Transcript:Ominous Lectures

Pre-show
(laughter)

MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

ALL: (yelling) We play Dungeons & Dragons! Before we jump into tonight's episode, we do have some sponsors and announcements to get through for the evening. With our first sponsor tonight, Cash App, Vince McSam, take it away.

SAM: I wish I could give you the hot fingering action you crave, Matt. (laughter)

SAM: Brought to you by Cash App: That's Money.

MATT: Oh my god.

SAM: But alas-- (laughter)

ASHLEY: All right.

SAM: But alas, I have been vanquished.

MARISHA: (growls)

SAM: I've been vanquished by--

LAURA: The Thumb! That's right, I whooped this cheating choad. Now, the Finger Championship Games belongs to us, the Finger Ladies of Wrestling!

MARISHA: (growls)

ASHLEY: Woo-hoo!

LAURA: Hooah, hooah! The best part about beating you is that it was easy.

SAM: Was it as easy as using Cash App, the easiest way to send, spend, and save money, the number one finance app in the App Store, and the best way to connect your direct deposit and get paid two days early?

LAURA: Even easier.

SAM: Ah! I built the FCG League with my blood, sweat, and underhanded illegal contracts. What are you going to do with my baby?

MARISHA: Ooh, I say we dismantle the ring and use the pieces, ow, to build a traveling, immersive, multimedia art experience called The After Finger.

ASHLEY: Ooh, ooh, ooh! How about we convert the league into a scientific research facility that studies horse immorality?

LAURA: Immortality.

SAM: Immortality.

ASHLEY: Or immortality. (laughter)

LIAM: Those are both interesting.

ASHLEY: Yes. I was like--

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: I'll take either. (laughter)

LAURA: While both ideas are entirely plausible, I think we should turn it into a charity.

SAM: A charity? Disgusting, outrageous, nauseating! What will this charity support?

LAURA: The Thumb Support Network will raise awareness of thumbs worldwide, empowering them to feel just as important as fingers! In fact: Hey, out there. It's me. Superstar wrestling legend and popular role model, The Thumb. (laughter)

LAURA: If you feel small, funny-looking, or not as popular as your friends, you're not alone. Like me, you're a thumb. At some point in our lives, every one of us has felt thumby: yearning to contribute, but not being able to reach as far as your neighbors.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

LAURA: Well, I'm here to inspire all the thumbs of this world, metaphoric and literal, to straighten yourself out and knuckle through life. You may be weird-looking, but you're opposable, damn it. (laughter)

LAURA: And if you believe in yourself, you will give yourself a hand and nail it.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

SAM: That was beautiful, Laura.

TRAVIS: My stomach hurts.

LAURA: I know.

SAM: Well, if you hadn't dismembered my freaky toe fingers, I'd be using them to donate to this fictional charity with Cash App. Download Cash App from the App Store or Google Play Store today, and create your own $Cashtag. Vince McSam is off to pursue my other dream--

ASHLEY: Scashtag?

SAM: Hand tap-dancing.

TRAVIS: Oh!

SAM: What were you saying?

ASHLEY: Scashtag? (laughter)

MATT: That's a different service.

ASHLEY: Because it had the little, it had the little thing, the money sign.

SAM: Scashtag. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Listen, I know how to read! (laughter)

ASHLEY: I know how to read.

SAM: Well, that's the end of this ad! And That's Money. Matt, back to you. (laughter)

MARISHA: Horse immortality?

ASHLEY: Horse immersion! (laughter)

MATT: To be real--

ASHLEY: That's what I'm working on over here.

TALIESIN: Oh god.

MATT: Every time I've been on a horse, I'm like, I don't trust this fucker.

ASHLEY: (laughs)

MATT: I think it's important study.

ASHLEY: The morality on this horse is a little weird.

MATT: There's not a lot of money and time going into that. I'm here with you, I'm behind you. (laughter)

MATT: This episode is also sponsored by NordVPN. (cheering)

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TRAVIS: It is that easy.

MARISHA: Yeah.

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MARISHA: Yeah.

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TRAVIS: Nice.

SAM: Great job, Matt.

ASHLEY: Sheesh!

MATT: And our next sponsor of the evening, D&D Beyond!

TRAVIS and TALIESIN: ♪ D&D Beyond ♪

MATT: They've been with us--

SAM: You have to do another one?

MATT: Oh yeah.

LAURA: Two of them in a row?

SAM: You got to read two of them in a row?

MATT: I'm taking this bitch.

SAM: Do it.

TRAVIS: Do it.

ASHLEY: Do it, do it!

TRAVIS: No prisoners.

MATT: D&D Beyond, they've been here with us for a long time. You can become a D&D Beyond subscriber this year and make the most out of your D&D Beyond account. Share your content and unlock exclusive monthly perks at dndbeyond.link/crsub. (cheering)

TRAVIS: Share 'em, share 'em up!

MARISHA: CR Sub!

TRAVIS: Do it.

MATT: There are some other announcements here. Sam and Travis, if you want to jump into this one?

TRAVIS: Oh yeah, I'll take it--

SAM: Take it, Travis.

TRAVIS: -- because you did the-- That was so great. Next Friday, January 20th-- (laughter)

SAM: It's okay.

TRAVIS: The Legend of Vox Machina Season 2 will premiere worldwide on Prime Video! Oh my gosh, we are so pumped. All our friends at Titmouse, we can't wait for you guys to see it. It's going to be lit! We will also once again be hosting-- I used the young kids' verbiage.

MARISHA: Uh-huh.

TRAVIS: -- a weekly watch party each Tuesday.

TALIESIN: They're 30 now.

TRAVIS: Starting January 24th with a few members of the cast, some special guests, and our returning moderator, the incredible Mica Burton. (cheering)

TRAVIS: You can find our full watch party schedule and more details on critrole.com. (laughs)

MARISHA: Dot com!

SAM: It's off the chain.

MATT: Well done. (laughter)

MATT: Marisha.

MARISHA: A quick heads-up that with the launch of Season 2 of The Legend of Vox Machina, there will be no new episode of Critical Role next week. We will be back on January 26th, which is the last Thursday of the month. I know we're going a little bit off-script. (laughs) But that will be episode 46 of Campaign 3. Radical. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Oh wow. This is radical.

ASHLEY: Wow, yeah.

TRAVIS: (gasps)

TALIESIN: That was fucking--

SAM: A special guest?

LIAM: Whoa, what is this? (exclaiming)

WILL: Move over, move over, move over.

MARISHA: Oh my god!

TRAVIS: It's TV's Will Friedle!

MARISHA: TV's Will Friedle!

MATT: Will Friedle?

TRAVIS: Hey, Will!

WILL: What are you guys doing? (laughter)

TRAVIS: You know, we're rolling some dice and stuff. Hey, aren't you going to be Kashaw in Season 2 of The Legend of Vox Machina?

WILL: I am! I cannot wait to come back--

TRAVIS: (laughs)

WILL: -- as Kash in Season 2 of Legend of Vox Machina. Mark, how you doing? (laughter)

WILL: Very happy to be here, very excited. This is the announcement portion of the show.

TRAVIS: This is.

WILL: That's why I'm here. Because I have a very special announcement. It's one we've been working on. It's actually really, really cool. So Christy Carlson Romano and I started a podcast called I Hear Voices, where we interview all these voice-over actors from around the world, and it has been a ton of fun, we've had a blast. But we have this dream that we've wanted to do, which is an American Idol-style contest across the country--

TRAVIS: Yeah!

WILL: -- to find the next big voice-over actor. It is called The Super Awesome Contest to be the Next Big Voice-Over Actor.

SAM: Yeah!

ASHLEY: Yes!

WILL: It's absolutely true. We are working with iHeartMedia and Amazon, and we are finding the next big voice-over actor, and the prizes are really insane. So the contest you're going to enter from January 9th to February 9th. You're going to send a two-minute video, no more than a two-minute video. It's very important because anything longer, and it's going to be too long.

TRAVIS: You getting this down, Sam?

WILL: Two minutes.

TRAVIS: Taking notes?

WILL: Write down "two minutes only."

TRAVIS: Come on, thumbs.

WILL: I heard the Thumb thing, by the way. Genius. Anyway. (laughter)

WILL: So here are some of the prizes you're going to win. First of all, you're going to win a trip to Los Angeles to have lunch with Will and-- Will, that's me.

TRAVIS: Yep.

WILL: That's written there. To have lunch with me and Christy.

TALIESIN: Not you.

WILL: You're going to meet for a one-on-one coaching session with the amazing Sam Riegel.

TRAVIS: Oh!

ASHLEY: Hey!

WILL: And Mary McGlynn.

TRAVIS: Oh! (exclaiming)

TRAVIS: Zahra in Season 2 of The Legend of Vox Machina, also voice director.

WILL: Correct, correct. You win $1,000, the trip to LA, but one of the coolest prizes ever is you win a one-year contract with CESD, my voice-over agency.

MARISHA: Woo!

TRAVIS: Yeah! That's so cool, dude.

WILL: And you get to be the voice of I Hear Voices and do some stuff for iHeartMedia. So you get a chance at a voice-over career. It's really a cool thing to sign with an agent, come out, meet everybody, come to Los Angeles. It is the Super Awesome, can you say the title for us?

TRAVIS: The Super Awesome Cotton Candy Contest.

WILL: Nope.

TRAVIS: Super Awesome--

WILL: You've lost already. It is the Super Awesome Contest to Become the Next Big Voice-Over Actor. Mitch, take it away. What is it?

MATT: No purchase necessary. Entries will be judged. The contest is open to legal residents of the United States who are 18 or older, there we go.

WILL: God, he does it that quick.

MARISHA: He's really good.

LAURA: He does it so good.

WILL: It's amazing.

TRAVIS: Can I have a take two?

WILL: Would you like one? Go ahead.

TRAVIS: The Super Cotton--

WILL: Nope. Okay, thank you. (laughter)

WILL: It's been awesome. You've been so good at this. But this is real, folks! So it's I Hear Voices and go to, it's the, I want to make sure I get the exact website.

SAM: I Hear Voices at iHeartRadio.

WILL: I Hear Voices at iheartradio.com. Put in your entries. January 9th through February 9th, two-minute video. The winner is going to actually maybe win a career, which is pretty great.

TRAVIS: I love it.

ASHLEY: Wow.

MARISHA: So cool.

LIAM: They're bonafide.

WILL: CESD is bonafide.

TRAVIS: Bonafide!

LAURA: Does it need to be the full two minutes or is it up to two minutes?

WILL: No, up to two minutes.

LAURA: Okay.

WILL: And just do a bunch of voices that you want to do, but if you want to do-- It doesn't have to be one thing. So you don't have to just do funny voices if you're really good at doing commercial copy or you're really doing it. Whatever it is, we're looking for a colleague. So if you think you've got what it takes, you got to step up and put your voices where mouth is.

TRAVIS: Make it shine. Yeah.

LAURA: That's so cool.

TALIESIN: That's what I say.

WILL: So it's going to be fun.

ASHLEY: That's very cool.

WILL: It's going to be great.

MARISHA: So cool.

WILL: So--

SAM: Thanks, Will, that was great.

ASHLEY: Thanks.

WILL: What are you guys doing? (laughter)

TRAVIS: You know, just--

ASHLEY: Just hanging out.

TRAVIS: Just hanging out.

WILL: Hanging out and having fun?

MARISHA: Just kind of sitting here.

ASHLEY: Chilling, having some drinks.

WILL: Well, my car is running.

MATT: Yeah, you should move.

SAM: Oh, go get it.

WILL: I thought I'd stick around.

MATT: No, no, no, no, you should go. You should go.

TRAVIS: Mitch needs water. (laughter)

WILL: Mitch needs water. (laughter)

WILL: All right, thanks, everybody.

ASHLEY: We love you, Will.

WILL: Have fun.

TALIESIN: We love you, buddy.

WILL: Enter the contest. It's going to be a ton of fun.

MARISHA: Bye, Will. Bye, everybody.

ALL: Bye, Will!

MATT: See you, buddy.

WILL: Great fun, guys! (cheering)

TRAVIS: Have fun storming the castle!

WILL: Bye-bye! (laughter)

LIAM: That's Kash Money.

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: That's cash.

TRAVIS: Scash money.

ASHLEY: I love scash money.

MATT: Well. I fucking hate that guy. (laughter)

TRAVIS: He's so talented and handsome.

MARISHA: He's very handsome.

TRAVIS: Son of a bitch!

MATT: I believe that concludes our announcements. So without further ado, let's go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role. ♪ It's Thursday night ♪

ASHLEY: ♪ One-by-one, we climb until we reach the top ♪ ♪ Two-by-two, we fall ♪

LAURA: ♪ Will we meet our end or meet our destiny? ♪ ♪ Hold your breath and roll ♪

MATT: How do you want to do this?

ALL: ♪ It's Thursday night ♪ ♪ All ye Critters, ♪ come join us ♪ ♪ It's time to ♪ continue our plight ♪ ♪ There is ♪ magic and mystery ♪ ♪ Who knows ♪ what will happen ♪ ♪ He might ♪ ♪ But one thing's for sure ♪ ♪ We never give up ♪ on the fight ♪

TRAVIS: ♪ From the healer ♪

LIAM: ♪ To the renegade ♪

MATT: ♪ We all share the same goal ♪

TALIESIN and MATT: ♪ Adding more allies ♪ ♪ Taking more chances ♪

SAM: ♪ Hold your breath and roll ♪

MARISHA: You can certainly try.

ALL: ♪ It's Thursday night ♪ ♪ All ye Critters, ♪ come join us ♪ ♪ It's time to ♪ continue our plight ♪ ♪ It's Thursday night ♪ ♪ There is ♪ magic and mystery ♪ ♪ From darkness, ♪ our friendship will rise ♪ ♪ But one thing's for sure ♪ ♪ We never give up ♪ on the fight ♪ ♪ Oh, get ready (get ready) ♪ ♪ It's Thursday night ♪

Part I
MATT: And welcome back. So last we left off: Bells Hells had come to the city of Yios, the City of Flowing Light, on the southern side of the continent of Marquet in search of information surrounding the research being done around the Omen Archive and the Grim Verity. While you are here, you missed an opportunity at the moment to meet with the Professor Kadija Sumal. But she should be in for a meeting the following day. While there, you encountered an entity called a Judicator. These are engineered distributors of justice for the highest temples of Vasselheim. They're essentially holy hunters. In the shadow of that fear and the information that Ebeni, or-- Ebenold Kai of the Grim Verity. Fucked that name up, didn't I? (babbling) Ebeni, Ebenem.

TRAVIS: You said it better than we can.

MATT: -- had not been at the seminary for some time, apparently just essentially abandoning his post as one of the professors. You magically persuaded the clerk of the seminary to lead you to the house where he lives and decided to sneak in there, doing a reconnaissance mission. Upon going through there, you found that it was seemingly abandoned and slightly trapped. Then upon going into the basement, ran into two members of the Grim Verity. You followed them through a portal, met Planerider Ryn, and discovered quite a bit of information about what might be happening, what the goals are of a group called the Ruby Vanguard. That is the Ruidian crew working with Ludinus Da'leth and Otohan. Upon returning to this basement, discovered that the house was recently broken into and is being searched through by members of this vanguard. You decided to strip your clothes off and try and convince them that you were filming pornography or something. I don't know. (laughter)

MARISHA: Oh my god.

TALIESIN: I leave for one--

ASHLEY: We're so dumb.

TALIESIN: Okay.

ASHLEY: Why did we do that?

MATT: Welcome back, Taliesin. (laughter)

TALIESIN: What is wrong with you people? (laughter)

SAM: We lost our moral compass, apparently.

TALIESIN: That's the most horrifying thing I've ever heard you say. We're in such trouble.

MATT: Yep.

LAURA: Oh god.

MATT: Which nearly did something. (laughter)

MATT: Instead, a battle ensued within this house, where you managed to defeat this troop, grabbed one, and absconded with them, found a safe house and interrogated them. You reached out to Planerider Ryn, one of the members of the Grim Verity that you had recently met and completed some of this interrogation for you. At this point, you are figuring out which direction to take as the time of the solstice is looming, and there are many paths to be chosen as you decide what your final affairs are here in Yios and what to do. We finished with you, Imogen, sending a message to Ashton, who'd been missing for quite a few hours. And you said?

LAURA: Something along the lines of, Where in the hell are you? Shit's going down. We need to leave town, stat.

TRAVIS: "I want my money back."

LAURA: (laughs) Something like that.

MARISHA: Bitch.

TRAVIS: Bitch. Yeah. (laughter)

MATT: You hear back from Ashton.

TALIESIN: Yeah. Okay. I'll head right towards you. It'd be nice if you told me where you are! (laughter)

TALIESIN: You can't reply to this message. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Nice.

ASHLEY: Did you get any?

SAM: Do you have any more?

LAURA: No, I don't. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Yes! (laughter)

LAURA: No, I do not. I used my sorcery points to get back a 3rd-level so that I could--

SAM: I did not take that spell today. (laughter)

LAURA: I can use a 4th-level, I think.

MATT: Yeah, you can use higher-level spell slots.

LAURA: Great, I'll just waste a 4th.

MARISHA: You're such a dick. You could have said where you were.

LAURA: I know! (laughter)

TALIESIN: Yeah.

TRAVIS: That sounds right, that sounds right.

MATT: Yep.

TRAVIS: That sounds right. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LAURA: All right.

MARISHA: I think the question was, where are you?

LAURA: Yeah, that was the question.

TALIESIN: Yeah, you said-- Yeah.

TALIESIN: All right.

SAM: Oh wow.

TALIESIN: I wouldn't have told you anyway.

LIAM: That tracks, that tracks.

TALIESIN: Is it worth to use 4th-level?

LAURA: Yeah, you should. I feel like you should.

TALIESIN: Wait, where are you guys right now, out of curiosity?

SAM: You don't know.

LAURA: You don't know, do you?

SAM: You don't know. (cooing)

TALIESIN: I know where I am, though. So it's possible that you could run into me if you're where I am.

LAURA: It's possible.

SAM: Actually, where are we right now?

LAURA: We're in the docks.

MARISHA: We were by the docks.

SAM: That's right.

TRAVIS: Eastside Docks.

LAURA: Okay.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

ASHLEY: I'm going to send a message.

TALIESIN: Okay.

LIAM: Before you send that message--

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: Planerider, just talking to Matthew, our lovely game master.

MATT: Yes.

LIAM: Planerider Ryn took off with the elementalist, right?

MATT: Correct.

ASHLEY: I don't know if you know.

LIAM: We handed them over?

LAURA: Oh no, I thought she left us with him.

MATT: Oh no, no, no, the elementalist was left in the safe house, in a docile, charmed state.

LIAM: Here?

MATT: They just sat down.

TRAVIS: Yeah, remember he got all like, "Okay."

LIAM: And who is-- But we're with him, but we're not going to be soon?

TRAVIS: We're leaving him with--

LAURA: We should take him with us wherever we go.

SAM: No, he seems totally--

MARISHA: With Ryn, right?

LAURA: No, Ryn left him--

SAM: He's just a vegetable right now.

LAURA: -- in the warehouse with us.

MATT: Yeah, and Ryn wandered off to handle some other business.

LAURA: So if we leave him, it's possible that he will just sit here, but it's also possible something could happen to him before Planerider Ryn comes back.

MARISHA: Okay. That's fair.

LIAM: He might think we want sandwiches, and go out to get them for us, and make problems.

LAURA: Yeah. So we should probably take him with us.

SAM: And do what?

LAURA: I'm going to send a message back to Ashton.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah, they'd be gone by now, okay.

LAURA: (sighs)

TRAVIS: Yep, that's one.

LIAM: Yeah, sigh is one word.

TALIESIN: It feels like five.

LIAM and TALIESIN: (laugh)

TRAVIS: Le sigh. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Weh.

MARISHA: Which then caused another five.

TRAVIS: Teeth.

LAURA: You know--

TALIESIN: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Is that you know or y'know?

LAURA: Y'know, I'm just going to assume we're headed towards the seminary here in a bit. So that's where we'll meet ya'. (drawls) So that's where we'll meet ya', son.

TRAVIS: Repeated yourself! (laughter)

SAM: (drawls) Werther's Originals.

TALIESIN: Okay.

TRAVIS: (drawls) Jimmy's shorts!

SAM: Okay? (laughter)

SAM: Okay?!

LAURA: I'm going to murder them.

SAM: 4th-level "Okay"?

TALIESIN: I'm heading towards the seminary.

TRAVIS: I love it.

MARISHA: So much magic for an okay.

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: It's perfect.

ASHLEY: What are we doing with this person? We're just leaving them?

SAM: Want to put them in my chest cavity?

TRAVIS: I kind of do, yeah. I mean, we'd have to chop them up into little pieces. You start at the joints and take care of the tendons first and then they just (sups) fall right off.

ASHLEY: Do that real quick.

LAURA: Well.

TRAVIS: I hear.

LAURA: I mean, we should probably take him with us.

SAM: Oh wait, is he going to be able to walk like that?

ASHLEY: How long is he going to be like this? Do we know?

SAM: Planerider Ryn did that. It could last 10 minutes. It could last 10 hours. 10--

MARISHA: Should we test it out and see what all he can do and function?

SAM: Oh, like give him a command or something?

MARISHA: Yes.

LIAM: He's just in a fog state here?

MATT: Just in a fugue state staring loosely at the wall, just basically given a command by Ryn to sit and stay, more or less and then they left.

ASHLEY: Hey (kisses). Touch your nose.

ASHLEY: Okay, he's not going to listen to us.

MARISHA: Tuldus. Tuldus. Do some jumping jacks.

SAM: Maybe it's like Simon Says. You got to say "Simon Says" or something or "Ryn Says."

ASHLEY and LAURA: Yeah, Ryn Says.

MARISHA: Tuldus! Ryn says do some jumping jacks.

MATT: Make a persuasion check. (laughter)

MATT: Why not?

MARISHA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Don't fuck this up. First roll.

TRAVIS and MARISHA: (laugh)

LAURA: What is it?

MARISHA: You all should have let Laudna die. (laughter)

TRAVIS: One roll and she's ready to... (laughter)

MARISHA: Nine!

LIAM: (as Caleb) It's auspicious.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: "Nah."

TRAVIS: If I could, maybe carrying around a member of the Ruby Vanguard isn't such a good idea? What if he gets noticed by, you know, comrades?

LIAM: Laudna, could Pâté stay behind and keep an eye on him for us?

MARISHA: He could. I'm not sure if he's up for that level of responsibility, but you know, I have full faith in him. Maybe this is his opportunity to grow and rise in his station.

LIAM: Does he always do what you ask?

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: "(grunts) Hello, it's been a little bit. How are you all doing?"

MARISHA: Hang on for a second. Imogen is talking.

MATT: "Oh, sorry."

LAURA: Wait, let me... Now I can't remember if I actually did use a sorcery point to get back that 3rd-level spell.

MATT: If I recall you did.

LIAM: I feel like I remember that.

LAURA: I did?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: Okay, okay, okay. So I'll mark those off. So I could do the same thing again and get another 3rd-level back because I just realized we have no way to contact Ryn now that I've used all my spell--

MARISHA: Oh.

LAURA: -- slots on Ashton. Because they're being a punk.

TALIESIN: Oh, actually.

