Transcript:What Comes Next

List of Transcripts

Pre-Show
AABRIA: Hello, and welcome to Exandria Unlimited! I am Aabria Iyengar, and though I normally go by Game Master, my outfit would suggest today that Dungeon Master is a far more appropriate appellation. So we'll go with that. Before we get started with our glorious finale, I want to remind you all one more time about this most excellent of tables so let's do some introductions. Robbie.

ROBBIE: Woo, my name is Robbie Daymond, and I left all my latex at home.

AIMEE: Oh!

ROBBIE: But that doesn't mean I'm not equally dangerous as Dorian Storm, the air genasi bard here to rock your world. Let's go, finale time! (cheering)

AABRIA: Liam.

LIAM: I'm Liam O'Brien. I am wearing latex, you just can't see it. (laughter)

AABRIA: A challenge.

LIAM: I am playing as Orym of the Air Ashari, the halfling of my dreams. He's so dreamy. Let's play.

AIMEE: He's so dreamy.

AABRIA: Don't say nice things like I won't kill you off. Ashley.

ASHLEY: Oh, hello, I am Ashley Suzanne Johnson. I am playing Fearne Calloway, and... Um. I was going to try to make a latex joke, like my skin is, I can't, I got to work on it. It's too quick to think of something!

LIAM: We'll workshop it.

ASHLEY: Anyway--

AIMEE: It's a work in progress.

ASHLEY: So I'm a faun druid, hey!

ALL: Eyy!

ROBBIE: Oh!

MATT: Hi, I'm Matthew Mercer. I play Dariax, the dwarven sorcerer, and I chose instead to go with more of a vinyl tight pants.

AIMEE: Oh yeah, I see it, it's very tight.

MATT: The squeak and room is minimal.

AIMEE: Squeak, squeak, squeak.

MATT: Go ahead.

AABRIA: Love to hear it.

AIMEE: Sweaty. Hi, I'm Aimee Carrero. I play Opal, a hexblade warlock who is fresh out of spells.

MATT: Yeah, that's what it's about! (laughter)

AABRIA: Warlock life. All right, since these episodes are wonderfully pre-taped, we're going to throw to our favorite time traveler in the whole world, Matthew Mercer, for some announcements and sponsor reads. Take it away, Cozy Matt!

MATT: Thank you, Aabria. This episode of ExU is sponsored by Bethesda and ZeniMax Online Studios and their latest release, The Elder Scrolls Online: Blackwood, which is available now on all platforms. Join the over 18 million players in the award-winning RPG and enter the Gates of Oblivion. ESO: Blackwood is optimized for Xbox Series XS and PlayStation 5, and both the base game and the Blackwood chapter are on sale on select platforms, so act fast. Check out everything right now at elderscrollsonline.com/buy. This episode is also sponsored by Sega and their game, Humankind-- not dog-kind, sorry-- a turn-based, historical strategy game, where you'll be rewriting the entire narrative of human history and combining cultures to create a civilization that's as unique as you are. From the humble origins of a neolithic tribe, to the early modern British era, the legacies of each culture you select carry on throughout the ages, giving you unique bonuses, with a near-endless combination of outcomes. Check out the game and you can visit store.humankind.game to pre-purchase Humankind right now and get 17% off. Thank you so much for joining us live on Twitch and YouTube, but to join in our live and moderated community chat, please head on over to our Twitch channel. And you can join us next Thursday, August 19th, on Twitch and YouTube for our second Elder Scrolls Online session sponsored by our friends at Bethesda and ZeniMax Online Studios. Marisha Ray will be taking over the GM seat to continue the adventure from our last Elder Scrolls Online session with the incredible cast of Michelle Nguyen Bradley, Aabria Iyengar, Laura Bailey, Sam Riegel, and Taliesin Jaffe. And please be sure to join us for Exandria Unlimited's roundtable-style campaign wrap-up hosted by our very own creative director, Marisha Ray, on Thursday, August 26th, on Twitch and YouTube. And with that, from me and a delightfully sleepy Omar, back to you, Aabria. (clicks tongue)

AABRIA: Hey, Matt. I think it's so great that you decided to do that last ad read in a full Dorian cosplay with the face paint! It's beautiful and just the attention and craftsmanship. It was a treat, thank you. Thank you for that.

LIAM: Get to work, Matt.

ASHLEY: I love you.

AIMEE: He's not so cozy anymore.

MATT: Well...

ASHLEY: Ooh!

MATT: I better start getting on it. (laughter)

MATT: You!

AABRIA: I love you!

MATT: I love you!

AABRIA: Actually, I love you all, so are you ready?

AIMEE: No!

ASHLEY: I don't-- Yes, but no.

AABRIA: All right, well then, let's start the finale of Exandria Unlimited.

(dramatic music)

Part I
AABRIA: One night in Niirdal-Poc: revelations, realizations, and a new direction forward. You decided to head south through the lower jungle towards the heart of the Iron Authority in order to find Tetrarch Umejii to find and avert some yet unknown disaster. You came across the ruins of Niirdal-Sarqet, the spiritual center of the Qoniira Tetrarchy and marveled at a massive floating stone hexahedron covered in runes and light. You climbed it, translated it, and inadvertently gave portions of your own life force to summon violent stone constructs. Fearne, you seized control of the entire cube, and by halting its rotation, caused it to shatter apart and unleash a bright blue miasma of arcane energy that flows around you and through you and remains still. It also called her to you all. Myr'atta Niselor, the purple-clad arcanist from Syngorn that has stopped you halfway around the world and even into the streets of Niirdal-Poc, has arrived. She attacked Opal during your fight, sending residuum needles into both of your shoulders and your forehead, and tethering you to something. As she stepped out finally into view, she spoke words of greeting, even as her magic slammed Opal to the ground. Ever defiant, our warlock growled back. And as she stood over Opal our villain retorted, "I'm not talking to you." Orym, you're the closest to the scene right now, just a scant 40 feet away. Make a perception check for me.

LIAM: Natural 20.

AIMEE: Hey, hey, hey! (claps)

AABRIA: Well dang, I'll let you ask a followup question, but I will offer that as you're watching all of this occur, as you see this woman standing over your friend and comrade in arms, you hear behind you (footsteps clomping) the ever-approaching footsteps of one last stone construct, the one that you knocked off of the platform very early in the fight and I am not bitter about at all headed in your direction. With a natural 20, you actually see that off in the clearing at that very edge of the trees to the side you see little Mister, a little De Brazza's monkey that's cheering on his mom and staring up at the platform. And with a natural 20, I will offer you something that I was trying to keep close to the vest: That Myr'atta Niselor is not alone.

LIAM: That's what was I was going to ask.

AABRIA: Okay, is there anything you want to know?

LIAM: No, I just wanted to know if I could see, in addition to the lumbering fellow behind me, if there was anyone else hiding behind her.

AABRIA: I got to give it to you, we respect a crit in this house. There are two other figures deeper, hanging back in the shadows. So what do you want to do?

LIAM: I am going to... Shoot, is she right above, she's on Opal?

AABRIA: She's not making physical contact. She's just sort of hovering imperiously over her in a moment that I have decided in my head is very cool looking.

MATT: (laughs) You're not alone.

AABRIA: Oh my god, thanks. Have inspiration for believing in my vision.

MATT: Yay!

AABRIA: Yay!

LIAM: If I'm able, I'm going to dive off of the column that I'm on.

AABRIA: Yep.

LIAM: Into a roll and out of the roll into a run and try to get into the middle of it.

AABRIA: Okay, yeah, I'm not going to make you roll for that because you're nimble and just, we don't need to hear you succeed again, you're fine. You jump off and you're headed over. Make a dexterity saving throw.

LIAM: That is a 19.

AABRIA: With a 19, you're able to curve just as you hear the whistle of a crossbow bolt that was headed for your center of mass and you're able to turn it away and not get hit by it, but you know that there is some suppressing fire if you keep running forward. What do you want to do?

LIAM: I'm going to continue.

AABRIA: Okay. Myr'atta immediately stiffens up and steps back, and you're still pinned on the ground.

AIMEE: Do I have any use of my hands?

AABRIA: Possibly.

AIMEE: Okay.

AABRIA: The spell you attempted to cast didn't require any movement on your end. So I don't know if you necessarily have a strong sense yet of how you're physically limited by those needles and those tethers.

AIMEE: Can I try to stick my hand in my pocket?

AABRIA: Yeah, give me an athletics check. Actually, give me a sleight of hand check.

AIMEE: Okay. Oh. Six.

AABRIA: I'll roll against it, there's a chance. There's not. As you go, you're straining against what feels like gravity quadrupled on you. And as you get your hand just over your pocket, this is the last thing that I'm going to let Myr'atta do before you can get there and interpose yourself. She kicks your hand away and is stepping on your wrist.

AIMEE: Okay.

AABRIA: And then you get there.

MATT: Bitch.

AIMEE: Bitch.

AABRIA: What's everyone else doing? You guys are on the platform highest and farthest away. You're about 120 feet away from where the action is, for what it's worth.

ROBBIE: 120 feet straight down, pretty much?

AABRIA: You're a little closer so I'll say you're probably about 80 feet away. You were back on the top back edge of the platform.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: Yeah, were were both up on that platform where we just took that guy out.

AABRIA: Oh yeah, that's right.

MATT: So I guess at this point I'm like: Thanks for the assist.

ASHLEY: No problem.

MATT: You're not going to jump off the edge, too?

ASHLEY: Well. How much do we see?

AABRIA: Oh, I'll let you see all of it. I want you to see it.

ASHLEY: We have to get down there.

MATT: Oh, yeah! Hold on. And then I'm going to put my arm out.

AIMEE: Yes.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: All right. And I just grab you at the waist and take off. (groans) You're bigger than I thought!

ASHLEY: I'm very heavy.

MATT: Uh, no, you're not. You're not heavy.

AABRIA: She's dense.

MATT: You're just dense.

ASHLEY: Very, very dense.

MATT: Yeah, oh, furry though.

ASHLEY: It's a lot of girth.

MATT: It's nice and comfy. And looking over at Dorian, you're still up on there as well?

ROBBIE: Yeah, I'm below you right in the center one.

MATT: I look at my other arm and go: Maybe room for one more?

ROBBIE: (exhales) All right, we'll give it a try. And we'll do a classic (slaps arms together) one of those flying.

AABRIA: Oh, so dope!

MATT: And it takes all of Dariax's strength to not immediately plummet, but gradually, strainingly, bring them to the ground. (groans)

ASHLEY: I'm trying to flap my ears.

ROBBIE: I've got my winged boots on trying to give you a little--

AABRIA: A little flutter.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: I'm off-kilter now. (screams)

LIAM: Clap your hands if you believe. (claps)

ASHLEY: My ears are going crazy.

LIAM: Clap your hands. (clapping)

MATT: (grunts) Okay, all righty. Shit. I point over towards what's happening over here.

AABRIA: Orym, what are you doing?

MATT: Shield up. I'm short, but shield up over Opal trying to push back against this woman.

ASHLEY: I start booking it towards them both.

AABRIA: All right. You guys are on the ground running and you hear it, too. And then around the corner, erupting from that lower, broken miasma below you where the platforms were, you actually see that last stone construct, a little bit shattered, a little bit broken, falling apart actively, is sprinting across and headed straight for Mister.

ASHLEY: Oh. Okay, um. Mister, come here, come to Mama really quick. Real fast, come on.

AABRIA: He immediately starts sprinting for you.

ASHLEY: Okay. How close is the construct to him?

AABRIA: The way this is working out, Mister is going to reach the three of you at the same time this construct meets the three of you.

ASHLEY: Okay, we--

MATT: Finish the job?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

AABRIA: You don't have time to talk. I need all three of you to make a dexterity saving throw.

MATT: All right, checks out.

ASHLEY: Okay.

ROBBIE: Ooh.

ASHLEY: Ooh!

MATT: 16.

AABRIA: Okay.

ROBBIE: 15.

AABRIA: All right.

ASHLEY: Dirty 20.

MATT: Ooh!

AABRIA: Goodness! Yeah, as Mister gets to you all, you're able to see as the construct comes forward, arms stretched and tries to break the ground under you and you're able to roll away. So the three of you are facing off against this one other one.

ASHLEY: Okay. Would my staff still be activated?

AABRIA: Did you grab snakes with you? You just had some loose snakes?

ASHLEY: Just some loosey-goosies, you know, flopping around.

AABRIA: Yeah, you just have loose snakes in your hand as you were flying down.

MATT: Dariax was like: (screams) (laughter)

AABRIA: Truth over wild, y'all.

ASHLEY: Okay, let me think of something else here. We have options here, guys, we have options.

AABRIA: Okay, I'm going to let you think about it, form a plan between the three of you and we'll cut back to Opal and Orym. Well, thanks for dividing based on letters. That is helpful, I appreciate that a lot.

AIMEE: Inspiration?

AABRIA: Yeah, you know what? All of you have a round of inspiration going into the finale. (cheering)

AIMEE: Okay, so can you paint a picture? So I'm pinned to the ground. One of my hands she's pinning.

AABRIA: Yep.

AIMEE: And he is on top of Opal?

AABRIA: Yeah, he's interposing himself between.

LIAM: Getting my shield in her face.

AABRIA: Yeah.

AIMEE: In Myr'atta's face?

LIAM: Yeah.

AIMEE: Do you have your other hand available?

LIAM: Oh, it's got a sword in it.

AIMEE: Oh, okay, never mind. Okay, I mean, I want to use my other hand.

AABRIA: Okay, what do you want to try to do?

AIMEE: I want to stick my fucking hand in my pocket.

AABRIA: You're just trying for the pocket again?

AIMEE: Yeah, because there's a ring in the pocket, and I want to put the ring on and see if it happens.

AABRIA: Okay. Go ahead and make an athletics check for me.

AIMEE: Oh, come on, dice.

AABRIA: With disadvantage because I said it's very heavy out today.

AIMEE: I know, I know, it's heavy.

MATT: It's very heavy out today. I love that.

LIAM: And that's a mood for the last year.

MATT: Yeah, no joke.

AIMEE: Okay, so that's going to be-- Oh, that's a minus one. That's going to be a 13.

AABRIA: Okay, you know what? I'm going to say your passive perception is high enough that you see what's happening here, and you can absolutely move your shield a bit to give her some cover.

LIAM: Sure, I could-- Oh, you mean opposing her view?

AABRIA: Yeah.

LIAM: Yeah.

AABRIA: You're obscuring enough of Myr'atta's view that she's going to let this happen. Okay, so what do you grab from your pocket?

AIMEE: So while I'm pinned down I would like go across to my other pocket and I feel for the ring that I stole from one of Myr'atta's assassins that made him invisible. I don't know if that's the thing that made him invisible, but I put it on and as I put it on I try to locate Ted somehow without saying anything to see if she's around.

AABRIA: I'm going to make you make a choice here.

AIMEE: Okay.

AABRIA: Do you care more about finding Ted or equipping this ring?

AIMEE: Finding Ted.

AABRIA: Okay, so you're fishing in your pocket. What are you doing to try to reach out to Ted?

AIMEE: I'm literally just seeing-- in my mind calling out for her to see if she'll answer me.

AABRIA: Okay. Make a charis-- I'm going to call this a charisma saving throw. You're not saving against a bad effect. I just want this to be based heavily in your spellcaster ability.

AIMEE: That's a 13.

AABRIA: Okay. You reach out and call and you feel Ted standing there. You can hear her yelling back at you. She is screaming, but she's awake, she's up. She sees through your eyes everything that's happening right now and she is--

AIMEE: But I sense she's injured.

AABRIA: Way more freaked out about this than you are, oh yeah.

AIMEE: For me or for herself?

AABRIA: With a 13, you're not sure.

AIMEE: Okay.

AABRIA: I'm going to go from you to you. Orym, what do you want to do?

LIAM: I'm going to scream out over my shoulder: Myr'atta didn't come alone! And I'm going to then push back with the shield and then slash at her arm.

AABRIA: Amazing, okay. Go ahead and make an attack roll.

LIAM: Okay.

AABRIA: Against my girl. This is hurtful.

LIAM: Not too good. That is a 14 to hit.

AABRIA: No. You slash out and you see that your sword gets lost in the billows of her fabric and never quite makes purchase. Even though there's something visually, you can see her physicality. You know that should have hit something, but it seems to have gotten lost within the folds of her robe. And she takes a step back and looks over her shoulder and says, "All right, fine. If we're just going to do this then we're going to do this." So I need all of you to roll initiative.

MATT: Okay.

ROBBIE: Ooh, some shit.

AABRIA: It's time.

AIMEE: Oh, shit. Yeah, sorry, I'm going to roll it again. I just wanted to see which dice was going to be the best. Well, that was good.

AABRIA: So you just rolled 13 dice to get-- I'm sure an initiative has popped up in there somewhere. All right, 25 to 20.

MATT: 22, rolled a natural 20.

AIMEE: Hey!

AABRIA: What?!

MATT: I get them every now and then.

ROBBIE: 21 for me.

MATT: Yeah!

AABRIA: Oh my god.

MATT: Team Double D.

AABRIA: Please stop being the same name next to each other.

ROBBIE: Never!

AIMEE: D, D, D, D!

AABRIA: Very hurtful. You want to get skipped? (laughs) This is how you get skipped.

MATT: You're the uppercase, I'm the lowercase.

ASHLEY: Okay, so we got--

AABRIA: Oh, I should do lowercase. Yeah, that's smart.

MATT: (laughs)

AABRIA: Look at that, guys. Learning is a lifelong process.

MATT: (laughs)

AABRIA: Dorian, that was a 21?

ROBBIE: Mm-hmm.

AABRIA: Cool, cool, cool.

ROBBIE: 18 and three.

AABRIA: All right. 19 to 15.

AIMEE: 19.

AABRIA: Amazing!

LIAM: 18.

AABRIA: Oh my god. Oh, hold on. My guys rolled really, really badly, so this is going to be very fun. Myr'atta with an 18. 14 to 10.

ASHLEY: 12.

AABRIA: Okay.

LIAM: ♪ Bum ba-bum bum bum ♪

ASHLEY: Oh boy. I have some ideas, but that could change by the time everybody--

AIMEE: Use them all, use them all!

ROBBIE: My heart rate is up, got us rolling initiative--

ASHLEY: Me too, me too, me too, me too.

ROBBIE: -- every time.

AABRIA: Is that everyone? That's everyone, yeah.

ASHLEY: Yes.

AABRIA: Okay.

AIMEE: It might be this coffee, or--

MATT: (laughs)

AIMEE: Here's to our death.

AABRIA: Hope you guys ask these people's names because I wrote them. All right, Dariax, you're up first.

MATT: All right, so hearing what Orym says over there and glancing back in that direction, do I see the other two figures that he's pointed out or I just see the one?

AABRIA: Go ahead and give me a perception check with advantage because you were pointed in the right direction.

MATT: All righty. That's a 14.

AABRIA: Yeah, you spot them as they're moving through and the light is beginning to hit them. You see a taller figure, male, a caster, and a shorter figure, female, holding a crossbow.

MATT: All righty, all righty. I'm going to say-- and how far away is Orym from me at the moment?

AABRIA: About 25 feet.

MATT: 25 feet? All right, well, let's go ahead and finish this guy off and catch up with them. I'm going to go ahead and, since Bless has dropped in that interim, I'm going to go ahead and cast Bless again.

AIMEE: Yes!

MATT: And I'm going to go ahead and put that on Orym, Dorian, and Fearne.

AABRIA: Make an arcana check for me.

LIAM: Yaas.

AIMEE: No Opal?

MATT: Nah, sorry.

AIMEE: Opal's not blessed? Oh no, I'm going to die for sure!

MATT: Opal's magically pinned to the ground! They're more useful at the moment.

AIMEE: That's true, that's true.

AABRIA: Fair.

MATT: That is BS and seven.

AABRIA: Yeah, okay.

MATT: Moving on.

AABRIA: Anyway, it was fine. I asked it for no particular reason.

MATT: Oh, fine.

AABRIA: Anything with your bonus action or movement?

MATT: No bonus action, but yeah, yeah, I'm going to go ahead and fly up about 50 or so feet to get an overall view and to get out of the mix to have better choices.

AABRIA: Okay.

MATT: If I still got the wings.

AABRIA: You've still got the wings.

MATT: All right.

AIMEE: Yeah, baby.

AABRIA: You are going to take an opportunity attack.

MATT: Sure, sure, eat that reaction!

AABRIA: All right, 19.

MATT: Yeah, that hits.

AABRIA: Tight.

ASHLEY: (laughs)

AABRIA: And you get backhanded. Why did I pick the darkest die? For five points of bludgeoning damage.

MATT: Ow.

AABRIA: Just swats you upward.

MATT: I deserved that!

