Transcript:Axiom Shaken

Pre-show
MATT: Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

ALL: (shouting) We play Dungeons & Dragons.

MATT: We are unfortunately down one Taliesin Jaffe tonight. He's not feeling well, so hope to have him back next episode. We love you, Taliesin, wherever you are. Happy to have you back soon.

TRAVIS: Meow meow.

MATT: So, I'll be doing something with that. But before we jump into tonight's episode, we do have some announcements to get through, beginning with our first sponsor of the evening, Cash App. Sam.

SAM: (announcer voice) We're back on the Finger Championship Games, brought to you by Cash App, the easiest way to send, spend, and save money, the number one finance app in the App Store and connect that to direct deposit and get paid two days early. That's money.

MARISHA: (ominously) So you're back to fight us.

SAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: (shouts) No more tricks this time, McSam.

ASHLEY: Let's settle this feud the way real wrestlers do, by fingering each other in an 11 inch by 11 inch plastic ring.

SAM: Me versus High Five and The Finger Blaster--

MARISHA: (growls)

SAM: -- and who else? The Thumb? Doesn't seem fair... to you. (laughs)

LAURA: I don't know, guys. I still don't have, like, any special powers or anything.

ASHLEY: Come on, Thumb, we need you!

LAURA: I mean, you put me over at this table. You all are over there.

ASHLEY: That's true.

MARISHA: Okay, look, if we beat McSam, he promised to let us out of his eternal contract.

SAM: And if I win, you three have to change your names to the GLOV(E). That's the Gorgeous Ladies of Vince. Do you accept these terms? My name's Vince McSam.

TRAVIS: Oh. (laughs)

LAURA: Oh, that's right.

MARISHA: Let's get digital.

SAM: Okay, here we go.

MARISHA: Oh, what? What the? Are those your feet? Do your fingers have feet? (laughter)

SAM: That's my superpower, the power to gross you out.

ASHLEY: Ugh.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

SAM: Ready and--

MARISHA: Oh god.

SAM: Fight!

MARISHA: Oh god. Why does your hand smell like cheese?

SAM: Oh!

MARISHA: No! Oh!

SAM: One, two.

MARISHA: It's touching me!

SAM: Three! It's over.

MARISHA: Oh my, oh my hand! (laughter)

SAM: My feet!

MARISHA: You scalped me.

SAM: I beheaded you!

MARISHA: (screams)

SAM: You're next High Five! Get in here.

ASHLEY: Oh, eww, you have bunions, I'm not going to touch that.

SAM: Get in here!

ASHLEY: Disgusting!

SAM: Round one.

ASHLEY: Oh, no.

SAM: Two, three, you're done.

ASHLEY: Oh, fuck.

SAM: You couldn't focus because of my grossness.

MARISHA: Oh, I can't--

LAURA: Not so fast!

SAM: What? Wait, what did you just say?

MARISHA: There's still one member of FLOW left.

SAM: The Thumb! You don't even ave a superpower. You're nothing, a stubby, inconsequential wannabe! You're not even a real finger.

LAURA: What you don't understand, Vince McSam-- That's what you don't understand! (laughter)

LAURA: People have told me I don't measure up. I'm too short. I'm too boring. I bend the wrong way. Well, I'm here to say that sometimes you have to thumb your nose at the haters. I'm The Thumb, goddamn it, and my superpower is I don't give a shit.

SAM: What?

ASHLEY: Whoa!

LAURA: (guttural screams)

SAM: A nice speech, but let's see you put your knuckle where your mouth is. Let's fight.

SAM and LAURA: (grunt)

LAURA: Oh, my hair!

SAM: Oh, my foot!

SAM: Oh!

LAURA: Ah!

SAM: Oh, no.

LAURA: You want to criticize me? How's this?

SAM: Oh!

LAURA: Oh shit, sorry.

SAM: It's fine! I'm acting, I'm acting. (laughter)

SAM: (screams)

LAURA: One, two, three, you're finished. Now, Vince McSam, I think you owe me something.

SAM: You're right. With my broken, bloody hand I'm going to use Cash App to send you your championship payment with ease plus interest, plus penalties, plus royalties, plus punitive damages and sent.

LAURA: Ooh, $6. Thank you.

SAM: Okay, when you sign up, use code CRITROLE for $15 and $10 will go to our very own Critical Role Foundation. Terms apply. That's the end, and that's money. Matt, back to you. (laughter)

MATT: That was magnificent.

TRAVIS: Wow.

MATT: Wow.

TRAVIS: What you don't understand--

MARISHA: FLOW!

MARISHA and TRAVIS: What you don't understand! (laughter)

ASHLEY: What you don't understand is that's what you don't understand.

MATT: It was perfect. It's perfect. Character arc was incredible.

ASHLEY: It really was.

MATT: Our second sponsor for tonight is Battle Spirit Saga, the new competitive trading card game from Bandai, coming spring of 2023. After 14 long years and over 60 booster sets in Japan Battle Spirits is finally reborn for competitive game players in North America, Europe, Latin America, and Oceania.

MARISHA: Whoa.

LAURA: Ooh.

MATT: Oceania!

LAURA: Ooh!

MATT: This world consists of six realms, flame, gloom, radiance, frost, forest, and water. Long ago the realms were disparate lands in constant conflict. Then 250 years ago, a hero named Kai appeared ending the wars and unifying the realms with a single peaceful empire under his rule. However, as many histories have proven, peace never lasts. Law and order has grown and the empire's authority has begun to wane threatening an end to the era. (pants) We have received one of every currently announced color to showcase here for the first time. Ooh.

ALL: Ooh!

SAM: It says "Matt will show all five cards on screen."

MATT: I'm showing you all the cards on screen. See! It's so cool. (laughter)

MATT: The foil is spooky with its slick, shiny, beautiful texture and design. These are all early run examples of the cards. The best part is that you can win them all.

SAM: "Matt pauses for a second."

MATT: It's a big announcement. (laughter)

MATT: Bandai's offering a $1 million--

ALL: (shouting) What!

MATT: -- Worldwide organized play.

SAM: Wait, what?

MATT: -- season starting in April, but it begins with a special $350,000 launch event in March. Are you ready for a revolutionary card game experience?

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: (sheepishly) Sorry. Check out the full cinematic trailer now live on the official Bandai card games YouTube channel. If you're interested in playing, free demo decks will be available at participating local game stores starting in January.

TRAVIS: We got to start playing these cards.

SAM: $1 million!

MARISHA: What the hell?

MATT: So make sure to head to bit.ly/BSSCRIT to follow @BSS_TCG.

TRAVIS: Nice!

MATT: You got it in one. And comment what you would do if you won on its pinned tweet with #BSSxCriticalRole to be entered into a random drawing for the five card test printings! Don't miss out on this chance to win.

SAM: Oh.

MATT: (sighs)

LIAM: Wow.

SAM: That was a lot of copy.

LIAM: Learned a lot.

ASHLEY: Nice.

MATT: Marisha.

TRAVIS: I got your hair. (laughter)

MATT: It looks like you reached too far in your nose. (laughter)

TRAVIS: (screams)

LAURA: My brains!

MARISHA: Well, a reminder for everyone that we'll be taking our end of the month break next week because Matt's going to need it after that. (laughter)

MARISHA: As it's the last Thursday of the month and also the end of the year.

TRAVIS: Oh no, the last one of the year.

MARISHA: Last one of the year. We'll return with Campaign 3, Episode 44 on January 5th, 2023!

SAM: That's the future.

TRAVIS: How does that even happen?

MARISHA: It's the future!

TRAVIS: How does that even happen?

MATT: I don't know, too fast.

MARISHA: I really did go very fast. Liam!

LIAM: Let's talk about comic books. Critical Role-- (laughter)

LIAM: Critical Role, The Mighty Nein Origins: Fjord Stone is available.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Oh, I want it.

MARISHA: Look at that!

LIAM: It's so pretty. This motherfucking beautiful book was created by our very own Travis Willingham and Matthew Mercer in partnership with our friends at Dark Horse Comics. It was written by Chris "Doc" Wyatt and Kevin Burke with artist Selina Espiritu, love, joined by colorist Diana Sousa and letterer Ariana Maher. You can find your copy at your friendly local comic shops.

TRAVIS: I love it.

LIAM: And it's coming soon to bookstores. These books are so pretty. Also, be on the lookout for the Mighty Nein Origins: Nott The Brave coming next year.

MARISHA: Oh shit.

SAM: I got to write it.

MARISHA: Oh shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: Oh, and Sam, Travis wants to talk about the thing.

TRAVIS: Oh, oh, yeah, sure, in case you missed it Season 2 of the Legend of Vox Machina is coming to Prime Video on January 20th!

MATT: Yeah! (clapping)

TRAVIS: And if for some reason you haven't watched the trailer yet, you fools, please go check it out. You can check it out during our break. It is the jam.

MARISHA: Yeah. Yeah!

ASHLEY: Fly, you fools.

MATT: Fly, you fools, indeed. I believe--

TRAVIS: Watch! (laughter)

MATT: No, you can keep going.

TRAVIS: One man show.

MATT and TRAVIS: (laugh)

ASHLEY: I'm done.

MATT: Okay. Well, and so are the announcements, it seems.

TRAVIS: Mister Baggins!

ASHLEY: Oh boy.

MATT: Which I think leads us into tonight's episode and the last episode of the year of Critical Role.

TRAVIS: Braah! (wind rushing)

Part I
MATT: And welcome back. So. Last we left off: Bells Hells, after finishing their excursion to meet up with the Gorgynei to aid Chetney in dealing with this strange new tethered Ruidus odd lycanthrope incursion took on elements of the bestial spirit that existed within the temple. Went to the trial and in doing so, walked away with a little bit of inspiration to move forward with this curse that he bears. All of you then absconded back to the skyship that awaited you and headed off to the City of Flowing Light, Yios itself. Upon arrival in the evening there in the skyport and lounge, you-- (laughs)

LAURA: And casino.

MATT: And casino. You played some games of chance. You made some coin. You lost some coin. You gathered a little bits of information about the surroundings, and essentially prepared yourselves for the following day. You booked a room for the night and met an individual named Landon who was eager to show you around the city for a bit, for a little bit of coin.

LAURA: That's right.

MATT: He met you first thing in the morning as you made your way to the bottom part of the tower and then began your first day out amongst the city here in the middle of the lake. Wandering around, you had some tidbits of a history lesson on the town. You managed to eyeball a few interesting locations as you headed towards the northern ward of the city. The ring that contained your destination for the morning, the Aydinlan Seminary. While you walked through the wide, well groomed streets, Aydinlan, L-A-N

LIAM: Aydinlan.

MATT and LAURA: Aydinlan.

LAURA: Aydinlan.

MARISHA: Aydinlan?

MATT: Yes.

ASHLEY: (accented) I don't know. (laughter)

MATT: That's it.

ASHLEY: It's ruined.

LAURA: That's ruined.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: (accented) I don't know.

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: I don't know.

LAURA: I don't know.

MATT: You eventually found, amongst the statues of various historical figures who founded and maintained the city of Yios since its first construction, to the grounds of the seminary itself, the high walls and gardened elements, the free standing archways and the visage of the massive buildings that form the actual seminary halls. Upon approaching the tall climbing stairs and leaving your companion Landon behind to possibly go about his business and maybe come back around if you need more help wandering through the city, you begin to ascend the stairs before FCG heard a familiar sound.

SAM: Oh no.

MATT: And saw a familiar sight.

SAM: He's found me. I don't know how, but he's found me.

MATT: Just as you look up and see this gnarled looking bird-like creature with a long, nasty-looking hooked bill, clouded eyes, patches of missing feathers, these long, oily wings that themselves are turned in awkward directions and patterns and ways as like, (screeching) screeches down from the top before it (air whooshing) dives off the top of the building (screeching) towards you, FCG. And with that--

SAM: What? "And with that?"

LAURA: Jump out of the way, FCG.

MATT: Does a 22 hit you?

SAM: Yes! Good gravy.

MATT: (clashing impact)

SAM: (screams)

TRAVIS: Shit!

MATT: You watch, yes, as a massive payload of greenish, somewhat yellowed liquid scatters across the top of FCG's--

LAURA: (gasps)

ASHLEY: Whoa!

MATT: -- head and shoulders, smattering with a faint bit of a misty blow back to those in the immediate vicinity. But--

TRAVIS: Explosively shat on you.

MATT: As the bird (whooshing) picks up (screeching) to circle back around. You all glance back and see just this slow drizzle down the face of your metallic companion.

SAM: Is there damage?

MATT: You take one point of poison damage.

SAM: I'm resistant to poison.

MATT: You still take one point of poison damage, and I need you to make a constitution saving throw, please.

SAM: A constitution saving throw?

MATT: Yes.

TRAVIS: Oh no, mood board.

SAM: It's real good, 21.

MATT: 21. You're fine.

SAM: I'm okay.

MATT: It's arcing around. What are you all doing?

TRAVIS: I'm going to hold his arms.

ASHLEY: What is this bird?

MATT: (screeching)

SAM: It's a specter of my nightmares. I-I-It follows me. It haunts me. It knows what I've done.

MATT: (intense flapping)

LAURA: Oh god.

ASHLEY: I'm going to fling my dress over you.

SAM: You have a dress? I thought you were naked all the time.

MARISHA: What?

LAURA: She's got a--

SAM: That's how I've always pictured her.

LAURA: Have you seen her art?

SAM: I am picturing a deer.

LAURA: She's got a dress on.

ASHLEY: It's very pretty.

MATT: Got it? Yeah.

SAM: Oh, you've got clothes.

ASHLEY: I'm going to put my fabric, I'm going to put some fabric over you.

MATT: So you wrap around as it swoops down. (bird screeching)

LAURA: What course should we be right now?

MATT: It's coming into a dive. Anybody else reacting to this?

TRAVIS: Hard core!

LAURA: I'm going to, yes, I'm-- Can I cast a spell?

MATT: Yeah. What do you want?

LAURA: I'm going to use a sorcery point to double my distance, do a Distant Spell and I'm going to cast Inflict Wounds when it gets within range.

MARISHA: What?

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Good!

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: Kill it.

LIAM: I'm going to-- Orym's going to push Fearne and FCG back and use Bait and Switch to get in front of them. And you get an additional-- Letters. Two points to your AC.

ASHLEY: Nice!

SAM: Okay, I'll take it.

LIAM: Moment, for the next attack, I guess.

TRAVIS: As it comes close, I'll use Speak With Small Beasts to communicate a simple idea with small or smaller beasts.

LAURA: Oh, that's great.

TRAVIS: Why are you shitting on our friend?

TRAVIS and MATT: (laugh)

MATT: Okay, so you shout that out while you are--

LIAM: Shielding, I guess, Fearne's nether regions and the robot underneath.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: You got it, as you using Distant Spell.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: To give it a 30-foot range as it just (screeching) arcs down. Roll for an attack against it.

LAURA: Okay, okay.

ASHLEY: Ooh.

LAURA: Ooh. 27.

MATT: 27, roll damage.

TRAVIS: Oh, jeez!

TRAVIS: (vanishing puff) (laughter)

MARISHA: Inflict Wounds on some bird.

LAURA: I only did it at 1st-level, so--

MATT: 3d10.

LAURA: 3d10.

TRAVIS: It looks like a bird.

MARISHA: Everyone is getting, pulling out--

LAURA: I can't find--

MARISHA: -- all their big guns here. I don't--

LIAM: He didn't say bird, he said bird-like creature.

LAURA: Oh, it was the worst roll I've ever rolled. Well, no, that's a lie, but it's four points of damage.

SAM: On 3d10?

LAURA: Yes.

TRAVIS: Wow.

LAURA: Two ones and a two.

MATT: Four points of damage. (screeching) It screeches down as it-- you spin around and then concentrate this somewhat ethereal burst of darkened purple energy (crackling electricity) bursts out towards it. As it strikes it, you watch as the energy tears across its wings. Feathers go scattering off it, as it (screeching) manages to lose its cohesion of a flight for just a moment. But it begins to swoop down right towards the direction of where you and Fearne are guarding and you shout out this phrase. It seems focused and not paying attention at the moment.

TRAVIS: Motherfucker.

MATT: You guys doing anything?

LAURA: I just--

LIAM: Anything new?

LAURA: I can't do anything else again?

MATT: That was your turn, now it's these two here.

LAURA: Yep.

MATT: You're protecting him, so it's going to go ahead--

TRAVIS: That's crazy. What?

LIAM: I'm going to wait 'til it's as close as possible and I'm going to use Grasping Vines on it.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Ooh. You can do that? Have you done that?

LIAM: Because of Seedling, The Wayward Pilgrim. My god-blessed blade.

TRAVIS: Seedling!

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: Oh, that's what it is. I'm so confused.

MATT: All right. So what's its DC? Dexterity saving throw, I assume?

LIAM: That is, as I look, the DC is 14.

MATT: 14. It did roll a natural 19.

LIAM: (groans)

MATT: So as you swing the sword, and the tethered, long-reaching vine whips out its direction, it dips right below it and curls up around as its wings are pulling up and it's rearing its rear end for another attack. As you release this, Fearne, what's your--

SAM: Fearne, it's going to get you! It's going to get you!

ASHLEY: What's my move? Or what's my AC?

MATT: What are you doing?

ASHLEY: I am going to--

SAM: Don't let it mark you.

TRAVIS: What's my name?

ASHLEY: What do you mean? Mark me with what?

MARISHA: More context, FCG.

SAM: If it marks you, it'll haunt you forever!

ASHLEY: It's just a bird.

SAM: That's what you think, but it's more than that.

MATT: (screeching)

ASHLEY: All right. All right.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Where the fuck is it?

TRAVIS: (laughs)

ASHLEY: I'm going to Ice Knife.

MATT: Ice Knife, okay.

ASHLEY: Yes.

TRAVIS: Ice bath?

ASHLEY, LAURA, and SAM: Ice Knife.

MATT: Yeah, ice bath.

ASHLEY: Ice bath.

SAM: (laughs)

MATT: Just to cool it down a little bit.

SAM: It's swollen.

ASHLEY: 16.

MATT: 16 hits.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LIAM: Aim for that third eye.

ASHLEY: No, that's a five.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

SAM: Wait, what?

ASHLEY: 13.

SAM: Oh.

MATT: 13. Okay. You launch out the Ice Knife as it ends up diving up underneath Orym's vine, and is swinging in your direction. It freezes in the middle of the air and just drops before hitting the ground. The ice that encased it shatters, and its body limply (tumbling) down the stairs until it stops just past your ankle and is limp, lifeless, on the step next to you.

ASHLEY: It's dead! It's dead! I just killed it.

SAM: I don't think it is.

TRAVIS: (unsheathes weapon) (yells)

MARISHA: Are you murdering it?

SAM: Are you going to go kill it?

TRAVIS: I'm just going to make sure it's finished. I'll pounce on the beast, chisel out.

SAM: I can't see anything.

ASHLEY: Do you want out?

SAM: Is it all right?

ASHLEY: I think it's dead.

SAM: That's impo-- okay. I'll lift up the skirt and sort of peek at it.

MATT: It is thoroughly broken. Jagged shards of ice are quickly melting from within the wounds that it has pierced its body with. Its cloudy eyes are half rolled back, and its body is still across the steps about five, 10 feet down from where Fearne is.

LIAM: Chetney flying through the air.

MATT: Yeah. Standing over with the chisel at the ready.

SAM: Is it lifeless, or just sort of almost semi-conscious?

MATT: It's not moving.

SAM: Okay. I'll go over and I'll cast Speak With Animals and say: Are you alive? Are you okay? Are you alive? Nothing.

MATT: Nothing.

SAM: I have to know why.

LAURA: You got to wake it up.

SAM: All right.

ASHLEY: Slap it.

SAM: First, I'll just cast--

TRAVIS: Oh, are we going to inflict torture? Are you going to heal it and then kill it--

SAM: I just cast Spare the Dying real quick.

TRAVIS: -- and then heal it and kill it again?

MATT: Okay.

SAM: To stabilize it.

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

SAM: So now it can't die, right? Or is it already dead? I don't know what this thing is.

LAURA: Try to heal it. Chetney's got a chisel right over it.

SAM: Heal it? It could haunt me forever.

MATT: One of the wings snaps back into place.

LAURA and ASHLEY: Oh.

SAM: (gasps)

MATT: One of its talons picks up, and its head like-- (neck creaking)

SAM: You see? You see? You see!

MATT: It looks over towards you with larger, bulging, cloudy eye. (guttural croaking) It starts to try and pull back from you, Chetney.

TRAVIS: Can I sense fey, fiend, or undead, just to see if this is an actual bird of some kind or something else?

MATT: Yeah, you can. Yeah, there is definitely sort of an undead signature, looking at the way it moves, the way it's shifting, there is an undead energy to it.

TRAVIS: This is not a normal beast.

SAM: I know!

TRAVIS: It's not a normal avian species. It's undead.

ASHLEY: How do you know this undead bird?

SAM: It's been following me for my entire existence. Hold it down! Hold it down!

TRAVIS: I got it!

LAURA: Oh no!

MATT: It tries to take off, you're going to try and hold it?

TRAVIS: I got its neck.

MATT: Okay, so--

LAURA: I'm going to try to cast Command on it.

MATT: Okay. So while you're casting Command, both of them are going to try and hold it. I need both of you guys to make either separate athletics checks, or one of you with advantage. It's going to attempt to try and slip out.

ASHLEY: I think you should do it.

TRAVIS: Okay. (laughter)

TRAVIS: 22.

MATT: 22. You definitely maintain a hold on it, as it-- (screeching) It's trying to fly its way out, you grab its legs, pull it back down, and wrestle and hold it. It's definitely has a slickness to its body like a slight residue that's greasy and smearing onto your body as you hold it.

TRAVIS: Hot.

MATT: As you try and help best you can, to grab the edge of the wings--

LAURA: Oh, I guess I can't Command it.

MATT: -- you're casting Command on it.

LAURA: I can't Command it unless it can understand me.

SAM: Maybe it can.

TRAVIS: I'm going to reach out and cover its eyes.

LAURA: All right. You know when you put a blanket--

LAURA: Oh no.

TRAVIS: -- over a canary cage.

LAURA: That's not going to work. That doesn't work.

TRAVIS: I try and

SAM: That doesn't work?

LAURA: Uh-uh. It wouldn't work.

TRAVIS: -- double cap--

MARISHA: Make it go to sleep?

SAM: Why?

TRAVIS: -- its eyes.

LAURA: It's undead.

TRAVIS: Does it have a long buzzard's neck, or is it like--?

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: Command doesn't work?

TRAVIS: Okay.

LAURA: Mm-mm.

MATT: It's an awkward creature.

TRAVIS: Okay, okay.

MATT: Through and through.

MARISHA: FCG, just try and talk to it. Maybe it's just misunderstood.

LAURA: Yeah, find out what is happening.

SAM: All right, still with Speak With Animals cast, I will say: What do you want with me? Who are you? Who sent you? What do you know about me?

MATT: As its eyes are being held by Chetney from behind, (guttural avian calls) You hear through the filter of arcane information coming into your ears, the voice crackles through this horrible guttural, like smoking cigarettes every day for 30 years. "I don't know, there's just something about you I have to ruin." (laughter)

SAM: What?! Do you know my past? Do you know? Are you--

MATT: "I know everything about you. No, I don't know anything. I just don't like the way you look."

SAM: What? You're not penance for my--

MATT: "Sure, whatever you want me to be. You're just a good talker."

SAM: Well, how can I get you to leave me alone?

SAM: "You can't. If I'm here forever, I'm making myself everyone else's problem."

TRAVIS: What are we doing, FCG?

SAM: Oh god, did you just break the chair?

TRAVIS: No, we're good. (laughter) (laughter)

TRAVIS: It's just my femur. (laughter)

SAM: I don't know if it can be killed, but let's try.

MARISHA: (stammering) What? Look at it.

ASHLEY: Wait, but what were you even talking about?

LAURA: What did it say? What did it say?

MARISHA: What did it say?

MATT: You sure you got it, right?

MATT: Its going to try and break free again. Make an athletics check.

SAM: Help hold it!

ASHLEY: I'm holding onto Chetney's--

LAURA: The Rod of Holding or something--

SAM: Do you have a Rod of--

LAURA: -- don't we have the--

SAM: Oh, that's not going to do anything.

TRAVIS: 12.

LAURA: You can stab it.

MATT: 12's not enough.

MARISHA: Yeah, that's my guess.

LIAM: Got that and a rope.

MATT: As you're saying this, it muscles its way out of Chetney's grasp and--

SAM and TRAVIS: (yell)

LAURA: No, no, no!

MATT: Begins to take up into the sky.

LIAM: I Grasping Vine again, again! 14 DC.

MATT: 14 DC. That is a natural 19, holy shit! Okay, yeah.

LIAM: It's unstoppable!

SAM: I know! That's what I'm trying to tell you people!

MARISHA: I pull out Pâté. Pâté--

SAM: Oh, you just want to hear this conversation.

MARISHA: Yeah, I really do. (laughter)

LIAM: You're right about that!

ASHLEY: Oh no! (laughter)

MARISHA: Pâté!

MATT: "Yeah, yeah, what you looking for?"

MARISHA: We're dealing with a bird who seems like he's a little bit like us. Honestly, he's cute.

MATT: "Oh really, we got a little friend. That's great. I'm so excited!"

MARISHA: Anyway, he keeps bothering FCG, so maybe, why don't you go talk to him?

MATT: "Okay! (yells)" As you chuck it up, the bird's now taking up and watches Pâté, loops for a second and then picks up his own wing speed. What's the fly speed of Pâté?

MARISHA: I feel like it's pretty good, 40 feet.

MATT: 40 feet, a little too slow, unfortunately. Shithead can fly a little faster. But you do watch as he, "Hey, you! Hey, come on back. We're just supposed to be friends. Don't shit on ours." The bird just begins to take off. Pâté just keeps following.

SAM: Is he not circling around? He's just flying away?

MATT: It looks like he's flying away at the moment, yeah.

SAM: (groans)

MARISHA: Oh, wait, Pâté is on him. We can follow him. We can track him.

SAM: For how long? Can Pâté fly forever?

MARISHA: I don't know.

TRAVIS: Oh shit. I should've-- (laughs) I should have hit him.

MARISHA: I could have Hexed him real quick. Hang on, how far away is he? How far away is he?

MATT: By now, we'll say at this point, 60, 120 feet.

MARISHA: Hex!

