Thicker Grows the Meal and Plot

is the ninth episode of the third campaign of Critical Role.

Announcements

 * The Nordverse is back! The hacked Robbie, now a rootkit virus named Setty inside the new Critical Role set, infects Laura, Liam, and "Assley Donkson". This is only possible because Marisha decided to renew the subscription to Matt's Vest of the Month club instead of to Nord VPN. She promises to find a solution... next time on The Nordverse!
 * Second sponsor is Ghostfire Gaming's Fables, a subscription-based set of six-part D&D all-in-one adventures released monthly. The first, Grimhollow Adventure: Citadel of the Unseen Sun, released January 1st. Go to ghostfiregaming.com/fables-criticalrole for discounted subscription.
 * The Legend of Vox Machina will now debut on Friday, January 28, a week in advance of the original air-date.
 * Merch Alert! Now available: a red Eiselcross beanie embossed with "Even we don't know what's here" and a matching scarf.

Previously on Critical Role
''Last we left off, our heroes here, who have been traversing the city of Jrusar, had been on the trail of a few disappearences that have been happening in recent weeks at a theater. They managed to find out what was responsible and destroy this creature that had taken these people's lives. But upon finishing this mystery, a figure nearby overheard that you had completed this appointed risky endeavor to find missing people, an individual named Pock O'Pea, Chetney Pock O'Pea. Upon coming along with your band and asking for their help in finding a missing person that they themself are seeking, you began to search throughout the city, followed the path to where this individual, this Gurge, was currently staying temporarily within the city of Jrusar.''

''Upon inspecting the temporary abode, the hovel in which he was living, you found signs of a struggle. Apparently, some sort of attack had transpired, and you watched marks of him being dragged away, while also hearing of a terrible dire wolf attack in the city. Fearing that this individual may have fallen to the same dire wolf, you spoke for information with the person who had rented them the space and followed the assumed intent that he had been arrested by the local wardens. You had gone over to the nearby factory and spoke with these wardens to see where he may have been.''

''Upon them awkwardly, nervously almost, walking into the factory and locking the gates behind them, Fearne decided to go ahead and inspect secretly in the form of a rat, sneaking through the interior tunnels and heading into one of the side chambers where it seemed the warden with more authority amongst the two you spoke with were having a conversation. Bit shifty of them. Already in a place of mistrust with these wardens assigned to this factory, they turned to leave just as you were there wading out from underneath the door in the tight space. Attempting to turn from where their footfall was, you failed to do so and took just enough damage to pop you out of your rat form. We come in just as Fearne has emerged full bodied in the middle of this small office chamber within the factory, staring now at these three wardens that look at you with surprise, confusion, and a slight shift towards whatever arms they have at their side.''

Part I
Fearne tells the suspicious guards that a pack of dire wolves is right outside, and she came in to get their help, but she fails to convince them and telepathically alerts Imogen to her precarious situation. Ashton tries to break down the outside door and Chetney tries to pick the lock, both unsuccessfully. Fearne, however, is able to cast Charm Person on the head warden, who tells her they were paid to help Artana Voe, an old friend amd bounty hunter who had been hunting Gurge Kisgregg. Gurge has a reputation as a strange wild man, and became a terrifying beast when assaulted. It took four of them to subdue him, and Artana left with his unconscious body while the guards told the neighborhood the fracas had been caused by a dire wolf attack.

Meanwhile, the party's noisy efforts to break through the outside door finally succeed just as the guards and Fearne arrive to investigate. The party is able to talk their way out of it and leave, and Fearne tells them what she learned.

They take this information to Lord Eshteross, who warns them to be cautious about accusing the powerful House Treshi of involvement without firm proof. He tells Orym that The Anger has agreed to meet with him and he will set up a meeting as soon as possible, and that Artana Voe has a sister, Preio Madali, the part-owner and manager of the Soot and Swill Tavern in the Smolder Spire. Lord Eshteross will also try to get the party admitted to an upcoming ball being held in a week for the rich and powerful of Jrusar, where they may be able to learn more.

