Transcript:Contentious Company

List of Transcripts

Pre-Show
MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

ALL: (discordant yelling) We play Dungeons & Dragons!

MATT: You dick. Left hook. Before we jump into tonight's game, we do have some announcements to get through, beginning with our first of two sponsors, Cortex. Sam.

SAM: From our fans-- nope. From our friends at Fandom, the people behind D&D Beyond, comes Cortex. It's not a new game, but rather a box of tools you can use to craft your own game, from hundreds of modular parts to best suit the way you and your friends like to play. Right now till December 31st, Critters can use the code-- I skipped a whole paragraph. Using a system-- (laughter) Using a system of dice and descriptive traits, you have the freedom to build within your favorite genres and worlds, from books, TVs, movies, and video games. And from now until December 31st, Critters can use the code, CORE20, at checkout to get a 20% discount on the digital edition of the book. Just go to cortexrpg.site, which is apparently a thing, /crcore, and grab a copy. Now, last time I used Cortex to develop my own horror game, Tax Code Carnage: IRS Annihilation, but Ivan and the folks at Darrington Press rejected my idea. So this week I'm going to pitch a new one, it's called Tea & Tea. Hold on. Steep yourself in an aromatic new RPG system. The first ever interactive tea-brewing adventure game! Play as three soothing character classes, Oolong, Assam, and if you're feeling nasty, Jasmine Matcha. (laughter) Balance tannins, soak up caffeine, and fight the evil forces of Lapsang Souchong. Super interactive! All you need is dice, a cup, hot water, and a thirst for excitement.

TRAVIS: Oh Jesus.

SAM: Tea & Tea is a truly immersive experience. Here, I'll demonstrate one of the modules right now. Oh no! The evil Earl Gray has flooded the realm with his undead bergamot bestiary. He's forcing us to eat scones without the créme fraíche. That is, until Rooibos the Red attacks.

ASHLEY: Oh!

SAM: Now, you roll a d4 to see how many minutes to steep. It's a four. And now we wait. (laughter) (laughter) I guess, I guess while we're waiting, what do you guys think?

LAURA: You know, it was really good.

LIAM: Strong, this is strong.

SAM: Okay! Well, I guess we'll check back later, see how it turns out. Until then, back to you, Matt.

MATT: Thank you. No, I'm super--

SAM: Thanks to Cortex for sponsoring the show.

MATT: Thank you, Cortex. I'm super excited to try out this game, and like, run a one-shot for all of 2021. (laughter)

TRAVIS: "For all of 2021."

MATT: But yes, thank you so much, Cortex, for sponsoring, our friends at Fandom. Our second sponsor tonight is NordVPN. This episode-- as you know, they are the sponsors of the-- providers of the highest quality of encryption for your internet traffic and they hide your IP and physical location on the internet. Right now, they have a special Christmas deal going on, with every purchase of a two-year plan, you get four additional months for free. That is four, that is the right numbers, of fingers I'm holding up. But you can go to nordvpn.com/criticalrole right now and use the coupon CriticalRole, one word, at checkout to take advantage of this great offer immediately. So I've been using them for over a year, they're fantastic, I recommend you do as well. Check it out when you can. NordVPN (deep exhale). For the rest of the announcements, we have a few things to go through. First, beginning with Marisha.

MARISHA: Oh my goodness, you guys. I've got announcements on this paper. The most important one: This is our last episode of the year.

ALL: Aww!

MARISHA: We're going on Christmas break or holiday break, or whatever you celebrate. We made it. Yeah. And we'll be returning for episode 121 on Thursday, January 14th, is our next episode back.

LAURA: Oh wow.

MARISHA: So.

SAM: Oh, we get time off.

MARISHA: We will see you then.

SAM: To travel-- Nope.

MARISHA: Nope. Nope. Just wait it out a little longer. Also, if you're watching this episode live on Twitch as it is airing, you should totally stay tuned during the break. We have a special viewing over our newest project, which is Crit Recap Animated. (cheering) Yeah, it's going to be airing during the break. Yeah, really excited about this one. Crit Recap Animated is a series of short videos that's going to be breaking down our Mighty Nein arc in-- sorry, our campaign in little arcs, those are the words. And it is a narrated by our local resident Lore Keeper, Dani Carr, who we all love. (cheering) Yeah, the episodes feature animation by Offworld Studios and the writing team-- Aww, they added the writing team of myself, Dani, and producer, Kyle Shire. (cheering) Yeah, written in-house, of course. And yeah, our first episode is an introduction to the characters of the Mighty Nein. So if you miss it live during the break, look for it on YouTube on Wednesday. Yeah. But we're hoping that these are little ways that people can quickly get caught up with the series as they come out. That way you can pick up as they come out and get refreshers on the arcs. It's super cute. You guys are going to love it. Those are my announcements.

MATT: Thank you, Marisha.

MARISHA: You're welcome.

LAURA: Good job, Marisha!

MARISHA: Thank you!

MATT: More announcements from Laura. Laura, go.

LAURA: This is just-- Hi guys. (laughter) So first thing I want to talk about is-- hold on. Should I take it off the hanger?

SAM: Uh, maybe?

LAURA: No, I'll keep it on the hanger.

MATT: What?

LAURA: Our Critical Role Cobalt Soul varsity jacket.

TRAVIS: So good.

LAURA: Ooh, what?! Now you can be a Expositor in real life.

MATT: That's really cool.

LAURA: This is amazing, and it's available right now in our US, UK, and Australian shops.

TRAVIS: Shops.

MARISHA: Mighty Nein patch.

LAURA: Stores shops. Also, we-- get off me. Also, we recently announced our partnership with Sideshow. Also, we recently announced our partnership with Sideshow. You guys may know them as the amazing creators of museum quality statues, and art prints, and figures, and all of that. And we have, I'm nervous because I'm so excited about these things.

MARISHA: I know.

LAURA: We have our first releases in the studio today that we're going to show you guys. So first off we have our Mighty Nein-- don't pull-- don't do anything yet.

MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay.

LAURA: Everybody just hold on. We have our Mighty Nein, "This Is How We Roll" fine art print by the incredible Ian MacDonald, which is available for pre-order right this moment.

MATT: That's so awesome.

MARISHA: Wait, does it come with the matting?

LAURA: I think that's how it comes.

MARISHA: Wait, what?!

TRAVIS: That's beautiful. Holy shit.

LIAM: So gorgeous. I'll put this on my wall.

LAURA: It's beautiful.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Second, that I should talk about, is starting on January 14th, that's the day we come back from our break. You can pre-order our first-- Whoa, you're so tall. You can pre-order our first two collectible figures, Fjord and Beau!

ALL: (excited noises)

MARISHA: Oh, you go first, you go first!

LIAM: Look at the beast!

ASHLEY: Oh my god!

LAURA: You guys, they are so amazing. Yeah, bring it in Marisha, bring it in more so you can see them.

MARISHA: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And the blue, I know-- I'll use my pasty arm as a backdrop. There we go.

TRAVIS: -- fucker.

MARISHA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

LAURA: Woo! Fjord is so attractive.

LIAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: I don't want to drop him. He's casting a spell on you. (laughter)

MATT: (exaggerated southern accent) Eldritch Blast.

LAURA: So that's happening. Pretty amazing. More reveals are coming soon. Check out side.show/criticalrole to RSVP to be notified of pre-order launches.

SAM: Did you just say side dot show slash?

LAURA: Side.show/

SAM: That's their website, side.show?

LAURA: That's what it says.

SAM: Cool.

TRAVIS: That's awesome. Mercer and I were talking about this: First place we go when we go to Comic-Con every year is the Sideshow booth, because it is the hottest thing ever. So this is--

MATT: For years and years and years.

TRAVIS: -- a crazy dream.

MATT: It really is.

LIAM: You can zap a man's eye out with that Fjord sword there.

TRAVIS: And I will.

LIAM: Ah. (lip pop)

MATT: Fantastic.

LAURA: So yeah.

TRAVIS: It's real pretty!

LAURA: That's all I got.

MATT: Thank you guys. Ah, it's so cool!

SAM: Oh, Matt. Quick update by the way.

MATT: Yeah? Where we at?

LAURA: Oh. Oh.

TALIESIN: Oh.

SAM: Over-steeped. I failed it. It was a fail.

ASHLEY: No.

SAM: Sorry.

MATT: That's okay. Well.

SAM: I'll just roll again.

MATT: Yeah. Just roll up some new characters and we'll try a campaign.

SAM: That's the whole game.

MATT: That's it, it's the entire thing.

LIAM: Sam, that bit is in my Top 50 of your bits.

SAM: That is high? That's medium praise! That's medium praise.

MATT: Awesome. Last couple things here. Earlier this week, we announced our new comic book series with our friends at Dark Horse Comics, "Tales of Exandria." This series actually expands a lot of the stories beyond the main campaign characters in the world of Exandria beyond Vox Machina and Mighty Nein, starting with a run centering on the Bright Queen written by Darcy Van Poelgeest, with art by CoupleOfKooks. It is awesome, we've been working and developing the narrative, and Darcy's done an amazing job. And can't wait for you guys check it out, and you can see the art from a CoupleOfKooks, which their art's amazing. We also have our announcements article on critrole.com for all the details and pre-orders for Tales of Exandria I, series one, number one, right now, through your local comic shop or digital retailers. And if you're able, please consider supporting your local comic shops, especially at this time. To find a shop near you, check out comicshoplocator.com, and from there you can get your copy of Tales of Exandria, first issue of the first series, releasing March 17th, 2021. So keep an eye out. And that's it. It's lot to come back to the new year with!

SAM: It's the last one of the year, we got to get it all in.

MATT: Yeah, yeah. It's a great way to kick it off. Kick it off better than last year.

TRAVIS: Peace out, 2020.

MARISHA: I just love these so much.

TALIESIN: I know. I mean, look at them.

LIAM: How could you not?

ASHLEY: Ugh, it's just--

LIAM: They're so fierce.

LAURA: I know, I'm jealous that they're the first two figures.

MARISHA: Wait, I got an idea, I got an idea. This should be better. Here we go. Yeah!

LIAM: I want to see them side by side.

SAM: I want to see them fight.

MATT: We'll post pictures on socials and stuff.

LIAM: They'll break.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: So dope. The detail is killer.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: But nevertheless, with that done, let's go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role.

(water bubbling) (thunder rumbling) (explosion) ♪ Role, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Role, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Role, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Role, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Role, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Role, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪ ♪ The adventure begins ♪ ♪ They were always beside you ♪ ♪ Your nerdy best friends ♪ ♪ And the DM to guide you ♪ ♪ And they rise from the flames for the battles ahead ♪ ♪ Villains beware because you're about to be dead ♪ ♪ They got magic and flair ♪ ♪ They got falchions and cunning ♪ ♪ They don't see over there ♪ ♪ There's a monster incoming ♪ ♪ Inspiration is waiting, rise up, don't think twice ♪ ♪ Put your fate in your hands, take a chance, ♪ ♪ roll the dice ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪ ♪ Critical Role (roll the dice) ♪ ♪ Critical Role (roll the dice) ♪ ♪ Ooh, ahh ♪ ♪ Can you answer the call ♪ ♪ Diggin' deep in your soul ♪ ♪ As the legend unfolds ♪ ♪ Now it's your turn (your turn, your turn) ♪ ♪ to roll ♪ (flames whooshing)

Part I
MATT: And welcome back. So last we left off: The Mighty Nein, making their way through Eiselcross with the eventual destination plan of reaching the ruins, the central ruins of Aeor, which currently is to the east across a volcanic river of magma.

ASHLEY and LAURA: (like Dr. Evil) Magma.

MATT: You have-- (laughs)

ASHLEY: Sorry.

MATT: I missed you guys, too.

MARISHA: It's gonna be one of those games.

MATT: I know. We're already, out of the gate, loopy. But. You traveled here in trying to head off Lucien and the Tomb Takers for what seemed to be one of the artifacts they're attempting to gather before heading to Aeor themselves. You managed to gain some time by flying in the air via giant eagles, and upon trekking deep within, you encountered strange locales, ancient Aeorian citizens, frozen in some sort of weird, magical time bubble. You made yourself scarce as you went deeper into the ruin, discovering strange laboratories, encountering a horrifying, mutated abomination. After battling it, you discovered the remnants of one of these laboratories and an eventual escape hatch that led to an even further subterranean, nearly petrified forest, corrupted by some sort of unknown source. But beyond that forest, you began to come upon a hallway and stairs that descended into a blue-lit chamber, in the same direction that Jester's magic had said the second threshold crest you seek would be. And so as we left off, you had just dispelled the magical barrier that had prevented entry, and began trekking down, down the stairways into this blue-lit, familiar chamber. down the stairways into this blue-lit, familiar chamber.

MARISHA: Before we walk in.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I wanted to do this at the end of the last game, and just stop Yasha, because we're in the back.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I'm really, really nervous.

ASHLEY: Yeah. Really, really, really nervous.

MARISHA: Oddly, it's not because of this.

ASHLEY: Oh!

MARISHA: It's-- you make me nervous, in a good way-- I've got cotton mouth-- in a good way.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: I read your note. Y-y-yeah, no.

ASHLEY: I thought I really fucked up and I just was like, was it too much? No, I just--

MARISHA: No.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: It was great.

ASHLEY: You did read it. I thought maybe you didn't read it yet or maybe you did, and you just were like, I don't want to--

MARISHA: Yeah, it was like, I read it, but-- and then like, we kept having house guests. Like we had the yetis, and then we had Dagen, and then we just kept bringing in weird people into the tower.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: So it was just like-- it was-- and then we'd be like, good night, and then we'd be like, ah, it-- I'm rambling. It's a weird question. But we might die soon.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: Do you want to, like, go on a date or something?

ASHLEY: Yes, of course.

MARISHA: Yeah? Okay. I never like do anything the right way, and so I figured that maybe with this, I should just go like start from the beginning, and we haven't really had a beg- We had like a beginning and then we had like, like a, "You stabbed me" thing, and then, and then now we need like a second beginning.

ASHLEY: I would love that more than anything.

MARISHA: Okay.

ASHLEY: And just-- Uh-- Oh, I feel weirdly happy and excited in this really weird place, but um-- Wow, I feel really good. I think I just thought that, you know, when, when, when, when like, you start acting weird or stupid around someone?

MARISHA: Uh-huh.

ASHLEY: And then you're just like, why can't I just act normal?

MARISHA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: But I think, it's-- I like you, Beau.

MARISHA: Yeah, I like you a lot, too. I dunno, we'll figure something out. I kind of asked Caleb if we could, like, change the tower, you know? Because we're kind of in like a weird situation where I don't think there's bars, but I've got some ideas, so--

ASHLEY: Okay. Yeah. I would love that.

MARISHA: Okay.

ASHLEY: If--

MARISHA: Uh... (stammering) Tomorrow night? Is that too soon? Should we wait till the weekend? What day is it?

ASHLEY: I don't even know.

SAM: Yeah, we're all standing right next to you.

MARISHA: No, you guys went ahead and I stopped her.

SAM: Oh, okay.

MATT: Yeah, you guys have descended into the chamber. We'll get to you all in a second.

TRAVIS: We might be like--

LIAM: Much less fun.

TALIESIN: I have a perception of 20; I'm listening to this. Yeah. Sorry.

ASHLEY: If-- If we live, let's go on a date tomorrow night.

MARISHA: Okay.

ASHLEY: Yeah?

MARISHA: Yeah!

ASHLEY: I mean, we'll see. If we're still in here, we'll figure it out.

MARISHA: Okay. Okay, we got some time. We'll, as we're trekking through the tundra and saving the universe, we'll make plans.

ASHLEY: And then if we go on the date and you're, like, not into it anymore, that's okay too.

MARISHA: Yeah, same!

ASHLEY: Yeah, okay.

MARISHA: Like, no-- I don't want to make it weird, you know? Because we're like, working together.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's weird. But I-- wow, I don't even know what to say. I was not expecting that, but--

MARISHA: I wanted to ask you earlier, but it just kind of, just-- I'm sweating.

ASHLEY: Yeah. Me, too. I get really squirrely.

MARISHA: It's like--

ASHLEY: Nervous. But you look great. It's like-- you have a very nice dew.

MARISHA: (breathless laugh) Thanks.

ASHLEY: Okay. Well, I'm looking forward to it. Stay alive, please.

MARISHA: Yeah, you, too.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: Let's go steal an ancient relic.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: (stammering) After you.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: I walk away and try to look really cute. (laughter)

TRAVIS: "Really cute."

ASHLEY: Like move my hips a little bit more,

MARISHA: I just, like, wipe the spittle that gathered in the corner of my mouth. And then I go forward.

MATT: As you strut your way behind your compatriot--

ASHLEY: Hey, what are we doing? Are we all figured-- you know, we got to figure it out.

SAM: Well, we thought that you guys were talking strategy. It seemed like an intense conversation.

MARISHA: It was a str- It's a strategy of a different kind.

LAURA: So what's the plan?

SAM: Yeah, what did you guys come up with?

TRAVIS: You were gone for a while, so.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: The plan is to stay alive.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: Until tomorrow night.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

SAM: You had a much more intricate, like, thing before we went into the last one of these places, it was like, you wanted to talk and be allies and all sorts of stuff. This is just, stay alive?

MARISHA: Hmm.

ASHLEY: Well, you know--

MARISHA: Lucien's not here and now it's just get the job done, right? And just, like, make it, and just live in the moment, yeah?

LIAM: Here, take this handkerchief. You are oddly sweating in this cold place.

MARISHA: I know. It's--

LAURA: Yeah, you look like my dad.

MARISHA: Oh no.

LAURA: No, it's a good thing.

TRAVIS: You feeling all right?

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: You were farting back there, weren't you?

MARISHA: I didn't want to infect the room, you know. We're kind of in a--

TRAVIS: It's very considerate.

MARISHA: It's limited oxygen down here, I didn't want to--

ASHLEY: Weirdly, because I can't smell her farts for some reason. So she held me back just to stay with her in the, well, she had tummy issues.

TRAVIS: A very unique trait, Yasha.

SAM: Is that like some people--

LIAM: It's that crayon smell. It's very overpowering.

ASHLEY: It's just farts, I don't know. Because flowers, you know.

SAM: I think I've heard of that. It's like some people pee, when they eat asparagus, it smells funny. Some people just can't smell farts.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

SAM: It's a genetic thing.

ASHLEY: It's just, it's-- It's a weird thing.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

SAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: If you got to drop a bomb, Yasha is your wingman.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: So as you take in the environment around you... (laughter)

LIAM: Just like we did in rehearsal, Matt. (laughter)

MATT: Having this conversation, as you slowly descend the staircase into a familiar chamber. This is a room that is nearly identical to the previous Threshold Vault that you had encountered at the site of A5 on the map. The shape's a little bit larger of the overall chamber. You can see there are the two somewhat rounded balcony edges that go to the right and left and in the stairs that descend in the central chamber, and the central part of stairs that go towards the middle of the chamber. And there below you can see the familiar sigils in the floor and the glyph against the wall. And there above, affixed to the ceiling, you see embedded the large blue, glowing threshold crest. There is a lot of fallen rubble in here and you can see there are a couple of heavy stacks or piles of rock, stone, and other structural materials that have fallen. But overall, the room is holding.

LIAM: Well, I know this looks very much like the last one, but let's not take it for granted, and start looking around for any threats in the room.

TRAVIS: Any sort of inlaid statues or things that could come to life, or traps.

LIAM: Or zap us.

MATT: Well, you can make a perception check. You do see at the--

TRAVIS: Assist you.

MATT: Perception check.

LIAM: Can I go full on poke about with an investigation, or is that too involved?

MATT: If you want to, like, spend the time rummaging through stuff, sure, make an investigation check, then.

LIAM: It is-- where is investigation? It is in 18.

MATT: 18. Okay. So it'll take you a little while, so while you're doing that--

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: There are the two curved staircases that head into the middle chamber on the side. And then at the base of each of those, you see pillars that have orbs on them that are just these hollow, dark, glassed orb. Somewhat frosted, it seems like, from the inside.

SAM: That seems bad.

ASHLEY: Yup.

SAM: I'll go down towards one of those and specifically check it for traps. Hmm, maybe someone should scan it for magic first.

TALIESIN: Are we close enough in for Detect Magic to...?

MATT: Likely.

TALIESIN: All right. I'll do a Detect Magic.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: So yeah.

MATT: So you Detect Magic in the chamber. There is magic throughout a majority of this chamber. You see threads woven like small subterranean roots and trees that seem to mingle and all gather towards the base of the ground, and then weave within this glyph that then folds up into the top. And that heavy, heavy magical source from the central crest, it is nearly blinding, and even just extending your consciousness to accept this, is a little harsh. As you were investigating and looking around the area, the two orbs in the sides, they just briefly flash and then go back to a dull sensation. You sense a brief flash of magical energy, and then they just go inert.

TALIESIN: That was something. There's nothing now, but that was something.

LAURA: What?

TALIESIN: Oh, the orbs just sort of-- they had a magic moment. (laughter)

TRAVIS: The regret. (loud laughing)

MATT: That's why I'm trying to pull you back in.

TRAVIS: Tractor beams failing.

LIAM: You're still thinking about Beau and Yasha.

TALIESIN: I think we should be careful. This seems--

TRAVIS: Dangerous.

TALIESIN: I'm not getting anything from them now, but there was a brief flash of something, I don't know. And this whole room is just lit up.

LAURA: Do we have to cross between the two orbs in order to get to the Threshold Crest?

MATT: The staircases would descend around them, but the central stairs would go between the two of them. Yes.

LAURA: I'm going to around them, I'm not going to walk between them.

MATT: Okay. As you guys all make your way down to the lower area and you are currently rummaging through them, there is piles of loose rock and fallen stone and materials that either belonged to the structure here, or have since slid into it at some point due to the impact of this ruin. But you do see an armored hand that is loosely visible near one of the piles of stone on the far left hand corner of this room.

LIAM: All right. Caduceus!

TALIESIN: I can see from here, is that weird? Is it magic?

MATT: It does not appear to emit a magical aura.

TALIESIN: Just a hand, or at least just a glove. I don't know, is there anything in it?

LIAM: Yeah. For safety, here.

SAM: Sure. I'll come over and I'll cast my magic hand and just try to, sort of, tug on it from 30 feet away and see if it moves or--

MATT: I mean, it lifts with it, like it's being lifted from its place, but is attached.

SAM: Okay. It's not just a hand. There's a body in there. So I'll come closer and investigate to see if it's trapped.

MATT: Go ahead and check and see.

SAM: 12 plus-- 25.

MATT: 25. All righty. It does not appear to be trapped. It does appear to be buried. Whatever it's attached to is currently under quite a bit of stone.

TALIESIN: Detect Undead.

MATT: You get no undead essence in the vicinity.

TALIESIN: All right.

TRAVIS: Divine Sense for celestial and fiend?

SAM: Wow, we are being super careful.

LAURA: Yeah, we are being so careful.

MATT: (multiple firing noises) I love it. Nothing catches your attention.

ASHLEY: Nott, do you want me to come-- do we want to unbury this thing?

SAM: Do you need help to dig it out?

ASHLEY: Yeah. I'll try to-- yeah, do we want to look at this thing?

SAM: Let's see what this is.

MATT: It'll take you a bit, but you don't have to roll for it necessarily. With the aid of your friends, you managed to pull some of this off and you see some sort of-- you think it's a soldier in armor at first, but the armor pieces are bolted or sealed onto the body. You don't see skin.

LAURA: Is it a golem?

LIAM: Is it a Willi arm?

SAM: A what?

LIAM: Like the golem from--

MARISHA: Willi.

LIAM: Yeah.

SAM: Oh, oh.

MATT: It resembles an automaton that you've encountered before, but this one is more humanoid in size. It's maybe about-- I'd say a little bit shorter than Caduceus and has the proportions of a human, but it looks like it's crafted from enchanted metals, and stone, and other weird rubbery materials, similar to the cables that you saw torn through some of the chambers and walls on your way in.

LAURA: What does his face look like?

MATT: As you pull it over, you see the face, the face looks smooth. There's no hair. It's just a metallic dome, almost like a helmet. But you can see there are sockets where eyes would be, and an area where a mouth would be that looks like it has some sort of a joint to it, like a jaw, but it is partially crushed inward.

TRAVIS: Should we leave this buried? It's going to come to life and--

LIAM: Actually--

LAURA: What if it's a buddy?

LIAM: I'm going to kneel down and start seeing if there is any sort of power source, the likes of which I've read about and which I've been hoping for, ever since the Folding Halls of Halas.

MATT: Go ahead and make an arcana check.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: What, like a charger or--

SAM: Battery.

LAURA: Battery of some sort.

LIAM: 15.

MATT: 15.

LIAM: I rolled low.

MATT: Looking at this, and from the knowledge that you did gain from actually crafting with your friends here, that golem within the Folding Halls, this is a different physicality to it. It's weirdly far more complicated than the simple-- comparatively simple golem creations. This has more maneuverability. Its joints are more natural. It's almost a-- an imitation of a human body, but crafted. You can see within the armor, there are grooves and runes, so there was some sort of enchantment, though it appears to be bereft of any sort of life or source.

LIAM: Is there any language on it? I still have Comprehend Languages up.

MATT: There is no language written on it, no.

LIAM: I pull out the collar that got thrown around my neck and say: I'm looking for something to bring this back to life, and I think if we are lucky somewhere here, I might.

LAURA: Oh.

LIAM: Maybe.

TALIESIN: The orbs haven't flashed again, have they?

MATT: No.

LAURA: If you get close to them, do they flash?

