Transcript:Trial of the Take: Part 2

List of Transcripts

Pre-Show
MATT: Welcome back to Critical Role this week, ladies and gentlemen, where a bunch of us awesome voice actors get together and play Dungeons and Dragons weekly. We have the return of some of our fantastic guests from last week, but we’ll get to them in just a second. But first, let’s go ahead and get you started with our fancy intro.

[dramatic music]

MATT: Welcome back! (giggles) Welcome back. We got most everyone here right now. Travis is on his way. He flew all the way from Alaska, and thanks to some delays– weather and everything– he’s getting here as fast as he can, so we may have a Grog arriving a little late during today’s session. Pretty late for today’s session. But in the meantime, our illustrious Laura Bailey will be controlling Grog.

LAURA: (Grog voice) I would like to rage!

MATT: Excited for that prospect. It should be a lot of fun. So also want to thank you again, our invited guests returning for their second week. We have Felicia Day and Mary Elizabeth McGlynn. Thank you, guys.

MARY: Pleasure is mine.

LAURA and MARY: Pleasure.

FELICIA: Pleasure. I smell like peanut butter.

MATT: That’s delightful.

FELICIA: That’s why I smelled my fingers earlier.

MARY: Is this a normal thing, or just today?

FELICIA: I just was like, hi! (sniffs)

SAM: That’s normally how people greet me.

FELICIA: If you smelled like grape jelly, we would be BFFs! Anyway, hi.

MATT: So welcome back. Well, cool. Before we get into it, a couple of quick announcements. One. For every 100 subs that we get during the show tonight, we’ll be giving away our packages that include a picture of the Critical Role cast, signed, a Player’s Handbook for Dungeons and Dragons, signed by the cast of Critical Role. We’ll also be giving away a copy of Felicia’s awesome new book that she’s about to go on a book tour for.

(cheering)

SAM: And it doesn’t look like some self-published thing, that looks like a real– whoa!

FELICIA: Not to insult self-published things, but it’s legit. There is a sparkle on my dress. That is a very high-class sparkle.

SAM: Does it have a barcode on it?

FELICIA: That is an android, that’s why I look so trim there. Yeah, but the book’s coming out on Tuesday! So I’ll be going on book tour, so if you guys want to come see me, I’m going to 12 cities. Sorry Midwest. I’m sorry. You’re so angry at me. Anyway, thank you, yeah.

MATT: Awesome, cool, well you guys get some copies of that coming through. We also have a bunch of other random goodies we’ll be throwing in with these packages that include other awesome DND stuff and comics and it’ll be a little surprise, so for every 100 subscribers, we’ll be giving one of those packages away, so that’ll be fun. Also wanted to do a quick announcement for one of our friends recently put up a project here. Marisha, if you want to do the intro.

MARISHA: Yes! Hi everybody. Okay, so. Boonzy Arts– they make geeky candles. They have a Kickstarter right now called Wheel of Flame, and they’re making essentially DND thematic immersive candles that smell like the environments that you’re in! This one is Dragon’s Lair and it’s smoky and musky.

MATT: We’re going to be lighting this tonight.

LAURA: Is there moldy dungeon smell?

MARISHA: They’re coming out with a few more because their Kickstarter’s doing pretty well.

MATT: Basement tavern refuse candle.

TALIESIN: Ogre’s nest.

MARISHA: I think they’re making a tavern one.

SAM: Bed crap?

(laughter)

MATT: That’s a Critical Role exclusive. The Scanlan offshoot.

MARISHA: Yeah, I think they have one that’s Elven Forest, that smells like a forest and they have one that’s Sorcerer’s Lair, that smells like sage and stuff. But yeah, Wheel of Flame is their Kickstarter. Go check them out, I know they have a limited amount of candles they can give out. Also, there’s a d20 hidden in every candle, so when the wax melts, you get a d20!

LAURA: That’s lovely.

MARISHA: So yeah! Check them out. Wheel of Flame.

MATT: Great. Thank you, Marisha.

(cheering)

MATT: So much flame. So yeah, for all you guys who pay the extra subscription dollars for the smell-o-vision twitch stream, you will be able to also experience the sensory death of the party.

LAURA: Why would you say that?

MATT: You guys picked it. But yeah, so that’s actually pretty cool. Hopefully there’s not a flammable d20 in there somewhere. That would be problematic.

FELICIA: That was weird.

SAM: That happens all the time.

FELICIA: Is it really just random kiss-bys? Drive-by kiss?

MATT: Two weeks in a row. We already have a winner?

ZAC: PrimeJohn1.

MATT: PrimeJohn1 is our first winner! Congratulations, PrimeJohn1.

SAM: PJ Uno!

FELICIA: Did you have to rename him?

SAM: Well, I gave him a nickname to the nickname.

FELICIA: That’s really adorable. It’s a sub-nickname.

SAM: A sub-nick!

(laughter)

FELICIA: It’ll eventually just be like (grunts).

MATT: Awesome, so let’s go ahead and jump in here. Anyone else have any other announcements they want to say before we get into the game?

LAURA: Travis and I will be in Vancouver next weekend. Not this coming weekend, but the weekend after. But we’re not going to be here next week, so yeah, should say that.

MATT: Awesome, so in Vancouver?

LAURA: It’s a con. And you should come say hi.

MATT: In Vancouver.

LAURA: In Vancouver. Go look at my Twitter. You’ll see what it is about.

MATT: There you go. Vancouver convention. Laura and Travis; it’s going to be awesome. Also, me and Marisha are flying out early morning tomorrow to a convention called AkaiCon that’s over in Tennessee, so we’ll be there this weekend. So if any of you guys are over there on the eastern seaboard and that vicinity that want to come say hi and hang out with us for the weekend, we have a bunch of fun panels and stuff, so. AkaiCon. Come say hi.

FELICIA: That smells delicious. I want to eat it. Or is that you? No, it’s not you.

SAM: No, I rubbed peanut butter all over my chest.

(laughs)

MATT: Homeopathic VapoRub, really.

SAM: Oh wow, I do smell it now. Yeah, that’s nice.

TALIESIN: Nothing fun right now.

FELICIA: Does it smell like ogre butt, because isn’t that what we’re doing? Troll butt?

MATT: Oh, and I also wanted to give a big thanks out to Obsidian! They actually approved my use of the Pillars of Eternity soundtrack in our music for the show. So now I’ll be able to use elements of their soundtrack for our game, so thank you guys.

Part I
MATT: And I guess, let’s get into this game. So. Where we left off. Our party of adventurers, Vox Machina, had broken a few rules in the city of Vasselheim and had actually infracted upon a contract for a guild of creature hunters known as the Slayer’s Take. And this group essentially told Vox Machina that either they could go and be arrested for this and put on trial for breaking the law, or they could go and join the guild, as such could be included and written onto the contract and everything would be fine. So they decided to go that route. They inquired with the Huntmaster, and she basically told the party that they could join after they went through a trial where they had to complete a contract. However, she hand-chose and divided the party into two separate, smaller groups. The first group being the one that began playing with us last week, in which we had the illustrious Scanlan, Percy, Vex, and Grog paired up with two new adventurers, one of which was Zahra the tiefling warlock, who also is a prospective interested person to join the guild, the Slayer’s Take, and Felicia’s character, Lyra, the human wizard, who somehow became a member of the guild and is assigned on her first-ever excursion to lead this group towards the end of their contract. Now, you the audience chose the creature which they were going to hunt, and you voted on an adult white dragon. So they’ve been hunting that.

LAURA: I didn’t realize the audience chose that.

FELICIA: Thanks, guys.

(laughter)

MATT: So after stalking your way up the Glasswalk Road to the north of the city of Vasselheim, through the Vesper Timberlands, through the cold weather as you continue to travel northward on the word of a crazed gentleman in a tavern somewhere who supposedly saw a dragon, you managed to knock over your flask. You managed to see such a dragon skulking through the skies and actually attacking near where you were staying. While you were sleeping, a group of orcs and some ogrish creature and a dire wolf, attacked your group, you managed to slaughter the encroaching evils, rather rapidly in a daring display of butt-flap long-john Percy.

(laughter)

MATT: Some majestic combat prowess you guys managed to completely eliminate. You interrogated one of the orcs before Grog decided to take his head off. It pushed you north, north-west direction within the forest itself. You managed to come upon what looked to be a perpetual blizzard that was blowing around this mountain range, and the dragon was sighted again taking its rest to the north part of this mountain. You pushed through the forest, managed to avoid a few possible dangerous situations, thanks to your ranger guiding you through her favored terrain, eventually coming upon the base of this mountain range. Now, you looked above and you saw what looked like the entrance to a cavern where at least the dragon seems to fly in and out of. It’s a ways up the mountain, and there was a smaller cavern towards the base of the mountain. You went to inquire what was in there, at which point out of nowhere, a giant rock made of solid ice and stone was flung out of the forest, slamming into Vex, knocking her onto her ass and doing a decent amount of physical damage.

LAURA: 30. 30 points.

MATT: 30 points physical damage to the ranger, at which point two frost giants seemed to, one coming out of that cavern, another seemed to be stalking through the woods, approached the party and that is where we left off. So to begin this, I would like everyone to roll initiative.

FELICIA: But they’re friendly. They look friendly.

SAM: Let’s try reasoning with them. Whoa! That’s not bad

FELICIA: I’m not going to go last this time! (gasps)

SAM: There’s a lot of gasping going on.

FELICIA: It’s not horrible but it’s not (sharp gasp).

MATT: All right, so.

SAM: Wait, does Travis not–

MATT: Roll for Grog.

LAURA: Roll for Grog.

MATT: Roll for Grog’s initiative.

LAURA: I rolled 18 for me. Oh, that’s good. 19 for Grog.

MATT: All right, so we have 25 to 20, anyone?

TALIESIN: 28.

LAURA: What?!

SAM: He rolled a natural 20.

TALIESIN: I rolled another natural 20.

LAURA: Those dice are magic.

TALIESIN: I sacrificed a small child to these dice.

MATT: So Percy’s up first. Anybody else above 20?

FELICIA: I rolled a 20, but I have a negative two initiative.

MATT: Okay. 19 or 18?

LAURA: 19 for Grog. 18 for Vex.

MATT: And also for Lyra.

FELICIA: 18 buddies.

MATT: (chuckling) That’s sweet. So 15 to ten?

SAM: 15.

LAURA: These are pretty good initiatives.

MARY: 13.

SAM: Hey, then we’re all above 13, it’s pretty good! This bodes well.

MARY: I have no initiative whatsoever.

(laughter)

MATT: All right, that’ll do. So at the top of the round as one giant has pulled itself out of the cavern and begins shouting over in Giant about the intruders. The secondary one that comes stalking out of the forest, both of them with these giant axes that are currently held on the side of leather belts (roars) give a bellowing scream and go charging into the fray. At the top of the round, though, Percy is ready. What have you got?

TALIESIN: What is that strange orange thing, right here?

MATT: This is actually a tree.

TALIESIN: That’s a tree. Okay, good. So that’s cover?

MATT: Yeah. This rock and these boulders here have some cover, but from a giant who has a very large perspective maybe not as much as you’d think.

TALIESIN: Okay, so is there any way I can maybe get some partial cover right over here?

MATT: You could move over this way, yes.

TALIESIN: Yeah. So I’ve got cover from the tree from this one until he moves, but I can see this guy?

MATT: Correct.

TALIESIN: It is Bad News time! I’m going to bust out Bad News and take a shot.

MATT: All right, so. Rip out Bad News, uses one of your attacks, second attack prepares it. You’re ready to fire, go ahead and shoot.

TALIESIN: All right. They’re pretty big, so I’m going to take the negative five to my attack bonus and see what that does. That’s a 21.

MATT: 21 will hit.

TALIESIN: That’s a good shot. Oh yeah! That’s 17, 27, plus– 33 points of damage.

MATT: 33 points of damage? Nice. So you hear this loud, ringing explosion that echoes through this small valley at the base of the mountain, and from out the corner of your eye, it’s the first time you’ve seen this weapon do its wonders. You see a flash of light, a plume of smoke goes up and you see this impossibly fast blast of some projectile go slamming into the shoulder of the giant over here that’s currently reaching for a rock. It pushes him back against the wall, which prevents him from falling over and he catches himself. Looks back, and you can see there’s a small crater in the armor where a little bit of blood begins to pour out, and a little bit of smoke seems to be pouring out of the impact. (snarls and yells) Gives out a really angry yell. You can see like spittle that begins to shake loose and spray from his mouth out of frustration. That the end of your turn?

TALIESIN: That is the end of my turn. Yeah. I am now going, maybe I shouldn’t have done that.

(laughter)

FELICIA: It was very impressive. It was very impressive.

MATT: All right, Grog’s up first.

LAURA: (Grog voice) Grog–

SAM: (Grog voice) Would like–

LAURA: (Grog voice) No, Grog doesn’t want to Rage! Grog shouts out in Giant, wait! My giant masters were killed by a white dragon, which we think is here. Will you help us fight him?

MATT: Okay. So as Grog stands there, shouting this out to both sides to the two giants, I want to have Grog go ahead and roll a persuasion check.

LAURA: Okay. I am going to use Grog’s dice.

MATT: Yes. Let’s do this proper. This is customary.

LAURA: It is proper. Wait. Okay. That’s not his, that is mine.

TALIESIN: (Grog voice) I would like to negotiate.

LAURA: Okay. Well that is good. He is really happy that I am playing him, because I rolled a one for Grog.

SAM: It might work.

(laughter)

LAURA: I think I should not– okay. Wait!

MARY: Doesn’t Grog get two actions or no?

LAURA: That’s his action.

MATT: He is not putting up any aggressive action.

LAURA: Does he get advantage, however, because he is speaking Giant and he’s in the cold?

MATT: No.

(laughter)

MATT: Because you have an entire band of seemingly advancing and armed individuals that are currently stalking towards what appears to be the home of these individuals. So unfortunately no. They seem unfazed, and the one at the back seems almost partially amused at this plea and you can see as he takes his axe and puts it up against his shoulder and runs it across the leather in a very aggressive, intimidating fashion as he stalks forward out of the forest.

LAURA: (Grog voice) Can Grog move at all?

MATT: Yeah, would you like Grog to move? It would be easier.

LAURA: (Grog voice) Where is he?

MATT: He is right here. He is hard to miss. Where would you like Grog to move? There is a giant rock there.

LAURA: He is going to stay there.

MATT: Okay. Grog is going to stay up against the rock. His axe across the front. Right, that ends Grog’s turn. Vex, you’re up.

(laughter)

LAURA: A moment of silence for that horrible thing I just witnessed.

MATT: You are over here. You just got up off the ground after being slammed with a boulder, and you have Trinket there.

LAURA: I am very hurt. Can I get up? Am I prone?

MATT: In the process you’ve gotten to your feet as they lurched forward and began shouting at each other about the intruders. So you are on your feet.

LAURA: Okay. I am going to cast Hunter’s Mark.

MATT: Hunter’s Mark. On?

LAURA: On the one that took a little damage already. And then I am going to shoot him. All these are for like really large groups of people. I am going to shoot him three times. Can I shoot him three times?

MATT: You have two attacks.

LAURA: I’m going to shoot him two times. This was good times. This was fun, you guys. 14 for that. That probably doesn’t hit. 14 also doesn’t hit the second time. Oh my god! What is happening?!

(laughter)

SAM: She just disappeared!

MARY: Vex! Vex, stay with us! Vex!

MATT: So as you get to your feet, you look over your shoulder, you point your finger out and as you squint down, you use your ranger focus to make sure this guy is your quarry, and you take a quick scope of his body parts. You’re like, those are the areas that will make him weakest. As you go to pull your arrow, you can feel a kink in your shoulder. The impact of the rock seems to have affected you. You release the first arrow and it’s just slightly off mark. The second one you pull back and as you release it, it actually splinters off his shield as he knocks it out of the air.

LAURA: I am going to run over to cover. What is that other side?

MATT: That is one of the mountain outcroppings.

LAURA: Yeah, I am going to hide in that little thing and go, Trinket hide with me.

MATT: Okay, Trinket moves up. (bear moan) All right, and that’s your turn.

LAURA: That’s all of it.

MATT: (laughs) All right, Lyra, you’re up.

FELICIA: Okay, I am freaked out right now. These are very large individuals. I have only read about them, and they smell slightly like feet. So I am going to– that is a stench. That is like an athlete’s foot commercial waiting to happen. So I am going to take 10d6 and do Disintegrate.

MATT: Go for it.

FELICIA: I mean, it seems excessive, but they’re very large men! One, two, three, four, five– That one, he looks like a bull. In the nether-regions.

MATT: So which one, this one or this one?

FELICIA: I don’t think I can reach that guy.

MATT: What’s the distance on it?

FELICIA: Oh boy.

MATT: At your spell sheet.

FELICIA: I should’ve written that down. Disintegrate. Oh, there it is! 60 feet.

MATT: 60 feet? Yeah, they’re both within range.

FELICIA: Oh gosh, well I should probably hit the wounded one. That always makes RPG sense, right?

MATT: So for that one, do you have to make an actual spell attack roll?

FELICIA: No, I don’t. I think it’s force damage.

MATT: That’s right. You just point at it and he has to roll a saving throw.

FELICIA: Oh yay! Look at that! Six! Six! Six!

SAM: Well, don’t say that.

(laughter)

MATT: All this time trying to fight the stigma of DND, and there we go.

MARY: Talking to my people here!

FELICIA: All right. That’s 20 plus– now you’re all staring at me! 30, 40 points of damage!

SAM: Whoa!

MATT: That’s a total of 40? Plus 40?

FELICIA: 40 plus 40.

MATT: Yeah, Disintegrate. And he failed his saving throw.

TALIESIN: Yeah!

FELICIA: In your anus! That’s what she yells, she’s like, in your anus!

MATT: So as she shouts, she points her finger out, there’s a little poof of arcane energy on her finger, and a tiny, sickly green ray of energy just streaks forth from her finger. The giant looks at it awkwardly, and in the split second it hits him in the front of his chest and suddenly the armor in front of him turns to dust and you can see his flesh beginning to just disappear in front of him (gasps) and suddenly tries to gasp for air, as you see part of its jaw beginning to just turn to sand, and it’s actually struggling in a series of pain, and it’s still standing, but you can see a large part of its body now is just missing. It looks like it got– it’s almost like a portion of it rotted right before you, but there’s no actual necrosis. It’s just gone. Flesh is missing from a large part of its body. It looks like it’s doing really poorly. It lurches forward, and one of its arms is not working as well and it looks at you with a look of confusion, frustration and “how could you?.” It’s incredulous in its torturous pain.

FELICIA: And I go, (gibberish) in Giant and it’s the only thing I know in Giant, and I think it says, you are my foe, and I actually say, my cat is your friend.

MATT: Its head turns even further to the side as the tongue lolls out of where the cheek once was.

FELICIA: Take that!

MATT: (chuckles) Its angry white eyes glaring aggressively at you. Do you wish to move, or would you like to stay where you are?

FELICIA: Oh, I think I’m going to duck behind that little outcropping I have.

MATT: Over here?

FELICIA: Yeah, no, behind that little rock– oh, where am I? Oh, I’m over there. Yeah, I’m going to get– oh boy. Just stand there, I’m just too flushed right now. I can’t go anywhere. This is too situational for me

MATT: All right. Well, (chuckles) this very unhappy giant is going to reach over with his one good arm, the other one’s clutching the axe, it reaches over and grabs another rock off the ground that it can find nearby and (whoosh) flings it at you.

FELICIA: I should have moved!

(laughter)

MATT: That is a 16. What’s your armor class?

FELICIA: 13.

MATT: Yeah. You, unable to really move out of the way, you look over and just watch it come toward you as it slowly spins in the air. Time seems to slow as you make no intent to shift out of the way. (whack) It slams into you, physical pain not hitting in as the immediate look of– the sight of white, your vision is knocked to nothingness briefly. You end up taking–

MARY: No, Lyra, no.

MATT: Okay, you take 32 points of bludgeoning damage.

FELICIA: Whoa! That is a very intense amount of damage for a tiny woman. Okay.

LAURA: You should avoid those boulders in the future.

MATT: And as soon as you recover from it, your vision clarifies and you’re able to see everything before you, and you see that same giant is stalking up, right into your face, with its axe in its bad hand. It switches it into its good hand and rears it up preparing itself for another round. That ends that giant’s turn. It’s going to go five, six and move in between the two of you. You guys, Zahra and Scanlan, as you see this happening you hear the (heavy steps) heavy footfalls behind you, and you look over your shoulder as the second giant comes up with the shield in one arm. Axe is going to go ahead and giant swing towards the two of you. That is going to be a 19 to hit on you, Scanlan.

SAM: Oh yeah.

MATT: And Zahra, that is going to be a– that’s a 25. All right.

(laughter)

MATT: 27 points of slashing damage to you, Scanlan. Ooh. All right. And that is 31 points of slashing damage to you, Zahra. As it just (whack), cleaves through the both of you. You are almost knocked off your feet from the sheer blow. Most of the armor takes the damage but you can feel a heavy bruise, and underneath your armor you can feel a little bit of the blood beginning to soak through from the severe impact. Part of the armor plating might have cut into part of your torso (grunts) but you right yourself there. That ends their turn. That brings us to Scanlan.

SAM: Okay. Hey, question. If I hold a turn, do I hold the whole turn? Can I hold my action but do the bonus action? How does it work?

MATT: You got to take all your turn at once. You can hold your initiative. Meaning you can wait to activate your turn later in the tier, but you can’t piecemeal your actions.

SAM: Okay, then I am going to just move. I am going to act. I am going to do things. So I turn to the guy who just hit me, and I am going to cast Dominate Person on him. I will sing some sort of song to dominate him with.

MATT: I will say, Dominate Person is effective against humanoids.

SAM: (gasps) Really?!

MATT: Dominate Monster would be–

SAM: They’re not humanoid?

MATT: They are not. They are considered giants. They are a different species. You would know that.

SAM: I would know that. Well, then, I guess I won’t do that.

MATT: You turn, and your instinct is there, and you’re like, these are a little out of your reach as far as that spell is concerned.

SAM: Okay.

(laughter)

MARY: It is a very short show tonight.

SAM: Yeah. Okay, well, then we just die.

(laughter)

MATT: You’ve got options!

SAM: Yeah, no, I have options. I’ll be fine. Should I go for the guy who– I’ll do (blows raspberry). I’ll cast Lightning Bolt on him. That’s always a good go-to.

MATT: So as you fumble with the idea of what spell would work, you release a bolt of lightning up towards it. It streaks into the front of its chest and shoulder area. You can see its muscles tense and shake from the sheer amount of electricity that courses into it. It does not make that saving throw, not with a five. So go ahead and roll your damage.

SAM: Is it six or eight?

MATT: It’s 8d6.

SAM: Thank you! Okay. Six, six, four. What is that?

FELICIA: Six.

SAM: Oh, really? Oh, that’s awesome! Now I lost track. 32.

