Transcript:Scaldseat (episode)

List of Transcripts

Pre-Show
MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons and Dragons and can't listen to a count off screen when we're going to go live. But I appreciate the effort guys.

LIAM: Did you hear me say, "Scaramucci, I fucked up?"

MATT: I did. Don't do that. His life's hard enough right now. All right. Anyway, bringing this back in, thank you for joining us. We'll pick up here in a minute for the actual story, but first we have some quick announcements. No, not Siri. Announcements. Come on. She's all right. First and foremost, tonight's episode is sponsored by our friends at Puzzle Quest. Magic: the Gathering. Samuel, help us?

SAM: Hi, everyone. It's me, Sam Riegel. Tonight, we're pleased to be sponsored by Magic: the Gathering - Puzzle Quest, which you can find at bit.ly/magicrole. Guys, the hour of devastation is hand in Magic: the Gathering - Puzzle Quest. Check out new card abilities like Eternalize and the latest Planeswalker to arrive: Elspeth, the Sun's champion! Not second or third place; the Sun's champion! Jump into daily live events where you can compete alongside your coalition for top placement or head over-- I don't know any of these words.

(laughter)

SAM: Or for top placement or head over to the all new training grounds to perfect your deck! With over 150 new cards, you can craft an all new strategy to dominate the leaderboards! Magic: the Gathering - Puzzle Quest: 50% Magic, 50% match three RPG, 100% Puzzle Quest! Download on the App Store or Google Play. Okay. So typically, when Puzzle Quest is our sponsor I do a little quiz with Taliesin. Today I'm going to throw to Liam O'Brien, just to mix it up. The theme of tonight's quiz is: Is this a Magic: the Gathering card or a Kama Sutra position?

(laughter)

SAM: Black Lotus.

LIAM: That is Kama Sutra.

SAM: That is Magic: the Gathering.

MARISHA: A classic! That is the world's most famous Magic: the Gathering card!

SAM: Reverse cowgirl.

LIAM: Magic: the Gathering.

MATT: Strangely, yeah. White deck.

SAM: She Wolf.

LIAM: She Wolf is Magic: the Gathering.

SAM: No, that's--

LIAM: Goddamn it!

(laughter)

SAM: Lone Wolf.

LIAM: That's Magic: the Gathering. I'm just doing B on every question.

SAM: Illicit Auction.

LIAM: That's Magic: the Gathering.

SAM: You're correct! The Angry Pirate.

LIAM: That's a Sam Riegel original.

SAM: That's a Kama Sutra. Correct, Liam O'Brien. Maybe two more. Two more. The Curled Angel.

LIAM: That's so close to another phrase. Let's call that the Kama Sutra.

SAM: Correct! The Mud Hole.

LIAM: (high voice) Magic: the Gathering?

SAM: Correct!

(cheering)

SAM: The last one, last one: Excavation.

LIAM: Ew!

SAM: It's both.

(laughter)

SAM: Marvel Puzzle Quest! No! Magic: the Gathering - Puzzle Quest

MATT: Yay, Puzzle Quest! This time Magic. Well done, Sam. Well done, Liam!

TRAVIS: I was educated.

MATT: All right, moving on. Laura, you said you had some updates you said as far as merch goes?

LAURA: Merchandise!

TRAVIS: She's playing with her giant trash bag.

LAURA: I just finished organizing it, you guys. Okay. I wanted to give you guys some updates on some merch items. Those amazing posters? They will be sent out in a week. I think. Yes. They will be sent out in a week, because they're in the warehouse now ready to get shipped. I've gotten a lot of messages asking where are the aprons? And the reason that they're not shipped yet is because we ended up selling so many the manufacturer didn't have enough cloth to make the aprons, so then there was a backlog of that. So, they're done, and they're about to get to the warehouse so you'll be getting your aprons in a couple weeks, and then we'll start getting them, so that's solid. Also, we have these awesome necklaces. Also, some other stuff.

SAM: Nice and vague.

MATT: Things are there. (laughs) Thank you, Laura. Let's see, next up. GenCon live. We are at the tail end of any available tickets for the show. So if you haven't got one yet and you're still planning to be around or near Indianapolis for GenCon and want to come see, get it quickly. We're about to close that out. Looking forward to seeing everybody there who's coming, it's going to be fun and depending on the couple episodes, I'm real curious to where it ends up when we get to GenCon.

LAURA: So it's going to be a canon episode?

MATT: Oh, it's a canon episode. It's going to be the next episode.

LAURA: What if we all die at the live show?

SAM: If one of us dies tonight, do we not go to GenCon?

TRAVIS: Yeah, pretty much.

MATT: Well, we'll put you in the front row.

(groaning)

TRAVIS: If you die, we will lower you from above like an angel on a fly reel.

MATT: On the Peter Pan wire setup?

TRAVIS: With some asshole swinging you from side to side.

MATT: Just sending you across the audience.

TRAVIS: (yelling) I want to get down, I can't feel my legs!

MATT: Make an acrobatics check!

LIAM: It's going to be so fucking great.

MATT: So yes. Look forward to that.

LAURA: I like how we all assumed it was going to be Sam that was dead and flying above the audience.

MATT: All right. So also, the Critical Role podcast. We have up to episode 30 now available. Next batch went up, so those of you who are coming on the podcast audio version of our crazy story, those episodes 21 to 30 are available for you now. Talks Machina, once again on Tuesdays. We'll have a discussion about this episode next week and on Tuesday at 7:00pm Pacific, with our wonderful host Brian Foster on Twitch and Alpha.

LIAM: Isn't that the one where they're off, though?

MATT: Are they off next week?

LIAM: I think they're taking a week off, no? The week after?

MARISHA: Both? Both. The week after Gencon we will be streaming the panel that we did at GenCon. I feel like Brian is going to be in New York for Ashley's birthday right now. He flew out today.

MATT: So not next Tuesday, but the Tuesday after.

LAURA: Wait, no! I thought he'll be back by then. No?

LIAM: He'll chime in on Twitter,

MATT: Follow Talks Machina on Twitter for updates about what's happening next episode.

TRAVIS: We planned this *way* in advance.

MATT: Last couple things: Sagas of Sundry. The final episode of Dread is now up on Alpha, and we'll see the finale of that crazy, crazy ride.

TRAVIS: It's so good. The story.

MARISHA: We've got our first Sagas of Sundry tattoo! It's beautiful and gorgeous. I love it. It's amazing.

TRAVIS: Watch the show with the lights on.

MATT: Good. We didn't have that option. And also the new episode of CelebriDND is up as well, where I got to dungeon master wonderful John Bradley who you may know as Sam Tarley on Game of Thrones. Also, had a wonderful guest Laura and Liam joined us for that. It was a lot of fun, so check it out. I believe our last announcement today is the birthday of one fabulous goliath barbarian.

TRAVIS: Once a year, yo. Once a year.

MATT: Travis Willingham, happy birthday.

LAURA: Happy birthday, bb!

TRAVIS: I can't die today, right?

SAM: Where's the cake?

TRAVIS: It's in my stomach.

LAURA: There's no cake, y'all.

SAM: But where's the cake?

TRAVIS: I mean, that was awesome.

MARISHA: I have a little cake eraser. Do you want the cake eraser for the game? Hang on. Where is it? Where did I put it? Happy birthday!

TRAVIS: It's a little Pike cake!

MATT: And on that, enjoy your cake. And let's bring this into tonight's episode of Critical Role.

[dramatic music]

Part I
MATT: And welcome back.

TRAVIS: We didn't say anything

MATT: No, you didn't. I was waiting and there was absolute silence. This is what it's like to have respect

(laughter)

MARISHA: 107 episodes later.

MATT: It's all it took. And it's the last time it will ever happen.

LIAM: Lulling you into a false sense of security.

MATT: So, anyway, last we left off, Vox Machina, in facing the terrible threat of Vecna returned to physical form, sent you all through this conflict to seek audiences with a number of the deities of Exandria. After getting blessings and fragments of the essence of three of the gods, you discovered that Vecna had completed the Ritual of Seeding and ascended into godhood. However, discussing with Ioun, the Knowing Mistress, it will take a little bit of time for him to both understand the extent of his power, to claim his domains, and expand beyond his current condensed avatar form, so time is of the essence. Not to mention that in order to claim the full strength, there needs to be a showing of power and faith to gather attention and faith from the masses?

So with that information, you also imbued upon Grog the ability to blacksmith and Percival the knowledge of the construct of these Divine Trammels, things that could possibly be used to seal and have been used previously to seal a god as killing them is a very difficult and dangerous thing. Retrieving this information, you discovered that the place where this can be crafted is called the Core Anvil. Once belonging to the All-Father, the deity of construction, design and craftsmanship, it resides beneath an underwater volcano known as Scaldseat, off the shore a city called Shorecomb in Issylra. You also had a fantastic little run-in with Vecna, recently, taunting you all.

Last we left off, you had found yourself in Vasselheim, went to the Trial Forge to speak with Earthbreaker Groon, discovered what would be required to attempt to make contact with Kord, and you made communion with the Raven Queen, and in declaring your complete faith in her she offered a piece of her essence to give you the third seed with which to make a third Divine Trammel, and with you all falling asleep within Scanlan's Magnificent Mansion, you cast True Polymorph on yourself to take the form of a planetar and did whatever you did in that form as you all went to sleep that evening.

LIAM: Except that while he was checking out his junk in the mirror-- heavenly junk-- I shut the door behind Keyleth and I. I don't think we should go another couple of days in silence.

MARISHA: Has it been days?

LIAM: Just barely.

MARISHA: Feels like an eternity.

LIAM: I know that you are angry, and I am just-- I'm sorry.

MARISHA: I was angry. I was very angry, and maybe if we had this conversation yesterday, even, I might be yelling that to your face right now. But it's hard to be angry at bravery and selflessness. I mean, we've always had the problem of you having one too many ladies in your life, right? (laughs) It's hard to compete with a god.

LIAM: I've done a lot of stupid things in my life, and I've never had any regrets. I do know the chance you took on me, and I've confirmed your worst fears, and then some.

MARISHA: It's not your fault.

LIAM: Regardless, I am sorry, and I regret that I'm not outright dead already and that you have to stare at this walking pantomime of a life in front of you, but Kiki, I'm grateful for the time I have left to look on you, and I am grateful to fight for that future. And I'm grateful for that chance you took on me.

MARISHA: I wouldn't take it back. You taught me how to take chances. (laughs) Can I ask you a question? What exactly was the deal that you made with the Raven Queen? Was it when we slew Vecna, or defeated him? I have a feeling semantics are becoming increasingly more important.

LIAM: She offered me a way back, and it was the only way back. I wasn't coming back, not after that. Not without her blessing.

MARISHA: Even if we found a way, you wouldn't take it. To reverse the deal. I'm not asking. I'm just confirming.

LIAM: I don't want to leave, but there are some things I wouldn't test. Hey. I do have faith in Her. And faith in you and what you'll do. (sighs) God, I feel so stupid.

MARISHA: It's fitting, really. You can protect that plane. I'll be here to protect this one. I mean, if these past few days have taught us anything, it's death isn't the end. I just don't want to forget. If Sprigg could forget the names of his party members that he died alongside-- he ran-- never mind. What's going to happen in a hundred or hundreds or even a thousand years? I don't want to forget this. What if there comes a day when I don't even recognize the name Vox Machina anymore?

LIAM: I don't believe that will happen. You're going to live a long life. Yes. And you will love again. And you will lead. And you will be loved, because who can not love you?

MARISHA: I can name a few.

LIAM: No one of any worth.

MARISHA: I'm grateful for you, and I always will be. And I'm grateful for any second that we have left. And I don't want to spend any more being angry at you. And I'm sorry that I was.

LIAM: You don't want me to go?

MARISHA: (laughs) Of course not.

LIAM: Hey, I'm fucking cold. Will you give me a hug?

MARISHA: Yeah. It's the weirdest thing, by the way, you being cold. I mean, it's just something to get used to.

LIAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LIAM: I don't have any clever closer. I'm just going to crawl into bed and go to sleep.

MATT: Okay. Both of you curl up and fall asleep. The morning comes. You all come to consciousness within Scanlan's Magnificent Mansion. And find breakfast of various grains and oats and quinoa.

TALIESIN: Lentils.

TRAVIS: What do you mean lentils? What is that? What is a lentil? Is it a leaf? Is it a bean?

TALIESIN: No one really knows, to be fair.

TRAVIS: Why on god's green earth is it even here? I don't understand.

TALIESIN: Lentils are here to punish us.

TRAVIS: Really?

TALIESIN: Yes. We have done something terribly wrong, and now we must eat of these.

TRAVIS: That makes sense an hour from now when I get punished in the loo.

TALIESIN: We are punished by that.

MARISHA: I'm sorry. This head cold mixed with crying is bad.

LAURA: It gets you, right?

MATT: Yeah, it's rough.

LAURA: Yeah, that's what happened to me that day.

MARISHA: It's the worst!

SAM: Well, your voice is super sexy tonight, so that's good.

LAURA: (singing) Smelly cat, smelly cat--

MARISHA: (singing) What are they feeding you?

MATT: All right, so as you finish your meals in the morning, prepare yourself for the actions of the coming day, what do you wish to do?

LAURA: I don't fucking know.

SAM: Are we going to this volcano under the water?

LAURA: Yeah, right? That's where we have to go.

SAM: We need to be able to swim.

TALIESIN: And we need to be immune to poison.

LAURA: Yes, so if we have a Heroes' Feast, that will take care of one thing. And I have two chalices because we never used the one.

SAM: We should save at least one for a certain fight.

LAURA: Yes, obviously.

TRAVIS: You can make us breathe underwater, right?

MARISHA: Yes, I can.

LAURA: All of us? Even Trinket?

MARISHA: (unsure) Yes?

LAURA: And Pike?

MATT: Well Pike, goes up-- yes, don't forget! "I can prepare the feast for you guys. That way, you don't spend a spell of yours for it. As you guys are on this mission to go makes this-- I can be help. I think I need to stay here for now to shepherd both the people in my temple of the Everlight with whatever words I can keep them calm under this chaos in the city."

LAURA: Oh no! Pike, but what if Vasselheim is attacked?

MATT: "Then I can let you know. I also have a Sending spell prepared, so if anything happens, I can let you know immediately. As long as you're on this plane."

SAM: It's so convenient!

MATT: "That's what clerics are here for!" She punches you in the shoulder.

TRAVIS: Can I have something of yours, at least until we see each other again? (sounds of distress)

MATT: "Of course, Grog!" And she comes up to you and, "Let me see your axe real fast."

TRAVIS: Ooh, the Bloodaxe?

MATT: "Yeah!"

TRAVIS: There you go! Mary Poppins handbag.

MATT: She hefts it and takes a little bit of her fading blue hair at the tip and and carves off a little piece of it, hands the axe back to you, and very deftly, braids it into a small braid, ties it off, and hands it to you.

TRAVIS: (gasps) It's the sweetest thing ever.

MATT: "No, but seriously don't eat it, please."

LAURA: That's really creepy.

MATT: "Grog! No! No."

TRAVIS: I tie it onto my necklace.

MATT: Okay. "Please be safe. And if anything happens, I'm going to let you know as soon as possible."

LIAM: Oh man, it's going to hurt not to have you with us, though. Oh, well.

MATT: "You guys will be fine. Better we save our strength for whatever's out there."

TRAVIS: Yeah, and if Vasselheim is attacked, you don't go saving the city all by yourself.

LAURA: Seriously.

TRAVIS: I know what you're like.

MATT: "Why would I steal the fun from you?"

TRAVIS: That's what I thought.

MATT: "Okay!"

TRAVIS: All right. Bye, Pike.

LAURA: Wait no, she has to prepare the Heroes' Feast for us before we say goodbye.

TRAVIS: Hi, Pike!

MATT: You hand her the chalice, and she prepares the feast within the mansion, so what little bit of for some of you may have been an unsatisfying breakfast this morning is quickly taken over by the fantastically tasting feast of such a holy spread. Taking the hour to eat it, all of you guys get the benefits of Heroes' Feast.

TRAVIS: No lentils, right?

MATT: There is a bowl of lentils for those who may want it.

SAM: I had some.

(laughter)

MATT: All right, so as the Heroes' Feast says here--

LAURA: Immune to fear and poison and advantage on wisdom checks.

MARISHA: And you roll 2d10 extra.

TALIESIN: Wisdom saving throws.

MATT: I'm going to roll 2d10 for you guys.

LAURA: Do you guys want food now, or do you want to wait until the break?

TRAVIS and MATT: Let's wait until the break.

TALIESIN: We'll take a slightly early break in the long run.

MATT: Whoa! Two nines!

(cheering)

MATT: That's lucky. Okay, so there you go. That's 18 additional hit points.

LAURA: That can regenerate?

MATT: Yes. That's the maximum of your hit points for the next 24 hours, so keep that in mind, folks.

MARISHA: Yeah, dope!

LAURA: How long do your inspiring speeches last?

MARISHA: Oh, that is an excellent question. How long do my speeches--

SAM: Says Kathleen Turner.

LIAM: Said Harvey Fierstein.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Said Katharine Hepburn.

MATT: Inspiring leader. A creature can't gain temporary hit points from this feat again until it has finished a short or long rest. So you have temporary hit points until your next long rest, essentially.

MARISHA: Okay. So can I double up on that?

LIAM: Give us more hit points?

MATT: You can. It'll be temporary hit points on top of that, yes.

MARISHA: Oh. Yeah.

SAM: We're probably not going to fight anything, though.

MARISHA: Since my voice is completely shot, and I don't want to do a speech.

TRAVIS: Yeah, but we need it.

MARISHA: I am going to do--

MARISHA and SAM: An interpretive dance!

(laughter)

MARISHA: Of us swimming through the volcano, and then going underground and shielding ourselves, and then fighting! And then, Grog's forging the trammels!

(enthusiastic a cappella music)

TRAVIS: Holy shit.

LIAM: Still shouted narration through it all.

(laughter)

MATT: Wow, that happened.

TALIESIN: I'm amazed that took over a hundred episodes. I've been waiting for the interpretive dance for a long time.

LAURA: Yay, how many did we get from that?

MATT: So everyone gets 18 temporary hit points, right?

TALIESIN: Is that max goes up 18?

MATT: No, temporary hit points, so as soon as you take damage, they go away from the temporary first. Temporary never come back. Then you have the maximum hit point bonus.

TALIESIN: So 18 max up and then an 18 on top of that that goes away once you get hit.

LIAM: But do I get sneak attack damage, or is it also a critical hit?

MATT: Raven Queen taketh away. All right, so as you guys are all sitting there watching Keyleth dance while she eats, while you're eating, it's a unique display. You're prepared for the rest of your day, Pike says goodbye to everybody, gives you a hug. Says, "Be safe."

SAM: Pike, will you do me a favor, and will you get word to Kaylie somehow?

MATT: "I can do that, yeah."

SAM: Tell her Dad's okay and saving the world again.

MATT: She goes, "...Done!"

MARISHA: Hey, Pike?

SAM: I should have asked that long ago!

MATT: "Probably, yeah!"

MARISHA: Could you also do one of those to Tary?

MATT: "Right!"

SAM: Well, don't say "Dad's okay, saving the world again." That won't make any sense to him.

MARISHA: Tell him we're all alive.

LAURA: Tell him we love him, and that we're okay for the time being.

SAM: Especially Scanlan. He's probably really concerned.

MATT: (laughs) You see this secondary dull flash and release of energy at her fingertips as she finishes the glyph.

TALIESIN: Are we doing this now?

MATT: There we go, we have food now!

LAURA: We're doing it live! Can I have one slice of breakfast pizza?

SAM: What is this, a restaurant?

TRAVIS: Jesus, what the fuck?

LAURA: He's like: hold on.

LIAM: Pelor, can I have one slice of breakfast pizza, please?

(laughter)

MARISHA: This marker sucks balls!

MATT: So Pike makes her way toward her temple. You guys are still within Scanlan's mansion, what are you doing?

LAURA: Okay, I guess we should exit the mansion. And then--

SAM: How are we traveling? And where are we going?

