O Captain, Who's Captain?

 is the thirty-sixth episode of the second campaign of Critical Role. The Mighty Nein hire a crew and set out on a naval adventure, but danger lurks on the open seas...

Announcements

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 * All Work No Play:
 * merch update from Laura:
 * That's the end of the announcements, so Matt thinks it's time to get into tonight's heroic adventure. Matt dedicates it as a celebration of real heroes in this world (some by the name of Christine).

Interrogation
Caleb rationalizes that all went very well: it could've been worse, and the shadowy figures attacked first, unprovoked. Caleb quotes a Zemnian saying: "Sometimes you have to follow the cabbages in front of you." Fjord is at the helm of The Mist. Jester confesses that she accidentally stuck an ax in the back of a guy's head: she had been aiming for his shoulder. Beau points out that Jester can Speak with Dead. Jester decides to head down and speak with the corpse of the dead man. Nott and Caleb go down into the ship with her. A wet Caduceus sits at the front of the ship, completely out of it. Fjord asks Caduceus to come to help him, but Caduceus doesn't respond. Beau volunteers to help Fjord sail the ship, while Yasha goes over to talk with Caduceus, who is clearly upset. He notes that she keeps leaving, and that she might have the right idea.

Beauregard checks the ship over and finds that there is a lot of charred wood where the fireball impacted. Some of the wood around the deck is splintered, and the sail is singed. Most of the damage is aesthetic and won't impede the ship's movement.

Below decks, Jester discovers that the crewman she took out with an ax is still alive, and still has an ax in his head. He tries to crawl away, but Jester grabs his ankles and pulls him back. He passes out. Caleb tries to move the ax, but Jester stops him, worried that his brains will leak out. Nott fetches Caduceus, who is having a rough day. He heals the guard as Caleb takes out the ax. Nott tries to cheer up Caduceus by reminding him he just saved a life, and Caduceus remarks that 'he'll be dead eventually." The enforcer wakes up and Jester welcomes him to the crew, and also informs him that all his friends are gone.

Caleb, Nott, and Jester interrogate the guard. He tells them that he was picking up and delivering a message. He resists talking until Caleb threatens (subtly) to torture him. He then tells them that The Mist is a sister ship to Captain Avantika's ship, the Squalleater, and that the former captain of The Mist was named Captain Jawgrasp. The papers he burned were mostly maps. Their job was to meet with Marius LePual and either get the money back, or the orb, and deliver either to Avantika.

He says Avantika is a weird one, and the orb is a religious thing for her. The crew of the The Mist have no interest in Avantika's religion; she hired them to run errands for her. They operate out of Darktow. Avantika is waiting for them to return somewhere in the Swavain Islands. He doesn't know the name of the island, but most people avoid it because it's cursed. After asking for his name, Gallan Westman, Jester tries to convert him to The Traveler.

When Gallan says he wasn't one of the important ones, Nott points out that he was the only one who survived the attack, and survived an ax in his head. He's on board at first, but is shocked at the revelation that he had an ax in his head and freaks out. Nott assures him it missed all the major organs. They ask Gallen what his job on the ship was. Gallen was the ship's carpenter.

Jester and Nott realize they should probably come up with a new name for the ship. Jester comes up with the name The Mistake. Caleb has finished casting Comprehend Languages and is able to read the partially burned papers. It seems to be a list of materials that were on the ship. Nott formally conscripts Gallan Westman into the Mighty Nein for their sea journey and appoints him first mate since no one else but Fjord knows how to sail. Jester and Nott take him to his quarters so he can sleep.

Meanwhile on deck, Beau and Fjord wake up Marius LePual, who is still tied to the mast. They ask Marius about what he was doing with the ship. Marius was not planning to go on the ship. He was only hired to post a letter then wait for the delivery of the orb. Since the orb never showed up, he was going to return the money to Captain Jawgrasp. Marius doesn't seem to know much more so they let him go belowdecks to get a drink and calm down.