MATT: 32 points of damage. Nice! So as you release the torrent of electrical energy, it courses through the body and ends up streaking off into the snowy, blizzardy sky behind the giant from the upward angle. It (grunts) shakes from the impact, and then rights itself and looks down at you with a really angry face. You can see as it opens its mouth, this light blue and dark teeth on the bottom of its beard-covered jaw. Mist and steam tend to pour out of its mouth. But not like heated steam, this is like a cold air itself that it seems to emanate from it. Its pale whitish-blue hair, slightly framing its form. Up close, at its sheer size, this is a very intimidating creature, as it just stares down looming over you, now with smoke pouring off its shoulder where you impacted it with the Lightning Bolt. Do you want to do any–

SAM: I would like to inspire our new fellow, Zahra, with a quick little ditty. (singing) Ooh, you so scary, ooh, you so scary, ooh, you so scary. You fighty long time.

(laughter)

MATT: All right. So you go ahead and take a d10 inspiration dice. Which means, whenever you have to roll an attack roll or saving throw, you can add a d10 to the result you get if you don’t think it’s going to make it. You don’t roll it now, but you just have it on reserve whenever you want to use it.

MARY: Love it.

SAM: And if I move away from him he’ll hit me?

MATT: He’ll get an attack of opportunity, yes.

SAM: Can I snuggle between his legs and maybe he’ll forget I’m there?

FELICIA: He’s hung like a horse.

TALIESIN: You’re going to hit yourself in the head

MARY: Swing on it, man. Swing on it.

(laughter)

MARY: Yes! Yes, Scanlan!

MATT: Do you want to try and do that?

SAM: It might anger him? Or it might entice him.

(laughter)

SAM: I’ll just stay put.

MATT: All right. Zahra, you’re up.

MARY: All right, I have a question. Do they understand English?

MATT: You are not aware, actually.

LAURA: But he said intruder when we came in.

MATT: You heard him say it in Giant. It was understood by Grog that it was intruder.

MARY: All right. They’re both within about 30 feet of me, yes?

MATT: Yes. They’re both within 30 feet of you

MARY: All right! I’m going to use one of my skills that I have which it doesn’t expel a spell slot and use Awakened Mind and touch them both with telekinesis, and in doing so I shall cast Mass Suggestion, and I shall say to them, you will take us to your enemy, the white dragon, and there we shall slay it together. Then you shall return us here safely, where we shall part as friends bonded forever in the slaying of a common enemy.

MATT: All right. As you’re looking out at the two of them, you release this energy, speaking through your mind, reaching out to theirs. What is the DC of your spell? It should be at the top of your spell list, the difficulty class.

SAM: Spell save DC. Top right.

LAURA: Spell save DC is a 17.

MATT: 17, all right. So both of them seem to–

LAURA: Can you add your inspiration? Add your inspiration!

MATT: Inspiration has to be added to a roll.

MARY: My charisma is added to any spell that I cast.

MATT: Well, that’s included with the DC there. So both of them reach up and grab their faces, one with its messed up, partially disintegrated hand and falls back on its back foot and both of them look at the group in confusion. There definitely seems to be some sort of interference with their current actions based on this spell; there is a conflict within them. That’s as much as I can tell you right now at the moment. That’s your action. Do you want to do anything else? You can still move. You still have a bonus action, if you want.

MARY: What do you mean bonus action?

MATT: Your Hex is a bonus action, but that is a spell, as well.

MARY: If I move away from them though…

LAURA: He can hit you.

TALIESIN: If he’s going to hit you. He might not.

LAURA: That’s true! Your spell might have worked.

MARY: I shall go and protect Scanlan, underneath the legs of that giant.

MATT: So you move in to help defend Scanlan.

MARY: He’s so tiny, I love little guys. I always have.

SAM: She’s a mother figure.

MATT: All right, so both of them seem to be looking around themselves, slightly confused and taking in some sort of strange circumstance. Percy, you’re up.

TALIESIN: I’m going to hold my turn.

MATT: Okay, Percy’s holding initiative. Grog.

LAURA: Should I say, in Giant, (in Grog voice) What say you? Let’s fight this bastard. Together.

MATT: All right, they look at Grog, confused. Look at each other again. That’s Grog’s turn, Vex?

LAURA: Seriously? While everybody’s having a conversation, I would like to take a healing potion.

MATT: All right. Go ahead and take one of those

LAURA: Okay. How much do I take for a superior?

MATT: Superior? Superior is 8d4 plus eight. It’s quite a bit.

LAURA: It is, so just regular healing potion for now. Which is what, 2d8?

MATT: A regular is 2d4 plus two.

LAURA: Yay! That’s good.

MATT: Lyra.

FELICIA: I’m confused. But I do not feel good; I might throw up. So I’m going to hold my turn to see what happens.

MATT: Go ahead and make a constitution saving throw.

FELICIA: Oh, good.

SAM: Oh, for the barf.

FELICIA: Oh, it’s a five! Constitution five. It’s a ten.

MATT: You covertly do your best to not reveal to the entire group that you make a little greenish-brown snow.

(laughter)

MATT: It is the most adorable barfing sound you guys have ever heard, though. The combination of the stress and the smell, it’s been a harrowing experience for Lyra in these past few minutes. At this point in time, as it comes to the giants’ turn. The one who is messed up looks over to the other and (sighs) puts the axe into his belt loop, and the other also one puts its axe in the belt loop, and they glare at the rest of the group, and say in Giant, (gibberish). And any of you speak Giant? Or just Grog.

LAURA: Grog.

MATT: Grog translates. Essentially, they say, “We will take you but it is at your own folly.”

LAURA: (in Grog voice) They’ll take us, but it is at our own folly.

SAM: Take us as in– Grog, can you ask them, take us as in lead us or on their back?

LAURA: (strangled gibberish) Which translates to, take us as in lead us or carry us on your back?

MATT: They both chuckle to themselves, and they start walking in towards the cavern.

LAURA: Wait! Can we rest a little before we go fight this thing so we can get spell slots back and heal?

MATT: That’s up to you guys.

LAURA: Can we? Yes! Yes!

FELICIA: Up to 24 hours. This one lasts the whole day. Yeah, can we?

MATT: It lasts for 24 hours.

MARY: Mass Suggestion lasts for 24 hours.

SAM: Oh, that is good information.

MARY: Oh and very important: none of us can damage these two giants. Anything else can, we’re fine, but should any of us damage it, the spell is poof.

LAURA: Are they going to fight with us? Grog? Will you ask them if they’re going to fight with us?

(gibberish)

MATT: How does it go, again?

LAURA: (repeats previous gibberish)

MATT: Right. One of them looks over the shoulder as it’s walking into the cavern and puts its hand on the top and leans over and its voice, and I will say from this point forth it is translated to make it easier.

SAM: Just like in Hunt for Red October?

MATT: Yeah basically. “We take you but that is as much as you get. The rest is your own choice. Perhaps the dragon will eat you. That’ll keep it satiated for a while.” It steps inside the cavern.

LAURA: (Grog voice) I think that’s a no.

FELICIA: Yeah. And I say (speaks gibberish). My cat is your friend!

TALIESIN: Bless you!

MATT: (laughs) As you say that, one walks inside. The one that you partially disintegrated earlier steps out and goes, (spitting noise) and spits a– what in midair looks like liquid and then (shattering) shatters into almost like crystalline ice as it hits the ground on a rock.

FELICIA: It is just rude. He smells so much like feet.

SAM: We’ll Mass Suggest that they take a bath later.

TALIESIN: Let’s take a breather. For a moment, collect ourselves.

LAURA: I wish I wouldn’t have wasted a healing potion just then because we can take some–

FELICIA: We can heal our 1d6 plus three.

MATT: So as you guys step inside the cavern. You guys are taking a short rest, currently?

SAM: Short rest.

MATT: All right, so the giants are just sitting there waiting, arms crossed against the wall, talking quietly to each other as the rest of you sit down and bandage your wounds. You tend to your adrenaline as it slowly wears off and suddenly the pain starts to set in from some of the wounds you’ve taken. So you guys can use as many hit dice as you want to heal yourselves.

MARY: So what do I do?

LAURA: You roll a d8. You can roll up to 11d8, plus two for each time.

SAM: Hey, DM.

MATT: Yes?

SAM: How many hit points do I have?

MATT: You haven’t taken damage at this point.

SAM: Have they increased at all?

MATT: That is true. You leveled up after the last one. So with this short rest I will say go ahead and roll an additional– for a bard I think it is a d8, correct?

SAM: I don’t know.

MATT: What’s your hit dice number?

SAM: d8.

MATT: And what’s your constitution?

SAM: 15. Plus two.

MATT: All right, so go ahead and roll a d8 plus two to it

SAM: Four.

MATT: All right, so you add four hit points to your total hit point maximum. Welcome to level 11, Scanlan.

(cheering and singing Super Mario victory ditty)

MATT: You also get access to your first 6th-level spell.

MARY: What!?

LAURA: What? Get some stuff before we fight a dragon, yo.

SAM: I got it already. I am ready to rock.

MATT: Good. Good choice. You take the next half an hour or so to rest up. You still used your Disintegrate. You need to do a whole night’s rest to get that back.

FELICIA: Oh! I don’t get it? It’s six spell levels.

MATT: It is six spell levels you can get back on a short rest?

FELICIA: Short rest. Recover six spell levels because I have arcane recovery. So I can actually get that back

MATT: (singing) Wizards are awesome!

LAURA: (Grog voice) Grog would like to take his Chain of Returning off of one of the axes he had it on and put onto the Firebrand Warhammer that he took off of that dwarf in Kraghammer.

MATT: All righty, I like it.

LAURA: The mean guy he took it off.

MATT: Off of, that was King Murghol, I think, wasn’t it? The duergar king you fought in the Underdark.

MARY: I have a question. So I rolled to get my health back and I got more hit points than I had before–

MATT: You can’t go more than your maximum. You’re at full hit points now.

TALIESIN: I want to borrow Grog for just a second and ask these two if they’ve encountered the dragon before, and what its disposition is. Anything we should know.

MATT: I want you to go ahead, and I will say through Grog– this is going to be interesting. Since Grog is translating, I’m going to go ahead and have you roll a persuasion check.

FELICIA: Wrong dice! Why did you use that dice?

TALIESIN: I was feeling weak. Ten.

MATT: Ten. And I want you to roll a persuasion check for Grog with disadvantage.

LAURA: Great. Oh, that was a good roll, come on also good roll.

FELICIA: It wasn’t a good roll. I see a face there.

TALIESIN: It was a one, wasn’t it?

LAURA: It was a one.

MATT: All the crits were last week.

TALIESIN: This is my fault. This is all my fault.

FELICIA: You are a plague. Your good fortune is a plague upon your friends.

LAURA: Travis is going to be so pissed when he gets here.

MATT: I know.

SAM: He’ll be dead by the time he gets here

LAURA: His flight landed. I got a text. His flight has landed. He’s on his way.

MATT: Great, awesome. As Grog finishes translating (gibberish) to the giants, the giants chuckle to themselves and the other one says down to him, what he translates for you, the equivalent of, “There’s no help here. They killed our people, but we’re alive because we serve it. We’ll bring you, like we promised, like we brought all the others.”

LAURA: They serve the dragon?

FELICIA: Can we look around? Are there any dragon tips around?

MATT: You took a rest inside the cavern as you just entered the mountain and at this point as you guys step up the giants are leading you further into the cavern.

MARY: May I talk to him, as well?

MATT: You know Giant?

MARY: No, through Grog. I have telekinesis, so can I speak to one of them?

MATT: Well, telekinesis and telepathy are different things.

MARY: Oh, I mean, I have Awakened Mind.

MATT: Oh right. So you can speak directly to their minds

MARY: Yes. Your people have been persecuted for so long, and you have lost so many of the female version of you, and your children, and you serve them now. Do you want to live as slaves?

MATT: “We want to live.”

MARY: So to live as a slave is better than–

MATT: “To not live at all?”

MARY: We are offering you the opportunity to stop your servitude. To end it forever.

MATT: (grunts) They keep walking

LAURA: What?

MATT: We’ll see how this plays out. This is a process here. You guys heavily failed some early persuasion rolls here, they’re in a very negative position with you right now.

LAURA: Sorry about that.

FELICIA: Let’s not bring it up again. I love your hair.

SAM: It’s really cool.

MATT: So about 200 feet further into this cavern, the tunnel opens up into a gargantuan natural rock chamber, coated in ice crystals across the entirety of the rounded crag in the ceiling. You can see now as the light you’re bringing into– by the way, is anyone bringing a source of light other than the torchlight?

LAURA: Yes, Grog lights his blazing axe.

MARY: And I cast Light on my dark dragon staff.

MATT: All right, so between the (whoosh) now the fire that is now burning off of the warhammer and your Light spell, you can see as you enter following these giants, there are definitely the remnants of a village here, a village that was designed on the scale of these giants and while many of these structures still stand, it is eerily quiet as you step inside. As you begin to step further into the center of this cavern, you see many of these structures have been smashed and destroyed and there is a layer of ice and snow that has been carried in from various blizzard winds or just the internal temperature in this room. And the room is extremely cold. With the little bit of light you have, everyone’s breath is very clearly visible with each puff into the air around, and you swear that in a few pockets here it is so cold that you can hear the moisture from your breath coalesce and then shatter on the ground. You all bundle up even tighter with your various furs.

LAURA: I snuggle very close to Trinket.

MATT: Trinket snuggles very close to you because Trinket, while made for this type of temperature, is still uncomfortably cold, even at this point.

SAM: Did Lyra give me–

FELICIA: I did! I gave you my stone. My Transmutation Stone, which helps you resist cold.

SAM: Wow, I feel so warm and cuddly.

FELICIA: Well, don’t brag about it. Oh my gosh, my mom told me never bring– well, she’s dead, but before she died, she told me if you can’t bring one for everybody, don’t bring any. So just be quiet about it.

SAM: Okay. I’m sorry. I was just distracted because we’re in a dire situation and I miss the love of my life, Pike. I’m sure you can’t identify with that.

FELICIA: Oh no! I was just thinking the other day, just outside the cavern, if Aldor was here–

SAM: Aldor?

FELICIA: Yes! Did I tell you about him?

SAM: A little.

FELICIA: He smells like sandalwood and dismissiveness, but that’s okay. We’ll get over that.

SAM: Well, we have something in common then and thank you for your stone of warmth or whatever it was.

FELICIA: It’s a cold resistance.

SAM: I’ll just call it a stone of warmth.

MATT: There is no character class more dangerous in DND than mother.

(laughter)

MATT: Do not have children if you are ever in a fantasy genre or anything. You ain’t getting past 30.

MARY: May I again, sorry, use Awakened Mind to ask the giant what happened here?

MATT: As they begin walking through and looking about, one of them starts giving you these images, and it’s less of a language and it’s more of a series of memories. And you see visions of a time not long ago. Months, even years. This relatively thriving village of frost giants that had essentially claimed this mountain as their own for generations. Hunting in the nearby Vesper Timberland, occasionally harrowing the traveling merchant band heading up the Glasswalk Path or various other entities that live in this forest. They’re not by any means a good people. They exist and they take what they want, but it appears that not long ago this dragon decided that it wanted to live here instead. And you see visions of it stalking through the tunnels, carving its way through the ice and ambushing this frost giant village. You see visions of it tearing into families of them and freezing them on the spot, which is interesting because you see, these giants seem pretty well-adapted to ice and cold weather. It seems it is less of a freezing them physically and more of locking them into place. And as you see these visions, you begin to step further into this village and you can see there are spires, large spires of crystallized ice, and loosely within the shadows of the ice you can see what looks like the suffocated forms of frost giants that are locked in that position under many feet of ice. You see most of this village brought to its knees and destroyed, murdered, eaten, or imprisoned and these two, essentially chosen to survive and given the order to bring what this creature wants.

MARY: There’s only two of you left?

MATT: You get this sense of sadness and fear, but also a sense of a lack of any other option.

MARY: Oh, how I wish we could release you from these bonds.

LAURA: Is there a way to, like, melt the spires? (whispers) I interrupted you.

MARY: To release them.

FELICIA: They are dead in there though, right?

MARY: No, I know but at least maybe they could– Do you have some burial ritual or anything that you would like to or do these stand as a painful remembrance for you?

MATT: There is a moment where it seems almost like it’s going to answer, and then the mind closes off suddenly. There is a defensiveness and these entities, you get the sense that even this tenuous relationship you have built with them is based purely on arcane persuasion, and the more you pry, the more you begin to test the boundaries of what you have done. Pick and choose your words very carefully.

MARY: Zahra sheds a tear, which freezes instantly on her face, and her internal flame melts it off.

LAURA: That’s pretty badass.

MATT: As you continue to walk, you can see the center of this village is completely in tatters. A lot of the wood and the dried brush and the furs and thick leathers that these giants had gathered and constructed their civilization out of is all just shattered and rended to the floor and then frozen over, left in this weird picturesque, almost a tapestry. A frozen moment in time of utter desolation. Actually, I want you to all to roll a perception check, if you could.

TALIESIN: 17.

FELICIA: 14.

SAM: 20.

LAURA: Oh! No we’re not in– 14.

MARY: Uno.

MATT: Wow, getting the ones out. So as you guys are walking forward, Scanlan, you notice that there is, just outside the light perception stepping forward, a lot of the rubble has been pushed and coalesced into a central monolith. Almost like a 25, 30 foot sculpture of chaos. All of these things have been matted together with what looks like mud and refuse, and as you guys begin to notice this, too, you catch the framing of the light on it and it seems to be built into almost an altar or a large sculpture of worship of a winged dragon creature that is currently in the process of swooping down. You get the sensation that this was built as, essentially, a place of offering to this white dragon, and hopefully a symbol to keep themselves alive and to prove their fealty to this entity.

FELICIA: I have a spell called Legend Lore. Can I cast that on white dragon?

MATT: Let’s see what Legend Lore does.

FELICIA: The spell brings to your mind a brief summary of the significant lore about the thing you named: current tales, forgotten stories, secret lore that has never been widely known. If it is not of legendary importance, you gain no information. Would I think that this is a legendary dragon?

MATT: Okay. As you take a moment and everyone stops to look around, you notice that Lyra is sitting there currently muttering to herself and putting her fingers through the air, and you can see these small arcane sigils begin to flash in the air where she places her hands, at which point her eyes glaze over with this shimmering gold energy and she seems to go into a trance. Now, what you first are hit with is the image of darkness, black and struggle, a struggle to push, a struggle to exist, a struggle to survive, and then suddenly light. You see the cracking of something releasing, and from there pulling forth from this singular egg, the only one left of its clutch, a white dragon wyrmling pulling itself out of the egg. This, you immediately sense, is the dragon that now resides within this mountain. You begin to see flashes in time of it struggling to survive in the frozen tundra to the north, desperately trying to escape poachers and individuals trying to hunt it, whether to protect their own villages or to use its physical body parts in some sort of sale. You get the sense that at one point it was already the target of some contract that failed. For a brief second, you see a flash of a frozen cavern recently, and a few individuals locked in an icy prison bitten down on and shattered before it cuts to black again. You begin to see moments of this dragon growing, and with each stage in its physical transformation towards becoming a full-fledged adult dragon there is just spite, there is anger, there is ego, there is a severe sense of self-importance, a lust for others to bow before, serve, or feed it. And you have heard and you have read many things about dragons and you have heard things of great intelligence and articulate entities that even, good or evil themselves, have this extremely intelligent presence. This dragon is far more feral and bestial than anything you’ve read about. It has an intelligence, but it seems to not be concerned with the intricacies of conversation as much as it is to bend everything to its will and to give (voices deepens) to me. (normally) And the one thing that catches your mind before the spell ends is the name that it finally came upon itself, the name that it heard whispered as one of its would-be hunters was suddenly–

SAM: Jeff.

(laughter)

MATT: Jeff the dragon. The name Rimefang rings through your mind.

FELICIA: His name is Rimefang.

MATT: The two frost giants stop their walking and turn. “Rimefang.” They nod and look up to the giant structure they constructed.

FELICIA: Oh wow! Can I make a history to sww if I know anyone in the guild who has been named Rimefang?

MATT: Make a history check on this.

FELICIA: It’s a 21.

MATT: Okay, Rimefang, you gather, is the name of the dragon proper. And there’s another drink for you guys out there. They made fun of me for using the word proper.

SAM: Drink!

MATT: This dragon took the name Rimefang. Because in a lot of dragons as they evolve and begin to really create a lair, they really make themselves known publicly and really draw the fear out once they feel they’re in a comfortable position. You feel this dragon is just starting to get to that point where it’s eager to drive fear into the local populace. From your history check, you do know that there is, somewhere in the books you’ve gone through, a similar contract, nothing Rimefang related, but there was a white dragon that was supposedly hunted about eight, nine months back, and the team never returned. And you begin to think, “Wait, so if a team of really practiced people never returned from this contract, and we were sent on this as an entry level…”

FELICIA: Hey, guys? I have a suspicion that maybe the guild didn’t want us to succeed. And I don’t want to panic anybody. I just don’t think Vanessa–

MARY: Lyra, do you have any enemies in the guild?

FELICIA: Well. Everyone seems to be very– I make a very good soup and I help people with their laundry sometimes and–

LAURA: Oh, are you like an assistant?

FELICIA: No, I’m a guild member, I just like to be helpful. Like you guys.

LAURA: I was just wondering.

FELICIA: Well, they just don’t send me anywhere. It’s a paperwork thing.

MARY: If you don’t mind my asking because I do respect you so much, how did your captainship of our crew come about?

FELICIA: Well, I got a missive, I got a scroll in my room and the first assignment. I mean, it was very exciting to me and they haven’t really paid attention to me. Mertin is very nice to me but Vanessa– she just has her days, and I’ve been asking her for so long, and finally I got my assignment. I was hoping Aldor would be here, but he isn’t, and that’s fine. It’ll be the next one. But there may not be a next one, guys. That’s what I’m saying.

MARY: Oh, were you Vanessa’s assistant? I mean, before you were a member?

FELICIA: No. Aldor. I’m here with Aldor, remember?

SAM: If you think we’ve been sent on some sort of suicide mission–

FELICIA: Oh, that’s good, the way you put it there!

SAM: Well, I’m a master of words. Should we abandon all hope and just flee? Is that what you’re suggesting as our leader? Or should we carry it through and prove everyone wrong?

FELICIA: If we abandon this quest, then we never– I could get kicked out of the guild, for one.

LAURA: What happens if the contract that we magically signed doesn’t ever come to fruition?

FELICIA: It’s not good. Let me think.

SAM: You know what? Retrace your steps.

MATT: There you go. In Memento fashion, all these things flash through. If a contract is broken, one: if you’re a member of the guild, you’re kicked out of the guild. Two: you guys are on this essentially as a trial basis to prevent being arrested and put on trial for breaking the laws of the city of Vasselheim and essentially hunting creatures that aren’t sanctified. Or you yourself have not been sanctified to kill, which goes against guild rules and the city itself. Which means if you were to not succeed at the contract, you would probably be put on trial at the seat of judgment.

LAURA: Percy is very good at lawyering.

TALIESIN: I am. I lawyer quite well, but the hope is that we wouldn’t actually break the contract in the first place, because that’s complicated.

MARY: I wasn’t part of this band of breaking the law. I’m here to gain entry into this guild.

FELICIA: Well, you certainly won’t get into the guild if you break the contract.

