Transcript:Deadlands One-Shot for MDA Charity

ALISON: All right, we are back! I'm Alison Haislip. You are watching the live stream for Geek & Sundry and Smart Girls for MDA. With me are the people who need no introduction, I think, to anyone in chat, but I'm here with Critical Role.

(cheering)

ALISON: They are going to critically roll very shortly, but first we have to take care of some business. As you know, in our last segment, we hit $30,000. $33,000! LootCrate matched the last thousand, so that got us up to $34,000. I think we are now over $35,000, so thank you, everyone at home.

TRAVIS: That's incredible.

ALISON: But the biggest surprise that I had to tell everyone is that you guys throughout this whole stream have been buying shirts, much like this one, the Critical Role shirt with MDA on the back of it. You guys have raised over $7,000 with the shirts. We are adding that to the ticker right now. And on top of that, Geek & Sundry and Smart Girls have decided to donate to get us up to $50,000.

(cheering)

ALISON: Critical Role, you are starting off the counter at $50,000. We now want to get up to 60 grand before this thing ends. This stream is going until about ten o'clock tonight. Yes, we know that's over 24 hours. It's like a 27-hour livestream. But check in the link. You can still buy t-shirts like this. The link's in chat. You can still buy shirts like this and many other ones. You can find out how to donate there as well. I'm going to stop talking because I know so many people here have been waiting for you guys. Thanks for sticking with me. I am signing off, and I'm leaving you in the capable hands of Critical Role. Donate, donate, donate!

MATT: You guys have been amazing. This is amazing. We'll be playing this for the next three hours. Come hang with us. Let me meet you over at my table.

TRAVIS: He's got to run into the other studio. He's got to take the elevator down to Studio-- oh, hey!

LIAM: How did you get there so fast?

MATT: Magic. Dungeon master magic. Although, however, I'm not a dungeon master today. Today, I am a marshal.

LAURA: (drawling) Well, all right.

MATT: Because we're playing Deadlands Reloaded. For those of you who aren't familiar, Deadlands is one of my favorite settings, called the Weird West. And we're playing Deadlands Reloaded, which brings it over into the Savage Worlds system, which I've had to learn over the past few days. So bear with us. It's going to be a rusty run for a lot of us, learning and picking up things. We'll probably going to get a shit-ton of things wrong, and that's okay, because we're going to have fun while doing it. Anyway. We're playing Deadlands. And to give you guys the idea behind the world that we're playing in, this takes place in the 19th century. Around 1864, an event called the Reckoning transpired. What had happened is, as the people of America began to push further west, pushing a lot of the Native Americans out of their land, and a bunch of terrible things happened to their people and their tribes, a number of disgruntled shamans and members of those tribes came together and essentially did a giant shamanic ritual to tear a hole between this world and this extraplanar world of dark magic, introducing entities called Reckoners that want to pass into this world, and can they only do so by elevating fear into this world. It also introduced magic. It introduced a bunch of really weird, creepy things into the old west, causing the Civil War to run longer than it did in history, as well as a bunch of other ridiculous circumstances. Nevertheless. That is the setting that this game will take place in. Before we get started, I want to go over a few rules for you guys so you know what this charity stream is all about. We have some cool things called fate chips, which I'll get into here in a minute. The fate chips, players and myself can use to alter the circumstances in the game. A black fate chip-- sorry for those of you who know the rules, I didn't have any white chips, but they work the same as white chips-- the black fate chips can be spent by players to re-roll a single trait or skill roll they're attempting to do. It's a one-time reroll. The red chips can be used to instead add a d6 to whatever trait or skill roll they just made, but in using that red chip, I get to pick one to add to my pool over here as the marshal. A blue chip, which is probably the strongest of them all, allows them to add that same d6 to a trait or skill roll, but I don't get to pick a chip out of there. That's pretty cool for them. However, some of my more powerful creatures or individuals in the game may have their own set of fate chips. And if you donate, looking at the list, you can go ahead and provide additional fate chips to the players or me.

TRAVIS: Don't buy him shit.

(laughter)

LAURA: Or do. Donate. Buy him whatever you want.

MATT: Stack the deck however you feel it needs to be stacked. Trust me on this one.

LIAM: Do we start out with one of each? Is that correct?

MATT: You start with three of each. We're going to get to that here in a moment.

LIAM: They're also delicious.

TRAVIS: Don't jump the... (dramatic pause) gun, Liam.

(groans, laughs)

TRAVIS: Man. En fuego.

(donation music)

MATT: So. As it stands, if people want to donate and affect the game, you can donate a hundred bucks to give one of the players a black fate chip. You can donate $150 to donate a red fate chip to a player of your choice, $200 to give a blue fate chip to the player of your choice, or $200 to give me a fate chip of my choice, to use against the players.

LAURA: Why do you get to--

MATT: Because I'm the marshal! I make the rules!

MARISHA: Is there ever going to be a situation where you're like, "You know what, a black chip will suffice. This'll be fine."

MATT: Possibly. Sometimes the rolls can be better than additional ones. We'll see.

LIAM: Matt, I would like to point out that the chat has typed the words "high noon" about 72,000 times in almost five minutes.

MATT: I can only assume so.

LAURA: If you donate $500, Matt will say "high noon" whenever you want. (laughs) I'm sorry.

MATT: What have you done? What have you done, Laura? In our final tier for this donating section of this wonderful drive is if you donate $500 or more, you get to add a single-sentence element to the story currently. And the moment it comes into play, it will be incorporated to and adjust the current moment of the story's narrative, based on your suggestion there. Try and be somewhat respectful with that. We've had some crazy things happen in the past that completely derailed the game and that was fine for our Extra Life game, which was crazy to begin with. This one-- if it's a little crazy, I may tweak it a little bit to fit into the narrative because I have to try and fit it somehow, but I'm going to try to facilitate to the best of my ability everything you guys suggest.

LIAM: Please don't break the universe.

MATT: Yeah. No Deck of Many Things in this, please. That is the tier system we have in here for this. To begin this circumstance--

LAURA: I'm so nervous!

MATT: Well, actually, before we do this, Laura? Let's go ahead and introduce everybody's characters, if you don't mind.

LIAM: They are so layered, and have so much depth.

MARISHA: And we didn't all come up with them last night.

MATT: Marisha, why don't you begin?

MARISHA: Okay. I tell them-- okay, yeah. We never did this in Critical Role. I am Sudis. Sudis Alifehr. I am a gypsy traveling vagabond who is quite good at telling your fortune. Whatever the cost, whatever the price, I can give you a little bit of wisdom that might guide you on your way.

TRAVIS: Oh, snap. Okay. Wait, what was your name again?

MARISHA: Sudis. Sudis Alifehr. I've got lots of braids all through my hair, and probably like in my mid-30s, and I also have a peg leg. Also, by the way? Peg leg.

LIAM: Where do your ancestors hail from?

MARISHA: Romania. But it's also 1875, so who the fuck knows what was going on then--

MATT: She's a mutt. She's an Eastern European mutt. Grew up in the Bronx. It's awkward. Liam! Who are you?

LIAM: Hi. My my name is Reverend Forrest Alton.

MARISHA: Hi, Reverend!

LIAM: I am from upstate New York, near the Canadian border.

(laughter)

LIAM: I don't know what's funny about this. I am a chaplain in the Union army. The troops usually want me around near the medical tent, because I think with my spiritual guidance they find peace and quicker healing, and I've seen some terrible things in the war, and really want the war to end. I don't want mankind to give in to its greater demons. But somehow I've ended up in the Dakotas, and I can't wait to find out how.

MATT: All right. Laura. Who are you playing?

LAURA: Oh, hi there. My name's Juniper Langley, but if you call me that I just might shoot you in the mouth. Everyone knows me calls me Stinky Jules. That on account of the fact that I don't like to bathe. My mother was an escort, but I always preferred shooting men to fucking them, so I decided to pick up a gun and fight my way through life.

LIAM: We're going to be the best of friends.

LAURA: You've got a pretty mouth, Rev.

LIAM: I don't know how to respond to that.

TRAVIS: Oh. I don't even want to go anymore.

(laughter)

MATT: Travis. Who are you playing?

TRAVIS: Yes, my name is Sydney Hopkins Trivelpiece. I have come from afar to chronicle the adventures of the Wild West while you seek your fortune in your misdeeds. I am afraid I'm not well-adapted to this climate, but I am quite interested in your journeys for gold or glory. Reverend, you look quite the outstanding gentleman. I don't drink, but a good, clean glass of water does sound lovely. You smell terrible, and I'm not quite sure how I feel about you, but if you know of anything going on that would make a good story for me, that could really help my career.

LIAM: Question, because I have trouble scrubbing Grog and you out of my mind, are you like a buck twenty?

TRAVIS: I'm very light. I don't eat very much. If I'm in the sun too long, terrible things happen.

(laughter)

MATT: All righty. As a heads-up to all of you guys watching, by the way, if your children are in the room and you don't want them hearing a lot of curse words, there's going to be a lot of swearing during this game. Just a heads-up.

LAURA: Potentially. I could watch my mouth. Sorry about that cussing earlier.

TRAVIS: Taint-sniffer.

MATT: All right, so. Let's go ahead and divvy up some of these fate chips. I need each of you guys to go ahead and pull three at random out of this.

TRAVIS: Just three.

LAURA: Oh wait, so we don't get to choose? All right. I might get all blue.

MATT: Two reds and a black.

LAURA: Where's the bowl?!

MATT: Bowl's here.

LAURA: I don't care! Aw. Two blacks and a red.

LIAM: Guide my hand.

LAURA: Are there not as many blue ones as there are--

MATT: Correct.

LAURA: Oh, well, that makes sense.

MARISHA: What just happened?

LIAM: Oh, one of each! Praise Jesus!

TRAVIS: Yeah, thank the Lord.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Man of God. You're like Russell Crowe in Quick and the Dead, aren't you?

MARISHA: Two reds and one blue.

LIAM: I am the straight man, is what I am.

TRAVIS: You are!

MATT: Now, I'm going to go ahead and pull a few here for myself.

LIAM: Three blues, one two three.

LAURA: Do we get to know what you got? Damn it!

TRAVIS: Really? Show us one.

MATT: Also, as a fun little quick here to start us off, so Laura's character took one of the edges called Veteran of the Weird West. Which gave her some great opportunities, she's a more seasoned character than the rest of them, she's seen more about the world, but in doing so, some strange, interesting circumstance in her background is going to come into play, so I've shuffled these cards, and I want you, Laura, to randomly select one of them, if you don't mind. Take your pick.

LAURA: Where's that deck?!

TRAVIS: Where's that what?

LAURA: That deck. (laughs) Shut up.

TRAVIS: Said it twice, didn't get it.

MATT: Three of hearts, so looking at the table, here.

LAURA: Oh no, what'd I get?

TRAVIS: Each card has a thing?

MARISHA: Do we get to know?

MATT: Sure, because why not? You chose the Hunted card.

LAURA: Oh, shit.

MATT: Something or someone that you didn't finish the job on is currently trying to find you. We'll see how that works out in the long run.

LIAM: Wow.

MATT: (cackles)

MARISHA: I'm just saying that, you didn't need to, I could've told you that. Just saying.

MATT: All right, so.

MARISHA: I know your gun looks cleaner than your face.

LAURA: That's right. I like to take good care of my weapons.

TRAVIS: You're very intimidating.

MATT: This conversation all takes place in a carriage, as the four of you are currently riding to your destination for your different purposes and different reasons, which you may discuss at your own leisure, or not, or make up at your own leisure, or not. The four of you have been traveling for days in this hot, humid, muggy carriage, to your final destination of Deadwood, South Dakota.

LIAM: (singing) Sweet little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine.

MATT: Founded in the Deadwood Gulch at the discovery of gold by an expedition by Custer in 1874, they had to abandon the government's incursion to seize these gold veins when the effects of the Reckoning, and the ensuing quakes, began to swell in the western regions of the United States. But word of the rich veins still found their way to the public ears here and there, and folks seeking quick money and an escape from the mounting chaos of the still-dragging civil war swarmed into the gulch to raise up this lawless city of gold, sin, and vice. Managing to be far enough away from politics, rumors still find their way to this rugged town of strange goings-on in the world, tales of slain Yankee and Southern soldiers rising from the muck post-battle, of shadows moving in the night to steal children. Of mystics, calling spirits to do their bidding. Even so, the people of Deadwood are toughened already by harsh, untrusting reality, and such folk tales have no place in a man's world. The sun has just set as the denizens of Deadwood scatter to the bars to get shitfaced.

(loud bang off-screen)

MATT: Everybody down! All right. That totally distracted me. You all sit, after arriving, exhausted and tired from your journey, within the city of Deadwood, finding yourself at the immediate display of the first place that comes to your eyes, and seeking rest and an escape from the worries of the world, you all step into and relax in the Bella Union Saloon.

MARISHA: Ooh, the Bella Union!

MATT: Already got one?

OFF-SCREEN: Oh, several.

MATT: Oh no.

(laughter)

MATT: It's already started. How do I read the long ones?

LAURA: Oh, jeez.

MATT: Pardon me a second. We've already got some amazing donations, I have to read them all. There we go. "All players start the scenario--" Uh-oh.

LIAM: Oh, we're making rules for us?

MATT: Apparently. You guys spend the evening resting within the Bella Union. After drinks and relaxation, the next morning's sun rises, and you all realize you've all woken within the same bed as the others. Not necessarily recalling what the evening before entailed, but.

LAURA: That was fun.

MARISHA: Get off me.

LIAM: I don't even drink. How did that happen?

TRAVIS: Nothing, nothing.

LAURA: Sydney--

MATT: It's at this time you all realize you've slept in rather late in the day, as it's now apparently-- (McCree voice) It's high noon.

TRAVIS: Son of a bitch! How long would it take?

LIAM: Hey, Marshal? I don't know the rules really at all in this game, but I think I read somewhere that if I sin, I get negatives? So I don't know that I've sinned, but I might have sinned. I don't know.

LAURA: I think you sinned.

MARISHA: Wait, can I do an onus check on him to figure out what we did?

MATT: Hold on, I'm trying to keep up here, guys!

(laughter)

MATT: Mark down you each have a joker card now. That can be used instead of a poker chip.

LAURA: What's a joker card?

LIAM: We've got to establish the rules before we blow them up, folks.

MATT: I know, it's all good, it's all good.

TRAVIS: Somebody throw me a pen back there.

MATT: We'll begin the game here in a moment, once I get through these. You guys-- oh, and I also receive two random joker cards. So I have two jokers. So. Those joker cards can be used in place of a poker chip. We'll say the black on that one.

LAURA: A black poker chip?

MATT: All right, let me reset here and make sure I get to the other ones.

(laughter)

MATT: Oh, and Travis, you go ahead and get a black chip.

TRAVIS: Yes!

LAURA: Oh, damn it!

MATT: All awkwardly waking up at (McCree voice) high noon (normal) you awkwardly gather your things, finding yourself, the music in the distance as the Bella Union is beginning to come to life again. You can hear a piano playing and some laughter, you hear some loud carousing on the other side of your door to the inn, the second floor of which you now currently are awakening.

TRAVIS: I do hate to trouble you. Does anyone see the chamberpot in the room? I am afraid I have a rather-- need.

LAURA: Lean your shit out the window.

TRAVIS: Out the window?

LAURA: Yeah, that's what they do here.

TRAVIS: Right. Okay.

LAURA: I'm going to go get some whisky.

MARISHA: This is a good place to actually make good money off of fortune telling. I'm going to go downstairs.

TRAVIS: Reverend?

LIAM: Yes?

TRAVIS: Do you remember what happened last night?

LIAM: I don't. I remember someone pouring something into my glass, I assumed it was lemonade. I need to take a walk and do a little thinking. See you later?

MATT: As you guys step out at your own individual pace, you pass by a gentleman who's on the second-floor balcony staring down into the main thoroughfare of the Bella Union--

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

MATT: --a dark maroon coat and pants, short, grey-ish hair, an intense dark mustache, and a very, very angular face. He looks angrily down amongst the people. And you can see at the tables, the gambling tables are alight this early in the day, and there appears to be a very intense game of cards going on, and people are gathering around, looking to see what the next stage is going to be during this game. You guys go down to find yourselves a drink?

LAURA: Shit, I want to watch the game.

MATT: Drinks first, or game first?

LAURA: Drink, and then watch the game, because I really want to see the game. Fast, fast. Give me some whiskey.

MATT: All right. You guys each throw a dollar down. You go ahead and get yourself a very fine pouring of some whisky.

TRAVIS: A sarsaparilla for me, if you don't mind.

MATT: The guy at the bar hands the drinks over and goes, "Yeah, you would want a sarsaparilla, wouldn't you? Tell you what. It's on the house."

TRAVIS: That's very kind of you! There is chivalry alive in the west!

LIAM: Could I have a black coffee, please?

MATT: "Black coffee? That can be provided."

MARISHA: Jules, did you spike our drinks last night? Was that you?

LAURA: I don't know what you're talking about.

MARISHA: Never mind.

MATT: You drink your fine, fine alcohol, which enables you to have a black chip.

LAURA: Oh, shit! I can't catch!

MATT: So. As you guys begin to gather around this poker game, you look down and you can see folks are tense and looking over. They're starting to cheer. Some folks are making their own side bets off the circumstance. The visible layer of tobacco smoke is beginning to cloud the upper atmosphere of the Bella Union. It's very palpable at this point. Looking in, you can see four men at a table that are all very intent, and one gentleman who's very well dressed, similar in fashion to you. A very nice light gray suit, a very well-trimmed goatee, balding on top, with very short-cut hair on the sides, and a little pair of spectacles at the end of his nose. He's looking at his cards with a big smile. Everyone starts putting the last of their bets into the center.

LAURA: What's the other guy look like?

