on the outskirts of the Birthheart. The Melora section of Vasselheim, where the Wildmother looks over all of nature and the surrounding vicinity. You're in the center of these rows and rows of beautiful trees, this gorgeous orchard, that the colors have been turning into the oranges and reds. The smell of smoke is still in the air. And as you look past the greenery, you can see there's still curling plumes of gray and white smoke, the lasting aspects of the battle that had transpired not but two days before. You don't hear any shouting or din, so you get the sense that the combat has completed. But as you look past, you can't help but look up and see the ominous visage of the incredibly massive and still, unmoving, primordial earth titan. Looming over the city, mid step. Its gait kind of outstretched right over the Quad Roads in the center of the city. You can see the crumbled city of Thar Amphala, still atop of its head and shoulders. And it's weirdly serenely beautiful to see it still, as this monument of that final battle. You can see birds now, kind of dissipating off of its arm and gathering, and flying through this thing that was so frightening, and brought imminent destruction, now, has its own weird legacy. So, whereabouts in Vasselheim are you looking to go?

ALL: Uh...

MATT: It's been a year. If you have questions, you can ask me, it's okay.

SAM: Yeah. What's in Vasselheim again?

LIAM: New campaign, who dis?

MATT: I know.

(laughing)

LAURA: So wait.

SAM: We wanna go see some of our old friends, like Allura.

TALIESIN: Allura's my first vote.

SAM: Gilmore.

LAURA: Yes, Allura would probably know--

SAM: Other people.

MARISHA: Kima.

(laughing)

LAURA: But I think Allura would know about this, and Gilmore might.

SAM: Why don't we get everyone? This is big news.

TALIESIN: We'll start there and we'll-- we need an expert opinion.

MARISHA: Is it big news? Grog did something stupid, I don't feel like that's, like... (laughing) I mean I'm not... We just killed that thing, so like, that's big news.

SAM: Yeah. No, you're right.

MATT: Alright.

TALIESIN: I grabbed the cards, by the way, so, we do have them pocketed.

MATT: Well, of the areas you visited, there is the Trial Forge, which is the area that is Kord based. There is the Platinum Sanctuary, which is where the council met right before the attack, and that's where all the various leaders and your friends all met. That seems to be one of the main seats of enforcement of the city.

TALIESIN: I think so.

LAURA: Le's go to that one.

MATT: Alright, so you guys start making your way over towards the Platinum Sanctuary of Bahamut. Making your way through the streets, you see many of the armed bastions and mercenary troops that are dragging away what looks to be the bodies of the remnants of Vecna, that have been killed, and they've cleaned up most of the surging armies of undead and the necromancers that had them at their beck and call. You also see them gathering some of the non-survivors of the citizens of the city. But more than that, you see the thriving community coming back together again. You see in the streets, families that are decorating what looks to be a celebration of some kind. You can see people that are kind of helping clean up, and redecorate the space, to bring it back to a sense of normality. As you make your way over towards the Platinum Sanctuary, you climb up the stairs along the side of the mountain, known as the Heaven Stair. You reach the familiar peaks at the base of the sanctuary, the large pillars that mark the entrance, the familiar soldiers, the scale bearers, nod as you approach, kind of surprised to see you return so soon, and step aside. You enter the echoing halls of the inside of what is the Platinum Sanctuary up on Silver Talon's Reach. As you enter the interior, about two dozen or so soldiers seem to fill the interior hall, of the inner sanctum, parting as you approach the centerpiece of that area. Within that chamber, only a portion of the heads of the city are present. You see the holy curator, Curtis Uleas, which you've met once before when the council met before the attack on Vecna. You see him-- he's kind of a squat, bald, kind of mousey looking fella, but he represents the Quad Roads, and Erathis, the law bearer. You also see a guard next to him, and what looks to be another compatriot, maybe a mercenary body guard. To the right of that, you see a representative of the maidens of the Raven Queen, known as the Trust of Winters. The collection of veil-bearing maidens, all dressed in black, that had previously been watching the temple that exists here in the city. You see them also being flanked by what looks to be two or three similarly adorned, but more military-ready body guards that also seem to worship the Raven Queen and are part of this trust. They're all discussing what looks to be some sort of matter of clearing up the vicinity with Highbearer Vord himself, the elven head of Silver Talon's Reach. As they're in mid conversation, everyone begins to part to let you in, and as soon as they turn to see you, and what this strange business is, their conversation falls silent, as the Highbearer turns to you all and goes, "Oh, you're back so soon. The celebration isn't for a few weeks. Maybe you've got... bored?"

TALIESIN: Not quite yet, unfortunately. I do hate to be making a request so soon, but, one of our members has fallen prey to something foolishly, and... we feel that perhaps, just at this moment, we're not capable of handling any more loss, and we would really appreciate (sighs) a bit of consideration to our plight.