TRAVIS: Do we Plane Shift?

LAURA: Above the water, over to the volcano. How do we do this?

MARISHA: It's a bit away from Vasselheim, if I remember. I did see a tree, right, that was near the town?

MATT: Yep.

MARISHA: So yeah.

LAURA: Okay, so once we're there, do we know exactly what we're doing?

SAM: We're diving down into the volcano, forging some trammels.

LAURA: And the volcano's underwater. Is that what the schtick is with it?

MATT: Yes. It's on the floor, and you can notice it because across this open clear ocean, there is one column of black smoke that emits from the waves.

MARISHA: So it's an active volcano that we're diving in to?

TALIESIN: Underwater.

LAURA: Solid.

MATT: Essentially.

SAM: One question. I have the infinite blessings of Ioun's knowledge. I am a holy man. However, I'm not exactly clear. Do we need those little peas to make these trammels? And we have three of them. We're not going to get more of these before we forge the trams?

LAURA: I don't think there's time.

TRAVIS: Remember, Delilah was already down there? She was in tunnels underground, right?

LAURA: Somewhere. We don't know where, exactly.

TRAVIS: We don't know if she's at this forge?

LAURA: No, we don't if she's there, we don't know if she's with Vecna.

MATT: The vision that you had, she was topside, and there was snow.

MARISHA: Yeah, she was coming out of Thar Amphala.

MATT: Well, tunnels that burrow beneath the city of Thar Amphala.

MARISHA: And she was coming out. She had both of her eyeballs back, and was like, "Ooh, it's chilly." Bitch! Enjoying the winter snow.

LIAM: Two regular eyes?

MARISHA: Two regular eyes! Why do you think she keeps coming back? (gasps) Oh no.

TRAVIS, LAURA, and LIAM: What? TALIESIN: You're nervous about everything, is that what we've come to?

MARISHA: I don't know, maybe she made a deal similar to the deals we've made, but with Vecna.

TALIESIN: I would assume so.

MARISHA: I mean, if gods can give us their blessing, why can't she have one?

SAM: We should really tip 10%.

LAURA: I know, at least!

SAM: You know, be really generous.

LAURA: Look at this! You guys!

TRAVIS: So we go. Right? Do we go to the shore and then out into the ocean on a ship?

LAURA: We go to the shore, then we climb up the volcano, then we dive into the volcano?

TRAVIS: The volcano is underneath the ocean.

LAURA: But there's smoke coming out of it!

TRAVIS: Underneath the ocean.

MARISHA: Yeah. A trail of black, sooty, bubbly goodness.

TRAVIS: We've only talked about it for four hours; it's okay.

LAURA: I thought maybe the top was coming out of the water.

MATT: No it, it's at the bottom of the ocean. There are volcanoes underwater, and this one is less burning smoke. It's the sulfuric gases and poisonous fumes of the various reactions and chemicals and pressure beneath.

TRAVIS: You never watched behind the scenes in Titanic?

LAURA: I got it.

SAM: How do we get there?

TRAVIS: We go to the shore.

MARISHA: Well, I have a tree. I can get us there.

SAM: Okay. Let's do it.

MATT: So. With your things gathered, you all find your way, I imagine it's not too far of a walk from the Raven's Crest to a tree that is functional for this spell. It's on the southern border of the quarter that holds the Birthheart, the one with all the orchards and various trees there. You find yourselves a suitable tree, gather yourselves, steel yourselves. Now that the morning has come, the tension in the air of Vasselheim and the word that spreads of some sort of looming threat, though sourceless and directionless, definitely has built this air of fear and rush for preparation that surrounds you.

TRAVIS: I have a question, sorry.

MATT: Yes?

TRAVIS: Did Pike come with us to send us off?

MATT: I'll say sure! She walks you guys to the tree.

TRAVIS: Pike? You know you have-- what's it called you put on me one time? That Death Ward? Should we put that on one of us before we go, just in case it's super dangerous? One of the squishier ones? Does someone want Death Ward, so if you go down--

SAM: Put it on Vax.

TRAVIS: Yeah, no.

LAURA: I think either Percy or I.

LIAM: Pass.

LAURA: You.

TALIESIN: You.

SAM: Oh god, just kiss already!

TALIESIN: We do.

SAM: Oh god, no! They do.

TRAVIS: Boulder-Parchment-Shears. Perfect opportunity.

TALIESIN: Flip for it. Heads or tails?

MARISHA: Boulder-Parchment-Shears.

TRAVIS: Yeah, come on.

TALIESIN: Boulder-Parchment-Shears?

TRAVIS: One time. One, two, three, go!

MARISHA: Oh!

LAURA: You.

SAM: Boulder always wins.

MATT: "I can give it to a few people."

(laughter)

LAURA: Thanks, Pike! That's convenient.

MATT: "That's going to tap out my spells there. I'm going to have to save some for Sending, just in case."

LAURA: Yes, of course.

TRAVIS: Those two.

SAM: Mr. and Mrs. de Rolo.

MATT: "Okay, this'll only last for eight hours, so travel quickly."

TALIESIN: It's Mr. and Mrs. Vex, let's be fair.

TRAVIS: Thanks, Pike. I thought it might help. Just in case.

MATT: "You, too?"

TRAVIS: Nope! Nope. I like a little danger in my life.

LAURA: Is this going to be like the kraken fight? Are we going to be underwater fighting again?

MARISHA: I hope not.

LAURA: You weren't there. We almost fucking died because you weren't there with us, Scanlan. I hated you at that moment.

LIAM: Water under the bridge. Water under the kraken. We're on brighter horizons

MATT: As you guys are arguing, she leans forward and beneath her breath finishes the incantation with the Death Ward, and you, Vex'ahlia, it sounds like a soft clinging of gentle metals in the back of your head, and as it hits this warmth hits your chest and then it sets in. It doesn't quite fade, it's like having a localized blanket held to your sternum. Who else would like one?

MARISHA: How many does she get?

MATT: I'll say for the purposes of this, she can muster four.

LAURA: Scanlan.

LIAM: (raspy voice) How many does she get?

MARISHA: (mafia style voice) How many you got?

TRAVIS: Do you want one?

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: If you die, I'm going to be really upset.

TRAVIS: On my birthday? Come on! What are the chances?

MARISHA: He's got that whole barbarian "knock me down, I get back up again" thing.

LAURA: He gets the fuck back up again! You're Hercules Mulligan!

MARISHA: That's why he would be a rogue/barbarian, I think!

MATT: So for those four that have marked it, you have Death Ward, which lasts for eight hours. The first time you drop to zero hit points, it brings you to one, and then the spell fades.

All right. Pike sends you off with a wave and you all step through the tree. You feel the transitional burst of energy as the druidic magics pull you from one living source to another, and you all emerge on the outside of a tree that is barely wide enough to sustain the doorway between the two, and as you all gather on the outskirts, you turn around and you can see this somewhat-leafless *living* through the winter, but not the prettiest tree you've seen. The doorway portal closes behind you.

Glancing around you, there is a light snowfall and you can see slush and snow gathered, dirty, along the edges of the streets. You are on the outskirts of the city of Shorecomb. Population-wise, it can't be more than a few thousand people at most. It looks like there's a very healthy fish trade. To the immediate right of you, there's a cliffside, maybe 200 feet from the edge of the town where there are carts going to and from. You can the large crane carrying large containers and large nets filled with caught fish from the bottom of the cliffside. People around noticed you emerge from a tree, and you can see about four to five of the various peasants and working folk stop in their tracks and stare at you, frozen.

LIAM: I know, weird, right? Really weird.

MARISHA: Hi!

MATT: "This way, James." And he grabs his little kid's hand and the kid is slack-jawed watching you as he drags him off to the side. People start walking again and still glancing over their shoulder, they go about their business, keeping a very close eye.

MARISHA: Maybe I should have found a tree less in the center of town.

TALIESIN: I'd rather be here.

MATT: It's not the center of town, thankfully. Still off to the side, but you did catch the eye of a few folk.

LIAM: I mean you still transported us a long way. That's commendable.

TALIESIN: How would one go about finding out if you're being watched via magical means? Is there a way to do that other than if one is not a magic user? Is that a perception check?

MATT: No, there are actual spells designed for that.

LAURA: Are there spells designed to mask you?

MARISHA: Yeah. I don't think any of us have them.

SAM: To mask you from scrying?

LAURA: Yeah, so people don't see us. Do you know of anything like that, Scanlan?

SAM: I've heard of such things, but I don't currently have one.

TRAVIS: Cool.

TALIESIN: Just curious.

TRAVIS: Good question.

LAURA: Yeah, because Vecna's fucking watching us.

TRAVIS: Right now?!

LAURA: Yeah, all the fucking time.

TRAVIS: You're sure?

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Yeah, right over there.

TRAVIS: Do we take a boat now? Or do we find some dolphins and ride out majestically?

LAURA: Are we on the water?

MARISHA: Can we make our way to the shoreline?

MATT: Okay, it's a couple hundred feet to get to the edge of the cliff. And these are sheer cliffs that drop off for 150, 200 feet or so before it hits very hard pebbled beaches. These aren't sandy beaches.

MARISHA: I stop everybody, saying, be careful. It looks like it could be a thousand feet, which is deceiving.

TRAVIS: You know, you're only talking to yourself. We all know.

MARISHA: A thousand feet is so long.

LIAM: So we're on cliffs facing the ocean, right now?

MATT: Yes, you guys are at the edge of the cliff. You look down, and there are the rocky beaches, there are a number of large dock that jut out from the the rocky beach, and you can see there are about five or six, varying degrees of rickety winding wooden staircase that are built into the cliffside that lead from the top edge of the cliff down to the beach below. you can see a lot of workers are currently hauling large sacks, small crates and boxes, things that are too small to bring on the large winding cranes that they have on the edge as well. There are ships coming, there are ships going. It looks like this is a decent trade stop for cities along the shoreside here in Issylra.

LAURA: What do our elven eyes see? Can we see the smoke?

MATT: Make a perception check.

LAURA: That was a Legolas reference, in case you were wondering.

LIAM: I'm not familiar with that reference.

LAURA: A perception check?

MATT: Yes.

LAURA: 20.

MATT: 20. Glancing out at this distance, the sky itself is very cloudy, very gray. It's a very gray day. It's cold, it's chilly, the wind is blowing, but it's very faint but it's enough to the point where snow is falling. There is a very faint mist in the distance. Either a storm is coming or a storm has passed that's preventing you from seeing any sign of a glimmer of the smoke. So you're not entirely certain the direction.

MARISHA: Can I tell if the storm is coming or the storm has passed?

MATT: Make a nature check.

LIAM: And there are people about?

MATT: There are people about and some of them are just passing, not paying mind, and few of them stop and glance at these very well-dressed, very dangerous looking figures that have now just walked up and look out past the ocean, but no one's broaching any conversation. They look more like they're making a wide berth or keeping a very untrusting eye on you as they walk past.

LIAM: Druid's doing interpretive dance again.

MATT: So what did you get?

MARISHA: I'm a motherfucking human barometer!

MATT: What did you roll?

TRAVIS and MARISHA: Natural 20.

MATT: Oh shit! Okay.

MARISHA: Yeah. I'm really good at the check.

MATT: You get the sense that a lot of the snow that was in the street when you got there and the slush was from a storm that recently passed. And the clouds and the fog that you see in the distance, it looks like it's blowing away.

LIAM: You there, little girl.

MATT: Okay. (laughing) Strangely, no little girl is working at this dock. However, the person you did see that looked like a little girl is actually a generally short fellow who has a wrap over the top of his head, a swollen cheek where it looks like he might have some sort of a tooth infection who spins around. It's not a bonnet. It's a crusty looking fisherman, who is like, "Who are you calling a little girl?"

LIAM: Oh my bad, fellow! Sorry, as you can tell, we're not from around here. Visiting. Yeah, I had a couple of questions. One, is there, there's a volcano just off this coast somewhere, right?

MATT: "Aye."

LIAM: Do you know where it is? Could you point to it?

TALIESIN: Was that affirmative or surprise?

MATT: Points out in the ocean.

LAURA: Is he pointing in a general direction? I look where he's pointing. Can I see anything?

MATT: No.

LAURA: Damn it.

LIAM: Are there boats for rent, for hire?

MATT: "Maybe? Yes? I mean--"

LIAM: All right, thank you, I think that's all I needed from you, okay.

LAURA: I pull out a piece of gold. Do you know where the volcano is?

MATT: "Yes. Why, do you think I'm a dog? What is this kind of treatment?"

LAURA: Do you want to make some gold?

MATT: "Yes! I'd love to make some gold!"

LAURA: Then can you tell me where the fucking volcano is?

MATT: "There we go, straight questions." He rubs his swollen cheek side. You can see his teeth are graying and yellow. There's a little bit of black and decay at the edges, but he grins a little bit at the sight of the gold. "I need a little more than that paltry sum."

LAURA: Paltry sum? How much gold do you see every day? I pull out another piece. Is this enough?

MATT: "Make it five, and I'll introduce you to my docksmen."

LAURA: All I want to know is where the volcano is.

MATT: "But you're not looking for a ship to rent, right? Like he said?"

LAURA: No.

MATT: "All right. (sniffles) Volcano is that way." And he points out. You see he glances over, he lines up where you can see a couple of larger rocks that are breaking out from the shore surface maybe 20 or 30 feet out from where the pebble beach ends and meets the water line. He's lining up his arm and, "That way, about five miles."

MARISHA: Five miles.

TRAVIS: Hey, use your elven eyes, see if you can see it.

LAURA: Yeah, I'm going to look real hard. We're a thousand feet up.

MATT: Still, it's too hard to see right now.

LAURA: Can't we spell ourselves out there?

MARISHA: Well.

TALIESIN: We might want that later.

MARISHA: I mean, we could. We can.

LAURA: We should rent a ship.

TALIESIN: If we get a ship, then when it's all over, we have a way out.

TRAVIS: Otherwise, we're walking five miles underwater.

MARISHA: I would rather save my 8th-level Animal Shapes in case we need to bail.

LAURA: All right, here's three more gold. How about that introduction?

MATT: "That I can muster." Puts the coins in a little pouch in the side and buttons it up and locks it. "All right. Follow me."

SAM: What's your name, young lady?

MATT: "Fenna."

SAM: Fenna. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.

MATT: "You as well, lass."

MARISHA: I love Fenna in my salads.

MATT: Leads you guys back down one of the winding stairways, and you have to wait at certain moments. There are certain areas where it switchbacks, and it's open. You would think it's a platform for looking out, but it's more for letting people get past, and for the pathways up and down, it gets narrow on the actual stairs. But eventually, you make your way down to where these docks are, and there are three large buildings that are the hubs of most people checking in, checking out. They have a number of docksmen that are keeping tabs on what's going in and out of the dock, and what materials are being shipped in, taxing those that are using it temporarily, general business in the vicinity. He leads you over. "Now then, I'm going to introduce you to Senth. She can rent you something, at the very least. I recommend not letting that one in. She has a thing against the smaller folk."

LIAM: Oh shit.

SAM: Oh. I'm being racisted against?

MATT: "Look, I'm not. You seem like a very fine lady."

SAM: Touché, Fenna. Touché.

MATT: "But I know Senth well, and, you want to make a good impression. Maybe keep him outside."

LAURA: You're not the tallest yourself, you know.

MATT: Stretches his lower back with a couple of cracks and snaps. The hunched man gets about four, five inches of height and is almost cresting about Vax height.

TRAVIS: Look, Scanlan. The necklace is really nice on the inside. I can vouch for it.

SAM: I'm not going into the necklace.

TRAVIS: Why not? New experiences, right? Whatever it takes to achieve the mission.

LAURA: Fuck it! Fuck it, I'm not disguising him because of what he looks like! Fuck that.

SAM: Are you standing up for me?

LAURA: Of course I am!

MARISHA: I would like to argue, he just disguised himself for a solid year.

LAURA: I don't care. That was a different reason, and if your fucking dock mistress is such a bitch that she won't give us a good deal because of him then we'll find someone else.

MATT: Fair enough. I would also recommend you lower your voice. We're right outside of her door.

MARISHA: Wait, what's her name?

MATT: Senth.

MARISHA: Senth.

SAM: It's really easy. I don't mind putting on the hat.

MARISHA: It is the principle, but do we have time for principles?

TALIESIN: We have time for principles immediately afterwards, when we come back.

LIAM: We never have before. Why start now?

LAURA: I mean it's up to you, but I don't think you should do it.

SAM: No, let's stand on principle.

TALIESIN: Oh no.

MATT: "Are we done here?"

TALIESIN: Oh, you're still here.

MATT: "Good day."

TRAVIS: Thanks for your time.

MATT: Hobbles off and makes his way back up the stairs. So you come outside to this one dock hub. it's a modest two-story building looks like it has like a watch tower second story and the bottom floor is much larger. The door is currently closed. The wood looks a little sea-rotted. You can see the edges of the wood are curling and dark and perpetually damp. Little bits of green moss and various fungus are starting to gather at the very edges of the building, but it seems to be standing and has been there for a while.

TALIESIN: (knocking sound)

MATT: You knock on the door. A voice inside goes "Come in."

TALIESIN: (door creak) I don't know why I made the sound effect.

MATT: That's okay. As you push the door open, glancing inside, there's general gray dull daylight coming through from the cloudy sky, but there are also a few oil lanterns hanging in different places. You can see stacks of maps or other heavy pieces of parchment that are curled up and tied off in sections. There are small crates, most of them empty, that are scattered about the entranceway here, and as you enter the building you watch as a very tall, thin, lanky female half-orc spins around across the room with a singular monocle that is very, very intense to make one eye look really big over the other. Spins around; sides of the head shaved and the rest of it slicked back against the head with a little bit of a light brown shock against the black to one side. Dressed fairly nice but you can see the clothing at an immediate glance is nice upfront and then tatters at the bottom. Spins around. "Yes?"

TALIESIN: We were hoping to charter a ship at great expedience to about five miles off the coast to the plume of smoke and the underwater volcano.

MATT: You watch as the one eye, moving independently of the other, glances and looks each of you very quickly up and down and then slicks back into place. "That can be arranged, yes."

TALIESIN: Excellent.

MATT: "How long would you wish to charter this ship?"

TRAVIS: Three days?

LAURA: Sure, yeah, probably be less than that but three days, sure.

MATT: Do you have a crew?

TALIESIN: No, we would need to--

SAM: Can any of us sail?

TRAVIS: Not if we want to live.

TALIESIN: We would like to charter a crew also to maintain. We're going to be doing a bit of underwater search and rescue, so.

MATT: "Very well then."

SAM: Will that be possible?

MATT: "Yes."

LAURA: Great. Wonderful.

MATT: "Three days rental including a crew on board. That'll run you approximately 150 gold pieces. I require, to be in case you lose the ship or don't return with it, an additional 500 to hold in case you lose the ship. So a grand total of 650 up front with 500 to be returned upon your return."

LAURA: I'm assuming you have something to sign. I'm sure Percival can draw something up.

MATT: "Oh, but of course. I would not dream of allowing such a thing without a paper trail."

TALIESIN: That will do.

MATT: "Follow me." A quick contract is drawn up. You take a glance over it, Percival. Seems very thorough but nothing beyond what was requested and basically if the ship is not returned all money is forfeit. When the ship is returned, a very intense investigation and perceived state of the ship is going to be requested from an appraiser to see if any damage was taken. Yeah, it's essentially like one of those seedy car rental places that the contract says they will ding you for every damage.

LAURA: How much do ships normally cost?

TALIESIN: I don't know.

LAURA: 600 is very low.

SAM: I feel like we've rented a ship before.

LAURA: But it was far less than this.

TALIESIN: It was far less than this, but at this point I'm saying let's blow the money.

LAURA: Yes, of course. I agree, but an entire ship I feel like would be more than 600.

TRAVIS: We asked this once before, and it was like 30,000.

LAURA: Yeah, so she's giving us a really good deal.

SAM: Maybe it's a shitty ship.

MARISHA: I mean, that's fine. I prefer a shitty ship if it's cheaper.

