Scanlan Shorthalt

Scanlan Shorthalt is a gnome bard, a member of the group Vox Machina and the husband of Pike Trickfoot. He was played by Sam Riegel.

Intro
"Oh, you haven't heard of Scanlan Shorthalt? Well, gird your loins, ladies, because he has his eye on you. A talented musician, master of disguise, and dashingly handsome in his own mind, Scanlan sings songs almost as much as he sings his own praises.

''Born a poor gnome, Scanlan used his endless charm and soaring tenor voice to croon for coin and support his single mother. One day he was discovered by a half-orc promoter, and joined Dr. Dranzel's Spectacular Traveling Troupe, where he learned the ways of the world, and honed his skills as a bard extraordinaire.''

''A loner much of his life, Scanlan has never quite come to terms with the violent death of his mother at the hands of a goblin invasion. While his years on the road provided many, shall we say, educational experiences with the opposite sex, deep down Scanlan yearns for the one thing he's never known: the true love of a fellow gnome.''

''Still, Scanlan considers himself a lover first, performer second, and fighter distant third. On the battlefield, he'll support his allies, but rarely draws blood unless it's to protect fellow gnome Pike. Count on Scanlan for a hearty laugh, a rollicking song, and a twinkle in his eye that melts hearts and makes the females swoon."''

Appearance
As a gnome, Scanlan is shorter than the other members of Vox Machina. He is also much older, but because gnomes live so much longer than many humanoid races, he appears to be around the same age as his former companions.

Scanlan has brown hair and usually wears a beret. In official art, he is depicted wearing purple clothing with an open shirt that reveals his chest hair. His skin tone varies from slitghtly tanned to brown in various depictions of the character.

After joining the Slayer's Take, Scanlan has the brand of the guild on his right arm. When Scanlan returned to Whitestone after a year on the road with his daughter Kaylie, he beared a new scar under his eye where Kaylie's knife cut him.

Personality
Scanlan's alignment is "neutral good", like Keyleth (and, originally, Vex'ahlia). He tended to sit back and watch while his allies strategize and scheme, occasionally making a joke or two. However, when the situation became urgent (or ripe for comedy), Scanlan would eagerly jump into the fray.

His quick wit and silver tongue made him Vox Machina's best negotiator and deceiver. Scanlan often acted as support for his allies by enhancing their abilities or weakening their opponents. He was also capable of holding his own with a combination of magic, improvisation, and courage, as exemplified by his solo fight against Duke Vedmeyer and his eight armed guards.

Scanlan was often regarded as the comic-relief character and almost never brought up his own troubles and anxieties, instead focusing on making jokes or witty comments. He angrily pointed this out to the rest of Vox Machina after they resurrected him in front of his daughter, who he had promised he would never die to, accusing them of never having cared about him or bothered to find out who he was and what he wanted. Ostensibly because of this, he left the party for over a year.

Scanlan is an extensive womanizer but has been known to flirt with men as well, particularly Grog and Vax. He has said that Vax kissing him was not the first time an elf-man kissed him (but it was in the top three). When Vax and Grog pranked him with a potion of love, causing him to become infatuated with Percy, it was confirmed that Scanlan is bi- or pansexual. Scanlan tends to flirt with most women he interacts with, but most notably with Pike. For years, he made advances to her that she politely ignored. However, as time went by, and especially after spending a year with his daughter, Scanlan realized that his behavior had been unrespectful, and he wished to be more respectful towards women in the future.

Scanlan is fluent in Common, Gnomish, and Marquesian. During the Campaign of Vox Machina, he only revealed his age to Pike, but late in the campaign he hinted that there is a "significant age gap" between himself and Percy, and Sam revealed in the final episode, and in, that Scanlan was sixty-nine when the stream started.

Scanlan (or rather Sam) created parodies of real-world songs, silly limericks, and comical remarks as part of his Bardic Inspiration, Healing Word, or Cutting Words spells. Some were improvised on the spot, while others were prepared in advance. CritRoleStats has compiled a list of Scanlan's songs used on stream.