AABRIA: Okay, Dorian, you're up.

ROBBIE: So we've got this trio at our flank and then coming from the other side is our rock construct?

AABRIA: The rock construct is right in front of you now.

ROBBIE: Oh, he's not sprinting anymore.

AABRIA: Yeah, he made it, he's here, he's here.

ROBBIE: He's done sprinting, shit.

AABRIA: He's here and backhanded Dariax.

ROBBIE: Fuck.

AABRIA: Yep.

ROBBIE: Are we engaged yet?

AABRIA: Yeah.

ROBBIE: We are engaged.

AABRIA: Yeah.

MATT: I do still maintain my concentration from the hit, by the way.

AABRIA: Smart, thank you. ♪ Things I meant to ask and I remembered ♪ Oh, that's right, I need to knock the Bless off of you. Noted.

MATT: (laughs)

AIMEE: God, that sounds very aggressive.

AABRIA: The Bless was very useful last time. I will not let that stand twice.

ASHLEY: It was very useful.

MATT: I, having been on that side, respect it.

AABRIA: Yeah.

ROBBIE: Now that he's flown away--

AABRIA: This spellcaster's smart and she sees you.

ROBBIE: Could I still do my 15-foot cube without hitting anybody? If I were to put myself at the edge of the cube could I cast Thunderwave?

AABRIA: I'm 100% fine with that, yeah.

ROBBIE: Okay.

AABRIA: You can absolutely find the angle.

ROBBIE: I'll make that cube go out that way. I'll find the angle, cool.

AABRIA: Yeah, for sure.

ROBBIE: Then I will cast Thunderwave.

AABRIA: Cool, cool, cool. I roll a 15 for the save.

ROBBIE: That saves for sure.

AABRIA: Okay.

ROBBIE: So half damage for 2d8.

AABRIA: Half damage.

ASHLEY: Yes.

ROBBIE: 10, five.

AABRIA: Okay, that's not bad.

MATT: Yeah.

ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah.

AABRIA: He's already pretty injured, so--

ASHLEY: Fell.

AABRIA: Yeah. What does it look like?

ROBBIE: Ooh, it's quick because everything that's going on is so quick and I pulled it off once before so I'm going to be protecting this side. I'm going to give him another of that power snap that comes down, but this time, instead of radiating out from me, it comes from above in the miasma among the broken-up pieces of the cube and just pops right in between us and pushes him.

ASHLEY: Cool.

AABRIA: You've got to make an arcana check for me with advantage.

ROBBIE: Okay. Ooh! 15.

LIAM: Advantage, add advantage.

ROBBIE: Oh, advantage, oh yeah, thank you.

AABRIA: Oh my god.

ROBBIE: Ah, better!

AABRIA: The metagaming pigeons are even out here.

ROBBIE: 18, dirty 20.

ALL: (cooing)

AABRIA: With a dirty 20, the moment you reach up into this arcane cloud, you feel almost as if it grabs you back, And I'm going to say it doesn't do half damage. It does full damage--

ROBBIE: Oh shit.

AABRIA: -- as you do that, as you reach into the ether and this power flows towards you and your desire to wreck shop.

ROBBIE: Sweet.

AABRIA: So I will double that damage. All right, beautiful.

ROBBIE: Sweet.

ASHLEY: Yes!

AABRIA: Passive perception's incredibly high. You see that even as Myr'atta dances away from you, her eyes flick over into Dorian's direction and she saw that and she smirks just a little bit and begins to look up. Okay.

LIAM: Okay.

AABRIA: All right, it's my bad boy's turn. He's going to attempt to hit you. He misses.

ASHLEY: Good boy.

AABRIA: As yeah, that Thunderwave knocks off. You see the seams at his shoulder, the thinnest points of him are beginning to crack. And as he goes and shifts to try to hit you again, his arm looks in danger of falling off. And he's going to attempt to make the grapple check again so please make a strength saving throw. You have to beat a 13.

MATT: Plus a d4.

AABRIA: Plus a d4!

ROBBIE: Don't think I'll need it. 18, yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: Oh yeah!

ROBBIE: But I appreciate it.

MATT: Hey.

ROBBIE: Thank you for blessing me.

MATT: That's what I'm here for.

AABRIA: And once again, my boys who have hugs for their primary thing that they do fail to do that. And they just dance away. All right, Opal, you're up.

AIMEE: Okay, so the first thing I want to do is I'm going to cast Hexblade's Curse on Myr'atta. And as an action, I'm going to try to unpin myself. Is that an action?

AABRIA: Yeah.

AIMEE: Okay, I'm going to try to do that.

AABRIA: Try to break this grapple.

AIMEE: Yeah.

AABRIA: ♪ Ba ba ba bum. ♪

AIMEE: All right.

AABRIA: So are you just trying to free your wrist?

AIMEE: No, I'm trying to free-- I guess, free the whole situation.

AABRIA: What are you doing to try to--

AIMEE: I would like to move, ma'am.

AABRIA: How are you trying to move? I am asking an intelligence question here of either your character or you.

AIMEE: Well, the only place she has me pinned is my--

AABRIA: Okay, just a little refresher--

AIMEE: Where's she making contact?

AABRIA: -- because it's been--

AIMEE: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been a while, it's been a while.

AABRIA: It's been two weeks since we've been in this game.

AIMEE: Yeah.

AABRIA: You know that she's stepping on your wrist, but the reason you're pinned to the ground is that those needles of residuum have slammed you down on the ground, so the points of gravity are actually in your shoulders and your head right now.

AIMEE: Yeah, so I'd like to get rid of those, and I don't know how.

AABRIA: What do you want to do?

AIMEE: Well, I mean--

AABRIA: What are you attempting? Talk to me.

AIMEE: My first thought is to try to break them off.

AABRIA: This is going to sound very condescending, but thank you for finally interacting with the needles.

AIMEE: Yes. Well, we didn't have time before. We were in battle.

ASHLEY: There was a lot going on.

AIMEE: There was a lot going on.

AABRIA: All right, all right.

AIMEE: I would like to use my unpinned hand, whichever one is free to try to break them. I think there's one here, one here, and one here?

AABRIA: Yep.

AIMEE: Yeah, I'd like to break them off.

AABRIA: Okay, so once again, your hand is in your pocket right now so do you care more about putting on the ring or trying to interact with your free hands with these needles? Action economy, what do you want to do?

AIMEE: Well, because I'm stupid--

AABRIA: You're trying to have it all.

AIMEE: Because I'm stupid I'ma put the ring on.

AABRIA: Okay.

ASHLEY: Good call.

AABRIA: The ring slips on. Make an arcana check for me.

AIMEE: I mean, you guys. Is this entertaining?

AABRIA: I love it!

ROBBIE and ASHLEY: Yes!

AIMEE: I hope so.

MATT: We're loving it.

LIAM: Always make the bold choice.

AIMEE: My lucky fucking number this game, a 14.

AABRIA: Well, it was a 13 before, so you're good.

AIMEE: Oh, that's true. I do have a plus one on arcana.

AABRIA: No, you're good. The moment you slip your finger onto it, you have this sort of sense of how the ring works. It literally is like, as you disengage it from your finger, you're taking off the spell, and it's not just Invisibility, it's Greater Invisibility.

AIMEE: Okay.

AABRIA: Which allows you to cast spells while you're within it.

AIMEE: (laughs mockingly) Okay, so I'm going to put that on.

AABRIA: Yep, and you screw it back on.

AIMEE: Going to screw it back on.

AABRIA: Cast a spell. You disappear from view. Orym, she disappears.

AIMEE: Disappear and because I have already used my bonus action and my action, can I move now that I'm invisible, or am I still pinned?

AABRIA: You're still pinned down.

AIMEE: Okay, so what are my options? What can I do right now? Nothing? Pray?

AABRIA: You can just think about what you want to do.

AIMEE: Great, okay. And yep, okay, well, I'm just quietly in my mind going to try to keep connecting to Ted.

AABRIA: Love it. I mean, you have her.

AIMEE: I know, but tell me more!

AABRIA: You're just getting-- (Ted screams)

AIMEE: Tell me more! Stop yelling!

AABRIA: She's here!

AIMEE: Use your words, bitch!

AABRIA: "Don't call me bitch. I'm having a day!"

MATT: All you hear is screaming from the sky above you: Oh my god, they disintegrated Opal! (laughter)

AABRIA: Okay.

AIMEE: Okay.

AABRIA: So Myr'atta looks under her foot. She still feels your wrist under her shoe and gives a little smirk like, "Oh, you kept it. Sure, a present. I'll reclaim it soon enough." And she reaches up, and she's a villain, so she loves a good monologue. "I know the two of you can hear me, and I've burned so much energy, strength, resources just to get here and now. But you've given me such a delicious opportunity. How could I say no?" And lightning begins to shoot out of her hands. And that blue miasma beings to turn purple. And Dariax--

MATT: Yeah.

AABRIA: You see from your height that there is a sigil beginning to form. Dark runes, extremely complicated, a lot like the ones that you saw at the ash hole beginning to form at the center of that circular plinth under the shattered cube. And she goes, "Oh, oh, this will be fun. I love this for us." And she pulls down her arm, and that purple energy shoots up and out and everywhere. And I need everyone to make a wisdom saving throw.

MATT: Oh.

ROBBIE: Hmm.

ASHLEY: (groans) Nine.

AABRIA: Nine.

LIAM: 21.

ROBBIE: Five.

AABRIA: Ooh.

MATT: 14.

AABRIA: Okay.

AIMEE: Guess! 13. (cheering)

AABRIA: Do your dice know that there's other numbers?

AIMEE: I know, I need to switch them up.

AABRIA: Vibes.

AIMEE: She's fired.

AABRIA: Just Fearne and Dorian, you both get disoriented for a little bit. There'll be a mechanical disadvantage to the next action you take that involves a d20. But when your eyes sort of clear, you hear this sound of breaking and tearing and changing and the churning of the earth. You look out and see that the jungle in a mile and a half in every direction has been flattened and this entire place has been leveled.

LIAM: Oh no.

AIMEE: Oh no!

ASHLEY: Oh no!

LIAM: What did you do?

AABRIA: Oh god, do this carefully. It's stuck on a tree, oh no.

ROBBIE: We couldn't talk for a minute, Orym, say hey?

AABRIA: Talk amongst yourselves, I'll give you a topic.

AIMEE: Talk amongst yourselves.

AABRIA: We're all going to die in a second.

ROBBIE: Oh no!

AIMEE: Whoa, that's a ruin.

ASHLEY: Ooh.

AABRIA: It's a ruined ruin.

LIAM: You ruined it.

AIMEE: I ruined a ruined.

AABRIA: R-O-O-N-T, it's roont. (laughter)

ROBBIE: Ruined rune rune?

ASHLEY: Roont.

AIMEE: Ooh, that's pretty.

AABRIA: Let's get you guys out on the field. I'm going to say you're off here in the corner, boop. My sweet baby girl who's never done anything wrong, Myr'atta, hanging out over here. Orym's here, too.

ROBBIE: Oof.

MATT: All righty.

AABRIA: Okay, put them in this easily. I'm going to throw you guys over here. Dariax, you're high in the sky. Oh, I should have grabbed the thing. I gave you the ability to fly and didn't bring the tall stuff out. All right, I'll put you over there.

MATT: That's fine.

AABRIA: And we'll use our imaginations.

MATT: ♪ Imagination. ♪

AABRIA: We love imagination. And my big, cool thick boy.

MATT: I heard "cool fuckboy".

AABRIA: Yeah, a very cool fuckboy.

MATT: Get it.

ROBBIE: Oh yeah. That's an oxymoron for sure.

MATT: Yeah, no joke.

AIMEE: Does my Hexblade's Curse only curse her when I interact with her?

AABRIA: Yes.

AIMEE: Or when anybody-- okay.

AABRIA: I mean, read the spell, or read it to double-check, but I'm pretty sure that's how that works.

AIMEE: Yeah, yeah, I think it's just her.

AABRIA: Cool, cool, cool. And my other two friends that are back here and just walking up and in to hang out. Okay, we're here, we're doing it. And next up is Orym.

LIAM: (sighs) Well, I'm going to do my thing and roll under her legs and pop up behind her directly opposite from Opal and he pulls back his sword and looks and is going to try to be more carefully planting in the small of her back.

AABRIA: Okay.

ROBBIE: Jesus.

LIAM: And that is a 25 to hit.

ROBBIE: Whoa!

AABRIA: Oh my god.

AIMEE: (laughs) Hey!

AABRIA: Yeah, that hits.

AIMEE: That's my little Nancy! (laughter)

MATT: Get it, Nancy!

LIAM: Let's reincorporate it. That is just a five. Five to hit. Oh wait, oh, no, it's not to damage. Oh, it was actually a 28 to hit.

AABRIA: Yeah, okay, it hit more than it did before.

LIAM: Yeah, five points of damage.

MATT: And a d4.

LIAM: Oh, to the damage, too?

MATT: No, to the hit.

LIAM: Yeah, that was to the hit. That was that roll.

MATT: Okay.

AABRIA: Amazing, anything else?

LIAM: (babbles) Six plus four, yeah, rolled really well. No, that is, (sighs) yeah, that's it, that's it.

AABRIA: Orym, make just a wisdom check for me.

LIAM: Oh, that's real bad. A wisdom check so add my modifier--

AABRIA: I'll let it be a saving throw. You can add--

LIAM: Four, same, four.

AABRIA: Okay, never mind then, you're good. You feel a little tapped out.

LIAM: Okay.

AABRIA: Anything else you want to do?

LIAM: No, no, I'm just going to leave it at that.

AABRIA: Do you want to do something?

LIAM: No, I want to stay right here with Opal, so that's it.

AABRIA: Okay, all right. My sweet girl, her name is Ula. She looks at you. She's going to get a shot off on you and then disappear. Oh god, 16 doesn't hit you, does it?

LIAM: Does not.

AIMEE: Yeah!

AABRIA: Okay.

LIAM: (whoosh, clank)

AABRIA: Yeah, you just knock it away and then she disappears from view.

MATT: Shit!

AIMEE: Myr'atta does?

AABRIA: No, the archer, the little crossbow archer.

LIAM: Sneaky sneak crossbow.

MATT: Crossbow B.

ROBBIE: So we have an invisible ranged person somewhere on the battlefield?

AABRIA: No, she's not invisible. She appears here.

ROBBIE: Oh, okay.

LIAM: She's popping out of a hole like a gopher.

AABRIA: Yep.

ROBBIE: Got it.

AABRIA: And appears across and is actually still a little bit lower than you are, but has that same looking out and getting a full view of everything.

MATT: Got it. Oh, and also, before I forget, you also get to add d4 to saving throws while you're blessed, too.

AABRIA: Oh, that's right.

ASHLEY: Oh, that's right.

LIAM: So my wisdom was-- that was a five.

AIMEE: (laughs) Damn it.

AABRIA: Well, with a five-- no. Okay, Fearne, you're up.

ASHLEY: Okay. Let me pull this up real quick. So. Mister, it's time to throw some shit. So I'm going to pull up his tail.

AABRIA: (monkey scream)

ASHLEY: I'm going to pull up his tail and I'm going to have him shoot some flaming seeds at...

LIAM: (rifle reloading) (laughter)

ASHLEY: At construct. (impacts)

AABRIA: Wielding your son like a gun. Point of fact, has he switched into his wildfire spirit mode?

ASHLEY: Oh, shit.

AABRIA: Action economy.

ASHLEY: Okay, correct. Wildfire spirit mode.

AABRIA: There we go, he flares up. Make an arcana check for me.

ASHLEY: Okay. Ooh, okay, dirty 20.

AABRIA: He is much, much bigger. He reminds you of the fire elemental that he was when you had to calm him down when you were on top of the ash hole. I've got to stop calling it that.

ROBBIE: Do you?

MATT: No, there's no other way to say it.

AABRIA: It's its word now.

ROBBIE: Branded.

AABRIA: Yeah. So he's bigger and stands of a height with you and then slowly turns around, assumes the position. All right, who do you want to shoot? Who are you shooting at?

ASHLEY: Okay, the construct.

AABRIA: Yeah, okay, go ahead.

ASHLEY: Let's get him out of the way.

LIAM: He's a rail gun or a howitzer now.

MATT: Yeah, I was going to say. (laughter)

LIAM: Take the tail. (gun firing)

AABRIA: It's a scatling gun, if you will. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Yes.

ROBBIE: Can we give you inspiration?

LIAM: Inspiration to the DM.

MATT: No, don't do that!

AABRIA: I would love it, thanks!

ASHLEY: Roll the Bless. Okay, 16.

AABRIA: Hold on. Is Mister blessed?

MATT: No, Mister is not blessed.

ASHLEY: Oh!

MATT: Sorry.

ASHLEY: Okay, so that was a--

AIMEE: Just me and Mister.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

AIMEE: Unblessed.

MATT: I don't have a lot of spell slots, I'm sorry!

AIMEE: #Unblessed.

ASHLEY: 13.

AABRIA: A 13's going to hit the construct.

ASHLEY: Great, okay.

AABRIA: This bad boy is pretty broken and damaged.

ASHLEY: Okay, great, so--

ROBBIE: Please kill this guy with the poop.

AABRIA: Kill him with the poops.

ROBBIE: Kill him with the poo-poo.

ASHLEY: ♪ Kill him with the hoops. ♪

LIAM: Say hello to my little friend.

AIMEE: ♪ Oh no, kill him with the poops ♪

AABRIA: Amazing.

ASHLEY: Okay. Five points of damage.

MATT: Nice.

AIMEE: Hey.

AABRIA: Where were you aiming Mister's butthole?

ASHLEY: I was trying to aim the hole in the trajectory, also taking in range--

AABRIA: Yeah, yeah.

ASHLEY: -- and motion. 'Cause math.

AABRIA: Arc is important, yes.

MATT: Wind speed and direction.

ASHLEY: Wind speed, direction.

ROBBIE: Don't forget about velocity.

ASHLEY: Velocity, thinking about all of that.

AABRIA: Yeah, uh-huh.

LIAM: Thank you, Angry Birds.

ASHLEY: And trying to (splatting) right in the eye.

AABRIA: Ah, there you go, you remembered that.

ASHLEY: Crystal.

AABRIA: Perfect. Beautiful. Yeah, it hits in the eye and it hits and burns like napalm and you see it sizzling into the crack of this thing's blue-- actually, shifting more towards purple-- gem. And he staggers back, still up, but looking incredibly bad.

LIAM: Fecal damage.

AABRIA: Fecal damage. All right, that's your bonus action, so what do you want to do with your action?

ASHLEY: How close am I to him?

AABRIA: ♪ Right next to him. ♪

ASHLEY: Okay.

AIMEE: I've rolled a 13 four times.

MATT: That's ridiculous.

ASHLEY: ♪ Hot pockets ♪

AABRIA: ♪ Hot pocket ♪?

ROBBIE: I never thought I'd be this invested in flaming shit before.

AABRIA: It's actually pretty overpowered.

AIMEE: I want to see the fan art on that.

AABRIA: Oh, poo.

ASHLEY: Okay, you know what? I'm going to try--

MATT: Just having a shit, he's pretty overpowered.

AABRIA: Yeah. (laughs)

ASHLEY: I'm going to try a-- I'm going to take out my Moon Sickle.

AABRIA: Let's go!

ASHLEY: And I'm going to try to just take a nice swing.

AABRIA: Let's go.

ASHLEY: Okay. All right. Come on, friend, let's do this. Okay, 15.

AABRIA: Hits.

ASHLEY: Great.

AABRIA: I was going to remind you of bless, but it hits.

ASHLEY: Okay. That is a 1d4. Okay, let me just look at this really quickly. (humming) Okay, so four points total.

AABRIA: Oh my god.

ASHLEY: This is so close. (laughs)

AABRIA: Honestly, you get in there and you actually cleave three quarters of the crystal away. It cracks and shatters and falls out and you see that just a little sliver sits in that socket.

ASHLEY: Oh, come on!

AABRIA: And that's enough to keep it animated.

MATT: Ugh, so close.

AIMEE: God.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, that's fine.

AABRIA: Do you want to do anything with your movement, anything else?

ASHLEY: No, I'm going to stay there.

AABRIA: Okay.

ASHLEY: I'm going to stay there. I'll stay.

AIMEE: (deep voice) I'll stay.

ASHLEY: I'm going to stay, I'm going to stay.

AABRIA: Beautiful. Okay, my last little bad boy in the corner-- What's my biggest threat right now? Yeah, he's going to see you. Fiery, winged in the sky.

MATT: (laughs) What, I'm like a target or something? What are you talking about?

AABRIA: He's going to aim a Fire Bolt at you.

MATT: What?

AABRIA: But he's not going to do it. A natural one's not going to do it.