MATT: "Interesting." You look upon his furrowed Elven brow, himself one of the elders of Vasselheim that worships under and represents the will of Bahamut here in Vasselheim, the Dawn City. Looking about the rest of you he goes, "Well, based on the company you're keeping, perhaps it's the larger and slower one?"

LAURA: I bamf him out. Just right there on the floor. I bamf Grog out.

MATT: The body just slams (audience laughing) onto the open marble floor in the center of the inner sanctum, with a loud, heavy thwack. That skull hit with an intensity that, knowing Grog, probably hurt the marble more. (laughing) You see a lot of them, all the surrounding individuals kind of step back and there's a bit of a, "Oh!" And the kind of hushed gasps and curious murmuring to the sides. And the Highbearer just goes, "Oh, wonderful. If he's dead as well, we have means of resurrecting, and we do--"

LAURA: No, no, he's quite alive.

MATT: "Sleeping?"

LAURA: Maybe.

TALIESIN: We found him next to this, and I display the deck.

MATT: "And what, pray tell, is this?"

TALIESIN: I would be very careful, and please do not draw a card.

MATT: "I haven't lived this long by ignoring such warnings."

TALIESIN: You will not be, (laughs) I would reckon that perhaps you would not live much longer if you ignored that one.

MATT: He hands it off to a compatriot of his, you can see who looks to be very-- dressed in familiar robes of blue and silver. But begins to draw an arcane sigil. As the city seems to shun overt arcane magic, they also understand it's a necessity in certain circumstances, but only in trusted levels. This individual finishes casting the spell, takes it, goes, "Ahh." Whispers into the ear of the Highbearer who goes, "Dear lord." (laughing) "You let him have this?" (audience cheering)

TALIESIN: Now, in our defense, it is very difficult to not let him do anything he likes, and, at the time, I had been meaning to replace it with a fake copy, but things got complicated, and I lost track of time.

LAURA: You should see his puppy dog eyes when he tries, it really is quite pathetic.

ASHLEY: And to be fair, he really didn't pick one for a really long time. (laughing) So, it's amazing that he waited this long. And he's not slow, he just has a lot left to learn.

TALIESIN: We kept the demonic skull out of his hands, I mean, that was something.

MARISHA: Yeah, it was really a trust exercise, but... (laughing) you know, looking back, maybe we should have started with like, the one where you fall, in like a group of your friends, and they catch you.

SAM: While this is going on, I'm gonna command my unseen servant to like puppeteer Grog's arms Weekend at Bernie's style. (laughing)

LAURA: Oh, he's back!

MATT: "That is strangely delightfully macabre. (laughing) You may continue." (sighs) "Give me just a moment." And he kind of closes his eyes for a second, and you hear him kind of mutter under his breath, "Please, your friends have arrived, and they need your assistance." But a moment later, there's a sudden, (whooshes) a surge of energy and a blast of wind, and there you see about 15 feet away, the familiar braided long hair of... (cheering) arcanist Allura Vysoren. (cheering) Her kind of spinning skirt comes to rest and goes, "Friends, (laughs) what is wrong with him?" (laughing) As Grog just kind of dances being held aloft in the air. She waves her hands, and he drops like a sack of potatoes.

TALIESIN: Yes.

SAM: We don't know what's wrong with him. I mean we know what's wrong with him, (audience laughing) in general, but specifically to this time, we don't know what's wrong with him right now.

MATT: The Highbearer interrupts you and goes, "He drew one of these." And she goes, "Oh, shit." (audience laughing)

SAM: That's what he said.

MATT: "Well... Let me see," and she gets close and kind of pinches his cheeks and rolls his eyelids back and looks at his eyes, and listens to his chest, and goes, "Well, I have a passing knowledge of what's capable. The good news, he's alive. The bad news is, the soul is not present. It's somewhere else."

SAM: Excellent, where? Where is it?

MATT: "I don't know. Somewhere. Probably under the guard of some dangerous entity."

ASHLEY: What?

MATT: "And to retrieve it, you would have to bring this to it," pointing to the body on the ground.

LAURA: Who the fuck makes these cards? (laughing) (cheering)

MATT: To which the Highbearer goes, "There were many individuals in the age of our canon that have continued to prove why Vasselheim is a very divine based society." Allura kind of thinks for a second. "Um, well, give me a moment. Maybe I can... Maybe I can cast a ritual that can pinpoint this, hold on."

SAM: Yes, yes please.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

MATT: She thinks for a second and she begins casting something. (chanting) "Nothing. (sighs) I think this magic may be beyond me."

MARISHA: Who is not beyond?

MATT: "I don't know. Any of you have any means of reaching beyond the planes? To gather information, see something. I'm not a divination specialist, unfortunately."

LAURA: I mean, Pike, you could pray. I could pray.

(audience laughing)

TALIESIN: Would hitting him again perhaps help?

SAM: It can't hurt. It can't hurt to hit him one more time.

TALIESIN: Scanlan, I think you should go ahead and give it a try.