Personas
Highly skilled in Deception, Scanlan sometimes found himself in situations where a simple lie or half-truth was not enough, so he adopted a disguise or false identity.
 * Burt Reynolds, Esquire: Initially used with a fake mustache and pretend badge to convince members of the Clasp that he was a customs inspector, the Burt Reynolds persona became Scanlan's deceit of choice when needing to impersonate an authority figure. Burt Reynolds later returned as a lawyer to rescue Keyleth and Tiberius from jail in Vasselheim.
 * Kingslayer: Not entirely a lie, Scanlan's "Kingslayer" title was earned when delivering the killing blow to King Murghol. However, his "Kingslayer" persona deceptively portrayed Scanlan as a more honorable and valiant warrior than his everyday actions might have warranted.
 * The Meat Man: Scanlan provided this pseudonym to the half-orc Rutur in Ank'Harel during a "drug deal". He later adopted it as his underworld moniker when he returned to Ank'harel for revenge.
 * Francois Bertrand Jean-Luc Australia: Scanlan used this name while under the illusion of Seeming to disguise himself as an azer slave-trader in the City of Brass.

Background
Scanlan was raised by a poor single mother, Juniper, and never knew his father. His mother was killed in front of him during a goblin invasion.

At some point in his past, at least fifteen years before the start of Critical Role, Scanlan encountered a gnome named Sybil (one of many women he has "encountered"). Scanlan unknowingly left her pregnant with a daughter, Kaylie. In fact, Scanlan implied that he had knowledge that he has fathered more children than just Kaylie in.

Scanlan joined up with Dr. Dranzel's Spectacular Traveling Troupe at an unknown point in his life. He left before joining the group that would become Vox Machina.

Vox Machina: Origins
Volume 1 Scanlan had teamed up with Grog Strongjaw, Vash, Arnicor and an unnamed cleric to recover an artefact from a temple in the swamp near Stilben. They fought a giant frog as well as the cult of fish-like people who inhabited the temple. They cut off the ruby eyes off of the statue of a fish god, then headed into town. Vash, the party wizard, identified some of their loot, but couldn't identify a vial of clear liquid they had found in the swamp. Scanlan led them to an alchemist's shop to ask about it, but were met with assassins of the Myriad, who said they had interfered with their plans and demanded the vial. The assassins killed Vash before the rest of the party managed to kill them.

The party headed to a tavern to rest, and Scanlan entertained the patrons by playing his lute and signing a song about their vanquishing of the cult. At the bar, he was approached by a red dragonborn who introduced himself as Tiberius Stormwind. Tiberius informed Scanlan that the people of Stilben believed the swamp was cursed, and thought his group had just saved them all. However, according to Tiberius' associate, there was no curse and the swamp was poisoned. Scanlan showed the vial, which Tiberius happily recognized as a potion of Aqua Caedis, and Scanlan sold it to him. Immediately after, a man (who was really Iselda in disguise) approached the party to arrest them. Scanlan inquired why, and realized the man only wanted the vial he just sold. The party agreed to a drop-off, and the man asked them to meet him at midnight in a sewer station.

Scanlan and Grog went to the rendez-vous point immediately to scope it out, and overheard an alchemist mention the Mockingbird, a ship arriving in the morning with a shipment. Scanlan put him to sleep with magic so they could take a book he was guarding. As they investigated the room, Vax'ildan and Vex'ahlia jumped out of the shadows and attacked them, asking for the book they just got. Grog and Scanlan fought with the twins, but they were interrupted by a group of assassins who walked out of a mirror - the same ones that they had fought and killed earlier. Grog, Scanlan and the twins worked together to fight the assassins. Mid-battle, Tiberius walked in with Keyleth, and joined them in the fight. After all the assassins were killed, Iselda also walked out of the mirror and stabed Scanlan in the back. She managed to overpower the group by filling the room with darkness, but Scanlan countered her with a Wand of Daylight. After Iselda retreated, Scanlan helped heal the wounds on the others, but refused to keep working with the others when Keyleth suggested it.