Caleb, Jester, and Nott show the papers they have to Beau and Fjord. The partial map looks familiar to Fjord. He thinks it could be one of two places in the Lucidian Ocean- Inkclaw Reef or Deep Row Reef. He can't be sure which one it is, but both of them are fairly far away. Inkclaw is closer so they can start there. Fjord tells the group he wants to meet with Avantika so he can find out what she knows about the cloven crystal. As they begin to plan, Beau points out that they should talk about what just happened first. Caduceus has not joined in the conversation; he is sitting curled up by the bow of the ship.

Introspection
Beau and Jester walk over to Caduceus. Caduceus talks to Jester about his holy purpose to save his home. He thought by joining the Mighty Nein that he was honoring that purpose, taking their arrival as a sign from The Wildmother. Now he is beginning to think that he was wrong. Caduceus is feeling overwhelmed by almost drowning and now being on the ocean. It has been a long time since he has received a sign from The Wildmother. Jester reassures him that temporary silence doesn't mean his god has abandoned him. Long periods of time will go by where she does not hear from The Traveler, but he always comes back. She reminds Caduceus to complete his mission he will have to step out of his comfort zone. Caduceus says he feels much better. He invites Jester to join him belowdecks cooking.

After Caduceus and Jester leave, Beau asks Caleb if he really believes they have done nothing wrong. Caleb responds that Jester's mother and the creature they freed from slavery are better off now because of what they've done. He insists again that because the crew of The Mist attacked first, the Mighty Nein were justified in attacking back. Beau feels like she is not living up to her promise to herself after Molly's death to be a better person. Caleb reminds her of the people they saved from Gnolls in Alfield and the people they saved from the Iron Shepherds in Shadycreek Run. Beau still doesn't think helping Jester's mother justifies murdering six people. Caleb once again insists that they did what they had to because they were attacked first.

Fjord calls Beau over to ask about how she feels. He does not feel good about their actions the past day. Thinking back on it, Fjord wonders why they did not just talk like they had planned.

Their plan was to talk to Algar then Marius, but they ended up killing people in both situations. Having power is new to Fjord. He says using magic to solve problems does not feel right. Beau tells him she can relate. She has always used her fists to solve problems. Beau again mentions Molly's death and her commitment to be better to honor him. Beau and Fjord agree to check each other when the other one is abusing their power and make an effort to find non-violent solutions to problems going forward.

Fjord calls everyone together for a ship meeting. They come to the conclusion that they should go back to Nicodranas, hire a crew, and do damage control. After that they can head towards the reefs to meet Captain Avantika and see what she knows about the cloven crystal and Vandran. Their plan is to dock at a different section of the docks than they left. Jester repairs the burned sail using Mending. Beau comes up with the idea to start a "whisper campaign" in the taverns around the docks. They will loudly tell a story about how the evil pirate Captain Jawgrasp was responsible for the incident on the docks. However, everyone needs to rest first.

Caleb and Nott take the first watch while the rest of the group rests. While they are alone, they agree that everything went badly and neither of them feel good about their actions. Caleb is concerned that group as a whole is feeling bad.

He considers the Mighty Nein his family and wants to help them feel better. He suggests they take it upon themselves to raise the group morale. Nott agrees that they want the Mighty Nein to stay together. Caleb asks Nott if she's angry he used magic to influence her. Nott says she didn't mind and it was helpful, but he should warn her before if he's going to do it again. She suggests Caleb fake a heart attack so the group can "save" him as a way of making them bond. Caleb is not sure if Nott is joking, but he promises to follow through anyway.

Caduceus and Fjord take the next watch. Fjord is concerned about how Caduceus feels. Caduceus seems to have made peace with the situation, saying he is going to embrace the chaos. Fjord says he is very impressed by Caduceus's ability to read people. Caduceus says part of his job his whole life is to talk to the people who came to the graveyard. He has learned about the world from them.

The Mistake
Gallan Westman begins repairs on the fire damage the ship took during the battle. Yasha dangles Jester off the side while she repaints the name to The Mistake. Fjord assists Jester in forging the proper paperwork for entry into the Open Quay docks in Nicodranas, a completely different section of the city from where they hijacked the ship. Caduceus, Caleb, Fjord, Jester, and Nott all cast Disguise Self to change their appearances. Jester uses her disguise kit to put makeup on Beau. Yasha stays on the ship to keep an eye on Gallan and Marius. Fjord bribes the dockmaster to tell anyone who asks about their ship that they're from Port Zoon.

