Transcript:A Musician's Nostalgia

List of Transcripts

Pre-Show
MATT: Hello, and welcome to tonight’s episode of Critical Role, the show where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors play Dungeons and Dragons. We’re happy to be back. We all had an awesome break; some good times away from the chaos of the city for some of us. And we’re happy to get this ball rolling again. So we’ve missed you guys. In case you can’t tell right now, we have some cool upgrades to the set, actually, if you want to have a look around real fast. The hardworking folks here at Geek and Sundry were awesome enough to go ahead and build this awesome set, and we’re happy enough to have a guest here this evening, as Ashley Johnson is able to hang with us tonight.

ASHLEY: Hello! I like you!

MARISHA: Ashley! When did you get here!

ASHLEY: Oh man, you know, I just flew in. Oh no, we’re running out of space. Grog! Hi, guys. Wow, this looks amazing!

MATT: Yeah, the set upgrades are awesome. This is a tribute to the awesome crew that put all this together over the break, so you guys did an awesome job. Give a big shout-out to the Geek and Sundry crew. Yeah, and so for those who saw earlier tweets, we’re pushing off Critmas to probably next week because we’re all returning from break, we’re all getting back into the swing of things, and we’re still getting our bearings here. So we’re doing that next week. But nevertheless, let’s go ahead and start off with some of our quick announcements as we wait for the illustrious Sam Riegel to find his way here. There was a clamoring from the fanbase to extend the sale of the Critmas sweaters. Orders kept coming in, so we’ve extended it up to this point. However, I believe tonight, is it, tonight?

LAURA: Tonight is the last night.

MATT: The very last night to purchase your Critmas sweaters–

LAURA: And then it’s gone forever.

MATT: Forever.

MARISHA: I lived in mine over the holiday.

LAURA: Yes, you did. Every time I saw you were wearing it.

LIAM: They’re very soft on the inside.

MARISHA: Very soft.

TALIESIN: I have not seen a picture of my brother without his.

MARISHA: They’re so comfy.

MATT: I’m so glad that we’ve converted your brother into a dungeon master.

TALIESIN: It’s so adorable! Oh, he’s watching right now and I just called him adorable. I feel so bad.

MARISHA: And we found out your parents watch! We had no idea your parents watched.

MATT: Yeah, my parents were like, yeah, no, we’ll be there, we’ll watch it. I was like, really? In Hawaii? In the middle of the jungle? Like, yeah, I guess we’re Critters. I’m like, my parents are Critters.

LAURA: Your parents are Critters?

MATT: Sam plowed that pathway first, so Momlan, definitely the most active of the Critter parents. So. Hi, guys, if you’re watching. We still have the awesome Wyrmwood Gaming thing they’re providing for all you guys. They have their custom dice boxes and containment elements.

LIAM: And the code for free shipping is CritRole. CritRole, and the shipping is free.

MATT: Isn’t that cool?

MARISHA: I think this is also technically yours, too.

LAURA: Yeah, that box is hers.

MARISHA: Yeah, we put expansion pack spell cards in there that we can all use.

MATT: Mostly poop, though. We kept cards in it, it gets, yeah, you’ve got to search for it. Collectible poop. From our foraging. From Scanlan. So yeah, Wyrmwood Gaming, CritRole for free shipping. That’s awesome. Thank you, guys, again for providing that for our awesome fanbase. Also, I’ve just finally put up my final– outside of, barring some horrible exploit that shows up months from now– my final update to the Blood Hunter class as of ten minutes ago. You can go to my twitter. I think the link on the Geek and Sundry page isn’t working, it still goes to the old PDF, but I had the link to the new PDF on my twitter, will be put up there shortly. A bunch of updates and with a link to the page that has all the patch notes, if you will.

MARISHA: And new art.

MATT: And new art from our fantastic artist Joma who has done our poster and stuff; he did an incredible job. He named the character Elias and I think Elias the Blood Hunter is my new spirit animal. So thank you, Joma, for that, you’re amazing, and go check it out and see. If you’re playing a Blood Hunter, it’s got some cool updates and I think some things you’ll like. Also, our artist Kit Buss put up today her first peek of our new character art designs.

LIAM: She put it all up.

MATT: Oh, it’s all up? She put it all up.

LIAM: She did a group shot and then she did this long row of each separate.

MARISHA: Oh, I haven’t seen that one yet.

LAURA: Yeah. It’s pretty remarkable.

TALIESIN: Season two. Season two art.

MATT: I don’t know when this became season two, but apparently, it’s season two now. So. Season two. (laughs) That’s cool. So go check out Kit’s art and you get to see the evolution of the Vox Machina outfits and designs.

TALIESIN: I have poofy arms now. I like my poofy arms. I’ve got little poofy arms. They’re great.

MARISHA: I’ve got body paint. Ashy body paint.

MATT: Yeah. And don’t think this invalidates the previous designs, either. This is just one of their various facets.

LIAM: We have more than one set of clothes.

LAURA: Yeah, otherwise, we’d all smell like Grog.

ASHLEY: Ooh, burn.

LAURA: Diss!

TRAVIS: Or a compliment.

(laughter)

MATT: I wanted to put a thank-you out there to the amazing community of Critters that came together to do that Christmas art bomb. For those who haven’t seen it yet, Liam here collaborated with a lot of you guys to put together an amazing gallery of Christmas, holiday-themed Critical Role art, and it’s brilliant. If you haven’t seen the gallery yet, I highly recommend it. You can find it on the website. You are a rogue, sir.

LIAM: Well, I love everyone in the room and I love all of you watching, so thank you.

(laughter)

LIAM: It came out great. I was extremely happy, so were they, so were you, so win-win.

TALIESIN: So much art.

MATT: The last bit of my announcements for the evening, I wanted to put another thank-you out to the amazing Critter community. Thanks to you guys, even after Extra Life and everything that went on towards the end of the year, we were still able to donate an additional $5,000 to 826LA over the Christmas break.

(cheering)

MATT: They’re looking forward to continue working with us. We’re looking forward to continue working with them, as well as the many other charities that we put up as part of our Guide to Critmas page. But they’re very thankful and we’re extremely thankful to have you guys being so active in giving back to the communities and helping these wonderful opportunities for younger kids to express their imaginations and creative writing skills. So thank you guys for being so awesome.

TRAVIS: Reading and writing is good. It’s very imp– imp– is good.

TALIESIN: It’s very impotent?

TRAVIS: Yeah, I’ve been told I’m very impotent.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Thank you for running with that.

MATT: We got to get Grog on a side quest for 826LA.

TRAVIS: You’re very impotent to me.

TALIESIN: Don’t make it too hard.

MATT: (rimshot) All righty, so. While we wait for Sam to arrive, let’s go ahead and get into the game–

LAURA: Oh my gosh, it’s so pretty! The panels behind us. I was just admiring–

Part I
MATT: I still haven’t seen how the layout looks. I’m really excited for it. Also, for the guys who didn’t notice, we’ve updated some of the models and we have colors and a new camera setup. Hopefully we’re going to be testing it out in the weeks to come for camera angles and stuff. Things might shift as it happens, but the color scheme on each of the characters’ bases corresponds to their portrait color, so it should be easier to distinguish who is who on the battle mat going forward, so hopefully that’ll be helpful. All right! Let’s get into the thick of it. So last we left off, Vox Machina had finished an extensive, dangerous, tension-filled adventure to the city of Whitestone, the historical landscape that Percival had grown up in, to take down the Briarwoods, two husband-and-wife team who had been responsible for ruling it with an iron fist for five years, doing a series of atrocities and seemingly preparing a ziggurat, or an ancient temple, beneath the city for some unspoken deity that the party then discovered to be an individual referred to as Vecna. They defeated the Briarwoods, managed to help the rebellion of the people of Whitestone retake their town, and helped them set up, prepare, and have their first Winter’s Crest festival in five years, since they were taken by the Briarwoods. There was much game-playing and eating contests and polymorphed bears and very fun adventures and exchange of gifts and some fun moments and the party, as we return now, the festival over, a few days past, begin to put their affairs in order to return back to Emon in what their next order of business is. So picking up from there, it’s been a few days since the Winter’s Crest festival has finished, and most of the decorations, as quickly put together as they were given the circumstances, still loosely hang around the city as a reminder of the first real beacon of positivity in this city’s history in a while. The town’s much more lively, as people are less afraid to walk out into the streets during the day and it’s like watching it really come to life over these past few weeks.

TRAVIS: Sam’s here.

MATT: He’s going to go ahead and get a Scanlan. Grog wouldn’t be paying attention anyway. It’s fine.

ASHLEY: Squirrel!

TALIESIN: (Grog voice) It’s true. It’s very true.

MATT: You’ve sent off word to Allura in Emon regarding the strange black dot that stands at the top of the ziggurat and letting her know the circumstance, and heard back from her that it seems that–

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Smooth. Well done.

MATT: And welcome back, Sam Riegel.

SAM: Where am I?

ASHLEY: I know. It’s so magical.

SAM: What’s going on? Oh my god, Ashley’s here! Oh my god, you’re here! Okay, sorry. You were recapping.

MATT: That’s okay. So where was I? Yes, okay. So with the town being set where it is, you sent word to Allura Vysoren, and she’s going to gather a few friends and investigate the ziggurat to see what the nature of this lingering magic is. However, there still stands the part of returning to the Council and proving your innocence, amongst other loose threads you wish to pursue. What would you like to do?

MARISHA: Well, we have all that awesome proof, right?

LAURA: I think we need to head back to Emon.

SAM: Do we have proof? What do we have?

LAURA: We have all of the documents that you took from the Briarwoods’ stuff. Plus, we have–

SAM: Physical? Do we have someone who could back up our testimony?

LAURA: The new rulers, yeah.

SAM: Well, they’re not going to come with us, are they?

LAURA: Well, we’ve got Percival. He’s kind of in charge.

TALIESIN: I’m kind of a big deal.

MARISHA: I feel like they’ll see that as a conflict of interest.

TALIESIN: That’s fair.

SAM: Should we bring someone along to corroborate our stories?

LIAM: What about– I know someone needs to mind the store here in town, but Cassandra was in their pockets for a long time, and what about Father–

MARISHA: Yennen? Yevon? Yennen?

TALIESIN: We could have them write a letter, and we can seal it and then it would be official.

LAURA: Let’s do that.

MARISHA: Make sure that they notarize it and all that good stuff.

TALIESIN: Governments function on paperwork. People have to take this seriously.

LAURA: That’s right. They can’t very well arrest Percival when he’s royalty now.

LIAM: Technically royalty before.

LAURA: Well, now he’s rich royalty.

TALIESIN: We have money now.

SAM: Do we? How much money do we have?

TALIESIN: It depends on what we want.

MARISHA: Depends on what we want?

TALIESIN: We can’t bankrupt the treasury or anything, but I’m sure that we can dip.

LAURA: 50,000 gold?

TALIESIN: Don’t put a number on family.

LAURA: Flying carpet gold?

TALIESIN: That’s actually a very good question.

TRAVIS: So we go get a letter and we go back to Emon and clear our name.

SAM: That’s our evidence?

LAURA: Plus all of the documents that you found!

SAM: All right, paper trail.

TALIESIN: Actually, that’s a really interesting idea. Is there anybody in town who could re-enchant our carpet?

MARISHA: Well, he said it would take a year, and you’d need to have Allura work on that.

TALIESIN: I’m asking the Yellow Pages.

MATT: As far as you know from your experience in the town, there were two main sources of individuals that had focused on enchanting items. One of which, their abode or their shop had been collapsed and they were no longer seen, and the other one had apparently been acquired by the Briarwoods to aid them in the construction of the ziggurat and you met his daughter, and he never turned up.

LAURA: Okay. Maybe we can wait until we get back to Emon and have Gilmore do it.

TALIESIN: We’ll talk to them and see what’s possible.

LAURA: Oh, we can’t really ask Allura to do it. We stole the carpet from her in the first place. That would be a very bad move, I think.

TRAVIS: Oh, we could just say somebody stole it from her. We stole it from them, we were trying to return it, it fell in acid.

LAURA: But then what? We wouldn’t get it back.

TRAVIS: Well, she fixes it. Oh, here’s a gift for recovering the rug. It makes perfect sense to me.

MARISHA: To be fair, she was just using it as a rug.

TRAVIS: Right.

MARISHA: Right?

SAM: Yeah, that seems like a really expensive rug.

LAURA: Maybe she was keeping it secret. Keeping it safe.

SAM: All right, forget it. Let’s just go.

TALIESIN: I’m going to craft that thing that I’ve been wanting to craft, so that was, that we talked about.

MATT: Okay, so over the past few days. Okay. As you guys are all preparing the circumstance over these next few days, you’ve gone into your original workshop, which is a little more ramshackle than the one you have back in Emon that was built for you. This was just the one that you had pieced together while you were growing up in Whitestone. I would like for you to go ahead and make a tinkering check, if you don’t mind.

LAURA: Plus, we had them send word to Uriel, remember? We had them send a letter to Uriel, explaining all the wonderful things we did. Yes, I talked to him.

TALIESIN: Shut up!

TRAVIS: How did the golden snitch do?

LIAM: Not well. Not with that face.

TALIESIN: Can I use my resolve?

MATT: That’s a saving throw, unfortunately. That’s not a skill check.

TALIESIN: Goddamn it. 11.

MATT: 11? This is to craft the–

TALIESIN: Well, I’m doing the whole kit and caboodle.

MATT: The entire thing?

TALIESIN: Well, if I can break it up into chunks, then that will be– taking it apart. I’m going to take it apart, I’m going to put it back together, and I’m going to add the fifth barrel.

MATT: Okay. (sighs) You manage to pull apart, over the period of a few days, Ripley’s pistol. You take aspects of whitestone and residuum dust as well as residuum glass and begin to reconstruct it, based on its elements, in a much more refined, in a much more Percival-practiced method. You attach the fifth barrel, the one that you intend to be used to deliver short-range explosives, and it seems to fit together.

TALIESIN: Okay.

MATT: It’s nothing fancy, and a little part of you goes like, it’s rattling a little when you shake it in your hand.

TALIESIN: Can I give it a once-over?

MATT: Go ahead and make a perception check. No, this would be investigation.

TALIESIN: I hate you. The difference between those rolls are really impressive.

MATT: This is where the intellect plays off, guys.

TALIESIN: Whoa! Okay, I’m going to point out that I just rolled my die before the game started and rolled a natural 20 on my first roll. Five.

TRAVIS: 2016, bitch.

MATT: Okay. It looks pretty solid. You think it would be wise to take additional materials with you as you leave, just in case you want to build something else, but this seems functional.

TALIESIN: I’ve got all the little bits. I’m going to definitely– I’ve learned my lesson.

MATT: So in theory, going forward, the gun does function, but every misfire number is increased by two.

TALIESIN: So that gives me a three and a–

MATT: A misfire of three on the pistol and what is now a misfire of five with the fifth barrel.

TALIESIN: That’ll be funny. Oh, I also have to make some ammo for it, since it’s individual ammo, so should I just roll for that?

MATT: Well, for the ammunition it has to be a little more specific. We’ll get to that. With the time you have at this point, you’ve just managed to finish that before you guys are ready to go. Cool, all right. So what’s the intent, guys?

LAURA: So we’re heading back to Emon. But we did send a letter ahead!

MATT: You sent a letter, notifying them of what has happened, that Whitestone has been freed.

LAURA: And remember I said make sure to tell them how Vox Machina saved the day, and how wonderful we are, and you said, yes you would do that.

MATT: As far as you know, that’s been sent.

LIAM: So all the messages– because I sent word out to Gilmore, as well– we haven’t heard anything back from anyone, though. It’s too soon, yeah?

MATT: It’s been pretty soon. That was just a few days ago in Whitestone.

LAURA: I also think I probably sent a letter to Pike to let her know that we’re safe and we survived everything, and that she would’ve been at Winter’s Crest.

MATT: It was hard thinking of an address in Vasselheim that would reach her, but you did your best to conjecture, and you attempted it, so we’ll see if it finds its way.

ASHLEY: Maybe it worked!

(laughter)

MATT: All right, so how are you guys getting back to Emon?

SAM: On our horses that we own. Do we own horses?

MARISHA: They were eaten by harpies.

SAM: Let’s go buy some horses.

TALIESIN: On the harpies that we own.

LAURA: They’ve got to, right? They have horses here.

MATT: There are a couple liveries here that do sell, aside from keeping the horses of the actual guard.

LIAM: Percival, you have the run of this place, somewhat.

TALIESIN: I’m going to assume that I can use some family connections to finagle a few horses.

MATT: Okay. I’d say you’re looking at probably about five to six days’ travel on horseback to get back to Emon.

SAM: Is there a faster way?

MARISHA: There’s no teleportation circles, is there?

LAURA: No. They don’t have one.

LIAM: Can’t you walk us through an oak tree?

MARISHA: I can. Yeah. Actually.

LAURA: Yeah, walk us through an oak tree!

SAM: All of us?

MARISHA: Long as we all jump within six seconds.

SAM: What happens if we don’t?

LAURA: We’re left behind.

MATT: Yeah, it’s not a challenge, really. It’s just a very short time period. Yeah, you can do that if you want to.

TALIESIN: We have an instant teleportation as a worst-case scenario.

SAM: And where does it take us?

MARISHA: Home. To our keep.

SAM: Sounds crazy. Can we always use this?

TALIESIN: We’ll actually in theory beat the letters that we sent. That’s okay; we have proof.

MARISHA: But it’s coming. It’s on the way.

SAM: So wait, you can zap us anywhere in the world?

MARISHA: I have a 6th-level spell called Teleportation via Plants, where as long as I’ve seen the tree before, we can walk through the tree.

LAURA and TALIESIN: We’re getting another letter.

LAURA: Sealed, so it looks like we didn’t tamper with it.

MATT: Easy enough to get it signed by Keeper Yennen, you get it signed by Cassandra.

LIAM: And everything is good here for when we go, Percival? Your sister and everyone, Keeper what’s-his-butt?

TALIESIN: If anything goes wrong, we’ll hear about it, and we can come back.

SAM: What’s going on with the spinning black cube? Are we okay?

LAURA: Isn’t Allura on her way here? Aren’t a lot of people on their way here? I’m so confused.

MARISHA: That’s true, wasn’t Allura on her way?

SAM: What happened in 2015? The whole way through. Start from the beginning.

LIAM: Well, first there were dinosaurs.

MATT: Yes. Last you were told, Allura is coming with a couple of companions to investigate the ziggurat. There was no indication that you’re required for that, nor could you really aid in that–

TRAVIS: Speak for yourself.

MATT: Well, your vast understanding of arcane elements and the history of magic should come in handy.

LAURA: And Drez Vina, right? He’s coming, too? He’s had a notice to him?

MATT: Drez Vina?

LAURA: Not Drez Vina.

LIAM: That’s in the Wayback Machine.

MATT: You haven’t seen Drez Vina in about a year and a half.

MARISHA: The emperor dude?

LAURA: No.

LIAM: Victor, the powder guy.

TRAVIS: Are you looking for the notes that you don’t take?

LAURA: I take notes!

LIAM: Ivan from the other show? Do you mean Ivan, from the show before us?

LAURA: I’m going to find his name, don’t you guys worry, then I’m going to bring it right up.

LIAM: She’s the brains of the group.

TRAVIS: Can we go get that other fucking letter please?

MARISHA and TALIESIN: We got it.

MATT: You acquired it. It didn’t take much time.

MARISHA: Theoretically, they were trying to keep Allura from us, anyway, so it’s not like she can help us in Emon. Right? So we can go home.

TALIESIN, MARISHA, and TRAVIS: Yeah. Let’s go home.

LAURA: Let’s hop in a tree.

MARISHA: Let’s hop in a tree. What?

LIAM: I’m just going to say, here’s what we don’t know: if we beat the letters home, if we try to walk up with the letter, we should send someone to them with the letter because probably Uriel came to his senses once Sylas was hit with some dicks?

TRAVIS: What, we can’t go find that boy you abused in Emon and have him send the letter?

LIAM: Who?

TRAVIS: That little kid you smacked around who wanted to join–

LIAM: He’s long gone, man. I don’t know where he is.

TRAVIS: He’s probably back, drawing pictures of you on the city walls and crying.

LIAM: Get in line. But I don’t think we want to walk up ourselves, just in case. We should send somebody.

LAURA: We’ll head home. We’ll send our butler.

TALIESIN: He’s senile and gentle; they’ll be kind.

LAURA: Yes. They’ll be very wonderful to him. I can’t find it.

LIAM: All right. Well, let’s jump through.

MARISHA: Well, we technically already have a letter coming, and we’ll have a letter in hand. Right?

LIAM: Maybe we need more letters.

SAM: It’ll be fine.

MATT: You also, be reminded, you that you have a prisoner in the bottom of Greyskull Keep that was a survivor of the Briarwood–

TRAVIS: If he’s still alive.

MATT: Yeah, you haven’t checked in.

LIAM: We don’t know.

TRAVIS: We’ll find out as soon as we get there.

TALIESIN: At least he’ll be going home to a very nice surprise.

TRAVIS: I got one gold piece he’s turned to kibble.

LAURA: Oh no.

MARISHA: Yeah, I hope our keep’s still there.

SAM: Before we go, can I shit-scry?

MARISHA: To see our keep to make sure it’s not on fire? That’s not a bad idea. Let’s do it.

MATT: For people tuning in for the first time, I’m going to give you no context.

SAM: I’m going to concentrate really hard on my bowels. See if I can see anything.

LIAM: Roleplay this, Sam.

SAM: Fiber. No movement yet.

MATT: As you concentrate and close your eyes, you take a moment to connect with that one moment in Greyskull Keep, above the kitchen where you had left your last present.

SAM: It’s a gift to the world, really.

MATT: This being relatively early morning on this part of the countryside, you do look in and you see that there is part of a breakfast being cooked for whoever’s running the guard time-portion that part of the morning. Currently, nothing else catching your attention.

TRAVIS: Breakfast being cooked, seriously.

MARISHA: You guys want some pancakes and bacon?

TRAVIS: Deep-fried French toast, baby.

MATT: You do see Laina in there walk in and start cooking up some stuff and walk back out.

SAM: Oh, and she doesn’t look like she’s bleeding from the eyes?

MATT: No, she looks to be quite healthy and quite jovial, whistling a little tune, although you can’t hear it so well.

LAURA: Eskil Ryndarien was the one I was thinking of.

MATT: There you go, Eskil Ryndarien. That’s the one, yeah. The archmage in Westruun.

LIAM: Those notes are written on her Pathfinder sheet, tucked in.

MATT: That’ll come in real handy. All right, great.

SAM: How do we do this, Keyleth? And more importantly, how do we do it so that the bear doesn’t come with us?

MARISHA: The bear will probably be able to come with us. Sorry.

LIAM: Pick a fat tree.

TALIESIN: Well, we have a really big fat tree right in the town.

LIAM: After all that pie, Trinket’s a little wide in the haunches.

LAURA: He looks good.

MARISHA: He can fit through the Sun Tree, right?

MATT: The Sun Tree’s definitely a large enough tree to create the portal you can step through, yeah.

MARISHA: Let’s use the Sun Tree.

MATT: All right. So the rest of you guys gather towards the center of the town square in the middle of Whitestone. You approach the Sun Tree, and Keyleth, you step forward.

MARISHA: I say, hey boo. I’ll see you soon.

MATT: You hear the tree silently fist bump you through its arcane connection.

MARISHA: You be good, you take care of you, man.

MATT: You hear a voice whisper in the back of your mind, “You too, girl.”

MARISHA: This is the best tree of all time.

LIAM: Tolkien would be proud, Matt.

MATT: As you trace your fingers across the surface of the Sun Tree, its large, curled boughs now starting to sprout remnants of what looks to be fresh leaves. Where your fingers trace, the bark itself seems to glow with a bright vibrant yellowish-orange color. As you create a full oval shape that would fit most of your party, suddenly, there’s a sucking sound, and it’s like the bark is pulled into a distant doorway. And from what you can see, it’s almost like someone carved a tunnel through the Sun Tree that traverses for about 30 or so feet.

MARISHA: Are these cartoon physics?

MATT: Essentially.

LAURA: Yeah! We should go soon, though. Right?

MARISHA: Jump!

MATT: All of you guys come walking through it, and it is a short-term tunnel. Immediately, you can see the other side of it, and as you step through, you can already feel behind you the entrance closing. As you push through with Trinket and Grog pulling up the rear, you can feel the actual tunnel closing behind you. All of you come bursting out of the other side of one of the trees that is currently planted inside the temple to Sarenrae within Greyskull Keep, and as you all gather yourselves and hear the closing sound, the (sucking sound) of the doorway closing behind you, you glance about and you can see all the stained glass, the rosebushes that are well kept, there are a series of small wooden benches that are placed in a pattern, and behind you, you see currently wiping down the stone on the front of the temple is, in plain clothes, a sleepy-eyed, currently woken-up Pike.

LAURA: Pike!

ASHLEY: Hi!

SAM: What are you doing here?

MARISHA: Why are you sleeping outside? You have a bed upstairs!

ASHLEY: No, I do! I couldn’t sleep!

LAURA: I thought you were in Vasselheim!

MARISHA: How long have you been here? So many questions!

MATT: When you had heard the party was going to Whitestone, you were already in fear of what may lie there, knowing the history of Percy’s past and hearing bits here and there. You came to try and catch them before they left, but by the time you came to Emon, they had already been gone for quite some time.

LAURA: So you’ve been scrying to us the whole time from here?

ASHLEY: Yes!

LAURA: Why didn’t you say anything?

ASHLEY: I didn’t think to say anything.

MARISHA: We literally kicked it for a weekend and went to a festival. We could’ve come back.

ASHLEY: I know, but work needed to be done.

TRAVIS: So thoughtful, Pike! Oh, my best friend! She’s so thoughtful.

ASHLEY: So you guys made it out.

MARISHA: Yeah, thanks to you. (excited stammering) Did you feel our bag of dicks that we did? Were you aware of our bag of holy light dicks? That was an out-of-context thing.

