The Nameless Ones

is the first episode of Exandria Unlimited. Five burgeoning adventurers explore the Upper Slums of Emon and take a job offered by a mysterious thief, but what they discover may be more dangerous than any of them bargained for...

Pre-Show
Aabria and the rest of the cast introduce themselves. Aabria gives all the players inspiration and since they're pre-recorded, throws to Comfy Matt (and Omar) in the future for Announcements.

Announcements

 * First sponsor tonight is The Deck of Many and their second series of animated spell cards. Pre-order and discounted bundles end soon.
 * Second sponsor is Roll and Play: The Game Master's Fantasy Toolkit, the ultimate book of random tables for D&D and other fantasy RPGs. It's available in print or digital at rollandplaypress.com. Use code CRITICALROLE10 for 10% off through July.
 * While Critical Role is now livestreaming on both Twitch and YouTube, the official moderated live chat is on Twitch. VODs for episodes of Exandria Unlimited are available immediately on Twitch and Mondays at noon Pacific Time on YouTube. Podcasts release a week after streaming.
 * A brief How to Play Uk’otoa from Darrington Press video is on YouTube right now. On June 30th at 4 pm Pacific, Matt, Marisha, Laura, and Travis will be playing a few rounds on both Twitch and YouTube. The VOD will be on YouTube July 2nd. Copies of Uk'otoa are available to purchase in all of the CR shops and in local game stores in the US.
 * The Exandria Unlimited t-shirt and journal are available in all of the CR shops. Both were beautifully designed by Grace Berrios.

Part I
In late 842 PD, early in the morning in Tal'Dorei's capital Emon, the adventurers begin waking from partying the night before. Orym of the Air Ashari, a brown-haired tattooed halfling with leaf-themed armor, is out for a walk around the crater in the center of the city and then out to Greyskull Keep, where he catches a not-quite-natural scent of something profoundly green coming on a breeze from the east.

Dorian Storm, wearing blue clothing that matches his sky-blue skin and jet-black hair that fades to white and light blue, is seated playing his lute and leaning against the townhouse where the group spent the night. He reminisces about the group's previous meeting at a massive party, the Everdawn.

Fearne Calloway is also out for a walk with Little Mister, her monkey. Fearne is a hooved faun wearing flowy clothing covered in poisonous flowers, and Little Mister is her wildfire spirit brought into being by Fearne at Thordak's Crater. When Little Mister eats a flowering vine, Fearne is able to use Druidcraft to restore it.

Dariax, a young reddish-haired male dwarf, is just waking up on the roof, looking for his spear which he locates in the gutter below covered in pee. He awkwardly jumps down to get it and carries it inside to wash both himself and the spear.

Opal wakes up, fixes her makeup and iridescent opalized hair, and puts on her pink sateen crop jacket. She wears a pendant with a small opal. Hung over from the night before, she feels a presence like that of her twin sister, Ted.



Break
Merch Alert:

Epilogue
''The rain pours as the weather worsens in Emon. And slowly through the weather, footsteps are heard, and Poska stands in front of her warehouse. She walks in, sees the corpses, the destruction. And then she sees the door at the back of the warehouse open and a box pried open. And at that point, she turns. And into a small sigil tattooed on the inside of her wrist, she speaks three simple words, "Burn it down." And across town in the Upper Slums, the penthouse is set ablaze.''

Player Characters

 * Dariax
 * Dorian Storm
 * Fearne Calloway
 * Little Mister
 * Opal
 * Orym of the Air Ashari

New

 * Poska

Mentioned

 * Lothar Cirrospect

Quotations
Aabria: I don't even know what to do with that. Aimee: She just calls out for anything. Aabria: The kitchen goes to respond, "There's food here!" Dariax: Dariax is over there drying off his spear with the curtains and goes, "Does that actually work?" Opal: Sometimes! Dariax: Whoa! Orym: Depends on who you are. Opal: Yeah. Dariax: Food! Dorian: A soup? "Time's a weird soup"? Is that a saying where you're from? Fearne: Uh-huh. Liam: I mean, that kind of tracks. Ashley: It does. Fearne: It is. We all say it where I'm from. It's kind of a… We just say it all the time when things just don't make sense, "Time is a weird soup." Dorian: Time is a weird soup. Opal: Like a chowder. Fearne: Yes, very chunky. Opal: Chunky. Orym: Chunky time. Dariax: Maybe like a really cool hat? Opal: Yeah. Poska: Information and a very nice hat? Opal: Um, the coat—the coat's nice too. Orym: Do you want…? Opal: Your duster's cute. Poska: You want my jacket? Opal: No, I just want to know where you got it. Poska: Oh, we could start with that, okay. Dariax: Let's start with the hat, we can work our way up. Dorian: Is that another one, like, "Time is a weird soup"? Opal: Yes. Dorian: Okay. Fearne: I've heard of that one, yeah. Dorian: That's a saying where everyone's from. Opal: I say we go for it. Fearne: Yeah, I really don't see a problem with this. Dariax: The more time we discuss this, the more trouble we'll be. And as we know, "Time is a sandwich," so we've gotta get goin'. Opal: Yup. I have heard that. Fearne: (Points and nods in affirmation.) Time is a sandwich.
 * Opal: Food! Food? They're not getting back to me, so.
 * Opal: You know, I can't walk in flats. My arch won't support it.
 * Dorian: Mm-hmm. Sorry, bacon lips.
 * Fearne: Time is a weird soup, you know.
 * Orym: What can you give us? And I'm not interested in money. At all. I'm talking about information. Or… you seem to have a philosophy in life. Give you a chance to prove it to us?
 * Dariax: Your old boy Dariax here might be a well-seasoned criminale.
 * Opal: Crime is really in the eye of the beholder.
 * Orym: I know that you are wrong. I know that there's more in this world. I know that temptation and corruption and imperfection is rampant in this world, but that's not all there is.
 * Dariax: You don't have to be a bad person to do bad things if it's hurtin' other bad people.
 * Orym: I am not becoming a criminal. I am babysitting.
 * Fearne: Well, finders keepers. That's a saying where I'm from. Do you know it?