Commerce & Chaos

is the thirty-first episode of the second campaign of Critical Role. The Mighty Nein take two weeks of downtime in Zadash, shopping and researching, before embarking on their next adventure...

Pre-Show
Laura will be joining the rest of the cast shortly: she's finishing baby stuff in the other room.

Announcements

 * Our sponsor tonight is our fantastic friends and glorious sponsors through Campaign 2 thus far: D&D Beyond!
 * Yesterday (August 15, 2018) was D&D Beyond's one-year anniversary. Wish them a Happy Birthday on their Facebook and Twitter pages!  Also, as a reminder: D&D Beyond streams their weekly show ("And Beyond") every Wednesday on twitch.tv/dndbeyond.  It's got great conversations with special guests like Matt Mercer, Mike Mearls, and other guests with the initials "M.M.".  Sam has to do a few pick-ups during the announcement.  Sam recently went to Virginia, so he got inspired to write a country song for D&D Beyond.  Sam was going to learn this song on the guitar, but then he realized he doesn't really play guitar.  Sam starts to sing, but then does one last pick-up as Laura sits down.  Sam confirms that everything mentioned in the song are all official Southern things.  Travis isn't sure if D&D Beyond will animate that song.  Sam says give it time.  We now have the mental image of Country Sam enjoying "an all-night date" with his D&D Beyond (aka Sam's computer).
 * For those who haven't seen it yet, the VOD for Marisha's "Honey Heist 2: Electric Beargaloo" is available on YouTube for free, so go check it out whenever you want! Matt says it was nuts, but so much fun.  Marisha confirms they were all pretty loopy.  For the time being, the Electric Beargaloo T-shirt is available right now in the store for a limited time.  Fantastic, "beary" awesome art by Joana Carvalho ("SleepyJane" on Twitter).
 * Laura wonders why her dice are already laid out when she got there. Who was touching her dice?!?  Travis tells Sam to deny it: his life is short enough as it is.  Sam claims he was helping set up for Laura...being a caring parent himself.  Sam tells her not to worry: he only touched the dice Laura wouldn't have used anyways.  Laura says that's GREAT...
 * merch update from Laura: We've got those Electric Beargaloo shirts that Matt mentioned! She gets handed the ad copy.  We have retro tees (which Travis is wearing)!  We have Mighty Nein tees (which Marisha is wearing)!  The one Marisha is wearing has been altered (Sleeves Are Bulls***), but you can alter your own at home!  We don't have the tee Taliesin is wearing...it's a classic (Gilmore's Glorious Goods).  But we still have our...other shirts.  Sam states that Laura has *one* job.  Laura responds by clarifying the "Nott the Best Detective Agency" shirts are in the store.  The pins and "Dad Hats" are sold out, but will be back sometime.  Everyone loves the Dad Hats: they're awesome!  Sam asks why the navy Critter caps are called "Dad Hats"?  They just are called that.  Marisha and Laura were wearing theirs earlier today.  There are other things, so go check out the shop! At shop.critrole.com...Laura *obviously* knows that address by heart.  Travis remarks how "polished" and "professional" that was.  Laura hopes that someday she will get to those "Sam Riegel levels" in advertising.
 * We'll have our Wyrmwood giveaway at the break. Matt will have all the information for that at the time.
 * Before Matt can finish the "Previously on Critical Role" recap, Sam interrupts to reveal what's on his flask tonight: one of Matt's very first headshots...a ten year-old character headshot as a doctor archetype, with the text, "THE DOCTOR IS IN." Because when Matt was a new actor in LA, everyone told him he had to get some costumed headshots.  Liam reassures him that no one in LA knows what they're doing "right off the truck".  Laura tells Marisha to look at her husband.  Marisha says it's so good.  Travis says, "Doogie Howser, eat your f***ing heart out!"  Matt isn't going to be able to run the game tonight: he can't focus.

Previously on Critical Role
"Our band of adventurers, the Mighty Nein - having trekked away from Zadash, northward on two different jobs for the Gentleman - had accomplished both of these contracted jobs for him. Losing a friend, gaining a friend, made their way back south.

"Upon completing your journey - checking in with the Gentleman - you were paid the ripe sum that you had discussed, and after taking your newfound friend from the Shady Creek Run (Ophelia) back to The Evening Nip, you exited with your new gold and platinum in hand. And after a celebratory drink to the memory of Molly, you grabbed Caduceus and led him into the city of Zadash - the largest city he's ever seen by leaps and bounds - to see what kind of ways you can corrupt this new, fresh mind...free out of the Savalier Wood..."