MATT: There are two other gentlemen you can see, that both look greasy, like they haven't really slept in a long while, covered in dirt and crud, but they seem to have a large cache of chips at their side. Probably some of the various claim workers out here outside of the town. And you see one of the gentlemen is wearing a top hat, similar to the one that you're wearing, with a fine, long mustache, handlebar out, a portly, older gentleman, looking at his hand. "Oh, hell. I'm going in."

LAURA: He's bluffing. That one's bluffing.

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

MATT: One of them goes "all right!" and pushes in.

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Two of them are in? Two of the three?

MATT: The inspiration of seeing all this energy, you being away, inspires you to go ahead. Have yourself another black chip. You guys watch as suddenly they all throw their cards down. Full house. Pair of queens. Got a bunch of different cards, and all of a sudden it comes to the well-dressed character, who looks a little nervous now, and goes, "Hmm. Straight flush." And everyone goes-- big upset. Loud uproar. You can see now as the guy with the long mustache goes, "Oh, hell." Throws his cards down and gets up from the table angrily and turns around to walk away. The two other gentlemen at the table glance out the side of their eye as one of the guys you see at the edge of this table game, an older, hunched-over gentleman with glasses at the end of his nose and a smearing of black powder across his face goes, "I love poker! It's the most crazy game ever!"

(laughter)

MATT: "Do that?! It makes no sense!" At which point, one of the guys at the table goes, "You're right, it doesn't make sense. This guy's a cheater! We have a goddamn fucking cheater here!"

LAURA: That's right! He's a fucking cheater, I can tell!

TRAVIS: I don't think so. I believe he had what they call the nuts.

MATT: "Thank you very much. That man knows what he's talking about. I'm not cheating! You've seen me play cards in front of you! This has been an amazing game."

LAURA: Look up his sleeves! That one's cheating.

MATT: At which point you can see one of the guys who lost in the game immediately goes for a swinging punch towards the guy holding the-- who won the actual last pot. And with that, whack! Cracks it right across his face.

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

MATT: "All right!" he says as he punches him down. Suddenly a giant brawl begins to emerge in the center of this room. You can see people throwing hooks left and right. The guy who currently won the game is trying to grab the chips he has off to the side as you can see the two guys at the front of the guard of the Bella Union rushing in and trying to hold folks down.

MARISHA: While the brawl breaks out, Sudis starts trying to palm a few coins.

LAURA: I jump in the fight.

MARISHA: Oh, no! Oh, no, don't hurt me! Grabbing all the coins I can. I'm innocent, oh!

LAURA: Yeah, I punched him.

MATT: Seeing this chaos...

LAURA: Oh, shit!

MATT: That was a good catch. Meant to be. All this is breaking down. You can see punches going left and right. People falling down. The guy who had his chips in his arm gets socked again and lobs them into the table. Folks start scrambling for them.

MARISHA: Oh, no! Let me help you pick up your chips!

MATT: Go ahead and make an agility trait check, if you don't mind.

MARISHA: Okay, so I roll a d6. I roll 2d6, is that what I do? And take the higher? I rolled five both times.

MATT: Five both times? All right. You manage to pocket what would be about $200 worth of poker chips from the ground. You start getting in the fray there. All right, Stinky Jules. Who are you going for? You can see a bunch of different people.

LAURA: I'm going for the one that was cheating!

MATT: The one that was cheating? All right.

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

MATT: All right! (laughs) This black chip goes to the new thief. That's the chip you find.

LAURA: Whoa, she got two of them?

MATT: That one is off the table. All right, so the guy's: "Please, I'm just trying-- I won it fair and square!" Go ahead and make a fighting roll.

LAURA: Okay. What is that?

MATT: Whatever your fighting dice is, plus-- Your fighting skill. Roll 2d6 and take the higher of the two.

LAURA: Oh, shit. Two. Fuck.

MATT: Two? You swing towards him and he dodges out of the way. "Oh, dear!" Grabs what he can of the poker chips and darts out of the saloon.

MARISHA: Can I try and trip him?

MATT: Sure! As you're grabbing things?

MARISHA: I want to reach out and grab his leg, see if I can trip him while I'm picking up--

MATT: Go ahead and make a strength check.

MARISHA: Four. Four again. I don't know! Doubles, doubles.

MATT: A four? You reach out and you grab towards his leg, and he trips over as you yank out the ankle from underneath him. He goes spilling. All the chips go scattering onto the front of the Bella Union. And you can see, while the guards are currently inside dealing with this fight that's broken out, there's nobody outside to guard it. A couple people on the street look over and, "Is he all right? Sir, are you all right?" They start coming towards him to his aid. He turns around and looks at you and goes, "Why would you do that?"

MARISHA: Well-- ow! You stepped on my finger! Ow!

TRAVIS: I would like to rush over to him and offer him asylum in our room. Sir, you are impeccably dressed. Please, follow me to my room upstairs. Quickly!

MATT: "Thank you. Help me gather these things, please, before they take my hard-earned winnings!" You guys begin gathering up into the hats, getting all the poker chips into the various hats. The guys who were now brawling have been calmed down at this point. You can see now the guards have their pistols out. One of them fires twice into the ceiling of the Bella Union, sending dust and little bits of plaster debris to fall. All the fight ends as one of the guys is now shouting, "Everyone! Calm your shit. And you're all kicked out for now while we assess what the hell just went down." You see the man who was looking over the top of the balcony now has risen up over the edge and goes, "Thank you, my good man. All of you, understand we only want civilized folks here at the Bella Union. The man won fair and square. Give him his earnings. And if I see any of you try and throw a punch in here again, you're banned from gambling in my establishment."

MARISHA: What is 'civilized'?

TRAVIS: It means orderly. The opposite of chaos.

MATT: As you begin walking upstairs, both of you carrying your hats and his nose in the air a bit, walking with you, giving you a smile, and, "Thanks, brother. I appreciate the assist."

TRAVIS: Not to worry.

MATT: As you pop upstairs, you, keeping watch, feel a strange sensation touching your left shoulder. You glance over and see a wild monkey. A small monkey that curls up next to you.

(chittering)

MARISHA: Can I do a notice check to see if it's a real monkey or where the fuck the monkey came from?

MATT: Go ahead and make a notice check, yes.

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

MARISHA: All right, I will!

LAURA: Whose shoulder is it on? Is it on his or on hers?

MATT: It's her shoulder. All right. It is indeed a real monkey. It is a straight-up real monkey.

MARISHA: Wait. If I roll a six, do I roll again? On all checks?

MATT: On all checks. If you roll a maximum of the die, you roll again and you add it to.

MARISHA: Nine.

MATT: There's your black chip, by the way. Oh, man. You guys are going to be fine in combat when we get to that. So. You at this point look over and see the monkey. This is a live monkey, and as you look in, it reaches in and grabs the edge of your earlobe and whispers into your ear, "Do not worry. I've got your back."

MARISHA: (yelps)

(laughter)

MATT: You guys look over. There's no monkey.

MARISHA: I take him and I try and spike him on the ground.

LAURA: Hey, Sue? What's your problem?

LIAM: You've had enough. Let's put this aside.

MARISHA: Is he still there?

MATT: As you throw the monkey to the ground, he goes-- (angry noise) Climbs back up onto your shoulder and says, "Why would you do that to me? I'm here to guide you!"

LAURA: I think that shit I gave her last night is fucking her up.

MARISHA: Monkey. You see?

LAURA: That's a shoulder, hon.

LIAM: You want to maybe get some fresh air?

MARISHA: I pet the monkey a bit.

TRAVIS: Oh dear. I'm afraid she's lost her beans.

MATT: As you're walking, you pass by the guy who had the nice top hat and the mustache who's sitting there, and he has an apron on and he looks like, sleeves rolled up, a working fellow in the camp in his later forties, and you hear him mutter to himself, as I get a red chip, "That fella damn well cleared out the Gem last week and looks like he's taking this place for all it's worth. Last time I go gambling in a while."

LAURA: So he was cheating. We weren't just saying that so we could punch him?

MATT: "I'm only assuming he's cheating. He came into this town no more than a couple weeks back, and damn well took all the Gem was worth before coming here a week later."

LAURA: Was he wearing all them fancy clothes when he got to town?

MATT: "He was."

TRAVIS: Sir, do you happen to know his name?

MATT: You're walking up the stairs away from this. You're actually helping this gentleman up to put stuff in the room. He goes, "I don't know his full name, rightly so, but from what I've heard, he refers to himself as Simon. Yeah."

LAURA: Sounds like a shit.

MATT: "Doesn't he? Sounds like a northern chap. I've got to go, well, see what else I can sell to make up for this debt from today. Excuse me." Turns around and says, "By the way, if any of you guys want to come by my place, we also have poker there. Not quite as upper-class as this, but we have fine drinks, cheaper than you'd find at this place."

LAURA: Where's your place?

MATT: "Oh, it's down past the main thoroughfare to the left. It's by the alley side there." And he adjusts his hat.

LAURA: You got a picture on the outside of that place there? What's it look like?

MATT: "The Number Ten Saloon is what you're looking for. Nice fine sign, yes. Recommend it. "Any time." And he turns around and starts to leave.

LIAM: You seem troubled. Are you carrying a heavy load?

MARISHA: No, he's not very heavy at all, actually. He's only like five pounds or so. (sighs)

LIAM: I've seen many soldiers shell-shocked in war--

MARISHA: I wander off and I start speaking off in my own language towards the sky.

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

MARISHA: All right.

(laughter)

LIAM: I give her her space. I'm a little nervous.

MARISHA: What do I call you?

MATT: "Call me Manatou."

MARISHA: Manatou. Okay. Okay, Manatou. All right.

MATT: Curls back up into your hair and seemingly becomes weightless for a moment.

LIAM: Into her hair?

MATT: You don't sense him there. It's like he vanished.

LIAM: He was behind your ear the whole time.

(laughter)

MATT: Stacking the deck over here for me, guys.

LAURA: Oh, shit, really?

LIAM: You fuckers.

LAURA: Why, why? Be nice to him so he'll help us.

MATT: You make your way up to the room and the gentleman goes, "I greatly appreciate this. Thank you so much for your aid. If I could have my chips, please."

TRAVIS: Oh, yes, of course. Hold out your hat and I'll transfer them. That looks about it. There you go.

MATT: He's going to go ahead and look keenly into your hat. I'm going to use a chip for that.

TRAVIS: Do I roll something?

MATT: Yeah, go ahead and roll-- do you have a stealth skill? I think you roll a straight agility check. Just go agility. See how quickly you can maneuver this.

LIAM: He does have a copy of "You're Never Weird On The Internet".

TRAVIS: That's a six, and a two, so eight.

MATT: Okay.

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

LAURA: All right, he got all his--

MATT: "I greatly appreciate your help. Everything appears to be good here. And what is your name?"

TRAVIS: Oh, I am Sydney Hopkins Trivelpiece, at your service. Lovely meeting you.

MATT: Shakes your hand. It's a limp shake.

TRAVIS: You seem to be very good at this game.

MATT: "Well, I'm also new here. I can see by your appearance that you also are new. Your clothes are far too clean to have been here."

TRAVIS: Yes, it's very difficult in this climate.

MATT: "Yes, it's dusty, even for winter out here. Yes, well, Simon Tyrell."

TRAVIS: Simon. Absolute pleasure. Sir, how did you get to be so good at that game? What is it you do here?

MATT: "Here, I'm finding my way. I'm a retired business manager from Boston, but I came a long way at the behest of my cousin and I heard that there was quite a booming gold trade in this city, so I came to, after building my luck up and getting a small cache of money, realizing that I had a knack at this game called poker, and apparently poker here can be very high-stakes, and, well, so far so good."

TRAVIS: Wonderful, you seem to be quite successful at-- poker, you say? Goodness. If I may say, if you find anyone having particular luck in that gold boom, would you mind sending word my way? I write to a very famous publication. I could put you among the stars.

MATT: "Happily, happily. Good to hear from that. We shall be in touch. Where are you-- are you staying here in this--"

TRAVIS: Yes, this room, with a few traveling compatriots of mine. Watch out for some. Others are smelly. Some are trustworthy and others are quite strange.

MATT: "Right. Okay. I appreciate that. We'll be in touch." And he goes to put his hat on. (chuckles) "Close." Leaves the room, closes the door behind him. You have got $60 worth of chips that you managed to pull out of that, and a red chip to Laura.

LAURA: Yes! (growls) Thanks, friends.

MATT: So. You guys regather yourselves. You've had a bit of chaos in your--

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

LAURA: All right! This is a good day.

MARISHA: We're going to go places, Manatou, me and you, bud. Me and you.

TRAVIS: I come down as well after he leaves.

LIAM: I've been making my way through the bar and I'm sure there's some bloodied eyes and some teeth knocked out, so I'll administer what limited first aid I know.

MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make a medicine check. Healing, this would be healing.

LIAM: Okay. Okay.

MATT: d8 and a d6, take the higher of the two.

LIAM: Okay, now. Two fives!

MATT: The first guy you walk up to is one of the guys in the bar fight. You can see his eye's fairly swollen, looks like he has a cut lip and one of his arms is-- he's massaging a heavy, swollen bruise on the side. As you approach him, he's sitting at a table. What do you do?

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

LIAM: I say, all right. I have some bandages here. No sudden movements, I just want to help you out. Trouble leads to trouble, friend.

MATT: "Look, I don't mean any disrespect, here, I'm just weird with medical stuff. I prefer to be holistic. Heal on my own."

LAURA: I'm with you, son.

MATT: "That's right."

LIAM: Well, it's funny. If you want to forego the physical, I do have a little know-how with the spiritual. Would you prefer we take it in that direction?

MATT: "That's even stranger. I'm not going to lie--" And he leans in to you and goes, "Sorry, I noticed you carousing with that there foreigner, and I saw her speaking to the spirits and mumbling to herself, and--" You don't actually hear, you're just out of earshot of this, unless you want to make a notice check to overhear. Make a notice check, actually.

MARISHA: Sure, yeah, notice check.

MATT: Black chip for Laura. They're loading you up.

LAURA: Oh shit, I can't catch for shit.

MARISHA: Nine.

MATT: You overhear this even from a distance with your keen ears. He says, "I have friends that come from eastern Europe, distant family member, we'll say. There's something about her accent that's wrong."

MARISHA: That's probably true. That's accurate.

LIAM: I'm no man or woman's judge. I don't know her. I'm happy to help you. You seem like you need succor and aid, and I will give that to you. I wouldn't be too quick to judge her.

MARISHA: Can I size him up from a distance? Get a bead on him?

MATT: Make another notice check, and you, make a persuasion check.

LIAM: That's-- the fuck is that?

MARISHA: Five.

LAURA: Hey, Rev! I could use some succor and aid.

LIAM: Six.

MATT: Okay, he goes, "All right. Go ahead and see what you can tend to." As you start tending to him, he starts whispering to you to the side. You try and size him up. He looks like a brutish guy who probably works in the mine quite a lot and has made a lot of gold on the side that he probably lost a bulk of in recent days. He's very noticeably frustrated by the circumstance.

LIAM: Rub my hands together and lay them on the arm and say, "Our Father, who art in heaven--"

MATT: "Oh, this religion shit."

LIAM: And however this game works, because I don't know, I would like to heal him using--

MATT: Okay, make a faith check.

LIAM: Faith check, yeah.

MATT: You add a d12.

LIAM: Oh my god, I never use 12s when we play D&D. I think it's not that one. It's this big round one, yeah. I'd like to use a chip. This is a trait check, right?

MATT: Yeah, if you'd like to use a black chip. Go ahead, toss it to me. Thank you.

LIAM: What do I roll? Both again?

MATT: Just reroll the 12, yeah.

LIAM: Ten.

MATT: Okay. That's with a raise, too. As you touch your hands, "I understand... What the fuck is going on?" You can see as this light envelops him. People in the room glance over with a strange look in their eyes.

LIAM: I know. I questioned it at first as well. But the Lord provides.

MATT: You see tears well up in his face. He's like, "I believe--"

LIAM: You can give in and no man will judge you.

MATT: "I'm sorry. It's just really scary these days. There's a lot going on. I've got to get out of here. I don't want them to see me cry." And he stands up and stomps out of the Bella Union.

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

LIAM: Be with God, all right?

(laughter)

LIAM: Thus spaketh the Lord.

MARISHA: Can I sit down in the corner and pull out my tarot cards? Kind of shuffle them.

MATT: Sure. You--

MARISHA: Fortunes! Come and get your fortunes told.

MATT: Make a general persuasion check for the room if you could. You find your way back down. The gentleman you guys saw who went upstairs, at this point, has now exited from the upstairs room, down the stairs. He gives a smile to the room and then leaves out the front of the Bella Union as well. You follow suit, only but a few paces behind.

MARISHA: Four.

MATT: You see at the far end of the room, a--

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

MATT: --rough-looking gentlemen that goes, "All right! I got-- I'll go ahead and get myself a--"

(laughter)

LAURA: I just like the challenge of it.

MATT: Blue chip to everybody but me.

(cheering)

MARISHA: We love you, whoever you are. Oh jeez.

LAURA: Someday.

TRAVIS: You beautiful people.

MATT: The man walks over and says, "I don't really believe in all this mumbo jumbo, but you look like a nice enough lady. Here." He passes you a dollar. It's one little crinkled-up piece of paper.

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

MARISHA: All right. Can I do a notice check on him? Can I get a profile on him?

MATT: Travis.

TRAVIS: Yes. (chip dropping on floor) Shit.

MATT: Blue. (laughter) It's going to be rerolls forever.

MARISHA: Three. Not good at all.

MATT: You take your time putting the cards out in front, and eventually you see his eyes start wandering. He starts looking around. Loses attention. He goes, "You know what? Keep the dollar. I learned my lesson." He stands up and walks away.

LAURA: Wait, wait, wait!

MARISHA: It's fine. I made the dollar.

LAURA: You make money off of cards, and it's not gambling?

MARISHA: How else am I supposed to make a living? Yeah.