MATT: Slaps the contract down in front. "Have we a deal?"

TALIESIN: I don't mind.

MATT: "Very well."

SAM: Would you take this as a deposit? I give her this platinum bracelet with a sapphire that I have. We'll get it back when we return the ship. Oh, wait.

LAURA: Maybe you should amend that in the contract.

MATT: The one eye is still looking at you. The other is (buzzing) in front of the bracelet. "I find this acceptable in our agreement."

SAM: But wait, it occurred to me as I was handing that over, we need platinum, don't we? That was platinum wasn't it?

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: Maybe we'll just do gold instead. Sorry, can I have that back? Sorry.

LIAM: Smooth operator.

(laughter)

MATT: Flings it back and there is an expression of, "Of course a gnome would do that." If this were a Telltale game it would say, "Her hatred for gnomes deepens."

LAURA: That's fine. (bing)

MATT: "All right." Immediately puts it into a small shelf, writes down some marks on it. "Very well, I will show you to the Shore Shanty. Follow me, please."

LAURA: Oh, it sounds elegant.

TRAVIS: Shanty's a fancy name for a mansion, right?

MATT: Leads you out to one of the far end docks, and there are a number of decent ships and larger fishing ships, some faster travel ships, some long boats. You see one galleon-size ship that's just left and taken away, and on the far end there is one of the shittiest tugboat-size boats you've seen in a while. Scanlan, you've seen boats like this and they're largely used for either relatively cheap and relatively quick messenger services. A courier ship, if you will. That's about it.

SAM: Do we need a bigger vessel?

LAURA: I have a feeling you don't believe this ship will make it back, do you?

MATT: "Well, that would not behoove me; I wish to keep my ships at dock where they're safe."

LAURA: Of course. Yep.

MARISHA: She's got a high-ass insurance policy on this bitch.

TALIESIN: Clever.

MATT: "The crew is included. Go say hello. Hope to see you back in a few days." Whips around and walks her way back.

TRAVIS: Did you see her eye? It didn't move. How does that happen?

SAM: She seems very pleasant. Don't know what that fellow was talking about. Shall we away? Do we need to make any preparations before we go?

TALIESIN: I think we're ready.

SAM: Do we have all of the materials we need?

TALIESIN: Did we get the platinum from the bank, if I recall? I'm trying to remember.

MATT: Yeah, we'll say that that was your intent last time, that you made the conversion to platinum.

TALIESIN: We would've platinumed.

TRAVIS: Let's meet the crew.

MARISHA: Oh boy.

TRAVIS: How many crew are there?

MATT: There are three. Two of them appear to be the crustiest barnacles. The gentleman that you met earlier, Fenna, looks like the brother of these two that mated. That really lived the life. Both of these men that are inside are playing cards hunched over the table, can't be younger than their early sixties. One of them has a big, thick, gnarled white beard that darkens at the tips which you can only imagine, as most hair tends to get lighter at the tips, means it's crusted with stuff. They're both wearing general seafaring garb and tattered clothing. They're muscular. Their skin is very tan. One of them's wearing a heavy knitted cap that folds back on itself and rests on his shoulder to the side. They are both playing cards and they look over. "I guess it's time to work." Takes the cards, pulls them up from the table. "All right, where we going?"

LAURA: You strapping young lads are taking us out to the volcano.

TRAVIS: Yeah, Scaldseat.

MATT: Both look at each other. "All right, let's wake up Santy."

MARISHA: Santy? Shanty.

MATT and SAM: Santy.

TRAVIS: The name of the boat is the Sea Shanty, but the captain is Santy.

MATT: Santy of the Shanty. Technically, this is Captain Santy of the Shore Shanty.

LAURA: The Shore Shanty?

MATT: Yeah. It's a mouthful.

LAURA: Captain Santy of the Shore Shanty? I love it!

MATT: You watch as this large gentleman walks over and slams his fist on this small, wooden-- ugh, my brain isn't working. Thank you, a hatch in the ground. "We've got customers." And you hear this rustling beneath and all of a sudden the hatch slams up, and barreling out from underneath you see the drunkest, most unshaven, unwashed, gnarled goliath you've ever seen. No facial hair, but bits of frizzled dark hair in the back, which is interesting. Very few goliaths grow hair. Now what's interesting about this, too, is that the size isn't as large as you height-wise, but width is about matching your, so this is a bowling ball of a goliath. Steps up on the top. (grunts)

LAURA: Only taller.

LIAM: A large Danny DeVito.

MATT: Actually, yeah, that's a good point. But if Danny DeVito was also doing Iron Man competitions for a number of years and then let himself go, so he has the bulk of the muscle underneath but then-- Yeah. Doesn't say a word, just looks at you all and then walks out onto the deck of the ship.

LAURA: Great.

TRAVIS: Can I look down into the hatch where he came from? Can I see anything?

MATT: Make a perception check.

LIAM: We're just going from point A to point B. This is just what we need.

TRAVIS: Two.

MATT: It is dark, but you can smell the rum.

TRAVIS: There's rum down there. Down there? There is rum.

MARISHA: Well, we have five miles ahead of us.

TRAVIS: Let's get shit-housed. Who cares what our responsibilities are?

LAURA: How long would it take to go five miles on this fabulous ship?

MATT: Well, one of the two older gentlemen that were there, the one that knocked on the hatch goes, (hums). Sticks his hand out the side of the doorway, "Maybe two hours? Three hours?"

MARISHA: Ugh. No. I'm going to go fix with that. Whatever. You know what I'm saying. (wind noises)

TRAVIS: We haven't even left the dock yet.

MATT: They pull the sail up, they get everything ready, they go ahead and undock from the dock, pull up anchor and the general wind, because it's cliffside here, the wind is pretty strong right here at the bay, so immediately the sail billows open and the ship takes off. And they begin to curve, loosely, in the direction of where you were pointed earlier.

MARISHA: After those initial winds, I take them and keep us going for a little bit.

LAURA: I'm going to keep an eye on where the little guy said the volcano was and try to make sure out drunk captain is taking us to the right place.

TRAVIS: After all, we are going on a three-hour tour.

MARISHA: Actually, it should only be about half an hour, now!

SAM: Ooh! There's sound effects, first of all. Appreciate the sound effects. If we're going on a three-hour tour, I demand to know who's Gilligan, who's the Skipper, millionaire and his wife. The movie star--

TALIESIN: Ginger.

SAM: Ginger, yeah.

MARISHA: Well, then there's the Professor and Mary Ann. Yeah. Well, you might be the Professor. So maybe you're Mary Ann. Does that make me Ginger?

LIAM: Well, wait. Wouldn't you be Thurston Howell III?

TALIESIN: I feel like I would really be Thurston. I feel like Thurston's better.

MARISHA: Yeah. Although actually, yeah.

LAURA: You're Mary Ann, you're Professor.

LIAM: This is going to be very helpful against Vecna.

MATT: You're the crazy monkey on the island that kept fucking shit up.

SAM: Little buddy!

MATT: All right. As you set sail, the wind picks up, speed is enhanced and you gather at this rate probably in under two hours you'll probably make it to the destination with the help of the Air Ashari--

MARISHA: It's a 2nd-level spell. Gust of Wind.

MATT: So as it guides on, Captain Santy stands at the front of the ship glancing out, this giant square jaw just nestled right into where the pecs meet up beneath the thick sweater that's almost like hanging off the arms at this point. No cap, balding head with the scraggly hair in the back, and just looks out into the distance. The rest of the two are just sitting back where there are various jugs of unseen liquid, keeping tabs on the sail. It's a very leisurely, lackadaisical energy on this ship.

LIAM: How many feet, I guess, is this ship from front to back?

MATT: Front to back, I'd say it's about 25 feet.

SAM: We're crammed on this thing.

MATT: This is a tiny ship. It's 25 to 30 feet.

LAURA: There's no way to go any faster on this? Is there no way to go faster, Captain?

MATT: Captain? You say this to the captain? He goes--

LAURA: Do you go out to this volcano often? Lovely.

MARISHA: Santy is so wise.

TRAVIS: Why do you say that?

MARISHA: He sees the sea. Look at him.

TALIESIN: We can all see the sea. It's right there.

MARISHA: Santy of the Shanty seas sees the sea.

MATT: And he points out and you glance out at where Santy the Shore Shanty is, and you can see in the distance there's a little line of dark that is rising out of the ocean.

LAURA: Oh, you found it.

TALIESIN: Santy of the Shore Shanty spotted--

TRAVIS: I will throw something.

MARISHA: Do you think Santy of the Shore Shanty sells sea shells?

TALIESIN: Surely not.

MATT: Rocks fall. Everyone dies.

Quickly enough, you begin to approach and you can now see what was a thin column is now a large billowing stream of dark fume that you can see as the waves get sort of larger and larger the further out you go. Certain swells, some of it breaks up and it chains and snakes upward, based on how it's finding its way to the surface. Eventually, you get within maybe 30 to 40 feet of where it breaks the surface there, and the sails fall into loose and are tied around the bottom, anchor is thrown off the side, chain is let down, and then eventually the captain turns back and--

LAURA and SAM: All right.

TRAVIS: Jeez. Hold on. I saw you drop anchor. Do you have an idea of how deep it is here?

MATT: Glances over the side.

LAURA: Very deep. Is your chain long enough for your anchor to hit bottom? Cool.

LIAM: I'm sorry do you-- do you talk, ever?

MATT: As soon as you say that question, the two other older gnarled gentlemen on the ship go (noises of warning). Captain is just staring at you. (spits) Spits on the ground before you.

MARISHA: I see you're also skilled in interpretive dance. You're very good.

TRAVIS: Oh shit. The ship will be gone when we come back up.

LIAM: Let's not waste time on the gnome business. Let's just go on.

SAM: Let's just do this.

MARISHA: Water breathing!

LAURA: Oh, and Trinket!

MARISHA: And Trinket. (poof)

LAURA: I had him in the necklace because it was such a tiny little boat, but now he's out.

MATT: Yeah. All right. With that you all have water breathing.

LAURA: Oh wait, can he swim? He's good. He did it before, right?

MATT: Yeah. He's as good at swimming as half of your party.

LAURA: He's an expert now after the kraken fight.

SAM: What?

TALIESIN: I'm so glad I don't have to do that. You just do it for me. It's very nice.

MARISHA: Keyleth uses Alter Self to give herself the gill hands. The webbed fingers again. That was cool.

TRAVIS: You got to do a proper paddy entry into the water. (splash)

MATT: Perfect. As each of you make your way into the water (splashing). You can smell, by the way, the fumes. You can see when you see the dark color of it you immediately envision or at least instinctively prepare for the smell of fire smoke or a fireplace. As soon as it hits you, it's a very acrid, sharp metallic smell with hints of sulfur and other chemicals that burn the inside of your nose and sinuses immediately.

LIAM: In the water, going up our noses?

MATT: It's the proximity. Being near, you can smell occasionally as the wind blows through, a whiff gets to you. You all make your way under the surface and begin to swim down, following with your vision where the source of this dark column of fume is.

TRAVIS: Do we have good visibility?

MATT: It's all right.

TRAVIS: 40 feet? 60 feet?

MATT: I'd say about 60 feet or so before it gets a little murky.

TALIESIN: I think I've still got one more charge on the flashlight, if I recall.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: The red light?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: All right, so you guys make your way... down below. Who's leading this? I should get a marching order for underwater, by the way.

LIAM: I will go ahead.

LAURA: I'm useless and Percy's useless underwater.

TALIESIN: Extremely useless.

MATT: Percy has the light, too.

TALIESIN: I'll be in the middle.

MARISHA: I'll be with Percy, more up front.

MATT: All righty.

LAURA: I'll be just behind Percival.

MATT: All righty. Grog?

TRAVIS: Where should I be?

MATT: You're sinking faster than most anybody.

TRAVIS: Yeah. How about I'm the down-weighter system for whoever's in the front? I'll hold onto their ankles.

MATT: Is Trinket in your necklace or swimming, as well?

LAURA: He's out. He's swimming.

MATT: Okay, so Trinket's trying to keep up next to you. Scanlan, where are you?

SAM: I'm probably next to Percy.

MATT: All right, so you guys begin making your way down. You can breathe the water just fine as you descend 40, 60 feet, 80 feet.

LAURA: I'm equalizing.

TRAVIS: You're breathing water. It's not necessary.

LAURA: Really? Your ears wouldn't pop, still?

TRAVIS: There's no air in your sinuses.

LAURA: Oh, right. Okay.

MATT: It's funny. You mention equalizing, and I can't help but try and do it myself now.

TRAVIS: Quick question. Like in space, can we talk underwater if there's no air going through our vocal cords? Cool.

LAURA: Oh, good. We can't communicate.

MATT: I'll say because you have the earring, it's a little garbled, but you can hear it a little bit.

MARISHA: It's like that game we played when we were growing up.

MATT: You can make out the gist of things, but depending on how fast you're talking, it could be hard to hear. It's getting darker and darker the farther down you descend, and the water gets murkier and murkier. It also gets warmer.

TRAVIS: Stop peeing, Vax.

MATT: (chuckles) I was waiting for it.

LAURA: You called him Vex.

LIAM: Vax, and I said sorry at the same time, so I'm peeing right now, is what I'm saying.

MATT: It's good. It leads you into it. Descending further and further, the only visible light that you have is the one that Percival is shining below, and as it goes through, you can see it reveals another 40 or so feet ahead of you, and then as you pass over, it suddenly becomes shorter and then longer again as it comes and hits the smoke, and you can see the smoke and the fume now. It's billowing up at a rapid pace, and the water is getting hotter and hotter, to the point where now it's starting to feel like a sauna.

LAURA: (garbled) We didn't think about fire.

MATT: About another 20 or so feet, and it's hot enough to stand, but it's getting really uncomfortable, and with Percival's light, you can see the bottom. (soft impact) You guys all land there at the bottom of the ocean. It's so dark that outside of Percival's light and the glow around you, you only see the outline of each other from the splash-back of the light as he projects it around.

LAURA: Does anybody have any light?

MARISHA: I can light up my flame hands.

TRAVIS and MATT: You're underwater.

MARISHA: But it's magic. I thought it doesn't matter?

MATT: I will say, you get a little bit there, and it's fighting against it. It's a very faint glow. You can see where Keyleth is, but it doesn't add any light to the rest of this.

TRAVIS and LIAM: (garbled noises)

LAURA: We really need to say stuff, though, because no one's going to be able to understand us.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Do you see anything around us?

MATT: Make a perception check.

TALIESIN: I may join in on that, because I have a flashlight.

LIAM: 28.

MATT: You guys both have disadvantage on this, by the way, because of the lack of visibility.

LIAM: 28.

LAURA: Scanlan, don't you have Dancing Lights or anything?

TALIESIN: 21.

SAM: I can make a Fireball. (garbled) I can make a Fireball, but it will probably go out really quick.

LAURA: (garbled) Don't you have a Dancing Lights cantrip or some shit like that?

SAM: (garbled) No.

LAURA: (garbled) Lame.

MATT: All right, so glancing down, you can see you guys are standing on a rising upward cone; the top of the volcano at this point, where you can see all the ground below you, especially immediately around where the water or the fume is gushing out, is porous, dark rock. There's no soot; there's no soft surface that you hit. There's no usual bottom of the ocean you expect. Yeah, no sediment. It's just hard rock. The force of the vents seems to be pushing any of the sediment off, and it descends slowly around you and disappears into the darkness.

You can see a number of small-- strangely enough, with the heat of the surrounding area, too, you can see little bursts of color within the porous rock, and with a quick glance, Vax, you can see there are bits of plant life, colorful pinks and purples that are slowly pulled into the porous rock on the outside of these vents. You can see a very faint glow in a couple of places of the rock where it seems there is still some sort of very hot, very slow pressurizing molten rock that is cooling slowly. It looks like there's this constant slow battle between the ocean water and whatever's forcing upward.

MARISHA: Do I see any-- (garbled) Do I see--

MATT: (whispering) Don't, please.

(laughter)

MATT: Please don't.

LIAM: It sickens me.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Are there any pockets other than the main pressure point that might be a smooth entry point?

MATT: Right now, where it's emerging, these jets of extremely hot fume that are billowing past you, it looks like there's one concentrated opening at the moment. As you walk around, it looks like it's not one central column. It looks like there's a number of smaller fissures that are all clustered around this area, and it's hard to see the separation because so much of it's mashing into one giant column as it emerges.

MARISHA: Okay. Yeah. All right, so it's hot water and gas coming up. If I theoretically wanted to do a Control Water spell and reverse the water inwards, could we go in through one of these tunnels? Through one of these fissures?

MATT: You can certainly try.

TALIESIN: I hate that phrase.

TRAVIS: You've got the Death Ward. Go for it!

MARISHA: I'm more thinking for all of us. I don't know how else we're going to get in.

LAURA: Can you make yourself a fire elemental, and it won't damage you if you go-- or will water fuck with you?

MATT: Oh, water will *fuck* with you as a fire elemental.

MARISHA: I could be a water elemental, though.

MATT: You could.

TRAVIS: Should we walk around? The volcano, is it massive?

MATT: You don't know. Your visibility vanishes about 40 feet away from you.

LIAM: And we're just seeing little glows in the distance?

MATT: You're seeing little glows within the actual areas where the fumes are spewing up. You're seeing down where the smoke is emerging. You're seeing every now and then a faint glow that appears here and there.

TALIESIN: Are the faint glows repetitive, like they're coming from the same place over and over again?

MATT: Yeah. It looks like the glow is stationary. It's just the smoke obscuring it as it passes by and occasionally gives you a glimpse.

TALIESIN: Let's head towards the glow.

LAURA: Yeah. It might be magma coming out, though.

TRAVIS: There are tunnels that exist already.

TALIESIN: It might be magma. Also, if we see anything resembling an air bubble, then we know there's something that breathes.

MARISHA: If we want to wait a few minutes, I could do a Commune With Nature.

LAURA: Yeah, do that. That's smart! Yeah.

MARISHA: I'm going to be like, underwater tea party! (glugging) And do a Commune With Nature for a little bit. I get three questions? I want to find any easy tunnels.

LAURA: Man-made tunnels.

MARISHA: Man-made tunnels that aren't going to bake us alive.

LAURA: Any dangerous creatures in the area.

MARISHA: Any dangerous creatures in the area. That's good. And the Anvil. Okay.

MATT: Because of the nature of this, the radius is limited to 300 feet because it's considered a somewhat underground, not out-in-the-open setting.

MARISHA: All right, yeah, 300 feet.

MATT: All right, so. You take the minute and concentrate beneath. And with that all of a sudden you feel your conscious extend into the rock and stone and the various forms of plant life that have made home around the outskirts of the top of this volcano's caldera. Your questions are?

MARISHA: Are there any man-made tunnels that will grant us access into the volcano without burning us alive?

LAURA: And where are they?

MARISHA: And where are they?

SAM: That's two questions.

MATT: No.

TRAVIS: Man-made is not important.

SAM: How about, any tunnels?

MARISHA: Are there any tunnels getting into the volcano?

MATT: You feel the sense of the rock and the surrounded material guide your attention, very focused, into the center of where that fume is erupting.

TALIESIN: Oh. Okay.

LIAM: The anvil is probably too far away at this point. Yeah, it's probably not right here at the top. What about these colorful plant things floating past us? Are they going to sting us and paralyze us?

SAM: Should we find out, from nature how far down in the magma it is?

TRAVIS: Yeah, what the location of the Anvil is?

MARISHA: I'm afraid that 300 feet--

LAURA: But maybe it'll know how, how far away it is even though it can only. Does it work that way?

MARISHA: Within 300 feet, I can see the area.

LAURA: Oh, okay.

LIAM: Said the fantasy heroes.

MARISHA: Yeah. Hostile creatures! Hostile creatures in the area.

MATT: Hostile creatures in the area?

MARISHA: Dangerous hostile creatures. How many more adjectives can I throw in there?

LIAM: Pissy.

TALIESIN: Irritated creatures.

TRAVIS: Starving.

MARISHA: Do harm. Ill will.