SAM: Well, the plan stands, though. We're going to leave the rat?

MARISHA: Pâté.

MATT: "Yeah?"

MARISHA: Very, very big assignment for you. I need to hear if you feel like you can handle this level of responsibility, all right?

MATT: "I can guarantee you I can handle it."

MARISHA: But, you don't know yet! You don't know. I haven't told you.

MATT: "Well, tell me."

SAM and TRAVIS: (laugh)

MARISHA: Do you see this man over here?

MATT: "Yeah."

MARISHA: That's Tuldus.

MATT: "Hi, Tuldus."

MARISHA: Mm-hmm. Do you think you could babysit him--

MATT: "(laughs)"

MARISHA: -- while we're gone? Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid or run away or run out--

TRAVIS: No, we're going to leave him restrained. It's just if anything funky starts happening, he starts trying to cast magic, he can let you know.

MARISHA: Right. You have to let me know. You just, you basically you just have to be my eyes.

MATT: "Right. Cool. I'll let you know."

MARISHA: You can't wander off either.

MATT: "Got it."

MARISHA: You have to stay here.

MATT: "Yeah, right here."

MARISHA: You can communicate with me telepathically, right?

MATT: "I think so."

MARISHA: No, you can, I'm--

MATT: "Okay. Yeah?"

SAM: (laughs)

MARISHA: I'm-- Can you do this?

MATT: You hear in your head, "Yeah, I think so."

LAURA: (laughs)

MARISHA: Oh my god. I'm so proud of you. You're maturing so well!

MATT: "(laughs) Thanks, you know, coming up in the world."

MARISHA: Oh goodness, all right. Go find some place to hide.

MATT: "Whoa!"

TRAVIS: Straight to the wall.

MATT: (chitters)

MARISHA: Okay.

ASHLEY: Are we leaving him free willy-nilly, or are we tying him or anything?

TRAVIS: No, we're definitely binding him.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

LIAM: Hands.

TRAVIS: And feet and a gag.

ASHLEY: Whoa.

LAURA: Really?

TRAVIS: Don't he have magic?

LAURA: I mean, yeah, that's true.

ASHLEY: Oh, that's true. That's true, that's true.

LIAM: Yep. I'm going to as gently as possible put a bandana in this guy's mouth, tie it around back.

MATT: He opens his mouth to help.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: Sorry.

LAURA: I wonder how long? We should've asked Ryn how long this is going to last.

LIAM: He did try to kill us. I tighten it.

ASHLEY: You seem pretty confident.

TRAVIS: Who's got rope?

SAM: Didn't we use all of it?

TRAVIS: I used mine.

ASHLEY: I think I have some rope. I have lots of ribbon.

LIAM: I have rope.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: I have yarn.

SAM: I have my rope, too.

LAURA: (laughs)

SAM: Yarn?

MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Do you have 1,000 feet of yarn? Just like-- (whirs)

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: Just turn his hand--

MARISHA: How much yarn--

LAURA: -- into a little ball.

MARISHA: -- comes in one of those little balls? I don't know.

TALIESIN: Like 30 yards or something. I have to look. Like 30 yards.

MARISHA: Yay.

TALIESIN: That's my brain saying.

SAM: I have rope, too, apparently.

TRAVIS: You do?

SAM: In my backpack, yeah.

MATT: All right, so--

TRAVIS: Great, we're going to hogtie him.

MATT: All right, then go ahead and mark off that rope. That's used.

SAM: How much rope is used, all of it?

MATT: Figure if you do a full hog tie comfortably, between ankles, wrists, pull it back, I put it about--

TRAVIS: (chitters) (yelps)

MATT: I'd say 25 feet of rope, at least. To do it safely.

MARISHA: You speed roping? (laughs)

SAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: Who ties up people in bows?

MATT and TRAVIS: (laugh)

MATT: All right, with him secured and gagged, what do you want to do?

LAURA: We should head towards the seminary.

LIAM: Yeah, yeah, just heading there?

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Okay.

SAM: Okay, yeah. Just reminding you all, you know, I'm not having a great day today, so just be on, just watch your backs and stuff.

LIAM: Is there anything that we've done that has helped you in that situation?

LAURA: Yeah, what can we do for you?

SAM: Just be kind to each other, I think.

TRAVIS: Oh jeez!

LAURA: Any kind of conflict might set it off?

TRAVIS: Oh boy.

SAM: I think physical conflicts help, it definitely sets it off and then maybe any emotional conflicts. So maybe just every-- Don't you even fucking joke right now. (laughter)

SAM: Sorry, sorry, see, look? I can't even control.

TRAVIS: I done made him curse!

SAM: Can't control. (laughter)

ASHLEY: That was--

SAM: I'm a curser now. I curse! I'm a swearer!

LAURA: You know what?

TRAVIS: And you thought you couldn't have a soul!

SAM: Quick, put a-- I got to put a coin in the coin jar. (laughter)

MATT: There it is.

SAM: In the swear jar.

LAURA: Om nom nom nom.

SAM: All right, yeah, just everybody just try to be optimistic and maybe that will help not set-- Just be nice to each other.

LAURA: All right.

SAM: Overly nice.

LAURA: (fawns) All right.

LIAM: Overly nice.

SAM: Yeah.

LIAM: All right.

TALIESIN: I'm going to take a little HP bump.

TRAVIS: A-okay!

SAM: Great. All right, let's go.

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: Bye, Pâté!

MATT: "Bye!" (laughter)

LAURA: Should we--

SAM: Did Pâté close the whole door by themselves?

MATT: That was me showing you closing the door behind you.

SAM: Oh, okay, okay, okay.

MATT: Sorry.

SAM: I thought that was Pâté having unrealistic strength!

MARISHA: Yeah, I mean, he's so buff for a dead rat.

TRAVIS: Chetney and Orym, please scan.

LIAM: Yep.

TRAVIS: Anybody watching, staking us out, waiting for us.

LIAM: Beat me to it.

MATT: Perception checks, both of you.

LIAM: Yep.

MARISHA: Oi.

LIAM: No good.

TRAVIS: Yeah, bitch. Naturale uno. (laughter)

LIAM: 26.

TALIESIN: I forgot to take 10 out of my HP. I'm going to take 10.

MATT: Okay, go for it. Sorry, what was that again?

LIAM: 26.

MATT: 26.

TALIESIN: Sorry.

MATT: The bustle continues to flow through the docks here, but nobody around you is taking any sort of odd notice to you beyond just the usual cursory glance of this motley crew going through the street.

LIAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Chetney's just that guy that can't figure out how the joysticks work in the video game. (laughter)

MARISHA: He's clipping through barrels.

LAURA: Chet, straight ahead, straight ahead, straight ahead.

TRAVIS: Who inverted the Y-axis, asshole? (laughter)

LIAM: Why do you keep walking into that wall?

TRAVIS: (thuds)

MARISHA: Just restart from the last check point.

MATT: No worries. So gathering yourselves, closing the warehouse behind you, trudging back into the bustling city streets of Yios, you head through the Endeavor Ring back to the northern Dominion Ring, up the large sets of winding stairs, beyond the statues of the various heroes and founders of the city, through the central courtyards and walkways until you eventually come to the base of the stairs that lead up into the Aydinlan Seminary. Do you arrive immediately or do you take some time?

TALIESIN: It'll probably be about five minutes after they're all there, so.

MATT: Okay, so you all sit there looking around a bit. You can see some students keeping notice and you eventually see a familiar figure, or at least a figure, start charging up.

TALIESIN: Charging is a bold word.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Trudging to you, you see slowly, unhappily, is a young man with dark brown hair--

SAM: What?

TALIESIN: -- some bad skin, in chef's whites and a chef's hat, covered in tomato sauce, some sort of sticky apple pastry filling, just viciously filthy from food refuse trudging towards you all. (exhales)

LAURA: Just don't make eye contact.

TALIESIN: The fuck happened to all of you?

TRAVIS: Sorry, are we acquainted?

LAURA: Ashton?

TALIESIN: Oh. Shit, hold on. And the glamour drops.

MATT: (glamour dropping)

TALIESIN: I'm just filthy in chef's whites and the chef's hat, covered in food.

LAURA: What?

MARISHA: Have you always been able to--

ASHLEY: Who was that?

TALIESIN: That wasn't me. That was Violet, that was all-- That was a whole--

SAM: Violet?

TALIESIN: You know, can we talk about--

LAURA: Have you been here before?

TALIESIN: No, and (groans).

LAURA: Would you like me to help you?

TALIESIN: Yes, please.

LAURA: ♪ Prestidigitation ♪

TALIESIN: Is it enough to clean this amount of filth?

MATT: It takes a moment.

LAURA: ♪ So I'll cast a couple times ♪

TRAVIS: Is that food?

TALIESIN: It's very expensive marinara sauce, fresh apple tarts, vinegarette--

LIAM: Did you get a job?

TRAVIS: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Kinda?

ASHLEY: Wait, I didn't know you could to that. Who was that?

TALIESIN: (sighs) Are we going somewhere?

TRAVIS: Yes, sure. Yeah, yeah. We can walk and talk.

ASHLEY: Wait, how do we know it's you?

TALIESIN: I don't fucking know.

MARISHA: It's him.

LAURA: The brain thoughts are the same. The brain thoughts.

LIAM: How are the butt thoughts?

SAM: (laughs)

TALIESIN: I've also clearly been in a fight.

TRAVIS: Oh.

TALIESIN: I am also been kicked around a bit, clearly.

TRAVIS: Okay. Whoa.

LAURA: Yeah, but did you make a porn?

TALIESIN: What?

LAURA: We should go in.

TRAVIS: Yeah, let's find someplace--

TALIESIN: What the fuck did you-- (snickering)

LIAM: Wow.

TALIESIN: Just take the air out of the whole room there. Okay.

MATT: (sighs)

LIAM: Created a whole industry last game. Canon.

ASHLEY: Yes. (laughs)

TALIESIN: I thought three hours, two hours, you'd be fine. You don't-- Okay.

MARISHA: You could've said like, "Be right back!"

TALIESIN: Well, okay.

MARISHA: "Going somewhere!"

TALIESIN: So--

SAM: A lot of tension between you guys right now.

LAURA: Oh, you know what?

SAM: Just try to keep it light, please.

MARISHA: I'm sorry. You're right.

SAM: Maybe just support him.

LAURA: Ashton, everything looks great and you, if you need help with anything, we're here for you.

SAM: Thank you.

TALIESIN: It's been a day.

LIAM: Plus, we're going to go on a vacation very soon.

TALIESIN: Really?

LIAM: To one of three really interesting locales.

SAM: We're so happy to see you again, Ashton.

TRAVIS: Oh, it's such a relief. I go up and I hug his knee very, very--

TALIESIN: Ow! That's-- Okay. Okay.

TRAVIS: Is this better?

TALIESIN: No, that's--

SAM: Thank you.

TALIESIN: It is good, actually. It's nice to see you, too.

SAM: Aww, see? That's nice.

TALIESIN: There was some nice woodwork, I thought of you.

SAM: When you give kindness, you get it back.

TRAVIS: Oh! Really?

TALIESIN: Yeah, there was some very nice woodwork in that office.

SAM: Office?

TALIESIN: There were beautiful shelves.

TRAVIS: Boy.

SAM: You got an office job?

TALIESIN: I had to-- Well, I may have-- I didn't-- Well, yeah, I may have robbed an office. There was a robbing of an office. There was-- There was a mob, there was a whole--

SAM: You're using the passive voice.

LIAM: A mob or the mob?

SAM: There was an office. There was a robbery.

TALIESIN: There may have been--

TRAVIS: And you worked in a kitchen?

TALIESIN: Briefly. Well, technically.

TRAVIS: What the fuck?

LAURA: Did you look like yourself or did you look like that other guy?

TALIESIN: Oh. No, that. I mean, they can't trace anything to me.

LAURA: All right.

TALIESIN: Thankfully. Okay. So are we walking at this point?

TRAVIS: Yep.

SAM: Well, we're here. We're going here.

TALIESIN: Oh. Okay, we're going. So while we were walking up the stairs, one of the fucking smart people were walking. I recognized a face. It's a person I used to work with. Their name is Violet. They're the person that you call when you want to find someone who's missing or trying to hide or taking care of somebody. They're bad news.

SAM: What? Those all sound like good things. You want to find someone who's missing, you call this person? It sounds good.

TALIESIN: Find someone who's hiding.

LIAM: Are they a fixer?

SAM: Oh. Oh, okay.

TALIESIN: They do a lot of things. They're smart, they're polite, they're very good at convincing people to do what they'd like them to do and we made eye contact and just long enough that I felt that I should just really quickly run down, try and catch them super, super quick. Didn't have enough time to explain to you what the fuck was going on to make sure we weren't being followed by very bad people with bank rolls.

LAURA: Right.

LIAM: We turned around and you were gone.

TALIESIN: Yeah. I went. Had a brief interrogation of Violet and--

MARISHA: They interrogated you or you interrogated them?

TALIESIN: I interrogated them at first, but they're really, I mean, they're very, they're so smart and you start talking and then suddenly you're answering questions and you didn't mean to be and so I accidentally told them a lot.

TRAVIS: Oh.

LAURA: Oh.

TALIESIN: Then, turns out they weren't here for us, so that's good. They're on a whole other thing. But then, they knew enough that they could've turned us in for money, so I agreed to do a quick 60-minute tag along just to sort of clear that up to make sure that no word is going to get back--

TRAVIS: You freelanced on the side?!

TALIESIN: They were going to sell our--

LAURA: It's fine. It's fine.

SAM: Keep your voices down, please.

ASHLEY: It's fine, it's so great. He was just helping out.

LAURA: Ashton, it's fine.

TALIESIN: So--

LAURA: You seem anxious.

TALIESIN: I--

LAURA: Is there anything we can do to help you out right now?

TALIESIN: A drink would be lovely.

LAURA: All right.

TALIESIN: There may have been-- Yeah, there may have been a lot involved. Yeah.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

LIAM: Well--

TALIESIN: The sentries may have been involved.

SAM: Sentries?

MARISHA: The sentries?

TALIESIN: Yeah, there were cops.

MARISHA: Do you mean like time, or like--

TALIESIN: Cops.

MARISHA: People who-- Cops, all right.

SAM: Time cops.

TALIESIN: There were cops, there were mobsters. There was--

MARISHA: Time cops! Oh fuck!

TALIESIN: There was some fighting.

LAURA: Century sentries.

TALIESIN: I may have kidnapped--

MARISHA: Century sentries!

TALIESIN: I may have helped kidnap a mobster. There was-- A lot went down.

TRAVIS: We were gone--

LIAM: But centuries only affect Chetney.

TRAVIS: That's right.

SAM: That's true.

MARISHA and LAURA: (laugh)

TRAVIS: And I got them under my boot.

LIAM: Roll.

TALIESIN: So yeah.

SAM: So you did a job for this person so that they wouldn't be able to blackmail us or to hold one over on us?

TALIESIN: A deal's a deal.

SAM: Was the job successful?

TALIESIN: Oh yeah, the job was successful. We were-- Turns out Violet was in town to try and get some information out of one of the local mobs, the Baneful Brood, I believe, god!

SAM and TRAVIS: The Baneful Brood?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LIAM: Good alliteration.

TALIESIN: Yeah, they had a lot of it. They were very-- They were a lot. Anyway, I agreed to come in as a little bit of muscle to help make sure that if anything went down while they were trying to steal some ledgers to prove, apparently, some sort of fishy business between them and some artifact theft. I went in. Violet gave me a glamour. Went in through the kitchen so that they would have some back up. Shit got weird. Got caught. Had to tie up a couple mobsters while we ransacked the main guy's office. Or-guerro I think his name. I don't even--

SAM: O-gyro?

TALIESIN: Or-gre-o. Orgreo, Orgreo.

MARISHA: Orgreo.

TALIESIN: We may have tied him up.

SAM: That's a mobster who we should be mindful of?

TALIESIN: Oh no, I think he's-- At least last I checked, I think he's been arrested.

TRAVIS: (laughs) Yeah.

TALIESIN: Turns out he doesn't keep a ledger, he has a kenku. So we kidnapped the kenku.

MARISHA: (gasps)

TRAVIS: This is the best story ever. (laughs)

TALIESIN: We tied up the kenku. We wrapped the kenku up in a very expensive rug that was clearly stolen and antique, and worth more money than I've ever made in my life.

ASHLEY: Did you keep it?

MARISHA: Did you keep the rug? Same questions, yes.

ASHLEY: Same page.

MARISHA: Or the kenku. Did you keep either?

TALIESIN: Well yes, until, of course, everything went wrong. It's a very big house. It's a very big house and there was a lot of turns and a lot of rooms. I don't know why it had so many rooms. Not a lot of people live there. The next thing I know, we were unconscious, tied up in the kitchen, and there was some interrogation on their end, not ours. We were-- They got the kenku back and they were starting to ask me about who I was and what was happening and what was going on and there was some punching, which I'm fine with, but. And then the feds raided.

SAM: The feds?

MARISHA: The feds? (laughter)

SAM: What's a fed?

TALIESIN: The sentries. Everyone got upset when I said sentries, so.

ASHLEY: The sentries raided, okay.

SAM: The century sentries?

TALIESIN: A bunch of people showed up with authority.

TRAVIS: Oh no.

TALIESIN: Busted the place out, I got out just long enough to actually throw enough fists. Don't fight in kitchens.

TRAVIS: Oh.

MARISHA: We fought in a basement. Equally as bad.

LAURA: Naked. They were naked. I wasn't naked.

ASHLEY: Wait, but you didn't give them any information when they were interrogating?

TALIESIN: Oh no. Well, thankfully no. It didn't get that far, thankfully. Now, the kenku and the boss are arrested and--

MARISHA: They arrested the kenku?

SAM: That's okay. It's a filthy bird.

TALIESIN: He was a mob-- He was a bad kenku.

TRAVIS: Living ledger.

MARISHA: He was a bad--

TALIESIN: He was a bad, bad kenku.

LAURA: Some kenkus aren't nice.

SAM: All kenkus aren't nice.

LAURA: No, there's some really nice kenkus out there.

TALIESIN: No, well, I mean this is the one good thing that happened is obviously the glamour never faded, and the authorities were very happy with how everything went down. It worked out great for them, they got to pull everybody. Everybody who's going to get arrested is arrested. They were really grateful. I gave my statement and they said anytime if I need anything from them, just to let them know. I've got now some friends on the-- Just in case. I've got some names that we can talk to.

TRAVIS: You're an informant.

TALIESIN: Well yeah, and they said they're definitely-- They'll-- Fuck, I had a glamour up when I talked to them, shit.

MATT: (laughs)

LIAM: That story was like a Rube Goldberg device.

TALIESIN: They don't know who the fuck I am.

SAM: I don't know if the story's over yet, Orym.

TALIESIN: Yeah, they gave a big favor to a random person I can never look like again. Cool. Cool. That's great.

LAURA: You still sound the same, though.

TALIESIN: Yeah, but I'm also a criminal, so probably not. Yeah, that might--

TRAVIS: Did the bar back have a name? You, the version of you?

TALIESIN: Yeah, Louise. I didn't pick it.

TRAVIS: Okay.

TALIESIN: That's all Violet. Violet is very-- It's hard to argue with Violet. She's really--

MARISHA: You knew Violet?

TALIESIN: We used to do some stuff back in the day. She worked with Hexum a few times, also even before. Yeah, it was one of those people that would show up when you had a big gig because they were good talk, they were the best talkers.

MARISHA: You know so many people.

TALIESIN: I do. I know too many people.

LAURA: I have a lot of questions.

TALIESIN: But yeah.

TRAVIS: So you came out of it with the feds owing somebody else a favor, and pockets full of dough, right? Lots of money?

TALIESIN: I might actually have some dough.

TRAVIS: Oh snap! Let's see the coin, baby!

LAURA: No, it's actual dough.

LIAM: No, it's the--

TRAVIS: Oh.

ASHLEY: Oh, because of the baking situation.

TALIESIN: Oh.

TRAVIS: Sourdough?

TALIESIN: Actually, hold on. I pull out the hole and walk in and grab my hammer, which I have not had, and pull out some fresh pastries at least, that are reasonably--

SAM: Oh!

ASHLEY: Oh, great.

TALIESIN: I got breakfast. I didn't know what else to do.

SAM: That's wonderful.

ASHLEY: That's as great a gift as any.

TRAVIS: That's such a busy morning.

LAURA: That is a lot.

TALIESIN: I'm so tired, and apparently, at the very least, some version of a person that is thankfully not me, I should take these off, has really pissed off one of the local mobs, so I'm going to-- I would really-- Thank you for that, I really need a shower and a drink at the same time.

LIAM: Well, the good news is we're leaving town real, real soon.

TALIESIN: Oh good.

LIAM: We're a little tight on time. I don't have a watch.

TALIESIN: Let's go. (laughter)

TALIESIN: What's a watch?

MARISHA: It's been centuries. (laughter)

LIAM: Letters.

SAM: Oi?

LIAM: Are you calm? Are you feeling good? Are you--

SAM: I'm trying to just focus. I've picked a point across the street. I'm just looking at that. I'm just sort of focusing on it.

MARISHA: They've had a bad day.

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I'm sorry.

LAURA: What's the name of the professor that we're looking for for you?

SAM: Oh, well--

LAURA: Do you remember?

SAM: Yes, I do. Of course I do. It is Vitro Isham.

LAURA: Vitro Isham. And you have the directions to get to their--

SAM: Yes, they're in the Brass Structure, forward to the right of the main campus entrance, I think.

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: Is it possible to just walk that direction?

SAM: Oh, we'd have to pass through the info desk again.

LARUA: Yeah, but most students don't pass through the info desk, right? They just kind of go?

SAM: What are we doing there? I'm just going to-- Don't we have to go to-- Don't we have to go?

LIAM: Well, we do, but--

LAURA: This is important.

SAM: Ashton's covered in food.

TALIESIN: I'm going to change.

LAURA: No, not anymore.

TALIESIN: No, only my dignity is covered in food, I'm going to be right back. I'm going to change. I walk into the hole.

SAM: That was a crazy story.

MARISHA: No, don't leave! Now he's going to be gone again forever.

TALIESIN: I can hear you. I'm in a hole.

LAURA: No, actually, you can't hear us when you're in the hole.

TALIESIN: I can't?

LAURA: No.

TALIESIN: Is that true?

TRAVIS: (muffled mumbling)

TALIESIN: I can't hear you. I'm in a hole. (laughter)

TRAVIS: (muffled noises)

TALIESIN: I'm just changing.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

TALIESIN: I still feel dirty.

ASHLEY: I think we should just stop by.

SAM: Uh-huh.

ASHLEY: Because who knows--

SAM: It could take a while.

ASHLEY: But if this professor will unlock something--

TRAVIS: ♪ Take a while ♪

ASHLEY: -- that'll really change everything.

LAURA: Or even just to give us a name, somebody else to talk to later on.

SAM: Sure. Sure!

SAM: All right. If I can get through, maybe. I don't think they're going to let us all in. We're a bunch of strange people.

ASHLEY: Aren't we best friends with--

LAURA: Not anymore.

SAM: Well.

LIAM: We don't know, that's kind of a question mark.

LAURA: We do have dirt on her.

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: So.

ASHLEY: Oh, that's right.

