Transcript:The Deathwish Run

Pre-show
MATT: Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

ALL: (discordant) We play Dungeons & Dragons!

MATT: It just gets weirder every time. Before we jump into tonight's episode, we do have some announcements to get through, beginning with our first sponsor of the ongoing saga of the NordVPN. Laura, please be brief.

LAURA: Not a problem. As soon as I upload the kit, root-root kit, Setty will be defragged once and for all. I just need to jack in and type the code. H-T-T-P, colon, colon, slash, hold on. Slash, forward slash...

ASHLEY: (rings bell)

TRAVIS: (laughs)

ASHLEY: (Cockney accent) Uh-uh, I don't think so! Now! What did you really want to do, Cryptonic Override? What did you really want to do, Cryptonic Override?

LAURA: (flatly) I want to sort the numbers, must meet quota, if I sort enough, they'll give me a waffle party or a music dance experience.

TRAVIS: Cryptonic? Laura, what's wrong? Ashley, what did you do to her?

ASHLEY: (American accent) Ashley is dead! Number Two, my hacker name is Setty.

TRAVIS: But your accent, your outfit!

ASHLEY: I know, it was the perfect hacker cover!

TRAVIS: You'll never get away with this. I'll de-boot your source code!

ASHLEY: (rings bell)

(laughter)

TRAVIS: (flatly) Finger traps are awesome. As Kier said, keep a merry humor in your heart.

LIAM: Wait a second, wait a second... I know what this is. Are you severing them?

TALIESIN: Severing? Like the hit series Severance from Apple TV that has nothing to do with this ad?

ASHLEY: Affirmatron, chip-worms. I'll sever the part of your brains that remembers these stupid ads, so you'll forget about NordVPN, forget how it provides the highest quality encryption for your internet traffic, and hides your IP and physical location. Forget how it has more than 5,400 servers in 59 countries. Forget about how easy it is to get high speed and protection with once simple click.

LAURA: (flatly) You'll forget how it's available on every major platform, like Windows, iOS, Android, and Linux.

ASHLEY: You'll never remember any of these indulgent skits.

MATT: Actually, that sounds great, sign me up, please.

ASHLEY: (rings bell)

MATT: Unknown, unknown, Delaware, unknown, unknown.

ERIKA: So, just to clarify, because I'm new here, you guys keep talking about Severance, the gripping drama starring Adam Scott and Britt Lower, but they are not the sponsor tonight?

ASHLEY: Correct.

ERIKA: Okay, and Severance, the Emmy-nominated show that's available now streaming on Apple TV has nothing to do with NordVPN, who's your actual sponsor?

ASHLEY: Also, correct.

ERIKA: Okay, count me in.

ASHLEY: (rings bell)

LIAM: (monotone) Us, too.

TALIESIN: Us, too.

ASHLEY: (rings bell)

(muffled laughter)

MARISHA: I am also in this skit. Ding.

ASHLEY: Ha-ha-ha, now no one can stop me. With a push of this button, you analog dorks will never be able to go to nordvpn.com/criticalrole or use code "criticalrole" to get a two-year plan plus a bonus gift with the huge discount again! Matt, I've hacked you. (laughter) (rings bell)

MATT: (sighs in relief)

SAM: That was so long.

MATT: That was a very, very long sketch.

LIAM: Wow, you guys.

TRAVIS: Mountain out of a molehill, you guys. That's what we do.

MATT: We did it.

ASHLEY: Probably the best that's been done.

MATT: This is how much we care about Sam.

LAURA: Severance is really good, though.

MATT: Severance is really good. This episode is also sponsored by our friends at Cash App, the easiest way to send, spend, and save money. You can invest with as little as one dollar and connect your direct deposit to get paid two days early. Check out the number one finance app in the App Store or Google Play Store now and new users can use the code "CRITROLE" and they'll receive $15 when they are finished completing their account, and $10 will go to the Critical Role Foundation, terms apply. So that's fun. Marisha, you have something to talk about.

MARISHA: Oh boy, in case you missed it, we're heading out to San Diego Comic Con. Our panel will begin at 5:00pm on Saturday, July 23rd in Ballroom 20, with the wonderful Christian Navarro will be our moderator. I love him. If you're not able to attend San Diego Comic Con this year, have no fear, we're going to do what we always do and we will post the panel to our YouTube channel on July 28th. Also, our fifth episode of 4-Sided Dive will air on August 9th. I know it is not the first Tuesday of the month, like, you know, we said, because moving forward, 4-Sided Dive is going to air on Tuesdays, but it might not always be the first Tuesday of the month because, you know, we're still in crazy times. There's still a pandemic. There's still things.

ERIKA: In these unprecedented times--

MARISHA: In these unprecedented times, we do not have a precedented programming schedule. Presidential programming and production schedule.

ERIKA: They are here for you.

MARISHA: Absolutely. Finally, a reminder that next Thursday, July 28th, we will be taking our end of the month break and we will be back with the next episode of Campaign 3 on Thursday, August 4th. I believe that concludes our announcements, so with that, let's go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role.

Part I
MATT: And welcome back. So, last we left off, our troop of heroes had made their way to the city of Bassuras, in the middle of the Hellcatch Valley, in search of Armand Treshi, who has been on the run. You managed to discover and confirm that he has been hiding out in the Seat of Disdain, the center of the Paragon's Call Crawler gang that sits within the city. As part of your intent to find a way to gather more influence or to safely get into this fortress called the Seat of Disdain, you met with a contact, General Ratanish and spoke on your interest in joining this Crawler gang, upon which some of you met the leader of Paragon's Call, Otohan Cruel-- or Thull, who has a unique history. (bell dings)

SAM: That's the first time Ashley-- (laughter)

ERIKA: Ding.

ASHLEY: I think my sleeve was making it--

SAM: I don't know. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Can't even do a bell.

MATT: Hey, I just like the fact that it made an NPC's name ring a bell.

(laughter and jeering)

MATT: Eh, fuck me. (laughter)

(laughter)

MATT: So, as part of the process of being initiated or proving your worth to join Paragon's Call, you agreed to take place in the Deathwish Run which is a dangerous, deadly race that takes place through and around the city of Bassuras. A more recent race that's being designed as part of your request to join was set for that dusk and so you've all begun to prepare yourselves for this race in the short time that you have. In the meantime, you've also had some unique character revelations, some interesting bits of information come your way about some of you and in the morrow, the following day, supposedly, Birdie Calloway is to be arriving within the city and there is a coming meeting. But as we come in, it is about dusk here in Bassuras, a number of you-- I know, Dusk at dusk-- have begun gathering on the outside, The Skids region, the scattered tent and hovel city that is clustered around the outside of the Carmine Curtain, the large red wall that keeps the interior of the Bassuras city protected. Here, as some of you have walked to what's called the Bone Tree, the area where the race both begins and ends here in The Skids. You approach this massive tree built of bleached white bones and skulls that seems to curl up into the now reddening and purple-colored skies, the sun sets in the distant mountain range. You can see scattering crowds of denizens of Bassuras, as well as other members of Crawler gangs growling and shouting in excitement at the coming race, as well as the other four racers that are here at the starting line, along to fight their way to the finish and maybe take you out along the way. You have two crawlers at your service, one that you purchased and one that's a loaner, but as part of the preparation for this, I want to re-confirm, one, who's racing, and what the rest of you are doing, which, because it has been some time leading up to this, those who are not participating in the race, I will allow you to formulate how you are setting up and preparing, or what you may have prepared leading up to it. So first off, who are the racers?

TRAVIS: Reluctantly crouched--

TALIESIN and TRAVIS: At the starting line. (laughter)

TALIESIN: It's been in my head the entire time.

ERIKA: ♪ ("The Distance") ♪

ASHLEY: Such a good song.

MATT: It really is.

ASHLEY: That's so good.

TALIESIN: I'm going to be driving our crawler, so the fancy one.

MATT: Okay, I'll put you here.

SAM: Which you've named what?

TALIESIN: Did we name it?

SAM: Nope.

LAURA: Yes, but no, but I did want to-- Before we got in it, I wanted to mark it with a BH, for Bells Hells.

SAM: Oh nice.

ERIKA: I thought we got that emblem on it.

LAURA: Yeah, we were going to do it, but he didn't paint it on it for us, so I'm going to mark it myself, in red paint. Oh, no, I'm going to do it in--

MARISHA: Blood.

LAURA: I want to do it in black paint, but I'm going to put a little red moon next to it.

MATT: I dig it. Okay, BH with a red moon. (laughter) On there.

LAURA: It was just a noise.

MARISHA: The timing.

MATT: Perfect. Okay, so you're driving. Who is your passenger?

LAURA: That would be me.

MATT: All right, let's get you situated here in the back passenger seat of that crawler. So this is where your skirmish-crawler is going to be situated. Who is the other driver?

LAURA: Ours is called the Red Moon.

TALIESIN: Ooh! Fucking into that.

TRAVIS: I'm also driving.

MATT: All righty, and you'll be in the loaner, over here in the front seat. It's a little hard for you to look over, but we can set up a booster.

TRAVIS: We've also painted on the side a little bucket with a bunch of turds in it. It's named the Buck Fucket.

ASHLEY: Buck Fucket?

MATT: The Buck Fucket?

MARISHA: I love it.

LIAM: Wow.

MATT: That's slick. All right.

TRAVIS: As of six seconds ago. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Red Moon and--

TALIESIN: The Buck Fucket.

ASHLEY: Buck Fucket?

TRAVIS: The Buck Fucket.

ERIKA: That's pretty good.

TRAVIS: I switched the front letters, but the desired effect is the same. (laughter)

MATT: Perfect, and who's your passenger?

MARISHA: Laudna.

SAM: Loud-na.

MARISHA: Loud-na. Laudna and Letters.

SAM: And Fresh Cut Grass is also going to be on there. Two smaller creatures, we hope, will add up to one weight.

MATT: You're technically a medium creature.

SAM: Oh fuck!

MATT: You're just shorter.

SAM: Uh-huh.

LAURA: That's right, you're heavy.

SAM: Well, we're still doing it.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: You've got metal bits.

MARISHA: I'm made of papier-mâché, if that...

ASHLEY: Just bones?

MARISHA: I'm bones.

ASHLEY: Literally just bones.

TRAVIS: I'm all dick. (laughter)

LAURA: He's a small creature that weighs a medium, and you're a medium creature that weighs as a small.

TRAVIS: Take a couple of hours to suck down a bunch of helium and then technically--

LIAM: I think it's less about weight and more about balance and spots to sit, stand.

TALIESIN: Not helping.

MATT: You're still a stocky thing.

LAURA: Are you hooking yourself to the front of it, FCG? How are you doing this?

SAM: Is there a seat in the back or a seat in the front for me, and I know there's no seats, but like where can I position myself so that I can hang on somehow?

MATT: You can, if you have your grapple arm connected.

SAM: I do.

MATT: You could use that to hang off the side.

SAM: Okay.

ASHLEY: Come on.

MATT: I will say, because you have a third person on this vehicle, that the driver does not have access to the bonus action accelerate ability.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: So you can only-- You have your bonus action for whatever else you want to use it as, but you do not have access to the accelerate.

LIAM: Replace the front wheel with Letters? Too late now.

LAURA: Oh fuck, that would've been amazing.

MARISHA: Do we have enough time to unbolt them and do that?

TRAVIS: You want to make FCG the front wheel?!

MATT: You know what?

SAM: What do I do if I fall apart or something?

MARISHA: I don't know!

MATT: We'll find out. We can certainly try. Who wants to try to tinker this in the five- to 10-minute buffer you have?

ASHLEY: I can do it, it's fine.

MATT: Okay, great.

MARISHA: Hang on, wait. We're not committing, we're not committing.

SAM: If I--

MARISHA: We're just talking.

TRAVIS: What kind of a check would it be to tinker? What do you think?

ERIKA: I feel you're that guy.

TRAVIS: I'm that guy. I have stuff.

MARISHA: Unless you just want to hang off--

MATT: I would say either if you have tinker's tools and you are proficient with them, you can add the proficiency modifier, or it would be a straight dexterity or intelligence check, your choice.

SAM: Before you do this, I have the bomb, so I was planning on jettisoning myself at some point to use the bomb.

TRAVIS: Yeah, just do the grapple hook thing, we'll get rid of the bonus action.

SAM: I know.

MATT: Here's the thing, to break this down. Whoever the driver is, when it comes to your turn, you use your movement to move the vehicle ahead one section, and I do have it broken down into section by section and we'll be keeping tabs on where people are moving around the race as it goes on.

TRAVIS: This is the best county fair race ever.

LAURA: (excited yell)

LIAM: It's a pig race.

MATT: You can use your action to dash and move a second one, and then your bonus action, if you have the accelerate action, to move a third time, but that's all the driver does. Or you could not go all in on all that movement, move a little bit and use your action, use your bonus action to try and fuck with the other drivers. So it's not that much of a drawback if you have options and things at your disposal you can use to mess with other drivers.

ERIKA: Here's my thought.

SAM: So if-- Sorry, if Travis is driving, if Chetney is driving, he uses move, action to move us ahead two, and then he still has access to his bonus action?

TRAVIS: No, with this, I would not.

MATT: No, you still have access to your bonus action, but you just cannot use it to accelerate.

TRAVIS: Got it, got it.

LAURA: Got it.

ERIKA: Here's the thought is that the front wheel is kind of squishy, it has the AC of 21 and 25 hit points, though, and if it's destroyed, there's a good chance that the crawler explodes. So, but my thought is, if you're the wheel, and you can heal yourself, and you have more hit points than that, probably?

LIAM: Absolutely.

ERIKA: Just a thought.

MATT: That's valid.

SAM: I could also jump into the wheel if we lose our wheel, I could be the wheel in the event it happens.

LIAM: We would have to wipe out, and then tinkering...

MATT: The idea--

SAM: Ahh!

MATT: You know what? Let's not go too deep into it. We'll cross that bridge if we get to it, because I'm excited to see how the fuck we try and pull that off in the moment.

LIAM: I have another question. If FCG is the wheel and is not weight on the bike, does that give Chetney his bonus back to--

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LIAM: -- to use the bonus for speed again?

MATT: Yes. It would in that circumstance, likely.

SAM: Would that prevent me-- I'm full-time wheel at that point, I can't do other things.

ERIKA: You can, you still have your hands.

MATT: Depends on how you pull this off.

SAM: Oh boy, guys.

MATT: Because if you jump in as the front wheel, how are you staying put? You're holding on, right? Which means you can cast spells that don't require somatic components.

SAM: I mean, unless we tinker me somehow.

LIAM: We've got to tinker you to weld it--

LAURA: We tinker you.

LIAM: -- so that your hands are free.

SAM: That sounds like a terrible idea.

LIAM: Sam Riegel. Are you, Sam Riegel, scared of a crazy move in D&D?

SAM: I'm not scared, I just want to make sure that--

LIAM: What did you do with my best friend, Sam Riegel?

SAM: I'm not scared, I just want to be able to help. If I'm literally like this the whole race, and I can only be a wheel, then I can't do anything.

LAURA: That's true. You can't heal.

LIAM: We don't want that.

MARISHA: Unless we try to tinker--

LAURA: Yeah, we don't want that.

LIAM: We want these free. It's not useful unless--

SAM: We can tinker me in right now, but if it fails, we might have a broken wheel for the race.

TRAVIS: And we'd have to tinker check you in well because none of us are welders. We don't have welding tools. I'm not a blacksmith. If we roll it shitty, and you just break off in the first fucking round, it's a total waste. (laughter) It's a cool idea, but it's not worth the five to 10 minutes we have. We might be able to borrow a welding torch from somebody, but I'll be welding for the first time.

SAM: Also, if we're too slow, if we're halfway through the race, and we're falling way behind, I can just bail.

LAURA: That's true.

MARISHA: That is true.

TALIESIN: That is true.

TRAVIS: Also, I swore never to work with metal, you fuckers.

ASHLEY: Yeah, that's true.

MARISHA: Yes, it is.

LAURA: Let's just go. Let's just do it.

TALIESIN: Yeah, that'll be fine because the speed is six.

MARISHA: If you are--

SAM: Or I'll just kick Laudna off. (laughter)

MATT: Also consider--

ERIKA: Oops. Bones!

MARISHA: I know! Crack!

MATT: Consider the circumstance. Are you just walking up to the finish line, or the starting line and adding three people to a bike in full view of everybody out there that has two per bike?

LAURA: Oh.

ERIKA: They're going to laugh at us.

SAM: Are there rules?

TRAVIS: (high-pitched) They're all going to laugh at us.

MATT: I mean, you don't know.

LAURA: Unspoken rules?

MATT: You don't know. They only rule you've been told so far is...

ERIKA: Don't die.

MATT: Don't die.

LAURA: You could just--

MARISHA: But you're not a person. You can--

SAM: I can be 100 feet forward, and I can grab on.

LAURA: Plus you guys are on the end, so you could just be standing next to it. Then as everybody goes, then grab on.

TRAVIS: You going to do a hand grab as they go by?

SAM: Yeah, I could be behind that thing over there, waiting for you guys to go by.

LAURA: That's really far ahead.

MATT: We can do that, if you want to be sitting off to the side and when it goes by, you can reach out for it.

SAM: Yeah, I'll shoot my grapple.

LIAM: What about this?

MATT: Okay. I like it.

SAM: Orym's got something.

LIAM: The tanglefoot bag lasts for an hour. So we could glue you to the front of this bike with the tanglefoot bag, which lasts one hour.

SAM: The tanglefoot bag, is it goop or glue?

MATT: It's a glue type-- It's an adhesive.

LIAM: So we could tinker and then go pfft. (laughter)

MATT: You tell me.

TRAVIS: Somebody help us make decisions. It's not my job at this table.

MATT: You tell me.

SAM: I think it's more...

ASHLEY: What do you want?

LAURA: What do you want to do?

LIAM: Yeah, these are all conversations--

TALIESIN: Your call.

LIAM: -- we had on the streets of the city.

SAM: Oh man. I'm so tempted to be a wheel.

ERIKA: Do it! When are you going to get a chance to do this again?

SAM: But it's so risky. It's unnecessarily risky.

LIAM: I feel like I don't know you anymore. (laughter)

MATT: Sam, it's your call.

LAURA: It's your call.

MATT: You have an opportunity.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: You made a character with a wheel. You have an opportunity to be a wheel.

ERIKA: If you truly can't decide--

MATT: Is the risk worth the reward, or do you have other plans?

TRAVIS: Your previous goal was to deliver a bomb, right?

LAURA: Yeah, he might have plans he's not telling us. He does that sometimes.

SAM: I mean, I can do all kinds of things to help us, but not if I can't move my arms.

LAURA: But we have a tanglefoot bag.

MATT: No, with a tanglefoot bag in place, you would be able--

SAM: Let's tinker me on as a wheel. Let's do it. (laughter)

MARISHA: You will have access to your arms, right?

LIAM: Come on, what is better than this?

SAM: As long as I can move my arms, I'm okay.

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay.

ERIKA: This is good.

ASHLEY: But we can't use the tanglefoot bag--

LAURA: In the race, technically. (laughter) That's fine.

ASHLEY: That's okay.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: All right.

MATT: All right, so--

SAM: Glue me. Glue me!

LIAM: I think Chetney should do some technical first, and then we'll...

TALIESIN: Chetney actually uses glue. There's wood glue.

TRAVIS: I need a drink. I swore I'd never work with metal. I need to be as drunk as possible. I need to not remember any of this.

SAM: You can't drink and drive!

TRAVIS: Shut up, bitch. Get me alcohol! (laughter)

MATT: This is going to be great.

TALIESIN: I'm sure I have some on me.

LAURA: Just put a straw in FCG.

MATT: This is going to be great.

LAURA: I think he still has some alcohol in his body.

TRAVIS: I'm breaking my own code.

SAM: I could calm your emotions.

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, do it.

SAM: But that would use a spell slot.

ASHLEY: No, save the spell, save the spell. (laughter)

TRAVIS: It'll be fine. I'll just cut my hands off later.

MARISHA: I go get a shot from a kiosk.

SAM: All right, we'll give him a-- You get a shot, one shot.

MARISHA: I'm sure there's a shot kiosk, right?

SAM: We need your focus.

LIAM: That's what they're called?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: A shot kiosk.

TRAVIS: Takes the edge off.

MATT: Okay.

ERIKA: I bet at this point they've got the little trays.

SAM: What if he turns into a wolf halfway through the race? That's going to weigh us down.

LAURA: That could be amazing.

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: All right.

MATT: So, you can mark off your tanglefoot bag.

LIAM: For sure.

MATT: You have at your disposal, you can choose whether it be your dexterity or intelligence modifier, and just go ahead and make a straight d20 roll.

TALIESIN: Can we--

SAM: Plus Guidance.

TALIESIN: Plus Guidance.

MATT: There you go.

SAM: Please. Please, Chetney.

TRAVIS: Okay.

SAM: Just look at this as wood.

TRAVIS: Come on, Werther's dice.

SAM: This is all wood.

TRAVIS: Oh, and plus Guidance. What's Guidance?

SAM: Four.

TALIESIN: d4.

MARISHA: Roll big. Roll big, bitch.

TRAVIS: Ooh.

ERIKA: Ooh, no.

TRAVIS: Not good. Eh, 12.

LAURA: Plus glue?

MATT: The DC was 10--

ASHLEY: Okay!

MATT: -- that you know of.

TRAVIS: Oh, damn.

ERIKA: What do you--

SAM: That you know of? What does that mean?

MATT: You don't know. It seems to work fine.

LAURA: Oh my god.

SAM: Oh god. Can I move my arms?

MATT: You can.

SAM: Okay. (laughs)

MARISHA: A little bit of J-B Welder, and we're good to go.

LIAM: Okay, yeah.

ERIKA: Just some J-B Weld.

MARISHA: Just a little J-B Weld.

LIAM: I gingerly place the bag behind FCG's shoulder blades, his mechanical shoulder blades.

SAM: The bag? Oh, the tanglefoot bag.

LIAM: The tanglefoot bag, yeah.

MATT: I'll just stick that there.

LAURA: Do you want me to give the bomb to somebody else, though?

SAM: Yeah, I guess, Laudna, here's the bomb.

MARISHA: It's so heavy.

SAM: Oh god.

LAURA: How heavy is it? How heavy is the bomb?

MARISHA: I don't know. How heavy is the bomb?

MATT: It's probably a solid 40 pounds.

SAM: Oh my goodness!

ASHLEY: Oh!

MARISHA: It is so heavy.

LIAM: FCG, hold your hands out as far forward as you can away from you. And I take a stick from the ground, and I whack the bag on an angle--

MARISHA: Maybe you should take it. You can maybe telekinesis it.

LIAM: -- so that it hopefully sprays back into the front of the bike.

LAURA: I can't do that.

MARISHA: Not 40 pounds.

LIAM: To trigger it so I don't get stuck in it myself.

MATT: Fair enough.

TALIESIN: This is amazing.

SAM: Okay. He's tanglefooting me?

LIAM: I jump four feet in the air, and go, whoof.

MATT: The combination of both of you guys working together, with the tanglefoot bag and your roll, you are wedged up in there, and your entire back portion of your body-- Well, first off, you removed the wheel, and everyone's like, "Oh, hey, what's he doing? Hey, you going to race without a wheel? What's this idiot doing?"

TRAVIS: That's right. We're in your head, motherfucker. (laughter)

ERIKA: You tell him! (laughter)

MATT: As you take this automaton and jam it up in there, everyone's like, "What?" You hear the whispers like, "They're crazy, what are they doing? What's wrong with these people? It's going to fall apart. Look at that thing. It looks like a servant robot or something."

SAM: Pleased to help.

MATT, MARISHA: (laugh)

MATT: As you get up in there, you wedge some of the metal pieces together, bend them in a little bit. Then the tanglefoot bag, wack! (glue sticking). It glues your shoulders and your back up into the inside. You are just wedged. You are stationary with your arms flopping out there and your wheel angled out at the front. It is such a small wheel compared to the massive thing that's on there. As soon as it happens and you guys walk away, the crowd's like, "Huh?" (laughter)

LAURA: Oh my god.

LIAM: I go over and get some of Imogen's blood that she painted with, and I go over to FCG. I point two slanted angry eyebrows over his eyes. (laughter) Then I draw jaws on his--

TRAVIS: Like a Warthog, the front of like a Warthog.

LIAM: Yeah, so he now has jaws painted on down here.

TRAVIS: Hang ten, baby.

ASHLEY: Yes.

LAURA: Ashton, I have the bomb. (whispering) I have the bomb. Do you want to hold? It's 40 pounds.

TALIESIN: I'm going to put--

LAURA: Wear it like a little baby carrier?

TALIESIN: Yeah. I'm going to have it in there ready to--

ERIKA: A bomb Bjorn!

TRAVIS: A bomb Bjorn! (laughter)

LIAM: It's a Bjomb.

TALIESIN: I got this.

MARISHA: A Bjomb.

ERIKA: It's a Bjomb.

TRAVIS: A Bjomb.

TALIESIN: This should be fine.

LAURA: You'll be fine.

SAM: Just so you know, it's got a tick-tick-tick time fuse. So you can set it for like 10 seconds and drop it, or something like that.

LAURA: Okay, all right.

TRAVIS: Or set it for one, and that's all she wrote.

MATT: Roll a new character?

TALIESIN: If I'm driving, should I have it, or should we just have it so it can be--

LAURA: Maybe just, yeah. We'll just keep it in front of me or behind me.

TALIESIN: I've got a great idea.

LAURA: Huh?

TALIESIN: We'll put it between us.

LAURA: Okay.

TALIESIN: And when it's time, if you can do it, you can telekinetically set it and kick it off. LAURA Okay, yeah. I'll do that. Yeah, you can just--

LAURA: Good call.

TALIESIN: You can bap it.

LAURA: So it's between us.

SAM: You've got a bomb on your ship.

LAURA: Yeah. It's in a backpack, but I'll keep the timer on me.

MATT: Hell, yeah. So we have Ashton and Imogen on one bike, the souped up one with the Bell Hells, BH in the moon. Then we have Chetney and Laudna with an FCG wheel up front on the loaner.

TRAVIS: On the Buck Fucket.

MATT: On the Buck Fucket, sorry.

MARISHA: Oh wow.

LIAM: I'm a little nervous, but fuck it.

MARISHA: Oh wow. You've got guts.

TRAVIS: FCG, I just want you to know, whatever happens, it's nothing personal.

SAM: What!?

TRAVIS: If I start aiming for rocks and shit, just roll with it, literally. Oh!

SAM: Oh!

LAURA: Oh.

SAM: Oh god. Do I have suspension? (laughter)

TRAVIS: Warm up those knees.

MARISHA: You didn't get that upgrade?

MATT: Meanwhile, those of you who are not part of the race, what are you setting up? By the way, we can flash back a bit in this to what you've been doing in the hours leading up to this race before dusk, in which you've been figuring out your plans and where you want to station. There's the four main sections of this race. There's The Skids where it begins at the Bone Tree. This is the more urban opening, where you're going through city streets that are clustered with people and what else might find its way in front of you. Then there's the ravine in which you drive down the switchback roads that lead into a cave system that goes underneath the city through the ravine. Then there's the climb, which is the switchback roads that go back up the side of the ravine, which is a slower, more arduous upward endeavor. Then the return to the skids across the Carmine Curtain, which leads back to the Bone Tree, which is--

LIAM: Is it one set of switchbacks or two?

MATT: It's two.

LIAM: Switchbacks down--

MATT: Switchbacks down.

LIAM: -- switchbacks up.

MATT: -- and the cavern, that's the ravine, and then the switchback up that leads to the city itself.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: Each with their own unique flavor.

LIAM: Well, Orym and Dusk had been talking about pairing up to find a good spot on the racetrack to try to jack somebody else's bike. My pitch is that we do the ravines and find a good hairpin turn on the way down because bikes are going to have to slow for a hairpin turn. So hopefully we can find a spot--

ASHLEY: That's a good idea.

LIAM: -- with an outcropping, so when a bike comes, slows to turn around, that's when we pounce. Now, I can jump on that motherfucker. But I saw you vanish--

ERIKA: I can bamf.

LIAM: -- bamf around those houses the other day.

ERIKA: Mm-hmm.

LIAM: Okay, cool. Fearne.

ASHLEY: Yes?

LIAM: Do you want to come with, or do you want to cause mayhem?

ASHLEY: Both. So here's what I think, (sighs) I like the idea of the hairpin turn because we can cause a lot of damage and fuckery with that.

MARISHA: Little bandana?

ASHLEY: I was thinking of just hanging out with one of you, maybe flying squirrel situation, and you guys can maybe chuck me onto one of the cars or one of the things. Then I can kick people off and take over the vehicles.

ERIKA: But then you won't be able to-- If you're driving a vehicle, then you can't also be doing other things. So I say we just keep the three of us to the one vehicle so that--

ASHLEY: Okay.

ERIKA: We don't need to be first. We just need to be support for everybody.

ASHLEY: Okay.

ERIKA: Right?

ASHLEY: How do we feel?

LIAM: Well, are you talking about being big Fearne?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LIAM: Or a little quokka?

ASHLEY: I feel like if I could be a little flying squirrel, you guys could chuck me onto something. Then I could (attacks).

LIAM: A Fearne grenade?

ASHLEY: A Fearne grenade.

LIAM: Oh my gosh.

TRAVIS: Road squirrels.

LAURA: I love it.

ERIKA: Well, we'll see what happens.

ASHLEY: We'll see what happens. Or I could station somewhere else just alone, and then go out?

TALIESIN: When you're above the ravine, you can always attack from above.

ASHLEY: To give us a little bit...

TALIESIN: ♪ Ta ta ta ta ta ♪

LIAM: That's the calls. Do you want to have a good hiding spot and throw hellfire down on people as they pass?

ASHLEY: I think I should do that. I think I should be in another spot.

MARISHA: You could also try and sneak on one--

ASHLEY: Before?

MARISHA: -- before we take off.

ERIKA: Yeah, but if you miss.

LIAM: Ooh.

ERIKA: Yeah.

LIAM: That's good, too.

SAM: That's good, too.

LAURA: Oh my god. Then you can just--

ASHLEY: Laudna!

ERIKA: That's it!

SAM: I'm glad that we had a week to figure this out, and we're just doing it right here.

ASHLEY: We're doing it right now. Okay.

LAURA: God, that's so cool.

MATT: That's the spirit of this table.

ASHLEY: That's a great idea. (laughter)

MARISHA: We know if we would have texted about this all week, we still would have come up with a new plan.

ASHLEY: Okay. Is there--

LIAM: Both fat on the wheels.

ASHLEY: For what I can see, just walking around, walking through them all, is there one that just looks extra special, and the people just a little bit... What looks the toughest?

MATT: There's a spread of figures here that go from gnarly and twitchy to putting on a front of stalwart aggression. The one that catches your eye, which I think I mentioned in the last session, was Erad Fuckfork.

SAM: That's right, you wrote it down!

ASHLEY: That's right, Erad. (laughter) That's right.

ERIKA: That's why I have Fuckfork written.

ASHLEY: Should I get onto Treshi's, though?

LAURA: That might be small.

SAM: But Treshi isn't racing?

MATT: He's not racing.

ASHLEY: I mean, not Treshi's.

SAM: Treshi's people.

ASHLEY: Yeah, the...

MARISHA: The Paragon's--

LAURA: The Paragon's Call.

ASHLEY: Should I get on the Paragon's Call?

SAM: Maybe.

ASHLEY: Okay. I am just going to just get around to where I have a little bit of privacy.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: I'm going to turn into... Let's go with flying squirrel because, if I need to sort of glide, I can.

MATT: Okay, okay.

ASHLEY: And I'm going to just get in somewhere onto the Paragon's Call.

SAM: They have two or one?

MATT: They have one bike on here outside of you guys that you can tell just from the markings. It would be the one far over to this side.

TRAVIS: That we can tell.

LAURA: Oh my god.

ASHLEY: I can't cast anything as a squirrel.

SAM: Yeah, but you can fuck them up. Does that bike have any added features to it, like ballista, or--?

LAURA: Yeah, exactly

MATT: No ballista or anything. Everyone here seems to have their own weapons at the ready. You see some of them in the back have large rifles situated. Some people have blades at the ready. Some of them have just bags that you don't know what's in them. People came to play, and a lot of them have souped up armor as well. Not all of them. There's a spread depending on who could afford what. But you can see a lot of them have their own custom elements, bolted-in bits of jagged errant, scavenged metal, that sticks out in pointed, jagged ways. Some look unwieldy and not very well thought out, but we'll see if it functions. Some of them look like they've been professionally done, maybe through Imahara Joe, hard to say, but it is a spread. Which of these would you like to try (laughs) and sneak aboard?

ASHLEY: I'm going to try to go for the Paragon's Call one that--

MATT: Okay. So that brings us over to what's called a Jamil Toetaker.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: Toetaker.