SAM: Alright. I'll go up and use my whip. (laughing) I've used it once. This'll be two. I'll just whip him in the gonads. (groaning) Maybe it'll just, maybe he'll just wake up. (imitates hitting) (laughing) (imitates hitting) Well. Multi attack! (laughing)

MATT: No response. Allura has walked over and taken the deck from the Highbearer, closes her eyes for a second. "Right, alright. Best I can ascertain. The only way to really find out where his soul resides is through a very, very powerful arcane... incantation that can sort of bend reality to your will, to a small degree. I unfortunately am not powerful enough to utilize this. Nor do I know one with such capabilities. (clears throat)

SAM: Hi.

(cheering)

SAM: Hi, whip guy here. I mean... I have a thing. But I don't know how it works, and I've never used it before.

MATT: "A thing?"

SAM: I just have a power. I feel like it might be helpful here, but I really don't know what it will do to me after I do it, which is why I hesitated to bring it up at the beginning. But, if that's our only hope, I could make a Wish.

MATT: You watch Allura's face drop in absolute surprise and awe. And then, "You let him... Wish?" (audience laughing)

TALIESIN: Why does anybody think we let any of these people do anything?

MATT: "Valid point. That is amazing. By all means, I would love to see this." As she puts her arms out and pushes everyone else back about 10 feet.

TALIESIN: Do you need anything, are you alright?

SAM: I could use a cup of seltzer. (laughing)

ASHLEY: Do you want me to stand with you, while you do it?

TALIESIN: Does Grog still have the infinite thing on him? The infinite cup, mug?

SAM: I do want you to stand with me, Pike. I do. Perhaps you could stand behind me and sort of put your arms around my waist. Just in sort of like a...

MARISHA: Awkward prom?

SAM: Yeah, awkward prom type pose.

ASHLEY: I can, but what will that do?

SAM: You don't need to know. (laughing)

ASHLEY: Okay. (chuckling)

SAM: Am I doing this?

MATT: Are you doing this?

LAURA: I don't know, are you doing this, this...

SAM: What will it do?

LAURA: What will it do to you?

SAM: I don't know.

TRAVIS: One way to find out, baby.

ASHLEY: How many... (laughing)

MATT: Allura goes--

ASHLEY: How many wishes, you have one wish?

SAM: I don't know!

MATT: "As far as I understand, from what I've read about this, it is a wish. Just be very particular with your wording. And don't get greedy."

SAM: So I shouldn't wish for 1000 Grogs to appear right here, 'cause they'll all fall on me and kill me, or something like that?

MATT: "That would be the end of Exandria."

SAM: Okay. I am very confident, but I wouldn't mind some input on how I should phrase this.

LAURA: Percival, you were very very good at coming up with our wish wording, the last time we had to do this.

TALIESIN: Right. That's right, that's right.

LAURA: You remember that? Oh, you don't remember that, Pike, it was when you died. (laughing) (groans)

ASHLEY: Well...

TALIESIN: That was a while.

SAM: How about something like... I wish to know the location of Grog. That's simple, right?

MARISHA: Well, no, because he's right here.

TALIESIN: The precise location of Grog's soul.

SAM: The precise location of Grog's soul.

MARISHA: Hey, Scanlan.

SAM: Hey, Keeks?

MARISHA: What's the limits of this spell? Because theoretically, could you just be like, oh, I just wish for him back. And then like, end of day, end of show. (laughs nervously)

TALIESIN: I don't understand your metaphor.

SAM: You know, I love a good story, and that seems like an anticlimactic one. (audience cheering)

MATT: Allura pipes up and goes, "And I would say there are great limitations to the capability of this spell, specific to the terrifying enchantment of this deck of cards."

TALIESIN: I think the strongest thing I could even think to say would be to bring all of us near the-- no, we just-- I think just best--

SAM: She said don't get greedy.

TALIESIN: Don't get greedy.

SAM: She said don't get greedy.

TALIESIN: I would like, yeah, the precise location of Grog's soul.

SAM: Who am I wishing to? I really am not a big-- no offense Pike. I mean, I've been learning the ways of Sarenrae. Maybe I should wish to her.

LAURA: Don't you have Ioun's eye or something?

SAM: Sure, but I don't want to make Pike jealous or anything, I don't know how this works. I'm still new to religion, so.

MATT: You look across the chamber, there appears to be one monk of the Cobalt Reserve that's built within the city that goes...

(audience laughing)

SAM: What, I'm converting for a girl, alright? It's okay. (cheering) Alright. Here goes. (laughing) (singing) I wish. It's not for me, it's for my friend. I wish to know the precise location of my friend Grog's soul.

MATT: The minute those words leave your lips, the rest of you watch Scanlan's face just go slack. And for a moment, you are so afraid that he went the same place.

MARISHA: Why does this keep happening?

