Transcript:Hope

List of Transcripts

Pre-Show
MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight’s episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around, roll dice, and play Dungeons and Dragons. Yes, in my face. Thanks, Travis. So tonight we’ll kick off here with some announcements. First and foremost, the first run with Loot Crate went very well; you guys rose up and showed your interest in that fantastic product and they’ve come back!

(cheering)

TRAVIS: Put the stank down! Loot Crate!

MATT: Once again–

SAM: (airhorn sounds)

(laughter)

MATT: That’s wonderful. So yeah, so those of you guys who are tuning into this wonderful offer for the first time, they are offering a $3 subscription– the word escapes me for some reason.

SAM: Discount.

MATT: Discount, that’s the word, because my brain is stuck in fantasy mode.

MARISHA: Discount code. I love that you called it a modifier!

MATT: He said “modifier.” That was Travis on that one.

TRAVIS: Jock said modifier, y'all.

MATT: Minus $3 modifier to your Critical Role subscription for Loot Crate. But no, Loot Crate is a monthly subscription box. They make a really awesome, continuously new array of geek-centric and gamer gear, toys, T-shirts, wearable content, collectibles, it’s badass. Me and Marisha have been members for years ourselves.

MARISHA: And Taliesin. High-five. There we go.

TALIESIN: High-five. That was so awkward.

MATT: That was delightfully awkward. That was great. So we announced at the end of the last run with Loot Crate that their new upcoming box is themed “dystopia.” It’s everything post-apocalyptic, they’ve had a lot of really awesome Robocop, Terminator 3, Matrix items and Bioshock items–

LAURA: Fallout 4!

MATT: –a bunch of really cool things in this next Crate. Plus, on top of the previous stuff we’ve offered, they also put out what’s called a DX Box, this Dystopia DX. Which is a special, premium box which contains over $100 in items into it, it’s for the really hardcore awesome collectors out there. And the box itself is a lot bigger–

TRAVIS: Yeah! Look at that thing!

SAM: It stands for “Damn! Extreme!”

(laughing)

SAM: Are we unboxing? Are we doing this?

TRAVIS: Don’t let him get ahead of us! Open that thing!

SAM: Are we just doing the DX?

LAURA: Shut up! I gotta savor this.

LIAM: Skeletor! Mine!

LAURA: No. no, It said small, it said small, Liam!

LIAM: Skeletor. Mine!

MARISHA: Oh! Is it Skeletor?! Oh, this one’s a small too, on this side.

LAURA: Oh man. I guess the girls get to take advantage of the Skeletor shirts.

MATT: (Skeletor voice) I’ll get you He-Man! (cackles)

ASHLEY: Whoa! That’s a rad shirt!

MARISHA: This is a rad shirt.

TALIESIN: There’s Street Fighter, Street Fighter gym bag.

LAURA: Do you want to roshambo to see who keeps the shirt?

MATT: Having had the pleasure of actually playing Captain America once, this is really awesome, and having voiced Iron Man once, this box is made for me. Now I need to voice Skeletor and I’ll be good.

TRAVIS: There you go.

MATT: That’s fantastic.

SAM: Oh, I’m wearing a Loot Crate shirt right now. No, from this month’s Loot Crate–

TALIESIN: I got my Street Fighter gym bag.

LAURA: That’s so cool!

SAM: Are we allowed to open the small one, too?

MATT: Heck yeah! Do it!

SAM: I mean, it’s not small. It’s more exclusive.

MATT: There you go.

LAURA: Did anybody– who all did voices for Street Fighter? Taliesin did– You do Street Fighter, don’t you?

TALIESIN: I do, I got my Street Fighter bag.

LAURA: So me and Travis will share this one?

MATT: There you go.

SAM: Here, Marish. What do we got?

MARISHA: This is Dragonball, right?

MATT: Yeah, that’s Dragonball too.

MARISHA: Dragonball!

SAM: I mean, it’s too much good stuff.

MATT: That you are re-rolling a new character, Grog suffered a stroke.

TRAVIS: Man, you’re good.

MATT: I’m pretty fast on that draw. Pretty quick! Watch out for the microphone. I found in here hidden amongst the rest of the big things a really awesome Stan Lee pin, which is badass because years ago, at an Avengers-themed birthday party, we all dressed up, I actually dressed up as Stan Lee, it was a lot of fun– MARISHA: You did.

MATT: Yeah. We got a whole Avengers Last Supper picture with Stan Lee in the middle just going like–

LAURA: What?

TALIESIN: It was also– we had a friend who did Jack Kirby and we got a fight sequence going.

MATT: Yeah, me and him fought. You showed up as the Purple Man and you did karaoke to Start Wearing Purple. That was a good night.

SAM: Stan Lee licks every pin.

MATT: He does. Individually. True believers! (slurp noise)

TALIESIN: Excelsior!

MATT: So yeah, for those who aren’t subscribers, it’s awesome.

TRAVIS: That’s a gift, man, that is a great gift.

SAM: And with a $3 discount, if you multiply that by 12, that’s like getting a free Crate every year. I’m just making that up.

TRAVIS: I’m not good at math so I believe you.

MARISHA: Yeah, I know, I was like, sounds legit. Sure. I’d believe that!

MATT: So, if you want to sign up to get the discount, you go to www.lootcrate.com/criticalrole. if you want to sign up for the DX box, for the real collectors out there, that is www.lootcrate.com/criticalroledx.

LAURA: Is there a link in the chat or something, so that–

MATT: There is a link in the chat.

SAM: We’ll also tweet one out or something.

LAURA: Yeah, we’ll tweet at the break.

MATT: Okay, so I’m going to keep this. And you’re not going to tell anyone.

LAURA: (laughs) Are we supposed to give it back? ‘Cause that’s not happening.

MARISHA: Well, they might belong to Geek and Sundry, but.

MATT: You guys won’t tell anyone, right? Anyway, on to the rest of the announcements! Next up, at E3, which is next week, we’re going to be showing up on Thursday as part of GameSpot’s E3 coverage. We’re going to be doing cycling interviews with them starting at noon on Thursday, I believe, next week. So check in with GameSpot Thursday next week to have us sit in front of a camera and make complete and utter fools of ourselves, unlike we do here every Thursday. So that’ll be a lot of fun. A reminder, me and Marisha are going to be at the Haven Expo convention in Australia beginning of July, so all you Australian folks in the Southern Hemisphere want to come and say hi, we’d love to see you. Comic Con, San Diego Comic Con is coming up.

LIAM: I’ve heard of that.

MATT: Yeah, yeah. We’re going to be there. Looks like we may have a couple panels throughout the week, as well as the main Geek and Sundry panel, so if you guys are planning on coming to that area, keep an eye on the @CriticalRole Twitter, we’re going to be announcing those times and rooms when they become available to us, so you can plan to come see us because we’d love to see you out there.

MARISHA: It’s going to be all of us?

LAURA: Come say hi! As Travis says, “Come give us a squeeze.”

TRAVIS: Come give us a squeeze. We’ll be at the convention hall and we’ll be over at Petco in both places at different times.

ASHLEY: Don’t give me a squeeze, it makes me uncomfortable.

TRAVIS: It makes me toot.

ASHLEY: I don’t like being touched.

TRAVIS: (fart sound) That’d be great every time. (fart sound) Oh no.

ASHLEY: Oh no. I just fart every time.

MATT: That’s impressive, how does that keep happening? All right, Taliesin, your next episode of Signal Boost, I believe your last episode of Signal Boost–

TALIESIN: It’s my last episode of Signal Boost?

TRAVIS: But you’re the most interesting man in the world!

LAURA: You really are, Taliesin.

MARISHA: No one wants you to leave, but you’re leaving.

TALIESIN: It’s really hard to make those episodes and I have to get on with my life.

LIAM: Here’s a cardboard box, please put all your things in it.

MARISHA: And I have to get on with my life, is that what you just said? It’s hard to think about 12 things that you legitimately feel passionately about.

TALIESIN: Especially when you took four of them on your run. I was really angry about that.

MARISHA: Oh, dibsies.

MATT: And we have the “Dear Abby” Vox Machina articles still coming up– we have a new one tomorrow, I believe? Who’s up on that one? Do we know?

SAM: It’s Trinket and it’s all salmon-based advice.

(laughter)

MATT: If only that was the case.

TALIESIN: It might be me?

MATT: It might be Percy, we’ll find out! Tomorrow it’ll be a surprise! Go to geekandsundry.com tomorrow to find out whose article it is. Because we don’t know! And I think that’s it, that’s all, unless anyone has anything else they want to announce, or shall we dive into the game for the evening?

TRAVIS: I would like to announce that I have an egg on my pizza.

MATT: Was that intentional? Or did it just happen?

LAURA: It’s breakfast pizza, man!

TRAVIS: It’s just a mythical thing, you don’t question it.

MATT: I love me some breakfast pizza! I didn’t know if it was actually breakfast pizza, or he got regular pizza and somehow it got an egg on it.

MARISHA: It’s like slapstick pizza.

TALIESIN: It’s very embarrassed pizza.

MATT: Hmm, that’s weird. Anyway, let’s go ahead and bring it down here, as we return to the realm of Exandria for tonight’s episode of Critical Role.

SAM: Is something happening now?

MATT: I hope so, I hope we’re at the intro.

[dramatic music]

Part I
MATT: Hello, and welcome back, everyone. So, to bring us into tonight’s game, let’s do a little recap of recent events. This group of intrepid adventurers, Vox Machina, found their way towards the city of Westruun, which had been partially destroyed by the attacks of the Chroma Conclave, a dangerous group of chromatic dragons, very powerful entities that tore through the countryside. In the wake of this destruction, the Herd of Storms, a roving barbaric tribe that Grog once belonged to, swept in and conquered the city of Westruun. They made an accord with the returning black dragon, Umbrasyl, that they would alleviate most of the spoils of their findings toward it and, as such, would not be in conflict with such a powerful and dangerous entity. Vox Machina swung into the town, cut down the rather brutal and ruthless leader, Kevdak, and aided his son, who seemed to be of more honorable mind, Zanror, and Grog himself, to temporarily take the herd in its current state and use this moment to surprise and hopefully take down this ancient black dragon known as Umbrasyl, the Hope Devourer. They set a trap. They sprung it, and kept the dragon close to the ground as long as they could, dealing vast amounts of damage but not enough to stop it as it began to tear through the herd, as well as Vox Machina itself. Vax and Scanlan had, through the use of magic and ingenuity, teleported themselves inside of the dragon. Didn’t seem to go as well as they intended, as the dragon took off, leaving a dangling Grog with his axe and chain stuck in its side, flying off towards the high, darkened mountain of Gatshadow. The midair battle ensued as they tried to find ways to carve their way out of the beast. Vax, utilising the embedded arrow hole and loosening the tension of the muscles with the dragon blade at his disposal, Scanlan’s technique a little more sensual.

SAM: I fisted it.

MATT: You fisted the dragon and, as such, found your way out. During this period of time, Vax embraced the blessing of the Raven Queen, taking a level of paladin, Grog got more intelligent, briefly, as a giant eagle, and you managed to reconvene with your party members as the dragon went to recover within its lair at the top of Gatshadow. You then encountered a very elderly goliath who you hadn’t seen in quite some time, named Shale, who spoke of the scouting crew that had been obliterated by the dragon. You followed Shale as she led you up the mountain to where the dragon’s current lair resides. You did battle with Umbrasyl, a very hard-fought battle, many of you taking a bunch of damage. But you prevailed and Grog dealt the death blow, killing the dragon. You all began to sift through its hoard, the bulk of which we will be doing as you rest into the evening here, Shale shambling down the mountain on her own to see the rest of her greater destiny. So, as we come back, you’ve all decided to take an evening’s rest to recover from this heinous battle that you just suffered. You carved out some elements of Umbrasyl’s corpse that were not destroyed by the anger and might of Grog. I believe I told you a tooth count, a blood vial count, what did I not give you from the remains of the black dragon?

SAM: We don’t know what we don’t know, Matt.

TRAVIS: Scales and claws.

MARISHA: I don’t know if I got a tooth count, either.

LAURA: Oh, you got three vials of Umbrasyl blood, is all we have.

TALIESIN: It was a lot of teeth.

MATT: Yeah, it was 15 or so, I believe, because a lot of them were destroyed from the perpetual axe smashing in the mouth–

LAURA: Do you want me to write them in the bag?

TRAVIS: Make sure it was dead!

MATT: Yeah, exactly, it was the more important part, really.

LAURA: I’m writing the body parts in the Bag of Colding.

TALIESIN: What’s a dragon kidney stone worth?

LAURA: 15 teeth–

MARISHA: Does it turn into a pearl?

TALIESIN: It might do, you know, a diamond?

LAURA: What about scales?

MATT: Well, ten dragon claws were harvested from this entity, and about– and it’s going to take you quite a while, you’re probably not going to be able to rest if you continue to harvest from the corpse to get scales off of it, at this point, because it’s more dragonhide than just scales, you’re taking the hide off of it and you’re going to need a team of people and an extended period of time to do that well.

TALIESIN: I said I was going to help with the sword, with that process, since I’ve got it–

MATT: Okay, that does help, it’s still going to be– there’s a lot of hide–

TRAVIS: We only have like 60 pounds of scales from previously, left over.

(thumps)

LAURA: What is happening?

TRAVIS: Umbrasyl’s ghost.

MATT: Yeah, ravaging the countryside from the east.

SAM: We’re still in the lair?

MATT: You are still in the lair, yes.

MARISHA: We have 60 pounds of scales left?

LAURA: Yeah, but these would be Umbrasyl scales. This way we can make Umbrasyl black dragon armor!

TRAVIS: Then we can have, yeah, black and white scales.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but we could make dragonhide– with dragonhide you could make badass armor, right?

LIAM: Yeah, we could have done that ages ago.

MARISHA: (laughs) I want some black and white armor. How–

MATT: Do keep in mind, the Bag of Holding can hold upwards 500 pounds, to the max.

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: Just be aware.

SAM: It’s not infinite?

MATT: No.

LAURA: Oh, I thought it was infinite.

LIAM: Also, many of the shops that can do that kind of thing are destroyed, so–

TRAVIS: Oh, we’re okay, there’s not a bunch of big stuff in here.

TALIESIN: We’ll get some, we should get some.

SAM: What about the gold? Did we find out how much gold?

MATT: We’re about to find out.

LAURA: Well, okay, I’m definitely doing that while they’re working on the dragon.

TALIESIN: We’ll work on the scales.

MATT: As you guys are working on the scales–

MARISHA: I want to work most of– I want to take as much as I can–

MATT: Of the scales? Okay, that’s fine. Hide, dragonhide, we’ll say. Scales themselves are just little pieces, used more for alchemical elements, can be removed from hide later, so we’ll call it hide. So I want you to go ahead and make an investigation check, Laura.

LAURA: Oh man! Come on 20!

LIAM: Also, I believe I was first to the pile. I was looking for what weapons there are and I also want to watch her, very closely, with everything she does.

LAURA: Does this have to do with dragons? Is it an investigation about dragons?

MATT: Uh, no, this is more to do with the gold–

LAURA: What about because I’m in a mountain and it’s my favored terrain?

MATT: Your favored terrain, ironically, is not gold, it is mountains. However, when you level up as a ranger, if you choose to, your next favored terrain should be gold. Just as a character choice–

LAURA: I’m just checking for– I wanna be sure I’m rolling what I’m supposed to–

LIAM: (singing) Ducktales! Woo-ooo!

LAURA: 13 is all that I rolled, though.

LIAM: With a swimming speed of 40 in gold.

MATT: It is quite a lot of gold. As you start counting up a section of it, and you being a very, very discerning eye, you’re looking upwards of around 78,000 gold pieces.

LAURA: Oh, but some of this is Westruun’s.

MATT: A lot of this is Westruun’s.

ASHLEY: Is it, though?

LAURA: It is, it is, it is. You know what, I’m going to keep it– I’m keeping it in a separate stock, because I don’t want to take money away from Westruun–

MATT: Just so you’re aware, that’s 1,570 pounds of gold. You can’t carry all that.

ASHLEY: If we separated it?

LAURA: Well, we’re going to put a marker in it and let Westruun know that this is their gold and then we’ll send them up–

TRAVIS: Oh that’s fair! Then they can come back up and get it.

LAURA: Yeah, they can, ‘cause how else are we going to get it to them? I’m just going to take a little bit of it.

MATT: How much you taking?

SAM: 20%.

TRAVIS: 15,000.

LAURA: What we put in is still down on the ground.

MARISHA: How much did we put in?

LIAM: Ten.

LAURA: I think we should take 10,000.

TRAVIS: Higher! Higher!

LAURA: But it’s Westruun’s money!

ASHLEY: We can let the people decide?

SAM: And we have spent a lot of our hard-earned cash saving this for them.

TALIESIN: I’m going to need a little bit of that money to fix my gun, too, which is very broken.

LAURA: How much do you need, Percy?

TALIESIN: I don’t know how broken it is.

SAM: Our Heroes’ Feasts are 1,000 bucks each–

MARISHA: About how much is 500 pounds worth of gold? Maybe that’s a better question?

MATT: Well 50 gold pieces is one pound, so that’s about 100 pounds. 5,000 you said? 500? 500 would be, you know, ten pounds.

TALIESIN: We need some platinum.

LAURA: Oh, is there platinum in there? We’re so greedy!

MATT: It’s mostly gold. Platinum is not too heavily traded, it’s usually more– there aren’t a lot of people in the general town and cityscapes of Westruun, these areas of the country, that carry large volumes of platinum. They’re more like inter-country large purchases that are made. Most of this has just been gathered from people’s homes, from personal stashes and mercantile store houses, so most of it here is gold.

MARISHA: How much did you say was the total again?

MATT: About 78,000.

SAM: I feel like we should take 15 to 20.

MARISHA: So 20% would be 15,000.

LIAM: 15’s fair.

LAURA: Is it?

LIAM: We put in a lot of work. If you wanna do more, you can tell the children of Westruun, personally–

LAURA: No, I don’t want to put– I don’t want to put more, I want to take less, honestly.

SAM: Why do you hate children, Vex?

TALIESIN: They’re very dirty, they smell terrible and–

ASHLEY: Is it a terrible idea to let the people decide? ‘Cause maybe they would give us more?

SAM: The people, how? Hold a vote? Do you want this money or do you want us to have it?

ASHLEY: (sighs) I don’t know, because maybe some of it may not all be theirs.

SAM: Could you pray on it and ask what Sarenrae would do?

ASHLEY: I’m not going to pray over this money!

TALIESIN: I think if we ask them, they’re just going to argue amongst themselves.

SAM: Like us?

MARISHA: Yeah, I agree. We would ask an entire town to come to a decision.

MATT: That’s 300 pounds worth of gold. If you were to put that within the Bag of Holding, that’s the most you could carry.

TRAVIS: That’s all right.

MATT: Your Bag of Holding, I’ll say at this point, would be full.

TRAVIS: Maxed out? I could do that, plus I could make myself really big for a little bit, too.

LAURA: All right, but that’s all we’re taking.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LAURA: These people are in need. It’s very hard to say, but I don’t want people being homeless and we’re walking around with a bunch of gold that’s–

TALIESIN: Beyond homeless, they’re going to probably have to run, so any money we give them will be money they will use to get out of town. To go somewhere else.

MARISHA: Are we sure there’s people capable in town to bring back all this money? That we trust?

SAM: Sure, if they had enough people and enough wagons. But, however, if we leave all this gold just sitting here, won’t brigands come and rob it and pilfer it?

LAURA: Probably. But what are we going to do?

SAM: We can hide it in some stone shit. Can’t you make some stone shit, to hide it? Some sort of–

LAURA: Oh, yeah, like a wall or something?

SAM: I don’t know, like a fake stone wall that they could walk through? I don’t know!

LAURA: That only lasts for a while.

MARISHA: I can Stone Shape like a little. No, Stone Shape’s permanent?

MATT: Yeah, it’s instant. You just (impact).

MARISHA: Okay, Okay. Stone Shape’s permanent, so I could Stone Shape a little cubby and put a little symbol over it so we know–

LAURA: Okay. But hide it well. I’ll hide the hole so that we tell them where it is.

MATT: Okay, so as you begin moving and trudging through the gold, as you start moving it into that pile, you also discover 25 pounds’ worth of precious gems, most of them cut, some of which are also rough.

SAM: Do any of them have identifying marks, like wedding rings, or–?

MATT: I mean, there are a number of gems that look like they’re part of necklaces or rings, yes.

LAURA: I wonder why he’s asking.

MATT: There are a number of gem-encrusted rings that would be very, very beautiful wedding rings if they were utilized, yes.

SAM: Any particularly small ones?

(laughter)

MATT: There are a number that could fit smaller folked fingers

SAM: I’ll take a sapphire.

MATT: Okay, that’s about a 400 gold worth sapphire ring.

LIAM: “Oh! This one’s nice!”

MATT: So note the 25 pounds’ worth of gems. You could attempt to ascertain their worth later. You don’t have the materials, nor the actual personal knowledge to figure out exactly how much those gems are worth at the moment. You do also find a bunch of art and fine decor, brass and gold statues that were pulled out of homes, some art pieces, silverware–

SAM: Can I do some sort of arcana check on some of the stuff? Have we done that already?

MARISHA: We have the Hunk of Quall. I’ll go ahead and, here, I hand Scanlan the Hunk of Quall

LIAM: Isn’t Quall’s Hunk just for Quall’s stuff? Or is it for everything?

SAM: It just finds magical things, right?

LIAM: I thought it was just for his special stuff.

MARISHA: It finds things with magical essences.

TRAVIS: Scanlan, she’s metaphorically handing you the Quall.

MARISHA: Here, do you want the Hunk of Quall? Do you want to hang onto it?

SAM: Sure, I’ll Quall it.

MATT: Okay, make an arcana check.