MATT: You see "Toetaker" across the side there. You can see up front, there is a man wearing a ram's skull that's been broken past the nose, so it's just the eyes are covered, and the horns that curl back at the lower face is there. You can see a bunch of red paint smeared across where his nose and mouth are. You can see him scratching it. It's getting a little itchy. Maybe he doesn't even quite know what he put in it first. But it's fine, he's focusing. He has thick leather armor with spikes on it. In the back here, you see this burly looking elf woman, half-elf woman, who is just open-sleeved muscular arms. You see both of them have the same dangling Duskmaven amulets on their neck. She has a massive, two-handed axe that has these handle grips on each side, that she has set down where her feet are. Where her feet are, you can see she's tucked her boots underneath metal bars that are bolted in so she has a grip on it, to keep standing on it.

LAURA: Oh, that's brilliant!

MATT: Everyone else is keeping low, but she's in a crouched position with her weapons at the ready, with a bunch of handaxes. You see a leaning rifle that is situated on the inside.

TALIESIN: Shit.

MATT: That is the Paragon's Call.

LIAM: Shit.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: On the far left.

TALIESIN: Shit fuck.

SAM: Good luck!

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: All right, we're fine.

ASHLEY: This is a great idea.

LAURA: Do I see next to me that she's got her feet tucked into a bar like that?

MATT: Make a perception check.

LAURA: Oh god.

MARISHA: She's the one who's driving?

MATT: No, she's the passenger.

MARISHA: She's the passenger.

LAURA: No, no, six.

MATT: Not at all.

LAURA: I don't see shit.

MATT: As a note, the drivers do have half cover while you're driving because you are in the cockpit. You are mostly covered. The passengers do not. (laughs)

TALIESIN: Shit.

MATT: So?

ASHLEY: Yes, yes, yes, that's an option.

SAM: So Fearne, are you sneaking on?

ASHLEY: Yes, so--

SAM: Oh my god.

MATT: I would like you to roll a stealth check for me using the dexterity modifier of the animal form you took. So squirrel or rat, whatever sits in that realm.

SAM: I'm stuck to the front of a fucking thing. I got to touch her.

MATT: (laughs)

SAM: I can't Guide anybody. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Seven.

LAURA: But you can Guide yourself. Oh, and she's a squirrel. (laughs) Never mind.

TRAVIS: What is it?

TALIESIN: Squirrels can't Guide themselves. Everybody knows that.

ERIKA: What!?

MATT: So as you climb up the side of the vehicle and--

LAURA: Kick!

MATT: -- skitter in, you go underneath one of the metal bars and you're oh, you found a perfect spot to hide low. At that moment, you feel (groans) a hand grab you. The half-elf woman's large muscular arm lifts you to her face. She goes "(snarls) (scoffs)" and throws you back into the air and then goes and pulls a pistol out and tries to shoot you out of the air.

SAM: (yells) Oh!

TRAVIS: Damn.

ERIKA: (shouts)

TRAVIS: Damn.

MATT: That's an 11. What's your AC?

ERIKA: Oh, that's got to--

LIAM: That's higher.

ERIKA: -- be better than that.

LAURA: No, no, no...

ERIKA: Oh no! It's a...

LAURA: Is it as a squirrel?

MATT: As a squirrel.

ASHLEY: It's a squirrel? Okay, wait, I don't think I have a squirrel in here.

SAM: What card were you looking at?

ASHLEY: I was looking at a rat.

MATT: The equivalent of a rat is what it would be, yeah.

ASHLEY: A 10.

LIAM: Oh!

MATT: A 10, it hits you.

TALIESIN: Oh no!

LIAM: Shit!

LAURA: Well, shit.

MATT: So you take--

LIAM: (boof)

MATT: -- four points of piercing damage.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, that's fine.

MATT: How many hit points does your rat have?

ERIKA, SAM: As the rat.

ASHLEY: I understand. I keep putting this away for some reason.

MARISHA: Maybe five, maybe six? Hit points for rat.

TRAVIS: Three, two.

ASHLEY: Am I looking at this correctly?

LIAM: It's probably a one.

LAURA: One...

ASHLEY: 1d4 minus one?

LAURA: So you--

ERIKA: (exclaims) What?

LAURA: Max of a three.

MATT: So. (laughter) You get thrown backwards and then (gun blast) crack in the air and this little squirrel goes--

ERIKA: Oh my god!

MATT: -- poof into Fearne in the middle of the air before (impacts) tumbling and rolling in the dirt. You take... Well, first off, we'll say, I will roll what your hit points would have been as...

MARISHA: She rolled so low.

MATT: -- the rat, which would be a two so you take two points of piercing damage left over from your form--

ASHLEY: So six total?

SAM: No, no, just two.

TALIESIN: Fearne two.

ASHLEY: Just two. I understand.

MATT: Just two to Fearne.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay.

MATT: Then you take an additional three points of bludgeoning damage from the impact and roll. The crowd around you goes, "(gasps). Wha..." The woman with the gun, you see the metal's bent back a little bit like it misfired and is like, "(chuckles) Nice try."

ASHLEY: Thank you!

MATT: Puts it away so that's--

TRAVIS: Cheater!

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: There aren't a lot--

ASHLEY: That didn't work.

TALIESIN: There's no cheating!

TRAVIS: What? You've got to play the road. We don't know that bitch.

MARISHA: Oh, it's all right getting--

ASHLEY: Okay.

TRAVIS: Okay.

SAM: (shouts) What's happening? (laughter)

TRAVIS: Fearne's dead.

SAM: Can't see. (laughter)

LIAM: Don't act that you can't see because then you're restricted by it.

SAM: Oh wait, my head can spin the whole way around. (laughter)

LAURA: Do you have good perception? I have shit perception.

TALIESIN: My perception is just one.

LAURA: Mine's just one as well.

TALIESIN: All right, well--

LAURA: I can give-- We can both look. We're both going to check out our bike and see if anybody's fucked with it.

MATT: Okay, go ahead and make a perception check.

SAM: Ooh, smart.

TALIESIN: Nope.

MARISHA: Should we? Oh, no, we fucked with their bike.

LAURA: 18!

TRAVIS: Oh, yeah.

TALIESIN: Two.

MATT: Two? All right, yeah, looks fine.

TALIESIN: Yeah, she...

MATT: Yeah. You, glancing over. You don't see that anyone's, because you brought the bike with you here so there hasn't really been an opportunity for anybody to step up and fuck with it, so you glance around and feel pretty confident. Though there are people eyeing your bike and-- pardon me-- formulating their own plans. What you do notice, with an 18, is amongst the crowds that are happening around, people are gathering. It looks like the tension's building to a point where the race is probably going to start pretty soon. The crowds are starting to pull to the sides. You can hear this loud whirring noise and you watch as a mammoth-crawler, the large platform one that you saw coming through the town begins pulling up over one of the lower walls nearby. Looks like it's raised to give a visual perspective benefit to the rest of the Crawler gang. They're hanging on the side to look over the rest of the crowd and get just a good view of the start of the race. You also see at the top of one of the watchtowers a figure stands up there, cloak whirling in the wind. You see General Ratanish, and to the right of General Ratanish, a figure that looks like the one in your dream.

SAM: (gasps) Wait, what? Oh! The woman.

TALIESIN: The woman.

ASHLEY: Oh, that's right.

MATT: They both just stand there looking down over the race.

ERIKA: Ooh.

TALIESIN: We are wearing those scarves, by the way.

LAURA: I'm staring at her. Does she see me at all?

TALIESIN: We are wearing our scarves.

TRAVIS: Scarves, yep.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: She looks like she's having a conversation and is just taking in the scenery, but at the moment, doesn't seem to lock in on you at all.

ERIKA: Oh man, Ashton--

TALIESIN: You okay, what?

ERIKA: Isn't that the girl you're fanboying about?

MATT: Well, here's the thing. Are you guys hiding off the ravine? So you're--

ERIKA: Are we going?

LIAM: We probably would have. If we're on the verge of starting here, then we left earlier.

ERIKA: Never mind.

MATT: That's all good. So placing you guys off the side for the time being and then Fearne, as she figures out what she wants to do here in a second.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: Yeah, you notice. At the moment, she doesn't seem to be clocking you, but you're like, "That's her." The moment of clarity hits you immediately at the distance. You see the frame, the shape, the hair, everything and you're like, "That has to be her." That cold sweat begins to just gather at the back of your neck.

LAURA: And I named it The Red Moon. (laughs)

MATT: Yep. (laughter)

SAM: Well, it's not like we're carrying banners or anything.

TRAVIS: And now the Buck Fucket. (laughter)

LAURA: I'm just going to take my scarf that we have in here and pull it up over my head just so she can't see my face or my hair.

MATT: Okay, you go ahead and wrap it around a little bit.

LAURA: I'm going to grab Ashton's shoulder and just grip his shoulder.

TALIESIN: Yeah?

LAURA: You hear in your head, "We have to drive fast."

TALIESIN: Okay, fast it is. It'll be a bit of a slow start, but we're going to get there.

LAURA: I'm going to take some rope that I have and I'm going to try to work it around the chair in front of me and turn it into some reins like I would use riding a horse so I can try to hold it like reins so I can keep steady--

MATT: I won't even make you roll for that because you're a person who grew up hiding horses, breaking horses, training horses. You know how to do this very well. So yeah, you pull some rope. As long as you have rope in your pack somewhere, you or Ashton, you situate. We're talking this is almost Dune level, sandworm riding style reins to the front that you can hold onto as you go.

TALIESIN: Remember, it's not about fast. It's about fuckin' mean.

MATT: Fearne, what are you doing?)

ASHLEY: Okay. If there's a crowd sort of behind the Paragon's Call...

MATT: Like over here.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: There's a bit of a boundary.

ASHLEY: So I'm going to try to get a little hidden, but a little bit close to it.

MATT: Okay, as Fearne.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: Make a stealth check as Fearne.

TRAVIS: With a bunch of people around.

ASHLEY: Shit, why did I just do this?

MATT: You're snaking through the crowd and stuff. (chuckles)

TALIESIN: Get all those bad rolls out now.

ASHLEY: That was a one.

LIAM: (groans)

SAM: (laughs)

MARISHA: Holy shit!

TRAVIS: Do you want to go out and back in?

MARISHA: Yeah, do it.

LAURA: Shake it off.

TRAVIS: Spin three times.

LAURA: Yeah, close those up. Don't use any of those for the rest of the game.

TRAVIS: There you go.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: So as you snake through the crowd, "Excuse me, excuse me," pushing through, there's about a five-foot gap between where the crowd ends and where the vehicle is. You (sighs), and you start walking out boldly in the middle of it, and the same woman that just shot you in the air looks you dead in the face and goes, "You back for more, miss?"

ASHLEY: No, this is a very good spot to view the festival, festivities. (laughter) I want to watch!

MATT: Make a deception check.

ASHLEY: I want to-- (laughter) I'm going back in. I'm going back in.

LAURA: No! You have all these other ones right here!

ASHLEY: Okay, okay. Deception, you said?

MATT: Yes.

ASHLEY: Where is it? Okay. Why is my deception so bad? 16.

MATT: 16, okay. She looks at you and grins and you can see the missing teeth. There's maybe four visible. The rest are either blacked out or gone entirely. But grins and goes, "Oh, if you're looking for a place to watch, stand right there," and points to the very back of the vehicle, about three feet back.

ASHLEY: You're cute. That would be dangerous.

MATT: "Yeah."

ASHLEY: Well, I don't want to get hurt here. I'm just watching.

MATT: "Then watch."

ASHLEY: That's what I'm doing. (laughter) Have fun!

MATT: "Oh, we will, we will."

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: She turns back and gets ready and you can hear now some of the nearby power cores at the center of these skirmisher-crawlers, the blue energy spheres, the same energy that you've seen all throughout Imahara Joe's shop, the larger ones that encased in a metal ribcage at the base of each one start flaring, (energy sphere roaring) brightening as they do. The buzzing sound, the weird hum they emit (energy howling) begins to growl and get louder.

LAURA: I'm casting Mage Armor.

MATT: Casting Mage Armor on yourself. Looks like people are starting to get situated in. In the middle of the road--

TRAVIS: I'm getting the poo rumbles.

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: So how's it going?

MARISHA: Oh god. I've got the inky sweats again. Oh, oh goodness.

MATT: You see one of the Gajakhandas soldiers comes out You see one of the Gajakhandas soldiers comes out with bright, fluorescent-yellow face paint that's pressed across the face in this diamond grin appearance and has this large flag that starts white and then just goes to a red ombre. It looks like blood dripping across it, and just drags the pole that it's attached to through the dirt, creating a line across the way. As it does, the crowd gets louder and louder. You're, oh, this connotates beginning soon. As things get louder and the gems within these mechanical beasts begin to hum and burn louder and louder, with the light shining on the ground and causing the floor to flare up with blue around them. You can see some of the drivers starting to shout and curse at each other and mad dog it before things begin. Goes over to the other side of drawing the line and holds the flag up. Fearne, you have one last chance to do something here if you have any other ideas, or are you just going to sit back?

ASHLEY: I'm just going to sit back and watch right here.

MATT: Okay, all right.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I have an idea.

MATT: Okay, with that, oh.

ASHLEY: Wait, Chetney! Who has the butcher's apron?

LAURA: Chetney has it.

LIAM: Pretty sure it's a bib.

ASHLEY: Maybe you should wear the Butcher's Bib for scariness.

TRAVIS: I have the butcher's thing?

LAURA: Yeah, you have the Butcher's Bib. The red, bloody bib.

LIAM: You have a bleeding apron.

LAURA: Yeah, you took it, didn't you?

SAM: Unless he put it in the Bag of Holding.

TRAVIS: I think I threw it in the hole.

LIAM: Well, we could have--

ASHLEY: Okay, never mind, it's fine.

TRAVIS: It just drips blood the whole time.

ASHLEY: It just looks scary.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: It's so obvi. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Yeah, it's a bit obvious. Okay, okay, I'm going to stay.

MATT: All right. He stands off and holds aloft the white and red flag into the air. (energy spheres roaring) Everything just starts to growl louder and louder as the sounds begin to rise and build, and the final, last bit of sun begins to just vanish beyond the distant mountains, the flag--

MARISHA: Can I hold a spell? Can I hold Bane? Can I start prepping Bane right for the moment that it goes?

MATT: I will say sure.

ASHLEY: (laughs)

LAURA: "I will say sure."

MATT: (wind whipping)

SAM: (shouts)

MATT: The flag whips down with a heavy sound and everything (metal screeching) begins to take off. The feet of the back of these giant machines begin to just dig in and push off at a sprint. Dirt and bits of clodden rock get thrown into a giant cloud behind of each of them. You watch people in the sidelines at the nearby part of the starting line had to cover their eyes from the dust cloud that immediately gets kicked up as all the vehicles just tear off forward. I need those who are driving to roll initiative, please. (shouting)

TRAVIS: Go, go, go, go, go.

TALIESIN: What do I add to this?

MATT: You add your dexterity.

TALIESIN: Oh, my dexterity.

MATT: Yeah, because you're the drivers. This is your guys' reaction time.

SAM: That's right.

ERIKA: That is definitely 19.

TRAVIS: 21. (cheering)

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: 10.

MARISHA: Oh, I should write this shit down.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Oh, right, right, right.

TRAVIS: Buck Fucket, 21!

MATT: So 21. 20 to 15.

LAURA: Oh, are we--

MARISHA: Oh wait, are we all rolling?

MATT: Yes, to have you guys do your stuff.

LAURA: Oh, we roll initiative, too. Okay, okay, okay, okay.

SAM: Oh.

ASHLEY: Everyone.

MATT: Everyone who is on a vehicle. On a vehicle.

MARISHA: Everyone who's on a vehicle.

MATT: And FCG, you are a vehicle, so you also roll.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

SAM: 12.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MARISHA: 16.

LAURA: 14.

MATT: Okay, got it. So we have...

LAURA: Laudna.

MARISHA: Okay, so Laudna.

LAURA: Imogen.

MATT: What'd you get, Ashton?

TALIESIN: 10.

MATT: And FCG, what'd you get?

SAM: 12.

MATT: All right. All righty, as things push off going forward, everyone begins just careening down the front of the road. You see the street stretching and winding in front of you. Chetney, you're up first. What are you doing?

MARISHA: Can I let off my spell that I was holding--

MATT: Sure.

MARISHA: -- for this moment?

MATT: Yep.

MARISHA: Can I cast Bane at 2nd-level on, I believe the guy in the middle is 30 feet from me, on the driver and passenger of the two that are next to me?

MATT: So here and here?

MARISHA: Those two.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Then the next car over, those two.

LAURA: You can do four people in Bane?

MARISHA: If I do it at-- It's level two, if you cast at a higher level.

LAURA: Fuck yes!

MATT: You've got Baned and Baned.

ASHLEY: Yes!

TALIESIN: That's mean as fuck!

MARISHA: They get a d4 against saving throws and attacks. They get a d4 against saving throws and attacks.

MATT: You are concentrating, just as a heads-up. Okay, got it, so...

TRAVIS: I'm going to use my two actions to move. I'm going to try and cut off the people to our left in a diagonal movement with my attack action.

MATT: So that's your movement is to go there?

TRAVIS: One and then two straight ahead, and I'm going to use my bonus action to accelerate. Hold on, Letters!

SAM: Oh, that's right. We can do that.

MATT: (revving)

SAM: (shouts)

MATT: So there we are, so at that point, your tiny wheel is going so fast. (wheel revving) Just grinding through.

SAM: Smoke.

ASHLEY: (laughs)

TALIESIN: This was a great idea.

LAURA: Oh, poor Letters.

SAM: (shouts)

MATT: All right, that finishes your go. So we have...

TRAVIS: This makes us a target, but we'll see what's going to happen.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: All righty, so these two here are going to go ahead. Actually, it's these two on this side. This one's going to move one, two, three. This one's going to move one, two, three. To try and cut off that way.

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: This one here's going to move one, two, and is going to attempt to ram the guys in front of it.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

TALIESIN: d4 minus to its attack, too.

MATT: That's true.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: And minus four, that'll miss. It goes to ram and actually, the person in back looks down and pulls a switch, and you watch as a metal gate of spikes drops on the back and the person who's driving ends up throttling off--

TRAVIS: What?

MATT: -- to make sure they don't end up jamming their wheel up into this back set of spikes and holds them off at that point.

SAM: Spikes.

MATT: So that'll put them about there. That finishes their go for the drivers. The two people in the back are going to go. This one right here is going to take its rifle and fire it towards the driver on the front here.

TRAVIS: Oh god.

MATT: And is going to miss. Even without Bane, that was a natural four. The guy gets down and just ping! Ricochets off the front of the vehicle, while this guy in the back goes ahead and pulls a heavy crossbow and aims it over the top of the driver at the guy who just shot and fires it. Minus a d4. That's still going to hit. Actually shoots the guy on the back there. That would be, that's D. He goes ahead and takes... I'm sorry, these are my-- A, B, C, D is how I'm keeping tabs of this.

MARISHA: Oh.

TRAVIS: Deez nuts.

LIAM: It's not Vampire Hunter.

ASHLEY: D, deez gates

MARISHA: Is Deez Nuts with Fuckfork?

TRAVIS: Deez Nuts drew first blood.

MATT: Takes 10 points of piercing damage. (groans) They get shot with a bolt right to the lower chest area and sticks out and (gurgles) gets down low and you can see now is reaching into a bag. So that's going to finish their turn. That brings us to Laudna, with Imogen on deck.

MARISHA: (shouts) I've never felt so alive! All right, I am going to do my bonus action as I say that to unhinge my jaw.

SAM: Oh god.

MARISHA: My eyes go black and you see my mourning veil that starts to drape a shadow over the whole back of our crawler. So it's flapping in the wind and I into my Form of Dread and then--

MATT: She has long, black tendrils of dark material that's somewhat sheer just--

TRAVIS: It's like the monster's mobile.

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: Yeah, it is full Addams Family car now.

MARISHA: Yes, full hell-mobile.

ASHLEY: Oh my god, I love it.

MARISHA: I get my bonus points, hang on.

TRAVIS: ♪ ("Addams Family theme") ♪

MARISHA: I get my 1d10 of temp hit points. That was a little weak, but it's a six, so it's fine.

MATT: Better than nothing.

MARISHA: Oh god, I'm so nervous! Then I'm going to Eldritch Blast the fuckers next to me and behind me.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I'm going to attempt to do a first Eldritch Blast at the driver in the front.

MATT: Right there?

MARISHA: The one up front. That guy.

MATT: Okay, go for it. Go ahead and roll an attack.

TRAVIS: He has half-cover, right?

MATT: He has half cover, yeah.

MARISHA: He does. I have Spell Sniper, though, which ignores 1/2 and 3/4 cover, cover.

MATT: It does, indeed.

TALIESIN: That's how it's done.

MARISHA: That is pretty good. That is 24 to hit.

MATT: That definitely hits.

MARISHA: Right? Yes, eight plus 16, 24 to hit, and then because of my Form of Dread, they have to make a... Wait, charisma? Wisdom?

MATT: Roll damage first. Damage on the first driver.

MARISHA: Oh my god, I'm sorry.

MATT: What'd you roll to hit on the second driver?

MARISHA: I haven't rolled yet. Second driver, that's a six, so plus eight, which is 14.

MATT: 14 misses.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: The second one just ricochets off the front of the vehicle, leaving a dark streak.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: First one takes how much damage?

MARISHA: So the first one takes 12 damage.

MATT: 12 damage, you got it, okay.

MARISHA: They have to make a... Sorry, wisdom saving throw.

MATT: Wisdom saving throw. That is a natural... Well, actually it's minus four, because of Bane, which, yeah, no, that ends up making it a 10.

MARISHA: So he is frightened of me.

MATT: Okay, so he has to try and move away from you--

MARISHA: Correct.

MATT: -- until he saves from it.

SAM: Is he the driver?

MATT: He is the driver.

SAM: Ooh!

MARISHA: Then I still have another Eldritch Blast, so I'm going to try and hit the driver in the back again.

SAM: You're fucking these guys up!

MATT: You got it, yeah.

SAM: Race is over. Go home.

MARISHA: That should be better. That is 17 to hit.

MATT: Wait, sorry, so you hit and then you missed. That's two Eldritch Blasts you already shot.

MARISHA: I have three Eldritch Blasts now, don't I?

SAM: What?!

MATT: I think you only have two until level 11.

MARISHA: Count two, you're right.

MATT: It's all good.

MARISHA: You're right. I have those two, so I'm good. Two beams.

MATT: ♪ That's all good, let me find the frightened one ♪

MARISHA: Beam beam! But that one guy is afraid of me. ♪ ("The Final Countdown") Beam-beam beam beam ♪

LIAM: Beams have beams have beams have beams.

MATT: So this guy is also frightened, good to know.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: Okay, awesome. Damage done.

MARISHA: That's my turn.

MATT: That finishes your go. Imogen, you're up.

LAURA: All right. I'm going to Twinned Spell.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I'm going to look at both the drivers of the cars next to me and say: Y'all should probably brake! And Command them both to hit the brakes.

MARISHA: (snaps)

MATT: Okay, what's the DC on that?

LAURA: It is a wisdom of 15.

MATT: Wisdom of 15, got it.

SAM: Brake.

MARISHA: That's great.

MATT: That is a miss there.

TRAVIS: ♪ 'Cause I'm about to break! ♪

MATT: Then that's going to be an 18 on this guy, so this guy succeeds.

MARISHA: ♪ It's just one of those days! ♪

MATT: But the Paragon's Call on that side fails.

LAURA: Great.

TRAVIS: We went from Disturbed to--

MATT: So I'm just going to mark him for braking when it gets to his turn.

LAURA: Great, and then for my bonus action, I'm going to, is that a goblin next to me on the other side?

MATT: On this side? Yeah.

LAURA: I'm going to use my telekinetic shove and try to push them five feet off the car.

MATT: Okay, what's the DC on this one? Strength save?

LAURA: That is a strength save of, I think 15 as well.

MATT: 15 as well, okay. That is a failure. He gets shoved off the back, and for the purposes of this, I'll say he's holding on, barely, but it's going to take his whole next action to try and get back on there.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: All right, does that finish your turn?

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Okay, now it's their go.

SAM: Oh god.

MATT: So this guy, since they took off sprinting, he gets one movement before--

TRAVIS: Paragon's Call?

MATT: Yeah, before he begins to take the Command that you did and doesn't use his bonus action or anything else to move forward and just slows down, which means he loses two moves. (screeches) He begins to brake and stands there before that ends that Command on this point. That's his go. This person is going to go ahead and--

SAM: Does his friend get, also?

MATT: No, he made the save.

SAM: Oh, okay. No, I mean the other person on the ride.

TALIESIN: I think it was just the guy.

MATT: Well, you Commanded on just two of them, right?

LAURA: Yeah, I Commanded both the drivers, yeah.

MATT: Two, and then, we'll go to three up there.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah, you got an appetite for some action? Let's go!

MATT: So those two drivers are there. Now, the people in the back. The goblin is going to climb back up into it, look back at this side angrily, back at you, (snarls) and just growls, spittle shooting out of its mouth. Its hat flies off, and it's like, "Ah!" And it loses it. (laughter) Whips past your head, vanishing into the dust behind you, but he begins putting his hand into a satchel at his side, glaring at you, but that's his turn. This woman back here, the half-elf that was talking to Fearne earlier, you see grabs two of the handaxes and is going to lean back, seeing that you just cast and caused him to slow down, angrily looks back at you, (whoosh) and is going to lob both of them at an arc, but they throw them forward, away from you.

TRAVIS: Oh fuck yeah. Yeah!

MATT: Then they both arc back with speed towards you rapidly.

TRAVIS: You got to lead them!

ASHLEY: Oh man.

LAURA: I can't react that fast!

MATT: That's going to be a 16 to hit.

LAURA: 16 is my armor class.

MATT: And 20 to hit.

SAM: Oof!

LAURA: Fucking hell.

TALIESIN: Fuck.

LAURA: Am I...

MATT: So both handaxes...

LAURA: Are you still close?

ASHLEY: I'm close.

MATT: In the sides.

ASHLEY: Can I do anything?

TRAVIS: That's some side-mouth shit.

MATT: Okay, so they just took off. I'll say anything within a 60-foot range, or, sorry, a 120-foot range of a spell of yours, anything beyond there, you wouldn't be able to, and you probably can't hit these guys over here. I'd say, probably, because they all just took off. You can affect either of these guys here, if you want to.

ASHLEY: I'll wait 'til everybody's, yeah.

MATT: But you do take 12 points of slashing damage.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: As both these axes shink off you and then tumble into the dust behind you. "Ah," you feel the pain hit your body, and you see them grin as they reach down for the next set of weapons.

LAURA: There's no reason my hit points are at one right now.

MATT: You've taken a short rest before this, so you should definitely be at full. That's going to finish their go. FCG, it's your turn, with Ashton on deck.

SAM: I'm a wheel. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Can you say everything... (mimicking bumpy road) (laughter)

SAM: (mimicking bumpy road) Everything is fine! I'm just going to...

MATT: So you have no movement.

SAM: Yes, I have no movement. I'm just going to use an action. I feel like I can protect us. I feel like we need some protection. So I'm going to focus, and oh boy, I hope we have a good day today. Please protect us! I'll cast Spirit Guardians.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: I would like them to be in the form of turtle shells. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Yes! (laughter)

ERIKA: Yes! (laughter)

SAM: That are going around us.

LAURA: Come on.

MARISHA: Come on, team Dry Bones! Let's go!

MATT: I respect that. Okay. So let's put that at about there, which means it'll affect any vehicle, we'll say, that is either directly adjacent to you right, left, front, or back. It won't hit the diagonals, but it'll definitely hit anyone that's immediately around there, and so you are also concentrating on that. We'll keep tabs on you for the concentration, we'll say.

TALIESIN: Dear god.

MATT: That's awesome. Okay.

SAM: Does it affect any of those, or they would have to ram us?

MATT: This will affect them at the top of the next turn.

SAM: Okay, great.

MATT: If I recall, the effect happens when they enter--

SAM: I'll double check, but yes, keep going.

MATT: Okay, so finishing FCG's go, Ashton, you're up.

TRAVIS: Amazing.

TALIESIN: It's time to motherfucking rage, so let's see what the fuck happens.

MATT: Let's see what you got.

TRAVIS: (growls) Rage!

TALIESIN: Shit, but that's okay.

MATT: (laughs) That's okay.

TALIESIN: Actually--

MATT: Now, for instance, to clarify, because this is not a combat, the rage can last you per section of this race. So right now, this rage will last for The Skids. If you want to do it for any other future section, you have to expend another rage, but you do get to roll again when you do it, but if you're going to be spending rages for the whole race.

TALIESIN: That's okay. This is interesting. I got gravity. So...

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Everything goes a little grayscale just around the front of the bike. This is going to be very strange.

MATT: You watch as all the dust being kicked up by this one in front of the both of you, the rocks flying overhead cling to the sides of the vehicle like they're all being pulled in towards Ashton.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: So that's your bonus action.

TALIESIN: So I'm going to, oh god, can I do that? No, I can't hold movements, but if movement's an attack, can I hold an attack movement?

MATT: I'm sorry?

TALIESIN: No, never mind, won't work.

SAM: If movement's an attack?

TALIESIN: I'm going to spend one movement forward and one movement--

MATT: To ram, you mean?

TALIESIN: Well, yeah, we'll see how ramming works because of the gravity well, but.

MATT: I'll say if you're taking your action as a movement, you can use that to attack, but otherwise, the rest of it's just movement.

TALIESIN: All right, I'm going to move one forward and one diagonally to the right.

MATT: There you go.

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: Now both of these guys are within your, is it 10-foot radius for your gravity?

TALIESIN: It is a 10-foot radius.

MATT: Keep that in mind for next turn.

TALIESIN: 15-foot radius.

MATT: 15-foot radius. That will actually get all three of them, technically.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: All right, good to know. So, for that point, that brings us back to the top. Chetney, you're up.

TRAVIS: Fucking awesome. (laughter) Do I see a bunch of fucking turtle shells?

MATT: Yep, spectral turtle shells.

TALIESIN: Insane.

SAM: Because I was a turtle once. It's my favorite thing. (laughter)

MATT: I love it.

TRAVIS: We're going to lean into this shit. I'm going to try and slam into the left side.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Because that'll extend the Spirit Guardians one row over.

MARISHA: Yes!

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: Okay, so, I'll say, make an attack roll.

TRAVIS: Okay, with, yes. I think I can use slam, plus six. That is 14 to hit.

MATT: 14 to hit?

TRAVIS: Yes.

MATT: Does not, unfortunately, beat its AC, so you slam into the side of it, but it's a very heavily armored vehicle. Sparks go shooting into your face, FCG. But as you slam into it, you look across the way and you see this intense looking man, long, black hair that goes down to his mid-back that's just flowing back from his head. He glances over at you, and his eyes are just wide and crazed, and you see he has this black streak painted over his face that goes down to his neck, and he has no armor on, just an open chest, and he just looks at you, going... (snarls) As you push into the vehicle and he pushes back and pushes you back onto this side, so that is your action with a failed slam, unfortunately.

TRAVIS: Great, bonus action, I will accelerate ahead.

MATT: Okay. One additional space there. All right, that's your action and your bonus action.

TRAVIS: That's it.

MATT: Okay. You have your movement still, but you want to stay there?

TRAVIS: Oh, action is one, movement is second, bonus--

MATT: If you spend it all, you can do three in a turn, but the slam action is an attack, so in theory, you can move, move, and then do one slam.

TRAVIS: Yeah, then I'll try and move in front of them so we're directly in front of them.

LIAM: That gets them back into the turtle zone.

ASHLEY: Yes!

LAURA: Get in the zone!

MATT: ♪ Get in the zone ♪

ALL: ♪ The turtle zone ♪

TALIESIN: They start their movement--

MATT: That's our next sponsor. (laughter) There you go. All right, cool, that finishes your go?

TRAVIS: Yep.

MATT: All right, it is now C and D's go, which is right here. So at the top of the round, what happens to them, with your Spirit Guardians?

SAM: Oh, ah, oh. Sorry, that's me. If they failed their save, they take 3d8 either radiant or necrotic damage.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Depending on whether I'm good or evil.

TRAVIS: 8d8?

SAM: 3d8.

TRAVIS: Oh jesus.

MATT: All right, so he, that's a three on the driver.

SAM: It's a wisdom 14 save.

MATT: Yeah, so that's a failure for him, and I'll say, because it's on you in the front, it'll only affect the driver. It won't affect the guy in the back, which makes sense. Technically.

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: I'll just consider that there, so he fails. He takes 3d8 damage. Go ahead and roll that.

SAM: All right. Five. Eight. Five. Sorry, five-three-five is 13 points of damage, plus he is also slowed, but I don't know if that affects him as a driver.

MATT: Unfortunately, it doesn't affect him as the driver, necessarily, but I will say for the purposes of this, it prevents him from accelerating next turn. Okay. So, because it isn't his movement, but I'll say the effect of the spell prevents him from getting his bonus action accelerate, so.

MARISHA: He's also frightened.

MATT: I know, he's going to try and get the hell away from you.

MARISHA: Just pointing it out.

MATT: So that is the top of their turn. He doesn't get a bonus action, but he is definitely going to move here and then here to just get the hell away from you, and that's all it can do. He doesn't get a third move. About there. Got it. Okay, now mind you, as this is going from round to round, each round is more like a few moments in the middle of this.