Caduceus and Jester buy enough supplies and food for one month's journey. Beau spends the time in taverns spreading rumors that the evil pirate Captain Jawgrasp murdered his own crew and sailed away alone on his ship. She hears news already spreading that the bodies of Javeed Jawgrasp and another sailor named Mattheus Freecall, two known criminals, were discovered at the docks. Some unknown do-gooders are responsible for killing two people with bounties on their heads. The guards did not seem to realize there were two different groups fighting and assume other members of Captain Jawgrasp's crew took the The Mist after their captain was killed. However, the guards are searching for the body of a blue-skinned tiefling who killed herself on the docks.

Caduceus comes up with the idea to spread a ghost story. He, Beau, Jester, and Nott come up with a story of a little devil girl who drowned 100 years ago. She haunts sailors and drives them mad, looking for her long lost love. While spreading the ghost story, they also spread misinformation about what the ship that was taken looks like. During this time, Fjord has found crew for every position they need except a navigator. Caleb remembers that Orly Skiffback, the tortle they met in the Wayfarer's Cove, is a navigator. Jester casts Sending to tell him a ship called The Mistake will hire him as a navigator. Despite not recognizing any of them (due to the Disguise Self spells), Orly agrees to work for the discounted rate of twenty-seven gold a week on the condition he gets to choose his own quarters.

The Mistake sets sail for the Inkclaw Reef.

Uncharted Waters
The Mighty Nein show Orly the partially burned map and ask his opinion. Comparing it to his intact map of the Lucidian Ocean, he agrees it looks like the Inkclaw Reef. If it is, the X marked on the burned map seems to be the island of Urukayxl.

The group decides on the straightest route to the reef through uncharted waters rather than taking the trade route, making it a three day journey from Nicodranas. As they leave the docks, Jester casts Sending to Marion Lavorre and let her know that she is safe but they had to leave. She asks her to take care of Nugget and they will be back soon. Marion replies that she hopes Jester and her friends stay safe and come back soon.

While on watch the first night, Fjord and Jester see glowing jellyfish creating beautiful lights in the water below. Jester has never seen anything like them before. She asks Fjord if he's worried about where they're going. Fjord responds that he is more curious than afraid. He feels confident the Mighty Nein can take care of themselves. Jester asks Fjord if he gets sad. Surprised by the question, Fjord admits there are some things he wishes were different. Concerned, he asks Jester if she is sad. Jester says she misses her mother already. Fjord is sorry they left Nicodranas the way they did. He asks Jester what she wants for her mother. Jester would want her mother to be happy, for The Gentleman to love her, and for Marion to be able to stop working. Fjord tries to cheer Jester up by telling her they might find some treasure during their times on the islands. Jester says she would use the treasure to bribe The Gentleman to woo Marion again. Fjord suggests they give the treasure to Marion instead so she could show off to The Gentleman how amazing her life is even without him. Fjord further tries to cheer Jester up by telling her he could tell Marion was very proud of her.

Over breakfast the next morning, Marius LePual questions Caduceus about whether he will really be released. Caduceus says he should probably be fine. Not convinced, Marius asks Caduceus if the two of them could run together. Caduceus won't commit to running away, but he will ensure that Marius can run if he decides to.

Fjord takes the name Captain Tusktooth to command the crew. With experienced hands on board, The Mistake is able to pick up speed towards the Inkclaw Reef.

Caleb casts Find Familiar to change Frumpkin into a tiny, one ounce owl. He loans Frumpkin to Beau for a week and tells Frumpkin to listen to her. He says he wants to thank her for not telling anyone about his past.

The day at sea goes by without incident. During their watch that night, Caduceus asks Nott why she has been making extremely obvious attempts to cheer up him and include him. Nott tells him many of the Mighty Nein, not her, were outcasts before they banded together. Now that they're traveling doing (mostly) good things, they rely on each other. Nott has been trying to keep the group together. Caduceus tells her he's on board with the Mighty Nein, for now. He also tells Nott it's okay to take care of "her boy". Nott asks Caduceus to stick close to Caleb and heal him once they get to the island. Nott says her time with the Mighty Nein has seemed like a sign to her even though she is not religious. She thinks it means there could be another chapter for all of them. Caduceus seems surprised and says he thought he had Nott figured out.

