Transcript:Test of Pride

List of Transcripts

Pre-Show
MATT: Due to apparently a fried motherboard suddenly, we’re not gonna be able to– we’re gonna have to be switching cameras tonight so bear with us. It’s gonna be a lot of one shots. Single shots cutting back and forth. But it’ll still be a great episode. Hope you enjoy. Let’s go ahead and get to these announcements real fast. Those who haven’t seen it, Dragon+ Magazine put up today a new issue in which they interviewed me and a bunch of other great DM’s that stream for West Marches and Real Roleplay and Highrollers and Chris Perkins himself. So go check that out, the new issue of Dragon+ if you get the chance and maybe find some wisdom in there. Also we just released recently, if– unless you guys are releasing it now, a new cell phone wallpaper, featuring some of the amazing photography of our recent group’s photo shoot in costume. So that I think is up on the social media now. Is that right?

LAURA: Mhm.

MATT: Go find it. It is somewhere on the internet.

LAURA: It’s up on Twitter and on Facebook.

MATT: There you go. Twitter and Facebook, go find it. Next up… a really amazing game called Mascarada that I’m lucky to be a part of. It’s on Kickstarter to finish up their big push for the final polish of the game. If you’re looking for a great kind of isometric, beautifully drawn RPG experience, go check out the Kickstarter and if it’s something you wanna help make the best it can possibly be, do so, so go check out Mascarada on Kickstarter. Also, this week, or as of last Friday, the Goblin one-shot that we did with Marisha and Taliesin and a bunch of other fantastic guests is up on the Geek and Sundry website if you haven’t seen it yet. It’s ridiculous and I think you’ll enjoy it. And… Also, as a reminder, that the “How do you want to do this?” sweaters are still up for pre-order in the store.

LAURA: Oh wait, but it has to switch.

SAM: No, it switches.

LAURA: It switches?

SAM: They can switch cameras.

LAURA: Oh.

SAM: Just one at a time.

LAURA: Wait, wait.

MATT: And, we finally have the “How do you want to do this?” T-shirts back in stock in the shop. So those who missed that, we finally, finally got them back up in stock on the website, so if you’re looking for those, they’re available.

LAURA: They’re for pre-order for another week.

TRAVIS: There’s like modeling happening right now.

LAURA: And then, I know there was modeling.

TRAVIS: These European models are in these smoking hot–

ASHLEY: Oh, who? These European models?

TALIESIN: Look, they see something fascinating far away and they’re turning to see it. Oh, look at that.

[audio silence]

MATT: Liam?

LIAM: What? Oh man I hope in the last hour, I hope in the last hour, where you had all this time to kill, you went to Wyrmwood Gaming to get boxes for your dice where you could use the code Critrole.

LAURA and ASHLEY: Critrole!

LIAM: To get free shipping. Not free boxes, but free shipping with Critrole. Also, I think we got one more week on their Kickstarter for the sentinel box, you can get this logo on any box, but–

LAURA: Right here.

LIAM: You could also get the Vox Machina box which is pretty sweet.

LAURA: Inlaid and fancy.

TRAVIS: If you’re nuts.

LIAM: I keep a human heart in here.

LAURA: It’s true.

LIAM: Critrole.

(laughing)

MATT:All right. Anything else, are we good to jump into this game for tonight?

TRAVIS: Light this candle.

LAURA: Let’s do it, oh my gosh.

MATT: Alright folks, let’s go ahead and bring us down back into tonight’s episode of Critical Role.

(spooky ethereal music)

(heavy breathing)

(roaring)

(dramatic music)

(gun firing)

Part I
MATT: Welcome back. So, last we left off, the party having found their way back to the city of Westruun, which had been overrun by the herd of roving nomadic tribal barbarians and other such brigands that wander the landscape of Tal’Dorei that Grog once belonged to, had swooped in and taken Westruun after the Chroma Conclave dragon attack across this countryside. The party had devised a plan to find their way into the town or at least one of them would, distract a cluster of these individuals, these Goliaths, many of which are, you know, half-giant Goliaths pulling them out of the city into a large pit that had been hidden after being carved by the druid Keyleth. Scanlan went in to be the distraction, becoming invisible, leaping to the center of the main town square, right in front of the margrave’s house, where apparently the leader of this clan, Kevdak, which has a long history with Grog, resides. As part of this distraction, Scanlan released a thunderwave and in doing so unknowingly also revealed himself as the invisibility spell went away. And an entire cluster of very angry-looking individuals bear down on him, managed to escape thanks to dimension door, twice and made your way into the partially ruined Temple of Arathis where you came face to face with a number of refugee Westruun villagers and Dr. Dranzel and Kaylee. And that is where we left off. So, after appearing and having a moment of realizing the scenario, you see a handful of people, most of them filthy, completely beleaguered, and in need of not being in this circumstance as long as they possibly can. And you can see Kaylee kinda holding them back defensively and Dranzel, having just noticed your appearance and calling out to you with a chuckle, realizing that you’re here and Kaylee rolling her eyes, apparently unable to really escape through fate, though there is a look, a brief glance of appreciation that at least you’re not burnt to a crisp somewhere outside Emon. But Dranzel walks up to you and is like, as hushed as he can be, “Scanlan, so glad to see that you survived. What are you doing here?”

SAM: Well… Doctor… there will be plenty of time for, for festive reunions and… hopefully tearful hellos but right now I’m afraid we have a bit of problem. See, my friends are stationed outside the main gate, lying in wait for these Goliaths that are terrorizing the town. My mission was to come in here and somehow convince the Goliaths to leave through the main gate and my mission is not complete, and I’m afraid, well, I’ve roused them and they’re going to come in here and kill us al, unless I get them out through the main gate. So, we’re in a bit of a time crunch-- Hi. And Doctor, Doctor, you are such a long friend of mine and a trusted companion but I’m afraid, though I love you, I - you cannot help me. I need Kaylee’s help in this.

MATT: At which point, Dranzel, whose face has fallen into a look of absolute fear and despair to confusion to mild frustration. Continues still glaring in your face, goes, “Well, I guess some things don’t change over time, you son of a bitch. (laughing) “Okay, well, Kaylee?” And he looks over his shoulder and Kaylee kinda steps up now and brushes off her shoulder. “All right, so what kind of business am I getting you out of now, father?”

SAM: Well, not just, not just getting me out of. I’m afraid, I’m afraid we’ll all die if you don’t help.

MATT: “Great, great, that’s fantastic.”

SAM: I’m sorry.

MATT: “You’ve just banished all of these fine folks to their demise. Do you feel good?”

SAM: No, no I haven’t, not if you help, so… Listen, I’ve been thinking a lot about you, and it’s so wonderful to see you and I just need you to trust me in this and, and lend me your talents and your magic if you can. Will you trust me today?

MATT: “Doesn’t seem like I really have much of a choice.” At which point you hear in the outside footfalls, heavy footfalls, going in the street on the outside of the temple and you hear some shouting muffled in the distance. (muffled shouting) (mimics heavy footsteps) Everyone kinda stays really still and silent. And then you… Hear a few more footsteps. (mimics footsteps) (mimics loud crash) On the partially broken door of the temple, some heavy hand falls hit and everyone just kinda ducks down and the air leaves the room entirely. At which point there’s a moment of pause, and the door begins to push open against all the rocks and this barricade that’s been placed against the door slides against the ground, opens ever so slightly. Quiet still stands and you see these fingers come through and pull it and another voice say, “Hey, give me a hand here, this one’s barricaded.” The door slides a couple more inches and you see an arm come through. Now holding against the side of the room. Another arm comes out.

SAM: Shit. Can I grab Kaylee and get everyone to, is there anywhere to hide in this room? Any place in the back?

MATT: We’ll it’s a partially collapsed, like, half-ceiling area that’s part of the temple on the second floor. There is an area beneath the spiral staircase that leads to the second floor that can fit most of the people there.

SAM: Okay. I’m going to very quickly, and with her help, usher everybody back into this back stair.

MATTHEW: Okay.

SAM: Turn around, blow my horn of fog to fill the room partially with smoke.

MATTHEW: Okay.

SAM: And then I’m going to tell Kaylee, can you throw your voice?

MATT: After that. (mimics horn) Just fills with this heavy, heavy mist, obscuring the vision of most everyone in the room that isn’t directly at your side. You hear the voice at the door go, “Hey, what’s that coming out here?” And then now fighting heavily against the door and it’s slamming against the barricade. (mimics banging and slamming) And Kaylee, kind of getting a feel for what’s happening. “All right, what can I do?”

SAM: You can throw your voice, I’ve seen you do it once, right.

MATT: "I can, I can."

SAM: Can you change your voice?

MATT: "I can."

SAM: Okay. Can you be… the scariest fucking voice you’ve ever done in your entire life? I will tell you what to say, I’ll whisper it to you. You just be the voice, I will be the visuals, all right? I’m gonna create an image, and you’re going to talk out of it, all right?

MATT: "All right, all right. Let’s go."

SAM: Okay. So I will use just a minor illusion to create the head of Stonejaw Strongjaw.

MARISHSA: Yes!

MATTHEW: Jaw Jaw?

ALL: Jaw Jaw!

(laughing)

TRAVIS: Okay, I like this.

(laughing)

LIAM: Aw, me so sorry.

(laughing)

TRAVIS: You talkin’ about my family now?

(laughing)

MATT: All right, so.

TRAVIS: I’m no fuckin’ Gungan.

(laughing)

MATT: So. As the essence of minor illusion, it is a very, very simple illusion.

SAM: For sure.

MATT: As far as I know, it can’t even really move.

SAM: Yeah.

MATT:It can be an image.

SAM: Yeah, that’s fine. It’s gonna be floating amongst fog.

MATT: Okay, so within this fog, you see as they push through the door, the barricade clatters down. A section of a table and a chair and a lot of the rubble that was kinda scooped up from the roof that had caved in jammed against this door gets skirted back, tumbles and clatters across the stone work. And you see one Goliath and one kind of rough-looking human with a ragged beard come rushing in. You know, dual hand axes drawn and looking about the fog, as suddenly, out of the middle of this space, a giant semi-translucent disembodied head of what you recall is (laughs) Stonejaw Strongjaw.

(laughing)

MARISHA: Wilson. Wilson.

MATT: Standing there, leaning forward at a large, though, you know… I will say, though, initially, what is your DC on this?

SAM: It’s through the hand cone. So it’s 20.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Oh, wow.

MATT: They both stop and just kinda go, “Uh… (laughing) "Are you seeing what I’m seeing?” And he's like, “Yeah.” And there’s just a moment of pause there, and Kaylee’s looking at you like…

SAM: Okay, really quick, here’s your motivation. You’re a dead Goliath, you were killed in combat by one of your own. And you probably sound really scary and fucked up. Ready, go. Okay I tell her, I am Stonejaw Strongjaw.

MATT: She puts her hands together and clasps almost like the grass reeds that you blow into. But as she speaks into her hand, it sends out these rippling, kind of… Almost like a heat distortion that kind of just scatters out from her hand and outside of this central illusion, you hear a voice, comes booming forward, “I–”

SAM: Fuck yes.

MATT: “Am Stonejaw Strongjaw. Returned from the realm of the dead.”

SAM: Yes, yes, yes, that’s good. Keep going, keep going, you’re doing great! I love you! Okay, uh– (laughing) "Kevdak’s son Zanror killed me in dishonorable combat!"

(laughing)

MATT: “Kevdak’s son Zanror killed me in dishonorable combat!”

SAM: I can’t go to the other side until I have avenged my death.

MATT: “I cannot move on to the other side until I’ve avenged my death!”

(laughing) (growling)

MATT: The Goliath goes, “Sorry, then.”

(laughing)

MATT: As he steps out of the room, the guy with the straggled beard who you gather is of a different type of a tribal background than the Goliaths, just kind of gleans an eye untrustingly. “Yeah, Strongjaw, you say, how strong is that jaw of yours?” And throws an ax towards it. It just passes through and clatters behind.

SAM: Okay. Quick, say “You idiot, I am but a projection”.

MATT: “You idiot! (laughing) "I am but a projection!”

SAM: The real Stonejaw is currently outside the main gate, waiting for a battle of revenge against Zanror. Dend him now.

MARISHA: That’s a lot.

SAM: I know. Sorry, Kaylee.

MATT: “The real Zanror stands outside this city gate, waiting… For vengeance against Zanror!”

SAM: You’re doing great, you’re doing great!

MATT: “Bring him now, or you all shall suffer!”

SAM: That last part was improv! That was amazing, Kaylee!

(laughing) (grunting)

MATT: There’s like a slight pause. “Can I have my axe back?”

SAM: I motion to Dr. Dra to throw it back to him.

MATT: He runs over, feels for it, looks around.

SAM: Throw it hard!

MATT: “I will throw it hard!”

SAM: No, no, don’t say that part, don’t say that part! (laughing) It’s fine, you’re doing great.

MATT: He starts backing up towards the door. At which point, the ax just clatters past him, slams into the door behind him. He reaches up without looking and he grabs it. “Thank you.”

SAM: The main gate, the main gate!

MATT: “The main gate.”

SAM: Wow!

MATT: “There’s like four gates into the city. Which main gate?”

SAM: I don’t know, do I know what it looks like?

MATT: The western one.

SAM: The western gate, the western gate!

MATT: “The western gate!” (laughing) “Right, right, I’ll let him know.” And he just leaves. Doesn’t even touch the door, he just bolts out the back.

(laughing)

LAURA: Oh man, I love this so much.

MATT: There’s a moment of quiet.

MARISHA: I just hope that works.

MATT: Dr. Dranzel walks by. (chuckles) “I have to say, you two make quite the team.”

SAM: I would say that as well, yes, I would. Thank you, Kaylee, that was… Better than I could have ever done.

MATT: "That’s true. All right then, so… We’re getting people out of here. Things have gone a bit up. How are we gonna get the rest of these folks out?” And Dranzel thinks for a second, he goes, “Well, we can’t wait for the rest of the team. They’re probably still on their way back from Kymal. I’ve unfortunately mostly spent my capabilities for the day. Scanlan, what do you got?”

SAM: To keep us all safe?

MATT: “No, to get the rest of these poor saps out!”

SAM: Out of the city? Jesus, uh…

MATT: “Were you gonna leave them here unguarded?”

SAM: Oh, no, of course I’m not gonna leave them unguarded! I just, I mean, we can’t… How many people are here?

MATT: You look around the room, there’s nine people.

SAM: I can get me and Kaylee out. (laughing) I think we should just hunker down. (laughs) I can’t get us out, I’m sorry! I mean, we could sneak, we could sneak, we could try to make a sneak for it. Are there sewers here?

MATT: Kaylee nods. “There are sewers, aye.”

SAM: Close by? Is there an entrance nearby?

MATT: “About two blocks that way.” And she points to the south side of the city.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: “Should we wait for your friends, or should we go ahead and take this route?”

SAM: We should wait and make sure that we hear Goliath footsteps leaving the city before we move, and then go.

MATT: “All right. Let’s take a moment and make sure at least all the chaos is moving that way.” Quiet takes over as the fog slowly fades over the next few minutes, and you all stay out of sight. Now, the rest of you guys are currently waiting on the outskirts of the western side of town. You hear the bells going off in the distance. You hear the sound of shouts as the guards that were at that post start stepping back inward, trying to figure out what’s going on. At this distance, it’s hard to make out exactly what conversation is happening, but the energy of the outside of the city has definitely climbed up a few paces. Which leads you to believe, hopefully, this means Scanlan’s done his job. We shall find out. Is there any other preparation you guys wanna go through right now, or are you just waiting to see any sign of movement?

LAURA: Are we all, like, together or are we spread out across everything?

TALIESIN: We’re birds.

LAURA: You’re birds.

MARISHA: We’re birds on a wall.

LAURA: We’re standing together in, like, the tall grass.

LIAM: That’s right. We were watching.

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: We’re with everybody else.

LAURA: I’m gonna take a minute to– anybody standing near me, I’m gonna take a minute and use, um… Where’s my thing? I’m freaking out! Hide in plain sight?

MATTHEW: All righty.

LAURA: And make it to where we can set a surprise attack on them.

MATTHEW: Okay.

LAURA: On anybody coming out.

MATT: All right. All right. So, as part of that, I’ll have you guys both roll stealth checks.

LIAM: Sure.

(laughing)

LAURA: Do we still, is the Pass Without Trace still active from before? I think it is.

MATT: I think you cast it before you arrived, or in the approach, so, yeah.

LAURA: Okay, so add 10 to that.

LIAM: 35.

LAURA: 35!

MATTHEW: Oh, look at that. Hopefully that’s enough.

LIAM: It’s like that scene in Willow where–

TALIESIN: All right, um, since we’re birds. I want to take just an occasional high-level…

MARISHA: Circle around?

TALIESIN: Circle around, just to see what’s up.

MATT: Okay, both of you guys roll perception checks.

MARISHA: 26.

TALIESIN: Uh, 18.

MATTHEW: 26, 18?

MARISHA: Yeah.

(Matt stands, Marisha does excited heavy breathing)

LAURA: Oh, see, that’s what we could do, Matt! We could’ve just sat you on the same side of the table as us.

TALIESIN: Yeah, you could’ve been behind us and…

MATTHEW: Oh, that’s true. That is true. Oh well, too late now. All right, so… (whispers inaudibly)

SAM: Any products you want me to hawk while the camera’s on us?

LAURA: Those shirts, man!

SAM: These shirts?

LAURA: Not those shirts, these shirts! How do you wanna do this?

SAM: How do you wanna do this? We already hawked those.

TRAVIS: The hoodie and the T-shirt! T-shirts in stock, one more week.

SAM: How do you want to do this? T-shirts are now available for something. Pre-order?

LAURA: Also pre-order for another week.

SAM: I don’t know, man!

LAURA: Also, also the necklaces and the keychains are still there.

SAM: Necklaces and keychains? But those are a fantastic birthday or Christmas gift.

LAURA: They really are!

ASHLEY: What are the necklaces?

LAURA: The necklaces? We still haven’t gotten to those!

TALIESIN: Or Arbor Day.

SAM: Arbor Day seems like a good– Memorial Day.

TALIESIN: Memorial Day!

SAM: People give gifts on Memorial Day.

TALIESIN: I got gifts on Memorial Day.

SAM: Yeah. So underneath your Memorial Day tree this year…

LAURA: It’s cute. It’s like steel.

MATT: All right.

LIAM: Oh my gosh.

MATT: So.

ASHLEY: Umm…

MATT: Yes, Pike.

ASHLEY: Can I cast Guardian of Faith near us, where we are hiding at the gate?

MATTHEW: If you’d like to.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: Uh, on your location on the gate, or somewhere else?

ASHLEY: Because we’re all, we’re all together by the hole that you dug.

LIAM: Aren’t we–?

LAURA: We’re like, in the– We’re in the grass.

MATT: In the grass, down toward the front, kind of farther back from the gate. Where are you guys standing right now?

TRAVIS: Are you– ‘Cause the twins are by themselves, right?

MATT: Yeah, yeah.

ASHLEY: Ah, so we’re all apart.

MATT: Yeah, you and Grog are kind of your own pod right now.

ASHLEY: Oh, hi Grog.

TRAVIS: Hey.

ASHLEY: I just forgot you were–

TRAVIS: Just us chillin’. (laughing) About to split some skulls.

ASHLEY: You know what, I’m gonna pause, I’m gonna pause.