TALIESIN: What?

SAM: We also had a crazy story. We tell him the whole story. (laughter)

TALIESIN: CliffNotes, CliffNotes, whatever, yeah.

TRAVIS: I'm here to fix your pool. (laughter)

SAM: We know someone in the seminary who kind of owes us a favor, we kind of owe them a favor. Her name was what again, Carolle?

MATT: Carolle.

LAURA: That's right. Whenever we get a chance, I wanted to have you identify this orb, too, because that's what we stole from that other mage, the guy.

SAM: What was that?

TALIESIN: My only contact in the seminary is about to be discovered as a grifter who's been--

LAURA: You didn't identify the orb.

LIAM: That is porno camera.

MATT: Yeah, the bracers you identified.

TALIESIN: That was Violet, so--

TRAVIS: Oh, okay.

LAURA: Hmm?

MATT: The bracers you took off of him.

LAURA: The bracers we took.

TRAVIS: The scheme is up.

LIAM: But we got the globe--

TALIESIN: Violet is a lot.

LIAM: -- the little glass globe.

LAURA: The orb is what he was shooting lightning from.

LAURA: Or a Cone of Cold or something.

SAM: I won't be able to look at that until tomorrow.

LAURA: That's fine.

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: I just wanted to put it out there so we didn't forget.

SAM: Okay.

MARISHA: You would've loved the fire plane.

TALIESIN: You went to the fucking fire plane?

LAURA: We went to the fire plane. There was lava.

LIAM: Briefly, yeah.

LAURA: I'm sure we'll be back because we're friends with Planerider Ryn now.

LIAM: Yeah, we met some really cool people. Learned a lot more.

ASHLEY: Oh my god, wait until you meet her.

LIAM: We got to go.

LAURA: She's so cool.

TALIESIN: I had a fresh "calzonay." It was really fucking good.

LAURA: Oh.

TALIESIN: It was amazing.

ASHLEY: That sounds delicious.

SAM: That's how they call it in Yios.

ASHLEY: "Calzonay"?

SAM: Yeah.

LIAM: Authentic Yiosan "calzonay."

TALIESIN: I didn't know what else to fucking call it. It was just in my mind. (laughter)

LAURA: We're just going to try to look like students.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: Should some of us wait out here?

LAURA: Just, if you look like you know where you're going, most people don't stop you.

ASHLEY: Who looks like a student?

SAM: Chetney looks like a--

TRAVIS: I'm taking the beanie off because I just got to let this wisdom pour through. It's Professor Pock O'Pea.

SAM: We've got a professor with us.

ASHLEY: We do.

TRAVIS: Adjunct, I think. One of us has tenure.

ASHLEY: Well, I already have a student, so I don't know what--

TRAVIS: You already had a relationship with a student?

TALIESIN: Is this some of that weird porn thing you people were telling you about?

ASHLEY: I already have a student who is excelling tremendously.

SAM: Who's that?

ASHLEY: Laudna.

SAM: Oh, that's right.

MARISHA: True. She's such a good teacher.

LAURA: That's right, you did explode stuff.

MARISHA: I did.

SAM: Well, then, why don't just the three of us go in, or unless others want to come.

LIAM: It's whatever. We want you happy. So you don't freak the fuck out.

TRAVIS: You probably don't need me in there. I'll keep an eye out and be security detail, make sure nobody follows you. You'll be safe, safe.

SAM: Safe. Safety.

TRAVIS: Safe.

ASHLEY: But what happens if we have a problem?

TRAVIS: We kill them.

LAURA: Oh, that's true. I was going to say I have mind control abilities.

MARISHA: (playful yelling)

MATT: (shushing)

MARISHA: What?

MATT: People are talking.

LAURA: Oh, no, it was fine. (laughter)

MARISHA: We were role playing. (laughter)

MARISHA: Sorry.

TRAVIS: I'll stay outside, who's staying with me?

SAM: Who's coming in? You want to come? You don't want to come?

TALIESIN: I'm tired of rooms right now.

SAM: There's stuff for you in there, too, isn't there?

TRAVIS: Ashton and I are outside.

SAM: Yeah, important stuff. Maybe you should at least have a lay of the land in there?

MARISHA: Pick your team.

SAM: The witches, I want the witches.

TRAVIS: Oh, okay.

LAURA: Oh, it's like our date night again.

ASHLEY: Yeah, it is like our date night.

MARISHA and SAM: All right.

ASHLEY: All right, let's go.

SAM: We roll!

MATT: As the four of you are going in, the rest of you are waiting out in the--

TALIESIN: You know, it's only after a break from everybody that you realize how fucking weird this whole group is. (laughter)

TRAVIS: That's fair.

TALIESIN: It's just we're all a lot, man, a lot.

TRAVIS: Maybe we split up outside and we'll just keep eyes on different quadrants.

TALIESIN: Who are we looking for? What are we looking for?

TRAVIS: Oh, can we describe the Ruby Vanguard?

TALIESIN: The what?

TRAVIS: The Ruby Vanguard.

TALIESIN: The Ruby Vanguard?

LAURA: Wait, don't say it so loud.

TALIESIN: (whispering) The Ruby Vanguard.

LIAM: Yes, quiet.

TALIESIN: The Ruby Vanguard?

LIAM: What do you know about the Ruby Vanguard?

TALIESIN: Well, I mean, I don't know the--

SAM: Have you heard of them?

TALIESIN: Well, they were-- I mean, some of the sentries were, I mean, there was some talk, what was it? There was apparently, according to Violet, and then I heard a little bit more about it. There was some Dwendalian motherfuckers coming through town a few weeks ago who were looking for them and trying to rough some fucking--

SAM and MARISHA: Dwendalian?

TALIESIN: Well, yeah, it was like--

SAM: They were Vasselheimian.

TALIESIN: These were some weird Dwendalian-- then they were calling them Ruby Vanguard-y, and they've pissed off every fucking criminal in town, apparently. They were talking about it in the kitchen. It was like all of them.

LIAM: The Vanguard did? Or the Dwendalian folks?

TALIESIN: We kept bringing it up and they kept-- This was apparently the thing that was making everybody fucking on edge. This is also why there was added security to the house that we weren't aware of when we broke in.

LIAM: We got to get out of this city. Why don't you guys go in there and figure out what you can figure out?

TALIESIN: Yeah, and there are Vasselheim people here, too. That's apparently a whole thing that's making people-- everybody's on bloody edge in this town.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, for sure.

TRAVIS: We take up different corners and--

MATT: Okay, just sit tight? Okay. The four of you are going to Kadija or Vitro?

LAURA: Vitro first.

MATT: Okay. So following the directions that you were given by Carolle, you would have to pass through the hall on the inside. The four of you are trying to just walk through with confidence?

ASHLEY: Mm-hmm, yeah.

MATT: I would like you to make a group deception check between the four of you to just put off the air.

LAURA: Guide yourselves.

SAM and ASHLEY: Guidance.

MATT: Okay. (laughs)

TALIESIN: ♪ They've got the look ♪ ♪ that's all together ♪

LAURA: ♪ They've got the look! ♪ (quiet singing)

SAM: Okay, okay, it's a deception? Pretty poor.

MARISHA: 17.

MATT: 17.

SAM: Nine.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Hold on, I'm giving myself guidance. What do I roll, a d4?

SAM: A d4, yeah.

TALIESIN: Put a d4 on it. (laughter)

LAURA: Yasha!

ASHLEY: Cool, 16.

MATT: Okay, 17, nine, 16.

LAURA: 12.

MATT: 12? Okay. Not great, but not dismal.

LIAM: A satyr, a corpse, and a robot walk into a bar. (laughter)

MATT: As you begin to carve through and head to the right down the long hallway that you were previously guided towards. You do see Carolle is currently at the desk, but is in the middle of a conversation. As you dart through, her head turns for a minute, but doesn't find you as you continue pushing down that hall. You breathe a sigh of relief as you continue following these instructions through the long walkway. As you do, you can see there is another pair of professors that are having a conversation, and they both eye your troop, as you begin to walk by and you get a few steps past them before one of them turns, this squat, old dwarf fellow with a balding center of his head and these large, gray-white tufts on the side that go into a long skullet behind, turns around and goes, "Um, excuse me. You look lost."

SAM: We're late for Intro to Tal'Dorei History 1.

MATT: "That's in the southern building."

SAM: They're doing a special class on this side today.

MATT: Make a deception check.

MARISHA: Come on. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Guidance.

LIAM: Whoa.

SAM: Natural 20. (cheering)

MATT: For total of?

SAM: You Guidanced me?

ASHLEY: I did, just in case.

SAM: So that's 21 plus-- this is deception?

MATT: Yes.

SAM: 26.

MATT: 26-- Goes, "Oh, I wasn't aware. My apologies, continue. Strange they're all on this side of the facility." Continues down the hall.

LAURA: Good job!

ASHLEY: Good job, good job, good job.

LAURA: No, no, no, you're fine, you're fine.

ASHLEY: That was really quick thinking on your feet.

SAM: I lied, I lied! (laughter)

MATT: (chainsaw whirring) (laughter)

SAM: Must kill professor.

LAURA: What was the name of the professor again? Sorry.

SAM: Mine is Vitro Isham or Ishan?

MATT: Isham.

SAM: Isham.

MARISHA: They were on the second floor, right?

SAM: Yes, I think it was up and over.

MARISHA: Up and yes.

MATT: Yeah. You follow this pathway and then it leads into a walled-in courtyard where, in the middle of it, there is a brass-roofed two-story structure that goes into a spiral point at the top, like some sort of a crustacean shell that eventually comes to a gradual point. It has this spiral texture to it. It's mostly brass, but you see this patina around the edges and it gives this cool teal coloration to the undersides. You continue to dart through. You go up the next staircase that switches back and forth, goes to the second floor, look around a bit, eventually coming to a door that does read Professor Vitro Isham. There is-- just looking at the door, it is closed. But this definitely has more of an industrial feel to it. Many of the other classrooms you walked by have a nice wooden, carved doorway aesthetic and has this very classic professorial university sense. This area, a lot of rooms you go past feel a little more plain, a little more based in dark irons and steel elements. It reminds you a little bit of some of the facets of Joe's place is Bassuras, just simpler and nicer. But you do see the placard there and the door's closed.

SAM: I'll rap on the door with my hand. (tongue clicking sound)

MATT: "Hello?"

SAM: Wow, this is-- May I come in, Professor? Oh, sorry, Professor Isham? Here to visit.

MATT: (door clunks, creaks) Opens up and this, you now see is a heavy steel door. You get the immediate sense that the inside of this room is reinforced slightly.

TRAVIS: Whoa.

MATT: As the door opens, you immediately see a male firbolg. Looks like he's in his late 30s, early 40s. Very tall and thin, has a soft maroon fur across his face and body, with a thin mohawk of red hair that flops to one side a little bit, wearing these big multi-lensed glasses that have lenses clasped to the sides and folding in the front. These large front teeth that just protrude above the bottom jaw. "Sorry, we're not supposed to let people-- Oh..."

SAM: Hi, smiley day to you, sir.

MATT: "Smiley day to you." (laughter)

MATT: "By what order is this? Oh my goodness."

SAM: We were told that you're an expert in all things automaton.

MATT: "But I am an expert in a lot of things automaton, I don't think all the things, but I'm working on getting better at it. Well, I just was not expecting this sort of an arrival. Hello, you are all with--"

LAURA: With him.

SAM: They're not automatons. They're--

MATT: "I got a bit of a feel for it. You are students of the seminary?"

ASHLEY: As far as we know.

SAM: Students?

LAURA: Huh?

TRAVIS: Are you students?

MATT: "Are you students of the seminary?"

LAURA: Oh, we are students.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: We are studying--

SAM: She's a traveling professor.

ASHLEY: I'm a traveling professor.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: I'm not a professor here, but where I'm from.

LAURA: Really what we're here for is support of our friend here, FCG, who has traveled--

ASHLEY: Yes, it's not about us.

LAURA: -- quite a great distance to meet with you.

TALIESIN: Oh.

MATT: Group deception check.

SAM: Ugh.

MARISHA: Ah, yet again.

MARISHA: Oh, even better.

ASHLEY: Ugh.

SAM: Horrible.

SAM: 11.

MATT: 11.

MARISHA: 22.

MATT: 22.

ASHLEY: Fuck.

TRAVIS: It's already bad.

ASHLEY: 10.

SAM: Fuck 10.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: 16.

MATT: 16, okay.

SAM: Okay, so not abysmal.

LAURA: Not great, not bad.

ASHLEY: Yeah yeah yeah. Not great, not bad.

MATT: "Okay. A professor abroad, very interesting. Why don't we step inside, I'd like to have a conversation with this one."

SAM: Oh, absolutely.

MATT: "FCG, you said?"

SAM: Fresh Cut Grass is what I'm called.

MATT: "Fresh Cut Grass. Wow, that is amazing. Please, come on inside, come on inside. All of you, come on inside."

SAM: Do you want to go to your professor?

LAURA: I mean, I could try.

SAM: You don't have to be here. I mean, I appreciate the support, but maybe you should take the opportunity.

LAURA: Sure. Yeah, go on. I will-- Well, I only-- Yeah, I'll meet you in the front.

MARISHA: Do you want either Fearne or I to go with you? We can two and two it or something?

ASHLEY: Yeah, choose. Make it awkward. Do you want one of us to go with you?

LAURA: Either of you would be--

SAM: You could all go because I think I'm in good hands.

ASHLEY: No, no. No.

LAURA: No. No.

ASHLEY: One of us has to stay. We go as a team.

MARISHA: Fearne, why don't you go--

SAM: Rollies.

MARISHA: -- with Imogen.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: That way, we can message each other.

ASHLEY: Oh, that's a great idea. Okay.

LAURA: That's smart.

SAM: Sorry about that, Professor.

LAURA: I can't send any to you--

MARISHA: You can't send any--

LAURA: But, well--

MARISHA: Should we?

LAURA: But I will-- In your head here, but I'll make a connection right now, so at least for four minutes, we'll be good.

ASHLEY: I think I can message.

LAURA: Teeny little bit.

LAURA: Oh, that's perfect.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: Well, she can message. You can message me, I can message you back, so we can check in every once in a while.

SAM: We can also just walk down a hall and find out, too.

MARISHA: All right. All right.

LAURA: Sort of. Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

LAURA: Worst case, we'll just be in the front.

MARISHA: Just let us know when you get there, what room number, where you are, all those things. In case you need to--

LAURA: Yeah. Oh, and I can also get-- That's right, I can use a point. I can get a spell. I can message you if it gets real hairy.

MARISHA: Okay.

LAURA: All right. In your head you hear all those things because I wouldn't say that in front of--

MATT: I assumed as such.

LAURA: You take care of our friend now. We'll be--

MARISHA: Be safe, I don't trust those academics.

ASHLEY: Things would get real interesting if you slap him. It'll show you a lot about him. Bye!

SAM: Please don't. Please don't. Please don't.

MATT: "They said not to. I will follow what he's telling me. Come on into my facility. Please, please, step on in." He opens the door and you can see--

SAM: This is amazing.

MATT: "Thank you."

TRAVIS: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Utter hovel.

MATT: "You are very much pumping up my self esteem, being what you are. Please." As he walks in you can see he has a set of workshop clothes on, a leather apron, as he opens the door further to see his full frame. He's a scrawny looking dude, but he ushers you in and closes the door behind you. On the inside, you can see there are sets of seats. This is definitely a classroom where many students would sit in bleacher arranged rows on one side of the chamber. The other side of it has a number of workshop tables laid out, and there are chains with hooks hanging from the ceiling, you can see there's all manner of pulleys and ropes. There are tools aligned on the wall of all sorts of odd makes. Some you recognize, some you definitely do not. Many of them you have from your experience in Imahara Joe's place definitely see similarities in how his workshop is arranged and elements of what's available here. You can see there are materials, there are chunks of stone that are partially carved with runes that lay unassembled. You can see there are metallic joints, and from many of the automatons that you've encountered in your life, you can see similarities in the shell structure of a torso, of an arm, and a number of arcane power cores that are hanging and set in shelf units put off to the side. This is definitely an observational classroom slash workshop.

SAM: And in him giving us a tour around, can I get a sense, an insight of if he's a good fellow or not?

MATT: Make an insight check.

SAM: Okay. Eight.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: A fellow in good standing.

MATT: Yeah. I mean, he seems excited to see you.

SAM: Great.

MATT: "Very well. Well, you have my attention. You pulled me away from my lunch break, but--"

MARISHA: Oh, sorry.

MATT: "Oh, it's okay, I can get to it later. Don't worry."

TRAVIS: I'm feeling Nosferatu vibes. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Yes, yes.

TRAVIS: It's so good.

MATT: "But if you're looking for me, and knowing what you are--"

SAM: I don't want to waste your time.

MATT: "This is not a waste of my time, this is a great opportunity."

SAM: It's an opportunity for me, too. I'll tell him a brief abridged history of my memory of how I was created, Dancer, Imahara Joe.

MATT: "Oh yes. Joe, I know."

SAM: Oh, you know Joe?

MATT: "Yes, it's been some time since we've interfaced, but we send letters and give recommendations. He's one of the greatest minds of automaton and arcane locomotion in Marquet. Though it would seem maybe he could be better used in more-- How do I put it? Official capacities. But I understand he wants to maintain good business, and I don't disrespect it at all, so I'm just glad to have the connection. But I am the professor here of independent arcane locomotion, I'm also professor of abjuration and enchantment implementation and automaton engineering. So Professor Vitro Isham at your service."

SAM: That's exactly what I need. I've been trying to find answers about what I was created for. Honestly, I feel like in order to move forward with this life that I have I need to know what I've done because if I've done bad things, I kind of want to know that.

MATT: "Well then, let me take a look at you."

SAM: Okay.

MATT: "If you are okay with it."

SAM: Absolutely, please.

MATT: "Might be a bit uncomfortable poking around, but I will make sure you're comfortable."

SAM: What-ing around?

MATT: "Poking around."

SAM: Oh okay.

MARISHA: I fucking thought it was as well. (laughter)

MARISHA: I heard something else, too.

SAM: Sorry, it's just the--

ASHLEY: I don't know how he's still doing those voices.

SAM: The lips--

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: "Sorry. Something in the teeth? Anyway."

TRAVIS: "Something in the teeth."

SAM: Yes, please poke-- Laudna, if this makes you uncomfortable, I know that--

MARISHA: No.

SAM: -- gross things freak you out a little bit, so just turn away.

MATT: "Well, feel free to pay attention, this is a free workshop."

SAM: Oh they're-- They've left, they've left.

MARISHA: They've left, they've left.

MATT: "Oh, never mind. Where'd they go? They're gone, okay. Well, you can stay."

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: Brings you over to the center of the chamber, brings down two of the chained hooks and affixes them to the inside of your shoulder joints there.

MATT: "That all right? Do they feel okay?"

SAM: I don't feel a thing.

MATT: "Perfect, perfect."

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: He gets to the back and begins cranking and it starts lifting you up.

SAM: That's some pressure.

MATT: He lifts you about three or so feet off the ground, you're hanging there freely. Comes back to you, changes the lenses in his glasses. "Do you mind if I open the car-- the chassis?"

SAM: I'm sorry, the what?

MATT: "The carapace, the chassis."

SAM: Yes, you may open the chassis.

MATT: "Thank you very much." Goes ahead and pulls out a small grapple tool.

MARISHA: Professor.

MATT: "Oh, yes? What is your name, by the way?"

MARISHA: Oh (laughs) sorry. I'm Laudna.

MATT: "Student Laudna, pleasure."

MARISHA: Student Laudna, that's me. He's a bit stressed out today.

SAM: Oh yes.

MARISHA: So, and bad things happen when he reaches his limits, so just be gentle.

SAM: I may have been created as an assassin thousands of years ago and I've been known to do violent things, so just protect you, maybe wear eye protection, just protect yourself.

MARISHA: His eyes go red.

SAM: Oh, you know what? Laudna, take my-- I'll disconnect my saw blade--

MARISHA: Oh. Yes.

SAM: -- and all my other weapon arms and--

MATT: As you're pulling out all these different-- He's like, "Very interesting series of accompaniments." "All right, all right."

MARISHA: I'll just put these over here.

MATT: "Well, let's take a look." Lifts and pulls open the front of your chest cavity once more, very similar to how Imahara Joe was looking through you. Begins looking through some of the interiors, he goes, "Oh, this very much confirms some of my suspicions. You are a Aeormaton. Specifically, I think I see you are a Harmonious Aeormaton."

SAM: Harmonious?

MATT: "Harmonious Aeormaton. It was a very particular design of the old Arcanum city. They were designed-- They were? You were. Sorry, I need to be inclusive, this is what you are. You were designed as peace keepers and diplomatic associates."

SAM: Peace keepers?

MATT: "Yes, often used as guides and communicators throughout the ancient city."

SAM: But I was under the impression that I was built, constructed to be some sort of a Trojan horse, a false--

MATT: "Well, if you were part of this specific part in the history, then that is possible." Sits there and thinks for a second. "Now, I've heard rumors of Aeormatons emerging in recent years, but none have come through Yios before. This is a rare treat. The event I'm speaking of is called the Care and the Culling. Now, I've heard of this event--"

SAM: The Care and the Culling.

MATT: "-- in which a number of Aeormatons were altered to turn on their companions as a gift. It was largely made as political gifts from Aeor to their rivals. Then all in one day they just turned around and murdered or attempted to murder the person they were given to. So it caused a large shift in the Aeorian dominance during the age. If that is what you are, I will be extra special and careful." Continues to still look through, and it feels a little strange especially since he starts getting to the deep undercore that Imahara Joe stopped at. He goes, "Oh. Oh wow." Pulls his head out. "This might be a little uncomfortable. Let me know if I need to stop at any time."

SAM: No please, I need to know.

MATT: "All right."

SAM: Even if I scream, just keep going.

MATT: "No, I will stop. I will stop."

SAM: No, please keep going.

MATT: "No, I distinctly cannot allow myself to do that. I am a man of, well, arcane novice, I guess you could say. All right, let's get in here." He starts--

LAURA: How are you doing that?

MATT: What? (laughter)

ASHLEY: I don't know how you still think of something new.

LAURA: It's like I can see them.

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: It's so good.

TALIESIN: Once you hit the center of the earth, if you keep going it's just more--

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

TALIESIN: -- there's more soil there's no bottom. (laughter)

MATT: Reaches in and you start feeling this spark, like (electric sparking) a weird tension. He's like, "Do you feel that?"

SAM: Yeah. Yeah, I do. Yep.

MATT: "All right, I found--"

SAM: (coughs)

MATT: "Sorry." (laughter)

MATT: "All right."

MARISHA: Oh no.

MATT: "You are fitted with quite the unique arcane power accumulator. I will be very honest with you."

SAM: Arcane power accumulator.

MATT: "Yes. It is far larger--

SAM: Okay.

MATT: "-- than what is needed for an Aeormaton of your size, which might very well confirm the fact that you were either altered or created for this The Care and the Culling event. Are you able to access any arcana yourself?"

SAM: Yes, I am, and I don't know how I'm able to. I have many powers, some healing, but also many that are destructive.

MATT: "Destructive makes sense. Healing, that is a bit confusing. I do not recall any of the Harmonious Aeormatons in that specific event that have healing powers, but it's possible. I mean, all the history books are not entirely fully fleshed out."