MATT: Do you want to walk close to it?

LAURA: How close was-- was it Caleb who was-- is anybody close to it before when it flashed?

LIAM: It was me.

MATT: Yeah, you were all moving in, but it was Caleb who was the first to go in and begin, like, looking through and searching the local rubble and such.

LAURA: I'll get within...

TRAVIS: Or I could do it. You don't-- you know, just maybe not you.

LAURA: I'm really strong, Fjord.

TRAVIS: There's no doubt. Sure.

TALIESIN: Someone with-- Can you still teleport? Can you still jump?

LAURA: Me?

TALIESIN: Either of you, honestly.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Okay. This place is giving me feels.

LAURA: I'll get within-- Oh, I'm about to sneeze. Oh, it went away.

MATT: Ah! Ooh!

LAURA: It went away! I'll get within 20 feet of the orbs.

LIAM: Look at the crystal in the ceiling.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: 20 feet is relatively easy because of the space where you guys are even inspecting this crushed construction was about 20 feet. So you step closer, still nothing, no reaction.

LAURA: 15 feet.

MATT: No reaction.

LAURA: Hmm. 10 feet.

MATT: No reaction.

LAURA: What the heck, man. How close was Caleb?

TALIESIN: I don't remember.

MATT: He was about, maybe, 15 to 10 feet from it.

TALIESIN: Huh. Well, how are we going to get this crest?

LAURA: Well, we could, you know, you could spider climb up to the ceiling and we could try to pry it out. Somebody could fly up and we could--

SAM: What did we see when we walked into the last one of these? How were they getting it down?

LIAM: They cut it down.

TRAVIS: Prying it out.

LIAM: I could probably get it, if we take a moment. I could get it the same way. You've seen me pulverize gems, and--

TALIESIN: Let's just keep an eye out, and stay as far away from it as possible.

LAURA: What if we just try to dispel it, you know, just make it inert.

SAM: I don't think we have that much magic, do we? This thing's huge.

LAURA: We can always try.

SAM: Yeah, sure.

LAURA: It'd take a really high level, but--

TALIESIN: Better to save that for getting out of here, I think.

TRAVIS: But we don't want to make it inert, right? I mean, we want to remove it.

LAURA: Why wouldn't we want to make it inert?

TRAVIS: That's a good point.

SAM: Because then it's not a bargaining chip anymore.

LAURA: Yeah, but why would we bargain with them? What would we bargain for it? You know what I mean?

SAM: I don't know. We won't know until we get to that point.

LIAM: You want to destroy it?

LAURA: Yeah. If we keep it not broken, then they have the opportunity to use it.

SAM: But if we break it, then they can just say, "Oh, well, I'll go get another one, then."

TALIESIN: I say we get it out of here then we break it. I don't want to--

TRAVIS: Spend time?

TALIESIN: I want to get out of here quickly, and I want to make sure that we get out of here with everything we need. I'm afraid that it's going to be hard to leave.

LAURA: I just think if we get it out, we use a lot of power doing it, they happen upon us, we're already weakened, they take it from us, and then we did the work for them.

TALIESIN: It's possible.

SAM: You know what we should've done? That guy up above the gnome. Iver, Eever, Eever, Iver. The guy that we've met when we entered this?

TRAVIS: Yep.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

SAM: We should have fucking wiped his memory, so he didn't remember seeing us, because if people come down, they're going to be like, "Where are you're friends?" And he's going to be like, "They went that way." Fuck.

TALIESIN: I think they know.

MARISHA: We told him that bad people might be coming and to hide.

SAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: Said he was going to hide.

TALIESIN: And they can watch us any time they like, they probably know we're--

SAM: Oh, yeah? Are they watching us now?

TRAVIS: Mm. I don't know.

SAM: Why don't you find out?

TRAVIS: That's fair. I feel like I use it rather frivolously.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Oh, and I think I've used it--

MATT: I think you've already used it today.

LAURA: Yeah, because we've used a lot of spells already today.

TALIESIN: This is precisely why we shouldn't try and destroy it here. We should destroy it once we're--

TRAVIS: Let's get it out first. Let's get it.

TALIESIN: It's probably going to need more than we have.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: Well, I think I can get it out of the ceiling. It's going to take me about 10 minutes. We probably want to wait to catch it, unless we want to see if it smashes when it hits the ground.

TRAVIS: Oh, right.

LAURA: Yeah. Let's just try to get it smashed.

TALIESIN: It smashes, it smashes.

MARISHA and ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: Fine with that.

LIAM: Okay, so I will go, not directly beneath it, so I do not get crushed, but just 10 feet out and spend 10 minutes and I will cast the spell Fabricate and I will use that to meld the stone that's holding it away from the gem. Just sort of (sucking sound) hollow out.

MATT: All righty.

TRAVIS: Let's see if these columns react to magic.

LAURA: Yeah. I'll stand pretty far away. Maybe in the door. I'm going to stand in the doorway.

SAM: I'm going to lie underneath, or next to that robot man. He seemed like he was in a safe place. (laughter)

LAURA: He was crushed.

TRAVIS: Whatever happened there, the worst already happened.

SAM: Lightning doesn't strike the same place twice.

TALIESIN: Ehh.

MATT: Okay. Fabricate, just is less of a shape as it is and more of taking raw materials and then building them into an actual constructed object.

LIAM: If I could, it's up to you, but if I can take pieces of wood and make them "Vroop!", couldn't I do the reverse and go "Vroop!" and just make the shape a wider, bubbled--

MATT: I would say, come up with a-- Currently, the spell requires a final visualized structure.

LIAM: I have it. I will make a sort of stone lattice work bubble underneath where the gem is. So all the stone around it will drip down and make like a thin spider web of stone that will either catch it or smash through.

MATT: That'll work.

SAM: Wait, do we want to catch it? Because I could catch it.

LIAM: We've got 10 minutes to think about it.

TRAVIS: It's up to you.

SAM: Okay, I can cast Levitate then and catch it, if you want me to.

LIAM: That sounds good.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Or we could just see if it smash--

LAURA: Or we could try to break it.

SAM: Do we want it? Okay. Well, getting mixed messages.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: From yourself, mostly. You're the one that doesn't want to break it.

MATT: So you begin casting.

LIAM: Yeah. Yeah, currently I'm going to put it in, like, a little bit of a stone net, which should be easy to break, one of us to break it if we want, in a quick hit.

MATT: Caduceus. As they're all focusing on this, you hear this very, very faint--

MARISHA: Son-of-a-bitch.

MATT: (soft approaching footsteps)

TALIESIN: Something's coming.

MATT: (soft approaching footsteps)

TALIESIN: Back up.

LAURA: Against the wall, Invoke Duplicity.

MARISHA: Yeah. (stammering) Guard.

ASHLEY: I get in front of Caleb. So he can--

MARISHA: Patient Defense.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: -- do his thing.

MATT: As you're focusing, you guys begin to hear this, too, and as the chamber begins to echo, this impact is something like heavy footfalls making their way to your direction. You hear (scraping and thudding footsteps) (scraping and thudding footsteps) And you begin to see light, like sparks lighting up an aspect of the hallway from where you guys entered from, when you were all within this cul-de-sac of an ended chamber. And you watch as through the opening, as you all found your space to hide within the interior, you are at the moment-- you're on probably no more than 30 seconds into the spell before--

LIAM: Yeah, have to bail on it.

MATT: Yeah, you have to bail on it and try to move out of the way, as you watch this towering, 15-foot tall automaton come charging through, (loud footsteps) Top of the stairs, you see it standing there. This massive armored centurion, if you will. This guardian golem-type entity stands there. Its head itself, this juggernaut-like, gradual hill to the shoulder. In the middle of its face, you see this glowing, bright red gem that's scanning the room. You see its armored torso, its upper chest, reaching wide, and his one arm is a massive fist. The other one is this long lance that ends in a barb. As it stands there, you also see that it's sustained heavy damage. Its body is somewhat cracked open, on the inside you can see these cables that are (electrical wire sparking) sparking.

MARISHA: Recent damage?

MATT: If you want to make a perception check real fast on it.

MARISHA: I do. Oh. Real bad, I think that's a six.

LIAM: Oh boy.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Hard to tell, but nevertheless, let me pull the chamber out so you know what it looks like. (yelling)

LAURA: This is why nervous, because we're all going to die.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SAM: This chamber's surprised by-- I mean--

TRAVIS: Surprised by?

SAM: Supported by Dwarven Forge. Surprise that special dungeon master in your life this holiday season with Dwarven Forge gaming terrain. Go check out their amazing stuff at dwarvenforge.com or right here.

TRAVIS: Oh, snap.

LAURA: Ooh!

ASHLEY: Look at those globes. Those are big orbs.

LAURA: They're way bigger than I envisioned.

ASHLEY: Same, same.

MATT: Where are you placed in this Chamber, everybody?

LAURA: Oh god.

SAM: I'm crouching behind the robit. Where's the robit?

TRAVIS: I'm on the stairs to your left.

MATT: This would be the rubble where the creature thing automaton is. There you go. So you're couching behind it over, here?

SAM: Yep.

MATT: Okay. Everyone else?

TRAVIS: I was right here.

TRAVIS: Top.

MATT: Fjord, you over here?

TRAVIS: Yep.

LIAM: Yasha and Caleb would have been near the center of the room, and the moment we saw that thing, Caleb would have taken a step left, so he is directly behind Yasha, hiding from it.

MATT: So right over here?

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: No, I got it.

MATT: And Yasha, you'd be about there?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I'm right here. Can you see where my thing is?

TRAVIS: Did you paint symbols on the floor?

ASHLEY: That looks amazing.

LAURA: Can you see where my thingy is?

MATT: No, these are glowing.

SAM: No, he can't see that.

MARISHA: On the backside, ba-- You can't see it.

MATT: Over here?

LAURA: On the other side. Yeah.

MATT: Gotcha.

TALIESIN: And I'm doing the same thing on the other side.

LAURA: And I invoked duplicity.

MATT: Indeed, and where did you invoke it?

LAURA: I invoked duplicity right next to the stairway in the middle. Yeah, right there.

TRAVIS: The symbols are glowing on the floor, they pulse.

SAM: No, they don't.

TRAVIS: They are pulsing right now! Look at that! Look, look.

LAURA: What?! How?!

MARISHA: Yeah. Tucked against the wall.

MATT: There?

MARISHA: Yes, please.

LIAM: I've done the same thing with ladders in my home game. I love the railings. Yes!

TRAVIS: Matt, that is a little large.

LAURA: That's so cool.

MARISHA: That's cool.

SAM: We should have used the new Fjord figurine to be like-- (laughter)

ASHLEY: Does he only have one one arm?

MATT: It has one massive fist and then-- This mini isn't perfectly accurate to the vision. One arm is this long, pointed lance with a barb at the end. But--

MARISHA: Lance.

MATT: It is very aware of your presence.

LIAM: Shite.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: And I need you all to roll initiative.

SAM: Oh, snap.

TRAVIS: Oh fuck, I just thought we'd have a little bit more time.

MATT: Nope.

LIAM: No!

TALIESIN: No.

MATT: Oh, wow. Okay.

MARISHA: Is that good or bad?

LIAM: I hate going first and I rolled a 20.

MARISHA: I hate going last and I rolled a one. Can we tradesies?

LAURA: No!

MARISHA: Can we just trade?

TRAVIS: Is there a stock market for initiative?

SAM: In this scenario you want--

MATT: Apparently. No.

SAM: -- to go first. Otherwise, he's gonna whack you.

MARISHA: Damn it!

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: 25 to 20.

LIAM: 22.

MARISHA: I'm going roll my d8.

LAURA: 20.

MARISHA: Oh my god. Are you serious?

ASHLEY: They're glowing.

MATT: All right. 20 to 15.

SAM: 15.

TRAVIS: Okay. This is not (laughs) a surprise.

MARISHA: Wait, who is-- oh, wait.

TRAVIS: Caleb, Jester, Nott.

MARISHA: Caleb.

MATT: 15 to 10.

ASHLEY: 13.

TRAVIS: 10.

MATT: All right. All righty. 10 to five?

MARISHA: Seven.

TALIESIN: Seven.

TRAVIS: Okay.

SAM: Shit.

TRAVIS: Who has the higher dex between you two?

MARISHA: Me.

TRAVIS: Yeah, that's a dumb question. (laughter)

MATT: All righty.

SAM: He's made of electricity. He's probably impervious to--

MATT: Top of the round, as it stands there, looming over. The burning red gem in the middle of the face, giving this light that scans across the chamber at once. Its shoulder sparks once and its body jostles to one side before it rights itself. Caleb, you're up first. What are you doing?

LIAM: I lean out from behind Yasha and take the cat mint from inside my coat and go (foomph) and a spectral Frumpkin floats and the Cat's Ire claw is right above that glowing circle.

TRAVIS: It's a big sword.

LIAM: And I will use it to shred and hit the automaton.

MATT: All righty.

TRAVIS: We're going after it. We're getting it.

MATT: As it rushes over to meet it to strike.

LIAM: Make a melee spell attack, okay.

MATT: Indeed.

LIAM: Oh, that hits. That's a 26.

MATT: That definitely hits.

LIAM: And it is 4d8.

TRAVIS: Does an automaton count as a creature?

MATT: I mean, it counts as a creature. It's just its type is a construct.

LIAM: 25 of slashing damage.

MATT: Nice.

LIAM: With the claw. And I will back up to the opposite wall from it.

MATT: Over here?

LIAM: Ja.

MATT: All righty. So as you're now up against the wall, concentrating, you see this giant apparated arcane cat claw rushes up and strikes across the front. The claws spark and carve across the front of it. You see the giant gash marks where it managed to fit through its armor and leave this visible wound. The metal giving way ever so slightly, but still holding strong. That finishes--

LIAM: With a slightly shell-shocked face, I just go: Hey, go, Yasha.

MATT: (laughs) All righty. Jester, you're up next.

LAURA: I'm going to have my duplicate run up a couple of the steps, and say, because she can talk now, she's going to say: It's me you want! (laughter)

LAURA: I don't know. And I'm going to have her cast Banishment.

MATT: On the creature?

LAURA: Yeah, at the creature.

SAM: Dang.

MATT: Okay. All right.

MARISHA: Get it, get it queen.

MATT: What's the DC on it?

LAURA: 18, charisma.

MATT: 18 charisma. Nice.

LIAM: That's a very handsome robot.

TALIESIN: I know that look.

TRAVIS: Say it. Say it.

MATT: I legitimately rolled a 19 and a 20, for reasons. It still fails.

SAM: Oh, wow.

LAURA: It might have a low charisma.

MATT: All righty. So--

TALIESIN: Nobody likes you. (laughter)

MATT: It vanishes from the space here for a moment.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

SAM: A 20 isn't an automatic success for?

TRAVIS: Like a dirt-- oh.

SAM: No, I guess not. Wow, cool.

TRAVIS: With disadvantage?

MARISHA: How long has it gone for? A minute?

LAURA: A minute.

TRAVIS: Did you roll at disadvantage?

SAM: At advantage.

LAURA: Advantage.

TRAVIS: 20

LAURA: He had advantage.

SAM: So he's got a negative three charisma.

LAURA: At least.

TRAVIS: At least.

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: Yeah. I mean, just like skills. It's not like there's a critical success on a save.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Just wanted to double-check just to be safe, so. All right. Double-checking.

TALIESIN: Just gives us a time limit, is all, really.

LAURA: Yeah. We have a minute until he comes back.

SAM: We can prepare.

TALIESIN: Or we can get and run.

MARISHA: Okay.

SAM: We're going to get that thing in a minute?

MARISHA: We can't. It takes him 10 minutes to cast his spell.

LAURA: Yeah, we're not going to--

TALIESIN: Just try and cut it the hell out.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Well, I've got the claw. I could try to smash the shit out of it instead.

SAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: It's not a bad idea.

TRAVIS: Yeah, and I could go to the roof, right? Or, well.

MARISHA: I have a deep feeling I can't stun this thing.

LAURA: Probably not, but we have a minute. He's going to come back in a minute. So we should prepare to attack him when he comes back in this spot, regardless.

MATT: Well, 30 seconds now.

TRAVIS: Okay.

TALIESIN: All right. Get it. Let's go. Let's go.

MARISHA: Do the claw. Get the claw.

LAURA: You guys do your thing. I'm going to stand there and get ready to cast--

SAM: Fuck. Do you want me to lift up Yasha so she can start whacking at it?

LIAM: I'll start swiping with the claw, see what happens.

ASHLEY: If you want to, I can try to help.

MATT: Swiping with the?

LIAM: Cat's claw. Striking the gem in the roof.

MATT: Oh, okay.

LIAM: In the ceiling.

SAM: I will levitate Yasha, so she can also strike at the roof of the gem.

ASHLEY: Great.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I'll move and get in place opposite of Jester clone.

MATT: Okay, right there?

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: You've got it.

MARISHA: And wait and take the dodge action and just wait.

MATT: Okay, you're just waiting for it to arrive? Okay, Yasha, you're now hovering up with the claw towards the top.

MARISHA: Or I guess just hold my action.

MATT: All righty.

ASHLEY: Hell yeah.

MATT: So you begin slowly drifting up there. What are you doing--

TRAVIS: On the--

MATT: What are you doing to prepare as you drift upward?

ASHLEY: I'm pulling out Magician's Judge and I'm getting ready to try to help with the claw and go to town on it.

MATT: You've got it. What are you doing, Fjord?

TRAVIS: I'm going to run backside to where he disappeared from. So we form a little triangle between the duplicate and Beau.

MATT: Here, you mean?

TRAVIS: Yeah. Maybe a little more to your right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, perfect.

MATT: Like, right up against it?

TRAVIS: Yeah, so when he appears, I'm behind him in a triangle between the duplicate Jester and Beau.

MATT: Okay. Right there?

TRAVIS: Yep.

LAURA: I'm going to cast Stone Shape, and I'm going to cast it on the ground where one of his feet were, and I'm going to create a large hole. So when he bamfs back in, he topples.

MARISHA: That's a great idea.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: A little bit.

MATT: You've got it.

MARISHA: I'll hold my attack. I said dodge, but I'm holding my attack.

TALIESIN: I'm going to run up to Beau.

TRAVIS: Holding my attack.

TALIESIN: Tap you.

MARISHA: Tap me.

SAM: Tap that Beau.

MARISHA: Tap that Beau.

TALIESIN: And I'm going to give you-- Is this a "fuck it" moment?

LIAM: Yes.

ASHLEY: Yes.

TALIESIN: You know, I'm going to hold off on the-- big spell or no big spell?

MARISHA: I don't know.

TALIESIN: I'm going to just give you Freedom of Movement.

MARISHA: Okay. Can't be grappled and other stuff.

TALIESIN: No difficult terrain.

MARISHA: No difficult terrain.

SAM: Probably nothing.

TALIESIN: Target speed. Yeah, you can't be paralyzed or restrained.

MARISHA: Okay.

TALIESIN: And you can spend five feet of movement to automatically escape from non-magical restraints such as manacles, creatures that have you grappled.

MARISHA: Can't-- okay.

MATT: There's a whole floor element that goes up to the wall.

MARISHA: Thank you. That's great.

MATT: And the ceiling where the gem is.

MARISHA: If he grabs me.

TRAVIS: That's so cool.

TALIESIN: For an hour.

TRAVIS: How are they glowing?

LAURA: Cute, though.

MARISHA: What's it called again?

TALIESIN: Also, if this creature went through my guardian, it would have taken some damage, so.

MATT: The guardian was set up at--

TALIESIN: At the base, at the entrance of the tunnel.

MATT: Correct. And it did not--

TALIESIN: Cool. Just checking.

TRAVIS: It ignores walls (laughs).

SAM: Matthew?

MATT: Yes.

SAM: While we're waiting our 30 seconds, I'm going to move up to the orb closest to me and hide behind it.

MATT: You've got it. You are now--

SAM: And take out my Corecut Dagger!

MATT: You got it. (laughter)

SAM: Corecut Dagger!

MATT: All righty.

SAM: Get ready and hold my attack.

TRAVIS and SAM: Corecut Dagger.

MATT: So Caduceus, are you doing anything position-wise, or are you staying put?

TALIESIN: I think I'm going, uh--

LAURA: Can you give us blessings, or buff us or something?

TALIESIN: Yeah, I can, actually. I'm going to run over to, since it's only six seconds to do this, I'm going to run over to where I can get the most of them within 30 feet of me. And everyone's too spread out.

MATT: From there, you could probably get most everybody except for Nott and Caleb and Yasha.

TALIESIN: How many-- okay, how many people is that?

MATT: That would be five, including yourself.

TRAVIS: Where are you, physically?

MATT: Sorry, four, because Jester's duplicate is not a target.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: So four, including yourself.

SAM: But Jester's over there.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: You just can't see her, Matt.

MATT: No, I realize that, but I'd counted five because of her figure.

SAM: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

TALIESIN: Okay. I'm going to cast Bless on everybody who's currently in range, including myself.

MATT: Jester. Caduceus. Fjord.

TRAVIS: d4.

MATT: And Beauregard.

TRAVIS: Or advantage?

TALIESIN: d4 to--

MATT: Attacks.

TALIESIN: Attacks and saves.

MATT: Yep.

TRAVIS: Thanks.

MATT: All righty.

LAURA: And I am going to prepare-- Oof.

MATT: Are you heading back to where you were, or are you staying put or moving?

TALIESIN: I'm going to--

MATT: You've got, like, two more rounds--

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: -- before this comes back.

TALIESIN: Yeah. I'm going to head back to where I was.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I'm going to prepare Guiding Bolt at 4th-level for the minute he's here again.

MATT: You've got it. Well, okay, preparing a spell is concentrating on it and that will end your concentration on--

LAURA: My duplicate?

MATT: Your duplicate.

LAURA: Okay. Well, then I--

MATT: No, sorry. Your duplicate is gone, because when you cast Banishment, you have to concentrate on Banishment to keep them away.

LAURA: Ah, okay, then I guess I myself ran over to do the Stone Shape that I talked about.

MATT: Fair enough. Yep.

LAURA: So yeah.

MATT: And there is a pit in the ground about five feet deep.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

MATT: Okay?

TALIESIN: Any luck getting the crystal out?

LIAM: Well, yeah, so I would say, in all that helter skelter action, I would, at least one time, try to use the claw to just go and pull. And if that doesn't work, take a slash.

MATT: You got it. So go ahead and make a-- is there a strength score?

LIAM: It's 26.

MATT: 26. All right. So go ahead and roll a d20.

LIAM: Plus eight.

MATT: And add plus eight to it.

MARISHA: Come on, kitty cat. (groaning)

MATT: The claw digs in and tries to pull, but that first round, it's just not quite getting the resistance you want for it. It's stuck in there.

SAM: It doesn't have a thumb. That's the problem.

MATT: Yasha, what are you trying?

ASHLEY: Okay. I'm going to try to wedge the--.

MARISHA: Make biscuits?

ASHLEY: Trying to get it in there and try to pop it out as--

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: Go ahead and make a strength check for me. So just roll a d20, and add your strength modifier.

SAM: Jam it.

ASHLEY: I wonder if I should just try to break it. Just start hacking at it instead. I'll try to get it out of there. Okay. 15.

MATT: 15. You find there's a slight gap in there, probably from the impact and slightly jostled by the pull of the claw, but it's not enough to start getting it out. But you do find there is a bit of an area where you can find the blade, get some purchase in there. And you're like, there might be a way to do this, with enough time and enough strength.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: But that's your turn there. Everyone else is prepping. We'll do your guys' rounds a couple more times here because you guys are catching up with what they've all been preparing for. So do you want to make another check?

LIAM: I'm going to try to pull it again.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Not roll a one this time. That's better. 24.

MATT: 24. It's beginning to pull a little bit free, but it's--

LIAM: Look a lot like Christmas? (laughter)

MATT: It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: So there you go. But it's still holding fast.

LIAM: Okay.

ASHLEY: Go again.

LIAM: Get it, get it, girl.

LAURA: Get it, get it, girl.

SAM: Fry it.

ASHLEY: Get it, girl. Get it, get it. It's cocked.

SAM: Don't you have an advantage because you're, like, awesome?

ASHLEY: No.

MATT: If she's raging, she would, but.

LAURA: Rage! Why aren't you raging?

ASHLEY: Wait, are we on our, yeah.

SAM: (pigeon coo)

MATT: It would just use one of your rages for the day if you were to do it, so.

TRAVIS: Just remember it'll drop afterwards because you're not hitting anyone or being hit.

LAURA: Right, right, right.

MATT and ASHLEY: Yeah.

ASHLEY: I would like to rage.

TRAVIS: Yeah, you would!

TRAVIS and ASHLEY: (roar)

MATT: All right. So you use another rage. You do get advantage on your ability check.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LIAM: Maybe because she knows she has a date coming up.

ASHLEY: Yeah, that one's better. Okay. So that would be a total of 23.

MATT: 23. Both of you are pulling at this and it's starting to feel like it's getting closer to coming free, but neither of you are able to close that gap. It's pretty tight in there.

MARISHA: We can buy time. Keep at it.

MATT: This is the last round for both of you--

MARISHA: Come on! Come on, kitty cat!

MATT: -- before the creature returns.

LIAM: Not as good. 15 on that one.

LAURA: The orbs, I bet were.

MATT: 15.

LIAM: Finish it. Finish it!

ASHLEY: Here we go. Cocked.

MARISHA: Release him from his cage.

ASHLEY: (groans) Oh, but advantage!

MATT: Are you raging again? It's using another rage, if you're going to do it.