SAM: Ooh! 20.

MATT: It sparks for a second, then goes dark again. Looking at it, it seems like whatever it was designed to find, it has found and expended most of its temporary enchantment.

LAURA: Lame.

MARISHA: Boo.

SAM: So it doesn’t do anything. So then I’ll scan through the stuff, looking for magical dope items–

MATT: Make an investigation check.

LAURA: Are there any pretty paintings that grab our attention?

MATT: There are some very pretty paintings.

TRAVIS: We’re not taking any paintings.

LAURA: I could roll it up, Grog, it’s not your call!

TRAVIS: They’re very heavy.

SAM: I got a 14, anyone want to help me look for magical scheisse?

ASHLEY: I’ll help, I’ll help you look!

MATT: So the armored gnome, Pike, leaps onto the pile of gold coins and eagerly sifts through with her giant ogre-ish hands.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: I just rolled a one.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: There’s nothing magical here, at all!

SAM: Keyleth, you wanna help?

MARISHA: Huh?

SAM: Just look for magical shit.

MARISHA: I’m covered in– I mean, I can–

SAM: Grog? Grog, look for magic.

TRAVIS: Uh, I rolled a 16.

SAM: (laughs) That’s better than us!

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Hold on!

MATT: His large size allows him to push through large swaths of the pile of coins. You do pull through what appears to be a very, very fine ceramic jug that has runes carved along the sides, and it rightfully should have broken under the weight of most of the metal that had been placed upon it or shifted around.

TRAVIS: It’s almost all broken anyway.

ALL: No!

SAM: Do any of us recognise the type of runes–

LIAM: That really seems right up your alley, buddy, but I think–

ASHLEY: Can I try reading the runes?

MATT: You may. Go ahead and make an arcana check. Actually, yeah, this would be arcana.

ASHLEY: Just, arcana check?

LAURA: Come on!

ASHLEY: 16?

MATT: 16? It’s not a specific language, they’re all basic magical runes that are used in transmutation magic. You’re not too familiar with anything in this realm, but transmutation is the most you can get out of it.

MARISHA: Hang on, wait, Grog! Grog, come here.

TRAVIS: Okay.

MARISHA: I cast Create Water and I fill the jug with water.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: It explodes.

TRAVIS: If I die because of this…

(laughter)

TRAVIS: (explosion)

MATT: What’s interesting is, as you take the jug from him, it’s empty but you still hear sloshing, even though it’s empty as you hold it before you. You put water into it. It swishes around.

TRAVIS: Can I tip it upside down?

MATT: Yep, you tip it upside down, and the water spills out.

TRAVIS: Anything else?

MATT: Nope.

TRAVIS: Can I shake it? Any more swishing?

MATT: You shake it, you still hear the swishing, yeah.

TRAVIS: Can I put my head in the jug?

MATT: You do. (muffled) It blocks it, quite a bit. Your voice is ringing in your ears.

TRAVIS: Can I shake the jug?

MATT: You still hear, around you (sloshing).

TRAVIS: What is this witchcraft?

(laughter)

MARISHA: Do you hear the ocean, Grog? Do you hear the ocean?

TRAVIS: (echoes) No, no, no, no.

LIAM: Bored, Vax starts tossing gold coins off of Grog’s junk while it’s on there.

TRAVIS: What! What the hell?

LIAM: They’re very small.

TRAVIS: Oh. Come on, let me break it! It’s obviously broken.

ALL: No!

ASHLEY: Can I try taking a sip?

MATT: Sure, what are you– You just take it?

ASHLEY: Just seeing if I can just drink anything in there.

MATT: You tip it, nothing comes out of it.

ASHLEY: Aww. I thought something cool was going to happen.

LAURA: If you reach your hand in it, can you touch the bottom of it?

MATT: Yeah, you feel the bottom. It’s all dry ceramic.

TALIESIN: I’m going to take the jug. I’m going to put some of the dragon blood that’s drying out in the jug and swirl it around a little bit.

MATT: It swishes around.

TALIESIN: And pour it out.

MATT: It pours onto the ground.

TALIESIN: It’s just blood?

MATT: It’s just blood.

MARISHA: I scoop up a little bit of dirt and I put the dirt in the jug.

MATT: You have dirt in the jug

MARISHA: Dump it out.

SAM: This is a filthy jug.

MATT: You turn it over and dirt falls across the ground before you.

(laughter)

LAURA: Oh, what the fuck?

SAM: Oh, I put some semen in it.

LAURA: Gross!

TALIESIN: No!

SAM: I think that’s the magic!

TRAVIS: Literally some sailors that are at sea? Yeah.

TALIESIN: A baby comes out. Now this is your responsibility.

MATT: You go to the docks of Emon. No. You’ll have to take some time with this to discern what it actually does.

SAM: All right, we’ll just hang onto it.

ASHLEY: What if it’s just like a Jug of Holding? Like you could just keep putting stuff in it?

LAURA: Yeah, but everything’s been pouring out but there’s still something in the bottom of it.

TALIESIN: Let’s take it to an expert, we’ll find out later.

LIAM: There are smarter people than us.

MATT: You also find amongst this chaos a number of glass shards, and you start discerning that there are a number of empty vials that were shattered and broken across the floor in this area and across the coins. A bunch of empty vials.

LAURA: Potions all mixing together?

MATT: A lot of things that were seemingly recently used in the recovery of the large entity. However, there is one unbroken vial that you see that contains a cloudy grey oil that swishes around on the inside; some of it tends to seep through the glass, almost, and then evaporate instantaneously on touching the air.

LAURA: Ooh! Who wants this creepy looking shit?

SAM: I’ll take it! Can I? Have I seen anything like this before?

MATT: You haven’t, actually.

SAM: Dammit. Can I sniff it to get any clues?

MATT: You sniff it and it smells metallic, strangely, as you pull the stopper off. It’s not liquid, it’s more like a thick oil. It’s very viscous and slowly swishes in place as you rotate the glass.

LAURA: I bet Gilmore would know what that was.

SAM: I’ll hang onto this for now. It might be massage oil.

LAURA: What?

SAM: You never know.

MATT: You never know. You do also rummage through. You find another unbroken– the glass itself is cracked a little bit, but it’s still intact– what appears to be a small brown, silver and gray layered liquid. It’s like three different layers that are all sediment and separate from each other, based on how it’s been laying there.

LAURA: Ahh! Should we put this inside another glass container so if it breaks, it’s okay?

TALIESIN: Honestly, I think just putting it in the biological–

LAURA: The Bag of Colding?

TALIESIN: –the Bag of Colding. Might be wise.

LAURA: All right. Layered gray-brown potion is what I’m writing.

MATT: It’s got layers of brown, silver and grey.

TRAVIS: So mostly grey.

MARISHA: It’s like a birthday cake shot?

MATT: Kind of. And then as you push the last of the coins in this hole that you’ve made in the side of the wall to hide it out of the way, you do also find at the very bottom of this what looks like an old book of some kind, like a tome, it’s about this big with a heavy thick leather binding around it.

LAURA: Can we read it?

SAM: No, this could be the spellbook.

TRAVIS: Oh, yeah! Dres Vina’s–

MARISHA: Dres Vina’s spellbook?

TRAVIS: Abjurist Noja’s.

MARISHA: Abjurist Noja, that’s right.

SAM: Abjurist Noja’s. Does it look like a spellbook? Have we seen a spellbook before?

MATT: You look through and as you open it up, the words are scrambled and, as you focus for a second, they seem to reassemble them in Common. And as you read through, the first page has a large title across the top that says: “Tome of Leadership and Influence.”

LIAM: This is special.

LAURA: It is! Who should read it? I want to read it right now!

SAM: Well, only some of us can read, no offense.

TRAVIS: Fuck off. Are there any pictures in the book?

MATT: There are no pictures, it is pure text. Your favorite.

TRAVIS: Completely worthless. It’s awful cold–

LAURA: If Grog looks at it, does it reassemble itself in stick figures?

MATT: It’s interesting. You look at the pages, and the lines don’t make sense to you but for some reason you understand the gist of what the content is. It goes beyond the barrier of language and, for a second, it’s almost like there are pictures, but the pictures are assembled by a bunch of tiny lines in a row and different shapes that show you what it means!

TRAVIS: See, it’s a book about leadership, clearly it wants to communicate something to me–

ASHLEY: Intelligence–

TRAVIS: Intelligence, right, thank you.

LIAM: This is like the Grognak comic book in Fallout, is what this is.

MARISHA: See, I was going to say How to Win Friends and Influence People.

SAM: As the unofficial leader of the group–

LAURA: Yeah? Really Scanlan?

SAM: –I don’t really need the book. So perhaps Percy should look at it.

TALIESIN: I was thinking perhaps Keyleth might actually–

LAURA: That’s true! You do have a people to rule. Both of you do.

TALIESIN: Yeah, Keyleth, perhaps, might want to take this book. I am not leading anyone.

MARISHA: Thank you, Scanlan. Thank you.

TRAVIS: Keyleth, you wanna trade the book for this stupid vase?

SAM: It’s not Secret Santa, we’re not trading things.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Fine.

MARISHA: I mean, I guess because I happen to be holding the vase at the time, sure. No you can– you can have it

TRAVIS: I can have the book?!

MARISHA: No, you can have the vase.

ASHLEY: Wait, what’s the book? The book is Leadership and what?

MATT: Leadership and Influence. If you guys want to take the evening to kind of look over these items, you could probably discern most of the nature of them. SAM: Okay, well, let’s do that. Let’s take a look at them overnight.

MARISHA: I’m going to continue eviscerating a dragon.

MATT: You get to the point where you guys, late into the night, have carved away roughly 40 functional pounds of hide before you’re exhausted. You’re exhausted and there’s still plenty of hide to pull off of, but it would take you a week and you can notice the more you go, the scent is changing. It’s almost like the acidic contents of the body are beginning to accelerate decomposition. It is actually, essentially, now that the body is no longer living, the acidic bile that it usually utilizes as a weapon is slowly consuming its remains.

TALIESIN: I’m perfectly content with 40.

MARISHA: Yeah, we can make a decent amount of armor with 40 pounds–

MATT: So whoever wants to carry that, because it’s got to be carried, because the Bag of Holding is full.

TRAVIS: I’ll take it.

ASHLEY: I can carry some. I’m strong.

LAURA: How much does the biological bag hold?

MATT: The biological bag holds 100 pounds.

LAURA: I could put some in there. I don’t have very much in here. It’s all light.

MATT: Okay, so there you go.

MARISHA: Yeah. Cool, cool, cool.

LAURA: So 40 pounds? I’ll mark that down.

MATT: So 40 pounds of black dragon hide.

TRAVIS: You’re carrying around 100 pounds of shit?

LAURA: It’s magic, it’s weightless.

MATT: The Bag of Colding. The bag itself weighs five pounds to her, but can contain 100 pounds. So, as you guys work through the evening, who’s looking over which items? Who’s looking over the book?

SAM: I’m looking over the book.

TRAVIS: Will you stand up there and get me the vase?

MATT: There is the vase for Grog–

LAURA: Was there other things to look at? I’ll look at the vial that I have, the layered one.

TRAVIS: Gimme. Gimme!

TALIESIN: I’m going to sit and try and get my gun working again–

LIAM: They’re no good for me, but I think last week you said something about spears or javelins or something?

MATT: There are various basic weapons in there, but nothing that comes across as anything beyond well-crafted weaponry that was gathered. LIAM: There any shortswords in the pile?

MATT: There are a couple. A lot of them have been dinged up and wrecked but there are two regular shortswords that seem to be functional and not damaged too heavily.

LIAM: I’m going to scoop them up

MATT: Okay. So two shortswords.

TALIESIN: I don’t know how I even feel about that.

MATT: So, Percy? The level of broken that Bad News is would require a workshop of some kind. Even just basic blacksmithing tools–

TALIESIN: I was going to use the workshop that’s in the house.

MATT: Okay, if you guys want to go and rest in the house, then that’s doable.

SAM: Yes, I’m doing the house.

MATT: Okay, all of you hop into Scanlan’s Mordenkainen’s Magnificent Mansion.

LIAM: Yeah! Chicken!

MATT: Get yourself a delightful chicken dinner.

SAM: I know what that spell is, you just pass through walls like a ghost.

MARISHA: Through walls and stuff, yeah. So what’s that deal?

SAM: This is +2 to charisma, permanently.

TRAVIS: This is fucking brilliant.

LAURA: Does anybody need– Who’s shit at climbing?

SAM: Pike?

ASHLEY: Hey!

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Wait a minute! Am I shit at climbing?

MATT: No, your strength’s pretty high. You can rock climb.

ASHLEY: I’m strong!

LAURA: Oh, it’s based on strength?

MATT: Climbing is, yeah.

LAURA: Oh, we’re shit at climbing!

LIAM: I’m okay.

LAURA: I’m shit.

LIAM: Oh, hey, by the way. Take your fucking shoes off and give them back to me.

LAURA: Oh what, these fabulous shoes that fit me perfectly?

LIAM: Yeah, give them to me or I’ll just take them while you’re sleeping, easily.

LAURA: You think you could do that, like I wouldn’t notice you sneaking up?

LIAM: So fucking easily.

LAURA: I don’t believe it!

LIAM: Keep your boots, then. See if they’re there in the morning.

LAURA: All right.

MATT: (laughs) As you all find yourselves to rest within the confines, the comfortable confines, of Scanlan’s mansion, Percy, I want you to go ahead and make a tinkering check.

TALIESIN: That’s tinkering is plus four, plus proficiency bonus, plus a d20, if I recall?

MATT: It’s proficiency bonus, plus your dex for the purposes of fixing this.

TALIESIN: Okay, that’s even better. That’ll do. 20.

MATT: 20, okay. It takes you most of the evening. You’ll rest up but we’ll say for the purposes of this you’ve only regained two hit dice for the evening’s rest, of your spent hit dice.

TALIESIN: Okay. So I’m just down two hit dice?

MATT: Yeah. Any that you’ve used, if you used any, you don’t recover any but two. Normally you’d recover half of your unused hit dice right now. The gun is fixed, the materials that you were required to use will cost you half as much as the actual weapon is worth.

TALIESIN: Lord almighty.

MATT: Which, let me look at my list here for that– It’s going to come to roughly 400 gold in materials to repair.

TALIESIN: I thought it was a more expensive gun than that, I feel a little better. Oh, that’s right, it’s the cheap gun of the two.

LAURA: What about the Bad News? You broke that one too, didn’t you?

TALIESIN: That was Bad News. The other gun was working. I broke it but it was just jammed. Bad News was like (creaking).

MATT: All right, so the evening’s rest goes relatively uneventful.

SAM: I’ve commanded ten of my invisible guards to protect Vex’s feet.

(laughter)

MATT: Okay! Vax?

LIAM: So in the middle of the night, I’d like to swing by the kitchen–

LAURA: I’m sleeping with them tucked up under me. I’m going to sleep like, you know how little kids sleep with their butts in the air and their feet are tucked under them? That’s how I’m– yeah.

MATT: (laughs) Okay!

LIAM: Okay. I go by the kitchen and I get a mug of water and some spices. Just some various, simple stuff– I’d like to sneak into my sister’s room. I’d like to check the door for traps.

MATT: Go ahead and make an investigation check!

LIAM: It’s not very high. Oh, no, yes it is. It’s a 20.

MATT: All right, it does not appear to be trapped, however it is locked.

LIAM: Okay, I’d like to pick that lock.

LAURA: Do I notice this happening?

LIAM: 30. You’re sleeping.

LAURA: Yeah, but I have a really good passive perception, bitch!

LIAM: All right, 30 on the trap.

MATT: Right, on the lock you mean–

LIAM: On the lock, yeah– I’d like to sneak in.

MATT: Ever so quiet, you make it into the room. Pull the door close to closed, but not entirely. You look up in what little bit of low firelight is coming from a distant fireplace in the far corner that’s down to very, very simple embers, you see drifting in a semi-circle around the bed, ten spiritual servants, all arms crossed, just staring right at you–

LIAM: Protecting her feet, right? That was the command.

SAM: Protect her feet. That was the command.

LIAM: I walk in. They’re not on her feet. I want nothing to do with her feet, guys, I just want those shoes that she’s hugging.

LAURA: No, I have the shoes on my feet–

LIAM: You said you were hugging them up here like this.

LAURA: No, no, no. I said I’m sleeping with my feet tucked up under me.

LIAM: Like how? Like Cirque du Soleil?

LAURA: Like child’s pose, Like child’s pose! Yoga, bitch! You know what I’m talking about–

LIAM: With your feet here?

LAURA: No! Like this.

LIAM: That’s what you said!

LAURA: Here I’ll show you. Sorry, guys, you don’t get to see– But it’s like this, Liam–

SAM: Oh, that’s so vulgar!

LAURA: No, it’s not!

(laughter)

LIAM: Okay, guys, this is a little bit of family trouble, just give me a minute. And I leap on top of her, I take the cup of water and I splash it in her face and I throw flour on her face like that!

LAURA: What?! What the fuck?!

LIAM: Give me my boots! Give me my boots! You give me my damn boots!

(laughter)

MATT: You are immediately pulled off of the bed, slammed onto the ground on the floor–

LIAM: I don’t get to roll?!

MATT: –as all the spirits hold you down. No.

LIAM: No dexterity, no nothing?!

MATT: No, because the moment that you go ahead and splash the water and go towards her, they’re on top of you, this isn’t about dodging–

LIAM: I left her feet alone!

LAURA: Wait, wait, wait. What’s happening? Don’t attack him! Don’t attack him!

MATT: Right. It was less of you trying to avoid and more to see if they could grab you.

LIAM: Yeah, okay.

(laughter)

MATT: So you’re vaulted off and slammed onto the ground and they’re just holding you there. Not attacking you, they’re just holding you–

LIAM: Give me my boots, you greedy shitbird.

LAURA: What? You think I was really going to keep them?

LIAM: I want them now. I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you. I want you to– just keep holding me up, guys. I want you to put them on my feet now.

LAURA: But they look so good on me. And your feet are so smelly! Are you– are you mad?

LIAM: I gave up my life for you. I will have my shoes. Please.

LAURA: All right.

MATT: One of the servants begins slowly going towards your foot and (sniffs).

(laughter)

LAURA: They’re smelly, they’re really smelly. See?

LIAM: We should cap ‘em, right boys?

LAURA: What if–?

SAM: You think any of my servants are boys?

(laughter)

LIAM: I assume they have both sets of parts, actually–

SAM: That’s true, that’s true.

(laughter)

LAURA: I suppose I could part with them.

LIAM: Waiting.

LAURA: Wait, wait, wait. Ahh! I’m not putting them on your feet.

LIAM: Sure you are.

LAURA: No, I am not! But before I do, I want payment, for these boots. What’s going on with you and Keyleth?

(laughter)

LAURA: Right here. I’ll give you these boots if you tell me.

LIAM: I could rescind my deal with an all-powerful deity and let you fall to the ground or you could hear about my personals. What’s your choice?

LAURA: What?

LIAM: Give me my fucking boots!

LAURA: You love her? You love her so much. Take one, right here. You could put it on, cover up at least one foul stench in the room.

LIAM: No, I can’t because they’re holding me around the arms–

MATT: Two of the servants take the boot from her and start putting it on your feet. Kind of polish it a little bit.

LAURA: Does she feel the same way about you?

LIAM: Ask her.

LAURA: (gasps) Maybe I will. Fine. Here’s your other boot. Servants–

MATT: They take it and they hold you down even still forcefully, grab your other leg and gingerly put the other boot on. Polish it–

LAURA: Now go to sleep, we fought a dragon yesterday.

LIAM: (laughs) I love you, but you are a terrible person. And I walk out the door.

MATT: (laughs) And you walk away.

LAURA: (coughs) I spend 15 minutes getting all the flour off of my bed.

MARISHA: I go to Scanlan. Scanlan?

SAM: Oi?

MARISHA: Did I hear you had a hot spring, or something like that? Or like a spa here? I feel like you’d have a spa– Because I am covered in dragon bile.

SAM: Ooh, yes. Well–

MARISHA: Not. no, no.

SAM: No?

MARISHA: Just, can you point me in the direction of the spa?

SAM: Oh, I’m not coming with you. Don’t worry, darling. Yes, it’s downstairs in the third basement– I don’t know!

(laughter)

MARISHA: Thank you!

MATT: You hear a (stone shifting) shift as a third basement is created in the bottom of the mansion–

SAM: Right next to the boiler room!

MATT: Another shake as a boiler room has now apparated right next–

MARISHA: Is it a very fantastic bathhouse?

MATT: It’s not bad, actually. It’s a fine natural hot spring, a comfortable hot tub temperature.

SAM: It’s got Russian temperature, Swedish temperature, Finnish temperature–

MARISHA: I go over the comms and I say: hey, Vex, Pike, I think I just found the new hangout spot for the ladies–

ASHLEY: Where are you?

MARISHA: I’m in the third basement, come down!

TALIESIN: There’s a third basement?

TRAVIS: What’s in the third basement?

SAM: Yeah, we can all hear you–

TALIESIN: Yeah we can all hear you. You can’t just pick people, you are aware of that?

MARISHA: Oh, I mean. Shit! Uh. This is not Keyleth, this is another transmission you’re picking up, it’s– I’ll change the channel

TRAVIS: (shouting) Party down in the third basement!

LAURA: All right, let’s go down.

TRAVIS: We’re all going down.

MATT: So, ladies, you all convene in this beautiful hot, air filled with steam. There’s a fountain in the corner with some rocks and some nice plants around the area. There’s a beautiful giant portrait of Scanlan, nude, sprawled over a rock–

(laughter)

MATT: With a towel just gently placed on his knee.

(laughter)

SAM: Not covering anything.

MATT: No, no. It’s decorative. As soon as you all sink in this moment, the door opens behind you as Percy and Grog come storming in.