MATT: Terrain. Bodies of water. Prevalent plants, minerals, animals or peoples. Powerful celestials, fey, fiends, elementals or undead. You do get a very faint sense of elemental movement. You're not quite sure what that pertains to specifically, but it is moving just outside the radius of your sphere of understanding here at the top of the volcano, and it is moving slowly through rock.

LAURA: There you go

SAM: Through rock

MARISHA: Earth Elemental.

LAURA: So we need to go in the top, yeah?

TRAVIS: Or through rock. You can make tunnels, right?

MARISHA: I can make tunnels.

TRAVIS: I would prefer to do that than down the barrel of the shotgun, but that's just me.

SAM: Travis, can you say that with your finger flapping on your mouth please?

TRAVIS: (garbled) No.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Are we concerned if I start boring tunnels into the side of this that magma and pressure will start releasing out the side?

TRAVIS: I'm just saying.

SAM: He's just saying.

LIAM: Vax swims down towards the cone. And I think the last time I talked about the Deathwalker's Ward, I'd set it to fire, so we'll say fire.

SAM: Immune to or resistant to?

MATT: Resistant to.

MARISHA: Is my mantle helping with the heat?

MATT: Yeah, the heat isn't bothering you as much. It helps with extreme heat as a general weather type, but intensely dangerous heat like fire or anything, it's not going to help you with that. So you dive into the center?

TRAVIS: Yeah, I forgot. He's like a crash test dummy. We'll worry about that later.

MATT: You watch as Vax disappears into the liquid. The pressure is a lot. I need you to make an athletics check first.

LIAM: Okay, that's what I'm best at. Athletics. Natural 20. Thanks, Matt Colville.

MATT: You swim down into the darkness and you're using your sense of balance to keep tabs on what up and what is down, because once you dive into the middle of this pillar you see nothing. And you begin to swim down feeling for where the gravity is pulling you and the force against you, and use that to get your bearings.

LIAM: I know it's probably fuck all, but I want to pull out the Flame Tongue Dagger and try and use it as a shitty ass--

MATT: You can faintly see a little bit of it there. You do take three points of fire damage as soon as you enter the water, reduced to one. So you manage to push through and descend about 15 or so, 20 feet. You suffer another six points of fire damage, again reduced to three. Need you to make another athletics check, please, as you're pushing further and further down.

LIAM: Use my first luck of the day. Oh, not good. Same thing. Just a six.

MATT: A six? It begins to push you up, you begin to lose a little bit of ground. You take another one point of fire damage. You begin to make up, and you get partway down. You get another 40 or so feet down into it, you think. Still unable to really see anything. Cccasionally, you see a glint of that light that you saw before. The little bit of glow. You take another three points of fire damage, reduced to one. It is a lot of heat, but you continue to push further. Make another athletics check, a third one.

LIAM: 20, total.

MATT: 20? (grunting) Pushing along, still making your way down, making your way down. You get probably another 80 or so feet before it seems to curve off a little bit to the side, The force of the water begins to shift a little bit. You take another three points of fire damage. You begin to see a faint bit of that glow that you were following earlier, and as you head towards it the heat gets more and more intense. You begin to push past some of the smoke, and you can see right there, looks like there's a glowing ember of rock about five or six feet wide that is molten rock that is slowly cooling as it's being pushed faintly out, but the force of the water curves off to the side and you continue to swim away from where that glowing ember is and following the path of where this push of water is. You take another two points of fire damage.

LIAM: Okay. I'm Ed Harris, sinking down and down and down.

MATT: The temperature is on the up and up. You continue to swim, continue to swim. Further down, further down, further down. Make another athletics check.

LIAM: 16.

MATT: 16, okay. You're slowing down a bit, but you're still gaining ground. You also take another three points of fire damage. This is getting hard.

LIAM: Yeah?

MATT: And even your form, you're getting a little tired, having to go against this force. And you're not quite sure where this is going to lead you. You're not going to stumble across an opening where it's fine to walk. You're continuing to swim down a superheated--

LIAM: I'm going to push it just a little bit more.

MATT: Okay, make another athletics check.

LIAM: Okay. That's not good. That's a seven.

MATT: Okay. You get pushed back about 15 feet or so, and you take another three points of fire damage.

LIAM: And I'll go with it, up.

MATT: Okay. You ride up. Before you can get entirely out of the column, you take another three points of fire damage and eventually emerge from the side of it. Uncomfortable.

LIAM: Back into warm piss water, instead of boiling hot.

MATT: Yes, which comparatively is much more comfortable.

LIAM: Nope!

TRAVIS: What did you see?

LIAM: I mean. You can't really understand me though, can they? Right? It's all shit.

LAURA: Oh, we can understand you.

MATT: You have the earring on.

LIAM: It goes forever. I think we need to look elsewhere. I don't think all of us are going to make it down that fucking tunnel.

MARISHA: What if I'm controlling the currents?

LIAM: (sighs) That would help. It was getting hot as hell down there. I don't know. I mean, maybe a quick look around the perimeter of this thing?

MARISHA: I didn't find anything.

TRAVIS: Yeah, but it might be worth it. We don't even know what the Core Anvil looks like.

TALIESIN: We have a broom.

LIAM: We're not going to muscle our way down.

LAURA: No, it doesn't do anything in-- it flies.

TALIESIN: Does it not work underwater?

LAURA: I can try. But it flies.

TRAVIS: I mean, no.

MATT: You can certainly try.

LAURA: Yeah. It'll just sit.

LIAM: Well I think we're either druiding our way in or looking for another way in, somehow.

LAURA: Fuck. How long did that take?

MATT: He was gone for about a minute. Minute and a half.

SAM: I have an idea. What if I can make us a tunnel straight down the middle? Would the heat kill us or would the water tamp down the heat? If I can make a ten-foot wide tunnel all the way through, down?

LAURA: With no water?

TRAVIS: It might make another exhaust port for the heat and the water.

MARISHA: That's what I was saying. I'm afraid of the pressure.

SAM: The pressure of what? Once it comes up, it becomes rock. Oh, I see. There's more underneath.

TRAVIS: You didn't see tunnels, right? You didn't see tunnels in the sides of the volcano?

LIAM: No.

TRAVIS: Because we're not trying to go down, we're trying to find the tunnels.

SAM: What tunnels?

TRAVIS and LAURA: There are tunnels here.

MATT: Both Percival and Scanlan, make an intelligence check, please.

SAM: Just a straight intelligence check?

MATT: Just whatever you roll plus your intelligence modifier.

SAM: Eight!

TALIESIN: 14.

MATT: 14. On this discussion of burrowing deeper within, if there were any places that you could walk that were not completely filled with water, per se, the minute you would expose it, it would begin to fill with water. Which means you'd think of a way to either plug it or just stay wherever water exists within the system beneath.

TRAVIS: Right. I don't know if we're trying to get to the inside of the volcano shaft.

MARISHA: Our water breathing lasts for 24 hours.

TALIESIN: Let's roll around a little bit. See if we can see anything else.

LAURA: Maybe we can go around the perimeter and we see if we can find some sort of entrance. Some magical-looking entrance.

MARISHA: Scanlan, your burrowing. What means are you using for that?

SAM: Magic.

MARISHA: Touché.

SAM: Sorry Miley Cyrus.

TRAVIS: There's a chance the Core Anvil could be made of molten rock, right? There's nothing that says it's a not dangerous, totally cool to be around piece of thing.

MARISHA: I have a feeling that's exactly what it is. It's going to suck working around that thing. Sorry.

TRAVIS: I'm not worried about it. Well, we've got to find whatever it is. We don't even know what it looks like!

LAURA: Do you know, Percival, what it looks like? Did you see it in your mind's eye?

MATT: You only have the construct of the actual trammel, not the anvil.

TRAVIS: Yeah, when I was getting the upload from Morpheus, did I see what the Core Anvil might look like? Or was it just like "I'm just hammering and Rambo 2 montage music is playing."

MATT: More that.

MARISHA: Scanlan?

SAM: Yes?

MARISHA: Okay. Can we tag-team this?

SAM: All right, I can be a burrowing monster.

MARISHA: Okay, what if you burrow and I push the water away--

SAM: Is that a spell?

MARISHA: Yeah, Control Water. I can push it away, and if you do that, then maybe we can all get in and then maybe I can throw up a wall!

SAM: All right, I can burrow. You can deflect water and stuff?

LAURA: Through the mountain? Through the volcano, instead of down the top, like what he just did.

SAM: Whatever you want.

MARISHA: Or I can control the currents and suck us all right through down the top.

TALIESIN: I like "control the currents." I don't know.

SAM: But the currents can't go down because stuff is coming out, no?

MARISHA: As part of Control Water, I can reverse the currents.

SAM: But you can't control the lava coming up.

MARISHA: No, it's water and gas and pressure.

SAM: Oh, it's just gas. It's not lava.

MATT: You can also part water, don't forget, as a part of this, too. You can also part water.

MARISHA: I can also part water, like fucking Moses.

MATT: Yeah, or redirect flow. Or create a whirlpool. There are all things you can do.

LAURA: Solid, then let's try it.

LIAM: What were you thinking? Were you thinking of Umbrasyling this shit, where you going to black dragon dig your way down?

SAM: I was going to become a purple worm. They're excellent at burrowing and are big and could make a big tunnel.

LAURA: Are they resistant to water and heat?

SAM: No, but they are stacked with hit points.

LAURA: Solid.

MARISHA: That would be one of your top-level spells, yeah?

SAM: The toppest.

LAURA: Let's not do that just yet. Let's control current and see if we can fucking do it, with some light this time.

TRAVIS: We need a walk. Walk the perimeter

MARISHA: I mean, we can still walk the perimeter if you want.

LIAM: I mean, we got a little under 24 hours. Fuck it, let's look.

MARISHA: We can walk the perimeter

TALIESIN: Let's do a little walk of the perimeter, and when we're ready, we're going to jump down and we'll Mary Poppins it.

MATT: Okay, so you guys begin to make your way around, spiraling the outside of this.

TALIESIN: Looking, using the light.

MATT: Okay, what are you looking for?

TALIESIN: I'm looking for other expelling gasses, interesting plant growth, lights.

LIAM: Anything that looks not-natural.

TRAVIS: Yeah, caves.

MATT: Okay, everyone who's looking, make an investigation check.

MARISHA: Investigation? Natural 20.

(cheers)

TRAVIS: Oh, minus two. 17.

TALIESIN: 14.

LIAM: 18.

LAURA: Ten.

MATT: As you guys are glancing about, for over the next 15 or so minutes, just swimming around and keeping an eye out there. Keyleth, with your glowing hands and cruising across as you head down, you can feel a couple of other small changes in the current. Less of a fume release, more than there is a warmer area of water in a small area and you find there is a pressurized jet of water coming out of one section maybe about 25 to 30 feet down on the side.

LAURA: Hey! You're smart, Grog!

MARISHA: How big is the jet?

MATT: I'd say it's between about three feet long on one side and about a foot long on the other. It's a fissure.

LAURA: So we can get through it?

MARISHA: Yeah, can Grog fit?

MATT: No.

MARISHA: Okay.

TALIESIN: But can Trinket fit?

MATT: No, Trinket or Grog, neither of them can fit. Most of you guys have to squeeze through, and it's as hot as the water that was coming out of the top.

MARISHA: Is it made out of stone? Can I call this earth? Can I call this rock?

MATT: It's considered rock. It's volcanic rock.

MARISHA: So Move Earth would not work?

TALIESIN: Or Grog can punch it.

LAURA: Yeah, Grog can punch.

MARISHA: You are good at destroying structures.

SAM: You're going to punch a volcano?

MATT: Yeah, dirt, sand, or clay, so I'm going to say no.

MARISHA: Can I transmute the rock into dirt or sand to give us a little more?

MATT: If you have the means of doing that, you could.

MARISHA: I have Transmute Rock. Or we can let Grog go first.

TALIESIN: Let's let Grog punch a volcano.

MATT: You want to punch a volcano?

TRAVIS: Kind of.

TALIESIN: Teach it to say your name!

MATT: Roll a strength check.

TRAVIS: Say my name, bitch!

LAURA: Don't you get advantage?

TRAVIS: I do. Only if I'm raging.

MATT: I'll give you advantage on this because it's a volcano punch.

TRAVIS: Hey! Oh, 26.

LAURA: Don't you get advantage because your gauntlets?

MATT: Well, no. The gauntlets don't give him advantage, but they do give him siege and he does double damage against structures and I'll consider this a natural structure. You rear back, and as you do, you guys watch. You haven't really watched him use this type of power in the dark before, and you watch as the faint bit of a few yellow runes glow as he pulls back and then slams into the side and you watch as rock breaks and bits of the volcanic rock break off and begin to tumble down the sides. He punches again and punches again and as you do, watch as the water flow, you feel the warmth come up. You immediately take six points of fire damage from the heated jet in front of you, but as you slam it one more time, part of it (rock collapsing) gives away underneath as one side of it begins to jet up, you watch as it looks there is a gap or an air pocket that collapses inward and the water begins to fill in immediately.

LAURA: Let's get in quick and then cover it. We go fast, go in.

MATT: Okay. You guys are all fighting against the current?

LAURA: Well, didn't you say it was an air pocket?

MATT: Well there was an air pocket that you saw, but the stone as he punched in, as soon as it collapsed inward it was away from where the jet was. It's a very interesting thing to try and describe here in a theater of mind scenario.

MARISHA: We're trying to go through an outward jet to this caved-in air pocket.

MATT: Yes, so essentially you've opened up where the jet's strength has diminished a little bit at the surface at this point, and you've watched as you've punched and there will be another chamber below that was an air chamber collapsed inward, and ocean water is rushing into it right now.

MARISHA: Okay, okay. Let me Control Water with the current, and can I redirect the current up and around us to allow us to get in?

MATT: Okay, so Control Water takes an action to cast. So as soon as that happens, you finish the spell and as the ocean water begins to rush in (water rushing), it immediately pulls back out, and you can actually stop the current that's blowing upward and heated water is held in place, and you can look down below. The water is this slightly shimmering barrier and there is because a small air-filled chamber below.

MARISHA: Okay, yeah, I'm pushing the water, parting it, giving us a little.

SAM: Can we fit through whatever hole there is?

MATT: Actually, looking down inside, it looks to be roughly 20 or so feet wide on almost any other side, and it looks to be that there's a small, still pool that is there in the ground. It's a small air pocket.

LAURA: Yeah, I go in after him.

MATT: Okay, you all rush inside there. You land past it and it's about a 15 foot drop, you all land on your feet or stumble off to one side and catch yourself, but you're now in this chamber beneath.

SAM: And the only thing keeping the water from rushing in here is Keyleth?

MATT: Keyleth currently, yeah.

LAURA: I like how everything is like, "Keyleth can do this." Can you wall it off with Create Wall?

SAM: Well, not while casting this spell.

MARISHA: All right, push the water, Wall of Stone (boom).

MATT: As soon as the water pushes away, it begins to pull back, and immediately you can hear the rush of the ocean suddenly, oppressively, darting downward to fill the space where you are and then with that, (slamming) you watch as volcanic stone stretches out and slams shut. You're now in a pitch-black room except for the surface of his light and the glowing of Keyleth's hands.

LAURA: Yay! Which are brighter now because we're not in water.

MARISHA: Oh!

TALIESIN: Ow, my ears popped.

SAM: That was amazing!

LAURA: That was fucking sick!

MARISHA: You punched a volcano!

TRAVIS: I did, didn't I! Grog versus the volcano!

MATT: As you guys have this conversation, you're talking, and sounds are happening, everything's fine. But, (sighs) breath is hard.

MARISHA: Oh, oxygen?

SAM: Or poison?

TRAVIS: Air pocket.

MATT: All of the air in here is poisoned. There is no oxygen in this room. There is that pool of water in the center, maybe four-foot wide, and you can see it's kind of bubbling a bit, like whatever the fume is that's filled the space is--

LIAM: How does Heroes' Feast factor into this? Heroes' Feast. Doesn't that guard against poison?

MATT: You're not poisoned. You're not having toxic shock and dying right now, but you're suffocating.

TALIESIN: I'm going to put my face in the water and breathe.

MATT: It's not affecting you. You're fine.

LAURA: Oh, because you don't breathe.

SAM: You're already dead.

MARISHA: Weirdo.

TRAVIS: Yeah, put your face in the water and breathe.

TALIESIN: I'm putting my face in the water and attempting to take a breath.

MATT: The bubbling of air there is the same fume here.

TALIESIN: I'm just trying to use the water breath.

MATT: Oh, the water breath itself? Oh, with the water breathing? The water you can breathe.

LAURA: Oh, great! So any time we need a breath we just breathe, okay!

TALIESIN: We might start getting a little loopy if we stay out here for too long.

TRAVIS: Vex, will you look for anything that looks like a Core Anvil? And I stick my face in.

LAURA: I take a breath and I start looking for a door or any way out of this.

TALIESIN: I'm going to open the light fully.

LIAM: Flame Tongue Dagger is out so I can see the non-water portion.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: 18.

MATT: 18. You go in and take a breath and you look down below, especially with the light and the lamp that's going around, you can see where this is happening, in this little pool, there's another small tube that descends farther and curves away out of sight.

LAURA: (gasps) Is it wide enough for all of to fit through?

MATT: Well, from what you can see before it curves off, it looks like it could probably fit everybody.

LAURA: Hey! There's a tunnel down there!

TALIESIN: I'm going to tilt the light into it and take a look down.

MATT: Okay. Looking down it does; it's a curvature off, it looks like at one point there was some sort of an escape, or at least that jet that you originally found earlier? Part of it got locked off and while the get of water continued, the opening here kind of got covered with some sort of liquid rock and it created this pocket. You can swim down there. Who knows where it leads, but it does not appear to have any sort of a forceful jet.

SAM: It's a tube? We're in one of the cow's stomachs.

MATT: Essentially.

MARISHA: Control Water lasts up to ten minutes, so if we want to commit to this, I can help jettison us there.

MATT: You have to cast it again, though, because you lost concentration.

MARISHA: Why?

TRAVIS: Because you made a Wall of Stone.

MARISHA: We decided early on that Wall of Stone was instantaneous. And permanent.

MATT: Permanent and concentration. Yeah, okay, I'll let you go with that.

MARISHA: Because it was in Pathfinder.

TRAVIS: Do we want to get rid of the water, though? Because that's what's allowing us to breathe.

MARISHA: The water? Just happens. Us breathing water is good for 24 hours.

SAM: But if we get rid of the water, then we won't have anything to breathe.

MARISHA: No, I'm going to Control Water, and I'm going to jettison us with the current.

SAM: Okay, go for it.

LAURA: Let's take it a little slow because we don't know what we're coming up to, though. I don't want to jump full-force into--

MARISHA: Yeah. It'll be like Lazy River.

LAURA: Something like that. Lead the way, darling.

MATT: Well, how the spell works is if you maintain concentration for the whole duration, it becomes permanent.

MARISHA: For the whole duration?

MATT: For the whole duration. Which is ten minutes.

MARISHA: But I haven't done that because I've already jettisoned this one water, and then now I'm trying to use the remaining--

MATT: It's fine. Don't worry about it.

LAURA: Let's just go in the water. I follow him. Although Percy should technically be up front because he's got light.

MATT: Okay, so Percival goes first, followed by Vax, then Vex.

TRAVIS: Me in the middle.

MATT: Grog. Is Trinket still swimming along with you?

LAURA: Trinket is behind Grog.

MATT: All right. And then that's Scanlan and Keyleth at the very end. All right. You guys dive past under the water. It curves, and you can see there's a faint light source in the distance. This curves below. It splinters downward and then curves up slightly, and that's where the light source is coming from.

TRAVIS: Yeah, of course. Air pocket.

LIAM: I'm going to go stealth.

MATT: Make a stealth check.

TRAVIS: Do your Navy SEAL shit.

LIAM: That's fine.

TRAVIS: Come out of the water, eyes open.

LIAM: 34.

SAM: 34? Jesus.

MATT: All right. You think you're pretty stealth.