Scanlan and Grog went back to the tavern and sat at a table with Arnicor and the cleric when Vex'ahlia approached them. She asked for their help to retrieve Vax from Iselda, who had abducted him, but Scanlan refused, having been stabbed by Vax even after they had teamed up. However, after she was gone, Scanlan realized that helping Vex'ahlia would make for a much better story than leaving town in the middle of the intrigue. He and Grog headed for the docks, where they met up with Vex'ahlia, Keyleth, and Tiberius. There, Scanlan pointed to the Mockingbird, and they all witnessed an explosion as Vax'ildan jumped out of a hole in the side of the ship, were he was being held captive. The group decided to work together this time, and boarded the Mockingbird. They found the source of the poison that has been plaguing the inhabitants of Stilben: a sygil carved into the floor and filled with poison. When Keyleth and Tiberius determined that it could be diluted by an acidic substance, Scanlan immediately started to pee on it, succeeding in stopping the strange ritual. Iselda arrived and almost wiped the group out, but was killed by Grog, and the group escaped through the previously made hole in the side of the ship. Afterwards, they all headed to a tavern together.

Volume 2 When tracking the wereabouts of their friend Grog, the party that would one day become Vox Machina was directed to the Trickfoot household, where they met Pike. Scanlan was immediately interested in her. Later, the party had to split to find ingredients for a ritual to save Grog from a lich attempting to possess his body. Scanlan went with Pike and Keyleth to the Umbra Hills to find the skull of a nightmare.

While looking for a cult rumored to posess the item, the trio interrogated Percival de Rolo, a prisoner accused of being one of the cultists. He explained to them that he was actually put in jail by the cult, and Scanlan and the others busted him out in exchange for his help. After their mission was complete, Percival decided to tag along with them.

Other Pre-Stream Events
At some point, the group either accidentally or intentionally walked through the back door of the Clasp, the thieves' guild in Emon, and almost got into a deadly confrontation. Scanlan was able to trick the guild into thinking Vox Machina was part of the customs department, using a silver star he had made in a previous town.

The bard, by rolling a natural twenty on deception and putting a finger over his upper lip so it looked like he had a mustache, was able to get a man who had access to a tower into letting them in by tricking him into thinking that he was "Burt Reynolds".

Scanlan and Grog managed to intimidate a group of hostile mages in a fighting pit when Scanlan summoned a pony that Grog abruptly decapitated and smeared the gore of it on his body while screaming. Scanlan also had Percy build him a bomb to use in that event, but since Grog's intimidation worked, Scanlan kept the bomb, which was later used in.

Scanlan spent much of his time trying to convince Percy to create an exploding donkey, a request that Percy eventually complied to.

He was able to convince some guards to free Keyleth from prison after convincing them that she had pubic lice. She played along by foaming at the mouth and acting insane. Percy acted as her lawyer.

During Pike's resurrection ritual after she perished in combat fighting a glabrezu, Scanlan helped to bring her back both by using a small figurine of her he carved two months before, and kissing her on the brow. He still keeps the small figurine wherever he goes.

The bard accidentally crashed through a stained glass window when attempting to charge at the Dread Emperor by rolling a natural one. He crashed into a bramble bush three stories down while glass and wood from the window rained down on him.

Chapter 1
Scanlan made his very first kill ever when he killed a multi-headed naga with a Lightning Bolt at the entrance to the Greyspine Quarry.

Chapter 6
Scanlan was killed in battle by the green dragon, Raishan, but Pike's quick Revivify spell returned him to life. His death had a serious impact on his state of mind, leading to him trying to develop a drug habit.

Scanlan was later killed by Raishan a second time. Pike's attempted Revivify failed, so Vox Machina took his body back to Whitestone where they performed a successful resurrection ritual.

Leaving Vox Machina
When Scanlan woke up after being resurrected, he was furious that Vox Machina had brought Kaylie and shown her his dead body, since he had previously promised her that he wouldn't die. He blew up at the group, accusing them of not caring about him. Although they did their best to reassure him otherwise, he announced that he was leaving the party and walked out of Whitestone Castle with his daughter. The two of them were later seen walking down a road together, smiling slightly.

Several weeks later, Percy used the Scrying Eye to check in on Scanlan. He saw him and Kaylie performing for a group of farm folk in the Turst Fields.

Several months into the one-year time skip, Scanlan and Kaylie traveled to Ank'Harel and Scanlan reclaimed his self-made title of "The Meat Man". According to Scanlan, "one thing led to another", and the Meat Man ended up becoming one of the three biggest crime lords in Ank'Harel. At some point, Scanlan adopted an illusory disguise for the Meat Man: a Marquetian human named "Aes Adon". Aes hired Lionel Gayheart as muscle for the Meat Man's operation.

