Transcript:An Open Window

List of Transcripts

Pre-Show
MATT: Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role. Where us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

ALL:  We play Dungeons & Dragons!

MATT: If you haven't noticed, we are in our Halloween episode. So yes, before we jump into our announcements, let's go ahead and introduce everyone's fantastic Halloween attire. Let's begin, to my left over here, we have Travis Willingham. Dressed as...

TRAVIS: (laughs) Hi, Matt!

MATT: Hey buddy. (laughs)

TRAVIS: (Cajun accent) Yeah, I'm Orly. Navigator of the Balleater. Rest in peace. Oh wait, it's over here. (laughter) I got a wicked sleeve and a Cajun tattoo. No, accent. (laughs)

LAURA: Wow.

TALIESIN: Wow.

TRAVIS: It's really hot in this mask, guys! It's covered in spray paint.

MATT: Really fresh spray paint.

TALIESIN: What have you got down there? What is that red thing? That red--

TRAVIS: Oh, this? Oh, well, he plays the bagpipes. (bagpipes squealing) (laughter)

MATT: Holy shit! (laughs)

LIAM: You don't want to see that leaning over your bed in the middle of the night.

MATT: We should not have started with you. It's all downhill from here.

SAM: Cowabunga!

MATT: Travis, well done on Orly.

LAURA: Wow.

ASHLEY: Oh, fantastic.

MATT: Now, Laura. Looking fabulous as...

LAURA: I'm my dad. (laughter) I'm The Gentleman. That's all I got, I'm blue. I got a wineglass. (laughter) I... I don't know, that's all I got. I would've sprayed water on myself, but the paint would've come off, so... This is all I got.

MATT: Good call. Good call.

SAM: You look super hot.

MATT: Awesome. You look great, Laura.

TRAVIS: The contouring, the contouring!

MARISHA: So good.

MATT: Liam, Liam O'Brien.

LIAM: I am dressed as Astrid, Astrid Beck. Star pupil of the Soltryce Academy. I received a lot of great makeup tips from Marisha and Laura over the past couple of days. Thank you, ladies.

MARISHA: Looks fabulous.

LIAM: I feel beautiful, minus the terrible burns.

TRAVIS: Let's see those forearms.

MARISHA: Show off those tattoos.

LAURA: Yeah! Ooh!

SAM: Nice.

LIAM: This is made of toilet paper.

LAURA: Is it really?

MATT: Delightful.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: That's impressive.

LIAM: And latex.

MATT: Yeah, a little liquid latex. It's classic. You look great, man.

LIAM: Thank you.

MATT: Sam.

SAM: I am Kiri! Yes, I am very sweet! (laughter) I cannot see!

MATT: Where's your knife?

SAM: Oh! (laughs) Sorry. Ah! (laughter) I've killed people! Welcome to the Mighty Nein!

TRAVIS: Oh my god! Oh my god.

MATT: Perfect, thank you, Sam.

SAM: Go fuck yourself! (laughter)

MATT: There you have it. All righty, Ashley.

ASHLEY: I'm Henry Crabgrass. (laughter) Always ask for consent!

MATT: I love it, it's so good. (as Henry) Well, I appreciate that, it's a great choice for a Halloween costume, well done. Taliesin.

TALIESIN: I am Archivist Zeenoth from Zadash. Got my book and my scowl. Quite a bit, quite a bit, yes.

LAURA: And your lovely coif.

ASHLEY: Oh, lovely.

TALIESIN: Yes, gorgeous.

MARISHA: Good to see you, dude.

TALIESIN: Yes.

MATT: I guess, while we're in that space, Marisha, if you'd like to...

MARISHA: Oh, yes, I am Celia, Celia Ovesso. Devout follower of The Traveler, and...

SAM: Amazing.

MARISHA: While I know that I was very cold, and maybe closed off, I really don't know if... any of this was warranted. (laughter)

SAM: So good.

MARISHA: I just don't know if this was a just sentence for... my crimes of just being a little bit too myself, but, I will have to deal with this for the rest of my life, so, thank you.

MATT: Well done.

SAM: What does your shirt say? Oh, nice, nice.

MARISHA: I got it, some guy was selling them on the roadside, on the way out, but I think it's a knockoff.

TALIESIN: You don't have to be so hard on yourself there though.

MATT: Hey-o.

ASHLEY: Ey.

LIAM: Just wondering, does anyone have a Wish spell?

MATT: Just, just if you're looking.

MARISHA: I'm raising money. You can kick into my GoFundMe to try and buy a Wish spell. Thank you. Thank you very much.

MATT: All righty. Everyone, you look fabulous, I'm so excited every time the year we get to do this, it makes me happy.

LAURA: Wait, and who are you, Matt?

MATT: "I... am Artagan, in some places known as The Traveler. And let me tell you-- Well, actually it's not much of religion anymore, is it? Never mind, just go about your business, and, sorry, Celia. Don't worry."

LAURA: You look really good!

ASHLEY: You look so good.

MATT: Well, let's go ahead and jump into our announcements tonight, beginning with our sponsor for the evening, NordVPN, Sam.

SAM: Happy Hack-oween, web crawlers! I've been stroking my keys all year trying to defrag the Ultra Kodex and save the WWW Dot Planet. But tonight, the only packets I'll be DL-ing are these delicious assorted candy bars I picked up trick or leet-ing this week. (chuckles) Oh! Oh no! Candy corn? My candy bag has been hacked! If only I had somehow installed NordVPN on it! Providers of highest quality encryption for your internet traffic and hiding your IP and physical location. Right now, they have a special cyber deal, every two year plan purchase gets one additional month free and a surprise gift, go to nordvpn.com/criticalrole and use coupon "criticalrole" at checkout to sign up, but what kind of cookie monster would jailbreak somebody's hard candy hard drive? I will have to do a sweet scan to find out!

MATT: Oh my god. (laughs)

SAM: (trills)

LIAM: Oh, wow. Sound effects.

SAM: Oh, look! What's this? Holy HDMI! A hidden USB drive! I'll just... Jack in.

TRAVIS: Nope.

SAM: Uh-huh. Okay, here we go. (laughter) Trip the trinary, snork the SilverHawk, leg sweep the Cobra Kai, gleaming cube, I've hacked it! It's a text file that says, "Eat this, you latex dork." What does that even mean?

MATT: Wait, wait, wait. Latex?

SAM: Yeah, latex dork.

MATT: That's my Playa name, when we're at Burning Man, Marisha calls me latex dork.

SAM: Why does Marisha call you latex dork?

MATT: No reason...

MARISHA: (chuckles)

SAM: But why would they insult you, Matt? That's my job! Wait a second. Matt? Check your desk.

MATT: What? The missing candy!

SAM: Yes, I knew it. Whoever key punched my Kit-Kats is trying to turn us against each other! Drive a wedge between you and me, but why? And who?

MATT: Maybe we'll find out, next time NordVPN sponsors this show, maybe, if it ever happens again.

SAM: Check them out at nordvpn.com, Matt, hack to you.

TRAVIS: (bagpipes squeaking) (laughter)

MATT: Thank you, Sam. Thank you, NordVPN, thank you, Orly, for the wonderful musical accompaniment there.

LIAM: Funky, little turtle man.

MATT: Indeed. We have a few other announcements. Some of you may have noticed, but this week, we announced our brand new publishing company, Darrington Press. (cheering) Been in the works for a little while, happy we can finally talk about it. It is headed by our good friend, Ivan Van Norman here. (cheering) "Hey, guys!" Some people know them in the tabletop space. We've all been doing this stuff together for a long time, he's wonderful and we're happy to have him helming that. And I'm excited to be on the board as a creative advisor as well. We have a lot of cool things coming up. First off, our game coming out first, Uk'otoa, which we'll release in the first quarter of 2021. Uk'otoa is a tactical game of semi-cooperative card play with factions of sailors vying to be the final survivor of the raging sea leviathan, Uk'otoa.

ALL: (whispering) Uk'otoa...

MATT: You can sign up for our newsletter at darringtonpress.com to hear more about Uk'otoa and our other upcoming releases. Oh, and check out our announcement at critrole.com for more information on Darrington Press, a peek at Uk'otoa's box art and creative team, and a glance at our game slate for 2021.

ALL: (whispering) Uk'otoa...

MATT: Super excited. Wow, you guys. Just, some things never die.

TALIESIN: Like Uk'otoa.

MATT: Ashley, you got some announcements, I believe?

ASHLEY: Hey! So... Thank you so much for your support. (laughter) I'm not going to be able to do this seriously. Yeah, thank you so much for everything that you guys have done and all of your support for the Critical Role Foundation. So since this show is prerecorded, I don't have gloves, so. It's hard to give you an accurate update as to where we are at with the campaign. But we'll be closing our First Nations campaign once we hit $200,000. Which will fund the Native Youth and Culture Funds for eight programs. We were just starting with two, and then you guys are just amazing. We're so stoked, this is so awesome. And then, as a reminder, whenever we don't have an active campaign, donations received will be split evenly between our partner charities. We got 826LA. We got OSD. We got Red Nose Day. We got the Pablove Foundation. And we got OutRight Action International. And with 10% continuing to go to our emergency relief fund, we have many plans, we are so excited, thank you so much. For more info, go to criticalrolefoundation.org.

MATT: Thank you, Ashley, and thank you, everyone for being fabulous, generous, and good souls. And for your faith. No seriously, you guys have been fantastic. Thank you for supporting this endeavor and it's just the beginning. More good to come. Thank you. Laura, you had some things to talk about.

LAURA: Feel like Orly was trying to play just then and it wasn't coming out.

TRAVIS: (bagpipes squeaking)

LAURA: There you go.

MATT: With the Night Court theme? (laughter)

MATT: It's good.

LAURA: We got some merch to talk about today!

MATT: Okay!

LAURA: It's the holidays. The holidays are coming up. So you know, we've been making some stuff because we know, you know, stuff is cool. Okay.

LIAM: Your voice sounds so strange coming out of that dude's mouth.

LAURA: I know, it's weird. I wish I could talk with a lower voice, but I can't. Look at these!

SAM: (yelling) Look it! Look at it!

LAURA: These are-- everybody wants comfy cozy clothes right now, me especially. And these are, we have joggers. These have Nicodranas on them and it's got a really cool little graphic.

MARISHA: So cute!

LAURA: They're so comfy. Okay. Also, as far as comfy clothes go.

SAM: Oh, come on!

LAURA: I'm really excited about this.

SAM: Don't even, with me.

LAURA: We have a pair of pajamas. (cheering and laughter)

MATT: That's all I'm going to wear.

MARISHA: I'm just going to wear that shirt all the time!

LAURA: I know! And they're so soft, and all the doodles were done by Wendy Doodles. (cheering)

LIAM: That's how you dress for 2020.

LAURA: That's right.

SAM: Are those, do they feel-- remember the pajamas that we wore in that video?

LAURA: They are way better than the pajamas in that video.

SAM: Okay, because those were awful.

LAURA: Yeah, no, these are actually really soft. They're like, jersey, cotton t-shirt material, it's wonderful. And then the joggers are really soft and smushy on the inside, I was very adamant that I wanted soft and smushy stuff.

SAM: Awesome.

LAURA: And then, we've got--

TRAVIS: (sneezes) (ruefully) Oh...

LIAM: Ew...

TALIESIN: (cackles)

LAURA: We have this puzzle! (cheering) This puzzle is Vox Machina. It matches our Mighty Nein one, designed by Lauren Walsh, by our friends at The OP, The Op. Huh?

MATT: I said, "Yay, Lauren!"

LAURA: Yay, Lauren. (cheering) All right, all right, all right. There's a couple other things. We released a lot of stuff today! We have a whole line of Vox Machina chibi pins to match our Mighty Nein chibi pins. That includes here, Percy and Vex.

TRAVIS: Aw, so cuties.

LAURA: Aw, and little baby Trinket. Oh, and little chibi Pike! And Scanlan! Oh, and, oh here's a little. I like this, because Keyleth and Vax match each other. They both have their--

ALL: Oh!

MATT: Oh, I love that!

LAURA: Their little opening. And then we have Grog Strongjaw. And Taryon Darrington! (cheering) And all of these pins were done by Jenny Park, and they're super cute, and our own Aaron designed the backing, and I'm obsessed with all the backs. And then, we also have.

MATT: Damn, Laura's been busy!

LAURA: Dude, I know, okay? So our Tal'Dorei Republic tank, and our Beau...

SAM: Sleeves are bullshit?

LAURA: Sleeves are bullshit, are both available in the AU.

SAM: In the AU?

LAURA: Wait, jeez, wait.

SAM: Atomic Units?

LAURA: No, Australian.

SAM: Are they halfway to the sun?

LAURA: Wait.

SAM: Astronomical Units?

LAURA: The lighter one... I don't know if I have all the things I'm supposed to have. There's all different variants and they're available in the UK and Australia. You should check them out and see what you have in your store! I did good job on these announcements.

MARISHA: You did, you did!

MATT: Yay! (applause)

MARISHA: Nailed it!

MATT: (as Artagan) "If I must say, I thought that was a wonderful job."

LAURA: Oh, thank you very much, I appreciate that.

TRAVIS: (bagpipes squeaking)

SAM: Why do you do this with the bag?

TRAVIS: I lost the instruction manual!

ASHLEY: That's the air, right?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

SAM: I understand pushing it, but he's like, he's working it with his fingers like it's a guitar!

ASHLEY: It's more of a...

LAURA: Well, it's a teeny tiny bagpipe, so...

MARISHA: I like it.

TRAVIS: (squeaky bagpipe)

MATT: It's a very, very, Bill and Ted way of doing it. I respect that. All right, well. I believe that brings us to the end of our announcements. So let's go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of... Critical Role. (cheering)

(water bubbling) (thunder rumbling) (explosion) ♪ Role, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Role, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Role, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Role, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Role, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Role, Critical Role ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪ ♪ The adventure begins ♪ ♪ They were always beside you ♪ ♪ Your nerdy best friends ♪ ♪ And the DM to guide you ♪ ♪ And they rise from the flames for the battles ahead ♪ ♪ Villains beware because you're about to be dead ♪ ♪ They got magic and flair ♪ ♪ They got falchions and cunning ♪ ♪ They don't see over there ♪ ♪ There's a monster incoming ♪ ♪ Inspiration is waiting, rise up, don't think twice ♪ ♪ Put your fate in your hands, take a chance, ♪ ♪ roll the dice ♪ ♪ Roll the dice ♪ ♪ Critical Role (roll the dice) ♪ ♪ Critical Role (roll the dice) ♪ ♪ Ooh, ahh ♪ ♪ Can you answer the call ♪ ♪ Diggin' deep in your soul ♪ ♪ As the legend unfolds ♪ ♪ Now it's your turn (your turn, your turn) ♪ ♪ to roll ♪ (flames whooshing)

Part I
MATT: Welcome back. So right before we hop in, one quick correction, Laura, realized--

LAURA: All right, I found the things I was supposed to show off. Here's the tank tops I was supposed to talk about. This one, oh no. (laughter) This one is available in our UK store, this one's available in our Australia store. They're slightly different colors!

TRAVIS: Nice, nice. (applause)

LAURA: I love you guys.

SAM: Worth it.

MARISHA: Nailed it!

MATT: Thank you, Laura.

LIAM: Stuck the landing.

MATT: So last we left off, Mighty Nein. After making a deal with the Archmage of Antiquity of the Cerberus Assembly, Lady Vess DeRogna, to escort her to the northern region known as Eiselcross, to head towards possibly an excavation for the long lost, pre-Calamity city of Aeor. You made your way northward to the very final precipice of the Greying Wildlands, chartered a ship known as the Midnight Hammer, and made your way across the dangerous Frigid Depths. For days you journeyed with some chance encounters, along with an ambush by the apparently raised, undead Captain Avantika, seeking one such item that you still carry, the last remnant required to unleash Uk'otoa.

ALL: (whispering) Uk'otoa...

MATT: After she escaped with this artifact, you gave chase as orcas, and, through some ingenuity and some quick movement, managed to head her off at the curb. And in doing so dispatch her undead form deep beneath the waves. Returning to the ship, you made your way to the final elements of this journey. And we left off as the Midnight Hammer began to slowly dock into Balenpost, on the southern edge of Foren. The central largest island portion of Eiselcross. So. You watch as the ship makes that impact sensation, that grinding (booms) as it hits the rock and ice. Signifying it coming to a stop. Its last bit of momentum only being ceased by the heavy piece of earth that meets it there. Lady Vess comes out and conjures this greenish array of sparks in the sky above that you see forming into the familiar trio symbol, the triad of diamonds, that is the symbol of the Cerberus Assembly. At that point, the once threadbare crew that once stood at the docks begins to grow more and more crowded as individuals begin to come out with materials and set up the gangplank and help weigh down anchor and tie it to the dock. Immediately you see heavily bundled dock workers begin to fix the vessel in place and figures begin to step onboard, wrapped in thick padded jackets of red leathers and gray fur. You see a man, human in his 50s, a tangled curly mop of light brown hair receding at the temples approach and say, "Ah, hello, my friend. I was not expecting you to come quite so... abruptly, but you are of course welcome, Lady." And, Lady Vess gives a little nod and goes, "I am here with my compatriots. They are my hired hands for this endeavor. Please make sure they are taken care of." He goes and turns to her and says, "How long is the ship to remain in port?" And she goes, "Well, actually, they, they were only hired to drop us off, so they may return about their business once they have gathered their supplies." He goes, "All right, and your compatriots here? Is there a leader or a name of which I should refer to you?"

TRAVIS: Yes, of course, we are known as the Mighty Nein.

MATT: "Mighty Nein. I take it you are the leader."

TRAVIS: Oh no.

LAURA: He's our captain.

SAM: Caleb's more the leader.

LAURA: Well...

SAM: But, I mean, at sea, he's the leader, sure, sure.

MATT: "Mm. I am Wardlow Akron. It is my charge to keep Balenpost in check and well-greased in these cold, icy regions. So should you require anything, don't ask me, but certainly know that you're under my, under my guise while you're around. And how long were you planning to stay?" As he leans in and Lady Vess, who's, at this point, starting to walk off the ship, giving him half attention, goes, "I gather probably no more than a day or two as we gather supplies and head northward, but we should not be in your way." At which point they step off, if you guys want to follow suit there's a now a crowd of people following, flanking side to side, escorting you as you make your way off the dock to the central gate that meets the docks and head inward to the actual fort of Balenpost itself. The heavy, tall, 10-ish foot log walls greeting you there with a little bit of a shimmer of ice that has gathered on the outside that you can see glistens a bit with what bit of light is coming through the grayish sky. You watch as Wardlow leans forward again and goes, "Whenever you're comfortable, I would, I'm sure there are some who would be eager to give you a tour of the current projects in Horswell's laboratory." And she goes, "That would be sufficient. But, however, allow us to gather our things, find some bit of comfort, perhaps a meal, and then I'll come to find you. Come, come," and looks to all of you with a bit of a flick of a finger to follow suit. The gates that are partially opened lead into the central fort of Balenpost, and around you can see the flickering orange glow of torchlight amongst various elements of the walls. You're dealing with the fact of me giving this presentation as Artagan?

LAURA: And just looking around.

MARISHA: Just, all of us.

LAURA: Yeah, I know, every time I look at Ashley, really.

MATT: This is why I love the Halloween episode so much. I'm only hoping we can get, you know, more important character advancement, and dramatic scenes. Like when Veth got her body back when Sam was dressed as a leprechaun, let's make this happen.

MATT: So far, what I've learned in this episode is, eyebrows, eyebrows, eyebrows...

MATT: Moley moley mole. (laughter) So. Entering the inside, your feet crunch over the heavy, thick, now grimy and gray patched snow and ice that seems to be gathered and pressed to the edges of the inside of the courtyard that is the fort itself. You can see numerous tents and small structures that line the perimeter of it with small wooden watchtowers that poke over the edges where you can see guards with longbows and crossbows just keeping watch from higher positions. You can see there is one, large, central fortification that sits on the western edge of the inside of this courtyard which was the large structure you saw as you came into dock. This looks to be the central barracks and main defensive positioning point within Balenpost. A multi-floored, stone and wood building. Almost like a small, castle-like fortification, but of less accessible materials. It looks to be a bit more ramshackle, but definitely functional. As you're guided up through the courtyard, you can see the heavy portcullis of cross met iron bars begins to lift up, out of your way. As you head into the interior of the base floor of this main fort structure, immediately the temperature becomes a bit warmer and more welcoming. The light is limited, beyond a couple of sconces of metal that are bolted into elements of the stone and wood. And even then the embers burn low. But it is a much better interior than the top of the ship or your walk brusquely to this position. Heading inside, you begin to take stock of the interior. You hear Akron apologizing briefly to Lady Vess. "I'm terribly sorry about the current circumstances and our limited supplies. The situation in Icehaven, north of Icehaven, has somewhat caused issues with the supply ships, as you know. Hopefully they won't be diverted much longer, but for now, we're doing what we can with what we have." And she gives a nod, continues walking. Into the base part of this fort proper, the central main chamber, there are rickety tables and stools strewn about this darkly lit area just the elements of lantern light occasionally scatter across a handful of these tables. You can see miserable-looking workers and other members of Balenpost itself sitting and drinking from rather rugged cups, eating very plain-looking food lacking any color in this low light let alone, if that would help, if it was a brighter space. Very little conversation, and mostly just a lot of grumbles, chewing, and staring at the newcomers as you all step into the central region here. After a brief moment, you see Vess goes, "Ah, well," gestures to the rest of you. "This is fortuitous, perhaps we'll have a longer conversation. Dagen! Dagen." And she gives a hand call over. You watch as this extremely grizzled-looking male dwarf approaches from the corner of the shadows. His face, a mess of tanned leathery skin, callouses frame edges of his chin and a mane of jet black hair that tumbles thick past his shoulders. And seems to mesh with this very, rat's nest of a black beard that rests over the clavicle. His tattoos wrap his arms right up to the bracer. And, more, you assume, are probably hidden beneath his breastplate. His arms flex impressively as he pushes himself near you, within an intricate chair of scuffed metal and wood. A large pair of slanted wheels affixed to its sides. With numerous tools and plates bolted onto it. You've seen contraptions like this before around Exandria, but none quite as dangerous looking as this. He brings himself forward and glances to all the rest of you. "Lady Vess. I can see you've made your way here and, I take it these are your compatriots that are going to be coming along the journey, is that correct?"

TRAVIS: Indeed. We are the Mighty Nein. We are at your disposal.

MATT: "Mm. Dagen. Well, make yourselves at home. We'll go ahead and talk on preparation soon enough. Y'all look a bit haggard and worse for wear from the journey, I know it's been some time, but, if you need anything, come find me."