MATT: Okay, you gonna hold off?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: All right, so, you guys, what are you doing? (mimicking birds)

TRAVIS: Jesus.

MARISHA: Okay, I’m on the wall, right?

MATTHEW: Mm-hmm.

MARISHA: I’m gonna kind of, like, scootch back a little bit so I’m kind of hidden. I’m gonna drop my animal form.

MATTHEW: Okay.

MARISHA: I’m gonna go over the… Our earpieces.

MATTHEW: Mm-hmm.

TALIESIN: I’m flying near her so I can hear, but I can’t talk.

MATTHEW: Okay.

MARISHA: It looks like there’s about six coming our way. I don’t know how well Scanlan’s distraction worked. It looks like they’re double down– doubling down and setting up a heavy defense in the center of the town.

LIAM: Is Scanlan listening to you right now?

MARISHA: Scanlan, can you hear me? Scanlan?

MATT: There’s no response.

MARISHA: Shit. I think he’s too far away, you guys, I don’t know.

LAURA: Hopefully he wasn’t captured.

MARISHA: There’s about six coming this way, so stay down, hopefully the trap works.

TRAVIS: I just thought of something. Hey, remember when we were, like, walking through the woods and we fought those six Goliaths and I stopped the fight? Remember? Yeah, that was Zanror, right?

MARISHA: Right.

TRAVIS: So I think he knows that I’m not, like, back from the dead.

LAURA: Well, shit, Grog!

TRAVIS: I know, I just thought of it, you know, like, the whole magic thing might not actually work.

LAURA: So the whole plan we made was stupid?

TRAVIS: No no no, I’m just saying, let’s move forward.

MARISHA: You’re using your father, right? Your father is dead, right? Your dad’s dead?

LIAM: Yes, yes.

TRAVIS: I don’t know.

LIAM: Yes.

TRAVIS: Yeah, he is, yes.

LAURA: He’s dead. (laughing)

TRAVIS: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yeah, he’s dead.

TRAVIS: Yeah, he’s dead.

MARISHA: Okay, well, hopefully it works. I don’t know how well this is working–

TRAVIS: Just a pro-tip, Vax, what would you say is the number one thing to keep in mind when fighting someone like me?

LIAM: Uh, don’t?

LAURA: Keep your distance.

TRAVIS: Yeah, keep your distance.

MARISHA: All right, good to know. What’s our plan B in case Zanror never comes out?

LAURA: We go in and we kill everyone.

LIAM: Yeah, pretty much.

TRAVIS: Everyone?

LAURA: Well, except for the nice people.

TRAVIS: Oh.

(laughing)

LIAM: And we decide who the nice people are.

MARISHA: I think I can confirm that Vox Machina has been a terrible influence on me, just want to throw that out. All right, let’s go.

LAURA: Where are they, where are they?

TALIESIN: I also want to just see if I recognize, I’m just doing another little flippity-flop scan around, and I just want to see if I recognize his brother as one of the people who’s coming to the gate or not. I’ll get down low for that.

MATT: Not a brother, per se.

TRAVIS: My cousin?

TALIESIN: Your cousin, I mean. The one I recognize because I, the only one I’ve met.

MATTHEW: Right. At this height?

TALIESIN: I’ll get, I’ll get–

MATTHEW: You’ll get low?

TALIESIN: I’ll get low.

MATT: Okay, you don’t see anybody coming towards that direction that resembles the individual that you met that one time before.

TALIESIN: Okay, fine. I’m gonna go looking.

MATT: However, what you do notice is, and you quickly duck out of the way, there are two giant eagles that come coasting over the city in the same direction.

(gasps)

TRAVIS: Giant eagles?

TALIESIN: Okay, I’m gonna go find a perch on the other side of the gate. And I’m gonna find a nice little sniper’s nest.

MARISHA: I’m assuming you have some clan members who might be druids, do you know?

TRAVIS: You’re speaking really smart right now and it’s confusing me.

(laughing)

LAURA: Make sure you’re hiding, Keyleth.

MARISHA: I want to stealth, I kind of want to hunker down against the wall and stealth.

MATTHEW: Roll a stealth check.

TALIESIN: I’m staying bird until the last possible moment.

MARISHA: Uh, 21.

MATT: 21? Hmm.

LIAM: Guys, if no one comes towards the gate in the next five, ten minutes–

MARISHA: They’re on their way, right?

LIAM: They’re not going to come. Well, all right, I hope so, but if nobody’s here in ten, I think we gotta go in.

MARISHA: So is there anyone coming towards the western gate?

MATT: At this point in time, you guys on your side notice, – and you as well – a cluster of about six individuals come rushing towards the gate, and the two guards who were over to the side earlier join up with them. They stop for a second, and they discuss at a distance. Then they all turn and rush towards the gate as a group of nine.

(gasps)

MARISHA: Come on, trap! Work, trap, work, trap! Come on!

MATT: As they’re rushing forward, it’s about three, two, and then a scattered four-ish in the back. They go bolting through, eyes around, looking for any sort of sight of anyone waiting at the front of the gate. They begin to slow their pace a little bit, not seeing anybody immediately out there, as they begin to go through the center of the archway.

MARISHA: Someone make a distraction, quick!

TRAVIS: I step out from cover, very slowly, and walk out in the middle of the room.

MARISHA: Oh, shit.

MATT: Okay, as you step out, they all immediately put their hands out and stop and to the guards, shout out, “You, who goes there?”

TRAVIS: (heavy breathing, growling) (laughing) “Stonejaw!” (laughing)

MATT: Two of them, of that group, start stepping backwards while the two guards that were stationed at the gate the entire time, they just go, “Cut him down.” And they go into a run through the rest of, the ten, fifteen-foot area, around the center part of the gate out into the main area out front. As they begin stepping, (mimics footsteps) watching in the distance, you notice one foot crumbles through, and all of a sudden, the second foot, and the earth begins to just tumble out from underneath two of them. Three of them, four of them, five of them. All begin just, the first line, the first two groups, weren’t even paying attention and focused on you as they charged through, they all begin to tumble inside–

MARISHA: Yes!

MATT: The, uh, of the last four, two of them manage to stop in time to kind of catch themselves. Of all the ones that fell, though, the ones in front who originally got caught have no saving throw. They just plummet, screaming, down–

TALIESIN: Two managed not to fall?

MARISHA: 180 feet.

SAM: It’s 180 feet! Holy god!

(laughing)

TALIESIN: Two managed not to fall?

MATT: Two manage to avoid the entire crumbling portion of it and there are three of them that are currently holding onto the edges and trying to pull themselves back up.

TALIESIN: Can I find, I want to find a good enough vantage point where I’m behind them and I can give them a push. Like, from a distance.

LIAM: As a bird?

LAURA: You’re a bird!

MARISHA: Well, I was gonna say, I can drop, as soon as he lands, I drop his polymorph, as soon as he lands.

LAURA: Well, but I was– waiting for a–

MARISHA: Well, he’s on the roof. He’s on the wall.

MATT: Well, first, I’m gonna determine how much damage they took.

TALIESIN: Okay.

(laughing)

MARISHA: All of it?

SAM: We are the best at planning.

MATT: That is… That is… 83 damage to them.

SAM: 83? That’s pretty good!

(laughing)

MATT: And if I look at the sheets here.

TRAVIS: That means toast for any of us.

SAM: And they’re prone.

(laughing)

ASHLEY: We would be dead.

LIAM: That’s me.

MATT: Now, you hear a horrible scream and a crunch sound as they all, those that fell are unconscious or currently completely unable–

TRAVIS: Yes! We did something right!

MATT: Low moans of pain barely echoing up from underneath as the other ones, like, they grab the arms of the ones that are hanging over–

LAURA: Are they clustered?

MATT: They’re clustered in, yeah.

LAURA: Ah!

TALIESIN: I want to take two– I’m taking two… Where’s my English? Trick shot push shots.

MATT: Okay, go for it.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATTHEW: Go for it.

TALIESIN: Push shot number one.

SAM: (mimics shooting)

TALIESIN: Uh, that’s… That’s with Retort, I’m not using the big gun. 18, 19… 21?

MATT: 21 hits.

TALIESIN: And then they, every time they hit, they take damage, and they also… Yeah, they don’t even have a save.

MATT: Nope, just pushes them.

TALIESIN: Okay, that’s, and then that does… 14 points of damage.

MATTHEW: Okay.

TALIESIN: For the one.

MATT: Which then, that one gets pushed over the side, does not make its save to try to catch the edge, plummets down, suffering… Just ‘cause it’s fun to check… 70 points of damage. A sickening smack sound–

LAURA: Landing on the other ones.

MATT: Landing on the other ones. It’s awful. Looking down there would be terrible right now.

TALIESIN: Have some taste. And the next one? Um, that’s 17, 27, 30 to hit.

MATT: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage on that one.

TALIESIN: Uh, that’s… 13 points of piercing damage? 13 points of piercing damage.

MATTHEW: Okay.

TALIESIN: Plus the push.

MATT: He gets pushed, falls off the edge, catches his arm on the side, and begins pulling himself up. Now there’s four of them that are currently now about to start climbing up outside of this, this collapsed portion of earth, but the earth is still crumbling beneath them, as they’re trying–

LAURA: I cast, I cast Hail of Thorns and shoot in the cluster of them.

MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make the… The Hail of Thorns, it is–

TALIESIN: Does that drop count as a kill? Do I get a grit point back for that, or no?

MATT: Uh, yeah, I’ll say.

LAURA: The next time I hit a creature with a ranged weapon, I rolled a 27.

MATT: Yeah, so right now, you’re aiming at them all in the hole. From your perspective, they’re gonna have three-quarters cover. So that–

LAURA: I just need to hit the one that’s closest to the top.

MATT: Right, what’s your total roll on that?

LAURA: 27.

MATT: 27? Yeah, even with the three-quarters cover, that’ll still hit. Okay. So go ahead and roll damage on that.

LIAM: Is everyone still standing, by the way?

MATT: No. Both the ones that were standing got pushed into the hole by gun blasts from behind. Shoved into the large, open chasm beneath them.

LAURA: 26 damage.

MATTHEW: 26 damage? Casting this at what level?

LAURA: Level three.

MATT: At level three? Nice. All right. Each creature within five feet of it? Okay, so it’s, at five feet, the hole’s a much bigger space, so it only hits two of them.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: I’ll fling a dagger at the last one once you’re done.

MATT: Okay. So, this is all happening simultaneously. (mimics battle sounds) Daggers. (laughing) So, it blasts two of them, they both catch themselves–

LAURA: Oh, wait! That was sneak attack.

MATTHEW: Yes, so you would actually get to…

LAURA: Add another six?

MATTHEW: Yeah.

LAURA: Six!

TRAVIS: Wow.

MATT: All right, that will make them… Not too happy. And your turn?

LIAM: All right, throwing one dagger. Okay, and it’s advantage because I'm hiding… And it is 27 to hit.

MATT: That hits, even with the cover.

LIAM: And it’s… A sneak attack, and a surprise, so it’s a crit, right? ‘Cause I’m hidden underneath shit. ‘Cause she hid us.

LAURA: Hide in plain sight.

MATT: Technically… Yeah, I’ll let it happen, ‘cause it’s part of the surprise round, we’ll say this is all happening simultaneously. They fall in, grasp, then they catch themselves, and then the blade comes out of nowhere. So yeah, I’ll let that happen.

LIAM: 18, 19…

MARISHA: I know, all the dice.

LIAM: 21, 34… 34 turns to 68, plus the bonus is 70, 74.

TALIESIN: That’s obscene.

MATT: With that, the blade sinks into the top of the skull of the one. The Goliath’s trying to pull himself out. As it hits, his arms just go limp and he falls backward and disappears beneath the earth.

LIAM: And just in case, I’m using my bonus action to hide.

(laughing)

LAURA: Oh shit, I should’ve done that!

MATTHEW: Go ahead and roll stealth.

TALIESIN: None goth'er than thou.

LIAM: 25.

MATTHEW: 25? Okay, good enough. All right–

LAURA: Could I do the same thing, because I forgot to hide, for my bonus action as well?

MATTHEW: Sure.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Both of them just–

(laughing)

LAURA: 30.

MATTHEW: 30, okay.

LAURA: Did you add 10?

LIAM: No, I didn’t. Way higher.

MATT: So as it stands now, there are… I believe… Two more in there that are currently holding on to try and find their way up. As this is happening, Keyleth, you’re paying attention, you hear this high-pitched (screech). You look over your shoulder just in time to see a large giant eagle swoop down, talons extended towards you, visible on the top of the wall.

TALIESIN: There’s no way I could use my third shot really quick, is there?

MATT: Uh, no, you’re too focused on the thing in front you.

TRAVIS: (singing) Let the eagle soar!

MATT: It swoops down and the talon strikes you, the talon’s pushing you forward, that is gonna be a... 20? Does that hit your AC?

MARISHA: Yeah, that hits.

MATT: All right. You suffer nine points of piercing damage as its claws dig into you and attempt to throw you from the top of the wall.

MARISHA: Okay, bring it.

MATT: Go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw to try and grab the ledge before you plummet.

MARISHA: That’s not great. Uh, 11.

MATT: Unfortunately, you don’t even know which way is up as the talons chuck you forth and you plummet from the top of the wall. You fall down a total of 45 feet.

MARISHA: Can I go, like, can I turn back into a raven as I fall? My other bonus, my other action?

MATT: Yeah. I’ll say go ahead, make a constitution saving throw as part of your concentration check, just to see if you’re able to focus your mind in that quick period of time.

MARISHA: Uh, 19.

MATT: 19, yeah! (applause) As you’re spiraling backwards, seeing the eagle, you look behind you to the ground, close your eyes, swoop upward into the form of a raven.

LAURA: Awesome! Great work.

MARISHA: That was sick.

TALIESIN: Sail!

MARISHA: Sail!

(laughing)

MATT: All right, you guys watch as the other two guys stand up, getting out, (grunts) and look about. You are now still standing out in the middle of a thoroughfare, you’re hiding off behind one of the chunks of rubble and rock that permeate the outside of the wall in places. You guys are still hidden.

MARISHA: Since I’m a raven now, can I do a loop back to the center of town and see what’s going on?

MATT: Yep. So you’re heading back to the center of town, it’s gonna take you a little bit to get there.

MARISHA: Yep.

MATT: They get back up to the top. They spend most of their turn getting to that edge, and taking a few steps away from it, getting their weapons out and kind of glaring at each other and trying to figure out what the hell they can do right now as you start looming towards them.

TRAVIS: I, unarmed, start walking towards them. And I say, “Where is Kevdak?”

MATTHEW: Make a deception check.

SAM: Oh, boy. Not his strength.

TRAVIS: 13.

MATT: 13?

SAM: Plus…

(laughing)

MATT: All right. As you say that… One of the two individuals has pulled their way out. Humanoid, kind of a grizzled beard. His eyes kind of go wide, and he just stands still for a second. The other one is a Goliath who, as he approaches, you get a familiarity with, you remember this individual. Little younger than you. Has a pretty, pretty heavy scar from the bottom of the chin that goes down to about the sternum. Named by, by the name of Suda who just kind of steps forward, gives you a look-over and goes, “Strongjaw, ha. You’re a Grog stronger, that’s what you are.”

TRAVIS: Fool. You know not who I am. I have not come through flame and death to deal with filth like you.

MATT: “He’s a bleedin’ liar. Come on, you guys have been had.” And he goes ahead and takes the two hand axes, he throws them in the air and kinda catches them. He goes (grunts) and rushes in towards you. However, he’s unable to make anything else this turn except movement into face-to-face with Grog. We’ll say, for the purposes of this open space, Grog will be there and this one…

SAM: Suda.

TRAVIS: Suda.

MATT: He’s gonna… Not quite as–

LAURA: Tiny.

MATT: That blade there.

LAURA: He’s pathetic. Look at that loser.

(laughing)

ASHLEY: Kill him, Grog!

LAURA: Kill him, Grog!

MATTHEW: Is anybody else doing anything right now on this turn? Or are we just waiting to see what happens here?

TALIESIN: I’m observing.

MATT: Okay. So. As you’re watching and you’re heading off that direction, Grog, he comes forward, in your face, what do you do?

TRAVIS: I would like to rage.

(laughing)

MATTHEW: All right.

TRAVIS: Take out the firebrand warhammer, and I’m gonna tattoo his ass.

(laughing)

MATT: Go for it, go ahead and take your two attacks.

(laughing)

TRAVIS: Uh, 16.

MATTHEW: 16? Misses.

LAURA: No!

ASHLEY: I cast War God’s Blessing.

(gasps)

MATT: As Pike steps out from the high grass, in this–

ASHLEY: What up, motherfucker? Oh!

(laughing)

MARISHA: Pike is back!

MATT: With that, the little bit of noise distraction outside, turns his face, his eyes peeking out the corner of the eye sockets, and that’s just the little moment of opportunity you need to go ahead and double up and slam upward with the butt of the hammer. Go ahead, roll damage for that attack.

TRAVIS: Oh God, it’s been so long since I used the… (laughing) Uh, that’s 17.

MATTHEW: 17 damage, got it. Second attack?

TRAVIS: Second attack is 24.

MATT: That hits, roll damage on that one as well.

LIAM: Hey, where’d the grizzly guy go?

MATT: The grizzly guy’s just stepping back a little bit. Or like, he’s like taking one step onto his back foot, not even approaching Grog.

LAURA: Where’s the eagles?

MATT: The eagles aren’t too far from your side right now.

SAM: And where’s the pit?

MATT: The pit is about 10 feet behind the guy who’s standing. Actually, I should probably put him there right now.

TALIESIN: Also, I’d like to keep an eye out for the eagles as well.

MATTHEW: He’s about there.

LIAM: And where’s the chasm?

LAURA: He’s putting it down, he’s putting it down.

LIAM: All right!

MATTHEW: I’m doing this, I’m drawing it out for you guys.

SAM: Come on, invent a battle map, just like that, Matt! Come on!

(laughing)

TALIESIN: That is a really good chasm.

LAURA: That is a huge chasm!

MARISHA: We’re watching his magic in real life.

LAURA: Where’s all the dead bodies at the bottom of it?

MARISHA: Yeah, can you draw detailed dead bodies?

(laughing)

TALIESIN: Can you just grade it a little bit?

MATT: Oh, I’m dead!

SAM: Do you like to draw, or sketch, or just doodle?

LIAM: Where are the twins right now?

MATT: Twins would be back here.

LAURA: Hiding.

MATT: Pike would be off to the side here.

TALIESIN: Way off in the middle of fuck-all.

MATT: Percy’s like (babbling)

TALIESIN: I’m gonna keep an eye out for the eagles, too, so…

MATTHEW: Okay.

TALIESIN: Everybody keep commenting if you see something–

LAURA: Where’s the eagles?

TRAVIS: So the last attack was 18, plus 2 points of the fire damage, for 20.

MATT: For 20, nice.

TRAVIS: The second attack.

MATT: Okay. So that ends your turn. He’s gonna go ahead and go for a round of retaliation against you, using the action surge that was afforded by it, gonna make 4 attacks on you. That is a really, really shitty 16.

TRAVIS: Misses.

MATT: Misses. That is a 24.

TRAVIS: Hits.

MATTHEW: That is 25.

TRAVIS: Hits.

MATTHEW: And a 22.

TRAVIS: That also hits.

MATT: So three hits on you.

LAURA: He’s strong!