LIAM: I think I'm pretty stealth.

MATT: You think you're pretty stealth.

LIAM: All right.

TRAVIS: I don't like the way he said that.

LAURA: I know!

MATT: Go upward?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Okay. As you get up, you see a familiar orangish-red glow, and as you see the surface of water above you, there's another, looks like an air pocket. You emerge. You look about, and it looks like there is another tunnel here, but there's a faint glow. It looks like there are small veins of cooling volcanic rock in this area. The tunnel continues. There's actually ground that you can walk on that continues down and curves out of the way.

TRAVIS: The walls are cooling?

LIAM: I just turn to the group and I'm going to--

LAURA: Can you see by the light of the magma?

MATT: You can see fairly, with your elven vision, yeah, and with your dagger. So yeah, you begin to walk on the surface. The surface is cooled, and it's very hot in here. But not painfully so, like when you dove into the caldera itself. You walk down about ten or 15 feet and you see it's now breaking of in various directions. You can see small pockets where it closes off, areas where it looks like whatever air or gases were trapped up when parts of the volcano would expand and pressurize upward, it would trap these areas. But you see areas where liquid rock are spilling into and creating small pools. And it continues to descend, almost like a curved spiral, around the way.

LIAM: So there's a walkway, but there's also lava?

MATT: Very faint trickles, and cools slowly on the floor.

LIAM: I've only gone about 20 feet at this point, is that right? I am going to go around the bend. Continuing quietly.

MATT: You go around the bend, and you can hear faintly the rushing of water, muffled. You're not that far away, you gather, from spatial awareness as to where the heavy pressure of the water that was forced upward, you can faintly feel the vibration. But as you curve away it gets dimmer and dimmer, as you spiral off farther away from the center of this volcano. And as it continues to spiral downward, this natural air pocket cavern, it splits again into a small opening where it's settled, faintly orange glowing, with spots of black molten rock that's slowly cooling. The path curves around the way, and it splits into two pockets of this cooling rock. And then maybe about a five-foot leap to continue downward.

MARISHA: Over lava?

MATT: Your favorite.

MARISHA: So bad at it.

MATT: I know.

LIAM: I'm going to double back to the group.

TALIESIN: I think we're already starting to make our way out.

LIAM: It goes a little farther, but I just didn't want to go too far on my own.

LAURA: What did you see?

LIAM: Just goes farther. But I don't want to get separated completely, so come up a bit, and I'll go a little bit farther.

SAM: Can we walk on it? Is it going to burn our little feetsies? Or do we need to fly?

LIAM: I don't think so.

LAURA: Up and over. Let's yeah. Let's go up there.

TRAVIS: We follow Vax.

LAURA: Can we cast Locate Object on the anvil? Don't you have something that sends a direct path to an object?

MARISHA: Find the Path? But I think I have to have seen the object before. It would also burn my last 6th-level spell.

LIAM: I could do it, but you have to be familiar with it. Being told about it doesn't count, does it?

MATT: You don't have enough information to do that, yeah. You guys all emerge from the water to gather up with Vax.

LIAM: I'd like to lead them to where that jump is.

MATT: Okay. As you all take a deep breath under the water and get to the surface, you make a test breath and the air in this pocket is still poisonous and not breathable, so you guys are going to have to take a deep breath under the water and hold your breath as you make your way down that tunnel.

LAURA: Oh fuck. Were there any other pockets of water along the way?

LIAM: Shit. Get back in the water. And I'm going to solo go where I wasn't intending to, to see how far it is to get to the next bit of water. You said it was a jump over magma?

MATT: Yep.

LAURA: Does your, does your creepy undead brain remember how long it takes before we die if we don't breathe? Do you remember that?

LIAM: I walk away from her, and I go down the hall.

MATT: All right. It's a decent jump to get over the lava. It's not a hard one, necessarily, but I want you to make an athletics check, anyway.

LIAM: Ooh, better use one of my lucks for that. That was a one. Ooh! Six.

MATT: Six.

LIAM: Six. Burn, baby, burn.

MATT: Total of six?

LIAM: Yeah, total of six. Already used luck; it's done.

MARISHA: Why does this always happen to us?

TRAVIS: I don't know, but I love it.

MATT: You run and make a leap, and you're pretty sure you made it, but one foot (sizzle) right into it.

TALIESIN and MARISHA: Is it the same foot?

MATT: It's the same foot.

TALIESIN and MARISHA: Yeah!

MATT: Thankfully, your armor is set to resist.

TALIESIN: Okay, that's right. That was early on. Wow.

LIAM: And yet Vax ain't sweating it. Not anymore.

TALIESIN: It's nothing you haven't had to regrow before.

LAURA: Does your Raven Queen regenerate lost footsies?

MATT: What would have been 56 damage is reduced to 28 fire damage to you. You pull out real fast. (sizzle, groan) It burns and burns and burns. Kick it off. You keep walking around the curvature, and it takes about two minutes or so of brisk travel to get around the corner where you can see another pool of warm water.

LAURA: Two minutes.

LIAM: So I see water and I shove my face down in it and breathe it. Who knows, with me? And I go back to where I burned my fucking foot, and I go into the earring-- I'm not going to fucking jump over that shit again-- tell them what I saw. Yeah, two minutes. So deep fucking breath. Yeah?

LAURA: Ugh, two minutes.

LIAM: And when you see me, run towards me and follow me.

LAURA: Yeah. All right. Grog?

TRAVIS: What?

LAURA: Are you good to run and jump over some lava?

TRAVIS: Nope.

MATT: So as you guys are aware, you can hold your breath for a number of minutes equal to one plus your constitution modifier.

LAURA: (laughs) Oh no.

TRAVIS: Awesome!

LAURA: Okay, but you were on foot. If I'm on the broom, then maybe it wouldn't take as long, potentially.

MATT: You were making a careful path. If you were to continue to dash, full dash run, it would be close. You can try it.

LAURA: Okay. I'm going to put Trinket in the necklace.

MATT: All right. Trinket in the necklace.

LAURA: Do you want to get on the broom with me?

TALIESIN: I've got the boots, so I was going to use my boots.

LAURA: All right, anybody? Scanlan?

SAM: Yes, please.

TRAVIS: It's just a thought, but I do have the big-ass jug that can make a big thing of portable water.

LAURA: (gasps) Sick!

MARISHA: Wait, we're waterboarding ourselves?

TRAVIS: Well, you can breathe in that shit, right? We won't be able to see.

TALIESIN: Can we fit our head in that jug?

MATT: Yeah, you can.

TALIESIN: You've just got to carry the jug, and as long as we stick our head in the jug every time we need to breathe-- you're a genius! You're a genius! I will say that seven more times. We'll space them out.

SAM: We might run out of water, though, because we're breathing it in.

TRAVIS: You're breathing it back out. You're recycling it. It'll get a little less oxygenated.

LIAM: How long does a fish live in a fish tank?

SAM: You're right. We're big fish.

LIAM: The biggest.

TRAVIS: Do you want to do that?

SAM: Let's try it.

TRAVIS: Salt water or fresh water? Or wine.

LAURA and TALIESIN: Fresh water.

TRAVIS: I take out the Alchemy Jug and I say, fresh water.

MATT: It fills with fresh water to the surface.

LAURA: Try breathing it.

TRAVIS: Are we underwater right now?

TALIESIN: We'll take it out of the water.

TRAVIS: Okay. I stick my head in it. Can I breathe?

MATT: Yeah, fine.

TRAVIS: It works. It works! I'm holding it above the water.

LAURA: Oh, smart.

LIAM: I hear you can do this with a non-magical jug, too.

SAM: Oh yeah. We could have just carried water in a jug.

TRAVIS: Don't downplay my special moment.

SAM: We have chalices.

LAURA: We do have an extra chalice. You know what? I'm going to take the fancy chalice and-- as needed.

TALIESIN: I'm going to use the breathing jug.

MATT: This is the funnest work-around. I love it.

SAM: It's a water bong?

MATT: Essentially. You guys are gravity-bonging your way through an underwater volcano. If that's not Vox Machina, I don't know what is.

TALIESIN: It's how I solve so many problems in my life. It's the solution to half our problems.

LIAM: We're going to try to water-bong every combat scenario for the rest of the campaign.

TRAVIS: I was looking at it, and I was like, fresh water, vinegar, oh!

MATT: All righty. So.

SAM: Don't do drugs, everyone.

MATT: As you guys make your way around the way, through the combination of that druid spell and strangely, Grog's ingenuity, you guys have bypassed a fairly serious situation. You make it down around the curvature of the tunnel, to where that small lava jump is. Anybody who wants to make that leap, go ahead and make an athletics check, please.

LAURA: I pop Scanlan on the broom and we fly on over.

TALIESIN: I activated my boots and walk.

MARISHA: And I use my mantle, which I constantly forget triples my jump distance.

MATT: It does, so go ahead make an athletics check.

TRAVIS: 21.

MARISHA: That's not great. Acrobatics?

MATT: Athletics.

MARISHA: Oh, that's better. That's better. 15.

MATT: 15? Yeah. You coast over. It's like a soft Neo jump. Not quite that far, but you coast and land onto the side. Oh, what did you get?

TRAVIS: 21.

MATT: 21. You guys all make it across that little stretch of molten rock without an issue. You continue around the way. Vex and Vax, as you guys are making heavy footfalls and making some distance, you begin to feel this (rumbling noise) rumbling in the ground beneath you.

LIAM: Oh shit.

LAURA: I think there's something burrowing. Or an earthquake.

MARISHA: Earth elementals.

LAURA: Potentially.

MARISHA: Volcanic earth elementals.

LIAM: Everybody hold still for a moment.

LAURA: I cast Pass Without a Trace on all of us.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Dope.

MATT: I would like all of you to make a stealth check right now.

TRAVIS: Oh, I think you barely got that in.

MATT: Barely.

SAM: It's plus ten?

MATT: Plus ten.

SAM: 31.

TALIESIN: 34.

MARISHA: 34.

LIAM: 40!

LAURA: Wow. 25.

TRAVIS: I'm sorry, guys.

TALIESIN: Oh no. Plus ten?

TRAVIS: 16.

SAM: Oh, okay, that's above something.

TRAVIS: I have a feeling.

SAM: What about Trinket?

LAURA: Trinket's in the necklace.

MATT: The rumbling stops as you all quietly stand still. You begin to get bold, to take a few more very faint steps on the ground. The rumbling continues and gets louder and louder.

LAURA: (whispers) I get my bow ready.

MATT: All right. I'm going to go to break.

TRAVIS: Oh! You fucking didn't!

MATT: I'm hungry. All right. Yeah. So we'll pick up from that rumbling here at the end of the break. We'll see you guys back here in a moment. We have quite the giveaway today. We have a spalted tamarind complete dice tower system. Three pieces from our friends at Wyrmwood. This is actually, this is Percival's wood type. It's nice, with a leather interior from our friends Wyrmwood. One lucky winner's going to get this. To enter this, find your way to the Twitch chat. And when requested during the break, go ahead and enter the word "volcano." That will put you in the entry. We'll come back with a winner in a minute. We're going to go ahead and have a quick break with some food, and we'll see you here in a minute, guys!

Break
[break]

Part II
MATT: And welcome back to Critical Role.

TRAVIS: That was a barrage.

MATT: Yeah, that was making up for the beginning of the game. We have a winner. In the chat, we have johnny2x40 as the winner. Congratulations, johnny2x40. Danoba will contact you shortly to get your information, and we'll get that shipped out to you ASAP, signed by the cast. Congratulations.

LIAM: The fuck was that?

MARISHA: I loved it so much.

TALIESIN: That's amazing.

MATT: All right. So as the rumbling continues to grow and swell, you all hold yourselves in place. (rumbling, crashing) You hear the crumbling and crashing of stone and rock, as from the side of the hallway, right next to where Grog is standing, maybe about a foot and a half in front of him, you watch some large, pointed object pierce through the wall, maybe about nine feet tall or so, go (explosion) out, sending dust and rock spilling out, and there's a faint orange glow from some smooth, armored head to some large creature with a toothy mouth that opens up and (chomping) as it bites down, you see rows and rows of teeth that are glowing orange, as bits of molten rock are spilling out the sides of the mouth.

MARISHA: It's like 2006's The Core!

MATT: Yeah. I hope it's better than that. You recognize the shape of the front, especially you, Percival, as you spent some time with a creature of a similar shape.

LAURA: Oh, is it a worm? A purple worm?

MATT: No, because it has two, big. muscular, trunk-like arms, as it (crash crash) out in front, but it has no eyes. It has the solid, armored front, and heated edges where the plates meet. It seems to be some sort of elemental-infused or variant of the bulette that you encountered before. And as it breaks through and stops, mere inches from Grog-- turn that thing off.

LIAM: It talks! It's a sentient bulette!

SAM: Happy Birthday.

MATT: (snarls) Across the way, you hear a low rumble again. (snarls) It stomps the ground. And you watch, from one of the other walls, (explosion) jutting from it, a smaller version. And second emerges. (explosion) Two children. They both emerge, going (snarls). As you're all standing there, holding perfectly still.

SAM: They can't see us. We'll stand still and we'll be fine, right?

MARISHA: Jurassic Park rules.

MATT: (sniffs)

LAURA: Oh no!

LIAM: We could attack them.

LAURA: There's three of them!

MATT: One of them turns around, and starts walking slowly towards the direction that Grog is. (heavy footsteps) The large mother. And turns, Grog, and you have to lean back as the nose sweeps past, and is facing right in your direction. You can see these large holes in the front of it's armored snout, go (sniffing). The mouth slightly cracks open and curls back into what you could almost imagine to be a grin.

TRAVIS: Can I quietly go into a rage?

(laughter)

TALIESIN: You are not my parents.

MATT: Well, as none of you have done anything at this point in time, I need you all to roll initiative.

LIAM: See, that's what it was! That's what it was!

TRAVIS: I heard you saying it, too.

LAURA: You should have just done it!

MARISHA: Do what?

LIAM: Don't worry about it.

LAURA: No!

TALIESIN: Goddamnit. No.

LIAM: Every time. Every time I do it!

MARISHA: Oh, your sneak attack?

LIAM: Yes. Fuckers.

MATT: So Grog was stopped here; he was the last to leap. Keyleth made it all the way over here.

LAURA: Trinket's in the necklace. We were on the broom.

MATT: Broom over here.

MARISHA: Might still be able to do it.

MATT: Vax. Where were you? You were stealthed.

LIAM: I was near the lead.

MATT: So you would be over here, stealthing behind this rock.

SAM: What a great board!

LAURA: This is really cool. Oh god, it's huge! Grog! Little baby bulette.

TRAVIS: That dude is huge.

LAURA: Do we remember what its weaknesses were?

MARISHA: I know it takes half damage, I think, to non-magical physical attacks. He's got heavily-armored skin. Other than that, I don't know.

SAM: Ooh! Did a new light just pop on? And another light? For a red lava effect in my eyes?

MATT: Into your eyes, Sam. That's why I do this. All right, so initiative order. 25 to 20?

LAURA: Oh, 20.

MATT: 20 to 15?

LIAM: 17.

TRAVIS: 19.

SAM: 18!

LAURA: Does it realize that anybody but Grog is there?

MATT: You don't know.

LAURA: We could have, potentially.

MATT: All right. And you're 17, you said?

LIAM: 17.

MATT: All right.

SAM: Here we go. This is going to be fun.

MATT: All right. 15 to ten?

MARISHA: 13.

TALIESIN: 12. My lowest possible initiative.

MARISHA: Did you roll a one?

TALIESIN: I rolled a one.

MATT: All righty. So top of the round, as all of them seem to have shifted in the direction of Grog, who is now quietly raging. Vex, you're up first. What do you want to do?

LAURA: Oh god. I'm going to try to hit it with a lightning arrow.

MATT: Which one?

LAURA: What do you mean?

TRAVIS: What animal?

LIAM: There's the mama and two babies.

LAURA: I'm going to try to hit the one that's breathing on Grog.

MATT: All righty. So go ahead and make your attacks.

TRAVIS: Yeah, provoke the thing with its teeth closest to me. I'm just fucking with you.

LAURA: But it knows you're there! Maybe it doesn't know I'm there! Plus I get a sneak attack on it, because you're right next to it.

MATT: It's true.

LAURA: And I'm going to Hunter's Mark it!

MATT: Look at that!

LAURA: (laughs) I say!

MATT: She says to you!

LAURA: 25!

MATT: 25 hits.

LAURA: Lovely. So if that was a 3rd-level Lightning Arrow, then that means I get 3d8 lightning damage in addition to my regular damage, or is it just 3d8 lightning damage? Wait. Roll the attack as normal, the target takes 4d8 lightning damage on a hit. Oh, and every creature within ten feet makes a dexterity saving throw. Okay. If I cast it at 4th-level, so no, it's just 3rd-level.

MATT: So it's 4d8 lightning damage. So you made the attack roll. It hit. So it takes that.

LAURA: Wow. Really? Nine plus--

MATT: Grog, make a dexterity saving throw, please.

TRAVIS: Thank you. I have advantage on those, but I won't need it because that was a 19.

LAURA: 15. It doesn't actually do my regular arrow attack damage? It's just-- wow. My spells are useless compared to my regular attacks.

TRAVIS: 21.

LAURA: 15 damage.

MATT: All right. So 15 damage. And then 2d8 to Grog. Roll 2d8. And you take half that because you made your save.

TRAVIS: 19. It's right on the paper. Negative two. Sorry.

LAURA: You still made your save.

MATT: Yeah. What's the damage?

LAURA: Five.

MATT: Five damage to you, Grog.

TRAVIS: Thank you.

MATT: Five total, or that's halved?

LAURA: That's five total.

MATT: All right, you take two points of lightning damage. Not too bad.

LAURA: I'm going to try to hit it again, then.

MATT: Lightning Arrow-- well, no. Interesting point of order, Lightning Arrow is a bonus action.

LAURA: Oh, and I did Hunter's Mark.

MATT: So no Hunter's Mark.

LAURA: Oh, so I did Hunter's Mark-- no. Oh. I am never going to do spell attacks ever again. They don't work for me.

MATT: So no Hunter's Mark, but you hit it with the Lightning Arrow. Next round you can worry about that.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: That's your first attack. You have your second attack.

LAURA: Okay, then I'm going to attack it with a regular-ass arrow that does more damage, probably-- natural 20-- than a fucking Lightning Arrow.

MATT: You did not do your sneak attack damage last round, so if you wanted to do sneak attack damage on this, you can.

LAURA: Okay. Lovely.

MATT: Which means you also double the sneak attack damage.

LAURA: Sweet. That's seven. 14 plus eight, is 22, 24, plus lightning damage. 24 plus five is 29 damage with a regular arrow.

MATT: And that's with the additional sneak attack?

LAURA: Yes. No, I get two sneak attacks! Plus another four. 29 plus four. 33.

MARISHA: Sneak attack that bitch!

MATT: 33 points of damage to it.

TRAVIS: Do I take that, too?

LAURA: No, that's regular.

MATT: As you release the lightning arrow, it slams into it. (growling) The look shoots in the direction where it came from, and as it opens up its snout to smell, you fire a second arrow into its mouth, and it starts writhing in place as it does. It shakes, and you feel the ground quake in the presence, and a few rocks from the ceiling and the children join the wail, and they all turn in your direction. You going to do anything else on your turn?

LAURA: Can I get on my broom?

MATT: Yeah, you get on your broom?

LAURA: I get on my broom.

MATT: That's all you do? All righty! Grog, you're up.

TRAVIS: Oh, I am?

MATT: At the beginning of your turn, the heat emanating from this bulette that's right next to you, is rather intense. You immediately suffer-- from proximity to its searing body-- 11 points of fire damage.

LAURA: How much?

MARISHA: 11 points.

MARISHA: That's bad, yeah.

LAURA: Are these monsters or beasts?

MATT: These are considered monstrosities.

TRAVIS: How tall is the area that we're standing in?

MATT: The top of the cavern would be about, maybe, ten feet. Ten to 12 feet.