AIMEE: Yes!

LIAM: (whooshing sounds)

AABRIA: And I think the Fire Bolts, these little motes of light go up and they hit you in the wings and the wings just sort of absorb them and glow brighter for it. He was trying to knock you out of the sky and it did nothing.

MATT: What now? I'm so into this moment.

AABRIA: He swears in Elvish and moves on with his day.

MATT: I swear back in Dwarvish.

AABRIA: What do you say?

MATT: Yeah, Dwarvish. I'm like, he knows Dwarvish, right? I have to be sure.

ROBBIE: He would be the one dwarf that doesn't know Dwarvish.

MATT: I know, I know.

AABRIA: Okay.

MATT: (speaking in foreign language)

AIMEE: Yeah.

AABRIA: "What did you call me?"

MATT: Nothing.

AABRIA: Okay, I need everyone but Dariax to make a dexterity saving-- No, I'll call it strength or dex to keep your footing as the ground below you begins to rumble. Myr'atta's hand is out, her eyes are aglow, and she is focused on the center--

AIMEE: You said-- What did-- sorry.

AABRIA: Strength or dexterity. Thanks for cutting me off during my cool description.

AIMEE: I'm sorry!

AABRIA: No, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine. It's fine. Did anyone roll below a 14?

ASHLEY: I rolled 14.

AABRIA: Meets it, beats it.

ASHLEY: Okay.

AIMEE: 14.

AABRIA: Good job, you broke your 13 curse!

AIMEE: I mean, not by much.

MATT: (chuckles)

AABRIA: Then let's begin the fun.

LIAM: What's that?

MATT: What?

AIMEE: What-- why, oh!

LIAM: What's that?

ROBBIE: That looks scary.

ASHLEY: Whoa, whoa, whoa!

ROBBIE: I don't like it.

AIMEE: Oh, oh, it's ugly.

AABRIA: The ground erupts.

AIMEE: Oh no!

MATT: What?

AIMEE: No.

ASHLEY: Oh no!

AIMEE: Is this when I'm discovering that I have a yam phobia or something? (laughter) They all look like weird yams.

AABRIA: It's more like a sweet pota-nope.

AIMEE: Yeah, sweet pota-- (gags).

AABRIA: As these massive pseudopods of dirt and earth and old ruins hidden under the ground being held together by that miasma from both above and below reach up, starting to build something strange. Opal, I need you to make a charisma saving throw.

MATT: That's so cool.

LIAM: What's going on?

MATT: Old magic.

AIMEE: 13. 13.

AABRIA: You hear the screaming stop.

AIMEE: Ted?

AABRIA: Yeah, it's no longer inside you. And you hear it from farther away and your eyes travel to the center of the plinth.

AIMEE: To the center of what?

AABRIA: Of the plinth. It's broken.

AIMEE: And I see her?

AABRIA: You see yuckiness.

AIMEE: Okay.

AABRIA: Mm-hmm.

ASHLEY: Oh boy.

AABRIA: All right, Dariax, you're up. Dorian, you're on deck. This is fine, I'm going to kill you all.

MATT: Noted.

ASHLEY: (chuckles)

MATT: So from above, can I still see where this Myr'atta individual is?

AABRIA: Yeah, and I'm going to say you're floating at the top of the pseudopod's height.

MATT: Yeah, like: Ah! Tickle my feet and I'm kicking him off.

AABRIA: A hundred percent.

MATT: Just get away!

AABRIA: Yeah, I'll throw you up there. So yeah, yes to your question.

MATT: All right, all right. Do I still feel that gravity-shifting light or heavy choice?

AABRIA: You do.

MATT: All right, I'm going to go--

AABRIA: I'll put you here.

MATT: All right, I'm going to think I'm real heavy and I'm going to go ahead and with the wings up go into another drive straight towards Myr'atta, spear out just like. (groans)

AABRIA: Oh!

ROBBIE: Let's go.

AABRIA: Amazing.

AIMEE: Take care of that bitch.

MATT: That's the plan.

AABRIA: Make an attack roll.

MATT: I will. I'm going to use my inspiration.

AABRIA: Smart, smart.

MATT: Much better. That'd be a 14.

AABRIA: A 14, you drive through and you feel your spear as it sort of finds purchase at the center of her and then you feel give, too much give and she disappears.

AIMEE: (sighs)

LIAM: Not here!

MATT: Shit!

AABRIA: Disappears from view. Do you pull back up again?

MATT: I pull back up if I can.

AABRIA: You're going to be--

MATT: New wings.

AABRIA: Yeah, I'm going to say you're not quite in melee range. And not a caster so she's like, "Uh, get away." They'll swat ineffectually at you as you pull back up again. Opal, you no longer feel any pressure on your wrist.

AIMEE: Okay.

AABRIA: You just have that heaviness on top of you.

ASHLEY: That's good.

AIMEE: Yeah.

MATT: That's my turn.

AABRIA: Okay, Dorian.

ROBBIE: I'm still face to face with our construct?

AABRIA: Yep.

ROBBIE: And he looks fucked up?

AABRIA: Yep, so fucked up.

ROBBIE: All right, cool. I think it's still attached. I'm going to pull out my scimitar and take a swing at him, yeah.

AABRIA: Okay.

ROBBIE: Cool.

AABRIA: Do it.

ASHLEY: Get him.

AABRIA: Get him.

ROBBIE: Ooh. 17.

AABRIA: 17 hits.

ASHLEY: Yeah!

ROBBIE: Cool.

AABRIA: You do not have to roll the damage on this because I know how dice work. Just describe how you finish destroying him.

MATT: Yeah!

AIMEE: Yeah, baby!

ROBBIE: So he pulls out his scimitar and he sees that little shimmering piece left in his eye socket and maybe with just a little too much flair he does a couple of swings around and instead of slashing, which you would expect with a scimitar, he just takes the tip and sticks it right under the eyelid and the last little piece of eye just goes tink and he flips it in the air.

ASHLEY: Yes!

AABRIA: Amazing, and your eyes follow that little shard as it darkens and goes inert. And you just hear, you don't even see it, as this construct collapses in on itself and reduces itself to rubble in front of you. Nicely done.

MATT: Hell yeah.

LIAM: I see you have been studying your Agrippa. (laughter)

ROBBIE: I'm doing it left handed. (laughter) So he's murder dad now.

AABRIA: He's murder dad.

ROBBIE: Ugh, I'm going to use-- You're not in the sky anymore, you just--

AABRIA: I pulled up a little bit. I don't know how much more movement I would have had from there. Not much probably, right?

AABRIA: I forgot where I put you.

MATT: You said it was a--

AIMEE: Where is he?

AABRIA: I'll say that you're probably about 15 feet over.

MATT: That sounds about right with a 90-foot speed.

AABRIA: Yeah, you did a pretty big dive bomb.

MATT: Yeah, about 15 feet up in the air right around where you guys are, or a little bit past you.

ROBBIE: Okay, I'll use my-- I'll use my winged boots to cover the rest of that distance and sort of hover up next to Dariax for my movement.

AABRIA: Perfect. We'll use imagination 'cause I forgot to grab the things.

ROBBIE: Oh, yeah. (laughs) And then you didn't cast Bless on yourself, right? You can't do that?

MATT: No, no. I mean, I could, but I had other focuses.

ROBBIE: All right, I'll tap on the shoulder and be like: Nice try, buddy. And I'll give you my bardic inspiration for my bonus action.

AABRIA: Aw.

MATT: Oh, I appreciate that, bud. Thanks for coming to my aid.

AABRIA: Cool. Y'all are cute as hell.

MATT: Inspiration.

AABRIA: Okay, Opal, you're up. Actually, no, interrupting.

AIMEE: Yeah, I think you're-- or did he die?

AABRIA: Oh yeah, Buddy's dead.

AIMEE: Oh, Buddy's dead.

AABRIA: But I've got legendary actions.

MATT: No!

AABRIA: Yeah, you can't even make a save against this because you're still stuck.

AIMEE: No.

AABRIA: Two more of those little needles land just in the center of your thighs. You feel that tether again and you follow it. I'm not going to make you roll for it. You follow it and you feel it tethering you to this, whatever this is.

AIMEE: So it wants me to go there.

AABRIA: It's a stronger connection between you and whatever this is.

AIMEE: Okay. Is it my turn?

AABRIA: Yes, it is.

AIMEE: Okay, can I-- Is this tether broken by Misty Step?

AABRIA: The tether won't be broken by a Misty Step, but I'll allow that you can move.

AIMEE: I can move?

AABRIA: Mm-hmm.

AIMEE: Okay, again, stupid.

AABRIA: It's not stupid.

AIMEE: I think Opal is now just focused on Ted.

AABRIA: Do you have spell slots?

AIMEE: No, but that's a bonus action.

AABRIA: Mm-hmm, but it's a spell.

AIMEE: Oh, I don't have spell slots, so I can't use it. Okay, well then, I'll just use-- If I dash, is that twice my movement?

AABRIA: You'd need to get up first.

AIMEE: Okay, can I get up?

AABRIA: So I would say yeah, let's use your action to try to get up, make an athletics check for me.

AIMEE: Try to get up. If it's a 14, I'm going to fucking piss my pants.

AABRIA: If it's a 14, I will scream laughing.

AIMEE: You said athletics?

AABRIA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: No. No.

AIMEE: It's an 11, but I'm pissed off about it. I wish it'd been a 13.

AABRIA: Is there anything you want to do about it?

AIMEE: I do have inspiration. Well, what else can I do?

AABRIA: Mostly that. I'm just trying not to be like, "Roll again." It doesn't stack, so I can't give you more.

AIMEE: Fucking worse. It's worse, so yeah.

AABRIA: Okay.

LIAM: What do you mean? You add that to what you had.

AIMEE: Oh, I add it?

LIAM: Yeah.

AIMEE: I thought it was just--

ASHLEY: A reroll?

MATT: It wasn't bardic inspiration. That's the inspiration that's just the reroll ability.

LIAM: Oh, it's a reroll?

AABRIA: Yeah, it's just a reroll. I thought you were being cheeky. That was very funny. Yeah.

LIAM: My bad, my bad.

AIMEE: (stage sob) Yeah, no, so I'll keep the 12 or what did I say, 11?

AABRIA: How badly do you want to stand up right now?

AABRIA: Very badly. Very badly.

AABRIA: The most badly?

AIMEE: The most badly.

AABRIA: Make a charisma saving throw for me.

AIMEE: Am I adding something different in a saving throw?

AABRIA: Yeah.

AIMEE: Other than the points?

AABRIA: Your saves are in the upper left corner.

AIMEE: Upper left, upper left, upper left, left, left.

AABRIA: It should be much higher.

AIMEE: Oh yeah. Well, fucking finally. Okay, so that's a... 23.

AABRIA: Yes. With a 23, you are running on fumes. You don't know what's happening. You feel something beginning to be torn away from you and you reach out, you reach out for your sister. But what grabs your hand isn't your sister. It's not even a hand. You feel a little leg wrapping around and you hear a voice. (as the Spider Queen) "Oh, sweet girl. Are you out of options?"

AIMEE: Can I call out to someone?

AABRIA: "There's only you and me here right now, but I can help."

AIMEE: (yelling) Dariax! (laughter) (yelling) Dariax!

AABRIA: You are inside your head, you're just yelling it.

AIMEE: (bellowing) Dariax! (laughter)

AABRIA: You see a little spider leg clearing an ear. "Okay, is that out of your system now?"

AIMEE: What do you want? I know you want my sister, bitch. But you can't have her, so what else do you want?

AABRIA: "I don't want your sister."

AIMEE: Who do you want?

AABRIA: "I want you to wear my vestige."

AIMEE: Oh, it's you?

AABRIA: "Yes, the Spider Queen."

AIMEE: Okay. What do I get for wearing it, what do I get?

AABRIA: "Maybe the ability to be less fucking useless right now."

AIMEE: Okay, but what does that mean?

AABRIA: "You are very off-putting."

AIMEE: I know.

AABRIA: "I like that about you."

AIMEE: Great, what does it mean? Does it mean my sister gets to live?

AABRIA: "Oh. I can't interfere with what's happening there but I'll give you all your spell slots back. I'll give you all of your health back so that you can decide what happens here instead of being a victim. Again. All you have to do is go put on the circlet or you can wait here."

AIMEE: How do I do that? I need Dariax for that, right?

AABRIA: "Well, you've been yelling for him thus far."

AIMEE: So make him come here then, and see what happens.

AABRIA: "He doesn't like to listen to me."

AIMEE: Okay, so let me talk to him.

AABRIA: "Okay." And you feel that retreat from your mind.

AIMEE: Dariax!

MATT: Yeah?!

AIMEE: Can you come get me?!

MATT: Just a second! He's holding the spear back-to-back with Dorian. I'm like: I'm working on it, yeah!

AIMEE: Okay!

MATT: All right.

AIMEE: Where am I in relation to him? Just for my own knowledge.

AABRIA: He's about 15 feet over your head.

AIMEE: Over my head, okay, okay.

AABRIA: Him and Dorian are looking down at you right now.

AIMEE: Okay.

AABRIA: Can you attempt anything with your bonus action?

AIMEE: I can't. No, Misty Step is my only bonus action other than Hexblade's Curse.

AABRIA: Right, but you are out of spell slots, yes?

AIMEE: Mm-hmm.

AABRIA: Okay, cool, cool. All right, then that's the end of your turn.

AIMEE: Yep.

AABRIA: Myr'atta is up. She stays obscured from your vision. Also, you're yelling out, he doesn't see-- no one sees you, you're still invisible.

AIMEE: Yeah.

AABRIA: Just as a reminder.

AIMEE: Cool.

AABRIA: And you hear a voice from near wherever this pile of pseudopods is and it laughs and goes "Oh, it's already beginning. Good. What a fine patron she'll be." And she's going to turn, you don't see anything, but you see bolts of dark black and purple arcane energy, Eldritch Blasts aimed for both of my flyers.

MATT: Oh, great.

AABRIA: Does a 17 hit?

ROBBIE: Absolutely.

AABRIA: Okay. And does a 15 hit you?

MATT: It just hits me.

AABRIA: Okay, cool. ♪ I love this ♪ Okay, you're going to take five points of force damage and you take seven points of force damage.

MATT: Oh, oof.

AABRIA: All right. And Myr'atta remains hidden from view and that's the end of her turn. Orym, you're up.

LIAM: Okay, so in two seconds, Orym whips his head around, looks, he just heard Opal screaming somewhere. Doesn't see Myr'atta anymore, and there's a ton of mystical fuckery all around him that he can't help with. So he does see the elf with the crossbow on top of that column and he starts sprinting towards the stone ring.

AABRIA: I will remind you that there is also a magical elf right in front of you.

LIAM: Right in front of me?

AABRIA: 10 feet away from you. He's doing his best to not be perceived, but he's not hiding. He's just like--

LIAM: Yeah, but nobody's dealing with that shit up on the column. So I'm still sprinting towards the stone ring and as soon as he comes in contact with it, he's going to use his boots and leap and pinwheel his arms and legs through the air and try to latch onto the side of the column like a monkey and skitter up the side of it.

AABRIA: Amazing. Okay, as you go to attempt this, give me another wisdom saving throw.

LIAM: Natural 20.

AABRIA: How badly do you want this to happen?

LIAM: It's got to happen. It's the only thing I can do to help right now.

AABRIA: And you don't even realize that every step you take, the distance under your feet increases and increases and you don't feel like you're straining to the very edge of your ability. You don't have to roll anything else here as you manage to jump across, clearing this map, landing-- Oh, goodbye. As Dariax just dies. Landing, launching yourself off of that shattered plinth, landing on the column, ready to go. And you feel yourself internally, that wellspring is so much wider than it was before. You have all of your superiority dice and please take one additional maneuver as the road continues to stretch out and away far from you and you have a taste of the fighter that you could be someday.

ROBBIE: Fuck 'em up, Orym.

AABRIA: That was your movement.

ROBBIE: Woo!

LIAM: So all my movement is gone, correct?

AABRIA: Yeah, that feels generous. (laughter)

LIAM: Absolutely, absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely, and I'm like 10 feet away from her?

AABRIA: I'm not putting you at a Dutch angle. You can be on the top of the thing.

LIAM: Oh, okay. Then before he started running, he stuck his blade in and started running and as he's landing, since he feels like Superman right now, as he lands, he pulls it out and it spins and he's going to slide to the right and then come back to the left and aim for her crossbow and try to knock it the fuck out of her hand.

AABRIA: Let's go.

ASHLEY: Yes, yes, yes!

ROBBIE: Please do.

MATT: Add a d4.

LIAM: Yeah, yeah.

AABRIA: Oh, you took damage, did you roll?

MATT: I did, I rolled it.

AABRIA: Ah, beans.

MATT: Yep, that's 15.

AABRIA: I'll get you. Don't you worry.

MATT: I know you will.

AABRIA: Don't worry.

MATT: Me and my one hit point left, yeah.

ROBBIE: Also, someone else has Bardic Inspiration. I've got two marks off and I can't remember who I gave it to last game.

MATT: I think it was me as well.

ROBBIE: Fuck.

MATT: Sorry.

LIAM: 26 to hit.

AABRIA: Yeah, it hits, friend. You're not going to kill my good archer. It's going to be okay, Ula. You're going to be fine.

LIAM: Plus four is seven, plus the superiority die. 14 points of damage and she has to make a strength save and beat 14.

AABRIA: Okay, okay. She doesn't make it. She doesn't make it.

LIAM: Okay, so he spins, he slides to the right and then brings it right down on her wrist holding it, cutting her along the arm and knocking her arm down and the crossbow slams to the stone column and then just disappears into the jungle below.

AABRIA: Amazing.

AIMEE: Yeah, baby.

AABRIA: Amazing.

ASHLEY: Yes!

AABRIA: Cool, cool, anything with your bonus action?

MATT and ROBBIE: (laugh)

LIAM: Nah, I'm good.

AABRIA: Vibes, thanks.

LIAM: He'll spin his blade in his hand a second time.

AIMEE: Just for flash. Flair.

MATT: Hell yeah.

AABRIA: All right. She's up, so is she pinned down by your swo--? Or no, you pulled it out to--

LIAM: She's just disarmed.

AABRIA: Take it back, okay. She looks at her ranged weapon and then shrugs because she wouldn't have been able to fire it effectively anyway, and her hands, one of which is pouring off blood, reach for the holsters at her side as she pulls out two knives and is going to attack you.

AIMEE: Jesus.

AABRIA: Does a 20 hit?

LIAM: It does.

AABRIA: And the other one doesn't. So the bloodied hand feints out and misses and then she lands with the other one, burying her chest just on the other side of your collarbone. ♪ You're going to take-- ♪ Oh no. You take seven points of piercing damage and she leaves the blade in and is just leaning on you.

AIMEE: Oh shit.

LIAM: That's nasty.

AABRIA: Yeah. All right, that's her. That's unfortunate. Fearne, you're up.

ASHLEY: Okay. I am going to over my shoulder see the caster, and I am going to bamf into Wild Shape.

AIMEE: Yes!

AABRIA: Oh!

ASHLEY: Into a big old dire wolf.

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Oops. Come on.

AABRIA: Do I have my dire wolf? Oh no, I left it.

ASHLEY: Let me go to my dire wolf settings and as I turn, I'm just starting to make the change and then start leaping towards him.

AABRIA: Heck yeah.

ASHLEY: I'm going to take a big old bite.

AABRIA: Do a big bite!

ASHLEY: Natural 20.

LIAM: Yeah!

MATT: Whoa, yeah!

AABRIA: Shut up, let's go!

MATT: Get it.

ASHLEY: 20.

ROBBIE: Come on.

ASHLEY: Okay.

AABRIA: We love this.

ASHLEY: So here we go. Let me do my human teeth dice.

AABRIA: I hate hearing about them every time. (laughter)

AABRIA: This is not the outfit you want to nervous sweat in, but I am. (laughter)

ROBBIE: It's a wetsuit.

ASHLEY: I only rolled four with them.

AABRIA: Okay.

ASHLEY: So four, eight plus three. So 11 points of damage.

AABRIA: Sweet, is this a bite? What kind of attack is this? Break me off some flavor.

ASHLEY: Okay, so--

AABRIA: What just happened to my hungry guy?

ASHLEY: It's a throat bite. I think Fearne always goes for the kill. So I think as she's running, it's taking the bite up to the throat because I would love to just knock him prone, if I could.

AABRIA: I love that.

ASHLEY: That might be a lot.

AABRIA: Go ahead and make an athletics check and I'll make a strength saving throw to resist it.

ASHLEY: Okay.

AABRIA: Weak. You have to beat a six.

ASHLEY: Well, I rolled a natural 15.

AABRIA: Yeah, you're good.