MATT: Because he did double move, well, he did break free. It was an action to break free, and it was 60-foot movement, So 60 feet.

MARISHA: 60 feet?

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Hex.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Hex yeah!

MARISHA: Hex yeah.

MATT: And that just happens? There's no saving throw on that, if I recall.

MARISHA: Correct.

MATT: All right. So right as it starts flying away, Pâté behind it, "Wait! I want a buddy!" (laughter)

MARISHA: For clarity, I'm casting at my one 3rd-level slot.

MATT: Okay. So now it lasts for--

MARISHA: So I can track him for eight hours.

SAM and MATT: (laugh)

SAM: This is our day now? (laughter)

LIAM: But we're on the steps of the Seminary.

SAM: Turn around.

LAURA: Right here.

TRAVIS: Bells Hells Duck Hunt. ("Duck Hunt" duck quacks)

MATT and MARISHA: (laugh)

TRAVIS: ♪ ("Super Mario Bros." Underground Theme) ♪

MATT: There it is. (dog laugh from "Duck Hunt")

MARISHA: I have two 3rd-level--

TRAVIS: (dog bark from "Duck Hunt")

MARISHA: Two 3rd-level slots.

MATT: All right, so you watch as elements of the nearby shadow of the rising towers of the Seminary, as it begins to try and fly off in this off-kilter, partially broken and slowly mending pattern to its wings. The shadows stick to it like they're firing ink from the far corners where the light isn't quite reaching. As it sticks to the bird, the Hex takes form, and you sense within your consciousness, Laudna, you can feel where it is, no matter where it goes, as it leaves your visual range, and the bird flies off a little sign of little Pâté. This nightmarish fairy-like creature, and keeping off there going, "Why?"

LIAM: You said, as it was leaving, its wings were repairing themselves to a degree?

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: Great.

LAURA: So it can heal itself?

SAM: Yeah, it's not--

LAURA: Did it say why it was undead? What happened to it?

SAM: I believe-- What happened to it? I didn't get into an origin story.

LAURA: Well, why didn't you ask it?

SAM: It was only down here for six seconds.

LIAM: Well, why don't you tell us what you know? You just said that that thing was following you for your whole existence. Your new existence? Or your existence?

SAM: As long as I've been around, I've known it, and it's known me, and it's been following me. It's not always there, but it always seems to find me again, wherever I go. No matter what I'm doing. And it desecrates me.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

LAURA: It shits on you?

SAM: It shits on my head.

TRAVIS: I want to know--

SAM: At first.

LAURA: Prestidigitation.

TRAVIS: What's going on in your head right now.

SAM: At first, I thought it was just a pesky bird that thought my head wires were some sort of a nest. Later, I thought that it was just some sort of a prank or something that my former adventuring party was playing it on me. But now I realize that I think it's like an albatross. It's my guilt for things I've done in the past, and it's haunting me.

MARISHA: It looked like it could actually have been an albatross as well. Like an albatross-albatross.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

SAM: It knows what I've done. I don't even know what I've done, but it knows what I've done.

TRAVIS: What does it look like? Like an eagle, vulture, buzzard, condor?

MATT: Yes.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MARISHA: He's had art this whole time.

ASHLEY: Yes?

TRAVIS: Fucked up bird of prey?

MATT: Yeah. It--

LAURA: Let me see, let see.

LIAM: It looks like a--

LAURA: Like a stupid vulture.

SAM: (laughs)

MATT: Yeah, it looks like it is probably more of a scavenger bird than a bird of prey. At least at some point. But it has seen some rough times and in doing so, it's hard to really specifically pinpoint what it is.

TRAVIS: Did you do something to this bird? Are you made of bird parts? Did you steal its lover?

LIAM: Yeah, where were you the first time that you saw this thing? Did you disturb it or its home?

SAM: No! No, the first few times I saw it, it was just perched up on an eve, or an overhang.

LIAM: Where? In Jrusar?

SAM: Yes, in Jrusar, and then as me and the Division used to go on adventures and stuff, and we would go out of town sometimes, and I would sometimes see what I thought it was, like its silhouette up in the trees of the forests or amid the rocks if we were going through caves. It was always just sort of there watching, and then it got bolder and bolder, and started swooping down and--

TRAVIS: This is great.

SAM: -- shitting on my head.

TRAVIS: I know exactly what to do. We steal from modern architecture right here. We're going to put spikes all over the top of your head. So it'll either ward him off or if he lands, he just becomes horribly impaled.

MARISHA: Although, if he shits on the spiky head, then it's going to be real hard to clean.

TRAVIS: Think how aggressive you'll look with that new do.

MARISHA: That is--

LIAM: You should also carve a wooden owl and we could put it on top of Letters' head.

TRAVIS: Oh my god. That's way better.

SAM: Oh my god, Ashton. Ashton's gone. (laughter)

MATT: You look around--

LAURA: No.

MATT: -- and Ashton is gone. (gasping)

SAM: Wait, but really though, where? The bird didn't carry off Ashton, did it?

LIAM: Did we see it carry off Ashton?

MATT: No, it's not big enough to carry off Ashton.

LIAM: Anything's possible in this fucking world.

MATT: I know, I know, I know, I know. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Wait, we were having breakfast. We came out.

LAURA and SAM: He was with us.

TRAVIS: He bolted during the bird attack?

SAM: I don't blame him.

LAURA: Has he seen the bird before? I think they--

SAM: No. No, I don't think I was ever-- Maybe I was with Ashton once when this happened, but I certainly didn't make a big deal of it. I've been embarrassed about it for so many years, but now I just feel like it's a sign. That's all I know. I don't know what.

MARISHA: Like a bad omen?

SAM: Yes!

MARISHA: Do bad things happen whenever he shows up? Aside from shitting on your head.

SAM: Aside from that, no.

MARISHA: All right, well...

ASHLEY: What if you accept it and sort of make a space for him? Accept the nest on your head.

SAM: What? (laughs)

ASHLEY: Like if he's been thinking that your wires were a nest, maybe you just set up a little bed for him, and be like, "Let's be friends." I can't believe I'm saying this.

SAM: I don't know if that he'll want to, but I guess I could try to accept the darkness? I mean, he doesn't seem nice.

ASHLEY: Accepting the darkness is kind of fun. It's not that bad as people say.

MARISHA: As she sips from her gingerbread mug.

MATT: Pâté returns. Yep. (laughter)

SAM: She really did a spittake! She spittake all over the place! All of her stuff is covered. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

TRAVIS: Oh, did it go in the bad tube?

MATT: Oh no.

TRAVIS: Go in your lungs? Oh no.

ASHLEY: I laughed and I blocked it.

SAM: I have a little tissue.

MATT: Are you okay?

ASHLEY: Did you blow your nose in this?

SAM: No, no, it's not used. Oh, here's the whole box.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.

MARISHA: Oh my god.

MATT: Pâté slowly returns from the mission.

MARISHA: Did you talk to him?

MATT: "I couldn't quite catch up. I'm really sorry. He's too fast."

MARISHA: It's all right.

MATT: "But it looked like a nice fellow, I'd like to hang out some time."

MARISHA: Do you think he could be maybe a new roommate in your little house that Chetney made for us? So maybe we could be a big happy family?

MATT: "I don't know if there's enough room in that house, but we can certainly try."

MARISHA: All right.

TRAVIS: Should we message Ashton, figure out where they went?

SAM: Oh yeah yeah yeah, good idea.

LIAM: Do I see them in the crowd anywhere if I scan the area?

MATT: Make a perception check.

LIAM: A natural one, which I'll reroll because I'm not Sam. That is a 20.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: A 20.

TRAVIS: Wow.

MATT: You don't see them in the nearby crowd.

SAM: Are you crying over there?

MATT: In the midst of either the arrival-- because you remember them following along with you guys as you arrived here in the ring when you were walking through the city.

MARISHA: Chaos.

ASHLEY: Chaos.

LIAM: I'm with you.

MATT: What is happening?

SAM: I laughed at her bonking her head, and then I bonked my teeth. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Okay. Okay, hold on. The last 10 seconds--

MARISHA: We need to calm down.

TRAVIS: -- is fucking Keystone Cop city.

ASHLEY: What is happening?

TRAVIS: She bent over and smashed her forehead into the table. He laughed at her and cracked his teeth on his binder. This year needs to end! (laughter)

TRAVIS: We're not going to make it. Holy shit!

ASHLEY: ♪ We're not gonna make it ♪

TRAVIS and MARISHA: ♪ No, we're not gonna make it ♪

MATT: Oh my goodness.

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

ASHLEY: Sorry, Matthew. Sorry.

MATT: No, no, it's okay, it's okay.

MARISHA: It's so hot in here.

TRAVIS: It was your forehead, not your nose, right?

LAURA: It was my forehead.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: You don't see them anywhere in the crowd.

LIAM: Okay, they're not there. We don't know where they went.

LAURA: All right, I'll just... You have a way to send a message to somebody closer.

MARISHA: Yes, with just the Message spell that I learned from you.

LAURA: Maybe--

MARISHA: I could, yes! Yes!

LAURA: Oh wait.

MARISHA: Right? Do I have to see him?

SAM: Yes, you have to know the direction they're in.

LAURA: You have the cantrip version, right?

MARISHA: I have the cantrip. I have the basic-ass version.

LAURA: That's within 100 feet, 120 feet?

SAM: 120 feet, and you have to know the direction they're in.

MATT: Yeah.

LAURA: Oh jeez. Okay, then I'll send an actual Sending.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Ashton? Where'd you go?

MATT: Hey, don't worry about it. Following a thing. I'll catch up with you later.

SAM: God, that's so Taliesin.

LAURA: That makes me so mad.

MATT: That was his request.

LIAM: Oh yeah?

TRAVIS: I like it.

LAURA: He's "following a thing."

ASHLEY: Oh.

LAURA: He'll catch up with us.

TRAVIS: Got ideas.

LIAM: Okay.

ASHLEY: Very specific.

LAURA: Maybe he's following Shithead.

SAM: Maybe, but I don't want him to be alone with-- Bad things could--

LAURA: They didn't seem to...

SAM: Be concerned?

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Seems like you warded off the creature. Nicely done.

SAM: I did? I didn't ward it off, y'all--

TRAVIS: No, you didn't do shit. You kind of panicked.

SAM: Of course I panicked.

LIAM: I would say that you're overreacting, but that bird tracked us across the continent to come after you.

MARISHA: Yeah, that's my thing. Was he here? Does he just... Or did he follow you?

SAM: That's what I'm saying. It's like it knows me and knows my existence and knows where I am at all times.

MARISHA: Didn't you see him in Bassuras, or you were afraid he was in Bassuras? Was that where you last saw him?

SAM: When we were in Bassuras, Chetney and I heard and saw something that I thought was him.

MARISHA: Right, and I know this because you casually told it to us between games.

TRAVIS: Yep.

SAM: Yeah, of course I did. I tell you guys everything.

MARISHA: That's what I knew.

TRAVIS: It is strange that he was slightly undead and seemed to be made up of all sorts of different things, and then tracks you.

SAM: Yes, it is weird.

ASHLEY: What if he's a part of you? I don't even know how that even makes sense.

SAM: What does that mean?

ASHLEY: I don't know.

SAM: I'm made of his parts or he's made of my parts?

TRAVIS: Or somebody sent it to follow you.

LAURA: Yeah. Did he seem to know why he was following you?

SAM: He did not.

LAURA: He just said what?

SAM: He kind of was blasé about it. I said, "Why are you following me?" And he said, "I don't know." And then I said, "Are you haunting me because of my past?" And he said, "If that's what you want me to be," or something like that. He seemed sort of passive aggressive about it.

LAURA: Is that what he said?

SAM: Ish?

MATT: Ish.

ASHLEY: Well, maybe we need to get to the bottom of what his goal is with you.

SAM: He was kind of a douche about it, actually. Yeah?

ASHLEY: Maybe we need to figure out what he wants with you.

SAM: Yeah, I know!

LAURA: And figure out why he's undead, why he's living.

SAM: But also, we're in Yios, where we have been told, I have been told, that there's lots of answers about lots of things. Your mother, probably more important than this. All sorts of us have answers here.

LAURA: It's just my mother, you've got a bird that poops on you sometimes. (laughter)

ASHLEY: That's intense.

SAM: What I'm saying is, if there's time while we're here, I would love to find out more about myself, if we can.

LAURA: Yes.

SAM: Because they have folks here. Didn't Imahara Joe say they have folks here that could maybe pop me open and fish around and stuff?

LAURA: People that have knowledge of ancient tech.

SAM: Maybe they'll pop me open and find an egg in there. That bird wants his baby back or something. I don't know.

TRAVIS: ♪ I want my baby back, baby back, baby back ♪

MARISHA: Maybe he also has voices in his head--

LIAM: I wonder what that is.

MARISHA: -- controlling him--

LAURA: Technology.

MARISHA: -- like the way I have, or had, Delilah in mine. (gasps) Maybe Delilah is in him now!

SAM: Oh my gods.

MARISHA: It's just a theory. It's just one--

SAM: Delilah doesn't talk to you anymore?

MARISHA: She hasn't yet.

SAM: That's good.

MARISHA: Yes.

SAM: Is it lonely in there?

MARISHA: No, I have all of you.

SAM: That's nice.

MARISHA: And Pâté.

MATT: (Pâté) "Yeah!"

TRAVIS: Oh god. Well, let's keep going.

MARISHA: Yes.

SAM: I'm sorry, everyone.

TRAVIS: It's okay, I think I figured it out. I have plans.

SAM: For what?

LAURA: Do you have some thoughts?

TRAVIS: I have thoughts.

SAM: About what? About my bird?

TRAVIS: I'm going to devise something to ward off this bird.

SAM: Oh.

TRAVIS: Yeah, don't you worry.

SAM: All right. Some sort of a trap?

TRAVIS: (laughs)

SAM: All right, well, we're at--

LIAM: We're at the seminary.

SAM: Aydinlan Seminary, right?

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

SAM: How do we get in? We have papers?

LIAM: Well, I have a letter of introduction from Roe Estani from the Heartmoor Hamlet. We're supposed to find Ebenold Kai here.

SAM: These are all amazing names.

LAURA: And possibly Professor Kadija Sumal as well.

LIAM: Yes.

LAURA: If they're here.

LIAM: Sorry, just because it's been a second, we're on the steps? Can you describe--

MATT: You are.

LIAM: -- what we're on the steps of again?

MATT: There is this large set of blanched marble steps that lead up to the main, multi-doored entryway to the central hall of the Seminary. They slowly pinch towards the top, and that's where they have these massive, dark wood doors, brass and gold inlay and edges. You can see there are sentries outside, keeping guard. As you guys are standing out here, even during the fray, there were a few students hat were keeping a distance and just slowly walking around you as they continued onto the rest of their day amongst the grounds of the Seminary. But yeah, it's maybe another 20, 25 feet or so to ascend to the main entryway.

LIAM: All right. Well, let's stop procrastinating and get to it. Orym will start up.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I'll follow.

ASHLEY: I'll follow, too.

MATT: All righty. So the six of you ascend to the top, where you can see the sentries acknowledge your arrival, but aren't particularly taken aback by it. You get the sense most of the student body here seems to be from, at least the people you've walked by and encountered, from all over Exandria, though there is still a majority orc populace here within the city, orc or half-orc or uniya. But you see many different ages, mostly in the young, late teens to mid 20s, but then there are some older students as well that maybe had come in here for their own supplementary studies later in life. In the about two dozen or so that you've come across around here, it definitely has a multicultural, gathered sense to the student body. Entering through the front doorway, you can see inside already there's the tall ceiling of the continued white marble aesthetic. You can see there's strange, embossed symbols and mathematical schematics or map details without label. You're uncertain if they're just decor or if they have a particular utility or not. But as you walk inside, it is bright and comparably colorless as it might seem, the details within these various designs are beautiful and give a unique sense to the interior. There are some floor-set, dark iron braziers that slowly crackle and burn with flame, but there is no heat in the proximity of them. The metallic braziers that carry them are sculpted in these whirlwind-like swirls, but they're perfectly sculptured to be balanced until they eventually come up into multiple curves, like a flame tornado of darkness that gives birth to its own crackling, embered flame within. There's about seven of them scattered around the interior here. Amongst the little bits of whispers of conversation, just that occasional (flames crackling) that crackle of fire sound echoing throughout the hall. You can see there are three different hallways that spread past the central clerk desks that you see here. There is, right across from where you are, this arched doorway that comes to a point, and beyond that, you can see a very long hall where you can barely see the shadow of figures walking through that space. But here in the center, you do see these two rectangular desks that command the entryway hall, each manned by a clerk. The first one you see here who's not currently engaged appears to be a young human woman in her 40s or so, pale with a short, blonde bob cut, almost, and a pin that looks like a green-blue leaf, which is the same symbol that you've seen variations of around the Seminary as a crest of its aesthetic. But immediately, she perks up and glances over at the rest of you. "Hello, welcome. Can I help you?"

LIAM: Yeah, excuse me. We're looking for Ebenold Kai.

MATT: "What is your business with Ebenold?"

LIAM: We're friends of a friend.

MATT: "Ah. Unfortunately, he's canceled his classes a couple of months ago and hasn't been seen in the Seminary for some time. I believe he's either been on holiday or he's restructuring his curriculum, I believe is the going assumption. I do know that the headmaster is rather unhappy with his recent disrespect for the seminary's calendar, and likely threatening replacement if he doesn't show up soon."

LAURA: So y'all haven't heard from him at all?

MATT: "No. He's likely holed up in his home or off on some excursion."

LAURA: Do you know where he lives?

MATT: "He does live, if I recall, in the Vigil Quarter of the Dominion Ring. Not sure where specifically."

LIAM: Vigil Quarter.

MATT: "There's always knocking door-to-door.

LAURA: He's knock-- Oh, right. What's your name again, ma'am?

MATT: "Oh, Carolle."

LAURA: Carolle.

LIAM: Do we maybe want to ask about our professor?

LAURA: Sure. Is Professor Kadija Sumal still working here?

MATT: "Oh yes. Professor Sumal is not scheduled for lectures at the moment, has been more focused on research. I believe they are supposed to be back tomorrow for a meeting around noon, so you could always try back right before then and see if you could catch them."

LAURA: Wonderful, thank you.

MATT: "Of course, of course. Are you looking to enroll?"

LAURA: Currently, no.

MATT: "Ah. Understood."

ASHLEY: Do you need a new professor to fill Ebenold's position?

MATT: "If you have credentials you'd like to submit, I can certainly take them to the headmaster."

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: "There is an opportunity."

ASHLEY: What are all the full credentials that you need? Because I just want to make sure.

MATT: "Well, it'd be more of an assessment of what your background is, your years of teaching, tutelage, your specifics of training and study."

ASHLEY: Oh yes, yes, yes.

MATT: "Examples of published research papers, preferably."

ASHLEY: Got it, got it, got it.

MATT: "We are quite an established school of learning here, so we want to make sure that you have a certain level of respect within the community."

ASHLEY: Yes, yes.

MATT: "We pride ourselves on the quality of our instructors. So yes, anything that you feel would be best representative of your studies, interests, and capabilities."

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: "What's your specialty, if I might ask?"

TRAVIS: Mm-hm. Mm-hm.

ASHLEY: Boy, you name it. I'm kind of just a Jack of all trades, kind of whatever you need, just fit right in. Mostly lots of stuff with fire.

SAM: (laughs)

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: "Right. Okay."

ASHLEY: But there's lots of things I can do. I learn really quickly, but also, I'm very... I've written some things. I've written some papers and pamphlets, and I'll make sure to just put together a whole thing for you later.

MATT: "Yes, please do. I would love to see it."

ASHLEY: Okay.

TRAVIS: You've written some things?

LIAM: So I'm sorry, what time did you say Professor Sumal was scheduled to be?

LAURA: Noon.

LIAM: Noon?

LAURA: Noon tomorrow.

MATT: "Noon tomorrow."

LIAM: Okay.

SAM: Do we even know those guys, what's their specialty?

LAURA: Professor Sumal was doing research on Ruidus.

MATT: You're the first to pick up on this, Orym. The conversations, the whispers in the halls, the general gentle, lively energy of the halls here seems to fade. An odd stillness and what can only be described as a presence creeps into the back of your shoulders. You feel your body tense, and everyone stops and steps aside as you hear these soft but deliberate footfalls. (soft, slow steps) Stepping from the far left hall, you see a hulking figure step into the main area here in the seminary entryway. You see this being, vaguely human, somewhat messy, red hair and pale skin. They're wearing elaborate, loose, sleeveless vestments that drape around them like long robes with strips of gold embossed material, sleeveless, revealing these massive, hammer-like, muscular arms that are covered in intricate tattoos and adorned in platinum bracers that have all manner of glyphs carved across them that devour about half of the forearm.

TRAVIS: Awesome.

MARISHA: Yeah, sick.

MATT: Their face is covered in a bronze mask, a dark bronze that lacks eyes or features. Instead, you see a patterned array of fine script and symbols across it. It just steps into the room. As it does, both the clerks just get quiet and stand there, not making eye contact in that direction.

LIAM: What's everyone's demeanor in the room? Is it just composed respect, or?

TRAVIS: Or fear?

MARISHA: Fear, like pol--

MATT: Polite apprehension is the best way I could describe it. If you want to make an insight check, I could give you some more specifics, perhaps.

SAM: I'm going to do a Detect Thoughts on Carolle.

LAURA: I was just going to fucking talk to her, but yeah, we could do it. You go.

MATT: Okay. So you Detect Thoughts.

LIAM: 12.

MATT: 12. That's about what you get, is respectful apprehension. Your surface thoughts that you begin to glean from Carolle is, "I wish these things would leave. Every time they come by, it just makes me nervous. I don't like it. I don't like it at all."

LAURA: In her head, she hears: Who is that?

MATT: "(gasps)"

LAURA: (clicks)

MATT: She's glancing around, confused.

LAURA: Carolle, over here. Right here. That's right. Who is that in the mask?

MATT: "I-I don't rightly know that. They're here along with a representative from Vasselheim." Anybody here have proficiency in history or religion?

LIAM: Yes, I do.

TRAVIS: Yeah, baby.

MATT: Go ahead and roll for me, if you don't mind.

MARISHA: Do I have proficiency--

TRAVIS: I don't.

ASHLEY: For some reason, doing history and she's probably the best.

LIAM: Rolled a two, dang it. No, nothing.

MARISHA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: (as game announcer) Vasselheim enters the game.

ASHLEY: Rolled a natural 20.

SAM: Whoa! (laughter)

MATT: On--

ASHLEY: That means I'm proficient, right? When that's there?

LAURA: Yeah!

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah.

MATT: History or religion?

ASHLEY: History. (laughs)

MATT: History. Okay.

ASHLEY: So, 22, total.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: 22. You, in your time, being, an indoor latchkey kid with Morri, for a long time, you like to read the weird shit. You like to read the odd bits of history, and the things that are either rumor or just you know, a little more common off the beaten path.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: As soon as this entity steps out, you recognize the patterns on the mask and the descriptor. This is a Judicator.

TRAVIS: Ooh.

ASHLEY: A-a-a what?

LAURA and SAM: A Judicator.

LIAM: A judicator.

MATT: You know Judicators to--

SAM: Oh, wait. Not an adjudicator? A Judicator?

MATT, LIAM, and LAURA: A Judicator.

MATT: They're considered the traditional guardians and hunters for the high temples of Vasselheim.

LAURA: Hunters?

LIAM: Oh.

MATT: Originating with the early wars of the Calamity, a rigorous and transformative series of challenging rituals and secret divine blessings, forever bind and change the most pious of warriors into exalted soldiers and bloodhounds for the gods. Since you rolled a natural 20, and what's the total on that then?

ASHLEY: 22.

MATT: 22. Okay. It is rumored that they volunteer themselves, giving everything to the cause, their individuality, their lives, to become a weapon for the Prime Deities. Outside of times of war, Judicators primarily act as bodyguards to the high clerics, protectors of the most holy of relics, and sometimes wardens in the deepest of Vasselheim's prisons. But they're rarely seen in public. And those who know about them, often consider them to be boogeymen that are highly exaggerated to bolster the prominence of the temples, or the practice of their creation has fallen into ancient history, and they don't actually exist anymore. They're just spoken of as whispers. But seeing one in public, and this far from Vasselheim, means they're also likely not alone, that something extremely important to the higher temples that has brought them here.

MARISHA: Looking for the stolen texts.

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

LIAM: Yeah.

LAURA: 100%. How long have they been here?

MATT: "On the better part of a week. Do you know about... Are they here for you?"

LAURA: Oh, I've never seen them before in my life. Everyone seems so on edge.

MATT: She's kind of like, quiets her thoughts and keeps that image. Everyone in the room's kind of tense and it just stands there. Once again, eye-less, this solid, metallic, scroll-covered mask. Just scanning over the room a bit.

TRAVIS: Hey!

LAURA: (gasps)

SAM: Oh boy.

TRAVIS: I walk over. (footsteps)

MATT: And it does. For a human, as you approach, and you guess, human, the features look human-like, you know, the wild red hair. Extremely, this is like the nightmare version of Carrot Top. (laughter)

MATT: Like, it is just--

SAM: So, Carrot Top?

MATT: So, Carrot Top, yeah.

TRAVIS: Jacked arm.

LIAM: Oh yeah.

MATT: But stands about seven feet tall.

TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: Ooh.

MARISHA: Seven feet tall.

LAURA: Those feet. Are they wearing platforms?

MATT: You don't see the feet beneath the robes and vestments. They hit the ground, and then trail beyond its full height.

MARISHA: They're on one wheel.

SAM: (laughs) Oh no! They're that guy!

MATT: Float life. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Looking for something?

SAM: Got a GoPro.

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs)

MATT: Its head just glances down at you. No response.

SAM: Nothing?

TRAVIS: Nice to meet you. (footsteps)

MATT: It follows its gaze, or where its gaze would be, it follows you as you approach the rest. You can see it making a very slow, deliberate--

SAM: Oh no.

MATT: -- scan of your six.

LAURA: Thanks for that, Chet.

TRAVIS: As I was close, the platinum bracers and the symbols, anything that, of particular emphasis, or note, or a symbol--

MATT: Make an arcana check for me.

TRAVIS: Yeah. 17.