Fjord takes the next watch that evening. He sees a shadowy, human sized figure perched up in the mast. He sounds an alarm. The figure flies towards a sail and begins to slash at it. Six harpies swoop out of the darkness. Three of them swipe at sails and slash them. The hired crew begins to run belowdecks and hide. Two harpies try to pick up members of the crew. Another harpy lands on the deck and begins to sing. The mystical song charms Nott and one of the hired hands. The rest of the Mighty Nein resist the song's effect and attack. Jester's Spiritual Weapon and Caduceus's Swarm of Beetles hurt one harpy enough that it stops singing. Nott and Yasha kill one before she can fly away holding one of the crew. Caleb casts Fear and forces two more to flee. The harpy that sang, now severely injured, flies away as well. One remaining manages to pick up another deck hand and starts to fly away with him. The last attacks Beau. Beau takes out the harpy after her with Flurry of Blows. Caduceus and Nott dispatch the one harpy left, stopping it from carrying the deck hand away.

Caleb suddenly grabs his chest and falls over. Nott starts yelling that Caleb has a heart condition and needs mouth to mouth. Jester goes to examine Caleb. She falls for the deception. Caleb drops the act after Jester starts to actually blow air into his lungs. Nott continues the ruse, saying the power of friendship healed Caleb. The group does not seem to be fooled. Jester climbs up the mast to cast Mending to fix the sails. Caduceus is confused. Fjord sarcastically asks how they can further prevent further "heart episodes". Nott responds they need only more friendship. Fjord tells Beau to give an already blushing and uncomfortable Caleb a hug. She very awkwardly does.

Caduceus goes belowdecks to tell the crew everything is all right. Nott butchers one of the harpy corpses and gives the leftovers to Caduceus to Decompose and start to make tea or fungus.

Inkclaw Reef
On the morning of the third day, Orly informs Fjord they have arrived at the Inkclaw Reef. Fjord looks at the dodecahedron to receive a Fragment of Possibility. Using the map found on The Mistake, Fjord and Orly find the channel through the reefs marked by sticks tied together and secured to float just under the surface in the water. As the channel gets narrower, The Mistake scraps against the edge of one of the reefs. At the moment, the ship is not taking on water. They continue through the reef. The channel begins to narrow as they pass the third marker. An island is visible on the horizon.

The final turn through the reef is even tighter. The bottom of The Mistake starts to grind against the reef, taking more damage. Part of the hull bursts open. Water begins to fill the cargo hold. Jester realizes the damage is beyond the capability of her Mending cantrip and calls for Gallan (the ship's carpenter) to help. Beau and the crew start filling up empty barrels with water to stop it from building up in the hull. Jester and Yasha try to seal the hole in the hull with an empty barrel, but the water is too strong. Caleb begins casting Leomund's Tiny Hut, but will need 10 minutes before the spell is complete. Caduceus casts Water Walk on Fjord, who throws the mattress from the captain's quarters over the side. Fjord jumps over and brings the mattress with him to cover up the hole from the outside. Suction holds the mattress against the hole in the hull. On the inside, the crew start pulling barrels apart to hammer wood over the hole. Gallan sees Jester doing a bad job patching the hole and takes over. He successfully patches the hole. It now is a slow but manageable leak. To fully repair the ship, they need to dock somewhere.

Caleb finishes casting Leomund's Tiny Hut, creating a magic sphere around him. As long as he stays next to the hole, the magic will block more water from coming in. Back on deck now, Caduceus notices there is another ship near the island. The Mistake heads away from the ship but not before they are spotted. The other ship, which Fjord notices is much larger, moves towards them, opens gun port doors, and fires a warning shot. Caduceus puts up the flag that Captain Jawgrasp had been flying. Fjord commands The Mistake to slow down and casts Disguise Self to look like Captain Jawgrasp. Two rowboats come from the other ship towards The Mistake.

As the Mighty Nein prepare for a possible parlay with whoever is on the other ship, the episode closes.