TRAVIS: Shit yeah! CANNONBALL!

LAURA: Well, this was peaceful–

TRAVIS: Heh! Look at Scanlan’s wiener in that picture. (laughs)

ASHLEY: I’m going to cannonball in too.

MATT: Pike jumps in–

TALIESIN: I’m taking off my glasses and going to go soak in a corner quietly.

LAURA: I go find Keyleth.

MATT: All right, so you guys have made your way comfortable into the hot spring. Vex saunters over to you with a look of intention on her face.

MARISHA: You look so intent.

LAURA: Yes. Do you like the hot springs?

MARISHA: I love the hot springs, aren’t they fantastic?

LAURA: I do too. I sit down next to her. So my brother.

MARISHA: (coughs)

LAURA: What’s going on with you guys? Because I just asked him and he got really awkward. I mean, is it for real? Is it definitely happening? Are you guys “in love?” Getting married? Having babies? Little druid babies?

MARISHA: Oh wow, you just said a lot of things in a very short space of time. You know, we just killed a dragon.

LAURA: We did.

MARISHA: We just killed a dragon.

LAURA: I know, I feel so alive!

MARISHA: Okay. So that’s about as far as I got. I wasn’t sure if I was going to, you know, live past that. I wasn’t sure if he was going to live past that. I wasn’t sure if you were going to live past that. Really, any of us–

LAURA: But we did.

MARISHA: Yeah we did, we did. Now there’s three more. And I have a lot that I still have to do and still have to figure out about myself.

LAURA: So do you like him? Do you love him? That’s an answer, you can just answer it, it’s not a big deal, you just say yes or no–

MARISHA: (sighs) I’m afraid what will happen if I say yes.

LAURA: Okay, that’s not what I asked, though. Don’t think about the fear. Think about what you’re feeling.

MARISHA: Maybe.

LAURA: (whispering) I think that’s a yes.

MARISHA: Will you hate me if I do?

LAURA: No.

MARISHA: You sure? Because I kind of thought you might for a very long time.

LAURA: You know. I thought I might as well, but here’s the thing. We’ve been through a lot. We face death on a very regular basis. (sighs) And I see the way he looks at you, and I see the way you look at him. And happiness is fleeting in this world; we don’t know when it will end. Take advantage of it while you can. And stop living in fear.

MARISHA: Maybe we’re not people who are allowed happiness.

LAURA: That’s bullshit, Keyleth.

MARISHA: And what happens if I lose either of you?

LAURA: Well, you go on. You can’t think about that!

MARISHA: You’ve been to the other side. What did you see? Anything? Is there an afterlife?

LAURA: Well, I wasn’t there for very long, but I think there can be. My brother serves Death, Keyleth!

MARISHA: And death is a natural thing that happens with or without him.

LAURA: This is true!

MARISHA: Do you believe in the gods? Do you believe that Vax actually serves Death?

LAURA: Yes. Yes I do.

MARISHA: What do you think that means for the rest of us?

LAURA: I think it means that– I think it means that what we do has a purpose. Regardless of the outcome, there is a purpose.

MARISHA: You don’t think we’re just destroying everything, everywhere we go?

LAURA: No! Are you kidding? We saved an entire town today! More dragons may come, but for the time being, people are safe, and we are safe. If we are successful, we could save this entire fucking world.

MARISHA: (laughs) I don’t know if I’m cut out to be a hero.

LAURA: You already are.

MARISHA: (groans) I don’t know about that.

LAURA: Anyway. Be happy. Go to him. Just live in the moment, don’t worry about it right now.

MARISHA: Maybe there’s another time and another place where we don’t have to. But now I feel like we do.

LAURA: We’re in a mansion right now. Fucking cannonball! And I get up and I cannonball.

MATT: Big splash. Hot water across your face–

TRAVIS: Four and a half!

LAURA: All right. I need a higher– I need a broom!

MATT: Servants come by and fill your goblets that they brought you, with wine, because, drinking in hot tubs, what could possibly go wrong?

LIAM: Did you just cannonball away?

LAURA: I did.

LIAM: We all do it, we all do it.

ASHLEY: Should we have a cannonball contest?

MARISHA: I cast Breathing Underwater on myself and I just sink to the bottom of the pool and I just stay there for a really long time at the bottom of the pool.

MATT: Do you have Water Breathing prepared? Or was this your Alter Self gills?

MARISHA: Alter Self! Yeah, totally! Gills. I can do that.

MATT: So the sides of Keyleth’s throat just sprout gills suddenly and naturally and she sinks underneath.

TRAVIS: (shouting) Keyleth! No! No! And I run over and pick her up off the bottom, which is essentially suffocating her, right?

MATT: Grog pulls you out of the water and shakes you abruptly

MARISHA: Wha–! Ow!

TRAVIS: Gills, sorry. And I shove her back in the water.

(laughter)

MATT: Back under.

MARISHA: And I just let myself sink again

(laughter)

LIAM: On a side note, I have an earring as well and I heard everyone go down into the hot springs so I went back to the kitchen and got some of that chicken sorbet that they make here.

MATT: It’s delicious.

LIAM: And I went back to my sister’s room and I pulled the blanket down and I just smeared it all along the inside of the bed. And then I bring up the blanket and tuck it in nice. It looks perfect.

MATT: The ten servants watch the whole thing and just nod, well done.

LAURA: That’s disgusting!

SAM: They had their orders.

TALIESIN: You are the worst of us.

LIAM: Goodnight boy-girls.

SAM: (husky voice) Goodnight.

TRAVIS: Wait, is Percy in the water?

MATT: Yeah, Percy’s in the water with you guys.

ASHLEY: You got in? No, he went into the corner?

TRAVIS: Did you do a cannonball?

TALIESIN: No, I do not cannonball.

LAURA: Cannonball, Percy!

TALIESIN: I do not cannonball!

TRAVIS: Percy!

TALIESIN: I can’t wear my glasses, I’m going to hit something and I’m just going to bleed everywhere

ASHLEY: A cannonball contest?

SAM: You want to do a cannonball contest?

ASHLEY: Let’s do a cannonball contest.

TALIESIN: Fine. If there’s a dare involved, that’s completely different.

ASHLEY: How much money should we put on it?

SAM: 15,000 gold.

(laughter)

LAURA: How about five pounds of gems?

SAM: Sure. Do we all have that?

LAURA: No, but I have it and I’ll put it in the middle.

SAM: All right. Five pounds of gems.

MATT: Five pounds of gems.

SAM: I haven’t been here, but I wander in eating some chicken with no pants.

(laughter)

MATT: You just got Donald Ducked, guys!

LAURA: Scanlan! Oh Scanlan! Your painting! Your painting is not accurate, Scanlan!

SAM: Oh. No, of course not. It’s artistic licence. Come on.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Did they run out of paint, is that what happened?

SAM: All right, the rules: Everyone gets one jump to be officiated by–? Who? Sarenrae?

LAURA: Somebody has to– by your servants.

SAM: They’ll vote for me.

(laughter)

MARISHA: Wait! What are we doing? We’re doing a cannonball contest?

MARISHA: Oh, I’ll join this. I swim back up to the top to join.

SAM: Can you officiate? Are you going to join or are you in too much of a funk to?

ASHLEY: Grog can officiate. Be fair.

TRAVIS: I will!

ASHLEY: But vote for me.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LAURA: Who’s up first?

MATT: Who’s going first?

SAM: Alphabetical order.

ASHLEY: Keyleth!

MARISHA: Oh sure.

MATT: So, Keyleth. You go ahead and swim up, take some time back, rush forward, leap. Make an–

MARISHA: We’ve had a short rest, right?

MATT: Correct.

MARISHA: Okay. Acrobatics check?

MATT: No, this is an athletics check. This is a jump, leap and–

MARISHA: Not bad. 19.

LAURA: Oh, that’s good.

MATT: She jumps into the air, seemingly weightless–

MARISHA: And in midair, I use my bonus action to turn into an earth elemental!

MATT: Turns into an almost literal cannonball, displaces enough water to the point where the actual water level in the hot spring, now, is about two inches lower than it was before–

TALIESIN: I’m going upstairs to get a bottle of raw sodium.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: It’s on, motherfucker!

MARISHA: I come out. Yeah!

ASHLEY: That was good, that was good, that was good!

TALIESIN: Actually, I send a servant. I tell them what it is.

MARISHA: Can we refill the pool after each use? Is it magical enough to where we can refill the pool?

SAM: Sure, there’s a trickle–

ASHLEY: Hey, it’s my turn! Do a little stretching.

MATT: Do you have your gauntlets on or not?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: So you’re just like–

ASHLEY: Naked with gauntlets.

MATT: You’re not wearing anything?

ASHLEY: Nope!

SAM: But you can’t see her naughty bits because they glow with heavenly light.

LIAM: Here come the artists!

TRAVIS: The sound of 10,000 pens hitting paper.

MATT: So this strong, stout, powerful gnomish female form steps out of the water with these large gauntlets with an ogre face across the back. Looms up, gets a good distance, turns around, focuses, leaps. Make an athletics check.

TRAVIS: Squash that! Ooh, snip diggity!

LAURA: Oh shit!

ASHLEY: 23?

MATT: Amazing as your earth elemental form was, it displaced about the size an earth elemental would. Pike’s much smaller form managed to displace about as much as an earth elemental would. Water goes flying out, spraying you guys. The water itself takes a while to actually calm down again–

TRAVIS: I actually slip and fall backwards like–

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Whoa!

ASHLEY: Whoa, that was a big one!

(laughter)

MATT: Who’s up next?

LAURA: Percy.

TALIESIN: I’m not done, I’m still working on something.

ASHLEY: Oh, wait, you should have gone before me. I’m sorry.

TALIESIN: I’m working on something, you go next. I’ve got a pot and some cloth, and a whole thing–

LAURA: Oh, I’m the only one that’s left?

SAM: No, I’m here too! L, M, N, P, Q, R, S. That’s me! Oh boy.

ASHLEY: Sorry I jumped you, Percy– He was gone, that’s why.

SAM: I’m going to take a flying leap and jump in while cannonballing.

MATT: All right, athletics check.

SAM: Sploosh. That’s an 11.

(laughter)

SAM: And when I hit the water I set off a level two Thunderwave.

(laughter)

MATT: So Scanlan doesn’t sprint but gingerly jogs up to the side of the pool, leaps in the air. It sends waves out from each side and drenches all of you waiting on the side again–

(laughter)

MATT: As the water comes rushing back, slapping into you, Scanlan, after the fact but, nevertheless, a very impressive display.

SAM: Why, thank you. Take a bow, take a bow.

ASHLEY: Good job, good job.

SAM: Thank you, thank you. Percy, are you back yet?

TALIESIN: I’m ready.

MATT: All right.

TALIESIN: I’ve got a kettle–

(laughter)

TALIESIN: And what is essentially a giant cheesecloth teabag of raw sodium in an oil holding base. You are aware of what will happen when I hit the water?

MATT: Yep.

TALIESIN: Okay, cool. I grab the kettle. I put it to my chest. I take a run, and I leap into–

MARISHA: Isn’t this is detrimental to your health?!

TALIESIN: Yes, this is a terrible idea. Do not do this. Do not do this. You will die. And I take a run and jump head into the–

MARISHA: (shouting) Percy, no!

MATT: Make an athletics check.

TALIESIN: Not acrobatics? Athletics. 23

MATT: 23, okay. So, as you land and hit the water, there’s a momentary pause, a little (sploosh, explosion sound). A secondary explosion that sounds dulled and covered until it hits the air in a loud cacophonous (explosion sound). Water and smoke and pieces of metal go flying as the kettle is destroyed. You, Percy, suffer–

TALIESIN: Should have mostly directed down but I’m aware that some–

MATT: Yeah. 23 points of bludgeoning and piercing damage from shrapnel and pieces of metal that have just scattered across your chest but nevertheless, a very impressive display.

LIAM: For science!

ASHLEY: Total Party Kill cannonball!

TRAVIS: I look down and pull out a small piece of the kettle out of my pectoral and toss it away. That was very impressive, all of you. I’m very impressed. It seems that–

SAM: The twins!

MATT: The twins haven’t gone.

TRAVIS: Oh, oh! I’m so sorry.

LAURA: It’s all right, Grog.

TRAVIS: No, no. Get it. Go do it.

LAURA: All right. I take my broom.

LIAM: Here comes the bellyflop–

LAURA: I know, right? I fly 20 feet up. As high as the ceiling. How high is the ceiling?

SAM: Not that high.

LAURA: I get to the top of the ceiling.

MATT: Okay, it’s about 15, 20 feet up from the water’s surface.

LAURA: All right. I stand up on the broom.

MATT: Ceiling’s right above you. You’re having to hunch forward a little bit.

LAURA: And right as I cannonball off of the broom, I release Trinket out of the necklace too so (shouting) double cannonball!

MATT: As you leap off, make an athletics check.

LAURA: 13!

MATT: Make an athletics check for Trinket.

LAURA: Oh, man. I thought that was going to be good. Me and Trinket kind of suck. What is that, strength?

MATT: Strength, yes.

LAURA: 16.

MATT: 16. As you hit the water, there’s a (double splooshing sound) as a bear is suddenly placed magically into the water beneath you at the same velocity, causing the water itself to splash outward, in a large column, a spray that gently comes down around the sides of the initial splash. Impressive, a very impressive display.

SAM: Impressive. And she didn’t really use magic, so that’s good. Bonus points there.

MATT: Trinket eventually comes out of the water. (growl, shaking coat sound) Shakes off.

LIAM: Is the judging of this up to artistic interpretation, like ice skating?

SAM: That’s up to Grog!

TRAVIS: Well done, all around. Really, I’m really quite impressed. However, there was only one–

ASHLEY: Hang on. He still has to go.

LAURA: No, he’s not in the room.

ASHLEY: He’s not in the room.

TRAVIS: Yeah, wait. Is Vax going to do it? Is he coming down?

LAURA: Is he stealthing right now and he’s actually in the room?

SAM: I don’t think so.

LIAM: (snoring)

TRAVIS: No, there was only one that managed to draw blood with their display. Therefore, Percy is the winner.

(applause)

SAM: Well met, well met. Five pounds of gems?

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: He needs it!

MATT: He takes it and smiles as the blood slowly runs from one nostril–

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Oh man!

TALIESIN: Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to sleep off this spa.

(laughter)

LIAM: Those gems are going to turn into lead, aren’t they?

TALIESIN: Got plans for one of them–

MATT: He takes the gems in one hand, takes the towel, wraps it around as he steps out of the water with the other and makes his way outside of the spa.

TALIESIN: Leaving a little trail of blood all the way down the corridor.

(laughter)

SAM: Good game, good game.

MATT: All righty.

TRAVIS: Well, I’m going to bed.

LAURA: All right, all right.

MATT: All right. You guys go, find your way to your respective rooms, rest for the remainder of the evening. Wake up to the smell of wonderfully cooked chicken wafting through the hallways of the mansion. The only person that has a unique evening’s sleeping is Vex, who slides into her comfortable, silk sheet bed to a (sucking sound) to find some sort of now chilled but loosely room-temperature chicken paste–

LAURA: That is just disgusting.

TALIESIN: Don’t you mean, that’s fowl?

(groaning)

TRAVIS: Oh! Fowl!

LAURA: I don’t even care. Trinket loves it.

MATT: And Trinket is all over that. Trinket is now just lapping it up from the inside of the bed–

LAURA: Yeah. I just go to sleep and I’ll take a shower in the morning.

MATT: Okay. All right. You all wake up. Breakfast is at your disposal. You begin to eat comfortably, you wash up, Vex–

LAURA: A lot.

MATT: Is there anything else you wish to achieve here or shall we continue with the rest of your journey?

SAM: Well, we just have a few things to divvy up. I’ve learned about the book that we found from the dragon. It is filled with knowledge that can increase someone’s abilities.

LAURA: What abilities?

SAM: The abilities that I happen to be very good at would be even better.

LAURA: Hmm.

MARISHA: I don’t want any part of that.

SAM: It’s not my sex abilities.

MARISHA: Oh, oh. Okay.

SAM: Actually, technically yes. Technically, yes. My sex ability–

LAURA: What abilities? (laughs)

SAM: Charismatic abilities.

LAURA: Oh?

ASHLEY: Oh, it just gives you, you have all the charisma?

SAM: Permanently better charisma.

LAURA: Well, Keyleth, as you make that awkward-ass face, maybe you should improve your charisma.

LIAM: You smell like chicken.

LAURA: Yeah, somebody put chicken paste in my bed. I don’t know who it could be.

LIAM: Yeah, we’ve got to get out of this mansion.

LAURA: Yeah. Weird.

TRAVIS: Well, I also went to my room and I was like “Man, what I could really–” and I was holding the jug, at the time, and I was like, “I’m just going to break it, nobody’ll know–”

SAM: Oh shit!

TRAVIS: It’ll be great. And I was like, “I could really go for some beer right now,” and all of a sudden, the jug was full of shitloads of beer.

LAURA: What?!

TRAVIS: Yeah.

SAM: Is it a never-ending beer jug?

TRAVIS: Oh no, it’s not never-ending. It stopped after a bit. But I got plenty fucking wasted.

LAURA: Is it just beer?

SAM: Is it just beer? Or is it any spirit? Or what?

TRAVIS: No, I said “mayonnaise” and it started to make mayonnaise and then it stopped so I think there’s a finite amount of stuff it can make in a day.

(disconcerted oohs)

LAURA: Do you have a jug of mayonnaise now?

TRAVIS: No, I ate that too.

(laughter)

MATT: In the wee hours of the morning–

TALIESIN: There’s chicken!

LIAM: That was one of the best exchanges of our entire run!

ASHLEY: Oh my God.

TALIESIN: Wow!

MATT: So–

LAURA: Gross!

ASHLEY: I can’t stop laughing.

LIAM: Oh my goodness.

MATT: So, what else?

(laughter)

SAM: Okay, now you’re going to get a bunch of mayonnaise shipped to our PO box.

(laughter)

LAURA: No mayonnaise!

LIAM: Beer. Send beer, is fine.

MARISHA: Oh, that one brought tears.

ASHLEY: Please somebody draw him just sad in his room eating mayonnaise–

MATT: Scooping mayonnaise out of a jar.

TALIESIN: A Grecian urn of mayonnaise.

ASHLEY: Oh, my tears.

MATT: Saddest Winnie the Pooh ever–

SAM: I also found out that that one of the vials is a potion vial. It can temporarily give the drinker a spell of Etherealness. Which is like you temporarily turn into Casper the Friendly Ghost. You can pass through walls.

LAURA: Oh cool!

SAM: Anyone who drinks it.

MARISHA: Vax?

LAURA: Oh, that would be good for you.

MATT: Well, less drinking. More like applying.

SAM: Oh, it’s rubbing?

MATT: Yeah, it’s an oil.

LAURA: Oh, don’t drink it.

MATT: I would not recommend drinking it.

SAM: I can rub it on your back for you.

MARISHA: Yeah, you have to rub it on you.

LIAM: I’m all right with that.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: You’d need to use a stepping stool to do it, but you could.

LAURA: The other one was a Potion of Climbing, which we decided–

MARISHA: Does Pike want it? Oh, you?

SAM: No, it’s Vex.

LAURA: I suck at it, but anybody else can have it.

TRAVIS: Don’t you have a broom? You ain’t going to be climbing much.

LAURA: That’s true! I don’t need it. I have a broom!

TALIESIN: Actually, I might take it. High ground is occasionally very useful for me.

LAURA: I’ve got a broom that flies.

TALIESIN: And I’m not that strong.

MARISHA: What was the name of that tome again, Scanlan?

SAM: Tome of Leadership and Influence. I’m torn, Keyleth. You have some charisma issues, shall we say?

MARISHA: Uh-huh. No, keep telling me about myself, Scanlan, today.

SAM: Well, I’m just saying that I am quite self-confident, sure of myself. Some would say charming.

LAURA: Some. Not most.

SAM: And this book would make me unstoppably so–

MARISHA: Sure.

SAM: So, I don’t know, we could roshambo for it? What does the group think?

LIAM: I think Keyleth should read it. She’s trying to lead her people.

TRAVIS: Yeah. Roshambo for it.

MARISHA: I don’t want to– what? I don’t like wanting things. I don’t care, you–

LAURA: Who has– This is– who has charisma-based spells?

SAM: Me?

MATT: You.

LIAM: That’s a big fat pause, is what that is.

MATT: Yeah.

SAM: Why don’t we think on it?

MARISHA: All right, we’ll think on it.

TALIESIN: To be fair, it takes days.

SAM: It takes six days of reading to take effect.

LAURA: Oh shit. So if you read for two days and then pass it off to someone else, does it just restart?

MARISHA: No.

TALIESIN: It’s once a century it works.

TRAVIS: Oh shit! Once a century?

TALIESIN: I have a similar book, that I used–

LAURA: What did you use it on?

SAM: Yeah, you live for many centuries, Keyleth. You can have it nexties!

(laughter)

TALIESIN: That’s actually a very fair point.

TRAVIS: That’s kind of perfect.

TALIESIN: I was about to say, would you like a Manual of Quickness? Here, for you–

(laughter)

MARISHA: Oh, for the next century?

TALIESIN: So 99 years from now–

MARISHA: Sure, I’ll hold onto it for that long.

TRAVIS: When we’re all cold and dead!

TALIESIN: I was holding onto it in the hopes of finding somebody long-lived to sell it to.

SAM: Speaking of old, are some of us older than we used to be?

TRAVIS: Yeah!

MARISHA: Are we still old? It would have worn off, right?

MATT: I would say, for the purposes of the travel, because you guys had a few days’ travel from the actual Sphinx’s lair, towards Westruun when you were travellng back, you had the opportunity to use Greater Restoration to get rid of it.

MARISHA: Between Pike and I–

MATT: Yeah, in that time.

SAM: What if we don’t want to be any younger?