SAM: Could it be that I was programmed with those capabilities to trick or fool someone to let me closer to their--

MATT: "It's possible." (mechanical click) You feel this tension release.

SAM: Ah! ♪ Moon river ♪ (laughter)

MATT: "Okay, okay. Okay." You watch as he pulls out from inside your chest, still attached through a series of these cables with arcane tethers--

SAM: A hamster in a wheel.

MATT: Yes. (laughter)

MATT: -- that are giving these little pulses of light that are leading up inside--

SAM: Whoa.

MATT: -- this large sphere of deep blue, light purple color, this glow of arcane energy that's (pulsating energy).

LAURA: You said it's deep blue?

MATT: It's like a deep blue-purple coloration. It looks very much like some of the arcane cores that you've seen used in other automatons and throughout Imahara Joe's shop, but it's different. It looks stranger, there's an intricacy to the mooring and the metal elements that hold it in place. You watch it as he holds it very carefully and goes, "I think that this be part of the source for your abilities, your powers. But I would caution, this could be unstable due to age or damage and most arcane accumulators when ruptured can detonate, in an extremely destructive degree. Perhaps it was installed as a fail safe? I don't know. But just don't--"

SAM: A fail safe, you mean it's not necessary to my function?

MATT: "Well, this is necessary to your function, but also if it was to be overcharged with too much arcane power--"

SAM: Oh, I see, a fail safe to destruct--

MATT: "-- you take out most of this building. So, we're going to go ahead and put this back."

SAM: Oh, I'm a bomb.

MATT: "We're going to put this back. We're going to very carefully put this back." Goes ahead and puts it back up in your body like.

SAM: Oh boy.

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

MATT: "Okay."

TRAVIS: You got a dead man switch.

MATT: "All right, so good news, good news. It does not appear to be ruptured at all. So that is very good. There's no leaking of power or energy, there's nothing you need to worry about being jostled too much and then kablooey. It's, sorry, my apologies. No need to worry. It's very safe, just don't go fiddling with it. Don't be connecting outside arcane terminals or anything. It will cause a bad thing."

SAM: Like boom bad?

MATT: "Probably. But I say, it's just an observation."

SAM: Huh. So you know where I'm from and when I'm from and possibly my original design, but I've been modified to do something else?

MATT: "That is what I'm thinking is what mostly happened at that time."

SAM: I can only remember a couple years back, though. Do you know how my memories are stored or if there's a way to access them, or--?

MATT: "See, the problem is-- Not problem, but the challenge is the enchantment technology, the incantations that were utilized in the creation of Aeormatons were specific to Aeor and they were lost with the city. No one can make, as far as I understand, new beings like you. You are very special. You're from a time in which this secret was known and utilized, but that time has passed. You are both a relic of history and a very unique, special person." "and a very unique, special person."

MARISHA: So you're a person!

SAM: That's what they keep saying.

MATT: "I think they might have a point there. I mean--" (laughter)

MATT: "But yes, as a person who has studied some of this history, a lot of Aeormatons worked very hard during that period of time to establish themselves as equals amongst their creators. There was a long period of Aeorian history in which they were just considered servants. There was, as much as Aeor gets a lot of negative information written about it, and rightly so, there was also a beauty in some of what they made, yourself very included, so you should not be unfair to where you came from. There are many, and I mean this because I've had my own challenges in the past. There are many people in Exandria that maybe weren't that good in their early years, but you're not defined by what you are told your purpose was. You carve your own path."

SAM: Okay.

MATT: "Besides, if you don't really have memories of anything before that, then that's really not who you are."

SAM: I suppose so. That's scary, though.

MATT: "Yeah. Being alive is very scary."

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: "Being conscious, free will. Frightening. But also, worth everything."

SAM: I wish... I mean, it would be way easier if you were just to tell me that I was made to kill, and that's my purpose, or made to heal and that's my purpose. But if I got to find my own purpose, that's... That's harder.

MATT: "You're not wrong. I wish I could offer you that sort of solace, but you're more beautiful than a simple binary answer."

SAM: This is a good guy.

MARISHA: He's a very good guy. And he's-- He's right. Listen to him.

SAM: Yeah. All right. Well, you know, I want to make sure that you get something for your time and I don't know if there's anything I can leave with you, or a favor to do.

MATT: "No, believe me, even the opportunity to tinker around inside a living Aeormaton at this time is a huge honor. I will be making a series of very important notes for future classes based on this interaction. So I'm very, very thankful."

SAM: And you haven't seen anyone else like me?

MATT: "Like you? No."

SAM: Okay. If you ever do, I don't know.

MATT: "I could send you a letter. Where could I get in touch with you?"

SAM: Boy. How would he? Eshteross' house?

MARISHA: I guess so. Maybe the sky port?

SAM: But we might not ever go back there. I guess he would send a letter to Lord Eshteross.

MATT: "Lord Eshteross. Okay."

SAM: I mean, he's dead, but he's still going to--

LAURA: At his house, it could be taken by somebody else. I don't know who the hell's going to--

SAM: Where else are we going to go? I guess I could do. You know what? I'll do Ashton's place.

TALIESIN: Mail doesn't get delivered to where we live.

LAURA: Zhudanna's house.

SAM: She could die any second. But sure. We'll do Zhudanna.

ASHLEY: Or the Hollow, the Fownsee Hollow.

SAM: The what?

ASHLEY: The place that the--

SAM: Oh. Yeah, but they-- He said.

LAURA: Fire by Spire. The Spire by Fire.

SAM: The Spire by Fire. (laughs)

MATT: "Lord Eshteross at the Spire by Fire."

SAM: Sure.

LIAM: Higher, lower! Higher, lower, lower! 550 dollars.

TALIESIN: My house is a squat. Just to be clear, where I live is a squat. It is a squatter's den. There is no mail.

SAM: We don't have a home.

TALIESIN: It'll get stolen.

MARISHA: We have an air ship.

SAM: That doesn't get mail there. How are we going to register to vote?

MARISHA: I don't know. (laughter)

MARISHA: These are exciting problems, FCG.

LAURA: You can also send him a message every once in a while, just to check in.

SAM: That's true. I could send you a message to check every once in a while. So maybe I'll do that.

MATT: "Yeah, please. You know where to find me. Just write letter, send them this way. They'll get them to me."

MARISHA: Professor?

MATT: "Yes?"

MARISHA: I feel like Ashton is-- or Ashton is not here. I feel like FCG is very humble. But he's more than just an arcane healer. He's also an emotional healer. They're a very good--

SAM: I try.

MARISHA: They're a very good person. I just. I don't want to speak for you, but--

SAM: No, feel free.

MARISHA: I think you're right in your assessment and that they're-- they're quite wonderful.

MATT: "Very good. That is very nice to hear. Many people out there just look at automatons and see them as tools, see them as a means to an end. I don't know. There is artistry in the creation. To be honest, I've always been fascinated with that next level of autonomy. There are some that toy with it, and they've gotten close to the secret, but not quite the same level of perfection that you represent."

SAM: Gosh. I'm blushing over here.

MATT: "Just being honest. This is a huge day for me. I appreciate it."

SAM: Well, thank you for your time. I would be remiss if I didn't ask you one more question. I want to get over to what Imogen is doing soon. But, if it doesn't take long, and if you have the tools and capabilities.

MATT: "Yes?"

SAM: Could I make one quick request?

MATT: "By all means."

SAM: It seems like I have this energy source within me.

MATT: "Right, right."

SAM: It makes some heat. There's heat in there.

MATT: "Yes, yes. It builds up the energy backup and it can create."

SAM: I was wondering if you could make some sort of an opening, an access point. Not to get to the energy source, but a safe compartment, small. But it could harness and access that heat, and possibly, over time, bake things.

MATT: "Oh!"

ASHLEY: An Easy Bake Oven.

SAM: An Easy Bake Oven.

MATT: "I have not considered this. This is--

TALIESIN: Difficult Bake Oven.

MATT: "Yes, that will not be a difficult thing to do whatsoever."

SAM: Just like a 40-watt light bulb, cooking something for eight hours that's this big.

MATT: "Let's give it a shot."

SAM: All right.

ASHLEY: Bing!

MATT: (crank turning) Pulls you back up and pulls out the tools.

TRAVIS: Hot pepperoni. (laughter)

MATT: "It won't take too long."

LAURA: Why did I think you were going to ask for some sort of--

SAM: Teledildonic device?

LAURA: Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly what I thought it was going to be.

SAM: That would be on brand.

TRAVIS: Yeah. (laughter)

MATT: Oh my god.

MARISHA: Teledildonic.

SAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: You even have that?

TALIESIN: The thing is, is it functional--

MATT: That is a phrase, is a term I've never heard.

TALIESIN: -- or anatomically correct?

SAM: Teledildonic device?

MATT: I have not, but now--

SAM: A teledildonic device for those who--

MATT: No, I get it. I figured it out.

TRAVIS: I need to know what it is.

SAM: It's a dildo that you control over the internet.

TRAVIS: Oh, that's great.

SAM: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Like with Bluetooth?

ASHLEY: Yeah, a Bluetooth sitch.

SAM: I guess you could do Bluetooth. I haven't. I've only done the old fashioned kind.

TRAVIS: Oh, okay. (laughter)

SAM: Wi-fi. (laughter)

TRAVIS: 3G.

SAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Edge.

MATT: They sell packages with the game Res on eBay. (laughter)

MATT: Anyway. Sure enough, seems eager for the alteration, and has the tools to do so, and it won't take too long.

MARISHA: Fresh light.

SAM: Uh-huh.

MATT: Oh my god. Stop it!

ASHLEY: Oh wow. Good--

MATT: Stop it. (laughter)

ASHLEY: There it is.

LIAM: Letters is starting to rage. (laughter)

TRAVIS: You start to (whirring). (laughter)

MATT: God. Okay. So you are getting your alteration of your Easy Bake Oven underway.

SAM: Sure, sure. Mm-hmm.

MATT: Imogen and Fearne, what are you doing?

LAURA: We are going to--

MARISHA: Fresh light.

LAURA: -- find Kadija Sumal's office.

MATT: Okay. You didn't get specifics as to where she was. So you can begin to look throughout the halls and find your way. So I'd like you both to make a perception or investigationer check.

MARISHA: ♪ Finding their way ♪

TRAVIS: Wow.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: Investigationer check. Yes, please.

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

ASHLEY: What did you say? Investigation or perception?

MATT: Correct.

LAURA: 17 for me.

MATT: Okay. Is that investigation or perception?

LAURA: Guide yourself. That's investigation.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Guiding myself.

MATT: Investigation has a lower DC, so.

ASHLEY: Come on. Big money. Big money. Yes. Okay. Plus-- Sorry, sorry, sorry. Why can't I do math?

LAURA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: 22, sorry.

MATT: That's okay. No. (laughter)

MATT: We got there. We got there.

LIAM: That was a cliffhanger.

ASHLEY: I had a brain fart.

TRAVIS: That was just an investigation check, right?

ASHLEY: That was weird. Yeah. I was looking at investigation, but my perception's higher. So I was like--

LAURA: Oh, well, why don't you do perception?

ASHLEY: I did. I did, I did.

LAURA: You did perception?

ASHLEY: Yeah, I did, I did. That's as high as I got, 22.

LAURA: Okay, so yours was a perception and mine was an investigation.

ASHLEY: With Guidance.

MATT: Gotcha. Great! So it doesn't take too long, the better part of about 20 minutes of carefully skulking through halls, passing by doorways, looking for any sort of emblems or placards that state different offices or classrooms. Many of them are just classrooms. They're labeled specific names, a title. The Atheneum, The Shell Rock, they're all themed, but not specifically to anything that connotates what the classes are about that you can make out.

ASHLEY: I don't know what any of that means.

LAURA: Yeah, me neither.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: You do, after passing the main halls and the cluster of various lecture halls, you go towards the back of the main building, far behind where the clerk desks were and away from the building that you had left the two of them at. You do manage to find some offices, one that is marked with Sumal. The door is closed.

LAURA: Look around. (knocking on door)

MATT: Nobody responds.

MARISHA: Oh shit.

LAURA: I really thought that he was going to say something.

ASHLEY: Me too. He had that look on his face.

LAURA: (knocking on door) Professor?

MATT: "I'm working on something right now. There is-- No classes today."

LAURA: This is not in regards to your class.

ASHLEY: Something you'll really want to hear.

SAM and TALIESIN: (laugh)

TALIESIN: That's never suspicious.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: "Please go away. I'm working."

LAURA: I understand that. This is in regards to an essay you wrote quite a while ago. I've traveled quite a distance to talk to you.

MATT: "Set an appointment up at the front desk. Next time I have an opening, you can come in and we can talk. But I'm currently busy with work."

ASHLEY: Hey, this has to do with some Ruidusborn shit. So I think you should open the door. (scattered laughter)

TALIESIN: Candygram. (laughter)

MATT: There's a long--

LIAM: I'm just a satyr-gram.

MATT: -- 30 second pregnant pause before you hear (locks unlatching). Seven locks unlock on the door before (squeaks). Peeking through, you see just the left hand side of an older female orc. What looks to be a cluster of a dozen or so thick braids that are gathered, and tied with a ribbon around the back of her head and they go down the back to the middle of her back. Dark brown eyes, and the gray-green skin, and bags under her eyes, and wearing a standard professorial robe over non-formal clothes. Looks through the door. "Get inside." Opens the door.

LAURA: What's the name of your guy?

LIAM: Ebenold Kai.

LAURA: Ebenold.

ASHLEY: Hi.

MATT: Closes it. You walk inside. Now you can see this dark--

ASHLEY: Do you want me to lock these back up?

MATT: "If you could, lock them up, please." She moves around to the back of her desk, where she was sitting beforehand. There is a window that leads out, but the curtains are drawn on it. There's two oil lanterns sitting on the edge of the desk, that have these flames loosely flickering. Shelves filled with books and papers and writing implements and little baubles and knickknacks that look like they have either some personal significance, or some significance to past research that you can't quite pinpoint the connection. But she sits down at the table. "All right, you have my attention. What-what-what are you talking about?"

LAURA: In her head, she hears: Have the Judicators come looking for you yet?

MATT: She immediately, hearing your voice in the head, has this moment of shock and recognition, and then steels her face, returns in her own head towards you, in response to you. Not through her pushing into your mind, but just receiving it. "No, no. They have not come through here, thankfully. I have done my best to just be a professor."

LAURA: We were with Professor Kai recently.

LAURA: We were with Professor Kai recently.

MATT: "Recently?"

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: "Good, good. It's been a couple of weeks since we've connected. Where-where-where did you see him?

LAURA: I'm not going to say just in case anything happens.

MATT: "Okay, okay, okay."

ASHLEY: But he's safe.

MATT: "Okay. Okay, okay."

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: "I can obviously tell that you are one of the Ruidusborn."

LAURA: Liliana Temult was my mother, is my mother.

MATT: She gets-- At this point she's been like, her eyes darting around the room a little bit. Now she gets a really good look at you and goes, "Yes. Yes, yes, she is. Okay."

LAURA: What could you tell me about her?

MATT: "Oh, she... She was very helpful in the creating of a particular project of mine and a few colleagues. We were... We were spearheading a research study. She was one of our first major breakthroughs. She came to us, actually. Or was recommended to us through people who knew of our research, and really opened the door for a lot of the things that we were theorizing and trying to figure out." You get this slightly manic, paranoid, but studious energy to her. You don't get put off by her, but you get the feeling both from her physicality and her current appearance that she's been living under a growing worry for some time. She looks at you both, trying to ascertain how much she can trust. I'll have you both make a persuasion check to represent your essence of presentation within the chamber.

LAURA: Oof.

LIAM: Oh, that's super cocked.

LAURA: Super duper. Nine.

MATT: What is it?

LAURA: Nine.

MATT: Nine?

ASHLEY: 18.

MATT: 18.

LAURA: How trustworthy does she look? She's so trustworthy.

ASHLEY: You can trust us.

LAURA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: You can totally trust us.

MATT: "There was an archive that we were assembling." Looks at Fearne for a second. Looks at the door. Looks at the window. "We called it the Omen Archive."

MARISHA: Oh.

SAM: Mm-hmm.

MATT: "Along with Ebenold and some compatriots that are no longer part of this project, we began to compile this. It was a full studious breakdown of every major historical figure that we knew of who was Ruidusborn, as well as a collection of information about numerous modern Ruidusborn. This archive expanded this. We began to notice the exponential increasing number of Ruidusborn in recent generations. As that began to grow, I began to move onto studies of recurring similar themes in possibly shared dreams and the astronomical mystery of the Ruidian flare." She's looking to see if there's any signs of recognition in you.

LAURA: I mean, we heard as much from... I remember his name. Shit, what was the guy's name in the city with the telescope?

ASHLEY: Oh.

MATT: Oh, in the Heartmoor Hamlet?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: That was--

SAM: The Nightmare King?

LAURA: No, no, no, no, no.

MATT: No, the older retired professor.

LIAM: Who sent us to Ebenold Kai. That was-- No, Estani.

MATT: Estani, thank you.

LAURA: Estani, That's right.

MATT: Yeah. Roe Estani.

LAURA: We visited Roe Estani, and--

MATT: "Oh, I haven't seen him in some time. Is he okay?"

LAURA: When we left him, yes.

MATT: "Okay. I heard there was some violence by where he was staying."

LAURA: There was.

MATT: "Okay, um. So the Exaltant, as we called them, were the Ruidusborn with the most fascinating anomalies. Your mother was the first we encountered."

LAURA: Wow.

MATT: "She came to us asking questions, looking for answers. We were looking for more answers to more questions. It was cracking open a much bigger thing than we all were anticipating to follow. For a long time, Ruidus was just assumed to be a superstition. Ruidusborn, as a phrase, used as a sort of... a means of othering people. Maybe there is something to that, now that we know that there is a connection, or at least with some. There isn't a big history of Exaltants, maybe a handful through history. But the number of recent ones has grown. We counted at least 12 in the years that we were studying. We assume there were more, but we began to have to hide our studies and openness. There was lot of questions from people we didn't know, a lot of outside individuals who were prodding about our research, and I don't trust that."

LAURA: Do you know if Otohan Thull is an Exaltant as well?

MATT: "Otohan was one of our last-- Our last Exaltant research subject. They were-- They came in on their own accord to inquire. They seemed to already kind of-- it's hard to explain, like they already knew what we were doing."

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "They just kept asking a lot of questions. We did a few of our tests. We began to look for the limitations of their abilities, and at a certain point it just began to get more uncomfortable and we stopped. They seemed unhappy with the limitations of what we were allowing to impart upon her. Well, that was when we, the Verity--" She looks again for a point of recognition.

ASHLEY: We know what that is.

MATT: "The Grim Verity, we began to hide our movements. She couldn't make a scene here in the middle of the seminary, but some of our members who were offsite and not under such protections began to disappear. So we scattered. I was questioned a couple of times but said that I absolved myself of any of this and have been working hard to just maintain an air of an on retirement's path professor here. Anyway, sorry. That got off topic there. So the Exaltant, like your mother."

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: "They were the first to exhibit these special abilities. They were also the first to speak of the Reilora."

SAM: Wait, the who?

LAURA: What is that?

MARISHA: New word, new word.

SAM: New word.

MATT: "So some of the Exaltants as well as near-Exaltant Ruidusborn, at least those very strong dreams, who were older and maybe had been finding ways to connect more often. These dreams, they involved walking on dust storms and what felt like it was on Ruidus' surface. They were meeting other Ruidusborn within this landscape, within shared dreams--

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: "-- and some of them began meeting a collection of entities."

MARISHA: Oh shit.

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: "Crimson beings that refer to themselves as the Reilora. They were first believed to be dream state beings outside of our standard cosmology. They spoke without words, presenting riddles and asking for alliance or subversion. It was an extreme curiosity, but also kind of an anomalous portent. The further we pushed into our research and we began to pull back a little bit, so. Well." She looks at the door again, looks at the window. "It's been long theorized that the flares were a way for these Reilora to tether or connect themselves with Exandrians. At the point of birth, they would essentially mark them or find a way to reach out to someone or find a way to reach out to someone upon them entering these planes and then holding that tether. Then those dreams would start coming. So your mother was one of the very connected who could speak with and try and interpret and communicate these communications with the Reilora."

LAURA: Do you know how long she'd been having the dreams before the Reilora appeared to her?

MATT: "Well, she came to us about, I want to say 10 years ago. But she had been long wandering before that--"

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "-- trying to find answers. When she came to us, she had been all over Marquet. She had been beyond that and eventually came to us when she was sent to our research, which we had only been doing a short time. Regardless, these Reilora, their intelligence was hard to understand and we have no concept of their morality, and that's where we began to pull back from pushing towards these communications. Our studies became more about finding proof beyond these dreams in hope of saving lives, seeing if there is some good to come from this or ending it. So that was some of what we were doing. This..." She loses train of thought. "I'm sorry, what do you need? What other questions do you have? I'm talking too much."

LAURA: My mother, I think, had the ability to push herself into other people's dreams.

MATT: "Yeah, she was beginning to develop that when we told her to pull back because of the Reilora communications."

LAURA: Did you help her with that ability? How did she--

MATT: "We guided her through it. We had many specific induced dream sessions within the seminary to try and push to whatever limits there might have been. It was incredible, the progress, but it became too worrying. There's only so far you can push into the unknown before the unknown begins pushing back."

LAURA: Right.

ASHLEY: Did you ever reach any sort of limitation with any of your test subjects?

MATT: "Many of them grew scared and just did not want to be part of the studies anymore. We helped them keep it at bay, found ways to soothe before sleep to try and avoid the dreams. Whether it be based on music and specific kinds of tea, focusing on good memories before they went to bed, whatever we could try to offset these dreams. I am uncertain how effective they were, as many of our subjects didn't return. We've checked into them and they're still living their lives for the best we've known in recent years, at least. But..."

LAURA: Well, they're probably with Otohan at this point.

ASHLEY: Are these Reilora friendly? Did you get to--

MATT: "Some seemed to be. They were of varying materials. Some were solid flesh in dreams, others were made up of some sort of energy. Yes, they were intelligent, alien, always in a crimson hue that was similar to the landscape that these dreams took place in. Some enticed with promise, others intimidated or demanded the dreamer. Others still brought empathy and comfort. It was a spectrum, which made it confusing. At times, based on the interactions, we would continue to try and engage, but not always the same entities would respond. Sometimes the kind ones would not come back, and the aggressive ones would continue to take over."

LAURA: Hmm.

MATT: "It's a odd spectrum, and they speak wordlessly with imagery and emotions."

LAURA: A lot of... Yeah.

MATT: "Anyway. We, the Verity, have been a bit scattered in recent months. There are other things at work and we're doing our best within our network to do what we can. But we're up against some very dangerous interests. So if you are caught up in all of this, it's best that you leave."

LAURA: I don't think that's an option, but thank you. I do get the dreams as well. I would love if you had any kind of ability, any tips you could give me to help me push back, if you've discovered anything at all.

MATT: "Let me..." She goes up to one of the shelves and starts going through books, books, books. Pulls one down.

SAM: Mm.

LIAM: Special books.

MATT: Opens the book. The book is hollow.

SAM: (gasps)

MATT: Takes a key out of the book.