MATT: 17. Not bad. From what you can see, while you don't have time to deeply give a detailed analysis of it. There are a lot of abjuration-based inscriptions. Some of it appears to be text, not actual enchantments. Some of it looks like it's religious phrases in a language that you don't understand, that are written in a presentational, decorative way. But then those are woven around actual enchanted glyphs. It is, from what you can see, all across the arms then up the sides of the neck a little bit, and then the vestments take over from there and fold over these massive layer over layer of long vest, long robes hitting the ground and dragging behind as it walks.

TRAVIS: It says on the forearms--

LIAM: This figure is swole, right?

TRAVIS: -- "If you can read this, you're too close."

MATT: Extremely, yeah.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: (laughs) Objects in bracer are closer than they appear.

LIAM: Just a minor question, but since we've been watching this figure for a while, can I tell, using Know your Enemy, if they have any levels of fighter to them? It would be in comparison to mine, so--

MATT: Right. You don't gather any sort of fighter--

LIAM: No martial vibe to them?

MATT: I mean, there's a martial vibe certainly, but nothing that says standard soldier.

LIAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Just to cover our bases with all the vestments, and flowy robes, and jiggedy-jacked arms, any sorts of weapons at the hips, or on the back, or anything like that, that we can see, or doing the... (shuffles)

MATT: No weapons, but you do see, where the bracers lie, and then to the back of the hand, where the bracers extend a bit, there is a metallic arm guard, and there is a band that wraps around the hand, and where the knuckles sit, is a heavy extension of that platinum band.

SAM: Cool.

TRAVIS: Cool.

LIAM: You said featureless mask, but there's eye holes, or there's a person walking around?

MATT: There's no eye holes.

LIAM: No eye holes, cool. Super cool.

MATT: It is just a solid iron mask with no features--

MARISHA: Dope monk shit.

MATT: -- with just all these scrolling designs.

SAM: They're like monks?

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: Just born and carved into it.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Inner energy.

SAM: Cool.

LIAM: Cool.

MATT: It's about this moment that it finishes its scan of the room, and then exits out the main entryway, and begins to descend the stairs outside. As it does, you glance past and watch as it exits... The guards, the actual sentries of the city, move to the side, as it moves past.

SAM: Oh god.

MATT: You can see other students, who also notice it approaching, begin to scatter. Everyone's just avoiding this thing, as it hulks down the stairs.

TRAVIS: Never seen a Judicator before.

MATT: Slowly, the air comes back into the room, and the students begin walking about their business again. Someone was like, "Did you see that?" "I--" "What the hell is that thing?" People go off to their own business.

TRAVIS: He ghosted a fart as he left.

SAM: Does anyone know what that was?

ASHLEY: I-I actually do.

SAM: Oh good.

MATT and LAURA: (laugh)

ASHLEY: I actually do, but do you want to discuss it here?

SAM: Sure.

ASHLEY: Well, I've read about these things before, and I didn't know that they were real, but they're basically guardians, or hunters for high council, and they volunteer to become weapons for the gods.

SAM: Wow.

LIAM: What are they called?

SAM: Who are they guarding?

ASHLEY: They're called Judicators. (laughter)

SAM: Carolle?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

SAM: C-Carral?

MATT: "Y-Yes. Hello."

SAM: Sorry. Yes. Do they guard someone who... Are they with someone? Are they protecting someone? Like a muckety-muck?

MATT: "I don't know. There's at least one other I've seen around here. They've traveled as a pair before. They've gone on independently."

LAURA: They have the metal mask?

MATT: "Yes. Other one looked, half-giant. They're here with some other emissary from Vasselheim. I suppose they're--"

SAM: But you don't know who the emissary is visiting with? Or wanting to see or?

MATT: "I-I don't, nobody seems to question. We've been given instruction to let them wander as they see fit."

LAURA: Wow.

SAM: Instruction by whom?

MATT: "By the headmaster of the college."

SAM: Oh.

MATT: "We don't want to get involved in any sort of--"

SAM: Oh, sure.

MATT: -- "messy theological business here, we're a school, and if indeed one of these things is walking through here with purpose, I-I don't even want to attempt to step in its way."

LIAM: They don't talk to anyone?

MATT: (whispers) "I don't think they talk."

TRAVIS: (laughs) Should one of us tail it?

ASHLEY: You said-- Oh, yeah. You said they've been here for about a week. Wait, how long did you say?

LAURA: Oh.

ASHLEY: No. How long have they been here?

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: I just told her--

ASHLEY: Scratch that.

SAM: Hey, we share all our information.

LAURA: I spread out the information.

MATT: All right, fair enough. Fair enough.

ASHLEY: That was inside. How long have they been here?

MATT: "About a week."

SAM: Oh. Fascinating.

LAURA: (laughs)

SAM: Well, shoot.

LAURA: Are they looking for anyone in particular? Have they asked for anyone?

MATT: "I-I don't know."

SAM: Did he talk?

LAURA: She said no?

SAM: Oh.

MARISHA and LIAM: (laugh)

MATT: "I just keep my head down and do my work."

TRAVIS: We're in trouble.

LAURA: Sorry, we're asking so many questions here. They're just so different than anything we've seen before.

SAM: Also, this is the information desk, so, you know.

LAURA: That's true.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: Make a deception check.

LAURA: They are just, really interesting.

MATT: Uh-huh.

LAURA: Oh, that's a 27.

SAM: Ooh.

MATT: 27. You see, the more you begin asking questions, you see her eyes starting to wonder what you're actually on about, and then, as you begin to pass this off as actual curiosity, she relaxes a little bit, and "(clears throat) Well, I have to go back to my business. I'll, once again, return tomorrow if you'd like."

LAURA: Of course.

LIAM: Right. Professor Sumal, here by noon, and we are paying a visit outside of the school grounds, thank you.

MARISHA: You don't have any, you know, address or whatever for Ebenold Kai? You've got to have that in some sort of registry, right?

MATT: 'With all due respect, "if indeed you are friends here to see Ebenold, this is information that you probably would be privy to. I'm not of the mind of giving out the home addresses of various professors to strangers who walk-in request--"

MARISHA: No, you know what, we are.

TRAVIS: That was a test!

MARISHA: -- and I was testing you. Yes. Yep.

TRAVIS: Got 'em. You passed.

MARISHA: Nice. Very good security.

TRAVIS: Good job, we'll make sure, the board directors hears of your professionalism.

MARISHA: Nailed it.

TRAVIS: Tenure will be yours.

MARISHA: Yep.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: "Right."

SAM: One more question just real quick, just in case we do want to enroll, is there a program here, or a department, or a professor, who's particularly into mechanical doodads and what's-its, and engineering sorts of things, building?

MATT: "Yes. T-T-There is, yeah. There is a program, specifically based around the development and advancement of automations, and--"

SAM: There is?

MATT: "Yes."

SAM: Who runs it or where... Which building is it, or?

MATT: "With all due respect..."

MARISHA: Again with the doing of the respect.

MATT: "I don't know who you are and... If indeed you are friends with members of our esteemed group of professors here, they might be of more aid than I would be. For the purposes of my position and maintaining it, I do not believe I can relinquish any more information."

SAM: Sure, sure, sure.

MATT: "I've got a ton of programs here. My apologies."

SAM: I understand. We're not friends, but we could be, and I'll cast Fast Friends on them.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Oh yes, let's go. Getting dirty with it.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: 14, wisdom.

MATT: 14, wisdom?

SAM: Come on, we need this bad--

MATT: (laughs) That's a four.

SAM: Yes!

TRAVIS: (laughs)

SAM: We could be friends, and you could help us.

MATT: "Oh, how can I say no to that face?" (laughter)

MATT: "It's not often you have someone of such metallic aesthetic talking to you. Though, you may want to clean up a bit."

LAURA: Oh, I already, I Prestidigitate.

SAM: We got most of it, but is there a little?

MATT: "There's a little bit right there."

LAURA: I'll just use that.

SAM: Thank you.

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: (squeaking) I don't want to touch it. I'm using the most finite of telekinetic energy, to take off every little, like--

SAM: Just floats off.

TRAVIS: I'll get it.

LAURA: -- up into the air.

SAM: Oh god.

MATT: Ugh.

MARISHA: What's it taste like?

MATT: "You want to speak with Professor Vitro Isham."

SAM: Vitro Ishan?

MATT: "Isham."

SAM: Isham.

MARISHA: Vitro.

LIAM: Is the engineering specialist, mechanical specialist?

MATT: "Yes, is the head of all of the automaton studies, development, and as well as one of the sub-professors for the binding of various enchantments into stationary non-magical objects and artificing--"

SAM: They could be found in their office here or elsewhere?

MATT: "Whenever they're not in the middle of class, they can probably be spoken to within their office, yes."

SAM: Which is where?

MATT: "(groans) Not supposed to tell you this..."

SAM: No, I know, but it's nice to be naughty sometimes.

MATT: "Leftwood Hall here, about 150 feet down there, there is a spiral staircase that leads to a secondary floor on the left. Take that spiral staircase to the second floor. There will be a stone walkway that traverses outside of the hall to a secondary building. This is called the Brass Structure. There you will see within, there are numerous discussion halls. There are numerous presentational rooms, and offices of the professors there. There is a small garage there, on the base floor of that building. Within there, if you ask around, someone will be able to lead you to the professor's room."

SAM: Wasn't Carolle so great at giving directions? I've never heard such great directions like that.

MARISHA: It's so detailed.

SAM: I could hear you give directions all day. In fact, maybe you should give us directions to the other guys, house, right?

ASHLEY: Ebenold Kai.

SAM: Ebenold Kai's house, too.

LIAM: Maybe if you explained how you really were in need of finding Ebenold.

SAM: Of course, we need to find Ebenold for definitely, he has a recipe that I need for cooking.

MATT: (laughs) Checking one thing real fast.

TRAVIS: How far does Fast Friends go?

SAM: I only ask one thing, is that what it is? You can set the creature to new tasks when a previous task has been completed.

MARISHA: (laughs)

SAM: For an hour. (laughs)

MARISHA: Oh my god.

MATT: "I-I could just show you." (laughter)

SAM: I mean--

ASHLEY: I think that's the way to go.

MATT: "I'm due for a lunch break and I'm just feeling very helpful."

SAM: Would Landon be upset if we had a second guy?

LAURA: He can come with us. Yeah, he can come.

TRAVIS: Probably, but once it wears off, that might be a problem.

SAM: Well, but yeah. But we could then, you know?

MARISHA: And do it again?

SAM: Your call.

LAURA: How are we--

SAM: (robot whirring)

TRAVIS: No, no, no, no. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Bind the wheel.

LAURA: No, what do you do once they realize--

SAM: Oh, they realize.

LAURA: Well, then, what do you?

SAM: I don't know.

LIAM: We should take a walk, right? Let's take a walk.

SAM: Take a walk and-- I don't know what we do after that!

ASHLEY: Do you work tomorrow?

MATT: "I am working for the rest of the week, yes."

ASHLEY: Oh.

TRAVIS: Yep. An address would be great.

LAURA: Okay, sure. We'll figure it out.

SAM: We're going to have to, sorry.

MATT: "Should I put in for my lunch break?"

SAM: Yes, let's go take a walkabout.

MATT: "Wonderful, wonderful."

SAM: A roll about.

MATT: "Let me just get my jacket." She wanders off and goes to the other clerk and goes, "Susie, if you can have Abanon cover for me. I'm taking my lunch break with these fine friends."

LAURA: Uh-oh.

MATT: Whistles a little bit. Wanders off.

LIAM: This is going to come back around and bite us in the dick.

MATT: The other clerk is like--

LAURA: 100%.

MATT: "All right." (laughter)

TRAVIS: Is that Abanon or Susie?

MATT: Yeah. Oh, no.

MARISHA: Susie's like, (deeply) "All right."

MATT: Yeah. Actually, it would be Susie, yeah.

LIAM: (deeply) Yeah.

MATT: That's Susie. (laughter)

SAM: Lead the way!

MATT: Eventually, she comes back with this nice little jacket on. It's a dark blue with turquoise, embroidery along the sleeves. Just a nice little blazer, if you will, that she puts over her robes when she works as the clerk. "Very well, follow me."

ASHLEY: What a beautiful blazer.

MATT: "Thank you so much."

SAM: (laughs)

MATT: She goes ahead and walks down the steps and begins to guide you through the more prominent elements here of the ring. And now, we are still in the Dominion Ring.

SAM: Do we have to kill this girl?

MARISHA: We just got to get as much information out of her as possible before she hates us.

LAURA: Maybe we can--

SAM: She might ban us from the place, though.

TRAVIS: Yep.

LAURA: Or--

SAM: Unless we, you know?

MARISHA: How deep do you think the lake is?

LAURA: No.

MARISHA: What?

LAURA: We're not going to murder a random clerk.

SAM: We might have to.

LAURA: No, we're not.

TRAVIS: We're three and three. We're split on the subject. We'll see.

MARISHA: (laughs)

SAM: If only Ashton were here.

LIAM: This is happening as we walk down the street?

MATT: She whistles and reaches into her little bag and goes, "Oh, I have to take my vitamins." (laughter)

SAM: She's ill! (laughter)

MARISHA: That doesn't mean she's ill! She could just be--

SAM: She's just health conscious.

TRAVIS: Supplements! She's taking supplements!

SAM: You're right, you're right, you're right. You're right, you're right.

TRAVIS: Antioxidants.

SAM: But she could be iron deficient.

MARISHA: Or that could be, yeah. A little bit anemic.

ASHLEY: That's okay, we all have--

LAURA: The trick is, we have to really, really actually befriend her. That way when it wears out, she still likes you so much.

MARISHA: Oh, let's ask her what her favorite baked goods are and her favorite color, her favorite flowers.

TRAVIS: That sounds exhausting. So we can like-- Carolle!

MATT: "Mm-hm? Yes?"

MARISHA: Tell us a little bit about yourself. What are some of your favorite things in life?

MATT: "Well, I've been keeping a small flower box garden on the outside of my abode."

ASHLEY: (gasps)

MARISHA: You love flowers. Fearne loves flowers.

ASHLEY: Oh my goodness. I love flowers so much.

MATT: "Oh, wondrous, wondrous."

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: "I had to send away for a special kind of blend of Issylran tulips and these north Tal'Doreian flowers that only grow just beyond-- Oh, what's the range called? The Stormcrest there."

ASHLEY: Ooh.

LAURA: Wow.

MATT: "Stormcrest lilies. They're quite delightful. They're light pl-- purple. Plurple." (laughter)

MARISHA: Oh, they're plurple.

MATT: "The plurple color that they get is quite--"

ASHLEY: The plurple ones so hard to find.

TRAVIS: Take another one of your pills! (laughter)

ASHLEY: Plurple, that's right.

SAM: Purine tablets.

MARISHA: How long have you been working at the seminary?

MATT: "About five or six years or so. It's not terribly challenging work, but it has nice benefits. You get to meet some interesting individuals and occasionally get to have an outing with a new friend."

LAURA: Aw.

SAM: That's us!

ASHLEY: Do you like working there?

MATT: "I do, actually."

ASHLEY: Yeah?

MATT: "I do, I do. More than anything, just seeing the new students come every year and watching them progress and get involved in their own particular dramas and the whispers that come through. It's enough to keep you interested for some time."

ASHLEY: I bet.

MARISHA: I bet you're everyone's favorite. Do the students just love you?

MATT: "Not really, no."

MARISHA: Oh! (laughter)

MATT: "They just go in and do their work."

MARISHA: Oh!

MATT: "I say hello. Some are nice, some are blasé, some are busy, some are a bit pickety, but you know, Weren't we all to a certain degree at that age?

ASHLEY: Sure.

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

ASHLEY: Do you have plans to expand, you know, move a little further there or are you loving where you're at?

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TRAVIS: Are we actually trying to befriend this person?

SAM: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yes.

SAM: It's like those romcoms where the--

TRAVIS: They know we cast a spell on them when it's up!

SAM: Yeah, but then when they find out--

ASHLEY: 16.

SAM: -- they realize that they fell in love during the movie.

LAURA: Yeah, it's like "Overboard." You know?

SAM: Yeah!

LAURA: Goldie Hawn eventually gets her memory back, but she likes him so much that she stays.

SAM: Exactly! Or "Love Potion No. 9."

ASHLEY: Yeah!

LAURA: Exactly. It's all of that stuff.

ASHLEY: Yes! Yes, yes, yes.

LIAM: Or all those movies that don't fly today.

ASHLEY: Yeah. Yeah.

MATT: Yep. Yep.

SAM: I'm pretty sure "Overboard" holds up.

MATT: Mm... (laughter)

ASHLEY: It's been a minute.

SAM: Woof.

LAURA: Oh god.

SAM: It's the worst.

LAURA: I did not even think about how terrible that would be.

MATT: "Well, both."

MARISHA: Oh my god.

MATT: "I've been scrimping and saving as time has gone on, but I've also been turning around some small knick-knacks as I've been finding them. Cleaning them up and selling them on the side back to some of the various shops around here, making a little bit of extra scratch. I think once I have enough saved up I might just get a little boat and maybe meet a nice little fisherman and we'll just live a comfortable life not quite in the city, but maybe beyond one of the-- Maybe the Eastward Bridge. The Eastward Bridge I think would be a nice little space to just retire out there and become, I don't know. What are those couples that lives off the land?"

ASHLEY: Oh, I just love that idea.

LIAM: What kind of knick-knacks do you mean?

LAURA: I know, have you ever taken any from the school?

SAM: Wow. Bo Peep.

MARISHA: Bo Peep. Just like Goldie.

MATT: "No."

LAURA: (gasps) You have!

MATT: "Well, nobody was-- Nobody was making any use of it and nobody missed it. I figured was bringing it to a proper home where it could be appreciated."

LIAM: Oh, spill it, girl. Spill it. What was it?

MATT: "Well, I don't want to implicate myself."

LAURA: Oh, we're friends.

SAM: Yeah, we're friends. You can tell me. Yeah.

MATT: "Well, we're friends. Your companions are nice."

SAM: Go on. Who'd you nick it from?

ASHLEY: (laughs)

MATT: "I won't say who I nicked it from, but there was this really nice bronze-lined statue with emerald dyes that was used as a paper weight for quite some time by Professor Dinon. When he asked for his room to be cleaned I just set it aside for a few months to see if it would be asked about, in which case I would return it. But after about eight months of nobody noticing it gone, I cleaned it up a bit and made a nice little chunk of change."

SAM: Wow!

ASHLEY: Wow!

MATT: "Here we are at the Vigil Quarter, which is where he supposedly lives." Pulls a piece of paper and looks at it for a bit.

MARISHA: What was the name of the professor?

SAM: Ebenold Kai? Oh, oh, Professor Dinon. Dinon.

LAURA: Yeah, Professor Dinon.

MARISHA: Dinon. Okay.

TRAVIS: D-D-Dinon.

LAURA: D-D-Dinon.

MATT: What you do see here is a dual-tiered neighborhood. There is a large metallic gate with swirling bits of metal bars that bind and swirl around it. They give it a cool visual aesthetic, but also prevent people from pushing through unless they're really tiny. You can see there's pikes across the top and the main entry way is open, the gates are open, and there are two sentries on the outside with their familiar mantle and long blue silver robes. You can see the two tiers there. There is a lower neighborhood and then a higher neighborhood up further on the hill. There are a few switchback staircases that lead from top to bottom. She goes, "Ah, I do believe he's on the lower neighborhood here. Follow me," and continues to walk you within. The sentries glance over and just take note of you all as you enter the neighborhood. Here within, you can see it's a mingling mix of quaint homes and occasionally a larger estate that sticks out a bit, but that adds a varied skyline to this quarter of the city against the surrounding, a towering library and across the way that Rose Marble Amphitheater. But eventually, following her through these different buildings, these winding roads that seem to be made more to create a winding, whimsical feel as you pass through the neighborhood as opposed to just an easy to follow lattice work of streets and street corners. You do come to this medium size, two-story cottage of black and gray marbled wood that seems to have been gathered from the jungle not far from where you are. You recognize elements of the wood patterns and the staining in it. Towards the base, this variation and texture of that smooth black exterior secondary bark that you can see has risen up in places and has been shaved down to almost smooth into the rest of its look. You see the area and the house itself, it's framed in well-groomed ivy. Seems like it's well-kept. It looks like it's a somewhat affluent looking building, but nowhere near on the scale of some of the larger estates that you've passed by as you get here. The extravagance is definitely downplayed amongst the other homesteads. Definitely nowhere near as nice as the Lucent Spire of Jrusar. But, you know, as you get closer to it, the small perimeter gate, it also is proportionally probably for one of the smaller folk, probably more comfortable for you, the size of the building for being two-story, it's not super tiny, but even the main-- The front door probably comes up to about the nose of Fearne.

ASHLEY: (laughs) (laughter)

TRAVIS: That's your name.

MATT: "Well, this--" (laughter)

ASHLEY: I was just thinking how funny it was. (laughter)

MATT: "This is the address--

SAM: Like, what is that show?

MATT: "-- for the professor."

SAM: "Home Improvement." But reverse.

MATT: "So I hope this has been helpful.

LAURA: It's been wonderful. Thank you, Carolle.

MATT: "I should probably get back to my--"

LAURA: Yes, of course.

MATT: "It's almost the end of my hour-long break, so--

LAURA: It's the end of an hour, so I just want you to remember, Carolle, that we've exchanged so many words with each other today.

MATT: "Very well."

LAURA: Please remember them.

MARISHA: Yes.

SAM: Are you going to head back?

TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.

MATT: "Well yes. I have no business with the professor, and I do have to return to my..."

LIAM: You also said this is your lunch break, so I mean, the least we could do is buy you lunch. Here. I pull out a little kerchief with a couple of coins in it and say: Here's some silver, lunch is on us. I hand her five platinum--

SAM: Ooh!

LIAM: -- wrapped in a kerchief.

MATT: (laughs) Okay. "Oh, thank you. I really appreciate it."

LIAM: No, it's sealed up.

MATT: Okay, rolled up and tied?

LIAM: Mm-hmm.

MATT: "All right. Well, I will go quickly, find myself, I don't know, a roadside hoagie or something."

ASHLEY: And here is a plurple poppy. (laughter)

MARISHA: They were lilies. She wanted lilies. Plurple lilies.

ASHLEY: I don't have the lilies.

MARISHA: Oh, fuck.

ASHLEY: With the poppies--

TRAVIS: And Issylran tulips.

ASHLEY: These--

LIAM: They're called ploppies.

ASHLEY: These reseed themselves.

MATT: "Hmm."

ASHLEY: So dry it out, keep the little seeds inside. I think you'll really enjoy them.

MATT: "Oh, wonderful. Thank you so much. That's very pretty."

ASHLEY: They sing a little bit sometimes.

MATT: "Really?"

SAM: (laughs)

MARISHA: That was when you ate the tree fungus.

ASHLEY: Oh.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

SAM: Thank you so much. You've been a delight.

MATT: "As have you. Don't get to meet and hang out with the new folks very often. Anyway, back to work I go."

SAM: All right.

MATT: "Good luck with the professor!"

MARISHA: Bye, good friend!

SAM, ASHLEY, and LAURA: Bye!

ASHLEY: So fun.

MATT: Just wanders off to the rest of her day.

TRAVIS: All right, I'll follow her and (cracking) See you in a second. (claws unsheathing) (laughter)

SAM: I mean, we could.

LAURA: No, she's been bribed. She told us some secrets. She'll remember that--

SAM: We have blackmail on her.

LIAM: Got blackmail and extortion.

LAURA: She'll remember that she said it.

LIAM: One or the other.

LAURA: So, that's fine.

TRAVIS: Boy.

MARISHA: I like her.

TRAVIS: Boy.

ASHLEY: I do, too. She was great.

MARISHA: Yes.

SAM: She was great.

TRAVIS: But if that spell wears off and she starts coming back this way, we should probably get in and get out.

SAM: Oh yeah.

LAURA: She won't.

TRAVIS: Tout de suite.

MARISHA: Does it look like there's anyone home? Any activity?

MATT: Make a perception check.

MARISHA: Hmm.

SAM: Hmm.

ALL: Hmm.

MARISHA: 15.

MATT: Hey.

MARISHA: Hit a 15.

SAM: Natural fif--

MARISHA: Natural 10.

SAM: 10.

MARISHA: Right in the middle.

MATT: Natural 10. Perfectly average. (laughter)

MATT: Glancing forward, you can see the windows, the curtains are drawn. There isn't much of any immediate visual sign of a bustling interior, necessarily.

MARISHA: No pile of newspapers that look like they haven't been collected or anything like that?

MATT: No. Not with a 10, you don't see anything.

LIAM: You said we walked past the equivalent of city guard a moment ago, right?

MATT: Yeah, and you do see the occasional patrol, like one or two of the sentries walking through. Orym, you do have a really high perception.

LIAM: (radar sounds)

MATT: Beyond the small gate, and the gate here is less to keep people out. Meaning anyone with sizable athleticism could vault the exterior gate. But it's...

LAURA: (tumbling)

MATT: Yeah, well-- Said-- Not everybody. But most of the bushes and elements of greenery that both feeds the ivy and is kept around the house has been not manicured in some time. There's definitely a bit of overgrowth and some weeding that has began to overtake parts of the exterior.

LIAM: Right. Right. (sighs) Do we even bother knocking?

TRAVIS: No!

SAM: No?

LIAM: No, right?

SAM: We're just going in?

TRAVIS: Hell yeah.

SAM: What if he's home?

TRAVIS: He's not.

MARISHA: Is the gate open? It's not open, right? The outside gate--

MATT: The outside gate is closed.

SAM: What if--

MARISHA: Is it locked?

TRAVIS: Something's amiss.

MATT: Best you can tell, it has a little padlock on the inside that's latched through.

LIAM: How much gate and fence are we talking about? Does it go around the property? I can't see in my mind space.

MATT: Goes round the front.

LIAM: Just the front.

MATT: Just as front. It blocks in the greenery and it's more of a presentational--

LIAM: So there's no curving around to the side of the building out of view of the street?

MATT: To each side, it does go into a small walkway, maybe about a six-foot wide walkway that leads into the next neighborhood street over. And another building that you can see is buttressed against it on the backside, like these two buildings are built backside to backside and then face outward. But yeah, you can walk along the sides of it. It's just these small neighborhood alleys.

TRAVIS: I'll get us in. Fearne, give me a boost. I go invisible.

SAM: Ooh.

LAURA: Nice. Can I try to use my telekinetic hand to just see if the padlock is actually hooked or if it's open?

MATT: Okay. It's locked. It (metal squeaks).

TRAVIS: Just throw me over. Give me a boost! Ah, oh, careful where you grip!