TALIESIN: Have enough rages to keep up, or?

ASHLEY: Let me see. I have three more.

LAURA: Yeah, do it!

LIAM: Oh, gosh.

SAM: Tons!

ASHLEY: I'll take it.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Tons of rage.

LIAM: It's 2020, after all.

ASHLEY: Okay. Okay. Okay. 18.

MATT: 18.

ASHLEY: Damn it!

MATT: You're both trying and you're not quite getting free. It's very heavily wedged in there, and at this moment--

LAURA: Fuck.

ASHLEY: Shit.

MATT: There's a flash of light and the creature appears where it was, and then sinks in and then falls to one side. You can see it's technically prone at the moment.

MARISHA and LAURA: Yes!

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: As it is now within a five-- It is 15 feet tall, so the five-foot drop is just enough to make it a little inconvenienced. But since it does drop at the end of your turn, we're back in the initiative order here. It was after you, so it takes its turn.

LIAM: Dalek!

MATT: Stands back up.

MARISHA: Exterminate.

LAURA: Nobody prepped anything? Nobody was prepping to attack it the minute it appeared or anything?

MATT: You were.

MARISHA: We all were.

MATT: Well, no, you are holding onto the-- sorry, you were holding onto your--

LAURA: Banishment, but they were both--

MATT: You were and you were, you're both holding onto stuff.

SAM: I've got my dagger up.

MATT: Yep. So go for it. Those who are holding actions, take them now.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LIAM: Berergerd and Verth.

SAM: But as he appears, he's prone, right?

MATT: As he appears, he's prone, correct. So your attacks would have an advantage on him.

SAM: Except mine would have disadvantage?

MATT: Technically, because it's ranged, yeah.

LAURA: Sorry, buddy.

MARISHA: Ours have advantage?

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Pop, pop.

TRAVIS: Natural 20. (cheering)

MATT: Nice!

TRAVIS: It was because of that advantage.

TALIESIN: Yeah, go ahead.

MARISHA: Okay, that first one is a dirty 30.

MATT: That'll hit.

MARISHA: The second one-- oh my goodness, I rolled two fours. 16.

MATT: Misses.

MARISHA: Okay.

TALIESIN: You also get the d4.

MARISHA: (gasps) But I get a d4?

MATT: You do, from Bless.

MARISHA: Come on.

TRAVIS: Do I want to Divine Smite?

MARISHA: Give me, yes! A four, so 20 total.

MATT: 20? Misses.

SAM: Ooh!

MARISHA: Even though he's prone? Well, yeah.

MATT: Yeah. That gave you the advantage, but he's still heavy armor.

ASHLEY: 24 misses?!

MARISHA: 20 misses.

ASHLEY: 20 misses.

LIAM: Thick metal armor.

MATT: Heavily armored figure.

MARISHA: Okay. But the first one hits?

MATT: The first one hits. The second one, you actually go to strike and part of its open, wounded chest area sparks, and you recoil from it. But so you take your attack. Take your attack.

MARISHA: Okay. 10 damage for me.

MATT: 10 damage from you, all righty.

TRAVIS: 20. I don't think I'm going to--

LAURA: No, do it!

TRAVIS: Really?

SAM: Do it!

TRAVIS: All right. I'll pump a 5th-level Divine Smite into it.

MATT: All righty.

TALIESIN: Going for it, apparently.

SAM: Matthew, I have a feat called Sharpshooter, and it says it ignores half cover and three quarters cover. Is that what prone is or no?

MATT: No, no.

SAM: Prone is different. Cool. Disadvantage, then.

TALIESIN: You don't have a d4, do you?

MARISHA: I think--

MATT: But you were hidden from it, technically, when it arrived.

SAM: I was.

MATT: So you would have advantage, which would cancel it out. So it'd be just a straight roll.

SAM: Okay. I will re-roll.

MATT: Just roll.

MARISHA: I think Veth was in the--

SAM: 22.

LAURA: Wait, did you add a d4?

MATT: 22?

SAM: I'm not blessed.

MATT: Not blessed. 22 misses. (groaning)

LAURA and MARISHA: Whoa!

MATT: You throw the blade and watch as it--

MARISHA: Oh boy!

MATT: -- just streaks off the armor and ends up clattering to the ground somewhere near it.

LIAM: Aw, honey badger don't give a shit.

MARISHA: Oh no.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: That's 83 points of Divine Smite damage.

SAM: Damn!

TALIESIN: Wow.

ASHLEY: Wow! 83 points?

TRAVIS: Crit. Oh, and I got one more.

MATT: Paladin crits, they're nas-- well, no, you get one attack because you have the reaction.

TRAVIS: Great.

LIAM: Is there any wild magic?

MATT: Well, no, you guys are holding your actions. So no, this-- You guys can--

TRAVIS: Doubles it all up.

MATT: Correct. So you can take another attack. It's all right.

LIAM: Is there any shenanigans from his 20?

LAURA: No.

LIAM: It's not magic?

MATT: It's just a physical attack.

LIAM: But not the smite, though? All right. I want something crazy to happen.

MATT: It was Divine Smite.

TRAVIS: 28, okay?

MATT: What's that? 28 also hits. Roll a d100, if you don't mind.

SAM: Yeah!

MATT: It was a melee attack, but since it was Divine Smite, there was some divine magic blasted into that.

MARISHA: Give me something Fjord-ish.

LAURA: Come on.

TRAVIS: (laughs) 65.

LAURA: 65.

MATT: 65. (chuckles)

SAM: Oh no.

TALIESIN: No.

ASHLEY: Oh no.

MATT: Okay, okay.

TRAVIS: You're welcome.

SAM: End of campaign.

MARISHA: What's about to happen?

LAURA: What happens?

MARISHA: Oh, this is a journey.

LIAM: Grog drops out of a portal.

MATT: Sorry, I'm looking for something.

SAM: Everyone you know and love died.

MATT: Okay, no, I think, hilariously enough, as you strike them with this, the flash of divine energy smacks into it, and you watch the divine energy streak off and seem to float in the air for a second. Almost like time slowed down from the flash of the energy and they turn into a bunch of little butterflies.

ALL: Again?

MATT: You got the same spectrum.

MARISHA: Wait, how did you do that? Is that what you rolled?

LAURA: I guess I rolled a 65 as well.

MATT: You rolled right in the same space, yeah.

LAURA: Oh!

MARISHA: ♪ Can you feel the love tonight ♪

SAM: You guys!

MATT: So now it is surrounded by these slightly light green floating butterflies that are just drifting around the creature.

TRAVIS: Melora for the win. It was 17 points of damage for a total of 100.

MATT: 100 damage on a held action.

ASHLEY: Damn!

MATT: Not too bad. Not too bad. Okay.

TALIESIN: I've got a Sacred Flame, also, so.

MATT: All right, go for it.

TALIESIN: That's just a dex save.

MATT: Dex save.

TALIESIN: Prone.

MATT: Well, prone--

LAURA: I don't think you're at disadvantage on a dex save if you're prone, are you?

TALIESIN: Maybe not.

MATT: No, it doesn't.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: That would, even with the penalty, it's 19.

TALIESIN: Yep. He saves. So that's--

MATT: Rolled a natural 20. I'm getting all natural 20s on saves here. Not any attacks yet. All right.

TALIESIN: That's 18 points halved, so.

MATT: Mm-hmm, it's nine.

TALIESIN: Nine.

ALL: Nein.

MATT: For its return round, it's taken some heavy hits. Not too bad, not too bad. All right, that finishes all the held actions.

TRAVIS: Yep.

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: All right, as it stands there, it gets up from prone and one of his legs begins to step out of the hole that it's currently in. As it does, you watch as these runes in its body light up around it, and suddenly it emits steam from beneath the armor. This energy seems to just dissipate 10 feet around it. Beau and Fjord, I need you both to make a wisdom saving throw, please.

MARISHA: Oof.

TRAVIS: Thank you for the d4.

LIAM: Disco lights, here they come.

MARISHA: Wisdom saving throw?

MATT: Indeed.

LAURA: Uh-oh.

TALIESIN: I don't like that.

MARISHA: Oh, it's cocked. It was cocked. That's terrible.

ASHLEY: I just look and go, I'm safe up here.

TRAVIS: 18, with your Bless.

SAM: 18's okay.

LAURA: Maybe.

MARISHA: 10.

MATT: 10. Both fail. (screaming) You are both slowed as you feel your bodies--

SAM: Okay, okay, okay.

MATT: Your body is suddenly like--

LAURA: It's bad.

MATT: Time seems to drag on and people around you begin to move faster and quicker. Your reaction time is nullified. You--

TRAVIS: (slowed down) Help me!

MATT: Neither of you can use reactions.

LAURA: Oh no.

MATT: Your speed is halved, and you cannot make more than one attack a turn.

TRAVIS: Okay. Ooh.

SAM: Beau has been rendered useless.

MARISHA: Awful.

ASHLEY: Bad.

MARISHA: De-monked.

TALIESIN: Wait. For the duration, target's movement is unaffected by difficult terrain and spells. And other magical effects can neither reduce the target's speed nor cause the target to be paralyzed or restrained.

MATT: Okay. So your speed's normal.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: But you're still slowed. Everything else still affects you.

TRAVIS: Good.

MARISHA: Well, yeah.

SAM: Okay, that helps. That helps.

MARISHA: So I'm only half-monked.

MATT: Okay, and after that weird, like, energy steam emits, the red beam, right over to the one that banished it. And it begins to--

LAURA: Yeah, I did say, "It's me you want," after all. (laughter)

TRAVIS: And you took its place!

LAURA: Oops! Oh no! It can get all the way to me?!

MATT: It can.

LAURA: Oh no!

TALIESIN: Even after getting up?

MATT: Oh, no, you know what? It doesn't get all the way to you because it was prone. (cheering)

TALIESIN: I have to, I have to. I'm just, anything--

MATT: There you go.

TRAVIS: You're fine.

MATT: No, that's a valid point. So it begins to, like, gets up halfway and begins making its way in your direction.

MARISHA: I can't even take a reaction to Sentinel him.

MATT: That finishes its turn.

TRAVIS: Oh! Fucking run!

MATT: That brings it to Veth. You're up. Yasha, you're on deck.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: Did it see me? Am I hidden?

MATT: You are not hidden, when you revealed yourself when you attacked.

SAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. (laughter)

SAM: Well, that limits me.

ASHLEY: What is this shirt?

MARISHA: Oh, yes.

MATT: (laughs) Yes. Let you all suffer as I have suffered for years!

LAURA: Oh no.

SAM: I am cute.

MARISHA: Young Ashley kind of looks like young Billy Boyd.

LAURA: Oh my god!

ASHLEY: Hell yes! Thanks!

LAURA: In the cutest way. I love Billy Boyd!

MATT: (like Pippin Took) What about second breakfast? I dig it.

LIAM: Second eye!

MATT: (laughs)

ASHLEY: I always wanted to be an elf, but I'm a hobbit. (laughter)

TRAVIS: You were born of this world.

MATT: All right. So, what're you doing, Veth?

SAM: Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Gotta protect Jester. Gotta do all kinds of stuff. I can't do much because some of these things are concentration, and then Yasha will fall. So that's no good. So why don't I just shoot something at it? How about this? (breathes heavily)

TRAVIS: (laughs)

SAM: I'm going to try something stupid.

MATT: Do it.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Let's go.

SAM: A long time ago.

MARISHA: Yes.

TALIESIN: In a galaxy--

SAM: Jester painted me a banana peel.

MARISHA: Yes.

SAM: It's a magical banana peel.

LAURA: (cackles)

MARISHA: Yes.

SAM: I'm going to sneak up and throw it right in front of the monster's foot and see if it will slip on the banana peel.

MATT: Okay. Okay. So if you're going to sneak up, roll a stealth check.

SAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Yeah.

LAURA: This is so stupid.

SAM: (stutters) A lot. 34.

MATT: All right. So you bonus action hide behind there.

SAM: Yeah, and then like, sort of make my way around, through the--

MATT: Coast along the sides here.

SAM: Yeah. Yep.

TRAVIS: Oh, man.

MATT: And grab the edge, leap up, and chuck it out there.

SAM: Because it's making its way towards Jester, so like--

MATT: Towards Jester, yep.

SAM: -- just toss it right in front of that foot.

MATT: You got it.

SAM: That's it.

MATT: Okay. Okay. All right. That's your turn?

SAM: Yep.

TRAVIS: I like it.

MARISHA: So funny.

MATT: Okay. That brings us to Yasha. Yasha, you are on the ceiling and levitating, free-floating.

ASHLEY: Okay, I think I'm still going to try to go to town on this thing.

MARISHA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Wonder if I should just hack at it or try to pull it down. (growls)

LIAM: Ack, ack, ack, ack.

LIAM and MARISHA: ♪ You oughta know by now. ♪

ASHLEY: All right. I'll try to-- I'll try to keep prying it out.

MATT: Roll a strength check.

LIAM: ♪ Yasha can't fight with a broken back. ♪

SAM: When did you start rolling like me?

TRAVIS: You're raging, right?

ASHLEY: Shitty? Yeah. Still raging.

MATT: You're not--

ASHLEY: Oh, I wasn't hit.

MATT: You're not attacking and you're not being hit. This isn't mid-battle. This is just trying to pull something free. So every turn you do this, you are expending a rage to do so. So you have to decide.

TRAVIS: You have a limited number.

MARISHA: Is it per day or per short rest?

TRAVIS: Per day.

ASHLEY: Yeah, per long rest. I have five. Yeah. Forever. Um, um, um, um, um. Fuck! Okay. I'm going to rage again.

SAM: Yeah!

MATT: Okay. So you have advantage for a second roll.

TRAVIS: Slap yourself.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay, okay.

SAM, TRAVIS, and LAURA: ♪ (sing with background music) ♪

ASHLEY: 18.

SAM: Damn!

MATT: 18. It's getting closer. You are slowly prying it free, it's just not coming out. It is starting to show some looseness to it. All right.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: So that's your action. If you want to keep going, you could stay there, or you can attempt to move.

ASHLEY: I'll stay since I'm up there.

MATT: You got it, all right. That finishes your go. Fjord, you're up. Beau, you're on deck.

TRAVIS: I will use my bonus action to cast Hexblade's Curse on this giant-- Wait. Yes.

MATT: Hexblade's Curse, is that once per day?

TRAVIS: It is--

MATT: Long rest or short rest?

TRAVIS: Once per short rest.

MATT: Short rest. And you guys did have a short rest?

TRAVIS: We did.

MATT: Yes.

TRAVIS: Yeah. We healed up.

MATT: So it is indeed cursed.

TRAVIS: And I will actually use my movement--

MATT: In addition, the target can either take an action or a bonus action on its turn, not both. So you can either curse or you can take an action. Your call.

TRAVIS: I understand. I will take the curse off.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: And I will-- So if my movement speed is 30, that means I have 15 now?

MATT: Correct.

TRAVIS: So I'm going to use 15 to move away from it back towards that corner.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: And I will fire--

MATT: It will use its reaction to swing back at you with its bladed lance, because it has a reach.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LAURA: (whistles)

MATT: So.

TRAVIS: ♪ (imitates wailing horn in music) ♪

MATT: That is a-- (laughs) 30 to hit.

TRAVIS: Ye-- Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Do I just die outright?

MARISHA: Yeah. It just rips your spine out Mortal Kombat-style.

LIAM: We have such a Pavlovian response to that horn.

MATT: I love it, I love it. I've trained you guys well over time.

MARISHA and SAM: ♪ (sing with background music) ♪

TRAVIS: Oh no.

TALIESIN: Don't make that face.

MATT: Sorry, I rarely get to roll d12s, let alone a number of them, and--

TRAVIS: It was a thing.

MATT: That was--

LAURA: It was amazing?

MATT: 11, 11, 12, and nine.

LAURA: (gasps) 11, 11, 12, and nine?

TRAVIS: 33, 42?

MATT: 43 plus-- 50 points of piercing damage, as you're trying to move away. And as you do, Beauregard, you see this, as Fjord turns and then suddenly this lance pierces out middle of his stomach and he's now stuck from behind.

TRAVIS: Oh, because there's a barb on it?

MATT: Yeah, and the barb is emitted, and now it just pulls against your chest, and you're currently grappled by it.

LAURA: Through your guts?!

MATT: You got harpooned from behind.

TRAVIS: (wheezing gasps)

SAM: Are you dead?

TRAVIS: (hyperventilates)

MARISHA: Oh my god!

TALIESIN: I mean! This is not good.

TRAVIS: You guys, this hurts really, really bad! (hyperventilating) (laughter)

LIAM: You're going to be okay.

TRAVIS: The sword lights up and does a measly seven points of damage to it.

MATT: You've got it.

LIAM: Skewered, kebabed.

MARISHA: He got harpooned.

TRAVIS: I got fish hooked by this giant lance. It's sticking through my stomach. It got me on a pole.

TALIESIN: And a lot of damage.

MATT: You still have your action.

TRAVIS: Okay. Okay.

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'll fire (indistinct) first. Eldritch Blast.

MATT: You blow hell?

TRAVIS: Oh no.

MATT: How'd that go?

TRAVIS: I don't know.

LAURA: Fjord has been harpooned.

TRAVIS: Do I just get one of the three because I'm slowed?

LAURA: He has a lance through his belly.

MATT: No. Technically, it's not an attack, it's an action.

ASHLEY: That happened so fast!

MATT: So the spell fires three, so.

TRAVIS: Holy shit.

MARISHA: Oh, that's so cute!

TRAVIS: That's a 24 for the first one. The second one will probably miss with a 17.

TALIESIN: Add the d4.

TRAVIS: Oh, thank you.

LAURA: You're still blessed!

TRAVIS: So, uh-- Yeah, okay. So 28 on the first one.

MATT: That hits.

TRAVIS: 25 on the second one.

MATT: That hits.

TRAVIS: No, I'm sorry. 24.

MATT: That hits.

TRAVIS: Okay.

TALIESIN: 24. Okay.

TRAVIS: And 26. 28 on the second.

MATT: All three hit.

TRAVIS: On the third one. I am so fucking harpooned right now. I can't think. That's-- plus three, 13, so that's 16 points of damage.

LAURA: And that was just on his reaction. That wasn't even-- (burps) oh god.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: 11 plus three.

TALIESIN: Did you just nervous burp?

TRAVIS: 14 points of damage.

MATT: 14. Nice.

TRAVIS: And then--

LAURA: I barfed a little bit in the mouth.

TRAVIS: Nine plus three is 12. 12 points of damage.

MATT: Got it. Nice. Still a decent round on it. So as you're (groan). You lean back and release it, but it's a slow arc. And as they fire out, (impacts) they blast into its chest, leaving these scorch marks and part of the broken armor is a little crinkled inwards.

TRAVIS: I just look out everybody and go: Ah! Ah! (laughter)

MATT: Beauregard, you're up.

LAURA: Can we see that happen, or is it straight through? Can I see that Fjord--

MATT: You currently cannot see this happening. You're hiding behind the wall and trying to avoid this creature. And you just hear the noises from around the side, but you do not have an eye line to Fjord on this.

LAURA: Okay, okay.

MARISHA: Okay.

TALIESIN: Loud gurgling.

LAURA: A rogue butterfly just floats in front of me.

MATT: Yeah. Like, "Oh, that's pretty."

LAURA: Oh, pretty.

MATT: Yeah. There are butterflies surrounding you. It's beautiful in the moment of horrible, throbbing pain. Beauregard, what are you doing?

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: They probably just cleared away and then, pfff.

MARISHA: So my mind is blown by seeing Fjord impaled. I'm just going to run over, which is weird because I can move-- I can run fast, but my arms are in slow motion.

MATT: Yeah, you are-- you are a walking speed ramp shot, is what you are.

TRAVIS: (slow motion) Beau, get in here, help me!

MARISHA: (slow motion) Fjord!

MATT: All right. Are you going for the creature?

MARISHA: I am going to utilize his lance being impaled through Fjord. Sorry, Fjord. I'm going to jump up on the lance.

TRAVIS: (pained shout)

ASHLEY: Yes.

MARISHA: And I'm going scurry. I'm going to use it to scurry up his shoulders.

TRAVIS: (retches)

MARISHA: I have one good-- one attack. And I'm going to take my bo and I'm going to try and jam it down in between his plate and his--

SAM: Jam on it.

MARISHA: And his, um, yeah.

MATT: You got it.

MATT: Roll an acrobatics check for me with disadvantage because you are slowed.

MARISHA: But I'm not hindered. I've got Freedom of Movement.

MATT: Oh, yeah. I guess-- I'll allow it, I'll alow it, yeah.

MARISHA: Okay. So acrobatics?

MATT: It would make sense.

MARISHA: Just straight acrobatics?

MATT: Sure. Straight acrobatics.

MARISHA: Okay. 25.

MATT: 25? Yeah, you manage to leap off of the harpoon with a slight jostling of your body. Leap up, come up the side, and now you're on top, standing over it, and you can look down into that, one of the larger separations in its armor, where you can see these arcane sparks jumping back and forth in the middle of its torso cage. So go ahead and make the attack.

MARISHA: I'm just going to try and plunge it in there. So just one. Just, nope, only one pop, right?

LAURA: What if we can't--

MARISHA: Oh, my god!

TALIESIN: d4.

MARISHA: It's not going to make it.

TALIESIN: I know.

MARISHA: I rolled terribly.

TRAVIS: I'm right here.

MARISHA: No.

TALIESIN: No.

MARISHA: 15.

MATT: 15. Unfortunately--

MARISHA: 17. 17.

MATT: You try and slam it downward and it jostles just enough that you have to spend most of your physical mindset to stay atop of it without falling into it.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: No impact. I do need both of you to, at the end of your turn to make the saving throws again for me.

TRAVIS: Okay.

SAM: Wisdom, again?

MATT: Yes. Wisdom.

SAM: Oh, shit.

LAURA: We can save against it.

MARISHA: Natural 20!

TALIESIN: Not even with a d4?

MARISHA: 20, not even with a d4. 25 total!

MATT: All right. So you are no longer slowed. You, however, unfortunately are, Fjord.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: Payback.

TALIESIN: What was in that gas, man?

LAURA: (laughs)

TALIESIN: I'm talking about-- this is what you get for talking about farts.

MATT: Caduceus, it's your turn.

TALIESIN: That's not cool.

MATT: Caleb, you're on deck.

LIAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: All right. I don't have a ton I can do, so. That's-- he's too far. Fjord's way too far for me to reach him.

MATT: Basically, yeah.

TALIESIN: Okay. That's fine. I'm going to take a couple steps forward and I'm just going to do, because I've got nothing better to do at the moment, I'm going to cast another Sacred Flame.

MATT: Okay. Dex save?

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: 13.

TALIESIN: Nope. Hey, that's really good! That's 10, 18, 19-- 24 points.

MATT: 24 points. Nice.

MARISHA: It's so cute.

LAURA: Yeah. It's really cute.

MARISHA: I love it.

MATT: All righty. Well done.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: So that's your action, and that's 10 feet of movement?

TALIESIN: Yep. I'm just going to stay there for now.

MATT: Okay. You got it. That finishes your go. Caleb, you're up.

LIAM: Okay, I will move towards the center of the room, and with Fjord in my eyesight, I will call out: Fjord! I am so sorry. You are not going to like any part of this. And I use my bonus action to send Cat's Ire claw and surround him.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

LIAM: And then pull him to the left.

TRAVIS: (panting heavily)

LAURA: Pull him to the left!?

TALIESIN: Throw him to me. Throw him to me.

MATT: Go ahead. Go ahead and-- yeah, push him even further. (laughter)

TRAVIS: (screaming)

LIAM: Just going to put some peppers and onions on this. (laughter)

MATT: Go ahead and roll a d20, adding eight to it.

LIAM: Is he-- are you willing?

TRAVIS: Yes. Yes. Yes.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: This is against the creature's grapple.

LIAM: Okay. Aw, I thought it would be Fjord, okay. It's just a 16.

MATT: 16. That does actually work. (cheering) It's a 13 on its end. It has a great bonus, but it rolled low. So you do manage to (whooshing). No longer grappled. You do, using the cat's cradle, yank Fjord back off of it. The barb tears through again.

TRAVIS: (whimpers)

MATT: I'll say for that. (laughs) (laughing) You take another four points of piercing damage. (laughter)

TRAVIS: (high-pitched) Thank you. (laughter)

MATT: But you are no longer grappled. (laughter)

LIAM: That was a bonus action. So my hand is outstretched for that. Then my left hand just does a little curve ball Fire Bolt, which is my action.

MATT: You got it.

LIAM: Ranged spell attack. That is a-- oh, it's a 20, which doesn't hit.

MATT: 20 does not hit.

LIAM: Because it's so tough. All right.

MATT: Indeed. Sorry, buddy.

LIAM: That's okay.

MATT: All right. Is that your turn?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Jester, you're up.

LAURA: Okay. I am going to step out and say: It's me you want! And cast Banishment again. I'm going to banish him again.

MATT: Okay. What's the--

LAURA: And I'm going to assume he can't do it, because he rolled a 19 and a 20 the last time and it still banished him, so he's definitely going to go away.

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: That's fair.

MATT: Just going to roll for the fun of it. He's rolling super high. It was another 19, but no.

TALIESIN: Get them out of your system now.

MATT: So as it's running, (booming steps, whooshes). And it vanishes yet again. Beau, you fall.

MARISHA: Ah!

LIAM: Auto-banish is pretty cool.

LAURA: Auto-banish is nice.

MATT: And take six points of bludgeoning damage.

MARISHA: Even though I have slow fall, as a monk?

MATT: Yes, you take no damage.