MATT: Then you could have said no and kept it as you go. If you wanted to take in your nice salt and pepper–

LAURA: How old are you now, Scanlan, if you keep it?

SAM: I don’t know.

ASHLEY: That salt and pepper hair?

SAM: A girl never tells her age.

MATT: Would you want to maintain your little creeping Reed Richards going on at the sides there?

SAM: No, I’ll get young again.

MATT: Slightly.

SAM: Slightly.

MARISHA: He said, begrudgingly.

MATT: I know.

LIAM: Set that dial back to 39.

MATT: All right then. Anything else?

MARISHA: What were you going to say, Percy?

TALIESIN: I was thinking, perhaps, you’re not necessarily the person to magically augment your path.

MARISHA: That’s kind of my hesitance about it, I guess.

TALIESIN: I had meditated upon the idea for a minute.

MARISHA: I’m honestly kind of afraid of what kind of leadership things and influence it could possibly tell me. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.

TALIESIN: (laughs)

SAM: I do!

MARISHA: You can read it, Scanlan.

SAM: Yes!

(laughter)

TALIESIN: At the very least, it’ll keep him busy for four or five days.

MARISHA: That’s true.

ASHLEY: That’s true. That’s true.

TALIESIN: Because you have to read for 48 hours–

LAURA: What if he gets even more charismatic and then he proposes again? And he charms you more?

ASHLEY: Well, if he’s so charming, I just wouldn’t be able to help it.

LAURA: It’s possible.

MARISHA: I know, that’s my– actually, my only other regret is do we want to turn Scanlan into a charm nuclear weapon? Because that’s what we’ll be doing.

LAURA: I kind of do want to do that. He is super good at talking to people.

MARISHA: He is.

TALIESIN: And I think there’s enough of us that we could all keep each other in check, from–

LIAM: Between Grog and Scanlan, we can solve any problem, I think, so beef him up, so to speak.

MARISHA: Tell me what kind of leadership things– who wrote that, Scanlan?

SAM: Lao Tsu.

MARISHA: Tell me what kind of leadership skills Lao Tsu wants to bestow upon you. If there’s any good ones, pass them along.

SAM: All right, I’ll give you some tips.

MARISHA: All right.

MATT: (laughs) All right. You guys finish your breakfast, make your way outside of the mansion, back into the dragon’s den. Is there anything else you wish to do before you leave? As you can only take the amount of gold that you retrieved, and the items you could farm, the rest will have to be left behind, hopefully to be retrieved at some point down the line by either the remnants of Westruun or yourselves.

LIAM: I’ll just say that I’ve attuned to all my old shit while everyone was swimming.

MATT: Okay. Cool.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah. I carved a pretty little heart on the side of one of the boots just to make it extra girly.

MATT: Make a perception check.

LIAM: I would just think that meant you love me.

LAURA: Maybe I do.

LIAM: Uh, that is a 39.

LAURA: (laughs) What?!

LIAM: 17 plus perception is– did I get it wrong? Am I too tired? I’ve had a long day, people. Let’s say 29.

MATT: Did you take perception as one of your–

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Oh, then yeah. Okay. You take the boots and you put them on and immediately, there’s a heart there. And you’re like (pained) hmm. That probably means she loves me.

LIAM: No, I like it. It’s fine!

MATT: Yeah. At first you’re like, sh– oh no, it’s cool.

LIAM: I don’t know what you’re thinking. It’s beautiful.

MATT: All right, you guys are back in the dragon’s lair. Is there anything else you wish to do?

TALIESIN: We’re going to make sure we walk around the trap that is still active in the front–

TRAVIS: Right.

MATT: Make your way back through the tunnel that you had carved before–

LIAM: Have to avoid that old magic.

TRAVIS: Is there any lasting damage from the acid burns?

MATT: Thankfully, through magic healing and other means there was no scarring. The tattoos and beard that were partially destroyed–

TRAVIS: I was going to ask: beard?

MATT: Yeah, the beard’s a little bit reduced from the sheer volume of acid that was thrown at your face but since healing magic was applied shortly thereafter, the little bit of the beard that began to singe, it stopped that process. So you still have some facial hair, just may have to grow back to its full majesty–

TRAVIS: I may need a haircut in a day or two.

TALIESIN: Ooh. Can you Stone Shape something for me? I would like to have Keyleth Stone Shape and use one dragon scale, if you would be so kind. Or, actually, one tooth if that would be all right.

MARISHA: Sure. Tooth me.

TALIESIN: I would like to leave the “VM” seal on the side of the cavern.

LAURA: (gasps)

TALIESIN: And just written in– what would a dragon understand?

MATT: Draconic.

TALIESIN: Draconic?

LIAM: We have somebody who can do that–

TALIESIN: “One down” and let’s embed the tooth into the rock.

SAM: Ooh.

TRAVIS: Yes! I like it.

TALIESIN: We might as well.

LAURA: I like it. I like it.

MARISHA: So I do the Vox Machina crest.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: And then “one down.” Who speaks Draconic?

MATT: All right, so you get with her. You scribble onto the ground what that phrase would look like. You go ahead and copy that and you embed it permanently and immediately into the side of the stone.

LIAM: And I said, bitch!

MATT: All righty. You guys make your way down Gatshadow, through the Bramblewood Forest to Westruun itself. As you hit the base of the mountain, start getting towards the edge of the forest, you see a pillar of smoke rising up from that direction–

MARISHA: From Westruun?

MATT: A relatively thick pillar of smoke, a few actually.

LAURA: Oh no!

MARISHA: Wait. What?

SAM: Uh-oh. They’ve already attacked.

TRAVIS: No, we go fast. We go.

MATT: All right. You guys rush through the remainder of the Bramblewood, come out into the field and are met by what looks like a series of fires that are out in the open field, north of Westruun, not within the actual city. You see these are pyres. The dead of the Umbrasyl battle have been set aflame, being given off the proper heroes’ sending. It is a standard after-battle remembrance of those who fell for the herd. You see standing amongst them the twelve surviving members of the battle, many of them pretty badly scarred from the encounter but alive, nonetheless. Bandaged and kind of taking a moment of silence. You do see of that group, as well, Zanror and Worra are there. They haven’t noticed you yet. And standing behind them all, one large aimless stone golem with a big chain hanging out of its chest, just standing there.

MARISHA: Fassbender!

SAM: Who controls him?

LIAM: No one at the moment.

MATT: Yep.

LAURA: Oh, you took it off?

LIAM: I took it off.

MARISHA: But you have the circlet still.

LIAM: Of course I have the circlet, yeah, but–

TALIESIN: I’ll take it if no one else does.

LIAM: Sure.

TRAVIS: Can I find my way to Zanror? Is his– is she his wife? His woman–

MATT: His mate, Worra. Yeah, they’re both next to each other and as you get closer you notice most of them have gathered their belongings. They have travel packs. They have taken sacks and whatever they could to bring whatever belonged to them and it looks like they are getting ready to move. You see Shale a bit behind them, as well, who has also taken some small supplies with her one good arm and putting it over her shoulder and tying it to her armor before she grabs her staff again. So you walk over to Zanror and Worra. Zanror looks over to you as you approach, his arm still around Worra’s shoulder. “It’s good to see you survived, Grog.”

TRAVIS: Yeah. Did more than that, actually. Found our way up to the cave where Umbrasyl was. Left him in pieces.

MATT: “As Shale told us. 'The Bearded King,’ she said.”

TRAVIS: (laughs) A word of advice. If, as you’re finding your way out of town, you were to stop by a certain cave, there might be some things for you to pick up.

LAURA: Gro–

LIAM: I take my sister, put my hand over her mouth, and I drag her back about 30 feet.

MATT: He gives you a look, and looks to Worra, looks to her belly–

LAURA: (whispers) That’s for the people of Westruun!

MATT: –and goes, “Appreciate that. We’ll take what we can.”

TRAVIS: Your little one. You take care of him. Her. It.

MATT: “I will.”

TRAVIS: All right.

MATT: “Do you want to come with us? We know we cast you out once, but we’re not like that anymore. The herd’s dead. We go to find prosperity with the Rivermaw. A people we wronged and we’re probably going to spend some time making it up to them, for my father’s infractions. You’re one of us now, and we’d be honored to have you.”

TRAVIS: I’m honored. Truly I am. But I lost a family, all those years ago. And while I will always think fondly of you, I have a new family now, and I must stay and guard them with my life.

MATT: “I understand. Well. I’m not very good at these parting pleasantries.” He puts his arm out.

MATT and TRAVIS: (crashing sound)

SAM: Stereo.

TRAVIS: Come on, it blew your hair back when it happened.

MATT: Yeah, a little bit, little bit.

TRAVIS: Magnavox, like (squeal sound)!

MATT: “You be safe. You find your way, head north of the Silvercut. You’re always welcome in our tents.”

TRAVIS: I’ll keep that in mind. Travel safely.

MATT: He goes ahead and takes up his bags. Shale takes up her staff, comes up to you, and: “We’ll see each other again, Grog. Of this I’m sure.”

TRAVIS: Yeah. Hm, totally sure, heh. You look out for that other eye now. Don’t lose the other, because then you’ll just be like (scared noise) in the dark.

MATT: As you’re doing that she smacks you on the nose with the staff. “I’ll be fine.” And she walks away with a smile on her weathered, crooked face. Zanror yells out, “Come! We move west.” Everyone turns their heads and gather their things and they walk by. As all the soldiers walk by, those wounded and not, to each of you they bow their heads in respect. And you swear you hear a couple of murmured “thank you” as they all solemnly make their way out west, away from Westruun.

LIAM: Is it just the remainder of the herd?

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LIAM: Herd leader! We trust you will leave something in that cave for the people of this town. Something to help them recover.

MATT: Zanror turns to you, and says, “There’s very little in our lifestyle that really has use of this coin, just enough to make it from place to place if need be. Besides, occasionally we need supplies, something to trade with. I’m not like my father. This I’ve learned in recent months.”

LIAM: Prosperity on your family.

MATT: “Hm.” Looks to Grog. “Your family as well.” Turns around and continues to walk.

LAURA: You’re lucky he’s nice, Grog.

TRAVIS: What, what?

LAURA: Offering all the gold to the herd instead of the people of Westruun.

TRAVIS: I didn’t offer all of it. I said there was something to pick up. He might have grabbed a bunch of mud, what are you so upset about?

LIAM: He meant well.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MATT: As you guys make your way– uh, where are you heading?

SAM: Into Westruun?

TRAVIS: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

MARISHA: Is the gold pile trap still there?

MATT: It is, yes.

TALIESIN: It’s sprung. We have to pick it up.

LAURA: Is our gold still there?

MATT: Your gold is not there.

(groaning)

LAURA: It’s a good thing I only put a little bit in.

LIAM: I’m going to go take like five minutes. I’m going to kneel down and sort of meditate in front of one of the pyres.

MATT: Okay. (laughing) But what you do notice, ironically, while the gold is still there, it’s scattered about. Because there’s been an explosion where the gold was left behind.

LAURA: (gasps) Oh shit.

ASHLEY: Oops.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: My bad. I made a bomb!

MATT: Nearby, there is a groove in the dirt that is dragged on for about four, five hundred feet, before there appears to be a body at the edge.

LIAM: Dead dwarf?

MARISHA: It’s a dwarf?

MATT: No, it’s not. It’s the gentleman who disappeared as you let him out of prison.

(shouting)

TRAVIS: That son of a bitch! That thieving bastard?

LAURA: He deserves it!

MARISHA: The fucking asshole that peaced out!

TRAVIS: Blackfoot– what was his name?

MATT: Oran Blackfoot.

LAURA: I knew he was going to go for the gold. That’s what he thought he was going to do.

MATT: As soon as you guys left, he seized the opportunity.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Good kill. Good kill.

ASHLEY: All right, all right, all right.

LIAM: I’m taking a moment to pay my respects to the dead.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: I do the same.

TALIESIN: I’m attuning Fassbender. And working on getting the chain removed from him.

MARISHA: Keyleth takes a minute to Druidcraft some wildflowers around the pyre.

MATT: Okay. As you guys are taking this break, Vex, you notice a small group of individuals walking from the town in your direction. Make a perception check.

LAURA: I bent my paper. (high voice) 17!

MATT: Okay. You glance over and, best you can make out, some appear to be armored, some appear to be just carrying sacks and goods. There’s a cart being dragged behind with two beasts of burden affixed to the front, a set of horses, and at the front of them you see a human male wearing chain mail with a heavy shield to one side, walking up and approaching. He’s mid to late 40s, big black- and gray-streaked beard pulled into two points, wild crazy-looking dark hair, also gray streaked. Sun-dappled nose. He walks up with his hand in the air.

LAURA: Oi, friend.

MATT: Can we go ahead and have our guest enter?

LAURA: Ooh!

LIAM: I know that guy!

(cheers)

SAM: Sorry for the wait.

MATT: We had to have a hot spring episode.

MARISHA: Very important cannonball competition we had to get to.

PATRICK: I’m sorry that I was laughing loud enough for the mics to pick it up. Some people on Twitter were saying that they heard me laugh.

MATT: That’s fine. Patrick Rothfuss, joining us today!

SAM: Fabulous writer. Good person.

PATRICK: That’s not me.

MATT: So, as you’re walking up from the city of Westruun, carrying behind you the group of eager-to-leave refugees that have gathered around you, you notice the burning spires, and you see the remnants of the horde leaving westward behind the group of heroes that you all had feared had gone to the top of the mountain to meet their doom. They stand before you alive and resting, and as you approach to hail them, one of them, the half-elf female, hails you.

LAURA: Sir, how fares– (stuttering) How are you doing?

SAM: Charisma!

LAURA: Give me the book. Give me the book!

TRAVIS: Amazing. Couldn’t have done any better.

LAURA: What’s happening in the town? Are you leaving?

PATRICK: How many people are left in town and how many have come with me?

MATT: In town, there’s probably a couple hundred that are scattered throughout. Most of them have left, the party has sent them out, but many individuals that they didn’t get to have still been holed up in their homes. You have with you right now 20 people, and these are the folks that have congregated around you to figure out a plan of what to do.

PATRICK: Okay.

SAM: What’s with all the questions, narc?

(laughter)

PATRICK: I will admit I did not expect to see you folk again.

LAURA: Well, we’re here.

PATRICK: What’s happened?

LAURA: You know that dragon?

PATRICK: I noticed the dragon.

LAURA: Gone. Killed. Destroyed. Vox Machina!

(laughter)

LAURA: Give me the book.

SAM: Nope.

PATRICK: I don’t know what to say. I was expecting to have to bury some more bodies.

LAURA: Thankfully, that is not the case. And you are smart, with leaving town.

PATRICK: Well, the town itself hasn’t decided exactly what to do, how much to rebuild, or whether or not it’s even worth it. But now, at least we can make some plans.

LAURA: Definitely.

SAM: Oi, what’s your name?

PATRICK: Oh. My name is Kerr.

SAM: Kerr?

LAURA: Like Care Bear?

MARISHA: Is that with a C or a K?

PATRICK: (laughs) With a K.

MARISHA: Okay. Kerr. I like it.

SAM: And tell us about yourself, if you don’t mind.

PATRICK: I have been here in this town for a while. I settled down after– I had a bit of an adventurous youth.

SAM: Ooh! I like!

TRAVIS: Yeah, me too.

PATRICK: How old do these guys look?

MATT: They look younger than you. They look like a bunch of young upstarts, for the most part.

PATRICK: They’re puppies, right?

MATT: They’re puppies, but looking close up, you can see weathered experiences in their eyes.

PATRICK: They came back from the dragon. But still, these are like kids, right?

MATT: From your perspective? Yeah.

PATRICK: Yeah.

SAM: I’m an adult man!

MATT: Who’s just roughly past your knee.

PATRICK: I welcome you back to what is left of the town, and I offer my thanks, and thanks on behalf of those of us that are left.

LAURA: Are you responsible for these pyres?

PATRICK: The town has been pulling together, and we have been doing what we can with what we have.

MARISHA: And what’s your position been in Westruun?

PATRICK: Oh, I don’t have a position in the city. I’m just the smith.

LAURA: You’re a blacksmith?

TRAVIS: You make weapons?

PATRICK: Yes.

LAURA: Armor?

PATRICK: Armor.

SAM: Percy?

TALIESIN: Well, I make things. They’re not–

SAM: Maybe you guys could collab on a joint project.

TALIESIN: Smithing and gadgetry, while I can see how, to the layman, they look very similar, are in fact quite different. SAM: I actually might have a project for you, if we have a moment.

MARISHA: Okay, before we start hitting him up for work.

TALIESIN: Is this everybody you could round up to get out of the city?

PATRICK: Well, this is everyone who was interested in coming out on this particular expedition.

TRAVIS: Oh, yeah! What is your expedition?

PATRICK: Mostly exploratory. Like I said, we just didn’t have any information at all. I didn’t know if we were going to be burying more bodies, or dealing with an increasingly angry dragon.

LAURA: Well, the dragon in the mountain is dead, but there are increasingly angered dragons in other cities that will probably be coming here to retaliate.

PATRICK: That will be coming here?

SAM: Possibly.

LAURA: More than likely.

MARISHA: Probably.

TALIESIN: Maybe.

MARISHA: We don’t know.

TRAVIS: No. No chance.

(laughter)

SAM: Actually, this raises an important question. What do the people of Westruun do at this point? Do they rebuild? Do they go underground? Do they leave and abandon the city?

LIAM: It’s a huge question, yes. What do you think, personally? What is this small group that you’re leading? What’s your plan?

PATRICK: I offered to come along with them in case they needed a strong arm. I don’t speak for the town. I just know most of the people involved, and I wanted to make sure they stayed safe. But the truth is, there’s a lot of people who have nothing to rebuild, and nothing to rebuild it with. And if there might be dragons coming back, I don’t know.

TRAVIS: Well, Kerr, Pike and I are both from Westruun. Yeah. Yep.

ASHLEY: I’ve seen you before. Do you know Wilhand? My great-great-grandfather?

LAURA: Great great?

ASHLEY: Great-great. Yeah. Two greats, not just one.

MATT: A tiny, hunched over gnomish gentleman, a little absent-minded but friendly enough, keeps to himself.

LAURA: Likes to drink.

PATRICK: Ah!

ASHLEY: Yes. You probably have had some drinks with him before.

PATRICK: A little bit. And I haven’t met you, but I’ve heard of you.

TRAVIS: Oh, yeah?

PATRICK: Yeah!

TRAVIS: What have you heard?

PATRICK: I heard that you were a good member of the community.

TRAVIS: Yep, that’s me.

SAM: Nope. You are incorrect.

TRAVIS: Totally.

ASHLEY: He was, and is, but we’re just never home.

TRAVIS: Grog. Grog is my name.

LIAM: Kerr, do you have a sense of how many people are left in the city, roughly?

PATRICK: Maybe as many as a couple hundred.

LAURA: Oh, that’s it?

MARISHA: That’s not a lot.

PATRICK: A lot of people have been leaving, but some people can’t.

TRAVIS: Well, look, I would just like to put this forward. Westruun is their home. It’s Pike’s home, it’s my home. And if you start running, you never really stop.

SAM: But where are they going to stay? I’ve been down to the sewers, and there’s crazy giant creatures down there. TRAVIS: Well, you can treat it like a weather shelter. If the dragons come, we set up an early warning system. They go underground. But this is their home.

TALIESIN: Here’s an interesting thing to contemplate about this whole problem, is that we have three dragons still at large. Three dragons who have probably found cities of their own, so the chances that they’re going to come back and take time away from their own city to go look at one that’s, in theory, already taken over is very thin. And if they are traveling, then they’re going to travel to cities that haven’t been plundered yet.

LAURA: That’s true, this one has been plundered.

TALIESIN: This is no less or more. There’s a risk either way. It’s just the risk of running or the risk of staying.

SAM: Also the dragons know that the last dragon who came here died.

MARISHA: I think the dragons’ motives have probably shifted by now, and where the dragons might not be interested in plundering anymore, instead might be interested in any city that we are in.

TALIESIN: Which, I imagine we’re leaving soon, anyway.

LIAM: Yeah, they might not believe we’d be here, but they also might try to–

TRAVIS: Kerr, are you an honest man?

PATRICK: I’ve been called an honest man.

SAM: I insight check him!

TRAVIS: Can I insight check– Oh yeah, you do that.

(laughter)

MATT: You may both make insight checks.

SAM: 19.

TRAVIS: (high voice) Four.

TALIESIN: If you whisper to Grog, it’s going to make me really happy. Yes!

SAM: He just said, you fart.

TALIESIN: Mightily.

MATT: Excuse me for just a minute.

SAM: What was this about Loot Crate?

TRAVIS: Three dollars off if you use lootcrate.com/criticalrole next week!

MARISHA: But that’s no secret!

SAM: I trust him with my life. I pledge my allegiance to you, sir.

TRAVIS: You just dabbed to him.

MARISHA: Scanlan literally hasn’t said that to me in the entire three years I’ve known him.

SAM: What was your name again?

TALIESIN: Scanlan just found out that Kerr has a daughter, is what he found out.

TRAVIS: Wow, you pledge your life to him? Jeez.

MARISHA: Kerr. You said you were an adventurer several years ago.

PATRICK: Many years ago. Many years ago. I’ve lived here– I’ve lived here a lifetime at this point.

MARISHA: Did you have a party that you traveled with as well?

PATRICK: I did.

MARISHA: Would we happen to know any of them? Allura? Asum?

PATRICK: No, that was a long time ago, and I’d be very surprised if you’d heard any of the stories from back then. I will say, though, from what I know about dragons, that perhaps vengeance might not be outside a reasonable expectation. There might not be anything here for them to plunder, but–

MARISHA: But no one likes having their ass handed to them.

PATRICK: And these creatures are old and intelligent and powerful, and they stay that way by striking fear into people. And (sighs) as much as I hate to leave my own home, I don’t know who will be able to help my people if any other things like this happen.