ASHLEY: Well, I don't know what I'm grabbing here.

MARISHA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Just feel your way. Is that your finger? Just explore.

SAM: Is it pointy?

MARISHA: Is it pointy?

ASHLEY: What is this?

TRAVIS: Well, you know!

MATT: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Oh, this isn't in a... Okay. Well--

TRAVIS: (exclaims)

ASHLEY: Here you go.

MARISHA: Chetney actually carries three chisels.

MATT: (laughs)

SAM: Oh no.

LAURA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: (exclaims, thumps) (laughter)

MATT: There's a little (poof) on the ground.

MARISHA: (shushes)

TRAVIS: Ah, fucking-- (exclaims) I'll go over and I'll use sleight of hand on the lock.

MARISHA: Any guards watching?

MATT: Go for it. Keeping a close sentry-like eyes, as always. You wait until there are no sentries within eye or ear shot.

TRAVIS: 29.

SAM: Whoa.

MATT: 29. Easily enough, this is not a complicated padlock and you're like, oh, this is child's play. Opens up in five seconds.

TRAVIS: I'll just crack the door.

LIAM: Okay, go in. We're good.

ASHLEY: Great job.

SAM: Okay, we're going in?

TRAVIS: Yeah, at least inside the gate so we're out of vision.

SAM: Oh, okay.

MARISHA: Go, go, go, go.

TRAVIS: Once we're inside the yard--

LAURA: Is the gate--

LIAM: Bars or solid?

LAURA: I just pictured it was metal bars.

MATT: It is, yeah.

LAURA: So once we're through the gate, everybody will still see us.

LIAM: We should keep going.

MATT: Yeah, you're still visible.

SAM: No one can see us now.

TRAVIS: Sorry, I thought it was a solid surface. Once I'm over the wall, I picked the lock, is there any (sniffs) dog coming to chew my face? No, I'm invisible. Is there anything in the yard leading up to the building?

MATT: You see a small bird bath type stone installation there in the front.

ASHLEY: It's okay. It's going to be a while.

MATT: It is small. and it looks like the water inside is a bit grimy.

TRAVIS: Ew.

MATT: Definitely has that thick, green moss overgrowth onto it. Yeah, the water's murky.

LAURA: Pretty.

TRAVIS: Any windows that are accessible or just a door in front of me?

MATT: There are two windows to each side where you can see the curtains. These thick, heavy, gray-burgundy curtains on the inside of the windows are drawn closed. You can see they're both lift windows.

TRAVIS: Ooh! Yeah, I'll go over to the left one, crawl up and press my ear against the... Is there a glass pane?

MATT: There is glass pane, yeah.

TRAVIS: Can I press my ear, hear anything inside?

MATT: Perception check.

TRAVIS: Okay. Nine. Oh, but I'm using my...

SAM: Wolf senses?

TRAVIS: Yeah, can I use my crazy senses to roll with advantage?

MATT: You have good hearing, sure. Go ahead and roll it again.

TRAVIS: Nine, no. Sorry, that's 11.

MATT: 11, okay. Don't really hear anything.

TRAVIS: Yeah, no problem. Can I try and lift the window?

MATT: You do. (stuck thud)

SAM: Aw.

MATT: It's locked or barred from the inside.

TRAVIS: Yeah, that makes sense. Hop off the window, I'll go over to the front door. Is there a keyhole?

MATT: There is a keyhole, yes.

TRAVIS: Does the door appear to be trapped?

MATT: Make an investigation check.

SAM: Come on, rogue.

ASHLEY: Are we sure we don't want to just knock?

TRAVIS: No, I want to go in on this person--

SAM: Who are you?

TRAVIS: -- when they're getting dressed.

ASHLEY: Well, what if he's sleeping and then we're like, sorry, we could have just totally--

SAM: We could just knock, it's true.

TRAVIS: 17.

MATT: 17. You do notice the door appears to be locked, and glancing through, inspecting the door, you do notice that barely peeking through the seam from where the door is pressed and locked in, there appears to be a small metal ball of some kind, like the edge of a bolt.

TRAVIS: Ooh!

MATT: You take it, and as you pull on it slightly, it gives, and there's a cable attached to it that vanishes behind the back, meaning the door is holding something there while it's closed. If the door were to open--

LAURA: It's definitely trapped.

MATT: -- it would pull inward.

TRAVIS: Damn. I take a kick. No, I'm just kidding. (laughs)

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Hmm. That's a problem.

LIAM: We got to be quick here, Chet.

MARISHA: Any--

TRAVIS: Hmm?

MARISHA: -- chimneys that you can scurry down? (laughs)

TRAVIS: Are there any gutters or things that are running up the vertical side of this building?

MATT: Yeah, actually.

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

MARISHA: I say in his head, by the way.

MATT: Yeah. What you can see, it looks like a--

MARISHA: I can message from here. (laughter)

MATT: -- a somewhat patinaed dark metal, somewhat beat-up, bronze looking gutter that's set to the far left corner that is pressed against the building, taking on that turquoise, patina color that empties out into the garden. You can see all the grass and all the various clustered weeds and such are very vibrantly growing around the base of this from nearby rainfall pouring fresh water down into that section.

TRAVIS: Before I go over to the gutter, I'll knock on the door, and go: Lakecap Skyport and Lounge delivery.

SAM: Sure.

TRAVIS: Congratulations!

ASHLEY: You won.

TRAVIS: Honeymoon suite. Anybody coming to the door?

TRAVIS: About a minute goes by, no response.

TRAVIS: Okay, I'll go to the gutter. I'll actually go back up and tell everybody: No answer at the door. The door seems to be trapped. The windows are locked. I don't want to break anything yet, so I'm going to try and scutter up this little drain, see if I can get up on the roof.

ASHLEY: What if he's dead?

MARISHA: Did you do anything?

LAURA: Do you want any help or anything?

SAM: Orym's really good at this stuff, too.

TRAVIS: Yeah, but I'm invisible.

LIAM: And I'm making sure that we don't get--

SAM: Oh, he's our lookout.

LIAM: -- brought in by the guards, yeah.

TRAVIS: Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, do it!

SAM: Do what?

LAURA: I reach down to Orym. I look, is anybody looking at us?

LIAM: Uh-uh. Not at the moment.

LAURA: You're invisible.

SAM: Ooh!

ASHLEY: Awesome!

LAURA: Go with Chet.

SAM: And for the rest of us, we should-- Because people can still see us in the front yard, right?

ASHLEY: Where'd Orym go?! (laughter)

LAURA: He's fine, he's fine.

SAM: We should just act like we're groundskeepers or something. I'm going to start mowing the lawn with my wheel.

MATT: (laughs)

SAM: (lawnmower whirring)

TRAVIS: I kick Fearne in the shin.

ASHLEY: Ow!

TRAVIS: All right--

LIAM: Orym runs and leaps and catches on the drain and then backwards somersaults up.

MARISHA: Maybe the same thing happened to Orym is what happened to Ashton!

ASHLEY: (gasps)

LAURA: In your head, you hear: Just make sure Chet can get up, too.

LIAM: I thought he went up.

ASHLEY: Maybe it's the bird.

TRAVIS: No, I'm going behind.

ASHLEY: It's the fucking bird.

SAM: Don't you fucking tease me about that bird.

ASHLEY: I'm not teasing you. I think there's something to this.

LAURA: I can't do shit.

TRAVIS: I hear (flipping). I'm like: Fucking young blood piece of shit.

LIAM: Chet! Chet, I'm dangling invisible rope!

MARISHA: I'm pruning. This is my pruning.

TRAVIS: I swatting and swiping at nothing.

LIAM: It's right next to the drain pipe.

SAM: (lawn mower whirring)

LAURA: What are you all doing?

ASHLEY: I'm gathering leaves.

MARISHA: We're gardeners.

LAURA: You really look like gardeners. All three of y'all.

ASHLEY: I'm cleaning all the leaves.

LAURA: Oh my god.

MATT: Okay.

MATT: The two of you scurry up to the top of the second floor and there is a small balcony--

ASHLEY: She's pruning.

MATT: -- with dual wooden doors--

LIAM: Guys, Ashley's trying to work.

MATT: -- with window panes set into them that are latched from the inside.

TRAVIS: No windows, just doors?

MATT: From where you're standing right now, there is no window, there is the balcony and the double doors that open outward.

TRAVIS: Got it.

MATT: It's a nice little morning balcony for the professor.

TRAVIS: Should I check these doors? I'm going to check these doors. Can I see if those are trapped?

ASHLEY: Can they see each other?

SAM: No.

MATT: Sure. Investigation check.

LAURA: No, they can't. (laughter)

SAM: Super sexy.

TRAVIS: 16. Yeah.

MATT: 16? Looking through the glass past the also drawn curtains, there's a little bit of sunlight that comes through, and you can see there's this faint little bit of silver thread that is just visible across the base of the glass on the inside that's barely visible.

LIAM: You know what that is?

TRAVIS: Uh-huh. But that's usually put up when they're inside, right?

LIAM: You don't know what entrances or exits there are to this place. Underneath? Up top? On the back?

TRAVIS: Is there access to a roof from this balcony?

MATT: With a little bit of sly movement, it's possible. There is a chimney.

TRAVIS: You want to go to the roof, or I can open the door?

LIAM: Okay. I tap on the ground. I'm going to jump up ahead of you and lower the rope down to here. I'll pull you up. There's an invisible rope down there now! (laughter)

TRAVIS: How close are you? Am I getting warmer or hotter?

LIAM: I barely know where I am!

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

LAURA: I like the idea to think that of this campaign was ever turned into an animated series--

TRAVIS: Is this--?

LAURA: -- this would be like--

LIAM: Just a static shot of the roof. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Make a bird sound or something!

MARISHA: Sung Jin would be so pleased. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Yes!

MATT: Oh my god!

MARISHA: They would save so much money.

LIAM: Ca-caw!

TRAVIS: Can I feel around for a rope anywhere? (laughter)

MATT: There's no rope.

TRAVIS: Goddamn it! (laughter)

TRAVIS: See if you can-- (laughs) Go on without me. Good luck, Orym.

LIAM: Okay, now I'm really going to lower it down. I'm really lowering it down.

TRAVIS: Okay, okay.

MATT: Do you?

LIAM: Yes!

MATT: Okay. (laughter)

MATT: You do find the rope.

TRAVIS: Oh, thank god! (laughter)

MATT: Okay, you're both onto the--

LIAM: We just feel each other on the roof. Okay. Okay, grounded.

MATT: Perfect.

TRAVIS: Is there a chimney on the roof?

MATT: There is a chimney on the roof.

LAURA: Is there a chin me?

MATT: There is also, you notice, a pair of sentries that are doing their rounds now through the main road to pass through the front of the neighborhood and the house.

LIAM: Oh jeez!

SAM: (lawn mower whirring)

LAURA: We still have a mental connection, just so you know.

LIAM: We do? Oh, so I can--

LAURA: Yes.

LIAM: -- talk back through your mental connection?

LAURA: You can talk to me.

LIAM: Oh, okay. You might want to find some bushes or something quickly because the guards're coming back around.

LAURA: Walk away. Let's four walk away. Just walk, let's just walk!

SAM: Can we walk around the back of the house? Is there a way around to the back of the house?

MATT: Not from the front, you'd have to go outside of the front and then go along the alley--

LAURA: We'll stay on the outside of the gate and just walk away.

SAM: Oh okay, okay, all right.

LAURA: We're just people walking around.

SAM: Well, our work is done, I guess.

ASHLEY: I was just having such a good time.

LAURA: Come on, y'all, let's just head on.

SAM: Bagging up the leaves.

TRAVIS: I'll go over and hop in the chimney and start shuffling down.

LAURA: We should find a park or something to grab some lunch.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: I'll hold the rope. You were born for this.

TRAVIS: I was. I was. (laughter)

LIAM: Just when I think I'm out, they pull me back in.

MATT: All right, cool.

LIAM: Son of a bitch.

SAM: You're still gardening as we're walking away?

MARISHA: I don't know why!

MATT: So while you're shimmying down the chimney, the rest of you are attempting to nonchalantly scatter.

SAM: Yeah.

LAURA: We're going to walk as a group, walk like we're walking down the street.

MATT: I would like a group stealth and/or group deception check, your choice, right now. Are you guys doing stealth or deception?

SAM: Oh, we all have to do the same?

LAURA: Deception.

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: I say deception.

ASHLEY: Yeah, let's do deception.

LAURA: I say deception.

MATT: Okay, so group deception.

LIAM: We're just on a stroll.

LIAM: Just a robot, and a dead lady, and a goat lady, and a purple-haired lady.

LAURA: ♪ We're just a group of people ♪ ♪ Walking around ♪

SAM: I rolled great.

MARISHA: I did okay, I did okay, I'm fine.

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: 18.

MATT: 18.

SAM: 24!

ASHLEY: 14?

LAURA: 19.

MATT: Okay, that's actually pretty solid. As the sentries approach, walking by, their helmets with the scalp points on them, one of them with a big, thick orcish jaw with a really awesome looking jeweled ring that's put through one of the tusks on the side glances over. You can see the sentries that are assigned to this area are fairly well dressed to match the aesthetic of the neighborhood. The one that gives you a nod as you pass by, accepting your presence, though a little perturbed by yours, but continues on. (laughter)

SAM: You haven't seen a skeleton gardener before? (laughter)

LAURA: Are you guys still pretending to be gardeners?

ASHLEY: Yes, of course.

LAURA: Why are you walking around like that?

MARISHA: With my shears.

ASHLEY: This soil is amazing.

MATT: Some Watchtower shit.

TRAVIS: The rose bush is just the stem. (laughter)

MARISHA: Just a gnarled stem.

TRAVIS: No flowers at all.

MATT: Oh my god. Some Black Hole Sun music video shit there.

ASHLEY: Yes!

MARISHA: Yeah!

ASHLEY: That's so weird. I was thinking about that earlier.

MATT: It's a good video.

ASHLEY: With the ice cream when she opens her mouth.

MARISHA: The one who was staring me down.

MATT: Ah.

MARISHA: As he walks away, Unsettling Presence.

SAM: Oh no!

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Oh dear.

MATT: He walks away and then stops. The other one keeps walking. He stops, his shoulders. He slowly turns back around. (laughter)

MATT: Scurries to catch up with the other one.

MARISHA: It's so fun.

ASHLEY: I just love it so much. It's so great.

MARISHA: Sorry, I can't help it.

MATT: Do you guys continue keeping out about, or do you begin to return to the house?

SAM: Yeah, we're just going to walk.

LAURA: Yeah, we just walk around. Talk about how beautiful it is.

MARISHA: While we're doing this little stroll, can I sense Shithead?

SAM: Oh, that's right, you're Hexed!

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: Yeah, for any distance, right?

MARISHA: For what?

MATT: How far and how long? You said eight hours.

MARISHA: Eight hours for forever.

MATT: I believe that is correct.

MARISHA: Maintain my concentration-- Hang on. Wait, where was it?

SAM: What does it mean?

TRAVIS: It says up to an hour.

MARISHA: It doesn't say. I don't know if this is the full spell.

MATT: Okay, yeah, no. With Hex, so Hex doesn't necessarily tell you where they are.

MARISHA: Oh fuck.

MATT: The Hex just is maintained on them.

LAURA: Oh, it's not like Hunter's Mark.

MARISHA: That's what I was thinking.

SAM: Hunter's Mark is different.

MARISHA: It is different.

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: But it's called the same thing.

MARISHA: But it's a curse.

SAM: Hex and Hunter's Mark have the same name.

MARISHA: Can I sense it?

LAURA: It's so weird.

SAM: That's weird.

MATT: No, unfortunately.

TRAVIS: No. (laughs)

MATT: That's what makes Hunter's Mark really useful, too.

SAM: Do you sense it?

MATT: But here's the note.

MARISHA: Coast is clear.

SAM: Good.

MATT: If you manage to encounter Shithead again in the next eight hours, seven hours now, they'll still be Hexed. (laughter)

LAURA: Good use of a 3rd-level.

MARISHA: I put a curse on him. Yes.

SAM: That's amazing.

MARISHA: Still cursed.

SAM: Thank you for that.

MATT: All right. While you are doing your stroll, you have shimmied down this chimney, make an acrobatics check for me, if you don't mind, or athletics, your choice.

TRAVIS: I'll do athletics because I have advantage.

MATT: You have advantage if you're transformed.

TRAVIS: Oh, yep. Ignore that part. 24.

MATT: 24. Without issue, especially with the aid of Orym's invisible rope, you head through the chimney relatively-- It's a tight spot. This is a chimney designed for a small creature. So it is not a relatively airy chimney of a normal humanoid occupant. But you do manage to squeeze through and you head down into the interior of the top room. This chimney actually attaches to a fireplace that is within the main bedroom upstairs. So as you stumble out, you step over the metallic hold with some charred wood that has been left there and unburned for quite some time. On the inside, it's a quaint little sleeping space. There's a little bed there with blankets, like they have been pulled off, or open at least and haven't been tucked or put away. There's a large armoire that is partially open, and you can see there's a robe that's hanging off of a wooden knob there. It looks to be a bathing basin off near one of the other far windows to the backside. There's a staircase that descends to the bottom floor.

TRAVIS: Quick smell and a listen on the inside, anything?

MATT: Make a perception check with advantage. You also see the doorway that opens to the balcony.

TRAVIS: 11.

MATT: 11.

MARISHA: The doorway that opens to the balcony?

MATT: Yeah, the double doors that open up outward to the balcony. Looking back, you can see from this side, that silver thread is lined all the way around the room past the window on the backside, past the door that enters this chamber.

TRAVIS: Damn.

MATT: The staircase where it is, it's right across the threshold of the staircase as well.

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

TRAVIS: But you (sniffs). Nothing in particular. Nothing's catching your attention.

TRAVIS: (cooing) Coast is clear.

LIAM: Did you say "mostly fear"?

TRAVIS: Yeah, yep.

SAM: Oh no!

LAURA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: (cooing) Come on down.

LIAM: Maybe I should wait. Can you let the others in first?

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah. I'll try that, I'll try that.

ASHLEY: I hear a bird cooing.

TRAVIS: I step out into the bedroom. I notice that wire going everywhere.

SAM: I run under your skirt.

ASHLEY: Okay. You're safe there.

SAM: It's so warm.

TRAVIS: How does that work? Do I have to trip it or could I step over it? I can't remember how it works.

SAM: There's so many items in here.

TRAVIS: It looks like a tripwire. It looks like a tripwire.

ASHLEY: That's my grotto.

MARISHA: It looks like a fucking thrift store under her skirt.

TRAVIS: But because we're on the second floor and this is the bedroom, is there a desk, an armoire, anything that looks like an area of study for this guy?

MATT: Yeah, I mean it looks like there's a small side table. You don't see a particular desk in this room necessarily, but there is a side table beyond the edge of the bed.

TRAVIS: I'm going to go over to the doorway that leads downstairs. I see the tripwire. I'm going to step over it.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Does anything happen?

MATT: Well, you notice it's less of a tripwire and more that it's just laid across the ground.

TRAVIS: Hmm.

MATT: It's created this perimeter around the inside of the room.

TRAVIS: That doesn't seem like a very efficient security set. Okay, I'll just go down the steps.

MATT: Okay, and you're staying up on the top?

LIAM: I'm perched on the top of the chimney. I alert Imogen what's going on.

MATT: Okay. All right.

TRAVIS: Anything (sniffs) on the bottom floor?

MATT: On the bottom floor? Another smell, you can roll again, perception with advantage.

TRAVIS: 17.

MATT: 17. You smell the faintest smell of sweat.

LIAM: Ooh.

MATT: Like the smell of nerves.

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

LIAM: Oh, he's here.

LAURA: He's here.

TRAVIS: Oh shit.

LAURA: He's terrified.

LIAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Oh no.

LAURA: Yep.

TRAVIS: But I don't see anything, right?

MATT: No. You come down in this area and this is the main base entryway. You can see the front door that leads outward into the garden. You can see there is a taut cable that has looped down onto something and is pulled back up to the top of the ceiling.

TRAVIS: In the middle of the downstairs area from the front door?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Super obvious.

MATT: From the inside, it's super obvious. But it looks like it's pulled back on this strong tense point. It's affixed to a terracotta pot, it looks like.

TRAVIS: Holy shit.

MATT: Maybe about that large or so, that's hanging right there with the wire attached and wrapped around it.

TRAVIS: Nerves, sweat.

MATT: You see there's a small kitchen behind and to the left of the staircase you came down. There is a desk, an actual prominent writing desk that is to the right of the front door. It's a roll-top desk that's closed currently and appears to be locked or has a key hole in it. The interior here is decorated nicely, but there's not a lot of iconography. There's not portraits or paintings. There's just small collectibles, little clay sculptures and stone chiseled bits. There are some modest bookshelves that contain small books, ledgers, tomes.

TRAVIS: I'm going to-- Oh god. Okay. I'm going to move down into the bottom floor, I'm trying to actually get eyes on this person that's probably hiding somewhere in here since he's on the defensive. I'll move through, staying wary of the line and the pot, which seems more like a warning system. It would open, that would crash, and give a sound?

MATT: Possibly.

TRAVIS: From its construction.

MATT: If you want to make an investigation check to really figure out how it functions.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'll do that. 18.

MATT: 18. So you look. The cord, it's on some sort of a ratcheted device that's affixed to the ceiling. Not very well constructed, but functional enough where it looks like there's a lot of tensile strength between the door and that, where if it would become loose, it would reverse and send the pot swinging towards the door, but it would hit the ground and shatter before it reached the door.

TRAVIS: Oh. Oh, that's worse. That's worse. Fuck. Okay. The cord going up to the pot, is it wire or rope from what I can tell?

MATT: It looks to be a very thin wire.

TRAVIS: Very thin wire. Boy, this is just no good, we just want to talk to this guy, right? What the fuck?

MARISHA: This is very intense.

TRAVIS: I'm just going to keep walking through the room. Do I see anyone hiding in the-- I'm checking the corners, I'm looking next to the furniture, I'm also keeping an eye on where my feet go that move silently in my boots.

MATT: Okay. Make a perception check for your visual sweep of the interior.

TRAVIS: Just a single?

MATT: Single, because it's just for your eyes.

TRAVIS: 15.

MATT: 15. You glance around here and there is a few dust bunnies behind some of the bits of furniture, around the sides of the curtains where they hit the floor. You don't see any feet dangling beneath pieces of furniture in the gaps. You don't see any places where a person might hide in an alcove. Yeah, this entryway seems to be pretty clear from your vision.

TRAVIS: How's that smell of sweat? Stronger?

MATT: If you haven't moved from this main entryway--

TRAVIS: I've moved in a little bit.

MATT: Moved in a bit? I mean, it seems how it was before.

TRAVIS: (coughs obviously)

SAM: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Any rustle?

SAM: Trying to give them the flu? (laughing)

TRAVIS: Yeah, uh-huh.

MATT: It's the slow victory that matters. (laughing)

TRAVIS: Chipping them down one at a time.

SAM: Check back in two weeks, motherfucker! (laughing)

MATT: No rustling, nothing.

TRAVIS: What's this fucking professor's name?

SAM: Ebenold Kai. (coos) Ebenold Kai.

MARISHA: Kai. (laughs)

TRAVIS: Professor Kai?

SAM and MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: (coos)

TRAVIS: Professor Kai? We don't mean any harm, we just want to talk. No offense, but I can smell you.

LIAM: You also know that we were sent here by his friend, Roe Estani. Sam: (coos)

TRAVIS: Yeah.

SAM and LAURA: (coo)

TRAVIS: We were also sent here by your friend, Master Estani.

MATT: Nothing. That lingering old smell of recent sweat, it's there, but it's not super strong or pungent.

TRAVIS: Okay. I'll go over to the front door to where the cord's coming down. Is there an actual hand crank that might release the tension on the wire?

MATT: There is a small crank, but it is locked in position. You could try and pull the pin that maintains the tension and control if you want to control the descent.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I'm doing that.

MATT: Okay. Make just a dexterity check for me. Go ahead and roll a dexterity-- A d20 plus your dexterity modifier.

SAM: Come on!

TRAVIS: Five.

SAM: Oh.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: So you go, got this! You take the pin.

MARISHA: It's going so well.

MATT: Slowly, ping! It winds up fast.

TRAVIS: Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!

MATT: Right as you turn around, you see where the cable pulls back this way, the pot swings right towards you, make a dexterity saving throw for me.

TRAVIS: I feel like Joe Pesci right now.

MARISHA: Done! Done!

SAM: Except there's no boy, it's just you.

TRAVIS: 18.

MATT: 18. You jump back out of the way and the pot just (whoosh) past your face before it hits the ground and smashes, this black tar-like substance spills up across the ground and the doorway and it fills about an eight- by 10-foot area right at the entranceway here. As it (splash), it settles and then kind of sets.

SAM: Sets?

MARISHA: Like a glue?

TRAVIS: Any movement once all that happens? Any footsteps, movement, anything?

MATT: Make a perception check.

ASHLEY: What kind of professor is he again?

SAM: Professor of traps.

LAURA: A professor of... I don't know.

TRAVIS: 18. No, sorry. 14.

MATT: 14. No movement.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MATT: No movement here in the entryway.

TRAVIS: Fuck! (frustrated groan) Oh, the window! I go over to the window. Can I find the lock for the window?

MATT: Indeed, and you do see that there are these metal pipes that have been cut off, sawed at some point, to be placed on top of the window and keep them from pulling up.

TRAVIS: Oh, like a door jam? Can I pull them out and lift?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Is there something to press or hold? If I let go, will the window--

MATT: If you let go of the window, it will come down.

TRAVIS: Oh, of course.

MATT: I mean you can put the wedge underneath and hold it there.

TRAVIS: Okay. Hey, psst! Come to the window!

SAM: We're on a walk.

ASHLEY: Which one?

LAURA: We were on our way back. Would we be back by then?

TRAVIS: Can I see anybody outside?

SAM: We did a lap around the block.

MATT: I feel like you did lap around the block.

TRAVIS: What the fuck? (laughing)

TRAVIS: Shit!

LIAM: But Orym heard that.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: So I can tell you're at the window down below. So I will speak to Imogen. I think we got a window open.

LAURA: Oh!

LIAM: It looks like-- Is it clear at the moment?

MATT: Looks to be at the moment, yeah.

LIAM: Okay, I think you guys can head back.

LAURA: Great.

SAM: (lawn mower whirring)

MARISHA: What did he say?

LAURA: Chet got a window open.