MARISHA: No damage?

MATT: None, as I knock everything over. Three point land on the ground. No issue.

TALIESIN: Immediately--

LAURA: Heal them!

SAM: Heal Fjord.

TALIESIN: I'm going to-- let's see, hold on.

MARISHA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: I don't want to look.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm going to heal Fjord, but I will figure out how much that is and when--

MATT: Okay. Everyone else, you have a minute.

LAURA: A minute!

SAM: Keep hacking away at it!

LIAM: The claw will dive back up next to Yasha to help.

MATT: All right.

ASHLEY: Yeah, but what if we can't pull this thing because of the-- maybe it's, like, the orbs or the--

LAURA: You can try. Try it! Try it! You were getting it.

LIAM: -- five times, and I don't have to rage, I could just--

ASHLEY: Could you slap me?

LAURA: It's been, you have 10 rounds. You have a whole minute now. Just go.

SAM: Yeah, you can slap her.

LIAM: The claw goes (impacts)

ASHLEY: (roars)

TRAVIS: (roars)

MATT: (laughs) Okay.

ASHLEY: Will that work? Can I keep my rage that way?

LIAM: That's probably my action.

MATT: I will say by the time it comes back around, because that was his action, doing that. The rage would have dropped before it got to you.

ASHLEY: Probably.

MATT: So you have to spend a rage again. But from there, that point forward, if you want to keep using the claw to plink her, to keep her angry, I'd allow it.

MARISHA: Pretty good.

LIAM: That's what I'll do initially, but just assume that on each subsequent round I actually just go like this to your back and just start sinking claw in to push forward.

LAURA: Ooh.

MATT: That'll do it.

MARISHA: That's hot.

ASHLEY: I love it. Okay.

TALIESIN: 13 points just to--

TRAVIS: No. Yeah. I'll take it.

TALIESIN: 13 points.

TRAVIS: I will also heal myself a little.

MATT: Yeah. There's a moment of shock, Fjord, as it vanishes and the cat releases you and you look down. and the armor, the plate is wedged apart, and you look down to see how bad it is and you just see a hole. Like, a hole that big where it's just muscle and blood.

LAURA: I'm going to cast Cure Wounds at 1st-level. Sorry. So that's--

LIAM: Wait. Put the Cloven Crystal back in him first. (laughter)

MATT: Just plug it.

TRAVIS: He's got this little tumor for the rest of the campaign. Like, how's it going?

MATT: All righty.

LAURA: 12 points of healing as well from me.

TRAVIS: 12. Amazing. And I'll do 1st-level Cure Wounds on myself as well.

LAURA: We got to figure out something to do to attack him right away.

MARISHA: I'll get into place and hold my attack.

MATT: Yasha, are you trying again?

ASHLEY: Yep.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: You also get to make saves. You get to make 10 saves.

MATT: Correct, Fjord. Make some saves for me.

TALIESIN: You get 10 saves against Slow.

ASHLEY: Nope.

TRAVIS: Oh, okay. That was 11 points of healing.

MATT: No?

ASHLEY: Nope.

TRAVIS: Okay. 10 saves.

MATT: Claw crushes. Roll again.

LIAM: I'm going to burn another spell slot to keep this thing alive, too, by the way.

TRAVIS: Natural 20. There it goes.

LIAM: Because it's only a minute.

MATT: There you go. You're no longer slowed.

MARISHA: Will you remove my Slow, too?

LAURA: (imitates Marisha) Will you remove my Slow, too?

MATT: I did.

MARISHA: Oh. I thought it was still-- what's on me?

MATT: That is your Bless.

MARISHA: Oh!

MATT: All that Bless lasts for a minute, though. So that will fade before it returns as well.

LAURA: We can bring it back?

TALIESIN: Yeah, I will once it's time.

SAM: Matthew, I'd like to walk up the stairs, grab my dagger, and walk back down again.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: And hide in a slightly different position, but close by, and just ready a dagger throw.

MATT: You got it. The banana peel still is out there in the middle of the floor.

SAM: Soon as it gets back, it's going to slip.

TRAVIS: Yeah. I'll move. I'll actually move over here.

MATT: Over here?

TRAVIS: Yep.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I'm going to move and hide on the other orb. I want to be in a completely different place than I was before.

MATT: Over here?

LAURA: No. Down. Hiding as much as I can.

MATT: Right here, you mean?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: And put me where-- since it was heading towards Jester, put me in her path, on this side, but still closer. A little closer. Still so it's towards the banana peel.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: That is where he's coming. I don't want to be here! (laughter)

TRAVIS: I'll go down here, down in the middle.

LIAM: And Matt, Caleb backed about 15 or 20 feet away from you.

TRAVIS: Not to abandon you, but fuck that thing.

MATT: Right here?

MARISHA: No, you're good. You're good.

TALIESIN: And I can get with Bless--

MARISHA: He just Death Becomes Her'd you.

TALIESIN: -- one, two, three, four. I'm going to get-- I'm going to get the four of us right there. I think-- can I get four or five right now? I mean, how many people can I Bless right now?

MATT: If you were to come down here to cast it, you could get everybody except for Beauregard.

TALIESIN: So that's-- Well, right now, I can only do four people other than myself, anyway, so.

TALIESIN: Everybody except for Beauregard and technically-- No, Yasha would be in range because you'd be close to where she is. It's up to you.

TALIESIN: I'll get--

MATT: You'd have to be down here.

TALIESIN: I have no spells left. So 3rd-level, hold on. All right, doing it. So that's three, four, five, so.

MATT: Blessed. Blessed.

TALIESIN: Two.

MATT: So that's five there, and then Yasha would be a sixth.

TALIESIN: I'll get Yasha instead of Caleb.

MARISHA: If I moved closer to him, would I be able to get it?

TALIESIN: I'd have to pull it from someone else.

MARISHA: Oh, okay, okay. That's fine.

TALIESIN: And then I'm going to back up into the far corner in the very back.

MATT: Over here?

LIAM: Into the fart corner.

TALIESIN: Yeah. That way.

LAURA: "Into the fart corner."

MARISHA: That's the hallway.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: You got it.

ASHLEY: I rolled a 23.

MATT: 23?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: (creaking) Tink! (gasping) It begins to plummet.

LIAM: (whooshing)

MATT: (grasping) The claw catches it underneath, about six or seven feet off the ground. And now it's holding the threshold crest in its grip.

LAURA: How big is the threshold crest?

MATT: It's about two and a half feet across from side to side. It's a large shape. It's heavy.

LAURA: That won't fit into a Bag of Holding, would it?

MATT: Likely not. It won't even fit through the opening. You'd have to carry it with you.

MARISHA: Can we get out of here?

LAURA: Yeah. Let's make for the doors.

MATT: Right about now is when it would fade. You guys have taken some time here to set up, cast spells.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: Arrange, to wedge that free, pull it down, have a conversation, plan what's going to happen. We'll say right about now is when it returns.

LIAM: All right. I would have floated it back by Caleb, I would say, since it caught it by the ground.

MATT: Okay. So it's now on the ground over here?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: With the basketball in its hand.

MATT: (heavy impact) It appears right there where it was. Beauregard is right there in front of it.

MARISHA: Holding my action.

TALIESIN: Did it hit the banana? Well, yeah, because it hasn't moved yet. So it would've hit--

MATT: It hasn't moved yet. And it doesn't have to move because Beauregard is right there.

SAM: It doesn't get frozen in mid-stride? No, I guess--

MATT: Well, no, it's not frozen in time. It gets banished elsewhere and gets confused and tries to figure out where it is. And then it re-emerges. Yeah. It's not, it does not, a locked point in time.

TRAVIS: It's not questioning its existence, having been banished twice in a row?

LAURA: I know. It's probably so confused.

MATT: It is a being often, you can see, drawn towards having extensive, internal existential crises. (laughter) No, it's an automaton designed to guard a space.

TRAVIS: Fair enough.

MATT: But now with you there, it does get its ability back, but it's not going to use that. Instead, it's going to attempt to slam and hit you with its bladed lance.

TRAVIS: Beau, watch out!

LAURA: Wait, wait, wait! Wasn't Beau holding an action?

MARISHA: Yeah, I had held an action.

MATT: Yep. You do, so you go first.

SAM: So was I.

MATT: That's right. Go for it.

MARISHA: Pop pop. Oh! Oh, yeah, okay. 25.

SAM: One.

MARISHA: Sorry. 27 total.

MATT: 27 hits.

MARISHA: On both of them.

MATT: Yeah. Both hit.

MARISHA: I rolled two 15s.

SAM: I'm hiding. Does that--

MATT: You have advantage if you're hiding, yeah.

SAM: Okay. Thank god. Much better. 27.

MATT: That hits.

SAM: Yeah!

MARISHA: Okay. Fine. 13 damage on the first one.

MATT: All righty.

MARISHA: And 11 damage on the second.

MATT: You got it.

SAM: (whispering) 28. 34. 34 points of damage.

MATT: Nice. All right. So. (impacting) It takes all these impacts as soon as it reappears. It's currently running in an opposite direction, trying to figure out where it was. From the impact, turns its head back towards you. Its whole body shifts in your direction, Beauregard. You see the sparks jettisoning from various damage it's taken on its body. You see one of his knees is busted, now that you're this much closer to it. And it's just moving itself forward as it takes one giant swing towards you with its bladed lance to try and pierce it down into you from on top, like a giant hypodermic needle.

SAM: Matt, sorry.

LAURA: Dodge it!

SAM: I did wrong math. It's 40 points of damage.

MATT: Got it, 40. Okay.

TRAVIS: Four-zero?

SAM: Four-zero.

LAURA: Beau, dodge it.

MARISHA: I'll try.

MATT: That is going to be a 23 to hit.

MARISHA: Jeez, it hits.

MATT: And the slam against you is going to be a natural 19.

MARISHA: Miss, oh, natural 19.

MATT: Yeah. So it'd be 31.

SAM: Did it have to move to get to her?

MATT: It did not because she was right where it--

SAM: Goddamn it, Beau!

MARISHA: I thought-- I was trying. I was trying.

SAM: The camera like, zooms in on its foot.

MATT: It's, like, right there. (laughter)

LIAM: (as Veth) Come on, you son of a bitch.

MATT: You take 33 points of piercing damage.

SAM: Just step forward, motherfucker.

MARISHA: 33.

MATT: Yep. And you are grappled.

LAURA: And grappled.

TALIESIN: No, you're not.

MARISHA: Well, I can use five feet of movement to be un-grappled.

MATT: Correct. So you are grappled. You are pierced as it goes through your shoulder and comes out of the back of your shoulder blade.

MARISHA: (groans)

TRAVIS: Sucks, right?

MARISHA: Yeah, it really sucks.

MATT: But you already know it missed everything vital, and there is a way that you could probably arrange your bones and muscle and shift to maneuver you out, not too hard.

MARISHA: Yeah. It's not my spleen, but it hurts.

LIAM: She never uses those muscles.

MATT: Never, never, never.

LIAM: (deflating sound)

MARISHA: (laughing) Yeah.

LIAM: Pop pop? Fuh fuh?

MATT: The slam attack does--

MARISHA: It's okay. They're insured. (laughter)

MATT: 24 points of bludgeoning damage. As you're reacting to that--

MARISHA: How many? How many?

MATT: Because it does have advantage against you after you've been grappled by it. So like, it basically pulls you up and then just slams you as you're on the edge of its lance.

MARISHA: So 22?

MATT: 22, yeah.

TRAVIS: 50.

MARISHA: Oh my god. Yikes!

LAURA: Wow. Don't let him catch you.

MARISHA: Took me down by half.

LAURA: He does some serious damage.

MATT: All righty. So.

TALIESIN: Two attacks and you're out.

MATT: That finishes its turn. Veth, you're up.

SAM: Oh, me? Oh shit, I just threw my knife. (laughter) And he probably knows where I am.

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: But he's next to a friend, so yeah.

SAM: Oh yeah, that's right. You're engaged. I'll just sort of rock around the thingy-thing. Yeah, just around to the other side of it. And I will-- (cocks crossbow) I'll fire my--

MATT: You got it.

SAM: My Tinkertop Boltblaster. See if I can hit. Natural 20!

TRAVIS: Let's go! (cheering)

MARISHA: (air horn)

SAM: Plus sneak attack because it's engaged with Beau?

MATT: Yes, it would. Yeah. It's a critical sneak attack.

TRAVIS: Let's go, rogue shit.

LAURA: Come on. All sixes. All sixes.

SAM: The boltblaster.

LIAM: Is it a magical bolt?

SAM: I don't know. It is a magical weapon for sure.

MATT: Yeah. You get a secondary attack after this because you rolled a natural 20.

SAM: But no-- is it a magic one?

MATT: What's that? No, it's not magical weapon. It's spells and effects that are like, casting magic.

LAURA: You really want it.

LIAM: But what if it was? It'll be me.

TALIESIN: Liam.

LIAM: It'll warp me away.

MATT: (chuckles)

SAM: (whispering) Plus six is 42. But it's--

LAURA: Doubled?

SAM: Well, I mean it's a natural 20. So is that doubled?

MATT: Double the dice.

LIAM: And then add your bonuses.

SAM: Doubling the dice would make it an extra 36.

MARISHA: Whoa.

SAM: That's 78. Right?

LIAM: (whispers) Rogue.

LAURA: And that's just the first attack?

MATT: So as you fire this one bolt, you see now it has Beau dangling from this lance in its arm. And it just like, slams into her once, her body goes limp for a second. The limbs just fall back. She tenses to grab the edge. She pulls back the fist again. And you can see the red beam from its one central gem eye focused on her. As it pulls back, you fire up and see this opening in its armor where the sparks are coming from it. As you fire, it sinks in. And at first, it's like it didn't hit anything. And suddenly (spraying) sparks go flying out of it. You see its body-- (electrical crackling) It's still holding her, but it's hurt. It's having a rough time holding together.

SAM: Because it was a 20, it automatically fires again.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

SAM: Ooh, that's no good.

TALIESIN: You got a d4, add it to that.

SAM: Now I do. It's still no good. Nine plus 11. 20.

MATT: 20 does not hit him.

SAM: But I also have a bonus action to shoot again!

MATT: You do.

LAURA: Yeah!

SAM: Natural one. (laughter) That means it hits me!

MATT: Yep! (laughter)

TALIESIN: Battle [inaudible] things.

MATT: That was a rollercoaster of a round! (laughter)

TRAVIS: (shoots) Yes! (shoots, screams) (laughter)

SAM: It gives me five points of damage.

TALIESIN: End the game. End the game.

MATT: All righty.

SAM: Yeah, I fire once. I fire twice. It didn't work so then I'm like: What the--?! (screams) (laughter)

MATT: All righty. As Veth is like (yelps) cursing on the side from the pain. We move to... Yasha.

ASHLEY: Okay. So can I try to float over to--

TRAVIS: Please breast stroke over.

ASHLEY: Over to him?

MATT: So what you do know right now is that you cannot control the direction of this at all. Only Veth can.

ASHLEY: Veth!

MATT: However--

SAM: Also, I can only go up and down.

MATT: Can only control up and down. If you want to try and grab a hold of the ceiling and pull yourself along like an astronaut, you could try that.

ASHLEY: Would that be considered an action?

MATT: That would be your movement.

ASHLEY: Okay. Yeah, let's do it.

MATT: All right.

ASHLEY: Because I want to get over the--

MATT: So you see you reach up and grab the edge and begin grabbing some of the lip of where you just carved out the threshold crest from and give yourself a shove, and you just (whooshing)--

TRAVIS: Space walk that shit.

MATT: Drift for 20 feet.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: Three, four. That gets you about there.

SAM: Come on, Sandy Bullock.

MATT: But you're not quite there yet. You could use another action to-- or you can use your action to move further. You're not quite close enough to get to it. At this point, unfortunately, the levitation is not helping you.

ASHLEY: No, not at all. So if I-- (laughter)

SAM: Well, what do you want me to do? Drop you?

ASHLEY: But then-- okay, so I'll-- but if I try to get over there, then I can't attack him because that's the-- fuck! Okay. Um, um--

SAM: Do you want me to drop you?

ASHLEY: Yes! Drop me, drop me. But that's-- I'm still not going to be-- Yeah. Drop me.

SAM: Drop.

MATT: All right. You fall 30 feet. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: (theater yells) Onto the ground.

LAURA: But you're raging still?

TALIESIN: Now you're raging still.

ASHLEY: Yeah?

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: So you're, at least that's resistance--

MATT: So it would be seven points of bludgeoning damage reduced to three.

ASHLEY: Okay. That's fine.

MATT: You are prone.

ASHLEY: Worth it. I'll stand up.

MATT: Okay. (laughter)

TALIESIN: You could probably get a little ways over there.

MATT: So--

ASHLEY: What a turn!

MATT: What's your movement?

ASHLEY: 50 feet.

MATT: 50 feet. You have five feet of movement.

ASHLEY: I'll stand up. Oh, am I standing up?

MATT: Well, it takes half your movement to get up--

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: -- we'll say, so it's 25, and you moved 20 feet across the ceiling by just floating and pulling yourself along, so you have five feet of movement.

ASHLEY: Got it, okay, so--

TALIESIN: It was burning an action, too.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: You haven't burned an action yet.

LAURA: Oh, that was just movement.

MATT: She had that option.

TALIESIN: Oh, okay, so you haven't-- oh, never mind me, oh.

ASHLEY: But I can't do anything, because I'm a up close, you know?

MATT: Yeah, unfortunately.

TRAVIS: Throw the sword.

SAM: Do you have anything to throw?

ASHLEY: I'll throw the sword.

LAURA: Yeah!

MATT: Sure. Make an attack roll with disadvantage.

LAURA: Straight into the sparking part.

MATT: And with your angle it does have half cover, so.

ASHLEY: Ooh, okay, that's not bad.

MARISHA: Beau's like, oh thank god, Yasha's just-- no!

ASHLEY: Disadvantage you said?

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: A natural one. (laughter)

MATT: Okay, Beauregard...

MARISHA: (high pitched sounds) I was joking!

MATT: Beauregard, I would like you to just make a dexterity saving throw for me, please.

ASHLEY: Oh my god, if I stab you again.

MARISHA: (laughs)

SAM: Don't you guys have a date tomorrow?

TRAVIS: Honey? Honey?

MARISHA: Oh, I don't have the d4. You didn't get me.

ASHLEY: Oh, do I have a d4!? But wait, I rolled a natural one.

MATT: It's still a natural one.

MARISHA: 19.

MATT: 19. You, out of the corner of your eye, see Yasha throwing this blade and there's this moment, where you're like, this is uncomfortable, and you just twist back a little bit and it sheers of the metal right in front of you. Unfortunately, it does not impact--

MARISHA: Anything.

MATT: Anything. (laughs) And what did you throw? Did you throw Magician's Judge because that was the one that was out?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: Okay, so you do not have Magician's Judge at the moment. It is somewhere over here against the wall. (laughter)

ASHLEY: All of the dumb decisions.

MATT: It was a worthy endeavor.

ASHLEY: I'm just like, I have butterflies in my stomach, I don't want to fight anymore. I'm going to have a date soon. She might die.

MATT: It is a lot to concentrate on.

MARISHA: My knight in shining armor, she's here to save me-- oh god! (laughter)

MATT: My god, all right

TALIESIN: Reschedule your date.

ASHLEY: I just scream out in rage.

MATT: There you go.

TRAVIS: That's rage-worthy.

MATT: That definitely maintains the rage, no issue.

ASHLEY: Fuck!

MATT: That was pretty cool, to be like (sword whooshing). Just--

TALIESIN: Clank, clank.

MATT: -- not a very learned or experienced form an attack. (laughter)

MATT: Fjord, you're up. Beau, you're on deck.

TRAVIS: Oh shit, I'm up. God, I'm down at the bottom. Yeah, I'll fire three more Eldritch Blasts at this POS. ♪ Eldritch Blast ♪ in the face, hiyah! Bless still up? It's not, right?

MATT: Yep.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: ♪ Eldritch take the wheel. ♪

TRAVIS: Oh, I finally had cast, but that's 19 plus ten-- it's a 19 to hit, or 29 to hit, sorry.

MATT: 29 hits.

TRAVIS: Second one, that's a natural one, and third one, is 26, plus--

LAURA: A natural one.

MATT: Yep, on a spell.

TRAVIS: 29.

MATT: So two hit. Roll damage twice.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: And also roll a 100 dice too.

TALIESIN: Did you add the d4? Or does it matter?

MATT: It doesn't matter.

TALIESIN: Yeah, brain.

TRAVIS: Should I do the 100 dice first?

MATT: Yeah, why not?

TRAVIS: Yeah, sure. Okay. Hold on, I have this.

LIAM: Just only ever butterflies.

MARISHA: 65, 65, 65, 65!

LAURA: If it's 65, I'm going to be so impressed

TRAVIS: 77.

MATT: 77, okay.

LIAM: ♪ Back in the summer of '65. ♪

MATT: In your childhood--

SAM: Oh no.

MATT: What is a smell that would remind Fjord of his childhood?

TRAVIS: Salt of the sea.

MATT: For some odd reason, the air in the chamber surrounding this creature begins to smell like a fresh shoreline. It's like Port Damali's seaside. You begin to have sense memory of growing up along the beach, of doing medial chores and looking out upon the horizon, and just knowing the possibility for adventure. It's a very strong smell. It's like you're right there. Do your damage.

SAM: That's it?

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: (laughs)

LAURA: I love it.

TALIESIN: Did anyone else think he was going to summon the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man?

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

TRAVIS: 22 points of force damage.

MATT: 22 points of force damage.

TRAVIS: That's it.

TALIESIN: Teleport into another dimension.

TRAVIS: And I will use my movement to just move further back towards that alcove back here.

MATT: Over here? You got it. All right, that finishes your go, Fjord. Beau, you're up. Caduceus, you're on deck.

MARISHA: Okay, I'm just going to stay gripped onto this thing. I'm actually going to do some sort of metal shit, I'm going to grab it and I'm just going to pull myself in even further, and I'm just going to go for that open spot that Veth already made, and I'm just going to take my bare fist and just start slamming it--

MATT: Go for it.

MARISHA: -- right into--

TRAVIS: Fuck yeah.

MATT: Two attacks on it.

MARISHA: Pop. Geez, Louise. 24?

MATT: 24 hits.

MARISHA: And I don't think this one will. I know this one will-- oh, I don't know, nope. 20 total.

MATT: Nope. First one hits.

MARISHA: First one hits.

LAURA: Come on, big money.

MATT: You're just being jostled around on the edge of its giant big piercing arm.

MARISHA: Oh no, oh, that's a seven. Okay, okay, okay.

LIAM: Hit the off button.

MARISHA: 14?

MATT: 14, all righty, that does damage.

MARISHA: That does damage? Flurry of Blows.

MATT: Go for it.

LAURA: (laughs)

MARISHA: Lord, one's a two and one's a 16, so... 28?

MATT: 28 hits, so one of them hits.

MARISHA: Come on, you motherfucker. 10 damage.

MATT: 10 damage, all righty. You do have Extract Aspects, though.

MARISHA: Extract Aspects, I guess.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: It is resistant to fire and ice.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: It's immune to poison and psychic, and bludgeoning, piercing, slashing from non-magical weapons that aren't adamantine. It is vulnerable to lightning.

MARISHA: Uh-huh.

SAM: To what?

LIAM: Vulnerable to lightning.

MARISHA: Great to know now.

SAM: Fuck, I specifically didn't add lightning to my shot.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MARISHA: I was afraid to add lightning, because I was afraid it might soup it up or something.

SAM: It's got electricity on it.

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah.

LIAM: Bet it overloads.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: It's a damaged exposed automaton.

LAURA: Mm-hmm, that makes sense.

LIAM: Sure, sure, sure.

MARISHA: We should've been using lightning this whole time, I say as I'm losing blood at an exponential level.

LAURA: You can use your movement to get off it.

MARISHA: Oh yeah, I'll use my movement to get off of it, then.

MATT: All right, you pull yourself off of its arm, and you still have the rest of your movement if you'd like to shift somewhere.

MARISHA: I'm going to look at the banana peel that it's like six inches away from.

SAM and MATT: (laugh)

MARISHA: And I'm going to back up, and I'm going to look at it, and I'm going to say, "I'm the one you're looking for"?

MATT: How far back do you go?

MARISHA: As far as I can into that corner, I guess.

LAURA: Oh no, Beau-Beau!

MARISHA: I just want to lean it, not that far, not that far. I want it to come towards me. Split the difference.

MATT: There?

MARISHA: Split, even less, even less, that's good.

SAM: You said as far back as I can go.

MARISHA: That's good, that's good.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: I meant two squares.

MARISHA: One square back, one square back.

MATT: One square back? Okay.

MARISHA: Yeah, that's good, that's good.

MATT: Confirmed, okay. It will use it will use its reaction to take an attack of opportunity against you as you move out of the range of its piercing arm.

TRAVIS: If it fucking recaptures you.

MATT: That is going to be...

MARISHA: Probably will.

MATT: 24 to hit.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

SAM: You've been Sentinel'ed.

MATT: Sucks, don't it?

TRAVIS: Other shoulder. (groans) (laughter)

MATT: You take 39 points of piercing damage.

LAURA: Oh my god, Beau, are you alive?

MATT: As you begin backing up, it just reaches out and pierces you right in the abdomen, poking out the backside, and as it pulls back, it (whooshing) into your back and the barb catches you, and you can feel yourself dragging your feet, grinding against the ground.

MARISHA: I'm just like, "Oh, the banana, though!"

