Bar Room Blitz

is the twenty-first special episode of Critical Role.

Player Characters

 * Clothesline, Tabaxi fighter
 * Gryffin Errondil, Eladrin half-elf sorcerer
 * Frankfurt, dwarf paladin
 * Kingston LaForge, drow bard
 * Jayne Merriweather, human cleric

New

 * Unnamed old woman
 * Holly, a mysterious girl
 * Garello AKA Sal, a salamander
 * Kay, a prostitute
 * Valerie, bartender at the Ass Sailor
 * Xavier, manager of the Ass Sailor
 * Zarva, a prostiture

Returning

 * Obby

Mentioned

 * The Chained Oblivion
 * Kord
 * The Lawbearer
 * Sarenrae

Quotations
Kingston: I just want to- Clothesline: So choose the next few words carefully! Kingston: Catnip and chill? Ashly: Can I attack Kingston? Sam: Sure! Clothesline: I'm going to- Sam: She's prone. Ashly: I'm prone? What can I do then? Sam: You can get up and you can Liam: It's half your movement, but you can fuck me up still. Ashly: I can get up? Clothesline: Then I'm going to clothesline that motherfucker there (points to Liam/Jayne) Sam: Great! Roll an attack. Liam: I haven't lost a hit point this entire game. Ashly: NATURAL 20! Mary: Boom, karma's a bitch. Sam: That certainly hits. Roll 1d4+4. Mary: Karma's a beeotch, beeotch beeotch beeotch. Ashly: Come on, baby. Sam: 1d4+4 Ashly: 3+4--7 Sam: Double it, 14. Mary and Ashly: FOURTEEN Liam: Nonononono, 3--the dice are doubled. Sam: OK. 6--it's 10. And you're knocked--you're not knocked prone but- Ashly: Did I take my second action surge? Sam: No, do it. Ashly: I'm gonna clothesline you again! Liam: Do it, do it. Mary: Action surge! Ashly: A NATURAL 20! Liam: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? GET OUT OF THIS BUILDING, GET OUT OF THIS BUILDING. Ashly: (howls) Mary: This die...[inaudible] this die--you could sell this die for millions. Sam: So Clothesline turns around, delivers a right arm clothesline to you--it hurts. Mary: Kaboom. Sam: She kisses her bicep, uses the other arm, left arm clothesline on you. Ashly: Gimme a 4, baby, give me a 4. A FOUR! Sam: A 4! Ashly: And you're prone, motherfucker!
 * Clothesline: You are this close from a claw in your goddamn eye Kingston.
 * Sam: Kingston just saved you. Clothesline, you are alive, it is your turn.

Trivia

 * Although the cast did not necessarily know each other's characters before starting, Sam gave each of them at least one reason to hate someone else's character and one reason to like a character.
 * For instance, Brian was told that Kingston had a cat fetish, that he hated the gods and anyone who loved the gods, and that a dwarf named Frankfurt had slept with his wife. He did not, however, know that Ashly would be playing a Tabaxi, or that Frankfurt was Eric's character.