Have Bird, Will Travel

is the twenty-third episode of the second campaign of Critical Role. After finishing up some loose ends in the Labenda Swamp, the Mighty Nein head to the town of Hupperdook...

Announcements

 * Tonight's sponsor (until their contract expires...hopefully until infinity) is D&D Beyond! The following summary is to be sung to the tune of the theme song from the old "Zorro" TV show:
 * Out of the night! After Sam Riegel took flight, Came the vigilante known as Storro! This masked ad campaign, Arrived to exclaim, "Go to the D&D Beyond Storro!" Storro, Storro! Organizing from his tablet device! Storro, Storro! His foam sword spells a monster's demise!


 * The standard editions of the "Vox Machina: Origins" TPBs are still available on critrole.com and in the Geek & Sundry and Project Alpha online stores. The limited editions are gone.
 * Talks Machina is the Critical Role after-show, on every Tuesday. This week's episode will be discussed next Tuesday, June 19, 2018 at 7:00 pm PDT. Some members of the cast will be talking with our beloved Cabbage Master, Brian W. Foster. They have giveaway prizes for GIF of the Week and Fan Art of the Week, so be sure to SUBMIT them to submit@talksmachina.com. Currently, only the U.S. and Canada (excluding Quebec) are eligible to win, because of dumb rules.
 * Twitch Prime allows you to attach your Amazon Prime account with a Twitch account, to subscribe to a channel for free once a month. So if you can, do so! It's free!
 * Liam has a thing: it's not an announcement, but one of the Critter artists (who has been with the community since the very beginning) took a sketchbook and mailed it around to other artists in the Critter community. Liam presents the sketchbook, which has been traveling all over the planet since 2016. Liam opened it an hour before the show, and he was weeping. Liam thanks the Critters: the cast has the best audience on the planet.

Previously on Critical Role
"So last we left off: The Mighty Nein had been traversing northward towards the Labenda Swamp - to make good on the first of two jobs they had accepted from the Gentleman, back in Zadash.

"Upon traveling northward, you made a young feathered friend by the name of Kiri, who has been under your protection since.

"You briefly met Cali - who was a dragon-blooded Sorcerer - who joined you for a length of the journey. You managed to discover where the seemingly cut-off and abandoned safe house was. Beneath it, discovered what seemed to have been responsible for it going silent - by what seemed to be an underground tunnel network run by swamp merrow.

"You engaged with them, found a strange altar room where they had kind of amassed everything they had stolen from the safe house, slaughtered the present Shallow Priest and his protectors, took what was necessary and what was of interest from that pile (including an interesting orb), made your way back out, closed the pathway the merrow had to the safe house (thus, establishing its true safety once more), and completing the job of which you are tasked. There you spent an evening resting, and began heading back out to return from the northern center of the Labenda Swamp, towards the town of Berleben, and to where the next leg of your journey takes you..."

Part I
Jester reveals that she can send a message to the Gentleman with the Sending spell, to report that the Mighty Nein has completed their first mission. Fjord advises her to wait until the end of the day, before they go to sleep. Jester asks if the party wants to go after the troll and get the 100 gold off Febron's body? Beau points out that she almost died because of the troll...which she admits was pretty awesome. Fjord reminds Jester that the troll bleeds venomous liquid, to which Jester frankly replies that they'll stay far away this time. Beau asks if they have any "boom-boom sticks" left? Nott answers that they have one left, and suggests blowing up the troll's home. Fjord is down for that plan, and puts it to a vote. Fjord, Beau, Yasha, Nott, and Jester vote "yes", and Caleb and Molly vote "no". However, Caleb defers to the group's decision and changes his vote to a "yes". Molly is apparently along for the ride, though he has known a lot of people who have thrown dynamite in houses.

Molly wants the group to come up with a game plan.