MATT: But you can continue to use your movement to get off of it, if you want.

MARISHA: I can?

TALIESIN: Yeah!

MATT: Because you still have more movement.

MARISHA: Oh, then I will plant my feet into the stone and try and find a crevice and yank back.

MATT: Okay, and you pull of of it without issue, managing to make another 10 feet of movement backwards. You are not grappled, you are fine. Well, fine, respectively.

MARISHA: Okay, good. I'm glad I didn't-- okay, great.

TALIESIN: It's bad to move.

MARISHA: Great. Geez Louise.

MATT: All right, that finishes Beau's turn, Caduceus, you're up.

TALIESIN: I am-- this is not cool. Yeah, I was going to hit it, but I've decided I've got a better idea and I'm going to cast Heal on Beau.

MARISHA: Thank you.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: 70 hit points up. (cheering)

TRAVIS: That's fucking huge.

MATT: Cleric spells, man.

TALIESIN: You're about to get your ass kicked, so I didn't want to try and do a full Resurrect on you.

MATT: Okay, now you going to move or you going to stay put?

TALIESIN: I'm going to stay put.

MATT: What's the range on Heal, by the way?

TALIESIN: 60 feet.

MATT: 60 feet? Yeah, you get her in that, you're good.

TALIESIN: I'll probably take a couple steps forward. Let me come forward. I want to-- even the-- like-- not quite on the glowing disc, but like--

MATT: There?

TALIESIN: A little closer to the glowing disc of doom.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Yeah, there.

MATT: What could possibly happen? All right, that finishes your go. Top of the round, we are Caleb. Jester, you're on deck.

LIAM: Caleb just saw all of that madness play out, looks at his hand, looks at the jewel, looks at the claw, looks at the thing, and I'll just use my bonus action to whip-- with the gem in its claw-- and just punch the robot as hard as I can.

MATT: How can far can it move?

LIAM: 60 feet.

MATT: 60 feet, yeah, it can get there. (air whooshing) As it rushes over toward it.

SAM: Robot punch!

LIAM: Natural 20. (cheering)

MATT: Go ahead and roll damage on that.

SAM: Is it magic, is it magic?

LIAM: Yes, it is!

MATT: Oh yeah.

LIAM: It's a magic claw.

MATT: So go ahead and roll a d100 for me, please.

LAURA: The claw turns into butterflies.

TRAVIS: Not the fucking butterflies.

SAM: What's a pleasant smell from Caleb's childhood? (as Caleb) The blood of my parents. (laughter)

LIAM: Well, it might be, because I rolled a 73? Which is really close to what you rolled.

TRAVIS: That's right, 77.

MATT: (disappointed) Aw, hmm. You see this brief sparkle of magical energy form around it and then sink in its body, and no effect.

LAURA and ASHLEY: (gasp)

SAM: Wait, what?

TRAVIS: Oh, it cancels the nat 20?

MATT: No, no, you still do the damage. The additional effect here, in this particular circumstance, does nothing, unfortunately.

LAURA: Oh, bummer.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: It would have been be really funny if it did.

LAURA: Did the automaton cancel it out?

MATT: No, I mean--

LIAM: The magic got sucked up by Eiselcross, right?

SAM: Or it's an effect that doesn't pertain to this situation.

MATT: It's an effect that does not apply to this creature, unfortunately.

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay.

LIAM: But it's a crit.

TALIESIN: Turned it into a pig or something.

MATT: A sheep.

TALIESIN: Sheep.

TRAVIS: It is a crit.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Yeah. Legitimately, it would have Polymorphed it into a sheep.

TALIESIN: Oh, fuck, man. (groaning)

LIAM: That'd would've been dope.

MATT: It can't be Polymorphed.

TALIESIN: We could've sheered it and run.

MARISHA: If you would've punched it into a sheep. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Pretty amazing stuff.

LIAM: Caleb would've been like, "Oh, I'm the greatest wizard ever." 46 points of bludgeoning damage for my bonus action.

MATT: Gotcha, yeah, and--?

LIAM: And then, but he sent it-- he didn't even see that happen. He went down, pulled out a snake adder's stomach, and then just pulled it back down his arm, and let go Acid Arrows at level four. So I'm sending acid arrows at it as well.

SAM: Ooh.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Acid arrows, bro.

TALIESIN: But it doesn't-- well, 19.

TALIESIN: Dream about the sheep, man.

LIAM: What's the deal with--

MATT: Liam, I'll save you the spell slot. How do you want to do this? (cheering)

LIAM: What did it? Was it the claw?

MATT: It was the punch, yeah.

LIAM: Oh, the claw.

TALIESIN: Counted sheep to death.

MATT: (laughs)

LIAM: I would say that the claw, as it was rocketing, it almost like a handful of quarters, a quarter roll, grips the gem and if this breaks the gem, so be it, and just goes-- (fist pounding)

MARISHA: (bleats)

LIAM: -- smashing it against the wall.

MATT: As it repeatedly bludgeons into the torso--

LIAM: I do my best Beau impression.

MATT: There you go. You watch with each impact, its body begins to crack open wider and wider, until eventually one impact of the cat's claw fist hits the armor, it buckles, and you watch as the fist seems to vanish into its chest. It stands there for a second. (sparking) The back side of its armor explodes and a flash of electrical energy and bits of its armor just shatters and scatters across the entire back wall. (metal clanging) All the way down the sides of the stairs and the middle of the chamber, as its body now has this gaping hole in the center and the cat's claw on the other side is sitting there, floating, clutching the gem. The central red gem in its face (sparks) and just goes dull before it (creaking) falls over the railing. (whooshing) Yasha, you have to back out of the way, as it clatters to the ground with a heavy impact and you see smoke, and dust, and bits of stone debris gets caught up into the air as it slowly settles (air whooshing) into quiet. You can see its ruined, no longer functioning form there, lying still on the ground.

MARISHA: Woo hoo hoo! Yeah! (applause)

TRAVIS: Nicely done!

LIAM: Somewhere, a spectral sheep is going, eh eh. Mm.

MATT: I know, I know.

MARISHA: Now's my cha-- eh.

TALIESIN: Sheep in the NPC lounge.

LAURA: Ooh, we should get out of here.

LIAM: ♪ God, I hope I get it. ♪

LAURA: I'm want to go over and try to get that gem out of its head.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: I'm going to use--

TRAVIS: It explodes.

MATT: How do you try and remove it?

SAM: How would you like to remove this?

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: I guess, I don't have any daggers or anything.

TRAVIS: You have a handaxe, right?

LAURA: Yeah, I've got an axe, so I'll try to take the axe out and go--

SAM: My banana peel.

LAURA: -- and like--

TALIESIN: It's screwed in, you just have to twist. Like a light bulb.

LAURA: Get the edge of the axe in and pop it like a hammer.

LAURA: Okay, go ahead and make a strength check for me.

TALIESIN: Still with-- no, never mind.

LAURA: Guide me! Aw. Oh, my patron didn't appreciate that. Five plus three.

MATT: This is your standard, basic handaxe?

LAURA: This was with my-- yes. My handaxe of two, plus two, plus one.

MATT: Wait, two, plus two, plus one?

LAURA: My handaxe plus one.

MATT: Okay, okay. So it doesn't break, because it is magical.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: But as you slam it, it's like clink. Ugh! It does hurt your hand. It's not quite giving. This isn't like the gem in the ceiling that was placed in as part of this. This is embedded deeply within its armored head and it's going to take a little more than just wedging it out with a handaxe.

LAURA: I pull my axe out and chop the head off.

MATT: Okay, it's pretty heavy armor. You can do this, it'll take a while.

LAURA: Oh, come on.

LIAM: The claw vanishes and the gem just goes (thudding) onto the ground. And I come over and start looking over the body as well, trying to see if I can find that part that I was looking for.

MATT: Make an arcana check.

LIAM: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I think my Detect Magic is still up because it's 10 minutes.

MATT: Is it concentration?

TALIESIN: No, well, maybe. Let's find out.

MATT: Double check.

TALIESIN: That's a good question.

LIAM: 27.

MATT: 27. The gem that's in its face--

TALIESIN: Yeah, you're right, never mind.

MATT: Yeah, so that would have faded. The gem that in its face is more of a specific visual-based element. If you would want to inspect its body, there is a possible chance of finding a power core of some kind if it hasn't been destroyed in the circumstances of the previous battle. So make an investigation check.

LIAM: Okay. 24.

MATT: 24, okay. And I would like for you to roll a d20 for me, just standard d20. On an 11 or higher, it's still intact.

LIAM: 12. (gasping)

MATT: As you're rummaging through the body, you find, embedded and attached to it, this semi-spherical cage, like this lattice work, not dissimilar from the stone latticework you were going to create beneath the threshold crest. But you find this cage that's bent and twisted backward and it looks like it just narrowly missed being destroyed from the impact of your spell, but you pull in, and with Jester's help, the two of you detach the elements of the cage that are currently holding via these metal spikes, the core in the center, and you gingerly remove it. And it's an almost octagonal, if not slightly oblong, gem that has this very, very faint, dull orangish-yellow color to it that just gives off this very faint glow of light.

LIAM: Could you just saw away that little bit of metal near it?

LAURA: That was an axe, sawing with an axe.

MARISHA: Oh god, she's going to cut herself one day, oh no.

LIAM: I'll save that for a rainy day. We should get out of here.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: We should definitely get out of here.

TRAVIS: How are we moving this huge stone?

LAURA: We carry it.

LIAM: We carry it, if we think we have 10 or 15 minutes, I can put it in here, and I hold up amber.

TRAVIS: It's true.

LIAM: It's heavy.

TRAVIS: Be the easier way to do it. Do we have 15 minutes?

MARISHA: That's a great idea.

TALIESIN: That's a great idea.

LIAM: Okay, so I set to work, put out the pieces of amber, start casting, takes 10 minutes.

LAURA: During that time, I'll try to get this gem out of the head.

MATT: Okay. I'll say, with a little bit of time, you manage to, along with the help of your friends and some spotted eye work by Caleb, who understands the inner workings of this, you manage to dislodge it. And this one is spherical. It has an attachment point at the back of it where it looks like a jeweler's filagree at the back of it, where this rubbery cord was attached to. And as you finally manage to pull it free, easier to do from the inside out, from underneath the neck as opposed to the front of the face and where it's specifically designed to be too closed off for it to be pulled forward, you manage to pull it, instead, reverse-wise from inside and pluck it out. And it's lighter weight than you expected, it doesn't feel like a solid gem, or at least it doesn't match the weight of other similar materials.

LAURA: Hmm, and it's red in color?

MATT: It's red, yeah. And you hold it up to a little bit of the light, and you can hold up near the light of where the source is emanating from the threshold crest. You can see it looks very cloudy towards its center.

LAURA: Ooh!

TRAVIS: Is it a rough gem or is it cut?

MATT: It's smooth. It's a polished, almost perfect sphere except for the very back of it where it was attached.

LIAM: Okay, would you like to me to-- I'll figure it out later. And I just put it in the circle.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: I go get my sword.

TRAVIS: Should we exfil with quickness?

LAURA: Yeah, well, he's got to put it in the thing.

SAM: We got 10 minutes.

TRAVIS: Oh yes, no. I'm sorry.

SAM: I'm going to grab my banana peel. Make sure it doesn't...

ASHLEY: Yeah, banana peel and I'll grab my sword.

MATT: Carefully retrieved, oh, you were so close to having that banana peel do possibly something, but--

SAM: Could've killed everyone in the room. (laughter)

LIAM: Slowly put the banana back in the peel.

ASHLEY: It's okay, my weapon didn't do anything, either.

SAM: I'm sorry I left you up there.

ASHLEY: Banana peel-- no, it's not your fault. Hey, we got the stone out.

SAM: Yeah, you did great up there. You were so angry at that thing.

ASHLEY: Well, I was trying to get it out. I just felt like I couldn't do anything, I wasn't helping in the fight.

SAM: You did it, though.

ASHLEY: (growls) (laughter)

SAM: We should celebrate somehow. Oh, you know what, tomorrow, you and me, we're going to do something to celebrate.

MARISHA: You dick, you piece of fucking shit.

ASHLEY: I feel like--

SAM: Because the chips were down in this fight, but we came back and we proved our worth, you and me, tomorrow night. We'll figure out something.

ASHLEY: I'm busy. I have plans.

SAM: No, I mean, we're on a crazy island of doom, you don't have plans, that's impossible. (laughter)

ASHLEY: I do, though, that I need to stick to.

LAURA: What are you doing?

ASHLEY: (stammering) I have a-- Why do I need to tell you guys?!

LIAM: We have no secrets in this group.

SAM: You know, we're a found family or whatever.

LIAM: We tell each other everything.

ASHLEY: Sure. What should we do? We're unsafe and it's dangerous.

SAM: We have eight more minutes.

TRAVIS: "What should we do?"

SAM: We're just sitting around for eight minutes!

LIAM: Sorry it's taking me so long. (casting noises)

TRAVIS: Wubba, wubba, wizard, wizard.

TALIESIN: I'll step over there with the...

ASHLEY: I'm going to check out this room a little bit more just to see if there's anything else we need.

SAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: (garbles)

ASHLEY: I'm going to look around and see if there's any extra items. Hey, the lance, the sword in his hand!

TRAVIS: Yeah, the big shish kebab.

ASHLEY: I'm going to take it.

MATT: Okay, and you're able to eventually dislodge it from the arm after cutting through its area. It is like a lance, like what people would joust with on a horse, except for on one end, it seems to be rounded on one end and is bladed on the other, like a long rapier with a little hook, a little barb on the end that comes backward.

ASHLEY: Can we store this anywhere or this is too big?

TRAVIS: You could store it.

LAURA: On your back.

TRAVIS: You can put it in the bag of holding, if you want.

ASHLEY: I don't know if I want a lance, though.

MARISHA: You can always sell it.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: We'll get rid of it.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TRAVIS: Did the other body, the other suit of armor that was under the rubble, did it have a weapon near it?

LAURA: It was just like a person, right?

MATT: Yeah, it didn't appear to have a weapon of any kind.

LAURA: It was just like a C-3PO.

LIAM: The android.

MARISHA: While they're doing that, and I'm not hearing the conversation that Veth was having, I'm going to go over to Caduceus. Thank you, again.

TALIESIN: Of course.

MARISHA: For keeping me alive.

TALIESIN: Well, you know, you got stuff to do later, so.

MARISHA: Speaking of.

TALIESIN: Yeah!

MARISHA: I was kind of curious about your stuff to do. You seem very uneasy with this forest that we're about to have to go back through and that you have thoughts, and feelings, and I don't know. We're about to go back through. I just wanted to get your temperature on this.

TALIESIN: This place is-- I don't like this place. That thing in there, that's not a forest, I don't know what that is. I don't even know how to explain what it felt like and what we saw in there. It's-- I was sort of raised to protect and respect life and death. And there are things in this world that are, I would say, perversions of death, things that mock death, and that, I'm used to. That in there, it mocks life. It's whatever, it's whatever-- it's everything that's wrong, it's nothing I ever even imagined. It's-- I kind of want to burn it on the way out.

MARISHA: Do you think it even can burn? It's lived underground, devoid of sunlight for thousands of years.

TALIESIN: It's not living, it's not lived underground, I don't know what that is.

MARISHA: But it's not dead either?

TALIESIN: No, it's just wrong.

MARISHA: Does it remind you of the corruption in the grove?

TALIESIN: No, it is--

MARISHA: Worse?

TALIESIN: I don't have the imagination for it. I don't know what it is. I'm going to see some of the things that we've been seeing for a long time when I sleep. This is just-- I don't know what this is, I don't like it. I don't like a lot down here.

MARISHA: What if burning it unleashes something worse? What if it's harboring something?

TALIESIN: That is the only thing that's giving me pause.

MARISHA: All right.

TALIESIN: But it--

LIAM: (whispering) Arboring.

TALIESIN: It would be a mercy.

MARISHA: Arboring?

LIAM: Sorry.

TALIESIN: Whatever's going on in these places is just, we can't let this get out. I know Jester thinks that I'm not taking this seriously because I don't want to just break it here and now, but I don't think we can, and I want to live to get out of here so that we can stop this. Getting in here has, I'm very tired. I don't know where you are, but I am very tired.

MARISHA: Well, I have feeling back in my hands thanks to you, so that's a step forward.

TALIESIN: Getting out of here could be rough.

MARISHA: I think you're right.

TALIESIN: And we got to take that thing as far away as we can so that we can figure out what to do with it, but I don't think it's going to break.

MARISHA: You're probably right, but I agree with Jester, and my biggest fear is that we encounter Lucien and he takes it from us.

TALIESIN: There's something wrong with your friend.

MARISHA: Yeah!

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MARISHA: I've always known that, since day one, let me just tell you that.

TALIESIN: Well, I mean from the stories I've heard, there's something really wrong. I mean, there's wrong-- there's cute wrong and then there's whatever-- I respect cute wrong.

MARISHA: Same. All right, well, I guess-- let me know what you think as we go back through this forest. We're with you.

TALIESIN: I'll talk to Jester and I'll see what she thinks.

MARISHA: Hey, are we going to have to deal with this lava river again?

TALIESIN: The what?

MARISHA: The lava.

TALIESIN: I'd forgotten. I'd forgotten that we'd even--

MARISHA: May be a good place to destroy things.

TALIESIN: Or at least a good place to prove that we can't.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: That's a plan, that's a good plan.

MARISHA: Just reminds me of the kiln in Uthodurn. Outside of it.

TALIESIN: Kiln is special. There's lava and then there's...

MARISHA: Magic lava?

TALIESIN: The blood of the earth. That's just--

MARISHA: Okay, you're saying a lot of weird shit, Caduceus.

TALIESIN: I'm having a weird day.

MARISHA: Okay, yeah.

TALIESIN: Okay. I don't want to fill your head with stuff; you've got stuff to do. Congratulations, by the way, well done. I won't tell anybody.

LAURA: (giggles)

MARISHA: What? As he walks away.

TALIESIN: And I walk away.

MATT: Okay, yeah.

MARISHA: (stammering)

MATT: While that conversation's happening, you were heading up the hallway. As you ascend the stairs, you can see now, that smooth, well-carved, high, tall hallway arches that you guys had walked through, there are edges of the walls that are just scraped and ground where you see this creature was not able to maintain a direct flow of movement. It was just crashing into and scraping along the sides as it barrelled towards you. It already came through sustaining quite some physical damage. But you continue beyond that. You come to the two sides of the T intersection where the force field had been placed, still good.

TRAVIS: No sounds, no voices?

MATT: Make a perception check.

TALIESIN: I'll join you in that.

TRAVIS: 17.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: 22.

MATT: 22, okay. When you eventually catch up, we'll get to that.

TALIESIN: Oh sorry, yeah.

MATT: It's okay. But listening out, you don't hear anything, eerily still, like a lot of what you traversed here beneath the ice.

TRAVIS: I'll just stay.

MATT: Okay. You complete your spell, managing to take the stone and encapsulate it within your amber vault. You catch up with Fjord while this is happening and also listening, it's eerily still. Joining him, looking past the exit that leads into that forest, you can see the same purple-gray foliage that just haunts you. It's alien, yet still so familiar and you don't like it.

TRAVIS: Quiet so far.

TALIESIN: We should avoid this. This is bad.

TRAVIS: Avoid what, this intersection?

TALIESIN: This isn't a forest. Just be careful. It's malevolent.

TRAVIS: So find another way?

TALIESIN: Is there a way around it? I dunno. We flew, if I recall.

TRAVIS: We did. If we can find another way, we could try.

LIAM: Should we check the perimeter outside of the treeline all around? Here, by the way, take this. And I hand you the amber. Put that in the bag.

TRAVIS: Oh! Are you sure? This is usually on you.

LIAM: Well, we don't want Lucien to see it.

TRAVIS: Yeah, that's smart. In the bag.

TALIESIN: Do you want to send a cat?

LAURA: It's not another dimension, right? Your little amber thing, that's not another dimension?

LIAM: No, no, it's just on ice.

MATT: It's just for ease of carry.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: And I pat Fjord on the shoulder, too, and say, "I thought we were going to lose you there." And before he notices it, I brush away some cat hairs, before he even notices they're there.

MATT and LAURA: (laugh)

LIAM: Let's go, let's check the room. (laughter)

LIAM: Oh, I kicked up the dander.

TALIESIN: Don't.

MARISHA: Oh no.

TALIESIN: Don't.

TRAVIS: Somebody start talking about something else.

LIAM: Dogs, right, aren't they the best?

TRAVIS: There ya go.

MATT: There ya go. Anybody else doing anything in particular while this is happening?

SAM: While all this was going on, is there-- the thing that attacked us is made out of metal, right?

MATT: Which one?

SAM: The big golem thing.

LIAM: The robot.

MATT: Yes, metal, and stone, and other internal... yeah, mostly metal and stone.

SAM: I'm just going to find a shiny piece of metal, so I can sort of see my reflection on it, and I was just going to practice for a couple minutes. I was just going to stare at it and be like, "Oh, oh, y-you walkin' at me? You walkin' at me? No one else seems to be walkin' at me, so you must be--" (yelps) And I'm going to throw the banana peel, just figure out a way to quick throw it.

TRAVIS: Quick draw?

MATT: Sure.

SAM: Quick draw.

MATT: Sure, all right, so you're quick draw practicing your banana peel.

SAM: Yeah, yeah.

MATT: You got it. Okay, good to know.

SAM: You know, like a good place to stow it.

MATT: Make a note of that here.

MARISHA: Just right in the sleeve?

SAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: So you can just--

TRAVIS: You walkin' at me, punk?

SAM: You walkin' at me?

ASHLEY: You walkin' at me?

LIAM: (gun cocking noise) (laughter)

LIAM: Perfect.

LAURA: I'm going to... (laughter)

MARISHA: Try to just do butterfly knife skills?

SAM: With a banana peel?

LAURA: I'm going to sit down on the ground, watching Nott play ninja with a banana peel, and I'm going to pull out some of the bugs that I've been gathering and feed them to Sprinkle.

SAM: Hey, look at that!

MATT: Comes out. (smacking)

LAURA: That was a pretty crazy fight, huh?

MATT: (chittering)

LAURA: You're welcome.

MATT: (chitters) And goes back into your hood.

TRAVIS: (as Sprinkle) This changes nothing. (laughter)

MATT: All right, so those of you that are at the front, what are you doing?

LIAM: I think we're going to start checking all around the outer edges of this room to see if there are any other passages out of here. And I will sprinkle some soot and cast Comprehend Languages in case there's any writing to be found.

MATT: Okay, no worries. Okay.

TALIESIN: Just out of curiosity, I'm going to try a Divine Intervention.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: If you can see this place, what's the safest way out of it and what should we do with it once we leave?

TALIESIN: No.

MARISHA: Oh.

MATT: Aw, her vision can not pierce the ruin, unfortunately.

TALIESIN: 39 on the table, so, sorry, no.

MATT: Doesn't work for that, but yeah.

LAURA: Can I catch up with Caduceus as we're going?

MATT: Mm-hm.

LAURA: What do you want to do, Caduceus?

TALIESIN: Part of me wants to burn it on our way out.

LAURA: Yeah?

TALIESIN: What do you think? Beau thinks it might make things worse.

LAURA: I dunno, it seems pretty terrible. Maybe if we fly up and over it and we're coming out, I can send down some fire, maybe some radiant fire to take it out? It seems so evil.

TALIESIN: I think just fire oughta do it.

LAURA: Well, I can do that, too.

TALIESIN: Is it-- from what I remember when you talked to it, and when we tried to talk to it, it seemed like there was pain, if I recall.

LAURA: And hunger.

TALIESIN: We've got to stay away from these things as much as possible. We've got to get out of here soon.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: While you're doing that, both of you, go ahead and roll perception checks for me, please. Who's taking the right side and who's taking the left?

LIAM: I will take the left side.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: Balls, five.

LIAM: 27.

MATT: 27, okay. Fjord, as you move along the right side, right? You're taking the right?

TRAVIS: Mm-hm.

MATT: You take a good long look around, your attention keeps being pulled towards the forest. You swear you're hearing movement, or just feeling something looking at you over in that direction, and you keep kind of-- no, nothing. And you keep walking, and keep walking.

LAURA: Oh, I hate it.

MATT: And it's just-- it's making you feel gross, like you just want to shower, in proximity to whatever this strange collection of unnatural forest would be. You do eventually come upon what looks to be a similar archway to the one that you guys had gone through to find where the vault was, but it is collapsed about 10 feet back in. You can see, it is filled with rubble and closed off entirely. You, moving along, find another hallway that continues onward. And as you continue, almost the same distance to the previous chamber you were in, you can see what looks to be another T intersection.

LIAM: Well, I will stay away from that T intersection until I discuss with the group. So, that dipped out of the chamber, another hallway, another T. I Message to Beauregard and say, "I found another passage off to the left ahead, but I'm going to keep moving around to see if there is anything on the opposing side from you all." So, I will exit there and keep going around.

LAURA: You're just by yourself.

LIAM: Yes.

LAURA: You're just by yourself, a little wizard, by yourself, wandering around.

TALIESIN: Do we have like dun, and dun, the four and the three?

LIAM: But I did tell everyone where I was going.

MARISHA: I relay the message. He found another passageway.

TALIESIN: Let's head that way. Keep going around, not through the forest. Don't-- not into it.