MARISHA: How does he get four attacks? Is he a fighter?

TALIESIN: Action surge.

MARISHA: Oh, action surge?

(groans)

MATT: So this would be 11 points of slashing damage, reduced to six. Or five, actually, for you. That is… 14 points slashing damage reduced to 7.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATTHEW: And 9 reduced to 4.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: He just hacks into you (grunts) and looks forward and sees you barely moved by this flurry.

TRAVIS: Oh tiny dancer, you are fucked.

(laughing)

MATTHEW: Anyone else jumping in on this?

LIAM: Yeah, can I do a thing? I want to stealth and creep over to where Pike is.

MATTHEW: Okay. You’ve been stealthed, but yeah–

LIAM: And I would like to hold my action and if the Goliath’s buddy does anything, if he tries to help or if he tries to run, I’m still hidden, right?

MATT: As far as you know, yeah.

LIAM: Yeah, so I’m gonna fucking throw a knife at him if he does anything.

MATTHEW: Okay.

LAURA: I’m gonna cast Hunter’s Mark on the guy behind.

MATTHEW: Okay, got it.

TRAVIS: Keep one alive, I want to know where our two principals are.

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: “Keep one alive.”

MATTHEW: All right. Hunter’s Mark on that fellow there.

TALIESIN: And keeping an eye on the hawks.

MATTHEW: Okay.

SAM: Eagle.

MATT: You need one over there. Grog, your round of retribution is up. Pike, you wanna do anything?

ASHLEY: Uh… No, I’m gonna hold.

MATTHEW: Okay.

TRAVIS: Oh, it’s my turn again?

MATTHEW: Yep.

MATT: Yep.

TRAVIS: More tattoos for twiddly-fuck, Suda. Wait. No. I want to bullrush Suda and drive him back towards the pit.

MARISHA: Yes, yes!

TRAVIS: The pit.

LAURA: Yeah! Pit of despair!

SAM: That is the correct answer.

(laughing)

LAURA: The pit of despair.

MATT: Haven’t bullrushed in a while, okay. Make sure--

TALIESIN: I forgot that was a property.

MATT: Yeah, man...

(jumbled excited chatter)

TRAVIS: It might be, I think it’s like 30 feet, I can’t remember. Or maybe it’s 20, I can’t remember.

MATT: It’s a little less than that, we’ll see.

TRAVIS: Oh, is it?

MATT: We’ll see. At least you made it interesting. So shoving a creature, you can… Shove it…

LAURA: 9700 feet, specifically.

MATT: All of them, all the feet.

SAM: Yeah, I mean, maybe it’s 15 feet, but he doesn’t know numbers, so…

MATT: It’s strength. Okay, it’s strength athletics check contested by his athletics or acrobatics. You push him five feet away from you, or prone.

MARISHA: Five feet?

LAURA: Or prone, prone is good.

MARISHA: Prone, and then you could–

TRAVIS: Drag him.

ASHLEY: Drag him.

MATTHEW: You could try and shove him out, you could grapple and try to drag him with you.

TRAVIS: I’d like to do that.

MATTHEW: Okay. (laughing) So go ahead and make an–

TRAVIS: Athletics check?

MATT: Athletics check, yeah. That’s when I roll a natural one. That would be when I do it.

TRAVIS: Brilliant.

MATTHEW: Of course.

TRAVIS: 'Cause that was a 12.

MATTHEW: Okay. And with that, you bring the hammer back, like you’re gonna go ahead and slam it into his face, and instead you reach down by underneath the ankle, and you just flip him onto his back. As he’s there, slammed onto the ground, the hard, kind of packed dirt of the roadway that leads into the western side of Westruun, are you gonna attempt to go for a grapple, then?

TRAVIS: Yes.

MATTHEW: All righty. As he is on the ground, I will go ahead and allow advantage on this attempt. So for your second strike on this, roll another athletics check, with an advantage. Because he is on the ground.

TRAVIS: 27.

MATTHEW: Yeah, no, you got him.

(laughing)

ASHLEY: Bye-bye!

MATTHEW: So you can drag him at half your movement speed.

TRAVIS: So 25 feet?

MARISHA: Oh my god, yes. Oh my god.

SAM: Let’s count.

MARISHA: Let’s count!

MATTHEW: So that’s 5, 10, 15, 20, 25.

(cheering)

LAURA: Kick him, kick him!

LIAM: Oh, the tension! The drama!

TALIESIN: You can let him stand before the chasm.

MARISHA: Just…

MATTHEW: Especially dragging him through–

LIAM: This! Is! Westruun!

TRAVIS: Don’t say it!

(laughing)

MATTHEW: The other guy next to him, holding the hand axe, is watching you drag him off and he’s just like… (grunts) and unleashes a–

MARISHA: Fucking asshole.

LAURA: No!

MARISHA: Yeah, go go go!

LIAM: I call it, I go for it, and I’m hidden. I have advantage and all that shit.

ALL: Oh!

(laughing)

LIAM: 28, 29…

LAURA: 29.

MATT: 29 hits.

LIAM:29, yep. Okay, good one.

LAURA: Oh my god, those are so many!

LIAM: 5, 10, 15…

ASHLEY: I’m gonna cast Sanctuary on Grog.

LIAM: 25, 25 doubled is 50.

LAURA: 50!

LIAM: 56, 56.

SAM: 56?

MATTHEW: It's not a reaction, though, it's a bonus action.

ASHLEY: Got it. Never mind.

LIAM: 56, and I would like to use my bonus action to hide.

(laughing)

MATT: All right… Okay, yeah. Usually, your bonus action, you’ve already used your turn to hold your action.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: In theory.

LIAM: Whatever you want, whatever you want.

MATTHEW: I’ll say you’re not hidden right now. Usually it’s, you have to… The bonus action is used on your turn, and the holding your action is kind of that one thing that keeps over, so…

LIAM: Love it.

MATT: But as he goes forward, the dagger sinks right into his sternum and he kind of… (grunts) and, still using his momentum, goes forward. As you’re dragging it, it’s gonna go two strikes against you. Uh… 13.

TRAVIS: Misses.

MATTHEW: And 15.

TRAVIS: Misses.

MATT: Just both axes do strike and hit you, but one of them hits the shoulder armor on the back of your shoulder, kind of cracks part of the bone and just streaks off the metal. The other one comes down and hits you in the back of the Belt of Dwarvenkind. You feel a little sink of pain as it kind of cuts through some of the leather, but even the belt itself deflects most of the attack.

TRAVIS: I look over and say, “Sit down, son, before you hurt yourself.” (laughing)

MATT: Make an intimidation check.

(laughing)

LAURA: Oh.

TRAVIS: It’s a 1.

(laughing)

MATTHEW: He rolled a 20, so, yeah.

(laughing)

LIAM: He’d have a really witty comeback if he didn’t have a dagger in his sternum at the moment.

MATTHEW: Yeah. (laughing) He’s a little distracted at the moment. All right, so, that being said, the guy who’s on the ground now– any of you guys wanna do anything at this point?

LAURA: I’ll shoot an arrow at the other guy standing there.

LIAM: Finish him off.

MARISHA: Am I back to town yet?

MATTHEW: Not yet. This is only six seconds. This is–

MARISHA: It takes a while.

LAURA: 23?

MATTHEW: 23 it is. Roll damage, with Hunter’s Mark.

LAURA: Hunter’s Mark and sneak attack.

MATTHEW: Yes, because he cannot see you. He’s unaware of your presence.

TALIESIN: God, we’re mean.

LIAM: Efficient.

TALIESIN: Efficient.

LAURA: 21.

MATTHEW: All righty.

LAURA: That’s the first arrow.

MATTHEW: All right.

LAURA: Oh, that was so close! 14.

MATT: 14. It misses. It’s okay, though, I was going to let you roll the second anyway. 21, the arrow strikes him right through the throat, and he just (gurgles and chokes) and grasps for his throat, gurgling before he falls to his knees and slumps into the ground, head to the side, kind of still clutching at it as he slowly, the life spills out of him. (laughing)

TALIESIN: He died as he lived, deeply unimpressed.

(laughing)

MATT: The other guy gets up, though, and he’s going to use action trying to break the grapple. That is going to be a–

LAURA: Fail!

MARISHA: Come on, Grog. Come on, Grog!

MATT: 16.

TRAVIS: Misses.

(laughing)

MATT: It’s contested with your athletics.

TRAVIS: Oh. And I have to roll an athletics check?

MATTHEW: Yeah. You are raging, so technically you have advantage on it.

TRAVIS: That’s pretty good. I’ll take the 18. Athletics 26.

MATT: Yeah, he’s still grappled, he can’t do anything on that. It’s your turn.

TALIESIN: He’s wriggling!

TRAVIS: It’s my turn? Well, I look to him and I say, “I will let you fly from here if you answer this question. Is Kevdak or Zanror in the city?”

MATT: Make a persuasion check. No, this would be intimidation. Intimidation, not persuasion.

LIAM: This is how Goliaths prom dance.

TRAVIS: Uh, 8.

MATTHEW: 8?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

(laughing)

MATT: Okay, as you’re holding him there, he goes, “You’ll find out, won’t you?”

TRAVIS: I take his neck and I smash my head into his nose.

MATT: It just breaks and crumbles, his face is partially caved in, and you can see blood just running rapidly out of his nostrils where his bones were.

TRAVIS: “You won’t be there to watch my discovery. Are they in the city?”

MATT: “Yeah, they’re waiting for you.”

TRAVIS: “Good, I’ll let you fly now.” And I kick him into the pit.

(laughing)

MARISHA: Whee!

MATT: All right, I’ll say as you use your movement to push forward, go ahead and make your athletics check.

TRAVIS: 18.

MATT: And with that, he– (mimics fight sounds) Reaching out, grasps, catches the very edge of the ledge behind him, and the rock just breaks. (laughing) “No!” He vanishes, screaming, into the pit below as you step forward and look over. What little glint of daylight even makes the bottom area, 'cause it’s far out of your range for dark vision, you just see enough of a movement on the bottom, and then no movement whatsoever.

TALIESIN: You Wile E. Coyote’d that guy!

LAURA: Oh, man.

TRAVIS: You all right down there? (laughing) No answer.

ALL: Yay!

LIAM: And scene.

MATT: You’ve made it–

MARISHA: I’m looking for Scanlan, too, by the way. Kind of keeping an eye out for Scanlan.

MATT: Perception check.

MARISHA: Uh, 23.

MATT: 23, okay. The second time. As you’re glancing through, you see no sign of Scanlan. You do see now that… There are small groups of these clan individuals are now pulling out of homes various denizens of Westruun and pulling them towards the center of town. They’re screaming and kicking, you know, or some of them just aren’t putting up a fight because they have no way to, and they’re just pulling them, almost like shields, to the center of town. It seems like they…

MARISHA: Have a plan.

MATTHEW: Have a plan.

TALIESIN: Shit. I don’t know that.

MARISHA: I haul ass back.

MATT: Heading back.

MARISHA: Do I see them, do I see the group? We’ve cleared the area, more or less, yeah?

MATT: I mean, the area where they are, as you glance back? Yeah, there doesn’t appear to be any current set. Whoever was set to go to that side of the gate to check it out–

MARISHA: Has been hit?

MATT: Has not returned.

MARISHA: Sure.

TALIESIN: Can I turn back into a crow, or do you need, do I need to–

MARISHA: I have to cast that on you.

TALIESIN: But it’s new casting, it’s not just the same casting?

MARISHA: Correct. I can’t drop it in and out.

TALIESIN: Okay, good.

MATTHEW: So you’re heading back?

MARISHA: I head back.

MATT: Okay. Scanlan.

SAM: Oh, me?

MATTHEW: Yes. So–

SAM: Oh, Jesus.

MATT: As some time has passed, you guys have waited it out.

MARISHA: I’m looking for Scanlan on my way back, by the way.

MATT: Yeah. You are currently hunkered down with Kaylee, Dr. Dranzel, and this cluster of nine survivors. You’ve managed to parry off one incursion of these herd members within the temple. The barricaded door is still slightly ajar, as closing it would make quite a bit of noise.

SAM: Mm-hmm.

MATT: What are you planning to do?

SAM: (sighs) I mean, I have to get these people out of the city, I guess. So, they know the location of the entrance to the sewers, correct?

MATT: Kaylee had said that she knew, yeah.

SAM: All right, well then, I’m just going to… Shit. Do I know that the Goliaths were working with orcs at all, or… Was it just Goliaths, is it–

MATT: Well, no. From what you’ve heard from when… When Grog was interrogating the first member of the herd that you guys found on your way south through Westruun, there– it was a largely Goliath herd that had been challenged by and then defeated another clan and then absorbed them, and the other clan involved a lot more varying races and specialities. There were half-orcs, there were some kind of wild elves that were part of the crew, and a lot of the brigand humans. It was very much kind of like just– defeated their leader, took in the others because their choice was to either die or join.

SAM: Mm-hmm.

MATT: And as such, it has grown to this much more mammoth-sized roving herd.

SAM: I don’t remember the name of that herd or anything, right? Or what they looked like. But they were motley, and they involved half-orcs and things.

MATTHEW: There were a couple half-orcs, there were a few humans that were, like, I think you saw one wild elf, and then mostly Goliaths, based around the center of the Margrave's estate.

SAM: Okay. All right. Uh, well, we’re, I tell the people, there’s nine people, right?

MATTHEW: Yeah.

SAM: Plus Me, Kaylee and Doctor? Uh, all right, well, I gather the people around and I say, “We’re going to be moving through the city rather fast. In case we are spotted, I need to hide you people, or make you not a target, so I’m going to disguise you all as a band of irritable half-orcs and grotesque humans and the like using Seeming. And just look ornery, and look mean, and if you are approached, just sort of spit and kick the dirt and look pissy. And we’ll go.”

MATT: Make a performance check.

SAM: A performance check?

MATT: In showing them and guiding them–

SAM: Oh, I can demonstrate it for them. Yes, with my acting abilities. (laughing) Okay, I’m such a good performer. I’m not even gonna look. Taliesin, what did I roll?

TALIESIN: Um, well, uh, you’re doing okay. It’s okay, you– with your performance bonus, that’s a 20.

SAM: Okay, good.

(laughing)

MATT: You take a moment to show, like, some guttural snarls, teach a few odd, you know, curse words in orcish that you learned through your travels.

SAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah, just some vocal warm-ups, you know, when you wanna get deep, (growls) everyone try. (growls) That’s good, that’s good, that’s good. Work on that.

MATT: You all gather up, along with Dranzel and Kaylee, who looks kind of suspicious at what you’re attempting, she’s like, “What exactly are you trying to do here?”

SAM: I’m just trying to keep us safe and get these people to the sewers. You know the way out of the city, don’t you?

MATT: “Aye, I can show you.”

SAM: All right. Do you have weapons, can you protect yourself? Are you okay?

MATT: “I can protect myself. Don’t worry, Scanlan.”

SAM: I’m just worried, I have to worry about you, I will always be worried about you. I’m sorry.

MATT: “You’ll always be disappointed to find that I can take care of myself.”

SAM: No, I won’t be disappointed at all. In fact, that makes me quite happy.

MATT:“Good, can we be off then?”

SAM: Well, all right. Okay, as long as you’re happy, I’m happy.

MATT: “All right.”

SAM: Listen, I’m sorry, it’s just– (laughing) I never get to see you, and I know we’re in a rush here and everything. You can’t, listen, you can’t hate away me being your father, all right? I will always be the guy, no matter how much you curse my name and wish I was not part of you, my blood is inside of you–

LAURA: Ew.

SAM: I’m sorry, I’m sorry, people, but, you know, I care about you. All right?

MATT: “All right, it’s not going to stop me from trying to hate you away, but… I get what you’re saying. Well, do your trick.”

SAM: Okay. So I cast Seeming on the lot, and I make a few orcs and a few humans.

MATT: Any number of creatures within 30 feet of you. So, all of these Westruun peasant folk, yourself, Dr. Dranzel, and Kaylee all of a sudden become, to varying sized degrees–

SAM: I can make people a foot taller.

MATT: Taller, yeah, so like, they can be somewhat larger. You’re still– You guys are still tiny little goblinoid half-orcs but it gives a visual perspective, based on what you’ve seen of this troop, and everyone kind of looks at themselves, looking at the back of their hands. There’s this one kind of younger man in his mid-teens, he’s like, “This is amazing!” (grunts) And they’re also making the noises at each other, like for a brief moment, all of the fear subsides as they’re, for the moment, getting into the play of acting like a half-orc, and then they all get serious again and look to you and Kaylee and Kaylee goes, “All right then, follow me.”

SAM: She’s so good!

MATT: Slinks out the door, looks back and forth for a moment. Leans back in. “Coast is clear.” She nods. You see a troop of about… It would be 12 half-orc looking barbarians of varying aggressive stances start pouring out of a broken temple and into the street.

MARISHA: I swoop down a little closer.

MATTHEW: They’re heading–

SAM: And attack us!

(laughing)

MATTHEW: I’m waiting to see!

MARISHA: Tippi Hedren. Caw!

LIAM: Her earth elemental drop…

(laughing)

TRAVIS: Super!

ASHLEY: Tails in the hole!

MARISHA: Can I tell that it’s Scanlan and crew?

MATT: No. You have no idea. It’s very believable. It’s very believable. And you see this roving band of half-orcs now that are heading southward of the town in a cluster.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATTHEW: They’re like, jumping from one alleyway to another, and they’re heading kind of southwest.

MARISHA: Am I like, “This is sporadic for a group of orcs,” or am I like, “Crazy fuckin’ group of orcs!”

MATT: Make an insight check.

MATT: All right. Yeah, it’ll work– I’m taking it back, I’m taking it back! Ooh, that was better, that was better!

TALIESIN: I felt bad.

(laughing)

LAURA: She bailed on her roll-

TALIESIN: No!

(laughing)

MARISHA: I didn’t trust it when it was in the air. 26.

MATT: 26. Something is off about this troop, but you’re uncertain what it is.

MARISHA: Okay. All right.

MATTHEW: All right, you guys continue to move–

SAM: Continue to move, as fast as possible.

MATT: You move southward past one sequence of alleys to the next street, south, and Kaylee continues to usher you guys up to the edge of the alleyway. She looks back and forth. Nods, and you guys walk into the street again. As you step into the street, a voice goes, “Hey!” And Kaylee stops and whips around and looks in that direction, and you can see a group of three individuals, led by one Goliath and there is one kind of wild-looking elf who has, like, face-paint strewn across the front of their expression, with this long, almost dreadlocked, light brown hair, and what looks to be an older human with, like, streaks of black and grey, and this long, long beard that’s tied off near the stomach. Bare-chested, with scars across the chest and they all kind of loom up as the Goliath steps up, pointing out, “We need you to the west gate!” And he kind of steps up. “Who’s your watcher?”

SAM: I step forward and say, “He was killed by that gnome.”

MATT: “Gnome? Where’d you see it?”

SAM: Right in the center of town. He was a scary undead gnome, and he’s roaming about. Kevdak sent us to search for him.”

MATT: Make a deception check.

(groans)

SAM: 19.

MATT: 19!

TALIESIN: So ugly.

MATT: “Center of town, aye? Well then, you should probably come with us, then. See if we can swarm it.”

SAM: If I may, if I may actually, (laughing) Kevdak said to follow the gnome, and he ran this way. I’m sorry, we have to follow Kevdak’s orders.

GROUP: Ooooh…

TRAVIS: Yeah, I’m sorry.