The Mighty Nein

 * Beauregard
 * Caduceus Clay
 * Fjord
 * Frumpkin
 * Jester Lavorre
 * Nott
 * Yasha Nydoorin (DM-controlled)
 * Caleb Widogast

Returning

 * Marion Lavorre (via Jester's Sending spell)
 * Marius LePual
 * Orly Skiffback
 * Sprinkle
 * Gallan Westman

Mentioned

 * Avantika
 * Javeed Jawgrasp
 * Mollymauk Tealeaf
 * Nugget
 * Professor Thaddeus
 * The Traveler
 * The Wildmother

Quotations
Beau: In a fucked up way, I can actually relate to that quite a lot. For me, I've always had my fists. And man, is it way easier to solve problems when you're beating the shit out of somebody. [. . .] I feel bad; I've treated people like shit my whole life. And having one transformative moment doesn't mean that you're immediately going to be a different person overnight and being better is something you have to work at, I guess. Caleb: I don't know if you're joking or not, but I'm going to do it.
 * Jester: (to Caduceus) A lot of times I think that maybe The Traveler has left me and I think maybe things are going poorly and he doesn't like me anymore; but sometimes he'll just show up after a while and tell me that I was on the right path all along, and he just made it fun for me to find it again.
 * Beau: I've done a lot of shitty things and I've made a lot of shitty decisions and a lot of mistakes. And after Molly I told myself I was going to try and not do that as much, but it's fucking hard.
 * Fjord: Magic's new to me; this sword is new to me. I didn't have most of this all of my life. All I had was my words to get out of situations, to try and heal conflict, to try and outsmart somebody. And now all of a sudden, I have this power; and I feel like it's a shortcut and I've been cheating myself. I don't feel like I've put forth the same effort to resolve something because I can just will something into happening. That doesn't seem right to me.
 * Fjord: (to Beauregard) I'll check you, you'll check me.
 * Nott: We'll keep them together. If all else fails, fake a heart attack. Everyone will go to your aid, and when they save you, we'll be like "Yeah! We saved him! Yeah!"

Nott: The stars? Caleb: That's a planet, that one. That's another place. Nott: No, we're on the planet. [. . . ] Caleb: There really is another world. Nott: No, no, no, we're on the world. Caleb: Fine. Matt: Nott is a One Earther. Jester: Only sometimes, but it passes really quickly. Caduceus: What kind of sign? Nott: A sign that there could be, for all of us, another chapter. Caduceus: Wow. I thought I had you figured out. Never mind. All right. Nott: I'm gonna drink now.
 * Caleb: (pointing out a planet in the sky to Nott) You see the sun is coming up, but you can still see one or two up there. You see that one?
 * Fjord: I have...a series of...um...expectations...but I wouldn't call it a plan... (responding to Caduceus asking if Fjord has a plan)
 * Caleb: Don't make me run, I'm full of chocolates!
 * Sam: I look like Cap'n Crunch, by the way. (describing how Nott looks after casting Disguise Self in Nicodranas)
 * Matt: I'm so happy this campaign you guys have a mostly deceptive, illusory based party. This really makes for a lot of shenanigans.
 * Marion Lavorre: (responding to Jester's Sending spell) Oh! Well, thank you for letting me know, Jester. Be safe, be bright, and make me proud. And come back soon. You and your friends. Goodbye!
 * Nott: And between you and me...Jester's a really bad Cleric...
 * Nott: Harpy! Harpy! I'm your biggest fan!
 * Jester: Sometimes the things that are the most beautiful are the things that can hurt the most.
 * Fjord: Are you sad, Jester?
 * Nott: I'm not a religious lady. But I will tell you that, for me, this journey with this group has been a bit of a sign. And I know that you're questioning whether it was for you, but...

Trivia

 * Matthew Mercer received toxic comments and criticism on Discord and social media for his support of Dr. Christine Blasey Ford at the top of the show. Matt responded on Twitter that many in the Critter community (and many of his friends) are among the millions of women who have suffered from sexual assaults and sexual abuse, and defended his support as human decency for a woman who bravely stood before the world to confront her abuser.
 * Five out of seven members of the Mighty Nein can cast the spell Disguise Self.