MARY: No, I completely understand, but I won’t be brought to trial. Not that I’m all, “well it’s all about me,” but I’m serious. That’s why I’m here! My motivations are not to save my ass, my motivations are to get into this bloody guild!

TALIESIN: We’re not here based on other people’s expectations. We’re here because we thought we could handle this and nothing has changed. This changes nothing!

LAURA: We are very capable fighters!

MARY: I’ve seen this. You have proven yourselves already. Those orcs didn’t stand a bloody chance.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

FELICIA: So we go?

SAM: We go. Well actually, Grog– could someone ask Ace and Gary if we’re there or if we have further to travel?

FELICIA: We’ll just keep going.

MATT: As Grog mentions this, you guys have moved past most of the village, and you’ve gone towards the back of this large chamber, and you do see what appears to be a tunnel that ascends upwards, deeper into the mountain proper. See, did it again. It’s made me all self-conscious. But the entrance is entirely frozen. There is a wall of solid ice between yourselves and the continuation of this tunnel.

LAURA: (Grog voice) How thick is it?

MATT: It’s hard to see how thick it is from this side.

LAURA: (Grog voice) Can Grog run at it and try to bash it really fast?

MATT: So as you guys step up, Grog runs ahead of the rest of the giants and goes as hard as he can towards this. (laughs) So swinging with the axe towards the ice. Go ahead and make an attack roll.

LAURA: It’s a hammer, which I feel would be better against ice.

MATT: This giant flaming warhammer from King Murghol.

LAURA: I feel like every dice is betraying me.

TALIESIN: Would you like to use mine?

LAURA: No, I’m going to curse yours.

MATT: No, turn it around. Shake the Wil Wheaton curse.

LAURA: I’ll just leave it at that. It slipped out of my hands, but I’m going to keep it. 15 plus what, eight? Plus nine?

MATT: Plus nine. That’ll definitely hit. Go ahead and roll damage for that.

LAURA: Okay. Here we go.

SAM: I hope he can hit a wall.

LAURA: I don’t know, with my ones as of late. Oh, that’s just ten.

MATT: Ten damage? Including the fire damage?

LAURA: Oh, yes, right. 13.

MATT: 13 damage. (whack) The warhammer streaks through, the light causing this interesting shifting of the radius around it. As it smacks into the ice with this resounding (thwack) sound, the ice shakes and shimmers. A giant crack forms up the front of it, and you can see as he (grunts) pulls it out, the wall itself seems to have largely crumbled in the small space there and looks very fragile. But it’s definitely left an impact on the wall.

TALIESIN: I can make an attempt at this. I’m going to walk over and study the shattering position and see if I can find the weak point in the wall.

MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make an investigation check.

TALIESIN: Seven. Getting it all out of my system now.

MATT: The ice wall itself is not a specific architectural structure. It is made of some sort of blasting of ice that froze the air in that way, so it doesn’t have any real geometric positioning, but the ice structure itself, you’re unable to make out what would be a weak point or not, other than the place of impact where Grog placed the hammer.

TALIESIN: I’m going to take a musket ball, go over to the very center of the crack.

LAURA: Should we keep a little more quiet than that?

FELICIA: Can I use a Fire Bolt? That would be good, a Fire Bolt.

TALIESIN: Let’s save the Fire Bolt.

FELICIA: No, it’s a cantrip. Is that okay?

TALIESIN: I’m backing up.

FELICIA: I’m the leader. I’m going to say I’m going to.

TALIESIN: She said, Fire Bolt. I backed away.

FELICIA: And that is 1d8 fire damage, which is seven. Seven fire damage.

MATT: All right. Go ahead and roll to see if you hit with it. So roll and add your spell attack modifier.

FELICIA: What is that? Oh, it’s 12… plus 11. So that is 23.

MATT: All right, that definitely hits. How much damage? That was seven fire damage, you said?

FELICIA: Oh, it’s 3d10 fire. Sorry. Because of my level. Which is seven and five and seven is 19.

MATT: Clutching your staff at one side, the book’s under your shoulder, you bring your hand out and withdraw your hand with the force of the blast of the Fire Bolt going forward. As it smacks into the section where Grog had slammed the hammer, (boof) it bursts as a flash of arcane reddish fiery energy, and the wall itself shatters inward and starts falling and crumbling nearby. Now, this tall wall, which was about 25 feet tall, begins to fall in giant chunks.

FELICIA: (yelps) Sorry!

MATT: I’m going to go ahead and have Lyra and Percy and Grog all make dexterity saving throws.

FELICIA: Oh, I’m so good at that, with the negatives. Oh!

LAURA: 19!

TALIESIN: I can’t use acrobatics?

MATT: No, not for this.

LAURA: 21 for Grog.

FELICIA: I rolled a zero, because I’ve got a negative two. It’s not even on the dice!

MATT: Percy?

TALIESIN: Nine.

MATT: All right, so.

FELICIA: Is that worse than a critical fail?

MATT: As the whole wall just (shattering noise) breaking and falling down around you, you all go rushing backward. Grog, strangely and unexpectedly, shoulder-rolls out of the way, epic Geordi La Forge style. Escapes the crumbling wall. Unfortunately, though, Lyra and Percy stumble backward, slipping on the ice that’s actually coated the floor of this cavern, and get impacted with part of the fall. It’s not too bad, but both of you suffer 14 points of cold damage and bludgeoning. Cold and bludgeoning, as the wall comes tumbling down on you. However, the rest of the cavern now lies open with pieces of jagged ice almost like a broken glass window itself framing the exterior of this tunnel.

FELICIA: I’m not going to go to the front anymore, guys.

SAM: Well, you’re the leader, shouldn’t you be–

LAURA: We should protect her. She should be towards the back.

TALIESIN: I’m going to heal really quickly.

MATT: Take another short rest?

LAURA: We should take a short rest so that we’re going in, you know.

FELICIA: Yeah. I had scoliosis as a child. I’m not nimble. It’s funny.

MARY: Before we take a short rest may I, again, use Awakened Mind, just to see how far away we are.

MATT: You get an image of a slowly ascending and spiraling tunnel that ascends towards an upper cavern at the top of the mountain. The upper cavern you only get a few glimpses of as they themselves have only had a few glimpses of it, but it appears this is not the only obstacle in the way.

MARY: Oh, good.

SAM: Let’s carry on then.

LAURA: Could you see when you were looking into their mind if it is open or if it is just a big cavern?

MARY: I could not see.

MATT: From the best vantage point you could see, it was a chamber about, I’d say 80 to 85 feet to the ceiling, lined with jagged ice crystals that are coalesced in a temperature so cold that it’s almost like the inside of a geode, but it’s all made of ice. But you see multiple platforms that are risen in the walls of this, and in the center, there is a singular platform, and there sitting on the top of it is apparently the dragon quarry you seek. And then the image shuts itself out, as one of them glances over the shoulder. It’s growing uncomfortable with sharing information.

MARY: Got it. I thank him in my mind.

MATT: All right. Pressing forward, you can see one giant still dragging itself forward with a portion of its physical body essentially gutted.

MARY: What if we gave him a half healing potion?

SAM: Don’t mess with the magic.

LAURA: Because, here’s the thing. If they fight with us, it’s great, but if they turn on us then we are going to have to fight them at full power again.

MARY: Yeah, but we have 24 hours.

SAM: Yes, but the healing potion might do something. Let’s just keep going. You are a very kind soul.

MATT: So are you guys taking a short rest to heal up? Okay. If you haven’t already rolled your dice– You healed up now? Perfect. All right, so as you guys continue to trudge up this extremely cold– let me see. I think it’ll be a fun one to– There we go. You guys continue to ascend up this pitch-black cavern here. It appears that both the giants and the dragon do not need light to make their way through this cavern structure. So you are the small beads of visual lightness in the entire structure. The floor itself is slick, and there are bits of rough rock that you can find foot purchase but there are a few moments where some of you slip and you lose about ten feet and then catch yourself and have to move upward with this slight 35-degree incline, slowly spiraling upward. You push forward for about 30 minutes or so in this long, seemingly– for lack of a better term, there isn’t a lot of changed variation to it; it’s just a gradual spiral in itself.

LAURA: I want to keep perception out to make sure that nothing is ahead of us.

MATT: Go ahead and roll a perception check.

LAURA: Okay, but this is pertaining to dragons. He is one of my favored enemies, so I have additional bonuses to tracking him and insight against him. Favored enemies!

MATT: All right. So you’re perceiving anything dragon-related and things that would be a forewarning of a dragon, okay.

LAURA: Things he would have laid down for us. Stuff like that.

MATT: Okay. Go ahead and roll again. You have an advantage.

LAURA: You know, just to see. Okay. 18?

MATT: Okay. Glancing about, you do see there are claw marks along the walls, you can see where portions of this cavern were carved out by the claws of Rimefang. You can see that occasionally there are pieces of frozen rock that are solid ice, some that appear to be an unthawed chunk of flesh of some kind. As you push further up this cavern, you spot what looks like the lower half of a statue.

FELICIA: Ugh. That’s a– oh my god.

TALIESIN: That’s unpleasant.

LAURA: Half of a giant, right?

MATT: This appears to be a frost giant that met its end. The actual lower half of the torso itself is giving off a stench of slowly rotting flesh. There is ice encasing the lower half of it. It’s interesting because the physical form of the frost giants resist cold naturally, and this temperature would normally freeze any other flesh completely solid. Here, it naturally decays. But there is a distinct place where the torso was removed forcibly by what looks like a series of daggers and/or dragon’s teeth.

FELICIA: I have little ginger chews, if anybody wants one.

TALIESIN: I’ll take one.

FELICIA: Here you go. Thank you. Just in my little pack here.

MATT: About ten more minutes of walking, you come upon another frozen wall barrier.

SAM: I will check it for traps!

MATT: Go ahead and roll perception.

LAURA: (laughs) Thanks, brother.

SAM: Five.

MATT: As far as you can tell, it is a frost/snow-covered ground with walls and a ceiling.

SAM: Everyone. There are definitely no traps here.

LAURA: Oh, good. Maybe we should stay back?

FELICIA: Maybe I could do the Fire Bolt from afar. That’s a good idea, and a leader idea that I had that you just reminded me of.

LAURA: Good thinking, Lyra.

FELICIA: Thank you. Oh, that definitely hits. That’s 28.

MATT: 28. Go ahead and roll damage.

FELICIA: It’s a nine and a ten and five. 24.

MATT: 24. So as you focus, close one eye, and aim, you release a secondary Fire Bolt. (boosh) It slams into the front of the wall of ice, which immediately bursts inside. Shattered shards of glass-like ice go flying further up the cavern. The rest of it falls and collapses at a distance, (crashing) around you. Thankfully, you’re all far enough away where there isn’t an issue, and the wall seems to have shattered.

FELICIA: That’s the way you do it! Thank you. Oh my gosh, you guys.

LAURA: Before we move forward, I’ve studied dragons a lot. I just want to say. So obviously we all know they’re susceptible to fire damage, yes? This is an ice-breathing bastard. Do as much fire attacks as we can.

MARY: Yes. Don’t dragons love, especially white ones, shiny, sparkly things? Especially gems, from what I’ve gleaned over the years.

LAURA: If he could be distracted during combat, maybe.

FELICIA: A very aggressive person. I got a glimpse of his attitude, and it is not pleasant.

LAURA: Not happy.

FELICIA: No. He is full of bile and vitriol, and he likes to be worshiped. We could pretend to be worshiping him.

LAURA: But he’ll still want to eat us. But yes, we could do that.

FELICIA: I mean, he didn’t eat these two guys!

LAURA: It might be something to think about.

FELICIA: At least to get close to him.

LAURA: Before we spring an attack, yes.

MATT: Go ahead and make an intelligence check.

LAURA: With advantage because it’s pertaining to dragons?

SAM: (laughs) She’s a stickler.

LAURA: Is that an insight check?

MATT: That’s just adding your intelligence modifier.

LAURA: Okay, let me see what that– oh, that’s Grog’s. What am I doing? Okay, so 20 was the first roll. 20 is the high roll. Oh, wait! No! 22.

MATT: 22. Okay. A few things you do know about dragons, specifically a white dragon, from your studying. You lost someone very important to you, supposedly to a dragon, and so you’ve spent a lot of your life focused on their techniques, their abilities, how they work. White dragons, you know, have complete immunity to cold. Cold damage of all sorts has no effect on them whatsoever. You know that they have capability of flight. They surround themselves with ice but are not hindered by it whatsoever. You do know that their claws and teeth are extremely dangerous. They themselves also, using their wings and tail, become a fierce entity from all sides. Its cold breath is extremely dangerous. It can affect a large area, and even its presence is frightful enough to where some of the most seasoned adventurers go running, fleeing, or cowering in a corner. Let alone encountering one in its lair, itself, it already has an advantage, as it sets an environment to put it at its advantage. So anything and everything you can do to prepare and be ready for such an encounter would be highly recommended. You do get the sensation that even though they are cold-based, fire doesn’t necessarily do any additional damage, but it is not reduced or able to resist it.

LAURA: It can’t resist fire. What about lightning damage? Do I know anything about that?

MATT: Best that you know, most magics and other types of damage other than cold have an effect on it, though it does have unnatural resilience to spells and things for a large part of the combat.

FELICIA: I can cast Stoneskin on one person. Or up to, actually– I could cast Stoneskin up to three times.

MATT: But it’s a concentration spell, so you can only have it up on one person.

FELICIA: I can only have it on one person at a time. So who would be most likely to resist slashing and bludgeoning and piercing?

LAURA: Probably Grog. He’s going to be the one that’s going to be up close, out of all of us.

MATT: As Grog says, “That’s all right. If I’m raging, I already have the ability to resist.”

LAURA: That’s true. He takes half to piercing and slashing.

FELICIA: Oh, okay. So then we need the other person who might be within range.

TALIESIN, LAURA, and MARY: Trinket.

SAM: Trinket’s here?

(laughter)

MATT: As you look over. (sad bear moan)

LAURA: Trinket’s right there, Scanlan.

FELICIA: I don’t want to demean him, but his performance is–

LAURA: Lyra!

FELICIA: I love him. Of course he gets the spell.

LAURA: He is really, really cool!

SAM: He does things!

FELICIA: Yes, of course, I don’t know what I was thinking.

LAURA: Here’s the thing. If he doesn’t have Stoneskin, I probably won’t let him charge.

TALIESIN: But if he does have Stoneskin, will you let him charge?

LAURA: Probably.

FELICIA: All right, well, that could be another– Does that seem like a good idea for a bear?

MARY: Scanlan, are most of your attacks up close or are they far?

SAM: I’ve got a wide range. I like to keep people guessing. It’s my thing.

FELICIA: But we wouldn’t really want you within claw damage.

SAM: I wouldn’t want that, either.

FELICIA: It does make more– I don’t mean to demean Trinket, he is a lovely bear.

SAM: Of all the bears I’ve known, he’s top five. Top five.

MATT: As you’re saying this, Trinket senses the conversation and plants both feet in the ground (growls).

LAURA: See how tough he is?

MATT: He seems to be showing off. And for a moment, even though it’s a conversation, that’s a dangerous-looking bear.

MARY: I use Beast Speak on Trinket. And say, Trinket, what are you feeling right now? What’s going on? You seem very excited.

MATT: Okay, you notice Zahra leans forward and starts giving this series of low, guttural sounds. It’s weird. There’s this weird arcane interference and this strange, almost like the sound itself is being muffled and stretched. And Trinket turns to her and starts giving the same noises back. Trinket says to you, essentially, “I’ll do whatever it takes to protect my Vex. If this creature tries anything, I will tear its throat from its head.”

FELICIA: He’s a sexier bear than I thought he was.

LAURA: And he gives good massages, Lyra.

FELICIA: Okay. So I will cast Stoneskin. It lasts an hour, so I’ll cast it within the perimeter that we think we’re going to get hit.

LAURA: Tell him that I love him very much!

MARY: I also want to tell you, Trinket. First of all, boy or girl? Just have to check.

LAURA: He’s a boy! Look at his giant dick.

MATT: He leans back in a sitting bear position.

MARY: Thank you, I needed some inspiration for this fight we’re about to do. All right. I also want you to know that Vex loves you very much and will do whatever she can to protect you.

MATT: As this guttural conversation comes forth, Trinket comes up to you and nuzzles his nose up against your side.

LAURA: Oh, little buddy!

FELICIA: I wish Aldor would do that to me.

SAM and MARY: Show his giant cock to you?

(laughter)

FELICIA: I saw it once. It was glorious.

MARY: Very inspiring.

MATT: As Lyra’s in this memory trance, finishes casting Stoneskin and reaches out and touches Trinket. You can see Trinket’s physical form, all the fur seems to coalesce into a thick rock-type exterior shell of magical protection.

LAURA: What does his armor class raise by?

MATT: Armor class doesn’t change, but all damage that Trinket takes from bludgeoning, piercing, or slashing is reduced by half.

LAURA: Nice.

MARY: Thank you, Trinket, lovely to talk to you.

SAM: What else can we do to prepare?

LAURA: I promise, Lyra, I will let him attack this battle.

FELICIA: Oh good, no, it’s fantastic. That invited so many good thoughts in my mind. I don’t mind anything at this point. I mean, what?

MATT: The giants begin to move forward into the cavern.

LAURA: It’s happening.

MARY: Yep. Screw your courage to the sticking-place.

TALIESIN: Ew. Oh. All right.

MATT: All right. Scanlan, I want you to go ahead and roll a dexterity saving throw.

SAM: Oh boy, already? Dex. 17. Oh. Plus four. 21.

MATT: 21. As you begin stepping forward up the cavern where the wall itself has collapsed, you step forward onto a part of the ice that is far more brittle than you expected, and suddenly it (cracks) breaks beneath your foot.

SAM: My Scanlan-sense is tingling!

MATT: You push off and fall onto your back, and as you guys look over, you hear the cracking and the falling of some sort of stone or ice-like structure. You see where Scanlan was stepping a ten-foot-diameter pit crumbles and falls beneath. And peering over the inside and using your light, you can see there appears to be an arrangement of razor-sharp ice spikes gathered at the bottom of a 15-foot pit.

LAURA: What? Why isn’t my brother here? I need to check for traps from now on. Snoop ahead.

TALIESIN: I think we’ve found one. There’s a trap right there.

SAM: Does that take up our whole path now?

MATT: The tunnel itself is about 20 feet wide at this point, so you guys can move around it. The giants were ahead of you at this point.

SAM: Did they laugh?

MATT: One of them shakes his head and the other one just keeps walking.

FELICIA: Gee, I had a spell that would be useful, but it’s not ready.

SAM: Thanks for that update.

FELICIA: I’m just being honest. I could’ve lied, said that I totally prepared that spell, but I could’ve been knowing Giant the whole time, so I just.

LAURA: (laughs) Oops.

FELICIA: If anybody falls, I can make them fall gently. That’s on the list.

LAURA: Oh, that’s good. Is that Feather Fall? Nice. Okay, I perceive some more and see if I see any traps ahead of us the whole time.

MATT: All right. You go ahead and make a perception check as you move forward.

LAURA: That would be a seven. 15.

MATT: 15, okay. You guys continue to push upwards this long spiraling corridor. You reach another ice wall that has already been partially broken from some sort of encounter long ago. You immediately see that the part of the wall that is broken. There’s about a ten-foot-wide blocked passage, the entirety of that walkway appears to be another trap, and the giants are waiting back.

LAURA: Good for you. There’s a thing here. We should not step on it. I have one job on this ship!

MARY: I know it’s stupid, but goddamn it, I’m going to do it.

SAM: How do we get around? What do we do?

LAURA: We should maybe break down this ice wall and then not walk on this area. How about that?

SAM: Oh. Okay. Let’s, yes.

FELICIA: Oh, good. Should I Firebolt? I mean, I’m going to Firebolt. From a distance.

LAURA, FELICIA, MARY, and SAM: (singing) From a distance, the world is…

SAM: Beaches.

FELICIA: That’s a 30.

MATT: 30. Go ahead and roll some damage.

FELICIA: Yeah! Nine and eight and a ten, these are good rolls. That’s a 27.

MATT: 27. This bolt arcs around from the side. You hit it right at the point where half of the wall had collapsed, causing the other half of the wall to immediately shatter and collapse inward, spraying bits of ice and rock against the wall on that side. The ground becomes rough terrain in that general vicinity, but it’s easy enough to traverse over without any serious issue. As you guys step over, and the giants make their way across, stepping over it entirely with their long gait. You move carefully over the shattered wall bits, but the ground itself seems solid. You get past without issue.

LAURA: Before we go into the actual lair of the dragon– once we get to it; I don’t know much more of these thingies there are. Do we want to go in as if we’re offering it something and saying, hey, we love you, we want to bring you people, and stuff like that?

MARY: We are here to serve you?

LAURA: Or do we want to send somebody in first and act like they’re here to serve it, and then we all spring in and surprise it? What do you want to do?

SAM: They like to eat giants.

LAURA: It wants to eat anything frozen, basically. It freezes things, and then it eats them.

FELICIA: Well, there was another party that the guild– the guild did send another party.

LAURA: I don’t know if they had a method or if they just walked right in.

TALIESIN: Perhaps if we’re quiet and stealthy. Can we be quiet and stealthy?

FELICIA: I can’t!

MARY: I can cast Invisibility.

FELICIA: Ooh, I can cast Invisibility on myself.

SAM: That would help.

MARY: So learning of the dragon, will it be able to detect us if we cast Invisibility?

FELICIA: That’s nature? That would be a nature check or animal handling?

MATT: This would be an intelligence check.

FELICIA: Oh. Well, I can do that. That’s a 30– that’s a 23.

MATT: Okay, so what you’ve read of dragons, their ability to sense their surroundings is adapted to all environments, whether they can see or not. They actually have the ability to see with no sight necessary to a certain extent, so invisibility would help at a distance, quite a bit of distance, but within a certain point it is able to sense your presence whether or not it can see you. Also note, if you cast Invisibility you lose your concentration spell on Trinket.

FELICIA: Oh, so let’s not do that. Now, his vanity, he does like being worshiped. So that is the key.

SAM: So we could go in with an offering.

LAURA: An offering. What if we laid a trap in the offering? What if we used your frag grenade that you did. Is it a bomb? Does it set off on a timer? Is it very fragile?

TALIESIN: I have to set it off personally. I actually have to shoot it to set it off.

MARY: So smile, you son of a bitch, basically, if we put it in his mouth?

LAURA: Do we have any bombs or anything like that? Because I have a very big beautiful diamond of awesomeness that we uncovered before that I keep about. We could present him with this big, huge-ass diamond and then have it trapped with some sort of exploding device.

SAM: We could.

FELICIA: If he picks the diamond up off of the–

LAURA: We could put it in a bag and then put the diamond on top of a bomb or something, and then when he picks it up and like, (explosion) in his face.

TALIESIN: That’s hoping for an awful lot of things to go our way. More things than normally go our way, to be fair.

FELICIA: Well, it seems worthy of trying to get close to him, because his attacks– Would he as a dragon have a very good length attack?