(laughing)

TALIESIN: Please, please, God!

MATT: Make another deception check with disadvantage.

MARISHA: Oh, no!

TRAVIS: Come on, baby.

LIAM: “Gotta get there before they run out of cucumber sandwiches!”

MARISHA: Come on, come on.

SAM: Same thing! 19.

MATT: He goes, “All right, we’ll send a few more men your way.”

TRAVIS: Oh, fuck.

MATT: “Stay on that trail! If I see you again, and you ain’t got a dead gnome in your hands, I’m gonna cut that head from its shoulders.”

SAM: All right, you have my word, we’re gonna do– see ya later!

(laughing)

MATT: “Strange one." And the two of them head back as one of them just kind of keeps their distance behind you guys, following you as you travel. You dart into the next alley. Kaylee’s like “ Come on, come on!” And as you guys duck into the shadows, everyone’s pace quickens to the center of this alleyway, where there is… It seems like a large stack of partially emptied crates that contain broken pieces of furniture, it’s essentially a small dump in the area. Nothing food or, you know, refuse-wise, but there’s definitely, like, this is a… A graveyard for broken furniture. But in the center, there is a small, cylindrical stone protrusion, and a grate on top. And Kaylee runs up. “Quick, quick, help me get this open!” At which point–

SAM: Doctor?

MATT: Dr. Dranzel comes forward and goes, “Let me take care of this.” Which is funny, cause Dr. Dranzel looks just like himself, but just all covered in… (laughing) face paint, you can’t see his hat. It’s… He’s kind of enjoying this persona for a moment. He goes (spits, grunts) and strains as he pulls upward, straight. Natural 20!

(cheers)

TALIESIN: Does he strain?

MATT: Throws it aside–

SAM: Everyone can beat doors but us.

(laughing)

MATT: “And don’t you forget it! So, inside?”

SAM: Yes, go, go, go.

MATT: And they all start climbing in. Dranzel and Kaylee are helping get the peasants down inside first, at which point the one that was following you guys turns the corner in the alleyway and starts approaching from behind. This is the guy with the long black and grey beard. “You, where are you going?”

SAM: That gnome again. One of us saw him go down this sewer. We’re following.

MATT: “I’m gonna have to go back and report this. I don’t trust it.”

SAM: Hold on one second! And I’m gonna cast Hold Person on him.

MATTHEW: Okay.

LIAM: Get it, get it, get it Scanlan! Get it!

MATT: Natural 20 on his saving throw.

ALL: Oh, no!

MATT: As he turns around, and he stops for a second, looks over his shoulder. “Oh, you gotta be kidding me, we got–” At which point Kaylee reaches out with her hand and let’s see if this works or not. 5, 8…

LAURA: So many dice!

MATT: As he turns around and goes to walk away, he (laughing) falls face first asleep on the ground on the outside of the alleyway. Just, (thuds) halfway in the sun of the main thoroughfare. Kaylee runs up real fast and grabs his ankles and drags him.

SAM: I go to help!

MATT: “Go, go, go!”

SAM: I don’t know the ways through the sewers! You have to go lead them, not me!

MATT: (sighs) She drops the leg down.

SAM: I start dragging him.

MATT: You guys start dragging him off the side, and you guys quickly go, dart in. As you all jump inside, Dranzel grabs the grate top. He gets down behind it–

SAM: Right before he closes it, I step out. I step out and I say, “Take them to safety. Bring them outside the city. Hide, stay safe.”

MATT: “All right. Same goes for you, Scanlan.”

SAM: Well, I’ll do my best.

MATT: “Yeah you will.” And he pulls it down, screws it into place, to where it feels kind of taut, and you are now on your own outside of this area with a sleeping individual as his snoring slowly subsides. He starts rousing from his slumber about a minute later. Rubbing his chin. What do you do?

SAM: While he was still asleep, I was booking it towards the western gate, away from him.

MATT: Stealth check.

SAM: 18.

MATT: Okay. All right, so the rest of you guys, at this point in time, what’s your plan?

TALIESIN: Guys, I’m heading in towards the city. Do we have a report yet? Keyleth?

LAURA: I’m getting nervous about Scanlan.

MARISHA: Can I hear him? Am I close enough by yet?

MATT: I’d say by now you’ve returned in raven form, you can hear him over the earpiece.

LIAM: And it’s been how long since we’ve seen him since he went in?

MATTHEW: Since Scanlan went in, I’d say–

LIAM: Since the bells.

MATT: Since the bells, it’s been about… Oh, man, about ten minutes.

LIAM: We've got to go in.

LAURA: We should’ve seen him by now.

MARISHA: I come down and I land on Percy’s shoulder. (caws)

SAM: Not that again.

(laughing)

MARISHA: And then I–

TALIESIN: Someone fell down a well?

(laughing)

MARISHA: I come out of raven form.

TALIESIN: Not on my shoulder.

MARISHA: Not on his, well, maybe I kind of like slide off. Sorry! Sorry.

TALIESIN: What did you see? Report, report!

MARISHA: Okay. They are ripping all of the townspeople out of their houses. It looks like they have their own counter plan for a situation like this. There was also a band of very strange orcs heading this direction, they were acting strangely, I don’t trust it. We can either get out ahead of them, or try and wait and see if…

LIAM: Were they headed this way?

MARISHA: They were headed this way.

LIAM: We should probably move then.

LAURA: Did you see Scanlan?

MARISHA: Then we should– I did not see Scanlan.

TALIESIN: Let’s head towards the center of town.

LAURA: They might have him held prisoner.

MARISHA: They might have him held prisoner.

LIAM: Why didn’t we give a gatestone? We should always give the gnome a gatestone.

LAURA: Because we’re fucking morons!

MARISHA: I didn’t know he was going to go that far!

LAURA: I thought he was just going to the gate.

LIAM: Every time, that’s the thing, okay? Gate stone to the Scanlan.

TALIESIN: I promise when this is over, I will surgically implant it in him.

MARISHA: Scanlan, can you– Scanlan, can you hear us at all?

TALIESIN: Hello?

TRAVIS: Anything?

LIAM: We just gotta go in.

MARISHA: Dammit!

TALIESIN: I’m gonna start making my way on the rooftops towards the center of the town, I’m like “I’m heading in, I’m keeping to the roof, if I’m going to take any shots I’ll try and take them quietly.”

LAURA: I fly up and I– I go along the roofline with him. I fly up on the broom, and then I land on the rooftop and stealth.

MATT: Okay. It’s at this point in time you see the two giant eagles, the ones that took Keyleth off earlier. As you come up on your broom, it kind of sees you. (screech)

TALIESIN: Oh, I’ve been watching those things.

MATT: Right. And as you’re having this discussion, they notice up her float up and kind of see you guys moving in towards the city. One of them just turns around, heads back to the center of town.

LAURA: Eh, shitballs.

MATT: Another one’s taking a cheap shot at you. Towards you. Roll initiative. Everybody who’s gonna have anything to do with this right now.

TALIESIN: Oh, I’m getting in on this shit, too.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: How far away from our group are they?

LAURA: 24.

MATT: They’re probably a good–

LIAM: Way up high in the sky on this one?

MARISHA: Are we trying to get this–

MATT: We’re talking about 100 to 150 feet up, comparatively.

MARISHA: Are we trying to get this eagle? Is that what we’re trying–

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LAURA: It’s trying to kill me.

TALIESIN: 19.

MARISHA: Yeah, can I get in on that as well?

MATTHEW: Yeah, roll initiative. All right, so...?

LAURA: 24.

MATTHEW: 24, Jesus. And 19?

TALIESIN: 19.

ASHLEY: 18.

MATT: Nice!

ASHLEY: Yeah, man!

MATT: (sneezes) Sorry, what did you get?

ASHLEY: 18.

MATTHEW: 18, all right.

LAURA: Sarenrae blesses you.

TRAVIS: 17.

MARISHA: 12 for Keyleth.

MATTHEW: All right. All right. All right, Vex, as the eagle swoops in, you have a brief moment where it’s coming at you. You can go ahead and make your shots at it or whatever you wanna do this round. What do you want to do?

LAURA: How– if I, if I land on the ground and shoot at it, will it be within range?

MATTHEW: At the speed it’s going, you’re not gonna be able to get back on the ground this round unless you spend your whole round getting there.

LAURA: Then I shoot at it from the air.

MATTHEW: Okay, so two shots at a disadvantage.

LAURA: Uh, 25 on the first.

MATT: On the first, all righty, that hits.

LAURA: Okay. 17 on the first hit.

MATTHEW: 17 damage?

LAURA: Yes.

MATTHEW: All righty.

LAURA: And 24 on the second hit.

TRAVIS: Dang, girl.

MATTHEW: That hits.

LAURA: Uh, 13 on the second hit.

MATT: Okay, as you, this is with a disadvantage, right?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: As you release the first arrow, wings are up, giant sharp beak extended, its claws in the air, the arrow sinks into its body, but it still kind of just shakes it off, continuing going into a further dive toward you, its wings outward.

LAURA: Fucker!

MATT: The second arrow, the second arrow strikes at the side of the face, kinda scrapes across and embeds in front of its winged shoulder. At which point, its form goes (whooshing noise) into what you see to be a female elven form (gasps) and then just drops straight down for 100 feet.

TALIESIN: Into the pit? Into the pit?

MATT: Uh, no, this is more inside the city right now.

LIAM: Damn.

LAURA: But she was 250 feet up!

MATT: That turned out to be about 100 feet up.

LIAM: That still sounds pretty bad!

MARISHA: Really bad.

LIAM: I don’t wanna drop from…

TRAVIS: It’s like softball, right? I’m just waiting.

MATT: You guys watch as she just goes (falling sound, thud) (laughing) Like, there’s a little–

LAURA: Oh, no. A little elf puddle?

TALIESIN: Is that other one still booking?

MATTHEW: The other one’s still booking.

TALIESIN: Out of Bad News range?

MATT: Uh, no, still within Bad News range.

ASHLEY: Take the shot.

LAURA: Do it, Percy!

TALIESIN: I’m gonna, I’m gonna, not only am I gonna take a shot–

TRAVIS: Gonna ring that bell, are you?

TALIESIN: I’m gonna take a, gonna take a wing shot.

MARISHA: Keyleth runs towards the girl who fell.

LAURA: Good job, good job, guys.

MATTHEW: So you start heading in that direction.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATTHEW: Taking your two shots.

TALIESIN: I’m gonna do a ring shot, we’ll see what happens.

TRAVIS: If you miss, we move.

MATTHEW: Okay.

TALIESIN: Oh, yeah, that’s 28.

MATT: 28 hits.

TALIESIN: This is gonna suck for her. Here we go.

(explosion noise)

LAURA: Really loud–

MATTHEW: Loud, echoing blasts–

TALIESIN: They knew we were coming already.

MATTHEW: Echoing through the city.

TALIESIN: They’re already gathering people in the center of town. A little late now. We kill a bunch of them, oh God, that’s awful.

MARISHA: Yeah, that’s pretty bad.

TALIESIN: Uh, 13 points of piercing damage.

MATTHEW: Okay.

TALIESIN: And she also has to make a strength saving throw.

MATT: Uh, that is gonna be a…

TALIESIN: 19?

MATT: Not going to beat that. 12.

TALIESIN: I think she– It says she gets knocked prone, so I don’t know what you want to call that for something flying, but–

MATT: That’s, she’s falling now.

TALIESIN: Yep.

MATT: And so she’s falling, you hit her, one of the wings and she begins plummeting downward, not able to gather air at the moment underneath the wings. Are you taking your second shot?

TALIESIN: Uh, sure, I’ll just take, and for this one, I’m gonna be an asshole and just take a sharpshooter shot.

MATTHEW: Okay.

TALIESIN: And I’ll use the big die!

MATTHEW: Go for it.

TALIESIN: Trade up. Uh, that’s a–

MATT: I’ll say before you commit, I’ll say this has disadvantage because it went from flying at a smooth pace to plummeting and you have to quickly–

TALIESIN: I had to reload in the middle, so like– Yeah. I’m, like, skeet shooting here.

MATTHEW: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Ugh. That’s a, I’m gonna miss. That’s like a 5 to hit, so that… That’s 12.

MATT: 12 just hits. (gasps) Giant eagle AC is not that great, man!

TALIESIN: That’s so sad! Oh God, I feel bad now! (laughing)

LAURA: 12?

MATTHEW: Giant eagle doesn’t have a crazy AC.

TALIESIN: That, oh man, I really feel–

MATTHEW: It’s more of a travel form, it’s not meant for…

MARISHA: Fighting.

MATT: You know, main fighting. The one that was going for you is just 'cause you were the one that was nearest to it. It wasn’t expecting a hail of arrows in its face.

TALIESIN: 29 points of damage.

MATT: And with that, you see it falls an eagle, and then (whooshing noise) into a person, it falls– (laughing) and disappear behind the skyline of the building of Westruun that block your view of the center of town.

TALIESIN: I got a grit point back. Well, they don’t know who’s coming, at least.

ASHLEY: Are we close enough to loot that first body?

MATT: Sure, you guys–

MARISHA: Well, I was headed that way.

ASHLEY: We’re headed that way.

MATT: You guys then–

TALIESIN: I’m staying on the roof.

MATT: Moving around the chasm you created, you head inside the western gate of Westruun at this point.

MARISHA: Hang on, wait, well, oh, I’m headed to the body still? It’s inside the gate?

MATT: Yeah. Yeah, it fell inside the gate of the city. You approach, and it’s a rough scene. Fell on, like, the head and the shoulder. The rest of the body’s kind of–

LAURA: Ew!

MATT: Accordioned in.

MARISHA: I look at the body. Does it appear to be any druid related to the Ashari clan?

MATT: Looking it over, make an investigation check.

TALIESIN: Figure out which end is up first.

MARISHA: I need a really good check. My investigation’s not very good.

SAM: It’s your dad!

TALIESIN: Oh!

(laughing)

MARISHSA: 20.

MATT: 20. You take a quick glance over, checking where any ceremonial markings of the Ashari are, none. This individual appears to be more of a primal-based Druidic talent. There are tattoos, pretty basic, various animal totems that are inscribed on the body. You’re familiar with this form of druidic magic. It’s a less-refined version of what the Ashari people learn and teach.

MARISHA: Gotcha.

MATT: But yeah, there’s no inclination this is a member of the Ashari.

MARISHA: Okay. So, is there anything good on her?

MATT: There is a… A soaked set of leather armor. (chuckles)

TRAVIS: Soaked in what?

MARISHA: Non-magical?

MATT: Non-magical, from what you can gather.

SAM: Pee.

MATT: And what looks to be a shattered quarter-staff that may have been landed on. (groans) Beyond that, you’re gonna have to get sifting through the remains, it’s not gonna be a fun experience for what little you may gather.

MARISHA: I’ll let it go.

LIAM: You gonna start harvesting?

MARISHA: I’ll let it go.

(laughing)

MATTHEW: “Start harvesting.”

TRAVIS: She made her choice.

(laughing)

TALIESIN: Well, I’m gonna start rooftopping towards the center. If I see anything interesting going on in the city, I wanna stop and investigate.

LAURA: Ditto!

MATT: Sneaking from rooftop to rooftop?

TALIESIN: If I can, can I do a bit of– I’m gonna do that, for sure. Can I use acrobatics?

MATT: This more of a-- this isn’t acrobatics, this is more of a jump. Because there are large, large city street gaps that are like 25 to 30 feet.

LAURA: What about parkouring?

TALIESIN: But if I can parkour it, I can find, I wanna be able to…

MARISHA: Parkour, parkour!

TALIESIN: I wanna try and be smart about it and find it any way I can make it.

MATT: Right, make an acrobatics check.

TALIESIN: An acrobatics check? Thank you.

SAM: Amateur Spider-man.

LAURA: Can I join in? I was gonna join in. Up there.

MATTHEW: Do you want to get off your broom and do that?

LAURA: That was the thing, yeah, I was gonna fly up on the broom and land on the roofs and then–

MATTHEW: Gotcha. Yeah, so you go ahead and you get up with him and you can go– the two of you can start, like, parkouring off the rooftop.

LIAM: There’s a mechanical engineer on the roof.

(laughing)

TALIESIN: 23.

MATTHEW: 23?

SAM: (screams)

MATT: You guys make it a couple of streets before you reach a point where this block does, 'cause the main street intersects with another main street that goes southward and the gap is about 30 feet to jump across and you know from experience that you couldn’t do that with a regular jump.

TALIESIN: I’ve got an idea. If you give me the broom, I’ll just hold on and plant me down if we see anything. We’ll just keep low by the roof.

(laughing)

LAURA: Can’t you just sit on the broom with me?

LIAM: What is going on, are Grog and Pike and I just supposed to stand over here by the gate? Are you guys gonna head off?

MARISHA: We have a plan.

TALIESIN: I thought we were going in. We’re heading into the city–

LAURA: I thought we were all going in.

MARISHA: I mean, we had a plan, and then we didn’t have a plan, so we have like…

LIAM: We’re going seven different directions.

MATT: You look up as you see, suddenly glance overhead, a shadow from one rooftop to another. Make a perception check.

SAM: Uh, 18.

TALIESIN: It’s Batman!

SAM: 18.

MATT: You glance up and you see the dangling, kicking feet of Percy underneath a broom that just (wooshing noise) across the top of that.

SAM: All right.

TALIESIN: I didn’t know there was room on there!

SAM: They’re traveling, yes?

MATT: Yeah, they’re traveling back inward to the city.

SAM: All right. Well, that’s good. I can’t, I probably can’t catch up. I’m just gonna keep hoofing it.

LAURA: Wait, but the earrings!

SAM: Oh wait, I can hear, yes, yes! Ooh! (laughing) Thank you, I forgot about that! Uh, yeah. Hey, hi, oi, guys, oi, oi.

LAURA: Scanlan!

SAM: Oi, oi. How’s it going? Did my plan work?

MARISHA: I don’t know, did your plan work?

TALIESIN: What was your plan?

SAM: My plan was to send all the Goliaths, all of them, out through the main gate. Did they all come through the main gate?

ALL: No.

LAURA: No, definitely not.

LIAM: If there was only six, it worked.

MARISHA: Scanlan, it appears they are doubling down in the center of the town. Do you have any idea on why they would be doing this?

SAM: Well, I don’t know, they’re very perceptive. I may have alerted all of them to our presence.

MARISHA: Oh, fantastic.

SAM: But… It was a distraction.

MARISHA: Sure.

SAM: And in a sense, that was my mission, so–

TALIESIN: A distraction from what?

LAURA: You know what, we killed nine of them.

MARISHA: A distraction from their terrible, terrible lives.

TRAVIS: Good job, Scanlan, mission accomplished.

SAM: Yes, thank you, thank you.

ASHLEY: Hey Scanlan, I’m glad you’re okay.

SAM: Oh, thanks, is that Pike?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

SAM: Oh, hi, Pike!

ASHLEY: Hi!

SAM: Oh, how’s it going out there?

ASHLEY: Oh, it’s good, it’s good–

TALIESIN: Can we do this–

SAM: Okay, okay, okay. What should I do, where should I go, who should I kill?

LIAM: Stay put and let us come to you. What do you see around you?

MARISHA: Yeah, where are you?

SAM: Idiots on broomsticks flying around.

LAURA: Oh, shit, that’s us!

MARISHA: All right. Can we all convene in an alley?