SAM: You're our guide, correct?

MATT: "Indeed."

SAM: Do you know, just so we can prepare, will we be journeying on foot, or on the back of some sort of beast, or in a wheeled vehicle of some sort?

MATT: "Not a whole lot of beasts that can be tamed for bringing up on these parts. So we're going to have to take this by foot."

SAM: Huh. Okay.

LIAM: Also, I hope you don't mind my asking, but this place seems very well-guarded. What are the primary threats in this region that you are on guard against?

MATT: "(laughs) Let's get a few drinks later on, we'll talk about it."

LAURA: How long until we leave?

MATT: "Well, I guess that's up to," and he points to Vess and Vess goes, "No more than 40 or so hours. Just some time to situate, relax. I have a few meetings to take and then we will make our way, northward, huh?"

TRAVIS: Is Akron still around?

MATT: Akron is about maybe 10 feet behind her.

TRAVIS: And he was who met us at the docks, right?

MATT: Correct.

TRAVIS: Can I go over to him and say: I'm assuming this is a very busy port. Have you seen, by chance, an old acquaintance of ours? A purple tiefling with red eyes come through here recently?

MATT: "Can't say that I have. This place isn't as busy as you'd think."

TRAVIS: Hmm.

MATT: "But... We'll keep an eye out."

TRAVIS: Thank you.

MATT: "Is there any concern with this individual?"

TRAVIS: Oh, not at all. No, no, no. He's a fellow explorer, like ourselves. He might've found his way up here. But, you know, his research is his own.

MATT: "Fair enough. Well, this does tend to draw some of those with some... delving experience and a need for coin, so, if he hasn't been here soon, he might show up at some point. And if that happens, I'll let Lady Vess know. And she'll convey this to you, I assume, right?" And she goes, "Of course. Not a worry."

TRAVIS: Thank you.

MATT: You said what?

SAM: No, nothing. I'm not there, so I'm not making any insight check.

MATT: Okay, gotcha.

TRAVIS: (pigeon coo)

MATT: After this moment, you can see Vess is having a quiet conversation with Dagen and then turns over, back to you--

MARISHA: Can I see them?

MATT: You can see them.

MARISHA: What are they saying? (whispering) I can read lips.

LAURA: (whispering) Are you Observant?

MARISHA: (whispering) Yes, I am!

LAURA: (whispering) Nice!

MATT: Make a perception check. Because you are in low light here.

MARISHA: Perception check? Okay.

MATT: Just because they're a little bit of a ways away and there's low light, so.

MARISHA: 18.

MATT: 18, yeah. Easy enough. You see her leaning in, and what you catch is her saying, "Do not worry, gather what we need. We'll be out of here soon. The payment will be delivered upon our disembarking."

MARISHA: This was to Dagen?

MATT: This was to Dagen, yeah.

MARISHA: Okay.

SAM: All right, business.

MARISHA: I mean, yeah. Okay.

LIAM: I am still totally disoriented and can't tell who's talking. At any time. All the wrong voices.

LAURA: I know, it's really...

TRAVIS: I keep losing Ashley. I'm like, huh? (laughs)

MARISHA: You do blend in with the light quite well.

ASHLEY: This is hot! I'm like--

MATT: Yeah. Lady Vess turns back to Wardlow Akron, says, "I assume my quarters have been prepared?" To which he says, "Yes, Lady DeRogna." "Good." She turns to the rest of you. "Take the day to prepare for the lengthy journey ahead. Gather whatever you need from whatever meager supplies they may have available. Ask around. Get familiar with the terrain. I have some business to handle with Akron. We'll take a night's rest, then after that long journey, we'll begin a new one with Mr. Dagen Underthorn here. Tomorrow midday, perhaps, weather willing. See you perhaps for dinner."

SAM: All right.

MATT: She begins to make her way up the stairs.

SAM: Well? It's just us, then. I guess we'll do our standard day of training that we always do together?

LAURA: Yes, definitely, all of the training.

SAM: Yeah. So that we're an elite super force tomorrow.

TALIESIN: Or we could buy more food.

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: Oh yeah, because we gave all of ours to the cetus.

TALIESIN: Yeah, that might be an option.

SAM: Let's do that instead.

TALIESIN: All right.

ASHLEY: That's a good idea.

LAURA: I bet the food will be very expensive here.

TALIESIN: It's only money.

LAURA: That's true.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

SAM: Well, I'll just ask around and see if there's a-- if anyone can recommend-- We're in a bar right now? Where are we?

MATT: It's more like--

SAM: A fort?

MATT: You're in the bottom floor of this multi, probably three story tall, boxy fortress that is built from stone and wood that sits as the central and largest bulwark here in Balenpost.

SAM: And then around that is, like, other structures and a wall or is it open?

MATT: Yeah, there's a large, slightly oval or kidney shaped wall that surrounds the entirety of Balenpost and around the inside of the wall, there are tents and heavier structures, but none of them even remotely close to the size of this central fortress.

SAM: All right, I'll just ask around and see if there's any place that-- or person, or tent that sells food.

MATT: Okay. Okay. Go ahead and make an investigation check for me.

SAM: 32.

MATT: 32. Looking about, just quickly glancing at the way the system of society seems to function here. You quickly begin to make out that there are some tents and structures that are heavily storage-based, some that you know, gather... generally supplies to maintain the survival of everyone here. And, that area is very heavily guarded. You do notice, on the northeastern side near the gate, you do see a green tent where Dagen Underthorn is making his way towards. Possibly either his abode or he has business there. You do see... there's not much of a society here. Most of it is designed for the military-ish or guarding purposes of this location and the folks who stay here vary between Dwendalian Empire attire, some semblance of townsguard, but not quite as uniform, and many just appear to be rough and tumble sell-swords that make their living with whatever business Balenpost wishes to hire them for. But there are probably, after asking around a bit, you find there are some individuals here that are willing to sell you supplies that are their own. There isn't so much a large business here for selling a lot of people that come in and out. Most everyone here has some sort of business with the Empire and materials are given. But you can attempt to... to discuss what business you have here and perhaps push that weight a bit.

SAM: Sure, if there's someone to talk to?

MATT: Okay. You do watch as one of the buildings has a number of thick leathers that are somewhat frozen and placed over the back wall of one structure. And you can see there, rope is tied around large wooden slats in a way where you gather, a lot of captured or hunted game is probably prepared for meals and whatever resources are on them can be taken and utilized about. And you do notice, on the inside of the partially ajar door, you see this hulking humanoid form that's in the process of currently carving a heavy piece of skin from some sort of a corpse.

SAM: Caduceus, you want to come talk to this fellow about meat with me?

TALIESIN: I mean, meat's not really going to do me any good, but sure.

SAM: Oh, but I mean for the others.

TALIESIN: All right, I just don't know much about it, but let me-- let me see what I can--

ASHLEY: I know a good amount about meat.

SAM: You want to come? Meat talk?

ASHLEY: Yeah, I can do some meat talk!

TALIESIN: I think between the three of us, we could do this.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

SAM: We'll do-- we'll have a meat-cute.

TRAVIS: I can't fucking do it! (laughs)

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: It's so... (laughs)

SAM: Hello!

MATT: (squeaks) As you press into the door, it grinds and squeaks at the same time, its hinges themselves partially frozen from lack of mobility and movement. As you press in and say, "Hello," what little bit of light there is flickering from the nearby lantern that's framing this hulking figure, the hulking figure spins around quickly, still holding this large, hooked looking Bowie knife-like blade, and clutching whatever half-carved corpse is laid across this wooden table in the other hand and turns to you. You now see this tall, human, but larger. You can take a moment to focus in and appears to be of giant blood. Female goliath. Hair completely shorn, and a series of tattoos that appear to be scars. Self-imposed, or at least intentionally placed designs that are scarred into the flesh, across the face, down the chest. Just wearing this loose leather apron that's lying in the front of them. "What do you want?"

SAM: Oh, hi there.

TALIESIN: Oh.

SAM: I...

ASHLEY: We came to talk to you about some meat and some provisions, you know? Things of that nature, just wanted to see what type of meat you have.

MATT: "We got meat."

ASHLEY: What kinds?

MATT: "We got wolf meat." And you watch as she takes the blade and throws it, and it sticks into this folded pile of somewhat freshly cut, still glistening in the lantern light, striated muscle, uncooked, sitting there in the corner.

ASHLEY: Okay. Wolf is good.

SAM: Is it good?

ASHLEY: It's lean, it's a little gamey, but it's good.

SAM: All right.

MATT: "We got mammoth."

SAM: Mammoth?!

ASHLEY: You have what again? Mammoth?

MATT: And she points over on the far end of the table. You can see there's a window that's open, and hanging in it, there's this heavy, heavy, it looks almost like a a steak side, but it's about three and a half feet long and it's hitting the ceiling and then tucking inside. And it's left this big red stain that's caused the little bit of snow that's blown in with it to also turn a reddish orange around it.

SAM: I'm picturing the ribs from the Fred Flintstone--

TALIESIN: Exactly. Exactly.

MATT: Not unlike that. You're not wrong.

SAM: Yeah. Oh, is mammoth good? Is that a good-- is that good?

MATT: "It's meat."

TALIESIN: Seems like a--

SAM: Meat, okay.

ASHLEY: I've never had it, so I don't know.

TALIESIN: Is mammoth good?

SAM: She said it's meat.

TALIESIN: Oh, well, then if people like meat, then it must be good, I guess.

SAM: And you'd be willing to part with some of this meat for a price or a trade?

MATT: "How much you want?"

SAM: Of the meat?

ASHLEY: Well, we need, you know, for--

TALIESIN: Most everybody.

SAM: One, two, three, four, five, six, six people for a week.

SAM: Yeah.

LIAM: Nine.

MATT: "Wolf? Or mammoth? Or both?"

SAM: If you could describe them, it would help us decide. Right now, they're just sort of similar.

MATT: "Wolves are smaller creatures, covered in thin fur, kind of whitish in color in this region."

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: "Long snouts. Hunt in packs."

ASHLEY: Yeah. Yep, yep, yep.

MATT: "Mammoths. Massive pachyderm-like creatures. Long extended stout with gargantuan tusks. Thick, coarse fur covers the entire body. Also travel in packs, but not hunters. More scavengers."

ASHLEY: And the mammoths are a lot bigger than wolves.

MATT: "Much bigger."

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: She knows.

SAM: Very good detail.

TALIESIN: I mean when in doubt, I guess you order a flight for people? Is that the--?

TRAVIS: A flight! (laughs)

ASHLEY: Maybe we can get a little bit of both?

SAM: Yeah. That's a great idea.

ASHLEY: I'm going to give the meat a sniff. To make sure it's... good.

MATT: You've had meat, in all stages of freshness in your life. This is... You know, it's not the freshest, but it's not... It's not going bad.

TRAVIS: It's fucking cold.

MATT: If anything, the temperature helps keep it continuously refrigerated. So it's got some life on it.

ASHLEY: Yeah. I think we should take a little half and half. Do you happen to have anything a little bit more exotic? Bugs? You know, things that are... In this region, that Eiselcross is known for?

SAM: Or vegetables? We wouldn't say no to some vegetables.

TALIESIN: I imagine they'd be difficult to get up here, but, you know, long shot.

SAM: For sure, you never know.

MATT: "I ain't got vegetables. But if you ask around, you might find someone who's brought some with them."

SAM: Okay.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: "I just work in meat."

SAM: You're the Meat Woman, then?

MATT: "I guess."

SAM: Okay, cool, cool.

TALIESIN: Well, it's nice to meat you, then.

SAM: Oh.

LIAM: Wow.

TALIESIN: You can use that.

MATT: "(laughs huskily) (continues laughing)"

TALIESIN: Oh, oh.

MATT: "I like you."

TALIESIN: Oh, I like you, too. So we should buy some meat.

SAM: Yes, how much? For seven days worth of half and half.

MATT: "Seven days worth for seven, you said?"

SAM: Six people, but yeah.

MATT: "Six people. 30 gold pieces."

SAM: It's expensive.

TALIESIN: Well, you've got to remember where we are.

SAM: Sure, if I give you 40 gold, could you also tell me, what's it like, does Wardlow Akron run things around here?

MATT: "Akron run things for the Assembly, aye."

SAM: And are they a good organizer of things? Are they on the up and up or are they shady-- shady dealings?

MATT: "Don't know if you looked around here, Missy, but everyone here's a bit shady."

SAM: True. True.

MATT: "So no, I'd say he fits in quite well."

SAM: And do you know anything about Dagen Underthorn?

MATT: "That man's a beast."

SAM: A beast?

MATT: "Been all up and down most parts here in Eiselcross, Foren specifically."

SAM: But respected?

MATT: "Aye."

SAM: Would you... would you want him on your side in a battle?

MATT: "Aye, of course."

SAM: Okay.

MATT: "And he's brought us some meat himself a few times, some of the bigger beasts. Took 'em down single-handed, or so he said."

TRAVIS: Damn.

TALIESIN: And, just, last question, you haven't seen a purple tiefling wandering around anytime in the last week or so?

MATT: "No."

TALIESIN: Ah, worth asking.

MATT: "Don't get many tieflings up here. Cold weather and all that."

TALIESIN: Fair.

MATT: "Is that another joke?"

TALIESIN: I don't get it.

MATT: "(laughs huskily)" (laughter)

TALIESIN: Huh.

ASHLEY: Well...

SAM: This was a delight.

ASHLEY: This was great. Wolf and mammoth, that's what you got?

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: "All right. Pay up, I'll cut it down for you."

SAM: Here you go.

ASHLEY: Here, I can--

SAM: No, it's okay, I got it.

MATT: She goes ahead and carves down quite a bit of meat for what you paid for.

SAM: You have some butcher paper or something to put it in?

MATT: She just throws it into this like--

SAM: Cool, cool.

MATT: You know, series of small burlap sacks that immediately to begins to soak through. Hands it over.

TALIESIN: That'll be fine.

SAM: Wet meat? Okay, sure.

TALIESIN: I mean...

LAURA: It'll freeze, it's fine.

MATT: "What's your name, sugar?"

SAM: Oh yeah. Yeah, you!

TALIESIN: Oh, well.

MATT: "Yeah, the jokester."

TALIESIN: Ah, Caduceus Clay, it's a pleasure to meet you.

MATT: "Oh, pleasure. I'm Oweda."

TALIESIN: Pleasure, Oweda.

MATT: "Previously a head hunter here in this region. Now just sort of a purveyor of meat."

TALIESIN: How long have you been up here for?

MATT: "Oh, just about six or so months."

TALIESIN: Wow. It's got to take a toll on you for awhile. I've never been anywhere this cold before.

MATT: "Yeah. Not a lot of companionship up here."

SAM: Oh, shit.

TRAVIS: Wow.

LAURA: Get it, Clay!

TALIESIN: I can imagine.

TRAVIS: ♪ Come on ride the train ♪

TALIESIN: Well, if we're done here, I guess we've got everything we need.

SAM: You can stay if you want, we could just--

TALIESIN: Oh, no, I've got to find some veggies or something.

ASHLEY: Yeah, because we have so much time, you probably could stay.

SAM: If you want to stay and talk, that's fine.

TALIESIN: Oh, we'll come back later. It will be nice to see you, once I come up with another joke, I'll come on by.

MATT: "Please do."

TALIESIN: I'll be thinking about it.

MATT: "Okay."

SAM: All right. I guess we'll leave.

MATT: "(laughs huskily)"

SAM: Caduceus!

MATT: "'Meat you!'" you hear as you leave.

SAM: She was into you! Did you not read that? She was into you!

TALIESIN: Ah. Really?

ASHLEY: Big time. Even I read it.

TALIESIN: Ah, it's, it's nah, I don't have time for that. That's all right.

SAM: What do you mean, you don't have time for that? We have 40 hours! That's-- you can-- You guys could have sex 40 times.

TALIESIN: (laughs) Yeah, yeah, no, that's just not... I get it. It's not really my thing.

SAM: Are you just not-- not?

TALIESIN: No, not really.

SAM: Not into her, or just not into--

TALIESIN: Oh, not into anybody. I enjoy what you all have going on. That's a lot of fun to watch. I mean, not there, specifically, but you know, just, we all bounce off each other, it's kind of great. But nah, it's not really for me.

SAM: It's not your thing?

TALIESIN: No, not my thing.

SAM: Well, it must free up your mind and heart for--

TALIESIN: So much.

SAM: So much other stuff.

TALIESIN: Yeah. No. Gives me time to think about cooking, keeping everybody together, yeah.

SAM: And I, you know, I'm pretty set with my hubby, but... thinking about, you know, getting with somebody, or coupling or whatever, must take up a lot of psychic energy, right, Yasha?

ASHLEY: Oh, I imagine it probably does for some people. I imagine it probably takes up, like every thought in their day.

SAM: Like, a lotta stress, probably.

ASHLEY: So much stress, probably just, like, I can't stop thinking about it.

SAM: Oh, you can't stop thinking about it? Or are you just talking hypothetically?

ASHLEY: No, I'm saying a hypothetical... if someone were in that position, you know? They would... they would think about it all the time and probably get really weird around the person.

SAM: Sure, sure.

ASHLEY: I imagine.

TALIESIN: See how much fun this is to watch? It's crazy.

SAM: But that's not something that you feel?

ASHLEY: No, no. No. I feel like... No, that's not how I feel at all. Just giving you a hypothetical because I'm very empathetic and I understand where people are coming from.

SAM: All right.

ASHLEY: I'm just kidding, I'm not very empathetic.

TALIESIN: Say, that's-- I recommend the monastery, you know? The monastic life is a good vibe for that.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

SAM: Well, we'll take the meat back, I guess.

TRAVIS: (laughing) You have to push the crabgrass beard! (laughs)

TALIESIN: Can't stop, damn it. (laughter)

LAURA: Leave it on forever.

TRAVIS: Every time you turn your head, it's the best thing I've ever seen!

TALIESIN: I've never seen a plant blush before, but it's kind of spectacular.

ASHLEY: Oh god.

MATT: All right. Is there any other-- anything else anybody would like to do? You have some time.

LAURA: Is there anybody just wandering around that I can talk to when I go outside and I'm building a snowman? Is there anybody around to talk to?

MATT: Okay, so, to get this correct, you walked outside and then began building a snowman?

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: Fuck yes, okay. First, partway into the snowman, you do look around and, there are a number of eyes on you. This is probably not a common occurrence here in the middle of Balenpost. Make a perception check.

LIAM: I am watching.

MARISHA: I'm watching, too.

MATT: All right. Perception check.

LAURA: That's cocked. That's shit.

MARISHA: Oh, it's not great.

LAURA: Nine!

MARISHA: Nine!

MATT: I mean there's people around, and you can just pick one and go. Like, as soon as you start looking around, people are just standing there in the middle of their business, just looking. And the moment in any sort of other town where everyone would be like, oh, feel awkward and go about their business, they just keep staring.

LAURA: I just stare at the one that's staring at me back right now and go: Did you want to help? Do you want to help? It's really fun.

MATT: (low-pitched voice) "No. That's silly stuff."

LAURA: I won't tell anyone.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

LAURA: (whispers) Oh, that's good! 22.

MATT: You see the gentleman who is standing there is wearing a--

LAURA: Ooh, The Gentleman.

MATT: There you go. A bit of a... patchwork bit of leather with a little a metal shoulder pauldron on one side, he looks like he's seen some tough winters. He has a big scar across his jaw. And the lip itself is cleft a little bit there and healed that way. The kind of person that you'd expect to see living in a harsh environment like this that has survived it and done a good job. Looks over to one of his compatriots and hands the shield over to him and the spear that he was holding, he goes, "I mean, I've just got to make sure that, you know, she's not doing anything untoward." Walks over puffing his chest out. "So is this, um... supposed to be some sort of man?"

LAURA: It's going to be a man; it's a snowman. But I'm not an expert at doing this, you know? Because I grew up in a very warm place. But will you help me make a ball? It should be smaller than the one that I just put down.

MATT: "Yeah, I'll help you with your business."

LAURA: Thanks.

MATT: Kneels down and starts packing it with you.

LAURA: So what's interesting to do around here? Is there anything fun?

MATT: "I mean there's cards."

LAURA: Cards!

MATT: "Cards and dice games in the inside of the fort there. Usually around sundown and..."

LAURA: Oh, that sounds like fun.

MATT: "There's a lot of fighting."

LAURA: Fighting?

MATT: "Yeah, people get drunk and bored and they fight."

LAURA: Oh yes, yes. We've done that before, too.

MATT: There's not much else, really.

LAURA: What's going on in Icehaven?

MATT: "There's some sort of... from what I heard, breakdown in negotiations with the Commune of Storm Giants or something there in the Frigid Depths, and. So right now, none of the Empire ships can go straight through to the north, and it's really messed up our supply line around here."

LAURA: Oh, wow.

MATT: "I've been eating nothing but... gristle and grain for about four weeks, and, let me tell you, it's real wrecking on your insides.

LAURA: I believe you, hold on! I pull out one of my pastries. I get out my rod and I warm it up a little bit and I give it to him. What's your name?

MATT: "Is this, is this like a... like a baked good?"

LAURA: It's called a pastry.

MATT: "Man, I haven't seen one of these in a while."

LAURA: They're really tasty. That one's cherry flavored.

MATT: "I've got to confiscate this, you know?"

LAURA: Oh, of course. What's your name?

TRAVIS: With my mouth. (laughs)

MATT: (inaudible through a mouth of food)

LAURA: Huh?

SAM: Kiri?

MATT: "Keylen."

SAM: Oh.

LAURA: Keylen? That's a good name.

MATT: "Thank you, what's your name?"

LAURA: I'm Jester.

MATT: "Jester, you're... Not the usual kind of person that comes through here."

LAURA: Yes, we are a very unusual sort of group.

MATT: "Just be careful."

LAURA: Okay. Of what?

MATT: He gestures. He's like, "All of it."

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: "I mean, those walls are there for a reason."

LAURA: Right.

MATT: "How long are you staying? "Are you heading back on boat?"

LAURA: No, we're actually heading out--

MATT: "This is incredible, by the way."

LAURA: I know, right? I don't know how long we're staying, I'm not exactly sure what we're doing, but our boat left, so. (stammers)

MATT: "Okay, well, just don't go too far out past the walls there. There's all sorts of nasties that live out there in the ice."

LAURA: All right. Thank you... Keylen?

MATT: "Keylen."

LAURA: Thank you, Keylen.

MATT: "No worries."

LAURA: Maybe I'll see you playing cards?

MATT: "Yeah, if you play cards. Careful though. There's a rough bunch that usually throws down, so... I'd recommend maybe just watching before you go in too deep."

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: "Some egos."

LAURA: Oh, okay. Good to know.

MATT: "Thank you."