ASHLEY: I don’t know what that is, but it sounds pretty fascinating.

MARISHA: Me and you teamed up, and we killed Lady Briarwood by–

ASHLEY: Oh yes, how could I forget!

MARISHA: Well, I didn’t know how aware you were, because your connection was fuzzy.

ASHLEY: Fully aware of the bag of dicks.

MARISHA: That was awesome!

ASHLEY: I totally spaced. Oh wow.

TALIESIN: Who taught you the phrase “bag of dicks?”

MARISHA: I read it in a book.

LAURA and ASHLEY: Hi.

TRAVIS: Bag of Richards.

ASHLEY: Bag of Richards?

LAURA: Have you seen the prisoner here?

ASHLEY: There’s a prisoner here?

MATT: You haven’t, actually, in the time you’ve been here.

ASHLEY: No, I haven’t. I’ve been cleaning. I’ve had such a need to clean.

TRAVIS: We actually need him for something. You want to come see him? Yeah, we’re protecting him. Let’s go. We run down.

MATT: As you guys head out of the temple, it leads you into the main foyer area. Stepping out into the foyer, you immediately hear a loud metal clang in the hallway around to your right.

ASHLEY: Is it my armor just falling over?

(laughter)

MATT: And you all immediately stop for a moment.

LAURA: Hello? What was that?

MATT: You hear some other rustling down at the edge of the hallway.

SAM: Are we on the top floor, or down where the–

MATT: You guys are in the foyer of the main temple’s base floor.

SAM: Okay. Pike, stay here. I’ll take care of this.

ASHLEY: Are you sure?

SAM: I was born sure.

ASHLEY: Okay.

SAM: I go forth to investigate.

MATT: Okay. Make a stealth check.

LIAM: As he walks down the stairs, I call out: don’t get caught, shithead.

SAM: Stealth?

MATT: Yes.

SAM: 18.

MATT: Okay. As you come around the corner into the main central hallway of the foyer you can see there is, to the right is the dining room area, and that’s closed, and you can smell the breakfast being cooked in the kitchen that’s far down to the right of the hallway. To the left is the arcane laboratory. The door is currently ajar, and you hear the rustling from the inside.

MARISHA: Aw, someone’s going through our shit.

SAM: I’m going in there to investigate. You know what? I’ll go invisible first, and then I’ll creep in.

MATT: Okay. All right, so. Your image dissipates and vanishes. As you tiptoe up and peek around the corner of the doorway, you can see now there’s a few small metallic instruments that have fallen to the ground, and you see a familiar humanoid red dragon-scaled individual who is currently picking up. (grumbling) “Confounded thing.” And puts it into a bag and starts tying it up and is currently packing up the laboratory.

SAM: I drop my invisibility and go over and give Tibsy a big hug.

MATT: Out of nowhere you, (startled grumbling) And pushes you away and grabs the staff and spins around.

SAM: It’s me! It’s me! Little, yellow, different! Me!

MATT: “You mustn’t sneak up on a Stormwind like that.”

SAM: I’m sorry, I just, it’s been so long and we’ve been through so much without you. I was overcome, I’m sorry. Friends, it’s all right! Pike, I cleared the danger!

ASHLEY: I go in. Hi Tibs!

MATT: As you guys walk in, you see Tiberius seems both surprised and keeping a composure element to him, his chin high. “Greetings and salutations, friends. I’d hoped I’d see you before heading out.”

LAURA: Heading out?

TALIESIN: Heading what?

MATT: “Well, I’ve spent a few weeks in Draconia trying to secure aid for us in Whitestone.”

SAM: Are you from Draconia?

MATT: “Indeed I am. But over these past few weeks I’ve been continuously balked by my father. By the time I had given up and came to join you, word found me of your victory. Thus, I instead remained here in Emon. I’ve had some time to think, being here on my own for the better part of a week now. I consider you all friends and fine warriors, mostly. I’ve enjoyed our travels together, I’ve learned much, and for that I thank you sincerely. However, my diplomatic mission has fallen to the wayside in these recent months, and while my personal mission to recover these artifacts has grown stagnant, as proven by my time in Draconia, I have still yet to gain the respect of my family. I feel that the path of Vox Machina and the path of Tiberius Stormwind haven’t been aligned for some time. In hearing about your victory with the Stormwinds– oh, that’s me– your victory with the Briarwoods, made me think that while I was sure that you all needed me to protect you, I may have underestimated you all. Perhaps you are quite capable without a Stormwind. And perhaps I am more capable on my own pursuits, with no distractions. I respect you all very deeply, and hope to continue to hear of your exploits across Tal'Dorei, but I think it is time–” And he takes his staff and smacks it on the ground and picks up his bag of things. “I think it is time this dragonborn carved his own path.”

LIAM: You must leave immediately?

MATT: “I’ve been packing for a few days, as you know.”

LAURA: I go up and hug him, and say: what would you like us to tell Uriel? I know they are wanting you in court.

MATT: “The politics of these strange human kingdoms don’t really affect me. At least I figure you’ve got this taken care of, and you’ll speak in my name, of course, right, right?”

LAURA: Of course.

MATT: “Of course. So. Don’t mess that up.”

LAURA: Of course not, darling.

MATT: “At the time they’d even come to find me, I’m sure the name would be cleared.”

LIAM: I come out behind my sister and I take him by the hand and I say: Tiberius, your friendship was always valued here. I don’t think we’d be standing here without you.

MATT: “That’s true.”

LIAM: I will never forget you.

MATT: “As I shall never forget all of you.” And you can see for a second there’s a little tear cresting in his nose, and he like, “Dust. You know that, of course.” He looks around, takes a moment.

SAM: Speaking as a man who has also had a romantic interest in ladies before– are there any romantic messages you’d like me to pass on for you to anyone in this town? Or others.

MATT: “You? No.”

(laughter)

MATT: He turns to Keyleth, and takes Keyleth and goes, “If you see her, tell Allura I’m sorry. But she’s always welcome to visit me in Draconia.”

MARISHA: I will. Bye, Tibsy. I give him a hug.

MATT: He pats you on the shoulder. “I’m very terrible at goodbyes, so–” He steps back. “Goodbye.” Flicks his wrist and you can see an already prepared teleportation circle in the room flash with blue runes as his image, waving towards you, scatters into nothing.

SAM: Shit.

MATT: The runes die down to a cold magicless circle.

LIAM: Safe travels, Stormwind.

SAM: Well, shit.

LIAM: Said the S.H.I.T.s.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Did he leave us anything?

SAM: Grog.

TRAVIS: What?

SAM: Come on. Maybe we should check his room just in case.

TRAVIS: That’s what I’m saying! Oh, we have a prisoner downstairs, though.

TALIESIN: Oh god, that’s right.

ASHLEY: Yes, yes, yes.

TRAVIS: We run down to the prison cell.

LAURA: I stay and walk around his room a little bit.

MATT: Okay. As the rest of you head down, you find your way to the basement where your workshop is, and there, sitting in a chair, currently eating a small steel platter of breakfast, is Jarett, who looks up immediately as you walk in and says, (laughs) “Good morning to all of you! It has been quite some time since we’ve spoken. I am glad to see that you’re well and in one piece. Everything here has been fine.” And he points back to, you can see on the bed that was dragged down into the prison cell. Oh, no, I think it was actually dragged away.

TRAVIS: Dragged back out.

MATT: Dragged back out. See within the cell is the small boy from Whitestone who’s also now eating off his own small platter as well, and his eyes light up, mouth full of eggs. (muffled talking) He seems to be fine and in good health.

TRAVIS: Any other attacks on the castle while we were gone?

LIAM: Yes, how did you fare?

MATT: “There were no other attacks as far as I know, we kept a very very close eye, and for a while we had a fine elemental protector from, with help here from Lady Keyleth.”

MARISHA: Yes, how did that work? Just curious, because he was kind of a test run.

MATT: “Yeah, very unsettling, to be perfectly honest. ”

MARISHA: Oh good, good. That’s what I was going for.

MATT: “Yeah, I don’t feel comfortable with haphazardly tethered creatures from other realms. It historically has gone very poorly, so it was good to know that nothing bad terribly happens.”

MARISHA: Sure! Awesome.

TALIESIN: Well, the good news is, we can let you go. You’re free and clear, the Briarwoods will not be a problem anymore, and Whitestone is rather pleasant at the moment.

TRAVIS: He’s not free and clear.

SAM: He’s got to come with us to testify.

TALIESIN: Oh, that’s right, I suppose there is the matter of testimony.

LAURA: I come down the stairs at this point.

TALIESIN: But we can open the cell, at the very least.

LAURA: Yeah, why is he still in that cell?

TALIESIN: For his own protection, but that’s hardly a matter anymore.

MARISHA: Right, remember, we were going to let him stay him the guest room, but he was like, I’m going to stay– MATT: Jarrett steps aside and starts opening the cell as the boy finishes swallowing his eggs and sits up.

LIAM: Boy, what was your name again?

MATT: Waiting to see if she has it in her notes.

MARISHA: Well, I mean, I’ll find it.

SAM: I’ve got it, I’ve got it somewhere.

MARISHA: It’s in my old notebook.

MATT: Always fun to test these things.

LIAM: I mean, I asked you a direct question. But that’s all right.

LAURA: (singing) His name was Lola–

MATT: (singing) If I recall, it begins with a ’D.’

TRAVIS: Dante. Dmitri. Damien. Dingleberry. Darren. Dane. Dylan?

LIAM: Matthew Mercer.

MATT: Technically.

SAM: Earthbreaker Groon. Arbiter Brom. Ben Klauss.

LIAM: Anemone Tea.

LAURA: Desmond. Desmond? Desmond!

MATT: I knew one of you wrote it down.

LAURA: Desmond, I had it right here, right there. Desmond.

MATT: Desmond goes, “It’s over? The Briarwoods are no more?”

TALIESIN: Yes. All taken care of.

MATT: And you visually see a weight off his shoulders. He seems to shrink almost three inches from just the full exhale of his body, and a little bit of tears well up in his eyes and he says, “Whitestone? Does it still stand?”

LAURA: It’s beautiful. And growing.

MATT: “I can’t wait to get back.”

LAURA: Desmond, dear?

MATT: “Yes?”

LAURA: Before you do, could we ask a small favor of you?

MATT: “Of course. You kept me safe, you saved me. Most of me.”

LAURA: Would you mind speaking on our behalf to Emperor Uriel? Emperor? Sovereign Uriel. That’d be great. That’d just be wonderful.

MATT: “Of course, I’d be happy to, it’d be my pleasure.”

LAURA: Thank you. And you can, you know, come out of the cell and eat with us, now.

MATT: “Great.” And he goes and off the little stone slab there he pulls his platter, which is already half-eaten, and eagerly walks up holding it with you, expectantly.

LAURA: Oh, right now! Sure, let’s go then.

TRAVIS: Oh, let me carry your plate for you. And I start eating his food.

MATT: Okay. He doesn’t notice, he’s too excited. You guys make your way back up to the dining room area, and it’s at that time that you see, coming down the hall, Laina. Turns around the corner and goes, “Pike?”

ASHLEY: Hi! There’s more of us now!

MATT: “Oh, goodness me, look, everyone’s returned! That’s wonderful, it’s so good to see all of you.”

LAURA: Good to see you too.

LIAM: You’ve kept the house in order. Good job, thank you.

MATT: “I’ve done my best. I’m so excited to see that you’re all well. You don’t look very well fed. I can fix that. Come on, this way.”

TRAVIS: Brilliant. Brilliant.

MATT: “I’ve just gotta make a little bit more, but first course is coming! Please, please.” And she opens the doors and leads you guys in the dining area. You all sit down, Desmond joins you, and she comes back and begins to prepare the rest of the meal for you over the next half-hour or so. While you dined on some really, really fine Whitestone food while you were enjoying the fruits of the Winter’s Crest festival, it is nice to have a home-cooked meal for a while.

LIAM: Traditional Emon breakfast.

LAURA: Eggs, baked beans–

LIAM: Yeah, fried tomato. Yeah, blood sausage.

SAM: Huevos rancheros.

(laughter)

LIAM: You dick.

MATT: All right. So you finished your meal, what is your next order of business?

MARISHA: What’s today? What day is it?

LAURA: Are there days of the week? What is a weekend?

MARISHA: Yeah, there’s days of the week.

SAM: What is this world? How does time work here?

MATT: There are days of the week, I’m not gonna go into the specifics of it because I’m working on it. This question hasn’t really arisen before and I probably should figure that out. It’s the equivalent of a Thursday.

SAM: It’s always Thursday.

TALIESIN: So it’s not hump day but we’re not quite waiting for the weekend yet?

TRAVIS: Hump day!

TALIESIN: Oh, Grog. By the way.

TRAVIS: Yeah? Shit.

TALIESIN: Did you think I’d forget?

TRAVIS: I throw him a gold coin.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

SAM: What’s that for?

TRAVIS: I thought Kibble would be dead, but he’s alive.

SAM: Who?

LAURA and LIAM: Desmond.

TRAVIS: Oh, Desmond.

ASHLEY: You call him Kibble?

MATT: “What?”

LAURA: Oh, we were just saying how well you look.

MATT: “Okay.”

TRAVIS: Yeah, keep eating, Kibble.

MATT: He just continues finishing.

TALIESIN: If he dies, you don’t get the gold coin back.

TRAVIS: Fuck.

SAM: How is his hand doing?

MATT: Missing.

SAM: I mean, is it okay, there’s no gangrene?

MATT: No, it was properly dressed and has been changed as time went on while you guys were gone.

LAURA: Pike, no Pike didn’t know he was here.

LIAM: Yeah, that’s unfortunate.

MARISHA: She didn’t go downstairs.

ASHLEY: I didn’t, I just didn’t need to go down there.

LIAM: But there it is, right in front of you, all red and swollen, gross.

LAURA: No, it’s fine.

ASHLEY: How’s his hand? How’s your hand, Desmond?

LIAM: Can you do this? Can you do this, Desmond?

MATT: Crying into his eggs.

LAURA: Oh no.

MARISHA: That’s mean, that’s mean.

MATT: You’re terrible.

TRAVIS: Him and little boys, man.

LAURA: I thought Desmond was like a teenager. Is he, how young is he?

LIAM: Yeah, I did too.

MATT: Oh no, he’s like close to 18, 19.

LIAM: Oh, there we go, a kid.

TRAVIS: Impressionable. Formative years.

SAM: Of age.

TRAVIS: Of age.

ASHLEY: Is his hand gone?

MATT: He’s missing most of his fingers and a large part of the upper part of the hand is missing. Yeah, it’s bandaged over, and he’s still able to kind of use part of the thumb.

TALIESIN: I had a really bad day. I had a really bad day.

ASHLEY: Can I try doing a little healing?

TALIESIN: I was possessed by an evil smoke demon.

ASHLEY: Might as well. Get the dice rolling.

SAM: Oh, Pike! Everyone stand back, my lady’s going to do something.

TALIESIN: She’s going to try and undo some of my poor decision-making.

LAURA: Can you grow back his digits?

TRAVIS: No, I don’t think so.

ASHLEY: What happened?

TRAVIS: Tell the truth.

TALIESIN: That’s a good question.

LIAM: I think Whitestone owes this boy a little coin.

TALIESIN: I would agree. Perhaps send him, I will send him–

SAM: Well, after his testimony, should it prove to be valuable.

MARISHA: How much coin did we pull out of the treasury of Whitestone?

LAURA: How about we don’t talk about this in front of other people?

TRAVIS: I could give him one of the expensive bottles of wine.

TALIESIN: How about I send him with a letter making sure that he is well-employed.

LAURA: I think that is a beautiful, beautiful gesture.

SAM: We should solve all of our problems with letters from now on.

TALIESIN: If people would just learn, oh never mind.

LIAM: Percival. Coin.

LAURA: No.

LIAM: Yes.

SAM: How about after the testimony? He hasn’t fulfilled his duty.

LIAM: Fine. Fine.

TALIESIN: I’m not sure what the price tag on a–

ASHLEY: Can I try Lesser Restoration?

LIAM: Somewhat higher than zero.

TALIESIN: Yes.

MATT: Restoration is more of a, restoration is more of a removal of impairments to, on like the whole, like curses, charms, things that affect their body and mind wholly. Current, you know, like that. What you’re looking for is more of a very minor regeneration, which I would allow to a very small extent with a high-powered heal.

LIAM: You just blow in his thumb and all the fingers go–

LAURA: I mean, you grew one of Liam’s, Vax’s toes back.

LIAM: That took a long time, though.

TRAVIS: But we really care about Vax, and this guy can look down at his hand and remember the time that he worked for some shitty vampires. We leave it be.

MATT: What do you wanna do, Pike?

SAM: Has he stabilized, is he stable?

ASHLEY: I want to try healing him a little bit.

MATT: Okay, so what level Cure Wounds you want to do?

ASHLEY: Let’s do two.

MATT: All right, go ahead for a level two Cure Wounds.

SAM: Can I inspire her healing?

MATT: You can, actually, ‘cause I’m gonna have a wisdom check from her in a moment as part of that.

SAM: All right. I’m going to inspire her with a limerick.

ALL: Ooh!

MATT: 2d8 plus five.

LIAM: O'Brien approves.

SAM: There once was a gnome from Emon, who sang a scandalous song, the ladies would swoon, at his rather large tune, and say “My, it’s impossibly long.”

(laughter)

LAURA: That’s beautiful.

ASHLEY: Wow, that was so inspiring. 15.

MATT: Okay, so you heal 15 points, that’s good. Go ahead and roll a d20, add your wisdom modifier which I think is plus five, and then add another d10 to that because of his inspiration.

TRAVIS: Natural–

LAURA: – 20!

MATT: Roll a d10 just to add on to it, see how–

MARISHA: You got a 20?

SAM: This guy’s gonna get a brand-new hand!

ASHLEY: Three hands! Four.

MATT: Okay. So as part of the healing, as you take his hand, you pull the bandages off, and you can still see the wounds are scabbed over, and it’s healing but it’s healing over. As you concentrate for a moment, close your eyes, you can see the symbol of Sarenrae and that glows for a moment, and that healing energy transfers down your arms to your forearms, to your fingertips, and into the wound. And his hand begins to give off its own radiant energy. He freaks out and backs up for a second, but you–

ASHLEY: It’s okay.

MATT: – keep his hand there, calm him down. As the light fades, you can see the wound itself is now closed over entirely, and the part where he can only partially use his thumb and his finger, that section has completely healed over and both his thumb and his pinky finger are complete now. And can be used to grab.

ASHLEY: Like a claw, like a crab.

MATT: But it’s functional! There you go.

ASHLEY: Hang loose, buddy!

SAM: He’s got shaka hand.

LAURA: That’s awesome!

MATT: Much more useful.

LAURA: And it doesn’t hurt anymore.

MATT: Nope. No longer needs any dressing whatsoever.

SAM: Nicely done, Pike! Wow.

LIAM: Coin, Percival, coin.

LAURA: Stop telling him what to give him.

LIAM: You shut up.

TALIESIN: I’m going to make my sister pay.

LAURA: Yes, see. And that way, dear brother, he won’t be on the road with lots of gold in his pocket to get stolen.

SAM: Oh yes, we’re looking out for his better interests.

LIAM: You are so caring.

TALIESIN: And I should also mention I don’t have any money at the moment, so this is also–

LAURA: That’s why we have that fabulous crystal.

TALIESIN: I gave your sister all my money. I did!

LAURA: Long time ago.

TALIESIN: Well, it was a long time ago, but it was all my money.

TRAVIS: About what time is it?

LIAM: This conversation is now making me uncomfortable.

MATT: 10:00 or 11:00 in the morning?

SAM: Should we go in to meet our jury?

LAURA: Oh god. Wait, can I just ask, because we had three days and I didn’t check on it, I had that jewelry box that we stole from the Tylieri house?

MATT: Yes.

LAURA: I didn’t ever look in it. Because we just took it and set it aside. And I have this whole thing of jewelry. And I also have a bloody bag of gold and a bag of gems that I never checked in on.

MARISHA: Maybe we can just hand over the bloody bag of gold to Desmond.

SAM: Well, let’s look at it first.

MATT: The bloody bag of gold, sifting through it, it contains the equivalent of 230 gold pieces.

LAURA: All right.

MATT: The bag of gems, it’s a few semi-precious stones, but then there are a couple of well-carved sapphires, emeralds, couple of nice gems. The overall worth of that bag probably comes to about 1,200 gold.

LAURA: Awesome! And then the jewelry box?

MATT: The jewelry box has largely gold rings, a few gold earrings, the overall worth of the jewelry in there from what you can ascertain given the time that you were spending with it and your experience with having to hock and pawn things that you’ve acquired over your travels, you could probably sell everything in the jewelry box for about 150 gold.

LAURA: Is any of it, you know, magical?

MATT: No, there are no magical implements of it. It is purely just a jewelry box for Tylieri’s own collection.

LAURA: I’m keeping the jewelry box, ‘cause I want it.

MATT: Okay. It is a nice jewelry box.

LAURA: And I’ll add the 150 to our party funds. Because I’m generous.

LIAM: Your greed is endearing.

TALIESIN: I think so.

LAURA: All right, yeah, let’s go to court.

MARISHA: We have our, who has our papers?

LAURA: Scanlan had them.

SAM: I have some papers.

LIAM: Yes, our diplomat.

MARISHA: Bust out the mustache?

LAURA: Oh wait, wait, did we send anybody ahead with our letters?

LIAM: Yeah, I mean, it’s probably fine, but I really don’t think we should walk up, just in case.

TALIESIN: I’ll do it.

LAURA: Yeah, he’s, you know.

TALIESIN: It’s my problem, on a certain level.

TRAVIS: I’ll go with you.

SAM: What do you mean, you don’t want to walk up to the palace?

LIAM: The last time we saw Uriel, he was rather awful to us, and I think he’s probably fine after we took out the Briarwoods, I think, but I’m not a hundred percent sure and I like my head on its shoulders.

MARISHA: You think he would go that far?

LAURA: Potentially. We did leave town.

LIAM: I don’t know, it’s an unknown quantity.

TALIESIN: Well, I have some heavy lifting on my shoulders, I’ll take a bit of it on now.

LAURA: All right. We’ll just follow behind him and stay at a distance.

TRAVIS: I’ll go with him.

MATT: So Percy and Grog will helm the walk and the rest of you will stay back at a distance and keep a close eye. You guys make your way into Emon, and the first thing you notice is, as it was recently Winter’s Crest, a lot of the decorations are still up. You see streamers and ribbons of white and blue throughout the city, elements of confetti that are still being cleaned up off the streets. It is a busy day, being midweek and about noon-time, so it’s also nice to be back home where you can hear the classic sound of hoofs clopping on the cobblestone, the shouting of different individuals across the thoroughfare, and you make your way towards the center of the Cloudtop District. As you guys approach the main gate, the guards immediately step in front and as you two approach, “Halt, there! Have you business here in the Cloudtop?” And he looks over at you and goes, “You’re Vox Machina. You’re not allowed in here, and I’d like to know your business, please.”

TALIESIN: We’re here to seek an audience, and we would be more than happy to have an escort. This is an audience that the king is going to wish to take.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

LIAM: C'mon, snitch.

TALIESIN: Better. 21.

MATT: Okay. Looks at the both of you, looks past and sees the rest of the group a little ways back, looks at the guard companion at the front of the gate, and goes, “That can be arranged, just no funny business. The moment you do, this entire district’s gonna be down on your head.”

TALIESIN: We have no intention of anything funny.

MATT: “Good, good.” He puts his thumb up, and you hear the chains (rattling) and the portcullis begins to lift that leads into the central area of the Cloudtop District. You guys step back into the familiar area, the streets here much cleaner, the cobblestone much fresher– this is where the more upper-class and elite of Emon stay, live, and keep most of their business. You make your way through with the two guards flanking you guys, and you can see four more coming down from nearby parts of the wall, and flank you guys from the back to make sure that you’re encased and taken care of. As you walk through the streets, what turned out to be an arrival is almost a procession, as individuals are now coming out and seeing this group of you guys walking through the street and peek out. Some of the local nobles and such, some seem to recognize you and go “Oh!” and dart back in. There was a woman you spoke to a couple years ago, it was an older, spinster-type woman who was planning a wedding for her daughter. She waves for a second and goes to talk to you guys real fast, and then one of the guards raises a pike towards her and goes “Mmm.”

TALIESIN: Later, later. It’s going to be fine.

MATT: “All right, hmm.” She walks back off. “Curious.” You are led past the Citrine Garrison, through the central palace, up the front steps that lead to the doorway, the gates that are currently opened. You are led into the central foyer chamber of the central palace, and as you are brought to that point, you can immediately see the guards on the inside step forward and have a whispering conversation with the gentleman–

LAURA: I can read lips.

MATT: You can.

LAURA: What do they say?

TALIESIN: Touché.

MATT: The conversation entails: “Vox Machina has returned to Emon. They are requesting an audience with Uriel.” The other guard says: “Last bit of documentation we’ve received was they were to be arrested on sight.” The first says: “I know, I know, but Uriel rescinded that recently. He said if they show up to bring them in. They don’t seem to be aggressive at all. If they’re now going to do anything stupid we could just kill them here, so they know better than to do anything stupid.” The other guard person goes: “You’re right, but I’ve seen what they can do. Bring out whoever you have on shift.” And as they step away, “This way, please!” and you can see the guard that was with you splinters off from the rest of the party and as you guys walk down the hallway, a few moments later, about 20 guards begin to come out from the nearby hallways, and follow behind you. And it–

LIAM: I see a guard I recognize and I go: “Oh, I got my snake!”

MATT: And he goes: “Oh, ha, yeah, good.” And another guy pats him on the shoulder and he puts his spear back in place.

TRAVIS: See, everything’s fine, it’s a lovely welcoming party.

LIAM: I’m thoroughly impressed.