TRAVIS: Ten to 12 feet? Yeah, I'm going to make both of my attacks at Mama Bear. Yeah, because I've got to move. Either I move and it senses the non-stealthy-- yeah, fuck it, I'm just going to take both of my Blood Axe attacks at it with the first one great weapon master. Not reckless. 21?

MATT: 21 hits.

TRAVIS: Just barely? Okay. That's awesome. 26... 36 points of damage?

MATT: 36 points of damage on the first hit? Not bad. The axe cracks into the side of its body, and you see the armor crack a little bit where it hits. You pull the axe free, you can see the blood pour out as it spills and hits the ground, (sizzle) you can see the actual blood in their body is super-heated as well.

TRAVIS: Ooh, that's a problem. Okay. They're like xenomorphs. I'll take the second strike, as well. Great weapon master, not reckless.

MATT: Okay, not reckless.

TRAVIS: That's shit. That's going to miss, I think. Yeah. 20?

MATT: 20 hits.

TRAVIS: Oh, really?

TALIESIN: We're learning, we're learning things.

TRAVIS: 15. Because I said great weapon master, it's minus five.

MATT: You did. That misses.

TALIESIN: Somewhere between 15 and 20.

MATT: This is this one time where you do swing and it hits, but the angle of the axe blade hits the edge of its head plate armor, and scrapes off the top with a shower of sparks off to the side. No damage.

TRAVIS: Can I use my bonus action to rage or not?

MATT: Well, yeah, you were beginning to quietly rage.

TRAVIS: Fair enough. Ends my turn.

LAURA: You want to move?

TRAVIS: No! I'm right next to it.

MATT: Scanlan, you're up.

SAM: Boy, man. I don't know what these things can do. I will step forward a little bit. Super tanky.

MATT: Ten feet? Five feet?

SAM: That's good enough for now. No, keep going.

LAURA: There's lava! Careful!

SAM: Thanks. I will inspire Grog by singing the customary birthday song of his people, which goes like this, (singing) Happy happy happy, happy happy happy-- they're a very simple people-- happy happy happy happy. (groans)

(laughter)

TRAVIS: You sang that better than my mother! Did I have a mom?

SAM: And then as practice, I'm going to become my beautiful angel self and transform into a naked planetar.

MARISHA: Oh shit. Going planetar.

SAM: I assume I lose everything. I lose my Heroes' Feast--

LAURA: Why would you?

SAM: Because I'm a different creature.

LAURA: So? It's in your blood.

SAM: I don't think so.

MARISHA: Is this True Polymorph?

SAM: Yes.

TALIESIN: Maybe you get it back when you turn back.

MARISHA: Generally, it'll say. Because Shapechange, you absorb your armor.

SAM: Do you happen to have a planetar figurine?

MATT: That's why I'm checking. I thought I had one prepared.

SAM: Oh my god. Guys. Magic: the Gathering-- Puzzle Quest. Did I mention you can find out more at bit.ly/MagicRole?

LAURA: You did, actually!

SAM: Capital M, capital R on that, by the way, guys. Visit it right now. Friends of the show. They need your support.

LAURA: That's right.

MARISHA: You know those first generation Black Lotus cards can go for $30,000, depending on their condition.

TALIESIN: Is it the alpha style with the black border?

MARISHA: Yep. Banned cards.

SAM: Matt is really looking for this thing. In the meantime, let me tell you some other amazing Magic: The Gathering cards. I've got Time Twister, Jace the Mind Sculptor--

TALIESIN: I actually performed the Jace the Mind Sculptor. It takes three friends to really pull it off.

SAM: Naked Singularity. Not a sexual position.

MATT: We'll say for the purposes of this, because it is the same size as a large creature, right?

SAM: It is.

MATT: We will use good old Doty as the current size of your planetar.

LIAM: I can touch my miniature! Whoa!

MATT: You need to be there, because otherwise you'd be stepping in the lava.

SAM: Okay, thanks.

MATT: So that's it?

SAM: I think that's all I can do.

MATT: You can continue to move, if you want.

SAM: Oh, that's interesting. As that guy, can I move more?

MATT: Well you've moved maybe 15 feet. I'd say you probably have, at his flying speed, maybe a third of his fly speed left.

SAM: That's another 40 feet.

MATT: (chuckles) So there is that.

SAM: All right. Well, then you guys got this well in hand. I'm going to fly to the other guy. Is he going to get an attack on me?

MATT: This guy here?

SAM: Yeah. As I fly up high?

MATT: You fly to him and you're gliding above right now.

SAM: No, I'm going to go to the furthest guy.

MATT: Over here? (gliding noises) Okay. You're currently floating above the lava. It's not affecting you as you (whoosh) fly by. Because you're flying, no, I will say that the mom bulette does not notice you pass. It does not get an attack of opportunity.

SAM: (whispering) I'm the Crow.

MATT: Essentially. All right, that ends your turn. Vax.

LIAM: Click the boots. Hunter's Mark on mama. So all that's left is dagger, dagger, dagger, so I'm going to do sharpshooter throws with the three daggers that are left.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Am I within 60 feet? I think I am. All right, so negative five on attacks. The first one is total shit. The second one is 17?

MATT: 17 does not hit. (dagger ricochets) Ricochets off.

LIAM: 23 on the last.

MATT: That does hit.

LIAM: Okay, because Grog is right there, it is sneak attack? (sighs) One, this is nine, plus that is 10, plus this. 13, 18, 24, 30, 33, 35, 36, 37. And because it was a sharpshooter attack, it's 47.

MATT: Oof. Nice. Great, so that one, seeing the glow of the slight crack in the armor that Grog had left, the dagger (dagger flying) disappears inside the slight gap, and you see this (blood spurting) of super hot, thick, viscous blood spill out and hit the side of the rock and then cool and darken as it does across the side of the cavern wall.

LIAM: And then for movement, watch this shit right here folks. (counting) 40, because I'm hasted, 45, 50, 55.

MATT: There you go.

SAM and LAURA: Wow.

LIAM: I did it my fucking self!

MATT: All right, that ends your turn?

LAURA: Did it feel weird to have somebody else moving the people?

MATT: No, it felt awesome. I didn't have to do a damn thing. All right.

LIAM: Oh, and Hunter's Mark!

MATT: Yes, the Hunter's Mark damage.

LIAM: Six!

MATT: That's an additional six damage. All right, infuriated, it's now starting to stop in the middle, and as it's hitting, the lava's starting to splash up around it. The babies! This one right here is only going to make a bite attack right now. It can't make a leap because you're too close to it. But as you rush towards it, it seems to sense your presence, and the movement of wings (wing flap) keeping you aloft. And the baby's going to (snapping) and lash out towards you. That is 18.

SAM: Does not hit.

MATT: Does not hit. As it snaps out towards you, its saliva seeming to spray superheated liquid (saliva spray) across. Does not attack you at all.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Well that got GIF'ed.

LIAM: Dr. Manhattan, everyone!

MATT: The other baby watches you go running past. It's going to go ahead and make a deadly leap. 15 (landing) on you. (whoosh) That brings it here.

LAURA: Oh shit!

SAM: He's dead.

MATT: If that was the case, half you guys would've been dead a long time ago. All right, I need you to make a strength or dexterity saving throw, your choice.

LIAM: I'll do dexterity at advantage because of the boots, so that is a 27.

MATT: 27, okay. So you're not knocked prone, but you do take-- let's see here. 19 points of damage, bludgeoning and slashing. You are pushed five feet out of its space.

LIAM: What was the total on that?

LAURA: 19.

MATT: All righty. That's the two babies' turn. Keyleth, you're up.

MARISHA: Okay. The battlefield changed a little bit, so instead, can I do a Chain Lightning out of the staff and hit all three of those motherfuckers? Starting with the big mama and branching off to the two other dudes?

MATT: I could say you could do that, yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah, I do that.

MATT: All righty.

MARISHA: That's 10d8. And it's a dex? I think it's a dexterity saving throw, and it's 10d8. One, two, three, four, five. Does anyone want to lend me their d8s?

LAURA: How many? I've got five here.

MARISHA: You have five there? Okay, okay, okay. A little Ashley Johnson "Okay, okay, okay."

LIAM and MARISHA: (imitating Ashley) Yeah!

MATT: Nope, nope, and nope. No one makes their save. This big, hulking thing.

MARISHA: Okay, I get to reroll ones because I'm a badass.

LIAM: You got a bunch, too.

MARISHA: Yes, I did.

MARISHA: No, that's a d10. Ooh, that's good. Okay, okay, five, four and four is eight, so that brings us to 13, another-- wait, four and four and eight--

LAURA: 17.

MARISHA: That was right, right?

LAURA: Yes, so you're at 17 now.

MARISHA: 17 plus another four is 21, plus another five is 26, plus another four is 30, plus another six is 36, plus another 16 total. So 36 plus 16 is 52.

MATT: 52 points of damage?

LAURA: You've got another one here.

MARISHA: Oh, 52 plus another seven, so 59.

MATT: 59 damage against all three of them. So as you stand in the middle and watch one of them leap past and pounce onto your lover as he's pushed out of the way, you see Grog now facing off with this giant gnashing mouth that is spilling forth like super-hot liquid, the lava glowing in the distance. You're having flashbacks to the last time you dealt with lava. You concentrate for a second and release the blast of energy as it arcs off, (explosions) slamming into each of them. You see them shake and quiver, their muscles tensing as they shriek in the middle of the cavern. (shrieks) They stagger backward. Hurt, but seemingly still holding on. All right, Percy, your turn.

TALIESIN: I'm going to activate Silence. So that's up. Charge Diplomacy. I'm going to give it a little rev with my bonus action, and I'm going to-- oh wow, can I actually reach? I can't quite reach, but I can get close. I'm going to head against that wall and start climbing up that wall.

LAURA: Right here?

TALIESIN: Yeah, up there. Just put me up there. Yeah, there we go.

MATT: Okay. Is that all you're going to do with your turn?

TALIESIN: That's my action, my bonus action, and my movement.

MATT: All right, that's your turn. All right, now it's the mama bulette's turn. Mama bulette has been facing Grog this whole time, after taking the dagger and watching you run past, seeming ready to leap, but with you still right in front of it, she'll attack you. That is a natural 18. This is important. So that's a total of 31 to hit.

TRAVIS: Let me check-- yeah.

MATT: So that's 45 points of piercing damage, halved. We'll say 22, plus 13 points of fire damage… and you are swallowed. On an attack roll of an 18 to 20, it swallows the target. And literally, I rolled a natural 18.

TALIESIN: What happens if you--

TRAVIS: It's always me! (laughing) It's always me.

MATT: Apparently, man.

TALIESIN: What happens if you Titanstone-- never mind. I'm going to find out.

TRAVIS: We've done this before. I'm well-versed.

MATT: You are blinded and restrained, currently.

TRAVIS: Blinded and restrained.

MATT: It now begins to (thudding) go right up into melee range with Keyleth, who blasted it with the Chain Lightning before. That brings us to the top of the round. Vex, you're up.

LAURA: Okay, I'm going to Hunter's Mark it! And then I'm going to attack it with an arrow.

MATT: Go for it.

LAURA: (old woman voice) Bramble shot!

MATT: How's that go again?

LAURA: (old woman voice) Bramble shot! (normal voice) 25! Oh! Can I do sharpshooter and do minus five to hit, plus ten to attack?

MATT: Generally, you have to decide that before you roll your attack. You can't just add it on like, oh, I rolled well! I'll say no, not for that first attack. You can for your second.

LAURA: This one is a bramble shot and it's a 25 to hit.

MATT: That does hit.

LAURA: Okay. Five plus eight is 13, 14, 15. 15 plus sneak attack and lightning damage. 15, 19, 23, 25, and then 4d8 piercing damage. 32.

MATT: All right. 32 points.

LAURA: And the he has to make a strength saving throw.

MATT: That is a 20.

LAURA: Then he succeeds.

MATT: As the arrow slams into the side, the brambles reach around, and you watch as these thorny vines wrap around the body begin to blacken and burst into flame. By the proximity, the brambles begin to burn to cinders and then break off the body as it storms forward.

LAURA: I attack him again. This time I'm going to try as a sharpshooter!

MATT: Do it!

LAURA: Okay!

MATT: You're up next, Grog.

LAURA: Natural 20!

MATT: Holy shit! That'll hit.

LAURA: And it's a bramble shot. Do I have to say that before, too? Motherfucker.

MATT: Well, bramble shot gets to see if it hits or not. It's not lost if you missed. If you hit, you can say bramble shot.

LAURA: So yeah!

MATT: Same with the divine smite.

LAURA: Okay, cool! All right! Right. I'm going to roll all my dice, and then double that, then add my extra things. How about that?

MATT: Do that. That's usually how you're supposed to do it.

LAURA: All right, Matt. Okay, so 11, 14, 20, 23, 25, 50. That's easy. 58, 60.

MATT: 60 points of damage in one shot! And secondary saving throw.

LAURA: Oh, plus ten because it was sharpshooter. 70!

MATT: 70 points of damage in a single arrow! You didn't add your sneak attack damage a second time, did you? Okay, good. That is nasty. It rolled a natural 16 plus six for its strength saving throw, so it's not affected by the brambles. However, it is looking *rough*. The second arrow hits the side and you watch as it streaks, pieces of the armor fall of to the side. You can see the striations of its muscle, and where the muscle tissues is, it's dark, but at the seams it's glowing orange.

LAURA: I didn't add the Hunter's Mark damage. Well, only extra two damage to that.

MATT: There you go, extra two damage. So now it's bleeding everywhere. Wherever it's walking, you can see it thrashing about. It's spilling off this heated liquid that's pouring out of its wounds. Does that end your turn?

LAURA: No, I'm going to move on my broom so he doesn't know I'm there.I'm going to fly to here.

MATT: Okay! That ends your turn. Grog, you're up. First things first, at the start of your turn, because you are swallowed by the mom, you suffer 42 points of fire damage. Oh, it has to make a constitution saving throw to see if it spits him up first, actually, because you did more than 40 points of damage. That is a 22. Yeah, it's fine. Wait, no, it's 25 DC. No, it does not! You do not take the damage because she did enough damage with that crit hit arrow that it vomits you up. You are prone.

LAURA: Happy birthday!

TRAVIS: Thank you!

MATT: That would have been a good 42 points of damage.

MARISHA: Grog gets vomited up in front of me?

MATT: Yep! (sizzling) There's steam.

TRAVIS: Every fucking time. Hi!

MARISHA: You smell like shit.

MATT: Grog, it's your turn.

TRAVIS: I'd like to stand up.

MATT: All right.

SAM: Jump into its throat.

TALIESIN: Jump back in.

TRAVIS: I would like to smash my Titanstone Knuckles together and cast Enlarge on myself. I get fire resistance because good god.

MARISHA: Big Grog!

LAURA: Whoa, what is that?

MARISHA: He's swole.

LAURA: I don't think we've seen this.

MATT: That's been it every time.

TRAVIS: Yeah, every time.

LAURA: But we haven't seen it! Can't see it up close. Oh, Grog is scary as fuck! I'm sorry; you're scary! Okay.

TRAVIS: Can I do reckless, great weapon master?

MATT: Yes, you may.

TALIESIN: That's something Travis would say.

LAURA: Put me down?

TALIESIN: It's something Travis would say.

TRAVIS: 26?

MATT: Yeah, that hits.

TRAVIS: Nice. 37 on the first.

MATT: How do you want to do this?

(cheering)

TRAVIS: (singing) Happy happy (war cry).

TALIESIN: Happy birthday.

MATT: After it finished vomiting you up and you get off the ground, still feeling the sizzling of its salivary liquid on your body, you sing this song to yourself as it rights itself. Its mouth opens once more. You bring the axe up right above its head. You crack the center of its armored plate. The top of its head caves and you watch as the eyes go dull and the body collapses and falls to the ground, unmoving. Its body is still there, though, because it's very big. It only loses about two feet of height as it collapses, and it's still blocking a large portion of that hallway right there. That's your first hit. You still have half of your movement, though, because you used half of it to get up.

TRAVIS: Should I try to push it out of the way?

LAURA: Just vault over it.

TRAVIS: Yep, I'm going to (leaping noise) over the side, parkour. One-handed.

SAM: Duke boys, sliding over the hood of the car?

MATT: With your boots, or just making an athletics check as part of your movement?

TRAVIS: Yeah, let's use the Boots of Feral Leaping.

MATT: Go ahead and make your athletics check.

TRAVIS: That's going to be a 26. 27. Towards you. Yep. And I'll move up.

MATT: You have 25 more feet.

TRAVIS: I do, don't I?

MATT: You can use your piece. Look at that!

TRAVIS: Can I get around here on the ground?

MATT: Yeah, you could. You can make an acrobatics check to see if you can avoid the lava as you do that.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I want to!

MATT: Okay, make an acrobatics, not athletics.

TRAVIS: Acrobatics. 16.

MATT: 16? You just barely make it around that corner, curling around. Yeah, you don't go foot-first in the lava, like somebody else did earlier.

MARISHA: I'm picturing Grog being like (intense grunting, careful inching, intense grunting).

MATT: That's about where you can get to.

TRAVIS: I'm right there, yeah.

MATT: That's the end of your turn, Grog. Scanlan, you're up.

SAM: As my holy self, imbued with the holy power of whatever I am. I float up a bit, draw my greatsword that I always use to attack because I'm awesome and bring it down real hard on the head of the thing.

MATT: Go ahead and roll for an attack.

LAURA: Are you naked with a sword hanging from your hip?

LIAM: He's hitting with his dick.

SAM: No, I'm naked with a sword. I've got a belt. I'm naked with a belt.

MARISHA: He's Mr. November.

SAM: That is 21.

MATT: 21 hits. The babies don't have quite as hard of armor. As you bring the greatsword down, you strike with a large swipe of bright, divine radiant energy. As it slams into the top of its head, it explodes with radiant power.

SAM: Do I roll, or do I use these stats?

MATT: You roll damage. The stats are for me. 4d6 plus seven slashing.

SAM: Seven, 12, 18 plus seven is 25. Plus, I need 5d8.

MARISHA: Oh yeah! Use mine! They just did very good.

MATT: Yeah, dude. Planetar form isn't messing around.

LAURA: He didn't even shake them, you just put them on down. That's the shadiest roll ever. If you did that in Vegas, they'd be like, "No."

TRAVIS: Pit boss over here disapproves.

SAM: Plus 14. So that's 39, right?

MATT: 39, yeah.

SAM: On my first attack.

MATT: So first off, I forgot earlier. Grog, you did take another seven points of fire damage from being in proximity of the corpse, which is still emanating heat, by the way.

TRAVIS: Halved, because I have resistance from the enlargement now.

MATT: Correct. Well, at the top of your turn, you got that, because you did not enlarge inside. And you also, as your planetar form, did take ten points of fire damage in your proximity to that one there, as well, so mark that. However, you, with that first strike, slam down and cleave the head in half. You watch as the baby's head (gravelly shriek). It had taken 49 damage before from her Chain Lightning. So with that second hit, (whack) it (gurgles) and falls to the ground, no longer moving. There is only one currently-living child on the battlefield.

SAM: All right. Well, then I'll say a silent prayer for the fallen and then fly backwards super fast to the other one (whoosh) and attack again!

LAURA: Maybe you can make it a pet.

SAM: Oh. 18.

MATT: 18 still hits.

SAM: Hey! All right. Look at all these crazy things. 12 plus-- that's not very good. 12 plus all those.

MATT: That was 12 plus seven?

SAM: That's right. 19.

MATT: So 19 damage.

SAM: (counting) 19. Whatever I just said. Is that 19 plus 19?

MATT: 19 plus 19.

SAM: 34?

MATT: 38 damage. That kills it, yeah. So you hack one down, dart across the way with your blade screaming in the air. It actually cuts through the rock as it sparks across the ceiling. With what little space you have, your wings open, slam down on the second child and watch as its armored body cracks open. The radiant blast expands and bursts when the blade is actually dug a few inched into its form, causing you to destroy it from the inside of its armored shell. You watch as its body inflates for a second, then falls limp as smoke begins to pour from its wounds. So with that, you guys have wiped out the current danger on the battlefield.