ASHLEY: That's probably going to work.

AABRIA: You're absolutely able to as you bite, your massive paws that are the size of his pecs slam him down into the ground and you're on his throat.

ASHLEY: Great. Okay, and then now it's--

AABRIA: Mister?

ASHLEY: Wow, yes, thank you.

AABRIA: I got you. (laughter)

ASHLEY: My brain. Okay. So I'm going to have him come around. Mister.

AABRIA: To where?

ASHLEY: To where I'm at, flanking.

AABRIA: Okay. Can he move as far as you can in dire wolf form?

ASHLEY: Let's see. What is--?

AABRIA: ♪ What is Mister's movement speed? ♪ ♪ Did I write it down? ♪ ♪ I didn't! ♪

ASHLEY: That is a very good question. I don't know what the movement-- Okay, here it is. Sorry, 30 feet.

AABRIA: Okay. That'll get him-- He's going to be a little bit shy.

ASHLEY: Okay, that's okay.

AABRIA: So that would be right here.

ASHLEY: Okay, one second. So is he within 10 feet--

AABRIA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: -- of him?

AABRIA: He is.

ASHLEY: Okay, great. Our caster would have to make a dex saving throw of 13 or take 2d6 fire damage.

AABRIA: That's going to be very easy for him to make that dex save in that he is grappled.

ASHLEY: Probably.

AABRIA: He doesn't make it.

ASHLEY: Okay.

AABRIA: Trying to come up for-- I was like, "Is there some way I can give him--?"

ASHLEY: "There's got to be something that--"

AABRIA: Nope. It's just an 11.

ASHLEY: 2d6.

AIMEE: Oh my god, they really are teeth.

ASHLEY: They are so small. Okay.

AIMEE: Are they made of teeth?

ASHLEY: So that is seven points of damage.

AABRIA: Amazing.

MATT: Nice.

AABRIA: You hear the caster gurgling something. He tries to make a retort, but it's just sending fresh waves of hot blood into your mouth.

ASHLEY: Awesome.

AABRIA: And you don't understand.

ASHLEY: Great. Just trying to take that casting voice away and I'll just stay there, shoulder blades out, growling.

AIMEE: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Just looking around, trying to keep him there and Mister's done.

AABRIA: Okay. Let's see. With a four, he's not going to be able to make. He can't spellcast in this round. He's grappled with you. So he grabs onto the chest fur of you, trying to scrabble around for enough purchase and is going to pull out a knife and attempt to bury it into your big old hide.

ASHLEY: Let's go.

AABRIA: Okay, does an 18 hit your dire wolf?

ASHLEY: Yes, it does.

AABRIA: Okay, okay. Okay, four points--

ASHLEY: Got it.

AABRIA: -- of piercing damage, and I need you to make a constitution saving throw.

ASHLEY: Okay. Let's go with this one. Nice, okay. Dirty 20.

AABRIA: You feel something. The stab of pain is there, but then you feel something extra as it begins to move through you, a poison that hasn't taken effect yet, but it's not gone. And in your heightened state, this adrenaline, this aggression, the excitement of fresh blood and being so close to another kill speeds up your heartbeat and you feel it beginning to move through your veins, but there is no deleterious effect yet.

ASHLEY: Okay. Okay.

AABRIA: End of round. Let's see. Yeah, the pseudopod's too far away. You all hear laughter and it's moved from on top of the central section and it's now over here. That's all she does? No, it's not. She's going to send off one more Eldritch Blast, but she's going to aim it-- She's going to aim it at the dire wolf.

ASHLEY: Okay.

AABRIA: She sees you very close to killing her friend. A 19.

ASHLEY: Hits.

AABRIA: For eight points of force damage.

ASHLEY: Got it.

AABRIA: Okay and once again, if your feet are on the ground, I need you to make a dexterity or strength saving throw as the ground begins to rumble again, as she begins to cackle almost triumphantly.

MATT: Did you add a d4 to that?

ROBBIE: Do we get the d4 on that?

AABRIA: Oh my god, I got to get you out of the sky.

MATT: That's fine, don't worry about it.

AABRIA: Next round, next round.

ASHLEY: 18 total.

AABRIA: 18.

LIAM: Natural 20 plus three.

AABRIA: Okay, cool.

AIMEE: Nice.

ROBBIE: 19.

AABRIA: You're fine. Oh, you didn't have to roll it. You're not on the ground, are you?

ROBBIE: Oh no, we're in the air.

AABRIA: Yeah.

ROBBIE: I rolled anyway. It's so nice up here.

MATT: Yeah.

AABRIA: You're fine, you're already on the ground, so there was no knocking you prone.

AIMEE: Right.

AABRIA: So you just jiggle.

AIMEE: I thought I got out of that. I couldn't move. Didn't I move? No, she caught me back.

AABRIA: I don't think she's moving yet.

AIMEE: She caught me back, okay.

AABRIA: You still have to finish your exchange with Dariax before all of that hits as--

AIMEE: Oh god.

AABRIA: It shifts.

AIMEE: What? What?!

AABRIA: It becomes a little different.

MATT: Oh god.

AIMEE: What is that?!

ROBBIE: No!

MATT: What?

ROBBIE: That's a face.

AIMEE: Wait, what?

AABRIA: And you all see that the beginnings of a face--

ROBBIE: (laughs) No.

AABRIA: -- appear.

MATT: That is terrifying.

ROBBIE: On the head.

AIMEE: I hate it.

AABRIA: Yeah.

ROBBIE: Oh no.

AABRIA: Yay. We'll do this one now too, it feels good. And the pseudopod takes on a more concrete appearance.

ALL: What?

ROBBIE: No!

AIMEE: Oh, that's so--

ROBBIE: I don't like it.

LIAM: Oh no.

AABRIA: Inside its outstretched hand--

AIMEE: I once bought a stool that looked like that. I mean, not as grotesque, but like a hand.

MATT: Hey guys, oh my god, just trying to fight you.

AIMEE: Wait, who's that on there?

AABRIA: Myr'atta.

AIMEE: We see her now?

AABRIA: You see her as she reappears, cackling. She thinks she is so close to winning.

AIMEE: She thinks she cute.

AABRIA: She is cute, this is dope as shit.

MATT: This is fucking cool.

AABRIA: You can't tell me differently.

MATT: I hate it.

AABRIA: All right, Dariax, you're up. Dorian, you're on deck.

MATT: All right. After being blasted with the Eldritch Blasts, I spin around: Dorian, you got this? Blood pouring down my face.

ROBBIE: I don't think that we do. Have you seen what's going on?

MATT: What? Ah, shit.

ROBBIE: Yep.

MATT: I'm going to go ahead and cast Cure Wounds on myself because I'm in a bad place.

AABRIA: Yay.

MATT: For-- Yes, okay. Eight points.

AABRIA: Okay.

MATT: All right. And then like: All right. Opal, I'm coming! And then I dart down and (impacts) land right in the dirt next to you, (poof) a little bit of impact. What do you need?

AIMEE: Can I pull my hand out?

AABRIA: What part of "It's hard for you to move" are you just not interacting with as a human? (laughter) It's wild.

AIMEE: Pull me up! And then I'm going to take my ring off momentarily so he can see me, put it back on.

MATT: Yeah, I don't see you.

AABRIA: Yeah.

AIMEE: Why not? What if I take my ring off?

AABRIA: Do you take your ring off?

AIMEE: I took it off and then I put it back on just so you see me.

AABRIA: Wait, so you do that while you're laying down?

AIMEE: Yeah, she can still move her hand.

AABRIA: Make an athletics check to see if you can interact with your own hands.

AIMEE: Oh man.

AABRIA: Yeah, I'ma leave you leveled in this fight.

ASHLEY: Ring makes you invisible?

AABRIA: I don't care.

AIMEE: Ooh, 17!

AABRIA: All right, you can take off your ring.

AIMEE: Finally, thank you.

AABRIA: Yeah.

AIMEE: She takes off the ring, puts it back on. Can you pick me up?

MATT: I can start to, sure.

AIMEE: I'll go wherever you go, just pick me up.

MATT: All right. I begin the process of doing so, since I already did my action to heal myself and my movement. I'm right now just reaching out into space, being like: I apologize, not trying to get fresh. Okay, there we go, there we go. I got the waist a bit.

AIMEE: You can get fresh. (laughter)

AABRIA: Let's go.

ASHLEY: I mean, we could die any minute, so.

AIMEE: I don't want to die a virgin. (laughter)

AABRIA: Amazing. The moment you make physical contact with Opal, I need you to make a wisdom saving throw.

MATT: Checks out.

AIMEE: Shit, I'm sorry.

MATT: That's fine, oh wow. Natural 19, so 18.

AABRIA: You hear the skittering of legs and then it gets drowned out. not by a sound but by light, and your attention gets drawn back up to the light around you that's beginning to tint the very edges of your wings with a little purple, a little blue. And you feel very much at home and one with whatever this miasma is, even though it is actively being concentrated into whatever this is right now, you can still reach out and grab it.

MATT: Okay.

AABRIA: If there's anything you want to do, now's the time to do it.

MATT: Sure, yeah, I guess if I'm feeling the energy drawing my attention towards it, I'm going to try and extend my will towards it and be like: Any help I can get?

AABRIA: What most do you want to be able to do? What does Dariax want most right now?

MATT: Right now, to help Opal.

AABRIA: Okay. Okay. Dariax, you are now under the effect of the Haste spell.

MATT: Oh!

ASHLEY: Ooh!

MATT: Shit.

AIMEE: I don't know that one.

MATT: It's good.

AIMEE: Oh, good.

AABRIA: That's going to stack with the wings horribly.

LIAM: This is it, Matt.

AABRIA: Cool, cool, cool.

LIAM: Now it's your turn.

MATT: I am become Vax. (laughter)

AABRIA: I didn't realize what I was doing until just right now.

LIAM: Just doubled 90 feet of movement, baby!

MATT: Yeah.

AIMEE: Nice!

ASHLEY: Damn.

AABRIA: Cool, cool, cool, this is fine. It doesn't break my encounter at all. It was a natural 20.

MATT: No, not at all. You know that scene in Advent Children where Cloud goes into his Neo Omni-Slash and you see Sephiroth going boom, boom, boom, boom?

AABRIA: Yep.

MATT: That's going to be Dariax. Well, it would be until I hit zero hit points next round, anyway. So I'll continue, that's the end of my turn.

ASHLEY: Oh boy.

AABRIA: Vibes, beautiful. Okay, Dorian, you're up.

ROBBIE: (uncertain noises)

ROBBIE: There's so much going on.

AABRIA: So much.

ROBBIE: There's so much going on. We don't have any more hideys, do we? Or is our main baddy hidden somewhere?

AABRIA: You can actually see Myr'atta is in this massive hand.

ROBBIE: So all of our enemies are now visible?

AABRIA: They are all visible.

ROBBIE: Engaged with Orym, in the hand and then--

LIAM: In the corner.

AABRIA: Mage in the corner being actively devoured. And a disarmed crossbow archer.

ROBBIE: Oh man.

AABRIA: Currently pressing in on Orym. I'll finish him off.

ROBBIE: Oh, man.

AABRIA: I will absolutely finish him off. What do you want to do?

ROBBIE: (sighs) Fuck. I'm going to fly down to Dariax and see what's going on over here with the squad. So I'll land with him.

AABRIA: You get over there. I'll put Dariax back on the field because I keep knocking him down.

MATT: Eh, it's fine.

AABRIA: Oh, buddy.

MATT: (laughs)

ROBBIE: And then--

AABRIA: I need you to make a wisdom saving throw as you get within range.

ROBBIE: Doody poopoo seven.

MATT: Add a d4?

ROBBIE: Doody poopoo plus four. Oh, 10, 10, 10.

AIMEE: Nice.

AABRIA: Not high enough. (laughs)

ROBBIE: 10. 10.

AABRIA: And you get within range and you feel-- As your body passes through some sort of event horizon as you get closer to Dariax, begins to go cold. And you feel your stomach begin to drop as that voice comes back to you and says, "It's not looking very good, is it? You're going to die here. You're all going to die here."

ROBBIE: I think you underestimate my friends.

AABRIA: "I think you overestimate them."

ROBBIE: I guess we'll see.

AABRIA: "A real leader would do what was required of him to ensure success. And I'm so very close. You could just reach out and grab me."

ROBBIE: Fuck off. I'm going to shut this down.

AABRIA: All right.

AIMEE: Nice.

ROBBIE: Can I see the residuum sticking out of Opal's body?

AABRIA: You can.

ROBBIE: I'll use my action to try and pull the spikes out of her face. She's got two on her face, I think?

AABRIA: She's got one in her face, two in her-- One in each shoulder and one in each thigh.

ROBBIE: Fuck.

AABRIA: Yeah.

ROBBIE: Can I try and get them all with one action?

AABRIA: Where do you start? We'll start there.

ROBBIE: I'm going to start in her head. Yeah, and just work my way down.

AABRIA: You go to reach and the moment you make physical contact with it, I need you to make an intelligence saving throw.

ROBBIE: Fuck! Why am I so stupid?

AABRIA: Because you're not a wizard.

ROBBIE: Nine.

MATT: Add a d4.

ROBBIE: Oh wait. No, I have one. I'm sorry. That was 10 plus d4. ♪ Ooh, come on ♪ ♪ Come on, Bless ♪ ♪ Please do good ♪ Four! 14.

AIMEE and ASHLEY: Yes!

AABRIA: You take two points of psychic damage.

ROBBIE: Okay.

AABRIA: But you can pull the spike free.

AIMEE: Thank you.

ROBBIE: Just the one on her head?

AABRIA: You can try again. I'm saying that this is all happening within the action, but you get to roll--

ASHLEY: Wait, did that stay in there?

AABRIA: No, it came out.

ASHLEY: It came out.

AABRIA: It came free. Opal, take one point of psychic damage. As you feel, even as your body gets lighter, the connection between you and Ted is being ripped away. Next one. Which one do you reach for?

ROBBIE: Does she-- Do I see--

AIMEE: Can I speak to him?

ROBBIE: Yeah, when I see this happen?

AABRIA: Yeah, I'll let that happen.

ROBBIE: Are you all right, Opal?

AIMEE: Yeah, but don't do it again. I can't feel Ted as much. I'm sorry.

ROBBIE: Don't?

AIMEE: Thank you.

ROBBIE: Are you sure?

AIMEE: Yeah.

ROBBIE: You'll be stuck here.

AIMEE: I know. I'd kiss you, but I'm invisible.

AABRIA: Wait, hold on. Were you invisible?

AIMEE: No, no, I took it off.

AABRIA: Again, because then what is he reaching for?

AIMEE: I've taken my ring off so he could see me.

AABRIA: I'm assuming you just unscrewed it, so you can just push it back on.

AIMEE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LIAM: Boy, what a line. Totally visible and be like, "Ah, you know, if I just weren't invisible--"

ROBBIE: You were still, never mind. (laughter)

LIAM: I'm just so invisible.

ROBBIE: All right, I will honor her wishes and--

AIMEE: Thank you. I'm sorry.

ROBBIE: And I don't know what else to do.

AABRIA: I'll relegate that to a bonus action if there's anything else you want to do.

ROBBIE: No, but I will use my bonus action to take a healing potion.

AABRIA: Okay. That's fine. (laughter)

AABRIA: Is that the end of your turn?

ROBBIE: 2d4. Yeah, yeah. That'll do it for me.

MATT: You just pour up the potion if you want.

ROBBIE: What? Oh, I could do the thing.

MATT: Yeah, you could do the thing.

AABRIA: Hey!

ROBBIE: I could really tell you were like, "I made those, please do it."

MATT: Look, I made them, then we had a pandemic and so nobody uses them. So I'm just like, "Yay."

ROBBIE: I can literally pour them out.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: Yeah.

AABRIA: So cute.

AIMEE: How fun!

ROBBIE: I can't tell.

LIAM: The one at the top.

AIMEE: One at the top.

ROBBIE: But there is no top.

MATT: Well, then it'll be whatever's at the bottom.

ROBBIE: Oh, it's the bottom. Four.

LIAM: Or the opposite of what I said.

AABRIA: Beautiful. Plus two?

ROBBIE: Four, total.

AABRIA: Okay, so you take back four points of healing. Which is just in time as Myr'atta looks over and says, "Don't touch her!"

ROBBIE: Shit!

AABRIA: And is going to fire two Eldritch Blasts at you.

AIMEE: Fuck, I'm sorry.

LIAM: Shit.

AABRIA: 16.

ROBBIE: Yep.

AABRIA: And an eight.

ROBBIE: No.

AABRIA: All right, all right. No, that's an eight. I have to hit you with a 10 or it doesn't count for nine points of force damage.

ROBBIE: I did what you wanted.

AIMEE: Oh my god!

MATT: No!

AABRIA: And you watch. You hear her scream. And as Dorian is holding that single piece of residuum, looks up at her then down at you as purple black energy connects with his chest, pulses through him, and he falls back.

AIMEE: Wait, I have pool of healing.

AABRIA: Uh-huh. Is it your turn right now?

AIMEE: No.

AABRIA: Cool.

AIMEE: But I can use it on my turn?

AABRIA: Yeah.

AIMEE: Okay.

AABRIA: All right, you fall unconscious. Opal, it's your turn.

AIMEE: That was fast! Okay, so I'm going to put the ring back on, so I'm invisible again. And I would like to see if I could connect with Ted at any point, psychically.

AABRIA: Okay. So putting the ring back on has to be an action or a bonus action. Trying to commune with Ted has to be an action or a bonus action.

AIMEE: How far is Myr'atta from me?

AABRIA: I measured this out earlier so I would remember. About 100 feet.

AIMEE: Okay. I'm really stupid.

AABRIA: You're not stupid. I'm just creating the problem of you have to decide what you do.

AIMEE: Oh, I know. No, I'm Opal.

AABRIA: You're brilliant. This is great.

AIMEE: No, I'm saying she's about to do something fucking dumb.

AABRIA: So what do you do?

AIMEE: I would like to use my action to Eldritch Blast Myr'atta, who is currently under Hexblade's Curse.

AABRIA: Yep. So that's just an additional damage that you do to her.

AIMEE: Yeah. But just reminding everyone.

AABRIA: Assuming you hit. Absolutely.

AIMEE: I know, I know.

AABRIA: Oh, I'm not using my reactions enough. No, it doesn't work. She's not close enough. Never mind.

AIMEE: 17.

AABRIA: 17 misses.

AIMEE: Okay. So that is my-- what is that? My action?

AABRIA: Uh-huh.

AIMEE: I guess my bonus action would then be to put the ring back on.

AABRIA: Okay. And you were lifted to standing by Dorian. So you have access to your movement. I'm going to say you're still very heavy because you've got four of these in you, so your movement is halved. But you can move around.

AIMEE: Oh, fuck. I didn't use my pool of healing. Okay. Can I reverse that and not put the ring back on? I'm going to use my pool of healing, to help-- This is so stupid. To help Dorian.

AABRIA: Roll a d20. Just roll a d20 for me.

AIMEE: Where's the spider bitch? Have her to come back. I want to negotiate.

AABRIA: She's been waiting. Actually, you know what? No. Because you didn't do what she asked. I don't care about the d20. You made your choice.

AIMEE: I didn't have a chance. I just got--

AABRIA: No. You were in his hands and you didn't ask for the circlet. You made your choice.

AIMEE: Okay. So what do I do now?

AABRIA: Nothing. You're done, unless you use your movement.

MATT: (laughs)

AIMEE: Okay, I'm sorry.

AABRIA: Oh, don't apologize.

AIMEE: To him!

AABRIA: Oh, yeah, you should apologize to him.

ROBBIE: I can't hear you. I'm unconscious.

AABRIA: He's dead.

MATT: You can hear Dariax screaming. Dorian! (laughter)

ASHLEY: Oh, buddy!

AIMEE: But I am invisible, yes? Because I did finish that movement.

AABRIA: Yep, you are invisible.

AIMEE: Or whatever. Okay.

AABRIA: A hundred percent.

AIMEE: Fuck me!

ROBBIE: Taking that BDSM outfit pretty seriously.

AABRIA: I'll say-- I'm just saying, it's the finale and if you didn't feel the stakes, then what kind of GM would I be?

MATT: Right?

AABRIA: Yeah. She's going to look over her shoulder and look at you, Orym. Myr'atta, and is going to send an Eldritch Blast in your direction.

LIAM: Okay.

AABRIA: Goddamn it! She misses. And it just skitters and shatters a bit of the-- Actually, yeah, let's do that. Yeah.

MATT: No, don't do that.

AABRIA: It hits the pillar under you and you feel it just lurch a little bit. You don't have to go anywhere now, but this isn't going to stay a pillar for very long. All right, that's her deeply disappointing turn as she reaches and you see her lean down and she puts both of her palms in the center of this massive nightmare of a palm and is channeling energy into whatever this apotheosis is as we go.