MATT: The throne doors open, entering the skylight– the noonday sun now pouring beams of light into the central chamber. You can see, stepping towards the central dais is Uriel Tal'Dorei, who has not been there previously, and apparently has been recently summoned to the chamber through your arrival. As he steps up and sits in his chair, he notices you guys entering with the guards, and nods his head for a moment and looks off to the side, and approaching him to join him on top of the platform is Seeker Asum, who apparently has returned, with his shaven halfling head, with his tattoos on the side, and Arbiter Brom, the cleric of Ioun who oversaw part of your guys’ initial trial here in the castle chambers–

LAURA: Ooh, yeah, yeah, he was under their control, I think.

MATT: And then after them, you see Guardian Tofor Brotorus, who is the silver-scaled female dragonborn, who is currently the head of the town’s guard.

MARISHA: Tofor, what was her last name?

MATT: Brotorus.

LAURA: Man, I need to organize my notes better. Got it all written down somewhere.

MARISHA: So this is essentially our jury? Judge? Judgment party?

MATT: It’s most of it, from the last time you guys were here, yeah. As you guys are brought forward, the guards stop, and let you continue the rest of your pathway forward, you step up to the–

TALIESIN: I step up.

MATT: Okay, is Percival the only one that’s gonna step up?

TRAVIS: I stay with him.

LAURA: Wait, what are you doing?

TALIESIN: I’m stepping up.

LAURA: I’ll step up behind you.

LIAM: I pull her a little further along with me, and we step up.

MATT: As those of you who wish to then step up to the front of the dais, Uriel sits up and puts his hand out to tell you to stop where you are.

TALIESIN: I genuflect.

LAURA: I follow suit.

MATT: He waves his hand. “It’s all right, don’t worry.” And he puts his hands together like this, and he seems very thoughtful for a moment, and the silence that pierces the room leaves this underlying tension, this awkward bit of wondering. This build of tension begins to fill the room before he goes: “First and foremost, I owe each and every one of you the deepest apologies. I’ve only recently cleared my head of a cloud of poor judgment, one that apparently wasn’t one of my own making.” And you can see, he looks genuinely distraught. There’s bags under his eyes a little bit, like he hasn’t been sleeping well, and you can see one of the servants go: “Shall we bring Salda?” He says: “No, no, it’s all right. When last we spoke, we had a trial, many things that were brought to our attention. In the time of your absence, in hoping that you would find means of absolving yourselves of these charges, Seeker Asum here traveled out about to Wildemount to do his own bit of informatory gathering. He returned about a week ago, and just as I was attempting to sort out this haze– Asum, if you would please.” And he rests his hands for a second, and Asum steps forward and puts his hood back and closes his hands before him. “First of all, a gracious welcome to you, Vox Machina and friends. I did my digging in Wildemount, specifically Wynandir and "Port Damali, near the southwest coast of the Shearing Channel. Inquiries by myself and my gatherers before me revealed that the Briarwoods, while once respected in that community, had been accused of necromancy about six years before, a practice that had long been outlawed in Wildemount. Their estate and all lands were to be seized by King Dwendal, but the Briarwoods were officially killed when their homestead was burned by a mob.”

SAM: By what?

MATT: “By a mob. All official documentation in Wildemount on the Briarwoods was set in this day, and that we the end of their line. However, this information was kept from ever making its way across the shore, as there isn’t a lot of business between Wildemount and Emon. Upon doing more digging, in Port Damali, months later, it seemed that individuals matching their appearance appeared briefly within the Port, where they bought a ship and hired a crew. Now there was no political knowledge in Wildemount, or any approval of a bridge being built, either. This announcement from the Briarwoods, whom had previously been silent, came about the time that I’d sent two of my gatherers to look around, and never returned. I theorized that this entire presentation to Emon, and these political handshakes, were a means to avoid suspicion. I don’t know what to, or to what means, but the timing seemed a bit conspicuous to me. Those were my findings in Wildemount, and based on our last discussion, it appears that Lord Briarwood seemed to contain some semblance of mind-affecting prowess. I myself befell to it, as did our Sovereign here. Thankfully, it came to its end recently.” And you can see there’s a nod and a deep sigh of guilt that emanates from Uriel. Anyway, that is the gist of my findings while you were off in Whitestone. Sovereign.” And he steps back, and Uriel raises his head, leaning forward with his elbows on the edge of his knees, still sitting on his throne. “It’s also been brought to my attention that the attack within my walls was indeed instigated by the Briarwoods themselves, and that Sylas is vampiric in nature. This is the influence that clouded me. This is twice now that I have found myself, in spite of all of my protections and intents to defend this city, that I have fallen prey to the wills and whims of some infernal intent. And that is not a way to breed respect or trust in one’s leader. I have a lot to think about. Regardless, let it stand that as of this moment, Vox Machina is immediately returned to their place on the council, and all charges against them dropped.”

TRAVIS: Yeah! Sorry.

MATT: “So. We’ve also received a bit of word that you were successful in returning Whitestone to some semblance of new order. Please, if you would.”

TALIESIN: If you would, your majesty, yes, first of all Whitestone is once again ruled by the de Rolo family.

MATT: “It is good to know.”

TALIESIN: And I must also, at this point, offer our own apologies which are in order. While there was a supernatural flame of distrust in your heart, it couldn’t have been ignited without the embers of our own rash judgements, and poor choices. It is difficult for men of action to necessarily pay attention to the smaller details of their world and their realities, and for this we do apologize. I wish I could say it would be the last of it, but again, it is a difficult world, and we are prone to action, and for that you have our apologies. I would also offer, my lord, that perhaps these infernal powers are attracted by your innate goodness, and that would be worth meditating upon.

MATT: “I appreciate your counsel, Percival. (sighs) Well, if there is the de Rolos still in rule, then are you to return to Whitestone?”

TALIESIN: I am not. There is another de Rolo. The Briarwoods were sloppy in their extermination of my line and family. Cassandra de Rolo now rules, along with a–

SAM: Triumvirate?

TALIESIN: Triumvirate, I suppose?

SAM: Council?

TALIESIN: Council of leaders pushing to build the economy once again, in that sense I’m sure they would be delighted by the opening of trade, and perhaps continuing with the plans for a bridge. Worth discussing at the very least with the new rulers of Whitestone.

MATT: “We will, very much, endeavor to extend as much aid as we can to the rebuilding of Whitestone. As to the bridge, this may be more of a matter of us working with the powers of Wildemount, as we were under the impression that that was being handled by the Briarwoods. But we shall pursue this, as this would still be a great boon to our countryside. Well, thank you, thank you for coming.”

SAM: Excuse me, Sovereign Uriel, perhaps I’m speaking out of turn here, and I haven’t consulted with my fellows here, but you did mention that you’ve been mind-controlled twice now, and as council members, this doesn’t sit well, and–

MATT: “I understand.”

SAM: Well, what are we to do? The security that you have in place clearly hasn’t worked. Is there a role that we can serve to ensure that you will be further protected?

LIAM: If I may, Vox Machina would not be here today without the aid and advice of Lady Allura, and I would like to personally testify on her behalf of her ability and her wisdom, and her heart. I feel she has a great place in this city, and you should put great trust in her, specifically. She will do much good by you, Sovereign.

LAURA: Plus they may be able to enchant your crown so it has some, you know, special mind-control fighting abilities.

SAM: She’s spit-balling here, it doesn’t have to be that.

LAURA: Just, you know, throwing out some ideas. That’s all.

TRAVIS: That could be nice. Yeah.

MATT: “This is being looked into, as previously was thought that such an enchantment was already provided. It appears the magic went inert, and a re-enchantment is being looked into. And your advisement on Allura’s great deal of respect, influence, has been noted, as it has for the entirety of her length here as part of the council. When she returns from Whitestone, I intend to see that she is properly rewarded and regarded in this forum.”

LIAM: My mother would have said she is a good egg.

MATT: “That she is. That she is.”

TRAVIS: Should we hand over the rest of our–

SAM: Evidence? Documents for the archives. We did collect quite a bit of paperwork, and documentation that would fill in any of the gaps in the history of Whitestone, and–

MATT: He leans forward and puts his hand out. “Please, anything–”

SAM: Of course, we gathered this from the palace in Whitestone.

MATT: Thumbing through the paperwork. “It’s not– Asum.” He hands it over and Asum takes a moment of quiet to himself to thumb through, and he’s very carefully inspecting and looking about the edges.

LAURA: Are you looking for something specific?

MATT: “I’m currently confirming handwriting. One that I deal with quite often.”

LAURA: Oh, yes, actually, that is something we discovered on our own.

MATT: “My liege, these papers do appear to be genuine, and that does indeed appear to be the handwriting of Riskel Daxio.”

MARISHA: Yeah, sorry.

MATT: Uriel takes the papers back and, “It’s not– he’s been at my side since I was young. His father, Mikael, helms our forces at Fort Daxio. Guards! Find and seize Riskel Daxio at once.” The guards immediately go to action, bringing their weapons and scattering outside of the throne room. You can hear the clanging of footsteps, heavy footfalls, and weapons and shields banging as they start just scattering about the entire palace around you.

TRAVIS: Hate to be him right now.

SAM: Did you just say that there’s a fort somewhere?

MARISHA: Fort Daxio?

MATT: “Fort Daxio. It’s our northern military post. It’s by the Cliffkeep Mountains. Lots of very dangerous things reside up there, giant creatures, and he holds the border. He’s the adopted father of Riskel, not his actual–”

SAM: But any connection to this traitor may– it may be dangerous for him to be in command up there. This whole place could be a risk.

MATT: “I shall look into it. They haven’t spoken in quite a long time, and as far as I know there wasn’t a lot of love between the two. Besides, Mikael is not at the Fort right now, Mikael is down in Syngorn on a diplomatic military mission.”

TALIESIN: Your majesty, I know well the betrayal you feel, and I urge caution.

MATT: “Caution it is.”

TRAVIS: Don’t forget about Kibble.

LAURA: Oh, that’s right, I guess we don’t need him to testify–

SAM: Well we should bring him out just to, just 'cause– Otherwise he just sat around for nothing.

MATT: You look behind and Desmond is standing behind you all, wide-eyed and so confused and overwhelmed by everything that’s happening, and just eagerly awaiting for you to fill him in–

TALIESIN: This young man was an unfortunate victim of my wrath when the Briarwoods visited. He is a citizen of Whitestone, and–

MATT: “Yes, yes I was told of this, the carriage-man that you had attacked.”

TALIESIN: I would like to have him be the official letter carrier for any– the first set of correspondence to the new rulers of Whitecastle, so since he–

SAM: Stone.

TALIESIN: Whitestone. My god, I’m hungry.

LIAM: Oh no! So if you could send an order of sliders–

TALIESIN: About 12.

MARISHA: Don’t forget the mustard.

TALIESIN: I’m coming up with this shit. It’s not easy.

TRAVIS: Might need some gut healing after those.

TALIESIN: I know. Constitution roll.

(fart noise)

TALIESIN: Would it be reasonable to appoint him as our first correspondence messenger, since he must return home at the very least?

MATT: “Yes. I would still wish to send him with a few of our trusted soldiers to keep him safe. The roads are not safe between here and Whitestone in general, and I mean no offense to you, young sir, but you don’t look able with a weapon.”

LAURA: Especially not against harpies.

TALIESIN: I should also mention that my lineage has now been restored to me, and I am now of royal descent once again. And so, again, with my companions’ permission, and we will discuss this in the future, but I would like to put forward the beginnings of the proper paperwork to perhaps have Greyskull Keep designated as an embassy, with all the privileges and rights that that presumes.

ASHLEY: What does that mean?

MATT: “That could, no, that will be arranged.”

TALIESIN: I will confer with my peers.

LIAM: You’re on Whitestone soil.

SAM: Before we give Desmond his appointment as a royal messenger, which I guess he is, would the kingdom– he risked much to keep himself alive and possibly to testify on our behalf– would the kingdom be willing to give him a quick little reward for his time spent in captivity?

MATT: Make a persuasion roll.

SAM: Not great. 24.

MATT: Not great.

TRAVIS: Yeah, come on.

MATT: He gives a nod and looks to Desmond. “Certainly. It’s only fair. You’ve travelled this far and undergone much personal difficulty in aiding us and relieving this darkness in our territory, and yours as well. I would like to grant upon him by my estate as Sovereign Uriel a granted gift of 1,000 gold pieces to be sent on his way.”

SAM: That’s more than what we would’ve done by far!

MATT: Desmond’s like: “I-I–”

SAM: Don’t faint!

MARISHA: Don’t spend it all in one place, bruh.

TALIESIN: Desmond? The debt that I owe you is larger than coin, and is–

MATT: “That’s a lot of coins, huh?”

TALIESIN: And it’s ongoing, so if you can think of how– what sort of trade you would like to spend your next years of life pursuing, whether it be in–

LAURA: Probably not lute-playing, I’m gonna just throw that out there.

TRAVIS: (laughs) Wow. Fucking cold.

TALIESIN: Drums it is! Drums it is.

TRAVIS: Holy shit.

TALIESIN: You are a terrible person. I’m a terrible person, but you’re the worst.

TRAVIS: Even I am taken aback. My jaw is just open like: (gasps).

MATT: There’s an awkward tense pause for a moment as everyone looks over to Vex, including Uriel. Seeker Asum stifles a chuckle.

LIAM: Do you know what’s amazing, Sovereign, is that Vex'ahlia and Percival were just talking earlier today and they promised each other to match whatever you offered this boy, and I am amazed at their generosity and kindness–

LAURA: I walk rocks hand him, on the back of his arm, just like that.

MATT: Uriel nods, “That is generous.” At which point, two–

TALIESIN: Whatever work you would wish, Desmond, is available to you.

MATT: Two guards rush in at this point, and whisper something into his ear, which, Vex, you see their lips moving, as that’s what you can do. The verbiage comes across as– actually, no.

SAM: Oh! Oh oh! The first whisper of 2016!

TALIESIN: Breaking in the new year!

MARISHA: Watch the flask.

LIAM: “I’m making this up as I go! I don’t know what I’m doing.”

TALIESIN: “Look surprised!”

SAM: “I’m a fraud!”

TALIESIN: “I’ve got a reddit page open behind my DM screen.”

MATT: Okay! Climbing over a camera. So Uriel’s eyes go wide for a moment, nods. “All right.” The guards rush back off, and, “Well, if there’s anything else, I believe this concludes our business.”

LAURA: Of course.

SAM: Is there anything else we need or require?

TALIESIN: I think we’re perfectly well-suited for now.

LIAM: Is Desmond off to Whitestone?

MATT: Desmond nods. “I imagine so.”

LIAM: Oh, Vex'ahlia, you’d best give him that 1,000 gold now–

LAURA: I would right now, but I don’t have any on me, how crazy is that?

TRAVIS: Oh that is such a shame, I know, I almost thought about reminding you to bring your extra–

TALIESIN: Since I am also gold-poor, I’m writing it into the letter to my sister that we owe money, that they are to employ him in any way he sees fit.

MATT: An individual of the Court has just come up and handed him a sack of gold coins and he hasn’t even– he’s not listening to you.

LAURA: Hide it around. Put some in your shorts, put some in your shoes–

TRAVIS: Yeah, tuck it down by your nuts, eh?

MATT: He puts some down the front of his pants and pulls his little belt tight. “I-I, um–”

TRAVIS: Keeps it safe, makes a lady take a double look.

TALIESIN: I also made sure in the letter that they know that he is returning to Whitestone with this money, so that if he, somehow– if it’s mismanaged by any of the guards or otherwise that it will be taken care of.

MATT: He is escorted by two of the guards to his temporary chambers here at the palace.

LAURA: Uriel, we’ll leave you to your business, but if you need any help finding anyone, we’re here for you.

MATT: Thinks for a minute. “I know you just returned. You’ve already done so much. But it has come to my attention that Riskel Daxio apparently has fled the palace, or at least has not been seen for a number of days. I’ve set the guards on it, and Seeker Asum, you as well, see if you can gather as much information as you can– but if you find it within your capabilities to seek any information regarding his whereabouts and possibly bring him to justice, I would be very grateful and happy to reward for the destruction of this traitor.”

TRAVIS: Yeah. (satisfied laugh)

LAURA: Of course.

SAM: Do you have any intelligence that he’s still within the city walls, or?

MATT: “It’s only been a few days, so, I haven’t, no–”

SAM: Could be anywhere.

MATT: “We’re trying to find out now. You may move swifter than my guard, if previous experience has taught me anything.” He looks over to some of his guards who are like, what?

TRAVIS: “Ah sir, we’re standing right here!”

TALIESIN: You guys are doing a great job, you’re great, you look great, you’re doing great, you’re great, thank you.

LIAM: “Man, we ain’t found shit.”

MATT: At this point, Guardian Tofor reaches over and says, “My liege, if I might also be excused to do my own search, I would appreciate that.” “But of course, Guardian, please, go on your way.” And she scatters off. The rest of the council looks about, and glances at the rest of you. Uriel stands up from his throne, “Very well. Thank you, and you’re all dismissed from this council meeting.” And he stands up and begins walking off with Seeker Asum at his side, quickly talking up to him and they’re both having this heated discussion as they leave out to the western side of the throne room.

TRAVIS: Are there any other guards in the room as we leave?

MATT: There are four other guards, two appointed to the front door and there are two at the sides of the central throne.

TRAVIS: I look at the guards at the door and I go, told ya!

MATT: They both step back for a minute from the booming voice out of nowhere, and, “Yeah.”

(laughter)

SAM: All right, so we’re free.

TALIESIN: That went well.

LAURA: Better than I expected, to be sure.

TRAVIS: I wasn’t worried. Who are we tracking down?

LAURA: The dickhead that built our frigging keep!

MARISHA: Yeah, you know, I’m wondering: if I was a sneaky bastard–

SAM: You’re not, don’t say that about yourself.

MARISHA: Thank you so much. I sometimes get concerned.

TALIESIN: I know where you’re going with this, you should finish the thought.

MARISHA: If I was a sneaky bastard, and I wanted to make sure–

SAM: You’re not.

MARISHA: Thank you. And if I were to make sure (laughs) I had an emergency escape route outside of the city, and was maybe tasked to build, I don’t know, say, our keep, within the last year, I feel like we need to start at home here.

LAURA: Yeah, I mean he’s built– he’s built a lot, but I assume he’s probably built secret entrances into different places.

MARISHA: Because our keep is butted up against the border of the city and everywhere else.

TALIESIN: Do we have the blueprints to Greyskull Keep?

MARISHA: Yeah, can we get them?

TRAVIS: They won’t be on there.

TALIESIN: No, but being able to study them we might find places where–

SAM: You’re thinking that he’s hiding in our keep somewhere?

MARISHA: No, I think he escaped through our keep.

TALIESIN: Or he might have hidden an escape– there might be things about our keep we don’t know.

LIAM: I mean, could I take a week and really size up the entire building?

MATT: Which building?

LIAM: The keep. For little sneaky holes that I didn’t know were there.

TALIESIN: We’ll get the blueprints just to help.

TRAVIS: Did we even ask where we last saw Riskel whatever?

LAURA: Can I search his room? Are we allowed to do that? I mean, he did ask–

MARISHA: Yeah, can we ask for transparency and information exchange or something like that with these people? So that we can come in and out of the Cloudtop District? Are we cool there?

MATT: You’re cool now. Yeah, all the charges have been dropped.

TALIESIN: We’re representatives of a foreign government.

MARISHA: Okay, cool. So here’s my other question. The Briarwoods wanted something with Emon. That had nothing to do with building a bridge, right?

TALIESIN: What did they want?

MARISHA: What did they want?

MATT: Seeker Asum found information that it seems that the whole bridge conversation–

MARISHA: Was like a ruse?

MATT: It was a ruse that arose– well, it arose because he began to send agents into Whitestone to find out what was happening, and he believes they discovered that Emon was now looking at them, and so they reached out to try and distract or prevent them from going any further. So as opposed to being just quiet and accepting this outside attention, they cut it off at the head and went like, “Hey! Let’s talk about how we can work together as a way to try and not keep this weird, constant influx of spies.”

MARISHA: So the Briarwoods coming to Emon is assumed to be just a formality? That’s all they were here for?

TRAVIS: A distraction.

MATT: To continue to raise belief in that conversation. It may not be the case, but that was–

MARISHA: But why send– why would I go? Why would you go? Why not send a representative? You know what I mean?

LAURA: So you can gain better control.

TRAVIS: So you can work your magic.

LIAM: Validity.

LAURA: Anyway, I want to go check out his room.

MATT: Okay. Riskel was also in charge of security within the palace. And part of the notes that you had received about him talked about discussing back and forth with the Briarwoods in preparation for their arrival, to make sure that most of the magical wards and defenses that were usually set up there were all removed or false.

SAM: Wait a second, so we’re gonna go check out his room to see if we can find clues, but also, who would know? Is there anyone that we know who would know– would Gilmore know where this guy has gone?

TALIESIN: You just really want to see Gilmore.

LAURA: Why would Gilmore know?

SAM: Because he knows everything about everyone.

TALIESIN: He just has really nice hair.

SAM: Isn’t that the same thing?

TALIESIN: It’s different from actually knowing things.

LIAM: I honestly think that if Asum doesn’t know, nobody knows. Asum is our source of information here.

MARISHA: Well you know what they say when you Asum.

(weak laughter)

LAURA: He’s just staring at you.

MATT: So, as you make your way over to– (laughs) as you make your way over to Riskel Daxio’s room, there are two guards out the front. You can hear things being rummaged around through inside. You can see a couple guards are picking apart his room, and at first glance as you step up, they see you, and the guards step aside.

LAURA: Council members coming through.

SAM: Take five.

MATT: The guards stop rummaging as you enter. You can see cabinets and stuff have been pulled out, bedsheets have been turned over. Most of the room appears to have been left untouched, except for most of his belongings– anything that would have worth is empty. Most of his drawers are empty. You can see already, there is what looks to be a small chest that is open and empty on the ground.

LIAM: Well, I’m gonna perception check that shit.

MATT: Go for it.

LAURA: I’m gonna perception check the whole room to see–

MATT: Make an investigation check.

SAM: And I’m going to look for secret compartments in the wall.

LIAM: Investigation, you said?

MATT: For investigating these specific things for this purpose, yes.

LIAM: All right, 20 for me.

SAM: 19 for me.

LAURA: 23 for me.

MATT: Okay. Inspecting the room, you find– the chest that you’re looking at currently, Vax, it has scrapes on the inside that look like it contained a great sum of money, that was then removed and taken, as if pretty much a large portion of his personal wealth was removed. That’s your inspection check.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: You, looking about the room, Vex, you find that the arrangement of the furniture seems to have these glyphs that are inscribed on certain pieces of his furniture that are reminiscent of some of the glyphs that you saw–

LAURA: In a teleportation circle?

MATT: No, actually, on the ziggurat. There are symbols that are concurrent with some of the writings that you saw inscribed up there. You can’t read it, necessarily, and they don’t appear to be enchanted by any means, at least not anymore, but there is– it appears like there was something about this room that was purposely arranged for some sort of arcane purpose.

LIAM: What are you gasping about? You sound perturbed.

LAURA: Oh. The glyphs, I saw them at the ziggurat. Keyleth, Pike, do you know anything about–

MATT: Anyone who wants to take a shot at arcane, I would recommend those who are proficient, because it’s pretty deep knowledge.

MARISHA: I can’t do the arcane thing.

SAM: I’ll do an arcane check.

TRAVIS: Yep, me as well.

SAM: Grog is an expert on all things.

LIAM: Natural 20, Grog.

ASHLEY: Oh! Natural 20!

TALIESIN: I wanna see how this pulls together.

TRAVIS: (confused laugh) I’m sorry.

MATT: So. As you all sit around and pull forth this chair, there’s a broken piece of the– (laughs) of the bed that was found as part of the guards rummaging through the room. You also see that one of the floorboards that is pulled up has this carved on the bottom element of it. And as you’re looking it over, especially, specifically Scanlan, who has seen many things about the world as a bard, and taken in much knowledge.

SAM: I’m very well-travelled and very old.

MATT: You’re trying to find out what the connection to this is. You’ve seen parts of this arrangement before, and while the runes are different, there is something about the way they’re arranged that reminds you of something, and Grog, you immediately remember that the last time that your party tried to scry into somewhere that didn’t want to be scryed in, and it was either aggressively ousted or prevented from any sort of intrusion–

TRAVIS: The beholder.

MATT: It’s the same type of arrangement in here. Something about this just says, “This room doesn’t want you to look at it.”

TRAVIS: Right, yeah, it’s funny, but like the pictures that were on the big shape, right, there’s something about it that reminds me with this arrangement of that time that we fought that shit-head beholder. Yeah, like, it doesn’t really want us to look in it.

LAURA: Is this like an anti-scrying glyph set?

MATT: Having a look at it now that you’ve been given the guidance from Grog, the all-arcane-seeing barbarian–

SAM: His instincts are just right there.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it’s just a feral thing, you know.

MATT: He’s very good at finding the memory. But that helps guide you to the knowledge and understanding, and immediately that is it. These glyphs were, while no longer having power because an element of them was taken or damaged in the process, this room was guarded against scrying, very subtly, but essentially preventing anyone from peering into Riskel’s private goings-on and anything he was doing within his personal delvings with the Briarwoods was all kept from being peered into.

SAM: Do I know what kind of magic or what kind of magic wielder would have been able to protect this room or design this protection?

MATT: Pretty much any caster of a decent, mediocre skill for casting can be done, and it’s not a terribly uncommon enchantment, it’s just expensive.

MARISHA: Do we have any idea when the letters came in to Emon that we were successful?

MATT: Which ones? You sent different ones at different times.

MARISHA: Either or. When did they get them, do we know? Can we find that information?

MATT: The letter that you guys had sent that just absolved you of your stuff that you had sealed, that was sent closer to Winter’s Crest, and that has not arrived yet. The one that you sent to Allura, regarding the inspection of the ziggurat–

MARISHA: Yes, that one.

MATT: That arrived about a week and a half ago, so– that arrived a lot sooner because you sent it a lot sooner, and Allura’s already left, and apparently has gone to seek some allies to help her–

MARISHA: And it’s been about three days since they’ve seen Riskel?