SAM: I feel like there's more coming.

LAURA: No, that was it.

TRAVIS: We're just traumatized.

LAURA: The core anvil is just going to float up from the magma.

MARISHA: It's so hot.

TALIESIN: That's a complicated tray.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: As he herniates a disc.

MATT: Yeah. I pulled my leg earlier this week, so moving up and down sucks. So as you sit there in the silence there for a moment, just hearing the occasional (plopping) with the nearby lava that fills the nearby hallway, you don't feel any further rumbling. There's just the heat emanating from the corpses of these three magma bullettes. What do you do?

TRAVIS: Can I look around for anything that resembles an anvil or a shelf or something that one might wackadoodle on?

MATT: Make an investigation check.

TRAVIS: Nice. Watch me knock this out of the park.

MATT: I'll say more of a perception check for this. This is less of searching for details.

TRAVIS: That's better. Still shitty. 11.

MATT: The pathway still continues to descend and curve around, but that's it.

TRAVIS: The pathway still continues to descend around.

LAURA: Wow. Very observant of you, Grog.

MARISHA: Descended around.

TRAVIS: What?

MARISHA: Copy that.

LAURA: Can we see now because of all the glow coming from-- does magma glow?

MATT: Most of you, aside from Percival, can see decently in low light, anyway, or have darkvision.

TALIESIN: It's only been about 25 seconds, but we do eventually have to breathe.

LAURA: Oh. I'll use my chalice.

MARISHA: Oh yeah. Pass the jug.

SAM: What about me?

MATT: You, as a planetar, let's see here.

SAM: I think I'm dying.

LAURA: What? Why?

SAM: I don't know. I think I probably need air.

MATT: Well, you have a pretty high con bonus. You could hold your breath for seven minutes.

SAM: I'll do that. See how I fare.

LAURA: Do you still have Heroes' Feast?

SAM: No.

MARISHA: No, you do.

SAM: I don't think I do. I'm a new body.

MARISHA: No. True Polymorph, you absorb your gear and you don't benefit from it, but it doesn't say anything about you not benefiting from--

MATT: Previous spells and bonuses. That's an interesting point.

TALIESIN: The soul is imbued with Heroes' Feast, not the body.

MARISHA: Correct.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Interesting.

TALIESIN: See, it's all there.

(laughter)

LIAM: But we're along the path to the water that I saw.

MARISHA: The gear melds into the form. The creature cannot activate, use, wield, or otherwise benefit from any of its equipment, but it doesn't say anything else other than equipment.

SAM: Thank you, Lindsay Lohan.

MARISHA: You're very welcome.

MATT: I'll allow it.

SAM: I still can't breathe.

MATT: You still have the same effect earlier that she put on you, so you still have the water breathing.

SAM: Oh! So I can breathe some water. All right, cool.

MATT: You're flying in here with the small space you have. Being a large creature, the fact that you even flew across-- you were only a few inches off the ground as you darted over. It's only about ten to 12 feet, and you're maybe nine feet tall.

LAURA: You're 12 feet tall, so you're hitting the ceiling?

TALIESIN: I'm going to start peering around the corner with the flashlight.

LIAM: We're under two minutes away from the water I previously made it up to but didn't go into, correct?

MATT: Correct. You're maybe 40 seconds away from it.

TALIESIN: I'm going to head that way.

MATT: You guys start around the corner and follow the next pool. You have your means of passing water around. It's still viable. The path continues to curve in a haphazard spiral. It curves around and you watch as it passes, evens out, and then goes into a fairly steep decline, about 45 degree decline.

LAURA: Can I try flying down there with the broom?

LIAM: We're 30 seconds away. I've already gone this way and come back to you guys. Unless something has jumped in the hole while I was gone in that time, I've already covered this ground.

MATT: This is further than you've come. There's the pool of water you saw, and if you continue around that way, you can see it curve as you glance around and it descends in a steady decline.

TALIESIN: The pool of water is just a pool of water.

MATT: It's a small, little pit.

LAURA: I'm going to recast Pass Without a Trace on all of us, P.S.

TALIESIN: I can follow you down because I've got the boots on.

MARISHA: Do the two twins want to scout?

MATT: The pool of water, by the way, as you glance down and look past the surface, it does have a cylindrical tube that is feeding the liquid into it, but it's much smaller. It gets to that big of a pinching point before it vanishes out of sight.

LIAM: Of your hands?

MATT: Of the pool. Continuing the path of the tunnel, as it curves around and goes into the decline, it continues and maintains its width of about 15 to 20 feet on either side. You glance down the decline, and there's a portion of the ground that opens up and glowing molten rock slowly drips and dribbles down for about 40 or 50 feet.

SAM: I'm going to cast Detect Evil and then wordlessly speak to you all.

LAURA: Oh, in our brains? I like it.

SAM: I say: Brothers and sisters. Allow me to guide us by the spirits of my religious faith down into the depths of this hell place.

LIAM: While he's talking, I turn to my sister and go--

LAURA: Are you still you, Scanlan, just in another body?

SAM: Yes, my child. Inside.

TRAVIS: Boners and wangs.

LAURA: It's weird that you're nine feet tall, but your penis is still a cube.

SAM: That's by choice.

(laughter)

SAM: So you can recognize me if I die in a fight and you have to go to a lab and identify the body, you'll be like (fake crying) Oh, it's him!

LIAM: And they shall know him by his cube.

LAURA: Sorry. Yes. Lead the way.

MATT: You glide down your own way. The air is extremely warm as it passes by you. Holding your breath at this point, because you are not near any source of water, it looks like, and you're not carrying one with you. You glide down, rapid speed past the lava, which eventually comes and cools in a clump, a small mound where it seems a recent hole punched out of and began to dribble and down. It's been cooling and causing this extra layer on the tunnel. Everything seems to be in this weird state of flux. You continue past it, and it drops into a tunnel below, maybe about 20 or 30 feet wide. Descends downward.

SAM: Straight down?

MATT: Straight down.

SAM: I'll go down a bit.

MATT: You descend about 30 feet. This cylinder-like tunnel comes to a halt; it stops.

SAM: Am I detecting any evil?

MATT: You are not detecting any evil, no. Do you have darkvision in this form?

SAM: I don't know! Where does it say?

MATT: It says truesight. You don't have darkvision; you have *everything* vision.

TALIESIN: Predator vision.

SAM: I can also speak every language!

MATT: Given that case, as soon as you land, you look up and you can see across the rock here, there is one portion of the wall that is smoother than the rest in a concave perfect square across the opposite side. You can see faint runes or glyphs that are pressed into the stone, like part of it has been untouched for quite some time.

SAM: Is there writing or is it just symbols?

MATT: Because you can read any language, right?

SAM: It says languages: all.

MATT: Yeah. Okay.

TALIESIN: That's the most irritated I've ever seen Matt.

LIAM: This is because of the planetar, not Ioun? Planetar. This is how you must stay always.

SAM: I agree.

MATT: Glancing at the glyphs here, there are roots of magical, arcane glyphs here, but whatever enchantment there was here is very faint. It's more about the message or image that is set here. It is an exit seal. It is a final word of those that utilized this space within. It translates to, "Here the Crafter's Halls lay dark, the means of making the World Ender gone. Allhammer protect us all."

SAM: Allhammer. Wow. I don't know.

MATT: The Allhammer. Make a religion check.

LAURA: The Allhammer was--

TRAVIS: You're not there.

SAM: Looking. Religion. I don't know. 11 plus I don't know.

MATT: You recall that information. You have this information in your mind, I'll say. As long as you didn't roll a one.

LIAM: You don't remember, but you remember it.

MATT: The Allhammer is one of the prime gods of family, craft, and construction of fine, important things. It is the patron saint of all craftsmen, blacksmiths, forgemasters, artisans, and from the information you received from Ioun, the creator of and last user of the Core Anvil.

MARISHA: So is it the Allhammer lies beyond? It's dark?

MATT: It was an exit phrase placed on the door by the last person who was in this.

MARISHA: Here the Crafter's Hall remains dark, the Allhammer--

LAURA: Watch over us.

MARISHA: Watch over us. Something about watching over us. Yeah, validate free parking.

TALIESIN: Objects in hammer are closer than they appear.

SAM: I'll fly back and report to the rest in my pristine body. My pristine, hairless body. And that is what I saw.

LAURA: That was all in our heads?

SAM: Yes.

TRAVIS: I think that's what we're looking for, right?

LAURA: Yeah, let's go.

LIAM: It was a flight down, yeah?

SAM: Hold on one second. (blowing water bubbles)

(laughter)

SAM: I'm back to being pristine.

MATT: Just so everyone here understands, imagine between most conversations, there's somebody doing that into a small jar of water.

SAM: (blowing water bubbles) And it's all cloudy now from everybody.

LAURA: How often can you re-up that jar? Oh god, it's nasty water.

LIAM: You're motorboating a gravy bowl.

SAM: It's like a horse trough. There's hair.

MATT: It is getting a little thick.

(laughter)

MATT: Oh god.

LAURA: Should we head down there? Did it seem like we could pass through that door?

SAM: Oh, I didn't try the door.

LAURA: You didn't try to get through it?

SAM: Sorry!

LAURA: It's all right. We can find a way. It's just a door.

SAM: It's just a door; we'll be fine.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we're great entering doors. Great history with doors. Let's go.

MATT: Who's doing what to get down there?

TALIESIN: I'm walking down there.

MATT: You (footsteps) on the side.

LAURA: I'm flying down with the broom. Does anybody else need to ride? Do you need to bamf your wings out, or do you want to get on the broom?

LIAM: I'm going to save those. I'll get on the broom. You're offering me a ride on the broom!

TRAVIS: I've got the carpet.

MARISHA: I'll take the carpet or whatever.

MATT: Grog and Keyleth on the carpet. You two on the broom. You climb. We're good. The rest of you guys descend down at a 45-degree grade and make it past where the lava stopped and cooled and collected and thickened up. Eventually, you find the area where it drops off into darkness below in this cylindrical tunnel. You make it down the 30 or so feet to where it stops. It takes you a moment, based on where Scanlan points you towards, you can make out the runes he was mentioning. Percy, you're the only one who can read them.

TALIESIN: More of that. All right.

MARISHA: What? What does it say?

TALIESIN: It's a "shop's closed," I suppose.

LAURA: Could we reopen it?

MATT: No indicator of that. It was essentially, (door click) "Key is locked up forever. Bye! Bless this seal."

LAURA: Bust through this shit or undo it? Do we have a way to cancel the seal out?

MARISHA: So it's quite literally a family business. We're closed, retired. Bars in front of it.

MATT: You get that sense. The forge was made by and for the use of the Allhammer, and the Allhammer is locked somewhere on his own plane across the other side of the Divine Gate and has been for 800 years.

LIAM: We've got a god-made doorway in front of us. Something-made door, right. Natural rock around it or is everything carved?

MATT: Natural volcanic rock. It's that same crumbly, porous black stone.

TALIESIN: I'm going to touch the doors.

MATT: It feels like the rest of the surrounding stone.

TALIESIN: There's not obvious mechanism for opening it?

MATT: Make an investigation check.

LAURA: Can I pray to Pelor?

TALIESIN: That was awful. No. Six.

MATT: No current sign of anything.

TALIESIN: Anytime I look for anything worthwhile, I stare at rock going, huh! Found a rock.

LAURA: I'm going to pray to Pelor. I don't know if it makes a difference.

MATT: What are you going to say?

LAURA: I'm going to say: Well. We are here at a doorway. I don't know if you speak to the Allhammer, if you know anything about this, but if you have anyway to help us get through this, now would be the time. Trying to do good work here for you and all of mankind.

TRAVIS: What about your bean?

LAURA: Oh yeah. Well, I'm going to take the bean out and say all that shit again with the bean in between my hands. I'm going to whisper it to the bean because it's part of him.

MARISHA: Can you hear the ocean?

MATT: Ocean bean. Putting the words and thoughts out there. Prayer is still a foreign thing to you that you're still learning to do.

LAURA: That's why it was so good.

MATT: There's no words that respond, but you do get a warm sense pushing you forward. You get the idea from whatever guidance Pelor is sending your direction that you can translate from your only recently somewhat-faithful heart that you're on the right path. That's as much as you can muster from the conversation.

LAURA: Thanks.

TRAVIS: I don't want to jump the gun, but I did punch a volcano today. This door probably not too big a tuna for me to filet, you know what I mean. Unless the runes say, "If you punch, melt you will."

SAM: It didn't say anything like that.

TRAVIS: It didn't?

MARISHA: It seems like it's just closed.

LAURA: Are they glowing runes? Are they magical runes? Do they seem like they're magic?

MATT: This is an interesting point. I should have recalled. Grog, are you still in your large form?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: How did you use the magic carpet to get across? That carpet will not carry you in your large form.

TRAVIS: Oh, good point.

LAURA: Get little. Or he could have--

TALIESIN: Just slid down.

LAURA: Oh yeah, could he have stretched to either side and he does a Ninja Warrior shit down the tube?

TRAVIS: Well, we don't know how wide. How wide?

LAURA: Well, that's what I mean.

MATT: The passageway heading downward would probably be somewhere in the neighbourhood of between 15 to 20 feet.

LAURA: What about a Wonder Woman situation where you (impacts). Because you got the siege gauntlets on? And you make handholds?

LIAM: How long a drop was it?

MATT: Well, the drop wasn't the issue. It was the 40 feet of lava that was curling down.

TRAVIS: You could fly down and put me in the necklace, if you want.

LAURA: Yeah, sure, that's what I did. Popped Trinket out, flew back up, grabbed Grog, came back down.

MATT: From a logistical standpoint, I recalled that.

TRAVIS: Good call.

MATT: Okay, so what are you guys going to do?

TALIESIN: Are the runes glowing? Are the runes not glowing?

MATT: No, the runes aren't glowing. You get the sense, Scanlan, that it was less that they were glowing, more that your truesight revealed the presence--

SAM: To me, everything is glowing a little bit.

MATT: You are a little Neo in the Matrix in this new physical form.

TALIESIN: Tommy Wiseau is what I'm getting from this. I'm going to take the Sun Stone out of its little container, and really light up the room, and just illuminate the whole room now.

LAURA: Is there a door knob or anything that looks like a seal?

MATT: Make an investigation check.

TALIESIN: Thank you, somebody.

LAURA: 18.

LIAM: 22.

MATT: 22. Glancing about, with the help of his light, as well, you look and you can see most of the rock is jagged and broken in places, and as you feel the edges, some parts flake off relatively easy, and when you get to the section of where that rectangular piece of the wall is that the glyphs are put across, it looks like it's a little smoothed over, like someone smoothed it down to make this intentional seal, but there's no sign of any sort of keyhole or handle or anything.

LAURA: Maybe you could push it?

TRAVIS: Let's try being polite, first. I will knock on the door.

MATT: It's heavy stone.

TRAVIS: All right, fuck this. I try and push the door either in and to either side.

MATT: Make a strength check.

LIAM, LAURA, and MARISHA: Go Strongjaw, go!

TRAVIS: 17.

SAM: You're inspired.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah, I'll use that shit.

MATT: It's a d12.

TRAVIS: Oh, it is? Oh shit. Awesome. 26.

MATT: 26! You jam your hands into the wall and push. As you push and shove, your fingers are grinding and breaking the actual stone until they feel something metal. It goes from crumbling stone to a metallic surface, and as you pull your hands back a little bit, you pull away these giant chunks of volcanic stone, the actual runes and glyphs breaking around your grasp, and you can look inside and see hammered, dark metal on the other side. You then put your hand in and shove as hard as you can, and with a very faint grinding, you feel it give about an inch, then another inch. And then eventually, it gives out suddenly, and you watch as suddenly the entire square structure falls inward with a slamming echo sound that echoes again and again, down a stairway that disappears from view about 20 feet ahead of you.

LAURA: Check for traps!

TRAVIS: You got it. Natural 20.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: That's not my thing.

MATT: Natural 20 doesn't mean you succeed, necessarily.

LIAM: 18 for me.

MATT: All right. Both of you glance throughout the initial steps into the hallway, which is now littered with broken rock for the first 10 feet or so, with a platform where the large rectangular metal structure fell over. No signs of any traps, no signs of any tweaking with the floor or walls for any triggers. You do notice that the metal surfaces here are a texture of rough, hammered metal. You can see the series of small indentations, like all these have been hammered into place, and it looks like the seams where these large metallic wall slabs would be have a thin little placed bar over those, as well. You've gone from central volcano, natural, emerging and expanding rock and lava to a place of very intense, intended construct.

TRAVIS: I feel like this is it.

LAURA: Would my greedy eyes know what kind of metal it is?

MATT: Make an intelligence check.

SAM: It's all pewter. Pewter everywhere.

LAURA: Intelligence. Investigation?

MATT: Well, this would be just an intelligence check. Just a straight modifier.

LAURA: (laughs) Oh! 10.

MATT: 10? (sighs) You're not entirely certain of the metal. It is a dark, dull, slate gray. A little darker than that, even, and elements of the edges appear to be almost red. Almost like a rust or ruddy color, but you don't recognize what type of metal it is, necessarily.

LIAM: I'm stealthing. I'm stealthing down the steps.

LAURA: I did cast Pass Without a Trace on all of us again a while ago. I said it. I even marked it off after the fight.

MATT: Okay. You rolled a natural 20?

LIAM: Yep. Using a luck. But yeah.

MATT: Using luck. You've used three lucks today.

LIAM: Three of my four, according to your campaign guide?

MATT: The campaign guide was something that was for other people to use...

(laughter)

MATT: As sort of an inside joke for the previous more than three lucks.

LIAM: Well, that was my third, not my fourth.

MATT: Right, I'm saying for the purposes of the guide being released and you embracing your fate-touched nature and the extremely dutiful adherence to the law of your Raven Queen... sure, I'll give you a fate-touched additional fourth luck.

MARISHA: He's throwing you a bone.

SAM: You know why? Because he knows Liam bought the book.

LIAM: I did buy the book. I bought the book in the first hour.

SAM: I bought the book, too. What do I get?

MATT: You get an awesome angel dick.

(laughter)

LAURA: Your one-inch cube suddenly grows.

LIAM: To two inches!

MATT: Angel wang, by the way, is a good band name.

TRAVIS: (singing) Angel wang.

MATT: All right.

SAM: I'm going to fly over to Vex and wordlessly say to he, be honest. Do you think I'm more handsome like this or as normal Scanlan?

LAURA: I'm going to think in my head, Scanlan's the best.

SAM: Be aware that as a divine being, I can sense any lie.

(laughter)

LAURA: Scanlan, darling. You're fucking hot right now, all right? But I love you like you were. You're always my favorite when you're just yourself.

SAM: All right. Thank you. I turn my little naked butt to her and fly away.

(laughter)

MATT: All right. So, this hallway that you guys have pushed through now, it's about 20 feet wide, 30 feet tall, and these long ceiling gradually curves to an apex point, like two adjoining sides of a roof. And it continues to progress forward, and then descends with the staircase.

TRAVIS: Are the walls hot to the touch, since they're metal?

MATT: You put your hand out and feel it, and yes, they are. Not like (sizzle), but your hand can rest for a few seconds before you have to remove it. They're very hot.

TRAVIS: We progress forward into the room down the stairs. Wherever the stairs lead.

MATT: All right, so. You leading?

LIAM: Yeah, I'm 60 feet ahead with my 47 stealth right now.

MATT: Right. Okay. So as you begin, first thing you notice, the steps? They're long steps. They are about three feet wide each step.

LIAM: God-sized.

MATT: So you're having to like, step, step, step, leap down a few feet, continue again, leap down a few feet, and each of you are doing this. Who here does not have magic boots?

MARISHA: Me.

LAURA: I mean, just part of my armor. If that's not boots, then it's probably just the front guards, huh.

SAM: I don't.

MATT: You're flying. You're fine.

LAURA: But I've got my broom. That I just said I was on.