MATT: Scanlan. As that happens, your vision suddenly is wrested away from this location. The familiar pillars and warm daylight and the vision of your friends are torn from your vision as suddenly you feel yourself, your consciousness being temporarily thrust through the inner planes. Fire burning, primordial energies, as water turns into blankets of steam, hundreds of miles long. You're thrust through that barrier into the outer planes, beyond the divine gate, the familiar lattice of energy that holds the gods at bay from their Far Realms. And there you see, just brief instances of madness and insanity at the corners of the Abyss. Suddenly, your consciousness is brought to what appears to be a location of deep, burrowed, massive caverns, twisting through rock and earth. There, in a lightless expanse, where wind is endless, and maddening, you see what looks to be tower, a mountain, almost, comprised of toppled boulders. And at the very top of this you see what looks to be a small plateau with a low wall around it. And a glowing, red gem that sits there in the middle. And you can sense Grog's essence trapped within that stone. And a voice tells you, "Your friend's soul is locked on the realm of Pandemonium. Atop the Howler's Crag in Cocytus."

SAM: The what? (audience laughing) The Howler's Crag?

MATT: The Howler's Crag on Cocytus. And then, your consciousness is ripped out of that space, thrust back into you to the point where the force sends you almost ass over tea kettle onto the ground. (splats) (gasping)

SAM: Ah.

LAURA: Are you alright?

SAM: The wonders of the universe did unfold. (laughing) I know the location of Grog's soul. I was given untold power. He is near a tower. I saw a red gem, and he's in Pandemonium! (cheering)

LAURA: Good job.

SAM: I think this is how I talk now? (laughing) Orange. No, it's good. I'm good. I'm good. Phew! That was really weird, guys. I know where he is. He's in the realm of Pandemonium, in Howler Crag, near Crokeedus, or something? (laughs) I think that'll get us there.

MATT: Alright. Couple things have to happen here.

SAM: Couple things, couple things? What happens to me? That's all I care about!

MATT: I rolled a 39%. It was a 33% chance every time you cast the wish spell, to do anything beyond getting a spell, that you lose it forever. But you keep it.

TRAVIS: Holy shit.

MATT: However, your strength is currently three. (groaning)

SAM: That's a negative six, right?

MATT: Uh... It's negative four.

SAM: Negative four.

MATT: Oh, that's actually your lucky roll, for two days.

LAURA: (sighs) Great. (laughing)

MATT: The physical stress of the sheer force of arcane power that channeled through you to bend reality has left you dilapidated and weak.

SAM: But Pike's holding me.

ASHLEY: (laughing) I got you.

SAM: I can't talk, I'm really weak.

ASHLEY: That was so great though, you got so much information.

SAM: I didn't...

ASHLEY: I can help you walk and carry you wherever we need to go.

SAM: I don't know.

ASHLEY: Oh, you can't talk either?

SAM: I can, I'm just... (laughing) I just don't know. I feel so weak.

ASHLEY: Oh no.

LAURA: How long are you going to be like this?

SAM: I don't know! (laughing)

ASHLEY: Can I... I wonder if I could cast Greater Restoration.

LAURA: I mean...

TALIESIN: I don't know if that would fix it.

LAURA: We can't go to fucking Pandemonium or whatever with you like this.

TALIEIN: Well, we need to prepare ourselves anyway. We don't know any-- well, what do we know about Pandemonium?

MATT: Allura is taking this information and goes, "Well, that... We now know where he is, that's good. Pandemonium, that's bad. Pandemonium is a terrible realm of the outer planes. It's adjacent to the horrors of the Abyss, and the chaos of Limbo. It's a place of great madness, a domain of rocks infused with massive tunnels, carved out of screaming winds, where your sanity is challenged at every edge. Alight this expanse of pitch black, there are disorienting pathways ever twisting through the caverns. Creatures of violent mania stalk the dust and sand blasted tunnels. The few that are banished there are left to lose themselves in the chaos around them. Cocytus itself is one of the more central regions, but the tower you speak of it's a home of many lost secrets, deadly denizens, and rumors speak that atop this very crag, there's a space where words that are shouted against the wind can be heard by whoever the intended recipient is, no matter where they are on the planes. But few, if none, return from there, due to the dangers present. So, um, you could probably use some help. I don't... Kima would kill me."

TALIESIN: We understand.

MATT: "But I trust--" and at this point, the Highbearer goes, "Well, the city does owe you a favor. Let's see. Are there any individuals here who'd be willing to raise a hand in volunteer to aid the saviors of Vasselheim on a dangerous mission to the plane of Pandemonium? (clears throat) (audience cheering)

TRAVIS: I am so sorry. Did you say the plane of Pandemonium?

MATT: And you look over by the high curator, Curtis Uleas, of the Erathis quarter of the city. And next to him you see...

TRAVIS: Bertrand Bell. Sir Bertrand Bell. At your service.

MATT: Describe what you look like, if you don't mind.

TRAVIS: Yes, I'm in my late 50's, early 60's, a devilish silver fox son of a bitch. (cheering) Beautiful orange, maroon, and purple robes of the finest finery, and a beautiful rapier on my hip. And I have beautiful tan skin, if I may say so myself.