TALIESIN: As you step out of the hallway here, you look over, back towards the forest, and you feel that same kind of just odd draw, like something's over your shoulder. You keep catching yourself just flinching back, and there's nothing there. Continuing around, eventually you and Fjord meet each other on the opposite end. And this is a wide chamber, the perimeter of it is quite large to-- it feels like you're walking along the outside of a legitimate underground small forest. But eventually, you do meet up and realize that you've-- it looks to be almost like there are three exits that would have been from the central chamber, like a Y, if you will. One of which is entirely collapsed and the other two you've come across.

LIAM: Okay. You getting the creepy crawlies in here?

TRAVIS: Yeah, it feels like we're being watched.

LIAM: Come on, I found a passageway and I call the others. So, I'll just double back to meet.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: We meet up in the middle.

MATT: You all eventually gather back at that third chamber. You come upon the same T intersection. What do you do?

LIAM: Well, let's try what we tried before. I'll throw up Detect Magic.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: To see if the same is here.

MATT: As you throw up Detect Magic, you can immediately sense the strong magical field that cuts off that hallway ahead of you, similar to the first chamber you came across.

LIAM: Okay, Dispel at third.

MATT: Okay, go ahead and roll a d20 and add your intelligence modifier, please.

LIAM: Balls.

LAURA: (laughs) I rolled a five.

SAM: Bless.

LIAM: 10.

TRAVIS: Balls.

MATT: All right, unfortunately, as the Dispel completes, you guys see a brief shimmer, like someone threw dust across a glass floor. And you can, for a brief second there, see the outer edge shimmering of this Wall of Force in front of you.

LIAM: Well.

MARISHA: Did you do it?

LIAM: No.

LAURA: Can you try again?

LIAM: Nein.

MARISHA: Oh, shit. What about either of you?

SAM: Do you have yours?

ASHLEY: Yeah, I think. I don't think I used it, right?

MARISHA: I don't think you did.

ASHLEY: Let me double check to see if it is marked.

LAURA: I mean, I can-- I-I-I--

MATT: I believe you did last session.

ASHLEY: I think I did.

LAURA: I have a couple third levels left. I'll try it as well.

MARISHA: While they're talking about that, can I look at the archway above this hallway that we're going to go to? Is there a sign or writing above it?

MATT: Go ahead and make a perception check.

MARISHA: Perception, not investigation?

LAURA: That's okay, I already said it.

LIAM: Yeah, you got it.

MARISHA: Oh, oh, oh, that's good, that's good, that's good, 23.

MATT: 23, you look up at the ceiling above, and you can see the heavy cracks, structural damage that it's taken, but it's still holding okay. The arch design of this makes it fairly strong to hold any sort of above weight. So, while there is some structural damage, you don't feel any immediate danger of it collapsing or falling inward. You don't see any signs of any sort of writing or language at this moment and this juncture.

LAURA: Was there any words on the outside of the archway like there was on the other archway?

MARISHA: That's what I was just checking and he said no.

LAURA: Oh, okay.

MATT: Oh. On the outside of the chamber you mean?

MARISHA: Yeah, on the archway, yes.

MATT: Sorry, yes, you did see writing.

MARISHA: Oh, oh.

LAURA: Oh, so you would have seen it because you had Comprehend Languages up.

LIAM: Caleb would have been able to read them, because I have Comprehend up?

MATT: Correct. This says "Centurion Quarters."

LIAM: Oh, this is where our robot came from.

LAURA: Oh, oh.

LAURA: Oh.

MARISHA: Okay, okay.

SAM: Oh, they have a bedroom, that's nice.

LAURA: Do we want to waste-- Do we want to spend time here or do we want to try to get out?

SAM: Well, we know that every moment we spend here, the baddies are getting closer and closer.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: So we should get out and get away.

TALIESIN: Yes.

SAM: And the fastest way that we know to get out is through the forest of doom, but we're not going that way.

LAURA: We can fly up and over it if anybody has spells that can do it. I don't have any left.

LIAM: I do.

LAURA: For all of us?

LIAM: I have one last-- well, I can shepherd us up--

TALIESIN: Up and down.

LIAM: -- one at a time.

MARISHA: How high was that, the way we came? It was like 30 feet or something, right?

LAURA: It was like 80 feet.

MATT: Oh, from the ceiling of this chamber where the rope dangled down from, that was about 100 feet.

MARISHA: And we got the rope back, right?

LAURA: No, the rope should still--

MATT: The rope is dangling about 20, 30 feet from the top there.

TALIESIN: Oh.

LAURA: So yeah, we should try it.

MATT: Well, the top of the trees ends-- the tallest tree that was there beneath it, 20 feet below the rope.

LAURA: But Caleb could fly from the ground level, around the forest, and up to the rope? Potentially?

MATT: Potentially, yeah.

MARISHA: So we can get out the way we came.

LAURA: Okay, yeah, I think we should do that.

LIAM: Yeah, I have have one four left, so I will owl it up, giant owl it up.

SAM: So, we're specifically trying to not touch those trees?

LAURA: Don't touch the trees, up and out.

SAM: But nothing happened last time. We were on them.

LAURA: I'll be the last one that you take, Caleb.

LIAM: Okay.

MARISHA: You're right, we did smash through the branches of some trees.

LAURA: Yeah, but I don't want to touch it now, now that I know what it's like. I don't want to touch them again.

MARISHA: Fine with me.

LAURA: I feel like they know us. I don't like it.

TALIESIN: I don't like it. Are we still going to have somewhere to sleep tonight?

LIAM: Yes, a very comfortable dome.

TALIESIN: Okay, that's fair.

LAURA: Up and out.

MARISHA: All right, let's get out.

LIAM: Okay, one at a time. I will take Veth first.

SAM: I mean, I can spider climb if you need it for other people, but if we have enough, if you can ferry us, then --

LAURA: There's enough time, it's an hour.

LIAM: It's an hour.

SAM: Great, so then take me.

LAURA: Do I need to do anything to avoid tree, or--?

MATT: Not necessarily, I mean, there's enough space between the edges of this chamber. If you're ferrying people up one-by-one to that rope, you could do so.

LIAM: I will fly Veth all the way up to the very top of the chamber where the rope goes into the ventilation shaft, so that she can be there to be our scout. And then I will go one at a time, starting with Beauregard, Yasha, Fjord, Caduceus, and end with Jester.

MATT: Okay. One by one, you manage to, in your eagle form, lift them up and go over this darkened forest below. You have no light source beyond the individuals you are carrying.

LIAM: I cast an owl, so the owl should be okay.

MATT: Right, so you have darkvision, but I'm saying, from a visual standpoint, for those of you who do not have a light source, this darkened chamber, you are just being carried and guided through this subtle stale wind of the interior of this chamber, this nearly sealed interior has held, untouched by most for probably a millennia or more. Until one by one, you make your way up to the rope, heading up into the broken decline where you guys had originally descended into the ceiling of this chamber.

LAURA: Before I leave--

MATT: Mm-hm. So, we're going to get to the rope, and I'm going to assume you have to drop your form.

LIAM: Oh, if you are talking to me, yeah.

LAURA: I mean, if you want to get up and out of that tunnel, you can't go up through as an owl. It's a tight tunnel.

LIAM: Caleb recognizes the look in her eye, and (poof) onto the rope.

LAURA: So, the two of us are hanging from the rope, yes?

LIAM: Right, yeah.

LAURA: That forest needs to be destroyed, Caleb. I dunno how much magic you have left, but I have one high level Fire Storm left, and I want to use it.

TALIESIN: I don't think we need-- I assume I'm-- because I would have been waiting for this.

MATT: Well no, if you want to wait at this point, so you're waiting at the edge?

TALIESIN: I would probably be in the tunnel because this is a conversation I would have wanted to be a part of.

MATT: Okay, so you would have been on the rope and waiting for everyone else to go above. Because they're currently hanging from the rope.

TALIESIN: Oh, okay, so yeah, I'm not there yet. Never mind, that's fine.

LAURA: You said you wanted to destroy it, I'm just going with what we talked about, Caduceus.

TALIESIN: Definitely thinking about it, yeah.

MATT: So, what are you doing?

LIAM: I mean, I could, but you know what you're doing.

LAURA: Okay, get ready to move, I guess. I don't know what these trees are going to do.

TALIESIN: Wait, we haven't gotten everybody out yet.

LAURA: Everybody's-- I'm assuming we're the last ones. Everybody's gone up the tunnel.

LIAM: Hanging above us or in the tube.

SAM: Is it easy to climb up the air conditioning shaft, or wait-- there is a rope, right?

MATT: There is a rope you guys still have affixed.

SAM: I'm going to just slowly start moving.

MATT: Yeah, as you guys are all making it up there-- I will say, with all of you all at once, in succession, heading up the rope-- well, you're not all in succession because you've been ferrying them up, so yeah, no. There's no worry, continue.

LIAM: You're going to go onto this rope, yeah?

LAURA: Yeah, of course, so go up above me.

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: I'll come up quickly. And I'm going to cast seventh level...

SAM: Napalm.

LAURA: Fire Storm.

SAM: Yeah!

LAURA: Into the forest below.

TRAVIS: You have Fire Storm?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: As you stand there, holding onto the rope, just on the lip of the bent metal shaft that you had all climbed down through, you glance down, clutch your symbol of the Traveler, and look down at this extremely malevolent space beneath. And with a nod, you watch as-- (flames whooshing) this circle of bright radiant flame just suddenly burns and travels beneath the canopy. It's almost like this burning ember of an underlight. And as it immediately bursts up, you see flames begin to catch, and swell, and expand. This is going to be a raging forest fire very soon. And with that, smoke begins to rise up, and you begin to climb up. As you get within this chamber, partway in, climbing to meet the rest of your friends who are all currently up in the laboratory chambers where they're awaiting you, you hear this sound. This faint... echoing screeching, this-- (creaking, screeches) But dozens of them, shifting and screaming, horrible. You don't know what they're coming from, but they're shrieks of... fear, pain, who knows. By the time you finish that thought, you catch yourself coughing because this domed chamber that currently holds a forest fire is now pumping smoke directly into this tiny flue that you are climbing through.

SAM: We're all idiots.

MATT: So, as Jester and Caleb--

SAM: (hacking coughing)

MATT: -- begin making their way up.

LAURA: Everybody else has gone.

MATT: You guys are standing up there waiting for them and you just watch black smoke start pouring out.

TALIESIN: I would be pulling.

MATT: You guys start pulling the rope and helping them up, and eventually you drag them back out.

MATT: How long does your Spiritual Guardian last for?

TALIESIN: A long time.

MATT: Yeah, eight hours? It's still floating there, this radiant image of a celestial, translucent warrior in curled leaf and vine armor, this faint greenish glow to it, this feathered crown upon this not quite there head.

TALIESIN: Yeah, weird crystally thing.

MATT: Mm-hm.

TRAVIS: Hell yes.

TALIESIN: No head.

MATT: And eventually, you all manage to catch up into this chamber.

LIAM: Caleb would have-- just to rewind a second, would have waited at the edge of that entrance and watched. And like the fire bug he is, would have just stared at it all until the smoke overwhelmed.

LAURA: Until I pushed your butt.

LIAM: And you swatted his ass.

LAURA: Get out, get out.

LIAM: Absolutely. Absolutely.

MATT: All righty, as you all reconvene, you, knowing exactly what transpired, and you feel however you feel about that. There's that quiet moment as you all begin to hear those dozens, now almost hundreds of screeching voices, echoing, and the reverb giving this weird discordant resonance to this sound of something, something dying.

LAURA: They weren't going to be saved.

TALIESIN: There was-- this was-- this was closest to kindness. That was not okay. We should go.

MATT: You all take a beat, look about the surroundings, and begin to continue your trek out of this portion of the fallen Aeor ruin. We're going to take a break.

MARISHA: (groans)

MATT: Be back here in a few minutes.

LIAM: Good shit.

ASHLEY: (groans)

TRAVIS: What the fuck are those?

MARISHA: I don't know.

LAURA: I want to know.

MARISHA: Was it the trees?

LAURA: Oh, it was definitely the trees.

TRAVIS: Had to be. Or something in the tree trunk?

LAURA: Those trees were alive!

TALIESIN: The trees were alive and-- they were not-- they were weird, they were weird.

ASHLEY: Alive as something.

LAURA: Can you take your Spiritual Guardian-- can it come with us?

TALIESIN: I'm just going to cancel it once we're at the entrance of the-- I'm just going to make our traces go away.

LAURA: Oh, okay.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Minus the black smoke portion.

LAURA: Yeah, oh yeah, we're definitely going to be seen.

MATT: But nevertheless, we'll see you here in a few minutes.

TALIESIN: (sighs)

Break
(calm orchestral music) Wow. Oh god. Cool. Oh god! Oh, Brian, Brian, Brian! (women laughing) What is happening? This is worse than the last time. No no no no no, hold on. Are we on the internet? Yes! It's our final show of 2020! Oh! Yay! Oh god, okay, I'm so glad you clarified that, 'cause when you said final show, I thought you meant this was gonna be our final show. Scared me for a second there. Well, I mean, it could be our final show. It could be. It really just depends on how just awful your jokes are. My jokes? How is so much riding on my jokes? Okay, okay, there's no way. It's all riding on your jokes. There's no way, ladies. Here, I've got one for you. Knock knock. Who's there? Okay, a naked horse walks into an opium den. Nope. No no no, no, no, nope. A naked horse walks into an opium den who? No, intro. Intro time. Overruled by Dani.

It was the night before Winter's Crest. And all through the Xhorhaus. All the creatures, all the Mighty Nein was stirring. Not a creature was stirring. The Mighty Nein was stirring. Even a little mouse. It can't be mouse.

LAURA (V.O.): (chill music) Hey Critters, Laura Bailey here. Let's see what's up in the Critical Role shop. Ooh, look at this, look at the details, ooh. Roll an investigation if you want, it's basically perfect. This holiday season, give the gift of effortless style. These holidays, you know, they're just around the corner. This is a lot of stuff, you guys, we have like so many cool things right now. Oh my gosh, it's so amazing. So click on over to the Critical Role shop. Don't worry, there's a few more minutes in the break. You still got time.

MARISHA: (smooth jazz) Hello, everyone. It's me, Marisha Ray, creative director for Critical Role content, and I want to take a moment to speak from the heart about how much we appreciate your support. No frills, no crazy gags, just honesty. Over the past five years we've made a lot of ridiculous promos in an attempt to earn your subscription here on Twitch. We've leaned on juvenile prop humor, cheap costumes, and putting our loyal employees in slightly embarrassing situations eagerly hoping that we've captured your attention. Today I am not resorting to edgelord jokes written by Brian W. Foster, or dressing Sam as a celebrity to recreate an obscure commercial most people haven't seen to remind you that subscribing with a Twitch Prime account requires you to resubscribe each month. We don't always need an elaborate green screen gag or have to put Matt in cosplay to tell you that you can easily gift subscriptions to fellow Critters if you're feeling generous. I mean hell, I've consumed entire production days shooting complicated parody promos featuring Taliesin Jaffe as a vintage spooky boy in full monochromatic glory, all in the hope that your smile may turn into a sub. But not today. No weird graphics, no puppet murder, no Sam Riegel. It's just me, here to say thank you. Love you all. Goodnight.

Part II
MATT: And welcome back. So as you all had just finished ascending the subterranean duct that led to the now burning forest beneath the laboratory, you all took stock of a successful delve thus far into here, A2. And now you stand in the center of this quiet, darkened, half-collapsed laboratory chamber, where behind you, not but 20 feet, there are numerous, large, liquid-filled glass tubes were living beings occasionally twitch from within. What do you do?

LAURA: Keep going. We keep going. We leave.

MATT: Okay. You all head back down the long hallway, eventually curving over into the chamber where you've battled the cherub-faced lure abomination. Its body is still on its side there. The smell awful in the chamber, as it's expressed whatever it needed to in death.

SAM: Ew. (laughter)

TRAVIS: "Expressed whatever it needed to."

LIAM: Its feelings.

MATT: Yeah, its feelings. But you head to the opposite entrance portion and that door's now back out of its wedge, where you previously found it upon arriving.

SAM: It's out of its wedge, meaning someone moved it?

LAURA: Oh, that's right.

SAM: Or it's where we left it.

MATT: Impacted and slipped out of it this mooring and it's locked.

SAM: We got to get through it again.

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: The screen door--

ASHLEY: Should we try to just get it back up again?

LAURA: Yeah, let's do it.

ASHLEY: Yeah, ready?

LAURA: One, two, three.

MATT: You both can roll or one of you can roll with advantage.

LAURA: Let's both roll.

ASHLEY: Let's both roll.

MARISHA: Smooth.

ASHLEY: The way I'm rolling tonight.

LAURA: Guidance!

ASHLEY: Guidance? Oh.

LAURA: Oh, I guided you.

ASHLEY: You guided me?

SAM: Is that true?

MATT: Nope, nope.

LAURA: I guided myself, I'm sorry.

ASHLEY: No, I-- Hopefully, you guided well.

TRAVIS: That didn't help you, did it.

LAURA: Nope. 11.

ASHLEY: 13.

MATT: 13. You both, exhausted, sore from the series of battles you've suffered in climbing up from this subterranean space. It is not moving. In fact, it's more wedged now than it was when you found it. And it is, like, locked at an angle. Part of its mooring is slightly cracked and off-kilter. It's not moving.

TRAVIS: Caleb, you want to show them how it's done, you and me?

LAURA: It's--

SAM: Good idea. Come on, boys.

LIAM: Yeah, I will assist you.

TRAVIS: Yeah, Caleb, let's go.

LIAM: I will assist you.

TRAVIS: It's just that you've done so much.

LAURA: Hey, Fjord?

TRAVIS: Hmm?

ASHLEY: Give it a go. You can do it.

LAURA: Guidance.

TRAVIS: Okay.

ASHLEY: You've been doing your reps with Beau.

LIAM: Lift with the legs.

TRAVIS: Yep.

LIAM: That's my part.

TRAVIS: What, that's it?

LIAM: Here we go (grunts).

TRAVIS: We both roll.

MATT: All right. Both of you guys roll strength checks.

MARISHA: I pass Nott's flask over to Yasha, as we watch.

TRAVIS: That's good. Where the hell did my d4 go? There he is.

LIAM: Made about what you'd expect.

TRAVIS: 22!

SAM: Ooh, hoo hoo hoo!

ASHLEY: Okay!

LIAM: Dreizehn. 13.

LAURA: You did better than I did (laughs).

TRAVIS: Natural 19.

MATT: As both Caleb and Fjord get down, fingers beneath the wedge and they strain, the exhausted women who had just done it before, themselves taken, you know, a heavy brunt of this initial work.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: Veth, you are surprised to see the statuesque figure of Fjord Stone (grunts) flexing his muscles, bulging, lifting this as it creaks. (creaking) Slides into the mooring, then (chains rattling), lifts itself back up, the previous doorway closing behind.

ASHLEY: Clearly, we loosened it for you, but, you know.

LAURA: I'm saving that mental image from my sketchbook later.

SAM: That was amazing! Did you strain anything? Did anything tweak?

TRAVIS: I think I gave myself a new hernia. (laughter)

SAM: A new hernia.

TRAVIS: I got one hold and that's the bulge on the other side.

LIAM: Yeah, I just go and I give it a little (dings) pop it right in.

TRAVIS: That's good.

LIAM: Right as rain.

TRAVIS: It's warm. We should go. It's spreading.

ASHLEY: I see you've been doing your reps with Beau. You can see, stronger.

TRAVIS: The inverted sit-ups are A-plus.

ASHLEY: Ah.

MARISHA: Proud of you.

MATT: Slowly, you all return to the-- head through this chamber, heading towards the open doorway that you had originally pulled forward to expose this chamber, and you head into the cold, subterranean opening where you had first descended into this. You can see the ground still covered in a layer of rubble and shale, and ice chips.

ASHLEY: Is he in here?

SAM: Is it Iver, Ivver, Iver?

MATT: You don't see anything. And there was no light from above, by the way. Night has come.

SAM: Iver?

TALIESIN: Iver?

SAM: You around?

LIAM: A little bit of fire in my hand.

TALIESIN: Iver?

SAM: It's us, you can show yourself.

MATT: There's a slight pause. "Hello?"

TALIESIN: Hey.

MATT: "Sorry. I was hiding. So everything went well, hopefully?"

TALIESIN: Well, we didn't find what we were looking for, but we feel confident we're going to find it in the next site.

SAM: Ho, ho ho!

MATT: Make a deception check, please.

MARISHA: Has Caduceus ever had to make a deception check?

TRAVIS: The trees fucked his shit up!

MARISHA: Oh my god.

TALIESIN: Nine. (laughter)

MATT: He just stabs you-- no.

TALIESIN: Ow! (laughter)

TRAVIS: There's a reason I don't do this!

MATT: He just goes, "Huh."

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: "Very well, then. Did you have any luck coming upon my comrades?"

SAM: Oh.

LAURA: Oh, that we did find.

SAM: Just to make sure, maybe describe them? We saw some fallen bodies down there and we don't, we can't be sure they're your friends.

MATT: And you see now eyes look extremely untrusting. The combination of reading a lie out of the gate and not finding his friends. You can already see the math in his head going and he just begins to step back a little bit.

TALIESIN: Did we take anything to prove?

SAM: Oh.

LAURA: Yes.

SAM: It wasn't us. We didn't--

LAURA: We didn't-- There was a creature.

TALIESIN: The big baby.

ASHLEY: That thing that you were hearing. Remember when you got scared and you were like, "It's a scary noise"? It was very scary.

TALIESIN: It was a big baby.

LAURA: And your friends came upon it.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

SAM: Yeah. We didn't kill your friends. It was a large baby. (laughter) Believe us.

TRAVIS: It kind of looked like this. And I use a Mask of Many Faces and be like (screams).

LAURA: Do I have advantage on it because everybody else is talking to him?

MATT: No.

LAURA: Just me?

MATT: You're not getting disadvantage because everyone's talking with you, because he, right now, does not trust you at all.

LAURA: Well, I rolled a one, so. (laughter)

SAM: Shit, we're going to have to kill this guy.

ASHLEY: I--

MATT: Roll initiative. No.

ASHLEY: I'm going to pull out the bone from the baby. That's still kind of--

SAM: The what?

LAURA: Oh.

ASHLEY: I took some of the bones.

LAURA: Yeah, that's right, the back bone.

ASHLEY: This was from the thing.

SAM: The baby. That's a bone of a baby.

TALIESIN: This place is weird.

MATT: "Look just go, just get out of here."

ASHLEY: Wait, are you stuck here? Do you want to stay?

SAM: You can't stay here. You have to go.

MARISHA: They're not coming back. We found a half-elven woman corpse. It's the woman you came with, as well as a few other bodies. They're being digested in the corpse of a giant baby right now.

LAURA: Seriously, you can go down that hallway and see it.

TRAVIS: But it's dangerous. You risk--

TALIESIN: There's still some weird stuff. And it might be on fire.

LAURA: And, yeah, it might burn down soon.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: This place is fucked.

TRAVIS: You're welcome to, but we would be remiss if we didn't try and steer you towards safety.

LIAM: Here's the other thing, we know that there are other parties coming here. And it is not safe for you. Yeah. So we can see in your eyes, you're having a hard time with us, but we can offer you about as safe a harbor tonight as you're going to find on your own.

MATT: And he starts walking away and then you hear some shuffling, some movement of something heavy. A pan goes like (clanking noise). Eventually, he comes back with a pack over his shoulder and goes, "Wide berth, please." And he just starts climbing quickly. Just skittering up the rope to get away from you all. He is very much not convinced that you didn't kill his compatriots for treasure.

MARISHA: Does anyone got any ability to modify this guy's memory?

LAURA: Oh yeah. I just used all my spells, so.

MARISHA: Yeah, that's what I was afraid of.

LAURA: Yeah. If you want to, like--

MARISHA: Kill him?

LAURA: Or like tie him up or something, I can wipe his memory in the morning. I just can't do it now. Grab him. I can wipe his memory in the morning.

MARISHA: How far up is he? Can I grab him?

MATT: Right now he's about 60, 70 feet.

LIAM: Oh, that's--

TALIESIN: No, let's just--

LAURA: Grab him at the top, Beau. We'll go up.

MARISHA: I'll grab him at the top.

SAM: I will say, he's dangerous to us. He could go back to the--

MARISHA: Exactly. We need to wipe his memory before he goes anywhere.

SAM: He's a witness.

MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: We got to kill all the witnesses.

MARISHA: We will either slit his throat, or we will wipe his memory.

LAURA: Wipe his memory, grab him.

MARISHA: So let me, let me go get him. Can I go get him?

LIAM: I'm pretty sure we could subdue him successfully amongst the nine of us.

MARISHA: I'm not going to hurt him. I go.

LIAM: In such.

MATT: So you're climbing up?

MARISHA: I'm following behind him.

TALIESIN: This is what happens when we lie.

MATT: So Beauregard, you climb up to the top and there's a bit of a lip before it angles, if you recall, and then head straight up again. You get into the lip and he's on the opposite end of it, and he looks over in your direction. (slice) Cuts the rope.

SAM: Oh!

MATT: You slide out and then fall.

MARISHA: Can I grab the ledge? I'm a monk. I'm awesome.

MATT: You're a monk. It is solid ice. Go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw with disadvantage.

TALIESIN: Wait-- ah.

MARISHA: Fair.

LAURA: You were so far below.

MARISHA: That's on this.

TALIESIN: Does she still have Freedom of Movement?

MARISHA: With disad-- oh my god, that's funny.

MATT: Lasts an hour?

TALIESIN: Uh, that's a good--

MATT: I would say no.

TALIESIN: One hour, nevermind. Okay.

MATT: With all the trekking.

MARISHA: Dex saving throw?