LAURA: Thank you for helping me build this.

MATT: And he goes and takes a little copper piece out of his pocket and makes the nose.

LAURA: Yeah!

MATT: Stands up, finishes it. "Don't let me catch you doing that again."

LAURA: Okay. Yes, sir, you got it, sir.

MATT: Walks over and grabs the shield and spear. The guy over there hands it to him like, "Are you serious?" giving that look. And he's like, "Shut up." (sniffs) Quickly shuffles off back to doing his walk around the perimeter.

LIAM: Yeah, a couple of minutes back, I started to build a snowman at Beauregard's feet. A big one. Are you going to help me do this? This is what they do here, so.

MARISHA: I just kick it. Whatever you started. (laughter)

MATT: You hear, you hear, a faint-- especially at both of your passive perceptions, a faint cacophony of about seven or eight different voices chuckle the minute it happens in the vicinity.

MARISHA: Sorry, I'll... let's build a snowman.

LIAM: Okay, but you build that because I did all that work for the last minute so you'll have to make up for it.

MARISHA: Just take a glob of snow, pelt him in the face with it.

SAM: Jesus!

TRAVIS: (laughs)

LIAM: Keep going, though, please.

MARISHA: Pelting you in the face with snowballs? Okay.

LAURA: I pelt Beau in the face with a snowball from a distance.

TRAVIS: Oh no.

MARISHA: It's got some ice in it. Stings, man, it stings a little. I pelt her back!

LAURA: Argh!

MATT: (chuckles)

LAURA: Yeah, full on snow fight.

MARISHA: Snow fight!

TRAVIS: I cast Disintegrate on... (laughter)

ASHLEY: We got some meat!

MATT: Yeah, as you guys walk up, you immediately see--

MARISHA: I pop Yasha.

MATT: -- in the middle of this, your friends are starting the most localized snowball fight. And in the middle of, I don't know, essentially the wall in "Game of Thrones," like, no one here would ever be in a snow fight, but yet here in the middle of the Night's Watch are your friends throwing snowballs.

ASHLEY: This makes sense.

LIAM: I would like to cast Telekinesis on Beauregard and throw her into a snowdrift.

SAM: Nice!

LAURA, ASHLEY, and MARISHA: (gasps)

MATT: Oh, go ahead and make a save on that. What's the save?

LAURA: That's awesome!

LIAM: 18.

MATT: 18, and what's--

LIAM: Strength.

MATT: Strength!

MARISHA: Oh, definitely fail, I rolled a five. So 10 total.

LIAM: Hey, buddy. Payback is a bitch (whooshing).

MATT: And immediately you're lifted in the air like some mysterious hand just grabbed you and held you like a limp puppet and then chucks you into the snowbank nearby. Boof! This large snow explosion and all the guards that were watching at this point, chuckling, all of a sudden go like, and there's a quiet hush that falls over them as they realize there's a little more to these wandering fuckheads. (laughter)

MARISHA: I just, out of the snowdrift, give him a thumbs up. (strained) That was really good. You knocked the air out of me. It was really good.

LAURA: Can you do it to me?

LIAM: Yeah. You ready?

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I want to go!

LIAM: Which one? Do you want to go into the near one or the far one?

LAURA: The fluffy one!

LIAM: The fluffy one? No, I'll do the far one instead. (whooshing)

MATT: (laughs) You don't even try and save?

LAURA: No!

MATT: Nope. (little whoosh) (big whoosh)

LAURA: (screams)

MATT: At an intense speed, but not so much to point to hurt you, you hit it like a bunch of really cold icy pillows. You just collide and you guys see-- you don't see an explosion as much as you see this outline of Jester's body just sink immediately into the snowbank.

TRAVIS: Like sleet-y?

MATT: Yeah. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Oh fuck.

LAURA: That was not as fluffy as I expected, but still really fun.

MATT: This one's made just for me.

MARISHA: Yeah! (laughter)

MATT: But yeah.

LIAM: I hope we do not get into a brawl today. That took a lot of effort. (laughter)

LIAM: Worth it. I go back to building my snowman.

LAURA: That was awesome!

LIAM: And I'm going to put two heads on the snowman and I'm going to, with a stick, draw sort of a smiley face on one and a frowny (grunts) on the other one. And when Beauregard limps over, I say: Look, that's us.

MARISHA: Aw, it is, but which one's-- wait. Who's the happy one and who's the sad one?

LAURA: Yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LIAM: I rub over the smile and I make a little frown. We're both frowning.

MARISHA: That feels right, yeah. That looks better.

LIAM: We should probably find some lodging.

MARISHA: Yeah.

SAM: Oh yes.

MARISHA: Are we staying in that outpost, in the military barracks?

TALIESIN: I can't imagine there's a lot of options.

MARISHA: I don't think this is a place with a tavern.

TALIESIN: Maybe a room with a drink.

SAM: Do you need a closet to make your--

LIAM: No, just privacy.

MATT: To clarify, because I may have just glossed over it or forgotten to-- but you do have rooms prepared for you in the main fort.

SAM: Oh, great.

MATT: Bottom floor, but you do have three chambers that have been assigned to you all. You haven't been to them yet necessarily, but they were pointed out to you as you entered.

LIAM: Okay, well, party in room three tonight.

LAURA: Yeah!

SAM: Great.

TALIESIN: Third floor is the party floor, so.

SAM: Is there anything else we need to do? Is there anyone we need to scry on, message?

LAURA: Yeah, I was planning on scrying on...

LIAM: Did you find the provisions?

SAM: We have meat.

TALIESIN: We've got meat.

ASHLEY: We have meat. They don't really have stuff maybe for--

TALIESIN: Not meat.

ASHLEY: They don't have not-meat. We just have straight meat.

LIAM: You are looking a little green around the gills. Are you all right?

LAURA: Some change.

TALIESIN: I can also take some of the meat and grow some mushrooms.

ASHLEY: I'm feeling okay.

LIAM: Was the butcher's a little much for you?

SAM: No, the butcher was actually-- she was pretty randy.

ASHLEY: Yeah, she was--

SAM: So Caleb, you know, if you want some...

TALIESIN: Apparently the butcher was into me, too. That was a thing.

LAURA: Really?

ASHLEY: Yeah, very much so.

MARISHA: Wait, Caduceus got hit on? And I missed it?!

TALIESIN: Pretty cool. I missed it too, if it makes you feel better.

LIAM: How did you miss it? You are so perceptive.

TALIESIN: Hmm?

LIAM: You are so perceptive.

TALIESIN: Well, you know, it's-- other people are easy.

LIAM: Ah, ah, yeah, that makes sense.

MARISHA: Hmm.

TALIESIN: Yeah, didn't pick up on it. It's weird.

ASHLEY: Yeah, she was great. We got some mammoth meat and we have some wolf meat.

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Ooh.

ASHLEY: So for you guys, we need to figure out some salad.

LIAM: Wolf meat is good.

ASHLEY: Roughage.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: We can try both and decide what we like.

SAM: Yeah, we'll do a tasting.

TALIESIN: Get a little fire going.

MARISHA: Should we make a stew or something?

TALIESIN: I was thinking of doing a kebab thing.

MARISHA: Oh, that sounds great.

LAURA: A kebab?

TALIESIN: Think I've got something I can turn into a rub. It'll be good.

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughter)

TRAVIS: I just realized that maybe only worse than shopping would be cooking. (laughter) (clapping)

SAM: Let's real time role play roasting meat.

LIAM: Everybody make performance checks. (laughter)

MATT: We're not quite at 300 degrees, about five more minutes or so.

TRAVIS: I check. No no, keep the door closed.

MATT: Yeah, keep it closed. That's a couple more minutes--

LIAM: Roll to see if it collapses.

MATT: -- to the final time for it.

TALIESIN: Especially fun if you have to build the oven out of clay.

SAM: Oh god, no!

LAURA: Oh god!

TRAVIS: Please no.

MATT: That's what high level cleric spells are for.

LAURA: I am going to scry again.

MATT: On?

LAURA: Molly.

MATT: On Molly? Okay.

TRAVIS: You want to head back to our room?

LAURA: Yeah, sure, might as well.

TRAVIS: Okay.

SAM: Is there anything else we need to do? No, right?

TRAVIS: We don't know yet.

LAURA: I'm sure there's something, but we're not doing it.

SAM: All right, I'll go back to the room.

MATT: You guys got here mid day or so and wandering around, figuring things out, it's starting to get to dusk.

SAM: Great.

MATT: And meals are about to be prepared or what little bit of food is being prepared for your arrival is starting to be gathered downstairs. So as you guys walk into the fort, you can see now Lady Vess has already taken a seat. There's this one elevated table that's apart from all the rest of the tables in the chamber. It's placed on what was once a little storage platform that's been cleared and it's been-- it's noticeably more polished and clean and trying to be more of a presentory space for an esteemed member of the Assembly. So by comparison, it looks leaps and bounds above anything else in the chamber, but it's still pretty ramshackle. It's no Tri-Spires of Zadash, mind you. But if you guys would like to eat, you may.

SAM: Yeah, do it.

MATT: All right. As you can see, a number of other individuals that work within the fort begin to gather and take their seats and meal. Dagen Underthorn goes ahead and makes his way to his own table and sits a bit, having this thick hock of roast of some beast and just sits there and tears into it while keeping an eye on the rest of you And notices when you're looking over and gives a thumbs up. You see bits and chunks of meat in his beard.

LAURA: Do I see Keylen?

MATT: You do not see Keylen here, no.

LAURA: I made a friend.

TRAVIS: You did?

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: Where, outside?

LAURA: Mm-hmm, he helped me build a snowman.

TRAVIS: He helped you build a snowman?

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: Oh.

LAURA: But I also found out about Icehaven?

TRAVIS: You found out more?

LAURA: Well, something about storm giants? Did I hear that right?

MATT: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: Storm giants?

LAURA: Yeah, they're blocking the trade route or something.

TRAVIS: In the water or on the land?

LAURA: In the land?

MATT: You gathered it was probably in the water.

LAURA: In the water.

MATT: They're actually beneath the waves, and you would know this in your travels, like storm giants, some societies of storm giants are just beneath the waves.

TRAVIS: Very bad.

LAURA: Oh wow.

TRAVIS: Very, very, very world ending, your day wrecker bad.

LAURA: Oh, well then, it's good we didn't go there.

TRAVIS: Very much so.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: That's not where we're going, is it?

LAURA: I don't think so.

SAM: Do you have a map? Where is it?

TRAVIS: I do. It's over here.

SAM: No, I mean where's Icehaven?

TRAVIS: It's up.

SAM: Oh shit, okay.

LAURA: It's over there.

MATT: Icehaven's on the southwestern edge of the Dwendalian Empire.

SAM: Oh.

MATT: Of the Dwendalian Empire.

TRAVIS: Yep, wrong map. Just enjoying this one. (laughter) Enjoying this one.

LIAM: Cap'n!

TRAVIS: Good map. Good map.

LAURA: Good map, solid map.

TRAVIS: You just go on, do your stuff.

MATT: But it's fun to just stare at you in silence.

TRAVIS: (nervous yelp)

LAURA: Had we heard about Icehaven before?

TRAVIS: There it is, yep.

MATT: You've probably heard of it in passing. You would know about it more than anybody, you and Beauregard. Possibly you as well, Veth, somewhat, but it's the northwestern-most trade post city within the Empire. It's an older town.

TRAVIS: North of Pride's Call.

MATT: Yeah. It's one of the older towns that was originally established--

TRAVIS: Over here.

MATT: -- when the Zemni Fields were first settled into the early stages of the Dwendalian Empire. But it's-- it's a very-- it's a very rough and tumble frozen coast town in the Dwendalian empire. And normally the-- and the only port town in the Empire, because the rest of it is landlocked. So generally a lot of, you know, anything that needs shipping towards Tal'Dorei or any areas westward, they would try and make their way through the Frigid Depths on the north side and then head westward and technically, it would be a much straighter shot from the Empire to Eiselcross. But apparently this is an issue.

LIAM: A problem. And we're the fringe, right? This is the barest edge of what could be considered the Empire at this point?

MATT: Yes, and this isn't even part of the Empire, technically. This is just-- this post is Empire territory being held by the interest of the Cerberus Assembly.

TRAVIS: Balenpost?

MATT: Balenpost, yeah.

LIAM: This is the thing.

LAURA: Got it.

TRAVIS: So did we pass Tyre-- Taergoss? Taergoss?

MATT: You would have, yeah.

TRAVIS: Cool. If we'd been able to see past the mist.

MATT: Yep.

TRAVIS: Yep.

MATT: Sorry about that.

TRAVIS: No apologies.

MATT: But as you guys are in here, you begin to find a place to eat or a table to make yourselves. And then you watch as a person comes up to your table and goes, "Sorry to bother you, but Lady Vess DeRogna is requesting you actually join her at her table."

LAURA: The high one?

MATT: And points over and you can see now the table where she's at, they push two more tables up and there's some chairs being assembled right now. And as you look over, she just gives a finger wave like.

SAM: Oh, okay.

TRAVIS: Damn.

LAURA: Cool.

TALIESIN: Apparently a little pomp and circumstance.

SAM: She's paying by the way. Let's establish this before we walk over there. We can offer once, but she's paying.

LAURA: I think... okay.

LIAM: This is probably--

SAM: We'll offer to be polite. But then she'll say, no, no, no. And we leave it at that. We don't try to push.

LAURA: (giggling) Okay.

TRAVIS: That's a courtesy thing, offering once and then, "You pay."

SAM: Yeah, we offer, we offer. But it's her, she's doing it.

ASHLEY: Why would you offer it if you're not going to do it?

SAM: It's polite.

ASHLEY: But what if you say we'll do it and then--

TRAVIS: She says yes.

SAM: Then she is horrible.

ASHLEY: Oh.

SAM: She needs to say, "No, no, no, I got this."

TRAVIS: Seems like opening a window for--

LAURA: Aren't you supposed to offer again, though, after that?

SAM: You are, but this time we're not because she should really pay.

LIAM: Technically, I think this is part of our per diem, so it's probably covered already.

TRAVIS: This feels like compounding rules.

TALIESIN: I just assume everyone splits their check. Isn't that the way it's done?

LAURA: Can we just go? Let's just fucking sit down.

SAM: Let's go sit down.

MATT: All right. (laughter)

LIAM: Always tip nine percent.

TALIESIN: Save me.

MATT: You can see some of the individuals are scrambling to gather matching or at least somewhat nicer utensils and drink receptacles in comparison to what Vess has already placed before her. And as you guys eventually find this-- it's when you ever go into your kitchen and you realize you've bought multiple dish sets over the years, but you've lost half of each. So now it's just this mishmash that doesn't match anything. Your table is just a kaleidoscope of weird, gathered implements.

LIAM: Oh yeah, that's my house.

MATT: Yeah, there you go. But there is a-- three wine bottles have been procured and opened and drinks are being poured and meals are being gathered as Vess, sitting there at her seat, she takes her wineglass. "Well, welcome to Eiselcross, eh?"

TRAVIS: Happy to be here.

MATT: "Quite the journey. I heard from the captain, Kem, that there was quite a bit of business during the trek, yes?"

TRAVIS: It was indeed a bit more than I think even we anticipated. The weather out here is (laughter) choice.

MATT: "Oh, it's only going to get better. But I was both surprised and impressed that I was not called for nor required to take care of such a encounter. And as such, you prove once again to be as useful as I hoped you would be."

MARISHA: Oh, we just didn't think that would be your kind of fun.

MATT: "I don't get to see action too very often, but I do like that I don't have to do too much if I don't need to. As those of the arcane pursuit would know, sometimes it's best to keep your most important reserves at the ready."

LIAM: Yes, you never want to squander them on frivolous things.

MATT: "Indeed." (laughter)

MATT: As she pours your cup.

TRAVIS: As she sees the two imprints of people out in the snow.

LIAM: Looney Tunes, like a Jester hole in the snowbank outside.

MATT: "So, Dagen is a very accomplished explorer and will taking us through and northward around the outskirts of the river, River of Flame."

LAURA: Fire ring.

TRAVIS: What?

MATT: "There will be a required crossing of it. But thankfully I have the ability to negate that challenge when we reach it."

LAURA: Like you can make us fly or you can make it cold or you make a bridge or you can just--

MATT: "Well, it's far too wide for me to turn-- oh, the thing is nearly a mile across."

LAURA: Oh.

SAM: Wow.

LAURA: That's a lot.

TRAVIS: It's a big river.

MATT: "But flight and such things I can take care of."

LIAM: How many times have you made the journey before?

MATT: "Only once."

LIAM: Oh.

MATT: "Which is why Dagen will be so necessary for this, but then not too far beyond then, we will make our way to the primary excavation site. Then we shall to see what we find."

MARISHA: How many days are you anticipating this journey?

MATT: "With Dagen's aid and without any serious issues? I imagine this will take us about a week and a half."

TRAVIS: It's a big ass map.

TALIESIN: Without serious issues.

MATT: "Well, it is a dangerous place. That is why I brought you along with me."

TALIESIN: Two weeks.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

SAM: And just in case we need to make a quick getaway for whatever reasons, no teleporting is allowed around here?

MATT: You see the expression on her face turn a little, a little anxious, and she goes, "I mean, it is possible. It is just, it's a dangerous roll of the dice, you would say."

SAM: I've not heard that term before.

LAURA: What could happen if you, if it went wrong? If it went poorly?

MATT: "Well, sometimes it can send you to a place you have no idea where it intended to bring you. It could drop you in the middle of nowhere or it can tear you apart."

SAM: Oh!

MARISHA: You sound as if you're speaking like you've seen this.

MATT: "I have."

MARISHA: Ah, yeah.

MATT: "I made my first journey away from Eiselcross through these means, even with the warnings that were placed before me, but no one likes to believe that they themselves have to play by the same rules, but it proved to be challenging. I survived, thankfully, but there are those before me that have not. And some that have just never been found. So it can be done, but I would ensure that it is a last possible measure."

TALIESIN: That's teleportation magic, what about other magic? Does magic get weird across the board or--

MATT: "It can. Most magic here in Eiselcross functions as intended, but sometimes there are abnormalities, bursts of unexpected after-effects that can cause issues for yourself or whoever is the subject of your magical fiddling."

LIAM: How frequent a phenomenon is that?

MATT: "Not too terribly frequent, but it has been known to happen on occasion."

LAURA: This music is great here.

SAM: Yeah, is there a player?

MATT: There is, actually, you can see there's-- Which, for the record, while the music here is good, the band playing in-world: not as good. You get the sense that there isn't a usual, like, band of musicians, but there are people that have been brought together because of the presence of the Archmage of Antiquity from the Cerberus Assembly and forced to perform.

MARISHA: "Jim plays bass."

MATT: Yeah, kind of. (laughter) And so they're all a bunch of just rough-looking people that work here that are all forced to play together and they're kind of jamming and it's not quite working, but you know, it's better than awkward silence and chewing noises, so.

TRAVIS: (strings plucking) Family in a rock band.

LAURA: You should play some bagpipe with them.

TRAVIS: Who are you speaking to? (laughter)

MATT: "But we do have quite a journey ahead of us. I would recommend before the night is out to speak a bit with Mr. Underthorn and between your group and him, best understand what we may have awaiting us on this journey."

SAM: Where is he?

MATT: She points over to the table where he's still sitting. He's finished most of his meal, but he's now on his fourth cup of spirits.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: And it looks like he's just looking over the table, just patting his stomach. "(burps)"

TRAVIS: Doing good, doing good.

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: How will we know when we've done what we're supposed to do? Are you looking for something particular?

MATT: "When we've acquired enough remnant information of Aeor that pertains to either the recovery of powerful artifacts. I've taken rubbings of, before, of various symbols and information that was scavenged or found within the architecture there, that itself contains partial equations and information about what they were in the process of developing as well as what they used to protect the city itself."

LAURA: Oh wow.

MATT: "There are..." And you see this sparkle in her eyes as she speaks. For all the times you've known her, she's been very reserved, but you see this passion and this smile she can't quite hide. "It is incredible. All of the various things that they had done and were working to do in Aeor before the Calamity. Who knows what we could do if we were even just to understand some of it today."

LIAM: And do you have a laundry list of specifics, or are we just here until you have sated yourself with new discoveries?

MATT: "I have some ideas, but more the latter."

LAURA: Have you been to this particular structure before that we're going to?

MATT: "I've only been but maybe a small toe dip within, if you will, before it grew a bit dangerous for an individual traveling with a smaller, less accomplished group such as yourself. So it was decided to return at a later date. And at the time when I returned, after a challenging departure, as I previously explained, the conflict began to grow with the Dynasty, and the Assembly decided my focuses were required elsewhere in other types of research."

LIAM: How many of the Assembly have interest in your dealings here? Are any of them following your exploits?

MATT: "I check in, so all of them are made aware of what I'm doing to an extent."

LIAM: Do any come close to your avid interest?

MATT: "I'm not the only member that has made trek to the north, though it is my priority. And I assure them that I've got it handled, but as is the nature of such a family as ours."

LIAM: I'm curious, how goes the family these days?

MATT: "Well, it-- it maintains its balance. Everyone trusts and mistrusts each other to maintain balance. But so far so good. War was avoided outwardly, thanks to your aid as well. And now we look towards the focuses that interest us most, which is why I'm here with you."

LIAM: What of King Dwendal?

MATT: "He is informed of these interests, but we filter information as he's needed to know it. He has many things to worry about and seems to not appreciate being notified incrementally of things he's not fully deep in the understanding of it. He is less interested in ancient history and more focused in current history, which, to be honest, is how I prefer it anyway."

LIAM: So he would not be a follower of your work specifically.

MATT: "No, but I do not speak with him. All of that is brought to his attention by Ludinus when he finds it sufficient and necessary. Sometimes to just ensure that misunderstanding minds do not make rash judgment calls about things they do not understand."

LIAM: Little bit feels like we're speaking of one person.

MATT: "Perhaps. Well. Unless you have other business with me, I believe I am to make my way to my quarters."

SAM: You know what? We'll take care of dinner tonight, just as a thank you for bringing us along on this journey.

MATT: "That's surprising. This is certainly a first for anyone I've hired for a particular journey. This is very kind of you." (laughter)

SAM: It's our pleasure.

MATT: "Of course." And she takes one of the bottles of wine. "I will prepare for the rest of my evening's plans. I believe Dagen is at your disposal. Enjoy the rest of your meal, and once again, thank you."

SAM: You're welcome.

TALIESIN: Excellent. (laughter)

SAM: She didn't offer to pay!

TRAVIS: Just to be clear--

SAM: Why did you-- You just put it out there, she would have paid!

TRAVIS: Did we have to offer--

SAM: It was her duty to say, "No, no, no, I couldn't possibly accept," she didn't do that.