SAM: Sure, sure.

MATT: This is long stretches and then quick little skirmishes and then moving and blasting forward, so we're not going to do an entire race, second to second, it's just these sections of time.

SAM: We've moved 30 feet so far!

MATT: Exactly. This is all just cruising as it goes. All right, so with that, he's going to move that way. The driver of the D is going to pull out his carbine rifle over there. With Bane, is going to take a shot at you, Laudna. Since you're the one who's--

LAURA: No!

MATT: -- freaking out his driver on his side.

LAURA: No, Laudna!

MARISHA: Minus a d4.

MATT: With Bane.

LAURA: Duck, Laudna.

MATT: Brings it to a 14.

MARISHA: He just hits.

MATT: Okay, with that, you take a carbine shot up the side there. That is eight points of piercing damage to you as it hits you across the thigh, almost knocks you down for a second. You see as one of the long, hanging tethers of darkness tears away and vanishes into the sky, but that's going to finish up his turn, and then these guys over here on C is going to move one, two, they're going to enter, actually, no, they're going to move this way to try and stay out of the radius of the shells.

TALIESIN: Would they burn a movement, because they're getting out of my gravity well?

MATT: Do they get a save for that?

TALIESIN: No.

MATT: No, they just have...

TALIESIN: Currently, no. I don't know if we talked about changing that.

MATT: If they just start in the radius, their movement's halved?

TALIESIN: They technically are pulled towards me 10 feet.

MATT: Then--

TALIESIN: But if they're moving, I don't know how that'd work on a bike, so.

MATT: Right, well, the bike could be affected by the gravity, so read me what the ability says again.

TALIESIN: "You generate an aura of heavy gravity. All creatures that start their turn within 15 feet of you are pulled up to 10 feet directly toward you and have disadvantage on attacks."

MATT: I see, so, yeah.

TALIESIN: I can kind of control that.

MATT: So what I'll say it does, it reduces, they lose a movement.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: So one, two, and that's as much as they can get, so they're just leaning into the space.

TALIESIN: I have minor control of that.

MATT: Okay, finishing that guy's go on the back, he's going to go ahead, and at this distance, is going to take the heavy crossbow again, and is going to fire at... He's going to fire at Chetney, because Chetney is the driver on that side there.

SAM: We're winning, Chetney!

MATT: That, with a Bane, puts it at-- He rolled a three.

ERIKA: Yeah! (laughter)

MATT: With your half-cover on that, it just ricochets off and vanishes off into the distance. No effect there. Finishing their go, we're back up to Laudna with Imogen on deck.

MARISHA: Okay. Two more Eldritch Blasts to both the drivers again, let's try this again. First one, ooh, that's good. That's a 15, so 23.

MATT: 23 hits.

MARISHA: And that's 10 damage.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: We'll keep that one up on this one.

MATT: On the one that afraid of you?

MARISHA: Uh-huh, yes.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: That's not as good at all. 11 on the other one.

MATT: 11 is a miss.

MARISHA: Misses again, bummer.

LIAM: On which guy was that attack?

MATT: That guy, by the way, he would've tried to--

LIAM: His AC's down, too, if he's slowed. Negative two, right?

MATT: Well, slowed--

SAM: It's not slowed.

MATT: It's not slowed.

SAM: It just has half movement.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: Oh.

MATT: But no, good looking out. So for this instance, you hit him, you do damage. He gets to roll again to see if he's frightened until the end of next turn, right?

MARISHA: This guy, yeah, he just is frightened until, yes, he has to do another wisdom save.

MATT: Natural 20.

TALIESIN: Oh fuck, shit, piss. (laughter)

TRAVIS: The holy trinity.

MARISHA: Damn it.

TALIESIN: Yep.

MARISHA: I will do a sorcery point. I'll drop a sorcery point.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Fuck, shit, piss.

LIAM: Well, yep. You did that.

MARISHA: I want to try and clear the way for our other team. Is this guy--

MATT: Fearne, is there something you wanted to do, by the way? Because I noticed you're holding.

ASHLEY: Yes, but go go go, finish. I can go.

MATT: We'll finish this turn, then we'll go in with what you were doing.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: Is this guy within 30 feet of me? This situation? This one?

LAURA: He looks like he would be.

MATT: I would say he's on the cusp. Yeah, I'd say he's about 30 feet.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: This is an exaggerated space.

MARISHA: I'm going to target the driver, let's see how this goes, and I'm going to cast Infestation at him.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: What?

MARISHA: So I open my mouth, and a bunch of bees fly out of my mouth.

LAURA: Yes!

ERIKA: Full of bees!

MARISHA: I'm full of bees.

LAURA: Hello, bees!

MARISHA: I go: Ah! And they go to that guy.

MATT: Okay, he has to make a constitution saving throw on his point there which, with a natural three, is not going to make it.

LIAM: Wow.

ASHLEY: Yes.

TRAVIS: We're going 60 feet, so they all go (thundering whoosh). (laughter)

ERIKA: Then they gets splattered away-- (laughter)

MARISHA: Fuck! Oh no!

MATT: So they (whoom). These bees arc and they get (exhales) and shunted back in this direction and just spit. He doesn't get-- They don't swarm him. They just (splattering) splatter against his face.

MARISHA: Sorry, bees.

MATT: Like a windshield.

TRAVIS: One's half alive, one's like (ding).

MARISHA: He takes--

MATT: Yep!

MARISHA: He takes six damage, six poison damage.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Then, okay, it takes 1d6 poison damage. I rolled a six. It moves five feet in a random direction. If it can move, its speed is at least five feet and then roll a d4.

TRAVIS: In the swarm of bees that are all splattered?

MARISHA: (giggles) Well, you know.

ERIKA: The guy.

MARISHA: That was the our own flavor, the guy got covered in bees. He had a Nicholas Cage moment. Now he--

LIAM: Cage damage.

MARISHA: -- moves in a random direction. Maybe?

MATT: So all right, roll a d4 for me.

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: Roll for Cage damage.

MARISHA: One.

MATT: One is north which we'll say this is... So he goes and actually gets a little bit ahead on that one.

MARISHA: (groans) Fuck me!

MATT: That's how the dice rolls, but good looking out.

MARISHA: All right, all right.

MATT: All right, that finishes Launda's turn.

SAM: We're losing!

MATT: Imogen, you're up.

LAURA: Okay. I'm going to... I'm going to use my bonus action to look over at the goblin next to me and (whoosh) and try to shove him off the other way this time.

MATT: (laughs) Okay! That is going to be a natural 16 plus--

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: One, so 17.

LAURA: It doesn't work! Then, I'm going to throw my other hand out, and I'm going to-- Oh no, I'm not going to do that because I'm holding onto the reins. Just kidding. I'm going to use my same hand again and I'm going to cast Tasha's Mind Whip at both the drivers of the one next to me and the Paragon's Call drivers. Yeah, and they hear, in their heads, a really loud-ass shriek to hopefully make them fucking swerve.

MATT: You got it, okay. So, what's the save on that, wisdom?

LAURA: Intelligence.

MATT: Intelligence, oh! That is a...

SAM: Yasha's Mind Whip?

LAURA: Yasha's Mind Whip.

MATT: 15 exactly on this one here.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Just rolled a natural, no bonuses. The other one, natural 17, so they both succeeded.

LAURA: All right.

ASHLEY: Strong mind.

MATT: Good rolls on that one.

LAURA: Cool. I do nothing. I hold on.

MATT: Did they take any half-damage or anything or is it just going to hit or miss?

LAURA: You know what, that they might have done something and that's a good idea. I should look. "On a successful save, the target takes half as much damage."

MATT: All right, so roll damage. Just roll once and we'll double.

LAURA: 3d6. (laughs)

LIAM: Whoa.

ASHLEY: Come on.

LIAM: Well, one's in there.

TRAVIS: Say it.

ERIKA: That's a good laugh, right?

LAURA: Five.

MATT: Five. Okay.

SAM: Is that the halved, or--?

LAURA: No! That's five total.

TRAVIS: That's the--

SAM: So it's two?

LAURA: Yes.

TRAVIS: Ugh!

LAURA: Or three if Matt's feeling generous.

ASHLEY: Ugh!

LAURA: Ugh!

MATT: Okay, so as the scream echoes in their brains, they're both like "(groans)," and they swerve a little bit and they (cracks) continue gunning and pushing forward. Looking out, good.

SAM: Oh!

LAURA: Yep, looking good.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Looking good.

MATT: That's your go. It's now their go.

LAURA: It was just a--

MATT: So this goblin in the back--

ASHLEY: Can I try something?

MATT: Oh yeah, now you can try something. What do you want to do?

ASHLEY: Okay, okay. So the Paragon's Call vehicle, I would like to cast Heat Metal to one of the back legs of the vehicle.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Ooh, saucy!

SAM: (Fearne) I would like...

LAURA: Do you have to touch for Heat Metal?

MATT: Yeah, 60-foot range?

ASHLEY: It's a 60-foot range.

LAURA: Sweet!

MATT: Okay, so yeah. So you concentrate and one of the back legs begins to heat up brighter and brighter and brighter. Actually, it's less of a single leg, but the whole back of it begins to brighten up, so keep that in mind.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: Which, it heats up rapidly. The guy in the back immediately takes 2d8 fire damage.

SAM: Nice!

MATT: Go ahead and roll that.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: As you see the satchel on the back of the vehicle immediately ignites and begins to burn. Is like, "Shit!" Is kicking it out and all of a sudden, is like (whimpers). She's having a rough time back there.

ASHLEY: That's not. We got two. And we got a six.

SAM: Nice!

ASHLEY: Eight.

SAM: Eight.

MATT: Eight, not too bad.

LAURA: Oh, and her little feet are tucked into the metal, too, aren't they?

MATT: One of them is and she's lifting it out, yeah, so it's burning her feet. That's where she takes the damage. As it happens, looks back over and glances-- She's just moving out of the range, has no idea it's you because there's too much dust behind out at this point. But there you go. So the Heat Metal is now continued and you can--

ASHLEY: Great.

MATT: We'll say for each--

ASHLEY: I'll try to keep moving with them.

MATT: With them? Okay.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: They are now so far beyond you.

ASHLEY: With the... Oh, they're far? Okay, okay.

MATT: They're like (vrooms), little, from a standpoint, you got the Heat Metal off right as they went. We're timing it out a little differently and they are way ahead of you now, but have Heat Metal on there there, so that let you a few more times to trigger--

ASHLEY: Can I use Cunning Action and dash now? Is this how Cunning Action works? I'm...

MATT: You can, yeah.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: You'll move 30 feet.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay.

TRAVIS: 30 feet! (laughs)

MATT: So you're trying to keep up.

ASHLEY: In addition to my 30 feet?

MATT: Correct.

ASHLEY: Okay, so 60?

MATT: You're also pushing through a crowd and trying to get through.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: So we'll say yeah. At this point, you gather you're probably going to lose them very quickly. You might get another round of visual to-- Another round or two in visual to trigger the Heat Metal.

ASHLEY: Right, okay.

MATT: But then after that--

ASHLEY: Go for it.

MATT: You're going to have to wait for them to come back around at the end of this.

LIAM: It's like chasing cars down the Indy 500.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah! I can make it!

MATT: Good looking out. Okay, so now it's their go. The goblin finishes reaching into the satchel and pulls out this small, iron sphere.

TALIESIN: Oh no.

MATT: That immediately starts sparking on one side and flings it out in the direction to where both Ashton and you are. I need you both to make dexterity saving throws, as well as the vehicle.

TALIESIN: God fucking damn it.

SAM: Ooh. Oh boy.

TALIESIN: This could go real bad.

SAM: Is your gravity pulling it towards you? No, it's not, right?

MATT: Yes, it is.

TALIESIN: It just me, not anything else.

MATT: Right, so you have disadvantage.

MARISHA: Just you, who's on the front of--

TALIESIN: Yeah, so. Yeah, dexterity save.

SAM: And you have a bomb on board.

LAURA: 20.

MATT: 20 is a success. So you only take eight points of fire damage.

LIAM: Roll good.

TALIESIN: Yeah, that's not bad.

LIAM: Just roll good.

TALIESIN: No, I didn't... Nine?

MATT: You take 16 points of fire damage.

TALIESIN: Halved.

MATT: Because of--

TALIESIN: Raging.

MATT: Raging doesn't do half fire damage, though.

TALIESIN: Oh, it's fire damage, okay.

MATT: Yeah, this is the...

LAURA: Eight points of fire damage?

MATT, TALIESIN: Eight points of fire damage.

MATT: As a small bomb explodes in the cockpit of the vehicle drawn towards you. It arcs over and sticks to your chest from the gravity well.

TRAVIS: Fuck!

ERIKA: Oh!

MATT: It detonates in the middle of the vehicle. Flames erupt around it and as the flames immediately pucker out from the explosion, you, Imogen, just manage to guard yourself, and Ashton's sitting there like a Tex Avery cartoon character, a dark soot smear across the face and holding on, wide-eyed. The vehicle also takes...

TALIESIN: Oh, it didn't do a dex.

MATT: Go ahead and roll a dexterity.

TALIESIN: Is it just the dex number or yeah?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah, say it.

TALIESIN: That's a 12.

MATT: 12, that's just what you needed to succeed.

TALIESIN: Okay!

MATT: So it takes eight points fire damage to the vehicle. Mark that.

SAM: Did it?

TRAVIS: Say it.

SAM: Did it?

LAURA: Did it hit the bomb?

ASHLEY: Well, you have to set that, right?

MARISHA: No!

MATT: It was in the bjorn.

TALIESIN: But it hit--

LAURA: No, it's not in the bjorn. It's in front of me.

TALIESIN: It's not in the bjorn. It's behind me.

MATT: Oh, it's in front of you?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

SAM: It's between them.

MATT: You did make your dex save.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: As long as, so now we're talking about the chest bjorn for you holding it.

TALIESIN: It was not there. We moved it while we were talking.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Yeah, that was talked about.

MATT: Then, because you made your dex save, I'll say you saw it happening and protected it. If you had failed your dex save, that would have been a different scenario.

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay.

MATT: But it also reminds you they're also playing with fire, and you're carrying a bomb.

LAURA: Yeah, so maybe we should get rid of the bomb.

MATT: With that, this one's going to cruise forward.

MARISHA: Playing with fire.

TALIESIN: They lose 10 feet cruising forward. They lose one movement moving forward.

MATT: You're right, so they only get there. Good looking out. Okay.

MARISHA: Come on, Ashton.

MATT: The other one.

LAURA: Let's get up next to our friends.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: It's going to cruise over this way.

SAM: Ooh.

MATT: This one with a giant double axe, is going to reach down and pick it up and it's burning the feet, (gasps), and takes a giant swing with the axe towards you, Laura.

LAURA: If she hits me, I'm dead.

LIAM: Yeah, she's bad.

MATT: That's going to be--

SAM: Are you within 30 feet of me?

MATT: 14 to hit.

TALIESIN: Not yet, but--

LAURA: No! I have Mage Armor.

MATT: That's right! So, you look out of the corner of your eye and you see the vehicle cruising in towards you. You see her screaming and swinging this axe and you don't have time to avoid it and you're just waiting for the impending moment, and as it goes to strike you, the arcane shield that you've put around your body shunts it off to the side and she almost loses her balance for a second before catching back on there and then is going to use--

LAURA: She hears in her head: Oh shit! (laughter)

MATT: So that's one.

ERIKA: Was it always like this?

MATT: Moves in there.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah.

MATT: Two.

TRAVIS: This is going pretty good, actually.

MARISHA: Yeah, this is actually pretty great.

LAURA: Also loses 10 feet?

MATT: No, because it didn't start in the radius.

LAURA: Got it.

MATT: So it's going to cruise in that space there. Okay. So that brings it now to FCG and Ashton.

SAM: Oh. FCG and Ashton?

MARISHA: You're FCG first, right?

MATT: FCG and then Ashton.

SAM: Oh boy, I didn't know it was going to come back around so fast. I bluh. I bluh. I can see them. I can see Imogen's hurt, but there's not much I can do. I can give you a Healing Word.

MATT: What's the range on Healing Word?

SAM: 60 feet.

MATT: 60 feet? I'll allow it from there.

TALIESIN: You have--

SAM: Yeah, I'll do a Healing Word on you at 2nd-level.

MARISHA: Nice.

SAM: That's 2d4 plus three. Four.

LAURA: Oh ho ho!

LIAM: That's nice.

SAM: Four!

LAURA: Wah!

SAM: That's 11 points of damage.

MATT: Great.

SAM: Restored.

LAURA: That's great!

LIAM: That's another hit.

SAM: For my action, (inhales) I think I will use-- Sympathetic Binding is not a spell, it's just an effect that happens?

MATT: It's a Channel Divinity, yes.

SAM: So I can just do that?

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: As an action.

SAM: I'll use that as an action and I'll Sympathetic-- I can only do within 30 feet, so I'll Sympathetically Bind to Loud-na.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Also Chetney, the driver.

MATT: Okay, so you Sympathic Bond with both of them.

SAM: Yes.

MATT: All right, great. So they're connected on that point. I will also note, I'll allow it for this point being for the Healing Word, but you are also welded in your chest, so you have limited vision because you can't really turn.

SAM: I assumed my head could spin all the way around, but maybe that's not true.

MATT: I'll say--

SAM: But even then--

MATT: No.

SAM: -- it would be blocked.

MATT: What I'm saying, if anyone is too far behind you, if they were positioned here.

SAM: Can't see them.

MATT: You can't see anyone. So you have visibility of barely here.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: In that space.

SAM: Okay. It's good to know.

MATT: But yeah, that's good. That finishes your go.

SAM: For my movement, I'll just go (yelps)!

MATT: That's valid. Ashton, you're up.

LAURA: Just jazz hands.

TALIESIN: I'm going to... (laughter) I'm going to move forward. Move forward, I'm going to get, see-- How far forward can I pull?

MATT: You can go, one, two, three.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: That'll do it?

LAURA: I mean, yeah.

SAM: Like an airplane.

MATT: That'll put you there.

SAM: Yeah, we're doing that.

TALIESIN: Do you think that'll work for-- Are we too far away for plan B, or no?

LAURA: It might be too far away for that, but I can try other things and save that.

TALIESIN: Okay, yeah, because I'm worried about, yeah.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: All right. That's your go. All right.

TALIESIN: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm good.

MATT: Okay, so finishing that go. Vehicles are racing around, curving around a big bend. You watch as the people are screaming in the streets and people are throwing ribbons and streamers. People are throwing rocks and things to just fuck with the view you have.

TALIESIN: I'm dropping Gravity, too, sorry.

MATT: Okay, so you're dropping the rage through gravity? Okay, so (exhales) that thing goes away. You now see a big hairpin turn that's now careening through one of the major Skids neighborhoods. It looks very, very intense. I need all the drivers to make a dexterity check for me, just roll a d20, add your dexterity modifier.

LAURA: Do the passengers--

SAM: Can my wheel take this?

LAURA: Do the passengers have to make a save to not fall?

MATT: Well, it depends on what they roll.

LAURA: Oh god.

MATT: So we'll see.

TALIESIN: 22.

MATT: 22, all right. You are fine.

TRAVIS: Natural 20!

MATT: Natural 20, you are fine.

TALIESIN: I used the gravity drop to make that fucking pin.

LIAM: What an ace!

LAURA: Yeah! That's awesome.

TRAVIS: Buck Fucket makes its own gravity!

MATT: Success, fail.

MARISHA: Full of some cheese!

MATT: Oh shit, okay. So that is going to be.

TRAVIS: Buck.

LAURA: Buck?

TALIESIN: Buck.

ASHLEY: Buck.

LAURA: Bucket, Buck Fucket.

TRAVIS: Yeah, fuck bucket.

ASHLEY: Buck Fucket.

MATT: Okay. So you watch as everyone's turning around careening, some of them end up colliding and one of them hits the side of a building, and in doing so, they lose a little bit of ground. So this one gets sent back one. This one gets set back one. And this one gets set back one.

ASHLEY, MARISHA, LAURA: Yes!

ASHLEY: This is good.

MATT: Right as you all come skirting around the center, you notice that there is a bystander in the road who is just walking down the road not paying attention and turns, and just in a split second, you glance and see it looks to be an old woman who is carrying a bag of fruit who goes-- (screams)

LAURA: Why?

SAM: I love it!

LAURA: What is she doing?

MATT: So one, two, three, four, five, six. We'll see whose lane she's in.

LAURA: No!

MATT: Six, those guys there. (groaning) They try and maneuver.

TRAVIS: Come on, Trude!

MARISHA: Who are we cheering for? The old-- I don't know who we're cheering for.

MATT: They fail their dexterity check!

LAURA: No!

MATT: Wham! Slam right into her! She goes (screams) Flies into the audience and they lose two ground. (yelling) Knocked back twice on that one.

MARISHA: Oh, the sacrifice we see.

LIAM: She's gone, she's done.

MATT: She's-- Who knows? You didn't see her.

LAURA: No!

MATT: Keep moving!

LIAM: I hit Kynan in the back of the head and his face fell off! (laughter) She's gone!

ASHLEY: Her head fell off!

MATT: I'm sure she's fine.

MARISHA: Fucking up the elderly since 2015.

LAURA: Oh, she's fine, she's fine. Somebody caught her.

MATT: She went limp into it. It was fine.

ERIKA: The kids always--

TALIESIN: Unless you see a body, they're fine. Unless you see a body, they're going to come back.

TRAVIS: We're doing good.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: All right. This is going to be the last round of The Skids as we're now cruising into the final part of the Skid neighborhood and begin heading towards the top of the ravine. At the top of the round, Chetney, you're up. I am up.

MARISHA: Are you guys coming up?

LIAM: The start of the ravines, we found an outcropping.

MARISHA: So coming up, all right.

MATT: So you guys are coming up here shortly.

TRAVIS: Yeah, so I'm going to use-- I am going to actually decelerate.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: I'm going to move at a left, southern diagonal, so I slide in behind Imogen and Ashton.

MARISHA: Smokey and the Bandit action, let's go.

TRAVIS: Then, I'm going to accelerate to the left to put us between Ashton and the other one and put both people in our ♪ ring of turtles. ♪

MATT: You got it.

ASHLEY: Nice.

TALIESIN: Nice!

MATT: That's the way to do it.

MARISHA: Entrap them.

MATT: (sputters)

TRAVIS: With my action, since that was my movement and my bonus action, I'm going to cast Invisibility.

TALIESIN: Ooh!

SAM: On you?

LIAM: Make him hard to hit.

MATT: Okay, you vanish.

TRAVIS: That, nobody's driving.

SAM: Knight Rider!

TRAVIS: Nobody's driving! (laughter)

ERIKA: Ghostride the whip!

TRAVIS: (racing noises)

MARISHA: Then we got the-- This is perfect. This is a vibe. This is everything I wanted in life.

MATT: I love it, that's great.

TRAVIS: No, Dave. Wait, that's something different.

MATT: Does that finish your turn?

SAM: I don't recommend this.

TRAVIS: Yes.

MATT: Okay. So finishing your turn, the C is going to try and catch up. One, two, three, gain some ground on that one. Then, marked as--

ERIKA: So do you have--

MATT: Up front here. First, I need to go ahead. Saving throw. Fails, go ahead and roll 3d8 damage to the person in the back of the vehicle in front of you.

SAM: Amazing rolls. Eight, seven, and seven.

ALL: Whoa!

SAM: So that's 23, right?

MARISHA: Holy shit.

SAM: No, wait. 14 plus eight is 22.

MATT: 22. The person in the back gets clocked by one of the spectral turtles. You see them clutch the back of their head and they look back over like (groans). They pull their hands back and the back of their head is just bloody. They don't even know how bad it is. They don't look at their hands, but they're looking real rough.

SAM: Oh wow.

MARISHA: Blue shells.

MATT: With that, at that point, they're going to reach into a bag at the front and pulls something out that's a tangled mass of metal and goes (grunts) and throws it over their shoulder. As they do, you watch it (material inflates), open up. It is a wire net of some kind that (airy impact), completely encompasses--

LAURA: (gasp)

MATT: -- the vehicle that you guys are on. You can see now, as it goes over, it blocks part of your view. It gets tangled in the feet, and now you see the vehicle like (sputters) sputtering and grinding-- (gasping) -- as you, (laughs) FCG, are just like (yells). (laughter) It's pulling and tangling and pulling apart.

TRAVIS: Holy shit.

MARISHA: Wait, was that his action? Did he have to make a roll or anything for that?

MATT: No, he just throws it behind. You need to make a dexterity saving throw for the vehicle.

LAURA: Oh my gosh.

MATT: To see if you can avoid it. It is a minus one to its dexterity for the vehicle towards it.

TRAVIS: Toward the vehicle. Uh, seven. (gasping)

MATT: So no, it does find purchase on the vehicle and you currently have a wire net attached to it.

TRAVIS: Is it made of rope wire, like metal wire?

MATT: Yeah, metal chain links behind it and it's grinding and tugging up into stuff. While it's on, you cannot... You get one move a turn.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: You don't get the bonus action against it. You don't get your action. You can only move with it, and the longer it's on there, it takes more damage as it's grinding it and caught up in the machinery of the beast.

TRAVIS: Does it deal any damage on this first throw on it landing?

MATT: No.

TRAVIS: But additionals?

MATT: Yes.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: At the top of the driver's turn is when it kicks in.

TRAVIS: Woo hoo hoo!

MATT: With that, he's going to pull forward. (heavy footsteps) There we go. Oh no, he fell off. That's okay.

SAM: Oh, they're winning. We're not in the lead any more!

TALIESIN: Is that including the double speed to get out of the turtle net, or?

MATT: Oh, that's right, because it only gets two speed.

SAM: Well, it's...

MATT: Well that wasn't the driver that got it, actually.

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: Technically.

SAM: The driver gets half speed.

MATT: Yeah, the driver was not in the radius there but you hit-- the driver behind you will, probably. All right, so that finishes their go. With that, that brings us to-- D is removed. That finishes their turn. Laudna then Imogen.

MARISHA: Oh my god, I am not prepared for what just happened.

TRAVIS: Wire nets this stuff.

SAM: Anything can happen in pod racing.

TRAVIS: Wire nets.

MARISHA: Shit, I don't know what I can do to help that. So it's wire. Is it over us completely?

MATT: It's over most everyone. I would say it's mostly the front of the vehicle and Chetney. You're not in the net necessarily, but the net is now pressed against and it's grinding and sparks are shooting out and you can see the machinery starting to get tangled up in it, and it's going to do damage continuously the longer it's stuck.

MARISHA: Shit.

MATT: You can try to physically pull it off.

MARISHA: Fuck, I guess so. This is not going to go well. I can already feel it. I'm going to crawl, I guess, over Chet to the front and see if I can throw it off?

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Would that be?

MATT: That would be strength check.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we got to, we got to check that box before we totally get off this thing entirely. I know FCG's in the front.

MARISHA: It's a strength check, which is not what I do in the slightest.

LIAM: If she's in the negative.

TRAVIS: There's always a chance.

LIAM: Come on. Just roll.

TRAVIS: Everyone has a moment.

MARISHA: I'm trying to think if I have something creative here, but not really. Oh my god! (laughing ugh)

SAM: Just give me a natural 20, I'll can sense it.

MARISHA: Okay, this is going to be a natural 20.

SAM: Yeah, easily.

MARISHA: I will use the rhinestones.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

MARISHA: Oh, well? No, it's no, that was bad. (laughter) I thought it was higher than it was. It's not.

SAM: She thought it was a 21! (laughter)

MARISHA: I thought it was an 18! No, nine.

MATT: Nine. You pull (grunts) and it tangles in even further and you let go.

MARISHA: (yells)

MATT: You have to grab ahold to not accidentally stumble off the vehicle and you slowly move back to your perch and that's going to be your action.

SAM: I can try.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Fuck! No, I can't do it! That's it. That's my action, right?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Eat the net! FCG, eat the net. (laughter)

SAM: (gnaws) (laughter)

LAURA: Oh my god.

MATT: Unless you got a bonus action?

MARISHA: Well, I can do another. I can burn a sorcery point, right?

MATT: That's true, if you have a spell you want to do.

MARISHA: (yells) I'm mad, so I'm going to burn a sorcery point and I turn around to the fuckers behind me and I'm going to try something else new. I'm going to experiment, and I'm going to wrap my hands around the front of their metal spikes on the front.

MATT: You're going to try and grab the front of the vehicle behind you?

MARISHA: Well, they're in my asshole, so I figured they might be grappleable.

MATT: Okay, sure, sure.

MARISHA: Are they not grappleable?

MATT: Narratively, let's go for it. What are you going to do?

TRAVIS: "They're in my asshole."

SAM: What are you doing, jumping over to that?

MARISHA: I am turning around, and I'm going to grab and I'm going to try and do Shocking Grasp.

MATT: Okay, so you're trying to grab the vehicle.

MARISHA: Yes, Shocking Grasp.

MATT: All right so it's against the AC of the vehicle. Go for it. So roll your spell attack modifier, against their skirmisher-crawler.

MARISHA: (whispers) Shit.

MATT: It is right behind you, so I'll allow it.

MARISHA: 19.

MATT: 19 hits!

SAM: Oh wow, that's good.

LAURA: That's good.

MATT: Yeah!

MARISHA: (scoffs) For five damage.

MATT: Five points of damage.

MARISHA: Oh, I do have advantage on the attack roll if the target is wearing armor made of metal?

MATT: Yes, very much so.

MARISHA: Let's just see if it's a natural 20? Nope.

MATT: Nope, but hey, worth good looking out.

MARISHA: Okay.

TALIESIN: There's people touching it.

MARISHA: It can't take reactions until the start of its next turn and it was lightning damage.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Whatever that means for that.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Do I notice if it did anything special because it's lightning damage?

MATT: I mean it certainly like (electricity sparking) arcs through it, that you notice.

MARISHA: Looks cool.

MATT: It looks pretty rad. As you then release and pull back and grab onto the side, your hair flowing back, your veils still trailing in front of you and you can see the driver behind, like "(nervous whimpers)." It's definitely making an impact.

MARISHA: (grunts)

MATT: Okay, cool. That finish your turn?

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: All right, so now it's their go.

LAURA: Wait, I haven't gone.

MATT: That's right! No, you're up next. I'm sorry.

LAURA: That's okay.

MATT: And then they go.

LAURA: Can I get an idea of how much that chainness would weigh?

MATT: It looks like it weighs a fair amount. Like it's meant to be weighed down and grapple stuff.

LAURA: It's very heavy. Yeah, that makes sense.

MATT: The way he threw it was like a "(grunts)" and then a release over the shoulder and it unfurled as he threw it.

LAURA: Okay. I have nothing that can help them, then. Okay. I'm going to save my spell for when Ashton moves. I'm going to save my spell for when Ashton moves.

MATT: Okay, so you're holding until Ashton's go?

LAURA: I'm holding, yes.

MATT: Okay, what are you holding?

LAURA: A spell, but can I use my bonus action before that?

MATT: Yeah, if you want to.

LAURA: Or do I need to save everything?

MATT: You can do that. It's the bonus action, then you begin to hold your spell.

LAURA: Okay, then I'm going to (laughs) bonus action. Try to push this guy out the back. (laughter) I'm just constantly going to try to shove him out.

MATT: The guy up there?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: What's the range on your shove?

ASHLEY: Come on.

LAURA: It is... (high pitched) Telekinetic Shove, hold on. I just can't find it! (frustrated gasp) Cool, it's-- no, wait, hold on. It's got to be here somewhere. 30 feet?

MATT: 30 feet? Ah, he's technically two spots away. I'll allow it. Because it's fun. Try and shove.

LAURA: (grunts)

MATT: Natural 19, I'm sorry.

TALIESIN: Even with an emergency d4 to see if you can drop that? No, it wouldn't drop.

MATT: No, he has Bane. It does have a Bane still.

TALIESIN: There is Bane.

MATT: That lowers it to 18.

LAURA: Yeah, okay, okay, okay.

MATT: Good try.

LAURA: (sustained) Oh!

MATT: So, what spell are you holding? What spell are you holding for Ashton's go?

LAURA: ♪ I was going to hold Lightning Bolt ♪

MATT: Got it, okay. So as you're holding onto that-- It's just for the acknowledgement of what spell may be lost if it doesn't go off, but so you're holding that and waiting for the moment for it to go. Finishing your turn, it is now these guys' turn. This one here, knowing that you are on... Actually, hmm.

MARISHA: I think the only other thing would be if Fearne can do--

MATT: Is going to move one...

ASHLEY: I have the telekinesis ring.

MATT: Two...

ASHLEY: (whispering) I could move the platform out.

MATT: Then three up the side there.

TALIESIN: God fucking damn it.

MATT: That's going to be... It's going that one, the one in the back is going to you're the one who's--

LAURA: Trying to do stuff.

MATT: -- looking back and forth and trying to do some shit.

LAURA: But really not (laughs) doing anything.

MATT: It's going to try to attack you now with the axe as it tries to swing onto the side. That is a natural four plus...

LIAM: Your miniature for sure looks the best on the back.

MARISHA: Yeah, 100%.

MATT: It's a nine to hit.

LAURA: Yay!