LAURA: What color are your eyes?

TRAVIS: Piercing blue.

LAURA: Oh. (cheering)

TRAVIS: I couldn't help but notice you said the plane of Pandemonium. One of my realms of specialty. (laughing) This is the legendary group known as Vox Machina, is it not? (cheering)

TALIESIN: It is indeed, good sir.

SAM: (mumbling)

TRAVIS: My gods. The little fellow, he's an interesting one. God, the services you have done to this city, incredible! Absolutely outstanding. You know I myself was a fierce, fierce warrior, of great renown, known far and wide for my many exploits. My great talents. Have you ever heard of the whispering werewolf of the North? Yes I slayed that beast, I'm sure you've read about it. (laughing) Yes. Perhaps the horrible hippogriff of the West. (laughing) Any takers?

LAURA: Yes, I've heard of that one.

TRAVIS: That, also me.

LAURA: Wow.

TRAVIS: I might have gone by a different name because I like to keep it low profile. I would truly value the chance to aid heroes such as yourself, and I'm sure my talents could lend you a little bit of help in your endeavors.

TALIESIN: Wonderful.

MARISHA: What talents?

TRAVIS: Well, I am quite the esteemed fighter, and I've been to this Pandemonium, plane of Pandemonium many, many times.

MATT: "Well then, Sir Bertrand. It would seem that you would be the necessary guide for such a journey. Consider yourself the guide."

TRAVIS: I merely meant I would advise them on the trip.

MATT: Yes, on the trip. You will guide them. Anybody else who would wish to join this venture?

LIAM: Yes. (cheering)

MATT: Surrounding the Trust of Winters representative, the veil-covered woman from Raven's Crest in the Duskmeadow of Vasselheim, you see one of the guardian champions step forward. If you would describe yourself.

LIAM: A woman with deep, dark, brown, almost black hair, and a very polished fine black breastplate, a coif of feathers at her neck. All dark robes, and five gleaming stars around her neck. "The Raven's Crest, and the Trust of Winter would be proud to aid you in this. We have felt that the Matron's Chosen has departed this plane. We know how painful this must be for you now. We wish to offer our service, my service, as thanks for saving Vasselheim, the temple, all of us really. It would be my great honor."

MATT: "Very well. Lieve'tel. You have been accepted into this party. Great. I have business to attend to. Gather your things, find your own way." Allura's like, but we... "What do you want from me? I am not a plane jumper, I run this. And if you haven't noticed, this entire city was nearly razed to the ground. So I have some things to attend to."

LAURA: Yes, but think of all the new summer homes you'll be able to build. (laughing)

MATT: "I like your chipper attitude. Now please leave." (laughing)

MARISHA: Allura.

MATT: "Yes, Keyleth?"

MARISHA: Do you have anybody else who might be interested in going, other than her? I'm sure she's very... nice.

MATT: "Unfortunately at the moment, we... Anybody?"

MARISHA: Yeah, anybody?

MATT: And the room, as you look around the chambers, most everyone, you can see a moment where they want to help, but everyone looks genuinely frightened at the prospect of traveling to the plane of Pandemonium. So, after this kind of awkward 60 second silence, the distant kind of (clears throat) cough. Kind of a sneeze.

LAURA: Bless you.

MATT: "Alright. Well. This is great."

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: "Do you need to rest up?"

LAURA: Yes.

TALIESIN: That would not be a terrible idea.

MATT: "Alright, take a few days, gather your things."

LAURA: Is Grog going to be alright for a few days?

MATT: "I hope so."

ASHLEY: Wait, you've been to the plane of Pandemonium. Will he be okay?

TRAVIS: Yes, he will be fine. (laughing) Once we're there, we will tap into the local fauna and concoct a bit of an antidote that should right him for our...

MARISHA: There's local fauna?

TRAVIS: Yes, many different plants, and animals.

MARISHA: What?

TRAVIS: You'll see when we get there.

SAM: (groaning)

TRAVIS: Your friend, I believe he needs help.

LAURA: I thought you could talk, Scanlan.

SAM: (groaning)

MARISHA: Oh, Scanlan, do you think he's lying?

SAM: (groans "Uh-huh!")

MARISHA: "Oh, yeah. (laughing) He's got that look on his face when he doesn't trust people. (laughing) Can I do an insight check on Bertram?

MATT: Sure. (cheering) (chuckles)

MARISHA: Uh-huh.

TALIESIN: I missed that die.

MARISHA: Oh my god, I've got such good insight! 20!

TALIESIN: Whoa!

MARISHA: And I rolled terribly!

TRAVIS: 12. (Matt gets up for a whisper)

SAM: Oh! (cheering) Guys, you're such a good audience. We love you. Thank you for coming. And Wyrmwood is a fine maker of tables and things.

MARISHA: Do you have any flowers from the last time you visited Pandemonium?