MATT: It's at this point, as you guys are talking about this, a gentleman who's been standing in the far back with a long-brimmed, dark hat, a very well-kept mustache and goatee, a long, dark coat that ends about waist-height, walks over. You hear the jangling of his spurs as he approaches.

MARISHA: I mean, these cards. They're still gambling, really. Cards are cards.

LAURA: Shh. It's a fancy guy.

MATT: "Good day, ma'am. I don't mean the bother you much, but I couldn't help but notice you have a mind for the mystic."

MARISHA: Of course, I do. I can't help but notice that you have a mind for darkness, it seems.

LAURA: If you want her to read your fortune, I can do that too. I'm real good at it! I charge less than she does, but I do it even better!

MARISHA: We're friends. We're not competing. Very well. Please, sit down.

MATT: "Let me introduce myself."

LAURA: All right, sure.

MATT: "My name is Sheriff Bullock.

LAURA: Sheriff?

MARISHA: Ooh. I'm so excited.

MATT: "There's been some strange things going on in the town here and not a lot of people are willing to offer help. The one priest we had that was doing the best in this town has been ailing recently. I figure, maybe we can find folks with other specializations."

TRAVIS: That's you.

LIAM: What is his name?

MATT: "What, the ailing fellow?"

LIAM: Yes.

MATT: "Well, you think you can be of aid to him?"

LIAM: I definitely think I could provide aid to him.

MATT: "All right."

LIAM: Is he poorly?

MATT: "He's been poorly for some time. A madness is taking to him. You know, his eyes are starting to wander--"

TRAVIS: Madness!

MARISHA: What kind of madness do you speak of?

MATT: "Dementia. But that's not why I came here, though. But we'll talk. All right, let me say that there's been a series of mysterious deaths at the time."

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

MATT: "Excuse me, sir. We're talking."

(laughter)

MATT: Nearby table, guy who seems to have won kind of shrinks down. "Sorry."

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

MATT: "Thank you. I appreciate your understanding."

LIAM: Not that sorry.

(laughter)

MATT: "But once every few weeks, we found bodies turn up in the outskirts of town. Three folk, normal denizens here of Deadwood torn asunder, ripped to shreds by some sort of creature. The docs had a few looks and sees no more than I do about the logistics of it, but yeah, one of my-- my wife who had just come to town with my son was one of these victims."

LIAM: Are we talking about an animal here, Sheriff?

MATT: "Well, you'd have to talk to doc to get the real report, but I say it's an animal. Many folks here think it's some sort of a bear."

LAURA: So what you're need is some kind of, like, guns or something for hire?

MATT: "Maybe."

LAURA: All right.

TRAVIS: Your wife or your son was a victim?

MATT: "My wife."

TRAVIS: I'm so sorry to hear that.

MATT: "I'm watching my son, still. It happens. Terribly. But that's something I've got to deal with, not you. Anyway, (sighs) if you could be of some help, maybe look around, see if your mystic knowledge could make out something we couldn't."

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

MATT: "Sir, if you don't, I will take you down to jail."

LIAM: It's really getting to be a little rude. Really.

MARISHA: It's very loud in here. You are looking for mystic properties. Are you looking for a peek into your future, perhaps?

MATT: "No, I don't necessarily believe in that stuff. It kind of worries me, honestly."

MARISHA: You don't have to believe. That's what I always say.

MATT: There is a loud, calamitous crash sound as the door that was partially closed at this point smashes in front of you. Wood splinters go streaming outward and you see what appears to be a small fluff, a spherical bear form, roll in and stop. Bright-eyed. A little bear cub. "Hold it! Kill it!" You see the guards start pulling their guns out and start aiming it down at the bear cub.

MARISHA: No!

LIAM: Wait. It's a baby! Wait! We'll return it to the wild.

MATT: The Sheriff who's had his hand on the side of his holster goes, "This is a wild animal."

LAURA: Is this that damn creature that's been tearing people up?

MARISHA: This is not the creature. It's too small!

LIAM: It doesn't look like it can tear up a sack of flour!

TRAVIS: It's a bit small...

LAURA: Maybe its mama is looking for him, tearing people up to get to him. That's my--

LIAM: I'm going to crouch down and hold my hands out.

LAURA: --investigational deduction.

MATT: You can go ahead and make a smarts check.

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

(laughter)

LAURA: That's right.

LIAM: Is that for her?

MATT: For you.

LIAM: For me.

LAURA: I got a three there.

MATT: Do you want to reroll?

LAURA: Smarts. No.

(laughter)

MATT: This is a small bear. That's about as far as you can get on that one.

LAURA: Hmm, it's a small bear.

MATT: You go ahead and reach down for the bear. The bear comes forward and sniffs you.

LIAM: Come here, nugget.

MATT: A small voice at the side of your ear goes, "Your destination is elsewhere, Reverend." You turn around; there's nothing there.

TRAVIS: Second thoughts?

MATT: Kind of rub your ear.

MARISHA: What's wrong? This thing-- I don't know, you frightened? Please.

MATT: The bear-- for you, Laura.

LAURA: (gasps) I caught it!

MATT: The bear sees you and goes, (bear cub sounds) and passes around you and goes straight over towards Stinky Jules and just starts rubbing on your knee.

LAURA: Oh shit. What the fuck is this thing doing?!

MARISHA: He likes you! Oh, you've made a friend!

LAURA: All right, all right.

MATT: It starts licking your hand, you're like ugh. Bears.

LAURA: I guess I pet it. I mean, if it wants to be with me, I ain't going to stop it, you know, but--

LIAM: But bears?

LAURA: I can't give you anything but scraps, so you better get used to that.

TRAVIS: That's quite the responsibility, I hope you know.

LAURA: You and me, kid.

MATT: A voice creeps in once again into your ear, Reverend, but it's softer. It goes, "You're on the right path. Follow the leads. It will lead you to your salvation."

LIAM: Follow the leads?

MATT: "Follow the leads." And you reach over again. There's no source of the voice. You've been a man of faith for a long time, but nothing's ever spoken to you before.

MARISHA: Do I notice if this is similar to my talking monkey?

MATT: No, he's just looks like he's trying to feel his ear.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: So.

LAURA: Do I get to keep the bear, though?

MATT: I don't know. How good are you with an animal? The Sheriff goes, "I mean, respectfully, there's a lot of weird shit going down in this town right now. And a lot of it has happened in the past five minutes since I walked in to talk to you."

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

MATT: "Sir! I warned you!" And the Sheriff goes over and grabs the guy at the side table who's been far too excited and screaming outward. He says, "Sheriff, what are you doing?" He's like, "I'm taking you down to go ahead and clean up you-- I can smell the alcohol on your breath!" And he drags him out and you see as Sheriff Bullock drags this poor card player out into the street past you guys.

TRAVIS: Sheriff Bullock! Was there a particular area that these attacks were taking place?

MATT: "Go talk to the doc! He's your best bet."

TRAVIS: The doc, yes.

MATT: He drags him out.

TRAVIS: Perhaps we should go find this doc?

MARISHA: All right.

LIAM: Sheriff, can you point me towards your reverend, your ailing reverend? What's his name again?

MATT: Trying to look it up right now, actually. I didn't have his name written down. We're going to find it real fast here, thanks to IMDB.

LAURA: (gasps) Oh, he's a real guy!

MATT: "That'd be Reverend H. W. Smith. And the doc's taking care of him right now, so that'd be your best bet."

LIAM: Oh, one-stop shopping, everybody.

MATT: "Indeed. I'm going to take this guy--" And the guy's still fighting him on the ground, going, "Sheriff, put me down! Put me down!" We hit 60k, guys!

(cheering)

LAURA: Already? What the?

MARISHA and LAURA: All right!

MATT: Let me go ahead and say as part of that, just to kind of pause here while you guys are deciding your next path, we're going to go ahead and put up-- we're going to have the community decide on an NPC name that's going to find its way into a future game of Critical Role.

TRAVIS: (gasps) Shut the fuck up. Are you serious?

MATT: So we're going to go with that one. If we manage to hit 65k before this game's done, we'll also have a boss creature of some kind that I'll design with you guys in the near future as well.

LIAM: Abjurist Pissbucket Shitwalla.

LAURA: (laughs)

MARISHA: Shitwalla?

TRAVIS: We're going to need help!

MATT: So let's get keep that in mind. All right, so Bullock drags the guy off in the distance. You all leave the Bella Union. Now it's mid-afternoon. It's hot, even though it's winter time--

LAURA: It feels so good out here!

TRAVIS: Could we find our way quickly, please?

MATT: --you have carts going by, the ground is muddy itself from a recent rainfall. What do you guys want to do?

TRAVIS: Is there any horse shit on the ground?

MATT: There's plenty of horse shit.

TRAVIS: I really would care to stay out of it.

LAURA: But before I go, I want to get some whisky in a to-go cup.

MATT: Fair enough. You go ahead and get yourself some whisky and your canteen--

LAURA: That's my jug. That's right.

TRAVIS: A red Dixie cup.

LIAM: Is that a native word? Togo?

LAURA: That's right. And I go find the doc.

MATT: Okay. Do you want to make a street smarts roll? Go for it.

LAURA: Oh shit.

LIAM: The Sheriff pointed us there, didn't he?

MARISHA: To the doc?

MATT: He said where the doc was and he was going to point and he ended up--

TRAVIS: Is it street wise or smarts?

MATT: Street smarts. Sorry.

LAURA: What if we don't have that ability?

TRAVIS: I got it!

LAURA: You have street ones?

TRAVIS: I'm a journalist!

LAURA: Oh, that's true. Reroll that shit! We need to find the doc!

TRAVIS: Okay, I'd like to reroll with a black.

MATT: Go for it.

TRAVIS: That's better. Four!

MATT: Four, okay! It takes you about an hour or so asking around, but you do manage to lead the group to the doc's place. As you come up to it, it's a really, really simple-looking hovel that's jammed against a stable, but everyone seems to point to say where's the doc, and on the outside you do see what appears to be a wooden carving of the classic medical symbol over the doorway.

TRAVIS: Yeah, Sydney Hopkins Trivelpiece here. I was just curious if the the doctor was within? (nervous laugh)

MATT: You knock on the door?

TRAVIS: Yes.

MATT: A moment passes. All of a sudden, the door opens and you see an eye peeking through a pair of old, dirty glasses, big grey hair and a greyish moustache goes, "Who the hell's coming to my door?"

TRAVIS: This one. She was quite rude.

LAURA: Hey there.

MATT: "I'm awfully busy, all right? We got something I'm working on--"

LAURA: I know. People getting hit, getting attacked right? Shit like that?

MATT: "Yeah, I can't take any more patients for now. All I have is work!"

LAURA: We don't got no patients for you. Shit. Pay attention!

MARISHA: We were sent here by the sheriff. He told us to find you.

LIAM: You have a man of the cloth here as well and I've come to help. In ways that you are not accustomed to.

MATT: "Well, help is always welcome. Come on in, come on in." He opens the door. You guys come inside, and there is a terrible smell. A terrible smell-- to you, Liam, right there.

LAURA: I don't smell anything.

MATT: Yeah, you're used to the scent. You come inside and a smell of decay and death permeates the entire place.

LIAM: That's worse than you.

MATT: You can see, across the way, there are two tables with two current injured individuals, one of which seems to be a man who is wrapped up and missing an arm and has been wrapped up, and he's just rolling around in a feverish state. You also see a man dressed in long, black robes who is humming to himself as he's writhing in place. One arm is curled up across his torso. To the other side of the room, as you violently vomit into your hat, you see what appear to be a number of tables that have piles of viscera.

LAURA: Piles of viscera.

MATT: Of what look to be once-human bodies that are bloodied and flies are gathering.

LAURA: Gross. That's foul.

MATT: The doctor turns around, now. You can see him, sweaty, his long, crimped grey hair there. "All right. You said you're here to help."

LIAM: Who's who here, doc?

MATT: "This here's Gerald." He points to the guy who's having a fever and says, "Had to amputate his arm, 'cause the damn fucking fool got it torn off in an accident with some machinery."

LAURA: I go over and give him some whisky. The feverish fella.

MATT: Okay. He's partially asleep, and as you pull out the whisky, he goes, "What-- what--"

LAURA: Have some whisky. Make you feel better.

MATT: "Okay." Puts up his arm and grabs the whisky. It spills out a little bit. He's like,

(gulping).

LAURA: All right, that's enough!

MATT: "Thank you."

LIAM: Doc, is this one worse off?

MATT: "He'll be fine, he's just making his way through the fevers. I gave him some sedatives. He should be okay. More worried about the Reverend. Reverend Smith over there appears to have some sort of a brain tumor pushing on him. There's not much we can do about that right now, unfortunately."

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

MATT: The guy who's now drunk goes, "All right!"

(laughter)

MATT: "That's some good whisky. Thank you." Passes out at the table.

LIAM: Let me see him. At the very least, I can offer him the word of the Lord.

MATT: You walk over to the Reverend. The Reverend's sitting there, muttering to himself, singing low under his breath. Chip of my choice.

TRAVIS: Oh, snap.

LIAM: Pick the shitty one. I place a hand on his head with the thumb right here, right at the temple. Reverend Smith.

MATT: "Yes, do you speak? The Lord, I can see the light. The Lord has brought you to me. That's correct."

LIAM: It's not your time.

MATT: "When it's our time, it's time to go."

MARISHA: Yeah, I don't know. It might be his time. Just saying.

LIAM: Give me a minute.

MATT: "I appreciate your solace. You're a kind soul, I can see. Thank you." And you can see one eye's wandering off to the side, and the other eye's just staring out before him. He feels your presence, but he's in a rough place.

LIAM: I pray to the Lord. I will heal this man. Miracle.

MATT: You spend two more power points.

LIAM: Okay, how many do I have, total?

MATT: Total is ten.

LIAM: Ten. So I've used four. Oh, I've used four already?

MATT: You gained one back. You have three uses.

LIAM: I still have to--

MARISHA: Yeah, you can't take it back now, you'd be that dick.

LIAM: No, because my hindrance is heroic. So I can't divvy out. Yeah, I've got to, right now.

MATT: You gain one back as an hour has passed. You gain one back every hour.

LIAM: So I have seven total, and I'm going now.

MATT: Go ahead and roll your faith check.

LAURA: While he's doing that, can I poke around them piles of bodies and see--

TRAVIS: Why would you do that?

LIAM: Ten.

MATT: Go ahead and make an investigation check. A ten? Okay.

LAURA: Is that, like, notice?

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

LAURA: Does it take guts to look?

TRAVIS: You can do it, but you've got to roll a minus two to it.

LAURA: Oh, what do I roll?

MATT: Roll a d4 minus two. And a d6.

LAURA: Like a d6. I get to roll again, 'cause it's six?

MATT: Roll again.

LAURA: Oh, 11, there. While I'm poking through them bodies.

MATT: 11 minus two, so it's a nine. All right, so we'll get to you in just a moment. You feel-- this man is seriously ailing, and for a miracle that can heal wounds, this is going to take some serious faith to try and push this through. Even with what you have. You don't know if this is even within your skill set.

LIAM: So Liam is asking-- am I throwing dice? Yes, I'm going to pray harder.

MATT: Okay, what are you going to do? Use some of these chips, you have a lot of them!

LIAM: Wait, so I could use a chip to go higher than I already did?

MATT: You can use a red chip to add a d6.

LIAM: Oh, add a d6. Well, now I can see that I don't understand the rules, can I use this now to add a d6?

TRAVIS: I'm hurting. I'm hurting, y'all.

LIAM: One. Can I use another red chip?

MATT: No, you get the one.

LIAM: One. Just a one. So that gets it to 11.

MATT: 11?

LIAM: All right!

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

LIAM: See? Come on.

MATT: The guy who's in a feverish state is half-asleep and just--

(laughter)

MATT: And fine laudanum that the doc gave him to calm him down, so he's going to be yell-shouting "All right!" for a while here. So. As you go ahead and complete this miracle with the faith best you can beyond that, I'll let you use another chip if you want to add the number to it.

LIAM: I have to. Come back to me, Reverend, come back to me.

MATT: Use another red chip to add another d6.

LIAM: All right! All right!

MATT: All right. So what's it now? 13? I'll let you do this for the sake of this. So, as you push through with the double-raise to your faith check on this, you see as this bright, vibrant light suddenly fills the room from one sunbeam coming through the singular glass window striking you in the shoulder and enveloping the entirety of Reverend Smith. All of a sudden, you in the distance, as you're inspecting the corpses, you can't help but glance over your shoulder, and you watch as this ray of light envelops his body. As it does, he lifts gently off the table two, three inches, and the doc goes, "What the fuck have you brought into my place?" And he inspects, and as you see the Reverend slowly turns over in place, his eye corrects itself, a smile comes across him of serene joy, and he's lowered down onto the table. The light subsides, you take your hand away, and he sits up in place, goes, "My lord. My mind-- my thoughts are mine again."

LIAM: Welcome back, Reverend. The Lord will abide.

MATT: "The Lord is stronger in you than anyone I've ever met."

LIAM: Please, don't thank me.

MATT: He starts crying and gives you a big hug and pulls you in. "There's no faith stronger than what you've brought this day."

LIAM: Take him by the hands. We all find ourselves low and in place of trouble. It's always time to come back to his faith.

MATT: You've lost interest in this whole circumstance about the bodies, and this is for you, Travis.

LAURA: What? Like a special note just for him?

MATT: I'm not the only one that suffers. So you get into this, and keen as you are, you've done some hunting in your time and you've seen some wounds spent to various creatures that have been mauled by individuals. You find specifically that, one, it seems like a bear or at least something of a bear's size would have to have done this, but it's wintertime. Bears usually aren't wandering. And the wounds here are thorough. Not killed something and ate pieces of it. There is no indication that there has been portions of these bodies eaten, in fact. They have just been killed and torn apart.

LAURA: Just for no purpose.

MATT: The doc, at this point, stunned by the whole miracle that just transpired before him, walks over to you and goes, "Here's what gets me. Each of these bodies were found on the outskirts of town. Not deep in the woods. Some of these folks weren't seen leaving."