MATT: So swings wide, no impact. She's going to get that off. She's going to get that off at some point. So that's going to finish their go. This one is going to up to the edge here, then pull ahead and then pull ahead there to gain some ground. All right. Finishing their go, FCG and then Ashton.

SAM: I'm going to do the only thing I can do, which is I'm going to hot swap if I can, to my saw blade. which is I'm going to hot swap if I can, to my saw blade.

MATT: Okay.

ERIKA: ♪ Hot swap it ♪

SAM: And try to cut through the net.

MATT: The net, okay. All right, so you swap into the buzz saw blade. (whirrs) It spins up. Go ahead and roll an attack for me.

SAM: An attack?

MATT: Yes.

SAM: 14 plus saw blade.

MATT: Yep, without issue, you begin to carve into it, roll damage to see how much damage you deal to the wire net.

SAM: Oh, it's so bad. One d6 plus one, jesus. Oh, it's a six! Plus one. Seven points of damage!

MATT: Seven points damage. (saw whirring) Sparks shooting, parts of the net begin to cut cross. You're starting to do some damage to it. It's not enough to destroy the net, but it's starting to show some damage, and some wear and tear.

SAM: Okay, okay. Then bonus action, I will... Without seeing him, I know he's within 30 feet of me. I will... I will, boop ba-da-boop-boop, boop boop. Where is it? Features and traits. Because I am bound to... I want to say Grog, but his name is Chetney. (laughter)

TRAVIS: You know you've got your favorites.

SAM: I'm going to give him a bonded blessing, which is just Guidance.

MATT: Okay, so you have, well it's a d6 I think, right?

SAM: Oh, oh, it is a d6 Guidance. Yeah, you're right.

MATT: He can spend when he wants to.

SAM: It's like an inspiration.

TRAVIS: Oh sweet!

SAM: It's like a d6 inspiration dice.

TRAVIS: Fucking amazing.

MATT: All right, cool, great. That finish your go, FCG?

SAM: Yep.

MATT: Ashton, you're up.

TALIESIN: I'm going to pull right behind these motherfuckers right over there.

MATT: Here?

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: Okay, so that's one, two.

TALIESIN: Are we in a new set zone yet, or?

MATT: This is the final round before you start moving into the ravine.

TALIESIN: Okay, and yeah, I can't do anything about fucking them. Do I have room to... Well, I'll let you go up before.

LAURA: Should we sync it up? Let's do it at the same time?

TALIESIN: Let's fucking sync it up. Let's see if we can just do the (explosion).

LAURA: All right, right as he tries to bash, I'm going to let go of the lightning.

MATT: So you're going to slam into the vehicle in front?

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: Okay, roll an attack.

TALIESIN: Mm-hm! Where's the attack for this? There it is, slam attack, plus six to hit. That's bullshit!

LAURA: Maybe my lightning bolt will help, if I'm also hitting them. (laughs)

TALIESIN: Oh, wait, one target. Oh, it's hits.

MATT: You're slamming their vehicle is how it works.

TALIESIN: Okay, because summary here says, plus six to hit or 15 to hit.

MATT: 15 is the damage. When you get into the other vehicle.

TALIESIN: So, ten to hit.

MATT: Ten to hit. Unfortunately, no, you go and slam into it, but you glide off the back armor and it slips off of the side of bit, like it's been pushed away like a cow catcher in the front of a train. But as he pushes forward, you look back and see the opportunity to release the lightning bolt. Which direction are you shooting it?

LAURA: I want to go straight through to try to hit the driver.

MATT: Right there?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: You got it. So leaning forward, that's a dexterity saving throw for everyone, including the vehicle there. That is going to be a 13. A natural one. Oh, and they have penalties on this because of Bane. Yeah, no fail, fail, fail. And the vehicle's a fail. That's damage to all three of them. (cheering) Lightning Bolt, roll your 8d6 damage. (sparking)

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay, okay.

LIAM: Want some damage, here we go.

TALIESIN: Yeah, hurt him.

MATT: You watch as this bolt of purple lightning energy arcs off of her hand, arcs over Ashton, slams into the ground and then (electricity sparking) carves up and up into the air before it dissipates into the sky.

LIAM: Crotch.

ASHLEY: Ooh!

LAURA: Whoa, that's good! So 12. 22. 27.

LIAM: We're already above average.

LAURA: 31.

MARISHA: (laughs)

LAURA: 34.

LIAM: Way above average.

LAURA: 37.

MATT: 37, how do you want to do this? (cheering)

ASHLEY: Yes!

SAM: What does that mean? To what, to a vehicle?

LAURA: To what?

MATT: To both of them and the vehicle. Just describe to me how you damage everything there.

LAURA: My eyes flash white and a lighting bolt arcs from my hand.

MATT: (sparking)

LAURA: Straight. I want it to go straight through this guy's chest, down into his chest and then out the front of the vehicle here. (oohing)

MATT: You got it, all right.

ASHLEY: Cool!

TALIESIN: Woo!

TRAVIS: (sparking)

LAURA: (sparking)

MATT: Okay, so I need you to roll a d8 for me.

LAURA: Uh-oh.

TRAVIS: That's very Raiders Of The Lost Ark.

TALIESIN: Oh, I think I know why you're doing that.

TRAVIS: "Close your eyes, man."

LAURA: Four?

MATT: Four. One, two, three, four. It careens off this way. As the vehicle (exploding) explodes and detonates. Both of them are immediately destroyed, as the vehicle turns up and just detonates entirely. In doing so, it blows up in the face of the other vehicle and the driver now has to make a dexterity saving throw for that vehicle.

TRAVIS: Oh, ho ho ho, shit!

MATT: It does succeed with a 14.

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay, okay.

MATT: So it manages to just maneuver slightly out of it, right through the flames as it explodes, and you see the other skirmisher-crawler just emerge from it.

TRAVIS: I can't believe they survived the crash!

MATT: And get back on the vehicle. (laughter)

LAURA: Does that mean you get any more movement or since you tried to attack?

TALIESIN: Since I tried to attack, no more movement.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: So that finishes yours, that was awesome.

TALIESIN: That was pretty fucking awesome.

ASHLEY: Am I still within range, probably not?

MATT: You would have the ability to do one more Heat Metal, if you'd like to.

ASHLEY: Okay, yeah!

MATT: All right, Heat Metal is over here. So that's another, roll damage on that one.

ASHLEY: I don't also have an action, right? Something else I can do? Am I milking it now?

MATT: If you're booking it the other way, or you're staying put, you barely see them. I'd say at this point, you're just focusing on the Heat Metal spell.

ASHLEY: Okay, that's fine.

SAM: Is she rolling to hit or for damage?

MATT: For damage, just damage.

ASHLEY: Just damage. (grunts)

MATT, LAURA: (laugh)

ASHLEY: Fuck off. (laughter) Four.

MATT: Four points damage, all right. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Every little bit counts!

MATT: It's true.

LAURA: Her foot is on fire.

ASHLEY: It's really...

MATT: (grunts) It's starting to like, you know, you hear yelling shriek on the space nearby. None of you know why. But you feel in your heart somewhere that you're hurting her.

ASHLEY: It worked for sure. I'm going to turn around and start booking it the other way.

MATT: The other direction? So like...

ASHLEY: Back to where there'll be...

MATT: Gotcha, back to where the finish line is going to be?

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: Okay, got it, cool. As you all turn out of the final section of the The Skids and exit the exterior, you can see where the edge, as the road begins to curl upward on this hill and almost looks like you're about to drive off into nowhere. As you come up over the side, right as you turn over the crest of the hill, you look down, and there are spiked barricades that have been set up to block almost the entire road, except for one little center point there.

TRAVIS: Oh, amazing! Check point?

MATT: I need all the drivers to make a dexterity saving throw for me, as you're trying to move through. You're trying to find the one gap between the barriers and scoot through.

TALIESIN: Dexterity saving throw.

LAURA: Dexterity, dexterity.

MATT: Correct.

TRAVIS: From the car's stats or ours?

MATT: From, as the drivers, I'd say this would be yours.

TALIESIN: Oh, our dexterity.

MATT: Your dexterity.

TRAVIS: 15.

TALIESIN: That's better.

MATT: 15 just barely succeeds!

TRAVIS: Oof.

TALIESIN: 16.

MATT: Barely succeeds. You guys both managed to squeeze through. The three other vehicles? Fail over here.

LAURA: Oh!

MATT: (laughs) Fail over here. And fail over here, wow. They rolled this one--

ERIKA: There might not be a third vehicle for us. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Good luck. So they all take five points of piercing damage across the road.

SAM: But they just barrel through it?

MATT: No. As it smashes through them, they all also lose a little bit of ground.

ASHLEY: Nice, nice, nice, nice, nice.

MATT: Okay. So at that point, as you smash the barricades, you see where the road itself begins to be surrounded by these large rocky outcroppings. The natural topography begins to shift in the edge of the ravine and the rocky cliff side. The road seems to turn and head downward off the side and as you all begin to follow that space, you now see the precarious switchback road that's maybe about 30 feet across before it just tumbles down into the next level and the next level or into the 150, 200 feet fall to the base of the ravine.

TRAVIS: Cool, cool.

MATT: It looks like it switch backs two or three times.

LAURA: So that fear of heights thing is really paying off right now?

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: Solid.

TRAVIS: These are the roads that lead to Dracula's castle, and you're like, this is really upsetting.

MATT: Where in the ravine have you two set up?

LAURA: Yes.

LIAM: So Orym led them to a spot that had a high lookout point with a bit of space up top so we could see down to when one of them would come and slow on a switchback.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: As soon as I see one coming, I'll turn to Dusk and say: One, two, punch. I'll see you on the bike. Orym's in a sprinter pose, and as soon as one is within what he deems range, he just takes off and runs 10 feet to the edge, and poof, flying 20 feet through the air, aiming at an enemy bike as it comes by.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: That's what I'm doing.

MATT: Okay. Okay, got it. So we'll say that will bring you into the second round--

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: -- of this one. The first round is them getting onto the switchback path and then the first slow turn as they come around will be the second round.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: So I will have you both roll initiative on this one. Are you sitting within the same space?

ERIKA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: 12.

ERIKA: Seven.

MATT: 12 for you. I believe you and FCG are going--

MARISHA: Little pole positioned. What a riveting game that was.

MATT: Then we have Dusk at the rear.

SAM: Excitebike.

MARISHA: Excitebike.

TALIESIN: Love Excitebike. Not even a joke.

SAM: That's great.

TALIESIN: It's a classic.

ERIKA: Oh my god. Excitebike.

MARISHA: Paperboy.

MATT: All right. Top of the ravine portion of this race, First things first, that net is grinding into the middle of this.

SAM: (groans)

MATT: So the vehicle takes--

TALIESIN: Oh shit.

SAM: I am the vehicle.

MATT: The vehicle takes 18 points of slashing damage to the inside of it.

MARISHA: Wow.

TRAVIS: Slashing.

MATT: That gets more and more each turn that it lasts on it.

ERIKA: 18?

SAM: Do I take any of that?

TRAVIS: It has resistance to bludgeoning, slashing, piercing and fire. So that should only be nine?

MATT: No, this actually can bypass that, because it's the inside of its mechanisms.

TALIESIN: Oh.

TRAVIS: Got it, got it. Got it, got it.

MATT: Armor does not help it.

TALIESIN: Would that fire damage have been halved that the bike took, since it's resistant to fire?

MATT: It would've, yeah.

TALIESIN: Okay. I'm just going to do that, if that's okay.

TRAVIS: Net equals lower HP.

MARISHA: Net.

LAURA: What happened? Fire, what guy?

TALIESIN: Oh, the bomb did damage to the car, but it should've been halved.

MATT: Because the vehicle takes half damage to fire.

LAURA: Oh.

TRAVIS: Cool.

MATT: All righty.

TRAVIS: My turn.

MATT: Yes.

TRAVIS: Okay. Let's get crazy, because unless we get that net off, this is all fucking bupkis anyway.

SAM: Hit reverse!

TRAVIS: (laughs) Yeah, I know. Oh! No. (laughter) That's actually a pretty decent idea. I'm going to use the-- Because it's reduced to one move per turn, right?

MATT: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: So I'll use the movement speed to advance.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Advance.

TRAVIS: After I hit the accelerator, I'm going to stand up and I'm going to use my bonus action to turn into a motherfucking werewolf.

MATT: All righty. I love it. I love it.

TRAVIS: An invisible werewolf.

LIAM: This is a velvet painting.

LAURA: It's invisible. (laughter)

MARISHA: Put it on your black Caddy.

TRAVIS: I'm like the angel at the front of a Rolls Royce, just howling to the wind and grab the net, and I'm going to try and rip what I can from the damaged net that FCG is trying to buzz saw.

ASHLEY: Let's go.

MATT: You've got it. Go for it.

TRAVIS: (howls)

MATT: As you howl on the front of this bike, you reach over and grab the net, go ahead and make a strength check to go ahead and move it off. You have an advantage, because you're in your wolf form, if I recall.

SAM: I'm going to just hold my hands up like this. (laughter) To help with the net.

LIAM: You've got a dead witch on the back, pale blue Wonder Woman's jet, werewolf on the top.

ASHLEY: Oh, I love it so much.

ERIKA: Surrounded by turtle shells.

TRAVIS: I'm going to use the--

SAM: You have a plus d6.

TRAVIS: That's a 22.

SAM: Ooh.

MATT: 22. You reach down and grab the net, and as you pull, you feel the metal stretch and tug, and you hear ting, ting, ting.

LAURA: Yes!

MATT: It goes tearing off, flying off back and just vanishes into the distance behind you.

ASHLEY: (yells)

MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: (deeply) Let's ride. (laughter)

SAM: Satan, take the wheel.

MARISHA: The robot, the witch, and the werewolf. Let's go!

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

MATT: Perfect.

TRAVIS: ♪ (hard rock music) ♪ (laughter)

MATT: I love it. All right, so. (laughter) As all the vehicles are spinning down, because now we come back, this technically would have been at the top of the round, as you guys all head down the ravine. The road here is a little shaky. The rocks that are across it are skidding as you turn to spin. I need all drivers to make another dexterity saving throw for me.

SAM: Please watch the potholes.

MATT: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, this is a perception check, to see if you can avoid where the shaky ground is.

TALIESIN: Oh shit, that sounds good.

LAURA: Oh shit.

TRAVIS: 13.

TALIESIN: 10.

MATT: 10, okay. Both of those are not deep fails, but you do manage to hit some of the terrain, which does cause you to lose one ground each. So you're both going to skid back.

TRAVIS: Oh, FCG, watch out!

SAM: Oh, ow. (groans) (laughter)

MATT: All the rest of them, fail. Fail. Wow, nobody saw this coming. Fail! Okay, well, everyone--

LAURA: At least we all failed.

MATT: -- shifts back.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: So it evens out in the end there for that, but as everyone slows and skids, and begins to head down the ravine, Laudna, you're up, with Imogen on deck.

MARISHA: Ha, ha. So okay, we're on the edge of the ravine. You guys haven't gone yet, right?

MATT: Actually, these guys have to go, too, I forgot. So they go ahead and move. Actually, it's just this guy. So I'm going to go ahead and move one. The guy in the back's going to throw a bomb into the next vehicle, and they have to try and make dex saves.

LAURA: They still got more bombs.

MATT: Fail.

LAURA: We've still got more bombs.

MATT: Fail.

LAURA: We have more bombs.

MATT: Fail.

TRAVIS: We are Sex Bob-omb!

LIAM: One, two, three, four!

LAURA and MARISHA: ♪ (drumset playing) ♪

MATT: I guess that's 12.

TALIESIN: Ah!

LAURA: ♪ Hello again ♪

TRAVIS: Never a bad thing.

LAURA: ♪ Friend of a friend ♪

MATT: ♪ A friend ♪ ♪ I knew you when ♪ I love that movie so much. All right. Except for the end. Anyway. So yeah, the bomb explodes in the middle there. You see them holding on, and she's still there. You see the flames burn off, the half-elf woman sitting there, still holding her axe angrily. They're going to use the second movement and move forward there. Then, that's going to finish their go. Now Laudna with Imogen, sorry.

MARISHA: Oh, hey. So we're all on a cliff side, a precarious cliff side situation?

MATT: Correct. On this side, I would say, right now, is just a drop cliff at that point.

MARISHA: Got it.

TALIESIN: Good to know.

MARISHA: Got it. I'm going to take my stick of dynamite.

SAM: Hey, we got those!

MARISHA: Do a little quick light up, a little Prestidigitation flame and see if I can chuck it in the spokes. I'm going aim it forward, but I'm going to aim for these guys, and see if I can blow them off the edge of the cliff.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I would love it if we could work together right now, but if we do something at the same time, but I don't know. We would have had to talk about that before.

MARISHA: Hold the action type of thing?

LAURA: It's fine.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: It's going to be great.

MATT: Well, so go ahead and roll either a--

MARISHA: Where you could Telekinesis it? Is that what you were thinking?

LAURA: It's fine. Go, do your thing.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: So you you ignite it and chuck it forward. Go ahead and roll a dexterity or strength check, just to make sure you can aim it the best you can.

MARISHA: Yeah, it'll be a dex check.

MATT: All right. Roll and add your dex modifier.

MARISHA: Don't fuck me, Gil. Oh, yeah! Thanks, Gil. 19 total.

MATT: Okay. So you throw it as hard as you can, precisely at an angle where you gather where the speed you're traveling will cause it to arc, and then hit right back into here, and you watch as it sticks in the front of its spiky wind grill there.

MARISHA: Wheel hub. Uh-huh.

MATT: (sizzling) The person driving it is like, "Shit, shit," and reaches over to try and grab it before it explodes in the middle. I need you to roll your dynamite damage.

MARISHA: What is the dynamite damage?

ERIKA: Whoa.

MARISHA: What do we do with dynamite?

ASHLEY: I'll write it down.

TRAVIS: I have it. It's...

MATT: I think it's 3d6.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: 3d6!

MARISHA: That's great!

ASHLEY: Wow.

MARISHA: This is very mediocre.

TRAVIS: They make a DC 12 dexterity saving throw.

MARISHA: Three, four, five, six, seven. Seven dyn-o-mite.

MATT: Fail. Fail. They were more like, four, three, eight, nine, one.

TALIESIN: Thank god.

MATT: There we go. The vehicle succeeds.

MARISHA: Oh. Seven.

MATT: Seven points of bludgeoning damage. All right, that is to-- Got it. All right. So it explodes and they see part of the metal armor in the front has peeled back and arced outward from the detonation at the front.

MARISHA: Okay, okay. That's fine. I'm going to use a bonus action to-- I'm actually going to burn a 2nd-level spell to get two sorcery points back.

MATT: Okay, cool.

MARISHA: That's my turn.

MATT: All right. Finishing Laudna's go. Imogen, you're up.

LAURA: I'm going to (laughs).

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LAURA: Hi.

TALIESIN: Hi.

LAURA: I'm going to... Cast... Blindness on the driver that just got hit with a stick of dynamite.

MATT: Oh damn. Okay. That's a constitution saving throw?

LAURA: That's a con save.

MATT: Con save. Natural two.

LAURA: Yeah!

TALIESIN: Wow!

ASHLEY: Yes!

LAURA: They're right on the edge.

MATT: This is real bad for him! This is really bad right here!

TALIESIN: Do we fuck with him?

MATT: Oh no!

LAURA: Well, they might go straight off the edge.

TRAVIS: Yes!

MATT: I'll use to mark it.

ASHLEY: Let's go. I'm in it.

MARISHA: Come on.

ERIKA: Bleh, bleh, bleh.

TALIESIN: We'll walk away.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: And then-- And then-- I'm going to use my bonus action to try to push him.

MATT: The driver?

LAURA: Yeah! (laughter) I have to oblige.

MATT: Okay. Got it.

TRAVIS: The internal debate.

MATT: I'm going to give them advantage on the save, because they are in a seated position in the middle of the vehicle.

LAURA: Yeah, that makes sense. But at least, all I want to do is jostle them enough that it makes them wiggle on the handles. Do you know what I mean?

TRAVIS: Oh shit, the fucking wiggles?

MATT: Natural 20.

MARISHA: Oh.

MATT: But we'll say it does wiggle a little bit. (rumbling)

LAURA: Which is good.

MATT: Which is fine. You feel good about it.

TRAVIS: Wiggle, wiggle.

LAURA: I feel good.

MATT: Finishing your go, it's now--

LAURA: I messed him up.

ASHLEY: He was-- You threw him off.

MATT: It's now A's turn. They're going to go ahead and move forward.

TALIESIN: Man, they're just not giving any fucks.

MATT: They do move into the radius.

SAM: Shit.

TALIESIN: Yep. They do take damage.

MATT: They take a wisdom save.

SAM: 14.

MATT: 14. It's a natural 15 for the driver.

SAM: So it's half.

MATT: And five for the person in the back.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: So go ahead and roll damage.

SAM: Terrible damage.

ASHLEY: No, you just rolled it over again.

SAM: What was it?

ASHLEY: It was an eight.

SAM: Okay, great.

ASHLEY: It was an eight.

SAM: So it's 11 points of damage, but halved for one of them.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

SAM: Half for the driver, you said? So five. And then 11 for the fellow in back.

MATT: The half-elf lady with the massive axe. So it burns through the shell, slams her into the side as they pull through.

MARISHA: They have to make wisdom saving throws or they're frightened.

MATT: Because of?

MARISHA: Because I hit them.

MATT: With?

MARISHA: Dynamite?

MATT: That's not--

MARISHA: Technically, the rules say on each of my turns, if I hit a creature, I can force it to make a wisdom saving throw.

MATT: Hit a creature with an attack, or hit a creature.

MARISHA: It just says if I hit a creature.

MATT: Ah, sure. I'll allow it. I'll allow it.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: Because this is your shroud, right?

MARISHA: Mm-hmm. My Form of Dread.

MATT: Your Form of Dread. Yeah. Okay, you know what? Yeah, that makes sense. If a terrifying ghost throws dynamite at you, I'd be pretty scared. No, that's valid. Chickened out.

TALIESIN: Literally Scooby-Doo right there.

LIAM: It's horror dynamite.

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughter) You can see through it.

LAURA: It's horror dynamite and then they went blind from horror dynamite.

MATT: Natural one on the driver, who went blind from the horror dynamite. That person is having a bad day.

LIAM: I got hit with horror dynamite! (laughter)

TRAVIS: Really got to get that third R in there--

MATT: They're both frightened.

TRAVIS: -- otherwise it's just whore dynamite.

ERIKA: That is exactly what I thought they'd been saying over and over.

MARISHA: Whore Dynamite is my burlesque name. You know?

ASHLEY: It's pretty great.

LIAM: Speak with distinction. Horror dynamite.

MARISHA: Horror dynamite!

MATT: She's going to go ahead and take a giant swing with the greataxe towards you.

MARISHA: Towards me?

MATT: Yes.

MARISHA: Oh.

MATT: That is going to be a 20 to hit.

MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: Well.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: You take...

MARISHA: At least it's not doing scale attacks.

MATT: 18 points of slashing damage. Carving into you.

SAM: Ooh, I'll take half of that.

MATT: You cannot see her, because she's in the back of the vehicle--

LAURA: But she's right behind you!

MATT: -- and you are in the front.

SAM: Goddamn it.

MARISHA: It's all right, I've got--

LAURA: When you bond.

SAM: I'm binded to her.

MARISHA: You did bind.

LAURA: You would feel it.

MATT: You're binded, you can-- Mm.

SAM: What would that even mean?

MATT: I'll say the Sympathetic Binding allows you to use abilities that are part of the Sympathetic Binding, but specifically, the ability to take half the damage, you have to see what's happening.

SAM: Sure, sure, sure. That's fine.

MATT: So you cannot see her. This is the downside to being welded to the front of a fucking car.

SAM: Yep, yep, yep. There's disadvantages, sure. (laughter)

MATT: It's going to push through and action surge.

TALIESIN: Oh no!

MATT: That's going to be a natural 20.

LAURA, LIAM, TALIESIN: Oh no!

MATT: Finally some good fucking rolls here.

LIAM: You just got critted on.

MATT: You got critted.

ASHLEY: Uh-oh.

TRAVIS: You got critted.

MATT: You got critted! (laughs)

MARISHA: Can I Silvery Barbs that? Can I Silvery Barbs this?

TRAVIS: Is it a melee attack?

MATT: If you want to?

MARISHA: "You magically distract the triggering target, and turn its momentary uncertainty into encouragement for another-- The triggering roll, must reroll the d20 and use the lower roll."

ASHLEY: Whoa.

MATT: Sure. Okay, yeah.

TALIESIN: Woo!

MARISHA: So I see her, I get hit.

TRAVIS: -- Websters, what the fuck?

MARISHA: Then I'm going to try and throw up just through my--

MATT: (vomits)

MARISHA: Yeah. I'm just going to throw up in her face. (laughter) That's much better.

MATT: Yes! I love it. I love it. I love it.

TALIESIN: That's your new signature move.

MARISHA: Indigestion from the bees, you know? (laughter)

LAURA: Just a couple bees come out of you.

ERIKA: Honey?

MATT: A natural 19, but it's not a crit.

MARISHA: It's not a crit.

TRAVIS: Split pea soup.

MATT: It's not a crit.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MARISHA: Then as part of Silvery Barbs, because that was my--

SAM: Oh god, I don't know what to do.

MARISHA: That was my reaction. Correct, I get to give--

SAM: What I'm going to do with these fuckers?

MARISHA: -- encouragement to another creature. Where are we? Who's next? Who's next?

MATT: You don't know.

MARISHA: I'm just going to give it to Chetney, because he's in front of me.

MATT: Okay. You take another 17 points of slashing damage.

MARISHA: Okay.

LAURA: Are you okay?

MARISHA: You get-- Eh.

LIAM: She's fucked up.

TALIESIN: No.

MARISHA: You get advantage on the next attack roll, ability check, or saving throw you make.

TRAVIS: Okay.

TALIESIN: That's amazing.

MARISHA: What did you just say? 18 again?

MATT: 17.

MARISHA: 17?

MATT: All right. And then--

TALIESIN: Oh no.

LIAM: It's like this much, right?

TALIESIN: Ooh!

LIAM: I knew it.

SAM: She's fine. She's fine.

MATT: He's going to move forward one more right beside you guys.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Put this here.

LAURA: These are the Paragon's Call people.

MATT: Correct.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: Then on that-- And then the bees is right there. They're going to--

TALIESIN: That would be a double move to get out of that, so. That would be two moves to get out of that.

MATT: To get out of what?

TALIESIN: The bees. I mean, the turtles.

MATT: The turtles? Well, they're not close enough right here for them to get through the turtles. The turtles are this radius here. But this person is blind and frightened, so they're trying to move as far away from Laudna as possible, so they're going to try and move one.

MARISHA: Off the edge.

MATT: Two.

LAURA: Off the edge.

MARISHA: Drive off the cliff.

MATT: Here. I'll say, because you have a blind, roll a d20 for me with disadvantage. This is their perception, and they have a, only have plus one to it. So.

LAURA: With disadvantage? Five.

MATT: Five. So they begin to careen off the side a little bit, and it begins to (rumbling) off to the edge. Unless they can shake the blindness next turn, they're going to go off the cliff. So they're in a bad place.

TRAVIS: Marisha, which ones are--

MATT: The goblin in the back is extremely frightened, takes the satchel that they have--

MARISHA: These two.

MATT: -- and just goes ahead and you watch as they take another stick of, or another bomb they have, and they throw it back into the satchel and chuck it outward--

ASHLEY: Oh no.

MATT: -- angrily this direction.

LAURA: Uh-oh. Ow.

TALIESIN: God fucking damn it.

LAURA: Uh-oh.

TALIESIN: Are they d4-ed or no?

MATT: No, but they are frightened. They have disadvantage on the attack roll, because of Laudna. That still puts them at a 17. So the satchel comes out in front, and explodes immediately. It doesn't explode close enough to hurt anybody, but it leaves a large crater in the ground.

ASHLEY: Oh boy.

MATT: We'll say about... Eh, we'll put it at about here. This is fun.

ERIKA: (laughs)

LIAM: This is a good game, guys.

MATT: Good game.

MARISHA: This is so cute.

MATT: I love it. All righty.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: So finishing up there, that brings us to FCG and Orym.

MARISHA: FCG and Orym.

LIAM: Saturday morning cartoons.

SAM: Okay.

MARISHA: That's a cute one.

SAM: Oh god.

MARISHA: That's a cute one.

SAM: Um. Boy, oh boy. I don't want to use-- As an action. Shit.

TRAVIS: (mimics Sam) She-it.

SAM: Okay, I'll cast as a bonus action-- Wait, is Spiritual Weapon concentration? No. No, I can do it. Right, Spiritual Weapon is not concentration.

MATT: Correct, it's just a bonus action.

SAM: Okay, I'm only doing this because it's funny.

SAM, LIAM, MATT: (laugh)

MATT: Best reason to do anything.

ERIKA: I can't wait for this.

MARISHA: Om nom nom nom.

SAM: I'm going to do Spiritual Weapon at the people who just did all that shit to us.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: The Spiritual Weapon's going to take the form of a banana peel. (laughs)

ERIKA, MARISHA: Yeah. (laughter)

MATT: Sure, I don't have a mini for that.

SAM: Sure, sure, sure.

TRAVIS: How dare!

SAM: Yeah, I'll try to hit the front guy with-- I mean, I'd like to hit the wheel.

MATT: Want to hit the wheel?

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: Okay, roll for an attack on the wheel.

SAM: Okay.

ASHLEY: Come on.

TALIESIN: Let's see how this goes.

SAM: Eurgh, five. Wait, wait, what am I doing? Spiritual Weapon is plus six to hit or something. I mean it's 11 or something.

MATT: 11, it goes (whooshes, ping). Unfortunately, it's an armored front of the wheel and it streaks off the front. The banana peel just slips underneath.

SAM: Damn.

MATT: No major issue. But good try, good try.

MARISHA: That was good. I liked it.

SAM: All right, I still have an action.

MATT: Spiritual Weapon also. (vroom)

LAURA: Oh right.

MATT: As they drive past.

LAURA: They stick. It stays in place.

SAM: It doesn't?

LAURA: No. It can only--

SAM: (anguished yell)

LIAM: Through the air--

LAURA: It can only move like 20 feet--

SAM: Oh no! I didn't know that! (laughter)

MATT: Lesson learned. (laughter)

SAM: I thought it just stayed with me. Oh, Cleric learning.

ERIKA: Didn't you used to use that all the time?

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: But we were never moving.

MATT: Yeah, there was never a motorcycle race happening at the time. (laughs) But you know, the more you know.

SAM: Yep, I learned. All right, well, it was still funny.

MATT: That was great.

MATT, LIAM: (laugh)

SAM: I have an action still. With action-- Can I hot swap again? Or is that too much swapping?

MATT: It's a lot of swapping with all that stuff going on, I'll say.

SAM: Probably. And I'm like this and stuff.

MATT: You're like (strains)

SAM: I don't really have any other-- I have a buzz saw, but I'm not close enough to do anything with it, so.

TALIESIN: No.

LAURA: And you can't heal Laudna?

MATT: You can do a cantrip, if you want to.

SAM: A cantrip, oh! That I can do. That's two spells in turn, is that okay?

MATT: As long as one's a cantrip, it's okay.

SAM: Okay, well then I'll shoot a Sacred Flame.

MATT: At?

SAM: At that, at the back of that, the guy in the back of the truck next to us.

MATT: Okay, okay, you got it. As a note, because it was the end of that guy's turn, and he was blind on that turn, he does make a save, right, to try and resist it. Okay. With a natural eight plus two, it's a 10. So he remains blind.

MARISHA: Huh.

MATT: We'll see how the next round goes.

ASHLEY: Woo!

MATT: (laughs) Oh man, okay. All right.

SAM: Sacred Flame, dexterity 14 save to the fellow in back of crawler.

MATT: Over here.

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: You got it. That is going to be a 14 exactly.

SAM: So that saves?

MATT: That saves, yeah.

SAM: So, no damage?

MATT: If your DC is 14, then yes.

SAM: Yes. Great.

MATT: No damage. Good looking out, though. All right. Orym, your turn. They're now slowly cruising around the hairpin turn, right where both of you guys are situated. So Orym's going to go and you're you're right after Ashton. So you guys are like heading up the rear.

LIAM: Which of these bikes would be, from our vantage point, since this is all theater of the mind, is it this one or that one that is coming closest?

TRAVIS: To where you're perched?

MATT: To where you guys are perched? This one's coming probably closest to where you are, but this one's also about to careen off the edge. It's getting real close. This one's the safest situated and this one's in the middle. So where you guys are actually, this one would be the closest to the outside turn of the hairpin. Actually, this one would be closest to you guys.

LAURA: Oh, so yeah, so that--

TALIESIN: The one that's clearly fucking with us.

LIAM: That's a--

MARISHA: Those two are Baned as well.

LIAM: These two?