TRAVIS: But now we--

SAM: She's a scoundrel and we should kill her.

TRAVIS: We have to offer again now, according to your rule!

SAM: No, we don't have to offer again, that's, I mean--

LAURA: Why would we have to offer again? She already accepted!

TRAVIS: If she accepted, we have to--

TALIESIN: I can cover.

SAM: I don't care about that! I care about her being the type of person who wouldn't offer back! We offer, she offers back. That's how it works.

TALIESIN: I can completely cover.

LAURA: In her defense, I mean, she is one person and we are a lot of people.

SAM: She's the host! She's our employer!

TRAVIS: Is there any food on her table? Is it just drinks?

MATT: Oh, no, she ate a small meal.

TRAVIS: Fucking shit. (laughter) What did she have?

MATT: From what you can tell from the remnants there, there were actually, and this is hilarious, little bits of what looks like carrot.

LAURA: (gasping)

MATT: It looks like the remnants of a pretty decent dish that was prepared for her.

TRAVIS: You!

SAM: Me?!

TRAVIS: A carrot, do you have any idea how expensive that is up here?!

SAM: I'm eating it. I buy it, I'm eating it.

TRAVIS: Caduceus can't even need meat and you ate the carrot!

LIAM: She is a member of the Assembly, she probably has very little idea of cost. She probably throws out a couple of platinum for those carrots, you know, for anything. A bottle of water, here's two platinum. Is generally how it rolls.

TALIESIN: I cannot wait to see the bill.

TRAVIS: Do we pay the tab or do we just bounce?

SAM: No, we're going to pay the tab because we're nice people. I'm just saying, first she, she tortures my husband and now she doesn't cover dinner. That's two strikes. One more, I'm going off on the bitch.

TRAVIS: Okay. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Pretty sure she would have covered dinner if you hadn't said anything.

SAM: I know! (laughter) You're missing the point.

TALIESIN: I really am.

SAM: Forget it.

LAURA: I'll go down and talk to Dagen.

TRAVIS: Can we flag down someone that knows how much this all costs?

SAM: Yeah, there is one of the servers that helped set up the table who, like a lot of people here, probably runs multiple jobs. She looks a bit haggard, in her late 50s, and currently just has a leather sack over her shoulder with some supplies that she's running from the back room to bring in and start preparing for the next group of soldiers that begin coming in from their trek and turns, "Yeah, what do you want?"

TRAVIS: We're here to settle Lady Vess DeRogna's bill. Do you have any idea how much that is?

MATT: "I don't know. It's all Assembly prepared, there's no bill."

LAURA: Oh.

TRAVIS: Oh, you mean she brought it with her, or the Assembly just has a tab?

MATT: "The Assembly pays for Balenpost."

TRAVIS: Oh good, yes. We will be using that account later, thank you. I just wanted to make sure it was set up here.

MATT: Her eyes squint a bit like, you, "Who are you?"

TRAVIS: Very important person. (laughter) I say out loud, awkwardly. (laughter)

LIAM: Squirtle! (laughter)

ASHLEY: We don't pay for anything? Or just like the food here is--

LAURA: She was kind of laughing at you.

SAM: So am I the asshole then?

MARISHA: Yes. (laughter) She definitely made an asshole of you.

LIAM: Generally speaking.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we literally have a blank check.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: There were Cerberus Assembly banners the moment we walked in.

TALIESIN: I assume it's on the company card.

LIAM: It's the Assembly cafeteria.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

SAM: Well, I'm glad I offered.

TRAVIS: A great gesture.

SAM: We look better now.

LAURA: Yeah yeah.

LIAM: By the way, did you try the Cerberus fries? They're delicious.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah.

LAURA: We seem like very ill-informed, nice people.

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: That's what we're going for.

LIAM: That's one for two.

SAM: They'll never suspect. All right.

LAURA: Dagen?

MARISHA: Dagen.

MATT: All right. So you head over to Dagen's table and he's he's sitting there with a large, heavy tankard at the table and lantern on the edge of his table right now is framing his face and somewhat greasy beard as you approach and he wipes it down a bit. Takes a piece out, chews it. "Hey, so... What can I do for you?"

LAURA: So... What are we going to do, what are we going to see, what have you fought?

MATT: "(chuckling)" He rubs the side of his mustache and some piece of meat large enough comes falling out, it goes (boofs) on the table, he's like, "I've been doing this for quite some time. Never did like too much of the Uthodurnians, so I found a better chance for gold on this side of Eiselcross. And let me tell you, there's some mean shit out there."

TRAVIS: That's exciting. We've heard tale that the storm giants are holding up trade routes in the waters around here. Those don't happen to be on the main land, do they?

MATT: "No, no, that's far south and outside of my prerogative here. Here in Eiselcross specifically (hiccups), you find, let's see here, we got a whole shit ton of yeti."

LAURA: Whoa.

MATT: "We got ice salamanders, and they're nasty things. We got mammoths, heaps of mammoths which tend to draw other things out as well. There are troll mutations up the wazoo. We got a whole host of nomadic frost giants that wander the outskirts of the plains here, not to mention the freaky cursed frost giant castle place far north, but just-- we're not going that far, we'll be good."

TRAVIS: What-- what-- what castle place?

MARISHA: Frost giant castle?

TRAVIS: I pull out the map and look.

MATT: "It's further north than that, don't worry about it."

TRAVIS: North of Aeor and Fort--

MATT: "Yeah, yeah, yeah.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: "Some Jarl or something."

TALIESIN: The castle is cursed or the frost giants are cursed? Or is it both of them are cursed?

MATT: "I think he's kind of a shared thing."

LIAM: But not on the path that you are taking us on.

MATT: "No, no."

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: "There's hunter gnolls, we got polar bears, remorhazes."

MARISHA: Rem-- remorhazes?

MATT: "Yeah."

LAURA: What are rammer-- remorhazes?

LIAM: The big bug centipede, we fought one of those once.

MATT: "Giant insectoid thing, many pinchers, big eyes burrows through the ground."

LAURA: I didn't know the name of it.

MATT: "Oh, there's also Ol' Demarog."

SAM and MARISHA: Demorog?

MATT: "Ol' Demarog."

SAM: Ol' Demarog?

MARISHA: Wait, do you call-- is his title Ol' Demarog?

MATT: "It's his name, it's what we call him. It's what the local legends say."

MARISHA: Is a demorog what he is or his title?

MATT: "It's his name."

MARISHA: What is he then?

LIAM: Have you crossed paths with him?

MATT: "There are many wolves that hunt the realms here. And there are some wolves that have been mutated by the magics of Eiselcross to really embody the dangers of the frost they live in. And then amongst those wolves, there's one, one that leads them all, they say. Kind of a ghost of a massive feral beast. His breath itself is the very life-sucking anger of winter. That's Ol' Demarog. If you hear a howl that shakes you to the very soul, you run. (hiccups)"

LAURA: (giggles)

SAM: Is that a true thing or it just--

MATT: "I've never seen him."

SAM: Oh, okay.

MATT: "But I hear about it all the time."

LIAM: Of the things that you have seen, what is the worst and what is the most common?

MATT: "Most common around these parts? You're probably likely to find some wandering yeti. There's a whole heaping society of them northwest of here. (belches) There's some, uh... some of them white pack gnolls tend to go out here hunting, as well, we keep an eye out for them. They tend to be ambushers, trappers and such. They're a problem. (sniffs)"

MARISHA: We've dealt with a lot of regular gnolls.

SAM: (laughs)

MATT: "Regular gnolls, regular gnolls, yeah yeah yeah. These are a little more, these are a little more frosty. I mean that both in a comical sense and a literal, like--"

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: "The harsh environment's forged a better, greater gnoll."

TALIESIN: Frosty gnoll.

MATT: "Frosty gnolls, if you will."

TALIESIN: Frosty gnoll.

MATT: "(hiccups) (sniffs)"

LAURA and MARISHA: Okay.

SAM: Anything else we need to prepare for tomorrow? Or are we good?

MATT: "Can you all fight?"

SAM: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: "Good."

LAURA: When does the magic started getting weird, though? Is it only inside the buildings or it's all over the place?

MATT: "I don't know, I'm not much of a magic person myself. Most thing I have around me is this thing," and he taps the chair a bit and goes, "And even that's just for a smaller purposes. I don't know. More, better luck talking to your hiring mistress there."

LAURA: Right, right, right.

MARISHA: That chair looks very impressive, by the way.

MATT: "Thank you."

MARISHA: Very... very trustworthy chair, that one. Where'd you get it?

MATT: "It's Uthodurnian make."

MARISHA: Huh?

MATT: "Uthodurnian make."

MARISHA: Uthodurnian make.

LAURA: Oh yeah! We've been there.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: "Oh, have you? Pain in the ass, isn't it?"

LAURA: Yeah, but they have a good bakery.

MATT: "You're not wrong."

SAM: And that chair of yours can go over rugged terrain like we'll be doing tomorrow?

MATT: "It's outfitted for it, don't worry."

SAM: Nice.

MARISHA: That's awesome.

MATT: "In fact, I hope you all can keep up."

SAM: We'll do our best.

MARISHA: What's your weapon of choice?

MATT: "Oh." He reaches back behind the chair and then (crashing) slams onto the table this battleaxe that you see this massive, thick, leather-gripped hilt this heavy, dark, acid-scarred metal head to it that is now buried about three inches into the table. As he holds it there, you can see the forearm bulging and his massive, dwarven, war-cut muscles.

SAM: Cool.

MARISHA: All right, yeah, that's a sufficient answer.

TALIESIN: That'll do it.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LIAM: That's a lot of bicep.

MATT: "Her name's Sheila."

MARISHA: Sheila.

TRAVIS: The name is Sheila?

SAM: The axe?

TRAVIS: All hail Sheila.

MARISHA: All hail Sheila!

MATT: "Godsdamned right."

LAURA: Did you know someone named Sheila?

MATT: "No, just sounded like a fun name for an axe."

LAURA: Insight check.

MATT: Make an insight check. (laughter)

LIAM: Yeah, is that an ax or an ex?

LAURA: Nyah. (humming) 12.

MATT: 12. You get the sense he's kind of an open book.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: And he speaks the truth. He just thought it was a cool name for an axe and named it Sheila.

TRAVIS: Yep. I like this one, I like him a lot.

SAM: Well, I guess we'll go get some shut eye.

MATT: "Just make sure you've got your weapons ready. It looks like you're mostly ready to dress warm. I'd say bring some extra blankets if you're planning to sleep out in the open. It's real... It's real cold at night."

SAM: All right, all right.

MATT: "Not everyone's got a Sheila to keep them warm."

MARISHA: Oh. Um... I was going to ask another question, but now I'm thrown. Wha-- wh-- First time you went out, what's one thing you wish someone would have told you?

MATT: "Good question, good, good question. (sighs) Sometimes scavenging isn't worth what you find."

TRAVIS: Ooh.

SAM: A philosophy.

MARISHA: Okay. Many tempting scavenging sites?

MATT: “Well, let's just say a lot of folk haven't made the journey. And there's some smarter dangers out there that like to use them as a... a beacon for their quarry. But to be fair, I haven't checked any of the bodies. So there might be something really worth on 'em still, but." (laughter) "I'm just, you know, better safe than sorry."

MARISHA: Right.

MATT: "You understand?"

MARISHA: That's good advice, thank you.

MATT: "Right." (sniffs) You, um..."

SAM: Well, good night.

MATT: He points to his cup, just like...

SAM: Oh yeah, we'll buy you another drink.

MATT: "Oh, it's too kind of you.

SAM: You know what? Everything's on us tonight, your whole dinner tonight. It's on us.

TRAVIS: Veth!

SAM: (quietly) Well, I mean, it's free, right? (laughter)

MATT: "Much obliged. I appreciate it, y'all rest well, have yourself a good night and midday tomorrow, we're looking to start shoving off. So get all your shit together 'cause we ain't coming back for a while."

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: All hail Sheila.

MATT: "(laughs) All hail Sheila." Puts his fist out. (crashing) (laughter)

TRAVIS: His knuckles have--

MATT: "All right, fill 'er up!" And he shakes it in the air. And you hear the faint bit of sloshing backwash in the inside of the metallic interior. What do you want to do?

SAM: Go to bed.

LAURA: Room three is where it's at.

SAM: Did you want to scry?

LAURA: Yes.

SAM: Okay.

LIAM: Yeah, but we need to do that before going to the party palace.

LAURA: Yeah, I'm going to do that when we get into the rooms.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: The party palace?

LAURA: I'll scry on Molly.

MATT: Okay, you guys head to the inside of your rooms, they are on par with the roughest rooms you ordered in Rosohna. But they're functional and they're warm. Warmer than the outside. The whole place seems to be at least fairly well insulated. Yeah, so you settle in there, you get your supplies together You guys gather and you go ahead, you said you want to scry on Molly? Okay. Pardon me, Ivan.

TRAVIS: I'm going to scry on Taliesin's face.

SAM: Scry on Ivan.

LIAM: He's, Ivan's so little.

MATT: Well look, quarantine's affected us all in different ways.

TALIESIN: I'm working on spells right now. I'm just setting up tomorrow.

SAM: You guys, Ashley's gone. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Guys, can you see me? (startled yelling) You can hear me, you can't see me?

SAM: Oh, you moved a little and now I can see you.

ASHLEY: Can you see my arms? (laughter)

MATT: So.

TALIESIN: Disturbing.

MATT: As you set up your ritual in the room to go ahead and close your eyes and focus on your friend, Molly. And you close your eyes and you feel the presence of a familiar figure appear across the circle from where you're sitting currently leans in and places his hand over yours and goes, "Well, let's keep tabs on your mysterious stranger, shall we?"

LAURA: (giggles)

MATT: As you close your eyes, you feel like-- even though his hands are touching yours, you feel this extension of his magic pluck your consciousness from you and alley-oop it upwards into darkness. And you feel yourself suddenly floating. You find yourself inside a warmly lit chamber. You see a figure moving in a familiar fur lined coat, the same that you saw Mollymauk wearing, or at least the figure that you saw in your previous scry is currently pulling through different boxes and satchels and is carefully but quickly looting the contents of this room before turning around and you see the tattoo, the familiar peacock tattoo on the neck. You see this flash in the red eye that's nestled within the tattoo begins to emit a dull red light. As it does, you watch as the purple tiefling's eyes meet the beacon that you're seeing through and goes, "Oh, well lookie here. A return visitor. Now, don't get running, you've curiosity to sate, right? I take it you're the one who's been peeking recently. I have to thank you, for without your scent, I wouldn't have been able to follow her." He keeps looking through things. "Now, don't be alarmed. I see many things with mine eyes. Been trying to watch this one's path a while now until you found me. Saw the threads and we made a detour. Shame really, all that knowledge and so little understanding. Ah!" And you see from off-- off the-- the actual scry beacon's location, he darts off and returns with a collection of papers, like a binderless book, just all stitched together with no front and back, just this heavy collection of old parchment looking worn and withered with age. He passes through a bit. You see his eyes going wide with a smile on his face and he turns back to you. "But you see now things are set right. Once more, I have what she took from me." And you see him dart just beyond the range of it. And it follows his direction as he comes to an open window with a frozen snowfall outside and he steps through it and looks back at you, framed in this lightless, dark night sky. “To alpha and alpha we trek 'til homeward bound we be. (chuckles) Maybe we'll see you there." And he ducks out the window and then does this. (snaps) And as he does that, your scry ends.

SAM: What?!

LAURA: What the fuck was that? Artie, what was that?

MATT: "That was very strange indeed."

LAURA: Have you ever seen anyone do anything like that?

MATT: "I mean, there are ways individuals can look through such scrying spells. It's not a perfect art, necessarily."

LAURA: He said there's a benefit to having nine eyes.

MATT: "Well, I imagine you probably can see more around you with nine eyes, yes."

LAURA: We're talking about the Nine Eyes, Nona-- The Eyes of Nine! You think they're connected?

MATT: "I wasn't there, I was just helping you do it. I didn't see what you saw."

LAURA: You didn't see it?

MATT: "No, I was helping you do it."

LAURA: Oh my god, I thought you were looking at everything, too! This whole time, every time we scry, you don't actually scry? You just let me scry?

MATT: "Yes!"

LAURA: Oh, that's really nice of you.

MATT: "I trust in your power. You've proven it time and time again."

LAURA: Wow. You guys! I tell them everything I saw.

SAM: What does that mean, "to alpha and alpha"? Is that what you said?

LAURA: Homeward, home--

TRAVIS: "Homeward bound we be."

ASHLEY: "Until homeward bound we be."

LIAM: And he saw you right away.

LAURA: He saw me right away.

TRAVIS: Whose scent? Her scent? Vess?

LAURA: Who knows?

LIAM: Maybe.

SAM: Cree? Or someone else? Something about she stole something from me and now I have it back, is that what he said?

MARISHA: The book.

LAURA: I bet that's Vess.

MARISHA: The book, I bet Vess stole some sort of ritual papers or book or--

LIAM: She worked with them.

MARISHA: -- and then got it back.

LAURA: Molly's like an old, old, old soul.

LIAM: She stole from them.

SAM: That's the book!

LAURA: I bet he's been around for forever. I bet he's as old as the Bright Queen!

MARISHA: Maybe the book was a copy and maybe he went back for the original parchment.

SAM: Wait, so-- There's a book that he has now that Vess took from him?

MARISHA: Yeah, remember when we were talking to Cree and she was like, "Oh, we had that book and we had that woman and that woman stole the book from us."

SAM: But now he's got it back. How did he get it back?

MARISHA: What she just said.

LAURA: He didn't tell me!

MARISHA: Vess was just talking about coming back here to get-- to get rubbings of original spells and original things. Maybe he came back to the source.

TRAVIS: He was in a warm place, right? Not outside. No sense of cold.

LAURA: He was in a chamber.

LIAM: Yeah. And you said he was on a detour? Ja, he mentioned that?

MARISHA: What does that mean?

LAURA: What does it mean that he my scrying scent--

MARISHA: He followed her scent?

LAURA: My scrying allowed him to--

TRAVIS: Thought we were chasing him.

LIAM: Well, his sight is true, yeah? He has those eyes all over his body. He could see you, he could see the way you sometimes can.

LAURA: He couldn't see who I was, no, but he saw--

LIAM: But he knew someone was there.

SAM: And he said that the act of you scrying on him helped him get his stuff back or helped him on his current path?

LAURA: That's what it sounded like he said. I couldn't tell, his accent was way stronger than it used to be.

TRAVIS: (snorts)

SAM: Oh, really? Was it pretty legit? Was it pretty legit, though?

TRAVIS: Oh, let's get some Solarcaine for that burn! (laughter)

LIAM: Is it even the same guy?

TRAVIS: (laughs) Yeah.

SAM: It must've been a different guy because of the consistency.

LIAM: Yeah. (laughter)

MARISHA: What if it was when we scryed on Cree?

LAURA: Maybe?

MARISHA: Connective tissue.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Maybe, but motherfucker has Truesight. He's going to be hard to sneak up on.

LAURA: I don't want to scry on him anymore. We should have just messaged him. I should have just sent him a message.

SAM: You still can. I don't know what you would say.

LAURA: What the fuck does "to alpha, to alpha and homeward bound we be" mean?

TRAVIS: Well, we should ask Vess and see what her reaction is.

LAURA: Oh yeah, we should just say it to her.

MARISHA: What if she's the alpha?

SAM: She's not going to tell us shit, we can't trust her.

TRAVIS: "To alpha and alpha"? Is that what it was?

MATT: That's what it was.

MARISHA: To, from? Was it-- "To alpha and alpha," yeah.

MATT: "We trek 'til homeward bound we be."

MARISHA: "We trek 'til homeward bound we be."

SAM: We're all writing this down like it's going to mean something.

TRAVIS: It is! It always does!

MARISHA: Bound--

LIAM: To market, to market.

MARISHA: -- we be. So he believes that wherever he's going, wherever this is, that that's some sort of homecoming?

TALIESIN: It's the beginning.

MARISHA: What do you mean?

TALIESIN: To alpha and alpha, homeward bound. You're going back.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Maybe to the city?

LIAM: At the very least, he seems further along in digging up secrets here than Lady DeRogna.

TRAVIS: It is unnerving that we were following him and he seems to now be somehow following us or we've revealed something.

LAURA: Oops.

TRAVIS: What scent? What scent?

LAURA: I don't know. I've never had anyone talk to me through a scry before.

MARISHA: Did we ever scry on him near Vess? Is it something like that, did we ever--

TRAVIS: I cast See Invisibility.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Looking all around the room. Anything.

MATT: Make a perception check.

TRAVIS: Nipple tassels! Nice. 19.

MATT: 19. At the moment, no, you don't see anything. Nothing out of the ordinary.

TRAVIS: (impacts) I kick the door open, hallway.

MATT: You look left to right, nobody in the hallway.

TRAVIS: Any windows?

MATT: No, the heat would escape otherwise.

TRAVIS: It's clear.

MATT: Yeah, all the windows would be higher up in the fort from what you saw.

TRAVIS: That's true.

LIAM: Caleb jams Calianna's wand into the earthy floor of this room and begins to do the casting for the tower.

MARISHA: While he's doing that, is there anything I can do? Is there anything that, from Jester's story that jogs anything in my memory? From notes, from the past?

MATT: Make an investigation check for me.

TRAVIS: Roll above a 19.

MARISHA: All right, don't fuck this up.

TRAVIS: Getting into some next level shit here.

MARISHA: Don't fuck this up. Don't fuck-- okay, all right, all right, all right.

SAM: You need to inspire yourself with some bagpipe. You get a plus six to every roll.

LIAM: Negative three.

MARISHA: 26.

TRAVIS: Somebody else?

MARISHA: Yes, 26.

MATT: You're hard pressed to be too far from the trail in regards to some of the pieces you're putting together. The book that was referred to in Lucien's past and the book that Jester seems to have seen him recover, it would seem to be-- Couldn't just be a coincidence. "To alpha and alpha we trek 'til homeward bound we be." It could be one long sentence or the cadence in which it was spoken, it could be "to alpha and alpha we trek, 'til homeward bound we be." But there's probably something to that phrase. Like he wants to be followed.

MARISHA: Like he wants to be followed.

LAURA: What does it mean? "Alpha and alpha we trek."

TRAVIS: Who gave this map to us again?

MATT: That was given to you by Vess.

TRAVIS: There are lots of As with numbers on this map.

SAM: Really?

TRAVIS: Yeah, there's an A2, A5. An A?, an A4, and then--

MARISHA: Oh, that's right.

TRAVIS: Aeor is the big red dot.

SAM: Aeor is spelled...

TRAVIS: A-E-O-R.