LIAM: I'm going to rush at the elf that's here and make a pushing attack.

AABRIA: Oh, she's right on you. You don't have to rush her. because remember, she's stabbed into you and is pushing down.

LIAM: Yeah, but I'm using a--

AABRIA: I mean, you can do whatever you want.

LIAM: She's on top of me with a--

AABRIA: She's got a dagger behind your clavicle and she's pushing down on you.

LIAM: But am I on the ground?

AABRIA: No, no, no, no. That's just for flavor. You just said "rush," and I was like, "Oh, you're locked up right now." It's cute.

LIAM: So that's a 17 to hit.

AABRIA: It hits.

MATT: Plus d4.

LIAM: Thank you. 18 to hit. I'm doing a pushing attack, so she's got to make a strength save.

AABRIA: Oh, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap. A natural two is not going to do it.

LIAM: Okay, so that means she's going--

AABRIA: Can I add Bless?

MATT: Nah!

AABRIA: No? Not for me?

MATT: Nah, sorry.

AABRIA: Okay. That's fine.

AIMEE: That makes two of us.

AABRIA: That's fine.

MATT: You still got Dorian. I'm just--

ROBBIE: He's got two Bardic Inspirations. He could always give you one. (laughs)

AABRIA: That'd be so nice.

LIAM: So, here's what happens. She takes eight points of damage and because she failed, she's going off the edge. I'm going to use my movement to run after her and jump, and as I'm falling, I pull the dagger out of my own shoulder and a bonus action will do another battle maneuver, Toss, and throw the dagger at her as I'm falling on top of her.

AABRIA: Yo, shut up.

MATT: So fucking cool!

AABRIA: Roll this with advantage because that's incredibly cool.

LIAM: Natural 20.

AABRIA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Come on!

ROBBIE: Let's go.

ASHLEY: What?!

LIAM: So that is a four-- plus the superiority die. Oh wait, minus the 12, doubled 24, plus four is 28. Did I do that right? Yeah, because of the superiority die, which I rolled an eight out of eight on. So that is a 28 total.

AIMEE: Yeah!

ROBBIE: Whoa!

LIAM: And then I land on her.

AABRIA: Look, this is like candy for a DM, but you're also a DM. So you explain to me, how do you want to do this? (cheering)

ROBBIE: Whoa! What?

MATT: (laughs) Yes!

LIAM: All right, so the first attack, I just jam it into her sternum and push her off and she goes, and I don't stop moving. I just sail off the end, yank it off, and it flips up in my hand and I chuck it. And it goes right in at the throat between the collarbone and the throat, and as I land, sure, my heel comes down on it and pins her into the ground. And then I spring off and land next to her.

ROBBIE: Wow.

AABRIA: And as you stand up from springing off, you just see the-- (crack, whump) As the entire-- this whole structure lands behind you and sends up a big cloud of purple-colored dust and debris and arcane fuckery in the air. That was incredibly cool!

ASHLEY: That was really cool.

MATT: Yeah!

AABRIA: Okay, cool. I'm sweaty. That was very fun.

ROBBIE: He's our little murder man.

AABRIA: Oh no, that was her turn. She's dead, though. It's fine. Fearne, you're up.

ASHLEY: Okay. So I'm going to keep chomping. Just chomping at this boy down here. Okay. That is a dirty 20.

AABRIA: Yeah.

ROBBIE: Yes.

ASHLEY: Okay.

AABRIA: Okay, yeah.

ASHLEY: So let's go to these guys.

AABRIA: And doesn't your dire wolf form have multiattack? Did I make that up?

ASHLEY: I don't think so. Okay.

ASHLEY: Let's see. I don't think so.

AABRIA: What do I know?

LIAM: It's whatever the stats for dire wolf are.

ASHLEY: Yeah. It doesn't say.

AABRIA: You're good. You're good.

ASHLEY: Okay.

AABRIA: He's not doing great.

ASHLEY: Eight points of damage.

AABRIA: Okay. Make a wisdom saving throw.

ASHLEY: Oh, that's right.

AABRIA: Because you didn't have to roll to hit. You just rolled to get your teeth closer together.

ASHLEY: Not very good.

MATT: Add a d4.

AABRIA: Goddamn it!

MATT: I get to be the Clippy of this game.

AABRIA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: 12.

AABRIA: With a 12, as you're biting down, you hear it, too. The skittering of spider legs. "You could finish it. You could finish it right now. You love killing them. Hot, fresh blood. I could help you finish it. Just promise to wear the vestige. It looks so good on you. You know it does. Don't be afraid. You're not like the other ones, scared and weak. You're strong. Prove it."

ASHLEY: I'm just like (growls) (eating noises) (laughter)

AABRIA: Deep within your heart, I'll say here, if you spiritually commit to this, I'll let you roll the damage dice again. Not to replace, to add. But you don't have to. You can feel it, that little mote of dark possibility. You know when you drink lemonade, when you're laughing and you get that little cramp, you feel it, it makes you reflexively want to bite down but you can't yet, but you could if you wanted to.

ASHLEY: I'm just going to growl and hold where I'm at and not take extra, even though I'm just tasting the blood and it would feel so nice to just finish it. I'm not going to do it yet.

AABRIA: Okay.

ASHLEY: Now, Mister is there still.

AABRIA: And he can finish closing the distance.

ASHLEY: Great, he'll close the distance and--

AABRIA: I'm not going to move him. He's so far away.

ASHLEY: Let's roll for him. Let me pull up his stats real quick. Which one? Let's do this guy. Ooh, that's good. 19?

AABRIA: 19 hits.

ASHLEY: Okay, and that is 2d6. Okay, that is eight points of damage.

AABRIA: Ooh, so close.

ASHLEY: Ooh, ugh.

AABRIA: He's looking very, very bad. And you can see that-- Or, not so much see, because you can't really look down and get a bead on this caster's face, but you feel heaviness and the loss of motor control as the scrabbling is less directed, sloppier, as the life is leaving him.

ASHLEY: Okay.

AABRIA: He's not dead yet. Is that it?

ASHLEY: Just sitting there. Just trying to keep my eyes on everybody. And that's it.

AABRIA: Okay. Let's see. I can pull this up, finally. With what last bit of energy he has, he leans and you feel more tearing, but something, even though he is doing more damage to himself, something comes free and he can vocalize again. Hands-free, mouth open. He swivels around to catch you, and you, and Dorian. I don't think he can-- No, he's not going to catch-- Oh no, if Mister closed the distance, then he's going to catch Mister, too. I need all of you to make dexterity saving throws. As it begins to get very cold--

ASHLEY: I just realized--

MATT: d4.

AABRIA: Uh-huh. What did you realize, my friend?

ASHLEY: I rolled an attack for Mister, but it's a dex save.

AABRIA: Oh, okay.

ASHLEY: I fucked that up.

AABRIA: I mean, it's okay. He doesn't really have that much dexterity. I'm fine with that.

ASHLEY: I'll remember that next time.

AABRIA: No, it's all good. Thank you though. I appreciate your honesty. Take your inspiration back, if you don't have it.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay.

MATT: I don't think you get one, being unconscious.

ROBBIE: Oh, you're right. Good point.

AABRIA: Oh sorry, it's a constitution saving throw, not a dex save.

ASHLEY: We all make one, right?

MATT: Constitution saving throw?

AABRIA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

AABRIA: My bad.

ROBBIE: So just a death save for me? I don't know how to--

AABRIA: Oh no!

MATT: Well, it depends on what it does. It depends on what it does. I'm going to use that inspiration that you gave me to go ahead and add-- Okay. That brings it to a 17 for me.

AABRIA: You make the save.

ASHLEY: Can we use the d4 as well, for the Bless?

AABRIA: Yeah, I highly recommend it.

ASHLEY: 17.

ROBBIE: I got two.

AABRIA: Sweet. Roll a constitution save for Mister also.

ASHLEY: Okay. Ew. Well, that's a natural five, so I'm sure he's not going to make that.

AABRIA: Oh no. I was going to get someone and I'm so glad it was you.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

AABRIA: You're going to take--

MATT: Oh, that's not good.

ASHLEY: Oh, that was a lot of dice.

ROBBIE: Lot of dice.

AABRIA: It was a lot of dice.

ROBBIE: A lot of dice.

MATT: Yeah.

AABRIA: He reaches out weakly. You feel the temperature drop around you. One of his hands clamps onto your muzzle. Not trying to free himself from your grasp, to hold you there, here for this as he hits you with a Cone of Cold. All of you are going to take 14 points of cold damage. I rolled incredibly low on 8d8.

ASHLEY: 8d8?

MATT: Yeah, no. That's a party wipe in one spell.

LIAM: We heard the sound. Who all is this attack hitting?

AABRIA: That's going to hit Mister, Fearne, Darian-- Dariax and Dorian. Dorian, you take two fails of your death save.

MATT: Oh god.

LIAM: You're on the brink, my friend.

MATT: And I take 14, or half with the success?

AABRIA: Oh, yeah, you had a success, so take half.

MATT: So seven?

AABRIA: Yeah.

MATT: Oh no.

AABRIA: Son of a bitch. But make your con save against your stupid, stupid, perfect Bless.

MATT: 19. (laughs)

AABRIA: Golly. It's fine. This is the worst spell that has ever happened to me. And it's a level one nothing!

MATT: Hey, hey. ♪ I feel your pain ♪

AABRIA: It's cool, it's cool, it's fine. And with that, you feel the last of his strength leave him. He used everything that was left and he goes limp in your hands. Is your dire wolf form still up?

ASHLEY: Mm-hmm.

AABRIA: All right.

ASHLEY: Still up.

MATT: Dire wolf don't joke around.

ASHLEY: Almost down, but still up.

AABRIA: Does not play. But it all gets worse. I need all of you to once again make a dexterity save or a strength saving throw.

AABRIA: You're going to make yours with disadvantage because you're very heavy. So it's going to be hard for you. Actually, you know what? If you make it a strength save, you can roll it normally. If you make it a dex save, you have to roll with disadvantage because you're not that agile right now.

AIMEE: Okay. Well, it's about the same shit, but--

ASHLEY: Oh no, oh no.

MATT: Oh, Aimee. (laughs)

LIAM: What was it?

AABRIA: You got four? You get knocked prone again and take one more point of bludgeoning damage as your body shoots back. Now, it's a bit of a blessing that you're on the ground because I don't think you want to see what happens here as it changes.

LIAM: Oh, dear.

MATT: What?

ASHLEY: Oh no!

MATT: Oh god!

AIMEE: Ew! Ew! Ew!

ROBBIE: Ew! I don't like it. I like it less.

AIMEE: This is a nightmare.

AABRIA: I would like all of you--

MATT: I hate it.

AABRIA: -- to meet Ted. And that's where we're going to take our break.

ALL: What?!

LIAM: Ted does not look the way I imagined her.

ROBBIE: No.

AABRIA: She cute, though!

AIMEE: Ted needs a makeover.

AABRIA: Like, a little bit.

MATT: That is some Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark shit. I am into it.

ASHLEY: Ralph Steadman style.

AABRIA: Stay.

ROBBIE: I'm so glad I can't see this. (laughter)

AABRIA: We'll be back. Stay tuned. We'll see you in a few minutes.

ASHLEY: Oh, man.

AIMEE: I need my drink.

Break
NARROTOR (VO): Lucy Adam was born about 9,000 years before our time. In the year 515, after having federated the African continent, she set out to conquer Rome. It was on witnessing the consequences of this terrible battle that she decided to impose upon her people a strictly vegetarian diet. (man grunts) (metal chimes) And it's in 1082, following the unexplained death of the king, that she was crowned empress of Spain. In fact, to celebrate this event, that rock and roll was invented. (electric guitar music) In 1789, allied with the valiant Japanese, she discovered the real Indies, which had fallen into the hands of the bloody French. (whimsical music) This was followed by the Great Devastation, a 100-year war that Lucy had amended before beginning the Great Reconstruction and establishing a lasting peace by banishing all forms of currency and violence, as well as the use of selfie sticks in museums. Hey, Lucy. Lucy, are you with us? (bell rings) Okay. For next week, don't forget your essay on the cultural stereotypes of the Great Civilizations. (whimsical music) How far will you push Humankind? (whimsical music) (logo chimes)

LAURA: Hey, critters. Laura Bailey here. Let's see what's up in the Critical Role shop. (upbeat saxophone music) Ooh, look at this. Look at the details. The Traveler always says impulse purchases are a good decision. Wallow in investigation if you want. It's basically perfect. Seriously. Look at this thing. Click on over to the Critical Role shop. Don't worry, there's a few more minutes in the break. You still got time.

Part II
AABRIA: Welcome back. We are in the middle of what I like to call an Apotheosister.

MATT: (laughs) Oh.

AIMEE: What?!

ASHLEY: Wow, I'm going to write that down.

AIMEE: I hate it!

AABRIA: You see before you, all of you, with the exception of one of you, who's about to have a real bad day, the form, once again, made of churned earth, and rubble, and stone, and plant matter. Your sister, Ted, being summoned, pulled, ripped from you by Myr'atta, and brought into the world by what I think you all have figured out now is as a warlock patron, but not just for you. Greedy girl. There's enough Ted here for everybody. And we're back up at the top of initiative. Dariax, you're up.

MATT: All right. Still finishing my long: (shouts) (laughter and clapping) As--

AIMEE: Six second fall.

AABRIA: Yeah, let me knock you over because you're having a nap!

ROBBIE: I can't hear any of it.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: I go: No, uh! Wings still out, just boof, short burst rush towards him. I have one spell slot, period, left. I'm going to go ahead and cast Cure Wounds on him.

AIMEE: Yes!

ASHLEY: Yes.

AIMEE: Yes!

MATT: So you heal five hit points, back to consciousness.

ROBBIE: Not a lot! Thank you for saving me.

AABRIA: As you come back, let's cut over to that. Dorian. You are in a dark, liminal space. A place between places. If you, if you could see inside Opal's mind across the weeks you've been together, you would know that this place is altogether very familiar to her, but she's not here now. It's just you in the dark, alone, waiting for something to happen. What are you thinking about in this moment?

ROBBIE: Hmm. Strangely, at peace. It sort of feels like, I feel like it was nice for this sort of, to not be my choice. And to hand over the reins of my destiny to someone else, because I feel like I've been clinging so tightly to that for this whole journey. Oddly calm.

AABRIA: Okay. And give me a wisdom saving throw with advantage.

ROBBIE: All right. 12.

ASHLEY: Plus a d4, though?

AABRIA: No, he's dead, no Bless!

MATT: Yeah, the Bless probably fades.

ROBBIE: Unblessed.

AABRIA: Yeah, unblessed!

AIMEE: Well, welcome to the club.

MATT: (laughs)

ROBBIE: 12-ski.

AABRIA: You know what's coming. You know what she's going to say. And even in this moment of peace, you can't quite keep the Spider Queen at bay. You don't see her, but you have a sense of eyes, dozens, hundreds watching you. And you feel the closeness, that almost stickiness of web surrounding you, but not touching you, not quite yet. "I told you, I told you this would happen. Why do you deny me?"

ROBBIE: I don't want you to hurt my friends.

AABRIA: "So, so you would hold back power. Power to save them, power to choose, because you don't trust yourself with it?"

ROBBIE: No. If I knew I can save them, I would do anything.

AABRIA: "Huh. Well." And you feel those dozens, hundreds of eyes flit in a direction. And you hear the straining and groaning as exoskeleton moves against itself, as this tremendous thing shrinks back, back against a light that you can't quite see. And you hear her laugh low and calm. "Well, you still have a chance to put that to the test." And you just hear a little (whooshing), as you are brought back to consciousness.

MATT: Dorian, Dorian, buddy, hey, hey, you okay?

ROBBIE: No.

MATT: Do you trust me?

ROBBIE: Yes.

MATT: And I grab the front of his cloak, and hasted, it's 180 feet of movement--

AABRIA: Oh my god.

MATT: But carrying another body--

AABRIA: Why did I do this?

MATT: -- does that slow half my movement? How do you feel about that?

AABRIA: Yeah, let's do that, so it's slightly harder.

MATT: Okay.

AABRIA: Thank you. Please take inspiration for nerfing yourself a little bit, because this is insane. (laughter)

ROBBIE: Because I made you a god! (laughter)

MATT: I feel you on this. (laughter)

MATT: How far away is Myr'atta from--

AABRIA: A hundred feet.

MATT: A hundred feet? All right, I'll go: All right, buddy, hang on. I'm going to go ahead and coast for about 70 feet of it, just low to the ground, I'm just holding Dorian about five--

AIMEE: Wait, you're holding me!

MATT: Oh, I let you go.

AIMEE: Oh, you let me go. Fuck.

AABRIA: Yeah, you're standing.

MATT: I forgot you when he fell.

AABRIA: Oh, buddy!

MATT: Look, I got a very one-track mind here.

AIMEE: I get it, I get it. I get it!

MATT: If you show a bright color to me, I'm like: Oh, there we go!

AIMEE: I get it, I understand, I accept.

MATT: So holding the front of your cloak, I lift you a little bit off the ground like a couple of feet, and just (growls) try and grind about 75 feet towards the direction of Myr'atta before dropping him.

AABRIA: Yep, I love that.

MATT: And then take the rest of that movement to head up onto the hand after Myr'atta.

AIMEE: Nice.

AABRIA: Okay.

ROBBIE: Ooh, shit.

AABRIA: All right, I'll say you drop him here, and I'll let you get up here with Myr'atta. That's great for me.

MATT: And so I--

AABRIA: That's fun.

MATT: (hisses) Going upward, and then thinking, because that was my action, but because I'm hasted, I do get a weapon attack.

AABRIA: You do.

MATT: On top of that, I'm going to go ahead and think heavy, and just coast up over the top of that hand, and (bellows) spear out towards her.

AABRIA: Let's go!

MATT: Not even joking, a natural 20!

AABRIA and ASHLEY: Oh my god!

AIMEE: Oh!

MATT: You can look at that shit right there! That's beautiful.

AABRIA: Let's go.

MATT: All righty. Ah! All righty, so heavy is 2d8, you said it's an extra dice.

AABRIA: Yeah.

LIAM: Ooh.

MATT: Not bad, it's 11 times two, 22.

AABRIA: (whistles)

MATT: Plus six, it's 28 points of piercing damage.

AABRIA: God!

ROBBIE: Oof.

AABRIA: But you're only at level three, what are you doing?

MATT: I don't know, extra luck and a few bonuses!

AABRIA: Cool, cool, cool, this is great for me, and I'm not stressed. (laughter) You bury your spear into her, and in the same way that you felt that first groan of contact before she disappeared before, she tries, but is so shocked by the heaviness and ferocity of this hit, that she can't move out of the way, and just grabs onto the spear and takes the full damage, and is holding onto it.

MATT: Just staring her in the face, say: Put. Her. Back.

AABRIA: "No!"

MATT: That's my turn.

AABRIA: Sweet.

AABRIA: I just want to add that when she yelled "no," this very cool mouth also yelled "no." (shrieking)

MATT: No, I hate that, I hate that!

AABRIA: Yay!

MATT: No! No!

AABRIA: That's fun for me. Oh, I think it's time for Ted to make a move.

MATT: (fake sobbing)

AABRIA: Ted's head slowly turns and locks eyes with you, Opal. And those eyes that are dark purple, and blue like miasma above flesh, just a little iridescent for a second, before getting colder, and darker, and the mouth opens up even wider, as smoke, heavy, rolls down, out, and pours in your direction.

MATT: Oh.

AABRIA: I need-- Yeah, I need Mister, Fearne, and Opal to all make a constitution saving throw.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: Add a d4, Fearne.

AABRIA: Gosh darn it.

MATT: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Great, okay.

AABRIA: Bless is the clutchest spell and it's wild.

MATT: Pretty good for level one.

AABRIA: It's really good!

ASHLEY: 19 for Fearne.

AABRIA: Ooh, made it.

AIMEE: 15.

AABRIA: Okay. How'd Mister do?

ASHLEY: Let's see what Mister's does. Let's pull this monkey up here. Eugh. Yeah, nine. Nine for Mister.

AABRIA: Okay. The two of you made your saves, so you only take nine points.

AIMEE: Only?

AABRIA: Of poison damage.

MATT: (grunts)

AABRIA: But Mister takes the full 18. As he's just, even though he's at a height with you, when he goes quadrupedal, he drops down just low enough that he is completely lost to this low rolling fog.

ASHLEY: Mister's out.

MATT: Oh!

ASHLEY: So, wait, what does that mean? In his Wildfire Spirit. Is he dead?