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

LIAM: That's a mess, so, all right. So, where last we left off, Orym sprinted 10 feet and with my boots and the jump rolls 20 feet through the air, right. Shield is up and he's shrinking up behind it. Sword is sheathed and this circle is going, (whooshes) aiming at the driver's head. When I get within one foot, all through the air, air is starting to swirl around Orym. When he closes in and gets a foot away, all the air goes (whooshes) out behind him with a Gust cantrip, and I slam the shield with a push from that trying to battle ram this guy off the fucking bike.

MATT: Got it, okay. This is going to be an acrobatics check to try and pull off the aim of this whole circumstance. It's a fucking awesome move. Let's see if we can pull it off.

LIAM: 18.

MATT: 18'll do it! (oohing)

LAURA: (claps)

ASHLEY: (shouts) Yes!

ERIKA: Woo!

MATT: Shield up in front. As you begin to arc down where you barely look past top of the shield and you see the driver is not even paying attention and is taking the turn and spinning it, big gritted teeth before they glance up at you, eyes wide before slamming into them. Go ahead and roll a slam attack.

MARISHA: Come on!

ASHLEY: Fun.

LAURA: I love it!

MARISHA: Yeah.

LIAM: That is a 10. This is just my--

MATT: Is it your-- what would be your dexterity modifier added to it.

LIAM: My dex of-- 15.

MATT: 15 just hits.

ASHLEY: Oh.

MARISHA: (claps)

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: (laughs)

LIAM: This is shield damage or--

MATT: No, this is a shove, so now it's--

LIAM: This is a shove.

MATT: This would be your athletics versus his athletics to try and shove him off the vehicle.

LIAM: Okay, so, okay.

MARISHA: (whispers) Minus a d4.

MATT: Minus a d4.

MARISHA: (pigeon coos)

MATT: Well, it's not ability checks. It's saving throws and attacks, isn't it?

TALIESIN: Yeah, shit.

MATT: Thought so.

LIAM: Oh, so I'm doing a new acrobatics?

MATT: This is athletics.

LIAM: Oh, athletics. All right.

MARISHA: They threw a grenade.

LIAM: Six.

MATT: Six, rolled seven. So it impacts, somebody manages to resist it. So you don't shove them off the side, but you are on the vehicle, which is going to weigh it down a little bit and prevent him from doing the extra rounds.

LIAM: Action Surge, I'm going to hack at his ankles.

TRAVIS: Yeah!

ASHLEY: Yes!

MATT: Because you are now in the front of this vehicle.

LIAM: This will-- I'll do a superiority die. Hold on. To do a trip attack, to add to the total damage to the roll. So that is a 18 to hit.

MATT: 18 hits.

LIAM: It's a trip attack, so he has to do a 16 strength save. so he has to do a 16 strength save.

MATT: That's a 15. He just misses.

LIAM: So he goes down. I don't know if he falls flat on the bike or if he's gone.

MATT: He falls flat on the bike. If you were to, next round, if he gets back up, he'll be fine. But essentially, if you're able to trip him and then slam again.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: Because you have two attacks, right, so--

LIAM: I have another swing at him, but I haven't--

MATT: Here's the thing, a slam attack is one of your attacks. You have two attacks.

LIAM: Okay, so?

MATT: So your Action Surge. You have four attacks, technically.

LIAM: Oh, I was considering-- Oh, so you're not even using-- Oh, I thought that whole smash with the shield was my thing.

MATT: No. That's your move and jump and then a slam is in place of an attack. So basically you slam him and attack and tripped him. He's knocked down. If you want to try and slam him again with your Action Surge.

LIAM: Yes, yes.

MATT: Then you would've had advantage on the athletics checks.

LIAM: So, I'm using my Action Surge before my action. Is that what we're saying here?

MATT: You slammed and then attacked to trip him and then Action Surge to try and slam after. Because you certainly, you have two attacks.

LIAM: All right, so-- biddle, liddle, liddle.

MATT: That's a little wobbly. We'll get there.

LIAM: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. So that is d6.

SAM: Should we put a disclaimer on this episode?

LIAM: Seven.

SAM: The actions performed by these drivers--

LIAM: 11 points of damage with the slash into his leg taking him down.

MATT: He falls down in the middle of the seating arrangement in the center of the crawler, starts to try and start getting back up.

LIAM: I lift my shield up like this and swing the shield and catch him under the chin. That's how I'm going to try to knock him the fuck out.

MATT: Hell yes.

MARISHA: Come on.

MATT: Roll with advantage, because he is knocked down.

LIAM, MATT: 20.

MATT: He rolled a 10.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: Nine plus one. You wham! Like full on Captain America uppercut him with the shield and he (whoosh) goes flying out of the vehicle. (cheering) Allowing you to then take the space of the cockpit.

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

MATT: Though you are just standing in it with your shield and weapon out at the moment, staring at the guy in the back as the vehicle is turning the corner. So you got to choose to either take control soon.

LIAM: Oh, I'm driving. Well, I turn my head over and look at the person in the back and just say: 'Sup? Then I turn and I take control and start to drive.

MATT: You see this wily looking gnome, who has the dark shadows in the corner of the face and glances over at you with a wide look of surprise. And that's the one glance you get as you get back into grabbing the driver's seat.

LIAM: I'm trusting that Dusk is going to follow and take care of rider number two. I think so.

MATT: So this--

TALIESIN: Goddamn.

MATT: This is the crawler that you now have access to. All righty, finishing your go, that brings us to Ashton, and then Dusk on deck.

TALIESIN: All right.

LIAM: What does it mean?

TALIESIN: That thing is coming up fast, isn't it?

MATT: Yes, it is.

TALIESIN: Okay, first thing I'm going to do is--

MATT: You can either try and move around it or attempt to drive through.

TALIESIN: We'll see. First thing I'm going to do, is I'm going to rage again.

TRAVIS: What is it again, Matt?

TALIESIN: And fuck me!

SAM: It's a crater.

LIAM: Was it the same one?

TALIESIN: Same fucking one.

MATT: So the explosion took out chunk of the ground during the middle of the hairpin turn.

TALIESIN: I was going to say, actually--

MATT: You can either try and drive through it or you can try and maneuver around it and take the extra move.

TRAVIS: I mean, I'm not the front wheel. Let's go through that part.

ERIKA: Whoa! (laughter)

TALIESIN: Here's an interesting thing.

MATT: Yeah?

TALIESIN: Can I apply my Density Well to those motherfuckers who are currently-- which means I cannot-- normally I cannot be knocked prone, pushed, pulled or forced to move and when I hit with a melee attack, technically, I can burn a Chaos Burst-- mee-lee-- to do additional damage. If the target doesn't succeed a strength saving throw, they get knocked prone. Which it would be something to a bike, I don't know.

MATT: To hit the bike, you mean?

TALIESIN: If I use-- Can I use Density Well as part of my slam?

MATT: I'll allow it, sure.

TALIESIN: See if I can really fuck them up.

MATT: Sure.

TALIESIN: I am going to use my two movements to turn hard to the right.

MATT: To the right.

TALIESIN: I'm going to fuck them up on my way in.

MATT: Okay, so you're moving--

TALIESIN: I'm moving like that, but at the same time I am getting real heavy.

MATT: Right.

LAURA: Awesome!

MATT: Okay, so--

TALIESIN: Trying to clip them.

MATT: Make a slam attack with the vehicle.

TALIESIN: ♪ Slam attack ♪ Where the-- slam attack-- Can I also make it-- if I make this-- take advantage on this--

MATT: Reckless?

TALIESIN: Reckless. Does that me or is that the bike?

MATT: It's not a weapon, unfortunately.

TALIESIN: Okay, that's fine.

MATT: That's just the bike.

TALIESIN: Come on, motherfucker. That's 15 to hit.

MATT: 15 against that one. Which-- AC? That does not hit, unfortunately.

LAURA: (groans)

MATT: Sorry. It's tough. That one has tougher armor than the others. That one's been upgraded. But good try, good try.

TALIESIN: I burned a Chaos Burst on that, too.

MATT: You do, but you managed to use the rest of your movement to maneuver so you're not actually going through the pothole, which is good. All right, finishing your go. Dusk, you're up. You watch as--

SAM: Matt.

ASHLEY: Oh, may I pull out Mister at the finish line out there?

MATT: Sure. Okay.

ASHLEY: Just waiting at the finish line with Mister.

MARISHA: Just to throw some flaming shit in people's face.

ASHLEY: We'll see what happens. Ready. Ready and willing.

MATT: Okay.

ERIKA: I've just seen Orym take a running leap and full on Captain America. So I... take a running leap, stamp my boots, and I leap off onto the vehicle and it's like--

MATT: Which vehicle are you going for?

ERIKA: That one. That one.

MATT: All right. Oh, this one here?

ERIKA: No, the one that Orym's on.

MATT: Okay, you got it. So you leap off.

ERIKA: Going to land right in front of the guy in the back.

MARISHA: Yes.

LIAM: No. (groaning, screaming) (laughter)

MATT: Not quitting-- no, it's fine.

ERIKA: Oh. Yeah.

MATT: So.

ERIKA: Then I Eldritch Blast him right in the face. (ooh-ing)

MATT: Dang, okay. Well, as part of the flight scenario, to try and capture there, I will say another acrobatics check, if you don't mind making it for me, as it is trying to catch a moving vehicle.

TRAVIS: Let's go.

LAURA: ♪ Come on, Dusk ♪ ♪ Come on, Dusk ♪

ERIKA: No!

LAURA: No.

ERIKA: Seven.

MATT: Seven.

MARISHA: Lucky number seven.

MATT: So as you fly forward and begin to go out for the vehicle, your feet-- you miscalculated the arc you were going for and your leg hits the front of the metal and you go rotating and spinning in the air, like the guy who hits the propeller falling from the Titanic. You start cartwheeling over the front of the vehicle. I'll give you an opportunity to try and grab Dusk's arm, if you wanted to make dexterity saving throw.

LIAM: Yeah, for sure.

SAM: Come on.

LIAM: This is just a dex save?

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LIAM: Natural 20. (cheering) My little ropy arm. (laughter)

ERIKA: (yells)

MATT: So you, after spinning, grabbing the arm and you're like (whooshing) fluttering back, holding onto her arms (grunts) and in the middle of this--

TRAVIS: Double Captain America moment.

MATT: -- is this crazy gnome, who's like, and is pulling out a blade.

SAM: Oh no. Oh no.

LIAM: Thank god yesterday was leg day! (laughter)

MATT: But Dusk, it's still your turn. So you're now being held. You're kind of sort of on the vehicle but not by being held by him. But you still have your action to go and your bonus action. What do you want to do?

ERIKA: I Eldritch Blast that guy in the face.

MATT: You got it. All right, so roll two attacks.

ERIKA: Okay.

LIAM: That mini is doing the limbo.

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Oh man.

LAURA: She's going.

ERIKA: A 16 or--

TALIESIN: Oh my god.

LIAM: (slow motion) Holy moly.

TALIESIN: (slow motion) No.

ERIKA: 24 and a 12.

MATT: Okay, 24 hits, so you can roll damage on that one.

ERIKA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Yes.

MATT: This is the angle at which you are holding Dusk's arm. (laughter)

LIAM: The ground is whipping beneath them.

LAURA: It was prophecy.

MATT: It's perfect. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Yeah. 100%.

ERIKA: So, 13.

MATT: 13 points of damage from that one.

ERIKA: And--

MATT: Yes?

ERIKA: I use a Repelling Blast, so he gets blasted ten feet away from me.

MATT: Oops. I'll give him one opportunity for a dexterity saving throw to try to hold onto the back of the vehicle.

TALIESIN: With a d4.

MATT: Like you're being held. Minus a d4 because of Bane. I'll say needs a--

LAURA: They're going.

MATT: Needs a 12.

LAURA: They're going. Dusk is going.

MATT: I'm going to roll this out in front here, so.

MARISHA: No, come on, man.

MATT: Eight minus four. That's a four. (cheering)

TALIESIN: Is anybody left to Bane? Are they all gone? You're clear. Drop it now. Yeah.

MATT: With that--

LAURA: The only one left--

MATT: Using Orym's--

LAURA: -- are them who are about to careen off the side.

MATT: Get into the back seat there.

TALIESIN: Damn.

ERIKA: Ooh.

TRAVIS: Wow. Wow.

MATT: That's nuts.

TRAVIS: Wow.

LAURA: Yes!

ERIKA: We make a good team.

LAURA: Y'all are badass.

MATT: Top of the next round, as you all come down the switchback, you go around the second one, cruising around the backside, and now you watch as you come around the second hairpin turn, everyone carefully spinning. These guys over here. (sighs) So the driver-- (laughter) -- has to make another perception check with disadvantage to see if he can remember the layout of the road before the next hairpin turn.

TRAVIS: Because he can't see.

MATT: So the first roll.

MARISHA: Still Bane.

MATT: It's a three.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

TALIESIN: This one doesn't Bane.

LAURA: That's just a skill--

MARISHA: Oh, sorry.

MATT: Three. Yeah, no. That vehicle goes (whooshes).

TRAVIS: Yeah! (cheering) (Goofy falling sound)

ERIKA: Is it just us now?

TALIESIN: One asshole.

MATT: So--

LAURA: Paragon's Call is the last one.

TALIESIN: One big asshole.

MATT: You guys turn the next hairpin turn and all you hear in the distance is (dull explosion) (laughter)

TALIESIN: We get a Wilhelm before you go. We get a fucking Wilhelm.

ERIKA: (screams)

TALIESIN: Ya hoo hoo!

ASHLEY: Oh my goodness.

MATT: Oh my goodness.

TALIESIN: Terrible Wilhelm, I'm well aware.

ERIKA: That was an amazing Goofy.

TALIESIN: Thank you. Goofy was in my head.

LIAM: Ugh!

MATT: All righty. As the final bit of the ravine, the second hairpin comes around, it curves in towards the cliff into an interior of a dark lightless cave. (oohing) This next stage, all of a sudden throws the entire road into darkness. Anybody who doesn't have darkvision, you need to find a way to light the way.

LIAM: Oh shit.

MATT: Because right now you are now, aside from the little bit of reflective light that hits the inside of this cave, you have very limited vision and already you can see all matter of rock columns and stalactites cruising by. And we'll pick up from there at the end of our break. (groaning)

TRAVIS: So good!

MATT: We're in the ravine section now. We're now about two hours in, so we'll come back for the next--

ERIKA: Holy cow, Matt.

MATT: The next two legs of this race.

ASHLEY: This is so fun!

MATT: We'll see you guys here in just a sec.

Part II
MATT: And welcome back. So, to pick up where we left off, let's get some proper music here and the interior of the ravine caverns as you then go darting on your crawler back into the dark, subterranean space of these caverns. Those of you who cannot see in the dark are having a rough time, especially if you're a driver. But, first thing's first. (whooshes) Bats start swarming suddenly out of the inside of the cave past everyone and you have to guard yourself in the process. If everyone can make wisdom saving throws who are driving.

SAM: Wisdom.

MARISHA: Who are driving.

SAM: Do I have to make one since I'm a vehicle?

MATT: I'll say yes, because you are a part of the vehicle.

LIAM: Oh wow, I rolled two natural ones!

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: Oh no!

ASHLEY: Oh no.

MARISHA: That's sad.

TRAVIS: 17.

MATT: 17. You push past bats.

TRAVIS: I actually go (chomps).

MATT: Yeah. (laughter) Get a snack on the way.

SAM: Also 17.

MATT: Also 17. So you're just getting smacked by them, but you're shaking them off, you're shaking them off.

SAM: It's like a face massage.

ERIKA: So nice.

MATT: The opponents get their-- Natural one in their point, too, so their driver gets smacked in the face by bats as do you. You lose one ground as part of the process.

MARISHA: Jesus.

MATT: They end up descending back--

MARISHA: (groans)

MATT: -- to where that is.

TRAVIS: (deeply) Yes.

TALIESIN: Oh, that's great.

LAURA: Yeah?

LIAM: Mm-hmm.

TALIESIN: Oh no, that's not great.

MATT: All right so, with that point, now, in the middle of the darkness, top of the round, Chetney, you're up.

TRAVIS: Amazing! Back on throttle. We're going to use the movement to move diagonally in front of them to the right.

MATT: All righty. Oh god. Okay. Oh god.

SAM: Oh double god.

MATT: I'm just wrecking it all right now. There we go.

TRAVIS: Then we're going to slam on the fucking brakes!

SAM: Really?

ERIKA: Yeah you are!

SAM: Slam on the brakes, they'll go right by us.

TRAVIS: That's right. (laughter) Slam on the brakes, they'll go right by.

MATT: So I'll say for that, consider that a slam attack.

TRAVIS: Yep.

MATT: But you'll have advantage on this.

TRAVIS: Oh, ooh. I like it. I like it.

LIAM: Question. Are the turtles glowing?

ERIKA: (laughs)

LAURA: Oh.

TALIESIN: I was wondering about that, too, because I thought--

SAM: It doesn't say that they glow. It just says they're spirits.

MATT: Yeah. So we'll say there are faint, faint green lights, but they're not casting light on things around them. You can just see where they are.

SAM: Cool.

TRAVIS: It's a 20 to hit.

MATT: That definitely hits, roll slam damage.

TRAVIS: Slam damage!

ERIKA: Slam damage!

MARISHA: Slam damage.

LIAM: Roll for slammage.

LAURA: Roll that slam damage.

ERIKA: Slammage.

TRAVIS: Roll your slam damage!

TALIESIN: Slam Damage is a great wrestling name.

ERIKA: Slammage.

MATT: It really is.

TRAVIS: That's four. It is 14 bludgeoning damage.

MATT: 14 bludgeoning damage. (crash) Slam into the vehicle. Sparks start shining off into spaces, the wheels grinding underneath the metallic back of your car and does cause them to lose ground and get pushed back a bit.

MARISHA: Nice.

TRAVIS: Amazing. With our bonus action, double invisible wolf birds up in the air and we accelerate forward.

MARISHA: Yes!

LAURA: Woo!

MATT: Move to there.

TRAVIS: Great.

MATT: Hell yeah.

ASHLEY: Incredible. Oh my.

TRAVIS: End of turn.

MATT: All right. That finishes your go. So that brings us to Laudna, with Imogen on deck.

MARISHA: All right. Laudna is going to cast Blur on herself.

SAM: Blur.

MARISHA: Because, I'm unhealthy.

SAM: Blur.

MAATT: All right.

MARISHA: Then I'm going to--

MATT: Okay, just a blur marker there.

MARISHA: Might as well Quicken Spell again. Actually, you know what? No.

MATT: You have darkvision, right?

MARISHA: I do have darkvision.

MATT: Yes. If anybody should, I think it would be you.

MARISHA: That's it. I'll hold for now.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I'm not going to burn my slots just yet.

MATT: You got it. All right, that finishes your go. Imogen, you're up.

LAURA: Right.

MATT: Do you have darkvision?

LAURA: I do not.

MATT: You have no idea what's happening around you beyond just the bats that are (bat swarm flying).

LAURA: So I am going to trust in FCG since I've seen him use his face as lights before and I'm going to hold my action until I can see.

MATT: Until you can see? Okay, what are you holding?

LAURA: I'm going to hold--

LIAM: (like Imogen) On for dear life.

LAURA: (laughs) Yeah, right?

TALIESIN: You don't have a potion you could take as a bonus action, do you?

LAURA: Maybe. Hold on. I'm going to hold ♪ Dissonant Whispers ♪

MATT: Okay. Hold them

MATT and TALIESIN: ♪ Dissonant Whispers ♪

MARISHA: DM.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: DM, can I also quickly do a bonus action and re-up my Form of Dread.

MATT: Yeah, if you can use it again. Go for it.

MARISHA: Form of Dread.

MATT: Boom, go ahead and roll for your temporary hit points.

MARISHA: Yes, please.

LAURA: ♪ Dissonant Whispers ♪

LIAM: ♪ Flute melody ♪

MARISHA: Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

MATT: And with that, they're going to move one, two, three up in the that space there which will get them--

TALIESIN: Oh shit.

MATT: Squish them just a little bit.

TALIESIN: Goddamn it.

LAURA: Yeah, it's fine, but I can't do it now because I can't do anything else.

TALIESIN: No.

MATT: Okay. They do both move into the radius, so go ahead and roll your damage.

SAM: Oh, awesome. Great!

MARISHA: Come on.

SAM: 3d8.

MATT: That is a success on the driver.

SAM: That's two.

SAM, LAURA: Eight.

SAM: 16!

LAURA: Fuck yeah.

SAM: It's a DC 14 wisdom, I think.

MATT: 14 does make it. So they both make the save, so it's half damage for what was the total?

SAM: 16 points, so it's eight.

MATT: Eight to each you got.

MARISHA: Not too bad.

LAURA: That's right. That's good, that's good.

TALIESIN: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: Hey.

MATT: All righty. As they move up, the half-elf woman, giant greataxe in hand, is going to go ahead and... Yeah. Is going to go ahead and giant swing over towards you Laudna, just trying to finish this job on you.

MARISHA: Disadvantage because I got Blur now.

MATT: That's true, yeah. 16 and a natural one.

SAM: Ooh!

MATT: That is a miss.

LAURA: Oh my god!

MATT: It moves towards you and your form is just (vibrates) phases out and the blade just swings wide and you hear, "Shit!"

SAM: Whoa.

MATT: That's going to finish their go. Actually, no, as a bonus action, they're going to go ahead and... They're just going to yell. Just "(yells)." All right, that brings us to--

LIAM: Okay.

MARISHA: Gah!

MATT: -- FCG with Orym on deck.

SAM: For my action I will cast Light and turn on my eyes as two headlamps at the front of the vehicle.

MATT: (beaming light) All of a sudden, the space around you begins to light with a projection forward to reveal the path in front of you and as it does, you now see that there are bones scattered all over the floor here that you're driving over and breaking.

TRAVIS: Why? Why are there bones?

SAM: From races or from pirates?

ERIKA: Bones.

MATT: So that's your action.

SAM: That's my action.

MARISHA: Oops all bones.

SAM: Bonus action--

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: Bucket of bones.

SAM: Bonus action. I can't see her, but I am connected to her, so I will use my Sympathetic Bond and I will give Ardent Armor to Laudna. One plus my wisdom modifier. One plus, you get four points. Four temporary hit points.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: I can-- Okay. Yeah. Because that was from two separate things, right?

MATT: No. Temporary hit points do not stack.

SAM: Oh no! Well, I wasted it.

MARISHA: Give it to Chet.

MATT: (laughs)

SAM: I don't know about that.

MATT: Yeah, he doesn't know.

MARISHA: Sorry.

SAM: Where'd you get those?

MARISHA: From my Form of Dread. I re-upped it.

LIAM: She's always got them.

SAM: What's going on back there? (laughter)

MATT: All right, that finishes FCG's go. Orym, you're up.

LAURA: Oh wait, I was holding my-- Sorry, I was holding my spell until I could see.

MATT: Oh that's right, the light. Yeah.

LAURA: So I'm going to Dissonant Whispers. ♪ Dissonant Whispers ♪ ♪ The driver of ♪ the Paragon's Call ♪

SAM: ♪ Dissonant Whispers ♪

MATT: You got it. That is a wisdom save, you said?

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: That's a 12.

LAURA: So he hears in his head--

MATT: "(grunts)"

LAURA: You'll never make it out of this race! (static) It's supposed to wrack him with pain.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: He's going to take 3d6 psychic damage.

MATT: ♪ Go ahead and roll that dice ♪

LAURA: ♪ (electric guitar) ♪ Seven plus, no. I'm going to do this math. 12. 12 points of psychic damage.

MATT: Great.

LAURA: And.

MATT: And? He must immediately use his reaction to move as far away from me as speed allows. His next action or immediately?

LAURA: Immediately use his reaction.

MATT: His reaction. Okay.

LAURA: To get away from me.

MATT: So it would be one movement away from you, which will be right there.

LIAM: Bummer, we were about sandwich him in there.

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: All righty. So finishing that held turn there. That now brings us to Orym, with Ashton on deck.

LIAM: Okay, changing up a little bit, but the lights come on. I see that. I see the enemy. I see the Paragon's Call bike. So I'm going to use movement and acceleration to get right up next to them.

SAM: Ooh, nice.

LIAM: Yep. Then, Orym lifts his shield and splays it this way and folded in his hand in between the shield and his hand is that blue rose and I go (blows) and electricity goes (crackles)--

MATT: Hell yeah!

LIAM: -- and shoots into the driver.

MATT: All righty.

LIAM: That is DC constitution save of 15.

MATT: Natural three.

LIAM: So it's 3d10.

SAM: Ooh. Damn.

LIAM: Here's hoping. Here's hoping.

ERIKA: What is it?

LIAM: Nine, four, and one. So 14 points of lightning damage. in his face.

MATT: All right. How do you want to do this? (cheering)

ASHLEY: Oh yes!

LIAM: I'm going to do it as I come up from the back and I'm going to blow these flower petals which turn into electricity and crackle and smash them off the bike, sending them flying into the back of the bike that Laut-na's on.

MARISHA: (giggles)

LIAM: And spears him on the back. He just hangs there.

TRAVIS: Oh no!

ASHLEY: Oh yes!

LAURA: Epic!

SAM: Unnecessary.

TRAVIS: That's going to affect our balance.

MARISHA: Oh.

LAURA: It will affect your balance.

MATT: There we go. (laughter) "(gurgles)"

TRAVIS: That was the driver?

LIAM: Driver.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

MATT: Hell yeah. Okay. That finish your go?

LIAM: Mm-hmm.

MATT: All righty. Bringing up to Ashton, with Dusk on deck.

SAM: Dusk on deck!

TALIESIN: If I burn a Density Well and just slam the brakes once, can I become a big, bloody wall for that thing behind me for a brief moment before accelerating again?

MATT: Yeah, you can. Basically, you use your movement to move back by to brake and then you use your action to slam attack, which I'll give you advantage because you're braking in front.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm. Can I pour Density Well into that and get a little extra damage?

MATT: I'll allow you. Yeah, sure.

TALIESIN: All right, let's-- No, I can't do that thing because that skirmish-crawler cannot take advantage that way. Come on, come on, come on. Natural 20! (cheering)

MATT: Dang! All right. So roll the slam damage and give it double the dice.

TALIESIN: Plus, okay, so that's--

MATT: Slam damage.

ERIKA: Slammage.

MATT: Roll that slammage.

TALIESIN: Slammage. It's 2d10 plus-- (laughter)

ASHLEY: So cool.

LAURA: I feel like that's--

TALIESIN: 2d10 plus 1d6.

LAURA: Roll that slammage. (laughter)

MATT: Why do I not remember this is all filmed and going on the internet? It's fine, whatever. There's no sense of shame left in me. (laughter)

LIAM: You replaced how do you want to do this?

TALIESIN: 23 points of damage.

MATT: 23 points of damage, nice. All right, to that right there.

TRAVIS: That's to the... Is that to the skirmish-crawler or to the dude in the back?

TALIESIN: Skirmish-crawler.

MATT: That's to the last skirmish-crawler. That... How do you want to do this?

SAM: Oh! (exclaiming)

MATT: This is the actual skirmish-crawler, not the people. You've done enough damage to the vehicle that the vehicle is now destroyed.

TALIESIN: I'm gritting my teeth and I just concentrate and I squeeze and the black and white gray tones just briefly just pulse out of me onto the car which suddenly just stops. like a piece of lead.

MATT: So full speed to just stationary rock. Slams into it and you see the vehicle crumple up. The gravity is so intense that there's minimal damage to your vehicle. But what you do see is splintered shards of shrapnel as the crawler is suddenly burst into hundreds of pieces from the momentum that it was carrying smashing into what was essentially a boulder of gravity. The driver and the passenger are also scattered in the impact of being shredded by the shrapnel of the vehicle around them. You just watch this brief little squib glimmer of wet in the air before the darkness takes them and you don't even see where they are.

TRAVIS: Wet squib.

TALIESIN: Then I let go and I book it again.

LAURA: I'm also now sitting in your lap, because I would have--

ASHLEY: Are you okay?

TALIESIN: Oh yeah.

LAURA: -- flung fucking forward on that.

MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: You actually would have been in the Gravity Well, anyway.

MATT: To that point. So it would have been. True, actually, because she would have been in the Gravity Well.

TALIESIN: Yeah, she would have been in the Gravity Well.

MATT: If you want to allow it, I'll allow it. But you are back to there. We'll say you move forward one. So there you are. Okay, cool.

TALIESIN: It's not even an enemy. It's any creature.

SAM: Should we just finish the race so we can find out which one of us wins?

LAURA: I mean, we should finish it.

MARISHA: Well, we have to deliver them.

MATT: So Dusk, is there anything you want to do?

ERIKA: I mean, I guess I would like to hold. Can I hold? I'm at the end of the round, but can I hold--

MATT: Yeah.

ERIKA: -- until a threat becomes apparent?

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah.

MATT: Okay. Great.

MARISHA: That's a good idea.

MATT: Which is perfect, because at the end of the round is when you hear the (growls). (groans) (laughter)

ERIKA: Ow!

MATT: You watch as you're careening around areas here, I do need the drivers to all make dexterity saving throws as you're now speeding through the caverns.

ERIKA: Oh, thank god!

MATT: Immediately beginning to see big rock pillars and stalagmites in the way and having to turn briefly out of the way.

SAM: Oh god.

LIAM: Eight.

MATT: Eight.

SAM: Come on, you have to drive!

TALIESIN: Do I get advantage because of--

TRAVIS: Nine.

TALIESIN: -- barbarian?

TRAVIS: Not good.

TALIESIN: A dex save--

MATT: Yeah, you would because you see it.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MARISHA: His claws are so long.

TALIESIN: Oh, thank god. 19.

MATT: 19. Okay. That's a success.

TALIESIN: Woo hoo!

TRAVIS: Nine.

MATT: Nine, so both you and-- Both of your vehicles, not you, but the vehicles take 10 points of bludgeoning damage.

SAM: Do I take any of that?

TRAVIS: Which is halved.

MATT: Halved. You take-- Actually, because you're in the front of the vehicle, you take 10 as well.

SAM: Sure.

MARISHA: Is it half for you because you're part of the vehicle and it takes half damage? (laughs)

MATT: Right as you turn that corner, is when-- Beyond just the headlights that FCG has out in front of you that's showing the rest of you what's around the space--

TRAVIS: Hurry!

MATT: You turn the corner and in a split second, you see other light sources, these green light sources, a number of them.

MARISHA: Oh.

MATT: Right as your headlights come across it, you see that they're all from one creature.

SAM: What?

TALIESIN: Oh no.

MATT: As a massive beast.

SAM: What?!

ASHLEY: Oh what!

MATT: Leaps out in front from the side of the cavern.

ERIKA: It's got lights on it!

ASHLEY: It's so cute!

MARISHA: Does it light up? Is it pulsing?

MATT: It is pulsing, yes.

TALIESIN: It's pulsing.

LAURA: I love him.

LIAM: I mean, so am I.

LAURA: I know he's going to be mean, but I love him!

MARISHA: I love him too!

ERIKA: I love him.

LAURA: Can you spin him around so we can see him, Matt?

MARISHA: Yeah!

LIAM: Spin him right round.

TRAVIS: Whoa!

LAURA, MARISHA: Aww.

TRAVIS: Can you keep spinning him in that direction if he's fey or fiend?

LAURA: Look at the cute little beady-eyed beebee!

MATT: So.

TALIESIN: He's going to either be cleaved in two or we're really fucked.

MARISHA: Let's tame him and make him our friend.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I want to ride him.

MARISHA: I want to ride him, too.

LAURA: We can leap off and tame it.

MARISHA: He's kind of a Falcor thing.

TALIESIN: I'm going to name him National Velvet.

MATT: If I could have Ashton and FCG go ahead and make... Just make intelligence checks for me.

LAURA: Uh-oh.

TALIESIN: All right. That always goes well.

ERIKA: Oh no.

SAM: Six or a nine. That's a nine.

TALIESIN: 15.

MATT: 15. You know what this creature is. You've only heard about them, but you've not seen them, but you've heard many stories. They are dangerous denizens of the Hellcatch Valley known as the kagaronks.

LAURA: Kagaronk?

TALIESIN: Kagaronk.

MATT: They are burrowing, subterranean creatures that feast on flesh and bone.

ASHLEY: Ooh! Normally, they're exterminated when they come this close to any of the cities, but this one apparently has either moved in here recently or has gone under the radar. But it is hungry and it is currently focused on your troop.

LAURA: Uh-oh.

MATT: But, that brings us back to the top of the initiative order. Chetney, you're up.

TRAVIS: Is it important that they win instead of us?

TALIESIN: No.

SAM: Who's they?

TRAVIS: With the fucking Red Moon car.

MARISHA: But you guys have the token, right?

SAM: Oh.

MARISHA: You guys have the... You guys are the ones that are trying to impress Paragon's Call.

SAM: This is about pride.

LAURA: No, I think either of us.

TALIESIN: Yeah, no, it's--

MARISHA: Literally any of us.

TALIESIN: It's any of us.

MARISHA: Okay.

LAURA: Yeah, it's our group.

MARISHA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: Do you want to tradesies?

TRAVIS: Huh?

MARISHA: You want to tradesies? I'm down with tradesies if you want to fuck some shit up.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: Let's do that.

TRAVIS: I'll stand up and go back to Laudna, go: (deeply) Laudna, drive!

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: Oh shit, so you're switching?