MATT: You do know that other locations on it that are marked with A are considered smaller excavations where other, smaller chunks of Aeor scattered and fell like meteors as the main city crashed into Eiselcross.

SAM: The one that's marked A2, is that close to Aeor Prime?

TRAVIS: It is slightly further north than Aeor, but further west.

LIAM: So maybe his detour is along those lines.

SAM: Alpha and alpha.

MARISHA: Yeah,

SAM: A2.

TRAVIS: We could pass A5 on the way to a river-- lava river crossing.

MARISHA: But once again that might not necessarily be connected. Caduceus had an interesting point. Maybe it's from a city to city. Or it could be from a past to a present-type of thing. I don't know. "To alpha and alpha we trek." All right.

SAM: I feel like at least visiting A2 might be worth a shot.

TRAVIS: It's further away, but yeah.

SAM: We'll just teleport there.

LAURA: I wonder if Lady de Rogna would know anything about the terms.

SAM: She's not going to tell us shit.

LAURA: She might know something about-- she's told us a lot.

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: I mean--

LIAM: What is home? Is home his home? Is Aeor his home?

TALIESIN: It's the flying city.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: Oh man. How is he connected to-- oh man.

TRAVIS: Sleep?

SAM: Yep.

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: The door shimmers up from the ground and you all see stained glass peeping out. And I summon Frumpkin as a cat and say: You are the best boy, you are the house cat. You are the head cat, go and run things. And I give him a little pat on the tush and he runs in. And everybody sees him float, spiral up into the tower.

SAM: (yowling)

MATT: All right. Your evening's tower is prepared.

SAM: Ah, so warm.

LIAM: 78 degrees.

MATT: So your chambers are at the ready. If there's anything you want to accomplish before a night's sleep, now's the time to pipe up or we will go ahead and move on to the next morning.

TRAVIS: Let's do it.

LIAM: No, I knock on Veth's door through the study.

MATT: Nice try, Travis.

LIAM: Yeah, we're going to cook. (laughter)

SAM: Oh, hello, Caleb, welcome to my room.

LIAM: Hello, buddy. You know, before we hit the sack, the thing that you've done for so long, that was so charming for so long-- I've never really been a leader in any sense. When this group got together, I let them think they were the leader and I did whatever the fuck I wanted to do.

SAM: Good leadership decision right there.

LIAM: Now, much like you implored from me back in the Empire, these are all our friends, mine, yours. We trust them implicitly.

SAM: We do. Finally.

LIAM: It's more of an ensemble, you know? I am not a leader, I have never been a leader.

SAM: Well, you know, there's different ways to lead. Some people, you know, lead with an iron fist, like King Dwendal, or through fear and mystery, like the Bright Queen. Fjord is very commanding or tries to be with his puny frame, on the deck of his ship. And you lead through sort of soft power, you know? Look, we're on this journey because of you. We came north because of you. We came to Rexxentrum because of you. And I don't say it like it's a bad thing, like you're conniving or taking us on your journey. I feel like you are leading this team because as we journey, you open your heart more and more. And in doing so, we're brought along for the ride. You're sort of showing us the way, showing us how you have become more open to new points of view and experiences and even looking into your own past and and confronting old demons, even across the dinner table. And that's very-- that takes a lot of bravery and courage, and hopefully, it's inspired some of these other folks to do it too.

LIAM: Ja, but listen to me. In the beginning, when we were traveling together, I was from side to side, top to bottom, a mess and I think you were trying to give me a bit of confidence and help me get back on my feet. I have confidence. I am back on my feet. And I have surrounded myself with experts in their fields, very accomplished people. And I am confident to rely on them and not lead. I don't want to be a leader, I never have, but helping, I like, and confidence, I enjoy. So... you have done me a great kindness and bolstered my resolve. You've helped bring me back into my own and now I'm here. So let's just be here. And be here. I made this place for you so that you could stay with us, and see your husband and child, but also be with me and be with them. It's a circle. There's nine of us and nothing is going to break that.

SAM: Yes.

LIAM: Go with it, go with it.

SAM: Yes, yes, yes.

LIAM: I'm the leader.

SAM: (chuckles) I'm all about it, and if we can really truly be together and I can bring my family along for the ride sometime. I mean, that's the dream. I hope we can sustain it. That's all I've wanted for a while now, and it sounds like you do, too. So yeah, we'll live in the now and we'll just-- we'll be the Nein. No leader, it's a round table.

LIAM: Yep, nine sides, all equal, all nine of us.

SAM: I'm glad that you've led me to that conclusion.

LIAM: This is a work in progress, our family is a work in progress but I have faith and I'm not even one of the clerics. All right, that's it, sorry.

SAM: Well, in the morning. See you soon. Can you call Frumpkin to get me some hot cocoa for bed?

LIAM: Frumpkin? It is too pedestrian for Frumpkin.

SAM: Well, I don't know the pecking order of your pussies around here. I mean, some-- we send the cat, I don't know. What do I do? Do I clap? Do I meow?

LIAM: Well, you pull the ribbon over by your fireplace.

SAM: Oh, that's what that's for.

LIAM: Mm-hm.

SAM: Dinky dink.

MATT: You watch as a small-- a series of smaller, semi spectral-looking arcane cats, arrive and begin to wrap around your legs, in a figure eight motion going-- (meows) Then they look up at you expectantly.

LIAM: Ah, Pepper, you're just the one for this job. What would you--

MATT: (meows)

SAM: Hot cocoa with marshmallows.

LIAM: Pepper, could you get two hot cocoas with marshmallows and then grab those little-- put a little toothpick into one of the marshmallows like a little bow and then those graham crackers, you can make little wings in the other one.

MATT: (mrrps)

MATT: And with that-

LIAM: I saw Jester drawing.

SAM: Yeah, yeah.

LIAM: Art.

MATT: (whooshes) They all vanish through one of the small holes in the side of the wall.

TRAVIS: I love that sound. (whooshes)

LIAM: (sighs)

TALIESIN: There better be a cat named Salt.

SAM: To the Mighty Nein.

LIAM: To the Mighty Nein.

MATT: Within a short time, the cocoa is presented, delicious and once again marveling at just how good these cats are at making cocoa. But it is warm, it is comforting and it is delightful.

LAURA: What was the name of the books that are in our room?

LIAM: Well, there is, hold on, I don't have it memorized top to bottom.

TRAVIS: How dare you?

LAURA: I know.

LIAM: One of them was "Tusk Love."

LAURA: Yes, yes, I've read that one.

MARISHA: Few times.

LAURA: (laughs) Dramatic reading.

MATT: Yeah, paperback and Kindle. (laughter)

LIAM: Oh shit, I have to get to the first room. Tusk Love, The Courting of the Crick, Der Katzenprinz, Change and the Potentials of Transmutability, and Die Waldhexe und andere Zemnische Volksmärchen. And I will copy-paste that to you in a magical message.

LAURA: (laughs)

LAURA: Are any of those readable? (laughter)

TALIESIN: Wow.

LIAM: Well, two of them are written in Common. Two of them are written in Zemnian and one is in-- also in Common, but a very dense jargon. Arcane jargon.

LAURA: Why would he put these books in here if we can't even read them? I say to myself. (laughter)

MATT: There is no one there to respond.

LAURA: Do any of them have pretty covers?

MATT: Yeah, I mean, overall, you know, the ones that you can't read are well-presented, which makes it even more frustrating.

LIAM: And Der Katzenprinz, there's a beautiful goldleaf illustration of a cat holding a little top hat out like this, standing on two feet.

LAURA: That's so cute. I want to read it. (laughter)

MATT: We pull back slowly. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Can't you pull the ribbon?

LAURA: How will the cats be able to read it for me?

TALIESIN: They make cocoa, you never know.

LAURA: I go order some cocoa, and sit down and stare at the book.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: I feel like they could read a book to you if they can make cocoa.

TRAVIS: I think so, too.

MATT: The cocoa is delicious, if a bit marred by the frustration as you stare at this really pretty book about a cat with a hat that you can't read.

LAURA: Frustrating.

MATT: But nevertheless.

TALIESIN: Make an insight check.

MARISHA: Aww.

MATT: You all get a good night's rest. Spells prepared, long rest is completed, healed, and the morning is yours.

MARISHA: I was in bad shape all day, just bloody and beaten while we were talking to people.

TRAVIS: Oh shit, sorry.

ASHLEY: That's right!

MARISHA: Having--

TRAVIS: Nobody cares about you.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: It's been a few days since you had that fight though.

MARISHA: Has it?

TRAVIS: Has it?

MATT: Yeah, you've traveled quite a bit since then, so.

LIAM: You still got a black eye, though.

MATT: Yeah, it's still a bit bruised.

TALIESIN: Visibly not healed. (laughter)

MATT: Caduceus has refused to heal you this entire time.

TALIESIN: And Jester can't, so--

MATT: Makes you stronger. So you all gather at the base of the tower and the day is yours.

MARISHA: Now what?

LAURA: Caleb, what-- what is the point of this?

LIAM: What? That is a children's story.

LAURA: I can't even read it. It's Zemnian.

LIAM: Would you like me to read it to you sometime?

LAURA: Sure.

LIAM: Okay, I will. Now, or--?

LAURA: No, you can read it some other time.

LIAM: Okay, all right, but I will pencil it in for you, Jester.

LAURA: Thanks.

LIAM: Okay.

MARISHA: (laughs) It's good, it's good. I read it as a boy. And it's adorable. It's right up your ally, except it's in Zemnian. You have a mustache.

TRAVIS: Cocoa mustache.

LIAM: Too much hot cocoa. (laughter)

LAURA: I go wash my face before we set off for today.

MATT: Okay, okay, not an issue. As you all emerge from the tower doorway into your somewhat barren provided evening's chambers, you can already smell the fading scent of whatever morning meals were provided to the denizens of Balenpost.

LIAM: Oh, we had waffles.

MATT: Yeah, you guys had waffles. But you can smell the morning has come to a slow conclusion for the first risers of the day that keep the fort itself safe and guarded. Making your way into the same central common area where you'd had your dinner the night before, there's only about two stragglers there in the process of finishing their meal. Other than that, it's pretty much empty.

TRAVIS: Are we supposed to meet Dagen and Vess here?

MARISHA: She said about 40 hours. Are we early? Did she mean tonight?

LAURA: Well, he said midday.

MARISHA: Midday?

LAURA: He said midday today, we'd be heading out.

TRAVIS: Oh, that's true, yeah.

MARISHA: Ugh, this town is so boring.

LAURA: Well, they did have cards last night. We kind of missed it. And fighting.

LIAM: Yeah, it's not so much a town, it's just--

MARISHA: We missed fighting?

LAURA: I know. I meant to tell you guys.

TRAVIS: No, you meant to not tell her on purpose.

TALIESIN: There'll be more.

MARISHA: It's probably for the best.

LIAM: You know that shiner is finally starting to fade, so it's probably good you got a good night's sleep.

MARISHA: Thanks, I hope it stays a little longer. Looks like I have a little bit of makeup on.

TRAVIS: Yeah, how does it feel? And I poke right in it, poke right--

MARISHA: You know, it-- You know, it hurts, yeah.

TRAVIS: What if I just rub a thumb?

MARISHA: That-- it's not dirt, it is blood, it's good.

LIAM: Yeah, but it's under the surface, so.

TALIESIN: We can put some wolf or mammoth on it.

TRAVIS: Ooh yeah, just-- (claps)

MARISHA: Aw! Ah, I got blood in my eye! Ah, why?

LAURA: It's just a little blood, it's okay.

TRAVIS: Hold it there for at least, what, five, ten minutes?

TALIESIN: I don't know.

LAURA: I don't think it's good to do that anymore. It's been a few days. I don't think it's worth anything anymore.

MARISHA: It's honestly fine.

LIAM: You know what will firm that up quickly, is a bit of this bat guano.

MARISHA: Oh, what-- why?

TALIESIN: That's got to sting.

MARISHA: This feels-- this feels wrong, doesn't feel medical or proven in any way.

LIAM: Don't futz with it, and don't argue with me, I'm a doctor.

MARISHA: Ah, it's holistic shit.

MATT: (chuckles)

TRAVIS: Well, we have a few hours, what are we going to do? Jester: (singsong) Here wait for the time to go.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Pretty much.

TALIESIN: We're good to go.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Can I order, like, a bunch of bacon?

MATT: Sure, you order some bacon.

LIAM: Wolf bacon?

MATT: They don't have bacon.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: Fuck!

TRAVIS: Come on, man.

MATT: They have--

MARISHA: Pork is a luxury.

MATT: Pork is definitely a luxury on this side--

TALIESIN: If they have some grain, I'll pick up some grain. If they have something that's, like, some oatmeal kind of thing that I can just carry with me.

MATT: Yeah, you can find that. It's a little pricier than what you'd normally pay for, which isn't much necessarily, but it's still pricey for what it is. How much do you want? Like how many days?

TALIESIN: A week's worth.

MATT: A week's worth?

TALIESIN: Two weeks, if it's not a lot.

MATT: Two weeks worth? That'll put you at seven gold.

TALIESIN: Yeah, do it.

SAM: Oats.

MARISHA: While we wait, I scooch over to Yasha.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Hey, friend.

LIAM: Damn it.

MARISHA: Hey, how'd you sleep?

ASHLEY: I slept, uh-- I slept-- I slept okay. How did you sleep? Because I feel like-- I kind of heard you wrestling a little bit.

MARISHA: Oh, that-- no, I was fighting. Not-- like I was doing some sparring in that little training gym.

ASHLEY: Oh, that's a good-- I forgot, yeah, you have that. That's a good thing to, you know.

MARISHA: Good to burn off some steam, you know? Get tired.

ASHLEY: Big time.

MARISHA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Big time. Burn off that-- all that steam.

MARISHA: (nervously) Mm hm. Mm hm.

ASHLEY: How are you doing?

MARISHA: Yeah, I'm-- I'm okay. I actually feel pretty, like-- pretty driven and focused, you know, like I'm on like a--

ASHLEY: Like on a mission.

MARISHA: On a mission, yeah. Kind of obsessed right now.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I have to say. You've figured out a lot of stuff. It's just amazing how your mind works, and I'm really proud of how you did all that and connected a lot of things.

MARISHA: Yeah, you know, broken clock.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: Right a couple times, you know?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: It's fine, but no, it's good. I feel like I've found my calling in a weird way.

ASHLEY: I think you have, I mean, it really suits you very well to do what you're doing.

MARISHA: Thanks, man. I just wanted to check in because, like, several weeks ago, when we were having that dinner with Ludinus-- no, sorry, it was Trent. We've had so many weird interactions with so many stuffy wizards--

ASHLEY: So many stuffy wizards, oh my god.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, I hate them. I really hate them all.

ASHLEY: Caleb's, like, the only one--

MARISHA: (stammering) Yeah, right?!

ASHLEY: He's the only one. You know, it's a different vibe.

MARISHA: Right, do you think one day, he's going to, like, be a stuffy wizard?

ASHLEY: I sure hope not, but I even think if he would be, he'd still be cool and fun and not like--

MARISHA: Not like that.

ASHLEY: Not like that.

MARISHA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: We won't let him be like that.

MARISHA: I agree.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah, I just remember when we were having that dinner with Trent, and he started talking in our heads, and you made this face, and it made me realize that, I bet people talking in your heads is not comforting and for all that you've been through.

ASHLEY: It's weird. I mean it's... I guess whenever it happens, you know, it feels like you're never alone, but not in a good way, if that makes sense. I hope it doesn't happen again, but yeah, it's not fun.

MARISHA: Was that what it was like with Obann all the time?

ASHLEY: Yes and no. I wasn't in charge of what I was doing, if that makes any sense. I was completely aware, but I couldn't stop myself from doing it. I think probably every single day about that time in the cathedral with you. And I don't know what I would have done if anything happened to you because of me.

MARISHA: I knew it wasn't you, but, yeah, I can imagine. It actually sounds so much worse when you still have your own thoughts mixed with someone else's like-- probably be easier to just be lost.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

MARISHA: I just, I couldn't help but notice your face in that moment with Trent and--

ASHLEY: He sucks anyway.

MARISHA: He sucks.

ASHLEY: I hate him. I just, and especially him in there, it's like, ugh, get out.

MARISHA: It's a different level of invasion of privacy. Normal conversations you can walk away from. When someone's in your head...

ASHLEY: Yeah. Um... I, uh... This is so stupid, but I actually wrote a poem for you. Where did I? It's--

MARISHA: What?

ASHLEY: It's just, like, I was just hanging out and I wrote something down on this parchment. It's very stupid-- it doesn't-- it's a stupid thing, but here.

MARISHA: Okay.

ASHLEY: It doesn't--

MARISHA: Should I-- Do I read it now or is it something that you--

ASHLEY: No, no, no, I mean, you can look at it later, but--

MARISHA: Okay, okay.

ASHLEY: I mean, no pressure to--

MARISHA: No, I mean, I-- you wrote me a poem.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: I'll-- I look forward to reading this when we are back in the tower.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: Um. (laughs nervously)

ASHLEY: Well, um... Now, I'm embarrassed for you to read the poem--

MARISHA: No!

ASHLEY: Because I think it'll be silly.

MARISHA: It's so cool!

ASHLEY: It's really corny, but I feel like--

MARISHA: No one's ever written me a poem before.

ASHLEY: Well, they should've. Yeah. Well, yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah, I just wanted to check in on you--

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm good, I'm good, I'm good--

MARISHA: All right, okay.

ASHLEY: I'm okay, but thanks for checking in.

MARISHA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: It's all good.

MARISHA: Okay.

ASHLEY: Okay, well, we're going to have a great time out there--

MARISHA: Yeah, just going on a hike.

ASHLEY: Yeah, we're going to go on a hike and it's going to be--

MARISHA: Tundra Hike.

ASHLEY: What an adventure for the Mighty Nein.

MARISHA: Okay, let's-- got to put my coat on.

ASHLEY: Yeah, me too, okay.

MARISHA: Is it-- are we going actually? No, like, really, I'm putting my coat on like we're leaving--

TRAVIS: It's 8:45.

MARISHA: -- and it might be, like, 10:00am. (laughter) Just, I'll put my backpacks on and--

MATT: Yeah, is there any business you want to take care of?

MARISHA: Nope.

MATT: All right. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Are we back in the tower? Oh, are going to go back in the tower? (laughter)

TRAVIS: We're in Aeor, right? We're in the tower?

MATT: So yeah, if you guys have your supplies together, if there's anything else you need to do? The day goes on.

SAM: Yeah, we can fast forward to--

TRAVIS: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LIAM: Yeah, I think so. We got all our supplies.

TALIESIN: You're making us nervous but no, yeah, okay.

LAURA: I know, yeah.

MATT: Okay, cool.

TRAVIS: I mean, we'll keep a general sense of wary preparedness about us--

MATT: No, of course, of course.

TRAVIS: If shit goes down.

MATT: Fair enough.

TRAVIS: Barren outpost.

MATT: You know, gather supplies, you wait around, snack, and people go about their business in Balenpost. No sign of Dagen, no sign of Vess yet. Kind of... mid-afternoon hits.

LAURA: I mean, yeah--

TRAVIS: Mid-afternoon hits?

MATT: At this point, like, two or three o'clock in the afternoon.

SAM: Like past time that we thought it would be?

MATT: Yeah, possibly. You're starting to wonder where you're supposed to meet. But, you know, you've been spending most of your time here in the whereabouts of the Central Fortress.

LAURA: I'm definitely going to go for a walk, because, it's boring waiting--

MATT: Okay. So you go for a walk out on the the fresh snow that's fallen now since the night's come, and it is a nice, soft, flurry that's pouring in. Everyone's bottled up a little extra thick today. You can see there's a bonfire now set up in the central courtyard area and there's a few people who are throwing bits of wood onto it, and which is, you gather, probably a challenge. Most of the wood has to be brought in, or from what small elements of nearby trees that are the further north you go, the fewer and fewer trees there are.

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: But there is a bit of a bonfire there. Some people are warming themselves. You do glance over and by the fire you see, in his awesome-looking chair, you see Dagen sitting there with a blanket over him with a big old, it looks like a bowl, just sitting there, and he just looks pretty wrecked.

LAURA: Oh.

MARISHA: A bowl, like a bowl?

MATT: Like a of a large basin of some kind.

MARISHA: Uh-ohs. Oh no.

TALIESIN: It's an outtie basin. A basin-- not an innie basin.

TRAVIS: Smoking fatties [inaudible] six-foot stand-up.

MATT: Can't tell from here.

MARISHA: Yeah. You got to specify.

TRAVIS: Somebody else has got to pull it for you.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah.

MATT: Oh my god.

TRAVIS: On three!

MARISHA: Go upstairs, man, yeah.

SAM: What are you guys talking about?

LAURA: I'll make a-- yeah.

TRAVIS: It's got a gargoyle base. It's really cool.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just got for this Christmas, bro.

MATT: Not a lot to do in Balenpost, you know?

LIAM: Travis, is that what those pipes do on your back?

TRAVIS: They do. That's why there's three.

SAM: We've got some good grass over here, too.

MATT: There's a reason-- (laughter)

TRAVIS: Look at her head!

MATT: Orly and Henry should never meet. (laughter)

SAM: We got pipes and some grass.

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: I'll walk over to Dagen. (crunches)

TRAVIS: Good foley.

LAURA: Thank you.

MATT: "(grunts) Hey there, morning."

LAURA: Hard night?

MATT: "Normal night."

LAURA: Oh, really? Alcohol warms you up.

MATT: "I know. It's cold."

LAURA: I like it. When are we leaving?

MATT: "I don't know. I'm waiting on the rest of you to come find me, so--"

LAURA: Oh, we were waiting in the fricking-- hold on, I'll go get everyone. Would you-- wait, wait. Do I need to get Vess DeRogna, too? Lady DeRogna. Do I need to get Lady DeRogna?

MATT: "I haven't seen her."

LAURA: Okay. Okay, you're just going to be here by the bonfire?

MATT: "Don't have much else I want to do." And you can gather from a brief glance look there's, you know, thankfully not an out bowl. This actually is filled with water and it has a little bit of frost on the sides. He's just been chugging--

LAURA: Okay, good.

MATT: Trying to rehydrate. But you can see as you're sitting there, the frost is gathering at the edges of his beard where the water has spilled down and it's freezing in the hair. Occasionally, he has to flick the ice crystals out. But yeah.

LAURA: Okay, well, I'll see you in a little bit.

MATT: "Okay."

LAURA: Do you need anything?

MATT: "No, I've got everything packed up and ready to go. You just let me know when and I'll grab my supplies."

LAURA: Okie dokie!

MATT: "Okay."

LAURA: (crunches) Dagen's out by the bonfire. He's just waiting for us.