Break

 * Animated D&D Beyond add
 * Spellslingers gag reel
 * Good Fortnight Kevin add
 * How To Play: Pitchstorm
 * Wednesday Club 5-minute one-shot: evil scientist plan

Part II
As the Mighty Nein comes to consciousness the following morning (a much more comfortable sleep than they had at the Keystone Pub), they gather their things and plan their day. Jester, Molly, and Yasha decide to go to The Fungal Fount, while Fjord asks Uma to retrieve the cart and horses. Uma asks how she can do so if she wasn't the one to check them into the stables? Jester tries to forge a "valet ticket", but Fjord insists on going to get the horses. Yasha decides to go with him. Caleb goes for a walk on the edge of town, and Nott goes with him. Beau asks Caleb to take Kiri with him. As Jester, Molly, and Beau go to the apothecary, Beau asks what the party is going to do with Kiri? Beau insists that she can't stay with the Mighty Nein. When Jester asks why not, Beau bluntly replies that Kiri will probably die horribly and brutally due to the danger they find themselves in. Jester insists that they can't just let her go, to which Beau assures her that they will leave her somewhere safe. Molly suggests showing her a map and asking her where she thinks her parents might be...or at least which direction they had been heading. Beau states that they at least have to get her out of the swamp: that it's not a good environment for a young bird. Molly points out that she's already started drinking and apparently has developed an interest in Human flesh. Beau imagines that one day she might run Berleben, to which Jester asks if someday Kiri might become her own "Gentleman". Both Jester and Beau have high hopes for Kiri to become a Myriad mob boss. Jester will ask Kiri to describe her parents so Jester can send a message to them with Sending.

Jester, Molly, and Beau arrive at the Fungal Fount. In exchange for the heart Jester presents, Smithe places two vials on the counter: a Potion of Greater Healing and an unfamiliar sky-blue potion.

The Mighty Nein

 * Beauregard
 * Fjord
 * Frumpkin
 * Jester Lavorre
 * Nott
 * Yasha Nydoorin
 * Mollymauk Tealeaf
 * Caleb Widogast

New

 * Uma Cole
 * Smithe Durban
 * Rissa
 * Ruby of the Sea (via Sending)

Returning

 * The Gentleman (via Sending)
 * Kiri
 * Horris Thrym

Mentioned

 * Calianna
 * Febron Keyes
 * Ophelia Mardun
 * Dayana Prucine
 * Dolan Thrym
 * Trevor
 * Yeza

Quotations
Kiri: (like Jester) "Don't stab humans. Don't eat humans. Okay?" Uma Cole: It's called "Feathered Leather". Caleb: Traveler, take the wheel!
 * Nott: Am I able to light the boom-boom stick?
 * Beau: It'll look really cool when you're running away from it, though! When it's, like, exploding...!
 * Liam: Welcome to Critical Role: where we embrace failure!
 * Liam: Fjord Madeline Kahns back to life!
 * Jester: Don't eat human, Kiri. Don't stab humans and don't eat humans, okay?
 * Jester: Horris, do you have a lot of diamonds on you...maybe some that are worth 300 gold?
 * Caleb: I was just curious what it is that you are reading?
 * Beau: The Traveler is my co-pilot, it's okay!
 * Beau: "It's very like, uh...very diverse biodomes in your eyes."
 * Molly: "There's nothing better than waking up in the morning with no pants and flowers in your hair."
 * Nott: "Where are the EDM gnomes?"
 * Molly: "I am offended, even though you are right."

Trivia

 * Sam's giant flask bears a message in this episode that reads "OOPS. I WORE NEXT WEEK'S SHIRT".
 * The episode title, 'Have Bird, Will Travel' is a reference to the "Have X, will travel." ads commonly placed in newspapers as late as the 1950s. These ads were placed in search of work notifiying the laborer looking for work had an object necessary for the work without it having to be provided to them, such as a horse and carriage or cleaning equipment. Starting in the late 50s the phrase was popularized by its use in forms of media, the earliest of which is "Have Gun, Will Travel" an American TV show that premiered in 1957. Other popular iterations include the book "Have Spacesuit, Will Travel." by Robert A. Heinlein in 1958, and the song 'Have Love, Will Travel' by Richard Berry in 1959, and famously covered by The Sonics in 1965.