MARISHA: We can’t be everywhere at once.

LIAM: What about the sewers?

SAM: Well, we were down there, and there was horrible, creepy things.

LIAM: We could help with that.

SAM: We could clear out the sewers.

MARISHA: But that’s not indefinite.

TRAVIS: No, it’s not.

MARISHA: They’ll be back.

LAURA: The only other option is–

TALIESIN: There’s the traveling band, by the river.

LAURA: Split the city up? Set them on different paths?

LIAM: There’s Whitestone.

TALIESIN: Whitestone is rapidly becoming a very large target.

LAURA: Very quickly becoming noticeable, I think.

LIAM: Ever been to Vasselheim?

PATRICK: Refugees are often very unwelcome, too, and most of the people here did not have much left to lose before they lost it.

LAURA: We have claim to the gold that was stolen. It’s up in the mountain. It’s just hard to get down.

TALIESIN: Someone honest is going to have to come and help divvy it up amongst the survivors.

PATRICK: We can look for an honest person.

MARISHA: But if all of the survivors are evacuating the city–

PATRICK: We could probably– I know enough people to put together a group of carters to go up there and start fetching stuff down?

MATT: Yeah. And the people that have gathered around you are people that have been around you most of the time you’ve been in the city, or at least have known you long enough to the point where they themselves are also like-minded, so you can trust most of the folks that have walked with you out towards the pyres. PATRICK: I’ll say, excuse me for just a minute, and I’ll walk off and I’ll chat with them a little bit, so you can see that I’m pointing up. I’ll do a little talk off with them, so you can talk about me behind my– Without me.

SAM: I like this guy.

TRAVIS: You do?

LAURA: Why do you pledge yourself to him?

SAM: I just feel like he’s an honest man. He’s a good guy. He’s got a nice twinkle in his eye and I recognize that as a sign of honesty, because I have a similar feature.

LAURA: You do? I’ve never noticed a twinkle in your eye.

SAM: Yeah, the light has to hit it just–

LAURA: No, it’s a crusty from the morning. You might just– yeah.

TALIESIN: How do you get glitter in there?

TRAVIS: That seems like such a shame. I mean, shouldn’t we ask the people of Westruun if they want to stay or go?

SAM: Well, there’s only 200. We could have a huge meeting and put it to a vote.

TRAVIS: A town hall thing?

LAURA: Why not?

MARISHA: But he said some people were incapable of leaving. There might be elderly and sick here that can’t travel.

SAM: Is there a way to hide the city with magic? We’ve seen that done before.

LAURA: Can we make it look like it’s already been burned down?

TALIESIN: It has already been burned down.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: That won’t be hard at all.

LAURA: Can we hide?

LIAM: Can’t they have sentries and a shelter in the sewers? They could clear out part of it and have sentries every night, and any time a dragon comes, they just go underground and wait. Wait it out.

TALIESIN: I don’t think this is a terrible– I think this is a pretty reasonable idea.

LAURA: What do you think, Grog, Pike?

TRAVIS: That’s what I said.

ASHLEY: I feel like it’s a good idea.

TRAVIS: Yeah. I don’t–

MARISHA: Hang on, hold the phone. Hold the phone.

SAM: We could spend a few days here and get them started before we go on to our next thing.

TRAVIS: It’s so hard to find shelter and protection that’s not a city where you’re unwelcome in the first place.

TALIESIN: Well, this is an unwelcome world at the moment.

LAURA: We could leave Fassbender here to help protect everyone.

SAM: Yes, I guess if we gave him away. But we need him.

TALIESIN: Do we need him?

LIAM: He’s going to slow us down.

LAURA: How are we going to get Fassbender anywhere with us?

SAM: Tell him to walk.

TRAVIS: Are we returning the band?

MARISHA: Yeah, Quall did want the circlet at some point. It’s not necessarily ours to give away.

LAURA: Quall’s evil.

TALIESIN: Is he?

MARISHA: Selfish, maybe.

TALIESIN: We are under contract, technically.

LAURA: This is true.

MARISHA: What were you going to say, Pike?

ASHLEY: We could just leave it with Wilhand.

MARISHA: We could leave it with Wilhand, actually.

ASHLEY: And then we could tell Quall–

LIAM: Oh, Quall, we didn’t know where you were, we couldn’t find you, we left it with Wilhand.

ASHLEY: We wanted to leave it in one place, just in case we see you again.

SAM: Is that your lying voice?

LIAM: Sorry, buddy.

PATRICK: What is the general atmosphere in town? Are people just done?

TRAVIS: Yeah, right? I’m fucking over this shit!

MATT: Best that you can ascertain, a lot of people are scared because they were separated from their families. A large bulk of people left south to Kymal, which is the nearest township to Westruun that feasibly could take in refugees. They left directly after the dragon attack, even before the herd was there. When the herd came in, the maybe ten percent, 15 percent of people that stayed behind were then captured, some of them were killed as they fought back, many were enslaved and brutalized, and a number of them did escape thanks to this group’s efforts. So I’d say those that are left behind, they’re eager to see their families. They’re probably eager to leave for the time being. Some of them do want to stay just because they’re stubborn, but the majority seems interested in not being in a place that could be a target for more dragon attacks, as rumors have come back that there is more than just the black dragon, and many of them recall the red, the green, and the white that came with the initial onslaught that tore through the city. Or it would’ve been the green and the white.

PATRICK: Okay, yeah. So I’ll wander back, and I say, my friends here are willing to go on a retrieval mission. I’m assuming you folks could use some rest, and the hospitality of the town isn’t what it used to be, but I’m sure a lot of people would be very glad to see you. Have you set up protections? Did you hide the treasure?

LAURA: We did. We did. It’s hidden in a cubby with a little mark on it.

SAM: We’ll give you instructions.

PATRICK: Sketch out something.

TALIESIN: Including a little walk around.

LAURA: Oh, yeah, the walk around is important.

TRAVIS: But there are stuff out there in the woods. There are things.

SAM: He’s a strong man.

PATRICK: And I’ve got, these are the more capable, these folks can go out on their own?

MATT: A number of them can, yeah. Some of them were there for general visual support, carrying things forth and stewards that have taken up arms because they have to, but you’re essentially the strongest of a group of relatively capable individuals.

TRAVIS: I’d hate to send you into anything that all of a sudden got a bit too nasty. I see you wearing chain mail. If I may, what is your weapon of choice?

PATRICK: I’m partial– I was partial to the warhammer.

TRAVIS: Ooh. I reach out to shake his hand. I like your choice.

ASHLEY: Kerr, do you know how to make armor be quiet?

(laughter)

PATRICK: That’s probably the first laugh you get. I’ve been there. I lived there a long time. We could talk shop about that.

ASHLEY: I love talking shop. Let’s do it.

PATRICK: I’ll set up a little expedition and I’ll send people out, knowing that a lot of these folks that are here are going to head out. They’re going to need resources, and based on what they’ve said, my team can go out and get some of this treasure?

MATT: Yeah, based on the description they’ve said and the sheer volume that’s there, they end up taking four carts that are capable of doing a somewhat treacherous mountain journey with the strong individuals you send up as well. I don’t know if you wanted to go up with them or stay behind.

PATRICK: It sounds reasonably clear. We’ll send up a good group with spare parts, and they’re all craftsmen here, they’re all farmers, they can fix a cart if it breaks.

TRAVIS: Is there any way for them to contact you if shit goes down while they’re up there? If we need to go in as the cavalry to the rescue?

PATRICK: Are there any–?

SAM: We can send one of the stones with them.

LAURA: (groans)

PATRICK: Anybody with cantrippy message sending–?

MATT: Unfortunately, anybody with any modicum of arcane practitioning capability left.

PATRICK: They beat feet long ago. Yeah.

MATT: As soon as shit hit the fan, they were like, nope!

PATRICK: I think at this point, it’s people that are stubborn and with really low intelligence scores are the only folks left, so the wizards went right away.

TALIESIN: It’s appropriate on occasion to leave people to a modicum of risk. Life is risky. It’s perfectly reasonable to send people on themselves.

LIAM: Can we steer them away from the area where we ran into those basilisks?

LAURA: Yes, we will tell you about the basilisks.

TALIESIN: They’re locals. They should know.

MATT: Well, the basilisks were far south. That was in the Frostweald.

LAURA: Oh, never mind.

MATT: As far as you know, they were nowhere near the Bramblewood, thankfully.

LAURA: So what should we do here, clear out the sewers? Because that’s what was said.

SAM: Wait, there’s three options for these people, and they have to decide for us. They can stay here and live in the sewers. They can go to, what’s it called?

MATT: Kymal.

SAM: Kymal, where they’re still accepting refugees, or they can wander off into the desert.

TALIESIN: Well, there’s also that group of people wandering around. There’s that group.

SAM: That’s what I’m saying.

TRAVIS: Hey, guys, so remember the farmer? Outside, and then he turned into a scarecrow?

MARISHA: Yes, we remember.

TRAVIS: I found his daughter.

SAM: Oh, where is she?

LAURA: Did you tell her?

TRAVIS: No, no, I didn’t know what to do. She looked like a deer in the headlights.

LAURA: Where is she?

TRAVIS: She was in the prison with Abjurist Noja and Blackfoot, who’s now dead. What’s her name again?

MATT: Amelia.

TRAVIS: Amelia, really sweet.

MARISHA: Did you send her towards refugees?

SAM: Is she around?

TRAVIS: I brought her out before we took the fight to the dragon, so I think she’s still in the town, but I don’t want to tell her.

LAURA: We should tell her, Grog.

TRAVIS: Yeah, I know, and maybe give her a little coin, but, Pike, do you think maybe you could–

ASHLEY: Tell her?

TRAVIS: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LIAM: Do I remember where he is?

MATT: Where Reginald is? Yeah.

LIAM: I head off that way.

MATT: Okay. It’s directly west of the town, so it’s pretty much south of where you guys are currently standing, because the drop point was northwest of the city. He is still affixed.

LIAM: I bring him back here.

TRAVIS: Make him sound real brave, you know. Paint a good picture when you talk to her.

TALIESIN: He was real brave.

LAURA: There’s only about 200 people left. Do you know someone named Amelia?

MATT: You know of Amelia, though you– No, you did see her last night. You hadn’t seen her in a while. She was one of the people that was still in the town. She was peripheral to the battle with the dragon, but fled as soon as she saw it. Unfortunately, dragons have that effect on people. She was a little shamed by it, but you calmed her down. But you do know that she’s safe and reachable.

PATRICK: Yeah, she’s around.

LAURA: Where is everyone staying within the town? Are they scattered about or are they staying in a central location?

PATRICK: We’ve organized places for people to sleep if they don’t have places for themselves. It’s makeshift, but– because it’s been a couple of days, at this point?

MATT: Yeah, it’s been almost two days since the initial encounter.

PATRICK: Right, so we’ve got triage camps set up. I will say, some people are going to stay no matter what, and they have the right to stay, and that’s their choice. I imagine some people will come back and rebuild here, but most people, they are ready to go. They miss their families.

LAURA: An entire city.

TALIESIN: We can build a dragon shelter. At the very least, that is something we can do.

MARISHA: But these people are prisoners here. They feel like they’re prisoners in their own home, and that’s not a home.

TRAVIS: Then we let them make their choice.

TALIESIN: They’ll do what they’re going to do, but we can give them an option if things get hairy.

LAURA: Let’s make our way toward them, then.

MATT: Okay. You guys make your way towards town. The largest concentration of survivors that you’ve been keeping tabs on actually aren’t that far from Wilhand’s home, in the area where most of the temples are constructed, which is generally considered one of the oldest and most protected areas of Westruun. There are two inns that are casically now ramshackle homes for sleep. There’s bedspreads across the entire floor, all the tables and chairs have been moved out, and it’s now just a giant room where people who had their homes destroyed come and sleep, not because it’s comfortable, but because there’s comfort and safety in numbers. People have gathered what belongings they still had that are worth anything or they might need for a journey. Many of them are still gathering bits of dried food and fruit and whatever, preparing for whatever the next step of their travels may be. But you probably have the bulk of the people in the town, other than a few older, very stubborn folks that are like, “I’m going to stay in my home!” The folks that stayed at Mt. St. Helens, where you’re like, come on, guys, seriously?

(laughter)

PATRICK: There’s always some.

MATT: There’s always some. But yeah, so as you approach and the door swings open to the first tavern, as you introduce them too, a few of the folks perk up. A few children who couldn’t sleep look over. Two of the kids that recognize you run up, “Uncle Kerrek!” They run up and grab the side of your legs. Your chain mail clanks and you pick them up.

ASHLEY: I look around for Wilhand.

MATT: Wilhand is not amongst this group. Wilhand probably stayed safe within his home, which kept him safe up to this point, so far.

TRAVIS: Do we see Amelia?

MATT: Looking about, yes, you do see Amelia. She is asleep right now, though.

SAM: Wake her up! Tell her her dad’s dead!

MARISHA: Hey, hey. It’s really important. I need to tell you right now.

ASHLEY: We see her?

MATT: You see her. She’s asleep. It’s later in the day from the travel, you guys went down the mountain to even get here after you woke up in the morning. You spent most of the day getting back to Westruun, so you’re getting pretty close to sunset. The group has been set off for the evening’s travel toward the top of Gatshadow. She appears to have fallen asleep early.

PATRICK: I’ll start a few things, and I’ll spread the word. Everybody could really use a bit of a party here. We don’t have many resources, but I’m betting there’s enough liquor for everybody to get good and drunk tonight.

MATT: Oh yeah.

PATRICK: That’s the resource there’s always an abundance of at this point. We’ll kind of put the word out, and honestly, I don’t need to organize it. I can just say, “Dragon’s dead, and they did it. We’re going to throw them a party tonight.” And I’m just going to let that happen.

MATT: And with each chain of that word spreading, the energy immediately lifts up within the room, and the building adjacent, and folks that were either resting or in a state of perpetual anxiousness suddenly brighten up, even with the dirt-smeared faces, you can see smiles poking out as people begin coming into the room to see those who slew the dragon that threatened them. People start coming up and shaking your hands, individuals who haven’t seen you guys for years, people that lived down the street and gave you a passing hello in the younger days of your youth, are now coming up to you with a look of absolute appreciation and thanks. Just as that energy picks up, the wine and the ale begin to go throughout the area as stores of them beneath the taverns that were not found by the herd, as there were only so many members of the herd and a larger number of actual inns and taverns throughout the town, people start grabbing cups. Even some of the kids start coming up with cups, and the parents are like, “Hmm, a little.” It’s New Year’s, you can have a sip.

TALIESIN: It’s medieval times, everybody drinks.

MATT: Without much worry at that point, everyone’s getting nice and liquored up, and happiness has ensued. Some folks pull out some meager instruments. There aren’t a lot of extremely practiced bards, so your ears tweak a little at the sound of imperfect music, but there is honesty and joy coming from it, so you choose not to lend any sort of constructive criticism to the performers.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: You sent the last of the decent bards out of town. It’s all on you.

LAURA: Can I hang out outside? I want to keep my eye on the skies.

MATT: Yeah, not a worry. Go ahead and make a perception check.

TALIESIN: I was about to say I was going to join you. I’ve had my fill of party.

LIAM: Yes, I’m sure you were.

LAURA: Wait, what is that? 32.

LIAM: That’s okay.

MATT: 32? All right. You look about the sky. It is clear. The dark clouds that had loomed towards the top of Gatshadow have since blown away. The starry night sky now spreads infinitely above you, and for the first time in a long time, knowing that the immediate danger is no longer chasing you, you take a minute to appreciate the sheer beauty of the view that Westruun always had. This brief moment to allow yourself to exhale helps remind you what all this is worth, and the importance of moments like this. You can hear the laughter behind you within the inn. You can hear the music. You can hear the kids chuckling and telling jokes. People clinking glasses together. And in this tiny little microcosm of a moment here, you let yourself silently smile, and really know what all of this is worth.

TALIESIN: I’m going to join–

MARISHA: About that time I reach and grab Percy’s hand before he leaves the door. Percy. Percy!

TALIESIN: What?

MARISHA: This is giving me a lot of anxiety. There’s a lot of people here.

TALIESIN: Is it about your feelings about Vax? Is that the whole problem right now?

MARISHA: No.

TALIESIN: I really don’t–

MARISHA: There’s so many people calling us heroes.

TALIESIN: Yes.

MARISHA: We’re not heroes.

TALIESIN: We pretty much are, actually. I hate to tell you this.

MARISHA: No. We’re not, we’re terrible people. We’re terrible people. Why are they telling us this? Oh, god. Oh, god, if I have to shake one more townsperson’s hand. Oh, god. I feel like I was cursed. I was cursed. I don’t want any of this. I don’t want any of this!

PATRICK: Do I spot that?

MATT: You do. As you guys are having this conversation, Kerr walks over with a rosy grin on his face.

PATRICK: Is this your first time?

MARISHA: (hyperventilating) Hi. I’m Keyleth. Do you want to step outside?

LAURA: I come back inside.

PATRICK: Let’s step outside.

MARISHA: Okay!

MATT: You guys pass Vex as she steps back into the tavern, passing you guys.

LAURA: Pat her on the back. Drunk? Already?

MARISHA: No, not enough.

TALIESIN: Panic attack.

MATT: As you step outside with Kerr, the cold night air comforting to you, hitting your face, hitting your lungs. It helps the breathing slow, and you have a moment of control over your emotions.

MARISHA: (groan) Does the nausea always happen? Is that always a thing?

PATRICK: Is it the people, or is it the fact that you have finally realized how pointless it all is?

(surprised laughter)

MARISHA: Maybe it’s the fact that I feel like I’ve been lied to my entire god damn life, and it’s all crashing down upon me right now.

SAM: She’s druish.

MARISHA: So druish. So yeah, you could say– how about a little bit of column A and a little bit of column B?

PATRICK: Yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah.

PATRICK: Yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah. How did you deal with it?

PATRICK: I found other places where I could do good things.

MARISHA: Really?

PATRICK: Yeah.

MARISHA: Like what?

PATRICK: Like, I make wagon couples. The thing that hooks–

MARISHA: Oh. I don’t know exactly what you said.

PATRICK: You have a wagon.

MARISHA: Sure.

PATRICK: And then you have a horse.

MARISHA: Right, yeah.

PATRICK: And then something needs to hook the horse to the wagon.

MARISHA: Got you.

PATRICK: And if you have a bad one of those, it breaks, and so people need good ones of those.

MARISHA: I don’t know at all what you just told me. I’m not going to lie. But I think I get the message.

PATRICK: I’m guessing that you are bothered by the fact that no matter what you do, you seem to end up destroying more things than you fix.

MARISHA: Yes! Jeez, you’re like the first person– no one else gets it.

PATRICK: They don’t get it, do they?

MARISHA: No, they don’t.

PATRICK: No.

MARISHA: Is that it? That’s it? We will destroy everything we touch? We will cause more harm than good? We will carve a path of destruction and make it seem like we’re doing good, and then people will worship us because they think we’re heroes, when in the back of my head I’m thinking about all the death that has come by our hands?

PATRICK: That can be a lot of it. I’m not going to lie to you about that.

MARISHA: Yeah, you know, Kerr, you’re not really helping make me feel better about this. I’m not going to lie.

PATRICK: Well I imagine that your friends will tell you a lot of things that would make you feel real good. But I’m not one for short term solutions. I think that you’re right. I think that you’ve obviously put a lot of thought into this.

MARISHA: So much thought. I swear I’ve gotten nosebleeds. Keep going. That’s beside the point.

PATRICK: And I’ve known people like you before. People who are very sensitive to this sort of thing. I have been the sort of person you are. And it’s not simple. Your friend who lived here for a while, the big one, what’s his name?

MARISHA: Grog. Yeah.

PATRICK: Right. He doesn’t have this. He has the opposite of this. It’s all good for him, right? And you’re kind of jealous, aren’t you?

MARISHA: I so badly wish I could have what he has.

PATRICK: But somebody has to look at the big picture. And sometimes that’s us, and usually it’s unpleasant. But somebody needs to do it.

MARISHA: So you’re saying this is my curse? This is my duty?

PATRICK: I’m saying that– (long pause). I’m saying that if you aren’t careful, it will rip you apart from the inside, but that’s not a long-term solution. That’s just another piece of destruction. You need to find a way to live with the fact that you do what you can, because that’s what you can control. And sometimes bad things happen anyway, and so you just have to decide where you’re going to pick your hill. You find your hill. Everybody gets one hill, and you plant your flag and you can die on that one. But you have to be careful, because you only get one. If you’re really unlucky, you get more than one.

MARISHA: And what if the ultimate problem is that I feel like I’ve had zero control from the start, since birth? I didn’t want any of this. I didn’t want my abilities. I didn’t know I was special until now. And I so desperately just want to be normal. I want to go back to being ignorance and bliss.

PATRICK: Then I do have a momentary, short-term solution for you.

MARISHA: Shoot.

PATRICK: It’s actually there, and I will get you another one.

(laughter)

PATRICK: It will help a little bit for now. It will smooth out some of the rough edges long enough for us to talk for a while. Because I’ve been down this road. Okay? The thing is, you’re not wrong, and you’re not crazy, but it’s not hopeless, either.

MARISHA: Okay. Thank you.

PATRICK: I’ll do maybe one of these. It feels like she wants one of these.

MARISHA: Yeah, yeah.

PATRICK: I can read that.

MARISHA: I give in. Yeah. Yeah. You know, Kerr.

PATRICK: Yes?

MARISHA: Even surrounded–

SAM: He stabbed you in the back.

(laughter)

LIAM: The Chroma Conclave sends its regards!

(laughter)

MARISHA: So Game of Thrones.

MATT: As he brings you into a warm hug, and at first, there is the resistance because this is a person you don’t know. MARISHA: Yeah, and my headdress is a little wonky.