TALIESIN: Ooh! Puts it back on the shelf.

MARISHA: Cool.

LIAM: A very special book.

LAURA: (laughs)

LAURA: Keys, keys, keys, keys.

MATT: Goes to where her desk is, and pushes the desk forward about a foot.

LIAM: Pulls out another book. (laughter)

MATT: There is a small latch and a six-inch by six-inch door, a trap door underneath where the desk was. She unlocks it--

LIAM: Slick.

MATT: -- opens it up, looks at the door--

MARISHA: Now it's like an Escape Room.

MATT: -- looks at the window--

LAURA: I know.

MATT: -- looks at you.

SAM: It's a dildo. (laughter)

TALIESIN: It was going so well tonight.

LIAM: Come on. Come on. (laughter)

MARISHA: Teledildo--

SAM: Teledildonic.

MATT: Suddenly the stress becomes too much, FCG. (laughter)

MATT: Pulls up a thick leather-wrapped something.

MATT: Pulls up a thick leather-wrapped something. Sets it on the desk, opens it up, and there's a stack of pages, like vellum that are torn.

LIAM: (gasps) The text.

MARISHA: (gasps)

LAURA: No

MARISHA: Are they the texts?

LAURA: No!

MATT: What?

LIAM: Nothing.

MATT: She goes--

SAM: (pigeon coos)

MATT: "So the archive was taken not long ago. We knew it was in danger of being stolen by some of these individuals that have malaligned interests in our research. So I removed a number of pages from all the texts that I'd left behind. I think I may have some notes based on this work here." She begins reading through and checking through the pages. Every few pages, she looks up at the door, looks at the window, looks back down. Starts reading through. "All right, here are some notes from--"

TALIESIN: New cookie recipe.

MATT: "-- from the last sleep session we did with Liliana."

LAURA: Wow.

MARISHA: Dream journal.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: "She preferred violin music, so we had a violinist within our staff that we brought in for these sessions. There was a particular, kind of like a lavender vanilla scent that she enjoyed that helped get her into a mindful state. We beg--" All the locks on the door (unlatching).

LIAM: Ooh.

LAURA: Shit.

SAM: Wait, what?

MARISHA: Wait, what?

SAM: The door closed on its own or opened?

MATT: The door was closed. All locks (unlatching).

SAM: They open?

MATT: She goes, and moves some pages. The door opens.

LAURA: Wait, you're standing against the door?

ASHLEY: I'm just standing just in the doorway to try to just distract and be big and fluffy.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: We're trying a new cookie recipe.

MATT: So you stand in the doorway and you flex and you turn, and standing there in the doorway, you see--

MARISHA: It's a big Judicator.

MATT: -- an older-looking elven man.

LIAM: Goddamn it!

SAM: No!

MATT: With long, white-silver hair.

SAM: No!

MATT: Long blue, gold, silver robes.

ASHLEY: Hello.

MATT: Jewelry. "Oh, hello."

ASHLEY: Hi. What are-- Sorry, we were just in the middle of something.

MATT: "That's all right. I'm here to speak with the professor, if you don't mind."

ASHLEY: Can you just wait like five minutes?

MARISHA: Not good.

MATT: "No." And that's where we're going to take a break. (exclaiming) (laughter)

ASHLEY: Woof!

LIAM: Oh man.

TRAVIS: Maybe it's just a pizza delivery guy.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe it's--

SAM: Did someone order a pizza?

MARISHA: Dressed as Ludinus? (laughter)

TALIESIN: I'm sorry, we're at 28 minutes, and if I wait anymore, it will be--

TRAVIS and TALIESIN: -- free. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Okay. Okay.

SAM: Oh shit.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: So we'll be right here in a few minutes after our break.

My name's Aabria Iyengar, I'm playing Sestia. She is a Half-Elf, Circle of Stars Druid. Very, ooh, I was gonna say space case, and then I got grossed out by it, but she is, So, oops. I love these mixed casters, that ability to kind of do both in battle. I tend to play a lot of just pure spell casters. And after running a couple games earlier in the summer, I realized I struggled mightily to put any damage on a Druid. So I decided today, here and now was my turn to be 'stronk'. And I have built a character that is so good at casting a spell and running off the map. I think I'm Druid-ing wrong, but it feels good, feels right. And I really like the omens and portents idea of, yeah, you look to the stars, you get this divine sense of being able to do a little bit of mechanical control in this kind of creepy way. And then adding the lucky feat on top of it. It's fun playing with the how do you narratively wrap in this idea of doing mechanical pluses and minuses and affecting the mechanics of the game and integrating that into the story that we're telling. So I got very excited about that and it's been so satisfying the entire time. (mystical music) Gods above us. Dragons attacking together! It's like the end of the world! And what exactly is the plan against four dragons? Fuck shit up! This is gonna be fun! I am very flammable! How about we get a drink? I hope you fall into lava, asshat! Oh, that's a new record. Usually it takes us ten minutes to get kicked out of a palace. Vox Machina. These weapons were created to strike down the gods. Find them to defeat the dragons. I got a beard! -We pissed it off. -We do have that effect on people. We're trying to save the world! Look out! You are super fucked up. That's new. We need to get inside that dragon. Through a mouth full of acid? No way. The other way. Oh god. The Legend of Vox Machina premieres January 20th only on Prime Video. My balls are ice cubes. -What are you-- -Don't you worry. -Uncle Groggy is going to keep you warm. -I hate th-- I-- This is actually kind of cozy. A bounce, a bounce, a bounce, a go. Hey Critters! Laura Bailey here to guide you through what's new in the Critical Role shop. You need this? You probably need this. (gasp) Could anything be more perfect? Look at this. Isn't it fashion? So much fashion happening here. Style should never be a dump stat, darling. I mean the Traveler always says impulse purchases are a good decision. Go ahead, darling. Treat yourself. And hey if you want, you could head over to the Critical Role shop right now. Tal'Dorei Campaign Setting Reborn, the definitive 5e source book that brings the land of Tal'Dorei to your game. Rediscover the land of Critical Role's Vox Machina with nine dazzling subclasses, five rich backgrounds, and dozens of new creatures, feats, and magic items, The future of Tal'Dorei is in your hands now. How do you want to do this? (epic music) (mischievous music) (typewriter clacking) (peaceful music) Hey Critters, it's me, Marisha Ray. I had exactly a minute and a half of free time today, so I thought I'd make a little unboxing video for y'all unpacking everything you get with a Twitch subscription to Critical Role. (bright music) Okay. Safety third. (ethereal voices laughing) What the fuck was that? (Marisha exclaiming in awe) So the first thing we've got here is our live and professionally-moderated chat. Twitch is the only place that you can actually get this. You know, it's a little strange to hold because it's an amorphous concept, but honestly, you can't deny this craftsmanship. It's really well made and, aw, oh, you can post links in this, too! That's really cool, so yeah. Put that in your chat and click it. Oh yeah, this is cool. This is the ability to watch all of Critical Role's VODs immediately after the live broadcast ends and before they're uploaded to YouTube. Oh, it smells like ranch. Oh wait. Oh no, that's me. I had ranch on my salad earlier. Yeah, this smells like nothing. Oh, oh, here we have (Marisha grunting) gift subscriptions, which you can either give to a fellow Critter by name or at random using a fancy Twitch algorithm. You can give away a lot of subs with this, which I guess is why it's so heavy for something that's technically non-tangible with a value that's deeply subjective to the consumer. Oh, sick, yeah, I'm so excited to show y'all this part. With a Twitch subscription to Critical Role, you can use all of our incredible custom emotes in chat. We have so many emotes in here. Let's see, we Art Dad, super cool. We got Ashley Hype, fun one. Look at Trinket here. He's so, oh, oh god. (clattering and crashing) Oh god. Broom, broom. Hang on, I can fix this. I can fix this. I'm fixing it! Jerry! Oh god, okay. I'm sorry, Trinket. (machine whirring) Yeah, that'll work. I need more glue, this is not gonna be enough. (tape ripping) Don't tell Rachel, okay? Okay, please nobody. (metal clanking) Schapiro, will you cut all this out? (electronic buzzing)BREAK ENDS -->

Part II
MATT: And welcome back. So, as you are a bit scattered between the front step region of the seminary, or within a distant workshop within the seminary, and within Professor Kadija Sumal's office in the seminary, Fearne and Imogen--

SAM: Wow.

MATT: -- after speaking a bit to the professor, the door abruptly opened, and as Fearne tried to play interference, an older elvish fellow with long silver hair and blue robes and a very stern expression just looks at you with a smile and says, "No."

ASHLEY: No what? I'm so sorry. You just walked in here rudely.

MATT: "I'm not interested. Step aside."

LAURA: Can I see him from where I'm sitting? Just for my reference, when the doors open.

ASHLEY: How dare him?

MATT: As he moves back, in the seat, yes.

LAURA: And I would recognize him instantly from seeing him in the memories of--

MATT: In the memories, in the descriptions, you have a very, very strong idea this is the same individual.

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: Sorry. Fixing your collar.

MATT: He begins to step in your direction.

ASHLEY: Whoa, whoa, whoa. We're having a girls' tea. What's going on? Why did you just come in here?

MATT: Make a wisdom saving throw.

SAM: Oh, it is already happening.

LIAM: Oh shit.

ASHLEY: Aah!

TRAVIS: You better roll, you better roll--

MARISHA: Roll.

TRAVIS: -- like your fey life depends on it.

ASHLEY: What am I rolling? Charisma?

TRAVIS: This is how it happens.

MATT: Wisdom saving throw.

TRAVIS: This is how it goes, Johnson, I hope you got your backup ready.

MARISHA: He's trying to get in your head!

LAURA: In Sumal's head, she's going to hear: If you have any tricks up your sleeve, now's the time to do it, because this guy's powerful.

ASHLEY: I have advantage on magical effects and spells and things like that?

MATT: You do.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LIAM: What was it?

TALIESIN: Oh, clearly.

MARISHA: ♪ He's in your head ♪

ASHLEY: Oh, oh, oh! Oh, that's really good.

LIAM: ♪ Da'leth, Da'leth ♪

LIAM and LAURA: ♪ 'leth, 'leth, 'leth ♪

ASHLEY: 26.

ALL: Whoa.

MATT: 26. He just gives you a look and runs his fingers, and you feel this kind of influence trying to pierce your mind, and your fey ancestry manages to shrug off the effect.

SAM: Ooh.

MATT: And you watch as he goes--

ASHLEY: I'll wave back. (laughter)

SAM: Hello!

ASHLEY: We are not the ones you're looking for. (laughter)

MATT: He smiles and chuckles. "Amusing."

ASHLEY: What's your name? What's your name? Don't walk in here without telling me your name.

SAM and LIAM: (laugh)

MATT: "I'm Martinet Ludinus Da'leth of the Cerberus Assembly of the Dwendalian Empire in Wildemount."

ASHLEY: One more time, because that's so long.

MATT: "I don't have time for this."

ASHLEY: Ludinus?

MATT: He looks past and begins to walk past you, just entering the chamber behind you. "You have ignored Assembly requests for meeting for weeks now, and we are working on a short timetable."

ASHLEY: I'm going to bamf out--

MATT: "A personal visit seemed the most productive measure." Hmm?

ASHLEY: (whispers) I'm going to bamf out Mister.

MATT: Okay. (whooshes)

SAM: (laughs) Monkey with a gun.

MATT: The door slams behind him without him touching it.

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: And it locks. (clicks)

SAM: Oh!

TRAVIS: Shit.

LIAM: He Arcane Locked that shit.

LAURA: You're going to hear in your head: This guy's bad news, real, real, real, real bad news. Bad guy, this is bad guy.

MATT: Professor goes, "I--" and hears in your head and looks at you and has no response, is in this shocked reaction, suddenly confronted with the nightmare she's been avoiding for a very long time. Looks back, "I don't-- (stammers)" And he just continues. "I believe you know why I'm here. I now know who you are and with whom you ally."

LAURA: I feel like we're intruding on something.

ASHLEY: Yeah, this feels very personal, like we shouldn't be here.

MATT: "Sit, you might learn something," and he moves his fingers like this, and two chairs in the chamber (whooshes) shift up behind you and kick you down into a sitting position. Looks back to the professor. "The archive recovered is extremely important to our research, but necessary excerpts have been missing. I would request at the behest of the Dwendalian Empire and the other members of the Cerberus Assembly that you turn over the remainder of the archive of your own volition." She just looks at him. You've now noticed that as the door began opened, she had already shifted the papers off the desk, but the desk hasn't been moved back, and there's just an opening in the ground where they're just resting. She goes, "We gave over everything. It was delivered. It should have all been there already. I'm just a professor. I'm a teacher, I don't--"

ASHLEY: We're just teachers. We're just teachers.

MATT: Shoots a glance with his eye to you, back to her. "We know you're not just a teacher. Few of you are." And he brings his hand up and traces one half-circle in the air, threads his fingers through it, and releases just this little flick in her direction. As it does, you see this little green tether that drifts in an arch towards her head. It touches her forehead and then (whooshes) turns into smoke. And she immediately goes, "Of course." (groaning)

MATT: Reaches down, grabs it, stands up, and hands it over to him.

TRAVIS: Wow! Wow!

MATT: He takes it. "That wasn't so hard, was it?" Puts it into his robes. "(sighs) I do hate robbing them of their will, but some things are more important. You may sit." She sits down, rests her hands on the desk, and just waits. He turns over to the two of you.

SAM: Oh shit.

MATT: "She was right. You do look just like your mother." (gasping)

MATT: "I'm sorry, I'm being terribly rude. I've introduced myself to you, but not to you. I'm Ludinus Da'leth, the Martinet of the Cerberus Assembly. It is genuinely a pleasure to meet you. I've heard of your prowess."

LAURA: A pleasure.

MATT: "And you..."

ASHLEY: And me.

MATT: "Not quite an Exaltant, but--"

ASHLEY: Hmm?

MATT: "Definitely of the red moon. Fortuitous."

ASHLEY: Well, is it time? Is it time that we were going?

LAURA: We should probably head out. We should probably be heading out, but it's just been so great meeting you. You know, we've heard really good things.

ASHLEY: Very good things, such good stuff.

MATT: "Please, I'd be curious to hear how I'm represented this far through the southwest."

ASHLEY: Hair, your hair.

LAURA: Yeah, that's the biggest description, is just--

ASHLEY: The silvery, silvery locks flowing down from your head.

TRAVIS: Is Ludinus grabbing something around his neck? You were doing this unconsciously. Does he have something around his neck?

MATT: You're not there.

SAM: (pigeon coos)

LAURA: (pigeons coos) What's he grabbing? What is that?

ASHLEY: Wait, so where are you from?

MATT: You can roll a perception check, if you'd like.

ASHLEY: Yeah. (dice clatters)

LAURA: Ah!

TALIESIN: Oh god, why?

LIAM: (laughs)

MARISHA: Nice shot.

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: FCG kills everybody.

LAURA: Okay. Okay, well, that's 13.

MATT: 13. He briefly fiddled with something, but you're uncertain what it was.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: And you see there are all manner of intricate rings on his fingers. His clothing is intimidating in how well crafted and designed it is. There's an air of confidence that is genuinely terrifying through his smile, though he seems almost pleasant. It's that odd sort of charismatic pressure that you can't help but be put off by as he just looks at and through each of you. And what was your question, Fearne, to him?

ASHLEY: I couldn't tell you. (laughter)

TRAVIS: I don't know.

ASHLEY: Not a fucking clue.

LAURA: I don't know.

TRAVIS: Are you single?

ASHLEY: Yes. Oh. I remember.

MATT: What was your question?

ASHLEY: Where are you from? Where do you reside?

MATT: "The continent of Wildemount."

ASHLEY: The continent of Wildemount. That's cool.

MARISHA and SAM: (laugh)

MATT: "Now, you've asked a question. It's only fair that I return the favor. What is your business with the professor?"

LAURA: I had... heard-- I was just trying to find my mother, and I knew that she had spoken with this professor in the past, and I was hoping, just hoping to find out anything about her. I lost her when I was very young.

MATT: "I'm sorry to hear that. Well, if you have any burning questions, you're welcome to ask me as well. Very few have the opportunity to speak of someone of such history and repute. It seems some of our--" He looks down to where he put the documents in his robe, "-- interests may overlap."

LAURA: Do you work with her personally?

MATT: "For some time, yes. She's been rather integral to what we're doing, and I think I will be eternally grateful for what she's done. We all will be. You should be proud."

LAURA: I am. Thank you. If we were interested in helping your cause as well, what would we do?

MATT: "Well. Do you feel the pull northward?"

LAURA: Do I? I don't know.

MATT: A little bit. There's always been this kind of direction sense you can't quite describe, and now that he says this, you remember there's always been this moment in the morning when you wake up, you always find yourself subconsciously glancing in the direction. You remember the dream that you had where you looked at the moon and felt it draw you towards it. And until now, you hadn't really connected the two. "Follow the instinct. Both of you, if it's there."

ASHLEY: So, how do we join? (laughter)

ASHLEY: Just like, you know. Just the things that we're learning and sort of the raw power.

MATT: "Look, I know you've had dalliances with the ignorant masses that try and tangle our hard work. I know you've confronted my associate, Thull, and I'm not blind enough to believe that you are just seeking entry into our merry band."

LAURA: Of course not.

MATT: "But I also know you only speak from a place of ignorance and misunderstanding. I'm not the one doing this. There are many of us working together to make this happen. This is important work. It's my life's work. So, do you want to know how to help? Stop resisting."

ASHLEY: Stop resisting?

LAURA: Are you Ruidusborn as well?

MATT: "I have my connections to the red moon, yes."

ASHLEY: Insight check.

MATT: Make an insight check.

LIAM: Roll high, goddamn it, roll high.

SAM: It's going to be so high.

LIAM: Come on.

LAURA: (laughs) And it's not high.

TALIESIN: (laughs) You had to say that.

ASHLEY: 17.

LAURA: Oh, that's not bad. Wow, whoa.

LIAM: That is amazing.

ASHLEY: I know, it's weird.

TRAVIS: You have bomb-ass insight? Yo, he's getting up!

SAM: A whisper?

TALIESIN: Oh, whisper.

SAM: A whisper? I don't have anything to plug. I have a combat thing. This isn't combat. This is a whisper.

LIAM: Combat of the minds!

TALIESIN: Combat of the mind. Thank you.

SAM: This combat of the mind is brought to you by WizKids Mind Minis? (laughter)

SAM: Monsters of Exandria Set 3 available for pre-order. Even more monsters from the wilds of Exandria. Go to wizkids.io/crminis or your local game store.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

SAM: Of the mind. (laughter)

LAURA: Does it speak to you directly?

ASHLEY: Yes, does it? (laughter)

MATT: "I've had my conversations, yes."

LAURA: Huh.

ASHLEY: So you get that feeling that's really deep inside your chest, or you feel a really intense anger and you know where it's coming from?

MATT: He genuinely looks like he's kind of lost the thread. (laughter)

MARISHA: It's just Fearne.

LAURA: That might just be--

TALIESIN: You've been Fearne-ed.

LAURA: Is that just you? (laughter)

MARISHA: Just heartburn.

MATT: "I think your mother would love to see you. She's talked about you."

LAURA: What'd she say?

MATT: "She's sad that her destiny took her on a different path, and she hoped it wouldn't lead you to the dangerous threads of fate that tug her ever away. But it seems you share a very similar destiny."

LAURA: She's been beckoning me to her for quite a while and I've been resisting, but maybe it's time to give in.

MATT: He gives a very intense look at the two of you. "Do you know what we're doing?" And he smiles.

TRAVIS: He's reading your fucking thoughts.

LAURA: Learning bits and pieces. The power is pretty enticing, though, I got to say.

MATT: "Power is just a tool. All power is just a tool. Only the fools through history use it for personal gain and useless, eventually forgotten means."

LAURA: If you succeed, though, will it go away?

MATT: "Parts of it will."

LAURA: Hm.

MATT: "For those that have cheated through boons unearned beyond just faith. The society is born on those who have gained power transactions, unearned except for granting their succor unearned except for granting their succor and obsession to these gods. and obsession to these gods. We've never needed them. They've always needed us.

LAURA: It's happening soon, right?

MATT: "Hmm. Sooner than I'd like. But we'll be as ready as we can be."

LAURA: Well, maybe we'll find you to the north.

MATT: "I have faith you will."

ASHLEY: What are you doing with those papers?

MATT: (laughs) "Don't want to spoil the surprise."

ASHLEY: I don't really like surprises, so maybe you should just tell me.

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: (laughs) He leans forward and gets very close to your face, his eyes meeting yours.

LAURA: (whispers) I'm scared to Detect Thoughts on him.

SAM: (whispers) Do it.

MATT: "I watched the world burn at their behest. I saw the ruin their games left of our people. The destruction they brought down to stunt the potential of mortal minds and hearts. They act only to preserve themselves. So... If there is even an ounce of you that finds faith in them, there is no place for you amongst us."

LAURA: How old are you?

MATT: "Old enough." He gives you a look. "You're not of any faith either, are you?"

LAURA: I never needed it.

MATT: "Why? Why?"

LAURA: Why don't I have faith in the gods?

MATT: "Yes."

LAURA: They don't mean anything to me.

MATT: "Good." He turns to leave. Steps to the door, lifts his finger. (intense crackles) (door unlocks) (hinges squeak) Steps to the threshold, turns around. "We are the seeds they plant, and till, and water. We are the seeds they plant, and till, and water. They struggle in the maze they shaped. Then when we expire, we return to their private gardens to be harvested and feed their power and dominance because they told us there is no alternative. This is how it is and we must thank them for it. We may be their creations, but all children outgrow their parents. And they came to fear our development, our potential. The Matron, the Age of Arcanum, the growing will of the mortal mind. The Divergence, it wasn't to protect us, it was to protect them from us." And he steps out of the room and the door closes.

SAM: Ooh.

LAURA: What is the professor doing through all this?

MATT: She's just sitting there with a smile on her face and a tear rolling down her cheek.

LAURA: Professor Sumal?

SAM: Oh boy.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: There's got to be something we can do.

ASHLEY: Should I slap her? I don't know. What snaps somebody out of this?

MATT: She's just there.

LAURA: (sighs)

ASHLEY: What did he do? What did he do to her?

LAURA: I mean, he might've just destroyed her brain. We'll send somebody for you.

MATT: She now looks over and smiles and nods.

LAURA: Is there anything he didn't take?

MATT: "What?"

MARISHA: Ooh.

LAURA: (clicks tongue)

TRAVIS: (laughs) Yo. This shit.

LAURA: Can I look down in the--

TRAVIS: Goddamn it.

TALIESIN: Like reset. Oh, no.

LAURA: -- place that she took the documents out of? Is there anything left in there?

MATT: That's pretty barren.

ASHLEY: Fuck.

MATT: You can investigate it further, if you like.

LAURA: Sure.

ASHLEY: I'll assist.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: You look inside. There's a small pouch. It's got some coins in it. Looks like a gold ring. Kind of like a bug out fund.

LAURA: I'm not going to take that.

ASHLEY: Yeah, we should leave that with her, right?

LAURA: Fearne, yes, we should.

ASHLEY: I was just making sure.

LAURA: Just in case.

ASHLEY: Yeah, if she needs to leave, she's going to need to...