MATT: About three days, yeah.

SAM: And did we find anything else, any hidden compartments or anything?

MATT: No hidden compartments throughout the room throughout your search, no.

MARISHA: Can I go outside?

MATT: Yeah. You step outside of the room.

MARISHA: I wanna do a– no, outside. Dirt. I want dirt under me.

MATT: Okay. You’re gonna have to walk out on the actual palace into the courtyard area that’s around the front.

SAM: Okay, bye, Keyleth.

MARISHA: I’ll be right back! I’ll be right back, I’m not gonna, I’ll be right back.

SAM: I think she has to drop a D. With that expression–

MARISHA: I just like the bushes better.

TRAVIS: Is there a guard outside of the room?

MATT: Yeah, there are two guards outside of the room, and there are the two guards that have stood back and let you guys go about your business.

TRAVIS: Should we try and shake one down, and ask who was the last person to see him?

LAURA: Why do we need to shake him down, hey!

TRAVIS: Because it’s what I do.

LAURA: Do you know the last time– who the last person was that saw this gentleman?

MATT: “As far as we know, last he was seen was a few days ago. His servant, actually, who’s currently being interrogated, two rooms down, will probably have more information.”

LAURA: What was the servant’s name?

MATT: “This would be–” Hold on, let me pull this up real fast.

LAURA: The guard just keeps notes.

MATT: The guard goes through all of his notes here.

LIAM: He’s got two pieces of toilet paper with charcoal on it.

MATT: “Jeffrey.”

ALL: Jeffrey.

SAM: He’s being interrogated right now?

TRAVIS: I immediately leave the room.

SAM: Yeah, yeah, let’s go do that.

TALIESIN: I follow Grog.

MATT: All right. We’ll get there before you get to your place, so. As you’re heading down through the palace. You guys go to the next room, and the door’s open, and you can see this young man, probably in his early 20s or so, half-elf, his dark hair is pulled back into a very tight ponytail– go, you got it. He’s sat in a chair, currently, not tied up or anything, but there are two guards who are currently shouting at him and currently one’s like, “Where’d he go? Have you seen him? Where’d he go?” And he’s, “I’m trying to tell you, he just– he left three days ago. He packed up and he left! He walked right out. He said he–” And he looks over and sees you at the doorway. (whimpers)

TRAVIS: You two. Leave.

MATT: The two guards immediately step away and leave the room. Do you enter with him?

SAM: I do.

LAURA: Good cop, bad cop?

MATT: All right, so all of you guys follow in after Grog–

LIAM: Grog’s the good cop. Look at his face.

TRAVIS: I take out Craven Edge. And I put it, unsheathed, next to my foot.

MATT: As it slams into the wood, it sinks about an inch, as the blade just slips into the wooden floor. And you can see, you guys, as he pulls it out and sets it to his side, almost like mist off of a very hot, wet surface. You can see shadow just drifting off the blade ever so slightly.

TRAVIS: You know, there are those that protect life, and they just left. Now, whatever me and my mates are gonna ask, you’re going to answer honestly, or your life will be forfeit.

MATT: “Right, um. I–”

TRAVIS: Don’t talk unless you’re asked a question. My little mate over here will begin.

SAM: Jeffrey, is it?

MATT: “Aye.”

SAM: Jeffrey–

MATT: “Yeah?”

SAM: He doesn’t want to use the sword.

MATT: “I don’t want him to.”

SAM: He doesn’t like to use the sword. It’s a lot to clean, there’s brains on it. He likes to keep it nice and tidy in here. This isn’t even our palace. Don’t make him use the sword.

MATT: “Oh no. I don’t want him to.”

SAM: Just answer the questions. It’s totally fine, all right? It’s going to be fine. Do you want some water?

MATT: “No, no.”

SAM: Pipe to smoke or anything? Just anything to relax you, make you feel better.

MATT: “No, I’m okay.”

TRAVIS: When was the last time you saw Riskel?

MATT: “That would be three and a half days ago. He took most of his belongings and packed them up for a trip. He said he’d be back within a month.”

TRAVIS: Insight check that bitch.

SAM: All right. I will insight check him. That bitch. That did not go well.

TRAVIS: I’ll do it as well. 16?

MATT: He seems to be bewildered, fearful, and not holding back any information. He’s just at a point where he doesn’t seem quite sure what else to say.

SAM: Uh-oh, sorry, Jeffrey. He’s not gonna like using that sword, but it looks like it’s coming.

MATT: “Please don’t. No, no, no, no no. No, no, no. You don’t have to–”

SAM: The sword is moving a little, isn’t it?

TRAVIS: Spinning it. Spinning it now. On the tip.

MATT: “Three days he left, he said he’d be gone for a month, I-I don’t know where– he left! He-he-he walked right out of the Cloudtop District.”

TRAVIS: Where did he say he was gonna go?

MATT: “He didn’t tell me. He didn’t.”

SAM: Oh boy, this is gonna be a hard night for me, I’m gonna have to talk him down from this, he gets so worked up–

TRAVIS: I just got it clean, I just got it clean.

MATT: “I don’t know!”

SAM: Jeffrey, please, you’re just gonna make more work for me if you– if he has to behead you right now, please.

MATT: “Don’t behead me. I just met a girl, please don’t–”

TRAVIS: I mean I know the answers are inside you. If I have to open you up to get to 'em I will.

MATT: “No, there’s no answers to find! I’m empty! I–”

SAM: Jeffrey, Jeffrey, did your boss get any letters that he stowed away anywhere, did he have a safe-keeping place, a secret residence somewhere in the city walls–

MATT: “He had a chest, but he took everything out, he left. I don’t know! I don’t know!”

SAM: Did he ever regularly travel to anywhere in the walls of the city?

MATT: “Uh– he um–”

TRAVIS: I walk up and stand right next to him.

MATT: “I um– I-I-I-I escorted him once or twice to the– to the Graveyard District.”

SAM: Where specifically?

MATT: “Uh, it was uh. It was a-a tavern– it was far, far beneath him. I found it curious that he would attend.”

SAM: The tavern’s name?

MATT: “Uh, it was um…”

TRAVIS: I lay the sword right on the table and look at the reflection.

MATT: “The Diamond Nest Tavern! That’s the one! The Diamond Nest Tavern! He went there, I assumed to do what young-ish elven men do when they’re in stuffy work. I don’t know! I don’t know, I didn’t go inside.”

TALIESIN: How often did he go into the Diamond Nest Tavern?

SAM: This is our sergeant.

MATT: “Not often! A few times every few months.”

TALIESIN: Did it follow some sort of regular schedule or was it just out of the blue?

MATT: “No, not that I recall. He– every six months or so… uh, a few times recently, in the past month, but that was, that was all.”

TALIESIN: I feel this has been very helpful.

SAM: Yes, yes, you have been quite helpful… Give us the name of that girl so we can send our condolences to her?

MATT: “No no no no no! Please please please don’t–” He’s just weeping now, openly, like this–

TRAVIS: Oh, not on the blade, not on the blade…

MATT: You hear a voice in your head go, “No, keep the tears coming.”

TRAVIS: What?

TALIESIN: Grog, are you feeling all right?

TRAVIS: What? Yeah. How are you?

TALIESIN: I’m fine. I just want to check in, to see how you’re doing.

LIAM: Percival, you seem a little pallid all of a sudden. Are you feeling all right?

SAM: Jeffrey, is there anything else that might help us in our search for your former employer?

MATT: (whimpering) “Don’t kill me.” He’s lost at this point.

LAURA: Lost. Okay…

TALIESIN: The sword is a bit iffy…

SAM: Grog, what do you think?

MATT: “End its torture. End its measly life.”

TRAVIS: Can you see in this room right now?

MATT: “I can see everything you can see.”

TRAVIS: What? I was saying, can you see in this room right now. Can you see what’s happening in this room right now? We are totally intimidating the shit out of– Jeffrey?

MATT: (whimpering) “Yes!”

TRAVIS: Do you see what’s happening in the– (whispering loudly) Shut the fuck up!

SAM: Grog, what do you think? Should we let him live?

TRAVIS: Well, I suppose. He’s been pretty helpful. (yelling) Haven’t you, Jeffrey?! And I hold it right under his chin.

(laughter)

MATT: Go ahead and make a wisdom check.

LAURA: Oh my god! You’re gonna kill him!

MATT: Oh I’m sorry, a wisdom saving throw.

ALL: Saving throw?!

LAURA: Jeez Louise.

LIAM: You’re a terrible person.

TRAVIS: 14?

MATT: 14! For a moment, the shadows begin to surround you, and you feel the urge to push the blade right through his measly little throat. But you see the face. But it’s not his face: it’s the face of Pike right next to you looking up at you with this–

ASHLEY: Grog!

MATT: – and you pull yourself out for a second, and the blade comes back instinctively.

TRAVIS: What?! It was all part of the show. Heh. It was a show. All right, Jeffrey, you’ve been very helpful. Change your britches, and don’t do bad stuff. And I sheath it.

MATT: “Okay. I won’t. Thank you! Thank you.”

SAM: Have a good day! And remember, shop at Gilmore’s Glorious Goods!

(laughter)

MATT: “Okay! I will! I will!”

LAURA: Trinket goes up and licks his face.

MATT: (yelps)

TRAVIS: We should give him something. Ah, fuck him.

MATT: As you guys all walk out of there, you hear in the back of your head, Grog, this long, rumbling, deep, unhappy sigh.

LAURA: We should go check out this tavern, then.

SAM: Yes, we should. Maybe get a drink there?

LAURA: Yeah. And maybe go to the bathroom there.

MATT: All right. So you guys, you’re heading to the–

MARISHA: Well, I’m out in the courtyard.

MATT: Yes. Now getting to Keyleth.

MARISHA: I want to do a Commune with Nature spell.

MATT: All right! So.

ALL: (singing) The Age of Aquarius.

MATT: That got weird.

TALIESIN: This is what happens when you spend time on your phone.

MATT: All right. Commune with Nature. So what are you requesting to know about?

MARISHA: Is Riskel anywhere in town?

MATT: As you’re connecting, you feel your mind reach out to the earth itself, to all the plant life that exists beneath and through the cracks of the cobblestones. The few trees that are peppered throughout the city, keeping arduous watch over the goings-on within the city of Emon, and a single thought comes back to you that says, yes.

SAM: Oh, shit. I mean, I’m not there.

MARISHA: Can I take my second question to focus a little harder and figure out where in town he is?

LAURA: What a good idea. Good idea!

MARISHA: Thanks!

MATT: Your vision casts through and brings towards the outskirts of the Graveyard District. It brings you to a series of buildings, one building in particular, but not within, beneath. And the vision fades.

LAURA: He’s at the tavern, right? I mean.

TRAVIS: Or is he a fucking vampire?

LAURA: Oh my gosh.

MARISHA: Vision fades? That’s all I got?

MATT: Yeah. He’s beneath the tavern. That tavern–

MARISHA: So I get one more question?

MATT: You do.

SAM: How and when will I die?

MARISHA: (laughs) What is the meaning of life?

LAURA: 42.

MARISHA: Can I see any type of underground secret tunnels or passageways that lead out of the city? What?

MATT: You have a brief vision. There are a number of tunnels that snake underneath the city, many of which are long-collapsed or destroyed. You do know there are a handful that spill out towards the docks, deep beneath the city itself.

LAURA: Smugglers.

MATT: You’re hard-pressed to find specific locations, but one of them does seem to drift near the location of the tavern you were previously given a vision of.

MARISHA: Okay. Cool beans.

MATT: Nature fades from your grasp, and suddenly your consciousness returns to just your simple form of Keyleth.

SAM: Keyleth!

MARISHA: Ah! What!

SAM: Keyleth, we found a lot of information by scaring an innocent boy. We need to go to the Graveyard District for some reason.

LAURA: There’s a tavern!

MARISHA: That’s funny, I found the same thing, but I just meditated for a minute.

SAM: Shit.

TALIESIN: That’s not nearly as much fun.

MARISHA: You know, I’m glad we got things that overlapped, though. That’s good, I mean, it corroborates, exactly. Cool. Well, I found good news, Eskil, I mean, Riskel is still in town.

LAURA: Really? Are you sure?

MARISHA: I’m pretty sure. I got– his essence was floating in nature’s ether, and nature told me he was here.

LAURA: Where? At the tavern?

MARISHA: In the Graveyard District, it seems like he’s somewhere– I saw that– he’s somewhere underground. Also, it looks like there is in fact quite a lot of tunnels and secret passageways that lead out of the city near there.

SAM: You are amazing. Amazing.

LIAM: Pike and I spent a bit of time underground in the Graveyard District with the Clasp, I don’t know if the Thieves’ Guild is connected–

MATT: This tavern, the Diamond Nest Tavern was the tavern that contained the secret entrance to the Clasp.

LAURA: We busted in there!

MARISHA: So we have been, I thought it sounded familiar.

LAURA: Oh, shit.

MARISHA: Wait, was this the same tavern, is this the one that’s got, like–

TALIESIN: Burt Reynolds?

MARISHA: Right, is this the one that’s also like a whorehouse? Is that that one?

SAM: Aren’t they all?

TRAVIS: We’re definitely going.

MATT: No, no, this one does not. You’ve only really been to it at the really wee hours of the morning when no one was there for the most part so you could sneak in and out. You have not been there during its normal operating business hours.

MARISHA: What time is it right now?

MATT: Right now, after all this conversation, I’d say it’s pushing one, two o'clock in the afternoon.

TRAVIS: Yeah, let’s go, plenty of time.

LAURA: I think it’s a perfect time to take a break and then–

MATT: I was about to get to that. Actually.

TRAVIS: Somebody’s about to bust.

LAURA: Somebody needs to go to the bathroom.

MATT: Gotcha. Are you guys heading towards the Graveyard District?

SAM: We’re heading.

MATT: All right. As you gather up this information, head out of the Cloudtop District towards the western side of Emon, towards the Graveyard District, we will go ahead and take a quick break. We’ll see you guys back here in a little bit.

Break
[break]

Part II
MATT: Welcome back, guys. We’ve had a little break here, we’re gonna go ahead and hop back into this chaos. So. As the party, Vox Machina, makes their way through Emon, the sun itself pushing towards about 2:30, three o'clock in the afternoon. You make your way towards the Graveyard District, and there to the familiar–

(laughs)

LIAM: Wait! On the way, can I throw something in here? Halfway there I go: Argh! Oh my foot. Pike! Come here! and I pull her off to the side. We’ll catch up, we’ll catch up.

LAURA: What?! What’s wrong with your stupid foot?

LIAM: I take the insults and I wait 'til they all march on.

TRAVIS: (laughing) I take the insults!

ASHLEY: I take the insults, and I continue.

LIAM: Used to it, used to it. Pike. I had a front row seat to the Briarwoods, and that blade that Grog has now that we have never seen before came off of Sylas Briarwood.

ASHLEY: I thought something was wrong.

LIAM: It makes me nervous. I don’t know why other than it looks big and fucking scary. I thought about talking to him myself but he will just kick me in the goolies, so I thought that I would tell you, because I think he would listen to you, he certainly would–

ASHLEY: Did you see the stuff coming off the–

LIAM: Yeah, it kind of reminded me of Percival’s shit, which is why I’m talking to you now.

ASHLEY: Well, that makes me stressed.

LIAM: But he likes you! Not so much me.

ASHLEY: I’ll talk to him, and see maybe if… I don’t know, I’m gonna check out the sword and see if maybe–

LAURA: What’s that sound? Is somebody popping popcorn?!

MARISHA: Yeah, I think they are. I think they’re eating popcorn. I can hear it.

TRAVIS: There’s a street vendor on the way to the tavern that’s, yep.

LIAM: Anyway, that’s it.

ASHLEY: Okay. Thanks for letting me know. Fist bump.

TRAVIS: (belches)

MATT: You hear Grog belch in the distance and it echoes through the open walkway of the city’s streets. Yeah, it’s pretty fantastic. You catch up to the party, and you guys make your way to the outside of the Diamond Nest Tavern, a familiar tavern to all of you as you’ve been here once or some of you twice before. However, during this time, the front doors are open, in the middle of the afternoon, and you can hear from the inside the laughter, bustle and movement of people, and music playing very loudly from the interior, it sounds like various instruments cross-playing and the occasional cheer as glasses and steins clink on the inside.

LIAM: I’m gonna throw up my hood, and I’m gonna pull out my other cloak, the red one, and I’m putting it over Pike, putting the hood over Pike’s head.

LAURA: You have two extra cloaks? You gave me one and then you have another one?

TRAVIS: It’s like Dumb and Dumber with the gloves.

MATT: Which cloak are you giving her, then?

LIAM: Oh, the Mountebank.

MATT: Okay. And you’re keeping which one?

LIAM: The displacer cloak I’ve been wearing. I just don’t want you to be seen.

ASHLEY: Am I invisible?

MATT: No. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Just say yes! Just say yes!

SAM: Where’s Pike? Where did Pike go?

ASHLEY: Hey! Nobody can see me!

(clanking noises)

MATT: Your features are better hidden by this cloak, just because it’s big and not currently designed for someone of your stature.

LIAM: You gotta pull it round your cheeks.

MARISHA: I was gonna say, what does the clientele of the bar look like?

MATT: Well, as you guys step inside, the clientele here appears to be regular; the equivalent of like a blue-collar work staff, like, a lot of folks that are you know, sleeves rolled up to the elbows, dirt on the face, gentlemen who are part of either construction crews, or stone workers, masonry, probably work within the actual district in the process of moving plots, or building, you know, small mausoleums, things like that within the actual confines of the district. You see across the way there’s a live band playing, of which, you know, they’re no one really of note at first, however, Scanlan, you do recognize two of the individuals on the far side of the bar. In the band. There is an individual named Kent Plucker, who is a halfling bard, currently on the lute, which you had traveled with previously, for quite some time along with the other individual you recognize, a rowdy-looking but well-dressed half-orc violinist named named Dr. Dranzel.

(cheering)

MATT: A half-orc. Black hair slicked back, well-dressed with a really rough-looking angry chin. Aside from the attire and the dress would look the meanest, and leaning more towards the orc side than the human side, but very well-dressed, with a violin over the chin that looks so tiny by his massive frame, but he’s playing away and it is glorious.

LIAM: Have we heard of these individuals and these–

MATT: You’ve heard whispers from Scanlan long ago about just his travel, but you don’t speak–

SAM: My troupe.

LIAM: Oh, I forgot about Dran.

TRAVIS: Oh! We forgot about Dre.

MARISHA: (laughing) Dr. Dre!

(laughter)

LIAM: 60 seconds late, ladies and gentlemen.

SAM: It’s my troupe.

ASHLEY: This is amazing.

SAM: It’s my troupe!

TRAVIS: Wanna go say hi?

SAM: Of course I want to go say hi, but I don’t want to distract us from our mission.

LAURA: No no no, do your shit Scanlan, we’ll just look around.

ASHLEY: How about you ask to jump in for a tune?

MARISHA: Yeah, you know, we never get to see you play, Scanlan, not to your full capacity!

LIAM: I plant my foot firmly into his arse and just shove him towards the two guys.

SAM: I haven’t seen them for a while. I don’t know how they’ll react to seeing me.

MATT: As you’re getting that word out, you’re shoved forward, stumbling, almost being tripped by a few of the patrons, but as you stop and look up, you see before you a young, cute gnomish girl with very short pixie-brown hair, currently playing the flute. She looks over at you and gives you a winky grin. To the right of her you see a rather rotund human male, with a bushy blond beard and raggedy hair who currently has a series of small percussion drums around him and just hitting around, and to the other side of the small gnome girl you see a half-elven, more mature woman, in the later years for a half-elven woman, hair tied into a very, very tight bun, and she is in the process of singing this wondrous tune that matches this improvisational feel of the band. Currently Kent is not paying attention and is on the far right side, but behind them all, towering over, just by stature, is Dr. Dranzel with his violin, and as you stumble forward he looks over and just gives you a smile and keeps playing.

(laughter)

SAM: Mind if I jump in?

MATT: “It would be an honor! Scanlan Shorthalt, ladies and gentlemen! Jump into the fray!”

SAM: Feast your eyes, feast your ears, on quite a traveling troupe of musicians, and one humble gnome who is so lucky and humbled to join them. Please, keep the tips flowing for us, and your waitresses!

MATT: And with that, the current song comes to a close, they all lift their instruments expectantly and look towards you.

SAM: Let’s play our old standard. And a oney and a twoey and a oney and a twoey.

MATT: What instrument do you pull out?

LIAM: Vuvuzela.

SAM: I’m gonna pull out the flute, the flute, I’m gonna play the flute for a while. 'Cause I don’t wanna, the singer sounds good, I don’t wanna rain on her parade.

MATT: Yeah, no worries. So you pull out your flute and other gnomish girl with her flute as well gives you a look, and you guys start weaving together this flute duel, almost like Flight of the Bumblebees but two conflicting sides– Go ahead and make a perform check if you could.

SAM: I’ve never done one of these before. Something tells me it might not go well.

TRAVIS: It’s gonna be great!

MARISHA: I go and I get as many ales as I can carry and start handing them to those guys.

MATT: Okay. No worries.

SAM: 22.

MATT: As you guys begin to build this perpetual symphony of– it’s almost jazz flute almost in this improvisational feel to it.

SAM: (flute noises)

MATT: The drums build, you can see Dr. Dranzel is tapping his foot to it and he gets this really fast fiddle sound out of a classic violin, the whole room begins to gather around and cheer. Vex.

MARISHA: Here, have a drink. Yeah!

LIAM: Another whisper. Two whispers!

SAM: Jesus.

(laughter)

SAM: Ashley is subtly massaging Laura’s ass.

ASHLEY: For inspiration.

LAURA: I keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn’t– any of us.

MATT: Okay. Gotcha. All right, so. As the song builds, builds, builds, people are cheering and shouting, and you bring the drinks over, Keyleth, and you set them down.

SAM: Can me and the other flutist end with an impossibly long held note?

MATT: Make another perform check.

SAM: 33.

MATT: And with that, you both inhale, almost like through eye contact you knew it was coming. Hold, and hold, and you can see her eyes start to get tense and bloodshot, her face starts turning beet red, all the rest of the music stops and everyone just gathers around, the air leaves the room as everyone seems to lean in, and eventually she gives up and exhales and inhales sharply, dizzied by it but still smiling and you can only imagine the blurred romantic tunnel vision she has in your direction, as you carry it for about three seconds more and then end with a trill at the end. The whole room just rouses in cheers and clapping, you can now see coppers and silvers and a few gold are being thrown onto the floor in front of you, there’s a small bucket at the base of the small stage platform and Dr. Dranzel then stands up, takes his hat off of the ground next to him, and bows, as the rest of the group bows before as well. You know the drill, you’ve done this for quite some time. Everyone cheers, a few more drinks, even though you bought rounds for everyone, other people are buying rounds and bringing it up. And it’s been a while since you’ve done a performance of this magnitude, and it makes you feel good, and at that point you feel a hand clasp your shoulder and Dr. Dranzel leans in, “It’s good to see you again, Shorthalt. It’s been a while.”

SAM: Yes it has, sir, yes it has.

MATT: “Haven’t lost your edge.”

SAM: I’m a little rusty, but I trust you’ll keep me honest through this.

MATT: “Honest? We’ve always been honest. Come! Drink. Eat with us.” And they all put their instruments up, as he says: “We’ve just finished our set. Let’s catch up. It’s been some time, I’d like to hear of your journeys and tell you of some of ours.”

SAM: Absolutely. I’ll be back in a while, fellows.

ASHLEY: Good job, Scanlan!

MATT: “Oh are these, are these your friends?”

SAM: Oh yes, these are my traveling companions and–

TRAVIS: I’m his bodyguard. He’s very popular.

MATT: “You can afford a bodyguard of that magnitude?”

SAM: Oh, I’ve done quite well, thanks to your tutelage.

MATT: “Well great, great, well, come on, you don’t all need to stay away! Have your friends sit with us.”

SAM: They can join us?

MATT: “Certainly!” He goes and calls over, he goes, “Kaylie, Zed, help me with the tables.” And the gnome and the rotund bearded human rush off and start grabbing a couple of the tables and they cram them in the corner, so now you basically have built this monopoly on the far corner of the tavern now, where all of you guys can sit around and cluster.

SAM: Kaylie, that was some fine playing. I might have a tip or two about breath control.

MATT: “Sorry, not all of us are quite as old and seasoned as the others.”

(jeering and laughter)

SAM: Well, I’ve learned quite a thing or two in my years and, it might interest you to take a little private tutoring session sometime.

MATT: “Scanlan Shorthalt. You know, I’ve heard quite a bit about you.”

SAM: My legend is spread far and wide, I’m sure.

MATT: “Indeed. And I know better than most ladies that may cross your path.”

SAM: You may change your “tune.”

(noncommittal groans)

SAM: Grog, a little help over here.

LIAM: You had us, and then you lost us.

ASHLEY: Can I give him inspiration? Somehow?

MATT: How?

ASHLEY: I don’t know.

MATT: What would you like to do to make Scanlan look better in this circumstance?

TALIESIN: Perhaps help him with his pitch.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

SAM: It’s lovely to meet you anyway.

LIAM: Vex once helped Grog in a very specific way.

ASHLEY: I will– the man, the myth, and the legend, is true. So, in case you wanted to find out–

(laughter)

MATT: She gives you a look over, looks over at Scanlan.

SAM: Yeah. Yeah that, we’re close, we’re tight, she and I and– she’s come back for more.

MATT “A holy woman?”

MARISHA: Oh shit!

SAM: She’s got holes in all the right places.

(groaning)

SAM: I don’t know what I’m doing here!

MATT: She actually at that point goes (laughs), turns around, “Doctor! You weren’t kidding. This one’s certainly a card.” And she gives you a wink, and passes a drink your way across the table. As the crowd simmers down, people go back about their business, and the drinks are brought to the table and scattered about, the rest of you find your seats, and sitting around, they gather up the coin that was taken, and Kent, who sits down next to Dr. Dranzel, looks over and says: “Ah, it’s been a while, Scanlan. I’m glad to see you. Glad you could join us. It was like old times. It was nice.”