LAURA: Like somebody wanting us to find them.

MATT: "I think some of these bodies were placed after being killed."

TRAVIS: How ghastly!

MATT: "I don't know if these people were outside of the town when they were killed, even. So I'm confused, just as you are, about this."

LAURA: So you think that whatever did this could actually be staying inside of this town?

MATT: "Or at least, whatever did this is working with someone within the town."

MARISHA: Have you noticed any suspicious activity in the town?

MATT: "Have you been to this town for long? It's full of suspicious activity!"

MARISHA: We just arrived this morning. I don't know.

MATT: "Fucking damn it. This whole town's full of cocksuckers, and I don't know how to separate the good from the bad. I wouldn't even believe what you're saying if this guy didn't come in here and fucking prove that God exists to me as an atheist. I'm having a lot going in my head right now."

LIAM: Hallelujah.

MATT: "Halle-fucking-lujah. If you want to help, find out what the shit did this! I need a drink." And he goes over and grabs the bottle of laudanum next to the guy.

TRAVIS: Oh, no, no!

MATT: Who he was helping. "Don't you 'no' or shush me. I know what I need."

TRAVIS: Okay. Oh, good gracious.

LAURA: Don't be stingy.

MATT: "Fuckin'--" Make a persuasion check.

TRAVIS: Stinky Jules.

LAURA: Hold on, I'm about to drink.

MATT: Two red chips to the Reverend.

LIAM: Man down!

LAURA: Wait, zero, but I'm going to add a red chip, so I can get some of that.

MATT: And a black chip to you, Sydney.

LAURA: So five. Yeah, but here's my chip that I just used to get that.

MATT: He goes, "One sip. I ain't got a lot of this."

LIAM: Wait, can I make a persuasion check on her?

MATT: You may.

LIAM: Yeah, I'd like to. Juniper.

LAURA: Don't you fucking call me Juniper! I don't know you.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

LIAM: Technically, you do know me. Biblically.

LAURA: Oh, that's true. Did you check your junk?

(laughter)

LIAM: You don't want to go down that hole.

LAURA: I think you already went down it, if you get my meaning.

LIAM: I'm not good with comedy. This is very awkward. I just don't want to see you going over an edge you can't come back from. What do I roll to stop Laura Bailey from having drugs?

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

LIAM: Yeah, okay. Okay, all right, it's not the worst.

(laughter)

LIAM: Four, both four, and I will add five, so a total of nine.

MATT: Total of nine? I want you to go ahead and-- I'd say for this, roll a spirit.

LAURA: Spirit? It's going to be hard for me to beat, seeing as how I've only got a d6 here. Five.

MATT: Okay. You going to add anything to that?

LAURA: Yeah, all right, I'll add a black chip-- no, no, no, I don't want to reroll it, I've got to add to it, and I'm out of my colors here. All right, I'll add a red. What's that? Nine?

LIAM: Yeah, so equal numbers.

MATT: Both of you guys roll a d6.

LIAM: Dance-off.

TRAVIS: Same time, do it same time.

LAURA and LIAM: One, two, three.

LIAM: Six!

LAURA: Damn it!

MATT: Normally, no one could keep you from a sip of laudanum, but watching the miracles that transpire around this bright and bushy-faced gentleman, you think maybe you should drink this when he's not around, and you gently give it back to the doctor.

LAURA: Fine. I wasted a chip to talk him into giving it to me in the first place.

LIAM: Listen, I'm going to give this to you. It's a bar of soap, it's my last one. Use it.

MATT: "I appreciate you all having your conversations, but if you could do it outside, I got business to tend to."

LAURA: Oh, that tastes like shit! What is this?

LIAM: It doesn't go in your mouth. You know what soap is, right?

TRAVIS: Yeah, it's made of lye, it's for cleaning yourself with.

MATT: As he starts pushing you guys outside of the place, and you get outside, before he closes the door, he goes, "Just a word, I don't know if this will help much, but each of those that were killed inside here were plot owners in gold and silver veins."

TRAVIS: You don't say.

MATT: "Except for the last two."

LAURA: What were they?

MATT: "Hugh and Kilmer. The ones you were looking at. They were under the employ of Al Swearengen in the Gem Saloon. Now, get out!" And he slams the door behind you.

LIAM: The video game developer?

(laughter)

LAURA: Shit. Sounds like it was rich folks getting killed in this town.

TRAVIS: Quite glad to be out of there.

MARISHA: I can think of many reasons to kill rich people. Many.

LAURA: Who should we talk to to find out what kind of creatures have been living in this city?

MATT: You hear a voice creep in the back of your ear, Liam, once again, that says, "The only path to goodness is to find who murdered these people. Follow the trail. Be a hero."

LIAM: Can I pray for guidance to know if this is a devil or an angel talking to me?

MATT: Roll a faith check.

LIAM: I have to. I'll be screwed later, but I have to. Shit. Two and two, shit. Shit! Four.

MATT: It's hard to tell. You've had a lot of miracle stuff happen recently, so you figure this is probably an angel sent from God, but it's hard to tell.

LIAM: Here are two that I've used.

TRAVIS: Salty Jules, I was wondering, would you mind if in my notepad I did a small sketch of your bear cub? I do fancy him so.

LAURA: Oh, is it still following us?

TRAVIS: Yes, yes. Would you mind if I looked after him and maybe did some drawings?

LAURA: Feel free. No one's stopping you.

MARISHA: You want to keep the bear?

TRAVIS: Yes, I would love to look after him, if that's all right. I just--

MARISHA: I foresee this bear possibly killing you in your future, but you know what, go for it. You have a good time with him. You have a good time.

LAURA: You've gotta be strong when you're raising such a creature, now.

TRAVIS: All right.

LAURA: So make sure you discipline him, but also give him lots of love and whisky, but no chocolate, I hear that's bad for him.

TRAVIS: Whisky, love, whisky, and chocolate.

LAURA: No chocolate.

MATT: The bear, which is nuzzling under your hand, Stinky Jules, and is like, just licking.

LAURA: What can I say? He just loves the way I smell.

TRAVIS: I hope he'll be as affectionate with me. May I?

LAURA: You can try.

TRAVIS: Oh, thank you. And I would like to grab the bear and try to cuddle it.

MATT: It begins to growl as soon as you get close.

TRAVIS: No, no! Did you give it a name?

LAURA: Trinket.

TRAVIS: Trinket. Oh yes. Like a little cork. Hello, Trinket. It is your Uncle Sydney.

MATT: Bites at your hand. What is your parry?

TRAVIS: My parry is six.

MATT: Six. All right. So the bear bites out towards your hand, doing seven points of damage. What's your toughness?

TRAVIS: My toughness is five.

MARISHA: Hang on, wait! I'm going to use my snake oil salesman to contest your roll. You can do that, right? Your roll on the bear, the bear attacking him?

MATT: It's not snake oil salesman you're referring to.

MARISHA: Oh sorry, my knack of the seventh sun ability.

MATT: I didn't use a fate chip. You can negate me using one. You can't force me to reroll. When I use a chip, you can be like, nope.

LAURA: Do you announce when you use a chip?

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: You don't know the rules you learned yesterday?

MATT: So the bear bites down on your hand. You pull back. You're considered shaken for the moment.

TRAVIS: I'm quite shaken!

MATT: But the bear's still so fucking cute!

TRAVIS: He's so lovely. Quite a voracious little energetic one. I'm still-- my god. Can you see the flesh?

LAURA: I wonder if this little beast can lead us to another beast?

MARISHA: Good, good.

LAURA: I mean, it is a baby, I don't know.

TRAVIS: Quite cute.

MATT: Just licks a little bit of blood off of its teeth and grins at you.

MARISHA: We could probably use him as bait.

LAURA: That's true, we could. It is so hard to fight the motherly instinct. I know I'm not, but it's real hard to fight it!

MATT: What's the plan now?

TRAVIS: Well, perhaps we should go to this Mr. Swearengen's place, see what the people in his employ were actually up to.

LAURA: That's smart. You're smart!

TRAVIS: Thank you, yes, I do a lot of reading.

LAURA: Well, lead the way, Smarts.

TRAVIS: Yes, of course.

MATT: You actually saw the Gem Saloon. It's not too far from the Bella Union.

TRAVIS: This way. Mind the horseshit.

LAURA: I step right through the horseshit.

MATT: She does. Right up to the ankle.

TRAVIS: To each their own.

MATT: You eventually make your way towards the Gem Saloon. As you walk up, there is piano being played, but unlike the Bella Union, it's not quite as fanciful and the interior's a little more dreary. As you step inside, you can see a few patrons around, you can see a few of the female workers of the establishment who are all leaning in the back corner in various states of undress, but all look hot and not really into it at the moment.

TRAVIS: Reverend, avert your eyes. Hello!

MATT: As you walk in and say that, you see across the way, a man with a big, black beard and long hair, little bowler cap on with a rifle across his shoulder and a white shirt with a single strap over for his overalls, looks over and starts walking towards you with his rifle in his hand. Just goes, (Clarota voice) "What brings you here to the Gem Saloon? Sorry, I got punched in the throat and it's healing."

TRAVIS: That sounds awful. We may have someone that might be able to help you. My name is Sydney Hopkins Trivelpiece.

MATT: "What you cocksuckers doing here in the Gem? What you looking for?"

LAURA: Them bodies in the doc's place. They came from you?

MATT: "They're a couple men we lost, yes, but that's not our problem."

LAURA: I mean, but why? They been teared up by a beast or something. Figure out what that is? You seen any beasts around here, outside of this little bear?

MATT: "I've seen no fucking beasts. If you're here to drink, fucking get in here. Otherwise, I need you to step off."

LAURA: All right. I go up to the bar and get some drinks going.

TRAVIS: If you don't mind, sir, what is your name?

MATT: Looks at you for a second. Make a persuasion check.

TRAVIS: Oh, shit.

LAURA: That's good!

TRAVIS: That's not bad. That's balls. I'm going to spend a reroll.

LAURA: That's the eight you reroll.

TRAVIS: Oh, I do reroll the eight if I use a black chip? Oh, thank god. Hey! Eight!

MATT: Roll again.

TRAVIS: 15!

MATT: Gives you a look-over and his demeanor shifts, changes again, and he goes, "Sorry. Just doing my job. Name's Dan. Yeah, Doherty." Shakes your hand for a second. "So right now you know who's boss."

TRAVIS: My writing hand. Dan Doherty.

MATT: "So if you want a drink, over to the bar. Otherwise, sit down. Listen to some music. Buy yourself some pussy. Doesn't matter to me."

TRAVIS: Oh, pussy, yes.

LIAM: Dan, if you've got means here to boil some water and some whisky that you've got, I could probably help you out with your throat, if you like. A little background in medicine. Your choice.

LAURA: I like the way you sound, Dan!

MATT: He gives you a look. "You ain't look like you ever suffered more than suckling your mother's tit, and I don't trust anyone who don't drink, nor anyone who don't have to shave."

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

MATT: "That's what I said." He goes and high-fives the guy at the table next to him, this older, drunk fella who heard the whole conversation and is laughing at your rather mousey--

LIAM: Dan, I've seen the brains pour out of a man's head on the field of battle on the Eastern coast. You can have my help if you want, or you can suffer.

MATT: "I'll take suffer. I prefer to heal on my own. The proper way. None of your fucking godmongering types here saying that the word can help." And he spins around, keeps an eye over his shoulder, mistrusting towards you, with the rifle still at his side.

LIAM: God bless, Dan.

TRAVIS: I'm sorry, could I ask you all a question? I've always been quite curious about the employment of the American whore. I was wondering if you wouldn't mind if I went and interviewed one for my journal. Perhaps you could do me the queries here, and I might leave you for a moment?

MARISHA: Are you asking permission to go speak to whore?

TRAVIS: Yes.

MARISHA: If you want to go fuck whore, go fuck whore. You don't have to ask permission.

LAURA: There's plenty around.

MARISHA: Don't try and say you're interviewing whore when we know what you want.

MATT: The voice returns and goes, "Men and women are born every day through a union of others. "Go. Be merry. Touch. Feel."

TRAVIS: Just curious, Padre. I don't know quite what your denomination is--

LIAM: Protestant.

TRAVIS: Oh, Protestant, lovely. So would you care to perhaps get an adjoining room? Just because I'm afraid I'll feel rather exposed upstairs.

LIAM: I'm not really sure what you're asking? Are you asking me to babysit while you--

TRAVIS: No, just perhaps join me for a trip down the old lane?

LAURA: Was that a blink?

(laughter)

LAURA: Did you just blink at him?

TRAVIS: It was a double-blink.

LAURA: So you want one of them whores?

TRAVIS: To speak to one, yes.

LAURA: I pull up the closest whore to me. Hey. Which one of you are the least itchy? (clicks tongue)

MATT: They all look at each other. They're all giving you a very, very curious look, and they all put their hand out like, "Honey. We're all clean. The doctor takes care of us. You going to pay or not?"

LAURA: They're all clean. I don't believe a word she says, but they're all clean.

MARISHA: It's only matter of time.

TRAVIS: Yes, I would like to acquire one whore, please.

MATT: "Ten dollars, take your choice."

TRAVIS: Ten dollars. Is that a going rate in the States? Ten dollars it is, yes. Ten dollars.

MATT: She takes you by the hand and starts leading you up the stairs.

TRAVIS: Quiet room. Hopefully secluded from the others.

LAURA: He wants to interview you!

MATT: He gets closed behind the door. Three of you guys, what are you doing?

LAURA: I go and ask one of them whores about the guys that are dead. I want to find a whore and ask her about-- (laughs) Ask her about them bodies I found over at Doc's place.

MATT: You find a woman, a brunette, rosy make-up cheeks who's sitting at a table, just fanning herself off in this strangely muggy warm day in the middle of the winter.

LAURA: Oh, yeah, it's hot, isn't it?

MATT: "You're telling me. This day's been all sorts of muggy. How can I help you?"

LAURA: Hey, I saw them bodies over at Doc's place. Tored up.

MATT: "I don't want to talk about that."

LAURA: Wait, wait, don't-- I just, did you know those dudes? Those guys?

MATT: "Kilmer was one of the nicer fellas who worked here at the Gem. He, well. Sad to hear that he met a weird fate."

LAURA: And he actually worked here?

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

LAURA: All right, that's good to know. What about that other fella?

MATT: "Hugh worked here as well, but I'm honestly kind of glad Hugh got what he had coming."

LAURA: Hugh. He's a fucker, wasn't he? All right, when did they go missing?

MATT: "I don't rightfully know. You'd have to ask Mr. Schwerenger about that."

LAURA: Where's Mr. Schwerenger?

MATT: She looks up, and you can see at the top of the stairs, it curls around and there's an office with a closed door on the second floor.

LAURA: We allowed to go up there? That looks like lock-and-key sort of shit.

MATT: She points over to-- you see Dan at the corner with his rifle, keeping a very close look on you. "You got to talk to him."

LAURA: Talk to Dan? All right. Hey. Thanks for the help, there.

MATT: Holds her hand out.

LAURA: Aw, shit. I hand her some money.

MATT: Okay. Takes it.

MARISHA: Sudis actually wanted to go talk to Dan.

MATT: Okay. So as you turn around, Sudis has walked up to Dan. As you approach, he has the gun at his side, and he begins to pull back the trigger. "Can I help you?"

MARISHA: How do you say name again?

MATT: "Dan. Dan Doherty. That's far enough. You come any closer, I'm going to go ahead and take your eye out."

LAURA: Oh, don't mind her. She's just a fortune teller.

LIAM: (hiccups)

LAURA: You all right there, Rev?

MATT: He pulls a small black feather out of his mouth after the hiccup and is confused by the whole thing.

LIAM: I suppose it is a little funny. (hiccups) We're all tested. Each in our own way.

MARISHA: Looking at the aura, the energy surrounding you, I don't think you'd pull that trigger, would you, Dan?

LAURA: I think he'd pull it there, hon.

MATT: Make a notice check.

MARISHA: What do I do? Five.

MATT: Five? He would definitely pull that trigger. You get the sense he's pulled a lot of triggers, and he's aiming right at you. "One more step."

MARISHA: I'm sorry. I just thought you might like a little bit of insight into your future. I can see great potential in you, Dan.

MATT: "I don't want any of this. Too many fucking weird things happen in this town. Don't want any of your god damn magical bullshit. Get the fuck out of the Gem before I shoot your eye out--"

LAURA: Hey, hey! Sue, Sue.

MARISHA: All right. I was going to save your life, but have it your way. Oh, and watch your back.

LAURA: She's scary as fuck.

MATT: "Don't trust them gypsy types at all."

LAURA: Hey, Dan.

MATT: "What you want? You might need someone. Go on."

LAURA: Your employer up at the top of them stairs. How do I get to talk to him?

MATT: "No one talks to Al unless they get permission. What you want to talk to him about?"

LAURA: How do I get permission to talk--

MATT: "Tell me what you need for him, I'll talk to him, and he'll tell you no."

LAURA: No, I want to help you kill the motherfucker that killed your motherfuckers. Now you seem capable.

MATT: "Is he all right?"

LAURA: He's done some crazy shit today.

MATT: "I can see. You're supposed to cook the bird first, asshole!"

LIAM: What?

MATT: "It's the throat thing, I'm sorry."

LIAM: I know, I can-- never mind.

MATT: "Sit the fuck down. You get the fuck out of the Gem, or I swear to fucking god, I'm going to shoot."

LIAM: I take a step in front of the gypsy. Dan.

MATT: "You got until three to calm your friends the fuck down, or I'm going to go ahead and take 'em both out."

MARISHA: I'm quite calm. Do I look aroused? I don't--

LAURA: Calm down, you guys that are really revved up right now.

LIAM: I'd like to reach my hand down to--

LAURA: Down to what?

LIAM: --Stinky Jules' revolver.

LAURA: Hey, get your fucking hand off my gun. Don't fucking touch my gun.

MATT: Reach for her revolver?