Outside, the party questions Chetney again about his relationship with Gurge and why finding him is so important. Chetney restates that Gurge has connections to a master craftsman, and Chetney needs work to survive.

Once at the tavern, Preio, the manager, tells Ashton it will take buying an 80 gold bottle of elven plum wine liqueur to make up for whatever happened the last time Ashton was thrown out of the place. Fearne pickpockets from Ashton the Allhammer earring that Ashton stole from her and offers it to Preio as half payment, and Ashton pays another 50 gold on top.

After the party tastes it, FCG gives the rest of the bottle to Preio, and asks her if she knows where Artana Voe is. Preio acts unperturbed by the question and denies that she knows Artana's location. She also says she's not her sister. FCG's high passive insight notices, however, that her eyes flick toward the kitchen when the questions are asked.

Chetney casts Invisibility on himself and sneaks into the kitchen, finding an ogre busily cooking and a second, hidden, door behind what looks to him like a heavy bookcase. He sneaks out and reports this to the party. In order to get the ogre (named Pretty) out of the kitchen so that Dorian, Orym, Ashton, and Chetney can investigate, Fearne orders a meal and then asks to give her compliments to the chef, moving Pretty to tears.

While Pretty is distracted, the others sneak into the kitchen and discover the "bookcase" is a serving cart. Eventually, Chetney manages to pick the lock of the hidden door and they discover a small hidden storage room, holding a cot and a seated uniya woman who immediately aims a heavy crossbow at them.

Break

 * Ghostfire Gaming presents Fables: Citadel of the Unseen Sun, coming 1 January 2022, a subscription-based set of D&D adventures.
 * Official Trailer for The Legend of Vox Machina.
 * Tal'Dorei Campaign Setting Reborn coming 18 January 2022 from Darrington Press.
 * Merch Alert! Eiselcross beanie and scarf, McFarlane Toys' 12" Shaun Gilmore figure, pet bandannas and bow-ties, and Percival de Rolo t-shirt now available in the US, UK, Australia, and Canada shops.
 * Critical Recap every Wednesday on CritRole.com.
 * Submit fan art for possible inclusion in the weekly online gallery at https://www.critrole.com/submit.
 * President Gale's Operation Gag Me With a Spoon is out to reduce maximum goobage by getting more subscribers to Critical Role on Twitch.

Campaign Three adventuring party

 * Ashton Greymoore
 * Chetney Pock O'Pea
 * Fearne Calloway
 * Fresh Cut Grass
 * Imogen Temult
 * Laudna
 * Orym

Returning

 * Ariks Eshteross
 * Dorian Storm
 * Evelyn Wress
 * Keledon, head warden of the Smolder Spire factory

New

 * Artana Voe, an uniya bounty hunter
 * Ira
 * Preio Madali, uniya co-owner of the Soot and Swill Tavern
 * Pretty, the ogre cook at the Soot and Swill Tavern
 * Vali Dertrana, elven or half-elven business commissioner of the Mirror Towers and liaison between Mahaan Houses

Mentioned

 * Andy, a former crush of Laudna's from Whitestone
 * Master Faramore, Imogen's former employer in Gelvaan who has shops around Marquet
 * Gurge Kisgregg
 * Kinkadë, the Painter of Suns
 * House Lumas
 * The Nightmare King
 * Oshad Breshio
 * House Treshi

Quotations

 * Matt: (about his subscription to the Vest of the Month club) These vests are cool.
 * FCG: (discussing Lord Eshteross's sponsorship of the group) When you accept sponsorships, isn't that sort of selling out a little bit?
 * Fearne: Time is a construct that man uses to define change. So be whatever age you want, I guess.

Trivia

 * For this episode, Sam's outfit was a reference to the popular reaction image / meme known as "How do you do, fellow kids?". The line was spoken by Steve Buscemi's character Lenny Wosniak in an episode of 30 Rock.