MATT: You do. You convene in an alley. Within the next few minutes, a little bit of a confusing telephone bit going back and forth, but you do eventually gather. At this time, you guys do hear what sounds like some voices shouting about a block and a half up the way.

LAURA: Shit.

MARISHA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Are there buildings?

SAM: Are we all together now?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATTHEW: Yeah.

SAM: By the way, hi, hi, this is me.

LAURA: Oh my god, you don’t even look like yourself.

SAM: I look pretty cool.

TRAVIS: It’s so good to see you. We should get inside for a moment.

MARISHA: We should. Is there a wine cellar or door or something that we can beat in, or a window?

MATT: There are windows, you don’t see a wine cellar in the immediate vicinity of this alleyway.

LIAM: I’ll get it open quietly, I’m not gonna break anything!

TRAVIS: Can I look in the window first?

MATT: Yeah, you go ahead and glance in. Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: I see nothing. It’s a 2.

MATTHEW: It is very dark. There’s no light inside, and–

LAURA: What about our darkvision? Can we see anything in there?

MATT: No. Even if your darkvision, you guys see as well, there’s nothing inside. The building appears to be vacant.

LIAM: Is it locked?

MATT: The window is locked. Very minor lock.

LIAM: Well, I just rolled a natural 20, so…

LAURA: You wasted it on a window?

MATTHEW: That was the most deft unlocking you’ve ever done.

LIAM: I hit it like Fonzie. Yeah.

(laughing)

LAURA: We pop in the window.

MATT: Great. You guys all crawl inside of the room, and looking inside, you do notice that the… Some of the furniture is kind of tipped over, the front door, actually, that leads out to the main road, the south-facing road, the knob is broken off like someone just kicked the door in. And it looks like there were signs of a minor struggle, but there’s no bloodshed from what you can see. Most of, if any, belongings that had any value have been taken. The place looks stripped of anything metallic. It looks like it’s been pretty heavily ransacked inside here.

MARISHA: Grog.

TRAVIS: Yeah?

MARISHA: They were dragging everyone out of every available door, and dragging them to the city, the center of the city. Why?

TRAVIS: People shields. Meat shields.

MARISHA: Meat shields?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: Right. Okay.

TRAVIS: So we go to them, and if we get too close, they slit all their throats. It’s like basic Goliath logic.

LAURA: Lovely.

LIAM: So is maybe the one-on-one combat our only option at the moment?

MARISHA: Do we have any other option?

SAM: How many were there total? We don’t know how many…

TRAVIS: Probably 30 to 40 now.

SAM: Oh, okay.

TALIESIN: Probably down to 20 or 30.

SAM: Well. Wait, there was 30 or 40 to start, and we killed nine of them?

TRAVIS: Remember, he said we were down to like 50. We killed, like, nine-ish.

SAM: Oh, so 40-ish. So two left.

LAURA: Six left, Grog, then, six?

TRAVIS: Yeah, it’s like a thousand.

(laughing)

TALIESIN: Let’s…

MARISHA: Okay. All right.

SAM: I’ve got a plan. I go to the center of town.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: I create a distraction.

(laughing)

LAURA: Seriously?

SAM: That’s pretty much all my plans are, always.

TRAVIS: What time is it?

MATTHEW: Right now, you’re pushing early afternoon. It’s probably, I’d say the equivalent of about 1, 1:30.

LAURA: Jeez.

TRAVIS: Perfect. Last question I have. Do we know where Wilhand’s residence used to be?

MATTHEW: You do, you would know very well. It’s outside of town.

MATTHEW: You spent a lot of your time–

TRAVIS: Outside or inside of town?

MATT: It’s inside the town, but it’s a little bit northwest of the center area. So it’s closer to where a lot of the temples and the worship areas are, and there is a small park there that was across the way.

TALIESIN: That may be something useful.

MATT: It’s a red brick building. It stands out against a lot of it, because it was built specifically to kind of be the small, gnomish hovel that was built buy his own hands.

TRAVIS: So when attacking, right, once you’ve given up your position, it loses its worth. So my suggestion would be that we move to approach from another vantage point, or we can just kick this thing off and I walk in. I’m fine either way.

MARISHA: All right, well… Are we nearby a sewer system? Scanlan, do you know?

SAM: Oh, I happen to know exactly where a sewer system is.

MARISHA: We can try and sewer cross town. Or we can just walk right in.

SAM: Where are we trying to get?

LAURA: To the center of town.

TRAVIS: We thought about seeing if maybe we could get to Wilhand’s house.

SAM: Where is that, and why would we be there?

TRAVIS: Well, that’s Pike’s grandfather.

SAM: So I know, but does that provide us with some strategic advantage?

TRAVIS: No, but we might be able to see if he’s all right.

TALIESIN: They’ve probably dragged him to the center of town by now.

MARISHA: How can we get through this? Go ahead, Pike.

ASHLEY: We could go to the center of town and check to see if he’s there. After we take care of business… And then hopefully he’s not there. I mean, he could provide a lot of help.

LAURA: Maybe we go to his house first. He’s your grandfather.

TRAVIS: If we go to the center of town -

LAURA: It’s all going down.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: How do we get out of this with the most - or sorry, with the least civilian casualties, Grog?

TRAVIS: I’m not really thinking that far ahead.

MARISHA: Sure.

TALIESIN: We were supposed to also pick something up.

SAM: Yes, a two-story–

LAURA: We can do that after.

TALIESIN: Here’s the thing.

SAM: Well, wait. The thing might help us, who knows?

LAURA: It was a red brick two-story home–

SAM: Near the fountain.

LAURA: With dark wood.

SAM: Wait–

LAURA: Near the fountain crossroads.

SAM: Pike, do you know this house?

TRAVIS: Doesn’t that sound like the house that–

ASHLEY: That’s Wilhand’s house.

MATT: Wilhand’s house is on the– in the temple district stands out because it’s a small little, like, red brick area. The one that he’s talking about is more of a classic kind of dark wood with red brick outside, like the way he described it was it’s very colonial-style, but like with a brick base built around it.

TRAVIS: Is that not the leader of, the guy that runs the Westruun–

LAURA: That was Master Quall’s house.

TRAVIS: Master Quall.

MATT: Master Quall was just the master. He’s his own little–

TRAVIS: That’s not that house.

MATT: No. The Margrave’s house is the one that’s in the town square, and that’s where Kevdak apparently has taken as his homestead.

TRAVIS: Right, and that’s not the description of that.

TALIESIN: So we either start this now, or we prepare. There are pluses and minuses to both thoughts.

SAM: They have a bunch of innocent people who they may just start killing.

MARISHA: Here’s my question. If we wait, will they ever, theoretically, let them go? Or is it easier to just slit their throats?

TRAVIS: No.

MARISHA: Then we shouldn’t wait.

TALIESIN: We shouldn’t wait.

MARISHA: We shouldn’t wait.

LAURA: Then we just do it.

TALIESIN: Those of us with distance, we make, we find positions around the square.

LAURA: We stealth around.

SAM: The second we start attacking, they will start killing, so…

LAURA: He walks in on his own, challenges Kevdak to a duel.

SAM: On your own?

TRAVIS: So it’ll go like this. Everybody get high vantage points, so I walk in, I’m pretty sure if I call him out he’ll step aside and we’ll do this thing. If it starts going poorly, I leave it to your discretion.

TALIESIN: Or if other people start getting iffy with the civilians, we can start taking shots. I know I can drop a few before they do anything.

MARISHA: I’ve burned both of my wild shaping abilities for right now. Unless we wanted to take a brief rest to regain our thoughts.

TALIESIN: This is sort of a brief rest.

MARISHA: Is this considered, like, a short rest?

MATT: No, a short rest is like a half an hour to an hour of, like, intentional–

TRAVIS: We can afford it, we can take that.

MARISHA: A half hour?

LAURA: Will they start killing people?

TALIESIN: Not in half an hour.

TRAVIS: No, they won’t do it for no reason. They don’t even know where we are.

MARISHA: Yeah, 30 minutes is nothing in a hostage situation.

TRAVIS: Take a short rest if you want to.

MARISHA: All right, let’s take a short rest and we’ll finish fleshing out this plan.

MATTHEW: Okay.

MARISHA: Does anyone else need to heal up?

TALIESIN: I’m good.

MARISHA: I wanna burn a hit dice.

LAURA: I am too.

ASHLEY: I can--

LAURA: Yeah, but I don’t want you to waste any spells.

LIAM: Save it.

LAURA: I can use a hit die.

TRAVIS: The Margrave house, when they were flying over in mist form, there was something that looked like it was red and smeared on the outside of the walls. Was that the Margrave house?

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: Are we close to the edge of town?

MATT: About, like, a five, six minute walk. A brisk jog, I should say. It’s close, but it’s not, like, right outside.

SAM: Okay.

TALIESIN: That’s what I would say is my plan, if you feel like walking, we can point guard you from a distance and make sure if anyone tries to attack.

MARISHA: Well, we should try and probably have a few people on civilian duty as well, kind of like we did before.

TALIESIN: Yes. That would be perfect, if you’re willing to… No, that’s, that can’t, you don’t still have the house that you can summon, do you?

SAM: Of course I do.

TALIESIN: Can we put that door somewhere and start sending people, if we liberate them, to it?

SAM: Of course we can. However, it would have to be somewhere close to where the hostages are. They would definitely see their hostages jumping into a magical hole–

TALIESIN: We could put your magical hole inside of a building and send people into the building so that it’s got, like, double cover.

MARISHA: And if anyone finds your magical hole, they can jump in it, or do they have to have permission?

SAM: By the way, so many jokes, so many jokes. (laughing) Resisting.

TALIESIN: You’re being very good. Very firm on this one.

LIAM: What happens if you lure a Goliath and orc into the magical hole, do they get stuck in there?

SAM: I imagine they’ll have a lovely chicken dinner.

MARISHA: Yeah, 'cause after 24 hours, they get kicked out.

LAURA: They can leave when they want.

LIAM: They can come and go as they please, so it’s not like a roach motel.

LAURA: No.

SAM: Vex can capture one of them.

LAURA: I can.

(sighs)

TALIESIN: That’s good to know.

MARISHA: Okay.

TRAVIS: If we know the city this well, how far would you say is Wilhand’s place from where we are now?

MATT: I’d say it’s about…

TRAVIS: Mile and a half?

MATT: Yeah, about a 20, 25 minute walk north from where you are right now. It’s a little ways… A little ways west of Noja’s old store, and… Yeah, it’s about 25 minutes.

TRAVIS: Would you like to go first and see if he’s there?

ASHLEY: It’s choosing between the people in town or–

TALIESIN: You don’t have to.

MARISHA: You can send a couple of us to go check in.

TALIESIN: I grab the stone. Go check, come back–

SAM: Wait. I’m sorry, but we need Pike with us.

TALIESIN: She can go check, and she’ll be back within 60 seconds.

SAM: She has to get there, she’s the worst at stealth.

TALIESIN: That’s very fair. But we can send someone and have them right back. I mean, it’s not…

LAURA: What if she, what if we go there and we find him, and then what, you can pop back, but he’s alone? You can’t pop two people back with the stone.

LIAM: I’ll go.

SAM: I can pop us back.

LIAM: We can send him back, and then I can get back on my own.

TRAVIS: You don’t know where you’re going.

LIAM: Pike, can you tell me how to get there?

ASHLEY: Yes.

LIAM: I’ve walked city streets that I’ve never been in before.

TALIESIN: We can start getting into our positions and then when you’re done, you can join one of us.

MARISHA: What’s gonna be the benefit of finding him before the fight, as opposed to after?

TALIESIN: That’s fair. Well, unless they’re holding him.

MARISHA: Unless they’re holding him.

TALIESIN: But they wouldn’t be holding him, because they don’t expect us, they don’t know it’s us that’s coming.

MARISHA: Well, then he’s either safe in his house, or he’s in the middle of the town square. Either of which–

TALIESIN: She has a fair point.

TRAVIS: I’m good either way.

SAM: We’re okay.

LIAM: Also if we cut off the head of the snake, there’s no issue.

TALIESIN: It doesn't matter.

TRAVIS: Let’s do it, let’s go towards–

ASHLEY: And he is a very powerful cleric, if we do find him. So it would be nice to have some extra help.

TALIESIN: He may already be there.

ASHLEY: And if he’s-- I feel like we should go town, because that’s a lot more people than one person.

SAM: Is his house near where we’re going, or no?

TRAVIS: No.

MATT: It’s a wide arc, you have to go up and over to get to the center of town. The center of town’s not, like, right center. It’s kind of, like, north center.

MARISHA: I mean, I could mist there, and I could do something to get there faster.

TALIESIN: No, we’re gonna need–

TRAVIS: You don’t need to.

ASHLEY: We need your spells.

LAURA: Yeah, don’t waste your spells.

TRAVIS: Look, let’s just face this, wish each other good luck, and we’ll meet in the middle.

MARISHA: Are we going to flank the entire city center?

TALIESIN: We’re going to make this, it’s a town square, if I recall. There’s like a, they’ve got a barricade. Correct me if I’m wrong. They’ve got a section of the city, of the town, barricaded off.

MATT: Well, it’s not so much a barricade more than they have short little barricades built in for, like, anti-cavalry and for any large, like, siege attempts or…

TALIESIN: So we can slowly, we can start to surround it. We can be stealthy and singular, we can keep in contact.

MARISHA: I can use Earth Elemental to glide and literally pop out right in the center of town and avoid everything.

TALIESIN: You could walk right in.

SAM: But you don’t want them to see you.

MARISHA: I would be underground.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I just plan to walk right in.

SAM: And Grog, when you fight this person, if he agrees to this one-on-one combat, is it gonna be fists or a sword?

TRAVIS: I have no idea.

(laughing)

MARISHA: Grog, I guess my one concern is what’s stopping them from slitting all of these people’s throats at any drop of a second?

TRAVIS: A warrior’s honor.

MARISHA: A warrior’s honor?

TALIESIN: That’s weird, but good enough for me.

MARISHA: And do you think you can evoke that?

TALIESIN: I guarantee it.

MARISHA: Men’s Warehouse.

(laughing)

TRAVIS: Just crazy enough for it to work.

ASHLEY: You’re gonna like the way you look! I guarantee it!

(laughing)

MARISHA: Okay.

TRAVIS: I leave it up to your artistic influences on where you go from here.

TALIESIN: Don’t be afraid to call your friends if you need help.

MARISHA: If I’m Earth Elemental, I won’t be able to speak, so I’ll be relying on you.

TALIESIN: You’ll be hearing on me.

MARISHA: I’ll be hearing on you.

ASHLEY: I’m gonna go– I’m gonna stay with Grog.

MATT: Okay. Are you guys bee lining it, like straight through–

MARISHA: No, I was gonna say–

MATTHEW: Or are you, like, arcing past Noja’s place, or are you going by the Cobalt Reserve, or are you--

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATTHEW: What’s your plan?

MARISHA: Are we going for the element of surprise? Would it be better for me to Earth Elemental and blast out in the middle, or would it be better for me to flank with the rest of you?

LIAM: It’s gonna go south if Kevdak sees any of us pop out of the windows. I think that Grog’s right, he needs to go in alone. We need to be hidden–

LAURA: We need to flank and be completely stealthy.

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: And if shit goes south, then we go in.

MARISHA: Okay.

SAM: Is there anything we can give Grog to help him? Can’t you bless him or something?

TRAVIS: I do have a question.

MATTHEW: Yeah?

MARISHA: I can enhance his ability.

TRAVIS: Nah, never mind.

LIAM: Are you attuned out, maybe?

MARISHA: What were you gonna say?

TRAVIS: Yeah, I was gonna see if I should switch out the Gauntlets of Ogre Strength for these Bracers of Defense that give me +2 to my AC, but if I wear that, then it takes out my natural armor.

LIAM: What about–

MATT: No, it’s not considered armor. Not actually wearing armor, it’s designed for somebody who does not, so…

LIAM: Grog.

LAURA: Well, that’s good.

LIAM: Grog! What if I lend you my boots? Which, when you put your heels together, will also help your armor out a bit, or help your chances of being hit. Helps me attack faster. You can give them back to me tomorrow.

MARISHA: And I can give you enhanced constitution.

TRAVIS: No. No. I’ve learned that my strength is with my friends and my friends have their own strengths. To each their own. I don’t want you all handicapping yourself for me. I would like to change out my Bracers of Defense to get a +2 to my AC for the Gauntlets of Ogre Strength.

MATT: Okay. So your strength is now a 17. You take a +2 to your armor class.

TRAVIS: The AC goes to 21.

MATTHEW: Correct.

TRAVIS: Okay. Because it goes to 17, my modifier is +3.

SAM: Would you like some extra strength for your…

MARISHA: Yes, remember, Grog, that mine and Scanlan’s strengths are in helping the rest of our friends and our fellow allies. So we can grant you enhanced abilities.

TRAVIS: Do you have to do it now? I would much rather you just did it on your own and maybe not tell me about it.

MARISHA: Well, I could do it ahead of time–

LAURA: Just do it!

TALIESIN: Just give him a big hug right now.

LIAM: Ix-nay on the elp-hay.

LAURA: Just hug him. Just hug him!

TALIESIN: I push her towards him.

LIAM: Give him a hug for good luck.

MARISHA: Grog?

TRAVIS: Oh, shit, what is this?

MARISHA: Grog.

TRAVIS: Hello.

MARISHA: We believe in you.

TRAVIS: Yep.

MARISHA: And I cast enhance ability, and I give him enhanced, or I could get him, like… I’m gonna give him Bear’s Endurance, which gives him advantage on constitution checks and he gains an additional 2d6 temporary hit points.

MATT: Okay. Go ahead and roll 2d6.

MARISHA: Me?

MATTHEW: Yep.

MARISHA: Big money, no whammies! That’s not great, 6.

MATT: You have 6 temporary hit points, and you have advantage on constitution checks.

TRAVIS: Advantage on constitution–

MATTHEW: Not saving throws. Constitution checks.

TRAVIS: Checks, okay.

MATTHEW: There are no skills that are constitution-based.

MARISHA: Would it have been better to do strength?

MATTHEW: When he rages, he gets advantage on strength anyway.

MARISHA: Oh, he already gets advantage on strength. Okay.

TALIESIN: He’ll be okay.

MATTHEW: But, you know, if it comes up.

TRAVIS: Well, now that we’re done being all touchy-feely or whatever the hell that was–

SAM: Well, wait, wait, wait.

TRAVIS: Oh, Jesus.

SAM: So wait, sorry, it’s just, I found this old joke book, I thought you might wanna hear this joke. And I pull out my… (laughing) Bull strength scroll.

TALIESIN: Oh, thank god.

SAM: And I’m gonna read him the bull strength scroll. Can I affect him with the +5 strength?

MATT: Well, the bull strength, as an ability, just gives him advantage on strength, which he already has.

SAM: Oh! I thought it was a +5 to strength, no?

MATT: You must’ve pulled those stats out of the old Pathfinder game.

SAM: Oh. I have had this for a long time. Well then, in that case, I’ll just, I’ll sing you a rousing song to put you on your way! (clears throat) ♫ The stars at night ♫ Are big and bright (clapping) ♫ Deep in the beard of Strongjaw ♫

(laughing)

MATT: Take your d10.

TRAVIS: Okay.

ASHLEY: I’m going to cast Aid.

MATTHEW: Okay, and at what level?

ASHLEY: I’m gonna do fourth level.