MATT: Yeah, as a dragon has some decent reach with some of its attacks. Its bite, and its length of neck and ability to bite actually has quite a bit of reach. Also, its tail has quite some reach, as well. It can cover some decent ground just with its physical form.

FELICIA: The thing is, obviously the trolls don’t come up here a lot or there wouldn’t be so much ice in here. Walls. So I think that’s a problem, so it’s not as if they come up here all the time to give it treats. Right?

SAM: We could just walk in there. I could be holding Lyra as my captive and say, I’ve brought you this captive to eat.

FELICIA: I don’t like that one.

SAM: Well, you know, you’re very appealing.

MARY: We still don’t know that the giants aren’t going to help us.

MATT: As you guys are stepping forward up the pathway, you turn a corner and you can see the giants have stopped, and they have a physical trepidation to the way that they’re leaning backward in their stance. As you turn the corner, the little bit of light that reaches out, you can see there appears to be one final ice wall that has a ten-foot opening where it’s left as a pathway, and it opens into a darkened chamber.

MARY: Well, I have darkvision for 60 feet, so I could approach around the side and peer in and just see what’s there, 60 feet ahead.

MATT: Okay, so you walk up past the giants to this entrance? All right. As you walk forward, you see your vision spill out in the darkness, with a little bit of dim light and the darkness before you reveals itself. You can see a smattering of broken bits along the ground, looks like rocks and ice, a frozen leg of some humanoid, an arm, some scattered, broken armor and weapons. There are pieces of what appears to be a frozen-over graveyard of previous attempts towards inhabiting this room. And as you continue to push forward towards the edge, just towards the perimeter as far as your vision can see at this doorway, you see a central platform in the middle of this giant chamber that rises up about 15 feet. Ten, 15 feet, and just cresting over the top of this platform is the edge of an alabaster snout, with teeth overlapping. You hear this (snarls) growling snarl. And this little voice spills out from underneath and says, “Why don’t you enter? If you’re going to arrive and present yourselves, do not cower yet.”

FELICIA: Get that diamond out!

MATT: And with that, we’re going to go ahead and take a break.

(shouting)

MATT: We’re going to take a quick ten-minute break to go ahead and use the bathroom, get a little snack. Yes?

ZAC: We’re eight subscribers away from another giveaway.

(cheering)

ZAC: The giveaway includes a signed player’s handbook by all your wonderful hosts, as well as the hosts that will be here next week, and a signed copy of Felicia Day’s new book.

FELICIA: My new book! It’s right there! I signed it.

SAM: What’s it called? What’s the title?

FELICIA: It’s called You’re Never Weird on the Internet (Almost).

SAM: Aw. That’s cool.

FELICIA: It’s amusing.

ZAC: Are you weird in real life all the time?

FELICIA: No, I mean, look at me.

ZAC: No. Definitely not.

FELICIA: I don’t believe your face.

SAM: Did you consider the title Day Dreaming?

FELICIA: You’re pretty.

SAM: I just thought, because it’s like a pun.

FELICIA: No, that’s awful.

SAM: Consider it.

MATT: Somewhere, someone’s holding their manuscript entitled Day Dreaming and going

(fake crying).

(laughter)

MATT: All right, guys, we’ll take a quick break, we’ll see you back in ten minutes or so to see how this goes.

Break
[break]

Part II
MATT: Welcome back from the break! Our fantastic Travis finally made it.

(cheering)

TRAVIS: I heard I rolled really well in the beginning of this.

MATT: Yeah, it went wonderfully.

LAURA: Sorry. But your Chain of Returning is attached to your blazing warhammer now.

MATT: There you go. So as it ends up, we have a new winner. KadenPhilly is the winner,

congratulations, of our next giveaway. So we’ll be giving away the player’s handbook, the signed

photo, a copy of Felicia’s book– yay!– and a bunch of other goodies coming your way soon, so

make sure you get your information to the Overlord. We’ll have another giveaway at 5,800, if

we can get to there by the end of the show tonight, so let’s see if we can hit that. In the

meantime, guys–

TRAVIS: Shit.

MARY: Yeah. Welcome to the shit.

TRAVIS: I’ve been watching in the car.

MATT: You guys have all been making your way through the cavern back here. Zahra has stepped

forward and in the darkness, you can see right here at the edge a form.

FELICIA: He’s up above us, though.

MATT: Yep. About ten, 15 feet up on this platform, leaning over the edge is Rimefang, staring at you

through the darkness. A claw comes forward and beckons.

LAURA: Can I, from here, before we go in there– I’m going to cast Hunter’s Mark on him.

MATT: You can’t see him right now.

MARY: I can.

MATT: Zahra can.

TRAVIS: I can, too. I’ve got my belt of dwarven darkvision.

FELICIA: Is he speaking dragon?

MATT: Speaking Common.

FELICIA: He’s speaking Common. Okay.

MARY: Would he detect if I would cast anything on him at the moment? I don’t know! Then I’m going to

sit here and drink my drink.

TRAVIS: Are you offering him that jewel, or did we ditch that idea?

LAURA: No, are we doing that?

SAM: We might. Depends what he asks. Yeah, let’s do it.

TRAVIS: Yeah, roll it out like a tennis ball for a dog.

TALIESIN: Do we have a little bag we can put the jewels in?

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: We don’t have time to do any of this stuff.

LAURA: Yeah, we do.

TALIESIN: We have a second. I’m going to hand you my Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. Why not?

TRAVIS: You can Hold Monster?

MARY: I can Hold Monster. Yeah, we both can.

TRAVIS: Does he qualify as a monster?

MATT: As far as you know, dragon’s pretty much a monster.

LAURA: I am putting Percy’s hand grenade inside this bag along with a diamond. Oh, it’s a really

pretty diamond.

TALIESIN: We’ll get it back, it’s okay.

LAURA: As long as it doesn’t explode.

TALIESIN: You can’t explode a diamond.

LAURA: That’s true, diamonds are really strong.

TALIESIN: Diamonds are forever.

LAURA: I put that in the bag. Are we tossing this at him? What are we doing?

SAM: No! We walk in. He’s beckoning us. Let’s walk in. I’m walking in.

MATT: All right, so you guys all walk in?

SAM: I’m going ahead.

LAURA: Here, hold the bag.

SAM: I’ll take the bag.

MATT: Zahra, are you staying ahead with Scanlan?

FELICIA: I believe that you squishy people should be back here!

TRAVIS: I’m not squishy, I go with them.

MATT: As a note, as you guys are walking through and the light hits the walls, you begin to see the

ice itself, which you’ve become accustomed to, is now being broken up into what looks like little

glittering stars. It’s almost like you’re walking through a frozen area of the night sky. You

realize that there are gold pieces frozen in sporadically all throughout the wall, the floor,

the ceiling here. The actual, whatever wealth this dragon has acquired is in some way shape or form

embedded in its own lair. Anyway. So we have the three of you up front. Who’s up next? I imagine

we’ve got Trinket.

LAURA: Yeah. Me.

MATT: All right, so you guys all continue to move forward?

MARY: Not too close!

LAURA: Scanlan!

MATT: There? Where do you want to stop? You guys have laser pointers to use, by the way, if you

want to point out wherever you want to be.

LAURA: Scanlan should definitely talk to him.

TALIESIN: I would like to go around here.

FELICIA: Oh glorious Rimefang, we have an offering for you!

TALIESIN: That’s not me.

SAM: Is that you? Hello.

MATT: No, that was you, sorry. So Percy goes here.

LAURA: Over by Percy. But further.

FELICIA: Is that 90 feet?

SAM: It’s less than that. We’re 30 feet away now.

LAURA: Oh, come on, giants. Help us out.

MATT: So as you guys enter the chamber, the actual air here is more still and cold than at any point

of the interior of the cavern has been. Even breathing inward hurts in itself as the freezing

air hits your lungs. Rimefang sits there, perched on top of this central platform, grinning down

towards the rest of the group. You, who have shouted this out, Lyra, about having an offering.

Rimefang immediately leans forward. “An offering, you say?”

LAURA: I want to make my way further up. While he’s talking, I want to make my way along the wall

a little.

MATT: Make a stealth check.

LAURA: Oh no. 20! Natural 20! And all I needed was fried chicken!

(laughter)

TRAVIS: It’s true.

MATT: All right, so. You, somehow, manage to dart out of the visual reference of a very focused

adult white dragon. Rimefang does not seem to gather any movement, and you vanish into the side.

Where do you want to go?

LAURA: A little bit further. There. That sounds good.

MATT: Okay. Percy, as you’re stepping over you realize you’re stepping onto what looks like the

broken lower half of another giant that has fallen over, a booted leg and part of an eaten armored

torso to your back. As you begin to look through, you also see there currently frozen in place three

other individuals that are in mid-battle and are frozen solid.

LAURA: If we unfreeze them, they could help us.

FELICIA: They’re probably dead in there.

TRAVIS: We’re standing in front of a dragon!

SAM: Rimefang?

MARY: Oh great Rimefang! What a glorious moon you are amidst the stars of your treasure.

TRAVIS: Oh, pour it on, why don’t you?

(laughter)

MARY: We do have an offering for you.

SAM: Yes. And I use Mage Hand to lift the diamond out of the bag and dangle it in front of the

dragon. We’ve brought you this diamond. We’ve come from the Slayer’s Take. We represent the guild and

we are here to formally apologize for sending a few of our members here in the past and promise

that we never shall again, and as a gift of apology and hopefully brotherhood, we offer you

this diamond. There are many more to come.

TALIESIN: And everything else in the bag, as well.

LAURA: And then you put it back in the bag. And then you give it to him.

MATT: There’s this low, guttural snarl (snarls). It leans forward, sneaking down off the perch a

little bit. Its head moves forward and stretches outward, no more than maybe ten feet from your

face. You can see it inspecting the diamond as you’re holding it by the Mage Hand, floating above

the rest of the bag. Chuckles to itself. (chuckles) “This is your measly offering?”

SAM: There is a diamond of much greater size and value in this pouch. But first, we want to hear

that you are going to allow us safe passage out of here before we turn it over to you.

MATT: Persuasion check.

ZAC: Guys, just so you know, the stream’s buffering, so hold. Twitch problems.

FELICIA: Oh no.

ZAC: Hold for buffer.

MATT: Do we know at what point it started buffering?

ZAC: You’re back up. Missing the last two sentences. Buffer over.

SAM: Please allow us safe passage. And then you said roll for persuasion, and I rolled a 19.

MATT: Rimefang’s head withdraws back and its claws pull back on top of the platform. It lifts its

head up, looking down at you with this very disinterested, snooty look (huffs). As it snorts

out of its nose, this puff of frost shoots out and crystals of ice fall and clatter to the ground

around it.

SAM: That was so cool.

MATT: “You. You trespass into my domain, your voices bickering and bouncing off the walls,

"annoying me, waking me from my slumber. My freshly eaten slumber. I am curious, before you so walk

"into my dinner table, why you seem to have gotten past my guardians?” At which point the two giants

who are standing behind you look over at each other nervously.

SAM: Your guardians are well aware of our power and position and did not want to offend you by

turning us away.

MATT: “Are you to tell me I spared your insignificant lives so you could let this

"insulting, insufferable insect into the heart of my domain?”

SAM: I’m called Burt Reynolds, and I take great offense at that.

MATT: The dragon’s head turns to the side for a moment as a glance of confusion and almost

amusement that you speak up to it with such a disrespectful manner. (evil laughter)

SAM: You can call me Mr. Reynolds or simply Burt.

MATT: (heavy impacts) Its claws dig in and tighten on the edges of this platform. You can see the

stonework and the ice crack and shatter under its grip as pieces of stone tumble down the edges of

the platform, scattering across the ground with a slight clattering. The wings (whoosh) unfurl

outward. Its head looks down upon you directly.

“Burt.”

(laughter)

MATT: “You say you’re from the Slayer’s Take. I have not lived these hundred years or so to become

"the hunted. I am the hunter! I am the scourge of the Thorain Tundra! I am the stalker of this

"timberland. Well. Parts of you shall adorn my walls, glittering in pieces for times to come.

"Giants. To my side! Tonight, you choose whether I dine on you or just them.”

MARY: I use– fuck me.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: I don’t know if you have that spell.

FELICIA: Really, what’s the DC on that?

MARY: It’s very high! I use Awakened Mind to once more say, now we have seen what you have been

through. We see the terror that you face every day from this awful beast. This is your chance. You

may not have another. Fight him with us and destroy this beast forever.

MATT: Make a persuasion check versus the dragon’s intimidation check.

SAM: Oh, versus a dragon!

LAURA: Natural 20 all the way. Natural 20. I’ve had my bow notched, and I cast Hunter’s Mark while

all this is going on.

MARY: 18. 18 plus what?

SAM: What is it, persuasion?

MATT: Persuasion.

MARY: Plus nine. 27.

MATT: The giants look at each other, and they look down at the rest of you. They pull their axes out,

shields at the ready, and look back up at Rimefang, and in Giant you hear, muttered under

their breath, “It’s now or never.”

(cheering)

MATT: Roll initiative.

MARY: Yes!

LAURA, FELICIA, and TALIESIN: Oh my god.

FELICIA: Oh, I rolled lower!

LAURA: I rolled a 20.

TALIESIN: I rolled another 20.

LAURA: Me too!

TRAVIS: What is it with you and your 20s?

TALIESIN: I don’t know! I don’t know what happened.

MATT: Okay, all right. 25 to 20, anyone?

LAURA: 25.

TALIESIN: 28.

MARY: What?!

MATT: All right. We have Percy, we have Vex, leaving that up there. All right,

we have 20 to 15?

TRAVIS: 19.

MATT: 19, nice. 15 to ten?

MARY: 12.

MATT: 12. Zahra, 12. Ten to five?

SAM: Seven.

MATT: Seven for Scanlan. (laughing) what did you roll?

FELICIA: Negative one!

(laughter)

MARY: That’s our leader!

MATT: Did you roll a natural one?

FELICIA: I rolled a one, and I have a negative two.

TRAVIS: On your initiative?!

FELICIA: Yes! I’m never going. I’m going to just have a snack.

TRAVIS: You break out the trail mix.

TALIESIN: The little gingers come back out.

FELICIA: Is that a record?

TRAVIS: That is a record. I don’t think we’ve ever had a negative initiative.

MATT: All right, so as the wings unfurl on top of this platform, the combat round

begins with Percy.

TALIESIN: If I take one shot, can I hold my second shot until an event? Can I time my second shot?

MATT: No, you’d have to hold your initiative, or you do all your actions in one round,

unfortunately.

TALIESIN: Darn it. What initiative did you roll, again?

SAM: Low. Second to last.

TALIESIN: In that case, I’m going to take a few steps behind that frozen creature right there. I’m

going to pull out Bad News.

MARY, SAM, and TALIESIN: (singing) Bad News!

TALIESIN: I’m going to aim for the face. I’m going to take a head shot on him.

MATT: Okay, the frozen warrior is in front of you.

TALIESIN: I’m just using him as partial cover.

MATT: Okay, so you’re behind the creature. Are you just putting it on it to aim?

TALIESIN: More or less. I’m using him as a steady and as partial cover as I take a head shot on the

dragon. I’m not taking a bonus for damage, no. Oh. 15?

MATT: 15 unfortunately does not hit. As you shoot, (gunshot), it actually hits the body but the

hardness of the dragon’s scales ricochets the shot off, (ricochet sound), you see it impact on some

part of the far side of the cavern.

TALIESIN: I’m going to burn a bonus action and spend another grit point and do another shot.

MATT: So you’re doing your action surge?

TALIESIN: I’m taking my action surge.

MATT: Okay, so you use your action surge, and that’s it for this round. You use your first round

to reload Bad News and place it back up on top.

TALIESIN: Come on.

MATT: Another head shot, you said?

TALIESIN: Yeah. Oh! 19! That’s much better. Plus 12, that’s 32 to hit. And that’s 15 points of

damage, and head shot means he’s got disadvantage on all attacks for the next round.

MATT: Okay, good to know. So I’m going to go ahead and roll. All right, so. (gunshot) From the impact

of the blast, you see the shot ricochet off of Rimefang’s face. The impact sends a couple pieces

of white dragon scale shooting off into the darkness, and the head (grunts) rears from the

impact, shakes, seemingly loosely shaken by the impact of the blast. The blowback from the gun

actually sends a large crack through the physical body of the ice warrior ahead of you, and it

collapses into a pile of ice on the ground in front of you.

TALIESIN: I feel a little guilty about that. I feel very guilty about that.

MATT: You get the feeling that whatever was there probably has not been alive

for quite a while.

TALIESIN: Okay, I feel a little better.

MATT: Frozen solid. It breaks like the T-1000.

TALIESIN: And he was the most useful he’s ever been.

MATT: That ends Percy’s turn. We’re up at Vex.

LAURA: Okay, I’m going to cast Lightning Arrow, and I’m going to attack through my Blazing Bow.

MATT: All righty.

LAURA: Okay. Oh, that’s good! That is a 25?

MATT: 25? 25 does hit, yes.

LAURA: Okay, so that is 4d8 of lightning damage.

MATT: All right. Saving throw for half? Or just take it?

LAURA: Saving throw for half, yes.

MATT: That’s a natural 20 on its saving throw, so it takes half damage.

FELICIA: That’s some stink-eye.

MATT: Hey, better on a saving throw than on an attack.

LAURA: 13 plus six is 19, 20, so ten. Plus regular damage, right? For my regular. 19. I know. 11 plus

ten is 21, plus Hunter’s Mark is four. And then plus my Blazing Bow, which adds another ten. Where

did that land? Shit, balls! I’m so aggressive right now! I’m going to roll a different one! Oh

my god. That looks like a one. Oh wow. Two ones. That’s great.

MATT: So as you pull back your arrow, the actual shaft begins to spark with bluish energy as you

release it. The arrow transforms (energy noises) into an arcing bolt of electrical energy. It

impacts and courses through the upper torso of the dragon, as it’s (grunts) still trying to shake off

the damage it took from Percy’s attack. It manages to push off most of the impact, but still takes

damage from it. There’s also a burst of fire from the impact, as well, you can see a bit of flame

trickle up the side of his body and it eventually goes out from the cold in the air.

LAURA: That was one attack.

MATT: Yes.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: But was the spell an action?

LAURA: The Lightning Arrow is a bonus.

MATT: Oh, okay. So it makes your next attack do that. Right. Gotcha. So you have one more attack.

LAURA: So I am going to send Trinket. Where is he?

MATT: Trinket’s over here with the giants guarding him.

LAURA: Dear lord. Can Trinket run around and attack his butt?

MATT: It’s actually up on top of a 15-foot platform.

LAURA: Oh, so Trinket can’t do shit right now.

MATT: Not right now, but Trinket can move if you like.

LAURA: Trinket’s going to move, and I’m going to attack again, can I do that?

MATT: Yeah, you can do that.

LAURA: We want to spread out.

MATT: That’s as far as Trinket get can get, there.

LAURA: Can I attack again?

MATT: You can, yeah.

LAURA: All right, I’ll hit him again. Okay, just a regular attack through the bow.

MATT: Yep. This is your second use of it, though; you’re done with it.

LAURA: Yes. 17.

MATT: 17. As you fire the arrow, it takes its wing and (whoosh) batters it out of the way, and the arrow

shatters in mid air. You see a burst of fire as it does nothing.

LAURA: It was a 25 that hit before. What was the first attack that hit?

TALIESIN: I was in the 30s.

MATT: So that ends your turn, Vex. Do you want to move, or do you want to stay right there?

LAURA: Can I stealth?

MATT: (laughs) No, that’s a hide action, I think.

LAURA: Then I’m going to move along the wall further. Yeah, like that.

MATT: That ends your turn. Rimefang, now, shaking off the frustration, looks around the room, lifts

up on its back hind legs, spreads its wings, and just gives this large roar. (roars) The entire

room shakes, and you see pieces of ice and rock begin to start falling from the ceiling.

Everybody, go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw. Everybody. One giant is fine. All right,

starting with Percy.

TALIESIN: 12.

MATT: 12.

FELICIA: 15.

SAM: Natural 20, but it becomes 18.

MATT: Okay.

FELICIA: Because you’re not wise.

MARY: 21.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Ten.

MATT: Grog?

TRAVIS: Nine?

MATT: That’s rough.

TRAVIS: Very wise.

SAM: Oh, lots of red circles.

MATT: All right, so. The sheer amount of presence that this dragon permeates sends a shiver of fear

down your spine. Vex, Percy, Grog, and one of the giants are currently frightened of the dragon.

While you are frightened, you have disadvantage on ability checks and attack rolls, and you cannot

willingly move closer to the dragon.

LAURA: Is Trinket frightened?

MATT: Roll for Trinket.

LAURA: Okay. Come on, Trinket. No! He’s probably pretty frightened. Oh, does that count as

intimidation?

MATT: No, it’s a wisdom saving throw. So it’s whatever his wisdom bonus is.

LAURA: He rolled an eight, so I’m guessing he’s pretty scared.

MATT: Probably scared. Trinket, all of a sudden also (scared bear noises) backs up a little bit

and is looking equally frightened, especially seeing you scared. Trinket feels a moment of fear

there.

LAURA: You’ve still got a really big dick!

FELICIA: What?

LAURA: I’m just telling him to encourage him.

TRAVIS: I missed something.

SAM: Not the dragon. Although, probably the dragon too.

MATT: Rimefang then (whoosh) flies up into the air for a minute. And then swoops over and lands over

on this side, and that’s going to end its turn. That brings us to Grog.

TRAVIS: I got to break it, right?

MATT: Yeah, you’re scared.

TRAVIS: Rage? I look over my shoulder, terrified, at the other one that’s scared, and I say, repeat

after me, lads. I would like to rage.

MATT: You reach into your inner self, and suddenly you realize this is it. You know dragons, you’ve

fought dragons in the past, you’ve killed dragons in the past, and you know dragons have been

responsible for hurting some of your friends and their families, and through that, that anger just

billows up from inside, and that fear shakes from your body.

TRAVIS: I want to kill a dragon like my friend Pike did.

MATT: You’re now in a rage. You shake the fear effect, and you can take the rest of your turn as

you see fit.

TRAVIS: (battle cry) I would like to run over that direction.

SAM: Oh, you’re running away from it?

MATT: You rage-ran.

TRAVIS: I rage-ran. Can I attack?

MATT: You’re currently hiding behind a 15-foot platform.

TRAVIS: So I can’t see beyond it?

MATT: You’re literally hiding from the dragon right now. Cool. All right, that ends your turn?

Zahra, you’re up.

MARY: All right, how far away is it from me?

MATT: It is currently 30 feet from you.

MARY: All right.

MATT: Real fast. Grog, make a dexterity saving throw.

TRAVIS: 13?

MATT: 13?

LAURA: What was that for?

MATT: As you’re running through, all of a sudden the floor gives out from underneath you, and you

roll off to the side. You almost fall in, catching yourself, you slide down into a pit, but manage to

get your handhold on a piece of stone that’s jutting out of the rock. Pull yourself up.

Underneath where you were in the ground is a cracked piece of ice: a pit in the ground.

LAURA: Seriously?

MATT: But you’re fine. You get back up to your feet. That could’ve been really bad. It’s about 15

feet down into these jagged shards of ice.