AABRIA: You see it rolls over him, and you can feel the heavy, cold humidity of it, and it just consumes the fire of him, and reduces him back down to a little De Brazza's monkey that reaches out and clings onto your skirts before losing consciousness.

AIMEE: Can I talk to Opal? I mean, to Ted, even though it's not my turn?

AABRIA: Make an arcana check.

AIMEE: (sighs) Fuck. I'm rolling like shit. Two!

AABRIA: Anything you can do about it? Do you have inspiration?

AIMEE: Yes, no, I used it.

AABRIA: How badly?

AIMEE: Very badly, the number one thing I want to do.

AABRIA: You hear the skittering once more. "How long will you make me wait? I will help, but your opportunity." And you feel your attention pulled towards Dorian. Dariax. (laughter) A hundred feet away.

AIMEE: Well, I had this idea, but it wasn't my turn, that maybe when he dropped me so rudely! I might have grabbed the bag.

AABRIA: We'll see on your turn, but as of right now, that is not necessarily true.

AIMEE: Okay, I'm just saying, it might be fun.

AABRIA: We'll cut back, that's--

AIMEE: I'm just saying.

AABRIA: -- real spicy.

AIMEE: It's real spicy, but interesting.

AABRIA: It could be interesting, we'll see. But you reach out.

AIMEE: I'm just saying, she was like: Oh, oh! Oh no, what do I have here?

AABRIA: You reach out for Ted. You see her, and you see her seeing you in this moment.

AIMEE: But not just in that form.

AABRIA: And you are blocked. Yeah, you see past it--

AIMEE: Okay.

AABRIA: -- towards what's happening here, but you are blocked by the Spider Queen, who refuses to move out of your arcane vision, out of your way.

AIMEE: Mm-hmm.

AABRIA: "Do it." And you are incapable of reaching your sister.

AIMEE: Okay.

AABRIA: Okay. Dorian. You're up.

ROBBIE: You two killed--

AABRIA: Are you still in your wolf form?

ASHLEY: Still, yep, two hit points left.

AABRIA: Oh, all right. I got more, don't worry about it.

AIMEE: Me too.

AABRIA: I'm not worried.

ROBBIE: But the archer and the caster are both dead, right?

AABRIA: The archer and the caster are both dead, and there's just Myr'atta and Ted!

MATT: You'll be fine! It's fine.

ROBBIE: I'm not going to waste Dariax's epic save. So the first thing I'm going to do is-- Oh, do I have the slots? (lip buzz) Jeez. I'm going to cast just a level one Cure Wounds on myself.

AABRIA: Okay.

ROBBIE: Mm. Please be good.

AABRIA: No.

ROBBIE: (sarcastic laugh) One plus two equals three!

MATT: Hey, it's better than nothing!

AABRIA: Amazing.

ROBBIE: Cool, cool, cool, cool.

AABRIA: No, she's petty.

AIMEE: This is going to be a cemetery!

AABRIA: Do I do the mean thing?

AIMEE: No! (laughs)

MATT: Yes.

AABRIA: Ooh, she does the mean thing. She sees you reaching out, and beginning to cast a spell, and she casts Counterspell.

LIAM: (gasps)

ROBBIE: Oh no!

MATT: I rescind my excitement.

AIMEE: Yes! (laughter)

AABRIA: You do not take that healing back.

ROBBIE: Damn it!

AABRIA: The spell fizzles out in your hands.

ASHLEY: Oh wow.

ROBBIE: What was it? Was it three?

MATT: It was three.

ROBBIE: Okay, let me take that right on back. (laughter)

ROBBIE: (poofing) Fuck!

AABRIA: She didn't know it was going to not be that effective. She thinks it's very cool.

ROBBIE: (groans)

LIAM: Man.

ROBBIE: I am in such bad shape. I'm going to pop another potion.

AABRIA: Yep.

ASHLEY: Come on.

ROBBIE: Matt, I love you, but fuck your beautiful little potions. I'm going to roll this myself.

AABRIA: No!

ROBBIE: I'm going to roll it myself

AABRIA: That was hurtful. Sometimes words can hurt like a fist, Matt.

ROBBIE: This is going to do me, isn't it?

AIMEE: Yes.

MATT: Probably, yep.

AABRIA: Don't worry, I'll kill him for you.

MATT: Thanks.

ROBBIE: Four. Right down the middle again, didn't matter.

MATT: You're adding plus two to those rolls, right?

AABRIA: Are you adding plus two to that?

ROBBIE: What?

LIAM: It's the d4 plus--

AABRIA: Goddamn it.

MATT: It's 2d4 plus two.

ROBBIE: Yeah, oh, I did that last time, but no.

AABRIA: Okay, cool, cool, cool.

ROBBIE: This time, I did not, I'm sorry, six.

AABRIA: No, that's very important, we're--

ROBBIE: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so, I'm back. I'm feeling better, not quite as fucked up. (sighs) And I want to, I'm going to use all of my movement to--

AIMEE: Yeah.

ROBBIE: -- fly back up to my boy and--

AABRIA: You're going to be up here really close?

AIMEE: What?

ROBBIE: I'm going to fly up to-- I don't have anything ranged left. No, no, no!

AABRIA: No, do it. Do it!

ROBBIE: No! (laughter)

AABRIA: Do it.

ROBBIE: I appear to be a triangle between the head and her. I am just going to use all of my movement to go 30 feet straight up in the air, positioning myself at the peak of a triangle.

AABRIA: Love it.

ROBBIE: Okay.

LIAM: Not the hypotenuse.

AABRIA: Yeah.

ROBBIE: And then that's it.

AABRIA: Call this a Qoniira standoff.

ROBBIE: That's it for me. Action, bonus action, take the potion, motion.

AABRIA: You're great. All right, Opal, you're up. So did you want to try to boost the bag off of Dariax?

AIMEE: I mean, what is it going to cost me?

AABRIA: An action!

AIMEE: No. I-- (laughter) No.

AABRIA: I don't understand.

AIMEE: I mean, yes? Yes?

LIAM: Whatever you want to do.

AABRIA: It's whatever you want to do!

LIAM: In the story. What do you want to do in the story?

AIMEE: Oh man, I want to see my sister.

AABRIA: So, in this moment, what do you care about more?

AIMEE: Saving my sister.

AABRIA: Okay.

AIMEE: But I do know for a fact, my bonus action is to give a hit point to Dorian.

AABRIA: The one, just the one?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LIAM: I was advising that as bringing up from unconscious, like an EMT.

AIMEE: Oh, okay. Okay, so let me think that again.

AABRIA: You're also not within range to give him a hit point.

AIMEE: Okay, well then, I'm very sorry, sir. I have tried my best.

AABRIA: No, it's fine, one hit point is not amazing.

AIMEE: Because I thought he was still going to be unconscious.

ROBBIE: You don't have to make any more guilt-based choices!

AIMEE: Okay! (laughter)

AIMEE: Okay, here's what I want to do. I want to talk to Ted, and I want to get my spells back.

AABRIA: So you have a choice to make. You know how to get your spells back.

AIMEE: I know.

AABRIA: That will take your action.

AIMEE: Because then that's going to take the action. Can I talk to Ted as a bonus action?

AABRIA: No, the attempt to grab the crown--

AIMEE: Yeah.

AABRIA: To get the bag off of a flying person that's going 400 rounds of feet per second!

AIMEE: Who's holding me so I can just-- no, it's quick, it's a quick thing! It's like, ooh, no--

AABRIA: That's an action amount of time, yeah, agreed. We both agree on that.

AIMEE: That's not your arm, that's your back.

AABRIA: Yeah, to take it is an action.

AIMEE: I'm unprepared.

AABRIA: To put it on and access those powers is a bonus action. So are you going to spend your turn powering yourself up or not? What does Opal do?

AIMEE: I mean, if I can't talk to Ted, that's out--

AABRIA: No one said you couldn't talk to Ted.

AIMEE: Okay, well, I'm going to do that first. I'm going to do that first.

AABRIA: Okay. Make a-- You are focused on this. This is the thing that you're doing.

AIMEE: This is what I want.

AABRIA: Roll a charisma saving throw for me with advantage, as you finally bring your scattered mind to a single purpose.

AIMEE: That's a dirty 20.

AABRIA: Okay. What does it look like as you reach out successfully to your sister?

AIMEE: Well, first, I'm like: Ted, what do you look like? And second, what are you doing?

AABRIA: You ask what she looks like first, that's amazing. (laughter)

AIMEE: What's happening?

AABRIA: She begins to respond, but out loud. You hear the version of her voice, that gentle, a little scruffy, shy, but very similar to your family's, it reminds you a lot of what you remember of your mother, Paloma's voice, in your head. But everyone hears this gaping maw speak with a rumble that shakes the ground beneath you, because she is the ground beneath you. And she says, "Really?"

AIMEE: What?

AABRIA: "You're going to start with--?"

AIMEE: I'm sorry, I'm just, our family taught us better. But what are what's going on? Why are you doing this?

AABRIA: "I am not choosing this. She's been following. She's been watching. And she is pulling me from you."

AIMEE: How can we help you?

AABRIA: "Stop her. I'm already forgetting. I know. I know that the course of my life has been bent to be with you and protect you, but I don't know you."

AIMEE: You know me. We were born together.

AABRIA: "You, I am your patron."

AIMEE: No, you're my sister. Before that.

AABRIA: And even though you all don't hear it, you hear a small hitch of breath, a sigh of remembrance, and then a settling, a groaning, as it slips away, as she slips even farther away.

AIMEE: Don't go, Ted. What should I do? Tell me what to do.

AABRIA: "I don't know. Stop it. Or let me go. You've always been the strong one. You've been the sword. I have always been your shield, but I can't protect you from this. From her. It hurts."

AIMEE: (sighs) Fuck. I want to swipe the bag.

AABRIA: Okay. Make a-- We'll call this a sleight of hand check with disadvantage. And before you roll, I'm going to set the DC. The DC is a 14. If you roll a 14 or higher, you grabbed the bag. If you didn't, it's still on Dariax.

AIMEE: Okay.

AABRIA: And he is so far away.

AIMEE: I didn't grab the bag. It's a five.

AABRIA: You flex your hands, reflexively, and look at the moment that could have been. And you hear a low moan in the back of your mind as your sister feels that same loss, that opportunity, there with you. And you feel the tethers now in your shoulders, in your thighs, but they are connected to her still. And it hurts, but it's still there. But you have so much fight left in you.

AIMEE: But action economy.

AABRIA: All right. But action economy. (laughter) Is there anything you want to do with your movement?

AIMEE: Where am I right now?

AABRIA: Yonder.

AIMEE: Oh.

AABRIA: Sorry--

AIMEE: I guess I will use-- I mean, I only have 30 feet, so I'll go towards Myr'atta.

AABRIA: Okay. You begin scrabbling over this broken terrain in Myr'atta's direction, and you watch as Ted's eyes, glowing, follow you. Her mouth still open in that rictus of pain. All right, cool, cool, cool.

ASHLEY: Oh god.

AABRIA: Now it's Myr'atta's turn, and you're so close.

MATT: Yeah? What of it?

AABRIA: She's still got the spear buried in her.

MATT: Ooh.

AABRIA: She reaches forward, pulls herself just a little bit onto it so she can grab you, and casts Dispel Magic on your wings.

MATT: All right.

AABRIA: Let me see if this works. It's not really a roll, but I'm just curious. And as she grabs, you feel her nails pinch in on your shoulder.

MATT: (groans)

AABRIA: "I will take everything away." Your wings shatter, and you watch as little motes of light dissipate, and fall down as a gentle rain around you. And then she's going to attempt to push you off the hand. I want to treat this like a grapple. She's trying to manipulate your body to move you in a direction. So please make a strength saving throw.

MATT: All righty. I'm going to use my inspiration.

AABRIA: Okay.

AIMEE: What.

MATT: Natural 20.

AIMEE: Yeah!

ROBBIE: Oh yes!

AIMEE and ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

MATT: Low rolls the whole game! And then they're clutch for this!

ASHLEY: When we need them!

ROBBIE: Yes!

AABRIA: The dice tell a story. As she goes--

AIMEE: Yes!

AABRIA: -- once again, pushing herself a little farther onto your spear, so heavy, but she thinks she has you as she attempts to push, and you don't move.

AIMEE: Yes!

AABRIA: And she pushes harder, and it's like pushing against a wall, and you hear her scream, "Go!" And the mouth of Ted screams in unison, and you do not move.

MATT: I just keep looking back at her and say: Don't you know? Blood of the mountain in me, bitch. (laughter)

AABRIA: Amazing. All right. Orym, you're up. Fearne, you're on deck.

LIAM: Orym looks. He doesn't see the face yet. He just sees this big roiling mountain of a bulbous shape of stone moving and screaming, and a giant hand-- (laughter)

LIAM: -- and the dwarf, and the woman.

AABRIA: What a day! Uh huh?

LIAM: And he just says: Magic fucking bullshit. And he reaches down and picks up the dead elf's crossbow, and starts running up that column--

AABRIA: Smart.

AIMEE: Yes!

LIAM: -- that's laying along the back end of the map.

AABRIA: Amazing.

LIAM: I'll get as far up as you think he can get in his movement.

AABRIA: What's your movement speed?

LIAM: 30.

AABRIA: Are you dashing?

LIAM: No.

AABRIA: Okay, I'll get you right on to here.

LIAM: And he just swings it up: Ugly piece of shit.

AABRIA: It's a plus two crossbow.

LIAM: Fires a bolt.

AABRIA: Let's go.

LIAM: 15 plus two (counting).

MATT: Still got a d4.

AABRIA: Goddamn it! (laughter)

LIAM: 26 to hit!

ASHLEY: Yes!

ROBBIE: Whoa, jeez.

LIAM: Is it a heavy or light, BT Dubs?

AABRIA: Heavy.

LIAM: Hm?

AABRIA: It's a heavy crossbow.

LIAM: Heavy, okay.

AABRIA: Cool, cool, cool, cool.

LIAM: Cool.

AIMEE: (laughs)

AABRIA: Vibes, vibes, vibes.

LIAM: Four, that's 12 points of damage.

AABRIA: Even if I gave her partial cover, that's still hits. Yeah, what's the damage?

MATT: (laughs)

LIAM: 12 points of damage.

AABRIA: Amazing.

LIAM: And then for my bonus action, he's just going to breathe deep and I will use that bonus action to do Second Wind and get back--

AABRIA: Beautiful.

LIAM: -- some vigor. Five. That's it, donezo.

AABRIA: Beautiful, okay. Legendary action. How could she use this to your right there? And you won't get out of her way. She's still holding on to you. Yeah. Does an 18 hit?

MATT: Armor class 15 plus two with haste, 17. Yes, it does.

AIMEE: Aw.

AABRIA: And she reaches forward and she's still holding on to you. And the other hand grabs and clasps you tighter, and you feel that initial pinch of her nails and then something deeper as her eyes turn black and veins appear from under, flowing into you. And you hear in her voice, a language you've only seen written, that glyphic ring, that language older than the gods. In this place, she has channeled it and is summoning all of that strength into you to cast Inflict Wounds.

MATT: (sharp inhale)

AABRIA: And you understand her, but the rest of you hear both this whisper and groaning growl of, "I will not end (cough) here." And she coughs and blood pours out of her mouth from these wounds that she's been aggregating from all of you, from the spear still in her body, from the crossbow bolts sticking out of her side. You take 10 points of necrotic damage.

MATT: Okay, is this hand sloped?

AABRIA: Huh?

MATT: Is this hand sloped that I'm standing on?

AABRIA: A little bit, yeah.

MATT: Because I'm unconscious.

AABRIA: Oh. (laughs) She doesn't let you go, though. You sink into her hands and she pulls you in closely and looks over her shoulder at you, Orym, and says, "If you kill me, we will go together, and then who will save him?" And she holds onto your body as a security blanket.

AIMEE: Fuck.

AABRIA: Okay. Fearne, you're up.

ASHLEY: (groans) Okay.

AIMEE: Finish him!

ASHLEY: (exhales deeply) I can't do what I was going to do because I think-- Okay. Still in dire wolf form. How far to Opal?

AABRIA: Hm?

ASHLEY: How far to Opal?

AABRIA: It's going to be about 45 feet to get to Opal.

ASHLEY: Okay. Working through something in my head.

AABRIA: No, take your time. I'll offer this up. Opal, can you give me a perception check?

AIMEE: 19.

AABRIA: Nice. I wanted to see if the dice would allow me to tell a good story.

AIMEE: Please!

AABRIA: [Inaudible] natural one.

AIMEE: Please!

AABRIA: As you go unconscious, Dariax, your body slopes in, she's not paying attention to what's on your body, as a bag slips free and Opal, you watch as that leather pouch clangs down the arm and scatters to the bottom. Actually, pretty close to below where Dorian is hovering.

AIMEE: Where's that? Where's Dorian?

AABRIA: Dorian's right here.

AIMEE: Oh, okay, yeah, okay.

AABRIA: Do you know what you're doing?

ASHLEY: If I take extra movement--

AABRIA: Mm-hmm.

ASHLEY: -- am I somehow able to just leap and jump up to the hand? I don't know if that's--

AABRIA: What's your dire wolf's movement?

ASHLEY: 50 feet.

AABRIA: 50 feet in one round?

ASHLEY: 50 feet in one round, that's just the regular--

AABRIA: That's 100 feet away. So you've got the range if you use your dash, but I'm going to have you make an acrobatics check to try to, like, bark-cour since you're a dire wolf.

ALL: Bark-cour!

ASHLEY: Okay.

AIMEE: Whoa, whoa, whoa.

MATT: That's inspiration right there. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Okay. Am I adding dex?

AABRIA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

AABRIA: It's acrobatics.

ASHLEY: Okay, that would be 19.

AABRIA: Yeah, that does it. Go ahead and describe for me what it looks like as a dire Fearne scampers over this intense terrain and gets up to the hand.

ASHLEY: Standing there, seeing everything is just falling apart, just taking a running leap on top of the pillar, on top of the fence, the pillar by the hand and just leaping up, and just jumping right in front of her and just growling just the loudest roar, and--

AABRIA: Yeah, I'm going to twist the knife a little bit. So you just left Mister's body there?

ASHLEY: I did.

AABRIA: Okay.

ASHLEY: I did.

AABRIA: All right. So, to dash is your action, so do you have any bonus action things you want to do? Now that you're up in melee, as you see Myr'atta injured, weakened, feral, is holding, clutching onto Dariax's limp form, as she backs away towards the edge, so that if you deal a killing blow they will both fall off together.

ASHLEY: Bonus action, what can I do as a dire wolf? Jeez louise. Okay. I think just as a bonus action, I'm just going to try to... She's holding Dariax, isn't she?

AABRIA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: ♪ I'm a liability ♪

ASHLEY: No, you're not.

AABRIA: Of course, when you got up there, she swiveled, so that he is a little human shield between the two of you. And I don't have to remind you, you've played a lot of D&D, that if you do damage to her and you're not surgical about it, it hits him, and that's a crit. Two death saves, instantly.

MATT: Do it.

AABRIA: So what do you want to do?

ASHLEY: Can I, can I? I can't still take a bite, can I?

AABRIA: I don't think your bite is your bonus action.

ASHLEY: No. I'm just going to stay and growl.

AABRIA: Okay. Oh, go ahead and give me an intimidation check.

ASHLEY: Okay.

AABRIA: I like it scary. Scary pupper.

ASHLEY: (laughs) Natural one. (laughter)

AABRIA: Your roar is fearsome and mighty, but you see that this is a woman that doesn't have fear left anymore, only loss mitigation. Only desperately trying to figure out if there's a win to be carved here. She is past reasoning, because she is holding on to the last scraps of her life in this moment.

ASHLEY: Okay. That's my turn.

AABRIA: Dariax, I need you to make a death saving throw for me.

MATT: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's an eight. It's a failure.

AABRIA: That is one failure.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

AABRIA: Dorian. Oh, no, Ted's up. Ted's eyes slide from Opal and look up at you, of a height with her right now, and you see the flickering flash of arcane energy. And I need you to make a dexterity saving throw.

ROBBIE: Who's it going to be? You. (laughs) That's a natural 20.

MATT, AIMEE, and ASHLEY: Yes!

AIMEE: That's a #blessed.

MATT: (laughs)

ROBBIE: I'm going to leave you right there.

AABRIA: Amazing. Two little shards of the glowing crystal behind her eyes shear away and start to roll down like tears before they fly towards you. But they shoot, you dodge them, because you have many dimensions of movement. It's, like, three. (laughter) It's in three dimensions.

ROBBIE: Three is many.

AABRIA: Yeah.

AIMEE: Three is many!

ROBBIE: Yeah.

AIMEE: Three is few.

AABRIA: I'm very good at math. This is fine.

LIAM: Not two, not four. Three.