MATTHEW: Okay.

ASHLEY: And I’m gonna cast it, I can cast it on three.

MATTHEW: Three people, for +15.

ASHLEY: +15.

MATTHEW: Who else do you choose?

ASHLEY: So I will choose… Vex. Scanlan, how many hit points are you? How many hits points do you have?

SAM: Uh… I’m okay.

TALIESIN: One of these two.

SAM: Never worry about me.

MARISHA: Does it stack with Grog's?

LAURA: Get Scanlan, Scanlan goes unconscious in combat a lot.

SAM: Never worry about me.

MARISHA: You can’t do it multiple times.

ASHLEY: Scanlan?

SAM: Yes, my love.

ASHLEY: I would like to aid you as well.

SAM: I really, I don’t need, I don’t need any help, I’m fine.

MARISHA: Just shut up and take it, Scanlan.

SAM: Is there some sort of–

TALIESIN: Too late!

SAM: Is there some sort of ritual that we need to do together to make this happen?

ASHLEY: This happened so fast.

(laughing)

MATTHEW: And as she says that, there’s a blast of warm light across your chest that fades as she has already turned around. However, Vex, Grog, and Scanlan, you guys, your maximum hit points are increased by 15. And you get those 15 extra hit points for the next eight hours.

SAM: Great.

LAURA: Nice!

MATT: Not concentration. Anything else you want to cast?

ASHLEY: No.

MATTHEW: No? Okay.

LAURA: I tap Grog on the shoulder and I flash him. (laughing) Go get it, soldier!

TRAVIS: I can’t lose!

SAM: Wait, wait, wait!

(laughing)

TALIESIN: Don’t you dare die happy.

SAM: Didn’t we just talk about this?

LAURA: What?

SAM: Give him the fucking rock! The rock that he can bamf out of there with!

TALIESIN: It takes a minute.

SAM: So? It’s something.

TALIESIN: A minute’s a long time.

SAM: Oh, all right, forget it!

TRAVIS: I reach into my Bag of Holding and I pull out my trusty salt lick rock, and I kneel down to Pike. I say, “Hey, hold this for me, all right?”

ASHLEY: Okay.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Just keep it safe, I don’t like getting blood on it.

ASHLEY: But listen. I can’t lose you twice in one day, okay?

TRAVIS: Oh, no, I’m not going anywhere. We’re just going to meet some really bad folks and we’re gonna set 'em straight.

ASHLEY: Okay. (laughing) Go get 'em, okay?

MARISHA: That was the cutest thing!

TRAVIS: Now, I walk out.

1:42:25

LAURA: Oh, God, no!

MATT: Are you guys following behind, or just letting him do his thing?

LAURA: We stealth, like–

MARISHA: We watch him leave.

MATTHEW: Okay.

LAURA: I cast Pass Without a Trace on all of us.

MARISHA: And then we stealth.

MATT: Any other last-minute things you’re gonna help Grog with? Or are we done?

TALIESIN: We’re good.

MATT: Okay. Everyone’s good?

MARISHA: He’s pretty stacked.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: -Ish.

ASHLEY: We can stay close to him, though, right?

TALIESIN: I like that we managed to make, like, solving problems with violence into an ABC afternoon special, really.

MATTHEW: Kind of, yeah. Remarkable. Uh, okay.

LAURA: I cast Pass Without a Trace on us so we can stealth.

MATT: All right. So, the rest of you, go ahead and make your stealth check.

MARISHA: Ooh!

MATTHEW: Which direction are you traveling, Grog, by the way?

TRAVIS: I guess just towards the heart of town.

MATT: Just beelining it straight to the center?

TRAVIS: Not stopping.

MATT: Okay. All righty. So, stealth?

ASHLEY: 14.

SAM: Oh my god!

MATTHEW: With the ten?

ASHLEY: What’s that?

MATTHEW: Plus ten.

ASHLEY: Oh! Then, 24!

SAM: Thank God.

LAURA: 29.

LIAM: 39.

MARISHA: 33.

TALIESIN: 34.

SAM: 21.

MATT: All right. Grog is not going stealthy, or are you just walking through?

TRAVIS: Just walking through.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: (hums exciting music)

MATTHEW: As you guys follow suit, dodging from alley to alley, Grog, you step into the main roadway– okay, you want rooftop? You and Percy?

LAURA: Percy, are you going to the rooftop?

MATT: All right, both of you guys roll acrobatics checks, we’ll just say as a continuation of this. Natural one?

ASHLEY: No, that was a seven.

LAURA: Was it?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: No, I think it was a one!

(laughing)

MATTHEW: Nice try.

ASHLEY: That thing was so–

(laughing)

LAURA: It might have been a seven, but I thought it was a one.

MATT: Well, regardless, you guys get about 30 feet before (thud) (laughing) Vex, you suffer eight points of damage as you plummet off–

LAURA: Come on!

MATTHEW: Of this, the second-story buildings, and land–

LAURA: I have a broom to get up to the top, you know!

MATT: I know, and unfortunately, your foot found one of those loose shingles, and you lost your grip on the broom, tumbled, landed, at which your broom then (thud) about two feet in front of you on the ground.

LAURA: I caught it. I didn’t want it to–

TALIESIN: You are the shadow that stalks the guilty.

(laughing)

MATTHEW: So you kind of look over your shoulder for a second. Keep marching forward. You get about four blocks before you see a group of four individuals, no Goliaths among them. It appears to be two humans, a male and a female, and one elf, and one halfling. They’re all smeared and muddy streaks across the face. The halfling has the head completely shaved off and it has the two kind of lined scars over the top of the face to the back of the head. They all turn the corner and look over at you. Take a moment to kind of look for any sort of recognition. They look at each other and begin to walk forward, drawing their weapons.

TRAVIS: Oh, lads, lads, no need for that. I’ve traveled quite a long way. See, I’m part of a ranging party for Kevdak. It’s very important that I see him. You see, we’re family. Now, you can either take me to him, or I can drag you to him.

MATT: The elf kind of steps forward and pushes the others away. Draws these two thin short swords from the side. They look kind of jagged and chipped like they’ve seen quite a few battles. Leans forward and kind of puts one eye on you, leaning on the side as he approaches. “Kevdak, you say? Family, you say? I’ve not seen your face, nor the travels you’ve had with the herd. But you say family.”

TRAVIS: Don’t make me repeat myself.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

TRAVIS: (gasps) Natural 20!

MATT: The others behind draw their weapons, one of them pulls out this, like, long nasty double-headed great ax and kind of lets it down to the side and begins to step forward. The halfling draws this gnarled spiked-tip whip, then kind of like cracks it on the ground, begins stepping forward. The female to the left of the elf goes ahead and draws this long, thin rapier that almost has a curve to it and begins to point it forward as the elf takes the two blades and puts it out and stops the rest of them. He goes, “All right, family of Kevdak. If you’re lying, it’ll be fun to watch you scream as he tears the head from you. Walk to the front.”

TRAVIS: Lead the way.

MATT: “Walk to the front.”

TRAVIS: And I walk past them to the front.

MATT: All right. The four of them flank behind you, blades still drawn, and just slowly walk about ten feet to your–

TRAVIS: May I ask you, as I was approaching this city, I saw a dragon fly over. Picked up one who looked just like me and flew away. What’s it like being the bitch of a dragon?

MATT: There’s a long pause as you keep walking. And eventually the same elven voice pipes up and goes, “Well, I imagine the gnashing teeth of such a beast would be comparably painful as the gnashing tips of these blades if you don’t shut your mouth, Goliath scum.”

TRAVIS: You’ll be feeling the tips of those before I feel the tips of any teeth of dragons.

(laughing)

MATT: “Oh, there’s many a teeth waiting for you where you walk, friend. Keep going. Your insolence amuses me." As you guys are kind of keeping back, I need everyone to make another stealth check.

LIAM: That guy tortures small animals, by the way.

TALIESIN: Natural 20.

MARISHA: Oh, 21.

SAM: 24.

LIAM: 39.

ASHLEY: 12?

LAURA: Plus 10?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

SAM: Ooh, that’s our girl!

LAURA: 37.

MATT: All right. As you guys are stalking behind, there’s a moment where you all duck into one of the alleyways and as Pike spins into the alley, the edge of her shoulder armor, being wider than her actual form, catches the edge of the building, causing this large (clang) sound, the sound of bending metal clanging against itself. At which point, the troop behind Grog immediately spins around. “Did you hear that? Is anyone following us?” And as you’ve kind of kept walking forward, you feel the point of a blade just kind of gently press into your lower back.

TRAVIS: Good lord, you’re awful jumpy. See, when I was last with this herd, the mates that I ran around with weren’t so quick to jump and hide behind their mother’s skirts. Keep your attention focused on me, son. We’ve got important dealings to meet with.

MATT: "Keep walking." The blade pulls back. As you continue to step forward, you hear a little whisper behind you. And you kind of glance over and look as the halfling and the female with the hooked rapier both break off and begin heading back towards the alleyway.

LAURA: Perfect.

SAM: No problem.

MATT: So, as you guys continue to step forward, you guys now lurking in the alley kind of pull off into the shadow. Listening, you hear very, very light footsteps beginning to find their way in your direction.

LAURA: Can we wait until they come around the corner?

TALIESIN: I’m gonna continue– I’m gonna continue following Grog just–

SAM: Are we gonna wait and jump them? Or do you want me to stop them?

LIAM: We’re all split, right?

MATT: You guys are all, are you guys divided into different groups?

SAM: No, we’re all together.

LIAM: You’re on a roof, you’re on a–

LAURA: No, I’m not on a roof, I fell off the roof.

TALIESIN: I’m on a roof.

MATTHEW: Yeah, Percy’s up on a roof.

TALIESIN: I’m letting them know - I didn’t want to interrupt that because it was fabulous, but… I’ve been trying to, like, keep everybody informed of what I’ve been seeing and just like, “two splitting off, they’re heading towards there.” I’m gonna continue with Grog.

LAURA: I think we should lie in wait until they come around the corner, and then– (mimics choking sound)

TALIESIN: I’ll count them down when they turn around.

LAURA: Okay, I’ll wait to shoot an arrow until they come around the corner.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Two of them?

MATT: Two of them, yes.

TALIESIN: Two of them taking a turn, and I’ve described them.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: I prep a Hold Person spell. Ready for when they turn the corner.

MATTHEW: All right.

TALIESIN: Now!

MATT: At this point, you now see the halfling kind of darts around, whip out on the side as the elf turns around the corner, rapier out with her hand in front of her. What are you guys doing?

LIAM: I wanna grab the elf and slit her throat.

(laughing)

LAURA: I’m shooting at the halfling. Two arrows at the halfling.

MATTHEW: Okay.

MARISHA: I go for-- you said you were taking the elf?

LIAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: I’m gonna go for the elf and cast Hold Person.

MATT: Okay. Uh, we’ll say for the sake of you two, you both roll initiative.

MARISHA: 14. 14.

MATTHEW: Okay. You go ahead and make your attack first.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: This is a surprise round. They don’t expect to see you dart out of the side of the shadows. They’re facing downward into the alley.

LIAM: Okay, uh… I’m going to use Luck, my last luck of the day. Okay. Oh, this attack, uh, 16.

MATT: 16, then? Uh, yeah, that–

LAURA: No, that’s attack, that’s a 21.

LIAM: 21, thanks.

MATTHEW: Hits either way. Go for it.

LIAM: Uh… I don’t want to be heard! (laughing) 7, 9, 10, 20, 30, 66.

TRAVIS: Jesus.

MATT: You grab her, pull her back, draw the blade across the throat. With a slight muffling sound, she begins to bleed out. Still fighting and tensing against your body.

MARISHA: Seeing that, I’ll switch my spell to the halfling. (laughing) Not necessary on the elf anymore.

LIAM: Do I still have the bonus action left?

MATTHEW: I’d say so.

LIAM: Yeah, I wanna shove that in her chest.

MATTHEW: Okay.

LIAM: Uh, that is 27.

MATTHEW: That hits.

LIAM: And that is eight.

MATTHEW: Eight damage?

LIAM: Plus I'll add poison to it, DC 15.

MATT: With a seven, no.

LIAM: Okay, so she takes… An additional… 12 points of poison damage.

MATT: With that, the blade pulses as the poison filters into the bloodstream through the sternum where the blade pierced. As you quietly hold her in place, she goes still and goes, yeah, goes limp in your arms. You, however, at this point, turn and cast Hold Person on the halfling?

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: The halfling sees you jump out and just whisk her out of the alleyway, turns in that direction, and before it has a chance to react, as it pulls back with the whip to go in that direction, (noise) and just stays there, frozen in place.

LAURA: That’s when I release my arrows.

MATTHEW: Go for it.

MARISHA: Go, go.

MATTHEW: You have advantage on these shots because the entity currently cannot -

LAURA: Eight, no, 28 for the first hit.

MATT: 28 for the first hit? Are you going, like, right up against it, or is this from a distance?

LAURA: This is from a distance.

MATT: Okay. So that hits.

LAURA: Uh, 29 for the second hit.

MATT: Both of those hit.

LAURA: And I want to Hunter’s Mark, can I Hunter’s Mark? Too late? Can I Hunter’s Mark it?

MATT: I’ll say sure.

LAURA: All right.

TALIESIN: There was a countdown.

LAURA: 18… 24 for the first hit, no, 22 for the first hit.

MATTHEW: Okay.

LAURA: And… God, I can’t add. 18 for the second hit.

MATT: Okay. So, both, you know, just a beat of impact, the body tenses in place, and you see a bit of red begin to drip out of the corner of the mouth of the halfling. However, it’s still kind of eyes darting around wildly, trying to figure out what the hell is happening. Scanlan, Pike, anything?

ASHLEY: Can I run up and grab the whip out of her hand?

(laughing)

MATTHEW: His hand? Yes, you can.

ASHLEY: Oh, his hand. His hand, so sorry.

MATT: No, the female has been, by uh… Hard to see, halfling with that much mud. You go over and quickly wedge the whip out of the halfling’s hand, no issue. Alright, Scanlan, anything?

ASHLEY: That’s all I can do, right?

MATT: It’s pretty quick, it’s pretty easy, it would be like an action. What do you want to do?

ASHLEY: I’d like to use my mace.

MATT: Sure, I’ll allow it, because he’s not defending anything, it’s just like a bonus action. I say go for it. Advantage on the attack.

ASHLEY: OK, 16.

MATT: 16 hits.

ASHLEY: Nice. Alright, alright!

MATT: Because it is a melee against a currently paralyzed individual, it is considered a critical hit.

LAURA: Nice!

ASHLEY: 18.

MATT: So double the dice. And then add the bonus on top of it.

LIAM: 20 plus.

ASHLEY: 23.

MATT: 23, nice. So as you pull the whip out with one hand, you crack the mace right into the face of the halfling. To the point where you hit and you have to kind of like get the elbow lift to pull it free. (laughter) Face is kinda caving a little bit, Ninja Scroll style. And he’s kind of like twitching. Still conscious.

LAURA: No, that’s awful make it unconscious.

MATT: Not yet.

LAURA: We have to sit through that.

ASHLEY: Sorry.

MATT: Cannot make any of these saves for the life of it, so.

SAM: Can I attack?

MATT: You can now, yes.

SAM: I will use the Myth Carver.

TALIESIN: Oh, wow.

MARISHA: Oh my God.

TALIESIN: Has this happened before?

MARISHA: No, we just got this.

SAM: I don’t even know what, I think I’m going to need help.

TALIESIN: Okay, let me help you. This is why we’re here. Okay, roll an attack.

SAM: Okay.

MARISHA: You got this.

SAM: I don’t know how to–

TALIESIN: Use a die.

SAM: Okay, I’m gonna hold the sword, and I fumble with it, hold it up again, and then close my eyes and just kinda go like this.

MATT: Okay, so the attack gives you advantage, but the blindness gives you disadvantage, it cancels out, so just roll an attack.

TALIESIN: Plus, eight.

SAM: 12, plus eight?

MATT: So you get 20, that hits. Go ahead and roll damage. And it’s a critical hit.

TALIESIN: One d8, so it’s two d8 plus three.

TRAVIS: That’s the Myth Carver.

SAM: It’s one d8 plus three?

MATT: It’s one d6 sonic damage, which is also doubled.

SAM: Do I roll twice, or do I just– Not double this.

TALIESIN: You roll-

LAURA: Twice, you roll two d8.

SAM: Double, OK.

MATT: Roll once and then, roll d8 and d6, double that number, add your bonus.

TALIESIN:It’s just that easy.

SAM: Roll a d8 and a d6.

MATT: The sonic damage.

SAM: That’s a six. Okay, so that’s nine, I double that, 18.

TALIESIN: Plus three.

SAM: Plus three is 21.

MATT: Okay, 21 points of damage. As you fumble the blade and cover your eyes as you pull back the blade, the slight humming sound (hums), the blade actually kind of vibrates in place and as you thrust forward, it goes through like butter with a heated blade. You know, you think you missed, then you open and peek through your eyes and see that you went straight though his face.

(laughter)

GROUP: Oh shit.

MATT: Like you hit nothing.

TRAVIS: The face, the skull? Nothing?

SAM: I didn’t mean to, ah, this is…

MATT: You pull it out and it’s still kind of vibrating a little bit, there is no blood on the blade, the actual like, the sonic vibrations of the weapon managed to shake free any possibility of any of the gore sticking to the weapon.

LAURA: Oh, that’s sick.

MARISHA: That’s so bad ass.

LAURA: That’s pretty cool.

MATT: At which point the spell fades as the life force of this halfling no longer holds sway and the body just crumples into a pile.

MARISHA: All right, onward with our murdering spree, let’s go.

SAM: Wait, wait, are they going to know that their two people are gone?

TALIESIN: Eventually.

LAURA: Eventually.

TALIESIN: What other choices did we have?

LAURA: Can we loot the bodies?

SAM: Of course you say that.

LAURA: Before we move forward.

MATT: You can if you want to.

LIAM: I’ll check the elf.

MATT: It’ll take a while.

LAURA: I just want to make sure that there’s nothing super valuable just sitting on them.

MATT: Make an investigation check.

TALIESIN: I’m just gonna, I’m going to keep talking to them to make sure they know what’s up, so just talking in their ear, they’re still walking, walking.

ASHLEY: What’s going on Percy?

LAURA: 27.

MATT: 27, at a cursory glance, it’ll take you a couple minutes, which will put you guys a little behind Grog’s procession to do this, but you manage to find, on the two bodies, about 125 gold pieces, 2 relatively dirty sets of leather armor, one’s more of a hide actually, for the woman who had the rapier, it’s hide armor. And that’s it.

LAURA: All right.

SAM: How about on the thing I killed, anything?

LAURA: You have a whip.

SAM: Oh, they did both?

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: Can I keep the whip?

MATT: If you want to. Okay, you take the whip and wrap it up real fast and kind of just attach it inside of your belt.

SAM: Kinky.

MATT: Can I have everyone make another stealth check?

LIAM: Still Pass Without a Trace?

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: 22.

TALIESIN: 30.

MARISHA: 34.

MATT: No, Pass Without a Trace is gone, you used Hunter’s Mark.

MARISHA: Oh, then 24.

TALIESIN: 24.

SAM: Then 12.

LIAM: Oh it just burned you.

LAURA: Oh, it did, it burned.

LIAM: 29.

LAURA: 21.

ASHLEY: 11. Because the extra 10’s gone.