MARISHA: All right, are we going?

SAM: Should we go back?

LAURA: Yeah, I think so.

SAM: Well, I haven't finished mowing the lawn yet, though. I still have half the lawn to go.

LAURA: I think it's fine. I'm going to go. I'm just going.

ASHLEY: What do I do with these?

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: No, put it in my bag.

SAM: Find a green bin.

MARISHA: This is great.

ASHLEY: All these leaves?

MARISHA: Leaves can be very useful.

ASHLEY: They can, they can make a good bed for future planting. Okay.

MARISHA: Absolutely. (laughing)

LAURA: I'm so far ahead of them.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I check the Treshi scry ball. Treshi ball.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Treshi ball check.

MATT: Nothing.

MARISHA: All right.

SAM: Treshi ball change. (laughing)

TRAVIS: ♪ Treshi ball change, Treshi ball change ♪ ♪ Flap, flap, Treshi ball change ♪

LAURA: Oh wait. There's the feet?

LIAM: I Super Mario down to the window.

LIAM: Are you here?

TRAVIS: Yeah, over here.

LIAM: Oh you're right there.

TRAVIS: At the open window. I have to hold it open.

LIAM: Okay, all right. I'll climb in.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Wait before you go. I thought I smelled odorous body odor. Sweat, I smelled perspiration.

LIAM: Not your own?

TRAVIS: No. I feel like somebody's in here, but I couldn't see them.

LIAM: Okay.

ASHLEY: (laughs)

LIAM: I scan the room with my eagle eyes.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: Do I see-- Is there carpet on the floor?

MATT: The floor in here is mostly hardwood here in the entryway.

MARISHA: Nice.

MATT: There is some small carpeted area on the threshold in the kitchen.

LAURA: Classy.

MATT: There's a little bit of carpeted area off into the sitting area around where the roll-top desk sits.

LIAM: Okay, I'm going to scan everything I see and then go and roll that rug back.

MATT: Okay. So make a perception check.

SAM: It's laminate.

LIAM: Okay.

MARISHA: Lies!

TRAVIS: Nice.

SAM: Yeah, it's laminate.

LIAM: Natural 20. (cheering) (laughing)

MATT: Natural 20. For total of?

LIAM: For 29.

TRAVIS: That's a halfling thing.

MATT: 29.

ASHLEY: Sheesh!

LAURA: What do your halfling eyes see?

LIAM: (straining)

MATT: (laughs) All right, so looking through this chamber, you don't see any movement, you don't see any particular signs of anybody standing or hiding throughout the interior here. You can see the desk. The desk itself does appear to be latched. It looks like there is a... Usually there would be a small key, you see where the latch itself is turned, with a high enough roll, you can literally look at it and be like, oh, that's locked. But that's all you see.

LIAM: Okay, and what about--

MATT: But you feel confident that nothing's hiding in this room.

LIAM: Okay, and is there anything under the rug? Is there a trap door of any kind? Anything like that?

MATT: You go over and pull back the rug that's by the desk?

LIAM: Yep.

MATT: No, it's just more of the wooden floor.

LIAM: Shit. Okay. So the most distinct features are this desk that's locked, you talked about bookshelves.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LIAM: I guess, while they're coming in, and I'm still invisible, I'm going to start looking for any hidden doors or anything, anything beyond just--

TRAVIS: Oh, be careful. There's a silver wire upstairs around the master bedroom.

LIAM: Okay. Well, I'll stay down here for now.

TRAVIS: The primary bedroom.

LIAM: So I'll investigate, I'll go beyond perception.

MATT: Okay, so you want to investigate the entryway?

SAM: Beyond perception.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: That's balls. That's 11.

MATT: 11, okay. Looking around here, you don't see any trap doors, hidden pathways here in the entryway, around the base of the stairs. Look around the desk, nothing there that seems to pull your attention specifically. The upstairs and the kitchen, and that's primarily from what you can see from the outside of the house, that's about it.

LIAM: Okay.

SAM: Are we here yet?

MATT: I'd say about now, you guys have returned, and you can see one of the windows is now--

TRAVIS: It's just kind of going (shaking window pane).

SAM: Oh, you're just holding it up?

TRAVIS: Over here!

MARISHA: Oh!

ASHLEY: Oh, did we get--

SAM: Can you give me a boost?

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. (straining)

MARISHA: Oh, here, Chet. Immovable rod, click, click.

SAM: Oh.

ASHLEY: Oh, that's a great idea.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: (laughs)

SAM: I'm going in.

TRAVIS: Ah.

SAM: (thuds)

MATT: You do. It's like (FCG tumbling)

SAM: Come on in. Do you need a hand?

ASHLEY: No, I can get right in.

LAURA: I think we could just use a regular-ass, one of these metal rods sitting all over the ground to hold this window up.

MATT: Yep.

LAURA: You just held it the whole time.

MARISHA: I thought that's what you did before.

TRAVIS: No, I was holding it up.

MATT: Yep. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Do you need help in?

MARISHA: No, I got it.

SAM: Ooh, oh. Ugh!

ASHLEY: Oh, just the flexibility, it's gorgeous.

LAURA: It's amazing, right?

ASHLEY: Okay. I'll just get right in.

LAURA: I'll go last so I can help push Fearne through.

MARISHA: You see Fearne just--

ASHLEY: Oh no, my hips aren't fitting in.

TRAVIS: Just so you know!

MARISHA: What, what, what?

TRAVIS: I don't know if this place is empty or not!

ASHLEY: Give me a good push!

TRAVIS: It smells like anxiety and sweat.

ASHLEY: I'm stuck.

LAURA: (straining)

MATT: Winnie the Pooh her into the house?

SAM: I'll pull, I'll pull!

LAURA: Yeah, I'm pushing her butt!

SAM and LAURA: (strain)

MATT: (Fearne tumbling in)

ASHLEY: Okay.

MARISHA: Did you all hear what Chet said? It was very important.

SAM: Chet said that there might be someone here.

LAURA: Oh.

MARISHA: It smells like sweat.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it just smells like sweat and anxiety.

LAURA: Oh, I'll Detect Thoughts.

TRAVIS: Smells Like Teen Spirit. (laughing)

MATT: You Detect Thoughts?

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: What does sweat smell like?

MARISHA: Can you not smell?

SAM: I can't.

MARISHA: We just learn something new about you every day.

LIAM: But you can taste, right?

SAM: I can't taste or smell.

LIAM: What good is that tongue?

MARISHA and SAM: (laugh)

MARISHA: But can you feel the grass with your feet?

SAM: I don't have-- Oh, I do have feet!

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: You sense--

ASHLEY: What is this music?

TRAVIS: Uh-oh.

MATT: -- the presence of two minds--

MARISHA: (gasps)

MATT: -- beneath you.

MARISHA: (gasps)

MARISHA and LAURA: Two!

MARISHA: Two? Who would the other one be? Wait a second.

TRAVIS: We're knee deep.

SAM: Two minds. There's a basement?

LIAM: Yeah, maybe there's just some way down. Chet, check that desk.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LIAM: Can you get that open?

TRAVIS: How many drawers are on the desk?

MATT: Four drawers.

TRAVIS: Four drawers, and looking underneath the lip of the desk, are there any buttons, switches, any sort of wiring, cabling, anything that can--

MATT: Make an investigation check.

SAM: If we go down there, whatever is down there has definitely heard us clomping around up here.

TRAVIS: 17.

LAURA: Sure. They know we're here.

MATT: 17? Nothing, looks like a basic desk.

TRAVIS: Do the drawers look locked?

MATT: The drawers do not appear to be locked.

TRAVIS: Okay, can I open them and just peer inside?

MATT: Yep, they're mostly empty.

TRAVIS: Oh.

MATT: Everything's been taken from them.

TRAVIS: Okay.

SAM: But the roll-top is locked?

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: Oh, okay, wait. I'm going to say--

LIAM: You're going to talk to them?

LAURA: You already talked! They know we're here. They can hear us clomping around.

LIAM: For sure.

LAURA: I'm just going to say-- It's Estani, right?

LIAM: Roe Estani.

LAURA: Professor Estani--

LIAM: Sent us.

LAURA: Oh, professor Estani sent us. What's his name?

LIAM: Ebenold Kai.

LAURA: Professor Kai, we're friendly.

MATT: So who are you sending this to?

LAURA: I'm not sending it, if I can detect the presence of a creature, I can detect their thoughts.

MATT: You can detect their thoughts?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: So if--

MATT: But can you converse with them?

LAURA: No, but if I'm talking to them--

LIAM: So you're saying that out loud? To see what they think?

LAURA: I'm saying that out loud so that I can detect their thoughts after I say it.

MATT: Oh, I see. I see, got you.

ASHLEY: Nice, nice, nice.

MATT: You don't sense any change. You don't know if they heard you.

LAURA: All right.

SAM: Maybe it's way below us.

ASHLEY: I'm going to start walking around and doing my dune walk.

MARISHA: I assist.

ASHLEY: Trying to find some hollow spots.

SAM: And what about this roll-top? We can't open it?

TRAVIS: No, the drawers are empty. There's nothing on the underside.

SAM: But the thing's locked?

TRAVIS: Did you say it was a roll-top?

MATT: It was a roll-top, yeah.

SAM: Yeah, but it's locked.

TRAVIS: Oh, I'll try and pick the lock.

MATT: Okay, make a sleight of hand check. Make an investigation check.

LAURA: But can I sense any thoughts from them?

MARISHA: What's your investigation, a million?

LAURA: I can detect their thoughts, so I'd be able to tell.

ASHLEY: Oh, mine's minus one.

MARISHA: Yours is minus one? Mine's plus one, so let's both roll.

SAM: You can't tell distance, though.

LAURA: Yeah, exactly.

MARISHA: You want to assist me?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: All right.

MATT: "Any one creature you can see to detect the thoughts specifically or you can use the spell to detect the presence of creatures you can't see." So you can sense they're there.

LAURA: Then below that, "Once you detect the presence of a creature in this way, you can read its thoughts for the rest of the duration. Even if you can't see it, but it must still be within range."

MATT: Oh, I see, I see.

SAM: This is some D&D Beyond stuff. You need an easy gift to give your favorite DM this year? Give them the gift of D&D Beyond. (laughter)

SAM: Go to dndbeyond.link/crshop.

TRAVIS: 31 on the lock picking of the roll-top.

MATT: Oh yeah, well done. It picks open. It closes up at the top, and you can see the tension roll back and forth as it comes to rest. I need you to make a dexterity saving throw.

TRAVIS: Goddamn it! I didn't check if it was trapped! Fuck!

LAURA and MATT: (laugh)

TRAVIS: I'm off my game! (laughs) (shouts) 11!

MATT: (laughs) 11?

LAURA and ASHLEY: Oh no!

MATT: Perfect.

TRAVIS: Or is that a nine? Is that a nine? That's a nine, so that's a 14.

SAM: Oh, well, that's slightly better.

TRAVIS: It's not a six.

LAURA: Slightly better.

MATT: 14 is not too bad.

TRAVIS: Okay, great.

MATT: It's not enough, though.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

SAM: (laughs)

TRAVIS: (explodes)

MATT: So as the desk slides open, there is a small column of material that looks similar, I want to say a concrete tube of some kind that as it pulls back, something ruptures from behind it, and you feel a warm liquid of some kind all of a sudden splash onto your chest.

MARISHA: Got dye bags.

MATT and TRAVIS: (laugh)

TRAVIS: (boof)

MARISHA: (laughs) Fuck!

TRAVIS: That same black liquid that was near the door?

MATT: No.

SAM: It's jizz.

MATT: (sternly) No. (laughter)

MATT: Damn it, Sam.

LAURA: The fact that you had to say no. (laughter)

ASHLEY: I know!

MARISHA and ASHLEY: No.

ASHLEY: Can you guys not be this way?

LIAM: Don't be gross. It's diarrhea. (laughter)

MATT: You take eight points of acid damage.

TRAVIS: Oh, oh, okay.

MATT: As it begins to (sizzles) burn into your skin, you all see smoke like steam rising off--

TRAVIS: (painful groans)

MATT: -- of Chetney, as he turns around--

TRAVIS: Invisible Chetney, ah!

MATT: That's right, you just see steam. (laughter)

MARISHA: Are you still invisible?

LAURA: I think something got him.

MATT: No, it's only when you attack or cast the spell.

MARISHA: You attack or cast a spell!

SAM: Chetney, are you okay? What happened?

TRAVIS: Fuck, it has acid! It had acid in it! It had acid in it!

SAM: Acid? Oh gosh!

MATT: Make a constitution saving throw.

MARISHA: Ooh, you got the desk open!

ASHLEY: Did he get it open?

MATT: The desk's open.

LIAM: Yeah.

TRAVIS: 18, natural 16.

MATT: 18, okay, so the acid does not continue to burn deeper into your body.

LAURA: Oh my god.

TRAVIS: Shit. (sighs)

SAM: You okay?

TRAVIS: I'm fine. I'm sure this is the mother load. It was worth it. Is there anything in the roll-top desk?

MATT: It's empty.

TRAVIS: Goddamn it! (laughter)

MARISHA: No way!

SAM: I'm going to feel around. Is there like a tunnel? Does it open into a tunnel?

MARISHA: Yes!

MATT: No.

TRAVIS: Oh shit!

LIAM: Is there thin wisps of smoke coming off of nothing in front of us?

MATT: Yep, yep.

LAURA: Amazing, there's no buttons in the desk or anything that could open up something else?

MATT: Make an investigation check, if you'd like.

SAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: Fearne and I were investigating the floor. She's assisting me.

MATT: Okay. All right.

MARISHA: Mm, 14.

LAURA: 16.

MATT: Okay. No, it appears to be a normal desk beyond that one interior trap. You're getting the sense that there are elements of this household that expect incursions. There's a little aspect of it that in a weird way reminds you, different, but similar to Lord Eshteross--

LIAM and SAM: Eshteross.

MATT: -- but not quite as well-constructed, not quite as deadly, at the very least.

TRAVIS: Yeah, if they are down there, just watching the feed. I step over the wire, it's like-- (boing, crash, poof, puff) (yelling) (laughter)

MARISHA: Just all of it.

SAM: Feathers!

TRAVIS: Are there Micro Machines on the floor?

MATT: But checking the floor, there does appear to be a slab or some sort of a measure of harder substance, and you're not catching any sort of hollow sounds. It's not a hollow right beneath the wood floor. There is an actual floor surface beneath.

SAM: The room we're in covers the entire floor plan of the house or there's other rooms?

LIAM: Or is it just the entryway?

MATT: No, just in the entryway, and then there's where the desk is which is in a writing nook. Then there's the kitchen, and then there's the stairs that lead up into the bedroom upstairs.

ASHLEY: What about under the stairs?

SAM: I'm going to the kitchen. Under the stairs is good.

ASHLEY: You know how sometimes people are under there?

SAM: I'm going to go... What? (laughs)

ASHLEY: Under the stairs?

ASHLEY: Sorry, that's a really old reference.

SAM: (laugh)

TRAVIS: Who wants to go to the kitchen?

MARISHA and SAM: I'll go to the kitchen.

TRAVIS: Who's going to the stairs?

ASHLEY: I'll go into the stairs.

LAURA: I'm going to go into the stairs.

TRAVIS: Amazing.

SAM: (laughs)

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: Okay.

SAM: As soon as I get in the kitchen, I'm getting as much cooking supplies as I can and popping them in the backpack.

MARISHA: Oh yes, and the really good spices!

MATT: Okay, you can do that. You walk in here. It's a quaint kitchen.

TRAVIS: (boof) (laughter)

MATT: Beat me to it.

LIAM: Antiqued. (laughter)

MATT: You can see they have another cable, similar to what that trap was made from, but it's hanging from two parts of the ceiling, and there are all manner of pots and spoons and ladles, all hanging from it. They've all slid to the center and gathered. Those are all hanging on hooks. You can pull them off pretty easy.

SAM: Baking pans, baking trays, and some flour, lots of baking stuff.

MATT: Definitely plenty of that. You're making a noise going through here and gathering cooking supplies. (clanks and clatters)

MARISHA: I look at the spice cabinet.

MATT: You see there's a washing basin. There's like 12 dirty bowls that are stacked and uncleaned off to the side.

TRAVIS: ♪ Dirty bowls dir-dir dirty bowls ♪

SAM: Has service for 12.

MARISHA: Well, unless you're really lazy, and you don't wash, you're quickly surviving. Maybe it's a sign of them coming up and down really quick. I keep looking for doors and shit after raiding the spice cabinet.

MATT: So you raid the spice cabinet, and make an investigation or perception check, your choice.

LAURA: You know, Travis and I, we have a lot of cups, so I mean, if you were judging by that, you would think we--

SAM: You wash them! You don't leave 12 dirty bowls.

TRAVIS: We have an absurd about of coffee mugs, you guys.

LAURA: I collect mugs.

SAM: I know, but you don't leave 12 of them dirty.

MARISHA: 15.

LAURA: No.

MATT: 15? You look around the room, and there's the wall beyond where the kettle is set, where there's the washing basin. Then there's the closet where the spice is and the flour and other elements are hidden. Then to the side of that, there is facing back in towards the wall that faces where under the stairs would be essentially. There's a painting hanging on the wall, and you watch the texture of the stone that the wall is comprised of, ever so faintly shift at a certain point. There's the seam where the stones are set, and one bit of the stone is a little bit further forward than the other. I mean, it's pretty thin. You can't get your fingers in there.

MARISHA: (whispers) FCG.

SAM: What?

MARISHA: Does this seem off to you? I take the...

SAM: The painting?

MARISHA: What is the painting of?

MATT: The painting looks like it's a delightful sailboat on the Beryl Sea. You can see it has this early morning color to it. Just post-sunrise, it's bright orange and vibrant yellow, with the blue-green sea beneath it.

SAM: It does seem off. The shading is very pedestrian, and the brush strokes are sort of sloppy.

MARISHA: But maybe this confirms he's a boat person, so maybe Carole...

SAM: Oh, that's right.

MARISHA: Maybe they could, you know. But also, but look at this. I'm going to lift off the painting.

MATT: Okay. It's a wall.

MARISHA: But do you see this? Do you see this? Does this look weird to you?

SAM: I'm going to try to reach through it.

MATT: It's stone, but you see that there's a seam from ceiling to floor there, and the stone where that portion of the wood wall is placed in is a little bit forward comparison to the rest.

SAM: The wall behind the painting.

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: Has a little? (gasps)

MARISHA: Right?

SAM: Okay, okay, move the painting away.

MARISHA: Okay, all right.

SAM: We're going to push the, oh, sorry. I'll wait until you're done.

MARISHA: There's so much stuff in, I'll put it in the sink behind the bowls.

SAM: That's where paintings should go. I'm going to push against the wall and see if it opens.

MATT: It does not move.

SAM: I'm going to pull the seam.

MATT: Okay, you pull the seam best you can. As you do you see the base of the floor, where where the wall and the floor hit, the wall seems to shift upward a little bit. With a few of you helping, you can get underneath it. It actually pulls upward into the ceiling. (gasping)

SAM: It's a DeLorean.

MATT: Yeah, it's the DeLorean wall, straight up. As you pull it up, there is a roughly-hewn staircase that descends and then curves around to the right, into darkness below.

TRAVIS: Wait, wait! I'm totally silent! Let me check it out.

SAM: We'll wait.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I go down with my...

SAM: Wait, is everybody here? Everybody here? We found it! Okay.

TRAVIS: Silent boots going down the... Do I see any traps on this fucking roughly-hewn staircase?

MATT: Make an investigation check.

TRAVIS: Goddamn, like soldering iron or something?

MARISHA: How many stairs has Chetney fallen down? Two, three?

TRAVIS: (shouts) Fuck!

LIAM: Steep stairs are Chet's worst enemy.

TRAVIS: Nine.

MATT: Nine, okay.

LIAM: Roll that d100.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: The stairs do not appear to be trapped.

SAM: Oh.

TRAVIS: Orym, you go first. (laughter)

LIAM: And I do, still invisible.

SAM: I'm going to feel around for little Orym and Guidance.

LIAM: Guidance, okay. I'm going to stealth so we don't catch a 2x4 to the face. Is that at advantage because invisible?

MATT: For stealthing?

LAURA: Stealthing?

LIAM: Stealth, yeah.

MATT: For being seen, yes. If you're trying to be quiet, being heard does not.

LIAM: Okay, well, 14.

MATT: 14, okay.

LIAM: Are you coming on my six?

TRAVIS: Yeah, I've got one hand on your shoulder.

LIAM: We're two invisible guys. One of us smoking.

MARISHA and MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: My hand got...

MATT: The two of you descend down. Do both of you have darkvision?

TRAVIS: I do.

MATT: You do.

LIAM: I don't think I do.

SAM: Oh no.

MATT: All right, so you descend into a space with no light.

LIAM: I'm just listening.

MATT: You're just listening carefully. The stairs, continuing, curve to the right and there's a small opening at the bottom of the stairs that leads into a basement-like chamber that is lightless.

LIAM: Lightless.

TRAVIS: How's that smell?

MATT: You can definitely smell a stronger scent of humanoid sweat. As you step in, being as quiet as you think you can possibly be, a voice goes... "I heard something. Do it! Now!" And something... You watch as a skull gets tossed from far back in the chamber. It hits the ground and rolls in front of both of you. Where it stops to look up at you, it's jaw open and its eyes brightly flash. An incredibly white, searing light. Both of you need to make constitution saving throws--

MARISHA: Oh shit.

SAM: Oh boy.

TRAVIS: Is this against magic? Doesn't matter.

MATT: This is, yes.

TRAVIS: 19.

LIAM: 15.

MATT: 15, you are blinded.

LIAM: Okay, I was blind already.

MATT: Right, but now you are--

LIAM: Really blind.

MATT: -- really blinded for the next minute, while you avert your gaze for just a second. At that point, the skull light seems to coalesce back inside its space as it lies there motionless. As soon as that happens, a sense of fright comes over you. As long as you are blinded, you are also considered frightened.

LIAM: Okay, so I can't go any closer to the skull, or--?

MATT: Yeah, so the skull's right there in front of you, and you are unable to step into the room proper at the moment until you manage to shrug it off.

LIAM: Oh man, Chet, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man.

MATT: While this is happening, you look up at the direction where it came from. You can see two figures. One of them takes, there was a table back there, goes and shoves it over onto its side to form a barricade, right in front of the door past where the skull is. What are you going to do?

TRAVIS: (shouts) Everybody get down here! We are friends of, who the fuck are we friends of?

LIAM: If one of you is Ebenold Kai, please don't kill us, we've come a very long way from the Heartmoor Hamlet, we were sent by Roe Estani.

MATT: Make a perception, or sorry, a persuasion check as you hear them both quickly whispering, and one of them is pulling something out and reading it rapidly in front of them.

LIAM: 17.

TRAVIS: Perception check, you said?

MATT: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: Natural 20. (cheering)

MARISHA: Yes, yes, there it is.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: We're coming down.

MATT: All right, so the rest of you are starting to gather down the steps. As you're clattering behind, you're giving your speech out loud. You can see them nervously, one has... You don't see anything. You're shouting out, in your quivering voice here in the middle of the dark space beneath. Are you bringing a light source with you?

SAM: I'll turn on my eyes as light.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: I have darkvision.

LAURA: If I Dancing Lights, it'll drop his invisibility.

SAM: Yeah, I'll turn on lights.

LAURA: I'll just go off FCG.

SAM: I got high beams on.

MATT: Okay, as your lights come in here, and you finish this plea, you see as the table's impacted, one of them is currently quickly reading from a scroll. They have a pair of goggles or glasses over there and they're reading, as the other one, you see a half-elven woman is in the process of reading this scroll. Thick, black, shoulder-length hair, and is feverishly reading past, as a male halfling in his older years. Mostly balding, a gray-brown, wavy mop of hair over a ruddy-brown complexion, is currently looking over. "Wait, someone said my name."

MARISHA: Yes, hello, hello, we're friends.

LAURA: Professor Kai?

ASHLEY: Stop reading that thing.

MATT: The woman finishes reading the scroll, it burns, and you can see suddenly this dark corner of the room as you all bring your own light in, the far corner begins to alight in its own right. What you can see now is a large circle, about a 10-foot by 10-foot circle on the ground, of various glyphs and symbols, begins to brighten up.

LAURA: Are they going to teleport?

MATT: As it does, you can see the woman goes, "Now!"

MARISHA: No, no, no, no, no, no!

LAURA: Wait!

MATT: And runs into the circle, she vanishes.

MARISHA: I get in, too!

MATT: You go running in as well?

MARISHA: Yes!

MATT: Ebenold goes, "(yells)" and he runs into it and vanishes.

LAURA: I go, too!

MATT: All right, this is...

MARISHA: We got six seconds, right?

MATT: You got six seconds for everyone to follow behind. Are you all rushing in?

MARISHA: Let's fucking go.

TRAVIS and ASHLEY: Yeah!

LIAM: (screams) No, I'm not going that way! I'm not going that way!

LAURA: I just yank him.

MATT: Make contested strength checks.

LIAM: I can't. I'm afraid.

MATT: Yeah, I know. You can't go in there.

ASHLEY: I'm going to help. I'm going to help. I'm going to help you. We're both doing it.

MATT: All right, so advantage. Or you get advantage, or you both roll separately.

LAURA: You roll.

ASHLEY: I don't know if I'm stronger than you. You are, you've got to be stronger than me. I'm definitely not. (laughter)

SAM: Someone roll!

LAURA: Oh my god, okay, okay, okay.

MARISHA: Come on.

LAURA: Jesus Christ, no.

LIAM: But also super weak, so...

MATT: Yeah, so it's contested.

MARISHA: Come on!

LAURA: No, I rolled a six.

LIAM: I roll a three, so it's a three. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Wow.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay.

MATT: Team Tiddlywinks over here. (laughter)

MATT: In the brief minutes, as the rest of your team is vanishing, praying and diving into whatever this strange ritual circle is, in the middle of the room, as its energy begins to slowly fade before it closes, you begin screaming as they drag you over the skull, and you run towards the back-end of this room, before you rush into the circle, just as the final throes of its magical enchantment begin to fade. Vanishing in a flash of light.

LIAM: Aah!

MATT: That's where we're going to go to break.

LAURA: Where are we going?

MARISHA: What if we're going to the moon? I'm so excited.

TRAVIS: Yes, that's where we're going, to the moon. (laughter)

LAURA: What if they just took us straight back to Jrusar?