Part I
The Mighty Nein has roughly two weeks of downtime before the next leg of their journey.

Nott

 * In disguise, Nott uses her money to buy 1 gp worth of bunch of baubles, trinkets, buttons, ribbons, string, beads, and one crescent-shaped ornament. She puts it all in a package with a note and 100 gp, and mails the package to a yet-to-be-revealed location.  She also buys tinkerer's tools for 50 gp.
 * Fjord discovers that Nott has a gun, with a single shot. Nott warns him not to mess with her, or she'll blow him away! (unless she misses)
 * Nott uses her new tinkerer's tools to take her gun apart and figure out how it works (specifically, how the hammer works and how the gunpowder ignites). Caleb helps: he's not proficient in tinkerer's tools, but he's very intelligent.  Since Nott isn't proficient in tinkerer's tools either, she rolls a straight INT check: 14 with a +3 INT modifier is 17.  It takes a bit of time, but Nott manages to carefully disassemble the entire pistol without any issues.  Matt has Taliesin (since Percy was responsible for inventing these things just over 20 years ago) detail exactly how the impact of the hammer creates an explosion.
 * With that knowledge and whatever gunpowder she can acquire, Nott tries to modify the 20 arrows she grabbed from the Sour Nest with explosive arrowheads. With another straight INT check of 14 (11 + 3), it costs Nott 20 gp in additional materials because she fails multiple times and end up wasting a lot of arrows.  However, in the end, she has one explosive arrow...though she is not entirely certain what it does.
 * Nott attempts to reassemble the gun (INT check: 12 + 3 = 15). She reassembles the gun...it *looks* functional.  Nott comments that whoever invented this...she must have been a very, very smart person.
 * Nott commissions a pair of gloves for comfort and show. They are human skin-colored, with little "fingernails" embroidered at the end.  She has them made for 5 gp at the same store where Beau commissioned her reversible cloak.
 * Nott asks for Jester's help to forge a letter to the Soltryce Academy in Rexxentrum. She asks Jester not to tell Caleb about it.  Nott wants a letter that sounds like it comes from some kind of legal entity (a law firm, or a court, or something like that).  Jester is proficient in forgery kit, so she rolls an INT check (11 + 1 + 3 = 15)  She forges the letter in what Jester believes to be a fairly decent forgery of an officious letter.  She adds little flourishes of calligraphy at the beginning and scenting the letter with lavender oil.  They try sealing the letter with candle wax.  Jester rolls a DEX check (6 + 4 = 10).  There is a difference between sealing wax and candle wax.  How does Matt know this?  He has made this mistake before sealing letters for previous D&D campaigns.  There is mush on Jester's ring and on the letter.  Jester peels off the wax and goes to purchase sealing wax for 2 sp.  Nott offers to pay for the postage.  Jester keeps the rest of the sealing wax for when she sends letters to her mom.  Jester re-seals the letter with sealing wax, and her ring gives the seal a rose symbol.  The letter reads something like:
 * "To Whom It May Concern, I am trying to reach a young lady named Astrid (no last name given), who was a student about eleven years ago at your Academy. She has inherited a bit of money from a distant relative: her uncle Leonard Hyphen-Leonard, from the town of Nigeria.  And his estate has employed me to find her, in order to deliver the vast sums of money.  Please reach out to me with her last known contact information or address.  You can write me in care of the 'Pillow Trove Hotel, Zadash.  ATTN: Mrs. Lavorre, Esq.'  My legal practice of Nott & Brave law firm thanks you in advance."
 * After the letter is sent off, Nott again urges Jester not to tell Caleb. Nott believes he would get upset, but Nott believes this person would be able to make him think of happier times.  Jester realizes that Astrid is the name that Caleb drunkenly mumbled to Jester when they danced in Hupperdook.  Nott cites this as proof that Caleb misses her.  Jester asks if Astrid was Caleb's girlfriend.  Nott doesn't know which way Caleb swings, but Nott thinks Astrid was indeed his girlfriend.  Nott is confident that Caleb could get any girl he wants.  Jester agrees that he is very handsome, especially when he shaves because you can see that little "butt-chin" he has.