AIMEE: But few.

AABRIA: All right. That's her turn. Dorian, you're up.

ROBBIE: Wow, fuck.

AABRIA: Give me a perception check.

ROBBIE: Pfft, three.

AABRIA: Dang. Cool. You good. (laughter) There's big eyes staring at you, so I understand if your peripheral vision isn't quite what it used to be.

ASHLEY: ♪ Private Eyes ♪

ROBBIE: (groans)

AABRIA: Whatchu want to do?

ROBBIE: (sighs)

ROBBIE: I'm going to-- I'm going to use my movement to go straight to Dariax. I'm going to cut right over to him and land on the hand. And she's got him grappled, right?

AABRIA: Yeah, she literally turns to obscure him from you and she curls over his body, still threatening the edge and goes, "No."

ROBBIE: And I say, "No." And I grab them both, and as I grab them, I'm able to get just a tiny touch with Dariax's shoulder and cast--

AABRIA: Do you think you do?

ROBBIE: I hope so.

AABRIA: Well, we're going to roll about it, sir. (laughter)

AABRIA: But bless you for being like, I definitely touch her.

ROBBIE: I'm trying to describe it, then you can describe my failure, terrible.

AABRIA: Okay, okay, okay.

AIMEE: Yes! That's just vibes.

ROBBIE: That's what I'm trying to do.

AIMEE: It's what I want to do.

AABRIA: It's a bop.

ROBBIE: I'm trying to touch-- I just want to touch Dariax, somehow.

AABRIA: Okay. I need you to make-- What do I want to call this? Fuck it. Make an attack roll. If you can beat her DC, but this is an unarmed strike. Treat this like an unarmed strike.

ROBBIE: Okay.

AABRIA: If you can land the hit past her, I'll allow it.

ROBBIE: Okay, you have failed me for eight weeks. This is your moment.

AABRIA: What's one more week?

MATT: Redemption arc!

ROBBIE: (laughs)

AIMEE: Redemption.

ROBBIE: 14.

ASHLEY: Did you roll a--

ROBBIE: Oh, uh.

ASHLEY: No.

ROBBIE: Do I get Bless?

MATT: No, I'm unconscious.

ROBBIE: You're unconscious.

ASHLEY: You're out, you're out.

AABRIA: But finally. (laughter)

AABRIA: (groans)

ROBBIE: That is 14.

AABRIA: 14 doesn't hit.

MATT: Do you have inspiration? No.

AABRIA: Is there anything else you can do or add?

ROBBIE: I do have inspiration.

AABRIA: Okay, sir, I'm not going to tell you whether or not to use it, I'm saying I'm about to--

ROBBIE: My dead friend said he-- My dead friend told me to. Fuck you, come on, Mr. Dice.

AABRIA: I mean, or don't use it and you can join his ass in a second.

ROBBIE: No, I'm using it! (sighs)

AIMEE: Don't keep us in suspense.

ROBBIE: 17.

AIMEE: (sighs)

AABRIA: 17 just hits.

ASHLEY: Okay.

ROBBIE: You beautiful, beautiful baby. So I'll whip that arm around. If she's got him shielded, I'm going to whip that arm around both of them and get around her shoulder. And just get a tiny finger on Dariax, the nape of his neck, and I'll cast a--

AABRIA: Oh really, were you casting a spell?

ROBBIE: Yeah.

AABRIA: Oh, my reaction's back. She's going to attempt to Counterspell it.

ROBBIE: Okay. What do I have to do to challenge that?

AIMEE: Yes.

AABRIA: What's your spell level? See, in higher-level games this becomes an interesting economy, but...

ROBBIE: I want to do a touch base spell on Dariax. That's all I've ever wanted to do.

AABRIA: How badly do you want to do it?

ROBBIE: Badly, yeah.

AABRIA: Okay. You see, as she goes to speak the words of Counterspell, spiders begin to pour out of her mouth, choking her words and she screams and does not finish the spell. Go ahead.

ROBBIE: Pfft, all right. Then I will cast my last spell slot, I'll cast level two Cure Wounds.

MATT: Oh shit!

ROBBIE: So, 2d8 plus two.

MATT: Go for it, roll it.

ROBBIE: All right. Come back to me, little man. Oh sh-- Can someone look at this?

AIMEE: Take a picture! ASHLEY: 2d8?

ROBBIE: What's eight plus eight?

AABRIA: 16, you rad boy.

ROBBIE: Plus two, 18.

AIMEE: So wait, what does that mean for him?

ROBBIE: He gets 18 points.

LIAM: He's up.

AIMEE: Yes!

MATT: Oh, oh.

ASHLEY and AIMEE: (ascending glissando)

MATT: Oh, it's a beautiful thing.

LIAM: Level up.

MATT: Oh!

AIMEE: Level up, level up, level up.

AABRIA: You hear as the spell goes off, and you channel all of your fear and love for your friends into the spell and roll max healing, just in your ear, "That's a promise. Finish her." You have another action. What would you like to do?

ROBBIE: She's pretty fucked up?

AABRIA: She pretty fucked up, yeah. And she's now thrown off balance as this heavy-ass dwarf is now like, "Oh, okay. That's a live weight. It's weird. He's moving and making choices."

MATT: Oblong is a word you could use to describe him, I think, yeah.

AABRIA: Dump truck ass is what I would use, she's like, "Ah, it's too thick!" (laughter)

MATT: It's actually in my character description, yeah. (laughter)

AABRIA: And we're only getting that in the finale? I've run this game wrong; we're starting over.

AIMEE: We're starting over.

AABRIA: It's a dating sim now.

ROBBIE: Fucking characteristics.

AIMEE: He got a shelf butt.

AABRIA: He got a shelf butt, though.

ASHLEY: (laughs)

ROBBIE: And I haven't-- you're giving me an action, but I haven't used a bonus action. Can I still control gravity?

AABRIA: Yes, you can.

ROBBIE: I take that little finger.

AABRIA: It's only your gravity.

ROBBIE: Right.

AABRIA: Okay.

ROBBIE: I'm going to take that little finger, though, and I'm going to grab up the back of Dariax's collar, I'm going to make myself heavy again.

AABRIA: Oh.

ROBBIE: And for my attack, I'm going to use an unarmed strike and I'm going to try to throw her off the hand.

AABRIA: Oh.

AIMEE: Dope.

AABRIA: Go ahead and make an attack roll.

ROBBIE: My unarmed strike's okay.

AABRIA: Let's go. It's 17 to hit her with a melee attack.

ROBBIE: That would be 16 plus four, dirty 20.

AABRIA: It hits.

AIMEE: Oh, please land next to me.

ROBBIE: Ah.

AABRIA: You try to kick her off. Go ahead and make a athletics check and I'm going to make a strength save, to see if you-- Okay!

ROBBIE: Athletics.

AABRIA: I could be okay.

ROBBIE: My highest stat, 17. 11 plus six.

AIMEE: Take a sip.

MATT: (laughs)

ROBBIE: Did I throw her off the hand while I got my buddy?

MATT: (laughs)

AABRIA: You kick her, roll the damage.

ROBBIE: That's-- Oh, it's not much, but I just want her to go away. It just says, three.

AABRIA: Okay. You do three points. Where do you kick her?

ROBBIE: Ooh, right in the baby maker. Just right above the pelvis.

ASHLEY: Ooh.

AIMEE: I was going to say, baby is not going to hurt.

ROBBIE: Got her here, and it's just sort of a sidekick and it folds her in half as I send her launching off of the hand.

AABRIA: Oh wait, did I say that you pushed her off?

ROBBIE: Fuck! That's what I was trying to do! (laughter)

AABRIA: She doubles over and her hands finally letting go of Dariax, grab onto your clothing. And she sits down low and says, "I do not end this way!" She made it with an 18.

ROBBIE: Fucking cuddle puddle. Oh no.

MATT: (laughs)

ROBBIE: Worst.

AABRIA: All right.

MATT: That's a good try.

AABRIA: That was a good try. Opal, you're up.

AIMEE: Okay, she's still on the hand?

AABRIA: She's still on the hand, but is having a very bad day.

AIMEE: Okay. I'm going to use my movement. I can't get on the hand, I mean, how would I do that?

AABRIA: You're going to struggle to get up there.

AIMEE: Yeah, how would I do that? I can't. (sighs)

AABRIA: Ted's eyes flash back towards you and watches in this moment of indecision.

AIMEE: Can I talk to Ted?

AABRIA: Of course you can. You don't have to roll for it anymore.

AIMEE: I don't know what to do, I'm out of options. I don't know what to do.

AABRIA: "Come to me."

AIMEE: In your mouth?

AABRIA: She doesn't answer back. (laughs) You hear a apologetic whimper.

AIMEE: Okay, okay, so, okay. My options are I go for the bag or I go for Ted?

AABRIA: What do you want to do? You know what the bag will do. You don't know what running into her open mouth will do. In fact, give me an insight check.

AIMEE: Yes, please.

AABRIA: Yeah! Okay. You can ask for them, too, shit.

AIMEE: Oh, I can? Oh, that's a natural 20.

ASHLEY: Yes!

AABRIA: Oh my god.

MATT: That's amazing.

AABRIA: Damn.

MATT: Back-to-back to back-to-back.

ROBBIE: Savage.

LIAM: It's busy game.

MATT: Scripted, y'all.

ASHLEY: Yeah. (laughs)

AABRIA: The writers on the show are excellent.

MATT: Really good. (laughter)

AABRIA: You hear as she says that, there's a turn to-- The way she put it, it wasn't-- It's not the cadence you know. Not to mention that Ted is fiercely independent. That's a phrase you've probably never heard her say.

AIMEE: Yes.

AABRIA: And with that, you're just at the very edge of your perception, ever so aware that up high, as you are looking back between the hand and Ted, even in this moment where you were locked in talking to her, Myr'atta's lips moved at the same time, and that was not a message from your sister.

AIMEE: Okay. I'm going to go for the bag. How far is it away?

AABRIA: You'll get there.

AIMEE: Okay, so I'll get there.

AABRIA: What do you want to do once you're there? Goddamn it.

LIAM: I'm going to eat you.

AABRIA: Not me.

ROBBIE: Two points of poking damage.

AABRIA: Okay, this hair is very bad for maps. (laughter)

AIMEE: But good for looks. How close are my friends to Myr'atta? Is she using either of them as a shield at this point or not really?

AABRIA: She's surrounded by your squad. I don't know what to tell you. What are you asking me? They are mobbing her.

AIMEE: Do I have a clear shot on her?

AABRIA: Oh, you do not have a clear shot, no, no, no, no. But you've just grabbed the bag. What do you do once you have the bag? It's been eight weeks, this is where...

AIMEE: I just feel like...

ASHLEY: Oh, it's a tough decision.

AABRIA: What do you do?

AIMEE: Okay, I'm just going to talk out loud.

AABRIA: Yeah.

AIMEE: So, I feel like she is so close to dying. But so are my friends.

AABRIA: Who?

AIMEE: Myr'atta.

AABRIA: Okay, yeah.

AIMEE: But so are my friends.

AABRIA: Mm-hmm.

AIMEE: And I don't know what Ted needs to be broken from the spell other than killing her. But I can't kill her from where I'm at, with what I have or don't have.

AABRIA: I mean, you have Eldritch Blast and you can use that.

AIMEE: I know, but you said that my friends are--

AABRIA: It's not a clear shot. It doesn't mean it's an impossible shot. It just means that there's a chance it'll get fun for me.

AIMEE: Okay. I'm going to do Eldritch Blast.

ASHLEY: We can take it, we can take it.

ROBBIE: Hold me.

MATT: I got you, buddy.

AABRIA: Before you do that, I need you to make a wisdom saving throw.

AIMEE: (sighs) 16.

AABRIA: (as Spider Queen) "Why are you hesitating?"

AIMEE: Because you have given me no assurances about anything. You just want me to put this fucking crown on and you can still kill, and--

AABRIA: "I want you to hold your power."

AIMEE: But I don't want power, I want to save my friends, bitch, so give me that option and I'll put it on.

AABRIA: "What do you think it's going to take?"

AIMEE: I don't know. What do you mean? What?

AABRIA: "You want the power to save your friends."

AIMEE: I don't want the power, I just want to save my friends.

AABRIA: "Then fine, take the shot. Try not to kill them. See what I care. Fucking coward."

ROBBIE: Don't kill us.

AABRIA: Her AC has gone up significantly, because she has got cover behind.

AIMEE: Her AC has gone up?!

AABRIA: Yeah, dog.

ROBBIE: Roll good.

AABRIA: Roll good! Roll good, or wear a hat.

MATT: Your choice, your choice.

AABRIA: What do you want in this moment? Do you want to confirm the kill?

AIMEE: Yes.

AABRIA: Then put on the hat. (laughs)

ASHLEY: Ooh.

AABRIA: Y'all have walked around with a fucking vestige for a full campaign. It would be-- I would be remiss if I didn't do everything in my power to get you to put it on. See what it's like. I bet it's great. Do what you want to do. I'm done talking to you. Make a choice.

AIMEE: (sniffles and sighs) (sighs) Okay, sorry. Can I talk to the spider bitch again? (laughter)

AABRIA: "I would prefer if you didn't call me that, but hello."

AIMEE: If I put this on.

AABRIA: "Yeah?"

AIMEE: Will I guarantee kill her? What do I get?

AABRIA: Make a persuasion check.

AIMEE: That's an eight.

AABRIA: "Sure. You'll kill her. I'll make sure you finish the job."

AIMEE: (sighs) Okay.

AABRIA: "If you don't trust yourself, trust me."

AIMEE: I don't trust you.

AABRIA: "I have seen things that you can't even imagine. I was here when the earth was ripped from the planes and formed into this. I have fought gods and heroes. I am older than time. I can kill one bitch. Just trust me. Trust yourself."

AIMEE: I don't trust you. (laughs) (sighs)

AABRIA: "Then you've already lost. You have to believe in something."

AIMEE: I believe in my sister.

AABRIA: "She's barely your sister at this point."

AIMEE: No, she's not; she's fully my sister.

AABRIA: "Well, then you should do whatever it takes to save her."

AIMEE: Okay, so I know as a player that this is fucking stupid.

AABRIA: I'm having a very good time. I enjoy Dungeons & Dragons very much.

AIMEE: I'm trying to get a telepathic message.

ASHLEY: I don't know what I would do.

LIAM: There's no wrong choices.

MATT: Yeah.

AIMEE: Yes, there is!

MATT: Not really. The story goes on regardless. All choices lead to interesting story.

AIMEE: Okay, I really think that Opal has spent so long trying to get away from Ted and now all she wants is for Ted to be safe, and she's going to put it on.

ROBBIE: Oh yeah!

ASHLEY: Yes!

ROBBIE: Oh boy!

MATT: (giggles)

ASHLEY: I'm into it.

AABRIA: You grab the crown, and you hold it over your head, and before you can finish, because you're still, even in that last second, hesitating, you feel the thorns get a little longer and reach and touch your scalp and begin to bury themselves into your scalp. You feel the fresh flow of blood, and as you see a little bit of it drip off of your eyelash over your eye, it's so dark. Black. Sticky. Thick. And you don't feel the pain of it. You only feel a surge of energy. Please take the effect of a long rest. Your hit points come back up, your spell slots come back. And I need you to describe to me, what does Ted look like?

AIMEE: Now?

AABRIA: No. We all see this lovely potato. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Potato!

AIMEE: Ted--

AABRIA: What did Ted look like?

AIMEE: Ted is Opal but without the makeover. Without the dye job. So she's got brown hair, it's in a French braid, and she wears very sensible clothing, and-- Yeah, is just an inch shorter than Opal and less sparkly. But she looks just like her, she just doesn't have the accoutrement of glamor.

AABRIA: You all see, as the Circlet of Barbed Vision settles on her head, her hair seems to go slippery and wet as the dye job slips away and shows that brown underneath, but then grows back in, first black, and then pure, shocking white, actually opalescent, not a dye job, the real you, and your eyes go dark black and the curve of your lips, that little snarling smile, is more your sister's than yours, and you change just a little bit, and you can feel it the entire time. This is the Spider Queen's joy, is twisting the appearance of others. But the thing that she takes the most delight in is forcing you to reckon with the fact that you and your sister are a union of souls, and you will always look like it. Your body gets just a little wider, stronger, less concerned about aesthetics and more concerned about power. The effect of the vestige takes place. Your charisma will drop by two, but your dexterity will go up by two also. I need you to make your attack roll.

AIMEE: First, though, can I take a bonus action of Misty Stepping a little closer to her?

AABRIA: I'll allow it.

AIMEE: Okay.

AABRIA: You can get right up in there. You appear behind her.

AIMEE: I think instead of Eldritch Blast, instead of Eldritch Blast, I'd like to take out my dagger.

AABRIA: Yeah.

ROBBIE: Oh boy.

AIMEE: And I would like to slit her throat.

AABRIA: Yeah. And your hand slides out faster than you can even see as you grab her by the back of her hair, pull her neck open. Go ahead and make an attack roll for me with advantage.

AIMEE: That's pretty good.

AABRIA: You all see her--

AIMEE: Oh, wow. Two 17s.

AABRIA: Okay. Plus anything? Or is it 17 on the dice, or?

AIMEE: 17 on the dice, but what do I add? Anything?

AABRIA: Add to your dagger attack.

AIMEE: Oh, shit! Yeah, yeah, yeah, hold on.

AABRIA: Let's go! Come through, Hexblade!

AIMEE: 22!

ASHLEY: Yes!

AABRIA: An absolute hit, and all of you see, standing before you, Opal, different, fiercer, stronger. As you grab her by the head and run the blade across her throat, roll your damage.

AIMEE: Five.

AABRIA: Don't even have to write it down. She was doing very badly for a very long time. So how do you want to do this?

MATT: (laughs)

ASHLEY: (gasps) Yes!

AABRIA: As you hear the Spider Queen laugh in your ear.

AIMEE: She grabs her by the back of the head very tightly, almost like she wants to pull the hair out of her fucking scalp.

AABRIA: You feel it give a little bit. You rip.

AIMEE: Yeah.

AABRIA: Pulling half of her hair out, but you still have a hold.

AIMEE: And then she grabs the dagger from where she keeps it near her ankle and she puts it to her throat and she says: You can't have her. And then slices it as hard as she can, and I don't know what that does.

AABRIA: You cut through and you feel the scrape, you feel the rush of what blood was left in her splash over your hand, and you feel the resistance of her spine as you run your blade through her flesh and across it, and her mouth opens as if to speak, but this was too lethal, too much all at once, and it just hangs open.

AIMEE: I feel like I want to take her head or maybe move my own body and I want her to stare into my eyes as she dies.

AABRIA: You turn and you hold her, holding her by the head. It opens up even more as she spills out that last in her, and she just stares at you, and she blinks, and blinks again, and you see that same crystal glow from the summoning of Ted into this world, and she blinks again, and you see Ted's dark eyes, and she blinks again and they're her own gray eyes as the light finally leaves them, and she goes limp in your arms. And it's over. So what do you want to do?

AIMEE: Do I have anything left? Any bonuses? No.

AABRIA: Okay, calm down with the initiative thing, you killed the bad guy.

AIMEE: Okay, okay. Well, I was going to give some healing to people, but honestly I just want to know where my sister is. What does that mean, now that she's gone? What does that mean?

AABRIA: I mean, you see the construct still there, standing, mouth agape. You're out of initiative, but this isn't over yet. So what do you want to do? That's a question to everyone.

AIMEE: I want to talk to Ted, that's what I want, but I don't know--

AABRIA: We'll see what everyone else is doing first. We'll come back around to you. You had a big round and I'm very proud of you.

AIMEE: I know.

AABRIA: Thanks for putting on the hat. How's everyone doing?

LIAM: Orym watched all of that happen from a distance, saw her down there, saw the change, saw her suddenly appear up there, saw what happened. He throws the crossbow down and pulls his blade back out and he looks at Dorian and Dariax, who he has been worried on and off about for weeks and centers on Opal as he comes down off of the column to the base of it, 30 feet away from the bottom of the arm, and just watches and waits.

AABRIA: Okay. Give me-- Give me an arcana or insight check? You can tell me what kind of check you want to make right now. You are a man accustomed to watching and sensing danger, so what are you trying to figure out?

LIAM: I'll make a history check.

AABRIA: Okay.

LIAM: From everything that I've heard and overheard from people far wiser than me.

AABRIA: Okay.

LIAM: 23.

