The Adventures of the Darrington Brigade

is the forty-ninth special episode of Critical Role. Taryon Darrington leads a troupe of unlikely miscreants through a dangerous journey in search of glory.

Pre-Show

 * Brian plays bad cop and lays down The Rules for the live audience, then introduces the cast.
 * Sam officially pledges his eternal loyalty to the Dallas Cowboys.
 * Thanks to Eldritch Foundry for creating many of the miniatures for tonight, and also to Steamforged, who created the Taryon and Doty miniatures, and to Aviv Or, who created the character art.
 * Critical Role Karaoke!

Previously
''So: the year is 826 P.D., Post Divergence, just over a decade since Vecna's ascension and subsequent banishing by the famed group of legendary heroes, Vox Machina. While the echoes of their deeds slowly settle over the years, life continues on. Taryon Darrington, a heroic crafter of arcane implements and member of the aforementioned Vox Machina, returned to his home in Wildemount, reclaimed the family business, and converted their estate into a shelter for the poor of Deastok. Along with the help of his husband Lawrence, Taryon created the Darrington Brigade, a non-profit adventuring troupe for hire, seeking to bravely tackle the dangers of Wildemount and to help those in need. They also have three rescue dogs.''

''Even with the release of the first edition of "The Daring Trials and Tribulations of Sir Taryon Darrington," the years have not been without their challenges. Many of the affluent folks of the Truscan Vale treat this bold new direction of the Darrington family with ridicule, making support for their charitable endeavors an uphill battle, while many capable adventurers who joined the brigade began to bristle at the idea of putting their lives on the line for a "non-profit" troupe. That said, the supposed arrests of high-ranking Myriad leaders and the following dispersing of the criminal organization in the Empire still leaves much mistrust and rumor-mongering. Whispers of a growing Xhorhasian threat begin to stoke worry in civilized spaces. In this wake, the need for mercenaries slowly grows, and Taryon has begun putting out flyers across the Marrow Valley, seeking new recruits for this Darrington Brigade, promising adventure, glory, and stories to tell, much like those you can find in a copy of his book, "The Daring Trials and Tribulations of Sir Taryon Darrington."''

''Now you, the rest of you, have all arrived separately, piecemeal, to the city of Deastok, a smaller, yet quaint, seemingly wealthy borough within the Truscan Vale of the Empire. You enter past the perimeter walls known as the Jeweled Gates as the afternoon sun peeks through the cloud-dappled sky. You walk through the bustling Bursar Plaza filled with quaint shops and bistros, beyond the curling parks of the Garden Grounds, to finally come upon the estate of the Darrington family. Tall gates surround what might have once been beautifully tended gardens and hedges, now leveled to house the rather cramped training grounds, filled with wooden dummies and an open sand pit. The home itself is a beautiful mansion. Although it appears that there's some minor construction on the second floor, the construction appears to be abandoned for the time. You begin to gather, these strange faces, at the gates, before a loud voice suddenly breaks through, catching your attention. "Tary? We have guests!" You look to see a man's head poking through the door and it quickly closes. You have a moment amongst yourselves, if you'd like to talk for a moment.''

Part I
Taryon greets the group gathering at the gate, accompanied by Doty and Lawrence, and asks them to introduce themselves. They are:
 * The Owlbear - fighting Evil while wearing an owlbear cowl
 * Farriwen Breeze - coming from a monastery for training and treasure
 * Hazel Copperpot - a dwarven one-woman band who's read all Tary's books and plays a pre-recorded audiobook sample of one. She wants to become his biographer, worrying Doty.
 * Damian Vadoma - from an underworld family, she wants to try try something a little less immoral to see if she likes it
 * Buddy - a nine-foot tall ogre with horrible eyesight and a halfling on his back
 * Macaroni Samsonite - a high-voiced halfling riding on a board strapped to Buddy's back

Lionel Gayheart arrives, the backup field commander of the Brigade, who also speaks fluent Duck.

Taryon tells them that many members of the Brigade are currently on sabbatical, having found out the non-profit nature of the group, and therefore he's posted flyers around the continent seeking new members. The first step is the initiation. But first, they're provided with branded merchandise, including vision-corrective goggles and a strap-on chariot for Buddy, where Macaroni can ride in more comfort. They are led into a sand pit outside the training area. The initiation rite that Tary learned from Vox Machina consists of one-on-one combat.

First up is Owlbear vs. Farriwen. Farriwen uses her dope monk shit to knock out the Owlbear handily, and Tary says her chances look good. Next up is Hazel vs. Buddy. With his new ability to see, Buddy thinks Hazel's pretty and doesn't quite understand what's going on. Hazel successfully casts Confusion on him, but when he shrugs it off he pummels her. Tary offers that she can opt to end it, and because she made the whole pitch with his voice in it, she'll probably get in anyway, so she heals Buddy and The Owlbear and the fight ends as she and Buddy shake hands.

Last up is Macaroni vs. Damian. Macaroni is able to pummel her, and then successfully casts Banishment, ending their fight with a win for him, and Tary tells him both he and Buddy are in. Taryon then tearfully admits that he's been having trouble attracting members lately, so if they'll have him, they're all welcome providing they perform well in their first adventure.

They all accept, and Taryon welcomes them to the decaying manor and introduces their three rescue dogs, Barrie, Carrie, and Danny (short for Vax'ildan), and they have an economical dinner brought by Mariya Darrington, Tary's mother. Through the window, they notice a green glow as a shooting star crosses the horizon and a dull rumble as it lands.

Break

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Featured Characters

 * Taryon Darrington
 * Doty 5.0
 * Farriwen Breeze
 * The Owlbear
 * Damian Vadoma
 * Buddy
 * Hazel Copperpot
 * Macaroni Samsonite

New

 * Lawrence
 * Doolan Tversky

Returning

 * Lionel Gayheart
 * Mariya Darrington

Quotations

 * Taryon: Welcome, weary travelers! I am Taryon Darrington, founder, owner, and chief marketing officer of the Darrington Brigade, Wildemount's only not-for-profit mercenary group. If there's a dragon to slay, we slay it. If there's a damsel in distress, we unstress her. Our adventures are known far and wide in my bestselling book, copies of which Lawrence will gladly sell you in the gift shop later.

Trivia

 * This episode was recorded before a live audience at Bass Concert Hall in Austin, Texas on November 23, 2019.