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

LAURA: Aw, fuck!

MATT: We'll find out shortly. In the interim, we're going to go to break, we'll see you back here in a few minutes. Hang tight.

Part II
MATT: And welcome back.

MATT: And welcome back. So, as the rest of you have stepped through this spontaneous, briefly-appearing--

LAURA: Oh my god.

MATT: -- circle of magic upon the floor and found yourselves, one-by-one, transported to someplace unknown. One-by-one (party members apparating) you all begin to emerge--

SAM: ♪ One-by-one ♪

MATT: -- into a darkly-lit shaded cavern where there's some odd, challenging to make out sources of firelight. A tall rocky ceiling rises above you, with black, obsidian-like stone, volcanic porous rock above.

LAURA: It feels like it's so real.

MATT: You can see a number of black chains that hang from the ceiling to carry lanterns that lie still with no breeze and cast some of that faint light into the room. The air immediately catches you, the smell of a sulfurish scent, like charcoal and burnt matter. Turning. (laughter)

MATT: I'm turning this to the non-Starz version.

SAM: It's Laura.

LAURA: No!

SAM: Laura tooted.

LAURA: Stop it!

MATT: The air, the temperature here, is also uncomfortably, not quite unbearably hot, but uncomfortably hot. Immediately, as you inhale as you take in your surroundings, you can feel your lungs fill with the hot air and sting for a moment. You already feel your body getting warm and sweat beginning to pool in some areas between your armor or clothing. You can see, in the middle of this, what you assume is the subterranean chamber, there is a slow, drifting channel of molten rock that lazily sits and moves through the center.

SAM: Where are we?

MARISHA: It's escaping.

MATT: An orange glow that emanates from it on that side of the room.

TRAVIS: Never good. Never good.

MATT: On the edges of this chamber, you can see gathered sections of tables, chairs, bits of furniture strewn about.

LAURA: We are. We are!

LIAM: Yes, we are.

MARISHA: From last campaign.

LAURA: Yes!

SAM: Wait, what?

LAURA: We are in the same fucking place.

MARISHA: Was that Estani's place?

LAURA: Yes, it was!

MARISHA: The Planewalker, Planewalker--

LAURA: Estani!

LIAM: Planerider Ryn?

LAURA: Oh, Planerider Ryn, that was--

MARISHA: Planerider Ryn. Planewalker Ryn.

LAURA: (gasps) That's who the girl is! That's who the female elf is!

MARISHA: Oh, that's totally fucking who it is!

SAM: Ashley's totally lost right now.

ASHLEY: Hey, what's happening? (laughter) I don't watch this show, so I don't know. (laughter)

MARISHA: Does it-- We wouldn't know. Never mind. That's metagaming shit.

MATT: You have no idea.

LIAM: Planerider Ryn is/was a tiefling.

MARISHA: Teacher.

LIAM: Tiefling.

MARISHA: Oh, tiefling.

LAURA: Oh, I thought it was that--

LIAM: But it could be a disguise. But it still feels like that place. We could let Matt talk.

MARISHA: That was on the fire plane, right?

LAURA: Yeah, it was on the fire plane.

LIAM: Yeah, it's the Elemental Plane of Fire, and there was furniture in a cavern.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah. Yeah!

MARISHA: Absolutely, and shelves, and it was a hideaway.

LAURA: Okay, shut up, shut up.

SAM: Is this where--

MARISHA: I'm sorry.

SAM: -- Nott's kid died?

LIAM: Yes.

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: Yes. That's what they're referring to.

ASHLEY: Oh, I was there. I was there.

MATT: That's what they're referring to, yeah.

ASHLEY: I was there.

SAM: That's what they're referring to, but we don't know.

MATT: No. But standing in the middle of this chamber, taking it in, you can see the two other figures that were fleeing from you before are standing about 30 or 40 feet from you across the chamber. The half-elven woman is in the process of loading a heavy crossbow bolt into a large crossbow that she's picked up off the wall--

LAURA: No, no, no, no, no.

MATT: -- as the young, not the young, the older male halfling is like, "Wait, wait, wait. (panting)" You see sweat off his brow. You can see his pronounced wide nose and bushy chin beard that gathers around the base of his shoulder-set head. You can see his button-up white shirt itself open a bit, the collar itself a bit stained and now soaked through with sweat already as he puts his hand out.

LIAM: We have a letter from Roe Estani! For you.

MATT: "Hold on. If I might inquire as to who you are and what is your involvement with Roe."

TRAVIS: I think you're still invisible.

LIAM: Quick question, am I invisible still?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: Yes.

LIAM: After all that? Okay. And I can't drop.

LAURA: I can drop it. I drop it.

MATT: (Orym re-appearing) "(gasps)"

LAURA: That's who was talking.

LIAM: Here's the letter.

SAM: What? No.

LIAM: Here's the letter.

SAM: He can't walk any closer, can he?

LIAM: Well, that was the skull.

LAURA: No, it was the---

SAM: Oh, okay, okay, okay. Thank god. (laughter)

LIAM: We're Bells Hells. We've come a very long way to find you.

MATT: You see the half-elven woman now has finished loading the crossbow bolt and is like, "(grunts)" picked it up and is just trying to hold it up, but doesn't seem to give you the air of a trained soldier.

SAM: Do you need help with that?

MATT: "(shushes) I've got it."

ASHLEY: It does look a little bit heavy.

LIAM: We're seeking the aid of the Grim Verity.

MATT: You see she drops it a bit and looks at him again, he looks back. Opens and takes the letter out. You all quietly sit in that stillness, that cross-stared reactionary position as he slowly reads through the letter. "(sighs)" Folds it up, wipes his forehead on his sleeve. "All right. Baryn, Baryn, put it down."

MARISHA: Baryn?

LAURA: Baryn?

MATT: "It's all right." She slowly lowers the crossbow. "Well, it was unexpected to have visitors not as aggressive as expected, I suppose." (crossbow fires) The crossbow bolt sticks into the rock and ricochets off. "(yells) Sorry, sorry. (chuckles)" Puts it down. You can now see she has these thick bottle lens glasses on the front of her face with this silver elven scrolling tattoos around the eyes, and slacks and green blouse. She just stands there, this twig of a woman. Looks to be in about her forties or so. The halfling rolls his sleeves up a bit and steps a bit forward. "Well, I am Professor Ebenold Kai, as you seem to be inquiring about. And," holds up the letter, "if you are indeed truthful in this, we could use friends in these extremely quickly closing times."

LAURA: Those Judicators in town, they were looking for y'all, weren't they?

MATT: "I can only assume so, yes."

LAURA: Were you the ones that took the--

MATT: "I was not, but Dr. Baryn," and looks back to her and she now steps forward, and she sets the crossbow off to the side. (Baryn) "Yes, I'm one of them."

SAM: One of them.

MATT: "There were three of us to begin with, actually."

LAURA: To begin with.

MATT: (Ebenold) "Bells Hells, you said?"

LIAM: Yes.

MATT: "Is that a communal name? Are you all known as Bells Hells?"

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

SAM: Yeah, we're together.

MATT: "Who's your appointed leader?"

SAM: Fearne.

MATT: "All right."

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: I'm still invisible.

MATT: Yeah. He's not even acknowledged you yet. (Baryn) "My name is Dr. Baryn Vestisho."

MARISHA: Dr. Baryn.

MATT: B-A-R-Y-N, Baryn.

LAURA: B-A, oh, wow.

MARISHA: B-A-R-Y-N?

ASHLEY: That's not how I spelled it.

LAURA: So wrong.

TRAVIS: Vestisho?

MATT: Vestisho. "I'm a doctor of Exandrian history out of Othanzia, specializing in research on the Founding and the Schism, and our most ancient of histories. Me and two compatriots had, in recent years, discovered a unique series of-- A trail, if you will, leading to some secret texts that have led us, unfortunately in the crosshairs of some of the more dangerous and powerful entities in Vasselheim. So. Yes, I do believe those Judicators are here because of us, looking for us."

LIAM: Boy, it's hard to know even where to begin. Where are we?

MATT: "Oh." Looks over back towards the halfling. (Ebenold) "We are currently in the abode of a compatriot of ours who has been extremely helpful and an ally to the Grim Verity for some time." You all watch as he points past you. As you all emerged and are looking towards them you glance over your shoulder, and in your fear and intensity, didn't take a moment to focus and notice there was a third figure in the room behind you.

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: As you turn, you immediately see--

SAM: Thordak.

MATT: Yes. (laughter)

MATT: A female tiefling.

MARISHA: (gasps)

LAURA: Ah!

MATT: Looks to be an older fifties, a deep, deep ruby red skin color, with this white, almost sky blue piercing eyes with a single black pupil dot in each. These horns that curl back and up in these two large pointed horns, about that size, to the back of the head.

LAURA: Sick.

MATT: This very, very short black hair that's cut just to the base of the skull with these gray streaks that comb down in two parts. She stands there in a combination of robes and some leather armor and is holding a particularly crooked wand in your direction. "Indeed, you have come to my abode uninvited, but seem to have some sort of business with some of my friends. So consider yourself, at the moment, not burned to a crisp."

LAURA: Apologies for the intrusion.

MATT: "Accepted so far."

SAM: You live here, in this lava place?

MATT: "It's one of my chosen places of research that I occasionally sleep in, so yes."

SAM: Okay, well, it's very nice. I mean, it's warm.

LAURA: Planerider?

LIAM: Planerider. Right.

MATT: "Thank you. I'm Ryn. Who are you and why are you here?"

SAM: We're Bells Hells.

MATT: "Right."

SAM: Came to find Professor Kai, and we've been on a search of sorts as well, following a trail, much like you and your friends have, that has led us to some real spooky stuff about the moon.

MATT: They exchange some glances. "I do apologize if I don't seem extremely eager and gracious at the sudden arrival of individuals that are unfamiliar, yet band about with bits of information that would easily get them and us killed. As a precaution, and please do understand," holding the wand out, they reach their hand out and as they begin to tug their finger into the air, you watch as from the lava on the far end of the chamber a flaming entity comprised of lava and flame begins to emerge from the center of the room and stands there and just looms, crackling (flames flare). "So--"

MARISHA: What's their name?

MATT: "Oh."

MARISHA: Do they have a name?

MATT: "This is Niles."

MARISHA and SAM: Niles.

TRAVIS and LAURA: Niles.

MATT: "Niles will destroy you if you make any fast movements."

SAM: Oh, great.

MARISHA: Oh.

SAM: Okay.

LIAM: And we're outside the city now?

MATT: "Oh, yeah. We're in the Elemental Plane of Fire. My apologies. I should have been specific here. A bit ways far from where I think you might've been before."

LAURA: Right.

MARISHA: Yes. As Orym and I'm sure Imogen-- That's Imogen, by the way, and that's Orym-- will probably tell you--

MATT: "There we go, real names. Real names."

MARISHA: Bells Hells is also a real name.

MATT: "Right, but I can't refer to each and every one of you as Bells Hells, Bells Hells, Bells Hells. That just feels a bit strange. A bit weird to me. I don't do well with organizational overarching titles. It's just a bit presumptuous."

MARISHA: We thought that would be easier. Anyway, I'm sure that they will tell you, we've had quite a few encounters with Ruidus and those who affiliate with it. This goes all the way back to Balan and Zeyar Lumas, the Lumas twins, and following the trail that they left behind. I see on your face, I struck a chord, didn't I?

TRAVIS: Strug-a-lug.

LAURA: I strug-a-lug.

MARISHA: Strug-a-loogaloo. (laughter)

MATT: As this figure, Ryn, glances over with a somewhat furrowed brow to the others, you see Ebenold places a hand to his chest.

MARISHA: Oh. Oh, apologies. I didn't mean to be insensitive.

MATT: (Ebenold) "They were too young to have been caught in the crossfire of our research. They were very bright and very intelligent, with a vibrant future ahead of them until we pulled them into this. So understand, there is some hard emotions."

LIAM: We know they're not the only ones, too. Anyone poking around too much on the subject of Ruidus.

MATT: "And why are you poking around? Is this worth the risk to you? Even you coming here. Who are you doing this for?"

LAURA: Several reasons, actually, but we've recently discovered that I was Ruidusborn and my mother was very much, is very much affected, as am I. Recently, more and more powers have been emerging, and more and more dreams have been happening. I know this all sounds--

MATT: Ebenold's eyes are going wide, and he looks back towards Dr. Baryn and says, "Is she an Exaltant?"

SAM: Exaltant?

LAURA: I don't know what that is.

MATT: Dr. Baryn steps forward. (Baryn) "In our research, there have been certain Ruidusborn who exhibit a particularly strong connection to the entity in the sky, and begin to... Well, as you describe, exhibit certain capabilities, or I believe so. This is a bit beyond my personal purview."

LAURA: I show them my arms.

MATT: Yeah. Ebenold steps forward and goes, "This is very much like some of the others, yes."

LAURA: Liliana Temult?

MATT: There's a look of recognition on Ebenold's face.

LAURA: You knew her?

MATT: "I did."

LAURA: You know her?

MATT: You see him now, more than ever, taking in your features and goes, "I assume you are her daughter. This makes a lot more sense now. Oh. (sighs) Ryn, Ryn. Keep Niles around, but there is no need for this much alarm for now." (Ryn) "Very well. I suppose welcome to my home and well, please do continue to talk, discuss amongst yourselves, I'm curious to hear."

MARISHA: Do we have any housewarming gifts?

ASHLEY: Well, let me see.

SAM: I could try to cook something.

MARISHA: I have all these leaves you gave me.

ASHLEY: I probably have something.

SAM: I mean, I could try to cook something real quick.

ASHLEY: I'm sure I have--

LAURA: I have A Taste of Tal'Dorei tankard.

SAM: Oh, okay. That's something. That's a good gift if they collect. The truth is, we all have questions, not just Imogen. I mean Imogen's are the most--

LAURA: No, yeah. Obviously it's not just about--

SAM: -- related. No, but we all have questions and many of those questions have led here. Boy, it would be great to get as many answers as we could, and also help you. You said there was three of you? Is it the three of you in this room or is there someone else as well?

MATT: At this point, Ebenold goes, "No, there are many members of the Verity."

SAM: Oh.

MATT: "Across Exandria, some who we have lost. But me and my compatriots here in the city have been helming the development of the Omen Archive for quite some time. This is where we encountered Liliana and others that are the same like over the years on our research. However, Ryn--" (Ryn) "Planerider Ryn, actually, is my full title here. I've seen many strange things, but what they're talking about is quite strange, quite strange, quite fascinating, but quite strange." (Ebenold) "Well, we have been compatriots for some time and Ryn has become more or less a member of the Grim Verity out of necessity in recent years as our interests have overlapped. Dr. Baryn, however--" and leads back and Dr. Baryn goes, (Baryn) "Me and my compatriots, pertaining to Ruidus, we have uncovered some upsetting inconsistencies in historical presentation. Please do understand, in telling you these things, you very much fasten yourselves to our fates as well, whatever dark path it might go."

LIAM: We've already dug pretty deep.

LAURA: Yeah, we've had several run-ins with Otohan Thull already.

MATT: "Right."

MARISHA: She killed me. Very, very intense.

MATT: "Right." Ebenold goes, "Well, the fact that you endured to come here says much of your capabilities. This does aid our fortune somewhat, I hope. Sorry about the rude encounter in my basement. I was uncertain who was--"

SAM: No, I mean, we were breaking into your house.

LIAM: Pretty understandable.

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: "Yeah. Anyway. Dr. Baryn." (Baryn) "Well, we discovered some inconsistencies and we spent years orchestrating a way to network and locate these texts on the sly. They were under such heavy guard, we knew that there was something more to them, more important at even the highest of Highbearers, the highest of clerics would not just disavow their knowledge of their existence, but would push us away at every turn, denying any such thing. One of my compatriots, Arnold Drot, was taken during the escape when we found and absconded with these texts, and is likely still in the Sanctuary's hands. My other compatriot, Janina, came with me to find and work with the Grim Verity, which Janina was already a member and was our entry point to their troop. Janina is currently offsite trying to gain information about the nexus site to the north of the city, but hoping that we had avoided the trail, and for some time seemed to have managed to have done so, had kept us on the up and up. But in recent months, there was a dust up in Ank'Harel with Judicators arriving and searching for us that spread to Bassuras and one of our compatriots, Hondir, apparently recently had his home destroyed. Most of our members had to scatter and keep running."

LAURA: How recently?

MATT: "A number of weeks back."

LAURA: Oh, all right. Right.

MATT: "So most of us are scattered about just for our own individual safety. We've been jumping between Ryn's abode here, and trying to contact and work as we can between there and Ebenold's basement and wherever abouts Ryn is willing to take us." Ryn goes, "Yes, you know. The wonderful the thing about magic is eventually you become everyone's transportation device."

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: "But no, really, I don't mind, I don't mind. This is really fun. It's quite enjoyable and a very strange, very intriguing series of mysteries, which keeps me embroiled and less frustrated."

LAURA: What brought you to this all, Planerider, if you don't mind me asking?

MATT: "Well, my research generally focuses around all things odd and astronomical, inter-planar oddness, inconsistencies in the way that different realities align, overlap, tear into each other, pull apart, and even just beyond the outer boundaries of Exandria and beyond. That's where some of us met in our various astronomical aspirations and philosophical debates. Anyway. I've discovered some strange inconsistencies in the way that the energies have been moving, the leylines, the magical powers that guide the patterns of energies across Exandria and through the different realms that overlap. This movement seemed to be incorporating with bursts of energy, that over time, the patterns seemed to coincide with these recurring flares of the moon Ruidus."

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "So when I began to ask around for specialists in Ruidus, eventually I was, through my contacts and allied compatriots on the higher ends of education sent me to find those who work on the Omen Archive, and that's how I met Ebenold here, and that's where I came to be here. Also, had found some strange abnormalities between the most-- The realms in proximity into Exandria, the Fey Realm being one, and the Shadowfell the other."

SAM: What's that?

MATT: "Constructions, things being built. There are, and I don't mean to alarm you, there are forces at work here that are delving into the coming apex of these powers, these energies. To what specific means, we only have our thoughts and possible ideas. But does that answer your question?"

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: And gave us 50 more.

LAURA: Can I turn back to Berlin, Baryn? (laughs)

MATT: Mm-hmm. To Berlin? You can go back to Berlin, if you want.

LAURA: Ber-Berlin. You read the texts that you stole?

MATT: (Baryn) "Yes. We've all studied them extensively here. We think it might be a very important key to what these other individuals are working towards."

LAURA: Did they say anything about a city?

MATT: "Nothing about a city."

LAURA: On Ruidus?

MATT: "No."

SAM: Oh.

LIAM: I guess we have some new information for you.

SAM: Your information is that there's powerful forces at work to try to focus and hone some sort of energies to the apex-- the Apogee Solstice?

MATT: "Mm, they're a bit learned, aren't they? Love it, love it. Okay. I apologize for talking down to you."

SAM: No, no.

MATT: "I'm just used to having to. But yes, the Apogee Solstice. Usually-- I've been so excited for some time for it to come, but it's getting complicated. Yes, yes. There are these-- How familiar are you with the Cerberus Assembly?"

SAM: Oh, we've--

LIAM: We know a little.

SAM: One or two of us have heard of it, right?

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Yeah, they're the, part of the--

LAURA: We stole some stuff from them by accident. Purposely by accident.

MATT: "Oh."

MARISHA: From Otohan and her gang.

LIAM: They kind of run Wildemount.

LAURA: Yeah, and they're working with Otohan Thull.

MATT: "Indeed they are."

MARISHA: Also this, I mean, he's kind of attractive, person named the Nightmare King.

MATT: They all look a bit befuddled by that. Not quite sure what that means.

SAM: Ira.

MARISHA: Ira...

LIAM: Glass.

MARISHA: Glass. (laughs)

MATT: Ryn gives a coy smile and goes--

LIAM: Wendagoth.

MARISHA: Wendagoth! That's right!

MATT: "I think I know who you're talking about, by reputation, not personal interaction. But they're woven into this as well? That's interesting."

MARISHA: Apparently, yes.

LAURA: For their own gains.

MARISHA: Exactly. More of a hired hand helping with--

MATT: She gestures with her finger and a nearby chair scoots over, flips around and she sits in it--

SAM: Oh no, the chairs and the tables are alive!

MATT: The back of the chair facing her--

ASHLEY: It was you!

LAURA: That's how this started!

MATT: As Planerider Ryn rests her arms over the top, her giant horns curled up from behind. She goes, "Do go on."

SAM: Oh, well that fella was helping some other folks--

TRAVIS: The Unseelie Court.

SAM: -- make a device--

LAURA: The Unseelie Court.

SAM: -- to see into the sky to see Ruidus.

MATT: "So you've seen these devices as well?"

SAM: You've seen it or one?

MATT: "I've seen two of them."

MARISHA: Well, we actually have been to Hondir's hideout in Bassuras.

MATT: "Mm. Technically that's a third one."

LAURA: Mm.

MARISHA: Oh! Then there was one in the towers in Jrusar, that we saw it for like a minute before the whole thing exploded.

LAURA: Right.

MARISHA: Which wasn't our fault.

LAURA: The one in Bassuras, we saw with that--

ASHLEY: With the glass.

LAURA: With the glass from the Feywild.

LIAM: Lens, which we have.

ASHLEY: Wait a minute.

LAURA: Had.

SAM: But we broke.

LIAM: But we mended it.

SAM and LIAM: But it doesn't work.

LAURA: But it doesn't work anymore.

SAM: Anyway, we had this special magical glass that helped go into this device that let them see up to Ruidus, and you guys looked through and saw a city.

LAURA: We saw a city.

MATT: "Yes, more of that, please."

LAURA: And a woven net of magic.

SAM: It was holding something in or keeping something out.

MATT: "One or the other. That would be divine lattice work. Okay, okay. All right, this is-- I'm pleased that we didn't find ourselves completely impeded by dullards. This is delightful. All right."

MARISHA: Oh, by chance, that text.

MATT: "Mm."

MARISHA: That you've read from Vasselheim?

MATT: "Oh, oh, I won't take that away. Please, Dr. Baryn." Dr. Baryn goes, "Yes, of course. So within these tomes, some of the oldest that exist on Exandria, if not the oldest books on record. First off, they speak of two deities that have been forgotten by history, that existed in the pantheon long ago. One was referred to as Ethedok."

SAM: Oh, we got names!

MATT: "The Endless Shadow."

LAURA: Ethedok.

LIAM: Eh-e-dok.

LAURA: I'm spelling that wrong.

MATT: E-T-H-E-D-O-K.

LAURA: Damn.

LIAM: The Endless Shadow.

MATT: "The Endless Shadow. And Vordo, the Fateshaper."

TRAVIS: Vordo.

MARISHA: The Fateshaper?

MATT: Yes.

LIAM: Is that with an A or an O?

MATT: Vordo.

LIAM: Voldo?

MATT: V-O-R-D-O.

LIAM: Oh, Vordo.

TRAVIS: Ah, two for two. Let's go!

LIAM: Vordo, the, what was it again? I'm sorry.

MATT: "The Fateshaper."

LIAM: Fateshaper.

MARISHA and LAURA: Vordo.

MATT: "Ethedok oversaw the... Certain gods have different focuses, different realms that they put their will over and guide and shape within all of Exandria's unique weave of power and influence. Ethedok was the god of darkness and winter, and Vordo was the god of fate and order. Now, that was already disconcerting enough, but this historical text also gave proof that Ruidus didn't exist for a time. It's not that it didn't just not exist, but it was created by the gods. The texts speak of an era during the Founding where the gods showed fear. Something from beyond the stars that they recognized arrived here.

LAURA: (gasps)

MATT: "They called it Predathos.

SAM: Pregathos.

LAURA: Predathos.

LIAM: Dathos.

SAM: Predathos.

TRAVIS: I just got goosebumps.

MATT: "This Predathos resisted their miracles and hunted them."

MARISHA: Oh fuck. Oh fuck!

MATT: "Spawning its own twisted life in its wake as it did."

LAURA: Wait, Predathos was one entity or was it several?

MATT: "As far as the texts go, I have no confirmation. But it is said that it devoured Ethedok.

SAM: Oh.

LAURA: (gasps)

MATT: "And then Vordo."

LAURA: (gasps) Oh.

SAM: It's a god eater?

MATT: "The texts then speak of an accord between the gods and the Primordial Titans to carve a prison from Exandria itself--

LAURA: (gasps)

MATT: "-- to seal away Predathos and send it away into the endless darkness above. It seems the prison, however, clung to our world and hung in the sky as a new moon. Our theory is that in attempting to erase this known history, surrounding this prison with an air of superstition and cursed tidings, it would dodge enough interest to ever really become a danger again. That has worked for eons, to their credit. However, I would be inclined to let this sit if it means the safety of all, if it weren't for this growing rise in Ruidus flare activity that we've been, they have been studying. It leads me to believe that something is about to happen. Attempts to bring this to the attention of the Highbearers and the top clerics and priests, whatever they call themselves, have been met with extreme prejudice, denial, and now moves to silence us. They fear what we know almost as much as they fear losing the faith of their followers, of their societies. So this is what we know, and this is what you now know as well. Congratulations, you are tethered to cursed knowledge with us."

LIAM: What all do you know about Thull?

MATT: "Not more than what I've been told by the Verity." Ebenold steps forward a bit, and sits onto the ground. "Thull is a extremely dangerous soldier, which, if you've encountered them, in the ways that you said, you would know firsthand. What I do understand is that they were once an extremely pious entity, when they were at the height of their time as a soldier. They continuously spoke as they walked in the path of the Matron, the Duskmaven. Then when the war finished, from what we've come to try and learn, it seems she may have lost her faith."

MARISHA: Or found a new one.

MATT: "Perhaps. But what a soldier of her background wants with this sort of business is as confuddling as it is worrying. She's one who we've come to believe is like you, an Exaltant, a scion. We think that is she's come in to her powers. She's also been embracing these dreams, been embracing this pull to the red moon. They're all gathering, the Ruidusborn."

LAURA: That's who I've seen. She's building an army.

MATT: "From all over of Exandria. Many don't know why, but they spend their life savings to charter ships. They're all coming here. They've been for months."

SAM: "Here" meaning Yios, or just this continent, or--?

MATT: "Marquet."

SAM: To join with Thull specifically, or just join together with each other?

MATT: "I don't know specifically, but from our research through the Omen Archive for quite some time, these dreams, these portents, we can only assume with this recent information that was acquired that there is something this Predathos is creating anchors to this world in forms of you."