AABRIA: Your mind reaches back to stories, liturgies, about the gods of Tal'Dorei, of Exandria, of the Betrayer Gods and the Divine Gate, of good and of evil. You've heard so many stories, but you've heard new ones, too. Ideas from the Tetrarchs in Niirdal-Poc, an idea of power, raw and unadulterated, lacking distinction, simply calling out to be used, and that flows with everything that you see around you as the miasma that's given you strength, that's given others insane abilities, that's allowed Ted to be summoned from deep within your friend's soul and brought into the world. It's just power, and even though this vestige was marked by the Spider Queen, it is wielded by a friend, and she can decide what she will make of it.

LIAM: That still leaves him watching silently.

AABRIA: Anyone else?

MATT: Uh. That's literally what he's doing. Uh. Just staring at Opal, crimson-splattered, the body crumbling of our antagonist, and glancing-- looking at Opal, but also facing towards Dorian and Fearne a bit with the face, like: Opal, you-- you okay?

AIMEE: Am I okay?

AABRIA: Are you?

AIMEE: What would I roll for that? I'd like to know if there's anything that's changed in my--

AABRIA: Look. Look at me.

AIMEE: Yeah?

AABRIA: We've been playing this for weeks now.

AIMEE: Yeah.

AABRIA: The stats are guidelines. You know your character. So how is Opal doing?

AIMEE: I think she's really scared.

MATT: Opal, you okay?

AIMEE: (uncertain whimper) I don't know.

MATT: All right. Okay.

ASHLEY: I go over. I'm still in wolf form with two points left, and I start trying to lick her hands and clean off the blood.

MATT: I look over towards Dorian. Let's get you down. Let's get you down where it's safe.

ASHLEY: I'm going to lift her, lift her up.

ROBBIE: I have a question. Do you recall, do we still have the residuum in our bag somewhere?

AABRIA: You do.

ROBBIE: Who has it? Dariax or Orym, one or the other.

LIAM: ♪ It's been a while ♪ I think I have some.

AABRIA: I think it was-- I remember it as Orym, but it could be someone else. You could all have some, I don't know.

ROBBIE: And one environmental question, then I'm done with questions.

AABRIA: No, I love questions!

ROBBIE: Does it seem like muddy Ted has stopped moving? They're sort of inanimate, or--?

AABRIA: She's paused, yeah, but you, looking at her-- It's strange, you see a sense of breathlessness, panting.

ROBBIE: Orym, do you still have the residuum?

LIAM: I do.

ROBBIE: Can I see it? I'm going to take it in this bag or whatever, and some of it out, and I say: Opal, do you trust me?

AIMEE: Yes.

ROBBIE: Because I want to try something.

AIMEE: Okay.

ROBBIE: And I'm going to take a piece out and I'm just going to touch it to one of the pieces on her body, and then see if I can make a connection. Can I pull a string from the residuum? Can I continue this connection that she has?

AABRIA: Make a spell attack roll for me.

ROBBIE: 18, because I don't-- Well, I don't know what my spell attack is.

AABRIA: Is that an 18 on the dice?

ROBBIE: Yes.

AABRIA: Oh, shit, okay. It's whatever that modifier is to hit. I know a lot of your things are saves.

ROBBIE: They're all saves, yeah.

AABRIA: Go to above--

ROBBIE: Plus four, 22.

AABRIA: Perfect. Yeah, with a 22, you reach out with a little shard of the residuum and you touch it, and you quirk your head, and you tap it like a tuning fork. A very specific, clear tone emerges from it. You're able to pull, and you feel something catch as you create a new tether.

ROBBIE: So I'm going to take that piece very carefully and use my boots and my movement remaining and flutter over to the head.

AABRIA: Mm-hmm.

ROBBIE: And hover by it.

AABRIA: It turns and regards you.

ROBBIE: Fuck. (laughs)

AIMEE: It turns what?

AABRIA: It turns to regard him.

AIMEE: Oh.

AABRIA: It watches you, it turns as you come over.

ROBBIE: I'm going to stare it down, and I'm just going to take this piece and put it in and see if it reacts--

AABRIA: In where?

ROBBIE: Right in the center of its forehead, into the muck and mire, and see if I can plug one little piece in.

AABRIA: With a 22, you push in, and for the first couple seconds it feels like flesh, hard to penetrate, and then you focus. You think about that sound again. You don't realize it, but you start humming, pitch perfect, and you push, and it slips in, and you can feel and almost see that the connection is preserved.

ROBBIE: And it's not fucking with me? It's not regarding me anymore?

AABRIA: I mean, she's still looking at you. She's very confused about what's happening.

ROBBIE: I am going to start taking out the rest of the residuum and pulling from my memory, from what we saw in the glyphs, I'm going to try to spell Opal with residuum. I'm going to try to make the glyph that we saw.

AABRIA: Amazing. Go ahead and make... Make a history check. If anyone else wants to help, you can give him advantage.

ASHLEY: Yes.

AIMEE: I want to help.

MATT: I'd probably give disadvantage if I tried.

AABRIA: No!

ROBBIE: Not great.

ASHLEY: Roll again.

AIMEE: Roll again.

ROBBIE: What?

AIMEE: Advantage, advantage.

ROBBIE: Oh, advantage? Okay. 10.

AABRIA: You begin. Where are you trying to trace these runes?

ROBBIE: Right in the center of his third eye, right there. I'm trying to recall from my memory of the things that we saw. I feel like I remember the list of things that we saw, like minerals, and I'm trying to piece together what the glyph for Opal would look like.

AABRIA: I want all of you to make a check for me. I want you to decide what it is as you watch and see your friend struggling, but you realize what he's attempting to do. You can tell me what the roll is. Is it arcana? Is it history to remember? Is it religion for this sort of deific language? You tell me what you roll. Orym.

LIAM: I'll roll history again. I'm feeling really out of my depths. I'm good at swords. 18.

AABRIA: You are good at more than swords, and as you come around to see Dorian's progress, your brow furrows a little bit, and you see that though he's begun, the way these glyphs work is a description of a thing. It's not "opal." It's stone that catches fire and glimmers like stars, and you begin to shout up corrections, ideas, the beginnings of something more complex to encapsulate your friend. Fearne. What do you roll?

ASHLEY: I feel like-- I feel like this is trying to save a life, so I guess medicine.

AABRIA: I love that.

ASHLEY: Oh, that was just a journey. Not a good one. Six.

AABRIA: Have you used your inspiration?

ASHLEY: No! (laughter)

ASHLEY: It's cocked. Okay. 19.

AABRIA: Amazing. You're watching the carving of these glyphs, and then, this tremendous compassion for life, because even though you're a wildfire druid, your primary domain is life, and you know that the things that this is missing, that connection that you need to maintain, is one of life, and you add, you shout up, that she's not just a stone, but a person, a sibling, a loved one, a connection. And as you shout these things, the sigil that you're carving continues to change and grows in complexity. You're getting closer. Dariax, what do you roll?

MATT: Most of my focus has been on Opal at this point, but I hear the conversation, glance over, and while I don't fully grasp the concept of what Dorian's doing, I also physically touched those runes, and I'm like: It's supposed-- There's supposed to be a line in the, hold on. And he takes the spear and climbs down the hand and goes over and starts climbing up the side of the earth structure, that I think probably at this point he's been so focused on other things he doesn't realize this is a giant head yet.

AABRIA: Oh god! (laughs)

MATT: He just thinks it's a weird, lumpy mountain.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

AABRIA: Amazing. Bless.

MATT: But he climbs up and starts taking his thumb and trying to correct his stuff and I think it's just a straight dexterity check to see if he can recreate these runes accurately.

ROBBIE: I'll half my residuum that we're making this out of with Dariax, so I'll give him some so he can help me.

AABRIA: Okay, as you're physically interacting, he's providing the help action, so you roll yours with advantage.

MATT: All right. 18.

AABRIA: The forms come, and almost without knowing where they're supposed to end, like an artist just following shapes and hoping the thing will emerge, it becomes clearer, more precise. You're almost there. One more. Opal, what do you do?

AIMEE: I feel like Opal's sort of desperate, so the only thing you can do when you're desperate is to try to persuade the thing to go your way, so persuasion.

AABRIA: Who are you trying to persuade?

AIMEE: The fucking-- Ted, I guess. Like, persuade her to come back.

AABRIA: Okay. Make a persuasion check.

AIMEE: (sighs) Lucky number 13, baby! (laughter)

ASHLEY: Coming back around.

AIMEE: Call back.

AABRIA: And you are begging. You drop to your knees and cry out for Ted, and you can feel that even with that new tether, provided by Dorian, she's slipping away. She's almost gone. You're almost free, but that's not what you want. And you're begging, it doesn't just reach out to her, it's to anything. And that miasma of energy, once blue, now purple, and resolving back into blue again and beginning to fade, as the sun begins to drop below the canopy, you ask power itself, potential, for help. Make a new roll, something else. But make it with advantage, as power reaches back to you, flows into you.

AIMEE: Pick? Or not?

AABRIA: Pick a new roll.

AIMEE: Pick a new roll?

AABRIA: Yeah, make a new roll. What are you trying to do to finish this? If you really want it to be persuading your sister to allow this to happen, to let it finish.

AIMEE: No. I guess maybe she's not in control of it, right? I'm assuming. Would it be religion?

AABRIA: I don't hate that.

AIMEE: Just literally. What do you do when you're so desperate? You just pray.

AABRIA: Yeah. Roll with advantage.

AIMEE: (sighs) Okay. 16. No, no, no. Yeah, 16, fuck. (groans) At least it wasn't 13.

AABRIA: (laughs) It wasn't 13. You're good. And you reach out. And then you see. You start-- it's a prayer, it begins as a prayer, a beseeching to something. But then it moves past that, because you have that realization. But as you ask, you get it. And you go from prayer, from a pilgrim attempting something, to something closer to a cleric. Someone that understands the nature of religion, not of the gods, not even the one that has granted you this vestige, but just power and potential. And in that moment, in that space and breath of understanding, you can understand the glyphic language, and you know the forms. And you shout and help your friends finish. As you successfully carve the rune that means Opal, that means sister, and family, and home, and safety, and belonging. That's what Opal is. Not just to Ted, but to all of you. And the ritual completes, and you feel and see as the last bits of that energy scatter out and away and leave you in the last moments of a blue hour on a beautiful night as the stars begin to unfurl and unfold and shine down on you. And the light in Ted's eyes moves from purple to that same blue of the sky, and flashes like an opal in the firelight before dimming, and everything begins to sink back down into the ground. Those of you in the hand, gently ride it back down to the level of the ground. Those of you on the head, coast and cascade down. As Ted goes back, as she retreats from the physical world, and goes home. And it gets really quiet for a long moment. And then you begin to hear out and far away because the surrounding jungle is still leveled from the force of everything that's happened here. But life begins to stir again, and you can hear, off in the distance, the sounds of the jungle returning.

ASHLEY: I run over to Opal and I just grab her and hold her. (sighs) I'm sorry.

AIMEE: Me, too.

ROBBIE: I watch all of this, slowly, flutter down to Dariax and just glance over at him and reach my hand out for a gentle low-five so no-one can see.

MATT: (quiet hand slap) (laughter)

LIAM: Is she gone?

AIMEE: I think maybe Opal would try one more time, to see if she could connect with her.

AABRIA: Make a charisma saving throw.

AIMEE: Did my charisma go down?

AABRIA: Yeah. By two.

AIMEE: So that is a 10.

AABRIA: It's okay. It's not very hard because this is a part of you. It would take a great act to distract you from that feeling as you look inward. And you don't see her, but you feel her. She's exhausted, but safe. You feel whole again, in your way. She's there and she's okay.

AIMEE: Is she alive?

AABRIA: In her way.

AIMEE: Fuck.

AABRIA: Opal, I want you to make a history check for me.

AIMEE: That is a nine.

AABRIA: You're good. You're feeling a lot of feelings right now, and putting together clues from your life is a difficult thing to do. That's what time likes and perspective and not being fresh in the moment, but your mind drifts back towards your mother. And she left. There was always something strange to her. You remember, as a child, looking up at her as she would get lost in a mirror, deep in contemplation. Her gaze turned inward on herself. And something about that sparks recognition, and the beginnings of a question... for another time.

ASHLEY: I'm going to go over to Mister's body and I'm going to pick him up. And I think I have this spell. Yes, I do. I'm going to cast Cure Wounds on him.

AABRIA: Go ahead and roll your healing.

ASHLEY: That's weird. Oh. Okay. Eight points.

AABRIA: You hold onto--

ASHLEY: Sorry guys, I didn't realize I had the [inaudible]. (laughter)

ROBBIE: You were doing murder bites, it's all right.

AABRIA: It's okay.

ASHLEY: When you were up on the hand, I was like, "Oh, whoops."

AIMEE: There it is. (laughter)

AABRIA: For whatever it's worth, they would have no idea that this looks like Cure Wounds because as you wrap and fold yourself around Mister, a blaze begins, that starts in your chest and spreads to him and consumes him, but does not destroy him. But you look down through the blaze, which is warm and comforting to you, but it ravages that little oasis. The ferns catch. The wood catches. The tree is sent up as if it was old and dried, and not full of water in the middle of a rainforest, in the middle of a jungle. It is consumed utterly. And yet you, in the ashes, when all else falls away, you're holding Mister, who's looking up at you with giant eyes and open mouth, full of bright, happy orange flame. As he grabs onto your cheek and brings them close, as he gives you a playful bite on the nose. And holds your face.

ASHLEY: You did so well.

AABRIA: (happy exhaling)

ASHLEY: I give him a bite back.

AABRIA: (happy exhaling) And he nuzzles into you.

MATT: When the anxiety fades of the near forest fire that burst forth and then put itself out.

AABRIA: Yeah, a little bit. (laughter) (sighs) Okay. You all right? Is her eyes still black with the crown on?

AABRIA: Mm-hmm.

LIAM: And does the crown look painful and is her head bleeding?

AABRIA: The crown, if you-- I mean, you have a high passive. You see that the crown is buried in, but what's running off isn't blood. But whatever it is, it's stopped flowing.

MATT: I'm not going to lie, you look pretty cool.

AIMEE: I think then that's when Opal realizes she has it on. I mean, she's probably known, but as powerful as it is, I think she would take it off. She'd take it off. So she takes it off.

AABRIA: You can certainly try.

AIMEE: Oh, she can't?

AABRIA: Give me-- Give me a charisma saving throw.

AIMEE: Okay. Oh, fuck me. Hold on, let me count. (hands thump) (laughter) 13! (laughter) Damn!

AABRIA: A number too auspicious. I can't, I can't not play with it. You wrap your hands around and you feel the actual pricks of it in your skin and you feel that it immediately draws blood from your fingertips.

AIMEE: As I take it out or?

AABRIA: As you grab it.

AIMEE: Okay.

AABRIA: And then you hear, "(tutting) Why don't you keep it on for a while, then decide?" And you try to pull it free, and you feel it shifting something below your skin. It seems a little bit ill-advised to try to pull free right now. You can certainly keep going, but you will take damage.

AIMEE: Well, hope it looks good because it's a staying on.

ASHLEY: I love it.

AIMEE: Thanks.

ASHLEY: I actually think it's a much more beautiful crown than the one you won in the pageant.

AIMEE: Oh, thank you. I don't feel evil, so?

LIAM: I think we're just glad you're okay.

AIMEE: Thank you.

LIAM: That we're all okay.

MATT: Are you okay?

AIMEE: Yeah. Anybody needed any hit points or healing?

LIAM: I'm all right.

ASHLEY: I'm okay.

ROBBIE: Same. Maybe if we camp tonight, try to take it off again?

AIMEE: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll try to. I'm going to work on it.

ROBBIE: Sure.

AIMEE: Maybe like a little lube or something.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Maybe you just live with it for a few days.

AIMEE: Yeah.

ROBBIE: Or maybe she tries to take it off tonight.

ASHLEY: Or she can try to take it off.

AABRIA: As you all fall into this pattern, relief and exhaustion taking over as the night sky fully blooms out before you, we end.

ASHLEY: No.

AABRIA: But this isn't the end. There really aren't any endings here. The world keeps going, and your story keeps going, and this is just the beginning of a new and glorious story for you all. But it is a story for another time. And as the sun sinks away, you all are walking into your proverbial sunset. So my last question for you, and I didn't think I was going to cry, but, what direction are you all walking in and with whom?

LIAM: (sighs)

AABRIA: Dorian?

ROBBIE: No, no.

AABRIA: If you're not ready yet, it's okay, I'll go to someone else.

ROBBIE: No, no, I-- I look to Orym like I always have for direction, and see if I'll follow.

LIAM: I'm really not a leader.

ROBBIE: But you're the best with maps.

LIAM: I won't turn down the company.

ROBBIE: Umejii's still out there.

LIAM: We definitely did not find Umejii.

ROBBIE: We're still being hunted by a ton of assassins.

LIAM: Are we? Maybe we nip that in the bud. Best to assume not, though.

MATT: Oh, no, they'll still be coming after us, it's a thing.

AABRIA: Dariax. You are so often blown by the whims and wind of the world. What are you going to do? Do you stay? Do you go?

MATT: I am, to a fault, a follower when someone shows me a course of leadership. I think, based on this experience, until the wind blows heavy enough to blow him off course, he's going to be anchoring himself to this core group, which, as he's looking around and looking at everybody, exhausted, coming to rest for the night, he goes like: How about the Crown Keepers?

ROBBIE: Crown Keepers?

ASHLEY: Well, that's interesting.

ROBBIE: I mean, if Opal could use it, surely we all could use it from time-to-time?

MATT: Well, at the very least, if we're keeping to Opal.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

AIMEE: Yeah, I mean, if you don't mind at some point stopping back by my town, so I could tell my dad about Ted or maybe she's there? I don't know where she is. But yeah, the Crown Keepers is a great name!

ROBBIE: Who doesn't love alliteration? Am I right?

AIMEE: Yeah.

MATT: Right? Right? We can come up with another idea once we get rid of this thing, but until then?

LIAM: I'll go with any name, but I can definitely get behind friends.

AABRIA: Fearne, what do you do?

ASHLEY: I-I-I had some things that I-I needed to do, but I think there's still some things that we maybe need to complete. And I don't think I'm ready to leave you all yet. Because thinking about that just makes me very sad. So, let's just keep going.

MATT: Yeah, we're this close. We find this Umejii person, get 'em back safe and sound, and then we can have this conversation again.

AIMEE: Maybe we can help you do the things you wanted to do.

ASHLEY: Yeah. Yeah!

ROBBIE: I don't really care what we do, as long as I'm with you.

LIAM: Start with Umejii. And maybe start trekking back north and figure it out from there.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: You want to stop home again?

AIMEE: I guess I could just write a letter or something.

MATT: I don't know, I'm out of pies.

ASHLEY: Well, maybe we should show them that, you know, you're a Forever Gem of Byroden.

AIMEE: Yeah.

ASHLEY: In a new glorious crown.

MATT: Yeah.

ROBBIE: Oh, and after that, we take the show on the road. The Black Swan, we still have a standing gig, right?

MATT: That's true.

ASHLEY: Oh, that's right!

MATT: Eduard already got his information!

ROBBIE: Tharla Starr and the Stars.

MATT: All right, all right!

AIMEE: Tharla Starr and the Stars!

MATT: Okay, okay. I think we've got a plan.

ASHLEY: We have a lot to do, we have a lot to do, okay.

ROBBIE: I told you you were a leader. (laughter)

LIAM: Orym just quiets down completely and listens to them laugh and talk and smile and is so happy to be seeing that, and it's good to have a circle of friends like this. and the whole time, he's also just (sighs), watching that crown.

AIMEE: I know, it's not very pretty.

LIAM: He thinks that's a problem for tomorrow.

AABRIA: That's a problem for tomorrow, and a story for another day. So that's where we'll close the first season of Exandria Unlimited. Okay. (sighs) I didn't kill any of you and I want to so badly. (groans)

LIAM: That last 10 minutes was the sweetest shit ever.

ASHLEY: Yeah, it really was.

AABRIA: You are the cutest. It has been such an honor to play and run for you guys, thank you.

ASHLEY: I love you!

AABRIA: I love you.

MATT: I love you.

ROBBIE: I love all of you.

ASHLEY: I love all you nerds.

AIMEE: I can watch you count Froot Loops! (laughter)

AABRIA: Ah, not today. All right. Well, we'll end there. Until we all meet again, be safe. We all love you very much. And is it Thursday yet? (upbeat fantasy flute music)

AABRIA: Poska holds court in a dimly-lit room that could barely pass for an office. She kicks her feet up on the desk, soft, split-leather soles giving some inkling as to her roguish nature. And all around her, though unseen, the gentle creaking of leather alerts you to the other people in the room, so often accustomed to leaning back, hanging in the shadows. "All right, then, I thought we could be different. Nobler than the Myriad or the Clasp. More incisive in our purpose, but my generosity was exploited and I'm not at my best when my feelings are hurt. So, violence then. And woe betide any of those fools if they should come back into my city."