LAURA: I'm going to tuck that in her pocket.

MATT: Tuck it in, she watches your hand come and looks at you, "Thanks."

SAM: Oh no.

LAURA: Shit.

ASHLEY: Okay. Okay, we need to go back out there and we should grab him and kill him? I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding.

LAURA: (laughs) I wish. How old? He spoke like he saw it.

ASHLEY: I know, that's what I heard. Like he was actually there. Okay, I think we need to tell everybody.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Are you okay?

LAURA: Yeah. We've got to stop him. I've got to find my mother.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Yeah, we should find your mom. We have a lot to do.

LAURA: I've got a lot to do. L-l-let's head out to the front.

ASHLEY: Okay, let's go to the front.

MATT: Okay. In the interim, the three of you are out front.

SAM: Oh yeah!

TRAVIS: I was wondering--

TALIESIN: So I come to in this pantry, and I wake up, I'm tied to a chair. And Violet's--

SAM: Story's still going.

TALIESIN: Violet's just behind me and that sociopathic elf just will not shut the fuck up. And in the meantime, some asshole was just yelling at me that my face keeps leaving a dent in their industrial garlic press. They're trying to figure out why.

TRAVIS and SAM: (laugh)

TALIESIN: I mean, I guess... I think independent contract work was really unhealthy and I'm really glad I'm not doing that sort of shit anymore.

TRAVIS: I'm surprised you let them tie you to the chair. That seems very giving on your part.

TALIESIN: Well, I was unconscious at that point because of that fucking accountant that came through. Happened to have just a Sleep spell. We got knocked out. At least that's what I think happened. Violet would--

TRAVIS: The kenku?

TALIESIN: It wasn't the kenku. It was a different kenku, but clearly they were related. They had some sort of thing and--

MATT: About this time, Orym--

LIAM: Hm?

MATT: -- as they're having this conversation, you're like--

TALIESIN: Sully was just yelling and--

MATT: -- looking off. At the top of the stairs, you see descending, an individual that catches your attention.

TRAVIS: And we didn't see that individual approach the building?

MATT: No.

MARISHA: Wowzers.

LIAM: And it's long, white hair?

MATT: Long, white silver hair; long, blue-gold robes. Older elvish gentleman. Just hands tucked into each other's sleeve, just walking down the stairs.

LIAM: Shiver up Orym's spine, but he's going to try not to react at all.

MATT: (footsteps)

LAURA: (whispers) I just never realized--

MATT: Just for the hell of it, I'd like you three to make--

TRAVIS: Just for the smell of it.

MATT: Either stealth or deception checks, your choice.

TRAVIS: I have advantage on... It's consciously, though, so fuck it.

LIAM: It's 10 for me.

TRAVIS: 23.

MARISHA: Oh.

LIAM: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

TALIESIN: 19.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Guh.

LAURA: Guh!

TRAVIS: Sorry, 25.

MATT: 25.

TRAVIS: I can add.

MATT: Okay. Doesn't seem to acknowledge or make any specific motions towards noticing or giving really any interest in your directions. Descends to the bottom of the stairs and continues walking out into the main cobblestone thoroughfare beyond the entry walls to the seminary.

TRAVIS: What about the cookware? Was it silver or was it wooden?

TALIESIN: I mean, the handle was wooden. It was very expensive. They actually made a point of telling me how much, how expensive it was--

LIAM: I poke Chetney in the ribs, really hard.

TALIESIN: 950 gold.

LIAM: Hold that thought, I do want to hear the end of this saga.

LAURA: (laughs)

LIAM: There.

TRAVIS: What?

TALIESIN: What?

LIAM: I point in the crowd to him, I assume, wading into-- Vanishing into the crowd. Memorize that fucking guy's head.

TRAVIS: In the robe, the hair, the face.

TALIESIN: Hard to miss.

LIAM: That's Da'leth.

TRAVIS: That young face.

TALIESIN: What?

LIAM: Got to be. We got to get inside. They might not be okay.

TALIESIN: Yep, okay.

LIAM: Yeah, we got to get inside.

TALIESIN: All right, nope, nope, come on.

TRAVIS: Casual, casual. Casual.

TALIESIN: I don't know.

TRAVIS: Shoulder lean. Shoulder lean.

TALIESIN: The most awkward walk I can. (sighs)

LAURA and MARISHA: (laugh)

MATT: As you all begin to shuffle in, we come to the two of you. (Vitro) "All right, looking at this."

SAM: Oh wow, this is so cool.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

MATT: (metallic spring) (door creaks)

MARISHA: (gasps)

LAURA: (laughs)

SAM: Wow, that's so neat.

MATT: "It's got a little compartment to make sure that when you eat the things it stays in there and doesn't end up falling all over the place and onto the ground. So that way you have both the intake of that and the intake of this. Both work simultaneously."

SAM: Wow, thank you so much, professor. This is great. I'm going to try to cook something in here and I'll send it to you as a gift, a thank you.

MATT: "Make sure you send it from a place not too far away depending on how perishable the actual food item is."

SAM: Of course.

MATT: "I'm very happy to try it."

MARISHA: That recipe for Eshteross' cookies.

SAM: Oh yeah, I know. I'm going to try it out. Yeah, I'm going to.

MARISHA: That's brilliant. Oh my god.

SAM: Wow, this has been such a fun day.

MATT: "Oh, it has been a complete honor. I have never really had the opportunity to give direct adjustments to an Aeormaton. This is... I cannot wait to put together a lecture about this experience."

SAM: Well, like I said, I'll check in soon. And hey, we're going to head out, but... We should go find them. Where's Professor Sumal's office?

MATT: "Oh, Professor Sumal. Yes, you head down..." He gives you the directions around the space to it. "I'm uncertain if she's in today. She's sporadically in and out of the seminary, but that is where you will find her if she's here."

SAM: We'll just have a check.

MATT: "Okay?"

SAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: Such a pleasure.

MATT: "Okay. Trust me, the pleasure was entirely mine."

MARISHA: Oh, you're so wonderful.

MATT: "A very, very safe journey to both of you. To Fresh Cut Grass, an absolute honor." Takes your hand and holds it and looks you directly in the eye. "I hope our paths cross once again."

SAM: I hope so, too.

MARISHA: They will!

SAM: They will.

MARISHA: Yes.

SAM: They will.

MATT: "Perfect. Travel safe, enjoy your journeys. Hope you continue to pursue your intellectual path in life. And when you graduate, please write a letter so I can know."

SAM: Oh, that's right, graduate.

MATT: "I would be very happy to hear about your various pursuits."

MARISHA: Yes. Yes.

SAM: We will.

MATT: "Fantastic."

SAM: See you at graduation.

MARISHA: You know, you asking about where Professor Sumal was,

MARISHA: You know, you asking about where Professor Sumal was, Imogen was supposed to check in with me and let me know where that room was.

SAM: Didn't she say she would only be able to talk to you for a few minutes?

MARISHA: Right, but I thought she would at least give me the room number. I don't know, let's--

SAM: Let's go find her.

MARISHA: Let's go head that way.

SAM: (putters)

MATT: Okay. About this time as you guys are heading in that direction, the three of you, you've stepped to the top of the stairs, carefully begin to enter indeed.

TRAVIS: One question.

MATT: Yes?

TRAVIS: As he was leaving, Martinet, before we headed up the stairs, was anybody moving to flank his position? Was he alone? Did anyone...

MATT: Nobody was going down the stairs with him. You can make a perception check, if you'd like.

TRAVIS: Yeah, even as he was coming down the steps, did somebody come out of the crowd to give him cover?

MARISHA: Secret Service him?

TRAVIS: 16.

MATT: 16, okay. You don't see anything, unfortunately, as you're looking forward. You who rolled higher than that when you were keeping an eye continued to watch the crowd as you go.

MARISHA: (sneezes)

SAM: Cute.

MATT: You do see...

MARISHA: (sneezes)

MATT: Gesundheit. Two other figures in familiar dark red and silver robes, Two other figures in familiar dark red and silver robes, akin to the ones you had battled in a house recently.

MARISHA and TALIESIN: Mm.

LIAM: Yep.

MATT: Meet up with him across the way.

SAM: Oh.

MATT: And you watch the three of them.

SAM: He's with the--

LIAM: Ruby Vanguard.

TRAVIS: Oh fuck.

MATT: Just vanish from the middle of the road. All the people nearby are like, "Whoa." There's a reaction of-- an audible group of people who are like, "What the? (sighs) I never get used to it." People are just--

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "I'm blown away by this sort of magic for a brief moment." And then go about their conversations for the day.

MARISHA: So are we heading to Sumal's?

MATT: Indeed.

TRAVIS: Damn.

MATT: But the three of you, you get to the top and you indeed see Carolle, the clerk there.

ASHLEY: Uh-oh.

MATT: How do you wish to get by? Are you just going to barge through?

LIAM: (clears throat) Ah, Carolle.

MATT: "Oh, yes, yes. Hi."

LIAM: We are back. Is this a good time?

MATT: "It's not a good time. It's never a good time. I was-- I was duped by you."

LIAM: Well, I mean, I don't want to make a big you know, stink about it, especially right in the middle of the lobby of the entire school.

MATT: "Of course not. Go right ahead, it's fine."

LIAM: We're just here to deliver a gift to Professor Sumal. We're only going to be a little while. Actually, the most of us are inside already so we're just trying to catch up.

MATT: "I can't allow that to happen after what happened earlier today."

LIAM: Do you really want to get into that right now, right here? Publicly?

MATT: "It's my job." (laughter)

LIAM: Carolle, I'm supposed to be the nice guy in our group. I really don't want to cause a row here.

MATT: Make an intimidation check.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: The nicest intimidation.

LIAM: I don't have good intimidation.

MATT: You can use your strength, if you'd like to.

TALIESIN: I'm going to assist with this intimidation.

MATT: How are you going to assist with this?

TALIESIN: I'm very, very slowly going to pull out a large, silver-handled, wooden pot spoon. (laughter)

TALIESIN: That I shoved in the back. That's about-- It's clearly just seen a little bit of fucking use today. And there's some cracks. There might be some blood on it. Maybe marinara, who knows? We're in a real rush. So if you don't mind, please, pretty fucking please, just let us in.

TRAVIS: I'm starting to carve her likeness into my left tit. (laughter)

TALIESIN: I slap your tit real quick.

ASHLEY: With the marinara spoon.

MATT: So you can make an additional intimidation check or you can take advantage.

LIAM: I'll let Ashton do that.

TALIESIN: Do I take the the advantage because of you or no?

MATT: No, he's already rolled.

TALIESIN: Oh, he already rolled.

LIAM: And a little louder Orym will say: I mean, we're just here to learn. We really don't want to cause any problems.

TALIESIN: Natural 20 for 27.

LAURA: Yes!

ASHLEY: There we go.

MATT: She looks at the spoon.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

TALIESIN: This has already been somewhere today.

MATT: "I can tell."

TALIESIN: I've had a long day. I'll be careful.

TRAVIS: Prego.

MATT: "I have to go check in."

TALIESIN: That's a yes. Thank you. Going, yeah. Just knock stuff off the--

MATT: "No, I--"

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: You see her frustratingly curse herself under her breath while Ashton wanders in.

LIAM: Buy something nice with that five platinum. I head off.

TRAVIS: I'll finish this later. You have to hold still. (laughter)

MATT: The three of you begin to enter the hall, just as you see a bit above you, entering from a different direction, FCG and Laudna.

SAM: ♪ Do do do do do ♪

MARISHA: What are you doing?

LIAM: Where are Fearne and Imogen?

MARISHA: We were just going to go meet them in Sumal's.

SAM: They're in the other office.

LIAM: We just saw--

MARISHA: Did you hear something?

LIAM: No, we just saw Da'leth.

MARISHA: What?

LIAM: Heading out of the seminary.

MARISHA: Fuck. I'm heading that way.

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: Okay. Now they have the directions. So you guys don't have to search for it. They go directly to the office. You two, what are you doing?

ASHLEY: Okay. I think we should look for any books, maybe that have to do with any of this.

LAURA: We're going to look through the office and see if we can find any other information. I'm just-- I feel like I should try to read her thoughts. But I'm afraid if I do it, then I'm going to--

TRAVIS: Erase the tape?

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

ASHLEY: Here's the deal. I don't think you can make it worse, and I think you should do it.

SAM: Fair.

ASHLEY: I know that this is a terrible thing that's happening. Maybe we can come back and fix it. I'm just saying. Maybe we should just try that while we're here. Is that bad?

LAURA: Okay. Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to use up the remainder of my sorcery points. Goodbye, sorcery points. I'm going to regain a 3rd-level spell.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: And a 2nd-level spell.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: Maybe what we do is we call Ryn here. is we call Ryn here.

ASHLEY: Oh, that's a good idea. She could probably do something to help.

LAURA: Yeah, and I could, you know, read her thoughts as well. I just-- In case something goes wrong, maybe Ryn can take us quickly to the other people. You know?

ASHLEY: Yes. I think that's a good plan. That's a good plan.

LAURA: All right. We got to get everyone else. We got to--

ASHLEY: Okay. You do this. I'm going to peek out, go grab everybody.

LAURA: All right.

ASHLEY: But just scream if something's wrong.

LAURA: All right.

ASHLEY: Okay. Are you okay?

LAURA: I'm fine.

ASHLEY: Okay. Are you okay? You can't even answer me. Okay, I'm going to go.

MATT: She's just looking at you like.

ASHLEY: You're going to be great. Okay. Have fun. Or, I'll be back.

MATT: You see out the door, pulling it open again, glance out, and literally 10 feet to the left, you see the rest of your friends right there.

SAM: Oh hey!

TALIESIN: Guys!

LIAM: What happened?

SAM: What? What happened? What?

ASHLEY: Come here, come here, come here. Just come here.

SAM: What's going on?

MARISHA: Just barge past Fearne.

MATT: You enter the interior of the office and you can see the scene here, this dark lit interior, the desk shifted forward slightly, and the professor just sitting. As you all enter, the professor smiles as you all enter.

MARISHA: Imogen.

MATT: "Hi."

SAM: Hi.

LAURA: He got the Omen Archives.

LIAM: He? Da'leth, we saw him on the front steps. You--

LAURA: He got everything they had left. He-- Her mind is--

MARISHA: I just grab Imogen. Are you all right?

LAURA: I'm fine.

MARISHA: Did he do anything to you?

LAURA: He didn't hurt us, he didn't--

LIAM: What did he say? What happened?

ASHLEY: No, he didn't--

LAURA: He said so much. He wants-- I don't know.

TRAVIS: I'm back out in the hallway. I'm looking at the doorframe. I'm looking for any bombs, sigils, markings, anything that looks weird like this is about to be a erased, this room.

MATT: Okay. Make an investigation check for me.

MARISHA: Shit.

LAURA: We need to get out of here.

TRAVIS: Oh, that's fucking great. 20, 23.

MATT: 23. Giving a rather thorough examination of this space while they're conversing, you get the sense that, no. Nothing was left behind to close the loop.

TRAVIS: I'll stay out in the hallway just in case.

MARISHA: I don't trust him.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: We need to call Planerider Ryn here.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LIAM: We crossed the entire continent for this.

LAURA: I know.

MARISHA: What did he-- He took them? He took the papers?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: He took the papers. I don't even know what all was on there, but she had been hiding them for so long.

SAM: How did he know, right now, to come here? Has he been following us? Or following you?

LAURA: He knew about us. I don't know. But he definitely knew about us.

SAM: That one knew about you, but he knew that you would be here now or that you-- How did he find you here now? Was he looking for you, you think?

LAURA: No, he was looking for her.

ASHLEY: I think it's just a coincidence.

SAM: But she's always been here. This is her office. He could've come any time. Why did he come now?

ASHLEY: Maybe to meet Imogen.

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Do you have an ability to help her out? Her mind has been--

TALIESIN: Actually, how bad is it? Hold on. Hey, hi.

MATT: "Hi."

TALIESIN: So what's your name by the way?

MATT: "I'm Kadija."

TALIESIN: Kadija.

MATT: "Yeah."

TALIESIN: How old are you? It's okay if you don't know. Just, it's been a rough day, trust me. If it's too hard, it's okay.

MATT: "My head hurts."

TALIESIN: Oh yeah. What's... Whatcha been thinking about?

MATT: "I had a-- I had pages."

TALIESIN: Yeah, you did. That's right. It's okay.

SAM: I don't really. I mean, I can--

TALIESIN: There's something.

SAM: I can try to cure her.

TALIESIN: I mean--

SAM: I don't think that's going to do it.

TALIESIN: Do you need anything? Do you want anything right now?

MARISHA: If you do a restoration or anything?

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: Not today.

LAURA: Maybe we can call Ryn here.

MATT: "I could have some water."

TALIESIN: I have that. Water. Water?

ASHLEY: I can give her some water.

LIAM: I feel a little iffy just leaving her here, in case they come back to clean up afterward.

MARISHA: She's also--

TALIESIN: Why would they bother?

MARISHA: She's in a school with some of the most brilliant professors and magic users.

SAM: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: They can help her.

TALIESIN: They won't know what happened, though.

MARISHA: But they will know what to do.

SAM: We could leave a note, or I could go tell the professor that I was just talking to.

LIAM: Maybe she'd be better off with Kai.

LAURA: That's what I mean. We could bring her to them.

LIAM: Yeah. Yes. We can get out of here.

MARISHA: With Ebenold?

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: I mean, they are allies. Especially if we don't know how much the rest of the sanctum knows about their inner workings.

TALIESIN: Do you know who Kai is?

MATT: "Yeah."

TALIESIN: Would you like to go see Kai? Would that make you happy?

MATT: "Okay."

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: "Okay."

MARISHA: Shit.

TALIESIN: Okay.

LAURA: He's really powerful.

ASHLEY: Yeah, that was--

MARISHA: Da'leth?

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: You're sure he didn't hurt you?

LAURA: No, he didn't. He just talked.

MARISHA: All right, well. I agree with Chetney. We've got to get the fuck out of here, so let's--

LAURA: (laughs)

MARISHA: Did you say that?

TRAVIS: Did I say that?

MARISHA: You did.

LAURA: With your posture. Yeah, we could tell.

ASHLEY: It's just written all over your face.

LAURA: Okay, I'm going to send a message to Planerider Ryn.

MATT: Via Sending?

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: We're in Sumal's office. We need a fast exit. She's been hurt.

ASHLEY: Do you say anything about him?

LAURA: I'll tell her when she gets here.

MATT: Okay. Rather rapid response from Planerider. (Ryn) "Well, shit. I was really hoping that he was elsewhere. (sighs) On my way."

LAURA: Okay. She's coming.

LIAM: Cool.

SAM: Cool, cool cool.

ASHLEY: I'm going to start looking through the books and see if there's anything.

MATT: Make an investigation check.

ASHLEY: Oh, my investigation is so bad. Does anyone else want to look?

LAURA: Yeah, we can help. I'm bad at investigation too, but I can help.

MATT: You can both roll or you can take advantage.

SAM: What are you trying to do?

ASHLEY: You do it.

LIAM: Remember when our party used to have super detectives? (laughter)

MARISHA: I miss it.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: I'm beginning to miss it.

TRAVIS: Is there any old man smell--

LAURA: I'm rolling with advantage?

TRAVIS: -- left in this room from ancient high elf son of bitch?

LIAM: Patchouli.

TALIESIN: Hair product.

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: Any Icy Hot up in this motherfucker? (laughter)

LIAM: Drakkar Noir.

MATT: Make a perception check with advantage, because it's scent based.

LAURA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Got to catalog these things when you can. Goddamn it! That's a five.

MARISHA: Wait, did you roll that one?

TRAVIS: I rolled these two.

MARISHA: Oh, okay.

TALIESIN: I have a very garlic-y smell right now. It's probably really fucking shit up.

TRAVIS: I rolled a three and a four.

MATT: Oh, that sucks.

ASHLEY: (laughs)

MATT: I mean, there's multiple scents in here. You didn't quite catch anything that would be directly his.

TRAVIS: Out in the hallway, because there's just so much stank in that room, the offices to the left and the right of them, are they a good distance away or relatively close? Or is he at the end of the hallway?

MATT: No, they're a fair distance apart. Dee-stance. They're a fair dee-stance apart.

LAURA: They're a fair dee-stance.

MATT: They're a fair distance apart.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: You're not sure about the layout of this side of the hall or building, but the distance and the size of this hall leads you to believe that there is a gap between them, whether that's a smaller room or since this is the one on the outside, maybe the wall might be a crenulated layout to it.

TRAVIS: I don't think there's such a thing. I don't know, but the offices seem far apart.

SAM: What does that mean?

TRAVIS: I don't know. Maybe he had a secret room.

SAM: A secret room?

TRAVIS: Yeah. I mean, usually--

ASHLEY: All right.

SAM: I can look around, if you want.

MATT: What did you roll?

LAURA: I rolled.

ASHLEY: We didn't find anything.

LAURA: Very eight.

MATT: (laughs) Yeah. This chamber, a lot of books. A lot of books and collection elements. But it doesn't take long. For in the doorway itself, (apparating) the form of Planerider Ryn just apparates, a familiar sight to those who have used invisibility.

TRAVIS: What's up, Bae?

MATT: (Ryn) "All right, that's certainly curious. Oh my dear."

MARISHA: You can do mind things, right? Can you fix her?

MATT: "This is-- This is a bit far from my purview. This is going to be more of a, a divine healer. I think I may have somebody I can bring to for this."

SAM: I'm a divine healer, I think, but.

MATT: "Can you restore the most powerful of curses?"

SAM: I can-- no. (laughter)

MATT: "Do not worry. I'll make sure the professor gets the help that she needs."

MARISHA: So you-- She can be fixed?

MATT: "She can. I think."

MARISHA: Oh.

LAURA: That's great.

MARISHA: Your confidence is intoxicating.

LIAM: Are you going to take her under your protection for now?

MATT: "Unless you plan to, I'll--"

LAURA: No.

LIAM: We got to get going.

MARISHA: Oh shit, wait! I check in with Pâté. Look through his eyes.

LIAM: Just about to ask.

MATT: Okay. You look through Pâté's eyes. Currently sitting on the shoulder of this guy who's sitting there, and just poking him-- (laughter)

MATT: -- in the face, over and over again.

LAURA: I love that you're looking through his eyes as he's doing that.

MATT: You just see his hand go (squishes). The guy's just like, "Ow. Ow. Ow."

MARISHA: Good boy, good boy. We'll be there soon.

LAURA: Will we?

MARISHA: I don't know.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we still have Ludinus, the Martinet, meeting up with some members of that Ruby Vanguard.

LAURA: Yeah. He showed up and got the rest of the Archive.

MATT: "Great, wonderful. Well, that moves our timeline a bit. What is your plan next?"

MARISHA: What do you mean, "It moves our timeline"? Why? It doesn't move the Apogee Solstice. What do you mean?

MATT: "No, no. But--"

TRAVIS: Urgency.

MATT: "Some of the things that we were trying to use to slow them down and keep it from them have fallen through the cracks, so."

LAURA: Do you know, or does--

LAURA: Should've grabbed the papers.

LIAM: -- Ebenold Kai know what was just stolen, what's in those pages?

MATT: She thinks for a second. "As far as I know, the remaining pieces that were part of those papers, they included the names of all the known living Exaltants within Exandria, as part of the Archive's notes."