MATT: A little wonky due to the drink, due to not concentrating. However, as much as you travel with your friends, this stranger has seemingly come to you with more wisdom and understanding of your continuous predicaments than anybody has in a long time, if at all, and you give into the hug and realize just how nice it is to have somebody understand.

MARISHA: I was pretty much going to say that in character, but yeah, that’s pretty much what I feel.

MATT: Sorry.

MARISHA: No, no, that’s– I wasn’t– Yeah. Yeah. I tell Kern–

SAM: Kern?

MARISHA: Car. Kerr.

MATT: Somewhere in that neighborhood.

MARISHA: Care Bear. I tell Kerr, even surrounded by friends, I often feel so alone. Thank you for being a friend, even though we just met.

PATRICK: I get that.

MATT: He brings you in. Gets you another drink.

PATRICK: Actually, I’ll bring another drink out to her.

MATT: Oh, perfect. All right.

MARISHA: It’s crowded inside.

TALIESIN: I stumble outside for a bit as well at this point.

SAM: Meanwhile, I’m telling my table a story about how I won a cannonball contest last night.

MATT: They are enraptured.

SAM: It was in a dragon’s lair! I was amazing.

(laughter)

LAURA: Is Amelia awake at this point?

MATT: Amelia has woken up due to the sound and noise, and she’s wandering about with a drink in her hand now.

ASHLEY: All right. We’ll walk over to her.

TRAVIS: I’ll stay with you, but just behind you.

LAURA: Amelia?

MATT: “Hi, yes! Thank you again for releasing me from the terrible stocks. I really appreciate that. Thank you for everything you’ve done for Westruun.”

LAURA: Well, thank you for everything you’ve done. I’ve heard amazing things about you and your family.

MATT: “We’re meager folk. We come from very simple roots. I–” And she takes a big, long sip of her flagon, sets it down on the table and wipes her mouth. “Truth be told, I– as soon as I saw that dragon, I ran straight away. I didn’t– You guys are the heroes. I didn’t do anything.”

LAURA: I sit down next to her.

ASHLEY: I sit down next to her, too. (whispers) Should we just wait till the morning?

LAURA: We have to do it right now. So. We knew– your father is Reginald.

MATT: “Yes. Have you seen him?”

LAURA: Yes. He– I take her hands. One of the bravest men I’ve ever had the honor of meeting.

MATT: There’s recognition in her eyes. Her head pulls back a bit. Her expression goes stoic as she sinks in the wordless reality that you’ve just bestowed upon her.

LAURA: I know this can be– I know how hard this is to hear. But none of this would have happened, none of this celebration would be possible without him. He sacrificed himself, so that all of us could live, and he spoke your name in the end. He wanted nothing more than for you to be taken care of.

MATT: (long pause) “That sounds like Dad.” Wipes her eyes.

LAURA: Would you like to pray, Pike?

ASHLEY: I don’t know if you’re a woman of faith, but–

MATT: “What faith do you belong to?”

ASHLEY: I follow Sarenrae.

MATT: “Then, for the night, as do I.” She reaches over and takes her flagon, and the tears are streaming down her face in spite of her smile, and she looks to you both, and looks to you. “To Reginald. To Dad.”

TRAVIS: To Reggie.

ASHLEY: To Reggie.

MATT: And she starts weeping into her hands.

TRAVIS: Amelia. You should also know, your father was a man of a few tricks. He told us that he had been saving this up for whenever you were old enough, but I think you should have it now. I hand her 400 gold pieces.

MATT: She looks up for a moment. “How? How did– they took everything.”

LAURA: He hid it.

MATT: “This could help a lot of us. Okay.”

TRAVIS: I think he knew you would do well with it.

LAURA: Dear, there’s more coming to the town. You take care of yourself.

MATT: (deep breath) “We’ll take care of each other. I think that’s what he’d want.”

TRAVIS: Aye.

MATT: She grabs her flagon again and takes a big old sip, sets it down. Her eyes are dried a little bit. She wipes the last away.

TRAVIS: I pour my flagon into hers.

MATT: She laughs and drinks of it again. Definitely embraced the idea that she’s going to get really drunk tonight. She begins joining in, singing with the music. And the rest of the party picks up as the celebration once again fills the air. The rest of the folks gathering around. (birds tweeting) Don’t know why there were birds in that track.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Is it morning?

MATT: There will be a lot of partying through the night, so probably it’s an eventuality. However, we will take this moment to take a quick break to the restroom. We will return here for the next bit of this adventure, so we’ll be right back here in a few minutes, guys. Stick around.

(cheering)

Break
[break]

Part II
MATT: Welcome back. So as you return here, bellies full, the evening of drinks, rabble-rousing, and stress release through conversation and laughter carries through until the morning light comes. Everyone wakes up extremely hungover, but in a way that is well-earned and still worthy of the evening that transpired before it. You all come to consciousness, about midday at this time now.

LAURA: Whoa.

MATT: You all slept in after what happened.

LIAM: I actually spent the night in a field with Reginald.

SAM: Ew.

MATT: You did.

LIAM: That’s your brain, man. I sat next to his body, waiting for people to come back, they never did. I piled some of Keyleth’s flowers on his chest, and then I fell asleep, in the field, six feet away from him. Party!

MARISHA: Did you think we were going to–

LIAM: Yeah, well.

MARISHA: Never mind.

LIAM: I don’t know.

LAURA: Oh. Shit.

LIAM: I don’t know what I thought, but that’s what I did.

LAURA: Why didn’t you check up on the earring, dude?

LIAM: I wanted some space.

MATT: So as you all come around to the breakfast morning, food is being cooked up within the kitchen by some of the various villagers that have taken up to help out with what they can in the area. You start realizing that Vax is nowhere to be found and as this conversation begins to progress, he eventually finds you guys and waltzes into the groaning room of semi-conscious Westruun denizens.

LAURA: (yawns) Where were you?

LIAM: Getting a good night’s sleep on a field of grass. How are you doing?

MARISHA: We had a bender.

LIAM: You need some water?

MARISHA: Yeah.

LIAM: Can you make some?

LAURA: In that endless jug? Or does it only make beer and mayonnaise?

MARISHA: Say water to the endless jug.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it makes water.

SAM: It seems like a waste.

TRAVIS: Give me water like the ocean!

SAM: Oh, no, no, no!

TALIESIN: No!

MATT: The jug is now filled with water to the top.

TRAVIS: Yeah, look! Water.

LAURA: Is it saltwater?

MARISHA: I dip my finger in and take a taste.

MATT: It is saltwater.

LAURA: (groans) Damn it, Grog.

TRAVIS: Did I do it wrong?

SAM: You did it wrong.

TALIESIN: You should try that, though. See if you like it.

TRAVIS: Is there anybody else sleeping in the room?

MATT: There are a few folks that are probably still sleeping off the drinking, but I’d say the majority of the folks have woken up in various states of grogginess.

TRAVIS: (whispers) Hey, should we wake up the rest of the people with this?

SAM: The people who’ve lost their city? You’re going to prank them?

TRAVIS: Well, I’m feeling a bit salty this morning.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: I go outside and I dump it.

MARISHA: I cast a Create Water spell so we can all have some water.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: We should probably call everyone in the town to talk.

MARISHA: Yeah, we should have a big meeting, let them decide what they want to do with the rest of their fucking lives.

TALIESIN: What did you have to drink last night?

LAURA: Is there a bartender or somebody that’s running the inn that everyone’s staying at? Or is it kind of makeshift–

MATT: It’s just kind of makeshift. However, whoever who once ran this place is no longer here, probably left with the first or second wave of evacuees. Everyone here is just kind of doing their part to keep it going.

LAURA: Can I grab someone nearby that looks like they’re up and about and actually accomplishing things?

MATT: Yeah. There’s an older woman who did not drink but just was around last evening who’s done most of the cleaning– and even though there’s no reason to clean, she’s still just kind of going through the motions of wiping down the counters and putting things away properly.

LAURA: Dear heart, um–

MATT: “Yes?”

LAURA: Could you spread the word that there’s going to be a town meeting?

MATT: “A town meeting? What for?”

LAURA: So we can talk about how to keep everyone safe, dear.

MATT: “All right.”

LAURA: Yes. As soon as possible, can everyone meet here?

SAM: No, the central–

LAURA: In the center of town.

SAM: Where we killed Kevdak.

LAURA: Where the goliaths, where the barbarians– sorry, Grog– where all the mean people were.

MATT: “All right, I’ll get the word out.” And she puts away a couple of towels and grabs a couple of people near her, and the three of them saunter out into the main walkway.

SAM: Also, I don’t know if he remembers, but sometime in our revelry last night, I asked Kerr if he could– I gave him a sheath, just a sheath of a sword– and I asked him if he could make just a little– there’s some metal components to it– I was asking him if he could just make a little secret compartment on it. Like a place that you could hide a little vial or a little powder or a little note or something, just in the side of the sheath.

PATRICK: What are the odds that I would make a total hash of that?

(laughter)

PATRICK: I’m imagining I don’t do that much delicate work.

MATT: No. But also, how much did you drink last night?

PATRICK: Oh, right! Yeah, I can totally do that.

MATT: So, how much– how drunk were you?

PATRICK: You know, I probably was pretty modest. I probably drank with her, to be social. And then I probably just kind of prowled and made sure nothing got out of hand and everyone was okay. Yeah, I probably– I’ll take a shot at it. How attached to this sheath are you?

TALIESIN: (snickers)

SAM: Yes. Extremely.

PATRICK: Extremely.

(laughter)

PATRICK: I’ll see what I can do.

LIAM: Just nail a sock on the side of it, it’ll be great.

(laughter)

SAM: I don’t make the best decisions.

MATT: Especially while drinking. You find your way back to your forge, which is still functional. It was not one of the buildings that fell on the initial attack. You heat it up late into the evening. It doesn’t require a lot because it’s smaller work. Go ahead and make a blacksmithing check with your proficiency bonus. Plus, with this, it would be dexterity. Because it’s very, very minute work.

SAM: Could I have inspired him?

MATT: You could. Yes! You can very much do that.

SAM: I will give him a limerick to inspire him with.

MATT: Drunken Scanlan limerick, here we go!

SAM: Have you heard the legend of Shale? One eye, elderly, frail? To a black dragon, she told, “You may be ancient, but I’m old!” And somehow lived to tell the tale.

(cheering)

MATT: Go and take your d10 inspiration dice, if you want to add that to the roll.

PATRICK: All right. So, just proficiency bonus–

MATT: Plus your dex bonus.

PATRICK: Yeah, my vast dex bonus. 16.

MATT: 16. That’s not bad. It’s not the finest craftsmanship in the world, and what once was a very, very beautifully detailed sheath to a weapon now has a somewhat hammered, dented element to it that you probably want to hide with a silk or something. It’s an imperfection in what was a previously a perfect element, but it is functional. It is a small compartment that actually has a tiny metal slot that can be moved closed or open with your thumb.

SAM: Great!

MATT: It’s functional. It’s not pretty, but it is functional.

PATRICK: We focus on function here.

SAM: I understand. Thank you for your nimble fingers. Next time, I’ll ask Percy to do it.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: And it will explode.

MARISHA: I make a tonic out of the glissfoil that I had in my pouch from the garden back in Emon. Pass it out, a little hangover tonic.

MATT: It does help, actually.

LAURA: All of us?

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: Sweet!

MARISHA: Just a little crushed herbs and water, like a tea.

TRAVIS: A little hair of the dog, huh?

LAURA: Thanks, Kiki!

TRAVIS: Are we day drinking?

SAM: Also, before we go to the meeting, I haven’t used it in a while but I would like to use my Scrying Potion to– not potion! The scry that I left at our Greyskull Keep so long ago, to kind of see what’s going on at Greyskull.

TALIESIN: Your scry pie?

SAM: Yeah.

MATT: Glancing at it this moment now, and it’s about midday, you concentrate on what you left behind.

SAM: Yep. We all know what it was.

MATT: You have a brief view, a small windowed view of the kitchen before you. It seems to be currently empty.

SAM: But still standing?

MATT: But still standing. You do notice, in the sink there are some fresh dishes.

SAM: Oh! Okay.

TALIESIN: Squatters.

MARISHA: It’s fucking squatters.

SAM: Or maybe our staff.

TALIESIN: Unpaid now, so now they’re squatters.

SAM: Okay.

MATT: (laughs) It’s an important distinction.

TRAVIS: Can you talk through your poop?

SAM: No, no. Poo doesn’t work that way, Travis. It’s a one-way street.

TRAVIS: The finer points are lost on me.

ASHLEY: You left it in the kitchen?

SAM: I left it in a jar in the kitchen and I told the people not to open it.

MARISHA: We only got a C on our general inspection rating.

(laughter)

MATT: There’s a parchment that’s just nailed to the outside of the keep. At least it’s good calligraphy. All right, so unless you have anything else to prepare in this time, most of the townsfolk are beginning to converge towards the square in the central-southern region of Westruun where you had the showdown battle with Kevdak outside of the Margrave’s home. The now deceased Margrave. Everyone seems to have gathered together and there is an air of tension. As you approach, as folks are muttering to themselves, then it gets quiet as you all step into the central area. There is still– it’s been pulled over, it was partially damaged before, but there is a large elevated platform that was used for speeches or celebration elements that has been, for the time being, fixed to allow you guys to stand up if you wish to address the rest of the folks.

LAURA: Who wants to talk? Scanlan? You’re so charismatic.

TALIESIN: What are we going to say?

SAM: I’m still reading my book. But, yes, we’re just going to ask them a question.

LAURA: I think we need to ask them where they want to go.

TALIESIN: And if they ask what we think?

SAM: We don’t think anything. We’ll support their decision, right?

TALIESIN: I think something.

SAM: What do you think?

MARISHA: I guess I could talk to them?

TALIESIN: I would like to build– The death of a city is such a blasphemy. It is the murder of the dead. And I’m horrified.

MARISHA: Percy, a city is nothing without living people in it. A city is made up of the people that live inside of it.

TALIESIN: It is.

MARISHA: We have to protect them first.

LIAM: Percival’s suggesting letting them live here, building something for them underground–

MARISHA: Which we can facilitate?

LIAM: Rather than running.

SAM: We have a lot of other things to do– let’s talk to them.

TRAVIS: How about Pike talks to them?

ASHLEY: Me?!

TRAVIS: Yeah! You were born here.

LAURA: This is true! Pike? They know you.

ASHLEY: (sighs) Well, I’m not very charismatic.

SAM: I’ll be with you.

TRAVIS: But you’re genuine.

ASHLEY: Do you want to help me?

LIAM: Exactly. You are genuine.

ASHLEY: So we’re telling them– asking them if they want to stay. And if they do stay, that we could built them shelter.

LAURA: Help them take shelter in the sewers. If there’s danger.

TRAVIS: The dragon’s dead. We don’t know if another one will come.

LAURA: Can we ask before we go up on the stage if Kerr, if you’re willing to help, should they want that? Is that something you could help us with?

PATRICK: I would be delighted to help facilitate things between you and the community. I know a lot of people that have left will return. I don’t doubt that for a second. But right now, everyone is scattered and scared. And a lot of families have been separated. A lot of people who would love to return here and rebuild the city, they don’t know where their loved ones are. And I know that is preying on their minds more than their own safety, in some cases. I know most people are looking to leave and come back eventually. And depending on the resources, like what you’ve generously offered from the caves– that will keep them from being refugees. They can continue to be a community in this other town, and then return, well-organized and with resources to build it. (sighs) I don’t feel they’re ready to do it here and now, though. I don’t feel they’re excited about that. I know that so many of them have people from their lives they’re just missing.

TRAVIS: And by the way, it’s going to be a hot second before the carts come back from the cave, right?

PATRICK: Yeah. Probably–

MATT: Another day or two before they arrive, yeah.

MARISHA: Can we even say that these people are in–

ASHLEY: So are you thinking they won’t want to stay, then?

PATRICK: I know from speaking to a lot of people over the last couple of days, and even speaking to them last night, they’re relieved that the dragon is gone. But they’re worried about more in the future. But primarily, they’re looking to be safe now, and reunite with their friends and family, and most of those people are in–?

MATT: Kymal.

PATRICK: Kymal.

LIAM: I think we give them a choice. But I think, Pike, I think it’s a good idea. I think you present the idea of staying and getting word to the people in Kymal that some of their loved ones are still here, still living. The dragon is dead. Summon them back to rebuild.

LAURA: How far away is Kymal?

SAM: Two days’ travel.

TRAVIS: Wow. Fucking Shorthalt!

ASHLEY: How do you know?

LAURA: Was that in your book?

SAM: My girl is there.

LAURA: Your daughter’s in Kymal?

SAM: Yes. I’ll be going there anyway.

TRAVIS: Haylie? Maylie?

SAM: Kaylie.

MARISHA: And Kymal hasn’t been hit yet?

TALIESIN: Not yet.

LIAM: Is Kymal bigger or smaller than Westruun?

MATT: It’s smaller than Westruun.

LAURA: Well–

LIAM: They’re better off in Westruun.

MARISHA: I’m afraid with each refugee we add to another city, we’re only making it a larger target.

TALIESIN: Which is why– (sighs) There is no safe harbor right now.

MARISHA: And there’s no point in rebuilding–

TALIESIN: There is.

MARISHA: Why?

TALIESIN: Because this is civilization. This is–

MARISHA: There’s no point in rebuilding right now when there’s still three other dragons who will only come and go, 'Stomp, stomp, stomp! Dead!’

TRAVIS: They might.

TALIESIN: They might.

MARISHA: They. Will.

TALIESIN: No, they might. We don’t know they will.

PATRICK: If you were a dragon, what would you do?

TALIESIN: I would hit the city where all the refugees are going. Because it would hurt more. I would not hit the city that’s going to take 200 years to be a shadow of its former self.

MARISHA: Yes, but you’re also not a vain dragon who just had one of its allies taken out in this very city. These dragons are going to have a huge vendetta against Westruun now.

TALIESIN: I may not have lost an ally, but I am a vain dragon.

TRAVIS: Maybe they will, maybe they won’t. How about for those who want to stay, we help build some fortifications. For those who want to leave, we’ll protect them on their way there.

LIAM: We’re at wartime. The people can live underground. For now.

TALIESIN: Building will give them something to do. And if the dragon comes back, they will be safe underground. And if the dragon doesn’t, we have saved thousands of years of inspiration and life. It’s– you can’t just abandon something like this! There’s too much here.

LIAM: Otherwise, what else are we fighting for? TALIESIN: Otherwise, it becomes our friend Pike from Nowhere.

TRAVIS: That would be bad.

ASHLEY: That would be bad.

LAURA: That would be terrible.

TRAVIS: Scanlan, get their attention.

SAM: Get their attention? All right.

LAURA: And Pike, do you want to step up there?

ASHLEY: Okay. I’ll go, I’ll go.

SAM: I blow my horn to call the meeting to attention.

MATT: (horn noise) Everyone gets really quiet. The two of you step up onto the platform–

ASHLEY: (airhorn noises)

MATT: (laughs) It gets quiet. Everyone gets quiet. You hear one voice in the back go, “That’s my Pike!” As you immediately look over, you see at the far end is Wilhand, leaping up, trying to get a view between the crowd. Everyone’s quiet, looking at the two of you, now on top of this platform. Which puts you just over head height from the rest of the folks, by the way.

ASHLEY: (stuttering) Hello, everybody from the town.

SAM: I’m doing sign-language interpretation.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: I know I’m not one usually to speak up, but because I know so many of you and some of you are family– (blows kiss) Um, we– I’m sure you guys have heard because of the party and festivities from last night, the dragon has been killed.

MATT: There’s a cheer (crowd cheers), clapping–

ASHLEY: And we know that some of you have stayed because if anything else, this is your home.

MATT: Some murmuring.

ASHLEY: And some of your family has left for Kymal?

SAM: Kymal.

ASHLEY: Kymal. But we wanted to give you all an option. And for those of you that do want to stay, we would like to provide you with an underground protection of sorts.

MATT: (whispering and murmuring) Whispers through the crowds.

SAM: As we speak, upwards of 40,000 gold are being delivered by your finest men. This, with our help, can help construct a sturdy underground layer that will shelter you if the dragon were to come back. It will take days, possibly weeks to construct this. But if you wanted to stay, this would be your best bet. However, we are not forcing you to do anything. If you would like to go with the fellow refugees to Kymal, or find your fellow citizens scattered about, roving in the lowlands, that would be fine too. We need to come to an agreement today, so that we can help you do what you want.

MATT: One gentleman takes the stage next to you guys, man in his younger 20s, kind of soot smeared on his cheeks. Looks like he’s a little weathered by the experience. Even though he looks young and thin, there is a general hardness to his face from recent experiences. He kind of raises up, looking at the both of you, below him: “I, for one, miss my family and have no home to go back to. And the the homes that are empty in this town right now are empty because those who lived there are now dead. There are ghosts here I wish not to see every morning when I wake up. If I’m going to live here, I want to return with those that are important to me and build a new home, over the old. Now is not my time to stay. Especially if more of those things are coming back. If anyone wishes to come with me to Kymal, please, stand with me.” And he steps off the stage and make his way to the right side of the stage. Everyone in the crowd looks to each other, and few folks begin filtering off and gathering around him. I’d say about a third to half of the crowd begins to shift over as another person steps up right next to you guys, actually. This is a woman in her late 40s or so. She’s wearing relatively nice clothing that’s been kind of torn apart through constant use and not really having an option to change into. She looks like she came from money, but has definitely been pulled down to the same level as the rest of the folks here; they’re living in destitution out of necessity. Her hair’s trying to be pulled up into a bun, but a lot of it is kind of falling around her face, and she’s keeping this kind of poor facade of her previous life. And she stands up: “I myself, my family’s history is here in this town and I would be remiss if I didn’t express my hesitation in leaving that behind, for the next roving horde of barbarians to rush in and take from us while we’re away. Especially if this gold is to be retrieved, how do we know how much of that is to be distributed? How much was my family’s versus yours? If we’re to divide ourselves at this point, we’re leaving ourselves open to inner conflict, lest we have a very clear idea where these funds are going. And I, for one, want to make sure I have a home when my family returns. So I’m not leaving. I’m not going to come back here months down the line and find four layabouts living in that home, made a complete mess of our things, and telling us it’s now theirs. Those who wish to stay, stand with me.” (harrumphs) And she walks offstage, to the side–

TALIESIN: I’m going to get up on stage.