LIAM: No, not to take it, to cast Smite on it.

TRAVIS: Sometimes reaching's all that needs to be done.

LIAM: Give her the ol' reach-around.

LAURA: You're going to reach for my gun when a motherfucker's pointing a gun at you?

MATT: So Travis, first off, while we're in this moment, as time has passed, I would like for you to go ahead and roll a spirit check.

TRAVIS: That's a four. Four.

LAURA: Add something to it!

MATT: You got chips, guys, use 'em.

LAURA: I know, we've got so many.

TRAVIS: Shit, still a four.

LAURA: No, you rerolled, yeah.

MATT: Red one would add to it. If you wanted to use a red one to add to it, you can.

TRAVIS: Yeah, why not?

MATT: All right. So add a d6 to that one.

TRAVIS: Fucking dick-licking piece of-- five.

MATT: Five. Do you want to use another chip to add more to it?

TRAVIS: Yeah, why not?

MATT: On the important rolls.

TRAVIS: What is the deal? There's no--

MATT: So, total of six?

TRAVIS: Yes! I have giblets. This is terrible!

MATT: A respectable five minutes pass before he makes his way outside of the room, nice and sweaty.

TRAVIS: With my sleeves rolled up.

MATT: You come down immediately to see what appears to be a stand-off, rifle drawn, right at the Reverend, as you begin to reach towards her gun on the side--

LIAM: Okay, I know I'm in front of her. Where's Stinky?

MATT: He's up the stairway.

LIAM: He who? She?

MATT: She's maybe four or five feet from you.

LIAM: Do I need to touch the gun to-- oh, okay. Then I can't do that at all. She's five feet behind me.

LAURA: Also, I'd probably murder you for trying to touch my weapon.

TRAVIS: She was very forthcoming. Gave me quite a bit of difficulty at first, but-- oh, what happened here?

LIAM: I'm backing up, I'm backing up. Relax, relax. Hand behind me.

LAURA: Put your hands down.

LIAM: I brush my fingers across her gun and cast Smite.

MATT: Okay, against her gun? Spend two points.

LAURA: Would I have noticed that he brushed his hand?

MATT: Make a notice check.

LIAM: It's called the dick graze.

LAURA: I don't got a dick.

LIAM: What do I roll for this? Spirit, right? Faith.

MARISHA: Just the tip.

LIAM: God damn it.

LAURA: I got a four. Well, I've only got one blue chip, and the other one's a reroll, so I can't get any better.

LIAM: Total of nine.

MATT: All right. So that's with the raise, so you go ahead, and there's a dull glow at the side of her holster as you manage to enchant her weapon with Smite.

LAURA: What's that mean?

MATT: You don't know. You do manage to glance to the side and notice that he brushed his fingers past, and there's a slight glow off of your holster. "Two!"

MARISHA: Dan. Pull that trigger and it will be the last trigger you pull. So says the dark entity behind your shoulder.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

TRAVIS: Which way is Dan facing in relation to me?

MATT: You're looking down the stairs. You see Dan's-- they're both at the side, looking at each other from your perspective, down below.

MARISHA: I'm going to use a black chip just to see if I can do better. Six again. Six.

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

MATT: All right! I'll pick it up later.

(clang)

MATT: Thank you. Oh, it sounds good when you do that.

LIAM: You don't want to shoot an unarmed man, do you, Dan?

MATT: So he's still-- glances over his shoulder. Doesn't see anything. You do hear a door slam in the distance, and a voice comes blaring out. "Who the fuck is causing problems in my saloon?"

LAURA: Al?

MATT: "And who the fuck is calling my name?" At this point, Dan puts his gun down. "Sir, I didn't mean nothing by it, had these folks come in--" He's like, "I will gut you like a god damn fish, Dan."

MARISHA: Sudi starts crying. No-- no English.

MATT: "What do you want, or get the fuck out of my place!"

LAURA: We're here to help. Me and these weirdos that surround me are here to look for the people that have been killing your men.

LIAM: You smell like cow plops.

TRAVIS: Mr. Schwerengen, Sydney Hopkins Trivelpiece. We're on a mission to find--

MATT: "The more you talk, the less I want to talk to any of you. You. Looking to see if you can help my men who got killed, right?"

LAURA: That's right.

MATT: "Get on up to my office." He turns around and goes back inside. Storms back out again and goes like, "And Dan? You tell me next time we have guests looking for me. Do not point a gun at them." Glances over at you and goes, "I don't trust her. Go ahead and go that way. The rest of them, let them up."

TRAVIS: Stinky Jules, be quick about it.

LAURA: Be quick about what?

TRAVIS: Your meeting.

LAURA: Why?

TRAVIS: No reason. The gentleman in the lobby seems very aggressive.

LAURA: Sure.

LIAM: What just happened? Al invited the three of us?

MATT: Three of you guys up, and was like, "You can stay."

MARISHA: (groans) I go over and I start talking to the whores, seeing if they want their fortunes told.

MATT: All right. The three of you guys make your way up to the office.

LIAM: (Sudis voice) You're going to fuck a guy...

MARISHA: I see many STDs in your future.

MATT: Desk is up there, there's papers strewn across, there's a balcony with a door half-open, and you see a partially dressed woman currently leaving out of the far bedroom, rushes past you guys. You enter the room. "Would you mind closing the door behind you?"

LAURA: Close the door, Rev.

LIAM: (creaking sound)

MATT: "All right. So. To who the fuck do I owe this pleasure?"

LAURA: Well, I'm Stinky Jules. Nice to make your acquaintance.

TRAVIS: I would ask if I may speak.

MATT: "Oh, be my guest."

TRAVIS: Oh. Lovely. Sydney Hopkins Trivelpiece, at your service, from the great country of England, here to chronicle the glory and power of the Wild West. You, sir, your name has quite the renown--

MATT: "Whereabouts in England? I actually had some time there myself."

TRAVIS: Yes, well, point of fact, I am from Tawnyland, and by route of Shepardshire. But I took a barge and landed in the beautiful state of Mississippi.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

LIAM: Is he faking it?

LAURA: Is he faking what?

LIAM: Do you think he's from New Jersey?

TRAVIS: Six. Ten.

MATT: "All right, calm down, calm down. Usually folks aren't so eager around this place. Jittery. "All right, so. You say you're here to help with my men. All right." (sighs) And he walks out, looks over the balcony for a second. "Fucking cocksucker cleaned out the tables with a grin. You seen this asshole walking in town, taking all the money?"

LAURA: Oh. Yes, we did. Well, I tried to punch him. I almost punched him. But we did in fact see him cheating at poker earlier today.

MATT: "Next time he crosses your path, go ahead and punch him for me, if you don't mind."

LAURA: I will certainly try to do that again, sir.

TRAVIS: That's Simon he's speaking of.

LAURA: Simon.

MATT: "Is that his name? Simon. Good to know. Certainly hope he took Cy for all he's worth, too. There goes a joyride for the trees alone. You see him again, deck him. There's some cash in it for you."

TRAVIS: Understood.

LAURA: What's wrong with you?

TRAVIS: The hand is hurting quite a bit.

MATT: So. He says, "All right, so I've heard some terrible fucking news. A new interest is coming to town soon. George Hurst. The same rich fucking loadrunner's Hurst. Hurst, Hagen, Tevvyson, cocksucker's company. Last thing we need in this place is another fucking company man without an appreciation for allies."

LAURA: Yeah. I don't have any idea what he just said.

MATT: "I'll tell you what. You want work? Pay you $400 to split, and a free run of the ladies for the night, if you bring me anything linking Hurst to these rumors of silver going belly-up in this town."

LAURA: What the fuck does this have to do with that damn creature killing people? I'm confused.

TRAVIS: Yes, I do believe it was two of your men that were torn asunder by this horrible creature.

LAURA: Do you think it was Hurst that killed them?

MATT: "Very possible. You find that out, you come back with some information about that. Or, if it's this fucking bear they keep saying it is, bring back the bear's hide. $200 to you to spread as you like for the hide of whatever fucking creature killed my boys."

TRAVIS: So $400 for the silver and $200 for the beast.

MATT: "It's hard to find dependable men these days, and some heroics in town can only bring spirits up. Higher spirits make for higher-paying customers."

TRAVIS: Yes, yes.

LAURA: Sure. Where would we start to look for any of the shit you just talked about?

MATT: "If I knew, I'd go looking for it my-fucking-self! What am I paying you for?"

TRAVIS: Mr. Schwerengen, I am quite familiar with Cy's establishment.

MATT: "Shut the fuck up, please."

TRAVIS: I was just saying, I have information.

LAURA: He has information.

MATT: "Spill it."

TRAVIS: I was just saying, I could lead these intrepid band of investigators over to Cy's place and--

LAURA: Cy? Simon?

TRAVIS: Yes, Cy. He runs the-- what is the name of the saloon--

MATT: "The Bella Union."

TRAVIS: The Bella Union. Oh, wait, that's where we had our...

MATT: "So. Want some cash? Find out who the fuck killed my men. See if Hurst is behind any of this."

LAURA: All right. We will do that.

MATT: "Now, get out. Your choice: stairs or the balcony."

TRAVIS: Stairs.

MATT: "Good. Wise choice." Slams the door behind you guys.

LAURA: Kind of wanted to go out the balcony.

MATT: You, in the meantime, there is a woman who has come up to you and said, "Actually, I've always wanted my fortune told, if you don't mind."

MARISHA: Absolutely, darling. What's your name?

MATT: "Lisa."

MARISHA: So what does Lisa look like? Can I do a notice check on Lisa?

MATT: Yeah. The voice in your head, once again, Liam, goes, "Come. Take one. Any of them. It'll right your connection with your lord."

MARISHA: Seven. Lisa, Lisa, come here, darling, Lisa. Let me get a good look at you.

MATT: She's young, she hasn't been in this business long. You can see a bit of fear and worry in the back of her eyes.

MARISHA: Looks like someone hurt you in your past. Da?

MATT: "Get hurt a lot in this line of work."

MARISHA: So are you running or are you chasing pain, Lisa?

MATT: "What do you mean?"

MARISHA: Be careful.

MATT: "Careful of what?"

MARISHA: This work you do could very easily consume you. But it hasn't yet.

MATT: As you can say that, you can see one of the whores nearby trips and knocks her down onto the table, knocking out her front teeth.

MARISHA: Wait, the woman I was just talking to?

MATT: Yeah. (muffled screams) And just begins running off. The other women take her in and then start picking up her teeth on the table.

TRAVIS: What did you do to her?

MATT: "You get out of this place, you fortune teller. You get out of this place."

MARISHA: I did not see that coming.

MATT: You hear (gun cocks) and Dan has his rifle up at the back and is like, "I told you to keep out."

LIAM: I swoop and I hook her on the arm and I just guide her out the door.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: Don't worry, we'll meet again, Dan. As well as the demon on your shoulder. Bye, demon! Bye-bye! (blows kisses)

MATT: He looks over his shoulder again, kind of nervously.

LIAM: Strong stuff you serve. Strong stuff. Come on, out the door you go.

MARISHA: I made like five gold doing that.

TRAVIS: I'll be with you shortly. Mr. Doherty? If I may. The whore that I was able to interview upstairs. What was her name?

MATT: "Which one was it?"

TRAVIS: The red-haired one. Lovely blue eyes.

MATT: "Virginia."

TRAVIS: Virginia, yes. Would you do me a favor and follow up with her in a bit. I did do quite a number on her. I just want to make sure that she's all right.

MATT: "I'm sure she is."

TRAVIS: I was quite proud of myself. Anyway. Oh, Stinky Jules! Unfortunately, Sue knocked all the teeth out of the woman she was trying to tell the fortune for. Dan, here, was about to put a hole in her head again, so we're going to--

MARISHA: I did not touch that woman. I was simply giving her fortune.

LAURA: How'd she lose her teeth, then?

MARISHA: She just tripped. One of the other women pulled her down and she tripped and fell. It had nothing to do with me.

LAURA: Can't blame her for that! I mean. Lots of people are drinking in this bar. Accidents happen.

MARISHA: Not everything is necessarily a pull of fate's strings, okay? It's sometimes shit just happens.

TRAVIS: Perhaps we should find our way to this spot. Bartender, may I have some whisky? Could you pour it on this hand? It's throbbing quite badly.

MATT: As you turn at this point, you see Dan still has his gun up and says, "Go ahead and find whisky elsewhere. You four are fucking not welcome right now until you come back with what Al was asking about."

LIAM: Understood, Dan. Thank you for your patience.

TRAVIS: Mr. Schwerengen has said--

MATT: "Out."

LAURA: Get the fuck out! Let's go.

MATT: You guys find your way outside of the Gem Saloon.

LAURA: Why are you petting air?

MARISHA: Just itch. Bit of itch.

LAURA: It's better if you're itching to actually touch your body. I've found it has a better effect.

MATT: The monkey in your ear whispers out. "Follow the trail of gold and silver. This is where you must go." And curls back up into your hair.

MARISHA: Ah, Manitou.

LIAM: Hockmanitou?

TRAVIS: It's her foreign tongue, I'm sure.

MARISHA: Just thinking out loud.

LIAM: I'm trying to figure it out. I heard you say "Da." Are you Russian?

TRAVIS: Stinky Jules, could you pour some whisky on my hand? I'm afraid it's infected. I'm feeling a bit feverish. I feel-- oh, please, careful now.

LAURA: I poke at it.

TRAVIS: (yelps) Oh, it's quite pus-ridden. It feels wonderful.

LAURA: I push it out. Okay. Yeah, that looks pretty.

TRAVIS: Quite. Careful. Thank you.

LAURA: Sure, take some whisky there.

TRAVIS: Yes, if you don't mind.

MATT: Pour some whisky over the hand. You feel inspired. Travis, you get a red chip.

LIAM: I'm going to take-- Come here, Mr. English, or wherever you're from.

TRAVIS: Mr. Trivelpiece.

LIAM: Right. Let's take ten minutes to take care of this.

TRAVIS: Oh, no, no, that's quite all right.

LIAM: You want the pus?

TRAVIS: I must learn to be as tough as the lands I am interviewing.

MATT: Go ahead and make a guts check.

TRAVIS: I don't know where that is.

LIAM: Where'd it go? I don't think you have it.

TRAVIS: Minus two for me, if I don't have it?

LAURA: Just a four minus two.

TRAVIS: I'm going to add a blue chip, because that sucked so much. So five.

MATT: Five, okay. You, after saying that, shake it off and look down. You can deal with this.

TRAVIS: Yes, it's quite all right.

MATT: No longer shaken by it, you feel like this wound will subside in time.

LIAM: I'm going to pull Stinky off into an alley for a second. Stinky.

LAURA: You want some more of this action, Rev?

LIAM: You know, I'm not a Sunday school child. I'm not a blushing flower. I understand how the world works. I don't need the money. So you can have my share. Helping this town is enough. But I do want to understand-- I realize you have a higher tolerance than I do. What happened last night?

LAURA: Oh, yeah, we had sex. Well, you had a lot of sex with the Sue girl, a little bit of sex with brains over there.

LIAM: Okay. That was very candid.

MATT: The voice in your ear creeps in and goes, "It's all true."

LIAM: I know that's a fucking devil.

TRAVIS: He shakes his head no.

LAURA: Is that not all right with you, Rev?

LIAM: People find comfort where they can.

LAURA: You were real, real, real into it, I just want to let you know. You were having a lot of fun. I even, at one point, asked if you wanted to stop, because it seemed a little bit obscene even to me, but you kept on go--

LIAM: Do you have any whisky?

LAURA: I do. Here, have some.

LIAM: Can I have it?

MATT: At this point, the sun has begun to set, and you hear in the distance what sounds like a gunshot.

LAURA: Did you really just drink my whisky?

LIAM: No.

LAURA: Yes, you did.

TRAVIS: A gunshot?

MATT: A gunshot in the distance. A second gunshot.

LAURA: Shit! I take off running.

MARISHA: Let's follow.

MATT: Okay. You guys go charging off now, on the sound of this distant gunshot.

MARISHA: I'm on my peg leg.

TRAVIS: Come on, Trinket.

LIAM: Ever consider marriage?

MATT: You make your way to the outskirts of the town, where you see there's now people surrounding what looks to be an individual who is torn open, their stomach pulled out, but they're holding a gun, and they're on the ground, passing out at this point.

LAURA: Oh, shit! I pull out my gun and look around for whatever it was that was just attacking him.

TRAVIS: I run down to the poor individual.

MATT: Notice check.

LAURA: Notice, notice. Damn it. I'm going to-- wait. Damn it! All right, I'm going to spend a blue.

LIAM: Hey, Marshal? You think I got two minutes for the bathroom before the shit hits the fan, here?

MATT: Sure, go for it.

LAURA: It's because he just drank all that whisky. Going straight through him.

LAURA: Can I-- I only got four.

MATT: You got a four? Looking around the darkness, as the shadow's started to take the nearby forest, you see nothing before you. But you do see some of the other folks in town who are starting to bring out what looks like torchlight and starting to make a little posse to go out and seek. You see the well-dressed gentleman who wandered up earlier, Simon. "What's going on? This is-- what?"

MARISHA: Simon, was it?

MATT: "Yes. Hello again."

MARISHA: What brings you out here? You came quite fast.

LAURA: Simon! I walk up and I punch him.

(laughter)

MATT: Go ahead and roll fighting.

MARISHA: Yes! Yes!

TRAVIS: And while they're with Simon, I would like to be with the guy that's holding the gun and torn open.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: I got a five.

MATT: You got a five? Okay, go ahead and just roll a d4. Or what's your strength?

LAURA: Strength is-- oh, it's just four.

MATT: Yeah, so roll a d4, add one to it.

LAURA: Two.

MATT: All right, so you-- is that your fighting roll?

LAURA: Oh, I want to reroll.

MATT: Oh, go ahead and reroll. The fighting is a d4?

LAURA: I fought him, I got--

MATT: No, you got the five, yes, so you're going to reroll the--

LAURA: The attack. Four! And add one to it, so five.