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: Stopping for Caleb to cast.

MARISHA: Okay, I, hilariously, rolled two nines. So 19.

MATT: Mm-mm. You literally reach up and try and grab, and your hand grabs onto just smooth solid ice and just slides off.

MARISHA: Slow Fall.

MATT: Right. So you do fall and you take--

MARISHA: I'm more pissed at this guy more than anything.

MATT: He did not trust you all. He got to go first and may have overheard some of you talking about slitting his throat or taking care of him in a large chamber that echoes well. So he cut that fucking rope.

MARISHA: Yeah, that's fair.

ASHLEY: Fair enough.

MATT: 27 points of bludgeoning damage from the fall.

MARISHA: Negated.

SAM: Negated?!

LAURA: As soon as I see--

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: -- Beau start falling--

MATT: You guys are watching and all of a sudden you see the rope begin to fall and Beauregard just plummeting.

LAURA: Yeah, the minute I see that happen, I know she's safe. I'm going to use Message. And I'm going to send a message to Daygen.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: (whispering) Dagen.

LAURA: Dagen. Dagen! And I'm going to say: There's a guy coming out. Catch him. Don't let him leave. It's really important. He's dangerous.

SAM: He's going to fucking kill him.

TRAVIS: I didn't know she was doing that, but as soon as I see Beau falling, I summon the sword and you see it glow, and I'll cast Fly and just take off right up.

MARISHA: I just slam my fist into the wall, and as I'm sliding down, I go: Somebody get 'im. As I'm coming down.

MATT: Had you not used Fly today?

TRAVIS: Mm-mm.

MATT: Okay, then, yeah.

TRAVIS: No. Faerie Fire and Fly.

MARISHA: I can negate 65 fall damage, just off the top.

SAM: Damn!

MARISHA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Whoa.

LIAM: Crouching Tiger, just flying like Chow Yun-fat.

MATT: Okay. Dagen responds, "Okay, let me just make my way over there I'm a little holed up right now."

SAM: I'm going to start levitating.

MATT: Okay. You start levitating.

SAM: I will fly just like Fjord did, same pose, but way slower. (laughter)

MATT: Fjord just full-on Neo jumps. (whooshes) (slower whoosh)

LAURA: Get him, get him, get him.

MATT: (laughs) Okay.

TRAVIS: 60 feet.

MATT: Yeah. You used Superman up like (whooshing) and he's currently quickly climbing up. There is-- do you have darkvision? Yeah, if you're half orc, you do. So does he. He gets maybe about 40 feet from the lip before you catch up to him.

TRAVIS: I'll just go past.

MATT: He's like, (whimpers).

TRAVIS: Right up top.

MATT: And just scurries up as fast as he can.

TRAVIS: I'll just look over the lip and be like: That was very rude.

MATT: He gets to the top and steps onto it.

MARISHA: Yep, we're back, baby! Yeah, this feels good.

MATT: Clutches his pack in one hand and reaches to the side where he has a little shortsword and he's like, "Listen, I don't want any trouble, I don't, I--"

TRAVIS: I just put the Star Razor on the ground. I'm just spinning it. (laughter)

MATT: "Just let me go. I'm just going to go back to Balen--

TRAVIS: Let you go, as if we had any ill intentions for you, but you cut the rope on my friends. That was not the thing to do. Sit down.

MATT: Make an intimidation check.

SAM: This is how we treat allies.

MARISHA: Yeah. This feels like the good old days. I love it.

TRAVIS: 25. Plus 10 to intimidation.

SAM: He jumps to his death. (laughter)

MARISHA: We catch him. No, dude, no. Stop.

MATT: "I was just hired to do this. I have no stake in this. I am not trying to hurt anybody, but I'm not about to get killed by--"

TRAVIS: No one's going to kill you. Look, you seem to have the wrong idea. We meant what we said. Your friends were already dead. We clearly had lots of trouble down there, but I'm not going to let you leave my friends to their death and let you just run away.

MATT: There's this crunching sound behind him. And he turns and looks and you see there, just over the edge of the snow, hood up, Dagen.

LIAM: Dope.

MATT: In his combat chair, the ax out in front, just goes, "You should probably listen to the man, huh?"

ALL: Yeah! (laughter)

MATT: You see snow frost in his beard. He looks pretty good. You can see he's pretty good at camouflaging himself out here. He has a separate white cloak that he puts on and the frost that gathers around it, you can barely see him except for when he adjusted himself.

TRAVIS: Believe me, I really don't want to arrange a meeting between you and Sheila, but I will. Just sit. Sit.

MATT: He sits in the yellow snow that has gathered around him.

MARISHA: Aww.

ASHLEY: Oh.

LAURA: Buddy.

MATT: (laughs)

SAM: I crest the top and land and say: That was a mistake. (laughter)

SAM: You cut the rope on my friends. And I am not going to let that-- Seems like I'm--

TRAVIS: Veth, we-- that was inspired. Already-- It was pitch perfect.

SAM: We take care of it already?

TRAVIS: Yep.

SAM: (sighs) Okay. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Now in all of that package you have, I don't suppose you have any, I don't know, additional rope, do you?

MATT: (as Iver) "No."

TRAVIS: No. Right. Did we grab the rope as we were fleeing the smoking chimney that we created?

LAURA: Sure.

LIAM: I think we would have.

TALIESIN: We pulled it.

MATT: Yeah. You were pulling to help with the rope, yeah.

LIAM: Yes.

TRAVIS: Oh, good. Who has that?

ASHLEY: I do!

SAM: Not either of us.

TRAVIS: Okay. My friends are going to watch you so that we can all make our way out of here safely. I'll be back. I just jump off the edge and float back down using Fly. I'll grab the rope, fly back up, and our friends will start to make our way back up.

LAURA: ♪ Making my way back up ♪

TALIESIN: ♪ Making my way back up ♪

MATT: Slowly, you all get back to the top, and it is pitch black out here and it is freezing cold. The wind is starting to pick up. And while there isn't any snowfall at the moment, Dagen, as he starts to notice you all approaching, goes, "I think there's a storm coming. Probably some heavy sleet. Let's try and find ourselves someplace to shelter up."

TALIESIN: We're not going to have--

LIAM: Caleb's still halfway down the rope. (wheezing) Oh gods.

TALIESIN: We're not going to have the good--

LAURA: I help him, I'm pulling the rope.

LIAM: Oh gods.

MATT: "We're not doing the tower thing?"

SAM: We can't.

LAURA: We used a lot of energy.

SAM: We're at a magical deficit, but we could make some-- well, I think the dome keeps us warm, right?

LAURA: Yeah, yeah.

SAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll be okay. We have alternate accommodations. We should get away from the mouth of this thing, though.

TALIESIN: We should move as far away from this--

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: It's really high.

LAURA: Where were you holed up before, Dagen?

MATT: Points over and you can see a little ways away, there's a small bit of a snowbank that he had carved out, and it looks like it may have been utilized to form a snowbank where he can keep his eyes peeled and glance over towards the entrance where you guys were.

LAURA: Was it-- Maybe we should be a little farther away. Let's keep going.

TRAVIS: Unless we can change the appearance to be white, like snow.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MARISHA: Even if we can get an hour away from here.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: As far as we can go.

TRAVIS: Iver, aren't you glad you decided to stick with friends? Look at these conditions.

MATT: "But where are you all going?"

TRAVIS: Somewhere safe.

MATT: "Balenpost?"

LAURA: Eventually.

MATT: "Can I just make my way towards Balenpost?"

TRAVIS: I don't think so.

LAURA: You can, totally. Yes. You know what? Let's just hole up together tonight. We want you to be safe and then you can go wherever you need to go.

TRAVIS: That's what I meant.

TALIESIN: This on me. I'm just a bad liar, I'm so sorry. I'm not good at it.

MATT: "You're a very strange group of people."

TALIESIN: I know.

LAURA: Let's get an hour away. Let's get an hour away.

SAM: Just throwing this out there. What's to say that they aren't watching us right now and will know where we camp for the night? Just throwing it out there.

LAURA: Because when you're scrying on somebody, when you're you're looking at them, you don't see everything around them. You just see them. So if we're in the middle of nothing in the middle of snow, we won't--

SAM: So we should find a place with no immediate landmarks. Okay, cool, cool, cool.

LIAM: But still post watch.

LAURA: Sure, of course.

TRAVIS: Much agreed. Yeah. Anything that comes on the horizon or close, yes.

MATT: Okay. Dagen gathers his things. All right. Well, point in a direction, and I guess I'll take you the fastest route I can muster.

LIAM: Well, ja, Dagen, find us the most nondescript spot you can out here.

MATT: "Nondescript. Plenty of that going around, don't worry." And he pulls his lever on the side and you watch as the heavy metallic sled front clicks up into place. Pulls his hood up, thicker to keep heat in, brushes some of the ice from his beard. "All right, get ready." Throws his scarf around the front of his mouth to keep that bundled up and warm, and he begins to push forward as the little pointed hook parts in the outside of the wheel begin to pull him forward through the heavy snow and ice, and as you all follow behind. Who is watching your new friend Iver? Okay. Okay. You guys trudge on for the next hour or so, following the path of your guide.

LAURA: I'm assuming we've tied his hands too and his--

TRAVIS: No, no, no, he's free. And I'm going to pull out one of the cloaks from the Bag of Holding and just offer it in case he's cold.

MATT: He takes it and bundles up even further. "So what are you doing out here, then? You're just treasure hunters?"

TALIESIN: Oh, it's complicated.

TRAVIS: We're on a bit of a secretive state business. We'd love to share, but I think it's safer for you--

LAURA: It's of dire importance. We're saving the world!

MATT: "Fine, keep your secrets. It's fine." And just keeps walking alongside you quietly after that. As you guys continue on, there's a certain point, Jester, you hear a familiar voice in your ear say, (as Artagan) "Can I just trip him, just once?"

LAURA: Well, yeah, obviously.

MATT: You here "Ah!" (grunts) Glance over and it's this face full of-- like a pie to the face of snow.

TRAVIS: You all right? Let us help you up.

LAURA: Oh, are you okay?

MATT: "I saw--"

TRAVIS: What happened? In the middle of snow, what did you trip on?

MATT: He looks back. "I don't, I thought I saw--" He keeps walking. Voice creeps back into your ear and goes, "Thank you. I needed that."

LAURA: I did, too.

TRAVIS: Got to get a fix.

MATT: At the end of the hour, the temperature continues to plummet. And you all find comfort in Dagen pulling you over towards this stone archway. It's like there are elements of rock that have built up to create this natural arch about, maybe 10 feet off the ground, 15, 20 across, and he goes, "I mean, this is so it's not terribly nondescript. You know, either we're camping out in the middle of an open snow field, or we're hoping to use some of the environment, to give us a little bit of shelter. Since we're not using your fancy wizard tower, this is our best bet to make something that could house all of us."

SAM: Well, we won't need that, right?

LIAM: I can help us out a little bit I have a bit of a halfway measure.

TALIESIN: It's going to be tight.

LAURA: Yeah. We'll be cozy.

SAM: I don't think we need to use this.

TALIESIN: We should do both.

SAM: Both? Okay.

LIAM: I think so.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: There've got to be a lot of ridges and mountainsides here.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: All right. We'll make camp.

MATT: "All right. Follow me, Wizard Boy." He goes and takes you around the side and finds on the opposite side of this, it's leaning over to the edge and there's a bit of a lip at the top, which does offer a little bit of protection. Which is good. It does cut the wind off from this area, too. The wind has been heavily blowing from east to west and in your face. And once you get to this side it's a little bit to the left of where you arrived and you're able to block off most of the heavy wind from hitting you, setting up where Dagen has you guys situated.

LIAM: Okay, so I'll take 10 minutes to throw up the dome. Here, Iver, have a seat.

MATT: He sits down.

LIAM: No one is more surprised than me, but I'm going to be the good cop tonight here. Take this glass jar, eat one of those little balls in there that will fill you up for the night. Have a cat. Frumpkin appears in his lap and just starts turning circles, nestles down into his criss-cross applesauce lap, and just starts to purr as loud as possible. Have a cat. It will make you feel better.

LAURA: I'm going to cast Charm Person on him as well.

MATT: Okay. Yeah, he does not resist.

LAURA: I'm just going to try to charm the pants off him and make him feel like he's the safest that he's ever been in his whole life. You know, don't worry. Everything's okay. You know, you're probably pretty exhausted after everything. You should just go to sleep. We'll talk about everything in the morning.

MATT: "No, you're right. I apologize for getting off the wrong foot. I just, you know. Have you been up this far north before?"

LAURA: Never.

MATT: "There's a lot of, well, throat cutting, a lot of competition for relics and being the first to delve the deepest as people continue to explore further into these places."

LAURA: And some people are crazy.

MATT: "I just, you know, I was not one to trust when you arrived, but when you returned, there was, I don't know, such an air of deceit about you that I assume the worst. So that is on me. I apologize."

LIAM: We have learned to take up a harsh exterior to better deal with unsavory types ourselves.

MATT: "And this, I understand." (laughter)

MARISHA: And Caduceus never lied again.

MATT: "How does a cat live so comfortably in such a cold environment?"

LIAM: Well, he is not just an ordinary cat. He is special. King of cats.

LAURA: He's a cat prince, if you will.

MATT: "Is he a king or a prince?"

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: "Yeah? That's confusing."

TRAVIS: Yes.

MATT: "Well, thank you, Cat King Prince." (laughter)

LIAM: Frumpkin just rolls over with his belly exposed, and the arms go out like that.

MATT: "Oh ho ho ho!" And he scratches on his stomach.

ASHLEY: Do you spend a lot of time out here?

LIAM: Dome's already built.

LAURA: Oh, dome's already built. We're warming up. Everything's great.

ASHLEY: Yeah. Oh, yeah?

MATT: "This far out, not too much. Usually, just to these particular sites." He looks over towards Dagen and Dagen says, "I'm familiar. We both do a similar work. Though you've only been here a few months. Isn't that right, little one?" (as Iver) "Well, yes, but we all need income. Right? I'm not as good as he is."

ASHLEY: It's okay. You're learning.

MATT: And Dagen goes, "Well, yeah, I kept my employers alive for one thing."

TRAVIS: Ooh, ooh.

MATT: Just gets quiet at that point. (laughter) But, eventually, if you guys need to bed down for the evening.

TRAVIS: It'll be a long night; I'll take the first watch. Yep?

MATT: You put the dome up?

LIAM: Yeah. I'm sorry. I thought I made that clear. Yeah.

MATT: Well, the dome lasts for eight hours, and you need an eight-hour rest period. So the domes should be put up right when you're ready to sleep.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Well, we're not going to do a lot of talking here right now.

LAURA: No.

LIAM: So... I've been petting Iver's back to help him go to sleep as fast as possible.

MATT: He's like, "What are you-- oh, okay."

TRAVIS: He's not Ronin.

LAURA: Go to sleep, go to sleep. I'm charming him, too. Don't worry. ♪ Go to sleep, little Iver. ♪

MATT: It's so weird.

LAURA: ♪ Go to sleep-- ♪

TRAVIS: He's just crying.

LAURA: ♪ --while we're sleeping ♪

TRAVIS: He's like, "She's going to kill me."

MATT: If he wasn't charmed, he probably would be. (laughter)

MATT: He's just waiting for the (shushing).

LIAM: Frumpkin is right here just going (cat purring).

LAURA: Yeah. I just want him to sleep through the night.

MATT: Okay. Yeah. He conks out. He's exhausted, physically and emotionally. But the rest of you find your space in here. And when the dome itself appears and-- what was the coloration you're going for now?

LIAM: Oh, white.

MATT: White, okay. As you're all settling up, Dagen leans over to you and goes, "I don't mean to question your capabilities, but this doesn't look like it's hiding much."

LIAM: You don't think it's going to hide us? Well, from the outside it looks like the snow about us.

MATT: "Oh, oh, oh. I take that back."

LIAM: And here it's see-through from the inside.

MATT: "Gotcha."

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: "Oh, you wizard types are weird."

LIAM: I'll get us back into the tower tomorrow night.

MATT: "Please. It's a nice place. I like what you've put together there."

LIAM: Do you have any requests or adjustments to your room or within reason to the rest of the tower? Within reason.

MATT: "Let me think on that."

LIAM: Okay.

MARISHA: Oh no.

MATT: "I got some ideas (laughs)."

MARISHA: That's so good.

MATT: But if you guys want to prepare yourselves--

SAM: Just before we sleep, I'm going to mosey over to Beau. (whispered) Hey! Beau.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah.

SAM: Listen, I've noticed that you have been spending some time talking to Yasha a bit more?

MARISHA: Yeah, what's it to you?

SAM: Well, wonder if you could help me. She and I are going to have sort of a hangout tomorrow night and I wondered if you could tell me what she likes to do or what I should do for her. It's just sort of a one-on-one thing that we're going to do. And I thought it'd be nice to do something nice for her. You know?

MARISHA: She agreed to this?

SAM: Yeah. She's all down for it.

MARISHA: Or did you, like, invite yourself and force it upon her without any other--?

SAM: I'm trying to remember. No, I think she invited me, actually.

MARISHA: (suspicious humming)

SAM: But we're definitely getting together tomorrow and I just wanted to do something really nice for her.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm. (laughter)

SAM: What do you think I should do? Like a food thing or a drink thing or a flower thing?

MARISHA: What-- why don't you start? Why don't you tell me what you have in mind? And then maybe I can critique from there.

SAM: I don't really know her as well as you, but I just, you know, she's been through a lot.

MARISHA: Yeah, hang on let me sit up a little bit because it feels like it's going to be a conversation. Yeah.

SAM: I just-- I just want her to-- I sometimes I feel like she doesn't feel like she's part of the family, you know, and--

MARISHA: Sure, sure. Yeah.

SAM: I'm thinking really sweet.

MARISHA: I mean, you could almost say the same thing about Caduceus though too, you know, I've been trying to like, make sure he feels included.

SAM: That's a great idea. Why don't you do something with him tomorrow night? Make him feel welcome. It's a great idea.

MARISHA: You know. (laughter)

MARISHA: Maybe we could circle back around and have a family night at a later time.

SAM: That's a good idea.

MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: So tomorrow just me and Yasha and then later we'll do a big family--

MARISHA: No, no. No.

SAM: Good night, Beau. (laughter)

MARISHA: Good night, Veth. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Oh my god. "Well, good night, then." (laughter)

ASHLEY: "No."

MATT: "No." "Good night." (laughter) Perfect. All right, who's taking first watch?

TRAVIS: I am. Fjord.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: I'll stay up, too.

MATT: Okay, so you're both taking first watch? Who's taking second watch?

LIAM: I'll stay up for second.

MATT: All right.

MATT: And who's taking third watch?

TALIESIN: I'll take third.

MATT: You got it. Okay, so first watch, everyone else is all bundled up in the dome, and it is a very tight camping situation, especially with two additional allies in this space. It's pretty clustered and tetrised, but you all managed to get yourself in there. Occasionally, someone will shift, and a hand will go out of the dome into the freezing cold and be like, "Oh, that's a bad idea, bad idea," (chuckling)

MATT: But it's comfortable enough. Both of you stay up and keep your eyes peeled.

LAURA: I'm leaning my head on Fjord's shoulder.

MATT: Aww. Okay. Do you want to both make perception checks for me, please? Or one of you will do the--

TRAVIS: I will give her advantage.

LAURA: Oh, really?

TRAVIS: I think so.

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: I only have plus three.

LAURA: Okay, mine's a little bit better. Perception?

MATT: Perception with advantage.

LAURA: Woo, woo, woo, woo! 24!

MATT: Nice, nice, not too bad. You both continue, enjoying the quiet proximity to each other, keeping eyes out amongst the dark freezing cold of which now the storm has blown in and you can see there is an ice fall. You can see smashing stones of hail, impacting and breaking against the dome above. And this faint pitter-patter. (pattering) And it's now this droning sound. You're all exhausted, and it doesn't wake any of you up, but it's weirdly comfortable. It's a lulling drone after a time, yeah, but it does begin to coat the outside of the dome and the ice begins to freeze up, and it's starting to obscure visual outside of the dome slightly.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: As is the nature of the storm. You're protected, but the ice fall is starting to coat the exterior.

TRAVIS: Might need to tell the others to step outside to take a peek every once in a while.

LAURA: Yeah. I'm not doing it.

TRAVIS: No, no, that's why you take first watch.

LAURA: Oh, yeah. That's a good idea. While we're waiting, towards the end of the first watch, can I pull out the tarot cards?

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: And I'm going to stare at the blank cards for a little bit, and then I want to make a card with Caduceus on it, I want to make a card with Caduceus on it, and I'm going to put Caduceus in the middle. And then at the bottom, at the bottom of the card, I'm going to put beautiful trees, like a forest that surrounds him growing, and then on the other side, I'm going to put the trees of the Savalirwood I'm going to put the trees of the Savalirwood and the trees that we saw underneath that are white and rotten and full of hatred. that are white and rotten and full of hatred. And then I'm going to write at the bottom "Growth," and on the inverse I'm going to call it "Rot."

MATT: Hmm, okay.

MARISHA: That's dope.

LAURA: That was fucked up in there.

TRAVIS: Yes, it was.

LAURA: I hope we can help Caduceus make everything better at his home, too.

TRAVIS: If he's ready to go back.

LAURA: Eventually.

MATT: Okay. You finish your watch, uneventful. You go to rest, waking Caleb for the second watch. Caleb, if you can make a perception check for me, please.

TRAVIS: I will tell them to go outside if you want to look.

LIAM: Hmm?

TRAVIS: Oh, go outside if you want to look. It's sort of covered the dome.

MATT: As you do wake up, it does look like the interior of an igloo. It is just a solid white snow.

LIAM: Top as well?

MATT: Top as well, yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah, just sort of covered in the night. Super bummer about that.

LIAM: Before they fall asleep, I just stick my arm only out through the top to see if I feel cold air or snow.

MATT: Freezing cold, you do feel air, but it's about six or seven inches before you get to it.

TRAVIS: Whew.

MATT: And when your hand comes out, you can feel the snow fall on your hand. It's not a blizzard, but it is a snowstorm coming through.

LIAM: Okay, I grab Frumpkin by the scruff, and then I put him under the butt, and I go, (blows heavily).

MATT: Out the top?

TRAVIS: Oh right, he can't leave.

LAURA: Mm-mm.

TRAVIS: Right, fuck.

LIAM: And just look around to see if there's anything bad.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: In Frumpkin's eyes. Make a perception check with disadvantage, because he doesn't have darkvision.

LIAM: Oh, that'll be terrible. Nine, probably, nine.

MATT: You feel pretty confident there's no problems.

LIAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: (laughs) What a shitty way to say that.

LIAM: Okay, he's never failed us before, so I think-- (laughter) All right, good night, get some sleep.

LAURA: Good night.

LIAM: Do you think that you would snuggle?

LAURA: I'd be leaning against him.

LIAM: Lean against him?

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Okay. So then I would just sit down and take Frumpkin into Caleb's lap, and once they dozed off, silently, just a little recognition. And I scoop Frumpkin up onto my shoulders like a scarf, and just look out through the hole at the top, and wait and pass my time.

MATT: Okay. You finish your watch, and completing that, you wake up Caduceus to take final watch.

LIAM: Big guy. It's cold.

TALIESIN: All right. Actually, will you lift my cat as high as you can up through the dome?

TALIESIN: All right, miss me. No, that's fine.

MARISHA: (chuckles)

LIAM: I hold his arm and look around like it's a submarine periscope.

MARISHA: Submarine cat, yeah, perfect. (chuckling)

LIAM: Turn your arm around a bit.

TALIESIN: Oh, yeah.

MARISHA: A catascope.

ASHLEY: (chuckles)

LIAM: Yeah. At disadvantage. Woo, 14.

MATT: Okay, at the end of your watch, as you're transitioning over, you don't see anything that catches your attention, yeah.

LIAM: All right, thank you. (exhales heavily)

MATT: Okay. With Caleb going to sleep, the rest of the interior of this is quiet, except for the occasional bout of snoring from, well, probably a combination of Dagen and Yasha. The cold weather has been rough on your nostrils up here. But in order to take a watch, you'd have to push through some of the snow.

TALIESIN: Well, here's a question, how tall is the dome?

SAM: 20 feet, right? Because in a 20-foot radius?

LIAM: It's wide, but it's not super high.

SAM: It's not a circle?

MARISHA: I want this to be real, just-- Yeah. Those cupcakes that you can get?

LAURA: I don't think it's a 20-foot radius.

LIAM: 10-foot radius.

SAM: It's a 10-foot radius, so it's a 10 foot...

MATT: It is, yeah.

LAURA: Snuggled in.

MATT: 10-foot tall, yeah.

TALIESIN: So I'm just going to take a step forward until my head just peeks out of it.

MATT: Okay, so you step forward.

TALIESIN: If I get cold, I just lean back.

MATT: You just go face first into a pillow of snow.

TALIESIN: (blows raspberry)

MATT: It is freezing cold in your face, immediately going numb, trying to brush it out of your face, and it tumbles down, and some of the snow above the dome, as you push through slides down and begins to bury over the top a bit, until eventually you push it all off of you, push it, you eventually carve through and you look like a person whose face hit a cake. You're just like all over. Eventually you look out into the darkness around you. You do not have darkvision.

TALIESIN: No.

MATT: So make a perception check at disadvantage, please.

TALIESIN: And I'm actually going to give myself, just going to be hitting myself with some extra mojo. Oh, terrible for me, 14.

MATT: 14, okay. It's hard to see, with both the heavier snowfall, the cold temperature, the wind blowing, and the lack of any light source in the vicinity, glancing about. Don't see anything.