TRAVIS: Yeah, we're switching.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Actually, do you have--

MATT: That is awesome.

LAURA: You want to do that, too?

TALIESIN: I'm down if you want to.

SAM: What's happening?

TRAVIS: If that's my movement, I will hold my attacks if this, what is it called again? Kagaronk?

LAURA: Kagaronk.

TALIESIN: Kagaronk's going to fuck us up.

TRAVIS: So I'll hold my attacks--

MARISHA: ♪ Down in Kagaronk ♪

MARISHA, SAM: (two claps)

LAURA and ASHLEY: ♪ Down in Kagaronk ♪

TRAVIS: If it comes within melee range. I'll actually take the wood chisel and draw it across my forearm and just, (growls) getting ready for it.

MATT: All right, and as that happens, a second light source appears in the vicinity as you now see this flame erupt across the wood chisel in the middle of the wolven form of Chetney.

TRAVIS: (deeply) Get some.

LIAM: Are we speeding and this thing is running alongside, or has it halted us?

MATT: Oh, it's running alongside you guys.

LAURA: Oh, it's fast.

MATT: You can see the multiple legs, and while the form here doesn't, elements of it look like a scaled leopard with multiple legs, and you notice that it's moving a lot quicker than you expected. You don't know if it'll be able to keep up with you based on the pace that you keep, but at the very least, it's fast.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: But finishing Chetney's go, as you're prepped on that, that now brings us to Laudna.

MARISHA: All right, I'm going to advance.

MATT: All right.

SAM, LIAM: (laugh)

MATT: Click.

MARISHA: Then can I advance diagonally and try and cut him off and set up Chet?

MATT: You can, yeah.

SAM: Oh god.

TALIESIN: That brings you within melee, doesn't it?

MATT: It does.

MARISHA: Then next, I can't do anything else, right? That was my move, unless I--

TRAVIS: You can do a bonus action to accelerate, but I'll take my two swipes.

LAURA: Is this little guy off to the side--

MATT: Do it.

TALIESIN: -- to take your two swipes and then accelerate.

TRAVIS: Yay!

MARISHA: Because you held your action?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: Sick.

LIAM: That's just a glitch in the Matrix.

LAURA: Is it? Is that a glitch in the Matrix, the guy running up to attack us right now?

MATT: Oh yeah, no.

SAM: That's that old Paragon.

MATT: That's the guy that died.

SAM: Hey! Come back here!

ASHLEY: I'm back!

TALIESIN: Oh, is that still up there?

LIAM: I feel fine.

MATT: This is still left out.

TALIESIN: Okay.

TRAVIS: That's 19 to hit on the first swipe.

MATT: 19 hits.

TALIESIN: Nice.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LIAM: I don't got anything--

TRAVIS: One-- 20 to hit.

MATT: Both hit! Go ahead and roll damage.

TRAVIS: Okay, attacks. Oh, because I have advantage on these strikes in my wolf form, do I also get to use (pants) sneak attack?

MARISHA: It's a dark tunnel.

TRAVIS: On one of them?

MATT: You have advantage on because of what? Your?

TRAVIS: Because it's a strength check in my wolf form.

MATT: Well, you don't get to do attacks. You get to do strength checks.

TRAVIS: Oh, let me reroll these.

MATT: Okay, sorry. (laughs)

TRAVIS: That's all right. So that's 18 to hit on the first one.

MATT: That still hits.

TRAVIS: So okay, second one. 17.

MATT: 17 hits as well.

TRAVIS: Hey, cool. So no sneak attack you-- (grumbles)

MATT: No sneak attack right now because people are-- he's not fully pincered between--

TRAVIS: That makes sense. 12 and 14 for a total of ♪ 26 plus four points ♪ ♪ Of Crimson Rite ♪ damage tha tha that ♪ 28. No, 26.

MATT: 26, it's 30.

TRAVIS: 30, thank you.

MATT: 30 points of damage. What a round, nice.

TRAVIS: 30 points! (growls)

MATT: As you hack through it with your claw and your wood chisel. You strike them both in the face as it's running. Its eyes, with really bright green lights at the front of it suddenly go dark as it winces backward. They open up again and "(growls)."

MARISHA: Uh-oh.

MATT: With the speed that you're traveling, the force of its scream still, you feel the spittle hit you and you're like, "That's scary and impressive." You're down for it. All righty.

TRAVIS: (high-pitched) Press it! (deeply) Accelerate, accelerate!

MARISHA: Oh, do I still have one more? Am I able to still accelerate?

TRAVIS: And your movement--

MATT: If you want to, yeah. You get one more.

MARISHA: I will accelerate now that Chet has done his thing.

MATT: Okay, I'll get you one more up this way.

MARISHA: Yep.

MATT: You got it, okay. Now it comes to the kagaronk's turn.

SAM: Oh boy.

MATT: It is furious and it's going to--

TALIESIN: Now it's in the circle.

MATT: Now it's in the circle so it make a wisdom save against your-- That was a two. It fails. Full damage from you, Fresh Cut Grass.

ASHLEY: Nice.

SAM: Seven.

MARISHA: Come on.

SAM: 10. 15!

LAURA: Yeah!

MARISHA: Nice, nice.

MATT: 15 points of damage to it. Hell yeah. Okay as it (grunts) comes forward and it is going to tear into you.

TRAVIS: But I'm going to be invisible.

MATT: So it's going to make-- That's a 20 to hit.

TRAVIS: Is that with disadvantage?

MATT: Why would that have?

TRAVIS: Wolfman's invisible.

MATT: Oh, but no, you attacked him which means you lost your invisibility.

TRAVIS: Oh shit! That's right! (laughter) Fuck! It's all in the details! He definitely hits.

MATT: It's all good, okay. The second attack is a 24.

SAM: He's like, "No one can see me up here up here."

MATT: All right.

SAM: "Oh, there's something."

TRAVIS: I'm doing great. (laughter) Why can I see my hands?

MATT: All righty, so you take-- 19 points of... piercing damage for its bite.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: Plus an additional, which you take half of that because you're in wolf form.

TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Plus an additional six points of poison damage.

TRAVIS: Which I take all of.

MATT: I need you to make the poison saving throw. Constitution saving throw, sorry.

TRAVIS: Constitution. Eww, it's a nine.

MATT: Nine, you are poisoned, which means you have disadvantage on attacks until you get rid of the poison or shrug it off at the end of your turn. Then it's going to strike with its claws at you directly after that.

TALIESIN: Oh shit.

MATT: Oh, no, I already rolled damage-- I rolled to hit for that. The damage on this as the claws both rake out towards you and find purchase on your chest is--

TALIESIN: They're not within 15 feet of me, never mind.

MARISHA: Correct, yeah.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: 26 points of slashing damage.

TRAVIS: Halved to 13?

MATT: Halved to 13 because your wolf form. That's going to end its go as it's-- (claws scraping) Yeah, it's up upon you now as you guys are slowing down a little bit, and it's starting to tear into you.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: All right, next that comes to Imogen, with FCG on deck.

LAURA: All right, I'm going to hold onto the reins just in case Ashton goes crazy again and cast Witch Bolt on it.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: At 2nd-level.

MATT: At 2nd-level, go for it. Roll for an attack.

LAURA: That would be-- 14 plus seven is 21 to hit.

MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

LAURA: Okay, 2d12?

MATT: 2d12.

LAURA: 17.

MATT: 17 points of damage, awesome. (crackling) As the energy arcs into it and then gets stuck into it, you can see this deep, violet energy. It's (crackling) arcing around it as the Witch Bolt is now latched to its life force.

LAURA: I'm just holding onto the reins and shooting out my hand with the other. I'm trying to hold on to it.

MATT: Just holding onto it? Hell yeah. All right, does that finish your turn?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay, end of your turn it's going to use a Legendary Action. (noises of dismay)

TRAVIS: Oh, I'm sorry--

LAURA: We wiped out all the other drivers that would have taken any of these hits.

TRAVIS: I'm sorry.

MATT: It's going to use all of its Legendary Actions, actually. All three to use a tail whirlwind strike. As it's running, it leaps in the air. It puts its front legs in a lower position suddenly like it's starting to skid to a stop and then the back of it spins. As it whirls, its tail, whoosh! Whips around. It's going to hit everyone on that vehicle and the drivers on these. It's not going to hit the back row.

TALIESIN: Does my Gravity Well work on that or no?

MATT: It would not. It doesn't make much of difference.

SAM: Wow, that is ferocious.

TALIESIN: Anything within 15 feet of me, but it's not 15 feet in its range.

MATT: It's not within 15 feet, but it has a range of 20 feet on the tail.

TALIESIN: Fuck a duck.

LAURA: Oh man.

MATT: So to that point, against-- Here, I'll roll damage for it first.

LIAM: Oh yeah.

MATT: I'm going to get these here.

TRAVIS: Damn.

TALIESIN: Shit, fuck. (laughter)

SAM: You're driving.

MARISHA: I am driving.

MATT: That is 24 to hit against FCG.

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: Okay, you take 16 points of slashing damage as this tail spike is going to streak across you and then arc over to the rest of the vehicle. Laudna, you have Blur on so that'll be 16.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that hits.

MATT: Okay, you also take 16 points of slashing damage.

MARISHA: Okay.

TALIESIN: Oof.

LIAM: Whoa.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: You, Fjord, that is going to be a 17 to hit.

TRAVIS: Misses!

MATT: Misses?

TRAVIS: Misses.

MATT: You duck underneath it as it streaks past you. Ashton, that is a 24 to hit.

TALIESIN: It hits, but halved because I am raging.

MATT: Indeed, so you take eight points of bludgeoning damage. And then Orym. That is going to be a 19 to hit.

LIAM: Just hits, yeah.

MATT: So you take 16 points of bludgeoning damage. All right, that finishes the Legendary Actions. Now it goes to FCG's turn, with Orym on deck.

SAM: Well, this would have helped last turn maybe, but--

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SAM: I can't do anything because I can't see anything.

MATT: Yeah. (laughter)

TRAVIS: What dumbass drove up in front of there?

MATT: You're just helpless and screaming.

SAM: I don't even know who's driving right now.

ERIKA: Oh no! (laughter)

MATT: I'd say for this point--

SAM: I think it's Laudna because the left blinker's been on for a while. (laughter)

LAURA: You fucking dick.

MARISHA: This is so exhilarating! Woo hoo!

SAM: Sorry, Matt, you were going to say something.

MATT: I was saying at the end of this turn, I'm going to have you make a concentration check, because you've been cruising through space and bumping into stuff, to see if you can maintain this thing.

SAM: Sure, sure.

MATT: I should probably should have had that happen a few times.

SAM: I really can't do anything.

MATT: You can hold an action, if you want to.

SAM: So I think I'll do a bonus action.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: What I call Shield of Help. I don't need to see my target, but I will cast it on Lau-oo-eedna. (laughter) It's concentration so--

MATT: So you do lose this.

SAM: I'm going to lose the Spirit Turtles.

LAURA: Oh, the Spirit Guardians.

SAM: But you get a +2 to your AC.

MARISHA: Oh, great. Grand.

MATT: So keep that in mind.

SAM: For a while.

MARISHA: Okay.

SAM: Then I could hold an action, but I only have my saw blade loaded, and I can't hold a spell since that was a spell. So can I use my action to maybe swap out the saw blade for the grapple cannon?

MATT: Sure, I'll allow that.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: All right, Orym, you're up.

LIAM: Okay, I'm going to come on a diagonal this way, so I can try to get out and to the side a bit. Okay, and as he's revving the bike forward, he's reaching down to the back of his boot, and he pulls two daggers out. I'm going to throw them at the same time (wind whipping) towards its eyes.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: The first one's going to be a goading attack.

MATT: Go for it.

LIAM: That's an 18 plus stuff, so that hits.

MATT: That definitely hits.

LIAM: It-- he-- that creature has to do a DC wisdom 16.

MATT: That is going to be a 12.

LIAM: Okay, so--

MATT: If it attacks anybody but you, it has disadvantage.

LIAM: Disadvantage, it's pissed at me.

MATT: You got it. (growls)

LIAM: The attack is-- ♪ Doo bee doop ♪ Doing simple addition, hold on. That is six plus the d8. Two is a 10 and then I will throw the other dagger. That is an 18 to hit.

MATT: 18 hits.

LIAM: Does hit, okay.

MATT: It's a big beast. It's got some hide to it but it's-- If not for the Light spell, you'd have a much harder time hitting this thing right now.

LIAM: Actually, the second blade, instead of-- The first one will go at its face and the second one, I will just throw at one of its legs.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: I'll make this a trip attack.

MATT: Sure, yeah, good.

LIAM: That's a strength. Much better chance, but DC 16.

MATT: That is 14. Even with its huge bonus. It rolled low.

LIAM: So it's down.

MATT: Oh man.

LAURA: Oh, that's good.

MATT: One--

TALIESIN: Going to be interesting.

LIAM: I have a six.

LAURA: Uh-oh.

TRAVIS: Swerve and drive.

LIAM: Six, that's 14 damage.

TALIESIN: Actually, thankfully we're a little--

MATT: Okay, 14 points of damage.

TALIESIN: Yeah, we're not directly--

MATT: As it suddenly trips. As one of its shoulder blades curls underneath it and it (impacts pounding) begins to spin over right in front of you.

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: Thankfully, you're next as it's beginning to run, its body started to tumble in your direction. That finish your turn?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Ashton, what are you doing?

TALIESIN: I'm going to try and check to the left and check to the right and see if I can knock it by rolling around it.

MATT: Okay. I will say, make a dexterity saving throw for me with advantage, as you're trying to make sure that you can pull out of the way at the last minute.

ASHLEY: Ow! (laughter)

TALIESIN: Oh yeah, 16, 17, 18, 19.

MATT: You're fine. You manage just yank to the side, and part of its tail swings wide and scrapes against the side of the armor of your vehicle and it sparks for a moment and just (impacts landing) falls even further behind.

ASHLEY: Nice!

MATT: To about there. So that's your two movements there.

TALIESIN: Now I'm going to take my third.

MATT: Up to there, you got it. You hear it screaming and flailing about. That finishes your turn, Ashton. Dusk.

ERIKA: Describe to me the terrain that we see up ahead.

MATT: Make a perception check, if you'd like.

ERIKA: All right.

LIAM: Brake and lift by FCG.

ERIKA: We'll see.

MARISHA: That was dirty, wow.

TRAVIS: That was dirty. That was a tease.

ERIKA: Nine.

MATT: Nine. Best you can make out is, as you're moving ahead and rounding the corner, you can see a bunch of stalactites, stalagmites on the floor. You can see a rock archway across a point and that's about it, and you're cruising through that.

ERIKA: All right.

LIAM: The base.

ERIKA: I'm going to hold until we get past the exit of the cavern.

MATT: Okay. What are you holding?

ERIKA: Eldritch Blasts.

MATT: Got it, okay.

SAM: (like Fjord) Eldritch.

MATT: So. For the purposes of this, the creature has been knocked down, and for the next round, has to spend half its movement to get up. It is falling behind, and if the drivers were to continue forward, right now, it has lost its lead. It is not moving as fast as a triple-moving vehicle. So as you all continue rounding the corners you see it get back up and it's running and running. As it turns, you can hear growling and snarling and barking behind you, but the green lights of its eyes draw further and further back until you don't see them any more. Right as (whooshes) it opens up into the comparable bright light, though it is a post-dusk evening. As the night is getting darker, compared to where you were, it's still a little bit brighter. As you glance outward-- You said you were holding your Eldritch Blasts for when we exited the cavern.

ERIKA: Yes. Now that we have light, do I see? We're going back up. The switchways are there. There are creatures around the ravine. That was just where we were?

MATT: Correct.

ERIKA: Now we have to go back up on the--

TRAVIS: Switchbacks?

ERIKA: Switchbacks.

LAURA: For the climb?

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: I can almost see it.

TRAVIS: ♪ The climb ♪

MATT: You can see ahead of you. The switchback now begins to curl back up the side of the cliff.

ERIKA: Just to be safe, then, I fire back an Eldritch Blast onto the stalactites, ceiling ones.

MATT: All right, you got two strikes. The same one or two separate ones?

ERIKA: Two separate ones.

MATT: Okay. Roll for an attack for each.

MARISHA: ♪ Bring it down, bring it down ♪

TRAVIS: Exactly.

ERIKA: 15 and--

MATT: That hits.

ERIKA: -- 19.

MATT: Both hit! Go ahead and roll damage on each.

ERIKA: Okay.

MATT: You need eight damage to knock one down.

ERIKA: Oh, okay.

MATT: So see what you roll. Oh-- Oh shit, I realized I've been rolling with the wrong hit die. That was the wrong damage dice. Six. So one cracks you see it's still holding there. The other one?

ERIKA: Nine.

LAURA: Yeah!

MATT: Nine points of damage. You slam the base of the other one (cracking) and it falls, right as you begin to see the green lights begin to reemerge. (growls) (impact landing) It slams onto its back, head, and shoulders and it streaks into the ground a bit and stops and starts shaking its head stunned by the moment and giving you guys even further lead.

ERIKA: Whew!

MATT: As you begin to head up the first switchback up the climb, which as you start pushing up, you can feel the energy capsules underneath that run these machines begin to pulse brighter as it's now having to (energy revving) trying to use and expend more energy to come up at the incline. You notice this because of your high passive wisdom or high passive perception. As you're turning the corner, you do see, up on one of the upper platforms, two figures pushing a large rock in a waiting position that immediately begins to (crashing).

TRAVIS: That's fun.

MATT: Down in your direction. I would like to have all the drivers making a dexterity saving throw for me, please.

MARISHA: Is this your All-Minds-Burn people that are a little late to the party?

TALIESIN: No, they know better.

LIAM: Can I dicker for advantage--

MARISHA: Do they?

LIAM: -- since I saw in advance.

SAM: They're drug addicts!

MATT: I'll say yes because of your high passive perception, sure.

LIAM: Thank you.

TALIESIN: They don't know better, actually. 17.

MATT: 17, okay.

LIAM: 21.

MARISHA: You said dex saving throw?

TRAVIS: N-n-n-nineteen!

MATT: 19!

TRAVIS: Oh, I'm not driving.

SAM: You're not driving.

ERIKA: Oh!

MARISHA: You're driving. I'm driving. You said dex saving throw?

MATT: Dexterity saving throw, yes.

MARISHA: 11.

MATT: Okay, so--

LAURA: An 11!

TRAVIS: (deeply) What the fuck's going on?

MARISHA: This is my first time! It's so thrilling!

MATT: The two of you pull out of the way as you turn around that hairpin to head back up the first major incline. Laudna, spinning around, doesn't quite notice as the boulder--

MARISHA: I drift. I drift.

SAM: She's drifting.

TALIESIN: Can I use my reaction to try and pull them out of it?

ERIKA: Blue sparks, blue sparks!

TALIESIN: Can I burn my last Chaos Burst to try and pull them closer to me as we round the turn?

LAURA: Ooh!

MATT: I'll allow it. I'll say I need you to... Huh, this is interesting.

TALIESIN: I know, right?

MATT: I'll say, because this is reactionary time, to use your ability, you will spend that last feature, but I also need you to make another dexterity saving throw without advantage because this is to quick react after quickly reacting from something else.

TALIESIN: Let's go, let's go.

LAURA: Ah, ah!

TALIESIN: Come on. Saving throw, or--?

MATT: This is a saving throw to be like, "Oh, shit!" React. So I just need a 12 or higher.

TALIESIN: 13 plus three, 16.

LAURA: Yes!

MATT: Right as the boulder (thuds) You see the shadow loom over you, Laudna, as it begins to come down, before you feel the entire vehicle get shunted to the side in the direction of Ashton. The two vehicles do collide as part of this impact.

MARISHA: Chetney!

MATT: So both of your vehicles do take 11 points of bludgeoning damage, reduced to five.

TRAVIS: I got it.

MATT: But you are pulled out of the perspective of this as the boulder then careens off the edge and down into the deeper part of the ravine, and the two figures vanish from the upper level, where they were.

MARISHA: The bike is sentient! Just like you, FCG!

SAM: Who's talking to me?

TALIESIN: For fuck's sake!

MATT: Cruising up around the next hairpin. At this point, the wind has been picking up. You didn't notice until this point, because you just had the wind blowing in your face, but now you can see before the race even started, some of the clouds that had been pulling in, but the wind is starting to whip up.

LAURA: Oh god.

MATT: More and more.

MARISHA: Oh shit.

ASHLEY: May I, at the end of the last quarter mile of the finish line, I want to start looking around to see if anybody's laying traps, if there's anything that could mess them up.

MARISHA: Yes, queen.

ASHLEY: Watch people, see if they're doing anything.

MATT: Well, the dust storm that begins to kick up from the raising winds of the in-blown storm begins to obscure vision around some of the space of the climb here. Where you are, two people are starting to put cloths over their mouths and starting to back away from the visibility, and you can see those who are watching the race specifically, who are part of the platforms out there, are shining heavy lights down to make sure that they can see whoever comes to the finish line first in spite of this low visibility. But you can make a perception check for me, if you don't mind.

ASHLEY: Okay. 17.

MATT: 17. Okay, yeah. You do notice, in the middle of this dust storm as things are going, which happened very suddenly, two figures are covering their mouths and they're dragging these wooden platforms out into the middle of the roadway.

TRAVIS: Speed strips.

LIAM: Yep.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: Okay. The rest of you who are climbing, the visibility is starting to get a little intense as you're pulling up and pulling up the side. About this time, as you guys are getting up on the last bend of the climb, you hear a (roars) and leaping and climbing up off the side of this cliff, a heavily beaten and bloodied kagaronk is still angrily chasing.

MARISHA: Another one? That same one?

MATT: The same one. But while you guys were going around the switchbacks, it climbed up the side of the cliff to cut you off.

LAURA: Dick!

MATT: So as you all are now, we'll say--

LAURA: He's a cutie, though.

MATT: Comparatively here, cruising up in this space, and you would be probably aside from this point here. It has come to cut you off once more. (growls) All right.

LAURA: Last stand!

MATT: So it's just getting up over the side of the cliff. At the top of the round, Chetney, you're up first. What are you doing?

TRAVIS: I will hold my... Actually, I'm going to hold a dodge.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: If he comes within melee.

MATT: You got it. All righty. So, holding your dodge, that brings us to Laudna, then the kagaronk's turn. Laudna.

MARISHA: Laudna... What the fuck is Laudna going to do? Laudna does not want to get hit anymore. Laudna loudly...

LAURA: Loud-na loudly!

MARISHA: Loudly, Laudn-ley.

MATT: Oh god.

MARISHA: Exclaims: Be ready to take the wheel in case I die! I'm going to actually get behind-- I'm going to shift behind Dusk and Orym.

MATT: Okay. Wait, shift behind... Oh, the vehicle, I see.

MARISHA: Sorry, sorry, you know what? Pull forward. Let me pull forward. Yep, pull forward, and I'll go diagonally in front of them.

MATT: You got it. That's your movement. Bonus? And your action.

MARISHA: Do you want to get involved, Chet?

TRAVIS: Your call. Do what you got to do. If we're all bunched up, that tail whip's a bitch, is all I'll say.

MARISHA: That tail whip's a bitch.

TRAVIS: You could keep going further wide.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, that's a good idea. I'll take another diagonal, yeah.

MATT: Okay, you got it. All right, that finishes your go. Now it is the creature's turn. It's going to try and move this way to cut off this space.

SAM: Oh no!

MATT: Rushing up to here. It's now going to go ahead and, since it did move at least 20 feet straight forward, it gets its pounce strike against you, so it's going to attempt to hit you with a claw attack. That is going to be an 18 to hit.

TRAVIS: That misses, or actually it hits, because I don't have my mallet out.

MATT: But you were holding your dodge, right?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: So if you use your dodge, that means it has disadvantage on the strike.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: That was higher, so 18 hits, right? Okay, so you dodge and try and move out of the way, but its ferocity of its now wounded state and the scent for blood in its nostrils, it leaps towards you, strikes you with its claws, hard as it can. You take... Not great. Ugh, that was bad. 12 points of slashing damage, reduced to six.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay.

MATT: But I need you to make a strength saving throw or be knocked off the vehicle.

TRAVIS: Which I have advantage on.

MATT: You do.

TRAVIS: Okay.

TALIESIN: Oh boy!

TRAVIS: 18.

MATT: 18's enough.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: You feel as it strikes you with the claw, the momentum of it, the impact of it, throws you backward, and you put your claws outward and hit the metal and cause these streak marks as your claws actually push through the metallic, armored side of the vehicle to stop yourself from being pushed off the car entirely.

LAURA: Sick.

TRAVIS: (deeply) What the fuck? (laughter)

MATT: So that was its multi- attack with its claws. Now with its bite, it's going to strike towards you, Laudna, since you're right there.

LIAM: Jeepers creepers!

SAM: Here we go.

MARISHA: Blur.

MATT: Yes, Blur.

TALIESIN: Yeah, also cover.

MARISHA: Do I have half cover because I'm in the seat?

MATT: You do have half cover, which is an additional two AC, so it would be a 17 to hit. With the plus two, does that hit you or not?

MARISHA: With the plus two, and then I also have a plus two--

MATT: From FCG, that's right, so that's plus four.

SAM: She has an armor class of 17.

MATT: Exactly? Still hits you.

ASHLEY: Oh no, oh no!

TALIESIN: Even with half cover? Ah!

MATT: The half cover gives her plus two.

TALIESIN: Ah, fuck.

TRAVIS: Blur gives plus two AC?

MATT: Blur is disadvantage, and it rolled twice pretty decently.

TALIESIN: Goddamn it.

MATT: But that was a good check. It was off by one!

LIAM: Thanks a lot, Blur.

ERIKA: Oh my god!

MATT: All righty, so with that, that is 12 points of piercing damage to you, Laudna.

LAURA: Oh god.

TRAVIS: This is going to get real interesting real quick.

MARISHA: All right.

MATT: 12 points of piercing damage.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: Plus eight points of poison damage.

MARISHA: Okay, well, 12 takes me down.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: But it's all the same impact, so it's 20 points total.

MATT: Correct.

SAM: The poison doesn't come as a second attack.

MATT: No. So you are just unconscious. So as it bites into Laudna and tears itself away--

MARISHA: Well, the reason I was asking for the one, too, is because of my Strength of the Grave.

MATT: Oh gosh, yeah, it's all one strike, so Strength of the Grave, which is--

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: We got a problem here.

MARISHA: I got to roll real high, okay, because Strength of the Grave is... If it reduces me to zero, make a charisma saving throw, DC five plus the damage taken.

SAM: 20.

MATT: So yeah, so five plus the damage taken is 24, so you have to roll a natural 20. 19 or 20, because you're plus four charisma? Plus five charisma?

MARISHA: I'm plus seven charisma-- no.

SAM: Yeah?

MARISHA: Yeah. Well, plus four charisma.

MATT: Oh, plus a charisma saving throw?

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay. Yeah, so you need to roll a 17 or higher.

TRAVIS: To, what, stabilize?

SAM: Wait, so it's five plus 20 that she has to beat?

MARISHA: Then I don't go down.

MATT: Five plus 19, I think it is.

MARISHA: Then I don't go down.

LIAM: Just do that.

MATT: So it's 11 plus eight.

ERIKA: Just do it.

LAURA: Roll a 17 or higher.

ASHLEY: Do you have Guidance?

ERIKA: It's easy. Just do it.

TALIESIN: Don't even look.

MARISHA: Nope, 11. Rolled an 11.

TRAVIS: It was just enough of a structure to look like it.

MARISHA: It almost did, it almost did.

MATT: It was worth a shot.

MARISHA: 18, then to an 11.

MATT: And with that--

MARISHA: Laudna's down!

MATT: Laudna's unconscious and slumps forward in the driver's seat, and the vehicle immediately begins to careen to one side as she leans into one side of the controls.

TRAVIS: What the fuck?

SAM: Someone turn me! (laughter)

MATT: All right, Imogen, you're up.

LAURA: Could I see that happen, through...

TALIESIN: I mean...

MATT: Yeah, the dust storm-- you basically can see 30 to 60 feet beyond not very well. 30 feet, you know, lightly obscured. It begins to get more heavily obscured at this point. So I guess, from where you're standing, no, you do not see this happen. You just see the creature attacking that vehicle.

TALIESIN: Not that we didn't know it was getting all fucked up anyway.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

TALIESIN: I'm turning that way in a second, anyway.

LAURA: Yeah, I'm going to use my last Lightning Bolt and try to cut straight through it.

MATT: Okay, so you go ahead and unleash--

MARISHA: I did say out loud I was about to die but really, probably only these two heard me.

MATT: That is a natural 18, so yeah, it's a 22 on its dex save.

LAURA: It's kind of dextrous. Oh, I didn't mean to roll those dice. Ignore that.

MATT: That's okay. So it takes half damage. But go ahead and roll for your lightning as you streak out through.

LAURA: Okay. Yeah, I should've taken it.

MARISHA: Just a little.

LAURA: Okay. That's pretty good. 10. 15. 21. 27. 31, 33, 35.

MATT: 35. That's a great roll, actually.

LAURA: But still halved.

MATT: But still halved. That's still 17, which isn't bad at all. It strikes through it, and you can see a couple of its legs buckle for a minute, and we'll say for the purposes that it does slow slightly. I think I broke off the thing, but yeah. Accidentally snapped that. That's okay. But yes, that's your action. Is that your turn?

LAURA: For my bonus action, I am going to convert three of my sorcery points back into a 3rd-level spell.

MATT: You got it, boom. Put that back in. End of your turn, it's going to use a legendary action.

SAM: No way.

LIAM: This motherfucker.

MATT: To make another claw attack. This one is going to be against you again since you're the closest one to it.

TALIESIN: Shit.

MATT: You still did the dodge action, so it's still disadvantage on the strikes.

TRAVIS: Oh, that's fucking lucky.

MATT: At least till the end of your next turn.

TRAVIS: Whatever the DM says.

SAM: Luckin' fucky.

MATT: Taking the dodge action til the end of your next turn, all attacks against you have disadvantage.

TRAVIS: I totally knew that.

MATT: That's okay. It's good to remember. So that puts it at an 18 to hit.

TRAVIS: 18 is the AC because I didn't bring the mallet out.

MATT: That's right.

TRAVIS: Got to get that fucking mallet out as the shield, fuck!

MATT: I know, a shield is helpful. All right, so with that, time to go ahead and do... What am I doing with that?

TALIESIN: We got to be done over there.

TRAVIS: Got to remember to bring the damn hammer out. Chisel, hammer!

MATT: 14 points of slashing damage against you, reduced to eight.

TRAVIS: Seven.

MATT: Seven, you're right. That's going to finish that legendary action. Finishing up that, FCG, then Orym.

SAM: Am I careening into anything?

MATT: At the moment, no. You are about to head up the last hairpin turn before climbing up the rest of the cliff side.

SAM: But is she steering me?

MATT: Oh, actually no, you're right, because you're driving it.

MARISHA: Does that make sense?

MATT: So yeah, it's starting to-- it was about to turn in the hairpin, and now it's just starting to turn into the cliff wall.

SAM: Into the cliff wall?

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: Is there anything-- I mean, I assume I was fastened in there in a way that I can't control, I can't autopilot, but-- so there's a cliff wall on this side.

MATT: So here's the thing--

SAM: Is there a cliff wall on the other side, too?

MATT: It would be on the left side as you turn into it, but you'll be climbing with it. You are the wheel, and whenever the vehicle's being turned, you're being rotated to guide it.

SAM: Sure, sure, sure.

MATT: Because the back legs are pushing it forward. It's pushing forward, so you're like, "Ah!" Screaming as it shoves you through the dirt.

ASHLEY: That's hilarious.

MATT: So you can try and guide it, if you'd like to.

TALIESIN: You also don't have a concentration spell up anymore because you just felt it drop.

SAM: That's true.

LAURA: Oh.

MARISHA: That's true.

SAM: Is there anything-- So I'm slowly getting towards the wall. Is there anything to the opposite side of the wall? Another wall, or an object, or--

MATT: It's a cliff that goes down into the lower road that you were just on, so it's-- we'll say, a 20-foot drop.

SAM: Okay, okay, okay, okay. 20-foot drop. Nothing to hold onto or grab. I guess as my action, I will... Wait, I can't see behind me. Good gravy. How about this?

ASHLEY: Gravy!

SAM: I'm pointed more left than I want to be, right?

MATT: Yeah, starting to turn into the wall.

SAM: Okay, I've got a grapple cannon. Can I point it behind me?

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Not at the driver, but--

MATT: Finish her off.

SAM: -- and shoot it into the vehicle and try to pull myself to right myself.

MATT: Yeah, I can allow that. You don't have to aim for it, you fire into the vehicle, but it will be a strength check to try and pull the vehicle turn.

SAM: Sure.

MATT: As you reach behind, fire the grappling hook, and it gets tangled up into the metal. You feel it pull taut, and now roll strength check to try and rotate it.

TALIESIN: You can Bless.

SAM: I didn't, though.

TALIESIN: Motherfucker.

SAM: Strength is plus one, that's 17.

MATT: You needed a 15 to do this. So you pull, and you rotate yourself by yanking on it.