Returning to Vox Machina
After the one-year time skip, Scanlan found some information that he judged important enough for him to want to deliver it in person to Vox Machina. He then traveled to Whitestone with Lionel to do so, disguising himself as Aes Adan. Lionel accidentally revealed to Vox Machina that his employer, Aes, was known as the "Meat Man". This former alias of Scanlan's tipped them off, and eventually, both Vex and Keyleth were able to see through Scanlan's disguise.

Scanlan revealed to the group some information that Lionel had managed to acquire: there was a second Ziggurat in the deserts of Ank'Harel, and it housed another Vecna cult that was making offerings to an Orb of Annihilation. Vex and Vax were quick to welcome Scanlan back, but the other members of Vox Machina (particularly Grog and Pike) were less forgiving towards him. As they made their way to Ank'Harel to investigate this second Ziggurat, he returned to being an active member of Vox Machina.

Dr. Dranzel
Scanlan found himself learning and perfecting his skills as a bard from a half-orc named Dr. Dranzel, and ended up joining his Spectacular Traveling Troupe. During his time with Dranzel, he honed his skills and became knowledgeable of the world around him. They reconnected years later in Emon just before the Chroma Conclave attacked, then reunited on several occasions afterward.

Grog

 * &rarr; Main article: Relationship between Grog and Scanlan.

Grog and Scanlan are best friends, often pursuing the same things. They have frequently gone to 'houses of lady favors' together, and are often together. Scanlan was the only person Grog told about Cravenedge's nature and sentience. When Scanlan came back with Lionel to Whitestone, Grog was deeply offended that his best friend had deceived him and replaced him with 'a whole new idiot'. Their friendship was quickly restored when Scanlan gave Grog a note that allowed him to go to any bar, tavern or house of lady favors he wished without ridicule.

Kaylie
Scanlan first met Kaylie in the Diamond Nest Tavern, where he was also reunited with Dr. Dranzel and his old troupe. They had a flautist duel—which was mostly a distraction so Vox Machina could pursue Riskel Daxio—and Scanlan forfeited the competition (and all of his money) to the young gnome girl despite having a clear advantage. After that, he invited the girl to his room in Greyskull Keep for the night.



Later that night, Kaylie revealed to Scanlan that she was his daughter that he never knew existed—news that greatly bothered Scanlan. She had trained at the College of the White Duke and traveled with Dranzel in order to hone her skills and, one day, not only find Scanlan and shame him but also kill him. She then pulled out a dagger, intending to kill him, but couldn't go through with it upon hearing Scanlan's impassioned speech and witnessing him offer his life without resistance. Scanlan mentioned that he knew there was something missing in his life, and that it may well have been his daughter before him. The two shared a tearful hug and, unable to face him anymore that night, Kaylie ran out of the keep.

Scanlan did not reveal this information to the group until the following day, when he asked for their help to get Kaylie out of the stockade for causing a brawl in a bar. She and Dranzel's troupe soon left Emon shortly before the Chroma Conclave attacked. The two later reunited in Westruun when the Herd of Storms occupied the city. Working together, father and daughter aided in the escape of a few of the survivors alongside Dr. Dranzel.

They later reunited in Kymal after the slaying of Umbrasyl. During their reunion, Scanlan admitted that he had been going about his life all wrong, that the gnome he was supposed to love and protect wasn't Pike but Kaylie, his daughter. Scanlan gave her his Singing Dawnblade (which also contained a piece of his Magical Poop of Scrying in the scabbard) for her protection and for him to check in on her on occasion. Kaylie then made her father promise to stay alive and be there for her when the Chroma Conclave was defeated, so they could make up for the lost time.

Pike

 * &rarr; Main article: Relationship between Pike and Scanlan.

Scanlan had very strong feelings toward Pike, and it was a source of great humor and emotional moments within the Critical Role campaign. Pike eventually did willingly kiss Scanlan on the cheek when he saved her life once more during their escape from Yug'Voril. He once proposed marriage to the cleric, but Scanlan later rescinded the offer and he and Pike chose to remain as close friends.

Following Scanlan's departure and eventual return to Vox Machina, Pike was initially angry and resentful towards Scanlan for leaving the way he did and saying the things he had, leading to some tension between the two. As the group journeyed to stop Vecna, however, Pike quickly warmed back up to Scanlan, and their close friendship was restored.