SAM: Forms of what?

MATT: "You."

LAURA: So my powers come from that entity.

MATT: "We have no confirmation 100%, but we have long theorized whatever is behind the Moon of Ill-Omen is also behind these latent capabilities that you and Liliana and Otohan exhibit. While not every Ruidusborn does become Exaltant, those that do have seemingly been drawn to this place, this valley to the north and they're all coming in droves now."

SAM: To the Hellcatch?

MATT: "Mm-hmm."

SAM: Ooh boy.

LAURA: Do you know where my mother is?

MATT: "I assume she's there. She was a--"

LAURA: She's working with Thull?

MATT: "She was an incredible subject when we were creating

MATT: "She was an incredible subject when we were creating and forming the archive. She was our first true study-able example of an Exaltant. We were able to conduct so many experiments with her. She was a forthright volunteer. She grew frustrated with her inability to give the answers she sought and Otohan found her as did the Assembly. And I think her... her personal need for answers overrode her judgment. I'm sorry."

LAURA: It's making more sense now.

LIAM: Thull and her army and her friends in the Assembly and the Unseelie Court have spilled a lot of blood as they work towards whatever it is they're working toward. We're all personally invested without really having much of a big picture here. What do you three intending to do?

MATT: "Well, I'm a professor and she is a doctor, but she," and they point to Planerider Ryn. (as Ryn) "I'm a doer. I make things happen. I make things get weird."

SAM and LAURA: (laugh)

MATT: "So with their knowledge, their trust, some friends,

MATT: "So with their knowledge, their trust, some friends, I think we want to make things weird for these people. For your mom, sorry. So Otohan, whatever they're doing out there, trying to free Predathos, control Predathos, destroy Predathos, whatever it is, I don't like it. I don't trust it. Kind of want to stop it. How about you all?"

SAM: Yeah.

LIAM: Yes, ma'am.

SAM: Yeah, I think whatever it is, it does not bode well for a lot of people who we care about. Yeah, the seven of us definitely want to help.

ASHLEY: There's someone that's not here, but.

MATT: "I was trying to do the math on that one."

LAURA: A friend of ours got left in Yios. Are we going to be going back to Yios?

SAM: Another friend of ours is close also, but not super close. Maybe, I don't really know what to say about him.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: Ryn looks right over and goes, "that one?"

SAM: Oh, okay, you can see him!

ASHLEY: Oh, oh, oh.

TRAVIS: (poof) Uh! It was so hard to find you. Hello, Planerider.

SAM: Oh, were you searching for a while?

TRAVIS: Yes, I'm Planewalker Chetney.

MARISHA and SAM: (laugh)

TRAVIS: I used to ride, but not at this age. (laughter)

SAM: You have a plane-walker.

LIAM: It's just a plain old walker. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Hell of a spot you picked here with all the lava and stuff.

SAM: You could see him the whole time?

MATT: "Oh yeah, I just wanted to see what he would do."

SAM: What was he doing?

MATT: "Mainly just touching himself."

LAURA: Yeah! (laughter) (laughter)

ASHLEY: Wait, so I have a question. So you said Imogen's mom, she was one of your first subjects that you would study?

MATT: (Ebenold) "Well, we studied many Ruidusborn over the years since we began to notice this increasing frequency of flares. Like we knew, have been studying its mysteries for quite some time. Many have over the years, but it wasn't until this past decade or so that the Ruidusborn number began to increase almost exponentially. It was a very rare thing for a very long time. Then in just the past five years, we've cataloged nearly 200 and that's just the ones that came to us or the ones we sought out from rumors and hearsay. Liliana was the first to show these advanced properties."

ASHLEY: Well, I think Imogen

ASHLEY: Well, I think Imogen has some pretty advanced properties, because she kind of blew out a whole block of buildings and things.

MATT: "Is that so?" Planerider's like, "(laughs) Oh!"

LAURA: I, you know, wasn't fully aware of it.

ASHLEY: But that's the thing. Do you know how to make her aware of it? Have you guys been studying these types of things to sort of hone in on it?

MATT: (Ryn) "This is a little out of my purview, How about you, doctor, professor?" and Ebenold goes, "We can try, we can work on it a bit. We don't have a terribly large amount of time with the solstice mounting, but if we feel this is, if you indeed exhibit similar capabilities to your mother, it might be worth attempting to hone it a bit."

LAURA: I blew out a city by myself. A block, decimated.

MATT: "Intentionally?"

LAURA: No.

MATT: "See that is what makes it dangerous."

LAURA: No, I fully understand that. They've got an entire army of that.

ASHLEY: Are you sure it wasn't intentional?

LAURA: I didn't, it just happened, Fearne, after Laudna, it just happened.

MATT: "Well, the good news is, what you are capable of is extremely rare. I do not think they have an army. If they did, the Grim Verity would not have been able to do most of what it's been capable of doing within the past year or two. Maybe I can go through my notes when I worked with your mother, and we can can run some exercises, I don't know, I don't train people to do mind things. Ryn?" Ryn like, "We can probably have some discussion, set up some, I don't know, some practice dummies, I don't..."

LAURA: All right.

MATT: "I got some ideas."

MARISHA: Are any of you affected by the moon?

SAM: Oh no!

LAURA: (laughs)

SAM: Oh no!

MATT: "No, no, no, I'm just like you. I'm not unique enough to have been touched by the red moon, but I have some skills of my own that I think it will get me along just fine."

MARISHA: Oh, I can tell!

TRAVIS: (sucking)

MARISHA: (screams)

TRAVIS: Oh, thank you, thank you so much. I'm catching up now.

MARISHA and MATT: (laugh)

TRAVIS: Predathos, you said ate Ethedok and Vordo, would it be fair to say that Ethedok, being the Endless Shadow, darkness and winter, that's kind of a negative connotation. Would they be more of the Betrayer God aligned and Vordo was one of the more Prime Deities?

MATT: Dr. Baryn goes, "That is an astute observation. We have no confirmation in these earlier stages, especially during the earliest founding, there was less of a division. The Schism really helped to find that divide. Even amongst that divide, it is not a binary, it is a very messy network of winning philosophies and losing philosophies, really. But at this time, they all just kind of worked together. But imagine, imagine, imagine something that the gods feared so much."

TRAVIS: Oh yeah, no, it's all fucking terrible. I'm just trying to think of the 50/50 splitter, if it's leaning one way more than the other.

SAM: But you said Predathos ate them, right?

SAM: But you said Predathos ate them, right?

TRAVIS: Consumed them.

MATT: "The translations of the text, that's the closest we have, yes."

SAM: You also said that a piece of Exandria was taken and used to make this prison up there?

LAURA: That's the city.

SAM: Well, that could be the whole thing, but what piece of Exandria did they take? Like imagine Exandria's like a pie, which part of the pie did they break off?

MATT: "Unfortunately, there isn't any specifics to it, but--"

TRAVIS: A pie, a flat pie?

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: Fuck.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

SAM: Yeah, yeah, but-- So they had to take a piece of the pie and put it up there, like we don't know from whence...

MATT: "The texts are extremely early and do not go into detail. The best that we've surmised is that there, perhaps there was a continent that no longer is, that is now what makes up the moon."

SAM: A continent?

TRAVIS: Holy shit.

LIAM: And what about--

SAM: Wow!

LIAM: This city, do you have any idea--

MATT: "No!"

LIAM: -- why it's there, who lives in it?

MATT: "Well, best we can understand--"

SAM: A continent?!

MARISHA: Yeah, a lost continent.

MATT: "Ebenold, do you have any--" Ebenold, you can see, he's been sitting there, thinking, goes--

MARISHA: What's on the other side of the world? We don't know.

MATT: "To be entirely honest, the idea of this city is new information to us. But there are some notes here that say that as Predathos went about its hunting, that it left some forms of twisted life in its wake. Perhaps, it's continued to do so within its prison."

MARISHA: Oh fuck.

SAM: It made life forms?

MARISHA: Left twisted life in its wake.

SAM: Wow.

LAURA: That's all the text said? Twisted life?

MATT: "That is the translation."

SAM: Predathos is a super cool name, don't get me wrong. Did the texts mention any other names that he goes by?

MATT: "No. That was the only one."

SAM: Or it goes by, they go by.

MARISHA: Like the Hungry One?

SAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: The All-Consuming.

SAM: Something a little catchier, snappier, easier to say.

MARISHA: The Void of the--

ASHLEY: The tagline.

MARISHA: -- of Darkness.

MATT: "No, it was the only text that even refers to it."

SAM: It's just Predathos?

MATT: "Yes."

SAM: Okay.

ASHLEY: So where--

MARISHA: Maybe we could give him some nicknames.

SAM: Datho, I don't know, it's just something.

MARISHA: Whaddup, Dathy!

ASHLEY: Where did this Predathos come from? Just elsewhere?

MATT: "Presumably wherever the rest of the gods came from, or somewhere beyond that even."

MARISHA: But he wasn't considered a god? He was some other older being?

LIAM: God-proof entity.

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: "The deities came here and founded Exandria and with the Primordial Titans, built what it was to be before they themselves fought over its dominion. But the gods founded, from their perspective, from elsewhere, where that is--"

MARISHA: Found?

TRAVIS: Founded.

MATT: "Founded."

MARISHA: Founded?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: "We all can have our own philosophical debates on what came before that, where they came from."

SAM: This is pre-Calamity, mid-Calamity?

MATT: "This is far before the Calamity. This is the beginning of history."

MARISHA: The Founding and shit.

LAURA: That's what I said.

MARISHA: Something else you mentioned that I find fascinating is, Ryn, you said that there were weird inconsistencies happening with the Fey Realm and the Shadowfell.

MATT: (Ryn) "Yes, yes. So these Assembly folks, them and Otohan, they've been building matching devices, both in the Shadowfell and the Fey Realm at the same exact place where the planes overlap to this nexus."

LAURA: Have they been doing it in the Fey Realm as well?

MATT: "Mm-hmm."

MARISHA: Which would be the thing that your mom and dad--

ASHLEY: Were working on, yeah.

TRAVIS: The Seelie Court.

ASHLEY: Wait, you said that there were three of these? So there's the--

TRAVIS: Shadowfell, Fey Realm and the one we saw.

SAM: The Shadowfell is a place like this, like this lava place where we are, but elsewhere?

MATT: "Kind of. If the Fey Realm is a weird, dreamy, nightmare nature veil over Exandria that mirrors it in some ways, but is also its own unique improvised interpretation of the world that you know and love, the Shadowfell is very much the same thing, but if it was much darker and gothic and hated life in itself. Not a fun place."

TRAVIS: Horrible.

MATT: "Don't recommend it. But those are the two planes that are closest. They sandwich right around Exandria."

SAM: Like on top of Exandria, there and there.

MATT: "Yeah."

TRAVIS: Yeah, pastels.

MATT: "More of a round."

SAM: So like a--

MATT: "Like a--"

SAM: A burger.

MATT: "So the site in question--"

LAURA: I mean, they are planes.

MATT: "The one that we're talking about, the one that everyone's walking towards, it's north of Yios."

MARISHA: Okay, because, all right. I'm just trying to work it all out. We saw the one that-- Hotis? What's his name?

ASHLEY: Hondir?

MARISHA: Hondir, thank you.

TRAVIS: Hotis?

MARISHA: I'm just saying.

LIAM: That's a different story.

MARISHA: Too many campaigns. Rakshasa!

SAM: Ah!

MARISHA: We saw the one that Hondir made, his little fancy telescope, and super sexy Nightmare King guy was helping him. Nightmare King was also making the one in the Fey Realm that Fearne's parents over here saw and then stole from and it was a big deal. Then the other thing that I'm trying to wrap my head around is Otohan and her army are traveling around, dropping in and out of shadows and materializing as dark figures and then they just--

SAM: Killing people and then disappear.

MARISHA: Then they just dematerialize.

MATT: "Hmm."

MARISHA: So I just don't know if maybe they're there for a second or it's like--

SAM: Then going into this Shadow Realm--

MARISHA: Shadow Realm to maybe bamf in and out in quick transport by jumping realms. Does that make sense?

MATT: "I mean, it can make sense. It's an interesting theory. It's not impossible. I mean, there are--"

MARISHA: I'm just spit-balling here.

LAURA: How hard is it to jump planes or realms?

TRAVIS: Not hard.

SAM and MARISHA: (laugh)

MATT: "For some, maybe."

ASHLEY: Planerider Chet.

MATT: "I generally have made a habit of it. There's a few shortcuts here and there if you know where to walk. But not terribly easy for the common man, even the uncommon man. In fact, it's universally considered to be fairly challenging."

TRAVIS: Yeah.

ASHLEY: I bet. I bet.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "But!"

MARISHA: Also, is there anything-- I'm sorry, this is partially Marisha working it out, but is there anything to be said that this Predathos--

TRAVIS: (mouth farts) (laughter) (laughter)

MARISHA: He ate the Endless Shadow and the Fateshaper, a god person. They didn't, those pillars still exist? Did they get sucked into Predathos or is that just gone now? Those gods are just gone?

MATT: "Your guess is as good as ours."

MARISHA: Yeah, that's fair.

MATT: "Mind you, darkness, winter, fate, order, those were then disseminated amongst the existing gods, the Matron of Ravens is currently the goddess of fate and winter, so they got scattered around a bit with the absence of previous entities. But who knows what happened. Maybe they're all still out there. Maybe they're still being digested, maybe they're still screaming in his stomach. I don't know. I don't know."

SAM: Wow.

LIAM: Can I jump out of the narrative for a second? When this prison or whatever it is was created was back closer to the Founding, it was pre-Divergence, pre-Calamity, correct?

MATT: Oh yeah.

LIAM: Way, way, way before?

MATT: This tome is some of the earliest text that ever existed in the history in Exandria.

LIAM: Right, right. So way before whoever the human woman is who offed, or did something to the previous god of death.

MATT: Yes.

LIAM: Way before that?

MATT: Oh yeah. Whoever became the Matron of Ravens was not terribly long before the Calamity kicked off.

LIAM: Right. Right.

LAURA: Right, right, right, right, right, right.

LIAM: That's part of the--

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: "So this site in the north of Yios, it's been an interesting point in my research. To no one's surprise, it happens to overlap with an excavation research site that was commandeered by the Cerberus Assembly, not but three months ago. So this site I've myself been studying, it's an excavation site of ruin that has been reclaimed by the dusts of the valley. From what I could gather, it was a focus site for a solstice many, many, many centuries ago. Which helps my theory that leylines actually shift over eons in a slow but cyclical pattern. Meaning as they move, it's not randomized. There is an actual cycle to how these things move, very slow, very expanded period of time. But this is a theory I've had for a long time, and it was very exciting to find some ways to find proof of this. Now, mind you--"

LAURA: I'm getting Jeff Goldblum vibes.

LIAM: Jeff Goldblum vibes, yeah.

LAURA: Yeah, Jeff Goldblum vibes.

MATT: "So the focus--"

LIAM: Yes yes yes, yes.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: "Focus, when I say that, I mean it was constructed to be a lighting rod of sorts. Once before when it was a nexus as well, it could be a channeling point for this solstice energy. It seems to have ties to the long dead pre-Arcanum Tishtan culture, which there's not much known about them. They were were once a nomadic, magic-obsessed society that traveled across Exandria during the time of the Schism, building small monuments and ritual sites for purposes that we're still trying to figure out. Not a whole lot of information about them, but it's really interesting, they mysteriously vanished. We have a little record kept and, I mean, why wouldn't you want to study that? That's great, that's what puts you in school. That's what puts you through school. That's what makes good books, you write good reports and get awards for that kind of stuff. But anyway, this site's been one excavation point by the Seminary for the better part of the past five years. Then spontaneously about three months ago, the Assembly showed up and began to.. Oh, how did you put it?" Then Ebenold goes, "They bullied their way into our studies. A deal was struck with the leadership of the Assembly, the leadership of the Seminary and the Assembly. Given the recent rumblings of the Stratos tensions, wishing not to get on the bad side of a foreign power on that scale of influence and capability, the Court of the Lambent Path and the Seminary agreed to allow the Assembly to oversee the excavation site as a loose partnership. But it seems now the Assembly has slowly taken hold over the majority of the operation and barring much of the Seminary members from directly delving at the site in recent weeks. That is where Janina has gone to investigate as well.

SAM: Janina.

LAURA: Got it. The other person that went to get the tomes. So that's around the same time that you left the Seminary? I'm assuming.

MATT: "Mm-hmm. The only one of us that's still currently working there is..." Takes a moment to think over it, and glances over. "Who--"

LAURA: Kadija Sumal?

MATT: "Indeed. One of our other Omen Archive compatriots. The rest of us decided to go into hiding for our own safety."

LAURA: She's just there?

MATT: "She's the least publicly connected to our troop. It is best that we have at least one public facing individual that can keep an ear to the ground where we cannot. So that is what she's doing."

SAM: But she's not Grim Verity?

MATT: "She is."

SAM: She is, but secretly?

MATT: "Most of us are secretly of Grim Verity, but she's been the most research-driven publicly over time and the least involved in these sort of goings on. We keep her at arm's length intentionally for her own safety."

LAURA: All right.

MATT: "I know this is a lot of information to take in."

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: "What do you wish to do?"

LAURA: Stop them.

SAM: You know exactly where they're gathering or is it just the Hellcatch Valley? Because we were told there was a few different possible places. The Panagrip Sands, the ocean north of the Oderan Wilds, the Hellcatch Valley. Do you know exactly where they're gathering?

MATT: "We know where the site is, yes."

SAM: But it's only one of three sites. It's the only one on this plane.

MATT: "It is. They overlap each other in the exact spot on each plane."

SAM: And we don't have an army.

MATT: "No."

SAM: We're just Bells Hells plus you and some other professors.

TRAVIS: And a Planerider and a Planewalker.

SAM: True.

MATT: The Planerider leans back in the chair, but holding onto the front. (Ryn) "I have a few friends that I can call in to maybe help once I give them the low down of some of the bad things that are happening. If you have any compatriots or anyone you want to call in favors on, things are getting a little hairier in the next few weeks. So, you know, now's the time to call in a favor if you got one."

SAM: But is it just going to be-- We don't even know who we're dealing with. It's Otohan, her followers.

LAURA: It's a lot.

SAM: The Nightmare King. You saw numbers?

LAURA: I mean, I saw--

MATT: "If you went in with an army, it's going to cause a stir. So don't go in with an army." Ebenold goes, "After all, you've gotten this far as a small group. If we have a number of small groups going in individually, that gives us opportunities to distract from each other, that gives us opportunities to infiltrate, maybe, to try and get in unseen, unnoticed. In a full-on assault, especially with the Assembly, possibly, at the core of this, I feel that will end very poorly."

TRAVIS: Yeah, plus we have somebody on the inside we can take advantage of.

SAM: Who?

LAURA: My mom. I can try. Every time I've tried to reach out, she's shut me down.

SAM: Well, wasn't Otohan trying to get you to join as well?

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Double agent.

SAM: You could, but that's super dangerous, and you're already a fragile soul.

MARISHA: What? She's very capable!

ASHLEY: She could do it. She could totally do it.

SAM: No, no, no, I know she can, but I mean--

TRAVIS: FCG!

SAM: I'm talking about her emotional health!

LAURA: I'm fine! I'm fine. I know I cry a lot. Look, I know. (laughs)

ASHLEY: She goes to sleep every night crying, but it's okay.

LAURA: Yeah, but it's fine, because you know what? I'm not going to do that anymore, I'm strong. I'm a strong, independent woman.

SAM: Of course you're a strong, independent woman--

TRAVIS: ♪ You're a survivor, you're not going to give up ♪

SAM: You're strongest when you're with us, and if you're not, then I would just be worried about you, is all.

LIAM: Well, I think when we got started with all this, we had a lot of personal stakes. A lot of good people were dying for no good reason. Now we all know this is a lot bigger than that even.

MARISHA: When you talk about these infiltrations, do you mean Fey Realm and Shadowfell to where these machines are? Is that what you are referring to?

MATT: "Whatever makes sense for the plan. I'm a researcher."

MARISHA: If they're just building these telescopes and--

TRAVIS: Well, I don't think they're telescopes. That's the big question is what do the machines do?

MARISHA: What are they?

TRAVIS: Are they going to pull it down, break it apart, send it up, send them to the moon? What's it do?

MARISHA: Because we can't fight an army. We can't. But we can maybe sabotage whatever those are.

TRAVIS: Fellow rider Ryn, you've seen these machines. Do you know or have any idea what they do? Are they a transport, a weapon, a device to push or pull?

MATT: (Ryn) "I haven't got a close look. It's been a bit well-guarded. But from a distance, what I can tell, they have--

LAURA: ♪ From a distance ♪

MATT: "They definitely have some unique planar projector or tether aspect to it I can't quite point out. I don't know if they're trying to punch through the realms, trying to fold them together or if they're trying to, like you said, pull it down, destroy it, break it open. It could be all sorts of things. It's the kind of thing that, well, if we had somebody on the inside or somebody we could interrogate properly, we could pull from within, that would be some fine information to have, don't you think?"

TRAVIS: It would, and I think we know that the Unseelie Court is in the Fey Realm, and they're all twisted up in one of those machines. The Cerberus Assembly is fucking around in our realm. But the Shadowfell--

MARISHA: Who is in the Shadowfell?

TRAVIS: Do you know who's messing about in that place?

MATT: "Mm, not a whole lot of organized social contracts to be written in the Shadowfell. Best that I could tell is that the Assembly has built a little more--" You watch as she smiles a bit. "-- ramshackle, less well-guarded portion of their plan."

TRAVIS: Ooh, that might be our point of--

MARISHA: The first part.

TRAVIS: -- attack.

LIAM: You asked what we were going to do. We know they're going to do something soon. We know that it's going to be big and we know that's going to be bad. This was personal before, but we got to figure it out now.

LAURA: We got to get there.

MARISHA: We're starting with this dimension?

TRAVIS: Well--

MARISHA: The ramshackled one.

TRAVIS: If the Cerberus Assembly, just my take, if they have their hands on two of the three machines--

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: -- and if you want to push on your mom, that might help us get to the Shadowfell or attack at least one point of the three, weaken one of the three legs. This realm, I think those odds are a little more against us.

LAURA: What about the Fey Realm?

TRAVIS: I don't know. Well, yeah.

ASHLEY: We could always ask my--

LAURA: Didn't you have some powerful entities that can help us there?

ASHLEY: I mean, we could always ask my Nana, my grandmother, who's not my grandma. I don't know. She's my grandmother. She raised me. I love her. Um. We could ask her for help, for sure. She's pretty strong.

TRAVIS: Are you tight with the Unseelie Court or no?

ASHLEY: Um...

TRAVIS: Aren't you like a princess?

ASHLEY: I mean, sure. That's what my grandmother always called me, so--

LAURA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Just your grandmother?

ASHLEY: Um, yes.

TRAVIS: Mm.

ASHLEY: But, I mean--

LAURA: I want to insight check her so bad.

ASHLEY: Um... I think we could probably ask her for some help. Her name's Morri and, um, she deals with fate a little bit, I think. I think they call her the Fatestitcher, something like that.

MATT: (Ryn) "(laughs)"

TRAVIS: The Fatestitcher?

SAM: The Fatestitcher?

MATT: "(laughs)"

SAM: Wait, what? Is that the DM laughing, or the character?

MARISHA: I don't know, I don't know.

MATT: No, that's Ryn.

TRAVIS: We've got Planerider.

MATT: That's Ryn laughing.

MARISHA: Oh, oh.

SAM: You've heard of the Fatestitcher?

MATT: "Indeed, indeed. I've heard a few of these names you've mentioned. You are a motley, tangled mess. I love it."

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: "I absolutely love it."

TRAVIS: Care to share what the chuckles are about?

MARISHA: I can't tell. I know I can't.

LIAM: Yeah, now that you know that we've got a tie to the Fatestitcher, what's the first point of attack? The Cerberus Assembly and their ramshackle setup or--

MATT: "I mean, the choice is yours. It seems, from what I can tell, Janina's in the process of getting this--" Looks back to the other two. "Janina's getting the process of getting the most recent intel. But whatever they're doing, it seems that the Exandrian ruins here is the central focus since the, well, that's where the research sites, the lightning rod-like focus is originally built. The other two ones are just supplementary. Whether to make it stronger, to pull it between all realms, there's a lot of possibilities here. Now, whichever one you have stronger ties to-- The Shadowfell is definitely a dangerous and less welcoming realm than the Fey Realm, but it also is the least guarded for that reason. Fey Realm probably has a little more protection, especially with the Unseelie's involvement with the Assembly in keeping it down. But if you indeed are a connoisseur of the fey and an ally to the Fatestitcher, then I'm sure you could come up with some fun, strange things there.

TRAVIS: Who's the Fatestitcher? I mean, is she a professional wrestler? What's with this name?

MATT: "She's a guardian of one of the fanes on that side of the Fey Realm.

LAURA: What's a fane?

MATT: "A fane is a place of power. There are many hearts to the land."

ASHLEY: I don't--

MATT: "She's a keeper of one of them."

SAM: Keeper of one of the hearts of the land.

ASHLEY: I didn't--

TRAVIS: Fearne, is this news to you?

ASHLEY: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS and SAM: Insight check! (laughter)

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: You can make a persuasion or deception, your choice, and then just tell me the number.

ASHLEY: Me?

MATT: Mm-hmm.

ASHLEY: Okay. 15.

SAM: 15.

TRAVIS: One. (laughter)

SAM: Does she beat--

MARISHA: Standoff.

MATT: It's coming to standoff

LAURA: Yeah. Rollies?

MATT: Let's have Rollies again.

MARISHA: Rollies.

TRAVIS: Rollies

SAM: Rollies!

MARISHA: Rollies, Rollies, Rollies.

SAM: This Rollies sponsored by D&D Beyond.

MATT: (laughs)

SAM: No unnecessary trips to the crowded post office. Get your friends books immediately at dndbeyond.link/crshop. 15 again.

ASHLEY: Fuck, four. Oh well.

LAURA: No, it's just straight Rollies.

ASHLEY: It's just straight up Rollies.

SAM: Oh, oh, oh. Then that was a nine.

ASHLEY: Okay, you still beat me.

SAM: Okay.

ASHLEY: It's a little bit of news to me.

SAM: Okay.

TRAVIS: A little bit?

ASHLEY: Well.

MATT: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Here's the thing. Um.

TRAVIS: You got to spill your pouch.