SAM: “It was nice. What have you fellows been doing for these years?”

MATT: “Well, we just finished up coming out here and playing for Winter’s Crest. We made a good deal of money, we’re on our way out and figured we’d finish up a few of these gigs.” And Dr. Dranzel kicks in and says, “Emon, these days, seems to be doing all right. Paid us well for our time here and, well, you’ve earned a little coin yourself from this.” And he takes a little handful of coins from the pile they had amassed and chucks it over your way. It’s like 25 gold.

SAM: Oh, well, thank you, but I can’t possibly accept this.

MATT: “Fair enough!” And he scoops it back.

(laughter)

SAM: You deserve it. It’s your gig, you booked it. I’m just playing here for the night.

MATT: “Ah, you’re fine.” At this point, you guys notice a small halfling boy, definitely not an adult, probably in his late teens, comes up to the edge of the table, you know, big eyes and softer features, and he’s dressed a little inconspicuously, comes up. “Doctor. Good performance, good performance.” and he claps and looks about the rest of the table. And Doctor’s like, “It’s fine, boy, they’re friends.” At which point the boy nods, looks about the rest of you, lifts up a small satchel and unloads it on the table next to Dr. Dranzel, and you see spill out a much larger collection of coppers, silver, rings, bits of jewelry, a few loose coin purses, and Dr. Dranzel reaches over and pats him on the head. “Good boy, Samson, good boy.”

LAURA: Nice haul, Samson.

MATT: “Thanks,” and he looks about awkwardly and expectantly and—

SAM: Still up to the old tricks, I see, Doctor.

MATT: “Hey, when business is good, Scanlan, when business is good.” And he reaches over and grabs a small bit of the gold coin and puts it into Samson’s hands and goes, “Go buy yourself some toys,” and pats him on the back, and the boy runs off excitedly. He quickly looks about and takes a bunch of the gold and scoops it into a small satchel at his side and hands it off to Kaylie. Kaylie takes it. Kaylie, who at this point has been introduced as the gnomish girl who you saw her grabbing the table. She takes the satchel and whisks her hand for a moment and the satchel just vanishes in her grasp in a little puff of smoke.

SAM: I like this girl.

MATT: “Huh. So the company you’re keeping seems to be formidable.”

LAURA: We are.

MATT: “What can we call you?”

SAM: We call ourselves Vox Machina.

MATT: “Sounds really formal.”

LAURA: (laughs) You can call us The S.H.I.T.s.

MATT: “I like that much better!”

(laughter)

“That’s the Scanlan I know. Shits it is. So, Shits, what do you do? What’s your trade? What are you tugging around with this sorry sap for?”

SAM: They’re powerful warriors, killers, assassins, magic wielders. Not quite as ornery as a bunch as musicians, but still pretty amazing people. We’ve had quite a few adventures the past few years.

LAURA: Scanlan’s a kingslayer.

MARISHA: It’s true.

SAM: He might not believe you or really anything about me.

LIAM: You doubt the cube?

MATT: There aren’t a lot of kings in these lands.

SAM: But there’s one fewer now.

MATT: (laughs) “All right, Kingslayer. So I take it you’re all experienced in a little skullduggery from time to time, yes?”

TRAVIS: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Grog, it doesn’t mean what you think it means.

TRAVIS: Oh.

MATT: “We’re thinking of shoving off. We recently got a tip, if you’re interested. Word came about about a dickhead with too much change in his basement—”

LAURA: (laughs) Are you leaning on something, Doctor?

MATT: Yes. I’m leaning on the back of a chair that I see in my imagination. (shouts) It’s my window! Go with it!

ASHLEY: I got it, I got it, I got it!

(laughter)

LIAM: There’s a very short man, right there.

TALIESIN: He’s in a cast. He’s been playing with a cast the entire time.

MATT: Towards the back of the tavern, there’s a small wooden thing. He’s lounging, he’s a casual guy, the Doctor.

LIAM: His name is Jonathon.

MATT: No. It is Doctor Dranzel.

SAM: Please, Vex, a little respect, he’s a physician.

(laughter)

MATT: “Anyway.”

SAM: A tip about a dickhead.

MATT: “Word came about a dickhead who has too much change in his basement. It’s weighing down his personality. You wanna help this poor old withered man alleviate this burden?”

SAM: You mean steal from him?

MATT: “No! I mean, help it go to good hard-working folk who deserve it more.”

SAM: What kind of a dickhead is he?

MATT: “I haven’t dealt with him personally. People have told me he’s a bit of a thorn in the side of, well, any lively folk. Especially those of an artistic persuasion.”

MARISHA: What’s his name?

MATT: “Don’t know the name. But I know where he lives. We’ve looked at the place, cased it if you will. There could be a few ways in. Unfortunately, we’ve become a little higher profile during our stay here than we expected and I don’t know if we’re quite as skilled in the realm of shadow-walking.”

LAURA: Doctor, we’re quite skilled but we have a bit of a name for ourselves as well. I’m afraid we may not be able to help you out.

MATT: “Right, very well.”

TALIESIN: We’re quite the opposite of low profile.

MATT: “Well, not to worry. Figured I’d pass it your way.”

SAM: If we were to pursue it, what would your take be?

MATT: “Well, based on a finder’s fee, and based on the relationship we’ve had all these years, our troupe would be happy to take a 40% cut.”

SAM: And this is a vast sum of money we might find?

MATT: “From what I’ve heard, sizeable enough for me to want to include someone the likes of you. You know I don’t like to include outsiders so regularly.”

SAM: Well, I’m not quite an outsider. Yes, them. Well, we could investigate, if you give us an address or description.

MATT: “All right, all right.”

LIAM: I haven’t been paying close attention, but who is this mark?

LAURA: He didn’t say his name.

LIAM: Don’t know his name, he’s just a dickhead. That’s all you know?

LAURA: What district does he live in?

TRAVIS: No, no, no. The old man wants to redistribute his wealth and we would be the vessel by which he would do that.

MATT: “You’ve got a smart bodyguard on your hands, too! (laughs) What’s your name?”

TRAVIS: Grog.

MATT: “That’s a good name. Yeah. Speaks of intelligence.”

MARISHA: Insight check?

MATT: Sure.

MARISHA: 29.

LAURA: Wow, that’s a good insight check.

MARISHA: I rolled a 19.

LAURA: Secrets, secrets.

MARISHA: I get secrets!

SAM: Pike, thank you for being my wingman back there.

ASHLEY: You’re welcome, but how come you never told us about Dr. Dranzel? Did you forget about him?

SAM: I told you–

ASHLEY: Did you forget about Dr. Dranzel?

TRAVIS: You forgot about Dranzel. Those motherfuckers act like they forgot about Dranzel.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: This is my favorite thing ever.

MATT: “But no worries.”

MARISHA: So you’re just, out of the good of your heart, wanting to redistribute a little bit of funds to help out a few less fortunate people, that’s all you have in this?

MATT: “Yeah!”

MARISHA: Really?

MATT: “We’re all rather less fortunate than this dickhead, and I don’t see why a little off his table wouldn’t even be noticed, probably.”

MARISHA: And where exactly did you find this information? On this dickhead?

TRAVIS: I think he said he asked him.

MARISHA: You asked him? What?

TRAVIS: No, no the old man asked him: oh, I need to redistribute.

MATT: I have my reasons, my connections, my friends here, and I’ve been told that his estate has been abandoned for some time, actually.

SAM: Keyleth, this is an old friend of mine, who I trust very much. He saved me when I was troubled and taught me much about the ways of performing and charming. He has my full trust.

MARISHA: Well, if I know anything about your skills, Scanlan, I think it says a lot about Dr. Dranzel. So–

SAM: I’ll take that as a compliment.

MARISHA: You’re welcome. Forgive me if I’m–

TALIESIN: I think we obviously– any friend of Scanlan is a friend of ours and I think if Dr. Dranzel here– may I call you Dr. Dranzel?

MATT: “You may.”

ASHLEY: Can I call you Dr. Dra?

TALIESIN: That has a really nice ring to it.

MATT: “Sounds to me unfinished and rather sloppy. Just Doctor is fine.”

ASHLEY: All right. Sorry.

TALIESIN: Professor Dranzel.

MATT: “Yes? Doctor. Doctor.”

TALIESIN: Dr. Dranzel, and I want to know if you’re really a doctor later, but I think, perhaps, maybe there’s a little tidbit of information about this that you’re holding back with because– I would understand. We’re new. We don’t really know each other. We’re not really on that friendship level yet, but my point is, we could be friends like that. We could be– I’m trying to see if this works.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

TALIESIN: You know what I’m doing. I’m attempting Friends.

MATT: Oh, interesting.

TALIESIN: I’m attempting.

MATT: Okay, okay. Good to know this. All right, then. What saving throw does he get for that one?

TALIESIN: I get advantage on charisma rolls.

MATT: Oh, right, right. Okay, okay. Yep, go for it.

TALIESIN: Am I just rolling charisma?

MATT: You’re rolling a persuasion with advantage.

TALIESIN: Oh, persuasion roll with advantage. Oh, that’s nice. 23.

MATT: Okay. He looks to you and goes, “We don’t know who it is. We’ve been told it’s in the Cloudtop District. It’s a red brick building. It’s been abandoned for over a year and apparently it’s been well boarded up. But from what I’ve been told, quite a lot of wealth is down there. But it’s a bit dangerous of an entry. We have no way of getting into the Cloudtop, but these myths keep finding our ears.”

TALIESIN: If it’s the house that I think it is, it’s already been–

LAURA: Pillaged?

TALIESIN: Pillaged. Pillaged is a good word. The rumors were not incorrect but–

SAM: What house is this?

TALIESIN: Do you remember with the agon-day with our utler-bay?

SAM: I don’t speak Latin.

LAURA: Pretty sure it’s already been cleaned out.

MATT: “That’s unfortunate.”

LAURA: Unless you’re hearing things we don’t know about.

MATT: “I know that a few individuals have tried to make their way in. Came out with hefty sums of gold but seemed to be a bit spooked.”

LIAM: I’m gonna pull up a chair and sit down in front of him. Hi, there. My name’s Greg. Greg. Yeah, I’m Scanlan’s friend, Craig.

MATT: “Hello, Greg. All right, Craig.”

LIAM: Scanlan might be able to help you with this. I’ll definitely be able to help you with this, but I’m not going to do anything unless I know something more, so if you want to go into the house, if you want me to break us into the house, which I can certainly do, I really need to know a little bit more. Your chances of getting whatever you’re after inside raise if you’re honest with me. And I don’t feel yet like you’re being honest with me, so I want to help you, but I don’t think I can and without me, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but we’re not getting in the house, so is there anything else you wanna tell me about–?

MATT: “That’s all I know. All I know is they’ve had a few other of the thieving persuasion have made their way in before and they came out with a decent chunk of change, given that they could only be in there for a short time.”

LIAM: I’m gonna insight check. That is a 19.

MATT: He’s hard to read, but the best you can tell is he’s been pretty clear with you. And at this point as you’re looking at him, his eyes go–

TALIESIN: And this is the point where I buy you a beer. And I put the coin down.

MATT: (laughs) “You’re a tricky one. All right, you’ve got yourself some talented compadres.”

SAM: Well, they can’t play as well as you, but they’re pretty good.

MATT: He takes the coin. Takes the drink. “Well, you know where it is. You know what it looks like. If you’re interested in finding your way in and come out with anything, we’ll be here about another week.”

LAURA: All right. How long have you been here?

MATT: “Probably been here about two weeks now. Two and a half weeks.”

LAURA: Hmm. Have you noticed– I’m sure you’ve seen many people come in and out, but an older gentleman dressed much nicer than he should be in an establishment like this?

MATT: You describe Riskel to him? Riskel’s elven. Thin features, older. Has some battle scars, but long-ish hair kept behind his ears. And as you describe it, he goes, “Yes, yes actually. We had a gentleman like that who came in here a couple of times about a week ago, and last saw a few days ago.”

LAURA: A few days ago?

MATT: “Yeah! He came in and watched one of our performances. Tipped us rather well!” (chuckles)

LAURA: Did he?

MATT: “Seemed a bit hurried.”

LAURA: Yes. Did you see where he went?

MATT: “No, I assumed he was staying here at the tavern.”

LAURA: Really? Are there rooms here?

MATT: “Yeah. Just upstairs, they have rooms here.”

TALIESIN: You should see if there’s rooms downstairs.

LAURA: Yeah. I get up and leave the table and go talk to the barkeep.

SAM: Do you guys want us to create some sort of distraction while you go search the place?

LAURA: I’m going to talk to the barkeep and talk about rooms, potentially, first.

SAM: For us?

LAURA: Just seeing what they have available, and what’s being rented right now.

SAM: Because we know he’s downstairs.

MARISHA: Yeah, I was going to say, he was going to go downstairs. I’ll go with Team Downstairs.

TALIESIN: Team Downstairs it is.

ASHLEY: Team Downstairs.

MATT: As you head to the barkeep, you see a dwarven woman wearing a simple blouse, but pulled up past the elbows. She’s currently wiping down part of the front– you can see her hair is pulled up to a ponytail that drifts past her shoulders down to the center of her chest. She glances up to you as you approach. “Hi, so what can I get you, dear?”

LAURA: Hi. You have rooms, yes?

MATT: “We have rooms, aye. We only got one currently not occupied.” LAURA: Do you have an older gentleman? Elven, battle scars– I describe him– staying here right now?

MATT: “No? No, I haven’t seen someone like that.”

LAURA: Insight-check her?

MATT: Make an insight check.

LAURA: That’s okay. 23?

MATT: 23? Her demeanor has changed, and she has gotten guarded. “Nope, haven’t seen anyone like that here. Sorry! No. A lot of patrons coming through.”

LAURA: Yeah. So many people come in and out. It would be so easy to lose sight of somebody like that who came in. I put five gold pieces onto the countertop. It sure would be wonderful if you could remember anything about him being here, however.

MATT: She takes her cloth that she’s wiping the counter with, and wipes over and pushes the gold coins towards you. Pulls back and goes, “Sorry, dear. I can’t help you.”

LIAM: I walk up by my sister, and where the woman just wiped that away, I take a piece of chalk out of my pocket and write thieves’ cant– not the word “thieves’ cant”– I use the thieves’ cant on the bar and say, in that language: there is a threat here. I can help you deal with it. And that’s it.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

LIAM: Persuasion, you said? 20.

MATT: She looks at it. Looks at you. Still holding her cloth, wipes it clean from the bar pretty quickly. (quietly) “You one of them? Kitchen storage room. Under the rice and grain barrels.” (louder) “Sorry! Can’t help you. That’s unfortunate.” LAURA: Completely understandable. Thank you for your time!

MATT: “Of course, of course.”

LIAM: We need to have a talk.

TALIESIN: Let’s all meet.

LAURA: Scanlan, could you have your wonderful friends create a distraction?

SAM: I can help them create one.

LAURA: Just enough so we can slip unnoticed downstairs.

TRAVIS: Hold on. He’s downstairs. Underground. Do we think maybe he’s a–

TALIESIN: No, because that would be very complicated to deal with while still being part of the political infrastructure of the city here.

LIAM: We need to talk.

MATT: You actually have seen him outside at various events for the council. He was publicly around for– especially during your guys’ intro– when you were first given entry to the council. You’ve seen Riskel around in daylight.

TRAVIS: I bet you one gold he’s a vampire.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Done!

LIAM: Yes, Grog, it’s true. He’s a vampire. Could we please meet in a booth in the corner of the pub, please? We need to talk now.

LAURA: All right.

TALIESIN: Excuse us, lovely fellows, we have prior business. We’ll be talking again very soon.

MATT: “Certainly hope so.”

LIAM: I can’t be 100% sure, but we are sitting atop the thieves’ guild. Pike and I have been here before–

LAURA: We’ve been here. We’ve barged in here before.

LIAM: Not down in the heart of it like we have. Underneath here is a honeycomb of thieves.

TRAVIS: (gasps excitedly) Honeycomb! Oh, of thieves.

LIAM: I think our man is downstairs. They’ve given me the way in. But it’s not going to be easy, it’s not just an empty basement. We’re sitting on top of the thieves’ guild. This is the Clasp!

LAURA: Well, why do we have to– why is it dangerous? Why can’t we just go in and ask for him and get him?

TRAVIS: Aren’t you part of them?

LIAM: I can– Yes. I should take point. I’m just saying we’re not going down into an empty grain cellar to kill a bunch of rats.

MARISHA: So do we think that the Clasp is protecting Riskel? Is that what we’re assuming?

LIAM: It’s possible. For money, anything is possible.

SAM: Well good to know, but we’re still going.

MARISHA: I mean, you were with these people. Once. What–

LAURA: Aren’t you still– I look at your hand– don’t you have the mark?

LIAM: It’s complicated. Where did she say to go? It was through the kitchen?

MATT: She said through the kitchen storage room, on the left. And the mark is actually at the middle of his–

LAURA: I mean, that’s what I mean. I’ve seen it.

LIAM: Your memory is like an iron trap!

SAM: I think you guys should go. Right away.

LAURA: You guys? Where are you?

SAM: I’ll follow close behind.

LIAM: We’re going to go into the kitchen. We’re going to go two minutes apart, all right? Don’t all go in a crowd. I’m going to go in first. I’ll see you in there. And then I walk–

SAM: I walk over to Kaylie. And I say: my dear Kaylie, I’m sorry if we got off on a weird foot. I have that effect on people sometimes, especially–

MATT: “Your feet are weird? That’s interesting.”

SAM: (chuckles) Especially lovely-to-look-at young ladies.

MATT: “Smaller than I expected, those feet!”

SAM: Well, you know what they say. Wait, no. Don’t.

MATT: “I know what they say.”

SAM: Don’t, no. Don’t. That’s not what– Anyway. (clears throat) I was impressed with you up there. Your skills with the flute are remarkable. I was wondering if I could have a little fun tonight and challenge you to a flute-off! We go up on stage, we ask the audience for suggestions, and we see who can last the longest and blow the hardest.

(laughter)

SAM: If you win, I’ll give you whatever’s in my purse. And if I win, I get a kiss.

MATT: “Somehow I think I’m still getting the shit end of the deal.”

(laughter and applause)

MATT: “But I’m one for fun at the very least. It’s a deal.” (spits loudly)

SAM: No, don’t worry.

(laughter)

MATT: You guys shake on it. Are you waiting until sundown, or are you doing it now–

SAM: No, we’re going– Oh, are we waiting until sundown? Is that what’s happening?

LIAM: I’m in the kitchen.

SAM: Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls! The first ever flaute-off? Flutist-off? Flute duel! Featuring me! Scanlan Shorthalt! And you, Kaylie…?

MATT: “Kaylie’s fine.”

SAM: Kaylie’s Fine, everyone!

(laughter)

MATT: Some of the folks around are like– some seem disinterested by it, and some clap.

SAM: All eyes up here! It’ll be a great show!

MATT: At this point, Dr. Dranzel is like: “Hah! Well, this will be interesting!” And he’s still sitting back, watching. You guys are going in first, you said?

LIAM: No, I already went in.

MATT: Stealth check.

LIAM: (quietly) She told me to go in! So that’s a 23.

MATT: Okay. You seem to slip in. And there are two individuals currently running the kitchen. There’s the smell of food, but there are no meals currently being cooked. They’re just talking to each other. They don’t even notice you slip by.

LAURA: I put my hood up before I head back that way.

MATT: Go for it. Make a stealth check?

LAURA: (quietly) Oh no.

ASHLEY: I follow them! No, just kidding.

LAURA: Oh, I get advantage. Yeah! 25.

MATT: 25? Same thing. You guys turn around to the left of the kitchen. There is a small stairway that goes down about five feet into the storage room, where you find your brother. And this is all very familiar to you. You’ve been here once before. This is where you guys exited the guild on the way out, a long time ago. And there are a series of crates and stuff. But in the far back corner, there are two sacks that are labeled “rice” and “grain”, that are leaned up against each other. So we’ll get to you guys in just a moment. Who is next up after you guys?

SAM: After they go, I call back to the kitchen and I say: to choose the first song will be the lovely gentlemen who have prepared our food for the evening! Please come out here and choose a song for us!

MATT: Everyone looks over and one gentleman stands up and–yells out into the kitchen–is like: “Hey! You’re picking the song, mates!” Then you see two folks come out. One’s an older woman, wrinkled face, hair’s a bit tattered, but she seems happy and smiling amongst her– happy lines are all throughout her face. The other one’s a younger guy. Probably, looking at the features, related to her, who’s helping her out in the kitchen. And they both step out, confounded. “What’s going on?” “Well yes, what’s going on?”

SAM: Just pick us a song, any song! Everyone, give a round of applause to your cooks for the evening!

TALIESIN: I grab Keyleth and we slip behind them and into the kitchen.

MATT: All right. Stealth checks from both of you guys.

MARISHA: 15.

TALIESIN: 14.

MATT: Okay! The distraction was helpful! So you guys slip past, seemingly unnoticed. Everyone’s attention is on them, currently. And they both look at each other, and she goes, “I, um. Could you– Flute, you say?” Takes some popcorn from her pouch.

SAM: Sure. Oh, yeah, she’s– Weird place to put popcorn.

MATT: “It’s a busy kitchen! Could you sing Clouds Upon the Horizon? That was my favorite as a girl!”

SAM: Ah! It’s a ballad, but okay. Sure.

(laughter)

LIAM: Do you have an earring on? Scanlan, I need you to make an ode to the kitchen staff. Could you call the kitchen staff out and–

SAM: I did already! I did already!

LAURA: You called the kitchen staff out?

SAM: Yes! They’re the ones who are suggesting the song!

LIAM: Oh, really? We’ve just been in– in the back– in that downstairs room where we didn’t know!? Well, we’re in a separate room!

MATT: Yep! There you go! (chuckles)

SAM: Good thought! I had the same one!

LIAM: Everybody else: come now, come now, come now.

MATT: All right, so you guys head down. Make stealth checks for both of you. That’s going to be disadvantage on you, Pike.

LAURA: Oh, and… Trinket.

MATT: Coming down with you?

SAM: A bear!?

LIAM: Really? Every tool has its place.

ASHLEY: Nine.

SAM: Nine?!

ASHLEY: Come on! What else is it gonna be with a disadvantage?

TRAVIS: 13?

LAURA: 16.

MATT: After the– You’re really bringing Trinket down there with you?

LAURA: Is that bad? What else–

SAM: (yelling) Yes, it’s bad!

(laughter)

MATT: As you all are waiting, you guys start heading around. And as you’re scooting around the kitchen staff, Trinket, who is currently out front, sees everyone scooting around and disappearing into the back. Leaning his head into the tavern, goes, (bear grunt) and begins walking into the tavern. Other patrons start like (startled exclamations), then like, “Bear! Bear, bear!” And other individuals start standing up and seeing this bear come lumbering through the tavern, towards the kitchen.

LAURA: Oh, shit. I hear it. I come out of the kitchen very sneakily. Oh! Oh, my bear! I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Trinket!

LIAM: Story of my life.

LAURA: What are you doing in this tavern! Oh, dear! We should probably head outside! You and me, Trinket!

LIAM: You’ve got two minutes.

LAURA: Fuck. I tell him– Oh! Oh no, that’s so sad! But I tell him to head back to the keep, I guess.

TRAVIS: To the keep, or just outside?

LAURA: To the keep! 'Cause what else? He can’t just hang out without us there!

ASHLEY: Maybe he could stay out there.

LAURA: Really?

LIAM: While she’s doing this bullshit, I’m going to make sure that the rice bags and everything are not trapped. Is there a clear stairways down, or?

MATT: The bags. You go to lift them, expecting them to be very heavy. They’re actually filled with something much lighter. They’re false-filled, and they actually move out of the way very quickly. And there is this similar hatch that you guys have come through before. It’s about five by five foot wide.

LIAM: I check for traps. Check for traps.

MATT: Go for it.

TRAVIS: So mayhaps with the bear entering, there is enough of a distraction for one suit of armor to clankily make its way down?

SAM: You would think.

MATT: You guys were caught in the attention with Trinket, at the same time. So you guys were in the middle of the fray, as you were walking past. As you’re bringing Trinket out, the attention is pulled away. I want you guys to make another stealth check.

ASHLEY: Come on.

MATT: Grog? You have disadvantage on this one now.

ASHLEY: Fuck. Ugh. Same rolls. Exact same rolls.

TRAVIS: 12.

ASHLEY: Nine.

MATT: You guys walk past. As you’re stepping into the kitchen, you hear the voice of one of the staff, “Excuse me! Excuse me! You can’t be back here! This is our kitchen, we’re trying–”

ASHLEY: I’m gonna throw up! I’m gonna throw up!

TRAVIS: Yeah, she had a lot to drink!

ASHLEY: I’ve had so much to drink!

TRAVIS: You had a lot to drink, be careful. Yeah, she’s going to spew!

MATT: “Take it outside! Don’t do it in our kitchen!”

ASHLEY: I need a pan, or something!

TRAVIS: She’s got infectious diseases too! When she spews, everybody catches it!

ASHLEY: I have the consumption.

MATT: Pike, make a deception check. (chuckles) I’ll say with advantage, since Grog is aiding you in this.

ASHLEY: Perception or persuasion?

MATT: No, deception.

LAURA: Oh, deception, deception.

ASHLEY: Deception? Fuck, come on. 12.

MATT: With advantage, because Grog’s helping you.

LIAM: Come on, gnome!

ASHLEY: 14.

MATT: That’s better.

MARISHA: Yeah, hork like you mean it!

MATT: The guy is like, “Oh, no. No! Not in here! Um! Right there!” and he points to a doorway on the other side of the kitchen that leads to the alleyway. And he’s like, “Out there! No, go. Go!”

ASHLEY: I just start running. I just start running.