Once Vecna was finally defeated, Scanlan asked Pike out on a formal date, just to see how things go, to which Pike answered by saying that she was going to ask him the same thing. The two dated for several years before Pike asked for Scanlan's hand in marriage. They have since settled down to live together alongside Grog in Wilhand's old home.

Tiberius

 * &rarr; Main article: Relationship between Scanlan and Tiberius.

Scanlan and Tiberius had a bullying form of friendship, which started at some point before the stream. On many occasions, the two of them took jabs at each other. However, when Tiberius was discovered to have died defending Draconia, Scanlan showed the deepest respect for his fallen friend.

After Vorugal was slain, Scanlan requested that the Ravenites give the sorcerer a proper burial and a statue to mark it with the epitaph, "I Encourage Peace".

Trinket

 * &rarr; Main article: Relationship between Scanlan and Trinket.

Scanlan frequently picks on Vex'ahlia by making jokes about her beloved bear companion, Trinket. He repeatedly suggests that the group leave Trinket behind.

Taryon Darrington
When Taryon Darrington first talks to Pike in gnomish, he recalls only learning it from books that he read and had been taught only briefly by a fellow gnome from a musical group. He describes the "fellow" as "part of a performing troupe" that his father has hired for New Year's Eve, and how he vividly remembers him leaving quickly because something occurred with his "father and house maiden" and was chased out the house. Taryon also says although he doesn't know what exactly happened, his father had to "burn his bed sheets and I think he got a new bed." It is implied that this unnamed gnome bard is in fact Scanlan Shorthalt.

Quests
Originally seeking to win Pike's heart, Scanlan realized that the gnome he was meant to love and protect is his daughter, Kaylie. After successfully slaying the ancient black dragon Umbrasyl, Scanlan promised Kaylie that he would return to her and be the father she needs once he has finished slaying the other members of the Chroma Conclave.

Current Items

 * Aberration Bane Longsword
 * Brass flute (received from J'mon Sa Ord; became tarnished after being used to summon them to battle Raishan)
 * Drow Poison
 * Earring of Whisper (made by Tiberius)
 * Figurine of Wondrous Power (Onyx Dog)
 * Handcone of Clarity (made by Tiberius)
 * Hat of Disguise
 * Horn of Fog
 * Ioun Stone
 * Mythcarver
 * Pistol and ammunition
 * Ring of Mind Shielding
 * Small statue of Pike
 * Studded Leather Armor of Acid Resistance (received from Vex'ahlia)
 * Wand of Fireballs
 * Wand of Magic Missiles
 * Whip

Former Items

 * Coldsnap Leather Armor (traded to Vex'ahlia)
 * Magical Poop of Scrying
 * Placed in the ruins of the temple to Sarenrae that Pike was rebuilding in Vasselheim.
 * Placed in the kitchen of Greyskull Keep.
 * Placed in the scabbard of the Singing Dawnblade.
 * Scroll of Chain Lightning (expended against K'Varn)
 * Scroll of Gate (expended to summon Yenk)
 * Singing Dawnblade (given to Kaylie)
 * Suude (no doses remaining)
 * Tome of Isolation (retrieved from the Endless Athenaeum for use against Vecna as challenged by Ioun; now returned to her)
 * Tome of Leadership and Influence (successfully used by Scanlan; given to Keyleth to use one hundred years later)

Abilities
Because Scanlan is a bard, he has a large array of spells and skills, which he utilizes both in social and combat situations. His spells run the gamut of offense, defense, and support. Due to his expertise as a College of Lore bard, he is capable of inspiring not only his allies but also himself.

Gnome Abilities

 * Darkvision
 * Gnome Cunning (advantage on INT/WIS/CHA saving throws against magic)
 * Speak With Small Beasts

Feats

 * Tough
 * War Caster

Class Features

 * Bard College: College of Lore
 * Additional Magical Secrets: Counterspell, Lightning Bolt
 * Bonus Proficiencies
 * Cutting Words
 * Peerless Skill
 * Bardic Inspiration (d12)
 * Countercharm
 * Font of Inspiration
 * Jack of All Trades
 * Magical Secrets
 * Ritual Casting
 * Song of Rest (d12)
 * Spellcasting (Charisma-based ability)

Bard Spells
As a level 18 College of Lore bard, Scanlan can know 24 spells at a time. He can also swap a spell out with another one when gaining a level, so some of these spells may no longer be known by him.