TRAVIS: Alas--

MARISHA: I like to collect flowers on my journey.

TRAVIS: I left a few of the pressed flowers that I had at home. I don't have any with me, unfortunately.

MARISHA: Scanlan, I think you're right.

SAM: (moans) You're shitting me!

TRAVIS: But fear not. As long as I am with you, we'll be fine.

LAURA: He's going to get us killed.

MARISHA: Yeah. And what? Sorry. Hi, hi.

LIAM: Hello, child.

MARISHA: Did you child, me?

LIAM: Well--

MARISHA: Yeah. Hi.

LIAM: Hello.

MARISHA: What's your name?

LIAM: Oh, Lieve'tel. Lieve'tel.

MARISHA: Lieve'tel.

LIAM: I'm sorry, is there a problem?

MARISHA: No! (laughing) No! Um...

TRAVIS: Your voice is very high.

MARISHA: What? Bye, I'm gonna, Percy, come here.

TALIESIN: I believe what she's trying to say is your patron owes us a mighty debt, and we appreciate you beginning that centuries long process. (cheering) Back, baby.

LIAM: I am fully aware. And I hope that you will consider this that first step. I have spoken to my matron. I have some idea. We felt him depart, and I know-- and she looks at Vex'ahlia. (audience groans) I know losing a loved one across the veil is always a challenge. That is a simple truth, but it makes it no less difficult for all of us who go through it. And yet, the story he wove with his thread is a noble one. And we know that he gave his life so that others would live, and we are grateful. And that is why I gladly give my aid.

TALIESIN: Thank you for helping us make it not be two lives that we have to give for this cause.

LIAM: I am so sorry.

MARISHA: Do me a favor. And don't talk to me about how painful it is any more. Okay?

LIAM: I understand.

MARISHA: Okay, let's go to bed, let's get some dinner!

MATT: Allura packs up. "I'll have to go through my archives. I may be able to at least, if not find, I can maybe borrow from Eskil if he has it. A rune that I can create a circle to send you to Pandemonium."

TALIESIN: My god.

LAURA: Do you have a wonderful rune to get us back?

MATT: "No, that depends on you guys."

LIAM: If need be, I can supply that process.

TALIESIN: Excellent.

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: "I believe you can as well, Keyleth."

MARISHA: Yep.

LAURA: Oh.

MARISHA: Done it a lot. (laughs awkwardly) (audience laughs)

LAURA: I remember that. Of course, I remember that.

TALIESIN: Like it was yesterday.

MATT: "It's only been a few days, what's wrong with you?"

TALIESIN: Rough days.

LIAM: Well, we have so much in common. (audience groans)

TALIESIN: Let's take a couple days, rest up.

MATT: "Yes, let's do that. I'm gonna go to my tower, do my research. Rest up. You especially, Scanlan. I'm proud of you."

SAM: (moans as Percy pats him on the back)

MATT: "I'm proud of you, that is magic I had never, ever sought to see done."

TRAVIS: Allura, is there, have we talked about hazard pay for this? Any sort of coin, or...

MATT: "I'm going to explain to you the term volunteer." (audience cheers) "It comes from the archaic Elven word, veloum, which means, "give everything." So I am very impressed with your ability to give your life and sacrifice everything for the good of these fine people. Rest well." And she teleports away. (audience cheers)

TRAVIS: Ah. Looking forward to it. (clears throat)

LIAM: Master Bell, I have heard many a story about you. Are you sure you're up to the challenge?

TRAVIS: (chuckling) Am I up for the challenge? My goodness. My dear woman. Is the challenge up for me? (cheering)

LIAM: Well, at least there will be entertainment on the way.

TRAVIS: Felt like that was a dig. (laughing)

MATT: Alright. If you guys would like to take the next couple of days to rest in Vasselheim. Is there anything in particular you want to, or need to take care of before this journey? Because we are on a bit of a time crunch. Speak now, or forever hold your inventory.

TRAVIS: I'm good to go.

TALIESIN: Let home know what we're doing and beyond that, ready to go.

SAM: I feel like maybe we should just quickly check in with Gil, Gilmore. Just lik e a quick... (cheering) Just to see how he's faring.

MATT: Alright. Through the use of a Locate Creature spell, which is easy enough for you to muster over the next couple of days, you find that Gilmore is still within Vasselheim. Leading yourself down towards the Quad Roads, you see a portion of the city not far from one of the massive footsteps of the primordial titan that had crushed what looks to be three square blocks in one giant footfall. Where that crater is, you can see there's a number of families that are out of a home. But a lot of them have been gathered around, and you can see there are bastions bringing food. And among them, you see the familiar purple and gold robes, beautiful dark skin, goatee, and ever present rosy smile of Shaun Gilmore, as he's currently down there doing a series of tricks and prestidigitation to impress and bring joy to what looks to be a group of about six or seven children on the side of the road. You watch as these sparkles extend from his fingertips, and he begins to kind of weave them around, and then suddenly as he releases, they explode into what looks to be a dozen glowing orange birds that (flutters) flutter away and then (flutters) disappear into small fireworks. The kids scream loudly, and then cheer and clap. They rush up and kind of, two of them hug his leg, and he's like, (chuckles) "It's nothing, really, it's a cantrip. (laughing) Oh my goodness. If these aren't faces that I've been wanting to see. Come here." And he runs up and puts his arms around, you see he puts one arm around Keyleth and kind of just to Percy. And he puts one around Vex, and kind of leans out for Pike, and goes, "Oh, it's so good to see you. Most of you." Is Grog back in the necklace at this time?