MATT: Okay. You run and you open the door out into the alleyway. Grog follows you out.

LAURA: I lead Trinket outside and I see them come out the alleyway!

MATT: You do, if you go around the side, yeah.

LAURA: Okay, yeah. So I have Trinket hang out in the alley and stay there and wait for us. Be safe, Trinket! If any danger comes your way, intimidate them and run the other direction. Go home. I love you.

MATT: Trinket just lies there with his head on his paws.

LAURA: You guys are evil for making me leave him.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: So there are still two cooks in the kitchen?

MATT: No, one cook has come back in and is currently watching her pretend to vomit in the alleyway.

LIAM: I got a 25 when I checked for traps a few minutes ago?

MATT: Okay, thank you. There are no traps on this door, but it is locked.

LIAM: All right. I don’t know what’s down there, but let me take the lead because I’ve dealt with this before. I don’t crouch down or anything, I just start– still quietly– but I just walk. Head held high, walking down the stairs. Motioning everyone to follow who’s here.

MATT: Okay. As you’re doing this, you begin your “flaute-off”? I don’t know. Roll performance!

SAM: Am I rolling for performance? 28.

MATT: 28!

SAM: I perform very well. (singing) Too many cooks!

MARISHA and TALIESIN: (singing) Too many cooks!

(laughter)

ASHLEY: (moans) Oh, don’t get it in my head!

MATT: Hold on, sorry. This is important, guys. Once I can get the ad off here. So, as you pull out your flute and you prepare for this wondrous–

SAM: You’ve got this on your machine?

(banjo playing)

SAM: Is this Jethro Tull?

MATT: Yes it is.

(laughter)

LIAM: Yes! Yes!

MATT: Let’s get to the good part here.

SAM: Is there a good part?

MATT: This is the whole album.

MARISHA: It was just one big, full album. The song was a whole album.

MATT: Sure, and as the band picks up behind you–

SAM: Come on, Dr. Dra!

MATT: Dr. Dranzel picks up his instruments and you guys start playing back and forth with your flutes just picking off– improvising off of the classic! (laughs) Make another perform check.

SAM: Everybody give it up for Zed on drums! 24!

MATT: All right. Kaylie is trying to keep up and you can see her face starting to go red. But she’s determined on this, and she continues pushing this into an improvisational flurry of notes that completely walks around your performance, previously done. And you find yourself having to take a step back as she begins stepping up onto the table. And now, even at her gnomish height, is looking over the entire crowd, as people– who were not previously as interested– are starting to turn around and look towards you two play.

SAM: I can’t be one-upped. I use Minor Illusion to create sort of a mirror image of myself, over myself, also playing the flute.

(laughter)

MATT: Make another performance check, with advantage.

SAM: With advantage? Not as good, 22.

MATT: 22, all right.

MARISHA: I can’t believe the Jethro Tull song with no flutes was the one you happened to find!

SAM: It was a ballad! She chose a ballad!

LIAM: You have the best of Jethro Tull over there, or what?

MATT: Apparently all Jethro Tull songs don’t have any flute in them! Failure. Big failure on that part.

SAM: Just play the scene from Anchorman.

MATT: We’re going to go back to the–

(laughter)

MATT: You failed me, Tull! Failed me! A great moment ruined by your inability to play a flute in your own album!

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Jethro Tull would be a great name for a Sith.

LAURA and ASHLEY: It would!

LIAM: Careful, careful, I’m still raw.

MATT: Aw. Anyway, as it crescendos and crescendos– What did you roll?

SAM: 22.

MATT: 22! You can see, now, the volume of her flute playing begins to pull back, as you begin to step up onto the same table next to her. Twice as high now, with the illusionary Scanlan above you, almost like those awkward middle school superimposed photos of yourself in the upper corner.

SAM: And lasers in the background?

MATT: Yeah! As the music swells, and the drums start picking up, you see Dranzel has now pulled up his violin and he’s now furiously fiddling along with it. The music swells and swells. The guy in the kitchen who is looking for you guys hears this, and now turns his head and goes, “What’s going on?” And looks back into the room. Guys, make one more stealth check.

ASHLEY: Come on.

TRAVIS: With advantage?

MATT: No.

LIAM: We’re all doing stealth checks?

LAURA: No, just me.

TRAVIS: What is fucking going on?

LAURA: I got 18.

TRAVIS: 20.

ASHLEY: We don’t have an extra roll? It is what it is. I have a six.

MATT: Okay. What did you get?

LAURA: 18.

ASHLEY: Maybe he’ll think it’s cymbals or something.

MATT: Best two out of three, you make your way in.

(laughter)

MATT: Thanks to the music, the clanking is over–

TRAVIS: How about I pick up Pike with my 20, and I carry her in.

MATT: Sure! Still works out.

TRAVIS: Minimal clank.

MARISHA: Plank. Hold your abs.

MATT: So, as the music picks up and swells, at this point, make one final performance check.

SAM: 27.

MATT: 27. With this note, you bring once again, this same duel you guys had when you first entered the tavern, and you and Kaylie are facing off, looking directly at each other, furiously going on your flutes.

SAM: Blowing at each other.

MATT: Eyes locked, tapping your feet heavily against the actual wood to the table. The rhythmic pounding of your feet and the drums– because the entire room now also slamming their tables in with it as the music builds and builds until eventually you both take one deep breath and go for that same sustained note a second time. She’s challenging you at the game she lost last time, and the two of you both swell into this cacophonous spray of music that hits this one final note that pierces through and all the slamming stops, and everyone just waits to hear how long it will go. It carries and carries and carries. The breath never seems to end. Roll another performance roll.

LAURA: Come on, Scanlan!

SAM: It’s a 22, but I’m going to let her win.

MATT: As you begin to trail off the sound of the note, you can see she’s starting to already go a little blue in the face, determined to win this. And she’s about to falter. You could win this, if you want to, but are you going to let her?

SAM: With a wink, I end my note.

MATT: As the flute leaves your lips and you go into a fake gasp of air, she finishes on a high, piercing tune, a trill, and then finishes off, carrying the flute away with a smile as your illusion fades.

SAM: Ladies and gentlemen, Kaylie’s Fine! Ladies and gentlemen.

MATT: “You’re good, but I’m better.”

SAM: I tip my hat to her and say, yes ma'am. It seems that tonight, you are. All right, I kick her 100 gold.

TRAVIS: What?

MATT: “You said your purse.”

SAM: Is she going to inspect it?

MATT: You reach over. Are you going to start thumbing through your purse and pulling out gold? She goes, “No, your purse. You bet your purse.”

SAM: I mean, that was a figure of speech, right?

LAURA: You totally let her win and you’re going to give her all your money?

TRAVIS: He forgot about that part.

MATT: “I spit on it.” She looks over to Dranzel. Dranzel goes, “I did hear you say a full purse.”

LIAM: Oh, I hope there’s so much money in that bag.

SAM: A deal is a deal.

TRAVIS: The things you do for women.

LAURA: Do not give her your money!

MATT: What are you doing, Scanlan?

TALIESIN: If there was a piece of advice that ever lived.

SAM: I untie the purse and I hand it over.

LAURA: Do you take any of the gold out secretly before you hand it over to her?

MATT: You’re not there.

TALIESIN: Such a life lesson.

MATT: She takes it. How much was in there?

SAM: 2,600.

MATT: She takes the chain purse and weighs it. “Let it be known throughout this tavern that Scanlan Shorthalt is a man of his word.”

SAM: Thank you, my dear.

MATT: She takes the chain purse and flicks it away. It vanishes in a puff of smoke. She goes, “That’s a lot of coin.”

SAM: I get around a lot.

MATT: “Perhaps we’ll have a drink later.” And she steps off the table. Now the rest of you have all made your way down into the storage chamber.

LAURA: Oh god.

LIAM: Anything we encounter is far easier than what just happened.

LAURA: Do you want to cry? Because I would want to cry.

SAM: Money means nothing to me.

ASHLEY: Should somebody pickpocket her?

LAURA: Fuck yeah, man.

MATT: Are you going to join them?

SAM: Yes, of course!

MATT: Go ahead and make a stealth check.

SAM: Oh, wait. Oh yes, I still have to sneak back there, don’t I? I just go invisible.

MATT: All right, you step under one of the near by tables and come out, completely invisible. You make your way, stepping through the kitchen, downstairs and find that you currently, right now– Vax, you are going to unlock the latch, you said?

LIAM: I’m sorry, I was just thinking of Wendydoodle’s art from the comic. Yeah, yeah, I’m going to check that door for traps, is what I’m going to do.

MATT: All right, perception check. Wait, you checked earlier, there’s no traps. There’s just a lock.

LIAM: Earlier, yeah, I did get a 25 up top, yeah. I thought you were giving me another door. Yeah, 25 up top where the fake bags of rice were.

MATT: Right, but it was still locked, you didn’t roll to–

LIAM: To pick it, sure, that’s no problem. It is a 23.

MATT: 23, it’s a little tough, you just manage to get it up and it comes off and the latch– pretty solid still.

LIAM: Amateurs.

MATT: Okay, you open the (creaks) leads down below and you find yourself looking down into a familiar stairway that leads into darkness.

LIAM: All right, I know sometimes I can seem like I’m an idiot, but let me do the talking, yeah? And then I start down and lead the way.

MATT: All right, so, as you push down the stairway, we’re doing marching order here just so we have it. So we have currently, you’re at the front, who’s behind Vax?

LAURA: Me.

MATT: All right Vex, you’re behind him. Who’s behind Vex?

TALIESIN: I am.

MATT: All right, Percy.

MARISHA: I’m up next.

MATT: All right, now, Scanlan, Pike, Grog, who’s up next?

ASHLEY: Oh, do we roll?

MATT: No, just let me– Who wants to go after Keyleth?

SAM: I’m probably in the back since I was the last to move.

MATT: Okay, so Scanlan will be in the back and then probably Grog next to him and Pike right there.

TALIESIN: He made a little rainbow.

MARISHA: Oh, it is a rainbow.

LAURA: It’s so pretty.

TALIESIN: They can’t see it because it’s off; they won’t be able to see it.

MATT: There’s a reason for that. All right, so, as you step down, the wood creaking with every here-and-there step. It stops, switches back, and then heads down further. You can see that this area of the room is mostly completed in construction, but a portion of this has been rebuilt. If you recall, last time you guys exited, part of this exit was destroyed. It has been reconstructed and there at the bottom of the stairway is a thick wooden door, wrapped in iron bars or strips of iron to keep it nice and taut and strong, and you can immediately see five locks down the side of the door. LIAM: Everybody hold up for a second, could we crowd-surf the bard up to us at the front please?

SAM: Oh, is that me?

LIAM: The bard, yes.

SAM: Grog, toss me forward.

TRAVIS: Not really getting his meaning, I grab him by the back of the shirt and I just chuck him.

MATT: Being at the bottom of a stairway, I want you to make an acrobatics check.

SAM: (laughs) Oh, acrobatics, 12.

MATT: 12? Scanlan (boof) on the ground right next o you, thankfully just missing the bottom stair, which would have hurt even worse in the back, but through the slight toss you take six points of damage. The fall. A real crick in your back in your back in your shoulder from the impact. You get up.

SAM: Thanks Grog, thanks.

LIAM: I’m gonna scoop a hand under his head and give him a slap on both sides.

SAM: (huffs) What are we looking at?

LIAM: Listen to me. I’m gonna try to do the talking in here, because I know these people a little. But if that fails, I need you. All right?

SAM: You– me? Yes, just do my thing?

LIAM: I need you on ice for a little while, all right, so just stay between me and my sister.

SAM: Okay. Yes, yes, sir.

LIAM: Five locks?

MATT: Five locks, yes.

LIAM: I want to perception check for traps and for Thieves’ Cant and anything else.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: That’s all right, 20.

MATT: Okay. Looking about the locks, none of them look to be trapped. You do notice that there is a bit of scratching on the wood next to each lock. Each one is a different language. What languages do you speak?

LIAM: I speak Elvish, Common, Abyssal.

LAURA: You speak the same languages as me.

MATT: It’s like you grew up together.

LAURA: Oh, I also speak Undercommon.

MATT: Okay. Looking at it, Abyssal– you do recognize two of them, and it’s the top one and the bottom one. And both of them, the equivalent in Common would be a phrase like: enter, or pass.

ASHLEY: Is one of them in Underdark?

MATT: No Undercommon, no.

LAURA: What about Draconic?

MATT: Underdark would be Undercommon.

TALIESIN: Celestial? Elven?

MATT: Nothing in Elven.

ASHLEY: Dwarvish?

MATT: There is a Dwarvish one.

TRAVIS: Oh, oh! I have a Belt of Dwarvenkind that lets me read Dwarvish.

MATT: If you could read.

(laughter)

LAURA: But that’s okay, Pike can read Dwarvish.

SAM: It sounds like the Abyssal ones are the ones that you have to do.

LIAM: There’s five of them.

SAM: Yeah, but those say 'enter’.

TALIESIN: We don’t know what the other ones say, though.

MATT: All right. So. There is the one in the middle, is in Dwarven. The two of you recognize it. You walk up and say: that’s Dwarven, but that’s as far as you actually understand. You know it’s Dwarven. Go ahead and make an intelligence check, just go for it. Roll a d20 and add your modifier.

TRAVIS: For intelligence?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: (laughs) Nine.

LAURA: You have a negative two modifier? (laughs)

MATT: You– It’s Dwarvish. You know Dwarvish?

ASHLEY: I do.

MATT: Okay. Coming up behind Grog and you whisper to him and let him have the moment. You recognize the rune and it’s the Common equivalent of entry, enter.

LIAM: None of them are in Elvish?

MATT: No, none of them are in Elvish.

MARISHA: Sylvan?

MATT: There’s no Elvish whatsoever.

TRAVIS: This word in Dwarvish means “gentry”.

MATT: Does anyone know Goblin?

LAURA: Don’t you know Goblin, Scanlan?

SAM: I fucking hate goblins, that doesn’t mean I know their language.

MATT: And does anyone know Primordial?

MARISHA: I do.

TALIESIN: You know Primordial?

MATT: The fourth one on the bottom. You have the top one and the bottom one, which you read. The middle one in Dwarvish, which you guys read. The fourth one is a Primordial phrase that says the equivalent, and it is a language of guttural, elemental sounds. It is a no, a stop, a general halt type.

SAM: Shit. Don’t do that lock.

LIAM: So we that leaves one left and we don’t know what says. There’s no Thieves’ Cant on this door?

LAURA: So wait, the top one is a yes. The middle one is a yes. The bottom one is a yes.

MATT: The second one down.

LAURA: We don’t know.

MATT: The second one down you do know, that’s the one that says no.

SAM: The B-slot we don’t know.

LIAM: So all together there’s five locks and we know four of them?

MATT: You know four of them, yes.

ASHLEY: Is there any way to try to figure out what it says?

MATT: Outside of not knowing the language or any magical means that would allow you to.

LIAM: I look at the two in Abyssal. They say 'entry’, is that right?

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: And I already checked for traps and there were no traps, just locks

MATT: No, you have not checked for traps on this one.

LIAM: Do I need to check each lock?

MATT: You would.

LIAM: Fuck.

SAM: Why don’t you just check the two that are unknown to us, that are negative?

MARISHA: Do you want an enhancement of your abilities?

LIAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: Okay. You use dexterity, right? I give him Cat’s Grace? I cast Enhance Ability on him.

SAM: You’re making this shit up.

MARISHA: Kind of, yeah.

MATT: All right. So Keyleth reaches out and you feel your form become even more– So you have advantage now on dexterity checks for as long as she remains concentration on the spell.

LIAM: So we got Abyssal, Abyssal, Dwarven in the middle and–

MATT: Primordial on the second to last.

LIAM: And the Primordial says no, yeah?

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: The Abyssals say yes and the Dwarven said what?

LAURA: Yes. They all say enter, entry.

LIAM: So I want to try to pick the three that I know. Two Abyssals and the Dwarven say entry. And I have advantage on.

LAURA: Did you check for traps?

LIAM: I did. I checked for traps, right?

MATT: You’re rolling right now to check for traps.

LIAM: I’m rolling right now to check for traps.

MATT: All right, go for it.

LIAM: So the top is Abyssal. Here I go.

LAURA: Natural 20!

MATT: The top one is locked, but it is not trapped.

SAM: Go for the middle.

LIAM: No, I’m gonna unlock that.

MATT: Okay, go for it. With advantage.

LIAM: With advantage.

LAURA: Balls!

LIAM: Four, so that’s okay. This is lock-pick, right? 23.

MATT: 23. Not a very complicated lock, the top one (click). Comes off without a problem. Perfectly silently, you just pull the latch back. (creaks)

LIAM: All right. I’m gonna go down to the bottom, to the Abyssal at the bottom. Checking for traps.

LAURA: Natural 20!

MATT: You don’t have advantage on checking for traps.

LIAM: Oh, I thought you said I did.

MATT: No, for making the checks you do. This is for dexterity, checking for traps is a perception roll.

LIAM: Perception’s 20.

MATT: Okay. Bottom one, not trapped.

LIAM: All right. Dwarven in the middle. Checking for traps.

MATT: Go for it.

LIAM: 20.

MATT: That one is also not trapped.

LIAM: All right. That’s three, the fourth one was Primordial.

LAURA: Yes, and don’t–

LIAM: 20.

MATT: That one is trapped.

LIAM: And the Primordial said no.

MARISHA: Yeah. In their language it’s pronounced huh-gluf.

LIAM: But what does it mean? We’ve got three traps.

SAM: What the fuck is wrong with you? The ones that say no are trapped! How is this hard to understand?!

LIAM: That is 26, the last one.

MATT: The second one? The one that–

LIAM: That we don’t know what it is.

MATT: You’ve seen scribbles like this before. It appears to be some sort of goblinoid language but none of you actually understand what it says. Does appear to be trapped.

LIAM: Does appear to be trapped.

LAURA: How about you don’t unlock those ones.

TRAVIS: No, no, don’t tell him.

LIAM: I’m not alone, and this affects you, asshole.

ASHLEY: Unlock the ones that are not trapped.

MARISHA: You already popped the top lock and nothing happened, right?

LIAM: So there’s two that are trapped. I’m going to attempt to disarm the two that are trapped.

TRAVIS: Yeah, do that.

SAM: What are you doing?

LIAM: This affects you, you dark sword-wielding dick!

TRAVIS: No, I’m serious, you had a good thought!

SAM: Why would you do that? Do the ones that aren’t trapped first.

LIAM: Everybody wait, wait, wait, wait. Everybody please walk up the stairs ten feet, please.

ASHLEY: No!

LIAM: Yeah, walk up the stairs. Ten feet.

LAURA: I’m walking away.

LIAM: You’re all gonna see it.

SAM: What are you doing?

LIAM: I’m gonna try to open the door, you little asshole. But I don’t want you to get burned while I get burned. SAM: I won’t be burned because you’re not gonna mess with the traps! Just do the ones that aren’t trapped!

TRAVIS: I walk forward and I grab Scanlan and everybody and I back everybody up ten feet.

LAURA: Try the ones that aren’t trapped first, please?

SAM: All right. I’m gonna quickly inspire him. I’m gonna read him a limerick.

MATT: Go for it.

SAM: I knew a goliath in Whitestone Who lived in a very, very fine home 'Til one day a wizard, or maybe a large lizard Burned it and left him alone.

LIAM: Okay. So of the five at the top and the bottom and the middle, it’s Abyssal, Abyssal, Dwarven. And I checked those for traps and there aren’t any so I’m gonna unlock them, all right. So for the top one.

SAM: You did the top already.

LIAM: Check for traps or?

ALL: You unlocked it.

MATT: You unlocked the top one. And the latch came open without a problem.

LAURA: Do the middle one.

LIAM: Can I use what I just rolled for the middle one?

TRAVIS: Make sure you disarm the other two.

LIAM: There’s too many people talking, I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know what’s going on. Yeah, I just rolled a ten twice, and that’s a 23.

MATT: 23? (clicking) The middle one opens. (creaking)

LIAM: Now the bottom one– shush!

MATT: Go for it.

LIAM: Okay. (laughs) 29.

MATT: 29. The bottom one you– It’s a different type of latch that’s actually a rod that pushes into the door. You manage to find a break in the wood where it’s split and you put an instrument and you pull the latch open. So those three are now currently unlocked.

LAURA: Try pushing the door.

TRAVIS: No, no, think of your team, make sure they’re all disarmed.

(laughter)

LIAM: So here’s where we don’t know what’s going on. We got number one, number three, and number five are untrapped, unlocked. Number two and number four are trapped, but I’m just pushing the door open?

LAURA: Do whatever you want to do.

LIAM: But I don’t have to make the decision on my own, because you’re all ten feet away from me.

LAURA: Try disarming them, sure, why not? Do your thing

TRAVIS: (singing) Follow your heart, don’t blow up your head to solve those fucking locks. Do it, man.

MARISHA: You’ve got advantage, so why not, fuck it.

MATT: Vax. What is your choice? What do you wish to do in this moment? You have three untrapped locks open, two locks that seem to be trapped. One of which said no.

LIAM: Yeah, I’m gonna open it.

MATT: You push the door open. As you push on the door, the two locks on there give no resistance. Seems they were both false locks and as the door opens you get the feeling that perhaps the traps were based on the attempt to pick them, or disarm.

LAURA: Good job, good job, brother.

ASHLEY: High five.

LIAM: No high fives.

ASHLEY: Just maybe– just like a touch then.

LIAM: Here.

ASHLEY: Okay.

(laughter)

MATT: You’re now looking into a familiar very dark hallway with very low light by a few torch sconces that just flicker. The material used to keep them burning, pretty low and the embers are starting to drift into a small pile of soot on the stone floor beneath them. You can smell the remaining smoke and scent of burning wood. To the right of you is a hallway that continues down to where Spireling Modeth once lived before you cut his head off. The doors are closed to that room and it curves off to the left down a long hallway. To the left of where you currently are, the hallway continues into darkness and turns around the corner into shadow.

LIAM: Okay, so there was a cell that we were in, and there was a larger room where we were surrounded by Modeth and a lot of people.

ASHLEY: But there were a lot of hallways

TALIESIN: Do we smell anything?

MATT: You smell the residue of burnt wood and tinder. Nothing beyond that.

LAURA: Do I see any tracks that look like they could have been from an elf, an old guy with some battle scars.

MATT: Make a survival check.

TRAVIS: Oh, I could do those too. Can I help her with that?

MATT: No. Sorry, her ranger tracking training is far beyond anything you as a barbarian have attempted. Though you are good at tracking naturally as a barbarian, you could attempt to make a roll on your own. But it wouldn’t be helping her with it.

LAURA: 21.

MATT: Okay. Looking about the stone floor, you do see scuff marks and where dust has been pushed aside by boots. Many footfalls have come through this area, but there’s no way to really ascertain any recent traffic or direction.

LAURA: I would have had to roll a 20, I bet.

LIAM: While we’re waiting, I’m gonna throw my hood over one shoulder and I’m gonna undo my sleeves so that– Oh, the Clasp is back here, isn’t it?

LAURA: Just take your shirt off. Show it to the world. I’m gonna cast Pass without a Trace on all of us.

MARISHA: So wait, are there two different directions?

MATT: Yeah, so the right or the left.

MARISHA: Can I ascertain if there’s any type of draft or any–?

MATT: Percival already tried that.

MARISHA: Oh, you already tried?

LIAM: So, here’s what I’m thinking. I mean, we could sneak through here and this one’s going to sound like a herd of–

LAURA: Not necessarily. I just cast Pass Without a Trace.

SAM: Don’t disparage her, she’s wonderful and beautiful.

LIAM: Our chances of sneaking through here are low. I could try to talk us through. This guy’s a threat to them because the kingdom wants him and they’re housing him. And that is not really financially viable. So I feel like perhaps we talk our way out of this. We don’t have to go in banging an evil sword, not that we have one.

LAURA: Yeah, we’re down here, obviously we belong.

LIAM: I belong. And I will vouch for you.

LAURA: Beautiful. Let’s do it.

MARISHA: I definitely would rather not fight the entire thieves’ guild.

SAM: We’re not sneaking, then? 'Cause if we did sneak, we could– Don’t you have Fly or something?

LIAM: We’re in a very thin hallway right now.

SAM: All she’d have to do is fly just off the-

LAURA: I’ve got no flying. I used my only flying potion.

SAM: All right. All right, so we’re talking our way out of it?

LIAM: I’m gonna call out. I’m calling out, “Member of the Clasp entering. I need to parlay.”

MATT: A moment passes and you see stepping out of both sides of the hallway a number of hooded figures. Five. Ten. 15 individuals then begin to close in, all hoods up, cloaks around them, you can see through the dim light the crest of chins. Those of you that have darkvision, you can see some features, they all are humanoid, around human height, a few that are smaller, whether they be younger or halfling or gnomish in origin, you can’t really make out their details in this circumstance, but they all close in as you guys all stand there in the center of the hallway.

LIAM: I do start unlacing, and I say, I’m one of you. And I show the tattoo on my back.

MATT: As this happens, you can see there’s a part in the crowd, and one much larger than the rest of the members of the Clasp steps forward, pushing others out of the way. You see a very thick square jaw piercing out from underneath the shadowed hood, and the hand pulls it back and as you can now see the crooked pointed ears, snarling nose and underbite of a mostly orcish half-orc, one you’ve encountered once before–

LIAM: It’s Modeth?

MATT: No, no. Modeth was human, you killed Modeth. The orc steps forward and looks about the group and goes, (grunts) “Seems like you stumbled into an early grave.”

LIAM: I didn’t stumble, I’ve been here before. I’ve a fucked up past with this organisation but I’ve come to tell you– And I’m pointing at the tattoo.

MATT: He reaches out and grabs your arm and spins you around to look at the tattoo on your back violently. Like a ragdoll. You’re being treated like a child. (grunts) Releases you for a second, as you fall off-balance for a second but catch yourself. He has his other hand at his belt side, and you can see what looks to be the the pommel of the dagger at the ready and he goes–

LIAM: Sovereign Uriel knows you have Daxio here. Uriel wants him. You are in danger. This whole organization is in danger with him here.