ASHLEY: Well. (laughter)

SAM: Your marsupial pouch.

ASHLEY: I forgot about that. I only was in just an area, you know? I stayed in my area with my grandmother, so-- There's a lot of the Fey Realm that I still don't-- haven't fully gotten to visit yet, but, um, my, yeah, my--

LAURA: Did she keep you trapped?

ASHLEY: No, no, no, no, no, no.

MARISHA: I know, it sounds--

ASHLEY: I just, no, no, no. It's where I stayed and I did see some people around and I would go-- Um. I think-- Listen. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Let's ask some direct questions. Have you ever visited the Unseelie Court?

ASHLEY: Yes.

SAM: (laughs)

MARISHA: Insight check!

ASHLEY: Yes, yes, I have. Yes, I have.

MARISHA: Okay.

ASHLEY: I have. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Just going and I've seen the outside. Um.

TRAVIS: Oh.

ASHLEY: You know, I have-- I have aunties that work there. You know.

SAM: And your grandma was guarding a sacred place that you've seen or been to, or--?

ASHLEY: Our house.

SAM: Was it this--

MARISHA: Was your house the fane?

SAM: -- this heart fane place?

ASHLEY: It's a home.

TRAVIS: Did your home have legs?

MARISHA: Chicken legs?

ASHLEY: No, but there's-- I mean-- It's a little-- It's our home. It's a home, our house is a home. You know, there's nothing-- I don't feel like there's anything strange or different about it. It was grandmother's house.

LAURA: It walked around, you know, on two chicken legs. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Yeah, that's normal. She's... She's very powerful. She's really strong.

TRAVIS: We gather.

ASHLEY: And, you know, she's always taking care of me and--

MARISHA: Was she very much like, "No, don't leave. Don't go beyond these boundaries. If I catch you leaving, you're going to get a spanking."

ASHLEY: Well, no. She was very protective, wanted to make sure that I was safe.

LIAM: Does she fuck with the Unseelie Court?

ASHLEY: Maybe. She didn't really talk to me about it.

LAURA: Do you think she might be working for the bad guys?

MARISHA: She made that gem. The green lens.

LAURA: That's true.

ASHLEY: I don't think--

SAM: I thought you said gym.

ASHLEY: I don't think so.

LAURA: (like Marisha) She made a gem.

MATT: Well, when the Unseelie Court was coming for you, your, or sorry, when the Unseelie Court was coming for your parents, they left you with Morri because it was one of the places the Unseelie Court was likely not to go or look.

LAURA: Okay, good.

SAM: Mm.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I don't think--

LIAM: Because they were scared?

ASHLEY: I don't feel like she's working with them. I think it's--

TRAVIS: She might be more neutral than that.

SAM: (exhales)

MARISHA: Something else I'm suddenly remembering.

TRAVIS: Subtly?

MARISHA: Suddenly.

TRAVIS: I'm subtly remembering.

MARISHA: I'm subtly suddenly remembering. The Nightmare King has that crown.

SAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: That they took, that your parents stole from the device and now he's roaming around with it.

SAM: Yeah, he's going to put it on-- He's going to add it to whatever booty they have out there in the Hellcatch Valley.

MARISHA: But, that was stolen from the machine. So I'm guessing they're using powerful artifacts of some sort, right? Am I wrong? What are you-- DM is looking at me.

MATT: No, no, no, no. Ryn's leaning forward, thinking for a minute. "So you were saying that this Ira Wendagoth--"

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: "Nightmare King."

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: "-- is working with the Assembly."

SAM: Well, he's been working with everybody.

MARISHA: Yes.

SAM: First, he was--

MATT: "See, that makes more sense to me."

SAM: His alliances keep changing.

MATT: "What is he on?"

MARISHA: I don't know because he worked on the Fey Realm project, and then he came and he was working with Otohan, and then he came and he is working with Hondir, and now he took whatever the fucking was the name of that crown, and then ran off with it.

ASHLEY: He's kind of dipping his toe in everything.

MARISHA: A little bit of everything. He's kind of--

MATT: "That's chaos. That might work in our favor."

SAM: Oh, you mean like he could be our inside man?

MARISHA: Working with him.

MATT: "Maybe."

MARISHA: He seemed to like me, you know, in particularly.

SAM: But what does he respond to, money?

ASHLEY: I picked up on that too.

SAM: Why does he keep changing alliances? He just goes where the wind blows or he wants money, or what?

LIAM: Not money.

ASHLEY: I don't think it's money.

SAM: (laughs)

LAURA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: I think it's-- I think it's fun.

LAURA: Yeah. He's a chaos king.

MARISHA: Because he worked in the Apex War and then he didn't have anything to do. What was more of his jam? Let me--

SAM: So if we can get to him, maybe he'll be on our side.

ASHLEY: I feel like I'm something here.

TRAVIS: I'm thinking chaos is his jam

LAURA: If it seems interesting.

MARISHA: It kind of feel like chaos is his jam.

SAM: So we have options. We can go try to make inroads into whoever's in this army in the Hellcatch or we can take a detour and go to the Fey Realm. How much time do we have before apogee solstice? Like 10 days now, 12 days?

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: It's-- Yeah. Roughly, I'll look at the numbers again. Roughly about two weeks.

MARISHA: Moontide Crown.

MATT: Yes.

ASHLEY: That's right.

SAM: Two weeks.

TRAVIS: The Hellcatch could be Imogen's mom. Fey Realm could be Morri.

SAM: Fey Realm could also delay us by two years.

TRAVIS: Yes.

SAM: Or it could take two seconds.

TRAVIS: That is true.

ASHLEY: That's the only problem. But yeah.

LAURA: Do you think your grandmother could control that?

MATT: Ryn goes, "That's not entirely wrong, not entirely right. If you have friends on that side, they can fiddle with the exit strategy."

SAM: Oh. So we could get in and get out in three or four days, maybe.

MATT: "Maybe."

SAM: What if we went to the Fey Realm and tried to fuck with their-- Pardon my language, I'm sorry. I don't know if planeriders swear. But if we tried to sabotage the device that they're doing up there, maybe we wouldn't even need to succeed. We could just-- We could try to mess with it and lure someone. Like if they send out a distress call or something, maybe they'd send up some folks from this plane to investigate and we'd nab that person and be like, "Hey, you work for us now, mister," and then send them back down. I don't know. That's a thing, maybe.

TRAVIS: I mean, I think you have to look at it as Morri's super powerful and the Unseelie Court wouldn't fuck with her or go near that place. If she is willing to help us at least disable that supporting machine in the Fey Realm, it weakens the overall structure apparatus.

SAM: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: If that even draws attention away or buys us any time before the apogee solstice, then we could try your mom in this realm. But I feel like more power and she likes you, right?

ASHLEY: She--

TRAVIS: You didn't steal her credit card when you left or anything?

ASHLEY: Oh my god, no. She's one of my-- I love her. I love her and I know that she loves me whether--

SAM: She would do us a favor.

ASHLEY: I think she absolutely would.

SAM: No strings attached?

ASHLEY: (laughs)

TRAVIS: I'd fuck with that instead of going to where all the heat is.

ASHLEY: I think she would help us. She's very powerful.

LIAM: What if we get caught on the weird soup that is time and miss the solstice.

LAURA: But he was just saying that Morri can help us.

LIAM: For sure can? It's a done deal?

SAM: I mean, Morri could help us out, right?

MATT: "It's possible."

LIAM: Possible.

TRAVIS: Back in my rider days, yeah, no problem. I had to turn that ring in, though.

SAM: What?

TRAVIS: You know the one.

SAM: Planerider Ryn, what sort of person or powers would we need to ensure that the time jumping would--

MARISHA: Feels like Morri.

MATT: "Well, there are two main possibilities. One, being granted exit via archfey, or two, have an individual of significant enough power and personal life force tether to the realm to also facilitate your exit. The Fatestitcher may be capable of such a thing."

SAM: Okay. We could ask also. Can you send messages, Imogen, to the Fatestitcher?

LAURA: Oh gosh, I could. It's possible it won't go through, but I can try. I don't know her personally, but--

ASHLEY: Oh, she's the best. She's the absolute best. But if you do message her, just ask her if she's been feeding Bompers. Because I don't if--

TRAVIS: Bompers?

ASHLEY: I have so many little babies. You guys have no idea. Just all of my friends.

LAURA: Okay.

LAURA: But sometimes she wouldn't feed Bompers, so I'm nervous that he might be dead.

LAURA: Which you are familiar--

ASHLEY: It's fine. This is so not important--

SAM: Is that a goldfish or something?

ASHLEY: -- compared to the whole entire world.

LAURA: Okay. Do you want me to try?

ASHLEY: If you want to.

LAURA: I mean, I don't know.

SAM: What are we asking?

LAURA: It's such an odd question.

SAM: Hey, if we come visit you, can you get us back here without--

LAURA: Without fucking up the time?

ASHLEY: Oh my gosh, you guys. If you came to my house--

LAURA: Messing up the time?

TRAVIS: Serious shit happening here, Fearne. Serious shit.

ASHLEY: I know, I know. I'm just--

TRAVIS: Fucking life changing--

ASHLEY: You don't even-- know how to wonderful it is there.

TRAVIS: -- galaxy eating monster.

ASHLEY: And the food you will eat, the most amazing food that she will cook for all of us. (sighs) This would be like a vacation. This will be like a vacation.

TRAVIS: I don't know if that's accurate.

ASHLEY: I guarantee it.

LAURA: Is there something I can say to her that she will be more inclined to respond to?

ASHLEY: Um. Just say... She always calls me her little bear cub.

LAURA: Okay.

ASHLEY: So just say it's your little Fearnie bear cub and, um, we need to--

LAURA: Come visit?

ASHLEY: Come visit, but we also need to get back in time. I don't know how you word that, but can you get us back in time?

LAURA: Sure. Let me try to send her a message.

ASHLEY: I don't know. Is this--

LAURA: All right. I'm going to try to--

SAM: Do you need a personal item of hers? Would that help the connection or no?

LAURA: No. Just describe to me what she looks like exactly. And her name is Morri. Granny Morri.

ASHLEY: Morri. Granny Morri.

SAM: Morri, right?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: The Fatestitcher.

ASHLEY: She's very tall. Very tall. She looks like, you know, like any old grandmother.

SAM: (laughs)

LAURA: Great. I'm picturing white hair, glasses under a little bonnet.

SAM: Betty White, but eight feet tall.

LAURA: Yeah.

SAM: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Taller. Taller than that, probably.

SAM: Oh, what?!

LAURA: Taller than eight--

ASHLEY: Well, I mean, how do you think I got so tall?

SAM: You're not related to her!

ASHLEY: Well, we don't fully know that, right?

TRAVIS: No, we know that. Yeah.

MARISHA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: It's a fucking certainty.

ASHLEY: I just don't believe it.

LAURA: Okay, I'm going to try to send message to see if it works. Who knows?

MATT: With the description that she gave you.

SAM: Tall grandma.

LAURA: It's a Fatestitcher, I am familiar.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: Two dimensions away.

LIAM: But it's more like Bea Arthur instead of Betty White.

SAM: Sure.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Yeah, Morri the Fatestinker. Morri the Fate-- (laughter)

LAURA: You old Fatestinker.

MATT: You old Fatestinker!

MARISHA: That's who we contact instead.

LAURA: What's up, old Fatestinker.

ASHLEY: She does have some crazy toots.

MATT: Morri the Fatestitcher might be enough. You could try it.

TRAVIS: It's all that flesh.

SAM: You could also hold one of her postcards or something.

LAURA: Yeah, give me a--

ASHLEY: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

LAURA: I don't think that'll help, but it might. It's not like scrying.

ASHLEY: It's right here.

LAURA: Okay, this is one of her postcards.

ASHLEY: But I mean, this is her writing.

LAURA: Well, okay, I know what she writes like. I'm picturing big, eight-foot hands that can write and paint.

ASHLEY: She wears lots of fabrics.

MARISHA: Eight-foot hands.

LAURA: She wears tons of fabric.

MARISHA: That's really it.

ASHLEY: She swaths in things.

MARISHA: Ah!

SAM: But tiny feet.

ASHLEY: Large hands.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: Before we go jumping on a tear to the Feywild, which we--

SAM: We're not going to go, we're just checking.

LIAM: I just want to ask, do you want to stay on your mother's trail? Things are time sensitive. Do you want to let that trail go cold? I don't have the answer, I'm just asking.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I mean, it feels like you should throw a lure towards each.

LAURA: I feel like if my mom is working for Thull, and it makes sense now that she is, I'd rather stop something else and then go see her than risk going at them with their full strength. I don't know.

TRAVIS: Maybe one thing at a time. Maybe we can flush your mom out.

LAURA: Maybe. Maybe. I do get the impression she doesn't want to be there. You know, she keeps saying, run, run away from this. Don't pursue it. Don't pursue me.

ASHLEY: What if she's stuck?

LAURA: She might be. She might be trapped there. When Thull was trying to bring me over, it was like if I gave in, she would've had me. It would've had me. It was close, you know?

ASHLEY: There's got to be something then that she's holding all these people to stay with her, to fight.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: (sighs)

SAM: In any case though, I mean, calling grandma is not going to affect what we do next.

LAURA: No.

SAM: We're just gathering information.

ASHLEY: God, I wish could talk to her.

LAURA: I know.

ASHLEY: It's okay, it's okay. I know I can't do it.

LAURA: Finding out if she can get us back in time.

SAM: Yeah, that's it.

LAURA: All right.

SAM: We're just information seeking.

LAURA: Fearnie bear-cub?

ASHLEY: Fearnie bear-cub-banana.

LAURA: Oh my god.

LIAM: Do you have anything that's one word?

LAURA: That's so many words.

ASHLEY: I know, I know.

SAM: It's hyphenated, it's all one word.

ASHLEY: I mean, she says bear-cub-banana really quickly. Like my little bear-cub-banana, you know?

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: Fearnie, my little bear-cub-banana.

LAURA: Okay.

SAM: Six words, it's easy.

LIAM: Do B-C-B.

ASHLEY: Probably just say my name.

LAURA: Okay.

ASHLEY: It's fine. You got it, you're good at this. I'm going to stop talking right now.

LAURA: I'm going to try to send her a message.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: After this, FCG?

LAURA: Hello, Fatestitcher. Here with Fearnie bear-cub-banana.

MATT and SAM: (laugh)

LAURA: She wants to come visit, desperately. On a time crunch. Can you get us back without the wibble-wobbles?

TRAVIS: Hyphen?

LAURA: Yeah, it's the last word. It was the last word.

MATT and LAURA: (laugh)

SAM: Wibble-wobbles.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: You know, when putting a sending spell beyond realms, it always feels a little bit like you're pushing through a thick bubble, like there's resistance and then it finds its way through. Then eventually, if it comes back, it brings with a bit of momentum. When the message returns, it hits you like a gentle smack on the cheek. "Oh. Well, it's nice to hear you, whoever you are. Please tell my little bear-banana-baby to come visit. I can help, always."

TRAVIS: Damn, she did it without using two words.

LIAM: Did you get anything?

ASHLEY: Did you hear her?

LAURA: Oh, I heard her.

ASHLEY: Oh, she's just--

LAURA: She sounds so warm.

ASHLEY: Oh, she's-- (laughter)

ASHLEY: Oh, I miss her so bad. I miss her so bad.

LAURA: She said she wants to come help. She wants you to come visit. She can help (ghostly voice) always.

ASHLEY: Oh gosh, she is loyal. If she gives you her word, she will--

LAURA: It felt like, as she was saying it, she was staring at me. You know what I mean? I couldn't see her eyes, but I could feel like she's staring.

ASHLEY: Oh, I totally know what you're talking about. That crazy eyes that she has.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

ASHLEY: But she does. She's like, yeah, I'm going to do it.

LAURA: Okay, well. Wow.

ASHLEY: Oh, I'm so excited.

SAM: Well, that's good, that's positive. That's one avenue open.

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

SAM: We're not doing this tonight, right?

LIAM: She sounded really warm?

LAURA: Really just the warmest. In your head, you hear: Dear god, she sounded fucking terrifying. Really fucking scary.

LIAM: That's one option.

TRAVIS: Well, that's great. Yeah.

MARISHA: So, the others we were talking about was obviously Imogen's mom and then also Sir Wendagoth.

TRAVIS: Mm.

MATT: "You've got options at your disposal."

SAM: We also just landed in Yios. I mean, I know we're not in Yios anymore, but we just landed in Yios--

TRAVIS: Dorothy.

SAM: -- today, last night. Is there anything else in Yios that we needed to do, or just find these fine folks?

LAURA: This is it.

SAM: Anything else at the university?

ASHLEY: Well, we needed to ask about you.

SAM: I mean, I had stuff to ask about.

LAURA: Oh gosh.

LIAM: We need to pick up Ashton.

SAM: Oh god!

ASHLEY: Oh.

SAM: Yeah, we got to go back to Yios.

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: Yes.

ASHLEY: Yes, we do.

SAM: Ashton. Where are they?

MARISHA: Oh my god, it's going to take so much time to catch them up.

TRAVIS: They're probably cleaning up at the casino. Got a system down pat.

SAM: Was there anything else we need to do in Yios? Let me look at my to-do list.

LIAM: I did not.

LAURA: I did not!

SAM: Find the Grim Verity.

LAURA: But I thought--

SAM: Ebenold Kai.

MARISHA: Is it--

TRAVIS: When you--

SAM: Open me up.

LIAM: I thought I heard--

LAURA: Uh-huh.

TRAVIS: I look at the woman-- The doctor and the--

MATT: Dr. Baryn?

TRAVIS: Yep.

LIAM: So sad.

TRAVIS: I'm sorry we made you burn that scroll to get over here. I feel like we ruined your bug-out spot.

MATT: (Baryn) "Oh, it's all right. To be honest, it was worth it just to find some more compatriots here with some capabilities beyond our own. And it's nice to know that it worked because there's always a moment where you're like, Ah, if I do this incorrectly I'm just going to be locked in a basement and slaughtered."

SAM: You were hiding. Who was trying to get you? Who are the-- Do we know? Did we ask this already?

TRAVIS: The guards from Vasselheim.

SAM: No, I know, but who brought them? Who sent them?

LAURA: Oh yeah, he was the emissary.

SAM: Who's hunting you?

MATT: "Vasselheim."

SAM: Just Vasselheim?

MATT: "Specifically the Highbearer and--"

SAM: The Highbearer?

LAURA: Which Highbearer?

TRAVIS: From the plat--

SAM: Oh, did you just--

MATT: (laughs)

SAM: You might have remembered something?

TRAVIS: I die. (laughter)

LAURA: Roll a d100.

TRAVIS: That was it!

LAURA: Wait, roll a d100.

TRAVIS: Yep.

MATT: "Those at the highest order at the Platinum Sanctuary as well as the Quadroads specifically were interested in recovering what we had taken."

LIAM: Vasselheim is the birthplace of organized religion.

SAM: But you didn't take it from Vasselheim, you took it from Yios, right?

LAURA: No, they took it from Vasselheim.

LIAM: No, it's from Vasselheim.

MATT: "We took it from Vasselheim and they've been chasing us ever since."

SAM: They want their books back.

MATT: "And they want us and anyone else who knows about it probably also forgotten."

TRAVIS: Well, the reason I ask is if we go back we're not going to (apparate) back into your house, right? Because I think that's probably-- I set off a lot of traps. It was very well protected, good job. Didn't hurt me that much, so demerits for that. But we also did see some of those Judicators walking around.

MATT: "The Judicators, yes, yes."

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: They saw us.

LAURA: We got their attention.

TRAVIS: So, in case they were clocking us or following us around, your house might be unavailable to you.

MATT: "That is good to know and very true. Ryn, do you mind if we stay here for a bit?" Ryn goes, "Of course. I mean, it's a bit stuffy at times for folks not used to the temperature, but yes. I've got a couple of guest beds in the back. I'll throw something together for you. We'll make it work."

LIAM: A lot of the furniture is burned, especially in that corner.

TRAVIS: Where do you use the restroom? Just the river?

MATT: "Oh no, I have an outhouse outside."

TRAVIS: Oh!

MATT: "Just make sure you don't draw any attention from any of the various fire drakes that hunt in this vicinity."

TRAVIS: Drakes?!

LAURA: Could Niles walk people out to the bathroom if they--

MATT: "Yeah, Niles is great. Niles, would you walk them out?" Niles just goes "(deep growls)." (Ryn) "See? He's a doll."

TRAVIS: That's horrible.

SAM: Boy.

MATT: "But, in all seriousness, and I know I can come off a bit flippant at times, but this is-- There's a lot of terrible things coming to Exandria in the next few weeks. Not just this, not just what we're dealing with. This is a historical challenge worldwide for many different interests. Good, bad, and in-between. And while I've tried to keep an eye on a few, this seems to be at least my lot to focus on this round. So, it's brought us together. We'll see who else it can bring together as well to help. But this is dangerous. This is-- It is likely some of us won't make it through." Looking over at the doctor and professor, looking across to your troop here. "(scoffs) Just know that where we step, sacrifices will happen and we have to keep our eyes on the prize. Anyway."

SAM: (gasps)

MARISHA: They were staring at you--

MATT: "So."

MARISHA: -- very intently.

SAM: I know, I know.

MATT: "It's a pep talk. I give pep talks."

LAURA: Mm-hmm. What are we doing?

SAM: Are we--

LAURA: Back to Yios, or--?

MATT: "Back to Yios. Whereabouts?"

SAM: Oh, we're not staying here overnight or anything?

LAURA: Oh, I mean, I suppose we could, just to--

SAM: No, no. It's hot.

ASHLEY: Well, I mean, what if Ashton comes looking for us and--

LIAM: There's no time drift between here and home?

MATT: "No, no, no, no, no, no."

LIAM: Well, I mean, I think Ashton, what'd they say? They were running off to do a quick thing?

LAURA: Uh-huh.

LIAM: I don't think we want to stay here eight hours.

SAM: Okay.

LAURA: All right.

LIAM: Is the place you would send us back the basement or anywhere?

MATT: "I can send you to the basement, but you seem to be disinterested in that possibility. I can send you to the outskirts of the city. I can send you to one of the bridges. I mean--"

TRAVIS: I think the basement's okay for us.

SAM: Well, can you get us close to the Lakecap Skyport, Lounge, Casino, Tavern, Inn, and Circus?

LAURA: (laughs) And circus.

MATT: "Basement suffices quite well. Let's do the basement." (laughter)

SAM: Well, there was a circus performing.

LAURA: No, yeah, oh. Oh.

MATT: "All right. Well, it's been an odd pleasure. I'm sure we'll cross paths again very soon. If anything odd comes up, I'll reach out to one of you, I suppose. If anything odd comes up on your end, you seem to have the capability to reach out to me as well."

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "Well, Bells Hells, let's make things weird." As they carve this circle space in the air--

MARISHA: Damn it. She's got a catch phrase. I want a catch phrase.

MATT: -- the center of this one slab of somewhat smoothed-over, porous volcanic rock begins to glow as a circle appears in the space.

LAURA: You kind of do: I'm fun scary.

MARISHA: Oh, that's true.

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: She? They?

MATT: She. "Time's ticking."

SAM: Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's go.

MARISHA: Let's go.

MATT: (whooshing) You all step back into the chamber, returning back to the basement from where you had previously absconded to this odd pocket plane.

LAURA: Lights as soon as we come through.

MATT: You light the darkened space beneath the subterranean basement.

SAM: (sighs)

TRAVIS: I run out the basement, run up the stairs, and just check, make sure nobody's in the house.

MATT: Okay. You run out of the basement, run up the stairs. As you're halfway up the stairs, you hear (exploding bang).

SAM: Oh shit.

MATT: A heavy breaking and splintering of wood.

MARISHA: (gasps)

LAURA: Fuck.

MARISHA: Oh fuck.

TRAVIS: Can I shut the false wall to the stairs?

MATT: You close it back down?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: It's top down, that's right.

SAM: Now we're trapped in here. We're trapped, they're going to find us.

TRAVIS: It's okay.

LAURA: What the fuck are we going to do?

MATT: (heavy footfalls)

ASHLEY: Wait, they're going to wonder why the painting is in the sink.

MARISHA: Oh, why did I put the fucking painting in the sink? (laughter)

MARISHA: Fuck.

TRAVIS: This is unnatural (laughs).

MATT: You hear an odd voice, one you've never heard before, go, "And you're sure you heard them here? Smell them."

SAM: Smell them?

LIAM: Fuck.

MATT: "Then find them." And that's where we'll end tonight's episode. (shouting)

TRAVIS: Oh, no! You can't do that!

MARISHA: Is it the Gorgynei?

SAM: We're being hunted in a basement.

LAURA: What are we going to do?

LIAM: They're going to smell us like we smelled them.

LAURA: What a stupid choice to come back to the stupid basement.

ASHLEY: Why did we come back here?

SAM: Smell them. They have a werewolf.

MARISHA: We could have fucking gone to the fucking outskirts!

ASHLEY: Why did we not go to the outskirts?

MARISHA: Is it a Gorgynei? Aw, man.

SAM: I don't-- Do I smell?

ASHLEY: Do you smell?

MARISHA: You said earlier you didn't.

LAURA: You smell like oil.

SAM: No, I know I cannot smell.

MARISHA: Oh.

SAM: What do I smell like?

TRAVIS: He said, you heard them in here?

LAURA: You smell like oil and--

TRAVIS: Smell them, then find them.

SAM: Oh my god.

LIAM: Captain, there's a Modigliani in the kitchen sink. (laughter)

LAURA: Oh no.

MARISHA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Oh no.

SAM: Oh boy.

ASHLEY: Oh no.

SAM: I have to wait a year to find out what happens?

MATT: An entire year. (laughter)

MATT: We'll pick up from that wild series of--

ASHLEY: Oh man, oh man, oh man.

MATT: -- informational reveals and this little basement kill box here in 2023.

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

ASHLEY: Wow. Man, oh man, oh man, oh man.

MATT: Oh man. All righty. Well--

MARISHA: Fuck.

MATT: We miss you, Tal. We'll see you.

LAURA: Aw.

ASHLEY: Miss you, Tal.

MARISHA: This is straight up going to be--

MATT: When we get you back.

MARISHA: -- the longest catch up phone call.

MATT: I know, it really is.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: It's a lot of info.

MATT: But thank you for joining us. Happy holidays. We love you very much, and is it Thursday yet? (exclaiming)

MATT: Good night.

TRAVIS: See you in 2023!

MARISHA: See you in 2023!