MARISHA: Right before her fist meets his face, I go, pain incoming.

MATT: And he goes, "What?" (impact) Her fist comes out of the side of your visual perspective. His hat gets flung off to the side. He hits the ground.

MARISHA: See? I can predict future!

MATT: He's now missing a tooth.

LAURA: I pick up the tooth, and I put it in my pocket. And I tell everybody, everybody saw that! If anybody asks, I did in fact punch that man.

MATT: A man rushes out and picks him up and goes, "Are you okay?" And helps Simon up off the ground. You see a man looking with a sad turtle-like wrinkled face, a paisley-blue velvet outfit that's worn, dirty, a hat much like yours, and he stammers as he lifts him off the ground. "Why? Why have you taken this moment to feel it important to impart onto my gentle cousin your fist?"

LAURA: Oh, because I was asked to by Mr. Salinger.

MARISHA: Schwerenger.

LAURA: Schewerenger.

MARISHA: There we go.

MATT: "Al? Al told you to? Did you piss off Al? That's dangerous."

MARISHA: What they call you, cousin? Or is your name Cousin?

MATT: "He is my cousin. I'm E.B. Farnum, the mayor of this fair town, and I am also the owner of the Grand Central Hotel, if you ever want to come stay with us. You're more than welcome. Is she welcome? She just punched you." And Simon's still coming to his senses and goes, "I-- Why?!"

LAURA: I just walk away from him and start asking people if anybody saw who attacked that other feller.

MATT: Okay. Folks are confused at this point, and they're pulling out their torches and their guns. The guy on the ground, by the way, as you're searching him, has--

TRAVIS: Is he alive?

MATT: He is expiring rapidly.

TRAVIS: Is he? I bend down and say--

LIAM: Who is he? What's going on?

MARISHA: We've got a guy in the street.

MATT: "It was teeth and fur." And he passes out.

LIAM: I'm walking out to him and laying on hands.

MATT: All right, go ahead and make a faith check. Two more points.

LIAM: I know. Okay.

MARISHA: Did you recover any?

LIAM: I don't know.

MARISHA: He recovers every few hours, right?

MATT: One.

LIAM: Okay, I'm going to use-- the reroll is the blue?

LAURA: No, the black is the reroll.

MATT: Other ones add d6s. Thank you.

LIAM: 12.

MARISHA: Ooh!

LIAM: Put those innards back in, son.

MATT: As you reach down, your hand touches him. In the darkness of the newly formed dusk, you see warmth begin to emerge from your medic's hands, and all the intestines slowly pull back into the body, the wound closing, leaving the shorn shirt of the individual. He comes to consciousness with a deep breath.

LAURA: That's just fucking crazy.

LIAM: You're okay.

MATT: You can see E.B. Farnum's like, "What is going on? Everything's turned upside-down. I don't know what's happening."

TRAVIS: Reverend, perhaps you could speak some calming words to Mr. Farnum.

MATT: Simon turns to him and they whisper to each other.

MARISHA: I'm still standing next to Simon. Do I hear what he says?

MATT: Make a notice check.

MARISHA: Ugh, I'm going to spend a reroll. Not much better. Three!

MATT: Give this to Laura, please. Three? No, you don't hear anything. You hear some whispering, and you notice that Simon nods and looks about shiftily and darts off into the town as E.B. takes his place with a big smile.

MARISHA: Can I follow Simon? Stealthily, like blend in with the crowd behind him?

MATT: Go ahead and make a stealth check.

MARISHA: I'm not trained in this. Ooh, I rolled a three, though, which is pretty good. Minus two. So one.

MATT: As you turn around, E.B. goes, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you. A lot of things have been happening in this town as of late--"

MARISHA: Your palms are very sweaty. Don't touch again.

MATT: "Sorry, it's a thing."

MARISHA: You seem nervous. Why nervous?

MATT: "I always seem nervous, but as the mayor of this town, I feel--"

MARISHA: Mayor? Who made you mayor?

MATT: "I did. And Mr. Schwerengen. I don't have to talk to you! Look, miss. There has been a terrible incursion of an evil sort, a blight on our fair city, and I think it's important that we as a people figure out who is responsible."

LAURA: I agree with that statement.

MARISHA: I know, E.B., I know. And I reach out and I touch his face.

MATT: Smacks it away. "Unhand me, gypsy foul demon-woman!"

TRAVIS: You know, the Reverend is quite good at calming the nerves. He has quite the touch.

MATT: At this point, the man who he's healed stands up. Black chip for Laura. And goes, "I don't know what to say." You see now, he's an older gentleman with a big, thick beard and a bowler hat and he's shorter, stockier. "You saved my life, and I appreciate that."

LIAM: All I ask is that you use your time more kindly and more wisely.

LAURA: And tell us who it was that attacked you.

MATT: "Name's Charlie. Charlie Arthur. I was out taking a walk in my thinking hour, when I noticed something moving on the outskirts of town. I went to check it out, like one is wont to do in my place here in town. Something with a lot of fur and teeth came at me from that way." And he points out towards the north end of town that leads out towards the various mining claims.

LIAM: How big a creature are we talking about, Charlie?

MATT: "About the size of a bear, best I could tell. But not bear-like. It was more savage, like a dog. But this dog was on its hind legs, it looked like. Then it wasn't, then it ran like a bear. I don't know. I got two shots off, didn't seem to stop it, then it tore out the side of my stomach and left me for dead."

LAURA: But you're not dead!

TRAVIS: Your wounds seem to have healed miraculously.

MATT: "Excuse me while I go get a very firm drink."

TRAVIS: Perhaps I can walk you there.

MATT: "You keep strange company, and while I appreciate what you've done, that weird shit-- I've had enough of it for the day."

LAURA: We should go check out that bear-walking-dog-bear beastly sort of creature and kill it.

MATT: You can see E.B. is still looking over your shoulder as you're talking with him, and he's pushed you away. "I'm sorry. I think it is time that I returned about my business and left you, woman of the arcane dark arts, out of my sight. Good day."

MARISHA: Oh, don't worry, E.B., I don't have to be in your sights.

LAURA: Again, aim for the actual part that itches. It helps, I swear.

LIAM: Charlie. It's a gift from above. Don't waste it.

MATT: "Oh. Ugh." And he seems like he's super confused and torn by the whole thing that's happened. He just walks into town. Some of the people are out now, forming parties who go out into the middle of the forest.

TRAVIS: I'll be with you in one moment. I chase after Charlie and I put my hand on his shoulder and I say, dear sir, might I get a quote for my book? Or rather, may I give you one?

MATT: "I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about."

TRAVIS: (deep voice) "Well, some people don't get to escape death." And I take my bowie knife out of my sleeve and I stab him in the heart and turn the wound so it opens.

MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make a fighting check.

LIAM: He's a faker, yeah. Big surprise.

TRAVIS: I'm going to reroll the strength check. That's an eight. That's a six. That's a 14.

MATT: With two raises, or raising the attack. So go ahead and roll damage, plus an additional d6.

TRAVIS: How do I roll damage?

MATT: It's under your bowie knife.

LIAM: Oh man, Jesus is displeased with you. I just fucking healed that guy.

MARISHA: I told you, you are only prolonging the inevitable. By 30 seconds, yeah. Sometimes people are just meant to die.

LIAM: Hey, man, Liam's agnostic. I get you.

TRAVIS: Oh, sorry, this guy.

MATT: Yeah, so roll that twice.

TRAVIS: Five.

MATT: Plus two, so seven. Plus your d6.

TRAVIS: Ten.

LAURA: Seven plus four is 11.

TRAVIS: Oh, I'm sorry, 11.

MATT: Do you want to use a red chip to add another d6 to that? Just 'cause why not? Add another d6.

TRAVIS: Three. 14.

LIAM: Does he explode into a mist of blood?

MATT: No. As you walk away, arm over him, do you keep walking with him? He goes limp in your grasp.

TRAVIS: Oh, no, no, someone come quickly! It seems his wounds have been extremely grievous! Oh, please, somebody help Charlie!

MATT: You guys now see as Charlie has collapsed to the ground, now, just a gout of blood out of his chest where the previous scar wounding was.

TRAVIS: Oh, my dear, oh, I wasn't quite ready for this.

MARISHA: Can I do an insight check on Sydney?

MATT: No insight.

TRAVIS: Please, I'm afraid his blood will get in the bear wound.

LAURA: All right, let me check it out. Maybe we should pour some more whisky on that. Just push on the wound.

TRAVIS: Don't fucking touch-- yes, yes. The whisky alone would be great.

MARISHA: Nine.

MATT: If I could have you go ahead and make a persuasion check.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LIAM: While he's doing that, question: he dropped his accent for a second 20 minutes ago. But I don't catch that if the dice don't catch it, right?

MATT: Correct.

TRAVIS: I'm going to reroll that. Yes! So that's a seven.

MATT: Seven? You going to add anything else to that, or no?

TRAVIS: I'm going to add a d6. That is nine. Oh wait, no, seven plus three is ten.

MATT: Ten? He looks earnest. It looks like somehow the wound has reopened and Syndey is genuinely fearful of what has just happened.

TRAVIS: I'm really not quite prepared.

MARISHA: I told you he was meant to die.

LIAM: Can't trust the English, if we've learned anything.

TRAVIS: I was only trying to escort him back. Oh, well. I suppose--

LAURA: Well, shit. We should get that doc out here and take care of them wounds again. In the meantime, maybe we should all go find that bear.

MARISHA: We need to start at some of the mining locations. Some of the gold and silver veins.

TRAVIS: The bear is just here.

LAURA: The bear ran out into the woods. It's right that way.

MARISHA: I know, but I think we should follow it towards one of the mining--

TRAVIS: Is anyone adept at tracking such an animal?

LIAM: I pull out the sharpened crucifix I have. It's that way, and I just walk off.

MATT: Towards the woods? You guys watch as your reverend fellow walks off into the woods.

MARISHA: Well, it's a start.

LAURA: We start following him.

TRAVIS: Yes, of course!

LAURA: I push Sydney in front of me, and I say, maybe you should follow behind the reverend there, Sydney.

TRAVIS: Well, of course, it'd be my pleasure! Shall we?

MARISHA: I peg leg behind. (stomping)

MATT: You guys begin to make your way up into the woods. At this point, I want to mention real fast we just hit $65k.

(cheering)

MATT: Which is fantastic. That is amazing so we're going to have a boss named, created with me and the community at some point in the near future to show up in Critical Role.

LAURA: Oh man!

MATT: If we hit $70k this special one-off, and what it's about to unveil as it continues, will be uploaded to geekandsundry.com by Friday. If we can hit $75k, it'll be uploaded by Wednesday. Also, we're going to be giving out a signed cast poster of the purple, no longer available, showdown poster.

TRAVIS: Those are like in the vault. They're very rare.

MATT: So we're going to sign that poster and give it away, since that is no longer available, if we hit $75k. So anyway.

LIAM: Welcome Vox Monica, I am Skizzbucket Tatertaint.

(laughter)

LAURA: Why do you keep calling them Vox Monica?

LIAM: Why not?

MATT: Don't give them any ideas.

LIAM: It's going to stick! It's the new hotness. Come on!

MATT: So as you guys step into the dark forest, the evening air has definitely consumed this area. You can hear the crickets in the distance chirping, and the occasional distant hooting of a night owl (owl hooting).

MARISHA: What does the moon look like?

MATT: You look up and the moon is a bright vibrant circular white. It looks to be--

MARISHA: So it's a full moon?

MATT: --close to full, or full. And that light is aiding you to get through some part of the forest as scattered as it is amongst the trees.

MARISHA: Would I have any occult knowledge about--

MATT: Make an occult check, knowledge/occult.

MARISHA: --the moon, and maybe things come out at the moon times?

LIAM: (accented) That is a moon.

MARISHA: (accented) That is a moon in the skies.

(dice hitting the floor)

MARISHA: Oh noes.

LIAM: Fail.

MARISHA: Oh it was a four, can I keep it? You're not going to let me keep it.

MATT: On the table.

MARISHA: Three. I'm going to spend a blue to add a d6, right?

MATT: Yep, thank you.

MARISHA: Ooh, and a four. So seven!

MATT: Yes, a full moon's particular furry beasts with the nasty teeth, various forms of lycanthropy are affected at this point in time. Based on the information that these attacks happened every few weeks, and the cycle of the lunar cycle, you gather there's probably a very good chance that this beast that's been seen multiple times is some sort of a shapeshifter.

MARISHA: The full moon, it has mystical powers. I'd watch out for any type of lycanthropy in the area.

LAURA: What the fuck is lycanthropy?

MARISHA: You goods? You've had those hiccups for--

LIAM: (spits) Ugh.

LAURA: What did you eat, son?

LIAM: I don't know what happened last night.

MARISHA: You shouldn't eat from the traveling street carts. Those are bad.

LIAM: I have a lot of praying to do.

TRAVIS: Would you pray for me as well? It burns when I pee. I think it might have had something to do with last night.

MARISHA: Did you also eat from the travelling street cart?

TRAVIS: No.

MARISHA: Don't eat from food trucks!

TRAVIS: Oh, okay!

MATT: A couple of things. One, ladies, red chips.

LAURA: Yeah!

TRAVIS: Just the ladies?

LIAM: I sneaked it. It's mine!

MARISHA: You fucking--

MATT: The men get black chips.

TRAVIS: Oh good! At least I have one more now.

MARISHA: What? Well, that's fine.

TRAVIS: I have two chips. Two chips! Just saying!

MATT: Roll a smarts check if you could, Sudeis.

MARISHA: Just straight smarts?

MATT: Yes.

LIAM: (accented) Smart check.

MATT: Add to the d6 as well, Let's see what you find.

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

LAURA: All right!

MARISHA: I'm going to re-roll. Do I re-roll both, or which one?

MATT: Just one, the big one.

MARISHA: The big one? That's not great. Ugh. Five!

MATT: Five, you add anything to it?

MARISHA: Don't bait me, Matthew Mercer. I know what you're doing.

MATT: You don't have to.

MARISHA: Trying to get me to use all my tokens.

MATT: You get more information if you--

TRAVIS: Yeah.

MARISHA: (growling) Yeah, the blue one.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: If you finish this game and you have chips on your table---

MARISHA: No wait. I don't want blue. I want a red.

LAURA: No! But no, with the red--

TRAVIS: It's already been done.

MARISHA: Oh, because he gets one, right?

LAURA: Do the blue, do the blue.

MARISHA: All right, I'll just use the blue. I already threw it to you.

MATT: Add your d6.

MARISHA: I would like a d6.

MATT: Like a d6.

MARISHA: Ooh, that's good, ten!

MATT: Ten! You do also recall, as you're putting these beats of information together: full moon, lycanthropy, seemingly rumours spreading wide you've heard of silver mines drying up or being purchased up.

MARISHA: You know there are certain things that really like silver when they're also lycanthropes.

LAURA: What the fuck is that word you're saying?

TRAVIS: Like, or don't like?

MARISHA: Like.

LAURA: Like.

MARISHA: I don't know, do I know things that might like silver?

MATT: People like silver.

MARISHA: I know certain things are afraid of silver.

MATT: Werewolves--

MARISHA: They hate silver.

MATT: For werewolves, lycanthropes, it's the only thing that can kill them.

TRAVIS: Thank you!

MARISHA: My immediate thought would be, if I was werewolf--

LAURA: There's a, wait. What are we talking about werewolves? I thought it was a bear?

MARISHA: That's what lycanthropes are, werewolves.

LAURA: Oh! I understand.

LIAM: Is that a thing that we would all know about in this--?

MATT: Folklore has heard stories and such, you've never encountered one. It's occasionally maybe heard of in fairy tales and such, times have been weird as of late.

MARISHA: If I was werewolf and had vulnerability to silver, I'd want to control all the silver. So...

LAURA: Oh.

MARISHA: That way no one can hurt me.

LAURA: So we got a big old wolf trying to quarantine off--

MARISHA: Or a bear, or it could be other beasts.

TRAVIS: Wait, wait, wait, didn't Swearengen say that Cy had bought all of the gold and silver mines? You don't think that Cy could be...

MATT: He didn't say that Cy did. He said that they'd been purchased up. Cy had lost a lot of money. He's worried that Hurst might be buying them up.

TRAVIS: Oh yes, George Hurst, actually.

MARISHA: I also saw Cy run very quickly right before the moon came out.

TRAVIS: Troubling.

MARISHA: Just saying.

TRAVIS: Troubling. Troubling thoughts.

MARISHA: I think we should keep an eye on Simon.

LAURA: Should we keep looking for a wolf then, or should we talk to these people in town that you think might be a wolf?

TRAVIS: I think George Hurst's establishment would be a good place to visit.

LIAM: Is our trail cold here?

MATT: You guys are deep in the forest. Where are you going? Are you heading towards--

MARISHA: If it's full moon then he's out in beast form. We have good chance of finding him in beast form.

MATT: Who wants to make a tracking check?

LAURA: I'll try.

TRAVIS: I would love to.

LAURA: But I don't got a thing.

TRAVIS: Is it tracking-- yeah, it's tracking.

LIAM: Can we all make a tracking check?

MATT: You can all make a tracking check, all unskilled I'm pretty sure.

LIAM: And then do we roll-- if you've got no skill in it, is it two d4s?

MATT: No, it's a d4 and a d6, and then minus two.

LAURA: Oh, I did it wrong.

MARISHA: So do you add the d4 and the d6 together?

MATT: No. You take the higher of the two.

LAURA: And if you get the top, you get to roll again?

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: Two!

MARISHA: Three.

TRAVIS: Six, four.

LAURA: 16.

MATT: Minus two, 14.

LAURA: 14.

TRAVIS: That was a good stack.

LAURA: That was.

MATT: So as you all are lost entirely in the middle of this forest, middle of the night, the moonlight the only thing that's giving you any sort of visual reference. All of a sudden, you Stinky Ja-- Stinky Jules!