LAURA: Yes he is.

MATT: "Where's Grog?"

LAURA: Uh... Soulless.

MATT: (laughing) "I didn't hear you say that."

LAURA: Grog. No, really, he's soulless. He's in the necklace right now. He's unconscious, and...

MATT: "Well I guess that's par for the course, wouldn't it be? And where's the pretty one?" (audience groans)

SAM: I'm right here, hi. (laughing)

TALEISIN: We're having to make a dash to Pandemonium soon, we were wondering if you had any advice, and or ideas of ways to keep safe in that realm. (sighs)

MATT: "I'm not gonna lie, I'm not the most school learned practitioner of the arcane arts. It's more of a gift. But from what I've heard in passing, it's a very very nasty place."

TALIESIN: We will fill you in on all of the insanity when we return, but we are taking Grog there to reconstitute himself a bit. He was toying with a Deck of Many Things.

MATT: You notice as he's listening to this conversation, there's a dual aspect of his current attention. He's listening, but he's also watching all of your faces, and you watch his expression kind of slowly drop.

LAURA: We need to talk to you. (groaning)

MATT: "I... I believe I already have an idea."

MARISHA: I mean you knew it was coming, right?

MATT: "I did."

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: "It doesn't make it any easier, but, (chuckles) who am I to say that to you?"

SAM: We tried.

MARISHA: I reach out and I grab Vex's hand.

SAM: We all tried so hard.

MARISHA: And I grab Scanlan's hand.

SAM: But we couldn't...

MATT: He steps forward and just puts his arms around you and holds you. And whispers into your ear. "I'm so very sorry. The two of you shined so bright. But that light hasn't gone away either." And he kind of steps away for a moment, and you can see the tears down his face as well. "But I'm proud. My god, look what you've done. When I met you, you were a bunch of bumblefucks, I mean seriously. (audience cheers) I was raising prices 'cause you were so brash and obnoxious. But..."

LAURA: I knew you were. (laughing)

MATT: "Oh, I couldn't haggle past you, Vex. Anyway. Thank you for letting me know. Now's not my time to grieve, there's..." And then he kind of points to all the families out there on the road and says, "They, they've lost far more. I'll tend to them. Maybe once you complete this venture, we can all have some nice tea, and some pastries, and we can reminisce and talk story."

TALIESIN I look forward to it.

MATT: "Me too."

TALIESIN: To Pandemonium, I suppose.

LAURA: Hey, Shaun. He loved you. And so do we.

MATT: "I know. I know. Anyway. (clears throat)" He casts prestidigitation, and you watch as the tear marks just dissipate. His eyeshadow gets noticeably more vibrant and fantastic.

LAURA: That is a good cantrip.

MARISHA: Jealous.

MATT: "Well, I have an audience to perform for. You take care of yourselves. Remember. We made plans. My place, Emon, you know where to find it." He walks over to you and says, "You take care."

LAURA: Thanks, darling.

MATT: "Children, come! Let me show you why they call me glorious."

(cheering)

SAM: Good out line.

MATT: So. You guys take the next couple days to rest, gather your things, prepare yourself for a journey you're not entirely certain of what awaits you. But, thankfully, you regain your physical strength back. (laughing)

LAURA: What are you back up to now?

SAM: 13.

LAURA: Way higher than my seven. Oh damn!

MATT: Allura rejoins you, as you all gather back up in the Silver Talon's Reach, in the Platinum Sanctuary, not in the inner sanctum but in the central hallway there, there is a place that is kind of utilized for a ritual, and this was the place chosen to complete this spell. As you all gather around, Allura pulls out a book and she goes through it again, finds the page, and takes a little bit to complete this very elaborate glyph across the ground, and she's kind of, some of it she knows by heart, some of it she's having to refer to the book, and she goes through and completes copying all these various runes. And then goes, "Alright, friends, come please, stand in the center."

ASHLEY: I jump in real quick.

MATT: Okay. "And do you have Grog with you?"

LAURA: Oh yes. Should I bring him out?

MATT: "As long as he's with you it should be fine. Is Trinket coming? (audience groans)

LAURA: How terrible is Pandemonium?

MATT: "Well, it's called Pandemonium." (audience laughs) (chuckles)

LAURA: I'm having a very hard time here.

TRAVIS: Sorry, who's this Trinket?