SAM: Sparks, sparks!

MATT: You're starting to feel the metallic elements of your shoulder begin to twist a little bit and the metal begins to creak of your own body, but as you pull and pull, you end up, the wheel, your wheel, hits the edge of the wall, but as opposed to slamming into it, you actually glide up the side and you end up kind arcing along it before bringing it back down and then releasing it.

TRAVIS: Dope!

MATT: While you're still flailing, unconscious, at the controls.

SAM: Sensing that I'm no longer tethered to her-- Well, see, here's the thing.

TRAVIS: "See, here's the thing."

SAM: I can't do a Healing Word. I can't see her. I can't do a Cure Wounds. I can't touch her.

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: If I am bound to her with Sympathetic Binding, I am allowed to pump a few temporary hit points into her.

MATT: Correct.

SAM: But I don't know if I'm bound to someone who's unconscious.

MATT: Right. You can still get temporary hit points while unconscious. I'll allow it, because you're just--

SAM: Temporary hit points can pull you out of being--

MATT: No, but it'll prevent her from taking more damage if she takes less than that amount, your call.

SAM: I'll try it. It's all I've got.

MATT: All right, so unconscious Laudna, you get--

LAURA: Don't you have that thing that gives healing to anybody in your vicinity or something?

SAM: You're right! You're right!

TALIESIN: Oh yeah! Oh my god, yes! Do you have that?

SAM: I do, but I just fucking used my action to shoot my fucking thing.

MATT: ♪ ("The Price is Right" losing sound) ♪

SAM: Womp womp!

TALIESIN: Next turn.

LAURA: Next turn, next turn.

TRAVIS: Yes, this is the best.

TALIESIN: In the meantime--

MARISHA: I'll be be okay. I'm not worried about me.

TRAVIS: No regerts!

MARISHA: No regerts, no regerts.

TRAVIS: No regerts.

SAM: So bonus action, I pump how many temporary hit points into her?

TALIESIN: Every little bit helps.

LAURA: ♪ Every little bit of temporary hit points! ♪

SAM: Are you singing "Every Little Thing"?

MARISHA: Are you trying to go for "Every Little Thing is Magic"? ♪ Everything she do just ♪ keeps me from dying ♪

SAM: Oh, it's just four.

TRAVIS: All four of you are floundering in your own efforts. That was awful. Seven years and that's the best y'all can do?

SAM: Sting just called.

ERIKA: They all did it together.

TRAVIS: (badly) ♪ Every little thing ♪ ♪ you do is hit points ♪ (laughter) Oh my god.

SAM: So I'll give her four temporary hit points.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Which does not bring her back to life?

MATT: Nope.

SAM: I didn't know how it works!

MATT: That's okay.

MARISHA: Yeah. This is wild. I've never seen this before. My new HP is zero, but my new temp hit points are four.

MATT: Yay!

MARISHA: So, yeah.

MATT: All right.

ERIKA: So temp hit points don't bring you up?

MARISHA: I guess not.

SAM: Doing that, I'm starting to wobble a little bit.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Just up front.

MATT: Okay. So with that, the end of your turn. Second legendary action. It's going to take another claw attack at you.

ERIKA: You're kidding me.

MATT: This thing's angry at you. It's hurt real bad, but it's real angry. That's going to be a 21 to hit.

TRAVIS: Sure does.

MATT: You take--

TALIESIN: Disadvantage?

TRAVIS: Oh, is the dodge still--?

MATT: That's right. Dodge's still there, sorry. It's cocked. That's going to make a 16.

TRAVIS: It misses! (cheering)

MATT: There you go. So after the first couple strikes, it comes down again, but you can see it's trying to keep up and it's wounded and bleeding, and it reaches out with its claw a second time, and this time, you (whoosh) move out of the way, and then hold onto the vehicle to hold yourself steady. Okay, finishing that, that brings us to Orym's turn, with Ashton on deck.

LIAM: I see how fucked up things look there, so I'm going to use my movement to actually skid to a halt, go (vroom) right up to it, and go (thunk) with my blade.

MATT: Oh, sick.

ERIKA: Akira bike slide!

MATT: I love it.

LAURA: That's awesome.

MATT: Hell yeah, Akira slide up with the blade out. I love it.

LIAM: This is a goading attack. That is a 16.

ERIKA: Somebody's angry!

LIAM: 16.

MATT: 16? 16 is exactly what you needed.

LAURA: Yes!

LIAM: Okay, so it's got to beat a--

ASHLEY: That's so cool.

LIAM: It's got to beat, oh, I should have this memorized. 16 wisdom.

MATT: 16 wisdom. Natural 17.

LIAM: Okay, I pull it out, whip, slide it right back in and use my last Superiority Die. That is even higher to hit. It's got to beat a 16.

MATT: Okay. That is going to be a 14.

LIAM: 14, all right, so. Disadvantage against everyone but me, and I'll roll damage for both of those attacks. Five plus five is 10. 11, damn it. Six, this one's 11. 16, so 11 plus 16.

MATT: 27.

LIAM: And I want to (impacts) into the same spot.

MATT: You got it, and just stab twice, and blood gouts out, and it curls back into itself for a second. Its eyes glance over at you intently. It's looking really rough.

LIAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: So that's your movement, action.

LIAM: Movement, action, and I really don't want it to get any ideas, so I grind against it and go (engine revs).

SAM: You're grinding on it?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: There you go.

LAURA: Grind on it.

ASHLEY: Yeah, get it!

TALIESIN: Oh yeah.

MATT: You got it.

LAURA: Sex-ay.

MATT: Ashton, you're up, with Dusk on deck.

TALIESIN: Okay. I'm going to head straight towards it with my movement.

MATT: Actually, it does get a last legendary action. It's going to claw at you as you go by, because it's unhappy.

ASHLEY: How dare you.

MATT: Ooh, a natural 19. That's going to put it at a 28 to hit.

LAURA: Ooh, natural 19.

TALIESIN: Even with cover?

LAURA: Ooh, it's that grinding you were doing.

MATT: Yeah, I mean, 29 total.

TALIESIN: Yeah, okay, yeah.

MATT: So, with that--

TRAVIS: Excuse me, miss.

LAURA: It's all right.

MATT: Oh, that's 31 points of slashing damage to you.

TALIESIN: Whoa.

LIAM: Okay.

TALIESIN, LAURA: (groaning)

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: Rolled max die on both of his dice.

LIAM: Got it.

MATT: Whoosh, it gets vengeance on you angrily, and you feel the searing hot pain of the claws cut through you, but you continue to drive and keep it in space.

TRAVIS: Who did not clear the caves before the race?

MATT: All right, Ashton, you're up.

TALIESIN: I'm going to head diagonally towards that with my movement. Am I within striking distance?

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Am I?

MATT: Yeah, about there you're striking distance.

TALIESIN: Okay, and I don't suppose that you get advantage from flanking with something like this.

MATT: Flanking doesn't work quite the same way in the middle of a vehicle right here.

TALIESIN: Cool, and what am I going to do with this? Sorry, I should have--

ASHLEY: Mister and I are sitting on a curb, eating candy apples.

MATT: You got it. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Just waiting.

MARISHA: That's so cute.

ERIKA: It's the cutting back and forth.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: I wonder what they're doing!

TALIESIN: I can take some swings at this thing even though I'm driving, right?

MATT: Yeah, you can. You can lean up and head up towards--

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm going to reroll my rage one more time.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Fuck me, okay.

LIAM: One again?

TALIESIN: One again.

MARISHA: Still gravity?

TALIESIN: Yep, still gravity, and I'm going to take two reckless attacks at this thing.

MATT: Go for it. Roll with advantage.

TALIESIN: I'm holding on. I'm grabbing the hammer, and I'm going to give a wide swing. I almost Marisha'd there.

MATT: That's some Cloud Strife on the bike swing right there, that is. Woof, go for it.

TALIESIN: All right, just need to get this to disappear.

ASHLEY: Oh, he's standing. He's standing.

LIAM: Finish him.

TALIESIN: Don't crit on that yet. That's 27.

MATT: That definitely hits.

TALIESIN: And that's... Nine, 10, 12, 15 points of damage. 15, 16, 17 points of damage.

MATT: 17 points of damage. (impacts) One strike across.

TALIESIN: And it gets light again, and then it gets heavy and swings right back, and will hopefully throw me back into the driver's seat.

MATT: Got it. As the gravity swings it backward, it reverses, and then (whoosh) continues in a back swing.

TALIESIN: That's 20 to hit.

MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

TALIESIN: Six, seven, eight. 16 points of damage.

SAM: Whoa.

MATT: How do you want to do this? (cheering)

TALIESIN: I get its attention with that first back swing, and as it hopefully comes to take a look at me, the hammer is super light, and gets heavier and heavier and heavier and heavier, and it is going to cut through it like fucking butter.

MATT: As its mouth is opening, its jaw is out. Its large rows of fang-like teeth are dripping venom and open to bite towards your face. In a split second, in that brief little pause of time, you watch your hammer smash in the side of its jaw. Its whole head ripples off, crack! The jaw breaks, the top of the snout cracks apart, and you watch as the rest of its body follows through with the sudden burst of gravity that sends it careening off from the trajectory of your vehicle, and off the side, and rolling it through the dust storm, and off the side of the cliff.

ASHLEY: Yes!

TALIESIN: And I drop hard back into the cockpit, a little heavier than I should be.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Fuck.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: (cackles)

MATT: With that, Laudna is still unconscious, and the vehicle is like (engine shuddering).

LAURA: (stammering)

SAM: Is this the next round?

LAURA: Can we get up close to them?

ERIKA: You got to go get it.

MATT: There's no combat scenario thing now, but it's your turn.

ERIKA: All right. I'm going to get over to the other vehicle, and jump to where Laudna is.

MATT: You're going to leap here.

ERIKA: Yes.

MATT: Okay. Onto this side there. Go ahead and make an acrobatics check.

ERIKA: All right. 14.

MATT: 14, okay. It's close. You have to grab the edge of the metal and pull yourself along, and you almost slip off. It's not graceful, but you get there.

ERIKA: And I... cradle her head and use Lay on Hands.

MATT: Okay, all right.

LAURA: Oh, amazing.

MATT: How many hit points do you pump into that?

ERIKA: To get you back?

MARISHA: I mean, technically, just one to get me back.

TALIESIN, MARISHA: Technically.

ERIKA: You get one!

SAM: Oh, so generous.

MATT: There you go.

ERIKA: You get one.

MATT: You come to consciousness, (gasps) taking your breath, widely, glancing up, a little dazed, with the dust storm blowing past, and Dusk standing above you, holding the back of your head.

SAM: Oh, so sexy.

MARISHA: Is that-- Hi, hi. Hi!

ERIKA: You okay?

MARISHA: Yeah, I'm great.

ERIKA: Great. I'm going to go back to my vehicle.

MARISHA: Okay, I'm going to get back to driving.

ERIKA: Okay, good.

MARISHA: Okay, bye!

ERIKA: Bye.

LAURA: (giggles)

MATT: All right. Heading back to your car. (laughter) You pull back up towards the end of the climb of the ravine, and then head back into the backside of The Skids. Now, cruising through the vehicles, or cruising through the streets in your vehicles, you spin around a corner, spin around a corner. The dust storm is making it hard to see. You can see the barricades and barriers have been set up and pressed along the side, and, thankfully, they're helping guide you on the path where it's going. You and the rest of the crowd can hear the distant growl and hum of the vehicles getting closer and closer, and right at that moment, you see some of the people on the side look at each other, and they pull these chains, and as they do, the metal platforms that are out there suddenly lift up, and you watch as all these spears flip out on springs, and the majority of the area right before the finish line becomes a bladed barricade.

ASHLEY: Oh, oh, oh. Okay.

TALIESIN: Oh, boy.

ASHLEY: I don't know what I can do.

SAM: You know, use your barricade spell.

LAURA: You got your candy apple.

ASHLEY: That doesn't look very safe at all. Hopefully they make it! (laughter)

SAM: (like Fearne) I'd hate to be in this race.

ASHLEY: Wow, I'm so glad I wasn't on one of those.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: Perfect.

ASHLEY: Okay. How heavy is one of them?

MATT: The platform?

ASHLEY: One of them. Yeah, one of them.

TRAVIS: How far away is it from you, first of all?

ASHLEY: Well, I can get pretty close.

MARISHA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: I think.

TALIESIN: Wow.

MATT: The closest one to you is about a hundred feet away.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: It looks like it might weigh a couple hundred pounds, with the amount of metal that's latched in there, yeah.

ASHLEY: Okay, so. I would like to get close enough within 60 feet, so I know that I'll--

MATT: Okay, yeah, so you dart forward. They're not right around the corner, but you can hear the noise approaching.

ASHLEY: I grab Mister's hand. Come on, we got to go.

MATT: (hoots) He clutches it and walks along with you.

ASHLEY: Finish your apple. (laughter) Hurry! Okay, so I am going to use... Well, when they get pretty close, because I don't want anybody to ruin what I'm doing.

MATT: Okay, roll a perception check, by the way.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: With disadvantage, because you're in the middle of the dust storm.

ASHLEY: Okay. Okay, 10.

MATT: Okay, continue.

ASHLEY: Okay, I am going to use my telekinesis ring, and I'm going to try to move one of the barriers, so at least they have one side to cut around.

MATT: Okay, so--

ASHLEY: And then I'm going to stand behind one. I'm going to run out, and wait for them to come by, and start screaming to stay to the right.

MATT: Okay, as you hear the noise (rumbling) getting louder and louder, you can just begin to make out the shadows of things that are cruising at a very rapid speed. The vehicles are a little beat to shit, and all you hear is this familiar scream of FCG at the front of one of them, just going, "Ah!" (laughter) The rest of you--

ASHLEY: What was that?

MATT: Full speed. As the dust comes up--

LAURA: Fearne the old lady.

MATT: -- you can see the shape of the crowd screaming. Everyone's cheering. You can hear the noise of everyone excited for the end of the race. You can see the distant shape of the Bone Tree coming close, and right at the last minute, there's something in the way. What are you doing now?

ASHLEY: Okay. The something in the way is one of those things?

MATT: They're noticing that they're covering most of the raceway.

ASHLEY: Oh, there's lots of them.

MATT: There's two large ones that, when they sprung up, they block everything except for a narrow passage.

ASHLEY: Okay, so I am going to take one of them and just try to push it as much to the side as I can.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: To try to make a good amount of room for them to wiggle by.

MATT: Got it. Okay. So roll d20 and add your wisdom modifier. This is to gauge how far you can move it. (chuckles)

ASHLEY: Ooh. That would be a whole seven.

MATT: Okay, you can't move it very far. You use the ring a little bit. It's limited in its power, and this is a very heavy piece of material comparatively.

ASHLEY: Can I do something else?

MATT: Sure.

ASHLEY: How many feet across are they?

MATT: The whole raceway together is about 60 feet across, and they're about 25 feet each, so it's just a 10-foot gap in the middle.

ASHLEY: There's a 10-foot gap in the middle they can go through?

MATT: Yeah, if they manage to see it in time.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay.

MATT: You do pull one side a little bit with that roll, and it does lead into a 15-foot gap, which means the DC's lower for anyone to try and pass through.

ASHLEY: That helps, that helps.

MATT: So as you pull that apart, the three of you that are driving--

ASHLEY: Can I try one more thing? (laughter)

MATT: You get one more, because you haven't been part of this race, so you've been here to set up and prepare. Yeah, I'll give you one more thing. You got one more. You got one more.

ASHLEY: Okay, I'm going to run to the side.

MATT: Yeah?

ASHLEY: To the outside, so if I've pulled one this way--

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: So I'm going to run to the outside.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: And I'm going to just look around, and pull out the portable hole, and put it underneath the one side, so it'll go like this.

MARISHA: Oh!

MATT: Okay! So you throw down the portable hole onto the ground. You can't really slide it underneath, because it's a heavy thing.

ASHLEY: Shit.

MATT: But you can try and pull it back if you want to.

ASHLEY: Mister, come help me right now.

MATT: (hoots) He goes and grabs it. It's getting louder and louder and louder. Make a strength check for me.

LAURA: Oh god!

ASHLEY: Oh, wow, okay. My strength is minus two.

LAURA: What? Your strength is minus--

ASHLEY: It's a natural one. (laughter)

SAM: Please say she fell into the hole. (laughter)

MATT: So, the good news is--

ASHLEY: This is so daggum heavy!

MATT: The good news is nobody runs into you... because you fell into the hole.

LAURA: Oh my gosh.

TRAVIS: Yay, you fell into the hole!

MARISHA: Is the hole in front of these spikies, or is it behind it?

MATT: It's on the end.

MARISHA: It's on the end.

LAURA: On the side.

MATT: You didn't pull it far enough. With a natural one and a minus two, you just fell right in the hole.

ASHLEY: Okay, I'm just going to sit in there and--

MARISHA: Are you stuck in the hole?

ASHLEY: Probably!

LIAM: Do I, with my 26 passive, see in the distance any of those shenanigans?

MATT: No, this is an active view because of the dust storm.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: You do have advantage still, and I'm going to give you disadvantage, so it's just a straight roll for you, but I would like all of the drivers to make a perception check, please.

MARISHA: Make a perception check.

MATT: Disadvantage, unless you're Orym, which has a straight roll.

MARISHA: Disadvantage.

MATT: Correct.

ERIKA: None of us can help this, correct?

MATT: Not this scenario. You've been focusing on the road.

TALIESIN: Fucking disadvantage bullshit.

SAM: Two 20s? Did you get two 20s?

MARISHA: I did not.

TALIESIN: Seven.

MATT: Seven?

MARISHA: I did not.

LIAM: 11. Too much blood in my eyes.

MATT: 11.

MARISHA: 13.

SAM: I did not!

MATT: 13. Okay. So. The three of you round the corner, vroom, and at the very last minute, you just see, "Oh, bladed barriers! Shit!" All three of you, make dexterity saving throws. It's a super high DC.

ERIKA: Come on, you have fast hands!

MATT: It's lowered because of what you did, so it's not as high as it would've been.

ASHLEY: You're welcome, everybody.

MATT: It would've been an 18. It was reduced to 16, so.

ASHLEY: There you go. I did help.

LIAM: 23.

MATT: 23. You manage to squeeze through the center.

MARISHA: I got to roll 14 or higher.

TALIESIN: What was it, dex?

LAURA: Dex.

TALIESIN: 10.

MARISHA, ERIKA: (squeal)

SAM: Laudna, Laudna, Laudna!

MARISHA: 19!

MATT: 19, vroom! Laudna just goes through!

MARISHA: The blood loss is making things hard!

MATT: And then, from behind, Ashton, whoosh!

LAURA: Can I put Blade Ward on myself because I see it coming up?

MATT: Sure. That's the one thing you get. As the third vehicle, the one that you ordered and customized--

TALIESIN: Goddamn it.

MATT: -- slams into this blade barrier, and just, boom, gets sent into the air, ass over teakettle, shredded in the front, and then it hits the ground and it skids. Both of you take...

TALIESIN: That's a lot of dice.

MATT: 23 points of bludgeoning damage.

TALIESIN: Halved.

LAURA: Halved.

MATT: Halved, for you.

LAURA: And for me, because I just cast Blade Ward.

MATT: Because of Blade Ward, that's right, yeah. That's 11 points of bludgeoning damage to each of you.

ASHLEY: Are you still up?

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: How? Amazing.

TRAVIS: Wow. (laughs)

LAURA: We're going to crash!

MATT: With that, they all skid to a stop. There's a pause of silence as you all slowly stop the vehicles and turn as you pass the line that was drawn earlier. The Bone Tree behind you. The wind's still blowing, and the sound has gone away, because there's no other active vehicles. (laughs) But as you glance around and look, the crowd suddenly (cheering) Begins to scream and yell. The dust storm begins to fade rapidly.

LAURA: Yeah, those fucking dicks.

MARISHA: Did we see them wipe the fuck out?

MATT: As the dust begins, yes, and as you guys turn around, the last thing you see is the vehicle, boom, and skidding, come to a stop.

MARISHA: Laudna is holding her head, and she just goes: Imogen! And starts to stumble that way.

MATT: Both of them got thrown from the vehicle, and themselves boom, roll, cartoon style, and then drag into the dirt.

TRAVIS: I'll shrink back into my--

MATT: Everyone is cheering and cheering rapidly.

SAM: Chetney, Chetney, she left it in neutral! We're drifting! (laughter) Can you just throw on the brake or something?

TRAVIS: Ashton!

TALIESIN: I bolt right up. Woo, yeah! Woo! Oh, oh! Oh shit, are you okay?

LAURA: Yeah, are you all right?

TALIESIN: Oh, fuck yeah! That was amazing!

MARISHA: Is everyone okay, everyone?

TRAVIS: Where's FCG?

LAURA: Where's Fearne?

MARISHA: Fearne!

ASHLEY: Hello!

MARISHA, LAURA: Fearne?

TALIESIN: I walk over to where I hear the noise, and I assume fall in.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah.

MATT: With your passive perception, yeah. You fell away and Ashton just (whoosh).

TALIESIN: (screams) Oh god!

MARISHA: (yelps) Huh?

TALIESIN: Hi.

ASHLEY: Hi, you're alive, oh my god.

TALIESIN: Eh, yeah.

ASHLEY: I was trying to help, but I fell in the hole, so it just didn't help.

TALIESIN: No, this is great. I like it down here.

ASHLEY: Really?

TALIESIN: Did you want a boost up?

ASHLEY: Yes, please.

TALIESIN: Or should I get the boost? Okay.

ASHLEY: Well, maybe you should go up first because I don't know if-- Well, I could probably lift you, I'm very strong (chuckles).

TALIESIN: No, let's give it a try.

ASHLEY: Okay, I'm going to put my hoof--

TALIESIN: I'm going to try to pickpocket while she does that.

MATT: Okay. (groaning) (laughs)

LAURA: Right on it, I love it.

TALIESIN: That's a 15.

MATT: 15, you see he's trying to--

TALIESIN: You do see.

MATT: Yeah. He's trying to reach into some of your--

TALIESIN: I'm injured, come on, come on, I don't mean, okay.

ASHLEY: You can always just ask--

TALIESIN: No, no, it's all right, it's all right.

ASHLEY: No, take something. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Well, now I don't want to. God fucking-- don't take the fun out of it.

ASHLEY: All right.

MATT: One by one, you both get out of your portable hole, but the crowd is now pulled in from the sides of the street, and they've began lifting up some of you. You can see teammates of the leftover absconded vehicle approach Orym and Dusk from the car. They come up to you like, "Congratulations, can we have it back?"

LIAM: Yeah, thanks for the loaner.

MATT: "Yeah."

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: They just take it, and (rumbles) carry it off to the side as the two of you--

ASHLEY: Did you guys win? Did you win? I literally was watching the whole time, and the last 10 seconds I missed all of it.

TRAVIS: Fuck Bucket reigned supreme.

LAURA: Buck Fucket?

TRAVIS: (shouts) Buck Fucket!

ERIKA: We kicked ass.

ASHLEY: Yes!

TALIESIN: It went very well, very fucking well.

MATT: Everyone's cheering. Some people are coming up and handing drinks to you. Handing bottles and all sorts of errant liquids that you're uncertain if you should imbibe, but they're being presented. People are clapping you on the back and shouting. The crowd's starting to disperse a little bit.

TALIESIN: It's law.

LAURA: I'm looking around for that tall--

LIAM: Same.

LAURA: What was that called, the big crawlers?

LIAM: Oh, the crawlers.

MATT: There's the mammoth crawler that was on that side.

LAURA: Mammoth crawler, yeah, I'm looking for that with the woman.

MATT: Okay, well, it was the watchtower was where the woman was, but you look over at where it was before. As the dust is pulling away there's nobody on the tower.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: Orym springs up and lands and sits on Ash's shoulder, but I want to look for anyone that we recognize. Treshi even, anyone in the crowd and any building watching.

MATT: No Treshi, but the crowd is parting a bit as you see approaching a small group of Paragon's Call soldiers, Ratanish, and indeed Otohan are now coming through the crowd in your direction as Ratanish is clapping.

MARISHA: Oh shit.

MATT: (Ratanish) "Well, that was a fantastic display, very impressive. Not only did you make your way through, but you managed to abscond with somebody else's vehicles and leave no competition behind. Very good, very good. I would say I put in my word behind them, but ultimately it is your choice." He says to Otohan who steps forward, and she crosses her arms, her heavy, dark reddish cloak bundled around the shoulders. You can see the arms cross from underneath, looking across the lot of you.

LAURA: I want to duck behind Fearne.

MATT: Make a stealth check.

ASHLEY: I get really fluffy.

MATT, ERIKA, TALIESIN: (laugh)

MATT: (inflating sound)

TRAVIS: I get really fluffy.

LAURA: 19.

MATT: 19.

TRAVIS: (impactful puff)

MATT: Okay, you duck behind.

ASHLEY: It's like in Balto.

MATT: "Yes, I think this could be the beginning of a relationship. See that they are given quarters in the barracks. We'll begin training in a few days, but welcome to the Paragon's Call." She turns around then walks off back through the crowd, as Ratanish watches her leave.

TALIESIN: Holy shit.

MATT: "All right."

ASHLEY: Apparently, no one else survived but you guys.

TALIESIN: Yep.

ASHLEY: That is unbelievable.

TALIESIN: Yeah, it is.

LIAM: Just barely.

ASHLEY: Was it brutal?

LAURA: That's surprising.

ASHLEY: Was it wild?

TALIESIN: It was amazing. It's everything I ever wanted it to be.

LAURA: It was pretty amazing.

ASHLEY: I had an amazing time. I just walked through the crowd and I got so much shit, you guys. Yeah.

LIAM: What are some of the things that you got?

ASHLEY: You just don't even know.

LIAM: Show us the best three.

ERIKA: Just show us some highlights.

MARISHA: A little show and tell, yes.

ASHLEY: I pull out a really long blond braid. (laughter) This was just so pretty on her head, and I just had to have it. If anybody wants this.

TALIESIN: Tempting.

ASHLEY: What else did I get?

LIAM: Was it at the back, or were there two of them originally?

ASHLEY: There were two, so I left her one. She had a two-thing going on.

LIAM: That's generous of you.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: I just figured. You know. I got you guys some candy apples, if you want some. (gasping)

LAURA: Oh, that's great.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah.

MARISHA: Actually, they yank out my teeth.

ASHLEY: Oh okay, do you want a caramel one instead?

MARISHA: Same problem.

LAURA: Way worse, way worse.

MARISHA: No.

SAM: What's going on back there?

ASHLEY: Oh! Oh!

LAURA: We got to get him out. We got to get him out of the car. It takes an hour to get him off of the glue, so we've got a little bit to wait.

SAM: Okay.

MARISHA: (laughs)

LAURA: Maybe we can take the car back over to--

TRAVIS: He's just idled into a corner.

MATT: Yep. (laughs)

LIAM: He's just pressed into a wall.

SAM: (muffled) I'm okay, just take your time.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: We could probably put something into you so you're not about to fall over again.

MARISHA: I'm fine. I'm great. Someone shoved two drinks of undeterminate origin in my hands, and I'm fantastic.

TALIESIN: I assume one's poison. I suppose she has to roll for poison damage. Sorry.

MATT: We'll find out.

TALIESIN: Let's find out.

LIAM: It's brake fluid.

TALIESIN: Yeah. (laughs)

LAURA: I'm going to grab Laudna's hand, and walk her over to FCG in front of the car.

MARISHA: FCG!

LAURA: She's about to die.

MARISHA: You did so good out there.

SAM: Oh hi.

MARISHA: I'm so proud of you.

LAURA: Should we walk you over to Imahara's?

SAM: Are you bleeding and drunk?

MARISHA: Yes.

SAM: Or one or the other?

MARISHA: I'm not sure.

SAM: Okay. Just bring her close to me.

LAURA: That's what I'm doing. I'm walking right in front.

SAM: Okay, I'll cast... Cure Wounds.

TRAVIS: Stop it!

SAM: Here's a Cure Wounds. You get eight points of healing.

MARISHA: Ooh.

MATT: I like the idea of-- You're healed. (laughter)

LAURA: Maybe we can just...

LIAM: How long has it been since the race started? Ish?

MATT: I'd say around 15, 16 minutes.

LAURA: So we got awhile.

MATT: At this point, it's close to 20, so you got another 40 minutes.

LAURA: Plus we welded him in, too.

LIAM: Yeah, bolted and glued.

LAURA: Maybe we should just walk him over to Imahara Joe's.

MATT: You could probably break him out. It's not the most powerful glue in the world.

LAURA: Oh, it's not that perma-dick glue?

MATT: No, no.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: I'd rather walk them out of there.

TALIESIN: Like a tricycle.

LIAM: Yeah. Walk your bike home.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: While Laudna is getting healed, Orym's going to walk over to the heap that was Ashton and Imogen's bike, and bend down and pry away the bit of metal that has the logo of the moon painted on it.

MATT: The vehicle is still probably functional. It needs some heavy repair.

LIAM: Yeah, I'm peeling apart a piece of scrap metal that had that logo on it.

MATT: Got it.

LIAM: I wrap it up in the dirty cloak that I've been wearing on and off and carry it away.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: We should take the damn loaner and the one we bought back. I'm sure we'll get some love for it.

TALIESIN: This is fixable. There's nothing wrong with this. Oh yeah.

LAURA: FCG, how you holding up?

SAM: I'm okay. I don't know. We won, right?

TRAVIS: How's your wheel? Is it bald?

SAM: My wheel is--

MATT: You look down.

MARISHA: Yeah?

MATT: The area where your wheel attaches to your lower half, the metallic portion is a bright red.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: The sheer speed and friction that has built up around this entire race has brought it to the point where you were so concentrating on the chaos around you, you didn't notice the verge in which you were close to breaking your wheel off. You are in dire need of some rest. The heat is still there, and it's scrambled you, and you're entering a fuzzy fugue.

SAM: Did Zhudanna, did we make it into the Zhudanna?

LAURA: Yeah, we made it.

TALIESIN: It's so good, so good.

LAURA: We made it.

SAM: All right.

ASHLEY: Yeah, you did it.

SAM: Great.

LIAM: With that Aeorian tech.

TALIESIN: Let's get you taken care of.

TRAVIS: Imahara Joe's, he'll get him out.

TALIESIN, LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: Let's go get you taken care of. Nothing but sleep.

LAURA: Very slowly.

ASHLEY: Are you hungry? Do you want some coins that I st-- got for you?

SAM: Sure. (laughter)

ASHLEY: I got you a full bowl. (laughter)

TALIESIN: We can feed him some chunks of the-- (laughter)

LAURA: Other car?

ASHLEY: You're parked in the corner. I can't reach you.

LAURA: That's true.

MATT: Make it chain.

MARISHA: Change?

TALIESIN: Use the whole car.

MATT: All right, so gathering both the loaner and the heavily-damaged owned vehicle, you trek back to Imahara Joe's. It is the early evening, so he's still in his workshop, hasn't closed down yet. Greets you out front with some of his associates. He's like, "So it went well I suppose, comparatively? Oh my goodness, you did a number."

LAURA: You're looking at the winners.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: "Wow, first timers, well done."

MARISHA: All three, first, second, third. Gold, silver, bronze, what's up?

TALIESIN: Only.

MATT: "Okay, yeah, that's a lot."

LAURA: Roll that slammage.

ASHLEY: Roll that slammage.

LIAM: You don't want to exert yourself anymore.

MATT: "So I'll go ahead and take--" (grouses)

LIAM: (laughs)

MATT: "I'll go ahead and take the loaner back and let them handle that. Do you need me to start working on repairs?"

LAURA: Can you help our friend?

MATT: "Oh! I didn't even notice. Hold on a second."

SAM: I'm stuck in here.

MATT: Marches back inside and pulls out a large heated crowbar that was sitting over a small flame and brings it behind. As he begins pushing it into the adhesive, you hear it (sizzles) begin to melt through a bit before he pushes in. Gets good leverage and then (grunts) pushes on it and you (clank) tear off-- and come back onto your own wheel.

SAM: (sighs) Man. That felt so good. Thank you, Imahara Joe. I appreciate it. I'm so glad we won. Remember, you can become a D&D Beyond subscriber, and unlock exclusive monthly perks. I needed to say that at some point tonight and I just did. (laughter) Now I can go on. (laughter)

TALIESIN: You're starting to just babble. We should do something about this. This doesn't seem very healthy.

TRAVIS: Let him reboot.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: He's getting a little dicey.

ASHLEY: He's a little scrambled.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: "Do you need me to repair your vehicle, or?"

TALIESIN: What's that going to run? Out of curiosity.

MATT: "I can give you a better estimate in the morning."

LAURA: Yeah, that'll be be great.

MATT: "I'm going to take a look and see the extent of the damage. This is impressive."

TALIESIN: Thank you.

LIAM: How much for an oil and polish for our friend?

MATT: "Oh, we can take him in and look him over, and get him up to speed, and clean him if you like. I'd love the opportunity to talk more and figure this out."

LAURA: It's a date night.

TALIESIN: How's that sound?

MARISHA: This is your date night.

SAM: Okay, yeah, sure. That sounds like a good plan, yeah.