TRAVIS: He's just waiting out there?

TALIESIN: Wow.

LAURA: Well, I don't know because Lady DeRogna isn't down yet, so--

TRAVIS: Right, is she staying here?

LAURA: She was staying here. She was staying upstairs.

SAM: Should we go knock on her door?

LAURA: I mean.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'll go to the tavern keep and ask if they know which room Lady DeRogna's in.

MATT: You pass by one of the people who's just in the process of cleaning up the messes from this morning feed. Yeah. It's tavern-esque.

TRAVIS: Yes.

MATT: Yeah. This is a younger fellow in his 30s, half-elven background. Looks like he's pretty chilly and not enjoying his time here, but glances over and says, "Well, the visiting suite's on the third floor. It's pretty much the third floor. Hard to miss. It's where all of the Assembly and Assembly-adjacent folk usually crash out."

TRAVIS: Third floor, yes. That's where we are. Is there a specific room that she might frequent?

MATT: "Oh, it's only one room."

TRAVIS: Oh, oh, right.

SAM: We're at the base.

LAURA: We're on the ground floor.

TRAVIS: We are on the ground floor.

MATT: "Right, right."

TRAVIS: See you in a bit, Slick.

MATT: "It's not my name," as you walk away. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Third floor.

SAM: It's actually Slock.

MATT: Yeah. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Slack. I'm going to go up and--

LAURA: I'll go with you.

MATT: Okay, you go up. The first floor, which has-- it's the big fortress base where most of the common guards and some other folk that run the general operational aspects of the fortress tend to stay. The second floor seems to have another common area. This one is a little more game room, if you will. You can see there's some stacks of cards and dominoes and dice elements in some places. There are bunkers and barracks, and you can see there are soldiers in there that are just resting at the moment and trying to delay the need, 'til their next shift comes out. So there's like probably about 12 or 13 or so armed individuals down in this space. You go up the next flight into the smallest third tier. And as you come up the stairs, it curves around and switch backs and you come immediately to a wooden door with three iron crossbars on it with a nice heavy turn brass knob on it. It definitely stands out from the rest of the make here. This is a very nice door for a relatively not nice construct.

TRAVIS: I imagine this is it.

LAURA: (knocks) Hello?

MATT: No response.

LAURA: I wonder if she's in, like, a magical room.

TRAVIS: She might be. You should kick it, kick the door.

LAURA: I'm not going to kick the door.

TRAVIS: Just like hard knock. I'll go and (boof boof).

LAURA: (knocks) Hello, hello, hello!

MATT: No response, but you do hear some footfalls and you see some of the armed people glance up the staircase at you. Just to check in--

TRAVIS: I'll just go halfway down the staircase. Lady DeRogna, has she emerged today?

MATT: They all look at each other. "No, I haven't seen her, why?"

TRAVIS: Oh, no, we're just little past our departure time. No reason for concern. (sucks in breath) Um. (clicks) Did she give you a way to get her attention?

MATT: "Knock?"

LAURA: Yeah, of course, duh! We know... to knock.

TRAVIS: Do you want to send her a message?

LAURA: Oh, good idea, Fjord! Yeah, I'm going to send a message.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Hello, we're outside your room. Are we planning to leave soon? We're just wondering, just waiting. Dagen's ready so. Oh! What're you doing?

TRAVIS: "What're you doing," right?

LAURA: What're, yeah.

TRAVIS: Contraction.

MATT: There you go.

LAURA: What you doing?

MATT: Moment passes, then another moment passes, then a few moments pass. No response.

LAURA: (gasps) She's not responding. Fjord, she's not responding.

TRAVIS: No, I know, but she could be in her tower, right? I don't think a message would reach her.

LAURA: Yes it does, it goes across all planes. It goes anywhere.

TRAVIS: No, are you sure?

LAURA: Yes, I know, I know, I know.

TRAVIS: Wait, you could be in another plane, another realm, another and it would find them?

LAURA: Yeah. This message thing is really awesome. The Traveler's a powerful guy, man. He teaches me some crazy things.

TRAVIS: What did she say she was doing? She said she had meeting. She said, "40 hours," which is a bit longer--

LAURA: She did say, "40 hours," That's two days, almost. But--

TRAVIS: Should we--

LAURA: Oh my gosh, what if what Molly was saying was, like, some sort of clue and he was coming after her, and we were supposed to let her know?

TRAVIS: That does seem a bit concerning at the moment.

MARISHA: (high pitched) It's totally not! Sorry.

TRAVIS: What?

MARISHA: I'm not there.

LAURA: Are you sure? (laughter)

TRAVIS: Yeah, that's a concern. Do you want to-- can you scry across all planes?

LAURA: (door rattling)

MATT: The door is locked. It's not opening.

TRAVIS: I'm going to head back down the stairs and just be like: I think we may have a situation in which we need to enter Lady DeRogna's premises.

MARISHA: What do you really mean?

SAM: Are you talking to Slock or to us?

MATT: Are you talking to soldiers?

TRAVIS: No, not you fucks, keep the pantomiming to yourself.

MARISHA: Oh. (laughter)

LAURA: Oh, we're talking to the soldiers?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: Oh, I thought you were talking to--

MATT: The soldiers, they look at each other, like, "Oh, we're-- the chambers are for Assembly members only."

TRAVIS: Right, but surely you have some way to get in there, especially, if they're in grave danger. Do you not?

LAURA: Maybe she's just pooping. You know, some people just don't like to talk.

MATT: "Why would they be in grave danger?"

TRAVIS: I don't know. I assume when the party that she's contracted to keep her safe can't reach her, then she might be in danger. You do like this job, don't you?

MATT: Make an intimidation check.

SAM: Poor Slock.

LAURA: Poor Slock.

TRAVIS: Natural 20.

SAM: Ooh!

TRAVIS: For a 30.

ASHLEY: Hey!

MATT: He goes, "I'll go talk to Akron. You four, come with me."

TRAVIS: We'll take that opportunity to head downstairs.

MATT: Okay. The soldiers there, all giving you-- The one is still giving you this intense look, the other ones are like--

TRAVIS: She's not answering and Jester tried to send a message and she didn't respond.

LAURA: She didn't respond, she may be pooping, or she could be in grave danger.

SAM: Either way, we should go find out, because--

TRAVIS: We are contracted to protect her and we didn't really make any arrangements for, I don't know, a signal or a message, in case that we lost track of her through the night.

SAM: She's super powerful! She can defend herself. She doesn't need us to defend her at night. She has domes to sleep under and shit like that, right?

TRAVIS: No, we're super powerful and shit happens to us at night all the time.

MARISHA: Yeah, Fjord totally died sleeping. He totally got stabbed in the middle of the night.

LIAM: Strange that it would happen here. I think we should barge our way in.

MARISHA: I think we should bust down the door.

LAURA: What if Molly was, like--

MARISHA: In her room last night, right under our noses?

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: What if that's what he meant?

SAM: Wait, did you scry on Molly, former Molly, after she left the table? Right, she was gone already.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: So he could have been like--

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: -- Vess-napping her at the moment.

MARISHA: What if that was the scent? What if that's what it was that he was talking? But what if--

LAURA: To alpha and alpha.

SAM: Well, let's go find out!

MARISHA: Let's go.

SAM: Let's go find out!

MARISHA: Yasha!

SAM: Wait, I can pick a lock. I-- yeah, yeah.

MATT: (laughs)

SAM: Yeah, Yasha, yeah, bust down the door.

LAURA: No, no, you do.

SAM: All right, all right, we'll scramble upstairs. Are there soldiers there, or we've--?

MATT: No, they've all-- well, there's two left in the room, that are just watching you as you pass by and you head up to the door and there's nobody up there at the moment.

SAM: Mage Hand!

MATT: All right, go ahead and make pick lock, then.

SAM: 29.

MATT: 29 will do it.

MARISHA: Yasha, kick it down anyway!

TRAVIS: Got it. (smashing)

MATT: So (lock clicks, creaking, impacts) The rest of it gets kicked forward with Yasha's foot. Immediately, the first thing that gets you is a very cold sensation.

LAURA: Oh no.

MATT: As you walk in, there is a bit of snow that is gathered and scattered across the floor of a chamber that to you, Jester, looks very familiar.

ALL: (exclaiming)

LAURA: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

MARISHA: Oh my god, through the window!

MATT: You can see the open window off to the left hand side of what is a beautiful suite, very well-outfitted and feels very out of place from the rest of Balenpost. You can see--

MARISHA: We didn't question--

TRAVIS: Under our fucking--

LIAM: Could've been anywhere. Could've been anywhere!

MATT: And you can see there are books scattered on the ground. There are open cases and you can see there is a one case that is open and turned over, at the foot of the large, four-posted bed.

LIAM: Oh, I start Will Grahaming the room. I'm looking at all the books, the case that's been open.

TALIESIN: Detect Magic.

TRAVIS: While we were fucking here.

MARISHA: I mean, we made all the connections, but that one!

MATT: And as you glance about the room, the other thing that catches your attention, is the humanoid shape lying on the bed.

LAURA: (gasps)

TRAVIS: Shut the fuck up.

MARISHA: She's dead.

LAURA: He killed her?

TRAVIS: We-- we--

LAURA: Wait, I don't--

SAM: Caduceus! Look at them!

TRAVIS: Check. Life. Check life.

TALIESIN: Spare the Dying.

SAM: Check for life.

TRAVIS: I make myself look like Vess DeRogna instantly and I shut the door and stand outside.

MATT: Okay. You go and check this figure as you approach. This is indeed Vess DeRogna. Flesh pale, life long gone, streams of blood pouring from her eyes, her nose, her mouth, her ears. The expression itself aghast and locked in absolute horror and pain. And because of your passive perception, as you glance down, you also see there's a strange coloration on her neck. And you go and pull back, and there on the right side of her neck, you see a marking that resembles a red eye.

TRAVIS: Oh my god. We didn't make it one day.

MARISHA: This close, this close.

MATT: You can--

MARISHA: Fuck. Why didn't I think one step further?

MATT: The right hand where the sleeve is pulled back, you see in the palm, another similar red eye.

MARISHA: Wait, wait, wait.

LIAM: On DeRogna?

TALIESIN: I'm going to keep checking.

LAURA: Are these fresh eyes?

MATT: On the other side.

LAURA: Have these been put on there--

LIAM: Are they in places that we were able to see visibly before, or were they--

MATT: They were.

LIAM: Yeah, so this is new.

MATT: You can see these are deep set red eye-like designs.

MATT: You can see these are deep set red eye-like designs. The front of the palm-- Or in the palm, back of the hand, and on the side of the neck, from what you can see. The rest of her is currently covered.

LIAM: I'm rolling this room, and I'm not above taking anything that belonged to her, that was not stolen from the room.

MATT: Okay, make an investigation check.

MARISHA: I'm mad at myself.

LIAM: Natural 20.

SAM: What did you say?

LIAM: Natural 20 for a 31.

MATT: For a 31?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Dang, you guys are rolling the 20s today.

LIAM: It's the same die that rolled so well in the other game!

TALIESIN: I'm going to hit her with Gentle Repose, just to have it.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Should we raise her from the dead? Do we have that ability?

TALIESIN: I mean, I don't have that now.

LAURA: I don't have it.

SAM: Revivify or something, or?

LAURA: Revivify, she's been dead a lot longer than a minute.

TALIESIN: Yeah, she's--

SAM: Well, what's the other one?

TALIESIN: That's a lot.

LAURA: Resurrection.

TRAVIS: No, we're not doing that.

LIAM: Okay, well, here's what we could do. We could have you, in the form of DeRogna, go and tell Dagen that we need another day before we leave. And then we drag her inside of my tower for the night, and we do what we need to do tomorrow.

TRAVIS: Yes, agreed.

MATT: You, from the open window, you can see down in the central area now, there's a gathering of about 25 or so soldiers that are all around Arkhan-- oh sorry, Akron Wardlaw, who first greeted you when you arrived, and it looks like they're all making their way towards the fort.

MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Okay, hang on.

SAM: Are there any other eyes on her body? Can we just, like, lift a couple of--

MATT: If you want to, make an investigation check.

MARISHA: They've got to all be the same place.

SAM: All right, I'm just going to inspect the body for anything, including eyes.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Checking the room.

SAM: 28.

TRAVIS: I open the door, and I ask Jester to come outside and join me.

MATT: Okay. You do notice there are spaces in the body where jewelry was worn, like an area where you see bracelets and rings, and there are areas in the skin that show that there was a lot of jewelry that you've seen her wear, all removed. She's been picked clean. But you do discover, as you inspect through it, there is the red eye in the neck, there is the red eye on the palm and the back of the hand. You also see two over the heart on her chest. Side to side, one in the middle of the shoulder blades, one at the nape of the neck, actually hidden underneath the hairline.

TRAVIS: Knife wounds?

MARISHA: Same places.

TRAVIS: You said knife wounds?

MATT: No, these are all the red eyes.

SAM: Do I count nine total?

MATT: You count nine eyes total.

SAM: And do they look like they-- these are objects, or drawings, or carvings?

MATT: They would almost be tattoos, but they're too clean. There's no scar detail. There's no--

SAM: And they don't look like they're pasted on. They've been integrated to her skin somehow?

MATT: Correct.

TRAVIS: Followed us in from the goddamn dock.

SAM: And no redness around those areas?

MATT: Make a medicine check for me.

TRAVIS: We thought we were chasing him down, and he was just waiting.

MARISHA: Made the connection between the book.

MATT: 12?

MARISHA: Made the connection between the book, didn't think of--

MATT: You do not see any signs of them being recent.

ASHLEY: So these were all, from what we can see, they were places where she had them covered with, like, jewelry or her hair or--

TRAVIS: She might be practicing for the Nine Eyes.

MATT: Or, like many other powerful mages, hidden with a glamor.

MARISHA: What if that's what they meant? What if that's what he meant?

TALIESIN: I'm going to look at the one at the back of the neck, is it just underneath the hair? The hair hasn't been removed?

MATT: The hair hasn't been removed. The hair has grown through it.

SAM: The hair has grown through it, so these have been there for a while. These aren't what killed her.

MARISHA: What if they're the alphas? What if that's what they meant by alpha to alpha?

LAURA: To alpha.

SAM: No conspiracy theories right now!

MARISHA: That's all this is!

TALIESIN: I'm going to do a Detect Magic on the room.

TRAVIS: Someone's covering up the body, yes? I'm sure-

LIAM: Wait, wait, wait, rewind. Did I find anything in the room dropped by her, by them, anything that belonged to her, anything?

MATT: You find all manner of books that are history books. A lot of them deal with survival techniques, some of them are classic books that you see in a lot of Zemnian libraries and other regions, designed to just to pass the time. It looks like most everything that she brought with her has been taken.

LIAM: They take her personal spellbook?

MATT: Yes, everything, everything on her except for her clothing, has been taken.

LAURA: I'm going to cast Enhance Ability on Fjord.

MATT: Okay, as you--

TRAVIS: Cover the body, cover the body, cover the body, cover the body.

MATT: As you guys are outside of the chamber, making your way around the stairs, you can hear the dozens and dozens of heavy footfalls beginning to work with haste up the hallway towards you. And that's where we're going to take a break. (groaning)

MATT: Because you've been going for a bit.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: We're going to take a break, and we'll come back to that, and see what transpires.

MARISHA: What? Oh, no.

LIAM: I got to cast the tower.

TRAVIS: God, we suck at our job. We're like, fancy dinner, we pay for shit, have a couple of drinks. Go to bed, we'll you see in the morning, right? Barren winter wasteland. Didn't even talk about it. We didn't set up a sentry outside of her door.

SAM: We're her bodyguards.

TRAVIS: We didn't do shit. We didn't check her room. God, we had a chance to be the secret service and we blew it!

ASHLEY: Ugh!

SAM: Well.

MARISHA: I'm just mad that we were like, "Ah!"

SAM: It would've helped if we'd cared about the person we were---

MARISHA: "Clearly he took her book."

LIAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: "So it's about the book." He's like, "Oh, we got the book back." Didn't go one step further to be like he got it from her.

SAM: Tonight.

MARISHA: Tonight, right now, upstairs.

TRAVIS: Our Yelp reviews are gonna suck.

MARISHA: Fuck!

MATT: And on that note, we'll be back here in a few minutes. We'll see you shortly.

Break
BRIAN: Well, we have a lot to talk about in regards to-- What was that? That was not your shot of tequila, was it Sam?

SAM: No, that was just some trash I was throwing out. There's a trash can over there.

BRIAN: Oh okay, I thought you were doing the "Fear of Loathing", this is my last drink. Hey, cheers, Travis, what you got there?

TRAVIS: This is just a little apple juice. 14 year old apple juice.

BRIAN: Sam, what do you have there?

SAM:I have apple juice.

BRIAN: All right.

TRAVIS: Is it really apple juice?

BRIAN:I think we're allowed to say that we're drinking alcohol, can't we?

SAM: No, I don't think so. It's a new policy on the channel. There's no alcohol allowed on the channel or any adult themes.

TRAVIS: Or language, right?

BRIAN: That is all the time we have for tonight, folks. That's a series wrap on "Talks Machina".

MATT: I think we need to reincorporate ice giants and frost giants into the lore of the North Pole.

MICA: Well, everyone knows that the North Pole is guarded by a family of frost giants. And originally, before reindeer, Santa Claus' sled was pulled by yetis. Does not everybody know that?

MATT: See, I want that movie. I want to see, it be like, oh, Santa and his elves, every single gift in the world, think of all the eBay we can make. We're just gonna go ahead and do the greatest heist of old Saint Nick, and they get there and it's just this giant, sitting there, armored up, going, Mr. Claus didn't invite you. (upbeat music)

LAURA: Hey, critters, Laura Bailey here. Let's see what's up in the Critical Role shop. Oh my gosh, it's so amazing. Go ahead, darling, treat yourself. The cuteness, it's overpowering. I mean, the traveler always says, impulse purchases are a good decision. You're only like five clicks away from owning this, maybe more if you have a lot of windows open on your browser, I don't know your life. So click on over to the Critical Role shop. Don't worry, there's a few more minutes in the break. You still got time.

(dramatic music)

DANI: I just want to watch my "Critical Role".

TALIESIN: For your consideration, this is the face of a critter who's craving their "Critical Role" content. But for this sanctimonious shipper, time misled them like a trip to the Feywild. They now have come face to face with existential dread. A fear of sardonic spoilers. Let us led them across the bridge into a realm of bright shadows where even if one misses the live viewing of their favorite program, they can still watch it on demand, if they bare the mark of a Twitch subscription to the channel. That mark, a mysterious sigil of emoticons made by the sage, Arsequeef. In this land of shadow, known as the Twitch subscription zone, no shipper, fanficker, or please name my kitten litter critter, has to feel like a bitter fritter. And so ends another meandering digression. A complicated parody promo down an indistinct highway to the region we call the Twitch subscription zone. Subscribe. Twitch Prime subscribe. Gift subscribe. Subscribe. You should check to see if you've left the oven on.

Part II
MATT: And welcome back. So picking up where we left off, most of the Mighty Nein is currently scrambling through the middle of Lady Vess DeRogna's chambers, the third floor of Balenpost's main fortress. While you, Jester and Fjord, make your way out to the stairs to meet with the cadre of soldiers that are being summoned at your behest after acquiring the attention of Akron. So what do you do as you begin to hear the footfalls rise up around the switchback staircase? You have a few seconds.

TRAVIS: After a little talk over the break, I'm going to drop Mask of Many Faces and I'm going to use Major Image to summon a Vess DeRogna behind the two of us at the top of the stairs--

LIAM: Atta boy.

TRAVIS: -- at the foot of the open door. And we will stand in front of her.

MATT: Okay, got it. So you summon her. The illusion appears behind you, and there she is in all of her illusory glory, hands crossed in front of her, chin slightly lifted, just as you recall many of the scenarios. At that point, you see a bunch of soldiers, weapons out at the ready, come around the way, their piecemeal armor now lit by the torchlight into the edges of it. They stop and see this and look back, confused.

LAURA: I'm going to look like we just got reprimanded, like really bad.

MATT: Okay. As the tension settles into the chamber, Akron pushes around and goes, "I'm sorry, was there an issue, Lady?"

TRAVIS: There was. Unfortunately, it seems Lady DeRogna was made quite ill last night, perhaps by the cooking of this establishment, and while she seemed to cry out this morning, and was left unheard, your men did not answer her call. If you don't mind, the Mighty Nein will now take over all food prep, all delivery, and all handling of Lady DeRogna's security. Is that clear?

MATT: Make a bluff check.

LAURA: With advantage!

SAM: Oy oy oy oy oy!

TRAVIS: 12.

LIAM: Come on, face man.

TRAVIS: 18 plus 10 is 28.

MATT: 28. So as Akron goes, "Is this true, Lady DeRogna?"

TRAVIS: She holds her stomach and she says, "Yes, I'm afraid so. The food. I'm not sure, but it's very distressing to cry out and not be heard. I'm very, very disappointed." (laughter)

MATT: But, I'm sure, in her accent.

TRAVIS: Yeah. The French accent.

SAM: (exaggerated French accent) I am very disappointed.

LIAM: (exaggerated French accent) How you say--

TRAVIS: (exaggerated French accent) Be our guest.

ASHLEY: How you say, ah--

MATT: Akron goes, "My sincerest apologies, Lady DeRogna. We have been doing what I thought was our best to provide an experience, only befit a member of the Assembly. The individuals responsible for your meal prep will be punished severely. And as per the request, indeed, your... guardians will be able to receive and be tasked with the preparation and care of your meals from this point forward."

TRAVIS: She says, "Thank you. These truly are capable warriors. If you don't mind, I'm still feeling a bit under the weather. We'll have to resume our activities on the morrow, if that's all right." (laughs) (laughter)

TRAVIS: She's not laughing! "I have to retire to rest."

MATT: "Should I inform Dagen of your--?"

TRAVIS: I turn, Fjord turns and says: We will make sure that Dagen is informed. Again, all of the Lady's communications will run through us as well.

MATT: "Understood. Once again, my sincerest apologies," and he turns around to the soldiers behind them and you watch them all take a step back.

LAURA: Shut the door.

MATT: Okay, as you close the door, you begin to hear just shouting like, "You imbecile! Come here, come here!" And you hear some shuffling. People begin to scatter a bit, the downstairs area, the common soldier barracks, a chamber that crosses by the staircase. You can hear soldiers quickly shuffling in there to get out of the scuffle. And you hear the raised voices continue as they beginning to descend lower and lower within the fort. And then within a period of time you feel like, at the moment, their eyes are not on you.

LAURA: Good job.

SAM: (exhales)

TRAVIS: Thank you.

LAURA: You made her really nice. I'm sure they were really unnerved by the fact that she was nice.