SAM: (whispers) You don’t live here.

TALIESIN: The terrible woman may have a point.

(laughter)

MATT: “Thank you. What?”

TALIESIN: (sighs) Many of you are going to leave, and that’s fair. And that’s right, you’re free to do so. I wish any of us could promise you safety once you leave this city. But there is no safety anywhere. The dragons fly freely. They may come back and wreak their vengeance upon the rest of Westruun once again. They may not. They may find new, fresh targets. We don’t know. (long sigh) We will build an underground haven in case of attack, free of charge. We will make a place that is open to all. Since there seems to be some dispute about the finances, we will create a trust that will be used to help those who stay and help rebuild. It will be managed and it will be fair. And it will not go to titles. If you’re properly titled, you’ll have money elsewhere, and you’ll figure it out.

(laughter)

MATT: You hear, “Hmph!”

TALIESIN: New money.

(laughter)

SAM: Old magic!

TALIESIN: Old magic, new money from ivory towers. I would urge you to stay. I would urge you to leave, collect your people and return. I would urge for one city not to be wiped from the map. And anything we can do to make this at least livable while it is rebuilt, we will do our best to help. (sighs) It is such a victory for them if Westruun falls. And I sit back down.

MATT: Make a persuasion check with advantage.

TALIESIN: 22.

MATT: There is a silence in the crowd and people have stopped shuffling from side to side. Some of the folks on the side of the gentleman began to shift back and people tend to stand up. And even the gentleman who was standing at the opposite side kind of ponders for a moment: “Well, regardless of what happens, we have to get word out. We have to let our loved ones know what has happened, and that it’s safe to come back. If you indeed can help us set this about, I’m confident we can keep out of sight. At least, hopefully.”

MARISHA: I stand up on the podium. Um, sorry. While the terrible man and the terrible woman both absolutely have a point–

SAM: (whispers) He’s not that bad.

TALIESIN: (whispers) I’m that bad.

MARISHA: I look at the man who’s off to side. I agree with you that finding your loved ones is most important. I believe we can actually maybe do a little bit of both here and solve both problems. Me, alongside with the help of other magic users, can help quickly build an underground bunker. And I would be willing to help escort any party to Kymal in order to help find your people. Whereas I do agree, to an extent, with Percy that we should not let Westruun fall to this, this city is only as great as its people.

LAURA: Woo! Good leadership!

(laughter)

SAM: That’s definitely Vex.

MATT: Some claps and a few folks kind of agree and nod their heads. The gentleman that you’ve been talking to kind of looks at you and he’s very intently engaged and nodding in agreement.

MARISHA: Uh. To Westrunn! Huzzah!?

LAURA: Huzzah!

TALIESIN: The awkward woman makes a fine point!

MATT: And the people eventually raise their arms, “To Westruun!” “To Westruun!”

(laughter)

MATT: The clapping comes together.

TRAVIS: Yeah, football rules!

TALIESIN: Pike, do you remember that spell you cast on Greyskull Keep when it got hit by the dragon? The thing you did–

LAURA: That was Divine Intervention, I thought.

TALIESIN: Was that Divine–?

MATT: No, she summoned a Planar Ally. That one was–

ASHLEY: To help rebuild?

TALIESIN: That was expensive, wasn’t it?

ASHLEY: No.

MATT: That spell was expensive.

ASHLEY: Yes!

LAURA: It was, like, a thousand gold?

MATT: That was Planar Ally–

ASHLEY: What do you want to rebuild? I mean, underground–

MATT: Depends on how long you want it to stay. So a task measured in hours requires a thousand gold per hour.

TALIESIN: No, no, no.

MATT: A task measured in days requires 10,000 gold per day–

LAURA: (in alarm) No, no, no!

MATT: Mind you, these entities can do some crazy stuff.

SAM: Yeah. And we have 40,000 more gold coming. That’s four days of entities–

LAURA: But I don’t want to use up all the– we can do that after things are–

SAM: What else are we going to spend the money on?

ASHLEY: I can try Divine Intervention again so–

MARISHA: We don’t want to rebuild a city that’s going to be stomped by dragons in another three months!

ASHLEY: No, just the bunker, right?

LAURA: Just the bunker–

ASHLEY: Not the city.

LAURA: No.

ASHLEY: Keyleth can make the bunker.

LAURA: It’s fine.

SAM: For hundreds and hundreds of people?

TALIESIN: Yes.

MARISHA: Honestly, if we take a couple days, I can make a pretty extensive–

TALIESIN: We’re going to use a previously existing sewer system, and we’re just going to reinforce it with pillars and then block off any of the sewage and re-route it, since it doesn’t have to handle the load that it used to.

ASHLEY: We’re going to build a vault?

TALIESIN: We’re going to build a vault.

PATRICK: While they’re chatting, I’ll step forward and I’ll say: we all have a lot to think about. Talk with your friends and neighbors and come to know your own minds. This is a decision that has to be made soon, but not on the spur of the moment. Thank you for coming.

MATT: One man in the front, an old friend of yours, his name is Joseph, puts his hand up, “Kerrek! Of which mind are you? Are you staying or are you going? Are you going to escort, go along as an escort with this woman, or are you staying to protect us? Where you walk, I walk.”

PATRICK: I am going to do what would be best for the town as a whole. I am not sure– to a certain extent, I’ll be led what is needed by the town. If–

MATT: “What we need is a decision.”

SAM: If I may, If I may, I’m so sorry, I know everyone’s talking here. A city is not just a collection of houses and streets. It is a person of itself. And we can’t go dividing it right now. Everyone should stay here. Everyone should be a unit, a cohesive unit. And we: me, Keyleth, and one of your own, Pike, will definitely travel to Kymal to spread the word, if you give us a list of your ancestors, family members, friends, we can get word to all of them very quickly.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

SAM: 28.

MATT: Everyone in the crowd seems to nod, and the gentleman kind of nods his head to you, “All right.”

(laughter)

TALIESIN: You’re a monster.

PATRICK: Since you haven’t been as present in the community for a while, if I am sure that things are adequately defended here, I might go myself to ensure the proper apportionment of funds and to talk to those of our townsfolk who have already left, and perhaps organize them a little more effectively so that they can return.

MATT: There’s a few nods of agreement that spread through the crowd, and actually, the folks on the left side, with the woman that seemed to building tension and arguing amongst themselves over the ideas of that, seem to quiet a bit at you taking up that position. You guys notice this, too; there’s a general respect for Kerrek that other folks don’t seem to carry in this community. Everyone nods in agreement. “Well, I have no objections!” “Neither do I.” The woman on the other side. (huffs) “Well, have no other choice, do we?” Everyone nods, and they look up to the rest of you. Look to you. “Then let’s begin building.”

LAURA: Bunker it is.

LIAM: As all that starts to wind down, I ask my sister to point me towards Reginald’s daughter.

LAURA: Do you see her?

LIAM: The one with the nice hair?

LAURA: Yeah, that one. And the giant bag of gold.

LIAM: I seek her out in the crowd.

MATT: She’s still looking up, kind of by herself in the crowd, clapping off to the side as you approach.

SAM: I’m going to hang near him.

LIAM: Excuse me, young miss.

MATT: “Yes? Hi.”

LIAM: I’m sorry. We haven’t spoken, but you spoke to my friends. You spoke to my sister. My sister looks very much–

MATT: “I can see the similarity, yes.”

LIAM: I know the news they delivered to you. I am so sorry for your loss. Your father was very brave at the end. Impressively so, and I want you to know that. I’ve also recovered his body, and I thought to add him to the pyres that this city did outside the city, but I thought maybe you had a family plot or somewhere you’d prefer him to be laid to rest. I’ll gladly take him there for you, or take him with you. Whatever you prefer.

MATT: “I’ll come with you. I’d like to see him one last time. We have no family plot. We were meager folk. But he spent most of his life working in that field. I think it’s only fitting that’s where he spends the rest of his days. Show me.” And as you guys begin the building process, she follows you out to the field where she is shown the body of Reginald, and she takes a moment of quiet with him, and cradles his body. But there’s a smile on her face, and she says thank you for letting her say goodbye face to face. With your help, you both bring the body back to the farmhouse where you had first met, and you spend the rest of the day interring his body within the hillside that is buttressed against the actual farmland that he tilled.

LIAM: To lose a parent before their time is no easy thing. I’m very sorry for you.

MATT: “It’s all right. He did good.”

LIAM: That he did.

MATT: “Let’s go ahead and make sure the rest of these folk have more to look forward to, shall we?” She looks at you for a second, and you can see she takes a general scope of your expression and your emotional state, and even for a young girl, she has a stronger insight than you expected, and she puts her arm out and touches your shoulder and says, “You carry too much sadness with you. You’ve done a lot of good. Let yourself– Let yourself understand and accept the fact that you’ve done a lot of good.” And she starts walking back towards the town.

LIAM: I linger for a bit.

MATT: All right. Now. You guys begin the process of building this subterranean bunker. You take the first day, scanning through as a group, clearing out whatever creatures lurk beneath the city. Nothing of severe threat lies down there to your power level, and you know, what once was a threat to you guys long ago, within the period of a day, you’ve cleared out a very, very sizable portion of the sewer system. And because it’s been empty for quite a while, it’s also not in a very terrible state either. I mean, it still needs to be cleaned, but that’s also the specialty of those who can control water and air, let alone reinforcing the stonework that keeps the walls themselves sturdy, strong, able to support any heavy weight on the surface. Within the next couple days, you guys continue the reinforcing process. People begin actually moving their supplies down underground and begin taking bits of furniture and elements that would at least make life down there more comfortable, or at least, a ghost image of some of the life they lived above. Because when you’re down there, the comforts are what keep you going. But the people seem, as more and more of it comes together, folks genuinely begin to get a little excited at the idea of having a safe place to live for a while. And you feel like this is doing some good for these folks at the very least. Whenever you guys would like to take your journey–

TALIESIN: I would like to do a couple things just to the room before we do anything other than this to our houses.

MATT: Certainly.

TALIESIN: I would like on one wall to carve the names of every survivor who stayed in the city. And on the other wall start–

SAM: In Draconian.

TALIESIN: In Draconian.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: Terrible person. And on the other wall, start carving in the story of–

MARISHA: Those we’ve lost? That’s not what you were going to say.

TALIESIN: What we’ve done to save the city, and where the story, and where the city came from, and what has happened, and make a place where other people, they can start carving in also the history and everything they need to say about the city, just one of the giant walls, I just want to start filling in with stories of the city.

MATT: Okay, and this catches your attention too, because as pragmatic an individual as Percy is, this is a strangely artistic endeavor of his point, at least the intent behind it.

TALIESIN: You disagree with my opinions.

MARISHA: I don’t really agree with immortalizing ourselves in stone–

TALIESIN: It’s not about us.

MARISHA: –way before we’re even dead–

LAURA: It’s not us, Keyleth. It’s the history of the town. Perk up, you’re driving me crazy.

(laughter)

TALIESIN: How long do you live?

MARISHA: If I complete my journey, it could be upward of a thousand years or more.

TALIESIN: How long do you think I live?

MARISHA: Less than a hundred? If you’re lucky.

TALIESIN: No.

MARISHA: How long?

TALIESIN: (sighs) I am Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III.

MARISHA: No kidding.

TALIESIN: My ancestry dates back thousands of years and will continue for thousands more, unless Whitestone falls. I live as long as Whitestone lives. This place is the human soul. This is what we have built with our tiny moments. To lose a place like this, we don’t feel it immediately, but it would ruin everyone in small ways.

MARISHA: Not all of us are lucky enough to have a lineage in a name.

TALIESIN: Not all of us are lucky enough to have a lineage in a lifespan.

MARISHA: Not many of us are lucky enough to have a lineage at all.

TALIESIN: Which is why we save everyone we can.

MARISHA: I guess that is one thing we can both agree on.

TALIESIN: This is good we’re doing here. This is great good. And it’s not about idolizing ourselves; it’s about a very long story, which we are, even you, a tiny part of.

MATT: At this moment, you look down and notice that, while you guys were having this talk, a small child has walked up to the wall and where Percy has stopped the carving, the child has picked up a piece of wayward chalk that was on the ground and has begun to draw little stick figures on the wall where you stopped. And in a little bit of the quiet, he stops and looks up over his shoulder at the two of you and smiles, and then just goes back to writing on the wall.

TALIESIN: He’ll outlive you, right there.

MARISHA: Yeah, no, you’re probably right. Look at him. I guess this little guy is like the moment encapsulated. Hey, bud.

LIAM: (kid voice) That’s a octopus!

LAURA: (kid voice) That’s a shark. This is a flower.

ASHLEY: (kid voice) This a bear!

TALIESIN: I give Keyleth a little hug.

SAM: Pikey-pants. Do you want to have gone to Kymal? Or do you want to have stayed and helped?

ASHLEY: Didn’t you volunteer me to help?

SAM: I volunteered you to come with me to Kymal.

ASHLEY: I’ll go with you to Kymal.

TRAVIS: I’ll come along to chaperone. No, I’m kidding.

SAM: You can.

PATRICK: Oh, so these two things are happening simultaneously?

MARISHA: Are these two things happening simultaneously?

MATT: This is up to you guys. The Kymal journey–

LAURA: It’s a couple days.

SAM: A couple days and back.

MATT: Well, not according to druidic spells.

SAM: Oh yeah. You could bamf us there.

MATT: Which is what I assumed you were referring to about instantaneous travel.

TALIESIN: At some point we should put a teleport circle in this, down here.

LAURA: That would probably be smart.

MATT: Well, you would have to contact an arcane practitioner.

TALIESIN: Somebody else is going to do this. We’ve got shit to do.

ASHLEY: Let’s bamf in.

SAM: Let’s go do it.

MARISHA: So we’re all going to go?

MATT: If you would like to.

LAURA: I’m going to stay and help build.

MATT: Okay. So, Scanlan, Pike, and Keyleth, you’re going with them?

MARISHA: I guess so. You guys are going to need me to get back.

SAM: That’s true.

MARISHA: Unless I can get you there, and then you can walk back. Fly there, walk back. Or you can–

TALIESIN: Teleport.

ASHLEY: Can you fly?

SAM: I can fly.

MARISHA: I can mist form us, and then we can get there in how many hours?

MATT: Mist form, you’d get there in under a day.

MARISHA: Teleporting is more fun.

MATT: So what are you doing?

TALIESIN: Teleport them there, and then they can get back on their own.

SAM: Yeah, we can get back on our own. It’s two days.

MARISHA: All right.

TALIESIN: They just killed a dragon, they’ll be fine. What’s a bandit going to do?

MARISHA: Have fun, you gnomes! (magic crackle)

MATT: All right. She finds one of the surface trees just outside of the sewage system. As she touches her hands to its bark, the bark cracks and splits open, revealing the doorway behind it, about five foot of internal wood tunnel leads to an opposing side that opens into what immediately is a tent city on the outside walls of Kymal. You guys quickly step through with the moments you have before the portal slams shut.

MARISHA: High five! High five!

SAM: Nope.

MARISHA: Asshole.

MATT: You do get a little tag from Pike right before it shuts.

MARISHA: Yeah! Scanlan, you suck!

(laughter)

MATT: You guys are now standing on the outside of a small cluster of trees outside of Kymal. The mountain range behind it, you can see, there are hundreds and hundreds of people that are displaced in the outside of the city in tents.

PATRICK: Before– because assuming it’s been, it sounds like a couple of days, if there’s walls and artistry happening, have the wagons gotten back?

MATT: They have, actually, yes.

PATRICK: And if there are those resources, and I know that this trip is happening, I’ve got to go across and make sure that my people aren’t dying of dysentery.

SAM: You’re coming?

PATRICK: Yeah.

SAM: Great. (coughing) Third wheel. Trying to get some action here.

(laughter)

MATT: There’s a high five tag to Keyleth as Pike jumps through, and before it slams shut, Kerr goes, “Wait!” and jumps through after.

SAM: No, this is great. It’s great to have an old dude with us also.

ASHLEY: I do think it’s great!

LIAM: Two old dudes.

ASHLEY: There’s so much that I wanted to talk to you about, Kerr! I’m so glad that you came along!

SAM: (grumbles)

(laughter)

PATRICK: There’s important work to be done here.

ASHLEY: There is very important work to be done, and I feel like we all need to focus on that, and get down to the nitty-gritty of it, you know?

LIAM: I think your nitty-gritty might be different from somebody else’s nitty-gritty.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: Let’s go, let’s walk!

SAM: Let’s go spread the good word about Westruun, and the great things happening in sewers there.

MATT: All right. You guys begin to make your way from tent to tent, finding individuals, many of which you recognize. Some have recognition of you, and there’s a brief little discussion of what’s happened, what’s transpired, and you tell them of the fall of Umbrasyl, of the herd being sundered and sent westward, and making sure, as Scanlan would, that Vox Machina is responsible.

SAM: Yes. And that it rhymes.

MATT: Indeed. There is no central guidance here. The Margrave Tumner Wann, who runs Kymal, does occasionally come out to check up on people. It’s not like they’re being kept out of the city forcefully. There’s just no room for them. They’ve taken in as many refugees as they can, and then everyone else on the outside is being helped to the best of their ability, but they’re very thin on resources. They’ve sent trade wagons out to Stillben, even southward, they sent some over into the Verdant Expanse to hopefully trade with Syngorn. There have been people that have been trying to help where they can. However, most of the people outside are still beginning to starve a little bit. A lot of the beasts of burden have been converted into food out of necessity, so there’s a lot of empty carts and wagons around. People are in this holding pattern, waiting to hear any news. And the news that you bring does bring hope to the eyes of those that do speak with you.

SAM: At some point in our journey I excuse myself for ten minutes, drink my last shit-scrying potion. Poop out a little loaf.

(laughter)

SAM: Take a tiny bit in it, wrap it in a little bit of parchment, stick it in the secret compartment of the hilt of the sword.

MATT: Okay.

SAM: The scabbard, yeah.

TALIESIN: You should name the sword Number Two.

(laughter)

SAM: I like it.

MATT: The classiest of magic practitioners, Scanlan Shorthalt. You do so. Like spackling a wall, you fill the compartment affixed within the scabbard without issue.

SAM: Thank you.

LIAM: Shove that dingleberry in there.

TALIESIN: Fresh blueberry sherbet.

MATT: Anyway.

SAM: All right, so we’ve spread the good word. Are people going to travel back, do you think?

MATT: Many folks are now considering returning. Some folks speak of another group of people that are over by the Foramere Basin. They’re going to go ahead and send people over there to give word. Some people are asking to see if their family members are okay, and you don’t know everyone’s name there, but you tell them there are survivors. Most of the people you talk to are intent on returning, because this living situation is only going to be so good for so long.

SAM: I hope we’re not sentencing them to death.

TALIESIN: To be fair, the town you’re currently in could be gone next week.

SAM: That’s true.

TALIESIN: Either way.

PATRICK: I know what’s needed back there. I’ve got access to money. They have wagons and labor. I know most of the people in town, so I’m not going to do it myself, but I know who– honestly, anyone who runs a farm is a better organizer than any modern small business owner.

MATT: This is very true.

PATRICK: So I will talk to a few of these old, capable farmer types and say, okay, here’s the money. You know how to bargain. Do your business, and we can get together and we’ll head back all together. As soon as you can get everyone together and all that. Also, I’ll put somebody in charge of making sure that we’re bringing in food, and I’ll do a scan around and make sure that people literally aren’t dying of dysentery. That they have a clean well and all of that stuff.

MATT: Yeah. I mean, there is disease, as tends to happen when you have people who are displaced and clustered like that in sub-par living conditions, but no major pandemics that are kicking through the people there. The people who are sick are being tended to, and there are people who are medically practiced, or at least herbalists and such, that can help with that. You find a slight group of trustworthy individuals that you know would do well and understand the process, and with the mere inclusion of a few thousand gold, would be more than enough to be able to purchase from the interior of Kymal enough oxen, horses, and other beasts to bring most of the current carts back with you. That was the only real barrier, because Kymal was like, “We can’t help you guys for free.” Now there’s gold, people are like, “Oh! Well, let’s talk.” Charity only goes so far. But you do feel through this trip that you’ve definitely made an impact, and most of the people, at least over the next week or so, will be outfitted with the proper materials, food for the journey, and be able to make their way back towards Westruun.

SAM: And I will also go to look for Dr. Dra and Kaylie at some point.

MATT: Go ahead and make an investigation check.

ASHLEY: I’ll go with him.

SAM: 27.

MATT: Okay. As you walk with him, within mere hours, almost like you picked up the scent on a hunt, you see a glimmer of short, dark hair, and you glance over, and sure enough, there is Kaylie, who is currently holding over her shoulder Dr. Dranzel, who is limping alongside her.

SAM: Oh God! Is he okay?

MATT: You can go and ask.

SAM: I’ll go and ask!

MATT: They’re walking across the street. They haven’t noticed you yet.

SAM: Oi! Shorthalt!

MATT: There’s a stop, and Kaylie turns her head.

SAM: Hi.

MATT: She drops Dranzel’s arm and rushes forward and gives you a hug. And then lets go after a second and pushes away. “Glad to see you survived. That’s good.”

SAM: You, too. How’s he?