LAURA: My passive perception is 21. Just for future reference.

MATT: Good to know. You also have no light source. You’re at the far back in the darkness. Actually,

you have Grog around you right now.

MARY: And I still have Light cast.

MATT: Yeah, so you’re fine. All right. That brings us to Zahra, once again.

MARY: I cast my bonus Hex on this beautiful beast.

MATT: It is now Hexed, as well.

SAM: What’s that do? What’s that?

MARY: I get extra damage.

TRAVIS: You sexy tailed bastard.

MARY: I take my dark dragon staff, and as this moon orb begins to glow, I cast Witch Bolt– is

that it?– yes! Witch Bolt upon it! Infused with my own internal moon fire.

MATT: All right. Do you have to roll to hit on that one?

MARY: Witch Bolt? Yeah, what do I do? It’s plus 11. 5d12 plus two.

LAURA: Yeah, so roll and then add 11.

MARY: 13.

LAURA: Oh, that’s good.

MARY: 24, plus two damage to all spells cast, so 26?

LAURA: No, that’s damage.

MARY: Oh, sorry, 24.

MATT: All right, so Witch Bolt does hit. Go ahead and roll damage for that.

MARY: So 5d12. Five times. All right. Do math for me, somebody. What is that? That’s a three.

TRAVIS: Three plus the two, so that’s five.

LAURA: You do it all and then add the two.

TRAVIS: Oh, gotcha. Seven.

MARY: That’s four.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Plus four. 19. 26. 38.

MARY: One more?

LAURA: No, that’s all five.

MATT: Five, and you add 1d6 to that because of your Hex.

LAURA: Plus two, so 38 is 40.

MARY: One.

MATT: Okay. So 41 points.

MARY: Yeah.

LAURA: Plus anything else? Wait, plus two damage to all– oh, but that’s already–

TRAVIS: That’s already there.

MATT: Okay, so. After you Hex it, you can see the shadows around the dragon begin to form and

coalesce around its torso, and as it looks around, these small demonic faces that cackle as bits of

moonlight begin to pierce through these grins chokehold around its neck, and as it tries to

shake it off, you bring your staff forward, and this bolt of bluish-green electrical energy shakes

out in what looks like a piercing arc of jagged moonlight that strikes right into the center of

the dragon’s chest. As it does, the dragon’s nearly pushed off its feet for a second, gathers

itself, and you can see that energy surrounds it like magical shackles, it continues to keep its

hold on the creature, as Witch Bolt does. All right. Do you wish to move, or are you going to

stay where you are? You can move 30 feet, six squares.

MARY: I’d like to go stand by the giants.

TRAVIS: You’re already there.

MATT: Yeah, you’re right here. It’s hard for you to see because that guy’s in the way, but you’re

right there.

MARY: All right. No, the other way. Blinding players as we go. Where am I? I’m there? I’d like

to move to the slight cover of the pedestal.

MATT: You can get that far. All right, so there you are. That ends your turn, Zahra. Scanlan,

you’re up.

SAM: My eyes begin to change to a dark shade as I turn my gaze to the dragon

and cast Eyebite on him.

TRAVIS: What? Cast what?

SAM: Eyebite.

MATT: All right. And how are you having that affect him?

SAM: I would like to sicken him. Give him a little tummy-ache.

TRAVIS: Is he going to do the twirls?

MATT: Okay, we’re going to do Eyebite here.

SAM: Through my Hand Cone of Clarity!

MATT: All right. So wisdom saving throw for the dragon. Use my meteor dice one of the fans out

there sent. All right, what’s the DC on that now total?

SAM: It’s 19.

MATT: 19. That would fail. It’s going to use its legendary resistance to

choose to succeed instead.

SAM: It can just choose to succeed?!

TRAVIS: How many times can it choose to do that?!

MATT: Three times per day. Welcome to fighting a dragon!

SAM: What? But that was a cool spell!

MATT: So as your eyes darken, the dragon’s currently surrounded by the Witch Bolt and the Hex

on the creature. You darken your eyes, and you look over and see the arcane energy taking your

vision, its vision, combine it in midair. As you do, it shakes its head and (roars) shouts. You

instinctively pull back, and as you do, the spell drifts away from you and you realize the

incantation’s lost.

TRAVIS: Percy, use your badass motherfucker feat to have it work.

SAM: Okay, can I throw with a bonus action?

MATT: What are you going to throw?

SAM: A bag.

MATT: No, that’s probably more of an action, but you can drop it as a bonus action.

SAM: Got it. Then I will move a few steps away. I can still move and stuff, right? I would like to

move away from this group of soon-to-be-blasted-with-dragon-fire people. Just a

few yards away to my left.

MATT: All right.

SAM: That’s fine, sure, that’s great. And give some inspiration to Lyra. I’ll say, (singing) When

the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s Aldor-e.

(cheering)

TRAVIS: Yeah, going deep.

MATT: And suddenly, the fear that’s getting close to clutching your heart and giving you every

instinct to run from this, you hear the name Aldor, and you feel that surge of warmth fill your

body, and the need to push on forward. Go ahead and take a d10 inspiration dice to use in any roll

you want.

FELICIA: Oh my gosh, thank you so much. That’s beautiful.

SAM: Well, I wrote it for you.

MATT: All right. That ends your turn, Scanlan. Now the giants go. This one is going to move to the

side. It’s deathly afraid of the dragon, it’s like, this is a bad idea, it’s really regretting

its decision. It’s going to attempt to shake the effect. And does so.

(cheering)

MATT: Shakes its fright. The other one is going to step over you. As you’re like, all of a sudden

this foot goes (wham) in front of you, you’re like, (nervous sound).

FELICIA: Oh my god, I got hit with his dick.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: What were their names? Ace and Base?

SAM and MARY: Ace and Gary.

MATT: The giant’s going to move forward. It’s going to attempt to make two strikes with its

greataxe. That’s going to be a 17, that misses. And a 16, that misses. (whooshing) Makes two

strikes to the dragon, and it just dodges out of the way. The second one, it reaches up with its

claw and slaps, just parries its axe out of the way and just glares at it, and you can see at that

moment, the giant also itself is like (growls). Ending their turn. Lyra, you’re up.

FELICIA: Oh, what? Finally me? All right. I am going to get my big spell out. Now, can I target

its wing and try to Disintegrate– can I try to cut its wing off?

MATT: You know what, yeah, if you want to go ahead and try that. It’s going to be a disadvantage on

the attack roll.

FELICIA: What is that?

TRAVIS: Roll it twice and you get the lower number.

MATT: But does Disintegrate have–

FELICIA: It doesn’t have a DC.

MATT: Then it would have an advantage on the saving throw.

FELICIA: Oh, okay. No, I’m going to try to hit it. It’s my big gun, I don’t want to be like, sorry.

I’m like, I just did this and it looked amazing.

SAM: Which one are you doing?

FELICIA: I’m doing Disintegrate. And it’s 10d6 plus a d10, plus 40. Right? It’s not the best

roll, guys. There’s a lot of small numbers here.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it’s only got plus 40. It’s a pretty shrimpy hit.

LAURA: Wait, plus 40?

MATT: Yeah, it’s 10d6 plus 40 force damage.

TRAVIS: I need to get a wand.

MATT: Disintegrate’s nasty.

FELICIA: 39.

MATT: 39 plus 40? All right, that’s 79 points of damage. What’s the DC? It’s 17 on that for your

spells?

FELICIA: Yes.

MATT: It does make its saving throw, so half damage. But rounding up, that’s 40 damage still.

40 force damage to the dragon. As you, with the swelling of energy that Scanlan gave you reminding

you of Aldor, you release and once again that sickeningly green beam of arcane energy just

streaks out, hits the dragon, and with a burst of arcane energy you can see part of its scales have

withered, part of its wing is now tattered and missing, and immediately the physical form of the

dragon, it’s reeling in pain.

LAURA: So if we aim at that area that doesn’t have scales…

MATT: You’ll find out.

MARY: But you’ve still got the Witch Bolt wrapping around him, yeah?

MATT: That is focused.

FELICIA: I definitely want to move. I want to move over there behind that– over here. Yeah. So I’m a

little less conspicuous.

MATT: All righty. Cool. That will be the top of the round. Percy, you’re up.

TALIESIN: Still no hand-grenade.

MATT: No. The fear has shaken you, so you cannot move closer to it, and you have disadvantage on

attacks.

TALIESIN: What do I do to shake the fear?

MATT: At the end of your turn, you make a saving throw to try and shake it. You can’t move closer

to it, but you can still attack it. You cannot move closer to it, and your attacks have

disadvantage.

TALIESIN: Okay, I’m going to try and take a shot at it with a standard shot for right now.

MATT: Okay. So because you’ve shot, reloaded, shot, reloaded. Go for it.

TALIESIN: 17. Wait, and with disadvantage.

FELICIA: Oh no. That’s a great 20 you can’t use.

MATT: Yeah. So a total of 17? As you fire, it would’ve hit, unfortunately it streaks through the

portion of the wing that currently is left a gaping hole thanks to the Disintegrate spell, the

impact of the bullet itself blasting against the back wall, sending chunks and shards of ice

spilling off in the distance.

TALIESIN: I would like to really quickly then go into that little corner there for some cover.

MATT: Okay. All right. Cool, so that ends your turn. Vex, you’re up next.

TALIESIN: Oh, I didn’t roll to shake off the fear.

MATT: Go ahead and make the save.

TRAVIS: (singing) Shake it off.

ALL: (singing) Shake it off!

MATT: What’d you roll?

TALIESIN: Five.

MATT: Five, yeah. The fear is still clutching you internally, like, “Shit, dragon, bad, dragon!”

Vex.

LAURA: Can I see him at all?

MATT: Right now? No. You can see parts of the wings fluttering over, but you don’t have a very

good visual on it.

LAURA: And he’s pretty far away?

MATT: He’s decent distance, yeah.

LAURA: If I just try to (bowstring noise) up?

MATT: You can try to. It has three-quarters cover, so it gets a plus five to its armor class.

LAURA: And I’m at disadvantage. Does it seem like if I cast something that would do mass damage,

would the giant then not want to attack with us anymore?

MATT: That’s a risk you’d have to take.

TRAVIS: Drop some stank on that dragon.

LAURA: I’m scared to hit the giant with it. Because I want to do Conjure Barrage, but I’m

afraid of the giant.

FELICIA: Well, if you do damage to him, the spell breaks.

LAURA: Exactly. So that would be bad.

SAM: But he’s not fighting for us because of a spell right now. We convinced him.

FELICIA and TALIESIN: Well.

LAURA: Potentially.

TRAVIS: Look at the poker face on that DM. Giving up nothing. Giving up nothing!

FELICIA: Stone-faced.

LAURA: Should I try it?

TALIESIN: I don’t know. What do I know?

MARY: If we damage it, this spell that I’ve been talking to him with goes (poof).

LAURA: All right, then I’m going to try to hit the dragon with a regular attack. I’m not going to do

Conjure Barrage.

MATT: All right, so what’s the first range increment on your longbow?

LAURA: It’s 120.

MATT: That’s the first range increment? Yeah, it’s a longbow, yeah. So you’re not at disadvantage

from that shot. However, it does have three-quarters cover. And given that

circumstance–

TALIESIN: Does she not have sharpshooter?

LAURA: I don’t. That’s not the feat that I took. I took read lips. I’m really good in populated

areas.

MATT: So go for it and roll for the attacks.

LAURA: Okay, cool. Here we go! Yeah, no. Doesn’t hit.

(laughter)

FELICIA: We’re going to die!

MATT: You pull back and release the first arrow. It actually just barely scrapes the top of the

platform and shatters across the ice.

MARY: Come on!

LAURA: That’s better! 27!

MATT: 27, even with the three-quarters cover, does hit! Go ahead and roll damage.

(cheering)

LAURA: Okay. What is that? 12, 13, 14! Plus a d6, because I’m badass! Plus six! That’s 19. That’s

not even close to 40, but it does something.

MATT: It’s still damage! So as you release the arrow, it just misses the top of the platform, and

you get just enough of an angle that it hits one of the wings as it pulls it up, sticks into the

part of its hand that crests the top of the wing. It (growls)–

LAURA: And I say, fuck you!

MATT: Okay. And it echoes, “Fuck you, fuck you…” Do you or Trinket wish to move?

LAURA: We’re as far away as we can be, and I can’t move any closer.

MATT: That’s true. So now you and Trinket both make wisdom saving throws to try and shake the

fear. Oh, and you’re frightened, so actually, roll again on the attack. Disadvantage on the attacks.

Just roll again. You’re frightened.

LAURA: No, both of those sucked. The first one was 20. 20 was the first!

MATT: So a total of 20 for the second roll? Well, that would hit. Well no, it has

three-quarters cover so it wouldn’t, unfortunately.

LAURA: Matthew Mercer.

MATT: You were frightened! It’s part of the effect. I had to remind myself that. So the arrow

splinters off the top of the wing as it reaches upward, and you still feel the fear clutching your

physical self.

LAURA: Now we try to shake it off.

MATT: Now you try and shake it off.

LAURA: (sings) I shake it off.

MARY: (sings) Shake it off!

MATT: First roll is for you.

LAURA: I do not succeed. It’s a three.

MATT: That would be a no, sorry. For Trinket?

LAURA: 20! Why did you say the first one was for me? Why couldn’t the second one be for me?

MATT: Because that’s how it works. So while you’re still scared, you look over and you see Trinket

shakes it off. Trinket looks over his shoulder at you and gives you a nod of like, I got this. Turns

back to the dragon and gives a (roars) giant grizzly-bear growl and shout at the dragon. Do you

wish to move at all?

LAURA: Where is he?

MATT: Trinket’s right here.

LAURA: He’s going to run up for the time being and hide. Give me this.

FELICIA: Hide? Why is everyone hiding?!

LAURA: He’s not hiding! He’s going to run up to this area so that he’s got a better vantage point

to run up for the next turn.

MATT: That’s about as far as Trinket can get right there.

LAURA: He can’t get any further into this little crevice?

MATT: Unfortunately, no.

LAURA: Can he run right here?

MATT: Trinket could move here instead. That’s as far as Trinket could move on his movement.

LAURA: That’s not really protecting him, is it?

MATT: No, but it’s not over in a cluster of other people.

LAURA: All right.

MATT: All right. Does that end your turn? Rimefang, who currently has this giant in its

face, angrily decides to instead, as a legendary action at the end of your turn, actually, before

it takes its turn as you’ve misfired and Trinket’s running along, it’s going to go ahead and use one

of its legendary actions to do a wing attack against the giant in front of it.

MARY: No, Derek!

TRAVIS: (laughs) Derek. It’s Gary.

MARY: Gary. He told me telepathically that his name is actually Derek.

MATT: This is an interesting point. Remember, this is a dragon. It’s your favored enemy. So keep that in

mind, you have an advantage on attacks against it.

LAURA: Do I? No, I don’t. I looked it up today, yo. I don’t get shit on attacks for him because we

transferred over from Pathfinder. All I can do is talk to him.

MATT: The chat keeps yelling that the favored enemy–

LAURA: Well, chat, I looked it up, and I don’t think I have advantage.

MATT: That’s true, chat. You’re wrong.

(shouting)

LAURA: I literally texted Matt today and I was super upset.

ZAC: Did chat try to challenge the DM?

MATT: Apparently.

LAURA: Seriously, I thought I had it, too, and then I looked it up. In fifth edition,

I don’t get that.

MATT: As a favored enemy, she gets benefits, but not specifically in battle. It’s more about

knowing–

SAM: I appreciate the chat. Please, keep it coming.

MARY: Couldn’t that inspire Vex in some way? Don’t you get an inspiration roll from the chat?

MATT: Sorry.

FELICIA: You know what’s good is that it’s a different team next week, because we’re all going

to die.

MARY: No! Lyra, you’re our leader, come on!

MATT: Sorry, chat. You’re wrong. Tried to go with you there, but you’re wrong.

LAURA: I shouldn’t have even said anything, I should’ve just gone with you. I’m an idiot.

MATT: That’s okay. No worries, but thank you for being honest and wrong, chat. All right,

nevertheless. It’s going to do a wing attack against the giant in front of it. The giant is

trying to make a dexterity saving throw. Does not. The giant is knocked prone from the wings (whoosh)

buffeting it with wind as it begins to take off, knocking the giant back and dealing 13 points of

bludgeoning damage. The dragon then picks up and lands right there. And rears back its head

(snarling roar) and unleashes a torrent of freezing cold dragon’s breath. A 60-foot cone.

It’s going to hit the giant, it’s going to hit Lyra, and it’s going to hit Percy.

TALIESIN: Do I not have some cover?

MATT: Not against dragon’s breath, unfortunately. So I need both of you guys to go ahead and make a

constitution saving throw from the sheer freezing cold.

FELICIA: Oh no. That didn’t go well for me.

SAM: Plus three.

FELICIA: Oh, that’s true. No, that’s damage.

TALIESIN: 20.

SAM: Wait. She gets my inspiration on this throw.

MATT: If she chooses to use it, yes.

FELICIA: Yes, I definitely want to use it.

MATT: So add a d10 to what you rolled.

FELICIA: Ten! Thank god, because that’s a 21.

MATT: 21, okay. All right, so both of you take half of the 54 damage it would’ve dealt.

LAURA: 54 damage?

MATT: You both take 27 points of cold damage. The giant that had been partially disintegrated before

by Lyra now takes the brunt of the frozen damage, and you can now see the ice begins to build up

around it as it (gurgling) gurgles as its life’s blood is now stilled. While frozen in place, the

ice around its physical form holding it there as a statue of death. The giant is no more.

TRAVIS and MARY: No!

LAURA: What? No!

SAM: Grog, go get his axe! It’s really big!

LAURA: Is it too big to carry? He’s got a flaming axe right now.

MATT: All right, and that ends Rimefang’s turn. Grog, you’re up.

TRAVIS: I would like to race back from whence I came to attack his right flank, if I could.

MATT: You could get there. You will have to make– actually, no, you can move through there without

an issue.

TRAVIS: Also, I have darkvision up to 60 feet.

MATT: You rush up towards the dragon.

TRAVIS: I’d like to take my Firebrand Warhammer and activate it. Ignite it.

MATT: As a bonus action. Well, it’s already been ignited, you’ve had it flaming this whole time.

TRAVIS: Oh, beautiful, yeah. It’s like a torch, which means I can see even better. I’d like to go

into a frenzied rage and start swinging away.

MATT: All right, so three attacks on the big old dragon.

TRAVIS: 19.

MATT: 19 does hit.

TRAVIS: Beautiful. 25.

MATT: Does hit.

TRAVIS: And 23.

MATT: All three hit. Go ahead and roll damage.

LAURA: Okay, so this is the new thing. d10 plus five plus eight. Plus another–

TRAVIS: d10?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: You’re hitting with a weapon that’s not as big as your greataxe, but you do an additional 1d6

fire damage when you hit.

TRAVIS: Holy shit. Ah!

MATT: d10 and a d6 together three times. Plus eight to each.

TRAVIS: Three d10s?

LAURA: Yes. Plus 3d6.

MATT: Plus eight to what you roll on both of those.

TRAVIS: You threw a bunch of numbers at me.

MATT: All right, so a d10 and a d6 plus eight.

TRAVIS: 19.

MATT: 19 damage.

TRAVIS: Do I do that three times? Oh, wow. 19, and that’s 12.

MATT: 12, all right.

TRAVIS: 12 and then, help me numbers, that’s–

LAURA: Oh, that’s good, 16. Plus? Ooh. 21.

MATT: Nice. (whack) As you bring the warhammer down, it smacks the side of the dragon, the flames

all of a sudden burst off of it from the impact, you can see as you pull back, the white scales are

burned and charred and blackened behind from the first attack. You bring it back, slam again on the

second part. As you do, the dragon roars out in pain, the actual force of the impact almost

sending it to catch itself on the other side of its body. Its head swings around to look at

whoever’s slamming it in the side as you bring the hammer back, swing underneath and then hit it from

underneath the bottom of its torso, right where its ribs would be, with a (crunch) crack sound.

You hit it a third time, leaving a second giant charred mark where you made impact.

TRAVIS: Yes!

MATT: That’ll end your turn. Zahra, you’re up.

MARY: All right, I’ve still got Witch Bolt.

MATT: You do.

MARY: And it’s still going, yes?

MATT: You don’t have to roll to attack again. You just use your action.

MARY: I just fucking keep going with the fucking Witch Bolt. Can I use a cantrip, or will that

dispel the Witch Bolt?

MATT: No, because most cantrips take an action. So you would not be able to. The Witch Bolt is your

action. Almost all cantrips are actions to use them, so you’d be either able to use your action

and the Witch Bolt, or use the cantrip. Your choice.

MARY: No, no, I’m going to stick with Witch Bolt. I’m very happy with this.

MATT: So you focus yet again, your eyes still glowing in that strange, midnight moon color with

this black smoke that’s framing the side of it. You take your staff and force your will through it

once again. That connection between you and the dragon and that weird swirling greenish-blue

energy that surrounds the dragon connects with your staff. And as it does, it sends another bolt

of otherworldly energy careening into the side of the dragon. Go ahead and roll damage.

LAURA: I watch her with my mouth agape.

TRAVIS: d12.

LAURA: Five times.

TRAVIS: We got you.

MARY: 12. 17.

TRAVIS: 19.

LAURA and TRAVIS: Ooh, 30.

LAURA and MARY: 37.

LAURA: And one more.

TRAVIS: No, that’s five.

MATT: That was five. Then you roll a 1d6 on top of that.

MARY: Plus two on that.

MATT: All right, so 38, then a d6 from your Hex.

MARY: Six.

MATT: So 44 points of damage.

LAURA: Nice!

MATT: As it once again, a giant piece of the dragon’s scales shatter off the side, like you’re

cracking into the center of an icy, mountainous cragside. It’s starting to show a little bit of

damage. You guys are definitely taking this battle head-on pretty well so far.

TRAVIS: I don’t like the way he said that.

MATT: You’re going to stay where you are, or are you going to move?

MARY: How close am I to it?

MATT: You’re currently 20 feet away from the dragon. 15 is between the two of you.

MARY: All right. I stay within 30 feet of it.

MATT: All right, so you want to move this way?

MARY: I want to get up to the heavens. Oh, sorry. I’m going to actually, you know what? I’m going to

move three feet backwards, that’s it.

MATT: Okay, so you just step back? Okay. There you go. All right. That ends Zahra’s turn. Scanlan,

you’re up.

SAM: How close am I?

MATT: You are currently about 20 feet away from the dragon.

SAM: All right. Yes. Hi. Scanlan here. I’ll do, (singing) It’s Bigby’s Hand! Bigby’s Hand.

Shamone. I’ll just punch him in his dragon face.

MATT: (laughs) Okay. You do a quick little hand gesture, hum to yourself the arcane ritual, and a

very large, mystical see-through replica of your fist appears in the air above you and goes

spinning off in the air in an arc. Straight up Popeye-punching towards the dragon. (laughs) Let’s

go ahead, and Bigby– what do you have to roll for that?

SAM: Oh, I have to roll for that?