MATT: "Okay, okay, yeah." (snaps fingers) "Can I get some help here?" Two of his associates come out, and they both help your arms and carry you back to the inside.

SAM: (pained noises)

MARISHA: We- we'll see-- We'll see you soon.

LAURA: Do you want us to stay with you? Are you all right?

SAM: You can all rest. It's okay. I'll be okay.

TALIESIN: Are you sure?

ASHLEY: You guys aren't going to reprogram him or change him or anything, right?

MATT: "Oh, I would never consider touching the sentience of an entity like--"

MARISHA: We will fucking beat you if you do.

TALIESIN: I'd prefer, if that's okay, to--

MATT: "Don't blame you."

TALIESIN: -- stay with this, it's fine.

ASHLEY: Yeah?

MARISHA: You're going to stay?

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'll stay for this.

SAM: I'm flattered, Ashton, but wasn't the whole bargain with the Paragon's Call with you? Don't you need to go?

TALIESIN: No, that's been taken care of.

SAM: Oh, okay.

TALIESIN: It's utterly been taken care of, and you don't have a choice in this, come on.

SAM: All right.

TALIESIN: Yep.

SAM: Ow. Ow.

LAURA: Aww.

MATT: So, then two of you are going to stay the night at Imahara Joe's?

TALIESIN: I'll stay the night here.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Should the rest of us get some food?

MATT: Yeah, you're all beat to shit and exhausted.

TRAVIS: Yeah, sleep sounds good.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

ERIKA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: I feel pretty good. (laughter)

MATT: Okay. So I take it the rest of you head back to the Undercarriage?

LAURA: Yeah, as we're walking I'm going to talk to Laudna. I'm going to talk to you in your head. I saw the woman from my dreams today.

MARISHA: What, where? Who, what?

LAURA: She was next to Ratanish. She was here.

MARISHA: Wait, are you talking about... What was her fucking name?

LIAM: Thull.

LAURA: Otohan.

MATT: Otohan Thull.

MARISHA: Otohan. Are you talking about Otohan?

LAURA: I don't know. I don't know who Otohan is. I just know it was the woman that I saw.

MARISHA: Gray hair?

LAURA: Lots of armor.

MARISHA: Incredible armor? Yes. Yes, she was the one.

LAURA: That's her.

MARISHA: Oh, holy shit.

LAURA: I don't think she saw me.

MARISHA: I didn't put it together earlier. She was the one. She's in charge of the Paragon's Call.

LAURA: How is she here?

MARISHA: I don't know, and why is she in your fucking dreams? Is she like you?

LAURA: I don't know.

MARISHA: I think she has to have some connection. I don't know what it is, and she's been real bitchy and shitty to you, right?

LAURA: She seems scary.

MARISHA: Didn't you say she's got an army?

LAURA: Lots of people, yes. It could be Paragon's Call behind her, but that's not what it felt like.

MARISHA: Ashton, they said that she was a... A war hero or almost an urban legend.

LAURA: Maybe she's Ruidusborn.

MARISHA: She has to be, and maybe all the other people you were seeing are also Ruidusborn.

LAURA: I don't know how to... Do I talk to her? Do I avoid her?

MARISHA: You said she seems... Sinister, right?

LAURA: Yeah. I don't get good vibes. (laughs)

MARISHA: No. (sighs) I do worry about what she might do if she knew that you were here. She's only had this untangible connection to you, but... I just fear what she might be able to do in the flesh.

LAURA: I don't know. How late is it?

MATT: At this point, I'd say if you guys have been walking back to the Undercarriage, it's 9:30.

LAURA: Is the moon high in the sky already? Is it obvious it's going to be another night of...

MATT: It's coming up, because the idea is as the world rotates, the moons rotate with it. Ruidus slowly its rotation gets to its zenith, and it looks like it's not there yet, but it's definitely visible in the sky.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: All during this conversation, Orym has been piggybacking on Fearne's back going: And then the bike went right off the cliff.

ASHLEY: What?

LIAM: And they just died.

ASHLEY: Just right off?

ERIKA: (explosion)

LIAM: Then we were underground.

ASHLEY: They died?

LIAM: It was completely dark. We couldn't see shit, and then FCG's eyes lit up like lighthouses or something.

ASHLEY: Oh my gosh, that's what I saw from far away.

LIAM: Yeah, and then Dusk killed that thing we thought in the cave.

ASHLEY: Whoa.

LIAM: Then we were like (rumbles) all the way to the top.

ERIKA: But then it had climbed back up--

ASHLEY: No!

ERIKA: -- and attacked us again.

ASHLEY: Oh my goodness.

LIAM: We thought we were made in the shade. Then we turned the corner and then spikes, and you, and a hole in the ground, and that's how we got here. Thanks for saving our dead friend.

ERIKA: Oh yeah, well, thanks for driving.

LIAM: I take a nap against Fearne.

LAURA: I break our mental connection and I look at Dusk. Thank you for saving her.

ERIKA: Well, you guys did the same for me.

ASHLEY: Did you save her?

MARISHA: She did.

ERIKA: It's no big deal.

MARISHA: You did! Take the compliment.

ERIKA: Okay, okay. Okay, it's good. Let me snuggle it. Hold it in, all right.

MARISHA: In fact, I grab Dusk and I slow pace down. I'm just... Look, I wanted to tell you.

ERIKA: Mm-hm?

MARISHA: Obviously thank you so much for everything you did, and I'm just really sorry for acting so awkwardly last night. I was just taken off guard because no one has even-- I haven't even thought about that and no one's said anything like that to me in 30 years, and then I didn't know how to process it, and I'm sorry. I'm talking. I'm rambling. But I just, you know, I'm just not sure if I'm ready for that type of emotional leap. I think you're darling and lovely, and I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm terrible with confrontation and rejection! I just think you're lovely, but I can't!

ASHLEY, LAURA: (laugh)

ERIKA: Hey, it's okay. I totally understand.

MARISHA: Okay.

ERIKA: No hard feelings.

MARISHA: Don't be mad at me.

ERIKA: No, of course not.

MARISHA: I'm really bad at people being mad at me.

ERIKA: No!

MARISHA: Okay.

ERIKA: Wait, why hasn't anybody ever asked you to dinner?

MARISHA: Oh, well, you know, I'm assuming it's the whole, that my skin is a bit clammy all over to the touch, and sometimes my jaw comes unhinged without me even knowing it happened, and people have to be like, oh, you know, maybe reconnect it.

ERIKA: You've got a guy with a hole in his rock head and a robot.

MARISHA: That is true. That is true.

ERIKA: I feel like maybe you're not as unattractive or weird as you think you are.

MARISHA: Really?

ERIKA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Because I'm used to being the weirdo in the group, but now I'm a weirdo in a bunch of weirdos. (laughs)

ERIKA: Yeah.

MARISHA: (laughs awkwardly)

ERIKA: Are you okay?

MARISHA: Yes. Are you okay?

ERIKA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Are you prepared for the big day tomorrow?

ERIKA: No. But, I mean, I'll be there with, you know, everybody, so hopefully it'll be okay.

MARISHA: Yeah, you have us.

ERIKA: Yeah?

MARISHA: It'll be great. I mean, why wouldn't they want to see you?

ERIKA: Well, I don't know. I don't know how long it's been, and I don't know if I'm the same.

MARISHA: That's fair.

ERIKA: You know, Fearne seems to be worried about it, too.

MARISHA: Sure. Well, I mean, it seems like maybe they could've changed a lot, as well.

ERIKA: Oh god, do you think that's true?

MARISHA: Well, I don't know. It's just everything that we're hearing with their exploits and their little trips to this realm. I just hope... I hope they're nice, you know? I hope they're nice for yours and Fearne's sake.

ERIKA: Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, I hope that whenever you're ready, that you will find somebody that will make you feel less awkward.

MARISHA: (laughs) Thank you. Shall we go drown the awkwardness over a pint?

ERIKA: Yes.

MARISHA: Let's do it. Just wrap her arm around behind, and we just catch up with the rest of the group.

LAURA: I'm going to stand off to the side as I watch them walk by and cast Detect Thoughts on Dusk.

MATT: On Dusk? Nothing.

ERIKA: ♪ Doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo ♪

LAURA: No thoughts?

ERIKA: ♪ Doo doo doo doo ♪

MATT: There's no mind to grasp. It's like your reach slips off.

ASHLEY: Are you staring because you're jealous? (laughing) I saw you watching them. Do you want to link arms with me and really lay it on thick?

MARISHA: Oh, come here! Come here! Let's all--

ERIKA: Oh my god, can we do a whole--

ASHLEY: We're just going to do it, just us.

TRAVIS: Oh shit!

MARISHA: Come on, let's--

ASHLEY: Okay.

ERIKA: This is the best.

MARISHA: This is the best.

LIAM: I'm still up on your shoulders. TRAVIS, ERIKA, and MARISHA: ♪ We're off to see the wizard ♪ ♪ The wonderful wizard of Oz ♪

MATT: All right. So the rest of you go off drinking and blowing off your steam of the evening's events and chaos at The Undercarriage. Is there anything you two want to handle while you're at Imahara Joe's, or do you want to take it to the next morning?

SAM: I don't know what Imahara Joe does to repair me, but do we get a good night's sleep?

MATT: I'll say the majority of it is him just asking about you and your history, and is eager to learn about what you remember, where you're from, and gets all the information that you are used to providing.

SAM: Mm-hmm.

MATT: While beyond that, his associates are helping help tune up the wheel attachment to your body, helping to buff out the damage, helping to clean off the remaining residual adhesives that held you onto the inside, take care of your shoulder joint, which was torn when you pulled the chain which had trapped you to the bike. Overall, they get you up, spick and span as they can get, which is nice.

TALIESIN: I'm going to sit and glower in the corner for this whole process.

MATT: Fair enough.

TALIESIN: Just.

MARISHA: Sit and glower.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

TALIESIN: So much bouncer.

MATT: But exhaustion kicks in quickly, and the tension within you is extreme.

SAM: Mm-hmm.

MATT: A night's rest, maybe it'll help clear your head.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: But the rest of you, anything else before you rest for the evening?

TRAVIS: Yeah, actually, if we're all drinking, I'll go over and tap Dusk on the shoulder.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: You were on fire today. (whispering) That was excellent.

ERIKA: (whispering) Thank you.

TRAVIS: I just wanted to let you know, because I'm savvy. I've been around for a couple hundred years. If you need any help with the Calloways, just cut me in on a little bit of the coin and we'll take care of it.

ERIKA: Hm?

TRAVIS: You know. Your target. You got a little picture.

ERIKA: That they gave me?

TRAVIS: Yeah. Your bounty.

ERIKA: (laughs) What? Oh, you're serious.

TRAVIS: Well, sure. I've been around. Nobody hired you to find the Calloways with this little picture that you have? And you don't remember where you came from, and everything's fuzzy? I won't tell anybody, I promise. But if you need any help, you know. (nudges)

ERIKA: What kind of help could you give, if that were the case?

TRAVIS: Well, I'm handy with edged things, like you are.

ERIKA: Mm-hm. Mm-hm.

TRAVIS: I'm just saying, I see you, and there's respect there. Everybody's got to make a buck.

ERIKA: I like you, but I'm fine for money.

TRAVIS: Oh. So you're not trying to kill Fearne's parents?

ERIKA: No.

TRAVIS: Oh. Do I believe her?

MATT: You can make an insight check, and Erika, make a deception and/or persuasion. You don't have to mention which, just tell me what the overall number is.

ERIKA: 11.

TRAVIS: 18. Nope.

SAM: One.

TRAVIS: 19.

MATT: Well, whisper into his ear whether or not you're telling the truth.

SAM: Cast Whispers?

MATT: I know.

SAM: Now would be a good time.

MATT: It's a rare circumstance.

SAM: Now I do the D&D Beyond thing.

MATT: There it is.

SAM: D&D Beyond exists. (laughing)

MATT: All right.

SAM: They're a wonderful sponsor of the show.

TRAVIS: It was worth a shot.

ERIKA: Yeah.

SAM: You should probably subscribe. We all do.

TRAVIS: All right. Well, just know I'm here.

SAM: Oh, you're back.

ERIKA: Thank you.

ASHLEY: I'm going to saunter over.

SAM: To Chetney?

ASHLEY: To Chetney and Dusk.

SAM: Oh. Oh.

ASHLEY: Hi.

TRAVIS: Hey.

ASHLEY: Can I talk to you just a little bit?

ERIKA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: I'm kind of nervous. Are you nervous?

ERIKA: I am extremely nervous right now.

TRAVIS: You want some room? Some privacy? All right, have fun.

ASHLEY: Maybe just a little bit.

TRAVIS: You want me to stay?

ASHLEY: No no no, it's okay.

TRAVIS: Huh? Okay, later.

ASHLEY: We'll just-- Okay. (laughter)

SAM: You know the code.

ASHLEY: Yeah, you're nervous?

ERIKA: (whispering) Chetney thought I was trying to kill your parents and then he said he'd help me. What the fuck?

ASHLEY: He did?

ERIKA: Yes!

ASHLEY: That's weird.

ERIKA: That's so insane.

ASHLEY: Do you think he's trying to kill my parents?

ERIKA: He said he would, for money.

ASHLEY: He must be lying.

ERIKA: He's got to be kidding.

ASHLEY: He wouldn't do that. Would he do that? He might do that.

MARISHA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: I don't think he will, though. I don't think he will.

ERIKA: What do we do?

ASHLEY: I don't know.

MARISHA: What is happening?

ASHLEY: It's okay, he won't. It's just his personality and sense of humor.

ERIKA: His personality and sense of humor is offering to help kill somebody's parents?

ASHLEY: Well, you know, if you're with your friends and you're like, I'm going to kill you or punch you in your face.

ERIKA: Kill your parents for money?

ASHLEY: It's a terrible example. I think he's just kidding, just probably playing around with you. I'm scared.

ERIKA: Then he really thinks I am!

ASHLEY: He does, for real?

ERIKA: Yeah!

ASHLEY: Well, I'm sorry.

ERIKA: It's so fucked up.

ASHLEY: That is kind of weird, but I think he likes to play with people a little bit.

ERIKA: Why would he do that, though?

ASHLEY: Because it's really fun.

ERIKA: Okay.

ASHLEY: Oh. I'm going to take Dusk in for a hug.

ERIKA: Thank you. Sorry, I just... I feel like-- Sorry. No, it's fine.

ASHLEY: No, no, no.

ERIKA: You really shouldn't have any reason to trust me or anything.

ASHLEY: Are you okay?

ERIKA: Yeah, I'm fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine.

ASHLEY: Listen. You want to know something really cool?

ERIKA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: We're almost, kind of, basically long lost siblings. You know? I mean, you've gotten to spend so much more time with my parents, but I kind of feel like I know them a little bit through you, and I think it's going to be really cool when we all see each other.

ERIKA: What if they don't trust me either?

ASHLEY: I think it's going to be fine. I'm just really glad that you're going to be there. You can sort of facilitate, because I know I'm going to be weird.

ERIKA: Why does everybody in the group think that they're weird, and then the weird ones just really have no idea?

ASHLEY: Well, I think comparatively.

MARISHA, LAURA: (laugh)

ASHLEY: I think we're kind of weird. You know, I think we're all kind of weird.

ERIKA: You know, I think it's like with FCG. You're all just special.

ASHLEY: You think so?

ERIKA: Yeah, he's...

ASHLEY: They're very special. There's something very, very, very interesting about Fresh Cut Grass.

ERIKA: Yeah. It seems like it.

ASHLEY: But they all are kind of interesting.

ERIKA: Everybody is really special.

ASHLEY: Well, you're very special and you're very interesting, and you're also the right kind of weird, too. I just think this was all supposed to happen, you know?

ERIKA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: And I think we're going to have a good day tomorrow.

ERIKA: I know we're going to have a good day tomorrow.

ASHLEY: We will. We're going to put that out into this realm, and we're just going to have a good day.

ERIKA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Are you okay?

ERIKA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Is there anything I can help you with?

ERIKA: Do you want to just cuddle or something?

ASHLEY: I would love that so much. I would love that so much. It's one of my favorite things.

ERIKA: Really?

ASHLEY: Oh, yes.

ERIKA: Oh my god. Okay, cool.

ASHLEY: Big spoon, little spoon, middle spoon. I can even do the full circle and then put you in the middle. It's a whole thing.

ERIKA: That sounds nice.

ASHLEY: Okay.

ERIKA: Okay.

ASHLEY: All right.

ERIKA: Okay.

ASHLEY: We're going to have a good day.

ERIKA: We're going to have a good day.

ASHLEY: I'm really glad you're here.

ERIKA: Thank you.

ASHLEY: And thank you for saving Laudna.

ERIKA: Yeah. She's also really special.

ASHLEY: You're really special.

ERIKA: You're really special.

ASHLEY: Okay.

ERIKA: Okay.

LIAM: Can I just throw in as a little bit of background flavor that Orym probably at this bar tonight has been feeling lonely, and went off and sat by himself at the bar and sat and drank by himself, but watched every one of these conversations and read everyone's lips the entire time.

TRAVIS: You can read lips?

LIAM: Including that conversation with Chetney.

TRAVIS: I didn't know you could read lips.

MARISHA: Observant feat!

MATT: Observant feat.

LIAM: Uh-huh.

TRAVIS: Dope.

ERIKA: I didn't know that.

SAM: I don't have lips. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Mouth flaps! (laughter) Just the tongue.

LIAM: Oh wow.

TRAVIS: Catch some Ls and Ss.

LAURA: Just the idea of flesh lips on FCG.

LIAM: They're just saying, wow wow wow wow wow wow wow.

TALIESIN: Ba ba ba ba.

LAURA: You would've seen me sitting by myself as well.

LIAM: Mm-hmm, probably nodded to each other at some point or another, no?

TALIESIN: Like a parent in "Peanuts."

LAURA: Well, yes.

MATT: Okay. Very well. Eventually, you all head back to your chambers that you've rented out for the night to sleep. For the sake of brevity, it is an uneventful evening for those who want to keep watch, lest, you know. Anybody else want to do anything before the night's done?

LIAM: I go on a murder spree.

MATT: Okay. There you go, congratulations.

SAM: Naturally.

LAURA: I mean, I know it's getting late, but I wanted to wait for Dusk to go to sleep and just stare into her head as she's dreaming, because I've never come across--

SAM, LIAM: Not in a creepy way.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: -- something like that.

MATT: Okay. So, on your watch, you go ahead and make sure that you're resting in the same space as Dusk. You're attempting to delve into her mind while she sleeps?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay. You push in once more.

LIAM: Yeah, it is, it's fine. It's creepy.

MATT: And it's like a wall. It's not an absence of mind, but it's like a mind that is encased, that is protected. You are being prevented from peeking.

LAURA: And I've never run into anything like that before.

MATT: No.

MARISHA: It's like a code word or some shit.

TRAVIS: Oh, she's Black Widow.

SAM: She could just have a ring of mind shielding.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: I kind of want to just tap on it mentally just to see what the barrier will do.

MATT: It glides off like you're trying to push a blade against a curved wall. It just kind of deflects. Sorry.

LAURA: All right. I'll leave her alone.

MATT: Okay. Eventually, the night is done. The morning comes to greet you and a groggy, sore morning it is.

TRAVIS: (like Grog) Yeah.

MATT: You all begin to come to consciousness.

MARISHA: Oh, long rest.

MATT: Getting your long rest, you get to finish that.

LIAM: We did get a long rest.

ASHLEY: Still spooning Dusk.

MATT: Still spooning Dusk.

MARISHA: I wake up to see Fearne spooning Dusk, and I'm just like. Then just, that's all. (laughter)

MATT: You just Beaker it for a minute? (laughter) Okay.

MARISHA: Just a slight moment of confusion.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Orym's doing pull ups inside of the room. Morning.

MATT: (laughs) You dick.

ERIKA: It's the worst.

MATT: You're that friend.

MARISHA: You're the worst guy. This fucking guy.

ERIKA: This fucking guy.

TRAVIS: Anyone want some Grape Nuts?

LIAM: He's doing this. (laughter)

MATT: But you do gather some breakfast and probably bring some with you along to the shop of Imahara Joe to retrieve the rest of your party. While the two of you, if you stay there the night, it is not an unfamiliar sight. You don't need a comfortable bed to sleep. You're used to being leaned against a wall. You come to consciousness. And Fresh Cut Grass, you finish your rest mode feeling rejuvenated--

SAM: (sighs)

MATT: -- for the most part. Still tense from the previous day's activities, but at least physically restored. The shop, while itself is closed, and Imahara Joe's not present at the moment, this early in the morning, at least. There are two of the interns, or associates, who stay the night to make sure you didn't ransack the shop. They're up and they're currently in the process of opening the windows and getting everything ready for the day's activities, and they give you a nod and keep going about their business. The rest of you, are you heading to Imahara Joe's to gather your group?

MARISHA: Yeah. TRAVI:S Yeah.

MATT: Okay. Shortly before you arrive, Imahara Joe does come to the shop and opens the front door with his keys, walks in. "Good morning to you."

TALIESIN: Good morning.

MATT: "I know, it's not the most comfortable accommodations, but it was your request. Not a common one."

TALIESIN: I have worse. I've had worse.

MATT: "Fair enough. And you look delightful."

SAM: Yeah. You gave me a nice spit shine. It's pretty fancy.

MATT: "Well, it's not often people come in here requesting things that look particularly well-finished, but you came in finished and least we could do is try and keep you going."

SAM: Yeah. The treads are much more there.

MATT: "Yeah. Yeah, they were gone. You were not just bald tiring it, you were on the verge of losing your lower half."

SAM: Woo.

MATT: "So I'm glad you came to me when you did."

SAM: Thank you so much.

MATT: "Not a problem."

SAM: I appreciate it. Whew, I do feel better. Do we owe you anything? Also, did we owe you something for the vehicle? I feel like we were like, if we return it, we don't have to pay or we had some arrangement.

MATT: "The loaner, you don't have to worry about. That, I fix on the dime of the Paragon's Call. The one that you guys took, I have to spend a good part of the morning here just assessing the damages and how much it will cost for repairs. So maybe by noon I'll have something for you."

TALIESIN: All right.

MATT: "Which, by the way, I should get to work." He goes and starts gathering his materials and his gloves and getting his goggle and his mask, his little welding mask on the side. "I'll be in my workshop."

SAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: Thanks.

MATT: He darts into that space. The rest of you begin to saunter up to the now, as the morning progresses, the early morning sun. The previous clouds of the day had crawled away for the most part, except for spots and tufts of white cloud in the sky of a bright blue that shines above. It's not quite deep enough in the day where the heat has kicked off too poorly, and it looks like it's not going to be the hottest of days, thankfully. But the bustle of Bassuras is definitely beginning to kick in. As you are approaching the front area of the shop, you do hear the familiar sound of another skirmish-crawler (rumbling) getting louder in the distance. As you see the dust being kicked up as it approaches, before it (rumbling), comes and and slides off to the side and stops at the front of Imahara Joe's shop. There, you see a figure standing with a helmet on and a big, heavy set of goggles in the front. As they step off the back and lean it against the side, it is the upper half, you can see a heavy jacket looks to be traveling, covered in dust from a large bit of travel across the Hellcatch Valley's dusts and sands and rock-torn spaces. But it's the lower half that catches your attention, as it is in itself encased in a thick, dusty fur, and itself appears to be more of an animalistic nature.

SAM: Backwards knees?

MATT: Backwards knees and all.

LAURA: (laughs) No backwards knees.

MATT: Steps off the bike, sets it down, pulls the goggles up and goes and starts looking through the window at the inside of the shop. You guys are still walking down the street as you approach.

TALIESIN: I don't know what I was expecting, but it was that.

MATT: So the two of you are inside the shop, looking through and seeing her look in.

TRAVIS: Just the solo? A solo figure?

LAURA: Is that--?

ASHLEY: I don't know.

MATT: A solo figure, yeah.

ASHLEY: I mean, lots of people have bottom halves like I do. (laughter)

MATT: Knocks on the door and pushes inside and enters the building. This is when both of you notice the figure enter. You can see this coating of the dull yellowish gray dust that's cased around the face and the fur, on the sides of the cheek, that just gathers there a bit. It's completely clean around where the goggles are. You see a woman, a faun, very much in the same vein as Fearne, though visibly a little bit older, the hair an auburn brown coloration, bushy past the shoulders to the mid back. You see a thick leather jacket that's just pushed over the shoulders, that she's dusting off and creating these clouds around like, "I swear to god, every time I travel. Is Imahara Joe in?"

TALIESIN: Yeah. He's busy in the back. Is there anything that we can do for you?

MATT: "You new employees?"

TALIESIN: No, we're just hanging out, but I'm trying to be helpful. I have nothing really to do here.

MATT: "Just let him know I'm here. Quick business, just in for a day and out. So."

TALIESN: Ah. What was your name again?

MATT: "Tell him that Birdie's here."

TALIESIN: Birdie's here.

MATT: "Yep."

TALIESIN: One second.

MATT: She's stretching her back. "Sitting in that position just gets my muscles all tangled."

TALIESIN: Joe, Birdie's here!

SAM: Fearne.

TALIESIN: Birdie's here.

ASHLEY: Do we go in? Do we go in?

MATT: You guys hear Ashton's voice say that from the outside.

LAURA: Go! Go!

SAM: Are you okay? Do you need something?

ASHLEY: I feel like I've never even met her before.

LAURA: Do you want us to go in with you?

TALIESIN: You're on the outside still.

MATT: Imahara Joe walks into the store and goes, "Ah, Birdie! Wow, yeah, you're a little early, but I guess that works out fine. I'll see what I can scavenge for you. How many are you looking for?" She goes, "Oh well, whatever you can spare, really. We're getting real close."

ASHLEY: Let's go in. Let's go in.

MATT: "Real close, right around the corner."

LAURA: Do you want me to calm you down? Are you going to be okay?

ASHLEY: I'm okay. I'm okay.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: "I guess whatever you can spare. We got the change." She reaches into a pouch into this large side satchel that's a leather bundle that's belted to her thigh, and the whole thing is, with every step now, you can hear the coins shifting. Quite a bit of money sits in this side satchel.

ERIKA: Should we go in now?

ASHLEY: Let's go in. Let's go in, let's go in.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Okay. We're going to walk in.

LAURA: We'll follow your lead.

TALIESIN: So you a tinker or something? You build? Getting spare parts, or--?

MATT: "Yeah, sure."

TALIESIN: Oh.

MATT: Do you enter?

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: Okay. You enter and you just see from the back, she's looking towards the workshop where Imahara Joe is and you see FCG and Ashton flanking the sides of the chamber. Nobody else is present.

TALIESIN: Just trying to make conversation.

SAM: Smiley day to you.

ASHLEY: Hi. Hi. Oh.

MATT: "Oh, you're already here." Kind of dusts off the hair, and takes the helmet off and lets it drop to the ground.

ASHLEY: Hi.

MATT: She runs up and just grabs you and lifts you. Fearne's fairly tall and Birdie is about as tall, if not a little bit shorter, but is a little stockier in build and just picks her up and swings her a bit, and just looks up at your face. You can see as dusty as she is, beautiful, bright, bright blue-green eyes, with these lashes that bat themselves, coated in the dust that she knocked out of her hair a little bit. But sets you back down, looks. "Let me get a look at you."

ASHLEY: Let me get a look at you. We look a lot alike.

MATT: "Yeah, you-- My goodness. You have grown up so fast."

ASHLEY: Have I?

MATT: "Wow."

ASHLEY: Wow. I feel weird.

MATT: "Don't feel weird. I'm just happy to see you."

ASHLEY: My eyes are wet.

MATT: "Oh, here let me." She reaches into her jacket and pulls out a big old napkin that's covered in dust. A big cloud of dust. "I'm just going to get that."

ASHLEY: Thank you.

MATT: "I got it, I got it." She dabs your eyes a little bit. "Wow, it's been--"

ASHLEY: Wow, it's been--

MATT: Takes your hands.

ASHLEY: -- so long. It's been like 90 years.

MATT: "Close to six years, at least."

LAURA: (gasps)

TRAVIS: (chuckling) Oh no.

MARISHA: Six years?

LAURA: Did you say six?

TRAVIS: We got 90 and six.

MATT: She said six.

SAM: That's a big discrepancy.

TRAVIS: 90 and six.

ASHLEY: Six years?

MATT: "Eight, maybe. This keeping track of time is a little weird."

ASHLEY: That...

MATT: "I just need to-- You are so tall."

ASHLEY: I'm having a hard time with words. Dusk, you know Dusk.

MATT: "I don't think that we've met."

ASHLEY: Oh, you might not remember, but I think you guys spent some time together. It's been a lot longer than six years for me.

MATT: "No, I don't believe we've spent time together."

ERIKA: Suddenly--

TALIESIN: No. Damn it.

ERIKA: -- the tattoo on my arm springs to life.

LAURA: (gasps)

ERIKA: A roiling, crashing ocean. As the waves break, they splinter off into geometric patterns that multiply and divide. They crawl up my arm, over the shoulder, across the neck, engulf my face. (chittering) All of these geometric shapes drain of color and instead, take on an opalescent rainbow hue, like an oil slick on the choppy waters. Not an absence of color, but all of them at once. As the waves smooth and soften, we see that my form has changed. I'm taller, I'm all wiry muscle and taut angles. My face, sharper features that only rhyme with the soft, delicate ones that you knew. I snap my fingers. My clothes turn inside out, and there's black robes of silk and leather, with gold patterns that match and mirror the tattoos.

MARISHA: Oh.

ERIKA: I close my eyes. When I open them again, you stare into dark, inky voids, swirling with galaxies.

LAURA: What?

TRAVIS: Oh.

MATT: At this point, Birdie, who's holding your hand, steps back and just looks back at you briefly.

ERIKA: I grab both of them.

MARISHA: No. No, no, no. No.

MATT: "You led them right to us."

ASHLEY: I'm sorry. Who? Wait, wait.

MATT: And that's where we're going to end tonight's episode. (exclaiming) (laughter) (exclaiming) (laughter)

LAURA: What the shit?

ASHLEY: What? We didn't even ask you anything. Oh my god. (laughter)

MARISHA: No, we asked her shit.

LAURA: She just didn't tell us the truth.

MARISHA: Exactly. We asked her shit.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Oh.

TALIESIN: I can't wait to find out what the fuck you heard.

SAM: I thought I knew you.

LAURA: How did you know?

TRAVIS: At some point over the weekend, I was sitting there, working, and I went: Is she hunting her fucking parents?

ASHLEY: No!

ERIKA: (cackles) Yes! Yes.

ASHLEY: Oh my god. Oh my god.

ERIKA: We did it!

ASHLEY: Wait, what are you?

TRAVIS: I should not know that much. (laughter)

MATT: That is--

ERIKA: (cackles)

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

TRAVIS: What the hell are you?

ERIKA: Om nom nom nom nom.

ASHLEY: What are you?

SAM: Have we seen a creature like that? Well, I guess we'll find out next time.

MARISHA: This is changeling shit.

MATT: Yeah, you played one. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Oh shit!

LAURA: A changeling.

TALIESIN: Oh! Oh shit.

TRAVIS: Yeah. I didn't know if it was Nightmare King--

SAM: I didn't look like that, did I?

TRAVIS: -- or changeling stuff.

LAURA: I know. It felt very Nightmare King.

MARISHA: Fey shit!

MATT: There are variations.

ASHLEY: It felt very Nightmare King.

MARISHA: But I mean, might be.

TRAVIS: Cool description.

MARISHA: Might be connected.

LAURA: Yeah, I feel like it's connected.

MARISHA: 100% connected.

TRAVIS: I need to see art pronto.

ASHLEY: Holy shit, I fucking was speechless. I didn't know what I was like (babbling). (laughter)

MARISHA: You bitch.

ASHLEY: I didn't think it was actually going to happen for some reason.

LAURA: Oh my god.

MATT: So we'll pick up from there next time. (laughter)

ERIKA: Next week.

ASHLEY: Oh!

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

ASHLEY: Oh my god!

MATT: I am real, real interested to see what happens next time.

ASHLEY: Didn't even question.

LAURA: Yeah, dude. Yeah, dude.

ASHLEY: Didn't even question you.

MARISHA: So good.

LAURA: I thought you were under a mind spell or something.

ASHLEY: Dang it.

TRAVIS: Just on the off chance, just on the off chance.

ERIKA: Just in case I thought I'd throw that out there. (laughter)

MATT: I mean.

LAURA: Oh my god.

MATT: There are little things, little things were dropped, little inconsistencies. I was seeing them, starting to see people pick up on a little bit. I was wondering what was going to put it together.

MARISHA: Yeah, I was all--

ASHLEY: Oh my god. So many things make sense.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: That's weird, though.

ASHLEY: So many things make sense.

TRAVIS: Sneaky.

ASHLEY: Fuck.

TRAVIS: Fucking Russian. (laughter)

MATT: Well.

ASHLEY: Oh my god. Okay.

MATT: We'll pick up there next week, and see where this goes. I'm real interested to see. But until then, thank you so much for joining us.

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

MATT: We love you very much and is it Thursday yet?

ASHLEY: No, it's not yet!

MATT: Good night.

(exclaiming)