(laughter)

LAURA: I wondered what you were going to call me there!

MATT: Stinky Jules, you look over and you see particularly little spats of blood, and larger beast tracks, recent ones that scale up this way. You begin to follow, and you guys follow behind Stinky Jules. You come over a ridge looking down to where a lot of the plots, a lot of the set claims are all set up the side and separated with flags and various markers and such. You can see a number of them have been closed and boarded up.

MARISHA: The mines?

TRAVIS: What do you see?

LAURA: Uh... a bunch of things have been boarded up. Can we take them down and go in the place?

MATT: If you want to, there's a number of ones you can go and check out.

TRAVIS: Not in the terribly condemned, haunted-looking--

LAURA: Why don't you lead the way, there, Syd?

TRAVIS: (high-pitched) Me?

LAURA: Yeah, you look like you're capable.

TRAVIS: Look, I've already got quite a bit of blood on my sleeve. I was not quite prepared for this. Maybe I could draw the outside of this establishment. I'll go, all right, fine.

LAURA: Yeah. All right.

TRAVIS: And I'll go up to the entrance of the mine?

MATT: It's a campsite that is currently abandoned, and it looks like it's been abandoned for a while. There are a number of wooden boards that are placed up against the entrance. You look around and you can see a bunch of leftover discarded mining materials and what looks like most of the remnants or the scraps that are left behind in one of the big mining carts that's currently outside-- make a notice check. This'd be investigation, make an investigation.

TRAVIS: Investigation, okay. Ooh, four.

LAURA: Ooh.

TRAVIS: Ooh, five! I'll take the five.

MATT: You glance around and look inside this and look around the exterior of it. The dust around here is silver specifically in nature. This is a silver mine.

TRAVIS: My fellows, this appears to be a silver mine. Crazy.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: Right. Should we look inside the mine?

LIAM: Yeah, whatever this thing is a scourge.

LAURA: Do we see tracks of a beast around?

MATT: The beast tracks faded once it got over the ridge and went down to the claim area, so...

LAURA: What about this little bear cub that we got with us. Does he smell anything around?

MATT: (laughs) I'll roll for the bear cub. Bear cub kind of (sniffing), (cute growl) kind of leans up against you.

LAURA: Tell you what, he's useless, but he sure is damn cute.

TRAVIS: Yes, he is.

MARISHA: I still say we use him as bait.

LIAM: Also, I don't understand. Are we saying that silver is a danger to these creatures? Is that what you're implying? Why would he have run into the middle of a silver mine?

MARISHA: Probably wouldn't have.

TRAVIS: Unless he was wounded by the gun that poor late Charlie was holding.

LIAM: It doesn't make sense, if silver is a bane to these creatures it wouldn't have run right into the heart of it.

TRAVIS: It must be empty, then. Stinky Jane, um, Jules. Why don't you take a look inside?

LAURA: All right. I go and look inside the mine.

MATT: Okay, so you pry open some of the board--

LAURA: Yeah, pull back some of that wood.

MATT: The air is dry and musty in there. You get a few feet in and it's pitch black. There's no light.

LAURA: Do we got any sort of-- I've got some matches.

TRAVIS: I do too!

MARISHA: I've got a lantern.

LAURA: Oh! Hey, who's got a lantern?

MARISHA: I come in with a lantern.

TRAVIS: Lead the way. I'm sure it's totally empty. I'm right behind you.

LIAM: I'm going to walk behind.

MARISHA: Come on, Jules.

LAURA: All right.

MARISHA: The ladies are leading the way. What do we see?

MATT: You guys glance inside. You walk about 20, 30 feet into the mine before it opens into two different paths. But immediate at a glance, as--

LAURA: I'm holding my hand above my pistol.

MATT: Okay. You look down both sides of the split Y formation deep into this mine, and you can see areas that have been heavily mined. But the thing that catches your attention is, for being boarded up and abandoned, there's still a lot of apparent silver veins in the walls that are in the middle of being mined before they were left behind. You see visible veins, even this quickly in.

LAURA: Looks like somebody's trying to--

LIAM: (hiccups and spits)

LAURA: Watch them feathers. Somebody's trying to keep people from getting this silver.

LIAM: Chat loves a serial killer.

LAURA: What?

TRAVIS: I take offence to that, good sir.

MARISHA: So they bought the mine simply to--

LAURA and MARISHA: Shut it down.

MARISHA: Da.

LAURA: We should get some of that silver though.

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

MARISHA: All right.

TRAVIS: Should we explore, perhaps see if anything was left behind?

LAURA: Well, I see some silver's left behind. And I try to get some.

MARISHA: We should probably get silver-- yeah. Can we get some silver pieces?

MATT: Yeah, and actually it takes you about half an hour or so, but you manage to scrounge up some decent chunks of silver. Probably about five pounds' worth, which is quite a bit.

LAURA: I don't want to cart around that much. I'm going to take about a pound of it. Stick it in my shirt.

MARISHA: I'll take the other four pounds.

LAURA: All right.

MATT: (laughs) All right.

LAURA: What's wrong with your damn wrist?

TRAVIS: It-- it does pulse quite a bit.

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

LAURA: All right, give it to me. I'll take a look at it again.

TRAVIS: I'm quite thirsty too. I have a bit of cottonmouth going on.

LAURA: I'll just keep on pushing.

TRAVIS: (pained) Motherfuck-- I would appreciate it if you didn't quite press on it quite that hard.

LAURA: Something's weird with this guy.

LIAM: Is there any hair coming out of that hand?

MATT: Nope, not that you can see. Make a notice check.

LIAM: Okay. Uh, no idea what that is. What do I roll?

MARISHA: 1d4.

LAURA: And then minus two.

MATT: You're not very good at noticing things. You're a faithful man. You take faith--

LIAM: All right, three plus--

MATT: The d6 to see which is higher.

LAURA: Yeah, you also roll a d6.

LIAM: Thanks man. Five minus two is three. And I'm going to waste a blue. So that's a three plus two is five.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: I'll settle at five.

TRAVIS: Toss that blue. Send it flying.

MATT: Best you can tell, based on the wound, it's a mild wound. It's a little swollen. It seems to be fine, but no other visual effect than that.

TRAVIS: (pants) It's so hot in here, isn't it? I do feel perhaps it's the lantern (pants) and I'll actually take off the outer coat and really just roll up the shirt.

MATT: Big pit stains.

LIAM: Are you sure you don't want a poultice on that?

LAURA: Do you want to hold some of that silver?

LIAM: It's really a simple thing for me to do, to wrap some mud and some water.

TRAVIS: I feel like I'm earning my marks. I'm quite proud.

MATT: You hear from the far, far depths of the mine--

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

MATT: A faint sound going, not "All right".

(laughter)

MATT: It goes, (creepy exhale).

LAURA: Oh shit.

MATT: A deep echoing exhale from deeper in the mine.

TRAVIS: Oh no. Um. I don't suppose any of you had gas, just then?

LAURA: Well, I did, but it's usually silent.

MATT: (creepy exhale) It's still a ways away, but it's getting slowly louder.

LAURA: What the fuck is that?

TRAVIS: Uh, hello?

MARISHA: We should go deeper.

LAURA: I bet that thing's in here!

TRAVIS: What thing? No!

LIAM: Well, we have to make a choice. We either go in now, stop it from escaping, if it's our killer. Or go back for reinforcements.

LAURA: Let's go kill it!

TRAVIS: Yes, but could we take a moment to consider that it was boarded up?

LAURA: I want to go kill it.

LIAM: I take out my crucifix and lead the way.

LAURA: Yeah! Let's go.

MARISHA: Before we walk off I go, Sydney, catch! And I toss him a piece of silver.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: Oh! Thank you. What is this for?

MARISHA: Just...

TRAVIS: Last night? Yes, jolly good!

MARISHA: I thought it'd be good if we all had some.

MATT: All right, you guys begin to curl around the left side where the sound's coming from, and as you come into a larger mining chamber--

LAURA: I'm holding up silver and I got my hand on my pistol.

MATT: You see--

MARISHA: I've got the lantern.

MATT: --not a furry creature. As your lantern passes by, all of a sudden it catches a darker shadowed shape that looks like a human but with a larger head than normal. Its body is black and bulbous and it looks almost shiny like it's covered in oil, but that's its natural form. It glances over real fast and its eyes glow as it flashes in the light and (hisses) it scatters out of the light--

LAURA: Ugh, I shoot it!

MATT: --into a far corner. You're going to shoot it?

LAURA: Yeah!

MATT: All right, go ahead and make your shooting skill check.

LIAM: Are her bullets still smited?

MATT: No, the smite only lasts for a few rounds.

LIAM: God damn it!

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: I mean, God bless it!

(laughter)

LAURA: What do I roll for this?

LIAM: You're asking me?

LAURA: What's R.O.F? Is that what I roll-- a six? Do I roll a d6?

MATT: You do.

LAURA: Okay.

LIAM: 2d-- oh, that's the damage.

LAURA: I'm going to re-roll.

MATT: d6 on your shooting? Your shooting is a d10, I think.

LAURA: Oh shit! Awesome.

MATT: Look where it is. I think it's pretty high.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it's a d10.

LAURA: Okay. All right.

MATT: And what was the d6?

LAURA: It was uh-- oh, a d6. I didn't--

MATT: Yeah, as well with that one.

LAURA: So that was a nine total.

MATT: What's the lower of the two?

LAURA: The lower of the two is a four. So it adds to eight.

MATT: Right, as the bear-- is this you re-rolling?

LAURA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah, she wanted to re-roll the trait die.

MATT: Okay, got you. And the six was a four?

LAURA: Yes.

MATT: Okay, so the bear, thinking that you're its mother and sees suddenly the fear, runs to your side and clings to you and in doing so disables your shot, and you have to go with the lower strike on that one.

LAURA: Damn it!

MATT: But you do get a black chip from that one.

LAURA: Well, that's good. Hand it over.

MATT: And the bear is heavily-- Blue chip to you Liam.

LIAM: Oh my god, that was your boob.

MARISHA: I'm great, it was my knee. My knee deflected.

MATT: The bear is shaking against you and making it harder to shoot. The gun ricochets off the far back wall, sparking across the stone.

LAURA: I'm pushing the bear off my leg.

MATT: And you hear once again (creepy breathing).

TRAVIS: I said that's supposed to be mine!

MATT: Heavy breathing. I'll have you guys go ahead and each draw a card at random from your deck.

LAURA: Oh jeez. Okay.

LIAM: Shuffle one more time.

LAURA: You're going to shuffle it?

LIAM: Hey, question, way earlier in the game, as I shuffle my cards, you said that I gained two miracle points back. It's been a while. Do I, or do I not?

MATT: You gain one more back, so you've gained three total of what you've used.

LIAM: So, say that last bit again? Because I thought I was down to one, so if you're giving me one, now I have two?

TRAVIS: Ladies first. Pick a card.

MATT: You've cast three miracles, correct?

LIAM: Oh Jesus, I don't know. I was marking it down and, before I asked you that question, I was at one point.

MATT: How did you get one point? How much do your miracles cost?

LIAM: I did a lot of shit, man! I thought it was two a miracle.

MATT: It should say on them. Then yeah--

LIAM: I healed a couple of people. I smited her bullets.

MATT: Right. So that would be--

LIAM: Three?

MATT: Three uses. Four uses, but you've regained three. So you would have been at two, to five.

LIAM: So I'm at five now?

MATT: You're at five now.

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: Wow. Did you pull a card?

LIAM: I did not. I'm going to pull this one.

LAURA: Oh Jesus, really?!

MARISHA: Son of a bitch!

LAURA: Do you see what just happened, with the three of these?

MATT: Wow, that's great! Great! And what do you have Laura? A jack. Okay. First things first. As you were not quite fast enough--

MARISHA: Can we use fate chips to redraw cards?

MATT: Nope! (chuckles)

MARISHA: Fucking fuck!

MATT: This strange creature who's keeping in the shadows just outside your lantern-light, you hear the (rasping growl), and it lunges out at you, being the closest to it. It swoops out towards you. You can see it's bulbous, it's only about three feet tall in its size, but its larger head is awful-looking and it's just a terrible-looking thing, large saucers for its face. It strikes out towards you with two of its claws. I want you all to go ahead and roll a guts roll, by the way.

LAURA: Guts roll. Oh, jeez.

MATT: Minus one.

LAURA: Man, come on. I'm rerolling, just in case. Oh, sorry, I should warn you.

MATT: I'm going to reroll that.

MARISHA: No. I'm going to spend a fate chip to counter your reroll.

MATT: Okay. I'll use another one to reroll.

TRAVIS: I'm going to add one to mine.

LIAM: I'm adding.

LAURA: All right, all right, I'm going to add one too. I'm going to use my blue and add it.

MARISHA: Running out of fate chips.

MATT: All right, so what do you got?

MARISHA: Three on my guts.

LIAM: Nine.

TRAVIS: Five.

LAURA: Eight.

MATT: All right. You, everyone else has managed to take this back. You are finding yourself shaken from the perspective of this, and you're now holding the lantern. There's not much else you can do at this moment. When it comes to your turn, you'll have to see if you can reveal that. However, it does swipe out at you. That's going to be-- so, what is your parry?

LAURA: Five.

MATT: It rolled a six. It hits you, it strikes out. You go ahead and suffer, from that, that's going to be-- I'm going to go ahead and add a d6 to that.

MARISHA: What did you use?

MATT: It was black. All right, that would be eight points of damage. What's your toughness?

LAURA: Five.

MATT: Five. You are shaken right now as it strikes out at you, and strikes its claw across your front. You manage to pull it off, and it just barely cuts the skin, but it's enough to freak you out at the moment. That ends its turn. And then you're up next, actually. At the top of your turn, go ahead and make a spirit check to try and regain your composure.

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

LAURA: All right, I will! Ooh, yes. Nine.

MATT: Nine? All right. Black chip here. You shake it off, you're no longer shaken, but that's all you can really do this turn, as you go ahead and try and steady yourself and start going for your gun now to pull it out. I'll say you can pull your gun out for this turn as well. All right. The rest of you guys, now, you go ahead and see if you can make a spirit check to not be shaken.

MARISHA: Just roll a d6? 2d6.

MATT: It would be 2d6 for anything you roll as a trained check, so yeah.

MARISHA: Ooh, six. Seven, total.

MATT: So you're no longer shaken. That's the end of your turn. You guys, what do you want to do?

TRAVIS: Go ahead, Father.

LIAM: I want to stab this thing with my crucifix.

MATT: Go for it. So go ahead and roll fighting.

LIAM: Okay, so-- oh, I do have skill in that. So it's a d4 and a d6? Okay. Four and a four, and I'm going to give you a red-- no, I'm going to use a blue chip and add to that for eight.

MATT: Eight, okay. Versus its-- all right, so two damage. It is now shaken.

LIAM: You are not welcome here!

MATT: As you slam it with the crucifix, (shrieks), it shrieks back in this high-pitched wail and begins to push back into the shadows away from you. But not far enough away to go ahead and give you a secondary melee attack against it, so it's right in your face, out of the line of the lantern. All right, that brings it to you, Travis.

TRAVIS: I kneel down and I say, oh! Look, a weapon! And I pull out of my boot a bowie knife, and I would like to rush the creature.

MATT: Go for it.

LIAM: I really admire you.

TRAVIS: Oh shit, what do I roll?

MATT: This would be fighting.

LIAM: (Sydney voice) There seems to be a railgun over here.

TRAVIS: Nine.

MATT: A d8. Has to be max die.

TRAVIS: Oh, that's right, sorry. That was d6, for a four. So let me add--

LAURA: That's a reroll.

TRAVIS: Oh, fuck, balls, ass. Okay, well, let's try it. That was worse.

MATT: Which of the two?

TRAVIS: The six.

MATT: Six. Six does hit. Go ahead and roll your damage. So 2d4 plus two.

TRAVIS: One. Three. Five. A total of five.

MATT: Toughness of six. You go ahead and strike with the dagger, and as you hit its hide, it scrapes in, but does not appear to leave a wound, its somewhat crackled, black, shadowy form absorbing most of the impact of the blow, and it turns and hisses at you, its horrible, small, baby-like mouth filled with layers of sharp teeth. All right, your turn back, we're back at the top of the round. It goes back. It's now going to lash out at you, Sydney. It's going to go ahead and make its strike at you. I'm going to go ahead and add six to that. That is-- that's going to be a ten. What's your parry?

TRAVIS: Six.

MATT: Six, okay. So it does hit you. It is not a raise, so it doesn't get the additional d6 damage. I will spend another blue chip to go ahead and add a d6 to the damage it's already doing.

MARISHA: Blue chips, I don't have any blue chips to counter.

MATT: All right, that's going to be 11. What's your toughness?

TRAVIS: Five.

MATT: Five, that is six points of damage to you, so that is considered a raise, so you actually are shaken and you take a wound. You are actually wounded. The creature leaps out and jams its claws into your side and bites into your throat. You freak out and push it back. It doesn't manage to pull anything free, but it does leave these giant bite marks on the side.

TRAVIS: I'm leaking. (yelps) Please! Help me!

MATT: All right, you're up, Stinky Jules.

LAURA: All right. I want to shoot it a whole bunch of times. I'm going to fan my hammer.

MATT: Okay. All right. So your gun's already out. You're going to go ahead and take all six rounds on it, at minus two.

LAURA: Yeah, let's do it. I have no idea how that--

MATT: Make your shooting roll six times, minus two for each roll.

LAURA: Okay, so that's just a six?

MATT: Whatever your shooting is. Shooting is a d10. You're really good at shooting.

MARISHA: Hey, that's good! Same thing, yeah, do it. Nice!

LAURA: Or wait, I'm going to reroll the third one. So I got eight on the first two, so that's six for the first two, and then I'm going to reroll the third.

MATT: They both hit, all right.

LAURA: That's five on the third hit.

MATT: Okay, roll the next three.