MATT: “Silence! Who else knows you’re here?”

LAURA: Not a soul.

MATT: “Wait a second. I do know you. Customs department, wasn’t it?”

SAM: I’ve been promoted since then. I’m now a supervisor of– it was a ruse. I apologise for it.

MATT: “As we found out. So you break back into our facility–”

LAURA: We didn’t exactly break in, we just kind of– I’m just shutting up.

SAM: He’s a member of the Clasp. He gained entry the way that you do.

MATT: “He brings in outsiders after being warned not to return with them. Yet you say you are here for a– who was it?”

LIAM: Do you care that the Emperor knows you’re holding a person he wants?

MATT: “He won’t be held for long. You can tell the Emperor he’s not a worry of ours soon.”

LAURA: Where’s he going?

LIAM: He’s a traitor to the kingdom. Uriel wants him, you are bringing danger upon this house.

MATT: “Uriel’s useless.”

LAURA: Uriel has a lot of gold and will probably give a reward.

MATT: (laughs) “We have our hand in their coffers whether we get a reward or not.”

SAM: Not the kind of reward he’s already offering you. We come bearing an offering from Sovereign Uriel himself in exchange for this man. I reach into my bag and I produce–

ASHLEY: No gold. No money.

SAM: The very elegantly carved box I had made that contains the magical blue shard that we discovered many, many years ago, and I open it just for a moment and close it and say, this is the Shard of Kara. It is a magical item that can grant the user one wish, any wish.

LAURA: But Scanlan, you said we were going to keep that for ourselves.

SAM: I did. But it’s clear that this man knows who we are and why we’ve come.

LAURA: No.

SAM: As a last resort we are cleared to offer this to you in exchange for your prisoner, or is he– are you holding him as a prisoner or–?

MATT: He shushes you. Make a deception check.

LAURA: Can I help him? Can I assist that?

MATT: You know what, you would be, so go ahead and that would give you advantage on this, so–

SAM: Deception or persuasion?

MATT: This is deception.

SAM: 32.

TALIESIN: What in the living–

MATT: “Let me see your box.”

LAURA: Oh, well.

MATT: “Hush!”

SAM: It is activated by a secret chant that we will only tell you once we are safe and the prisoner– or keep– I don’t know. Are you keeping him as a prisoner or–

MATT: He waves his hand and shushes you.

SAM: All right, as soon as we get the man, you get the chant.

MATT: “Daxio, huh? (huffs) He just paid us a rather large sum of money to produce documentation and acquire transit to Ank'harel. We’ve kept him here while we’ve prepared his documentation and we’re to send him on his way through our tunnels to the docks. So you’re asking us to betray a client of the Clasp?”

LIAM: And avoid the hammer of the Empire.

TRAVIS: And keep the money at the same time.

MARISHA: Sounds to me like you just won twice.

MATT: He reaches his hand out for the box.

SAM: Where is he? Where is he? All right, here. You can inspect it, scan it for magic if you’d like.

MATT: Takes the box and hands it to one of his compatriots, who takes it and inspects it and pulls out a small glass, puts it over his eye–

MARISHA: Can I Druidcraft a little bit and Druidcraft a little bit of breeze seeping from the box?

TALIESIN: I pull out a small note that I hold in my right hand.

MATT: Make a sleight-of-hand check.

MARISHA: Sleight of hand?

LAURA: Ah, damn it.

MARISHA: Oh! Did you see that? That was awesome. 21.

MATT: 21. You mutter beneath your breath and swivel your hand for a second as he hands– the other individual inspecting it with the glass monocle looking piece. (whoosh) Wind drifts around it and you can see the wood itself almost shimmer as if the grain of the wood is moving in a pattern.

TALIESIN: I hold up a beautiful elegant note that I show in my hand and put it in my breast pocket.

MATT: “Very well. We have him in holding, awaiting his documents. I’ll show you. I’ll leave the door open, we’ll clear the halls. Do what you must. We will not be involved. You have an hour.”

LAURA: That’s all we need.

MATT: “What is your password?”

TALIESIN: Once he is free, then you get– in our custody, then you get the note.

LAURA: We’ll leave it outside the door.

MATT: (chuckles) He puts his hand like this and other individuals of the Clasp back out and leave into the hallway behind you and he leads you to follow him and–

MARISHA: I say, careful. Do not open that box without the password or else it will melt your eyeballs from inside your head.

(laughter)

MATT: Make a deception check.

TRAVIS: Unnecessary.

LAURA: He was going for it!

LIAM: We had the mark!

SAM: Is this deception, what is this?

MARISHA: 11.

MATT: He takes a few steps and turns and looks at you.

MARISHA: You never know, it acts in mysterious ways.

MATT: (box lid creaks)

MARISHA: Oh, shit!

MATT: Opens the box. Inspects the piece of blue crystal–

MARISHA: Can I Druidcraft a gust coming out of it?

MATT: I would not recommend it.

MARISHA: Okay!

MATT: He looks over at the gentleman who inspected it earlier and nods his head. “Accepted.” And they continue walking forward.

TRAVIS: Lucky fucking druid.

MATT: It is the piece you put in the actual–

SAM: It’s a blue shard that we found in– long, long ago– it’s real crystal and it’s real magic.

MATT: Yes. I know what that is.

SAM: Because I don’t.

MATT: Well, it was sufficient upon inspection for this.

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: Whoa, I think it opens a portal to another plane.

SAM: I don’t know what it is, but it’s magic.

MARISHA: Is it the one we got at last Winter’s Crest? That one? The one that we were using shards of it to carve through dimensions? Cool.

MATT: It had a few uses. So as you guys move into the hallway, a bunch of the Clasp members leave, you’re led down a couple of doors on the left and right. You guys recognize these, these are the holding cells that you guys were held shortly after your battle.

ASHLEY: Yep, we were held in these cells.

MATT: So the cell on the left is closed, the cell on the right is closed. He walks up to that cell, and without even a bit of noise pulls out a keyring, unlocks it and puts the keys away. (grunts) Turns around and the rest of the Clasp scatter out of the hallway. He puts the box away in his cloak and he says, “One hour. Do as you must.”

LIAM: I take the keys. We’ve got two to choose from?

MATT: He’s at the door. He unlocked one for you guys.

LIAM: No, no. But there’s two cells? Or has he opened the cell that he’s in?

MATT: There are three cells in this hallway. The middle cell is the one that he led you to and unlocked for you.

LIAM: Okay, thanks.

MATT: And he steps away, looks at the rest of you guys–

TRAVIS: There are five blocks on each side.

MATT: – and then vanishes down the hallway. So it’s now just you guys in this hallway.

LAURA: Did you give him the password?

TALIESIN: I have not given him the password yet.

MATT: No, because he already opened the box.

LIAM: Daxio, we’ve got your papers, c'mon.

MATT: I just, because I foresee something possibly happening here.

LAURA: I think we were saying the password made it work.

TRAVIS: I think he knows we’re full of shit.

LAURA: I think he knows it’s super powerful magic anyway and he doesn’t give a shit and he’s taking it anyway.

TALIESIN: That’s good, because man, this was some bullshit.

MATT: So. All right. So, you guys are all gathered in this hallway. Who is standing where?

TALIESIN: Where did he leave from?

MATT: You guys entered this direction and they scattered this way.

LIAM: I’m going to lock eyes with Grog and motion him towards one side of the door, and I’m gonna take the other.

LAURA: Can you Wall of Stone the other side of the hallway? Just to block them from coming down that hallway again. Can you block, Wall of Stone that other side?

MARISHA: I’m going to go ahead and block in the entryway for good measure.

MATT: Right here?

LAURA: I thought the one he left through.

MATT: Okay, they left this way. Okay, so you wall this off?

MARISHA: Yeah. Why not?

MATT: There is now a wall of stone in the middle of that hallway.

SAM: Hope we don’t have to leave that way, but she can just dispel it.

MARISHA: I mean, we can get it out.

MATT: All right, so, who is standing where? Is there any particular placement you guys wish to–

TRAVIS: Vax and I are on either side of the door.

MATT: All right, so you guys are here. All right.

MARISHA: So is this leading into something crazy?

LAURA: Into his cell.

MARISHA: Into a labyrinth? Or just his cell?

MATT: As far so you know, a cell.

MARISHA: As far as we know, just a cell.

LAURA: He just completely took an expensive thing and left us to rot, pretty much, I think.

MATT: Anyone else want to change this arrangement?

TRAVIS: We are in a giant death cluster. How about we spread out a touch? Like two people to a door in that hallway.

SAM: All right, I’ll take the other door.

TALIESIN: I’ll take the other door.

LAURA: I’ll go down with Scanlan on the other one so I can ranged attack–

TRAVIS: I’m just saying, if he took out a magical spectacle and knows we’re full of shit, we’re all gonna die.

LAURA: I’m gonna stand with my back against the wall that she’s built up. Like that, yeah.

MARISHA: Did half-orc dude say he was just in this cell? That’s all he said?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: They essentially unlocked the cell, they’re walking away, they’re turning their heads and letting you do what you want.

ASHLEY: How do we know that’s the one that he’s in?

LIAM: We don’t.

TALIESIN: Let’s find out.

SAM: Why don’t you go in and kill some shit?

MATT: Everyone’s good with this arrangement?

MARISHA: Is there any other entrances or anything else around?

MATT: There’s just this door and this door and they’re both currently–

MARISHA: Fine, go for it.

LIAM: And I called out already.

TRAVIS: I would like to rage.

MATT: Okay. Let us go ahead for the sake of this, roll initiative depending on what happens going forward just so we have that.

SAM: Just in case, eh?

TRAVIS: Just because I have a fear of construction paper. Advantage.

TALIESIN: What did construction paper do to you?

TRAVIS: What did it not do?

MATT: All right so. 25 to 20?

LIAM: 25.

TALIESIN: 25.

LAURA: 26.

MATT: 20 to 15?

TRAVIS: 17.

MATT: 15 to ten?

MARISHA: 14.

SAM: 14.

MATT: And what did Ashley get?

TRAVIS: Nine. Of course.

MATT: Okay. I would expect nothing less.

TALIESIN: I like to think that she looks both ways before attacking just to see–

MATT: All right, so. You rage.

TRAVIS: I rage.

MATT: Who’s doing what now?

MARISSA: Vax is our point man.

LIAM: We’re both at the door and I called out, so I guess we’ll wait a moment to see if he’ll–

MATT: A moment passes.

TRAVIS: You want to check? I can open the door.

LIAM: Well, I already went stealth earlier too, I got a 25 on the stealth check. I can go again if you want.

MATT: Do you want to try and stealth in the room?

LIAM: If we wait like 30 seconds and nothing happens.

MATT: Nothing happens, yeah. Okay, make another stealth check.

LIAM: No. 21. I’m doing nothing, I’m just standing in place.

TRAVIS: He thinks you’re going in.

MATT: So, as you push in the doorway, quietly, you see, for a moment inside, you can see there’s a little bit of light from overheard in the room that lights it up. You see in the distance what looks to be a latrine in the far corner, and as soon as you peek in the doorway, you glance out the side of your eyeline, and you immediately see a figure, and a flash of metal.

LIAM: Okay, I’ll use Uncanny Dodge, then.

MATT: All right.

LIAM: Unless it’s an area effect. If it’s an area effect I’ll use Evasion.

MATT: No, it is a direct attack, as a giant metallic glaive comes down to you. That is going to be a 19 to hit.

LIAM: That hits.

MATT: All right. That is 18 points of piercing. I’m sorry, slashing damage.

LIAM: Nine points with the Uncanny Dodge.

MATT: Okay. At this point now you reveal the interior, and right here at the door, you see there, standing, Daxio right before you. Armored up, sweat on the brow, holding what looks to be a large glaive, a halberd-type weapon with a giant bladed tip, which (whack) strikes you and gets back in defensive position. “You! I knew it.”

LAURA: Isn’t he old?

MATT: Daxio’s a mature elf.

LIAM: Can I move and then hold my turn? Can I move at all? Hold the actions?

MATT: You’ve moved in, you could ready your action if you’d like.

LIAM: Yeah, that’s what I’m saying, could I just use my movement and then wait?

MATT: You could if you’d like.

LIAM: Yeah. That’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to circle around and I’m never going to leave him. I’m going to go all the way around, circle him, and then wait. And then my trigger is when Grog steps up to him.

MATT: You can’t move through other creatures. In this place and area–

LIAM: Oh, I can’t go around him?

MATT: No, he has you blocked off at the doorway, and has like squared off with you right now, with the glaive.

LIAM: Is Grog considered five feet away from him?

MATT: Grog is considered five feet away from you, yes.

LIAM: Oh. Then I’m going to sneak attack him.

MATT: Not five feet away from him.

LIAM: From me?

MATT: In order to sneak attack a creature, you have to have an ally adjacent to the enemy, not to you. The idea is, they’re being harried by two different points and can’t form a good defense.

LIAM: Okay, all right. Then I’m going to use Disengage, I’m going to step five feet back. I’m going to use one action to click my Boots of Haste. And then can I attack, because the boots are on, after that? Then I’ll throw a dagger at him.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: That is a 24.

MATT: 24 does hit.

LIAM: All right. 11 from the Keen Dagger.

MATT: All right. Cool.

MATT: All right. We have now officially, as of this moment, entered combat. You technically would be next in the initiative round at this point, but you’re holding your action until– what are you holding your action until?

LIAM: I was only going to do that if you told me that I could move around him, now that I know that I can’t–

MATT: All right, you did that, okay. Okay, never mind. Gotcha. All right, cool. So that will be, in theory, the first opening to the battle. Now we start the initiative order. All right. So now we’re starting off. Vex, you’re up first.

LAURA: I call out: Daxio, don’t be a moron. Step outside and lower your weapon, you’re surrounded.

MATT: Make an intimidation check.

SAM: You were using your deep voice, so you could–

LAURA: My deep voice!

SAM: You could get advantage.

LAURA: To intimidate him more. 13.

MATT: 13. Okay. You shout it out, and it echoes through the hallway. Who knows if it’s landed or had an effect, you can’t see him from your current perspective.

LAURA: Should I walk forward or should I keep–

TRAVIS: He’s in there by himself, and no other are enemies.

LAURA: I mean, as far as we know.

SAM: Why don’t you check the other door?

LIAM: Whoever’s in there is locked in there.

LAURA: Yeah. I’m just going to– I’m going to stay where I am, I guess.

MATT: All righty. So you stay there. Next up is Vax and Percy.

LIAM: I’m going to disengage and back up against the back wall–

MATT: You’ve already disengaged.

LIAM: Already have? All right, so I’m going to back up and hold.

MATT: Okay. So you back up– You notice at this point, as you step five feet back that that weapon he’s carrying is pretty long and has a pretty decent reach. You may have to disengage to get out of there without taking another strike.

LIAM: But if I were to go left or right, would I be out of range of hitting him because of the doorway?

MATT: You would be over here, probably, yeah.

LIAM: So if I move sideways either way I can’t hit him?

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: So I’m not going to do that. I’m going to just step back against the back wall and hold.

MATT: Are you using your disengage action or not?

LIAM: Was I within five feet of him?

Yes, I’m going to use disengage.

MATT: Okay. So you use your bonus action to disengage. Because you’re not used to fighting these long polearm weapons, as you begin to take another step back, you realize he can actually hit you from further away than you expect.

LAURA: Oh! Can I have used my bonus action to hide?

MATT: Sure. Go ahead and roll stealth. All right, and now you’re going to go ahead and–

LAURA: Natural 20.

MATT: Okay. You vanish. Hold until what? What do you want to be the trigger?

LIAM: Until Grog steps in.

MATT: Okay. All right, next up is Percy.

TALIESIN: Is there a grille on that door? Any kind of–

MATT: No, it is a solid door.

TALIESIN: It is a solid door.

MATT: It is currently open, but–

TALIESIN: Oh, no, I mean on the door that I’m next to.

MATT: Oh, no, that is closed. That is a solid door.

TALIESIN: I’m going to hold– I’m going to stay where I am and hold my action until I see somebody I want to shoot in the hallway.

MATT: Okay. Good to know. All right, that brings us to Grog.

TRAVIS: I bellow out: you’re in for the fight of your life if you don’t drop your polearm. The next thing that hits the ground if you don’t will be your skull.

MATT: Are you using your action to intimidate?

TRAVIS: Yes.

MATT: Okay. Go ahead and roll an intimidate check.

SAM: Don’t you have some sort of intimidate thing?

MATT: He’s not in a frenzied rage, though.

TRAVIS: No, but I’ll take Craven Edge out and leave him unsheathed, which gives me an advantage on intimidation checks.

17.

MATT: 17. Okay. You can see now, with the blade forward, sweat dripping down his face, this look of a cornered animal, and as the sword comes out with a ringing sound in the air, the shadows coalesce around the black obsidian blade. He gives you a look and he’s questioning his current circumstance, but seems to be holding firm.

TRAVIS: What do I have left of my turn? Anything?

MATT: You have your bonus action and your move.

TRAVIS: Bonus action. Bonus action. What’s a bonus action? What can I do?

LAURA: I don’t know what you can do.

MATT: If you’re in frenzied rage it would be another attack, but–

TRAVIS: No, that makes me tired as shit. No, I won’t do anything else.

MATT: Okay, you stay there? All righty. Now being his turn, Daxio is just going to curve around the side, looking at you with the glaive in position, responding to your intimidating act. Takes the blade and swirls it around and goes for your legs. So, that’s going to be a 21 to hit.

TRAVIS: That’ll hit.

MATT: All righty. This is going to be, as the glaive sweeps under your legs, trying to gash across, that’s eight points of slashing damage.

TRAVIS: Halved, because I’m raging.

MATT: Plus an additional five points from his superiority die.

TRAVIS: From his what?

SAM: Superiority.

MATT: He’s attempting to trip you. Go ahead and make a strength saving throw.

TRAVIS: Do I have–

MATT: Ability checks, not your saving throws.

TRAVIS: Strength checks and strength saving throws, advantage.

MATT: Is that what it says?

TRAVIS: Yeah. Advantage on all strength checks and strength saving throws.

MATT: Then yeah, you would have advantage on this.

TRAVIS: Haha. 26.

MATT: 26. You stand firm in your position. The blade strikes and gashes open a part of your shin, but you just hold your place there, leaning against the wall for support. Doesn’t affect you.

TRAVIS: So 13 total halved, so seven?

MATT: Mm-hm. Next is going to– You know what, he’s going to go ahead and attempt to strike you two more times. That is going to be a 16 to hit?

TRAVIS: Misses.

MATT: And this one is going to take a minus five on that one. That was a– Oh, okay. All right, that’s 24.

TRAVIS: That’ll hit.

MATT: All right. This is going to be a Great Weapon Master strike. So this is 20 points of slashing damage, halved to ten. And is going to hold firm in his current position, daring anyone to come near, yeah. Holding this pincher point. Keyleth, you’re up.

MARISHA: Okay, I’m going to peek around Grog, and try and cast Hold Person on him.

MATT: Okay. What’s the DC on that?

MARISHA: 18. Just my spell DC, right?

MATT: Okay. Well, that is 17. However, he is going to use Indomitable to reroll a saving throw.

MARISHA: Aw.

MATT: That is going to be a 20. So as you finish the spell, you can see his head beginning to be affected and he shrugs it off through sheer force of will. Anything else you want to do on your turn?

TALIESIN: This guy’s annoying.

MARISHA: No. Ah! Yes!

MATT: Okay. That ends Keyleth’s turn. Scanlan, you’re up.

MARISHA: I just said yes. No, wait, I don’t have it, I don’t have it. Nope. Never mind. No! Go.

MATT: Scanlan, what are you doing?

SAM: I can’t see him yet or I can?

MATT: No, not right now. You just see this blade going (whoosh whoosh) out the doorway.

SAM: And I saw Keyleth cast that spell, yeah?

MATT: Correct, yes.

SAM: I run up a little closer to be in visual range, yeah?

MATT: There you can see him, yeah.

SAM: And I will do the same fucking thing. And I’ll cast Hold Person on him as well, with my Hand Cone of Clarity.

MATT: Your hand cone. That is a natural one.

(cheering)

MATT: He’s going to use his other use of Indomitable to attempt to reroll that.

SAM: He has two?!

MATT: Two, but this is his last one. That brings him to a 19.

SAM: 19.

MATT: Just beats your DC.

MARISHA: He has to make a wisdom saving throw.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Oh, is that what he was doing against my spell save? Is that what it is?

SAM: Damn.

MATT: Wait, no. That is a 17. Sorry, I misdid the math. So it does go through him. So as you finish the Hold Person, he (groans) locks up into place, tense, his eyes darting around with an angry fury. Anything else you want to do?

SAM: I will, with my bonus, can I talk to him?

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: I will say: hey man! Just give up already. Come on! Come on! That’s my intimidation.

MATT: Make an intimidation check.

SAM: 21.

MATT: 21. He seems visibly shaken by the presence of the two of you and the fact that he can’t move right now. That’s the best I can give you at the moment.

LAURA: Can we take his weapon from him since he can’t move?

MATT: All right. That ends your turn, I believe. Pike.

ASHLEY: Okay. Can I intimidate him to give me his weapon?

SAM: He can’t move.

ASHLEY: He can’t move? Can I go up and try to take his weapon?

MATT: If you want to. One, two, three, four, five. So you step up into the hallway. And you walk up to him and he’s looking at you, sweat dripping down his face, hair matted across the side of his chin.

LAURA: Do it, Pike!

MARISHA: Do it.

MATT: What are you doing?

ASHLEY: Please give me your weapon.

(laughter)

MATT: Roll an intimidation check.

SAM: Get more flies with honey.

ASHLEY: Fuck. Well, it’s probably not going to work with a four.

MATT: With a four? The eyes– Though frozen, he still manages to roll his eyes, as the armored gnome walks up and requests his weapon, and is no longer paying attention.

ASHLEY: Can I just take it from him?

MATT: Go ahead and make a strength check. Just roll and add your strength modifier.

LAURA: That’s good.

ASHLEY: 18.

LAURA: Oh wait, it might be higher than that. No.

ASHLEY: 18?

MATT: 18. You go and grab and all the muscles tensed up, it’s like a vice grip, and as you pull and pull and pull, to no avail. You’re unable to wrestle it from his grasp. That ends your turn. Back up. Vex.

LAURA: All right. I guess I walk– Look at us all bunched up in this little hall.

MATT: Yeah. This is a bad circumstance for a party.

LAURA: I’m going to stay where I am. And I’m going to just call out: you’re being really stupid, obviously. You are outnumbered. You are frozen. You should probably just, you know, give up.

ASHLEY: You have him held?

SAM: He’s held. And also, we probably can’t tell if he’s giving up because he probably can’t talk.

LAURA: Okay, until Grog. I want to hold my action until Grog gets him to move. Until he moves out of–

MATT: Okay. What action do you want to hold? What are you going to do?

LAURA: Do I have to say what I’m going to–

MATT: I want to know what you’re readying, essentially.

LAURA: I want to, if anything attacks us, I want to be able to attack it.

MATT: Okay. Good to know. Same, Percy? All right. Then Vax, same?

LIAM: I’m going to wait to see what Grog does. As soon as Grog’s done, I’m throwing.

MATT: Grog, what are you doing?

TRAVIS: Can I squeeze by Pike, or do I need to pick her up and move her out of the way?

MATT: Technically, being held doesn’t threaten the square and you can probably walk around Pike, so you can get into the room. I’d say right now, because he can’t really defend it or keep you at bay with his weapon.

TRAVIS: Walk, that’s cute. I would like to run past Pike and bear-form tackle him.

MATT: Okay! All right, so we’re doing a full–

TRAVIS: Full shoulder in the gut, wrapping my arms around his legs, picking him up and throwing him on the ground.

LAURA: Don’t you wish we had Trinket now?

SAM: Oh, it’s like football drills? Running into a– What are those things called?

TRAVIS: Guy’s standing up and you’re just driving into him with your whole body mass.

LIAM: Why do we need Trinket? We have a small giant.

MATT: All right. Go ahead and make an athletics check.

TRAVIS: Okay. Yes! 19.

MATT: 19? That’s fine. He can’t even defend at this point. So you push him back five feet and you manage to push your way into this and shove him further into the room.

TRAVIS: But not to the ground?

MARISHA: He wanted to take him to the ground.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I wanted to tackle him and be on top of him.

MATT: Yeah, you know what (impact sound), on the ground and you are right over, lording the space. Okay. That all you’re going to do on your turn?

TRAVIS: I can’t attack, right? That’s all I got?

TALIESIN: You can move.

TRAVIS: No. I’ll stay there.

LIAM: Are we able to tell from what Grog just did what he does? Does he react, does he just go (grunts).

MATT: He just falls over, because he can’t move his muscles.

LAURA: Can we move his muscles or is he frozen?

SAM: You mean use him like Weekend at Bernie’s?

LAURA: Can we handcuff him while he’s frozen?

MARISHA: That’s what I was going to say. Can we tie him? Tie him up?

MATT: You can attempt to if you get to him on your turn.

ASHLEY: Hog-tie him.

MATT: Grog, you finish your turn? Comes to Daxio’s turn. Daxio’s attempting to resist. That’s a natural 20.

LAURA: Weren’t you holding your turn until Grog moved him?

LIAM: Until Grog did his thing. Yeah, but I wanted to see what happened. So it would be after this.

MATT: Right. So as Daxio is on the ground, muscles lax for a second and looks up at you and can’t do anything, because that was his turn, but is no longer seemingly affected by the ability. And just looks up at you with eyes flicking around with thoughts and trying to formulate a plan here.

TRAVIS: Yeah, like what you see, don’t you?

MATT: Vax, what did you want to do?

LIAM: All right. So I’m hasted, because I did the boots, so I’m going to use Haste to climb through my friends, over Pike, under Grog’s legs, and I’m going to– I’m going to flip daggers over and I’m going to bean this guy in the face a couple of times. Should be a Sneak Attack the first time, because of Grog being there.