LAURA: I’m sorry!

ASHLEY: No, it’s all right.

MATT: All right, you guys move on a little bit further towards a T portion of the street, where you can now see there’s a cart in the center. And what looks to be a number of other Goliaths are currently pulling two individuals out of their homes and kind of starting to drag them back towards the top of the T intersection where you guys are passing from. As you get to that point, there’s a little bit of noise coming that way. You hear another clank and a shh! from behind you in an alley just around the way and the elf behind you has been walking quietly, stops and goes, “All right, something not right is going on at this moment.” He turns around. “You hold here Goliath.”

TRAVIS: No, I don’t think I will. But I tell you what, you make the choice. Walk me to Kevdak or go check out your little spook fest.

MATT: He looks over to the other companion, “Go ahead and gather those men, have them follow you into the alley.” Then the other individual walks towards the alley and starts talking to the other goliaths. They go ahead and take some of the people that they’re holding by the arms, lift them up over their shoulder, and you now have roughly six individuals, four of which are goliath, now joining up for a total of seven, and they’re all heading back towards the alley way--

TALIESIN: Hostages heading towards you just run, just run and hide.

MATT: --where the noise came from. As the elf who continues to walk forward with you is back.

TALIESIN: Just run and hide.

SAM: Do we run?

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we disappear. We disappear.

MARISHA: We hide.

MATT: Okay. You guys begin to vanish, make one more stealth check to see if you leave any tracks behind or any followable trace.

TALIESIN: I’m not with them.

ASHLEY: Do we still have Pass Without a -

LAURA: No, I’m sorry. Because I’m an asshole.

MATT: You good?

ASHLEY: Hmm?

(laughter)

MATT: Pike?

ASHLEY: I got a two.

LAURA: Oh no!

(laughter)

SAM: She’s the worst!

ASHLEY: I hate my armor! And I love it in battle.

MATT: There’s a set you never quite picked up from Gilmore.

ASHLEY: Fuck.

MATT: You had commissioned an armor that would be silent, but it never got picked up.

LAURA: Oh shit.

ASHLEY: What?

LIAM: Ages ago, yeah we commissioned.

MARISHA: Yeah, I was wondering what happened to that. I thought we had it already.

LIAM: It’s buried in rubble now.

LAURA: No, maybe he…

ASHLEY: I totally forgot about that.

SAM: Maybe when he was dying he took it with him. He’s got it all under his arm.

TALIESIN: Maybe he has a magic vault, it might be fun.

LAURA: That’s true, he might have a magic vault.

TALIESIN: I don’t know if that’s a real thing…

LAURA: He probably has a magic vault.

ASHLEY: I do not remember that at all.

TALIESIN: I just don’t remember that either, so.

LAURA: Dammit.

MATT: The thought hits you immediately, the memory of like, oh that’s right! As you tumble through a sequence of small boxes, your distraction caught you off guard, and you weren’t paying attention where you were walking, briefly before you just fall face first into kind of a mushy mud puddle. And kind of stand up and look.

TALIESIN: Scanlan, you want to do anything about this?

SAM: Of course I do. I’m going to run up to her and just hold her by the hand. Do they see us at this point?

MATT: They are right around the corner, you see shadows beginning to approach across the road.

LIAM: Scanlan, the mansion, open the mansion in a store.

LAURA: He can do whatever he wants, don’t tell him what to do.

SAM: Are they going to see us if they round the corner?

MATT: Yes. What are you going to do.

SAM: I hold her by both hands and I Dimension Door us to the rooftop.

MATT: You’ve used dimension door twice now today.

SAM: That’s the third.

MATT: That’s your third and final fourth level spell?

SAM: Yes, correct.

MATT: All righty.

LIAM: Open the door, do the top one, do the bottom lock.

LAURA: Shh.

TALIESIN: Ix-nay on the argue-jay!

MATT: As you guys are bickering…

LAURA: No!

(laughter)

MATT: Around the corner, the group steps into the alleyway as this little poof of purple energy and smoke quickly dissipates and they all spin looking to the way. They glance about, step in to begin to inspect. Spend a few moments, one of them goes up to where the barrels had fallen over, just kind of pokes, looks into the mud, can see some depressions in the mud. “There’s something following us, come on.” And they all begin to swarm into the alleyway, all seven of them. You guys, are you going, are you backing up further into the alley, are you trying, what are you doing?

LAURA: I’m gonna… I’m going to try to parkour up to the ceiling again, up to the rooftops.

MATT: Acrobatics.

LIAM: I’m just going to go backwards.

MATT: Go backwards?

LIAM: Away from them.

MATT: Okay, so heading backwards into the alley.

SAM: Can I see this happening?

MATT: No, you two are just on the roof, and you’re kind of like “Okay.” You can glance over and look on the side, if you want to, but this’ll be the next thing you see after they disperse.

TALIESIN: I’m just splitting my attention, trying to figure out what to deal with. MARISHA: I go air elemental form. And into a doorway, into a crack.

MATT: Okay. So elemental form, you’re now kind of this little cluster of wind, just underneath the doorway. As they all step in and look about–

LAURA: I 34'ed up to the–

MATT: 34'ed up? All right, and you backed around the way. They step in and begin to kind of split up a little bit. You come back around, and you can head back to the thoroughfare, and continue to follow or find them up on the roof. What are you going to do?

LIAM: I’m going to follow, so I can try to see Grog, but stay hidden.

MATT: So you’re going to head back onto the road and duck between alleyways on your own? Okay, so you can do that way, kind of essentially, tracking back around as they entered, and pass them as they’re spreading out into the alleyways. Most of you guys are up on the roof now. And Keyleth, you just kind of watch them as they move past and eventually just kind of (imitates wind), behind them. Where do you want to go?

MARISHA: : What?

MATT: What do you want to do?

MARISHA: Hiding.

(laughter)

MATT: They move past and all of you companions are currently gone, you’re by yourself hiding this big underneath a doorway in your elemental form, what do you want to do?

MARISHA: They’re gone though?

MATT: They’ve moved past you, yeah, they did not notice.

SAM: We’ve moved on, Keyleth.

MARISHA: Then I try and find them, still in my form, but misting about.

MATT: Okay, so (imitates wind), this little burst of wind that comes up to the rooftop, and as you get up there, you can see a couple roofs over, a couple of dots, the rest of your companions that are slowing making their way along the road.

MARISHA: Okay, I follow them.

MATT: Okay, you guys make your way.

TRAVIS: You lot are so funny. You know, I think I saw something run and hide in that pile of horse shit over there, if you want to check it out, too.

(laughter)

MATT: Silence, no response.

MARISHA: Since I’m already elemental form, I’m going to go ahead and start parting off from the rest of the crowd, I’m going to flake around to the other side, I’m going to start flanking.

MATT: Okay, so you’ve got to the other side now. The bells have now fully subsided, all the various warning bells that would go off every few minutes, just kind of keeping the state of awareness going, have begun to just dissipate and stop. The elf behind you is kind of glancing back and forth over his shoulder, but still keeps a blade forward. You go past that T intersection, continuing onward into the open central square on the north portion of the road. There’s the main central road that you guys have been walking and it opens up into brick and cobblestone, upward with a slight square road interfacing the center. A series of shops and tents and on the left side, you recall is where Noja’s shop once was, Abjurist Noja who had saved you at the First Winter’s Veil. Not that you guys see this at the moment, but you see this glancing off to the side. The door’s kind of half open, it looks like a window’s broken, and the inside has probably been ransacked as well. And as you step in you can see that there are a number of tents that are half fallen over, carts that are tipped over with fruit and vegetables that have scattered across the floor and they’ve just been left there to rot. There are barrels containing, looks like rain water that has gathered over time and section after section of these wedged barricades of pieces of wood that have been jammed into piles with giant spikes and pole arms that have been jammed in there as a defensive place and just to be an ominous position for anyone who attempts to walk into this vicinity. And you see, about every five or six of these, there is a head adorning it, that has been just kind of wedged on, pushed as a warning.

TRAVIS: Do I recognize any of those heads?

MATT: Make a perception check.

LAURA: Oh God.

LIAM: I don’t want to know the answer.

SAM: Well, I recognized a couple earlier.

MARISHA: Yeah, you did, I don’t think you’ve told us yet.

TRAVIS: Seven.

MATT: Yeah, you glance around a little bit, nothing catches your eye, you’re too focused on the goal at hand as you step through each barricade. As you go through the first set, already you can see the cluster of goliaths and as well as individuals that step forward and are like, “Hey, who are you bringing here?” And the elf behind you says, “Apparently a blood relative of Kevdak’s. Is this true?” And a few of the Goliaths step forward and say, “Oh, I doubt that.” And the one on the other side says, “Blood relative, the only one is up inside.” He steps forward and you see the next Goliath that you recognize, this is one of the older seers, who has one eye that is completely clouded over white and is this kind of swollen, pus filled socket, that has been kind of perpetually infected over time.

LAURA: Ew.

MATT: He steps forward with this kind of… thick kind of a, almost like a moss-like crust, that has gathered under his neck and he’s called Greenbeard because of this weird, whatever infection or ailment he had caused this kind of moss-type material, to grow across his neck and chest area. And he comes forward, using his walking stick, this kind of gnarled branch that he uses and, “Is it really you, Strongjaw?”

TRAVIS: I see your eye still serves you well.

MATT: “You know when Zanror told us that he came across you up north, we beat the shit out of him for being a liar.”

TRAVIS: You should have beat the shit out of him for being a coward. He begged me to let him go.

MATT: “Really? Well, seems we know at least who’s caused all the commotion recently. Dead man walking through town by himself into the belly of the beast. So, men, take his head.” He steps back as about seven other Goliaths from up behind and two longbow individuals in the far end go ahead and draw arrows and begin to notch them back.

TALIESIN: I take a bead.

TRAVIS: Well, it would be such a shame. It seems all of you would be missing out on the greatest show of your life. You see, in this bag, I carry the very thing that will topple the mighty Kevdak. You know what I remember? I remember a herd that nations used to part for, I remember a herd that towns used to quake and run from, I remember a herd that was so proud and dangerous, they would never hole up in a shit-stick city like this. But what do I see when I come here? Kevdak prancing up in a place like this and what, bending the knee to a dragon? How far you have fallen. Now, if you have any honor in you at all, you’ll take me to Kevdak and you will see what I have for him. And then maybe, just maybe, you can call yourselves warriors again instead of piss pot squatters.

MATT: There’s a moment of pause, as all the Goliaths who are approaching have stopped in their tracks. You can see their neck muscles tensing as they’re kind of ringing their fingers across the handles of their various weapons. At this point, Greenbeard takes a moment and (laughs evilly) “You sound like your cousin, Zanror. The two of you enjoy a night drinkin’ in the hole. But sure, you want to go ahead and talk to the big man. Let’s see you say that to his face before he crushes it. Call him out. Thunder Lord, you’ve a visitor!”

MARISHA: “Thunder Lord”?

MATT: At which point all the Goliaths step back, and some of them turn their blades or weapons around and - start slamming them on the ground in a rhythmic tone. (group groans) Over and over again, and some of them start going into slow chants (imitates chanting). And as this happens louder and louder, the clattering echos through the center of this market place, this now desolate space. Some of them that were clutching people just kind of throw them to the side and some of the peasants begin like scramble up against a wall, not knowing where to go. Or seemingly knowing that if they were to try to flee, it would be the very end of their existence and are just frozen in fear. As this is happening, you see at the Margrave’s home, the multi-tiered homestead, this beautiful mansion, which is now smeared with gore, this dried dark brown and brittle, the flickering glow of interior candlelight catches your attention, until across the top floor, you see a balcony that looks over the entirety of this open area. And there the dark form of Kevdak steps out, a towering Goliath in his own right. As he comes forward, puts his hands on the railing, the rhythmic slamming of the weapons growing loud, like this cacophonous rhythm. His fingers slowly tense, and the wood splinters in his grasp as you can see before you, indeed, the Titanstone Gauntlets themselves almost cartoonish in size, even against his large frame. He looks down with his gleaming red eyes, smooth bald head, no tattoo adorning it, but most of his entire body nearly black with scrawlings of ink for every single life he’s taken as he’s led this herd. He looks down into the center of this area, down to you, with a joyous smile, almost, and says, “Grog Strongjaw. I would have never expected this, not in a very, very long time. I’ve got to say, I’ve got to give credit to my boy for not being quite the fable maker that I thought he was, trying to appease me with the ideas of finishing a threat that was apparently left hanging. So, you come here, castaway of the Herd of Storms. You have my attention. Now what words do you bring my ears, before I tear them from your skull, boy?”

TRAVIS: Hello, uncle. The piece of shit you wiped off your boot has come home. When last we saw each other, you saw it fitting to beat down a mere child. I remember another child that got a beating. Seems like he came from your nut sack. (laughter) And my, what an easy task that was.

MATT: “Sometimes the easiest are the most enjoyable. If you let them string out for a long, long time.”

TRAVIS: Well, a regular chip off the old block. If he’s anything like his father, that is. So I’ll tell you why I’ve come back.

MATT: “Please, do.”

TRAVIS: See, I’ve grown, I’ve learned. I’ve also watched as dragons took the mighty Kevdak, wielder of the Titanstone Knuckles, and made him bend the knee. I was wondering, do you also squat when you piss now?

MATT: There are a few chuckles, that are immediately silenced at the realization. Kevdak, seemingly un-flinched by this, he puts one hand on the railing and leaps over it, (imitates booming) landing on the stone platform that makes the roof of the initial walkway and foyer of this mansion. He steps out to the edge of it and crosses his arms, and goes, “See, that’s your folly Grog, as it was your father’s. You’re shortsighted. Survival isn’t just chewing meat you find and killing what gets in your way. If you pick a fight that you can’t win, history won’t remember a blood smear on anyone’s boot. The dragon was a stage. I’ve not bent the knee like you think I have, I’ve merely let it co-exist for the time being. But let’s just say that dragon’s days are numbered. But it’s a shame that you won’t be around to see.

TRAVIS: Oh, fancy words for what I hear as surrender. But that’s all right, I’ve always believed the world is what we make of it, and you’ve shown me exactly who you are. You’ve shown this herd exactly who you are and what they can expect: to live a nice domesticated life, where the booty runs dry, where the women are scarce, where I’m sure there are plans this very minute to unseat you from your high horse. But I’ve come to do them a favor, they’re not going to get that chance. You and me. I challenge you to single combat for the pride of this herd.

(applause)

MATT: At this moment, there is a long silence, as just a breeze kind of (imitates wind) finds it’s way through the center of this town. Kevdak waits, motionless, at the top of the mansion precipice. Everyone else looks up to him, from you, their faces aghast at what just transpired and staring up to him atop the mansion. He looks down, one side of his mouth curls into a wicked smirk. He puts his hand up like this, and you see as the rows of archers that were along the roof tops of nearby buildings, lessen their grip on the bow and put the arrows away. He crosses his arms again. “We reserve the right of single combat to members of the Herd of Storms. You haven’t been a number within our midst for years, since you decided to lie there and bleed like a goat. But, I can’t say I’m not amused by your gall. So, for the purposes of this bout, let it be known that Grog Strongjaw is a temporary member of the herd. But the moment his lifeless corpse hits the stone, he will be stripped of any honor and fed to the wolves.” (growls) And he leaps off and lands cracking the stone beneath his feet. As he stands again, “Assemble the ring!” And you watch as all of the goliaths start grabbing and moving the barricades, scooting them into a circular pattern around the center of this area. Go ahead and fetch the town square if you could.

LAURA: Oh jeez.

GROUP: Fetch the town square, if you please.

(laughter)

LAURA: Oh my God.

SAM: Oh, look.

TALIESIN: You really did it, you son of a bitch. You weren’t kidding.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Three days ago, we had dinner and he left the sushi bar with a big handful of toothpicks going, “I have plans for these.”

(laughter)

LAURA: That’s hilarious.

MARISHA: That’s true. I was like, did you steal toothpicks? He did.

MATT: All righty, so…

LAURA and SAM: Oh my God.

SAM: It’s beautiful and it’s all made out of cake.

(laughter)

LIAM: I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.

TALIESIN: Fuck that house, look at that house. Why don't we live there?

LAURA: The spikes are facing inward?

MATT: Yes, they are.

LIAM: Oh, it’s so tight.

LIAM and LAURA: Tight, tight, tight, tight, tight, tight.

SAM: Are we around, can we see any of this?

MATT: You guys are watching this happen.

MARISHA: Yeah, where are we? We’re flanking, slowly but surely.

LAURA: Stealthily.

TALIESIN: I’m finding perch on a rooftop, so that I can deal with this shit.

MARISHA: I’m a puff of clouds.

SAM: I’m holding Pike’s hand.

(laughter)

SAM: For comfort, my comfort.

LAURA: I’m feel guilty for getting in a fight with my brother, right before I got up on the rooftop.

TALIESIN: This is a great idea.

SAM: This is the part where Matt plays dolls.

MATT: Yep, pretty much.

(laughter)

MATT: All right, so where are you guys right now? You’re watching this happen from a distant rooftop, right at the edge.

TALIESIN: Is it possible to move the camera to get the house?

MARISHA: I was flanking.

MATT: Right, so you are currently in elemental form.

MARISHA: Can I attempt to actually get on the roof?

MATT: On the roof…

MARISHA: Can I get on this balcony area?

MATT: Over there? If you want to, it’s going to be…

MARISHA: In mist form?

MATT: This isn’t a mist form, this is your air elemental form.

MARISHA: Or yeah, air elemental form. But I can move through things.

MATT: You can, so you can…

MARISHA: Super, super, super thin.

MATT: Right, so you want to just glide into like, part of the stonework over here, or…

MARISHA: Right, yeah.

MATT: All righty. So at this time, as everyone assembles all the spikes inward in a circle position, and you stand in place, Kevdak walks into the center of the ring, he takes the gauntlets, puts a hand out, and one of the Goliaths comes up and takes a weapon that you haven’t seen in a while, this dark red rust-colored ax is placed into his one hand, as the gauntlet grips around it, taking the Blood Ax in his hand, he closes his other fist and slams them together and as he slams them together with a sound of metal, his form warps and grows. And what was once already Kevdak, who held a good four to five inches on your height, swells to about 12 feet tall.

MARISHA: Excuse me?

LAURA: Oh shit.

SAM: Wait, Kevdak just grew?

ALL: Yes.

LAURA: Kevdak just grew.

SAM: Oh my God.

MARISHA: Holy shit.

ASHLEY: I just peed.

LIAM: Ashley or Pike?

MATT: So, whereabouts are you guys at this moment? Just give me some inclination. Keyleth is over there, keeping relatively hidden, as an air elemental. I need you to make a stealth check as part of that, to see if you’re noticed.

MARISHA: Natural 20.

GROUP: Yes!

MATT: That I like.

TALIESIN: Figure out where you’re hiding.

ASHLEY: Are we coming from behind there or from this side?

MATT: This, you guys would be coming from this direction here.

TALIESIN: I’ll take the 3 o'clock, if the house is 12, I’ll take the 3 o'clock.

MATT: So you’ll be kind of up in this–

TALIESIN: Over there.

MATT: Over here? Okay, so we’ll say Percy is up on the roof area.

TALIESIN: 6 o'clock, 9 o'clock, 12 o'clock.

MATT: Okay, I need you to go ahead and roll stealth check as well, as you move up there, make sure you’re not seen. Where are the rest of you?

TALIESIN: Natural 20.