LAURA: I'm rerolling this one. Four on the fourth. Six on the fifth. Rerolling on the sixth one. Sorry. Oh shit, off the table. And six on the last one.

MATT: You guys watch as there's a series of flashes in the center of this room as Stinky Jules unloads an entire fully loaded gun into this creature. Go ahead and roll damage for each of them.

LAURA: Oh my gosh. So did I hit every single time?

MATT: Every single one hit. So roll 2d6 for the first shot.

LIAM: Jeepers.

LAURA: Six plus one is seven for the first.

MATT: All right, so it is-- all right, next one.

LAURA: Seven for the second.

MATT: All right, next one.

LAURA: Ooh! (gasps) 19. Oh my gosh. 24 on the next.

MATT: So before you get to the rest of the shots, you, just screaming, echoing, you unload as this creature turns around and its face gets shredded by a hail of bullets from your gun. As it slumps to the ground and turns to ash and shadow before dissipating with a (sizzling) sound, you're still--

LIAM: Ease down. Ease down. It's dead.

LAURA: What the fuck was that thing? What's up, Lucas?

MATT: We have ten minutes left on this game to go ahead and get to $70,000, guys.

LAURA: How close are we?

MATT: How close are we?

OFF-SCREEN: We're at about $68,000.

TRAVIS: $68,000, just $2,000 away!

MATT: All right, so.

LAURA: I used so many of my chips on that one!

OFF-SCREEN: We're only at $67,000.

LAURA: Oh, $67,000.

MATT: So, after the creature's down, you spend a while searching the mine. Nothing else of this type seems to be down here. As you make your way outside of the mine, you glance and see what looks to be in the distance about four individuals running away who seem to have been tracking you. You see them run towards a distant place, into the shadows--

MARISHA: How far away are they?

MATT: About, at this point? 200 feet or so.

MARISHA: Still far enough away to where I can shout at them?

MATT: It's up to you.

MARISHA: Sudis will shout, if you run, only death will come and find you, and I'm going to attempt to try and shaken them.

MATT: Okay, go ahead and make a persuasion roll.

LAURA: I'm going to reload my gun while we're leaving the place.

LIAM: I'm going to bless her bullets.

MARISHA: Ooh, I rolled an eight with a five, so that's 13 plus two. 15.

MATT: All righty. You watch as most of them run away and one gentleman stops and turns around. "Death? I don't want death to follow me!" At which point, suddenly, you watch as a large cougar leaps out and just tears his throat out and starts chewing into his corpse.

LIAM: How did you do that?

MARISHA: I told you. I told you.

LAURA: A large cougar?

TRAVIS: That's a big fucking cat.

LAURA: Should we shoot it?

MATT: It's large for a cougar, but it's not quite what you were looking for.

LAURA: Okay, all right.

TRAVIS: I mean, there are three of them left, right?

MATT: But they've all run into the forest. You guys have options now. You have some silver at your disposal. You have-- hmm, okay. You have silver at your disposal, you know some entity's out there right now. What are you going to do?

LAURA: Find the fucking entity. We should kill it. We should kill it while we're on the hunt, I mean, we're ahead of it.

LIAM: Right, but that thing you just killed, that's not what we were following. We need to press on.

LAURA: Right, but we can find-- what?

MARISHA: Should we chase after people who were following us? Or should we maybe check other silver mines?

TRAVIS: (low voice) I think-- (normal voice) I think we kill the motherfuckers. We chase them down.

MARISHA: The accent's already rubbing off on you.

TRAVIS: I'm sorry. I'm losing quite a bit of blood. Reverend, if you would be so kind.

LIAM: It's going to take me a couple of minutes.

LAURA: Can I walk up to him and just punch him in the gut?

MATT: Sure.

TRAVIS: (grunts) (low voice) You fucking bitch! And I hit her back.

MATT: Smack across the face. You feel the pain and sting on the side of your cheek.

LAURA: What the fuck are you?

TRAVIS: I'm terribly sorry, I have quite the temper.

LAURA: What's going on with you?

TRAVIS: I'm bleeding from the throat.

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

(laughter)

TRAVIS: Please--

LAURA: Are you the monster we're looking for? I take out the silver and I push it on this face.

MATT: It does nothing.

LAURA: I take it and I push it on his hand.

TRAVIS: Besides the pressure, it's doing nothing, my dear.

MATT: You watch, at this point, as stepping out of the sunlight you see E.B. Farnum walking out with his hat. He goes, "They're right there." And he turns away to the side, and you see stepping out as well the gentleman Simon you met earlier and a few other individuals. You see, holding a couple of guns trained on you, standing in the center, Cy Tolliver. You see him step out. His outfit is shredded. He's like, "If you guys had all just decided to not go poking where it didn't belong--"

LIAM: We can handle this peacefully! Stinky, put your gun down. And I bless her bullets.

MATT: All right. Go ahead and make a faith check. We just hit $70,000, guys.

(cheering)

LAURA: Good job, guys!

LIAM: I'm going to add to that with a red, so it's six plus two is eight.

MATT: Eight. That is a single raise, so you do plus four damage for the next three rounds.

LAURA: Awesome!

MATT: All right. We shall see now at this point. So, at this point, I want you guys all to pick a card, see where you're at.

TRAVIS: Don't even need to shuffle it.

LAURA: I'm going to choose the one second to the left. Oh, he's shuffling, I saw the king.

LIAM: This one's the good one on top. Five of clubs.

LAURA: Did we get a straight? What'd you get?

TRAVIS: Nine.

MARISHA: Four.

LAURA: Aw, so close.

LIAM: Mediocre as hell.

MATT: Immediately, at the top of this round, you have the nine. You watch as, as you're preparing yourself for this moment, Cy hits the ground on all fours, shirt begins to tear, his fur bursts out of his back, and all of a sudden his mouth extends, teeth and it seems like an endless supply of saliva dripping onto the ground. (roars) You're up first.

TRAVIS: Well, once more into the (deep voice) fucking breach. I throw both bowie knives that I have in my sleeves, and I tear after him, just run at him, both knives out.

MATT: You get right into his area. Go ahead and roll. Are you going to attack with both of them? So two attacks at minus two each.

LIAM: You're still skinny as fuck, though, right? (high-pitched battle cry)

TRAVIS: Matt, I'm going to reroll this one. I'll leave that there. Okay, so that's six. And I would like to add a blue chip.

MATT: Okay, here, have one back. Everybody gets a blue chip.

(cheering)

MARISHA: Yeah, to whoever did that.

LAURA: Thanks, guys!

TRAVIS: Can I add more than one chip to a roll?

MATT: For right now? Sure.

TRAVIS: I can send it back.

MATT: Blue chip to Marisha and a red chip to Travis.

TRAVIS: So that's 16 total.

MATT: One of each to Marisha.

LIAM: Opa, opa, opa.

MATT: Travis, what are you doing? 16 total for the first hit? Okay.

TRAVIS: Well, actually, I thought I was just doing one, so. Hey, I guess I did all that on the first hit.

MATT: So that definitely hits. Go ahead and roll damage with an additional d6.

TRAVIS: Okay, an additional d6. Six. Ten.

MATT: Ten. All righty. You go ahead and strike down with the blade, jamming it across the front of the werewolf's form. It roars, you can see the exposed wound in itself. It seems to be taken aback and shaken, but nothing directly beyond that.

TRAVIS: My second bowie knife.

MATT: Go for it. The small bear named Trinket, by the way, just begins to slowly hump your leg, distracting you momentarily.

LAURA: What? Why the fuck?

TRAVIS: That was a five. That's nine.

MATT: Nine. Black chip to Laura. Inspired, apparently, by the small bear coming to adolescence. That hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

TRAVIS: I'm going to reroll that. That was short. I can't believe I shorted it. That was even worse. That was a one.

MATT: Total one. With the plus two?

TRAVIS: Oh, with the plus two is three.

MATT: Three. This one strikes through. Does nothing. You can see it hits the flesh and tears across, not able to pierce the outside of this hardened werewolf exterior. All right, ending your turn, anyone have five or lower?

LIAM: I had a five.

MATT: All right, you and the wolf go at the same time.

LAURA: Did Trinket humping me make me not get to go?

MATT: Oh, you had an eight. Okay, sorry, so you're going next.

LAURA: Hah! I want to shoot it. I'm going to shoot the werewolf bear creature. All right.

LIAM: You fucking smell like balls.

LAURA: I do. I'm going to fan my hammer again, man. I'm going to reroll the first one.

LIAM: They're blessed, they're blessed! Plus four to--

LAURA: That's seven. Oh, so three on the first hit, which probably doesn't hit.

MATT: Three misses.

LAURA: Ooh, that's good.

MARISHA: Big money, no whammies, yeah! Go, Laura, go!

LAURA: So eight, eight, nine on the next ones. Nine on the one after that, so I've got one more. Nine-- no, that's a six, damn it.

MATT: Five hit.

LAURA: Okay. All right.

LIAM: Plus four on the damage.

DONATION PROMPT: All right!

LIAM: That's what I said.

LAURA: 12 plus five is 17, plus five, actually. 17 plus five is 22 on the first one. 11 on the second one. 11 on the third. 18 on the next one. Oh my god. 15, no, 17 on the next one. Do I get one more hit? Eight on the last one.

MATT: All right. You unload, bullets blasting into the werewolf's body. You see it seems like almost none of the wounds have slowed it down.

LAURA: Oh my god. I'm going to reload.

MATT: You reload your weapon with your quick reload. All right, ending your turn, now it's your go.

LAURA: I'm going to back away from it, too.

LIAM: I want to bless the crucifix that I'm holding and attack, which I can do, right? Does that work?

MATT: Yeah. It'll be minus two to your attacks. That's to Marisha, actually.

LAURA: Damn, Marisha.

MARISHA: Are we trying to end the game at one minute?

LIAM: So five is what I roll for that--

LAURA: Wait, we don't get to finish the game?

MATT: We'll finish it, don't worry.

LIAM: All right, eight on the faith. And then the attack is what gets gunked, right? Four minus two, plus four, so six for the stab to the eye.

MATT: You swing, and it actually grabs your hand, catches it in the air, pulls you right in towards its jaws. What are you doing?

MARISHA: I'm going to start walking up to it, and I'm going to say, tonight is the night that you die, and I'm going to attempt to shaken it with my persuasion thing.

LIAM: (hiccups)

MARISHA: Because I have it, this I get to just add a d6 to the roll, right? Fucking fuck. Ooh, 11 plus another five, so that's 16.

MATT: 16, okay. As you say this to the wolf, who's holding the preacher in his face, it appears to be still in the same shaken state that it was previously, its eyes darting around.

MARISHA: How far away am I from it?

MATT: You're about 30 feet.

MARISHA: Can I walk up to it and make it?

MATT: What's your speed?

MARISHA: 20 paces.

MATT: Nope. Peg leg. You're getting closer, but not close enough.

MARISHA: You're going to die.

MATT: As you finish that, E.B. Farnum pulls out his gun, with the other two guys who have their pistols ready, and they unload upon you guys.

LAURA: Oh shit. Is there anything to duck behind? Probably should've done that.

MATT: Okay. That's a hit to you from E.B., who says, "I like my hat better!" That's going to be an eight. Nine. What's your toughness?

TRAVIS: Five.

MATT: Yeah, so that's going to be four over. That's a raise. You take a wound, which you haven't been healed since the last one, have you? So you're now at two wounds. Oh wait, that was a raise, 'cause you were already shaken, so that's three wounds. You go right down. You just get shot in the chest and fall to the ground, and you're bleeding out now.

TRAVIS: (deep voice) Well, ain't that some fucking shit.

MATT: The two other gunmen go ahead and start firing at you and you, being the scariest ones at that. That's going to be, yeah, with the range here. You get hit, and you, I'm going to go ahead and add six to that.

MARISHA: No, you're not!

LIAM: Uncanny Dodge.

MARISHA: No.

MATT: Okay. Add another six to that.

MARISHA: That a red? Is not in the cards for you, my friend.

TRAVIS: Or we could get a good ending.

MATT: So the other shot towards you does not hit you. You, however, do suffer-- that's going to be 14 points of damage. What's your toughness?

MARISHA: Four.

MATT: Yeah, so you're shaken and you take a wound. You now see Simon from earlier pulls out a deck of cards before him, and you see this sparkle of bluish energy across his fingers as he goes ahead and attempts to release a torrent of beams.

LAURA: I think you suffer two wounds.

MARISHA: Two wounds or just one wound?

TRAVIS: Two wounds, because you went ten over.

LAURA: Yeah, she went ten over.

MATT: Oh yeah. You were already shaken before, weren't you?

MARISHA: No. I shook it off.

MATT: Shaken and then a wound. You're fine. However, each of you guys. Hits, hits, you're already on the ground. Each of you guys-- what are your toughnesses?

LAURA: Five.

MARISHA: This is Simon doing this? Is he shaken, though?

MATT: Simon wasn't shaken. The werewolf is.

LIAM: Bring us home, Marshal, bring us home.

MATT: So that's going to be a second wound for you. That's going to be six. What's your toughness? Five. So you are shaken, now. Against you, that's going to be six. What's your toughness?

LAURA: Five.

MATT: You're already shaken? You are shaken now. So, given the circumstances, as they are, you have no silver weapons and no silver bullets. The fight presses on for a few more minutes as you all do the best you can to combat this overwhelming source, but the perpetual spray of bullets in your direction eventually puts most of you onto the ground. And as the wolf tears into your face, Stinky Jules, you scream out as the jaws of Cy Tolliver, now extended into white and bloodied fangs, rips the face from your body, taking out your jugular. You freak out, E.B. Farnum manages to get a crack shot that takes off the top half of your head. You--

LIAM: Thank you, Lord, for letting me sleep with two women and a man.

(laughter)

MATT: You hear a familiar voice in the back of your head go, "Yes. You followed the right path." And you feel this crackling of flames over your shoulders before-- as now you realize that this voice indeed was not leading you down the right way.

LIAM: No shit.

LAURA: What about Trinket? Is he alive?

MATT: Trinket's over your body now as the werewolf has let it alone.

LAURA: Humping?

MATT: And is just humping your knee as you bleed out. It's horrible. Time limits.

LIAM: Wait, flames on my back? What?

MATT: You feel flames on your back, knowing that this entity that's been whispering into your head is not from your deity. However, the werewolf walks over, grabs you by the arm, and lifts you back onto your feet. Turns back toward you, the preacher, and goes, "Do what you're meant to do. Cy commands it." You watch as the visage of the fantastic Sydney dissipates, and in his place, now standing before you instead, is a humanoid cat-like tiger creature with two backwards hands.

(laughter)

LIAM: Thanks, chat!

MARISHA: Thanks, chat. Thank you for that.

TRAVIS: Oh, I hated that fucking accent anyway. I want to see what you look like on the inside. And I shove a blade right under his belly button and open him up from bottom to top.

MATT: You pray as hard as you can to your deity, but the pain is too hard, but you can't help but scream out in horrible agony as you are gutted like a fish--

LIAM: We call him Jesus, but.

(laughter)

MATT: Yeah, there are multiple deities in this world.

LIAM: Hey, there's one god, clearly one god, clearly.

MATT: And he's helped you a lot tonight. As you are gutted in the full moonlight, you hear the chuckle of Cy Tolliver with his somewhat nervous allies, evening falling darker still on the future of Deadwood here, amongst the reckoning. You guys got wrecked.

TRAVIS: Yeah, Deadlands!

(cheering)

TRAVIS: I'm alive! Murdering another day.

LIAM: R-E-K-T, rekt.

MATT: That was rough. Yeah, going after it without the silver bullets or using the silver to armor up, there was no way.

LAURA: We didn't have time for it.

LIAM: Where's the silver bullets? We don't got a smelting machine.

MATT: Somebody to smelt it.

MARISHA: Well, we only had five minutes left in the stream.

TRAVIS: Oh, excuses, excuses, dead people.

LAURA: Man. That was a fun game. What did we get to?

OFF-SCREEN: Over $71,000.

(cheering)

OFF-SCREEN: We still have a little bit more stream going, just to end it off, so looking like if we get to $75,000, should we still give them the 75,000 goals that we had, including the--

TRAVIS: Absolutely. Yeah, 100%.

OFF-SCREEN: And they can commemorate this chat, because these are still available.

MATT: You guys did an amazing job. Thank you so much for tuning into this absolute chaos and adding to it.

MARISHA: And 100% of the proceeds from those shirts are going to the MDA.

LIAM: Thank you for donating. Thank you.

LAURA: You guys are amazing. Thanks for all the chips.

MARISHA: I wish I had a few more minutes to wreak havoc.

LAURA: I know, right?

MARISHA: Just a few more is all I needed.

MATT: You know what, you saved a few people in town. They'll probably inevitably be destroyed by the incursion of Cy Tolliver--

LAURA: Eventually, yeah.

MARISHA: That was fun.

MATT: This is a lot of spoilers for the Deadwood movie coming up, by the way. They have to compete with Supernatural and Walking Dead, so they're just throwing werewolves in.

LAURA: My throat hurts from talking like Stinky Jules the whole time. All right!

TRAVIS: Caught what she caught, huh?

MARISHA: What's happening now?

MATT: Nice, that's fantastic. You guys have raised such an incredible amount of money. Thank you so much for tuning in and being so generous and helping this amazing cause. We're going to go ahead and prep you guys for the next bit of entertainment closing up the rest of this charity stream. See if we can hit that 75k goal. That would be incredible. Thank you for making my first foray into the chaos of Savage Worlds what it was, though I'm pretty sure it usually doesn't involve so many fate chips and a lot of-- there was a lot of intrigue we didn't hear that just got thrown out the window as soon as shit started happening. That's okay. That's the nature of these wonderful games. Guys, thank you so much. We're going to go ahead and clean up here and prepare for your next performance, and yeah. We'll see you guys-- you'll see these guys this coming Thursday, and me and Marisha will see you the following Thursday for the next episode of Critical Role. Lots of love, guys.

TRAVIS: Thank you!