Caleb

 * Caleb goes shopping, and Caduceus asks to come along: if they're going to be traveling together, they ought to have some supplies. Also, Caduceus is looking for some diamonds for some things he knows how to do.  Jester remarks that she needs some diamonds too.  Beau just got money, so she goes shopping too.  It is late morning (almost midday) in the Pentamarket as their shopping trip begins:
 * The Invulnerable Vagrant: Caduceus is introduced to Pumat Sol and his three simulacra. Caduceus assumes they are all quadruplets, and he is very impressed with what Pumat's mother had to go through.  Pumat Prime clarifies that the other three are arcane-based copies of himself: they are all collectively Pumat Sol, but Pumat Prime is the original.  Caduceus calls that crazy and would love to learn to do that himself.  Jester insists that Pumat Prime shouldn't just call the others "copies": they have their own personalities, and Pumat Prime should appreciate them more.  One of the Pumat copies explains that they take no offense, because it's true.  Jester insists that each of them is unique in their own way, and each of them should really appreciate that.  The three Pumat simulacra go, "Awwww" at the same time, and Jester goes back to rearranging the shelves.  Caduceus asks if there's anything he should see in Zadash?  Caleb remarks that the baths in town are quite lovely.  Pumat Prime goes back into the workshop, so the other Pumats help the party with their purchases.  Caleb notices that one of the Pumats is reading a book, but Beau cuts him off and demands to know if Pumat still has those Bracers of Defense she was looking at last time?  He does: the price is still 1200 gp.  Beau holds off on them for now.  Caleb states that he is looking to spend 1000 gp here, and he would be more likely to do so if Pumat could give Beau a better price on the bracers.  Caleb needs 500-600 gp of Pumat's finest paper and ink, so Pumat #3 is sent to go fetch more of that "wizard paper and ink".  Caleb also needs about 60 gp worth of fine incense.  Pumat doesn't have a whole lot of incense: he has 20 gp worth of incense, but there are incense makers in Zadash who could probably help him out with the rest of it.  Pumat offers to order more incense in stock, if this is going to be a regular order from Caleb.  Caleb was also hoping to look through Pumat's collection of spell scrolls, in particular any Transmutation spells.  Pumat asks what Caleb is looking for?  Caleb is looking for one if you or your friends are falling (Feather Fall), one that can get him out of Dodge if he gets too hurt (Expeditious Retreat), and one that can sort of catapult things across the room (Catapult).  Pumat can give him the three spell scrolls for 300 gp.  Caleb says he might consider adding the three scrolls (and maybe some additional spells) to his cart if Beau gets a better deal on the bracers.  Jester also might want to buy a magic weapon if it's "really cool and stuff".  Pumat shows her a broken enchanted sword from the Age of Arcanum.  Pumat also has a pouch containing Dust of Deliciousness, and a Cloak of Elvenkind.  Jester gives Pumat her handaxe to be enchanted.  She wants a "really cool" enchanted weapon that would hit really hard, open wounds that don't ever close, poison people, also turn them into candy, makes people turn pink, and makes people start dancing and stuff.  Pumat Prime says such a weapon would take eight months to enchant, and would probably cost 10,000 to 12,000 gp.  Jester says it seems like a really reasonable price, and Pumat agrees that is the best price Jester will get outside of Rexxentrum.  Jester asks how much for an enchantment that forces people it hits to dance uncontrollably?  Pumat says that would be about 8,000 gp.  Jester doesn't have that much either, so Jester has her handaxe enchanted into a +1 magic weapon for 400 gp.  Caduceus buys the broken sword, because he likes broken things.  Jester and Caduceus buy the Cloak of Elvenkind as a gift for Nott.  Caleb persuades Pumat to give them a discount on the total purchase: 100 gold off. Beau buys the Bracers of Defense.  Jester purchases the Dust of Deliciousness, and manages to get 5 gp off because Pumat likes her.
 * When Beau goes back to the Cobalt Soul for additional training, Caleb goes with her to spend four days perusing their library.

The Mighty Nein

 * Beauregard
 * Caduceus Clay
 * Fjord
 * Frumpkin
 * Jester Lavorre
 * Nott
 * Caleb Widogast
 * Yasha (absent, mentioned)

New

 * Tubo
 * Jezna Bree
 * Suvo

Returning

 * Cree
 * The Gentleman
 * Pumat Sol
 * The Traveler
 * Zeenoth

Mentioned

 * Astrid
 * Dairon
 * Mollymauk Tealeaf
 * Sabien