MATT: Make an acrobatics check.

LIAM: All right. That is 30.

MATT: 30? Landing on the opposite side of the room. On the other side of Daxio. You jump off of Grog’s back, land, and go for your attack.

LIAM: All right. I’m going to blunt-edge him three times.

MATT: You have advantage on these attacks, because he’s currently prone on the ground.

LIAM: So the first one is a natural 20. That’s also sneak attack, so that doesn’t get quadrupled, does it? It’s already doubled from sneak attack.

MATT: Correct. Well, no, no. It’s doubled because it’s a critical hit. That’s all.

LAURA: Oh right. Sneak Attack you just get the additional six, remember?

LIAM: Yeah. Okay. So– And then the second one is a 23.

MATT: 23? Both hit.

LIAM: Okay. And did I use all my movement to climb through the scrum or do I have my third attack?

MATT: The movement wouldn’t affect your attack at all. Your movement is just your movement action.

LIAM: So I do have a third attack, then?

MATT: You would in theory, yes.

LIAM: Okay, so that’s 17.

MATT: 17 does hit, yes.

LIAM: Okay. So the first one, blunt, using the end, is–

LAURA: And then add your six.

LIAM: 11. Two, three, seven, ten, 15, 19.

MATT: 19 times two.

LIAM: 19 times two, right, is 38. Plus the seven, so 46 for the first.

MATT: 46 points of damage.

LIAM: That’s blunt, though. And two plus six is eight on the second. And seven on the third.

MATT: All right, got it. So as you slam the daggers into each side of his head, you can see, cracking the side of the temple, blood beginning to pour out the side of where the impact hit. He’s staggered momentarily from the impact, but after the third strike hit, manages to bring the glaive up to try and defend himself at this point. That would be it. That ends your turn, that brings us–

LIAM: Did I use all my movement to get there. All of it?

MATT: You could try and get away if you like. With Haste you would have more movement, yeah.

LIAM: I’ll take– I’ll go back ten feet. See what happens. He’s on his back, so he could probably take a swing at me.

MATT: He tries to, but it’s with disadvantage.

LIAM: All right. Yeah.

MATT: Yeah, rolled a two. That (whoomph) hits the tile. All right, that brings us to Keyleth.

MARISHA: He’s down on the ground?

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: (gasps)

MARISHA: I was going to say, I can. Okay. Yeah, I’ll go ahead and vine him.

MATT: Grasping Vine? To where?

MARISHA: To– Oh, right, because it’s got to be against a wall.

TRAVIS: It can’t be the ground?

MARISHA: Can it be the ground?

MATT: It can probably be the ground if you want to, yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah, can I essentially just entangle him into the ground?

MATT: Sure. Let’s give it a shot. So fourth level Grasping Vine. All right. Dexterity saving throw, which he has a disadvantage on. That is a failure. All right. So is now (groans) and–

TALIESIN: While prone.

MARISHA: Yeah, he’s down.

TALIESIN: That’s hot.

MATT: So, technically, the spell doesn’t grapple, it just pulls things towards it. It just moves things around the battlefield.

MARISHA: Yeah, that’s right.

MATT: So the vine pulls him closer to the ground.

MARISHA: Can I do Entangle instead and just do a concentrated Entangle?

MATT: Entangle would affect the entire floor of that room. Yeah, Grasping Vine– The vine’s around him, you don’t know how much of an effect it’ll have when it comes to his turn, but you’ll find out.

LAURA: It may help.

SAM: You did great!

MATT: It was also your bonus action. You can still use your action to cast another second level if you wanted to.

SAM: Cast Speak with Animals.

LAURA: Commune with Nature.

MARISHA: I mean, I can try and Hold Person him again. Do we want to do that? I can Hold Person him again.

SAM: We want to hear what he has to say, I think, at this point.

MARISHA: Can I do a Druidcraft, Matt? A Druidcraft where I druidcraft a vine around his ankles?

MATT: Sure.

MARISHA: Oh, okay, cool.

MATT: Out of the Grasping Vine, a little vine goes around the legs. It’s more of a grapevine. A really pretty to grow plant life on.

MARISHA: A grapevine? Grapevines are pretty hard.

TRAVIS: A white or red grapevine?

MATT: A red one. Okay, Scanlan, you’re up.

SAM: Me? Jesus. Hey! Hey, dude! Come on! Can you give up, please? Can you please give up? I’m just going to intimidate him again.

MATT: Okay. Roll an intimidation check.

LAURA: Come on! Roll so high.

SAM: Ah, that was a dead roll. That was the same roll, but not wonky. This is intimidate? 22.

MATT: Okay. You get the sense now that these rounds of perpetual pressuring Daxio and now recovering his position in this fight and you guys have stepped into this room with him, he’s become less of a sensible individual and more of a desperate man lashing out as a last stand. And your intimidation shouts are falling upon deaf ears.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: Does that end your turn?

SAM: I don’t know. Is that my action?

MATT: I’d say because you’re already there and shouting at him, it can be a bonus action. So if you want to take your action still.

SAM: I can’t do anything, I’m behind all those fucking people. Well, if we’re fighting then, I can’t do much. I will just– I will blind him this time.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Can I do that?

MATT: Sure.

SAM: I’ll blind him at a level three.

MATT: Ooh, level three blind.

TRAVIS: Blind him?

SAM: Blind.

TALIESIN: With science.

MATT: At level three just means you can target an additional creature.

SAM: I know, I just don’t have any level two slots.

MATT: Okay, so spend it. No worries. All right, so that’s a constitution saving throw. That is a 19.

SAM: That’s 19, so he saves.

MATT: Yeah, so he saves, unfortunately.

LAURA: This guy sucks.

SAM: Oh wait, I can blind one other person?

MATT: If you want to.

SAM: Nah, no, I won’t.

MATT: All right. Pike, you’re up.

ASHLEY: Oh, jeez. I don’t know what to do. So intimidating is not working?

LAURA: No.

ASHLEY: Can’t we just take him out of there now that he’s all tied up?

MATT: He’s not tied up. The vine grabbed around, but doesn’t appear to be really changing his physicality.

ASHLEY: Okay. Can I make, with my Spiritual Weapon, a sort of– holding like a–

MATT: It’s a weapon. Spiritual Weapon. Weapon’s in the name. What kind of weapon would you want to summon?

ASHLEY: I want to make a lasso again. A lariat. Maybe with a little stinger on the end. Just to listen.

MATT: All right, a little lasso there.

ASHLEY: So his arms–

MATT: Well, we’ll have to see.

ASHLEY: If it works.

MATT: So go ahead and roll and add your spell attack. It has advantage, because he’s prone still.

ASHLEY: That would be a natural 20.

(cheering)

MATT: He’s also now grappled.

ASHLEY: He’s also now grappled. Okay. Can the stinger go right here to his neck?

MATT: Sure. It’s right there. The spiritual energy wraps around the body. He’s held there, with the vine both holding him there. The stinger (swish) up over the throat.

LAURA: Brother. Come on. What are you gonna do?

TRAVIS: We take him the fuck out of here.

ASHLEY: Yeah, we got to take him out, yeah.

MATT: That the end of your turn?

ASHLEY: Yeah. But I can still– has he dropped his weapon? No?

MATT: The weapon’s still clutched to him and wrapped–

ASHLEY: Can I try to intimidate him with my extra bonus attack and tell him to drop his weapon?

MATT: You get the sense he can’t drop it, because he’s currently– everything’s wrapped up to him. Between the lasso and the vine. And intimidation doesn’t seem to affect him anymore.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LAURA: How long does the spiritual weapon last?

MATT: It’s concentration so can be a number of rounds as long as she uses her bonus action to maintain it.

ASHLEY: So concentrated.

MATT: Yes, I would recommend it. Vex?

LAURA: Me? Okay. Oh no, should I go in the room?

TALIESIN: Room’s kind of busy, in my opinion.

LAURA: I feel like I don’t want to. I just, okay. You know what? I’m gonna Hunter’s Mark him.

MATT: So you’re gonna get over– You still can’t see him at that distance, unfortunately.

LAURA: Seriously?

MATT: You’ve stayed at the far back. Um, so.

LAURA: Well then fuck it, I’m gonna just stay where I am.

TALIESIN: Yeah, let’s keep point.

LAURA: I’m gonna keep point. I’m gonna stay at the back of the hallway, just in case.

MATT: All right. Vax, Percy?

LAURA: Again, still hiding.

LIAM: Okay. I’ve still got daggers turned around. I’m gonna knock this fool out. Okay, yeah, and you guys are right on top of him so first one is– and advantage because he’s grappled and down, right?

MATT: Correct.

LIAM: So first one is 22. Second one is a natural 20. Third one is 20.

MATT: All right, so go for it. All three attacks hit.

LIAM: All right, so the first one is regular attack.

MATT: Well, you can’t choose which one is the sneak attack.

LIAM: Well, there is no sneak attack– oh yeah, yeah. I meant that the critical was on the second one. That’s what I meant.

MATT: Yeah, no worries.

LIAM: So the first one is 11 plus double this. 11 plus four, eight, 12, 15, 16, 22. So that’s 44 plus–

LAURA: You don’t double it.

LIAM: Oh, the second one’s the critical attack. Thank you. 22 plus seven is 30. I have three attacks! 31. Second one is– that’s easy. 14. And the third attack is ten. The second one was critical, but much smaller.

MATT: All right. (fighting sounds) You slam down on the face. You can see nose actually breaks under the blunt of the weapon and blood begins to pour out of his nostrils. And he’s fighting now and coughing up–

LAURA: Who’s gonna tie him up? Who’s in the fucking room?

LIAM: And I’m gonna jump back ten feet again.

LAURA: And pull him out of the room. Anyone?

MATT: And Percy, you’re holding?

TALIESIN: I’m holding.

MATT: All righty, Grog.

TRAVIS: I’m gonna take manacles out of the Bag of Holding. Since he’s holding– his arms are pinned to his chest. And I’m gonna clasp it on both of his wrists. And then I’m gonna pick that motherfucker up on my shoulder and walk out of the room. I’d like to try.

ASHLEY: And I can help.

MATT: You can, by just controlling it with your mind. So I will say, go ahead and make an athletics check, just to–

TRAVIS: Strength or athletics?

MATT: This’d be athletics. Athletics is better for you, technically.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it is. 20.

MATT: Yeah. You lift him over your shoulder, past Pike. Take him out into the hallway. You gonna keep him on your shoulder? Or slam him down?

TRAVIS: Yeah, I was gonna slam him into the wall.

MATT: Wham, whack, into the wall. Go ahead and roll 1d6 plus your strength modifier. For the sheer force of this, this near currently helpless individual slammed against the stone wall.

TRAVIS: Seven.

MATT: All right.

LAURA: Can I toss Grog my– some of the infinite rope and tell him to tie him up, tie up his ankles too.

MATT: As you’re holding? Sure. So Vex yells out to you and throws you the source of the infinite rope, you grab and begin to, if you want to, start tying up. All right.

ASHLEY: Loot tying? I mean, rage tying.

MATT: Rage tying.

(laughter)

MATT: All right, great. Now it comes to Daxio’s turn. He’s currently trying to resist the current grappling and your attempt to tie him. That’s gonna be a natural 20 on athletics check.

LAURA: Yeah, but he’s got his ankles tied up.

SAM: Not no more he don’t.

MATT: Yeah, the manacles are there. You turn was to lift him up and slam him into the wall, and you’re beginning to wrap him up. His turn immediately afterward is he breaks out of the lasso.

TRAVIS: The spirit weapon?

MATT: The spirit weapon lasso, and at that point, still manages to (grunts) get back with half the movement onto his feet.

TALIESIN: I can’t take my turn now, can I?

MATT: You can, after this. He still has the manacles on, which holding the polearm now wouldn’t do too much of a disadvantage to him. So I say this round it doesn’t do anything.

MARISHA: I know, it’d be a close grip.

MATT: The grip’s pretty tight.

LAURA: He wouldn’t be able to get a firm grip on the swing, it’d be like.

LIAM: Let him be a hardass.

MARISHA: As a fight– as a staff user that’s–

MATT: All right, so disadvantage on attacks with this. But they’re all against Keyleth.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Oh no.

MARISHA: You know what? Bring it, bitch.

MATT: All right. So Daxio gets up. Seeing Grog had taken the majority of the attacks and looking over at the druid that made the vine curl and drag him to the ground. Turns over and–

MARISHA: 'Sup?

MATT: Makes three strikes against you. The first one is going to be– all right, so that is a 15?

MARISHA: Miss.

MATT: All right. Second one– natural one on the second roll. Metal’s clinking against the wall. Third one– is going to be a 17?

MARISHA: 17 is exactly what he needed.

MATT: 17 does hit, all right. It’s going to try and trip-attack you, so you take as this third strike– 12 points of slashing damage. And make a strength saving throw.

MARISHA: 15.

MATT: 15. With that, slams it around and hits you right about the kneecap. The blade hits the armor and it guards most of it, but the sheer force of the impact knocks you off your feet and you land face-down on the ground, in front. With that, Daxio uses the momentum of the strike to and use the action surge ability. He’s gonna do three more strikes against your now-prone self. With disadvantage, and you’re prone so each attack has no disadvantage against you.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: That’s a natural 20.

LAURA: (gasps)

MATT: First one– and these are all Great Weapon Master. This one’s gonna be a 23. And this is gonna be a 18. And this one is a 21. So all three hit?

MARISHA: Uh-huh.

ASHLEY: I got you girl.

MARISHA: Is this all for that staff comment?

MATT: It’s pretty harsh. But also, given the circumstance that you were, from his perspective, the one that was trying to hold him in place too. And Grog hasn’t taken much visual impact from the blows. You’re the one that’s currently protecting him from rushing off in that direction. Say what you want. But anyway. That is–

(laughter)

MATT: 30 points of slashing damage from the first strike. That’s the critical.

MARISHA: Uh-huh. (laughs)

MATT: The next one is 24 points of slashing damage.

TALIESIN: Oh, god.

MATT: And this last one is 21 points of slashing damage.

ASHLEY: She’s out?

TALIESIN: No. She’s standing. Or I mean, she’s not, but–

MATT: That ends Daxio’s turn. You’re up, Keyleth.

TALIESIN: Oh wait!

MATT: Oh yeah, Percy, you’re making your action, that’s right.

TALIESIN: I’m gonna pull grit shot to the hands. With the new pistol.

LAURA: With the new weapon?

SAM: That might explode.

TALIESIN: That’s a 21 to hit.

MATT: That hits.

TALIESIN: All right, drop it.

MATT: Make a strength saving throw?

TALIESIN: Let me double-check.

MATT: No, I made a change to that, because– That’s gonna be a 21.

TALIESIN: Against my?

MATT: Against the DC for all your other abilities. So I’m pretty sure that he resists it.

TALIESIN: Against my DC?

MATT: Against your DC, yeah. So you take your first shot. It does damage– It does no damage, this is the–

TALIESIN: No, this does no damage. I don’t know what my DC is.

MATT: I think for this one, if I look at the change I made for the update on the gunslinger. Let me go ahead and check real fast. Stay with me folks.

SAM: Is this gun called Little Sparky?

MATT: It’s the arms you said, right?

TALIESIN: Hands, yeah.

MATT: Actually, no, I did not change this one. He doesn’t get a saving throw. He drops it, no damage.

(clapping)

MATT: So as Keyleth is on the ground being hacked by this glaive, he lifts up again for another brutal strike and (shooting sound) this echoing blast sound hits as the glaive is knocked out of his hands.

MARISHA: I just go to my earpiece and I go: Thank you, Percy.

TALIESIN: Did we– are we going to go with that discussion we had about the torso shot, or are we dropping that for now? Dropping it for now? Totally okay. In that case, I’m just going to take two sharpshooter shots to drag him down a little bit.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: That’s 18, 19, 20, 27 to hit.

MATT: 27 hits.

TALIESIN: That does– God, new gun, there we are. That’s six, 22 points of damage.

SAM: Yeah, Little Sparky.

TALIESIN: And that’s 17 to hit.

MATT: 17 to hit, yeah, just hits.

TALIESIN: And that’s 23 points of damage. And that’s all she wrote.

MATT: All right. How do you want to do this?

(gasps)

LAURA: Wait, wait, keep him alive.

TRAVIS: I don’t think we have a chance now.

TALIESIN: Well, we do.

MARISHA: Fucking dick, he deserves it.

TALIESIN: I want to take both of those shots, and try and graze his collarbones with both those shots. It’ll heal, but he’s gonna have a really hard time lifting his arms, for like the next couple months.

MATT: Okay. So with those shots (gunshot) a splash of blood with bits of splintered bone come shooting out of the half-plate armor he’s been wearing as the metal itself blows open from the impact of the first blast. With the glaive still clinking to the ground behind him and him reacting, the first impact sends him back and he leans against the wall, looks up to see the source of the impact. Looks into your eyes for a second and before he has a moment of reaction the second blast comes out (gunshot) shattering the other part of the clavicle. You can now see the armor sundered on each shoulder and blood beginning to pour over the sides of where the armor’s been torn. He slumps to the ground (groaning).

TALIESIN: You’re lucky. It’ll even heal.

MATT: (panting) “Do what you must. But I am his blood. His dominion will call back, call me back when everything else has fallen into nothing.”

LAURA: Are you talking about Dres– Vecna? Are you talking about Vecna?

MATT: (low chuckle)

LAURA: Oh, that’s a yes.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah, that didn’t go very well. I’m afraid you might be out of luck.

LIAM: We’ve got about 50 more minutes in here. What say we drag this asshole out of here?

LAURA: Let’s get this fucker out of here.

TALIESIN: Grog, tie him up! And let’s get you, do you need–?

MARISHA: Yeah, Keyleth gets up and bleeding from my mouth. And I just take him and I grab him by his face. and I just say: Fucking traitor. And I spit a big glob of blood in his face.

TALIESIN: And she’s the nice one.

MARISHA: It’s true. (laughs)

TRAVIS: I pick him up, I put him over my shoulder and we start to walk out of the hall.

ASHLEY: And I’m gonna heal Keyleth.

MATT: Okay. He’s– in the process of you tying him up and jostling him over, he falls pretty much nearly unconscious. He’s fading in and out of consciousness right now. Every now and then you feel a little chuckle come out of him on your shoulder. (dark chuckle) and then passes out again.

TALIESIN: I pick up the glaive also.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Wait, what was I at? 30.

MATT: All right. Keyleth, you heal 30 points.

MARISHA: Oh, that’s very good.

MATT: What do you do now?

LIAM: Let’s get the fuck out of here.

MATT: With Daxio over your shoulder, you guys quickly head back into the hallway, emptied, the doorway still lies open as you guys left it. And– LIAM: I get that piece of chalk and in thieves’ cant I’m going to write on the wall: Much appreciated, Uriel sends his regards, V.

MATT: All right, okay. You close the door behind you.

TRAVIS: Do we want to check those other rooms?

LAURA and LIAM: No.

SAM: Oh, what about the room he was in?

LIAM: No.

SAM: What do you mean no? What if he had– he had stuff to travel with.

LAURA: That’s true, he had a lot of money with him.

TALIESIN: I’ll do a quick rummage of it. Very quick.

MATT: All right. Make an investigation roll.

LAURA: I’m gonna hang out by the door, I’m gonna let him hang out.

TALIESIN: I’m an idiot, so I’m going to roll a six.

SAM: I’m going to go in and do it too.

ASHLEY: Can I wedge the door open or something?

SAM: 20.

MATT: You guys take a few more moments, thankfully there’s no real pressure. you have plenty of time going forward. You guys go through the room. Underneath his bed, up inside the actual wooden frame of the bed itself, in part of the cushion, you feel there is a large sack of something. You pull it out and–

SAM: I’ll hang on to that. I need it.

LAURA: I’m sure you do, but you lost yours so I’m gonna hold on to it for you.

TALIESIN: You’ve proven to be irresponsible.

SAM: I have had the most money of all of us.

LAURA: I take it.

MATT: It contains, I’ll say for the sake of– you’re probably counting it as you go up the stairs, because you’re Vex. 3,002 gold pieces.

SAM: I’m back to normal.

TALIESIN: No, you’re not. Because it’s–

SAM: I found it.

TALIESIN: I know, but we took it away from you.

SAM: No you didn’t.

TALIESIN: Yes we did.

SAM: You didn’t even find it.

TALIESIN: We saw you find it.

TRAVIS: Excuse me, no interest in the other rooms, or shall we leave?

TALIESIN: Let’s just go.

LIAM: We’re outstaying our welcome, let’s go now.

MATT: All right. You guys head back up the stairway, leading back into the storage room, outside of the kitchen. How are you going to proceed from the kitchen?

TRAVIS: We could set it on fire.

MARISHA: The cooks are back in the kitchen?

MATT: If you glance around and you look, you can listen. You do hear the sound of pots and various sounds–

LIAM: What the fuck are the cooks gonna do?

TRAVIS: We’re on the fucking council.

MARISHA: Yeah, I mean, what are they gonna do now? Oh, hang on. Are we about to walk through a very crowded bar? LAURA: No, we’re not. We’re going to leave through the alley, where Trinket is waiting. We can toss him over Trinket’s back. We just walk on out.

TRAVIS: We just walk through the kitchen.

MATT: You guys head up to the kitchen, as you guys come stomping up in succession, carrying the bleeding and unconscious Daxio on the back, the younger gentleman who’s working in the kitchen who’s in the middle of cooking something in a large cast iron pan, goes: “You can’t be in here!”

ASHLEY: We’re leaving, we’re leaving!

TALIESIN: And my compliments to the chef. Good night.

MATT: And then you guys head back into the alleyway. Trinket eagerly (bear grunts).

LAURA: Hey darling.

MATT: Licks your face. (slurping sounds)

LAURA: Could you do us a favor and carry him?

MATT: Comes up to you and nudges you to–

SAM: I tell them: I’ll catch up, guys. I have to say goodbye to my mates.

TALIESIN: Can we frisk him while we’re waiting?

LAURA: I like it. Can I dig in his pockets?

MATT: Digging in his pockets, you find a strange holy symbol that appears to be a skull that is missing the left side of its face.

ASHLEY: Can I do a religion check on it?

MATT: Yeah, go for it.

ASHLEY: 15.

MATT: 15. Based on the conversations you’ve had with the party and the seeming subtle rise of worshipers of Vecna, intertwined with the Whitestone scenario, this is a symbol of Vecna. It’s not a holy symbol per se, more than it’s just some sort of a token or some sort of a– it has a purpose that isn’t magical.

SAM: It is magic?

ASHLEY & TRAVIS: It’s not.

MATT: So, while you’re doing that, Scanlan, you head back into the tavern, and in the time that’s passed, you can see now your band with Dr. Dranzel, they’re all gathered together and they’re finishing up their drinks, and it looks like they’re ready to go ahead and find their way out on the town for the evening, and as soon as you walk into the room they all look over, “Scanlan! (laughs) "Good to see you, friend.”

SAM: Hi, hi, sorry I disappeared there for a while, I just got a little distracted. Just wanted to say it was wonderful running into you, if you’ll be around for another week, you said?

MATT: “Another week, yes.”

SAM: Well, our paths may cross again, and if you know, or can ask around where Greyskull Keep is, come pay us a visit. I would love to talk to you about the past, and history, and your travels and mine, all right?

MATT: “All right. Greyskull Keep, you say?”

SAM: It’s actually called Greyskull Embassy, now.

MATT: (laughs) “You’re an ass.”

(laughter)

MATT: “I’ll see you at your keep.”

SAM: And I turn to– what is her name? Kaylie?

MATT: Kaylie, who is already behind you, as you turn she goes, “Greyskull Keep, is it?”

SAM: Yes, it is. My room’s on the second floor.

MATT: “All right.”

MARISHA: Playing the long game, I like it.

MATT: You step out of the tavern and meet with the rest of your allies, and as the sun sets on the distant western sky over Emon, Vox Machina makes its way back to its keep, with its current quarry. And we’ll end it for tonight, unless you–

TRAVIS: We’re taking him to Uriel, right?

LIAM: Just as a minor detail, as we’re walking, almost like a magic trick, I wanna grab my cloak and yank it off Pike and wrap it up and put it into my pocket.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: We’re taking him to Uriel, we’re taking him to Uriel.

MATT: The flowers are still standing.

TRAVIS: We’re not taking him to our place, we’re taking him to Uriel.

MATT: Are you going to your keep, or are you going to Uriel?

TRAVIS: To Uriel.

MATT: Then you make a quick turn and start heading back towards the Cloudtop District. And that’s where we’ll end it for the evening!

TRAVIS: Walk off into the sunset, credits roll, they turn right.

MARISHA: Oh shit, forgot.

TALIESIN: Freeze frame!

LAURA: 2,600 gold to get some booty, I like it.

ASHLEY: Oh, we didn’t get to talk about your sword!

MATT: No, never had an opportunity to discuss it.

TRAVIS: Nope, haven’t had a minute.

MATT: I guess you’ll have to Skype in next week.

ASHLEY: I might be able to.

MATT: If you can, that’d be awesome.

LIAM: Don’t make me talk to him, because it won’t go well.

ASHLEY: No no no, no. We just didn’t get a chance to talk to him about his sword.

MATT: Well, cool. Back in the swing of things, our first game of the year, got some story beats completed, and some other mysteries put in there, just a fun little step into Scanlan’s old world, that was pretty cool.

MARISHA: Yeah! Scanlan backstory.

SAM: I wanna get some more into that!

MATT: Oh, and we’re dropping shit.

MARISHA: Oh, popcorn down. So next week we’re doing Critmas, next week.

MATT: Yeah, we’re doing Critmas next week, so be ready for that. Gonna watch us see what the new year has in store, looks like they’ve got some great possible charity gifts coming, I’m excited to see what they got us, so. Well all right then! We’re gonna go ahead and get ourselves out and sleeping for tomorrow morning. Thank you, guys, for coming and geeking with us, we’ll see you next week, and happy new year, guys.