TALIESIN: Suppose the closer the sun gets to us, the more I'll be able to see stuff.

MATT: Probably, yeah. So, about six hours into this keeping your eyes out, the light begins to shift ever so slightly since you guys did get a late start before resting into the evening, and it is an eight hours of full rest are needed before you can complete your rest and get the benefits of it. About six hours into it, the sun begins to rise, and a little bit of light begins to come through. It seems that the snowfall has lessened. The heaviness of the night storm has passed over, and it's more of just a gentle flutter, but it still left a soft powder around. You push through and glance through the snow, and it's, you know, that beautiful early sunrise coloration begins to carve through, the gray sky breaks a bit, and you can see that orangish golden hue that's rimmed with red just breaking over the distant mountains. And take a deep cold breath of morning air, and glance about, and glance over there, and you see, sitting in the snow across the way, a purple-skinned figure with horns sitting there looks like he's taking the dirt out from under his fingernails and his heavy furred cloak. And looks up.

TALIESIN: Damn it.

MATT: "Ah! I was wondering when you'd awaken."

TALIESIN: I've been awake.

MATT: "Well."

TALIESIN: I just was-- I was busy. This is nice.

MATT: Snaps his fingers and you see shifting around, a few other figures that have been settled around this dome.

SAM: Is the dome still-- The dome's still up?

MATT: The dome's still up, yeah.

SAM: It's just his watch now?

MATT: It's just him poking his head out of it right now. Part of his watch.

SAM: Oh god.

TALIESIN: It's a nice sunrise.

MATT: "I agree. We'll take a moment and appreciate it together."

TALIESIN: Eh, give me a minute. I sit down.

LAURA: (chuckles)

TALIESIN: Hey, we got a problem.

LAURA: Does this mean we don't get a long rest if we've--

MATT: You have not completed a long rest.

SAM: Oh, shit!

LIAM: (groans)

TRAVIS: We got a short rest though, right?

MARISHA: Shit.

MATT: I'll say yeah.

TRAVIS: Okay.

TALIESIN: Oh, yeah.

LAURA: I hit my long rest button.

MARISHA: I did, too.

SAM: I did, too. I think I can undo it.

MARISHA: But I remember--

SAM: I mean, I think I remember. I know what I had and used.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: (sighs)

LIAM: Damn it.

MARISHA: Son of a bitch. I was at 80 hit points.

TALIESIN: All right, I'm going to stand back up.

MATT: As you peek out, you can see now Lucien's leaning against the dome. Most of the snow's been kicked off, and is to your side where your head pokes through and he's looking over at the sunrise and smiling.

TALIESIN: I needed that.

MATT: "Occasionally you get a good pretty one. Not always, but right now it's worth appreciating."

TALIESIN: Yeah, it was a rough day yesterday.

MATT: "This whole landscape is made of rough days."

TALIESIN: It's got its moments. How was your day yesterday?

MATT: "Exhausted. Not a lot of sleep, you know, when you're trying to catch up to some folks that--"

TALIESIN: (chuckles)

MATT: "-- seem to be overachievers."

TALIESIN: Well, they're industrious.

MATT: "(chuckles)"

TALIESIN: We've never technically met before, really, by the way. I don't know if you know that.

MATT: "I don't think I've technically met most of you, just the blue one."

TALIESIN: Well, I don't have any previous experience with anybody who looks like you, I suppose would be how I'd put it.

MATT: "Oh, right, right, yeah, the weird period. Don't worry about it."

TALIESIN: It occupies a lot of the thoughts of my friends, but not me. For the record. So did you go down there?

MATT: "Didn't have to. Apparently, you all found what we were looking for, and went rushing off. So twice now we've changed our trajectory, trying to keep up with you."

TALIESIN: (chuckles) Really, where were you headed?

MATT: "Same place, originally."

TALIESIN: Oh, you just had a-- there was a lot of discussion about that, so.

MATT: "Yeah. Not going to lie, kind of impressed."

TALIESIN: Thank you. That means something.

MATT: "We've all not really had much of a meal, not slept."

TALIESIN: No.

MATT: "I think it's time for a discussion, if you don't mind getting the rest of your friends up there."

TALIESIN: Oh, they're getting up.

MATT: "Good, good."

TALIESIN: You know, no sense making a thing of it.

MATT: "What's your deal?"

TALIESIN: You know, I had an answer to that a couple days ago. I don't know anymore. I got some ideas, but I'm not sure. Does that make sense?

MATT: "Ambition but no direction?"

TALIESIN: Ambition's a big word. I suppose direction, but confused ambition. No, not even ambition, that's weird.

MATT: "'Confused ambition.' Would you call that curiosity?"

TALIESIN: I'm trying to figure out what kind of fruit I'm supposed to grow, if that makes sense.

MATT: "Strange analogy."

TALIESIN: Well, I'm supposed to-- I think I'm supposed to do something for this world, and I'm just not entirely sure what it's supposed to be.

MATT: "Maybe our paths aren't too far off anyway."

TALIESIN: Huh. People are people.

MATT: "Hmm."

TALIESIN: (grunts)

MATT: "At the very least--"

TALIESIN: If you want, yeah, soon as you guys are ready, we should eat.

SAM: Hey, if we just keep resting--

TRAVIS: (laughs) Keep sleeping?

SAM: I mean, I know it'll be hard, but could you meditate? And some of us can stay up. I don't mind staying up and talking strategy and stuff, but if you guys, magic-y people want to meditate and rest, it's okay with me.

TRAVIS: I'm okay to stay.

MARISHA: Your dome is about to go, right? I don't mind staying up.

MATT: You have two more hours of the dome.

TALIESIN: That's a long to wait.

TRAVIS: Unless he dispels it or does something else.

LAURA: Well.

TRAVIS: Impatiently.

MARISHA: Well, what is he going to do if he can't get in the dome, right? So why not?

TRAVIS: Can he?

LAURA: Why not just say--

TRAVIS: Can he?

MARISHA: Unless--

LIAM: We don't know, but--

TALIESIN: He got all those damn eyes. What if one of them flashes, and it's like-- (crumbling)?

MARISHA: You're right, yeah.

LAURA: But we can try.

TRAVIS: We can try. I only needed a short rest; I can stay up.

MARISHA: Yeah, I can be okay with a short rest.

SAM: We can strategize while you meditate.

LAURA: Here's the thing: they can hear you guys. The dome is not soundproof.

SAM: We'll speak in Thieves' Can't.

TRAVIS: I thought it was.

LAURA: Nope.

MATT: Its not soundproof. There is a layer of snow around most of it, except for where Caduceus and Lucien have created--

MARISHA: I do know Halfling.

MATT: -- created Taliesin angels in the snow, I guess we'd call them.

MARISHA: Oh, you know Halfling? You're a halfling.

LIAM: She is a halfling.

MARISHA: Yeah, okay, okay.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I mean I can stay up, too.

TRAVIS: And they're just sitting on the literal outside of the dome, like outside of a tent.

TALIESIN: I'm standing in it.

MATT: Yeah, they're just waiting.

TALIESIN: Leaning.

MARISHA: I look at Veth and I say in Halfling--

TRAVIS: Keep sleeping.

LAURA: I'm going to keep sleeping.

MARISHA: Do you think he understands Halfling?

SAM: I don't know if he understands Halfling.

MARISHA: (laughs) What if-- we could test it. I'll tell you a joke or something in Halfling.

MARISHA: Okay.

SAM: If he laughs--

MARISHA: Then we know?

SAM: Then we know.

MARISHA: What if it's just a shitty joke and he doesn't laugh?

SAM: Oh, it's going to be a shitty joke. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Digging deep into something.

ASHLEY: You have jokes written down?

SAM: I do. (laughs)

MATT: Of course you do.

SAM: For my Hideous Laughter spell.

MARISHA: (laughs)

SAM: I have one that I wrote down maybe six months ago. Okay, ready? In Halfling, I'll say: What did Captain Tusktooth say when he forgot how to captain the ship?

MARISHA: I don't know, what did he say?

SAM: Long time, no sea.

MARISHA: (laughs loudly)

MATT: You don't hear any reaction. (laughter)

TRAVIS: For one reason or the other.

MATT: Though you do hear a mild groan from a voice you don't recognize on the other side of the outside of the dome.

SAM: One of them speaks Halfling!

MARISHA: One of them speaks Halfling.

SAM: Successful test.

MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay. (laughter)

MARISHA: That's right, because doesn't he have a halfling? One of them is a halfling.

SAM: Oh, shit. I should've known that. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Does anybody want me to say anything, or am I just-- I dipped, just going to go out. All right, I'm just going to go out.

MARISHA: You need to keep resting.

LAURA: Don't--!

TALIESIN: I've been up for--

MARISHA: But do you need your other rest? Like, your other two hours?

TALIESIN: Technically speaking, I would have hit my point, because I was taking the last shift anyway. So would I have hit my--? I know it's very--

MATT: It's a bit fiddly because the idea is it's eight hours of rest. Two hours of it can be spent on watch, but it's still an eight hour period of rest.

TALIESIN: So I can't do anything for another two hours, as long as I just, like, chill.

MATT: You can do things, you just don't regain all the spells that you would have.

TALIESIN: Yeah, unless, yeah, so.

MARISHA: Unless you chill.

TALIESIN: I mean, it'd be weird if I weren't out there.

LAURA: I wouldn't go out there.

MARISHA: We just want to wait, just wait it out. What are they going to do? They could do a million things, like Fjord said, but I don't know.

ASHLEY: Yeah, we could just try to sleep, and then if they (snaps fingers) then we're out there with them.

MARISHA: I'll stay up, I'm good.

TALIESIN: You want to let them know, or? I'll let them know.

MARISHA: I mean, sure. I don't think he's going to go for it.

TALIESIN: No. I guess we can just, yeah, it just feels rude, I don't know.

MARISHA: Rude?!

SAM: (laughs)

TALIESIN: I dipped my toe into the world of deceit and ill intention and it did not turn out well. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I knew I would pick up some bad habits with you all, but this feels like a step too far. I feel like I've wandered too far off the path.

MARISHA: Well, we've picked up plenty of good habits from you, so it balances out, yeah.

TALIESIN: It's give and take, but--

MATT: (deep voice) "Hey, Nonagon, they awake or what?" You hear another voice coming through, it's like, (as Lucien) "They're rousing, they're rousing. Be patient, eat your jerky. Don't want any untoward behavior unearned yet, Zoran."

SAM: Zoran, did we know that name?

LAURA: Yeah, there's one named Zoran.

SAM: Oh, that's the goliath, maybe?

LAURA: There's--

SAM: I only have "Lucien, Cree."

MARISHA: I shuffle to the edge of the dome, pop my head out.

LAURA: Tyffial, Cree, Zoran, Otis. And Lucien.

MARISHA: Lucien. Hi, good morning.

TRAVIS: Oh shit, we're going.

MATT: "Morning."

MARISHA: If you could just give us a little bit of time, we're going to brush our teeth, maybe brew some tea.

MATT: Okay, turns around, looks towards you, goes, "Oh, I'm sorry, you all resting? You have a nice night's sleep?"

MARISHA: Yeah, I mean, we would like to continue our rest, unless you're in some sort of astronomical hurry.

MATT: "Of course, of course, we're happy to wait here for a bit. I figure, you know, we've only trudged through a night in the dark, trying to catch up to and your group for grabbing the thing that we were after."

MARISHA: Grabbing the thing you were after.

MATT: "Well, you all got extremely, how do I put it, eager to not walk the path I left for you, instead cut us off at the pass. And you know what, I appreciate initiative. But unfortunately I can't say that we're really in a mood for waiting that much longer, so..." And you watch as the eye on the chest flares bright for a second and the dome

MATT: (puffs heavily)

SAM: Fuck!

MATT: -- vanishes.

SAM: He fucking did the thing!

MATT: All the snow falls on top of all of you. (groaning)

SAM: It was Iver. He did it! It was his idea!

MATT: Iver's like, "What?! Who are you, what's going on? Who are these people?"

TALIESIN: I tried to tell them.

MARISHA: Well, Lucien, from my memory or at least where I come from, invitations are suggested. You can take them or you can leave them. So while we did not follow along the path--

LIAM: We're covered in snow. We're waking up.

MARISHA: -- that you laid out for us.

TALIESIN: (grunts)

SAM: (quietly) We'll stall for two more hours.

MARISHA: Seems like it's a free tundra, right? I didn't know, and you made no claim of... this crest, so I'm not entirely sure what you're so upset about.

MATT: "I'm not upset. Do I appear upset?"

MARISHA: Yeah, you do, considering you and your men have surrounded our campsite in the middle of the night after trekking through the long dark night. To me, that feels like someone who's pretty upset.

MATT: You see a vein bulge in the side of the head for a second, and one of the hands closes before he takes a breath. (inhales heavily)

MARISHA: Yeah, see that?

MATT: "Well."

MARISHA: That vein, yeah.

MATT: "So my question would be, what purpose did you have in acquiring this? Did you acquire it for us?"

MARISHA: Maybe we did.

MATT: "Well, then that would be a gracious blessing upon us all, doing us a great favor, and for that, we would be very thankful."

MARISHA: We were kind of hoping it would be a surprise when we met you at Aeor, but I guess we could talk about it now.

ASHLEY: Or you could let us sleep for two hours, and then we could give it. (laughter) It's fine.

MATT: "Let's have a conversation, and when that's done, you're welcome to continue sleeping, having your breakfast. You can go about your merry way. Or if the hooks are in you, there are more answers where you walk. But nevertheless, you took something. Where would it be?"

MARISHA: (chuckles)

SAM: (exhales) I-- What makes you think that we're going to disclose that information?

MATT: "Well, you said you got it possibly as a favor for us. I think this is a fantastic chance to show that you are indeed a friend. Someone whose been wanting to learn, someone whose been wanting to see what most eyes are not capable of seeing."

MARISHA: Oh, Lucien, we've seen a lot. I wouldn't underestimate how much we've seen.

MATT: "I can guarantee there're some things you've never seen, dear." He says, and as he says that, all the other voices finish the sentence with him.

LIAM: Just got to stall him another hour and 55 minutes. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Plus it feels like--

LAURA: This snow blanket is so comfy.

TRAVIS: There's so much room to cover. I mean, aren't there, what five, six of these excavation sites? Have you visited everything and gotten everything you need?

MATT: "We're on the cusp. A brief journey. And I think it's quite fortuitous that our paths have converged in this way, as you've helped us now on two occasions."

TRAVIS: We just figured you were going east. We heard of locations that were further northeast from that site where we first met you, and we just figured we'd converge in the middle at some point. Have you collected everything that you need from those locations?

MATT: "So far, at least the things that we need from the outside. Everything else lies within the actual ruin itself."

MARISHA: Did you not continue your... Nope, never mind. Taking back what I said, nope. (chuckles)

TRAVIS: Did you say that out loud?

MARISHA: Nope, that was Marisha saying. Beau did not speak. (laughter)

LIAM: Smooth criminal.

ASHLEY: What's weird is though, I--I--I don't understand, um, why we need to give this to you.

LIAM: (quietly) No, just two more hours.

ASHLEY: You know-- (chuckles) Two more, two more hours.

MARISHA: I know I am, but what are you?

LAURA: (chuckles)

ASHLEY: You know, because it seems like finders keepers out here in Eiselcross. No?

MATT: "Perhaps. You're right, you found that, and now we found you. So the law would say under these conditions, that perhaps you're ours for the taking. Wouldn't that be right?"

MARISHA: Yeah, you could pick a fight if you really wanted to, but--

MATT: "I'm not here to pick a fight. I'm here to ask--

MARISHA: Really?

MATT: "-- for something that I was after. And I'm giving you the opportunity to be a friend and help us."

SAM: It's true that we haven't... You haven't shown any aggression to us and we haven't shown any aggression to you so far. So it's probably best if we keep it that way. You have concealed some things from us. We asked you lots of questions last time we met, and some were not answered.

MATT: "Well, you hadn't yet proven that you were on the up and up. As you can imagine, there are a lot of people here who would be curious about what we're doing, and would be eager to put a knife in our back. So I assumed if you were indeed curious, if you were wanting to learn more about... the Eyes of Nine, then you'd follow. I was surprised that you seem to have a bit more gumption and get up and go than we were expecting."

TALIESIN: Well, I feel like we wanted some insurance.

SAM: Yeah, yeah, exactly. I mean, we are curious, you're right, but we're also-- we have some experience, and we know that curiosity doesn't really get you anywhere on its own, so now we are curious and we have a little bit of leverage, and so I think we're okay with a conversation, as long as some information is shared on your end, we'll share some on our end and we'll see where we get.

MATT: He pulls this black, jet black metal scimitar out of the sheath in the side and plants it in the snow in front, and leans on it, arms crossed, hands in front of the chin, resting on the tip looking forward towards you, goes, "Leverage, well that makes this a negotiation. You know what I want, what we want. What do you want?"

TRAVIS: I would say, what your ultimate plans are. I mean, after all, if we're to be at the table and to play, we have to at least have a card and now we do. So you said that if the hooks are in, we can continue and see what this is all about. Would that mean our next stop is Aeor?

MATT: "That it would be."

TRAVIS: Well, I for one am very curious as to where this is leading to, and frankly what it's all about. I wouldn't mind traveling a bit further knowing that you've hit all the rest of your stops, we can't seem to be of any further service to you in expediting your cause, and well, I think we'll all be safer traveling in numbers, don't you think? Although this poor chap, I think he's had enough, yes, Avar? Iver?

MATT: (laughs) He's still half-buried in the snow trying to not be seen, and is like-- "(shushing) Hi," and just disappears even further under one of his coats. You glance around and you cannot see Dagen.

TRAVIS: Interesting.

MARISHA: Good, that's good.

SAM: Let's not mention him.

MARISHA: That's fine, yeah exactly, good.

TALIESIN: I mean, I can't speak for the others, they have baggage, but I...

MARISHA: Hey.

TALIESIN: You do.

MARISHA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Fair.

MARISHA: Fair.

TALIESIN: Thank you. I just feel a little safer just having something going forward. I mean, I appreciate what you've been trying to do, I've just been... I feel like I've had probably more polite people betray my trust in my time outside of my home, so.

MATT: "Have I betrayed your trust at all?"

TALIESIN: Not yet, obviously you've been--

MATT: "But you're the kind of person that waits for someone to betray their trust all the day is long?"

TALIESIN: I'm learning to expect--

MATT: "That's a sad way to live."

TALIESIN: Well, I'm learning to expect a lot of things out here, and it is, it's unfortunate, but I figure, it's going to be a lot harder getting what you want if you have to figure out how to get it once we're all gone, and honestly you seem pretty convincing, so I really don't imagine that once we've had a couple conversations, that you're not going to get it in the first place.

MATT: "Well."

TALIESIN: So why wait, why not wait?

MATT: "The thing that you have is not the only one of its kind. It would be far more convenient for us to have it now, but should you not wish to, we can find another."

TALIESIN: So let's eat and let's talk about it.

MATT: "Indeed. So what is the trade then? You will give us the stone, and we tell you what it is we're after."

TRAVIS: No, I don't think so.

LAURA: No.

TRAVIS: I don't think that has the right weight to it, does it? I think it's more like we come with you, and you inform us, as much as you're comfortable, a little bit about what you're after and what you expect to happen. See, the thing about having one piece of a puzzle is yes, you could go find another, but it just might not fit right. So you really do need our piece of the puzzle. And I sure would like to know what the whole picture looks like, or at least get a hint.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

MARISHA: Damn, that's good. Damn, that's so good.

TRAVIS: Oh, natural 19 for a 24!

SAM: Wild magic, butterflies.

MATT: Lucien leans back and goes. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Pah! And as he looks towards Fjord, Caduceus, you swear, you swear that the eye tattoo on the side of the neck seems to turn and look your direction.

SAM: Gross.

MATT: "He just goes, Well, boys and girls, it has been a bit lonely traveling out here alone. Are we against having a few more companions?" (as Zoran) "Not particularly. Wouldn't be too bad to have some more knuckleheads to toss some laughs with, eh?" The halfling looks up and goes, "Yeah, yeah sure, more friends. We can take more friends, eh?" The elf looks back, initially curious to the group, goes, Well... sure, why not? Could be fun." And Cree is leaning behind Lucien, just looking at all of you with this very stoic expression and goes, "Whatever the Nonagon says, goes." Lucien goes-- (hands clap) "Very well. Is that one coming?" Points over to your new gnome friend, Iver, who's now not visible beneath the snow. Iver's like, "No, no, no, I'm going back to Balenpost." (laughs nervously)

TALIESIN: Works for us.

LAURA: I don't have my spells still, if I'm not... If we haven't gotten a rest, I can't do it.

MARISHA: Fuck.

TRAVIS: It's kind of the least of our worries at the moment.

SAM: Yeah, that's true.

ASHLEY: We could give him the stone for two hours of sleep. (chuckling)

SAM: Let us sleep for an hour and 55 minutes and we'll give you everything you want. (laughter)

TRAVIS: What a negotiation!

MARISHA: I mean.

TRAVIS: There are times in my life where I would been like--

MARISHA: Yeah, I've been there. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Take it, take it.

ASHLEY: Take anything, let me sleep.

LIAM: I mean we're not sleeping, we're holding still and listening to all this shit.

LAURA: I'm trying so hard to keep my eyes closed.

SAM: I guess we can let Iver go. Is Iver-- are you going to be okay crossing the tundra by yourself?

TALIESIN: Only for an hour.

SAM: No provisions?

MATT: "I can travel faster just by myself, and I've done this as a job for quite some time, so I'll be fine."

TALIESIN: We're only an hour away.

SAM: Just remember, we're good guys, these guys are not-- We protected you from them.

TRAVIS: TBD.

TALIESIN: Yeah, just let it--

SAM: Well--

MATT: Make a persuasion check. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Goddamn it!

LAURA: One.

SAM: Oh, eight! (laughter)

MARISHA: Oh, lord.

TRAVIS: Where is Shorthalt? (laughter)

LIAM: Is that a hand cone of clarity?

MATT: Iver's going-- (laughter)

SAM: Okay.

MATT: He's already leaving. He's like pack on his shoulder, like, "Oh, okay all right, I'll-- travel safe."

MARISHA: Iver.

MATT: "Yeah?"

MARISHA: This one sees all.

TRAVIS: I make my face look like his. I wink.

SAM: Ooh. Change back.

MARISHA: So then you know.

MATT: And he just turns around and starts trudging in the snow in a southward direction.

MATT: You see Lucien's watching and goes--

MARISHA: Sorry. That's what I know best.

MATT: Lucien raises a finger over towards the halfling, goes, "Do, um... do you need--"

TALIESIN: No, he's fine.

MATT: "Very well." (exhales) "Well then, y'all look a bit tired and I think we can use a bit of rest. Finish up, have some breakfast, then I guess we'll be on our way together."

TALIESIN: That sounds nice, actually.

TRAVIS: Bit more sleep, some food.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yep, yeah-- (mumbles)

MATT: "I think we've got quite a bit to talk about on the road ahead." (smacks lips) And that's where we'll end tonight. (groaning)

MARISHA: Oh no!

TRAVIS: How'd he find us?!

ASHLEY: No!

TRAVIS: How did he find us?!

MARISHA: (groaning)

TRAVIS: I guess if he's seen us, he can scry on any of us, right?

LAURA: Locate Creature.

SAM: It's because we slept near the thing!

TALIESIN: Oh my god, we're going to get two more hours sleep. Do you know what that means? It means brunch with the devil. I'm so excited. (laughter)

MATT: There's a lot of things someone can do with a fraction of your blood. (groaning)

TRAVIS: Oh, that fucking cat.

LAURA: Has our blood.

TRAVIS: El gato es diablo, I told you.

SAM: That blood was so long ago!

TALIESIN: It's gone bad by now, right? Right? You got to refrigerate that-- oh, it's cold.

ASHLEY: Well, we're cold out here.

TRAVIS: Vials of blood. Son of a bitch.

MATT: Well, it's a blood cleric. They got all sorts of tricks, even beyond what the player--

TRAVIS: Oh, yeah, figure out the slice.

MATT: Yeah, I know, I know.

ASHLEY: Damn.

MATT: All right, we'll pick up from there next week.

LAURA: Oh, next year!

MATT: Next year. That's right! Yeah, yeah. Oh my god. Aaah! Next year in 2021.

TRAVIS: May it be a better one.

MATT: May it indeed be a fucking better one.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: Oh man, that went weird places. Okay, let's see what traveling with the Nonagon is going to be like, oh man.

TALIESIN: Maybe we'll get to do a group combat against something. It'll be like a bonding exercise, like going on one of those weird--

TRAVIS: I've never quite gone up against another adventuring party. Like they're pretty stacked.

ALL: Yeah.

TRAVIS: It's not like a foe or two.

MARISHA: He's got weird tricks.

SAM: I feel like we could take out some of the side buddies, but--

MARISHA: But Nonagon--

LAURA: That guy is like legit.

SAM: Not him. Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LIAM: There are nein of us, though.

TRAVIS: It's going to give and take if we do that.

MARISHA: And we are mighty.

MATT: Yeah, indeed. But we shall see what that looks like next year. (groaning)

MATT: (laughs)

ASHLEY: It's too far to wait.

MATT: I know. Thank you all so much for following along with us. Have very happy holidays all of you, and a happy new year. Of course, we'll see you in the new one. Enjoy, know that we love you very much, and... is it Thursday yet? Good night. (cheering)

TRAVIS: Yeah, fuck 2020!