MATT: Let me see what the effect is on that, remind myself real fast. Bigby’s Hand. All right,

so it’s an AC of 20. Or no, that’s the hand, all right. Clenched fist, cool. So make a melee spell

attack. So roll a d20 and then add your spell attack modifier.

SAM: That’s the spell attack bonus thing? Okay. 19.

MATT: 19. (wham) Just barely hits as the fist goes slamming into the side of the dragon’s face, big

old Popeye punch to the side of the jaw. So go ahead and roll 4d8 points of force damage.

SAM: 4d8. I’m taking yours, and I hope that’s okay. Ten, 13, 18, 21. Plus something?

MATT: That’s 21 points of damage, nice. (whack) It gets socked in the jaw. The hand whips around

again, preparing for the next round. Do you want to use anything, move, use your bonus action?

SAM: I’m 20 feet away. I will go 18 feet away from it and drop the grenade.

MATT: Okay. So you move forward right here?

SAM: Yeah, closer to it.

MATT: Okay. The grenade is right there on the ground that Percy made. All right. Going to stay

where you are?

SAM: Can I keep moving?

MATT: You can keep moving. You moved 18 feet backward, you mean?

SAM: No, I had to move closer to it.

MATT: Right, so you moved three feet of your 25 feet, dropped it, and you still have 22 feet you

can move.

SAM: But if I leave, he’s going to whack me.

MATT: No, he’s this far away. You have to be within a certain range for him to hit you.

SAM: Wait, how close did I put the grenade to him?

MATT: It’s currently 18 feet away from him.

SAM: No, I wanted to put it two feet away from him.

MATT: Oh, I see! There, that makes more sense. So now there is a grenade on the ground, right there.

You are there, right next to Grog. So yeah, you cannot move away without it taking a swipe.

TRAVIS: Oh, look at that.

SAM: Hello, I’m a little gnome.

TRAVIS: It’s adorable.

MATT: All right. That ends your turn. The giant that’s here gets up. That’s half of its movement.

It’s enough to get there, moves up behind and is going to make two of its axe-swipes.

MARY: Hit him in the arse!

FELICIA: Butthole.

SAM: That was crass.

MATT: 15 doesn’t hit. Second attack is going to be a 13. It’s rolling shit. It swings twice and

manages to catch air.

FELICIA: The most useless giant.

MATT: Apparently. But you know what, they didn’t smash you yet. That’s a good thing. That brings us

to Lyra’s turn.

FELICIA: Question. Can I Fireball without hitting anybody who’s friendly?

MATT: From this point of view, it’s going to be very difficult to pull that off. It’s a 20-foot

radius, so it’s going to hit everything within that sphere.

TRAVIS: Oh, you actually care about us that much?

MARY: Can I use– everybody is really close. All right.

FELICIA: Okay, so I can’t do that. I think I’m going to cast Hold Monster.

MATT: Hold Monster! You take your arcane thoughts and you put them around, imagining this arcane

cage that begins to form out of the ether around the dragon. These bars (crash) and tighten around

it. The dragon rolls a two for its saving throw.

(cheering)

MATT: But it’s going to use its Legendary Resistance to automatically succeed.

FELICIA: How many of those does he have?!

TRAVIS: He has one more.

FELICIA: I need to move.

MATT: (laughs) The cage tightens around it, and the dragon takes its wings and (shattering) buffs

it off, the arcane cage shatters and disappears into the air.

FELICIA: I was going to be impressive. Okay. I’m going to get the H out. I’m going to get as far as

I can in that corner. Yeah, thank you. Bye-bye.

MATT: All righty. Good to know. All right, that ends your turn. That brings us back to the top.

Percy, you’re up.

TALIESIN: Okay, I’m going to– That grenade is sitting on top of people right now, isn’t it?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: You mean that hamster, right?

MATT: Your call, man.

TRAVIS: Come on, live a little.

TALIESIN: It’s going to hit you.

TRAVIS: Well, that’s all right.

LAURA: Yeah, but it’s also going to hit Scanlan.

MATT: You still have disadvantage on your attacks, by the way.

TALIESIN: Even if my attack is not against the dragon?

MATT: As long as it’s within eyesight of you, you’re scared.

TALIESIN: Okay, in that case, I’m going to take a shot at the dragon for the moment.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Forget about that.

MATT: Disadvantage on the shot.

TALIESIN: 19.

MATT: 19. That’s with disadvantage? Does hit.

(cheering)

TALIESIN: Oh, that’s nice. 26 points of damage.

MATT: 26 points of damage, nice.

SAM: Hey! Percy.

TALIESIN: I have moments.

MATT: All right, and you reload with the other one. You can’t move closer to it. Do you wish to

move at all?

TALIESIN: No, I’m going to hold my position.

MATT: Okay. Before the end of your turn–

TALIESIN: I was about to say, before I do that, I’m going to use a bonus action to do a quick

heal. I’m going to use second wind.

MATT: Oh, a second wind, go for it. So you go ahead and heal yourself 1d10 plus your level.

TALIESIN: That’s 11 points of damage.

MATT: There you go. So you heal 11 points of damage. Before your turn is over, it’s going to

use its last legendary action to take its tail and swing around and whack it at the gnome that it

heard sneak up behind it and drop something on the ground. That’s going to be a natural 20.

(shouting)

LAURA: He said it so happily, too. Evil.

TALIESIN: You’re in trouble.

SAM: Wait, what did he do?

MATT: As you drop it, you look up and see its tail go (whoosh, whack).

SAM: Whoa, but can I sing real quick?

MATT: It’s a natural 20. There’s no way you can avoid this hit.

SAM: Maybe it’ll fling me away from the grenade.

FELICIA: (singing) Bye bye bye.

TRAVIS: No, not cool!

MATT: 36 points of bludgeoning damage as the tail slams down onto you.

LAURA: And also onto the grenade.

SAM: But it’s not a concussion grenade.

TRAVIS: Oh, I’m right fucking there! I was going to move!

LAURA: I’m sorry!

MATT: And down onto the grenade you set on the ground. (boom)

SAM: Is it a concussion grenade? It’s already armed, isn’t it?

MATT: It is filled with black powder, and is a triggerable mechanism.

LAURA: I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said that.

MATT: I appreciate the reminder, because I totally forgot for a second. As it slams into you and the

ground, it slams into the grenade and there’s an explosion muffled sound from underneath its tail.

I want Grog and Scanlan to go ahead and make dexterity saving throws.

TRAVIS: Yes! 21.

LAURA: Come on, Scanlan.

SAM: 20.

MATT: All right. Both of you guys manage to keep low to the ground, avoiding most of the blast.

SAM: I’m already low to the ground.

MATT: All right. Both of you guys take half damage from the strike. You both take 12 points of fire

and bludgeoning damage.

LAURA: Did the dragon take damage?

MATT: The dragon does not make its saving throw against it, though, and takes the full– what’d I

tell you guys? 12?

SAM: All right! The grenade worked!

(cheering)

MATT: Pulls its tail up, and there’s like a big arc of smoke off of its tail as it pulls it up and

shakes out the pain that it just suffered.

TALIESIN: Can I take this moment of engineering success to try and pull a wisdom saving throw

against my fear that I missed on my turn?

MATT: That’s right, forgot that. So go ahead and make your wisdom saving throw. The explosion was

the inspiration you required.

TALIESIN: Natural 20!

(cheering)

TALIESIN: It worked! (cackles)

MATT: With the explosion the grenade set off, you realize, wait, you might actually have this, and

it worked! You could do this!

TALIESIN: I built a thing! And it blew up! Kind of on purpose!

MATT: There you go. At the end of your turn, that’s its final legendary action.

Vex, you’re up.

LAURA: Can I try to shake off the attack?

MATT: At the end of your turn, you do.

LAURA: Oh, at the end. But I was inspired by that explosion!

MATT: It was inspiring. It may help you shake it off at the end of the round.

LAURA: Okay. I’m going to attack it. Oh, that’s such a good roll.

MARY: That is. Oh, that’s even better!

LAURA: That’s okay. It was a disadvantage. That’s 27 with a disadvantage with the exploding arrow.

MATT: With the Exploding Arrow? That does hit.

TRAVIS: More Percy goodness.

LAURA: So what do I do? Do I just roll regular?

MATT: So go ahead and roll regular arrow damage. With an additional 2d6. Sorry, 3d6. Well, with the

arrow, it’s 2d6. The grenade was 3d6. You’re 2d6.

LAURA: Oh shit. 16 and then 3d6?

MATT: 3d8, sorry.

LAURA: 3d8?!

MATT: Sorry. 3d8 was the grenade. 2d8 for the exploding arrow. 2d8.

LAURA: 2d8.

MATT: Sorry. It’s a lot of numbers.

LAURA: That’s okay, I’m going to roll them both. Okay. Six additional. Did I say what my other

damage was. Was I speaking out loud?

MATT: Yeah, no. I marked it down. I also need Scanlan and Grog to make dexterity saving throws.

LAURA: Oh no, I’m sorry, I’m stupid!

SAM: Wait, what did you just shoot at us?

LAURA: An exploding arrow!

SAM: Nice.

TRAVIS: 18.

SAM: 11.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I also meant to say I was shooting from my Blood-Seeker Bow. I pulled it out and said I was

going to do it.

MATT: You pull out your Blood-Seeker Bow?

LAURA: I was going to shoot from my Blood-Seeker Bow for that.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Can I do that?

MATT: I’ll let it. So it is now taking an ongoing ten points of bleeding damage? Now, you take three

points of fire damage. Scanlan, you take six points of fire damage. You guys avoid the grenade,

and then (arrow noises) a second explosion again.

TALIESIN: I’m sorry. I’m a genius! I’m sorry! Sorry! Oh god, I’m clever.

LAURA: So for my second attack, I want to throw Trinket in and I want Trinket to

go up and attack him.

MATT: Trinket rushes in and is going to make two attacks at it.

LAURA: He’s going to do two claw attacks, so that’s 2d4 each time.

MATT: Go for it. So go ahead and roll for the first strike. He’s no longer scared, so Trinket

does not have the disadvantage.

LAURA: Okay, he doesn’t hit on the first one. But the second one, he gets a 21!

MATT: 21 hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

LAURA: Yes! Okay. Was I wrong?

MARY: That’s 23.

LAURA: Oh, okay. Either way.

MATT: It hits even harder!

MARY: It hits harder?

MATT: (Irish accent) Exactly. What’s that about? Rightly so.

LAURA: That’s 13 extra damage for Trinket.

MATT: 13 extra damage as Trinket runs up, first strike hits the armor and just streaks across

without damage, but as soon as the dragon turns around to see the giant brown bear that has gotten

brave enough to strike it, its other claw goes and sinks into the side of one of its calves and tears

a portion of the dragon’s flesh. It (snarls) roars and Trinket, bringing its claw down, roars back at

it. Dragon roar versus bear roar. All right. That ends your turn. It is now Rimefang’s turn.

Rimefang–

MARY: He has no more of these legendary saves, yes?

SAM: No, he has one.

MATT: Well, one more legendary resistance.

FELICIA: He used a wing-buffet and then two saves.

SAM: He’s got one more.

FELICIA: Oh, one more save. Ugh.

SAM: If he chooses to use it. He might save it for later in the fight.

MATT: Great. So the dragon is now going to (flapping) fly–

SAM: No, he won’t. I cast a spell on it as it retreats from me because I am a war caster.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: And I will cast Bigby’s Hand to grapple that shit and pull him back down.

(cheering)

MATT: That’s right, you took the war caster feat. Okay.

SAM: Don’t you fly away from me, motherfucker!

TRAVIS: So hot for you right now.

MATT: All right, so you use your action to do Bigby’s Clenched, no, Grasping Hand. No, it’s–

SAM: It’s the grapple one to pull its wings together so it can’t fly away?

MATT: Yes. All right, so. So you use the hand’s strength score, so go ahead and roll a d20 and

then add plus eight to it.

SAM: 18 plus eight. 26.

MATT: As the dragon brings its wings up, the hand grabs its wings together and forces it back down

to the ground. It shakes off the effect, but it’s unable to fly away.

SAM: You will leave when Burt Reynolds tells you to leave!

(laughter)

MATT: Okay. You also deal 2d6 plus five damage to it.

SAM: 2d6. That’s another 18.

MATT: 18 points of damage as the hand crushes on it, holding it in place, it does not get a chance

to move. All right. Angrily, in reaction to that, the dragon– well, first off let me see. Does not

get its breath weapon back yet, unfortunately. It is going to use multiattack, so it gets three

attacks: one bite and two claw attacks. It’s going to make all of them against you.

SAM: Of course it does. And thus ends Scanlan.

TRAVIS and MARY: No!

MATT: We’ll make each attack as it goes. So the first attack against you is going to be the bite

attack. That is a 23 to hit?

SAM: That hits.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Are you unconscious?

SAM: I will be very soon.

MATT: That’s going to be 18 points of piercing damage.

LAURA: Oh no, Scanlan’s unconscious!

MATT: Are you unconscious? Okay. It would be an additional d8 points of cold damage. Scanlan falls

unconscious on the ground. It’s going to take a claw attack down. It’s already all-in. Its second

claw attack hits. You immediately fail a death saving throw from the second strike. The second

claw attack hits you, as well, as it’s focused on you. You’ve failed two death saving throws.

LAURA: Oh my god!

SAM: It’s a dragon.

MATT: That’s the end of his turn. Grog, you’re up.

TRAVIS: I race over to Scanlan and I pour a level-3 healing potion into Scanlan’s mouth.

MATT: Okay, so Grog, you use your action to pull out, grab Scanlan, and pour it into his mouth.

This is the superior one?

TRAVIS: Yes.

MATT: You heal 8d4 plus eight hit points.

SAM: Do I roll? Does he roll?

MATT: I’ll let you roll for it; it’s fine.

SAM: 8d4? Can I roll 4d8s?

MATT: (laughs) 8d4.

SAM: 8d4.

MATT: You have a better chance, actually.

TRAVIS: This is my friend of the lady favors. I need him!

MATT: As you see the dragon bites down on him, he falls unconscious on the ground, the ice around

his wounds, and his eyes just roll back into his head, unconscious. One claw slams down into his

body, the gnome shakes from the impact. The second claw comes down into his torso and pulls back, you

can see bits of flesh and muscle pull back from its claw as it pulls away, and Scanlan’s on

death’s door. You rush over and grab and lift him up, take the healing potion, pop off the cork with

your teeth, and you rage-feed him the potion. “Drink it!”

SAM: I’m at 19 now.

MATT: So you’re at 19 hit points and you’re conscious now, the wounds seal up. You’ve still

failed two death saving throws. They’re gone until the end of the battle.

TRAVIS: Can I do anything else after I’ve poured it into his– can I do anything else?

MATT: You have a bonus action.

TRAVIS: Can I throw him the fuck away from the dragon? Pick him up and chuck him towards Lyra?

MATT: I’ll say because you’re frenzied raged, normally you would get an additional attack. I

will say you can use that.

TRAVIS: And I won’t throw. I’ll slide him on the icy floor towards Lyra.

MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make an athletics check.

TRAVIS: Okay. Natural 20.

(cheering)

MATT: As he wakes up, Grog goes (grunts, whoosh) and slip-n-slides you across the icy floor. You

come to a stop about 15 feet away– actually, be about there. You’re still prone; you’re on the

ground.

LAURA: But you can take a potion on your turn, at least?

TRAVIS: And I just turn around and give it the eyebrow of you’re-fucking-dead.

MATT: (laughs) All right. That ends Grog’s turn. Zahra, you’re up.

MARY: Witch Bolt. Fucking Witch Bolt.

MATT: By the way, your Bigby’s Hand has faded, because when you fell unconscious you lost

concentration. Witch Bolt?

MARY: If you’re still within range. I push even harder for Scanlan’s sake.

MATT: All right. Go ahead and roll 5d12, I believe it is?

MARY: The fire turns from white to yellow. I’m raging. What is it?

MATT: Whatever the spell is. Is it 5d10 or 5d12?

MARY: It is 5d12.

MATT: There you go. 5d12 plus 1d6.

MARY: Eight. Give me some math here, guys.

TRAVIS: Okay. 14. 29. 45.

MARY: 45 plus two.

LAURA: 47.

MARY: Plus 11 attack.

LAURA: No, 47, and 1d6.

MARY: 1d6. Six.

MATT: All right, so what’s the total damage on that, then?

LAURA: 53.

MARY: 51.

MATT: 51 points of damage.

TRAVIS: Did I best you on math? It’s a dark day when Grog beats Vex on math.

MARY: She’s very upset about the whole Scanlan thing.

LAURA: I’m still very scared!

MATT: That is nasty. All right, so. As you blast again, the fury of seeing Scanlan torn down to the

ground and nearly devoured by this dragon, you blast again. This time the greenish-blue energy

flaring up into a vibrant, angry yellow, and now you can see what once was almost like a bolt of

arcane moon energy becomes an actual burning fire in its visual. Do you wish to move, or are you

going to stay where you are?

MARY: I’m still how many feet away from him?

MATT: You are currently 20 feet away from him.

MARY: I will stay where I am.

MATT: All right.

MARY: Can I give– no I can’t, I’d have to go and give it to him, wouldn’t I?

MATT: At the end of your turn, because it’s regained its legendary actions, it’s going to use

a wing attack against Grog and every creature around it, including Trinket and the one giant. So

as it takes the hit from the Witch Bolt, (heavy breathing) the arcane hand no longer grasping its

wings, its wings flare out, (whoosh) and swings around with its wings, hitting everything around

you. Dexterity saving throw for Grog, for the giant, and for Trinket. Giant does not make it.

TRAVIS: 18.

MATT: 18, it’s a DC 19. Make it for Trinket.

LAURA: Ten.

MATT: All right, so Trinket and Grog both take 13 points of bludgeoning damage and are both knocked

prone.

TRAVIS: Halved, because I’m raging.

LAURA: Halved, because he’s got Stoneskin.

MATT: Yeah. Trinket takes half damage, as well. So you both take seven points of bludgeoning damage,

but you’re still knocked prone. You both fall onto your back. The giant also is knocked prone there.

All right. That ends Zahra’s turn. That brings us to Scanlan. You’re conscious. You’re on the

ground.

SAM: I will stand.

MATT: All right. So you still have half your movement. You can still move roughly ten feet. Any

direction.

SAM: Taking a potion is an action or a bonus?

MATT: I consider it a bonus action to keep things moving. Action to administer it to somebody else.

TRAVIS: Do that thing.

SAM: I will Dimension Door way over there.

MATT: (laughs) Okay. Scanlan stands up, waves his hand, and this blackened archway just (whoosh)

appears next to him with this crackling sound of energy. He leaps through it and vanishes out of

sight. You are now in darkness, you cannot see anything except for a little bit of light bouncing

off of the top of the cavern, glittering across all the ice crystals, but you are in complete

shadow. (breathing heavily)

SAM: And I’ll take one of those four healing potions that someone gave us. Were they moderate?

MATT: They were superior. I think Grog used one.

FELICIA: Yeah, we handed them out.

SAM: Okay, I definitely have one, so I’ll take it.

MATT: 8d4 plus eight.

LAURA: Who all took them?

MARY: I didn’t, because I have two.

FELICIA: I don’t think she and I took them.

LAURA: Oh, the four of us, because we’re assholes?

MATT: I think you each took one.

FELICIA: I sacrificed myself.

MATT: So we’ll consider that. It’s fine. All right, so that ends Scanlan’s turn. The giant is

going to get up.

TRAVIS: Get up, Gary, you piece of shit!

MATT: That would be a 21. That hits. And that’ll be a 17. That misses. But it does manage to hit

with an attack, finally. This whole time. That’s 24 points of slashing damage to the dragon. As its

first strike whiffs, and as it brings it back with a backhand, it brings its shield up to protect

itself. The axe (smack) lands a good seven to eight inches into the dragon’s hide. (roars) The

head turns around. “You traitor! I will eat every one of you!” That ends the giant’s turn. It’s

going to stay right there, trying to finish him off. That ends the giant’s turn. Lyra, you’re up.

FELICIA: I still can’t Fireball, right?

MATT: You could? Depending on where you want to place it, you may hit other things.

LAURA: You can place it– hit the giant and the dragon.

FELICIA: Then the giant will wake up. If we hit the giants– does he look almost dead?

MATT: You can tell he’s taken a few hits from the dragon, but the other one is the one that was

completely wrecked.

LAURA: Is the other giant dead?

MATT: It is frozen in place and dead. It was partially disintegrated by Lyra earlier, and the

frost breath finished it off.

FELICIA: I could maybe hit Trinket or Grog?

SAM: Trinket’s protected.

FELICIA: I don’t think he’s protected from fire damage. It’s a lot of damage. I don’t want to kill

Trinket.

TRAVIS: Is it fire, and it’s a frost dragon?

FELICIA: It’s a very big spell. It’s 8d6. Can’t really use it. I’ll try to Hold Monster again.

LAURA: How much radius does the dragon take up?

MATT: The dragon itself is 15 feet across on each side, so if you were to hit the dragon, it would

still hit everything directly around it.

FELICIA: Yeah, let me try to Hold Monster again. At least force him to use his thing.

MATT: All right. Actually, he fails his saving throw, but uses his third and final legendary

resistance to resist the Hold Monster spell.

TALIESIN: Good, you drained it. That’s over with.

MATT: He’s out of legendary resistance. He turns around and looks at you now. It was currently

glaring at the giant, growling at everyone around it, and as soon as that spell hits it with the

cage once again, (heavy impacts) it breaks it with its wings and turns around, (whoosh) and opens its

mouth right towards you.

FELICIA: I’m going to move away as far as I can.

MATT: Okay. So you are here.

FELICIA: Yes. That’s very far. Yes. Thank you.

MATT: Okay. All right, that ends your turn. Back up to Percy.

TALIESIN: All right, I’m going to take one last really good shot. I’m going to shoot him right in

the face again. I’m going to spend my grit point and hit him in the face. Let’s make this work.

Yay! That hits. That’s 31 to hit.

MATT: 31 will hit, yeah. Go ahead and roll damage.

TALIESIN: I’m going to roll damage. That’s 15 points of damage, but he’s got disadvantage on all

attacks until my turn.

MATT: He did take ten points of bleeding damage from your– Laura. It did take ten points of

bleeding damage from your bow, and it does save against the bleed effect, so that’s gone,

unfortunately. But you did ten additional damage to him.

TALIESIN: I’m going to move in this direction. Hug the wall.

MATT: Right there?

TALIESIN: Yeah, I think right there.

MATT: Okay. So as you take your shot, (gunshot) it ricochets off the armor. The dragon’s starting to

look a little rough. You can see bits of the blood beginning to seep from the inside of its scales.

It’s starting to look a little harsher and harsher. It’s still standing up pretty well, but

you can see, it’s starting to get a little more battle-worn. That ends Percy’s turn.

Vex, you’re up.

LAURA: Me?

MATT: Yes.

LAURA: Okay, I’m going to move Trinket away.

MATT: Trinket stands up, and Trinket’s going to move back this way.

LAURA: Yeah, and then hide behind that outcropping thing. Yeah.

MATT: Okay. As he moves away, the dragon uses his reaction. It’s going to be a bite attack on him,

actually.

TALIESIN: With disadvantage.