Cantrips

 * Friends
 * Mage Hand
 * Message
 * Minor Illusion
 * Vicious Mockery
 * Wristpocket

1st-level

 * Healing Word
 * Thunderwave
 * Unseen Servant

2nd-level

 * Blindness/Deafness
 * Hold Person
 * Invisibility
 * Suggestion

3rd-level

 * Counterspell
 * Dispel Magic
 * Lightning Bolt
 * Major Image
 * Stinking Cloud

4th-level

 * Banishment
 * Dimension Door
 * Dominate Beast
 * Otiluke's Resilient Sphere
 * Polymorph

5th-level

 * Bigby's Hand
 * Dominate Person
 * Greater Restoration
 * Modify Memory
 * Seeming

6th-level

 * Eyebite
 * Otto's Irresistible Dance

7th-level

 * Mordenkainen's Magnificent Mansion
 * Reverse Gravity

8th-level

 * Dominate Monster

9th-level

 * True Polymorph
 * Wish (after Percy and Vex's wedding he loses the ability to cast it)

Blessing of the Knowing Mistress
Upon becoming the chosen champion of Ioun, Scanlan has been granted the following abilities: During this hour you also have advantage on initiative rolls and on saving throws. Once this ability is used it can not be used again "for like a week".
 * A permanent +2 bonus to intelligence.
 * As a bonus action, you may channel the omniscience of Ioun. For one hour, whenever you successfully hit a creature with a spell or attack you can learn one of the creature's stats of your choice from the following list:
 * AC
 * Senses
 * Saving Throw Bonuses
 * Damage Resistances
 * Damage Immunities
 * Damage Vulnerabilities

Quotes
Elowen Brist: "Yeah, about your size, light-ish hair..." Scanlan: "Hair the color of the sunset; eyes like waves that crash in the night; breasts supple, firm–" Grog, interrupting: "Okay, uh, Scanlan, uh, Scanlan–" Ashley Johnson: "True, true, true." Scanlan: "I will grant you cock lightning."
 * Scanlan: "You remember what Pike looks like?"
 * Grog: "If I pelvic thrust, will you...?"
 * Scanlan: "Hello. What a lovely dinner we had--LIGHTNING!"
 * Scanlan: "You can dwell on the shit, or you can leave it behind in people’s beds and keep going."
 * Scanlan: "I’m upstairs, trying to take it anally."

Trivia

 * The word "scanlan" means "scandal" or "scandalous" in Irish.
 * It is also the surname of Irish composer and musical theater actor William J. Scanlan and the stage name of Walter Van Brunt (who was known to have had a bigamous affair that resulted in a child with his mistress and a divorce from his wife). English guitarist for The Fall, Craig Scanlon, had his surname misspelled as "Scanlan" on every record he featured on for The Fall up until and including the 7" single "Lie Dream of a Casino Soul" in 1981.
 * However, despite its highly appropriate nature, Sam did not choose Scanlan's name deliberately. He rolled for it randomly on a character name generator.
 * Scanlan has the highest charisma score of any player character thus far.
 * In the Critical Role Major Arcana Tarot Card Set, he represents The Fool.
 * When the home game began, Sam had never played before and didn't know what sort of character he wanted to be. Sam asked Liam what the "least cool" character and race combination would be, and ended up choosing to be a gnome bard. This matched his personality in real life as being more silly than imposing and relying more on charm than on skill.
 * Scanlan's background of not really having a father, having mother issues, and being discovered by musicians and growing in fame, as a result, is due to Sam basing him loosely on the rapper Eminem.
 * Scanlan is included in the Critical Role Pack DLC for Pillars of Eternity II: Deadfire.
 * Throughout the course of the Vox Machina: Origins comics, Scanlan frequently broke the fourth wall by making allusions to narrative tropes and the rules of storytelling. For example, he once looked directly at the reader, stating "Now THAT will make a great story!". He also interrupted his party members, saying they wouldn't talk for the rest of the scene, and we could skip their introduction.