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

MATT: "It also detailed the rotations of Ruidus--"

TRAVIS: The fucking NOC list.

MATT: "-- and the pattern of its orientation during each flare through recorded history. (groaning)

TRAVIS: No.

ASHLEY: That's what the papers are?

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: It was the good stuff.

TALIESIN: That's bad.

MATT: "Yeah."

LAURA: But they don't have all the Exaltants in there.

TRAVIS: Are you sure?

ASHLEY: I mean, it's only, it's only like. It was only a handful of pages, so it was only a little bit of that information, right?

LIAM: We got to start making moves.

TALIESIN: Maybe it was double spaced.

LIAM: Where are we going?

SAM: We got to get out of here, right?

LAURA: We go to the Fey, the Fey Realm.

MARISHA: Still feel like we should hit the Fey Realm first? This doesn't change that plan.

TRAVIS: Does it?

MATT: "I leave that in your best interests here. We have three targets here. Whatever one you're most comfortable stepping into."

MARISHA: Should we--

TRAVIS: Do you still like the idea of trying to weaken one in the Fey Realm with help of Grandmama.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: And hopefully, that buys us some time.

LIAM: Da'leth is one of the most powerful people on the surface of this flat earth.

MATT: (growls) (laughter)

LAURA: You dick. Do not.

SAM: Orym gets it!

LAURA and TRAVIS: No.

LIAM: He's got some good points.

LAURA: No.

SAM: Why.

TALIESIN: 19 to hit, not kidding. (laughter)

MATT: You take a hammer to the face.

TALIESIN: No, just fist.

ASHLEY: Hey!

LAURA: Oh, oh oh. There it is.

TALIESIN: 19 to hit.

LIAM: Sure, that hits.

TALIESIN: Yeah. Knock it off.

SAM: Guys, can I remind you to please try to be friendly.

TRAVIS: Sorry, FCG. It's okay! It's okay!

TALIESIN: This is how I show affection. You know that.

TRAVIS: It's okay. It's okay.

MARISHA: Everyone's broken!

LIAM: If we run right after him, we're likely to get mauled. Maybe the realm? Maybe if we make their job harder by making some messes for them to clean up.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Then we hit the middle?

LAURA: Yes!

TRAVIS: All right.

LAURA: Fey Realm. If your grandmother can make time slower, and give us a little bit of extra something, that'll help, right?

ASHLEY: Yeah, I-- Yes, that would totally help. I mean, I think she could help in every way. She could feed us, which we don't want to do this on an empty stomach.

TALIESIN: No, definitely.

TRAVIS: What?

LAURA: We got to go.

TALIESIN: Let's go recruit a fucking grandma. Let's do this shit.

ASHLEY: Are we doing this? We're not doing the shadow?

LAURA: No.

ASHLEY: We're going to grandma's?

LAURA: No, we should go to your grandmother's--

ASHLEY: To grandmother's house we go?

MARISHA: Maybe she knows someone who can help us in the Shadowfell?

TALIESIN: Oh, that's--

TRAVIS: I don't think we want to go there at all.

MARISHA: Well, we might have to.

TALIESIN: I don't know what happened, but sure.

SAM: Let's go find out.

TRAVIS: You're right.

LIAM: Yeah, we got to shit or get off the pot. Let's go to the Fey Realm.

MARISHA: Let's go.

ASHLEY: Are we doing it?

TRAVIS: Yeah, we're going.

MARISHA: Ryn.

TRAVIS: Ryn.

MATT: "All right, very well." Now, are you able to--

MATT: Summon Pâté?

MARISHA: Summon Pâté when you get--

MARISHA: Can't I break him, and then bring him back?

MATT: I believe you can. I'll allow it. It makes sense within your-- Especially since you are focused on the familiar pact.

TRAVIS: Make sure Pâté kills him first.

MARISHA: Okay, Pâté.

MATT: "Yeah?"

MARISHA: One last double doozy to the eyes.

MATT: (pings) "Oh!"

MARISHA: Good boy! (snaps)

LIAM: (squelchy pop)

MATT: Yeah, and he does. He just explodes into syrup--

LAURA and SAM: Ew!

MATT: -- on the shoulder of the guy. (laughter) Somewhere in a warehouse, the guy's going. "(whimpers)" (laughter)

MATT: As (squelch) he reappears in the air next to you from, actually, the ends of your hair.

LAURA: Then I explode.

MATT: Ends of your hair begin to stretch out and begin to wrap around before you see flesh and bone.

MARISHA: Yeah, he summons out of my hair.

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: Ew!

MATT: "Back at your side, like you said."

MARISHA: What?

MATT: "Back at your side, like you said." (laughter)

MATT: "What? I was very clear." (laughter)

TALIESIN: That's not what I heard. Wow! (laughter)

LAURA: Oh my god!

SAM: (as Pâté, slurred) "Back at your side, like I said." (laughter)

MARISHA: Okay. Good boy.

MATT: "(grunts)" (laughter)

TRAVIS: Kind of a--

MARISHA: Ryn, was his body still in the warehouse? He's tied up.

MATT: "I'll look into him."

SAM: Tuldus?

MARISHA: Tuldus.

MATT: "I'll take care of him. I'll bring him back because he might be useful in other ways as well. Okay, then! Where are you off to?"

SAM: Oh, did you have a specific location in the Fey Realm?

ASHLEY: Sure, sure. We are going to the Harrowcall Fens. More specifically, if we can just go straight to Grandma's house. It's known as Ligament Manor.

LAURA and SAM: Ligament Manor?

ASHLEY: Yes.

TRAVIS: You fucking low rolling piece of shit!

TALIESIN: I really was excited.

TRAVIS and LAURA: Ligament Manor?

LIAM: Sounds cozy.

TALIESIN: I'm into this now.

ASHLEY: It's just so nice. Does that sound familiar? Can you take us? I mean, if we could--

MATT: "I can send you within the vicinity of a specific location, yes."

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: "The magic isn't perfect across planes and I'm not specific where in that region it will give you... landing space."

TALIESIN: We got a lot of chaos in here, too, so god only knows. Gods only know.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

MATT: "I'll do my best. Close the door. Close the door."

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: Lock, lock, lock, lock. Oh, you have to leave anyway, right?

ASHLEY: Locks don't even matter.

MATT: She turns around and goes to Kadija and goes, "Come on, dear. Sit over here for a second and drink your water." She takes it and sits and drinks it and you watch as Ryn combs her fingers through her hair a bit and shakes her head. "(sighs) (slight laugh) This is going to put us here for the better part of a day before I can get some rest, but I think it's best, since you are seen, that you abscond soon. All right. Gather up. To the Fey Realm the Harrowcall Fins? Fens?"

ASHLEY: Harrowcall Fens. Yes.

MATT: "I've not been there. Tell me how it is when you return. I'm genuinely curious. And the Ligament Manor." She goes ahead and pulls in--

TRAVIS: Did you want me to get this one?

MATT: "Yeah, if you don't mind."

TRAVIS: Okay.

MARISHA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Alakazam...

MARISHA: (laughs)

TALIESIN: I'm very un--

TRAVIS: Malachizi!

TALIESIN: This is going to go poorly. Does anybody--

TRAVIS: Am I stealing your thunder? No, please. Go ahead.

MATT: "He's such an asshole."

TALIESIN: Right?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "I kind of like it."

LIAM: Senior moment.

LAURA and SAM: (laugh)

MARISHA: Ooh!

MATT: She reaches into her pouch and pulls, and you see that she reaches in and she's up to the elbow in her pouch, which is only about that deep and she reaches around for a second.

TALIESIN: Practically perfect in every way.

MATT: Pulls out a small case.

SAM: Aah.

LAURA and MATT: (laugh)

TALIESIN: Thank you. I was trying. (laughter)

MARISHA: These assholes.

MATT: Fucking dicks. (laughter)

TALIESIN: A calf comes up.

ASHLEY: Yeah. (laughter)

TALIESIN: It's difficult. Sorry.

MATT: She casts you to the hells of Exandria-- (laughter)

ASHLEY: This isn't right!

MATT: End of campaign. (laughter)

TALIESIN: I regret nothing. (laughter)

MATT: She pulls out this long wooden case, unlatches and opens up, and you see these series of unique-looking, metallic rods, each about between four to six inches long and they're made of different materials and different shapes, and some of them look twisted, some of them look they're made of a bright golden bronze metal. There's one that you see that has a glowing red hue to it. The small pieces of metal that hold it themselves look like they're made of different material as well. There's one that looks like a jet black coloration with a vein of red going through it.

LAURA: What is that one for?

MATT: "You don't want to know."

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: Reaches over and grabs one that looks like a gnarled root about that long. As she goes and touches it and pulls it, you watch as two flowers spontaneously bloom on it.

SAM: Cool!

LAURA: Awesome!

MATT: She goes and takes one, plucks it, puts it in your hair.

SAM: Oh!

MATT: Closes her case, puts it back in the pouch.

ASHLEY: Just my color.

MATT: "All right. (shouts) Cuddle up! It's going to be a ride!"

LIAM: Holy shit! We're going off world.

ASHLEY: Oh! You guys, this is going to be so fun!

SAM: I hope I don't kill you.

TALIESIN: Let's go.

MATT: She goes and places the rod between her hands and she begins to trace--

MARISHA: What?

MATT: -- up in the air around her begins to carve this circle in the air, and as she does, you watch as the air divides and splits, like she uses a knife through silk. You watch as the silk begins to fall forward.

TRAVIS: Oh!

MATT: There is this spiral.

TRAVIS: Cool!

MATT: This tunnel of energy. (wind sucks) As she carves around this large circle, as the rest of this silk of reality falls forward, leaving this opening to this--

SAM: Cool.

MATT: (sucks air) constantly swirling, endless tunnel, she walks around it and goes, "Well, get in," and pushes you all into it. (exclaiming)

TALIESIN: Yeah!

TRAVIS: Aah!

MATT: You all immediately (whooshes) being pulled through, free falling, grabbing onto each other--

ASHLEY: Woo!

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: -- before (heavy impacts), you all land out the opposite side--

MARISHA: Uh!

MATT: -- into this soft, spongy ground. Dark lit. The space around you is unfamiliar and disorienting. The space around you is unfamiliar and disorienting. You're not entirely certain for a few moments what's up, what's down before you all come to stop and rest. (pants)

TALIESIN: That was amazing.

LAURA: Are we here?

ASHLEY: (creepily) Welcome.

TRAVIS: Ooh, ooh! Ooh-hoo!

MATT: You now see yourself in a creepy, magical marshland of stacking gnarled trees that twist in odd directions to form a large, web-like ceiling of corkscrew branches and trunks in all directions for hundreds of feet. You don't even see a canopy of leaves. It's just a lattice work of trees that twist around each other and bend leaving little gaps and just a hint of this pinkish purple skylight that occasionally peeks through.

TALIESIN: Fearne, is this your vibe?

ASHLEY: It is absolutely my vibe.

TALIESIN: Okay.

ASHLEY: And welcome to my home. (laughter)

MATT: Amongst all this large web-like structure of branches, you can see there's a vibrant blue and green moss that blots out in chunks of the multicolored bark that surrounds this, giving its own ever undulating glow in this space. These massive ferns and bushes that gather around the base of these trees and the floor that you stand on where you landed is this very thick spongy moss that, as you press it with your arms, you can feel the moisture, like you're at the very top of a very shallow bog or swamp. (squishes) You hear the ever-present sound of deep-calling toads (deeply croaks) mysterious gibbering fauna echoing through the wilds. (high-pitched squawks) (quick flaps) (chitters)

TRAVIS: Can I (sniffs) with Hunter's Bane? And is it just like (boof)?

MATT: Everywhere! This is the, "I've seen infinity," moment for a blood hunter who's only encountered a handful of fey in their time.

TRAVIS: We're okay. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Does anyone else feel like they may have taken too much? Oh boy!

MARISHA: I still have that baggy of weird drugs.

TRAVIS: Not right now!

MARISHA: All right. Sorry.

SAM: (laughs)

MATT and ASHLEY: (laugh)

TALIESIN: Maybe later-- Maybe not that later.

LIAM: You don't want to stack.

TALIESIN and TRAVIS: (laugh)

MARISHA: I mean... It just feels like the right environment.

ASHLEY: No better time than any, I guess.

LAURA: Do you recognize this, Fearne?

LIAM: Yeah, do you have any idea where we are?

ASHLEY: Yeah, I know exactly where we are.

LIAM: Do you?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: Insight check!

TALIESIN: Thank you.

SAM: (laughs)

MATT: Make a persuasion or deception check, however you believe her.

LAURA: However you believe.

MATT and LAURA: (laugh)

LIAM: Whatever your faith may be.

ASHLEY: I know where I am. I know where I am. It's a natural one.

MATT and SAM: (laugh)

MARISHA: I rolled a two for a four.

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: So you're just that bad at lying.

MARISHA and LAURA: (laugh)

ASHLEY: I'm pretty sure I know where we are.

MARISHA: All right.

ASHLEY: This is pretty close. Pretty close to home. We just go this way.

LIAM: So which way?

MATT: Make a survival check, Fearne.

SAM: Survival! Come on, find it.

ASHLEY: 22.

SAM: Ooh!

MATT: 22. Not bad.

TRAVIS: Yeah, just five was good.

MATT: You glance around and you look at the small flowers that are peeking off the sides of the trees. As you approach, you watch these tiny, little bright orange and red and a deep green coloration on the petals. As you approach, they open across the tree and some of them seem to be leaning in your direction.

ASHLEY: Hey! This way, right? Thank you. It's been a while. Love you. Bye.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: They all nod towards you.

MARISHA: Wait, do you know them?

TRAVIS: What? What?

ASHLEY: I know pretty much everything here.

LAURA: Wow!

MARISHA: Wow!

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I think we may have made a mistake.

ASHLEY and LAURA: (laugh)

LIAM: Okay.

ASHLEY: Right this way. Right this way.

SAM: This is great!

LAURA: Is Fearne a little bit weirder right now?

MATT: Now this is an interesting point. When you look at Fearne, she's Fearne, but there's something different about her. Her features are sharper. Her eyes are bigger and deeper. The ears seem to be longer. Her limbs seem to be slightly exaggerated.

LAURA: What the fuck?

MATT: There's this--

MARISHA: Hag-like?

MATT: -- otherworldly air about her that is just unique.

LAURA: Are you a fucking hag?

TALIESIN: Did we change animators? (laughter)

ASHLEY: Did what? (laughter)

TALIESIN: Sorry. Too real, too real. Sorry.

TRAVIS: Aha! (laughter)

LIAM: I'm imagining-- I'm envisioning really dark, dilated goat eyes right now.

ASHLEY: Oh yes! With huge pupils.

LIAM: Yeah

MATT: It's upsetting at a first glance.

TALIESIN: Does everybody else look normal?

MATT: Everyone else looks normal.

LAURA: Hmm.

TALIESIN: You've got a vibe.

ASHLEY: I think I look a little different when I leave here.

LAURA: Mm-hmm. Just a little.

ASHLEY: Yeah?

LAURA: A little bit. Yeah.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: You are a little creepy and I'm kind of here for it.

ASHLEY: Really!?

MARISHA: Yes!

TALIESIN: It's working.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Thanks! Yeah

MARISHA: Your arms look nice and slim and--

ASHLEY: Oh!

MARISHA: -- you can see your muscle structure.

ASHLEY: Sometimes, I can be pretty strong.

LIAM: I think she's a little taller, too.

ASHLEY: Probably. Yeah.

TALIESIN: Could just be posture.

LIAM: You were already tall.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I do stand a little bit taller.

SAM: Do we all look different or just you?

LAURA and TALIESIN: Just her.

ASHLEY: Just me.

TALIESIN: I feel a little cheated, too.

SAM: I don't have feet or anything?

LIAM: How's your wheel doing in the bog?

SAM: It's okay. It's all-terrain.

LAURA: Oh!

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: I think your tongue might have gotten longer.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: (angry sigh)

SAM: Only when I lie. (laughter)

TALIESIN: That's solid.

ASHLEY: Okay. I think we go this way.

LAURA: All right.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LIAM: Lead the way.

TRAVIS: As Fearne is guiding us, and my senses are exploding, I have advantage to track fey, fiend, and undeads. Can I look for tracks of any unnatural size or nature that might be alarming?

MATT: Sure. Yes, you may. Make a survival check with advantage.

TRAVIS: Natural 20.

SAM: Ooh!

LAURA: Nice!

LIAM: Yes!

MARISHA: (claps)

SAM: I got a bonus.

MATT: Natural 20.

TALIESIN: (whistles) You look around and you don't see any heavy imprints in the spongy material around there. What you do notice is fresher patches of moss. As you go and approach the slight variation and coloration, it looks like a tree was ripped out of the ground and the moss just grew over it.

SAM: Fresh cut moss.

MATT: And then another and then another and then another.

MARISHA: It's your alter ego. Evil twin.

SAM: Uh huh.

LAURA: (gasps) Oh, like it's walking.

MATT: But it's not an imprint, it's a removal.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: It's like something rooted, tearing itself free, repeatedly.

LAURA: Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

SAM: Sure.

LAURA: Uh-huh.

SAM: That's normal.

TRAVIS: Whoa!

LAURA: Uh-huh.

LIAM: Should we be... No, I didn't see it.

LAURA: Is there--

SAM: Are there dangers?

LAURA: Yes.

ASHLEY: Of course!

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: In regards to your grandmother, though, is there anything we should definitely not do in her presence?

LIAM: Right, we're on your home turf now. What's the custom?

TRAVIS: Do we need to bring--

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: -- presents? Doo doo?

LAURA: Something we should say? Something to make her--

ASHLEY: Just tell her, you know, show her your excitement for being here and if she offers you anything, it's rude if you don't take a drink or a pie or anything like that. She loves to entertain. She's a real chatterbox, you know? She really wants somebody to listen and that's really what we all want, right?

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

ASHLEY: So just sit and hear her and see her, I think.

LIAM: And we're going to go see her regardless, but we're all safe.

ASHLEY: Of course! Why would you not be?

SAM: Around grandma?

LAURA and LIAM: Uh...

ASHLEY: I know this place is intense, but you're going to be fine. You're going to be fine.

MATT: At that point, you hear (heavy flaps) something massive in the trees above takes off and (flaps)

SAM: It found me here.

MARISHA, TRAVIS, and MATT: (laugh)

SAM: It knows where I am.

TRAVIS: It's okay, FCG. It's all right.

ASHLEY: (shouts) Dr. Nesbitt?

TALIESIN: What? Oh.

MATT: No response.

SAM: That's her friend who's a bird.

ASHLEY: We'll meet him later. All right, let's go.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

MATT: You begin to follow Fearne through this odd landscape. It rises and falls, and as it falls, it grows damp, as it rises, it grows more damp. You see these puddles, but the puddles seem to curve over the top as you step over them, defying the physics of water in other places you've walked or been. As you step around it, occasionally, you watch it seep in and the ground descends and other parts rise. You begin to feel like the landscape itself is slowly breathing around you, like the actual surroundings is its own living organism. You almost swear you could hear breathing. Almost. Almost. Continuing to trek forward, you notice more of these flowers among the trees and as you walk through, some recoil and tremble, some hide and close their bulbs. But as you pass by, regardless of their state they still track you as you go.

SAM: Oh!

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: Watching you as a group.

LAURA: They all have personalities?

ASHLEY: I don't know. I guess so. But they do sing.

LAURA: Really?

ASHLEY: Yeah!

MARISHA: They seem so afraid of us.

ASHLEY: Well, that's just because they don't know you.

MARISHA: Are we being rude? Should we make our acquaintance?

ASHLEY: If you'd like.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MARISHA: Yeah?

ASHLEY: Yeah, just say, "Hello," or just sing a tune or give it a sniff.

SAM: Mm.

MARISHA: Oh god, Matt's being a creepy flower. (laughter)

MATT: I'm literally just listening to you, but sure. (laughter)

MARISHA: You look creepy.

MATT: Good.

LAURA: You're being so creepy right now.

MATT: I'm looking at my wife! Oh no! (laughter)

TRAVIS: Oh babe, you're such a creepy flower.

LIAM: You fucking creeper. (laughter)

MATT: I have some things to evaluate tonight. (laughter)

MARISHA: Okay, just--

ASHLEY: I'll come with you.

MARISHA: All right, come. Because like, you know. Sometimes it's better if you have a friend, you know, making the introduction.

ASHLEY: Of course. Of course.

MARISHA: All right.

ASHLEY: I'm going to touch one of the flowers underneath.

MATT: As you touch it you watch the bud open up into this beautiful, blue-green, almost aquamarine coloration to it. As you run your fingers across it the tips go to a dark purple and eventually match the black at the tips of your fingers. It almost seems to reach for you.

ASHLEY: Do you want to touch it?

MARISHA: Um--

ASHLEY: It gets a little tingly.

MARISHA: Oh. May I touch you? ♪ Pretty, pretty flower ♪ She said sing to it, right?

MATT: Mm-hmm.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: As you sing to it, it quivers a little bit.

MARISHA: Ooh, it's getting aroused.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MARISHA: Okay. (breathy) Ah.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: You touch the flower and it leans into your hand.

MARISHA: Ooh.

MATT: Just leans, letting the faintest bit of weight that a flower can do into your palm and the colors shift a little bit back from that green-blue-teal to that black.

MARISHA: (gasps) Oh my goodness.

ASHLEY: I know. Aren't they marvelous?

MARISHA: Oh. It's being so sweet.

ASHLEY: I know.

MARISHA: Oh, you're so cute.

MATT: It definitely responded to the touch and the brief sound of your voice.

MARISHA: I give it a little tickle. Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.

MATT: (flower closes up)

MARISHA: Oh!

MATT: It withdraws back into the tree.

TRAVIS: Too much?

MARISHA: I might have been overzealous.

MATT: A few other ones (flowers opening) above.

MARISHA: Okay. (laughter)

TRAVIS: (breathily) Tickle us. (deeply) Tickle us!

MARISHA: (laughs)

LAURA: Maybe just--

MARISHA: In a hurry.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah. Just--

MARISHA: In a hurry. Just wanted to say nice to meet you ♪ I'm Laudna ♪

MATT: As you sing a minute and say ♪ Ooh Laudna ♪ and hold the note, they all quiver.

MARISHA: (gasps) Ooh!

ASHLEY: Aw!

TRAVIS: Cool, cool, cool. Fuck that.

MARISHA: (laughs) (hums) Oh my gods.

ASHLEY: They respond to voice.

SAM: That's really cool.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: Okay. ♪ Tootle-oo ♪ (laughs) Hold my hand, I'm scared.

ASHLEY: Okay. I'm coming. (laughter)

ASHLEY: I know it's a lot.

MARISHA: All right.

LAURA: I love that Laudna, you get scared of flowers. (laughter)

LIAM: ♪ You can learn a lot of things ♪

LIAM and LAURA: ♪ From the flowers ♪

MATT: Initially, a curious occasional patch of flowers would open. Now that you've made a connection, (flowers opening) many, many flowers are emerging in the nearby trunks and branches and bushes. Some growing almost instantly. You watch as in just a matter of seconds the sapling (grows and pops open), and leans towards you, like the whole space is yearning.

MARISHA: This is overwhelming, it feels like they all want my attention. I just don't have the bandwidth right now.