MATT: Correct. So you're fine. You, as you're walking, the ground is very hot, and you can continue to move your feet in a way where it's not too bad, but you get the sense if you were wearing normal boots and not the usual Ashari-made, leather setup that you work on, they would probably be melting across the metal floor here.

LAURA: You want to hop up on this broom?

MARISHA: Oh, I'm just-- big strides. Big strides!

LAURA: All right. It looks awkward, but stay there, if you'd rather.

MARISHA: I try to look more normal while still taking big strides.

TRAVIS: It's not working.

MARISHA: No?

MATT: All right, so. The air itself now smells of very caustic fumes mixed with the smell of burning coal, but there is oxygen now in this chamber. You can breathe. There's enough air to actually get a lungful here and there, though it is still thin, and there is still the toxic fume here that had you not had the Heroes' Feast, you'd be having a rough time. But you're not having to constantly dip into the jug anymore.

TRAVIS: Did one of y'all growl just now? That was you?

TALIESIN: That was me.

TRAVIS: Or did it come out of the speaker?

SAM: You don't know.

TRAVIS: That shit scared me.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: That shit was too loud from a weird direction. I got all haunted house for a second. I was like, (gasps).

MATT: I cannot wait to get to Halloween Horror Nights with you again.

LIAM: Travis Willingham's fatal flaw.

TRAVIS: I'm quick as hell. (laughs)

MATT: You are quick. That's why we leave you ten feet ahead of us.

TALIESIN: You are the best jump scare.

MARISHA: One of these days you're going to break someone's nose.

TRAVIS: I know. (blows raspberry) Ah! I'm so sorry!

(laughter)

MATT: It's going to be glorious. Anyway, as you descend the staircase, you ahead, make a perception check.

LIAM: All right. I'm going to use your Pelor die. Hey, that's good. Perception, you say? 27!

MATT: 27, okay. You continue down for about two minutes or so, and even glancing ahead to the edge of your visual range here in the darkness, because there is no light source below at this point… the stairs are continuing and continuing and continuing, and you have no idea how long it'll go for, but you begin to sense as you're walking, and you hear this faint rhythmic, bassy rumble of a low, nearly inaudible, drum-like beat, deeper than any sound you've heard, quaking the ground ever so faintly. (slow, rumbling pulses) And you can very faintly feel it. You get down and move your fingers to the ground, and for the moments before the heat gets there, the next time you hear it, you can feel a very faint vibration, only because you are very perceptive at the moment.

LIAM: Is it exactly rhythmic? Precisely?

MATT: I'd say, with your high perception check, you can tell that yes, it is precisely rhythmic.

LIAM: I think there's some sort of god-sized machinery ahead of us. I think we're getting close.

LAURA: Did you lose your earring because you're an angel now?

TRAVIS: No, he keeps all his stuff.

SAM: I don't have the earring, but I can talk to you telepathically in any language. How about Italian, darling?

(laughter)

LAURA: Stop being creepy, Scanlan.

SAM: I sense my hour is coming to an end soon.

MATT: You guys are about 20 minutes out, both you and Grog, before you lose your forms.

LIAM: Do you know binary? One, zero, zero, one, zero, one, one, zero, one, zero, one...

MARISHA: Speak in Morse code.

MATT: Another ten, 15 minutes of descending these stairs that seem to go on and on and on, and you guys are starting to hear this (low rumbling), but it is getting steadily louder the further down you climb, Vax. You begin to see along the metallic walls, occasionally, shapes in the metal. And you glance over, Vax, and look, and you can see, carved from the metal, humanoid, armored warriors standing about ten or so feet tall, larger than normal. Their poses vary. Some of them are on the side, some of them are attacking, some of them are defending, and about every 25 or 30 feet or so, there will be one on one side or the other.

LIAM: Are they standing free, or are they carved from the wall?

MATT: No, they're from the wall.

LAURA: They're drawings?

MATT: They're reliefs. They're metallic reliefs in the wall.

TRAVIS: That some metal Medusa that turned them into metal?

MATT: Made of the same metal, it looks like, as the walls around them.

TALIESIN: I'm going to quickly inspect one.

MATT: Make an investigation check.

TALIESIN: I'm rolling terribly. Nine.

MATT: Nine.

LAURA: I want to look at them, too. I want to fly up on my broom. I was going to say it and then he said it.

TRAVIS: Please don't be golems that will come out and will fight us.

LAURA: Investigation? 22.

MATT: 22? Glancing around the seams, these appear to be just reliefs in the wall. There is no deeper seam. Their proportions are flattened. They are designs in the wall.

TALIESIN: Does the style indicate anything?

MATT: The craftsmanship is extraordinary, the detail. Because you rolled so high, you can tell that these are just reliefs in the wall, but up until that point, it looks like the detail in the nooks and crannies are so microscopic, you can see texture on the skin, almost. Like pores carved in. It's immaculate. It's artistic, the level of detail put into these.

MARISHA: Grog. Do you trust this?

TRAVIS: To what are you pointing?

MARISHA: The reliefs, the people in the wall? Okay. It was a hypothetical question.

TRAVIS: Right. Do I trust the art?

MARISHA: Just to be safe, I cast Freedom of Movement on Grog. Just in case.

TRAVIS: Ooh. I start popping and locking.

MARISHA: So loose. So free. So much movement.

MATT: So that lasts for an hour, great.

LAURA: I'm going to be stealthy. I don't want to be noisy.

MATT: Okay. Roll stealth, please.

LAURA: 32.

MATT: Okay. So what is the marching order here, please?

TRAVIS: I don't actually mind taking the lead on this one.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Do we have five minutes left, or less?

MATT: You're pushing about ten minutes or so at this point.

TRAVIS: I think five to ten minutes, actually.

LAURA: Yeah, you had said 15.

TALIESIN: I love walking on the wall.

SAM: We could stay like this forever.

TALIESIN: So I'll be in the middle of the group, walking on the wall.

SAM: So beautiful.

TRAVIS: You look over and Scanlan's going (kisses).

SAM: So symmetrical.

LIAM: I'm actually going to hang back.

MATT: Okay, so Vax behind. It's Percy and Grog up front.

LAURA: I'm going to go up behind Percy.

MARISHA: Yeah, I'll be with Vex.

SAM: I will fly up next to Grog and put my Healing Touch hand on his shoulder and heal him a lot. (hums) 31.

MATT: You heal 31 hit points, Grog.

SAM: Oh, plus three. 34.

MATT: There you go.

SAM: And you're also freed from any curse, disease, or blindness that you have, FYI.

LIAM: I'm also going to dump 20 hit points of Lay on Hands on my own damn self.

MATT: All righty.

MARISHA: Wait, is that ding to your saving throws considered a curse?

MATT: It is a curse that can only be broken by a god.

LAURA: If he fucking brings it up to a god. He doesn't even realize he has it.

TRAVIS: I tried to talk to Pelor, but people were like, "No, don't talk to Pelor."

LAURA: What are you fucking talking about?

TRAVIS: What are you talking about?

MATT: Grog, continuing the charge forward, taking the steps, eventually you begin to see a source of some light. A faint, orange-red light. Your initial instinct, based on your previous travels through here, is molten rock. It's a very similar orange-red color from this distance. As you descend, step upon heavy step upon heavy step, you watch as you can see a square orange opening below. As in, the pointed hallway that leads you down comes to an end, and the stairs descend into a chamber.

TRAVIS: I go in.

LAURA: Would Trinket's little feet hurt if he was on the ground?

MATT: Do you want to put Trinket out of your necklace?

LAURA: Well, I figure I would have tried to put him out when we got in the tunnel, but if his feet were hurting, I want to put him back in the necklace.

MATT: I would say Trinket's not comfortable, yeah.

LAURA: Okay, I'll keep him in, then.

MATT: Okay. So. As you descend, Grog, the staircase continues below as the hallway comes to an end, and you find yourself descending into the center of a massive hexagonal chamber. The walls climb about 25 feet on each of the hexagonal sides. There's one flat wall ahead of you, and you assume probably one behind, though you cannot see it from your current perspective on the staircase. You can see that the walls are still made from the long plates of intricate, hammered metal, black and red-tinted with dust and rock and whatever other materials were forged into the actual metal. The support girders of dark red metal marks the seam at every wall-plate, like when you entered the hallway above.

Center to the chamber ahead of you, across the wall that you see there, there is a glowing pit of heated coals, about 15 feet on any side that marks the floor before a giant, metal wall with two X-shaped cross beams that hit the corners of where that wall begins on each side. And in the center where they meet, you see a raised relief of solid gold bolted there that surrounds an opening of some kind. There's a space in that golden relief.

TRAVIS: What's the floor look like from here to there? The same surface?

MATT: Same metallic surface.

TRAVIS: Any seams, or just smooth?

MATT: Well, no, for the floor in here, it would be fairly smooth.

LAURA: How high off the ground is that relief?

MATT: It's 25 feet to the ceiling, and it's halfway down, so it's about 12 and a half feet in the center, so from the ground, you'd have to get up to see it.

TRAVIS: I move closer towards that.

MATT: Okay. You walk up, and you come to the very bottom of the last step. (grunts) Leap onto the ground, walk forward to the edge of where the coals are, there at the base of your feet. You glance up and you can see it. Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: Hold on. 17.

MATT: All right, you glance up and you can see the relief of solid gold. The opening in it is triangle-shaped, roughly one foot across from point to point, like that. It comes into a triangular point. And it's about that size; it's about a foot, and then a foot, and then a foot.

LAURA: I think you're supposed to stick your hand in it, Grog.

TRAVIS: It's just the triangle shape, right? There's nothing else around it?

MATT: It's a weird rough circle, and then the triangle is carved into the center of it. The two walls immediately to the right and the left of that, where the hexagonal pulls back to each side, you see two more of those metal warrior reliefs that you saw earlier in the hallway.

TRAVIS: And the coals are in a circle?

MATT: The coals are in like a square section, a 15 by 15-foot square section of the floor in front of you that leads right up to the wall with the giant X meeting the seams in the relief.

TRAVIS: (sighs) Might have to Tony Robbins this shit, right?

LAURA: Does it look like anything's supposed to go in the triangle? Does it look like a keyhole?

MATT: It looks like a gold relief that has a triangular hole in it. That's all you can see.

LAURA: Can we see how deep the hole goes?

MATT: You'd have to get closer to it.

LAURA: I want to get close to it on my broom and look at it.

MATT: All right, you fly up above the coals, and the heat emanating from the coals below you are extremely hot. You can see it warping the air above it, so you have to protect yourself a bit and squint the eyes, and you swear you can smell the scent of burning hair. And you get up close and you can see the relief, perhaps some sort of triangle or pyramid-like shape would slip into it. It looks like all the corners eventually converge to a point on the interior of it.

LAURA: Okay. All right. I back up so that I'm not in the fumes.

TRAVIS: Is there anything else in the room besides the two reliefs on either side that we can see? Tools?

MATT: Do you guys want to walk around the back of the staircase? As you guys move around the back of the staircase, the wall on the opposite side of that relief contains a third armored warrior relief embedded in the wall. You can see there are four pillars right along the side of where the staircase descends that contain bolted-in, large braziers that contain ever-burning flames, flickering, that give that orange-red glow, similar to the coals you saw embedded in the ground as you arrived. And then on the back side of the staircase and the column that held it aloft, you recognize it immediately, Grog, strangely. Because while you've not cared or understood what these things are before, suddenly you know what it is. You see a large metal-- it looks like a well, almost, but there is a furnace built into it and a number of tools that are hanging to the side, small tongs and heavy leather gauntlets. This is a smelter.

LAURA: Oh, that's where we have to smelt the platinum. Do we see anything around the room that looks like it could fit in that pyramid shape?

SAM: I'm going to cast, again, Detect Good and Evil, and do a swoop around and see if I sense any creatures or magically consecrated objects.

MATT: Okay. You sweep around the room. You detect no evil. You detect no magically consecrated objects. And at that point, the spell's about to fade or become permanent.

SAM: (sighs) Big choice.

LAURA: You mean, you'll stay like that forever? You can't undo it?

SAM: Yes, my child. I will drop the spell.

MATT: Okay. And with that, a smaller Scanlan form appears, the planetar angelic form vanishing, and he drops about four feet and lands on his feet on the ground.

SAM: I feel my back covered in hair. I'm back.

MATT: And a moment later, Grog, your form drops as well, and you revert back to normal Grog size. Still massive.

TRAVIS: So we're supposed to smelt the platinum, right? Melt it down. And then we use our magic beans to make the Prime Trammels.

TALIESIN: Do I understand how this triangle works?

MATT: This triangle does not at all resemble any of the designs that you had imbued upon you.

TALIESIN: I'm going to hop up to take a better look at it, as well.

MATT: Okay. So you walk up the side and look into it and you can see it's a triangle, and then pushing inward, all the points converge on the inside where it would fit a pyramid structure, about one foot on each side, corner to corner.

TALIESIN: And the point at which they connect, is that about a quarter size, would you say?

MATT: The point where it connects, it goes to a complete point.

TALIESIN: Complete point, okay.

TRAVIS: And that relief is in the middle of two crossbeams? So you couldn't push the crossbeams over and lay it down flat?

MATT: Well, the cross beams are bolted to the actual wall.

TRAVIS: It's not something we have to lay flat.

LIAM: Did you say there were two metal warriors?

MATT: There are two metal warriors to the right and left and then one on the back wall.

LIAM: And are they separated from where we are by hot coals, or can you walk right up to them?

MATT: The only hot coals are the ones that reside directly beneath the relief.

LIAM: Okay, so I'm going to check one of those out. See if it's any different than what we passed in that hallway.

MARISHA: And you said there were three warriors?

MATT: Yes.

LAURA: And we can get to the smelter right now, or it's beyond the crossbeams?

MATT: The smelter is on the other of the room, behind the staircase.

LAURA: All the shit we need?

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: 24.

MATT: 24. You approach, and look up into the warrior, and you can see the three of them are all in the same stance. They're all standing square. They all are clutching a long greatsword in one hand. The other appears to be open to either receive something or hold aloft something that's not there, and they're all facing forward.

LIAM: I'm shooting my wings out as I walk up to them, as well.

MATT: Okay. (whoosh) Your wings arc outward. Looking ahead, you can see the armored helmet that adorns its head that normally would pincer to where the nose is, and you can see the pores of the face. The helmet is one, big, domed curve on top, and where a face would be, there is no face. There's the outside of the head and a similar triangle gap in the face that's smaller than the one in the relief. You glance over quickly into the other warrior, and the third, and all three of them are faceless, instead having an empty triangle that disappears into the face.

LIAM: It goes inward like the big one.

MATT: Yes. But they're smaller.

MARISHA: While he does that, I stand in the middle. Are the three warriors triangulated, if you were to draw out a triangle between them?

MATT: In the hexagonal room, yes, they would be.

MARISHA: In the same shape?

MATT: It seems to be. Close enough, at least, based on the construction of the the chamber.

TRAVIS: What did the reliefs have in their hands? Weapons? Swords? Axes? Hammers?

MATT: No, they're all greatswords, but they're also part of the relief embedded in the wall.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MARISHA: And one open hand.

MATT: One open hand. It's embedded in the wall, and the other hand to the side. But the relief is all embedded in the wall, and you can see the the triangular opening. The only thing that darts inward is that vacuous shape in the face.

LAURA: This is where Vox Machina dies because they can't figure out--

TALIESIN: We can't figure out how the triangle works.

MARISHA: Is there anything on the floor? Any patterns on the floor?

MATT: Make an investigation check.

SAM: The smelter, is it active right now? Is it hot?

TRAVIS: Yeah, the coals are cooking.

MATT: The smelter is low, but it's burning.

SAM: What if we have to make something triangular?

LAURA: Yeah, to fit in those things.

MARISHA: 13.

MATT: 13? Doesn't appear to be. The floor is pretty solid. There's no real detail that catches your attention.

TALIESIN: Let's start smelting.

LAURA: Yeah. Might as well.

SAM: What if we take those beans and put them in the little triangle holes. I don't know. In their hands?

MATT: Well, the statues are in the wall and you can see the outer shape, barely protruding from the wall, so it would be hard to place something in the hand.

LAURA: Yeah, we switched all our gold for platinum in Vasselheim.

TALIESIN: Yeah, so let's start the smelter, at the very least.

MATT: Okay. The bellows are there. The big old heavy bellows, and Grog, you know exactly what to do. It's a really strange phenomenon to be like, "I've never done this," but it's second nature, and you begin to get that forge to well and burn, and brightly. You can see the flames and the coals heat up from dull red to a bright orange to a white at times, and as it heats up, you have the tongs. What do you smelt in?

MARISHA: But what to smelt in?

TRAVIS: I'm going to walk across.

MATT: You get the sense here that smelting is the heating and liquefying of metals: one, to remove impurities, and two, to then pour into a mold in which, when it cools, the metal makes the shape of whatever the mold is.

LAURA: Can I fly up to the circle on the wall, on the crossbeams? Does it come off?

MATT: You reach out and you touch the gold relief. It's built into the wall. It's a smooth, shiny, polished gold, but it's not moving at all.

LAURA: We can't find anything that makes a triangle shape, a pyramid shape, in the room?

TALIESIN: The faces of the statuary. Maybe we should prod them. We may as well start prodding things, because nothing's going to happen if we don't prod them. I'm going to crawl up to one of the statuary soldiers and see if the helmet comes off, or if the face is removable. I'm going to start tinkering.

MATT: You reach up and grab the side and feel the side of the face and reach into the inside of the gap in the triangular void, if you will.

TALIESIN: That thing is going to go click, isn't it?

MATT: No, your fingers slide in. It does come to a vanishing point. It comes to a point like the larger relief. Once you look inside and get a glance with the little bit of light that's in there, the shape on the inside of it is different. It's imperfect and messed up. It's hard to see what it is, but it's not a perfect triangle like the rest. Also, immediately, you guys see there's a flash of orange light that completely surrounds the exterior of the warrior, and the two other warriors, their entire outer line glows a bright orange, and with that, you instinctually step back--

TALIESIN: I step up.

MATT: Or yeah, step up, as all three of them (heavy movement) step out of the wall. Unlike the ones you saw previously that were pressed in and relief, these have a little more dimension to them, and the majority of their physical form was embedded backwards into the wall. They all of a sudden come storming outward, giant greatswords swinging in front of them, as they all immediately, the heads creepily with the open, triangular void of where a face would be spin to one of the nearby individuals in their space.

LAURA: Ooh, maybe we have to kill them and then smelt into their faces.

TALIESIN: I'm into it. I like this plan.

MARISHA: Don't destroy their faces!

MATT: That's where we'll pick up next week, because it is almost 11:00.

LAURA: All right. How tall are they? How big were they?

MATT: They're about ten to 12 feet tall?

LAURA: And they're made out of metal?

MATT: They're made out of the same metal material, it looks like, that the walls are.

LAURA: They're golems.

MATT: Constructs of some kind.

TRAVIS: Those crossbeams, do they look like they're structurally integral to the room?

MATT: No. They're bolted against the far wall, and it looks more ornamental, or at least there are seams against that back wall to hold a relief there or at least that's where the relief is placed. You get the sense with more inspection, you'd get a better feel, but it doesn't look like, immediately at glance, it's integral to the design. So! We'll pick up right at the beginning of those large, metallic creatures emerging from the walls and the ensuing conflict next week. In the meantime, thank you guys so much for joining us on the next crazy step of our adventure.

MARISHA: Happy birthday!

MATT: Happy birthday, yeah.

LAURA: It's still for another hour! Thank you, Magic: the Gathering - Puzzle Quest.

MATT: Yes, thank you Puzzle Quest, Magic: the Gathering edition for being our fantastic sponsor. Thank you guys for watching. We'll pick up next week, and then after that is GenCon.

LAURA: (laughs) Oh jeez.

MATT: So after next week is GenCon, so start getting that ready.

TRAVIS: Oh shit. Oh my god, we're going right into it.

MATT: Yep. (laughs) Two weeks. All right. Have a good night, guys, rest well, thank you for coming, and as always--

LAURA: I'll most likely kill you in the morning.

MATT: Is it Thursday yet? Good night.