MATT: “He’s got a foot infection, nothing too great to look about.” You look down and his left foot is all swollen. He’s like, “I’ve had worse!”

SAM: Pike has healed feet before.

ASHLEY: May I?

MATT: “Please. Be my guest.” As the half-orc grins with his hat still floppy on his head, he presents his horrible foot that gives off a delightful smell of putrescence.

SAM: While she works on him, I’m going to take Kaylie off to the side.

MATT: It’s easy enough for you to cleanse elements of disease with minor healing. We’ll say for the purposes of this, through a couple of low-level spells you’re able to pretty much take care of his foot entirely. He’s like, “That’s incredible! I mean, if you ever need a traveling troupe, we’re always looking for someone to keep us on the up and up! Can you cure hangovers?”

ASHLEY: I can.

MATT: “Well, hang with me, young Pike!” While this is happening, you turn to Kaylie.

SAM: I’m so happy that you are alive and safe, and I came a great distance to do other things, but mainly to see you, and I just wanted to say a few things before I go off to complete my mission. You know, I know I’m not the father that you wanted, but I’m the father that you have, and I’m sorry. I just wanted to tell you that I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about you, and me, and where I fit in to the life of a family man. Most of my adult life, I’ve been longing for a gnome to care for, and I met a really good one, and she’s here and her name is Pike. And she’s beautiful and wonderful, and possibly my soulmate, but I’ve learned that she’s not my family and never will be. You’re the gnome that I’m to care for forever, and I’m doing something very stupid now with my friends. We’re going to try to save the world. And I didn’t know why, but now I know, and if we die doing it, it will be for a good thing, and if we don’t, then, well, I’ll find you, and I’ll be whatever kind of father you need me to be. One who’s close and helpful.

MATT: She shushes you. Puts her finger up and shushes you, then steps up and looks at you. The hardness in her face softens, and there is a little bit of tears gathering at the edge of her eyes when she says, “Don’t you die. You stay alive.”

SAM: I don’t intend to. But you know, I was just inside a–

MATT: “You’re. Not. Going. To die. You’re going to go do your stupid world-saving mission like you told me, and you’re going to come back, and we’re going to have a lot to talk about.”

SAM: All right.

MATT: “All right. Can you do that for me?”

SAM: I promise you. I promise you.

MATT: “I’ll hold you to that.”

SAM: Well, you do the same, all right? Stay safe. I got you a present. It’s a ring. It’s a beautiful ring because you’re a beautiful girl, and I’d like you to keep it.

MATT: She takes it and looks at it and goes, “Are you sure this wasn’t for someone else?”

SAM: No. Never.

MATT: She puts it on.

SAM: And you’re also strong, and you’ll need this sword. And I give her my Singing Dawn Blade, which has a unique little imperfection at the bottom of it, and I say, this sword has killed a king, which makes it almost worthy enough for you. I hope that it keeps you safe until I can see you again.

MATT: “I don’t know what to say. I’ll start with thank you. Well, I feel pretty well protected.”

SAM: Okay. Get out of here. If you can, try to make your way to Vasselheim. There’s three more dragons, and it’ll be a while before I kill them all.

MATT: “I don’t know, you’ve done quite a bit of work in even these past few weeks. Vasselheim. I’ll talk it over with the doctor. See what he’s interested in. You promised.”

SAM: Gnome’s honor.

MATT: She reaches up and grabs your shirt and gives you a kiss on the forehead. And then pushes you away and says, “Get out of my fucking face.” Turns around and walks back towards Dr. Dranzel.

SAM: All right, Pike, I’m done.

ASHLEY: Okay!

MATT: “But she’s not done! You’re sticking with us, right?”

ASHLEY: I don’t think I can.

MATT: “Oh, I know. I’m just– I try.”

ASHLEY: But you guys are headed to– Where are you headed to? Where are you going to go?

MATT: “I don’t know! I figure we can– based on what we’re hearing around here, folks are heading back to Westruun. They probably need some cheering up on the road. From there, who knows? Actually, I’ve never been to Marquet before, but I’m thinking–” At this point, Kaylie comes up and goes, “Let’s have a talk. I’m feeling a bit of religion coming on. Perhaps we should look further west. Northwest. Vasselheim. Not a lot of music in those parts. They’ll be willing to pay for that, I assume.” He’s like, “Vasselheim? It’s cold there, isn’t it? Let’s get some furs.” They both start walking away from you guys.

ASHLEY: Before they go, I just reach out my hand and introduce myself to Kaylie. I’ve heard many lovely things about you.

MATT: She looks at you guardedly and takes your hand. “As I’ve heard of you. He made a promise.”

ASHLEY: I’ll make sure that he keeps it.

MATT: “Thank you.” They keep walking. So, with the money dispersed, the group having a returning sense of hope, with materials, goods, food being redistributed amongst the refugees, it appears there is a direction for the future of Westruun that you’ve set into place. As you guys gather the rest of your things, Keyleth, you take an evening’s rest with the troupe, and the next morning return back to Westruun. LIAM: Something I wanted to do last night. In all the hubbub that’s going on in Westruun, I spend some time to find my sister, and I wanted to stealth up on her.

MATT: Easy enough to do while they’re out and about taking their rest with the group in Kymal, while you guys are still helping rebuilding. So yes, go ahead and make a stealth check.

LAURA: I’m just reading these names on this wall!

LIAM: 20.

MATT: What’s your passive perception?

LAURA: 21.

SAM: Oh, shit!

MATT: You hear a few very, very faint, very familiar steps come across the stones behind you.

LAURA: I pretend like I don’t hear them.

LIAM: Stubby! And I pull her into a big fat hug. Your hair looks like shit, sit down. I start braiding it.

LAURA: I love you too.

LIAM: Elaina would be proud of you. I’m proud of you.

LAURA: That’s worth more.

LIAM: Saved my life again.

LAURA: Did I?

LIAM: I crawled out through an arrow hole.

LAURA: (laughs) I saw this little lump squirming. I thought it was probably you. Tiny little you.

LIAM: There’s a bit of chicken here.

LAURA: Oh, ow!

LIAM: One day at a time, right?

LAURA: One day at a time. Ow!

LIAM: There.

MATT: All right. As you guys spend the next few days together, forming what is a fairly functional stronghold, for at least the necessary needs of protecting a fair amount of refugees beneath the northern area of Westruun, you feel confident that with the folks that are here and the folks that are coming, there’s enough of a community building now where it may not be absolutely necessary for your perpetual oversight and presence, should you have business elsewhere. Anything else you wish to take care of before you continue your journey?

TALIESIN: I have a small package and letter that I want to deliver to Kerr before we leave, but other than that.

SAM: A Kerr package?

TALIESIN: Yes. I was hoping, I was really hoping, someone would say that.

LAURA: I would like to pull Kerr aside and say, you know these people here, they’re a bit lost, and they need a leader.

PATRICK: Yeah, they absolutely do. We’ll see if we can find them one.

LAURA: I’m looking at one that would be wonderful. Just something to think about.

PATRICK: I’ve thought about it. But no. But you’re very kind. You know, over– How long has this been going on?

MATT: You’re going on the better part of two weeks since the initial dragon attack. A little over two weeks, maybe, by now.

PATRICK: One thing that I’ll make a point of doing is, while a lot of this is going on and I’m seeing what they’re really capable of, in terms of reshaping everything, I’ll spend a little bit of time at her shoulder. We’ll talk, maybe a little bit, or not. Depending on what she’s in the mood for. And the general gist of it is, you know, that it takes a long time, doing the stuff like this. You’re making something. And sometimes it doesn’t seem to balance out that scale very well, but that’s all you can do. And sometimes all you can do is be around for people while they make things, because you can’t do everything.

MARISHA: Well, Kerr, I’m certainly glad that you showed up in my life, in this time, when I am building this– whatever the hell this is. Thank you.

TALIESIN: We’ve made you something, if you will accept it. We pull out a small wooden box that we put together.

MARISHA: I put some Ashari decorative stuff around it.

MATT: So the box itself is wooden, but there is fresh, living ivy curled across it with a few bursts of beautiful red flowers on each side.

MARISHA: Totally. What’s the flower of Westruun?

MATT: The flower of Westruun would actually be the white iris, which grows around the western side of it.

MARISHA: Beautiful. It’s covered in white irises.

TALIESIN: You sick fuck. You’re amazing.

LAURA: Oh, the white iris. No big deal. It’s the white iris.

TALIESIN: Talk Westruun to me.

PATRICK: I’ll–

SAM: Spring snakes!

TALIESIN: Too soon! Inside is a scrolled parchment, a wooden bracelet, and a metal circlet.

(water bottle falls off the table loudly)

SAM: Spring snakes!

TALIESIN: Trying to have a moment, thank you.

PATRICK: Have I got the first clue?

MATT: No.

TALIESIN: The parchment will explain everything and how to use them, but this circlet and this bracelet will help make you a champion that can help protect this city now. And should the need arise, this circlet will give you control of the body of a creature that will help.

MARISHA: His name’s Fassbender. And he’s got an awesome mustache. And the bracelet’s kind of just a bracelet, but I made it. It might be a friendship bracelet.

PATRICK: I’ll put that on.

MARISHA: It might say “friendship” in Ashari.

TALIESIN: The circlet will, if anything, if the need ever arises, it will be something that will help protect the city. The scroll will explain the particulars. MARISHA: If you go up by the funeral pyres, where we set the trap, you’ll find him.

TALIESIN: I’ve already moved him.

MARISHA: Percy will tell you where he is.

TALIESIN: It’s in the scroll.

MARISHA: Just read the directions.

MATT: As you read the scroll, glance over it, and you may have seen this entity walking in their vicinity once or twice during the time you met them. It is a 12 foot tall stone golem. It is explained in this that with the use of this circlet, you have control over this creature.

PATRICK: The people of this town are– you know that they’re grateful. The problem is, for some of you, they may not be able to say that in a way that you can hear right now. But know that they are, and know that they will be for a long time. And if I have anything to say about it, it will be a very, very long time. So thank you. Thank you for them, and thank you for me.

MARISHA: I give Kerr a big hug.

PATRICK: Free hug!

TALIESIN: I watch awkwardly.

MATT: You do. As you guys break your hug, you look down.

MARISHA: I’m going to miss you, Kerr.

PATRICK: Well.

MARISHA: No, it’s okay, you don’t have to say it back.

PATRICK: You know where I am. It could be that I will see you before too long. Some of us have more time than others, of course.

MARISHA: I’m sure I will see you at some point later.

MATT: As you step away and turn back to the wall, which is mostly done carving with the names and the story bits you and Percy have been working on during this time, that child has returned, and is still drawing with the chalk, and as you look down at the stick figures, you can see one with antlers, two that are smaller than the others, one that is larger than the rest, burlier, thicker around the chest, one that you can barely see, and one that flies across them all on a broom. And then, at the very end, just finishing, one with funny glasses. The kid stands up and looks at it once and goes, “It’s done!” And then runs off.

TALIESIN: Oh, dear.

LAURA: I just take a little piece of chalk and I add Trinket right on the other side.

MATT: Much better drawn than the rest of them.

LAURA: Almost perfect. Almost perfect.

TALIESIN: I can be right every now and then.

MARISHA: I hate you.

MATT: (laughs) So what’s your next step?

SAM: We have more Vestiges to get. An airship to steal.

TALIESIN: Yes!

MARISHA: No.

TALIESIN: Please?

ASHLEY: Vasselheim?

LIAM: I have to go to Vasselheim.

LAURA: Vasselheim is so far away, and the Feywild is so very close.

MARISHA: I have to go to the water tribe of the Ashari.

TRAVIS: The Feywild is close.

LIAM: I have to go to Vasselheim now, and I will go on my own if I have to.

SAM: Why?

TALIESIN: Oh, that’s why.

MATT: You have many avenues at your disposal. You have to come up with some central choice here. There’s also Whitestone, which you guys haven’t been to in a while yet to check in with anybody. There’s definitely where all the Vestiges are currently held. There is all those locations. So what is your next step in the journey?

MARISHA: Why do you need to go back to Vasselheim? Right now?

LIAM: I’m not done with her.

ASHLEY: I think I know why he needs to go back to Vasselheim.

TRAVIS: Why?

ASHLEY: It’s not my place to say.

LIAM: I have to go now. Whether it’s just me– Pike, I would be grateful if you would go with me.

LAURA: Well, I’m going with you, too.

LIAM: I don’t think that this is somewhere that you can go with me.

LAURA: Vasselheim? I’ve been there.

LIAM: Yes, you can go to Vasselheim, but what I have to do there, I don’t want you to have any part of it. Just this. Just this one thing.

LAURA: Well, then I’ll go to Vasselheim and I’ll wait outside.

LIAM: I need you.

ASHLEY: I take him and I pull him aside. I know that you’ve been avoiding me. And I just have to say, I don’t know who this– I don’t know who or what this Raven Queen is, and I think that’s what scares me the most. But I know if you’re choosing a life of faith or whatever you want this to be, I’m happy for you.

LIAM: I take her by the hand and I pull her further away. Much further away. Did the others tell you what happened in the tomb? In the sunken tomb?

ASHLEY: I’m getting bits and pieces.

LIAM: I have been avoiding you. Percival– There was a trap, and Vex'ahlia– I almost lost Vex'ahlia, and a woman appeared. Not a woman. A god appeared. She appeared, and I did something. I tried to save my sister. I did something stupid. I tried to bargain. I didn’t even fucking want the armor that I’m wearing right now! I didn’t want it. I don’t think I’ve ever told you how much I admire you.

ASHLEY: Vax.

LIAM: I always have. You have a kindness about you that comes with such ease and honesty. You have always carried a light. Her light. I think, you know, I admire everyone in our band of misfit toys, but you most of all, and when you left, we all noticed its absence. All of us. I think I wanted to find it again for myself. Hers. Your benefactor. I felt Her, and I told myself that when you came back, I was going to come to you and I was going to learn from you, and follow you and follow Her. As soon as you came back. And like so many things that I reach for in this life, it slipped through my fingers, and I’ve gone and painted myself into a corner. I can’t anymore. And I think when I saw you, it was just a reminder of what I lost. I’m sorry for avoiding you.

ASHLEY: Don’t be sorry. I understand now. And I don’t think that you’re lost in any way. I think if you felt in some way that this is who you’ve needed to follow, then follow her.

LIAM: Well, the bottom line is I couldn’t walk away if I wanted to, because I know that I would lose my sister. But I don’t want to anymore. We’ve all been close to death, all of us, and now I’m just a little bit closer. It took me a bit, but maybe we’re not meant to be happy. I don’t know.

ASHLEY: I don’t think that’s true.

LIAM: Well, I don’t know. But I know that I can be of use.

ASHLEY: You can be, and you are of use. I’m not the type of person who would ever say that you have to choose and follow who I follow, but I will tell you now that if the Raven Queen fucks with you, or hurts you, or doesn’t change you for the better, then she’s going to have to deal with me, and we’re going to have a problem. But as of right now, I love you, Vax. It is going to be fine, and I am here for you, no matter what, and you can talk to me any time. Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed.

LIAM: I was. I’m doing better.

ASHLEY: Okay. Don’t be ashamed. And turn that frown upside down.

LIAM: It would help if you stayed around.

ASHLEY: I will do my best. Sometimes people call, and sometimes I just have to go to do work.

(laughter)

ASHLEY: But maybe you’ll discover that with the Raven Queen. Maybe she’ll take you to jobs and you just have to go.

SAM: Prime Time.

ASHLEY: But I adore you. Okay?

LIAM: I was all kinds of fucked up a couple of weeks ago.

ASHLEY: Well, you are all kinds of fucked up all the time, and that’s why we love you. We’re all all kinds of fucked up, and that’s why we all are together.

SAM: I walk by, eating chicken and wearing no pants.

ASHLEY: See? And I give him a slap on his bare ass as he walks by. You okay? You will be.

LIAM: Ish.

ASHLEY: Ish. That’s all we can be, is ish. Okay?

LIAM: Okay.

ASHLEY: Okay.

SAM: To the Feywild!

MATT: To where?

SAM: He needs a destination.

MATT: What is your next plan of action?

LIAM: I’m going to Vasselheim.

SAM: God damn it. To Vasselheim!

LAURA: To Vasselheim, then.

TALIESIN: If emo elf is going to Vasselheim, we’re going to Vasselheim.

LIAM: You can go. I can catch up.

TRAVIS: You can’t go by yourself.

SAM: Well, we have the rocks. We could send a rock with him.

LAURA: That’s fucking stupid. I’m going. I wouldn’t let him go to Vasselheim.

TRAVIS: We’re all going to Vasselheim.

TALIESIN: I have things I can do in Vasselheim.

LIAM: It’s the only bastion of standing civilization left.

SAM: Is Feywild on the way?

LAURA: No.

MARISHA: No, it’s in the opposite direction. It’s south of here.

MATT: The Feywild is ever-present, technically. It’s another plane.

SAM: Oh, let’s go on the way. It’s like on the way, practically.

LAURA: No, we know an entrance to the Feywild in the Frostweald.

MATT: There are many doors to the Feywild throughout the world. You just only know one.

SAM: Let’s just let Vax go by himself.

LAURA: No.

TALIESIN: No, there’s actually things that can be done in Vasselheim.

MARISHA: I pull Vax aside.

TRAVIS: Christ.

LIAM: Hey, you had two hours to beat the shit out of a goliath! Sit tight, buddy.

SAM: I pull Kerr aside.

LAURA: I pull Grog aside.

TALIESIN: I walk away.

LIAM: Catch phrase! Catch phrase! Meme! Tweet tweet tweet!

MATT: All right, so. As Keyleth pulls you aside.

MARISHA: Do you want to go alone? Do you want to go by yourself? Because if you want to go by yourself, say something, and we’ll let you go. If you think this is something you need to do by yourself.

LIAM: I’m actually scared shitless, and I would like Pike and you to go with me. I would like my sister not to go anywhere near her. That’s what I would like, and that’s it. You and Pike.

MARISHA: Then say something.

LIAM: I did.

MARISHA: No, you didn’t.

LIAM: Hey, I’d like to go to Vasselheim, Pike. Keyleth, can you open up a hole in a tree? We can go quick. Everyone can go to Vasselheim. There’s just a specific place in Vasselheim that I need to go. And I love you, but I just don’t want you to be a part of it. You either hang out with Grog, or stay outside, okay?

LAURA: Fine.

LIAM: Okay.

SAM: To Vasselheim!

MARISHA: To Vasselheim.

TALIESIN: To outside a building in Vasselheim.

MATT: Indeed.

MARISHA: To a far wooded area where magic is permissible, outside of Vasselheim.

MATT: Divine magic is permissible. The essence of pulling magic beyond the powers. It’s the arcane practitioning that is frowned upon. It’s not illegal. It’s just generally frowned upon.

TALIESIN: It’s rude.

MATT: But yes, as you step back to the surface beyond the subterranean personnel bunker that is now the sewage system of Westruun, you find yourself at a nearby tree. The doorway opens, and you all dart through into the cold, snow-dappled, cobbled streets of Vasselheim. And that’s where we’ll end tonight’s game. Picking up next week, at that moment. Thank you guys so much, that was a great session! Dude, Patrick, thank you so much for joining us!

MARISHA: Patrick, my new best friend!

LAURA: Thanks, Kerr Bear!

PATRICK: Thanks so much for having me. I’ve been a fan for a long time. It was a real treat.

MATT: Dude, our pleasure, man. Thanks for coming.

ASHLEY: As we have been of you.

MARISHA: Kerr Bear Share!

LAURA: And thanks, Loot Crate!

MATT: And thanks Loot Crate, for deciding to sponsor us again! And thank you guys for being so supportive of us having sponsors now! It’s really, really helpful.

TRAVIS: Use the link! Show your Critter power!

MARISHA: It makes us feel like we’re a grown up show now.

TALIESIN: We’re a real Twitch stream!

MARISHA: We’re a real Twitch stream with sponsors!

PATRICK: Is it gauche if I mention a thing that’s going on?

MATT: Yes, please, go for it!

SAM: What are you, a sellout? Come on, man.

PATRICK: There’s a subtle difference between selling and selling out.

MATT: Exactly. You’re fine.

PATRICK: And I’m constantly pushing that border. I run a charity called World Builders, and we raise money to support various charities. We rally the geek community, and right now we’re running our midseason fundraiser. It’s an Indiegogo with a bunch of cool things that geeks might like. We teamed up with Rat Queens. We’re doing a T-shirt for them. If you’re a fan of the Dresden Files, we’ve got a T-shirt based on Harry Dresden and those books. We’ve got a T-shirt based on my books. We’ve got, literally, there’s 40 items there, a bunch of different cool geekery of various sorts. For those of you that have read The Slow Regard of Silent Things, they pulled off a foxen night light. It looks beautiful. I should’ve brought the prototype so I could show it to you. I should’ve brought the prototype, but it turned out so good.

LAURA: I’m going to look it up.

PATRICK: The thing is, it only lasts for four more days. This is just a weeklong fundraiser. You can get coffee, you can get hoodies, you can get a bunch of these things, and all the money goes to charity. If you’re interested, swing on by and take a peek at what we’ve got. If there’s any of my people in the Twitch stream, which I’m guessing there are, you can throw a link up there so other people can see it.

TALIESIN: What’s that web address again?

PATRICK: If you search on worldbuilders.org, that’s our main web page. This fundraiser in particular is happening on Indiegogo.

LAURA: Plus there’s a link in your Twitter account, right?

PATRICK: Yeah, I’ve been talking about it in my Twitter account, and I do occasionally Twitch stream, too, and I throw up the link there as well.

MATT: And what is your Twitter account, just so folks know?

PATRICK: @patrickrothfuss, just all together.

MATT: Perfect. Fantastic. Thank you guys again, a great session tonight, and yeah. I guess we’ll see you guys in a week. Until then, we ask ourselves: Is it Thursday yet? Have a good night, guys!