MATT: With disadvantage?

TALIESIN: With disadvantage.

MATT: Oh, because of the head shot. Yeah. Well, it rolled a two and a 15.

(cheering)

MATT: So thank god you put that on there. So as it (whoosh) lashes out, Trinket’s armor actually

takes the impact, and some of the teeth crack a little bit against the armor, and the jaw pulls

back as Trinket just (bear moan) runs off behind the ice wall. What are you doing?

LAURA: I’m going to cast Hail of Thorns.

MATT: Did you make a wisdom save last turn to try to resist the fear effect?

LAURA: I did, and I failed it.

MATT: That’s right. Okay.

LAURA: Yeah. So I’m going to cast Hail of Thorns on the dragon.

MATT: Okay. Go ahead and roll for attack.

LAURA: 26.

MATT: 26 hits, yes. Hail of Thorns. What’s the radius on that?

LAURA: That’s a good question. Hail of Thorns.

MATT: (laughs) How’s that go?

LAURA: Okay, wait. Next time you hit a creature with a ranged weapon– spell– range. It just hits

it, but then everything within five feet makes a dexterity saving throw. Sorry, guys.

MATT: So Grog, make a dexterity saving throw. Because you’re prone, I’d say with disadvantage.

LAURA: Oh. Sorry, Grog.

TRAVIS: Nine?

MATT: Actually, you’re fine. Just straight roll.

TRAVIS: Oh, great. 18.

MATT: 18? All right. You take half of the 1d10 piercing damage. So roll for the actual arrow

damage, and then 1d10. The giant does not make it, and the dragon does not make it. They both fail.

LAURA: 13 for the actual arrow, plus another five for Hunter’s Mark.

MATT: All right. What’s the 1d10 for the Hail of Thorns?

LAURA: 3d10 because I’m casting it at 3rd level. 18 for the Hail of Thorns.

MATT: 18. So that’s nine points of damage to you, Grog. Nine points to the giant, and nine points to

the dragon. All right.

LAURA: Oh. And then I get another attack.

MATT: You do. You have two attacks.

LAURA: (giggles) This is crazy! Okay, so I’m going to– should I do Conjure Barrage? Conjure Barrage

at them, as well.

MATT: All right. Conjure Barrage is an action to cast, right?

LAURA: Oh, you’re right. So a regular. I can only do a regular attack. Okay, so regular attack. Oh,

that doesn’t hit. That’s a 16.

MATT: That unfortunately does not hit. Well, it hits, but the arrow shatters across the dragon’s

armor. All right, that ends your turn. As the giant takes a blasting impact of thorns across its

torso, it looks to the dragon, Rimefang. Looks at the rest of you, which some of you have fallen,

some of you are on the ground. It decides that perhaps it chose its alliances poorly. And you can

see, it takes its axe and shield ready, and almost in a phalanx format is now alongside the dragon.

All right, that brings us to Rimefang’s turn. Rimefang is going to (flapping) fly up in the

air.

TRAVIS: Oh, he’s reaching for shit. He duplicates himself into another dragon. Now you’re all dead.

MATT: Now he’s going to–

TRAVIS: Oh no, the ale’s gone!

MATT: This way, up at the top, and is currently up in the air (flapping). Let’s see. He gets his cold

breath back. Oh, did you roll to try and shake the frightened effect, by the way?

LAURA: I didn’t.

MATT: Go ahead and do that now.

MARY: Come on, darling. Come on!

LAURA and TRAVIS: Natural 20!

MATT: That will do it. As you shake the frightened effect, you’re like, “Ah! All right.” You’re

steeled. “No, I know these guys. I’m trying to kill these guys.” As you see it fly overhead.

Rears back its head and then (whoosh) arc across the ground with its breath weapon, hitting Percy,

Vex, and Lyra. You guys all need to make constitution saving throws.

TALIESIN: Oh, so there’s no disadvantage roll for him to make here, is there?

MATT: No.

FELICIA: 23.

MATT: 23 on the constitution saving throw?

FELICIA: Yeah, I actually. I get five constitution, and I rolled an 18.

TALIESIN: 15.

MATT: 15? What did you roll, Vex?

LAURA: 18.

MATT: 18. All right. (chuckles) So as the ice breath (whoosh) passes across, it’s like every

center point of the worst ice storm or blizzard impacting you with a series of punches every

single second as this breath caresses and beats your body left and right. Both of you guys take 54

points of cold damage.

TALIESIN: 54?

MATT: 54. Lyra, you take 27 points of cold damage.

TRAVIS: And the room gets quiet.

MARY: Really fast.

MATT: It continues its flight pattern (flapping, impacts) and lands on top of this upper platform.

LAURA: Oh, he’s got another fucking platform?

SAM: How high up?

MATT: That’s ten feet up. There are two platforms on opposite sides of this room now. That ends its

turn. It is now Grog’s turn.

TRAVIS: That giant is definitely against us?

MATT: It looks to be questioning its loyalty at the moment, yeah.

TRAVIS: You questioned at the wrong time. I charge Gary and hack away.

MATT: All right. You get up, and you have enough movement, definitely, to move up into battle with

him. Go ahead and attack.

TRAVIS: (laughs) What do I do, again? What is this shit? This thing plus five. 16. No, attack bonus.

MATT: You have to hit first. You have to roll to hit.

TRAVIS: I know. Jesus! It’s like I’ve never done this before. 24.

LAURA: No, that was higher than 24.

TRAVIS: 16 plus nine? Oh, it’s 25.

MATT: Hits. Roll a second attack.

TRAVIS: 28.

MATT: Hits.

TRAVIS: And 20.

MATT: 20 hits. Roll damage against the giant.

TRAVIS: (quietly) What is this, 1d10 plus five? Oh, that’s ten. 18. 18?

LAURA: Plus six fire damage.

TRAVIS: Oh.

LAURA: Six!

TRAVIS: 24 on the first one.

MATT: Nice.

TRAVIS: Sorry, new math. 13 plus– 17 on the second one.

MATT: All right, and the third one?

TRAVIS: 12, plus– 15 on the third one.

MATT: As you rush forward, (whack, whack) the first two hits, one hits in the side, and you can

see it (grunts) reacts. The second one, it brings its shield up, and you splinter the buckler shield

on its arm, and as it shatters, you can see the bones in its arm (crunch) crack from the impact,

and it drops its arm to one side, with the flames itself beginning to set fire to the furs it has on

its arm. (grunts) He tries to shake off the fire that’s on its arm. As you see it bring its arm up,

it reveals the underside of its torso. You use that to reach down, leap in the air with an

overhead swipe, slam this warhammer with all your strength into the side of its ribcage. As you do,

(crack) you can see its torso cave in, and you’re probably sure that the splintered bones seem to

have impacted something serious as the giant all of a sudden, (death rattle).

(cheering)

MARY: Dead? Dead!

MATT: From the damage left over from the battle you had earlier, the damage it already took from

the dragon, and that was just enough to finish it off by two hit points. That ends your turn, Grog.

Zahra, you’re up.

MARY: How far away from the dragon am I?

MATT: You are 30 feet away.

MARY: That’s exactly right, which means Witch Bolt is still in effect, and I’m going to fucking

unleash on this white wyrm of death.

MATT: All right! (boof) A third time, now, you release Witch Bolt. It slams into it. The dragon

actually tries to shift out of the way–

MARY: He can’t.

MATT: He can’t, because you’re locked in.

MARY: You can’t get away from me.

MATT: Go ahead and roll damage.

LAURA: Creepy Zahra!

MARY: Creepy Zahra. Well, I am a demon. All right. 11.

TRAVIS: 27. 39. 48. 1d6. 53.

MARY: 53.

FELICIA: Damn!

TRAVIS: You bad bitch!

MATT: All right, so. It tries to dodge out of the way. This time, as you focus again, the yellowish

energy has now transitioned to a deep, hot, searing red flame from your eyes.

MARY: Oh, you can’t run!

MATT: (boof) You focus again. The beam now, transitioning into a similar red-hot color,

streaks across and slams into the side of the dragon. You can see the impact. The scales are

left with this glowing red heat from the blast, and part of its armor is torn open. You can see

the burn-charred muscle beneath. The dragon’s looking pretty rough. Do you wish to move, or are

you staying right there?

MARY: I’m going to approach it by five feet.

MATT: There you go. That brings us to Scanlan’s turn. You are way over here.

SAM: I will first use my bonus action on myself. Can I cast Healing Word on myself?

MATT: Yeah. Sure.

SAM: Okay, d4 plus five. That’s nothing. Actually, wait. Can I just take a potion as a bonus action?

MATT: If you want to, yeah.

SAM: Okay, I’ll just do that. I’ll take a greater heal. 4d4 plus four.

MATT: All righty.

SAM: Anyway, I’ll roll it later. Sorry. (counts quietly) Plus four is 11. Okay, I’m pretty much

back up to–

MATT: There you go. Are you going to stay where you are?

SAM: I’m how far?

MATT: You are over here.

SAM: But how far?

MATT: Oh. It’s 90 feet away from you.

SAM: (whispering) Sniper shot. (louder) From the shadows, I cast Lightning Bolt, which has a

hundred-foot range.

MATT: It does, and because it’s high enough–

SAM: If the angle is nice and clean.

MATT: Yes, that’s true. So out of the darkness, release a bolt of energy. It’s going to attempt to

make a saving throw. What’s the DC on it?

SAM: It’s my spell? What is it?

MATT: Yeah, it’s whatever your spell DC is.

SAM: 17?

MATT: 17, okay. It does make its saving throw, so it is half damage. Go ahead and roll. Rolled a 16

plus five.

SAM: It was 8d6, but now it’s 4d6, right?

MATT: No, it’s 8d6 still. You roll the total, and it’s halved.

SAM: All right, what is that? (counts quietly) 26. 13.

MATT: All right.

TRAVIS: Yes, dude. Way not to be dead.

FELICIA: Way to not die.

TRAVIS: I need my whoring partner.

MATT: All right, at the end of your turn, it’s going to use one of its legendary actions to make

a tail attack and reach over the side here at Percy, who’s trying to stay hidden there. Brings

around his tail. (whoosh) Comes swinging down over the side. Another natural 20.

(groaning)

FELICIA: He looks disappointed.

LAURA: He doesn’t want us to die.

FELICIA: It’s going to happen.

MARY: No! Would you stop it, Lyra? Come on!

FELICIA: I’m sorry. I have self-esteem issues.

MARY: Not today, you don’t.

MATT: 32 points of bludgeoning damage to you, Percy. (whack) From over the top.

TALIESIN: I’m out.

MATT: Percy is down as the tail (whack) slams him down. You can see now, as the tail pulls back, the

ice on the ground is slightly concave. There’s pieces of ice that have shattered and jutted up

from the impact. As the tail pulls away, dropping chunks of stone and ice, you can see a

currently unconscious Percy is now face-down and pushed probably a good half-foot into the ground

itself. Your face is a mess, if they ever pull you up from that right now.

TALIESIN: I like my face.

MATT: That ends Scanlan’s turn. The giant is dead. There are no giants; they’re gone. Lyra, you’re

up.

FELICIA: Okay, I can Fireball him now.

(cheering)

FELICIA: Fireball. Ooh, that looks pretty good! Six and six and six.

LAURA: Come on, Lyra. Killing blow.

TRAVIS: Nuke him. Nuke the bastard.

FELICIA: So that’s 18, 28, 38, 52. 52 points of damage.

MATT: 52 points? And what’s the DC on your spell?

FELICIA: It’s no DC. It just hits.

MATT: Right, but it has a save.

FELICIA: 17.

MATT: 17. Okay, it rolled a 15 plus five, so it is half damage, but that’s still 26 points of damage

to it.

FELICIA: It’s not bad.

MATT: (explosion noise) As you reach out, this arcing bead of red streaks through the darkness,

impacts right at the side of the dragon’s wing, and then (boof) bursts into a giant ball of flame.

The whole cavern rocks from the sound of the impact. As the dragon pulls back, you can see this

giant char mark on the outside of its wing. It’s looking pretty rough. It’s still standing, but

it’s looking pretty rough. Unfortunately, the radius of the blast, as it is a 20-foot radius, is

large enough. Percy, his body is hit in the impact and blasted onto its back now. He rolls partly out

of the impact–

TALIESIN: Do I actually roll?

MATT: You actually (boof) over there. You’re still technically in the same spot, but you’re on your

back now. You do automatically fail a death saving throw from that.

FELICIA: Oh my god, I’m so sorry.

MATT: All right, that ends Lyra’s turn. That brings us to the top. Percy. Make a saving throw.

Just roll a ten or higher.

TALIESIN: I did not roll a ten or higher.

MATT: You fail a second death saving throw.

SAM: Oh god!

MATT: Vex, you’re up.

LAURA: (screams) Okay, here’s the thing. Did he roll far enough away that he is not within ten

feet of the dragon?

MATT: The dragon is ten feet up.

LAURA: So he’s far enough away.

MATT: In theory, he’d be just out of the way of a ten-foot radius. A 20-foot radius, no.

LAURA: Okay, then I’m going to Lightning Arrow the dragon.

MATT: Okay.

FELICIA: Do you have a potion?

TRAVIS: I do.

TALIESIN: Grog’s got it.

LAURA: Do I have to attack? I do have to attack regular.

MATT: You do have to roll the attack, yes.

LAURA: That’s good. That’s a 29.

MATT: 29 hits.

LAURA: Okay, so that is 4d8 against the dragon.

MATT: Yeah, 4d8 lightning damage. What’s the DC on it?

LAURA: 14.

MATT: 14? It does not make the save. Rolled a three.

SAM: Come on, Vex. Come on. Do it for Trinket.

TRAVIS: Do it for Percy. Do it for Pike.

TALIESIN: Let’s not have another Pike, please.

LAURA: 17.

MATT: Plus your Hunter’s Mark.

LAURA: That’s good. That’s another six for Hunter’s Mark. Plus another 11.

MATT: Plus another 11. Okay. As the arrow releases, once again, (arrow flying) it turns into

a bolt of pure arcane energy, smacking into the side of it. You can see the explosion hit and the

energy crackle through the rest of its body. Its muscles shudder and it has to grasp the side of

the top of this platform to keep itself steady. You can see now, the dragon’s (heavy breathing).

One eye is partially closed, and with each breath you can see this frost mist emanating from its

breath. It looks like it’s on its last legs.

LAURA: For my second attack–

(cheering)

LAURA: For my second attack, I’m going to regular attack him. Oh my god. Just going to regular

attack him.

MATT: Roll for attack.

LAURA: Jesus. Please. Oh! It’s 30.

MATT: 30 hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

LAURA: 13, 14, 15.

MATT: Including the Hunter’s Mark?

LAURA: No! Four.

MATT: Okay, so 19 total? Okay. As the arrow (arrow flying, impacts) embeds itself in the side of the

neck, the dragon reaches up and it’s scratching at the pain. As it pulls the arrow out, blood begins

to pour down its side.

LAURA: Ugh, he’s still alive!

MATT: It’s rough. That ends your turn.

LAURA: Fuck! Is it his turn?

MATT: It is now Rimefang’s turn. Rimefang turns. (heavy breaths, roars) and lets out a spray of icy

damage out in this direction at an arc this way. I need to get a dexterity saving throw from Lyra,

from Vex, and from Zahra.

MARY: Do I have a reaction?

MATT: After this, you will.

MARY: Okay, got it.

FELICIA: Eight.

MATT: Eight?

LAURA: 28.

MATT: 28. Okay. Zahra?

MARY: 11.

MATT: 11. Okay, so that is 54 points of damage to you.

FELICIA: I’m down.

MATT: Lyra is currently (crackles) frozen in place right now from the blast. She’s unconscious,

and there is a coat of ice around her body holding her in place. How are you doing on hit points?

LAURA: I’m at 28 hit points.

MATT: Okay, you kick the frost off, and you’re on one knee. And you take 54 points of ice damage.

LAURA: Are you unconscious, too?

MARY: Nope. I’m not. Do I have a reaction?

MATT: You have a reaction?

MARY: I do, I use Hellish Rebuke.

SAM: Oh! What is that? It sounds hellish.

MARY: I know. I get one per day.

MATT: All right, so the creature must make a dexterity saving throw.

LAURA: So it does it back to him?

MARY: Yes.

MATT: That is 15. What’s the DC?

MARY: I don’t know.

LAURA: 17.

MARY: 17.

MATT: Okay, so it takes 2d10 fire damage. Go ahead and roll that.

LAURA: Yes! Oh my god, you can kill it just because it attacked you?!

TALIESIN: Kill it out of spite.

FELICIA: Tell him he’s very ugly.

MARY: Nine.

MATT: Nine points of fire damage?

How do you want to do this?

(cheering)

MARY: I don’t know what that means!

MATT: How do you finish this dragon with your Hellish Rebuke?

TALIESIN: Make it good!

MATT: After it finishes blasting you with ice damage, you watch the wizard frozen in place. You

see Percy unconscious and bleeding on the ground. You see Vex on the ground, about to fall

unconscious. Your friends are lost in the darkness around you, and suddenly you feel that tiefling

surge of anger within you, and you?

MARY: Almost completely turn into flame as I walk towards it. Can I use anything?

MATT: How do you want the Hellish Rebuke to be?

MARY: I want this Hellish Rebuke to be me levitating in the air and using my dark dragon

staff to blast it from here down, just eviscerating everything from the bowels down with

hellish fire.

MATT: So after the frost takes on the front of you, and there is ice caked against the front of

your armor, you suddenly look up at it and as your eyes flare with flame, the ice (shatters)

evaporates from the sheer heat your body’s emanating. You take a step forward, but the step

itself is about an inch off the ground. A second step, you’re two inches off the ground. And with

each progressive step, you’re slowly floating in the air, the warlock energy now swirling around

you. The shadows are spinning around you and coalescing around your feet. As you look forward

towards it, you see the portion of its armor that was blasted open earlier, with its flesh and sinew

exposed. You take the staff forward, and with an angry snarl, the one last blast of infernal

energy, the Hellish Rebuke then (shooting sound) sinking into the side of its chest. As the inside

of its flesh begins to spark and smoke, the dragon (grunts) reaches out and grabs the side. It’s

beginning to try to bring its wings up to fly away, and as it does, (explosion noise) a blast of

infernal flame comes cascading out of its chest. You can see now, all of its armor begins to peel

back as its chest is blown open. Its eyes suddenly go from this piercing blue-white to a

dull gray color, and it reaches out, and (heavy breathing) “No.” It tumbles forward onto the

ground next to Percy, almost crushing his unconscious form. It gets up, (impacts) takes two

more steps forward. “No. You can’t.”

MARY: Yes, I fucking can!

(cheering)

MATT: And with that, Rimefang falls dead to the ground.

(cheering)

SAM: I run over to Lyra, cast Seeming on myself to give myself the appearance of Aldor, and I pour a

potion into her mouth, and I wake her up.

FELICIA: What happened?

SAM: You did good, baby.

FELICIA: (gasps) And I’m just in him.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: I run over to Percy and pour a healing potion in his mouth, and I don’t “in him.”

(laughter)

MATT: You can just barely get there with your movement. Thank god you’re a barbarian.

TALIESIN: Oh! What happened? Oh, look. It’s dead!

MARY: Hello, Percy.

LAURA: Oh my god. I stand up and I give Zahra a giant hug.

TALIESIN: Can we cut that bastard up for scrap now? Ugh.

LAURA: You were amazing.

MARY: Forever besties?

FELICIA: Wait, then I notice. Aldor, why are you so short?

SAM: Baby. I can’t change height, so I release Seeming and I’m back to normal.

FELICIA: That was not as good a kiss as usual. I was worried, but it was special.

TRAVIS: Oh!

(laughter)

MARY: Is it time to take what we need from this thing?

LAURA: Gather up all of the shit we have to take and put it in the bag of stuff.

TALIESIN: That would be: two white dragon eyes, one white dragon tongue, one white dragon heart,

six white dragon claws, and 20 white dragon teeth.

MATT: Who’s harvesting this?

MARY: You have the bag.

FELICIA: It’s nature. Who has good animal handling?

LAURA: Wait, we have to harvest it special?

MATT: Part of harvesting the organs from the creature is a delicate process.

LAURA: Is it nature? What is it a check for?

MATT: It’s a nature-based check, yes.

LAURA: I have a low nature. What do you have?

TALIESIN: Very low nature.

MARY: I have a six nature. Can I harvest him?

MATT: You can.

TRAVIS: Can I go and loot the giant that’s not frozen?

MATT: You can. You can also help with this roll.

SAM: Inspiration? Okay. I inspire them.

MATT: How do you inspire Zahra as she goes to start carving into this dragon?

SAM: I will sing something. I don’t know what. I’m so out of it. We just killed a dragon!

(laughter)

SAM: I go over to her and I’m like, (incoherent, impressed stammering). And that’s all I got.

MATT: And with that, you killed a dragon.

MARY: It was a group effort.

LAURA: Can I help at all? Can I assist? Can I hold her utensils for her?

MATT: Between the two of you working together, that would give you advantage on the checks. Which

one are you going for first? Are you going for the eyes? Choose which portion you’re harvesting

first.

LAURA: Everything. We need all of it, don’t we?

MATT: Yeah, but which part are you harvesting first? You choose with each roll. You have eyes,

heart–

FELICIA: Can I assist? Can I help?

MATT: We already have an assist over there.

FELICIA: I want to be helpful.

LAURA: We’ll all stand and watch.

TALIESIN: Start with the eyes.

LAURA: Pop them out. Pop those bitches out. But you get an advantage.

MATT: You will get advantage on it because she’s assisting you.

MARY: That’s nine plus–

LAURA: Yeah, that’s 15 plus six is 21.

MATT: 21. Okay. As you come over, using a dagger that you have. Pop very delicately each dragon eye

out and place it into the satchel.

LAURA: Into the cooler bag.

MATT: As you pull each eye out, it’s like holding the coldest orb you’ve ever held. It actually

burns your fingers as you clutch it. (gasp) Throw it inside and have to shake your hand off.

LAURA: I jiggle them around in the bag. Just because.

FELICIA: We have a special crate?

LAURA: Yeah, I’m holding it.

TALIESIN: The tongue would be next.

MATT: All right, go ahead and roll for that.

LAURA: Plus another roll for advantage. Ooh, that’s way better. Plus six. 23.

MATT: 23, all right. So you manage to, with the help of Vex pulling the jaw open, Grog holding

onto the side, Lyra’s supervising. You manage to get to the base of the tongue, carve off– And you

(slurp-pop) pull out the rather massive, very heavy tongue– which, once again, this in itself,

is like (yelps). Put it in real fast. And in the process of doing so, you suffer two points of cold

damage, but the tongue has been harvested.

TALIESIN: A heart.

MATT: This one’s going to be difficult. Part of the chest is blown open, exposing the interior,

but there has been damage done to the inside, so go ahead and attempt this.

TRAVIS: Two rolls.

MARY: 12. 14. Plus six is 20.

MATT: Oh, 20! 20 is just what you needed. You pry in and crack open a portion of its body, and you

begin to slowly carve out the portion, the heart, and the dragon heart itself is massive. It’s huge,

and it takes three of you to pull it out.