TRAVIS: I feel really bad for the kitchen staff. Okay, I don't know how much time we have, but perhaps we should execute whatever next step of the plan we have.

ASHLEY: Can I look around and see if there's any sign of struggle, anything? Just look around and see if there's anything else that we might be missing in the room.

MATT: Make an investigation check.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: Also, yeah I did around the--

TRAVIS: That advantage helped massively.

ASHLEY: 12.

MATT: 12. I mean, best you can tell, the bed where the body still lays, there is blood pooling from the places where it has leaked from the head orifices onto the bed. And then on the ground at the foot of it, you can see there are fresh splatter, or fresh in comparison-- they're as fresh as the body is-- splatters of blood at the foot of the bed, on the ground that is frozen over.

LAURA: Should we find out what happened, Caduceus?

SAM: Those splatters on the foot of the bed, do they look like they're dripping from her toes or something, or is it--?

MATT: No, and even just passive investigation between Caleb and Veth and Beauregard, it's relatively easy for you guys to ascertain that she died on her feet.

SAM: And fell backwards or was placed?

MATT: And then fell backwards.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: So whatever took her took her violently and suddenly.

MARISHA: Jesus.

SAM: Cool.

LIAM: By now the door to the tower is back, because I would have used the time they were talking--

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: -- to cast.

SAM: But wait, what are we doing?

LIAM: Well, we have the body of Archduke Franz Ferdinand here right now. We don't want to kick off a whole new war.

TRAVIS: Huh?

TALIESIN: We also have five questions.

LIAM: Let's drag her inside and the door here will vanish. They won't know where we are, and we will have 24 hours max if we want to figure this shit out.

TRAVIS: I can stay in this room, outside of the tower, in case someone knocks or asks or checks, I can answer the door.

SAM: Does anyone have any magical means of cleaning up this blood all over the place?

TRAVIS: And there are no tracks, right? Nothing that shows that they entered or left through the window or the door?

SAM: There is an open window

MARISHA: We already know.

SAM: There's snow that we need to get out.

MARISHA: I mean, yeah.

TRAVIS: And there was no blood going up the side of the building to the roof or down or they just vanished?

SAM: I'll pop my head out, Matt, out of the window, and just see if there's any tracks or anything.

LAURA: I watched him jump out the window.

TRAVIS: He did.

SAM: Or signs of breaking and entering.

MATT: Certainly.

TALIESIN: Does no one have Prestidigitation?

LAURA: No.

SAM: 23.

TRAVIS: Baby, there's no way you would know.

MATT: 23.

LAURA: There's always--

MATT: You do not see any tracks, because there's been a full evening and morning of consistent snowfall, and it is just--

MARISHA: Yeah, we have no idea.

MATT: Just a consistent, soft, plain of fresh snow that has settled.

SAM: And is the window just-- has it been broken open, or is it just left open?

MATT: If you go ahead and inspect the hinges for it, it is currently open, and a little bit of ice has gathered at the edges, and keeping it sealed open on that side.

SAM: But like, could I close the window?

MATT: Yeah, you can close it.

SAM: Okay, I will close the window.

MATT: It takes you a moment to jostle it free from what frost has gathered and kept it.

SAM: Okay, so yeah, drag the body in and stuff, but I feel like a couple of us should clean up the room or something, so someone comes in...

TRAVIS: I can be doing that. I'll stay outside as well.

SAM: Okay.

MARISHA: Caduceus.

LIAM: Well, let's get her up to the second floor, the grand hall.

MARISHA: Yeah, let's figure out exactly what we're going to ask her.

TALIESIN: I got some ideas, but I'm happy to hear them.

LIAM: Yasha, will you help me get the body--

ASHLEY: Yes.

LIAM: -- up to the top of the platform and then we can float her up.

ASHLEY: Just pick her up.

LIAM: Okay, we float spiraling up together with the dead Cerberus Assembly wizard up to the second floor?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LIAM: And we lay her down. I run over to the double doors and open it, and pull out a rolling table, and we lay her down on top of that, and wait for everyone who's going to convene to convene. So we've got a morgue slab, more or less.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: She's in stasis until we decide otherwise.

MARISHA: I mean, we have a chance here where she might be more honest with us dead.

TALIESIN: Yeah, and she'll remember what happened.

MARISHA: We also have almost more of a bargain. What else does she have to lose now, right? It's clear she was dishonest with us. She was withholding information.

LAURA: Well, what if she was like Molly is? I mean, what if she's-- when she's gone, she's gone. That another person would be coming back. What if the Nine Eyes is somehow--

MARISHA: Nine... people. Nine entities, nine lives.

LIAM: Yeah, does anyone associated with this Eyes of Nine have the same, multiple personalities locked away or is that just a Mollymauk thing?

MARISHA: Well, I guess all those questions we had for Mollymauk we're about to find out.

LIAM: Yeah. Perhaps she will be more forthright with us if she believes we will bring her back in exchange.

MARISHA: Exactly. That's a great bargaining chip.

TALIESIN: Or... she's clever. Will she insist on only talking once we bring her back?

MARISHA: Well, if she is like Molly, then, I guess, maybe what we can offer isn't as valuable.

TALIESIN: I say we start with a conversation and then use the carrot if it seems necessary.

MATT: To be aware, because you would be aware of this. Speak with Dead does not speak with the soul.

TALIESIN: No, it's not.

MATT: It's the animated spirit of the body and what it knew in life, so.

TALIESIN: Yeah, there's no, they're not that bright.

MATT: No.

TALIESIN: It's just-- they'll remember how they died, though. Everything up until then is clear.

MATT: It remembers everything the body experienced.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LIAM: I will-- I can do this telepathically, make the globules that ring this entire nine-sided large hall brighten or dim. So they all go as bright as they can and I pull a rope on one wall and a stream of cats comes in the holes in the bottom and forms a large ring around this table and the cats begin to glow slightly as well. So there is--

MARISHA: It's a bit unnerving.

LIAM: It's a bit like a medical amphitheater now.

MARISHA: Ah.

SAM: Cool.

TRAVIS: Whoa.

LAURA: I like them.

MARISHA: Are these cats happy? (laughter)

LAURA: They purr.

LIAM: Well, they've only been in existence for a slightly under 48 hours, so they might not be sure themselves yet.

MARISHA: Mmm.

TRAVIS: What is the meaning of-- (blows raspberry)

LIAM: Are you happy?

MARISHA: Dude, oh.

LIAM: Yeah, it's a big question, isn't it?

MARISHA: Yeah, but a cat?

TALIESIN: It's a big question to pose to a cat, I think as well.

MARISHA: Should we pose it to a dead person?

TALIESIN: I think we will. That's actually--

MARISHA: Let's get back to that.

TALIESIN: Do we have-- let's sit her upright. Let's make this a conversation.

MARISHA: Okay, okay, what are we asking, though?

TALIESIN: Well, I've been thinking about that.

MARISHA: Let's not ask her anything we already know.

TALIESIN: We know that she has the tattoos, so we could ask what they mean. What the book is, where she thinks he's headed, and what "To alpha and alpha we trek 'til homeward bound, we be," might mean.

MARISHA: And then there's one more question.

TALIESIN: Yeah,.

TRAVIS: What?

ASHLEY: Be beneficial, I want to ask her who are the-- who is-- who are the the Nine Eyes?

MARISHA: Yeah, what does this all mean?

LIAM: Yeah, what is it you haven't been telling us?

MARISHA: What are the Eyes of Nine? Yeah, right, yeah.

LAURA: It's a big question.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LIAM: It is.

SAM: Me and Fjord are going to finish up our cleaning--

MATT: Okay.

SAM: -- and come in.

TRAVIS: I stay out.

SAM: You're going to stay out?

TRAVIS: In case someone knocks on the door.

SAM: Do you want me to stay with you or are you okay?

TRAVIS: I'll be all right.

LIAM: You're in ear shot. You can call out.

TRAVIS: You can send a message, too.

LIAM: We could shout to you from where we are.

TRAVIS: Oh, and I can hear it from within the--

SAM: I don't think so.

LAURA: We can have the door open.

LIAM: I can leave the door open.

SAM: Oh cool.

TRAVIS: Wow, that's awesome. Even better. If shit goes down, I'll close it.

TALIESIN: All right, I'm going to drop the hold to drop the stasis on the body. Just out of panic, Eyes of the Grave. It's just a cadaver?

MATT: It's just a cadaver.

TALIESIN: Okay.

TRAVIS: Ooh, what else would it have been?

LAURA: The undead.

TALIESIN: Trap, undead, like they're, you know.

TRAVIS: Yeah, sure, wow.

TALIESIN: Things are weird right now. And then I'm casting Speak with Dead.

MATT: Very well, so--

TRAVIS: Let's go, immortal one.

MARISHA: Come on, come on.

MATT: As you take a moment to beseech mentally the Wild Mother to breathe her breath of life into this no longer living corpse, you deeply inhale, and then as you exhale your breath across the corpse of Lady Vess DeRogna, you watch her chest inhale, like it's breathing his breath in. Her expression still locked in that terrified, twisted ghastly expression of horror and pain, eyes wide. The jaw still open and locked. Just (guttural gasp).

SAM: (sound of disgust)

MATT: (crunching gasp) And just looks right back towards you, her eyes meeting yours, but still looking past you.

TALIESIN: As I'm sure you know, things did not go well. If we're to continue, we're going to need your help. (sighs) You have nine red eyes tattooed on your body. What do they mean?

MATT: (squelches) The jaw, you can see the tense muscles snap it shut for a second, then it begins to speak with you, stilted and awkward. "They are my connection. They are my right to be the Nonagon."

LIAM: (exhales)

TALIESIN: (sighs)

TALIESIN: What was the book that Lucien took from you?

MATT: "Something found. Something wasted on those who discovered it, and something I was so close to unlocking."

TALIESIN: Well, it looks like he's going to beat you to it. (sighs) "To alpha and alpha, we trek 'til homeward bound we be." What do you think that means?

MATT: "I am uncertain, though many pieces of the city lay strewn, one to the next."

TALIESIN: Does anyone have one more, or can I take it?

SAM: Well, that's three, right?

MARISHA: We reach into--

TALIESIN: One more.

MARISHA: Where were they headed? That was only three.

SAM: That was only three.

LAURA: You can ask what it means to be a Nonagon.

LIAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah, it was, like, "where were you all headed," but I feel like we know that now--

TALIESIN: I think we already know that.

MARISHA: --with that question. And then it was, like, "what does it all mean," which isn't too far off from "what does it mean to be a Nonagon?"

LIAM: You could ask, "What is it you haven't been telling us?"

SAM: All vague.

TALIESIN: That's very vague.

LAURA: That's vague, yeah. "What is a Nonagon?" or "what does it mean to be a Nonagon?" (eraser scratching)

TALIESIN: Lucien also called himself a Nonagon. What is it to be a Nonagon?

MATT: The head twists slightly with a pop as it begins to shift and look towards you. "A Nonagon is a vessel. It is the key to Cognouza."

SAM: To what?

MATT: "It is--"

MARISHA: Cog--

MATT: "-- the one to free the Somnovem." (page flapping)

TALIESIN: How long ago? How long ago did you find Molly?

LAURA: We met him--

SAM: Two years ago?

LAURA: No, like a year and a half.

TALIESIN: A year-ish, right?

SAM: Well, when did you meet Molly?

ASHLEY: I mean--

LIAM: Two years prior, start of the story.

MATT: It would've been around a little over two years ago.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I only met him at the-

TALIESIN: All right, over-- a bit over two years ago, something went wrong with Lucien. Something he was trying to do changed him. Do you know what that was?

MATT: "Yes, I'm the one who did it." (exhaling)

ALL: (groaning)

ALL: (groaning)

LIAM: I didn't hear what--

LAURA: "Yes, I'm the one who did it."

TRAVIS: She's the one who did it.

LAURA: So she-

TRAVIS: Okay, just because it was soft, a key to Cognouza?

SAM: Cognouza?

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Cognouza.

MARISHA: Ancient, the one to free the what?

MATT: Somnovem.

TRAVIS: Somnovem?

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LIAM: Key to Cognouza.

TRAVIS: Is that one word, Sognovum?

MATT: Somnovem.

MARISHA: S, S-O-M,

MATT: S-O-M.

MARISHA: N-O-V-E-N?

MATT: N-O-V-E-M.

MARISHA: V-E-N, N-O-V.

ASHLEY: One word?

TRAVIS: It's S-O-M-N-O-V-E-M. Cognouza is C-O-G-N-O-S-A?

MATT: N-O-U-Z-A.

MARISHA: N-O-U-Z-A.

LIAM: Key to Cognouza, and the second bit one more time?

SAM: Somnovem, Somnovem?

MATT: Somnovem.

MARISHA: Somnoven?

TRAVIS: S-O-M-N-O-V

MARISHA: With a-- with an N at the end.

MATT: M.

MARISHA: An M, a Somnovem.

TRAVIS: A vessel, a key to Cognouza.

SAM: I mean, som and sleep. Nov means nine.

LAURA: Wow!

TRAVIS: Wait, what?

SAM: Som, like "somnambulist."

MARISHA: Like "somber"?

SAM: It means "sleep."

LIAM: "Somnolent," yeah.

SAM: And then "nov" is nine, right?

MARISHA: And then Cognouza, cog--

SAM: Or "new." Nova means new.

LAURA: "A new sleep"?

SAM: In Zemnian! (laughter)

MARISHA: Cognouza.

TALIESIN: Well.

TRAVIS: Holy fucking balls, I'm so glad we did that.

MARISHA: Yes.

TRAVIS: And Vess DeRogna did that shit to Molly. So, she totally, of course, clearly now knew.

SAM: The key to Cognouza to unlock--?

LIAM: A lot more than just they were some mercs for hire.

MARISHA: The one to free Somnovem.

MATT: "Free the Somnovem."

LAURA: "Free the Somnovem."

MARISHA: Nonagon is a vessel, the key to Cognouza.

LAURA: (gasps) That's the city! That's the city! Somnovem is a city.

LIAM: Free the Eyes of Nine.

SAM: Do we know what this city is called at all?

LAURA: That's what it is!

SAM: No, but have we ever heard a name of the city? Is it Aeor?

TALIESIN: Not now.

TRAVIS: And it wasn't the--

MARISHA: Well, is it Somnovem or Cognouza?

LAURA: The key to Cognouza to free the Som-- I bet.

SAM: Remember, the Cognouza is the act of freeing it, or the-- the ritual--

LIAM: It could be the city. It could be inhabitants of the city. It's hard to-- hard to know.

MARISHA: "To free Somnovem."

LAURA: Whatever it is, I think it would be bad if we freed it.

SAM: Or if Lucien does, yeah. And she killed Lucien, a.k.a. Molly.

TALIESIN: Or she made Molly.

MARISHA: Or she fucked up the ritual in some deliberate way. Yeah, she made Molly, and if-- Yasha was saying that when Molly came back, he kept saying that he was empty.

LAURA: Poor Molly.

SAM: Do you guys think that Molly and Vess are the only two of these eye people, these Nonagons?

TALIESIN: No.

MARISHA: I don't think so.

LAURA: I wonder if all of the other ones are--

SAM: I feel like they are. I think it was just her, then she made a new one, and, like, the pupil overtook the-- the teacher.

LIAM: (sighs)

TALIESIN: That-- that doesn't sound right.

LAURA: What if he was her teacher?

SAM: But he's so much younger than her. How would that work?

LAURA: He's pretty powerful. I mean, he was able to kill her.

ASHLEY: Do, does--

TRAVIS: By himself? He was by himself.

LAURA: He was by himself.

SAM: We think.

TRAVIS: Molly's a fucking champ!

SAM: But, you know, he could've gotten an item or had some sort of-- because they are both Nonagon, maybe they had-- they know each other's one weakness.

TRAVIS: Ooh!

SAM: You know, they're Highlanders!

MARISHA: Also Nonagon. I mean, that's-- and that themes of nine. Nonagon feels like a family crest in a way, like a dynasty.

TALIESIN: A title?

MARISHA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: It's a title.

TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.

MARISHA: So, why would only two people have that title?

LIAM: How did we get--

TALIESIN: So far.

TRAVIS: They were fighting for the title.

MARISHA: Maybe they are fighting for the title.

TALIESIN: There can be only one.

SAM: They're Highlanders, I'm telling you!

MARISHA: There-- yeah.

SAM: (sighs) Okay. So, now, we're wasting time. Like, we should get on the road right away!

TRAVIS: We really should.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I thought that we need to take care of business here, though.

LAURA: Where are we going to put her?

LIAM: I have a question. Is amber, what I use for the Vault of Amber-- one of my five stones that I talk about when I cast that spell was shattered. Is amber a rare enough thing that I only have four now, or would I be-- would I have-- I know we never talked about it, but would I have more than that, or do I need to go--

MATT: If you have not purchased additional pieces of amber, then finding additional ones would be challenging up here. Do you require five pieces to cast the spell?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: You could ask around.

LIAM: Yeah, I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that.

LAURA: You could look in the bag of jewels and see if there's any amber in there, but it's not really a jewel.

LIAM: I just need one piece.

SAM: Of amber?

LIAM: Yeah. Yeah.

TALIESIN: Looking in my random stuff drawer.

LAURA: I know, right?

SAM: I mean--

LAURA: Can you transmute something into amber?

LIAM: No.

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: Let me see what I got.

LIAM: No.

SAM: I mean, amber is the color of my energy, but that's about it.

TRAVIS: We can put her in the Bag of Holding. We just have to... make it fit.

LAURA: Oh god.

MATT: (laughs) In quotes.

TALIESIN: I mean--

TRAVIS: Dork the Ox, baby!

MATT: Yeah!

TRAVIS: OG!

MARISHA: Well, we are having this discussion while he figures out if he has amber.

LIAM: I'm going to-- I'm going to leave and let them talk, and I'm going to try to find something in this place.

MATT: Okay, where you going?

LIAM: I'm just going to start asking around that I need spell components, that I'm here with Lady DeRogna and I'm preparing for the journey.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: I'm putting her back in stasis--

MATT: Make a perception check for me.

LIAM: 19.

MATT: Okay. (sighs) For the better part of an hour, you ask around, and most folks are like, "I don't know where you're going to find amber in this," or it's people, like, "I don't even know what amber is. I'm, just, you know--"

LIAM: "I knew her."

TRAVIS: Outpost.

MATT: Yep, yeah, there's some folks that are-- you gather a lot of these people probably found their way from either Shadycreek Run or possibly paid off some sort of prison debt by working the post here. There's definitely an energy of people you wouldn't trust to turn your back on too long. You do eventually find one person that speaks up and goes, "Oh, you're looking for amber, are ye?"

LIAM: Ah, yes, I have misplaced components for some of the things that I do, and I know I'm hard-pressed up here to find it, and I would pay a great deal for some.

MATT: "Interesting, I just so happen for myself here, a family heirloom that I keep around me, keeping me safe and keeping my heart warm, that's got some amber in it."

LIAM: Well, I'm in the market. Would you be willing to part with it?

MATT: "For the right price."

LIAM: Okay. Here are two pearls worth roughly... I'm going to peg each of these at about 100 gold worth, probably way more than I would spend on the--

MATT: "Getting warmer, getting warmer."

LIAM: Here are three pearls between his fingers.

LAURA: I was, like, how are you doing it?

TRAVIS: Yeah, he's holding 'em. (pop)

LIAM: I'm David Bowie-ing it.

MATT: Yep.

LIAM: One, two, three.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

LIAM: Okay. Good. Persuasion, twenty... five.

SAM: Woo!

MATT: Damn!

TALIESIN: (whistles)

MATT: "Oh, best not be telling me grammies." And he goes back into one of the tents on the side, and you hear the sound of, like, twine snapping and wood breaking, and he comes back out shrugging off this, looks like elements of knitted webbing, almost like some sort of a dreamcatcher-like device that's he's just smashed in two. He goes, pulls it out-- "That'll do for ye!" And you look at it. It's a piece of amber. It has a little bit of a hole drilled through it, to where it was settled upon, but it's still a decent size.

LIAM: And I know it's amber?

MATT: Uh, you can go ahead and inspect it with a careful investigation check.

LIAM: Okay, that is a 17.

MATT: 17, looks to be pretty much amber, yeah.

LIAM: Okay.

SAM: "Pretty much amber."

MATT: Hard to fake amber, necessarily, unless you're-

LIAM: Three, I drop the pearls.

TALIESIN: Only 16% real amber, aww.

MARISHA: (laughs) Concentrated amber? Aww.

MATT: "Let's hope it keeps you safe up here north. Thank you for your patronage, and looking for any other odds and ends, don't be afraid to walk by and ask. Who knows? I might have some."

LIAM: No, thank, you, just that. (whooshes) Turn around, and I just start walking, speedwalk back to our room.

MATT: You hear him behind you be like, "Just-- if anyone asks, I was helpful!"

LIAM: Yep, dreamcatchers, you're the man!

MATT: All right.

LIAM: I will make my way back in, and I don't know where they're at, but I will start, float back up to floor two, and I will make the ring of five amber stones in. Could we bring her here, please? If her body is laid into this oval shape, I begin to cast and mutter under my breath, and all five pieces of amber flash, and she glows for a second, and then, you see a quick flash of movement, and she's gone. And I pick up, (sighs) the one with the string on it, and I start to thread my chain through that.

MATT: Easy enough to do. You can just faintly see in the amber this barely visible shaded outline of a body, suspended and miniaturized in the middle of the amber.

TRAVIS: So cool.

SAM: Okay.

LIAM: Swell.

TRAVIS: Tucked safely away. Now, we just need to get out of the building.

MARISHA: Yeah, what's our story?

SAM: We just walk out of the building!

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Do we want to have her walk in a protective circle made by ourselves, or she just teleported out, and we will meet her?

SAM: Why, why does she need to leave? She's feeling ill. We left her in her room.

LAURA: Yeah, but they could check on her. I mean, should we make her--

SAM: Sure, she's not there! She's a super-magic person. She can go wherever she wants to go and do whatever she wants to do.

TRAVIS: That's true.

SAM: They're not going to be, like, "Oh, no, she left without telling us!" She's a crazy magic person!

LIAM: But the next step was we are supposed to leave with our guide on an expedition.

MARISHA: Correct. That's my question, is what do we tell Dagen?

SAM: So, for that, then, yes. Maybe we should have Vess come out and say, "Let go on the journey."

TRAVIS: She could, or we could go out and say, "Lady Vess DeRogna has said that she will meet us at the--" (map rustling) A destination halfway there. Let's call it A5 because it's halfway between A2 and A1 and Balenpost, and she has a lead that she has to pursue right away, and that we must leave without delay, and if he says, "I don't leave without her," then we can do the Major Image or something like that.