MATT: At which point you hear behind your ear (growls).

TRAVIS: Fuck! (audience laughs)

MATT: You turn around to see this massive, brown furred grizzly bear covered in armor that's just-- teeth are exposed, its lip quivering with a snarl. (growling)

TRAVIS: Friend or foe? Friend or foe?

LAURA: He's a friend.

LIAM: That is a handsome bear, and she walks up and starts scratching him by the neck. You are a beast, look at you! (grunting) I think you should bring him with us. (groaning)

LAURA: (holding back tears) Sorry, someone very close to me did that as well. I mean, maybe we should, Trinket. (inquisitive groan) It's quite dangerous, you know. Grog is the necklace, so if anything happens to you, you won't be able to go there. You understand?

MATT: You see he starts like, making this subtle motion of his nose towards the ground.

LAURA: What do you mean? I cast Speak With Animals.

MATT: "I can carry him." (audience groans) (audience laughs)

LAURA: Alright. Alright, you can carry him, darling. (slurping)

MATT: Big, long lick upside your face with a giant bear tongue.

LAURA: I bamf Grog out. (splats)

MATT: Second heavy slam on the marble floor of the inner sanctum. It echoes through the long halls and pillars and you watch as the nearby scale bearers all stop to turn to see what that loud firecracker sound was. Oh, it's Grog. (laughing)

TALIESIN: You're lucky we don't shave you in your sleep.

TRAVIS: Oof.

TALIESIN: He had it coming! (cheering)

SAM: I think his face just moved.

MATT: Alright. Trinket walks over. And starts dragging him by his teeth. Like kind of pulls up.

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay. Can someone, Pike, can we get Trinket?

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here.

MATT: With both of you together, you manage to get Grog's extremely heavy body onto Trinket's back, and kind of wrestle him between the shoulders.

LAURA: Trinket? (grunts) How does it feel? (grunts) All right.

MARISHA: I think I have some rope. We might be able to like, tie Grog's hands and his legs, and he'd be like a Grog backpack on Trinket. (audience laughs, cheers) Just if you wanna.

LIAM: You snooze you lose, buddy! (laughing)

TALIESIN: Does the wearing of Grog backpack increase or decrease Trinket's AC, out of curiosity? (laughing)

MATT: It's almost like a wild shape. It's just additional hit points for Trinket.

TALIESIN: Alright! (cheering) I like that.

MARISHA: Percy, help. Percy! Help me!

TALIESIN: I am helping. I'm helping run things. Well done. Well done. Oh, yes, alright.

MATT: Alright, you manage to go ahead and affix Grog's body to Trinket's back using the plates of armor to anchor him, you feel pretty sturdy.

LAURA: You know if we get in a fight, this is going to be really awkward. Alright.

MATT: Allura looks up. "Alright, so that's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. That'll do. Step into the circle, everyone." You can see kind of the nerves, there's a bit of a sweat bead around her forehead. "Just, be careful. Keep your eyes about you. Stay together. Things are strange in the outer planes. Not everything is as it seems. And some things are far more dangerous than they may seem."

LIAM: This will be interesting. It's been decades since I've gone plane hopping. Are you ready, Mr. Bell?

TRAVIS: Uh. More than ever! (clears throat)

MATT: "Good luck. And be safe." As she extends her hand, you watch all the runes glow around you. The chamber seems to vibrate with this low hum. You hear the steady cracking sound, and you think it's the temple falling onto you, but it's not. It's the ground crumbling from beneath you. All of you (swooshes) get pulled (swooshing) below, into this vacuum of space. And then suddenly thrust through what looks to be this speeding lattice of glowing yellow orange energy, whoosh, rushes past you. An interpretation of the Divine Gate, maybe your mind's trying to interpret, or was that actually the physical divine gate? You don't know. But within a moment, suddenly, your feet hit heavy rock. (whooshing) You are all simultaneously blasted, with one of the heaviest winds you've ever felt. Your vision is dark. There is light nowhere around you. You're in a black expanse. You can feel sand and dust rocketing and pummeling your form. Your skin stings with the sheer perpetual impact of these heavy, heavy winds. The sound of them is this curling, grinding scream of thousands of voices. The wind being raked across the cragulous expanse that you cannot see. Welcome to Pandemonium. (audience cheers) And that's where we'll go ahead and take our break.

ALL: Oh! (cheering)

LAURA: Oh my god.

SAM: Holy shit.

TRAVIS: Oh, fuck.

MATT: I figured that'd be--

AUDIENCE: It's alright, Travis! (laughing)

MATT: That'd be a good breaking point. So, we'll be back here shortly. We're gonna take a little break for ourselves, and for you guys as well, to go ahead and get drinks, peruse in the lobby, we'll make sure to call you back in before the next part of the show begins. But uh--

TALIESIN: Oh man.

MATT: Oh, shit's about to get real interesting. (laughing) (audience cheering) Thank you guys. We'll see you here in a little bit.