LAURA: How do we fit it in this bag? Is it magic?

MATT: You don’t know, but it’s not going to fit in that satchel.

MARY: How heavy is it?

MATT: I’d say it probably weighs a good 200 pounds.

FELICIA: I should know what people would do in the guild situation if they had an organ that wouldn’t

fit in the bag, right? We have to preserve it.

MATT: Travel back quickly or have preservation magic. Whether it would be a necromancy-based

magic.

FELICIA: Nope.

TRAVIS: We’re not shoving it in there? Are we cutting it in half?

LAURA: We could roll it up in one of our fancy robes, though, and hold on to it. And pack it in–

oh, we, yeah! Let’s chisel out some of the ice.

MATT: As you begin to wrap it up, you notice that the cold air begins to (cracking) crack around it,

and the heart itself is freezing, as per the nature of a freshly dead white dragon. So it might

be a good thing.

LAURA: What about all this gold in the cavern?

TALIESIN: Claws and teeth.

MARY: Teeth. Yes, roll to carve. Seven. 13.

MATT: 13. Going through the jaw, you begin plucking teeth out, piece by piece (cling, cling)

and most of them, you notice, as part of the nature of the body, are beginning to decay faster

than you expected. A lot of the teeth are becoming brittle and breaking, and as you start pulling

them out, you’re frustrated because with each one it seems to almost shatter as soon as you claw it

from the jaw. By the end of it, you manage to gather about three dragon’s teeth before the rest

of them begin to break.

TRAVIS: We have a shitload of dragon teeth left over.

LAURA: But we need white dragon.

TRAVIS: He was a white dragon!

LAURA: Or wait, are you sure it wasn’t the blue dragon that we harvested?

TRAVIS: No, it was a white dragon, we have 37 left over.

LAURA: Okay. We have 37 dragon teeth from the first white dragon.

MARY: Can I also get– if there’s any powder left or anything, for myself, I would like to–

TALIESIN: Claws, still. We have to get claws still.

MARY: I know, but if it’s on the ground, and it’s in front of me, I would just like to put it in my

little bag, to have it for my own spellcasting.

MATT: Okay, go ahead and make a nature roll for that. Roll two more nature checks, or one more

check, with advantage.

LAURA: Another one.

MARY: That sucks, too. 13.

MATT: Okay. You managed to pull out some of the more sensitive parts of the dragon, but as you

begin to cut away at some of the scales– you’re going for the scales or the claws?

MARY: I was going for the powdered– the remains of whatever teeth that we couldn’t get.

MATT: Oh, that! Never mind then, sorry. So then, that you can gather without a problem. It’s

powdered dragon ice bone, so yeah, that’s fine. All right.

TALIESIN: We still need claws.

LAURA: Let’s go for claws.

TRAVIS: One more.

MARY: Nine. 15.

MATT: 15? In beginning to pull out the portions of its hands and getting the base of where the claw

itself begins to grow, you manage to pull out five functional dragon claws without them breaking.

MARY: How many did we need, Percy?

TALIESIN: Six. Do we have an extra? We have one?

MATT: You guys, prepared with your bag.

MARY: Hello! Prepared people!

TRAVIS: Oh, I looted the giant.

MATT: All right, you looted the giant.

MARY: Now can we get some scales?

LAURA: Just her? All of us?

MATT: All of you working together to get scales.

FELICIA: All of us? Free for all?

MATT: Well, this is the roll they’re making for it.

LAURA: 20 for scales.

MATT: 20 for scales, okay. So all of you working together, you manage to pull off what amounts to

about 25 pounds of dragon scales. Mind you, the scales are heavy and they’re about that big each.

It would be enough if you were to bring it to a master craftsman, to possibly construct a set of

armor from them.

LAURA: That’s why we have so many pounds of dragon scales from the previous dragons! We could make

three sets of armor right now.

FELICIA: I’m going to look around and just see if there’s a stash or a hoard that he was gathering.

MATT: All right, there are individual gold pieces embedded all through. It would take you weeks to

chisel it all from the walls.

MARY: Are there any giant gems that we can see?

MATT: Everyone make a perception check.

LAURA: I want to get my diamond back, too, from earlier.

TRAVIS: Can I loot the bloody giant?

LAURA: Natural 20 for perception! Ooh! Sparklies!

MATT: All right. So Grog. You go over to the giant that’s not frozen. Looking at it, most of its

armor itself is made for a giant’s form, much larger than anything else, and a lot of it has

been shredded by the dragon, or frozen and broken from the impact and you, cutting it apart with its

axe. For the most part, all you’re able to find off of its body are approximately 120 gold pieces,

which isn’t bad. Giants don’t really carry a lot of money on them, usually what they carry on

them is just trophies from battles they fought previously. At least, these ones here. What did

you roll for perception?

TALIESIN: 16.

FELICIA: 18.

SAM: 11.

MARY: 13.

LAURA: Natural 20.

MATT: So as you guys are looking around, the cavern seems to be fairly barren. You, however,

Vex, as you walk to the back of the cavern, you see there are other pieces of partially eaten

frozen bodies. And you, using a little bit of torchlight you can pull out, and glancing

underneath, you see a little bit of shining, more of a cluster of shining about seven or eight

inches beneath the ice surface. And you look down and you can see, there appears to be quite a hoard

of something frozen beneath the surface of this cavern.

FELICIA: Oh I can help! (blasting sounds) I throw a Fire Bolt.

MATT: (laughs) You start carving, you’re like, (yelps). Dodge out of the way just in time as

firebolts begin blasting the ice.

FELICIA: 14. 14 points of damage.

MATT: (boom boom) A large chunk of the ice is blasted out from the Fire Bolt, and you catch your

breath for a second. It’s not enough to get all the way down, but it does manage to blast away a

large portion of the ice.

LAURA: I still have like two points of health, FYI.

FELICIA: Oh! I’m sorry! You do look so lovely, though.

MATT: And so between the two of you guys, you take a dagger, you take your staff and you begin

jamming into the ice. You manage to break it apart, and you do find beneath there, frozen,

quite a hoard. You find over the next hour or so, 4,244 gold pieces–

TRAVIS and TALIESIN: Whoa!

LAURA: How much?

MATT: 4,244 gold pieces. A cluster of gems worth around 850 gold. A singular diamond. It’s about

that large. It’s actually a little bit smaller than the other one you have, but it’s worth

anywhere in the neighborhood of 1,200 gold pieces. You also manage to find a pair of leather

gloves with almost gold trim around each one of the joints. You find what looks like a small

leather cap that you pull over the head, that a peasant would wear, and what looks to be one glass

vial containing an indeterminate liquid.

LAURA: What is the color of the liquid?

MATT: From what you can look at the color, it’s like a purplish-blue.

MARY: Can anybody do a perception check on magical liquid?

TRAVIS: I would like to perception check the leather hat.

MATT: Make a perception check.

LAURA: Can anybody do an arcana check on the leather hat?

MATT: Oh. Do you have Detect Magic?

TRAVIS: 16!

MATT: Or Identify spell?

FELICIA: No. I thought about them.

MATT: Okay. Make an arcana check. Well, you guys have a brief rest here; it should be fine,

actually. Okay. Looking at it, this is a very fancy leather hat.

TRAVIS: It’s a fancy leather hat. It’s mine. Dibs!

TALIESIN: I’m curious about the gloves, myself.

MATT: You take some time with each one of these items that you pull out from the ice, and each one

emanates a magical aura from them. You take the gloves first and you look at them, and you

eventually come to realize, oh, you’ve heard about this, you read about this in your books. These are

Gloves of Missile Snaring. They’re gloves that when worn, you have an opportunity to possibly

snatch a missile out of the air. These gloves seem to almost meld into your hands when you don them. When

a ranged weapon attack hits you while you’re wearing them, you can use your reaction to reduce

the damage by a certain amount, provided you have a free hand. If you reduce the damage to zero, you

can catch the missile, midair, (whoosh) stop it from hitting you.

TALIESIN: That might be good for you, though.

LAURA: For anybody with ranged, probably.

MATT: Anybody who’s hit by ranged.

TALIESIN: I have a two-handed ranged weapon, though, which you do not.

MATT: Looking at the hat itself, while not a very impressive hat, the magical energy on it does give

you the idea that it is used as an illusion-based magic. It is a Hat of Disguise. While wearing this

hat you can use an action to cast the Disguise Self spell at will. It ends if the hat is

removed.

SAM: May I have that one, please?

TALIESIN: No, Scanlan.

TRAVIS: What? He can already disappear.

FELICIA: You’ll abuse it. You’ve already abused that privilege already.

SAM: I’m sorry. By the way, your lips taste like bubblegum.

MATT: The potion is a Potion of Climbing. You can actually climb your walking speed for one hour.

MARY: Like Spider Climb?

FELICIA: Spider Pig.

MARY: What’s it called?

MATT: Climbing or scaling cliffs, you can go at the speed– normally, you’re very slow when you

climb. You can just parkour up super fast. While this is happening, because you rolled a 20, you

look over at the corpses that are frozen on the ground. You see one of the corpses is wielding a

sword, and another one of the corpses appears to have a shattered bow in one hand. You go over and

see the sword itself is not affected by the ice. It actually seems to be resisting the ice. You

(cracking) break it out of the hand. The person who’s holding the bow, currently, the upper torso

is bitten off and shattered. Part of the body is ruined. The bow is broken and destroyed, but there

is a quiver on its back. Within the quiver, you see most of the arrows are frozen solid within the

quiver, but there is one that seems unaffected by the ice.

LAURA: Can I tell what it is?

MATT: You pull out the arrow. It appears to be a deep forest green, and the actual shaft of the

arrow has a texture to it, almost a rough metallic texture.

SAM, MARY, and TRAVIS: Take it!

LAURA: I’m taking it! Are you kidding me?

MATT: If you wish to bring those over to Lyra. Lyra, make an arcana check.

FELICIA: This is a very interesting arrow. I haven’t seen one of these like this. Oh, wait,

maybe I have. 27.

MATT: Good to know. You take the time with it. You immediately recognize, there is a similar

enchantment on both of these weapons, and whoever came in here earlier had the intent of slaying

this dragon and failed to do so. What you find is a Dragon-Slayer Longsword. Which is a plus-one

weapon, normally, but against dragons or people of the dragon subtype, it deals an additional 3d6

damage with every hit.

FELICIA: It’s too bad it didn’t work for them.

MATT: And an Arrow of Dragon-Slaying. It’s a singular arrow, a one-use arrow, but if it hits a

dragon of the dragon race, type, or group, it has to make a constitution saving throw or take an

additional 6d10 piercing damage. It’s a one-use, “fuck you, dragon” arrow.

SAM: 6d10?

FELICIA: That’s very pleasant.

LAURA: Yeah, right? What is the saving throw?

SAM: You’ll see. You’re going to get the paper.

MATT: So at this point, you guys have taken probably a good hour and a half or so in this

cavern. You start seeing water drip.

LAURA: Oh, we should get out.

MATT: It’s beginning to thaw in the absence of Rimefang.

MARY: Well, what’s good is, I believe we’re within the three days of the contract, yes?

MATT: Possibly.

FELICIA: Well, we got the contract. We completed it within three days. Now, we have to get back.

MARY: Yes, we’ve killed it, so let’s go home.

MATT: Percy, you go and you pull out the contract real fast to inspect it, and you can see that the

arcane sigils that were built into it are faded, and where it looks like each piece of the dragon

that you harvested correctly, has seemingly had a strange, glimmering gold shimmer from the actual

text on the contract.

LAURA: Lyra, they’re going to love you.

FELICIA: It’s so exciting. I can’t wait to go to the mess hall and tell everybody, many times, over

and over, how this happened together. And you guys, this has been an amazing journey. Thank

you.

MARY: I would like to take just one gold coin right at the base of the head of what was formerly

Rimefang for myself. I’ll put it in a necklace when we all go back to town.

MATT: All right. You take that one gold piece, pocket it. Take a moment to remember your final

death blow against the dragon. You guys trek back through the caverns you arose, back through the

ruined frost giant village, back into the Vesper Timberland, find where your horses were currently

tied up, make your way back towards the city of Vasselheim. About a day and a half’s worth of

travel later, you notice that the blizzard that encompassed the six-mile radius of this mountain

range has faded into a soft fog, and the actual weather in this area seems to have been connected

to the presence of the dragon and is slowly dissipating. You eventually take yourself to the

base of Vasselheim’s main wall. You shout at the top of the wall, and noticing the group arriving,

they let the doors open. You can see the giant, dragon-headed ballistae that line the city walls

are armed and ready, and upon approval, they move them away. You enter the city, make your way

through the Braving Grounds to the Quadroads to the outside of the Slayer’s Take guildhall. As you

enter the main room, you see Mertin is standing there. Looks like he’s playing a game of solitaire

with a deck of cards. He looks up. “Well, I’ll be damned. Are you serious? You killed him?”

FELICIA: Mertin, we did it.

MATT: “Show me your contract. Show me this contract.”

FELICIA: I don’t know why you’d doubt us. Really, it’s right here.

MATT: “Well done.” And he puts his hand out to shake your hand.

FELICIA: Oh my gosh. I start crying. This is the most proud moment of my life, Mertin. I’ve admired

you for so long and the fact (cries) thank you. And then I just hug him.

MATT: Okay. He hugs you. “I appreciate it very much. You lost me 200 gold pieces, but well done.

"You’ve proven to be more than I expected. Let me get the Huntmistress. She will be very happy to

"see that you’ve arrived. Aye, my wife. Yes.” And he gets up and leaves. A few moments later, the

headmaster Vanessa Cyndrial comes in, her tiefling self with her horns curled behind her head. Walks

in with this smooth glare. “I must say. Some of these contracts we put out as a test of your power

"and will, and to be perfectly honest, I was pulling for you.” She puts out her hand and her

husband takes a pouch of coin and puts it in her hand. She takes it and puts it on the side of her

belt. “I’m impressed by all of you, and by this token, and by the completed contract. First off,

"you have definitely proven your worth to the Slayer’s Take.”

FELICIA: Oh my god, that is so sweet, Vanessa.

MATT: “Keep the emotions in check. We have to put up a face here. No one wants to see a member of

"the guild cry. Now, for the rest of you, I would like to humbly ask if you wish to join the

"Slayer’s Take guild.”

SAM: Yeah, sure, that’ll work. The bear, too?

MATT: “The bear, as well. Best not show him the back room. We have a few trophies back there that

"might freak him out.”

TRAVIS: Do we get to work with another leader next time?

SAM: What? Because if the answer is yes, we refuse. This is our leader from now on.

FELICIA: Thank you so much.

MATT: “You are able to choose what your group is at any time. Whatever the contract requires.”

FELICIA: I really appreciate it, but given the kiss that we had, I realized why Aldor doesn’t

love me is that I don’t have enough experience. Sexually. So I’m going to stay in town to spread

my wings in that area. And then he’ll love me. Won’t he, Vanessa?

MATT: Vanessa goes, “Lyra, I would recommend this course of action to not be taken. I would think

"that would reflect poorly– I mean, your personal time is your own, but nevertheless, my dear, this

"is a very pious house–”

SAM: I think this is a great idea.

FELICIA: Oh, no. Not you. You’re such a friend to me. I can’t ruin that.

SAM: You’re right.

MATT: Vanessa walks up and puts her hand on your shoulder and goes, “We’re going to have a talk,

"woman to woman.”

FELICIA: (whispers) Oh my god, you guys, I’m in!

MARY: Be straight with her, will you? Please.

MATT: “I’m going to make sure she doesn’t embarrass the rest of us. So with the contract

"completed, provide what you’ve harvested from your quarry, and payment will be delivered.”

LAURA: I put the bag down that’s got all the stuff in it. And then we take out a couple from the

white dragon, and put out the other stuff. And we’ve got this giant heart right here.

MATT: The heart, which Grog has been carrying on his back as you guys travel. (impact sound) It

hits the table and the wood cracks a little bit beneath it from the impact. And you can see, the

ice is starting to melt a bit on the exterior.

LAURA: Careful, it needs to be preserved.

MATT: She gives a nod. “Very well. Mertin, please, provide these for transport to the contract

"client.”

MARY: Can we ask who actually contracted it?

MATT: “It’s written on the contract itself.”

MARY: Oh, that’s right. I’m so sorry.

MATT: Percy has the contract, currently.

TALIESIN: I do. Ozwyn Grud?

TRAVIS: Grundle?

FELICIA: Alchemist Ozwyn Grud.

MATT: Make a history check, by the way.

TALIESIN: May I, as well?

FELICIA: 21.

TALIESIN: 25.

TRAVIS: Oh, a history check? Four. He’s a person.

MARY: I had four, as well. We are so getting shots later. Like, now.

LAURA: Nine.

MATT: All right. The two of you immediately go, “Huh,” and it hits you: you’ve heard the name

before. You’ve heard the name and you’re trying to figure out where it is. You pick it up and say,

“He’s a member of the Arcana Pansophical.” It’s a really exclusive group of archmages across the

entire globe that essentially work together to keep the peace on a global scale. Of which, you

know that Arcanist Allura Vysoren is a member of the Arcana Pansophical.

TALIESIN: Yes, of course.

MATT: This is another member of that team, who ordered this.

TALIESIN: This is most likely going to good use, at the very least.

SAM: So do we collect our money?

MATT: “Indeed. What is the total on that contract, if you don’t mind repeating?”

TALIESIN: I was just working that out.

LAURA: Lots of gold.

TALIESIN: Lots of gold. It’s 1,800 for the dragon eyes, 1,200 for the dragon tongue. 3,500 for the

heart. 1,500 for the claws, and then how much for the dragon teeth?

LAURA: Per dragon’s tooth? Or for all six dragon teeth?

TALIESIN: For all 20 dragon teeth.

MATT: Yeah. Essentially, considering the dragon teeth that you had already stored, those are used

in this transaction, as well as the claws. So you no longer have dragon’s teeth and dragon claws

stored in your bag. However, you’ve fulfilled the contract and get full payment for those.

TRAVIS: We have 12 teeth left.

SAM: So it’s 9,000 total?

TALIESIN: 9,000 total.

MATT: “9,000 gold pieces.” She reaches beneath, pulls out a small chest. You see her do something

beneath the table you don’t recognize, and all of a sudden you hear a clicking sound and she pulls up

three large sacks of gold (heavy impacts) on the table. “Divide as you see fit. On top of this, as

"you have now been accepted to this, when your other team members arrive, which should be any

"moment now, in the next day or so, you’ll be inducted, you’ll be absolved of your breach of the

"laws of Vasselheim, and you will also acquire a small payment in conjunction with the hydra

"contract. So we will discuss this as soon as your friends arrive. Until then, feel free to rest,

"divide the gold, and be on your way.”

LAURA: That’s 1,500 each.

SAM and TALIESIN: Thank you.

FELICIA: Oh, I don’t need any. (laughs)

LAURA: What about you, Zahra?

MARY: Oh, I need. I’ll take, definitely. Thank you.

MATT: “You do not need your money? Well, that will go back to the guild, thank you.”

TRAVIS: No, she misspoke.

MARY: She misspoke. I’m so sorry. She completely misspoke.

MATT: (chuckles) “Very well.” Tosses the coins.

LAURA: 1,800 each.

MATT: “Well done. Congratulations, and I look forward to a very fruitful and profitable future

"together here at the Slayer’s Take.”

TRAVIS: Aye. Scanlan, should we go and make sure that your wounds are completely healed?

LAURA: Can we insight check Vanessa really fast?

MATT: You may. What are you trying to gather?

LAURA: Just to see what kind of person she is.

MATT: All right, go for an insight check.

LAURA: 24.

MATT: Okay. You know you have a very strong sense of being able to read a person, and yet she is

still an enigma to you. She seems earnest. She seems definitely a shrewd businesswoman, and

there’s a reason this guild has been successful for as long as she’s been at the helm of it. But

as far as reading her intent? She seems very guarded and hard to read. You’re unable to really

catch a bead on her.

FELICIA: Vanessa, I want to thank you for trusting me with this very difficult task. I know that you

sent some other people after this dragon, and your confidence in our abilities over theirs, who were

defeated? It’s just fantastic. I mean, what were you thinking?

TRAVIS: What were you thinking?

TALIESIN: What were you thinking, really?

MATT: “Well, to be perfectly honest, this dragon had been a thorn in our side, with previous

"contracts failed on its side, and you all seemed so confident in your skills. I figured it would be

"a good excuse for you to either flee from this thing and come back with your tail between your

"legs, or be foolish and get yourself killed, in which case, you’re not a problem of ours anymore

"and everything’s fine. Or, best case scenario, what you’ve shown to me today.”

LAURA: Which is that we’re amazing.

TRAVIS: Vox Machina does not flee.

MARY: Never. Although I’m not a part of it.

SAM: We’ll make you an honorary member.

MATT: “Anyway, I have business to attend to. Enjoy your night. Celebrate. And return here when you

"wish to see your friends hopefully return as successful as you were.”

SAM and MARY: Thank you.

TRAVIS: We are sure they will.

MATT: “Mertin!” “Yes, I know, my dear. I’m taking it.” And he takes the heart and (grunts) lifts it

over his back and the halfling, as thick as he is, (grunts) is bringing it to the back room. She

turns around, gathers the rest of the materials into a sack, and exits the room. And with that, we

will conclude tonight’s session. Well done!

SAM: We did it!

MARY: We survived!

LAURA: Good job, Mary!

MATT: By the way, these are your magical items. You want to go ahead and take those?

SAM: I have to split.

TALIESIN: Yes, you’re moving.

FELICIA: Tonight?

TALIESIN: Tomorrow.

FELICIA: Oh my goodness.

MATT: First off, guys, a big round of applause and appreciation for our guests. Mary, Felicia. You

guys were fantastic.

TALIESIN: Guest dragon kill.

FELICIA: That was very fun. Thank you for letting me guest and be on the Twitch channel. You guys

are a joy to have. I’m so proud to be part of the Geek and Sundry family.

MARY: I would like to say thank you so much to the community, to the Critters out there. I’ve never

felt so much love overnight and through this last week. You inspired me today, and all of us, so

thank you so much.

ZAC: Speaking of Critters, #CriticalRole is officially trending on Twitter right now on the

front page. You guys should all keep that trend going and go tell us what you think about the show

and your favorite moments from tonight with
 * 1) CriticalRole, @GeekandSundry. A couple of other

quick announcements. Thank you, Felicia, for coming out. She’s about to leave for a month,

right?

FELICIA: I’m going on a book tour, so please, if you haven’t, preorder my book. feliciadaybook.com.

I’m going to 12 cities, then DragonCon. I’m pretty excited about it. I’m going all over. I’m sorry,

Midwest. It’ll be fun.

ZAC: Speaking of her book, guys, we are 60 subscribers away, roughly, from doing another

signed book giveaway. Subs are what keep this channel alive. We wouldn’t be able to bring you

this content without subscribers, so let’s try to get that 60 before we’re done reading all our

donations and prizes and everything else. But actually, I think we’re going to play that video

of Felicia one more time really quick to support her book tour.

FELICIA: That’s very sweet.

ZAC: We’ll be right back, really quick, with our donations and everything.

MATT: Yes.