ASHLEY: Sure, but they really like you. This doesn't usually happen.

MARISHA: (hums)

MATT: (flowers opening)

ASHLEY: You can do whatever you like, you don't have to stay.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. They won't get offended?

ASHLEY: They won't get offended.

MARISHA: All right. We're in such a hurry, but I'll just--

LAURA: (laughs)

MARISHA: I'll try and do a little, you know, a run-by, little reaching out of the hands as much as I can.

TRAVIS: High fives?

MARISHA: High fives, yeah, like I'm running through a stadium.

TRAVIS: BTS concert?

MARISHA: Yes, exactly.

MATT: The flowers are like (flowers getting whacked) (laughter)

MATT: You're just smashing a bunch of flowers into the tree trunks and they're all (flowers closing up), they're all withdrawing.

SAM: Oh, oh no.

MARISHA: Gently, I'm gently caressing them. (laugher)

LIAM: Oh, creepier. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Yeah, see how it works. (laughter)

MATT: They all (flowers withdrawing) at once withdraw.

SAM: Hmm.

MATT: Suddenly all the color in the space around you leaves at once.

TRAVIS: Leaves? Nice.

LAURA: Has that happened before, what is that?

ASHLEY: I don't know.

MARISHA: (laughs)

SAM: Maybe we should just go. Maybe we should just go--

LAURA: Let's just get going

SAM: -- to where we're supposed to go.

LAURA: Get to Grammy's.

LIAM: Just a bad speed dating moment.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: You hear this (nature groaning). The sound of shifting, creaking wood on a large scale and colliding branch and vine (forest shifting) as bits of moss and fungus and other rotting flora dusts from above as you see one of the twisting trees nearby (tree shifting) lift one of its twisted trunks out of the ground. (tree shifting) This trunk itself, about 10-15 feet across.

LAURA: Whoa.

MATT: As it lifts up, (trunk heavily stepping) right across from the direction you were about to travel, As it hits you watch as the roots expand and stick into the ground. You hear that loud creaking sound as the tree seems to almost be lowering in your direction.

LIAM: They went and got their mom.

TALIESIN: We should've taken a rest.

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

ASHLEY: We're okay. We're okay. We're okay.

MATT: As it gets lower and lower and lower until it's about 10 feet above you--

SAM: Oh god.

MATT: -- other branches begin to almost be forming a cage--

ASHLEY: We're fine.

SAM: We're fine?

MATT: -- around you. (tree moving powerfully)

LAURA: Tell me this is your grandmother, Fearne.

ASHLEY: It's just the trees.

SAM: (laughs weakly)

TALIESIN: How can you tell if you're fine with those?

MATT: It's not so tight where you couldn't leave, but the trees-- It's hard to tell if it's multiple trees or one huge tree with a thousand branches and trunks. You're not sure where they begin or end between each other. They're so tangled into each other to create this weird shifting lattice-scape above you. But now they've shrunken in in a matter of moments to create this loose cage around your troop to the point where the light above in the canopy is almost not visible from where you stand and there's this ominous pressure to keep you where you are.

LIAM: Hello? ♪ We must be going ♪ ♪ We came to say we're sad ♪ to say we must be going ♪

MATT: 100 flowers pop out--

LIAM: ♪ I'm glad we came ♪

MATT: -- of the tree around you.

LIAM: ♪ But all the same ♪ ♪ We must be going, ala ♪

MATT: As you're singing they all shake a little bit and almost sway.

LIAM: Start to slowly, while smiling, move towards what little exit there is.

MATT: You towards that direction and the tree shifts to block your exit.

SAM: Oh no.

TALIESIN: I feel like there's a failure to communicate here of some kind.

LIAM: Fearne, can you talk to--

ASHLEY: Yes, yes.

LIAM: -- your friends?

ASHLEY: Hey. (laughs)

SAM: I'm going to tap you with some Guidance.

ASHLEY: Okay. We need to go to Nana's. So can you guide us there, or--?

MATT: You can make an insight or nature check, your choice.

ASHLEY: Not nature. Natural one.

LAURA: Oh no!

MARISHA: Isn't that two in a row?

ASHLEY: Yep.

MATT: It's been a little bit since you've been here, and even in the time that you spent, most of it was in Nana's house.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I've never been out here.

MATT: You don't feel threatened--

LAURA: Oh, great.

MATT: But they don't act like this around you.

ASHLEY: No.

MATT: You're a little confused.

SAM: Is it me? It's me. I'm doing this.

ASHLEY: Maybe it is.

MARISHA: Don't internalize this.

SAM: Maybe it's the metal.

LAURA: Maybe it's because you smashed some of the flowers.

MARISHA: What? I didn't smash them.

SAM: Hey, now you're blaming!

MARISHA: I love-tapped them.

LAURA: No, no, no, I was just saying.

SAM: She was just dead a few days ago.

MARISHA: Fuck, I was. (laughter)

TALIESIN: We've all had a long week.

SAM: Let's not turn on each other.

LIAM: Ashton had the whole cooking thing.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I'm still about halfway through that shit.

SAM: How do we get away from these trees? What do they want? Can you ask them that?

ASHLEY: Sure. I'm going to lean into one of the flowers. Um, could you tell Nana that I'm here, please? And why are we being held under this tree?

MATT: Do you have Speak with Plants?

SAM: You're just talking.

TALIESIN: I mean, why not?

SAM: I assumed you would have Speak With Plants. You're a druid. (laughter)

ASHLEY: I do not.

MATT: The flower--

MARISHA: It's very situational, the spell.

MATT: Make a persuasion check with disadvantage. This is only viable because of your fey nature.

ASHLEY: Oh, I rolled a 20. Okay. Persuasion, you said?

MATT: Yes.

ASHLEY: 26.

LAURA: Oh!

MARISHA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Disadvantage.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Disadvantage?

ASHLEY: That was disadvantage. I rolled a 20 and a 17.

MATT: Some of the flowers recoil a little bit and some of them lean towards Laudna.

MARISHA: Jeez.

MATT: Some of them lean towards you and they shift expectantly like they're waiting for something.

LAURA: Oh.

SAM: Oh, the singers, the singers.

MARISHA: Right, we need to sing. So here's what I think. We can do a little two eight-count routine.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: It has a forward box-step motion and we do a little song and a dance as we move through.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: Sure.

ASHLEY: That sounds great.

MARISHA: You know?

LAURA: Unless they want to keep us here because of the singing.

SAM: Yeah, maybe you just have to sing well and we can leave?

TALIESIN: Oh no.

MARISHA: Has anyone ever done parades, you know?

ASHLEY: Oh!

MARISHA: Like a little, we walk and sing.

ASHLEY: I take out my pan flute.

LAURA: ♪ Can you let us out ♪

TALIESIN: Oh.

LAURA: ♪ We want to leave your cage ♪

MATT: Some of them shift and focus in your direction.

SAM: Oh boy.

SAM: Are you going to do this?

LAURA: ♪ I'm just asking for ♪

SAM: I'm going to cast Enhance Ability on her for charisma.

LAURA: ♪ An opening ♪

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: I'm playing my pan flute.

LAURA: ♪ That's probably better ♪

MATT: Okay, so you start singing, you start playing your pan flute. Okay. A lot of the flowers--

MARISHA: ♪ Pretty flowers ♪ ♪ Can you let us out ♪ What was your tune? I lost it.

LAURA: Dude, I was making any tune.

MARISHA: Fuck.

MATT: More flowers (popping open) all emerging from the-- You can hear the outside of the trunk cracking as more flowers are digging their way out to open up and listen to the presence--

SAM: ♪ Diggin' their way ♪

MATT: -- of this din that you're creating.

LAURA: Oh god.

SAM: Should we all form an a capella group?

LAURA: Don't you have a music box?

MARISHA: I think so.

ASHLEY: I gave that away. I gave that to--

TRAVIS: (blows tuning whistle)

SAM: (a capella doo-wop)

MATT: But they're responding to the pan flute and the soft singing.

LAURA: Okay.

ASHLEY: I'm going to keep playing my pan flute.

LAURA: Can you walk towards the edge?

ASHLEY: ♪ Do do do do do ♪

MATT: I would like you both to make performance checks for me, please.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TRAVIS: ♪ I just died in your ♪

LIAM: Come on!

TRAVIS and LAURA: ♪ Arms tonight ♪

SAM: You have advantage.

TRAVIS and MARISHA: ♪ Must've been something you said ♪

LAURA: Natural 20.

ASHLEY: Yes!

SAM: Ooh!

LAURA: And a one, so thank you. (laughter)

LAURA: On the same die. Wait, that's the coolest.

MATT: Yeah, take a picture of that shit. Fearne?

ASHLEY: 21.

SAM: Ooh!

MATT: 21.

LIAM: ♪ Should have walked away ♪

MATT: Your flute music is intoxicating in this space. You play well in general, but there's something about being back home that brings this comfort and the clarity of the pipes of the flute begins to slide around, almost... jazz-like.

SAM: (gasps)

LAURA: (laughs)

SAM: Chaotic.

ASHLEY: (jazzy pan flute) (laughter)

TALIESIN: Pan flute jazz.

MATT: There it is. (laughter)

TALIESIN: That's where we're at.

MATT: As the flowers seem to move and shift with it, you continue to sing along with it and you--

SAM: Scatting?

LAURA: Scatting. ♪ (scatting) ♪

MATT: Sure, by all means.

LAURA: No, I ain't doing that.

MARISHA: Everybody, jazz hands.

ASHLEY: Jazz hands.

TALIESIN: Jazz hands.

MARISHA: Jazz hands, everybody.

ASHLEY: Jazz hands help.

MATT: As you do this, some of the heavy tree roots rise and (trees walking heavily)

LAURA: ♪ (scatting) ♪

SAM and LAURA: (laugh)

MATT: Trying to keep in time of this weird, fluid, jazz beat that you're crafting.

MARISHA: You can't. It's impossible.

MATT: But it's trying. As you slowly begin to slide your way out one-by-one from between this tree trunk cavernous cage, all the flowers shift and stretch towards you. The tree cave begins to open up as the parts dislodge, (tree creaking) and reconnect to larger tree branches. All the flowers, now hundreds and hundreds of them, their coloration getting to a deeper and deeper red in unison as they all face your direction, giving this weird blanket of color in front of you in the middle of this dark green and purple jungle. Right as you step about 30 or 40 feet away, all hundreds and hundreds of flowers at once, (screeching) (screaming)

MATT: Just screech and then vanish into the tree as the tree stops moving.

LIAM: Oh, the whole party screamed like that for sure.

LAURA: Yeah. (laughter)

SAM: Are we free?

LAURA: Go, go!

LIAM: Are we good?

SAM: Get out of here!

LAURA: Let's get out of here! Go towards your grandma's, go! Go, go, go.

ASHLEY: Right this way, right this way.

MARISHA: Did they like it?

ASHLEY: Yes, yes, they loved it.

MATT: Yeah. Flowers can't clap.

ASHLEY: No.

LAURA: Oh wow.

ASHLEY: That's a yes, they loved it. Are you kidding? You couldn't hear that?

TALIESIN: I feel very unprepared for this environment.

SAM: Oh man.

MARISHA: Jazz hands.

SAM: Jazz hands.

ASHLEY: It's all right. It's a little different here when things really like something.

LIAM: We've been here 10 minutes.

TALIESIN: Not even.

SAM: Jazz is chaos.

LAURA: Jazz is chaos.

ASHLEY: Such chaos.

MATT: But you also pick up a familiar scent.

TALIESIN: Oh.

MATT: The smell of burning oils, oils that are squeezed from some of the swamp roots. The lanterns that your Nana uses. You're close.

LAURA: Did you break your hand jazz-handing?

ASHLEY: I can smell it.

MARISHA: Carpal tunnel. It hurts. My joints aren't as supple as they used to be. Oh, thank you Chetney, it's better.

ASHLEY: Hey, Chetney.

TRAVIS: Huh?

ASHLEY: Do you smell that?

TRAVIS: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

ASHLEY: Let's go. I'm going to follow the scent.

MATT: Okay, easy enough for you to do.

TRAVIS: You're going towards it?

ASHLEY: Yes, that's where Nana's house is.

TRAVIS: Oh god.

MATT: Following Fearne as she Toucan Sams her way through-- (laughter)

MATT: -- the pathway of this--

TALIESIN: The occasional loop-de-loop.

MATT: Tangled morass.

TALIESIN: There's like an actual string of spell.

MATT: Yeah. (laughs)

LIAM: Feet lifting off the ground.

ASHLEY: Yeah. (laughter)

SAM: (like Yogi Bear) A pic-a-nic basket.

MATT: The rest of you--

MARISHA: Toucan Sam's catchphrase. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Jumping off the rails there, but I see where you landed.

LIAM: (like Fearne) Just follow my nose. It always knows.

TALIESIN: What a bad rhyme. I didn't notice until just now.

MATT: Indeed.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: Through Fearne's focus and smile, you begin to excitedly leap and bound through the bits. It's a little challenging for the rest of you to keep up, but you do your best. You can't help but notice every now and then in the deep shadow, beyond hundreds of feet of roots and trees and trunks, large shadows shift and move up above and around, unable to quite make out what they are before they've stopped moving, or they've moved from sight. You're uncertain if it's actually something or if it's just you. But it's disconcerting. You hope sticking close to her will be enough to keep you safe. Eventually, the marshlands get thicker and thicker, and then all at once, break open into a spherical, dome-like opening amongst them. This hidden glade amongst this heavy, twisted, bramble-like wall of trees and branches. bramble-like wall of trees and branches. In here, you see an enormous tree-like structure in the center, enshrouded in an endless tangle of teal moss-covered vines that seem to protrude and then dangle hundreds of feet down the outside of it to the point where you cannot see the tree itself. It looks like a massive, natural pom-pom, or a frozen waterfall of streamers of deep green and teal, completely obfuscating the center of the tree. You can see faintly glowing flowers of red and purple as well that occasionally peek through, familiar from the surroundings. This tree rises 100 feet or more up, scraping the top of this dome, open space. The shape of the tree implies a dozen or more massive, thick branches that curve and rise out of its sides. The blanket of vines dangling over that to be like drapes that bound and then fall, and fall and then stop as they dangle like a weeping willow at all sides of it. You cannot see the true details, but you do pick up, within this endless cluster of vines, but you do pick up, within this endless cluster of vines, hundreds of small nests, empty wooden cages, lanterns that still flicker, a small flame within, and many, many unique wreaths that have all been tied throughout, subtly decorating it on all sides. The air here hangs with a heavy weight, a presence that leaves your breath thick and chilled. Welcome home, Fearne.

ASHLEY: Do you feel that?

LAURA: In your chest?

ASHLEY: Yeah, that warmth, that happy warmth.

SAM: No, but you seem to be glowing with happiness, so go see your Nana.

ASHLEY: Okay. I'm going to start booking it to the front door.

MATT: She starts running.

ASHLEY: To the front.

TALIESIN: She lives in the tree all covered in vines.

MARISHA: It's pretty nice.

LAURA: It's really beautiful.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

ASHLEY: It's a beautiful house.

MATT: As she charges up to it, you're like, "Is she going to climb the vines? Where is it going?" Then she gets within five feet, you watch as a large section of the vines pull apart like curtains or drapes. Immediately, you can see the beyond that the shadowed interior, just the faintest bit of warm, flickering firelight sourced somewhere within the canopy.

LAURA: Wow.

MATT: Do you follow?

SAM: Yeah!

LAURA: Sure.

SAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: With a healthy gait between.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay. She is darting and ascending up, I assume.

ASHLEY: Oh yes.

MATT: Skipping ahead of them.

ASHLEY: Yes, full speed. Full sprint.

MATT: You step within the tree, and you can see the actual trunk of this structure. and you can see the actual trunk of this structure. This is probably the largest tree you've seen aside from the Sun Tree. It's comparable in its thickness.

LAURA: Wow.

MATT: You can tell, about 30 feet up, it splits into two separate trunks that then wrap around each other in a corkscrew upward. Along the corkscrew, multiple branches that settle off as you look up, and each one of these little branches seems to caress, like a hand, a little hut or a room with little wooden bridges that connect, with little wooden staircases that wind up.

TRAVIS: Shut up.

MARISHA: Full "Swiss Family Robinson" house over here.

MATT: "Swiss Family Robinson" would blush and be jealous of this abode.

MARISHA: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Okay.

LAURA: Fearne, you grew up here?

ASHLEY: Yes!

MATT: Just as a voice fills the air, (elderly woman) "Enter. We knew you were coming."

ASHLEY: (gasps) Nana?!

MATT: You hear that from above, and the stairs, you can see now the base of the trunk of the tree, there are wooden stairs that spiral up the side like they're grown out of it, like a series of natural branches pushed out and stopped and gave a flat step each way as they mark their way up along the side. You know this path well. Fearne vanishes up them.

LIAM: We'll follow.

TALIESIN: Yeah, okay.

MATT: As you ascend them, you can see, dangling from the not quite as dense hanging vines and tethered bits of limp fern branches that tickle the top of your head as you push through, there are little glowing baubles that are wrapped up with wire and twine that give a soft glow, different colored glow, some green, some orange, some a pale blue. This place is intentionally decorated in a very odd, patchwork way, but it... It's hard to grasp a presence specifically here. At times, it's beautiful and welcoming. At times, it's borderline nightmarish. But as you climb up the side of this, you eventually come to where the base of the fork of the trunk begins. There, you're greeted by a low-lit, cozy entryway, a flat expanse at the base of where the split is. You can see it's decorated in knitted dolls, placed on little naturally warped tables. You can see animal skeletons that have been posed in dancing positions with each other that are placed up on little shelves and along the sides of the entryway. You can see alien-looking potted plants that seem to be taking root on their side of the room and guarding it fiercely. More of the staircases and rope bridges you can see begin to splinter off from here and lead higher and higher up through the tree. "Oh, Fearne."

ASHLEY: (gasps)

MATT: "How we have missed you."

ASHLEY: I've missed you so bad! I run over and I just leap into her arms.

MATT: You see her leap into this shape, this shadowed shape on the opposite side of this area that grabs her for a second and sets her down.

LIAM: What's the size comparison?

MATT: The shoulders of this sit at about eight or so feet, seven, eight feet.

LIAM: So higher than Fearne.

MATT: The shoulders are wide. In fact, the torso, from what you can tell, is like a barrel, like a massive, seven-foot barrel. It's a curious monstrous body that, after setting her down, shifts in your direction and begins to step further into the light. One arm corralling her as you pull it towards them. It's swathed in a large, patterned, blue-green, robe-like dress that's comprised of patches and rope and wayward branches and hanging trinkets all wound together to create this unique texture around this body. to create this unique texture around this body. You cannot see feet from beneath the robes, but can hear them hit the ground like a dropped sack of full flour with each step. (booming)

LAURA: Does it sound like just two feet?

MATT: Sounds like two feet.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Just big ones. The wide shoulders are thin. They come out like pointed, skeletal shoulders, the sleeves extending these long, thin arms. You see, around the top of the dress from where these shoulders are, they're obscured by a bunch of dark linen and chiffon that creates a mantle around it. From within that mantle, you watch emerge a head on a stretching, craning neck. (laughter)

MATT: Craning like a giraffe.

LAURA: What the fuck.

MATT: Wreathed in long, tangled white hair, like a horse's mane that travels down the whole length of it as it (creaking) extends about two and a half, three feet from the shoulders. At the end of it, you see a wrinkled old woman's face At the end of it, you see a wrinkled old woman's face with a pair of noseless nostril holes, a terrifying wide smile of jagged teeth. a terrifying wide smile of jagged teeth. Her dark, eyeless sockets each hold a sunken golden glow. As the body steps forward cradling Fearne, the full thing at standing height would be close to 10 feet or so if the head were to stand up straight. The proportions, colloquially, are very similar to E.T., to be honest.

SAM: Oh wow.

TALIESIN: Oh, that got weird.

LAURA: Interesting.

MATT: As she steps forward, "Fearne, would your friends like a cocktail?" "Fearne, would your friends like a cocktail?"

TALIESIN: Oh my god, yes.

ASHLEY: Yes, yes.

TALIESIN: Please.

ASHLEY: Let's get some cocktails, let's put some music on. I'm sorry we came in unannounced, but guys, this is my Nana Morri.

LAURA: Wonderful to meet you.

TALIESIN: It's so nice to meet you.

SAM: Pleasure to meet you, ma'am.

LIAM: Hi, Nana Morri.

TALIESIN: Hi!

MATT: "Welcome, welcome. We have guests." You hear a voice say, (gravelly, low-pitched) "Welcome as well."

SAM: Oh, does she have a partner?

ASHLEY: No, that's her.

SAM: That's also her?

TALIESIN: More of an echo?

SAM: Okay.

ASHLEY: Show them, Grandma.

MATT: She pulls open the front of the dress and you see, in the barrel torso, a massive pair of sunken eyes and a second mouth that stretches across the entirety of the belly that curls into a smile. "It's a pleasure."

ASHLEY: Goochie, goochie, goochie.

LAURA: Hi.

MATT: She pats it with the larger arms. (Morri 1) "We haven't had guests in a while. We're excited. Come. Let me show you to my tiki bar." (laughter)

MATT: And that's where we're going to end tonight's episode. (clamoring)

TRAVIS: What the hell?

MARISHA: She's so cool!

ASHLEY: Yes!

TALIESIN: Best grandma ever.

ASHLEY: I know!

MARISHA: I want that grandma!

TALIESIN: I want her to be my grandma.

SAM: Holy shit.

ASHLEY: Just wait.

LAURA: Did you know what she looked like?

LAURA: Oh my gosh.

MARISHA: Shit.

TALIESIN: I was hoping you'd make more sense, and now I'm even a little more confused about you.

TRAVIS: Welcome home, Fearne.

ASHLEY: Yes!

TALIESIN: Holy shit.

ASHLEY: Isn't it so beautiful?

SAM: Yes.

TALIESIN: That's amazing.

LAURA: Amazing.

SAM: Welcome back, Taliesin.

ASHLEY: Oh my god, Matt.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

ALL: Yay!

TALIESIN: I have so many more pasta-themed, terrible stories to tell.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

TALIESIN: Such a collection.

LAURA: So we're off next week?

TALIESIN: Oh.

SAM: For the premiere?

MARISHA: For the premiere, yes. It is--

LAURA: All right.

MARISHA: -- whatever I said at the beginning of this is accurate.

MATT: There you go.

MARISHA: Which I believe was no episode next week, but definitely on the last Thursday.

TALIESIN: Last Thursday of the month.

MARISHA: Just a little swapadoo this month.

LIAM: But hey, the premiere.

SAM: The premiere. (cheering)

MATT: Vox Machina Season 2.

SAM: Everybody, please watch it.

MARISHA: Go watch it. We'll be back January 26th.

SAM: You got to watch it. And hey, now's a good time to catch up. Maybe rewatch Season 1 just to prepare.

MARISHA: Yes.

LAURA: That's true.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SAM: Then you'll be ready for Season 2. It's going to be a good one.

MARISHA: It's going to be a good one.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Beautiful.

ASHLEY: Woo!

MATT: All right, friends. We'll pick this up next time. Until then, thank you for joining us, we love you very much, and is it Thursday yet? Good night. (cheering)