LIAM: Perhaps she has some Assembly business that is detaining her for a short time, and she will catch up.

TRAVIS: I can use the map. I can point to it. It is her map, after all.

TALIESIN: Oh boy.

MARISHA: And she's going to use magic to get there? She's going to take that risk? She's decided to do that?

LAURA: She's very powerful.

TALIESIN: It's risky, but necessary?

TRAVIS: It does mess with magic, but again, urgency.

LAURA: Again, Dagen said he doesn't know anything about it anyway, so--

TRAVIS: Yeah, Sheila, all hail Sheila.

MARISHA: All right!

TRAVIS: All right, I'll-- I'll leave.

MARISHA: Let's do it. You talk, of course.

TRAVIS: Everyone stay in the room. I'll head down and make my way out to the bonfire where Dagen is.

MATT: Okay, Dagen, at the moment, is not at the bonfire.

SAM: Damn it!

TRAVIS: Shitballs, fuck-ass! Was he downstairs when I was passing through?

MATT: No.

SAM: Go tête-à-tête! (laughs)

TRAVIS: Anyone else at the bonfire?

MATT: Not specifically. There are some guards that are near just for the proximity of heat. You know, it's not a huge bonfire, you know. It's just--

TRAVIS: Just a fire.

MATT: Just a small fire.

TRAVIS: Anyone see where Dagen went?

MATT: Two of them point over to this green tent, decent size, that sits near the northeast gate, the gate.

TRAVIS: Thank you. I'll make my way over to the tent. (clears throat) Dagen, are you in?

MATT: "Yeah. (sniffs)"

TRAVIS: Could I trouble you for a moment?

MATT: You hear the sound of wheels pushing through the dirt before the flap opens up, and you see him in the process of cleaning up a bit. He looks like he's washed himself a little bit, and his face is a little damp. He's got a little, like, washcloth right there that's starting to, like, already, ice crystals are starting to hit the edges. He opens up the front. "Are y'all-- y'all looking ready to go?"

TRAVIS: It appears there's been a development with Lady DeRogna. She left with some urgency on Assembly business. She is going to meet us-- and I'll unfold the map that she gave me-- here. She pointed to this red dot labeled A5. Are you familiar with this area?

MATT: "I am indeed."

TRAVIS: She said for us to leave posthaste and to meet her there.

MATT: "She's not coming?"

TRAVIS: She's going to meet us there. I'm afraid it was quite urgent.

MATT: "All right, so are you handling my pay?"

TRAVIS: Indeed. We are good for it.

MATT: "All right, so long as someone's paying me. I don't care who we're escorting."

TRAVIS: I'll gather the rest. Be ready to go in five minutes, perhaps?

MATT: "Eh, give me seven."

TRAVIS: Seven it is. We'll meet you back here at your fine tent.

MATT: "(sniffs) Damn right."

TRAVIS: Do we need to collect anything? No, on foot, okay. Good, good talk! And I just start heading back. (laughter)

MATT: You hear him behind you going, "He's weird." (laughter) And the flap closes, and he starts gathering his things.

TRAVIS: Make my way up, bum-bum-bum, bum-bum-bum.

LAURA: Wonder how much he's--

TRAVIS: As I pass that second floor, how many guards are on that second floor?

SAM: We'll kill them before we--

MATT: In that general area? Right now, there's six. It's not terribly crowded. Most everyone else is amongst the Balenfort itself.

TRAVIS: Lady DeRogna is not to be disturbed for the next 24 hours. She needs her rest. Again, if you really need something, please do knock quietly. If there is no answer at the door, do not disturb her. Am I clear?

MATT: There's a slight pause. They all look at each other. "Clear." "Clear." "Clear." "Whatever." (laughter)

TRAVIS: I like the "whatever." (laughter) Excellent, I'll go back up, shut the door. Okay, we're good. I think we're good.

TALIESIN: Wait, I got an idea.

MARISHA: What?

TALIESIN: Leave a note.

MARISHA: Huh?

LAURA: Oh, I can forge!

TRAVIS: Yeah, smart.

LAURA: I'll forge something. Do I have any writing from her?

SAM: I don't, but we can look around the room!

LAURA: Yeah, sure.

TRAVIS: And even though they picked her clean and took her shit, there's nothing of hers that we're going to leave behind, right, at all?

LAURA: Any writing. I'm looking for any writing of hers.

MATT: Okay, make an investigation check.

TRAVIS: We have, like, all of her clothes, and all that other shit?

SAM: Want me to help you?

LAURA: Yeah!

SAM: I'll help you look around.

TALIESIN: I mean, any-- I assume we're going to collect anything of hers and throw it in a Bag of Holding.

LIAM: We might find some example of her writing in this room.

MATT: There is very little of her things that have been left behind. Anything that was on her was taken. Anything that she brought with her, which wasn't much, at least from what you could see.

TRAVIS: Just, like, shoes, coats, anything?

MATT: Right, and someone of her personage would probably have a number of other devices upon her to carry more than you see on her, as you guys have the same accessibility elements, but those were taken as well.

LAURA: 18.

MATT: 18. You look throughout the room, and you cannot find anything that is distinctly her handwriting because you don't really know what her handwriting looks like. Most of the books here are written in ink by hand, but they have multiple different types of handwriting, and a lot of them are just hand-copied tomes of all different subjects. You have nothing that you know definitively as her writing.

SAM: Okay, what about this? Not to make you blow spells or anything, but Mr. Caleb, can't you do an illusion that will be triggered upon someone entering, like a hologram or something?

TRAVIS: Just a thought: this map is hers. Did she notate on this map?

SAM: Says a lot of As.

MATT: From what you can tell, the map was not created by her, but some of the notes for the locations, like the excavation points, the handwriting is different, like where it says Aeor, and where the A number, A number is. It's not a lot to go off of, but it's the start.

TALIESIN: Not like anybody here's going to know.

MATT: Right, so there would be a-- the DC would be higher to make it a flawless forgery because you're basing it off of, you know, a handful of letters of the alphabet, and a couple numbers.

LAURA: What kind of a check is that? Is that a perform, what is that?

MATT: For that, that would be a dexterity, and if you're proficient with a forgery kit, then it would be adding a proficiency bonus.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: And I could leave an illusion behind, but I could not do it today.

LAURA: Okay, I'm going to cast Enhance Ability on myself.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I'm going to sit down and I'm going to try to write.

MATT: I assume Cat's Grace, then?

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: All right.

LIAM: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Jester, come here.

LAURA: What?

LIAM: I pull out one of my remaining pearls and place it at your forehead, between your eyes, and geometric patterns begin to form in a circle or a hex around my hand--

LAURA: It's so pretty!

LIAM: -- and I have cast Fate's Touch, so that's a re-roll if you need.

LAURA: Thank you. (paper rustling)

TALIESIN: What are we saying, just so we're clear?

LAURA: Yeah, I need to know that.

SAM: Gone fishing! (laughter)

LIAM: Yep, yep!

LIAM: Fortune's Favor, excuse me.

TALIESIN: Unexpected development, I don't know.

MATT: We knew what you meant.

LIAM: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Something about having to leave on a secret mission.

LIAM: All my pearls are gone!

LAURA: Unexpected Assembly business.

SAM: When the Mighty Nein return, tell them I'm okay.

LAURA: When the Mighty Nein return, send them on to something something.

SAM: Sure.

MARISHA: If we frame it right, it could cover when people find out that she's definitely dead.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: You know, but something drove me to go.

SAM: Oh, like it's a suicide note?

MARISHA: No, no, no, no, no, like, I needed to--

LAURA: We could send a track--

SAM: I hate being one of the bad guys!

LAURA: -- somewhere else.

SAM: I'm going to end it all!

LAURA: To send a track to somewhere else, right? So, like, urgent business in, urgent business has taken me elsewhere. When the Mighty Nein return, send them after me.

SAM: That's it.

MARISHA: That's, yeah.

LAURA: Where, though?

SAM: VD.

MARISHA: I mean, where we're going, right?

TALIESIN: Send them to previously agreed place.

LAURA: Oh, that's a good one!

LIAM: Tell them to--

MARISHA: It's true.

LIAM: -- send me a message.

SAM: Sure.

LIAM: As you so often do.

LAURA: That's good. That's good.

SAM: Yeah, keep it vague, keep it vague.

LAURA: I'm going to write that.

MARISHA: Keep it vague.

LAURA: I'm going to-- Hold on, I'm going to make sure that guiding myself won't cancel that out.

SAM: To make it sound really authentic, though, should it be from the Lavorre--

MATT: You can't guide yourself on top of it.

LAURA: I know.

MATT: Because they're both concentration.

LAURA: That's why I just checked. Yeah, that's what I just checked. I'm like, I'm not going to guide myself, but you can guide me.

TALIESIN: Oh!

SAM: I think you should make it from the Lavorre & Nott law firm, just so that it's extra authentic!

LAURA: No, why?! That doesn't make any sense! (laughter)

TALIESIN: You're guided.

LIAM: Good idea the first time.

LAURA: La-la-la, I'm going to write all those things that we just said.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: (garbled mumbling)

TRAVIS: I just sent you a close-up of the map so you can see.

SAM: Yeah, put a lot of As in this note.

LAURA: (laughs) Yeah. (laughter)

MATT: Haaaay-- Without even spelling it right.

LIAM: Aw, maaan!

TRAVIS: Yeah, Taliesin's next Narrative Telephone.

TALIESIN: (cackles)

TRAVIS: Adorable, atrocious--

SAM: This is ba-na-nas!

MATT: All right. With much magical direction placed upon this forgery attempt with the modicum of example handwriting that you hope is hers, I would like you to go ahead and make your roll.

LAURA: Okay, so, I get--

TRAVIS: I'll assist you! No.

LAURA: I get advantage.

MARISHA: Guidance!

LAURA: And I'm guided.

MATT: Right, so, you have your proficiency bonus to it, which is five, I believe?

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: And then what's your dex bonus?

LAURA: Plus four.

MATT: Plus four, so that's plus nine to what you roll. That's pretty good.

TRAVIS: With advantage.

LAURA: Yes, with advantage.

MATT: Advantage and one re-roll, if you need it.

LAURA: Oh god!

TALIESIN: And a d4.

LIAM: You are the greatest trickster that has ever walked the earth.

LAURA: (muttering) Hell yeah, hold on. Whoa! Hold on.

LAURA: That's 29.

ALL: Ooh!

MARISHA: Sexy!

LAURA: Without re-rolling.

TRAVIS: One shy, one shy. I think it's a 30.

LAURA: Should I try to use my--?

SAM: Your re-roll?

LIAM: I mean, you have to think--

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: -- would you use it later today?

SAM: No!

LIAM: Probably not.

LAURA: Okay, okay.

MATT: It's up to you.

LAURA: But if I use it, does that cancel out the--

TRAVIS: I mean, can you roll higher?

LAURA: Could I use it if I want to, but--

LIAM: Yeah, you can use it if you want.

TRAVIS: Can you roll higher than 29?

SAM: Oh, wait, you can't add his stuff to this roll.

TALIESIN: You can.

SAM: You can?

MATT: It's the same check, technically.

SAM: Oh, okay. Do it!

LIAM: Choose which of the d20s to use.

LAURA: Okay, I'm going to stick with 29.

MATT: Okay, you complete the forgery, feeling pretty damn good with the work you did.

LAURA: Okay.

TRAVIS: Pretty damn good.

LAURA: We're going to leave--

SAM: And squirt a little perfume on it.

MATT: You're impressed. With what little you're able to pull from this, you're, like--

LAURA: It's looking good.

MARISHA: Little lipstick smear on the corner.

MATT: If adventuring wasn't working, and the Gentleman was looking, you have a bright future.

TRAVIS: Fake IDs, baby!

MATT: Yeah. So you feel confident that this'll probably work.

LAURA: Okay, now--

SAM: Now let's get outta here.

LAURA: We made sure 100% there's no blood left in this room.

SAM: We cleaned up everything. We put it in a trunk. Should we take the blood-soaked stuff and put it in our Bag of Holding?

MARISHA: 100%.

LAURA: Yes.

MARISHA: Take everything.

TALIESIN: Taking everything with us.

MARISHA: We check under the bed. We make sure there's no spare socks.

LAURA: Take all of her stuff that she left.

MARISHA: No plushies have gotten knocked under the bed.

MATT: Whoever's keeping track of the contents of the Bag of Holding, write "bloody DeRogna remnants."

LIAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Oh, that's me!

LAURA: That's you? (laughs)

MATT: That's you.

LIAM: It's just her bathroom bag.

MATT: Right.

MARISHA: Yeah, toiletries.

SAM: We'll dump it in a dumpster on the way out of town.

MARISHA: (laughs) Oh jeez, this is dark!

SAM: (laughs)

LIAM: Terrible. Not just throw in a snowdrift in the middle of the tundra somewhere.

SAM: (laughs) Nope!

LAURA: This is going in the fire river for sure.

SAM: Oh, yeah.

LIAM: (flame whooshes)

TALIESIN: Can't solve all of our problems by throwing them into the fire river.

LAURA: Yes, you can, Caduceus. You can!

SAM: All right, so it's been seven minutes. We should meet up with what's his name, Dagen?

TALIESIN: Yeah, let's go.

MARISHA: Oh, lord.

MATT: All right.

LIAM: It'll be an awkward conversation with Dagen later.

TALIESIN: In a couple days.

LAURA: We'll figure it out.

MARISHA: There's going to be, like, 30 awkward conversations because of this.

LIAM: Just, you know, he likes his drinks, so we could just keep him in the sweet middle ground.

MARISHA: A little hazy all the time?

TRAVIS: To be fair, I think he only cared about being paid.

LIAM: Ja.

TALIESIN: Do we have the infinite flask?

LAURA: How much does he get paid?

TRAVIS: I didn't ask.

MATT: You did not ask.

LAURA: Well, she was going to pay us 75,000 gold, so.

TALIESIN: We'll find out!

LAURA: We're not going to get that anymore.

LIAM: She's not anymore.

MARISHA: Oh man. Hadn't thought that far!

TRAVIS: Aww, why'd we have to do that!

MARISHA: I hadn't thought that far ahead. Yeah, that sucks!

TRAVIS: Matthew!

LIAM: (laughs)

MATT: Hey, I wasn't, I wasn't hired to keep her safe!

TRAVIS: It feels like the end of Se7en, where we missed the-- (groans)

LIAM: But hey, guys, adventure!

TALIESIN: That is, on a certain level, the perfect alibi. We just lost out on a ton of money. (laughter)

LIAM: That's true, that's fair. Maybe we should still get, like, a third, though.

LAURA: We can't feel that bad, though. She did torture your husband.

SAM: Yeah, I'm super-stoked right now!

ASHLEY: True, true, true!

MATT: (laughs)

SAM: I literally wrote down in my notebook, "Kill Vess!" (laughter)

TRAVIS: Good, good.

TALIESIN: That's a weird dream diary you have. (laughter)

MATT: It's just a bunch of things that she wants to kill.

TRAVIS: You could send a message to your husband, letting him know you completed the task.

SAM: Yeah. (laughs)

MATT: All right, so you guys just exit down the stairs on the way out?

TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Lock the door. We don't have a key.

MARISHA: Do do-do do-do.

MATT: All right, as you all--

TRAVIS: Do you have the dagger? (clicks tongue)

SAM: I do have the dagger. I could use it.

TRAVIS: Lock it.

SAM: I'd have to re-attune to it. It'll take an hour.

MATT: You can do that if you want to.

LIAM: Don't we want it to be opened, though?

MATT: If you un-attune from it, it does unlock.

SAM: Then forget it, won't work.

TRAVIS: It's fine.

SAM: Unless we really want it locked, because I can do it.

TALIESIN: No, that's-- we're going.

LIAM: No, 'cause she's going. She's left.

TALIESIN: Yeah, she's left.

TRAVIS: We have 24 hours. They're not going to disturb that door.

LIAM: Yeah, she's not going to magically lock a door when she left.

MATT: As the door opens, you can hear there's conversation about the various denizens of the second floor, but as soon as the door opens, they get quiet, and you guys walk down. They're all sitting there with their cards, just watching you go by, a little intimidated by what you represent and--

TRAVIS: I just stop and eyeball them as everyone else walks past.

MATT: They just cough and go back to their card game quietly.

LAURA: Is Kieron there?

MATT: Not in that place, no. You do make your way down to the base of Balenpost Fort, exit out into the freezing cold courtyard between the tall, wooden log walls, now almost oppressive with the knowledge you have, and all the eyes around you that occasionally glance your direction, naturally, as they would, but yet seem almost boring through you, yet you continue forward to the edge of the bonfire, where you see there is Dagen, prepared, bundled, armored, big, thick coat on, strapped into his chair, which you now see has these metallic pieces of sheet metal on each side that have some sort of contraption set up within that curve upward at the front, and as you approach, he spins around, looks towards you, goes, "All right. You ready to go see some crazy shit?" (laughter)

LIAM: That sounded so fucking crazy coming out of your mouth right now. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Yes, yes!

SAM: Yes, let's do it!

LIAM: Ja.

TALIESIN: When you put it that way.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Absolutely.

MATT: "First half payment up front."

SAM: Oh! Oh, how much was it again?

MATT: That would be--

LIAM: Oh, boy.

SAM: 25,000?

LIAM: This could be real bad.

MATT: "1,000 gold up front."

TRAVIS: Oh.

MATT: "2,000 upon completion."

TRAVIS: Yep.

TALIESIN: We can do that.

LAURA: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SAM: Sure, sure.

LIAM: I mean, I can't do that, but some of you can.

SAM: Stab 'em in the throat! (laughter)

TALIESIN: How much are you doing?

TRAVIS: I have--

LAURA: I don't have--

SAM: I can, yeah.

LIAM: I'm broke.

LAURA: I can put in a couple hundred.

MARISHA: I'll throw in 500.

TALIESIN: I'll throw in the other 500.

MARISHA: All right, done and done with Caduceus and me.

MATT: He takes the coins. He tucks them into one of his numerous pouches in the back of the chair and goes, "All right. Come on, before it gets too cold," and he wheels around and starts heading towards the gate. You can see the guards on the side begin to step back, and slowly, the heavy, creaking sound and impact (creaking), grinding noise, as the gates open and push into the dirt and snow, and there beyond, you can see the cold, white and blue horizon of the rest of Eiselcross awaiting you.

LAURA: I have a bad feeling about this.

TRAVIS: Nice.

MATT: As you step through the gates, the snow hitting your face, the bursts of freezing cold wind biting through, (inhales, exhales) you take a deep breath, itself very plainly visible as it escapes from between your teeth, and make your way north. That's where we going to end tonight's session. Pick up next episode.

TRAVIS: This has been a fucking roller coaster.

LIAM: Caleb clutches the secretary of state in his necklace. (laughter)

LIAM: And just walks out into the snow. (laughs)

TRAVIS: What did you do? What did you make, and then you let it die?

TALIESIN: Wait, what? (laughter)

LIAM: You're Taliesin!

MARISHA: True, you made a nuke, and then you died, and you left the nuke in the middle of a field somewhere.

TALIESIN: It's everything I ever wanted.

TRAVIS: You didn't tell anybody?!

TALIESIN: I mean, I told Matt.

TRAVIS: You did tell Matt.

TALIESIN: I mean, not much, but, you know.

MATT: He doesn't know.

MARISHA: If Beau would've died--

LAURA: (laughs) He doesn't.

MATT: He has no idea.

TALIESIN: I have no fucking clue. Very specifically, I have no clue.

TRAVIS: Very specifically!

MATT: He gave me a blank slate.

TRAVIS: Uh-huh, okay.

LIAM: Yeah. You get real Eddie Izzard vibes, though.

TALIESIN: Here are the clues to it. I don't know what I'm going to find.

LIAM: I'm getting Eddie Izzard vibes with the--

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah.

MATT: Straight up, straight up. (groans)

TRAVIS: A miner, not a minor.

TRAVIS and LIAM: A miner.

MATT: (cackles)

TRAVIS: We really should've done a better job of protecting.

MATT: Nah, it's all good.

MARISHA: I'm so mad that I was sitting here, being like, "What does it all mean?" And he was, like, "It means he's upstairs."

LAURA: I mean, she probably would've been dead. She probably, even if we had gone upstairs.

TALIESIN: 25 feet away.

MARISHA: It means he's 25 feet away is what it meant.

LIAM: He'd already fucking done it by the time you started talking to him. He'd already done it.

LAURA: Who knows? She could've been dead for, you know, an hour when I scryed on him.

TRAVIS: Maybe that wasn't her at dinner at all.

SAM: We don't know.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: It's true.

SAM: All I know is I want to read the poem.

MATT: Right? (laughter)

TALIESIN: Actually, she would've known that there was an account, so the offer to pay for dinner wouldn't have--

LAURA: (gasps)

TALIESIN: I mean, in what world would she not have gone, "There is no paid dinner."

LAURA: You're right. It was Molly all along.

ASHLEY: (gasps)

LAURA: Lucien all along.

TALIESIN: It's an interesting theory.

TRAVIS: We're grasping at everything.

TALIESIN: I'm just going to put that out there.

MATT: Yes, you are. But nevertheless.

SAM: Wait, he ate vegetables! Like Molly did! (laughter)

LAURA: She grabbed a bottle of wine like Molly did.

SAM: Oh, shit! She's Molly.

TRAVIS: The fuck. If we'd just walked her back to her room, man.

TALIESIN: Lucien basically did the exact same thing we just did. I mean, I'm just pointing that out, that it was, like-- the worst thing is we're "Weekend at Bernie's 2." We're not even the original "Weekend at Bernie's."

LIAM: Very cool.

MATT: We'll have to put together a proper soundtrack for you.

TRAVIS: Did he watch us land at the dock and come into the fort, and was just tracking us the whole time from when we landed at port?

ASHLEY and LAURA: Probably.

TALIESIN: No one knew about a purple-- I don't know.

TRAVIS: We asked.

TALIESIN: We asked around a little bit.

LAURA: He could've been in disguise the whole time.

LIAM: We don't know who or what he really is, what his abilities are.

TRAVIS: Yeah, and he's with--

TALIESIN: Are we recording? I don't even know anymore.

TRAVIS: Black cat.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: But he did see me scrying.

TALIESIN: Oh my god.

SAM: Save it for "Talks," guys, save it for "Talks!"

MATT: Indeed!

LIAM: We're throwing illusions around.

MATT: Nevertheless, welcome to Eiselcross, motherfuckers. (cheering)

MATT: Thank you for joining us. Very, very happy Halloween to all of you.

ALL: Yeah!

MATT: We love you very much, and is it Thursday yet? Good night! (smacking) (howling)

MARISHA: Okay, House Red!