(cheering)

LAURA: Is there a roof in this area?

MATT: There is. I’m going to put this off to the side there, if you’d like to maneuver in this area as well. For those who want to be on this side. Who wants to be up there with Vex?

ASHLEY: Should we dimension door up there?

SAM: Well, we’ve been…

MATT: You guys have been following to get to this area.

SAM: We’ve been following wherever.

MATT: You guys want to be up there with Vex?

SAM: We probably went up with Vex, probably, yeah. We don’t know what we’re doing.

MATT: Okay. Vax, where are you?

LIAM: I guess I’m maybe off by that fountain in the corner of your map.

MATT: Over there? This is an open area over here.

LIAM: That’s all open?

MATT: This is all open, this is the center of the town square.

LIAM: Then I would be at the bottom of the building that Vex is in.

MATT: Okay, so you’re kind of close down, like kind of looking through the window out into the main thoroughfare. Okay, good to know. So, Grog. With this, I want you to roll initiative.

MARISHA: Oh my God.

LAURA: Can I take Trinket out of the -

MATT: If you’d like to, yeah, do you want to? Your call.

SAM: Trinket’s going to make some noise.

MATT: Initiative?

TRAVIS: 17.

MATT: 17. As you guys begin this fray… No Trinket, yes Trinket, what are you doing?

LAURA: Trinket is staying in the necklace.

MATT: All right. You, as Kevdak takes on a large form, the blood ax swelling with his size, gets into a combat position and he says, “Show me what you’ve learned, Strongjaw.” You’re going first, you beat him on initiative. Go for it.

LAURA: Jesus.

TRAVIS: I would like to rage the rage of my rage-y life. (laughter) And I would like to use intimidating presence on Kevdak.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: That’s a risk.

(laughter)

MATT: All right, so that’s your action on that. So what’s the DC on that one?

TRAVIS: 18.

MATT: And what’s the save?

TRAVIS: Oh, 17 is the wisdom saving throw.

MATT: For that one, do you remember if that one is a–

TRAVIS: It says within 30 feet, frightened until end of next turn, wisdom saving throw.

MATT: Yeah, okay. So as you glare, how do you go about this glare, what do you do to intimidate him?

TRAVIS: I go into a rage. And with my flaming war hammer, I grab the end of the hammer and let it cook my flesh for a minute and then I smack myself on the chest and rip out the biggest bellow I have.

MATT: As you do, Kevdak goes to take a step forward, takes the single step, hesitates, seems to just hold his ground. Eyeing you down and seemingly not expecting this ferocity. All righty, that’s your action and your bonus. Are you going to move, or are you going to stay where you are?

TRAVIS: There are no openings in the ring, right?

MATT: Nope.

SAM: You had inspiration, by the way, would that have helped at all?

MATT: There are side openings, like areas here, where you could step out, but you get the sense that, as people are gathering around, they would be plugging elements of this exit, to prevent you from… closing the gap.

TRAVIS: With my bonus action I yell “Coward!” And that’s it.

MATT: Okay. Technically the rage is the bonus action, but you can shout that for free.

TRAVIS: Yeah, that’s fine.

MATT: All right, so for Kevdak’s turn, Kevdak kind of realizing that he can’t, he’s not able to really move closer at this moment, kind of steps to the side here, guarding, kind of waiting…

LIAM: His version of fear was not digging in.

MATT: Yeah, he’s going to go ahead and take a bonus action to go into his own rage.

TRAVIS: I just had to try and make it work at least once.

SAM: It worked.

TRAVIS: And it did. Hey man, at least I can say I didn’t die without it working once.

LAURA: Don’t say that!

ASHLEY: You’re not going to die, Grog.

MATT: So Kevdak goes into his own rage. Aas Kevdak goes into a rage, screaming out. (growls) The ground shakes and little stones and rocks scatter across the stonework from the vibration of it. And you see some of those tattoos, the black ink that goes across his chest, you see what looks like a bear that is hidden within the tattoo, that flares up with a flash of dark, deep red crimson energy and then fades back into the chest.

LAURA: What?

TALIESIN: 1984 with it.

MATT: You’re up Grog.

TRAVIS: Raging. I’ll go into a frenzied rage and I charge headlong into Kevdak with my firebrand war hammer.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: Actually, he backed up against the ring, right?

(group excitedly exclaims)

MATT: He’s backed up against the edge of one of the openings, but if you want to go from here…

TRAVIS: But there’s some point-ies behind him right?

MATT: At one angle, yeah.

TRAVIS: I’d like to drive my head right into his chest with my-- Can I move into him hard, see if I can push him back against one of the spikes?

MATT: I’ll say sure.

TRAVIS: I still have, if I’m frenzy-ing, would I still have two attacks after that?

MATT: That would be your action, to do that, so you would have your bonus action of you wanted to.

TRAVIS: I’ll just run up to him and hit him three times.

MATT: Okay, go for it.

TRAVIS: Yeah, the first two are just normal. I’ll just roll these first. 27.

MATT: That hits.

TRAVIS: 24.

MATT: Hits.

TRAVIS: 16.

MATT: Misses.

ASHLEY: War God’s blessing?

MATT: What’s the range on that?

MARISHA: And inspiration.

LAURA: Oh and you have inspiration, that’s right.

TALIESIN: Yeah, but this may not be the moment though.

SAM: I’ve got more.

TALIESIN: It’s early.

ASHLEY: Where the fuck is my thing? Oh, it’s right in front of me.

MATT: Unfortunately inspiration fades in ten minutes.

ASHLEY: 30 feet, so…

MATT: 30 feet, yeah, he’s too far away for War God’s Blessing. So the first two strikes, go ahead and roll for damage.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: But they do hit.

TRAVIS: Where the fuck is it? Oh, there it is. 10, 15, 23, 23, oh 23 plus… Five, so 28 with the fire damage on the first one. And the second one… 17.

MATT: 17, okay. As you slam, whack, whack, with the flaming war hammer, twice into the oversized Kevdak’s chest, each hit hits, but Kevdak is just barely pushed back by each and the damage, even the fire damage, seems to be taken down by his raging capabilities. The impacts aren’t doing as much damage as you hoped they would.

SAM: Dammit.

MATT: But I believe that ends your turn, unless you want to move?

TRAVIS: Nope, no moving.

MATT: All right. Kevdak’s turn. Kevdak’s going to go ahead and strafe around this way. And his going to go ahead and reckless attack on you, so that’s an advantage on each strike. Is going to take both of these as weapon master. That is a 28 to hit, sorry minus five, 23.

TRAVIS: Hits.

MATT: Second one. 28 to hit again, with the minus five.

TRAVIS: Misses, I mean hits, sorry.

MATT: All right, you suffer...let’s see… Less than that… As both of the ax swings come through you, you suffer a total of 54 points of slashing damage.

TRAVIS: Reduced?

MATT: Reduced by half, so that brings it to 27. Plus an additional ten points of necrotic damage that you do not reduce.

LAURA: While all the attention is focused on them, can I stealth down to the ground for a second?

MATT: Make a stealth check. How are you getting down? Are you climbing down via acrobatics? So make a stealth and acrobatics check.

LAURA: 29 for stealth. And 25 for acrobatics.

MATT: Okay. You manage to make it to the ground. Kind of jumping off the side, parkouring down, grabbing the next ledge, leaping down. That’s your turn. Okay, anybody else doing anything? Until we come back in the next round?

SAM: I mean…

MARISHA: Do we do anything right now?

TALIESIN: Not until he says so.

LAURA: I just want to duck, can I just duck in the building at least? Is that part of the stealth?

MATT: Sure, you come to the door and the door itself is not locked, you kind of just push on the side of the door. Everyone’s attention is so focused on the center. All right. So that brings it to the top of the round, Grog, you’re up.

TRAVIS: Feeling the impact of those hits, and remembering our first encounter, I drop the firebrand war hammer, I rush Kevdak, and I want to try and rip away the blood ax.

MARISHA: Oh.

MATT: Okay. You rush up and drop the hammer. Grab and you’re face to face, it’s right at your feet, you reach up and grab, with your fingers just barely wrapped around this ax’s shaft right now, at the size that it’s swollen, and you pull against him, I want you to go ahead and make a strength check.

TRAVIS: Which I get advantage on.

MATT: Yeah, versus his strength, which he gets advantage on.

TRAVIS: 17.

MATT: Natural 20.

LAURA: Oh, come on!

MATT: As you pull, Kevdak actually lifts you up off the ground, holding the ax up to his face and just goes, “Like father, like son.” And shakes you off, well doesn’t even shake you off, just butts you off of the ax and you skid to the ground. Take one point of bludgeoning damage, no big deal. Land on the ground, you don’t fall prone, but you’re there and can probably grab your war hammer and pick it back up if you want to.

TRAVIS: Yep, I’ll do that.

TALIESIN: Oh my God, oh my God.

MATT: That ends your turn. Now Kevdak, who’s kind of laughing to himself. (laughs evilly)

MARISHA: Oh, he’s consulting the book.

TALIESIN: I hate when he does that.

MATT: Why, what could that possibly mean?

LIAM: He’s probably looking up the price of a mace.

MARISHA: Totally. What’s an adventurer’s kit run for?

SAM: Who did this illustration again? Oh yeah, I remember.

MATT: Why don’t you make an athletics check.

TALIESIN: Does he get advantage on that?

MATT: Yes, you do, because of the rage.

TRAVIS: 19.

MATT: 19, well, 22. He puts the ax to one hand, reaches down with his large mitt, grabs you and lifts you up and pushes you onto one of the spears behind you. You can feel it actually pierce out the front of your chest. (group groans) About six inches. Your feet are still on the ground, and you can feel yourself there, but there is an element of being pinned there. You take 12 points of piercing damage, reduced to six. This is nothing to a barbarian, simple piercing, whatever. However you are technically considered, this would be grappled, you’re unable to move until you manage to break this. You can still attack from this position if you wanted to, but you have to be able to try and spend an action to get free. So that’s going to be the one attack, and then as your pinned, he’s going to come up with the blood ax and swing down. That’s going to be a 23 against you.

TRAVIS: That hits.

MATT: Blood ax comes down and slams right into the front of your chest, the sternum area, even with the weight of it, you bring your hands up and grab the edge of it and manage to stop some of the force, but it still digs into the front of your chest. You take 19 points of slashing damage, reduced to 9.

LAURA: I release Trinket inside the house that I’m in.

MATT: Plus an additional six necrotic that does not get reduced.

TRAVIS: So 9 and then six, so 15.

MATT: What are you doing?

LAURA: I release Trinket, quietly, inside the house. And tell him to keep quiet. Don’t follow me.

MATT: Okay. Anyone else do anything else?

TALIESIN: No, I’m just trying to– I’m trying to keep us aware of everything as possible.

SAM: Pike an I are going to just inch forward on the rooftop, to get just a little closer.

MARISH: Yeah, can I do the same in my elemental form? Like, can I just mist kind of down around kind of right behind this asshole? What’s up, I’m a spooky mist.

ASHLEY: Would it take some time to get like behind that fountain?

LIAM: That’s in the open, I asked about that first.

TALIESIN: This is one quarter of the square.

MATT: All right. Grog, it’s your turn.

TRAVIS: You said I can attack from having a pole shoved through my shoulder?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Would that be at disadvantage?

MATT: No, not at this distance. You just, you’re grappled, so you can’t move. You’re essentially stuck there until you use an action to get off of it, otherwise you can’t go anywhere.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I got to get off of it. I’m going to get off of it.

MATT: Okay, so using an action to break free.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: Make an athletics check, with advantage because you’re raging.

TRAVIS: 23.

MATT: 23? There’s not a lot of ground to pull yourself off of the weight, so instead, with your feet on the ground, you reach forward and grab the front of his blood ax again and pull forward. And as you do, you feel the back of this wooden spear, snap off and it’s still just embedded in your chest, poking out the front, but you are now free. You still have your bonus action.

TRAVIS: I would like to use great weapon master and I have advantage on this because he used reckless.

MATT: Yep.

TRAVIS: And I’ll use his inspiration.

LAURA: If you need it.

MATT: You don't have inspiration. It faded, it only lasts for ten minutes.

TRAVIS: 23.

MATT: That hits, go ahead and roll damage.

TRAVIS: 19. No, 29. Sorry.

MATT: 29 with the plus ten, right? Okay, that brings it to 14 damage, reduced by his rage effect as well. As the hammer slams once again into his abdomen, you can see it leaving a char mark and actually kind of obscuring one of the tattoos. “Stupid boy.” You can move around him if you wanted to, you still have a movement.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I’ll move, I would like to move to his flank, away from the nearest pointy thing.

MATT: Okay, so you shift around that way? Okay, with his turn now, he spins around to face you. He’s going to go ahead and attempt his first attack on you, as a disarming attack. With advantage on that because, just going with this attack every round. That’s going to be a 30.

TRAVIS: Yeah, that’ll hit.

(laughter)

MATT: Okay. Not Great Weapon Master. But it’s 30, so it’s going to do an additional superiority die of damage on top of this.

TALIESIN: Oh my god.

MATT: So you take, all right. 17 points of slashing damage.

TRAVIS: Reduced to nine?

MATT: Eight plus two necrotic, so 10 total. And I need you to go ahead and make a strength saving throw.

TALIESIN: Oh no, no advantage.

MATT: With rage is it strength ability checks and saving throws?

TRAVIS: Advantage on strength check and strength saving throws.

MATT: So yeah, so advantage on this.

TRAVIS: 13.

MATT: 13.

TRAVIS: No, no, no 16.

MATT: 16, okay. So as he slams into your side, you pull up your flaming war hammer to guard the blow, it takes some of it, but then he hooks the bottom of the ax underneath the head and actually flings it out of your hand and you lose the grip on the war hammer, which then clatters to the ground at your feet. He’s then going to turn around. And going to go ahead and do a pushing attack. With the superiority die. That is going to be, this is going to be, with Great Weapon Master, that brings it to a 21.

TRAVIS: That’s my AC.

MATT: All righty. So you take from the actual blow, 21 points of slashing damage, reduced to ten. And five necrotic.

TRAVIS: I’m going to use my Stone’s Endurance.

MATT: Go for it.

LAURA: What’s Stone’s Endurance?

TRAVIS: It’s just a d12, which is a 12, plus my constitution, so that’s 17.

MATT: So as the blow comes, you just take it right to the center of the chest. As it hits, it barely cuts in before you go ahead and grab and deflect it with your hand, doing no damage to you whatsoever. However the impact of it though– make a strength saving throw with advantage again.

TRAVIS: 18.

MATT: 18, however the sheer force of trying to deflect it, does push you back 15 feet, right on the edge there, we’ll say you’re right there, that’s fine. And you stop right at the edge of another, edge of the spikes and there are two goliaths that are there with their weapons out, just forcing you back into the ring, if you decide to back up any further. And with that, Kevdak’s going to go ahead and move forward and push you into that corner. That’s going to end his turn. You’re up.

TRAVIS: I’m going to look at Kevdak and drop my arms to my side.

MATT: It’s already on your side actually. He disarmed you.

TRAVIS: No, not my arms.

MATT: Oh, your arms, okay.

TRAVIS: Straight down. And I’m going to say, “Clearly I’ve been a fool. You are truly a foe to be reckoned with.” And I will slowly drop to my knees.

SAM: (gasps) (quietly) No, no, Grog.

TRAVIS: And I will shout out: “Vox Machina! Fuck shit up!”

(cheering)

MATT: And we’re going to go ahead and end it there this week. (loud exclamations) It’s 11 o'clock guys. (groaning) It’s 11 o'clock, you guys!

MARISHA: And we started late.

MATT: I know, I know.

MARISHA: Curse you technical difficulties.

(laughter)

SAM and TALIESIN: Wow.

LAURA: We need to remember where we are, you guys.

TALIESIN: We’ll take a photograph, that’s what iPhones are for.

SAM: No, that's not possible.

MATT: No, we’re taking photos.

MARISHA: I don’t think I can forget.

MATT: I’m leaving this here for next week. So we can have this up and ready for us to jump back in.

LAURA: Oh my God-duh!

MARISHA: Fuck shit up!

LIAM: That’s so unsatisfying!

(groaning)

ASHLEY: I want to go right now.

MATT: If you guys want to keep going, we can go to midnight on, it’s up to you. But it’s a Thursday night.

ASHLEY: I know.

LAURA: Let’s wait, let’s wait.

ASHLEY: What’s the general consensus say?

MARISHA: I have to shoot tomorrow.

MATT: The general consensus is it’s 11 PM and we’re keeping the crew here as well.

SAM: Let’s call it.

MATT: And we had a very long Critmas and everything the week before, so let’s go ahead and we’ll call it tonight. We’ll pick up right at this ridiculous moment next week.

TALIESIN: Tune in next week.

MARISHA: It’s like the battle of blue balls.

TALIESIN: Goliath balls are blue.

MARISHA: Goliath balls are so blue.

LAURA: Dude.

TRAVIS: I was not expecting that.

LAURA: He was so much more powerful than what…

TRAVIS: Yeah, I was not expecting that.

MARISHA: He’s so big.

SAM: I think you can take him.

TALIESIN: We’ll figure it out.

TRAVIS: I think it’s going well.

SAM: I think you can take him.

TRAVIS: I think we’ve got him right where I want him.

MARISHA: Just five more minutes, five more minutes.

MATT: Yeah, that’s rough. Where are you at hit points wise?

TRAVIS: 133.

SAM: You’re fine, you could go for another six rounds!

MARISHA: You’re at 133 out of your total?

TRAVIS: 201.

(groaning)

SAM: He’s fine, he’s fine.

TRAVIS: I’m doing nothing to him.

TALIESIN: That’s true, you haven’t done a thing.

ASHLEY: Has he done any damage to him at all?

SAM: Yeah, a little.

MATT: Yeah, Grog’s done 34 points of damage.

LAURA: Wow, out of like 500 hit points probably.

MATT: There’s different paths to a barbarian, there’s the frenzy path, which is all about damage, there’s the totem path, which totem of the bear means you're half damage for everything except psychic damage.

LAURA: Grog, quick, be psychic.

(laughter)

MATT: Good luck with that guys. But yeah, this is where that totem really shines.

LIAM: If I steal your Kevdak mini, he can’t be killed.

SAM: That’s true.

MATT: I’ve got four. (laughter) Not really.

MARISHA: Where does the other totem shine? In damage dealing, probably?

MATT: Frenzy’s all about damage and that’s what Grog’s playing. Anyway guys, we’ll pick this up next week at whatever this is about to be, and I have no idea what this is about to be.

TALIESIN: With cameras and stuff though, we’ll have cameras and stuff here.

MATT: Yeah, hopefully functional cameras.

MARISHA: Yeah, we’ll have a video card next week. We may already have one thanks to Frye’s Electronics.

MATT: The fickleness of technology and the wondrous hard work of our crew. Make this still happen guys.

MARISHA: Once again, as I don’t know who it was that pointed it out, but we went 50 episodes without any huge...

MATT: Hardware failures, yeah.

MARISHA: Hardware failures.

LAURA: So that’s funny.

MARISHA: Episode 51 just ate it.

MATT: Thank you guys for enduring our spree of technical issues, and our evening of one cuts, I hope it wasn’t too distracting. Please do come back next week, because this shit’s going to be crazy. (laughter) You’re not going to want to miss this. So yeah, we’ll see you guys next week, and… Is it Thursday yet? Have a good night.